12 Lays of Kinkmas Masterlist | OT7
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Pairing: OT7 x reader (see individual days for pairings)
Genre: holiday, smut, fluff (see individual days for specific genres)
Rating: M (18+)
Warnings: sexual situations; see individual days for specific warnings
Word Count: TBD
Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me
Summary: see under read more cut for individual summaries
A/N: Happy holidays! I will be participating in the 12 Lays of Kinkmas this year! Starting on December 14, I will post a fic a day based on the prompts created by the brilliant @goodsoop! I'll link all of the stories here, below the cut.
Read on for prompts, pairings, and summaries!
Day 1 - Taehyung x Reader: Your work rival has an unusual Secret Santa gift for you this year
Day 2 - Yoongi x Gender Neutral Reader: Gift wrapping with your boyfriend goes a little awry
Day 3 - Bi!Hoseok x Bi!Reader x Bi!Yoongi: Secrets come to light after your roommate spikes the eggnog
Day 4 - Jin x Reader: When your boyfriend won't behave at your annual office holiday party, you've no choice but to take matters into your own hands (sequel to All I Don't Want for Christmas is You!)
Day 5 - Hoseok x Reader: Your brother's best friend Hoseok really likes your cookies
Day 6 - Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook: Welcome to the Annual Woodpecker Holiday Games! Have a seat on Santa's lap and pick out your package - nice girls get one, but naughty girls get two!
Day 7 - Sub!Jungkook x Sub!Reader x Dom!Taehyung: Your boyfriend brings home a very special Christmas gift for you this year - his best friend Jungkook
Day 8 - Jimin x Reader x Jungkook x Yoongi: Everyone needs a helping hand now and then. But what are you to do when you have three friends in need and only two to give?
Day 9 - Spy!Namjoon x Spy!Reader: During a mission, you get caught in an embrace with your sworn enemy
Day 10 - Jimin x Gender Neutral Reader: "You wanna fuck in the snow?!"
Day 11 - Taehyung x Reader: Upon discovering that you and your boyfriend are planning on buying each other the same gift, you decide to try it on together first
Day 12 - Jin x Reader: Giving your fiancé his present in the early hours of Christmas morning
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© 2022 by sunshinerainbowsbts. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.
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magicshopaholic · 1 day
Seoul (Namjoon x OC)
Summary: You and Namjoon meet in Seoul again, this time as exes.
Pairing: Namjoon x OC
Genre: Fluff, angst
Word count: 13.8 K
Rating: 18+
Warnings: language, break-up, talk about parental issues, stress, infidelity, kissing
A/N: So... this got a little longer than expected. Some questions will be asked, many will be answered. A lot of holiday cheer and pretty Christmas lighting. But the best part about this fic has to be the fact that I haven't proofread it.
Set approximately nine months after Next Time but can be read standalone.
Tagging: @bbl32, @meirkive, @quarter-life-crisis2, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)
Listen to: “ghost” by parekh & singh
namjoon masterlist | main masterlist
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The last cloud floats away, and the sun peeks out apologetically. Bathed in light, the landscape looks like a colourful painting - a blue sky with a hint of purple, the edge of a green hill cutting it at an angle, and a winding road finishing it off. Visible in between two parallel rows of buildings, it feels like a glimpse of summer on a cold winter morning.
Kaya raises her phone to click a picture, ignoring her frozen fingers. This is Instagram-worthy, she decides - story only, even though she rarely posts anything else. She considers a caption for a brief moment, but it feels almost cruel to disturb the picture.
Over an hour later, when she’s in the car on her way home, her phone pings and she sees a reply to her story.
artisfolly [12:45] You’re in Seoul?
Kaya’s heart skips a beat. She suddenly realises why she’d felt the need to take a picture of that particular hill and it’s no surprise that he’s recognised it, too. His question is unexpected, though, and she can think of nothing to say but the obvious.
kaya_m [12:46] Yeah.
artisfolly [12:47] Why didn’t you tell me?
She stares at the screen, at a rare loss for words. She can’t fathom why he would ask her this, and the fact that they’re speaking to each other for the first time in nearly three months reduces her to simple honesty.
kaya_m [12:50] I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.
A beat passes. Kaya realises only a moment later how tightly she’s clutching her phone and forces her fingers to loosen up.
artisfolly [12:51] I always want to hear from you.
Another beat. Then – 
artisfolly [12:51] Can we meet for coffee?
The city is already lit up and ready for the holidays. There’s the faint sound of instrumental carols from somewhere down the street as people enter and exit shops in a flurry, all bundled up in fashionable winter wear.
Namjoon still isn’t entirely sure why he picked this place to meet up. Gangnam just made sense because it was reasonably close by, but it’s also busy - it makes him feel less exposed somehow, although he isn’t fully sure what he’s trying to stay hidden from.
He glances at the menu of the coffee cart as he waits for her. Again, it wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he’d proposed to meet up for coffee, but his mind had gone blank when he’d tried to think of a place. For some reason, all he could think about was this small cart and the fact that it had a hazelnut drink. Around two hours ago, after nearly a whole day of thinking, he’d realised he couldn’t put it off anymore and texted Kaya with the location of the department store next door.
Namjoon exhaled, trying to ignore the low hum of anxiety in his stomach. A lot had happened in the last couple of days: a new track had been submitted for approval, their appearance at the AMAs in January was under review, he had a package that was currently stuck in customs - and then he’d found out his ex-girlfriend was back in Seoul. The anxiety is warranted, he decides.
It’s a few minutes past four pm when his phone buzzes. He feels a jolt in his stomach as he answers. “Hey.”
“Hey. I, uh… I think I’m at the location…” Kaya trails off, sounding unsure. “I can’t see Aldo, though.”
Namjoon swallows; the last time they’d spoken on the phone, she’d sounded very different. His heart skips an uncomfortable beat when he thinks about it.
“Oh.” He clears his throat. “Um, where are you right now?”
“I’m at…” She trails off again, and he pictures her looking around, eyes big and upward. “Okay, I just passed Zara.”
“Okay, just keep walking straight,” he tells her, turning to face the direction he knows she’s coming from. “You’ll see an auditorium kind of thing on your left -“
“There’s just a turn here.
“Yeah, no, you’ll have to cross the street. Be careful,” he adds automatically when he hears a car horn at her end.
She says nothing to that but stays on the line. “Okay, I think I see the auditorium… is that an auditorium?”
“Kind of, I guess. Street musicians, up and comers perform there and stuff.”
“That’s nice. Did you?”
“Still a stage I have yet to conquer. Can you see me?”
“Not yet. It’s pretty crowded. Is there an inflatable Santa near you?”
Namjoon turns slightly on the spot. “There’s a 3D Santa cut-out, if that’s what you’re referring to. There’s, like, three of them, though.” He bites back an unexpected chuckle when she swears under her breath. “Try to look for a banner with the directions to Santa’s Village.”
He can hear her stop in her tracks. “A banner? Everything’s written in Hangul, Joon. Oh, hang on, I think I see shoes - it might be Aldo…”
Namjoon nods wordlessly, trying to ignore his heart racing. He tries to look over the heads of the people on the street, hoping no one recognises him as he looks for Kaya - and spots her. She looks… exactly the same, or more beautiful than every single person in Gangnam put together. Probably both. 
He can hear her murmuring on the phone, trying to look for him as well, but he can barely make out what she’s saying. He’s reminded, inexplicably, of the last time he’d seen a similar sight: London, almost two years ago. They weren’t dating yet, and he’d waited for her by the entrance of his hotel as she arrived from the station. He’d spotted her just like this in the crowd, albeit much later in the night. The moment she’d seen him, her face had broken out into a happy smile, complete with Disney princess eyes, and he’d asked her flat out to be with him two minutes later.
It’s a bittersweet memory. Namjoon blinks rapidly a few times before clearing his throat. “I can see you,” he says, hearing how low his own voice is all of a sudden.  He raises his arm halfway. “I’m here. Right in front of you.”
He registers the moment Kaya sees him. Her mouth stops moving mid-word and she halts for a moment before exhaling slightly and giving him a small, polite smile. They lower their phones at the same time and Kaya continues walking towards him, dropping hers into the small sling bag hanging from her shoulder. He notices her gaze travel up and down his figure before lingering on his chest, and he’s suddenly glad he chose the turtleneck at the last minute.
“It’s cold,” she says when she finally reaches him, rubbing her hands together and shivering slightly. 
He nods, feeling his heart leap unnecessarily. “It’ll get colder,” he informs her. “You look nice,” he says after a moment.
“Thanks. So do you.”
There’s an awkward moment of silence before she exhales. “So this is the coffee place,” she states, looking up at the lit up cart, at the fairy lights, the menu written in both English and Korean - anywhere but him, he notes. 
“Oh - uh, yeah.” He shakes his head. “You should - we should order,” he stutters, fumbling with his wallet as he fishes it out. “Sorry, I know you probably weren’t expecting this, but I couldn’t decide -”
“No, no, it’s totally fine,” she says immediately, the silver hoops in her ears glinting as she shakes her head. “This is nice. I’ll have the hazelnut, I think,” she adds, retrieving her own wallet. “Uh, one hazelnut,” she repeats to the barista, enunciating a bit and holding up a finger before turning to Namjoon.
“Oh, right. One caramel macchiato,” he adds in Korean. He pulls out two bills and is about to place them on the counter when Kaya beats him to it. “Oh, I was going to -”
“That’s alright,” she interrupts, glancing up at him with a stiff smile as though to let him know it’s still good-natured. “I can pay for my own coffee.”
They don’t say much else until two steaming lattes are placed on the counter, smelling warm and cozy. They pick up their drinks, and Namjoon is suddenly faced with the consequences of choosing an establishment with no designated seating area.
“Um…” He looks around, starting to feel a bit silly, before looking back down at her and sighing. “Do you want to walk?” he asks finally.
She seems to have already expected this. With a glint of amusement in her eyes, she nods. “Sure.”
They begin strolling down the sidewalk in Gangnam square. The place is busy and most people are bundled up, meaning it’s one of those rare occasions when Namjoon is likely to make it through unrecognised. He tenses up for a moment when he thinks about the fact that he isn’t alone, but then remembers he has no business caring about that anymore.
“So… how’ve you been?” 
Namjoon looks up, wondering where to begin. He isn’t sure how much of his post break-up state is appropriate to reveal, and if she even wants to know. He can talk about work… but even that could be a delicate topic, given recent events. 
“Not great,” he says finally, surprised at his own honesty. “You?”
She shrugs, once again not meeting his eyes. “About the same.”
He bites his lip. The distance between them, while expected, feels awful - and wrong. Namjoon takes a brave step closer to her. “How did the seminar go? The second one was in October, right?”
Kaya pauses for a fraction of a second before nodding, and Namjoon knows she’s caught the deliberate tone in the question. He doesn’t regret it, though. Forgetting the first one was bad enough; the guilt that had washed over him when he’d realised he’d missed an academic milestone in her life had been one of the last straws for him. 
“It wasn’t bad,” she says, taking a small sip of her drink and cracking a smile. “Went better than the first one. But I got to design the lecture series at the end so I guess it worked out.”
“That’s great,” he replies, meaning it. She seems taller, the top of her head almost reaching his cheek. He looks down to see her boots, long and straight up her legs… swallowing, he looks away. “You didn’t sound so good about the - about the last one,” he adds quickly, wincing a moment later.
“Yeah. That one was… way worse.” Kaya doesn’t say anymore, taking another sip instead. “Coffee’s good.”
“Yeah. We got a bunch of these delivered to the studio about a week ago. Thought you might like it.”
“Right.” She nods. “How, uh, how is the studio? And the collabs?” she tacks on at the end.
Namjoon feels his stomach twist again, his eyes falling to his cup at the mention of what was probably the breaking point of their relationship. Hwasa, Sunmi and IU. In the aftermath of their break-up, it had become increasingly clear to him that this was the core of the issue and yet, it seemed like the one thing they avoided talking about.
Kaya seems to remember, too. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to make it weird,” she mutters. 
He shakes his head. “You didn’t. Don’t worry.”
She bites her lip. “I was genuinely asking. You were working pretty hard.”
I’m working hard, too. And not just at my job.
“They’re in post production now,” he answers as they turn into a quieter street. “Except for one. It came out last month.”
“Oh, really? That’s - that’s great. Must be doing well.”
“It’s doing fine. Just finished promoting it earlier this week.”
“So does that mean you have Christmas off?” Kaya raises her eyebrows. “Must be doing really well.”
Namjoon chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t want to jinx it. I’m going over to my parents’ house tomorrow night. I’ll probably stay there for a few days.”
Their coffees are almost done now; as the sky darkens, they throw their empty cups into a trash can by the sidewalk and continue walking. Namjoon shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, glad for the momentary warmth. 
“God, it’s colder than usual,” he mutters. “You know what it reminds me of, though?”
She looks up at him with the first genuine smile of the evening. “London?”
Fucking hell. “Yeah, exactly. Except there it was cold and wet.” He shudders. “I don’t know how you made it all the way from the station with a suitcase in that weather.”
Kaya shrugs. “It wasn’t so bad. The hot shower after really helped,” she adds absently.
It’s not super high up in the list of things Namjoon wants to be reminded of right now, the image of her in his shower. What’s up, boyfriend? she’d greeted him when she’d stepped out, wrapped in a towel, her wet hair swept over one shoulder. The memory makes him smile involuntarily.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” He straightens his face. “I read that Sean Scully was touring Europe again. Did you get to go?”
She sighs hugely and groans. “No, work piled up way too much. But, I found out he was going to be in Belgium and he was putting up some of his figurations on sale,” she says, shaking her head already, “and I started saving up - and I mean saving up. And two months later, the sale happened, and the painting was nowhere to be seen.”
“Wow. You know, some of his stuff is in the National Gallery here, too,” he says, pointing generically behind him. “We can - I mean, you should check it out… if you have time,” he adds lamely.
“Yeah, probably. I’ve been checking out more indie stuff lately, though - but, yeah, maybe.”
“Oh, is that why you were in Hongdae yesterday?”
“Yesterday? No, I was there to see a play.”
Namjoon frowns. “In English?”
He bites his lip, trying not to laugh, but gives up a moment later. “Are you serious?”
“Shut up,” she mutters, looking adorably embarrassed and nudging him with her elbow. “Jae-lin wanted me to come along.”
Ah. “And there was no way you could say no to her,” he finishes in understanding.
“Exactly. Even the best of us have some weak spots.” She peers at something across from him on the other side of the street. “Hey, is that an ATM?” She stops and looks up at him. “Do you mind? I just need to -”
“No, go ahead. I’ll grab a bottle of water.” He watches her jog across the empty street and enter the vestibule before he ducks into the convenience store behind him. It’s easier than he’d expected, being around her - except for the part where he wishes he could forget for a moment that they aren’t together anymore.
As he wordlessly passes the bottle to the cashier, he wonders for what feels like the millionth time in the last three months if this was the right decision. It had felt like it at the time. The snapping and the fighting was becoming more frequent than before, but at least that was mutual. Disappointing her each time was too much, though, and before he knew it, he was doing the one thing to ensure he didn’t hurt her anymore.
“Thank you,” he mutters to the shopkeeper and exits the shop. The cold air hits him again and it feels as though the sky has gotten several shades darker in the last few minutes. His eyes go straight to the ATM, noting two or three more people apparently in line, before he spots Kaya among them. Her uncertain expression, ducked head and hunched shoulders tell him everything he needs to know, and all thoughts of their break-up disappear in an instant.
Striding over, Namjoon registers three other men, two behind her, seemingly chuckling at something the third is saying to Kaya. It’s clear she isn’t able to understand him, but his proximity to her is enough for Namjoon to automatically feel his pulse race in annoyance.
“Which - country?” The third guy says in English, louder and more deliberate. Before Kaya can answer, Namjoon reaches over and wraps his hand around her wrist, gently tugging her out of there. The relief in her face is brief but evident, and she immediately falls into step beside him as they walk away.
“You alright?” he asks in a low voice, dropping her wrist but staying close to her. “Do you have your wallet and everything?”
She nods and exhales, her arm brushing his shoulder. “Yeah,” she murmurs, her voice shaking slightly. “Thanks.” She doesn’t move away from him, not until they turn into a busier street. It’s more brightly lit, with Christmas decorations and fake snow everywhere, and Namjoon can’t help but feel sorry when she finally takes a step to her right and the familiar scent of coconut and vanilla disappears.
They don’t speak again for a while but unlike when they’d initially met at the coffee cart, Namjoon doesn’t feel pressured to make conversation. Some kind of ice between them seems to have broken and he suddenly feels a lot more secure in the fact that she’s here with him, that they’re here together.
“Oh, my God!” Kaya gasps suddenly, halting in her tracks and clutching his arm, and for a moment Namjoon thinks the creepy men are back.
“What?” he asks hurriedly, looking around and automatically stepping closer to her.
She doesn’t seem to notice. “What - the hell - is that?” she stutters, pointing shakily at something in front of her. Namjoon follows her finger, expecting danger, only to find something even more terrifying.
“Oh,” he exhales, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. He wracks his brain for an appropriate explanation but soon gives. “That’s… yeah, that’s a cardboard cut-out of Taehyung.”
Kaya looks up at him incredulously. “It - what?” She turns back to the six foot tall cut-out of Taehyung in a suit, smirking and making a finger heart, before she looks behind it to see the rest of it. 
“Okay, Namjoon, there’s no easy way to ask this,” she begins, taking a step back, “but why is there a shrine to Taehyung in the middle of Seoul?”
Namjoon chuckles, a little embarrassed. “It’s his birthday in a week, so… they do this every year. Birthdays are a big deal around here,” he adds, following her as she gingerly continues down the aforementioned shrine.
“No, I get that,” she says slowly, lightly touching a fringe of sparkly streamers bordering a photo booth. “This is just…” She trails off, looking up at the fake snow and candy canes decorating a line of photo cards and smaller cardboard cut-outs.
“A lot, I know.”
“Kind of sweet,” she finishes. “You know, once you get used to it.” She stops at a wall-sized poster of the entire group, a shot from their last concert in the summer. Namjoon isn’t sure, but he thinks her gaze is lingering on him in the corner, hair a lighter blond than it is now.
My man looks so fucking sexy in a suit.
“What about you?”
It takes Namjoon a moment to focus. “Uh, what about me?”
“Does this happen for everyone’s birthday?” She raises her eyebrows playfully. “Was there a life-size Kim Namjoon here, too?”
“God, no,” he says, shuddering a bit. “Although there is a graffiti drawing of my face back in Ilsan. It’s actually pretty good!” he exclaims when she laughs, feeling his cheeks grow warm. “I’ve only seen pictures, anyway. I guess I’ll see it when I go back tomorrow.”
“Spend some good old quality time with it?”
“Not that much time. Our schedule starts on the…” He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to recall. “Twenty-eighth, I think. Need to double check that.” He opens his eyes to see Kaya frowning.
“You’re working on New Year’s?”
“Yeah,” he says, shrugging. “New Year’s Eve special in New York. Holidays, birthdays… doesn’t really matter,” he adds, hearing a note of bitterness in his own voice. He stops by a pop-up stall. “Honestly, it’s a miracle we got Christmas off.”
Kaya stops beside him, facing him slightly. “I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “About your birthday. I didn’t forget,” she clarifies when he looks up. “I thought about texting or something, but… it was just too soon.”
Namjoon nods, feeling his heart clench a little. That hadn’t been a good day. “I get it. It was less than a week after… everything.”
“Yeah. Didn’t think you’d be working, though.”
“I didn’t mind. Kept me occupied.”
She bites her lip, glancing over at the collectibles. Namjoon watches her, recalling with a heavy heart just how much he’d been hoping she’d call. It hadn’t been fair to expect it, given that he’d ended things just a few days prior. He’d tried to do it as amicably as possible, tried to reassure her that it had nothing to do with how he felt - it was just a consequence of their situation. Long time coming, he’d said. Despite that, he’d kept his phone on all day, hoping that at least special events would mean he could hear her voice again. 
“I did… wait,” he confesses after a moment. “I thought we ended on good terms.”
Kaya exhales, and he can see her defenses go up. “We did. That’s why we’re here right now.”
“Three months later.”
“Yeah, well. I needed time to process it,” she counters, folding her arms across her chest. “You really caught me off guard.”
Namjoon lowers his head, unsurprised at her astute observation. He had caught her off guard - and not accidentally. He can still remember the rain in the background, the sound of the people around her as he revealed what he’d been thinking for a few days by then. Most of all, he can remember how confused she’d sounded. That had been the worst part: her confusion. Sadness, anger, denial; he would’ve chosen all of them over her uncertainty, how she’d taken a few minutes to realise what he was proposing, by which time it was too late to argue.
“I wouldn’t have been able to go through it otherwise,” he confesses quietly.
After what seems like several minutes, Kaya sighs. “Well. In the spirit of processing things,” she begins, and he looks up to see her reaching for one of the small stuffed toys on the cart, “a belated happy birthday.” She hands it to him.
“Thanks. And thank you for…” He looks down at the toy and back up at her. “... for this stuffed doll of Taehyung?”
“A stuffed doll of Taehyung holding a wreath,” she points out, jabbing a finger at the plastic decoration. “And wearing a Santa hat.”
“Wow. This is, uh…” He looks back at the doll, stitched down to immaculate detail. “... so terrifying.”
Kaya laughs. “What are you talking about? He’s a good-looking kid.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want a voodoo doll of him staring at me while I’m, like, changing or something.”
“Well, that’s your punishment for breaking up with me while I was running late to class,” she says lightly, already handing cash to the shopkeeper.
“Fair enough,” he mutters, stuffing the silly doll deep into the pocket of his jacket as they begin walking away.
“So?” she continues as they stroll down the street. “How are the other guys?”
“Good, mostly. Pretty tired.” 
“And your parents? Your family and everyone?”
“Also good.” He pauses. “My mom asked about you.”
“She did?” Kaya sounds surprised.
“Yeah,” he answers, nodding. “Nothing specific. Just how you were doing and stuff.”
She’s quiet for a moment, hands tucked into her elbows. “You didn’t tell her?”
“Not yet.” Namjoon bites his lip, realising only at this moment, that it’s because he was hoping he wouldn’t have to at all. “Guess I’ll have to, soon enough.”
“Believe it or not, it was hard to tell my mom, too.” She squeezes his forearm sympathetically. “Although, if I’m being honest, the hardest person to break it to was Jae-lin,” she adds.
He snickers. “Really?”
“Yup. And not to pressure you or anything, but she’s expecting some seriously deep music to drop soon.”
His heart jolts uncomfortably. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
When he says no more, he notices Kaya give him a curious sideways glance. “And speaking of my sixteen year old cousin’s obsessions,” she begins, the forced upward lilt in her voice evident, “what about Taehyung and Dilara Komyshan?”
“Oh, who knows with them,” he replies absently, stretching out his neck before looking back down to see her raised eyebrows. “No, they’re dating now. Officially.”
“Wow. Score. For Tae, I mean,” she clarifies.
“I agree. They went on some trip or something recently.”
“Ah, the honeymoon phase,” she says knowingly, shaking her head. “Children.”
“He’s happy now. And I mean too happy,” grumbles Namjoon. “He’s smiling into his phone all the time like an idiot; I swear, he looks high.”
Kaya snorts. “Wow, single people really are bitter.” When he doesn’t respond, she looks up, biting her lip awkwardly. “Too weird?”
He winces theatrically. “A little bit.”
She chuckles. “Sorry.” 
They stop at a traffic light, waiting to cross the street. The sky is dark now, but the area has never looked more lively. Namjoon is suddenly glad he asked her to meet today; the closer Seoul gets to Christmas, the prettier it looks.
Which reminds him.
He glances at her beside him; they’re both standing tilted towards each other, almost automatically. To anyone else, it might look like they’re midway in conversation. 
“By the way,” he begins, shifting to face her. She does the same, her silver hoops catching the light again. Namjoon pauses; there’s a certain science to this, a certain combination of elements that will get him the reaction he wants - or at least the one he’s hoping for.
Hands deep in his pockets, he lowers his head slightly to look her in the eyes. Disney princess eyes. His blond hair falls onto his forehead and he gives her a small smile, just enough for a dimple to appear. His gaze drops to her mouth before meeting her eyes again. 
“You look really pretty,” he says, meaning it, hearing his voice low and deep. The flicker in her eyes makes his heart race, but he holds it, waiting for her response. 
“Thanks. You look…” Kaya swallows visibly and her gaze falls, lingering near his chest for a moment. Thank God for the damn turtleneck. Namjoon is almost anxious at how she’ll finish her sentence.
“... really pretty, too.”
“Huh.” He nods. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She pauses, clearly awkward. “The blond suits you,” she adds, reaching up as if to touch his hair but stopping herself at the last moment.
“Yeah, it’s, uh… the stylists like it,” he replies lamely, running his fingers through his long hair.
“They’re doing a good job, I guess. You’re looking thinner,” she murmurs, her eyes on his chest and shoulders before they dart up to him. “Not in a bad way,” she says quickly. “Or - or a good way. I was just… it was just an observation.” She shakes her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s okay,” he says simply, placing a light hand on her back as they cross the road. “I haven’t had a lot of time to hit the gym lately. I’ve lost a bit of muscle mass. What about you?” he asks after a moment, feeling his gaze drop to her hips as she walks a step ahead of him, before averting them with an effort.
She turns around and waits for him to catch up, raising her eyebrows. “Am I losing muscle mass?”
“No, are you… you know. Taking care of yourself and everything,” he clarifies. “Eating well, locking your door… that stuff.”
She laughs without humour. “Remember when I told you I was saving up for that Sean Scully painting? Yeah, that means two whole months of nothing but instant noodles.”
Namjoon stares at her, unamused, until she looks up at him. “Are you serious right now?”
Kaya raises her eyebrows. “Are you? Do you seriously think you get to lecture me on a healthy diet?”
“God, I hate it when you have a point.”
“Which is often,” she says fairly, nudging his shoulder playfully. She looks around then, frowning slightly. “Wait, I thought we were going to your car. How far away did you park it?”
“Not that far, actually. There’s a shorter route through the alleys inside,” he explains. “I just thought you might… feel safer this way. Out in the open.”
He wonders for a moment if he’s made it weird again, for he can’t decipher Kaya’s expression. She licks her lips and looks at the ground, but before he can begin getting anxious about it, she looks up.
“I always feel safe with you,” she says calmly, gesturing for him to start walking again.
As he falls into step beside her, Namjoon feels, for the first time all evening, as though he finally knows what he wants. He sees her hand by her side as she walks, half-covered by the sleeve of her dark striped sweater, her nails painted black. 
He imagines what it would be like to hold it; lightly at first, fingers grazing her palm before linking their fingers together. Holding it tight then, tugging her closer to him, feeling her long hair brush his chest… for a moment, Namjoon feels like crying.
“Wow, I didn’t realise how hungry I was.” 
Kaya breaks him out of his reverie, and he looks up to see her peering at a passing tteokbeoki stall. 
“Do you want to get some?” he asks, although he can’t imagine eating anything right now.
She waves her hand. “No, I’m good. Ji-eun’s making dinner and she’ll kill me if I ruin it.”
“Yeah? What’s she making?”
“Not sure. Something with noodles.”
Namjoon laughs. “Sounds about right. She may have grown up in America but she’s Korean at heart.”
“Completely.” Kaya shivers as a cold wind blows. “And Korean by blood, clearly, because there is no way winters back home were this cold.”
“Yeah, the winds are a bit harsh,” he acknowledges fairly. “Why did you decide to visit in the winter anyway? There’s a reason tourism is at an all-time low this time of the year.”
“Oh… my mom wanted to visit. Said she wanted to spend Christmas with family.”
There’s something off in Kaya’s tone, but Namjoon doesn’t want to pry. Not too blatantly, at least.
“Don’t you usually go to Connecticut to spend Christmas with her?” he asks.
“Yeah.” She nods, falling quiet for a few seconds. “She’s dating this guy,” she blurts out. “And they’ve been going out for a few months and it sounded like everything was fine, but I think - and I’m pretty sure I’m right - that he asked her to spend Christmas with his family. And it freaked her out,” she finishes, breathing slightly heavily.
Namjoon doesn’t say anything for a moment. From the way the words tumbled out of her mouth, it’s clear she’s been waiting to talk about it.
“Is it the dating part?” he asks gently.
“No,” she mumbles, looking at the ground as she steps within the tiles. “My dad’s been gone ten years, you know? I’m glad she’s dating. But when she does things like this, I know it’s because she’s scared. And I just wish she wasn’t.”
He frowns. “Did she actually tell you about him asking her to come over for Christmas?”
She opens her mouth but deflates. “Not exactly,” she admits. “But I know I’m right. The way she sounded, the words she used - she was avoiding talking about it.”
Like mother, like daughter. “Why don’t you just ask her?” he suggests. “You and your mom are close, aren’t you?”
She bites her lip and shakes her head. “I can’t tell her what to do. It’s not up to me to tell her how to move on from her dead husband.”
Namjoon touches her elbow, wishing he could do so much more. “I didn’t say to tell her anything. I said you could ask her. She knows you just want her to be happy, right?”
Kaya swallows, stopping as the parking lot comes into sight. “And then what? We talk about it? Because I’m such an expert on how to be happy?”
There’s a moment of heartbreaking silence before she looks up and blinks. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.”
He frowns. “It’s okay -“
“No, it’s not. This isn’t your problem anymore, and we don’t -“
“Kaya.” He gives her a look when she stops talking abruptly. “You know, I didn’t intend for… this to mean that we cut each other out of our lives. You can still talk to me,” he says earnestly. He sighs and looks at his feet. “I know there are still things that I can't talk about with anyone but you,” he admits quietly.
He watches her expression change from confusion to curiosity, and then to a kind of concern. Her shoulder makes a movement and he wonders wildly, hopefully, if she meant to reach for him.
“Like what?” she asks softly.
Now that she’s asked, the words seem impossible to say. Namjoon looks down at his hands, feeling months worth of anxiety creep in again.
“I think I’m losing my touch,” he says finally, still not looking up at her. “With songwriting, producing… everything. I’m not… I can’t…” He trails off, wincing in irritation as he struggles to recall English words for his exact emotions. “I can’t write anymore. And the more I can’t… the more I have no idea who I am anymore.”
From the corner of his eye, he sees Kaya watching him closely, her forehead in a frown. “Why?”
“I don’t know. The words just aren’t coming. The music… I can’t hear it in my head the same -“
“No, I meant,” she interrupts him, and gives him an apologetic look when he meets her eyes again. “I meant… why don’t you know who you are anymore?”
“Because if I’m in the studio for hours and hours and I can’t actually… produce anything, or create anything, then what the hell am I doing in there?” If I’m in the studio for hours and hours, what does it all matter if I don’t have you?
“Joon…” She takes a step closer to him. “You’re… it’s recency bias. You’ve been producing great stuff all year. Didn’t BTS just win, like, five awards at the MAMAs?”
“Yeah, but not for anything I wrote,” he counters immediately. “And that’s fine. We always win for the popular hits, and that’s fine with me. I just… I can’t write anymore,” he says in a small voice. “The words aren’t coming.”
Her eyes flicker, as though searching for the right words. He knows it’s far out of left field for her, that a lot of his work is something she can’t contribute a lot to, choosing to primarily listen. 
“Well…” She sounds a bit uncertain. “What did you write about before?”
He shrugs, looking away. “Just stuff. Things that made me happy, things that made me sad.”
“And you don’t have those things anymore?”
Namjoon doesn’t know how much clearer he can make it without risking losing even the last remaining fragments of her in his life. “Not the ones that make me happy,” he states, meeting her gaze.
Somewhere, a Christmas carol begins on a loudspeaker, sleigh bells in the background. Bright lights flicker on, jerking them out of their conversation.
Kaya takes a step back, exhaling shakily. “It’s getting colder,” she mutters. “Is that your car?” she asks, tilting her head towards something behind him. Before he can answer, she begins walking over.
Namjoon follows her slowly, knowing their conversation is over. He waits until he’s a few feet away from the car to open it. She doesn’t enter immediately, though; looking up at him from across the bonnet of his Mercedes, she gives him a small, sad sort of smile.
“I’m glad you messaged me yesterday,” she says softly.
“So am I.” He swallows, his heart sinking at the realisation that their evening is at an end, whether he wants it to be or not. “Come on. Let’s get you home before Jieun kills you.”
“And he crosses the finish line,” murmurs Kaya in humour as Namjoon slowly pulls into Jieun’s driveway before stopping the car. There’s teasing in her tone, but also a hint of pride, for he really has come a long way since she’d first started teaching him how to drive two years ago.
He doesn’t look at her, though, choosing to stare out of the windshield with a pensive look on his face - the same one he’s had for the entire drive.
Kaya deflates slightly. “Thanks for the ride.”
“How could I have let you go?” 
It’s a whisper, but on a quiet street and inside a crowded car, it feels like he’s shouted it from the rooftops. Kaya says nothing, choosing to stare at her lap instead, for she isn’t altogether surprised. The way he’d begun looking at her as the evening progressed, eyes softer and warmer with each minute, some of the things he’d said; the poet in him might have thought he was being subtle, but Kaya knew him well enough to know where his mind was at.
Namjoon, meanwhile, is still in the midst of his crisis. “How - how could I have thought that was the right decision? How could you have let me?”
She bristles. “What?”
“No, I’m - I’m not… I’m not actually blaming you,” he stutters, glancing briefly at her, as though just remembering he’s not alone. “I just can’t believe…” He sighs, running a hand over his face. “God, I fucked up.”
When she’d gotten the call three months ago, her first emotion had been surprise. It had been a long time since Namjoon had called her, despite his best efforts to. Their conversations had turned terse and short, with more passive aggressive statements going back and forth than actual talk about their lives. 
It had been a busy day and Kaya already had a lot on her mind, so when he’d broken up with her with barely any warning during a busy evening on campus, she’d been furious. Not at first; no, at first she’d been confused, then in denial, then in class, then busy - very busy - until something had finally forced her to face the fact that she’d been dumped over the phone by the love of her life.
He’d said many things, the first being that he loved her. He missed her, cared about her, and hated being a dick to her - so he wasn’t going to do it anymore. Throughout, through all the sadness and heartbreak, her anger at how he’d deliberately chosen a Wednesday evening in Amsterdam time to break up with her was the worst, because he’d more or less ensured that she wouldn’t be able to argue back.
I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it otherwise.
It’s probably true, and Kaya remembers being annoyed by it even a couple of hours ago. Now, though, surprisingly, she finds herself wanting to comfort him.
“Namjoon -”
“No, you know what?” He interrupts her. “I know I was wrong. I know I was too busy and I wasn’t making the time, and I was taking out my stress on you, but -” He shakes his head, and she realises he’s glaring at her. “You weren’t being honest about what was really bothering you.”
She raises her eyebrows. “I - what?”
He gives her a look, indicating he isn’t fooled. “You know what I’m talking about, Kaya.”
“No, I don’t. And… we don’t need to talk about this,” she mutters hurriedly, unbuckling her seatbelt when he grabs her wrist.
“Wait, come on,” he says quickly, stopping her. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to start a fight. Or maybe I am,” he says after a moment. “If that’s what it’ll take to finally talk about this.”
Kaya hesitates. “You talk about this stuff when you’re together,” she reminds him in a low voice. “And we’re not together.”
“I know.” He gives her a long look, almost pleading, before speaking again, slower and more deliberate. “I’m saying… I want to talk about it.”
“Fine,” she says finally, sitting back in her seat. “Go ahead.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Me?”
“Yes. You’re the one who wants to talk about it.”
“No, I want you to admit what was really bothering you,” he corrects her, giving her a knowing look.
She frowns, puzzled, even as her heart begins to race uncomfortably. “What are you talking about? We were apart, there was distance… wasn’t that the whole problem?”
“That’s a pretty macro way to look at it.” When she gives him a look, he nods, satisfied. “That’s right. I didn’t date an Economics research student for a year and half and not learn a few words along the way.”
Kaya’s mouth twists as she tries to suppress a smile. “No way. You’re not allowed to make me laugh right now.” When he raises his hands in apology and gestures for her to continue, his dimple still faintly visible, she sighs. “Fine. It was… it felt like it was waiting for the other shoe to drop, okay? Long distance is always hard, and we made it last for a really long time.” She shakes her head forlornly. “It was like watching a tornado approach. I guess I just wanted to spare myself the pain of a long, gruesome… demise of a relationship.” 
Namjoon folds his arms across his chest. “You’re lying.”
Her eyes widen. “What? What are you - how dare you -”
“Kaya, don’t fuck with me, alright? I can read between the lines - I basically already know what it is, so why don’t you just admit it?”
“I am,” she exclaims defiantly. “I was afraid, we weren’t talking, we were drifting apart - what else is there?”
“Why were you afraid?”
“Why is anyone ever afraid in a relationship, Namjoon?”
“No, why were you afraid - and why did it come up only when I started working on my collabs?”
“Because I was afraid you were going to cheat on me!” Kaya huffs and sinks back into her seat, glaring out the window as she feels the corners of her eyes prickling at the memory. 
Neither of them speaks for a few moments. It feels like the invisible wall that’s existed between them all evening has finally been broken down, wrecking ball and all, to leave a pile of cold, hard truths.
“Why didn’t you say something?” he asks finally. He doesn’t sound satisfied; on the contrary, he sounds almost disappointed. It breaks her heart just a little.
“Because it’s humiliating to admit that,” she mutters, still not looking at him. “Because if there was one thing that made us work, it was that neither of us was clingy. But if I started acting insecure just because you were suddenly working long hours with beautiful women, then -” She shrugs, feeling ridiculous. “I was officially a clingy girlfriend.”
“Clingy? Kaya, you’re as far from clingy as a partner can be. We both are - we work crazy hours, we’ve gone days without talking and it never mattered. I could never think you’re a clingy girlfriend. And I would never cheat on you,” he adds firmly. 
Something settles in Kaya’s chest. “You know, that’s all I needed to hear?” she says, finally looking up at him. He looks almost wounded, his blond bangs thick and falling onto his forehead. “I didn’t actually think you would go ahead and - and have an affair or anything. I just needed that reassurance - I would’ve believed you in a second. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I wasn’t sure – but I suspected it. And honestly, I was a little insulted,” he adds sullenly, “because I didn’t think I’d ever given you a reason to doubt me.”
The truth of that statement is too painful, enough to make Kaya fall silent. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs abashedly. “I was too proud to say it. It’s just… these things happen. When there’s distance and stress and - and then there’s physical distance… it’s not outlandish to think something could happen. I don’t know how it works with celebrities,” she adds, shrugging heavily. “I just know I see a different story on Just Jared every other day and… well, we’ve already established that I was afraid,” she finishes, not knowing what else to say. “I was being crazy.”
She can feel Namjoon’s gaze on her, but she doesn’t look up until he sighs and touches her hand.
“You weren’t being crazy. I mean, I thought you were,” he amends, giving her a momentary smile, “but… okay, after we broke up, I was in the studio with Sunmi, right? And I must have looked like hell because she asked me if I’d had a fight with my girlfriend. It was too hard to correct her, so I - I didn’t,” he admits, wincing slightly.
“Anyway… then, out of the blue, she told me she had a boyfriend. And then a minute after that, she told me wasn’t bragging, but she was making it clear that nothing could happen between us. And then I was, like, what? and she said that in her experience, whenever two people had problems with their partners, they ended up hooking up. And she had no intention of doing so with me while we were both in committed relationships,” he finishes, shaking his head a bit. “So, no. You weren’t crazy.”
Kaya picks at a loose thread on her black jeans. It’s cathartic for all this to finally come out, but she can’t help but feel as though it’s only given their separation a kind of finality. Now that you’ve talked about it, you can move on in peace.
“I really missed you,” she murmurs, not looking at him. “And it felt like you didn’t, not as much. It seemed like the first time we weren’t in sync, you know?” She shrugs, her throat starting to tighten. “It scared me.”
“Kaya, you have no idea how much I missed you,” says Namjoon heavily. He doesn’t say the next bit, but it seems like a logical completion.
“God. Imagine if we’d just had this conversation back then,” he laments, running a tired hand through his hair. 
“Yeah. You can cut yourself some slack, though,” she adds, glancing up at him meekly. “We both fucked up.”
Namjoon nods, giving her that same longing look that he’d begun when they’d entered Santa’s Village in Gangnam, before looking away. 
“Have you… you know. Moved on?” he ventures, giving her a sideways glance.
She shrugs. “Define moved on.”
“You know. Are you - are you dating anyone?”
Am I ever. “Well,” she begins, taking note of how his shoulders stiffen next to her, “there was this grad student who tried to kiss me in the library, after which I ran away and cried for half an hour in the girls’ bathroom.” She raises her eyebrows. “Does that count?”
Namjoon’s head darts around to look at her. “He did what? Are you okay? Are you - did he hurt you?”
“What? No, no - it wasn’t like that,” she says immediately, shaking her head. “It was the day after you broke up with me and I hadn’t quite had the time to… deal with it yet,” she explains, giving him a reproachful look. “And I guess I’d mentioned sometime offhandedly that I was single, which he seemed to take as permission to try something and… then I told him to get lost.”
Dude, I have a boyfriend! had been her exact words to him, once she’d pushed him away and wiped her mouth in horror. 
No, you don’t! he’d retorted, a lanky, brown-haired guy with glasses, sounding more confused than anything. 
It had taken someone else to yell it at her for it to sink in, deeply, hurtfully, all the way down at the bottom of her stomach that she, indeed, did not have a boyfriend anymore, that Kim Namjoon was no longer hers - and everyone knew it.
“Why - why did you cry?” Namjoon asks, a note of concern audible.
“Because it felt weird, kissing someone else,” she admits, unable to look at him. “Felt wrong. Like I was cheating on you. What about you?” she asks after a moment. “Have you moved on?”
Namjoon gives her a look. “Does it look like I’ve moved on?”
“Uh-uh. This is not a topic where you can give me a cryptic answer like that.”
He sighs hugely. “No, Kaya, I haven’t,” he clarifies, almost indulgently. “It’s going to take a lot more than three months to move on from you.”
She tries to ignore how her heart zooms at his words, but it’s impossible. Clenching her jaw to keep from smiling, she takes a deep breath. “Wow, we were really late having this conversation,” she echoes his previous remark.
There’s a pregnant pause, with a world of possibilities visible in a single second.
“It doesn’t have to be,” murmurs Namjoon, and the hope in his voice makes her heart skip a beat. He waits for her to look at her. “What do you think? Can we give this another shot, baby?”
Screw you, Kim Namjoon. Kaya hates and loves in equal measure just how well he knows the right words to say to her. Her stomach flutters - butterflies, probably - while a warmth seems to course through her entire body, down to the tips of her fingers.
His face is inches away from hers. In the darkness of the car, with only the Christmas lights from Jieun’s house being the lone bright spot, and she tries to recall the last time he’d ever kissed her.
“I think…” She trails off, unable to think straight with how intensely he’s watching her. She tries again. “I think… I can’t have this conversation with that creepy doll staring at me.”
When Namjoon glances in confusion at the Taehyung doll they’d propped up on the dashboard before they’d begun driving, Kaya uses the opportunity to open her car door and step out. She hears him chuckle before following suit, and goes around the front of the car to join him by the driver’s side where he’s leaning against the door.
“Told you it was a creepy-ass doll.”
“And you were right.” Kaya stops in front of him and almost wishes she’d risked staying inside with the stupid doll. Tall and broad-shouldered, he suddenly takes her breath away. Maybe it’s the black turtleneck and grey jacket combination, maybe it’s the blond hair falling into his eyes and brushing the top of his collar, maybe it’s the familiar, woodsy cologne that she’s only noticed now that they’re out of the car. Either way, she can’t speak for a moment.
“So?” He raises his eyebrows, looking earnest and hopeful and heartbreakingly handsome all at once. “Do you think we can try this again?”
She shivers. “I…” It’s getting harder to breathe, and not just because of how he looks. This is so much more complicated than he’s making it sound. “I think.. we should sleep on it.”
Namjoon raises his eyebrows, apparently processing her answer.
She tries not to hurry her next words. “Look, I know we got all our issues out right now, but… our problems, they’re not going to go away. It’s still going to be the long distance thing, we’ll still have rough patches because of work… and I don’t think I can go through this break-up again.”
He frowns at the ground. “Why do you think we’ll break up again?” he asks, and she can tell he’s working to keep his tone neutral.
“Because making up this time isn’t going to last,” she says softly. He drags his gaze to look up at her then, and she can tell that he knows she’s right. “I just think… I think if we’re going to think about getting back together, we need to have some kind of view on - on what’s going to happen.” She swallows, wondering if he’s caught on to her hesitance to say the word. “Our situation… there’s a lot to think about. And I’m not just talking about the long distance.”
After what feels like an eternity, he nods. “That’s fair,” he says, but she thinks she can sense an undertone of disappointment. “It was just easy to forget, you know?” He shrugs and drops his gaze.
“I know.” And she did. She’d been starting to forget as well; it was too natural to fall into old habits. The way he’d rescued her from the guys at the ATM, the way she’d offered him the chocolate candy that came with her coffee without thinking, how he’d pulled her behind him when he thought he’d noticed someone pointing their phone at him; each of those moments had felt like déjà vu, except totally and completely real.
“That’s what made us kind of great,” she points out after a moment, wrapping her jacket tightly around her. “We always kept each other grounded.”
“So we’re sleeping on it?” Namjoon asks after a moment, looking up.
Kaya nods. “Yeah. Just so we’re sure.”
“I’m leaving for Ilsan tomorrow,” he reminds her.
“Good. That gives us a deadline.” 
“Right.” Namjoon exhales. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.” He turns to open the door behind him when something grips at her heart.
“Wait, um -“ She breaks off, turning to glance at the house for a moment. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”
As expected, he shakes his head. “Oh, I - I couldn’t. But thanks.”
“I’m serious. Jieun always makes a ton of food.”
“Yeah, but…” Namjoon looks unsure. “I don’t think I’ll be welcome, right? Your ex-boyfriend… having dinner with your family?”
Kaya has never hated that word more, but she rallies. “I’m inviting you,” she points out. “And no one is going to make you feel unwelcome, I promise. They all love you. Please?” she appeals again. “I… I don’t want the evening to be over just yet.”
That seems to do the trick. Namjoon tilts his head the same way he always does when he wants to give her something but is prevented from it. “I - are you sure? You’re really close with your aunt. And your cousin.”
“Jieun’s always liked you. And believe me, with Jae-lin there, I’ll only be the second happiest person in that house if you join,” she informs him, rolling her eyes. He chuckles and her heart flutters at the sight of his dimple. “My mom’s inside. You should say hi.”
After a moment, he nods. “Okay. Let’s go,” he says, taking a step towards her, his hand gently hovering over her back as they make their way to the house. “I really do think you should ask Jieun, though. Just in case.”
“Jesus, don’t worry…”
“No, but what if she actually says no…”
Jieun doesn’t say no. In fact, Kaya’s aunt, more like a sister to her than her actual cousin sister, seems only mildly surprised but tells him he’s welcome. Her husband Jack seems not to notice anything strange at all, while Jae-lin seems absolutely thrilled that Namjoon is back.
“Oh, no, not - not exactly,” Kaya had said when Jae-lin had asked, point blank, if they were back together. There had been no further explanation, and her cousin had been enlisted to set the table and minimise the awkwardness.
“Sorry,” she’d muttered to Namjoon as they reached the dining table, looking up to see him both relieved and amused.
“Don’t worry about it,” he’d replied softly, reaching out behind her to pull out a chair and taking the one next to her. All through dinner, it felt as though nothing had changed, really. Jieun seemed to be enjoying some private joke as she watched them, sharing knowing looks with Kaya’s mother across the table, while Jae-line monopolised Namjoon completely, chattering away in Korean with no attention to anyone else.
Namjoon, ever the gentleman, engaged her fully; there wasn’t a moment where he tried to stop the conversation, his arm on the back of Kaya’s chair the entire time. Kaya stayed in conversation with Jack and her mother as much as she could, hoping that they wouldn’t allude to the situation at all.
Meeting her mother’s gaze was the hardest - not because Kaya was afraid she would disapprove, but because of how openly happy she looked. 
“Mom, we’re not back together yet,” she’d murmured halfway through dinner, when her mother had given her yet another glowing, knowing, mom look.
“I know,” she’d replied, glancing at Namjoon over Kaya’s shoulder, “but you want to be.”
Did she? Kaya didn’t know. She was sure what she felt for him, even what he possibly felt for her. She knew they were happy with each other, understood each other, had an unimaginable amount of affection for each other. 
But she didn’t know if she could do this again. As she sat next to Namjoon, feeling their shoulders brush occasionally and hearing his deep laugh next to her, she knew that “sleeping on it” would be far easier said than done.
“Thank you for dinner,” he says an hour later, bowing slightly to Jieun, Jack and her mother. “I had a great time.”
“I’ll walk you out,” says Kaya quickly, already turning towards the door, when Jae-lin pipes up.
“Oh, I’ll come, too!” she volunteers excitedly in English, and before anyone can say anything, sweeps by them and opens the front door. 
A moment of silence follows before Namjoon speaks. “Sure, lead the way,” he says, smiling at her and squeezing Kaya’s hand apologetically. It’s the only thing that keeps Kaya from saying anything, even as the three of them exit the house into the cold night.
She trails behind them, arms folded across her chest, as she listens to them converse in Korean again. For all she knows, Jae-lin has just resumed their conversation from dinner, the words blending into each other for Kaya. With Korean-American parents, Jae-lin speaks both Korean and English with ease. Right now, though, Kaya wishes she would just stop speaking.
“Wow, what a sexy car,” says Jae-lin in wonder, running her hand on the smooth metal of the bonnet. She looks up to see Kaya glaring at her with a hand on her hip. “What?” she asks defensively. “We all use that word, unnie.”
Kaya stares at her. “Hey, Jae? Can you give us a minute?”
Jae-lin’s eyes flit between her cousin and Namjoon before they widen suddenly, as though she’s just realising she might be interrupting. “Oh! Yes, of course! I - uh, good night, Namjoon oppa,” she adds hastily and hurries away. 
Kaya watches her until she enters the house before turning around to face Namjoon. “God, what a nightmare,” she mutters, rolling her eyes when he guffaws. “Shut up.”
“You shut up. You love her,” he says easily, still grinning.
“And you’re a saint.”
“Yeah, because you love her.” He leans back against his car again, the same way he was before. “And not to take a leaf out of Jae-lin’s book, but you looked really sexy being all strict with her.”
Kaya raises her eyebrows, feeling an old, familiar stirring in her abdomen. “Really?”
His smile gets wider. “Uh-huh.”
“I guess it’s a good quality for someone who’s working to be a professor one day.”
“Uh-uh. With a bunch of horny college students? They aren’t going to hear a word you say if you look at them like that,” he argues, taking a step closer to her.
The stirring passes from her abdomen to between her legs in an instant. “Okay, no. No flirting tonight,” she mutters, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him away. “Not when we’re in this… limbo.”
His jaw drops teasingly. “No flirting at all?”
“No. It’s supposed to be a serious night, to think. With the… thinking. And stuff.”
“Good call on those three glasses of wine during dinner.”
She sighs and drops her head in her hands. “I was nervous. But I’m okay, really,” she insists honestly, straightening up as he gently pries her hands away from her face.
Namjoon doesn’t say anything, just smiles at her fondly, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. It tugs at her heart, how transparent he’s being with his feelings. She’d seen it earlier in the evening, too, when they’d been navigating the market square to locate his car.
They’d stopped to open the map on his phone and Kaya had moved closer to him to be able to see the screen. All of a sudden, she’d heard him say something in Korean and looked up to see him smiling at an older couple who were walking away. Just before they disappeared from sight, the man had caught her eye and pointed upward. Slightly confused, she’d tilted her head up to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the wooden structure of the pop-up stall next to them.
Namjoon hadn’t said anything then either, choosing to simply suppress a smile and look somewhere near her shoulder, leaving the ball in her court. His you look pretty stunt was still burnt in her mind, though, so without too much thought, she’d reached up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before continuing walking.
It’s the same look now, the one where he seems to be on the verge of throwing caution to the wind. But she knows him too well, enough to know that caution is something he doesn’t play around with.
“Sleep on it,” she interrupts softly. “Seriously. It’ll be better.”
He looks for a moment as though he’s about to argue but at the last second simply nods. “Your hair’s longer,” he comments, fingering the ends of her loose, dark hair.
“Yeah. I’ll have to cut it soon.”
“Don’t. It’s beautiful.”
Kaya sighs. “Joon, you’re making this really hard,” she complains softly, her gaze dropping to his chest. She imagines him pulling her into it, feeling the hug she’s needed for months now.
“Sorry.” He swallows, just as a tune begins playing. His eyes light up in surprise. “Wait, do you know this song?”
“Uh… no,” she answers, frowning at the unfamiliar melody. It sounds like it’s coming from Jieun’s bedroom, but she can neither recall nor understand the lyrics. “Do you?”
“Yeah,” he says immediately, glancing up at the same window. “It’s pretty popular. It came out a long time ago, though. Like, when I was a baby.”
“Huh.” She listens for a few seconds. “Very Phil Collins,” she remarks.
Namjoon bites his lips and smiles, the dimple popping gorgeously. “You know what this reminds me of?”
Kaya grins despite herself. “Let me guess,” she begins deliberately as she lets him take her hand. “London?”
He chuckles, wrapping his other arm around her waist. “Hey, I can’t help it if London has so many good memories,” he reasons, his feet already moving in a rough rhythm. 
She laughs but doesn’t argue, choosing to enjoy how he feels against her for a few precious minutes - quite possibly the last few minutes that she’ll ever feel it. She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment before opening them, only to see a light over his shoulder.
“Oh, God. Can we not do this where the neighbour can see us from his bathroom?” she groans, starting to step away., 
Namjoon tugs her even closer. “No one’s watching us. It’s Christmas Eve; they have better things to do.”
“Actually, it’s Christmas Eve-Eve and - okay, we’re in direct eyeline of the main road. Namjoon, what if someone sees you - oh, my God!”
Kaya’s feet leave the ground all of a sudden and after two large strides, Namjoon places her back down on the ground, arm firm around her. She bursts into giggles, stifling them against his shoulder as she regains her balance, looking up to see them under the tree in Jieun’s front yard, the fairy lights giving them a warm glow.
“Is that better?” he asks, laughing.
“Much better,” she agrees, feeling her heart expand as she moves right up against him, holding his shoulder and pressing a kiss to his collarbone as the song continues playing.
“Good,” he murmurs, his lips at her hair. 
It isn’t a long song; Kaya’s just about registering how good he feels, how familiar, how safe, when the music fades away. They don’t step away from each other, though. She rests her forehead on his shoulder, hoping another song will play - anything to keep this moment going on a bit longer.
It doesn’t, but they still don’t move. She can feel Namjoon’s heartbeat against her hand, the one he’s clasping against his chest. 
“Do you still love me?” he asks quietly.
Just like yesterday when he’d texted unexpectedly, taking the initial step, displaying the first hints of vulnerability, Kaya feels every strip of remaining defensiveness fall away, leaving nothing but raw honesty behind. 
“Yes,” she admits, softly but clearly.
Namjoon’s arm tightens around her. “Can I kiss you?”
Her heart leaps. “Can you check if Jae-lin is still here?”
He snickers but she can feel his head tilt up. “No, she’s gone.”
“Then, yes,” she answers immediately, finally separating from him. Namjoon looks as though the sun’s come out; he exhales purposefully, his gaze falling from her eyes to her mouth. Gently moving her hair away from her face, he pulls her closer and, after more than half a year of doubt, anxiety and sadness, he kisses her.
The first time he’d ever kissed her was sweetness; sunny, warm and inviting. The next few times were flirty, sensual, teasing, followed by sexy, loving, affectionate - whatever the situation demanded. Namjoon was a hell of a kisser, his lips and body always moving in tandem, and he made her feel whatever the moment desired, every single time.
Right now, it’s a multitude of things. Kaya can’t even begin to identify it; she’s barely made it past the fact that she’s kissing him again, finally, feeling his lips and his hair and his hands on her. There are too many things in the kiss, but there’s only one thing clear in her mind: please don’t let this be goodbye.
It’s a vain hope because it may very well be, and she pulls him closer by the lapels of his jacket when she thinks it, trying somewhere in the desperation of their passion to remember that at least now, if they end everything right here, she’ll remember their last kiss.
Namjoon’s holding her close, so close. His lips are soft but firm, and the kiss sinking. When they finally pull away, staying right there, foreheads touching and his hand still in her hair, Kaya feels his heartbeat again. It’s under her palm, racing unevenly, but so strong.
This can’t be goodbye, she thinks again, even though every passing second makes it more and more clear that it probably is. It had been her suggestion to think it over and to consider more than just love, but in this moment, she regrets it immensely, for while Namjoon can be sweet and loving and romantic, nothing makes as much sense to him as pure, rational thinking. 
It was one of the most attractive qualities about him; he was an artist, had an artist’s vision and temperament, but still held logic and reasoning in high regard. To a research student who worked with numbers, data and science, he was the perfect combination of everything she wanted in a man.
Despite that, Kaya wishes she’d never said anything. Eyes squeezed shut, she can’t believe this might be the last time, the last everything. She feels him take a deep breath before he kisses her forehead.
And just like that, she knows she’s made a mistake.
“Goodnight, Kaya,” he whispers against her skin. He pulls away and smooths down her hair. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
There’s nothing left to do but nod silently, and watch him drive away into the cold.
A faint buzzing wakes her up.
“Fuck,” whispers Kaya, feeling around on her bedside table for her phone. Squinting at the screen, she pauses in confusion. When the ringing continues, she answers before she wakes her mother sleeping next to her.
“Hey.” Namjoon sounds far more awake than her. “Sorry, I think I woke you.”
“Good guess,” she mutters thickly, sitting up into a slightly more comfortable position. “What’s up? Is - is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” There’s a pause where she can hear the smile in his voice. “I forgot how adorable you sound when you’re sleepy.”
Despite how her heart skips a beat, she frowns. “Seriously? You woke me up at the break of dawn to flirt with me?”
He chuckles, low and pleasant. “No. I was hoping we could talk. In person,” he clarifies after a moment.
“I - well… I don’t think I’ll get a cab for a couple more hours at least.”
“Mhm, mhm. It’s a good thing I’m outside Jieun’s house, then.”
Kaya’s eyes snap open. “You’re - what?” She peers out of the gap between the curtains in the guest room. “Babe, it’s six am - the sun isn’t even up yet,” she groans, a second before she inwardly cringes and hopes he’ll let her slip of the tongue go without comment.
“I - I know. But I’ve been thinking about this all night. You asked me to sleep on it - and that’s what I did. I thought about it, looked back on everything, even had a drink to clear my head.”
“So you did everything but sleep on it.”
Namjoon sighs. “I’m sorry, I just… I have to leave in a few hours. And I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone.”
His tone seems to imply not wholly good news. She swallows, her heart already sinking. “And it can’t wait?” She drops her head into her hand. “I think those three glasses of wine are finally hitting me.”
“I have coffee,” he offers. “And the fresh air should help.”
Irrefutable logic. The smell of caffeine seems to spur her decision and she rolls her eyes. “Fine. Thank God you’re not my leader.”
He laughs. “I’m waiting outside,” he says before hanging up.
There’s no scope to pretty herself for this. Kaya manages to stumble to the bathroom and brush her teeth, after which it’s layer upon layer until she deems herself sufficiently padded for a December morning in Seoul at dawn. She doesn’t want to risk waking anyone up, so simply drops her mother a text: I’m fine. Just went outside for a walk with Namjoon. 
“Hey, beautiful,” he greets her when she steps out, pursing his lips when she momentarily freezes. “Here you go,” he says, handing her a cup of coffee.
“Thanks. I needed this.” She takes the first sip, hot enough to scald her throat, and shivers in the frosty air. They begin walking down the street, the same one they’d driven up last night, with hundreds of unspoken words between them. Now, with all of them uttered and confessed, the air seems clearer and sky seems lighter, a nice indigo over the Christmas lights put up through the lane.
“Thank you for having me over last night,” he says. “I was planning on going home and ordering in, so home-cooked food was kind of amazing.”
“Well, you definitely paid Jieun back in kind, by keeping her daughter entertained all night,” she reminds him, still annoyed by how gushy Jae-lin had been last night. She’d always been a fan, since years before Kaya and Namjoon had ever met, and even though she’d somehow managed to get used to the fact that they were dating, her outward behaviour still needed some restraining sometimes.
Namjoon laughs. “I didn’t mind.” He’s dressed in sweatpants and a grey hoodie, with a black leather jacket thrown hurriedly over it. Looking at him, it’s as though he’d rushed out the door to meet with her.
They reach the neighbourhood park, empty as expected. It seems to be the only area in the entire neighbourhood that isn’t decorated; at this time of the morning, it looks strangely eerie.
“This should work,” mutters Namjoon, stepping inside and heading towards the swings, sitting on one edge of a two-person swing. Kaya trails after him silently, stopping a few steps away as he adjusts his position and looks up at her.
It’s gorgeous, his small smile. “Sit with me?” he asks. “I always loved going to the park as a kid. My parents would get happy because it meant I was taking a break from studying.” He chuckles.
Kaya doesn’t move. Dropping her gaze to the cup in her hand, she traces the mouth of the lid with her finger. “What’s happening right now, Namjoon? Is this us taking another risk together or… just an amicable way to say goodbye?”
Namjoon’s smile fades slightly. “Sit with me?” he repeats, sounding more sombre this time. “I’ll explain everything.”
Hesitating for a moment, Kaya joins him on the swing. Their shoulders brush, and she tucks her hair behind her ear before placing both hands around her cup like a safety tool, savouring the heat from it.
He takes a deep breath. “I thought about it,” he says finally. “In fact, I’ve been thinking about it all night. And if you ask me right now if I want to get back together… the answer is yes. It’s just yes,” he says earnestly, meeting her eyes. “I don’t have to think about it. I - I want you,” he admits. “I want to be your boyfriend. I want you in my life.”
I want you. The words should be enough for her to break into song, but instead Kaya’s chest constricts, as though her heart is bracing itself for the bad news.
“But if you’re asking me about a decision,” he continues, looking away now. “If you’re asking me about a long-term plan for our future - which is a fair ask, by the way,” he inserts quickly, glancing up briefly, “I - you know, it turns out I’ve been thinking about this for a while? I didn’t realise it, but it’s always been there at the back of my mind.”
Kaya doesn’t say anything. There’s a sense of foreboding in his words and she wonders all of a sudden if it isn’t just better to have a break-up over the phone.
“Given my job,” he says slowly, sounding like he’s choosing his words carefully, “given the industry, given my family… the fact that I’ll have to enlist in the military in a few years -” He breaks off momentarily and clears his throat, while her heart clenches. “Given all that, I think it would be impossible - and irresponsible - of me to promise you a future that I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you.”
“But I can promise you,” he says after a moment, and she knows he’s tilting his head to try and meet her eyes, “that every decision I take, every plan that I make… all of that will be done keeping this future in mind. The one with you in it.”
She frowns, finally looking up at him. “Are you sure?” she asks, and she hopes he understands what she’s asking.
He seems to. “Yeah, I am. I can’t… not have you in my future. If I look down ten years, fifteen years, twenty… I just can’t picture a future without you in it.”
Kaya doesn’t know what to say. They’ve just ventured into territory she wasn’t expecting. It’s not commitment. It’s not even a plan. It’s just a promise of intent, and she has no choice but to take him at his word.
He brushes her knee with the back of his hand. “Kaya?”
She bites her lip. “This… future,” she ventures, finding it strange even saying the word. “If you had it your way… what does it look like?”
Namjoon seems to consider this. “White picket fence,” he says, nodding. “And a backyard, definitely.”
Without meaning to, Kaya feels her face break into a smile. “Really?”
“Yeah. And, uh… one of those small bars in the house, with a countertop and the mixer things,” he adds, using an imaginary shaker. “A suburban house… late night drinks, where we talk about how our day was.” He looks down at her and smirks playfully. “Meeting for quickies in the studio during lunch?”
Kaya laughs. “Of course, I’m sure,” she says sarcastically, secretly unable to wait for more. “What else?”
“Um…” He squints up at the lightening sky, trying to think. “Museum dates on the weekends… Learning how to use a lawnmower.”
“I’m sorry,” she says softly, reaching up to touch his bangs, her heart full, “but there is no future in which I’m ever letting you near a lawnmower.”
Namjoon snorts. “Fair enough. What about… oh, a home gym, for sure.” The smile fades a bit, and he gets a slightly faraway look in his eyes. “An SUV… big enough to fit multiple people.” He meets her eyes. “Four bedrooms. At least.”
She swallows, her heart pounding. The prickling in her eyes is back and she stares at her lap, hoping it’ll go away. “Are you really serious right now?” she asks quietly, hearing the tremble in her voice.
“Completely,” he promises. “I know it’s not what you asked, and I’m sorry I can’t give that to you. But it’s the best I can do. Is it… is it enough for you?”
After what feels like an eternity, but is really only a few seconds, Kaya nods. “Yes,” she answers, watching the relief flood through his face. “It’s enough for me.” 
When Namjoon says nothing and simply exhales shakily, she tilts her head. “Do you still love me?” she asks him, unable to keep the teasing out of her tone.
He gives a raspy sort of chuckle, pulling her to him and kissing her temple. “You’re the love of my life, baby.”
This would be the time to break into song, but Kaya reins it in, choosing instead to close her eyes and press her lips to his jaw, savouring that Kim Namjoon is, once again, hers - possibly for a long, long time.
“You know I spent, like, an hour yesterday picking out my outfit,” she murmurs after a moment, waiting for him to hum against her hair. “Should I get mad at you now or later for choosing to confess your undying love for me when I’m in a college sweatshirt and Jieun’s Uggs?”
He laughs, the deep sound making her heart flutter. “If it helps, I realised my undying love for you yesterday, while you were in your sexy outfit.” He tugs her closer by the waist and kisses her on the mouth.
Kaya makes a sound of surprise but doesn’t pull away. She holds his face to hers, running her hand through his hair, his thick blond strands as he gently coaxes her mouth open. There’s only so much room on the swing, though, and after about a minute of renewed passion, Kaya feels it sway dangerously under her. She’s just about to pull away when Namjoon sucks on her lower lip, a low groan accompanying it, and squeezes her waist - and she falls.
“Shit,” he mutters, taking a second to understand what just happened. “Are you okay?” he asks, snickering and bending to give her a hand. His dimple appears on his left cheek, brighter than the sunrise.
“What better way to resume our relationship, right?” she mutters dryly, taking his hand and dusting herself off. “The sun’s coming up, anyway - you don’t want to get caught making out with someone in a children’s park.”
“What kid comes to the park at seven in the morning?” he argues, tugging her closer by the waist again. “It’s the perfect place to make out with my girlfriend, if you think about it.”
She’s about to differ, but he kisses her on the cheek then before trailing his lips down her jaw and towards her neck. She sighs, her eyes fluttering shut on their own. He leaves for Ilsan in a few hours; if there was ever a time to risk making out in a public place, this is it.
“Fine, come here,” she instructs, stepping away and ignoring his protests, pulling him towards the corner of the park. She stops just beyond the jungle gyms, near the wall bordering the park and under a canopy of trees. “This will do,” she says approvingly, grinning when he wordlessly kisses her again.
Here, with the protection of the trees from prying eyes, Kaya allows herself to be taken by him completely. It’s the same urgent passion, but less desperate and more affectionate. Museum dates, late night drinks and an SUV, she thinks, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeper. He knew the right things to say and she hopes with all her heart that they make it to the future he’s envisioning.
“Mm, Joon, your hands are cold,” she complains against his lips, giggling as he slips them under her t-shirt. 
“They are, huh?” he murmurs, low and deep, nipping at her lip and backing her against the wall.
“Fucking freezing,” she adds, sighing when they disappear from against her skin. “Can we go back to my - oh, wait,” she remembers, leaning her head back against the wall. “This isn’t Amsterdam and I don’t have an apartment of my own.”
“Well, it’s Seoul and I do have an apartment of my own,” he points out. “I have to be back in Ilsan for brunch but maybe we can sneak away for a bit…?” Namjoon trails off, shaking his head already, clearly on the same lines as her.
“We can do better than a quickie,” she says heavily, even as she presses her lips together. Her eyes dart to the bulge in his sweatpants and she swallows, resisting the urge to palm him right here. “When are you back?”
“Twenty-seventh morning,” he answers. “When are you flying back?”
Kaya hesitates. “Twenty-eighth morning.”
“Okay.” He nods, brushing his thumb against her cheek. “It’s going to be a hell of a twenty-seventh of December, then.”
She smiles and nods. “Yeah. I’m glad you’ll be with your family on Christmas, by the way.”
“Me, too.” 
“Do you want to come over for a quick breakfast?” she offers, raising her eyebrows. “Everyone in that house is an early riser, including Jae-lin.”
“Sure,” he answers, surprising her. “You can tell her we’re back together, too.”
“Oh, wait.” Namjoon frowns, apparently just remembering something. “Won’t they be worried? If they wake up and see that you’re gone?”
“We’re half a block away from the house,” she reminds him.
“Sure, but they don’t know you’re here,” he points out.
She shakes her head. “Don’t worry. I dropped my mom a text.”
“Do you think that’s enough?”
“She’ll know I’m okay,” assures Kaya, getting up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. “I told her I’m with you.”
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taleasnewastime · 3 months
What if I love you too much?
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Summary: Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself.
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Genre: fluff; angst; smut; single mum reader
Word count: 20.6k
Warnings: Single mum, small fights, explicit sexual content, oral (f receiving), safe penetrative sex, reader thinks Jungkook is cheating/playing the field, angst, but also fluff, child gets injured (though not seriously), talks of cuts and a small amount of blood.
Additional Drabbles!
Authors Note: Happy Saturday! Hope you’re having a nice weekend so far :) 
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“Ask him to mow your lawn.”
“What? Rosie, why would I –”
“Because look at your lawn, Y/N,” she twists to look at you with a flat face before looking back out your front window with dreamy eyes. “And then look at him.”
You look at the man in question, every glistening, no-tee-shirt-on, tattooed sleeved, square inch of him. Ok, so maybe you get her point a little. Still, you’re not about agree with her.
“I can mow,” you defend yourself instead. “And my lawns not that bad.”
“But can you mow like him?”
“Anyone can mow like him. He’s literally just going up and down the grass.”
“Y/N. Please. Just look at that body.”
“I thought you wanted me to look at his mowing.”
You catch her rolling her eyes as you twist to sit properly on your sofa, no longer wanting to objectify your new neighbour. You don’t even know his name and yet you’re already ogling at the beads of sweat that roll down the many abs he’s sporting. The feminist in you is ashamed.
“Then ask for some sugar,” Rosie continues, still looking out the window. “Or bake him some cakes to properly welcome him to the street, or I don’t know ask him to look after Zac.”
“Oh yeah, because that’s the way to any man’s heart. Please can you look after my four-year-old child?”
“Alright,” Rosie huffs, finally giving in and twisting to sit by you. “I was just brainstorming.”
“Well, thanks but no thanks.”
You stand, try to focus on the reason you came into the room in the first place. Before you spotted your new neighbour mowing topless you were cleaning the mess Zac, your four-year-old son, had left before he bulldozed his way into the garden. You love your son: he’s cute, caring, behaves and will happily entertain himself when you’re busy, but he has so much energy that sometimes he’s like a little tornado. You’re always cleaning up in his leave.
“You need to introduce yourself at some point,” Rosie continues, her voice taking on a more innocent tone, but you still know her game.
“He’s my neighbour –”
“– I don’t talk to all my neighbours. We’ll probably just smile if we happen to get out our cars at the same time.”
Rosie heaves a sigh as if you’re being utterly unreasonable. “You’re impossible.”
“You make it sound like I haven’t been with a man since Henry,” you’re still cramming toys into the plastic box you keep hidden behind the sofa when you say the name of Zac’s dad so miss the annoyed look that crossed Rosie’s face.
“Remind me who again?”
You stand up straight, twist to frown at her. Really?
“And don’t say Cam. We all know that was just a glorified blow job.”
You heat, shake your head as your frown deepens. You tell her everything but sometimes wonder if you should leave certain details out.
“There was Paul,” you begin but are put off by the look Rosie gives you. Ok, maybe she’s right, Paul was the IT guy at work that took you on two dates, the furthest you got was a kiss on your doorstep. “Urm, ok, fine. Though, dating a man is still being with him. But fine, what about Aaron?”
“Arrogant Aaron. That’s one.”
You don’t comment on the nickname, though she may have a point, you have bigger things to think about, your brain churning through the last four years to find any semblance of a relationship that will get Rosie off your back.
“James. One night, but it was good.”
“We’re up to two,” she says in a tone that implies you’re not doing well and need to improve.
“Ryan,” you almost shout the name at her when it pops into your head.
“Was Ryan really after Zac?”
“Yep, I remember Zac waking up screaming right when he was about to –”
“Auntie Roo,” you’re cut off by said screaming child.
Your lips seal shut, you both go stiff, if Zac wasn’t four, you’d both look incredibly guilty. Luckily he isn’t old enough to question it. Instead he does a light jump up and down in front of Rosie, eyes wide and smile broad.
“Please can you play?” The words are a little slurred together in his rush to get them out, some of the letters still not properly forming so when you’re with strangers you have to interpret for him. Rosie is fluent in four-year-old speak and the sentence was clear enough for you both to understand.
“Shall we play out front?”
You shoot daggers at the top of her head. She only smiles.
“But, I wanna play with Baby Boe.”
“Fine,” Rosie says still chipper, she stands to her full height rolling her eyes at you. “There’s at least no mistaking he’s yours.”
You give her a sarcastic smile as she twists and follows your son into the garden, Zac babbling on about something unintelligible, Rosie humming along as if fully engaged. You watch them disappear before going back to the task at hand, shoving the last toys into the box you collapse onto the sofa, happy to have even a minute of quiet to yourself.
Closing your eyes you can hear Rosie and Zac playing house in the back garden with his toy dog, Baby Boe. But there’s also that mechanical sound from earlier. You try to ignore it, but now alone you find it hard. Sitting up straight you make sure you truly are alone before twisting and looking over the back of the sofa.
Your neighbour is still there, on the last strip of grass now. You watch as he finishes, stops the lawn mower and then sweeps a hand through his hair. It makes his abs stretch and his arms flex. It only entrances you more. Rosie is right, he’s hot as hell, but what she doesn’t realise is that you don’t need that in your life. Sex is great, and though you’ve only had a few ‘relationships’ since Zac, there have been enough for you to know that however big the payoff may be, it’s never big enough.
You guess you’ll just have to appreciate the view with this one.
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You feel sweaty and tired but unfortunately your son is a bundle of never-ending energy, so here you are kicking a ball around your garden in the baking sun with Zac.
He’s giggling as you half force a smile on your face. It’s not that you’re not having a good time, you love time with your son, it’s more that you’ve been kicking this same ball around for nearing half an hour now. Anytime you’ve suggested doing something else Zac has had a near meltdown. It’s better to play along with it sometimes.
Zac hits the ball towards you, trying to get it between the section of fence you pretend to defend. You leap the wrong way letting the ball hit the fence with a bang.
“And he scores!” You cheer.
Zac screams, hands in the air he does a little running celebration, one he’s done after scoring every goal so far. It still makes you smile.
“What does that make it now, Zac?”
“One million!”
You laugh, fetching the ball and lightly kicking it in his direction.
“Come on then, let’s make it one million and one.”
Zac continues to giggle and run around the garden a little before running at the ball. You can see it’s a bad idea before he even kicks it but are too late to say anything. Zac’s foot hits the ball and it goes shooting towards you. You duck, cover your face with your hands on instinct. But the ball goes over you and the fence.
There’s a beat of silence before Zac realises what he’s done.
“Oh dear,” you say gently, already trying to do damage control.
Zac looks from the top of the fence to your face, his eyes wide with shock.
“It’s ok, we have another ball,” you say.
“But I want my ball,” his eyes are welling up, his bottom lip pouting out.
You try not to sigh and make the situation worse. Instead you go over to the house and pick up one of the other balls. It looks exactly the same, yet Zac doesn’t look impressed.
“This is your ball, Zac,” you try to fill your voice with excitement rather than annoyance. “This one is just as fun. Look.”
You bounce it on the floor before softly kicking towards him. Even you’d admit you don’t do a very convincing job at showing how great the ball is and judging by Zac’s tearful frown, he hasn’t been sold on your pitch either.
“Ok,” you sigh, Zac still looking tearful. “We can go knock next door and ask for it back, but he may not be in and then we’re not allowed to just go around and get it.”
“Because it’s not our house, is it?”
“But it’s my ball.”
“Yes, but we still have to ask nicely for it back, don’t we?” You don’t wait for a response to that rhetorical question, just continue to plough on. “Come on then.”
You hold your hand out and are rewarded with a smaller one placed in it. You head to your side gate, trying and failing to think about what you’re about to do and who you’re about to meet. He’s just a man. Really nothing to stress about. But having Rosie’s words in your head makes it feel like meeting him is something it’s not.
“You have to ask him Zac. So, what do you say?”
There’s a second’s pause filled with the grinding of your gate on the pavement. You look down at Zac when you’re out front and can see his brain working a mile a minute trying to work out the answer to your question.
“You say: I accidentally kicked my ball into your garden. Please can I have it back?”
“I accidentally kick my ball. Please can I have it?” He messes up the pronunciation of accidentally, it’s cute.
“Kicked it into your garden,” you correct as you approach your neighbour’s door.
“I kicked my ball in your garden. Can I have it?”
“Please,” you remind him gently before looking down at him.
He whispers the word back at you, now stood in front of the man’s door he looks a little less sure about the situation. Still, however much you’re also dreading this you’re going to do. it You need to have the confidence for both of you.
You take a breath before looking up and pressing the doorbell. There’s silence as you wait, neither you nor Zac saying anything.
Then the door’s clicking and being pulled open and then there he is. On a slight step above you, you have to look up a little to take in the wide smile he’s showing you. He’s got on a large white t-shirt, baggy black trousers and yet, even though he’s completely covered compared to when you saw him mowing his lawn and the top is not giving you even a hint of what lies beneath, you still feel flustered by his presence.
“Hello,” he says, eyes flicking between you and Zac, smile on his lips but a question in his eyes.
“Hi,” you squeak back, voice too high. “I’m Y/N and this is Zac. We’re your neighbours and uh, Zac here wants to ask you something.”
Both your eyes go down to your little boy who’s now clinging to your leg. He looks up at you unsure, his eyes quickly going to the man and then back to you. Your heart melts.
“Come on Zac,” you say in a far softer tone, your hand going to brush the back of his head. “Can you remember what we said?”
He mutters something that you can’t make out, his lips hardly moving, his eyes on the ground. Still, you look at the man to see his reaction. You’re surprised when you find him leaning in and down towards your son as if to better pick up on what he’s saying. Your heart does something funny and you have to mentally slap yourself to refocus.
“You’ve got to speak a little louder baby.”
Zac addresses you when he says, “Please can I have my ball?”
Well, at least it was louder and he used the word please. But it’s no surprise when you look at the man and he’s looking at you nonplus.
“Zac accidentally kicked his ball into your garden. We were wondering if we could go get it back?”
“Please,” Zac pipes in and while you flush the man seems to light up from within, a mixture of amusement and utter joy at your son embarrassing you.
“Yes, that’s right Zac,” you manage to keep your voice steady. “Please can we have our ball back?”
“Of course,” the man replies, looking between you both. “Why don’t I open up the side gate and you can go find it Zac?”
You look at Zac and he looks back at you unsure what to reply. You give a little nod of your head for encouragement and are rewarded with him looking back at the man and repeating your gesture.
“Give me a sec then,” the man says, standing back straight. “I need to do the bolt from the other side. Why don’t you go wait for me over there?”
You both look to where he points, the gate in question. Zac, now less nervous around the man starts without you. Glancing back at the man to be met with another smile, you swallow before following Zac.
It only takes a second for the gate to grind open. The ally is much like yours, concrete slabs leading down the side of his house to the green of his garden. The man stood in your way bends to look at Zac.
“Why don’t you go run in and have a look? See if you can find your ball in all my long grass?”
This time he needs no encouragement from you. It seems the man has gained his trust in the few minutes you’ve been in his presence. You feel him slip away from you and then watch as he runs down the ally into the garden, leaving you and the man alone. You scramble for words to fill the silence to make it less awkward, hope it doesn’t take Zac long to come back to you.
“Sorry about this,” your eyes flick to the mans which are already on you. “I promise there’s not normally balls flying over the fence.”
“Doesn’t matter if they do,” he replies with a small smile.
Ok. That’s that topic exhausted then with no sign of Zac coming back.
“You enjoying the new house?”
He flicks his head to the side to look at the house in question as if to remember before looking back at you. “Yeah, it’s a great neighbourhood. House needs a lot of work, but I’ll get there.”
“Ah, yeah. I can’t imagine Lindsey and Ron having the same interior style as you.”
“You could say it’s a bit dated for me.”
You giggle, actually laugh at the words as if they’re some amazing joke. It’s more trying to picture this man, this big, buff, man with such a pretty smile living in a house that was previously occupied by two seventy years olds that you don’t think decorated since they moved in forty years ago.
You cut the laugh off short when you realise how odd you must look. The man’s smiling back at you, a different smile to any you’ve seen so far, one you’re sure is him questioning your sanity and who he’s living next to. You cough, shift your weight from foot to foot as you peak over his shoulder praying for Zac to hurry up.
“Well, you’ve certainly managed to tame the front garden.”
“Just the floral carpets to go then,” he smiles at you, his eyes glinting with what looks like a thousand lights.
“Well, if you need a hand with anything, I’m happy to help,” you regret the words as soon as they leave your lips. You really don’t need to get tied up with your neighbour. “Though I have no DIY knowledge, so would probably be no help.”
He doesn’t look put off by your obvious U-turn. “I’ll keep you in mind.”
And you’re screwed. Honestly, is that all it takes? A good-looking guy, some smiles at you and your son and a bit of kindness? Rosie is right, it’s been way too long if a simple smile turns you on.
And just like that it’s broken. You bite back the warning of being careful running down the cement paved ally with the ball in his hands. Instead, just smile at your beaming son.
“You found it. Good job. Now come on, I’m sure,” your words slope off, only just realising you have no idea what your neighbours name is.
You look up at him and he fills in your silence with his name, “Jungkook.”
“Right. I’m sure Jungkook has things to do,” you say to Zac. “What do we say now?”
Zac goes a little timid again, squeezing the ball to his chest. “Thank you,” he mumbles before twisting and running back to your house.
“Sorry,” you wince, turning back to Jungkook. “And thank you.”
“It was nothing.”
“Well, thanks anyway,” you grow awkward and decide now is the time to follow your sons lead. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
“I’m sure you will,” he smiles back at you.
Twisting you start walking back to your house, already trying to forget everything that just happened. When you’re safe in the walls of your house you pull your phone out and type out a message to Rosie.
This is why I didn’t want to meet my neighbour.
As usual, it only takes a few seconds for her response to come – you swear she’s attached to her phone.
Tell. Me. Everything.
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There’s a knock on your door. You leave Zac colouring on the kitchen table so you can go answer it. You feel relaxed until you see who’s there. Your whole body going taunt at the sight of Jungkook at your door. Mind flicking through the possible reasons for him to be here.
“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted me to mow your lawns?”
It takes you aback, you’re pretty sure you might even recoil a little from the seemingly simple question. It might take a second but you end up smiling, have to bite your lip to hide how amused you are. It’s half due to how nervous he looks on your doorstep, but more because of Rosie and your conversation from when you first saw him. He must take your beat of silence the wrong way if his increased twitchiness is anything to go by.
“I was just doing mine and thought yours needed doing,” he almost cuts himself off in his haste to clarify. “Not that it looks bad or anything. Just that it could do with a cut. Or more that it saves you the job. And as I was already out doing mine, I thought it would –”
You properly laugh now. Loud enough to cut Jungkook’s ramblings off. He looks like he’s about to throw the towel in and head home but you stop him with a wave of your hand.
“Sorry,” you continue to laugh. “It’s just … of course you can mow my lawn.”
There’s a beat and then Jungkook’s face is turning more serious, a hint of amusement in his eyes as his head cocks to the side. Oh, god. Maybe that sounded like too much of an innuendo. You stand up straight, the laughter dying on your lips.
“I just mean I won’t be offended.”
“Ok,” he says, positions swapped, him amused and you awkward. “Need anything else doing while I’m here?”
“Uh,” you look behind you into the house as if to check before looking back at him. His smile seems to have grown in those few seconds. “Nope. I think we’re all good.”
“Just the lawns then,” he grins, seeming to relax into his position in your door.
“Just the lawns,” you squeak. “Please.”
He nods but still lingers. How does someone go from a rambling nervous mess to this? Though you’ve passed each other coming and going, this is the first time the two of you have properly spoken since Zac kicked his ball over the fence. You wouldn’t have predicted it would go like this.
“Want me to do the back too?”
You almost choke. “If it’s no trouble?”
He shrugs. “As I’m here.”
“Ok,” you look behind you again, for an escape, for a reason to look away from those shining eyes and cocky smile. You’re pretty sure he’s one of these guys that realises the effect he has on people and enjoys it. “Want me to bring you out a coffee or something?”
“I’m good. I’ll just get on with it.”
“Ok, well, thank you.”
“No problem, Y/N.”
You close the door and resist the urge to collapse on the floor.
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“If you kick it too hard, you’re going to have to get it,” you warn as you do another light kick of the ball in Zac’s direction.
As if in spite of your words or maybe because it’s no fun not kicking the ball hard, Zac launches the ball in your direction. Still, you laugh as you manage to leap to the side and stop the ball before it goes off down the hill behind you.
“Maybe we should go and play in the back garden?”
“No,” Zac half screams the word. “There’s horrible fences there.”
He’s referencing the time he kicked the ball over the fence and then had to go collect it. Apparently it was such a jarring experience that he doesn’t like playing there anymore, though you would have thought being able to go in the neighbours garden would be exciting for him.
“Ok, then we have to kick a little softer.”
He follows your request a few times before once again deciding playing by your rules is boring. You let it go for a bit, giggling along with Zac as you leap and try and save each of his kicks. You do a few of your own rouge kicks just so he has to run a little and it gives you a minutes piece. Award for mum of the year over here.
You’re shouting something about how great one of Zac’s kicks is when you hear a door slam. You don’t think too much of it until you hear a voice shouting out.
“Already training for the Premier League?”
You look over to the voice and are met with a beaming Jungkook slowly walking towards you, baggy trousers and just as baggy a top blowing in the breeze. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him not smiling.
“I think we still have a way to go if that’s the aim,” you joke back, looking back at Zac just in time to see him kick a ball that goes miles to your right. Luckily, it’s not a missile like some of his others, but it still feels embarrassing having to jog after the ball with Jungkook now as an audience.
By the time you have the ball back in possession and are back to where you were once stood Jungkook is only meters away. Still smiling and you catch the end of him telling Zac what a great kick he just did. He goes shy, something you always find funny as he’s always a screaming ball of energy around you and other’s he knows, you love seeing this other side of him. Still, it means you need to hold the confidence for both of you.
“Is there room for one more?”
The question takes you off guard, even though he’s made the effort to walk the short distance to be stood here.
“Uh, sure,” you say then look at Zac. “That’s ok, isn’t it Zac?”
Zac doesn’t look sure but luckily he’s currently too shy to dispute you. You also don’t give him much time to disagree with you, lightly kick the ball in Zac’s direction before he can think.
He’s gentler when he kicks it back to you, his aim surprisingly good for once. You feel a small amount of pressure when you kick the ball to Jungkook, trying to include him. It feels like when you were once in school and were laughed at for throwing the rounders ball miles off the mark. It doesn’t go badly, though Jungkook has to step a little to his left to pick it up under his feet, he expertly flicks it between his feet and then knocks it on to Zac.
Zac looks mesmerised by the simple move that you’d never be able to replicate. You can see his nerves slowly cracking with a small smile going to his lips. He still kicks the ball to you, but as the game goes on and as you and Jungkook try to change the direction a few times, Zac finally completely lets loose.
He’s giggling and doing big kicks again. He’s laughing at Jungkook doing more little tricks with the ball before he kicks it on. And he even starts to shout little bits, imitating the words the Jungkook cries out, what a save, that was close, such a good touch.
Soon enough you’re out, you’ve lost your son to your neighbour and a football. Neither of them are kicking the ball anymore, their running at each other trying to do tackles. At least Jungkook seems to realise he’s playing a four-year-old and not someone his age, his tackles are light and he always kicks the ball a little too far and is a little too slow to pick it back up letting Zac get it.
“I’ll go get us some drinks,” you say to seemingly no one. But you don’t really care because your son looks so happy.
His laughs fill up the street as you make your way back to the house and when you look back you watch as Jungkook tackles him and lifts him up into the air, easily tossing him around in the sky making Zac laugh even harder.
You may take a little longer than necessary to make the drinks.
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You’re out-front playing with Zac again. Well, less playing and more sat on the curb watching Zac play. You’ve had a day at work, still need to cook yours and Zac’s dinner but you promised you’d come out and do something first. Given Zac is a ball of energy it’s better to let him get all of that out now, so he’ll go to sleep earlier. That’s always the aim anyway, sometimes it’s just not the reality.
The back garden apparently isn’t good enough for him now. After playing out front and Jungkook joining him on more than one occasion you think he secretly hopes that’s going to happen every time. He doesn’t outright ask for it, but you know your son and you can see the utter joy whenever he gets to play with your neighbour.
You watch Zac run around with one of his teddy’s, rambling on about how the dinosaur is going to get them so they have to go to the volcano.
Even if you’re not necessarily playing with Zac, you love this time spent with him. It’s always just been the two of you and though that’s been hard at times, there’s never been a moment you’ve truly regretted it. You thought you loved his dad, but that was nothing compared to what you feel for Zac.
The sound of a car pulls your attention from Zac. It’s rounding the corner onto your road, still far enough and going slow enough to not panic you, but you know Zac will be oblivious.
“Zac,” you shout, standing up. “Zac. There’s a car coming, you have to wait on that side of the road for it to pass.”
Zac looks over at you, wide-eyed as he takes in the information. You can’t deny that your heart swells a little at the fact he so obediently runs to the side of the road, even picks the side that’s closest which is opposite you.
You smile at him as the car gets closer but it stops before reaching you. You can see the confusion on Zac’s face about what he should do. The car’s stopped but it’s still so close, is he allowed to continue to play?
“It’s ok Zac,” you say just as the door to the car opens.
Zac runs along the pavement for a second, obviously still not entirely sure, but when the car door opens, he must deem that good enough to know the car’s not going to move again and runs out into the road.
You watch him for a second before glancing at who got out the car. You smile at the woman you’ve never seen before. Dressed in a nice skirt and top, you shouldn’t be surprised when she makes her way to your neighbour’s house. You look away as she goes up his drive and rings the bell; it’s none of your business who Jungkook chooses to spend his time with.
Zac obviously doesn’t feel the same.
“Jungkook,” your son shouts out the name, the k sound more like a g and the last one isn’t pronounced so it sounds more like Jun-goo then anything.
Still your neighbour looks over at the shout. His guest too. Now stood on the doorway, in the middle of greeting each other. Jungkook instantly smiles while it takes the woman a second longer. You just feel mortified.
“Zac, darling, I think he has a guest.”
“But I want to play.”
You glance over at your neighbour’s front door; both are still looking at you and though you’re sure they can hear your conversation they seem to be having their own more silent conversation. You feel hot when you look back at Zac. Though you shouldn’t feel embarrassed, you somehow do.
“He can’t play right now because –”
You’re cut off by a scream that sounds like the name Jungkook as Zac goes running in his direction. Truly mortified now you turn to jog after him, calling his name as you go. You manage to catch up to him as he reaches Jungkook’s lawn, place a hand on his shoulder to try and settle him.
“Zac,” you say firmly but as quietly as you can. Jungkook and the woman can definitely here you, you’re only a few meters away, but you’d rather they didn’t. “You don’t run away from me like that and you don’t cut me off when I’m telling you something.”
He looks wide-eyed up at you, lip pouted as if there are about to be water works soon. He’s at the age where everything he asks, he assumes he can get. No isn’t a word unless he’s saying it. And when you tell him anything other than yes, he gets stroppy. It’s a cute age, but it’s tough.
“I just want to play,” Zac mumbles.
You hold your hands out in a silent question that he accepts. Leaning down you pick him up under the arms. It’s more like lifting some weights at the gym then the baby you once had but settled onto your hip and arms cuddling your side make it all worth it. You’re about to speak words of comfort to him before apologising to Jungkook and his guest but a different voice changes that.
“It’s ok,” you look up to see Jungkook stepping towards you, the girl in his entry way looking at you over his shoulder. “I’d love to play with you too, Zac, but I can’t right now. Can I maybe play with you a different night?”
You feel Zac’s head nod against your chest where it’s lay. You run a soothing hand down his arm while you shoot Jungkook an apologetic look.
“You really don’t have to do –”
“No, I mean it. I love playing with Zac.”
You doubt the twenty something year old really enjoys playing with your four-year-old son. Especially as it has just become apparent he has a girlfriend. But the way he says it and the way he smiles; you can almost believe it.
“Well, we need to get in and cook dinner anyway don’t we, Zac.”
There’s another small nod against you and you look between Jungkook and the girl again. You feel so incredibly awkward, though Jungkook looks a little worried if anything.
“Sorry, for ruining the start of your evening,” you say to them both, twisting and carrying Zac back to your house before you can gain a reply. You’ll distract Zac with food. Your own embarrassment might be harder to hide.
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“Hey, let me help you with that.”
The weights that were your shopping bags are lifted out of your hands before you can protest. Soft, warm fingers run along yours to grasp the handles and then they’re gone. You turn to look at the man responsible.
“Jungkook, you really don’t have to,” but it’s like you’re talking to a wall, or more a back, as Jungkook has already turned and is heading to your front door.
“You get the others and it’ll be done in half the time,” he says over his shoulder.
You huff, still not exactly happy with the assumption you needed help, but you don’t audibly protest as you pick up the last remaining bag and follow Jungkook.
“You really don’t have to –”
“Just unlock the door,” Jungkook cuts you off, giving you a small smile and adding. “These bags are starting to get heavy.”
You roll your eyes as you do as asked, placing your bag on the floor before unlocking your front door and letting Jungkook in. He waits for you to come in before he follows you to the kitchen.
“You can just place them here,” you say before turning to look at him.
He’s all smiles again and you’re not sure why you’re so irked by the whole thing. You should be thanking him, but it’s more about what he’s slowly started to make you realise. Zac doesn’t have a man in his life and Jungkook creeping in even in these small ways has made you see how much that might be affecting him. Jungkook hasn’t done much, he’s played football out front with your son, he’s smiled and told him jokes in passing, he’s asked him a few simple questions about his life. And yet your son has lit up with every interaction.
It's ever since the incident the other day when Zac went running to him that got you thinking. You thought you were embarrassed because it looked like you couldn’t control your child, but since you’ve realised that it’s more because you’d started to get used to Jungkook in the same small ways as Zac and seeing him with a woman, presumably his girlfriend, made you realise that Jungkook probably doesn’t feel the same way. You’re just his neighbour and Zac’s just a cute kid. It’s not like you’re dating, or he owes you anything, but having had no help outside your family and Rosie since Zac was born has made even the small gestures massive.
You thought you were enough for Zac. You knew that you were possibly stopping him from experiencing something by staying single or not letting any of the men you’d dated briefly into Zac’s life, but you didn’t think it would matter. And yet so little from Jungkook has shown you how much it can mean.
You don’t mean to be rude or short with him, but these simple acts of kindness are starting to feel like an agenda. Like he’s out to prove that you’re not everything Zac needs.
You can make your son happy on your own. You can play ball with him and have fun and ask him questions about what he likes. You can carry bags into your house on your own; you’ve cooked and cleaned and worked and kept yours and Zac’s lives together longer than Jungkook’s been around. And yet Zac has never run to you the way he ran to Jungkook the other day.
“Zac not here today?”
“His Nan is looking after him.”
You can sense him looking down at you as you start to unpack your shopping. “That must be nice for them both.”
“Yep,” you say popping the p. “Certainly is.”
The silence elongates, tension rising in the gap. You can sense Jungkook watching you even though you don’t look at him as you start to unpack your food. You hear his feet shuffle on the lino floor and can see him leaning against the door frame out of the corner of your eye.
You should break it, should say something and stop being so childish, but you find you can’t, the longer it goes on the more it builds in your head. It’s as if every male that’s been in your life who hasn’t been interested in meeting Zac, everyone that you didn’t feel comfortable meeting Zac, every insecurity you had about stopping Zac from having the chance of a male figure in his life, has built up into Jungkook.
Still, you don’t ask him to leave, don’t say anything, just silently unpack as Jungkook watches you.
“Is everything alright?” It’s Jungkook that finally speaks.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You just seem a little upset is all.”
“I’m fine.”
“Ok. Let me clarify, you seem a little upset with me,” he pauses, when you don’t reply he carries on. “Have I done something to annoy you?”
“Nothing,” you say finally looking at him.
“Just tell me Y/N,” he looks a little pissed himself now and you realise how unfair you’re being. You can think all these things and build it up in your head and realise how stupid you’re being, but to take it out on Jungkook and then not explain why; that’s not fair.
“I just don’t appreciate you coming in and treating me like I can’t lift some shopping bags on my own is all.”
“I never said you couldn’t do it alone. I offered you help.”
“Yeah, ok, it’s fine. I’m overreacting,” you say in a tone to imply the opposite.
“No, come on. That’s not everything, what is it?”
You pause, wondering how much to tell him. “I’ve been looking after myself and Zac far longer than I’ve known you.”
“I know that.”
“So you can stop coming into our lives and being Mr Perfect,” you wave your hands at his whole person at the words.
He laughs, shaking his head. “Mr Perfect?”
“Carrying my shopping in and playing with Zac and acting like you have your whole life together and we don’t.”
“I really don’t know how you got that impression. My life isn’t together. And I enjoy playing with Zac and being around you, but if you’re uncomfortable with that then I can stop.”
You sigh, mentally slap yourself as you twist and pull a chair out. Plonking yourself down you run a hand down your face. When you make eye contact with Jungkook again his face still holds annoyance, but he looks a little softer now.
“Sorry,” you start, body slumping with the all the fight leaving you. “I’m being ridiculous. You don’t make me uncomfortable playing with Zac, I guess I just realised how much he’s grown to like you and yet I hardly know you.” You pause then add with a small smile. “Though you really do look like you have your whole life together.”
Your comment seems to be enough to break the tension. Jungkook chuckles again, this time looking more genuine. He takes the couple of steps to close the distance between you and pulls a chair out so he can sit.
“Well, the first thing I can tell you is I really do not have my life together,” he doesn’t speak as loudly now you’re sat with no background clattering and the wide smile he shoots you has you looking down at your lap to hide your smile. “And you know, maybe we should get to know each other better. We’re neighbours for one, but I honestly do love Zac and if it would make you feel more comfortable then I can do a whole DBS check.”
You look at him, smile wider on your face. He seems to relax at the look, less tense now you’re no longer being annoyed with him.
“You don’t have to do a DBS check,” you assure him. “I guess it’s just been a really long day and my insecurities got the better of me. Sorry.”
“What? Been a long day or are you struggling to believe I have insecurities?”
His eyebrow lifts and you swear his cheeks tint pink. “Well, both I guess.”
“I arrived at work to a snotty email from someone telling me how to do my job and then I didn’t have time to buy lunch so had to have one of the crappy cafeteria sandwiches. To top it all off I had to go food shopping, arguably one of the worst chores.”
Jungkook smiles, nods and waits. You’d kind of hoped you’d be able to sweep the whole insecurities bit under the rug. Guess Jungkook is taking the whole getting to know each other seriously.
“As for insecurities,” you begin, words elongated as you grow more awkward. “I mean doesn’t everyone have them? But, uh, yeah. I mean Zac’s dad has never been in his life and I’ve never properly dated anyone since having him, or at least never thought anyone was good enough to introduce him to. And I’ve always wondered if I’m somehow stopping him from having a second parent.”
Jungkook cocks his head to the side. A small movement as if he’s deep in thought at your comment. Before he can say anything though you let out a small laugh and try to move on.
“Anyway, at least I have lots of food in the house now.”
“Zac’s not missing out on anything.”
The smile dies on your lips. The words are so deadly seriously. Like he means every word. You feel yourself heating even though he’s probably just saying it because he thinks it’s what you want to hear.
“You’re an amazing mum, Y/N. Zac isn’t missing out on anything by just having one parent.”
“Thanks,” you continue to flush. “You really don’t have to say that, but thanks anyway.”
“I don’t have to say it. But I mean it.”
“Well, ok, thanks. Moving on,” you say. “Can I get you something to drink to fully apologise?”
“I wouldn’t say no to a tea.”
You nod, getting up to turn the kettle on. You’ve got an hour of your mum looking after Zac before you’ve got to pick him up. Time you were hoping to spend on tasks you actually need to get done around the house. You can’t retract your offer though and as you settle into easy conversation you find you don’t want to.
An hour passes easily with your neighbour. Laughing and drinking your teas you find you have more in common than you’d have guessed. He’s a similar age to you, took the house on next door because it was within budget, big and something he could easily do up. You normally find that people around your age feel so different in age, are at different stage in their lives as you have so much responsibility in looking after Zac and they’ve just got themselves. But Jungkook feels different. It’s still just him and you can tell by some of the things he says that he’s considering things in his life you couldn’t, but he’s bought a house, has committed to doing it up, has a steady job he wants to progress in. He’s settled. It’s small things but you find your respect towards him grows as well as the amount you like him.
An hour later, you leave him with a wave as you head to your car and he takes the short walk back to his house.
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“Oh, who’s that?”
You fight the urge to look as soon as the words leave Rosie’s mouth. You still don’t want to appear too keen around her. Though you and Jungkook have grown closer, there’s still nothing between you and you still don’t want her getting the wrong impression.
“Who’s who?” You ask, playing oblivious.
She waves you over, doesn’t even turn to look at you. She’s in much the same position as when you first spied Jungkook. Body leaning over the back of the sofa, face almost pressed against the glass of your front window. If anyone were to look at your house, her face would be front and centre and while you imagine you’d die at being caught watching your neighbours so plainly, you imagine Rosie wouldn’t care, she’d probably wave at them.
“Just come look. Some girl is going to Jungkook’s.”
“Oh right, that’s probably his girlfriend,” you say flatly, unbothered, though you still make your way over to where she’s sat to take a look yourself.
“He has a girlfriend?”
The question goes straight through you as you watch the girl in question walking up his drive. Ok, maybe it’s not his girlfriend because this girl has different coloured hair, her skin is slightly darker, she’s shorter, just as beautiful as the other girl you saw, but she is not the same person.
“Of course he has the hottest girlfriend.”
The words pang even though you shouldn’t care, you shouldn’t even be looking out the window at her, yet you find yourself leaning forward to get a better angle to try and see Jungkook’s front door. Is he there? How’s he going to greet her?
“That’s not his girlfriend,” you reply.
“What? He’s cheating on her?” Rosie’s interest peaks, if possible.
“No. I mean, I don’t know,” you try to explain, Rosie looking at you with a frown. “I don’t know if he has a girlfriend. Someone came to his house the other week and I just assumed, but that’s not her.”
Rosie hums, focus going back outside. “Well, that makes sense.”
“It does?”
“A man that hot does not just settle down. He’s a player.”
“Right,” you say flatly, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.
“And I mean, with a body like that, why wouldn’t he?”
“Careful not to get your drool on my window,” you say as you push yourself to stand, no longer interested in watching whatever’s happening out front.
You go back to whatever you were doing before, trying to get the image of the girl out of your mind. You shouldn’t care. But it only seems to add to everything in your mind, becomes another reason in your mind to not get too close to the man.
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“Who the hell talked me into this?” You mutter to yourself as you apply the last bit of lip gloss.
Stepping back, looking at yourself in the mirror, you have to admit you scrub up nice. When you make a bit of an effort you don’t look half bad.
You’ve not been on a proper date in a couple of months. Life has been busy and it’s not been top of your list of things to do, but when someone at work said they knew someone they thought you’d get on with you reluctantly said you’d meet them. Maybe not reluctant, you’re excited to date, to have a night out with someone that isn’t Rosie, to enjoy yourself. There’s just still niggles in your mind about the whole thing.
You’ve still got half an hour before you need to leave. Your taxi booked, completely dressed and ready to go, Zac in bed, all you need now is Rosie to turn up to baby sit for a few hours.
You’ve only managed to take a single breath to try and calm yourself and have a couple of sips of the glass of wine you decided to pour yourself when your phone rings. Rosie’s name pops up on your screen and you smile as you answer it.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to be late.”
“Uh, worse, possibly.”
You sit up straight, move your glass of wine so you don’t accidentally knock it. “What do you mean possibly?”
“Ok, definitely,” Rosie sounds nervous, and you’re not surprised given the desire to kill her right about now. “But, honestly, it’s unavoidable. My car’s died and I thought I could get a taxi but the quote I got was for £50 one way and I’m not saying you’re not worth it, but, on top of it all my mum called and she’s not feeling great and I just thought I’d see if you really need me or if someone else could possibly step in, just for tonight?”
You resist the urge to wipe a hand down your face or pull at your hair; you’d just spent ages so you could look like this. But it sounds like it doesn’t even matter, the date obviously wasn’t supposed to happen. You check the clock, it’s still twenty minutes until your taxi should arrive, still forty minutes until your date.
“I’ll cancel, it’s fine, go be with your mum.”
“What? No, don’t cancel.”
“What am I supposed to do instead?”
“Can’t your mum look after Zac instead?”
“She has book club tonight.”
“Your brother?” She says, her tone already implying she doesn’t hold much hope there.
“Away on business.”
“What about someone from work?”
“Rosie. Honestly, it’s fine.”
“Jungkook,” the name throws you so off you don’t respond immediately. “What about Jungkook?”
“I can’t ask my neighbour to look after my son.”
“Why? They seem to get on great and Zac will be asleep the whole time anyway.”
“He’s probably busy.”
“But you don’t know. You should go ask before you rule him out.”
You chew at the inside of your cheek, torn. You really don’t want to ask Jungkook, but Rosie makes a good point. She seems to cotton onto the weakness and pushes.
“Please, Y/N. I feel so guilty that you might have to cancel this date because of me. I’d ask Jungkook myself, but I don’t have his number. I could find him on Facebook though, just have to hope he sees the message in time but I’m –”
“Ok,” you blurt to stop her.
“Ok? You want me to message him?”
“No,” you sigh, not believing what you’re about to say. “I’ll go round and see if he’s free.”
You can almost see the beaming smile that Rosie is surely sporting. She doesn’t let you hang around on the phone for much longer now you’ve made the decision she wanted. A quick comment to let her know how it goes and a goodbye and she’s gone.
Your eyes flick to the clock as if it’s going to hold some sort of information that’ll help you out. It doesn’t. Just tells you what you already know; you have less than fifteen minutes till your taxi arrives.
Nerves at an all time high you decide the whole thing will only take five minutes either way so Zac is ok in bed. Leaving the door open, you make the short trip from your house to Jungkook’s.
Are you really doing this?
You can hear the noise of the doorbell going around the house. It seems you are doing it.
Sweat builds on your palms. Heat seems to leave your body while gathering in your face. Your throat feels so tight that you wonder if you’ll be able to get any words out if Jungkook answers. Seconds feel like minutes and then when you hear his footsteps approaching they seem to thunder.
The door swings open. You watch in silence as his face goes from curious, to eyes wide in recognition, to a steady sweep of your body. His eyes are still wide when they meet yours but there’s something else in them now as well as a slight flush to his cheeks.
You’re too nervous to take much notice.
“Hey,” you start, but begin talking too fast for Jungkook to say anything. “So, I know this is asking a lot and I want to say straight away that if you’re busy, or if you just don’t want to then please don’t feel like you have to say yes. But I have a date tonight, hence the outfit, and my childcare has cancelled on me and I was wondering, if you’re free, if you could maybe look after Zac? All you’d have to do it is just sit downstairs and listen out for if he wakes up. Again, it’s fine if you don’t want to.”
His cheeks are still pink but there’s a smile on his face now. You honestly have no idea what he’s going to say.
“Y/N, I honestly don’t mind looking after Zac while you go on your date.”
The shock, the relief, the surprise; whatever he see’s pass your face makes a low chuckle leave his lips.
“Do I need to bring anything with me?”
“Uh, no. Not unless there’s something you need?”
His smile is gentle and kind as he looks at you. “Let me just grab my keys so I can lock up.”
You wait the few seconds it takes for him to grab his keys and then watch as he locks his door. You still feel weird as you wait for him, still nervous just in a different way now.
It’s silent as you walk side by side back to your house. You feel unable to look at Jungkook, though you can feel him glancing at you.
“You look nice by the way.”
“Oh, thanks,” your nerves seem to give Jungkook confidence.
“Where’s your date?”
“Just at The Botanist.”
“That’ll be nice. Is it a first date or ..?”
“Yep, first date,” you say as you enter your house. “So, there’s drinks in the fridge and help yourself to any food you find.”
“You might regret saying that,” Jungkook jokes but you’re struggling to find much funny with your emotions all over the place at the moment.
“And I’ll give you my number if anything goes wrong. Like I said he shouldn’t wake up but if he does you can give him some hot milk or read him a book.”
“We’ll be fine, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice is calm as he leans against the wall and watches you shuffle around the room. “If Zac wakes up, I’m sure I’ll cope. I’m sure I’ll be able to find anything I need and work the TV. My house is literally meters away and like you said I can just call you if I need.”
You still feel almost shaky. You trust Jungkook but it’s one thing to leave him playing with your son for ten minutes out front and wholly different to leave him home alone for a few hours. Still, you trust him and know he’ll be fine.
“Just go and enjoy your date,” Jungkook continues. “Are you nervous?”
“I – yeah,” you admit. “It’s my first date in a while.”
“Well, you really do look great. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Thanks, Jungkook,” you say softly, meaning it for so many different reasons.
“It’s fine. Now, go on, get out of here.”
You do one last sweep of the room, slip your shoes on at the door and the linger for a second. Jungkook’s already made himself at home on the sofa, smile still on his face as he watches you. Your hand pauses on the door. It still feels weird to be leaving. But you give Jungkook a nod and head out the door.
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Your key slips on the lock. You sway gently side to side. Closing your eyes, you take a long, slow breath. When you open your eyes, the world is still spinning.
You try the key again. Fingers fumble, it takes a second, but you manage to get the key where you need it. You turn the key, but it doesn’t go as far as you expect. Your hand goes to the handle, you pull down and tumble forward into your house.
Giggling you pull your key out of the door. Why did you think the door was locked? Of course it wasn’t locked.
You bite your lip as you right yourself and try not to slam the door closed. You need to be quiet, Zac’s asleep upstairs and you’d hate to be the reason for waking him up.
You make the mistake of trying to balance on one foot as you take your shoe off. It doesn’t last much longer than a second, you sway so hard that you have to throw your arm out to grab the wall so you don’t wipe out on the floor. You keep hold of the wall as you safely remove your shoes this time.
Shoving your bag on the table by your door you close your eyes for a second, take another breath and then will yourself to go get a glass of water before bed.
It takes you far longer than it should to realise you’re being watched. Are stumbling through your living room to your kitchen when you spot him and you jump in the air.
“Fuck,” you curse, clutching a hand to your heart. “Jungkook. What the hell?”
“Have you had a nice night?”
You huff, a noise that sounds half like a no and half like a yes. “It was ok.”
Jungkook laughs and moves on the sofa so he’s sat up straighter. “That sounds like a rave review.”
You close your eyes and throw your head back. Water forgotten you move towards Jungkook instead, plopping down on the sofa next to him. Your eyes feel heavy but you feel awake enough to talk to Jungkook for a while.
“It was good.”
“But?” Jungkook turns towards you as you lean your head back on the cushions.
“Just that it was just good.”
Jungkook hums and you turn your head on your neck to look at him. He’s closer than you thought but it doesn’t make you pull away from him, however much that wide smile makes your heart stutter.
“You must know what I mean.”
His head cocks to the side. “And why would that be?”
“Because you’re always going off on dates,” the alcohol is loosening your lips, you’d never say anything of this if you hadn’t drunk.
“How much have you had to drink?” He laughs.
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “It was two for one.”
“So that’s what made it a good night?”
You giggle, the noise escaping you with little to no warning. “No, the guy was nice too.”
“Was that opinion formed before or after the alcohol was consumed?”
This time you reach round and slap his arm as you laugh. It pushes you closer to him, the knee you have folded on the sofa pushing into his leg. Your hand lingers on his arm and he doesn’t push you away. You feel the heat coming off him and realise what you’re doing. You pull away and the heat transfers from your hand to your face.
“God, sorry, maybe I’m more drunk than I thought.”
You pull away, twist so you’re facing forward again. Now you think about it your head is really spinning. Looking after Zac tomorrow is going to be fun.
“Want me to get you some water?” Jungkook’s asking the question even as he stands to do just that.
You watch him walk away from you and disappear into the kitchen. He looks so at home.
You close your eyes again and rest your head against the back of the sofa. Water sounds good, maybe it’ll clear your head a little, because now you think about it, being drunk and loose lipped around Jungkook probably isn’t the best decision.
“Here you go.”
A pint of water is in front of you when you open your eyes. You sit up straighter, hold your hand out to take the glass and then down nearly half of it before taking sips from it instead. Jungkook is still stood in front of you, a small smile on his lips as he looks down at you.
“Better?” You nod at the question and Jungkook’s lip curls at the edge. “You ok to look after Zac like this?”
“I’m not that drunk.”
“Ok,” he says with a small laugh, as if he doesn’t quite believe you. “I’ll leave you and Zac alone then.”
He only moves a little, is only standing up straighter, but the movement coupled with the words is enough for you to panic and reach out and grab his hand. Or more grab his wrist. And because he doesn’t move you can slip your fingers lower and land on their intended target.
“Wait. Don’t go.”
His smile has slipped now, his face flat as he stares down at you. He’s not gripping your hand back. You suddenly feel a lot more sober, feel like you’ve made a mistake.
“You’ve not told me how your night was yet,” you say in a much softer tone, your hand slipping out of his.
“I haven’t heard anything from Zac. I even went to look in his room to make sure he was actually there. He’s been fast asleep while I’ve watched trash TV all night.”
You nod, feel like you’re turning into a nodding dog at this point. But you don’t know what else to say. You’ve just asked him to stay and that short, closed sentence is clearly him telling you he’s heading home.
“Well, thanks so much for looking after him.”
“It was no trouble.”
You look up at him, wait for him to move, to leave you sat here alone. But he still doesn’t. It gives you enough confidence to keep talking, or maybe the silence is just eating too much into you that you feel a need to fill it.
“Do you want me to pay you?”
His eyebrows shoot up his head and you giggle, realising what he must be thinking and go on to clarify.
“I mean for babysitting.”
“Oh, no. I was only going to be sat next door doing the same thing anyway.”
“Right,” you swallow, mind whirling. “Well, I still feel a need to pay you back some way.”
“You really don’t need to do anything.”
“But you’ve done so much for me and Zac since moving in.”
“I’ve told you before I like playing with Zac.”
“And the mowing our grass?”
“It only makes sense when I’m already doing mine.”
“What if I want to pay you back?”
“I don’t want anything from you.”
He pauses, his eyes dark as he looks down at you. The air seems to thicken and though you don’t know how, you know you’ve got him.
His eyes follow as you push yourself to stand up. He doesn’t move to give you space as you come toe to toe with him. His eyes flick around your face as yours remain steady on his. You don’t touch him straight away, but you get close enough that all you’d need to do is lean forward and you’d be against him.
The silence feels loud now, both of you holding your ground, the anticipation rising.
“Are you sure you want this?” He swallows his eyes flicking to your lips.
Subconsciously you sweep your tongue along your bottom lip and are rewarded with Jungkook unable to take his eyes off the movement.
If you were completely sober maybe you wouldn’t be so brash. If you hadn’t just been on a rubbish date, thinking about how much better it could be if only the person sat opposite you was the man currently stood in front of you, maybe you wouldn’t be this bold. If Jungkook hadn’t been so kind, so thoughtful, so good looking, maybe you wouldn’t be doing what you’re about to do, maybe you’d be thinking twice about what a mistake it could turn out to be.
You close the gap, move slowly to let Jungkook back away if he wants. But he doesn’t. When you’re close enough, he places his hands on your hips and pulls you into him.
He tastes salty, like crisps. His lips mould to yours the way your body moulds against his. Your back arches up into him, his hand goes to the small of your back and his tongue slips into your mouth.
“Are you sure about this?” Jungkook whispers again.
You don’t have time to answer, now you’ve kissed him, you want all of him. You twist both of you so that when you push yourself into him and he has to take a step back, his knees hit the sofa. His eyes are wide, full of surprise as he lowers himself backwards. You don’t let yourself be shocked, this is so unlike you, but honestly you don’t care or overthink it.
Placing a knee either side of Jungkook you straddle him, place your lips back on his as you grind down into him. His hands fall to your hips again, squeeze the flesh there every time you drag yourself over his length. You can feel him, all of him, hard and long, pushing up against his joggers and right into you.
You need him. Now.
All rational goes out the window as you push yourself up enough to try and push his trousers down. Before you can get very far, Jungkook’s hands are encompassing your wrists, stopping you. He doesn’t seem angry when you look at him, there’s only an amused smile on his lips.
“What’s the rush?”
“I –” you pause, it’s enough time for you to come back to reality and realise how desperate you must look right now. You plop yourself backwards, sit on Jungkook’s knees as his hands slip from your wrists to encompass your hands. “I don’t know. Sorry.”
He pulls your forward enough to kiss your lips. You can feel the smile is still there.
“Let me at least go get a condom,” he mumbles.
You let out an embarrassed huff of air, your face scrunching in mortification while Jungkook just chuckles. He moves his hands to your hips, pushes you up and then gently gets you to lay on the sofa while he stands. You look up at him, embarrassed, but still don’t want him to leave.
“I’ll only be a minute,” he says before disappearing from view.
You’re left in the silence of your own embarrassment. Lay on the sofa you keep replaying the last ten minutes over in your head. Sure, it was great, kissing Jungkook has definitely exceeded expectations so far. But what must he think of you? Pouncing on him after a failed date.
You place your hands over your face and let out a small groan, missing the noise of the front door quietly closing.
“Don’t tell me you carried on without me?”
You peel your hands off your face, look up surprised to see Jungkook back. Part of you honestly thought that was an excuse to up and run. But there he is, beaming down at you, small foil packet in hand.
“You still wanna?” His voice drifts off, unsure.
You’re still in shock. But a quick glance down shows that he isn’t lying. His trousers are still straining at the groin.
You look back at his face, suddenly feeling very hot. You nod. Jungkook smiles.
“Good,” he mutters before taking his top off. “Because you still owe me.”
You watch as he takes his trousers off, leaving him only in his boxers. And then he kneels before you. Hand on either knee, he twists you so that your feet hit the floor and you’re sat in front of him. As he toys with the hem of your dress, you dutifully lift your arms to let him know he can take it off.
His eyes are near black, focused purely on your chest and the light lace that is covering you, when your dress is on the floor.
“Were you hoping to go home with him?” His voice is as dark as his voice, a husky quality to it that has you clenching around nothing.
“No,” you say honestly, the word enough to have Jungkook drag his eyes up to yours. “I wore it to feel good.”
He nods. His eyes flicking back down to admire your body. You feel good, slightly self-conscious but you must admit that it feels nice to have Jungkook look at you with that much lust on his face.
His hands reach out, lightly run down your sides at the same rate as his eyes. He toys with your lacy pants for a second, eyes flicking up to yours before he starts to pull them down. You lift yourself up a little to help him and then they’re joining your dress on the floor.
Your breaths come out faster. Your head leaning back into your sofa as Jungkook places his hands on your knees and pushes them apart.
How is this happening?
You can’t believe this is happening.
You can’t pull your eyes away from the sight of Jungkook’s head moving towards you. You swear you’ve had a wet dream about it. And now it’s happening.
His tongue is just as delicate as his fingers as he swipes it through your folds. His hands hold firm on your knees as you try to clamp them together around his head. You can feel his smile as his lips go to your clit, his tongue drawing patterns of the bundles of nerves.
When he deems it safe to, one of his hands moves from your knee and with his lips still on your clit, he begins to push into your entrance.
Your hand flies to his head, pushing him further into you while fisting the strands of hair on his head. You moan at the ceiling and push your hips further into Jungkook.
It feels amazing. He feels amazing.
When he pushes another finger into you the coil in your stomach only grows tighter. You moan out again and then realise that the two of you aren’t alone in this house.
“We’ve got to be quiet. Zac’s upstairs,” your voice is breathy, almost husky.
There’s a mumbled noise against your skin, hopefully in recognition of what you’ve said. And despite your words it’s you that’s the noisiest. You can’t help it, however hard you try Jungkook’s lips around your clit and his fingers inside you make it impossible.
You can feel his lips turn into a smile when you let out a particularly loud noise. You wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact that Jungkook pulls away from you. His fingers still in you, his face looking up at you with a certain smugness.
“How we going to get you to be quiet then?”
As if to prove his point you moan out when his fingers push deeply into you. He chuckles, you frown at him. Hands reaching up, you have to push yourself off the sofa a little to wrap them around his neck to pull him up off the floor and into you.
“Like this,” you say before attaching your lips to his.
This time when you moan out it’s swallowed by Jungkook’s mouth.
He expertly works you both sideways, fingers still in you as he manoeuvres you to lay down on the sofa with him hovering over you.
His hand doesn’t become enough. There’s pleasure there still, but you want more, you want all of him. He didn’t go all the way back to his for a condom for nothing.
Placing a hand on his shoulder you get him to pull away from you. “Where’s the condom?”
It takes a second for him to understand, but then he’s doing a scramble to find it. He finds it between the layers of your dress. As you tear it open, he pushes his boxers down. You try not to be intimidated by his size, because as he rolls down himself that’s all you can think.
He is fucking massive.
Jungkook looks smug when you look back at him, as if he’s seen where you were looking and read what you were thinking. You roll your eyes as you pull him back down to kiss you.
“Just shove it in already,” you mumble against his lips, earning a chuckle from him.
He reaches between your bodies, runs his tip through your folds and pushes just the tip inside you. You moan and arch up into him. It already feels like a lot.
“Sure you can handle it?” He jokes, confirming he knew what you were thinking earlier.
You think he probably has a point. But the desire to prove him wrong, or at least wipe the smug smile off his face, is larger. Wrapping your legs around him, you push him down deeper into you as you push your hips up. He must only move a couple of inches, but it’s enough. This time it’s him, not you, that lets a moan out and you don’t have to encourage him to sink the rest of the way in.
There’s a small pause in movement. Your breaths the only noise in the room. You realise you still have your bra on when you feel Jungkook’s chest move along yours. But then he’s placing his lips against yours and delicately kissing you. Softly and slowly, he begins to move.
It’s not the rough, heavy sex you’d imagined. He doesn’t toss you around, or man handle you. He’s slow as he pulls out and though there’s power behind each thrust in, it’s still not rough. A thought flicks through your mind, it’s more like making love than having sex. The thought there one second and then gone when Jungkook thrusts back into you.
It feels good. His lips still on yours, his thrusts building up that feeling inside you, the small moans he keeps letting out only driving you closer to oblivion.
It doesn’t take long. It’s no surprise. Even if his body didn’t look the way it did, his cock is big enough that he wouldn’t need to have much skill to make anyone feel good. But, as if to make it completely unfair, he knows what he’s doing, knows exactly how fast to go, exactly how deep to push into you, knows where to touch and where to kiss to drive you completely insane.
When you come, you come hard. You become a mess in his arms. He swallows every one of your moans as he thrusts a couple more times and then you feel him twitching in you, his own moans rumbling through his chest.
Still inside you, he rolls you so you can lay side by side. You should go to the loo, should put some clothes on or something. But when Jungkook reaches up to pull a blanket off the back of the sofa over the top of you, you find it hard to even keep your eyes open.
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You were hoping Jungkook would be gone before Zac woke up, but when you hear the small feet thundering down the stairs all you can think is how happy you are you both have clothes on.
Zac jumps off the last three steps, a habit you tried to stop early but probably only encouraged him. He runs nearly as far as the kitchen before he realises there’s someone other than you sat on the sofa. He’s too surprised to say anything straight away, his eyes wide as they stare straight at Jungkook.
“Have you brushed your teeth?” You draw his eyes to you. He pauses then with a guilty look nods. “Have you?” You get another less delayed nod. “Come here then.”
He doesn’t move, he knows he’s been caught out. You raise an eyebrow at him and he tries his hardest to hide his smile but fails.
“Go and clean your teeth and I’ll make you breakfast. What do you want?”
His eyes flick to Jungkook before settling back on you. “Why’s Jungkook here?”
Your heart stops before starting at a more rapid pace. “He just slept here last night.”
“You had a sleepover?” He looks hurt as if you purposefully left him out.
“No, well, yes, but it was nothing Zac.” You can feel the way Jungkook tenses next to you, and you know if you were to look at him, he’d be stifling a laugh. “Just go brush your teeth.”
He pauses a second longer, eyes continue to flicking between you but one look at your stern face has him moving back to the stairs.
“And what do you want for breakfast?” You shout after him.
“A ham sandwich, crisps and sausage roll.”
“That’s lunch,” you shout but don’t get a response.
Zac fully out of view now, Jungkook lets out his laugh. When you turn to point your frown at him, you’re met with his face a lot closer than you’d thought. Without much thought he leans in and places his lips against yours. When you stiffen and try to look over your shoulder to double check you really are alone, Jungkook’s hand goes to your head to stop you.
“It’s fine,” he whispers before pressing one last kiss on your lips and drawing away.
You remain stiff even as Jungkook removes himself to a safe distance. It’s just that you’re not used to this. Sure, the morning after stuff is awkward but it’s more that Jungkook looks so relaxed in what should be an incredibly awkward situation.
“You going to go make that ham sandwich?” He smiles at you.
“You going to head off?” You counter.
He raises an eyebrow. “Do I not also get breakfast?”
“Do you want breakfast.”
“Uh, yeah?” He chuckles as if it’s obvious.
You could ask him to leave you guess, but after a moments pause you figure there’s really no reason. Your main worry was Zac seeing him here, but that’s happened now anyway. There really isn’t any reason to force him to leave.
Standing up, you head to the kitchen, Jungkook following in your wake.
“Scrambled eggs on toast?” You ask, already getting the ingredients out, heading to the counter with them.
Jungkook comes up behind you when you’re cracking one of the eggs. His body presses into your back and he leans round to place his head on your shoulder so he can watch what you’re doing. When you twist to ask what he’s doing he only sees it as an opportunity to kiss you.
“Jungkook?” You ask, pulling away.
“What?” He chuckles, staying where he is.
“Zac could walk in any second.”
“I’ll hear him coming down the stairs, it’s fine.”
You’re not as sure and while it’s one thing for Zac to see Jungkook here early, it’s wholly different for him to see him all over you like this. Jungkook seems to get the idea and with a smile and another quick kiss he peels himself off you.
You would never have thought Jungkook the clingy type. But then you wouldn’t have guessed he’d have been so soft with you last night too, so maybe you just have to realise all your assumptions about the man are probably wrong.
Feeling flustered you focus back on your eggs. And when you hear Zac’s feet running down the stairs you realise how unprepared you are for this breakfast.
“Have you washed your hands?” You say over your shoulder.
“What’s Jungkook doing here?”
“I’ve already told you that. Have you washed your hands?”
One glance over your shoulder tells you enough. They’re the words you say before every meal and every time you get the same guilty look. Before you can tell him to go and wash them though, Jungkook’s speaking.
“I haven’t done mine either. Maybe you could show me where the sink is?”
You catch the small nod Zac does before he’s zooming off. Eyes still on the door you miss the fact that Jungkook walks over to you before following Zac and can only freeze when he presses a light kiss to your cheek.
“See, I’ve got this,” he says cockily before disappearing after Zac.
You remain frozen for a few more seconds before realising the eggs are catching and you still need to butter the toast.
Though you’ve managed the whole, looking after a toddler while also doing one hundred other things, it’s not wasted on you how much of a help Jungkook is. He occupies the time it takes for you to get breakfast ready and then helps Zac lay the table for you. He keeps up an easy conversation over the food. And then, when you start to clear up he easily takes Zac out of the way and entertains him for a bit before coming back to help you.
They’re small things, stuff you wouldn’t have even picked up on before Zac was around. But you can’t deny that his easy smiles, coupled with watching him wipe down the table really gets you going. You really are a mum.
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“Oh shit,” you moan, body creeping up the bed.
Jungkook only grunts in return, his hands tightening on your hips to stop you from moving away from him. With the way he’s slamming himself into you, it doesn’t help and you continue to move up the bed.
He slows to a stop, leaning down into you so his chest is against you, face above yours and cock fully in you. His hair is slightly damp from all the effort he’s put in. You’d feel slightly bad if it weren’t for the fact he’s been making you feel extremely good and that he looks incredibly hot with damp hair. He also doesn’t seem to be complaining about the fact you’ve just been laying on your back the entire time.
“Mum’s going to be round soon with Zac,” you manage to get the words out just before he presses his lips to yours.
Slipping his tongue into your mouth, he moves his hips in the same slow but deep rhythm. You try to grind your hips up into his, deepening how far he goes into you with every thrust.
“We’ve got time,” Jungkook mutters back, his lips moving from your mouth to press around your face. “I just need you a different way if I’m going to come any time soon.”
“Mhumm?” You moan, eyes closed, head tilted back to let Jungkook have access to your neck. “How’d you want me?”
He hums, teeth nibbling a little bit of skin as his hips push a final time into you. “On your hands and knees.”
He looks up at you, trying to gage your reaction but when you clench around him, he gets the idea. You hum a little when he pulls out and when he’s given you enough space you turn onto your front. Wait patiently, exactly how Jungkook wants you.
His hand runs down the arch of your back, stopping only to feel the globe of your ass. He lets out a satisfied hum before you feel his cock tapping you.
You arch back and up into him and you hear a little satisfied chuckle as his hand moves to your hip. He keeps you where you are as he runs his tip through your folds.
“I’m not going to last long when I get in you,” he warns.
“Ok,” he breaths, stopping when he’s at your entrance.
His hands tighten on your hips and he lets out a low whine as he pushes into you. He feels so different from this angle, somehow bigger than he felt before. The first few thrusts are slow, you both are getting used to the feel of it. But when you fall onto your elbows, half exhaustion, half because your hands were starting to ache, he hits a particular spot in you that has you moaning into the sheets.
“Oh yeah?” Jungkook asks and you can only let out a gurgled noise in response.
It’s enough. His thrusts grow faster and every time they hit that spot. His balls slap against you, only adding more pleasure. The whole thing is enough to do as you both warned. You come first, hard and out of nowhere. And the feeling of you clamping down is enough to get Jungkook to follow close behind.
Collapsing on your front, Jungkook pulls out of you and gets rid of the condom before lying next to you.
“I should really sort myself out before mum gets here,” you say, though don’t move.
“We’ve got time.”
“Yeah, no offense, but you also need to be gone before she gets here.”
He chuckles, the noise causing a smile to appear on your lips. “I’ll jump the fence if I need to. Stop worrying.”
You roll onto your side and Jungkook flops his head so he can look at you.
“She’ll be able to smell that you’ve been here,” you say and Jungkook grimaces as if weirded out by the comment. “I know. But nothing gets past her.”
Jungkook rolls onto his side. “Well, I can stay and meet her if you want?”
You don’t know why the thought terrifies you so much, but it does. You don’t even know why Jungkook’s offering, but he seems so sincere about it, as if it’s a perfectly normal thing to offer. Surely, it’s too early to be thinking about meeting each other’s parents?
“I can just say you need help putting some shelves up.”
“She’ll make some comment about that being an innuendo,” you roll onto your back.
“Well come on then,” you feel the bed dip and move and when you look back over at Jungkook he’s already standing. “Let me at least help you clean up the evidence.”
There’s a wide smile on his face as he starts to pull on the clothes you all but threw on the floor earlier. He doesn’t look bothered by any of this and while you worried this was only about the sex for him, with all the little things he’s doing, he’s slowly convincing you that maybe it’s not.
“But you better hurry,” he teases when you continue to lay staring at him. “She’s going to be here any minute.”
He does a poor imitation of your voice and when you throw a pillow at him he only chuckles as he catches it. It hits you square in the face when he tosses it back. By the time you’re sat up and moving Jungkook is already out of the room and beginning to tackle the mess you’ve been putting off.
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You continue to sleep together whenever you can find the time without Zac being around. But when there isn’t any, Jungkook is still there.
He plays with Zac outside so you can have some peace while you prepare dinner. He washes the dishes up when he occasionally stays for food so you can go and get Zac ready for bed. He buys you bunches of flowers and little boxes of chocolates. He does things around the house, mows the lawn, stops the cupboard squeaking and makes it so the shower doesn’t leak water out of one side.
He seeps into your life in every way and though you’re cautious, you completely let him in.
You convince yourself it’s nothing serious, mainly because you never discuss what the two of you are. But it’s fun and you live in the moment, enjoy the sex as well as the help you’re getting around the house.
However, you look at it though, you know you’re doing what you said you wouldn’t. You’re letting Jungkook in. Not just into your life, but into Zac’s too. Somehow you can’t seem to feel bad about it.
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You don’t notice him until you round your car to check that Zac is strapped in. It’s barely 7am, not a time you’re used to seeing Jungkook but the movement at his door has you glancing up. You do a double take as you come to a stop by Zac’s door.
There’s a girl looking like she’s just stepped out of his house, she’s close enough to Jungkook to look like they’re about to embrace or make out or maybe both. He’s stood just in his pants looking down at her, you’re too far away and the girl is blocking your view to work out the expression on his face. Or maybe it’s the cool feel of embarrassment that stops you looking too hard.
Still, you can’t pull your eyes away from the scene. As the girl is talking and Jungkook is listening, neither notice you staring.
It’s not the same girl you’ve noticed at his before, no, this is someone you’ve never seen. You’re not sure if that makes it better or worse. What you do know, is how big an idiot you are. Because of course while you were growing to like him, while you were letting him further into your life, he only saw what you had as something else, a bit of fun, a convenience.
It’s your own fault for not talking to him about it. Your own fault for reading into it more than you should have. You’d known who Jungkook was, what he was like, the sort of man he was and yet you’d still been blinded by his words and smiles. You stupidly thought that you were different. One of those stupid girls that thought you’d be the one to change him.
And there he is, after a night with someone else and he doesn’t even care that he’s flaunting it on his front doorstep.
“Mummy, why aren’t you trapping me?”
Zac speaks loudly enough to not just draw your attention but your neighbours too. You catch Jungkook’s eyes dart towards you just before you twist to your son. You don’t correct his wording, you just want to be out of this situation, don’t want your embarrassment to be witnessed by anyone else.
You duck down to Zac’s level and pull the belt over him and his car chair. Satisfied he’s strapped in you stand. Your traitorous eyes can’t help but flick to your neighbour’s door, however hard your brain is screaming not to look.
The girl is a step further away from the door now, her head looking between you and Jungkook. Jungkook’s gaze is firmly on you. It looks like he’s about to open his mouth and shout something at you. That or take off in a run in your direction.
Springing into action, blood coursing through you, you leap into the drivers seat, buckle yourself in and take off in reverse.
You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you start down the road. Though you know nothing is going to happen there’s thoughts of Jungkook opening your door or banging on your window. None of that happens. When you flick your eyes in the rear-view mirror, he’s not even left his doorstep.
Your heart falls into the bottom of your stomach.
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“I know what I saw Rosie.”
“Well talk me through it one more time.”
You sigh, look down at the tea in your hands before flicking your eyes to your son. Zac is still playing with the little girl who approached him fifteen minutes ago and is happily getting bossed around in a game with her. It’s sweet to see the bundle of energy that is your son be so placid sometimes. It’s also great to be at one of your favourite coffee shops, kids play area and all with your best friend moments after the most embarrassing time of your life. Though you don’t want to relive every detail of what happened in the car before coming here, it’s kind of nice to hash it out with Rosie.
“There was a girl, all dressed up as if she’d had to put on the clothes she was out in last night, stood on Jungkook’s doorstep while he stood basically naked saying goodbye.”
Rosie hums, her head bobbing up and down in thought. “Yep. I’ve got to admit I’m struggling to see any good angles.”
“That’s because there are no good angles,” you whine.
“Well, I’m guessing the nearly naked bit was good.”
The glare you shoot at her has her sitting straighter in her chair, her hands almost raising in defence.
“Yep. Agreed. Definitely one of the worst bits. Ok.”
You sigh, eyes flicking once again to Zac.
“And what the hell am I supposed to tell Zac?” It’s the first time you’ve thought about it, because although this is your issues, it’s also going to affect Zac. “I can just ignore Jungkook, but Zac will still ask questions and while I’d dive away from him in public Zac won’t do the same.”
“Right,” Rosie says with the air of a woman with no children, therefore lacking all understanding of your predicament. “Well, my first thoughts in all of this, and please don’t kill me when I say this. But, why don’t you talk to Jungkook first?”
“Why would I do that?” You ask flatly.
“Because you clearly have no idea what you were looking at this morning.”
“What gave you that impression? I’ve very obviously stated just how much I saw.”
“Yes, and while I admit it didn’t look great, neither of us can fully explain it. The only person who can happens to live only a short trip from your house.”
“Not going to happen,” you say, taking a sip of your tea and looking away from her. It does nothing to convince her to change the topic.
“You’re both adults. Maybe what you thought you saw wasn’t exactly what it was,” when you continue to not look convinced, she sighs. “Fine, give him a piece of your mind, walk away from him and avoid him like the plague. But what if you’re building this up to be something it really isn’t?”
“I know Jungkook, and I know what that was.”
“From what you’ve told me about him, I really don’t believe it for a second.”
Your ice-cold glare does nothing, she just levels her gaze right back at you. In the end it’s you who give in first.
“I’m not going around to his only to have what I already know laid out so plainly for me. You don’t understand how mortifying it was this morning.”
Rosie’s eyes turn softer, a glint of pity seeping into them. When she speaks her tone is softer and her body starts to lean in towards you.
“I get it. But I also get the impression that Jungkook would never do that to you or Zac.”
The mention of your son’s name makes your heart pound. You look over at him, he looks so happy sat on the floor piling blocks high with the little girl. It makes your heart hurt to imagine him asking after Jungkook and you having to tell him that he can’t see him anymore. The laughs and giggles that always came out of him when Jungkook is around. The manly figure in his life gone like that. This is why you didn’t want to get close to him. This is why you didn’t want anything to happen. Because although you’re hurting right now, you know it’ll feel nothing in comparison to breaking it to your son.
“Will you just think about it at least?” Rosie asks, dragging your eyes back to her.
You sigh and then nod. “I’ll think about it.”
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You think about it all of two seconds and know you will never be knocking on Jungkook’s door, nor will you be hanging around outside long enough for him to catch you. No, you will be doing exactly as Rosie suggested and avoiding him like the plague.
This is why you never wanted to get involved with him. Because you knew what would happen in the end, you knew what type of man he was. And why you may have accepted that in the past, gone with the man for a bit of fun. Now, things have changed, it’s not just you that you have to think about.
You spend the time alone thinking it through. The more time you have, the more certain you are. Jungkook was a mistake. But now you know that you can move on as best you can. He doesn’t want you, that’s fine, you can accept that and do your best to pick up whatever pieces of Zac that break.
Surprisingly, for nearly a week, it works.
Unsurprisingly, when there’s an unexpected knock at your door Saturday evening when Zac is in bed, it’s Jungkook.
You know it’s going to be him before you open the door, or at least have a strong feeling it is. Your face is already set in a grimace, so luckily it’s not a delivery man or an unsuspecting stranger. You open the door enough for Jungkook to see you, but only enough that your body is blocking any view inside.
You raise an eyebrow at the word. Has he really come here after a week and the first word he says is hey? You can almost see the cold sweat breaking out across his forehead, but to his credit Jungkook remains calm.
“So, I was thinking it’s been a while since we last saw each other and I was wondering how you are?”
“Are you shitting me right now?”
You have half a mind to slam the door in his face and as if reading that thought Jungkook sticks a hand out and props it on the door. He doesn’t push it open, he doesn’t apply any pressure, he just rests it there so he can stop you closing him out.
“Can I come in so we can talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about?”
It’s Jungkook’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Given this reaction, there is clearly lots to talk about Y/N.”
“And if I don’t want to talk?”
He closes his eyes. You’re not sure if he’s praying or taking a second to calm himself down. Either way, when he opens them and looks at you, they seem darker, more intense, like he has more purpose now.
“Right, if you want to do it here, let’s do it here,” he says and doesn’t give you time to interrupt. “I know you saw me last week with Clare. I know what it looked like and I know what you thought. Maybe I’ve been utterly shit in not coming sooner but I wanted to give you space to figure things out on your own; I realise now that was a mistake.”
You’re so thrown by the last comment you don’t speak in the small pause. Should you be offended? Jungkook carries on, as if satisfied you’re listening to him.
“Clare is an ex of sorts, and she came over early, before I had chance to get dressed, and that’s what you saw. Nothing else. Nothing more.”
You don’t know how to feel. You don’t know whether to believe him. Because although he sounds like he’s telling the truth, he also sounds like he really wants you to believe him and for whatever reason you’re not sure why he’d cared so much about what you think.
“You always answer the door in your pants?”
It’s clearly not the words he was hoping for, but he still gives you an answer. “When I’ve just woken up, yes.”
“And she didn’t stay the night?”
The question, although spoken with a little less bite, a little less certainty, seems to be more what Jungkook was expecting. Though you’ve given him little reason to relax, his shoulders look less tense, his weight leans forwards so the door creaks open a touch. You try to hold your ground as your traitorous heart pounds in your chest.
“No one has stayed the night since I’ve been with you.”
Your eyes flick around his face trying to read the truth there. You can’t spot the lie, though you still don’t fully believe it.
“She didn’t even come inside,” he carries on. “In fact, she was at my door all of ten minutes before she left. If you hadn’t driven off, you would have seen that.”
“Ok?” He frowns. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Yes. You’ve explained, so, ok.”
Jungkook remains, frown between his eyes, hand still on your door. And you stare right back at him, feet planted, door not swinging open.
“I don’t understand,” he admits, voice soft.
“Right, because you expected me to jump back into your arms?” The silence tells you the answer you already knew. This man’s ego is way too big. “I guess I just realised who you are and why we don’t work together. What happened between us was a mistake and I’m sorry if you’ve been pushing girls aside for whatever reason, but you don’t have to anymore.”
Jungkook continues to look confused. It only makes you drive the message home a little stronger.
“We were never going to work. You’re you and I’m me and while we had fun, that’s all it was ever going to be. I guess I just remembered who you are and why I can’t afford to have you around me and Zac.”
Jungkook’s hand slips from the door and the look of hurt on his face almost makes you regret the words. But it’s true, isn’t it? You’re not sure what he was coming here to say, that he wanted to carry on sleeping with you for a bit longer? That you were convenient living next door and he didn’t want to give that up just yet? Aren’t the words you just said what he would have been telling you weeks down the line when you and your son were no doubt in too deep?
No. It was better you told him how it was now. It was better you ripped off the plaster. It was better you ended this now before Jungkook broke your heart. Because although you’re hurting now, although you want to drag him inside and let his explanation be enough, you know that it’ll only be worse later.
Jungkook’s hand now free from your door you see your chance.
“I’ll still see you around though,” the words feel bitter as they leave your lips and your tone lacks any conviction. “I’m still happy to lend you sugar like any other neighbour.”
Jungkook doesn’t speak, his eyes focused on something in the near distance, he looks like he’s trying to solve a puzzle or an over complex maths equation.
You swallow as his eyes finally move to yours. The frown is still there but they look dark and not in the same way they did earlier. No, the look in them now makes your stomach coil. He looks like he’s figured something out. You can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing.
You don’t give yourself long enough to figure it out. You need to be out of this situation. You need Jungkook off your doorstep. You need to make sure he doesn’t say anything to change you’re easily swayed mind.
“I’ll see you around,” you squeak and then you slam the door closed in his face.
You lean into the door as your chest rises and falls. You did it, though you doubted yourself, you told him what you’d been thinking the last week, that although you didn’t really want him out of your life, it was better he was out of it.
You don’t hear his footsteps. You don’t see his shadow move away from your door. You remain leaning on your door for a minute after closing it but you’re unaware of Jungkook leaving either. Heart in your throat, you twist and walk away, hoping that’s the last you hear from the man but knowing it won’t be.
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It starts with flowers. A big bloom that gets delivered first thing in the morning. They get shoved in your hands and the woman is walking away before you can tell them they must have got the wrong address. Your names on the card though, and when you prize it open you know who they’re from even though it’s got no signature.
You never let me finish. Let me take you out for dinner?
You bite the inside of your cheek, send a glare at your neighbour’s brick wall.
You still put them in water. You still cut their stems and arrange them and then place the large vase on your countertop. It would be a waste to throw them away. But you don’t attempt to reply to the question on the card. That, you throw away.
It takes Jungkook a few hours to text you, chasing for an answer.
Jungkook: Did you get my flowers?
Y/N: They’re yours? I thought they must have come to the wrong house.
Jungkook: Is that why you put them in that pretty vase and up on display? What did you think about the note that came with it?
Y/N: It’s in the bin where it belongs.
Jungkook: Let me take you out for dinner.
Y/N: I’m busy.
Jungkook: I never even gave you a date or time.
Y/N: I struggle getting a babysitter for Zac as it is.
Jungkook: Then let me cook for you. He can sleep while we talk.
Y/N: I really am busy Jungkook.
Jungkook: Think about it. I just want to talk.
Sure, you think, I’ll think about it. The same length of time you thought about whether you’d go and talk to him before. All of two seconds.
No, you’re not going to have dinner with him. You don’t particularly want to talk to him ever again.
Maybe it’s childish given he’s your neighbour. What he did wasn’t awful, it’s more that you know if you give him even an inch then he’ll take a mile and you’ll just let him back in. You liked having him around, you liked the help, you liked being able to talk to someone your age, you liked someone looking after you. But it’s not just about you.
You’re bound to see him around and that doesn’t mean you won’t give him a neighbourly hello and nod. That will be it. No opening up about your life. No asking to babysit. No late night drinks. No kissing on the sofa. No anything more.
You can’t even think about it. You may be pretending to be hard and over it, but Jungkook had successfully wormed his way into your life and if it wasn’t for Zac, you’d more than happily curl up in your bed and mope for a few days.
You’ve successfully been played. And it feels shit.
“Mummy,” you look over at Zac. “You’ve been sat of that sofa forever.”
He never fails to put a smile on your face. And just like you were thinking before, he successfully gets you out of your slump. You could sulk all you want in private, but with Zac around you have to set an example.
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You don’t go to Jungkook’s for dinner, instead make some half-arsed excuse as to why you can’t go. He must know you’re still pushing him away and at least this time he lets you. You get a simple reply to your text rejecting his invitation. No offers to rearranged. No accusations or callouts for your excuse. No attempt to carry on the conversation. Just an understanding message.
You’re not sure why but you feel a little disappointed. Even though it’s what you were hoping for.
It doesn’t take long for the next attack to come. This time it’s not flowers or offers of dinners but is instead small acts of kindness. Your lawn mowed without having to ask. Your bins emptied and cleaned. Your car cleaned. All things Jungkook’s done in the past and if you didn’t know him you’d find slightly creepy, but instead find endearing.
You hate that you feel that way.
His texts don’t start immediately. But when they start, they come in steady streams. There’s no pressure in any of them and while you hardly reply to any of them, they’re still said in the same tone, sweet and light. They all say pretty much the same thing, that he wants to meet to talk. But you’re not ready and you don’t want to. No matter what he says it won’t change who he is and it won’t change the fact that you’ll like slip again and you can’t afford to be with someone like that.
You see him in passing, him leaving while you’re arriving home. Again, he never pressures you into talking but always smile and waves at you.
You start to feel a little awkward. You know what he’s doing, guilt tripping you into giving in; you just don’t understand why he’s doing it. Surely he should have given up by now, surely if you’re just someone to sleep with this isn’t worth it.
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You’re sat on your front garden watching Zac cycle around when you hear his front door open. You don’t look his way, but you tense with expectation. Zac hasn’t noticed Jungkook yet, he’s still happily going in the circle you’d allowed him to, from pavement pausing to checking the silent road for a car, crossing to the other side and going around. He’s babbling about something, shouting about being chased by a dinosaur as he whizzes around.
There are three footsteps before they go silent. And you prepare for whatever he’s about to say.
It’s been close to two weeks now and while he’s been doing small but thoughtful gestures, you have successfully put off talking to him. You’ve passed him in the street a couple of time, but every time have managed with a nod and a hello, the greeting you’d wished was normal for the two of you.
He doesn’t say anything this time though, just stands wherever it is he’s stopped. You fight the urge to look at him, foot tapping on the floor as you fight to keep your eyes on Zac.
Your restrain is only so strong. When you look over your shoulder he’s already staring right at you.
Your heart stutters. Your foot stops it’s tapping. He doesn’t look angry or sad, in fact there’s a small smile on his lips. His attire is much the same as you always see, an oversize shirt with sleeves that go to his elbow, letting you see his arm full of tattoos and skinny black jeans. He’s stood on his side of the drive; you can’t even accuse him of trespassing. The only thing you could possibly tell him is that he’s being creepy. But even that would be a lie.
“Hey,” his smile widens now you’re looking at him.
You don’t reply, can barely manage a smile. Every time before now you’ve been on your way in or out. You had an excuse for a quick escape. Now, sat on your front garden, you feel trapped.
“You alright?”
And yet, Jungkook still isn’t pushing you. However big a dick he’s been or might be, he’s never forced you to speak to him. Maybe you’re the one being a bigger dick. Maybe speaking to him won’t be as bad as you think. Maybe you’ll actually like whatever it is he wants to tell you.
Just as you open your mouth to reply, Zac beats you to it.
You wince at the name screamed across the street. It’s not the volume that causes your reaction but the pure joy in which the name is said.
You’re still focused on Jungkook’s face, trying to conceal your reaction as he looks over at Zac with a wider smile when you hear it.
A crash. Metal scraping along tarmac. Silence for a second and then a scream, the noise so much louder than the name he shouted mere seconds ago.
Eyes wide, heart pounding, your head whips away from Jungkook in the direction of the noise. Zac must have turned too soon, distracted by the sight of Jungkook he’d lost control of his bike and left the pavement too soon, only to crash and fall off the curb.
You shoot to your feet, your focus solely on your crying son who has a bike now on top of him and is calling out for you. Time seems to slow. Your feet don’t move fast enough. Zac is too far away. And even though you run faster than you ever have, you still don’t make it before Jungkook. He’s pulling the bike off your son, trying to sooth him when you get there.
You swallow the tightness in your throat, the fear creeping up your chest, as you look at your scraped up son.
“Mummy,” he wails, eyes landing on you, tears streaming down his face as blood oozes in the cuts on his palms and knees.
You reach out for him, but again, Jungkook is too fast. He lifts Zac into his arms as if he weighs nothing and then he's ever so carefully handing him over.
“It’s ok, baby,” you hold him to your chest, hand soothing his head. “You’re ok. It’s just a little cut.”
But it’s more than that. It’s the shock of the accident, it’s more than a little cut and for you, it’s the fear that it could have been a lot worse. What if a car was coming down the road when it happened? What if he’d landed differently? What if he’d hit his head? You shouldn’t have been so focused on Jungkook. You shouldn’t have let Zac cycle around all on his own, he’s still so young. You should have –
“Come on,” a warm, steady hand squeezes your shoulder. “Let’s get you two inside and cleaned up.”
You look at Jungkook, your own tears welling in your eyes. As if sensing your rising panic, Jungkook’s expression changes and the hand on your shoulder moves to your lower back. He adds a small amount of pressure and is steering you in the direction of your house.
You let him guide you. Your feet, your body, everything but Zac in your arms and Jungkook’s hand on your back cease to exist. Mind racing about what you need to do you don’t realise Jungkook’s led you into your living room until his hand leaves your back. Eyes snapping to his already retreating body, he says nothing.
Panic still rooted in you; it takes you a second to react.
You need to calm Zac down. You need to clean his wounds. You need wipes, plasters and a blanket and hot bottle of milk. You need to –
“You need to calm down,” Jungkook says lightly as he comes back. “You can’t help anyone in this state.”
Hand back on your shoulder he guides you once again, this time until the back of your knees hit the sofa and then you’re sat. You look over Zac’s shoulder to see Jungkook kneeling before you, supplies in his arms. He has a hard look on his face, one that tells you to pull yourself together. You give him a small nod as you twist Zac around to face Jungkook, his arms tighten around your neck and your heart breaks a little.
“We’re ok, aren’t we Zac?” Jungkook says lightly. “Let’s have a look at that cut.”
You swallow as you watch Jungkook’s hand and eyes go to Zac’s cut knee. He waits a second and then lets out a loud, exaggerated gasp. Zac’s head pulls out of the crook in your neck to look at Jungkook and his wide eyes. Tears are still falling down his face, but the reaction has stopped the sobs.
“Oh Zac,” Jungkook says in another dramatic tone. You know he’s joking, you just worry that Zac doesn’t know that and Jungkook’s going to do the opposite of what he’s hoping. “I think you might survive. You know why?”
Zac’s little head shakes and you can only watch as Jungkook completely takes control of the situation.
“Because you’re being so brave. I mean look at you, I don’t know anyone braver,” Jungkook’s eyes dart up to you, a small smile now playing on his face at whatever look he’s seen on your face. “Don’t you agree, mummy?”
It takes you a second, mind scrambled, but you squeeze your hands on Zac’s shoulders. “So brave.”
“See,” Jungkook says. “Now, shall we have a look at cleaning you up? You have to be extra brave for me though, and if you promise me you will, then maybe after we can have some chocolate ice cream.”
Zac head nods and Jungkook smiles widely at him. You watch as Jungkook mutters how amazing your son is being while he cleans him up, he even makes him giggle at one point.
You stroke your hand over his head and try not to let your mind spiral. Jungkook is being so good and while you have no doubt that he would never let anything that may be happening between you get between him and Zac, it’s something wholly different to see. You’re not sure what you would have done had he not been there. And while you could pin some of the blame on him, not a single part of you wants to.
You’ve treated him like crap. Ignored him when all he wanted to do was talk. And yet he’s still here, acting as if everything is ok. That doesn’t seem like something the guy you’ve been imagining in your head would do. You’ve been way too harsh.
When Zac’s all cleaned up, you do as promised. While you help him change into cleaner, less cut, clothes, Jungkook finds him some ice cream. By the time he’s all tucked up watching Moana, there’s a bit more life in his face.
You don’t say anything as you leave him to it and head to the kitchen, and you don’t say anything when Jungkook follows you. Silently you flick the kettle and pull two mugs towards you.
“Can we talk?”
It’s what he’s been asking for days, in that same unexpecting tone. You’re in no doubt that if you said you didn’t want to talk, however hard Jungkook may find that, he’d still respect your wishes.
You make him wait a little longer now. Put a tea bag in each mug before pouring the just boiled water over them. When you twist Jungkook’s leaning against your counter, the portrait of indifference, though his eyes tell a different story as they bore into you.
“What do you want to say Jungkook?” You still have to force the words out.
He seems to relax while tense all at the same time. He takes a step towards you and looks as if he’d take another before thinking better and stopping. It’s as if now, finally given the chance, he’s not quite sure what to say. Or maybe he just doesn’t know where to start.
“I’ve already been through the whole what you saw wasn’t what it looked like thing. But you never let me carry on,” he pauses, as if expecting you to stop him again now. When you don’t, he carries on. “The reason I wanted to clear things up is because I don’t want you thinking of me that way or thinking that I was for some reason using you or Zac. I really like you Y/N. It wasn’t just a fling for me, I thought you got that?”
Clearly you didn’t. You’d hoped, sure, but the minute there was even the smallest of hints to say any different, you’d jumped on it. Jungkook seems to read that even though you don’t say anything.
“Why is that so hard for you to believe?”
You shrug feeling awkward, but Jungkook waits for you to say it verbally. “Well, because I’m me and I have a son and a really messy life.”
Jungkook’s lips twitches at the edges. “You know I love Zac too, right?”
“Playing in the street is something wholly different to going out with his mum.”
“You make it sound like I’m a kid too,” he laughs. “But of course I get that.”
“He’s not always happy and playful.”
“I think we just established that.”
“Yeah, but he’s hard work and needy and rowdy.”
“Where’s the downside here?”
“Jungkook,” you warn but he just laughs and takes another step towards you, now close enough to grasp your hands and lift them between your bodies.
“I honestly get it. You two are a package deal. That doesn’t put me off.”
You struggle, look at your hands laced together. You don’t pull away from him, but you also don’t fall into his arms. Something is still hold you back.
“What is it?” Jungkook encourages.
You take a breath and then look up into his eyes. “What if you don’t always feel that way? What if one day you decide it is too hard and isn’t worth it and just leave?”
He detangles one of his hands with yours so he can reach up to cup your cheek. His eyes look so soft now, though his features look hard and set with whatever thoughts he’s thinking.
“I would never just leave you two,” he says, thumb moving over your jaw. “Listen, I can’t promise anything about the future, maybe we won’t work and if we don’t I wouldn’t just up and leave you and Zac – I live next door, I wouldn’t be able to get very far,” he tries to lighten the mood and when you let out a small laugh, he looks happy that he succeeded. “But what if we did work? What if this is it? What if we’re meant to be together? Won’t you at least give it a try?”
You can see the hope swimming in his eyes, can see the desire and the truth behind every word he’s spoken. He really means it. He wants to be with you and he doesn’t care that you’re a single mum with an over enthusiastic child, that hasn’t put him off.
And you know he’s right. You’re pushing him away on what if’s and though you may not work out, should that be enough to stop you from having happiness in the here and now?
Jungkook patiently waits the few seconds for you to mull it over, but really you’ve been a sucker all along. You wouldn’t have been able to deny him for much longer, no matter what happened.
“Ok,” you finally say and watch as Jungkook’s whole face lights up.
“Ok?” He repeats, unbelieving.
You giggle and before you can confirm it a second time his lips are on you. Hard and heavy and a whole lot of teeth, it’s not the sexiest kiss you’ve ever had but it’s definitely in your top five, even given the fact it only lasts a second.
Jungkook stays close, his hand still on your jaw, his nose nearly brushing yours, a wide toothy grin on his lips.
“Can I take you out for that meal now then?”
You can’t supress your smile even as you roll your eyes. “I’ll look for a babysitter.”
“No,” he stops you. “I want Zac to come too.”
Your heart stutters, breath caught in your chest. It’s the three of you now and Jungkook already knows how important that is to you.
You lean in to kiss him again before mumbling against his lips. “Ok.”
5K notes · View notes
chateautae · 29 days
stretch you out | knj. & jjk. (m)
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banner by the lovely kiri @rkivian !! <33
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➵ summary: you have a plan for your crappy, diabolical ex who’s set on ruining your life; making him jealous by snagging a raunchy photo with two hot employees at the gym. what you didn’t have a plan for? befriending the mischievous pair to aid in your revenge and ending up underneath not just one, but both of them.
➵ pairing: gym employee!namjoon x f. reader x gym employee!jungkook
➵ genre: college!au, strangers to friends to lovers!au, porn but with plot :), the dIRTIEst smut, fluff
➵ rating: 18+
➵ word count: 24k
➵ warnings: swearing, toxic masculinity (the ex), heavy making out, sexual tENSION, explicit sexual content, threesome <3, dom!namjoon & jungkook, sub!reader, big dicc!namjoon & jungkook, praising!! with a side of humiliation/degradation, use of slut, breast fondling, dirty talk, size kink cause this features our bIG BEEFY VIRGOS, delicious amounts of teasing, lots of ear-licking/sucking, pussy fondling, pussy-eating, clit play, finger-sucking, oral (m. receiving) x2, spanking, hair-pulling, ball-fondling, deep-throating, face-fucking, fingering, swallowing, unprotected sex (pls be safer!!), begging, roughhh sex, voyuerism, exhibitionism, slight possession kink, facial hehe, multiple orgasms, cum-eating, face-sitting/riding, double penetration, spitting, creampie, aftercare <33
➵ a/n: YAYYY it's here!! this was supposed to be me namkook september birthday gift but ugh life really got in the way! pls forgive me and enjoy, your feedback means the world to me <3 ALSO thank you endlessly to @rkivian for creating this pretty banner for me!! (pls excuse mistakes i did not have a beta pFT)
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“Hobi, you know I’m not gonna do that.” 
 “C’mon, Y/N, it’s the only solution.” 
 “Hobi, I love you, but I am not going to get revenge dick.” You scold your beloved best friend Hobi over the phone as you saunter towards the gym, babbling to him through your headphones. 
 “Oh c’mon, Y/N, this is literally the only way. If Jack’s gonna be an ass about this, then you get to be an ass, too. I’m so sick of that loser talking shit about you and thinking he’s getting back at you by hoeing around.” 
 Hobi’s defensive words touch you, entering your campus gym with a lighter heart. You smile politely at the desk workers once your membership is swiped, making your way towards your usual equipment. 
 “He can hoe around all he wants, Hobi, but getting revenge dick isn’t fair to the guy I do it with. That’s using someone and I don’t wanna stoop to Jack’s level.” You rebuttal, seating yourself with a plop on a bench, tying your shoelace. 
 “But that’s because Jack’s not letting the other girls know. If you have a willing partner who’s down for a revenge scheme, then you’re not using them at all.” 
 You guffaw at that, starting your first set with a shake of your head. It’s no secret your ex Jack Lowen has been the epitome of a devil’s spawn lately, enough that it’s a hot and juicy rumour campus is devouring. To say your break up was messy was an understatement, your break up was a disaster, enough that Jack transformed from a sweet, loving boyfriend into a 14-year-old bully with a wounded ego. 
 Your break up was on the grounds of a shitload of things; jealousy, incompatibility issues, lack of ambition, but the one factor that pushed Jack over the edge was the absolute unavoidable; you thought the sex was medicore. 
  “You’re fucking with me, Hobi, there’s no way anyone would just be down for revenge sex with no strings attached.” You were right in saying that, except, you’re also knowledgeable of Jack’s recent escapades to demonstrate he, in fact, wasn’t mediocre at sex. Whether it was to prove something or genuinely improve himself, you’re unsure, but Jack has disgustingly sworn nearly every female he’s banged into secrecy, or at least, lying to preserve his reputation.
 He’s become the very definition of scum, and your heart only goes out to the women he’s manipulating and using.
 “Hey, first of all, many people would be down for meaningless sex with you; you’re hot.” A small smile finds your face despite the shitty situation, but not because of his compliment, because Hobi’s an ass.
 “Thanks for lying, asshole.” 
 “Damn, and I thought my sarcasm wasn’t detectable.” Hobi kisses his teeth. “Well, anyway, the second part of my speech is that I never mentioned sex, I just meant that if you ask, there are people that can totally help you with making someone jealous. It doesn’t have to be something drastic like sex.” 
 Intrigued, you let the idea simmer. While Hobi may have rambunctious ideas that have once landed you drunkenly fishing your leg out a frozen lake, this may be one of his moments. “What do you mean?” 
 “I mean that Jack’s ego is the size of Russia and he turns into a little bitch when it’s threatened, Y/N. If he even sees you with another guy, he’ll be shitting the bed.” 
 You cringe. “That’s disgusting.” 
 “And in fact true; why did you date this guy again?” 
 “Because as shitty as a guy he is now, he was never like this before.” You answer in argument, but it’s not long before disappointment taints your heart. It truly upsets you to see how much Jack has allowed something so small to entirely destroy his once kind-hearted character. He was pure and good and kind, he was everything a girlfriend could’ve asked for, he just simply needed to take some pointers on his game. 
 Turns out questioning a man’s game is the key to triggering his fragile masculinity.
 “Bleh, forget him. There are plenty of guys who are everything he was and actually know how to fuck. You’re literally at the gym right now. Go hit on some muscly dude and get his number.” Hobi suggests, and you have to snicker, clicking about on the elliptical and setting it to your needs. 
 “What does being at the gym have to do with anything?” 
 You hear Hobi scoff as you begin exercising, his tone ever-so matter-of-fact. “Guys that work out are much better at sex, duh?” 
 Your eyes widen, dryly laughing. “Hobi, there’s no way I’m going up to a random guy at the gym right now and asking him to fuck me. That would literally be the equivalent of me being goddamn Jack!” 
 “Y/N, like I said, it doesn’t have to be sex. Start with something harmless, maybe get a number and either post something on your story or send something to Jack.” 
 You furrow your brows together, attempting to map out where exactly there’s a good idea in that. “Hobi, that would be adding fuel to the fire.” 
 “You’re only adding wood to the fire with something small like this, Y/N, not goddamn kerosene. Jack needs to know you’re not taking this sitting down, he’s been bragging about having silenced you for weeks and I’m fucking tired of hearing it.” 
 Hobi’s protectiveness brightens your face, sighing when you see his point. “Alright, you’re right. I can’t have that asshole thinking I’m crying into my pillow every night over him.” 
 “Exactly, be a boss bitch and show him that he’s not even phasing you.” 
 Feeling empowered, you speed up your elliptical, letting Hobi’s words and your newfound determination drive you. “You’re fucking right, Hobi. He’s the bottom of the goddamn barrel and I’m not fishing for scraps.” 
 “Hell no you aren’t, now go grab a sexy mofo and do something about it!” 
 You and Hobi giggle together before you end your call, endlessly thanking him for being a wonderful friend. You were genuinely grateful Hobi has always looked out for you; being an active member at your school’s athletic center meant he knew nearly every athlete on campus, but also knew the “locker room talk” any of the teams had. He’d always thought of jocks as diseases and wanted you permanently immune to them. 
 But alas, Jack wiggled his way into your life when you found out he was your co-worker’s brother at a work dinner, and the rest is now horrible history. You’d think a volleyball player would be incredibly professional, well-mannered and poised, but jocks are jocks, and he and his friends are pretentious pricks. 
 You roll your eyes recalling the way they all immediately turned on you, despising their hideous culture of mob mentality. Anyone that became your friend was now an enemy fuelling Jack’s idea to fuck any woman willing to have him—you shiver at the thought of such corruption. 
 Nevertheless, with Hobi’s advice now frocling about in your mind, you get to thinking. ‘A piece of wood, not kerosene’ you think, attempting to concoct something subtle. Outwardly fucking another man would only stoop you to his level, but you wanted to be crafty, tasteful, make Jack’s blood boil as he slowly witnesses how little of a shit you give about him. 
 Submerged in deep thought, you survey the gym, getting a look at the pile. You conjure a mental list of the men you found attractive, and ruled out anyone far from your type. 
 That was difficult, though, because a campus gym was usually filled with self-centered athletes who advertised their muscles for a fuck—not your type at all.
 Sighing, you flicker towards the receptionist area when you hear noise, brushing over the usual workers until your jaw quite literally drops. 
 You spot the two most gorgeous men you have ever seen in your life.
 You nearly choke, almost slipping up on the elliptical until your brain begins functioning again. You only started hitting the gym a couple weeks ago, and have never seen these two here before, but by the looks of their attire they’re definitely employees. 
 They weren’t just brawny, they were deliciously tall with striking features individual to each. One was dressed in a grey t-shirt and had mesmerizing dragon eyes. He was certainly wider, indicative of someone who works out often, but his smile is utterly to die for when you detect dimples on his face. 
 The other was lethal, too. A sleeve of tattoos sprawled up his arm as he sported a silver chain and a loose black t-shirt. You noticed his cute eyes and button nose pleasantly complemented his small, pink lips. The cute features on his face funnily contrasted his bulky body, though—he must do some form of boxing or vigorous training. 
 Smacking your chest to breathe, you blink multiple times and focus on the gym mirror in front of you. You tell yourself no; these gorgeous men are totally out of your league and you need to stay in line. 
 But your pesky eyes keep sliding in their direction, eating up the scene of them chatting away with people who swoon over them. 
 Completely valid, you think. You’re in the same boat, despising that Hobi’s advice keeps ringing in your head. You just know even being seen with one of them would get Jack’s blood boiling, deliciously so. Your mind is brewing, contemplating how you can cook up a good revenge scheme. Hobi did say you didn’t have to get sex from someone, it could be any stranger at least willing to make someone jealous. 
 Perhaps a photo would suffice; posting on your story or ‘accidentally’ sending Jack something should get the deed done. 
 But now you’re fucked. How on Earth are you going to approach either one of the beautiful strangers and ask for a photo with them? That’s just creepy, borderline fan behaviour that’d make them laugh in your face. 
 But then again, it’s just a photo. All you have to tell them is that they’re simply part of a revenge scheme. You’re sure if someone asked you for a photo to make some shitty ex jealous, you’d agree. 
 You’re not exactly normal, though. 
 Wrestling with your inner sanity, you’re so distracted your vision strays from the gym mirror, deep in thought. You flicker upwards to solve your goddamn turmoil until you nearly jump out of your own skin. 
 The two strangers are looking at you through the reflection. 
 They smoothly abort their mission once your eyes connect, but you know they were looking at you, and you know the flicker of desire that flashed in their gaze. Elated, your confidence skyrockets, practically jumping for joy once you realize you’re not entirely insane. 
 They’re just people, Y/N, not everyone’s an ass like Jack. 
 Exhaling a deep breath, you stop your exercising, grip your phone, and mentally conjure a socially-acceptable script. 
 Settling on the floor, you turn on your heel, flitting across the room to find the pair of hotties now at work. They’ve switched their shift with the previous workers, the one with tattoos managing the front desk and the other welcoming gym members. 
 You inhale and exhale again, preparing yourself for the absolute worst. The most they’d do is say no, right? And there should be no harm in asking, it’s just a photo, not like you’ll end up with either of them kidnapping you.
 Persevering, you question yourself each step you take in their direction, on the cusp of either jumping ship or risking a wreckage. Your internal monologue runs out before you’re a couple of feet from the pair, and you’re unavoidable now. 
 Their eyes settle on you, and your mouth opens before you can review your words. “Hi, I’m so sorry to interrupt you guys but do you have a minute?” 
 The one with tattoos tilts his head, almost adorably so. “Of course, is there something we can help you with?” 
 “Whatever you need, ma’am.” The bulkier one adds on. 
 “So, um, this may sound weird, but hear me out,” you caution, politely smiling. “I’m caught in this dumb back and forth with my ex and need to post a photo on my story as revenge. Is it okay if I take a photo with either one of you guys? I promise it would only take five seconds.” 
 You ramble out the words so stupidly, the internal scream you let out is agonizing. The pair stares at you like they’ve never heard this combination of words in a sentence before, and you’re certain you’re doomed. On the verge of crying out in embarrassment, you prepare a failsafe. 
 “Actually, nevermind, it was stupid to ask–” 
 “Woah, hey, where do you think you’re going?” Dragon eyes gorgeously smiles, and an arrow is shot through your heart. 
 Doe eyes on the other side of the desk hides his chuckle with his fist. “Yeah, we didn’t even answer yet.” 
 Smiling shyly, you motion for them to speak. “May I be privy to the answer?” 
 “Certaintly, but you gotta give us more context. A revenge scheme? An ex?” Tattoos queries through a laugh. 
 Feeling cheeky, you rest your elbow on the desk and slightly tilt your head, eyes dancing when you regard him. “How’s about I tell you after you take the photo?” 
 “Ouu, she’s crafty.” Dragon eyes hums, moving his head side to side in contemplation. “I’d say yes to the photo, but I have a suggestion.” 
 “What suggestion?”
 “I think you should take a photo with the both of us; that’d be good for a revenge scheme, right?” 
 Choking on thin air, you recover swiftly, blinking multiple times. “Wait, you’d both agree to take a photo with me to get back at my ex?” 
 “Sure,” Tattoos casually shrugs with his arms crossed, carefully looking down at you—these men are huge. “You said back and forth which sounds like your ex is being vengeful, too. Maybe a photo with the both of us would get them to back off? Not to mention, you’re super cute.” 
 You stand stunned for a good minute, wondering how on Earth you’re even here right now. Tattoos’ complement has you twirling your hair, cheeks warm with giddiness. You considered rejection, humiliation, hell, even a scenario where you slip and die, never did you think they’d not only agree, but offer the both of them. 
 “Thank you, and you’re right, a photo with the both of you would be a slap in the face.” 
 “For sure,” Dragon eyes assures you. “How do you wanna take the photo, by the way? Selfie style?” 
 You contort your lips in thought, tapping the bottom one in contemplation. “Hmm, I’m actually not sure what’s best.” You trail. “Do you guys have any suggestions? What kinda photo would make a man’s blood boil?” 
 Both delicious beasts get to thinking, tattoos leaning on the desk as his gears shift while dragon eyes flexes his jaw—you’re seconds from melting in your spot. 
 “Well, I don’t think a selfie would cut it.” Tattoos eventually says. “A selfie looks too friendly, and you want revenge, right?” 
 “You’re right, we need something not exactly ‘friendly’. Why don’t we try a mirror selfie?” 
 You’re intrigued by dragon eyes’ thinking. A mirror selfie would be perfect considering it shows off everyone in the photo, and that’s exactly what you needed—Jack being rageful over you sandwiched between two strong, sexy men. 
 You adore this idea. 
 “You know what? If you’re both willing, that sounds great.” 
 “Of course, we’re down. Why don’t we take the photo over there?” Tattoos ticks his head in the direction of the gym mirrors, lining the wall from ceiling to floor. With a nod of your head, the gorgeous pair smiles politely as you return the gesture, allowing them time to abandon their work and accompany you. 
 By the time you’re in front of the mirror, you can hear how fast your heart is racing, brimming with excitement, but plastering on a facade of calm. “Alright, so a mirror selfie, how do we wanna do this?” 
 When you turn to address the beefy men, tattoos tongues his cheek. “Well, you did say this is for revenge, so you want to make him jealous, right?” 
 Cheeks warming, you confirm. “Yes, I need a photo that would make him jealous.” 
 “We should look close in the photo, then.” Dragon eyes suggests. “Are you okay with us touching you?” 
 Now, you feel as though lava has seeped into your face. Never has a man actually asked your permission to touch you. Your breath silently hitches, but your small stutter gives you away. “Y-yeah, you guys can touch me.” 
 “Damn, you’re willing to trust complete strangers just to get back at your man? What did this guy do?” Tattoos incredulously asks.
 “Please; he’s not my man, he’s my ex for a reason.” You snort. “And maybe I’ll tell you everything after you take the photo, kind sir?” You innocently flash him a pout, your hands replicating a flower pose.
 Dragon eyes heartily laughs. “Cute and funny, I like her.” 
 Tattoos chimes in. “And she works out, too. Her ex is missing out.”
 Biting back a smile, you clear your throat, accessing your camera on your phone. “Well, I’m gonna stand in the middle, and you guys can touch me however you choose.” You immediately feel like slapping yourself for handing them that kind of permission. You turn around, refuting your words with a narrow-eyed look. “But if either of you get too comfortable, I’ll hand your asses to you—my dad’s a cop.” 
 You watch their eyes widen with shock, tattoos bringing his hands up in surrender. “You got it.” 
 “We’re not sleazy, I promise.” Dragon eyes eases you.
 “Cool,” you nod, whirling around again to face the mirror, and positioning your phone in front of your face. “I’ll take the photo when you guys are in position.” 
 Unsuspecting, you slightly pose for your photo, your weight on leg as you tilt your head, ready for the boys to allocate themselves—you’re left speechless when they do. 
 Tattoos temptingly slides his hands around your torso, his veiny hands resting comfortably on your back and stomach. His touch makes you feel fiery hot, igniting an insatiable flame inside you. You’re not sure how long someone needs to be touch deprived to feel this way, but you feel idiotic when his lips suddenly caress your cheek, dampening your panties. 
 Dragon eyes only worsens your strife. He cleverly places his hand over your midriff, just above his friend’s hand, his other softly casting your hair away from your face. His lips press against the crown of your head, conveniently hiding his face.
 The squeal you want to let out is animalistic; when these two suggested a ‘close’ photo to make Jack jealous, you didn’t think they meant being all over you. Your pussy inadvertently clenches, toes curling as your mind screams vile thoughts you shouldn’t speak aloud. 
 You quickly snap your photos, changing angles and such for a variety of shots. But with every snap of a photo, the two strangers slightly change their pose or glide their hands over you. Your skin heats up, seconds from becoming a babbling, pathetic mess. You clear your throat (and your mind) and hastily lower the camera. 
 Tattoos releases you and dragon eyes steps back, both men smiley and eager.
  “Did it look good?” Tattoos asks. 
 “Y-yeah, it looked really good.” You answer, quaking in their oh-so-gorgeous presence. 
 “Can we take a look?” 
 You nod at dragon eyes as you step closer and showcase the photo, tattoos whistling. “Damn, that’d totally make a guy jealous.” 
 “Yeah, this is the best ‘fuck you’ I can think of.” Dragon eyes agrees, high-fiving tattoos. 
 “Thank you guys for doing this,” you speak sincerely. “I must’ve wasted your time.” 
 “Hey, you didn’t waste our time at all. You’re good.” Dragon eyes soothes your worry. 
 “He’s right,” tattoos piggy backs, “just hope your ex backs off.”
 You smile kindly at them, holding your phone to your chest. “Well, thank you again. See you guys around.” You immediately turn on your heel to vacate the area, needing to sprint away as far as possible in order to goddamn breathe—you’re not granted the chance when tattoos calls out. 
 “Hey, wait a minute!” 
 Pausing, you slowly face them. “Yes?” 
 “You know, you should get our numbers just in case. What if you need our services again?” 
 Nearly coughing like a cat with a hairball, you compose yourself. “Your numbers?” 
 “Yup. Unless you think our business wasn’t good enough, were the photos that bad?” Dragon eyes clicks his tongue and shakes his head, feigning disappointment. 
 “No, not at all! I just… wow, I didn’t expect you guys to be completely okay with that and let me come to you again.”  
 “Of course, it’s the ex that’s the problem, not you.” Tattoos waves off, leaning against an exercise machine nearby. “You didn’t tell us what guy did, by the way, now that we’ve taken the photo.” 
 You’re ready to give the man a straight answer, until your confidence decides to take over. You lightly nibble on your lip, eyes hazing over with temptation. “How’s about I tell you two next time?” 
 “There’s gonna be a next time?” Dragon eyes queries, his irises a playful shade. 
 “Of course, since you two want my number and all. It’s for a next time, isn’t it?” 
 Both men let out light chuckles and pretty smiles, clearly entertained by you. 
 “Yup, cute and funny.” Tattoos repeats. 
 “And crafty.” Dragons eyes revists his previous words. “Hand us your phone, cutie.”
 Suppressing the warmth in your cheeks, you open your contacts and hand over the device, watching them add their numbers. You can’t help but feel the bottom of your stomach blazing with electricity, causing your sex to pulse and your thighs to squish together. How could they look so effortlessly sexy while simply typing on your phone? 
 You’re so distracted by drooling over them, you barely notice when tattoos hands over your phone. “I’m Jungkook, by the way.” 
 “I’m Namjoon.” The other declares. 
 “Nice to meet you, Jungkook and Namjoon. I’m Y/N.” You smile widely, sending both of their numbers a text so they can add your contact. You tuck your foot behind the other then, mesmerized by their beauty. “Your services were highly appreciated today.” 
 “As was your presence.” Jungkook adds a wink that pierces your chest, abating your smile by tonguing your cheek. 
 “Hope your ex seriously backs off after this, Y/N.” Namjoon politely wishes. “Get home safe.” 
 “Thank you, guys. Take care as well” You bid the beautiful pair a farewell with a wave, quickly stepping towards the gym doors so they couldn’t hear the squeal that leaves your mouth. 
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“See, I told you it would work.” 
 “Shut the fuck up, Hobi.” 
 You file down your nails, rolling your eyes at Hobi’s ‘told you so’ moment. He kisses his teeth through the screen, laying down in this bed on the FaceTime screen. 
 “I most certainly will not; told you all you had to was talk to some guys. That story post was genius! One of your brightest moments indeed.”
 “I’ve had smarter moments.” 
 Sending him a narrow-eyed look, you return to filing. “Did the post really look that good?” 
 Hobi blows a raspberry. “Y/N, I had people asking me who the guys were. Which good job, they looked hella hot. Are they athletes? I’ve never seen em’ around here.”
 “Don’t know, actually. We never got to talking about each other.” You reflect on that, now regretting it. “I’ll just ask them next time, I guess.” 
 “Hello? Next time?” Hobi queries. 
 Your lips shyly purse together then, evilly giggling. “What? I totally didn’t say next time.” 
 “Yes you did, bitch. Now spill!” 
 “Ugh, fine.” You acquiesce, setting down your filer to discuss things seriously. “They made this comment where if I need their ‘services’ again, I should get their numbers.” 
 “Holy shit, so you got their numbers?” 
 “Yeah.” You attempt to say that without a proud smile, biting it back. 
 “Y/N, I can see how badly you wanna squeal. Just let it the fuck out and stop trying to be one of those ‘different’ bitches.” 
 “Hobi!” You tut him, but ultimately let a wide smile paint your face. “Okay, I honestly have no clue how I accomplished that, but they didn’t mind me contacting them again to make Jack jealous.” 
 “For real?” 
 “Yes, for real. They were super sweet but so sexy, too. I think I’m in love, Hobi.” 
 “Valid, they were drop dead gorgeous.” He comments, pausing his video to most likely type someone a message. “You better let me meet them one day. Did you text them after you got their numbers?” 
 “Actually—“ Right when you’re going to respond to Hobi, your phone vibrates with a message. Curious, you peek at the message, words jumbles in your throat—it’s Jungkook.
 The preview of his message  makes you especially giddy. 
 Jeon Jungkook: hey, it’s jungkook from the gym :) 
 Jeon Jungkook: did you get home safe?
 “Y/N, what were you saying? Why are you so quiet?” 
 “Holy shit…” You marvel with shock, excitedly bouncing your feet on the floor. How on God’s Earth were you receiving a messahe from him first? And such a sweet one at that? “Hobi, you won’t believe this—“
 Right then, another text appears at the top of your phone, revealing another contact. 
 Kim Namjoon: hey Y/N, it’s namjoon from earlier today. were you able to get home safely? 
 With widened eyes, you malfunction, chuckling to yourself. “Wow, now I’m genuinely shocked.” 
 “What, Y/N?” 
 “Both Namjoon and Jungkook just texted me, they asked if I got home safely.” 
 “No fucking way, what are you doing talking to me? Go text them back! And tell me all about it later.”
 “Okay, okay!” You laugh as you quickly wave to Hobi, ending the FaceTime call to open their messages. At first, you want to reply to them separately, but decide on something different, grinning like an idiot. 
 10:43 PM: hi guys, I got home safe, thank you for asking :) 
 Jeon Jungkook: damn, a group chat? looks like we’re officially partners in crime 
 Kim Namjoon: damn straight 
 Kim Namjoon: has anything happened with your ex, Y/N? 
 10:46 PM: nothing yet, but I don’t expect nothing. he always retaliates
 Jeon Jungkook: what an asshole, good thing you have our services 
 Jeon Jungkook: we’re happy to provide 
 Kim Namjoon: what he said ^^
 10:50 PM: thank you guys, it really means a lot 
 Jeon Jungkook: no problemm
 Kim Namjoon: are you coming to the gym tomorrow, Y/N? 
 10:51 PM: it’s my off day tomorrow, but I’m coming by the day after 
 Kim Namjoon: nice, we’ll see you then 
 Jeon Jungkook: ^^ 
 Jeon Jungkook: gonna log off for the night, get some good sleep, Y/N
 Kim Namjoon: me too, goodnight Y/N 
 10:53 PM: goodnight, guys 
10:53 PM: I’m definitely gonna sleep easier tonight knowing i have your services >_<
 Jeon Jungkook: we’re glad :)
 Kim Namjoon: we’re here if you ever need a hand again :)
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2:34 PM: shit, you’re not coming Joon? 
 joon: I can’t, I can’t believe I forgot about this assignment 
 koo: rip broski
 2:35 PM: awh man, well good luck with your assignment, I hope you do well! 
 joon: thanks, y/n :)
 2:35 PM: npp, so only you’ll be at the gym, right Jungkook? 
 koo: yes ma’am, come by whenever 
 2:36 PM: I’m coming by now 
 The next week of knowing Jungkook and Namjoon had brought unprecedented excitement to your life, and for once, not thinking about that asshole Jack. 
 Who knew asking a couple of strangers to take a photo with you could lead to genuine friendship? Not only did your energies match, but even your interests, too. It wasn’t long before your groupchat was filled with either senseless humour, Mark Wahlberg memes or discussing the intricate rankings of all Gotei 13 squad captains from Bleach. To say your synergy was enjoyable was an understatement, it was goddamn immaculate.  
  It felt good to surround yourself with good, ambitious men who regarded you with such respect. Jungkook and Namjoon were both physiotherapy majors aiming to eventually open their own clinic. The two best friends met back in middle school, and even with a year separating them in age, they’d grown incredibly close to one another. 
 They were both witty, smart, caring and supportive. It shocked you to earn such kind texts from them and meet them at the gym nearly everyday; it allowed you to forget all about Jack and his toxicity. 
 Waltzing into the campus gym now, your eyes meet Jungkook’s upon your entrance, who lights up with a spellbinding smile—he’s so devastatingly gorgeous. 
 “Y/N! Hey, glad you could make it.” He greets you, holding out his fist for you to bump over the desk. You meet him in the middle and break away with the sound of an explosion. 
 “Back at you, Jeon. I just feel bad for Joon, I hope he can finish his assignment tonight.” 
 “Ah, don’t worry. Joon’s the smartest person I know, he can definitely finish it and still get an A.” Jungkook asserts with a shrug, next motioning towards the gym equipment. “Remind me again, you said you needed help with lifting the other day, right?” 
 Following his hand gesture, a light bulb pops up above your head. “Oh, yeah. I’m having a really hard time getting into it. I’m not sure about the right position and always end up hurting myself.” 
 “Damn, how bad you gotta be to be hurting yourself?” 
 You roll your eyes before punching Jungkook’s bicep over the counter—you hate to admit how rock solid it felt. Jungkook acts as though you made a real impact, giggling beautifully. “I was kidding, cutie. Let me help you out.” 
 “And who says I want your help now?” You promiscuously eye him, hands snug on your hips. 
 Jungkook lets out a cute chuckle before abandoning the front desk, rounding it to clasp his deft hands over your shoulders. He lowers himself to your height, so close you could see the little mole underneath his pretty, pink set of lips—you suck in a breath. 
 “I did, Y/N. Now let’s get you over there and stretch you out first, hm?” 
 His words leave you speechless, a surge of arousal blooming inside you. Nodding, Jungkook flashes you a coy grin observing your reaction and walks towards the weightlifting area, following him closely. You remove your sweater as Jungkook chooses how much you should lift, analyzing your figure and computing your strength. 
 He even suggests specific stretches for you, nearly crumbling into a horny pile of mush when he hovers so closely around you, eyes glued to your body. He’s clearly watching you simply for the accuracy of your stretches, but surely this is affecting him, too? You couldn’t help but imagine your body bent in all sorts of ways for him…
 Your mind is yanked out of the gutter when Jungkook advises you to stand in position for the lifting, situating yourself behind the bar.
 “Don’t you have to be managing the front?” You query, wondering if he can spend this time with you. 
 “Eh, Oliver’s there. Told him to keep an eye out.” 
 Accepting that, you clear your throat, eyes settling on Jungkook. He was so effortlessly scorching hot, it was painful. You watched as he suddenly exhaled in complaint, fanning himself with his shirt. 
 “Damn, it’s hot in here.” He grumbles, subsequently snatching the back of his hoodie and slipping it off in one swift motion. It causes his shirt underneath to ride up on his body, and you nearly choke—a peek of his delicious abs leaves you squishing your thighs together, mesmerized. 
 Jungkook tosses away his hoodie, revealing himself in a muscle-tee, which does not bode well for you—you earn a clear view of his detailed tattoo sleeve. The dark ink with splashes of colour weaving down his muscular arm leaves drool pooling in your mouth, so distracted by raw lust you’re only reminded of the situation at hand when he speaks. 
 “So you said it’s your position, right?” 
 “Y-yeah. I don’t really lift a lot but I know it’s good for muscle, and I wanna add it to my program.” You steadily answer, despite your lady bits quivering in his presence. 
 “Makes sense.” He contended, his jaw sexily flexing as he thought. “Show me the position you get in for the lift.” 
 Erasing the raunchy ideas that come to you at his words, you compose yourself, and mimic the exact position, clasping your hands over the bar and squatting. Your cheeks burn once you consider your ass is accentuated as fuck right now, but you take a breath, eyes darting up at him in anticipation—Jungkook clicks his tongue. “Ah, I see what’s wrong.” 
 Bending down before you, Jungkook reaches out his hands around your body, but hovers, pausing. “Is it okay if I touch you?” 
 Fighting back the heat rushing to your face, you nod. “You know I already gave you permission once, Jungkook.” 
 “Doesn’t mean I should assume it’s continuous, though.” He cleverly remarks, a small, kind curve to his lips. “I like asking.” 
 Touched by his consideration, you melt, irises shimmering with gratitude. “I trust you, Jungkook. You can touch me.” 
 His pretty pinks lips form a grin, settling a warm hand on your back as the other presses to your midriff. You’re thrilled for about 3 seconds before you realize what a mistake giving him permission to touch you was.  You didn’t remember you’re only wearing a sports bra underneath your sweater, Jungkook’s veiny, sexy hands now touching your bare skin. 
 Your breath hitches, pussy trapped in a cage of torture once Jungkook gets to feeling your stomach, determining the root of your problem. You could care less about the work out now—his hands all over your body are lighting your blood on fire. 
 “You’re putting all your power in your arms and shoulders when lifting comes from the legs and core, Y/N.” He calmly advises, shaking in your boots once his cologne wafts in your direction—you’re sincerely a goner. 
 He nestles his palm right at the center of your torso, his large hand hot against you. “You need to pull from here, focus your power in the center and in your legs.” 
 You shudder when Jungkook suddenly skims his fingers over your thighs to check your muscle, causing you to stupidly swallow. Heeding his request, you perform the lift ss he instructed. Jungkook monitors your movement with his hands still snug around you, making this incredibly fucking difficult. 
 “Okay, that’s better. But you're still stiff with your posture, Y/N. Arch your back a little more for me.” 
 Jungkook’s voice is so bewitchingly seductive, you nearly let out a sigh. How could he sound so incredibly hot and yet extremely sweet while saying such a thing? You’re left winded when he presses his palm into your back, perfecting your posture. The other rests right underneath your left breast, praying to God this sports bra hides how rock-solid your nipples are. 
 “There; try now.” 
 Clearing your throat (and fucking mind), you attempt the lift again. You groan a little when the exercise pierces your torso and quad muscles, letting the bar fall back down. Judging by Jungkook’s happy grin, you performed it correctly. 
 “Hey, you just did it.” 
 “With your help. Oh my god, thank you!” 
 “No need to thank me, just remember to maintain that position so you don’t hurt yourself anymore.” Jungkook advises, rounding the bar to get behind you. Unexpectedly, his hands curl around your sides, ensnaring your waist in his firm digits. “Let me make sure you keep the same position.” 
 Swallowing, you nearly lose all brain circuitry when Jungkook’s face settles above your shoulder, seemingly watching over your position. His heat feels captivating, so utterly magical you nearly enter a trance-like state. Your ass is mere inches from his crotch behind you, underwear dampening by the second. 
 You stupidly lean back into him, but Jungkook’s hard hands stop you. 
 “The position, Y/N.” 
 His husky voice by your ear submits you. You sedate the arousal brewing inside you and perform the lift again. You focus on that singular task for the rest of the set Jungkook instructs you to complete, drowning in all his sweet sexiness. You power through his makeshift program flawlessly—celebration overcomes your body.
 “Oh my God!”
 “Shit, Y/N, you’re such a fast learner.” 
 “Guilty.” You send him a kittenish grin, turning in his direction, but immediately regretting it. He’s close, too close. Close enough that his breath fans your own tempted lips, gazing into his doe eyes. He watches you carefully, like something carnal looms within the depths of his look. You habitually nibble your lip out of nerves, and Jungkook’s hands on your waist momentarily clench, causing you to squeak. 
 It’s a wake-up call, both of you blinking multiple times—Jungkook’s hands withdraw. “Sorry.” 
 “I-it’s okay.” You stumble, feeling dazed. Jungkook regains his full height as you turn away from him, face hotter than the sun. You feel lucky when your Apple watch buzzes with a text, opening the message. Your co-worker’s sent a reminder to your group chat about her dinner later tonight. 
 Focused on the message, you’re nearly startled when you receive a call, shocked to see Hobi’s name and photo. Curious, you snag your phone from your bicep strap and accept the call, pressing your phone to your ear. “Hello? Hobi?” 
 “Y/N? Shit, okay, I just escaped my Psych class to call and tell you; don’t look at Jack’s insta story. I know he only posted it for you to see and he’s gonna be checking whether you saw it or not.” 
 Appalled, annoyance floods you. “Are you serious? He posted something in retaliation?” 
 “I think so,” Hobi confirms. “Reed mentioned something to me the other day about calling Jack a pussy for not confronting you about his issues and posting shit behind a screen.” 
 “Damn, and Reed’s the captain of the volleyball team.” You’re coloured impressed by the jocks’ surprising emotional intellect. 
 “Yeah. But I saw the story and I swear, don’t look at it, Y/N.” Hobi warns you. “I know you’re seeing his sister for her dinner tonight, and I have a feeling he’s gonna show. Knowing him, he posted the story for his own sake and will probably show up at the dinner to spite you because of what Reed said.” 
 Now you’re utterly disgusted, exhausted with the amount of pettiness this man owns. “Ew, what the fuck? He’s so annoying.” You whine, grinding your teeth. “Can you send me a screenshot of the story or something? I still wanna see it without it saying I saw it.” 
 “I didn’t look at the story, either, only through Jasmine’s phone because she showed me. I don’t want him thinking you know about it through me.” Hobi explains. “Is there someone else’s phone you can look at it through?” 
 Remembering where you are, you swivel towards Jungkook, finding him with a confused, yet, concerned expression on his face. Your gears immediately start turning, rambling into your phone. “Thank you for telling me, Hobi. I’ll think of something, but get back to class. I love you.” 
 “No problem, I love you too.” 
 Ending the call, you don’t waste a single moment. “Jungkook, is it okay if I borrow your phone?” 
 His bottom lip adorably protrudes in question. “Sure, but what happened?” 
 “I’ll tell you in a second, but I need your Instagram.” 
 Complying, Jungkook fishes his phone out of his shorts’ pocket and unlocks it, accessing Instagram. You receive his phone and rapidly get to searching for Jack’s account, typing silently. Jungkook seats himself next to you, almost swooning when his delicious, masculine scent penetrates your nostrils. 
 “What’s happening, Y/N, is everything okay?” He queries, resting a hand against your back—you’re close to fainting. 
 “No, it isn’t.” You grit, half distracted by Jungkook’s hand, half irritation overwhelming you. Once you’ve typed Jack’s handle, you click on his story—air leaves your system. 
 He’s uploaded a photo of himself with a girl, no tag. She’s tucked into his neck and laughing as they lay together somewhere—intimately. Only Jack’s lips and neck are captured, the girl’s cheek and hair. A wave of disappointment floods you, knowing he wouldn’t have posted something like this at all—he was always such a private person. 
 This could only mean he’s showing off, and he would only do such a thing to target you—his caption said it all. 
 ‘Halloween vibes, watching Nightmare Before Christmas’ 
 You scoff under your breath; Halloween is your favourite holiday, and he knows The Nightmare Before Christmas is your favourite halloween movie. Enough time passes in angry silence that Jungkook becomes concerned, lightly rubbing your back. 
 “Is this the asshole ex, Y/N?” 
 Disconcerted, you simply nod. Jungkook kisses his teeth. “What the fuck, is this really meant to be something against you?” 
 “Yeah,” you mull. “He knows Halloween’s my favourite holiday and the Nightmare Before Christmas is my favourite movie.” 
 Jungkook shakes his head in disappointment. “What a dick, that’s just evil.” 
 You sigh in agreement, too much stress weighing you down. “And you know what Hobi told me? He’s my co-worker’s brother and we’re all having dinner tonight, so he’s got a suspicion he’s gonna show up to the dinner too.” 
 “Shit, does he usually come?” 
 “Yeah, I mean, we’re all close in age and kind of bring anyone. I’m bringing Hobi tonight, but I didn’t think I’d have to be extra careful with Jack possibly being there now.” You sulk, head dipping as you hand Jungkook his phone back. He sighs in sympathy, slowly stroking your back before playfully ruffling your hair. 
 “Hey, don’t be so upset. You just gotta show him up, right? Act like you didn’t even see the story.” He suggests, and you chew on the words. You acknowledge it’s great advice, but you desire something more. 
 “I don’t know, Jungkook. I don’t wanna just show him up, I wanna go tonight and do something that’s a big fuck you, you know?” 
 Jungkook supportively nods. “Yeah, I totally get that. But do you have anything in mind? What are you thinking of doing as a fuck you?” 
 You sort through the turmoil in your head as your mental gears shift, searching, searching and searching, until an idea finally manifests in your head. “Holy shit, I think I have an idea.” 
 “What?” Jungkook eagerly asks, literally on the edge of his seat. 
 “When are you done work?” 
 “In like half an hour, why?” 
 You promiscuously bounce your brows. “You’re coming somewhere with me.” 
 Jungkook pouts in confusion, pointing at his chest. “You need me?” 
 “Yes, very much so. Are you in or not?” 
 Jungkook stutters, winded by your spontaneous behaviour. “I mean, yes? What are we going to do?” 
 “That’s for you to figure out in half an hour.” You declare, rising from your seat and peering down at him. “You’re gonna meet me behind the gym outside.” 
 Absolutely puzzled, Jungkook hesitates to reply, but hops on board once he catches a glimpse of the seriousness in your eyes, agreeing. “Okay, I’ll meet you there.”
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  Paddling around to keep yourself warm, you wait for Jungkook behind the gym as planned. It’s not long before you hear heavy-booted footsteps, watching Jungkook enter your vision with a jog. He spots you and immediately beelines, mentally admiring the Supreme bomber jacket he’s wearing. 
 “Y/N, what’s so serious we needed to meet here? There’s nobody around.” He gestures, only to be met by your scheming grin. 
 “That’s the point.” 
 Jungkook approaches you with furrowed brows, hands snug in his pockets. “What are you planning on doing, Y/N? Are you thinking of taking another photo?” 
 “Not a photo, Jungkook. I told you something more” You swallow, hoping to God this plan will unfold in your favour. 
 “If not a photo, then what?” 
 Inhaling steadily, you similarly exhale, armouring yourself to say this with a straight face. “I want you to leave hickies on my neck.” 
 Jungkook pauses for several moments before he blinks, bewilderment etched into his features. “What?” 
 “You heard me; the only thing that’s a big enough fuck you but is still subtle, is Jack seeing hickies on my neck tonight. Even better if the girls all end up asking me about it in front of him.” 
 Jungkook absorbs you words, and you expect repulsion, expect some form of disgust or rejection that leaves you standing here like an idiot. But, the gorgeous man instead breathes a sexy laugh. He rests his forearm against the wall near you, perches against it, and carefully leans to level your eyesight. 
 His irises reveal a dark, amused shade, gripping your very soul, and his lips tug into a smug grin. “So let me get this straight; you want me to suck hickies onto your neck right here, right now?” 
 Baffled by the change in his aura, you swallow. “Yes.” 
 He smirks. “You’re really giving me permission to kiss your neck?”
 “Yes, I am. I trust you.” 
 “How do you know you can trust me?” 
 “Because I just do, duh?” You nonchalantly answer, crossing your arms and pouting up at him. “Are you going to do it or not?” 
 Jungkook laughs; the sound is absolutely gorgeous with a hint of arousing. “Is this a take it or leave it deal?” 
 “Yes, if you don’t kiss my neck in the next 15 seconds, then I’m leaving.” 
 “Then how will you make Jack jealous tonight?” 
 Beat, your mouth shuts before you cleverly rebuttal, brewing with indignation. “I’ll just go and ask Namjoon, then. I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem with doing it.” 
 “And how can you be sure?” Jungkook challenges you, closing in on your space—you fight the urge to jump him, he so deliciously towers over you. “He’s doing an assignment right now, I don’t think he has time to spare to kiss you.” 
 “Ugh.” You whine, stamping your foot. “Are you gonna do it or not, Jungkook? You only have to leave one, and it’ll only take a minute, why are you saying no?” 
 The tempting man chuckles, but his slow, dark sigh leaves your panties dampening. How could he sound so sexy even when laughing? “Y/N, you don’t get it. I’m not saying no because I don’t want to do it.” 
 “Then why?!”
 “Because if I’m going to kiss your neck, I’m gonna leave twenty hickies, not just one, and I’m gonna do it for a hell of a lot longer than a minute.” 
 Speechless, you can hear how loud your heart hammers against your ribcage. Did Jungkook really just say that to you? You must be dreaming. “What?” 
 “I said,” he steps closer to you, now invading your personal bubble, only a few inches between you two. He leans down further, ensnaring you with his relentless eyes. “If I’m giving you hickies, I’m covering your neck in them, and I’m not stopping until you can’t take it anymore.” 
 Rattled to your core, you stare at him with wide, doe eyes. You’ve never seen such an alluring side of Jungkook before, and you can practically hear your pussy screaming for him. Deciding against your better judgement, you decrease all space possible, square your shoulders, and look him dead in the eye. 
 “Try me.” 
 Jungkook tongues his cheek to abate a smile, but gives in, far too entertained by you. He props off the wall and cradles your face—your breath is knocked out of you. His hands feel rough but warm, strong. They’re much bigger compared to your face, and you quiver in your boots when he coasts his thumb across your cheek. 
 Jungkook wets his lips, flashing you a lascivious grin before he moves forward, bringing his lips just before yours. He breathes against you, teasing you with the idea of a kiss, before turning to the side and finding your neck.
 Goosebumps freckle your skin as the heat of his breath hits your pulse point, and within a hot second, you’re a goner. Jungkook’s lips press against your throat, and the connection is so incredibly electric, your body tenses, currents crackling throughout your veins. 
 You’re swept off your feet, winded by the power of his pillowy lips, indulging in the slow, sensual way his mouth loves. He merely kisses at first, teasing you, but opens up to devour you, lightly suckling on your skin for the hickies you requested. 
 You sigh when he deepens the kisses, snaking his hand into your hair and grasping your head, tugging it aside to consume you. You shudder with pleasure, letting out a delicate moan that seems to drive Jungkook insane. 
 He pushes you up against the brick wall, looming over you with his incredible body. He completely swaths you, entirely controlling your pleasure as his lips draw sinfully arousing kisses on your neck, hungry and lustful. 
 He didn’t lie earlier, his teeth lightly nip your skin before his tongue smooths the ache, and moves onto another part of your neck, ravaging it. You wriggle underneath him, exhilarated by his body pinning yours into the wall, his hips pressing into yours—you don’t want him to stop. 
 “Jungkook…” You moan—he huskily groans in response. 
 He grips you harder, kissing deeper. “That sound,” he grits. “That fucking sound.” 
 The harshness of his tone overwhelms you, like he’s angry with himself for being so turned on—his desperate grip gave him away. You clutch Jungkook’s jacket tightly, fidgeting like a pathetic slut as you pleasurably whimper underneath him. Your hips desire more, rutting against him to feel the imprint of his cock, and god, does it shoot arousal through your core.
 He draws back, but only for a second. He scans every feature upon your face, huffing and puffing. You pant, too, wildly turned on. 
 You exchange no words, simply gazing at each other. His eyes tell you enough, though; he wants your permission whether to continue or not. You answer him by nibbling your bottom lip, tilting your head and revealing your neck, sliding your hands into his lucious hair. 
 Jungkook beautifully smirks before diving in again, a hand of his curling around your waist and the other buries into your hair to tightly hold you, kissing maddeningly. 
 You’re lost in the pleasure, moaning erotically as he rolls his body against yours, your veins burning brightly. Your head spins, your sex aches, and your blood sings with unfathomable euphoria. 
 So dazed by him, your nails scratch down his neck, moaning like a pornstar. Jungkook rips himself away from your neck with a growl, fiercely aiming for your lips but stopping just short of a kiss. 
 He seems uncaged, breathing hard against your lips. You shudder pathetically for him, switching between his alluring eyes and swollen lips. He leans in to connect your mouths, carnal eyes set on your tempting mouth, but a voice suddenly interrupts you both.
 “Yo, Jungkook, why’d you want me to meet you—woah.“ 
 Namjoon pauses once his eyes catch your faces mere centimeters from each other. Jungkook pulls away within seconds as you lightly gasp, hand covering your mouth in shock. 
 “Shit, Namjoon, hey.” Jungkook nonchalantly greets him, slowly releasing you. 
 “Hey, man.” Namjoon replies, eyebrows slightly furrowed. “What’s up? Why did you guys need me?” 
 How are they both being so casually about this? You were just caught almost kissing Jungkook, and you’re seconds from digging yourself to the center of the fucking Earth. 
 Utterly embarrassed, you muster the courage to greet him. “Hey, Joon.” You coo, cheeks warm not only from Jungkook’s sensual attacks, but mortification. “Sorry about—“ 
 “No worries,” he waves off, tensing his jaw as he peers elsewhere, refocusing again. “But what happened? Jungkook told me your ex was an ass again.” 
 Winded by his rerouting, you smile at Jungkook nonetheless. You’re grateful he saved you from having to detail everything to Namjoon—this was already mentally draining. 
 “Yeah, he retaliated with some bullshit and I needed help.” 
 “What’d he do?” 
 “Posted some shady shit that was clearly an attack on Y/N; he was with another girl.” Jungkook details, peeking back at you. He reaches out to brush some wisps of your hair behind your ear, which seemed like a mindless habit to him, but your cheeks nearly melt off. You feel fuzzies invade your chest, the action incredibly affectionate. “Apparently she’ll be seeing Jack tonight at a co-workers’ dinner.” 
 “Ew,” Namjoon cringes. “you’ll have to see him tonight?” 
 “I’m not 100% sure, but considering his story last night, he’s ready to rub it in my face especially when my co-worker always brings him; he’s her brother.” You complain, sighing. 
 “Damn, do you know what you’re gonna do?” Namjoon approaches you two, his eyes revealing concern. “Are you going?” 
 “Of course, I can’t abandon my friend because of that dickhead.” You bitterly regard him, grumpily folding your arms before motioning towards what you assumed were now hickies blossoming on your neck. “I asked Jungkook to give me hickies so it could make Jack jealous.” 
 Namjoon’s expression reflects one of realization, his mouth agape with a knowing ‘o’. It isn’t long before a promiscuous grin frames his lips, however. “Ah, I’m sure Jungkook enjoyed that.” 
 Heart racing, you watch as Jungkook suddenly exhales, detecting a hint of nervousness, but he grins anyway. “More than I should’ve.” 
 You swallow dryly, detecting another layer to their conversation. They exchange glances that certainly hold coded language, and Namjoon’s shit-eating grin gives it all away. 
 Consumed by your storming mind, you interject. “Listen, guys. Maybe the hickies will work, but this story thing is getting annoying—it’s public now. I didn’t think he’d turn it into some sort of war, and now I’m itching to deploy my troops to show everyone I’m not taking this sitting down.”
 “You’re right,” Namjoon contemplates, his index finger resting over his full, tempting lips. His jaw thoughtfully flexes, and he’s leaving another mess in your panties—he looks so incredibly sexy when he thinks. “I think we need a revenge snap, which you could’ve taken today. May I ask why you settled on hickies?” 
 Thrown off by the question, you defend yourself. “Rome wasn’t built in a day; I wanna have enough strategic attacks that make his blood boil the way I want it to.” 
 “Fair point,” he contends. “It probably would’ve been annoying seeing him tonight, too.” 
 You brightly smile. “Exactly.” 
 “Why don’t we have Y/N post something on her story a bit like his?” Jungkook suggests, toying with the thin silver chain hanging around his neck—it’s so easy to drool over him. “She could come over to our dorm and post something; it’d be so telling if she did that.” 
 Both you and Namjoon shoot Jungkook an impressed look.
 “Nice idea, JK.” Namjoon commends. 
 “Yeah, you’re right.” You assure him. “Him and I actually used to do study dates all the time. If I come over to study and post something, he’ll get super pissed. People will also let their imagination run wild about us, especially Jack.” 
 “Exactly, you’re not responsible for what he assumes, either. Knowing him and his boy energy, he’ll assume the worst, but other people will just think he’s insane or obsessed with you.” Namjoon cleverly pieces that together, leaving a fat smile on your face. 
 “That is fucking genius, guys. We should definitely do this.” 
 “Of course, though, let’s give it some time so he doesn’t think you’re retaliating because you’re hurt. It’ll seem more natural if you post later.” Jungkook suggests. 
 “Yes, why don’t we plan something next week?” 
 “I’m down.” Namjoon agrees, leaning against the building. 
 “Me too,” Jungkook adds, affectionately cradling your shoulder. “Now get home and get ready for tonight, Y/N. And only cover some of your hickies, not all of them.” He winks, deviously tonguing the inside of his cheek. 
 “Jesus, Jungkook.” Namjoon quietly exclaims as he examines your neck. “Did you really have to kiss her that much? Looks like her neck took a beating.” 
 “A beating of my great kisses, sure.” 
 You roll your eyes as the boys bicker, running your fingers over the tender skin Jungkook nipped. “Thank you, guys. I’ll head home and let you know what happens at the dinner.” 
 “Do you want us to come? Could look like a power move.” Namjoon asks. 
 “Nah, I’d rather face him myself. Besides, Hobi’s coming, so I know I’ll have fun.” 
 “Nice, say hi to Hobi for us, then?” Jungkook beautifully smiles. 
 “Indeed, my knights in shining armour. I must part now.” You eloquently bid them a farewell with a curtsy, Namjoon and Jungkook respectfully bowing in response.
 “Until next time, my lady.” Namjoon plays along. 
 “Send a pigeon upon your safe arrival home, ma’am.” Jungkook comedically adds on, and you ceaselessly giggle as you wave them a temporary goodbye. 
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  You inhale a deep breath knocking on Namjoon and Jungkook’s dorm room, unattractively biting the inside of your cheek. You tightly cling to your laptop bag, uselessly observing the small cracks in the paint of their front door. 
 “Coming!” You hear Namjoon shout from inside, along with a TV coming to a pause and someone rising from a couch. Your eyes brighten when the door swings open and Namjoon emerges, his dimply smile gutting you. 
 “Hey, Y/N.” 
 “Hey, Joon, sorry if I’m interrupting.” You apologize. 
 “Never, come inside, cutie.” He coos, his eyes revealing an elusive sense of desire. They light a fire inside you, clearing your throat once you stand in the middle of their dorm, observing it. Their two beds were on either side of the room—most likely Jungkook’s littered with comic books, magazines, games and DVDs. You spot a corkboard of polaroids and photos above his small desk, a camera perched by the very corner. Did he perhaps do photography as a hobby? 
 On the other side, you find Namjoon’s neat, tidy bed. All you noticed were the rows of books decorating his shelves, various titles, bindings and authors gracing your eyesight. He also seemed to keep small house plants, hung an intricate painting on his wall, and you spotted several scattered brochures for museums on his desk. 
 You’re shocked, their respective sides screaming their personalities to you—it’s a warm observation. The common area of the room housed a TV, PS5, and gym equipment lying around. 
 You also hated to admit that the room smelled powerfully of cologne and hormone-inducing musk, leaving your head swooning. It’s only Namjoon’s hand gripping your shoulder that sucks you back into the real world. 
 “Hey, Y/N, you alright?” He queries, eyeing you carefully. “You’re so quiet.” 
 “Sorry,” you clumsily reply. “I was just looking at how different your sides of the room are.” 
 “Ah,” he beautifully grins. “Yeah, we’re quite different in our personal interests, but we actually like that about each other the most. Jungkook always introduces me to creative things and I always introduce him to new forms of art and stuff.” 
 “That’s sweet.” You purr, curving your lips. 
 “Thanks.” His dragon eyes crease to reveal a genuine smile. “By the way, has Jack done anything else since your dinner the last time? Did he see Jungkook’s hickeys?” 
 “Fuck yeah he did, and he couldn’t do a goddamn thing about it.” You proudly recall. “He hasn’t countered yet. I’m a bit surprised considering he was so assholey at the dinner, but he’s a calculative mofo.”. 
 “Well, we’ll be there for you if he does anything.” Namjoon sends you a supportive grin. “So, study date, right? What could a PT major and a Child Youth Care major like yourself possibly study together?” 
 His sarcastic tone invites you to laugh, giggling. “Are you confirming we’re on a date right now?” 
 “Perhaps,” he bounces his brows. “Do you mean to suggest we can never go on a date?” 
 “No,” you shyly respond. “But without the studying, this isn’t exactly a study date, now is it?” 
 Namjoon chuckles at your words. “Nope, but this is a ‘make Y/N’s crappy ex jealous by pretending to study together’ date, actually. So, still a study date.” 
 Impressed by his quippy mouth, you let him win, charmed by his triumphant grin. He advises you to take a seat on his bed and set up your belongings to begin studying. Namjoon, however, launches his laptop and lays out his textbook on his coffee table, eventually reclining on the sofa far away from you—you furrow your brows in question. 
 “Why don’t you study at your desk?” 
 “It’s too small.” He replies, eyes busy on his laptop screen. “As you can see, I’m a little oversized for it.” 
 Timidly, you snag the opportunity to truly appreciate Namjoon’s size. He’s silently logging onto his school account, but you’re distracted by his thick shoulders, broad thighs and powerful torso. He indeed has to be fittest man you’ve ever laid eyes on, complemented by his fierce eyes and sweet smile. 
 “Did you accidentally buy it too small?”
 “No, it’s my desk from home, but my mom forgot to consider that I'd grow bigger naturally and by working out.” He replies, his low, smooth voice serenading your ears. “She made it herself, so I never think about replacing it.” 
 “Awh,” you pout. “That’s really sweet of her, and you.” 
 “Guilty.” He grins. 
 Prompted to chuckle, you do, causing Namjoon to lift his eyes and connect with yours, smiling sweetly. To say his gaze is magnetic is an understatement, Namjoon’s gaze is simply… mesmerizing. You find yourself unintentionally comparing it to Jungkook’s. 
 Jungkook’s gaze was always playful and smug, a layer of mischief hidden in its depth. But Namjoon’s, on the other hand, radiated a sense of playfulness, almost unbridled adoration that made you feel like the only girl in the world. One gaze was not better than the other, but their contrast sincerely excited you. 
 What a gorgeous, enthralling pair of friends. 
 “Hmm, why’d you make me sit on your bed?” You question out of curiosity. 
 Namjoon lightly chuckles, breaking out into a side-grin. “Why, getting nervous knowing that you’re sitting on the same bed that I sleep in? Among other things?” 
 Nearly choking, your skin burns up. He’s caught you so off guard you struggle to respond. “Wrong, idiot. I was just wondering why you’re sitting so far away from me.” 
 “Would you prefer if I sat closer?” 
 “Would you prefer if you sat closer?” 
 Impressed, Namjoon’s eyebrow raises, slowly wetting his lips. It seems he lets his intrusive thoughts win, grabbing his textbook and laptop and stalking towards you. You shuffle over to provide him space when he plops down next to you.
 “There, that’s better?” He queries.
 “Yes, now you’re close enough that I can bother you. It’s my super power.” You saccharinely smile. 
 Namjoon breathes a laugh before refocusing on his class’ syllabus, locating his reading for the week. He flips to the required chapter and immediately gets to work, diligently taking notes by your side. You’re astonished by his productivity; Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said Namjoon’s the smartest person he knows. 
 It occurs to you then he did in fact finish that paper due by midnight, and received a steller 85% on it. You commend his intelligence, before it quickly turns into such a sexy part of him. Not only did he have a strong body, but a brilliant mind that called out to your ladybits. 
 You’re wholly captivated by him. 
 “So Joon,” you clear your throat, lazily typing on your laptop. “You’re a year older than Jungkook and I, right?” 
 “Yes, ma’am.” Namjoon confirms. “But sometimes I get the feeling that I’m a lot older. I tend to think and operate more maturely than other people around our age.” 
 His dragon eyes slide in your direction then, and he grabs your full attention. It’s now you realize how close Namjoon is sitting, shoulder to shoulder with you, and you’re hyper aware of how much larger he is. “I can see that, you’re really intelligent and clever, too.” 
 “Thanks. I’m not a fan of the college mentality a lot of guys have. Jungkook is one of the few that I like; he knows how to have fun without compromising basic human decency and treating people like trash.” Namjoon explains, slightly turning his body to speak to you. “If I’m being honest, that’s one of the reasons why your ex kinda pisses me off. He’s the perfect example of guys with that mentality—no offense.” 
 You snort loudly, easing him. “Please, none taken. You’re right, it’s sad how loads of college boys only care about pride and their masculinity, no matter how fragile.” 
 “Exactly, I’m secure as hell when it comes to that crap and I just can’t stand toxic masculinity.” Namjoon regards the topic with a grimace. “Seen too many of my ex-friends fall into that trap.” 
 You’re impressed by Namjoon’s views, fully interested in his mind now. “Wow, you’re one of the very rare men I’ve met that are even aware of that.” 
 “Thanks.” He flashes you a dimply smile, stealing your heart from you. 
 “You know, you should’ve been Jack’s friend.” You complain, a frown framing your lips. “Jack used to be a great guy until his friends just horribly influenced him, all because of the reason we even broke up.” 
 “Hey,” Namjoon reaches out his hand to rest against your knee, a sympathetic look in his eyes. “What’s done has been done, and if Jack were a real man, he wouldn’t have let his friends influence him so much.” 
 Sighing, you share his viewpoint. “You’re right, I just wish things ended differently.” 
 “If I can ask,” Namjoon begins, treading lightly with a careful voice. “What happened between you guys? Did something turn him bitter?” 
 You suppress the urge to snort again, scoffing instead. “Literally Namjoon, nothing huge happened. Nobody cheated or lied or was a shitty replier. We just had little issues that in the end made me realize we’re not as compatible as I thought. What made him bitter, though…” You trail, guiltily pulling your lips back. 
 “What is it?”
 You sigh, pursing your lips. “In my honest opinion, I thought the sex was mediocre. I told him because I’d rather be honest than let him believe he’s amazing at it. Next thing I knew he turned into this raging bull and started dipping his toes into the fuckboy community. He apparently never admits it, but I know from others that he really does it just to spite me.” 
 “Wow,” Namjoon fights off an amused grin. 
 “Don’t tell me you’re laughing at me.” You whine, playfully smacking his shoulder. 
 “Ah!” Namjoon exclaims, cradling his shoulder before he begins snickering. “I’m sorry, I swear I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at him.” 
 “Because that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Namjoon scowls, eyebrows drawn together with slight annoyance. “You told him he’s not that great at sex and now he’s going around spiting you with other girls? The immaturity is astronomical.” 
 “Right?!” You spring up from your seat, seated on your knees diagonal of Namjoon. “It’s not like I went around spreading the information that he’s bad at sex. I told him privately and he took it to heart, and now he’s walking around with a bruised ego.” 
 “That’s horrible.” Namjoon winces, but his features soon smooth over with concern. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with him, Y/N. You really don’t deserve it.” 
 Your tentative eyes fall to his lap, settling your hand over his thigh in appreciation. “Thanks, Joon.” 
 He seems to notice your disheartedness, reaching out to rub your back. “Hey, I hope you know not at all men are like that, I promise. A real one doesn’t take news like that in such a childish way.” 
 “How does a real man take news like that, then?” You ask, genuinely curious. 
 Namjoon tilts his head side to side. “Depends on the man, but if it were me, I would’ve asked why you thought it was mediocre and worked with you to make the sex better. Others probably would’ve given you a simple ‘okay’ and moved on. A real man wouldn’t let it shatter his entire character, unlike some people, clearly.” 
 “Oh.” You absorb his words, reflecting on Jack’s character then. Perhaps you really were giving him too much credit before—your breakup seemed to have amplified traits he already possessed. 
 “Thankfully for me, I don’t have that problem.” 
 You blink, eyes flickering to Namjoon. “What?” 
 He holds your gaze with a smile, seeming to admire your skittishness. “With sex. I don’t have that problem with sex.” 
 Swallowing dryly, your cheeks warm up, skin freckling with need. “R-really?” 
 “Yeah.” Namjoon replies, before his irises darken with desire. “I’m not mediocre at sex.” 
 Winded, you simply stare at him, a joke simmering on your tongue. “Damn, and here I was thinking you’re a virgin.” 
 Namjoon scoffs, laced with a chesty laugh. “I’m far from a virgin, cutie.” 
 That information along with his dazzling smirk single-handedly penetrates your defense mechanisms, panties slightly dampening. You squish your thighs together once you register where you are with Namjoon; in his dorm… alone… talking about sex. 
 “So really, you’re not bad at sex?” 
 “Not at all.” He confidently answers. 
 You narrow your eyes, closing in on him. “How can I take your word for it?” 
 “You have to; I can’t exactly prove it, now can I?” 
 The sinful smirk that pulls at Namjoon’s lips leaves your breath slightly elevating, your body responding to his masculine, alpha-male energy. Your nipples harden, your sex aches and your horomones skyrocket at the constant whiff of him everywhere. 
 Entertained, you decide to challenge him, leaning in closer—you can’t help but notice the way Namjoon sneaks a glance at your lips. “I don’t know, Namjoon, can you?” 
 Wetting his lips, a curve decorates Namjoon’s full lips, clearly appreciating your wit. He watches you carefully, calculatively, studying your proximal face and alluring lips. “Why did you ever get with an asshole like that?” 
 Surprised, you furrow brows. “What?” 
 “Why did you ever date Jack?” Namjoon asks, searching your eyes deeply. “You deserve so much better.” 
 Breath hitching, you’re lost to him now, finding your eyes excavating his mouth. Your yearning for him aches you terribly, vibrating with this sense of arousal that overwhelms your every limb. 
 Inclining closer, your brain rejects sensibility, instead listening to your core desiring this man—you grip his thigh tighter. “Is Jungkook coming back anytime soon?”
 Namjoon’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, slowly casting his laptop away. “No, he’s got boxing.” 
 Biting your lip, you can’t resist him anymore, riveted by the desire to run your hands all over his strong body, feel it powerfully move and cling onto you. You toss away all care, swinging your leg over Namjoon’s perfectly inviting lap. 
 Once you settle over him, you let out a quiet sigh, surprised by your gall. Namjoon observes with shock as well, but it melts away, his hands hovering by your sides. Yours slide over his shoulders, admiring the heat of his golden skin before weaving your fingers into his hair. 
 Namjoon shamelessly switches between your eyes and lips, both calling to him. He attempts to hide his smirk, but it’s contagious, and you grin smugly too before losing all composure. 
 In a split-second, you lunge forward, crashing your lips onto his. An entirely new sensation explodes in your mouth, captivated by how soft Namjoon’s lips are. They’re deliciously plump and pillowy, luring you in. Namjoon softly groans upon your attack, his body relaxing as his gigantic hands form to your figure. 
 He slides them up and down your back as he claims your mouth, reciprocating your kiss as though he’s starving, clutching you tightly for more. He licks your bottom lip to request access, and you delightfully open up, plunging your own tongue into his mouth. 
 When your wet muscles meet, you sigh, melting into him. 
 Licking each other becomes the sole endeavour of your make out, forgetting air is a thing until you need to break away. You fight for oxygen, skin sweltering hot as your eyes connect with Namjoon, who pants as well. 
 He reveals an intriguing shade of lust in his eyes, beckoning you. Your body feels exquisite pressed to his, lady bits tingling as your breasts perk up. He feels stronger than you thought, his body a steel machine but his hands so gentle when they hold you. 
 Your brain is going to short circuit. 
 Overridden by hormones, you dive back in for another heated kiss, eager to press your front into Namjoon’s, until the door of their dorm suddenly clicks open. You curse as the doorway reveals a sweaty, breathless Jungkook— your eyes fly open just like his do, panic overwhelming you.
 “Shit… did I interrupt something?” Jungkook apprehensively asks. 
 You immediately scramble off Namjoon’s lap and stand to your feet, disregarding the sticky mess in your panties. “N-no, Jungkook, sorry.” 
 Namjoon appears unbothered as he retains his seat, only sliding up his knees to drape his arms over them—he clears his throat loudly.  “Thought you were at boxing today.” 
 “I was but Ethan cancelled on me. I’d already trained enough before we had to spar, so I left.” Jungkook informs, shutting the door behind him and using his sweat towel to dry his neck—you feel a surge of new arousal pool in your sex. 
 An intelligent Namjoon with a mouth good for more than just talking, but a sweaty, breathless Jungkook now too? You might as well jump out their window—how could both these men be so intoxicatingly hot? 
 “That sucks, but good you got in your workout.” Namjoon comments, fixing himself to sit cross-legged. “Wanna join our study date? Y/N can post something with all of us together.” 
 “You guys haven’t taken the photo yet?” Jungkook’s lip adorably pout in question. 
 “Nah, not yet.” Namjoon waves off. “Go take a shower and we’ll study. You okay with that, Y/N?” 
 Eyes darting between the beefy friends, you know being in their vicinity after the intimacy you’ve shared with them should be difficult, but that’s only really a you-problem, not theirs, clearly. The magnitude of their nonchalance towards everything strikes you impressed, left standing like a stunned idiot—how are they so cool right now?
 Your issue amplifies when the sexy men both peer at you, patiently waiting for your answer. 
 Squeaking, you laugh off your hornirness. “Of course, that’s okay. Are you guys alright with me staying long enough to get food, too? I’ll buy.” 
 “Fuck yeah, I’m more than okay with that.” Jungkook enthuses. “But who do you think you are? You’re our guest, Y/N, we’d never make you pay.” 
 “Yeah, we may be brutes but we’re gentlemen. We don’t make the lady pay.” Namjoon plays along. 
 Giggling, you accept their request, telling Jungkook to get his ass in the shower before you phone a pizza place. He takes off running, almost entirely undressing himself in front of you before you need to shield your eyes, scolding him through laughs. 
 It isn’t long before he joins you and Namjoon on the bed, all three of you squished together and studying. Your heart hammers the entire time you remain sandwiched between them; Namjoon your back support while Jungkook laid his head in your lap, reading a book for an assignment. 
 The amount that you laugh together can’t even be quantified, either of the boys telling you jokes that make you snort or your face hurt from smiling too wide. 
 “You can’t even lift the same amount that I do, Jungkook.” Namjoon berates. “You need to take the ‘hercules’ out of your snap username.” 
 “Please, you know snap usernames are a sacred thing because everyone made dumb ones when they were in middle school.” Jungkook retorts. “I’m never changing mine; it’s genius.” 
 “Actually, you’re no exception. Your username is as dumb as you.” 
 Jungkook grabs Namjoon’s pillow and immediately whacks him, unfortunately ensuing a chaotic pillow fight you laugh your ass off at. However, laughing is your biggest mistake—their playful eyes suddenly land on you, utterly scheming. 
 “What do you think you’re doing over there, Y/N?” Namjoon narrows his eyes. 
 “Yeah, you’re not spared.” Jungkook declares before taking your hand and dragging you in the middle of them, suddenly engulfed by their gigantic bodies that rumble with laughter and smother you in either affection or tickle attacks.
 You spend the rest of the evening like that, eventually snapping your story post with them that didn’t feel much like pretending anymore, but rather genuine friendship—even if you spent much of your time with a heated core and drenched underwear. 
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 “Shit, where the hell did you learn that combo, Jungkook? I swear you were shit at using anyone that’s not a swordsman.”
 “Shut up; I’m a fast learner and you know it.” 
 “He only learned it cause of me. His weak ass could never handle hand-to-hand combat characters.” 
 You listen to Jungkook and Namjoon bicker over your headset as you release an onslaught of attacks in Super Smash Ultimate, -laser-focused on the game.
 Their incessant arguing lends you the perfect opportunity to obliterate their last lives, eventually crowning you the victor of the brawl—you cheer with elation. “Fuck yes! I told you nobody beats Ike!” 
 The boys whine as you rub your win in their faces, eventually hearing them sigh. 
 “Alright, we get it, Y/N.” Namjoon tames you. “JK and I gotta get going now, we have a shift at the gym.” 
 “Oh, nice, I was thinking of heading there soon.” 
 “Perfect. Meet you there later?” Jungkook asks, and you confirm right away, informing them you plan on running a few errands before heading there. 
 Once the call drops, you search your place for acceptable clothes, touching up your makeup too. Hobi wanted to meet you for coffee to relay the recent tea from the athletic center, and you were happy to listen. 
 Grabbing your purse, you head out, letting Namjoon and Jungkook know you’d be at the gym in about 2 hours. 
 koo: okay gamer, see you then <33
 joon: see you then cutie ;)
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  “Bitch, listen, forget me; I just heard the dumbest shit ever.” 
 Perplexed, you stare at Hobi with furrowed brows as you slowly take your seat at the coffee table he saved. “Well, hello to you too.” 
 “Y/N, I’m serious. Like I’m actually baffled at what I just heard before coming here.” Hobi urges, concern dripping from his usually smiling eyes. 
 “Hobi, woah, what happened?”
 He peers at you with sympathy, and you’re now acutely concerned with what the hell he heard. “Hobi, what’s going on? What did you hear?” 
 Sighing, Hobi’s eyes dart elsewhere, suddenly landing on the menu. “Why don’t you get a coffee first?” 
 “Hobi,” you scold him seriously, glaring at him for an answer.
 He nervously smiles as he holds up the menu, using it to shield himself. “Blonde latte?”
 “Hobi!” You scowl, gripping the menu from him and smacking it on the table. “What did you find out? You know I can’t stand when people keep secrets!
 “Okay!” Hobi surrenders, making a face. Clearly, whatever he knew was something that would either piss you off or make you upset; only one thing could cause either. 
 “Hobi, what did Jack do?” 
 He shoots you an apprehensive look, now used to your keen ability to read people. “It’s shitty, Y/N.” 
 “Spill anyway.”. 
 Exhaling carefully, Hobi straightens his posture, avoiding your eyes as he clears his throat. “So… apparently, Jack’s going around telling everyone that you’re a slut.” 
 Your heart drops, an sharp ache manifesting in the form of a punch. How… how could he say that about you? Spread such false information to skew your reputation? He knows you’re not someone who entertains multiple men at once, which isn’t wrong if you’re single anyway, but the vulgar nature of the term was particularly distasteful. 
 It’s disrespectful on another level, grinding your teeth considering how nice you were with him. You never spoke ill of him in any way that wasn’t regarding his already horrible behaviour, and this is how he acts?
 “Are you serious?” 
 Brewing with indignation, you clench your fists. “What else is he saying?” 
 “Hobi, I don’t need to be babied.” 
 Exhaling despondently, Hobi answers with a pout. “He’s been mentioning you hanging out with Namjoon and Jungkook and using it to spread the rumour that you’re a slut.” 
 You’re not even sure what you feel anymore. Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Revenge didn’t sound good enough anymore, you needed the universe to run its course and shower horrible karma on this motherfucker. To think he could lack such respect for you was frustrating, to think he could tarnish your reputation like that was angering but, most of all, to think he would stoop that low. 
 Whatever did you do to deserve this? 
 Not even realizing tears have pooled in your eyes, you’re startled when Hobi’s melt with sympathy. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, I never should’ve said anything.” 
 Now sensing the moisture, you sniffle and wipe at your lashes, fidgeting with your sleeves. “It’s okay, Hobi, I’d rather you tell me than leave me finding out myself.” 
 Hobi doesn’t buy it, reaching out and grasping your hands. “Listen, he’s an ass, Y/N. People who know you know you’re not like that, and the right people will see through his bullshit.” 
 Appreciating Hobi’s effort, you send him a smile. “Thank you, Hobi. But I just need to clear my head.” You manage to say, fighting the urge to break down. “I’m sorry to cut our date short.” 
 “No worries, Y/N. Just call me if you need anything, alright? And stay safe.” 
 Nodding, you wave a small goodbye to Hobi as you vacate your seat and soon the little coffee shop, practically stomping away once you realize how unfair this all is. 
 It’s not fair that you have to feel this way, not fair that you’ve chosen to be the bigger person, and yet he gets to be the one laughing and smiling while tears stream down your face like a fool.
 With a storming heart, you push aside all sadness and let anger become your driving force, leading you towards the campus gym. 
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  “Hey, Y/N, you came!” 
 “What’s up, cutie?” 
 “Hey guys.” You grumble as you push past both Namjoon and Jungkook, disregarding their smiley greetings. You feel guilty for ignoring them, but you felt embarassed by your red eyes, having succumbed to your emotions on the walk here. 
 They stand confused, attempting to call out to you, but they’re interrupted by other inquiring gym members and frontdesk phone calls. You thank God for the distractions, using it to slip by and engage in the exercise you desperately need… now. 
 Working out appeared to be the only way to exorcize your demons. Pouring your emotions into lifting and running, leg day and core strength—all of it temporarily rid your mind of the bullshit Jack’s spreading; what people are thinking of you, how they’re judging you, drawing baseless misconceptions that paint a false image of you…
 You worked out even harder. 
 In fact, you worked out so vehemently throughout the evening you didn’t even realize the gym was closing. Everything around you had blurred, so laser-focused you actually jumped feeling a tap to your shoulder, prompting you to remove your AirPods. 
 You find two pairs of gorgeous, incredibly concerned brown eyes staring at you. 
 “Earth to Y/N?” Jungkook incredulously waves his hand. 
 “Y/N, are you okay? Did something happen?” Namjoon queries. 
 You suck in a composing breath, leveling your emotions. “I’m fine, guys, just tired.” 
 “Tired?” Namjoon furrows his strong brows. “You just worked out like Wonder Woman your entire session and didn’t even realize we’re closed.” 
 “What’s going on, Y/N?” Jungkook asks worriedly, piercing you with a sympathetic look. 
 A part of you yearns to tell them, desperately pour your heart out until there’s nothing left weighing it down, but you fear you may be judged. You know Namjoon and Jungkook are sweet souls, but the thoughts of others whether loud or silent always plagued your mind, causing unnecessary anxiety. 
 “I promise, guys, it’s nothing.” You emphasize, turning around to claim your phone from the exercise machine—Jungkook’s the one that gently clasps your arm. 
 “Y/N, if you’re not comfortable sharing this with us, we get it, but you can let us know when something’s bothering you; don’t lie and tell us it’s nothing.” 
 Sighing, his words penetrate your defense mechanisms. What are you thinking? You can’t hide this; you feel like you’re holding back an entire dam of emotions right now, and the longer you suffer, the larger your cracks will grow. 
 Your feelings overwhelm you, solemnly staring at the ground before lazily seating yourself on the exercise machine—your eyes become vacant. “Jack’s been telling everyone that I’m a slut.”
 You’re so focused on the patternless floor, you don’t witness the disgust the paints the boys’ faces. 
 “What the fuck?” Namjoon practically spits. 
 “He’s such a dick, that’s fucking crossing a line.” Jungkook grits. 
 “I know, guys, I know. Trust me, I’ve been angry the past few hours myself. But it’s useless, nothing comes out of it.” Hopelessness floods your expression, uselessly running your fingertips over your nails as your voice weakens. “Revenge wasn’t going to do anything. Being the bigger person didn’t, either. He’s just a horrible person, and nothing can help people like that.” 
 You hear a collective sigh from the pair, the magnitude of their disappointment tangible. Both of them settle either side of you as you wallow, Jungkook’s warm hand finding your back as Namjoon’s gigantic one softly casts some hair behind your ear. 
 “I’m impressed by your way of thinking, Y/N.” Namjoon compliments. “It takes a big person to not let anger cloud their judgement when they’ve been wronged.”
 “Well, I don’t care.” Jungkook sharply interjects. “This guy isn’t gonna learn any lessons at all. I should box him in the fucking face.” 
 “Jungkook,” He actually invokes a small chuckle from you, but you rest a hand on his thigh, your teary eyes flickering towards him. “Thank you, but I don’t want you getting in trouble for me.” 
 “Jungkook’s right, you know.” Namjoon kisses his teeth. “I’d love to get that guy in a chokehold, but you’re right too, Y/N. He’ll get what’s coming, and anger is futile.” 
 You nod at Namjoon with a faint smile, sadness still tainting your heart—one thought has been circulating in your mind ever since Hobi uttered the news today. “Do you guys think I’m a slut?” 
 “Y/N.” Namjoon seriously calls you, his eyes dripping with sincerity when his hands curl over yours. “You’re not a slut at all, and he has no right calling you something like that even if you did have many partners. It’s none of his business.” 
 “Joon’s right.” Jungkook piggybacks, rubbing your spine in de-stressing circles. “He’s projecting. He’s the same guy sleeping around just to spite you and probably not even respecting the women he sleeps with. He’s threatened by the idea of you having healthy relationships with men and moving on.” 
 A wide smile spreads across your lips as your eyes water, feeling grateful for their words. Your chest suddenly feels  lighter, your mind storming less—you peer at the men either side of you with softness. “Thank you, guys. Seriously, it means the world.” 
 The jaw-droppingly gorgeous boys ask you to never mention it, and they both swing their beefy arms around you, cocooning you in a tight hug. You melt into their embrace, leaning your head against Jungkook’s shoulder as you grip Namjoon’s bicep. 
 Drawing away, your eyes can’t help but catch their magnetic gazes. Namjoon’s eyes are so incredibly reassuring, but hold a mystery behind them you’re itching to unearth. Jungkook’s eyes are adorable with concern, slightly expectant, but housing a deep, carnal desire he won’t utter aloud. 
 You feel sincerely fucked. They’re simply so compelling, so alluring with their individual beauty and alpha-male energy that calls to your lady bits. Their lips are all you can see; edible pieces of flesh you want to suckle and bite. The aura they possess has been clawing at you ever since you met them, reeling you into their enigmatic trap and unable to untangle yourself.
 Suddenly you didn’t mind being held captive. 
 Your heart accelerates by multiple beats per minute, your blood singing with arousal. You squish your thighs together once you consider having them right here, right now; your core pulsing, drowning in their heady, masculine scents. 
 You swallow dryly, feeling your face collect with warmth, body aching to be satiated. 
 “Is… is the gym officially closed?” You hesitantly query, fidgeting with your sleeves as you flicker your eyes elsewhere. 
 Namjoon caresses your hair soothingly, nodding. “We’re officially closed, cutie”
 “So… it’s just us?” Gulping, you’re not sure how to proceed. Your desire to kiss either of them or make a move is blaring in your horny head, but that has to be unacceptable, right? Kissing one of them when your insides scream at you to kiss both feels wrong, especially doing it in front of the other—nobody likes blatantly being a third wheel. 
 But your greed is uncontainable. The desire for both is raging through you, ensnared by their brawny frames, invigorating stares and intimate body language—you are so genuinely fucked.
 Stuck, you fidget about, avoiding their eyes. You can feel them gazing, attempting to figure you out. Namjoon specifically flickers across your features, studying you. 
 He seems to read your apprehensiveness, suddenly rising from beside you. “It’s only us, but I’m gonna go make sure everything’s locked up, alright? I’ll be back.” He declares, ruffling your hair with a dimply smile. You lightly chuckle as he stalks away, eventually disappearing into the backroom. 
 “Hey.” Jungkook calls beside you, turning towards him. The second you find his eyes, you’re ensnared—the carnality you once detected in his eyes wasn’t hidden anymore, but now rampant, ready to play. 
 You gulp. 
 His hand curls around your cheek, compelling your undivided attention—his hot breath dances across your lips. “You okay, Y/N?” 
 No, you are not fine. How could you be fine when Jungkook’s holding you like this? This close? Your heart feels like it’ll jump across the room, pussy palpitating with need. 
 “I’m… better.” You whisper, so caught up in his intoxicating stare, you can’t function normally.
 Delicately, Jungkook runs the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip, and you swear the wild glance he steals at them is your undoing. You grind your teeth together, waging a civil war with yourself. You want to kiss him, but should you?
Your hormones become the driving force behind your decision, calling out a good fuck it to the universe. 
Unapologetically, you inch forward, eyes glued to his tempting mouth. Jungkook visibly swallows, the gorgeous column of his throat bobbing as he cages your chin slightly tighter, lifting your head. 
The air’s palpable now, so drunk on the idea of him, you’re tired of only letting him exist in your head. 
You collide your lips with Jungkook’s, instantly hit with an enrapturing sensation. His mouth feels warm and soft, those little pink lips of his similar to candy. 
Jungkook’s hand smoothly transitions from cradling your face to brushing into your hair, gently gripping its tresses as he manuevers sideways, opening up your kiss for more. 
You shamelessly groan; he feels exquisite. Jungkook moves his mouth so masterfully, you’re completely swept up in his ocean, riding his pleasurable flow. His tongue gently licks the bottom of your mouth, his other hand sliding up your thigh to eventually encase your waist, devouring you. 
He tastes more divine than you imagined, his hands skilled in the art of seduction. His sweetness is delicious, reaching inside his mouth to explore his tempting depths. Your tongue slides into his and Jungkook’s raw, throaty groan is absolutely Earth-shattering, soaking your panties. 
He entangles his wet muscle with yours in a heartbeat, erotically swirling your tongues together as his deft hands settle by your hips, tugging you towards his open lap. You follow, languidly sliding over his lap and sighing when your clothed center presses into the bump of his erection, only shielded by loose shorts. 
Straddling him, Jungkook presses your body up against his with his strong arms, deepening your kiss. You sigh when his fingers snake into your hair, not even bothering with air when he feels this good. 
Your digits glide into his raven locks, lightly tugging on the tufts—big mistake; Jungkook’s hips suddenly thrust up into you, spelling your doom. 
You break away with a gasp, pussy fluttering with animalistic desire—he’s huge. 
Jungkook snags the opportunity to pepper kisses down your jaw, enveloping your pulse point in his hot mouth. His hungry, wet kisses transport you to paradise, lightly chuckling when a hot memory resurfaces. 
“This feels familiar.” 
He grins against your skin. “Good, I never wanted you to forget.” 
You sigh erotically at his sexy chuckle, veins singing with ecstasy. Jungkook’s love bites cause essence to leak out of you like a faucet, unabashedly riding his crotch, nipples hardening as your hormones surge. He creates delicious friction between your bodies, his scent driving you insane. 
In the midst of drowning in Jungkook’s abyss, you're startled by another presence suddenly enveloping you.
“You started without me?”
Shocked, you open your eyes to find a smirking Namjoon, who surprisingly, ogles the sight of you on top of Jungkook. You, however, scramble. “Oh my God, Joon, I’m sorry—” 
 “Sorry for what? Keep going, Y/N.” 
 You blink, mouth failing to form a coherent sentence. “I–wha—” 
 Namjoon’s eyes dance, luring you into the tempting depths of his thoughts. “I said keep going, cutie.” 
 Flabbergasted, you peer at Jungkook, who’s wearing a devilish grin that suffocates your heart. He gently casts your hair away from your cheek, his voice sweet and warm. “Are you comfortable like this?” 
 At a loss for words, you pause. Is this really happening? Is Namjoon letting you kiss Jungkook and perhaps… enjoying it? Is Jungkook letting you be watched? Suddenly, your sex gushes, your previously slow mind now picking up on what’s really going on here. 
 They’re an interesting pair of friends. 
 “No wonder you both didn’t care when you caught me kissing the other.” You narrow your eyes at them, playfully scrutinizing. “Not your first rodeo?” 
 “Not exactly? You’re the only one we actually became friends with, though. You’re special.” Namjoon sends you a million-dollar smile. 
 “Yeah, we like you,” Jungkook magically grins, cutely nudging your chin. “You’re our girl, if you want to be.” 
 Cheeks warming up, your heart flutters at their ooey-gooey words. “Yes… I’d like to be.”
 “Good.” Namjoon purrs, suddenly approaching you and locking your chin between his thumb and index finger, his gaze utterly submitting. “Now, Y/N, are you okay with Jungkook and I playing with you tonight?” 
 Your sex violently pulses, sucking in a breath. You’ve never dabbled into this side of sex, nor exactly considered a threesome, but nothing in your body indicated this felt wrong—it felt entirely right.  “Yes.” 
 Smirking, Namjoon’s eyes gloss over with a dark haze, flickering towards Jungkook. “Isn’t she gorgeous, JK? Don’t you just wanna worship her body? The way she deserves?” 
 “Fucking stunning.” Jungkook marvels, his deft, strong hands seductively roaming your body. “And yeah, that’s exactly what I plan on doing.” 
 Not even granted the opportunity to reply, Jungkook’s hands develop a mind of their own, traversing your sensitive body as Namjoon guides your lips towards his, planting his hot mouth on you. 
 Namjoon’s kiss is nothing like the one you shared in their dorm. He’s calculative, erotic, and so slow you felt wholly adored. Jungkook’s lips suddenly latch onto your pulse point too, his hands sliding up your waist to slip his fingers underneath your shirt. 
 You gasp into Namjoon’s mouth, feeling your hormones spike as Jungkook inches upwards, teasing your fiery hot skin with his slightly callused hands. When he finally closes his palms over your bra-cladded breasts, you moan, pussy gushing more of your sticky essence. 
 “You like that?” Jungkook whispers hotly, squeezing your breasts again. You bow into him, pleasure burning through your blood. Namjoon breaks away to study the features of your face, lips morphing into a crooked smile. 
 “Out of breath already, cutie?” 
 You nibble your bottom lip, far too hypnotized to even speak—Namjoon smirks, fingers weaving into your hair.. “We haven’t even started yet.” 
 Gushing, your cheeks feel like lava by the time Namjoon pecks your lips again, and Jungkook abandons your neck, cooing. “It’d feel better like this, Y/N.” 
 Jungkook captures your hips and manuevers you to stand up, complying. He spins you around and tugs your ass back over his lap, your spine now pressed to his broad chest, feeling miniature in his gigantic arms. 
 You watch as Jungkook’s hands enclose your waist, now freely excavating your body. His tattooed hand sensually slides underneath your shirt, his lips grazing the crest of your ear. 
 “Can I take this off?” 
 Nodding vehemently, he slips the shirt off, leaving you in your bra and leggings. Jungkook lets out a puff of air once his hands connect with your bare skin, affectionately touching you. “Fuck, the softest skin… just like I imagined.” 
 Butterflies wreak havoc on you, nearly exploding when Namjoon suddenly kneels before you, gazing up at you with bewitching eyes. His hands settle on your knees, sliding over your thighs before ever-so gently pushing them open, gauging your response. 
 Your heart picks up rambunctious speed, pussy clenching as Jungkook’s hands begin slipping into your bra, and Namjooon’s opening up your legs, inching himself forward. 
 “You said your breakup was because you weren’t touched right, were you, Y/N?” Namjoon asks, his hands slowly gliding up and down your quads, coaxing cum out of like clockwork. 
 “Speak, Y/N.” 
 Swallowing, you level your tone. “N-no, I wasn’t.” 
 “Did he kiss you right?” Namjoon queries, his lips simultaneously lowering to your clothed thigh, pressing a hot kiss—you swear Niagara Falls came out of you.
 “Did he handle you right?” Jungkook’s hands skim across your ribcage as he unclips your bra, slowly casting off the straps as though he were waiting for you to stop him. 
 You never do. 
 “Did he know what you needed?” Namjoon’s lips suddenly reach your groin, pressing a kiss so close to your center that you jolt. His hands hook onto the band of your leggings, now elevated on his knees. 
 You’re shaking with immeasurably pleasure when your perky breasts are out in the open, completely entranced by the seductive pair. 
 Jungkook hisses before groping your bare breasts and you moan pornographically, nearly whimpering. He even dares adding a combination of erotic neck-kissing as he squeezes them, findles them, begins drawing tantilizing circles over your nipples—your back curves with a high-pitched moan. 
 He groans when you do, wrapping an arm around your torso and gluing you to him, lips finding your earlobe. He gently suckles on the flesh as he pinches one of your pert nubs—you curse, shoving your cunt closer to Namjoon’s face. 
 “God, you’re so sensitive. You deserve every last bit of pleasure, cutie.” Namjoon’s words ensnare your soul when he begins slowly tugging down your leggings, your pussy quivering with insatiable lust. You feel no need to yield either of them, floating on a cloud of satisfaction that feels infinite. 
 You lightly lift your ass as Namjoon removes your shoes and leggings, entirely aware of your near nakedness. It feels forbidden to be in this state in such a public, open space, heart quickening when it comes to mind. 
 “Namjoon… Jungkook… aren’t there cameras?” You squeak, pathetically squirming. 
 “Privacy concerns.” Jungkook whispers, his tongue coasting across your earlobe, shivers trickling down your spine. “There aren’t any cameras here.” 
 “Just us.” Namjoon assures you, now hiking up your horniness. Not only are you naked in a gym, but you’re being pleasured in an empty, public area by two men who absolutely adore you—what problems could you possibly have? 
 Sliding a hand into Jungkook’s hair behind you and your other into Namjoon’s in front, your pleasure is heightened when Namjoon kisses your bare thigh, sinking into your own euphoria—you moan as loudly as you please. 
 “Namjoon… Jungkook; don’t stop.” 
 You feel both men smirk against your skin, heeding your request. Jungkook’s thick fingers suddenly hook onto the band of your underwear, teasing your hips. He plays around with the lace until his fingers begin dancing towards your center, hissing by your ear. 
 “Fuck, I wonder how wet you are, Y/N.” His gorgeous, smooth voice soothes your eardrums, melting against him. “Let’s see how wet we get you, yeah?” 
 Whimpering as his fingers coast you, you peer at him over your shoulder. Jungkook slowly, but sensually slips into your sticky center, and you’re a goner. The contact his colder hand makes against your warm womanhood sends currents rippling throughout your system. 
 You jump with a shuddering whimper, hiding your face in his shoulder. 
 “Fuck, that’s such a pretty sound.” Namjoon praises from below, teasing your thighs with his lush mouth. “Touch her again, Jungkook.” 
 Complying, Jungkook delves deeper into your sticky folds, but this time, presses into your pussy lips, lightly rubbing through them. You shudder with an erotic moan that echoes in the gym, scratching your nails into Jungkook’s neck. 
 He hums with satisfaction, groaning. “Christ, hyung, she’s fucking soaked.” 
 “See for yourself.” 
 Namjoon cocks a brow before he locks eyes with you, practically purring. “Can I take them off?” 
 He’s indicating your panties, and you pathetically nod. Namjoon slides his thumbs through the lacey sides and tugs down your underwear, his eyes blowing out once they land on your sex. “Fucking hell, Y/N, you’re so wet and puffy. Practically dripping all over Jungkook.” 
 Embarassed, your cheeks heat up, hiding against Jungkook again. “I’m sorry.” 
 Namjoon’s eyebrows acutely scrunch together, his hands gentle on your thighs after he casts away your underwear. “Why are you sorry, Y/N? Don’t say sorry.” He instructs, curling his hand around your cheek to hold your gaze seriously. “Your body is fucking gorgeous; you’re gorgeous.” 
 Timid, you feel your heart clench, throbbing against your ribs. Jungkook simultaneously stuffs his fingers against your cunt as well, drawing slow, small circles as he plays with your wetness—you quiver with intense pleasure. 
 “Drip on me all you want, baby.” Jungkook coos, kissing your shoulder. “That’s exactly what we want.” 
 Feeling comfortable, you peer up at Jungkook by your side, grateful for both of them. Your hand in Namjoon’s hair lightly pushes him back to your core, and your other clasps Jungkook’s cheek, sweeping him in a kiss. 
 Jungkook groans as your tongue slithers into his mouth, grazing your fingers down his tattooed arm and guiding his fingertips towards your clit. Jungkook’s smile interrupts your kiss, catching your drift, and his digits press into your throbbing pearl.
 You wildly gasp, pussy lips palpitating for more, and Namjoon’s scheming between your legs, wetting his lips as he eyes you like Halloween candy. Jungkook notices, breaking away from your kiss. “Taste her, hyung. She’s probably sweet as fuck.” 
 With a lop-sided grin, Namjoon cages your thighs, throws them over his shoulders, and sinks into your core, pressing an open-mouthed kiss that lights your soul on fire. You quiver when his warm tongue glides through your folds, moaning uncontrollably. Namjoon slowly licks another long stripe through you as Jungkook decides to flick at your clit, ecstasy invading your bloodstream. 
 You sigh out pornographically, clinging to both of them desperately. You tug on Namjoon’s luscious locks as you clutch the tattooed hand Jungkook’s lodged between your legs, losing yourself. Your hips develop a mind of their own, yearning for Namjoon’s crafty tongue, your own longing for Jungkook and slipping it inside his mouth for a lustful, nasty kiss. 
 The sloppy sounds from your kissing and Namjoon eating you out fills your body with undeniable arousal, both men groaning deeply. You pant with arrant pleasure, pussy on fire and Jungkook’s taste melting over your tastebuds. 
  Jungkook’s free hand suddenly encircles your midriff, pushing up your boobs. You shudder when he begins fondling one of your nipples as he masterfully swirls his fingers on your sticky bud, spreading your wetness all over yourself.
 “Jungkook… Namjoon… fuck.” You whimper, twitching when Namjoon’s tongue sweeps your palpitating hole. “I’m already gonna come… shit. I don’t wanna come so easily.” 
 “We can make you come as many times as you want, cutie.” Namjoon eases you. “Let us show you.” 
 Your innards explode when Namjoon and Jungkook suddenly begin moving faster, in sync, so harmonized and in rhythm you thank the Heavens for creating such fine men attuned to the female body. Namjoon tirelessly laps at the cum you ooze and Jungkook familiarizes himself with what makes you tick; drawing titillating patterns and flicking your clit side-to-side, circling your perky nipples. 
 Your moans accelerate to embarrassing speeds, signaling your impending orgasm. It’s building so quickly you have no idea how this is possible, so utterly turned on you’re too wound up to conjure up why. Things intensify; your sounds, your arousal, your climax that approaches by the second.
 You become so loud that your hips ride Namjoon’s face, and Jungkook ensnares your chin to sink his thumb into your mouth, his voice dripping with sex.
 “Suck on it, Y/N, suck on it like you would our cocks and moan like a pretty girl.” 
 You close your lips around his digit and swirl your tongue around it obediently, moaning in delirium. You lick and suck ceaselessly as Namjoon drives you insane between your legs, Jungkook’s fingers still working magic over your pearl. Your moans climb to high pitches as your pussy violently plapitates, your breaths clipping and your body shaking, every muscle tensing. 
 With one last of everything, you tip over the edge, orgasm detonating inside you. You come with a gasp,  both men endearingly attentive as they pamper your naked, panting body through your euphoria. Namjoon’s tongue is languid and slow as Jungkook peppers your neck with kisses, fingers slowly fiddling with your battered bundle of nerves. 
 Oversensitive, you whimper, pleading eyes flashing towards Namjoon. “Joon, Koo, please.” 
 Namjoon pulls away from your sex, his gorgeous lips glistening with your cum. Jungkook also removes his hand, slipping his digits into his own mouth to get a taste of you—he groans. “Fuck, sweet like I said.” 
 “She tastes like Heaven.” Namjoon praises, admiring your flushed, blissed out face. “Sounds like Heaven, too.” 
 Coming down your high, your urge to pleasure the pair becomes searing, eyeing Namjoon specifically with hot determination. He’d just been the one to eat you out, and now you’re itching to swallow what you know to be his monster length in your mouth.
 “Joon,” you purr, slinking into Jungkook’s comfortable arms. “Stand up.” 
 Cocking a brow, Namjoon steadily rises, eyeing you comfortably reclined in Jungkook’s embrace. You send Namjoon a seductive, tempting gaze as Jungkook wraps his brawny arms around you, scanning the former’s body up and down—you reach out your hand. “Come.” 
 Namjoon takes it, letting you pull him forward until his hips are leveled with your face, tugging at your bottom lip. Your hands glide up his muscly thighs to grip onto his hips, peering up at him with a silent plea. 
 His dragon eyes spark with arousal, watching as Jungkook casts your hair away from your face—Namjoon grins. “She’s definitely crafty.” 
 “And cute.” Jungkook smiles widely. “Just our type.” 
 Namjoon slinks his hand into your hair, his thumb caressing your cheek. “I’ll let you take me in your mouth, cutie. But we’ll need you in a different position.” 
 Intrigued, you whisper faintly “What position?” 
 Namjoon grips you with a feral look. “One that’ll never let you forget tonight.” 
 Namjoon sends Jungkook a knowing look, and Jungkook moves out from underneath you, his pretty lips soon by your ear. “Can we stretch you the way we want, baby?” 
 Gushing, you nod, feeling their hands skim across your fiery skin. You gasp when Jungkook suddenly tugs your hips upward, perched on all fours on the machine’s bed with your ass up, staring directly at Namjoon’s manhood. 
 Your arousal seeps down your groin at just the thought of what they’ll do to you like this, eager for more. 
 “Fuck, she already wants more.” Jungkook watches you from behind in awe, smoothing his palm over your lower back. “You want us to fill you up that badly, baby?” 
 Nodding, Namjoon lightly chuckles in front of you, adoring your keen expression. He bends down, gripping your chin. “Trust me, cutie, we’re gonna fill you up so good you’ll feel us for days.” 
 You shiver with pleasure, sending him a lacisivous smile. “Then get to work, boys.” 
 Namjoon flexes his jaw before sexily smiling, rising again. His erection evidently strains against the material of his shorts, itching to have him inside your cheeks. Namjoon steps closer, extending his hand to stroke your hair. The action submits you, eventually settling your ass over your tucked legs, eyes gleaming up at him. 
 Namjoon groans. “Fuck, look at you sitting all pretty, ready for me.” 
 Your heart glows, hooking onto the waistband of Namjoon’s shorts and boxers, close to tugging them down until you suddenly earn a spank to your ass, hard. You gasp, but your pussy spasms with arousal, peering over your shoulder. 
 “Jungkook!” You earn no reply when he answers by gripping your hips and tugging your ass up again, easing the site of the impact. 
 “Did I say you could lower your ass?” 
 Choking, you can’t believe how hot he is, shaking your head. “No.” 
 “Then stay like this, baby.” Jungkook coos, caressing your spine with a gentle push that causes you to arch. “I haven’t gotten to taste you yet.” 
 Eyes blowing out, you can’t even respond when Namjoon traps your chin again, forcing you to look at him. “Taste me while he tastes you, cutie.” 
 Impressed by their sexual prowess, you oblige, completely taken by both of them. You tug down Namjoon’s shorts along with his boxers, and your mouth immediately waters
 He’s thick, and he’s huge. 
 Namjoon chuckles as your reaction, threading his fingers through your hair. “Take your time, Y/N. We’ve got all night.” 
 Hearing his deep, low voice hum so huskily, you melt, wrapping your hand around his shaft to experiment. You’re fascinated by the beads of cum that already escape him, how he hotly throbs in your grip. You pump him gently, listening to him sucking in a hard breath, suppressing a groan.
 Jungkook behind you gets to work, suddenly sliding his fingers through your folds. You shudder in your position, gasping when his breath fans across your netherlips.
 You focus on Namjoon’s cock, reaching out your tongue to drag it along his bulging veins, gently applying pressure until you reach his leaking slit. You press the tip of your tongue against it, and Namjoon beautifully groans, cursing. “Fuck.” 
 Thrilled, you repeat the sensation, this time slowly swiveling your wet muscle around his dick, tasting him for all he’s worth. Namjoon hisses as his grip tightens in your hair, letting out a string of profanities. “Shit, Y/N, you crafty fucking tease.” 
 Smirking, you lick him like a lollipop, but add a twist—your hand comes up to fondle his balls. Namjoon’s hand suddenly tugs at your hair, nearly shoving his cock into your mouth in that instant. 
 “For fuck’s sake, you conniving woman.” A deep groan escapes the back of his throat, hissing louder. “I’ll fuck your face if you do that again, Y/N. Don’t.” 
 Disobeying, you’re too confident in your power. You absorb the pleasure Jungkook’s fingers provide from behind you, fuelling you to plunge Namjoon into your mouth. He shudders above you, his cock twitching within you. “Y/N—” 
 You ignore him squeezing his eyes shut and his hips fighting his self-control, desperate to see him lose it. You slowly drive him into your mouth inch by inch, moaning as he perfectly invades you—your body lights up with fire. 
 Jungkook suddenly speaks up from behind you, marvelling. “My fucking God, she loves it, hyung. She’s dripping again, such a nasty girl.” 
 Simultaneously, Jungkook’s done playing with your pussy and decides to dive in, his pretty lips enveloping your sex. You moan harder with Namjoon lodges himself inside you and Jungkook’s mouth is hot on your cunt; his version of eating out is completely different. 
 For such a cute, small set of lips, Jungkook mouths you as though you’re an oasis in the middle of the Sahara. 
 He goes to town, tongue wiggling through your folds as he licks at your leaking cum, his fingers claiming your clit again. Your moans cause Namjoon in front to take control of your speed, weaving both hands into your hair. He grasps your head to gently fuck his cock into your mouth, eventually relinquishing control to him, engulfed in your pleasure from both ends.
 Namjoon begins thrusting, crafting his own intoxicating pace that fills your mouth with his girthy, leaking cock. He tastes divine, and his dark, spell-binding gaze from above is glorious, letting him wreck your face as he pleases. 
 Jungkook’s no different; he dominates you from behind, too. In the midst of eating you out, his finger slides into your spasming hole, your back jerking as he curls it to scrape against your frontal walls. He moans into your pussy, the vibrations travelling up your center and rattling your core. 
 His hot breaths feel tantalizing, eventually riding his face with wanton pleasure. Jungkook curses at your eager hips, plunging a second finger inside you that causes you to cry out, arms and legs shaking. 
 Both men catch the sight of your quivering body. Jungkook soothes your spasming thighs from behind, cooing. “You’re doing so good, baby. So fucking good.” 
 “I’m close, cutie. Just a little more for me.” Namjoon pants, propelling his hips into your face. At one point, he stuffs himself so deep inside you he kisses the spongy end of your throat. You immediately gag, tears pooling in your eyes as you swallow around him.
 Big mistake; Namjoon curses through his teeth, letting out a broken moan. “Holy fuck–” 
 You hollow your cheeks around him in response, sucking like a mad woman and pouring your strength into staying upright, nabbing his balls again. You squeeze and fondle them, Namjoon’s guttural, masculine sounds filling your ears like a symphony. 
 “This pussy, so fucking good.” Jungkook praises behind you, eating you up like dessert. “The wettest ever. What I’ll do once I’m inside you…” 
 His words drive him to push three fingers inside you, gasping when his ring finger penetrates you. Your walls clamp around his digits, his other hand already toying with your clit as his tongue works tireless magic, driving you towards the edge. 
 You cry as Namjoon hammers your face and Jungkook finger-fucks you from behind, your pleasure so overwhelming your limbs are twitching, nerves ready to explode. Namjoon’s groans become faster, harder, slamming his throbbing cock into you as you uncontrollably gag. 
  Namjoon quickly asks, his eyes dripping with urgency. “Are you okay with swallowing me?” His hips only slow down by a notch. “Tell me, cutie, I’m so fucking close.” 
 When you nod, Namjoon revives his lethal pace and forces himself so deep within your throat, his cum shoots against the back of it, the taste detonating across your tongue. You mewl, Jungkook cleverly sliding his fingers against your g-spot, his familiar fingers fondling your clit so deliciously that your second orgasm rolls through you. 
 It splatters all over his tongue, and he groans as he licks you, cursing. “Fucking hell, come all over me, Y/N. Let me lick you up.” 
 His nasty words drive you to release more, pussy throbbing with heat. But the burgeoning demands more, your insides beg to be filled and fucked so hard you won’t be able to walk straight. 
 Namjoon draws out of your mouth, faltering back to collect himself, no doubt still riding his high. On the contrary, Jungkook’s rabid behind you, your body collapsing forward and giving out. He allows you time to rest, even peppers your backside with kisses and praises, soothing you. 
 “The best girl ever, our girl.” He coos, moving slowly and considerately. But you don’t want him to be slow and considerate, you don’t care how tired you are, there’s something about this moment that compels you to crave more, desperate for it. 
 You muster the strength to shove your ass back against Jungkook, peeking over your shoulder. “Jungkook, please… please fuck me.” 
 His eyes blow out, his hand careful over your spine. “Y/N, are you sure?” 
 “Please?” You beg, eyes glistening as you beseech. “Fuck me like a pathetic slut, fuck me hard.” 
 He shudders out a groan behind you, caressing your ass. “Baby, if I fuck you hard, you’ll feel me in your stomach.” 
 “Then fill me up,” you blurt out, on the verge of tears for more, knowing how hard Jungkook must be, how deliciously he’d fuck you. “Wanna feel you inside me, Jungkook… now.” 
 Hissing behind you, Jungkook can’t help but roam his palm over your ass, suddenly whipping it back to spank you again. You buck forward, moaning erotically. In the same swift motion, Jungkook captures your hips, flips you onto your back, and slots himself between your legs. He instantly hunches over you, his doe eyes staring carnally into yours as his hands settle either side of your head—you can't help but gaze at him in shock before timidly averting your eyes 
 “Look at me, Y/N.” He commands. The intimate missionary position fills your lung with fire, your legs hovering around his hips. Your breath hitches as his scent invades your nostrils, tempted by the wild look in his eyes when you connect glances again—his husky timbre is to die for. “Do I look like I’m kidding when I say I’m going to fuck you stupid hard?” 
 His dominance submits you, shaking your head—Jungkook’s lips threaten to smirk. “You want me to fuck you stupid hard?” 
 Shamelessly nodding, Jungkook clasps your chin, plastering his lips against yours for a messy kiss before whispering against them. “Good, then hold me close, and never let go.” 
 Heart and pussy gushing, you cling your arms around Jungkook’s neck, feeling your sex flutter open as he positions himself between you. He tugs down his pants to his thighs and gently pumps his rock solid cock, mouth watering once you gain sight of his leaking flesh. He’s slightly longer than Namjoon and only a little less girthier, but Jungkook’s veins are utterly gorgeous, lighting you on fire. 
 You tug at his shirt, causing Jungkook to stretch up to his full height and grip the back of his top, sexily sliding it off. He tosses the thing aside and hunches over you again, your eager hands welcoming his beautiful, bare skin. You excavate him, skimming your nails across his perfect pecs and slabs of muscle. You can’t help but reach up and envelope him in a head-spinning kiss, Jungkook groaning as his cock caresses your naked pussy every now and then. 
 A smug grin tugs Jungkook’s lips when you break away, regarding you below. He nearly lowers himself to claim your lips again, but seems to notice Namjoon opposite of you—he laughs through his words. “See you still got your voyeurism kink?” 
 Tilting your head upwards, you find a flushed, blissed out Namjoon watching you and Jungkook as he reclines against an exercise machine—his smile is utterly shit-eating. You hear Namjoon’s gorgeous chuckle before his tired voice follows. “Of course, idiot. Still got your exhibitionism kink?” 
 “No shit, dumbass.” Your heart secretly grins before you perk up and kiss Jungkook again, impatiently craving him. He returns your liplock, tongue delving into your mouth before he pulls away, threading his fingers through your hair. “Are you okay with Namjoon watching us, baby?” 
 Skimming your fingers across Jungkook’s perfect jaw, you peek up at Namjoon again, who’s expression is so devilishly invested, your pussy palpitates—you nod. Did you want Namjoon to watch Jungkook absolutely rail you? Yes, yes you did. Why? You’ll find the reason out later. “Yes.” 
 Jungkook’s lips beautifully curve,  his eyes swirling with self-control he valiantly fights to keep alive. “Let’s use a condom?” 
  “No, IUD.” You pout. “Please, Jungkook, just fuck me.” 
 He charmingly chuckles, pressing a kiss to your collarbone. “You trust us that much?” 
 “Yes.” You blurt out, hands desperately entwining in his hair. Jungkook tugs at his bottom lip, completely taken by you. His hands suddenly grip your body hard, squaring his jaw as he lets out a deep breath. 
 “Say it again.” 
 Eyes rounding with innocence, you coo softly. “Fuck me, Jungkook.” 
 “Again.” He urges. 
 “Jungkook, please…” you beseech, gripping him tightly. “Fuck my tight little pussy.” 
 You swear the groan that bellows out of him is earth-shattering, readying you for his intrusion.
 When Jungkook enters you, you swear Heaven and Hell collide to create the perfect mix of pleasure and pain. Your wet walls easily make way for him to dive in, slowly inserting himself inch by painstaking inch. Jungkook deliciously moans as he invades you, his nose flush against yours, his breaths fanning across your swollen lips. 
 He grunts once he meets the end of you, your heart jackhammering away as Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut, unable to contain himself. 
 “Jesus fucking Christ, you’re so warm, Y/N. The way you’re smothering my dick…” He can’t even finish his sentence while you’re similarly faded, the sheer size of him inside you utterly fulfilling, enthralling—you whimper pathetically. 
 “Big… Jungkook… you feel so big.” 
 Jungkook hides his face in the crook of your neck, peppering you with comforting kisses. “Relax, Y/N. Open up for me baby, bit by bit.” 
 Attempting to calm yourself down, you suddenly feel a pair of hands settle over your shoulders, opening your eyes to find Namjoon above, his kind irises reassuring you. “Just in and out, cutie. Jungkook’s gonna fuck you hard, so relax for him, yeah?”  
 Insides twisting with arousal, you nod, heeding his request. You unclench your pussy walls and rather welcome Jungkook’s invigorating member, soaking in the slight pain as pleasure, melting when Namjoon pairs your efforts with a supportive shoulder massage. 
 You instantly relax, and Jungkook feels it, smiling down at you. “Atta girl.” 
 Flushed, your heart leaps out of your chest when Jungkook suddenly secures his hands on your shins, pushing them back. He watches himself draw out of your sex, only for a second, until he thrusts back in, hard and deep. 
 You gasp erotically,  chest rising and falling as your nails dig into his neck muscles. “Jungkook–!” 
 “Too hard?” 
 “No… just like that,” you pant, eyes beaming with feral desire. “Fuck me just like that.” 
 His smirk is sinfully handsome, not wasting another second. Jungkook grips your legs tightly as he pulls out, long and slow, and thrusts into you with force yet again, practically nudging your stomach like he claimed he would. Your body quivers when he dares swivel his cock inside you, rubbing against your sensitive g-spot.
 Your legs pathetically spasm, whimpering as your hands claw into his meaty deltoids. He clearly determines something, caging your eyes with an intense gaze before replicating the same cosmic thrust—you squeak. 
 “There?” He coos, his irises obsidian.
 “Right there, Jungkook.” 
 Driven, Jungkook slowly removes himself before sheathing himself inside you again, and again, and again until he finds a delicious pace, fucking you with a hard and deep rhythm that causes your slapping bodies to resound around the gym. You gasp and sensually sigh as Jungkook spreads you wider, thrusting powerfully into your velvet walls that attempt to hold him captive. 
 Namjoon is your relentless support system as Jungkook drives himself in you with such jaw-droppingly good friction, tears well up in your eyes, wrought with undeniable pleasure.
 Jungkook’s lips hang open as he fucks you with vigor, enhancing the entire experience when he hugs your thighs between his arms and elevating your hips, completely destroying your pussy. He penetrates you roughly, delivering astounding thrusts that smash your pulsing g-spot, crying out in pleasure.
 “Jungkook… fuck!” 
 “I swear, Y/N.” Jungkook pants, his eyes hungry as his hips move in a frenzy. “Fuck everyone’s definition of a slut, you’re our slut, baby. Our pretty fucking slut.” 
 “Ours,” Namjoon echoes above you, shocked when he kisses you, his eyes warm and caring. “Our girl, our good fucking girl.” 
 Gushing, their words help you consider that… yes, if you’re any slut, then you’re their slut. These two delicious men have had you by your pussy since the day you met them, and nothing makes you more content than claiming Jack’s insult back and having them fuck your brains out, giving you the sex you deserve. 
 “Look at how well you take Jungkook, cutie. Look.” Namjoon prompts you to watch the way Jungkook enters you, the carnal man grunting as his hips meld with yours. The erotic image of his long, gigantic dick somehow shoving inside your spasming pussy walls causes your back to arch, Jungkook losing his composure. 
 “Fuck… ahh fuck.” He curses, hissing violently. “God, Y/N, you’re so fucking tight.” 
 “The prettiest girl in the fucking world.” Namjoon praises, coasting his hands over your collarbones and closing his palms around your breasts—you instantly gasp. “Don’t stay quiet, cutie. Take Jungkook like you mean it.” 
 Both you and Jungkook groan, working your bodies with blissful harmony as Namjoon fingers your hard nipples. Your sighs spill out a mantra of Jungkook’s name, begging him for more, to fuck you wildly. He hisses as a result, so loud that he suddenly leans back up and grabs your wrists off his arms. He holds onto you for leverage as he begins jackhammering into your gushing sex, hollering his name. 
 “Fuck!” He grits, breathing and sweating harshly as he thrusts into you like a madman. “I’ll fucking come, Jesus!” 
 Desiring your undoing as well, you wish for friction against your clit, almost releasing your hand to do so until Namjoon reads your mind. He reaches over and nestles his fingers against your clit, fondling the vibrating bundle of nerves. 
 “Joon…” You whimper.
 “Let go, cutie.” He coos, stroking your hair. “Come for us again, one more time.” 
 Namjoon pecks you as your eyes fall to Jungkook’s powerful body fucking you with such vehemence, with delicious force that drives your high. The sexy image of his abs flexing, his gorgeous frame moving so roughly—you’re extremely close to unraveling. “Jungkook, oh my God, oh my God!” 
 “Your pussy, fucking shit, so good, so fucking good!” Jungkook lets out a string of curses, adding the last of his strength into his monstrous thrusts that quite literally reach your stomach. You mewl out uncontrollably as Jungkook mercilessly pounds you, absolutely battering your pussy.
  But that’s not enough, Jungkook’s officially gone off the rails. 
 His hand suddenly wraps around your throat, leaning over to squeeze the sides and lightly restrict your airway. You swear you live on cloud nine by then, pleasure throbbing in your veins so hard you grip his tattooed wrist as he chokes you, lips spilling out senseless moans as he vociferously owns your body and pussy. 
 Before you know it, Namjoon’s circles on your clit cause your walls to clamp down on Jungkook’s cock so tightly, you arrive before you intend to, an explosive orgasm blossoming inside you. Jungkook grunts out when your walls trap him, releasing your throat to slide his hand into your hair, cradling your body. He accelerates his strokes quickly, fucking you senseless until he suddenly comes to a stop, imploring you. 
 “Y/N… cum… on your face?” 
 You don’t even care, in such delirium that tasting his cum would be a perfectly divine addiction. Jungkook instantly pulls out, fucking his slickened dick into his fist before his hot seed spills all over your agape mouth. He coats your lips, cheek, and chin, giving you the facial of a lifetime.
 You shamelessly taste him, tongue poking out to lick his cum and Jungkook groans at the sight, absolutely weak for you. “Y/N, you’re fucking perfect—I swear I could fall in love.” 
 His compliment boosts your ego, catching the last remnants of him. You glide your thumb across the stray strings of his cum and swipe it into your mouth, moaning when you lick him. Jungkook flashes you a fucked out grin, his beautiful hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his muscles beautifully bulging. 
 When Jungkook steps away, you attempt to rise, but you’re completely tuckered out, nearly falling. Namjoon catches you from behind, locking eyes with him again. “You took so much, cutie. I know you’re tired, let me treat you, hm?”
 Delirious, you lightly groan, legs and pussy absolutely destroyed. “Namjoon…” You breathe, reaching out for him, and he immediately tends to you, encasing you in his arms. “I got you, cutie.” 
 Being positioned once again, Namjoon fixes you both so that you’re seated on the machine’s bed again, except, you’re facing its backrest, confused. Namjoon soothes your shoulders and kisses the space between them before he casts your hair back, whispering from behind. “Lift up your hips, cutie.” 
 Complying, you do as told, and you’re surprised by what happens next; Namjoon slots himself underneath your cunt, his face inches from being sat on—you scandalously gasp. “Namjoon, no way—” 
 “Sit down, cutie.” He eases you, running his hands up and down your sides. “Let me make you feel better.” 
 Apprehensive, your cheeks warm. “I’ll suffocate you like this, Joon—” 
 “Y/N, sit on my face before I spank you.” 
 His order sends a current rippling through your system, gulping. His gorgeous hands form to your hips once he sees your hesitancy, slowly lowering you, his hot breath fanning your battered folds. You moan when you feel him underneath, your breasts squishing against the backseat of the machine’s bed, nipples hardening
 You still hover, your face hot with shame, but before you can speak Namjoon tugs down your core and into his open mouth. You gasp against the seat, nails grappling onto the edge with your life. Namjoon was right; when his tongue slowly glides across your torn up sex, his slow, sensual licks supply you with ease. 
 You throw your head back as you gently begin riding his face, drowning in his euphoric pleasure once again. He’s truly gifted with his tongue, you think, his intimate licks and ministrations acting as soothing balm to your spasming pussy. 
 With arousal still burning within your veins, you’re shocked when your eyes flutter open to the touch of fingers caressing your chin. You find Jungkook behind the machine’s seat above you, tilting your head up. His playful eyes send a message of lust, his scheming tongue wetting his lips. It’s not until you see him pumping his cock again, are you intrigued by the sight and his dirty thoughts.
 Watching him fist-fuck himself instantly heightens your pleasure, groaning loudly as Namjoon licks between your thighs and your nipples scrape against the leather. Jungkook may have just been jerking off to earn his hardness back, but you’re hungry for more, fearlessly curling your hand around Jungkook’s fist. You unravel his fingers, entwining your hands and pulling him towards your face. 
 When you send him a submissive gaze, his eyes haze over with carnality. “Y/N, are you sure?” 
 Tossing aside a reply, you sink his delicious length past your tight lips, moaning once his cock settles over your tongue. The weight of him causes cum to ooze out of you, even more so his taste. You instinctually begin sucking him off, hollowing your cheeks as Namjoon crafts Heaven between your legs. 
 The deeply masculine sound that escapes Jungkook is like a symphony, him smoothing your hair like a good girl. You shake when Namjoon simultaneously moans beneath you, sending the vibrations to ripple through your core. 
 “Fuck… Y/N…” Jungkook’s voice wavers, his deft digits brushing your hair back into a makeshift ponytail and taking control of the pace, fucking into your mouth. The pleasure on both ends of you is glorious, tears escaping your eyes when Jungkook’s cock slams against the back of your throat. 
 He grows hard inside your mouth again, splitting you open bit by bit until something stirs deeply within you; another orgasm. You can’t orgasm again like this, you need penetration now or you’ll die empty. 
 Digging your nails into Jungkook’s tattooed wrist, he notices your strain, pulling out of your mouth. “Are you okay, Y/N?” 
 “Inside me… I can’t anymore…” You beg, catching your breath after being so full. You cough, throat sparse after all it's been through, and Jungkook immediately dips down, cupping your face and sealing your mouths for a sweet kiss. 
 “We got you, baby.” He coos, releasing you to suddenly disappear behind you. Namjoon also stops licking your cunt, his full lips painted with your essence. You watch in awe as he makes eye contact with Jungkook and suddenly shuffles upwards—you are now seated on his lap. You pant once you face him, cheeks as hot as lava, skin covered in sweat. 
 Namjoon cradles your body lovingly, brushing your hair from your face. “One last time, cutie.” His heated breath fans across your cheek. “Let us pleasure our girl one last time.” 
 Head spinning with a sex-crazed haze, you nod, arms clinging around Namjoon for support. Jungkook’s hands suddenly encircle your hips, massaging into them from behind. Delicately, you ask. “What… what are you… going to do?” 
 Smirking, Namjoon presses a kiss to your nose, Jungkook smoothing your hair. 
 “We’re gonna stretch you out, cutie.” Namjoon’s smooth, deep voice sounds like music to your ears. 
 Jungkook’s lips brush your lobe from behind, too. “Will you let us, Y/N? Run our hands all over your body? Fuck you like you deserve? Together?” 
 Feeling so infinitely coddled by them, you smile, heart soaring. Nodding, your eyes connect intimately with both of them. Namjoon nestles his finger underneath your chin, guiding you towards him. He leans close and seals your mouths, enveloping you in a consuming kiss. 
 His tongue immediately invades you, tasting yourself on him. Your naked breasts press against his clothed chest, and your hands get to work. Yearning for his hot skin against yours, you greedily push up his shirt until his shoulders, Namjoon stripping it off and tossing it away. 
 You sigh when he embraces you and your hot, sweaty skin connects, your hands sliding into his gorgeous head of hair. Namjoon’s thick, assured hands roam down your sides, gliding over your ass and gripping it as hard as he could. Jungkook isn’t lacking either, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder and stroking your lower back. 
 Your hands develop their own mind and feel Namjoon’s broad chest, scraping your nails down his taut stomach and strong abdomen until you clasp his solid dick. 
 Namjoon twitches in your hold, gripping your hand. “Put me in together?” 
 Nodding with a nibble of your lip, Namjoon holds you tighter, lightly lifting you against him. He positions you over his tip, aligning himself perfectly. You suck in a breath, breathing rapidly, eyes naturally connecting with Namjoon’s blown out ones. 
 “Breathe in,” Namjoon instructs, and just as you breathe out, the man spears you on his thick cock.
 “Ngh…” You moan loudly, clamping down on your lip to contain yourself. No matter how sore, Namjoon feels exponential, his elongated member scraping past your pulsating walls. 
 “Fuckkk.” Namjoon groans, deep and husky. He takes a minute as he throbs inside you, your pussy clenching him repeatedly. “You fit like a fucking glove, Y/N.” 
 Mewling, you grip his hair, every nerve-ending in your body coming alive. Namjoon buries his hand in your hair too, elevating your hips to draw himself out of you, only to smash you back over. 
 Your moans spill into his mouth, drunk on the feeling of him. “So thick, Joon… fuck.” 
 “Let’s go harder, cutie.” He coos, pressing you against his chest. “Can you?” 
 Nodding, Namjoon lifts up your body to sheath himself back in harshly. The sensation explodes inside you, this position offering a deeper experience. He prods the end of you almost painfully, but your arousal expands you enough, fluttering your eyes shut with pleasure. 
 He repeats the action harder, borrowing deeply inside you once again. He tickles your very soul as he forces you down over him but elevates his hips, skewering you completely. 
 You wail shamelessly, shuddering against his mouth. He wastes no time in crafting a delicious pace then, bouncing you over his cock until your bodies rut against each other, skin slapping against skin. Your erotic moans circle throughout the gym as Jungkook’s hands form to your hips, his lips brushing your ear.
 “Lift up your cute ass, baby.” He purrs, threading his digits through your hair. Glancing over your shoulder, your teary eyes question him. 
 “We’re gonna fill you up, cutie.” Namjoon pants, easing you up with his benign hands and decelerating his thrusts. You comply by gently lifting your ass, and Namjoon slides lower beneath you, causing you to naturally incline you forward—you’re positioned on all-fours on top of him again. 
 A shocked gasp erupts from our chest when you suddenly feel your second hole being prodded, air sucked out of your lungs. “Oh my god, Jungkook—“ 
 “Are you okay, Y/N?” 
 “Yes… I just—“ you shudder when Namjoon slightly pushes inside you, pussy vigorously palpitating around him. “I’ve never had… I’ve never—“ 
 “Don’t worry, Y/N.” Namjoon swipes his thumb across your cheek, soothing you. “Jungkook’s gonna be gentle.” 
 “I’ll go slow, Y/N, I promise you'll feel good.” Jungkook kisses your neck, pampering you with his sweet mouth and delicate touches. “I’ll stop whenever you want me to, yeah?” 
 Weighing the options, you decide to nod. You’d already been experiencing such astonishing things tonight, why not add to the treasury? 
 Inhaling Namjoon’s cologne deeply, you prepare yourself for Jungkook’s intrusion. He lightly plays with your second hole, gently fingering it. You gasp when he suddenly leans over and spits on it, using his saliva to slicken up the entrance. 
 You’re grateful Namjoon’s claimed a slower, steadier pace beneath you. It allows you the time to conjure up strength when Jungkook pushes his finger into your hole, cursing with pleasure.
 You’re shocked; the sensation is entirely foreign, but not unwelcome. He experiments more, suddenly caressing his fingers through your dripping pussy that Namjoon slowly fucks. He smears it all over you, even teasing your perineum with your fluids.
 Wanton moans escape you, thrilled by the explosive sensations. But nothing compares to the sound you make when Jungkook lightly slaps his erect cock over your puckered hole. Your face falters into Namjoon’s chest, offering up your ass even more for Jungkook. 
 He chuckles behind you, palm slapping a cheek. You shudder, pussy gushing cum like a waterfall. Namjoon groans when you clench around him, and Jungkook smooths over the point of impact. “That’s the spirit, Y/N.” 
 Suppressing a moan, you almost snap back something witty before he suddenly aligns himself with you, his soft tip poking your tightest hole. Air leaves your lungs the second he pushes, gasping for oxygen as you habitually refuse him. 
 “Don’t tense, baby.” Jungkook advises, kneading your backside. “Open up for me baby, slowly.” 
 His affectionate tone causes you to loosen up, accepting rather than rejecting his intrusion. You let him sink himself further, steadily inserting himself with the help of your acceptance and the mixture of saliva and cum.You smother Namjoon’s dick inside your first hole to accommodate Jungkook, and pleasure bleeds inside you. 
 Your walls spasm violently, the sensation of being filled in both holes utterly riveting. To think you’d be sandwiched like this between such gorgeous men, with both of them inside you? Tending to your body with such attuned knowledge of the female body and your pleasure? 
 You may as well be in Heaven. 
 It certainly feels like it when Jungkook manages to shove at least a third of himself inside you, stopping when your breaths clip too quickly. “Are you alright, Y/N?” 
 “Y/N, hey,” Namjoon catches your grimacing features, clasping your head between his hands and prompting you to open your eyes, his irises warm. “Are you with us? Is it too much?” 
 Swallowing, you adjust to the euphoric sensations, and a smug smile tugs at your lips. You flash him a lustful look, each intake of oxygen reminding of your filled holes, and buzzing with irreplaceable pleasure. “It’s perfect… more.” 
 Namjoon smirks upon noticing the gleam in your eyes, leaning forward for a kiss. “Yeah, you’re definitely our girl.” 
 Jungkook beautifully chuckles behind you, and it isn’t long before you’re skewered by both beefy, brawny men, whose large, masculine hands hold your body in place as they fuck you. Namjoon sheaths himself inside your pussy as slowly as Jungkook thrusts into your tightest hole, being considerate as ever. 
 Your arousal begins blinding you, the burgeoning inside you far too violent. You need more; need a faster, deeper pace that fucks you into oblivion. 
 You’re not one to ever let a man use you, but right now, you want nothing but to be fucked senseless by both Namjoon and Jungkook. You yearn for your body to pleasure them, to screw you with such abandon that you’ll senselessly scream.
 “Namjoon… Jungkook… harder. Fuck me harder.” 
 Breathing harshly, they heed your request, Namjoon gripping your sides and Jungkook holding your hips, both of them suddenly making eye contact over you. They seem to agree on something, and you swear the stars align for you when they employ their plan. 
 They both simultaneously pull out of you, letting you whine with ire, just to shove back in at the same time. Your lungs relocate themselves, moaning into Namjoon’s mouth as they repeat the action, thrusting into you with such force your eyes roll back. 
 The devilish pair leave themselves deep inside you, and cleverly swivel around their gigantic cocks until you’re a whimpering, blubbering mess, nails digging into whatever you held onto. 
 “Fuck… fuck–!” 
 “You feel us, Y/N?” Namjoon rasps. “Feel how hard you make us?” 
 “Scream, Y/N.” Jungkook’s husky voice enlivens you, even more so his roaming, caressing hand that eventually slides up your back and grips your hair into a ponytail. He leans over and breathes into your ear, his grip firm on your tresses. “Let us hear how we make you feel, fucking scream for us.”
 Exhaling sharply, you swear your limbs shake with pleasure when both men soon neglect their sycnhronisation to merely pound both your holes, fucking you amorously. Jungkook uses his grip on your hair as leverage to hammer your second hole, and Namjoon propels his hips into you from underneath, no doubt chasing his high. 
 “Fucking shit, this is so hot.” He grits, his eyes glued to the way your breasts jostle in his face. “Look at you take it, taking us like our perfect little slut.” 
 “God, and you’re so gorgeous from behind, Y/N.” Jungkook groans, smashing your ass once again as he thrusts into your tightest hole. “You’re so tight here; I’ll fucking come again.” 
 Overwhelmed with their murderous penetration, an orgasm you didn’t even think possible begins sizzling inside you. Namjoon’s cock constantly smashes into your g-spot and Jungkook’s intrusion in such a sensitive area has stars dancing behind your eyes. 
 Your veins explode inside your body when Jungkook reaches around to your front and tucks his fingers into your pussy folds, suddenly ensnaring your clit to rub vigorously at. You falter, now shamelessly crying into Namjoon’s warm neck as your pleasure overwhelms you, white hot flashes of electricity spasming through your bloodstream. 
 You feel dizzy, breathing so hard you swear you’ll pass out. “Fuck, guys… I’m gonna—fuck!”
 “Shit, fucking shit!” Namjoon grits, hammering into your battered pussy. “I’m gonna come, I can’t fucking hold it back.” 
 “God-fucking-dammit, me too. I’ll come inside her if I don’t pull out now.” 
 Both men groan and grunt as they contain themselves, Namjoon brushing your tear-stained cheek and cooing. “We won’t stop until you come, cutie, but can we come inside you? Creampie you like you deserve?” 
 With laboured breaths, you nod, body quivering from exhaustion. “C-cream… me… please.” You beg. “Fill me up… Joon…. Koo…” 
 They don’t need to be told twice, the pair instantly accelerate their paces until you’re entirely obliterated, suddenly feeling your holes hot with bouts of semen. They fuck you through the filling, never allowing their hips to stop moving until another orgasm possesses your body, climaxing with a high-pitched squeal. 
 They slow down, subtly thrusting into your holes to let you ride out your orgasm. You can’t even stay still, collapsing into Namjoon’s chest with a thud. You’re delirious, eyes threatening to fall shut. You faintly detect Namjoon chuckling, his chest rumbling as his fingertips dance across your temple, casting away your messy hair. 
 “Shit, we may have fucked her asleep.” 
 You want to laugh like they do, but your body refuses to move. Flickering your weary eyes up at Namjoon, you meet his gaze that brims with raw adoration. He’s soon joined by Jungkook beside him, who also regards you softly. 
 “Look at her, she’s so cute.” Jungkook praises, feeling his thumb coasts your cheek. 
 “She took a lot; we need to take care of her.” Namjoon declares, motioning to Jungkook. “She’s probably a mess, get the tissues from my bag, JK.” 
 Jungkook nods and locates some of his clothes abandoned on the ground, momentarily disappearing. 
 A sigh of relief escapes your nose once you feel a warm, wet something being gently rubbed through your folds, someone’s fingers also massaging your scalp, threading through your hair. The intimate, somnolent nature of both their care leaves sleep threatening your eyes, ready to drift away. 
 You feel Namjoon laugh, who still cradles your unmoving, naked body over him. “She’s so sleepy, she’s like a kitten.” 
 Jungkook breathes a laugh, too, his careful hands sweeping across your thighs and groins. “She deserves rest.” 
 “We should get her dressed and take her home,” Namjoon suggests, the calming rumble of his voice lulling you into your slumber. “She’s gonna feel this tomorrow.” 
 “Yeah. I’ll get her bottoms, you get her top.” 
 Both men work harmoniously to gently dress you, extremely cautious of your dreary state. You eventually feel yourself pressed against another chest, being held by strong arms—you recognize the scent of Jungkook’s cologne wafting around. 
 “Did you get her things?” 
 “Yup,” You hear Namjoon jangling some keys, perhaps locking the gym. “Lemme look for her address in our messages.” 
 It isn’t long before the vanilla scent of your favourite candle hits your nose, slipping between consciousness and unconsciousness. Nothing alarmed you when you felt the boys enter your room and begin undressing you for the night. Your chest rather felt warm, loved, whole-heartedly full—you trusted them. 
 They knew their way around your home enough to eventually set you in a pair of sleeping shorts and a camisole, tucking you into bed. You swear there’s a set of pillowy lips pressed to your cheek and someone’s fingers sweeping your hair from your face before hearing their departing voices.
 “Alright, let’s head back to ours.” Namjoon whispers.
 “Yeah,” Jungkook agrees. “We should let her sleep.” 
 Willing yourself to move, the thought of them abandoning your room fills you with sorrow. Prying open your eyes, you find a tattooed arm closest to you, latching onto Jungkook’s wrist. 
 Your sleepy tone causes both Namjoon and Jungkook to swivel around, Jungkook gripping your hand back. “Y/N? Are you okay?” 
 Both men furrow their brows, Namjoon stepping towards Jungkook’s side. “Are you sure, Y/N? You don’t want space from us?” 
 Your heart melts thinking they considered such a thing; that perhaps after such elevated levels of intimacy, you’d like some privacy—little did they know that you’ve always been a bit obsessed with their company, and you desire to be smothered by them forever. 
 Eyes softening into pleading orbs, you slide your fingers through Jungkook’s. “Please?” 
 Sweetly smiling, both Namjoon and Jungkook nod—Jungkook running his thumb over the back of your hand and Namjoon smoothing your hair. Both boys don’t waste time in stripping down to more comfortable amounts of clothing, and soon crawling into your bed. 
 Namjoon nuzzles behind you as Jungkook settles in front. You’re sandwiched by them immediately, relaxing when Namjoon encircle your waist and tugs you close, while Jungkook’s arm slips underneath your neck, cradling your head. He keeps your entwined hands connected, too, tangling your legs together. 
 “Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispers, fixing the blanket on you. 
 “Goodnight, cutie.” Namjoon echoes—you reply sleepily to them. 
 “Goodnight, guys.” 
 And with both of them pressing a kiss to your hair, you leave tonight’s escapade to be discussed in the morning. For now, the three of you drift off into oblivion, basking in the serene comfort of each other's arms and warm bodies. 
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4K notes · View notes
personasintro · 5 months
officially yours | jjk
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; you're his and he is yours on the paper – but what is the reality?
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, smut, arranged marriage au, friends to lovers
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, oral sex (f.), unprotected sex
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4k+
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a/n: commissioned 
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The tall modern building is not usually a place you hang around. In fact, you could count on your fingers how many times you've been here. The modern and clean interior never fails to amaze you, but that can be expected from such a prestigious company. It looks like the ones people get to see in movies – it definitely feels different to be inside and see it with your own eyes.
Now you're not a complete stranger to wealth and fortune, but you see it from a completely different side than people would've expected. You weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Even if it's a common assumption people have about you. 
“Welcome, Mrs. Jeon.”
The young receptionist welcomes you as soon as she spots you in a crowd full of working employees. Sometimes you wonder if you stick out so much, or they just know your face so much that they've got no problem recognizing you. Which is odd because you don't hang around in this circle of people very often. 
Mrs. Jeon. 
Even after a year, you feel a mixture of butterflies and oddness when hearing people addressing you like this. At the beginning, it took you quite a long time to get used to this. To hold such a powerful surname. Though, you felt proudness even though you're not sure if you had the right to feel it in the first place. 
Just a reminder that none of this is real.
Do you even deserve to be addressed by this surname that is technically yours only on papers? Morally, you're not so sure. 
A polite greeting makes it past your lips, trying not to squirm at the prying eyes of other people passing by. You're not exactly formally dressed, like every employee is. But you're not an employee. 
“Is my husband in his office?” you ask.
Again. After a year of marriage, you feel like you're letting a lie out of your mouth at addressing someone as your husband. 
The woman remains unbothered and completely clueless to your inner thoughts though. You haven't been doing this for a week, a year is a long time for you to improve your acting skills. 
“Yes, he just finished a meeting ten minutes ago. He's waiting for you.”
Giving her a simple nod and a soft 'thank you', you make your way to the elevators and click on the number of his floor where his office is located. 
It reminds you of the first time you settled on a deal that changed your lives. You've known Jungkook, though you never actually became close friends. There weren't actually many opportunities for you to get to know him better, the only heir to his parents company was too busy getting prepared for the new role and position as a CEO of Jeon industries. Funnily enough, two people with completely different backgrounds, you had some mutual friends where you actually met him.
You clicked, even from the few and very casual conversations you had. He wasn't the overly confident and cocky heir somebody would peg him for. He was grounded (in a way), polite and extremely charming. Though his parents were never strict about who he hangs out with or what he likes to do in his free time, one of the things they would pester him about was the need for him to settle down. It was the only pressure Jungkook always found in his parents.
It's not like he didn't have a choice to decide about his future – at that time the young twenty year old man wanted nothing more than to continue his family business. It's actually something he loves to do. He wasn't forced into it.
But with years passing by, Jungkook's parents would grow impatient and rather concerned about their son's lack of commitment. Random women taking their turns in his bed wasn't his strongest part. 
Naturally, they would start introducing him to their partners' daughters. And despite Jungkook's wildlife and freedom he had, they were nothing like him. Not that he's the romantic type who believes in soulmates and all that stuff, he wouldn't want to marry someone for money or any possible benefits for the company. The company was doing very well on itself and he didn't need to do any arranged marriage. 
He loves his parents to the bone. He is grateful for everything they've done for him – even more how they raised him and never were controlling. Not like his peers experienced in similar situations. 
Jungkook knows many people his age and in a same situation. It was bound for him to meet them, considering how many parties and social gatherings he had to attend, especially after being introduced as the new CEO. That's when he realized, after hearing his peers' struggles, how lucky and fortunate he is. 
So when his parents wouldn't let go of the topic of commitment and marriage, it was like a huge slap to his face. No matter what he would do or say, it wouldn't change their minds and eventually, Jungkook found himself stuck.
And that's when you came into the picture. 
The first time you heard his plan, you called him insane. You laughed into his face and told him you don't need anything he's offering you. Though Jungkook assured you he doesn't think of you as someone who needs or wants his money, he was more than willing to help you financially. He told you he would take care of you – something you found offending at first. 
Why would you need a man to take care of you? 
You are completely capable of taking care of yourself. You don't need any Jeon Jungkook to bathe you in wealth and luxury. 
But just like Jungkook – you're a loving daughter who would do anything for her parents. Well, unlike Jungkook, you weren't lucky enough to be growing up with two loving parents. 
The money Jungkook offered you by simply saying 'yes' would take care of any family member. Jungkook was no stranger, he still isn't. And after weighing the pros and cons for many sleepless nights, you found yourself nodding to his insane plan. 
Nobody could know. Rule number one.
The marriage would last for one year. It's the reason why you agreed to it in the first place. You wouldn't be bound to a man based on an arranged marriage for the rest of your life. You want your own family, kids, to fall in love. And a year didn't seem like a long time.
Jungkook made sure it didn't.
Whenever he would have free time, he would take you to places you would never dream about seeing. Countless vacations, trips and activities you would never be able to experience if it wasn't for him. And for that you will be grateful for the rest of your life.
To not make anyone suspicious, you agreed not to mess around with other people. Though, this particular deal wasn't settled at the beginning. It happened naturally. You couldn't risk being seen with other people, no matter how much you would try to hide it.
You will be watched, it was one of the things Jungkook was preparing you for.
And to be honest, you didn't want to go behind Jungkook's back, no matter how fake this marriage was. It's just a year, you will be fine. 
But having to share a bedroom, and two young people who find each other attractive, it didn't take long for you to succumb yourselves to your desires. There was nothing wrong about sleeping together, you were practically married.
You've found yourselves in a healthy and good relationship where two people became close friends. Even if the marriage is fake. The sex is mindblowing, so none of you actually miss the thrill of hooking up with anyone else. For the first time, Jungkook is committed, even though it's not exactly the way his parents think it is. 
And there he is. 
After politely knocking on the door and hearing his voice to invite you in, you open the door and find him sitting behind his desk. He looks fine as always, a few buttons unbuttoned to show how comfortable he allows himself to feel after a two hours long meeting. His suit is draped over the chair while he's slouched on the chair with a pen twirling between his long fingers.
“No lunch this time?” he asks, tilting his brow at you when he sees your empty hands.
You crack a smile, making your way to his desk while you sit on the small white leather couches. “Sorry, came straight from work.”
“It's fine,” he chuckles, “I'm only joking. How's the new employee?”
One of your dreams was to open your business. Jungkook helped you every step of the way, supported you in more ways than financially, while he helped to make your final decision. You've decided to own a clothing brand where you connected with amazing designers who helped to make your dream come true. Two years ago, you didn't even know it was something you'd like to do. 
Opening your e-shop has been absolutely amazing, making sure any body type is able to find their size. It's actually very rare in Korea to do that and you love to bring something new to the table. Jungkook liked the idea. You invested everything from your previous job to this project of yours. Living with Jungkook and not having to worry about any bills allowed you to freely focus and invest in your business. Sure, Jungkook must've helped but he was more than happy to do so. 
With your help, he got his parents off his back. 
After a year, he would tell them you decided to break it off. He's sure they won't pressure him into any other relationship or marriage after the divorce. If they do, he will handle it in a different way.
“He's great,” you smile, “Actually does the job this time, compared to the last one.” 
Jungkook laughs a little, knowing how tense you've been about this one particular employee who wasn't doing his job. Jungkook encouraged you to take care of it, and showed you you have to think about your business more than people's hearts. Especially to someone who's getting paid and not doing their job. 
Jungkook has been your guide from day one. A huge help.
“Great,” he nods, twirling the pen a few times before he tosses it on his desk. “I'm getting off work earlier today, should be home at six. Is that alright?” 
He sounds so gentle, the way he says home makes your heart squeeze.
“Yeah, sure.” you tell him. 
You've made plans for tonight, have been preparing yourself to talk to him about your deal. It's been a year and three months after your marriage, yet it's not ending and he has never brought this topic up.
“I'm meeting Jungseok in an hour, then I'm going home to prepare dinner for us.” you inform him, completely missing the way Jungkook's face drops at the mention of your close friend.
You've met him during your marriage, though there were no boundaries crossed, the man seemed to show an awful interest in a married woman. The worst thing about it is that he can't really say anything about it because technically, you're not really his. He knows you're not having anything serious with the mentioned man, though he's aware of your deal.
And he doesn't like any of it. 
“Oh, I didn't know.” he tries to say lightly, hating how tight his throat suddenly feels. 
“Ah, he texted me this morning. We haven't seen each other for a while now, we usually just text.” 
Oh, like that's not enough.
The amount of times the man decided to suddenly text you is hilarious. Fuck, he would even call when Jungkook was balls deep inside you and he actually feared you will pick up the call, instead of finishing what you had going on. Luckily, that never happened but it pissed Jungkook to the core. 
“Mhm,” he hums, scratching his chin. “Well, I've got one last meeting but that shouldn't take long.”
You both talk for a moment, catching up with each other's day before you discuss the dinner plans. Jungkook sees you're a little on edge these days and though he thinks he knows why, there's this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
In the middle of your giggling, you're interrupted by a gentle knock from Jungkook's assistant, informing him of his meeting. 
However, he doesn't go to the meeting board room like he usually does, he actually invites the person to his office. And when that person is someone you've grown to know, someone very well-known in the CEO community, you do everything in your power to be polite and welcoming. 
She's special partner, even you can see that and you know zero fuck about Jungkook's business. He treats her differently.
He welcomes her with a warm smile and of course, you're forced to bid goodbye to your husband as you part your ways. The kiss you and Jungkook share feels great, especially with her eyes on you two.
And you know you're petty.
But it seems to be the least of your worries because tonight, you might end everything you and Jungkook settled on. But it's only fair because in the end – that was the deal. 
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You should've known it would end up like this. 
But how could you? 
Could you have really known? 
The dinner was delicious. Just the two of you like every other evening. Talking, laughing, smiling…
Until you brought up your fake marriage. 
“It's because of him, isn't it?” Jungkook chuckles bitterly, throwing a tantrum like a little kid while you gape at him completely stunned.
Out of all responses, you never expected him to get so… upset over something he came up with. 
“What?” You find your voice, breathing out confusingly. “This has nothing to do with him.”
“Oh, please.” he scoffs, turning away from you to grip the kitchen's counter. “You always text, you even meet him during your lunch breaks.”
All of that is true. Well, you don't always text with him. And you want to point that out, but something stops you and justifying your relationship with Jungkook seems like a bigger priority.
“Jungkook, this marriage is fake.” you inform him as if he didn't know. 
You're confused. 
His shoulders tense, knuckles whiten from how tightly he's gripping the expensive marble counter. 
“All of it has been fake then?” he asks, still not facing you which starts to worry you for some reason. 
You haven't seen Jungkook acting like this. Upset, maybe a little. Not in the mood? Rarely but it happened. But this time you're actually left totally confused. 
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, Y/N,” he chuckles, shaking his head slightly as he slowly turns around. 
You're met with a pained expression, a single look at his face causing you to feel a sting in your heart.
“I know we started this as an arrangement, a convenience for both of us… but is that all it's been for you all this time?” he asks, slowly stepping closer to your distraught form. 
“No,” he says, “Answer me.”
And then he stands right in front of you, his entire figure hovering over you as if you were the littlest thing in the room. Like you're this little lost girl – not the confident woman you've grown to be. 
“Do you want this divorce?”
Do you want it? 
What is he even asking?
“That was the deal.” you remind him silently as he presses his lips tightly. 
He doesn't look pleased with your response but you can't bring yourself to say something more. 
“So, what? We get divorce and then you're going to him?”
“Why do you keep bringing him into this?” you ask, brows scrunching as Jungkook clenches his jaw. “Are you jealous?”
“If I was?”
That shuts you up for a minute, eyes widening. Jungkook never really had a reason to be jealous, not that you were together in reality. But you had each other – none of you messed around with other people.
“There's nothing going on between me and him. Never will.” you whisper, gasping when Jungkook suddenly cups one side of your face with his big palm. 
He presses his forehead against yours, breathing slowly and calmly as if his heart wasn't about to explode.
“Give me a chance.”
“A chance?” you whisper.
“Yes,” he says, “To prove to you that this could work.”
“I love you Y/N, don't you get it?” he suddenly exclaims, pushing himself off you while he rubs his forehead in frustration. 
“But what? I can't?”
Even being frustrated, he looks handsome as ever. His hair is getting too long, almost always falling to his eyes and hiding the beautiful color in them. 
“I didn't say that.”
That makes him whine. He actually whines – like all the times he has done it when he was frustrated. You would always giggle, finding him adorable for acting like a little kid when he's a whole grown-ass man, a successful and well-known CEO at that. It's one of the things you appreciate about him. 
Looking at him, you realize the three words he confessed to you in the midst of his frustration. It starts to kick in and your eyes widen again.
You might look fine, maybe a little shaken up but fine, but this isn't any easier for you. You've been thinking about every single word you would say, replaying different scenarios every free second you had. You don't know what the afterlife is after Jungkook. In all honesty, you aren't keen to find out. But you had to do this. 
To protect yourself and your heart.
You could go on and on with this for who knows how long. You like Jungkook's company and hearing him confessing his true feelings to you, which is still a bit shocking to you, you might actually feel the same. You've been so in denial, for the longest time actually.
“Do you really love me?” You find yourself asking. 
Jungkook's cheeks redden and he does the typical Jungkook thing when he is nervous. He scratches his ear and avoids your gaze. 
“Isn't that what I said?” he mutters.
You turn your back to him, tracing your shaking fingers over your lips. 
“Talk to me please.” he suddenly whines after a minute of silence. 
Just as you're about to turn around, your back is pressed against Jungkook's chest as you gasp. Jungkook wraps you in a back hug, lips touching the top of your head. 
“I don't want to lose you.” he confesses shyly. The frustrated and upset Jungkook is long gone.
Your heart melts, moving your body into action as you turn around. For a second, Jungkook looks scared you're trying to pry his hands off you to get away from him. But in reality you offer him the sweetest smile. Your hands find his ones as you grip them tight. 
“I… I don't want divorce.” you confess. 
“But you brought it up.”
“Simply because that was our deal. I was scared you're gonna bring it up and it's going to be too late for me. I didn't know what I felt… but hearing you–I love you too.”
Jungkook gasps, searching your face frantically as if you just pulled the biggest prank on him. 
“You do?” 
“Yes. I don't want anyone else, Jungkook.” you admit.
And then his face breaks into the biggest smile, your own soon cupped by his large hands as he gives you a big kiss. You kiss him back, squeezing his wrists because you need to feel him. You need to know he's not going anywhere. He's right where he is supposed to be. 
And so are you. 
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“Yes, right there!” 
The sound of crashing waves from the outside is a white noise, no longer properly acknowledged as you barely recognize your own voice and the desperation behind it.
“Jungkook, please, just fuck me.” you whine, raising your hips off the mattress to meet his hungry mouth.
He lifts his head up from between your thighs, lips completely glistening and wet as he frowns. “But I wanna eat you out first.” he whines this time and while your heart does the weird jump it always does when it comes to him, you find yourself smiling his way. 
“There is enough time for that. Please. I need to feel you.” you plead with him.
He's thinking about it. You see the uncertainty on his face and while he loves to go down on you, he can't disobey his wife who's pleading so nicely for him.
Your body aches from your previous activities. You had eight hours (precisely) to recover when you fell asleep in the arms of the man you love. Your husband. It still gives you the same ticklish feeling in your chest and the pit of your stomach but this time, it's actually true. It's not official on the papers but in your heart too. Ah, god… it sounds so cheesy but all you want to do is to giggle like a teenage girl about how much in love you are with this man.
He stares at you with those doe eyes, still wearing the ponytail he made to wear while working out. But you messed up his plans. Flattered those pretty eyelashes at him and the most angelic smile, sheets sliding off your naked and marked body.
Oh, how many times Jungkook made love to you because you felt insecure. He never knew you feel that way about yourself – about the body he loves and wouldn't change for anything. Because it's you. 
You love this man so much that you have to show him. Now it's your turn.
You get on top of him, just how he loves and enjoys having you. Letting him enter you for what seems like the hundredth time over these past seven days, you both moan in pleasure. He holds you close to him, letting you take the charge as he occasionally thrusts his hips into you. The pleasure increases with each minute and you grow weaker for this man.
Bodies becoming one, the sweet “I love you's” are exchanged in breathless moans.
“I love you so much,” Jungkook moans into your ear, your walls tightening around him. “My sweet love. My angel.” 
This is your second anniversary. Technically your first one where you truly celebrate your marriage, making love all day long. And after so many nights of keeping thing adventurous and fun, letting Jungkook to fuck you into the mattress and everywhere in the vila he rented for this special occasion, making love just feels right. 
You both come together in a record time.
Jungkook fills you up like many times before, the sensation making your legs buckle. You calm down in one another's hold, Jungkook's strong arms around you as he peppers kisses all over the side of your face. 
“I was thinking.” Jungkook starts.
“Hey!” he laughs, shifting on his spot as you finally lay down next to him, ear pressed against his chest where you hear his heartbeat. “How about we start a family?”
“What?” you gasp, lifting your head immediately to look at him as he gives you a shy grin. 
“I know we're together for one year, officially, but I've been thinking about our future and–”
You shut him up with a kiss to his surprised lips while he melts, relaxing under your touch. 
“Yes?” he squeals, “Just like that? Yes? I didn't even tell you the speech I prepared.” 
You giggle, “You can tell me later.” you assure him as he chuckles.
“So? Are we gonna do it? Us? Parents?”
You giggle how out of his element he seems to be. It makes you love him even more as you caress his chest before you stare deeply into his soft brown eyes. You brush a few of his hair off his face and send him another angelic smile. 
“I can't wait to have your baby, Mr. Jeon.”
Jungkook laughs, throwing his head back before he looks at you all lovingly, cupping your cheek. 
“I was afraid you would never say it, Mrs. Jeon.”
4K notes · View notes
starshapedkookie · 6 months
At the End of the Day
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summary: You and Jungkook have been best friends for 8 years, going through absolute hell and back together. After senior year of high school, you and Jungkook began a tradition of taking annual vacations together during the summer months. This summer is no different, with you and Jungkook celebrating graduating college just a couple months prior. You're set to move to NYC after the summer, with you and Jungkook soaking in the sun and as many moments as you can together. You'd think nothing could ever tear your friendship apart with him, but when you've sat on the beach for too many days in a row watching him surf, you can't help but wonder - when did your best friend get so hot?
➢ pairing: jungkook x female reader
➢ genre: high school friends to lovers, ex-baseball player jungkook, beach/vacation au, fluff, smut, a little angst
➢ warnings: language, angst, use of edibles, drinking, graphic depictions of smut (fingering, fem. receiving oral, light choking, dom-ish(?) jungkook, protected sex, obscene use of term baby) also i know that in the little mood board i created, the girl is a teeny white girl & i don't want to alienate any of my poc readers at all - i just thought these pics fit the vibe so take them with a grain of salt 😊
➢ word count: 13.3 k
➢ mini playlist: at the end of the day by wallows, satellite, late night talking, carolina by harry styles, no angel by beyonce, ICE (we should do drugs) by labrinth, unusual you by britney spears
posting this in honor of BTS' 9th anniversary. i think i will be sad about their hiatus for the next few days, but i know amazing things are coming for them. bts has saved me more than anyone could imagine - and this story feels like a love letter to jungkook. i hope you all enjoy.
You’re secretly watching him through your sunglasses, bottom lip tucked between your teeth in your observation. The sun’s rays are hot and you should probably reapply your sunscreen, but you can’t budge in your chair. From this distance, he probably thinks your eyes are still focused on the open book in your lap but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 
You’re not exactly sure when Jeon Jungkook became so sexy. It was definitely a slow burn of growth and puberty overtime, still shocked that your best friend of 8 years looked like this now. Muscles covering his body; leaned out and defined just enough. His hair cut immaculately after a few rough stints of trying to grow it long the last two years of college. Multiple piercings in his ears and you can’t even get started on the eyebrow and lip piercing he’s gotten in the last six months. Tattoos—god his fucking tattoos—covering the entirety of his right arm; shoulder to hand. The only thing that remained the same about him was his goofy personality and lame attempts he called jokes. 
When you had first met Jungkook, he was 15 and you were 14, only a few months younger than him. High school orientation is where you met to be exact. Perhaps out of privilege, both of you ended up at the same private high school—nationally ranked for its academics and sports. It’s not hard to guess what you were there for and what he was there. Jungkook was one of the shyest people you had ever met at the time. You’d later find out that he was scouted by the high school’s baseball coaches to join the program. He was skinny like a tree branch, had a black bowl cut, and a nose too big for his face. You don’t know exactly why the two of you ended up becoming best friends but either way, you were grateful that he was in your life. 
It’s just now, your friend just happens to be insanely hot and more confident than ever. Like you’ve said, you’re not sure when this transformation happened or how you were able to ignore it for so long, but goddamn—
You quickly shift your gaze away from Jungkook as he begins to make his way back to your chairs from the water. Your focus goes back to the pages of your book—a contemporary beach romance—very fitting for your vacation to the beach this year. Jungkook makes his appearance as you’re adjusting your sunglasses, setting down his surfboard on the sand with a thump—a hobby he’s picked up in the last couple years. 
You bring a hand up to further block the sun as you smile up at him, “How’s the water?” You ask. 
A playful smirk slowly spreads across his face and you soon regret your words when he leans over you, shaking his head of hair like a dog. 
“Jungkook! Quit it!” You yelp at him when the cold water its your skin, holding your book out to protect its precious pages. He laughs, clearly proud of himself—you having to make a conscious effort to ignore how his abdominals contract with each suck in of his breath. 
“It’s alright, waves are pretty easy today,” he says running a hand through his wet hair to get his bangs out of his face.
“Just be careful out there, please,” you tell him like it’s a warning. 
“Yeah yeah, I know,” he pauses as he takes a long drink of water. “How’s the book?” He asks as he sits down in the chair beside you, throwing on his pair of sunglasses. 
You gulp, almost not even hearing his question. 
“It’s cute,” you say, book marking your page and setting it down on the towel that’s between you two, “Kind of repetitive though.” 
He nods once before looking away from you, outstretched beneath the sun, “All the books you read are the same,” he chuckles, shoving his feet into the sand. 
You narrow your eyes at him even though he can’t see you behind your shades, “I’d beg to differ,” you tell him, “Just because I like romances with happy endings doesn’t mean they’re all the same,” you defend yourself. 
He glances at you, a smile playing on his lips, “Sure.” 
“Fuck you Jeon, when’s the last time you’ve even read a book?” You challenge, “The last textbook you ever had to read in college?” 
He makes a hum in not-so deep thought, “Probably,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes with a laugh escaping your lips. Though Jungkook doesn’t voice it, he likes hearing you laugh. “This reminds me of the first trip we took,” he adds in. 
You hum in agreement, a small smile forming across your face. 
Both of you then lay in silence as you pick up your book again, soaking up the sun and sound of waves crashing a few hundred yards away from you. Silence is never awkward between you two. It hasn’t been for years at this point. You enjoy his company enough that there’s no need to talk to each other constantly. You know everything about him and he knows everything about you—minus the minuscule crush you’ve developed for him overtime. It’s innocent really; Jungkook was your best friend, funny, attractive, and you talk to him nearly everyday. It would be abnormal if you didn’t feel a twinge of something beyond friendship with him occasionally. 
At least, if you tell yourself that enough; you’d hope it would be true. 
As you peak at him again over your sunglasses, he’s closed his eyes in relaxation, and you begin to think about the journey that’s led you to this very moment. 
After you and Jungkook made it through high school, both of you happened to receive scholarships to the same university in the city. You on a nearly full-ride academic scholarship and him on baseball scholarship. Though right before both of you shipped yourselves off to university, you two decided to take an unplanned long, beach weekend trip back to his home in Busan. It took quite a bit of convincing for your parents to ultimately let you go on a trip with just Jungkook alone. Though after Mr. and Mrs. Jeon explained that they had two extra bedrooms in their beach house and you two were ensured you had to check in with whatever you decided to do, your parents caved. You’re not even sure you and Jungkook would call it a vacation now, but at the time, it was so fun. So fun in fact that both of you decided after that trip, you two would continue to take summer trips together after the school year ended. 
Throughout your semesters at university, both of you worked part-time jobs despite your busy schedules to save up for your trips. Jungkook usually worked more hours in the Fall, given his baseball schedule in the Spring was more demanding. Yet you two somehow always made it work. The year after freshman year, the two of you went to Seoraken National Park for five days, hiking and taking multiple dips in the hot springs. After sophomore year, you both decided to save a little more and fly to Tokyo, though staying in the absolute most-dirt cheap hotel you could possibly find. 
It’s after this summer where Jungkook’s life completely fell apart—every time you look at the scar on his knee, a chill is still sent down your spine. You remember the day so vividly—an open scrimmage in the Fall with the rival university in the city. Of course, you went to support Jungkook with your roommate Lisa, excited to see Jungkook officially play as captain—an unheard of accomplishment for a junior on the team. You’ll never forget the scream he yelled out as soon as he slid into the home plate, the opposing catchers cleat getting twisted up under Jungkook’s knee. He rolled onto his side, clutching his leg in agonizing pain as the crowd watched in shock. 
Jungkook had torn his ACL and MCL, as well as multiple smaller ligaments and muscles in the surrounding area of his right knee. In a fucking scrimmage, he would say through anger, frustration, and tears. The injury was career ending and that was the only time you’d ever seen Jungkook cry in your years of friendship. Jungkook had gone from someone who was expecting to be drafted in the first or second round, to someone who had lost their baseball scholarship and a fucked up knee for the rest of his life. Jungkook almost didn’t even finish school after that, though through the pressure of his parents and you, he walked across the graduation stage with you less than two months ago. You were proud him, star baseball player or not, though you know it’s something he still struggles with to this day even if he doesn’t voice it. 
After Jungkook’s knee had healed through physical therapy and other treatments, he ended up working more hours and working with little league teams in the city for extra money. By the end of the Spring semester, both of you had saved up enough money to where it was feasible to pretty much go wherever you wanted. You settled on flying to Europe, doing a two week excursion that was exhausting—but worth every penny you spent. There had been some squabble on that trip between the two of you and a third party, but the last thing you wanted was to think about that. 
Now you’re sat on Jeju Island with him, enjoying every moment you can get with your best friend before your life changes forever. Through countless hours of working, volunteering, and two internships, you had landed a dream job of being an editor in New York City. You weren’t due to move until the Fall, but the prospect of not seeing your friends and family made you extremely sad. It’s also why you’ve realized that whatever feelings you’ve harbored for Jungkook, must be kept secret deep within your body. It wasn’t reasonable to act upon them when you would be leaving—you wouldn’t ruin your friendship and leave Jungkook here in that way. 
“Earth to Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice knocks you out of your long reverie. You hadn’t even read a full page of your book as it’s still on the page you folded in the corner earlier. 
“W-what? Sorry,” you snap out of it, turning to him as you put your sunglasses on your head. 
“I said do you wanna head up soon? Make some dinner? Watch a movie tonight or something?” He asks. Your heart strings pull at the domesticity and you’re nodding before you even speak. 
“Yeah,” your expression is soft, “Though you’re in charge of the cooking tonight. I’ve done it the past two nights,” you warn him. 
He smirks, digging around his beach bag for his t-shirt to pull on, “Fine. Only if I get to pick the movie we watch.”
“Hey! That’s not fair!” You pout. After he pulls his shirt on—which you’re thankful for—he reaches over to pinch your thigh in retaliation. You jerk in reaction, “Asshole.” 
He laughs again, both of you beginning to pack up your things. Though you don’t voice it, you love hearing his laugh. 
Jungkook prepares a small array of yummy dishes—tteokbokki, a chicken stir fry, cucumber salad, and of course a side of kimchi. Neither one of you had been to the store since you two arrived to the island on Sunday, so there wasn’t much else to work with now on Friday. You make a mental note to create a new list and go again tomorrow, still having another week of your two week trip. The cottage AirBnB was small but had everything you two needed for the vacation. A kitchen, dining room, living room with a pullout couch (that wasn’t being utilized), a bedroom with a king bed which even had a small balcony that overlooked the beach. You definitely lucked out in terms of booking the AirBnB on the quieter side of the island, having most of the beach to yourselves the last few days. 
“Excuse me?” You’re laughing as you look at Jungkook dumbfounded from his words. 
His mouth turns up in the right corner as he smiles, “You heard me,” he remarks, “We should do drugs.” 
He carries on his task of drying the pan he used for the stir fry, looking at you with a kink in his pierced eyebrow. You narrow your eyes at him, leaning against the counter as you watch him, fighting your own smile. 
“And where are you going to find drugs on this island?” You say pointedly. 
“Sweetheart, you know I have connections,” he retorts back, putting the pan back into his respectful cabinet. If there was another thing that Jungkook did to turn you on; his cleanliness. He was the most organized man you had ever met—unsure if he was actually part of the male species given the track record of your other guy friends. He was cleaner and more organized than you most of the time. 
“You’re ridiculous Jeon,” your roll your eyes, “Can I trust said drugs?” 
His smirk spreads even wider, knowing that he’s got you now. 
“Of course, Yoongi wouldn’t sell me anything sketchy,” he says quickly leaving the kitchen. You have no idea who this Yoongi guy is, but you go along with it. You cross your arms as you lean against the counter, your eyes drifting off to the beautiful sunset over the water. You felt lucky to spend your time like this with Jungkook. He quickly comes back, a plastic bag in hand. 
“What is it?” You ask him curiously. 
“It’s a chocolate chip cookie edible,” he pauses, holding up the bag as he observes it, “Think of it as a two for one; dessert and a high.” 
You let out a laugh through your nose, grabbing the bag from him as you inspect it from the outside. As with any edible, it looks just like a normal cookie. You purse your lips, thinking about it for a moment. You hadn’t got high in awhile—since right before graduation actually. You and your roommates shared a nasty bong, with Lisa ultimately keeping it after you all moved out. You and Jungkook had your fair share of getting high together, whether it be at parties at the baseball house or his apartment on Sundays with his roommate Taehyung. 
You open the bag, sniffing it as Jungkook watches you, clearly amused. You break off a small piece of the cookie, plopping it into your mouth knowing it will take at least an hour for you to start to feel the effects of it. It tastes good, although there’s still that tinge of THC that never goes away fully with baked edibles. 
You walk up to Jungkook, shoving the bag into his chest, “I’m going to shower,” you announce. He nods, biting his lip as you walk away from him, his throat feeling slightly clogged. He watches your frame as you disappear into the bathroom, calling after you quickly. 
“Don’t use all the hot water!” He says from the kitchen, digging in the bag to take out his own piece of the cookie. Maybe this would help him clear his head from you. 
You’re giggling uncontrollably as you scroll through your phone, small cackles coming from you lips occasionally. 
“Y/N stop! Give me that!” Jungkook reaches over, attempting to take your phone away from you, but his own laughter taking control. 
You and Jungkook had decided to forgo the movie, opting to enjoy the balcony attached to the bedroom. It was well past 10 PM now, the sun fully set and a couple small candles and the lamps from the bedroom the only light sources. For whatever reason, both of you had been on a path of looking at old pictures of each other, you hysterically laughing at one of them from high school when both of you decided to go to the school dance together as friends. You were mainly laughing at the way he styled his hair, even then at 16 you thought it was ridiculous. 
“I don’t even know why you still have that picture,” he mutters in defeat on his side of the couch. 
You furrow your eyebrows at him as you push his leg with your foot. He’s sat up, right leg underneath him, head resting on his hand as he looks at you. You’re laying on your back, legs outstretched over his lap. 
“Why wouldn’t I?” You push, “I think I have every known picture of you thanks to your brother.” 
It’s the truth—you had more baby pictures of Jungkook on your phone than you did of yourself. He was just too damn cute and awkward. You and Jungkook’s older brother had a good relationship throughout the years, Junghyun, always making sure to send you gems of your best friend when he found them. They looked similar, though Jungkook pulled more features from his dad, including the big eyes and big nose, whereas Junghyun looked more like their mother. 
“God I can’t stand him,” he groans running a hand through his freshly dried and showered hair. He’s wearing a pair of sweatshorts and a t-shirt, his tattoos disappearing in the darkness. You’re wearing a tank top and sweatpants, feeling much better since your shower, even better since your high has kicked in. 
“This was a good idea,” you completely change the subject, not even really sure of your own words. 
He smiles at you, “I’m full of good ideas Y/N.” 
His smile make your heart thump, unable to keep your mind from going there. Your intrusive thoughts only took over when you were intoxicated. You stare at his lips a little too long before you look at your phone to change the song playing lowly from Jungkook’s bluetooth speaker. 
The thing about being friends with someone of the opposite species for so long—it’s that your friends could barely hold themselves from being shitheads sometimes. It was sophomore year—right before Jungkook’s accident—when you were at one of the many baseball parties you attended throughout college. While you were drunk, you knew that succumbing to truth or dare was your own doing. You should have seen it coming from a mile away when a mutual friend and teammate of Jungkook’s—Park Jimin—dared you to kiss him. If you had been more sober, you probably would have just taken the bitch cup and moved on with your life. Though being drunk and a little too curious after your years of friendship with Jungkook, you turned to him and pressed your lips against his. He—along with the entire group seemed taken aback at your actions—hearing whoops and ooo’s during the kiss.
Neither you nor Jungkook spoke about that after the party. It was almost as if it had never happened. It didn’t bother you too much given you were drunk and being silly. It was a brief kiss, no tongue, but enough to satiate your curiosity. At least at that point in time. Now, your curiosity was getting the best of you in other feats—though you’ve sworn to yourself you wouldn’t ever cross that line. 
“Do you ever think about life in like, ten years?” Jungkook suddenly asks, his gaze off to the distance over the balcony. From the cottage, you could faintly hear waves still crashing. 
“Hm,” you mumble, “I guess? I don’t know…” 
He looks over at you, “I do,” he says simply. 
“What does the Jeon Jungkook think about then?” You press, deciding to sit up some on the couch. You grab a pillow to support your back as you settle against the armrest of the couch. 
“I think about being married, having kids, that sorta thing,” his voice is low, yet serious. Through your hazy gaze, you bite your lip nervously.
“That’s very adult of you,” you try to lighten the mood with a giggle. He doesn’t laugh, only returning a fainted smile. 
“Do you not?” He looks away from you sounding rushed and little nervous, picking at loose skin along his cuticles. 
You suddenly feel a lump form in your throat, pulse uneasy, anxiety rises in your veins. Of course you did. 
“I mean yeah,” you offer weakly, “I guess I’ve just always been more concerned with the present,” you tell him honestly. 
He nods, fully understanding—it’s how he used to think too until his accident. He never truly had to put much thought into his future until that day on the field changed his entire life. His future was set and then suddenly it wasn’t. Now, he worries about his future everyday and where life is going to take him. He thought he was going to play professional ball until his thirties, making enough money that he’d never have to worry about a real job. Turns out, life had other things in store for Jungkook. And with you leaving thousands of miles away; his life really wasn’t panning out how he thought. 
“I like the idea of marriage you know?” He says with a hidden adoration in his tone. You find yourself softly smiling at him. “Like just having that one person for you, sharing a life together, does that sound stupid?” he exhales heavily after his question. 
You quickly shake your head, “Not at all,” you say pulling your legs to sit criss-cross, “We’ll all get there one day.. I feel like our paths are set for us.” 
He shrugs, feeling a little pessimistic, “I don’t know,” he breathes heavily, “I thought everything was going to work out a certain way… but I don’t know anymore,” he sounds defeated and sad. You look at him concerned, though you’re sure he’s just spitting high word vomit. You know a lot about Jungkook, but you’ve never heard him speak of such things—except during his relationship with Park Chaeyoung. 
Chaeyoung was Jungkook’s first serious relationship in the time span you’d known him. They met at the end of sophomore year, but only officially began dating at the beginning of junior year. While Chaeyoung was beautiful and smart enough to make you feel insecure, you weren’t her biggest fan. She kept her distance from you and you don’t know if you could exactly blame her. You were Jungkook’s best friend who happened to be a female. You want to say if you were in her shoes that you wouldn’t care who was Jungkook’s best friend, but you’re not sure could 100% say that. 
You first realized that Chaeyoung wasn’t particularly fond of you when you met Jungkook at the hospital after his accident; waiting to confirm his surgery date and time. Even though Jungkook didn’t want you to go, you were the one that actually ended up leaving to not make Chaeyoung uncomfortable. Throughout the rest of junior year, tension built between you and Chaeyoung, and some distance grew between you and Jungkook. You’re sure that she never knew about the kiss you two had shared the year before; she would have freaked the hell out. 
Jungkook was in love with Chaeyoung though. He fell hard and he fell fast—giving all of his love and extra time to her. You can vividly remember him talking about how he thought she could be the one. He was a hopeless romantic at heart but it’s when Chaeyoung told him he couldn’t go on the Europe trip you two had been planning for months that he finally stood up to her. It didn’t go over well, with her jealously taking over to the point where he broke it off with her a couple weeks before you two departed. 
You thought that the trip was going to be good for him to get his mind off her but when they were consistently communicating behind your back, that’s when arguments throughout the two week trip conspired between you and Jungkook. Finally, with four days left of your trip, he decided to stop contact with her and everything between you two only went up again from there. 
Though right here, right now; you can’t help but think his words are about Chaeyoung. You knew that they were acquaintances this past school year and always cordial when they saw each other. You suddenly feel insecure in the dim light, but you plaster a fake smile on your face to rid your mind of Jungkook and his ex.
“Don’t sound so doom and gloom Jungkookie,” you push yourself up and over to him, trying to make him feel better. You sit on your knees up next to him, pinching his left cheek between your fingers. He giggles but you don’t stop, pinching from his cheek to his chin, to his ear. 
“Y/N I swear to god—“ are his last threatening words that you should have taken seriously because it’s not long until you find yourself being tickled to death by him. 
“Jungkook! Stop!” You laugh, trying to fight yourself away from him, but his grip is too strong as he keeps you in place against the couch. You’re kicking your legs to try to get away from him as he attacks your side with his own chuckles filling up the space. To any outsider listening in, it probably sounds like a fucked up murderer situation.
You don’t even realize what’s happened until you open your eyes fully, Jungkook pinning your wrists down, his body hovering on top of yours. He’s stood with one leg on the ground, his bad knee resting between your legs on the couch. It feels like the world has stopped as you stare into each other’s eyes, your breath hitching in your throat. Jungkook has to make a conscious effort to not stare at your cleavage rising up and down as you breath in and out heavily. 
“I-I might go to bed soon,” you say nervously, breaking eye contact with him to unraveling yourself from his grip. He rises as you do to give you space, wiping his hands on his shorts. 
He nods, “Me too,” is all he says. 
You leave the balcony to go brush your teeth and change into your pajamas. Jungkook stays behind to blow out the candles and turn off his speaker, feeling a heaviness between you two now. As he turns the bed down, his own hands are clammy, his high waring off faster than he would like. Both of you had no issue sharing the king bed when you booked the AirBnB a couple months ago, but now he’s fully regretting that decision. When Jungkook comes back from the kitchen with two glasses of water for you both, he finds you already climbing into bed in your cute matching, purple PJ set. 
“Thank you,” you smile at him as he hands you the glass. You take a sip, feeling cotton mouth arise from the edible. 
He climbs into bed soon after, turning off the lamp on his side of the bed encasing both of you in pure darkness. 
“Goodnight Y/N,” are his last words that evening. 
“Night Jungkook,” you say weakly as you’re facing away from him on your side. While you two have already made invisible boundaries when sharing the bed this past week, you make more of a conscious effort than ever to keep space between you two as you both drift off into sleep. 
It’s been a few days since your edible escapades with Jungkook. Both of you have seemingly moved on from the conversations had, the tension that had built up subsiding over the next few days. Now you two are back again at the beach in your normal routine. Jungkook’s just go out in the water from surfing and you’re laying on your tummy, starting the second book of your vacation. You decided to go with something different for you—a thriller about a writer brought in by another author’s husband to finish her books for her as she lies in a coma. Weird. 
You know Jungkook’s back from the water when you feel water droplets scatter across your back. You look up from your book to find Jungkook sat down on his towel beside you, rubbing his right knee. 
“You okay?” You ask him with concern. His major surgery scar is still less than two years old, therefore it’s still quite white and reflective in the sunlight. 
He glances over to you before nodding, “Yeah I’m good, it’s just kind of stiff from surfing on it so much.” 
You can’t help but feel an extreme amount of sadness when you watch him massage his skin. Your resting your chin on your hand as you study him carefully. From the moment you met Jungkook, baseball was his complete identity. It’s why people came up to him even if he didn’t want the attention. It’s what taught him discipline and hard work ethic. It’s what made him happy. The fact it was taken away from him so quickly terrifies you. You can’t even imagine the internal battles he’s had ever since that fateful day. 
“Swim with me?” He suddenly asks. 
Through the top of your sunglasses you glare at him, a groan leaving your mouth, “Jungkook you know how much I hate swimming in the ocean.” 
He rolls his eyes at the dramatics, “Y/N there aren’t sharks in this part of the ocean,” he laughs. 
You close your book not wanting to lose your place, “You don’t know that!” You retort. 
He laughs again, this time ruffling your hair slightly, “I’ll protect you…” he trails off, a small pout crossing his features, “Plus it’ll make this feel better,” he’s referring to his knee. 
Ugh, he really knew how to convince you. 
You then agree, both getting up at the same time. You adjust your bikini to which Jungkook stares shamelessly. Your skin goes hot and you pretend you don’t see him doing so. You walk side by side to the water, a yelp leaving your lips when you feel how cold it is. 
“Fuck Jungkook! It’s cold!” You whine as he continues his descent deeper. You’ve stopped at where the water hits your ankles, he’s at his knees. 
“C’mon princess,” he whines back and the nickname gives you butterflies, “I’ll drag your ass in here if you don’t move woman!” 
“Ugh,” you spit, “I’m coming,” you slowly walk towards him as he continues to walk deeper until he’s about to his chest, finally letting himself float against the waves after he gets over where they break. 
“Y/N,” he says threateningly as you’ve stopped where the water hits your waist.
“Jungkook,” you respond but suddenly your heart sinks when he dips his body below water, disappearing beneath the surface. Your eyes widen as you look around paranoid. You know exactly what he’s up to. Though you’re expecting it, you have no time to brace yourself when Jungkook has suddenly grabbed your leg, pulling you beneath the water. You’re screaming, bubbles escaping your mouth until you reach the surface. 
Jungkook has broken the water only a few inches from you as he laughs loudly, tipping his head bad. You push water towards his face, anger filling your body. 
“Fuck you Jungkook!” You yell, his continuous laughter pissing you off even more. 
You launch at him in the water, hiking yourself up onto his back as punishment. You wrap your legs around his torso and he adjusts you comfortably. If he was going to protect you, he really was going to protect you. 
“I really hate you sometimes,” you mutter into his ear, his back rumbling against your chest as he chuckles. 
“You love me,” he retorts. 
You really do. 
“See this isn’t too bad,” he then says looking over his shoulder to meet your gaze. 
“We’re sitting ducks Jungkook,” you mumble, eyes looking around the water, still slightly paranoid. There’s a few other people in the water and a couple surfers which makes you feel a little better. 
“It’s okay to get out of your comfort zone you know,” he raises a brow when you climb off his back, deciding to swim close in front of him. Both of you float with only a few inches between you two, water at your chests. 
“Mhm,” you say sarcastically, “That’s what they all say before they’ve gotten their leg bit off,” you move your arms around to keep you wading. Thankfully it didn’t take long to get used to the chilly water. 
He bites his lip as he watches you with an amused expression. You push away the way it makes you feel. 
“You know that’s why I wanted to be your friend right?” 
You furrow your eyebrows, moving to float on your back. Jungkook being the gentlemen he is, he ends up beside you, his arms giving your back some support in the water as you float. 
“What do you mean?” You ask him. 
You can’t see his expression as you’ve closed your eyes, the sun too bright to keep them open. His fingertips graze your skin every few seconds and you swear it feels like electricity running through your spine. 
“You’ve always been the one to get me out of my comfort zone,” he points out like it’s obvious—though you’ve never had an inkling of this. 
You open one eye at him in a squint, his face a lot closer to yours than you expected, “I don’t think so,” you laugh a little awkwardly as you give up on floating, settling back to your normal swimming position with him in front of you. 
“I wouldn’t lie Y/N,” he laughs in return, “You’ve known me for a long time, you know how fucking weird I used to be.” 
“Hey you weren’t weird,” you defend him, “Just a little awkward and going through puberty.” 
He rolls his eyes, “Fucking weird,” he repeats, “I just mean I’ve never had a friend that’s always pushed me to do things I normally wouldn’t do. Hell just the vacations we’ve taken together is just one example,” he pauses, his next words cutting him a little deep, “I feel like you’re the reason I ever had a life outside of baseball.” 
You bite your lip under the water as you don’t break his heavy eye contact. You’d never realize Jungkook thought that highly of you. It makes you feel giddy on the inside, but also a little sad that you were never that confident in your abilities as a friend. If anything, you thought Jungkook brought you out of your shell more. 
“I’m just a small part of your life Jungkook,” is what you settle on. 
They way his face falls doesn’t go unnoticed, “Trust me,” he pauses beginning a swim back to shore for you to follow him, “You’re a pretty big part Y/N.” 
It’s now Friday, which means you and Jungkook only have one and a half days left of your trip. The thought makes you sad, though you know that it’s not like you wouldn’t be seeing Jungkook afterwards. He lives in the same neighborhood as you for chrissakes. But given the loom of your impending move in a couple months, you couldn’t help but feel a finality of your life here coming soon. 
You and Jungkook had gone out a couple times since being here, though neither of you had fully committed to getting too drunk. You had a feeling though that tonight you were ready to full let loose. Jungkook complimented you as soon as you were ready to leave, sending heat through your body. You were wearing a white two piece set—a small bralette type top with a matching mini-skirt that wrapped around your waist nicely. Your strappy heels gave you some height to Jungkook and you’re sure to any other tourist, you two looked like a couple. 
Jungkook looked absolutely ravishing, the familiar lump of the past couple weeks forming when you laid eyes on him. He was dressed in an extravagant short sleeve button that was a yellow and white along with white pants to tie everything in. You almost laughed one, being you’re 99% sure the shirt is Fendi—how the hell did he afford that?—and two, you’re not sure you’d seen him in anything in sweatpants and t-shirts since graduation. Even then, it took you and Taehyung a lot of convincing for Jungkook to wear dress pants under his cap and gown. 
You and Jungkook had ate dinner at a local sushi bar, getting a couple drinks there to pregame your evening. You don’t know how Jungkook ate and drank so much and keep the figure he had. It had to be genetics; there’s no other way. 
It was now a little past 9 and both of you were feeling drunk—a good drunk—a happy drunk. The bar you two were at was partially outside, with a dance floor and good drinks. You and Jungkook are talking to a couple who also happen to be on vacation. 
“Honeymooning is fun for sure,” the woman says, her words a little slurred, “Are you two honeymooning too?” 
Both you and Jungkook begin to stutter, shaking your heads awkwardly, mumbling your words together. 
“We’re not together,” you manage to get out as you lean against the bar for stability. Jungkook’s stood behind you, his chest touching your shoulder as his arm sits behind your frame protectively. 
The new husband’s eyes widen, “Could’ve fooled me,” he says, “Right honey?” 
“I agree Joon,” she eyes you up and down, clearly shameless as she does so. “Let’s go dance baby!” She suddenly exclaims. The couple—Namjoon and Camille—bid their farewells to you and Jungkook, leaving you two alone again at the bar. 
You suddenly feel a little awkward under the strangers gaze, looking up and over at Jungkook. He’s giving them a straight smile before his eyes watch them walk away, an amused expression filling his eyes as he begins to laugh. 
“You want another drink, honey?” He suddenly asks through a joke and you crack a smile, turning around to playfully push him. You catch a whiff of his scent as you stare at him intently, trying to ignore the deep stir of heat in your tummy. His gaze his vibrant as you take his sunglasses tucked from his shirt and place them over your eyes. 
“If you’re paying Jeon,” you smile at him wickedly. 
Jungkook orders both of you tequila shots, both of your faces scrunching up when you bite the lime for some relief. You have chills running down your spine, trying your best to keep the contents down. 
“We’re going to be hurting tomorrow,” you say, sliding the shot glass back towards the bartender. 
“I don’t even want to think about it,” he groans, suddenly reaching out to grab his phone. It’s buzzing in his hand, “It’s Junghyun,” he looks at you, “I’ll be right back?” 
You nod, telling him you’d be right here. You watch as he walks away from you, a deep exhale escaping you. You’re intoxicated again—intrusive thoughts taking over your brain. You reminiscence over the last two weeks with Jungkook here. He makes you so incredibly happy and you’re sure that if you let yourself, you’d fall deeply in love with him—more than you already are. You’ve been through thick and thin together. You can’t let yourself go there though—it couldn’t happen. The friendship you two had between each other was too important to you. You’re not even sure Jungkook could even feel these feelings towards you. For all you know, he was just talking about his shitty ex the other day. 
Your thoughts are interrupted when suddenly a man appears in front of you. A man that’s not Jungkook. He’s leaning his elbows on the bar as he waits for the bartender to take his order. He gives you a glance and you stare shamelessly. He’s quite attractive, that’s for damn sure. 
“You want a drink sweetheart?” He suddenly asks, the pet name not sounding as good as it does coming from your best friend. 
You find your voice over the music, “I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him knowing if you drink anymore, you’d be crossing the line of fun drunk to a miserable blackout. 
He nods respecting what you’ve said, ordering two shots of whiskey for himself. You look around the bar trying to find Jungkook. It’s loud and crowded, but you haven’t been able to spot him in that ridiculous yellow shirt. You wonder what Junghyun needed that’s taking so long. 
“What’s your name?” The strangers asks you as he turns his body to face yours completely. 
You lean towards him some to save your voice, “Y/N,” you tell him. 
A charming smile spreads across his face, “Well miss Y/N, why is a beautiful girl at this bar alone?” 
You’ve dealt with many men of this caliber, so his words don’t creep you out much. Internally you applaud him for using the term beautiful, and not the typical hot or pretty. 
“I’m not alone,” you tell him. He looks around the area you both are, your point not withstanding, “What’s your name?” You change the subject. 
He downs his second shot of whiskey, “Jackson. It’s nice to meet you,” he offers his hand graciously and you shake it in return. 
“Well Jackson,” you pause, feeling that tequila shot getting to you, “Why are you here at this bar alone?” 
He laughs, raising an eyebrow at you, “I’m not alone either,” he retorts. 
You nod slowly, a small smile spreading across your lips. Again, your eyes do another dance around the bar to spot Jungkook to no avail. 
“Do you want to dance with me Miss Y/N?” He suddenly asks taking you completely off guard. You open your mouth then close it, only to open it again to say nothing. You should say no. You know in your heart you should say no. However with no sign of Jungkook and this Jackson guy seeming like a normal guy, you felt no guilt when you take his hand for him to take you to the dance floor. 
The bar has great club and house music playing, making dancing an easy feat. Jackson is a great dancer, finding the rhythm to the songs easily as the DJ switches them rapidly. You find yourself comfortable with him, resting your hands lazily on his shoulders as he guides you through the motions. Maybe you’re too drunk, or you’re just relaxed, but you feel good in this moment. It reminds you of being a college freshman with Lisa, when you two would go to sweaty frat and baseball parties, dancing the night away with water bottles filled with cheap vodka. 
The tide between you and Jackson folds when you turn around, unknowingly pressing your back to his chest. You both are swaying in the changing lights, his arms resting on your waist protectively, his head resting on your left shoulder. You’ve always been a decent dancer too, Jackson finding it impressive as you keep up with each other. When you find a hand gripping at Jackson’s hair pulling him closer to you, it’s when reality hits, time freezing in that very moment. You’ve opened your eyes after sometime, across the bar Jungkook walks in, his eyes finding yours instantaneously. His lips part, a painful expression crossing his features. He watches you only for a moment, his heels turning himself around to leave you be, heart feeling like someone’s crucifying it. 
You suddenly panic, creating immediate space between you and Jackson. You turn around and lean up to his ear. 
“I’m sorry, I really have to go—“ you tell him in a rush. He’s clearly confused but before you can listen to whatever he has to say, your feet pick you up to the path Jungkook must have taken to get out of here. It’s difficult to get through the crowd of people, especially in your heels and drunkenly, but you manage. 
When you go to the outsider area of the bar, you don’t spot him. Shit, you think, where did he go? You start to panic, reaching for your phone out of your purse. You quickly scroll to his name, hitting the call button. You groan with an eye-roll—of course he isn’t going to fucking answer you. 
You’re not completely sure he’s not in the bar anymore, but you chance it, leaving the bar alone. Thankfully the streets are well lit and there are plenty of people around to make you feel safe. You’re typing him a mean text as you walk back towards your cottage, ready to curse him out when you see him. That is, until you actually see him—then your mind goes blank. 
Jungkook’s sat on the curb of a small, local convenient store eating what seems to be an ice cream sandwich. You’ve got to be fucking kidding. 
“Jungkook!” You nearly exclaim, “What the hell are you doing?” You approach him, stumbling slightly in your heels. 
He quickly notices how unstable you are, standing up to steady you, “You okay Y/N?” 
You push him off you, “No the fuck I’m not okay,” you spit at him, “You just left me there?” You’re drunk and frustrated, that’s all you know. 
“Here,” he offers the rest of his ice cream sandwich. You can’t resist him and you take it, eating it in two bites. He watches you carefully before saying, “Sorry, I just thought you were preoccupied.” 
You throw away the paper wrapper, looking at him like he’s crazy. 
“Are you for real Jungkook?” You press, not caring if you’re bringing attention to the two of you as people pass by. He shoves his hands into his pockets, exhaling heavily. 
“You want to go home?” He asks with straight lips. You cross your arms over your chest angrily, what the hell was his problem? 
“Do you want to go home?” You ask him in retaliation. 
He only looks a you a brief moment before nodded slowly. This conversation is seriously sobering you up faster than anything has ever before and nothing productive has even be said. 
He turns around, “C’mon,” he says. 
“What do you mean?” You ask him confused as he’s widened his stance, as if he’s ready for you to plow over him. 
“Hop on Y/N,” he says, “And don’t even try to fight me on this. I know your feet are killing you.” 
He wants to piggy back you home. You stay put, hands playing with each other awkwardly staring at his back. He glances over his shoulder and says your name again. 
“B-but your k-knee Jungkook,” you say hesitantly. You knew Jungkook weight lifted and did enough cardio for him to live until he was 105, but the last thing you wanted was for him to injure himself again, especially because of you.
“It’s fine Y/N, I promise,” he says, “I just want to get you home.” 
As you brace yourself on his shoulders, you try to jump as light as possible to lessen the blow to his body. He catches you gracefully, adjusting your knees in his hands. And home is where you two go. 
After you two walk into the threshold of the cottage—you insisting on walking the last little bit of the way—a parable tension that could be cut with a knife has settled between you two. You tried your best to talk to him on the way back, but his answers were short and uninterested. You only had remnants of your drunkenness left inside you and if anything, you were tightening back up, even angrier than when you left the bar. 
Jungkook’s about to walk into your shared bedroom before you call after him. 
“Wait Jungkook!” You say. He stops in his tracks, turning to look at you. His face is unreadable in the dim lights of the cottage. “What the fuck happened back there?” You ask him as you take off your heels, leaving them by the couch. 
“It’s nothing Y/N,” he brushes you off, turning around to continue his path to the bedroom. Of course you follow him; he expected it. 
“Jungkook, come onnn,” you press, “Are you that pissed that I was dancing with someone else?” You can’t hide your anger and frustration if you tried. This wasn’t fair to you. He had paraded girls throughout college— parading Chaeyoung for a year and a half in front of you—and you never said anything about it no matter how much it bothered you. 
“Y/N it’s fine, can we just,” he pauses as he looks over at you, “Just drop it?” He’s taking off his rings and bracelets, your lip tucked between your teeth. 
You make an unsatisfied noise, stepping closer to him, “No we fucking can’t. What’s your problem Jungkook?” 
He leans on the dresser with both hands, his muscle definition showing through his shirt as he tenses up. His jaw clenches as he closes his eyes in deep reverie. You watch him carefully, knowing you probably should tread lightly given he’s pissed. But you know what? You’re pissed too. He can’t act like that with no explanation—that’s not fair to you. 
“Junghyun called me about you, you know,” are his first words as he looks over to you. 
“M-me?” You stutter, confusion lacing your tone. 
He pushes himself off the dresser, though he keeps distance between you two. He suddenly runs a frustrated grip through his hair, messing it up slightly. 
“You know, since you’re moving halfway across the fucking globe,” he sounds bitter, though deep dejection is mainly what you hear. You moving had been a sensitive topic with him ever since the interview stage happened with you months ago. It hurt you to speak about it with Jungkook the most. The thought of leaving him crushed both of you which is why neither of you had brought it up these past two weeks. 
“He was asking me if I had done it yet,” he laughs sarcastically, “Of fucking course he was.” 
You’re more confused than ever and you say his name in a whisper, but he continues. 
“You know the other day when you said that you were only a small part of my life, that’s when it really hit me,” he pauses, “You really don’t know how much you fucking mean to me Y/N. You’ve been my best friend for so long, been there with me through so much of my bullshit—my accident, losing my scholarship, losing my fucking life—“ he inhales deeply and you suddenly feel dizzy, unsure of where this conversation has turned.
“—And now I’m fucking losing you and I can’t even be honest with you because it doesn’t matter,” his voice breaks off as he looks at his feet. You start to panic, a roller coaster of emotions pulsing through you. 
You step towards him hesitantly, “Jungkook you can always be honest with me,” you grab his forearm, “I’m your best friend for fucksakes—stop with the hysterics and just tell me what’s wrong,” you plead with him. If your words weren’t enough, your eyes were giving a show. 
His bottom lip trembles as he meets your gaze. You have adrenaline running through you as he moves to rest his hands on your waist, gripping the skin tight. 
“I love you Y/N,” he says letting out a deep breath before he can second guess himself. 
“I know,” you tell him, “Jungkook you know I love you too.. you’re scaring me—“
“No Y/N,” he shakes his head, “I’m in love with you—like fucking crazy about you Y/N.” 
His words take your breath away, stumbling slightly as you can’t believe the words he’s saying. He’s what? Jungkook’s in love with you? You part your lips, unable to form sentences, shaking your head stunned 
“You don’t have to say anything,” he looks down, his forehead brushing yours, “But I couldn’t let you move without telling you—I don’t know how long it’s been but it just happened one day and I haven’t stopped since.” 
“Jungkook,” you finally whisper after some silence, your palms finding solace on his broad chest, “I-I don’t know what to say,” you pause looking up through your lashes. You feel like you could cry from the up and down of your emotions. 
You both stare at each other, unsure of who is going to make the next move. You decide that it will be you. 
“B-but when we talked the other night about the future and stuff… I thought you were talking about Chaeyoung,” you admit, feeling a little dumb now that this secret has been spilled. 
Jungkook lets out a laugh, unsure he heard you correctly, “Y/N—what, no, I haven’t spoken to Chaeyoung in months at this point,” he pauses, his strong hands gripping your forearms gently, “I was talking about you.. it’s always been you.”
There’s a silence that falls; a war raging in your head as you go through as many memories as you can with Jungkook. He’s been there for you at any moment you’ve needed him and vice versa. You couldn’t imagine a life without him and right now—you’ve finally decided in allowing yourself to be honest. 
“Y/N I know this is unfair since you’re leaving but—“
“I love you too Jungkook,” you interrupt him to which he responds with a mellow what, “I know that I’m in love with you Jungkook—I have for some time now, I just didn’t want to admit it.. I-I was scared and I didn’t know how to bring it up, fuck I’m sorry—“
You’re suddenly cut off with Jungkook’s lips covering yours. You instantly melt into his lips as your eyes close, your hands finding their way around his neck to pull him down to you. After a few moments, he pulls away from you, rubbing his nose against yours. 
“Is this real?” He asks, a small smile playing on his lips; all anxiousness leaving your body at once. You return a small smile, nodding in his delicate hold. 
“Real,” you whisper back, chasing after his lips once again. 
This time when your lips meet his, it’s more aggressive from each side, pouring out all frustration and built up pining over the years into it. His tongue opens your mouth wider and you sigh into him, tangling your fingers into his soft hair. His hands slither down from your waist to over your ass, pressing your hips into his. 
You’d never thought kissing someone could feel this good. Your entire body feels aflame as you both discover each others mouths piece by piece. Jungkook’s walked you backwards against the wall, holding you up against it firmly as you both continue to kiss each other feverishly. You rest your head against the wall as his lips move from yours to your neck, your breathing intensifying as he kisses and nips gently. 
“Jungkook,” you breathe heavily, as he places a kiss on your exposed shoulder, moving the flimsily strap to your top down. You get bolder with your own actions, maneuvering your hands underneath his shirt feeling his muscles tense under your touch. 
His lips find yours again, “I wanted this for so long Y/N,” he mumbles against your skin as you pull him taut to you. “Remember sophomore year? When you kissed me for that dare?” 
“Mhm,” you murmur in response as his hand experimentally trails its way up to cup your left breast, “How could I forget?” You tell him through a slight whine when he squeezes you through the thin material of your top. 
He smirks against your lips, tugging on your bottom lip ever so slightly, “I was so happy when you didn’t drink that bitch cup,” he admits. You can’t help but giggle at his words, one of your hands resting on the back of his neck to hold him close to you, “And this is much better than that.” 
You nip at his mouth again, “I agree,” you pause, your other hand playing with the buttons on his shirt, “Can I take this off?” You ask through your lashes; your voice soft and patient. 
Jungkook emits deep groan from his throat, “Is this okay with you?” He suddenly asks. 
You immediately nod, “Yes, yes, of course,” you begin your slow assault at his shirt buttons, undoing them one at a time. 
He kisses your forehead, “Okay… I just,” he pauses, “I’m just a little nervous,” he admits as he grapples at your waist again, pulling you flush against him. He’s got a growing bulge in his pants, making your squeeze your thighs together. 
“Why are you nervous?” You gaze at him with stars in your eyes, finding everything about him endearing and so lovable. 
He rests his forehead against yours, “I don’t know I’ve just thought about this for forever,” he pauses, “I want you to feel safe.” 
You smile sweetly at him, “I always feel safe with you Jungkook,” you tell him reassuringly. You lean forward, placing a kiss on his exposed chest when you finally undo the last button. You waste no time pushing the fabric off his golden skin, tattoos and all on fully display. 
“When did you get so hot?” You pout in between his kisses along your neck and collarbone. He chuckles into your skin, his hands now exploring both of your breasts through the fabric. 
“I’ve been wondering the same with you,” he kisses right between your cleavage, his fingers finding the zipper at the back of your top. 
“Please—“ your breath hitches when the cold air makes your nipples taut as he drags your shirt away, “Have you seen yourself?” You’ve barely finish your sentence until Jungkook’s lips are wrapping around your right nipple, sucking and teething at the sensitive. 
“Have you seen yourself Y/N?” He mumbles into your skin, paying attention to your left nipple now. “My pretty girl,” he breathes out pulling away from you, sending a fire through your veins. He grabs your hands and pulls you towards the bed not too far from the wall. 
You straddle him as you reconnect your lips together, rutting against him as your hips grind down. A shiver of pleasure runs through you, a subtle moan vanishing in his mouth. 
“Fuck,” he says, “Do that again, I like hearing you.” 
You chuckle, kissing near his ear, “Make me,” you challenge. Jungkook bites his lip, the grip on your hips tightening. 
Being as competitive as he is—it’s a challenge he’s willing to accept. 
Jungkook is suddenly flipping you two over, settling between your thighs, tits shaking as you readjust yourself. You spread your legs a little so he can sit comfortably on his knees between you, his bulge more prominent than ever, straining in his white pants. Your mouth literally waters as his hands push up your skirt, exposing your skimpy little lace thong that’s barely covering your cunt at this point. 
“Goddamn,” he gulps at the sight, his eyes flicking to yours quickly as your chest rises up and down in anticipation. You’re already so turned on—so wet just for him. If it was any other guy, you’d probably feel embarrassed but you were telling them truth when you said you felt safe with him. 
His tattooed hand slides down to your inner thigh, a couple of his fingers running over your clothed heat. Your hips cant outwards as he does this a couple times before he decides to ultimately pull your panties off, leaving them strung across the room somewhere. 
You hold his gaze as he spits onto his fingertips, now finding your bare pussy exposed for him in all its glory. He doesn’t waste time in dipping a finger inside you to test the waters. When your mouth falls open, he takes it as a good sign when you start to beg him for more. 
“Jungkook please,” you push out your hips, trying to get the most of one finger though it’s no use. “I need more,” you whine. 
He leans down, placing a kiss to your lips, “I know baby, I know,” you gasp when he adds in another finger, a steady strong of moans escaping you when he begins a gentle rhythm in and out of you. It’s torture the way it feels so so good, yet it’s still leaving you wanting more. 
He gets a hold of your right leg, holding it up slightly so he can penetrate deeper inside with his fingers, his thumb rubbing up against the hood of your clit. 
“Hold yourself open for me baby,” he says to which you obey, holding onto the side of your leg just as he was, “Good girl,” he praises you, which creates even more slick arousal. 
From here, he takes one of his hands to pull your clitoral hood open, using his other to circle your bud and enter your pussy in alternating motions. 
“Ah, shit—“ your hips jerk against him when you begin to feel yourself start to climb that hill to an orgasm. Your continuously moaning was sending him mad and your glistening cunt was a full invitation for him. 
He shifts his weight, his lips meeting your center to which your back arches off the mattress, a strained whine from you as he flicks his tongue over your clit. It’s obscene the way he gives you head—it’s hot and messy, little to no friction as he goes from focus on your hole with both his fingers and mouth, to sucking heavily on your clit. You could feel yourself dripping on the sheets underneath you, the wetness making Jungkook involuntarily push his cock into the mattress. 
“Jungkook—I’m gonna come,” you manage through your tight breaths. 
“Yeah baby?” He muses against you, the vibration of his voice sending a shockwave through your already swollen clit. You nod desperately into the bed, holding his head down with your left hand as your hips chase to meet his movements. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” chants fall from your lips when you feel yourself tip over the edge, falling heavily into an orgasm that overtakes your entire body. You don’t even care if you’re loud as you moan and rile beneath him, your pussy clenching around his fingers before he pulls them out to watch your cunt clench around nothing. 
“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he marvels as you come down from your high, your body clearly relaxed now as you find time to catch your breath. You lean up on your elbows as he meets you halfway to kiss you again. He tastes like you as he tongues the inside of your mouth carefully. 
You scoot your body down some, hands finding the front of his pants. You can tell he’s big just by running your hand over his cock through the clothes. He inhales a sharp intake of breath when you squeeze him a little. You break your kiss to focus on getting him out of the fabric, unzipping and unbuttoning his pants quickly. You take notice of his white Calvin Kleins as he helps you push them down past his ankles. 
In a rush, you tug down the front of his boxers—breath hitching in the back of your throat. He was big—the biggest you’ve ever seen—thick and long between his muscular set of thighs. 
You whine when you take him in, never experiencing a want for someone so badly in your entire life. 
“Can I please suck it?” You whisper, your words sounding like sweet saccharine to his ears. As tempting as that sounds for him, he wasn’t sure how long he would last with you, and he needed to be inside of your pussy when he came.
“Not right now baby,” he says firm in his tone, “I want to be inside you so bad,” he sounds just as desperate as you feel. 
You nod quickly as you begin to take your skirt off since it’s still the last piece of clothing on you. Jungkook’s hands stop you quickly.
“No, no,” he chuckles, “Gonna fuck you in this pretty skirt,” he places a zealous kiss on your lips one more time before he suddenly gets up hurrying over to one of his duffle bags. He returns quickly and you watch carefully as you notice him tearing open a condom packet, his abs visible each time he breathes. 
“You brought condoms?” You ask him curiously. 
He smirks as he begins to roll it down over his fully hardened cock, “I’ve been bringing them with us everywhere since we went to Europe,” he explains as he instructs you to scoot back some. The thought makes you feel bubbly on the inside, laughing at him some. 
“So you’ve just assumed that we’re gonna fuck one day then?” You ask him as he settles between you, rubbing his tip against your folds. 
He closes his eyes briefly, before smirking again, “Never assumed, just hoped,” he lines himself up with your entrance, having to fight not to just slam right into you, “I’ll start slow okay?” 
You nod as you grip behind his neck and shoulder with each hand. Once Jungkook begins to push into you, you literally forget how to breathe. Jungkook groans as he bites his lip in full concentration, pushing a little farther. 
“It’s okay, breathe baby,” he encourages, “I know you can take it. My baby can take it, right?” 
He knows very well you can—he just wants to hear you say it in your voice that’s laced in honey and arousal for him. 
You nod faster that you ever had, “God, yes Jungkook I can, yes I can,” you finally find your oxygen as he pushes in slowly to the hilt. Your jaw was slack as his forehead rests against your own, a burning between your legs but pleasurable enough that you begin to involuntarily clench around him. 
“Shit baby, don’t do that,” he warns, “This tight little pussy is all mine, right?” 
“Of course Jungkook—“ he pulls back, then pushing back in, your hips canting upward to help him fulfill every inch inside you. “Oh my god—“ you whimper as he slowly begins to find his pace. 
“Are you okay?” He asks. 
“Yes, fuck yes, Jungkook just please don’t stop,” you beg, “Go faster, please.” 
One of his hands grip your right hip, the other fisting the sheets by your head as he does as he’s told, picking his pace up slowly but surely as the seconds pass. Its blissful heaven having him fill you up so good. You’d never thought you’d be in this position with Jungkook, but as time passes you wish that you two had got around to it a lot sooner. 
With each snap of his hips, your body moves upwards given force. A mantra of noises come from you as you watch his brows furrow from above you, strained groans and breathes escaping his lips. You could feel the simmering of another orgasm approaching you as his perfect stroke hits your g-spot. You grab at his face to steady him; his pace thrown off a bit when you lean up to kiss his lips gently. 
“Let me get on top,” you whisper to him. He tugs on your lip, unsure if he wants to give up control but with you, he’d relinquish any day. He pulls out, leaving you hallow with you quickly pushing him off of you and down to the mattress. His back is rested against the pillows and headboard to which you grab with one hand, using your another hand to line yourself back up with him. 
After you sink down, your arousal making it easy this time—you begin to find a pace against him that’s calculated to hit your insides in all the right areas. Jungkook grips your hips, pushing your skirt up slightly as he marvels up at you, drunk in a haze of you and you only. With uneven breaths, you can tell you’re on the verge of coming again, so he licks his thumb before he places it on your clit. Each touch of your hips presses firmly against his finger, explicative falling from your lips in a rush. 
“God—Jungkook, I-I can’t,” you choke out, squeezing around him tightly as he begins to push his own hips up to meet yours. 
One of his hands makes it way to your throat, pulling your forehead down to his as he takes the oxygen away from you. It’s too much—it’s all too much. 
“Yes baby, you can,” he encourages, “My pretty girl, come with me,” he adds after he begins to hold you in place some, shoving his hips up in a brutal pace to chase his own climax. 
It doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to hit, hit tipping backwards as you let out a half-scream of his name, jumbled together with high pitched moans. It goes on longer than your last one, convulsing around his cock as you lean forward in a daze. 
Jungkook’s close—his lip tucked into his teeth, brows deeply furrowed as he continues his pace up inside you. With a bated breath, he announces he’s going to come and you encourage him just as he did you. He spills into the condom with a whiney groan in submission to you, his movements coming to end an end shortly after he rides his climax out. 
He’s got his arms wrapped around your torso and you cradle him to your chest as you both try to catch your breaths. He lifts your hips slightly to let himself fall out of you, though he keeps you close to him after, looking up at you through a lazy smile. 
You return one to him, meeting your lips to his. The kiss is gentle and love worthy as your heart swells so much it feels like it could burst for the man beneath you. 
You pull away from him, “Can I take this skirt off now?” 
He chuckles before nodding, placing a kiss on your shoulder before you move off of him to discard the final article of clothing on your frame. You climb back into bed after you throw on a slinky tank top and use the bathroom—a UTI was not going to plague you. Jungkook pulls on a pair of briefs, opening his arms up to you once he climbs back in. You cuddle up right next to him, an arm slung around his bare chest, leg over his as he pulls you closer with one arm. The two you mindlessly talk about nothing before you feel yourself drifting off to sleep. The last thing you recall is Jungkook placing a kiss on your head, telling you that he loves you again, leaving little to no space between each other this time on the bed. 
The bright sun is what wakes you up the next morning, a strained mumble coming from you as you stretch out on the bed. You’re halfway on your back, halfway on your side when you open your eyes. You rub them with your knuckles to clear them of any matter. When the room fully focuses, you freeze in your position, stomach dropping a little bit. Your head hurts from the alcohol but it wasn’t enough alcohol to make you forget what happened. 
You and Jungkook had had sex and professed pining love to each other. 
You quickly turn over to find yourself alone in the bed, your anxiety and cortisol levels skyrocketing. You also take notice that Jungkook’s not out on the balcony that connects to the room. You sit up a little too quickly for your headache, taking a moment to steady yourself. 
You grab your phone off the nightstand, checking the time and any messages you have. There’s only a few that you decide you’ll answer later. Nothing from Jungkook. 
You push the sheets and duvet off your frame, hurrying over to your suitcase to pull on a pair of shorts. You quickly make your way out of the bedroom, finding the living and kitchen space empty. Maybe he was in the bathroom? 
“Jungkook?” You call out. No answer. 
You suddenly feel like you’re going to get sick. Insecurity and all other horrifying thoughts cross your brain. Did he leave you here? Did he get scared and go home? Did he really fuck you only to leave you? 
You feel like you could cry as you lean onto the couch for support. You hold back your tears, breathing heavily in and out to keep yourself calm. 
Where the fuck—
The door to the cottage is suddenly unlocked, pushing open to reveal your best friend in all his glory. He’s dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, carrying a brown bag in one hand, balancing two coffees on his arm. 
“Oh, good morning!” He flashes his million dollar smile at you as he sets down all of his belongings on the kitchen island. 
You stand there with a pout, not saying anything to him. He looks at you slightly confused, walking over to see what’s wrong. 
“Are you okay?” He asks with concern, grabbing gently behind your elbows. 
You push at his chest with flat palms, “I thought you left me,” you whine. A smile cracks open as he laughs some. 
“Why would I have left you?” He questions you, “I just went and got us some breakfast while you were still sleeping,” he explains. 
“Well I can see that now,” you push back, “I just thought.. maybe you got scared and left,” you trail off, looking away from him now that you feel a little dumb for jumping to such horrible conclusions. 
Jungkook pulls you in for a hug to which you return it like a kid grabbing onto their teddy bear tightly. 
“I would never do that Y/N,” he says placing a kiss to your head, squeezing you playfully as he sways you dramatically, “I’m kind of offended that you think I would,” he then says with a pinch to your ass cheek. 
“Ow!” You push yourself off of him with a laugh, “Sorry, it’s just,” you chew on your lip when you meet his gaze, “I don’t really know how to go about this whole friends to lovers thing.” 
He pulls you to the kitchen so you two can begin to eat your breakfast. The coffee is great; just what you needed to cure your headache. 
“It’s simple,” he says as he sits down beside you after he’s placed your breakfast sandwiches out. 
“Is it really?” You push through a mouthful of food—gross you know, but Jungkook was the last person to care. 
He quirks that pierced eyebrow at you that just drives you absolutely mad, “Hell yeah. We’re still best friends we’re just gonna have lots of sex now.” 
You look at him stunned before you both are laughing hysterically together. Maybe he is right. Simple. As the two of you eat your breakfast, you can’t help but feel so very happy but also so very sad. The two of you have created a bubble of paradise and it’s going to burst as soon as you get back on the plane to head back home. 
“Jungkook,” you say, turning the conversation serious after you both have finished your meals. He responds with a hm? “I’m still moving after the summer,” you bring it up hesitantly given how touchy it is; but there was no escaping and hiding from the truth. You were leaving; Jungkook was staying here. 
He tenses up in his seat, pursing his lips as he glances over at you, “That’s another reason Junghyun called me last night,” he begins. You look at him confused, asking what he means, “I’ve been thinking about telling you about my feelings for so long Y/N, and I clearly have shit timing,” he laughs ironically, “But Junghyun has known for awhile now—I think before I even knew it but um,” he pauses, “He made me promise to him that by the end of this trip that I would tell you, so he was on my ass about it last night.” 
You smile at him sweetly, resting your hand over his, “Well now you can tell him you kept that promise,” you offer. 
His gaze doesn’t quite meet yours, “Yeah, but that’s not all,” he pauses as you listen to him, “I’ve been applying to jobs in New York,” he admits. 
Your lips part as your eyes widen, “What?” You’re nearly breathless as you ask the question—feeling like Jungkook took a baseball bat to your chest. “Why would you do that?” You press. 
He swallows heavily, “I just, I knew whenever you said you were going there that I just couldn’t not try with you,” he pauses, his gaze looking almost apologetic, “I didn’t want to be four thousand miles away from you so I panicked and started applying for jobs there,” he explains, “I don’t want you to be mad, and I’ve already talked to my family about it and they’re all okay with it,” he says in a rush, “I just didn’t want you to be alone there, whether I confessed my feelings to you or not.” 
He’s chewing on his lip and you can tell he’s nervous. You turn over his palm so you can intertwine your fingers together, giving him a soft gaze. 
“While this has completely caught me off guard,” you say honestly, “I would never be mad at you over this,” you squeeze his hand for reassurance, “Did you really apply to jobs there because of me?” 
He nods a few times before he hangs his head low. You take your other hand and push his shorter fringe away from his face. While you’re positive many more details have to be worked out, that fact Jungkook made this decision makes you feel an amount of butterflies and love you’ve never experienced before. 
“And you’d for sure want to be in New York?” 
He looks up at you with those big doe-eyes that haven’t changed from the day you met him, “I’d go wherever you were Y/N. It could be the worst fucking place in world and I’d go there with you.” 
You lean over, pressing your lips to his gently. 
“I love you.” 
He smiles in return, “I love you more.” 
You pout some, “That’s not fair—no one is allowed to ‘love more’.” 
He kisses you again gently as he pulls you from the bar stool to stand between his legs. His hands squeeze your ass playfully as you try to pull away. 
“Well I can be the exception,” he leans into you, his arms wrapping around you protectively. You roll your eyes, a short laugh escaping your lips.
“You know what this means?” You ask inquisitively. 
“Lots of sex to be had,” you emphasis, “And even more of blowjobs.” 
His eyes widen, his jaw slightly clenching and you swear he whines as he looks up at you, pressing your front to his crotch, “Can we start that sooner than later?” 
You give him your answer through another kiss and moving your hands at the waistband of his pants. God, you think as you take in the already domesticated environment you two have made together, you could really get used to this. Jeon Jungkook was your best friend and at the end of the day—all you two needed was each other and somewhere to go.
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venusjeon · 3 months
rock god
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you've got one year left to either finish your novitiate and become a nun like your parents always wanted, or leave the order and live a secular life like you've always wanted. but the fact that a sister's flirty nephew is staying in the convent for the summer provides a perfect distraction to such headache.
♔ PAIRING: rockstar!jungkook x novice!reader
♔ GENRE: 80s au, angst, smut, humour, fluff, s2f2l
♔ WORD COUNT: 16.3k another long one i'm sorry
♔ WARNINGS: minor characters death, religious themes, catholic guilt, smoking weed, swearing, sacrilege and exhibitionism: fingering in a church, profanity, blasphemy, quiet sex & loss of virginity (you're probably thinking girl AGAIN?), protected sex, betrayal, one mention of rape
♔ AUTHOR'S NOTE: for an atheist i do seem to write a lot about religion lol. the first song jk writes & performs for reader + the inspiration for the title is rock god by selena gomez, and the second one church by chase atlantic. i recommend you listen to them in advance☺️ also, we'll pretend jk is blond in the banner okay?
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The day was going incredibly slow, as all of last month’s had.
Most people would attribute that to the fact that you were a novice, but their idea of what that entailed was far from the reality. Contrary to popular belief and even if some sisters wished it was the case, cloistered nuns didn’t spend all day just praying. There were many other things to keep busy with in a convent, such as attending to one’s studies, doing household chores, or working to bring money in and keep the place going. Free time had never been the part of the day you looked the most forward to, though, until recently. Not that it got any better then.
Contradictory as though it was, you were kept from the present by the same plaguing thoughts you didn’t want to be left alone with… And sometimes, such as now, you didn’t have any choice but to force yourself back into reality, running late as you were.
The novice mistress Sister Daeun—that is, the one responsible for the training of the novices—had assigned you to fix the torn seams on your classmates’ habits that morning. Hey, someone had to do it. So off you ran through the cloister not to melt under the same sun others didn’t seem to mind.
Others being Jungkook and the group of girls who gathered around to listen to him play the guitar.
The presence of men wasn’t rare in your abbey, built some centuries back. It was sort of shut off from the rest of the world, hidden up in a mountain, but lost hikers always wandered into it and the abbot was more than happy to let them spend a night or two as guests, regardless of their gender.
Jungkook was a guest too.
He was in a rock band, or so you’d heard, and that career choice was why his parents had kicked him out, something you’d pity him for if he wasn’t always in a cheery mood whenever you chanced to see him around. Of course, what guy wouldn’t, surrounded by girls?
It didn’t bother you that some of your less spiritual sisters succumbed to his tattoos, long dyed blond hair, charming voice, and piercings. Their parents would doubtlessly tell them to stay away from someone who looked like a delinquent—your conscience did too—but then again, they were the ones who’d forcefully made them join the order, so you understood where the girls’ disobedience came from. On a personal level, in fact.
Though not because of the same reason, you weren’t there willingly either.
Unlike theirs, your behaviour wasn’t scandalous in any way and there was no need for you to be schooled in rectitude, no. This was just the path your parents had wanted you to take since you were little and you’d resigned to comply, however unhappy it made you. It wasn’t that you wouldn’t make a good nun, devout as you’d been raised and actually enjoyed being, but it wasn’t your calling.
Leaving the lively cloister behind and trying to do the same with your affliction, you rushed to your destination.
About three hours later, you were still sat in front of the sewing machine in the otherwise empty laundry room, humming on a loop the part of the song Jungkook had been playing earlier. You couldn’t deny it was catchy... Besides, you needed a tune to distract you from the machine’s repetitive noise and the summer heat, or else you’d go crazy. Maybe you had already, given you’d failed to notice someone opening the creaky door and walking in.
Startled, you raised your head to meet the eyes of the rockstar himself, filled with something akin to interest. “Oh, hi...”
Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Before you could kindly tell him not to worry, that it was your fault for spacing out, he grabbed the hem of his shirt to show you the hole in it that until then you hadn’t caught sight of. “I was told to come here to get this fixed?” He then glanced at the dozen habits lying on the table you still had to work on, and changed his mind not to burden you, “But I can come another time– Or not at all! I mean, ripped clothes are trendy, aren’t they?”
For the first time in a while, you laughed genuinely and not out of courtesy, “I wouldn’t know, there’s not much variety in a novice’s wardrobe.” Since Jungkook’s t-shirt would just take a moment to mend and you didn’t mind helping him, you decided to neglect your current task without a second thought, holding out your hand with a smile. “It’s alright, really!”
“You’re an angel.” He smiled back as he took off his t-shirt, exposing a toned body you weren’t prepared for. Bet he says that to all the girls, intruded a thought in your mind as though to make go away the uplift of his compliment, but you brushed it off before he reached the table. “By the way, was that my song you were just humming?”
“Oh? I heard you sing it earlier, but I didn’t know it was yours,” you said while getting to work. Meanwhile, Jungkook leaned against the door’s frame. “I don’t really listen to music much.”
“What?!” He was utterly shocked, eyes wide like he’d seen a ghost. “That’s the greatest sin of all! I’ll have a serious conversation with the abbot, they’re not teaching you girls the important stuff here.” Father Jimin would certainly be amused at such a request. “But I did see you running earlier in the cloister, now that I think about it. It is hot, Y/N, but I don’t believe the floor is in flames.”
He knows my name? What a stupid question. Whoever had told him to come to the laundry room must have seen you entering it and mentioned you’d be there.
“Yeah, I was late, had overslept. It probably looked like someone was chasing me… Nun on the run!” you rhymed out of nowhere. “There’s a title for your next single.”
“If naming my songs will get you to listen to them, I’m down.” You looked up from the task at hand to ask him if that meant he’d credit ‘Sister Y/N’ as a songwriter, but the sight of someone walking down the hallway towards the laundry room scared the words away. “You know, you’re too pretty to be a nun.”
Sister Daeun, now right behind Jungkook, smacked the back of his head and asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jungkook’s smile turned into a pout as he rubbed the spot. “Nothing, aunty. Ouch…”
Yes, he was her nephew, which was the main reason why Father Jimin had allowed him to stay not just for a few days, but the whole summer. Sister Daeun had promised on his behalf that as a thanks, he would help around to earn his bed and under no circumstances put in peril anyone’s vow of chastity. If he weren’t so good-looking, you imagined she wouldn’t have needed to make that promise.
“Y/N…” she sighed when she saw the pile of habits you had yet to fix the seams of. Despite the disappointment in her voice, she made sure to say tactfully, “It’s almost midday, I asked you to have all of them done before ten.”
Jungkook was the only one in the room who had no clue as to why you’d been working so slowly, but he didn’t hesitate to step forward when your head lowered in shame. “My bad, I’ve been distracting her for hours. And on top of it, I gave her more work…”
He approached the sewing machine, got his t-shirt, and put it on, all while you stared at him at a loss for words. Why would he take the blame? Sister Daeun started telling you to finish some other time and get ready for lunch, but you stopped listening, attention fixed on Jungkook as he discreetly winked at you before leaving.
That wasn’t the last time you met that day. Well, incorrect, because it was past midnight.
Like many nights before, guilt stirred a restlessness that kept you from falling asleep, the only solution you could think of being walking around the empty abbey in the hope of tiring your body and with it, your brain. It wasn’t that easy, though, often hours how long you’d wander about, always ending up at the cloister. Sitting on the stone base between the columns and gazing up at the stars brought some peace to you. More than praying, it appeared.
That night, such peace was disrupted when barely after ten minutes of it, the sound of a lighter being flicked made your head whip around.
“So you do have hair,” Jungkook joked as he sat against a column, bending one knee so he could rest his elbow on it. Although a bit embarrassed you were in your pyjamas and thus wearing no white veil that covered your head in front of a guy you didn’t know, you did the same on the next column to be able to face him. “Can’t sleep either?”
“Lately, not.”
He puffed at his joint before offering it to you, and a short laugh broke through your lips. Was he seriously tempting a novice to burn one with him? To be fair, he did mean to help you sleep, but it was still a bit… much for you. “I’ll pass, thank you.”
“Yeah, probably not a good idea,” Jungkook nodded at his own words before taking another puff, blowing the smoke to a side so it wouldn’t reach you. “I don’t want your parents to make a complaint because there’s a bloke loose in the convent corrupting the nuns. Can’t afford to be kicked out of here, too,” he whispered the last bit, as though talking to himself.
“Don’t worry, that’s not happening.”
“Why not? Are you girls not allowed visits or something?”
“No, we are, it’s just… they died last month. Car crash.”
“Shit, I’m so sorry.” You could see in Jungkook’s wide eyes how much he regretted bringing them up. “That explains why you were out of sorts this morning... Agh, I can’t believe they’re still making you do work, what a bunch of heartless pricks! Not to mention class, I mean, isn’t it summer?”
His indignation for your sake came as a surprise. Ignorantly, you’d allowed prejudices to decide what kind of person Jungkook was before he got the chance to show you himself. The familiar guilt well-deservedly returned to grip your heart.
“Father Jimin actually had me switch jobs with some sisters so that I’d get to do less demanding stuff,” you came to the poor abbot’s defence. “It makes no difference, but he’s not to blame nothing can.”
"Doesn’t praying help?” He took another puff, lips curling into a smirk at the thought that next crossed his mind. “I thought nuns had a direct line with God.”
The truth was your relationship with the Lord had strained. As someone whose thoughts and desires couldn’t help but fall into sin over and over, you didn’t feel worthy of His comfort, or dared ask for guidance. His or anybody’s.
“I have to go through the telephonist angels first, I’m not an official nun yet.” The muscles of your face relaxed, gaze falling to your lap. “To be honest, I don’t think I want to be.”
Jungkook’s head cocked to a side. “Really? So, what are you doing here? You don’t strike me as the type forced by her p– uh, family.”
“I do like this place and what they’re teaching us, but I’m here because my parents wanted a saintly daughter who could put in a good word for them up there. I tried telling them once that I have dreams of my own, but it ended in an argument they had the last word in. Now that they’re dead, it’s like the topic is permanently sealed, I can never talk them out of it. And I mean, I love them, so how can I disappoint them? What would it say about me if I waited until my parents were dead to disobey them?”
Only after you finished venting did it dawn on you that perhaps you’d said too much. After all, what did Jungkook care? What did anyone?
“What’s your dream?”
The question took you aback, but you still answered, “I’d like to go to university, get married someday, have kids... Not be trapped inside these four walls for the rest of my life, you know?”
“I know exactly what you mean, trust me,” Jungkook said quietly before puffing at his joint again. “You’re free to leave, though, right? I don’t need to master-plan an escape?”
You hummed a laugh, mindful not to be loud enough to wake anyone up, given neither of you should be out of bed. There may or may not have been a curfew you were breaking, as well as a tradition called the Great Silence in which everyone kept quiet from the final liturgical prayer of the day until the earliest one the next morning. It was a rule often broken, especially by you, but that didn’t mean the abbey wasn’t dead silent.
“Anytime I want, yes, only next year I’m supposed to take my solemn vows.” Jungkook nodded but a slight frown gave away he didn’t know what that meant. “Poverty, chastity, and obedience? It’s like a wedding with Jesus. I can always divorce him, but that doesn’t mean marriage is a light affair.”
Most orders didn’t work like that. There were various stages one had to go through before becoming a professed nun: an optional aspirancy, then a postulancy, a novitiate, and finally, a juniorate. Since you’d gone to Catholic school all your life, you’d skipped the first, done no more than a few months of the second, were about to start the final year of the third, and would not be doing the fourth since your convent didn’t teach it. Instead of six more years of formation before taking your perpetual vows, then, you had only one.
“Damn, and here I thought I had the most fucked up horoscope of the year. Maybe we were born on the same month.”
“What do you mean?”
“Doesn’t everyone know my parents kicked me out because I want to be a rockstar?”
Once again, you’d assumed wrongly about him. That because of his profession and looks, he was a rebellious kid who hated his parents and was glad to be rid of them. You hadn’t even considered their shunning might be putting him through a hard time.
“Look, disappointing your parents beats living a miserable life just to please them, even if it sucks. One day we’ll be old, and I personally want to look back and not regret my youth, feel like I wasted it. I’m not gonna tell you what to do but if you want my opinion, getting out of here and chasing your dreams says no more than you’re in charge of your own life.”
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You had no idea why after that, Jungkook had taken it as his mission to stick with you.
It was common knowledge that you’d barely uttered ten words since your parents’ accident, so all eyes were drawn like magnets when you engaged in conversation with him of all people for hours on end. Since you came from vastly different worlds, it surprised you too that even though his company didn’t lessen your guilt, it was the best way to distract you from it. And precisely, that was his intention.
He would sit next to you at meals, trying to convince the sisters around the table in all seriousness that because they were cloistered, they weren’t aware Earth had been invaded by aliens last year.
“Do you think we’re stupid?” a postulant asked, giggles escaping you at how ridiculous the conversation you were having was. “Some of us do go out sometimes, I think we would’ve noticed.”
“They want you to think everything’s normal because only an army of nuns can defeat them!”
“How do we know you’re not one of them, huh?” you played along, narrowing your eyes in suspicion while Jungkook placed a hand on his chest, feigning shock.
“Aunty will vouch for me but even if not, I can’t believe you’d doubt me. We’ve known each other for like, what, a week? That’s enough for me to follow you into battle.”
“Sorry but can’t be too careful during an alien invasion.”
“That I warned you about! Why would I say anything in the first place?”
“I’ve been here for many years,” an older nun chimed in from the other side of the table, making everyone turn their attention to her. She addressed Jungkook, “You’ve just reminded me why I joined the order.”
He blinked, dumbfounded. “Why, sister?”
“Men talk so much nonsense it makes my head hurt.”
To see Jungkook argue playfully about aliens and men with a seventy-year-old nun who was having none of his shit was an experience, but it wouldn’t be just that.
Like you’d told him, Father Jimin had allowed you to switch jobs. Your old one consisted of embellishing clothes with elaborate religious embroideries—hence why Sister Daeun had asked for your help with the torn habits—that would later be sold on a street market stall in town beside other products manufactured by your sisters, whereas your new one required almost no effort.
There was an old married couple nearby who ran a goat farm, and a small group of nuns from your convent helped them in exchange of a portion of the food they made, instead of a salary. Father Jimin was clearly trying his best to raise your spirits when he’d assigned you to tend to the cutest new-born goats, but it wasn’t until Jungkook tagged along and you saw him struggle with the baby bottles, spilling milk all over his clothes and cursing at the tiny animals, that the abbot’s goal was achieved.
“No, no, no, come back, you little shit!” He chased a hoppy kid around the barn, unable to contain that lovely high-pitched laugh.
“How are you making a mess out of literally the easiest thing in the world?” you teased from the bag of pine shavings you were sat on, another kid resting otherwise peacefully on your lap.
“That’s easy for you to say, I’ve got Psycho making me do cardio over here!”
“Try this one,” you giggled, motioning to the empty spot beside you with your head so Jungkook would sit down. When he did, you lay the kid on his lap carefully and brought the baby bottle to its mouth, both of you watching as it fed without any problem. “See?”
It didn’t take long for the milk to run out, after which you and Jungkook stroked the kid to sleep while the other one still hopped around, sharing a smile when your fingers accidentally brushed.
Because he’d tag along, you agreed to helping out in the kitchen on another day, as time was somehow bearable if he was there. But you were still going through the motions, your parents’ absence ever-present.
“What do you think?” Jungkook stirred you awake from your trance. “Bitchin’, right? The best thing you’ve ever heard?”
The song that got stuck in your head the day you met was playing on a boombox he’d brought from his van and put on the worktop while the two of you and three other sisters cooked lunch.
The girl you’d just heard, he had explained, was the band’s lead singer Amber, whom he sometimes joined apart from playing the guitar. There were also a Hoseok on the drums and a Taehyung on the bass. Bangtan, their name was. You’d never heard of them.
“I’m not sure about the lyrics,” meaning all the cursing and allusions to sex, which got your sisters flustered in the background, “but I like the tune.”
“The tune…”
“I’m just more used to church songs, is all.” Jungkook’s eyes lit up. “No.” You knew he was thinking exactly of blasting his rock songs in the middle of Mass.
“Why not?” he asked as a joke while trying to steal a couple of french fries from a dish. You slapped his hand before he could.
“Because Father Jimin will exile you, duh.”
“And don’t you think I’ll give up yet. I’ll be found outside your cell’s window playing music on my boombox until you agree to go out with me.” You should’ve cast away the heat before it reached your cheeks, as his flirting was obviously just for fun. Something he did with all girls and which meant nothing. “Better yet, I’ll write you a song.”
“I don’t think a novice is the perfect muse for a rock song, especially if it’s about…”
Jungkook shook his head. “I’ll keep it PG-13 for you, I promise.” He then grinned, rubbing his hands together. “I’ll start working on it tonight.”
You weren’t together at all times, though. No, you had class, he had work, sometimes you didn’t see him for whole days. Such was the case one cloudy afternoon around three weeks after first meeting, when Father Jimin approached you in the cloister. It had been a while since your last visit to his confessional box, so you feared a scolding.
“I wanted to talk to you, actually,” he said with that distinctive, soothing voice of his as you walked together, “about Jungkook.”
Your heart missed a beat for a reason that escaped your knowledge. It felt, somehow, as though you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t. “What about him, Father?”
“I hadn’t seen you smile for a while and now it’s all you do when he’s by your side. I know the past month has been very difficult, so it makes me happy to see you get through the loss of your parents, Y/N.” Did it really look like things were fine? Well, better that than having everyone worry about you until things got fixed, if that ever happened. “However,” Father Jimin continued, “as your Spiritual Director, it’s my duty to advise you not to rely too much on someone other than God for solace. There’s a reason for enclosure, so that the outside world doesn’t distract us from religion. Unless… you’ve reconsidered your life as a nun? There’d be nothing wrong with that.”
What Jungkook had told you that first night, you’d been chewing on ever since, but God and your parents had long won the war. ‘Honour thy father and thy mother’ was one of the Ten Commandments, after all.
“I have no doubts. I belong here.”
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The last time you’d stepped in town had been for the funeral, but Bangtan was doing a gig at what Jungkook claimed was the coolest venue he’d ever been in and he’d managed to persuade the other members to perform Rock God, the song he’d pulled an all-nighter to write. You didn’t know what a title like that had to do with someone like you but apparently, the lyrics were from your point of view.
“You have to come,” he’d begged for the millionth time across the table the previous day, interrupting your Bible reading in the library. Luckily, nobody else was there, or had been before his arrival.
‘Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’
Did that mean He would forgive you for the sin of going against your parents’ wishes? That you could hang the white veil and live how you dreamed of? The next passages from the Book of Isaiah answered those questions.
‘If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.’
In other words, you were fucked. There was no way out.
“I’d have to ask Father Jimin for permission, and I don’t think he’d let me go to a rock concert.”
You’d laughed to yourself at the idea but Jungkook had been serious, insisted, “Tell him you want to go buy groceries or something, he won’t say no to you.”
“You mean, ‘lie to him because he’ll take pity on you.’”
“Please.” He’d sank his elbows on the table, leaning so close you almost had to back away. You would have, had he not bewitched you with the most angelic of smiles. “Do it for me? I’ll tell Saint Peter I made you do it so he lets you in Heaven.”
That’s how you ended up in the queue for his concert, holding a plastic bag full of stationary you’d told Father Jimin you needed for class.
Jungkook had given you no ticket, said telling the security guy your name would suffice, and surely enough ‘Sister Y/N’ got you in. The habit had wisely been left at home, but the man still frowned at your modest outfit before putting a wristband on you that was a different colour than everyone else’s. You assumed it meant you were VIP.
There was a secluded area with round tables near the stage you were indeed taken to, where only a handful of other people were hanging out, waiting for the show to begin. You wouldn’t have thought of approaching them, as there was likely nothing you had in common, with them or anyone in the whole poorly lit venue. If you were there, out of your comfort zone, it was for Jungkook only.
The lights at some point changed colours and finally, the concert began. Bangtan got on the stage and performed song after song, giving their all to an audience that cheered loudly. You cheered too, captivated by a Jungkook who made you feel things with every look he gave you.
His blond hair was wet, whether with water, product, or sweat you didn’t know, but it dripped down his curls to his ripped clothes which allowed a glimpse of the inked skin of his torso. When had he got new tattoos? They weren’t there the day he’d got his t-shirt off for you to sew. You had never paid much attention to those that covered his veiny right arm and hand, but now you found yourself tickled by the fact, and wanting to see them up close. Definitely the tattoos, not his bare body… But most tantalising of all was the passionate way he played his electric guitar, moving around the stage with a confidence that made it clear he belonged there.
With that confidence, though, came a cockiness that had him eye-fucking every pretty girl in the crowd. Who’s to say he didn’t write songs for them too? Not to mention Amber, to whom he sometimes got so close you feared they were going to kiss—as did their fans, judging by their screams of excitement.
The last song of the night was Rock God, which he made sure to announce by enthusiastically mouthing you ‘This is it!’. You braced yourself for the lyrics.
Preacher man walked into the club, and he said He said, "Hey girl, can't you walk and not stray?" Father, I'm torn and I'm selling my soul to the Rhythm, the beat and the bass 'Cause I can't confess my rock and roll ways (Ooh) 'Cause I'm so possessed with the music The music he plays
Was the preacher man supposed to be Father Jimin? He wasn’t likely to walk in the venue right then, but the idea of him attending a rock concert was so absurd it made you smile. You guessed the tone of the song before Amber had even got to the chorus.
I can't stop my feet from dancing to the sound of his drum (Oh no) I fell in love with my rock god I can't keep my hips from swaying to his sweet melody You see, I fell in love with my rock, rock god
Oh, so not only did you like his music in this narrative, but you were also in love with him? You raised an eyebrow at that, to which he failed to bite down a smile. There must be thrill in succeeding to seduce a novice.
The next verse was similar to the first one. Then came the chorus again, twice, but it was the bridge that struck you, putting an end to the fun you were having. Jungkook watched your reaction closely, as he had during the whole song.
No, I wouldn't change a thing even if I could 'Cause I chose a path and I'm not looking back And I'm sorry if I left the angels crying over me
The chorus was sung twice more but the music muffled into the back of your mind, the bridge’s words lingering in the foreground. Would you be able to choose a path that resulted in your angels weeping? How could you? And how could Jungkook portray you as remorseless over it, when the matter was eating away at you inside?
The show was over before you knew it, and the audience slowly exited the venue while the band got out of their rockstars outfits and makeup backstage. About fifteen minutes later, they came into the area you were sat in and Jungkook bumped fists with the friends who’d come to see him in a rush, so as to not keep you waiting any longer.
Checking out your collared shirt and ankle-length skirt while approaching, he whistled. “Gee, Y/N, I can’t handle myself when you dress so sexy.”
“Because a novice’s habit is so much better.”
“There’s an appeal to it. Makes a man want to tempt you.” Earning a smile from him, you rolled your eyes. “Thoughts on the song. Shoot.”
You pouted. “Full of blasphemies. Are you supposed to be the rock god?”
“Who else?” Jungkook asked surprised. How did that escape you?
“Then why do I say ‘sound of his drum’? You’re a guitar player. Are you trying to set me up with your bandmate?”
“‘Guitar’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘god’,” he said matter-of-factly, it hitting him in the pause that followed. You laughed. “Well, yeah, neither does ‘drum’… but it does a bit more, right?”
“A bit more, yes. So, are you and Amber dating?”
Jungkook smirked. “Jealous much?”
“If you are,” you ignored his question, “she might not be too happy her boyfriend’s writing songs to other girls.”
“She has a boyfriend,” he cleared up, lifting a weight off your chest. “We’re just friends, what we do onstage is part of the show. Don’t worry, you don’t have to fight anyone to keep me.”
“What a relief,” you joked, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Listen, I’m gonna get going, it’s late and you said you were getting some drinks with Bangtan, so I’ll leave you to it. I had fun tonight, you did great.”
“I can drive you to the convent,” he offered, but you shook your head, picking the plastic bag up from the table.
“It’s alright, Sisters Joan and Theresa are still at their stall in the street market. I’ll go back with them.”
“Swell…” he said under his breath, hoping you couldn’t tell he’d wanted to say ‘bummer’ instead.
You didn’t see each other until the next night, when you broke the curfew yet again to hang out in the kitchen. Sat on the table, the two of you discussed your dilemma while sipping at the awful tea Jungkook had made. There weren’t many ways to fuck up tea, but he’d still managed it, holding the old kettle responsible.
All had begun with him pointing out you’d paled towards the end of Rock God and you telling him the lyrics had moved you because you’d chosen to finish your novitiate. There was no way, therefore, you could sell your soul to the rhythm, the beat, and the bass.
“I know I said I wouldn’t tell you what to do, but–”
“You did.”
“But hear me out. Now that we’re friends, I can’t just watch you make a decision I know you already regret.”
“I’d regret leaving too, at least this is the selfless choice.”
“Well, aren’t you a good person!” Jungkook’s mocking made you sigh and sip on your tea like it were alcohol. It did taste as bad. “Y/N, you need to live for yourself, not for two fuddy-duddies who couldn’t put their daughter’s happiness before theirs.”
“Don’t be mean to them.”
Jungkook only bit his tongue because of your pleading tone. “Sorry… Even if you loved your parents, you can’t deny they put you in a tough spot. I’m sure wherever they are, they’ve realised they were wrong and want you to be happy however you choose.”
“The thing is, they were convinced I’d be happy as a nun, that I just wanted to switch to secular on a whim. That’s why they ordered me to stay, they were looking out for me.” Jungkook almost grimaced at the word ‘ordered’, fought against commenting how messed up was the fact that you were using it in this context. Staring at the almost empty mug on your lap, you wondered whether it was insensitive of you to speak your mind. “It’s also what’s happened to you that I couldn’t bear happening to me, even if my parents are gone. I don’t want to do anything that would make them spurn me. I don’t want them not to love me,” your voice broke despite your best efforts.
Jungkook immediately stole the mug from your fingers and put it next to his on the table, so he could hold your hands. “Listen to me, my parents are assholes. Like, genuine bad people who shouldn’t’ve been allowed to have a kid. I won’t tell you the things they’ve said and done to me because you’d cry, but they are a different breed. Normal parents love their children no matter what. Why do you think yours would spurn you if they were still alive, instead of realising that they were making you unhappy?”
Good point, actually. If only it wasn’t far more complicated than that…
The second Jungkook withdrew his hands, you missed their warmth, even though it was a hot summer night. He sipped at his tea, and you suspected he only mmm-ed with delight to make you laugh, given he bloody well knew its taste was disgusting. Idiot.
“Just promise me one thing,” he added, a smirk tugging at his lips. “If you quit being a novice, go out on a date with me.”
Now, that made you laugh. “A date?”
Jungkook nodded, anchoring his foot to one of the legs of your chair so he could drag it close to his and rest his arm on its top rail, the proximity such that you could feel his breathing against your cheek. Heart racing, you crossed your arms and tried your hardest to appear unbothered. “I’ll pick you up at five and we’ll go roller-skating until we can’t feel our legs, then we’ll have dinner in my van while we watch a drive-in movie– A scary one, so you cling onto me for safety. Then I’ll drive you home, walk you to your door, and you’ll go ‘Oh! It’s too late, why don’t you stay over?’. So we’ll have some drinks, and you’ll take my hand to lead me into your bedroom, and then…”
“And then we’ll say our prayers and go to sleep.”
“To sleep, yes,” Jungkook chuckled, “afterwards.”
“I don’t know what makes you think I wouldn’t live almost like a nun if I left here. I am, in fact, a Catholic.”
“A relaxed one, I dare say. Oh, come on. You’ve never thought about breaking your faith’s rules? Not even to have fun?” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for a confession, but you shook your head.
“I can have fun without breaking the rules, I always have.”
Jungkook nibbled at his lip for a while, mentally debating with himself. Whichever of the voices in his head won, it made him say, “What if I showed you my ways? Would you be up for that?”
“Up for what, exactly?”
“You’ll see.”
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Due to the series of communal prayers scattered throughout the day called Liturgy of Hours, it was as early as five that the whole convent got up. You’d usually go straight back to bed after the first one and get what more rest you could until it was time for class or work, but today, despite it being Sunday, a few sisters had volunteered to go to the farm and help around, you and Jungkook joining them to nanny the goats.
You didn’t mind getting your habit dirty there, but it was being an awfully hot July, which was the reason why you were wearing lighter clothes that morning when walking into the chapel alongside Jungkook to attend Mass. He was an atheist whom you supposed only went to these things to spend more time with you, and that warmed your heart.
Ever since you’d started hanging out, the same less devout sisters who’d previously flocked around him had gone back to the handsome abbot’s orbit, so the nearer pews to the altar had quickly been taken. Together, you sat alone at the back, the pew all to yourselves. Three quite tall sisters were sat in the one in front of you and acted as a barrier Father Jimin hid behind of, but as long as you heard him, it didn’t matter.
Your mind went elsewhere no more than a couple of minutes into the service anyway. Tuning out seemed to be easy as of late.
It was just so unfair, all of it. You could be learning in university, meeting new people, living a normal life where you wouldn’t need to ask an abbot for permission to go out if you fancied taking a fucking walk! It didn’t have to mean you’d stop practising your religion or let yourself fall into sin at all, nothing had to change in that regard. You took a deep breath charged with frustration. If only your parents hadn’t decided to take the car in the middle of a storm and you’d had more time to make them see reason… Why did they have to die? Why did God have to take them and leave you alone?
Right in the middle of your brooding was when Jungkook put his hand on your bare knee and asked in a whisper, “Hey, are you okay?”
You forced a smile that he didn’t seem convinced by, so his hand remained on the same spot after he’d gone back to paying attention to Mass. His touch didn’t make you uncomfortable, you welcomed it and the comfort it provided, but your jaw did drop when it slowly travelled down your inner thigh, towards your intimate area.
“What are you doing?” you mouthed, petrified at the possibility of anyone noticing. Luckily, the only person facing the pews was Father Jimin, who couldn’t see a thing from the altar thanks to your barrier-sisters.
“Showing you my idea of fun,” Jungkook leaned in to whisper, lips brushing against your earlobe. It wasn’t that what made you gulp, though, but the fact that he reached your clit and rubbed it softly over your linen shorts, up and down, side to side… The unexpected pleasure made your breath hitch in your throat, gaze flying around the chapel at the speed of light. “No one’s watching,” Jungkook reassured you. “Live a little, Y/N.” Feeling his middle finger now press your clit firmly and at an increasing pace, you looked at him, shocked there was no sign of shame on his features, eyes half-lidded with arousal as they studied your worried ones. “Tell me to stop and I will.”
Stop? You were still registering something had started there, in a sacred place, during Mass! What you were letting Jungkook do to you was all kinds of sinful, but… it felt so good you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. Sobering up, he ceased his actions at that lack of consent, and was going to withdraw his hand and apologise had you not grabbed it and kept it in place down there, much to the surprise of both.
Relief showed on Jungkook in the form of an exhale. He wasted no time, then, sliding his hand inside your shorts and underwear, making you bite down on your lip when he found your clit once more and rubbed it in circles. He lingered there just enough to make your core pulsate with ache when he abandoned it to move on to your wet slit, something you had to slouch for him to do. He eased two fingers inside you that he began pumping in and out with a mastery that got you squirming in your seat, hand glued to your mouth to hold back the moans that threatened to escape it and gaze locked on the tattooed sleeve that disappeared inside your shorts.
That was when everyone started singing a hymn. Jungkook took the chance to quicken his movements, the sounds of your irregular breathing and his fingers sliding into your juices eclipsed by the song. He licked his lips, coating them with saliva before leaving chaste kisses on your neck, knowing if his tongue met it he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from fucking you right there and then. When he pulled back, he noticed you’d closed your eyes to get lost in the pleasure, and that they opened only when you felt his breath near your parted lips, to stare down at his. So close, yet he restrained the urge to kiss you, intent on watching you come.
He didn’t have to wait long, your walls now clenching around his fingers every time he rubbed that magical spot, thighs shaking as a result. All the tension built up inside of you suddenly released, and you dissolved into a daze just in time for the ending of the hymn. Not to overstimulate you, Jungkook gently removed his fingers and slipped out of the chapel. He returned a minute later with his hand washed and dry, and although you readily intertwined fingers with his when he reached out, you dared not meet his eyes after what had just happened.
That night you lay awake tossing and turning forever, unable to forget the feel of his touch.
Inexplicably, you weren’t ashamed of all the sins you’d added to the collection that day: falling into the temptation of lust, doing pre-marital sexual acts that didn’t lead to procreation, breaching your vow of chastity, desecrating a holy place, taking the sacrament while in mortal sin… Somehow, you just weren’t. You were, right after, but now it was as though you’d managed to sweep all the guilt related to it under the rug. As for the one related to your parents, well, Jungkook had been the sweetest distraction from it.
A distraction you craved again.
You must have been held sway by a demon when you got up from bed to go find Jungkook, but you were in no hurry to free yourself from its grasp.
Except for the first night, he tended to be the sleepless one who wandered about the abbey until you eventually joined him, so you knew he’d be awake. Indeed, he was on the phone in the community room, getting tangled up in the cord as he paced around, nervous. He couldn’t see you lurking in the hallway’s shadows, so you decided to let curiosity get the better of you and eavesdrop the conversation he was having.
“No, you’re not following,” he whispered into the phone. “My cousin’s friend’s brother is into this hot religious girl, and I– he! sort of fingered her in public… In a church… No, there were people present, it was in the middle of Mass… Nobody, that I’m– that he’s aware… No, Hoseok, it’s not dope! He’s going up and down the walls like a fucking yoyo... He isn’t so sure it was a good idea, fears he might’ve crossed a line… Well, he hasn’t seen her since, I think she’s been avoiding him– Agh, he thinks!... Fuck yeah, she did, and he loved it too… The problem is that I don’t want her to regret it and feel bad about it just because it wasn’t the time or place, or to never want to have sex because I got her into it the wrong way… What? He, I said he… You’re right,” he sighed, putting an end to his pacing. “I’ll tell him. Thank you, bro... ‘Night.”
Arms crossed, you couldn’t help but smile fondly. He was that worried about it? You should’ve known, you were friends after all. That was all he probably wanted to be, at least. Friends. With benefits, but friends. Who would want to be more than that not only with a novice, but with one as troubled as you?
A noise made you look up. It was Jungkook, now by the window, flicking his lighter over and over to pass the time. Your eyes inspected his fingers under the moonlight, the same ones he’d buried inside you that morning, and the longing that had got you out of bed returned to move your feet in his direction. You must’ve been abrupt while approaching him, though, as he jolted with a gasp at the sight of you.
“Y/N…” he said as he caught his breath from the startle. He had hoped you’d show up, but not so suddenly. Payback, he thought, for the way we met. “Listen, about earlier–”
You cut his sentence short with a kiss. It was soft at first, as timid as you felt, but Jungkook soon got over the shock that had frozen him and took charge of the matter, pulling you in a tight embrace. His tongue entered your mouth and swirled around yours like it was always meant to, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe. How else could it feel so good, and Jungkook so addictive?
It was a challenge, but you found the strength to step back and whisper so lowly that he almost didn’t hear, “I want you.”
“Are you sure?” Jungkook cupped your face with both hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. No need for that, they already had you enthralled, dark with the desire you’d infected him with.  
“Yes,” you exhaled, taking his hands in yours to lead him upstairs. “With you, yes.”
Once in your cell, you lost your pyjamas in a matter of seconds, both too impatient to feel each other.
Being naked and seeing Jungkook so was initially nerve-racking but once you were under the sheets, under his toned body, your bashfulness flew out the window. Especially when you saw his dick, already hard from just making out—you figured he’d been charged up since the morning. Yet his priority wasn’t his own pleasure, but yours, not an inch of your skin left untouched by his lips as he slowly travelled downwards. Until you started giggling out of nowhere, and Jungkook raised his head from in between your boobs to look at you in confusion.
“Your Barbie hair is tickling me,” you teased him as you tucked behind his ears the blond cascade that covered his face and grazed over your chest whenever he moved.
“Barbie, huh?” Jungkook whispered next to your ear only to lay a warm kiss right under it, all while he positioned himself in between your legs. “Do you want me to tickle you somewhere else?”
“Actually, I…” How did one say such a thing? “I want to tickle you, but I don’t know what to do.”
He chuckled, “My pleasure to instruct you.”
You did as he said and reclined next to him, upside down so he could touch you—he’d insisted—while you sucked him off. It did feel strange to take him in your mouth and run your tongue along the length of his shaft, at least until you heard his breathing speed up, resisting to buck his hips into your face as he was. Your cunt throbbed, and you wished Jungkook’s cock was inside it instead of your mouth. He seemed to sense that, so his hand soon crept between your thighs to remedy your ails, a whine escaping you then.
“You’re just as tight as earlier, fuck,” he groaned from the pillow as his fingers struggled to curl and uncurl inside of you, given you couldn’t keep still. It made you all the more eager to pleasure him, taking him as deep as you could so he saw the same stars you were beginning to see yourself. “You’re doing so well… That’s it, suck it harder, darling, ah… Wait, stop, stop!”
Immediately, you backed off. “Did I do something wrong?”
Jungkook sat up and used his thumb to wipe the drooling trail of saliva on your chin. “You were doing too well, miss.” Ogling your body, he licked his thumb. “Why don’t you come over here?” You nodded, would’ve agreed to do anything he asked in that moment.
He lay down again while holding your hands to guide you over to his lap, over his erection, but your sudden nerves made you shy away. Nevertheless, Jungkook pulled you closer with a smirk. “Where are you running off to?”
“I’m sorry, just… Will it hurt?”
He sat up to peck your lips cutely, “Oh, it will be excruciatingly painful,” and you pushed his chest with an eye-roll, so he returned to his previous position. He grabbed the condom he’d stopped by his cell to get before following you to yours and put it on.
A deep breath later, you grabbed his cock and placed its tip in your wet entrance, looking down at it to make sure you were doing it right. Hands between his head and the pillow, Jungkook watched patiently, turned on by your inexperience and the fact that he and he alone got to be the one to pop your cherry, make you break your vow of chastity. He thought it’d take you a while to get used to the size of his dick, but you surprised him by rolling your hips almost aggressively the second you sat on it, chasing pleasure as though it would escape from your grasp otherwise.
“Shit, yes, like that.” All flushed under you and with his eyes barely open, feeling the way you moved with all his senses, Jungkook ignited a lust in you that even an angel would be willing to fall from grace for.
“Oh my God, it feels so good…”
“I know, baby.” He wanted to dig his nails into your hips and move them back and forth himself but found that for a virgin, you were already doing a superb job, laughed instead. “Look at you, fuck. What a dirty bitch, you’re loving it.”
“I am…” you panted, his name-calling sending you over the edge. “Jesus, I am.”
It wasn’t long until Jungkook felt your walls clench tight around him, something he didn’t blame you for as he himself was close too. His cock had been burning in his pants ever since Mass, even after he’d jerked himself off in his cell when the service had finished and you’d vanished. Grabbing your wrist, he pulled you close to his mouth and kissed you hungrily, but even then, you refused to stop moving, felt too good. “Gonna come already? You like me that bad?”
I like you a lot. You were having a tough time not moaning, especially when he talked. His deep voice did all manner of things to you. “I’m so close, ah...”
“Why don’t I help you out with that, hm?”
He didn’t wait for an answer before bending his knees and repeatedly thrusting into you with such force that it had you gasping for air. If you’d known he could fuck you like that, you’d have asked him to be on top at the beginning. Eyes squeezed shut, you buried your head in the crook of his neck to moan against it as you came, finally letting go. Jungkook bit into your shoulder, not to hurt you, just hard enough to keep himself from grunting loudly as he found his own release after a few more thrusts, but your bodies remained locked until your heartbeats slowed down.
It didn’t hit you how loud your panting had been until your breath toned down and there was silence in the room. You prayed it hadn’t woken anybody up.
At some point, you got off Jungkook for him to remove his condom and go throw it in the bin next to your desk. You covered your naked body with the sheets, expecting to next see him get dressed, but he lay back on the bed. You didn’t understand.
“Aren’t you leaving?”
He scoffed. “Kicking me out, ouch. Why would I leave?”
“I thought… that’s what guys do.” At least, that was what your non-virgin sisters had told you. That men lost interest in a woman as soon as they’d had their way with her.
Jungkook shook his head as he said softly, “I’m not going anywhere.” Having sex surely messed with one’s head, there was no other explanation as to why you blushed like a teenager. The two of you got on your side, facing each other, and Jungkook started caressing your arm with the back of his fingers, the simple action so soothing you thought you’d fall asleep. “Is this nice?”
“Very,” you replied, eyes closing against your will.
“Did I go too far earlier?”
You were taken aback by the sudden question. “Maybe, but I liked it. You were right about breaking the rules. Looking back… I think it was what you said about living a little that got to me. Here at the convent, I don’t really feel alive, but I do when we’re this close.”
“See?” Jungkook asked gently, trying to make you see his point. “What’s stopping you from quitting, then? Nothing should cost you feeling alive.”
“Apart from my parents?” you sighed. “Look around. As a novice, I couldn’t receive their inheritance. Vow of poverty, remember? What you see in this cell is everything I own.” Jungkook had already noticed on his way in your lack of personal belongings. A cross hung over the bed, a small pile of religious books on the desk, a framed photo of you with your family, and little more. It was so empty and cold that anyone would’ve thought you’d just moved in. “I can’t afford to go to university, much less live on my own.”
“Well… I’ve been saving up for a while and I’m moving in an apartment with Hoseok and Tae when summer’s over. Why don’t you come stay with us? I’m sure they won’t mind!” he said enthusiastically, eyes sparkling like he’d come up with the solution to all your problems. “I’ll help you find a job and you’ll be able to afford uni, easy-peasy.”
You were too sleepy to chuckle, but a faint smile did tug at your lips because of how determined he was to fix things. Things that were too broken to be fixed. “Let’s not talk about this right now, please?”
Even though Jungkook wasn’t pleased with your response, he forced a smile. “Why, did I tire you out?” Leaning in, he kissed your lips lightly. “You’re right, let’s not ruin the moment. Come here.”
He had you rest your head on his chest, and held lovingly, you fell asleep.
Understandably, he’d left by the time you woke up. If anyone saw him coming out of your cell, they might work out what he’d been up to there and the two of you would be kicked out of the convent. His scent lingered in your sheets, but it didn’t make any less disappointing waking up without him by your side. What’s more, as you put on your habit after having a quick shower, you were assailed by the most heart-breaking questions.
What if Jungkook had pretended to be your friend only to get in your pants? What if, now he’d got what he wanted, he blew you off? What if you’d risked everything for a guy who felt nothing for you?
To your immense relief, when you walked into the refectory for breakfast, he waved at you with a smile and gestured you to sit next to him. You were going to before Father Jimin suddenly appeared before you.
“Good morning, Y/N,” he greeted warmly, as ever.
“Oh, good morning, Father!”
“I wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”
You blinked. “It is, why?”
Shit. He knows?
“You left the chapel in a hurry after Mass yesterday,” he said, “and you didn’t show up to the remaining services. Were you unwell?”
“Oh... Yes, I was.” If you had locked yourself up in your cell, it was for no other reason than to avoid Jungkook and digest the fact that he’d fingered you in public. You lied, “I was sick all day, but I’m fine now.”
“I’m glad,” Jimin said with a smile you returned, then grabbed your hand to surround it with both of his, like old people will. “I know this comes out of nowhere, but I’m really proud of you, Y/N. For pulling through these challenging times. Many, including myself, can only learn from your strength. I know you’ll make a great nun.”
He gave your hand a soft squeeze and left you there, frozen in your spot. It was as though your sins finally dawned on you, all of them at once. You’d really believed leaving the convent didn’t have to mean you’d betray your faith and here you were, sleeping with a guy you’d met barely a month ago without shame because that made you feel alive.
What had you done? What were you turning into?
No longer hungry, you left to go back to your cell, tears already streaming down your cheeks before you made it out of the empty hallways. Or were they empty?
“Y/N!” You ignored Jungkook’s voice and quickened your pace, too ashamed to face him. “Hey, wait up!” He sprinted to reach you, concern shaping his features when he blocked your way and realised you were crying and trying to hide it from him. One thing was telling him your troubles, another to break down like a pathetic, helpless little girl. In the most caring tone, he asked, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
You explained, told him how you felt.
“I’m letting Father Jimin down,” you sobbed. “Him, my parents, God, and everyone.”
“You’re not,” Jungkook kept repeating. “You’re in a period of discernment, right? So who says you can’t reach a conclusion by trial and error? That’s what other nuns have done too. Before they got here, yes, but it was doing things they later regretted that convinced them to become nuns.”
“I don’t regret last night,” you said in all honesty, “but I do hate that I don’t regret sinning... You just can’t understand, you’re not religious.”
Jungkook looked down. “Maybe I can’t, but if I know something it’s that if what we did made you happy, it shouldn’t be a sin.” He looked around to make sure no one else was there before cupping your wet cheeks and kissing you, every muscle in your body relaxing under his touch as he knew they would. “Now come with me and eat something.”
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He didn’t fully convince you, but your will wasn’t strong enough to resist his tempting.
For the next three weeks, you continued sleeping together at night, pretending you were no more than close friends at day. Whatever the time, Jungkook made sure to spend as much of it as possible with you, although not for a moment did you ever let yourself believe he had any feelings for you other than sexual. You weren’t even sure you wanted him to develop them, truth be told, as this thing you had was a fling. Come the end of summer less than a month from now, he’d move out and you’d start the second and final year of your novitiate, so whatever it was between you had no future.
Still, he kept writing you songs.
Some he’d sing quietly in bed so you’d fall asleep listening to his angelic voice, but the latest one, Church, he’d also asked you to come see him perform in a concert. And so, you’d lied to Father Jimin again, claiming the ancient kettle in the kitchen was broken and a new one needed to be bought. What’s a sin more to secure your one-way ticket to Hell?
Jungkook had warned you this song was not PG-13. He’d be the one singing it, not Amber, and he’d begged and begged you to wear one of his huge t-shirts to the concert with nothing underneath, refusing to tell you why. Leaving the abbey dressed as modestly as was expected of a novice, you changed outfits in the venue’s toilets. You didn’t know why you’d agreed to it but the first line of Church explained his request.
You're wearing nothing but my t-shirt Call me shallow but I'm only getting deeper, yeah Stay on the ground until your knees hurt No more praying, baby, I'ma be your preacher
He half whispered the whole verse into the microphone, all while his eyes pierced yours from the stage. You couldn’t look away either, entranced by his voice and presence. So far from where you were sat, how could he make you feel as though the air had run out in the whole venue?
And I'll keep leading you on If you keep leading me into your room The drinks are all gone But that's fine, baby, so am I
You remembered the date Jungkook had talked about taking you out on and how… standard it now sounded to you as he turned his attention to the girls who cheered for him in the audience. Was it scripted? Something he said to all of them to lead them on? The more you thought about it, the more you realised he’d never actually take you skating. No, you were just for keeping his nights busy.
His gaze found you again.
I'm about to take you back to church (back to church) Well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst? Yeah Baptise in your thighs 'til it hurts (you know it hurts) 'Cause I'm about to take you back to church (oh yeah)
I'll keep you up until the sunset Speaking in tongues, yeah, we ain't done yet (yeah) Don't take my verses out of context I know it's weighing on your conscience
Those last two lines… Further confirmation your relationship was just sex and that you shouldn’t read too much into anything he said, or feel guilty for sinning by having a friend-with-benefits. It was self-contradictory of you to feel down about him not reciprocating your feelings, but you did. Don’t they say love is irrational?
Despite how sad you’d got, the night didn’t end with the concert, but with Jungkook fucking you without restrain. When he was inside you, nothing else mattered.
You were in the back of his van, parked somewhere near the abbey yet not enough for anyone to hear the loud moans that each of his thrusts caused, even with the windows open not to melt in there.
“Fuck, keep moaning for me,” he grunted, gripping your waist to keep you in place.
“Keep fucking me, then…” Jungkook scoffed, would’ve commented on how dirty he’d turned you had he not been so close. You’d come already yourself, but were more than glad to let him go on until he did too.
“Since you’ve got such a big mouth,” he said, panting, “why don’t you put it to good use?”
It took him most of his willpower to pull out and remove his condom. You sat up and opened your mouth for him to shove his hard cock in, swirling your tongue around the tip before closing your lips tight around it and starting to bob your head to take all of him. A bit more experienced now and having learned to love sucking Jungkook, you knew exactly how he liked it done. You could feel it, his cock twitching against your tongue as you savoured it, letting you know he was going to come.
He pulled back again to jerk himself, and you began rubbing your clit, aroused again by the sight between your spread legs. “I thought you were done?”
“Yes, but you’re so hot…” you moaned, and he huffed out a laugh. Biting his lip harshly as he ogled your naked body and the way you touched yourself, it wasn’t long until he came all over your thighs, your own release following.
Jungkook smirked when he was no longer out of breath. “Dreams do come true.” He was staring at your thighs dripping with his cum and your own juices, and you realised he was talking about Church’s ‘baptise in your thighs’. You were about to smile when the rest of the song came to mind, and suddenly you didn’t feel like it anymore… Once Jungkook had cleaned you up with a cloth, he lay down next to you. “Come here.”
You always hoped he’d say that, even though he never failed to. So resting your back on his chest, he held you from behind, caressing your hands in a comfortable silence. It was then that you noticed the blank spot between the tattoos in Jungkook’s wrist. It was tiny, but seemed intentional.
“Are you not inking this bit?”
“I’m saving it for a small symbol, maybe a letter.” He kissed your temple. “Your name’s initial, what do you say?”
Your lips committed to it before your brain did. “Do you get tattoos of the others?”
Jungkook frowned. You couldn’t see him, but you knew he did. “What others?”
“The other girls you sleep with.” There was no jealousy in your casual tone, but it was still petty. Jungkook shifted so he could face you. He was indeed frowning, both perplexed and offended.
“There are no others,” he promised, serious as you’d ever seen him. “You trust me that little?”
“I didn’t think I had to trust you. Aren’t we just hooking up?”
Jungkook rubbed his eyes as if the confusion was giving him a headache. “You thought I was sleeping with other girls and said nothing?”
By what right could you ask him to be faithful in a relationship you planned to end soon? Besides, what if in doing so, you annoyed him enough to stop wanting to be friends? If sharing him with others was the only way to have him, it hurt, but you’d do it. You looked down as you whispered, kind of embarrassed, “I guess I do like you that much…”
Jungkook raised your chin with his curled index finger, made you look at him. He despised the sadness he saw in the depths of your eyes, the one you were trying to repress. “You’re much more than sex to me. I worship you and if I could, I’d spend every waking moment next to you.”
In a small pause, you tried to rack your brain. “Is that from a song?”
“No, but it should be. I’ll write it down later.” Jungkook nodded, agreeing the rhyme had potential. Still, he wasn’t going to let you change the subject. “Y/N, I’m in love with you.”
He is?  That did take you off guard.
“You shouldn’t be, I’m a novice,” you said anyway at your most hypocritical.
Jungkook sighed, “What’s so wrong about it? Don’t you love me?”
You didn’t want to lie to him. A smile made your lips stretch before you answered, “I do,” and softly, Jungkook kissed them. Every time he pulled back from a kiss, it felt like it had been too short, no matter how long it lasted. Like you needed more because you could never be sated of him. “Does this mean… we’re dating?”
“I mean, you’re technically engaged to Jesus, and I’m not a guy who likes sharing,” Jungkook joked before giving you a peck and returning to his previous position under you. “If you don’t wanna be just lovers, you’ll have to break up with him first.”
You answered nothing. Should you listen to him, though?
Around two weeks of bliss sprang from your love confessions, where it became hard to pretend you weren’t mad for each other in public, such as when he’d whisper in your ear how provocative you looked in your habit and you giggled like a schoolgirl in love—which, technically, you were. Your parents barely made it into your thoughts, as they were filled to the brim with Jungkook.
From the moment they were over, it all went downhill. Worse, it fell into an abyss.
You had just come out of class with other novices when your hand was grabbed by someone who dragged you through the hallway to head upstairs. “Sorry to steal her, sisters, it’s urgent!”
“Jungkook, what are you doing?” you asked as he led you into your cell in a rush, closing the door for privacy. “You can’t be in here during the day–”
“I’ve found a way.” Only then did you notice how excited he was, a grin across his face. “A way to pay for your university.”
His aunt had been the one to tell him, at the beginning of the summer, that he must plan ahead as an adult now that his parents had turned their back on him, but it wasn’t until he fell for you that he actually started doing that. He was sure he wanted you to be by his side on whatever path he took, for his future to merge with yours somehow.
You, however, knew this conversation would not end well. “Enlighten me.”
“Bangtan is going on a nationwide tour next year.”
“Oh my God, that’s great!” You held his hands and grinned with him. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Y/N, this means I’ll earn a lot of money.” Then, you looked away. “With what I’ve got saved up plus that, you can afford to go to uni, even a private one, and we don’t have to live with the boys, we can have a place of our own! On the road we won’t even have to sweat about that, our company will pay for everyth–”
You freed your hands from his grasp, said with a nervous laugh, “You’re going a bit fast, Jungkook…”
His grin faded. “What do you mean? Isn’t money what you need to get out of here?”
“I’m grateful you want to take care of me but I can’t leave, you know why.”
“Are you serious right now?” Jungkook couldn’t believe it. “Y/N, your parents are gone. I know it’s hard but you have to move on, I don’t want you to wither in this place when you have a chance at happiness.”
“Just because you chose to let your parents down doesn’t mean the rest of us want to.” You regretted those words as soon as they left your mouth, the sound of Jungkook’s heart breaking reaching your ears. Or was it your own?
It took him some long seconds to process you’d said that, then answer, “I told you how they were to me, forgive me for not giving a shit about them.”
“Well, mine are a different story. I do care about them.”
“And not about us? We can’t be together anymore after I leave the convent. Have you not thought about that, or were you going to end things like they meant nothing? Because for weeks, I’ve been trying to find a way to have a future with you.”
“I never asked you to,” you sighed, welling up. You might not have, but a part of you had wanted to. Wanted to go with him too. “There’s no way we can have a future together.”
Jungkook teared up as well, and you hated yourself for it. He was being met with unjust meanness from the person he genuinely loved. You sucked so bad.
“What am I to you, then? What have I been these past months?”
“A distraction.”
It wasn’t a lie, and that’s what hurt the most. You loved Jungkook, and yet, you’d used him to set aside the pain of your parents’ loss and the guilt that was consuming you for being a sinner. You were always going to dispose of him like a toy outgrown, regardless of everything he’d done for you.
He stared for a while, but you couldn’t meet his eyes out of shame. “That’s good to know,” he muttered before storming out, leaving you in a puddle of tears you deserved to be drowned in.
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You trudged your way to class after a grey morning in the library. There was still no passage from any religious book that excused your countless sins and promised the salvation of your blighted soul, but that didn’t worry you so much right now. What did, was Jungkook.
He was likely avoiding you—for which you couldn’t blame him—though you doubted meeting and apologising for the ugly things you’d said would be a remedy to the damage done. Not that you didn’t mean them, but they could’ve been said with tact. Jungkook’s wicked crime was loving you, after all.
So busy were you missing something as random as his cologne that you didn’t notice until the end of the class that everyone kept stealing glances at you, whispering to each other afterwards. Even if a tired demeanour wasn’t deserving of such a disproportionate reaction, you still blamed the barely two hours of sleep you’d got for your sisters’ scandalised looks, but another novice approached you in the hallway out of pity to let you know you’d actually made the convent’s news.
You froze in your spot when she said it was because Jungkook had spread the rumour that you’d been sleeping with him.
No, please... Tell me he hasn’t.
Leaving your sister where she stood and running off to find him with the disapproving gaze of every other person you passed burning into your skin, you prayed you were inside a nightmare harder with each stride.
Jungkook couldn’t have betrayed you. Someone must have seen or heard you and put two and two together, right?
Such theory turned into dust when you saw him sat in the cloister surrounded by girls like the day you’d met, playing a melody in the guitar for their attentive ears. Somehow, you knew he’d done it then, and on purpose. You started to feel sick as you approached them, whether because of the summer heat or the knife stabbed and twisted in your back, you didn’t know.
“We need to talk.”
Jungkook didn’t bother to look up as he said, “If we were still dating, I’d totally be shaking at that sentence, Y/N.”
Some of your sisters giggled, others bit their lip not to. You went red, begged, “Please.”
Albeit reluctantly, he stood up and followed you to an empty hallway. You didn’t know whether you were more upset, scared, surprised, or disappointed, but the smell of the cologne you were missing earlier managed to calm you down a little, as Jungkook’s company tended to do. Your stupid body seemed to not have caught up on the fact that he was the cause of your hurting.
“What do you want?” he asked curtly.
“What do I want? To know how you could tell everyone about us, Jungkook, how you could do this to me. I’ll be expelled! And I don’t have parents or a family that will take me back if I go apologise to them, I have nowhere to go. Is that what you want? For me to be with you because I have no other choice?”
“Of course not, we’re done,” Jungkook assured you that wasn’t his plan, which you believed. He hated your guts, his dark eyes told you. “But now you’re not tied to a place you don’t really want to be in.”
“Oh, don’t pretend you didn’t do this out of revenge.”
“So what if I did?”
You stared at him for a while, speechless like he had the time you’d last met. “And here I thought you’d proved me wrong.”
“In what,” Jungkook asked in a scoff, “becoming a nun now that you’ve been dicked down?”
The coldness of his tone stung your heart. In disbelief, you shook your head. “No, in that there was more to you than what first meets the eye.”
A grain of shock broke through the mask of indifference Jungkook was wearing, probably because your words weren’t visibly said against your better judgement this time, but while seeing him through the same lenses as his parents did. You looked at him just like them the night they’d kicked him out, in a way he had hoped you never would.
And how could you not? You’d thought you knew him, yet he’d gone ahead and ruined your life. Maybe you never did know the real Jungkook at all, who was now too taken aback to come up with an answer before another novice approached.
“Father Jimin wants to see you, sister,” she said, after which you took a deep breath, nodded, and followed her without so much as giving Jungkook one last glance.
In his office, sat on his desk, Father Jimin was quiet. Had been so since you’d come in and sat down.
One of his elbows rested on his chair’s arm and two fingers pressed on his closed lips as he thought of what to say. You already had an idea of what it would be, and it made you no more ready, fists clutching the skirt of your lap.
“I don’t know what to say,” he finally confessed in a sigh. It struck you how it was the first time in the few years you’d known Father Jimin that you didn’t see a smile on his face, or at least friendliness. He was the kind of person who always saw the best in people but right now, there was nothing good left in you. “I’m truly at a loss for words. I never thought you’d do something like this, or that I’d find out from other mouths.”
Tears blurred your sight at the memory of him telling you he was proud of you. “I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness, but I’m begging you, Father. It was the mistake of my life–”
“You broke your vows, Y/N. Defiled a holy place.” Oh… Jungkook had admitted to that as well? Chin trembling, you pressed your lips together not to cry. “Lied to me about it and God knows what else… This behaviour cannot be tolerated. You can stay in the abbey until you find a job and a place to live, but you are dismissed from this community, if not excommunicated.”
You sobbed, unable to hold it in anymore, “Father, please. I can’t let my parents down, their last wish was that I become a nun–”
“Isn’t it your wish? Were you lying about that too?” Your head lowered in shame and Father Jimin leaned back into his chair with a loud sigh. “You should have thought about your parents before getting involved with Jungkook. Be grateful they aren’t here to see you stray this bad.” He waited for you to say something, but shame kept you from it, as he was right. “You may leave now.”
Everything had happened so fast that a week later, you were still assimilating it.
Except when necessary, you barely left your cell. Dreaded both the judgemental looks of your sisters and the non-existent ones from Father Jimin, who ignored your presence whenever he had to suffer it in the chapel or the refectory. Not to mention running into Jungkook. To your knowledge, he’d been kicked out too, was sometimes seen moving boxes from his cell to his van. There wasn’t much for him to pack, so you guessed he was dragging the process. What for, you tried not to care.
That was the main reason why, helped by the yellow pages, you’d been job-hunting through the telephone. Not that it was better or worse than going in person, because nobody wanted to employ an ex-novice anyway. They literally hung up when you mentioned you’d been expelled from the convent—as expected, to be honest—but lying again was not an option. You’d learned your lesson the hard way.
Eventually, you did manage to land an interview for a job. Given it didn’t pay that well, it’d be a while until you could afford to move out of the abbey and even longer until you’d step in a university as a student, which was frustrating, but at least you didn’t need anyone’s permission to leave. Since you weren’t a novice anymore, nobody batted an eyelid at you heading outside the afternoon of your scheduled interview.
You were near the main door when, out of nowhere, Sister Daeun stopped you to talk.
“My nephew’s told me everything. I can’t say I approve of your relationship, but it does make me feel better that there was love involved. A lot, apparently,” your gaze averted to the ground, “which makes your decision to break up with him out of respect for your parents all the more admirable. It was wrong of Jungkook to make it public, he knows that, and he would like to apologise and give you the money he made this summer.”
“I couldn’t take it, sister,” you opposed. “It’s his. He needs it to pay rent, he’s moving in with Hoseok and Taehyung.”
Wait, was that why he hadn’t left yet? Because he wanted to wait until September so he didn’t have to pay for August?
“He’ll make much more when he’s on tour,” Sister Daeun insisted. “This is the least he can do for you. That I can do for you, too. You’ll always be my novice, Y/N, no matter what.” Without a second’s thought, you hugged her tightly. It was solacing to know there was at least one person who saw past your sins. “Jungkook’s gone to get the money but he won’t be here until late, Bangtan is opening for another one of those rock bands in a concert tonight. He’ll give it to you tomorrow.”
“I was just going into town, so if you tell me the name of the venue, I’ll stop by. He must be there doing a stage rehearsal.” You remembered the light in his eyes when he’d explained to you everything about the vocation he was so passionate about, how sweet his smile was… No. No. You shouldn’t feel anything after what he’d done. “I want to get this over and done with as soon as possible.”
That turned out to be yet another bad decision.
Once your interview was over, you rushed to the same venue you’d seen Jungkook perform Rock God and Church.
Paying no mind to the fans at the entrance who looked askance at you for jumping the line, the security guy let you in when he recognised you. Memories of the two nights you’d previously been there stormed you while getting backstage, especially how fast your heart had beat because of the racy lyrics of the songs and the way Jungkook had looked at you from the stage.
Now, it died inside your chest as you watched him make out with Amber at the end of the otherwise empty hallway.
He had her pinned against the wall, hands gripping her ass to press their bodies together and lips devouring hers as though he couldn’t get enough. Amber’s hands were wrapped around his neck, and she now grabbed a fistful of his hair to pull his head back and start kissing his neck. You saw how Jungkook smirked at the action, turned on by her dominance.
Both in their rockstar outfits, they looked like a perfect match, so you couldn’t help but wonder if they’d been dating all along. If that boyfriend of hers Jungkook had told you about was none other than himself.
Forcing yourself out of your shock, you exited the venue through the back as quickly as you could, saving the cascade of tears that was already building up in your eyes until you were alone.
It wasn’t that you were going to forgive him and expected his apology to come with an offer to date him again, but even after everything he had done to you, you still loved him. You hated yourself for it, but you couldn't help it. You were so stupid that you wished he'd find you there, sat on the cold concrete, and just held you in his arms until you stopped crying.
The next day you slept through breakfast, and would’ve stayed in your cell until lunch had Father Jimin not summoned you to his office again.
Curiously, this time around he looked… sorry?
“I’ve been made aware of some information this morning,” he said from across his desk with a nod.
“About me?” You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Oh, God, what now?
“I can’t answer that because it has to do with a confession, but it’s made me realise I was wrong.” He leaned in, gaze moving around as he tried to think of a way not to reveal anything disclosed in the confessional box. “I should’ve been more cautious instead of welcoming just anyone into our home. Sometimes, I fail to see beyond the surface, and it results in the harm of others. A harm I pray it’s possible to heal from.”
“I don’t understand…”
“What I mean is that you don’t have to be afraid anymore. You can go back to being a novice, or take as long as you need to resolve any doubts you might have. Whatever you choose, I’ll support you.”
“But, why, Father? The things I did– You forgive me?”
“I’ve seen you regret them even if they weren’t your fault, so yes, I do.” You frowned. “I just hope you can forgive me too.”
On your way back to your cell, you walked slowly, using all your energy to figure out what Father Jimin had been talking about. When the answer popped up in your mind, you turned around and ran through the abbey. If Jungkook had done what you thought he had… Fortunately, it didn’t take long to find him, as you almost crashed together when turning to the next hallway. Had it not been because he’d grabbed your waist in time, you would’ve fallen.
When he realised it was you, he let go and stepped back. “Y/N, I wanted to talk to y–”
“Did you tell Father Jimin you raped me?”
The question took him by surprise. “He talked to you first… Wait, I thought confessional secrecy was unbreakable?”
“He didn’t tell me, I deduced it on my own.” You crossed your arms, disappointed you were right. “Why would you do that? I can’t make sense of it.”
“It was the only way to get the abbot to take you back. It’s not like he can report me to the police, and I’m leaving anyway… I told him I made you do things and that you were scared to tell anyone.” Jungkook looked everywhere but your eyes. “I’m really sorry for outing you. It was fucking childish of me and you didn’t deserve it. I was just so mad at what you said… but I know that’s no excuse.”
A part of you wanted to apologise for that and even ask him if it was too late to start over, but another reminded you of what you saw last night and stopped you, along with the one that should hold the most weight—your parents. It was a miracle you’d been given back the chance to honour their wishes, so you couldn’t ruin it again.
“I also wanted to give you this.” Jungkook handed you an old school bag. “My aunt told you what’s inside, right? She mentioned earlier you were going to come pick it up yesterday at the venue.”
“Yes, I forgot…” you lied. “I was at a job interview and got out quite late.”
“That’s okay. Did it go well?” He shouldn’t have asked, it was none of his business anymore. The interest in you had just rolled out of his mouth before he could stop it.
“It did, actually.” Both of you knew that if you went back to being a novice, you couldn’t take the job, but neither addressed it.
“Swell.” Jungkook put his hands inside his pockets, looked at you like he wanted to say much more. “I hope you have a happy life, Y/N. I really do.”
“Wait, are you saying goodbye? You’re leaving now?”
So soon?
“Yeah, poor Father Jimin thinks I’m… Well, you know. I wouldn’t want someone like me around you girls either. Plus, it’s September today, summer’s over,” he said with a forced smile. “Hoseok and Tae are waiting for me in the van. I shouldn’t keep them waiting.”
Before he could leave, you walked closer and gave him a hug. It didn’t feel right even when he wrapped his arms tight around you and buried his face in the crook of your neck, what with everything left unsaid, but you needed to feel his warmth one last time.
“Goodbye, Jungkook. And happy birthday.”
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Two years later
“You’ll like Bangtan, they’re wicked hot,” Chloe said for the third time, rather trying to convince herself than you, as she knew rock wasn’t your type of music. “Especially Taehyung, he’s my favourite!”
The concert was supposed to start soon, so hugging yourself and rubbing your arms, you stood on your tiptoes to check if the long queue ahead was moving any faster. “Well, I’m glad they’re hot, ‘cause I’m freezing.”
She, Chloe, was a friend you’d made on the first day of university. Lots had changed.
“It won’t be long now, get the tickets ready,” she gave you something to do, to forget about the February cold.
As she’d promised, it took less than five minutes for the two of you to enter the biggest venue in town. Such was the fame of Bangtan now. You were only glad the security guy from the other times wasn’t there to recognise you, since Chloe was unaware of your past as a groupie. It wasn’t that you were keeping it from her… You just didn’t feel like talking about him.
“Come on,” she grinned while grabbing your hand, all excited, “let’s get close to the stage!”
The concert lasted what felt like an eternity.
Not only did you have to endure Rock God and Church again, which opened the wound of a relationship you still hadn’t healed from, but you also had to keep your head down so as to not be spotted by the band members.
It was going alright, though, until you made the mistake of glancing up, and saw him. And he saw you.
Minus the fact that he wasn’t a blond anymore, Jungkook looked the same as always. Not that that was a bad thing. Whether in his rockstar outfit or covered in goat milk, he took your breath away. He skipped a few notes due to the shock of seeing you in the crowd but as the professional he was, he managed to make his faltering almost unnoticeable and keep playing the guitar like nothing had happened. But he wouldn’t lose you out of sight.
You wanted to look away, leave, even, but found you couldn’t, like Jungkook had put a spell on you. A spell that only broke once Bangtan thanked their fans for coming and left the stage.
Chloe, who’d been cheering throughout the whole show, now went on about how amazing it had been, how hot Taehyung had looked. Not really listening, you automatically nodded to everything until you heard, “Let’s go to the toilets before a line forms, I really need to pee.”
You held her purse while you waited outside, recalling how Father Jimin had warned you seeing Jungkook again would only make your wound sting—to which you’d agreed! The only reason you were there was because you’d promised Chloe. Chloe, who was taking so long.
With a sigh, your eyes neglected that random spot on the floor they’d been fixed on and flew around to end up on those of Jungkook, who was walking towards you. The few people in the line to use the toilets gasped and watched their idol, but he didn’t care, walked past them like they didn’t exist. You, weren’t sure what to feel when he was finally in front of you.
“Hi,” he said with a faint smile that you returned rather awkwardly, given the fact everyone was looking at you. “Can we talk… in private?”
Every cell of your body told you to decline, that Jungkook was a book you shouldn’t pick up again even to leaf through, but your head nodded on its own accord. Hope you don’t mind, Chloe.
It was upstairs to the now deserted first floor he led you, and the balcony of which you stood next by, where you could see the few people left heading out. They didn’t hold your attention for longer than a second, though.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” Jungkook spoke almost shyly, yet his eyes didn’t leave your face until he forced them to, not to weird you out. How long had he been staring like that? But you looked so pretty...
“I’m here with a friend from uni, she’s a fan.”
He didn’t understand. “Wait, you ended up leaving the convent?”
“I did finish my novitiate but I never took the vows. They let me live there, though.”
It wasn’t a decision you made overnight, obviously, and one Father Jimin and Sister Daeun worked hard for many months to make you see it wouldn’t have upset your parents as much as you believed, much less get them to stop loving you. In fact, you were still coming to terms with it, not entirely free of guilt, but a mix of secular and spiritual life was proving to be exactly what you needed.
The university and the abbey, parties and Mass, your new friends and your family… You could have both and save your soul from damnation. Now, could you save your heart from breaking all over again? It felt like it already was, physically so close to Jungkook yet so far that an uncomfortable silence had fallen between you.
“Are you seeing anyone?”
You looked at him. Cut to the chase, alright… “I’m not. A-Are you?”
Was that a sigh of relief he let out through his parted lips, or did you just want it to be? “No.”
“I thought you’d be dating Amber.” Jungkook frowned slightly, so you went on and confessed, “I saw you together the night before you left. I came to pick up the money and… Well, none of that matters now.”
Horror painted Jungkook’s face. That was how you’d remembered him? Getting off with Amber?
“She’d just broken up with her boyfriend,” he wasted no time in saying. “Neither of us was thinking clearly. It was a one-time thing, an adrenaline rush after a concert.”
You hugged yourself, lips pressing together at the details you didn’t want to hear. “You don’t need to explain, we weren’t dating anymore…”
“Fuck, I’m sorry that you’ve thought all this time that I was with her,” Jungkook apologised anyway, gaze falling to the floor in shame. “Actually, I know that it doesn’t count for anything, but I’m sorry about a lot of things.”
“Yeah, I wish it did. Count… Or better yet, I wish I’d gone with you,” you laughed, at the fact that you meant it.
“What?” Jungkook took a step closer, as though he’d misheard and wanted to make sure he got it this time. Suddenly, you realised what an idiot you were being.
“Nothing, forget it.” You turned around to leave before the lump in your throat summoned any tears, but Jungkook took your hand to stop you. He couldn’t let you go, even if he’d been the one to leave last time.
“I’m glad you didn’t come with me, Y/N, and that you got to do what you wanted. But I do wish I hadn’t ruined everything and hurt you. If I could go back, I'd punch me in the face.”
It didn’t mean you’d forgotten, but the truth was that you’d forgiven what he did a while ago. After all, “I was also a dick to you.”
“If you’re a dick, then I like dick.”
Actually, you hated him.
You hated even more that that made you laugh but it was because of Jungkook’s clownery that you first fell for him. And you’d never stopped loving him. He smiled fondly, caressing your hand. Neither had he, it seemed.
“Does this mean you want us to…?”
His eyes opened wide, feigning scandal. “What, here? I’d sooner do it in a chapel.” You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t keep from smiling. “How about we start with a date? Say... Friday at 5pm? I know a good roller-skating rink.”
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jeonjcngkook · 17 days
What about a drabble where the oc hasn't seen jk in a while and when they are hanging out, she like finally sees him and smothers him with affection, kissing his moles and you know just giving him kisses and he's all giggly and blus.... Omg what have i done.
right where you left me | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x female reader genre(s)&au(s): sfw, fluff, romance, established relationship, domestic happiness, slice of life word count: 2.7k warnings: mention of alcohol + 1 sip bcs oc rather be drunk on luvin koo 🤤🥴 oh bet believe we r bringing back blue haired koo just 4 u sarah 🙃, making out, kisses kisses kisses 😚😚 — srsly i say it 24 times n its still !! not !! enough !! grr, ((maybe a surprise daddy koo who fuckin loves his baby ??)), how many times can i call koo 'pretty' ; the answer is also not enough 🥹 !! um, suggestive hints at sex 🫣 & jords being her typical self and never letting the est rel romance agenda go — srsly i cant do anything else 🫠. rating: mature nc17+ for suggestiveness note1: unedited asf 🤷🏻‍♀️… ive had this lil request in my inbox for a while n wanted so save it for something special. so for @caelesjjk — i hope this makes you smile as much as it did me writing this. happy bday angel ♡ and for the anon who requested this, tysvm i love lil fluff requests like these n hope to do more 💘 hopefully you also like it too
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Sighing a sigh of relief, you have never felt so happy to kick your shoes off at your front door after being away from work for so long. The all too familiar feeling of your feet sinking into the plush grey carpet beneath you fills you with a sense of comfort completely overriding the homesickness that once hovered over you like a bleak grey cloud.
The house is quieter than usual, the only sounds are from the floor creaking as you swap your shoes for your fluffy slippers filling the empty spaces. You pick your keys that you had just thrown on top of the shelf at the front door and hang them up next to your husband's set of car keys; the sight of them hanging gives you the answer that you’ve been asking yourself.. Jungkook should be home.
Making your way further into the living space, you notice that the house is kept in the exact same condition it was when you left last week for a girls getaway trip to London. There are the odd toy lying on the floor but other than that, it’s spik and span. The lack of sound from the TV, which is usually showing a rerun of Jungkook or your own favourite show is almost deafening, used to always hearing something playing in the background. Come to think of it, there are also no signs of melodic sounds from Jungkook’s usual soft r&b playlist either. 
The smell of cooking fills your nose and your mouth starts to water immediately. If Jungkook is unaware of the fact you’re home then you decide that you would keep this up and slowly tip toe into the kitchen in hopes to surprise your husband.
Slowly, you creep through the warmth of your living room and into the kitchen area where Jungkook doesn’t seem to be. You frown at the lack of husband in the room, a little worried about his whereabouts. He knows you’re returning today, even offering to pick you up at the airport when you land himself but you refused as your friend’s boyfriend was providing you transport home already.
However, as quickly as your frown came, it left when you find a bottle of red wine sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen, and sitting next to it are two glasses and you can’t help but gnaw on your bottom lip to try and suppress your smile. You decide to rummage through the drawers, pulling out a corkscrew and removing the cork from the neck of the bottle. With a pop, the wine bottle opens and the scent of the fruity alcohol mixes with the smell of dinner, which is in the slow cooker behind you and you can’t help but let out a low hum of satisfaction. You pick up the bottle and pour the liquid into both glasses until half way.. If you're going to surprise your husband then you may as well do it with a glass of wine to greet him with.
Picking up the glasses in each hand, you decide to head up the stairs to the top level of your home to find Jungkook. As you pass the stairs, you stop and look at the wall which is filled with pictures of you both together as well as pictures of your family. You smile as you look at the images of family holidays, special occasions and fun times you’ve spent together. Your wedding picture of you both is centred in the middle and you can’t help but smile wider at the image.
Dressed head to toe in white lace and tulle with a diamond centrepiece on the dress, which glitters in the picture as the camera caught a moment between you and Jungkook staring at each other with love and admiration for each other. Jungkook stands next to you in his custom made all white wedding tuxedo and a matching diamond brooch clipped onto his suit jacket. One of his hands was wrapped around your waist as the other was playing with the ends of your hair. You remember in the moment that Jungkook was laughing a boisterous and beautiful giggle right before he kissed you so tenderly for the picture.
It wasn’t an image that was meant to be taken but it ended up being your favourite from the wedding shoot.
You move on and climb the rest of the stairs slowly and quietly. As you reach the top, your head turns in the direction of your shared bedroom and immediately you see the door is wide open and the room empty meaning there is only one other place Jungkook could be. You head in the opposite direction when you see the last door at the bottom of the hallway cracked open slightly, only to let a sliver of red light into your view from the hallway.
The faint sounds of keyboard clicks can be heard as you approach the room. Gently, you push the door open to be greeted with Jungkook’s dual monitor screens lighting up the room along with the dark LED’s. The top of Jungkook’s head can be seen over the headrest of his gaming chair as you see his giant headset resting over his ears, blocking out the sound of the outside world as he continues to click away at the buttons on his keyboard, successfully managing to kill an opponent on the opposite team of the game he is playing.
On one of the monitors, you manage to see the little pop up figure of his body in the corner and notice that he’s shirtless, which isn’t something he usually does when he streams. You scrunch your eyes slightly to find that Jungkook has your eight month daughter wrapped up in her favourite white blanket resting herself on his chest as one of his hands sits underneath her to keep her placed comfortably. It’s now that you register the little snores coming from your baby girl as you lean against the doorway and take in the sight in front of you. Your little girl has her tiny palm opened and resting against her daddy’s skin and her chubby cheek pressing into the bare skin of his chest.
You hear Jungkook hum as he watches over the comment section of his stream as he continues to play, making sure to answer people as quickly as the comments come.
“...Yeah, it’s proven that skin to skin contact between newborn babies and their parents improves bonds long after birth,” you hear Jungkook say and you grin at his answer. You bought those books on pregnancy for you but you swear you caught Jungkook amongst the novels more than yourself. Every night through your pregnancy,  Jungkook would tell you a new fact that he had learned for the day and couldn’t wait to share it with you.
“It also lowers stress levels for babies and parents too, as well as promotes a healthy breastfeeding cycle for the little one. I’d do anything I can to help out _____ in any way I can. She’s brilliant. She gave me everything I could ever want right here,” Jungkook says as your little girl rustles slightly against him. “Speaking of ______, she should be home soon,” he thinks out loud.
Placing both of the wine filled glasses on top of the table on the side wall, you’re able to rummage your hands in your pocket to pull it out. You snap the image in front of you of him on the monitor with your baby in his arms before opening your thread of texts between each other and captioning the moment before sending him the picture.
Jungkook’s own phone lies on the desk with the screen up; lights up with your notification. You watch as he’s quick to grab it and clicks into the notification to enter in your direct messages together.
You [8:32pm] : {image attached} shes already home ;)
Jungkook turns around and sees you standing there waiting for him with the glasses in your hands, smiling fondly at both him and the infant in his arms. He immediately replicates your smile before turning back to the camera he has set up and announcing his departure from tonight's live stream.
Slowly, he moves out of his gaming chair and makes his way over to you. In the week you have been gone his hair has already grown out a few extra inches, the blue ends now long enough to touch his jawline. The front of his hair falls over his face in pretty black wispy curls while some fall from the sides and have been clipped back by a few of your hair clips. He’s just so beautiful. His bare chest rises up and down gently and slowly while the eight month old girl continues to snuggle herself against her father. You take in the image of intricate swirls and patterns of ink that extend over his shoulder, flexed bicep as he keeps your daughter secure in his arms, all the way down his forearm and hands. He’s just the prettiest.
“Welcome home, sweetheart,” he whispers as he bends down ever so little to meet you halfway into a sweet kiss. You reach a hand around his neck and pull yourself towards him as he kisses you, chasing his pretty cherry flavoured pouty lips.
“It’s so good to be back home,” you admit. “How long has she been asleep?” You ask as you run your fingers delicately through her hair.
Jungkook thinks for a moment before telling you it’s only been a couple hours. Jungkook had already fed her and bathed her before he started his stream, so all there is to do now is to put her to bed in her crib.
You exit the gaming room with Jungkook following right behind you. In your bedroom, you place down the wine glasses and you’re quick to sift through your wardrobe to pull out a comfortable outfit to lounge around the house in, one that you hadn’t spent falling asleep in on an aeroplane for hours. Jungkook bends over the wooden structure of the crib and places the baby inside. The latch of the crib is secured once more and the sound of her hanging mobile sounds out a soft melody.
Once dressed, you make your way over to Jungkook who is admiring you from the other side of the room having missed his beautiful wife for a week. With his hair now removed from the hair clips and almost fully covering his glittering eyes, he flashes you that all too familiar, signature pretty smile he has before reaching out for you and enveloping you in his arms.
You jump into his embrace and lock your legs around his waist from behind, cupping his cheeks as you smother each other in kisses, whispering soft greetings and compliments.
“I’m so happy to see you again,” you whisper faintly as you continue to press kiss after kiss after kiss onto his lips. “I’m so lucky to have you as mine,” you finish.
Jungkook smiles as he starts to walk out of the room, reaching for the baby monitor as he keeps you secured in his arms and you reach for the wine from behind him, taking a generous, long overdue sip. Jungkook carries you down the stairs and into the kitchen where he places you down on the kitchen island and closes the gap between the both of you, placing his lips back on yours quickly and much more demanding than the last few times.
He grins at you, a glimmer in his eye and he hums suggestively. “I’m right where you left me darling,” he winks, his accent lacing his words as you listen to him attentively.
After years of being with each other, it never stops getting exciting being with Jungkook. The warmth that was once in your tummy has spread all over, goosebumps now covering your skin. Being in his arms definitely feels like home; a sense of safety and security that you yearn for that only Jungkook can provide you.
Deepening the kiss, you push your tongue past the seam of his lips eagerly and let it tangle with his own. You both smile into the kiss as his grip on your waist tightens, pulling you closer to the edge of the marble island and further into his embrace.
You can’t help but whimper when you break the kiss in favour of leaning into his neck and kissing the skin there. You lick your lips and make sure to leave wet trails as you travel further down towards your desired target. You give the little mole on the side of his neck a sweet peck, over and over, the wet sounds of your mouth leaving his skin fills the space.
A small growl vibrates through Jungkook’s chest, his hold on you becoming slightly tighter as you continue to dote on him. It isn’t long before your kisses turn into soft bites and vigorous sucks, planting cherry shaded blossoms over the mole on his neck. 
“_____,— mm, baby, am I not the one that is meant to be taking care of you tonight.. afterall you have just come back?” Jungkook moans.
Jungkook pulls away from you and stands taller to await your answer. Gazing into your eyes, you watch as his own eyes do that pretty thing where it smiles before Jungkook physically smiles. It’s your favourite trait he has.
“And who said that was the case, huh?” You jest with a light and teasing tone before continuing, “you’re taking care of me by letting me kiss my pretty husband. You’re taking care of me by letting me make you feel good.”
The only thing Jungkook can do in response is giggle, a light sanguine blush finding home on the apple of his full cheeks and you can’t help but wrap one of your hands around his neck and the other flat against the taut, hard muscle of his pectoral, caressing the skin back and forth before pulling him back in to chase his lips once more.
The kiss is unhurried, soft and gentle, yet with a hint of hunger for each other as the both of you take your time to enjoy being together once more. You bite Jungkook’s lower lip, drawing a shaky moan out of him as your teeth grazes his bottom lip and then letting it snap back into his smile pleasantly.
You can’t help but peck at the tiny mole under his lip and smile back at him, your silent way of telling him you love him. And then a thought pops into your head, one you know that Jungkook loves that you do.
Drawing Jungkook back in towards you, you press another little kiss to his bottom lip mole before travelling a little further down and kissing on the beauty spot just on top of his chin. You make a scene of it, letting out a loud ‘mwah’ sound as you continue to kiss away.
Moving on, you find the next two moles that are top and bottom of each other close to his ear and bathe them in love and affection just like you had done to the other two previous.
Jungkook loves when you’re soft and delicate with him. It isn’t something he would admit too to his group of friends but being dotted on, being cared for and loved admirably the way you do melts at his heart.
“Baby,” he whines as you tilt your head back slightly to plant a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose, your favourite place to kiss kiss kiss.
His hands slide under the fabric of your sweater, his hands warming your skin up more than the material did. “The last time we started off doing this,” he exaggerates his words by squeezing at your hips and then removing one of them to point towards the ceiling, “that happened,” he grins as fond memories of filthy kitchen antics replays in his mind.
His words ignite something inside of you akin to fireworks as he mentions your sleeping baby currently curled up in her cot. You react by wrapping your dangling legs back around his frame, pushing him further into you by your ankles as you heat up at his words and grin at him playfully.
“And what would be so wrong with that?”
Stunned, Jungkook doesn’t seem to know how to react to your words. It hasn’t been a topic of conversation about having another baby this soon, although you both have agreed that you both want a larger family.
“This soon?”
Now you ponder his words for a split second, already knowing your answer and already knowing that you want to start trying again for another baby as soon as you can. You lean in closer, your lips ghosting his as you close your eyes and breathe in your husband’s natural scent. “Take me to the dining table, koo.”
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note2: don’t be a silent reader & leave some feedback in my asks, reblog with a nice comment or even a lil reply saying if you enjoyed — big or small, they go a long way! supporting writers is always important <33
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shina913 · 14 days
Satiated | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x Fem!Reader
Rating: M 🔞NSFW
Genre: established!relationship; PWP; smut; hint of fluff
Warnings: post-sex haze; OC is unable to finish; explicit sexual conversations; allusions to unprotected sex in a monogamous, established relationship; fingering; clit play; masturbation with a vibrator; nipple/breast play; dirty talk; JK is a giver
Summary: A week without Jungkook has you anxious to get him naked...but things don't work out quite as planned. Your body betrays you and you fall short. Will you finish the job yourself or let him help?
Word count: 1.5K+
A/N: This was prompted by a video clip from a podcast that I saw on social media the other day. I feel as if this scenario might hit close to home for some people and it's either never discussed openly or it just doesn't play out this way. Foreplay is so essential but there are a handful of times when you get way too excited and want to jump right into it with your partner. Anyway, all that to say that it takes a certain level of confidence, trust, and even love to be able to vocalize what you need from your partner. In turn, a good and loving partner will most definitely come through for you 😉
A/N2: This is un-beta'd so...I'm sorry for any typos 😥 Also posting this in honor of my first year of posting my writing on this site so I wanted a quick and dirty one-shot to celebrate that! 🍸
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“Damn…” Jungkook croaks after he pulls out and he rolls off you.
He was breathless, chest rapidly rising and falling.
While he tried to regulate his pulse, you lay next to him, staring up at the ceiling and huffed. You were confused and annoyed.
He came but you didn’t.
It wasn't his fault, though. A minute ago, you were right there with him as fucked in and out of you. The familiar buildup from the pit of your belly and tightening of every muscle in your body, signaling that you were at the precipice of your orgasm. You told him as much when he asked you.
And then, right as the first spurts escaped him, the wind died down for you and you don’t know how or why. It’s like your orgasm just…walked out of the room. What the hell happened?
You and Jungkook normally took your sweet time when it came to foreplay. Teasing each other to no end until you were ravenous.
Tonight, he was coming back from a week-long business trip. All the while, you traded naughty selfies and voice notes when you were apart.
The morning of his flight home, you sent him a video of you with your hands down your panties.
Fuck…I can’t wait to be all over that pussy, he texted.
Minutes later, he sent you a video of himself jacking off in bed and cumming into his hand.
Save some of that for me later, you replied.
You were looking forward to him coming home. He was excited to see you and you were very, very excited to see him.
He barely got through the door and only managed to get one shoe off when you jumped him. You distantly hear his suitcase fall haphazardly to the floor when you move to the bedroom and leave a trail of clothing on the way there.
You were sopping wet once you were laid up in bed and his cock slipped in effortlessly. It was delicious the way he filled and stretched you out. He warned you that he might not be able to last long. You didn’t care and thought that you’d have a quick trigger, too.
But something got jammed up.
He turned his head towards you with that post-sex glow, which immediately dimmed when he saw the look on your face.
“What’s wrong? You okay?”
You hesitate but you were too perplexed to keep it from him. “I didn’t cum,” you confessed.
He sits up right away, brows furrowed at you. “Huh? Wait…I thought...“
“I swear, I was right there,” you immediately assured him. “And then it just…it was gone.” You were at a loss.
He leaned over you with a look of sheer determination on his face. “Well, we can’t have that. I’ll fix it right now!”
As much as you wanted to, your high was fading quickly. Even if you tried to hang onto it, it would take forever to get you worked up again.
You glanced down at his cock—he’d already gone soft. After cumming hard like that, it would also take him a while to get it back up again and your lady boner would have been long-gone. At which point, you might as well just sleep it off.
You reluctantly decline. “Hmm, no…You’ve had a long flight and you’re tired. Just go shower and I’ll finish up.” You roll over and reach into your drawer where you kept your goodies and pull out your vibrator.
You squeeze some lube on your toy, push the little power button, and it buzzes to life. Before you touch it to your clit he stops you.
He shook his head and hardened his expression. “Listen, I am not going to sit here and do nothing while you work on your nut! It doesn’t just hurt my ego but…I want us both to feel good.”
You pause the buzzing to answer him. “You did make me feel good. I really have no idea what happened. It’s like, I went from 0 to 60 and then my brain just slammed on the breaks.” You couldn’t hide your frustration with your body.
“C’mon, tell me what you want me to do. I can go down on you or…” He awaits your answer, always eager to please.
You ponder on it for a second. “Can you suck on my tits while I use this?” You gesture at the vibrator.
He smirks. “Anything you want, baby.”
You push the button again to resume the buzzing. He pulls the sheet off you to expose your naked form then laid back on his side, moving closer to you.
When the toy brushes your clit, you let out one long, drawn out moan. He then dipped his head and wrapped his mouth around a nipple.
“Oh, fuck…” Your head sunk deep into your pillow as your senses ignited.
“Want me to talk you through it?” He asks in between licking and sucking.
“Hmmmm…yes,” you breathed out while you circled the toy around your nub.
“Feel good?”
“Yeah? You like when I suck on your tits,” he asks with a mouthful of breast. You look down at him and watch his cheeks hollow while he draws your flesh in.
“Yes,” you moaned. His teeth nip at the unfurled tip, sending a shiver down your spine.
He reached down to push your thighs further apart. You gasped when he slid two fingers deeply. “So wet…and tight,” he rasped in your ear.
All you could do was focus on his voice. Coaxing, urging your orgasm back to the surface.
You whined at the all-out assault from your vibrator and his mouth alternating between your breast and neck. With your climax bubbling, you turn up the setting on your toy and rub circles over your clit. His fingers burrowed, massaging the fleshy bundle of tissues within your core.
With each stroke of your vibrator on your clit, his fingers kept up their steady assault while your hips bucked against his hand. You felt everything within you tighten.
He continued to encourage and praise you. Each word pushes you closer to the brink.
You have the best tits… I could suck on them all day…
God, I love how wet you are… Look at the mess you’re making on my fingers…
You look so fucking sexy like this… Gonna cum hard for me, hm?
Finally, the knot within you snaps. At the first jolting contraction of your core, your spine arched off the mattress, and you let out an ear-piercing cry. His mouth was on yours in an instant, swallowing your moans of pleasure. His fingers stroked at the roof of your center, further intensifying your climax.
Your legs quaked and your back, the orgasm draining all of the strength from your muscles.
You come to when the buzzing stops. Jungkook tosses the toy off to the side and your eyes flutter open. You look over at him leaning up against the headboard sporting a huge grin…and raging hardon.
“Oh my god…“ You feel a pang of guilt. “J-just give me two seconds and I’ll suck you off.”
“You don’t have to do that,” he laughs.
You felt bad leaving him high and dry. “But…I can give you a hand?” You licked your lips and cock a teasing eyebrow at him. Even though your body feels like jelly, you reach out to touch his cock but he grasps your wrist gently to stop you.
“No, baby. I’m fine, really,” he says decisively. You watch him get up from the mattress and slide the sheets back to cover you up.
“Are you sure? You just gave me a mind-numbing orgasm. I feel like I need to repay the favor,” you insist.
A hearty laugh boomed from his chest. “I’m not keeping score! Besides, when did we start owing each other for sex?”
You look at him oddly, thinking he was punking you. Guys typically weren’t just content watching a woman orgasm. They’d want to get their own, too. Wasn’t it always a give-and-take deal?
Still sensing your skepticism, he marches back to you, grabs your face in his hands, and kisses you deeply.
When he pulls away, you’re left in another heady daze. “Hey…I got mine and I wanted to make sure that you got yours. Simple as that!”
He brushed your chin and gazed into your eyes to reassure you. “This shouldn’t be a tit-for-tat thing, okay?”
After a few seconds, you relent and nod softly. “Okay.”
“Good girl!” He plants another chaste kiss on your lips then gets up from the mattress again to start towards the bathroom. You lay on your side and watch his taut ass cheeks walk away from you.
You sighed dreamily. “Damn…How’d I get so lucky with you?”
He called out past his shoulder after grabbing a towel from the linen closet. “Trust me, I feel lucky that I get to help you cum like that. Shit…I’d replay that in my head over and over!”
You giggle softly once he disappears into the bathroom. Seconds later, you hear the water turn on. Even though he said not to feel guilty about it, you couldn’t help but still feel restless.
Not to mention that you couldn’t get his hardon out of your mind.
Soon, the ache built up between your thighs again. Biting down on your lower lip, you kick the sheets off and pad across the room. You were on a mission.
He looks up from underneath the cascading water to find you pulling the glass door open to step in with him. You’d take it real slow for this round…you had a lot of time to make up after all.
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You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!
If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜
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Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @yu-justme
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effortandmore · 1 month
you, after all | knj x reader (18+)
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summary: your break up hadn't been angry or contentious. he wanted to go, you never asked him to stay. it was simple, really. but when namjoon shows back up after three years, things don't seem so simple anymore
pairing: namjoon x f!reader
rating: explicit (18+ please)
genre: exes to lovers, smut, fluff (because of who i am as a person)
warnings: smut, a little swearing, here are the specific smut tags: kissing, penetrative sex, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, maybe a whisper of a hand job, namjoon has a big dick (i had to)... it's really pretty soft—they're just in love without saying so
word count: 6.8k
a/n: i haven't been able to write the things i need to write (sorry jin and yoongi), so here i am with some namjoon fluff & smut. thank you, as always, to @ugh-yoongi who is helpful and kind with reading these things. apologies for the banner quality; idk how to make it look nice on tumblr. this is posted to ao3 here if you like to read fics there.
There’s this thing about awkward silences—they’re not inherently awkward because of the absence of sound, they’re awkward precisely because you become acutely aware of every little sound around you that isn’t the one you were expecting or wanting to hear. 
The tap of his heel against the floor, muted by the thin cork flooring and then enhanced again by the way the fabric of his jeans whooshes when he jiggles his knee. The almost white-noise din of the other conversations around you, loud enough that you can pick out words but not meaning. The tinkling of silverware and chopsticks on ceramic and glass as people (including you) swallow things they think to say down with some glass noodles or spoonfuls of soup. 
No, you decide. Awkward silences are anything but quiet, they’re terrifyingly fucking loud. 
“So…” you finally start, “are you going to tell me what you’re actually doing here?” 
Namjoon looks up from his food at you as you speak, his eyes wide like they get when he’s been startled out of some (probably depressing) train of thought, eyebrows raised in crescents that sit like shadows above the rim of his glasses. Noodles trail out of his lips and hang there, resting on his chopsticks, waiting for him to act. 
It’s a perfect visual representation of the pause you feel in your whole body waiting for him to respond. Maybe somehow you are like a noodle, you think. 
You try not to laugh at the thought because you know it will send him back into some sort of overthinking spiral of dismal self-worth. You know he’ll think you’re laughing at him. Sometimes, back then, you were. But not usually.
(And he’s not the only one prone to existential crises. 
Perhaps that’s why you two had always gotten on so well. You’ve had plenty of time to think about how the two of you started and stopped, and being aligned in this sort of… well, thoughtfulness is maybe a generous way to put it… being alike in that way a little bit probably drew you together as much as it split you apart. One overthinker is enough for any relationship. Two is… two is probably one too many). 
With a slurp, he sits up and sets his chopsticks down. He’s still regarding you, his eyes haven’t left your face, you’re pretty sure. But now, it’s with the careful consideration he’s known amongst your friends for, not the surprise you clocked on him a moment prior. 
He’s still fidgeting. You can feel the vibrations of his leg when they brush the underside of the table because he’s too tall to keep his limbs to himself and too polite to stretch them out in a violation (would it really be? You’re not sure) of your space. For a moment, you think it’s out of character, and then you start to recall every difficult conversation you’ve ever had with this man in front of you. The way he would twist up his face into a scowl almost involuntarily, the pulling on his hair, the crumpling up of whatever paper was in reach, the peeling of countless labels off of beer bottles… No, you decide, the fidgeting is perfectly in sync with what you know of Kim Namjoon when he thinks he’s going to say something someone doesn’t want to hear (and also when someone’s telling him something he doesn’t). 
If you didn’t know him as well, you’d think he was stalling. Or unsure of himself. And he might be those things to some degree, but this version of him, you’re sure, is trying to figure out how to say what he wants to say in a way that you’ll accept. 
The problem is, you’ve been broken up for almost three years. You’re not sure what he could say that would even affect you like that any more. 
So, this is all a little frightening, this awkward loud silence between the two of you. 
You point the blunt end of a chopstick at him. “Joon, just spit it out. We haven’t seen each other in ages, I don’t want to waste this watching you think.” 
At that, he grins, and at least some of what you loved about him rears its head. He’s gorgeous when he’s happy—it’s contagious, too. His dimples appear, his cheeks push up into his eyes and his lips spread so wide they almost cover the span of his face. He’s really, truly beautiful like this, and when you see it now for a split second, you’re reminded of how much you used to love making him smile, how much pride you took in being the one who could almost always make him laugh. 
“Sorry,” he mutters as his grin turns from bright to sheepish. “You know how I can be.” 
That, you certainly do. 
“Well, you said you wanted to catch up, and we’ve done that, so now are you gonna tell me what you’re doing back here?” 
“I’ve been thinking,” he says, eyes dropping down to his bowl.
“Uh-oh.” You mean it to tease, not to be cruel, but his face falls a little anyway. You suppose it’s two sides of the same coin—being able to make him laugh and having enough influence to disappoint him with your words… they’re essentially the same thing and you know it. “Sorry,” you add, tapping his foot under the table with yours. “I was just teasing… Trying to make this less weird, I guess.” 
“It was never weird with us, was it?” He’s asking you, for what you’re not sure. Reassurance? Absolution? 
“No,” you reply softly. “It was a lot of things with us, but it was never weird.” 
And it wasn’t. Not when you fought about stupid shit late-night in the kitchen of your crappy apartment. Not when he took off to the city to do “big things” after uni and you just sort of… let him go. Not when your friends “didn’t take sides” but took careful measures to not invite you to the same parties, and not when he called you earlier today, totally out of the blue, telling you he was around and he wanted to see you. 
In order, it was frustrating, disappointing, lonely, and surprising, but none of it was weird. Not weird standing in his empty living room, leaning against a stack of his moving boxes and watching him pack the last of his belongings into a duffel. Not weird to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you as he fucked you into the mattress that last night before he left, whispering that he loved you and needed you. Not weird after, when you spilled tears on his chest and told him you were scared for what life would be like without him while he ran fingertips up and down your spine and reassured you that no matter what, you were going to have an incredible life. 
It wasn’t weird when the next morning, he promised you’d always be friends. 
It wasn’t weird when you both eventually stopped texting. 
It wasn’t weird when he never came back. 
But now he’s here, sitting in front of you in the same grungy noodle shop you used to have your cheap college date nights at, and things are absolutely, inarguably weird. 
Namjoon’s staring at you, still hasn’t answered your question, when the server comes with your check. He snags it before you can argue and gives you a distracted sort-of-grin when he gets up to find the cashier. 
Everything about this is so familiar and different at the same time. In your past life with Namjoon, he’d never just leave the table to pay with noodles left in his bowl, he’d never forget his manners and ignore asking whether or not you were ready to go. But him getting distracted by his own thoughts is on brand… So is the way he knocks over the cashier’s pencil cup when he tries to return the pen he used to sign the receipt. The most familiar thing is the glance he throws your way when he does it, rolling his eyes affectionately when he sees you stifling a laugh. 
It makes your stomach tumble. 
There isn’t a discussion when you leave the noodle shop, thank god. No asking if it’s okay if he walks with you, no awkward first date bullshit. Which of course there isn’t, you remind your nervous system, because this isn’t a date and it’s not a first anything really. First time you’ve seen him in a while maybe, but even that feeling’s been fading since you saw him through the window of the restaurant, sitting alone (waiting for you with his knee bouncing) at your usual table a couple hours prior. 
“Why do you think we call it a pencil cup?” he asks quietly. You can barely hear him over the car that happens to pass as he speaks. 
“We always call it a pencil cup, but everyone keeps pens in them, you know?” 
You smile softly in spite of yourself. “I don’t know, Joon-ah.” It’s a nickname you haven’t used or thought of in a long time. It feels too affectionate for what you are to each other now (you feel a little too affectionate toward him for what you are now, so you suppose it fits), but he doesn’t seem to notice, leaving you thankful for the universe’s small favors. “Humans are quirky. Language is worse,” you finish. 
He hums in response. “You’re right. You’re always right,” he agrees. 
Suddenly he stills, footsteps halting as he grabs your hand. The surprise you feel absolutely accounts (you hope) for the stupid swoop of your stomach; not the first one you’ve felt since the sun went down. “Can we?” he says, tugging on your hand like a ridiculously strong kid. 
It takes a second for you to realize what he means, but when you do, you readily agree. “Of course we can.” You move first, pulling him behind you, and it’s not lost on you when you look over your shoulder that he looks happier than you think you’ve seen him maybe ever, and that you’re still holding hands. 
You hop up onto the metal platform, letting him go, and he grabs one of the bars and starts to pull it behind him as he jogs. Your world literally spins. Arms out, you tilt your head back and puff out a long breath. It’s cold enough that you can see the smoky trail of it float above you, tendrils of steam looking like they’re curling around the stars. 
With a thud, Namjoon lands across from you on the merry-go-round, sitting to face you, legs sprawled out in front of him. You sit, too, and the metal wheel spins a little more slowly with each revolution until it’s barely moving millimeters, all of the momentum from Namjoon’s effort petering out. 
It’s weird, you think, that staring at him across from you, it still feels like the ground is moving. 
“I left.” He breaks the silence with a simple statement and you’re not sure what he expects you to say in return, so you just nod. “But I don’t know why you let me.” 
He doesn’t look at you when he says the last part, his head tilts off to the side and he leans it against one of the cold, metal railings. If he was anyone else, you’d think he hadn’t meant to say it out loud. But you know him, and you know he rarely says things he doesn’t mean. 
The first response in your chest feels like anger. He left you after all. He walked away. Of course you let him, what the fuck else were you supposed to do? Beg him to stay? You were basically kids. You still are. He had opportunities, you had a sick mom… it wouldn’t have been fair to ask him to stay. 
And then there was this: the insecure part of you didn’t want to give him the opportunity to tell you he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. That you weren’t worth it. 
Maybe you should have taken that chance. You’ve learned a lot since then. Grown up and gotten more confident, surely. Made new friends, had other partners. “Lovers,” as Taehyung likes to call them (just to see you roll your eyes at him in response). 
He keeps talking before you can let the angry thoughts have a voice. “I love being here,” he says softly, still not looking at you. “I love how you can see the stars, I love that the air smells better. I love the sea and the way it makes you feel small…” he sighs before he continues, “but I’ve been back for a week and I didn’t love any of it as much as I love this right now.” His voice gets quieter with each word. You barely hear him tack on, “with you.” You might even be imagining it, he’s that quiet. 
It almost makes you sick to not know what he’s getting at, to wish he would just be straight with you. All of this nostalgia… what amounts to a recreation of all your college dates… It’s just so much. 
“Are you pregnant?” 
“What?” Namjoon’s eyes look like they’re about to pop out of his skull. 
You let yourself laugh when you respond. “I don’t know! This just feels like the lead up to something big, you know? You’re pregnant, you have cancer, you’re moving to another country…” You trail off and then sit up straight, letting yourself get a little more serious. “What’s all this about? It feels like you have big news or… to be honest, it kind of feels like a date, Joon-ah.” 
“Feels like a date good or feels like a date bad?” he asks. 
“Feels like a date confusing,” you answer pointedly. “I don’t even know what you’re doing in town.” 
“Can I walk you home?” 
“That’s not an answer.” 
He stands then, and reaches a hand out to you to help you up. You let him even though you don’t need it, and he pulls you into a hug. Tight against his chest, things feel a little less confusing and this seaside town feels a little more like home than it has in a really long time. It’s distressing how right it feels to be close to him like this, how he smells just like he always has, how soft his stupid sweater is under your cheek. You do everything you can not to nuzzle against him in a complete violation of any boundaries that both of you might have. It’s all you want to do though, and that’s disconcerting in and of itself.
“Yeah,” you mumble into his collar. “You can walk me home.” 
You give him some grace as you walk, not repeating yourself for the millionth time with your request to know just exactly what he thinks he’s doing crashing back into your life with a half day’s notice. Then it occurs to you that he’s leading you home, which is fine except… you’re not sure how he seems to know where you live. 
“Joon? How do you know where we’re going?”
“Huh?” He gives you a distracted glance like he didn’t quite intake your question.
“My apartment, how do you know where it is?”
“Oh…” His cheeks flush the prettiest rose color. “Ah… you were at that art show in the city a few nights ago, right when I got to town, and Tae invited everyone over. We’d been drinking and the bar was closing and he said you wouldn’t be there…” He gives you a pained sort of smile. “He said you wouldn’t mind. Said you’d be staying with friends.” 
The idea that your ex was in your apartment without you knowing it is… well, it should be infuriating. But it’s not. It’s more like you want to know what he thought, if he liked it. If it felt like the you that he knew or a new version of you. If it felt familiar and different at the same time the way he does to you right now. 
“So… you’ve been in our apartment then…” It’s not a question, but Namjoon answers anyway, rushing the words out. 
“No! No.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t do it. We got there and I… It felt like sneaking around and I couldn’t do that to you. I went back to Hoseok’s and crashed on his couch.” 
“Oh… okay.” You can’t figure out why you’re almost disappointed. “You can see it now. If you want. If that’s something you’d be interested in, you know…” The words spill out in a rambly jumble. 
Namjoon stops to consider you, head tilted like he’s trying to listen to words you’re not saying. He must find whatever he’s looking for, because he responds quickly. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.” 
“Okay.” You nod but don’t move. 
“This is it, right?” 
And it is, indeed. You’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk in front of your own building, too distracted by whatever this thing is with the two of you to notice where you are. 
“Yeah, yeah. Come on up.” You punch the door code in and hold the door for him, bowing a little and giving an exaggerated gesture for him to enter to lighten the mood. 
Taehyung, the world's most interesting roommate, is working an overnight shift, so you know he’s not home, but you pray he hasn’t left anything strange out in the living room. You’ve walked into your apartment to find it perfectly spotless except for a trumpet and a dildo sitting side-by-side on the coffee table before, and though you’ve never really discussed it for obvious reasons, you’re fairly confident it won’t happen again. But not one hundred percent. 
“Tae’s working tonight,” you explain for some unknown reason as you unlock your door. It’s not like Namjoon is some third date here to fuck you for the first time, so it doesn’t matter if Tae’s there or not and he probably knows your roommate (his friend, too) is working, anyway. 
“I heard,” he mumbles behind you. 
To your extraordinary relief, nothing odd or personal is strewn around the living room or the kitchen, so you say a silent prayer of gratitude and slide your shoes off, motioning for Namjoon to do the same. 
“This is it,” you say, in your most uncreative moment of the night. “It’s nicer than the last place you saw me living,” you joke. It is, though. Much nicer. Having Tae to split the costs helps, and your art has actually been selling for the past couple of years, so that’s afforded you a little more than the old studio with a leaky shower and what was probably mold around the windows. 
“Mmm,” he murmurs as he looks around the open space. “It was nice ‘cos it was yours. It felt like you. But this does, too.”
“Water?” you offer. 
“Sure, thanks.” 
You fill up two glasses from the pitcher in the fridge and pad back into the living room where Namjoon is looking at the art on one of your walls. It’s a combination of your paintings and Tae’s photographs that the two of you thought complemented one another. 
“Your art.” 
“No…” Joon shakes his head and sets his water down on your coffee table. “Your art. It’s why I came back. That's why I’m here.” 
“Oh,” you squeak. It’s not what you expected—you didn’t expect an answer to your question, and even if you’d hypothetically received one, ‘your art’ wasn’t what you’d thought it would be. “I don’t think I understand. You want to buy one or something? You can just have a painting, Joon-ah... Friends and family discount. You didn’t have to come here for that.” 
He frowns and shakes his head again before he carefully takes your water glass and sets it on the table next to his. Then he reaches for your hand, and when you offer it to him, he guides you to your own sofa to sit. 
This time, sitting too close like you were in the noodle shop, you’re the one who’s nervous. Something’s up with him, and you’re not connecting the dots. 
“I saw your show. The solo one. Congratulations,” he says. His smile is warm like his hand that’s still wrapped around yours and it feels like you could maybe let your nerves settle a little bit. 
“Thanks. It was a lot of work, but worth it. I’m still a little surprised at how well it was received.” 
“I’m not.” He says it with conviction, and you love it. The hint of praise laced with his belief in you has always been a driver of your confidence; you don’t love that you need the external validation, but it’s nice, regardless.
“It reminded me of home,” he continues. “Made me sick for it. Like I couldn’t stand to be away from it for another minute. So, I told my work I needed some time off, and I came home.” 
“Oh… Okay. Well, I’m glad you felt something… I hope being home has been what you wanted.” 
“You don’t get it,” he says, frustrated. “I haven’t been home, not really. Not until tonight.” 
“Please? Can I get this out?” 
And there are so many things to feel, you’re not even sure where to begin, so you just listen. It’s not easy to ignore the feeling of being on edge, the idea that you think you know where he’s headed with this. Since you’ve never even let yourself consider it (you’ve really not let yourself think about him much since he left. Certainly not recently), you have no idea what to think. So you focus on him instead; the tendons that run from his hands up his forearms that you used to love to trace with your fingertips, the way he’s filled out some since you last saw him—his chest and shoulders are broader, his jeans hug his thighs tighter than you remember… He looks good. Great, even. Everything you remember but a little bit more. Like he’s become the person he was always meant to be.
“I’ve dated a lot of people since I left,” he starts. And maybe this isn’t going where you thought it was. You scoff involuntarily, and he rolls his eyes at you. “Can you just listen to me?” he asks. 
You nod. “Sorry.” 
“Not at first. I missed you. I couldn’t figure out why you never… I don’t know… Tried to talk me out of it, never asked me to stay. I thought it meant that maybe you didn’t love me the way I loved you. After a while, a few months maybe, Yoongi told me I was depressing to be around, that I should try and make friends, meet people. He reminded me that I was the one who left, not you. And he was right.”
“I remember,” you say. It comes out a little harsher than you’d intended, but maybe not ever letting yourself think too much about him (especially about him leaving) has left you with some unresolved feelings you weren’t totally aware of. Namjoon’s jaw tightens, but other than that, he doesn’t react. Maybe he knows he deserves you being a little upset. Things ended oddly fine between the two of you, it was amicable, but if you’d let yourself feel everything back then, it might not have been that way. 
“I’m sorry,” he says, voice softer now. “I needed to go, though. You know I did.” He looks at you, waiting for you to give him some reassurance you think, so you squeeze his hand. 
“Yeah, you did, Joon-ah. It’s okay.” 
His fingertips trace patterns across your wrist and you can almost feel his body get looser when you give the small peace offering. “So,” he says, “I tried. I met people, I dated people, I moved to new apartments with new roommates to new parts of the city. I tried to get that feeling back. Not to… I don’t know. Not to replace you, but to feel like I was home. But nothing worked. Nobody worked. And then I saw your show.” 
“Oh…” It’s not much, but it’s the only thing you can think to say as he pulls you closer to him on the couch and runs a thumb across your cheekbone. It’s so much, it’s such a private thing for him to touch you like you're something breakable. Like you’re his, still. It’s making you short-circuit. 
“Home,” he says in a whisper. “I needed to come home.” 
“Home.” You repeat it like he’s taken all the words you used to know and pulled them out of your head to scatter on the floor in a mess. 
His lips are on yours before you have time to process, and you hear a whimper that you quickly realize must have come from your own throat as he kisses you more tentatively than you ever remember him kissing you before. You know this is him testing the waters, giving you time to decide if you want this—sort of—and maybe this is a one-night nostalgia thing for him, or maybe this is what forgiveness tastes like, and maybe it’s a terrible idea, but Namjoon’s lips on yours feel like home to you, too, and you don’t want to talk yourself out of something that feels so fucking right. You didn’t even let yourself remember that you missed him until now, and your chest aches with something like longing even though he’s here, he’s real, he’s kissing you. 
Kiss back, you remember suddenly. So you do. A slightly shaking hand moves to his thigh as you let him slip his tongue between your lips and lick into your mouth slowly. He’s firmer than you remember when you squeeze over his jeans and tilt your head to give him a little bit better access. The kiss, which started out so sweet, soon turns into something else entirely, and before you know it, you’re out of breath and letting out another whine when his hand drops from your cheek to around your waist and he tugs you even closer to him. You can feel him smile against your mouth when you pause to breathe.  
“Is this okay?” he asks, cheeks flushed, dimples out, and hair mussed. He looks like a dream. 
He looks like he’s yours again, and you want to let yourself have this, even if it’s temporary. 
“Yeah.” You nod too furiously to even look remotely cool or in control of the situation, and he laughs. It’s not like he looks much better off with his swollen lips and the stars in his eyes. “Bedroom.” You’re up and pulling him up with you before he can argue, practically dragging him behind you past Tae’s room and the bathroom to yours at the end of the hall. 
You move into your room and barely get the door closed before you’re being pushed back up against it, Namjoon moving his mouth down your neck, over your pulse point– all his attention focused on seeing what might make you shiver and whine. So much hasn’t changed. 
It’s odd, you think, as he finds the perfect spot, to have to learn this all over with someone. Does he remember all your places and all the things you like? Will he still be patient like he used to be, content to watch you get worked up because of his touch before he lets you focus on him? Will he have new things that make him moan, are there new things he likes that he learned from someone else? All these questions float through your head as Namjoon slowly slips his hands under your shirt and pulls it over your head. 
With your back against the wall, Namjoon drops to his knees in front of you and carefully unbuttons your jeans, slipping them down your legs with your underwear, groaning and face flushing when he finally gets you undressed. 
“You… are… incredible,” he mutters against your skin in between leaving hot, wet kisses across your pelvic bone. “I’ve missed you so much,” he adds as he hooks one of your legs and rests it on his shoulder. His breath is hot on your skin and it’s like you can feel it everywhere—he’s barely even touching you and every nerve ending in your body is responding, wanting more. 
As he brings his tongue to your clit, you let your head fall back against the door with a soft thud. He was always so good at this, he still is. His stubble brushes against you and makes shivers run up your spine. He’d probably not shaved that morning—you wonder if he did on purpose, remembering how you used to brush your cheek along his chin and tell him you liked it, how it made you feel soft and delicate when he wasn’t. 
His tongue works you over in long strokes, dipping inside on occasion and you hear him practically whine when he really tastes you. There’s never been anything hotter, you decide, than his deep voice so fucked out and turned on because of you. If you could get off on sound alone for the rest of your life, that might be the one you’d pick.  
When he finally slides a finger inside you, you moan—you’re so much louder than you’d meant to be, louder than you have been for anyone in so long, but he knows you. Knows your body, knows just how fast to move his tongue, how deeply you like to feel him inside you.
Namjoon’s lips form into a smile against you as he pauses, asking in a whisper, “Can I make you do that again?” before curling his finger inside you and taking your clit back between his lips. 
“Oh, fuck…” you whine. And yes, the answer is definitely yes. “Keep going,” you say as he fucks into you, giving you space to roll your hips away from the door and into his face. 
It doesn’t take much longer for you to come—Namjoon puts a large hand to your waist and helps support you as you tremble around him and your knee buckles. With a lot of effort, you ignore the quiet, private voice in the back of your mind that tells you that you don’t deserve this—that you shouldn’t be doing this, that you’ll get hurt again. Finally, your shaking subsides, and he moves your leg off of his shoulder and to the ground, keeping a grasp on you to help you stay upright. 
“You’re… still very good at that,” you say breathily. 
“Thank you. I’m pretty good at a lot of things, I think,” he says with a wink as he stands. 
You love when he’s cheeky like this, confident in a way that you remember being one of his best traits. Like he knows exactly what he’s capable of. It’s the first time you’ve seen him like this tonight and it makes you ache for things you don’t think you can have, for the past. He’s suddenly close again, so fucking close, and you can smell yourself on his lips and you can feel that he’s hard in his jeans. He leans in, even closer, bringing his lips to yours but not doing anything with them, and running a single fingertip across your jaw to hold your face in place—no place to look except at him, square in the eyes.
“Are there things you’re still good at?” 
Oh, holy shit. 
And you’d remained upright this whole time, but fuck if your knees aren’t ready to give in now. You swallow audibly and struggle to form an answer in your post-orgasmic haze, turned on by the nostalgia and the way he’s half-whispering, half-rasping. The intimate way he speaks to you  makes you almost drip again with desire.
“Well, if you’re not going to tell me, I guess I’ll find out for myself,” he says. Namjoon grabs your hand and squeezes, then leads you to your own bed. “Do you want me to find out? Do you want… me?” 
It should be something you have to think about longer, should be more of a consideration. But it isn’t at all. Your head is bobbing a ‘yes’ of its own accord and you’re slowly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his sweater off before you really realize you’re doing it, before you can think about what it might mean in the morning. Before he slips out of his pants, he pulls a condom out of his wallet in the pocket and tosses it on the bed. 
The simple action has you a little nervous now, like suddenly this is real, and this is Namjoon, the actual love of your fucking life who left you, and he must see it on your face as you stand next to the bed, naked, facing one another, and unmoving. 
“Are you alright?” he asks.
“Yeah… I’m nervous. It’s been so long and it’s… you.”
Namjoon cups your cheek and brings his lips softly to yours. His other arm snakes around your waist and pulls your body into his—skin to skin everywhere, and it feels so good. His body really is different than you remember: firmer, broader, bigger, and you like it. It’s different, but just as good, you decide. Familiar and different at the same time, just like everything else about him. When he breaks the kiss, he finally speaks.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 
“I do,” you say resolutely, convincing him and yourself at the same time. You bend over to grab the condom and feel his hands on your ass, so you stay, dropping to your elbows on the mattress, remembering how he’s always appreciated the view from that angle. “Do you still like it this way, Joon-ah?” you ask as you push your hips back toward him a little, leaning into the familiar to calm any lingering nerves.
And instead of answering, Namjoon slides his hands up your back and down your arms, pulling you up at the elbows and pressing your back into his chest. “Yes,” he replies. “But not this time. I want to see you, I want to know I’m taking care of you. I want to remember.” 
He starts kissing you then, lips on your neck, across your shoulders, hands wrapped around you—one teasing at your nipples, one firm around your waist. You do feel taken care of, and it’s nice, you decide, to be with him again. This part hasn’t changed. You meant what you said—he’s really good at this.
Eventually, you move to the bed, and you become a little more brave, letting yourself explore his body. As you lay facing each other, you run your fingers along the ridges of the muscles in his abdomen, stroke his cheekbones, let one arm snake around his ribs and then fall to his ass. He really is firm all over, and you find yourself more attracted to that than you’d anticipated. You murmur appreciations into his skin, telling him he’s worked hard, that he looks incredible, that you want to take your time and appreciate everything he’s tried to build. 
Namjoon watches you as you test the waters, carefully mapping the ridges and planes until you take his length in your palm and start stroking him. The first time he breaks eye contact with you is when you bring your other hand down and palm his balls, softly squeezing as his eyes roll back in his head and he lets out a long, low moan. 
Maybe things aren’t so different than you remember, after all. 
You touch and kiss and whisper until you know he’s been hard long enough and you’ve been stalling long enough, and his hand makes lazy circles over your clit, no problem getting you wet again. Namjoon rolls the condom on and pulls your leg up over his hip. He’s careful in a manner that’s completely him (but you’re no longer used to from your recent hookups) as he slowly pushes into you. And you’ve been in a lot of… positions in the last few years, but nothing quite this intimate: chests pressed together, arms wrapped around each other, noses touching, and Namjoon so deep inside you, moving so, so slowly. You’re almost not moving at all, and you had no idea something like that could feel so fucking good. 
It’s slow and sweet, and he kisses and caresses you, and you realize that this is was what people are talking about when they talk about the difference between making love and fucking. 
Namjoon is quiet, quieter than you remember, but the look on his face is reverent, like he can’t believe you’re letting him do this, like he can’t believe you’re real. And you know how he feels, and you want to reassure him and whisper how much you care about him and how you think you could still love him, but it’s all too much for the moment. So, instead, you just let out soft moans of approval when he rolls his hips in just the right way and otherwise try to focus on him and the way he’s making you feel, cock buried in you, better than anything has been since the night before he left all those years ago.
Your second peak comes steadily and seems to last a while as Namjoon whispers how beautiful you look and how lucky he is. The praise has you clenching around him and pulling his climax out of him, too. 
You stay intertwined as your breathing slows, kissing and smiling with pink cheeks and tired limbs. When you’re sure you can move, you slowly push back from him and roll off the side of the bed, grabbing his undershirt. “You mind?” you ask, holding it up. “I thought I’d grab water and if there’s anything else you want…” 
“Sounds great,” Namjoon replies, a sleepy smile on his face, obvious in his preening over you wearing his clothes again. 
You try not to let yourself think too much about what just happened as you retrieve your water glasses and fill them up again. You find your phone on the counter, next to Namjoon’s, and you shoot a quick text to Tae telling him you brought someone home and you don’t know if they’ll still be there in the morning. You don’t want your roommate to be surprised by a visitor. But you know if Namjoon’s still there when he gets home, Tae will definitely be surprised. 
When you pad back to your bedroom and click the door shut behind you, you realize Namjoon’s already fallen asleep, snoring softly. He looks ridiculous on top of your sheet with the duvet kicked down to the end of the bed, his big cock soft against his big thigh and his hair sticking up in fifty different directions all over your pillow. His lips have fallen open to let his stupid snores out, and you have never been more endeared to anyone in your life. 
Like a thunderbolt, it comes suddenly, the realization that you think you probably never stopped loving this man. 
You set the water down on your nightstand and crawl into bed next to him, careful not to wake him up, even though unless something’s changed, you know he’s a fairly deep sleeper. You pull the duvet up over both of you and settle into your pillow, thoughts of unresolved and maybe unrequited feelings still clouding your mind. 
He wakes up enough to roll over and sling an arm around you, possessive in a way you like. You miss being his, you miss the quiet way he loved you before. All folded up love notes and kind gestures and small gifts for no reason. You almost let yourself tear up thinking about how big your love for him used to feel—maybe still does. 
You’re fully spiraling, deciding this was probably a massive mistake, when Namjoon strokes his thumb over your stomach and nuzzles into the back of your neck. 
“Baby? You awake?” he mumbles, half-asleep. 
And fuck, you’ve missed the casual endearment from him. “Yeah.” 
“Do you want me to go?” he asks. 
And you know three years ago, if you would have said it, it wouldn’t have mattered. That’s the real truth of it. Because if you’d asked him to stay then, he wouldn’t have, and he would have been making the right choice to leave, anyway. So letting him go without putting up a fight was easier on both of you. It was the right decision then to not ask him to stay. 
But now? Now, after tonight, you know things aren’t the same as back then. Some of them, yes. But not the ones that matter, not the ones you’re thinking about when you reply. 
“No, Joon-ah… I want you to stay this time.”
You feel him smile against your shoulder and pull you tighter into him. Neither of you says anything more, and it’s only a few minutes before he starts his snuffling snores into your hair again. It feels nice, you think as you finally start to drift off. It feels like home.  
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jimilter · 4 months
put it on me (m) | p.jm. | one-shot
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When you signed up to model your cleavage for a jewelry commercial, no one bothered to tell you it wasn’t gonna be a solo shoot. It’s unfair being blindsided and you want to protest, but A-list model and flirt extraordinaire Park Jimin’s steel-cut abs have you kinda tongue-tied. And then you get kinda too busy thinking of other ways in which you’d like him to shut you up.
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pairing: jimin x reader rating: m (18+) genre: smut | humor | pwp | a-list model!jimin | freelance model!reader warnings: swearing + lustful musings + explicit daydreams + reader is boobacious + reader is also a horny bitch + explicit sexual situations (dom!jimin, sub!reader, body worship, sweat kink, dirty talk, degradation, strength kink, praise kink, oral (m&f), throat fucking, vaginal fingering, clit biting, semi-public sex, hints of exhibitionism, humiliation, begging, rough sex, penetrative sex, cum play, breast play, jimin loves her tiddies and she loves his tiddies, Big Dick Jimin™ bec he’s literally canon, orgasm denial, overstimulation, restraints, biting, marking, a lot of licking ugh) + i am slightly ashamed of myself for going so feral, but very very slightly :| word count: 8 k note: hi, guys. welcome to filth on crack. no fr, if i were to put smack (smutty crack) in a dictionary, i would define it with this fic. idk what chemical exploded in my head. but i am very sorry for what you’re about to witness. believe it or not, this didn't happen solely due to the pictures, tho. @missgeniality bullied me into writing this, sending me pictures and filthy scenarios, to the point where i cried and sat down to do this. any yells and/or notes of gratitude to be sent to her, please. oh and @jeonjcngkook shall also shoulder partial blame for spamming me with different zoomed in angles and versions of the pictures without break. smh. ily both <3
hope y'all enjoy this while i go dunk myself into some holy water~ 😩💜
— masterlist | feedback!
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“I wasn’t told there was a… male model in attendance as well?”
The Director rolls his eyes at your words – rolls his fucking eyes as if him turning your solo shoot into a couple one should not make you ask questions. You never should’ve let Hoseok’s meddlesome ass rope you into this. You don’t have an agency for a reason, you need to stop letting your model friends affect the projects you sign. What's the point of managing your contracts yourself if you’re gonna be an idiot about them? Ugh. 
All this heavy, clunky jewelry on your nearly naked body—well, you have a white, crochet bikini on, but it feels close to nothing due its plunging v-neck and the tie-up thong—and now you won’t even be the center of all attention.
What is the fucking point?
“It’s a last minute addition because the company thinks this chain will look better on a male torso.” The Director flashes all his teeth at you, but you fail to make out any humor in this situation. “Besides, the male model is kind of an A-lister.”
Wow, even better. They signed freaking Sean O’Pry or the likes and now you’re gonna be used as a prop, probably made to lay over the dude’s body like a snake or something while you awkwardly make bedroom eyes at him and he looks off to the side and awkwardly avoids touching you inappropriately. Great. Just great. You swear the moment you talk to Hoseok again, you will—
Hold on a fucking minute.
Who the hell is that?
Your jaw slowly unhinges, falling wide and wider as a guy steps into your view, talking to the annoying Director you were contemplating punches a few minutes back. 
Oh, he’s not a guy, for fuck’s sake. This is Park Jimin – face of more brands than you can count on both your hands. With a jawline sharper than a knife, pouty lips, half-lidded eyes and a solidly built body that he must be living in the gym to maintain, he is the most sought after model of today. If a brand needs some delicious display of naked male chest or abs or thighs? Park Jimin’s their guy. No, for real, man takes off his shirt at the drop of a hat. Pants too, for that matter.
Not that you’re complaining, though, no, far from it. He looks like a whole snack in that floral printed jacket that he’s got on without anything underneath. His abs are so defined, you can literally count all six of them across the twenty feet’s distance between you two, and his dusky pectoral muscles bulge tantalizingly. 
A five-course meal is shooting this commercial with you.
Now you want to be used as a prop and lay across his body like a snake and make bedroom eyes at him and, fuck, you hope he touches you inappropriately. Which you probably won’t have to hope too hard for, given how he’s always in the news for sleeping with everyone he works with. Damn, you need to send Hoseok a gift basket after this. 
Fuck, he’s looking your way.
Short, slicked back hair bares the entirety of his forehead for your viewing pleasure, and the strong line of his brows immediately has your breath hitching. He isn’t just beautiful or sexy, Park Jimin is handsome. And ripped. Fuck, he’s really bulging with muscles with every step he takes; your strength kink is quaking. You are staring but your gaze is also jumping around his entire body because you really don’t know where to look – there’s so much to take in between the clenching planes of his abdomen, the heaving pair of his pectorals, the thick pads of his shoulders and those thighs that seem to want to tear through his pants. 
There is jewelry on him, identical to yours with regards to its make. But contrary to the single thick chain that’s adorning your cleavage, he’s got two shorter, choker-like necklaces as well, sitting prettily on his sharp collarbones. He’s also wearing earrings, which you didn’t have to because they were covering your ears with hair.
You’re so lost in sharpening your focus, that you barely even realize he is nearing you. Plump lips thin out around a straight line of teeth and hooded eyes squint in humor. 
His smirk is devastating. You’re down bad, you’re down fucking bad. 
How to ask him to fuck your throat without offending him? You don’t really care because you’re about to be very crude about it. You might get thrown off the set and kicked out of the project, but you’re willing to risk it all by going tongue-emoji eggplant-emoji on him. Shit, is he emanating pheromones? Are y’all werewolves? What is going on, why do you keep getting this urge to climb him up and rub your body all over his? You…are in love with this man. That’s the only logical explanation. Or maybe it’s your pussy that’s in love with him, but because she pretty much represents you right now, it is nothing but undying love you feel flowing from you to him.
“My pussy’s in love with you.”
Jimin’s eyebrows lift up high and higher until they reach a point where they’d be off his forehead if he was a cartoon character. 
And you get it. That was too direct. And too soon. You could’ve at least waited for the dude to finish his damn greeting. 
“Uh…” His eyelids flutter rapidly over rounded eyes, and fuck, how does he look adorable on top of being sex-on-legs? Quickly looking around the two of you, he sidles a few inches closer and lowers his stunned – and stunning – face to your eye-level. “Come again?”
Oh, you will. You surely will come again but you need to come for the first time before that. And you need to introduce yourself to him like a normal human before that.
“I mean, hello, Jimin. It is nice to meet you.” You try to put on a smile as you give him your name. Your eyes glide down his throat to land on his pecs again. A wistful sigh makes it past your lips. “You’ve got nice tiddies.”
And this is when Jimin finally snaps out of his reverie to cough out a bewildered laugh. Soon after, his face is morphing back into the panty-melting smirk you saw him wear earlier and he’s laughing with his whole body, allowing his shoulders to jump and head to shake.
His laughter is kinda cute.
You still wanna climb him, though.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he finally says to you, his words more of a wondrous exhale than actual speech. “Thank you for the compliment. Although they’re more than just nice, won’t you say?”
Your back meeting a cold metal has you hissing, and you blink in surprise at the realization of how easily he walked you back towards his trailer without you realizing. His tiddies distracted you.
“True.” You nod, tilting your chin up to fight back a shiver when your bare back meets icy cold metal once again. “They’re sort of amazing.”
Jimin’s grin turns filthy, gaze wholly unabashed as it scans your own chest. You know your nipples are pebbled because you can feel goosebumps running across your entire body. He lifts a ringed hand and very carefully places the tip of his index finger in the hollow of your neck. Dark gaze catches yours again as the digit begins a fiery journey down your sternum, running past the chain resting there, and easily fitting between the tight cleavage of your half naked boobs.
A deep gasp leaves your chest, body arching to invite further invasion from him. And he complies, bringing his thumb up to softly rub it over the skin of your exposed boob, between the edge of the scrap of crochet that’s holding it in place, and the metallic jewelry advertised over it.
"Yours, too," he mumbles suddenly, eyes glued to the tip of your breast protruding against the thick fabric of the bra.
For a second, you're lost. Because how are you supposed to keep track of your conversation when the entire set around you has faded away and all you can see, breathe and feel is Park Jimin?
But then it suddenly registers that you'd complimented his…well, tiddies, which means that he's now complimenting yours. Oh, wow. Is this supposed to flatter you? Turn you on? Or make you wanna laugh? Somehow, it's doing all three.
Coughing through a snort, you bite down on your bottom lip and shake your head. “Just amazing? I expected a higher praise.”
“Oh yeah?” Jimin's gaze comes flying up to clash with yours, mirth swimming in his brown eyes. “But I haven’t seen them naked like you did mine. This is the best you get on these unfair grounds, baby.”
Fuck, fuck, you don’t breathe for a whole lot of seconds after that. 
Wide-eyed, you trace the way Jimin’s tongue peeks out of his mouth to scrape against his bottom lip. It’s wet and soft and so red, you wanna taste it. Breathless and delirious, you’re tilting your head and inching towards him when – his other hand comes up to cup one of your tits, placed firmly against the globe in such a way that his thumb makes an easy swipe of your hard nipple.
His lips quirk up at your gasp and he erases a few more inches of distance between you two, this time nearly molding your soft curves against his solid planes.
“I would very much like to, though,” he murmurs so close to your lips, you can almost taste his breath. It is chocolate flavored. “If you’d allow it?”
As if his smirk wasn’t fucking distracting in itself, his thumb’s relentless back anf forth motions over your nipple is wiping all thoughts out of your head. Oh, God. This guy is sexually hypnotising you. Next thing anyone knows, you’ll be on your knees, ready to suck him off in public. 
Snapping out of the daze Jimin put you in, you peek around his broad body. To your relief, everyone is still running around like headless chickens and no one is so much as looking in the direction of the two of you.
Still. You might be horny enough to let go of a shoot in favor of bomb sex with the sexiest guy you’ve ever seen. But you’re not horny enough to be sex-taped by an entire studio full of people.
“Not here, of course,” he reassures you in the same low, husky voice he’s been using all this time. 
Either he read the horror on your face, or he can read minds. Maybe you’re right about Jimin’s hypnotic abilities. Wow, is this why people keep falling into his bed left and right? Ooh, or maybe he just has a strong dick game. Well. You can’t wait to find out.
“I…” You clear your throat, suddenly a bit conscious about both his hands using your boobs as stress balls out in the open where anyone can see you. You’re still destroying your bikini bottoms with warm arousal, but your brain is slowly catching up on how crazy your life will get if you made an accidental soft porn sex tape with Park Jimin in the middle of a shoot. “I’ll meet you…here? After the shoot?”
Jimin looks at you with amusement infused incredulity. “After the…” He sighs, shaking his head with a fond smile. His hands come up to cup your cheeks. “Sweetheart. There’s no afters in my life. I’m offering you my dick now – as a one time offer. It’s not a bookmark now and read later scheme, okay? So either you say yes, we slip into my trailer and I see how much your pussy actually loves me. Or you say no, we finish the shoot and forget this interaction ever happened.” He removes his hands from your face and crosses them across his beefy body, while one of his eyebrows shoots up in question. “Which will it be?”
Your jaw is currently on the floor. This guy is dangerous. He literally propositions sex as if he’s making a business deal! 
You want him.
Instead of saying it, you try to show it – grabbing the lapels of his jacket and allowing a smirk to curl upon your lips. “Yes.”
His eyes sparkle with excitement and dark promises and teeth dig into his bottom lip. “Jeremy!” he suddenly calls for your Director, and for a moment you fear he trapped you into a seductive conversation to have you kicked off set on grounds of sexual harrassment, until – he continues with a, “Take a break, my dude! I’ll be back in a while!”
Some shuffling, rustling and grumbling echoes around you. Jimin never breaks eye-contact even as he punches the code to unlock his trailer right next to your head. His gaze is so fucking intense, he makes you wetter just by looking at you.
“R–right, Mister Park! Do… do we arrange for… spares?” comes a scream back in your direction.
“You know it, Jer.” Jimin grins and you frown in confusion.
“Our outfits.”
Oh. Oh. Park Jimin really is an A-lister, huh?
You don’t get to think much on it when he unlocks and pulls the door to his trailer open and guides you in, walking you backwards up the stairs while he locks you two in. A gust of air-conditioned air washes over you when you reach the floor, sending a shiver through your entire body. But because Jimin hasn’t stopped walking, you move further until the backs of your legs knock against what feels like a chair. Knees buckling, you fall into a cushy chair and thickly swallow at the daunting sight of Jimin standing over you. You’re almost at the level of his crotch. Perfect.
But before you can even get your hands to move from their clutching of the armrest, Jimin drops to his knees and lines his face up with your boobs. Oh. Yeah, this works too. This is what he was focussed on, anyways.
“May I?” you teasingly question, looping a thumb beneath one of the straps at your shoulder.
Jimin looks at you in faux disappointment. “That color looks amazing against your skin, sweetheart. Feels like a crime to take it off.”
You blink in confusion because, um. What else are you supposed to be doing, then?
The man before you answers your unasked question with his own hands, reaching towards the cups of your bikini top to pinch the edge of each between an index finger and thumb, and pulling the cloth away from your skin. 
His eyes look into yours. “This okay?”
You’re about to splinter the wood of the fucking armrest with how much sexual tension has accumulated in your body because of his ass, and he has the audacity to still ask? Like. He’s obviously asking for your consent and it is sexy as fuck. But it’s also inconvenient as fuck because he isn’t hurrying up the way you need him to!
Nodding as quickly and rapidly as you can manage, you exhale a breathy ‘yes’ along with it, just in case he’s one of those guys who are anal about “verbal consent.” You quite possibly are an embarrassment to feminists and healthy sex advocates that keep preaching “communication during sex with your partner” and all that jazz, but – you’re a very basic bitch, right now. Tongue-emoji eggplant-emoji. 
Why’s he being so artistic about it?
And then finally, finally, the crochet is tugged away from your breasts and your twin globes spring free, literally tumbling into Jimin’s face as he eagerly leans closer. His nose presses against one of your hardened nipples, and you watch the brown in his irises bleed into black within a moment. 
Both his palms nearly scramble to lift the weight of your tits in them, fingers squeezing into the soft flesh, the intensity of which increases the louder you moan. The pads of his thumbs flick at your nipples a couple of times, until your back arches and head is tossed back. That is when Jimin releases one of your boobs to cup the back of your neck and pull your gaze back to his. The tip of his thumb scrapes around your sensitive areola, all the while his fiery gaze stares into your soul.
And then, to run your sanity completely off the track, he lowers his face to the neglected mound and, slowly releasing the back of your neck, brings his other hand to cup the curve of your breast. His dark gaze never leaves yours when his lips make contact with your nipple, but yours leaves his when he envelops the nub into the warmth of his mouth as you clench your eyes shut and cry out.
“Mm hm,” he hums around your flesh and runs his tongue across the hard peak as if he’s licking up ice-cream. “You like it, baby?”
“L–love it, Jimin…”
Humming again, he gets to work, sucking on your boob with all his might. His other hand resumes work at the same time, massaging the other tit while his thumb presses against the nipple and twirls it around in an agonizingly pleasurable motion. His teeth make no delays in joining in on the torture, brushing over your skin slowly, and then when Jimin opens his mouth wider to wrap his tongue around the entirety of your bud, they press into the flesh just above your areola.
“Fuck fuuu~k!” 
You can barely formulate any coherent thought at this point, Jimin’s occasional grunts barely registering with you, especially after he changes sides and lets his tongue lap at the other nipple he’d been abusing with his thumb.
“Jim—in,” you whine, twisting up in your place – whether to escape the torturous fire in the pit of your belly or to delve further in it? You have no fucking idea. “Please… please…”
The guy responds by engulfing as much of your boob as he can in his mouth. You scream his name this time, and he responds with a deep grunt, placing both his hands on your waist as if to ground himself. Well, he’s grounding you too, because your head is among fucking clouds.
Sounds of wet, sloppy kisses fill the space around you, making it extremely difficult for you to open your eyes. But this is the opportunity of a lifetime, so you fight against the brain-melting pleasure to pry your eyelids apart – and take in the sight of Park Jimin's mouth working on your breast. His eyes are shut and brows are scrunched up in concentration. The graze of his plump, reddened lips against your skin is the most erotic sight you have ever seen in your entire life.
One of Jimin's hand journeys down past your hip to grip onto your thigh, while the other travels up to wrap around the back of your shoulder. He pulls his mouth off you with a wet plop, giving you barely any time to react to the shivers that his warm breath against your nipple sends through you, before he is smacking open mouthed kisses up your chest, tongue running over your collarbones, until he buries his face in your nape.
Your own hands shakily move from the chair's wood that you've definitely made a dent in, to brush through his hair and glide down his back. He still has his fucking jacket on, which annoys you but also makes you moan against his shoulder because he's gonna be coated in sweat and you'll get to lick it off his body.
"Hold on tight," Jimin suddenly mumbles into your neck.
And just as you've clutched one of your hands in his jacket and wrapped the other around his neck, one of his own folds a leg of yours around his waist and the other pushes against your back to heave you off of the chair. You're barely in the air for three seconds before he presses you against the wall of the trailer, fingers digging into your thigh and nails raking a path up to the ties of your bikini bottom. When he gets there, he slips past it to grab at your ass, though, not once detaching from where he's sucking at the skin of your neck. 
"You're so fucking thick," he groans against you before pulling back to stare at you with lidded eyes. "And so fucking soft, baby."
To emphasize, his hand obscenely squeezes at your ass cheek. You jump a little, immediately whining when he chuckles at your reaction. Pulling him closer by the hand you still have around his neck, you press your crotch up against his and grind, making him hiss at the friction.
"And you're so fucking hard," you tell him in the same wonderstruck voice he used, "baby."
Not allowing him much time to react, you spin the two of you around so that he’s the one pressed up against the wall. He looks surprised but you don’t miss the jump in his throat. And now. You lean away and admire Park Jimin in all his sweaty, sexy glory. Droplets run down the line of his slender throat, settling into the hollow above his collarbones. Some escape and hang on like precious gems from his nipples. Others, the quickest of all, race down the ridges of his tight abdomen.
It is your personal mission to collect every single one on your tongue.
Pressing your bare tits up against his damp chest and ignoring the cold from his jewelry, you fuse your lips to his neck, slowly running your tongue down the corded muscles there. Jimin’s hands hold your waist, fingers digging hard every time your teeth meet his skin, in time with the whiny breaths that escape his throat. You take your sweet time lapping up the salty liquid gathered around his collarbones, relishing the flavor of his skin at every inch you cover. The two chains that fall across his clavicle get in your way, and so you shift them away with your lips to press kisses to the skin beneath them quickly, before you move downwards.
Pushing the edges of his jacket away to shove it off of his body, you swipe your tongue across both his nipples, one by one, and then follow the rivulets of sweat down his abs. At one point, you seal your lips over tight muscle and suck like a starved bitch.
“Fuck, baby, love that…”
Oh, does he? You’re gonna bite your way through his abs.
Sitting on your haunches and eventually kneeling between his legs, the smoothest course of action to take from here is focusing on the straining length right in front of your face. One of his hands is braced on your shoulder, while the other rests softly atop your head.
You look up to find his lips parted and chest heaving. Delicious. And then you pull down his pants and then his boxers in quick succession. His dick is thick, long and leaking precum. Fucking delicious.
Wrapping your lips around the angry tip, you don’t need any prompting from Jimin to swallow this gorgeous, curvy length. He meets the back of your throat with ease, massive fucker, and his fingers immediately clench in your hair.
“Like that – just like that!”
You suck on him like your life depends on it, working your mouth up and down his girth, tongue massaging the velvety skin. Jimin tries to help by guiding your head with a hand, but he’s mostly too busy groaning your name in the sexiest of tones you’ve heard him use. The sounds have the pool of arousal in your panties growing at a continuous rate. Your hands take support from his sculpted thighs, and despite the entirety of your brain being driven to worship Jimin’s dick, the firmness of the muscle in his legs still manages to register with you. 
Is this guy all muscle on bone? Given the amount of muscles you can see, he’s gotta be really fucking strong. Fuck, you just got wetter.
You go deeper, this time actually swallowing when his head is lodged in your throat, and Jimin breaks into curses.
“I’m gonna—fuck, fuck, I’m gonna fucking come—”
You grant him the littlest of refuge by decreasing the depth of penetration, but your tongue still works on him tirelessly, until you feel the guy trembling against you. That is when you bring one of your hands up to cup his balls, softly massaging the tight sacs. 
“Ahh—I – fuck, fuck, fuck – b–b–baby, plea—ah! I’m—I’m gonna—”
Biting back whimpers of pleasure that rise up your throat at the desperate mess of broken moans escaping Jimin, you pull a little away and relax your throat to push him into the constricted depth again. And you move your head on him like a maniac, having him fuck your throat because you need it as much as he does. You need him to come like this – you need his thick release flooding your mouth, rolling down your throat. You need to fucking choke on his cum the way you’re choking on his cock. You need to swallow every single drop of it.
Another knead of his balls, and Jimin is hissing your name, his body stiffened but his cock pulsing. And one – two seconds later, spurts shoot out of his length, both his hands on your head to control the force of the jerks he makes against your face. 
He doesn’t know you don’t fucking care that your nose is pressed against his pelvis because your throat is busy working the thick load of his release down its channel so that nothing leaks out of your mouth. It’s a difficult feat to achieve given how much he’s spilled, but you’re euphoric cleaning it all up.
So euphoric, in fact, that you don’t really notice when he pulls you up into a standing position and takes your lips in a messy kiss. It’s only when Jimin tangles his tongue with yours with a groan that you realize the fact that the first time you kiss those dreamy lips is with his cum coating your tongue. But if he doesn’t mind, neither do you.
But you do need to catch your breath, so you’re the first to pull away. Jimin looks at you with actual hearts in his eyes. You grin at him.
“Best suck of your life, or what?”
Rolling his eyes, he pushes you onto the bed right behind you. You fall back, spread eagle, and he climbs up your body like a predator. But his eyes hold a distinct look that you can’t place. Is this afterglow? Or was this really the best suck of his life?
“Dude.” You nudge him when he’s straddling your thighs and stroking your stomach with his tongue trapped between his teeth. “Don’t fall in love with me.”
“Too late. My dick’s already in love with you.”
Warmth floods your cheeks, at both the compliment and the callback to the first ever sentence you said to him. It still holds true, though, so you don’t protest, not even when he smirks at you.
Jimin then picks up the chain lying haphazardly across your breasts to press it against one of your nipples. And then wrap it around the nub. When you gasp in pleasure spiked pain, he pulls the jewelry away and gives the nipple a comforting suck. You hold onto his hair with a hand, the other reaching up to clutch the sheets. At the same time, he works on untying your bottoms.
The moment the crochet falls off, Jimin descends your body, pressing hot kisses down your stomach. And then he’s licking a stripe down your clean shaven mound, to slip across your clit.
“Fuck! Jimin!”
“You’re so fucking wet, what the fuck…” He groans aloud, two fingers pulling your pussy lips apart. Your breath catches at the sight of him gazing so obscenely at your wet center. “Such a tiny pussy…and it’s fucking coated with your slick, baby…”
That is the last of his audible words before his lips latch on, tongue gliding past your entrance. Your back arches clean off the bed with that first stroke, rounded lips open on a silent scream. 
“You like that?”
“Fucking love it, Jimin…”
He’s chuckling against your thigh, nose nudging at the soft skin, before his mouth is back to your folds, pillowy lips making their way through the slick skin to press a suckling kiss to your clit.
“Oh, right there!”
Jimin flicks his tongue against the nub at your gasp. “Here?”
And he’s totally messing with you now, because before you can respond, his tongue slips past your slit again, satiny soft warmth against your labia that turns into cold stiffness when it’s inside your heated channel. Then he quickly pulls out and plants a light, closed mouth kiss to the hole he just exited.
“Or here?” 
A gurgle rises up your chest at the tease, and unintelligible words tumble out of your mouth.
“Ah, what’s that, baby?” he breathes against your wetness, voice loaded with humor.
“Every… everywhere,” you manage to heave out between your tumultuous breathing.
“Fuck,” comes a hiss from him, and a hand tweaks one of your nipples while the other rearranges your body to push you further up on the bed.
Trembles run through your legs when Jimin’s hands brace against the underside of your thighs to push them apart. He delves in with teeth this time, nipping at your turgid bundle of nerves before he pushes his blunt front teeth up against its hood to allow his tongue complete, unobstructed access to wrap around your clit. And you sob, breathless and shaking, your mind a blank slate, at the precipice of exploding with blinding pleasure.
Jimin shifts his focus, then, running his teeth past your clit and making you shriek in surprised pleasure as if it's nothing, and pushes his tongue in you again. This time, he is rough and strong, plunging deep into your heat with that long tongue of his, and licking up your juices from inside of you. The motion sends your mind spiraling through a frenzy, which combined with the rhythmic bumping of his plump upper lip against your clit, has you at the brink of your release in no time.
Whimpering, you reach out to fist a hand in the tuft of his thick hair, and brace the other one on the forearm he has wrapped around your thigh. You blink down at him through crusty, wet eyelashes, moaning loudly at the lewd sight of his head pressed up between your legs. Alerted by your touch and sounds, his eyes flutter up, meeting yours across the span of your body, through the valley of your breasts. They house molten desire, thick and swirly, and all you can do is shudder uncontrollably when that gaze pushes you off the cliff.
“F–f–fuck, I’m coming, I’m—oh fuck!”
The walls of your pussy clamp down on his tongue, convulsing as they push out your juices all over his mouth, while your entire body breaks into gooseflesh, warm spasms wrecking you from head to toe under the weight of the climax that crashes into you.
Jimin licks you clean through it, and by the time you’ve stopped shaking and can recollect your brain which feels as if it has been spilled all over the place, he’s kissing his way up your body. Tongue licking a line across your lower tummy, he sucks a bruise into your waist.
“J–Jimin,” you call for him, weak and desperate, but with no idea about what you want from him.
He responds by biting into the flesh right beneath your belly-button. “I got you, baby…”
Does he? He probably knows what you want.
Slowly crawling up to hover above you on his hands and knees, Jimin entire focus is on the chain that dangles from his neck and drags up your abdomen, the small cold spherical metallic pendant cutting a line of goosebumps across your sternum, to rest snugly in your collarbones. But Jimin isn’t satisfied with that, so he moves himself a couple inches lower, rolling the metal ball down your body and running it up the slope of one of your breasts to rest it next to the bunched up bikini top he's got tucked beneath your boobs.
"Nah, this needs to go," he suddenly muses out loud, grabbing at the fabric along with your chain that’s entwined with it, and pulling them above your boobs, prompting you to raise your arms as he rolls the material away from your head.
Just as the fabric and chain combination touches your wrists, though, he stops. Tilts his head to a side to observe it, squinting at your wrists with a dark gaze, and then he does something that tightens the cloth and metal over your wrists. 
Oh. You're – oh. He's tied your hands together. They now rest against the wall above the pillow on his bed, and damn, it shouldn't be as arousing as it is. But the intensity of Jimin's stare when he scans your naked body from top to bottom has your breath catching and mouth drying up.
"Such a beautiful, beautiful body," he slowly whispers, his words condensing in the heated space between you two. One of his hands reaches up to paw at your boob, while the other grabs at the flesh on your hip. "So fucking responsive," he hisses when your nipple hardens within seconds, and swoops down to lick a wet strip across it. 
You shiver, proving his words, and blink up at him in anticipation. You must’ve released nothing short of a lake of wetness on his covers at this point, and every little ministration from him is just turning it into a sea.
Removing the hand on your hip to relocate it between your legs, Jimin brushes his finger lightly through your swollen folds. His gaze stays steady on yours, while your eyes roll into the back of your head.
"Look at all these juices this sweet pussy keeps leaking," he sighs, bringing his hand up to show you his glistening digits that you are able to focus on with much difficulty. "Soaking my fingers when I haven't even entered you yet, baby?"
He pops them into his mouth, shutting his eyes to clean them up with a lewd slurp. Then his lids part again, heavier than before, and his fingers return to your center.
"This is the pussy that's in love with me, huh?"
Surprised at the question – more like shocked at the realization that he hasn’t let go of this, yet – you gape at him cluelessly. That is all it takes for his hand to clench in a rough squeeze on your boob in punishment.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck. You're going to die if this man doesn’t fuck you soon.
"Y–yes, Jimin," you whimper.
"You were so ready to throw yourself at me outside, baby," he mocks you in a sweet voice, quite opposite to the rough thrust his fingers make inside of you at the same time. "My pretty little slut… Would’ve let me fuck her out there if I wanted… Ready to let me strip and bend her over in public because she was dripping, huh? Such a pretty little slut…”
His fingers smash against your g-spot at a bruising pace, cleansing your mind of all thoughts that don’t comprise the pressure building your abdomen, Jimin’s dark eyes and his clenched jaw. 
Tunnel visioned and unilateral minded, you do not catch the context of his next question at all: "Aren’t you?"
Your body jumps with each rough push of his index and middle finger inside of you, and your brain refuses to cooperate.
Jimin’s hand on your boob jostles you, eyebrows furrowing as if in anger, but then he clarifies, "Tell me you're my pretty little slut.”
"I–I–I’m your… your lih–little s–s–s–slut!" you struggle to formulate, brainlessly parroting his words while your eyes seal shut and tears accumulate at the corners.
"Pretty!" he admonishes, reminding you of the word you missed by twisting your nipple.
You jump, whimpering in pain but moaning in pleasure because Jimin’s warm mouth is right there to lick the sting away from the sensitive bud. Roughly swallowing past your dry throat, you frown to focus on the instructions given to you, and try again.
"P–pretty… pretty little slu–slut!"
"Whose pretty little slut?"
Oh that you do know. "Yours! Jimin's!"
"Look at you, fuck.” Jimin groans and you hear some rustling before he’s hovering over you, a hand braced next to your head, his bulging bicep next to your face and his lips skimming up your jaw. “Do you wanna come, baby?”
"Yes! Please, Jimin! Please make me come!” 
His nose nudges against yours before his tongue licks at your lower lip. “You want it that bad? What will you do for it?”
You seriously do not have any braincells left to come up with crazy promises, so you settle on, “Anything!”
“Oh? Is that so? You’d do anything to come for me?"
And you’re just nodding, accepting his kisses despite the burn in your lungs, literally risking it all to just have this knot behind your belly-button explode into a mind-blowing release.
“Should I open the doors? Invite the entire set to watch what a filthy whore we have here, hm?”
You have never in your life considered yourself to be an exhibtionist in any capacity, and so his words make your eyes flutter open in confusion. But – what confuses you more, is the sudden clench your pussy gives at the prospect, making both yours and Jimin’s eyes widen. You tug at your restraints when he grins, shaking your head to clarify that you’re not actually a whore, this is probably just an ego thing because being pressed between Park Jimin and his bed is an honor. 
But just then, he is pulling his fingers out of you with a loud squelch, leaving you shrieking, gasping, stunned – bereft. “Jimin! What—I was so clo—mmph!”
His wet fingers shut you up, sliding through your lips to settle on your tongue. Then he raises an eyebrow. “Whores don’t get to come, baby. Only good girls do.”
You try to speak with his fingers literally in your mouth and a garbled bunch of nothing comes out. Jimin chuckles.
“What? You’re a good girl, now?”
You nod your head, wide-eyed and empty-lunged. 
“Oh, sweetheart.” He presses a messy kiss to the underside of your jaw, smiling so wide, his eyes squint. “A good girl cleans up after her. You wanna be a good girl?”
Eyes rounded further, you nod harder.
“Lick my fingers clean.”
With a gusty inhale through your nose, you lick over and around his digits. Spit dribbles down the side of your mouth, but neither you nor Jimin care, your gazes trained on each other. His own mouth parts after a while, tongue resting at one corner as he slowly extracts his now clean fingers. Wow, you did a good job.
Smacking your lips, you puff up your chest and flash him a smile. But the action presses your breasts up against his chest, and Jimin snaps. Shuffling around the drawer next to the bed for a foil packet, he’s quickly covering his stiff cock in rubber. He’s so fucking hard again, you’re in love with his dick.
And then he has your thighs spread and fitted around his waist, while his strong hands press into your forearms to keep them in place above your head, and – fuck. 
His necklace is dangling between the two of you.
Swinging daintily, seductively, from his body to yours, the pendant skims your heated, sweat soaked tits with its cold, smooth surface. And Jimin watches that movement in transfixation.
“Need you to fuck me…”
His gaze slowly rises to yours, lips twisted and eyebrows lowered. “Do you, baby?”
“Are you a good girl now?”
You nod vigorously. “Very good girl, Jimin.”
He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “Mm hm. We’ll see how good you actually are, sweetheart…” Lining himself up with a hand, he begins to push inside of you. “Tell me if it hurts.”
Catching the serious look on his face, you give a quick nod. He’s an attentive lover and it’s amazing of him to be so aware because he’s fucking huge down there. But. Right now, you think it will hurt you more if he doesn’t enter you.
Gradually inching in until his thick length is all the way in you, he moves one hand to hold onto your makeshift handcuff, while he braces the other on your ribcage, beneath your boob. And fuck, he fills you up so good. 
After he’s made one – two – three experimentive, light thrusts, he picks up pace. And then he fucking rocks your world, going hard as hell to pound against that one sensitive spot withing your channel that is normally elusive to your lovers, but this man apparently has a superpower of locating with every appendage of his. 
Sweat builds, collects and then drips down his body, as it does yours, and the entirety of the trailer seems to shake a little – but the way Jimin’s necklace dangles between you two occupies all of your focus. You stare at the strangely seductive sight, mesmerized, until the pressure in your pelvis builds again and forces you to shut your eyes.
“Ah, what’s this?” Jimin pants into your ear, flicking his tongue over the earlobe. “Are you close already?”
That sounds like a trick question, but you can’t really lie when he is literally inside of you and can feel your walls tightening. “Yes…”
“That doesn’t sound like a good girl to me, baby… Didn’t you say you were a very good girl?” He clicks his tongue, brushing his lips over yours to breathe out, “You gotta wait for me, sweetheart. Good girls wait.”
The promise of praise has your entire body locking in itself to contain the surges of pleasure from flowing to the last of your nerve endings, but it's hard. Because the way Jimin is leaning over your body makes his hips meet yours such that they press up against your clit with every stroke. 
You give up and sob, bleary eyes opening to look at Jimin’s concentrated face. “I’m very—ah! V–very close, Jimin… C–ca–can’t—”
“You can’t hold it?” he snarls, expressions morphing into one of determination. “Whores don’t get to come, remember?”
And you predict it before he even makes the move, so you dig your heels into the plump cushions of his ass, keeping him from pulling out, with a whine of, “No~o! No, please, I’ll – I’ll hold it! Promise! Just – just don’t fucking stop, Jimin!”
He nibbles on his bottom lip, forehead in a crease as he looks at you, movements slowed down but not stopped. “I really don’t wanna stop, baby,” he tells you with a pout, grabbing your jaw with his fingers digging in on one side and thumb on the other. “So you better not fucking come.” With gritted teeth, he lifts your hips off the bed and fucks you harder. “Ah shit! Look at how good you take it, fuck… Tight fucking pussy – so sweet!” 
He then buries his face in your boobs, licking up and around the globes, while you clench your eyes as tightly shut as you can, gritting your teeth to stop the fire from spreading through your body. 
After one particularly hard thrust that seems to reach your womb, though, you’re at the verge of breaking. You will either explode in an orgasm or fucking die of depravation. And so you shake your head, sobbing so hard, your tears spill on to Jimin’s hair.
“I–I–I can’t, Jimin, I really really really—please let me c–c–c–come! Please please ple~ase, Jimin—”
“Fuck, baby,” he moans against your nipple, lifting his head to look at you through troubled eyes. “You’re fucking killing me with that begging—so fucking delectable!”
You’re still blinking in bewilderment when he reaches up to pull your lips in a kiss. Teeth biting into your lip and tongue licking against yours, he pulls back within just seconds and tips his forehead against yours.
And then, in a soft whisper that feels more intimate and softer than anything you’ve shared with him so far, Jimin tells you, “Come for me, my good girl.”
Your pussy gets the message before your ears do, and it clamps down hard on his dick – making Jimin gasp with his puffy lips perfectly rounded and wide eyes looking into yours. It loosens that grip just the next moment, though, delving into a series of convulsions that churn out Jimin’s impending orgasm out of him, too. Your eyes close at some point, too lost to the electricity flowing through your veins and the explosions happening in every corner of your head. With your legs still locked around him, you both shudder through your orgasms together, twitching and whimpering for a while after the waves have rolled over and ceased.
Catching your breath is harder than you thought, and opening your eyes is something you don’t even wanna do. Jimin pulls out from you with a muted curse and you feel him leave you alone on the bed. Then, too, you keep your eyes shut, drained out of energy.
But you do open them eventually when you feel his hands untangling yours from the confines of crochet and metal. And it’s embarrassing how the sight of his naked chest, inches from you, sends a spasm through your body again– when you’ve just had your world knocked off its axis by the force of the orgasm he gave you.
“There,” Jimin tells you in a rasp, sounding fully fucked out, but just as delicious as before. “Your hands feel okay?”
You pull them down, wincing a bit at the tug in your elbow, but then nod. “Yeah, they’re okay. Thanks.”
Jimin sits back with a smirk, holding your bikini top in one hand and the jewelry you wore for the commercial in the other.
Oh, shit the commercial. 
You quickly sit up in horror, bracing a hand against your head when it spins. “Jimin, the shoot! We – we ruined our outfits… and the product…”
He offers you a bottle of water, chuckling. “Which is nothing to worry about at all. These are just samples,” he clarifies, raising the hand with your chain in it, “and I already told Jeremy to arrange for spare outfits.”
You take a few sips of water and look at Jimin in awe. You’re very tempted to ask him how regularly he does this. “You prepare for everything, huh? Impressive.”
Tossing your clothes and jewelry aside, he runs a hand through his hair – a sinfully sexy gesture that makes you sigh – and wiggles his eyebrows at you. “Almost everything. I never could’ve prepared for the sexiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on telling me her pussy is in love with me.”
Hissing a breath out, you narrow your eyes and punch his firm bicep. Jimin just giggles and rolls away to the foot of the bed to duck. “You’re the worst, you know!”
“Ah ah – that’s not what your pussy was saying a few minutes ago!”
He’s standing up, now, correcting his pants, and you look around for something to cover yourself up. A purple hoodie lands next to you. You look at Jimin with your eyebrows raised in alarm.
“Relax, I’m not tryna be couple-y.” He rolls his eyes with a scoff. And then smiles. “Wear this until they get you a change of clothes. You look like you came here in a cab and not a trailer.”
You nod, a little bashful and a lot grateful, but very careful about your boundaries. This has been the best fuck of your life – but Jimin is still an A-lister, serial-fucking his way through the industry. 
It’d be kinda nice to be friends with him, though.
“You know for what it’s worth,” Jimin says after you’re done settling into the piece of clothing he loaned you, “I’m in love with your pussy, too.”
Nope, it won’t be nice being friends with him, at all.
Your affronted gasp echoes around the space, immediately followed by loud giggles that belong to Jimin. You toss a bottle at his head – but you’re laughing, too.
Maybe you’ll send Hoseok an actual gift basket, after this.
Damn, what a day.
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© jimilter | 2022
links to be added later!
3K notes · View notes
dntaewithluv · 2 months
Private Lesson | myg
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Your little sister finds it odd how you've been taking private lessons from her piano teacher for over a month now, but she hasn't heard you actually play even once...
🎹 Pairing: pianoteacher/pianist!yoongi x reader
🎹 Word Count: 5.5k
🎹 Rating: 18+
🎹 Genre: Friends with benefits to lovers, piano teacher/pianist au, smut, fluff, minor drama/angst
🎹 Warnings: Y/N is lying to her younger sister, explicit language, we love secretly hooking up with our sister's hot piano teacher 🤩, making out, biting/marking, Yoongi has some dom tendencies, groping, there's an actual piano lesson and it's wholesome until it's not™️, Yoongi plays his sabotage card 😈, explicit sexual content, lots of teasing/taunting, rubbing, fingering, multiple orgasms, cum eating/feeding, oral (f receiving), hair pulling, scratching, brief handjob, unprotected sex (pls be safe), sex on top of Yoongi's first love (the piano 👀), it's fluffy and wholesome at the end, Y/N lets Yoongi keep her underwear, really the only drama/angst is because they're hooking up in secret oof
A/N: Funny how I forget this man owns me until I see him again and then it's painfully clear 🥹 This was inspired by and spiraled into this™️ after the YTC concert this weekend. It felt really good to be inspired and motivated to write something again, so I really hope you enjoy this if you decide to check it out 🥰 Thank you as always for your patience and kindness and support I purple you always 💜
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“Okay, Faith, I’m heading out.” you called out as you made your way towards the front door, “Should be back in an hour or so.”
Your fifteen-year-old sister, seated at the kitchen table, looked up from her phone, “You know, I really just don’t understand why you don’t just sign up for one of his classes. I know he offers them specifically for adults. It’d probably be way cheaper than whatever you’re paying for all these private lessons.”
You laughed at her remark, trying your best not to let your nerves show.
“I told you, I don’t feel comfortable playing in front of other people. Too much pressure, and too many pairs of eyes on you. Having one person there makes me nervous enough.”
Your little sister stared back at you, seeming to search your face for some answer to whatever she was looking for.
“Yeah, but, Y/N, you won’t even play in front of me. And I’m your sister. You’d think after six weeks worth of lessons, you’d at least be able to do that. Wouldn’t it be cool for us to be able to play something together sometime?”
You felt a twinge of guilt pierce you at her words and the look on her face. You nervously chewed on your bottom lip as you wracked your brain for a response that would satisfy her.
“Tell you what, Faith. I’ll ask Yoo-I mean Mr. Min to teach me one of the pieces you guys are working on in class, and we’ll try to play together soon. Sound good?” you proposed, hoping it would suffice for now.
Faith’s expression shifted, and you were grateful to see that she didn’t look nearly as upset.
“Yeah, okay, sounds good. Have a good lesson.” she said with a small smile before turning back to her phone.
You waited to let out your sigh of relief until you were on the other side of the door. Well that had been fucking close.
Your anxiety only grew more heightened as you pulled up to the familiar condo. No longer feelings of guilt, but of excitement and anticipation. You felt yourself walk a little too fast up to the door, finger immediately reaching out to push the doorbell. You held your breath as you always did when the door was being swung open. And then there he was.
It was truly unfair how hot he looked today and every time you saw him. He had a plain white tee tucked into a pair of high waisted black pants, a single silver chain hanging from his neck. His long, dark, gorgeous locks cascaded down either side of his handsome face. Every single part of you was buzzing.
“And here I was starting to think that maybe you were going to stand me up for our lesson.” he greeted you, eyes giving you a very obvious once over.
Heat washed over you.
“You know I would never.” you voiced, a hint of playfulness in your tone, “I need the practice, and you and I both know it.”
An amused smirk took over his features, “You know I’m always more than happy to oblige a student in need. Please, come in, and we can get started.”
You sauntered past him and into the condo, feeling his gaze on you all the while. No sooner had he closed the door behind you, than you were being pushed up against it, Yoongi hastily crashing his lips against your own. You matched his urgency as your mouths moved together, and your hands slid up into his midnight strands.
He was always more worked up, more rough, anytime you were late. Anytime you had kept him waiting. Today was no exception as he practically swallowed you, his fingers surely making imprints across the skin of your hips from how hard he was pushing you against the door.
His teeth nipped harshly at your lips as his tongue tangled messily with yours. That wild look you had come to know all too well over the past six weeks was present in his dark eyes when he suddenly pulled back from you.
“Well, shit.” you rasped, laughing slightly, “I missed you too.”
Yoongi’s response was to begin hungrily kissing down your neck, and you sighed out as you held him against you.
“You were all I could think about all fucking day.” he murmured as his lips seared against your skin.
“Mmm, you might’ve crossed my mind a time or two.” you teased back, and Yoongi growled against your neck before sinking his teeth into you.
You cried out, your head falling back against the door. He pushed one of his legs between yours and pressed his thigh against you, making you let out a whimper as his tongue simultaneously soothed the spot on your neck. His leg pressed harder and you gasped sharply, “You really wanna be a brat today? After you were already late? Think carefully about your decision, darling.”
It probably wouldn’t be the best idea to be honest. And you knew you would struggle to come up with a reason to explain to Faith why you couldn’t walk the next day…
“No…no. I’ll be good, Yoongi.”
He kissed you just behind your ear, hot breath hitting your skin, “Smart girl. Looks like I’ve been teaching you something these last several weeks after all.”
He immediately went back to sucking color into your neck as his fingers slipped beneath your sun dress and began trailing up the inside of your thigh. His other hand roughly pulled down the strap of your dress to expose your shoulder and some of your chest. Your mind was starting to go fuzzy. The way it always did when you were with Yoongi. But the mention of his teaching reminded you of your promise to Faith.
“Yoongi.” you tried, but it came out as a moan from the way his teeth scraped against your collarbone.
His free hand groped at your breast over your clothes while his fingers started to dip between your thighs. It wouldn’t be long before you would be lost in your pleasure. Lost in him.
“Yoongi, wait.”
You’d actually managed to find your voice this time, and Yoongi was immediately pulling back to look at you as his hand retreated out from underneath your dress.
“Darling, what is it?” he queried, concern briefly flashing across his handsome features.
“It’s just…it’s my sister.”
Yoongi’s eyes went wide, “Wait, does Faith know about us?”
“No, no.” you reassured him quickly, “At least I don’t think she does. But, she is starting to wonder why after six weeks of lessons that she hasn’t heard me play. Like, at all.”
You watched as Yoongi processed this information, and marveled at how cute his thinking face was. You desperately wanted to be kissing him again, but it would have to wait for now.
“So, what you’re saying is, that you think our weekly “piano lessons” should actually be used for piano lessons?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.
“I mean, we can definitely still have sex. But I do think I should at least start becoming more familiar with the piano if we wanna keep this under wraps like we have been.” you explained further, looping your arms around Yoongi’s neck as you talked.
His hands came to rest on your hips once again, “You know, darling, I think I have the perfect solution.”
This time you lifted your eyebrows at him. You knew he was fucking with you, but you still decided to ask anyway.
“Oh, and what solution is that?”
Yoongi gripped you harder, making your dress bunch up slightly in his hold.
“I could fuck you on my piano. That would definitely help you become more familiar with it.” he mused, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.
You rubbed your thighs together before you could stop yourself, and Yoongi, of course, noticed immediately. You quickly tried to defuse the rapidly mounting tension.
“Yoon, I’m serious about this. It’s really important to my sister, and at least this way what I’m telling her won’t be a complete lie. Just teach me some of the basics so I have something to show from all these “lessons”. Pleeeeeeease Yoonie.” you pleaded sweetly, and the piano teacher revealed his gums when he smiled at you.
“Alright, alright. You’re right, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea. And if anyone’s gonna teach you, it should be me.” he relented before taking both of your hands and leading you over to one of the many pianos he had in his luxurious condo.
This particular one was displayed right by his wall of glass windows. Sunlight filtered through the panes and fell on the inviting instrument. Yoongi gestured for you to take a seat on the bench, and you let out a slightly nervous giggle before sitting down. You only missed his warmth for a second before he was right next to you, hip bumping against yours.
His fingers hovered over the keys with such a natural grace, and all you could do was stare at him in awe for a moment. He belonged here. That was clear as day. He positioned his foot on the pedal below, closed his eyes, and began to play. The notes were soft and delicate, as was his touch against the keys.
He looked so beautiful like this, and you felt your breath catch in your chest. It was as if he and the instrument were one and the same, sharing the same soul. He was lost in it, and the music was lost in him. Out of everything you and Yoongi had done since the two of you had started hooking up, this, this, felt the most intimate.
You were overcome with the sudden realization that you were starting to fall in love with him, and nothing had ever scared you more in your entire life. Yoongi’s eyes suddenly fluttered open, and you weren’t prepared for the calm intensity in them when he turned to you. Without taking his hands off the keys, he leaned over and gently brought his lips to yours.
You felt yourself flush furiously because this was a different kind of kiss. Not the kind that had heat surging through you and craving more, more, more. The kind that made your heart stutter in your chest and sent every part of you fluttering. A kiss that made you think that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to fall for you too.
The two of you broke apart, but the closeness remained.
“I don’t know if I ever told you,” Yoongi began softly, warm breath hitting your lips, “but the piano was actually my first love.”
He grew shy suddenly, cheeks heating at the admission as his hands froze over the keys. He had really shown you something so precious. Something that was at the very core of who he was. All you could think about was how honored and lucky you felt that he had chosen to share it with you.
You smiled warmly at him, “Well, then, I’m honored to meet her. Thank you for sharing this with me. You really play so beautifully.”
He blushed deeper, and his gums poked out when he grinned bashfully back at you. The moment felt as delicate as the notes he’d just been pulling from the piano. You found yourself wanting to stay in it for as long as possible. But then Yoongi suddenly cleared his throat and brushed his hands nervously over his pants.
“Okay, your turn now.”
“You really expect me to follow that up?” you questioned back, the nerves beginning to settle over you once more.
Yoongi chuckled, the sound dancing in his eyes, “Of course not. I’m just gonna show you some basic scales.”
You playfully bumped his shoulder with your own.
“Show off.” you remarked teasingly.
“Don’t act like I didn’t just woo the fuck out of you with my piano skills.” he quipped back, flashing you a cocky smirk.
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face, betraying you.
“Okay, fine. Consider me wooed. I guess you can court me now or whatever. After our lesson of course.” you reminded him, and Yoongi swept his hand over the top of the keyboard as if to say “All yours”.
As promised, Yoongi taught you some of the basic scales. It was honestly so hard to concentrate though because there was something so sexy about when he went into teacher mode. Especially once he covered your hands with his own to guide them over the keys. Your brain just went completely blank anytime his hands were on you.
“You know, you could always just join one of my classes. If you wanted to.” he voiced as he helped maneuver your hands.
“Yeaaaaah, something tells me I wouldn’t be able to learn very much. I’d be too distracted by the hot teacher.” you replied cheekily.
Yoongi’s grip on your hands tightened briefly, and you smirked to yourself. But then he switched to teasingly trailing his fingers over your hands and up your arms and back down again, sending shivers through you with his phantom touch.
“I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate either.” he started, his mouth right next to your ear, “There’d only be one thing I’d want to have my hands on…and it wouldn’t be the piano.”
He pulled your ear between his teeth, and you squirmed next to him on the bench. His lips traveled along the length of your jaw, warm and hungry. You sighed out as you leaned into his touch, “Well I feel properly educated for the day. You were a great teacher.”
He hummed, and his mouth vibrated over your throat.
“Mmm, I want you to play the C major scale I showed you before we finish up our lesson for today.”
You pouted even though he couldn’t see it.
“Yoonieeee.” you whined, his teeth grazing your skin in response.
“Play the scale, and then we can start our real lesson.”
You hesitantly raised your fingers over the keys, trying to remember what he had literally just taught you. You pressed down on the first few keys, feeling a tiny victory at the familiar sound. You felt a little more confident going forward now. Until Yoongi sabotaged you by sliding one of his hands over your shoulder and down the front of your dress. He squeezed your breast, and you cried out as your finger struck the wrong key.
“Yoongi.” you scolded him, but he paid you no mind as he continued to knead your soft flesh and bruise your skin with his harsh mouth.
His thumb flicked over your nipple, and you jerked on the bench.
“Start again.” he said simply.
Fuck. This was going to be impossible.
Your hands were shaking this time as you positioned them back over the keys. You willed all your concentration and focus to be on playing the right keys in the scale, and not on Yoongi’s other hand, which was now starting to slip under your dress. You held your breath, making it about halfway through before your hands slammed down on the piano from the feeling of his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your panties.
“How in the fuck do you expect me to do this?” you demanded in frustration, your body beginning to tremble slightly.
His long digits glided through your folds, teasing you, and your hands curled into fists against your knees.
“Focus. Start again. Play the scale.” he pressed, the words searing against the skin of your shoulder.
Maybe if you just got through the scale as fast as possible. You discovered, however, that when your speed increased, so did the speed of Yoongi’s fingers as they rubbed over your aching core. Your head had nearly slammed down into the keys. You whimpered and started again, slower this time. Yoongi immediately slowed down with you. It took all of your strength and willpower to block him out, but soon you had reached the second to last note in the scale. You prepared to play the final note, but suddenly shot up from the bench when one of Yoongi’s fingers pushed inside of you, “Yoongi, fuck!”
He used his free hand to push you back down and hold you in place before inserting a second digit, making you writhe on the bench.
“Again. You almost had it that time.” he taunted you, and you could see his wicked smirk out of the corner of your eye.
He opted for just watching you this time as you started the scale again, but his hand didn’t cease its movements between your legs. His fingers plunged inside of you, crooking and twisting in a way that was nothing short of sinful. You had reached the last few notes again, you were so close. Yoongi’s thumb brushed over your neglected clit, and you yanked your hands down to your lap to keep from playing a wrong key as you nearly let out a sob.
“Oh, darling, you’re so close. Finish it.”
Your hands were shaking so violently now, but you still somehow managed to play the last few keys without any more errors. All the built up tension and pressure had you releasing all over Yoongi’s fingers as soon as your hands left the keys, and he hissed next to you.
Your body was still trembling in his hold, and you panted heavily as you struggled to regain your senses. Yoongi reached out with his clean hand to pull the cover back over the keys before withdrawing his other one from between your thighs. His coated fingers were slipping past your lips a moment later and pressing down on your tongue. You were still feeling hazy, but you sucked them clean without needing to be asked, Yoongi humming in approval.
He stood up from the bench a moment later, and reached down to lift you up and perch you on top of the piano, your head still spinning. His hands slid up your thighs, fingers digging in slightly. He pressed a kiss to the inside of your knee before slowly moving higher, the feeling of his wicked tongue making you grip onto the sides of the piano.
His fingers twisted into your waistband before pulling your panties down your legs and setting them on the bench next to him. Yoongi pushed your dress up to your hips to expose your dripping cunt, and his eyes blew out at the sight. His gaze flicked up to meet yours, and you could see the desire, the hunger, pulsing through him. You clenched around nothing.
“Lay back for me, darling.” he instructed calmly.
Your heartbeat was deafening as your back met the wood underneath you. You let out a yelp when Yoongi wrapped his arms around your thighs and yanked you to the edge of the piano.
“Fuck. You have no idea how much I’ve been dying to taste you again.” he rasped out, and your fingers scratched against the wood.
He dove right in and started cleaning up your release, your back arching off of the piano as you gasped sharply. Yoongi ate you out messily, his grunts permeating the air while his face was buried in your cunt. The things he could do with his mouth, his tongue, had to be some kind of artform. A skill he had finely tuned much like his talent for the piano.
Your hands reached down to tangle in his long, fluffy hair as his tongue fucked into you. His nose kept bumping against your clit, making your nails scrape over his scalp.
“Oh my god, Yoongi.”
One of his hands snaked its way up your writhing body to roughly grab at your breast. Your body twisted on the wood when you felt his mouth suddenly envelop your bundle of nerves.
“Fuck. Fuck! Yoongi!” you cried out as he vigorously sucked at your clit, tongue flicking over the bud in quick strokes.
He always made you come undone with his mouth faster than anyone ever had, and today was no exception as you felt your high speeding towards you. His fingers dug into your skin harshly as he continued to eat your cunt like he was starving for you. You pulled hard against his dark strands, and Yoongi growled before grazing your clit with his teeth. Your desperate, breathy moans filled the air as you practically convulsed on top of the piano.
“Close…Yoon…” you panted out.
“Come for me, darling.” Yoongi coaxed, voice husky and dark, “Wanna feel you on my tongue.”
He nipped at your bud again, and you sobbed his name as you fell to pieces. Yoongi kept devouring your cunt until you were shivering in overstimulation and whimpering feebly. You felt him finally surface, and it took all your strength to even lift up your head to look at him.
His breathing was ragged, hair wild, chestnut irises nearly black, and his lips glistened with your release. You moaned softly as you watched his tongue swipe across his mouth to finish cleaning you off of his face. He looked absolutely wasted off of you.
“Always so fucking delicious. Could stay buried in your sweet little cunt all day.” he remarked, and you were caught off guard by how fucked out he sounded.
“I think I would die if you did.” you offered back weakly, making Yoongi laugh, his gums peeking out adorably.
“Alright, darling, watch out. I’m coming up there.” he said, and in your post orgasm haze you really thought he was joking.
But within a few swift movements, he had hoisted himself up and was hovering over your shocked figure.
“Wait, are you… You’re, you’re actually gonna fuck me on your piano?” you asked incredulously as you blinked up at him.
Yoongi shifted so you could feel just how hard he was as he brushed against you, “Wanna know a secret? It’s actually always been a fantasy of mine.”
You let out a small gasp as his admission washed over you.
“You mean, you’ve never done this? With anyone? Like ever?” you questioned further, genuinely feeling dumbfounded.
“Never.” Yoongi answered, flashing you a shy smile, “What do you say, darling? You wanna be my first?”
Your heart constricted in your chest at his choice of words. The fact that he wanted to share this first with you. That you would be the one to fulfill this fantasy for him. Warmth spread over your entire body.
“Yoongi Min, I would be honored to take your piano virginity.” you tried to say as seriously as you could manage, but as soon as Yoongi started chuckling, so did you.
“Please, taking you on my piano is my honor.” he voiced thoughtfully before leaning down to kiss you.
You immediately came to life beneath him, your hands finding their familiar home in his hair. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he devoured your mouth. Growing impatient, you made a grab for his pants. Yoongi smirked into the kiss as his hands joined yours to help free him from the confines of his clothes. He sat up momentarily to slip his white tee over his head and sweep his messy locks back from his face, top half bare except for the silver chain laying against his skin.
You shamelessly ogled his broad chest and defined muscles, your eyes trailing down his body to his achingly hard cock that bounced back up against his stomach.
“God,” you whispered as you reached for him, “you are so fucking hot.”
Yoongi flushed at the compliment, letting out a hiss when your eager hand wrapped around him a moment later.
“Like it’s seriously unfair.” you whined as you began giving him a few teasing pumps, and Yoongi groaned beautifully in response.
“What’s unfair is how unbelievably sexy you look right now. Fucked out on top of my piano, just waiting to be stuffed full of cock. Begging to be aren’t you, darling?”
God, he was so fucking hot when he was cocky. You needed him so bad, there was no point in delaying things any further. You released your hold on him and stretched your arms out above your head, inviting him with your eyes, “Do your worst, piano man.”
“Oh, I am going to wreck you.” he growled out before descending on you, and you let out a squeal as his body pressed down on you.
He intertwined his hands with your own, keeping them pinned above your head as his tip prodded at your entrance. He gave them a tight squeeze as he began pushing further past your walls, both of you moaning out at the sensation of feeling him inside you again. You arched into him at the stretch, and Yoongi placed a kiss on your shoulder.
“Always so tight, darling, fucking hell. You take my cock so well. Love fucking you open like this, feels so good.”
You preened at his praise, your head shooting up suddenly to connect your lips. Yoongi groaned into your mouth, finally bottoming out inside of you. Your legs came up to wrap around his waist as you kissed him furiously. Yoongi squeezed against your intertwined hands while he slowly drew back out before slamming all the back in with a harsh thrust that knocked all the air from your lungs. He quickly created a rhythm, driving his cock between your walls in swift, but powerful movements, your body sliding further up the piano with each stroke.
“Fuck…Yoongi.” you moaned brokenly as you lost the energy to keep kissing him.
He breathed hot air into your mouth as he continued fucking the life out of you. You held each other’s hands so tight it hurt, but it also served as an anchor to this moment and to each other. Yoongi grunted, hips snapping roughly with every thrust. Your head was starting to go fuzzy again, and you knew you wouldn’t last super long after he’d already pulled two orgasms from you today.
Yoongi released your hands suddenly, his fingers immediately snaking into your hair, tangling and pulling at the strands. Your hands latched onto his broad shoulders, and dug into his skin as he reached the deepest part of you again and again. Yoongi let out a snarl, “Fuck. You gonna scratch me up again today? Love when you leave your mark on me. A reminder of just how good I fuck you. Isn’t that right, darling?”
But you were beyond words, only able to respond with moans and whimpers as you clenched around him.
“Your perfect little cunt is squeezing me so tight, shit. You gonna come for me again, darling?”
Tears blurred your vision. Everything felt too good. Yoongi felt too good. His cock dragged inside of you at an agonizing pace, making you feel every inch of him. You bit down hard on Yoongi’s shoulder as your nails raked down his back, pulling a string of moans from him in response.
You felt one of his hands leave your hair and trail down the length of your body. His fingers strummed across your aching clit, and you let out a scream as everything inside of you snapped. Yoongi swore loudly as you came all over his cock, and he began fucking you with renewed vigor. You just held onto him for dear life, body shuddering, as he chased his own high.
He fisted your hair tightly in his free hand, groaning and panting as he continued rutting into you. His other hand gripped your hip hard enough to bruise, like he was holding onto you for dear life too. His thrusts began to stutter, and he leaned down to clumsily kiss you.
“Ah,” he moaned against your lips, “ah fuck.”
He twitched inside of you, and then he was coating your walls with his own release. Yoongi practically collapsed on top of you, his hair tickling your face as the two of you fought to catch your breath.
“Well…your fantasy…was it everything…you’d dreamed of?” you managed to ask, threading one of your hands through his fluffy locks.
You felt Yoongi smile against you, and your heart skipped in your chest.
“More…it was more. Reality topped fantasy…hands down. You topped fantasy.”
Your face warmed at his words, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi.
“I mean, technically…I actually bottomed fantasy.” you quipped back, and he nipped your neck in response, making you giggle wildly.
“Brat. I was trying to be sincere with you. I really like you, Y/N. And I hope we don’t always have to be a secret. I know you’re worried about everything with Faith, and I get it. But, at the risk of putting myself out there and sounding like an idiot, I want the day to come when I can be your boyfriend, and not just your little sister’s piano teacher that you fuck once a week. I want something real with you, and I want things to be okay between me, you, and Faith. Now would be a good time to tell me to shut up and stop wishing for a fantasy. That this is just sex, and that’s it. Just please, say something.”
You felt frozen beneath him, your tongue heavy in your mouth. One wrong word could shatter all of this. Or the right words, the true words, could be the start of something real and beautiful like Yoongi had said. He was laying so close to your heart, and the way it was rapidly pounding would probably end up giving you away anyway. He had taken the leap for you, and to you, Yoongi was more than worth the jump.
“Yoongi I, I’m falling for you. And it terrifies the hell out of me, but it also makes me feel excited, and hopeful. Being with you these last several weeks…it’s the best I’ve felt in a really long time. There definitely would have to be a conversation with Faith first, but I really want this, us, to be something real too. It’s not just sex for me anymore, and I don’t think it has been for awhile. I get butterflies when I think about seeing you. Not just fucking you. But seeing you and getting to be with you, even if it’s only for little bits at a time. Any time I can get is worth it to me, cause you’re worth it to me.”
You waited anxiously for his response, which came in the form of him covering your lips with his own, his hands coming up to cradle your face. It felt like the kiss at the piano earlier, only more sure, more confident. It was like you could feel everything that he felt for you, and you kissed him back, hoping that he could feel the same.
The two of you laid there for some time, just lazily tangled up in each other and in the fragile moment. Yoongi groaned loudly when you finally spoke up and mentioned that you should probably be heading back before Faith started to worry. He had the cutest pout on his face as he climbed down from the piano before holding out his hand to help guide you back to the floor.
“I can’t wait until you can finally just stay, and I can fall asleep next to you.” he voiced softly as he straightened his pants and retrieved his white tee from the floor.
“Me too.” you agreed, pushing up on your toes to kiss his cheek, and Yoongi immediately blushed.
“Hey, do you think I could hold onto this?” you added, gesturing at the shirt in his hands.
He gave you a gummy smile, “That’s not really keeping things a secret now is it, darling?”
“I’ll be careful with it. It’d just be nice to have a little piece of you with me.” you told him sweetly.
“Alright, it’s yours.” he said, tossing the shirt to you, “Can I keep these then? As something to remember you by.”
He bent down to pick up your panties from the floor and raised a mischievous eyebrow at you.
“Yoongi!” you exclaimed in shock, your cheeks burning.
“I’m kidding! Well, kind of.”
He flashed you a cheeky little smirk, and you shook your head at him, laughing.
“Well, if I just so happen to leave here without them, then I guess that really can’t be helped now can it?”
Yoongi hummed before stuffing the garment into his pocket.
“Yeah, guess not.” he agreed nonchalantly.
You felt your face heat once more, and you briefly turned your gaze to the piano, Yoongi’s eyes following yours.
“Shit!” he cursed suddenly, and worry immediately overtook you.
“What’s wrong?”
“It just occurred to me that I’ll never be able to play at this piano again without getting hard.”
You busted out laughing because you definitely had not been expecting that answer.
“Well, then, I guess you’ll just have to fuck me on every piano you own so that this one doesn’t feel singled out.” you quipped back as you gave him a knowing look.
Yoongi’s eyes were darkening immediately, “I think you better text your sister and let her know today’s lesson is running a little late.”
You grinned wickedly back at him, rising to the challenge.
“Whatever you say, piano man.”
2K notes · View notes
caelesjjk · 3 months
sanguine - jjk- part one
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⟶title: sanguine
⟶au: vampire au, arranged marriage au, royalty au
⟶ pairing: vampire king!jungkook x human queen fem reader
⟶ rating: 18+
⟶ genre: romance, kinda slow burn?, smut, angst
⟶wc: 10.5k
⟶warnings: some swearing, mentions of blood, lots of sexual tension, one kiss, a bit angsty, reader is a badass. No smut for this part my fellow horny bitches, but there is certainly smut in the future.
⟶ summary: Marry the vampire king. Save the kingdom.
Your father is the king of a rare human kingdom that has been plagued by famine and sickness. And in a last ditch effort to save the kingdom, he has arranged for you to marry the vampire king to the north. Your hand in marriage in exchange for his help in saving your kingdom.
Everything you swore could never happen between the two of you begins to unfold as you spend more time in the vampire kingdom with its king and his subjects. Can you learn to love this place and it’s beloved ruler?
⟶ authors note: hi friends. this has been a whirlwind of a fic and this is only part one lol. it’s my baby in a way because I’ve had this idea for so long. I started writing it long before my king decided to actually grace us all with his vampire concept for his folio. that only encouraged me more to get this done.
A few shoutouts need to be made because without these people I don’t think I’d ever finished this. @jeonjcngkook jords, not only did you beta the shit out of this, but you’ve been there for me while I’ve written it and listened to me whine and cry for weeks. u have no idea how much it means. @haliiimede for reading through and convincing me that it wasn’t trash and giving me such lovely feedback. And also a huge thanks to @tea4sykes for reading through and encouraging me the whole way, ur the best Kay. @missgeniality siya, you absolute angel, I literally owe you big time for this amazing banner. and thank you for making me a new one when jungkook dropped all the vampire content lol. It’s so stunning.
(Vows found at vampireweddings.blogspot.com)
Alright enough blabbing, please enjoy! Send me all the feedback!
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For the good of the kingdom.
For the good of mankind.
That was what your family kept telling you…no, they insisted that this was the only way.
Your father’s kingdom had become wrought with sickness, famine, and the people were starving. All of the resources available had been drained, there was nothing left.
And so, in a desperate plea for help, your father went to the vampire kingdom in the north, with whom your kingdom shared a border. And while the vampire king was willing to help, he wanted to make sure that this alliance was official and binding. He asked that you marry him to join your kingdoms, and that way there would be no reason for any type of betrayal.
You hated the idea. You fought it with everything that you had. The vampires disgusted you with their lust for blood and their strange habits. It was the worst thing you thought could happen.
But your father was right, it was the only choice your kingdom had left, and you had a duty to the people.
With that realization, is how you find yourself under this gorgeous oak tree in the middle of the night. The stars and moon and a few scattered candles are the only light to be found in this open field.
“Welcome one and all, witnesses to both His Highness the King and ______, princess of the human kingdom to our South, as they pledge their dedication to walk the night together. From the night we come, to the night we go, Cursed or blessed to walk the moonlight alone.”
The wedding dress that is chosen for you to wear is dark crimson, a bloody reminder of just who exactly is standing before you. With full lace skirts that drag against the ground, it’s light, airy even. It feels incredibly soft against your skin as your finger tips brush against the fabric but none of that matters as you still feel like you’re suffocating. It’s the absolute opposite of the dress you imagined yourself wearing on your wedding day but it is tradition here in the vampire kingdom for the bride to wear red.
“Sometimes another soul walks our path, Then two become one, in love everlasting. Come forward, Children of the Blood, And welcome this couple to your brood, Within each other, these two are found, Bear witness as their souls are bound.”
The hardest part of this is that it needs to be believable, and at the same time, the subjects from both kingdoms wanted you and the king to hate each other. So the wedding had to be done with official vows, ones that made it sound like the two of you were in love. It makes your stomach churn as the priest continues to speak.
“Please bring your left wrists forward towards me.” The priest said with a soft smile. Though it was gentle, his fangs are still visible, sending a shiver down your spine.
He takes out a red sash from his pocket and gently ties it around both of your wrists, Jungkook’s cold skin brushes against yours and makes you jump slightly. Though it’s as cold as stone, it’s also as soft as cashmere.
Finally, you allow yourself to look up at the man standing next to you.
You hate that he is so beautiful. Possibly the most beautiful being you have ever seen. Soft, thick, black hair slightly smoothed back away from his forehead, eyes almost as black as his tresses and lips that were sharp and hued pink.
When he catches you staring for a bit too long, he merely smirks and turns his attention to you.
“Sorry.” The king mouths to you, no sound coming from his mouth. You look back towards the priest quickly. He holds out a golden goblet beneath your bound wrists.
“Stand now as ye will stand forever, Like this crimson cloth your hearts are tethered, This goblet's contents are your symbols of devotion, So take the rings from the Goblet.”
Your hand shakes violently as you reach into the cup to retrieve the silver band that is to be placed on Jungkook’s right finger. You swallow thickly as you toy with the silver band in between your fingers, your pulse quickening because you know that not only can Jungkook hear the beating sounds of your heart, but all the other vampires present as well. Jungkook does the same with your wedding ring but with more confidence in his motions.
The ring he holds for you is a silver band as well, but it also contains a dark shaded ruby, cut into the shape of a blood drop or possibly a tear in the case of this marriage. But even then, it was stunning.
“______, please repeat these vows after me:
I will stand by your side, hunt at your back, and fly within your Soul. I will stand between you and all which would harm you. I will shield you from the Light of Day with my flesh. I will never betray you, for you are my Heart, my Soul and my Life.”
These vows had been written hundreds of years ago, meant for two vampires binding themselves together…not a vampire king and someone like you who is so very human. But you say them anyway, your heart still hammering in your chest as you turn your body towards the king and take his hand into yours, noticing just how soft his hands are before you slip the ring onto his awaiting finger.
“I will stand by your side, hunt at your back…” You pause when your voice shakes for a moment, “and fly within your Soul. I will stand between you and all which would harm you. I will shield you from the Light of Day with my flesh. I will never betray you, for you are my Heart, my Soul and my Life.”
You place the ring onto his finger and release the breath you have been holding the entire time. Jungkook smiles and takes your hand into his.
“King Jungkook, please repeat the vows to your bride.”
Jungkook waits a moment for you to look up at him, his eyes hold yours and his thumb rubs gently over the back of your hand. You wish you could pull it away…even more, you wish you wanted to pull it away.
“I will stand by your side, hunt at your back, and fly within your Soul. I will stand between you and all which would harm you. I will shield you from the Light of Day with my flesh. I will never betray you, for you are my Heart, my Soul and my Life.” His voice is alluring and even, as if he isn’t nervous about this at all. He slides the ring down your finger and lets it sit perfectly against your warm skin.
The priest hands the goblet to one of his assistants and turns back to the two of you after you’ve both finished.
“Above you are the stars, below you are the stones. As time passes, remember, like the star should your love burn brightly, like the stone should your love be firm. Be close, yet not so close that you restrict one another. Possess one another, yet grant each other the freedom to grow. Be understanding and compassionate, and have patience with each other, for storms may come, but they will quickly pass. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Fear not, lest the ways or words of the unenlightened give you unease.” He clasps his hands over your joined ones before he finishes the last part of the ceremony.
“As both your arms and the cloth form the symbol of eternity, may your love endure through this life and all others. As the Gods and the old ones are witness, with those of us present now, I proclaim them Husband and Wife, and thus are they bonded in Blood. The Two are now one. I present to you the Blood King Jungkook and Queen ______ forever bound, eternally free! You are husband and wife for all eternity. You may now kiss each other to seal your eternal bond of love.” The priest opens his arms and presents the two of you to the guests.
A kiss…was it necessary? Would they believe you if you didn’t kiss him? Would he be able to resist biting you? Would he taste of blood on his lips? So many thoughts plagued your mind in the moments before he cupped your cheek and tilts your face towards his.
“It’s just a kiss.” Jungkook whispered, only loud enough for you to hear. Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion at his gentle touch.
“One kiss.” You step forward and wrap the arm holding your bouquet behind his back as he leans down to mold his lips against yours.
You weren’t expecting the softness of them, assuming that their appearance would be deceiving. His cool hand on your cheek brings you just the slightest bit closer as your lips brush over his once…twice…three times before your brain catches up with you and you remember who you are kissing.
There are whispers amongst the wedding guests who watch the scene unfold in front of them. Some with disgust. Some with curiosity. However even with the divided opinions in the crowd, they all share the same opinionated attitude. You try to ignore them as best you can.
Your lips separate from his a little too quickly and your hand immediately flies up to cover your mouth and the gasp that escapes you. Jungkook smiles, a flash of fangs when his lips pull back, and gently touches the veil hanging from your head and cascading over your shoulders. He takes your free hand in his and turns you both towards the guests, who clap but don’t seem to be pleased.
“And now the crowns.” The priest turns back to his assistants and picks up the crown that belongs to Jungkook first. The king bends slightly at the waist and the crown is placed gently atop his head.
The crown looks too perfect on him, black and silver metal twisted into spikes with small red gems at the base. It’s as if he has always worn one, perfectly designed with Jungkook in mind. And maybe he has, you don’t know how long he’s been the king after all.
You hadn’t actually seen your crown until this moment. The priest picks it up from a black silk pil