You have such great insights about Eddie Diaz and his parents! I was watching another show where a man was telling his young son that he needed to be the man of the house while he was away because his mother was struggling with depression. The shows a couple decades old, and the spirit of this interaction was not intended to be toxic and was portrayed as “sweet.” On the same show, one of the female characters was telling her daughter that if something happened to her, she would have to take care of her father. But no child, male or female, should have that idea put in their head, even if it is meant to be symbolic (because let’s face it, a child’s not going to suddenly learn to drive before their time or start paying bills!). Very few, if any, children under 17 have the emotional intelligence or capacity to shoulder an adult’s burden, no matter how “mature” they might seem. I think Ramon’s behavior is indicative of a pattern of parenting that was just sadly common in the 90s, and still might be in some families. But good on him for trying to correct it. It is Helena’s turn right now, I know we’ve had limited screen time of her, but she epitomizes toxic femininity IMHO
Hi Nonnie! Oh, thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate them SO much! And I’m so happy you like my views on Eddie. They’re just my own, and people like @gatergirl add their own invaluable insights, so I’m really grateful to everyone talking to me about our fave boys! ^u^
I’m wondering whether you wouldn’t mind telling me which show it is? I’m just so curious if I might have come across it. On the one hand, it sounds familiar. On the other hand, you’re right and it was a very common mentality in older TV show, films and books, just this idea that a kid stepping in for an absent parent is a wonderfully mature step. I think the movie Finding Neverland does a decent job at deconstructing that idea and pointing out that the moment a kid actually has to do that, they have something stolen from them for good. A piece of childhood and of innocence that they will never get back, a sense of security, of being protected by their parents, that’s gone forever. And now I’m thinking of little Eddie forced into that position (and in a different way, Buck as well, since without an actual parent, and Maddie only being able to step in to a degree, he also kinda had to become a bit of his own parent) and my heart breaks all over again.
I’ve not heard the term “toxic femininity” before, but I think we can all instinctively get what it means, and I agree with you so much. It would explain so much about Eddie’s mother, for example it would be a part of why she was giving Shannon a hard time, ‘coz Shannon was “failing” her “duties” as a wife and mother in Helena’s eyes. And then without that feminine mother figure there, Helena wouldn’t be able to conceive how her son would be able to raise Christopher on his own, let alone do it well. Which also fits with why in 315, it very much felt like she was the one leading the Diaz parents’ charge on their son and the pressure to hand over Chris. This POV really makes me wanna see some insights and a breakthrough on Helena’s part even more.
Thank you so much for sharing your own thought about Eddie with us, lovely Nonnie! Hope you have a good day! And as always, here is my ask tag! xoxox)
they were insane for not showing us buck and eddie talking about the hostage situation, or even sitting together, or even looking at each other after that initial scare by the way
and they were even more insane for showing the way eddie’s gaze lingered on buck after he said “im going to go see [my son]” as if he’s expecting buck to follow him or as if he’s remembering the moment where buck defended chris’ name or like he’s waiting for something but buck isn’t really looking at him at all, looking somewhere near the ground like he’s avoiding looking at him directly, only catching glimpse of him through his peripheral vision???
and they were downright unhinged for “did he get to see his son” and the slow pause and look in buck’s eye when he says “no”
since you just rewatched the will scene, you’re legally obligated to tell me and the rest of tumblr the rest of your thoughts
Okay so I've been talking about this in bits and pieces on here all day but here's it all in one piece. It's an essay. Sorry.
I feel like forever and ever (since May 24, 2021) we've been under the assumption that the will scene was a good thing for Buck, which it was, but also that it was a good thing for Buddie, and it wasn’t.
S5 has Buck spiraling like nobody's business. This man was ready to quit the job that he'd fought for, just because he thought he was the one fracturing it. There's precedent for Buck turning a situation that has no clear wrongdoer and making himself the punching bag.
I've been watching the will scene over, thinking that it should've brought Buck and Eddie closer if anything. But S5 is proof that it didn't. And when I rewatched it, I saw:
I call this realization 1 and realization 2. Two different scenes believe it or not!
Oliver Stark is a master of subtlety — we all know this. And just look at how resigned he looks in that second gif. This comes right before he asks “Why did you just tell me now?”
Because, because, BUCK thinks he’s just the back up plan. Because if Eddie were to tell him in any other circumstance, it might’ve been a love confession. Because Buck can’t die — not when there’s Christopher to look after.
Because Buck has spent his entire life hurting himself to get people’s attention, so why would Eddie be any different? This man really thinks Eddie’s affection for him is by proxy — because he needs Buck only. for. Christopher.
This part was probably the most damning for me. Eddie’s saying “You act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong.” And LOOK at Buck’s face. Look at that expression he makes.
But then look at EDDIE. Who thinks this is it, this is what I’ve been holding off confessing for a year. The circumstances aren’t perfect, but of course Buck will take this admittance for what it is, right?
Except, Eddie’s still dating Ana. And Buck (not that Eddie knew it here) is still dating Taylor.
So sure, Buck’s going to stop jumping into fires to climbing up cranes, because he loves Christopher (and he loves Eddie). But he absolutely doesn’t think Eddie returns his feelings — cue distance. Because this time, they’re taking their cues from each other, so the distance keeps growing.
And how can Buck talk about the shooting without admitting what he thought the will was first?
In 6x01 we saw Eddie and Chris with Buck. They were playing scrabble at his place while Buck made dinner. At the end of the episode we see them playing the game alone back at there own place just the two of them. It calls back to the scene earlier of them with Buck. Of course this is when we see Buck choose to be alone for the moment he needs it. Now in tonight’s episode we see Chris want some more independence which makes sense. It also means Eddie will have some more time alone. He can now start to see what he may want outside of fatherhood. Buck was so preoccupied with his own stuff he was zoned out during the conversation Eddie had with the team. One we have seen he would normally be front in center of. Eddie notices this and points it out but Buck shrugs it off. So from the scenes we have seen of Eddie he’s been with his son and Buck. Chris will now want some more privacy and that means Eddie will have some time to think what and who he wants. There storylines were running parallel to each other. Buck still admitting he doesn’t know what he wants be agreeing to be the donor which is was a decision made more on a whim. Buck still deciding what he wants with Eddie trying to figure out a life going forward seems pretty clear to me. A conversation between them would change a whole lot but also show Buck what he wants and what he has. Hen even says she doesn’t want to be home alone with Karen at work and Denny with friends. Who also has a son who wants to spend more time with friends and less with his parents. Which could lead to some more alone time with Buck and Eddie.
Huge development, but different directions.
Ok maybe I'm reading into this too much. Maybe I'm trying to collect every piece of hope for buddie becoming a canon so I won't freaked out over the L word that had been exchanged between Buck and Taylor. But I do want to point out some things about those scenes and Buck’s journey so far. And maybe you can tell me if my feelings are legitimate or not.. Please note that this is my interpretation of this relationship and the way they showed up to me.
first of all, I'd like to say that the BuckTaylor scene from the yesterday's episode kinda confirmed my suspension on this relationship simply because I had a feeling that this is going that way.
Taylor says "I love you "first and that's a huge development for her and well we can debate on the fact that writers give us more of her background information so we can empathize with her or sort of thing. But there's doubt that Buck has influence on her and as I said before he has a huge part of her development that makes her to be open for a serious relationship and be invested on it. That's not a coincidence that in both scenes she was wearing the same shirt in the same color, only different styles as in opened-button v. closed-bottom. This could be a metaphor for her storyline so that we can understand she kind of got her own closure. Or it allso could be mean she finally ready to commit to this relationship and maybe to settle down. Worth to mention that in both scenes she was the one who made the first move and the color of her shirt is a symbol of the transformation and power .
Now, the way Buck did react was off for me tbh. It could be like he considered her feelings and mood so he level down his enthusiasm. Or it could be like he had already doubts about this relationship and maybe he was afraid of her breaking up with him.
Either way, I feel like this is not the way I expected for him to react if he was really in love with Taylor. And the position of his back was in front of her only proves my feelings. I think he may have a second thoughts about their future together, because on 4x14, after the kiss, Buck seemed surprised but a little happy (you could see him almost smiling afterwards). And that's happened before his meeting with Eddie and even before the legal guardianship for Christopher. Buck is very expressive person and just a ray of sunshine. And honestly, he always wanted to be loved and being told that he's loved and when he finally got what he wished for, he just said "good.. I love you too " like this is some kind of statement that he can live with for now. He didn't turn around to Taylor and kiss her first and then say those three words.
Like Taylor, the color of his tee-shirt is also symbol of his development or in this case his direction. Black represents fear and sadness (in the article they mentioned sexuality, so keep in your mind that Eddie didn't wear the black suit for nothing..). So maybe Buck started to think more about what he really deserves and what's really making him feel happy and safe. It could be like since he knows that he's Christopher's legal guardian, he maybe stared to think about the possibility of him being a fully part of Diaz boys.
Because they are still showing us those buddie moments that represent the ultimate perfect relationship. The one that you make it, so effortlessly, wordlessly and unconditionally. The one that both people know each other better than themselves.
So yeah, I think that's going to be a long haul for Buck and Eddie to betogether. It's just going to take a little more time.. be positive ✨
If you made this far, you are incredibly beautiful people ❤ and I really appreciate your time and I hope that it was interesting to you 😊 love you all 💓
If you want to share your thoughts on this, please feel free to send me asks or massages.
9-1-1 S04E06 (spoilers)
I absolutely loved this episode. I laughed a lot, and I cried too, and I got back some of the trust I had lost in the writers with the previous episodes.
I think Ana is an adorable cutie and it’s gonna be good for Eddie to start dating, and like Bobby said, to start healing little by little every day. The man deserves that.
That conversation with Bobby was amazing. It was a great echo of their conversation after the fight club fallout and I love that Bobby and Eddie have that connection, no matter how sad the cause is and that they manage to talk about it. I love how Bobby pushes a little because he knows Eddie needs to be pushed a little, but he does so with kindness and respect.
And maybe Ana will only be here for a short moment, maybe she’s here to stay, who know... either way I'm curious to see how their relationship evolves, and how it's gonna impact Eddie's development. The change has been mostly subtle with him so far, but it was always there and now I like that it’s more obvious.
I also loved the continuity with last episode and Buck not giving up therapy, and his parents making efforts, he so deserves it.
Maybe I’ll expand on this later, with a full meta to include the rest of the episode because there’s more to say about the jinx thing, and Chim and Hen and Athena, but for now these are my first impressions on this week’s episode.
Buddie 608 meta
Buck babysitting Jee Yun was adorable, but what gets to me is that it seemed to come with more question marks than when he was looking after Chris in 301. Does that imply something about how often he babysat Christopher without Eddie present even before that little “intervention”? In any case, it re-affirms that even relatively early on, Buck was very much a part of the Diaz family. ~~
It actually feels weird that in this entire ep, Buck is around kids, talks about kids, but doesn’t address the issue of him possibly fathering a biological kid of his own that he won’t get to raise. Is this a hint that he’s def in denial? It was especially loud because we saw him talking about Chris, while spending time with Jee Yun AND Denny. The former two make sense, but Denny? The only other time we saw Buck around Denny was in 310, when the scene was primarily about Eddie watching Chris with Buck. So it feels like it’s very pointed that he’s around more kids than usual, yet not addressing the biggest issue related to that taking place in his own life.
At the same time, to connect both of the above points, the difference between how we see Buck with Jee Yun, his actual family, in this ep, and how he’s with Denny (he’s in the same scene with him, but hardly interacts with the kid, they’re even physically separated by Hen) serves as a reminder that Chris isn’t like another colleague’s child to Buck. What they have is how Buck treats his own flesh and blood. ~~
Carla reminding Eddie that the fantasy is sometimes better than the reality, when she’s the person who, in 413, encouraged him to follow his heart… Is this the show building towards Eddie’s next step on his romantic journey? IDK, but with this continued theme of him watching Christopher maturing into his own person, leaving him to find out what makes him happy outside of being a dad, it would seem to fit. ~~
I loved Buck asking whether Chris isn’t too young to date, then being asked himself to reminisce about his first crush. Which was in fact way earlier (and a reminder that not every crush is about being old enough to date). It made me snicker a little, ‘coz it was such a good reminder that our boys are a bit oblivious about matters of the heart in general. And yes, it comes from an overprotective place of caring, much like Buck’s reaction to hearing that Chris is going to a summer camp in 318, but it def explains why they’re not very good at following their own heart or figuring out what it’s telling them.
At the same time, Buck asking whether Chris isn’t too young to date, followed almost immediately by Eddie saying he didn’t think his son was old enough to kiss others, screamed VOLUMES to me about how much these are both Christopher’s dads. They literally have the same reaction where no one else from the team does. This cannot be accidental or meaningless. Especially when paired up with the fact that it’s Buck who Eddie looks to first to sooth his apprehension over Chris kissing someone, and he only turns to the other teammates when his work husband is being a bit of a tease and refuses to give Eddie the reassurance he seeks... Flirting at your place of work on top of being obvious co-parents, seriously? ~~
I loved Buck’s comment about the song “It’s Raining Men.” It wasn’t just a funny comment on its own, it was also a nod to a gay anthem. One of the most well known as well as one of the earliest ganthems (that should be a word), in fact. So while it’s not a clear indication of anything about Buck’s sexual identity, it is an added hint in a long series of hints that he isn’t straight. And to add to that, when Buck makes that comment, it’s Eddie who’s there by his side to make one of his iconic faces at that. They’re not just battlefield boyfriends, they’re battlefield husbands, exasperated eye roll included. ~~
NGL, May and her crush Darius realizing where they’d rather be, or better yet with whom, after their ordeal with Erik very much reminded me of 414. Buck CHOSE to fully integrate himself into Eddie’s life and be by his side in every way that counts, while he literally saw Taylor and immediately started walking in the opposite direction, while Eddie broke up with Ana shortly after. It kills me that they still don’t get what stuff like that means. Literal bozos. ~~
Eddie threatening to only speak to Carla about stuff related to his son growing up might have been said in jest, but it also served as sort of a set up for her being the one to stay with Eddie and watch Chris outside the dance. And I adored that scene, with that soft look on Eddie’s face, his moving words! Yet, I can’t see either this arc, nor Buck’s with the sperm donation, being complete without the two of them having a real conversation about what’s going on with them and their respective parental journeys. Especially not after the Buddie stuff we got in 5b which locked them in as each other’s person forever. There’s no coming back from that stuff. So I can only assume that it is coming in 6b. And hopefully, it will be all the more emotionally effective for how long we have to wait for it. Hey, that’s the whole point of a slow burn to begin with, right? ;)
~~ Thank you to everyone liking, reblogging and especially those who consistently reblog these meta posts, you own a small piece of my heart. I wouldn’t be writing a meta post on a day when I’m sick AND working a double shift if it wasn’t my way of saying thank you. I really love and appreciate you all. Also mad love to @whosoldherout for once again slaying with her amazing gifs, and just for being so wonderful. xoxox
Buddie 604 meta
I feel like I deserve a medal for not making a joke about how, since it was implied in 401 that Eddie stayed at Buck’s during the pandemic, we know at some point Buck will have two ex-roommates who want his body fluids. XD ~~
It’s maybe a small thing, but I enjoyed seeing Ramon advise Eddie on his issue with Chris. It was a lovely callback to their promise in 517 to work on improving their relationship, and it also showed really nice insights from Ramon. I loved it! It’s a nice reminder that 911 for the most part doesn’t vilify people, even when it doesn’t shy away from their faults and failures. It’s also proof this is a show that doesn’t drop things once a storyline seems to have wrapped. I adore that about 911, and I also think it makes every single meaningful thing we’ve witnessed even more significant, because we know the show will return to it sooner or later. Like maybe certain scenes between a couple of firefighters? Maybe... ~~
Buck and Eddie exchanging a meaningful look over seeing this oblivious moron in love at the scene of the ep’s first call is giving me life. The wordless communication, the implied sass, the way they’re so in sync, the irony of them being exactly like him except less aware of their own feelings even if they are more aware of propriety. They’re not even teamed up together, because Chim needs Eddie’s medic experience as long as Hen’s still captain, and yet... Buddie are our hopeless romantic idiot kings, while 911 could give entire courses on how to showcase soulmates in less than a minute. ~~
A continuation of that can also be seen in another call. When Buck recklessly hops on the bike to chase and stop a car by almost getting himself killed in order to save Chim, right away we have Eddie calling out after him. He’s so exasperated with his work husband, he’s not even yelling in order to stop Buck, Eddie’s resigned to his husband’s ways. But a good husband still has to shake his head, much like we saw Eddie doing when Buck boldly insisted on the rope rescue in 316. It’s a part of their love language. ~~
All of that stands in contrast with the rest of the ep, where we don’t get to see Buck and Eddie being their usual self, meaning iconic life partners. The thing is, absence can be loud, and something that really makes this absence stand out rather than fly under the radar is contrast. In other words, we’re meant to notice the absence. That loudness is even amplified with the only scene in this ep where we have Buddie interacting in connection to their personal life. Even though they don’t actually get to consult each other, as they usually do, there’s a lot of intimacy there! For starters, Eddie’s surprised that Buck isn’t weighing in on the new issue with Chris.
This is so uncharacteristic, and we only need to think of the way Buck jumped right in with his objections about summer camp in 318 to see the difference. Eddie also believes that there are things Chris may tell Buck but not him. This man is shown throughout this ep having trouble letting go as his son is growing up to be his own person, and yet the one exception Eddie takes no exception to (sorry, bad pun, I know) is Chris filling Buck in on how he’s really doing. Eddie actually expects that to be the case. It’s a subtle, but oh so real acknowledgement that Buck is Christopher’s other dad and that the two of them have a bond that is not limited to the relationship either one of them has with Eddie. I love it. And lastly, of course Eddie can tell something’s up with Buck, troubling him. But it’s also obvious that Buck’s not ready to talk about it yet, with his quick denial of “no secrets here,” so Eddie, like the good husband that he is, lets him be.
Them suddenly dealing with their personal lives separately very much reminds me of basically the mood of most of season 5a. Buck was kept busy with Taylor and away from Eddie, who ended up struggling with how to be a good parent to Chris without the help of his biggest support, his life partner. It led to Eddie making a rash decision that we all knew he would have to find a way back from. If that’s not enough to make us realize Buck’s decision at the end of this ep is probably the wrong one, we also have him being drunk while getting drunk advice from Hen. The last time that happened (and only other one we saw on screen)? When Buck spiraled in 511 over Eddie leaving, and did something rash and foolish.
I tend to think that’s what we’re going to see with Buck now as well. I already was of the opinion that it doesn’t fit Buck as a person, he just cares too much to be the guy who can walk away. His history with Daniel might influence him to wanna help, do for these parents what he couldn’t for his own, but if he does recognize that connection, could he really help bring a new “Daniel” into this world and then... never have anything to do with that kid? But what makes me even more convinced that this decision will be reversed is the build up, showing Buck coming to this conclusion without consulting the one person he actually already shares his life (and a kid) with, and the way it parallels that storytelling structure we saw in s5. In addition, even the way he verbalized it makes me think this is meant to be seen as the wrong decision. Buck is on this journey to figure himself out, yet at the end of the day his decision to say yes isn’t about himself at all, it’s about Connor and his wife. This is who Buck has always been, the guy putting others ahead of himself. There’s nothing wrong with his big heart and generosity! But in an ep called “Animal Instincts,” this has always been he’s instinct. Now he’s meant to learn to balance it with looking after himself and his own happiness, too. So I might be wrong, but I don’t see it ending here. Taylor was a r/s Buck had to have in order for him to learn how to be the one who leaves, now Connor came to him with this request, and we’re gonna get to see him learning to say no. And just like Buck was a part of Eddie finding his way back during season 5b from his wrong decision, that temporary distance between them leaving them closer than ever, so I expect Buck’s sperm donor arc to be resolved with Eddie’s support and with the two of them getting even closer.
~~ Thank you so much for reading this! And for every reblog and like! If you’re interested in catching up, you can find my 603 meta and more on my blog. Thank you to the incredible @whosoldherout who tops posting her amazing gifs every week with providing some more for my meta.
Buddie 601 meta
The ep kicks off with the blimp call, and what I liked about it is that while Buck and Eddie weren’t initially paired up with each other, it quickly became clear that this was done so that at the peak of this emergency, after someone had to already go down with one of the pilots, the person who’ll be left up there with Eddie would be Buck. Battlefield boyfriends ride again! ~~
I love how Eddie right away realized that Buck is feeling off about Lucy having been offered the role of interim captain, and how he and Chim try to ease the tension by joking around. It’s a part of Eddie’s love language when it comes to Buck, because we saw him using this strategy in other situations in the past as well, like in 405. Eddie’s also so in tune with Buck, he’s clearly the first to get what Buck is trying to do during the golf course call. They’re not married, but they’re married.
So it’s a beautiful and rightful extension of that when Buck turns naturally to Eddie with his displeasure over Bobby’s choice of interim captain, and Eddie of course right away guesses the part that Buck was having trouble vocalizing. Get yourself a partner like that. This is true love and intimacy at its finest. ~~
Holy shit, the absolute mad levels of domesticity in the Buddifer scene! I mean, I’ve said before that 911 somehow keeps making these guys impossibly closer, and this scene is no exception. We’ve seen them having dinners together before. But we’ve not yet seen Eddie and Chris being there while Buck cooks. And I have to say, I love it. Because it’s one thing to invite someone over for a meal you’ve cooked, it’s another to invite them or allow them to be there while you prepare it, that’s inviting them into your mess. Just like in 513, when Buck stepped into Eddie’s mess with him and 518 when Eddie had Buck over to help him clean his mess. And yeah, this time it’s not the emotional mess of a breakdown, it’s the beautiful, daily mess of living, but that in a sense makes it even better? After all, this isn’t Buck letting someone else in on his mess 'coz things are dire and he has to. It’s him choosing to share the behind the scenes of his life with Eddie and Chris, mess and all. This is the most domestic Buddifer scene, when we already had so many amazing domestic scenes with them, and I am this close to proposing to it, because I love it that much! ~~
If that’s not enough, this ep used meals as a theme for different relationships. We have Hen and Athena who are good friends, but nothing more. No underlying romantic tensions. So they were going to enjoy a meal together outside. When Hen didn’t show up, Athena grabbed some food prepared by others and brought it over. Because they ARE good friends and care about each other, and want to catch up, offering each other support. But they’re not life partners or a family unit. They’re not a part of the “behind the scenes” of each other’s life. At the same time, Madney are having a meal at home. So out of the two non-Buddie pairs, the platonic friends and the romantic couple, Buddie are shown to be more similar to the romantic couple (the one that needs to wake up, own their feelings and get together already. The one that will by the end of this ep). Who would have thunk it? ~~
Which brings me to the transitions used in this ep. We have the Buddifer scene transitioning into the Madney one, meaning 911 is choosing to show us these two family units one after the other (in fact, the Madney one is specifically about declaring that they’re still a family even when it might appear like they’re not). Then we have the montage at the end of the ep giving us closure for the characters who have been going through changes. TBH, nothing much happened with Eddie and Chris in this ep that would require them to be a part of this montage. And yet, they are there, and specifically, their short scene is a nod at the Buddifer one (it didn’t have to be. For example, since Eddie talked about Shannon in this ep, we could have had him looking at her old pics, yet that’s not the choice 911 made here), and that transitions to Buck in his apartment, making his choice of not getting a new couch (i.e girlfriend). There are CHOICES, my friends. ~~
Speaking of Madney and Buddie parallels in this ep, can we talk for a second about how Chim told Maddie she didn’t have to keep apologizing, and she agreed they were beyond apologies at this point? Anyone else had flashbacks right away to Buck and Eddie in the infamous kitchen scene in 309? These are both pairs of life partners, where each person is the most significant one in the other’s life emotionally, to the point where they’ll have this kind of exchange, because of how important they are to each other. Are we really supposed to believe only one is destined to be partnered up romantically? Not in this house, good sir. ~~
One more point regarding the Madney / Buddie parallels, this time from the Buckley siblings perspective. Maddie and Buck had a talk in s5 where they admitted that she’s always running and he’s always clinging. In this ep, Maddie got to say she’s done running. And we know that with 518’s break up, Buck was done clinging to Taylor specifically, but in this ep, he was also done clinging to the idea that he HAD to have a girlfriend to be somehow worthy. And, of course, he understood back then that the clinging was tied to settling. So now we know, with his hesitancy about getting a new couch, he’s done settling, too. Maddie got to declare her breakthrough to her romantic partner who she knows is the right person for her, enabling this progress. I can’t wait until Buck can do the same, when he gets to look his own partner in the eyes and, knowing this is the right person, say he’s done settling… ~~
Speaking of that couch, I love Chris roasting one of his dads yet again (like in 312 and 511 when he’s sassy with Eddie or 414 with Buck), but the second he brought the couch into it, well... Buck was actually right, it did come out of left field, so it was evident that the couch would be metaphorical even before Buddie’s discussion of how it’s tied to Buck’s ex girlfriends. When at the end of the ep, he chooses not to buy a new one, and instead he’s moving the armchair around, that’s the moment when he chooses not to cling or settle anymore. The couch is for two people. The armchair is for one. He’s choosing himself. He’s choosing to be happy in his own skin, even if he’s single. I love that for him. But I couldn’t help noticing that we didn’t simply get him choosing the armchair by sitting down in it, looking comfy and happy, nodding in satisfaction. Nope, he also had to move it around a bit. Something he already had could make him really happy, but it had to be moved to its rightful place first. I couldn’t help thinking that this might be a metaphor for how happy Eddie can make Buck, once he takes his rightful place in Buck’s life, both of them finally recognizing they’re truly each other’s life partners, and when considering the feelings behind that, why. ~~
Lastly, it’s just a small note, but I wanna mention, once more, what a good dad Eddie is. He doesn’t purposely lose his game against Chris. It can be so tempting for adults to do that, just like it was a very natural instinct for Eddie to first rush in and wanna help Chris with getting dressed in 204. But Eddie gets that in order to feel truly empowered by his accomplishments, Chris has to try and tackle challenges on his own, without being pampered. No wonder Buck is head over heels in love with this man. ~~
Thank you so much for reading and for any and all support! Thank you also for the great gifs to the beautiful @whosoldherout, who’s a true gem. You can find more of my Buddie fics and meta, if you’re interested. Thank you again! xoxox
Buddie 607 meta
I thought Felisa’s introduction was an interesting one. She’ll be closely associated with Eddie throughout the ep and by the end of it, we’ll see more layers to her, but the intro still presents her life as being to a great degree fake and shallow, very much revolving around putting on a show for her audience. Not to mention, Athena letting us know that Felisa at one point acted in such a violent and even life-endangering manner isn’t there for nothing. I found it an interesting choice to clue the audience in from the get go that this is not someone who is greatly compatible with Eddie, but even more so, that she’s not exactly someone who has room in her life to co-parent a kid with CP. And once again, it hit me hard, how in comparison, from 201 already we saw how similar Buck and Eddie are, and from 202 how much Buck would adore this kid,care about him, be a good co-parent and make all the room for Chris in his life.
~~ We saw in previous eps that when something is up with Buck, Eddie always notices it. So it came as no surprise he was the first to raise an eyebrow at Buck’s diet change. However, I had to scream a little about the shot that reveals this (and had to gif it). They could have focused on Buck’s glass after he was seated, they could have filmed him torso up. But no, they let Buck sit down as the camera follows him, and more than that, they had him sit down in profile, which emphasizes the crotch area way more than if he were to sit down normally and we’d get a frontal shot. This is intentional as all heck, and the framing expressions on Eddie’s face as he watches him, making it seem like Buck’s crotch is what he’s noticing, it’s too much to all be coincidental. ~~
But back to Eddie being THE team member with Buck senses that tingle, this ep showed us that it’s not just us thinking their bond is unique. The fact that we get a zoom in on Bobby looking at Eddie with an inquiring expression and gesture with Athena also turning his attention to him to get his reaction, and that Eddie without even a pause says he doesn’t know what’s up with Buck, it once again demonstrates that the trope of “everyone sees it” is true for Buddie. Everyone around them is completely aware that these two are married. ~~
Okay, regarding Buck’s sperm donation, the universe was CLEARLY screaming at him that this shouldn’t happen. In an ep that directly references back to 406, where Buck first tells Eddie that, and in doing so reveals himself to be someone who believes in listening to signs, and who reaffirms that this hasn’t changed because when his secret comes out he mutters to himself, “Stupid bracelet curse,” it’s very interesting that he ignores it all and goes ahead with the donation (at least for now). I do assume that the point is whatever he chooses, it will be his choice. He’s not being superstitious, or latching onto excuses, he's choosing his own path, and that will play into the rest of this storyline in terms of his growth as a person. ~~
Small side note from a gay person who knows a lot of gay couples that had to use sperm donations: men have to abstain from masturbation to do a sperm count, it’s not a personal choice, and the period of time to abstain is 2-7 days. Anything above that makes the sample worse in terms of sperm quality. My point is, Buck was trying to make things better, but he actually made them worse. I trust the writers did their basic research and they know this fact. ~~
The oblivious Eddie vibes were strong in this ep. While we got the background story for his disbelief in the supernatural, it also generally demonstrated that Eddie doesn’t tend to believe in that which he can’t see with his own eyes. He needs palpable proof, and neither emotions nor their significance can be proven that way, which might explain why he keeps missing the signs regarding what he and Buck really have. ~~
Something that got to me (and can also be counted in the “oblivious Eddie” column) was Felisa telling him that Alexis is all she has. As Eddie suspects this assistant of wrongdoing, he will later in the ep tell Felisa he knows Alexis is the only one she feels she can count on. It was just really loud to me, Eddie can try and talk to Felisa about what this means because he knows exactly what it’s like to have someone like that, Buck. So the subtext parallels Alexis with Buck, which means I was watching with interest to see what will we discover about this assistant? Even though everything seemed to point to her being guilty, if she was subtly paralleled with Buck, I was pretty convinced it would turn out she wasn’t the one hurting Felisa. I loved finding out that this ended up being the case. And I also thought it was interesting that in this context, Eddie brings up the tsunami in the ep’s last scene. The only way he thinks he can turn this woman’s POV around is to give Chris as an example. And that is exactly what he was doing for Buck as well, in 301. Not to mention, Buck embraced the insight Eddie was offering him during his chat with Chris in 302. Even in terms of the character’s name (yes, the name geek is about to strike again), Felisa comes from the Spanish version of the Roman name Felix, which means “lucky,” but also “happy” (for example, ‘felix finis’ means “happy ending” in Latin), and who do we know who’s been on a quest to find his happiness this season? This ep might not have been Buddie heavy in the text itself, but Buck was there, between the lines of Eddie’s storyline, the whole time.
(apologies for my own inferior gifs for this one section of the post) ~~
And that can also be seen in the moment when Eddie expresses his notion that he’s starting to think he might be the one who’s cursed. It’s the dramatic turn point in that arc and, despite Hen and Chim being the ones more closely associated for most of the ep with the whole thing (the ones who talk to Eddie about it, expresses their fear and superstition, trying to keep a distance from the bracelet), it’s Buck that Eddie says those words to. That’s the show telling us it recognizes that everything has more potency when it’s between those two. Plus, it’s also a reminder that even in the middle of his own trouble with his sperm donation, Buck will always check in on Eddie. ‘Coz that’s just how soulmates roll.
~~ Thank you to anyone reblogging! Y’all give me life. And for any show of support. I also wanna thank wholeheartedly @whosoldherout, who not only produced fabulous gifs for this meta as always, she did so while dealing with some stuff, and I just want you to know you’re a hero! xoxox
Buddie 606 meta
This meta is about Buddie, but please let me state how much I love Henren. I adore this ship, I can’t even explain how much as a queer person myself, and this ep dedicated to them was fantastic. It did them justice. And I have to take a sec to point out how much this isn’t to be taken for granted. They are a couple of older gay women of color, four identities that have been largely marginalized in TV land. A lot of shows would barely include them, let alone dedicate a whole ep to them, trusting that the audience will love and embrace it. More than that, they allowed Henren to be sexual, too. This is such an important choice when it would have been easier to show every other wonderful moment between them, but keep them sanitized for the viewers who are less accepting. This is why I have so much faith in 911. I guess that’s also why I believe in the show when it comes to Buddie, that it can be brave enough to let them become canon. ~~
Speaking of Henren’s sexy times (I can’t emphasize enough how much I loved it, kudos to the gay musical choice), when Karen said to Hen, “I don’t have to be serious,” it hit me that she’s saying it with the exact same sort of playful intonation while taking a step in Hen's direction that Buck used when he uttered at Eddie that oh so suggestive, “You wanna go for the title?” in 309 while getting physically closer (kitchen scene, my ‘no het explanation’ beloved). ~~
I loved that Henren’s story does not begin smoothly, they start out antagonistic. Karen has that “are you even worth my time?” attitude, while Hen’s very blunt about calling her out. But the confrontation is full of that sexual tension of two people who, while riled up by the other person, they also realize they have met their match, someone who intrigues and attracts them, challenges them and can help them better themselves, so they very quickly move past the initial friction. Tell me that’s not Buddie in 201, giving each other attitude only to swear eternal loyalty as battlefield boyfriends before the ep's over. Enemies to soulmates who will choose each other again and again, through thick and thin, is why we (in addition to Buddie and Henren) are the ones who never really stood a chance. ~~
Then we have the fact that in both cases, someone from the team was responsible for the match. Chim was very blunt about it with Henren (our short KING!) and I know that Bobby-the-matchmaker is not canon, but it’s hovering so close to that. You can see it in the way Bobby watches Buck’s reaction to Eddie in 201, in the way he pushes them towards each other during that ep, and of course in that classic moment when he “presides” over Buddie’s union when the match proves to be a success (as I tried to show in my humor edit, in cinematographic terms, that moment was staged to look very similar to a wedding, the couple exchanging vows with an officiant in the background, a staging sometimes used to implicitly point to a ship not yet recognizing their own feelings/commitment for each other). It becomes even more of a parallel if you consider that in both cases, the “matchmaker” brings in a newcomer to make things better precisely when a member of the 118 they’re close to has to deal with letting go of a romantic relationship that ended up toxic... ~~
I wrote in my 605 meta that the Henren and Buddie parallels were already on in that ep, and I expected to see lots more this week, but I gotta admit, I thought it would be mainly between Henren’s call vs Buddie during the shooting arc in 413 and 414. So you can already tell I was surprised by how much broader the parallels were. Another one I did not anticipate was Karen’s aggravated reaction to Hen doing the decent thing (hearing Eva out regarding Denny) and how similar it was to Eddie’s reaction over Abby re-appearing in 318 (Buck doing the decent thing and helping her with her new fiance). If you ask me, jealously worried Eddie is confirmed real through this parallel (this is the one gif I made for this post myself, ‘coz I am a dumbass who forgot to type this when I was sending my meta gif requests). ~~
Everything about the call at the lab was exquisite, even the way it kicked off, with Bobby as the voice of the 118 reassuring Hen they will get her wife back to her. It's so much like the scene in 315 where the team had to reassure Buck that they're not giving up on Eddie and that they will save him. *quietly hyperventilates because what even is this parallel* ~~
Don’t get me started on Hen having to watch as Karen collapsed after coming out of the building. Like I said, I knew we’d probably be looking at a lot of parallels with the shooting story arc, but SERIOUSLY. 911, this was SO rude of you. Each one of these scenes separately just ripped my heart out, but the parallel also did me in, ‘coz it emphasized the fact that when Buck is the one to witness Eddie collapsing there, it’s because the show knows it has the same impact as for Hen to watch her (legally married!) romantic partner and co-parent to her child going through the same thing. The insane thing is Eddie officially had a romantic partner at the time! Someone who was supposed to occupy the closest space in his life to what Karen is to Hen, and yet 911 still chose to have Buck there, punching us all collectively in our guts as he watched in muted horror the love of his life collapsing. Utter, gay madness. ~~
Not only did Hen have to watch Karen collapse, she also had to try and revive her, which is so very similar to what Buck had to do for Eddie after physically getting him out of the line of fire in 414. It’s that mixture of love and desperation and hope and teetering on the edge of despair for me that makes the ambulance scenes in both of these storylines so poignant, and the parallel impossible to ignore. ~~
We also have the fact that when Hen watches Karen being carried into the hospital on a gurney, much like Buck watched Eddie being taken in during 414, the next moment when she knows Karen is more or less safe, she can barely hold herself up without help. It’s that combined exhaustion from everything she did to save her loved one, and relief, and the deeply terrifying realization of what was so close to be, all of these suddenly released together into her bloodstream become too much. So Bobby and Chim have to help and physically support her. This just came and slapped me across my face (911 really chose violence this ep, didn’t they?) because it’s exactly how Buck reacted in 303, when he sees Chris safe in Eddie’s arms, and he can’t take everything he’s feeling in that moment, so he has to be physically supported by Bobby and Hen… ~~
Karen refusing to leave when she was supposed to reminded me of Eddie doing the same by cutting his own cord in order to continue helping in 315. I was ready for the shooting arc parallels, I was not for the Eddie Begins ones and my insides are decimated. To be technical, this also parallels David refusing to leave the operation room in 508, subtly linking all the stubborn gays risking themselves when they’re not supposed to while their partners are nearby, yet separated from them and going insane with worry. ~~
I mentioned Henren parallels Buddie in both the shooting arc and Eddie Begins, and nowhere is it more evident IMO than in that moment when Chim lies to Karen, telling her Hen had died, and for one terrible moment, she believes it and you can see her whole world is shaken up and close to imploding. This feels so much like Buck’s reaction in both those storylines, when for a moment there he has to consider that maybe he lost Eddie for good, and the look he gets of utter disbelief, on the verge of devastation, is so like Karen’s. ~~
But if that’s not enough, we also have another theme that connects the three storylines, the one about how an event like that can make people recognize what matters in their lives and consolidate what their dreams are, or in other words, what’s the family that they fight for, which they now fully embrace. For Karen, thinking she lost Hen made helped her accept Denny into their lives, while Eddie, who realized in 315 that he’s fighting to come back to his family, and that Buck IS a huge part of that family, together with Chris, decided to change his will to make them all legally bound together, a fact he discloses to Buck in 414, as the conclusion to the shooting arc. ~~
Something that further reinforces the family-consolidation parallels between the two eps is Karen telling Hen she has to go be with Denny because he comes first, just like Buck stayed with Chris in 414. And again Ana, the actual gf, is right there, but it’s Buck who’s taking care of what matters the most to Eddie, what constitutes his heart: his son. ~~
I have to mention that moment at the hospital where Buck was asking about living without a spleen. With all of his experience as a firefighter responding to many medical emergencies, as well as his love of bizarre trivia including from the anatomical realm, I’m sure he knew the answer to that. What he’s really asking for is reassurance that Karen will be okay. Eddie picks up on that and offers precisely that, which is not just ridiculously tender, it’s also so domestic that it’s their connection that brings about that comfort. ~~
Lastly, the conclusion of this ep parallels Henren and Buddie as well. Hen’s insight from this experience of helping her significant other during a call is that the job she should be doing, that she was born to do, is be a paramedic with the 118. That’s also exactly Eddie’s conclusion in 511, after he helps Buck during a call. Even when he wasn’t physically there, even when it wasn’t Buck’s own life on the line, simply helping Buck on a dangerous call reminded Eddie of where he wanted to be. With his battlefield boyfriend. Canon “Buddie Begins” when, 911?
~~ If you like this content and would like to see more of it, please consider giving this a reblog! Thank you in advance for any show of support. A massive thank you to the astounding @whosoldherout, who tackles my gif requests every week and creates such perfect and beautiful gifs to demonstrate my thoughts. xoxox
Buddie 605 meta
I’ll start kind of at the end and mention Christopher’s diagnosis of Hoover’s mental health. It’s a cute moment, but I think it also is a reflection of how this kid has a dad who’s now going to therapy to work on himself and get better. Not only that, Chris has a dad who’s doing that and it’s implied Eddie comes home and shares some of his new found insights with his son, just like we’ve seen him doing with his colleagues. This is also a part of good parenting, just being honest about his experiences at therapy, and in the process Eddie’s sharing tools that can help Chris better understand the world. This is a part of why I stan the Diaz boys. ~~
I always love seeing our battlefield boyfriends working together seamlessly, and we get that in the very first call of the ep already. Now you can tell me that them working together on the calls is breadcrumbs, but we have had a substantial number of eps where we didn’t get even that. And this thing where they’re work husbands, it’s a part of how they express their bond in the most fundamental of ways. It’s essential. So I can never see it, even in tiny doses, and not fangirl.
Moreover, it leads to the fullest Buddie moment of the ep, when they show up to help Marisol with her house. They destroyed a portion of her house together on the job, so they are there to fix it together. But if you think about it, that doesn’t actually make sense. How many places have they had to tear down as a part of their job over the years? Why is it Buck and Eddie out of the core team to show up and not others as well? Bobby was the one who had the idea of cutting into this girl’s ceiling. It was Chim riding in the ambulance along with Eddie and the siblings, seeing their moving conversation. So why is it Buck there at the end with Eddie instead of Chim? Why isn’t Bobby there? And from the storytelling POV, wouldn’t a better resolution be for this girl’s brother to get to prove himself in some way as her big brother? Maybe not in the way that he intended, but still one that matters. We’ve had the wrap up for emotional calls have nothing to do with the 118. Yet instead, we get this scene with Buddie visually coming together to save the day. Maybe Buddie just miss the quiet intimacy of fixing walls together, as they did in 518. In any case, it’s clear 911 is reminding us that while it IS an ensemble of characters, ships and storylines, regardless of where the focus is in a specific ep, Buddie never stop being important to this show. ~~
Lastly, remember how we had a party at Bathena’s in 301 for Buck who passed an important test, there was a lot of emotional interaction between him and Eddie, but then this was setting up an emergency involving one of them, and with the resolution of that storyline, they became even closer than they were? Well, this ep gave us a party at Bathena’s for Hen who passed an important test, there was a lot of emotional interaction between her and Karen, but then this was setting up an emergency involving one of them. Pretty sure it would also lead to some resolution that will make Henren get even closer and appreciate what they have even more than they already do... I’m not saying that Buddie is paralleling one of the show’s canon ships already, before this Henren storyline has even fully kicked off, but that’s exactly what I’m saying. These repeated and pronounced parallels of Buddie with every canon ship can’t all be coincidences.
~~ ~~ Thank you so much for reading this! And for every reblog and like! If you’re interested in catching up, you can find my 604 meta and more of my content on my blog. Thank you to the star that is @whosoldherout who keeps making these meta posts 500% better with her gifs.
Eddie and baby trapping
Okay, so I remember when 505 aired, I made a joke in my weekly meta about Eddie smugly looking at Buck and saying, “you’re stuck with us,” because he KNEW his baby daddy wasn’t going anywhere. I think it was about a day or so after I posted that meta, I saw the joke about Eddie baby trapping Buck in reference to that same scene for the first time, and I laughed and thought it really says something if so many people understood the scene in more or less the same way.
Some time ago, I was talking to @toughpaperround about an old TV show I love (it finished airing before my parents even met, which is why it kinda feels redundant to name it, I’m just “lucky” to live in a country where, when I was a kid, they used to air old shows during the day). I got all nostalgic and ended up looking for it online. Turns out that as a kid, I only caught the second part of the show. So guess what? I knew back then that The Hero was raising a kid on his own after he lost the kid’s mother. What I didn’t know at the time was that the kid wasn’t The Hero’s biological son. And I’m actually kind of even more in love with the fact that he raised that boy so much as his own that I had no idea they weren’t blood related. However, seeing the first part of the show made it clear that The Hero WAS, in fact, baby trapped.
The shortest version of the story is that there’s a great disaster, The Hero is sent to save and get out as many people as possible, which happens to include this very beautiful woman (and she’s also kind of famous in that reality, I think) and her son. After everyone’s been rescued and goes on with life, the mom finds The Hero and tells him her son has been distraught since he lost his dog in the disaster. She said with how The Hero treated him while saving everyone, she’s sure The Hero is good with kids, and she needs his help with hers. Mind you, she’s the actual parent, The Hero is single, has no kids, is not a professional who is trained to help or has any kid experience in any way, is very handsome and brave, saved everyone, won a medal, and looks damn good in a uniform. Did I mention he’s very pretty? And as a guy who regularly puts his life on the line to save others, he’s also clearly someone who’s not gonna say no to people asking for help. Especially not when it comes to a kid. Long story short, he helps the kid, the boy expresses a wish by the end of this story arc for The Hero to be his dad, Hero and mom get married, she dies shortly after, Hero’s left emotionally scarred, I skipped to the second part of the show.
Because watching the first part, I was like... “Oh, she baby trapped him for real. Not as a funny joke fans tell.” And I came to realize, I quite detest when shows do that. When they’re too lazy to work on building a real connection between two characters, so they shove a damsel in distress with a kid into the path of a Good Guy, and the initial, deeper bond is between the guy and the kid. The damsel sort of... comes with the package of wanting to be the kid’s actual dad and all sorts of family feels that muddy the water.
And the beautiful thing about Buddifer is, that's NOT their story. During 201, when Eddie is trying to get into Buck’s good graces? He clearly never even thinks of bringing up Chris and using him like that. In 202, when Buck asks about the phone call, Eddie is hesitant when it comes to telling him about Chris and showing Buck his photo. We never see Eddie explicitly asking Buck for anything regarding his son, he never tries to dump a part of his parental responsibility on someone who isn’t a professional in a relevant field.
It’s Buck who in 202 chooses to go on consoling Eddie with why Chris is actually real safe, in 203 it’s Buck who chooses to right away alert Eddie that cellphone reception is back, in 204 Eddie still never asks Buck for help (presumably indicating that he also didn’t ask for any at the end of 203, it must have been Buck who offered to drive Eddie to Christopher’s school) and so it’s Buck who smooths things over with Bobby before any problems might arise, and it’s Buck who’s thinking about how to help Eddie when talking to Maddie, and it’s Buck who decides to set up the connection with Carla.
I just need to say how much I love Buck for being that person, not just the man who feels compelled to help when asked to because he’s a Good Guy, but the person who is sincerely interested, and who for real falls in love with Chris as well as with the way that Eddie loves his son. See, when they reach the school at the end of 203? It’s very evident that Eddie isn’t thinking about Buck for a second when he runs in to hug Chris. He’s not concerned about what anyone else might think, their hug is the most genuine expression of love, and relief and their strong, beautiful bond. And Buck just sits in the car with the biggest case of heart eyes ever observed on any TV screen.
And I also love Eddie for being that person, who can accept help when it comes to Chris (help for himself is a different matter) from professionals, but isn’t looking to dump his burden on others. He won’t actually baby trap anyone into helping him or being his friend or involved more than they actually want to be. He’s the man who hesitates before he shows his son’s picture to a relative stranger, because that’s a part of being a protective parent as well, but he’s not closed off to the point of being suspicious and rejecting Buck’s wish to be there and step into the mess with them. Eddie somehow manages to find just the right balance between not dragging Buck into Christopher’s life more than what Buck might be comfortable with, and yet not shutting off his new friend either. That’s not easy in this sensitive situation, especially for a man like Eddie, who has never had a good role model in terms of how to let people in and accept the right amount of help, how not to become extreme in either direction.
I still think the joke is hilarious! But if we’re being serious, I believe a part of Buddifer’s magic is that there was no baby trapping. They really chose each other and became a real family. The show took its time investing in them and building them up as a family. It’s at least a part of why I personally love them so much!
~ ~ Thank you so much to the wonderful @buckleyirondad for helping me with the gorgeous gifs for this meta! You’re a star! xoxox
Buddie 602 meta
I mentioned with this gif that Buck and Eddie really were more than battlefield boyfriends in this ep, they were work husbands. Yes, they did their thing where they turned around in sync shortly after they arrived at the “lust tunnel” call, but even after they were back at the station, they observed a sleeping Hen together, somewhere between worried about her and poking fun at her. See, the show could have had Chim there for this bit as well. It did have him there when the guys later spill popcorn over Hen. But no, we get a tiny reminder that the only ones who are truly attached at the hip, who naturally turn to each other, who choose to be that joined together every chance they get, on and off the field, are Buck and Eddie. ~ ~
Remember back in ep 102, Buck talked about how, unlike with the Navy SEALS, what he loved about being a firefighter is that he got to be the tough guy, but also to help people (without becoming a machine)? I was hit by how much this parallels Eddie, who also had emotional issues due to his service in the army, but on calls like the “love tunnel” one, he still gets to be the tough guy, binding the hands of an attempted murderer, while serving as a peace officer. I just love how much the show stresses that Buddie will always get each other better than anyone else will, because they’re just so similar when it comes to the most important things in life in terms of who they are and what they need. They’re essentially made for each other. ~ ~
Buck resorting to a self help book reminded me of him in 406, reading about the different love languages. I thought it was an interesting link (even visually) to remind us that while his journey is leading him to currently choose being single, it is ultimately connected to his desire for romantic love as well. Not because every self-discovery search has to, but we’re reminded that for him personally, that’s something that he deeply craves. His journey will be complete when in addition to himself, he’ll find and get to enjoy this love that he’s been dreaming of for so long. ~ ~
Allow me to go wild (and geeky) for a second. The guy that they treat (and fail to save) at the happiness convention? His name is Lev. I might have mentioned in the past that I’m a name geek (I even once contemplated making a resource post for fans and creators in the 911 fandom about the meaning and origin of characters’ names on the show), so right away, my ears pricked up. I know that it’s revealed the patient’s name is ‘Nathan Levinson.’ But it’s a late reveal, towards the very end of the ep. For most of that call, they refer to him as ‘Lev,’ which is actually a first name as well. It has two possible meanings, depending on its origin. One is that it comes from Russian and means lion. Which might be a play on the name of the actor portraying Lev. He’s called Arye, and his name in Hebrew means lion. If this is what the show was going for, it would be pretty cool, and it would def indicate that they pay attention to an actor’s real life background. But then consider the other option. ‘Lev’ is also a Hebrew name, which means ‘heart.’ Arye Gross, the character’s actor, is Jewish himself, and ‘Levinson’ is a Jewish last name, which seems to suggest that the Hebrew interpretation for Lev’s name is the right one. This would mean that the patient who Buck related so deeply to and who Eddie noticed was really close for a very long time with his friends - they’re all literally call him ‘heart.’ To top that all off, playing on the meaning of the word heart in a romantic context is brought up in this very ep, between Hen and Karen. So when we add all that to the fact that, as I’ve mentioned in previous weekly meta posts, we have had an ongoing heart theme with Buck and Eddie for a while now, you hopefully get why I feel there’s significance to this name choice. ~ ~
Lev obviously is meant to be another Red (from ep 316) for Buck. Unlike Red, Lev’s not a firefighter, he’s “just” a patient they lost, but because of where Buck is at this moment in his life, the encounter’s enough to shake him up. Just like Red basically came along and showed Buck that work isn’t everything, and that it doesn’t matter how much you give it your all, you still might end up lonely, Lev showed him that in every walk of “normative” life (career, wife, kids, possessions) you might do the same and still end up sad. Obviously, this is going to leave Buck feeling like he needs to try out new things, find a new direction that might lead him to that being at ease and happy that he’s been looking for (especially as the people he usually looks up to for answers can’t provide them right now: Bobby’s away dealing with his own family crisis, while Hen is a little lost herself). But I find it interesting, ‘coz this ep actually gave us an indication of what Lev might have ended up with. He doesn’t figure out the meaning to life and happiness when he’s injured, or during the following talk. He appears to find it after he chooses to make a sacrifice in order to save another person’s life and learns that was successful. I just find it very curious that at the end of the day, it’s implied the answer he found is what Buck already has, saving others. So I suspect (sorry to be drifting a bit into speculation territory) that this is the conclusion that Buck will eventually get to as well, that he’s had what he needs to be happy all along. And if you remember my meta for 601, that seemed to be the implied conclusion there as well, with the moving of the armchair. That Buck will eventually realize what makes him happiest, is what he already has, he just needs to redefine things a little. So all of this together feels like it’s further strengthening the idea that eventually, as part of his quest for self-realization and happiness, Buck is also going to figure out he already has the love he’s been searching for... ~ ~
Thank you so much for reading and for any and all support, like unbelievably kind tags in reblogs! Thank you also for the amazing gifs to the incredible @whosoldherout, who just knocks it outta the park. You can also find more of my Buddie fics, gifs and meta, if you’re interested. Thank you again! xoxox
Buck & consent
Consent has been an issue surrounding Buck since his very first ep in s1, and most of the time, it’s been about women crossing a certain line with him, while he doesn’t seem to quite register the meaning of what they do.
Let’s talk about his first partner, Abby. I very much like her as a character, but in relation to Buck... I’ve brought this up before, but it has never stopped bothering me that she gets his phone number from the incident report in 102. More than that, Abby mentioned that as a dispatcher, she’s trained to listen to people on the phone and “read” them. In this ep, she sees him on TV and talks to Carla about the pain on his face. Now imagine a man who’s in his 40′s, who professes to be skilled at reading people, as well as still down because his ex gf broke up with him, he sees a young woman in her mid 20’s, visibly distraught and emotionally vulnerable, and this man proceeds to get her phone number through their connected jobs (not only without her knowledge or consent, but also while violating the privacy of the information she shared with her work place) and calls her to ask her out on a date. How is this not creepy and wrong? I think it very much is, and when it’s Buck and Abby, the consent issue gets overlooked because their genders are the opposite from the summary here, which never sat right with me.
In that very same ep, Buck goes to see the LAFD shrink because Bobby forced him to. They start talking, Buck ends up crying, emotionally distressed over the vic he lost. We know that he turns to sex when he struggles to cope (the first time we see him on screen, it’s while Bobby’s voiceover brings up how some firefighters deal with the stress of their job by having sex. That means from the get go, the first thing we know about Buck is he uses sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism), especially in connection to his lack of self-worth (remember how he told Bobby in 101 that all he has is the job? Well, now that he lost his first vic, he was feeling like he was failing even at the one thing he had). So that’s exactly what he does next, he comes on to the therapist. He’s emotionally vulnerable during a therapy session, and that means there are no shades of gray, the therapist has the ethical duty and responsibility not to sleep with her patient. But if that’s not enough, it turns out she had already friended him on FB. I believe that, since she was a shrink for the department, she shouldn’t have friended him on FB, or if she did, she should have disqualified herself from being his therapist. So her infringements started before she even slept with him!
Interestingly, the show connects the two things. In 102, as Abby already had Buck’s number saved into her phone, she makes the call to ask him out on a date. He says they shouldn’t and explains that he has a problem (i.e that he’s a sex addict) and as proof, he shares that he’s slept with his therapist. Buck doesn’t get that while yes, he had a sex addiction, the incident with the therapist was different and wasn’t his responsibility. That yes, he had an unhealthy coping mechanism, but not giving into it in the therapy room is on the therapist, not on the patient. Abby on her part, despite being an older, more experienced person who presumably understands this, does not point that out.
Then in s2, we have Ali, who he meets on a call. Now, I have to say, Ali is the only one of Buck’s LI’s so far who has never crossed any inappropriate lines or done anything questionable. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something kinda dubious about their meeting. Buck even brings it up. He says in his former, sex-addicted days he wouldn’t have cared why Ali contacted him, but now he had to ask whether it was somehow because he saved her. Ali says it was Eddie who saved her, and it’s true that it was him who caught her when she was hanging for dear life. However, that doesn’t change the fact that Buck was still a part of her rescue, both men were there to save her. And both were there for the long way down and out. But it actually works in both directions. When I was getting my B.A in Psychology, we learned that during life-threatening situations, it happens that people misattribute some of their physical reactions to being attracted to other people present in the situation rather than to the danger they’re in. Buck and Eddie’s life was in danger too, their hearts were racing, they were perspiring, we also know Buck’s a daredevil who enjoys that, it makes him feel alive since being in danger was the only time he got any attention as a kid, so Buck misses that it’s not just Ali who might be misattributing what she was feeling when they met. He could have been affected as well. It’s not that Ali does something wrong, but there’s still a question mark there: did Buck really want to be with her, or was he influenced by a combination of the circumstances of how they meet, plus his self-worth issues, having been rejected for anything serious by Taylor shortly before Ali calls to ask him on a date?
Then we have Taylor, who shows up at the hospital after Buck was not just in a dangerous situation, he saw his best friend getting shot in front of his very eyes, carrying Eddie out of the fireline and into the ambulance. Taylor knew he must be upset, and just in case she wasn’t sure, Buck’s demeanor, his facial expressions and his trembling hands would have been more than enough to tell her just how emotionally distressed he was. It’s the wrong moment to kiss Buck when he’s dealing with all that, not necessarily the biggest red line, but it’s def something that feels inappropriate when someone has to handle so much, and their head is just not that clear when it comes to romantic matters. And it’s the wrong moment for such a come on especially in the context of Buck’s history, defaulting to sex whenever he has trouble coping with things (and presumably she would know about that by the time we get to 414, since they became friends during s4).
Now we get to 511 and Lucy. Here’s the thing. Buck cheated on Taylor, he kissed someone else. If he had done that sober, that would have been awful. If he had done that being drunk, that would still be a bad thing and the responsibility would still be on him. But the show made it clear Lucy got Buck drunk. “She kept ordering drinks” specifically reflects a sentence that we’ve heard so many times said in storylines on TV and in movies where sleazeball men try to sleep with women by getting them drunk. When the promo was shared where the kiss was shown, I didn’t think I would end up seeing the cheating through the prism of a consent issue, yet here I am, because of that specific line. They didn’t have to it, the story would have played out pretty similarly without it, but they chose to put that line in there.
I have to admit, I would love a story arc for Buck where he deals with this repeated theme. It would actually be amazing, because usually consent issues on TV are shown with women as the victims. When society doesn’t show men as victims of consent issues, it makes it harder for them to see it, to recognize the pattern they’re in and break it. So that story arc would be really important. The consent issue also closely interlinks with the theme of Buck’s self-esteem issues and his maladaptive coping mechanisms. The last two are things they’ll clearly touch upon following the kiss with Lucy and the cheating on and lying to Taylor, so looking at the consent issue as well would simply make this exploration complete.
Will they? I fear they won’t, 'coz I don’t think they ever fully owned this theme they’ve created. In part, because I think they haven’t really recognized the elements they introduced to create it. Abby’s a woman, she’s a good person, so I don’t think they ever even registered that it was wrong, how she got Buck’s number. The shrink? There was a bit of recognition during the show’s callback to that in ep 309, but they still put some of the responsibility on Buck (“I was going through a phase”) and Bobby said she wasn’t working for the department anymore, when really, she should have lost her license and never work as a therapist again. Ali? They probably thought they had Buck raise the consent issue as a way of showing how much better Buck 2.0 was doing in comparison to Buck 1.0, while not thinking about the implication of consent being something that continuously comes up around his relationships. Taylor and Lucy’s stories in relation to Buck are still unfolding, but we’ve seen no indication regarding the former that the show recognizes how awful the timing of her kiss was. The interviews regarding Lucy are also not giving me much hope they’ll address why they had her getting him drunk and what does that mean. But I do wish 911 would address this theme. Buck and the viewers deserve a serious look at the murky waters of consent issues and why we sometimes don’t even notice them.
~~~ I wasn’t sure I was going to write this meta, but my wonderful @ellelans said to do it, and I never argue with her! Then @robinplume, @gayofthefae and @thetalee seconded her, so here we go! Shoutouts to all of you lovelies! Also, big hugs to @judsonryder for making these breathtaking gifs!
Buddie 516 meta
I just loved that this ep was full of parallels which pointed out how someone can be another person’s father even without being biologically related to them, it’s all about the care, protectiveness and willingness to risk everything to save their kid. That was Bobby in this ep, wanting to go all protective over May when Claudette was giving her a hard time at dispatch, just like Buck was ready to go feral when he thought the camp might not be good for Chris in 318. Then we had Bobby willing to throw his life away to save May, just as Buck did when he jumped from the firetruck into the water during a tsunami to save Chris at the end of 302. I know it’s almost redundant to say, “Buck is Christopher’s dad” at this point, but he really is, and that even an ep without Chris highlights this is just a whole different level of insane.
BATTLEFIELD BOYFRIENDS RIDE AGAIN! That’s it, that’s the tweet. WE HAVE OUR BATTLEFIELD BOYFRIENDS BACK. No, wait, THEY have THEIR BATTLEFIELD BOYFRIENDS BACK. Being perfectly in sync, with zero personal space, having each other’s back in the face of the greatest of dangers. And all is right with the world again! *hearts* ~~~
I loved Linda noticing that Eddie isn’t truly happy at dispatch and being encouraging of him going back to what he’s meant to do. We’re slowly coming full circle, Buck telling Eddie in 406 that the universe is screaming at him, Carla telling Eddie in 413 to make sure he’s following his own heart and now Linda telling him that God has spoken. Eddie has found his place again, he didn’t deny her words, he simply smiled happily and ran right to where he belonged, by Buck’s side.
I have to admit, when Josh and Carson were awkwardly flirting, I was already smiling so much, because I just knew this was going to lead to the scene we did get, the one I ended up giffing here. Gay love enabled Buddie to work together as seamlessly as always, despite how long it’s been since they were last partnered up and since it’s been MONTHS since Eddie actually worked as a firefighter, and gay love is how they could locate Carson, it was thanks to Josh’s crush on him. 911 looked us all right in the eyes and said, “Yep. Gay love saves the day.” Oh, but I especially loved that after I clocked that, we even got a scene of Eddie encouraging Josh to go after Carson, I mean how is this real? Josh could have had that conversation with Linda or Sue, it didn’t have to be Eddie himself, but this show really took one look at this repressed man and intentionally juxtapositioned him with yet another queer man who’s at the moment too scared to admit to himself who he truly wants and go after it. ~~~
I loved that even though Bobby initially teamed up Lucy with Buck, the second it’s clear to him that things are worse than they previously looked, he teamed Buddie right back up. Oh, is Eddie not actually an active firefighter? Is it probably against strict regulations to use him on a scene where he’s one of the vics? Bobby doesn’t care. He needs his team to do their best, and that means Buck needs Eddie with him. It’s just a law of nature at this point. ~~~
I mentioned that Buck was paralleled with Bobby as parents who are willing to put their lives on the line for their kids, but there’s one more parallel in this ep when it comes to him. Remember how Buck has always been willing to risk himself to save Eddie? Like during the shooting in 414 or when Hen chided Buck in 315 that if they let him go down to get Eddie, they’ll just end up with two cut lines? So just consider how Josh wanted to go help find Carson despite not having any of the needed experience or training, simply because he was romantically driven to… ~~~
Speaking of Josh/Carson being Buddie-adjacent in this ep, it was impossible to miss how even when injured, Carson still felt the need to comment on his rescuers’ obvious chemistry, telling them, “You guys should take this act on the road.” I just wanna point out, it was Buck who was babbling, the show could have had Carson be sassy at him specifically, but nope, we got yet another comment about Buddie as a pair. And much like with TK in the LS crossover ep, it seems Buck and Eddie simply can’t cross paths with a gay guy without 911 giving Buddie fans a small wink… ~~~
I loved this ep’s theme of fixing all of these different things that have gone wrong in the past: Bobby got to have a fix with May when he couldn’t save his own kids in the fire, Chim got to save Albert after he couldn’t do anything for Kevin, Josh (who used to be so trusting in s3 but was abused by a man who was supposed to be a romantic date and turned out to be a creep) came across a guy who at first seemed shifty but then turned out to be really sweet and sorta crushing on Josh, the 118 got to repay Bobby for his leadership and for turning them into a team (Chim even says as much explicitly), and that was a fix in itself for the way that the team came apart in 5a with Chim and Eddie leaving. But that also includes a particular fix, since Chim had already returned to the team, this was also specifically Eddie getting to return to his family. He made a mistake in 510, he quit instead of communicating with his son or figuring out his own trauma that led him to this move, and now that he’s spent much needed time opening up to Buck and going to therapy, he gets to smile at Linda and run to his family, taking his natural place among them. This is especially heightened by the musical choice playing while Bobby is pulled out from the rubble, when the team works together. It’s not just about all of them as a group, it’s also about Eddie’s story. In 315 we heard the song “Carry You” playing out as he was realizing he has a new family to fight and always return to, and in 516, he got to do precisely that. ~~~
Speaking of the Bobby and May rescue, we get a beautiful shot of just the original team hugging right after Bobby is pulled out, because THAT is the real family they chose. And we get another gorgeous shot when the 118 walk together at the end of the rescue, Buck and Eddie on either side of Bobby, holding him up, May there as well, a true family in every sense (Lucy being separated from the rest of he firefighters by May not only leaves Lucy on the farthest end, it also makes her seem like the only one who’s not quite a part of the team). And Taylor? She’s on the other side completely looking at them, a reversal of how Eddie was on the outside looking in during the pub scene in 511. But while Linda is also on the outside, we get a clear close up of her looking at the team, smiling. She knows these people belong together. She’s where she’s supposed to be, and she truly cares about Eddie’s well-being and happiness, so Linda can be supportive from the outside, she can bask in the team’s closeness and joy about being together, rather than take issue with it.
Taylor, who’s right next to her, is looking at the 118 as well, we don’t get a close up of her, which somewhat obscures her expression. To whatever degree I could close in on it, it remained pretty ambiguous and open to interpretation. Was Taylor trying to smile, or did she stretch her mouth in sarcastic displeasure? It’s not quite clear. But the contrast with Linda’s evident joy says something about how threatened Taylor is by Buck obviously belonging with a group of people she has no real place with. This happens even before she sees Buck and Lucy talking.
When she does spot them, I don’t think Taylor realizes it’s Lucy who Buck kissed, I think she’s simply threatened because of the heteronormative concept which believes men and women can’t be just friends. Couple that up with how Taylor is aware of the 118’s meaning to Buck and boom, you get classic jealousy. TBH, when Taylor approached Lucy and started talking to her about how important the team is to Buck, implying Taylor thinks Buck is most likely to find his true romantic partner in one of his family members, all my brain could do was scream, “Eddie!” Because Taylor is spelling it all out! She’s threatened by the idea of someone who Buck might find attractive and who also works in great (and intense) proximity with him. We already know, thanks to the introduction scene in 201 and the whole “He’s so cute” mix up in 206 that Buck DOES find Eddie attractive. The show is literally making Buck’s gf feel threatened because of a combo that most truly applies to Eddie out of anyone who’s ever crossed Buck’s path. But if that’s not enough, while Taylor was being awful to Lucy (and to Buck, insinuating that if Taylor loses her bf, she will cause trouble for him with his colleagues/FAMILY), in the background we see Buck noticing that those two are talking to each other. Now, at the end of 514 we already had this slight hint of panic from Buck at Taylor merely mentioning Lucy’s name. So we know he’s scared about this exact scenario! But does he go over to see what’s going on and try to do some damage control if need be? Nope. Because he’s next to Eddie, talking to his husband after finally being together in the field again, and that just matters more. IDK what to say, other than that we’ve been shown repeatedly during all of s5 how much more Eddie matters to Buck than the man’s own gf does, but this scene literally spelled it out. Buddie canon when, Tim?
~~~ Thank you to the lovely @whosoldherout and @judsonryder for the help with the gorgeous gifs! And thank you to anyone who reads this. Any show of support, any sharing of this post so others can see it as well, is very much appreciated! xoxox