Do not try to get 'answers' right away. The ’answers' aren't immediate.
If you put your problem into 'words that others can understand', you will find a solution.
Try to clarify the subject and predicate and organise your situation and the problems you are facing.
In difficult or painful situations, just saying vaguely "I'm in trouble" or "This is not good" will not solve anything. If you just keep blurting out, "I'm kind of bothered" or "I don't feel cleared up", things will get more and more complicated.
See what is at the root of the troubling situation and ask, "What is it?" Why?"and whether or not the situation can be overcome depends on the 'question' that is puzzling you can be assembled into an approachable 'problem'.
Just thinking about it in your head does not make it a 'problem'. It is just a spinning wheel of emotions. So you need to stop that spinning once and verbalise it as a 'problem'.
In other words, putting things into words is simply stopping the emotions. Why is it impossible to verbalise the situation? It is because you have not done the work to think over your own problems.
When verbalising a problem, first write down your situation, feelings and problem in clear subject and predicate language. Or talk to someone else.
A framework of issues is then developed. This process is different from 'looking at the problem' or 'organising'. It is about putting it into concrete terms that others can understand.
Who is involved, what is happening and what emotions are inside me at the moment. You will verbalise them.
Only then can you decide whether the problem is something you can handle or whether it requires the intervention of others. Or should it be passed over or confronted? The approach will become clear.
However, before verbalisation, work to cool down the emotions is essential. This is because there are your presumptions and prejudices that can lead to violent or agitated emotions.
First, realise that you are only reacting because of your own presumptions. Then, you stop all emotions and make a state of ''flat ground'' and stop making own doubts and assumptions.
This is where the process of assembling 'questions' into 'problems' begins.
So don't be in a hurry to get 'conclusions' or 'answers', but aim first to clarify your issues in your own words and be able to bring them up in front of others.
Until someone can adequately recognize and express their own misgivings, it is needlessly challenging to attempt addressing them.
Everyone’s mood is their own responsibility. That’s the bottom line. Children blame their moods on others. Adults are aware of their moods and their causes. And a wise person knows how to free their moods from themselves. Anger can be felt without targeting someone, sadness can be felt without blaming someone, etc.
Don’t mistake this to mean we don’t need to be kind and considerate.
Kindness is a significant practice for a number of reasons but don’t expect it to change the mood of others. You may be kind and they may still be a dick in return. Kindness is not a thing some people deserve and others don’t; it is a basic recognition of non-separation between all beings.
OK SO apparently if you change your name in The Ssum to a certain something, you get an achievement in the Trivial Features.
Here are the names I tried in order:
Jumin, Jaehee and Rika didn't work.