#that was a lie. everything is self-indulgent here because I have no shame | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bratkook · 3 years

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come over. (m) jjk

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. smut, pwp, warnings. jungkook is a self proclaimed pervert, smut in forms of: mutual masturbation, voyeurism through bedroom windows, rough sex, oral (m receiving), jungkook is a lil mean but just a little, dirty talk, use of vibrator, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, overstimulation, unprotected sex word count. 7.2k summary. the guilt of being a dirty peeping tom eats Jungkook alive, not knowing this was all part of your elaborate plan to sleep with the new neighborhood eye candy. author’s note. #84 requested by @taestybae from this promp list! ty for sending this in bby 🖤 (requests now closed)

Jungkook knows it's wrong, god does he know it's wrong. Acting as if he didn’t mean to leave his blinds cracked open, tilted at just the right angle that allows him to still be able to see out, the view he’s granted being your own window a few feet away.

It’s funny now, how when he had first purchased the town house he had hated how close his neighbors were to him, and now here he was, an absolute pervert who was thankful for the narrow distance between your buildings.

The self proclaimed pervert simply sits at his desk, mindlessly going through work emails while his eyes continue to drift up, staring through his blinds for any sign of movement.

Jungkook’s chest feels tight as he waits, eyeing the ticking clock in the corner of his screen and seeing it was nearing nine at night. Maybe you had plans tonight, going out with your friends, mind too preoccupied to indulge the filthy fantasies Jungkook had swirling in his head. It had become his favorite daily activity, sneaking a peek at you, sometimes doing simple things like relaxing with a face mask, or having a dance party.

Of course those moments were all adorable but his favorite moments were the ones where you would walk around topless or lather lotion on your body after a shower. Sometimes you’d take the teasing a step further, blinds fully opened with only the sheer curtain coming in between him and your shadowed silhouette, caught in the act of what he could only assume was you touching yourself.

Jungkook used to think it was purely accidental, just a careless neighbor who had no idea his bedroom had the perfect view, but he swore you had made eye contact with him far too many times for this to not be intentional.

Before his mind can spiral further, there’s suddenly a flicker of light and like a magnet, Jungkook’s eyes lock in to their target, seeing you walking into your room with a small towel draped over your shoulder, sports bra and tiny workout shorts showing him how your body was glistening in sweat.

Pushing off his desk, his chair rolls and squeaks along his floor so he could get a better view, completely invested in seeing the way you get comfortable after your trip to the gym. Call it creepy or call it attentive but Jungkook had grown to know your schedule, you were his neighbor who enjoyed giving him peep shows so it was sort of hard for him not to realize the usual routine you had. However, this was the first time he had seen you come back from the gym this late.

Jungkook groans now at his realization, palm coming to rub down his face as he hears his own thoughts, behaving like a man who had a notebook where he jotted down your schedule.

He didn’t, but still, he felt like a creep. A dirty fucking creep.

With his eyes screwed shut he shuffles the chair back to its rightful spot like a child in time out, angling his body to prevent his wandering eyes from looking through his window once more, the shame once again eating away at him like it did every time.

Did you really do this on purpose?

Of course you did, you weren’t stupid.

The second Jungkook moved into your neighborhood he became the talk of the street, suburban house moms, young teenage girls, even your elderly neighbor had begun to wonder who the cute boy who went jogging down the street was. He oozed sex appeal, not even realizing how swooned he had everyone with his morning workout, he just thought everyone waved and smiled at him out of pure friendliness.

Although he had no idea how hot he looked, you were blessed with the gift of vision and common sense. It only took you one glance of him exiting his house, long hair partially tied back, running shorts hugging his thighs so beautifully and you were sold.

The minute you realized he was your next door neighbor it was like a lightbulb went off above your head, it was a blessing in disguise and you were not about to pass up the opportunity to have this go in your favor. Giving him a front row seat to you and everything you had to offer was the cards you chose to play and so far it had been going well.

That is until you exit the shower, excitement coursing through you, already wondering how you’re going to tease him tonight. With your towel loosely hanging around your chest, you’re ready for the small show, but as you get into your usual position you notice that his blinds are now tightly closed, no gap between the shutters to allow him a peak of you.

It’s a sudden and very unexpected chain of events. With a small huff of disappointment you perch yourself onto the end of your bed, directly facing your window as you sit in thought, your saucy plans for the night being ruined.

Wondering just what could have made Jungkook flip a switch like that kept you up at night so when you see him coming in from his run the following morning as you leave for work you don’t think twice about speaking up.

Your neighbor flinches when you greet him in good morning, not expecting to hear your voice so close to him but he could thank your connected driveways for that.

“Oh, good morning.” he smiles politely, pulling out his airpod and pausing his music entirely to give you his full attention. The small nerves of being called out bubble up inside of him, only having talked to you once prior he wasn’t really sure where this conversation would go, were you about to call him a disgusting pervert?

“Did you call it a night really early last night?” You bite instantly, soft smile not giving away your true intentions but he knows, the way his eyes widen slightly make it obvious.

“Yeah,” he sputters out, wiping his sweaty palms on his black shorts, nerves already making his heart skip. You knew, there was absolutely no way you didn’t and this solidified it. He had assumed you did, his guilty conscience making him believe what you did was intentional in order for him not to feel like the peeping Tom he very clearly was, but hearing you sneakily admit to knowing he hadn’t watched you last night made him feel like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over him.

“Haven’t been getting much sleep lately so..”

You simply nod along as he trails off in a lie, lips spreading out into a smirk as your eyes very obviously give him a once over, focusing on the deep cuts of his sleeves that expose his sides and art filled arm, how the shorts he wears hit above his knee and leave his glorious thighs out for you to see. He was truly blind to his good looks.

“Sorry I haven’t really given you a proper neighborly welcome, can I have your number?” Already fishing your phone out of your pocket because you knew he wouldn’t say no, still you tack on a helpful lie to make your flirting a little more subtle. “The neighbors have a group chat, I’ll add you to it so you can get all the hot gossip.”

If he knows you're lying he doesn’t show it, instead he looks a tiny bit disappointed that you wanted his number to add him to a neighborhood group chat. Regardless he recites his number with a smile, his phone instantly vibrating in his palm with a text from you, a friendly ‘hi neighbor’ with a waving emoji at the end.

As he starts to save your contact you open up your car door, grabbing his attention once more. “I’ll text you if I ever need sugar...or other neighborly things.”

The suggestive teasing in your tone isn’t lost on him now, his cheeks flushing at the implications behind your words. “Yeah, whatever you need.”

He’s admittedly even more disappointed when your message thread runs dry, not even being added to the gossip group chat that he was sort of curious about. You hadn’t even given him a show since the night he shut his blinds but it was all part of your plan, expertly crafted to go in your favor.

While you’re at work you get the email that sets everything in motion, a notification of your package being out for delivery. A very cute baby pink wand would be placed at your door step in discreet packaging and if things went the way you anticipated it would be making its proper debut tonight, hopefully with an audience of one.

Jungkook is pulled away from his computer screen when his phone vibrates against his desk, your name illuminated on his homescreen. He pauses for a moment, wondering if this was simply a text initiating him into that damn group chat that he had no idea didn’t actually exist, but when he unlocks it and opens up the thread he sees it's just you.

Y/N 3:48pm : hi jungkook, sorry to do this but im getting a suuuper important package delivered today could you please keep it safe until i get home later tonight? 🥺🖤

You wanted him to guard a package, just neighborly things, exactly what you said you would text him for.

Jungkook 3:49pm : sure, what is it?

He feels stupid immediately after hitting send, fingers curling together into fists as his eyes glare at his screen. Why the hell would he ask what the package was? Being a peeping Tom was clearly not enough, no he had to know about your online purchases.

Y/N 3:52pm : just something for sore muscles 😅

Just like a typical horny boy would, his mind wanders to what exactly could be in the box, quickly texting you an ‘okay!👍🏻’ before locking his phone altogether. He was going to lose his mind.

All according to plan.

Jungkook guards that package with his life, placed delicately on his kitchen counter, exactly where he left it the minute he saw the postman drop it off. He’s been glued to his couch since then, regularly looking over his shoulder to ensure the brown box wouldn’t spontaneously disappear.

Just as he feels himself getting antsy the gentle knocking from his front door has him springing up from his couch, pausing a few feet away from the door as he eyes the knob before looking back at the package. Should he greet you with it in his hands, or would that seem like he was trying to rush you away?

When you knock a second time he opts for just opening the door, seeing you standing there with that friendly smile, a small tweed skirt and matching top showing him you had just got off work, his eyes focusing on your exposed legs for a moment too long until your voice snaps him out of it.

“Hi Jungkook,” you greet him with that honey sweet voice, the tiny glimmer in your eyes betraying you but he doesn’t spot it. “Did you get my package?”

“Hey, yeah I did.” Leaving the door ajar, he steps further into his home, quickly retrieving the light box and bringing it to you, still patiently waiting with that polite smile as if you didn’t know what was packaged inside that box.

“You’re a lifesaver!” you cheer, holding it close to your chest with a small sigh, “I don’t know what I would’ve done if this got stolen.”

Jungkook can feel his face warm up, not able to stop his mouth from running on autopilot, unintentionally outing himself as an extremely observant neighbor. “You must be really sore from going to the gym all the time huh?”

There's a silence that falls over you both as you eye him curiously, gaze flickering with the same mischief from earlier, something he can easily spot now and he desperately wants to shrink into himself.

“Definitely,” you agree with a laugh, “thanks again, have a good night!”

And just like that you’re gone, leaving him with his forehead pressed against his front door as he feels like an idiot. “Really, you must be sore?” He mocks his own voice, rolling his eyes before standing up straight and retreating back into his room to finish the work he had neglected in favor of protecting your package.

The same package that you were currently clutching onto as you bolted up your stairs with a pair of scissors in the opposite hand, debatably not the safest choice but it had to be done. You feel like a crazed woman as you stab into the clear tape to break the seal, peeling back the flaps and letting out a giddy laugh when you spot the sleek white box, a photo of the device printed on the front.

With steady hands you pull out the prized toy, carelessly tossing the empty boxes to the side, hearing them land with a light thud. The soft silicone against your thumb fills you with anticipation, a silent click against the first button dulls down the excitement when it refuses to turn on.

“Stupid fucking chargers.” you grunt, setting the device down and making your way back to the discarded boxes, pulling out the tiny white cable to plug it in.

The provided pamphlet states a full charge in one hour, plenty of time for you to get a grip on yourself, the last thing you needed was to rip open your blinds and come face to face with your hot neighbor with the crazy eyes you’re sure you were sporting earlier, you really didn’t need to scare him off before the main event.

Jungkook is none the wiser as he mindlessly scrolls through the endless data in front of him, eyes floating through the numbers in a dazed manner, his mind far too occupied with that stupid package. He knew exactly what it was, proudly deciphering the code of something for sore muscles to spell out vibrator for him in giant neon letters.

Were you using it now, in your bedroom a good feet away from his own, laid out on your bed directly in his line of sight?

His mind continues to play out salacious scenarios as you finish applying your favorite lotion after the small body shower you took, the silk robe hanging off your shoulder as you bend forward. Your pink toy lays on your bed, the buttons now blinking to indicate a full charge, your plan was now back in motion.

As you step back into your room and slowly crack open your blinds you realize Jungkook’s are still tightly shut. Looking up into the slowly darkening sky you notice the clouds beginning to loom overhead, a smile spreading on your lips as you think of a way to get Jungkook to open up his blinds for the show.

Jungkook’s phone buzzes with a text a few seconds later, eyes widening slightly when he realizes it’s from you.

Y/N 7:02pm : lol does it look like its gonna rain to you?

His head tilts in confusion at your question, nonetheless he stands from his desk, fully sliding up his blinds to stare up at the sky. When he notices the grey clouds he looks down at his phone to start to type, the small flash of movement from across the way making him freeze, looking directly through your window once more and seeing you innocently sitting on your bed, staring right at him with a smile.

Jungkook can feel how wide his eyes get as he stares at you, leg crossed over the other as you rest back onto your palms, head tilted as you wave at him in greeting. Right where you want him.

His hand raises up to wave back at you, the voice in his head screaming every obscenity he could think of as he attempts to smile, the grimace in his face making it hard for you not to laugh.

You start slow, wanting to give him enough time to shut his blinds if he really wants no part in this, your hand coming up to begin pushing the robe off your shoulder further, the first sliver of skin being exposed to his eyes. Jungkook wants to scream, bang his head into the glass as he sees the way your skin glimmers, already knowing you had lathered on that damn lotion of yours.

When he doesn’t move you let the other sleeve fall down, the swell of your breasts holding up the soft material, shielding them from his sight for another moment. Your eyes never leave his face, needing to see his reaction when you sit up straight and let the material pool around your hips, tits fully exposed for him to see.

His reaction is well worth it, jaw dropping slightly as he spots the way your nipples harden in the exposed air, forehead nearly ramming into the window when you bring your hand up to pinch and twist at the pebbled buds. He feels his cock stirring in his pants when your head drops back, lips opening up to let out what he knows is the prettiest moan, head leveling out as you bite your lip and stare at him once more.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to do as he watches you, champagne colored robe still hooked around your elbows as you reach behind your bed and pick up the pink toy you had bought today. The metallic capped bottom shines in the light and he feels like he’s caught in a trance as you showcase it.

For a moment your attention drops down, landing on your phone as you quickly type out a message before setting it aside once more. His phone comes to life in his hand, nearly scaring him with its vibrations.

Y/N 7:18pm : touch yourself please

He swears he’s gonna bust his load then and there, typing out a quick ‘okay’, a message you ignore entirely in favor of turning on your toy. The excited look in your eyes is clear as day when the device buzzes in your hand, Jungkook’s eager fingers unbuttoning his jeans as you start to trail the vibrating head along your body, passing over your nipples and gasping at the ticklish feeling.

Looking across the way once more you see Jungkook’s gaze locked onto you, his body fully illuminated by his bedroom light, allowing you to see his hands start to push his pants down, taking his black briefs with them. Your teeth bite down onto your bottom lip as he raises his palm up to messily spit into it before coming back down to fist his slowly hardening cock. His covered chest rises and falls as he huffs out a breath, slowly squeezing his shaft as he glides up towards his head, coating his palm in the stray beads of precum that drip out of it.

This further solidified that Jungkook was a pervert, at least in his own mind, who else would be so eager to jack off to the sight of their neighbor this easily. You didn’t think so though, knowing every one of your actions had a purpose, Jungkook wasn’t a pervert for being a predictable boy, he was doing exactly what you wanted him to do.

As the head of your toy trails down your chest you take your time, circling your navel before reaching your hips, sliding down your thighs as you lean further back and begin to spread them apart. In a slow movement that Jungkook can’t look away from, you finally reveal yourself to him, folds glistening with your arousal, coating your inner thighs, allowing the toy to glide with ease.

Jungkook groans loudly as you pass the buzzing toy over your clit, a featherlike touch that makes you twitch and moan, his hand tightening around his cock as he twists on the way up. You were absolutely sin personified, giving him a show as you tease yourself, mouth dropped open as you finally press the toy against your clit, fingers slipping into your entrance and pumping inside of you. He can only imagine the way you sound as you stretch yourself open, hips rolling up into your hand as the pleasure jolts through you.

Fuck, what he would do to be able to touch you, hear your moans, be the one to hold that toy against you until you were writhing around.

You can see it in his eyes, the want clouding them as he watches you, his hand steadily pumping his length, quickening up each time your body twitches. When you pull the toy away his brows furrow, releasing his cock as he places his sticky palm against the window, wondering just what you were planning now as you reach for your phone once more.

It only takes you a few seconds to type out the message and hit send, looking up at him with that same predatory gaze you’ve been wearing all night. As he unlocks his phone again you stand up, letting the robe fully slide off your body, pooling around your feet as you step closer to your window, arms crossed under your chest to push your tits out further as you watch him.

Y/N 7:32pm : come over

He rereads the message three times, cock still out for you to see as he contemplates his options, finally looking back up and nearly choking when he sees the way you’re almost pressed against your own window, a sweet smile on your lips as you wave him over. That helps him make his decision, locking his phone and groaning as he slips his cock back into his briefs and shimmies his pants back on.

Your eyes gleam as he turns to exit his room, the light dimming off as he bolts down his stairs towards his front door. When he steps out onto his porch he sees the ground is damp, small droplets now falling from the sky, the chill creeping through his thin layers as he navigates across your connected driveways with his palms covering his extremely prominent bulge.

“Please be unlocked,” he whispers under his breath when he gets to your door, turning the knob and sighing in relief when it unlocks. Jungkook doesn’t care about manners as he steps in, locking the door behind him and instantly climbing the stairs two at a time, already knowing where your room was since your house was a mirror copy of his own.

When he finally pushes his door open he finds you perched on your bed, fully naked and waiting for him with that same toy trailing up and down your torso. The need for introductions are thrown out the window as he crosses the room, immediately settling beside you, his large hand cupping your cheek to pull you in for a kiss.

It catches you by surprise, the normally shy neighbor who got nervous whenever you caught him staring, never expecting him to be the type to go after what he wanted like this but the way he takes control makes you lean into his touch. His lips are tender against yours, hand guiding your face closer as he slowly licks his way into your mouth, a moan of approval leaving you as his warm tongue tickles yours.

You’d often fantasized about kissing him, wondering if he was the type to tease, to pull back and leave you wanting more but the desperation guides his movements, stops him from not fulfilling his own desires. Jungkook kisses you with passion, hunger leading him until he’s pushing you flat on your back, hands dropping down to gently hold onto your neck.

The toy is cast to the side, your own hands sliding through his long hair as you sigh into his mouth, the wet smacks of each kiss filling your ears.

“Take it off,” you mumble against his lips, trailing your hands down his back and tugging his shirt up, determined to rip it off of him to finally see the glorious body you know he has. Jungkook presses a quick kiss against you before kneeling up and pulling his shirt off by his neckline, each inch of exposed skin making your mouth water.

The way his muscles rippled, pulled taut as he stretches out and tosses the black long sleeve aside, bulging out when he finally relaxes, you can’t help but let your fingers trace each ridge on his stomach. Jungkook lets you take him in, not opposed to the lust swirling in your eyes, your tongue licking over your lips as you admire him, following the lines of each tattoo up his arm until you reach his face.

“Like what you see?” he murmurs, looking down at you with lidded eyes, letting them roam along your body, the swell of your tits that rise with each breath, how your hips can’t keep still, searching for any bit of friction you could find.

“You’re fucking unreal.”

He holds his breath when you begin undoing his pants, in a hurry to see his cock without the distance between you. “This is what you wanted isn’t it?” he realizes, the completely unphased look on your face, the perfectly executed texts and package delivery, just knowing that he had done everything you wanted him to do.

“It was fun though wasn’t it Jungkook, tell me–“ he helps you tug his jeans down, his briefs going with them and joining his shirt on the floor, “What did you like more, seeing me do everyday things or watching me play with myself?”

A choked groan slips past his lips as you wrap your hand around his cock, slowly sliding up his length as you question him, enjoying the way he struggles to respond. “God you’re filthy,” he grunts, jaw slack as you sit up, face now level with his cock as he rests on his knees.

The sly smirk you give him shows that you know this, know exactly how filthy you are, using it to your advantage to get what you wanted. With bated breath he watches the way you inch forward, tongue sticking out to gently lick the swollen head of his cock, the salty bead of precum picked up by your tongue.

“Can’t help it.” You sink onto him as the words leave your mouth, lips wrapping around him and he sighs at the warmth that envelops him, the wetness of your tongue circling his tip making his stomach tense up, muscles flexing to keep himself from thrusting into your throat.

The small moan you let out as he fills your mouth makes his body rattle, the feeling of his dick heavy on your tongue as you slide further down, wrapping your hand around the base to steady yourself. This was much more satisfying than seeing him play with himself a few feet away, the sighs of appreciation that float in the air each time you pull back make you keep going, wanting to see him fall apart.

Jungkook doesn’t know when his hands tangle themselves in your hair, taking it upon himself to guide you up and down his length, starting a filthy rhythm that lit his body up. He urges you down more, hands coaxing you, pushing you further onto him until you’re choking as he fills your throat. He doesn’t think you’ve ever looked prettier, eyes full of tears, nose pressed against his stomach as you hum around his cock.

He pulls you off of him a few seconds later, the wet gasp you let out ripping through the air as you catch your breath but that sly smile remains on your face, eyeing his messy length, bobbing slightly as he moves around.

Leaning over you once more his hands cup your face, thumb rubbing under your eyes where he spots the unshed tears threatening to spill over, collecting against your lower lashes. “Fuck, I bet you’re pretty when you cry.”

The rasp in his voice makes your stomach flip, more wetness coating your thighs and further ruining your sheets. “Make me,” you whisper, smiling when his eyebrows raise in question. “Make me cry Jungkook.”

His cock throbs at your response, wanting nothing more than to do what you want, turn you into a crying mess as you beg for him like he often thought about. “You sure?”

With a small nod you’re crawling backwards, flipping yourself over onto your hands and knees, arching your back for him as he eyes your exposed cunt, sodden folds shining when you wiggle your hips. “I’m sure.”

Jungkook fists his cock as he approaches you, slotting his knees between your thighs, inching forward until he’s circling your entrance in a teasing motion. Flashes of the way you had spread yourself open minutes prior play in his mind as he slowly breaches your entrance, the first feeling of you taking his breath away, eyes falling shut as you let out the first moan.

Your hands fist the sheets as he stretches you open, his size filling you up so deliciously, inch by inch splitting you open. He can’t look away from it, mesmerized with the way you take him in, molding around him like he was meant to be there.

A whimper leaves you as he presses his palms onto your ass, holding you still once he finally bottoms out, hips pressed flush against you, walls fluttering around him as he gives you time to adjust to his size.

“This is–“ you groan when he slides back a little, “this is just how I pictured it.” The laughter laced in your voice piques his interest, leaning over your body to see you with your face pressed against your sheets, a teasing smile on your face.

“Yeah?” Jungkook questions, tightening his grip on your ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh, no doubt marking them for you to see later. “You pictured getting fucked from behind by your neighbor?”

“Mhm,” you squeal out, giggling when he starts to fuck into you, pulling out nearly all the way before thrusting back in, the small smack of your skin mixing in with your laughter and moans.

“I knew it,” he grunts, trailing his hand up your spine, around your neck until his palm was pressing your face into the mattress, holding you down as he ravished you, stretched you apart and turned your impure thoughts into mush. “Knew you did it on purpose, fuck, do you know how guilty I felt?”

Your walls tighten around him and he moans out at the feeling, the warmth sucking him back in each time he pulled out, the wet squelch of you soaking his cock getting louder each time.

“S-sorry.” It's quiet, but he knows you don’t mean it, knows the words are lace with trouble as you start to rut back onto him, the playful smile felt against his palm spelling it out for him.

“Oh you’re sorry?” Jungkook picks up his merciless pace, knowing he found the right rhythm when you let out a cry of surprise, arching further for him and keening as he nudges against your sweet spot, the first sparks of your orgasm flashing within you. The fact that you were getting what you want sending you closer to the edge faster than expected.

“No, I’m not,” you admit, shamelessly moaning with each thrust. There was no way in hell you were sorry, if this was the outcome you’d do it all again the same exact way. Jungkook wouldn’t argue with that, the earlier guilt he felt long gone, replaced with pure hunger, only increasing when your moans start to get breathier, the panting felt against his hand, hot and heavy as you whimpered.

“I know you’re not, you love putting on a show for me huh, knowing I was watching you from my window while you fucked with me.”

His words make your mind spin, the intoxicating roll of his hips dragging you under into the same state of desperation he was in, weeks of mindless torture fueling the both of you with more than enough sexual frustration.

“I loved it,” you whine when he pushes your face harder into the sheets, the roughness he’s displaying making your stomach flip, thighs spreading out further for him and you let out a trembling moan when he sinks deeper into you.

You were going to cum, he recognized the way your body tightened up, walls clamping around him, making him curse as he continues to rut into you. Jungkook smiles as you cry out, chest pushing into your mattress, hands pulling at your sheets in desperation until suddenly, you’re cumming with a shout of his name, the feeling taking you completely by surprise. “F-fuck, Jungkook.”

He gasps as you gush around him, dripping down your thighs, creaming his cock until it's slick with your arousal. Jungkook doesn’t waste any time pulling out of you, needing to see your face as he sank back into you, now on your back with a dazed out smile.

A soft groan drips off your tongue, thick and needy when he bottoms out once more, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he starts to rock into you, forehead sweaty with his long hair falling around his face. It frames him perfectly, a simple curtain letting you see every expression he gives you, a private show just for you to witness.

“Wanna make you cry,” he confesses, bending down and kissing your chest, his right hand mindlessly swatting at the bed until he finds exactly what he’s looking for, that damn vibrator he had guarded with his life earlier.

The second the small vibrations meet your ears, your eyes go wide, catching the evil smirk on his lips as he holds the toy between you, fidgeting with the settings until it’s low enough to start. “Wait Jungkook, I’m sensitive.”

He leans back enough to trail the head down your stomach, taunting you as he circles your hips and reaches your mound. “You told me to make you cry though didn’t you baby?”

The excitement rushes through you once more, letting out shaky gasp as he just barely touches your sensitive clit, your body jolting and squeezing around his cock. Jungkook shuts his eyes at the feeling, bringing it back to rest against the tiny pearl, the low settings making a hum course through you, your fingers digging into his shoulders.

“Ah, Jungkook,” you cry, chest heaving as he starts to fuck you again, hips swirling around, unsure if you want to retreat from the toy or press against it harder, the slight sting of pain morphing into pleasure the longer he keeps it up.

“What?” he mocks, raising the settings until you’re shouting, a delirious laugh following suit as your thighs tighten around his waist in reflex. Jungkook knows you love this, your teeth biting down onto your bottom lip as you stare at him with glassy eyes full of tears, urging him to fuck you harder, begging him for more.

He does what you ask, pistoning his hips into you with enough force to jostle your body, the head of his cock just shy of hitting your cervix, waves of pleasure mixing in with the vibrations against your clit. Jungkook can feel his own orgasm creeping up on him, crawling up his spine, goosebumps flaring out on his skin, each wet thrust and cry from you only pushing him closer.

Jungkook watches you carefully, lost in his own pleasure but focused enough to see the way your eyes well up further, the needy sobs you release as he fucks you just right wrapping around him and urging him on, not wanting to hold back when this is what you’ve been wanting.

The small inkling to be mean and actually see the tears fall spurs something inside of him. With a few more clicks the vibrator hits the highest setting, buzzing intensely against your clit and you nearly thrash at the sudden feeling, back arching up as you gasp.

Jungkook chuckles, the low timbre making you whimper as he presses the head of the toy harder against you. “You gonna cum again, make a big mess around my cock?”

“Jungkook,” it’s a choked cry of his name, your arms seeking purchase around his frame, needing something to ground you as you start to float off.

“C’mon, wanna see you cry.” He watches in awe as your body tenses of for a moment, the pleasure catching just right to push you over.

“Fuck, fuck–“ you chant, words slurring together as a second orgasm is pulled out of you, eyes rolling back when the euphoric feeling crashes over you, tears finally spilling over and body turning limp as he continues to fuck you through it just like the last one. He feels like he won as the wetness pools under your eyes, brows furrowing together as you mewl at the feeling of your orgasm cresting, heartbeat slowing in your chest as you come down.

“So good,” he mumbles at the high vibrations felt against his cock, the flutters from your velvety walls keeping him from turning it off, sliding it down a bit closer to your entrance until he’s gasping as well.

“Too much,” you plead, eyes misty as you stare at him, mouth dropping open in a quiet moan when he ruts against you in search of his own release. His free hand reaches up to cup your cheek, wiping away the stray tears that had fallen against your skin.

“I knew you’d look pretty when you cry.” He sighs, shutting his eyes when you pulse around his length. “I’m almost there, you okay?”

His concern makes you smile, nodding as you place your hand over his own on your face, dealing with the oversensitivity for him to get his own release. “Yeah, cum inside me please.”

Jungkook groans in response, sliding the vibrator further down until it rests against the base of his cock, gliding along his length with each of his thrusts, the buzzing making his body tingle.

“Shit,” he grunts out, hips fucking you with more urgency, rutting against you sloppily, eyes opening up to stare directly at you and the lustfilled look you give him is what pushes him over. A choked groan dies in his throat when he sinks into you as deep as he can, spurts of his cum filling you up as his face twists in pleasure, mouth dropped open to release a soft moan that you swallow with a sweet kiss.

You hum against his lips when he thrusts shallowly a few more times until finally coming to a halt, turning off the toy and chucking it aside with no care before collapsing on top of you in pure dramatics. Jungkook has no qualms about how much he weighs, making himself right at home as he nuzzles into your chest, sighing in content when you rake your fingers through his hair.

“I feel sweaty, and I know I made a mess on your sheets.” Jungkook mumbles out, cheek pressed against your tits, eyes slipped shut with his slowly softening cock still inside of you. No doubt would your sheets be damp with an unholy mixture of the night's debauchery, something you would surely deal with later.

“It’s okay, I like the mess.” Your words are meant to be joking but the way his cock twitches inside you shows he takes everything you say seriously, simply rolling your eyes with a smile as you tease him further. “You’re a pervert.”

Jungkook scoffs at this now, taking full offense as he pulls out of you with an accusatory glare, eyes zeroing in on your evil smile as you prop yourself up against your headboard. “I’m the pervert?” When you nod he laughs loudly, finger pointing at you in a less than threatening manner, “Says the one who gave me free shows every night!”

“It’s not my fault you’re easy to rope in, you were hooked the second you saw me have that dance party in here huh?”

He nods instantly, knowing exactly what night you were talking about, it was the night he had moved in, before you had even realized he was your neighbor, having a full on dance party to some top 40’s from the 2000’s playlist you found. That was the first night he ever saw you and ever since then he had left his blinds cracked just to see a glimpse of you, not knowing what lewd ideas you had planned.

“Was it the facemask that did it for you?” You laugh, playfully nudging his side with your foot as he glares, the small smile on his face showing you he wasn’t taking this seriously.

“No, it was those sexy ass boyshorts you had on, I think they were grey. They made your ass look nice.”

He laughs with you as you squeal, knowing exactly what pair of underwear you had on, the oversized shirt doing nothing to hide them as you danced around like a lunatic.

“Is this gonna be a thing?” he wonders, taking it upon himself to enter your bathroom to grab a towel, the least he could do was clean up the mess he had caused between your thighs.

“What?”

“Should I text you about the weather tomorrow, call you over to mine this time? I’ll let you choke me if you’re into that.” He says it so casually it catches you by surprise, a cackle leaving you as he finishes cleaning you up, handing you your robe to cover up as he slips back into his underwear.

“Are you into that?”

“I could be,” he winks, flopping onto your bed beside you, letting his hand trail up your thigh until it reaches the hem of your robe, tracing the goosebumps that flare up because of it.

That was definitely something you could work with, mind already planning out the next time you’d torture your neighbor, wondering just how your hands would look like wrapped around his thick neck. Maybe you could see if he looked pretty when he cried.

He spots the mischief in your face instantly but before he could indulge you further, there was one thing absolutely eating away at his mind. “By the way, you never added me to that gossip group chat.”

Your lips purse into a tight smile as your fingers return to his hair, twirling each strand as you hold back a laugh, knowing it absolutely did not exist. You weren’t in the mood to crush his spirit, knowing he desperately wanted to know the ins of the neighborhood gossip so you simply shrug in faux apology, telling yet another white lie. “My bad, I’ll add you tomorrow.”

It’s good enough for Jungkook pressing a kiss against your thigh as he thinks of what the following night will bring, his mind also picturing just how cute your hands would look around his neck.

#ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #goldenclosetnet #heartsforbts #jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts smut #new

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

Text

We Need You

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1901

Summary: Bucky comforts a reader with imposter syndrome (inability to believe that one’s success is deserved)

Warnings: imposter syndrome, low self worth/self esteem, feeling worthless, slight angst, mostly comfort

A/N: I have issues that present similarly to imposter syndrome, but I don’t experience it fully or severely. You belong and wherever you are, you fucking earned that. You worked hard to get where you are. I hope this fic can bring you some comfort, I apologize if I did not serve the topic justice. Sorry it took so long! As always, if anyone needs anything from me or just wants to talk and vent, I am ALWAYS here! <3

Tags: @buckys2thicc @buckfics @thatfangirl42 @mardema @barnesplums @bucks-bunny @stucky-on-spiderman @peggycarter-steverogers @freigeistundanderes

Add yourself to my taglist! Masterlist

------

You were calm, cool and collected. Smart, dedicated, and hard-working. You were an Avenger, one of the more valuable assets to the team with your training in hand to hand combat and knowledge of weaponry.

At least, that’s how everyone saw you. Everyone except you.

Every “job well done” translated to “I could’ve done better” for you. Compliments in a way felt like pity to you. Like it was all a lie or something. You could’ve been better, you didn’t think you were anything special.

Anytime someone gave you praise you would wave it off with a small smile. Everyone saw it as you being modest, but internally you just couldn’t accept it. You couldn’t accept praise knowing you could’ve done better.

Settle for nothing less than perfection. But nobody’s perfect.

You were endlessly grateful for your team, your family, but you couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t deserve it. You had so much good in your life, but you felt like you had to keep proving yourself.

You had everything you could ever want, but you still felt like you had to earn it.

You thought you had done a good job at keeping it hidden. Imposter syndrome you had heard someone call it at one point. You had looked into it, realizing more and more of it resonated with you. You didn’t feel that you deserved your spot on the team, even though most of the team could agree that you were one of their best fighters.

You were also one of the kindest people on the team, and everyone enjoyed being in your company. Again, you wrote it off as them feeling obligated to talk to you rather than them choosing to talk to you.

Everything you thought about yourself, the degrading names you called yourself, and the way you waved off all of your achievements didn’t match up at all with the way anyone thought about you.

It went unnoticed to most. You would put up a front, small smiles and thank you’s occasionally. There would be small side comments that you would make occasionally, but it was nothing that would cause red flags to arise.

It’s nothing, really.

I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done.

It’s no big deal.

No worries

That’s why I’m here I guess

Compliments were deflected. Whenever you received criticism you would internalize it even though you knew it was nothing against you. Friendly advice to improve job performance. But for you, it reinforces the thought that your performance needed to be improved.

No matter what you did, you would never be good enough. You used to chase achievements, telling yourself that if you did well enough, if you did good things, that you would feel a sense of self worth. That maybe if you achieved things you would be filled with a sense of pride.

Instead you were left feeling as though you didn’t deserve any of the recognition you received. In a way, it made you feel even more insecure.

You thought that if you accepted the praise you would seem self indulgent or boastful that if you said what your achievements were you would seem prideful. So you accepted them with a small smile and thank you. At least until people moved onto the next topic and you drop the smile when it seemed safe. When no one was watching.

When you thought no one was watching.

Which is how Bucky had come to notice the discomfort you had.

When he had first joined the team, he was very quiet. He did a lot of listening and observing, not wanting to speak much himself. That was understandable to anyone. So when you had been introduced to him and your skillset had been mentioned and you waved it off saying no big deal, he had noticed how you shifted as if you were uncomfortable and your smile dropped as soon as the attention was on someone else.

He didn’t think much of it. If anything it had to do with being uncomfortable around him.

But as time passed he started relaxing around everyone too, especially you. He was still accepting what he had done and who he was now. He was still reserved but he wasn’t silent. The two of you had become good friends, being two of the quieter personalities on the team.

Now you had someone to keep you company when you stayed at the outskirts of Tony’s parties.

But as more time went on, he noticed small things that you did. Behaviors you had, things you said. Clutch phrases. The way you would seem embarrassed when people complimented you. The way you would say that there were no worries even if you were the only reason that a mission was successful.

Sometimes when you thought you were alone or no one would hear, he would catch you mumbling things to yourself. Things like yeah right to compliments before giving a genuine response. The slight shakes of the head in protest. The nervous habits you had when you got a compliment. The little things that others were too distracted to notice, too small to

Bucky was an observant man.

Which is how one night, you hadn’t realized him come into your room to talk to you about something that Bucky completely forgot about once he saw you. You were sitting down at your desk, head in your hands and rubbing your eyes.

Jesus why am I so stupid

What the fuck is wrong with me

They don’t mean what they say

How could they like you?

I’m worthless

Just like everyone else

I don’t belong here

You were so trapped by the marathon of degrading thoughts that you hadn’t heard Bucky come in. He stood beside you, concern etched on his face.

“Y/n?” you jumped slightly and took your hands away from your face, blinking in surprise. You had been crying. Why was he here?

“Y/n what’s wrong?” he asked, coming over to you.

You shook your head and shrugged, wiping a few loose tears from your face. “‘M fine Buck,” you whispered, struggling to keep your emotions out of your voice.

“Y/n,” Bucky said, crouching down in front of you. “You wouldn’t be crying if something wasn’t wrong. It’s okay to be upset, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just tell me why you’re upset.”

You shook your head again. “Really Buck, I’m fine.”

“Y/n, I may not be able to read minds like Wanda, but I know something’s bothering you.it’s okay.”

You sighed, taking a breath before looking at him. “Do you guys really mean it?” you suddenly asked meekly.

Bucky drew his eyebrows together in confusion. “Mean...what?”

“After missions, when you say I did the right thing, that I did a good job, that you guys need me - do you mean it?”

Bucky looked more puzzled now. “Yeah, of course we do. Why else would we say things like that?”

“If you thought you were supposed to.” you said suddenly. “Or if, you know, you wanted to be polite, or you thought I wanted to hear it, or you didn’t really mean it I don’t really know I -”

“Y/n, hold on, slow it down...What?” Bucky said. “Why on Earth would you think that?”

You crossed your arms and shrugged. “I dunno, I just don’t really feel like I’m all that valuable to you guys here. I don’t do anything you guys couldn’t do without me. I make so many mistakes all the time and no matter how hard I try I just don’t feel like I belong here.”

Bucky took a minute to look at you. He had known you doubted yourself but this was beyond what he had thought. To think that you, y/n, weren’t valuable to this team was a crazy idea to him

To you it was the truth.

“Y/n, no, we need you. Why on Earth would you think you don’t belong?”

“Because I haven’t earned it. I’m on the team, I fight with you guys, but I still don’t feel like I should be. The mistakes I make all the time, the wrong calls, the selfish calls, bad judgements...I could go on. I just...no matter how much good I do it doesn’t make the mistakes go away.”

“Y/n, you are one of the best people we have, we -”

“No I’m not,” you said firmly, surprising Bucky. You shook your head. “You guys don’t need me. I don’t deserve to be on this team.”

“And I do?” Bucky asked.

You looked back at him. “What do you mean? Of course you do. Your the best fighter we have, Steve's best friend, we need you.”

“But I’ve made so many mistakes. You know all of the horrible things that I’ve done y/n. I was made into a weapon.” he said.”

“Bucky you know that wasn’t your fault. You didn’t choose that and you would've done anything to stop it. That’s different. You’re a great fighter and a good person, Bucky.”

“So are you.” he stated simply. “Do you believe that?”

You took a deep breath. “I believe you believe that. But that doesn’t mean it’s true.”

Bucky put his hands on your shoulders. “You are a fighter. A hero. You’ve saved so many people doing things that some of us couldn’t or wouldn’t do. People out there remember how you saved them. How you protected them and gave yourself to them. That was you, no one else. You are a part of this team, you help make it what it is. We would be lost without you. You put your blood, sweat, and tears into this team. You give your heart and soul to this team. You’ve earned every goddamn bit of praise you get and more. You fought your place onto this team and you deserve to be here just as much as everyone else here. So when your head tells you that you don’t belong or that we don’t need you, tell it to fuck off. Because you’re one of the best people we have.”

By now you had tears in your eyes again, but not ones of shame. Ones of appreciation and relief. You had wanted to hear those words directly for so long and to be affirmed in that way was something you needed. “Thank you Bucky,” you said softly, giving him one of your first genuine smiles at a compliment.

He squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. “Anytime. Anytime you want a reminder, you let me know. I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it before you can start to believe it for yourself.”

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deiitaelric · 3 years

Text

bkdk split up fic - part 2 ig

PART 1 HERE

like some people liked this highly self indulgent idea, I’m writing more. I hope you enjoy :)

*unedited, don’t shame my English*

---

Not much later All Might entered the room and five pairs of eyes looked at him.

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

“All Might! Kacchan got hit by a quirk and split up in four” Izuku said, approaching him. The little boy between his arms looked at him, then at All Might, and back at Izuku when he spoke.

“What are you talking about? Why did you call him All Might?”

“Hmmm, well…” Izuku turned back and looked at the Kacchans there. “Should I tell him or not?”

“The fuck is going on?!” Teen Kacchan yelled.

“Well, young- younger Bakugou, the thing is, this is my body when I’m not on duty” The old man told the little kid.

“The fuck?!” Yelled the same teen.

“I don’t believe you” The child enunciated, crossing his arms. He looked out of the corner of the eye at Izuku. Then he looked away. And then back at Izuku. “Is that true?”

“Yeah, well… Yeah, he’s telling the truth”

“You wouldn’t lie to me, right? Because I’ll kick your ass, Izuku, I don’t care you’re older now”

“I know, I know. I wouldn’t lie to you, Kacchan”

The child looked satisfied and glared back at All Might, still with his little arms crossed.

“Prove it, anyway”

“Kacchan, that’s…”

“Of course!” All Might said, entering his buffed shape. “I’m here!”

“Wooooo” The kid’s eyes went wide and shiny, his mouth smiling wide. He patted Izuku’s back with one hand and pointed at the hero with the other. “It’s him!”

“I know. He’s so cool, right?” Those big red eyes looked at him and Izuku felt his heart full of joy.

“Wow!” Was all what the kid responded.

All Might came back to his form in a cloud and smiled at them. The teenager was shocked in place, the seventeen years old was just frowning looking at Deku, and the oldest was smiling lightly, with his arms crossed over his chest. The original Katsuki looked at the older and tilted his head just one second, thinking about how his future-self looked so fucking cool, just as expected. But when he looked at the teen, he frowned. To handle that bitch was gonna be difficult. But he knew himself better now, so maybe he might be able to handle him for the amount of time he had to be split up.

All Might asked Mini Kacchan to grab him and two seconds later the old man had the kid between his skinny arms, holding him with such care. The little thing has sparkles on his big eyes. The other blondes and Izuku revised the records All Might had brought to confirm that knowing the future wouldn’t affect Katsuki or the world. This was because once he returned to normality, all the experience would return to the original Katsuki, maybe with the exception of the future one. Will the future Kacchan remember the travel when he came back to his time? Probably, but it wouldn’t affect so much. How long does it take to come back to normal? It depends on how much exposure he had with the quirk, so doing math, they think it may only last a couple of days. Should they tell Katsuki’s parents? He himself, all of them, agreed in a firm no. Would they have to share Original-Katsuki’s room? Yes. Except for the child, who didn’t want to leave Izuku’s side.

“Hah? You’re not going to stay with this nerd” The teenager complained.

“Shut up, I’ll do whatever I want” replied mini Kacchan, already back in Izuku’s arms.

“Kacchan, it’s oka-”

“You just shut up, Deku! I don’t care you have a fucking quirk now! I bet it’s a lame one, just to fit you!”

“That’s enough, Kacchan. You don’t have to be that way” Izuku put the child down and looked at him with a serious expression.

“Hah? Where all this confidence came from, fucking nerd?”

“I know you well enough. We already had this fight, I’m up for having it again” Izuku raised his hand in fist in response to Katsuki's raising palms cracking little explosions.

“The fuck, Deku?” the original said, letting his body between them. “Are you fucking serious?”

“I know the way to make him stop doing this!”

“If you know, just stop!” Katsuki looked Izuku right in the eye. “You know how he feels”

“And that’s just why! I want to let him know I never looked down at him!”

“But don’t follow my ways, stupid! Right now, you're just agreeing with him”

“Kacchan… You know I’m not doing that… And having that fight changed everything between us”

“Shut up! He’s not me” Katsuki made a face. “Well, he is! But you know what I meant”

“Allright, fine. But mini Kacchan can do whatever he wants, you listen?” He knelt beside the kid and softened like nothing had happened. “You can stay with me if you want, okay?” He said sweetly, brushing his spiky head.

“Okay! But don’t treat me like a child, ok?!”

“I won’t, I promise” Izuku smiled at him.

After the little dispute, they sat on the couches, saying goodbye to All Might and waiting for Aizawa to come back with instructions. Mini Kacchan climbed Izuku’s lap and sat there. The young adult was on the couch arm, looking at them piercingly. The original was sitting on another couch, looking at them, and the teen leaning against the couch’s arm, arms crossed, an angry pout on his face.

“And what now?” Izuki said, helping the kid to sit comfortably on his lap. The little boy was looking at the oldest blonde with a suspicious look and when Izuku followed his gaze, found those crimson eyes on him. “Wh-what?”

The young adult Kacchan smiled. Izuku caught his breath. Then Older Kacchan lowered his view at the kid. The two blondes looked intensely one in another eyes, and an electric tension passed between them. The kid turned to face Izuku and hugged him, resting his little head over his shoulder, and putting his tongue out at the older blonde, who frowned a little with a smirk.

“What are you two doing?” The original said. They kept looking at each other, not answering. Then Izuku looked at Original Kacchan and smiled weakly.

“I don’t know what is happening. Are they having a staring competition?”

“He wants to steal you from me” The kid whispered in his ear. Izuku gasped and his face reddened.

“Wh-What?”

“What’s happening, nerd?” Original Kacchan barked, starting to get annoyed.

“Uh, no- Hmm, nothing” his voice turned out high pitched and he moved his hands in front of him. Mini Kacchan hugged him tight and Izuku hugged him again. The kid then loosened the grip. “Um?”

“Okay, I’m done with this shit. I’m leaving” Teen Kacchan said, already leading to the door.

“And where are you planning to go, huh?” Original Kacchan said, rolling his eyes.

“Shut it!” Teen barked, opening the door only to find Aizawa there.

“Go back in there, Bakugou”

“Are you fucking doing anything this time, or are you gonna waste my time?”

Aizawa kept looking at him for a moment, blinking slowly. Then he pointed at Teen Kacchan, turning his head to look at Original.

“And I thought you were something, wow” The older man looked back at the teen with a bored expression. “I’m a teacher, so I’m the authority here. Do you have a problem with that?”

“As long as you do something”

“Okay, look, I don’t have the energy for this” He focused his attention on the other boys present and pointed at them while talking. “Bakugou, you will need to attend your classes either way” he said to Original Kacchan. “You will have to take care of the child,” he said to Older Kacchan. “And you,” he turned to point at Teen. “What are we gonna do with you?”

“He can attend the classes, too. Take the wind out of him” Older Kacchan said, smirking.

“Whose side are you on?” Original asked, angrily.

“Deku’s” He said, lowering his eyes at him again. Izuku looked at him out of the corner of the eye and looked away, flustered.

PART 3 HERE

ok idk what am i doing lmao

#bakudeku #bkdk #bakudeku fic #bkdk fic

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mrwinterr · 3 years

Text

So Happy

Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Female Reader

Summary: After a night with your favorite artist, you’re left wondering where you both really stand.

Warnings: Smut 18+ (consensual, but unprotected sex, oral [male & female receiving], vaginal penetration and fingering, size kink and dirty talk). Language. Light mentions of substance abuse. Lying asses. Internet toxicity (I hate it here sometimes). Angst, I guess...TIME SKIP...and absolute horrendous fluff (that’s not my brand, alright).

Disclaimer: You can read part 1 here! It would make some sense.

A/N: This follow-up is still based on some true events. Can’t hate the players, hate the game. For the most part it’s made up because some of us deserve the ending we think we deserve. I’m dedicating this to @shawnie--jo for all the love, enthusiasm and the patience because this took me a while. It’s a doozy! & with that note, enjoy!

“You owe me,” is the first thing you hear your friend say the moment you stepped foot back into the hotel you had booked for the night before. It was in a much different tone than of the one she had in line for the concert.

Frozen in place, you turn your attention to her sitting figure on one of the single couches of the lobby. She wasn’t happy that much you could tell judging by the expression on her face and the way she sat impatiently, one leg over the other and her arms crossed against her chest.

The bag next to hers on the ground adjacent to her feet were your belongings. The way it was misshapen suggested she had hastily shoved your things back in it for you. She must’ve been in a rush to leave before checking out or…

“You owe me $50 for the late check out fee,” she clarifies, ceasing all thoughts of why she was currently pissed at you.

Now begins the walk of shame. It wasn’t something you were used to. Could you even call this that? You had no reason to feel ashamed because you were completely aware of last night’s events. You defended your decision as so! Then why did you feel this way?

Perhaps it had to do with you just now returning to the hotel you were supposed to have been checked out of hours ago, but instead you’re greeted to your more than displeased best friend staring daggers at you for a different reason.

Sheepishly bringing a hand to rub the back of your neck, when you’re close enough to her, you open your mouth to begin apologizing, but she wasn’t done as she got up on her feet to level with you.

“You said you would be back before check out,” she said voice slowly rising in volume, no matter the distance between you two was close or not, you could tell this was just the start of a catalyst, “and it’s...oh,” she stops to look down at her phone, which shined bright revealing her lock screen and more importantly the time, “...only three hours past check out!” Yup, not happy with you at all.

“I know you’re upset,” you start with the obvious, “and you have the right to be. I said I would be back in time, but I wasn’t,” maybe admitting you were wrong would allow her to see you were indeed aware of your mistakes, soften the blow to come a little bit.

“Upset? I’m disappointed!” she says, her arms falling to her sides and with a look of disbelief but is quickly washed over with indisposition. “Some sell-out rockstar invites you over to see him and you lose your sense of mind?”

“Look, I’ll pay you back. It’s no big deal.” At least on your end, you’re trying to remain calm even when her tone and choice of words get under your skin. You didn’t need this weekend to end on a bad note.

“This isn’t about the money!” She proclaimed.

“Then why are you bitching at me? I’m a grown adult! I know what I did-” Yeah, at least you were trying to stay composed, right?

“Do you?” She challenges. It’s one of those rhetorical questions, in which she didn’t need an answer to, but you were still going to give her one.

“Yes, ok. I slept with Bucky and I don’t regret it.”

The defense you put up so quickly around you weren’t something your friend was used to witnessing...maybe to your parents, yeah, but not at her. Sure, you’ve both had the occasional quarrels, but your relationship and sexual life was different because she really cared for your wellbeing and would be damned if someone hurt you.

“I’m just worried,” she admits for her initial brute front, “what you did was totally unlike you and I…”

“What?” You interrupt her, growing more tired of this conversation by the second.

“I don’t trust Bucky.” She blurts out.

You scoff at that reasoning, “you don’t know him-”

“And you do?” This time she interrupts and catches you off guard on that one. “You’re right. I don’t know him, but you said it yourself. Bucky meets tons of people every day. He’s on the road a lot. It’s easy for him to get lonely.”

There it was again. The self-conscious thoughts questioning everything about last night’s events. In a pathetic display of defense, you start counter-questioning her with some of the statements Bucky said to you. Why would he tell you all those sweet things and pretty promises if he knew he could have you so easily? Why would he think you weren’t like the other women out there who exposed their escapades for their 15 minutes of fame? What made him think anything of you? There were other girls in the crowd.

“He’s going to tell you things he wants you to hear to get what he wants.” She really believed that. She knew what some men were capable of. She had more experience than you and you often turned to her for things like this.

Her last sentence was something to let sink in. The way last night played out and the last few hours you spent with Bucky; you were blinded by a rose tint world.

Earlier that morning...

“You know,” Bucky starts with his gaze first set on your face, slowly starting to drift down your body trying to catch a glimpse of uncovered skin that the blanket was doing a horrible job in concealing. You watch with bubbling desire the way he bit his bottom lip and eyes growing darker, ”...if you ever need anything. I’m here to help. I can get you out of that town and you can stay with me in Brooklyn. We’ll find you a place to work in that’ll appreciate you more.”

He was a dream. He was so sweet, but you weren’t going to deny it. As much as you adored what little you knew about the real Bucky, a part of you that was always so careful was also skeptical. That voice in the back of your mind, whether it was your parents, teachers in the past, PSA spokespersons or your best friend, was still trying to tell you Bucky wasn’t an exception.

Then on the other hand, you were finally getting what you wanted. You weren’t a little girl anymore. You could take care of your own heart. Why couldn’t you have some fun? Indulge a little. Life is too short to sit around and wait. If he was serious about any of the things he said, then great! If not, oh well, you’ll live. What’s life without experience, right?

You just never imagined any of the harmless mentions or replies through social media were going to get you in bed with him and so smitten.

When Bucky pulls his lips away from you, he repositions himself on the bed to lie on his back and bask in the comfortable silence. You’re still on your side, but your eyes suddenly widen as you curiously take a peek over his frame and notice the red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table. The curtains were drawn shut, so you had no trace of the actual time of day.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, but was no use. It was just you and Bucky in the room and he’d definitely wonder why you’d grown frantic.

“Whoa. What’s the rush?” He says slowly sitting up, still exhausted, and watching you throw the hotel comforter over your body to get out of bed. You didn’t even care that you were naked in front of him. He’d have a souvenir to remember you by.

The sex tape was the least of your worries though. You fucking missed check out! You can only imagine the look on your friend’s face when you reunite.

“I missed check out,” you respond while momentarily being thrown off course in search of your underwear, but then instantly remembering how Bucky tore it off of you, and you did your best to push aside last night’s activities.

“What?” He asks, rubbing his face trying to rid himself of sleep. He had to get going too. The band was off to play in the next city in some hours. Unfortunately, you didn’t have enough time to take off from work to follow him.

“The hotel I’m staying at. I missed check out and my friend is going to be so pissed at me,” you explained beaten. You can’t for the life of you see where your clothes were in the dark room.

Drawing the curtains open or switching the light on without warning wouldn’t be ideal to the both of you and not only that, the effects of the substances your body was coursed through, the physicality of you and Bucky’s actions last night, the consequence of it all topped with the lone fact that you’re now standing naked in front of Bucky starts to seep in.

You try not to stand there awkwardly and do the only thing you can do. Inhibition creeping back in, you cover your face with your hands and breath in and out, hoping the floor would swallow you whole so you could escape this embarrassment and your friend’s pending wrath.

“Look,” Bucky says now in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face, he’s naked too, washing away some traces of vulnerability away, “you’re already late. You can’t change that. We can only keep moving forward,” he says, his arms slipping around your body to pull you close to his.

The sudden jolt from the skin-to-skin contact quickly subsides with the warmth of his body transferring onto yours. You hold onto his biceps and nod in acceptance. Any attempt to rush back to your hotel wasn’t going to do you any favors now.

“So then, what do you say we get cleaned up and try to enjoy our time together?” The way his head tilted to the side, a not-so-subtle hint in the direction of the shower in the bathroom, his smooth voice and his eyes half-lidded, ready to get lost in you one more time.

You said it yourself, life was short, so if you already knew your friend was going to chew you out, why deny yourself of its pleasures right now, especially if it’s coming from Bucky.

“Can we just get going? We’ll catch traffic on the way back to the city if we just stand here and keep putting each other down,” you ask, slightly shaking your head of the early morning activities and straightening yourself up, bending forward to pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.

This little spat would eventually pass. None of the arguments you two had were ever threatening to your friendship with each other. You’ve both fought over things much more critical that it’d be a shame to let it be over someone like Bucky.

Before you could turn back around to exit, your friend grabs a hold of your arm and stops you. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. I could be wrong. Bucky could be the one, but I want you to be smart about doing whatever you end up doing with him. I just want you to ultimately be happy,” she says wholeheartedly.

You knew she was only coming from a good place. She only ever encouraged you to do your best and the right thing. She was the one you sought out advice from and she never led you astray. In the end, you knew you couldn’t ever truly be mad at her. You owed her more than $50 alone.

“Thanks. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know your intentions are in the right place and I really appreciate you for everything. You even agreed to come to this show with me! But I’m only human and I’m going to make mistakes along the way,” you say and notice the fallen look on her face, but you don’t give her long enough to feel sorry for you with your follow up statement, “...if I get hurt, it’s going to suck, but I’ll get back up, learn from it and move on. Plus, I’ll have you there by my side to tell you I told you so...again, and we both know how much you enjoy that!” You end it on a joking note.

A look of hope creeps back in on your friend and she’s pleased to see your resilient attitude again. You give her your best steadfast smile and it seemingly proved to be successful enough for her to accept your answer as she pulls you in for a warm hug.

You wonder, what Bucky’s motive was? He was Bucky Barnes. He could have anyone. Why did he trust you enough to be intimate with? What was his game? You just had to keep telling yourself for your sanity and wellbeing, with or without Bucky, in the end you’d still be happy.

The months to follow after that tour, you and Bucky had continued to stay in touch. You genuinely felt happy. He was giving you attention! From daily texts and long phone conversations or video calls, some rather suggestive than most, you were able to really learn a lot about each other. While you minded his glamorous lifestyle, each interaction erased all notions of it and he was just another normal human being.

If you were being truthful, a part of you was hoping whatever the two of you had was exclusive. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were in a way reserving yourself for Bucky because you felt there was something between you two and maybe he was just like you and too shy to be the one to bring it up first.

At times you’d find yourself being the one to initiate conversation...especially when the communication started becoming less frequent. They then reduced to just Holiday texts and suddenly they’d become unresponsive and you’d even be left on read. He never flew you to Brooklyn. He never followed you back on social media. You’d accepted he was most likely busy and the excuse of not wanting to attract unwanted attention to you, but the reality of it was he had seemed to move on.

It’d been close to a year and things were really quiet. The Avengers hadn’t released anything new nor did they have an upcoming tour to rehearse for. You’re trying to not let Bucky’s silence bug you and do what you’ve always told yourself - keep living your life. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you were angry at first for letting him get to you like that and realize that boys will be boys. They would never grow a real pair and be straight with women. They always had to go and sugarcoat everything. You had to accept it. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. You were just a one-night stand and the worst part of it was that you consented to it, so you couldn’t hold anything against him.

Things picked back up in your life, work demanded more of your time and you were dating again, taking it very slow and casual. You knew nothing more would come out of it, but it was enough to distract you from Bucky. Life was slowly returning back to normal, even though it never truly could be, until you notice Bucky is posting regularly on his social media accounts again.

It’s not so much that but is one of the comments from another user that is a constant in each sporadic post. You recognize the user as an international model from another country. Curiosity gets the best of you and you decide to check out her profile, noting all the photos of them together and realizing that while you thought Bucky went M.I.A., he was spending his free time getting cozy with her in exotic places.

Her comments start out harmless in the beginning, but quickly become more and more persistent until one sets the record straight. It read, “that’s MY man” followed by a number of heart eye emojis.

You didn’t even know Bucky and the model knew of each other, but why wouldn’t they? He was exposed to extraordinary people, so finding someone in the business was a better bet than settling with you. They lived in a totally different world than yours.

There’s a plethora of thoughts that run through your mind. This is why he isn't responding to you. He had a girlfriend, who was in a much different league than of your own, and he didn’t really go public with it on his end. It made you sad, that much you could admit to yourself because you held back for him, but you weren’t going to admit this feeling to him or your friend or the world. You were going to prove to them you’d do the same thing - move on.

It’s a rather slow day at work and you’ve resulted in mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed, but growing tired of lame memes and life updates from people you haven’t spoken to since high school, you switch over to Twitter for a more different kind of news and also a bit of some entertainment.

You’re not expecting the particular topic to be trending - #BuckyBarnesIsCancelled. You’d manage to move on from whatever it was between you and Bucky and returned back to your daily routine. You tried to remain a fan of The Avengers, but it wasn’t the same. The fling, if you could call it, with Bucky wouldn’t let you. You’d always be grateful for how their music impacted your life, but you’d have to keep living your life despite what transpired.

Sitting up from your slumped position in your office chair, you ponder for maybe two seconds before clicking on the hashtag. Things were still pretty quiet with The Avengers, with the exception of paparazzi photos here and there, but this seemingly came out of nowhere. What stupid thing did he get himself into?

“No way,” you mock at the headline. Claims of Bucky being mentally abusive, and an addict were being made left and right.

You scrolled through the timeline and threads of replies to find the source of it all and you were shocked that it came from none other than his own girlfriend...well now ex-girlfriend you assumed. The vindictive side of you only allowed a small part in finding some humor in this, but if Bucky was any bit of the Bucky you spent the night with and got to know for those few short months then this was sad for him.

There wasn’t much you could do though. What were you to do? Send him a message of condolences of some sort? He’d probably just leave you on read. Whatever you two had was long over.

Bucky’s agency did well to defend him and save his reputation. They released one statement to clear things up. There’d been images before of him partying and no doubt high on some substance, but that didn’t prove he was an addict. Then again, did you ever really know him? You’d been exposed to that stuff around and because of him. Some people just had more access to certain things than others did.

In some time, when things leveled out once more, he seemed to be back in the clear, but at a rate where people have already decided whose story they believed over the other, whose side they were on, the damage had been done. If there was a recurring theme here, Bucky had one thing to do after the scandal - move on with his life.

It felt a little strange being here again. If you take into consideration some of the things that had already happened, a lot has really changed since you were last in a line to see The Avengers live.

The band had taken a short hiatus to let the fire die out from Bucky’s scandal. It was probably a smart move - to let people cool their jets and forget. It was last reported Bucky had turned a new leaf...something about getting help. Steve took time off to focus on other projects...something about humanitarian work. Sam released some solo stuff...something with a different sound, but still as successful. The time off was probably the best for the guys.

There weren’t as many people it seemed, but enough for them to play in one of the city’s largest venues. You suppose that’s what a span of three years could do to an artist. When the tour was announced you weren’t sure if you should buy a ticket or not, but it’d been some time since you had a night where you could forget about the stresses of the world for a few hours. Never mind the short stint between you and Bucky, you were still a fan of their music and the joyous feeling you got from it was timeless.

This time you were alone. You didn’t even tell your friend they were touring again. Bucky was almost a nonexistent topic for a good while now. Plus, she had her own life to live and couldn’t always be there next to you. You were the bigger fan after all. On top of that, she would’ve most likely have advised against you attending.

Your attire was not to impress, electing on something casual and comfortable with a simple pair of jeans, a leather jacket over a nice top that did a better job at controlling your cleavage than the last one, and cute boots. Yeah, a lot had changed, but the scene didn’t as there were still a mix of fans, old and new, over and under dressed.

The guys still had it. They looked great! They definitely belonged on the stage for the world to see. They even played a 3-song encore. You could tell they loved doing what they did and anyone who was a fan could feel the passion and energy they poured out in the performance.

You’re currently sitting in the seat of your car, head resting against the headrest as you try to unwind a little from standing for a few hours and from the walk back to the parking garage when your phone vibrates and chimes loudly.

You glance over at the device you placed next to the driving console and your eyebrows scrunch in confusion at the name that appeared. Bucky Barnes. You’d never deleted his number and his text message thread had remained at the very bottom of your messaging app all this time. A sense of apprehension flows through you as you wonder what he could possibly want. How do you just text someone after ghosting them for over a year? Not to mention to someone you did something so intimate with and made all those promises to in the past. How does one do that?

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer or slip into restless thoughts about Bucky again because it wasn’t a walk in the park to forget about him, you open the text. It asks if you were in attendance because he claimed to have seen you in the crowd. This time around you’re not overthinking about what to respond with, you simply say yes. He’d been quick with his next message asking if you were still in the area to meet up.

The wise thing would probably be to reject the invite, but you find yourself once again staring at a hotel door waiting for him to open it. Initially, you’d suggested he tell you what he wanted to say via text, but he said it was something that had to be told in person. So, having been through what you had as a result of meeting up with him in the past, you had some sense of mind this time, you’d just have to make another mental note to not jump into bed with him again. If you were being truthful to yourself, the sex tape left you feeling a little cheap. He didn’t even send it to you as some form of fucked up courtesy or assure you that it wasn’t ever going to get leaked and luckily it hasn’t. You hoped he’d deleted it.

It was almost like Deja vu. You might as well have been reliving the night the first time Bucky invited you over to his hotel room. In the beginning it was kind of awkward and quiet, and it was exactly that years later, just with added history of course.

You’d chosen to sit on the end of one of the beds while Bucky moved slowly around the room trying to gather his thoughts and where to start. He notices the change in you. You were more confident and as you should be. Bucky Barnes couldn’t intimidate you this time. He had more to be embarrassed about than you did now.

Even though you had nowhere to be in the morning, it was getting late and you really would just like to get this meeting over with and Bucky was stalling.

“Bucky, why did you invite me here?” You say, the one to break the ice. He finally stops fidgeting around and focuses on you.

“I...I wanted to apologize,” he starts off, and you’re unmoving silence allows him to continue, “I realize how much of a complete dick I was to you…”

“What do you mean?” You ask. It’s not like he spread any dirty rumors about you or anything. He didn’t need to apologize for anything that you’re aware of. Maybe for leading you on, but you came to terms some time ago that maybe he didn’t owe you an explanation or perhaps you’d never get one. Yet here you both are.

“I used you,” he explains, now you’re confused, and he can see you’re not getting it entirely, which pains him. You didn’t think anything he did with you was wrong because you consented to it. It took two to tango, right?

Except it wasn’t like that at all and he wanted you to know how he strung you along all just for a quick fuck in the beginning and to cover his tracks he acted like he cared in getting to know you afterwards not realizing something purely good could come out of it for him. The confession wasn’t meant to hurt you again, but for you to realize your worth. He messed up with someone so special.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I remembered you from years before when you tripped in front of me,” there’s a small trace of happiness in the fond memory, “...and when I saw you in the crowd that night, fuck you looked so good and you still do…” he ended up a flustered mess after that small admission.

“Where is this going?” You ask hoping he’d get back on track and reveal the rest, trying to keep the fact he admitted an attraction to you in the back of your mind.

“Right...I’ll admit my ego got the best of me. The band was doing so well, everyone noticed us! I was getting attention from all kinds of people! I got hooked to different things,” suppose those articles were true then about him getting clean, you thought to yourself, “...it does get lonely on the road and I was so desperate for anyone,” oh you hoped and prayed he wouldn’t say what he was going to say next, but he does, “...and I knew there wouldn’t be that much effort on my part to get you to sleep with me.”

Great. Your friend was right then, and he was just like any other house name artist.

“Um...okay, that’s not something I was wanting to hear about myself,” you said after letting that sink in. Did you still appear to look easy?

“No, I’m sure it’s not, but when we were alone together everything was just easy-”

“Yeah, I got that. I’m easy!” You interrupt, and now you’re angry. As he’s trying to explain his actions, you started thinking about how mad and hurt you were when he started ghosting you. You couldn’t be upset about him getting a girlfriend, but the fact that he didn’t think he could continue even being your friend and instead just chose to ignore you was the better option was hella annoying.

“That’s not what I meant!” He says trying to justify his choice of words.

“Then how did you mean it?” You demand, and Bucky is a bit stunned with your new attitude. He foresaw that he would have a difficult time in explaining himself, but he didn’t think it’d be this hard dealing with how much his actions affected you.

“Everything was easy with you because you made it easy to feel,”

“I don’t know if I understand,” you say and attempt to get up, “...maybe this was a bad idea.”

“No, please. Let me finish,” Bucky is quick to get in front of you as he pleads for you to stay. You give him a slight nod and sit back down.

“Things with you were easy in a sense that being around you I was able to just be myself. I’ve never said those things to girls before you! I didn’t have to impress you with anything flashy. I even forgot I was some rockstar! You’re an incredible person, really-”

“I’m sorry, Bucky, but I just can’t,” you say, hating to interrupt him again, but you’re not ready to hear any of this, “...none of this still doesn’t sound right. It was just one night and then how do you explain just ghosting me the moment you get a supermodel girlfriend?” that last part came out unintentionally feisty but might as well let him know how you’d felt, “You couldn’t even be my friend when you were with her! I guess it was easy to just forget me too…”

Bucky lowers his head ashamed of how he handled that and just nods in acknowledgement of his actions, “you’re right. It doesn’t make sense, but what I feel is even harder to explain...”

“None of this accounts for her,” you demand. A part of you just wanted to know where she came from. How did it happen? Who asked who out? It wasn’t important information to know about, but the urge of human curiosity was large.

“She wasn’t even my idea,” he muttered, not really wanting to talk about her.

“What?” You ask.

“Getting with her was the label’s idea,” he admits, hating he was coerced into the idea of an on-screen relationship.

You scoff at the stupidity of fake relationships in the Entertainment industry. Why did people get their rocks off over it? Were OTPs really that a big deal? Are people so bored with their own lives that they have to push corporate into bringing two people who don't have feelings for each other together? However, Bucky thinks you don’t believe him and given how little you developed in trusting him with things, he’s not entirely wrong.

“I know it was a dumb thing to agree to and it’s one of the horrors working in this business, but I know now I should’ve just been forward with you,” Bucky says, voice still riddled begging for forgiveness.

“Why couldn’t you then?” You interrogate and notice the creases of distress on his face soften. “If I made it so easy to feel, then why wasn’t it just that to tell me the truth?”

“I-I don’t know,” he replies.

“Yes, you do,” you retort, and pretend you’re going to leave, but by doing so you know it’ll only get him to spill the beans quicker.

“I was scared!” He admits, stepping in front of you and keeping you still in your place on the end of the bed.

“Scared? Of what? Me?” You ask incredulously looking up at him.

“Yes!” He says and kneels down in front of you. “You’re so perfect! You’re real! You don’t treat me like I’m some celebrity. You didn’t even participate when people started cancelling me or whatever! You could’ve and you had every right to expose me, but you didn’t!” Your act did the trick, because the words just kept coming out of Bucky.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring you, for not telling you I was with her, but the more I got to know you, a part of me got really scared that I couldn’t keep being the kind of man you deserved because of my problems,” by this point, Bucky has placed both his hands on either side of you, his arms trapping you, “...trust me, I had a lot of time to think about everything I did wrong and what harm my reckless lifestyle has on others…I just feared it was already too late, but the one thing that I always thought about that helped me get through it was the lone night I had with you. I was so happy! I wanted that again...I had to get back to that, so I invited you back to try,” you didn’t even realize how close his face was to yours. He looked so torn and you hated seeing him like that, but there was nothing you could say that could fix things right now.

Bucky now felt vulnerable and almost pathetic. Just because he wanted another shot of happiness, and with you of all people, what made it okay for him to think you wanted to try again? You weren’t so certain of what you wanted with him anymore.

“Wow,” is all you give. You’re not sure what more you could add. After all that, he actually liked you? Were you still sure you weren’t living in some fanfic world? You needed some time to think about that and much to Bucky’s expectations, you weren’t going to come to a conclusion before you left this room tonight.

“Is there anything else you want to say?” You offer him the floor, and he gets it. You’re not going to say anything particular to his confession, at least not now. He’s not upset at all. It was a lot to take in. He had time to think, and he had to respect the time you’d need now.

He nods and backs away, realizing the close proximity, “just one question,” you nod this time and let him ask, “do you regret it?”

You know what he’s referring to, sleeping with him, the sex tape, the countless conversations, meeting with him right now - everything.

“No,” you answer honestly.

He lets out a weak smile, looking down sheepishly and adds, “I’ve never done anything like this with anyone before, I promise.”

He could promise and swear up and down all he’d like, but how could you be really sure? The only response you could give him is a small, neutral hum in acknowledgement.

Bucky knew this conversation wasn’t going to go as he had hoped. He really didn’t have a plan, he just really wanted to see you again. He goes silent and you know at this point, everything was all laid out. Time would tell the rest if this was worth saving.

“I can forgive you. I know I can because in a way part of moving on allows one to do so but completing a session or doing time in rehab doesn’t really prove anything,” you said brutally honest with him, he looks up at you almost defeated and just waiting for the final blow.

“You said a lot of promising things back then and you said a lot more tonight,” you add on, and gently begin to remove his hands from the spots either side of you to let you free, and get up to head out, however not with one more thing he could reflect on, also giving him hope, “...you need to show you’ve really changed,” then the conversation was over.

In some ways, these events needed to happen. He had to hit rock bottom to learn from his mistakes and kick out the bad habit. He knew now that he had to work hard to give you a reason to trust him and maybe even in the long run be with him.

On the other hand, you had to go through this whole thing in order to not base your happiness on someone else. You could be happy on your own and open enough to be with someone that wasn’t Bucky.

For the next few months, to your surprise, Bucky had actually made an effort to keep in touch with you. It wasn’t overbearing and he minded your space as well as he could from a distance, given that he was still busy with the band and other duties that came with his status.

While at times he could be flirty, you learned it was part of his charm. Your friend wasn’t entirely thrilled when you’d admitted to her that you visited Bucky that night. You might’ve not shown it, but she knew how much his past actions affected you. Granted it did its job in teaching you a lesson and in return allowed you to be more confident and to not take anyone’s bullshit, she’d be damned if Bucky tried to pull another act like that around you again.

By now, you were comfortable enough with him to even tell him about random dates you’d gone on; none proving to be long-term, but it was nice to confide in someone else other than your best friend and get an opinion from a male perspective.

You weren’t going to lie, there was a part of you that still liked Bucky more than a friend, but you weren’t sure when it was okay to willingly go all in again with him. Sure, you’d given him another chance, but just how low could people really go to get what they wanted? Some people could just be really manipulative, and you weren’t wanting to ruin what you’ve both rebuilt for yourselves. Either way, you’d be happy with him in your life even as a friend, which is how it could’ve gone if he’d been honest from the get-go.

The year was coming to a close and you’re at your job’s annual Christmas party. You’d managed to convince your friend to be your plus one, but she claimed she didn’t need bribery because your company always ordered outstanding catering and who in their right mind would turn down free food anyways?

Aside from pretending you were having a great time talking to your co-workers, most of which whom you barely spoke to at the office and as faux-friendly as they were tonight, you felt stupid for glancing at your phone every now and then hoping to get a message from Bucky. He’d been keeping you entertained the first half of the party until he just stopped responding.

Your friend had ditched you to take advantage of the open bar several minutes ago, so you were sitting at a table alone trying not to look pathetic. You started thinking of when an appropriate time would be to leave when the Market Manager of your job took the mic. Too late, you thought to yourself and decided to get comfortable in your seat and listened to what cheesy Holiday speech they had to give, but what you hadn’t expected was a surprise guest.

“What the hell?” You said to yourself as you watched Bucky, Steve and Sam shake hands with one of your bosses before settling into what would appear as an acoustic performance.

How’d they manage to get in contact with your job? Who gave them the in? Bucky knew what you did for a living, but you never stayed on that subject long enough to think much about it. Then your friend slides into the empty seat next to you, a drink in one hand and a knowingly smirk on her lips, one that suggests she was definitely in on this act. You didn’t realize how long you’d been staring at her with a stupid look of disbelief all over your face until your name is echoed throughout the speakers.

It snaps you out of your trance and you focus your attention to Bucky on stage, a huge smile on his face. All formalities set aside, he highlights you and your friendship before jumping into their new single, which was widely popular right now. Normally, you weren’t one to take compliments easily, not used to so much attention, but the whole world disappeared with Bucky.

Once their little set was over, the majority of your colleagues enjoyed the performance and asked for photos, to which the guys were more than happy to appease to. Your friend had managed to escape your clutches once more, this time abandoning you for the dessert table. You’re not alone for long as Bucky occupies the seat left open next to you. You look around your surroundings, hoping there aren’t any more surprises in store, and practically attack him with a big hug.

Bucky’s chuckle is muffled, his face buried in your hair, as he wraps his arms around you to return the gesture. When you pull away, you’re almost left speechless, but you’re dying to know how he managed to get here. He was technically still on tour and this was not one of the passing by cities.

“How?” You ask.

“Hi to you too,” he said with a cheeky grin, to which you playfully slap his arm, and he responds with your friend’s name. He explained how he’d wanted to see you and how much he had to grovel for your friend to trust him. She’d helped him arrange a meeting with your boss, who turned out to be a huge fan of The Avengers, and even sneak them inside the building all under your nose. She wasn’t easy to persuade, but if she was convinced enough to work with Bucky on anything then you knew this meant something more.

The initial notion of wanting to leave the party immediately vanished and you wanted nothing more than to just sit there in Bucky’s company all night. Steve and Sam greeted you and you never realized that this was actually the first time meeting them formally and not outside of a venue. They weren’t rockstars to you any more than you were just a fan to them. They were Bucky’s friends, of course he’d confined to them on his end as much as you did with yours.

At some point they had excused themselves to catch the last flight headed back to Brooklyn, but Bucky had decided to stay longer. When it was time to leave, you found out Bucky hadn’t planned long enough to where he would stay the night in your city. The original plan was to fly back home with the guys and pick up on the remainder of the tour. They had a few days off, but it was just a few days shy of ending, and he couldn’t wait that long to see you.

It’s funny how life works because this time you’re the one inviting him to your place. You weren’t going to blame it on the open bar or how late it was or the underlying tension that was surrounding you two, but one thing was certain, it was mutual, and you both weren’t going to deny the attraction any longer.

You’d missed the weight of Bucky’s body on yours more than you’d realized as your hands held his face, keeping his lips attached to yours. You could taste the remnants of the unfinished drink he’d abandoned at the coffee table on his tongue. Bucky’s hands hiked your leg over his waist to get you to lie flat on your couch.

You’re the first to attempt to remove clothing by popping open the buttons of his button-up shirt before completely ridding of the item leaving him in his thin undershirt. You feel his hands slide up from your hips along your back as they dig into the minimal space the arch of your back had created for him to slowly unzip the back of your dress. With your lips both still attached, you manage to sit up, your dress falling down and bunching at the waist in the process, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t have picked a more perfect time to see you in an outfit that would not work with a bra.

Bucky curses breathlessly when he pulls his lips away from yours for a quick breather, but in the process, he takes a peek at your half naked body. You can tell he’s just itching to touch you and you take the commanding lead and place his hands on you. The atmosphere grows thicker, him kneading your breasts, you smash your lips on his in a sloppy lock.

You push Bucky down on his end of the couch and manage to kick your loose dress all the way down your legs and off your body. Bucky’s hands travel down to the curve of your ass before he grabs a handful of flesh, causing you to moan into the kiss. Your hands rake through his styled hair, the product he used unstiffening and his hair falls limp in your grasps.

Bucky’s hands started to aid your hips in moving roughly against his clothed member, desperate to relieve some friction, and you internally blushed remembering how thick he was, how full it felt to have his cock stuffed inside of you. You didn’t remain celibate during the hiatus of your relationship, you both had urges, but Bucky had really ruined others that came after him.

Your lips drifted down Bucky’s body, kissing at the skin of his chest in the pattern following the swoop-line seam of the undershirt that he was still wearing. You skipped the expanse of his toned stomach, until you’re met with the small amount of skin that peeked between his bottoms and hem of his undershirt. You slightly lift the material up and place small pecks at his lower abdomen, which causes a low groan to rumble in Bucky’s throat.

Your fingers deftly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, with the zipper pulled apart, you’re marveling at the imprint of his hard cock, already twitching and staining his boxers. You manage to break your gaze and look up at Bucky, who is desperately pleading with you to proceed. Your eyes never leave his as you lower your head closer to his member, tongue darting out to the dark spot of his boxers, tasting the precum.

The contact causes him to squirm and lips form in a tight line. You pull down his pants and agonizingly peel off his boxers slowly, dragging it down to his thighs, just enough to expose him enough for you to work with before you wrap a hand around his length. Bucky’s upper body is supported by his bent elbows so he could watch you.

You kiss the tip of his leaking cock, a small string of his precum sticking to your lips when you pull back, to which you run your tongue over. Bucky’s head falls back just in time when your lips enclose the head, tongue twirling around the ridge and teasingly at the slit and loving the sound of his breath getting caught in his throat. You inch your mouth down his length and your vacant hand gets quick to work on what you’re not able to intake while the other runs up his exposed abdomen, your fingers curling in and lightly scratching down as it runs down to massage one of his thighs. You can feel the muscle in his thigh flex at your touch the more your head bobs up and down on him.

A plethora of curses spew from his mouth, but the rush of sucking his cock, the gurgling of your spit mixed with his precum and occasional choking noise when your throat contracts around him, is all you can hear from your perspective. When you part from his member, you’re breathing intensifies, desperate for more air to enter your system, eyes slightly watering, lips swollen, your hand lazily slathering the wetness all over him.

“You’re so good at that,” Bucky comments and he finally manages to pick his head back up to look at you. He reaches forward to swipe at the mess on the corner of your chin, but you’re hungry for more, and you move your head to the side to suck on his thumb, eyes closed as you hum at the taste of his skin and essence.

Your soft tongue running against the pad of his somewhat calloused thumb, it pops lightly when you release the digit, a small, devious smile on your lips as you scoot away to lie on the other end of the couch. He’s almost at aghast by this, but even back then you were just always full of surprises around him and he wasn’t going to deny the appeal of your sexual allure.

Bucky is quick to get to your side, completely riding himself off the rest of his clothes - the undershirt, pants and boxers - he had dressed to impress but right now nothing more than but overdressed. He gently parts your legs, kissing up your calves and thighs, until settles between them, you can feel his warm breath fanning against your scantily covered core.

Unlike last time, you’re not afraid to watch him and he sends you a knowingly wink, quickly ascending up to give you a sweet kiss, while his fingers slip inside your panties and between your lips. Your hips eagerly thrust upwards hoping his fingers slip in.

“Baby, we got all night,” he says cradling your face in his other hand. You let out a small whine, but regardless attempt to be patient. Bucky studies your face, mesmerized by every structure and unique feature, then what felt like an eternity, but in reality, was only a few seconds, he sinks a finger inside your wet pussy.

As soon as the gasp leaves your lips, his lips swoop in and tongue instantly dipping in search of yours. The heated kiss only heightens the sensation in the pit of your stomach, your hips losing control and every buck up into his hand, your clit rubs up against his palm, invigorating it. The curl of his finger, lightly probs at the right spot inside you, you uncontrollably squeal against his lips, with a hand against his chest you gently push his body away from yours.

“Oh my God! Fuck, Bucky…” you say with your head tilting back to the curve of the couch’s arm. You feel Bucky’s lips kiss and suck at your exposed neck as his fingers continue their handy work, the lewd noises causing your eyes to roll back.

His lips find their way next to your ear, gently nipping at it, and you could just drown at the sound of his husky breathing and filthy words. “Can I taste you?” He asks. You’re not sure why he was asking, you’d want nothing less. You nod almost instantaneously before allowing him to remove your panties.

Bucky’s hungry eyes remain fixated on your glistening core, “oh, I missed this pussy,” he comments before his tongue fondles the lips. He has a hand lying flat against one of your legs, pressed on the couch to keep them spread apart, the other blocked by his body. His routine contrasts his old with how his tongue moves in slow and calculated laps. His mouth was very talented, given whatever style he chose to play.

You’re tethering on an orgasm and Bucky wanted nothing more than to watch you come undone for him. Bucky’s fingers and tongue work in tandem and fast to help you reach a climax.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Bucky manages to ask in between, eyes peering up at you. You don’t actually answer because you can’t concentrate from the pleasure he’s bestowing and the impending release. “Good. I want you to cum. I want all this pussy has to give,” his voice hitting a different low, even his fucking voice was so sexy. Your hands clutch on fistfuls of the couch cushions when you feel the first wave of pleasure wash over your body, your hips stilled in place as Bucky laps up at your arousal.

“The sweetest thing ever,” Bucky mutters mostly to himself, but hearing that comment only feeds your ego, which never is a bad thing in an intimate setting. Your chest heaves up and down from the impact. Just as Bucky is about to crawl back up to parallel, you stop him with a foot at his chest. He grabs your small foot in his hand and blinks at your resistance.

“Sit back,” you command. He drops your foot and watches as your body maneuvers around to climb over his. He didn’t even realize his body had complied to your demand, absolutely hypnotized by you.

You lean in for a deep kiss, one that leaves his brain a mush, yours too almost that you have to steady yourself with one hand on the couch armrest. You reach a hand down between your bodies and grab a hold of his hard cock. Your fingers tracing along the vein before you start rubbing his head through your sensitive, wet folds. Bucky’s hands lay lightly on your hips, trying with all his might to not force you to take him all the way in. A large part of him liked this dominant side of you. There was so much about you he was dying to unearth.

“Baby, please…” he begins pleading as you barely press the tip of his cock just at your entrance before you slowly lower your body down to engulf his entire length. You sit still once you’re sure you’ve bottomed out, not noticing Bucky’s fingers digging into your hips, sure enough to leave crescent marks and tiny bruises.

Bucky’s face is buried in your neck, your cheek pressed against the top of his head, lost in the mop of dark hair. You feel his cock twitch inside of you causing your hips to ground on his. He was in so deep, you weren’t sure how long you were going to last in this position, but you’d be damned if you denied it.

You start with slow swivels before sliding back and forth on his cock. Bucky’s hands released their death grip from your hips, one travelled to the front to grope at your breasts while the other supported your body settling itself on the small of your back. Your hands set themselves on the back of the couch on either side of his head, using it as leverage to ground down harder on him.

“Mm, I missed fucking this big cock,” you lean down to whisper right in his ear, “you’re so deep, Bucky.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he spits out curse after curse at your dirty words. “You gonna cum on this big cock, hmm?” He asks. The question comes as a challenge and you weren’t ready to give up the ropes to him.

“Yeah, is this big cock gonna cum inside this tight pussy?” You counter the question, speeding up your gyrations until you start to feel the burn in your thighs and stomach begin to twist. He lets out a low, long growl, his eyes lulling shut and head falling back against the couch, ready to succumb to euphoria.

“No,” you say, suddenly ceasing all movements to pull at his hair. The sharp pain in his scalp causes his eyes to snap open and look up at you. “Keep your eyes on me,” you command much like how he did with you the first time. You watch him swallow the knot in his throat and give him a wicked smile before picking back up where you left off.

Your hands are sprawled on his sweaty chest as you bounce up and down his length. Bucky’s senses are on overdrive, the way your pussy naturally hugs his cock, walls squeezing occasionally, your breasts swaying right in front of him, your skin shining from the layer of sweat coating your body, and the look of immense pleasure written all over your face because of him.

“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he says over and over as some form of warning, hoping you’re not far behind.

The way his face contorted in ecstasy, lips parted, sweat building up on his forehead, the tip of his cock stabbing at your sweet spot, you were about to cum too. His words become a muffled mess when you attempt to silence him with a bruising kiss just as you reach your high, pussy clenching tight around his cock milking him of everything he’s got. Each spurt of his hot cum that shoots inside you causes your hips to stutter in response. Bucky attempts to keep them at bay with a hand pressed against your back, keeping your body close to him and in the process also instilling his seed is rooted deep inside of you.

“God...damn,” Bucky says short of breath when your body lies limp against his. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, you haven’t attempted to move just yet as you both sat there with his cock still buried in. When you manage to sit up, you stare back at Bucky with tired eyes, but there’s a smile on both your faces. It only slightly falters at his next words.

“I love you,” he says earnestly. Thankfully your silence doesn’t bother him, “...you don’t have to say it back,” he adds, “I just wanted you to know. You’re so special,” he proclaims and your heart leaps at the very admission. You only nod for now but give him another reassuring smile because in time you knew you could allow yourself to love Bucky and be loved by him in return. It wasn’t a conventional meeting, but this was your life, not everyone else's.

When you finally manage to pull yourself off his cock, it slips out fluidly with a trail of his cum following in suit. You knew you’d curse yourself later on, but you’re both too tired to clean the mess right now. The pair of you settle into a lying position, facing one another, encased in each other’s arms. It’s a moment of bliss as you both just lie there, his eyes closed and a smile seemingly permanently etched on his face, only around you.

“Hey Bucky,” you pipe up breaking the silence. He hums in response, “I want to know something...” you start out with.

“Anything,” he says, eyes still closed, his hand running up and down your arm, an indicator that he’s present and listening.

“What happened between you two?” Curiosity getting the best of you once more, you’re hoping this doesn’t ruin the moment, but you had to know. What went wrong? Besides, if this was going to work, he was going to have to be honest.

“Uh, she saw something on my phone…” he said cautiously, “...that involved you.” Your eyes widen at that. It couldn’t have been the sex tape you hoped.

“Bucky, no!” You gasp, sitting up and just hoping he doesn’t confirm it.

“Relax!” He says pulling you back down with him, “She was psycho. She went through my texts and saw some of the photos we used to send to each other. She must’ve thought they were recent.” He explains like it was no big deal.

Your heart stops racing slightly, you’re a bit relieved that she didn’t go as far as posting any of the photos on the Internet. You knew you were risking it by sexting with Bucky, but what was that saying? Hell hath no fury…and in a blind rage, she lashed out only on Bucky, but if she was a psycho, who knows what else she might’ve found on Bucky’s phone.

“Bucky?” you figure you might as well know now.

“Yeah…”

“What did you do with that sex tape?” You’d been dying to know if it was safely stored away or if maybe he even still watched it or just deleted it.

A big toothy grin spreads across his lips, his pearly whites on full display as he laughs at the question before he reaches over to the table next to the couch, where his cell phone rested on.

“Want to make a sequel?” He asks suggestively with a smirk on his lips and waving his phone at you, to which you playfully attempt to snatch from his grasp. He’s too quick, but nonetheless he replaces the phone in its original spot before focusing his attention on you alone.

“You don’t think this is all weird?” He questions almost hesitantly while tracing the outline of your jaw delicately. You’re not thinking that at all. You’d both been through a lot during the last few years that the only thing that was normal now was what you both had.

You shake your head in response, too tired for words, and drowning in the blissful moment. Bucky nods before declaring, “good because you make so happy,” then ending the night with sweet kisses.

“Hey, it’s me. I know you’re busy at the studio today...” you start, cell phone pressed against your ear. You’re attempting to leave a voicemail to your boyfriend, who was expecting your arrival later that day, “...but I just wanted to assure you that this isn’t weird, and I can’t wait to see you...I love you, Bucky,” you finish up the message and stuff the device into your bag just in time to hear the voice of the airline staff making the pre-boarding announcements booming loudly from the speakers.

Now boarding Group B for flight #107 to JFK Airport...final destination Brooklyn, New York.

A/N: We’ve been in quarantine for so long, I don’t remember how airport announcements are like anymore and I was only in Brooklyn last Spring…RIP to the good times.

A happy ending was weird to write in the end and I actually don’t like this particular Bucky so it could’ve gone really bad, but I said to myself, no, not this time, I can do what the title says and let them be just that - happy. I too can be happy if you give this a like, reblog or comment! Thanks for reading!

#mrwinterr writes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #rockstar!bucky barnes #rockstar!bucky #rockstar!au #bucky barnes #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fanfic #so happy

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queentexxx · 2 years

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self indulgent stoic, villain/problematic comfort character and/or f/o imagine because I've been kinda stressed out tonight and also why the fck not? (this was entirely self-indulgent stress relief so um,, don't expect it to be too good lmao)

C/TW for mentions of stress, physical touch, and one l-bomb dropped at the end (can be interpreted as completely platonic and/or familial too, just throwing it out there that an l-bomb gets dropped lol)

...

It's been a long night. Whether or not the circumstances were a big deal or not didn't matter. One thing was clear; you were stressed.

It took all you had just to hurl your tense, adrenaline-ridden body there, but you're finally home. You feel like you want to vomit, curl up and maybe even cry on the floor right next to the door, but ever-so-resilient, you resist that urge and walk down the corridors of your home, hanging up your coat.

"Welcome home," you hear a rich, deep voice call, making you flinch. Recollecting yourself, you approach the voice's owner, slouched over and rubbing your forearm in shame. "hey..." you mutter, taking your seat next to them. Scooting over closer to them, until your shoulders touch, at least they're here now. Ironic how despite their cold and uncaring demeanor on the surface and the pure extent of the deeds they have commited with their own two hands, they have become such a crucial source of comfort for you. You saw what nobody else saw in them, and they saw what nobody else saw in you.

Noticing the tension in your shoulders and the shaking in your legs, they cock an eyebrow. "Is everything okay?" They ask you, the knot in your hollowed chest tightening as well as the rest of your muscles. Under any other circumstances, you probably would've just muttered that you were fine and wandered off, but this time, it was different. Maybe it was the fact that they came off as so cold and unempathetic to everyone else, maybe it was a feeling of truly being special to them, but something just, made you want to open up and pour out all of your emotions to them. You couldn't find the words however, and all you could do was stammer and ramble into their shoulder.

"I.. I guess so? I'm not.. sure... I just.. I dunno man, I've just been so stressed out and-" before you could finish your own string of barely coherent thoughts, you sigh, gripping into the cloth wrapping their shoulders and nuzzling into their neck, your breathing simultaneously shallowing and deepening and hot loads of adrenaline flood your veins.

"I'm tired... I wanna go to bed..." is all you can manage to say, your spine arching as you wrap your arms around their neck and shoulders. You can feel a sense of hesitation with them, they prpbably weren't used to this kind of situation, but nevertheless, they tried to help. You feel a hand pet at your hair, as you're suddenly lifted up bridal-syle. You close your eyes, your vision going blissfully black for a moment of time, cold, larger hands on your back and legs ironically providing you with a sense of warmth.

Your eyes flutter open as you feel the soft, warm embrace of your bed, as you're tucked in like a child, a cold hand tousling your hair. "You're here." they say, as warmth begins to radiate under your blankets. Barely able to keep your eyes open, you notice the blur of their colors start to walk away. "Wait..." you muster the strentgh to say, as the sillohette stops in place. "please... stay with me.. just a little while longer..." you murmur, as they come back to you, sitting next to you on the bed and holding your hand, stroking the back with their thumb. You hesitate for a moment, but then you ask them, "can you lay next to me?" You see them wait for a bit, but then they sigh and you could've sworn that you'd seen a small smile across their lips as they lie down next to you, letting you wrap your arms aroun them, as they hesitantly wrap their around you. Your family issues, your conflicts between friends, your grades, everything, it all disintegrates into thin air as their embrace engulfs you, leaving you in a numb state of bliss. The tension in your chest releases, the shaking in your limbs comes to a stop in their arms, instead replaced by serenity. Nothing else exists, nothing else matters in the moment, and all that's left is the souls of you and this stoic being as you feel yourself temporarily slide out of consciousness in their arms.

"I love you..." you whisper, a small tear rolling down your cheek.

"I love you too..."

#selfship #comfort character #selfship imagines #comfort character imagines #pro ship safe #proship #anti anti #antis dni #stress relief

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cryptiql · 3 years

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untitled god song

pairing: bakugou/m!reader (trans reader in mind you can see it if you squint but can also be read as cis)

words: 2k

warnings: themes of religious trauma, homophobia, mentions of blood, the author projecting their mommy issues

a/n: this is purely self indulgent, don't mind me 😩✋ (written in first person)

i wish i had known him before the pain started. perhaps it is a fools dream to think that his presence would have solved anything, and it is likely that he might blown me sky high at the time, if given the chance, but i often ponder his place in my narrative. he is nothing less than a king—nay, a god—and what else am i to be except his humble servant, adoring him in the only way i've been taught?

i would bruise my knees as i kneel for him, and should he turn me away, i shall be lost and without purpose. but he does not, and instead, he snorts out a laugh and pulls me to my feet, roughly squeezing my cheeks together with a shit-eating grin. he'll tell me a joke i've heard a thousand times, and yet i laugh with him anyways, the pads of my fingers idly tapping the pulse on his wrists.

"dumbass, at least take me out to dinner first."

i never thought i'd ache to hear such a demeaning nickname, but it's like birdsong to my ears, and i long for the myriad of butterflies it provokes.

i would heed his every word like a faithful disciple, and—if i knew he would not use this power for the wrong reasons—carry it out without question. he'll roll his eyes at the notion, far too prideful at the idea of being praised, and card hands through my hair, gripping softly. "right. and if i told you to go to bed before five in the morning, would you listen?"

my smiles are genuine, as they all are with him.

"no." i wish my mother had been more open-minded; more loving to those she claimed were goners. maybe then, i could still call her my mother, and not a snarled version of her first name steeped in vinegar. maybe she could have met him, and maybe she would have keeled over in the process, but that is how we put it "killing two birds with one stone".

he was a fallen angel if ever i saw one—emblazoned in smog and ravenous inferno, the pieces of child-like innocence turning to ash. something happened to him when he was a kid, just as all gifted children, and oh, what a fool i was to let my gaze dawdle on his gorgeous form. but i will never regret it—no, not ever—for there is no such feeling that can compare to his eyes on mine, burning with a mind-fogging intensity.

it was instantaneous, the moment my thoughts turned on me with malicious intent, her voice ringing out like a gunshot.

you'll never be him.

his hand slots with mine perfectly; deliciously warm and comforting in a way i haven't felt in years; and hauls me up, the flecks of dirt and rubble from the road clinging to my jeans.

"watch it, pretty boy. i won't always be here to save you, y'know."

my heart batters against my ribs like a caged bird, screeching and wailing to be set free, and i wonder in a haze if i've died. judgement day must have come early, i think, not realizing that it was spoken aloud until the blonde quirks a brow inquisitively. he does not speak on the matter, but continues on his merry way, leaving my helpless; hopelessly enamored; and praying that we will meet again.

no, i could never be him. but i am like him. he has a sureness in his walk and fervor in the way he talks that is only recognizable when i look in the mirror. and we do meet again. it is a shame, however, that i must burden him with the weight of my past. i remember too often the troubles of my youth, even when all has passed into fleeting memories that haunt me as ghosts do to an abandoned house. yet, i still live in this house, and the ghosts are here to keep me company.

i remember the church, first and foremost; nestled between the barren country road and the outback; a beacon of hope to all those who stood in its doors. the luster of freshly polished wood still sits in my mind, accompanied by the echoing remnants of dulcet tones and multicolored bands of light, glaring from the stained glass windows and dancing across the musty carpet floor. the doddering pews were just as uncomfortable as the poorly padded chairs squatting in the front row, but every sunday, they were filled to the brim with hungry worshippers. they sang praise as though they were starved, but i was too young to understand for what. i am older now, and i still don't understand. all i know is that despite its reputation, the church was a cursed place, and i should never set foot in it again lest i go mad. i remember the creaking stairs which lead downstairs, and the winding halls that reeked of torment where shadows loomed. the paint was corroding and foul, and my conscious always loitered too long on the merlot stain on the ceiling; its origin unknown, but nevertheless urging my stomach to twist with nausea.

i remember the feeling of tall grass grazing my ankles; itching horribly from the old moth-eaten socks i was forced to wear. it had become second nature—running and hiding from my problems, from the church, from her. i shall never know a greater animosity than the likes that my mother encouraged, although unintentionally, with her pressuring views and sickeningly sweet smile. it's fake, and i would know, because ours are the same.

we are too similar, and i am sickened by the fact. will i become the wretched woman she is? will i fail to be the father i've dreamt of being? it is an easy thing to fall prey to haunting questions, and it serves as brain rot for every moment of silence that leaves me clawing at my skin, trying to reap the memory of her touch. then i began to think—about nothing and everything—and it does not stop. i will be kind; unforgivingly so, and without biased judgement; like my mother never was, and i'll make her hate me for it. i will grow in leaps and bounds, not for her sake or for god's, but for mine, as it always should have been. i will drink and curse with reckless abandon and kiss who i damn well please, because in no life does she have have the power to make me something i'm not. why should i feel sorry when the tears she wept were forged by my own blood; by the childhood memories locked away to rot in my subconscious? yes, she has suffered too, but it is through clenched teeth and raw-bitten lips that i must confess this, for her suffering was born in me and grew from a seedling into a thorned flower, nourished by her hatred and mine. she'll tell me the lie of all mothers before her: that she knows best, and i'll never know joy that is not from my savior's gracious hands.

one day, when she lies not with words but in silence, under worm-filled earth and withering pastures, i'll tell her that she was right. i'll tell her, with his hand in mine, that my savior arrived with hellfire in his eyes and fury unrelenting. his tongue holds venom that would make the devil blush, but he tastes of a sinful sweetness that i've drowned in more times than i care to count.

mother you should know, my god is like no other. he has a broad chest and muscles, i attest, that are sculpted like fine marble and smooth to the test.

my god is a man who loves other men, unashamedly; in all that is true; and kisses me like real people do. and i know it sounds silly, and a bit cliché, and he'd surely make a mockery of me if ever he heard, but i love him. i love him as passionately as you she does lord above, and it is a crime in itself how much i crave him, so yes, i will burn for this—not because my mother said so or by the ancient script that foretells it, but because i promise it. i promise to let neither hell or high water deter me from that which gives me life, and i'll do so with a ring.

"you hear that mom?" i'll whisper in the dead of night, his body flushed against mine in the most delightful way; his fingers curled into my nightshirt, pulling me closer as listless mumbles fall from his parted lips. he is dead to the world amid his dream ridden stupor, but still leans into my touch when i smooth back the wild tufts of hair to kiss his forehead.

"i'm gonna marry him." part of me wishes she didn't live on the other side of the planet, just so i could rub it in her face, but i won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me again. i won't let her think she's won, because i know, and katsuki knows, that he and i are one in the same.

i do not know who i should thank for my stubbornness, be it my mother or my father, so i will thank the pain they both caused me, for it made me stronger than they ever could. no, i did not become a better person, because the scars have yet to heal from how deep they cut, and the smell of blood still lingers, and i am angrier than i once was, but i cherish my wounds. the stench of my agony has long since been subdued, and i have learned to swallow the sickness it evokes. and yes, this anger is unhealthy and i've chosen not to purge it from my mind like the weed it is, but how lucky am i to have found one whose malice rivals my own?

the tales of his glory have littered my notebooks in smudged ink. you would hate him, is scrawled messily on the last page, but i only feel giddy with excitement. you would hate him for his spite and his unapologetic behavior, and that is why he's perfect. he's everything you hate about this world, but everything i love.

so when she gets to heaven and asks the angels "why?", they'll tell her it was him who made the devil cry. him, who held me like she should have—could have, if she hadn't terrified me—and who chased the nightmarish visions of her from my weary mind with his callous palms and soft-spoken reassurances. i wish i had known him when we were young; when things were not so simple and i needed a hand to hold; but i suppose we'll have to settle for faded photographs and stories told through the bitter aroma of alcohol. that's more than enough, i muse to myself, legs hooked over his as i rest my head on his shoulder, keening softly at the gentle scrape of his nails on my scalp. his arms wind around my waist as he mutters something along the lines of "i love you", his lips curling into a smile, illuminated by the televisions glow.

so when they ask of my religion, i will think of only him. i will recall the way he looks at me, the sound of my name on his tongue, the feeling of his lips trailing between the valley of my breast; featherlight, cautious and unfitting for a man of his nature. i've written songs of praise, all dedicated to him, and if only he knew, oh how smug he would be. but i love him, i love him, i love him. and when he spins me around like a marionette, it is with overwhelming pride and joy that i tell him this, and with rose hued cheeks and bashful grumbles, he tells me the same. so mother, wherever you are, i hope you know i've found my god.

#💥.katsuki #bakugou x trans reader #bakugou x trans male reader #bakugou x male reader #katsuki bakugou x male reader #male reader insert #mha x male reader #boku no hero x reader #bakugou x you #trans reader

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seijorhi · 4 years

Note

Hi, found your work. You do great writing the characters so well. If I may request an Aizawa story. He's had his kidnapped darling for a while and she's been "good",but he has doubts so he starts to "test" her to see if she would run; like leaving a window or door unlocked and he watches her to see if she really stays or takes the chance to leave him. Meanwhile, darling does notice all this but she's not sure what to do. Sorry if this is long, but I think it could be interesting.

Of course, bby!

TW Stockholm syndrome, implied non-con, captive reader

Shouta Aizawa x female reader

Little Bird

It shouldn’t bother you as much as it does.

There’s no reason that the sight of an open window should make you feel anything, much less the quiet unease that’s been slowly gnawing at you since morning.

It’s a warm day, the lingering summer heat more oppressive than usual, yet instead of turning on the AC as he usually does, Shouta chose instead to crack the window. A small, thoughtless gesture. You hadn’t even noticed until halfway through the late breakfast he’d painstakingly prepared for you, you’d felt the cool breeze tickle your skin, gently ruffling your feathered wings.

It was nice. A soothing balm against the building heat of the day. Your eyes had fallen shut, a soft, sleepy smile crossing your face, and for one perfect moment, you’d let yourself enjoy it.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt it, the breath of fresh air kissing at your feathers.

Because you didn’t fly anymore.

He didn’t want you needlessly risking yourself like that.

Because the windows were always shut.

Locked.

Because it was safer that way. Just like the padlocked front door with all of its chains - all the extra precautions were solely for the sake of your protection.

You knew this. You understood it.

So why did the sight of an open window make your heart seize, your breath stutter?

You hadn’t even heard him come up behind you, so caught up in the rush of… what exactly? Emotions? Your thoughts? The slow unease creeping up your spine?

“Everything okay, sweetheart?” he’s asked, jerking you bodily back to the present.

Swallowing harshly, you’d forced a smile onto your lips, shaking your head as you tried to remember how to speak. “I-it’s just hot,” you’d managed to stutter.

He’d hummed in quiet agreement, draping his arms over your shoulders to press an indulgent kiss to the crown of your head.

You’d relaxed into the comfort of his embrace, and that should have been the end of it - but it wasn’t.

Being one of his rare days completely off, Shouta’s determined to do as little as possible, which usually means spending the day curled up on the couch together - Shou reading, fingers gliding absentmindedly through the downy soft feathers of your wings. You’d come to love days like that, when he didn’t have to leave. He’d always make you feel so safe, so adored in his arms. Even the lazy kisses that almost always led to lazy lovemaking - the two of you entwined on the cushions, his hips leisurely grinding into yours as he peppers your skin with ardent affection - they’re something you’ve learned to crave.

Nobody else can treat you as well as he can. Nobody else can love you like he does, and he loves you so much.

You’re his angel, his treasure, his soulmate - the one thing on this earth that he can’t live without.

He adores you, takes care of you… letting him hold you close and shower you in that devotion should have been as easy as breathing.

Except today, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t settle. You tell him it’s the heat that’s making you restless, and it’s technically not a lie, but it’s far from the whole truth.

You can’t stop looking at the open window. It’s only cracked an inch or so, but that doesn’t really make much of a difference when it shouldn’t be open at all.

It’s locked for your safety, he’s told you a thousand times. The city below is teeming with a seedy underbelly of violence and corruption, and being the wife of a Pro Hero paints a lovely target on your back.

“Do you know how many of them would jump at the chance to take you from me? To hurt you as a means to get to me? Do you have any idea the awful kinds of things they would do to something so pure… so defenceless…”

You understand that, you know why you can’t leave the apartment - why the windows are locked and the front door’s always chained, even when Shouta’s home with you. He’s doing it out of love - to protect you.

But if that’s the case, then why is the window open now?

There’s a niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just can’t ignore. It’s making it difficult to focus, to settle down and lose yourself in the books he’s brought you, or the TV that’s playing quietly in the background - some TV sitcom from the 90’s.

(Your wings ruffle and twitch restlessly, flaring with every gust of wind that breezes through that torturously tiny gap, and in amongst the discomfort, you feel an ache long since buried kindle.)

You could just ask him - surely there has to be a reason he’s chosen the window over the air conditioning to abate the summer heat, but every time you open your mouth, the words get stuck in your throat.

You don’t know why it’s bothering you so much. Shouta wouldn’t deliberately put you at risk, so him opening the window (the one that’s always shut, always locked) shouldn’t raise any red flags. It shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable. It shouldn’t even register as an issue!

But the unease in your gut won’t let up. You can’t stop your eyes from darting across the room to stare, like you’re frightened that if he catches you looking, he’ll get mad, or he’ll close the window and that lovely, fresh breeze that feels so nice tickling at your wings will be gone, and you won’t get it back.

Which doesn’t make sense, because it’s just a stupid window!

I-it’s just an open window.

Except you know that it’s not, and the revelation tears at every inch of your sanity.

He calls you his angel, a nod, you suspect, to your pretty white wings, but you’re nothing more than a caged little bird, trapped and locked away for his enjoyment.

It doesn’t bother you that the window is open because it’s not safe, it bothers you because after however many months stuck as his beloved little captive - you’ve managed to rationalise everything. To accept it.

You tricked yourself into believing that you loved him back.

And the open window shatters that fragile illusion, because if you really loved him, if you really, truly wanted to be here with Shouta, an open window on a hot summer's day would be little more than an afterthought, not a bitter reminder of all that’s been taken from you.

The vitriolic disgust and shame that floods your veins threatens to overwhelm you entirely, send you crashing to your knees as a sob tears through your throat.

You let this happen. You let him twist and mold you into his perfect angel, his adoring wife.

He stole you, drugged you, tied you to his bed and raped you, and managed to convince you that that was love… and you let him.

But you can’t buckle. You can’t afford to make a single sound, because just across the room, your captor is curled up on the love seat, napping in the afternoon warmth and you might not get another chance like this one.

Your eyes dart to the window once more, and you swallow down the lump in your throat.

There’ll be plenty of time to wallow in self pity and loathing later.

It’s only opened a few inches, but you know that it slides all the way across. You know because you tried to escape that way once before, in the first few days of your captivity.

There’s a reason all the windows in the apartment are locked, and it’s not to keep the Villains out.

This time you’re silent as you pad barefoot across the floor.

Your wings spring open, stretching wide and ruffling in preparation as your eyes flicker back over to Shouta.

Still fast asleep.

A tiny breath of relief leaves your lips. As quietly as you can manage your fingers find the edge of the window pane and slowly, you ease it further open - far enough that you can clamber up onto the thin wooden sill.

Perched on the balls of your feet, braced against either side of the window pane, your wings tucked tight against your body to fit through the narrow gap, your heart stutters in your chest.

And maybe it’s a testament to how broken you really are, because as you take a deep steadying breath, closing your eyes to prepare for the leap - you feel it - an insistent little tug in your gut, a flicker of guilt that trickles down your spine.

You hesitate, just for a fraction of a second.

But it’s enough.

A pair of iron arms encircle your waist as you're yanked back, kicking and screaming through the window and into a hard chest.

“Going somewhere, angel?”

#yandere bnha #yandere aizawa #yandere aizawa x reader #yandere shouta aizawa x reader #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere eraserhead #my writing #yandere fic #tw stockholm syndrome #tw implied noncon

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iamdeku · 3 years

Text

Peace: Prohero!Bakugou x Reader

This one is basically the same as Positions, except it’s Bakugou x reader. Just another very soft domestic fic. As always, all characters are 18+ unless stated otherwise.

Warnings: Nonsexual nudity. Mentions of kids/pregnancy.

You kicked off your heels the moment you walked in the door, feet aching. A rush of dead air thumped out of you as your back hit the doorframe, the impact ricocheting through your chest. You were too tired to care about that though, too tired to stand properly or do anything but crawl over towards the couch.

You were working as a secretary for Endeavor right now, and you hated it. He was the most unpleasant man to work with, and some days you came home feeling like crying. Today wasn’t one of those days, but it could become one at any moment. You lugged your sore bones over to the couch, throwing yourself over the armrest and coming to rest only halfway onto the couch.

It was there that Katsuki found you 5 minutes later after getting back from patrol.

He had a good night tonight, The streets hadn’t been too busy, and he had crushed every nasty villain that had dared to show their face. All day he had been looking forward to coming home to you, so much so that he had already packed a change of clothes, ready to cuddle in dark gray sweats and a black tank top.

He stopped dead after walking through the door of your apartment though, frowning. He could see your legs dangling over the arm of the couch, and, walking closer, he got a better view of you. It was just as he had expected. They had overworked you again, and now you looked exhausted.

You turned your face up when you heard him open the door, but you couldn’t be bothered to greet him like you normally would. Everything hurt from all the running around you had done today. You weren’t sure how Katsuki worked so hard every day and still kept going, though it might have something to do with the fact that his workout regime was considerably more difficult than yours.

“Hi baby,” you muttered, seeing his face over the edge of the couch.

“Those bastards are still working you too hard, aren’t they?”

Katsuki never beat around the bush. It was part of what you liked about him. You always knew when something was bothering him. You never had to wonder or get self-critical. If he didn’t like something, he would just say it.

“It’s okay. It’s not so bad.”

“I keep telling you, you should just quit. I make more than enough money for the both of us.” He huffed, sitting down beside you on the couch.

His clothes nearly blended into the black material as he tugged you into his lap, settling his chin on your shoulder. You breathed a sigh of relief at his touch, leaning back into him and letting the weight of the day slide off your shoulders. Katsuki’s warm, dependable strength at your back eased your stress.

“Just a little bit longer. I’ll find something better soon, and then I’ll quit.”

You could practically hear Katsuki rolling his eyes.

“Gonna make me start a hero agency just to get you a better job.”

“Pretty sure there are some kind of rules against your girlfriend working for you. Feels like a potential ethical vulnerability, especially for such a high visibility hero. They’d never get off your back about it.” You stretched out against him, toes curling. “I’ll just go work for Izuku when he starts his agency.”

Instantly, Katsuki was up in arms. “Stupid Deku? You’d rather work for him than me?”

You laughed softly, turning to face him better and cup his cheek in your hand. “No baby, of course not. We’ll work something out. It’s a while off anyway, and I can promise you I won’t be working for Endeavor by that time. “

“Better not be. I’m about to show up on his doorstep just to yell at him.”

You smiled indulgently. “You’re so overprotective.”

You felt him soften, even as his arms brought you in tighter, nose pressing into your hair. “Only for you. My best girl.”

You hummed softly as he started pressing kisses into your hair, moving down to your temple and slowly working his way across the expanse of your face. You caught your breath as his lips ghosted over your eyelids, tracing the bridge of your nose.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, eyes unfocused and dazed.

You had nothing to say to that, mouth hanging half open as you stared at him in awe. As much as it was normal for Katsuki to get like this with you, it never failed to surprise you, perhaps because of the contrast of how he was with everybody else. While he so obviously adored you, he could be a little rough around the edges with his friends and family, so when he got sensitive like this it always left you speechless.

“You missed a spot,” you whispered, leaning in and waiting for him to close the gap.

His kiss was slow and languid, taking his time with you as he laced his fingers through your hair. His thumb brushed up your waist, skimming the bare skin under the hem of your shirt and melting you. You turned to putty under his touch, collapsing into him as you breathed him in with a lazy hint of urgency.

He pulled away from you slowly, a string of saliva connecting your lips before you snapped it.

“Have you eaten yet today?” he asked, voice low, the rumble of his chest echoing in yours.

“I had a lunch break, yeah,” you said, ready to go back to kissing him.

“Come on baby, you know you need more than that,” he said, scooping you up.

You wrapped your arms around his neck with a yelp, holding on for dear life.

“Katsuki, what are you doing?” you whined.

“I’m taking you to the kitchen,” he said. “You need to eat dinner.”

“I’m too tired for dinner,” you groaned.

He scoffed. “You weren’t too tired to make out with me, brat.”

It only took him a few long strides to get to your small kitchen, opting to set you down on the counter instead of one of your perfectly good chairs. You didn’t mind though, since it gave you a better vantage point to watch him work. You loved watching Katsuki cook, and you especially loved when he cooked for you, as you knew it was his way of showing affection, amongst...other activities.

“What are you making?” you asked, leaning your head back against the cabinet.

“Your favorite,” he grunted, putting the ingredients together.

“Mmmm, yummy,” you said.

“Of course you think it’s yummy, it’s your favorite.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes and you watched the muscles of his back roll under his tank top as he moved a few pots and pans around in your kitchen. If you were being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t mind just eating him. The man put the term ‘snack’ to shame. You were trying not to drool over him, but there was just something about Katsuki in tank tops, all that muscle on open display like that for you.

You hopped off the counter, standing on unsteady, protesting legs to stand behind him and begin tracing patterns into his back. You rested your forehead just below his neck, your soft, open-mouthed breaths fluttering down the thin black material he wore. You closed your eyes, soaking up his presence greedily.

“You’re making it harder to cook.”

You huffed, pressing your smile into the ridges of his spine.

“You always do this. Pretend to hate me hovering while you work in the kitchen. Pretend not to love me.”

Katsuki stiffened, and you knew immediately you had said something wrong. He set everything down, turning to face you for a minute and cupping your face between his hands. Bright, searing red eyes met yours in a way that told you this was important.

“I never pretend not to love you. I always love you, and I’m not the kind of bastard who would lie about that.”

You reached a gentle hand up to wrap around his wrist.

“I know, Katsuki. I know you love me. Always. I was just teasing you. M’sorry.”

He bumped his forehead against yours, the gesture more lighthearted as he intertwined your hands.

“Stupid.”

“Still smarter than you,” you snarked, scrunching up your nose.

He just rolled his eyes at you again, letting go of you to turn back to his cooking. He grabbed his apron off its hook, starting to cook in earnest. Before you knew it, your kitchen was full of the smell of your favorite food, and your stomach was rumbling quite loudly.

Katsuki raised an eyebrow at you as he plated the food.

“You want to tell that thing to shut up?”

You folded your arms over your stomach. “It doesn’t work like that, idiot.”

“Sure it doesn’t.” He smirked.

You almost picked a fight, but when you saw the finished food you couldn’t bring yourself to. You ate so fast you practically inhaled the food, hungrier than you had known after your long day. When you finished you were full and happy, a warm exhaustion chasing through your veins.

You let out a long sigh, leaning back against the stiff wood of your kitchen chairs.

“I’ve decided to never move again. I’m just going to die here, with my greasy hair and achy bones and full of amazing food. This is as good as life gets, I think.”

Katsuki turned from where he was busy putting your dishes in the sink. Walking over to you, he picked you up for the second time that night. Pressing you tight to his body, he began to head towards your bedroom.

“This is not as good as life gets, and I’m going to make sure you know that,” he said, voice low and soft.

You were practically falling asleep now, face pressing into his shoulder.

“Tsuki,” you breathed dreamily, “I love you.”

“I love you too dummy.” He kissed the side of your head to punctuate the comment.

Opening the door to your bedroom, he headed to the attached bathroom, kicking the door open with his foot. He didn’t even set you down on the floor, just positioning you on his lap as he sat on the edge of your bath and started the water. He added your favorite bubble bath, and you smiled, thinking about how good he was with the little details of your life, things like your favorite foods and your favorite bubble bath. You were in so deep, and you never wanted to remember what it was like not to be in love with Katsuki Bakugou.

“You need a bath,” he said. “You stink.”

“Awww, what a sweet way of telling me you listen when I complain about my greasy hair, Tsuki,” you teased.

“I listen to everything you say. I have ears, don’t I?”

You giggled, taking off your uncomfortable work clothes. Katsuki watched as you did, helping out here and there when you got caught on a button or when you nearly tripped trying to get out of your ‘professional businesswoman’ pantyhose. Eventually you dipped into the bath, Katsuki kneeling beside the tub.

With gentle motions, he washed your hair, the hands that could be so violent never softer or more careful than when he was touching you. His fingers skimmed across your skin, tracing the contours of your shoulders with greater dedication than the most devout anatomist. He mapped out the shape of your body with soap and tough hands, up to his elbows in water as he helped every weary inch get cleaned up.

You looked up at him, suds framing the shape of his biceps, doing all of this work for you, and felt a surge of love and affection for this man. You wanted to marry him, wanted to have his children and live a long happy life with him.

“How did I get so lucky?” you wondered.

“It’s not luck. You ended up with me because you have great taste,” Katsuki said.

You laughed. “Maybe so. Even still, it isn’t every day you meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

He paused in his motions.

“You would want that? To be with me? Forever?”

You reached a hand out for his, holding it and giving it a brief squeeze.

“Yeah. Is that...” you faltered. “Is that something you want?”

He shifted forward, leaning over the side of the tub.

“Yes, of course. I’ve wanted to put a ring on your finger so long, you have no idea.” He laughed at himself a little. “Want the whole thing. Want to buy you a big pretty house and take care of you and make it so you never have to spend another second at that stupid job. Want to cook you weird food when you’re pregnant and craving something disgusting, want to cover your baby belly in kisses every day. Want to have kids with you, a family, everything. I want everything.”

Katsuki was unexpectedly wide-eyed and breathless, so earnest in his simple desires. You wanted to give it all to him, have it all with him, live out the whole dream.

“I want that so bad, you have no idea,” you told him.

“You’re going to have it. We’re going to have it. Going to give all of it to you.”

You smiled, and your happiness would have been perfect except the soap bubble that slipped from your hair down your face. You laughed, wiping it away.

“Maybe we should finish with this bath first.”

When you were ready to get out, he wrapped you up in your towel, reminding you of when you were a little kid. Your towel no longer reached to your knees, but there was something comforting about it all the same, like being wrapped in a blanket. He laid you out on your bed, wordlessly reaching for one of his own shirts for you to wriggle over your head and down your body.

When you were done, you pulled him down on top of you where you lay, wet hair carelessly soaking into the sheets. Tilting his chin up with one hand, you pressed your lips to his again and again, like a conversation, an exchanging of words. Each kiss had something different to say, something important, and something the same.

You are so good and kind and I love you. Thank you for taking care of me and I love you. I’m so happy I know you and I love you. You are the best man I have ever met and I love you.

He switched your positions, pulling you on top of him so that you lay more on him than the bed. He kissed you back, loving you with chapped lips and intertwined fingers and something deeper that fluttered through you in the deepness of the night and buzzed through your body at his touch.

He pulled away to, in a moment of redundancy, say what you had already been saying.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. So much,” you whispered.

He rubbed a hand up and down your back, the other cradling the back of your head and easing it down onto his shoulder.

“Rest now.” He kissed your shoulder. “I’ll still love you in the morning.”

#katsuki bakugou #mha #bnha #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #agedup!bakugou #prohero!bakugou #request

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

Text

Diabolik Twitter ー Kino [2020 Compilation]

–> This post includes all tweets posted on the official Rejet Twitter account for Kino (@DialoverKino) in 2020.

Shuu l Reiji l Ayato l Kanato l Laito l Subaru l Ruki l Kou l Yuma l Azusa l Carla l Shin

February 14, 2020 (Valentine’s Day)

> How many boxes did you get this year, Carla?

> Oh well, if you want to give me chocolates, be my guest

> Although whether I’ll eat them or not will depend on my mood at the time

March 14, 2020 (White Day)

> Marshmallows, huh?

> But I wanted konpeito. Kanato’s so inconsiderate

–> Konpeito is a traditional Japanese confectionary. They’re little colorful star-shaped candies made from sugar and often eaten together with green tea.

> I’ve come to escort you. May I have your hand, Princess?

> …Is what you want me to say, don’t you? In that case, there’s a specific kind of attitude you should show me, right?

> Come on, what should you do first? I’ll kiss you, so use that time to think. About a way to please me, that is.

April 1, 2020 (April Fools)

> I love you.

> I lied. Did I fool you?

> Just kidding~ That’s a lie too.

> Which one do you think is the truth? Which would you prefer?

May 6, 2020

> Ahーah.

> These videos will be deleted tomorrow, huh?

> I managed to get so much hilarious footage of them as well, how boring.

> Oh well, whatever. It was fun while it lasted.

> How about you? Did you enjoy it?

June 29, 2020 (Birthday)

> My birthday’s about to end, huh? You already celebrated me in a lot of ways, but don’t you think you should finish with a bang? If you can’t think of anything, I’ll give you a suggestion. Let’s kiss until the clock strikes midnight. What do you say? This is the one day on which I’m allowed to make selfish requests after all. So end on a high note and give me the ultimate present, please?

July 7, 2020 (Tanabata)

> I forgot to open up my game one day and ruined my log-in bonus streak, you see. Could you maybe make it so that day didn’t exist? #TanabataWishes

July 17, 2020

> Uwah.

> There’s a roof leak.

> I have to inform Yuuri of this.

October 17, 2020

> No way.

> I got an insane pull.

> Only I could get a SSR card on the first try!

> Amazing, right? Praise me!

October 23, 2020 (DL x Mayla Classic)

> Hey, hey. I’ve got a present for you so…Why don’t we play a game with it as the prize?

> I’ve hid the gift inside the bathroom, so try and look for it within the time limit. If you manage to find it, it counts as your win and I’ll give it to you.

> We’re starting right now. Ready, go!

–> Move to the bathroom

> Come on, you better hurry or you’ll run out of time!

> Aaaand stop! Time’s up!

> Ah-aah~ What a shame. You didn’t find it, huh? But I’m kind, I’ll give you a second chance.

> I actually hid it in the inner courtyard and not the bathroom. In short, no matter how hard you look, you won’t find it here.

> Don’t be mad. More importantly, hurry up and go look for it. You want this present from me, don’t you?

–> Move to the inner courtyard

> And? Did you find it? Better hurry up, time is ticking…

> Time’s up! You didn’t find it this time either. Too bad. However, I had fun watching you run around in panic.

> To tell the truth, it’s not here either. It’s actually hidden somewhere else. No hints this time. Try and find it through your own efforts.

> See you. Break a leg.

…

> Excuse me?

> The thing you are looking for is on the table in the living room. He should have simply given it to you without being such a tease, but Kino is never honest.

> It’s a present Kino finally purchased after spending several days searching various webshops. Please go and get it quickly. Well then, I’ll take my leave.

> Ah! Is this Yuuri’s doing? Which means…

–> Move to the living room

> What? You found it so easily.

> Exactly. That’s your present. Let me tell you, but I only bought it because I just so happened to feel like it. Well, anyway, I’ll give it to you.

> Ah! Of course, I’ll be taking something in return. Plenty of your blood, that is. You don’t mind, do you?

October 31, 2020 (Halloween)

> Game over. Running a Halloween’s event kinda neat but I’ve had about enough so I’ll trick you instead~ I bet you’re happy to have my attention?

November 13, 2020

> Last month we had special Halloween gacha and next month there will be Christmas ones.

> I better save up all of this month’s free points.

November 27, 2020

> I can’t believe this.

> I’m being forced to join in with this weird game.

> This is heavy, for real.

December 18, 2020

> Koーtaーtsu. Put out the kotatsu.* Getting comfortable underneath while playing games is the best feeling, don’t you think? Also, hotpot and mandarin oranges*...These are all new things to me, so you better teach me all the fun stuff.

–> Kotatsu is a thick, heated blanket which is often put underneath a small table in the living room. It isn’t uncommon for Japanese people to sit on the floor with their lower body underneath the blanket while they watch TV or even eat their meals. Both hotpot and mandarin oranges are foods which are often enjoyed during the winter time.

December 19, 2020

> Cafe dates are so boring. At least order a drink I’d enjoy. ...Eh? That one? You’re right, there’s konpeito added on top. Nice, let’s order that one! Well, you pass. But I guess this is basic knowledge since you like me so much. I’ll give you a real challenge next time, so look forward to it~

December 23, 2020

> No. I won’t let you get away.

> You’re pretty shameless, nearly losing your mind from pleasure when all I’ve done is tease you a little. You always try and feign ignorance, but you’re actually weak to this sorta stuff, aren’t you?

> Also, you like this as well, don’t you? When I whisper in your ear, dragging my fangs across...See? You’re already reacting. You’re flushed bright red all the way to your ears.

> If just words have such an effect on you, I wonder what’ll happen once I actually suck your blood? Sounds fun so I’ll put it to the test.

> Are you ready to become my toy? Entertain me with everything you’ve got.

December 24, 2020 (Christmas)

> The Christmas food and the presents were pretty fun, but you didn’t think this was the end, right? I saved the best for last. I’m going to indulge in your sugary sweet self so brace yourself.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kino #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers twitter #kino2020

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theoptimisticfatalist · 3 years

Text

Lemon Juice and Pasta

Pairing: Nanami Kento x reader

Word count: 1.2k

Warning(s): none

Author's notes: The other day I was barely existing after having to run some errrands in absolute midday in summer so I made this totally self-indulgent piece of fanfic. I stan domestic Nanami with no shame.

"I'm home," came the sound of your boyfriend Nanami after you heard him kicking his shoes away.

This afternoon after a grocery run, you were experiencing the first signs of summer approaching – the fervent chirps of cicadas and the feeling of your shirt sticking to your back, the fabric damp with sweat. Not only that, you also found yourself in a dizzy state the closer you got to home, despite having worn a hat before lest the sun shines too intensely. The first few days when spring turns to summer were the worst: you always felt like spring never lasts long enough, cut even shorter with the sudden scorching, suffocating heat appearing out of nowhere.

"I haven't cooked dinner yet," you blinked, a moment after he glanced towards your direction. "And I think I don't want to," you continued, still splayed over the couch in a posture that could only signify one thing: you're under the weather.

Nanami then sat himself on the couch, lightly tapping his lap as if to offering you to lie your head there instead. Contemplating for a few seconds, he asked: "Would you like me to cook instead?".

With your head now on his laps, you gazed at the ceiling absentmindedly before replying: "I think I'd like that".

Though Nanami didn't allow you a hint as to what you both were to have for dinner, you could tell the meal was going to be good, occasionally smelling whizzes of minced garlic drowned in browned butter. Deciding you have had enough social media for the time being, you picked up a novel from the small bookshelf positioned near the couch to kill time, occasionally sipping on the glass of water your boyfriend insisted that you drank.

After a few pages – this book was particularly hard to digest, its subject matter about the life after war from the narrative of a former soldier, his life now virtually inseperable from it, you heard a saucepan hit the sink, then the sizzle of water as it was coming in contact with the surface of the cooking utensil. You took what you heard as a sign for you to come to the dining table, time for dinner apparently close.

The two identical dishes already placed on the table looked simple enough, just pasta coated with a shiny, almost transparent sauce with a bit of pepper sprinkled on top for visual appeal. As you were inspecting the dish, wondering what he put into it, Nanami walked towards you, having finished what he was doing by the kitchen counter.

"Here's lemon juice, with both salt and sugar because you seemed so tired back when I came home", he sat down on the chair by your side, handing you the glass of beverage he was holding.

"And here's the oyster sauce pasta with garlic butter, a comfort recipe of mine when I was abroad. It's simple, but I used to eat it quite often – the dish's so easy to make yet got a lot of nuance for flavors," he continued. You nodded, feeling somewhat better after having taken time off from your phone and shifting your focus to an analog object instead. Moreover, you got to take a break from cooking for tonight – not that you hated cooking, but you felt like it would be better if you didn't.

Picking up the fork and spoon, you and Nanami said "itadakimasu" in unison and started digging in.

It's true, the pasta's got nuance, you thought to yourself. Not only could you feel the garlic and butter in your tastebuds, the oyster sauce also gives the meal the savory punch, adding another layer to the salted pasta strands, and the caramel undertones to round everything up. And lemon juice? Nanami hit the nail on the head with your love for iced lemon juice. Even better, the juice wasn't too saccharine, instead having a modest amount of sugar and a ghost of sodium to give the drink nuance.

After Nanami had finished the pasta and now sipping on the lemon juice, he spoke: "I ought to admit, I too feel suffocated today."

"Must be the sun," you replied, "the first days of summer are always the harshest. You can get sick if you're not careful."

"And look at the irony, look at who's saying that?," your boyfriend joked, eliciting a light chuckle from you.

You pouted at him in mock-offense: "I'm not sick, I'm just a bit tired!".

Not giving him a chance for a comeback, you noticed Nanami's tie still unloosened, something you've decided to target as a comeback.

"Do you think Gordon Ramsay would allow you to cook with your tie still unloosened like that?"

Upon hearing your quip, Nanami glanced downwards to the black-spotted piece of satin still taut around his shirt collar: "Oh well, it just couldn't be helped that I wanted to help you. You seemed exhausted, I couldn't bear to make you cook dinner too". His hands quickly worked around the tie, putting it near the pair of eyeglasses he put away at the beginning of the meal.

After a while of staying by his side, you found out there was a different side of him, a side hardly revealed to Yuuji, his protégé, or even Gojo, someone who's been acquainted with your boyfriend for over a decade at this point: a side where Nanami is not all taciturn and business-like – a side where Nanami loosens up, and you felt somewhat honored that he chose you out of all people to reveal that side to.

Though most of the time Nanami's humour is not quite the dictionary definition of funny, it certainly makes you laugh or at the very least, makes you smile. It's hard to explain, but Nanami's humour is witty in a subtle way, mixed with adoration and affection when there's only you and him.

You ought to admit that sometimes you don't take as good care of yourself as you're supposed to sometimes, and it surely did not help that you were especially prone to catching illnesses in sensitive times. At one point in your life, you met Nanami, and you never thought you could find that much enjoyment in being taken care of by someone other than your family or you yourself. Nanami knows all of your quirks by heart, and loves you for it, cares about it, tenderly nudges you about it too – like how he took care of everything after seeing you exhausted because of the sun just now. The way you were surrounded with this air of stability and comfort every time Nanami's near, how he shows affection in his own ways, how he does things in his own ways – they complement yours perfectly.

Oh, you feel so blessed to be loved by Nanami. It's not the money your boyfriend makes as a jujutsu sorcerer – you've known him since he started his office job, cursing it every time you two have a chance to sit down and talk, nor is it what the other girls gossip about – the expensive, luxurious lifestyle he was rumoured to live.

(Sure, it might have been the plus points at the start but what's the use for them if they are all there is to a man?)

That was what you thought as you sipped on the rest of the lemon juice for dinner, your lips curling into a smile.

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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years

Text

[OM!] Mother!MC with Demon Brothers + Luke Headcanons

Scenario: Instead of a younger human, the Devildom welcomes a mother (with a 3-year old son in tow) into the exchange program.

intro + headcanons about how the brothers would interact with her

no romance… just uwu

bonus how the brothers would treat the son (why son? Perhaps because I too want a son)

Female reader!! (MC is referred to as she in this post)

bonus character: Luke :3c

I JUST WANT THEM TO FEEL LOVED OK

Lucifer wasn’t prone to believe in fate-- and the beginnings of the exchange program was just another reason why he did not. He let the breeze-- the wind pick a human applicant for him; and if he had gone through every application (though he wasn't completely sure he'd be sane by the end of it all) maybe this situation wouldn't have happened.

"What do you mean you can't be one of our exchange students?" Diavolo inquired, more curious than anything, an amused smile gracing his lips.

"I have a son," she said hesitantly. And there he was, peering around at the assembly room in his mother's arms that were wrapped protectively around him.

A mother and her human child, Lucifer thought blearily. One could only imagine what would happen if both of them remained here. (Which is why he never cut corners in anything he ever did ever because the one time he does, things go to shit. Damn Diavolo for enabling him.)

Lucifer

disgruntled by the adjustments made to accommodate a human child and his mother; mf will he ever rest

probably has to worry about babysitting duties delegated to his brothers

however, pleasantly surprised by MC's calm demeanor and reliable personality; finally another competent person in the house he doesn't have to really pick up after

...actually adores her and her son

accidentally does things to please her without really realizing it and hates the slight disappointment or worry he sees when he goes through sleepless nights or lashes out from anger

doesn't remember the last time he's been chastised, but he's as embarrassed as he can be when she fusses over him

the hell coffee she makes for him every morning and the snacks she brings during his breaks makes him lowkey wanna cry-- he doesn’t know how to deal with a selfless, unconditional love

is used to being a single parent ngl so taking care of her son is kinda… easy especially if the son is compliant

finds himself pressing a kiss to his forehead absently and catches himself only after he's done it (bonus points if Barbatos takes a pic of it and sends it into their trio gc)

“Barbatos, please delete this picture.”

“Oh, are you sure about that?”

“................”

ah he's attached, and so are his brothers, which kind of perturbed him a little but he’s kind of in the same boat after a short week or so

(if there was one brother who had a chance of harboring feelings for a mother mc, it’d be Luciiiiiiii uwuwuwuuwuuw; what can I say? He can’t resist the milf)

eventually, he opens up to her about the war-- because if there was any human he’d trust with his secrets, it would be MC

Mammon

he's crying

he doesn't think anyone has ever talked or held him as gently as MC

similar to the game, absolutely adores her and can't even lie about it

ok jk he's still a tsundere, but blushes every time MC looks at him with a knowing look because he can't lie convincingly enough that no, the head pats dont feel nice and no, he's just eating the lunch she made because it'll be a waste otherwise, ok?!

Her son definitely thinks he’s related to Mammon

Definitely the first one to accidentally call her “mom”

But hey don’t blame him-- he’s weak to how MC looks at him endearingly as she brushes hair out of his face motherly, like he can do no wrong

Nothing can compare to how Mammon feels when MC tells him she’s proud of him

feels legit guilty when she calls him out on his habits of stealing things to the point he remembers her voice when he tries to do it again-- basically his conscience ngl

she's like a cold hand to his feverish forehead, a cooling balm to the burn on his hand

when she defends him from his brother's insults, swears he'll protect her and her son

on that note, adores her son too and her son adores mammon!

surprisingly (or not) good with kids and treats them well; plays with them, very lively and dynamic

takes babysitting pretty seriously-- makes him consider the fact that he might actually want to be a father in the future if possible

not that he doesn’t have reckless endeavors with her son... they just end up okay so no one is none the wiser until it shows up on someone’s devilgram or spoken about through Barbatos/Diavolo

Leviathan

Honestly doesn’t know how to to react

A little miffed tbh that he finds it so easy to talk to her about…. Everything???

When he enlisted her (and her son) to get his money back from Mammon, did he expect to rant to her about all his animes and gush about his figurines to her because that was one of the first time someone’s allowed him to indulge in his hobbies and listen patiently?

No, and now he’s crying

And the fact she gently addresses his self-deprecating comments and urges him to see how she sees him (smart, witty, forgiving)---

Will probably do anything for MC and anything she says at this point; the pact is just a formality LOL

Listens to her and genuinely thinks the things she does for him is in his best interest

Had a hard time knowing how to deal with her son for a while, simply because he doesn’t know what he could do to actually entertain the child

Then finds out he could literally put up TSL or any of his favorite animes and the kid will watch it-- and ABSORB

Levi might as well be the kid’s best friend at this point-- dubbs him ‘Henry’-- which is really the greatest compliment MC thinks her son can get from him

Honestly volunteers to babysit him and proceeds to spoil him rotten

Satan

Slightly annoyed at how motherly she is at the beginning-- he takes her care and actions as if she treats him like a child

Finds it frightening how soothed he feels when he’s around her

There’s something about an older, calming presence that saps the anger from him and makes him feel like he can be himself around MC

Surprisingly the second person to accidentally call MC by “mom” probably an hour after he makes fun of Mammon for doing it (lol karma)

isn't one to seek out her attention like with levi, mammon, or asmo but is pleased whenever he does have time to spend with her because she always seems to have insight on everything and a strange wisdom that all mothers apparently do

has a lot of late night talks with her about her life, her career, what it's like having a child

often finds himself asking her for advice, and even if she doesn't have the answer, he always comes out of it thoughtful and clear minded

always willing to take care of her son; delights in reading him his favorite books and enacting the exciting scenes

always treats him like an adult to the point that their conversations are really funny to listen to

"So would you say the author's intent of the blue door was to convey the agony of grief?"

"I like the color blue."

"As did the protagonist; hm, you bring up a good point."

the son is Satan's partner in crime against Lucifer

"It's better if we do this, isn't that right?"

"Yeah!" MC’s child says, happily chewing on his favorite snack that Satan always gives to him and honestly not caring about the conversation at hand at all

"See? He agrees with me!”

And Lucifer just sighs bc he always loses in these arguments and Satan is unbearably smug

Asmodeus

similar to Satan, finds her presence in Devildom to be very pleasant and calming

she never seems to be disapproving of his past times, and Asmo is endeared by the way she never fails to say "stay safe" or "have fun!" or even "do you want me to leave the front lights for when you come back?"

the little motherly ways in which she shows she cares makes Asmo adore her

loves taking her shopping; always has a good time just gossiping, trying new clothes, or having a girls night out with self careeeee

when her son tags along, loves to have him dress up too or try on make up and it's too adorable NOT to post on devilgram

pretty sure MC's son has trended on devilgram before-- but that was the first and last time because Lucifer yelled at him for advertising the fact there was a human child in Devildom

which Asmo thinks is silly because he's pretty sure the caption under the selfie of the three of them ("So adorbs! I've only had MC's son for a day, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in Devildom and then myself. Teehee!") would have deterred any demon from laying a finger on him

When Asmo has him for babysitting duties, always loves to bathe him and play with bubbles, morphing his hair into an afro or an equally fashionable hairdo

actually very attentive to the child!!

Beelzebub

Not much changes from how Beel treats MC, but does view her actions in a more motherly manner

I think one thing that would change is that-- considering MC is a mother of her own child, is actually very protective of the brothers and sensitive to their changes in moods

When Lucifer gets angry at Beel and Luke, MC is furious and furiously protective, not yielding one bit or hesitating to put herself in front of them because of her instincts-- Beel has never admired her more

Physical strength has always something he can easily understand, but it is the strength of wills and of bravery that surprises him every time

After Mammon and Satan accidentally calls you “mom” Beelzebub has no qualms with calling you by mom either-- I mean, what’s the shame in that? Everyone already thinks of you as their mother-figure anyways

MC helps him deal with the loss of his sister

With MC’s child… You know that one meme with the two ways dad deals with kids: one is softly kissing his child on the forehead as he sleeps and the other is carrying his kid by the leg with one arm

Both of them is Beel

carries the kid around in the weirdest ways sometimes, including on his head, in one hand like he's holding a trophy, upside down (dw the kid thinks it's funny)

main transport is on his shoulders though; thinks it's kinda cute how the kid puts his arms around his head

wouldn't love anything more but to nap with him, but Beel is afraid of hurting him when he sleeps

Is the softest with MC’s son--- he’s not used to being the older brother, so he takes this responsibility kind of seriously

Always makes sure the food that MC’s son eats is appropriate so he tastes/tries it first… and sometimes ends up eating all of it, but he always manages to succeed in feeding the kid so it’s all good

Belphegor

Wants to hate MC so badly the first time they meet when he’s in the attic

He’s supposed to HATE humans, damn it-- why the hell is MC trying to be so motherly and understanding, huh?? How dare she make him guilty after he lied to her like wlkjaflksjfkjasdlfj

Out of all of them, seeks MC the least; whether it’s from guilt or the fact that her presence reminds him of the things and resentment he used to hold against her

Takes a little more cajoling from MC to talk to her and explain how he’s feeling so they can move past it

He’d rather die than let anyone else know that he teared up when they talked about Lilith and how he felt about everything; urges Belphie to talk to Lucifer and seek reconciliation with him individually (because it may be a family problem, but the feud was between the two of them, don’t you think?)

Finally gets the redemption arc he deserves and feels a lot lighter knowing that everything that has happened is now in the open and he’s ready to start healing

In avoiding MC after the whole debacle, Belphie ends up spending more time with her son because he thinks Belphie is fascinating and Belphie has no clue why

Similarly to Satan, treats the kid like he would anyone else but does find it amusing if the kid chases after his tail like a cat

Always ends up napping with him whenever MC’s son takes a nap-- after all, what’s easier than looking after a kid if you’re BOTH asleep?

Keeps an eye on him by putting a hand on his torso as they nap together

Uses MC’s son as an excuse to not do something, especially when Lucifer tells him to do something he doesn’t like to do

Honestly the son is a part of his arsenal-- he knows how weak everyone is for this kid (and so is he tbh but more lowkey) so cute pics of him is like… currency (Mammon WISHES he thought of this first)

Bonus:

Luke

MC practically adopts him the moment she lays eyes on him-- how could she not? Luke may as well be her other son

Luke can’t say no, especially after she saves him from Lucifer

Definitely calls her mom by accident and the brothers tease him-- only for him to retort back that “don’t you ALL call her by mom?” and they shut up lol

Simeon still gets to tease Luke though heheh

Really really really tries hard not to refer to MC as mom, but it slips out sometimes and no one even bats an eye

Baking together is such a family bonding moment

Treats MC’s son most like his younger brother almost automatically and makes sure he doesn’t get into any trouble while he’s taking care of him (though he does anyways)

Kind of likes the responsibility of babysitting MC’s son; makes him feel trusted

(MC takes the cutest pics of them together when they fall asleep; starts thinking about maybe having another child wouldn’t be so bad)

#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me luke #shall we date? obey me!

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finalgilmoregirl · 3 years

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Hi love! I saw your request for prompts, this idea popped in my head sorry if its too much and can take way or add to it if need to! 31. they say something hurtful in an argument , 30. They thought you cheated, 35. Thy learn you hooked up with girls before with a short! Reader (self indulgent lol 4'10 here) Bucky and reader are engaged and she sneeks off twice a week to take Romaine class to say her volws to him as a surprise but someone catches her and her female classmates studying at a cafe

30. they thought you cheated

31. they say something hurtful in an argument

35. they learn you’ve hooked up with girls before

a/n: thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy :)) i changed it a little bit so it’s more like bucky already knew you’d been with girls before instead of him just learning. i hope that okay!! ALSO i’m 4’10 too so heyyyyy

here’s my prompt list if anyone is interested in requesting a blurb <3

———————————

“stop lying!” bucky fumed, tugging at his hair in annoyance.

“i’m not lying i swear!” you sighed, already growing tired of the argument the two of you found yourself in.

you had canceled lunch with him for the third time this month, claiming you had unfinished reports to work on. and bucky believed this, he had no reason to think otherwise, until sam had mentioned to him that he’d seen you at a cafe with another woman. bucky didn’t think much of this at first, maybe you had gone there to work and ran into a friend. however when he asked about you about it, you simply brushed it off as not being true, that maybe sam confused you with someone else. this puzzled bucky because he had no reason to think you’d lie to him about something like that, until a nasty thought crept into his mind. maybe you were cheating.

he thought it was silly to think that at first, of course you wouldn’t cheat! that was until he started to think of all the other times you canceled plans, saying you had work to do, only to come home late and give a vague description of your day. the times you walked away from him to answer a call, rather than talk in front of him. he also knew of your interest in women which somehow was exactly what sent him over the edge, completely ignoring reasoning and being set on the fact that you must’ve been cheating.

“oh cut the bullshit y/n! just admit it, you’re cheating on me.” bucky spat. this caught you completely off guard. cheating? where the hell did he get cheating from?

“what the hell are you talking about buck?”

“that woman sam saw you with, the one who’s always calling you? i know you’ve been seeing her.” bucky said.

damn, you thought. you’d been caught. truth be told you were seeing someone, but not to have an affair, but to give you lessons in the romanian language. ever since you and bucky got engaged, you’d been planning on surprising him with vows in the language, but now that he’d thought you were being unfaithful, you had no idea if there was even going to be a wedding anymore.

“bucky, that’s my FRIEND! she’s been helping me with something.” you retorted, hoping he’d believe you and drop the situation. not to mention you had no intention in ruining the surprise just yet.

“oh what? sex stuff? you could’ve told me i was bad and we could’ve worked it out! you didn’t have to go running to some girl to get you off.” ok now he was just being ridiculous. but before you could respond, he continued with his rant. “you know what? get out. i’m tired of this.” he sighed, turning his back to you.

“what do you mean get out?” you asked.

“i mean leave. pack your shit. i’ll be damned if i’m gonna sit here and listen to a cheater.”

you felt your heart pumping and breaking all at once. did he truly think you were cheating on him? after everything you two had been through together, some stupid misunderstanding is what was gonna end it? fine.

you glared at him before walking over to the closet where you and bucky kept the duffles and suitcases. however, they were all on the top shelf, which no matter how much your tiny arms and legs tried to stretch, you just couldn’t reach.

“la naiba!” (god damn it) you grunted, not even realizing the words that fell from your mouth. bucky however, did.

“what did you just say?” he snapped his head to look at you and you froze. fuck.

“i didn’t say anything. now could you hand me my bag?”

“no no no. i heard what you said. where did you learn that?” he asked, taking slow steps towards you.

you moaned in frustration and turned to face him. so much for surprises.

“you know that girl sam saw me with? the one you think is my supposed mistress? she taught me. i wanted it to be a surprise but, look where that got us.” you said, looking down in shame. you felt so stupid now, keeping such a silly thing a secret.

“oh baby.” bucky sighed, pulling you into a tight embrace. “i’m sorry.”

“me too. i should’ve just told you the truth.”

the both of you held eachother for a while, feeling guilty and stupid about the whole situation. bucky was the first to break the silence.

“what else did you learn?” bucky asked, looking down at your small form.

you huffed out a laugh and looked up at your smirking fiancé.

“te iubesc.” (i love you)

———————————

i’m not sure if i’m happy with how this turned out but i hope you enjoyed <3

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #little marvel baby fic

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plasticnightmaredoll · 3 years

Text

I stumbled across an interesting article the other day that was quite eye-opening:

Now, I am aware I have issues, and those issues stem from receiving verbal and emotional abuse from one of my parents from childhood even through my college years, and a little bit past that. Nearly 2/3rds of my life, to be honest. I am still attempting to heal but it's not easy, not in the slightest.

Reading through the article reminded me of two things:

I am not alone and LOTS of people endured emotional and verbal abuse while growing up (as well as other kinds of abuse in some cases).

I can see exactly why it's such a challenge to overcome these mental and emotional scars because I have a bunch of issues.

In case you don't want to read the whole article or just want a quick reference right here without having to go back and forth, this is a sort of summary version of the list (based on my interpretations). I bolded everything that applies to me and...well, you'll see:

Blaming yourself or taking the blame for other people's actions/behaviors.

Overthinking due to immense self-doubt.

Expecting perfection from yourself and setting unrealistic goals because of it.

Believing your problems don't matter when compared to everyone else's.

Bottling up your emotions.

Afraid to try anything new out of fear of disappointing friends and family.

Anger issues as a result of anger being directed at you as a child.

Putting on a brave face and acting like you're untouchable and unbreakable to convince others and yourself (temporarily) that you have it together (which is a lie).

Flinching when people try to touch you (in a friendly manner, like a hug or pat on the back) or when someone raises their voice (kind of like a form of PTSD from your childhood abuse).

Belittling, insulting, and/or scolding yourself for being emotional.

Fear of abandonment (including fear of people dying and leaving you).

Always/often saying, "yes," to everyone out of fear of getting into trouble (fear of conflict/confrontation due to past abuse).

Relying on others to assure you whether or not you're making the right decisions.

Shutting down emotionally when anyone raises their voice to you.

Social awkwardness: being too shy and anxious or being too friendly and giddy when it comes to meeting new people.

Whenever you find yourself in an argument or even if someone just raises their voice (maybe not even at you), you immediately feel like cowering out of fear.

Talking fast and over-explaining due to being ignored, ridiculed, and/or talked over by your parents/family.

Fear of growing close to anyone (be it as a friend or as a romantic partner) due to abuse and betrayal from parents/family while growing up. So, you're often lonely but afraid to reach out to anyone out of fear of being mistreated.

Remaining quiet in conversations and/or refusing to start conversations due to being mistreated for speaking up as a child.

Fear of authority, worrying if even a simple talk with your teacher or boss may be the result of you being in some sort of trouble. So, those with "power" remind you of your abusive parents, who had power over you and abused that power regularly.

Well, 19 out of 20. That's... a lot.

It's scary to see just how much I'm dealing with (and have dealt with most of my life) mentally and emotionally all because one of the two people I expected to love me unconditionally chose to be a terrible, overbearing, short-tempered parent.

This is one of the many reasons why I think women who want to get tubal surgery should be allowed to without hitting so many roadblocks. Don't come at me with religious beliefs of physicians, or "some women regret it, so you might, too!" or "you haven't had kids so you don't know the joy!"

I. Don't. Want. Kids.

I'm selfish, ok? I like money, like my free time, like sleeping in and napping, like being able to go where I want and when I want, want to be able to travel to goddamn Japan someday without having kids dragging me down the whole way there, I love gaming and want to keep getting the best gaming PCs I can afford...

I mean, at least I -- and other women who want to have tubal surgery -- are being responsible and realizing that parenting isn't for us and it's not fair to just put unwanted children into the adoption system time and time again. I'd rather be safe than sorry, you know?

And the same goes for other types of birth control. Women shouldn't be shamed for wanting such things, although it does still happen. I realize that parenting isn't for me and I'd be an awful parent -- not on purpose, mind you, but I'm too anxious, depressed, yet goal-oriented and self-indulgent to be a good parent. So, wanting long-term or even permanent birth control is a very responsible decision, I think. I'm avoiding a problem that doesn't need to happen if that makes sense.

But the article also made me realize something else, and it's based on what read and learned over the years:

You don't need to apologize to anyone for your existence, nor do you need to explain yourself to everyone who questions every detail about you. You are you, you have your privacy, you have your personal issues to deal with, and you don't owe nosy people anything.

You need to take care of yourself, and if anyone tries to get in the way and make you feel uncomfortable, then you need to avoid them because they aren't going to make things any easier for you. I'm much more aware now of how people are, and I now avoid interacting with those who display abusive/toxic traits like that of my one parent. I don't need more of that kind of crap in my life, certainly not from strangers who may claim to be a friend or my boyfriend or whatever.

No, I am me, I can be me, and I don't need anyone else trying to take their problems out on me. I hope others also realize this, that they don't need to be someone's punching bag (verbally or physically or both), and that it's not your fault if you were abused: the abuser is to blame, no matter what the excuses are. You are not responsible for an abuser's behavior, care, or past. Abusers need to help themselves and you need to help you.

#self healing #self help #mental health #personal rant #mental wellbeing #mental wellness #self care #moving on

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honeyhan-123 · 4 years

Text

Birthday Girl

Summary: Bucky and Steve wish you a very happy birthday and give you a present that takes nine months to arrive...

Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, mmf, anal, breeding kink,

Word Count: 3.2k

Squares Filled: MMF, Someone’s Birthday.

AN: I’m not gonna lie, this was very self indulgent and tbh I don’t feel like it’s my best work ever but, I’m feeling horny for Stucky on main so... enjoy!

My Masterlist

‘So… How’s our birthday girl feeling?’ You giggled, your fingers fiddling with the straw of your drink as you took in the sight before you. Steve Rogers, THE Steve Rogers, was leaning against the bar and his attention was solely on you. It sent butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. You had no idea how he had even found out about the little get together your friends had planned for you at the little bar across the road from the Tower. But here he was and you certainly weren’t going to complain.

‘I’m feeling just perfect, especially now that you’re here.’ The numerous cocktails you had downed earlier in the night lowered your inhibitions, making the filter between your thoughts and your mouth completely disappear.

‘Oh really?’ Steve leaned slightly closer, his immense body invaded your space, and his scent filled your nostrils.

‘Yes really. You know…’ Your voice trailed off, your cheeks heating as you thought over your next words. Even in your current state you knew that you’d probably regret it tomorrow but tonight was your birthday so what the hell. ‘My favourite part of the day is when you stop by my next. Even when you don’t stop to chat or anything, just watching you walk… You’re so strong and powerful, so domineering.’

You didn’t hear the sharp intake of breath at your words, your attention was too focussed on the strong muscles of Steve’s arm as you played with his dark blue shirt. ‘I watch you too you know.’ Your eyes snapped up at that, locking onto his.

‘Oh?’ You were surprised at that but it sent a warm tingling down your spine and you not so subtly angled yourself closer to him. The fact that you had somehow managed to catch the eye of America’s saviour by working on the reception desk at Stark Tower seemed a bit far fetched even to your romantic disposition but still… Here he was.

He hummed in admittance. ‘That first day Bucky and I met you, we just knew that you were something special. We knew we would be able to give you everything you needed.’

‘Everything I needed?’

His hand slid around your back, pulling you closer. ‘Say, how about we head back to the tower and I’ll show you exactly what I mean.’ You nodded and hastily stood from the bar stool, nearly falling over your own feet but Steve’s arms wrapped around you to keep you upright. ‘You’re so clumsy sweetie, you’ll have to be far more careful when you're pregnant.’

Your smile shined bright as he kept an arm around you, leading you from the bar. He had called you sweetie… Of course, the rest of his sentence was completely lost on you.

Steve led you through the back entrance, the one used afterhours, and up the private lifts to his living space. You followed him inside, taking a longing look around the space. It was a far cry of the shabby walkup you could afford.

‘I’ve got some champagne in the fridge if you’d like a glass?’ You nodded eagerly, spinning back to him as he fiddled with his phone before getting out three flutes from the cupboard. You watched enthralled as his muscles flexed while he worked on unscrewing the cork, his hands wrapped firmly around the bottle. If only they were wrapped firmly around -

You jumped back slightly in surprise as you heard the loud pop of the cork coming free and laughter flowed from your lips, slightly embarrassed by your surprise. He poured the golden liquid into two of the glasses and confusion swept over you as he started on the third.

‘Uh Steve? Why are you pouring three glasses?’

A knock on the door interrupted whatever answer he was going to give you and instead he just called ‘come in!’ The door opened to reveal Bucky, dressed in his usual standard t-shirt and jacket combo. He smiled deviously as he sauntered inside, plucking one of the glasses off the kitchen counter and taking a seat next to you.

He clinked his glass against yours, his ice blue eyes trailing over your body before locking with your own. ‘Happy Birthday babygirl.’ You shivered as he murmured the words so softly and forced yourself to follow his example and take a large gulp.

‘How about we head into the living room? That might be a bit more comfortable.’ Steve suggested and Bucky instantly sprung from his chair, a large devious smile on his face as he nodded.

You forced yourself to stand on shaky legs, all of the alcohol had maybe not been your best idea. The world spun as you walked and Steve had to lend you his arm just to make it the mere fifteen meters to his couch.

He sat you down on the plush leather, sitting on one side as Bucky sat on your other. Steve hand cupped your thigh, his thump swirling patterns on the smooth skin. He leant in close, his lips nearly touching your ear as he spoke. ‘Do you remember when I said that we had been watching you?’

You nodded as you couldn’t trust your voice right now. Just being so close to him had you completely breathless. ‘Do you want to know what we saw?’ You nodded again, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. ‘We saw how lonely you are, how you need someone to take care of you. Even though you have a smile on most of the time, we know you hate your job. But don’t worry, that’ll change soon.’ You were too enraptured in him to fully register the meaning of his words.

It was only when you felt a cool metal hand on your other thigh that Steve’s spell on you was broken.

Bucky.

You had no idea what he was doing here. You just wanted him to leave so you could get Steve to take you into his bedroom and deal with the growing need between your thighs. This was definitely not what you had thought Steve had meant when he said ‘we knew we would be able to give you everything you needed’.

Oh.

We.

Sluggishly you made to stand, completely lost to what was going on but some instinct inside was screaming at you to run. Their hands never left your body as they stood with you. ‘What a great idea Dollface. It’s high time we moved this little party to the bedroom.’ Bucky’s hand curled around your waist as he led you to Steve’s bedroom.

He forced you onto the bed and you tried to scramble away from him, your back hitting the headboard. ‘What are you doing?’ Your voice shook and you searched for answers as Steve entered the room. ‘What are you doing Steve? I thought…’

‘Well, Sweetie, it was hard not to notice your little crush on me and don't worry, I’m flattered. But soon I noticed that you had caught Bucky’s eyes and well… it would be rude not to share. Plus, you’ve read the articles yourself. Buck and I are inseparable both on the field and off.’

You shuddered as he neared, sitting in the bed and running a hand up your thigh. ‘I know you’re scared, but you shouldn’t be. Bucky and I are going to take real good care of you.’ He reached up underneath your dress and cupped you through the soft satin panties. His touch was delicate and light; teasing and tormenting. He knew just what he was doing to you and you hated him for it.

You let out a gasp as you felt a pair of lips brush against your shoulder, tracing their way up to the shell of your ear. Bucky’s rough stubble traced along your skin, letting you know it was him. His cool metal hand reached around to your back where he tugged on the zipper, pulling it all the way down.

Your dress sagged, threatening to fall off your shoulders but you tried to grab a hold of it and keep it up, only to have it ripped from your hands. All too quickly your bra followed and soon you were naked save for your panties. You knew you should try and run, you should try and fight but you just couldn't. The alcohol was weighing you down and your actions were sluggish. You were no match for the two super soldiers.

‘God, you have no idea how perfect you are Dollface. So perfect for us.’ Bucky’s lips whispered against your skin before he latched onto your nipple, rolling the bud between his tongue and teeth as his hand kneaded the other. You gasped at the sensation and felt your body yield to his touch, pushing itself into him. Shame filled you but not for long as soon, the satin teared around your thighs as Steve ripped your panties off. You felt the bed dip as he shuffled around before finally coming to kneel between your thighs.

He sent you one devious smirk before he dived in, burying his face in your cunt. You moaned out loud at that. His tongue found your entrance swiftly and he began thrusting it in as far as he could, swiping it on your walls as he did. You writhed in Bucky’s grip as Steve moved up his tongue now lapping at your clit as his fingers curled inside you.

Steve’s ministrations on your clit and Bucky’s newly forming love bites over your chest was too much and you could feel the waves begin to peak. You knew it was wrong and you knew there was a reason that you should be running as far away as you could from them but you couldn’t. Especially when Steve’s fingers curled against you right there and a scream of pleasure was torn from your lips.

You thrashed against Bucky but his grip was like steel as he pinned you down on the bed. When your body stopped shaking, Bucky’s grip eased up - only slightly. He cast Steve a look, whose chin was coated in your slick. ‘Are you done now?’

‘Jeez Buck. You and I both know she had to be prepared.’

‘Yeah well I’m hard as a fucking rock and I’m sick of waiting.’ Steve just held his hands up in mock surrender.

‘Fine, she’s all yours now. How do you want her?’

‘Lie on the bed, on your back.’ He gestured at Steve who lay down next to you, tracing his fingers over your delicate skin. ‘Just because I’ll be fucking her cunt doesn’t mean she can’t use her mouth.’ Steve smiled, stretching his arms out behind his head.

‘Sounds good to me.’

You felt your body being jostled as Bucky forced you onto your stomach and then up onto your knees. He maneuvered you so that Steve’s impressive length was by your face. You hadn’t noticed when either man had stripped but the thought quickly fled your mind when you felt something poking around between your thighs. It was Bucky and he was coating himself in your slick.

You gasped as he thrusted in and Steve used that opportunity to slide his dick between your lips. You hadn’t seen Bucky, but from the stretch of your walls you could tell he was hung. Very well hung. His thrusts were sharp and precise and he jolted your body with each grind of his hips, forcing Steve’s cock just a little further down your throat.

You tried not to gag as you sucked Steve but it was hard, especially when his hips started thrusting up, pushing himself even further inside. Your tongue pressed against the firm vein on the underside, causing Steve to emit a low groan. ‘Fuck babygirl you feel so good on my cock. Doesn’t she feel good Buck?’

‘So. Fucking. Good.’ Each one of Bucky’s words was emphasised by a harsh rut of his hips. His fingers dug into your ass and slowly you felt them draw closer and closer to your puckered hole.

Your scream was muffled by Steve’s cock as Bucky teased one finger along the rim, slowly pushing it in. He was gentle with it, a complete contrast to how he was treating your pussy, but you knew what his endgame was. It sent a thrill through you, equal parts fear and excitement.

The pace of his finger soon increased and soon, he squeezed another in alongside it. You moaned unabashedly against Steve and you felt his hips stutter. ‘Fuck Buck, whatever you’re doing keep doing it.’ His hands gripped your hair, as though holding on for dear life as he chased his orgasm and the repetitious thrust of Bucky’s dick against your g-spot had your own in sight. ‘God, I’m gonna fucking cum.’ You moaned again, encouraging him but he didn’t need it. He thrusted his hips as far up as he could and pulled your head down to him as he came halfway down your throat. The long groan he let out had a shiver running down your spine and you could feel your pussy walls clench in anticipation. You just needed a little bit more.

Even in his post orgasmic haze, Steve seemed to sense that you were right on the edge and he quickly slipped a hand down your body, finding your little bundle of nerves. He swirled your pearl around you quaked, the need to cum almost too much to bear.

‘C’mon babygirl. Cum for us, be a good girl and cum for us.’ At Steve’s words and the way he was looking so lovingly into your eyes, you released a loud moan and did as he said. Your walls spasmed around Bucky and his own hips stuttered before he slammed into you, once, twice and then three times. You could feel his hot ribbons of cum coating your walls and you groaned. It felt so good.

‘God you’re going to look so fuckin’ precious when you’re pregnant baby.’ You couldn’t respond even if you had understood what he was saying, the desire to close your eyes and take a nap was slowly starting to over power you.

‘Oh no you don’t dollface. We’re not nearly done with you yet.’ Bucky scooped your body up and positioned you over Steve’s thighs, his cock already hard once more.

‘You’re not?’

‘Oh no sweetie, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to fuck this gorgeous ass. Plus Steve hasn’t had his turn of trying to fill you up yet.’ You nodded despite yourself, you hand trailing down Steve’s hard body to wrap around his cock. It was coated in a mixture of his own cum and your saliva but that just made it easier to pump him.

You heard a cap flip open in the background as you worked and soon Bucky was back behind you, sticking his fingers once more into your puckered hole. Only this time they were cold and left a tingling sensation. He must have gotten some lube.

‘Go on, sit on Stevie’s cock dollface. I can’t wait to see you with two cocks in you.’ You shivered at his words, excitement creeping through you. You gripped Steve’s dick and positioned him below you before you slowly sank down onto him. You could already tell that he wasn’t quite as thick as Bucky but he was definitely longer.

Your walls ached as you took him and Bucky pushed your back down so that you were leaning over Steve, your tits practically hanging in his face. You felt him press against you and you had to muffle your groan by shoving your face into Steve’s neck. The stretch was like nothing you had ever felt before. You thought that maybe if it were just Bucky it wouldn’t have been so bad and you weren’t sure your body could handle it.

‘Shhh Sweetie, it’s going to be okay. You’re taking him so well, you’re doing such a good job.’ You weren’t sure when the tears had sprung to your eyes but they slowly slipped down your cheeks as Bucky started moving his hips.

He moved them carefully, inch by inch and you knew it must have been hard for him going so slowly. His pants were filled with curse words and half formed sentences of just how fucking tight you were.

When his actions became slightly faster, Steve took that as his cue to start moving as well. You could barely breathe from the pleasure these men were giving you, the feeling of fullness was almost too much to bear. The sound of skin slapping filled the room as the gentle thrusts became rough fucking and your moans tumbled from your mouth.

‘See how much she likes this Stevie? I told you she would be perfect for us.’ Bucky’s voice was breathless and you couldn’t help but agree. The feelings they were giving you were marvelous. ‘And she’s gonna look so fuckin’ good filled with our children.’

Steve grunted below you, his hands coming up to knead your breasts. ‘These are gonna get so large, there’s gonna be so much milk for us.’ To emphasise his point, his head dipped down and he took one nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive skin.

Bucky’s hips started rutting in to you even faster and you felt his hand slide in between your body and Steve’s, his metal fingers quickly finding your clit. He played with the overly sensitive bundle of nerves and his name tumbled from your lips as you begged for him to stop or keep going you weren’t sure which.

‘You’re close aren’t you dollface?’ You nodded your head, sweat covering your skin with a sheen. ‘Well then, go on and cum for us. Cum for your new baby daddies.’ You screamed out again and you felt your walls contract, pure unadulterated pleasure coursed through your veins. Bucky lasted for a few more thrusts before he slammed himself as far as he could go and emptied himself inside you and you could feel Steve follow his example.

Your arms collapsed from under you and you fell onto Steve’s chest. His skin was slightly slippery from the sweat that coated his entire body but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were completely spent.

You cringed as Bucky pulled out of you, his cum spilling out of your ass down in between your thighs. You ached everywhere and barely even noticed when Bucky returned with a warm cloth in his hand. He gently pulled you from Steve and began cleaning up the cum that had spilt from you, occasionally scooping it up and pushing it back inside your pulsating walls.

‘I’ll call Tony in the morning and let him know you quit.’ You heard Steve’s voice rumble and confusion shot through you.

‘What? What do you mean?’

‘You’ll have to stay home and take care of the children of course.’

‘The children?’

Oh.

All of a sudden it all came back to you. Bucky’s comments about how Steve hadn’t gotten to ‘fill you up’ yet and Steve’s about your breasts. You were going to have their children.

This certainly wasn’t what you were expecting when Steve had asked you back to his place but… If they continued fucking you like they just had, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.

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