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#so you need to internalize that and try to act the way you think someone put in that situation would act to understand better.
snekdood · 6 months
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this is partially a critique on my part but even more of a critique on other online leftists' part since i notice a complete lack of attempts at putting oneself in others shoes- it shouldn't quite literally take learning you have x minority ethnicity in you to have sympathy and understanding for them.
#i started understanding native people more when even the possibility of me having ntv american in me was presented to me#heres an idea: ACTUALLY TRY TO VISUALIZE WHAT SHIT WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU WERE IN STEAD OF DOING NOTHING#yes. yes. you will 'never fully comprehend' blah blah blah but im sure you've had enough experiences being treated lesser than#to be able to put yourself in other peoples shoes long enough to understand the complex ways of how shit negatively effects people#pretend that you are jewish (in your brain not irl if you're not. this is a thought exercise.) and now tell me what you think should#happen to jewish ppl in israel. and wait- i mean ACTUALLY think about it. dont shit out the most buzzwordsy shit you can think of#to make yourself feel and Look Cool to your followers. basically im asking you to do method acting here. i want you to go THAT far#to understand bc its apparently what needs to be done for you to understand.#bc if you're actually doing this thought exercise and you're actually educated on why theres jewish ppl in israel to begin with#(hint: they were forced out of other countries) you're not going to then be like 'yeah its fine to kill all jewish ppl in israel' you just#WONT come to that conclusion if you're being honest.#also i bet plenty a yall havent even gotten dna tests so far all you know you COULD have ashkenazi in you!#so you need to internalize that and try to act the way you think someone put in that situation would act to understand better.#also obviously all the while listening to jewish people while you're at it.
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wordsinhaled · 10 months
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i’m so totally normal about the fact that aziraphale’s last (known) deliberate foray into the queer community was when he learned the gavotte at the fictionalized hundred guineas club (!!!) in the 1800s and now in the 2020s he’s like “grindr? what’s that?”
many are talking about his repression which is very valid… and yet the thing to me that stands out about aziraphale is that he’s actually… incredibly stable in his identity and that identity IS incredibly queer. queer by the standards of heaven AND by human standards as well
metatron describes his “de facto partnership” with crowley as “irregular.” and in fact aziraphale in his entirety is irregular. he likes and makes it his business not only to understand but to be a connoisseur of all manner of things angels aren’t supposed to even remotely care about. food. music. books. theatre. sleight of hand. and more.
it’s the sort of behavior that would’ve gotten him othered, treated as a bit odd, in heaven even if he hadn’t chosen to consort all across the earth with a literal demon. and it IS treated that way - the fact is aziraphale even as an angel has got proclivities that set him apart from the rest of the host (even after offering him the highest position in heaven, metatron still acts deeply dismissive of him… like aziraphale’s bookshop is merely a quaint little hobby of his that can be easily transferred to another custodian, and not a literal extension of who aziraphale has become, full of his tartan and unique bibles and special vintages of wine and the books arranged in a very specific way)
so. aziraphale is a queer angel but of course he’s also queer to other humans. but in such a way that… he had his realization a LONG time ago, and put the matter very much to rest after that. aziraphale is perpetually something like several centuries behind schedule. he owns an ancient computer that probably continues to run windows 98 simply because aziraphale’s decided it should. he wears the same waistcoat and coat for generations because he simply likes them precisely the way they are and sees no reason to change them. but the idea that he doesn’t know how he comes across to others - of course he does. he knows he looks like your prim and proper grandfather and he prefers it that way
aziraphale looked around at humans in the 1880s and said: ah yes. this is where i fit. and promptly ensconced himself in that queer subculture. learned the gavotte. read his austen. loved crowley from afar. aziraphale is fiercely and vibrantly queer. just with the sort of assurance of someone who lives with his lover in a commonlaw marriage for decades and then shows up at city hall for the certificate once society decides it’s ‘allowed.’ like… he hasn’t had any need to know what grindr is because aziraphale’s ‘scene’ was a century and a half ago and it defined romance for him too.
but my favorite thing about aziraphale is how much of him is about appearances versus the truth. he can lie straight to angels’ faces and sleep at night. he knows he comes off soft but he once wielded a flaming sword. he dissembles helplessness but he’s far from it and he knows precisely how it makes others treat him. and at the core of aziraphale is rigidity, inflexibility of ideas… his sense of self is stable where crowley’s is malleable, and so on, and so on
and the fact that he’s continuously fixated on trying to misguidedly do the right thing, the fact that he seeks heavenly approval and wants to fit the world into his schema of good vs evil… in no way do i think that means he isn’t one hundred percent aware of how he feels about crowley or what it means about him by angelic or human standards. i’ve seen some folks saying that aziraphale doesn’t want to like kissing crowley and like… as much as i love me some brideshead revisited/atonement flavored angst; i put forth that it’s not internalized homophobia or queer panic but simply: “i’m trying to do the right thing for both of us and you won’t let me.” and “i wanted our first kiss to be different.” he was envisioning an entirely different flavor of romance than what he got but he emma woodhoused too close to the sun
like, y’all. aziraphale in all likelihood has a glorious collection of historical queer erotica. he just has a feathery diva coat hanging in his closet, and for what. “oh, good lord” he says at crowley’s revolutionary outfit in the bastille, while eyeing him up like an entire meal. he’s so good at affected propriety, at carefully constructed stuffiness, but between the two of them aziraphale’s got to be the one who has experience
aziraphale had been physically throwing himself at crowley the entire season. he orchestrated an entire regency ball so they could touch hand to hand. he spends the entire season (well, and season 1) looking at crowley like he’s particularly coveted. he looked at crowley before the fall like he was glorious and beautiful. aziraphale’s queer and he knows it and i think that isn’t his problem, it’s the fact that he wants to build a different sort of future for the two of them but crowley’s gone and thrown a wrench in it by reminding him of everything he can finally have. like. that’s the heartbreak. it’s how dare you make this ugly? i forgive you for our first kiss being all pain and salt. it’s my dearest, i wanted to make heaven as beautiful as you deserve. as sacred and safe for us as our bookshop. and i can do that for us, because once i held a flaming sword and i still remember how the hilt felt in my hands. and now the taste of you is in my mouth.
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prettieinpink · 1 month
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REBRANDING YOURSELF
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COLLAB WITH THE HOTTIE????!!!!!!! @honeytonedhottie. LMAO NOT US PLANNING THIS IN LIKE DEC THEN RELEASING IN APRIL. I luv you so much ur my fav moot. moots who collab together, stay together. Check out her post on her page too, as usual, she makes the best points so y'all better listen.
Rebranding is a process in which you redefine who you are and how others perceive you. Each journey of rebranding yourself is personal and individual. When you rebrand yourself, you further align yourself with your higher you. This post is a guide to getting started on your journey!
UNDERSTAND YOUR CURRENT SELF.
So, take a step back and think about who you are as an individual right now. What are your values and beliefs? Does your external self reflect your inner self? Are you comfortable in your current environment?
These questions and more will help to see which aspects of your life you may need to redefine. See if there’s anything that doesn’t align with your higher self. 
After that, pick those aspects that need to be redefined. Why do you want to change this? How has this been impacting you internally/externally? Does this aspect stem from your environment or yourself? See why this aspect needs to be improved. 
DESIGNING YOUR BRAND
This is more of a fun step! So, using your aspects design how you want that specific thing to look and feel like. Avoid being vague or non-specific. Try to put in as much detail as you can for each aspect. 
If you’d prefer, you don’t have to use ‘aspects’ and instead use your life generally. This is your redesign, so do whatever is more comfortable and achievable for you.
ASPECTS
Health
Social life
Career
Hobbies
Family
Finance
Spirituality
Personal development (mindset, goals, improvement)
Self care
Culture
Well-being
Things to include
Achievable goals
How your environment looks like
How your daily life like
How you see yourself
What do you feel after
Why this is alignment within yourself? 
You can do this any way you want. The one I would recommend for redesigning your life would be a vision board, preferably a physical one. If you don’t want to do that, there are still a lot of options such as writing it down into a pretty poster, creating a playlist that will reflect your brand, creating a pretty list, or having sticky notes around your room as reminders. 
Be creative and detailed with this. You should spend at least an hour if not more trying to redesign your life/aspects.
CREATING GOALS
Goals are so important, especially when we are moving in a different direction than we were before. As we’ve got the current status of who we are and what we want to be, creating goals should be easy. 
Make your goals visible. Put a sticky note on your mirrors, put it as your laptop background, put a reminder on your phone, listen to a playlist that motivates you of your goals or anything else that will constantly remind you of your goals. 
Other than that, remember that goals have to be achievable, mindful, and flexible.
ESTABLISHING HABITS
Habits are so important to rebrand yourself. Habits make up your identity. The way you act, speak, and do daily, can subconsciously influence you to be someone who isn’t in alignment with your higher self.
 As much as it’s important to establish new habits that align with you, you have to root out the habits that are pushing you off track from achieving your goals. 
The good thing is that you can do both at the same time. Replace those old habits, with brand new ones. For example, when you open your phone first thing in the morning instead of opening up TikTok, get YouTube opened and start a 5-minute meditation to start your day.
However, just because a habit is beneficial for you, it doesn’t mean it is in alignment for you. For many people, they prefer to read books as a productive alternative for leisure, however, you may not be able to read a book and focus. In that case, you may want to watch an educational video instead. You’re still getting the benefits, but just in a different way. 
STEP FIVE: IMPLEMENTING YOUR BRAND DAILY
Think about all the little details of how this person would act, from morning until night. Embody their actions, words, aura, and vibes. This is when having a visual of your goals is good, so you can see what you need to do.
This includes no longer indulging in things your higher self wouldn’t do. Regardless of how much comfort, entertainment, or dopamine something gives you, you have to let it go if it is destroying your mind. 
I way I recommend implementing your brand daily by creating a daily routine that focuses on a different goal each day of the week. E.g:
Monday - Practicing being mindful (meditation, journaling, connecting with your religion)
Tuesday - Fitness (pilates, weightlifting, hot girl walks)
Wednesday - Socialising (going out to meet new people/connecting with old friends)
Thursday - Productivity (Schoolwork, studying, business, workplace tasks)
Friday - Self-care (taking a slow day however you’d like)
ta-daa!! thanks 4 reading. now go follow @honeytonedhottie 💕😍
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togrowoldinv · 9 months
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Best Friend’s Mom
Milf!Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader
You wake up next to your best friend’s mom and she begins to seduce you
Warnings: 18+ please! Smut! Kissing, cursing, oral (R receiving), thigh riding, Wanda being a complete milf
Note: I woke up thinking about this. Enjoy!
Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist
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You wake up to the feeling of someone brushing up against you. Her breasts rub against your back as her arm comes around your body.
You’d slept over at your best friend’s house, but this isn’t her. You glance at her hand to see a wedding ring and those hands you would recognize anywhere.
It’s Wanda. Your best friend’s mom. When had she gotten in the bed with you? You try to recount last night’s events but you’re not able to.
Wanda rubs her hand over your arm. You turn slightly in her embrace to look at her.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Wanda says. She’s acting like this is completely normal.
“Hey Ms. Maximoff,” you say. You’re quite dumbfounded by the whole thing.
But god, she looks so beautiful in the mornings. You’ve had a crush on her for years, but that always seemed childish to you. She was never going to like you back or risk her relationship with her daughter to be with you. Plus, she was a church going lady. She wouldn’t ever go for it.
Wanda smiles at you, noticing you’re having a lot of internal turmoil. You look away from the golden smile. It’s too perfect. It’s then that you notice you’re in her bedroom. Not your friend’s.
“You couldn’t sleep last night,” Wanda offers an explanation when she sees your confusion. “So, I offered to let you sleep with me. You know, just to calm you down.”
“Oh, um- thank you, Ms. Maximoff.”
“Please honey, you can call me Wanda. We have slept together now,” Wanda says.
You feel your entire body heat up at her words even though you know what she meant.
Wanda likes that you haven’t made a move to get out of her embrace yet. She even dares to pull you a little closer.
“Y/n,” Wanda begins. “My daughter has already gone to work for the day.”
“Okay. I’ll just be on my way,” you say, finally making an attempt to leave but Wanda pulls you back towards her.
She leans down over you from the side and it’s then you notice her nightgown. It’s loose in the front allowing for her breasts to be almost on full display for you by the way she’s leaning. Wanda smiles amusingly.
“I think you should stay here and we can do something about this crush of yours,” Wanda explains.
“I- it’s not-“
“Shh, it’s okay baby,” she says. She places a hand on your cheek. Her long fingers brush against your face. “I’ve seen you looking at me for years now. No sense in denying it. Am I right, sweetheart?”
“Yes- yes ma’am,” you say.
“Oh those manners,” Wanda chuckles. “I love them.”
You can’t help but preen a little at the praise. You feel it in your heart and so many other places. Wanda shifts to move closer to your face. Her breasts rest against your chest.
“I’ve been looking at you too, y/n. You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman,” Wanda says. You don’t reply and Wanda grabs your chin. “Don’t lose those manners on me now.”
“Sorry!” You say quickly, not wanting whatever this is to stop. “Thank you for the compliment, ma’am.”
“That’s a good girl,” Wanda says. “Now, this can happen a couple of different ways.”
You swallow thickly in anticipation of what ‘this’ is. But you’re ready.
“I’m going to kiss you now. If you hate it, we’ll stop. If you don’t hate it, we’ll keep going. And I’d really like to see that body of yours under mine, so please don’t hate it,” Wanda says.
Her words are calculated, like she’s been planning this. Or at least she thought of it before.
“I won’t hate it,” you assure her. That’s all she needs to have the confidence to start.
Wanda leans down and kisses your lips. She starts slow, pulling the softest moans from you by just kissing your lips. When her tongue licks against your lips, you feel like you could explode beneath her. Nothing has ever felt so good.
“Have you never had a woman’s tongue in your mouth, y/n?” Wanda asks you.
You wonder how she has with such a reputation as a perfect Christian she maintains. Everyone in town knows Wanda is a dedicated servant of the Lord.
“No ma’am,” you answer, breathless from her kisses.
“Me either,” Wanda admits. Oh, that changes things. “Only my husband’s and he’s been gone a long time.”
Wanda’s husband died years ago from an illness. You remember holding your best friend’s hand as she cried over her father. The reminder is almost enough to make you stop this, but Wanda keeps talking.
“I really need to do this, okay? You understand right, baby? I’m still so lonely and depraved,” Wanda says, revealing a more vulnerable side of this. She wasn’t just attacking you with affection for your sake. But also hers.
“Yes ma’am, I understand. Do whatever you want to me,” your words slip out. You want to cringe, but Wanda just grins wickedly.
This time, she kisses you while using her tongue. You use yours too as per her want for it. You and Wanda kiss for a long time before your hands begin to wander.
You grab her waist and pull her further on top of you. She gasps at the movement but recovers quickly. Wanda moves her kisses to your neck as her hands reach under your shirt hem.
“I want to see more of you,” Wanda says. She shifts her hips down to yours so she can lift your shirt off. She’s pleased you hadn’t slept with a bra on. Her hands immediately move over your breasts. Her fingers grip already hardened nipples.
You bunch her night down up at her waist and pull it further up her body. You knew she worked out, having seen her leaving the gym a few times, but nothing prepared you for seeing her perfectly toned body.
“You’re so beautiful,” you find yourself breathing out.
Wanda looks at you through her long eyelashes. She smiles softly, appreciating the compliment.
You sit up and take the nightgown off of Wanda. She’s bare underneath. Not even panties adorn her body.
“Fuck,” you mumble.
“That’s quite the language for a sweet girl like you,” Wanda says, her tone a bit scolding.
“Sorry ma’am,” you say. But you’re not.
Wanda makes the move to bring your hands to her breasts. She keeps her hands on yours as you massage them and play with her nipples.
What she doesn’t expect is when you lean in and take the nipples in your mouth one at a time. You suck on them. Wanda’s head falls back in pleasure as she grips your shoulders to stay upright.
“Oh, baby. Keep going,” Wanda says. “That feels so good.”
You keep it up while Wanda begins grinding against your leg. You can feel her wetness pooling onto your thigh and helping her continue to move against you.
“I’ve imagined this so many times,” Wanda says. “You and me sneaking around and having sex.”
“Mhm,” you mumble against her chest. You’ve imagined it too.
“So many nights I- fuck-“ Wanda tries to keep talking, but her orgasm begins washing over her.
You keep sucking her nipples and holding the back of her hips as she comes against you. Her moans are musical as she reaches her high and comes back down.
Wanda rests her forehead against your shoulder. You rub her back softly and rest your head in her neck.
“You did so good, Ms. Maximoff,” you say, keeping that name for her.
“Hmm, thank you baby,” Wanda says.
“What were you going to say earlier?” You ask her.
“When?”
“You said so many nights,” you supply. “So many nights what?”
“Oh,” Wanda says.
She’s recovered now and she pulls away from your shoulder. She takes your face between her hands and kisses your lips soundly.
“I was going to say so many nights I had to fuck myself and pretend it was you so I could get off,” Wanda says.
Your eyes go wide at her words. And you feel the unresolved ache between your legs strengthen once again.
“Um- what did you imagine?” You ask.
Wanda makes an adorable thinking face and you realize it is more than just physical attraction you feel for her all the time. It’s really that you love everything she does.
“I imagined you’d eat me out,” Wanda says. “And then I’d do the same for you. Sometimes I’d imagine you wearing a strap and making me feel so good.”
“Fuck, Ms. Maximoff,” you say. “I hope I can live up to that.”
“You will, baby. I’d like to eat you out now,” Wanda says. “May I?”
“Yes ma’am,” you say, anticipation somehow calming your nerves.
Wanda slides down your body and leaves kisses as she goes. She makes you feel worshipped in every move.
“All of this for me?” She asks as she reaches your wet underwear. She slips them down your legs and dives in.
Wanda kisses your pussy before she switches to licking. She seems to know what she’s doing and you wander how.
“Mmm, all of this wet pussy is for me?” Wanda asks. She wants a reply.
“Yes ma’am. All for you, Ms. Maximoff,” you say.
“Try again,” she instructs.
“Oh- um-“ you stumble out. She goes back to work while you figure it out. “All for you, Mommy?”
“Good girl,” Wanda says. You got it right.
You lay back on the bed as Wanda takes your clit in her mouth. She’s enjoying this, having you all wrapped up in her.
“Fuck, mommy. I’m going to come,” you say. Wanda picks up her pace, sucking your clit like it’s her favorite thing in the world.
Soon, you’re coming for her. She revels in it, licking you clean and taking her time kissing back up your body.
Wanda kisses your lips at last and you can’t help but smile into the kiss. She does the same.
“That was everything I thought it would be,” Wanda says, a content sigh falling from her mouth. She lays next to you in bed and you two look at each other.
“Even better,” you say. “Let’s do it again sometime?”
“Why not right now?” Wanda asks.
You won’t argue with that. You let her kiss you deeply again and you tangle your hands in her hair.
You’ve never been so glad you went to over to your friend’s house.
And Wanda doesn’t regret convincing you to sleep with her the night before, even though you don’t remember the red tendrils telling you to go to her room.
That day it was all your choice. She just decided you needed a little push.
One day maybe she’ll tell you there’s magic coursing through her veins, but for now you’ll sneak around and sleep with her again and again.
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norrisleclercf1 · 1 year
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You’re My Book Boyfriend
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none, just a reporter being gross, booktok books mentioned
A/N: This is horrible, I’ve been sick since yesterday and wrote this while half dying from being sick, so apologies for whatever this is
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It was known that Carlos was dating someone, but no one really knew for who. Fans and media would get a glimpse of you once in a while, but it needed to be longer for anyone to really speculate anything, like in the past. But that would never really happen. You didn't want to be in the spotlight, which is ironic since you're dating an international athlete.
Meeting Carlos was an utter accident. Your father was some big sponsor for Ferrari's F1 team and was granted tickets to one of the races, which your father had dragged you to. Sitting in a corner, you didn't think anyone would find you; you just wanted to read your book. It was a good book series as you were reading Katee Roberts new series, and it was so good.
Getting comfortable, you become unaware of your surroundings, but your eyes catch a movement of red, and it freezes, making you look up. Casting your eyes up, you blink at the person and take them in. Do you know those traditional ways of describing the male lead in the book? Yeah, this guy was the definition of male lead looks. Sun-kissed skin, honey eyes, and thick hair curling around his ears and neck, you try hard not to admire the rest of him. He stares at you like a deer in headlights, almost expecting you to bother him, but you just look back down at your book, more interested in Eros and Psyche than the real man in front of you.
The guy stares at you, shocked you paid him no mind as he moves, sits down on one of the couches, and just lays back like he owns the place. You try to ignore how he fidgets around, trying to get comfortable, or when he types loudly on his phone.
"Can't you just stay still? You're acting like you own the damn building." You snap, annoyed with your peace being interrupted.
"My face is on the side of the building, so I guess so." The man snips back, and you try hard not to blush from his accent or the fact you just insulted one of the Ferrari drivers.
"Which one are you?" You ask and almost laugh from the absolute shock on the man's face.
"Carlos Sainz." He mumbles like he just got knocked down a peg, which he was.
"My dad likes you. I guess that's why he sponsors you." You shrug and put your nose back in your book, ending the conversation.
That was Carlos's first conversation with you and one he remembered. After that, you slowly started to come around more and more, your father thought maybe you were enjoying the sport, and you did. You decided to read Lauren Asher's Dirty Air series and concluded that she definitely framed Santiago after Carlos, which always made you blush.
Carlos would always find you in some random spot of the motorhomes, with a book next to you. This time you had a book called Twisted Games on your lap. He froze, realizing you had fallen asleep in the morning sun. Your head was tilted back, your hair slightly messy, and your clothes comfortable. He couldn't help but picture himself coming home and seeing you like this on his couch.
After that, he set his mind to asking you out. He loved being able to talk to you about everything and anything and never having to talk about F1. Yes, he loved his job, but sometimes being with someone with no interest was the best. Asking you out was simple. He noticed which book series you were reading and decided to get the last book before it was released. It took a lot of convincing, but he gifted you, Twisted Lies, resulting in you kissing him. You shocked you both, but when you went to pull away, Carlos kicked into gear and kissed you back as his arms lightly wrapped around your waist. After that, the rest was history.
"Carlos, have you seen my book?" You asked your boyfriend. He was sitting outside enjoying the sun as it was Friday and had just gotten done with media and was enjoying the quiet around the paddock until it became swarmed with people for the evening practice.
"C'mere." He grumbles, not opening his eyes as you huff but moving towards your boyfriend. He pulls you into his lap, making you sit down as he draws you closer, kissing your neck and squirming, but you lay your head down, his chin resting on your head.
Neither of you cared to be in this position as you sat on the roof motorhome under the shade of the net that covered it; barely anyone could see the two of you. You move around some more, but Carlos's fingers dig slightly into your hip, making you stop.
"Unless you want to cause a problem, I suggest you stop." He whispers, almost nuzzling you as his words make your skin tickle.
"You pulled me on your lap, so it's your fault." You tease, making him laugh and finally open his eyes to look at you.
He watches you as you look around the area listening to the crowd of people slowly grow more and more as it inches closer to the first practice for the weekend. Carlos always hates leaving you because he never knows who's trying to find you or be around you, and he hates it. Carlos just wants to make sure that you're okay. After rumors got out of you two dating, he's been meticulous with keeping you out of the public eye. You always remind him that you'll be in your corner, where you both first meet, reading and book and watching the practice or race.
He knows that you'll be mainly reading a book more than anything.
"Please be careful. The media is heavier this weekend; I don't want them overwhelming you." He whispers, his grip tightening on your hips, making you nod.
You both remember the last time a reporter got a hold of you; he was insulting and disgusting and asked you about your sex life. You vaguely recall running into Carlos while the reporter kept following you. Carlos is usually the calm one, with a level head, but when he hears the question about which of you is on top, he loses it. It took multiple mechanics and Charles to pull Carlos off the guy; of course, the speculations of what caused this was spinning, but Carlos turned off both your phones and held you close for the rest of the night. Anytime it was mentioned, Carlos still saw red.
"I'll stay away. Besides, I prefer my book and you; that's all I need." You giggle, which has Carlos calming down.
When a soft dinging sound from Carlos's phone goes off, your boyfriend sighs, lifts you up, and pats your ass gently, telling you to get up. Carlos stands, stretches, and looks down at you as you admire the peak of his happy trail, really hating that he must leave. Chuckling, his hand wraps around your jaw, and you look at him as he leans down, kissing you gently but possessively. Pulling away, he pulls your bottom lip slightly, making you whine as he gives you a quick peck on the lips before fixing his hat.
"Please be safe, don't wander, and read your book. Hmm, I looked it up. News things to try." he winks, making you laugh and blush, waving him off as he jogs down the stairs.
Yeah, he's better than any book guy.
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ash-says · 3 months
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Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 2:
1) Get your basics straight. Education. Boundaries. Financial independence. Further breaking it down and linking it if you get proper education at some point you are bound to get an awareness of this world, if you are able to adapt and improvise yourself and develop your emotional intelligence and get your boundaries straight you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama and problems. Education (formal and informal) both will help you in gaining opportunities and if you are financially independent, you are holding the power to make your own decisions.
2) Develop thick skin. Your mom is calling you names. Slut, whore and what not. Your dad doesn't trust you and abuses you physically. So, what now? Are you going to let them define what you are or internalize the anger and use it as a fuel to become successful? Choice is yours.
3) They say you don't owe an explanation to anyone. Sorry to burst your little bubble. Actually you do. We live in a society and have relationships that we need to maintain for survival. This hyper independent stuff is only good to read. We have responsibilities that we need to fulfill. If you don't owe an explanation to anyone then don't cry about a closure from someone too. If you can live by this go ahead and practice it.
4) Stop isolating yourself. That's it. That's the point.
5) First kill the fear inside you. Being a rebel outside the house is no good. Be disciplined. Know how to manipulate your family members in your favor and if you can't just find the weak points and threaten. I know it's difficult to implement but you learn through trial and error. Plus something is better than nothing.
6) Stop glorifying people who treat you with kindness and love. That's the bare minimum. Just because you didn't get it served in a silver spoon doesn't mean it is not served in a silver spoon. People can have ulterior motives and even if they don't fix it in your brain that's normal. No rose colored glasses allowed.
7) Don't be afraid of indulging in your sexuality. No I am not saying go and have sex with people. I mean it in a deeper sense. Connect with the repressed sexual side and try to find healthy outlets. Don't dim yourself to fit in others'expectations or to ease someone's insecurity. Be unapologetic about your wants and desires. Know yourself. It's a powerful energy source if you know how to use it positively.
8) Cry, cry and cry. Wail like a child. No need to keep it all in. No need to act like a macho woman BUT only in front of your god or your belief system. Max in front of your truly trusted people.
9) Question everything as easily as breathing. Doubt every thing. Every action. Every person. What proof do you have to not doubt ? Stop giving benefit of doubts. Stop looking for excuses on how they could be good and instead look for ways in which they can harm you. That's your lottery to be poised and composed. It's just what it is.
10) Obsession. We have it in loads. That's natural to us. So the trick here is to be obsessive. Hella obsessive but about things, topics, goals, subjects, inanimate things,etc. God forbid but never be obsessive about a person. Not even over your dead body. Why? For that I need to make another detailed post I think.
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chlorinecake · 5 months
Text
𓂃 watercolor eyes | park wonbin oneshot
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⚡︎ pairing: Stoner!Wonbin x Female!Reader | ⚡︎ word count: 7.8k | ⚡︎ genre: mutual pining, college au, smut (⚠︎) | ⚡︎ contains: awkward relationships, an original character + sungchan and shotaro, swearing, drug use/distribution, angst (?), mild dacryphilia, sexual tension mixed with fluff, kissing, unprotected sex while buzzed, heavy petting, oral (m. r)
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ON TOP OF countless other obligations in your life, upcoming exams were kicking your anxiety's ass with the biggest fucking boots imaginable.
All you wanted was to take the edge off, and at this point, you didn’t care what it’d take to do that.
Introducing Exhibit A: Your closest friend and roommate, Roxanne, who so conveniently happened to be a junkie.
You brought up your need for a “quick fix” (so to speak) while studying in your dorm together one afternoon. Though, she offered to get you some help from another friend of hers who you’d never met before.
“Wait, you want me to go with you?” You asked in confusion, already prepared to reject Roxanne’s proposal at the idea of personally consulting her drug dealer.
“Yes, you're coming with me… What do you think this is, Kiki’s Delivery Service?”
“No, but… I-"
“Don’t tell me you’re chickening out, ____,” she chuckled, turning the steering wheel as she trailed down a shadowy lane.
“No, I… I want this… I need this even, it’s just that…I don’t really know what to expect…”
“Then don’t expect anything,” she answered, giving you an encouraging smile that came off as more condescending, “Expectations are for pussies anyways.”
“Roxanne, I’ve never even met this guy before,” you pressed, hoping that she’d maybe let you sit outside in the car instead of actually speaking with him.
“Look, I’m close with my dealer, and as I always say, a friend of mine is a friend of yours.”
Cue your internal sigh of submission.
“Okay,” you said, straightening your posture in your seat with a feigned confidence.
“Uhhhh, are you sure with that ‘okay,’ or is it more like an ‘okay, I have more questions’ type of ‘okay’?”
“No,” you clarified, “it means what I said… I’m okay.”
���Okay,” she nodded, before giving you a brief synopsis about this friend of hers: STEM major, weed connoisseur, and art-hoe with a shy guy undercut.
Doesn’t sound anywhere near as daunting as the drug dealers on TV shows appear to be, right?
She pulled up to one of the apartment complexes a few miles from your university. It was one of the lower quality establishments, with the only oddity being how nice the vehicles parked outside the apartment divisions were, a sleek black motorcycle belonging to none other than the mysterious drug smuggler named Wonbin Park.
“Hey, take off your hood, silly, it’s rude,” Roxanne nudged, locking her car from the keys in her pocket more times than necessary.
“But… what if someone sees us?,” you whispered, walking closely beside her.
“Then I’m glad their eyes are working? Hell, I don’t fucking know what they’d want me to tell ‘em,” she shrugged, walking up to the front door.
“So are you acting like a nonchalant loser on purpose, or is this just your way of trying to calm me down?”
Roxanne laughed hysterically at your words, showcasing the sparkly pink gem decorating her upper canine teeth as she patted you on the back.
“We’re just here for weed, babe. That will help calm you down before I can.”
You had almost missed the part where she knocked as you got lost in your head, the front door suddenly opening and basking you both with a sudden warmth, contrasting with the cold evening weather.
“Roxie?,” asked the male from the doorstep that you fought with every bone in your body to avoid making eye contact with.
“Wonie?” Your friend mocked goofily, walking up to hug the boy briefly before grabbing your hand and pulling you inside, “I hope you don’t mind that I brought a friend.”
“Not at all, my place is always open to you and your girlfriends,” he chirped with forced yet gentle enthusiasm.
“Uhhhh, she’s just a friend, considering how we’ve only slept together while clothed before… but thanks anyway!”
“Any time,” he replied confidently, walking up to the sink that was conveniently in his living room before re-lighting the dead bud of the joint he held gracefully between his plump lips, ashes falling from the tip before he inhaled a thick huff.
Some of the ash fell on his lower abdomen, and you were just now realizing that he didn’t have a shirt on.
Good thing you were used to the smell of pot by now, thanks to Roxanne’s inevitable habit of greening out every Friday night.
“So, what brings you ladies in today? I’d hate to break it to you, but I used my last condom just a few hours ago.”
“Yeah, we’re actually here for a different kind of pipe this time,” Roxanne answered, blinking as if trying to communicate with him to ditch the wild language.
“Oh,” he said, doe eyes widening as his mouth hung a little, his bunny teeth shining right back at you.
Stop staring at his mouth.
Stop staring at his mouth-
“I uh… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything,” he smiled softly, and of course you noticed because that’s where your eyes were glued the entire time, so distracted that it startled you when he reached to shake your hand.
“I’m Wonbin, but… you can call me anything you like, really.”
“It’s alright,” you returned, finally coming back to the present, “I’m ____.”
His initially confident demeanor stemmed from his assumption that you were more flamboyant like Roxanne, but he made note to be less vulgar until he could tell you warmed up to him.
Until he properly warmed up to you.
“So uh, yeah, do you want the usual, or were you thinking to try something new?” Wonbin asked casually as he leaned on the back of the sofa.
“Hmm,” Roxie hummed in thought, “yeah, my usual’s good. Just lay off the stronger stuff in the mix, though. It’s her first time.”
Something about what she said made Wonbin smile, wide and excited, peeking at you through his shaggy bangs with zero intent of hiding it.
Was he… flirting with you?
“Well, it’s my pleasure to be your first then,” he winked, getting up from the couch and heading to another room on his flat.
“You two kittens just wait here and I’ll be back with your stuff in a minute,” he claimed, which actually ended up being around an 8 minute wait while you and Roxanne went on and on about something you can’t even remember now.
The smile evaporated from Roxanne’s face as Wonbin returned to the living room while reciting the order. “You’ve got two ounces of-”
“I know the recipe, moron. You might scare my friend away if you say it out loud…,” she joked, feigning a pout as she hugged your shoulder, “so how much do you want for it, candy man?”
“It’s on the house this time,” Wonbin said, “so long as you bring me dinner tonight.”
“Fucking fat ass,” she spat, “what’re you craving?”
“Something warm,” he replied almost immediately, “with seasoned meat and a sauce… Maybe some rice, too.”
“Gotcha,” Roxie chirped as she pushed off of her knees to stand up.
Wonbin walked up to hand her the goody bag with such politeness, almost in the way that a child would give something to his big sister.
“Cool. I like eating around 7 o’clock, so you know when and where to find me.”
“Yes, through your stomach and all the way up to your greedy little heart.”
“Mhm,” he said with a satisfied hum, taking Roxanne’s spot on the couch as she walked towards the door. You and Wonbin were now sitting next to each other, his arms spread out on the back of the couch in a relaxed manner.
“Uhm, ____?”
“Oh, right! Sorry… I didn’t know we were finished,” you stammered, getting up from the couch to meet Roxanne at the door.
“Yeah, took him long enough,” she rolled her eyes, “I was starting to think he wanted us to spend the night…”
“Alright, get out of my apartment already,” he said playfully, waving a hand as if shooing you two, “and make sure to secure the bottom lock for me, I don’t feel like getting back up yet.”
“Whatever.”
Slam.
The door was closed, 50% locked, and you two were heading back down the staircase, cold air greeting you once again before you both got back in the car, driving back to your dorm room to drop off the drugs first, and then to the grocery store…
… to buy a bag of rice and a fresh pack of chicken.
“WHAT’S THAT NOISE?,” Roxanne asked with animatedly furrowed eyebrows, holding the grocery bag you two had packed Wonbin’s “dinner” in.
You ended up making a chicken roast with carrots, potatoes, gravy, and steamed rice like he asked.
“Here, hold this,” Roxanne mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear before she dropped the bag, your reflects luckily kicking in fast enough for you to catch it before the glass container could hit the concrete stair well.
“It’s as cold as a snowman’s grave out here, Wonie, open up!,” She yelled while banging on the front door, the little dream catcher that hung on the inner side jingling with her forceful hits, “Hellooooo?”
“You’re like Doordash but with the temper of FedEx,” you heard a deep voice say from behind the walls.
“But I only charge herbal fees for my services,” she added while crossing her arms.
Creek.
The door slung open, Wonbin’s muscular arms framing the entrance with a fed up look plastered on his face.
There were two people sitting behind him on the couch playing video games. A violent game, you’d assume, given the sporadic and sharp flashes of light that filled the room.
“Is there some kind of a secret password now or something?,” Roxanne asked impatiently, not as entertained my the view of Wonbin’s still shirtless body like you were.
“Oh, right… come on in ladies,” he said with a feigned smile, extending a hand to welcome you two back in, “hope you brought enough food, because I have guests.”
You followed Roxanne and Wonbin to the kitchen, where you placed the steaming bag of food on the counter before taking out the containers. That’s when Roxanne started grabbing dishes from the cabinet.
The glass plates clinked behind you as you went to search for a serving spoon in the drawer. “Hey… where are the spoons and forks?,” you asked while still looking through one of his kitchen drawers before Wonbin suddenly tapped you on the shoulder.
“I uhm… I keep the utensils in here,” he smiled shyly, just as he reached for the overhead counter to grab the silverware he kept in a box. Your breath got caught in your chest as you felt his hips nearly fuse with yours in the moment. Luckily, he couldn’t see how flustered you appeared underneath his shadow.
“Gimme that,” Roxanne giggled, snatching the box from him and taking out two large ladles, one for the rice and another for the roast.
“Gosh, that smells amazing! Can you put cheese on mine, pretty please?,” you heard one of the boys ask from the couch, peeking over his shoulder with soft eyes.
“Yes, Taro, I can put some cheese on it for you… even though I think it’s weird,” Roxanne smiled.
“Ahh, thanks man. Oh- and who’s the new girl?” He went on, placing the controller down as he was no longer interested in playing.
“Just a friend in need of a good time—” Wonbin answered, which shocked you to say the least, “—so be nice, Sungchan.”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?,” The taller boy pitched in, “but does she even talk?”
The room went quiet for a moment, the only sound being Sungchan’s clicks from the remote controller before he got gunned down by a random player.
“Dammit, Shotaro! Why’d you stop playing? Now we’re tied with the other team!!”
“Too bad, so sad, bro. I’m hungry,” he chirped, getting up from the couch to help you bring the plates to everyone.
“Woah, who’s the big plate for?” Shotaro asked with widened eyes.
“Me and Sungchan,” Roxanne said with a satisfied smile, “we’re sharing.”
“Oh… you didn’t tell me you and Sungchan were on good terms now,” you said, breaking your awkward streak of silence, just now recognizing the taller boys face from Roxanne’s phone.
She always talked about Sungchan and his “big stupid dick,” as she liked calling it.
The pair stopped being cool with each other for reasons you don’t really remember anymore, but you’d take her sudden affection towards him over the violence you witnessed during one of her texting fits the other night.
“Shhh,” she giggled, meeting Sungchan on the couch before sitting on his lap, “I hope you don’t mind me feeding you in front of your little friends… unless that makes you shy,” she pouted.
All he did was open his mouth in response, savoring the taste of the first spoon she fed him.
It was a sickeningly cute sight to be honest.
“Sick and twisted,” Shotaro said as if reading your mind.
“Cry about it,” Sungchan joked between a mouth full of saucy rice, heart swelling from the way Roxanne cooed at him.
You and Wonbin were just now making it to the living room after getting some napkins for everyone. There was room left for the two of you on the couch thanks to Roxie sitting on Sungchan’s lap, but that meant you and Wonbin would be sandwiched together in the middle.
Great.
“Come on guys, take a seat,” Roxie said before taking a bite of the food, her teeth grazing the metal fork with a loud scrap.
“God, I hate when you do that,” Sungchan sighed, tickling her sides as she laughed uncontrollably.
“Stop that, asshole, before I drop this food everywhere!”
“That’d be a shame, this chicken is so good,” Wonbin hummed with a nod, stuffing his cheeks with more of the gravy.
“____ made it,” Roxie pitched, giving you a look.
Despite how hard you tried to fight it, you were started to feel pretty awkward.
You knew it had a lot to do with Wonbin, thanks to his cripplingly annoying quirk to not put a damn shirt on.
You did eventually warm up to everyone, even pitching in on some of Sungchan’s dad jokes.
Though, the stack of empty dishes in the center of the living room table seemed more alive than your spirits right now.
The inevitable tiredness that came with staying up late without a phone in your hand started to kick in.
“Hey, I’m gonna go wash up these dishes real quick,” Wonbin said, glancing your way for reasons you almost couldn’t process between the loud laughter of Shotaro and Roxie over whatever dirty joke Sungchan told about SpongeBob and Patrick.
Did he want you to come with him? Alone?
Yes.
By now, Wonbin was no longer in the living room, having walked to the kitchen sink where he proceeded to run soapy dish water.
The scent of lemon wafted through the dimly lit space as you stepped beside him to get the dish towel.
“Sorry,” you said nervously, noticing the way he jumped as your hand grazed his arm slightly.
“It’s alright, you just surprised me,” Wonbin smiled, drying his hands before walking over to the other side of the counter, opening a plastic bag filled with what appeared to be blunt wraps and another bag filled with fluffy green.
“You just leave that stuff out on your counter?,” You asked, voice kind of quiet over the running water.
“Mhm…,” he started, “it’s not like the cops are just gonna raid my house randomly… unless… you were to say something,” he winked, putting a filler along the inside of the wrap before sprinkling in some herb, then tucking it tightly.
“Your secrets safe with me,” you said, the faucet squeaking as you turned the water off.
“____.”
“Yes?” You asked in confusion almost… he was already starting to use your name so normally.
“Pass me that lighter from over there,” he pointed before sticking his tongue out, licking the inner side on the blunt wrap to seal it.
His pretty tongue glistened underneath the kitchen lights, captivating you once again.
Fuck, stop staring, you internally swore at yourself.
He put the blunt between his lips, waiting for you to light the tip. “Stop moving, silly,” you giggled, holding his face in place with your other hand to keep him still as he playfully moved his head around to give you a hard time.
A tiny giggle erupted from his throat, too, making your smile linger for a little longer before he bid his thanks, inhaling a huff of the smoke and exhaling it through his nose.
“Hmmm,” he hummed as he cleared his throat. By now you were leaning against the sink with no intention of washing the dishes any time soon. No intention of leaving the kitchen, either.
“C’mere,” he offered, reaching for your chin in the same way you did to him earlier before inching closer to your face.
“Wonbin-”
“Just part your lips for me, okay?” He asked in a light voice, “I want you to try it with me.”
You nodded at his words, hesitantly parting your lips as he slowly set the blunt between the opening you allowed for him.
“Okay now seal your lips,” he said, licking his own, “and inhale… slowly.”
You obeyed his words, taking a steady breath in as the warm and cloudy smoke filled your mouth… then your stomach… then your senses.
“Oh, shit,” you cursed, coughing at the way the smoke hit the back of your throat, to which Wonbin only laughed at your reaction.
“Good job, newbie,” he teased, running you a glass of water before passing it to you, your teary eyes staring back at him in a mix of embarrassment, regret, and intrigue.
“How was hitting it,” he asked, pearly eyes staring back at you.
“Just as bad as I thought,” you admitted.
“Yeah… they effects will start kicking in pretty fast, too,” he chuckled, proceeding to take a huff from the same blunt. “But,” he started, voice falling to an alto, “you know that wasn’t free, right?”
“Excuse me?” You asked, watching as he lazily cradled the joint in his two fingers.
“I only do favors for Roxie because we’re chill like that…,” he paused, biting his lip derisively as he tilted his head, “I hardly know you, though.”
You didn’t even bother checking your pockets because you knew you came empty handed.
“Aww, what is it, baby?,” he cooed, turning your chin to face him again as he took another huff from the joint.
“I didn’t bring any cash with me, unfortunately,” you replied with a halfhearted expression, already feeling yourself get dizzy.
He noticed the way you began to tear up even more from the smoke he was now gently blowing in your face.
“You’re eyes look pretty right now,” he smiled, staring way harder than he should’ve, “how do you feel?”
All of a sudden your core starting to heat up, making your legs feel as though you were merely hovering over the floor. You didn’t feel grounded anymore because you were overcome with a feeling of light.
“A little warm,” you started dryly, “but like… numb and euphoric at the same time.”
“In here?” He asked, placing a hand on your upper stomach, resting dangerously close to your tits.
“No…. It’s uh… a bit lower,” you said, reaching for his wrist before pulling his hand away from you.
That’s when you caught a glimpse of a colorful splash decorating his wrist. “That’s pretty,” you smiled, adoring the tattoo from afar.
“You think so?” He asked sarcastically before whispering in your ear, “too bad compliments won’t pay my bills.”
You sighed at his words, watching as he braced his body weight on the counter before your right hand found a mind of it’s own, reaching out to trace a line up his defined abdomen.
“Then allow me to repay you in another way,” you offered, poking his flesh with your nail a bit, “you like my cooking, don’t you?”
“Very much so, yes. But you could try pleasing me somewhere else… ‘A bit lower,’ like you said,” he whispered seductively, eyes in a daze as he guided your hand by your delicate wrist to the center of his belt buckle, a line of hair leading to the bulge buried behind his baggy jeans.
A thick vein trailed from his thumb to his forearm before his grip left your wrist.
“Wanna take a closer look?” He offered, drawing your attention back to the colorful spot on his skin even though your first mind thought he was talking about something naughtier.
“Sure,” you answered quietly, taking his hand again to examine the design, “a butterfly?”
“A moth, actually… it’s a little more masculine if you ask me,” he added, the shadow of a proud smile ghosting over his lips.
“But it has watercolored eyes,” you pointed out.
“True… So it’s like.. more ambiguous I guess?”
“Maybe… or it could just be a beautiful man,” you voiced, stroking over his skin with the pad of your thumb.
You liked this.
The look of his skin, but more so the way it felt.
The way touching him made you feel.
“Uhmmmm, guys?,” Shotaro cried out from the living room, the energy in his voice breaking the stillness of the moment, “I’m pretty sure Sungchan and Roxie are about to start fucking each other in a few seconds, and I could use a little help in here!”
You and Wonbin made eye contact at Shotaro’s words, the same thought filling both your heads:
“What?”
“Just get in here, quickly! They’re taking each others clothes off!!!”
“FUCK, MY STOMACH still hurts like a bitch from laughing so hard yesterday night,” Roxie sighed, cheeks a flushed hue either from the three shots of brandy she just guzzled or the three comforters she was wrapped in on her side of your shared room.
“Yeah… I had a great time hanging out with everyone,” you said, only half-present as other thoughts floated around in your mind.
Thoughts about when you would get to see Wonbin again?
What you two would even do?
How Roxanne would react if she knew Wonbin had been stuck in your mind like gum on a-
“What the hell are you thinking about?”
Oh shit.
“Uhm… Nothing, why?”
“It’s gotta be something,” Roxie pressed, staring at you from across the room through her false eyelashes, “you were moaning in your sleep last night with that same look on your face.”
Wow. She was quite a fast talker for someone so tipsy.
“I was?”
“Mhm,” she smirked cheekily, trailing a finger along the knitted seam of her bed sheet.
“Tell me who you were thinking about… I’ll know if you’re lying, too,” she pressed.
“I was just… gosh, why is that making me so flustered,” you sighed, hiding your face in your pillows.
“C’mon, spit it out, ____!”
“I was thinking about Wonie, okay?,” you finally admitted, hoping it would make her shut up.
“Hmm…,” she started with a satisfied smirk, “you’ve already starting calling him by a nickname, I see… what’s up with that?”
“Nothing at all,” you smiled aggressively, watching as she spread herself out on the mattress like a star fish, “would you like me to call Sungchan over to keep you company while I’m out?”
“He’s already on his way over, silly,” she smiled, flexing her fingers around nothing, “wait, where are you going, anyway?”
“Nowhere special… probably just gonna talk a walk around campus. But don’t worry, I’ll wait for your boyfriend to get here before I leave.”
She pouted at your words, lower lip poking out like a baby, “Aww… stupid… big dick Sungie’s my boyfriend… ehehe…”
SUNGCHAN SHOWED UP shortly after you managed to get Roxanne back to bed. Praying that they wouldn’t end up fucking in your bedroom while you were gone, you put on a jacket with hopes of taking that walk to clear your head, even though now you simply hit a joint to calm your nerves.
That’s when you heard a pair of footsteps approaching from outside your door, just as you were about to zip up your winter boots.
Knock, knock, knock.
A a warm feeling erupted in your stomach, making your fingers freeze at your ankles.
Standing up to peek through the door-hole, you saw Wonbin’s plump lips first, before his bright brown eyes stared back at you.
Shit, why was he here?
“Hey, I can hear you breathing from behind the door… well, whoever you are,” he giggled, which made you giggle a bit too.
There’s no way you were gonna get out of this now, but you still counted down from ten before opening the door.
“Hi,” you smiled, letting him in, “don’t know how you got on campus, let alone to my dorm room, but okay.”
“I’m friends with Roxie, remember?”
“Yes, but I don’t remember you visiting here before… like, ever.”
Even if he had, it’s not like you’d be able to forget a face or presence like his.
“Nice shirt, by the way,” you teased, poking him in the stomach to which he smiled.
That terribly cute smile of his.
“Yeah I uh… wear them sometimes,” he replied, adjusting the beanie he wore before speaking again, “Where is she, anyway?”
“Pretending to be asleep so I can cuddle with her while she sucks on me… well… not there but… nevermind,” Sungchan interupted, walking from the room with now disheveled hair.
“Hell, I left for like three seconds, what happened,” you asked, observing the fresh purple bruise on Sungchan’s neck.
“Roxie gets unbelievably horny whenever she’s drunk for some reason, and I refuse to do anything with her when half of her mind is on fucking mars,” he sighed, going to the fridge and pulling out a can of soda.
“She’s lucky I let her do this much… Wait- I thought you said you weren’t coming?” Sungchan said to Wonbin with a suspicious look.
So Wonbin was invited to your place. How fun.
“Ahh, I changed my mind out of boredom...”
“Right,” Sungchan nodded while walking to the front door, “I’ve gotta go get a lighter from my truck, but I’ll be back if Roxie asks for me.”
“Hey uh, me and ____ can go get it for you if you want,” Wonbin offered, flashing you a look.
“Really, I mean I parked pretty far away, but-”
“It’s fine, really, I saw where your truck on my way here.“
“____?” Sungchan said your name as if searching for your approval, to which you nodded which a humble, “Yeah, I don’t mind.”
“Alright then, go ahead. But take your time though so you don’t slip and break your asses…”
WONBIN LOOKED IN the roof compartment of Sungchan’s truck, just as the lighter fell down, slipping between the small crack in the seat.
“Shit,” he cursed upon trying to reach for it, “my hands too big to get it.”
“Hey, I can try getting it for you,” you offered, watching as he made room for you to take his place in the vehicle.
The drawstring of your underwear clinging to your hips as your shirt fell down your waist with gravity.
“Are you wearing a thong?” Wonbin asked, cold index finger hooking with the thin strap of your panties before pulling back and releasing it with a snap.
“Ahh, what the hell, Won!,” You yelped, retreating from the seat to swat his hands from you, “you’re supposed to be helping me!”
“No, we’re supposed to be helping Sungchan. Now get back to work,” he order you playfully, pointing back down to where the lighter fell.
You shook your head, bending back over in an attempt to retrieve the lighter once again.
He was only teasing you because he wanted to see more of your personality.
He couldn’t say that things were moving fast between you thanks to the inevitably awkward grounds your first impression of each other was cultivated upon, but he still wanted to get past the shy stage.
Skip all of the a baby steps and just start running with you.
Weakened grunts fell from your lips as you desperately fished for the lighter, your hips looking a mere second from bursting through your tight jeans given the position you were in.
“Shit,” Wonbin cursed under his breath, feeling a sense of warmth grow on his cheeks as he darted his eyes away from you.
“Oh,” you said with a muffled sounding voice.
“Um, y-yeah? What’s up?” He stuttered, still looking off into the distance.
“I’ve got the lighter… And some spare change,” you chirped, clasping the findings in your hand before reaching a foot down cautiously.
“Isn’t that stealing?” Wonbin teased, finally looking back to only see your foot slipping on the wet condensation from the truck’s running board.
“____, watch your step!” He called out with a slightly raised voice, his hands finding your waist to protect your fall, which only led to you both tumbling down together.
A strained groan erupted from Wonbin’s throat as his back hit the cold hard ground first, your body weight falling onto his center as your hands hit the gravel, slightly scuffing your skin.
You hadn’t even realized that your eyes were closed the entire time until you finally opened them, the coins you held being scattered about as Wonbin’s wide bunny eyes scanned you with shock.
His arms framed his head, nose a little red from the weather and a sprinkle of snowflakes dusting his black beanie.
“Are you…are you okay?,” he started, voice trailing off as it finally clicked in his mind that you were straddling him on the ground, essentially in public.
He couldn’t pin a finger on what it was about you that made him feel all shy like this, especially whenever he wasn’t buzzed.
“I-I’m… uh… I’m fine,” you stuttered, freeing him of your body weight and extending a hand to help him up.
“Thank you,” he huffed, a puff of cold air escaping his mouth before circling around your warm bodies, “I told you to watch your step….”
“Hey, it’s not my fault that those stupid coins distracted me,” you shivered, just now feeling the effects of the weather as goosebumps sprouted on your skin, “At least I got the lighter, though!”
Wonbin chuckled, both at your enthusiastic words and the uncanniness of this moment, taking off his beanie and adjusting it over your head before closing the door to Sungchan’s truck, pulling you close to him by the shoulder.
“Alright… let’s get back inside before we both freeze to death.”
AFTER GOING BACK inside, Sungchan had somehow managed to get Roxie out of bed, the four of you sitting on the couch while watching a random movie till midnight.
It all brought you a strange sense of déjà vu. You and Wonbin sitting awkwardly together while Roxie and her Sungchan sat like Siamese twins. The only thing missing, aside from some good home cooked food, was Shotaro’s infectious smile and a recreational drug in your system.
A soul booster.
You had gotten lost in your thoughts again, not even realizing when Roxie kissed Sungchan goodnight before he headed home.
Nor when Wonbin pretended to be sleep so no one would wake him as you slept peacefully on his shoulder.
Nor how he left your side once Roxie went to her room to sleep, reaching for the dust-ridden acoustic guitar hiding in a corner of your loft after a long forgotten ex-roommate left it behind as a “farewell” gift.
Nor the warm and woody melody he started to play from the other end of the couch, the gentle hums from his throat luring your busy mind from its slumber.
Your eyes opened with lazy blinks, vision slowly keening in on the lit joint that hung from his mouth, the sound of his fingers sliding against the fretboard and strings sending shivers down your spine.
Or maybe that had more to do with the winter air thrumming through your dorm room's cheap windows.
From the look outside, you’d guess it was sometime around 1am.
The stars were sparkling in the sky and the world beneath almost dead quiet.
“Oh- sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Wonbin said in a half-whisper, noticing the way you were glancing at him before taking the blunt from his mouth.
“Oh, no… it’s okay, I was just… I didn’t mind…” your words trailed off to a mumble as you sat up a little straighter on the couch, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, “What song was that? It sounded really pretty from what I heard.”
“Yesterday… by the Beatles,” he smiled, getting up to set the guitar back in its original place of abandonment, “it would’ve sounded even better though if I had a pick with me.”
He took another huff from the blunt, exhaling through his nose in a familiar manner as he offered it to you, “Want some?”
“Sure,” you shrugged, taking the blunt from his hand before inhaling the herb yourself, though, it was slightly different from the one you had in Wonbin’s kitchen the other night.
“It’s some of Sungchan’s pot,” he said in a husk voice as if reading your mind, “Don’t go too crazy though, ‘cause his shit’s pretty strong.”
He peeked at you through his wavy bangs, waiting for a cough from you that never came.
“Are you buzzed yet?” You asked after taking another huff or two yourself, playing with the smoke in your mouth before blowing it out slowly.
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “don’t know how I managed to play a full song, but... yeah... I'm trashed.”
“It must be a talent, I guess,” you hummed at his words, just now noticing the lit candles sitting at random areas in the kitchen and living room.
Good thing, because it helped to drown out the scent of marijuana.
“What else are you good at doing while high?”
His tongue clicked at the roof of his mouth as a subtle yet unmistakable smirk creeped on his face, perfectly matching the rosy hue that began to stain his cheeks.
“You thought of something dirty, didn’t you?”
“Maybe…” he chuckled, widening the distance between his legs a bit as he sat.
Was he… teasing you?
Your eyes fell down to the blunt he placed on the ashtray beside the table, it’s lit bud ceasing with a quiet hiss.
“I’m guessing that wasn’t free either, huh?” You joked, shaking your head at yesterday's memory.
“Nope,” he smiled, “but… you still haven’t returned the favor from your first hit, so I won’t be too mean for now.”
Of course he’d bring that up again.
Right here, right now as you sat mere inches in distance from each other, both buzzed out of your minds.
“And if you were to be mean,” you started hesitantly, biting your lower lip before continuing, “what would that look like?”
He thought on your words carefully before answering, “Well, I doubt it’ll ever come to that anyway, so don't worry about it.”
“Oh, and is it the weed making you confident all of a sudden?”
“No, just the simple fact that you’ll pretty much do anything I tell you to.”
You scoffed, “That’s crazy talk.”
“Is it?“ he pressed, inching closer to you. "Kiss me,” he said, lips just a gentle wind's push from touching yours.
You didn’t budge, but your heart beat escalated all the same.
“Cute,” he smirked, his large hand finding the length of your neck, gliding up to your jawline as his thumb toyed with your lower lip. “I can see it all over your face that you want me, ____.”
“Then why are you asking for it?,” you teased.
“Because I wanted to hear you say it first… even though I already knew you’d let me do this,” he whispered, closing the space between you with a kiss, his warm mouth engulfing yours as the scent of his woody cologne filled your senses.
His other hand found your lower back, pulling you impossibly close to him as the sound of both your hearts beating and his needy grunts consumed you.
Much like the watercolor moth on his wrist, Wonbin’s gentle and vibrant masculinity couldn’t get any more precious in this moment.
This is exactly what he was looking forward to, whether he decided to guise it under the façade of a favor or be completely straight up with you, he finally got you right where you wanted.
Your fingers tangled in his hair as you tugged a bit, desperate to hear more of his pretty sounds before the shadow of a smile wavered over Wonbin’s face at your actions, up until he felt your knee bump his hard-on through his pants, causing him to hiss.
“You’re being rough with me,” he said in between kissing your mouth, his hot and thick tongue darting past your lips as the kiss become messier.
Louder.
“And?” You asked, pulling away from his lips before leaving a trail of wetness down his neck, paying extra attention to a spot that made him twitch in his seat.
“And it’s so fucking hot,” he almost moaned when your teeth grazed his skin, his back meeting the couch arm as you subconsciously grinded your hips against his pants, straddling him.
“Is this how you wanted me earlier,” you said, stopping your movements, “when we were outside in the cold?”
By now his shirt was off and your fingers unbuckling his belt with gentle clinking sounds from the metal.
“No,” he said in an impossibly deep voice, looking dead at you as he spoke, “My first mind wanted to fuck you silly in the backseat… but I couldn’t to that to you.”
You giggled at his choice of words given how high you were, shimmying his pants down a bit further before halting at the waistband of his boxers, palming him gently through the fabric.
“Why not?” You asked in a soft voice, contrasting with the fierce grip you had on his clothed shaft.
“Because... even though you’re being an impossible tease right now, I felt like you deserved better than to be fucked in your best friends boyfriend's truck,” he said with a shaky voice, gripping at the couch to contain himself.
You appreciated his consideration in your heart, but didn’t wanna say anything out loud, especially not while your hands were on him like this.
And thank God for these thick curtains, otherwise the whole world would’ve seen how red his throbbing tip looked after finally being freed from the restrictions of his boxers.
You started at the base of his length before gliding upwards, spitting on the head that was already leaking a bit of his early release.
You started to pump him slowly, pearly white precum standing out as it mixed with your clear spit like watercolor.
“Use your mouth for me,” he almost begged, eyes falling victim to a blurry haze as his knuckles turned white with his grip on the cushions.
You teased him a bit by letting your warm breath ghost over his tip, eliciting a groan from him as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.
The desperation inside of him only grew from here as your warm and wet lips finally wrapped around him.
You hollowed your cheeks a bit, hands resting at either side of his hips as you began using your tongue to help you take him inch by inch.
“Mmm, feels so fucking good, baby,” he said with a strained voice, his hands finding your head before his thumbs grazed your lips, one of them prying to squeeze itself into your mouth with his already thick cock.
The sight alone was enough to make him buss, so he threw his head back, biting his lip harshly to contain his sounds.
You hummed against his dick, almost feeling it in your chest once his hands pushed your head down further.
He just couldn’t deal with your teasing anymore, wanting to feel you more than he could begin to explain.
He bucked his hips upwards, rutting into your mouth like a bunny in heat. “Aww, fuck,” he cursed, watching the way your eyes glazed with tears.
He always managed to see you crying one way or another, and he loved it every single time.
Your fingernails dug into his sides as the sound of your gagging became hard to miss. He released your head with a sigh, panting as both of your faces burned with heat.
He didn’t expect you to start pumping him again though as soon as your mouth left his cock, but you knew he’d end up missing your warmth in seconds anyways.
“I wasn’t trying to be mean when I did that, by the way,” he sighed, biting his lip as you looked back at him with moist eyelashes, “I just couldn’t hold bac- nghhh~.”
A broken moan escaped his mouth once your hands found his balls, gently cradling them in your hands while alternating with pressures, your other hand still stroking him.
“I’m doing quite the favor for you, Wonbin,” you said with a rasp voice, your throat a bit sore from his actions on top of the smoke you huffed earlier, but he figured it made you sound hotter anyway. “Are you sure I’m not overdoing it?”
“Mmm… no, p-please don’t stop, baby,” he whimpered shamelessly, screwing his eyebrows tightly.
You felt yourself clench around nothing at the nickname, and judging from the way his face changed, you’d bet he noticed.
By now, he could hardly keep still, the muscles in his stomach flexing just as you felt his balls tighten, just as he was finished, chest heaving with need as you rode out his high.
That's when you started to take off your jeans, tossing them in the corner somewhere as he practically drooled at the sight of you in just a baggy top and panties, a dark spot forming at the center of your core where your arousal started to leak through.
“____,” he paused you, bringing you into his lap, your warm core sitting right atop his aching hardness, “you don’t have to go this far if you don’t want to.”
“Well maybe this isn’t just about me owing you anymore,” you whispered, kissing him on the corner of his mouth, “what if I want this?”
His cock stimulated you through your panties as he thought on your words, subconsciously rocking your hips back and forth.
“Then I’ll let you have your way with me…” he said with a rasp whisper, kissing up your neck as one of his hands massaged your tits, his other hand sneaking past your underwear to find your soaking wet clit, rubbing it slowly but with such a pressure that your fingers clung to his broad shoulders.
“I want you to make me feel like I’m falling apart,” he groaned against your skin, spreading your slick all over your aching pussy lips, “I want you to ruin me.”
You didn't waste any time with aligning him at your entrance, sliding down with ease most of the way given how wet you were.
He groaned as your tight walls fully consumed him.
“Fuck~,” you whined, feeling euphorically full as he started thrusting into you, hands gripping at your back as he became overstimulated inside you.
The drugs must've made you feel extra sensitive, especially with the way his tip fucked against your g-spot. You looked into his teary eyes, stoking his face as you helped to bounce with his movements, lewd sounds bouncing off of the walls.
“You’re being so fucking good for me, baby, just like that," he moaned as you clenched around him, too high to give a damn about filling you up raw with thick spurts of his cum.
“Wonie,” you whimpered, feeling as his hands roamed all over your climaxing body.
You felt every part of him in every part of you, and to say the least, it was worth all the awkward moments it took to get here.
THE NEXT MORNING, you woke up with your head resting on Wonbin’s chest, his messy hair spread about his head as you felt his breath faintly on your head. You probably looked like two babies with the way you were cuddling each other under the blanket.
It was a sickeningly cute sight, one might say.
“Sick and twisted,” you heard Shotaro say in the back of your mind, just as Wonbin groaned beneath you with a cat-like yawn.
“I still feel high,” was the first thing he said, making you giggle a little more than necessary before looking him in the face, the effects of your night together ever-present on his face.
“I feel…good,” you smiled.
“Good?”
“Yeah,” you hummed back, peeling yourself from his body as you blinked the tiredness from your eyes.
“You can keep a secret, right?” He asked hesitantly, voice barely audible given how quietly he spoke.
“With my whole life,” you answered, now making eye contact with him which was surprisingly way easier to do than a day ago.
He found your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “We should do each other favors more often… but… maybe not call it that.”
Was he initiating a sexual relationship with you?
Maybe something more?
“Well…” you started curiously, “what would you wanna call it instead, then?”
A grin peeped on his face that quickly softened when he licked his lips, giving your hand a squeeze once again before parting his lips to speak. “Maybe-”
“Fuck,” Roxanne sighed with annoyance, “you horny ducks didn’t blow my candles out last night… now the wax is no good,” she sulked.
“Oh, s-sorry about that, Roxie, we were smoking and it helped the smell,” Wonbin answered first.
“… wait, did you just call us horny ducks?” You asked with a mix of confusion, offense, and realization.
She heard you two.
Hell, of course she did.
“What? You think I didn’t hear Wonbin and his vocal ass practically singing as you did… whatever you did to him…?,” She rambled on, washing her hands in the sink before pulling some from produce from the fridge.
“Oh my God,” Wonbin cringed at himself, covering his face with his hands, though his ears were clearly burning red now.
“The blanket… you brought it in here, didn’t you,” you asked her, just now noticing that it was one she kept at the end of her bed.
“Yep! You’re welcome, freaks,” she chirped through a mouthful of raw celery, drawing your attention to the knife and cutting board she handled, “I’m gonna need your help soon though, ____. We're cooking for a mini get-together later with Taro and Sungchan.”
You hummed at her words, folding up the blanket while thankful that despite how high you two were last night, you managed to put your clothes back on before the sun came up.
“You guys should get cleaned up first, too, by the way,” she said, side-eyeing you as she diced a few green onions. “And preferably not at the same time, please... I’ve heard enough moans for the rest of this week, thanks to you two.”
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⚡︎ a/n: I just wanna say thank you to everyone who read this goofy lil piece I wrote !! It's been a while since I wrote something that wasn't requesting, and I had so much fun getting back in my creative mode again !! Hopefully you guys enjoyed it as much as I did huhu !!
📍 check out my NEW RIIZE masterlist
⚡︎ tag list: @ashgonedash @jaylaxies @fakeuwus @ot7sevenlvr @nqvgue @riizebinnie @cherriruto @sungbbinieworld @kvstjwonnie @yjshannie @hyunjinsnumberonefun @nikisdubblchococake @babigriin @greasywall @snrrpyzen @squoxle @wonbinkisser @quirkymoon @bominute @serenityqtz @bahraini-aphrodite @jewjewbee04 @minslatte @svtf1lms @suquitoz @hyunilinia @yeonkis @pixiewoni @loljungwon @sunwonkiworld @iizanaa @bambseung @deadpool15 @s1eepyanahi @wearscvn @spkyfy @urfavmommy @anna-357j @numberonetaleprince @write4cench @choqolei @zhonglele02 @xenkimmie @whoslio @leeknow-minho2 @songbird033
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meggtheegg · 7 months
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FNAF Movie Theory...
I'm pretty sure there's still one major plot twist in the universe of the movie that's been set up for a sequel but hasn't actually happened yet. Heavy spoilers under the cut:
After watching the movie in theaters and then revisiting a few scenes on Peacock, I'm still kind of convinced that Mike Schmidt is Michael Afton.
Here's my reasoning. A lot of the characters spend time acting like they know something the audience/other characters don't, and those things are...mostly resolved. But some of them just...kind of aren't.
The main thing that sticks out to me is William's whole storyline. Starting with the scene where he offers Mike the job, his behavior is almost explained by the movie's logic. He sees Mike's name, seems...kind of deeply upset, looks at him very closely, stands to get coffee, and has a moment of visible internal conflict. Then he instantly offers him the Freddy's job. The way the movie frames this, it seems to be saying that he recognized the name of one of his victims, realized this was the kid's brother, and decided to kill him right then and there. Which is passable as an explanation, but it has a lot of holes, if you look deeper.
Why would William so instantly recognize a fairly common last name as the brother of some kid he killed that wasn't even anywhere near Freddy's? Why did he kidnap/kill Garrett in the first place, in some random forest in Nebraska? Why did he see the name on the file, then immediately stop and examine Mike's face so closely, when Mike's memories/dreams pretty clearly show that they never saw each others' faces when Garrett was taken? Why did he send Vanessa to "keep Mike in the dark" if he purposely gave him the job to get him killed? Why not have the animatronics kill him right away? He didn't know that Mike was searching for the man who took his brother, and while he could have maybe guessed he was still actively haunted by what happened based on Mike beating up a guy that he thought was kidnapping someone, it still feels like a weird choice to go and hire him, then just have him do the job with no issue for a few days.
As for Vanessa, we see that she's been cleaning up William's messes for years. Why is Mike the one she changes her mind and stands up to her father for? There's no implied romance between the two and no particularly meaningful connection beyond them both having family issues. I guess she cares about Abby because she's a kid, but kids getting hurt clearly never stopped her from helping her father before.
And, on a more meta level, this is Scott and his storytelling style we're talking about. The man puts plot twists inside of plot twists and everything always ties back into the Aftons, somehow.
So, here's my theory: I think that Mike is William's kid, but Mike's mom left Afton when he was young and remarried the man that Mike thinks is his father.
It seems convoluted and maybe cliche, but if it's true, then suddenly there's an answer to all of those questions. "Michael Schmidt" isn't exactly an eye-catching name, unless you had a kid named Michael and your ex-wife married a guy with the last name Schmidt. Garrett's kidnapping, then, becomes an act of intentional, petty revenge rather than an extremely random coincidence. Giving Mike the job and sending in Vanessa suddenly becomes about piecing together how much he knows and figuring out if he's worth trying to reconnect with or is just a threat that needs to be killed. (It feels worth noting that William is as far as I can remember the only person to call him Michael in the whole film. He also very pointedly never says "Schmidt" until he's decided to kill Mike and suddenly announces his full name out loud. If he went by Michael as a little kid, that is what William would default to calling him, but if he took the new husband's last name, that would be like like salt in the wound that he wouldn't want to voice. By finally saying it out loud, it feels like he's making the decision to fully separate himself from Mike.)
As for Vanessa, if Mike is her brother, it makes sense that he would be the person she'd turn against William to save. It would be weird for her not to tell him, but she could also be trying to protect him, in some way. There's never any mention of her mother, and it seems like it's just been her and William for a long time. Also, ending the movie with her in a coma feels like a strange narrative choice, but it makes sense if she knows information that's purposely being kept hidden for the sequel.
Of course, it could just be that the movie has kind of messy writing and I'm trying to fix it because I want there to be a deeper reason for it. Maybe there is no Michael Afton in the movies, or maybe he's off chilling and doing his own thing somewhere and we'll see him in the sequel. Only time will tell.
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oncomingnight · 4 months
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Yandere! boyfriend x fem reader
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Malik is the sweetest guy you've ever come across and his charisma doesn't even come at a cost. You've never met anyone, no matter the gender, that was as attentive and humorous as him. Malik could care less if he's making himself look like a fool as long as he's graced with the presence of your heartwarming smile. His humor consists of material you'd only ever expect to hear out of the mouth of a teenage boy which is what makes his jokes so much funnier.
He doesn't need an international holiday in order to spoil you with stuffed animals, sweets and handwritten letters, he already gifts you all those things for the simple fact that he wants to. Malik is always showing up to your shared apartment with a bouquet of flowers in hand as he feels like the worst man to ever walk the Earth if he does otherwise.
Letting you pay for yourself is something he'll never allow you to do, as long as he's with you of course. He can't exactly stop you from doing so if he's not physically next to you (rare occurrence)but he has his own way of handling that issue. He'll notice if you seemed to have purchased something with your own money while he wasn't around, and immediately reach into his pocket in an effort to pay you back.
"You look so pretty, baby. Is that a new lipgloss?" "Yeah it is, I bought it when we were at the market the other day!" "Oh yeah? How much was it, baby? I'll give you your money back, just let me know if you want something next time, okay? I don't care if I look like I'm busy with something else, I have all the time in the world when it comes to you."
While we're on the topic of time I think this is the perfect moment to mention the fact that Malik is extremely possessive over not only you but also your time. Nothing gets him more upset than when the two of you are out together at a public setting and your friends attempt at pulling all of your attention away from him. In reality, your friends are simply making conversation with you and they actually make several attempts at including him in the conversation. This, however, doesn't matter to Malik one bit, he can see right through their 'good people' personas.
Malik practically battles with other people when it comes to having your full attention on him. It's not even a case where you're not appreciating how greatly he treats you, no. He is the one who is urging himself to be the absolute best for you before someone attempts at lifting you off of your feet and away from him. He finds it incredibly comedic when others attempt at acting as if they could ever understand or know you as well as he does. There have been many instances where he's gotten you the perfect gift and he just can't help but look on at the other party attendees with pity, as they all now know that you won't be as satisfied with their presents.
Is Malik a possessive boyfriend (soon to be husband)? Yes. Although, this doesn't mean he won't allow you to have girl trips/sleepovers. If you're having a girls trip in an area with a completely different time zone, this will not prevent Malik from staying up as late and early as he needs in order to call and wish you a good morning.
He will keep you on the phone for extremely extended amounts of time (not that you mind). Your friends could try their absolute hardest at being irritated towards his constant need to be near you and to call you but they just can't. Malik is so sickeningly sweet to you that they'd be seen as bitter people that are just jealous due to the fact they've never been as loved and cared for as you are now.
Malik didn't exactly grow up in the most accepting house hold, even as a child, he felt as though he was constantly walking on eggshells with his parents. His parents were raised with extremely aggressive religious views that would quite obviously intimidate the average person, this caused him to be raised in an environment where even cartoons most people deemed as 'kid friendly' were forbidden. Anything that wasn't blatantly religious was seen as unholy, his parents wanted him to uphold the stereotypical attitude of toxic manhood that even him doing simple acts of skincare were seen as something to 'look out for'.
This extremely damaged environment he was raised in just may be the reason as to why he doesn't speak to his family anymore and why he loves so ferociously, like a rabid animal. I don't know though, it's not like I make the rules or anything.
He absolutely adores doing anything and everything romantic with you, especially within the comfort of your own home. When the holidays roll around, there's nothing he loves more than brewing up two cups of iced coffee, sporting matching onesies, baking Christmas cookies and lighting up the fire place as the moon shines into your shared bedroom window.
Well, there is one thing he loves more than all of that.
That's you.
Edit: credit to @cafekitsune for the divider ♡
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screeching-bunny · 1 year
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Yandere! Priests Hcs
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Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’
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🌟 Yandere! Priest is a very devoted lover. He makes sure that all your needs are whether they be external or internal things. Cares more about your life then his own and is willing to sacrifice anything for you. He makes sure to follow any request that you have for him and is even willing to act as your pet if you ever wanted him to.
🌟 Yandere! Priest gave up his religion in order to worship you. You are the reason for living without you, he would be nothing. Everyday he wakes up is for you. You are his sunshine, his beacon of light, and his God. It would be wrong for him not to devote every second of his life to you. Why would he not? You definitely deserve all of it.
🌟 Yandere! Priest is very easy to manipulate due to his willingness to follow your every command. That however, does not make him any less dangerous though. He has many connections and is friends with almost every powerful person in the world. If he ever needed to he would ask them for help in getting rid of certain matters.
🌟 Yandere! Priest is a bit of a germaphobe and would constantly come over to your room to clean it. Washes all your clothes for you and basically does all the household chores. With him by your side, you can basically rot in bed all day.
🌟 Yandere! Priest would probably make up a religion based on you and would try to get others to join. He has a very mild temperament and is almost always kind to others. However, that doesn’t mean you can go and disrespect him whenever you want. He hates getting his hands and would manipulate anyone so that he can get his way.
🌟 Yandere! Priest is an S tier manipulator. Anything you do or say can be twisted to this man's will. He’s insanely smart and could haggle his way into getting anything for free. Many people look up to him and don’t understand that he’s just using them. To them he’s an angel who would never want to hurt anyone.
🌟 Yandere! Priest secretly puts a tracker on you so that he can track your every move. He is very particular on who gets to associate with you. He won’t even let anyone 20 feet near you if he doesn’t approve of him. Those people don’t even deserve to be in your presence, they're all just lesser beings that might try to corrupt or harm you.
🌟 Yandere! Priest cares a lot about your opinions on him. He’ll sometimes get self conscious and will wonder if he’s pleasing you enough. If you even dare to say that you're unsatisfied with him, he’ll act as if he created the greatest sin in the universe.
🌟 Yandere! Priest most likely met when he’s severely injured and you helped save him. Due to that, he’s been by your side ever since. He was in dire need of assistance and you were brought down from heaven just for him. How could he ever repay you for this? By attending to your needs, after all he was created to serve you.
🌟 Yandere! Priest has an altar of you, where he just prays to it everyday. At night, his thoughts are full of you and when he wakes up, they are still full of you. Nothing is going to change that. His love for you is so immense, that you’ll feel suffocated by it daily. It’s honestly so scary sometimes, no one should be this obsessed with a person.
🌟 Yandere! Priest could never bring himself to yell at you if you ever did something wrong. If anything, he’d gaslight someone else into thinking that they were the ones at fault. “My love did not break that plate, it was just too slippery for someone to hold properly. You should have designed it better, this better not happen again.”
🌟 Yandere! Priest would never harm you if you tried running away from him. Instead he would just give you a disappointed look and then lock you up in a lavish room for a few days. Seeing the look of pain on your face also causes him pain. So he’ll try his best to never cause you any physical harm.
🌟 Yandere! Priest would make running away extremely difficult. He would make sure that guards would always be guarding your room and if you were ever in public eyes would be constantly on you. The vast number of people watching you would deter you from the idea of escaping.
🌟 Yandere! Priest is amazing at painting. When he’s not busy, he spends all of his free time sketching you. You're his favorite thing to draw and are basically his muse. Has multiple sketch books filled to the brim with pictures of you. Will sometimes even run up to you with one of his paintings and wait for you to compliment them.
🌟 Yandere! Priest is willing to be a pawn in any scheme you try to play. He doesn't care if you're just using him, as long as it’s only him. Can sometimes be a little delusional when it comes to you. You’re staying with him because you love him, totally not because he’s forcing his love upon you.
🌟 Yandere! Priest gets so offended if someone dares to even insult you. That is considered blasphemy to him and there’s no way he’s letting that individual get away with that. Whether they are a woman or child, they’re not getting away with it and will be severely punished.
🌟 Yandere! Priest sings praises to you on a daily basis. You can’t go one second without him complimenting you on something. He brags about you to other people so often that they start to get tired of your name. Will go on for hours if he really wanted to. There’s just nothing about you that he doesn’t admire. You’re just so awesome.
🌟 Yandere! Priest dislikes being away from you. Every second away from you is like hell. He honestly can’t stand it. Can be very needy at times and beg for you attention if he has to.
🌟 Yandere! Priest overall is not the worst yandere to have. There definitely are people who are more vicious and willing to take away every freedom you have. Just make sure not to run away from him and you’ll be living a smooth sailing life.
Pt.2
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bamsara · 5 months
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Howdy! I just want to take a moment (or two…or three..yeah this is longer than I thought it would be) to talk about your characterization of Narinder in your TRoD fanfic, specifically his grievance over what he perceived the lamb to be and betrayel.
I like to think Narinder repeatedly calling Lambert a traitor (I think at least once a chapter actually lmaoo) over and over, is trying not so subtly to avoid thinking about the why behind the betrayel and the pain that comes with it. Especially since he'd already spent an eternity wondering about the previous betrayal of his siblings. How emotionally torturous it must feel to be in this cycle of rejection, from the people he depended on, even now from his own followers who don't recognize him. And then, when he and Lambert finally appear to be on the same page about something, Lambert goes and spares Leshy, reminding Narinder once again that his divine commands hold as much weight on the Lamb as they will decide to hold.
It isn't up to Narinder to decide how the lamb will act, as much as he wants to. It's one thing for Narinder to have people listening to him, but it's another to actually be heard, and after an eternity of silence during his imprisonment he's absolutely desperate for some form of control and impact. For someone to truly hear him. Which is a shame, because Lambert does, but Narinder cannot recognize it since they don't always give Narinder what he wants (since being a God is all about what you want), and instead are more interested in giving him what he needs.
I assume at this point, after being revived into a mortal form, he's actively given up on trying to understand why everyone just keeps "betraying/rejecting him" and would rather use his own inferences of their behavior as explanation, once again, for that feeling of control, since he's utterly mortified of hearing those words come from their mouths instead of his own (doesn't help that he can actually read minds either). He'd rather kill his siblings than hear the why (not saying the siblings were justified ofc, but understanding one's motivations is, y'know, important to effectively communicating with them in a way that's healthy) Despite needing to be heard, he's internalized that many won't bother listening unless he has control over them in some way, like he did before when he was powerful. When he mutilated his siblings, had Lambert create a cult in his name, being heard isn't just an emotional or mental aspect to his wellbeing, but is literally part of his power as well.
He was/is a God, he's used to followers prostrating themselves just to hear the time of day, giving their all to listen, hear, and follow him. It's why he struggles to separate the aspects that are ingrained in a follower, from those who are a friend. Unless they're also God he can't comprehend much of a difference, and expects them to be of the same or similar standing. He was friends with Lambert when he was Godly, yes, but he still saw himself as above Lambert, and expected them to lay down their life to him like a follower would. Yes, Narinder didn't want to cut them out of his own life in their death, but still expected them to just..die for him. He didn't ***just*** see Lambert as a friend, he saw them as a friend that was also his follower. An exceptional follower he loved, but not an exception. There was a power imbalance that Lambert now sees.
It's why Narinder's utterly baffled and offended, fearful even, at Lambert, someone he deemed as "traitorous", investing their time into still trying to talk to him..listen to him.. for virtually no gain…at his lowest point...when he himself is now "lesser".
Narinder tries so hard to not become invested in those he deems as "lesser" or "traitors" but its near fucking impossible, because like it or not, his desires and needs are so inherently mortal and genuine (desire for power, companionship, love, understanding, control, etc) that if he doesn't close himself off, he may have to face falling into the same pit of disappointment and failed expectations he fell in with Lambert/his siblings once again. So he doesn't, and hides away in his shack until Lambert comes knocking.
And now, as the cherry on top of this emotionally constipated bundle of angsty cat woes, he has to live and breathe as the very thing he deemed as "lesser". Being forced to invest in these mortal needs, now that they're a necessary component to his survival. This is also why I believe he goes on these little crusades with Lambert in the first place as well. Not only because they return to him a sense of routine and normalcy (also pining, coughocoughghhrbogh who said that?), but also because it allows Narinder to forget about investing in his own wellbeing for a while.
He was a God, he didn't have to go through the work it took to just do your laundry, eat, brush your teeth, or take care of yourself since he never had to. The thrill of adventure and battle, the adrenaline rush of near-death experiences, can't hold a candle to the mundanity of work. So when he's not crusading, he just..sleeps..wanders around..the fact he's not socially accepted by his own followers doesn't encourage him either. I mean fuck, he such a complete wreck after Lambert spared Leshy, he crusaded and neglected his health for so long he passed out.
His life is all work now, investing in himself, in others, being forced to have his ego get knocked down a few pegs, and care again despite how much it hurts. None of these things are "given", Lambert's love is not just given (as in, blindly follow) and that's what I believe will be an eventual "eureka" moment for him.
Living is work, but it's worth working for
He ain't hot shit anymore, but that's ok.
Anyway, sorry for the long-winded ramble this was all actually just a very roundabout and ineffective ploy for me to talk about how I relate the song "Don't Speak" by No Doubt, to your Narinder's character. Happy belated New Year, hope you're doing well. :]
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LKSDHGKLSDHGD HELLO. This is such a well articulated analyzation of Narinder holy moly, I hope you don't mind me answering this with not much to add on because WOW I'm really vibing with your takes on him and I wanted the world to read this too slkdghlksdhgs. I have a lot of my own takes on Narinder and how he'll progress to be as the story comes along, and eventaully some of this will be talked about in TROD either with the lamb and/or with other characters, particularly Ratau, as he comes to an understanding that others are understanding.
I have not had coffee yet this morning but I could go on for a day and a half about Narinder being used to getting what he wants as a god and the entire process of how actaully lonley and isolating it can be to be continously pedastaled and worshipped verses being on equal, human level with other beings and how long it takes for him to realize that.
HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR
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lovries · 2 years
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A LOVE EPIPHANY
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featuring. the demon brothers (lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor).
summary. they're so confused— you're sudden avoiding them/acting super shy! well, they don't seem to realize it's because you figured out you've got a crush on them!
warning. gn! reader, not proofread, levi on the verge of an anxiety attack, physical affection (asmodeus).
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꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── LUCIFER
"Lucifer? You called for me?" You couldn't meet his gaze, stepping into his room apprehensively. Your stomach was already churning, your heart doing flips. It was plain and simple, you had a crush on Lucifer. Of course, after figuring this out, you couldn't help but grow shy around him, trying to avoid him when you can. And he noticed.
"I did, come in." Closing the door behind you, you make your way to the front of him, shifting your weight from foot to foot. "You're not in trouble, no need to be so nervous." He teased, however you only tensed further. He had no idea at all, it seemed, that you were nervous for a completely different reason.
"Uhm, what did you need then?" Lucifer sighs when you don't look at him. Seriously, what had gotten into you? Were you mad at him? Had he done something you didn't like? He just couldn't figure it out!
"Well, I suppose there's no need to beat around the bush," He says, clearing his throat, his fingers clasping together, "Have I done something to upset you, Y/n? I've noticed... well, your behavior has been quite strange as of late. if I can fix whatever it was, please let me know. Everyone would like your time here in the Devildom to be as comfortable as possible."
Internal screaming. You're internally screaming. He noticed that you've been acting shy as of late, and he thinks it's because you're mad at him!? You groan, hiding your burning face in your hands.
"Uhm, I- I'm not mad at you, so don't worry..." Lucifer furrows his brows. If you're not mad at him then why...
Oh.
Lucifer couldn't help the small smirk that tugged on the corner of his lips. "I see," He clears his throat, hoping to cover up the chuckle that wants to escape. "Very well, you may leave now." Before you fully leave though, Lucifer makes on last comment. "Ah, and Y/n... Please do wear formalwear this Saturday."
"W... What for?"
"I'll be making a reservation at Ristorante Six." He finished with a wink, grinning at the way you seemed to short-circuit.
꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── MAMMON
You've been locking your door, going to bed early, taking a different route home, avoiding where he works. At first Mammon tried to brush it off as just a coincidence or that you were just in a crappy mood, but then he realized... He's the only one you're avoiding! And damn it, but you're so good at avoiding him, no matter how hard he tries to talk to you, you manage to slip away each time.
"Oi! Y/n!" Mammon grinned at finally catching you in the hallways of RAD. He was accompanied with Asmo, who couldn't help but watch in amusement as your eyes nearly popped out of your head before you took off. "Wha- Hey! Get back 'ere you- Ugh..." You were too far gone, and Mammon was too sad to chase you.
"My, my, dear older brother, it seems someone is shy around you," Asmo giggled, only for Mammon to sigh and slump forward.
"Yeah, I just don't know whyyy." He drags out the sentence with a whine, "I didn't even do anythin' this time- uh, I don't think so anyways?" He glances over at Asmo he's stifling a giggle. Seriously, Asmo knew his brother was dense, but this badly? Jeez, Asmo guesses he'll help him out just this once.
"Listen closely, okay?" Mammon nods, leaning in, a serious and concentrated look on his face. "Y/n," Mammon nods again, listening intently, "Likes you."
Mammon can only stare at Asmodeus as he tries to process this new information, before he's obnoxiously gasping and flailing around. "A- Are ya serious? Ya better not be lyin' to me, ya understand? I- I gotta go!" Mammon nearly trips over himself, taking off in the direction that you went. Asmo rolls his eyes, but he's happy for his brother.
Meanwhile, you think you've finally found a safe spot from Mammon. It's not that you want to avoid him, but you can't stand the sick feeling in your stomach when you get around him, or how your brain can't think straight, or how sweaty your hands get! You just want it to go back to how it was, when you were oblivious to your feelings.
You jump when the door slams open, and you look over to see a very out of breath Mammon. "I," he heaves, "I finally found ya." Seems like there is no where to run this time.
꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── LEVIATHAN
Whilst you tried not to avoid Leviathan, mostly because you knew he'd have a panic attack and would begin degrading himself senseless, you knew your attitude around him shifted. Instead of being your usual self, you've grown incredibly shy and self conscious, and all because you had to realize your feelings.
Like now, it's incredibly awkward as you two sit in silence. You were doing well at hiding your shyness when Leviathan had to reach over you to grab a snack— suddenly you had cringed away from him. Levi faltered, and tried not to immediately blame himself. Maybe you were so immersed in the show? But it wasn't long until he was blaming himself.
"I- I'm sorry," Leviathan finally whimpers out, "I understand if you don't wanna be here with me anymore— it must suck being stuck with a y- yucky otaku like me, huh?" He's mumbling out other self-deprecating words, and you can't stand to hear them.
"Levi," you timidly call out, fiddling with your fingers, glancing over at him. When he doesn't respond, you call his name out a little louder. He doesn't respond again, instead he's stopping the movie and pacing the floor, lost in his thoughts.
"Y- You've actually been really weird lately too, like distant and quiet, i- is it because you're finally sick of me? I'm sorry, you d- deserve better, you don't have to pretend to be my friend anymore, I- I-"
"Leviathan!" You finally manage to gather the courage to yell his name, and he comes to a still, looking at you in shock. If he wasn't so surprised at you yelling at him, he's sure there'd be tears in his eyes. With shaky hands he wrings his own wrists.
"Y... Yeah?"
"Listen, I..." A lump forms in your throat, but you try to ignore it. "I don't hate you or anything, I want to keep being your friend, I promise." He seems to relax a little, although still anxious. "I didn't mean to flinch, you just... surprised me? I can't really tell you but... Just trust me, I- I don't hate you."
It's quiet for a few minutes, before he's sitting in his spot next to you again. "Okay... I don't know... I don't know what's going on with you but... I'll trust you." He gives you a soft, nervous smile, and if you had been weaker, you're sure you would've passed out at how cute he was.
꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── SATAN
It was cute... At first. Satan wasn't entirely sure why you had grown shy around him, but he did enjoy teasing you and seeing you grow more flustered than usual. It was nice, until he realized you could barely form a sentence around him. He missed having intellectual conversations, deep conversations that could range into the early hours of the morning. Now he's more annoyed at your reservedness.
Satan watches as you fumble over your words, barely getting a sentence out. You startle when he clears his throat, glancing over at him. Despite figuring out you had a massive crush on Satan, you tried your hardest to still hold conversations with him... but it was just so hard! You kept getting distracted by his stupidly attractive face, or you'd slip into daydreams of more romantic interactions with him (which you'd then get embarrassed about because he's literally right there).
"I've been thinking," Satan begins, "You've been shy lately. Is it possibly because there's something you want to tell me?" He guesses he's right when he notices the way your shoulders tense. "You know, you can tell me whatever it is, I won't judge you." Of course you knew he wouldn't judge you, still... it was hard to confess you liked him— You barely even began to grasp it yourself!
"It's nothing, r- really..." You're playing with the hem of your shirt, your face growing warm. You imagine what it'd be like to confess to him right now, would he accept your feelings? If he did, he'd surely whisk you off your feet! Ah, just the thought if making your heart flutter! You giggle to yourself, lost in thought, when Satan clears his throat and you jump out of your daydream.
"I promise!" You say, almost a little too defensively. "It's... It's really nothing," The room only seems to get warmer as he leans in further, his face only a mere few inches from yours. He's inspecting you, trying to see if you're lying. And if he deems it so or not, he doesn't tell you. He pulls back and sighs.
"I'll trust you for now..." You let out a silent breath of relief. You'll have to either start hiding your crush better, or plan on confessing soon.
꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── ASMODEUS
This was hard. Having a crush on Asmodeus is hard. Prior to you realizing your crush on him, you never minded his extra affection— the way he'd hug you when he saw you, or the way he'd casually hold your hand whilst walking, or the way he'd lean in real close and put an arm around your shoulder, or the way he'd pull you in to dance with him— all of his usual actions, they all began to fluster you more and more.
"A- Asmo!" You squeak as he wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzle into your back. He giggles, only tightening his hold around you.
"You're not getting away from me this time!" He coos teasingly. Asmodeus has most definitely taken notice to the way you've been pulling away from his touch, but that only made him double down on his actions. "You're starting to hurt my feelings, you know?" He pouts, loosening his grip so you can turn around. Staring down at his little pout only worsens the condition of your rapidly beating heart.
"Asmodeus," You sigh, putting your hands on his arms and gently prying him away. "It's just... This kind of affection... i- it's usually reserved for... lovers," you whisper the last part, ignoring your warm cheeks. "It's embarrassing."
This only furthers his pout, and he backs away from you with crossed arms. "Hmph, you didn't find it embarrassing before! What changed, hm?"
Geez, he really had no clue...
You thought his vanity would make him guess it in seconds, but it seems not. You look the other way, unable to meet his inquisitive eyes. "Let's just drop it..." You mumble. His gaze was so intense, you were beginning to feel almost naked under his eyes.
Asmo lets out a loud, obnoxious sigh, "Fine. But we will be circling back to it later!" He takes your hand and giggles at your shock. "Geez, you're acting like you have a crush on me or something," Your stomach drops, although it doesn't take you long to realize he was joking... "C'mon, I just got some new nail polish in the mail, I wanna test them out~"
꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── BEELZEBUB
It honestly took Beelzebub a long time to figure out you were acting different. It wasn't until he saw the look on your face when he had offered you some of his snack that he realized something was off about you.
"Hmm... Have you noticing something different about them?" Beel asked, looking over at Belphegor (who had been napping peacefully until he was interrupted). Belphie groaned, forcing himself to sit up and look over at you. You were a bit further away, working on a project with Mammon.
"Uh... No? They seem like their usual annoying self. Why?" Belphie slumps against Beel, and Beel sighs in frustration as he shoves some chips in his mouth.
"It just seems like... they're avoiding me... maybe... or something, ugh, I don't know." Belphie frowned. Whatever it was, it was really irritating Beel, which mean it was now annoying Belphie.
"If it's bothering you that much, then just ask'em." Beel scratches his head, his frown only growing.
"That's the thing! Whenever I try to talk to them, they get all quiet and kinda jittery." It then dawns on Belphie what exactly is happening. Ah, you've finally realized your giant crush on Beel, have you? Belphie snickers, causing Beel to furrow his brows. What was he laughing at? "Do you know what's happening?"
"I have an idea." Belphie yawns, stretching out before slumping back down. "Let me know when ya figure it out, okay?" Beel wants to ask what he means, but Belphie is already fast asleep. Seems like Beel won't figure it out anytime soon.
꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── BELPHEGOR
Belphegor is beyond annoyed— his favorite pillow is gone! Whatever's made you so shy and squirmy is really beginning to irk him. He's just trying to sleep but you keep wiggling about and kicking up a fuss. He groans, and a part of him wants to sink his nails into your thigh and keep you still... but he refrains.
"Why are you being more bothersome than usual?" Belphie finally grumbles out, rolling over to look up at you. "Well? Spit it out, so I can put a stop to it and you can go back to doing what you do best; being my pillow."
If only he knew that he was the problem. He'd probably tell you to stop being dumb and throw a pillow at your face. You sigh, anxiously playing with his hair. He purrs at the touch, his eyelids dropping, he almost fell asleep, almost- until you were squirming around again!
"Alright," He forces himself to sit up, glaring at you. "Tell me. Now." What a brat. You question why you like him, only to be reminded that you do, and grow shy.
"It's nothing..." You mumble under your breath, but clearly Belphie isn't going to be satisfied with just that.
"Nothing? Nothing is making me lose precious hours of sleep?" You open your mouth to speak, only to close it. He blinks once, then twice, before shaking his head. "You... You're... Look, I won't tease you, so just tell me."
You debate it, you really do, but you just can't seem to find the courage to actually get the words out. Wringing your wrists, you try to force the lump in your throat to go away. "I'll try to be still..."
Not the answer he wanted, but he can see how reluctant you are to share, and (begrudgingly) decides not to push it (because then you might leave him)!
"Fine, whatever..." He'll be bringing it up later though; He'll figure out the reason for your sudden shyness whether you like it or not!
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﹙ thank you for reading! have a wonderful day! ﹚
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literaila · 3 months
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how do u think satoru would react to reader in a depressive episode, especially what do u think the kids would do
obviously, they’ve all noticed.
the past couple of weeks have not been lived through ignorantly. and you have not been acting normal.
the differences are just that, at first. tiny inconsistencies in your otherwise normal personality, your routine.
and then it becomes more than just a… change.
it starts off simple; megumi’s brows furrowing when you ask him a question—something about his teacher, or what kind of drink he wants in his lunch that day—and then forget what you’ve just said as soon as he answers.
tsumiki watching, smiling along idly, as you rub your temples, sighing with every other sentence and squeezing your eyes tight like you’ll be able to wake up if you try hard enough.
and satoru noticing when you linger in your room a bit longer, as the days pass. staring when you freeze looking at the wall in the morning, zoning out so hard that he has to shake you back to life.
just an accumulation of things that might indicate that something is up.
but as these moments—moments when you’re lost in your head, trying to conceal your entire being from all of them, and pretending that it’s all normal—increase, the three of them learn a little something about observing.
and lying to themselves, of course.
eventually, though, when megumi or tsumiki inevitably say something—usually when you’re not in the room, off hiding somewhere—satoru just shrugs.
(he’s going to lie his way through this, just like everything else, thank you).
“it’s a bad day,” he’ll say, like the two children will comprehend that. like they don’t know what a bad day means. “she’s just tired.”
he could make a million excuses for you. oh, you didn’t get enough sleep last night. oh, you’ve only had one cup of coffee today. oh, the world is a truly terrible place and it’s only natural that it runs you down.
but he leaves them with the simplest of explanations, instead. maybe it’s his subtle way of denying that there’s anything wrong. that you could be upset about something. it doesn’t matter, anyway.
and tsumiki, ever so trusting of all of you, listens to him. if satoru says that you’re okay, then so does she. she’ll draw you a picture at school or try to help you make their lunches in the morning, but you’re fine. her questions end with an answer.
megumi, on the other hand, has never believed a word that satoru has said.
so when the older man swears that you’re okay, that they don’t need to worry, megumi only begins to worry harder.
he sees that look on your face when you walk in the room, and megumi knows. maybe it’s because he’s the most attuned to you, out of everyone, in particular. maybe it’s because he’s observant, or too worrisome for his age (as you tell him).
but he knows.
and if satoru says one thing, megumi’s going to believe the other.
(plus the two of you have always had a symbiotic relationship. you worry about him, and he worries about you. you laugh at him, and he gives a little lip twitch in return).
so satoru is not surprised when megumi brings it up for the fourth time in a week.
“you want me to what, exactly?”
“you can talk to them, can’t you?” he repeats, giving satoru a bland look. something like ‘are you serious.’ “they know you.”
satoru snorts. “i don’t think my bosses will appreciate me telling them what they can or can’t do.”
megumi gives him another look.
and yeah, so satoru already does that. they still don’t appreciate it.
he sighs, smiling at the boy. anything to mess with him, really. he ruffles megumi’s hair. “kid, she’s fine. i can’t just tell them to give her a couple of weeks off. there has to be a reason. and,” he adds, cheerfully. “i’ve been told it’s impolite to speak on someone’s behalf without their input.”
“you don’t care about being polite,” megumi argues, crossing his arms.
satoru groans internally. he’s really not going to let this go.
it’s not that satoru necessarily disagrees, but anything he does to help you is going to be refuted with a “butt out,” or “leave me alone, satoru.”
“true,” he says, grinning as he mocks the boys stance. “but i do care about being yelled at. particularly by your mother.”
“she needs a break.”
satoru rolls his eyes. “she’s getting one. the next couple of days are free, and she’s taking a nap right now.”
megumi frowns, even deeper than usual, and stares satoru down until he breaks.
“megumi,” the man groans, childishly, pushing the boy out of the room. “you don’t need to worry about her. chill out. just go back to reading about rocks or whatever you were doing.”
“it’s geology.”
satoru waves a hand, indifferent.
(secretly trying to come up with a way to get you to talk to him. he can’t ask because you’ll just ignore him. he can’t force it out of you because that would get the two of you nowhere.
what other options are left, really? you’ve put satoru in a terrible position).
“then can we get something, instead?” megumi asks, almost pleading. “flowers, or… whatever girls like.”
“y/n already has flowers. i bought them.”
“buy something else.”
“who taught you to be this stubborn?”
megumi only scowls at him.
satoru sighs, scratching his head. he knows he should do something—but he’s so used to sitting around and waiting for you to fix everything.
yes, he does recognize that it’s a terrible habit, and completely unfair. he also recognizes that he is the worst person in the world.
eventually he sighs. “okay. how about i order dinner?” he asks, almost wincing. it’s the most natural response—everything can be fixed with food, in satoru’s sophisticated opinion. “that’ll be easy. want to go ask mom what she wants?”
megumi practically runs to your room, leaving satoru with no time to remind him that you’re probably asleep, knocking just briefly—from what satoru can hear—before going in.
he tip-toes up to the door, also wanting to check in.
satoru is nothing if not nosy.
and he might as well let megumi do all of the dirty work.
“um, i don’t care,” he hears you saying. “whatever you guys want.”
“it’s for you.”
there’s a pause. then, “really, megs, i’m not very hungry, so…”
megumi is frowning down at you when satoru steps in.
“good nap?” he asks, smiling and sitting at the edge of your bed.
“you don’t need to get dinner. it’s my turn.”
he waves a hand. “i feel like takeout.”
you frown, about to argue when megumi speaks up, glancing between the two of you with an almost furious expression.
“what’s wrong?” he asks, his voice soft but mad. like usual. satoru realizes that he’s been tricked into contributing to this.
“what?”
“why are you upset?”
“upset?” you repeat, eyes widening. “i’m not upset, megu—“
“are you sick?”
“no,” you say, immediately. “i’m just a little tired but it’s—“
“megumi,” satoru interrupts, trying to ignore the almost hurt look on your face—the glance you send his way, pleading and worried. he knows you hate this the most. “let’s let mom sleep some more, okay? tsumiki and you can decide what you want—“
“no.”
and neither of you can argue, or console the confused boy, before he’s climbing into your bed with a determined look on his face.
satoru tried to grab on to him, but megumi is having none of that, shaking him off before he can get a good grip. you’re looking at satoru anxiously, and this is the worst.
if satoru knows anything about you, it’s that you don’t want to be coddled. you don’t want to accept any help, even if it’s from your sweet, concerned son.
“megumi—“ you say, though, satoru notes, don’t make any attempts to move him when he struggles to get under the covers with you, or when he just sits by your side, barely touching you.
“i’m staying here.”
“really, bud, i’m okay. you don’t need to worry about me.”
“you’re sad.”
“i’m not.”
megumi looks at you, and satoru watches as you both share a glance. an internal conversation he’ll never get to be apart of.
for once in his life he’s not even jealous about it.
“it’s…” you say, but the two boys watch as your shoulders slack and your face drops. all at once, you lose color, life, and just sit there. “it’s fine.”
you say it to them, but it sounds more like a reminder to yourself.
satoru’s face falls. he has no idea what to say, what to do to help you—he’s spent so much time denying that there was anything wrong, that he could do anything to help, and now he’s got no answers.
he feels like an idiot, sitting there. megumi shouldn’t be taking more initiative, he should be the one worrying about you, the one to go to—
megumi doesn’t say anything though. he only moves closer to you, not complaining when your arm wraps around his shoulder and you hold him to you.
like a life vest. a support in all of the vastness.
he doesn’t need to say ‘it’s okay,’ or ‘i’m here for you,’ for the words to ring out across the the air.
and, satoru realizes, quickly, he’s only doing what you do for them. what you do best.
climbing in beside them and making sure they know that they’re not alone. being that support, no matter how unwanted.
megumi’s learned from the best.
“sorry,” you mutter to him. “i know im gross.”
megumi shakes his head and settles into you even further. and the boy doesn’t cuddle—or, at least, without being forced—but your face softens as he leans against you, allowing this kind of intimacy.
and, maybe, satoru thinks, that’s the problem with all of you.
no one knows quite what to say. what to do to help someone with something that they can’t understand. neither he or megumi is sure how to dig you out of this hole.
none of you are very good with words.
but, at least, satoru knows how to be good at this.
he sets his glasses on your bedside table, and he moves you both over with ease, smiling when you both grunt at his intrusion.
and then you’re a tower of people, all leaning against one another. building blocks stacked on top of each other.
you relax into satoru almost instantly and he kisses the top of your head, feeling some sort of pride—just at the fact that you’ll let him be here, with you.
maybe that’s the thing with families, he thinks. no one needs to say anything for it to be okay.
and the uneasiness sits there with all of you. the past couple of weeks—the distancing and disassociating—linger there.
there’s nothing he can say to make everything all better. he could destroy the entire world right now, save for your house, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
but this is nice. a hug might not fix everything, but it won’t make anything worse
and after a minute or two, you say: “where’s tsumiki?”
and she peeks her head out from your door, smiling at all three of you. it takes her three seconds to jump on the bed, having been waiting there the whole time, the final piece to your messed up puzzle.
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beom-pyu · 1 year
Text
7 minutes in heaven with txt
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txt x gn!reader , tags; pure fluff , sfw , you guys have crushes on each other :3 , kisses ♡ , headcanons , reactions , no warnings
a/n: i'll be writing some headcanons and little drabbles while i work on a new fic hehe :3 it's going to be a long one so i'm not sure how long it'll take since i'm finishing up this semester, but i have everything planned and ready to go! i'm so so excited
(rest of the members after the cut!)
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。 °₊ yeonjun
∙ acts like he isn't affected at all, simply nodding with a tiny smile when the bottle lands on him
∙ but internally, he's like "oh shit oh shit what do i do should i kiss them should i confess what do i do"
∙ surprisingly shy once you two are in the small closet
∙ you're so close to him and he can smell your perfume and his hands are all sweaty and
∙ tries to spark up some small talk, but in the worst ways possible
∙ "so... the weather..."
∙ and you're just quietly laughing at him from behind your hand
∙ he's so cute
∙ he pouts at your reaction because he thinks you're making fun of him
∙ "why are you laughing?"
∙ "you're just so cute"
∙ and now he's smiling all dopey and happily
∙ "you think i'm cute?"
∙ already knows your answer but he just wants to hear you say it again
∙ can't stop looking at your lips while you guys playfully talk
∙ you look so pretty and he's been wanting to kiss you for like... ever
∙ so he just blurts out a "can i kiss you?"
∙ your eyes widen at his sudden confidence and for a second, he thinks you're going to reject him because you take so long to answer
∙ but you're just trying not to freak out at the fact that choi yeonjun wants to kiss you
∙ you finally reply with a "please do" and he wastes no time as he presses his lips against yours
∙ one of his hands rests on your hip while the other holds your chin to tip your head up so he can kiss you deeper
∙ you feel drunk even though you haven't had any drinks
∙ your body grows warm as he kisses you and you let your hand come up to rest on his chest
∙ the moment literally feels like a movie
∙ the door suddenly swings open and you quickly pull away as someone screams before running off
∙ "GET A ROOM!"
∙ "huening, they're literally IN a room"
∙ yeonjun groans and rolls his eyes at their antics and you can't stop laughing
∙later that night when you guys are finally alone on the balcony, yeonjun tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes deeply locked onto yours
∙ "let me make up for the interruption earlier, hm?"
∙ you swear your knees go weak
。 °₊ soobin
∙ he wants to die
∙ the bottle lands on you and one of the guys bumps his shoulder in a silent congratulations
∙ he's a shy mess, covering his face with his hands after he makes eye contact with you from the other side of the circle
∙ right as you enter the closet, he immediately starts rambling
∙ "listen, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to but i really like you and—"
∙ completely caught off guard when you grab his shoulders to pull him down to your lips
∙ lets out a small surprised noise before you feel his smile, his hands coming to wrap around your waist
∙ starts off as a few pecks before he pulls away slightly to whisper "this is okay, right?"
∙ and you're just like "i kissed you first, didn't i?"
∙ and he laughs quietly and is like "you're right" before he captures your lips again
∙ the kiss is surprisingly passionate
∙ he pulls you in closer with his big hands, thumbs rubbing circles on the small of your back
∙ you play with the hairs on the nape of his neck and he just melts into your touch
∙ his heart is thumping in his chest and he lowkey starts to think he's dreaming
∙ as much as he's imagined kissing you, he never thought it would truly happen so he's on cloud nine
∙ when you guys pull away, he can't stop smiling
∙ pecks your lips a few times with giggles in between because !!!
∙ he needs to make this moment last
∙ comes out of the closet with the goofiest grin on his face
∙ and beomgyu is like "you all owe me 20 bucks" to the other guys because no one believed that he would actually kiss you
∙ you and soobin look at each other before giggling at the entire situation
∙ the fact that you made the first move can stay a secret between the both of you
∙ once you're home, you giggle into your pillow, kicking your feeties as you replay the moment over and over again until you fall asleep
∙ you wake up to a text from soobin saying that he would like to properly take you out (and kiss you again. and again. and again.)
。 °₊ beomgyu
∙ beomgyu is so smug when you spin the bottle and it lands on him
∙ tries to accuse you of purposefully choosing him and you're just like "?!?!?"
∙ because you were lowkey hoping it landed on him
∙ but he doesn't need to know that because you know he would never shut up about it
∙ a chatterbox as soon as the closet door shuts
∙ "so, what are we supposed to do in here? kiss or something?"
∙ "well, that's what i was hoping for"
∙ beomgyu pauses at your words, his voice growing quieter as he breathes out a "what?"
∙ because under all his joking, he has the fattest crush on you
∙ and he wants to kiss you too
∙ more than he'd like to admit
∙ you get a little shy at the sudden mood change, muttering out an "only if you want to"
∙ beomgyu exhales a laugh, running his fingers through his hair for a second
∙ he notices you start to regret your words, taking a few steps closer to you before he lifts your head with his index finger, a small smile on his lips
∙ "of course i want to"
∙ your eyes are wide as you stare at him and his stomach flips at your gaze
∙ he leans in a little closer, your lips barely touching
∙ you can feel his breath on your skin and your mind grows fuzzy
∙ "may i?" he whispers and you nod quickly in response
∙ with that little smile still on his lips, he kisses you so delicately and holds your chin so softly and time just seems to slow down
∙ his eyelashes tickle your cheeks as his lips move against yours
∙ his free hand laces its fingers with yours, squeezing your hand softly
∙ literally doesn't care when the guys yell the time is up from the other side of the door
∙ he is going to kiss you for as long as he wants
∙ when you finally do leave the closet, beomgyu's hand stays glued to yours
∙ it's not even a shock to everyone else because they secretly set you guys up
∙ calls you once you're home and asks if you'd like to try being something more with him
∙ he doesn't stop thinking about the kiss until he sees you again
。 °₊ taehyun
∙ he honestly wasn't even into the game at first
∙ so he's surprised when the bottle lands on him
∙ and he's even more surprised when he sees you smiling at him shyly from across the room
∙ it's a little awkward at first seeing as he barely says anything
∙ asks if you're comfortable, if he should scoot over and give you some more room
∙ and you're just like "no no it's okay!"
∙ doesn't show it but his heart is beating so fast
∙ your hands brush and he's just frozen like
∙ he can't believe he's actually in this situation with you
∙ he sparks up some small talk and he's honestly really calm and soft about the entire situation
∙ just loves spending time with you and doesn't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do
∙ even though you really want to kiss him
∙ but you're too shy to make a move
∙ and so is he
∙ you guys talk and he's so funny
∙ your stomach hurts from laughing afterward
∙ he's a little blushy when you guys leave the closet
∙ waves off the guys' disappointed comments when they find out you didn't kiss because he doesn't want you to feel awkward
∙ probably chokes out kai when he says "but you told me you wanted to kiss them—"
∙ and now it's your turn to blush
∙ he walks you home after the get-together, and the whole time he's thinking "i should kiss them, i should kiss them, i should kiss them"
∙ so when you reach your doorstep, he quietly calls your name and you can see how shaky his eyes are
∙ and he's just like "is it alright if i kiss you?"
∙ and in your head you're like "YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES"
∙ but instead, you reply with a little "yes" and a cute little nod and he's smiling at you and you're smiling at him and it's just so soft and cute and AAAAA
∙ he steps forward and cups the side of your face, his eyes flickering in between yours for a moment
∙ you can feel the butterflies in your stomach going crazy
∙ his lips are so gentle on yours as if he's trying to express all of his emotions towards you through the kiss
∙ his thumb brushes over your cheek and you feel like you're floating
∙ despite it being short and sweet, you pull away breathless, your heartbeat drumming in your ears
∙ taehyun's face is as red as a tomato and you can't help but to giggle at how shy he looks
∙ he wishes you goodnight with a small smile and you probably do a happy little dance once you shut the door behind you
。 °₊ hueningkai
∙ when the bottle lands on him, his face is immediately covered in shock
∙ lowkey thinks it's some prank the guys pulled on him because they know how much he likes you
∙ lets out a small "finally" under his breath and one of the guys hears him and they just start cackling
∙ he is sooo nervous and giggly once you're inside the closet
∙ can barely hold eye contact for more than 3 seconds without his heart stuttering
∙ really, really, really wants to kiss you
∙ but he doesn't do anything until you show that you want to kiss him too
∙ you guys sit facing each other in the cramped space, knees touching and he just has that goofy little smile on his face
∙ and you're a little flustered, letting out a "what are you staring at?" with an awkward laugh
∙ and he's just giggles and he's like "you, of course" in a soft voice
∙ and you're just a giggly mess and kai is so obsessed with the sound of your laughter
∙ he looks so cute and you just want to kiss that smile on his face
∙ you don't even realize you said your thoughts out loud until you notice his eyes light up, the tips of his ears glowing red
∙ he squeaks out a "you—you want to kiss me?"
∙ and you can't even deny it so you just bashfully laugh with a small "yeah"
∙ you didn't think it was possible for his smile to grow even wider, his eyes bunching up cutely at your affirmation
∙ he mumbles an "i want to kiss you too" and your face heats up
∙ "then do it"
∙ the kiss is so cute and innocent, you both giggling nervously, your noses brushing at the proximity
∙ his hand comes up to rest on the back of your neck as he leans in, pecking your lips once, twice, before full-on kissing you
∙ your head spins at how carefully he holds you
∙ everything passes by too quick and soon enough your time is up
∙ his face is bright red when he steps out and he tries to play it cool
∙ but he keeps blushing and giggling and looking at you
∙ like he can't believe that actually happened
∙ the guys asks for details but he shoos them off so you don't feel pressured
∙ just an overall sweetheart <3
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reblogs are highly cherished!
masterlist
©️BEOM-PYU
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dawndelion-winery · 9 months
Text
Tripping Into Love
Clumsy confessions and the silly things they do for you
Ft. Capitano, Dainsleif, Diluc, Kaeya, Pantalone
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Capitano:
He knows better than to charge in without a plan
At least he thinks he does, which is why he's begrudgingly forking over a hefty portion of his personal funds to Pantalone in exchange for information about you
He didn't stop to think how odd it might be for him to know things about you when you've never told him
Honestly, the only reason you probably haven't told him to piss off for being a creep is because you like to think you know him well enough to know he wouldn't have any unsavoury intentions
That and his reputation as the esteemed captain
He does panic when you question where he got the information from though
He doesn't know Pantalone have you a heads up simply to have the joy of watching Capitano squirm
"Did...didn't you?" Capitano stammered. "Perhaps I heard it from someone else, I could've sworn I'd heard somewhere that these were your favourite flowers."
You were cackling internally, of course, knowing his informant. Not that you'd tell him that; he could stew in his panic for a while longer until he finally mustered the courage to ask you out explicitly.
Dainsleif:
You were only joking when you said he should act more knightly
Sure he'd said there was no point since the fall of his nation meant all titles and status were irrelevant
But that's pretty hard to believe when he's practically bending over backwards for you
It was hard not to notice his efforts, honestly, with how curt and cavalier you knew he could be
Yet there he was, offering you his knee as a footstool for your comfort
"Dain, this isn't what I meant when I said I'd love to see you get on one knee."
You looked at the bough keeper quizzically. In return, he only gave you his usual, impassive expression as he insisted. "You're tired, it is a knight's due duty to ensure his companion's comfort."
You'd protest if it hadn't been for the faintest of blushes dusting his uncovered cheek, his gaze averting subtly in a momentary flicker. So you sat on his thigh, resting your head on his shoulder with a soft thanks as you shut your eyes, leaving the ex-captain swallowing hard as he stilled his aching heart.
Diluc:
Mondstadt's most eligible bachelor? Or most rizzless?
Sure, he's got the money to send you gifts and little tokens of his affection as he courts you
And yes, it's sweet to receive bouquets and desserts that remind him of you
What's less than ideal is the love letters he sends
You find yourself compared to the most questionable of descriptors that you're not sure if he likes you
I mean, did he seriously compare you to his deceased pet tortoise?
Years of living like a social recluse has scuffed all sense of tact he might have had
"Master Diluc-"
"Just Diluc is fine, love."
You blinked slowly, noting the way a faint blush crept up his cheeks, thinking he was slick with sneaking in a little pet name for you (he wasn't). It was hard to tell him relating you to the soil in the winery wasn't the most romantic declaration of his affection when he seemed so proud of himself. Admittedly, you were somewhat proud of him for coming out of his shell to court you too. But this!! This wasn't it.
"I don't need you to try to be poetic, Diluc, a simple 'I think you're lovely' is enough."
"Oh."
Kaeya:
Remember those poetry lessons he got from Venti? (Well not really but still)
Venti was peerless when it came to his songs, so naturally, you were quite enchanted with his performances
And of course, why wouldn't Kaeya think serenading you would be a good way to win your heart?
Unlike Diluc, he's much more delicate with his words, weaving them to flatter you best
Yet it's not quite what piqued your interest in him
Sure, it's poetically romantic and all, but it didn't really feel like him
It was moreso his banter with his estranged brother that you found endearing
"Care for a refreshing beverage on this fine day? My treat, of course, the Angel's Share has a new series of fruit mocktails that are just perfect for the weather, and I'd love to try then with you."
You hadn't expected master Diluc himself to stop the both of you at the entrance - well, he stopped Kaeya, at least. "Isn't it a little early for you to be drinking? As I recall, it's office hours for the Knights of Favonius right now."
"I have the day off, am I not allowed to drink in the company of my lovely companion?" Kaeya quips, gesturing to you.
"So you're being a bad influence?"
"We're not here for alcohol."
Diluc looked at Kaeya doubtfully, glancing in your direction as though to gauge if Kaeya was bluffing.
Oh woe is you who has to see Diluc burning holes into the back of Kaeya's head as he moniters his brother on a date.
Pantalone:
Money can buy anything.
Except your affection, it would seem
Sure, you enjoy the gifts, and it's nice to be spoilt
But he wants you to look at him the way he looks at you
Worse still is how he's conflicted about making use of his intelligence network to dig up information about you
"it'd ruin the process of getting to know (you)" he says
Which leaves him squeezing time into his schedule to spend with you against his better judgement
He's totally not slaving through his work to make time for you
He's nothing if not opportunistic though
Will most definitely take advantage of any concern you show
"Eyebags? No, no, I doubt I have those, but if you insist, why not come a little closer to check?"
All you'd said was he looked a little tired and haggard, and suddenly he has you in his chambers, sitting on his satin sheets as he lays his head in your lap. After all, if you were so concerned about whether he was resting, surely you wouldn't oppose helping to make sure he got a good sleep, yes?
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Taglist: @myluvkeiji @aqui-soba @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @chaosinanutshell @heizours @haliyamori @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating @cxlrose @astrequa @eowinthetraveler @ajaxstar @boundedbyfate @the-lost-anime-dad @moonbyunniee @greyrain23 @heavenlyfloof
Commissioned by @monstersealclubber
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cozycottagetarot · 1 month
Text
PAC: How Can You Break The Cycle
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Messages From Elle: We did it guys!😮‍💨
Notes:
This PAC Covers:
What is the cycle?
What keeps it going?
What will it take to break it?
What could that look like for you? (Patreon Extended)
‼️ THIS READING IS MEANT FOR SELF-REFLECTION AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY -- While this reading does broach topics relating to mental health & mindset, contain a bit of advice and reflective questions, IT'S IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM MEANT TO REPLACE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE OF ANY KIND. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️
Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂
PILE 1 (Brick Wall)
Current Energy
Cards: 10 of cups, The Empress, The Chariot
I feel as though you’re currently in this energy where things couldn’t be better…. But then why are you here? I know that's my job to figure out but still. I feel like you’ve been making strides to create the life that you want. You’re charging forward, becoming more disciplined and things are starting to feel warm.
The cycle that needs to be broken:
Cards: The Wheel of Fortune, Nine of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Four of Wands
The cycle that needs to be broken is one of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re tired of fighting or always fending off the downward turn of the wheel of fortune and while you may try to keep your faith that things can get better and stay better, you're always expecting things to get bad again. You could be worried the new beginning won't start, the relationships won't come, or the financial abundance won't find you. I think this fear or vigilance has such a tight hold on you, that you end up not taking action. You may need to readjust your game plan. You don't allow yourself to relax. You don't allow yourself to celebrate your wins… you're always in this state of hyper vigilance.
What keeps the cycle going?
Cards: The Sun, The High Priestess, Two of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles
I don’t think you really allow yourself to be happy. That may be the current energy I was picking up on as well. When things are going great you don’t really let them go great. I also think you’re neglecting the things that are really important to you inside… maybe so much that you don’t even know what those things are anymore. Not knowing how to navigate this internal world of yours keeps fueling this cycle of 'oh, what bad thing will happen next?' You may also have a hard time making decisions or generally deciding what you want, floating back and forth between options. This back-and-forth stops you from actually putting in the work it takes to succeed and enjoy the FULL results, therefore keeping the cycle going. Another thing I picked up on is maybe the wheel keeps turning back and forth as well because from going back and forth all the time, you’re never really getting to move past the lessons you may need to learn in order for you to reach your desired outcome or abundance.
What will it take to break this cycle:
Cards: Seven of Cups, Five of Cups, Two of Cups, Ace of Pentacles
If you want to break this cycle, you have to make a decision on what exactly it is you want. It might mean leaving behind something, but you have to remember that so much more also awaits you in the process. Stop dwelling on what has gone 'wrong' before, especially if it’s past events that influence your lack of decision. It's okay to have that vigilance and use the past to better navigate the future-- HOWEVER, it's also important to get honest with yourself about whether it's a valid concern or a fear talking. It's time to change your mindset to focus on what can go right. I think also there will be someone available to help you once you make a decision about what you want to pursue. The alternate I'm getting is that you have to allow yourself to lean on others if you want to break the cycle. This could be through personal and professional relationships. But you have to actually decide yes, this is what you want. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to change as you grow, but first, you have to plant the seed. Once your seedling sprouts you can cultivate your plant however you’d like. There’s a lot out there available to you but making the decision to move towards it is where it begins.
Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next pac!
Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!
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PILE 2 (Statue)
Current Energy:
Cards: King of Wands, The Star, The Tower rev, Queen of Wands
I see you showing up as being in a hopeful energy and that good fortune of some kind is coming your way. A good balance of masculine and feminine energy. There’s a sense of resisting something internally, however. A transition of some kind that you're wanting to make. It seems like it could be good for you and a lot of different areas in your life would improve, but what you know or are accustomed to might clash with what you want. However, you have what it takes to succeed. If you were drawn to pile 1, after reading this pile consider checking it out as well.
The cycle that needs to end:
Cards: Eight of Swords, The Devil, Ten of Swords, Knight of Swords
I feel like you’ve got a gloomy inner world. Very melancholy. You’re turning a blind eye to the things that are holding you back and draining your energy. It feels like you almost escape it but it gets you every time. You might not take the best care of yourself mentally or physically. With all the swords it could be a mental thing too and it’s important that you get (professional) help and take those steps (of taking better care of yourself). The cycle that needs to break is you getting stuck in this energy.
What keeps the cycle going:
Cards: Four of Swords, Eight of Cups rev, Ace of Wands rev, Ace of Cups
You don’t rest. You won’t walk away from the things draining your energy. You won’t open up your heart and you won’t do anything with your creative sparks... more or less.
It’s so important that you take a moment to take a good pause and regroup. You could find yourself turning to poor coping mechanisms and that's not good. You can't try to leave a bad situation either if you don’t know what made it bad. You also have to sometimes stick things out. If you tried breaking a habit and it didn't work, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to always have that habit. That’s a bad way of looking at things, and while it’s understandable to feel that way, you still need to work on it. You’re allowed to connect with your emotions and create as well... There's a need to review your plans/goals as well. You can be successful, but may lack the resources to easily be so... that’s also understandable but you can still work with what you do have. You may also lack confidence in you abilities to achieve your goals. You can manifest so many things you want but you have to believe in yourself and open your emotions to be able to connect with the feeling of what you want. It’s easy to say I want XYZ, but if you don’t figure out what that’s going to feel like, then how will you know when you’ve got it? It’s easy to get caught up in material things but the last thing you want is to wake up one day to a life that looks exactly like you wanted it to, only to realize it doesn’t FEEL the way you wanted it to.
What will it take to break the cycle:
Cards: Judgement, The Hierophant, Knight of Wands, Page of Cups
It’s time for you to get it together. Get serious about moving on to the next phase. I feel like it’s all going to work out based on the cards but you really do have to stop holding yourself back. Find a support group. Consider finding creative/artistic ways to express yourself. Step into a leadership role because there’s a good chance you can lend the wisdom you’ve acquired to others… This could be through a social media platform, sharing your writing, attending a local community event, etc. Work on making sure how you’re living aligns with your beliefs and vice versa. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Give yourself your all. I also feel like this is one of those situations where you have to remind yourself that sometimes motivation follows action.
Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!
Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!
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PILE 3 (Broken TV)
Current energy:
Cards: Wheel of fortune, Queen of swords, Queen of pentacles, Two of wands
Your current energy is that you've shifted to a 'really good' energy or you're about to shift to a 'really good' energy. The Magician isn't here but that's kind of the energy I'm picking up on here too. Either being very faithful right now that everything is going to work out for you or that's the energy/mindset that you need to tap into. There are options available to you... You need a plan of some kind. You feel unable to move... unequipped even. Thinking about (or needing to) your long-term future. With the two queens, I think you're leaning into one of the two embodiments of the queen, maybe even both. You might have a hard time seeing yourself as either.
The cycle that needs to be broken:
Cards: The Hanged Man, The Tower, The World, Judgement
The other piles were definitely what I would consider a cycle on a loop that needed breaking but yours feels less like a cycle and more like you're just... stuck. You're ready to or have 'level/ed up', but it's as though you're stuck in limbo. This could be because you've gone through a 'tower moment' recently (say within the last year give or take) that's left you stuck in limbo. Or it could be a fear of having a 'tower moment' that is leaving stuck in limbo. Regardless this cycle is one of you needing to bring something to completion.
What keeps the cycle going:
Cards: Knight of Wands, The Emperor, The Sun, Eight of Pentacles, The Fool
You might be rather impatient. When you do things you may expect to see results immediately...that sense of 'oh, I did this tasks once, why don't I feel better 👀'. It could also be that you might not plan out your goals thoroughly or you may not be very clear on what it is that you want to do/achieve. I feel like since you don't take that moment to strategize and figure out what actually needs to be done, this cycle keeps going. You may just charge forth into whatever you think will bring you happiness. However, this means you can't put in the work required which can bring you back to a place of fear and doubt. This can create anxiety and likely catastrophizing which brings us back to that fear of a 'tower moment'. It could also simply be a case of being too laid back? On the flip side, while it's always good to have faith that things will work out, it's important to remember that a lot of times, you still have to play a role in that.
What will it take to break the cycle: Cards: The Star, Justice, Three of Pentacles, Knight of Cups
Have hope, yes. Dream and believe that good things are meant for you and those good things will find you. BUT, balance that with meaningful/conscious action. You must consider the long term. What is the end goal going to look/feel like? What is the journey of getting there going to take? Some of you already have the knowledge you need while others may still need to acquire it. Regardless, learning and implementation will help break the cycle. You have what it takes, but you have to stay the course. It's also important that you use action rather than simply ideas to motivate you. Fall in love with the act of doing.
I also feel like you should make a love list. I initially thought of that while going my first glance at the cards.
Also, do me a favour and take a nap, please! ✋
Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!
Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!
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PILE 4 (Hammer)
Note: If you're someone who reads what cards were pulled, I mistyped the Seven suit for Current Energy and The Cycle so now that I'm editing, I realised I have no idea which suit the card belonged to hence the (?). Okay, that's all!
Current energy:
Cards: Seven of Swords(?), Queen of Pentacles, Three of Wands
It's time for you to broaden your horizons, however, you currently have to tread carefully. You could currently be job searching or looking for scholarships etc. There's a lot of opportunities available to you or becoming available to you. But you need to be diligent and read the fine print and get the details to make sure you won't be compromised in the process. It's important though that you be able to maintain a balance between your home/personal and academic/career life. You're in an energy of needing to remember to put yourself first.
The cycle that needs to be broken:
Cards: Two of Swords, The Emperor, Page of Swords, Seven of Wands (?)
The cycle that needs to break is one of constantly being at odds with everyone. I feel like you’re constantly bending over backwards or breaking your neck to try and appease others-- and no matter what you do, it’s not enough. I think this might potentially resonate more with those who are academics. When faced with a decision between what will benefit you vs what will benefit someone else, you have a tendency to either not make a decision of choose the option that will benefit someone else instead. This could be because you either live under someone with authority over you (like a caretaker or family) or you're in a position where you feel like you have to take care of others (siblings/family, partner).
I feel as though for some of you it could also be a romantic relationship? I'm not familiar with 'channeling' through music, but find myself doing it a lot lately. The song 'Lifetime' by Livingston just resonated with part of this pile for some reason. When asking if it’s a romantic situation, I got the cards: Eight of Pentacles, The Devil, and Justice rev. I’m also getting 'the right person, but wrong time'.
I think if it's someone with whom you share romantic feelings for, it's a situation where the relationship likely feels imbalanced and like hard work, but you don't feel like you can step away. If that resonated then that could be it. It could also be any unfair relationship dynamic.
What keeps the cycle going:
Cards: The Hanged Man, Ace of Wands, Death, The Moon, Eight of Swords
I think you’re in a cage of your own making, but not because you can’t see. You can see, but what you’re seeing isn’t clear. Because of this, you tend to end up pressing pause on moving forward. There's a lot of creative energy around you... for some, it's that it's a creative field waiting to accept you. However, you're too afraid to actually go for it and give it your all so I think you keep 'pulling the wool' over your own eyes. I think if there are people around you in opposition to you moving forward, you might see it as a convenient excuse to not move forward and transform into the next stage of your life. It's almost like the cycle doesn't need to be a cycle. You know when you're listening to a song and you keep restarting it 'cause you keep getting interrupted? And sometimes it's just you being extra because it wasn't even your favourite part you're just kind of nitpicking? Yeah, same vibe I'm getting here.
If the relationship resonates: I think you may need to let go of (or loosen your hold on) because they could be holding you back to the point they're dragging you down. Things are shifting for you, especially internally. You could be trying to hold it back though, but in doing so you could burn up and out. You’re seeing what really is and maybe you don’t want to. That’s the part that keeps this cycle going. I see images of a phoenix rising too.
What will it take to break the cycle:
Cards: Queen of Wands, The Chariot rev, Judgement, Three of Pentacles, The World, The Lovers
It’s time to use the things you’ve learned. Let go and let the cycle close. Trust that you’ll find love again or that you’ll find inner harmony. Trust that it will all work out in your favour. Take steps, even if it's baby steps to doing whatever it is you want to do. I feel like I said this already in a different pile, but even if you can't make a complete switch yet, start engaging in the things you want to do or eventually pivot too in small steps. You can always research or engage with it as a hobby for the time being. Also finding balance between who you are and how you show up to the world. Remember you have a lot to offer and it's going to do everyone a whole lot more good in the long run, the more authentically you can show up.
Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!
Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!
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