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babylooneytoonz · 4 years

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I Didn't Love Your Father - Tommy Shelby X reader

I have been putting off writing for Peaky Blinders for a long time now, just silently reading and enjoying the works by all you precious writers. But somehow I decided that I should go ahead and try to come up with a solution the Writer's block in my mind.

It might not be that good but I've tried writing something and ugh, do let me know if it's shitty as fuck. I might even consider doing a part two to this one maybe later.

Tommy is kind of an arse in this one. He leaves the girl who he had a history with and who loved him through thick and thin for Grace and when she is finally happy again, engaged to another man, Tommy realizes he loves her and wants her back.

Warning : Angst with a not so happy ending?

Gif - Not mine.

You felt like you had devoted your life to him – sticking with him in thick and thin, you had watched him grow from a young boy to a dark, vicious man, a man that could throw you under a running bus if it meant he got what he wanted. That is what Thomas Shelby had become now, and no matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise, he wasn't the man you had fallen in love with, before the war happened.

You still remembered the day Tommy and his brothers were supposed to board the train, the train that was to take them to their fate. You still remembered how you had waved him off, a boy, a boy you loved with all your heart – but he had returned, not as the boy you always knew him to be , but a man. He still looked the same, his blue oceanic irises looking down at you, but they lacked the warmth you saw in them before he had left. You often wondered about the horrors that he might have witnessed at the Somme but you never had the heart, or the courage to ask him about it. Not that he would have answered.

At first, you had thought that time would heal all the wounds – that one day, Tommy would wake up and maybe have a change of a heart, that he would just look at you and realize how you still were in love with him, even after all these years. You hoped he would realize how you had been waiting for him to come back to you, but he didn't.

Instead, he found her.

It was a low blow to you, when you found out about the barmaid that had Tommy's heart. Polly, even Ada, tried to comfort you, telling you that Grace had put a spell on Tommy, that he was not in his right senses, but you knew, Tommy wasn't in love with you anymore. Why blame a woman when a man couldn't control his desires for her?

So you had done what best you could do – try to move on. It had not been easy at first, but somehow you had managed to keep at bay the storm that wreaked havoc in your heart. You found yourself a man, twice as man as Tommy would ever be, who loved you for you and cherished you, so much so that he went down on one knee and asked you to be his wife.

You accepted. You deserved a man like him, not Tommy Shelby, who your heart still pinned for.

It wasn't until that nail-biting winter morning when Tommy suddenly had a change of a heart. You had decided to head home early that afternoon. Locking up the bakery early, you stuffed the keys into your purse and walked down the five minute path that led to your rented apartment in Small Heath, Birmingham.

As soon as you stepped into the familiar confines of the place you called home, your eyes fell on the not so good looking interior. The paint was chipped off at the edges and the mirror on your vanity had a massive crack. Taking your coat off and hanging it on the coat hanger, you locked the door and put the tea kettle on the stove on a light flame for the water to get boiled. Your fingers toyed aimlessly with the ring that adorned your ring finger, a tiny smile breaking out against your lips.

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door – more like pounding against your door in an urgent way. Your frown widened when you waited for a few seconds but the knocking, instead of dying down, started sounding even more frantic than before. Without wasting any more time, and a fear inside of you that your flimsy wooden door will splinter into two if the merciless pounding against it continued for two more minutes, your feet literally ran towards the door, pulling it open.

"Tommy?" A gush of air flew out of your lips, when the sight of the gaunt, blue eyed man caught your eye, his hair disheveled and messy, almost falling over his eyes. His eyes looked glossy, hazy and he reeked of whiskey. That's when you knew he was intoxicated. He lazily brought up his fingers to his lips, a lit cigarette plucked between his fingers as he look a long, lingering drag of it, the smoke bellowing out of his plump lips.

He waited a few seconds, wondering if you would invite him inside but it was as though someone had turned off the wiring to your brain. You kept standing there, looking at him blankly, unable to move or utter any word. That's when he took the cue, shoving past you and went into your apartment, leaving you still standing at the door, reeling from a sudden shock of seeing him at your door when you least expected it.

You swirled around, when the sudden realisation hit you. There he was, the man you loved, sat on your bed with a cigarette in his hand, pretending as though nothing had ever happened.

"Tommy, what's the bloody meaning of this?" Your arms flew around your frame, as though you were suddenly cold but the man in front of you didn't react. He just sat there, his body stiff, his shoulders almost drooping as he plucked the cigarette and shoved the butt into your ashtray, finally getting up from the edge of your bed.

You could only watch in a harrowed way as he speed walked towards you, his pocket watch dangling from the crook of his coat until he was standing inches from you, his eyes fixed on the ring on your index finger.

"Call it off."

"Excuse me?" You realized you were glaring at him now, your eyes reaching his lips as he looked down at you.

"You heard me. Call off the fucking engagement, to whoever it is. You think I don't see what you're doing ? You are fuckin' trying to get back at me aren't you?" You knew it was the alcohol talking. Because Tommy, the man he had now become, never spoke more than three or four words to you now.

Maybe in a parallel world, you would have been happy – happy that maybe he finally felt the same way about you and your engagement to another man had caused him to have a change of heart – but you had known Tommy Shelby all your life now and you knew what Tommy was feeling right now wasn't love. And even if it was, it was too late. You see the thing with Tommy was, he often wanted things that didn't belong to him. You were the best example of this – when he had you, he didn't want you. But now you were someone else's, Tommy couldn't bear it.

"Why? Did Grace leave? Is that why you are back?" You snapped at him, not failing to notice the sudden look of anger cross his eyes, only to take form of a distilled, simmering rage. You didn't know what you had just said as a come back was actually true, Grace had indeed left him and gone to London.

"It was you all along, it never was Grace. I thought I did but –" Tommy's voice cracked, only slightly, causing you to falter, wanting to reach out and hold him because he did look like a defeated man. It was funny how Tommy was saying it now, how he truly felt about you, but you knew how it was too late.

You still loved Tommy, with all your heart. But you two weren't meant to be. Not in this lifetime. You were never selfish, had never been selfish, and you couldn't abandon the man who took your hand in his when Tommy had thrown you out like discarded clothes.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Thomas." You flinched at the harshness of your own words and it didn't fail to come into your notice the sudden stiffness that came over Tommy when you called him by his first name, something you never really did. "You don't get to just bloody walk in and out of my life whenever you want, just because you are Thomas Fuckin' Shelby. I waited for you, for fucking years. You think that was a joke? Ey?" You pointed your index finger, stabbing Tommy's chest with your pointed nail when he didn't reply, his head almost lowered when he realized he didn't have the answers you wanted him to give you. "I cried myself to sleep every fucking night, Thomas. I wanted you, I needed you but you chose her. I waited for you patiently when you were fighting the fuckin' war, hoping you would come back to me but you didn't even look at me."

You pushed Tommy backwards, his weight surprisingly light as he almost stumbled backwards but regained his form. You moved away from him, pulling out a box of cigarettes from underneath your pillow as your fingers fumbled against the box to pull out a stick.

"You chose her, Tommy. Now who gives you the bloody right to just barge your way in here and try to claim me for yourself?" You hadn't realized when your lips had started trembling and hot tears had started skimming down your cheeks. Tommy let out a barely audible sigh as he brought his palms closer to your face, his reluctance to hold you pretty evident.

"I fucked up, I know that. You think I didn't fucking think about this? How you deserved to be happy after the fucking mess I put you through?" His voice was broken, his palms holding your face in his hefty fingers, cupping your cheeks.

"Well you didn't think well enough, Tommy." You whispered, almost choking on your sob.

"Love, I need you to give me a chance, to show you that I am a changed man, for you."

His statement caused you to flinch, your arms moving up to fix your hands on his palms that you shoved away, causing him to look at you with pain stricken eyes.

"You're mistaken, Tommy. Some people don't change. For anyone. And you haven't changed for me. You just realized I moved on and that is bloody bothering you." You croak.

You brought up the cigarette to your lips, inching the smoke and brought your hand down, moving two steps away from where he stood, his eyes burning a hole into yours.

"Tommy, we can't. We were never meant to be. You know it. Had Grace not left you, you wouldn't even think about me. I'm nothing but a second choice for you. And I refuse to be that." You forced yourself to look away, anywhere but his haunting blue eyes, the eyes that you knew could make you weak and destroy the wall you had built up around you. Bits of that wall had already started to crumble.

"So is this it, (Y/N)? Is this how we end?"

You looked up at him and realized that his eyes were moist. He brought up his hand to his face, pinching his nose and then ran his fingers through his obsidian hair.

You gave him a faint smile, lowering yourself against the edge of your bed as you brought up the cigarette to your lips once again, "We ended a long time ago, Tom. We ended the day you chose Grace."

Your words were like an arrow shot right through Tommy's heart, and at the same time, through your heart as well. It hurt you to see him, the man who never broke down in front of anyone, looking so lost, so forlorn, sitting by the edge of your bed next to you, his elbows resting against his knees, his face buried in his hands. You couldn't see his face, or his hidden eyes. Or he intentionally wanted to hide his weakness from you. You. You were his weakness.

Suddenly, he lifted his head up, craning it towards you so that he could get a better look of you and you saw his red, swollen eyes. He reached forward, slowly taking your hand in his, his fingers entwining with yours, reluctant at first, as he had expected you to pull your hand away. You didn't.

"You won't change your mind? Not even if I love you?" His voice was so raw, it made him the boy he had been to you, before the war had changed him.

You shook your head, slowly, squeezing his hand as he held on to it.

"It's too late for that, Tom. I have always loved you and you love me now –" Your words stopped at your throat, leaving you with your mouth agape, struggling to speak, " – but Chris is a good man, Tommy. He is a good man. I don't love him the way I have loved you but he was with me when I had no one to turn to, when I cried myself to bed at nights, while Grace kept your bed warm and mine was cold."

"Fuck." Tommy cursed, barely audible, looking down at the floor, his hand still holding yours, the grip tight, as though he was afraid of letting you go.

Finally, after what felt like ages of silence, which must have been a minute, he let go off your hand, your hand suddenly feeling numb and cold, due to the lack of his warmth. He stood up and cleared his throat, his eyes looking everywhere but into yours.

"Well then." He turned to look at you, which you felt was the last time. "Let me walk you down the aisle then, no matter how much it hurts me, I want to be the one to give you away."

"Jesus, Tommy –" You pressed your palm to your lips that were trembling uncontrollably now, not wanting to break down in front of him. Your tears caused him to clench his hands into fists, hanging loosely by his sides. When he could see those tears no more, he grabbed you by your arms, pushing you to the wall behind, your back hitting the wall with a thud, his hands placed on either side of you. You were taken by a surprise, your heart beating frantically inside your chest, so fast, it could have won over a fucking racehorse. Your gaze fell, unable to keep it fixed on his raging blue eyes.

"Look at me one last time then, before we go back to being strangers." His thumb came to rest on your cheek, stroking your skin in gentle strokes. Teary eyed, you rose your eyes, making them meet his once icy eyes, that had all the warmth reflecting in them.

"Let me kiss you one last time, love. For old times sake. The kiss we never got to experience, the one that should have fucking happened years ago." With that said, he took a step closer towards you, removing what little distance you both had left in front of each other, his arm snaking around your waist, pulling you closer, a weak yelp escaping your lips. You let your eyes close for a split second before craning your neck slightly upwards, your lips hovering directly over his plump ones as you brought them to his lips, giving him a bittersweet peck. Within seconds, what was meant as a peck turned into a raw and passionate kiss, mixed with the taste of your own salty tears, and probably his too. Finally, with much reluctance, you broke the kiss, placing a hand on Tommy's chest to keep him away from you and looked away as it was time for him to go.

"Goodbye Tommy, and try to stay out of danger." You gave him a weak smile, your deep longing for him and the pain it caused you hidden behind that fake smile of yours. Tommy took a step away from you and then another, reaching for his Blinders cap that was laying abandoned on the bed, lifting it up and flinging it to his head, all this while his eyes fixed on you.

With one last look, he walked up to your front door, his shoulders stiff, his hands clenched into fists by his side. When he reached the door, he paused for a bit, his hand grabbing your doorframe for support but he didn't turn to look at you.

"Don't let the fire fizzle out in you, love. It's this fire that I love about you, that makes you different. From anyone I ever met. It's this bloody fire that brings warmth to me. Don't let it fizzle out."

With that, he was gone. With that, you crashed to the floor, your knees scraping against the wooden floorboards as you let out the sobs that you had been holding in, like a tsunami.

Tommy meant what he said. It was Thomas Shelby that walked you down the aisle on the day of your wedding to Chris. He was there the entire time, seething, burning but had a smile etched to his face, watching the woman he loved get married to someone else. For the first time, he had voluntarily chosen to lose for you and maybe this was why you believed him when he said that he loved you.

It was on the day of your wedding that you realized Thomas Shelby really loved you, enough to watch you marry another man, just because you wanted to.

You blinked. The memory, although hazy, was still fresh in your mind. You turned to your left, your eyes falling on your one year old daughter sleeping soundly, her chest rising up and down as she slept. Chris died six months after your daughter, Rosemary was born. Influenza. Grace died, giving him a son, causing Thomas Shelby to marry Lizzie Starke, and you were happy for him. Neither of you met again.

You ran your fingers lightly over her tiny black hair, pushing them off her face.

"One day, when you are old enough, my love. I might tell you the truth of how I never loved your father. He was my friend and I loved him, but I was always in love with someone else. You are too young to understand, but I hope you find the man you truly love."

#tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinders #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader

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wecantseeyou · 3 years

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a word on color - how line of duty series 6 uses wardrobe color to frame narrative (pt 4)

Author’s note: this is the conclusion to my essay on wardrobe color and how it’s used to inform narrative in series 6 of line of duty. Previous parts can be found here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. This part covers episodes 5, 6, and 7. Heads up, my analysis of episode 7 is actually quite short because of my focus on Jo, but I have many, MANY thoughts on Kate’s second to last scene and the general wardrobe choices for Kate in this episode.

Thank you to everyone who has been willing to entertain my ramblings here. While I have a background in theatrical production, this kind of meta analysis was quite new for me. I was relieved to see (most) of this theory actualized in the finale. Now, this part is nearly 8k words, all four parts together clocked in at over 20k words and nearly 40 pages, single-spaced, so I’ve officially written a third dissertation (after the other two took me 10 months…).

Regular warnings apply: I’m American and therefore may be missing certain cultural context. Spoilers abound, but I stick to Jo’s storyline for the most part, and don’t include my thoughts about the finale writ large (I may write an analysis of the series 6 storytelling separate from this, if there’s interest).

Read on below the cut.

EPISODE 5

Episode 5 opens with Lomax briefing Jo and Kate about connections between the armed robbery and Gail Vella's murder, showing them results for an industrial estate that matches the description given by one of the robbers. Jo is wearing the same outfit she ended episode 4 in, the orangish brown sweater and navy suit, while Kate is wearing a grey jacket over a white shirt, buttoned all the way up. A side note - this grey jacket does not fit in with the rest of the wardrobe Kate has been in all series, and from a meta perspective, this is because they have to conceal the firearm Kate is now carrying. Ryan watches from the other room, again in a call back to the way Jo was watching Kate in episode 3. Kate tries to talk to Jo, but she's quickly brushed off, much to Kate's chagrin.

Jo’s outfit, which we’ve seen her in numerous times, again demonstrates her pull between what’s right and pressure from the OCG. After all, Ryan has just threatened her twice. She knows that the investigation is heading in the right direction, which she both wants and is afraid of, and she is panicking. At the same time, she’s wary of letting Kate get too close lest she suspect something and acts on it, putting them both in danger.

Kate’s outfit actually shows some of that forced distance Jo is causing. We’ve seen her wear a white shirt buttoned all the way to the top once before - when she spoiled the raid of MIT by AC-12. That outfit showed her pull between Jo and AC-12, and we’re seeing that here again. This time though, the grey jacket shows that she’s leaning AC-12.

We see this in the next scene where Steve, in his grey suit with a white shirt and red tie, is directly paralleling his former partner’s wardrobe. Kate visits AC-12, and it's been revealed that she has permission to carry a concealed firearm because of the threat Ryan Pilkington poses. Now, call me crazy, but I believe we’re meant to understand he’s a threat to her at least in part because of her relationship to Jo, but I’m uncertain. When Ted asks for an update, Kate notes that Jo has become "cold and distant" toward her, and the team reveals Jo has been put under surveillance, which Kate isn't happy about. It's then revealed that Jo is related to Tommy Hunter (from series 1 and 2) through incest, which is of course horrifying, though we don’t know the full story of it quite yet.

Back at her apartment, Jo checks the laptop to find out the OCG won't let her go because of AC-12's continued investigation, which she promises to take care of. She’s surrounded by her blue flat, in her navy and orange outfit, her actions and heart still at conflict with one another. She’s distraught, and stuck.

Later, Kate and Steve meet in an underground car park in their matching navy coats. Steve shares that Lakewell gave him information off the record, which is that Gail Vella had been looking into the death of Lawrence Christopher at the time of her death. He also tells Kate about his discovery that Hastings gave Steph Corbett the missing $50k of supposed bribe money (from series 5). The former partners match here because they are coming closer to being full partners again, working in tandem and trusting one another with information. They have been at odds this series, particularly when it comes to Jo, but they have remained on the same page in their disappointment in the gaffer and belief in finding justice for Gail Vella.

Back at MIT, Kate is looking into the industrial parks that may hold an OCG workshop. As she researches, she repeatedly looks over at Jo in her office and seems to have an idea. She then steps out of the office and calls Steve, though we don’t see the details of their conversation. Kate returns to the office and goes into Jo's office, telling her that they may have found the OCG workshop. She asks to brief the team immediately to avoid leaks, which Jo allows while glancing out at the bullpen. We can see once Kate leaves that she was looking at Ryan, who is watching her closely.

We don't know it yet, but Kate has found a way to test Jo’s loyalty and her belief that Jo isn’t bent. She tells the team about 1 location, makes them hand up their phones (which pisses them all off), and Jo makes them all stay within the MIT offices just as Ryan is about to step out. As the briefing ends, Kate goes to Jo’s office once more and demands to speak with her, despite Jo’s rude and annoyed response.

It’s later revealed that Kate then tells Jo there are 3 total locations to be looked at, but they’re starting with just one. Meanwhile, AC-12 surveillance teams are stationed at all three locations to see if people are tipped off and by who.

In these scenes, Kate is wearing a navy suit with a light blue shirt buttoned to the top, while Jo is wearing a grey suit with a grey turtleneck. For both women, the high necklines that fully encircle their throats indicates their discomfort and their desire to have a wall up for their own protection. We see Kate in all blue as she’s on a crusade to prove the truth - Jo isn’t bent, and this will reveal who is (as she suspects Ryan). Jo, meanwhile, is uncertain, and her monochrome grey outfit reflects that. Normally, this is the type of thing she would be expected to tip off to the OCG (as she did with Carl Banks), but Kate has cleverly made it so she can’t. She’s trying to push Kate away, but Kate keeps pushing herself right back in. She’s meant to be wary of Ryan, but she stopped him from an opportunity to send out a warning - and that’s before she knew there were three potential locations. All Jo knows is that she wants out from this lie and constant threat she’s lived under. She’s in all grey, not true blue but certainly not a warm tone, because she hasn’t decided what her next step is yet. Temporarily neutral.

The initial raid is not a success, so Jo informs the team that they'll move on to the other locations instead, revealing that she and Kate did not give them all of the information. Lomax is pissed off, and directs that anger at Kate. From his perspective, the boss just told them she doesn’t trust him or the team and treated them all like a potential rat, and he chalks that up to the former AC-12 officer’s involvement. In an interesting parallel, Jo and Kate are wearing the same outfits under their body armor that we saw them in during the raid in the first episode - Jo in her black jacket and Kate in her green jacket.

During this raid, Ryan snuck out to call in the danger to the OCG from a burner phone, an act which was recorded by Chloe “the only real detective” Bishop. Steve, at the real OCG workshop, rushes in with his team which results in the deaths of two suspects. Jo and the MIT team arrive on the scene not long after, and Jo and Steve come to disagreement over jurisdiction, and she ultimately forces him to stand down using her rank (which we’ll see her flex once more later in the episode). I have to say, I have loved watching Jo and Steve come to blows in this series in part because Jo is so much better at it than he is. Steve truly has been Jo’s foil, contradicting her at every point. We see this even in their clothes in this scene. While Jo is wearing a grey turtleneck (typically in the AC-12 color palette), it is hidden under her black jacket, and Steve is wearing a blue shirt under his body armor. On the visual face, they appear to be working at opposite ends to one another, and in this moment they are.

Back at AC-12, Kate debriefs the team on what happened and let's them in on the honey trap* (*not really) Kate set for Jo, which she didn't fall for (but Pilkington did). The team is taken aback, and Hastings points out how risky a move that was. "As far as I'm concerned, that's proof she's not bent," Kate replies, stubborn to the end. Steve has a different interpretation - Jo assigned herself to the raid on the location with the workshop, and took control of the crime scene from him. "That doesn't fit with what I've witnessed firsthand. I needed to know one way or another." Kate will not back down from her staunch belief that Jo is not bent, an unfortunate foreshadow to Jo’s eventual betrayal. Hastings sides with Steve, but Kate clearly still disagrees. However, Steve does believe Ryan should be removed from MIT, even as Hastings wants to keep him there. This raises their suspicions because Kate had originally talked the gaffer out of bringing Ryan in, but the reality of the matter is that Ted feels he’s on a ticking clock with his forced retirement, and wants to handle this fourth man situation before he goes.

Kate and Steve are again in coordinated outfits here, dressed head to toe in blue. We’ve seen this before, the former partners in clothes that parallel one another while seemingly at odds. Sadly, this is because they’re again both right about Jo. She is using her position (and even Kate’s trust) to manipulate the investigation, but that manipulation stems from fear for her own safety as she herself is being manipulated and doesn’t want to do what she’s done. She’s like a cat stuck in a box - bent and not bent.

On the Hill, Kate gives the team the low down on the OCG warehouse and their next steps. Jo congratulates the team and tells them to get to work collecting forensic evidence while Pilkington sends laser eyes her way. This time it’s Kate wearing a turtleneck, this one in black under an olive suit jacket, while Jo wears a grey suit with a grey-green sweater and a blue shirt buttoned all the way to the top. Again, the high necks of these outfits demonstrate the discomfort and reservedness both women are feeling, but we also see a subtle connection with the green tints of their clothes. As usual, green represents the pull between two different compelling interests. For Kate, the pull between Jo and AC-12, for Jo the pull between Kate and the OCG.

Wearing these same outfits, Jo catches up with Kate outside of Hillside, where she confronts her about AC-12's knowledge of the raids. Kate tells her she tipped them off because they're making a lawful inquiry. "Look, I'm telling you the truth Jo, because I trust you with it." Jo takes advantage of Kate sharing the information with AC-12 and tells Kate to put in a transfer request, saying, "I wouldn't want to harm your career, Kate. It's best if you request a transfer." Kate is taken aback and asks "You've been distant with me for days. Is this personal?" Jo denies this, pulling rank the same way she did with Steve, "I'm your senior officer, I should be distant." Kate seems confused and concerned with her response of "But I thought we were friends. What's happening here?" And here we see Jo’s fear crack through her irritation, just for a moment, when she says, "So you can tell AC-12?" As much as Jo is pushing Kate away in order to get her out of the picture, she also has a real fear that Kate continuing to share information with Steve will get Jo killed. She’s playing up Kate’s betrayal to explain her anger, but she’s also hurt and she wants her to know that. Jo trusts Kate, even if she doesn’t trust her enough to tell her the truth on her own. Up until this point, Kate has worked with her and told her about AC-12’s work, even helping her get a leg up on Steve. Now Kate’s helping AC-12 get a leg up on her.

But Kate is nothing if not determined. "No, I wouldn't tell them personal stuff." Kate refuses to take the transfer, and Jo leaves in frustration and anxiety, leaving Kate confused yet again.

Back at Jo's flat, she's on the OCG laptop again. She tells the user she can handle AC-12, but they claim she can't because of Fleming. Jo tries to ask for more time to sort it, but time's up. "Get rid of her." Get rid of Kate, the last person Jo trusts, the one who just broke her trust.

And here is Jo’s betrayal. "As long as it's my last job." She looks devastated after she sends it, and she is. What she’s about to do is unforgivable. But scared and vulnerable people often do unforgivable things to save themselves. Jo just wants to be free, and she’s willing to pay a price for freedom.

Steve, in his iconic grey suit and navy tie, goes to visit Ian Banks in prison and learns that Ted is the one that disclosed John Corbett's identity that later got him killed. He later calls Kate to tell her the news. Matching Steve, Kate is in a navy shirt, but is wearing a black suit, only the second time we’ve seen her in this suit. The first was in episode 2, when she gave Jo the information about AC-12 and they later had dinner together.

Kate heads back into Hillside after her conversation with Steve and runs into Jo in the hallway, who asks to meet with her outside of work to discuss their 'personal issues'. Jo specifically looks at officers further down the hall to confirm they're leaving before speaking to Kate. She also lowers her voice at her own mention of personal issues, adding an extra layer of privacy to an already empty hall.

Checking to make sure there alone is something that Jo and Kate have done frequently throughout this series. In the handhold scene, they break apart when officers step into the hall. They mention how it’s easier to talk outside of work during both of their dinner scenes. When Kate tells Jo about Ryan’s spying, she dismisses Chris first, and later in that conversation when Jo puts her hand on Kate’s arm, they pull apart when they hear officers approaching.

Kate is surprised at Jo’s sudden change in behaviour from the past few days, but she agrees to meet with Jo after work. As Jo walks away, Kate clearly knows that something is up with her, but seems willing to find out what it is when they speak.

What Kate is sadly unaware of is that Jo walks away to lock herself in the bathroom and have a breakdown, distraught at the machination she has set in motion against Kate. Her hand shakes as she locks the stall, she falls to the ground, she looks around desperately for salvation. Jo’s mask, one that she maintains so strictly, falls for just a moment (not dissimilar to her breakdown in her car after framing Farida). Thirty seconds in a toilet stall to breakdown, to think about the consequences of her actions, about what she’s done to Kate. But she takes a few deep breaths, wipes away her tears, and we watch as her mask slips back into place.

Back at AC-12, Chloe “my back is worse than Steve’s from carrying this investigation” Bishop has uncovered more about the racist gang that attacked Lawrence Christopher, including the investigators, Buckells and the current Chief Constable. This was the story Gail Vella was looking into when she was murdered, and appears to be the reason for her death. Steve is wearing the same grey suit and navy tie as when he spoke with Kate, and while he’s grateful for Chloe for digging everything up, he’s also concerned that the young Black woman had to learn so many details about the lynching of a young Black man. [Note: to be incredibly clear, the death of Lawrence Christopher as described by the script was a lynching, and the narrative did not do enough to reckon with that fact for anything more than relevance to the global racial justice uprisings reborn in late May of 2020. More than willing to discuss this further if anyone cares for my thoughts.] As they discuss the case, Patty Carmichael walks in with gusto (and damn if that voice isn't an incredible acting choice). She’s taking over AC-12, and she’s cancelling the surveillance on Jo and Ryan.

That night, Kate arrives at Frederico's to meet Jo, who calls her the moment she’s locked her car to ask to meet somewhere less public, for claims of privacy. Kate is immediately on alert, especially after her attempts to convince Jo to stick with the original plan. But after a small plea from Jo, she acquiesces, but not without caution. Kate immediately knows something is off - this is not how Jo interacts with her. Little do we know, Pilkington is skulking in Jo's backseat, coaching her actions.

As an aside, this is also the only time we see them meeting out of work while they're both wearing casual clothes, not just the clothes they wore to the office.

Kate drives to the lorry park and calls Steve, because she's both an idiot and a genius. He’s wearing the same suit as before, grey with a navy tie. She learns that surveillance was pulled on Jo and Ryan, and explains Jo's odd behaviour, forwarding him the address. Unfortunately, their conversation is cut short by Carmichael, which immediately sets Kate on high alert and she ends the call. Just as Kate is about to leave, Jo pulls into the lot, and the tension escalates.

Steve receives the address and immediately informs Hastings and Chloe, ordering the team to get a unit ready. The team starts to rush out and Carmichael asks for calm, which Ted isn't gonna do when one of his people is in danger. AC-12 isn’t about to let Kate down.

At the lorry park, a distraught Jo gets out of her car and approaches Kate’s car. Kate tries to convince Jo to go somewhere else, but all Jo can say is that she's sorry. Kate is confused, but that goes away pretty quickly once an armed bent bastard steps out of Jo's car. He gloats to Kate, saying "Jo wanted to give you a way out. Should've put in for that transfer." Kate tries to convince Ryan to put the gun down, that the authorities will find him, but it doesn't work. Which is when Kate makes a gamble - she tells Ryan about the surveillance on him and Jo. Ryan tries to blame Jo for their situation, but she acts none the wiser (even though Kate told her about Ryan’s surveillance in the previous episode).

"Why would she come here otherwise?"

Sure, Jo is playing down her relationship with Kate for Ryan’s sake, but it isn’t quite that simple. Jo doesn't want to believe Kate had any faith in her. She wants to believe she was pretending, because she has no faith in herself. Her reaction does provide enough of a distraction for Kate to be able to pull her own weapon, and the most tense standoff ever begins...

One of the most key color choices of any outfits so far on the show are the clothes Jo and Kate wear to the lorry park where Jo sets up Kate to be killed by Ryan. Jo is wearing her grey coat, a blue sweatshirt, and a red top. Kate is wearing a blue coat, and a blue striped sweater with a band of red in the middle. These two outfits are ultimately the thesis statement between these two women. Jo is wearing red as her last layer, the one closest to her, but is surrounded by cool tones through her sweatshirt and coat. Meanwhile, Kate’s sweater has a stripes of red and orange surrounded by shades of blue.

But it doesn’t matter that Kate is being visually connected to Jo, because Jo is about to be responsible for her death via Ryan ‘the bent bastard’ Pilkington.

EPISODE 6

Nevermind though, no death for our beloved Kate!

Now, I’m going to take the next parts of the episode slightly out of order in order to tackle Kate and Jo together before their ultimate confrontation with Steve and AC-12. First, a run down of the AC-12 crew: Hastings is in full uniform, which represents his ultimate faith in the system, despite the bad actors and groups that try to destroy it. Carmichael is wearing a grey coat, aligning her with anti-corruption, but it’s piped along the edges with red, which shows how she’s opposed to AC-12 (though not necessarily corrupt). Steve is in his classic blue on blue on blue under his body armor, which shows his dedication to justice and also his faith in Kate. Carmichael confronts him directly about Kate’s whereabouts, which he fastidiously denies having any knowledge of, but unfortunately Hastings is forced to admit that Kate was permitted to carry a concealed firearm for safety. Steve doesn’t trust Carmichael, and this is shown back at the office when he tracks what Patty C is up to, mobilizing Hastings when she’s on the move.

At first glance, Kate and Jo’s red and blue outfits read as a visual metaphor for AC-12 closing in on their location, but I posit that these outfits are also indicative of Kate's belief in Jo, despite her anger that Jo has just set up her death. It’s clear at this point that their simple flirty banter from the beginning of the season has evolved into a deeper connection, which is part of what makes Jo’s betrayal so painful - Kate has been on her side the whole time. Jo just didn’t know it. [note: wrote this before the finale so guess who has egg on her face now…]

After a time jump (of nearly two hours, based on someone else’s analysis of time stamps and radio calls), Kate and Jo arrive at Steve's apartment. Jo asks if Steve can be trusted, and Kate leaves no doubt. Jo also asks why the surveillance got pulled, and Kate informs her about the chief and Carmichael. Jo denies having any part of it, but Kate isn't sure if she can believe her given the whole, you know, attempted murder thing. In a desperate bid to prove her loyalty to Kate, Jo asks for her gun, intentionally putting her prints on the murder weapon. Again, their coordinating outfits are the outward manifestation of their connection. Kate, while still angry, seems to accept what Jo is offering to her, but is clearly trying to maintain distance in the moment.

Jo then tries to see if things between them were real, but Kate refuses to entertain the conversation. What Jo is completely unaware of at this point is the lengths to which Kate has gone to prove that Jo isn't bent, up to and including risking a crucial raid on the OCG workshop. To Kate, it's a question that doesn't need to be asked, [the egg on my face remains] but Kate is also in disbelief that Jo would question her feelings when she's the one who was nearly killed by Jo. It’s an inappropriate time to have this discussion, and Kate lets that be known. They find Steve's personal car, a slate grey Mazda because this show is nothing if not subtle with its vehicular choices - even their personal vehicles tie in to their allegiance with AC-12’s mission.

Driving in Steve's car, Jo asks again if Kate was pretending with Jo, and Kate diverts the conversation away from herself. Was Jo lying to her when she hired Kate because she was ex-anti-corruption? No, she was hoping Kate, with her anti-corruption background, would stop her. Would save her, really. They discuss Jo's ongoing work for the OCG, and Jo's fear that she'll be killed if she turns, just like Tommy. She insists that she's not bent and Kate implores her to prove it.

Kate is pissed [for the non-Americans, she’s very angry, not drunk…] in this scene, as she should be. She believed in Jo, she still believes in Jo, but she betrayed her in a major way. And now, when Kate is sticking her neck out for Jo again, she's still too scared to reveal what she knows. Jo does reveal that Tommy was her uncle, and that her father was a bent cop, which of course doesn’t align with what Kate knows. At Kate's further insistence, Jo directs them toward Gail Vella's house, and finally to the old print shop the OCG had used in the past that is across from Terry Boyle’s flat.

Kate and Jo arrive at the print shop, and Jo is finally about to reveal the truth to Kate. This act, coupled with putting her prints on the gun, earns Jo back a little bit of the trust she lost, and this is shown when the two women share the same shot. Most of the scenes between Jo and Kate have been over the shoulder shots where one woman is the primary focus, and this scene pivots to end with both of them together as the focus. This change happens in time with Kate dropping some of her much-deserved hostility toward the other woman.

But before they can step out of the car, flashing lights and sirens appear behind them - they've been found. The fact that they've been tracked shocks Kate, but she spends no time dwelling as she throws the car into drive and speeds away. AC-12 AFOs have set up an intercept point, which Kate ignores in a truly badass handbrake turn, no matter if it makes any sense that they could have possibly known the route Kate would take in order to set up a kind of road block.

Handbrake turn or no, the Mazda has been intercepted and Kate and Jo are stuck. Kate is still confused that they've been found, but Jo knows the jig is up and tells Kate she's going to say she forced her to drive. It isn't until Jo tells her they have no other choice that Kate gets out of the car. Once out, Jo puts her hands up, but Kate refuses. Just then, AC-12 arrives with Carmichael, and Kate is in shock. "Jesus Christ, Steve's in on it" - cut to Jo's panicked face. This is the man Kate said they could trust, and now he's after them too.

What follows is a very tense standoff between the two fleeing detectives and AC-12. Jo surrenders, but Kate refuses. First Carmichael tries, then Hastings (at which point Kate tells Jo she learned some shady stuff about him), and then finally Steve walks up to them. Jo begs Kate to surrender repeatedly, but the DI believes she’s onto her second major betrayal of the night and she isn’t willing to give in that easily. She thought she could trust Jo, and she nearly killed her, and to her mind she trusted Steve and he turned her over to Carmichael.

Kate is prepared to tear him a new asshole, but he swears up and down that he has no idea how they got tracked, he wouldn't do that to her. Once he promises to get the two women into safety, Kate surrenders. As he walks them in, Kate shared Ryan's confession of murder and Jo's clue about the print shop. To the end, Kate believes in justice and will pursue it.

We then see a disillusioned Kate in her all grey Fruit of the Loom being walked into her jail cell. She sits down on the plastic mattress, looking at a total loss.

Later that night, Steve and Hastings are discussing the events of the previous few hours. Steve is in a grey suit with a blue shirt and tie, same as he had been wearing during the chase. The gaffer questions why Steve didn't tell him about Kate, and Steve claims it was to prevent putting him in a difficult position with Patty C, who walks in with the same question. Apparently, the former partners have keys to each other's houses and vehicles, in case of emergency. Carmichael taking Steve's phone would've read to Kate as an emergency. Steve refuses to back down, and she appears to drop it for the moment.

Now, onto Jo’s interrogation. A lot happens in this thirty minute scene, but to boil down to the important points: Jo is wearing her best Fruit of the Loom, stripping her of her identity and any affiliations she has. The lighting in this scene is cold and sterile, completely cool in tone. Steve sits with Carmichael and Hastings on the other side of the table, dressed in a navy suit, white shirt, and red tie.

Something very important to note in this scene is Jo’s reliance on Steve. He speaks with her gently, acknowledges her pain, and encourages her to be truthful even when it is clearly very difficult. She takes Kate’s trust in him at face value and decides to trust him too. His outfit actually reflects this truth. He’s wearing the same red and blue that Kate and Jo wore while they were on the run - blue surrounds the red. As much as Jo is trusting Steve here because of Kate, Steve is being kind to Jo here for the same reason. His partner and friend does the right thing nearly always - if she was willing to go to these lengths to defend Jo, he owes it to her to learn the truth. Nothing exemplifies this more than when the conversation turns to Pilkington’s death.

Jo refuses to answer at first and actually waits for AC-12 to show its hand first. She notices that Steve hesitates when Carmichael instructs him to talk about the evidence regarding Kate's gun, and she realizes this is her in, this is how she can prove herself to Kate once and for all. It's only after this that she claims to have shot Pilkington and completely shifts the blame from Kate to herself. This catches both Steve and Hastings up, and they react in obvious shock, which changes how Hastings treats her through the rest of the interview and cements Steve’s belief in Kate’s trust. Afterwards, she looks to Steve, who nods. He understands what she just did for Kate, and Jo is relieved to see his comprehension. The questioning continues, and Jo only admits to what she can take direct responsibility for, but nothing that involves the larger network.

Once Carmichael and Hastings leave, she quickly turns to Steve and says a desperate "I'm so sorry." Sorry for hiding evidence in Operation Lighthouse. Sorry for framing Farida. Sorry for what she’s done to Kate.

And Steve, gentle when he can be, gives her a kind "Yeah, me too," in reply. I’m sorry you were groomed into the OCG. I’m sorry you were scared for your life. I’m sorry you hurt Kate, too.

Patty C goes to talk to Kate, and lets her know she won't be charged for Ryan's murder - Jo will be. Kate has a look of relief on her face as she processes the information. But Patty C notes Jo isn't firearms trained, and Kate is. She's telling Kate she knows what really happened, and she's letting it slide. This time. Kate is well aware that Carmichael isn’t stupid - she knows Jo was lying and is only letting Kate get away with it because it better serves her interests. Kate is free, and she sighs with relief and the knowledge of what Jo did.

Steve, still in the same outfit from the interview, and Kate, in a navy pea coat and yellow sweater, meet in an underground car park. once she's been released. A quick note on Kate’s coat: I’d love to say there’s a deeper meaning for the shift in her coat, but I genuinely think it’s just because filming was originally in the spring, then was moved to the fall and continued until November, so it was simply colder. The cut and color of the coat are generally the same, despite the style changing.

Steve offers to lend an ear about the shooting, and then Kate asks about Jo's interview. Steve tells her they didn't get enough information out of her, and Kate tells him that Jo told her that her dad was an officer. "She's scared, Steve. After what happened to Tommy, Dot, Lakewell, nevermind John Corbett". Kate’s anger seems to have dissipated at least a little at this point, because here she is, defending Jo by explaining why she wasn’t forthcoming with a lot of information. This is most obvious through her yellow sweater - still affiliated with Jo, even through everything else. Steve lets her know that Jo is in a secure cell with extra monitoring, which seems to appease her. Kate then informs him she's been made SIO at MIT, and will guarantee cooperation with AC-12. Lomax calls Kate, and the two partners are back working together.

Kate and Steve meet Lomax at the OCG workshop, where he goes over the forensic findings so far as MIT’s resident plot reciter. Kate tells him they need to look further, and orders him to dig up the floor, ruining the poor man’s plans for the evening.

Chloe calls Steve with an update on Thurwell. Then we get a weird scene of darkvision Spanish police apprehending Thurwell. Truly hate it. He's dead. It's a deadend. Clever writing, Jed.

The episode ends with Jo in her navy blue jumper being put into her cell at Brentiss. Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, Lindsay Denton’s besties, walk up threateningly before Jo is led into her cell and the door is shut. I do love the shot here of Jo through the door, caught in a small tight space that’s almost closing in on her.

EPISODE 7

Before I fully jump into Episode 7, please be aware that I am doing a textual analysis. I’m not going to go into the fourth man reveal and its logic or even greater meaning (particularly because I’m looking at this show from a different political context as an American), and I’m not going to speculate on things not seen, at least in this analysis, because the focus is on wardrobe. You can trust I have many thoughts, particularly around race and the writing around female characters, some of which I’ve included but most of which I did not. It took me 9 full days to write everything for this one episode, and was shockingly exhausting. Forgive me if it doesn’t live up to my other ramblings.

We’ll jump right into things. I'm gay but Steve looks so good here in his AC-12 uniform. Anyways, Steve is watching Hastings' old interview with Carmichael about Ian Banks. His concern about Hastings is clear. He’s in pursuit of justice, even if justice puts him up against the gaffer.

Later, Steve and Kate discuss the gaffer and his suspicious behaviour, and he informs her that Ted is slated for retirement. Steve wants to let it go, but Kate refuses. She asks if Steph Corbett knows anything more, and suggests she may be blackmailing Hastings, but Steve is dismissive of it. This causes Kate to raise an eyebrow - oh god Steve's done it again. Steve pleads "It's not like that, mate, it's different," and Kate has never looked more disbelieving and annoyed. She responds, "She's a person of interest,” and their conversation is cut short when Chris calls Kate with an update. Steve is still in his navy suit, and Kate in her yellow sweater. The lack of coordination in these clothes show Kate isn’t quite on the same page as Steve yet, but they’re getting there.

Lomax tells them there was a case found in the floor of the workshop, much like the one holding Gail Vella's computers at the abandoned print shop that Jo led them to. No comment on the OCG’s evidence techniques.

Steve, who kept skipping his occupational health warnings, is in therapy. I didn't cover the OH stuff throughout this analysis since it didn't relate to Jo, but this manages to tie in later so here it is now. It ends in him agreeing to temporarily give up his firearms license. I'm not going to discuss the rest of the meeting, given that Steve seemed to kick his pill addiction and reliance on alcohol and pain relievers to deal with his back pretty damn quickly and it's a storyline of entirely no relevance except as something Ted holds over Steve in a moment of manipulation later. Steve also admits this to Hastings before Occupational Health can tell him. This entire storyline is frustrating. Moving on!

Kate is watching Jo's AC-12 interview at her desk on the Hill, specifically rewinding to parts concerning who Jo believed her father was. She pauses it on a frame of Jo’s face, the terror clear. Kate is dressed in a black suit and a light blue shirt, back on the side of AC-12 and in pursuit of justice, not only with regard to the OCG, but for Gail Vella and Jo.

Steph calls Steve again, and he ignores it, because he's being a bit of a dick. Then he steps out of his car and has a back spasm. This only comes up so Kate can ask about it later and show that Steve, wearing a blue jacket, listened to what she said about getting close to a person of interest. Would truly love to know why Steve parks by an underpass by a river for this scene, but needs must, I guess.

Back at Hillside, another Lomax briefing! Because Chris, Chloe, and sometimes Kate are truly the only people who do any detecting in the entire series!!! Anyways, Chris tells Steve and Kate about the contents of the box under the floor of the workshop. Conveniently, it held four murder weapons (can Jed Mercurio spell deus ex machina?) and neatly tied a bow on Corbett, Bindra, and Vella's deaths, and in a nice series 1 throwback, Jackie Laverty's murder! Kate is wearing a grey turtleneck which coordinates beautifully with Steve’s grey suit, blue tie, and blue shirt. This shows that they’re back on the same page and on the same team, despite their ups and downs this series.

Kate and Steve return to AC-12, where Kate in her new navy pea coat shares that the proceedings against Terry Boyle will be stopped. Except, to my knowledge, Jo already handled that...? They literally made a point of it in her interview. Anyway, Chloe, like Chris, did all the detective work and tells them that the IP of the OCG laptop is in the UK, not Spain as previously believed. Amanda from forensics, the only other person who does any real work, interrupts with a message that shows Jo is about to be targeted. Definitely is spelled wrong. I give up. They feel the need to spell out what JD and BP mean, but spend 3 episodes never explaining what a CHIS is. Sure. Chloe is tasked with finding the fourth man via spelling.

Also I'm truly not being funny by why is Kate on the investigation board in AC-12. Like. What. Was she a suspect? She’s not with the other victims!

A very forlorn Jo in her blue Brentiss jumpsuit is sitting in her prison cell before being collected for transport to Hillside. Jo is very aware that something must be wrong because she’s a damn fine detective. She's mad suspicious as they head out to the van, and lo and behold, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are on the transport team.

En route to Brentiss, they learn that Lomax and Kate's signatures were forged on the production order for Jo. Meanwhile, Jo is too smart for her own good, and questions the guard during the transport about the requesting officer. Tweedle Dee plays dumb.

And then… nothing happens. They intercepted the van in advance, removed Jo, and planted Steve and Kate on the van. Because Steve is such a great choice what with his being an UNARMED OFFICER AT THE TIME. They arrest everyone. Steve ends up with a gun. Ok.

In an interrogation room, Kate and Steve explain what happened to Jo. Hastings looks on. Kate tells Jo she can apply to witness protection, and that all of her notes will show that she was under coercion from others, giving her a shot at the life she never had, but only if she reveals who the top man is, aka her father. Jo begins to cry, and Steve reminds her those OCG men were sent to kill her - this man doesn't care for her. Jo begins to tell them that she had no reason to believe Tommy was lying to her, all while speaking only to Kate. Steve encourages her further, telling her she's not bent. Kate asks her one last time for the name, and we see Jo resolve to say something before the scene cuts. Heaven forbid we show something happening instead of faking built suspense.

Now, I need to pause here for a small moment of rage. Kate should have been the one who got the call back line by telling Jo she's not bent. Not for any romantic reason, but because their little run from the police stunt was done at least in part under the auspices that Jo could prove to Kate that she wasn't bent. In fact, Kate pleads with Jo to do so. It's just frustrating, and gives Steve an emotional beat he hasn't truly earned with Jo, or at least hasn’t earned as much as Kate.

And Jo gives them a name! They search a prison cell, and find nothing. It's really built up to seem like it's Fairbank, who is revealed to be a confused old dude. Why Jo thought she was communicating with him this entire time is simply never addressed. Whatever. They ask about the murders and cover ups, and he offers nothing. Kate asks about Jo, and after some more pushing, Fairbank implicitly agrees that he and Tommy Hunter convinced Jo he was her father. Hastings is pissed, but Chloe calls to save the day (again).

Chloe "I should be Chief Constable" Bishop brings the team up to speed on the text search for incorrect spellings of the word definitely. Which they've apparently managed to do in a matter of hours, even on handwritten reports from 17 years prior! Because Jed has definitely never needed to do a text analysis by hand before. They then proceed to NEVER NAME THE SUSPECT. FOR 1 MINUTE AND 10 SECONDS.

Oh but don't worry, because this is the perfect opportunity for our realigned partners to confront Hastings about the bribe money and his conversations with Ian Banks. Can't reveal who the fourth man is when the head of the investigation is also a bent cop, silly audience. And it's revealed that Ted leaked Corbett as a UCO because of Corbett's role in the attack on Hastings' wife. But it's okay because he's sorry about it!

To be hella clear: Hastings, an anti-corruption officer who prides himself on following the letter of the law, took actions he knew would result in the death of John Corbett and Kate later forgives him for it. Jo was under threat of death from the OCG and tried to get rid of Kate via transfer and then led her to an empty lorry park to be killed while she thought Ryan was under surveillance that could likely intervene, and we in no way see Kate react to that experience in this episode. Cool!

Finally, we get the interview with the fourth man, which is revealed 8 minutes and 32 seconds after the characters themselves learn the information. For some reason unknown to God or man, Kate is there despite not being involved in Buckells' case since she works for MIT, not AC-12. Frankly, not gonna delve into it. Kate is wearing a sweater we've yet to see her in, a blue crew neck that is frankly more feminine than anything we've seen this series so far, and moreso matches what she's worn in previous series. It’s unsettling. Steve is in his classic AC-12 uniform.

Just a quick q for the kids at home - if Buckells only ever communicated with people via a secure browser on burner devices, how in the hell did he get a laptop in prison? Also, why did he not break himself out of prison by having someone else plant evidence of some kind, especially since he supposedly had a lot to blackmail Jo with?

At what I can only assume is their local, Steve and Kate congratulate themselves on doing nothing beyond sit in interview rooms to catch Buckells. Kate might go back to AC-12 - even though she left because of the gaffer's actions which turned out to be WAY WORSE THAN SHE PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED? Sure, Jed. They have a chat about what's been happening with Steve and his painkiller addiction. Kate implies he should drive up to Liverpool to see Steph, which he doesn't think is a good idea. But don't worry, they've got each other, mate. Platonic soulmates forever (no romantic underscoring in this analysis).

And then, with no previous discussion in the script or even telegraphing by the camera, Kate is in therapy. Which is great, because she truly needs it, girl has been through a lot. She mentions her ex, and Josh who is apparently her reason for living but she's texted about him once and mentioned him offhand to Jo to tell her he'd be with her ex, and then her great friend and partner, Steve (which is true, but the romantic framing is gross and out of character).

Not being funny, Kate is wearing a truly horrendous mauve top here, over a white shirt. We've never seen her in a color like this, it doesn't fit in with the rest of the color palette in her wardrobe, up to and including all of the orange and brown she wore at MIT. It's honestly frumpy, and in no way aligns with the characterization shown to us through her wardrobe in the rest of the series. The last time we do see her in an outfit like that is during the interview with Jo. Jo left and took Kate's excellent sense of style with her.

Kate and Steve meet with Patty to discuss Darren Hunter's involvement in the murder of Lawrence Christopher, and discuss how there's more corrupt officers to be uncovered. Patty C isn't gonna do anything about that tho. Hastings strolls up to chat with Patty C, and we learn that Buckells will get immunity. The trio are about to leave when Ted storms back into her office to confess to his actions leading to John Corbett's death. He gets one more speech about carrying the fire and bad apples in policing before they all leave.

For the final outfits we may ever see them in, Hastings is wearing a blue shirt, Steve is wearing a grey suit, white shirt, and green tie, and Kate is in a white turtleneck with a navy pea coat. Again, this turtleneck is more effeminate than anything we’ve seen her in this series. Hell, even Patty C is wearing blue to show she’s aligned with anti-corruption and just kind of a bitch, not actually corrupt.

Finally, to the blessed epilogue. Shoutout to Terry and Farida for getting some closure to the bullshit they’ve been through.

Jo steps out of her little stone cottage in the country, dressed in a casual sweater of grey and blue, breathing in the fall air deeply. Her layers of clothing are gone, her hair is down and soft. Her Icelandic sweater shows that she��s finally free to honor her heart, and no longer feels trapped by her family and who she thought they were.

And then, a dog trots out after her, and we see Jo bend down to hug the retriever and kiss its head. This is the most free affection we have ever seen Jo give. A set of legs appear in the doorway behind her, and a redheaded woman steps out of the cottage to meet Jo and the dog. Jo smiles at her, oh so freely after the tension she carried for 21 years, and they clasp hands, walking down the country road away from their home. Because Jo is free, and she can freely love and live without fear in her new life.

Now, from a purely logistical standpoint, very little affection between anyone could be shown from episodes 3-7 because of COVID filming protocols (which seem to be far more strict on physical distancing than American and Canadian productions). The production team actually did a brilliant job using forced perspective and interesting over the shoulders to make people seem like they were closer together than they were. From a film nerd perspective though, they broke the 180 rule so frequently that I nearly lost my mind (glass boxes are great but they ignore all rules of perspective).

All that aside, the logistics of filming in COVID mean that moments where we do see physical distancing broken are all the more important. Kelly filmed this scene with an actress who she has not been working with for months, because it is so, so important to see Jo come out of the other side of her tragic life intact. It also matters that her partner is wearing a warm hat and has red hair (intentional casting or otherwise) and that their home has a red door, because it shows that those warm tones represent something different for Jo now. They don’t represent fear and betrayal and being trapped - now they represent home.

Additionally, there are a lot of comparisons made between Jo, Dot, and Ryan. All three had been groomed by Tommy Hunter since childhood to work for the OCG, all three were put into the Central Police to act as inside men, and all three committed terrible acts in their own interest. But there are differences here. Ryan was a little shit as a kid and he clearly had a terrible home life - his mom was the worst. He gravitated to an authority figure who offered him something different and who gave him power. He is a victim of circumstance - but he also found power and enjoyment in his terrible actions. He gloated about Maneet Bindra and John Corbett’s deaths, and he enjoyed wielding power over Jo when he was threatening her.

Dot is the blend between Ryan and Jo - he too was groomed by Tommy to enter this world of crime, and did many awful things without regret, including killing people who threatened to expose his identity as the Caddy. It’s not until his friendship, and burgeoning relationship, that his behavior changes. He almost gets away from the Central Police, despite Kate hopping on a lorry for a free ride to track him down, but when faced with the reality that this would mean Kate’s death, he sacrifices himself and gives her a final clue to dismantle the OCG within the police.

Jo, from what we’re shown, felt regret after everything she did, and the show made it a point to demonstrate Jo as a victim of her family and genuine fear for her life if she didn’t continue following the actions of the OCG. We never saw Ryan or Dot with a gun to their head or with a dozen locks on their door. We never saw them break down in bathroom stalls, or even framing people and discrediting them instead of killing them. And it’s ultimately her relationship with Kate that changes things for her - she tries to use Kate at first to get caught, and when they get close she tries to push Kate away in order to protect her, right until she thinks she has no other choice but to let Ryan kill her.

It’s interesting that all three characters meet their end with Kate (and a damn shame the show never chose to address that fully). She quite literally kills Ryan, has a standoff with Dot that ends with him sacrificing himself for her and giving a dying declaration, and goes on the run with Jo to give her time to prove she isn’t bent and who plants evidence against herself to protect Kate. Later, it’s Kate who convinces Jo to give up everything she knows about the OCG and the man who claimed to be her father, and Kate who offers immunity and witness protection. Finally, in their last scene together, Kate manages to save one of the people corrupted under the thumb of the OCG. She completes a task she first set out for in series 1, the first time she interviewed Ryan and tried to get him to realize there’s a better life out there for him.

Kate does what Jo was hoping she would: she saves her, and gives her the life she never thought she could have.

I wish I could end this with a perfect bow that ties the wardrobe threads of this series together, but frankly I can’t. On a macro level, cool tones remains the symbol of anti-corruption and the pursuit of truth and justice, and warm tones represent any force opposing those ideals. On a micro level, Steve’s clothing choices and what they represent remain consistent throughout the series, as do Jo’s. However, the character that ties Steve and Jo together, the person who believed in the truth of Jo despite what face value was saying, that person’s wardrobe gets thrown to hell in the final episode. Kate’s colors remain cool, and it’s understandable that the warm tones that represented her connection to Jo disappear as Jo turns on the OCG, but the actual physical clothing is completely different from what she’s been wearing before and doesn’t fit her characterization.

I think it’s crucial to note that her femininity is only played up when she’s back on a team with men, where her earlier androgynous dress became suddenly unacceptable. It’s a damn shame, because the emotional payoff for Kate’s growth outside of AC-12 could’ve been really spectacular, and she was stymied in the end in favor of her male colleagues.

#line of duty #kate fleming #jo davidson #steve arnott #flemson #kate x jo #lod spoilers #line of duty spoilers #It took me a long time to finish this because I struggled with the absolute 180 degree turn the show took tonally in the final episode #It honestly threw off quite a few of my conclusions #and I had to rethink the analysis #but thank you to everyone who stuck with me #enjoy!

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hmsannlett · 2 years

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Hi, there! Anon, here! I'm well, thank you! Oh, you're welcome about chapter 5! 😃 You know, the more I write (and brainstorm) the more I realize that editing and scrapping is part of the process, and I also can relate to the difficulty of "would this character actually do/say/think this?" Which has, of late, inspired me to do more research to build upon what I already do know. I find that helpful, at least some of the time. I remember you posting Colonial Williamsburg & other bookmarks! TBC...

Ooh! A bouquet, for me? Receives it gleefully 🤗 Oh, it was the Anna and Abe dialogue that you had to iron out! Then I'm thankful that my feedback brought you joy!🙂 It's so true, their dynamic on TURN was so frustratingly, dysfunctionally inconsistent (maybe that was the consistency - sigh ☹). TBC…

To me, it makes sense that it would take additional forethought to write that scene. In addition, I think Abe's response was been spot-on - teetering between apprehension and remorse, and then a bit of panic. And, thanks for the positive feedback about the flower idea! Of course you can ask! Yes, Hew has come back across the pond many, many years later, and certainly not to seek out Anna (but he will find her!) 😉 I look forward to chapter six, whenever it is ready to be planted on the page! TBC

BTW, do you recall if Hew knew about Andre/Peggy's relationship? What about Anna? No worries for the delayed reply! (I'm just realizing how delayed mine is, too! So sorry about that!) I can only hope that with the ten steps back, you strengthened muscles you ordinarily wouldn't have, had you been walking forward - I hope that doesn't sound patronizing in any way, because I don't intend it to be, and I'm sending hugs your way! 🤗 🤍 I always enjoy chatting with you and reading your fic!

Hello! Yes, most definitely! I spend more time editing and scrapping than I do actually writing. There’s always quite a bit of material that doesn’t make it into the posted chapter. Sometimes I save it in the hope that I can repurpose it for another fic; other times, if I’ve decided it’s too OOC/implausible in any setting, then it gets completely nuked.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with Anna and Abe—their dysfunctional inconsistency is their consistency. (And it's amplified by the persistent will-they-won't-they dynamic that the narrative pushes on them.)

Thank you! I appreciate that! Ahh very interesting! I’m curious to read how they end up meeting and reconciling in your fic!

Neither Anna nor Hew knew about Peggy and Andre in the show, but if it’s something you’re wanting to add to your fic, there’s no reason you can’t change that! Of the two, I think it’s more likely that Anna would be the one to find out, since both Abigail (obviously) and Ben knew about the relationship. And although Abigail and Ben both strike me as being very circumspect and not likely to freely tell others about Peggy’s and Andre’s relationship, I could see either of them confiding it to Anna after Andre’s execution (perhaps as a parallel to Anna’s own doomed relationship with Hew, since Abigail and Ben both know about that as well?). Or you could change the show events and have Anna (or Hewlett) find out even before Andre’s execution. That’s the fun of fanfic! ;)

And no worries! We do things fashionably late on this blog. :D Yeah, it was mainly another round through the gauntlet of dealing with difficult people who don’t communicate well and don’t seem to understand that other people have deadlines to stick to. Nothing unusual tbh, especially since the pandemic started and made communication harder; it’s just always frustrating dealing with those kinds of people.

Thanks for dropping in, anon! ❤︎

#asks #anonymous

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votederpycausemufins · 3 years

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The bots are all fixed!!! Well, they are physically. Mentally is another question which we’re not covering hahahahahaHAHAHA! also wack, no smp members. @petrichormeraki @helleborusangel

“There, that should do it. We might want for someone to test it out in the near future, but it does look like it’s fixed.” Xisuma spoke as both of the bots powered back on. “I can see why we had trouble before. It looks fine if you’re not actively looking for that problem specifically.”

“Thank you very much Xisuma.” Mumbo said, checking both of the bots over for his own peace of mind.

“Of course. I also got a response from Biffa in the middle of it all, and while he’s not willing to share all the details of his past, he was willing to give a few notes. As these two are player entities, natural world magic is going to help them adapt more to that. He’s willing to come visit in a few weeks to see the two of them if you’re all okay with that.”

Mumbo looked over to Grian who nodded. “That’s more your guys’ call. You both knew him much longer than me. I mean, we interacted of course and he seemed nice, but you know better.”

“Well X, I think that would be lovely.” Mumbo replied, looking back to the admin.

“You know, is it just a family thing to like people in pink, or is it just coincidence.” Grifter spoke up, making everyone look over at him exasperatedly.

“Did you have to follow us in here?” Mumbo groaned, and Grifter just nodded, feathers coming off of him as he moved from stray ones sticking to his clothes.

“Too many chickens outside. Inside’s safer. Besiiiiiiides it’s less boring in here. And I’m the one who even knew what was wrong with your kids. Also yeah, you fixed it, no need for testing.”

“You’re not lying, are you?” Grian asked, crossing his arms.

“Of course not. What would I get out of lying about it?” Grifter shrugged. “They also look like my little pumpkin rolls, so why would I want to hurt them?”

“Didn’t your version of Jrum try killing ours?” Mumbo said with a frown.

Grifter just scoffed. “I told him about the bug! He was going to make sure your kid respawned correctly. I just needed some help and for you not to know. It worked out in the end, didn’t it? It only didn’t work out for those asshole admins and me.”

“Speaking of, Tommy’s old world has a console now. Well, a console other than Grum. Is the hels version the same?” Mumbo asked, genuinely curious, though the smile that Grifter gave worried him.

“Weeeell, the short answer is no, it’s got a new admin. The longer answer is that the new admin is meee!”

“You?!”

“I’m sorry why you?! I’m not the admin here! I’m not even opped!”

“I know you’re fucking not.” Grifter rolled his eyes, pulling a stray feather off of his sweater. “Our worlds are parallel but they aren’t one to one equals, dumbass. And we’re not just influenced by the shit that happens here. May I remind you that I was a Listener when Deevo and Evo started while you only became a Watcher when it ended. Or at least close to the end. And my boys were born before you built these two. The worlds sometimes force themselves together, like NPG staying around when I was gone and my boys not functioning until yours were around or… you know… Tommy being pulled to Hermitcraft after Theseus ran off to Helscraft.”

That got everyone’s attention. “Wait, is that why Tommy doesn’t know how he got here?”

Grifter smirked. “Yeah. After Nightmare got killed, Thee got the admin powers. He was pissed over things and ran off looking for me. Of course I was imprisoned and Dad wasn’t letting anyone near me, so the best he could find was season five. Member changes are always a forced thing, so I guess something pulled Tommy here to fix it that way.

“But wait, won’t that…” Grian trailed off.

“Shove you into the SMP? Fuck no. I’m admin, but I’m not gonna live there. I’m a Listener, I can check on things while living in Helscraft. Besides, things are different with NPG around. I mean, unless I kill him-”

“Don’t you dare!”

Grifter huffed. “I wasn’t gonna! Despite how much I hate him, he was the one person caring for Sense when he was all alone, so I’ll give him that. So no death, maybe just some torture. Anyway, I’m sure you’re visiting, so it balances out. Probably.” He finished with a shrug.

“Oh joy of joys.” Mumbo groaned while Grian looked so done with the world.

While all of this had been going on, both of the bots had completely powered on. At first they just took in their surroundings, staying quiet since it was clear others were in the middle of important conversations. Then they saw each other.

With everything that had happened, the two bots had barely been in each other’s company, and when they were, they were at each other’s throats. Jrum was the first to look away in shame as he could remember most of what happened clearly, but Grum was a bit fuzzy on a number of details. He hesitated, reaching out towards his brother a bit, before just pulling his hand back.

When it seemed the conversation was coming to a close, Grum got Jrum’s attention and used his screen and hands to signal something before looking over to their dads. “Um, Dads?”

Mumbo and Grian both looked over to Grum when he spoke up. “What is it Grum?”

“Could… Could Jrum and I have a bit of time alone? To… talk with each other?”

The pair looked to Xisuma since it was his place. X nodded before helping to lead them as well as Grifter out of the room and to somewhere else.

For a few moments, both of the bots were quiet, just sitting there, unsure what to say. Then Jrum started up the conversation. “I’m sorry for being mad at you. I got all upset at Dad getting upset at family, but then I was doing the same thing.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I was the one who started things. You reacted to my actions and were influenced by those red plants.”

“Yeah, but Dream was messing with you and made you be mean!”

“No he didn’t.” Grum replied, which confused Jrum for a few moments before Grum elaborated. “I started realizing something was weird and I panicked. I was worried I would do something really bad and hurt you. I didn’t know what exactly, and I also wasn’t sure if I could safely tell you. I knew if I said something kindly or nicely asking us to distance ourselves, nothing would work until I explained more. And I didn’t want to have to deal with you asking to stay because I didn’t want you to go either. So I just sort of… let myself be mean. I can’t even blame it on someone else. It was me and only me.”

Jrum was quiet, just processing what his brother had said. Then, after a few seconds, he scooted closer and hugged Grum. “Then that’s not your fault! You didn’t know what was safe to say, and that’s because the admin was - don’t let Daddy know I said this - Dream was a piece of shit!” Grum paused before giggling a bit, not expecting his brother to say that. “What? It’s true!”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… nice to be with you again.”

Jrum smiled and hugged a little tighter. “Yeah, and now we’re gonna be closer because we went through trauma together! Speaking of which… how long do you think we can milk this?”

Grum pulled away from the hug to rub his ‘chin’. “Well, Dad is more likely to notice we’re up to something, so only a week or two with him. But if we play our cards right, we can keep things going with Daddy for a month. Maybe even more.”

“What? That long?”

“Well, we sort of got stuck in a time displacement bubble for a month all by ourselves and got controlled by different things. We would need to be careful and not make it seem like we’re having a relapse, but if we have a, quote unquote bad day, we can definitely get a lot out of it.”

“I’m going to build a new shop.”

“Good idea, so many people will want to support us. We might even get a discount on some land in Aquoo town. From Scar and not Bdubs of course.”

“Of course, we have more sway over Scar.” Jrum nodded.

“The question is what to sell.”

“Yeah, that part’s gonna be a bit harder. Hmm, maybe a gardeni-”

“Nope! Absolutely not!”

“Ugh, rude. Hmm… Odea two?”

“Ooo, good idea, good idea. It also sounds like we could get some interaction with the SMP after this, we could outsource there. I mean, we already have the connections.”

“Oh definitely. Speaking of, I kinda said Fundy could come visit Hermitcraft a while ago. Do you think that would be allowed?”

“Oh easy. We can even get Michael and his dad to come too.”

“Yes! I’ve always wanted an actual playdate! And this time I won’t be almost killed by a clone!”

“Let’s find our dads and ask?”

“Definitely!” Jrum nodded, and the two bots jumped off of where they were sitting and went looking for their parents.

“Leave me alone Lynn.” Grian grumbled, wings puffing up.

“Not until you tell me what a Listener is doing here!” The other Watcher gestured to Grifter, who was giving her a smirk.

Grian sighed. “Basically I’m making sure he doesn’t destroy everything by keeping an eye on him. Unfortunately that means he needed to come here while I change some records.”

“Really? You changing records? I thought I’d never see the day.”

“Oh shut it. Remember that Watcher I asked about? You couldn’t find anything but I kept looking into it and found two unknown Watchers.”

“And let me guess, you figured out who they were. Was one of them Eyes?”

Grian half shrugged. “Yes and no? Uh, so both of them are my kids and Eyes is like… part of my one kid?”

“Oh you’re an idiot.”

“Hey hey hey! He’s not just an idiot, he’s also a dumbass!” Grifter spoke up, getting glares from both Watchers.

“But seriously. You used Watcher magic to build them?”

“I didn’t think I did! I mean, I guess maybe? But Mumbo was in charge of the redstone and the redstone was the mayoral reservoirs and that’s what was technically using magic.”

“I’m going to have to tell someone about this.”

“Okay. Can you just try to make sure it’s someone that’s not going to completely freak out?”

“Hmm, no promises.” Lynn replied, and then walked off before Grian could say more.

“Oh I like her.” Grifter smiled. “So how do you know each other?”

“She’s the Watcher that was in charge of at least part of the world I grew up in.”

Grifter nodded. “Well I would love to hear the stories she got from there. But that can wait. Where are we going now?”

“Records room. I need to officially list my boys as Watchers and then get their data transferred to their names.”

“Ughhhh that sounds boring. Where’s the cool stuff?”

Grian just groaned and led them to the records room, needing to give excuses to a few Watchers here and there on the way. He was able to quickly grab the needed files since he already knew where they were. Correcting the names was easy enough since they were currently unknown and waiting for the answer. Correcting other forms was harder though. Normally a Watcher had their name officialized before doing much work. Maybe once or twice based on the situation, and that was the case with Jrum seeing as how his only real use of magic was when Grian himself had triggered it. But Grum had a lot more.

Every time Grum accessed the mayoral reservoirs, he was really looking into all the political data that the Watchers had gathered over the years. That alone would be a hassle, but the fact that there was extra paperwork for accessing certain sub categories was causing more issues. Normally you needed permission for data on destroyed worlds, but of course Grum managed to bypass any blocks and get right into the data. And since he was unlisted, it had caused some more logging errors.

Grian half contemplated just flipping the table he was at. It would send paperwork everywhere, but a quick bit of magic would fix it, and it would feel gratifying. But then again, Grifter was here, and who knows how he would react. And Grian expected a worse case scenario there. “Okay, can I trust you for like three minutes to go tell Mumbo it’s going to take a while here?”

Grifter’s eyes lit up a little and he nodded. “Three minutes! Got it!” Grian immediately regretted it, but before he could say more, Grifter was gone.

Mumbo glanced at his communicator for the time. He expected Grian would take a while, but he also hoped he wouldn’t be gone too long. Plus, he was also worried that if the bots were left alone too long, they could get into trouble. He was just about to go check on them when he heard the sound of them running in his direction.

Mumbo couldn’t help but worry about why they were running until he actually saw them. With everything that happened the past few days, his mind kept trying to jump to the worst outcome, but the moment he saw the boys smiling, it calmed him down.

“Daddy! Can we invite people over to play?” Jrum asked, looking hopeful.

“Even with everything that happened, we managed to make some friends. It would be nice to thank them by letting them get to visit here.”

“And I kinda said someone could come visit and they’re kinda our cousin and he knows Auncle Iskall so please please please can they come visit?”

“And Michael was nice too. I didn’t get to interact too much, but he seemed rather nice.”

“Pleeeeeaaaaaaaase!”

Mumbo tried to get them to calm down. “Alright, alright. I’m sure the two of you could use some time to relax and have fun. We just need to wait for your dad to come back so he could get them. It may also be a while since I’m sure he wants to wait for Tommy to want to come back too.”

“Okay! We can wait!” Jrum agreed. “Can we go check the shopping district until then?”

“I’m not sure. I should wait for your dad to come back.”

“But we are perfectly able to go on our own.” Grum pointed out. “And even if something were to happen, the shopping district is so commonly filled with others that another hermit would assist us should there be trouble.”

Mumbo hesitated, but then agreed. “Alright, but see if Iskall is home and then ask them to take you there. I don’t want something happening on the way there.”

Jrum was happy to agree, but for a moment, Grum hesitated, their screen changing a bit. “Could we possibly ask Uncle Scar instead?”

“I’m… not sure he’s around. Grum are you sure you should be going?”

Grum nodded. He didn’t want to leave Jrum alone again. “No. It’s fine. W-We can go see Auncle Iskall.”

Mumbo didn’t look completely convinced, but Jrum’s pleading look got him to look away for just a moment. “Alright, alright. Go on before I change my mind again.”

“Thank you!” Jrum smiled and started pulling Grum away. Grum followed behind, though he still looked reluctant, so once they were in the air, Jrum looked back to his brother. “Oh come on, we’re not actually gonna go get them. We’re just going to say we couldn’t find them and since Daddy didn’t give us a second option, we’re just going on our own.”

Grum nodded. “Thanks.”

“Oh don’t worry! To be completely honest, I completely agree with Grifter about chickens right now and feel like I’ll strangle and turtles I see! I sort of don’t even want to see Professor Beaks any time soon!”

“Is that about the-”

“Yeah it’s about the flipping egg!”

“Sorry.” Grum apologized and Jrum made them land so they could hug each other.

“It’s fine. We already went over a bunch. Life sucked, but apparently that’s like… a family thing. I kinda want to give Daddy trauma though just to make it equal.”

“I think he has enough from dealing with us all.”

“Hmmmm you’re probably right. Okay let’s go scam Scar!”

The two of them eventually reached the shopping district and Aqua Town. It took a little bit of searching, but they eventually found the mayor. He already wasn’t the best and giving good prices for his land, but the fact that he was also up against two traumatized children, one of which he slightly feared, didn’t help his case. In the end, he got seven diamond blocks from the bots and Grum happily started building the new shop.

Jrum went back and forth between the plot and Odea to figure out prices and stocking the place. He was glad to see Grum was happy, and then even more when he saw their dad flying their way. “Dad! Dad! Over here!” Grian heard Jrum and flew down, landing next to the bot. “Look! We’re making a new shop!”

“Oh really? What are you going to sell?” Grian responded, and Jrum had to keep from frowning. The tone of Grian’s voice sounded off. Jrum’s best guess was that something bad happened with whatever he had been doing and he was upset at that, but Jrum also couldn’t be sure.

“Well, it’s going to be a branch of Odea. I’m hoping that if we’ve got lots of people visiting that aren’t all amazing builders and redstoners like everyone here that they’ll want to buy Daddy’s designs! And since everything is moving to Aquway Town, we’re having a place here so it’ll get noticed!”

“Oh, that sounds like a great idea! And it looks like someone’s gotten really far with building already.” Grian looked up to where Grum was standing on the scaffolding, placing blocks down.

“Yeah! I’m glad he looks so happy! Oh! By the way! When you pick up Tommy, can you also ask if Michael and Fundy want to visit? I kinda said Fundy could and then I think Michael would like it too. If his parents have to come along, I wouldn’t mind. And they’re Tommy’s friends so that way he can have people visit too!”

Grian smiled sweetly. “Oh of course we can do that! I’m sure Xisuma would be fine with it all!”

“Yay! I can’t wait!”

“Welp, I’m going to go check on the rest of Aqua Town!” Grian said, starting to walk off. “I don’t want to get too far while I wait for Tommy’s message.”

“Yeah oka- wait. Dad, what did you call this place?” Jrum asked, catching that Grian used the real name of the area.

“Uh… well I better check on Barge Co.! Eep!” Grifter started to back up, but then jumped as an egg was thrown down next to him, followed by another, and then yet another. “AHH! It’s Poultry Man! Run away!!!”

Jrum looked up to see that the eggs had come from Grum, who quickly signalled a sorry to Jrum, which the bot quickly accepted. Grum ended up gliding down to join his brother and the both of them dealt with Grifter, somehow managing to send the helsmit back to Grian, unintentionally making their Dad groan as more paperwork appeared for him.

#hermit!tommy au #hermit!tommy #xisumavoid #xisuma #grian #watcher!grian #grian xelqua #avian!Grian #mumbo jumbo #grumbot #jrumbot #hels!grian #the watchers (evo)

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hyuniepot · 3 years

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the butterfly effect. || chapter one

chapter word count || 3,214

genre || thriller, angst, drama

members || mark lee, na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle, park jisung

warnings || mentions of death, implications of depression

pairing || fem!reader x jaemin || slight fem!reader x mark

synopsis || you never thought you’d be able to play with fate so easily, especially not through some shady app. but you suddenly must say goodbye to what you know and hello to a new world where everything seems perfect.

a/n || reposting this chapter because tumblr made it glitch out for some reason ;-; praying everything works out this time!! as always, send me a message or an ask to be added to the taglist.

You used to be scared of butterflies.

Yes, the thought of it is silly, but you were. You didn’t like bugs at all, the pretty ones included. The thought of them crawling on your skin made you ill. But there was one thing you loved, and that was your friend, Mark. And unlike you, Mark loved butterflies. So when he asked you to go to a butterfly exhibit with him, you sucked it up and said yes.

And you realized that day that butterflies were beautiful. They were harmless, and you giggled as they landed on you, excitedly showing Mark as you conquered your fear of them. Mark helped you conquer a lot of your fears.

And ever since he left, you felt more fearful than ever. Losing him made you realize how fragile life really was, and you hated it. You hated feeling like everything was on the verge of being lost.

“You good?” you jump at the sound of Jaemin’s voice in your ear. You blink, realizing you had completely zoned out. You were sitting next to him on the bus to school. You quickly glance out the window once more. The butterfly you had been admiring was gone.

You nod. “I’m okay. Just tired.” you respond.

Jaemin grins and grabs onto your hand. “Okay. Just checking in.” he says softly. “Um, we’re all gonna get food after school if you wanna come. It’s just a really nice day, it’d be a shame not to go out in it, you know?”

Truth be told, you had been feeling weird lately, and going out with your friends (or, to be more accurate — your boyfriend and his friends that you were friends with by association) was probably what you needed. “That sounds nice.”

The bus had arrived at school. Jaemin stands and picks up his bag, letting you out in front of him. You exit the bus and you’re met with the warm air enveloping you, the sun hitting your eyes and making you squint. Jaemin exits the bus as well, his frame blocking the sun from blinding you. He puts his arm around you, and you grab onto his hand out of instinct.

“Hey guys, got room for more?” you feel another arm around your shoulder.

“Hyuck, no. You’re gross.” Jaemin groans, rolling his eyes.

Hyuck gasps dramatically. “That’s mean. You didn’t even consult with your girlfriend first.”

You smile. “Sorry, Hyuck. But I’m only interested in Jaemin.” you tell him.

Hyuck removes his arm from your shoulder and crosses his arms. “What a low blow…” he mutters. Hyuck was your childhood friend. He grew up with you and Mark. He was like a happy virus, and you weren’t sure if you would have survived losing Mark if he hadn’t been there for you.

You giggle. “Sorry to break your heart.”

“You’d think after months of being rejected he’d give up, but he’s a trooper.” Jaemin adds.

Hyuck rolls his eyes this time. “It’s only because you guys are gross and kissy-kissy in public. We’re in school,” he says, moving away from his spot next to you. He puts himself in between you and Jaemin. “Leave room for Jesus.”

“Oh my god, Hyuck,” you laugh. “You are so annoying. You’re lucky you’re my best friend.” you tell him.

Hyuck grins and sticks out his tongue, turning down a hallway as you guys pass it. “You’re damn right you’re lucky,” he calls. “I’ll see you guys later!”

Jaemin shakes his head, laughing. “He’s such a weirdo. Love him, though.”

You reach your locker and lean against it. “He is. You learn how to deal with him after so long. I’ll meet you outside the entrance doors after school. Do you guys know where you’re going to eat?”

Jaemin leans up against the locker next to yours. “Nah, not yet. We’ll figure it out before the day ends.” he tells you. “You have a good day, alright?” he pecks your cheek.

You smile. “I will.” Jaemin gives you one last grin before turning and continuing down the hallway.

[12:39 p.m.]

“What kind of weird shit do you read at night?” Naeun asks, scowling at Jiwoo.

“It’s not weird!” Jiwoo cries, turning her phone screen towards the dark-haired girl. “There’s real proof!”

“What are you guys talking about?” you ask, taking a seat next to Naeun.

“Apparently there’s an app that can change your fate,” Sungyeon speaks up, holding back a laugh. “Jiwoo found it.”

Jiwoo turns her attention towards you. “See! You’ll believe me, right?” she turns her phone to you.

You furrow your brows and decide not to answer her question. You read the article she had pulled up.

According to the 13-year-old who downloaded the app, ButterFly, his wish came true a mere 3 hours after sending it into the ButterFly HQ. The young boy wished for his cat to come back to life, who had been dead for nearly a month. A few hours later, a cat showed up at the boy’s window. It was identical to the one the boy had.

ButterFly, a self-proclaimed life changing app has been growing in popularity as people hope to change their past. But the real question is, does this app really change a life or is it simply coincidence?

“Jiwoo…” you say softly.

“Come on,” she whines. “I can’t be the only one who thinks it could actually be real!”

“I’m afraid you are.” Sungyeon tells her, taking a bite of her food. “It’s just a coincidence. The only success story they have is something so… normal.”

“If they want to impress me, they have to come up with something way more exciting than a kid finding his cat.” Naeun says.

Jiwoo pouts, turning off her phone. “But… it’d just be so cool if it was real.”

“I agree, but an app should never be trusted for something like that. Plus, if an app had the powers to change the trajectory of someone’s life, wouldn’t the butterfly effect happen?” you asked.

“She’s right,” Naeun says. “Fate is not something to play around with.”

Dejected, Jiwoo surrenders and turns her attention back to finishing her lunch.

“What is that again?” Sungyeon asks. “The butterfly effect?”

“The idea that even tiny changes can make huge and unexpected changes,” you explain. “Like a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a typhoon.”

“Hmm,” Sungyeon hums. “That’s interesting.”

“Yeah, like if Jiwoo was born as a boy, maybe she’d be dating you and you’d be a millionaire for some reason.” Naeun takes a drink from her water bottle.

“What?” Sungyeon cringes.

“Hey, what’s that face for?” Jiwoo cries. “I think I’d be a cute boy.”

You laugh and shake your head as your friends continue to playfully banter about who would be the cutest boy in a parallel universe.

[3:30 p.m.]

You stand by the entrance doors, rocking back and forth on your heels. You try not to look too awkward as you wait for Jaemin and his friends. You wave to Naeun as she leaves, and are relieved when Jaemin appears a few moments later. He immediately spots you and makes his way to you, smiling. His friends, Jeno and Renjun walk behind him with Hyuck, loudly talking about something.

“Hi,” Jaemin says. “Did you have a good day?”

You grin. “It was fine. How about you?” you start walking away from school, taking hold of his hand.

“It was good. I have some annoying homework, but…” he trails off.

Renjun suddenly runs past you, turning around with a disgusted look on his face. “Hyuck, for the last time, I will not hold your hand!”

You turn your head to see a pouty Hyuck. “I just wanted to fit in!”

You laugh and roll your eyes, turning your head back towards the sidewalk in front of you. You all make your way to a nearby restaurant. You sat next to Jaemin in a booth and Jeno, Renjun, and Hyuck all squeezed into the one across from you. You all ordered drinks.

“Oh, Jaemin,” Jeno says, picking his bag up from the floor. He pulls out a notebook and hands it to Jaemin. “Thanks for your notes.”

Jaemin nods. “No problem.”

“Jeno,” Renjun says, shaking his head. “You’re never gonna learn if you keep copying Jaemin’s notes.”

Jeno shrugs. “It’s not like I do it all the time,” he says, defending himself.

“You borrow my notes, too, though… so Renjun kinda has a point.” Hyuck says, leaning back as the waitress sets his drink down in front of him.

You pull out your phone as the boys argue yet again just to see what was happening on your social media. It was mostly random tweets and posts from people you knew, but there was something that caught your eye. It was a promoted post from ButterFly. It had no likes or anything, despite being promoted to your Twitter timeline. And it wasn’t just one. After a few scrolls, you saw another ad from the app, just with a different caption. You saw another one before shaking your head and exiting the app. You opened Instagram, just to be met with the same ad.

Don’t be afraid. Having the chance to change your fate is much more fun than you think.

The caption sent chills down your spine. It didn’t sound like something that should be promoted. You clicked the link the ad provided, but it simply took you to the app store. Your curiosity was getting the best of you. You wanted to download the app, but something was holding you back.

Jaemin nudged your shoulder, making you jump.

“Huh?” you ask. Everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Do you want something to eat?” Jaemin asked.

“Oh,” you look at the waitress next to the table, notebook and pen in hand. “I’m okay.” you reply.

The waitress nods before turning around and entering the kitchen. You stand up from your seat at the booth. “I need to go to the bathroom.” You shoved your phone into a pocket on your bookbag and rushed to the bathroom.

You shut the door behind you, walking to the sink. You looked at yourself. You looked tired, disheveled. You couldn’t get rid of the feeling you had felt since waking up. You could barely even describe it. It almost felt like dread, but it was more of an unexplainable sadness. Not even being with your friends seemed to help it. You turned on the water, splashing your cheeks with cold water. How had you been so enchanted by the ads of that app that you had become completely oblivious to what was going on around you?

You dried your face before you heard a small knock on the door. “Hey, are you okay?” You opened the door and saw Jaemin. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern.

You forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, sorry…” you say, stepping out of the bathroom.

“You’ve been acting… strange today. No offense,” Jaemin says.

“None taken,” you sigh. “I know I have. Everything just feels off today, I don’t know why.” You tell him.

Jaemin puts his arm around you and you both begin walking back to the table the others were at. “It’s okay to feel that way… I think everyone does. It just sucks to watch you feel so sad.” Jaemin says. He sighs. “I really hope you start feeling better soon. I miss hearing your laugh.”

You smile. “I miss it too,” you say, reaching the table. Jaemin scoots into the booth and you follow after. You try to ignore the horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach and have a good afternoon with your friends. You ended up starting to feel better. You stole some of Hyuck’s food after panicking and not ordering some of your own. You laughed at everyone’s jokes and dumb arguments, and before you knew it, an hour had passed. You all decided to stop being a bother and leave. You waited outside as everyone paid; Jaemin offered to pay for you since all you got was a drink.

“Are you heading home?” Jeno asked Jaemin.

He nodded. “I’m gonna walk this one home and then head home myself,” he said, resting his head on yours.

Jeno nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Renjun and Hyuck also waved goodbye. They were all going to Jeno’s. You went your separate ways, and as much as you loved them, you were glad to be alone with Jaemin. Your house wasn’t too far, but even if it was just a few minutes, you were glad to be with him.

“Are you just gonna go home and do homework?” you ask.

Jaemin nods. “Yeah… it’s probably gonna take some time.”

“Sorry baby,” you say. “I’ll facetime you once my mom gets home,” you tell him.

Your mother worked late, so you were in charge of looking after your younger brother, Jisung, until she got home. He was only 2 years younger than you, so it’s not like it was hard, but you still felt obligated to keep tabs on him.

“You don’t have to,” he says. You both walked through your driveway and to the front door. “But if you want to, however… I would love it if you did.” he grins as you open your door.

“Well, then expect a call later,” you say, grabbing both of his hands.

Jaemin leans in and kisses you, and for a second, it feels like everything is okay.

“Gross!” a voice yells. You jump away from Jaemin and turn around.

“Jisung, your sister and her boyfriend are smashing their faces together again!” Chenle, who was standing in the kitchen, yells. Jisung’s pokes his head around the corner.

“Shut up, Chenle.” you say, grinning. “You’re not a child, kissing isn’t that weird.”

You step inside, taking off your shoes and setting your bag down. Jaemin steps in behind you and walks to the kitchen, putting Chenle in a headlock. “You little jerk,” Jaemin teases.

Chenle giggles, trying to get out of Jaemin’s arms. You walk to the living room where Jisung had gone, continuing his video game. “How was your day?” you ask.

“Good.” Jisung says, eyes still glued to the TV.

“That’s good,” you look back to the kitchen and see that Jaemin has released Chenle, and is now talking to him. “Do you have homework?”

Jisung nods. You watch the TV, and watch his character die. Jisung sighs and sets the controller down, turning to you. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Can you try and get it done before Mom gets home?” you ask.

Jisung nods. “Yeah… Chenle and I have the same homework so we can do it together, I guess.”

You nod and go back to the kitchen. Talking to Jisung sometimes felt like talking to a brick wall. “I better get going.” Jaemin says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You walk him to the door. “I’ll see you.” you grab both of his hands again, never wanting to let go. Jaemin kisses your cheek and turns.

You bite your lip. Why was this horrible feeling back so suddenly? “Hey, Jaemin?” you call after him. He turns back around.

“I love you.” you say, almost too softly. For a second you weren’t even sure if he heard you, but he gives you that classic smile, the one that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

“I love you too.” he blows you a kiss before walking away.

[9:41 p.m.]

You sat down on your bed, freshly out of the shower. Since Jaemin had left, you helped Jisung and Chenle with their homework, did your own homework, and facetimed Jaemin for a bit while he did his. And then you took a long shower in an attempt to clear your head.

You look around for your phone, finding it hidden in a blanket on your bed. You answer some unread texts and then open Instagram again. You’re met with the same ads from before. Your heart drops.

Without thinking you click the link again, pressing download. It downloaded in no time. Your thumb hovers over the icon of the app. The moment you muster up the courage to click on it, there’s a knock at your bedroom door.

You jump, startled, but get up and open it.

Your mother’s exhausted face greets you. “Hi sweetie. I’m going straight to bed, so… goodnight. I hope you had a good day.”

You smile, shakily exhaling. “Today was fine. Goodnight.” you say, not wanting to delay her sleep anymore.

She gives you a warm smile before going to her room. Before you close your door, Jisung appears from the staircase nearby. “You going to bed?” he asks.

“Uh,” you open your phone, looking at the time.

ButterFlyHQ

Greetings. What is your name?

You ignore the notification. “No… but I’ll probably be in my room for the rest of the night.”

“Oh, okay… well… goodnight then.” he says, going to his room which was right across from yours. He closes the door without another word.

You press your lips together and shut your door as well, laying down on your bed. You opened your phone and clicked on ButterFly.

1 Unread Message

ButterFlyHQ

Greetings. What is your name?

You hesitantly enter your name. You regret it as soon as you responded — maybe you should’ve used a fake name.

ButterFlyHQ

Hello, (y/n).

What do you wish to change?

Wow, straight to the point… You think.

You wonder what you should enter. You try to think of the most outrageous thing you could think of, something completely unimaginable. Something that would surely trigger the Butterfly Effect.

There were things you actually wanted to change.

You wanted your mother to stop being so stressed.

You wanted Jisung to be happy.

You wanted to stop feeling so insecure about you and Jaemin’s relationship.

You wanted Jiwoo to finally pass trigonometry.

Okay, the last one was a bit dumb, and actually imaginable. And then you thought of the most impossible thing.

You

I want my best friend to come back to life.

You almost laugh as you sent the message. But your faint smile fades at the immediate response.

ButterFlyHQ

What is your best friend’s name?

This was suddenly feeling too personal.

You

Mark Lee.

ButterFlyHQ

Understood. We will try our best to meet your request.

You stare at your phone. Now what? You turned your phone off and set it on your nightstand, plugging it into the charger before laying down and staring at the ceiling.

Great, now some random stranger knows some girl thinks an app can bring her friend back from the grave.

When you got the chance, you were gonna chew Jiwoo out for bringing that app up. You get under the covers and close your eyes, trying to sleep. But your mind was racing. You finally feel yourself drifting, your mind finally giving you some peace.

Your last thought before you finally fall asleep is Jaemin. You just wanted to be with him again, his arm around your shoulder, his fingers lazily intertwined with yours. You felt yourself smiling before finally falling asleep, unknowingly saying goodbye to your last normal day.

66 notes · View notes

xiyao-feels · 3 years

Text

A Comparison of the Stairs Dialogue in CQL vs MDZS, Pt 2

(Pt 1)

CQL

NMJ: 孟瑶你少在我面前耍花腔你那一套在我这早就统统不管用了 Meng Yao. Don't try to get clever with me. I am already used to how you operate to get your way.

MDZS

NMJ: 孟瑶，你少在我面前耍花腔，你那一套早就统统不管用了！ Meng Yao, don’t speak such pretentious words in front of me. Your whole thing stopped working on me since a long time ago!

And now NMJ calls JGY Meng Yao, which is awful and humiliating and /not/ JGY's name. Rather it's the name of a famous joke, famous enough that even NMJ recognizes it when he first hears it in ch 48. And, of course, it's the name of NMJ's servant, and not the man who—as his sworn brother and the son of a fellow sect leader—is something approaching a peer. It's also worth noting that in MDZS this is very much happening in public, and during the day. As to JGY's pretentious words, see confusion-and-more's recent post for JGY's success rate on talking NMJ down when he's angry (spoiler: it's pretty much nonexistent).

As a side note, I prefer ER's "whole thing" to the CQL subs "how you operate"; I think "My whole thing? Which whole thing?" more nicely preserves the parallel structure in 你那一套 / 我那一套我哪一套 than "How I operate? What are you talking about?" does.

JGY: 我那一套我哪一套大哥你总骂我工于心计不入流你说你行得正站得直天不怕地不怕男子汉大丈夫不需要玩弄什么阴谋阳略好你出身高贵修为也高可我呢我跟你能一样吗我一无修为根基我长这么大谁教过我二无世家背景你以为我现在在兰陵金氏站得很稳吗你以为金子轩死了我就扶摇直上吗金光善他宁可再接回来一个私生子都没有让我继位的意思要我天不怕地不怕我就是怕天怕地我还怕人 How I operate? What are you talking about? Da-ge, you always scold me for indecent scheming. You always say that you are just and straight, being fearless when face everything. A decent man shouldn't resort to devious stratagems. Well. You're of noble birth and have profound cultivation. What about me? How can I be the same? First, I don't have the foundation of cultivation. No one has ever taught me that since I was a child. Second, I don't have any background. Do you think that my position is very solid in Jin clan of Lanling? You thought that I could be promoted all the way up after Jin Zixuan's death? Jin Guangshan would rather recognize another bastard than letting me succeed him. You told me to be fearless when face everything. Yet I can do nothing but fear everything and even the people!

MDZS

JGY: 我那一套？我哪一套？大哥，你总骂我工于心计不入流。你说你行得正站得直，天不怕地不怕，男子汉大丈夫，不需要玩弄什么阴谋阳谋。好，你出身高贵，修为也高。可我呢？我跟你一样吗？我一无你修为高根基稳，我长这么大谁教过我？二无世家背景，你以为我现在在兰陵金氏站得很稳吗？你以为金子轩死了我就扶摇直上了吗？金光善他宁可再接回来一个私生子都没有让我继位的意思！要我天不怕地不怕？我就是怕天怕地，还怕人！真是站着说话不腰疼，饱汉不知饿汉饥。 My whole thing? Which whole thing? Brother, you’ve always yelled at me for calculating people and being too dishonorable. You say that you’re a proud, righteous person, that you aren’t afraid of anything, that propen men shouldn’t need to play with schemes. That’s fine. Your background is noble and your cultivation is high. But what about me? Am I the same as you? First, my cultivation isn’t as firm as yours. Ever since I was born, has anyone taught me? And second, I have no prominent background. Do you think that I’m in a steady position, here at the LanlingJin Sect? Do you think that I can rise into power the moment Jin ZiXuan dies? Jin GuangShan would rather bring another illegitimate child back than want me to succeed him! You think that I should be afraid of nothing? Well I’m afraid of everything, even other people! He whose stomach is full believes not him who is starving.

As you can see, the Chinese here is broadly the same. In addition to a few character changes here and there, however, the MDZS has a whole extra sentence: He whose stomach is full believes not him who is starving. (Actually there's an extra clause just before it that—doesn't get translated? just gets folded in to the starving man? Not going to comment further because again, my understanding is very low, but I thought it was worth noting.) I have to say, I'm not really sure why they cut it—maybe it makes the actual difference between them too obvious? Though the rest of JGY's speech does a decent job of that regardless!

As a note on the Chinese, when JGY talks about NMJ wanting him to be fearless, the phrase he uses is '天不怕地不怕'; it's an idiom meaning, well, fearless, but Pleco also gives "fear neither Heaven (天) nor Earth (地)". JGY's assertion that he does fear is then '就是怕天怕地，还怕人！' Modifying the ER translation, perhaps 'Well I’m afraid of Heaven and of Earth, and even of other people!'

I don't know that this adds any particular meaning, but I appreciated the parallel structure and wanted to point it out :P

CQL

NMJ: 说到底你不杀薛洋不过是不想动摇你在兰陵金氏的地站 After all the reason why you keep Xue Yang alive is to stable your position in Jin clan of Lanling!

MDZS

NMJ: 说到底，你的意思无非是说不想杀薛洋，不想你在兰陵金氏的地位动摇。 In the end, all you mean is that you don’t want to kill Xue Yang, that you don’t want your position at the LanlingJin Sect to waver.

As you can see, NMJ totally fails to understand or accept the significance of what JGY is telling him; he refuses to understand that JGY is in /danger/, that JGY's stable position in the Jin isn't just a matter of political power, it's essential to JGY being able to stay alive.

CQL

JGY: 我当然不想不过大哥我一直都想问您一句话您手下的人命只比我多不比我少为什么我当初只不过迫于形势杀了几个修士就要这样被你一直翻旧账翻到如今 Sure it is. But da-ge, I always want to ask you a question. Lives taken by you can only be more than those I took. I just killed a few cultivators under that certain situation. Why do you stick to it until now?

MDZS

JGY: 我当然不想不过大哥，我一直以来都想问您一句话：您手下的人命，只比我多，不比我少，为什么我当初只不过是迫于形势杀了几个修士，就要被你这样一直翻旧账翻到如今？ Of course I don’t! But, Brother, I have always wanted to ask you something—the lives under your hands are in any regard more than those under mine, so why is it that I only killed a few cultivators out of desperation and you keep on bringing it up, even until now?

I prefer 'Of course I don't' to 'Sure it is' as a translation; with 不想 he's agreeing with what NMJ's use of 不想, and I think Of course I don't! captures this more nicely. Incidentally, this is the first time in this exchange that JGY uses 您 for NMJ, though he also uses 你 in 被你.

CQL

NMJ: 好我告诉你我刀下亡魂无数可我绝不会为了一己私欲而杀人更不会为了向上爬而杀人 Well. I can tell you. So many had died under my blade. Neither would I kill anyone just for my own satisfaction. Nor would I kill for promotion.

MDZS

NMJ: 好！我回答你。我刀下亡魂无数，可我从不为一己私欲而杀人，更绝不为了往上爬而杀人！ Good! I’ll give you my answer. Countless souls who have fallen under my saber, but I’ve never killed out of my own desires, much less to climb up the ladder!

This is an interesting reply on a couple of fronts. First, it seems worth noting that having been born as the heir of a major sect leader, the only person he could have really killed to climb up the ladder would be his father. NMJ's principles here are of the kind that cost him exactly nothing. Similarly, whatever he might characterize as satisfaction or greediness or selfish desire or whatever, we might note that NMJ clearly regards himself as entirely entitled to judge and kill for moral reasons, and conversely he has never known the lack of security and power—physical, social, material—that might drive a man to kill for reasons other than righteous judgement…or including righteous judgement but not being in a social position NMJ recognizes as a legitimate dealer of said judgement. There's a certain quote about the law and its majestic equality that rather comes to mind.

Second of all, this is a very odd characterization of JGY's killing. The 'certain cultivators' JGY is talking about are the Nie cultivators at Sun Palace, possibly also the Nie captain or Jin captain. It's…you could say? That the Nie or Jin captain at least was for JGY's own satisfaction, though NMJ would certainly have killed anyone who treated him like that and especially insulted his mother like that. But it's not at all obvious how it leads to climbing the ladder (unless I suppose you argue that the Jin captain killing was part of his setup as a spy, but at any rate I don't think NMJ thinks so). And /neither/ of these seem accurate for JGY's killing of the Nie cultivators at Sunshot! He was keeping his cover, and with that cover kept he proceeded to save NMJ's life and kill WRH. Now, it's true that this led to his legitimation, and he probably did go undercover in large part because he wanted his father's recognition, but characterizing this as killing out of a desire for promotion seems…a stretch, to put it mildly. Killing the Nie cultivators directly doesn't get him anything but his life. "You only killed my men so you could stay alive, which means you could save my life and kill WRH, thereby pretty much winning the war for us, which made you famous, therefore you only killed my men to climb the ladder!" The logic is kind of tortuous. If anything, what NMJ is upset at him now is for refusing to kill someone, refusing because of his own selfish desires and desire to climb the ladder, etc etc.

CQL

JGY: 大哥我明白您的意思了您是不是想说您所杀者全部都是罪有应得那么敢问您是如何判定一个人是否罪有应得您的标准就一定公正吗若我杀一人活百人这是功大于过还是罪有应得欲成大事总要有些牺牲的 Da-ge. I see what you mean now. Are you trying to say you kill all of them for justice? Please allow me to ask this. How can you judge whether one should be killed as a punishment? Are your standards necessarily just? If I can kill one for saving a hundred, that's "merits outweigh shortcomings" or "just punishment"? To achieve something great, there must be some sacrifice.

MDZS

JGY: 大哥，我明白您的意思了，您是不是想说，你所杀者全都是罪有应得？那么敢问，您如何判定一个人是否罪有应得？您的标准就一定是正确的吗？设若我杀一人活百人，这是功大于过，还是罪有应得？欲成大事，总要有些牺牲的。Brother, I understand what you mean. Are you saying that all of the people you killed deserved their deaths? Then, may I ask, just how do you decide if someone deserves death? Are your standards absolutely correct? If I kill one but save hundreds, would the good outweigh the bad, or would I still deserve death? To do great things, sacrifices must happen.

When it comes to the question about what it means if JGY kills one to save a hundred, the Chinese is almost identical: 设若我杀一人活百人这是功大于过还是罪有应得 in MDZS, and then in CQL it drops the 设 from the beginning, although I don't think that really results in a change in meaning (?) But the second part is translated differently in the ER translation (would the good outweigh the bad, or would I still deserve death?) vs the CQL subs (that's "merits outweigh shortcomings" or "just punishment"). I just mention this because I'd always interpreted JGY's question in CQL as being about his own hypothetical killing, but I think it makes more sense as being about his own moral standing in NMJ's eyes after said killing; it's hard to see how killing one to save a hundred could qualify as the one being justly punished, but of course it's something you could think JGY should be punished for.

CQL

NMJ: 那你为什么牺牲你自己你比他们高贵吗你跟他们不同吗 Why don't you sacrifice yourself then? You're more precious than them? You're different from them?

MDZS

NMJ: 那你为什么不牺牲你自己？你比他们高贵吗？你和他们不同吗？ Then why don’t you sacrifice yourself? Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?

One thing I think that is worth noting about the original text here. When JGY was saying that NMJ was of noble birth, the phrase he used was 你出身高贵—this is true in MDZS and CQL both. NMJ's second question, here, is 你比他们高贵吗？ Observe, again, the 高贵. The ER translation preserves this parallel by using 'noble' in both (and from what I can tell from Pleco it has a not dissimilar double-meaning to 'noble' in terms of referring to both good character and substantial privilege), but it's lost in the CQL subs. I think it's important to note because at this point I think JGY would be pretty justified in concluding that NMJ hasn't been listening to a word he's saying; he /is/ different, precisely because his background is /not/ more noble.

CQL

JGY: 是我和他们当然不同 Yes! Of course I'm different.

MDZS

JGY: 是。我和他们，当然是不同的！ Yes. I and they, of course we are different!

Again, what he affirms here is the difference, not the being more noble; and again, it's very true that he's different, precisely because of his less-noble background.

CQL

NMJ: 混帐娼妓之子无怪乎此 Bastard! I can't expect more from the son of a whore, can I?

MDZS

NMJ: 娼妓之子，无怪乎此！ It’s no wonder, coming from the son of a prostitute.

CQL adds the 'Bastard!', which MDZS doesn't have. I have no idea if it conveys the illegitimate child meaning in Chinese as well, or if it's just an insult.

NMJ unsheathes his sabre and points it at JGY, then, in CQL but not MDZS, staggers as the qi-deviation sets in.

CQL

JGY: 大哥又该给您弹清心音了 Da-ge, it's time for Cleansing Music.

JGY: 大哥自从二哥教了我清心音之后每次给您清心凝神都是我来做的 ��也没有劳烦过二哥 Da-ge, ever since er-ge taught me Cleansing Music, Every time you needed to settle your mind, it's always me who played the music. We never bothered second brother again.

JGY: 大哥不要怪小弟说你你也太不细心了你竟然没有发现我弹的请心音和二哥弹的有什么不一样吗 Da-ge, please forgive my impudence but you can't be more careless. Didn't you notice any difference between the Cleansing Music played by me and that by er-ge?

None of this is in MDZS, of course. Interestingly, at one point JGY refers to himself as 小弟, xiao-di, which I don't believe he does otherwise (at least in MDZS; I can't speak to CQL). I think it's also worth noting that we're not actually given a timeline here on how long JGY has been playing Turmoil, just 'ever since er-ge taught me Cleansing Music'—I think people sometimes believe, possibly from this, that the Turmoil-playing was going on for quite a while in CQL? But we do get a timeline from WWX, later, at the beginning of ep 43: "three months," which is not so long, after all.

MDZS

LXC comes out of the palace, sees what's happening, unsheathes Shuoyue

LXC: 你们又怎么了？ What happened, this time?

JGY: 没怎么。多谢大哥教诲。 Nothing. Brother, thank you for your advice.

NMJ: 你不要拦着！ Don’t hinder me!

LXC: 大哥你先把刀收回去，你心神乱了！ Brother, sheath your saber first—your mind is in turmoil!

NMJ: 我没乱。我清楚自己在干什么。他无药可救，再这样下去非害世不可，早杀早安生！ I am not. I know what I’m doing. He’s beyond hope. If these keeps on going, he’ll do the world harm for sure. The earlier he’s killed, the earlier we can relax!

LXC: 大哥你这说的是什么话？他这些天清河兰陵来回奔波，难道只能换来你一句无药可救吗？ Brother, what are you talking about? These past few days he has constantly been rushing to and fro between Lanling and Qinghe. Is it only in exchange for your comment that he is beyond hope?

(This causes NMJ to pause)

LXC (to JGY): 三弟，你回去吧，我和大哥说。 You can go back. I will talk to our eldest brother.

LXC (to NMJ): 大哥，你怕是不知，三弟现在处境真的很不好。 Brother, I am afraid that you do not know. Our third brother really is in a terrible situation as of the moment.

NMJ: 在他的口里，他仿佛永远处于水深火热之中。 In his words, he seems like he’s always in awful situations.

LXC: 谁说不是呢。他方才是不是顶撞你了？你看他以往会这样吗？ Who says he is not? A moment ago, he talked back to you, did he not? Do you think he used to do this?

LXC: 他母亲原本就不喜他，子轩兄逝世之后，对他更是动辄打骂。他父亲近来也听不进他的话，将他上交的提案全都打回了。 His mother never liked him to begin with. After ZiXuan-xiong passed away, she often hit him and scolded him. These days, his father also refuses to listen to him. He returned all of his proposals.

LXC: 暂时别逼他太紧吧。我相信他清楚该做什么。只要多给他一点时间。 For the time being, let us not force him with too much assertion. I trust that he knows what he should do, as long as we give him some more time.

NMJ: 但愿如此。 Hopefully so.

Just as JGY's dialogue about his doing something different with clarity isn't in MDZS, LXC intervening and saving JGY isn't in CQL. I think it's worth noting: in MDZS, JGY would very likely have been killed by NMJ if LXC hadn't intervened. Certainly JGY cannot hope to match NMJ in combat. But in CQL, we see no such intervention! Rather, he survives because NMJ qi-deviates; which is to say that in CQL, JGY /only survives the stairs incident because he has already been playing Turmoil to NMJ/. I think this is very much worth taking into account when one considers the morality of JGY's actions towards NMJ in CQL.

CQL

NMJ: 你你竖子敢你 You! You! You lout! How dare you!

MDZS

NMJ: 竖子敢尔！ How dare you!

As with LXC's introductory dialogue, in MDZS the section this comes from isn't the stairs incident, but just before NMJ's qi-deviation in chapter 50. It's worth noting I think that what he's saying How dare you! about there is not JGY's confession that he's been doing something differently with the Song of Clarity, but rather that JGY is privately complaining to LXC about NMJ's treatment of him, treatment that includes kicking him down the stairs and calling him son of a whore.

(Previous)

#long meta #anger burned in his heart #more than one tag could contain #we can't change places

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jamestrmtx · 4 years

Text

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Three | sans. (Part 1 of 3)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

meet me by the train station.

the place's bustlin' and tori's here with me, just in case you're worried 'bout meeting a stranger all alone.

That's surprisingly thoughtful.

And I'm guessing Tori means Toriel?

The goat lady who looked after Frisk?

yup.

she's gotta go deal with some legal stuff 'bout us living on the surface, so she can't stay for long.

but she'll still be here by the time you get there.

Hmm…

Now that just makes me more suspicious of you.

Tell me why it's important that only you specifically want to talk to me about this?

Doesn't Toriel know about what happened down there, too?

yeah, but…

i need to talk to you about somethin' else.

stuff that'll probably be a lil' difficult for me to explain, but that you should still know, being frisk's parent and all.

Now I'm curious.

I'm stuck in some traffic, but I should be there soon.

Would it still be okay with Toriel if I get there in the next ten to fifteen minutes?

textin' while drivin'?

My aunt chose to drive me here.

'Cuz she also said she doesn't trust the whole situation much.

heh.

alright.

tori says it's fine. she doesn't need to leave in the next hour so…

see ya soon, (l/n).

See you soon, mister Serif.

"How's he gonna know who you are if only you have a picture of him?" you aunt asks, eyes locked on the road. Her bright red nails, just as flashy as the rest of her outfit, glisten under the sun, fantasy jewellery and wrist watch doing the same. Her tanned skin almost glows with health in comparison to yours, yet to be healed from the past two months of tension and wait. There's also her signature and almost hair salon professional level of cleanliness when it came to grooming her hair, making her overall, outer appearance far more different and striking when compared to you.

"(Mom/Dad)'s all over the news now!" Frisk says, answering her question before you can even word your thoughts out in mind, too busy noticing how much you've let yourself go in so short of a time.

You plug your phone to the car charger and meet with the side view of your aunt's face. "Like Frisk said. The guy I'm meeting says my face's been thrown out on the news a lot lately, so he already knows what I look like." You pull down the mirror and take a quick look at yourself, eye bags and stress acne now partially covered with a cheap, (s/t) foundation and expression made to look less tired thanks to a full eight hours of sleep. Still, you're far from looking anywhere near to the days before Frisk's disappearance or all the pictures displayed on the news, these from a similar time. All the stress and constant sorrow was still present on most of your features, from something as subtle as the loss of brightness in your eyes to something as noticeable as the drag in your walk and the small slump in your posture.

"Do I look okay, auntie?" you ask, taking advantage of a stop sign.

Brenda spares a quick but meaningful glance at you and a small smile manages to show on her face. She stays quiet even as her eyes go back to facing the road. At a second stop, this one caused by a red light, she looks at you again, saying, "Why are you so concerned about that, dear? I get wanting to look well and dignified for meeting new people, but this is the third time you've asked me today." She giggles when Frisk does, both apparently sharing the same thought. "You look fine, by the way. Though a bit of rest could do you good." The light changes and she carries on driving, slowing down and turning on the signal when she sees the train station to her left. "How many hours do you work, by the way? If you're still working overtime, you should stop that now. Not only for my dear grandchild's sake, but for you to get your long overdue beauty sleep."

"...Sixty hours a week?" you mutter, already anticipating a dramatic reaction from her. Even Frisk seems to notice your answer's not favourable enough to her, so they brace themselves by grabbing on to their seatbelt and pretending they're not paying attention to the conversation anymore.

Staying true to herself, Brenda almost slams the brakes just as she's halfway into parallel parking and snaps her gaze over to you, eyes wide and mouth agape. "What?!"

"Sixty a week," you repeat, louder now. "I had to get my mind off Frisk going missing somehow, so I... took that chance to save up some more by working overtime."

"That's fifteen hours too much, dear." She frowns. "That's either twelve hours a day for five days a week, or working non-stop every day for at least eight to nine hours! No wonder you look so stressed. What about your friends? Your family? Your coworkers?" She seems to notice why you've lowered your voice and does that herself, reminded over Frisk's presence at the back seats. "Oh, honey…" She sighs. "Did you really just work, eat, and sleep those two months they were gone?"

"...Maybe," you reply, looking away from her. "I just didn't know what else to do, and having free time for myself made me feel more guilty about it. The only time I sat down was to watch some TV for when I couldn't sleep at night."

Your aunt finishes parking and lets out another sigh. A gentler look crosses her eyes and she gives in, letting her body relax. "Do you have enough to get by? Please, be honest with me so I can help you out. Alright?"

You smile back at her and nod. "I have enough now. I'm pretty sure I can get by with a regular schedule again."

"With weekends off?"

"With weekends off."

Her smile grows and she unlocks the car, allowing you to step out. "Be careful out there, alright? Just make sure to call me and I'll head back here straight away if anything strange comes up."

"Thank you, auntie. So I'll pick up Frisk at five?"

"Oh, there's no rush. You can always stay the night, anyway!"

After a nod, you get down from the car, open the back door, and climb onto the empty seat left next to Frisk.

"See you later, dear."

You kiss their cheek and look at the phone resting in their hands. There were plenty of questions you wanted to ask them, such as who was Alphys and how she'd gained enough knowledge to develop something with that level of technology, and why it still worked up here despite being programmed to function at the Underground. You remind yourself of the people waiting for you at the train station and wrestle those curiosities down, setting all questions aside for later. "Be good, okay?"

They nod, sign a "Love you!" with their hand, and hold you back to give you a yellow sticky note, folded in two. "Give this to him. And don't forget he can be unexpected sometimes!"

You sign an "I love you, too" back to them, take the note, and step out of the car, waving at them and your aunt before closing the door and pocketing the note away. It stays unread, and while you'd like to know what's written on it as well as the reasons for Frisk warning you about meeting with that monster in particular, they'd specified it was for more sillier reasons, like that of meeting up with a stand up comedian, or more frankly put: a clown or a court jester.

Now alone, you take out your phone and check the messages, a new one from 'Mister Serif' showing up.

hey, uh…

tori hadda go.

an emergency happened, so now she's gotta rush off to the department to see what's up with some documents she turned in.

i know this seems sus as hell, so just wait for me at a more open area, alright?

stick to anybody you're comfortable with and we'll meet there.

I'm honestly touched at how much you're worried about this.

Though all that just makes me think I'm being catfished even more now.

Are you for real, mister Serif?

Can someone be as observant and thoughtful as you appear to be?

see for yourself.

>> Attachment - 1 image

You can't avoid being taken aback when the monster sends you a picture of himself. It's a definite recent one, given he's sitting by a bench close to the train tracks. He holds up a shaka sign with one hand and a coffee cup on the other. A grin decorates his face and the bright lighting shows the picture was taken just now, sun rays piercing through the windows.

I'm somewhat convinced.

need more proof?

Who are you, my Cinder match?

if u wanna.

Oh God.

You're killing me.

inna good way?

Perhaps.

You stop yourself when you realize you're on the verge of flirting with someone you haven't even met in person yet, let alone introduce yourself properly to. The picture he'd sent doesn't help either, as you can only begin to question yourself and your morals over having found him attractive for a split second. While it could have just as easily been the surprise of him sending a picture out of nowhere, it could've also been how laid-back he seemed in that picture, striking a shaka sign that made him look just like a surfer dude and a coffee cup to contrast with that vibe, adding a spark of the typical college student you saw at campus, his hoodie and sneakers only adding to that feeling.

It's then that you realize something's off.

If he was holding a cup with one hand and a sign in the other…

Then who took the picture?

Though you're pretty sure you're overthinking the situation now, you're still better safe than sorry and take advantage of your recent fooling around with him to pass that worry off as a joke.

Wait a minute, mister Serif.

yeah?

If you're holding a cup with one hand and striking a pose with the other, then who took the picture?

Or did you use your magic for that?

a random dude who looked trustworthy enough took it for me.

he's one of those guys who're totally ok with us living here at the surface, so he just snapped the picture for me and even asked if it was for a date i was gonna meet and all.

no magic needed.

And I'm the President of the United States.

But, seriously now…

Are you for real?

yeah.

>> Attachment - 1 image

The picture displays him with a bearded, brown skinned man clad in a suit and holding a suitcase, looking ready for work. Still, his smile shows little to no seriousness and instead displays youth and content over having his picture taken with a potential friend. His height surpasses the monster's by half a foot, though when you compare it to the rest of the people in the background, it's clear Serif is simply shorter compared to the average human. You try not to let your eyes linger too much on the monster when you're done looking at the man, not wanting to fall into the trap of your mind having found him attractive earlier ago. Still, you can't help yourself and take a more thorough look at him again, seeing him now with his eye sockets closed, almost mimicking a pair of eyelids squinting in joy. His arm's hung over the man's shoulders, and vice-versa.

i made a new pal.

"meet up already!" - his words, not mine.

Trying to be smooth, huh?

maybe.

is it working?

Somewhat.

But...

Strange Cinder date vibes aside,

I'm almost there.

aight.

can't wait to meet ya, bud.

You slip the phone back in your pocket and go up the stairs of the train station, stopping when you make it to the line of benches close to the tracks. True to his word, the skeleton sits on one of them and the man who'd taken a picture with him is now waving at him, seemingly saying his goodbyes and headed off to work. You approach the station one careful step after the other, pace slowing down more and more as you feel a sudden awkwardness slip on your shoulders.

Your texts sent off vibes you didn't want present now that you were about to meet him in person. You were still worried about what happened with Frisk a few days ago, and how their happiness pretty much froze when being asked if the monsters had treated them well during their time at the Underground. The one you were about to meet could very well be one of those who'd hurt them, so you brace yourself and try not to be swayed by the softer atmosphere present during your texting with him. You acknowledge the man who'd taken his picture with a wave and a smile back at him. Then, you continue walking and finally approach the bench.

"It's nice to meet you, mister Serif." You acknowledge him with a wave, unsure of how friendly you can be with him.

"Likewise, pal." He holds a hand out to you, bringing forth the warning Frisk had given to you about him.

Out of all the things Frisk had warned you about, it was to be careful around the skeleton, but primarily due to how he seemed to be the type to joke around and prank people often. One thing in particular you were warned about was in shaking hands with him, so right as he offers his hand out to you and just as you're about to reach out, you miss his hand, take a step closer, and pull him along for a hug instead. You then unfold the sticky note and press it against his back with enough pressure for him to feel it and let go when you're done.

"Frisk warned me about you, and even though they haven't told me anything I should be worrying about yet, I do know I should be careful for other reasons. And they told me to give that note to you, by the way."

You sit down and watch as the monster attempts to get the sticky note unstuck, his short height proving to be a disadvantage, as it also comes with shorter arms. He goes as far as to use his magic to get it out, leaving you to bite back a smile and wonder if you've been too rude with him just now. Still, you wait and keep your eyes on the train tracks while he reads the note you've left for him.

"Not gonna say anything about it?" you ask, surprised to hear nothing from him even as he slips the note in his pocket.

"Patience, pal," he replies, words followed with a chuckle and continued with a wink. "Just take it as some friendly payback on my part -- Now we're even." He sits back down and meets with your eyes, his expression changing from humoured to stern at the drop of a hat. "So, what you're sayin' here is the kid hasn't said much about me yet?"

"No," you reply, hesitating. You fight between keeping a smile and a frown. "They've been awfully quiet after I asked them if there were any people down there who treated them badly." You catch yourself becoming emotional, so you breathe and blink a few times to fight that back. "It... It feels like they shut themselves away from me, and now I'm not too sure about how to approach the situation anymore." You stop to catch your breath again, feeling yourself grow anxious already. "They can talk non-stop when it's about all the good things Toriel, Alphys, Papyrus, and… And even what you did for them, but whenever I ask if there was anything that made them feel unsafe, they… They bottle up and run off to do whatever chore there's left to do around the house."

A gust of wind helps freshen up your burning face, product of a train stopping nearby. You wait for him to speak up, body tensed all the while.

"Y'know, I…" The monster sighs, faces down, and rubs the back of his neck, looking lost in thought. "I think I can answer that for ya, but it's gonna be a bit of a long story." He glances at his phone for a moment, seemingly to check the time, and later adds, "Wanna head out somewhere to eat? We can talk about it there over food and drinks. Better than talkin' on an empty stomach, don't you think?"

Despite how somber the mood's become, that trademark grin of his you've already grown used to seems to stand out a lot more now, bringing forth a genuine, welcoming expression in addition to the offer he'd made to you. "Sure," you reply, smile returning. "And... Sorry for dumping all that on you all of a sudden."

You both stand up and make your way out of the station, walking side by side as you continue with the conversation.

"It's cool, pal," he says. "I'd be a lot more worried if you didn't worry about it."

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

-------------------------

This turned out to be a whopping 7k+ word long chapter, so it's been divide into 3 parts (between 2k to 3k words each, which is the usual length of each update).

So... Long story short: there'll be a double update next week in order to post Parts 2 and 3!

Expect the same thing for whenever a chapter exceeds that limit. :-)

#sans x reader #undertale x reader #lgbt #lgbt themes #gender neutral reader #male reader #female reader #mother reader #father reader #parent reader #chubby reader #long fic #romcom #adventure #mystery #platonic relationships #slow burn

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benichi · 3 years

Text

I played Chou no Doku (so you don’t have to) - Majima’s Route

If you haven’t yet I’d recommend to read my [True Route] post before since it makes this route a lot easier to understand and interesting in my opinion. Majima actually has 2 Routes. This is the one which you can get halfway through the story - while the other is basically a parallel universe that splits right at the beginning. Small warning that this post mentions topics like r*pe and s*icide.

After the date with Shiba Yuriko decides to visit Majima since he promised to make her some tea. On the way she laments the loss of her Father. This part is actually pretty sad.

She gets ripped out her thoughts in a very unfortunate way however, a man attacks her from behind, gr*ping her body. Luckily Majima intervenes before anything worse can happen. After he realizes what just occured he decides to take her to his room. He apologizes for not noticing that a stranger had entered the garden and ends up embracing Yuriko

Viva la scent fetish.

She reassures him that it was her own fault for carelessly running around while it’s dark. She states that just being embraced by Majima is enough to partially disparse the terrible experience she just had. He once again vows that he won’t let strangers near the Manor anymore and to stick by her side from now.

Afterwards follow the event of Yuriko being invited to Lady Kyoko’s Party. She doesn’t want to go however, because Majima has indeed been sticking by her side since the incident and she’d rather be with him. As usual he’s by the garden, tending the flowers.

~Something~

They end up going to Majima’s room where he serves her tea as usual.

Tbh hearing Majima call Mizuhito “Master” after he cussed him out in his route made me laugh.

Yuriko explains that her Brother went to Lady Kyoko’s Party which leads to Majima asking if she’s frightened due to what happened - particularly if she’s scared of men.

Choices before disaster. As per usual with these scenes Majima starts the “but I’m a man too u know” talk. Which of course leads to the usual “but you’re different” talk from her side.

Don’t say the “F” word in front of him plz. Majima ends up getting mad, stating that the Princess is too good at “getting under men’s skin”. He eventually calms down and apologizes, but Yuriko decides to return to the Manor. Afterwards follow the events of her Mothers death.

A few days later... Looking back on the recent tragedy Yuriko remembers that her Mother muttered something while passing. She figures that she might be able to solve the mystery of what has been happening to her family by going through her old stuff at the Storehouse. Due to what happened she decides to go on her own instead of depending on Majima. Armed with a dagger that once belonged to her Mother Yuriko is on her way.

After being unsuccessful and nighttime settling in Yuriko decides to head back. However, she is once again attacked by that man from a few nights ago. She desperately tries to fight back but doesn’t stand a chance against such a force. Unconsciously and frustrated by all of the misfortune that has been happening to her Yuriko ends up stabbing her perpetrator, who dies after taking a few ragged breaths.

Majima’s voice can be heard from outside, after entering the Storehouse he’s surprised to find Saburo (the family’s sleazy Servant for those who don’t remember) lifeless on the ground. After Yuriko shrieks he becomes aware of her presence, noticing the bloody dagger in her hands. Shocked she doesn’t seem to realize what has happened. But once realization hits she starts shifting the blame away from herself (this is actually something Yuriko does very often throughout each route which I don’t particularly like about her)

She finishes by stating that Majima hates her, to which he replies that that’s not what he meant that day. To calm her down he...

SWEET HOME ALABAMA... also sweat scent ew.

After she has calmed down Majima apologizes, since if not for the misunderstanding the other day this wouldn’t have happened. After fully understanding the situation Yuriko says that she should turn herself in to the police. Majima has another solution however...

He be showing some of his true colors here.

They decide to go through with the plan and bury Saburo in the garden. The following days Yuriko is on edge, going through countless scenarios of Saburo being found in her head. She’s also worried about her Brother Mizuhito (I feel like i have to point out which Brother now lol) who hasn’t been home for several days. Fujita visits her and states that he wants to investigate about Mizuhito’s whereabouts and also claims that someone saw a man that looked similar to Saburo. Freaked out she runs to Majima, telling him about what she’s just heard.

This is getting some “ I Know What You Did Last Summer ” vibes

He states that Fujita will collapse soon from all the running around he’s doing and what they were to do if he would also disappear. Yuriko remarks that Majima has been acting odd, almost cold every since that incident. She apologizes for the situation he’s in now due to her actions.

Majima becomes slightly irritated (probably assuming that Yuriko may have figured out that Majima is the mastermind behind everything) but she explains that he’s basically an accomplice now due to her.

He scary.

Unsurprisingly Fujita also ends up disappearing. As Yuriko is desperately waiting by the door for his return a distraught Hideo visits her instead. He informs her that Mizuhito’s body has been found - he’s apparently commited s*icide with one of his s*xual partners. Shocked Yuriko breaks down and ends up fainting...

Someones having a field day over there. But this part is actually quite interesting and explains a lot about Majima as a Character and what happened in his past - so I decided to include as much as I can.

He’s kinkshaming now. I’ll put the rest of his monologue into parenthesis so that I can include more. (”For instance, the heart that leads one to bury the past and have a family, all the while looking like a sinless saint” - about Yuriko’s Father) (”The child knew nothing. He was raised with love, to be a healthy boy. But one day a man barged into the child house, slaughtering - in front of the child - a Maid and her husband who had raised him as their own. He hurt the child too, nearly killing him. But by some miracle he survived. He crawled in the dirt, living for revenge. He decided to take his time to mingle with the dirty beings in the Manor... all for the sake of plunging them into oblivion along with fear.” - about what happened when Yuriko’s Father found out about Shigeko’s incestious relationship and child, Majima.)

After this rather interesting monologue we’re back to Yuriko. She’s the only one left of the Nomiya family now. She says that even Shiba stopped visiting her which, it’s never stated but we can assume, like everything else was done by Majima. Her relatives tell Yuriko to sell the Manor, which she can’t do however since Majima did not only bury Saburo’s body. He’s mutilated it and buried the parts all over the place. What a sweetheart.

We get a romantic scene of Majima punishing Yuriko for “not waking up earlier” and find out that she’s has apparently been selling her body to pay for the Manor. After a bit of back and forth between the two Majima states that he likes the “Princess”, which she returns. Is it just me or has it been way too long since the last time we’ve talked about someone’s scent? Well luckily the game is here to remedy that.

She claims that only Majima can fill her void and that the both of them should stay in the Manor together - forever. She nods to his words since obeying him is the only thing she can do now.

Same. They start to frick frack and this route ends with...

That escalated quickly. An interesting but not necessarily pleasant route. Also for those who are wondering as to why he’s calling Yuriko “pure” here (because I initially sure was, especially after his monologue) he basically sees her as pure so long as she’s unaware of the things that happened in the past. So while in theory she should be “filthy” in his eyes because she’s in love with her sibling by his logic that get’s cancelled out due to the fact that Yuriko never discovered what happened in the past. Or something like that.

#chou no doku #chou doku #ripple effect stories #majima #yuriko

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soyeahitsmiddleearth · 4 years

Note

Hi! I really love your work! could you write something about bilbo and his so who fought with him and the company went home and they had a family? After one day Gandalf Thorin Kili and Fili maybe even Dwalin decided to visit them only to see a cute little red hair girl running inside bilbos house chucking saying “Pa! Visitors visitors!” Or something? Them: omg bilbo actually had a family a big happy family please 😤this would make me so happy, I rarely find any fanfics of him so thank you ✨💗✨

—-

You had never intended to fall in love with someone during the journey to help reclaim Erebor.

Naming your future kids after some dwarves was also not on the agenda.

But one thing that you had fully intended for, is revisiting said dwarves once it was all over.

Of course, the one thing on your list that you actually intended to do is the one thing you didn’t do at all, but having them come to you actually might be even better then what you originally had planned.

After your journey to Erebor Bilbo Baggins confessed his more than friendly feelings towards you.

At first, you thought you had been dreaming (and if you were you never wanted to wake up) only to realize that you were, in fact, awake, and gaping like a fish out of water.

Obviously, you told him that you return those feelings and would love nothing more than to be with him back in the Shire, and that’s exactly what the two of you do.

You return to The Shire and he gives you a place to call home, and eventually, get married.

The ceremony was beautiful and emotional, and if it weren’t for the rebuilding of Erebor your dwarven friends definitely would’ve come to visit, but unfortunately they didn’t.

A letter came in for you and Bilbo a while ago that promised the presence of some of the original 13 dwarves you’d traveled with, and while you were nervous to see them for the first time in years, you’re also excited.

You and Bilbo had three lovely children, the eldest being 5, middle being 4, and the youngest at 1 and ½.

One girl and two boys, and naturally you named your boys after Fili and Kili (more or less), and your daughter you named Thora (a tribute to Thorin since you couldn’t very well give your daughter such a masculine name lest she get teased).

It may seem a little silly to name your children after three dwarves who you only knew for a year, but truthfully that year felt more like a life time. And when you cry, bleed, and see someone in their worst moments, it’s only natural that you would share a bond closer than brotherhood.

You and Bilbo love them in your own way, and there’s nothing that would make you feel otherwise.

Thora is your oldest, and she loves to boss her brothers around unsurprisingly. Meanwhile, Fillion is your second oldest and Killian your youngest. It’s funny in some ways how perfect it all ends up being, but you think it’s nice anyways.

Bilbo is rushing around the house making sure everything is clean and ready for their arrival while you hold Killian and his siblings play, and it’s really a funny sight.

He’s running around like crazy, straightening things, moving them, placing blankets over other things; it’s pretty cute, honestly.

The sweet dear has been excited about this moment for weeks now, stocking up on food and cleaning nonstop, and now that the day has arrived it’s as if all his excitement and stress over the past while has all come rushing back down on him at once.

“Bilbo, my dear please, if you keep running around like that you’re going to make yourself dizzy.” You say with a lighthearted smile, rocking back and fourth with the small child still nestled in your arms.

Said hobbit halts all frantic movements at the sound of your soothing voice, and once his shoulders relax and he stops speeding around, you walk over and hand Killian off to him with a smile on your face. “Isn’t that much better?”

The small hobbit child lays his head on his fathers shoulder and closes his eyes like the sleepy baby he is.

A fond smile works its way onto your face, but before you can comment on how cute it is, there is a knock on your door.

You and Bilbo are in the pantry so you’re not visible to the door, but you don’t have to look out the window to know who it is.

At first, you don’t move and only look at Bilbo, but Thora takes yours and Bilbos silence and stillness as a sign for her to open the door.

She runs over happy and yells, “Ma! Pa! We’ve got visitors!” Before opening up the door.

“Oh, my! Who is this?”

You know that voice.

You step out of the pantry and smile brightly, “Gandalf!” Before running over to greet the elderly wizard joyfully.

“Ma? Who is this?” Thora asks, looking up at you as she goes to hide behind your skirts shyly.

“Oh, my sweet girl this is the very man who introduced me to your father!” You reply happily, lifting her up in your arms and setting her on your hip while you move out of the way for Gandalf to come in.

Only to realize he’s not alone.

They must’ve all traveled together, because just behind the wizard is Thorin, Fili, and Kili.

Your smile brightens exponentially and you call for Bilbo, “Well, will you look at that! They’re all here at once!”

Bilbo comes speed walking around the corner with a smile on his face and Killian still clutching onto him, “You’ve all made it just on time!”

Thora starts to squirm and kick so you can put her down, and as soon as she’s back on the ground she runs off to Fillion who is peeking out at everyone from behind a wall, his shyness very apparent at the moment.

“Y/N! Bilbo!” Kili calls with a large grin of his own, stepping in after his uncle and brother with his arms outstretched.

Right away you and your hobbit go in for hugs (putting Killian own on the arm chair for a moment since he’s a big boy), and once all the embracing and niceties are done with you close up the door and offer up the coat rack incase they want to rid themselves of their heavy jackets.

Bilbo stands in front of all of them, looking up at the three with excitement shinning in his eyes, “You made it.”

“Well, of course we did. We tried our hardest to be here on time, you see.” Thorin explains, placing his hand down on Bilbo’s shoulder. “My nephews were overwhelmingly excited.”

“I should hope so. Free food has always been their favorite.” You joke, pausing when you feel a little tug on your dress.

You look down and see Fillion half hidden by your skirts, and you lean down a bit, “Don’t by shy, Fillion, say hello.”

“Fillion?” Fili asks suddenly, looking down at the young hobbit with a smile brightening his face. When Fili looks at him he runs off.

“Yes, I hope you don’t mind. We stole some of your names- more or less.” Bilbo replies, rocking back and fourth while he holds Killian.

“Some of our names?” Kili asks hopefully, looking between the two children they have yet to learn the names of.

“Right, this little dear,” you pause while you pick up the youngest of your 3 children again, “Is Killian, and my sweet girl over there is Thora.”

Gandalf chuckles at the obvious parallel between your children’s names and the three dwarves left in awe over the namesake of the little babes, but he doesn’t stick around and instead heads toward the kitchen.

“Y-You named your child after me?” Kili asks with wide eyes filled with no small amount of shock or joy.

You nod your head and laugh, bouncing him on your hip a few times much like you did with Thora. “I’m afraid so.”

The smiles on their faces are full of delight and it makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, and Bilbo feels the same way.

Kili stares at Killian for a moment with no small amount of fondness, and so you slowly ask, “Would… you like to hold him?’

A moment of silence passes by before Kili nods his head eagerly and holds out his hands for you to pass off the small hobbit to him. And you do just that.

Killian is so small in his hands it makes you laugh happily, and when Kili looks at him, your son just looks up at him in return for a moment before laying his head on the dwarfs shoulder much like he did with Bilbo. Kili turns slowly with him to look at his brother and uncle, absolutely ecstatic, as he whispers giddily. “Look!”

Fili steps closer and looks down at the small boy, then over at you and Bilbo who watch on fondly, “You really named your children after us?”

“We did.” Bilbo confirms, looking over to Thorin who has been rather quiet.

The expression on his face can only be described as calm euphoria, and when he notices you and Bilbo looking at him expectantly. “Forgive me, I’m just in awe at the moment I’m afraid.”

Thora walks back over with a tight grip on Fillion, smiling up at you when she drags the shy boy over, “I got him, momma.”

“Thank you, Thora. Now, come say hello to Thorin, Fili, and Kili.”

She smiles up at the dwarves with a toothy grin, waving before grabbing her brothers hand and making him wave too, “Hello!”

Thorin leans down and pats her head gently, “Hello my dear, I am Thorin.”

She’s quiet for a moment before her eyes become all big with wonder, “The king from the stories my Da told me?”

Said king glances over at Bilbo with a raised eyebrow, and Bilbo’s face becomes slightly red while he nods. Once Thorin has confirmation he looks back at Thora and nods as well, “It appears so.”

“W-Wow!” She gasps, covering her mouth with her little hands, “Did you all really fight a dragon?” She asks with a whisper, looking over at Bilbo, “I think he made that part up.”

“No, it’s quite true. A grand, red beast by the name of Smaug that could breathe fire. Your father outwitted him when we sent him in to find my Arkenstone.”

Fillion, who is hiding behind your dress again, looks up at you with wide eyes, “Ma, did you hear that?”

“I was there too, you know.” You chime in with a pout.

“But of course! How could we possibly forget about the brilliant healer Y/N?” Kili adds with a chuckle, having since taken a seat on your chair with Killian sitting in his lap.

“That’s more like it.” You grumble, leaning down to pick up Fillion who giggles when you lift him so suddenly. “Hear that, my son? Your mother is just as amazing as your father, this time.”

He nods his head and looks back over at Thorin and Thora, his shyness dissipating while he listens in on Thorin’s description of the event with Smaug.

Fili walks over and looks down at you and Fillion with a softer smile, “Hello.” He greets your son gently, not wanting to scare the poor boy.

Fillion looks up at him nervously for a moment, glancing at you; but when you only offer a reassuring smile and dip your head forward, he says hello back. “M-My name is Fillion.”

“And mine is Fili.” The blond responds with that same soft expression on his face.

The young hobbit giggles lightly at that and mumbles, “That sound’s like my name…”

“It does, doesn’t it?” He muses, reaching up to pat his head lightly. “I think it suits you.”

“Really?” Fillion asks with big eyes again, looking over at you with a smile.

“Aye.” Fili responds, dropping his hand back to his side.

“Fillion, would you mind if Fili held you?” You asks quietly next to his ear, giggling quietly when he nods eagerly and reaches his hands out towards the dwarf.

Fili takes him without hesitation and lifts him up to sit on his shoulder, laughing a bit himself when he squeals happily and kicks his legs.

And then there’s a loud shriek.

You turn quickly and see that Killian is laughing quite heavily.

Killian is holding onto Kili’s fingers while said dwarf dips him down and pulls him back up again, each time he does it drawing a fresh wave of giggles from the small boy. It’s quite a cute sight, and it fills your heart with warmth.

Bilbo walks over to you now that the attention of your children has been stolen away from the two of you and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pressing a kiss against your cheek gently, “I knew they would love them.”

“Who? The kids, or the dwarves?” You joke, laying your head down on his shoulder.

“Whichever comes first.”

A moment of silence passes by while you watch them all interact with your kids like natural fathers themselves when a thought suddenly strikes you.

“We’re going to have to check their pockets before they leave.”

“Oh, certainly. I think Kili is already trying to see if Killian will fit in his jacket.”

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