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#xisuma
arekayic · 2 days
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they’re so little… hermitito 🤏
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l-just-want-to-see · 2 days
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hermitcraft season 10 so far includes a goat creeper going on his nth villain arc because of sand while two bystanders decide to make it worse through salmons, someone’s mental state being strongly affected by Minecraft fishing rates (not anymore tho stay safe out there), revolutionary mailing systems being installed, two guys building beautiful buildings while being passive aggressive about horses, the ocean and snails haunting the narrative, the server admin creating a system so that people that make a lot money from sales can spend it on trophies (really a fancy name for “taxes”), dog that has been meaning to be fired the whole time, essential government worker that hasn’t been seen in like.. the last decade etc etc. in the meantime zedaph is taking his mending villager on top of a chicken for a walk in the background
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girlithinkimgay · 2 days
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grian: this is x, short for xisuma
grian: this is gem, short for geminitay
grian: this is joel, he's just short
joel: ...
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Random headcanons
Bdubs has terrible balance
Cub does cooking shows with weird/disturbing ingredients
Doc is obsessed with k dramas
Etho Likes eating stones
False once broke all her bones because of an incident with a frog
When gem has antlers she will just rip them out an use them as a sword
Grian is afraid of flys
Hypno used to watch those mystery egg openings
Impulse and Skizz once started a revolution in their school
Iskall sometimes takes out his mechanical eye to scare people
Scar likes sniffing glue and markers
Jevins favourite song is Barbie girl
Joe hills can sleep absolutely everywhere, even upside down
Keralis hasn’t slept for 325 days he is going for 360 days
Mumbo collects glass
Pearl can walked on her hands for 200 days once
Ren has an outfit for everything but doesn’t wear it
Joel hates olives but loves pickles while Lizzie loves olives and hates pickles
stess, Cleo and zedaph have a gossip meeting every Wednesday
Tango is good at making ice sculptures
Beef, Wels and Xb have knitting Club Xisuma sometimes joins
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we all love to talk about how insane mumbo and grian are for eachother or how ethubs is so real or rendoc is actually borderline endorsed or how boat boys never stops talked about eachother. keralis and X are so obsessed with eachother and none of you are talking about it enough
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hermitcrimes · 1 day
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Xisuma's crimes of episode 20
Shoplifting
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kiwiiimiwiiiii · 2 days
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I totally didn't spend about 1-2 hours calculating through every hermits episode lengths
but I do mysteriously happen to have all that data on hand now.. [26th of March, 2024]
the hermit with the most minutes of episodes out there is:
Docm77 - 10hrs 20mins
followed by
Iskall - 8hrs 59mins
xB - 8hrs 12mins
so far we have the least minutes of...
ZombieCleo - 2hrs 36mins
The longest episode by far is by:
Docm77 - 2hrs 56mins 8secs
And the shortest by:
False - 16mins 16secs
Xisuma gets an extra mention for having the most episodes out right now (22 ep.) that are all a consistent 20mins long!
With Xisuma in the lead of episode amount he is closely followed by:
Wels - 17 episodes
Iskall - 16 episodes
Ren - 14 episodes
Stress - 14 episodes
[this is by no way judging any hermit for their episode lengths or amounts! pure statistics for the fun of it.]
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theimpishknight · 24 hours
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Admittedly, I forgot to close the reference picture of my X, however, I don’t think it ruins the image.
Also lmk if yall like this style
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writingpencil · 3 days
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The Rift
From the forming rips in the earth’s beautiful skin glowed purple; brilliant rays of lavender and magenta combined, with beams of light matching the stars, created wounds that expanded across all of the horizons. Buildings were cracked in half, shattered like feeble glass, and others disappeared entirely, neverminding who or what was inside. Villagers and animals ran from the purple, many unable to escape, crying out for the guardians of the continent.
The Hermit of the mines, TFC, had felt the earthquakes long before they arrived. He noticed the way the monsters began to cower, even ran past him, and how the bats flocked to him for protection. The older man was the first to encounter a rip in the underneath. It had nearly swallowed him whole if not for his quick thinking. TFC gathered up everything he could as the earth rumbled - including the bats - and scrambled out of his mines. Thankfully, the miner sustained few injuries. It was TFC, accompanied by a bird, who reported the strange phenomenon that allowed the other Hermits - the supposed guardians - to act.
Several Hermits had spread out, saving who and what they could. False had led the recovery charge, commanding her fellow Hermits with the grace of a true warrior. However, even with her leadership on the surface, many were unable to be helped. For every shulker of valuables Etho gathered, Beef lost several cattle. For every villager Stress saved, Tango wasn’t able to save entire farms - losing pounds upon pounds of redstone. It was a game of balance, an ability to win but with cost, and no Hermit knew how long they had.
In the meanwhile, the Admin had the rest of the Hermits at the source - as close as they could be, housed in the Entity that seemed unaffected. The Rift had grown significantly bigger, swallowing Grian’s base whole without thought, creating a massive crater. As if it couldn’t get any worse; Xisuma had started looking through code hours ago, but what was dubbed the Rift left no error in the code. There was nothing he could trace, nothing he could find, and nothing he could do. Xisuma looked at the Hermits who were’t on recovery. Iskall and Mumbo were some of the best redstoners, Doc was immaculate at breaking the established universe, Grian caused the entire mess, and Scar was leaning out of the Entity, trying to touch the Rift.
“Scar, no!” Grian grabbed Scar and pulled him back. 
“Get a hold of yourself, Scar!” Doc yelled, pausing his pacing to do so.
Scar blinked. “But it reacts!-”
Xisuma shushed them. “We can’t lose a Hermit. Scar, stay away from any exits.”
“Why am I here then?!” Scar asked, confusion painted in his face.
“You’re-...” Xisuma stuttered. “You’re a terraformer! The Rift is terraforming the earth! We might- we might need you…”
“It reacts…?” Iskall mumbled, grabbing a piece of wood from a chest. The redstoner knelt by the entrance and threw the wood toward the edge of a deep chasm. He jumped back in surprise when a wave of purple snatched the piece of wood, pulling it into purple. “You guys saw that, right?”
Mumbo nodded, kneeling beside Iskall while Doc stood over them. “Why isn’t it doing that to the Entity?”
“It’s the Entity.” Grian answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“It could… be a safe space.” Doc said, moving the two redstoners aside to stick his hand out, only to pull it back when part of the Rift extended toward him. “It’s a safe space, oh dear malarky- Grian, how did you do this?!”
Grian scrambled. “I-I built it! It’s just colored glass and ender rods!”
“Ender rods…” Iskall tapped the side of his index to his lips. “Ender rods don’t have a history of teleporting items or people… but maybe there’s something in the glass its reacting to?”
“Glass is just sand-” Mumbo pointed out. 
Doc let out a frustrated hiss .”Sand heated at one thousand degrees celsius -  four thousand at fahrenheit… All of that done in furnace without us interfering. Nothing should’ve gotten into the glass-”
“Well, something did.” Mumbo said.
Xisuma checked the coding once more. “I still can’t find anything wrong with the code. We’re gonna have to go with the natural world explanation - as much as we hate it.”
“Or the unnatural.” 
The Admit and Hermits looked at Grian, who approached the entrance with hesitation. His eyes of lack coal stared at his creation, his wings and body tense. 
“Grian…?” It was Scar who called out his name. 
With a sigh, Grian rapped his knuckles against the stony walls of the Entity.
“Get us down there.” Grian commanded, a faint purple glow appearing on his forehead, under his mess of curled bangs.
The Entity slowly began to move, its heartbeat becoming more alive, surprising the Admin and other Hermits. While the others grabbed on for dear life, Grian stayed standing at the entrance. Once the Entity stretched its legs, it began to crawl toward the crater, walking on the Rift as if it was another floor. Several chests slide around, but never went far, unlike the panicked screaming of the others.
Finally, the Entity stood at the bottom of the rift crater, where the living galaxy’s stars were most intense and clear. 
Grian patted the Entity with a smile. “Good interdimensional being, good Entity.”
There was rumbling in the walls of the Entity, mimicking that of a purr.
“G-Grian… what the heck?!” Xisuma was panicking, more than he should. He witness the entire moon crashing onto a continent, yet a moving rock with legs is what scared him most.
“One problem at a time?” Grian looked down at the portal-esque galaxy. “This is as close to the source as we can get without getting absorbed.”
“As close, he says.” Iskall rubbed the stress away from his eyes.
“Yeah,” Mumbo followed. “As if we aren’t standing on it!”
Doc went by Grian’s side. “Wow… it’s kinda pretty…”
“Don’t get pulled in.” Grian warned, sending a glare Scar’s way. “This should help, right?”
“Grian…” Xisuma said, slowly, as if a warning. “Come here.”
Confused, the avian approached. “What is iiiiiiit- oh my Void-”
On the screen of code, the code had switched from the common tongue the hermits agreed on using, to one of ancient history. Grian’s eyes grew wide seeing it.
“Why would it…”
“And,” Xisuma added. “Yours and the Rift’s coding is the exact same.”
There was a moment of silence.
“What?” Mumbo was the first one to speak.
Xisuma nodded. “Furthermore… only a section of the Rift is present. The rest of the Rift - all the chasms and holes - are not showing up. Does this symbol look familiar?”
Grian tared at the screen, slowly nodding. “That was the original Rift…”
“As much I don’t want to say it… G, the Rift is connected to you-”
“I know.” Grian cut Xisuma off. “I know what I have to do.”
“What do you have to do?” Iskall asked. 
Grian went back to the entrance then tapped on the Entity’s walls. “Let me leave. Get them home.”
“G?” Scar took a hold of Grian’s arm, pulling him back. “What are you doing?”
Grian paused, avoiding looking Scar in the eyes. “S-... say hi to Jellie for me, okay?”
“Wh- Grian, what are you talking about? What are you planning?” Scar cupped both of Grian’s cheek, forcing the avian to look at him. “What are you doing…?”
“I-...” Grian closed his eyes, sighing out a deep breath. He took Scar’s hands and set a small, rectangle shaped device in them, not allowing Scar to see. “You and Mumbo take care of him, hear me?”
“Grian?-” Before Scar could utter another word, Grian jumped out of the Entity. “Grian!”
A chorus of Grian’s name could be heard following Scar, all in vain. At once, the Entity scrambled out of the crater. Xisuma and Doc held back Scar, not allowing the terraformer to join Grian. The sudden sound of infinite glass shattering echoed in the Admin and Hermits’ ears, mixing with the quickening thump thump thump of the Entity’s heart.
The entire world shook at its core, sending waves of pulsing energy, rattling the ground and knocking down all, even the birds and Hermits who were using elytras. Even the Entity lost its footing, causing the few inside to spiral. It seemed to last hours until, finally, everything stopped. The earthquakes ceased, the wounds had healed themselves, leaving no trace of the Rift. 
“Ow…” Scar shoved a dazzed Mumbo off of him. He attempted to stand, but a rush of nausea hit him like a bullet train. His head spun in the worst of ways, so Scar remained lying on the floor of the Entity.
“Is… everyone okay…?” Xisuma sat up, shutting his eyes tightly.
“I’m alive, if that counts…” Mumbo groaned. “I might need to go on another vacation…”
Iskall held up a thumb and Doc hissed lowly.
“Grian…” Scar tried once more to get up. “Where’s Grian…?”
“I don’t know-” Xisuma was the first to stand, stumbling toward the entrance. “... everything looks normal. I think we’re at Mumbo’s vault?”
“Impossible…” Mumbo was second to stand, peaking his head out of the entrance. “I don’t see Grian’s base.”
Doc pulled up Iskall, allowing the shorter man to lean on him. “Wasn’t it swallowed up?”
“I-... excuse me, Mx. Entity?” Mumbo wasn’t entirely sure who - or what - he was speaking to. Or if it would listen. “Can you move? We want to see the bridge.”
Slowly, the Entity hopped down from Mumbo’s vault and turned toward the bridge. The Admin and Hermits felt collective sorrow. Grian’s base wasn’t there, nor was the bridge. Any trace of it was left in the moon shaped portal, more damaged than it was previously.
Xisuma hopped out of the Entity, making sure it was safe before helping the others out. He pulled up the code, finding nothing. “No sign of Grian…”
“Nether?” Iskall asked.
“Where’s the nearest portal?” Xisuma glanced at the moon portal.
Even in the Nether there was no trace of Grian or his influence on the continent. Everything he has built, apart from the Entity, were erased, while every other building was repaired with subtle cracks - like scars. However, all the villagers and animals lost did not return. No amount of searching gave results.
“The only thing left to do is… rebuild.” Xisuma said, once every Hermit was in attendance for the gathering.
They were not about to abandon this continent. Not like the last one. 
This time they all could do something. 
“Hey, Scar?” Bdubs approached the unusually quiet terraformer. “Guess who I found!”
Scar looked at Bdubs, expecting nothing, but being filled with painful joy. “Jellie!”
“Yeah!” Bdubs handed the beautiful cat over, holding back giggles as Scar held her close. “I found her on a tiny island surrounded by the purple stuff before it poofed! She was totally unbothered! She has the luckiest nine lives ever!”
“Thanks, Bdubs…” Scar felt a lump swell in his throat. Cool tears rained down his heated cheeks, falling onto Jellie’s fur. “You… you didn’t see Grian anywhere, did you?”
Bdubs pouted his lips. “No… I didn’t… I’m sorry, Scar.”
“It’s fine.” With a small sniffle, a wipe of his eyes, Scar forced a smile. “He’ll show up, I’m sure of it. Hey, I’ll catch up with you later to help with rebuilding. I gotta do something.”
Bdubs didn’t look convinced, but he nodded anyways. “Okay, dude…”
Scar carried Jellie away, chewing on his lip and peeling the skin off. Jellie mewled in protest, shoving herself against Scar’s mouth to get him to stop. It worked, mostly. At least his hand her occupied. He never opened his other hand, where Grian’s strange rectangle was still waiting to be revealed. Scar wasn’t sure if he should look at it.
It was Grian’s. He said to take care of it- him. Take care of him.
Slowly, hesitantly, Scar unraveled his fist.
“A… tomogatchi?” Scar furrowed his brows in confusion, turning on the rectangular tomogatchi to see if there was anything else. The screen flickered blue, then three lighter blue dots appeared, doing the wave for a few seconds. “What in the Vex- OHMYELVENKISSES-”
Square eyes opened on the device, blinking at Scar as its mustache appeared. Scar nearly dropped the poor thing as text appeared.
Hello!
“Oh my Vex, it talks-”
My name is Grumbot! Of course I talk! He/They please!
“Grumbot…?” Scar could physically feel the buffering circle in his brain. “Oh, from the mayoral campaign! That was a long time ago, oh my Vex-”
Hello, Mr. Scar! Hello, jelly kitty!
“Hi, Grumbot, how- why- I thought you were left in your box?”
No, sir! Not for long! Fathers brought me with them!
“Fathers- right, Mumbo and Gr…Grian…” Scar couldn’t help but frown.
Yes! Where are my fathers, sir? I want to see them!
Scar looked around at the remaining Hermits, seeing if Mumbo was around. It wasn’t hard finding the tall, lanky man of black and red, and Scar nearly sprinted over. “Mumbo! Mumbo, hi!”
“Hi, Scar, I was looking for you-” 
“What a coincidence! I was looking for you!” Scar held up Grumbot. “I think- I think Grian meant to give him to you.”
Mumbo took Grumbot-gatchi and gave the little device a gentle kiss. “Hi, buddy…”
Scar watched Mumbo talk to Grumbot, unable to see the text.
“I’m, uh, I’m alive, Grumbot… Yes, I’ve been eating- no, no projects have been keeping me up. Grumbot-...” Mumbo was silent for a long time. “Grian is gone, Grumbot… we don’t know where he is. And… Grumbot, don’t overheat, we are still looking… Of course I’m not going to abandon you- Scar is gonna help me take care of you, okay?”
“I am-?”
Mumbo looked at Scar with an unreadable look - a mix of glaring and desperation. “Yes. You are. Grian asked you to.”
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myrathefarmer · 2 months
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So long, Season 9!
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theminecraftbee · 21 days
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[image ID: two images. the first is a tweet from Docm77. It reads “For some reason my logo suggestion for my shop was turned down. Can’t imagine why.”
The second is a screenshot of the hermitcraft discord chat, which was attached to the tweet. Doc shares a link to a Belmarzi tweet suggesting a “Big Wood” logo that is deliberately designed so the text is subtly shaped like a dick. The hermits respond:
Hypno: oh my
GeminiTay: [a pepe emote that is sweating with a :| expression, holding up a red sign that says ‘NO’]
Smallishbeans: that’s actually a really clever logo design, completely inappropriate but kinda genius
Docm77: yeah, super genius, lol
Xisuma: [a picard facepalm reaction gif] omg… i was wondering what the big deal was? Took me forever to see it
Docm77: lol
ZombieCleo: That’s a merch logo if I ever saw one /end ID]
putting this on the list with “iskalls villagers” as one of my favorite images of hermit communication of all time i am laughing so much at all of these responses,
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Hermitcraft horse name masterlist:
(Edit: thank you to all the lovelies commenting, there were so many I didn't know <3)
Scar - cOW
Gem - Skipper
Etho - Disappointment
Grian - Pluto (nicknames: Etho and Stinky)
Skizz - Shingles / Gluestick
Bdubs - Climb 10
Rendog - You hate to see it
Wels - Spot
Iskall - Swede-ish, Swede I and II. / Dylan (which is a mule)
Xisuma - nametag
Impulse - Tyler Thee Stallion (old) / Tyler Swift (new)
Pearl - Donkey (which is a mule)
Doc - Donkey (which is an actual donkey)
Tango - Cogsworth
Cleo - Jason Pendergast
Stress - Sir meepsalot
Mumbo - Llama (which is a llama, technically doesn't have a name but that is on purpose)
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shepscapades · 6 months
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I think my current favorite hobby is redrawing little moments from Decked Out streams + episodes as dbhc FGJDFGHK so have a little collection of silly doodles :]
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binibiningdarna · 2 months
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Don’t be mean to him
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dragonflavoredcake · 6 months
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Xisuma: Hey, welcome back to the server! Where are you coming from? Scar: Phasmophobia! Xisuma: Nice! How'd it go this time? Impulse: Scar died like a million times. Scar: Hey! Xisuma: Sounds like a normal day for Scar. Anything to declare? Impulse and Scar: Nope! Xisuma: Then what's in that double chest you're failing to hide? Impulse: Scar: Skizz, inside the chest: Are we in yet?
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seawaveleo · 7 months
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the return of the champion
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