#since we remember nothing and don't seem to have many ideas about like. what the world looks like
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also one real post about this and like, plenty of ink has been spilt on how disconnected watcher entertainment seems to be from its fans but i think the missing piece here is how disconnected watcher is from the rest of youtube. when the catastrophe hit i went to all my terminally online friends, the same way i did after the hbomberguy james somerton video, or after the ned fulmer fiasco, or the creepshowart scandal etc, or every time jenny nicholson dropped a new evermore video, including the ones behind the $2 patreon paywall we all gladly pay for, and for the first time...
no one knew who i was talking about.
these are not insulated people. these are people i can trust to have at least name recognition of almost any youtuber i mention. they know downtherabbithole and strangeaeons and cjthex and kappakaiju and miniminuteman773 and kazrowe and somemorenews etc etc etc
so when i put in the group chat, with no context, 'he wasnt even on cribs' or 'we have no cats kathleen' or 'only humble pagan commune schemes' or whatever, i usually do so with great trust that at least half the group will know what im on about.
this time, crickets.
i backpedaled a little and pulled up the 'ive connected them' meme and the fuzzy blue professor, and i got nothing at all. the only recognition i got was when someone belatedly realized that he had seen the goatman video when it dropped (although he had no idea that they had their own company now), and another person remembered that they had offered to collab with danny gonzalez, a youtuber with twice the subscribers
because she had checked back to see if danny went ghost hunting again, and lost interest because he hadnt.
i also brought it up in my dedicated buzzfeed unsolved group chat but ummmmm i am the only one in that group still watching ever since the shift to watcher oops
the only splash they had made in my again, TERMINALLY ONLINE friend group that watches hours and hours of youtube a day was a buzzfeed video seven years ago, and when they had failed to collab with someone more famous than them. i found myself in the unusual position of having to explain the situation to a bunch of dirty internet gremlins, all of whom heard the whole story and said 'why would they do that'
not 'why would they do that to their fans' but 'why would they do that as youtubers'
even aside from the moneygrubbing, we watcher stans were confused about why they tried to offer us a service we didn't need or want, and i think it obscured the confusion on why they thought it was a good idea at all, when so many other models were available to them. why werent they using their patreon like other youtubers? why weren't they collaborating with other youtubers? why weren't they putting out regular, lower quality content like other youtubers? if they wanted higher quality content, why weren't they partnering with nebula, like lindsay ellis, or netflix, like bo burnham. why didn't they run their ideas past someone like the green brothers, who have jumpstarted scishow and many other similar projects successfully, and are famously good to work with/consult with? why would they try to pull a roosterteeth? don't they know what happened?
and i think the answer is no. i think they just don't know those things. and they didnt bother to check, because they think all those things are beneath them. because they think corporate content is the only worthwhile kind there is.
why else would they think they have to have an office building, keep dozens of people on staff, buy expensive cameras, and build a streaming platform? why do they only collaborate with actors and singers who have corporate entertainment approval? why are they reinventing the wheel on buzzfeed when thousands of youtubers build perfectly stable careers with a mic and a camera, and sometimes hire an editor?
i guess my takeaway from this is that, at least they didnt break my heart as a fan entirely because they fundamentally misunderstood me. they did it, at least in part, because they do not understand how youtube works, or what part they play in it.
they dont understand how people use youtube. it is not a cinematic event worthy of the big tv, it is line goes up playing in the background for the 400th time as i wash my face and put my laundry away.
that is why they spent months and months planning this without ever noticing it was a bad idea, while millions of youtube viewers knew instantly. thats why they didn't start with a more moderate solution, why they never used their patreon properly, why they cared so much about the production value, why they thought a youtube audience, any audience at all, would jump at the chance to leave youtube.
bc youtube as a creator sucks, and we all know that, but youtube as a viewer is extremely comfortable. all i ask of youtube is to be mildly interesting in the background while i do other stuff. it is filler. some of the filler is extremely good, yes, but there is no room or reason in my life to give more of my money and attention to my filler, let alone to get a bigger screen for it.
and honestly, this is why i and others stayed on with the ghoul boys even though their quality dropped. because it's filler. im not even looking at the screen you apparently spent 100k on. im flipping my eggs. im washing my hair. im waiting for the bus with my headphones in and my phone in my pocket. thank you for being my background music. in return i will sit through your ads and push your view counter up by one. i may even hit the like button by accident bc my phone is in my pocket.
this is not to say i dont enjoy my filler. i would absolutely die without it. but it is not and never will be exchanged for the instances when i make popcorn in The Big Bowl and turn on a Real Movie on the Big Screen (my old laptop that is 15 whole inches) with my phone turned over so nothing can distract me.
my filler can't be my movie, and vice versa. nor should it be. but watcher doesnt understand that, apparently. they think youtube is cruelly preventing them from being netflix, and they think we want netflix, and they don't understand that, even with that half-assed apology that they didn't explain their dream correctly and they are jsut so destitute they had to take extreme measures after they went to europe 6 too many times...
there is a fundamental misunderstanding about how people use youtube , both as creators and as consumers. they didn't just misunderstand their fanbase. they continue to misunderstand the entire ecosystem. idk guys. maybe you should have learned something from those youtubers that you apparently think you are too good for.
and as for me, welp. i've booted people from my filler line-up for less. and there are soooooooooooooo many other fish in the sea, and they are not asking me to pay them 27 corporation salaries from my own pocket. they are asking for me to bump their view counter up by one.
goodbye boys. i really hope you find a way to fulfill yourselves artistically or whatever. but you have burned this particular bridge, like. forever. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way.
and not because i dont support people getting a living wage, you guilt-tripping vultures, or because i dont believe in following dreams and wishing on stars and whatnot.
but because i prefer to consume content from people who know what they're doing, and i simply no longer trust that includes you.
#watcher entertainment#steven lim#shane madej#ryan bergara#this is truly all i will say#just amazing how the average youtube viewer immediately identified all the problems with the new plan#and none of the executive big boys involved did
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love when you can ask the Narrator why the Princess is a Princess and he's like 'well i uhhhh YOU did that. maybe it's because uh... something something about her being above you... but still approachable... look i don't want to analyze or anthropomorphize your--' my guy. i am a primal being of Order and Eternity and Shaping. You're the one who convinced me I was some dude and were quite willing to take credit for shaping my view on the world through narration five seconds ago. Are you gonna look me in the eye and tell me the desire to interpret something worthy of adoration and more powerful than me as a dommy princess is written in the very nature of the universe or are you going to show me your browser history like a man
#this is a joke but the 'so where did i get the Idea of a princess from??' still stands#since we remember nothing and don't seem to have many ideas about like. what the world looks like#but when given the conception of 'we're a hero' from the narrator's Quest#we immediately go to 'so the thing you're telling us to kill is a Princess' -> i.e something I'm not SUPPOSED to kill#and in fact am supposed to respect and cherish#and/or pledge eternal loyalty to#(and then on a deeper level we KNOW that we're the dragon#we're the biggest threat to her we're what has the power to trap her and keep her here#we're a monster just like her)#but my point remains. as a god-entity stripped of memory where did we get the idea of a (human/like) Princess. do we still have like...#the threads of common narratives sort of built into our structure b/c we're the god-half concerned with Shaping and Naming and Order?#that would kind of slap#anyway uh. dragging myself offstage now#slay the princess#slay the princess spoilers#stp spoilers
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Jungkook
Green| Part 01
A good idea not thought through.
Tags/Warnings: Rabbit hybrid!Jungkook, Fox hybrid!Reader, Single Dad!AU, strangers to lovers, Fluff, romance, angst, suggestive, mentioned smut but sfw
Length: 3.7k Words
-> Masterlist
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When Jimin had set this whole date up, Jungkook had expected.. Nothing, really.
As far as he knows, he’s supposed to meet you at the restaurant right here, and you supposedly know exactly which table he sits at- but what he did not expect, was for you to be so.. Pretty.
You’re clearly a fox hybrid, distinctive hybrid features standing out, very much well taken care of. The second you sit down, he notices even the shape of your pupils being the same as a common fox’s, though they don’t make him feel intimidated at all. Not as they should, at least.
Jungkook remembers the teasing jokes back in school, or the struggle to earn his spot even later in life as a prey hybrid. Many people still believe that he’s not a good fit for a leading position in his company as a rabbit, unable to apparently make important decisions with a realistic view on things or not mentally strong enough to withstand the stress of responsibility. But he’s not just a meek little bunny.
And from the looks of it, you’re not a dangerous predator either.
“Well, Jimin wasn’t lying when he told me you were.. Cute.” You say, and Jungkook takes in a deep breath- and you take it as a bad sign, instantly going back on your words. “Not as in, not-to-be-taken-seriously-cute, but like- uh.. Your ears just look.. Pretty?” You tell him, and at that, his eyes move to look at you from the rim of his wineglass, one of his mentioned black rabbit ears slowly standing up.
Silver piercings are decorating it. It’s an uncommon sight- but you decide it fits him.
“...thanks.” He nods, before he licks his lips, and averts his eyes. “I apologize, It’s been.. A while since I’ve been on a date.” He shamefully admits, but you wave him off.
“It’s not a problem.” You deny. “I don’t go on dates often either.”
“How come?” He wonders, seeing an opportunity to spark some smalltalk, so he can find out a little more about you.
“Just.. Not the time. And no partner to go on one with.” You giggle, thanking the waitress for your glass of wine. “I’m usually pretty busy with work.”
“Work?” He asks, and you nod, your pretty fox ears suddenly standing tall with pride, tail swinging behind you. It’s pretty cute, in his humble opinion.
“I’m an author!” You beam happily. “I write children’s books, and fantasy novels.” You explain, and Jungkook’s thoughts instantly go back to his daughter, currently in the care of Jimin at his house. Did you write a book she’s seen before?
“Children’s books?” He wonders, feeling a bit stupid for just asking you, and never giving you anything in return.
“Yep.” You chirp. “Mostly.. Very simple one’s. Ages 4 to 7.” You explain. “And you? What do you do for a living if I may ask?” You wonder, resting your chin on your hands.
“I’m.. The vice president of HLC at the moment. Hopefully I might get a promotion at some point.” He chuckles, and your eyes widen.
“Wow.. That's. Okay, that’s huge.” You laugh a bit uneasy now.
“Does that make you uncomfortable?” He wonders, a bit confused. Both of his ears are up now, his body becoming more and more comfortable with your presence.
“A little?” You admit. You’re honest, it seems like. He already decides it’s a very positive point. “I feel a little.. Out of your league, so to say.” You say a bit jokingly, taking a sip from your wine. He shakes his head.
“Don't worry about it.” He denies, reassuring you. “We both have our places in life.”
“So it seems.” You nod, while you wait for your dinner to be served.
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A place Jungkook had not seen you in his life, was beneath him, in his bed.
But that’s exactly where you’ve ended up, most of your clothes already having been stripped from your bodies, lying somewhere in the bedroom. He honestly blamed his attraction to you on his hormones at first, and the fact that he’d neglected his natural need for physical intimacy for so long due to his single-father situation, but in this moment, he knows that it’s more than just that.
And that just screams trouble.
But right now, Jungkook can’t make himself think of anything other than you beneath his hands, skin warm as you push your bare behind right into him. He’d technically wanted to drive you home, a simple act of chivalry since your date had honestly been very nice, but somehow, you ended up agreeing to at least let the night come to an end in a more relaxed atmosphere at his apartment, since you told him that you’ve always dreamed to live in a apartment high up with a view of the city skyline.
He really just wanted to show you the view. He really doesn’t know when you both started to make out.
But he knows that it’s something you both clearly want- your hands holding onto his bedsheets almost impatiently, while he’s busy wrapping the condom over his length. If the situation was just a little different, Jungkook could see you both getting along a lot longer than for just this- but he’s got responsibilities, and he can’t just bring someone into his life without thinking about it long enough.
And also, with his daughter still at such a vulnerable age, there’s just no way she’d accept you.
Initially, he’d keep it at this. You’re in perfect breeding position, face in the pillows, behind pushed into him- but he has to see you. It’s not some magical connection type of thing, just simple attraction, and maybe, just maybe, his inner need to at least pretend for a moment that he’s just a young guy being together with his girlfriend- even though that’s never going to be the truth.
Just for a moment, he wants to pretend.
Just for one night.
On your end, this is just an adventure you’ve never been on before. Jimin had told you to come out of your shell a little, be a bit wild for once, and meet his best friend who’s got a ‘just as dry’ intimate life as you did. And you can’t deny that this friend- Jungkook- is anything but charming, and attractive. Despite being a prey hybrid, he’s oozing a certain sense of confidence that’s not overbearing, but simply comfortable to be around.
But all good things must come to an end- and to spare the poor young man the awkwardness, you get up in the middle of the night- early morning, barely three AM.
Putting on your clothes, and somewhat fixing your hair, you carefully make sure to write a small note to leave on his kitchen table. Your face is already bare, since you both did shower yesterday before going to bed- so you don’t have to worry about that.
Maybe he’d like to meet you again? Well, you surely left your number on the note for him to reach out to, if he so decides to do so.
However, just as you try and walk out, you notice something.. Odd.
A small, childrens-size pale green wintercoat, hanging on the wall next to the entrance. Tiny shoes, green, frog-themed rain boots, and an equally themed little umbrella hanging on the wall as well, next to what you assume must be Jungkook’s clothes. These things clearly belong to a child- and now that you pay more attention to it, you do smell the uniquely scent profile of a kid in the apartment.
And the scents are too alike to deny that it must be his.
Panic starts to bubble up inside you. If he has a child, there must be a mother to it as well, right? Maybe not, but the chance is too high for you to really take any chances. Jimin didn’t mention that at all- if he’d told you that this rabbit wanted to cheat and not just ‘go on a date’, you would’ve never agreed to it!
Did you just become a homewrecker?
You’re taking a step to take your note with you again, but you instead hear Jungkook move around in his bedroom, sleepily calling out your name- and that makes your instincts go haywire, as you instead basically rip the door open after somewhat slipping into your heels, and fetching your small handbag from the floor near the way too cute rainboots staring at you oh-so innocently.
The door snaps shut behind you, and you don’t look back as you rush down and into the elevator, leaving the fancy apartment building and this whole mistake behind.
Already fuming as you call Jimin, uncaring about the time.
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“I’m so sorry!” Jimin apologizes to Jungkook, who just sighs as he washes Minji’s plastic dishes in the sink, while the little girl is occupied on the couch, watching her favorite show before bed. “I didn’t think you both would end up here though-”
“It doesn’t matter anyways.” The young father denies, putting every piece of cutlery on the side to dry later. “It’s not like it would’ve worked out anyways. I just wish she knew that this was just a huge misunderstanding.” He clarifies, turning off the faucet before he grabs a towel to dry the dishes.
“I tried explaining it to her, really.” Jimin whines, feeling incredibly guilty for screwing this up so badly for his friend. “But she doesn’t believe me at all.” He sighs, sitting down.
“Like I said, it’s not like it would’ve worked out.” Jungkook shakes his head. “Minji already got nervous when Taehyung dropped her off this morning already just because her scent lingered.”
“But.. Isn't there, like, any way of getting her used to it?” Jimin wonders. “Like, I swear I’ve seen predator-prey couples with a prey child, and they looked fine to me.”
“Rare.” Jungkook just shrugs, putting the plastic cutlery and dishes away in their respective places. “It’s really fine. I just hope she doesn’t feel guilty about things, or believes that she was just some sort of.. Body for me to use.” He says, ears low against his head, simply flopping down. It’s obvious that Jungkook is upset about it all. Because from what Jimin had told him, you’d felt horrible, believing that you were some part in him cheating on the mother of his child- unaware that she’s not even in the picture, and hasn’t been for years.
“I’m gonna try and convince her one way or another.” Jimin sighs. “Really, this is so fucked up. The main reason I tried setting you both up WAS Minji!” He whines to himself, thanking Jungkook for the glass of water he offers him, before the young father sits down across from him at the kitchen table.
“What do you mean?” He wonders.
“She loves kids!” The human reveals. “She really does, but she herself can’t have any. Which I think might be why she feels so strongly in this situation.” He explains, making Jungkook sigh.
Well, that just makes him feel so much worse.
“There’s got to be a way to make this right somehow.” Jimin complains to himself, while looking over at Minji, who’s busy watching the TV with her favourite plush toy in her lap keeping her company. “I’m really sorry. I thought.. I don’t know. I forgot that because you’re two different hybrids, you might not get along too well..” He says, but Jungkook shakes his head.
“I.. We got along very well, actually. I really liked her. Or rather, still like her.” He chuckles a bit bitterly to himself. “But I guess finding a partner is out of the question for me, at least until Minnie is a bit older.”
“A bit older? Jungkook, you said she probably will stay scared of predator hybrids until she’s what? Twelve?” His human friend reminds him.
“...generally, yeah.” He shrugs.
“Jungkook, no. That can’t.. I refuse to accept that.” He shakes his head. “I’ll explain it all to her, I promise, and you’ll try and make this work with Minji when the time comes. Please.” Jimin says. “I don’t want to see you so lonely all the time.”
“I’m not lonely- I have Minji.” Jungkook refuses.
“You know what I mean.” Jimin presses.
“...alright.” Jungkook sighs. “If- IF- you somehow work it out with her, and she wants to.. Talk, give her my number. And not the office phone, please.” He runs a hand over his face, before he gets up with his friend to bring him to the door. “But don’t pressure her. If she doesn’t want to see me again, that’s fine too.”
“I won’t.” Jimin promises. “Promise.”
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You’re sitting in front of Jungkook again, in a public cafe, a hot cup of milky coffee in front of you, while he seems equally as nervous with his own iced americano in his hands, fingers tracing the pearling condensation a little.
“So.” You start, looking at him, nervously licking your lips.
“So.” He nods. “I have a child.”
“So I’ve noticed.” You answer him, legs swinging a bit back and forth, due to the chair being a bit too high for you.
“Her mother.. Left, pretty much a few weeks after she was born.” He explains in a neutral tone, staring down at his beverage. “No one really has an answer why. But she just.. It was as if she was disgusted with her own child, pretty much right after birth.” Jungkook recites the events. “Didn’t want to hold her, got angry when she cried, refused to take care of her. We thought it might just.. Be postpartum depression?” He leans his head to the side a little. “It happens more than one might think, after all. But it never got any better.” He shakes his head. “So.. We decided to split up, and I took care of Minji by myself.”
“Did she ever.. Maybe reach out?” You wonder, but Jungkook shakes his head.
“She re-married again. Lives in Italy now, with her new husband and stepchildren.” He chuckles a bit. “I’m happy she’s happy, you know? Just wish it went a little different.” He honestly reveals.
“How old is Minji?” You wonder, dreading the answer. Because from both the scent and the size of the clothes and shoes in his home, she must be young.
“She’s three and a half.” He reveals, and both of you become quiet.
Oh.
Well, it was nice while it lasted. With his daughter this young, there’s just no way you could ever move forward with your friendship even- considering you’re still a predator hybrid at the end of the day, something that surely will scare the poor little bunny half to death. Why do you always have to get crushes on the worst possible people?
“Well, I’m sure.. She’s very lucky to have you as a dad.” You nod to yourself, swallowing hard. “And you’ll soon find a proper partner as well. You’re very likable after all.” You praise, praying that he can’t see the way your eyes begin to water.
“I’m sorry.” He answers, and his voice sounds just as dissappointed as he feels. “I.. Wish we would’ve met under different circumstances.”
“Then you wouldn’t have Minji.” You deny, spotting two drops of your tears having fallen onto the table. “Sorry, I’m a crybaby...” You say, fetching a tissue from your handbag.
“We could still try-” He starts, but you shake your head.
“No, she’s gonna be terrified of me, I don’t wanna scare her.” You refuse, drying your cheeks with a good amount of embarrassment, large fox ears pinned back in shame of it all.
“Minji is a lot braver than one might think.” Jungkook chuckles, reaching out to help you wipe off your slightly smudged mascara from beneath your eyes. “She just.. She might just be a bit shy. Or very shy, most likely.” He adds, and you giggle a bit.
“Jungkook.. I’m sorry I’m me.” You say, but he shakes his head, smiling at you.
“Don’t ever apologize for something like that.”
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You decide to meet up again at Jimin’s birthday party- the human having invited you both, and Minji as well for the dinner he’d organized at his favourite restaurant in town. You’ll have the whole venue for yourselves to make it both easier for the staff, and everyone attending.
Jungkook is nervous in his seat, Minji next to him in her seat, happily coloring in her little book that he brought with him to keep her occupied, different shades of green crayons all over her spot at the table.
It’s then that the door to the restaurant opens, and you step in, together with Min Yoongi- a coworker and fellow predator hybrid whom you’ve befriended a few years ago, or so Jimin said. The big cat hybrid is apparently a tiger- though his ears and tail aren’t even slightly orange, instead monochrome white and black, his light eyes proving the fact that he’s not a standard.
But, Jungkook can’t look at him for too long, because he’s too busy blatantly staring at you instead, with your pretty face, dressed up for the occasion. So much so, that Minji has to pull on his sleeve to get his attention back, looking at him before she tilts her head, small bunny ears in between her hair moving on a constant, since so much is going on.
This will be it. If she gets too scared, he’ll have to go home early- and basically bury his hope of ever building something with you.
But even though she does seem nervous, she’s not yet scared- instead clinging to her father by instinct, who’s calm, mostly that is. “Come, let’s say hi to everyone, yeah?” He offers her, and she reluctantly gets up with him, clinging to his hand while they both walk towards Yoongi and you, who’s just hanging up your coat.
“Long time no see.” Jungkook offers Yoongi, who nods and shakes his hand politely, before he leans down to make himself as small as he can, in hopes of maybe getting at least something out of the little girl- but she instead steps behind Jungkook, the predator hybrid too intimidating. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh don’t be. She grew quite a lot in a year.” Yoongi dismisses, while you reluctantly walk closer, politely moving to shake Jungkook’s hand as well- but the rabbit hybrid instead moves to give you a hug, despite his daughter being so close. And much to your surprise, this action alone seems to spark Minji’s interest- her head poking around Jungkook’s legs, just to look at you curiously, especially your fluffy tail that’s nervously swaying from side to side behind you.
“Say hello, Minji.” Jungkook urges her, but as if snapped out from her trance, she shakes her head, instead running back to her seat at the table where she picks up her crayons once more.
“She’s cute.” You say, earning Jungkook’s attention back. “Looks.. A lot like you.” You mention, and he nods.
“I know. A lot of people tell me she’s like.. A mini-version of me.” He chuckles, walking towards his own spot next to his daughter. “Do you.. Want to sit next to me?” He wonders, and you nod, accepting happily. Sitting next to him will get Minji used to your scent, while also putting a safety barrier between her and him, so she can figure you out from afar.
Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea.
Something you’re very much surprised about, is that throughout the entire evening, the little hybrid girl does not seem to complain whatsoever. Not once does she get fidgety, or whiny about sitting in one spot for too long- and once she does, Jungkook is quick and skilled in handling her well, calming her down or occupying her attention for a moment.
Though, at some point, she does get up and roam around a little, under the watchful eye of her father of course.
You’re currently talking to Jungkook about your work, when you notice something on your tail, one slight look from you revealing that it’s the little girl, carefully running her small hands over the fur, interest too great to really let her inner fear control her. You know she’s on high alert- ears standing tall and completely turned towards you, motions freezing entirely when she notices that you’ve noticed her.
Jungkook smiles at his daughter. “It’s pretty, hm?” He asks her, and nods, before she reaches out to have him pick her up and sit her on his lap, where she stares at you, now a lot more bold in the arms of her father. She’s visibly taking your entire appearance in, before she looks at Jungkook again, attempting to pull one of his jet-black rabbit ears, making him laugh and gently prevent her from doing so. “What do you want with dad’s ears, huh?” He jokingly scolds. “You’ve got your own, right there!” He reminds her, gently pulling her own equally dark ears, which makes her laugh.
You can’t help but smile fondly at the interaction.
That is until suddenly, the little girl boldly reaches out for your ears now- something that makes you both surprised and excited- your head leaning closer so she can clumsily grab at your ears, laughing most likely at how soft they are. It clearly makes Jungkook hopeful, his own tail wiggling around without his own knowledge as he watches the short but warm interaction with you two.
It’s obvious that while Jungkook is around, she feels comfortable and safe enough to interact with you- but as soon as his attention is somewhere else, she becomes more withdrawn and suspicious again, which is natural. But the fact that she’s not panicking at least, is already a great sign.
Maybe there’s a chance.
Maybe this could really work.
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#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagine#bts jungkook imagine#hybrid imagine#bts jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook imagines#jungkook imagines#bts jeon jungkook imagine#bts jeon jungkook x reader
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For the Record
Pairing: Ex-husband John Price x GN!reader
TW//CW: Mention of manipulation, John trying to change, slight suggestiveness, nothing serious though.
A/N: I do plan on making this a mini-series but I'm getting surgery so I'm not sure when I'll be able to make a part two and put out.
Words: 3,185
You are currently reading Chapter one
The Do-Over Series Masterlist - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five
This was possibly the worst idea in your entire life. You've known fools who have made better decisions.
But it's John. And it's you. Who are we really kidding here? Five years of being divorced and you haven't even been on a single date with someone else.
So when you conveniently ran into each other and he suggested it, you couldn't say no.
What are you even doing with your life? You groaned, pulling at your face in stress. "For the record this is self destructive." You wandered your house, making sure everything was clean and in place, no dust or cobwebs lingering in corners. He didn't need to know how long it'd been since someone last came over. He'd call you a hermit again.
"For the record I am aware of that. Come on, don't go crying to your mom like a child when this inevitably breaks your heart. Again. She doesn't want to hear about it." It's always been a bad habit of yours to talk to yourself, John always found it amusing.
Adjusting the pillows on your couch for the fifth time your eyes caught a glimpse of an old stain, bringing back one too many memories for your liking. Skin, all skin, laying like a French girl waiting to be painted, or Princess Leia in her stupid bikini. But there was no bikini, just John and his stupid hat.
"Enough of that." You nearly had to slap the thought out of yourself. "I'm screwed."
No, no. You weren't screwed. All you need to do is keep your composure. Remember why this didn't work out last time. Keep yourself together. Don't ever let him know you miss him. There would be no recovery from that.
What was the reason you agreed to this again?
He lied last time. He manipulated you. You were too young to know better. Now you do. All you have to do is use each of his answers to these 'questions' he wanted to ask you as a reminder of what he'd done. Keep your head out of his hands.
He did seem remorseful for what he did. He actually apologized. Promised things would be different now. He said he missed you. "Stupid sympathetic creature." You cursed at yourself.
You couldn't even lie and say you didn't miss him too. His warmth, his bear hugs, how he'd listen to you and ask about your day. How he'd take an interest in you. No one else asked about your day. Or gave such damn good hugs. Not to mention kisses...
The questions will make one thing clear. How you've grown and changed. How you've grown apart. The person you are now probably isn't even compatible with him anymore. Too different. Not a good fit for who he was when you were together. You had boundaries now. Right?
The knock on your door had you nearly jumping out of your skin with nerves. He was here. Like, actually here. And he knocked. He knocked on the door that used to be the door to his house. That must have felt weird.
Opening the door to your ex husband standing there felt both like a dream and a nightmare.
"Hey." His voice was a little rougher than it used to be, probably from more yelling and smoking those damn cigars of his. You did have to admit it was almost hotter now.
This man was going to take you to an early grave. The worst part was that you were going willingly, letting him take your hand and gently help you down into the six foot deep hole you'd spent the last five years trying to dig yourself out of.
"Hey.." You forced your eyes to stay on his face, staring at his nose so you wouldn't have to make eye contact. You'd probably strangle yourself if you let your eyes wander over his broad shoulders and strong but soft torso and got caught. Keep your eyes on his face. Look at the cute mole on his nose. Look. At. It.
"What do you think?" He asked as he stepped into your house. Stepping past the threshold of what had been protecting you from all outside intrusion. Allowing the man who hurt you to walk right back into your life.
As he stepped past you, you couldn't stop your eyes from wandering over his back, drinking all of him in again. You hadn't gotten to the last time you saw him when he suggested this whole thing. He seemed more grown now, despite being the same height and roughly the same size, he just seemed different, more mature.
This whole thing was just to remind yourself you didn't want him back in your life. The last goodbye. This was how you were going to let the last fragments of yourself that still cared about him go. They were the only thing that was going to be left in that grave.
"Uh... About what?" You weren't even paying attention, not sure if you'd missed something he'd said. Stupid move to zone out like that really.
John chuckled, the sound filling your stomach with butterflies, a heat uncharacteristically rising to your face. You hated butterflies. Moths were superior, eating clothes was cooler than eating carcasses, and tasting with your feet was weird. "My flannel. You gave it to me, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. Anyways." You lead him to the kitchen, dishes set out haphazardly on the table that you'd gotten distracted from fully and properly plating. "I was going to set the table, placemats and all. But that seems a bit too fancy for what this is. I don't know what I was thinking. That's weird for the setting."
You went to grab the 'fancy' plates from the table, along with the placemats, but John stopped you, leaning his chest against your back he gently put his hands on yours, pulling them away from changing the tableware. "Leave it, love. Reminds me of a first date."
The feeling of his chest pressed against your back had you fully straightening your posture very quickly, almost as if he'd electrocuted you with his unexpected touch, accidently headbutting him in the process.
He groaned, taking a step back and clutching his nose. "I'm so sorry." You fret in a panic, raising your hands to try and remove his to check on his poor nose, but you stopped yourself from touching him.
"It's fine, dear. I should have remembered your reactions to suddenness from when we were together." Sniffing, he pulled his hands away from his face. "Not bleeding. Just a good bonk, no harm done." He reassured, ruffling your hair, making you glare softly at him. He knew you hated that. Revenge, you suspected.
"Even still, I'm sorry." You apologized again, shuffling on your feet awkwardly. This wasn't going well. Definitely for the best.
"You have anything to drink? Maybe that would help." You weren't sure if he meant it'd help the pain or to help smooth out some rough edges between the two of you. Probably the ladder. You were tense, it didn't take a perceptive individual to take notice of that. However, you didn't drink anymore, so that would be pointless. He didn't know that though.
"Um." You had to think for a moment. "I don't drink anymore, but I might have something. Scotch? I think a friend left it here one time."
"Yeah, scotch works." He smiled softly at you, his crows feet becoming more visible. Damn he was cute. Was it derogatory to call a man of his caliber cute? Who cares.
"Okay, I'll go see if I can find it." You walked away from him a little too quickly for it to be casual, walking out into the garage to check for the scotch hiding in the fridge. Probably. You weren't actually sure this scotch existed.
By some miracle the scotch did exist, tucked safely in the back of the mostly empty garage fridge. You didn't even recognize the brand of scotch that was on the bottle, hopefully it wasn't terrible. Even if it was, that could be well deserved.
Walking back into the house you held the bottle of scotch a bit triumphantly. "There's a good chance this scotch is terrible." You placed it down on the counter, moving to grab him a glass.
"I'd settle for drinkable, love." He really needed to stop with the pet names. Your poor heart and constitution couldn't handle them. Not when his voice was so damn hot. It was criminal. Really.
"I make no promises, this friend of mine doesn't have a reputation for good taste." You poured him half a glass, was that too much?No. He could hold his alcohol well.
Not drinking for so long has completely skewed your ability to measure how much was too much.
Turning around you brought his glass over to the table, noticing something you had definitely not put there. "You lit candles?" You set his glass down by his plate, it was at the same spot of the table he used to eat. You hated that you'd retained that knowledge this whole time. And that you were still accommodating to that preference of his.
"I thought it'd help set the mood." He sat down at the table, taking a sip from the scotch. You took his lack of spontaneous vomiting as a good sign.
"What's 'the mood'?" You walked away from him, pulling dinner out of the oven. You really cooked a homemade dinner for your ex husband. Maybe you had lost your mind. Not to mention it was one of his favorite dishes. It was also really easy to make. Shepherd's pie. Not a personal favorite.
"Hopeful?" He chuckled, smiling at you again. The shepherd's pie did not go unnoticed by him. He noticed anything and everything. Damn his job. Damn him.
You didn't say anything, sitting down at the table before you served him, putting food on his plate for him, the proper amount for him. Old habits never dying and all that shit.
His smile softened towards you, watching your brow furrow in self frustration. He thought you were being really cute, all nervous and trying to keep walls up despite all your actions being to try to make him comfortable.
"Your hair is different. It suits you. I like it. Do you like it?" He refrained himself from touching your hair. It had changed in style over the five years of being out of contact. He felt this style suited you better, it was more you than anything you had while you were married to him. He'd never meant to control you the way he did.
"Oh, yeah. I do. I've had it like this for a while. You really like it?" You absentmindedly moved to touch your hair, fiddling with it. You didn't even think about what he might think of it. Moving past doing things because you thought it would please him. You were working on doing things for yourself. Something a self help book said to do.
"I wouldn't bring it up if I was just going to lie to you. It's cute." He seemed sincere enough. Maybe he did actually like it.
You watched a bit anxiously as he took the first bite of his food, hoping beyond hope you remembered how to make it how he liked. Closing his eyes he let out a soft hum of approval. It was good. He liked it. He wasn't gagging at least. Though he'd never gagged on your cooking, even when you burned soup. He still ate it and asked for seconds. He was always one to spare your feelings.
"It's good?" You couldn't stop yourself from asking, cursing the part of yourself that still required his approval and praise. Praise sounded really good right now. His voice praising you.
You needed to get out more, reconnect with nature. Maybe that would fix you. If not you could always simply choose to become a weird witch lady in the forest and never return to society.
"Of course. Always is." Something in his eyes told you he knew what you wanted from your question. "Best shepherd's pie I've ever had." He indulged you, taking another bite. If you weren't careful you'd find yourself married to him again without a single question asked. He couldn't have you again. Not after last time.
"Doubtful." He traveled a lot, ate a lot of different places. You were sure he'd found one better somewhere.
John took a deep breath, deciding not to argue on this. If you didn't want to believe him you didn't have to. He'd only done this to himself. Trust needed to be earned, not given. "So, how's work?" He changed the subject.
"Work? It's um... well it's work." You'd served yourself a much smaller portion, and it still felt like too much. You'd barely had three bites.
"That good huh?" He chuckled, trying to keep things light between you. He of all people knew how much work could suck sometimes.
He did what he did because he was one of the few people who could. Got his hands dirty to keep people like yours clean. To try to make sure the people he cared about wouldn't be the next dead and bombed people on the news. He wasn't perfect. He knew that. His work had some fatal flaws. He knew that.
Better him doing it than someone who would follow orders blindly. Someone who was willing to go too far. Do too much. Make wrong decisions easily. Hurt the wrong people. John knew who was and wasn't his enemy.
"It's really not so bad. Keeps me busy. Helps me get out of the house. I like my coworkers. Pay is decent too, keeps me afloat well enough. Sometimes things get a little tight." Why did you admit that? He's going to get in, he's going to use that against you. Get you hooked on his leash again.
He looked at you for a moment, thinking before he began. "You struggle with money? If I would have known-"
"I can handle it. I don't need charity. Not your responsibility." You put an end to his offer before he could give it. You did not need something chaining you to him. Didn't need that reliance.
"Alright. I'll let you handle it." He backed down, trying not to put you on edge. He wasn't the same man he once was. His views on things had changed. Realized you only worked as a person when you didn't feel trapped or controlled. He wouldn't try to control you again.
Aside from getting back into your life that is.
"Thank you. Because I can handle it. Promise." You missed when your thoughts were wandering, that was more fun than this tension.
"If you came to me I'd always help you. Give you an easier life. I tried to give you an easier life, took care of everything for you. Made it so you didn't even need a job." He knew he shouldn't have said it as soon as the words left his mouth.
"It's depressing not having a job, I wanted a job. Staying at home and not working was only fun and enjoyable when you were home. Otherwise it was terrible for my mental health. I need to be doing something." He should have understood that aspect about you better, since he was the same way.
"All I wanted was to give you more time for your hobbies, you always complained you were too tired after work. All I wanted was to feel like I was providing for you. Like I was doing something nice for you. That I was working hard to provide for you so you could just relax." His intentions weren't rooted in your purposeful destruction, even still, it hadn't been a good situation for you.
"I'm not a self motivated person. I need something to do, a routine. It was fine when you were home because you would keep me accountable, but when you were away all I'd do was rot and wait and hope you'd come home alright. It wasn't healthy for me." In the middle of being at a standstill it's easy to feel guilt for not progressing. Especially when you were raised to work.
"I'm sorry." Apologies came from him so easily now. He really had matured. He would have never taken accountability for his part in things before.
It wasn't all his fault.
Still, between the two of you he was the one who should have known better.
"It's alright." Forgiveness was something you'd found to be quite freeing in recent years. Easier to move on from things. Not dwell on them so severely. This was different from being a pushover. You weren't just lying down and taking it. No, you held the control this way.
Looking down at his plate then your own you took a deep breath, sighing softly. You really weren't hungry enough to finish your food but you hated to waste. "Need help with that?" He took notice, because of course he did.
"Sure." You switched your plate with his, giving him his fork and taking your own. Standing up you took his plate to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher. Starting to clean up dinner while he minimized waste for you. A human garbage disposal is what you used to call him teasingly.
Once he was done he brought your plate and put it in the dishwasher, getting to work on washing dishes while you put the food away. All too quickly slipping into old routines. This was not good. Keep your guard up.
When everything was clean and put away you refilled his scotch before you both migrated to the living room. The couch felt too intimate so you opted for the floor, resting your back against the couch.
This felt too much like your first date. But you knew that was the point, a do-over of sorts.
But this was different. It had to be different. That whole life was a lie.
You stared at him for a long time, he was sitting on the couch, his drink in his hand resting on his knee. He stared back, keeping eye contact. Damn this was not going to go well. His big soft eyes could not lure you into caring for him again.
That was a lie. They definitely could.
"So, we're asking thirty six questions? Is that what you said? Are we coming up with the questions or are they predetermined?" Finally you looked away from him, crawling over to push the button on the electric fireplace to turn it on, then immediately regretted it. Too romantic.
"Predetermined, love. I have a list for us to go through." If he kept up with the sappy pet names you were sure you were going to be rolling on the floor like a dog for him, begging to be loved and given attention again by the end of the night.
This can still work out for you. Keep your head on straight. Don't fall for his cheap tricks. This is still the man who manipulated you, even if he's apologized and asked for penance. If he wanted to, he could do it again. Don't let him.
"So then, should we begin?"
#x reader#oneshot#reader insert#gender neutral reader#cod fandom#cod#angst#cod fanfic#john price#john price cod#captain john price#captain price#captain johnathan price#john price x reader#captain john price x reader
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The summoning (jmp x tate Langdon x reader smut)
Summary: you had always been fascinated with serial killers and true crime, one day you decided to try and summon your two favourite killers
Warnings: smut, three way, oral (tate receiving), p in v sex, doggy style 😏, summoning a ghost, ouija board,
Word count: 1,3k (another short one it was supposed to be longer)
A/n: this is a request by @villains-are-hot, thank you for the request and once again I apologise that it was very rushed at the end and I took ages to post this 😊
•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•.
For as long as you could remember you had a unhealthy obsession with true crime/ serial killers. Some may say it's far from normal, it was frightening. You knew stories of cases watched all the documentaries and more.
Some people say it's the type of obsession you hear killers having before they kill. You didn't care it was a interest that you were so passionate about. You preferred learning about serial killers, how their mind works, what drove them to do it. The ones you liked learning about the most was Tate Langdon who got shot dead in his bedroom after shooting up his school one day in 1994. And the other was James Patrick march a well known serial killer from the 1920s to the early 1930s. Legend has it they both still reside in their place of death.
You didn't know if that was true or not, you visited the hotel that James Patrick march resides in but nothing, you couldn't exactly go to the murder house since people live there. It intrigued you deeply, the thought it could be true or not.
You didn't know what you were doing when the idea popped into your head, you thought it won't work but it was worth a go. Now researching things to do, how to summon ghosts, some where a bit far fetched others seemed fake but you were willing nonetheless. Finding a method writing down everything that had to be done.
You sat in front of the oujia board your fingers delicately on the triangle piece. You took deep breaths trying to stay calm circling the board three times before saying "James Patrick march and Tate Langdon I invite you to this space" waiting a few seconds you felt eerily quiet and cold.
"Is there anyone here?" You asked the board, you felt something pushing the triangle to yes, you gasped in shock now feeling nervous but your fingers still remain on the piece. "How many sprits are here?" You then asked feeling uneasy slightly regretting your decision. The piece moved to the number 2 you didn't know if it was you or if it was actually two spirits here but you slowly asked your next question "w-who are you?".
The board moved to around spelling out two initials JMP and TL you gasped removing your hands from the board standing up. Completely forgetting to say goodbye. You immediately grabbed the board putting it away "what the fuck, it's probably me doing it it's got to be" you whispered to yourself.
"Not quite dear" a voice chimed making you yelp in fright. "What the fuck!?" You turned around seeing two guys there awfully familiar to you, they looked identical like discrete descent, "w-who are you?" You asked in fear.
"I'm James Patrick march and this is-" "Tate Langdon" they said, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion "you're both dead no this can't be true." You couldn't believe what you were seeing they looked exactly like the killers you knew so much about. "How are you here?" You asked a thousand questions running around your head.
"Well you summoned us" Tate chuckled pointing to the ouija board. That's when you realised "shit I forgot to say goodbye" mentally cursing yourself, "it's quite alright dear, but I must ask how did you manage to get us free?" James asked.
"Dude she used the ouaji board to get us out" Tate said like James was dumb. "That's fascinating" James eyes light up "I don't know how we could ever thank you" James added. Tate's eyes on you like you’re his prey, swallowing a lump in your throat as his steps grew closer to you from behind. "I've got an idea" Tate's breath on your neck sending shivers down your spine. "Y-you don't need to thank me" your voice was above whisper unsure what they mean.
"Well boy enlighten us with your idea" James's velvety voice made you shiver more. You couldn't deny they were both very attractive despite their tendency to killing. "Well she's pretty isn't she? Don't you agree?" Tate smirked his hands running down the soft skin of your arms. "I do agree with you she is quite remarkable" James agreed beckoning his steps closer to you.
You didn't know if your body was filled with fear or anticipation maybe both. Closing your eyes feeling their breaths breeze across your features. James colds fingertips grazing gracefully along your bare arms bringing goosebumps to their wake. "I think we shall reward her for setting us free from our eternal resistances" James smirked his pencil moustache raising up.
"I was thinking the same" Tate chuckled with a devilish smirk, you didn't know what to feel scared? Or turned on? Maybe both. Feeling their cold hands on you but you didn't protest instead you let out a small sigh tugging on your shirt removing it from your body your head felt like it was spinning feeling their lips on your neck. You felt yourself being guided to your bed. Seeing Tate now above you with a mischievous smirk on his face.
You didn't know where James was until Tate pull away from you, seeing James now in his briefs flipping you over on your hands and knee. You whimpered in anticipation for what's to come feeling James's cold fingers hooking into your underwear peeling the fabric of your underwear off you and into the floor. Tate in front of you his impressive length in-front of you, holding yourself on one hand stroking him, earning a low groan erupted from his mouth. You felt cold fingertips teasing your folds collecting your arousal bringing it to your clit circling it in slow torturous motions.
A small gasp left your lips, your body automatically responding to James's touch "that's it dear" he says huskily, Tate still knelt infront of you his eager length desperate for attention. You took Tate's cock in your hand stroking him kitten licking the tip making him buck his hips into your touch more. You took Tate in your mouth swirling your tongue along the tip, gasping as you felt James enter your heat.
James thrusted into you slowly you moaned against Tate's length. A low groan rumbled from his throat his hips bucked further in your throat. James thrusts grew more faster and harder, tears forming in your eyes. "Fuck" Tate hissed his hips essentially fucking your throat.
"You feel wonderful darling" James hissed his grip on your hips tight, nails digging into your skin only adding to your pleasure. "Fuck" you moaned feeling Tate twitch in your mouth signalling you that he was close. You kept your movements along Tate's cock till he releases into the back of your throat, swallowing every drop. James kept his movements thrusting harshly into you you felt close to the edge "I'm so close" you moaned. Tate was watching you and James with a smirk, his skin flustered. James didn’t stop his movements hitting that spot guaranteed to make you see stars.
With a few more harsh deep thrusts, your body trembles, back arching releasing over James’s length trigging his own release deep inside you. His thrusts became sloppy till they came to a halt. Trying to catch your breath “that was something else” you chuckled. James and tate shared a wicked smile between them, “oh we’re don’t done, we’re only getting started” Tate’s voice make a shiver run down your spine waiting on what’s to come.
#evan peters#american horror story#james patrick march#tate langdon#kai anderson#kit walker#jimmy darling#ahs asylum#evan peters x reader#kyle spencer#austin sommers#evan peters x you#evan peters requests#evan peters fluff#evan peters imagine#evan peters smut#evan peters fanfic#evan peters fanfiction#evan peters x y/n#evanpeters#ahs x reader#ahs freakshow#ahs hotel#ahs cult#ahs murder house
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Making you cry during a fight (2) - Scaramouche, Yae, Kaeya
Okay guys here you go never ask me for anything ever again /j
(part 1)
☆ ☾ ☆ ──────────────────
Scaramouche
There's a sort of deep, instinctive fear that takes root inside the place where a heart would be, as he watches tears fall after a few too-harsh words.
He's hurt you. He's been careless, he's been too difficult, too much - and it's going to drive you away. You're going to abandon him because of this incident, surely. Why would you stay with someone who makes you cry?
It's… it's not a feeling he's dealt with for many years. The fear of being left. He has not allowed anyone to get close enough to him to have any concern over whether they're around or not. Scaramouche had learned his lesson about getting attached and having emotion, after all. He had spat out whatever bitter words he pleased and felt nothing when he upset anyone he spoke to.
But those days are past, and while that's a good thing in many ways, right now it feels anything but.
"I-"
"Sorry. I shouldn't be crying," the way you apologize as if you're the one in the wrong stabs right through him. You're the one crying, yet he is being wounded just as much. It's an awful thing, caring. "Just. Just give me a moment…"
Scaramouche hesitates. He's paralyzed, caught up in the idea that anything he does or says may make things worse. But what wins out is the idea of fixing it, fixing things before you give up on him—
"Stop it. You shouldn't be the one saying sorry here. I shouldn't have said that to you, alright? You should know better than to take everything I say so seriously, honestly, I-" he sighs, irritated with himself more than you, before pulling you into his embrace. You don't pull away. Good. Maybe he hasn't entirely fucked things up. "...I didn't mean it. Sorry."
Yae
Yae Miko is not the sort of person who yells during a fight. Or at any time, really. So that hadn't been at all what had happened during your little conflict.
Rather, her words were pointed to hit where it hurt, an attempt to shut down whatever silly human nonsense you thought was worth causing a riot over. Problems came and went, and most weren't nearly as important as they may seem in the moment. Living many years had led her to this conclusion. She was a busy woman who had little interest in wasting her time arguing.
...Calculating and perhaps dismissive she may be, but she isn't cold. Yae still very much has a heart, and it skips a beat when she realizes you're nowhere to be found at the usual time she would meet with you after finishing her shrine duties. Surely you weren't that upset over it all, right?
No, you couldn't be still lingering on the issue hours later…
Well, you could. Others were far more sensitive to these things, a fact she often forgot. Yae should know better. Isn't she used to highly emotional people, after all? At least your tantrums weren't going to practically destroy the nation…
She finds you at the foot of the mountain, sitting and idly staring into the distance. The tear tracks on your face are all too telling.
Yae is not above realizing when she has done something wrong. Though she's also not one to openly apologize. She doesn't do much of anything openly.
"You don't listen to me," you tell her.
"Well, I'll try to listen more, then. Is that satisfactory?" She offers a hand to you. You wait a moment before taking it, allowing her to pull you up. "Just remember to consider my side of things as well. We can work on it… But let's not linger on this too long. Time is fleeting for mortals like you, hm?"
Kaeya
Kaeya is excellent at one thing - avoidance. In fact, he's been successfully avoiding you ever since your fight a couple of days ago. It's easier to simply wait until you've both cooled off.
That's what he tells himself. It's certainly not that the fight made him feel anxious. He's not running away from his problems, of course not.
(He's lying to himself. One wrong word and you'll leave. He knows that. It's bad enough that you had an argument, archons forbid he confronts you and it's the last straw.)
So Kaeya carefully stays out of your way, doesn't speak to you, doesn't let you catch sight of him. He'll have to deal with things eventually, he knows, but… Until then, he's content to keep things this way. Four days in you finally seek him out yourself, looking exhausted and absolutely miserable.
"Can we- can we stop fighting? You're right, I'm wrong, all that-" He can only watch as you start breaking down in front of him, a cold, sinking feeling of guilt settling in. "...Just stop ignoring me, please?"
His life has been filled with bad decisions - it seems that he's made yet another, by avoiding you so long. Now Kaeya is faced with your tears as you practically beg for his attention. It's quite the opposite of what he intended. He reaches a careful hand to brush them away. "Shh, shh. No more, alright?"
You sniffle, looking up at him. "You're not mad at me?"
"Of course not, sweetheart. I never was. We can talk about it later, okay? Let me make you feel better."
#scaramouche x reader#yae miko x reader#kaeya x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#wanderer x reader#story unfolding
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best i ever had
Anon request:
Paige seeing her ex at a party and getting jellllyyyyyyyyyy.
Pairing: Paige Bueckers x fem reader
Warnings: drinking, cussing, partying, angst
Authors Note: The reader is bisexual, Paige is unlabeled, and this is my first fic so please bear with me.
Word count: 1.4k
It was a Friday night in Storrs, Connecticut. My friend, Madi wanted me to go out with her to our local bar, Ted’s. I didn't feel like partying since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me a week ago. She said she couldn't balance school, work, basketball, and our relationship. I thought that was absolute crap because there are so many pro athletes doing exactly that, but there was nothing I could do about it anymore.
“Come on y/n, don't be a loser and cry over her for the rest of the night,” Madi begged while attempting to drag me out of bed.
“Okay rude, plus I wouldn't be a loser for crying over her. I mean we were together for almost 2 years,”
“Okay, I'm sorry. How about we just go to the bar and drink? We won't even have to dance, plus I'll let you borrow something of mine in case someone wants to flirt with you tonight.”
When she first came into my room I was half convinced to go out but once she mentioned drinking and partying I was all in. The whole school knew of my and Paige's relationship so I knew someone there would tell her they saw me at the bar. And the idea of flirting with someone else seemed like good practice for later.
As we walked up the doors of the bar Madi and I could hear the music blaring from the inside outside. I almost reached for my phone to text Paige that they were playing her favorite song, Best I Ever Had by Drake, but remembered our current situation and resisted. Inside the bar, it was super busy. Exams had just finished so everyone was drinking and dancing with their friends before Christmas break.
Madi and I walk up to some empty seats at the bar and I order a dirty Shirley, she gets a Mojito and we order 2 shots each. The first few moments of being in a bar are the absolute worst. You're so sober you don't want to be there with all the loud music and the sticky tables, but after about 2 or 3 drinks everything’s perfect and you never want to leave. That's how I'm currently feeling now. The revealing shirt I'm wearing paired with my tight skirt makes me feel like prey to everyone's eyes.
“Okay, I'm gonna go dance. Don't miss me too much” Madi said after taking her shots. She usually sees a guy she finds attractive and goes up to them asking to dance. I loved how confident she was, she was always the one who went up to guys and by the end of the night, they were all over her.
While sipping on my drink, I look around the bar. I noticed a few people from my classes and some athletes from the men's swim and basketball teams. And to my happiness, I saw most of the girls from the women's basketball team including Paige. She was wearing a blue cropped tank top paired with some black cargo pants. The sight of her abs between the cut-off of her top and the waistline of her pants got me to chug the rest of my drink and order another. It was about 3 minutes of sipping my second Shirley before someone sat beside me.
“Hey,” I heard him say. “You wanna dance?” As I turned, I saw the most gorgeous guy this campus had to offer. He was tall with dirty blond hair and blue eyes.
“Yeah, I'm down.” As we walked to the dance floor, I could feel eyes on me. I knew I'd get looks with this outfit on so it didn't bother me that much. Especially after 2 drinks and 2 shots.
“So, what's your name?” It was loud in the middle of the dance floor. Around the bar was much quieter, so he was almost yelling out his question to me.
“Y/n. What's yours?”
“Zach,” He had a cute name, I thought. I mean at least it wasn't something like Reginald or whatever.
As we danced, the feeling of being watched never left. It honestly felt like someone's eyes were burning into the back of my head so I looked around. The only eyes I made contact with were Paige’s and her gaze was murderous. I could tell she was jealous just by the way her eyebrows were pulled down, so I decided to mess with her.
I turned so that my ass was on Zach's lap and I began grinding on him while maintaining eye contact with Paige. As his hands made way to my hips I held onto them as he guided me to the song playing through the speakers. That was enough to get Paige and I knew it. I wasn't much on physical touch so me holding onto hands pissed her off more than anything. As she started to walk over to us I turned around and wrapped my send around his neck before I felt her firm grip on my upper arm. I quickly said bye to Zach as Paige brought me outside the bar.
“What the fuck was that? You're out here dancing with guys that basically look like me?” She yelled as she cornered me against the wall. She was so hot when she was mad. Her jaw clenched, and she held intense eye contact.
“Wow, your ego’s so big you think he looks like you, Paige?”
“Don't make this into an ego thing y/n, he and I are literally the same height and we both have blond hair and blue eyes.” As she spoke, her arms moved with her, she pointed to the door of the bar while speaking about Zach.
“Fine then! Maybe he did remind me of you. But you don't get to badmouth me or be angry at all because you’re the one who broke it off after almost 2 years! Two fucking years of ups and downs P. I was there with you through your whole ACL recovery and each time you cried, I held you close to me, not anyone else,” at this point, I was crying and screaming at her. I was so hurt and drunk that the words just kept spilling out.
“You said you couldn't handle us and you left. You fucking left me. So I'm trying to move on. I’m trying so fucking hard but I honestly don't think I can ever fully get over you. I don't want to get over you. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. You're the only one I can truly be myself around. Not even Madi makes me feel as safe and understood as you do,” She stood there in silence for a while. I could see the tears brimming in her eyes before she spoke.
“Let's get you home” I was so exhausted that I agreed to let her take me home. I could tell by her body language that she hadn't drunk tonight and her car in the parking lot of the bar confirmed it. She never lets anyone drive her car unless she absolutely has to, so it being back there meant she was one of the designated drivers for the night.
“Can you text Madi and tell her that I’m leaving?”
“I will once I get you home.”
Entering my apartment wasn't much of a struggle. I walked straight into my bathroom to take my makeup off as Paige went into my room.
“Here I got you something to change into” Her voice was soft. I could tell she didn't want to hurt me anymore than she already had that night.
“Thank you,” I couldn't find it in me to say anything else to her.
“I have to go back for the girls”
“I realized that, but could you stay till I fall asleep?”
“Yeah, of course,”
Getting into bed with Paige again felt euphoric. This past week I never thought It would ever happen again. Just knowing that you were falling asleep in the arms of someone you trusted with your life was something I thought I had lost forever. The longer I held onto her and breathed in her perfume, the more tired I got.
“I'm so sorry, my love. You were the best I ever had, but everything's just too much right now,” I heard her say, right before I fell asleep.
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Atheist condolence card like "sucks that your grandpa no longer exists and you'll never see him again, oh well"
I mean, I'm looking for a condolence card for a Jewish family (found a pretty good one, will be adding a note about a shared memory of the deceased and hopes for the mourners that their memory may be a blessing).
But also I have no idea why people find the concept of an afterlife comforting. Legitimately, that is unappealing to me and the idea that I would be artificially separated from the people that I love and reintroduced to them after a period of separation if there was no need for that time of mourning and loss seems. Bullshit? It seems like bullshit? Capricious and cruel at best?
Anyway when my grandpa died we got a phone call when they tossed is ashes into the ocean and we never saw him again! Being reminded that we wouldn't see him in an afterlife wasn't the sad part, the sad part was knowing that we wouldn't know him anymore, that we'd be on one side of a growing divide, that there was a before and an after and we had left him behind while we had to move forward. It wouldn't have been comforting to think "well perhaps someday when I have lived my life without him, I will see him again in a place where nothing from this life (all the things that I have done, all the things that he taught me) will matter because they were worldly and unimportant."
What was comforting at that time, and after the very many family deaths that I have experienced (and I've experienced a lot! I've been comfortable with the idea that I'll never see my loved ones again when they're gone since I was a very small child!), and what I suspect is comforting even for religious people who have experienced a loss is to be reminded of the people who are still on the same side of that dividing line, who we can still love and adore and support and make memories with.
Anyway. I'm an atheist at least partially because of my grandfather, who was a magician and a skeptic and took great joy in skewering the supernatural. It would be an insult to his memory to think that he was an angel lighting up a star in heaven or whatever the christian condolence cards say.
My grandpa did a sexy comedy magical immolation of my grandmother in front of crowds; there was a devil on the flier.
(grandma's the one on the right)
Pictured: Not someone who had much reverence for death or much patience for the supernatural:
(Funny story, when my dad came to visit this week he saw a 2-post 52U server rack on the driveway from a distance and asked me "where did you guys get the guillotine? Did I leave that here?")
But my family is probably *unusually* atheist and irreverent.
For atheists in general I don't know why people think that it's more upsetting to acknowledge the truth (that once people are dead you won't see them anymore) than to be told "comforting" lies (that you will see dead people again at some mystical place that you have no access to or proof of).
I *hate* hearing "they're in a better place" when I'm mourning someone I loved because that's something that's comforting for a religious person to say but dismisses both the way that I mourn and (frequently in my family) the beliefs of the deceased. They are not in a better place, they are *gone* and I don't want to imagine that they're somewhere waiting for me to join them again, I want to remember them for who they were and accept that they aren't in my life anymore.
"They're in heaven now" "they're with the angels now" "they're with their maker" - none of those things are true and they reflect an extremely limited worldview that I don't share and find pretty insipid actually! Thank you for trying to comfort me you are doing a poor job of it I'm going to go hang out and talk to someone who actually knew them and we'll share stories of what an asshole they were and what kind of crazy nonsense they got up to and what a big, important part of our lives they were and we'll start trying to make sense of how to fill the hole left behind with something practical and joyful and fun and honest that they would have loved instead of cardboard angel wings.
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Una Noche En Mónaco i
Vaya noche la de anoche. (What a night last night)
unem master list
pairing: charles leclerc x latina! reader
summary: after a one night stand between you and charles, charles continues on with his f1 career. until two months later, you come back claiming to be pregnant with his child.
warning: bad writing, charles is a bit of an asshole at first, is going to be a series. google translate because I do not speak french. teen pregnancy (very cliche, I know. I'm sorry)
a/n: this is based on the idea i posted yesterday, which you all seem to like a lot. i want to clarify that english isn't my first language so please be kind if you see any error, i am trying my best. Also I am very new to formula one, i am binge watching drive to survive and the races. also i hope the timeline is correct lmao. ALSO i am not very great at writing smut so don't expect to see smut until i get better at writing it. enjoy!
word count: 1,771
Just to clarify: If I'm not wrong. In 2018, Charles was 20, turning 21 in that year. Reader is going to have an age gap of two years. So reader is 18 turning 19.
gif is not mine! i love this gif tho, he looks so good.
March 2018
Everything from last night was a blur. I remember his green eyes on me. And then his lips. And then his skin. And then a bit more.
The music was louder than my thoughts. Monaco is a beautiful country with even more beautiful people.
Steph grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bar. "One Jack Daniel's with coke and one Cosmopolitan, please." She told the bartender.
"Cosmopolitan?" I asked.
"Oh girl, it's so good. It's vodka with cranberry juice, lemon juice, syrup, and..." She stopped for a second while her eyes drifted to something behind me. "Oh god, he's cute." I was going to turn around and look until she stopped me. "Wait, don't turn yet!"
By that time, the bartender put our drinks in front of us. I thanked him. "Girl, he's looking at you."
"Is he your kind of cute or mine?"
"I would do it sober, on a Monday." Okay. I have to turn around and see said man. "If he wants anything, he'll come to us." She dragged me to another part of the bar.
We danced and drank, and slowly I was forgetting about the 'gorgeous' man. I checked my phone. 12:00.
It has been two hours since we got to the bar.
When the song ended, we headed to the bar area, I asked the bartender for another drink. "Wait here, I have to run to the bathroom," Steph yelled in my ear and then made a beeline to the bathroom. I took the scenery in. The music was louder than before and everyone was dancing to a song I don't know of.
The bartender put the drink in front of me, and I thanked him again. I lost count of how many times I have thanked him.
"This is your fourth drink, is it not?" I heard a male voice next to me. I turned to see the owner of the voice.
Green eyes. Dimpled smile. His body leaned to mine.
"You're keeping tabs on me?" I asked.
"Hard not to," he said. He turned to the bartender and said, "Fermer la onglet. apporte-elle de l'eau. Je paierai la facture." (Close the tab, and bring her some water. I will pay for her bill.) The bartender nodded. The man turned to me again.
"What did you tell him?" I'm not even going to lie. His accent was very sexy.
"Nothing much. C'mon. Let's dance." he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor.
He pulled me close to his body. Very close. His green eyes and hands were all over me. And I let him.
He leaned closer to my ear and said, "So are you going to tell me your name or will I only know as the beautiful foreign girl?"
"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked laughing a bit.
"Everybody in this room thinks you are beautiful," he smiled, "So?"
"y/n," I told him. He repeated my name again, trying to see how my name feels on his lips. "And you?" I asked him.
"Charles" I repeated his name and his smile got wider. Deepening his dimples. "Leclerc"
Somewhere in the room, a phone rang. I was entangled with Charles that I just let it ring. His face is so calm, without worries.
"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie," he murmured. "do you always stare at people when you wake up?"
"Not always," I said. "you're the only exception." He smiled at my comment and opened his eyes.
"Hello"
"Hi," I whispered.
"Was that your phone or mine?" He asked.
"I don't know. If it's important, they'll ring again." As soon as the words left my mouth. The phone rang again. I let out a little whine that made Charles laugh.
"That's your phone, that's not my ringtone." I got out of bed and looked for the phone.
"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie" I mocked him.
"A sight like you should be stared at all the time." I smiled at his comment. I found my phone in between the pile of clothes that was left on the floor. Steph <3 appeared on my screen.
I lay on the bed again with Charles and answered the phone.
"Hey bitch, I've been calling you all morning"
"Sorry" I answered "I just woke up"
"Are you still with the French boy?" Steph asked with a joking tone. I can't remember most of last night. But she knows about Charles and the fact he speaks French.
"I'm Monegasque," He said a bit loud, just for her to hear.
"He says he's Monegasque" I repeated.
"Uhhh, native. I like it. Well, text me when you're on your way back" With that, she hangs up. I looked back at Charles.
"So, another round?"
At first, Steph was excited for me. She was hoping for Charles to be the next thing to occupy my mind instead of my parents.
She wasn't wrong. The Monegasque lived in my mind rent-free for the past month. Especially after I found out I was pregnant.
Two pink lines.
Positive.
"So? What does it say?" Steph asked. I didn't say anything. Tears started to form in my eyes. "Oh god, I need a drink" She disappeared from the bathroom to the kitchen.
Steph made me take a pregnancy test after several different random cravings that I had. She had enough of me after I ate a burger with extra extra pickles, and then more pickles on the side. For context, I hate pickles, with my life.
Fuck.
"y/n... what are you gonna do?" I haven't realized that she came back into the room, a glass of wine in her hand.
"well... what's done it's done. it's my responsibility to take care so it." I answered.
"Yeah! But so it's his! He has to be responsible too!" she yelled.
I let the tears run down my face. "And how?! I don't have his number! It's not like I could just send him a text saying 'Hey! remember when we fucked a month ago? well, I'm pregnant now, congrats! be responsible and take care of it"
Steph stayed quiet for a moment, just staring at me. After a while, she said, "Do you think he is on Instagram? I mean, think about it, almost everyone is on Instagram." she waved her wine at me.
"And if he's not?" my voice broke for a moment. This is all too much for me. I am overwhelmed and drowning in my own feelings.
"We can only hope so." She put her wine on top of the dresser and reached for her back pocket for her phone. "What was his name again?"
"Charles," I said.
"Love, I'm going to need more than that"
"Umm... His last name was a hard one. It was Lec... Lec-something"
For a moment, she looked at me and then back at her phone. "Leclerc?" She asked, doubt very clear in her voice.
"Yes! Leclerc. Why? Did you find him? You should get a job in the FBI" I commented while fidgeting with my hands. I was very nervous.
"Is it him?" She turned her phone towards me. The first thing I see was a black and white picture of Charles sitting on top of a counter with an Alfa Romeo jacket. The date was March 4, 2018. Just a few days before we met.
"Yes," I confirmed, "Wow, you are better than a PI" She slide her finger up a little and I looked at the username. Charles_leclerc with a verified check. "He's verified? Why is he verified?" I felt my heart going eighty miles per hour.
"You fucked and got pregnant by a Formula One driver," Steph said, in a monotone voice.
Oh fuck.
"What do I do now?" I asked her as I made my way to my bed to sit down.
"Well, you know who he is now. You just gotta find a way to find him and tell him." She said as she sat down and wrapped her arms around me.
Yeah. Right. Like that's going to be easy.
May 2018
"When will the phase of puking stops when pregnant?" I asked Steph as I rubbed my small bump.
"You're asking the wrong person. I am not Google" She replied.
"You would be more awesome if you were Google" I joked as I sat at the dinner table.
The aroma of pho and fried dumplings is drugging me right now. Steph is a great chef. So am I, but I hate washing dishes.
I am glad I have Steph to take care of me. Steph has been my best friend for the longest, she's a year older than me, but she treats me and takes care of me as if I'm her daughter. She was there for me when my parents died. She dropped everything and came with me across the world. And now she's taking care of me while being pregnant. I truly don't know what I would do without her.
Steph served me chicken pho and eight delicious fried pork dumplings. I waited for her to sit down.
She glanced at me for a second and then smiled. "You look like a child, waiting for permission to eat."
I laughed. "Well, I'm sorry I waited for you," I said as I grabbed the spoon and put some of the broth in it, and then took it to my mouth. It is so savory. "This is so good" I grabbed the chopsticks and grabbed a dumpling. I blow a bit into it so I don't burn myself. I took a big bite. "Oh my gosh, this is the best dumpling."
"You know what's better than a fried dumpling?" she asked while she wiggled her eyebrows.
"A soup dumpling!" I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I heard a ting! coming from my phone. I thought my phone was in silence. We both laughed a bit at the timing and sound of the phone.
I turned my phone, immediately illuminating from the raise to wake mode. My smile dropped.
+377 123 456 7890
Hey, this is Charles. I'm in Monaco for a few weeks, mon cherie. Do you want to meet? 😉
I slammed my phone back to the table and looked at Steph. "What?" she asked. I looked back at my phone, making sure it wasn't a hallucination in my head. The text message was still there.
With shaken hands, I hand her my phone while I eat the other portion of the dumpling. She looked at the text, then at me. "Oh fuck..."
Oh fuck indeed.
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Ahhhhhh!!!!! This is the first chapter of many more to come! Please let me know what you think of it. I would very much appreciate any type of comment, whether it is your opinion or just anything! It would def motive me more to keep going.
@mac-daddy-210 @infinite-wanders @rbrsavage @itsyogurlkel @bbygrlllllll @nerdreader @imnotcryingyouare1 @killerangel88 @obx-mylove-things-blog @triorion @daniellarogers @insssanemindd @bosinclairsgff
#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imaggine#charles leclerc one shot#f1#formula one#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#f1 x you#formula one x you#f1 x y/n#formula one x y/n#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc angst#nana#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc formula one#cl16 x reader#cl16#ferrari
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Not many people know what amatonormativity is and I think that's a shame because it's a very useful concept to keep in mind
So let's do a crash course
What is amatonormativity?
A term coined by Elisabeth Brake in 2011 in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law, used to explain the societal assumption that all people seek romantic relationships in the form of long term monogamous relationships. Easy, right? No
Nothing in life is so easy, especially not something like an idea taken as absolute truth by most people for as long as we can remember
Let's take it from the top
Amatonormativity intersects with cisnormativity, heteronormativity and patriarchal gender norms. What amatonormativity tells us is that EVERYONE wants and needs a committed heterosexual monogamous romantic relationship that usually ends in children. The American 50's ideal is a good example of that
The reason why the other terms I mentioned are not enough to talk about these issues is that they don't target specifically the nature of relationships under patriarchy. They are obviously talked about (especially in discussions about gender norms) but they are not the focus. There is also the problem that many don't recognize the insistence of love as a measure for one's humanity as a problem at all
We live in a world where love is considered to be the very proof of humanity. This is obviously a problem because there is no universally accepted definition of love outside amatonormativity, which claims that only romantic and familial love exist. There is no acknowledgement of alternative ways to love or of humanity existing apart from this concept
What is love? This is what I want to ask you, and I want everyone to think seriously about this question. Is it the idea of a soulmate, of finding your "other half"? Because then comes the 'why?'. Why should anyone find their 'other half'? Why can't people be whole on their own? Is there any weight to this idea at all?
But wait! Some will say! That's not all there is to love. Love is the affection and care you hold for other people. And that is a fair answer. But now I want to ask you, why should that be the measure for someone's humanity?
This conversation goes in circles. Philosophers have tried to find a way to define humanity since Ancient Greece and probably longer, and I'm not here to attempt to answer this question
But there is another question I can answer: why is it important? Why is amatonormativity and being aware of it important? Several reasons. Not only does it affect the lives of aspecs, polyamorous people, childfree and infertile people by making them feel less human for not participating in it's rituals, it also implicitly supports cisnormativity and heteronormativity
The model proposed by amatonormativity is ripe for exploitation, manipulation and abuse. It cuts off people's support networks by devaluing all other kinds of connections, it keeps people from leaving abusive relationships by eliminating all kinds of alternatives to happiness and fulfillment, it makes people enter relationships they don't want because it makes it seem like there is no other alternative, it blinds people to potential or ongoing abuse because it makes us believe that love can only be good and pure
Amatonormativity is often talked about in aspec and polyamorous spaces, but many others are unaware of its influence, and I think this is a mistake and another example of amatonormativity (blinding people to the flaws and alternatives to the ideal it proposes is another way amatonormativity works). And this is a shame, because the queer and feminist movements (along with all the other progressive movements) can't ever attain their goals without addressing amatonormativity
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hetaween2023 - day4 - found footage
July 3, 2009. Lithuanian Biology graduate Tolys Laurinaitis, age 26 and a passion for wildlife and wolves, was enjoying a night out with his friend in the woods by the Lithuanian-Belarusian border. Equipped with a camping tent, food and a camera, the two friends were hoping to have a close encounter with one of the many gray wolves that populate the area.
Despite being successful in their goal, as the picture above shows, this story is far from getting a happy end.
«I remember the temperature seemed to drop all of a sudden» Feliks Łukasiewicz - Tolys' friend - explained «It got like, so chilly and I placed the camera on the stand so I could turn and grab the blanket.»
And that's when this story takes a dark turn.
«I felt like, so lonely and scared all of a sudden. And then it's like, I fainted, I don't know.» Łukasiewicz wouldn't wake up again until morning, «When I woke up, Tolys was gone. I got into panic and called a friend and somehow he found me and we went to the police.»
Despite investigation, the police couldn't find any clue and had no idea what to do. Initially, they thought of a prank, but both Łukasiewicz and anyone who had been familiar with Laurinaitis never believed in such a possibility.
«I have known Tolys and Feliks since we were kids,» says Eduard Von Bock, «and I know he'd never do something like that, especially to Feliks.»
One month passed before the worst news would find the Laurinaitis. On the morning of August 7, the young man was found dead in the forest, leaning against an oak, no sign of violence found and his body almost intact.
«Unbelievable» says coroner Lukas Bondevik «His body has barely any sign of decomposition, which would lead me to think he survived in the forest up until no more than four-five hours before the finding, but the contents of his stomach do not match this hypothesis and show proper signs of a month-long decay.»
Despite further investigation, police was, once again, out of any clue and could do nothing but wait, letting this case be forgotten in a dusty archive.
... That is, until a few days ago, when Łukasiewicz finally did something he didn't dare do for all these years.
«I never watched the video I took that night. It was like, too painful. The police gave it back to me after investigation, but I just stored it in my closet and tried to forget about it,» the man explains, «But recently, I've been really missing him. I wanted to look at his face again, how happy he was that night, when that wolf finally came to us! We had been waiting for like, so many hours, and Tolys was so happy ...»
What Feliks did not expect to notice, however, was a weird, feminine figure standing in the background, appearing just a few seconds before the video is interrupted.
«I checked all the documents and the police never noticed that detail, or so it seems. I tried to bring it up, but like, no one listened to me, so I decided to share it on Twitter instead.»
Łukasiewicz didn't have to wait long before the post went viral and reached Arthur Kirkland, head of H3T4, an association that investigates paranormal phenomena.
«The figure in the background seems to match the appearance of Natalya Arlovskaya,» says Kirkland, «a young woman who allegedly went missing in those woods 40 years ago.»
According to Kirkland's research, the young woman was thought to have let herself die of starvation in the woods after her forbidden love - her older stepbrother, Ivan Braginsky - left Belarus and moved to the US.
«Her ghost has been haunting those woods for a long time,» Arthur Kirkland explains, «in fact, there have been several reports of young men going missing in that area throughout the years and no case has ever been solved with a clear explanation. For some reason, she seems to only go after young men.»
A good news for the daring ladies wishing to venture around that area, perhaps.
@hetaween-event
#hetalia#aph lithuania#hetaween 2023#hws lithuania#aph belarus#hws belarus#aph poland#aph england#ary makes art#hi I've been constantly looking behind me and startling at the smallest sound while drawing /and/ writing this because I'm a fucking wimp#hope I gave you at least a tiny tiny goosebump that would make me happy and my fear would've been worth it xD
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Neteyam x Reader story
Sooo, I haven't written anything in genuine years. But after watching Avatar:TWOW I've become hyperfixated and have been scrolling and refreshing the Neteyam x Reader tag basically since the movie came out. As a consequence I've had this idea in the back of my mind that I thought was very sweet and cute (something we all need after that movie) so I decided to sit down and give it a go and see what comes out of my brain. So here it is. I haven't properly edited it and it's pretty much a 1000 words of word vomit and a bunch of time skips but it made me happy to write so I'm sharing it.
Oh, BTW SPOILERS!! but also I don't stick to the event's of the movie so idk I'm just putting it out there in case someone hasn't watched the trailer.
So the idea is our girl meets Neteyam informally for the first time when they're 9. She gets cornered in the jungle by a Palulukan and Neteyam helps her run away from it. She had always known who he is being the firstborn son of the Toruk Makto. She remembers her mom telling her about the big ceremony the Tribe had when he was first born. Everyone knew him.
- You shouldn't go into Palulukan territory without being careful - he says, looking a bit unsure about her now that there's no imminent danger.
- I didn't know I was in its territory
- Don't wander off too far on your own then.
___________________________
After this meeting, you get closer and become friends, which means as a consequence you occasionally hang out with the rest of Neteyam's family. However, as he gets older and his Dad starts preparing him to be a warrior and later on Lo'ak as well you don't have as much time to spend as you once did laughing and roaming around in the jungle exploring thick forests and shallow pools of water. It's not like you have nothing to do with your life, you do! You've been thinking of taking up lessons from the Tsahik, to see how you can use the spirit of Eywa and nature to help people who are hurting. It just so happens that the Tsahik is Neteyam's grandmother so you sometimes end up seeing him come back from a mission with his father and you share sweet smiles from across the camp.
When the tribe moves to the floating rocks, you are required by the Tsahik to help those injured from the journey and the ones getting used to the new terrain. So you're even more often in the same circles. As you're working one day about to go over to help Ninat with her sprained ankle, someone taps you on the shoulder
-You seem busy with work. - says Neteyam smiling sweetly at you
-Oh! Yes, I was just about to start. How's your training going?
You hadn't spoken in a while, just a quick wave or nod when crossing paths throughout the day. You hadn't noticed but he towers over you by a couple inches now. He nods towards his dad who's speaking with Neytiri at the edge of their tent.
-You know, just the usual responsibilities of carrying on the legacy. - His eyes gaze into you softly, like he's memorizing your face after not seeing it for long. He shakes it off and looks down - Have you got many tasks today?
-Not too much actually, just need to check up on Ninat and prepare some medicinal salves.
- I want to see you later – He looks back up into your eyes and smiles – Maybe we can go on one of our expeditions like before.
You chuckle – Sure, I'd love that.
With a final nod of approval, he stalks away to his parent's side.
When you meet later towards sunset he's waiting patiently with his Ikran by the vines connecting the Hallelujah Mountains to the Jungle below.
-We won't go too far out into the jungle so we have time to come back before sunrise. - He says as he connects his Queue with the Ikran and gazes at you expectantly – Hop on.
Can I trust that I'll come back alive from this flight? - you raise a skeptical eyebrow. He only went through his Iknimaya ritual not too long ago.
He reaches out a hand to help you up onto the animal – I don't think Eywa would forgive me if I wasted you on a simple flight.
You smile warmly into his shoulder as you hold tight onto him feeling the powerful animal shift under you as you fly out.
Roughly 10 years later
____________________________
When he comes back from the Mitkayina islands. He's taller and broader and his hair is much longer pulled into a loose braid around his Queue. You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first see him. He's magnificent and commanding in his presence. The tribe has gathered all around to accept him and Jake back with a warm welcome. And even though you're hidden by your fellow Na'vi, his eyes immediately find you in the crowd and issue an eager and warm smile on his face.
As soon as he has settled the greetings with the current Olo'eyktan and the Tsahik, he finds you – walking to your sleeping pod. You would have gone to say hello and see him up close but, honestly, you were a bit intimidated. What you now knew was a childhood infatuation with him all those years ago still couldn't handle seeing him all of a sudden in all his... perfect glory. You were a little intimidated. But that doesn't stop him from reaching out for you. You see him jog over with a grin. He grabs you by the shoulders about to pull you into a hug but stops himself at the last moment. His eyes roam you over from head to toe and he looks up with glistening eyes -You've grown! - His tone sounds almost unbelieving
-That tends to happen as time passes, yes – you chuckle, hands coming up to hold onto his arms. His strong arms.
-I'm not too sure what I expected you to look like but you're... way beyond any expectation – He sounds so awe-struck as he's still taking you in, that you start to feel a little embarrassed.
-I can say the exact same thing – You say as you meet his gaze again. As you do his face softens and he brings you into his arms finally.
-I missed you, my friend.
Your hand caresses his hair gently – I missed you too.
You break apart and you decide to go for some late food with him abandoning your plans of sleep.
_______________________
Months later, when they have their first kiss. It's a slow thing. He will say something dry-humoured in his soft voice and she'll forget to laugh too busy staring at him, realizing how in love she is. And has been all these years. And when he notices that she hasn't replied he'll look at her and know immediately. That she's realized, at last. And he'll come to hold her like she's the most precious thing in his world. He'll thread his fingers through her hair bringing her face close to his. Forehead pressed to hers, patiently waiting for her to join him in the reality he has been living. Where they have loved each other for a while, longed and missed unbelievably because of it, and are finally able to bask in it. The warm smiles and looks, the casual closeness that not being apart allows. The things he has been dreaming of. He looks at her lips and back at her eyes, pulling back slightly to give her some space. Maybe she's not entirely understanding his feelings, maybe she's too caught up in her own to recognize his signs, he thinks, ready to give her all the time- When she grabs his neck and drags him back to her. - Neteyam... – her eyes are glossy like she's about to cry. So he caresses her cheeks gently and finally presses their lips sweetly together. And he can not compare it to any other feeling he has ever experienced. It's not like loving her, that's easy and at the same time overwhelming. It has brought him to the point that he is ready to lay down his life and all of his family's expectations to travel back to the tribe just to see her. To be reunited. But this feeling, this kiss is like knowing, that he won't be alone in his love and he can give her his all, his soul. They stay there, lost in the sweetness of being together like never before until the sun has long set and the moon has long risen.
_______________________
That is it! I do realise I keep skipping between tenses, I apologise if anyone finds it annoying and hope you enjoyed!
Edit: I thought it might be useful to put a link to part 2 down here so: Next
#avatar#avatar the way of water#neteyam x reader#avatar 2#reader insert#x reader#female reader#neteyam#jake sully#neteyam x omaticaya!reader
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TWST HEADCANNON
WARNING: Death, suicide, limbo, afterlife.. this might as well be a summary more than a warning.
Has anyone ever thought that Yuu might be.. well, dead? The idea of an afterlife is generally an idea of a transition to another dimension or world. Given that Yuu doesn't seem to remember anything (another semblance to the held belief that when you die you no longer remember/worry/care about your past life) and doesn't seem to have much interest in going back? I mean, wouldn't you be fighting to go back? That is, unless, unconsciously, Yuu knows there is nothing for them to go back to.
Also, given that we're talking about a game geared towards a teen and young adult audience, with a teen character, a school-type setting may be where they're most comfortable. And who doesn't dream of a fantasy world anyway? Perhaps Yuu was even a massive disney fan when alive... The subtle flirts from characters like Malleus and Rook could also be a nod to Yuu's 'favorite' characters, however that has less basis because it would take a lot more away from Yuu being a player-imagined character.
We could even take it a step further and consider Twisted Wonderland to be a limbo. Going off track for a second here, we know that Yana has so many details and hidden clues everywhere in BB. Also given that a lot of the characters look like her BB characters as well, is it possible we have a parallel world to the BB world on our hands? (Unlikely, since it's probably just her art style, but it's worth a mention.) But I digress. Going back to the details portion, we know Yana has a very similar vein of dark fantasy going for both series, and seeing how much lore she places around the idea of death in BB, is it possible she's doing the same thing in twst without us realizing? Perhaps, much like the Grim Reapers of BB are forced to work for their afterlife, maybe Yuu was also a suicide, or some sort of tragedy that would stick them in limbo, in a place they could be comfortable in.
Of course, there are many scenarios to get to this limbo state, as well. We could be encountering science fiction experiments, the matrix like scenes, etc. Basically anything world bending. Even the old Time Loop theory of twst could still fit into Yuu's untimely death. But I don't know. What do you think? Do you think Yuu is alive?
Edit: just realized-- what if ALL the characters are dead? I mean, a black carriage coming to pick them all up on a PERFECTLY accessible island is confusing in itself. However, this would mean that Yuu is still an anomaly, because they don't remember anything compared to the others. But they could have fake memories too. Like, remember when Rook was boasting that he survived in the jungle for a month and was close to death when he was rescued, very timely? What if he... didn't? What if the moment he was 'in his mother's arms' and rescued, was really the moment he crossed over? Or maybe they've all died at some point, and crossed into a fully alternate reality afterwards? And that's twisted wonderland?
Edit 2: Kalim is another example, often talking of how he was attempted to be poisoned and kidnapped numerous times. Perhaps the last one he 'survived' was really the one he didn't.
#twisted wonderland#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst theory#twisted wonderland theory#twst#theories#black butler theories#black butler#kuroshitsuji#twisted wonderland headcannon#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland malleus#malleus draconia#rook hunt#rook hunt headcanons#twst chapter 7
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hi! I hope your day is going well, do you do requests with all the hashira? If so, i would like to request the hashira reacting to tomioka with a gn reader being his tsugoku, they werent even aware of the tsugoku but they find out theyre complete opposites! The reader is nice, talkative, sometimes loud and overall a really bright person to be with, while tomioka is tomioka, they have a good bond tho
Its okay if its not possible or you dislike the idea! No one can force you to do stuff, thanks and take care!
YES!
Let me explore this one but it'll be in an HC form~
Like how they will react after knowing that Giyu has a jolly tsugoku! No hard romance here (but romance-suggestive) and completely SFW~
𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽
𝑻𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝑶𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐬 + 𝐆𝐍 𝐓𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Content Warnings: None-Completely SFW 🌸
(Image is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner)
🌸𝐆𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐢 𝐇𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚🌸
❥ Gyomei isn't the type of man who judges. But he can't hide how astounded he was when he knew that you were Giyu's tsugoku. He even thought you were Tengen's tsugoku at first because of how talkative and confident you are.
❥ Gyomei is very understanding. Nothing has changed since Gyomei knew you were the Water Hashira's tsugoku. He is still nice to you. Even advises you to try to help Giyu come out of his shell.
"You seem to have a good bond with Tomioka-san, even if you're total opposites. I think you should help him cheer up some time."
🌸𝐌𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐨🌸
❥ The boy doesn't care at all. He instantly forgot what you said a while ago.
❥ Whenever you try to talk to him, Muichiro will continue to ignore you. It seems like the boy is very distant. But one time that you managed to hold a conversation with him, apparently he remembered you being Giyu's tsugoku, so he brought it up.
"Uh, you seem to act different compared to the Water Pillar. It's surprising knowing you are his tsugoku. But okay. Why are you here again?"
🌸𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐢 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐢🌸
❥ Mitsuri is very astounded that she went to the point of pinching your cheeks. She looked at you, then at Giyu. She can't believe that you can put up with the Water Hashira's attitude.
❥ But yes, she's very sweet, and nothing changed after she knew your connection to Giyu. Mitsuri still acted friendly to you, even asking you at lunch sometimes to get to know you. Apparently, she's interested in knowing more about water breathing, as she is curious if that is the reason why Giyu acts like that.
"You know, tell me more about yourself and your Water Breathing! I'm so glad you aren't shooing me away. But yes, eat! Try this sakura mochi! I don't usually share, but you're cute, so eat!"
🌸𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮🌸
❥ As he was curious about Giyu, Kyojuro remained friendly with you after knowing you were a tsugoku. Like Mitsuri, he can't believe how you can put up with the silence that Giyu has. And yes, the revelation of Giyu being a bit talkative to you surprised the man as well. You were total opposites!
❥ Kyojuro is just happy to know that you aren't giving up on Giyu. Yes, this man is so pure-hearted. He would often cheer you up whenever he saw you around, while also acknowledging the presence of Tomioka.
"Hi Y/N-san! Hi Tomioka-san! I hope your day is great! If you are free some time, you can drop by the Rengoku estate and train with me! We can have a delicious lunch afterwards too! My treat!"
🌸𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚🌸
❥ Giyu is unconcerned by the sudden attention you received after the Hashiras learned that you were his tsugoku.
❥ Oh well, the Water Hashira remained calm after all that fuzz. But yes, he still avoided everyone (except you) like the plague. You are close, but that doesn't mean that he will be close with the others too.
❥ Despite the attention that others seek from you because of your jolliness, you still made sure to spend time with Giyu. Practices? That's just one of the many things you try together! Apparently, Giyu is adventurous around you! But yeah, he's still insecure.
"I don't know how you can put up with me. But thank you. I appreciate this."
🌸𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐮 𝐊𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐨🌸
❥ Shinobu was horrified when she knew you were Giyu's tsugoku! She just can't believe a person so bright and jolly like you would be around someone like him. She would often try to convince you to train with her instead or explore other Hashiras Breathing styles, as you and Giyu seem to be incompatible. The girl is just so concerned.
❥ But yes, she's obsessed with you. Her behavior toward Giyu occasionally creeps you out, but maybe that's because she also seems to secretly like him. When you're with Shinobu, she always asks about the Water Hashira, aside from convincing you to be a part of the Butterfly Mansion.
"No one likes Tomioka-san. I don't know how you can do this with him! But if ever you change your mind, I will welcome you. But, hmm, what are Giyu's dirty secrets? Does he snore? I want to tease him!"
🌸𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐢🌸
❥ Tengen finds it unflashy that you were Giyu's tsugoku. He doesn't have anything bad against Water Breathing but he just finds the Water Hashira so gloomy, which is definitely not you!
❥ Like Shinobu, Tengen is obsessed with you. The man finds you flamboyant, and he wants to take you in as his tsugoku instead. He even says his wife would love to have her! (Not as a wife, but as a part of their estate—as their baby XD)
"My wives would love you! Why don't you just join me? Be my tsugoku! Tomioka-san is just too gloomy!"
🌸𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚🌸
❥ Sanemi was also horrified. More horrified than Shinobu. He wasn't expecting you to be Giyu's tsugoku at all. For him, you were just like the sunlight, and Giyu was just like trash. (Apparently the lad adores you secretly)
❥ Sanemi would act less harsh with you, but he will still curse you whenever you act "like an idiot," especially when you're with Mitsuri. But yeah, the Wind Hashira also asked you to be his tsugoku, which you always politely declined.
"Your loss, though. That fucker doesn't deserve a talented tsugoku like you. But if you ever change your mind, don't go to Tengen or Shinobu... Those two are dimwits. Be my tsugoku instead."
🌸𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 𝐈𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨🌸
❥ Mitsuri likes you as her friend, so Obanai isn't rude to you, even if he knew that you are Giyu's tsugoku. He is horrified, yes. But he isn't the type of guy who would hate you for that.
❥ But sometimes he mocks you for choosing Giyu over Sanemi, especially whenever he sees the Wind Hashira dismayed by your continuous rejections. Of course, Sanemi's his friend, so he'll side with him. But yeah. You don't talk with each other that much unless Mitsuri makes him talk to you. And yes, Obanai would just talk about Kaburamaru.
"You know, you're wasting your life as Tomioka's tsugoku. Just go with Sanemi. He can help you better."
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉!
So sorry if this request took me too long to write hahahahahaha!
But anon, if you are still here, thank you for the request~
Feel free to request, reblog, or comment!
Ja ne~
~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸
#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#demon slayer imagines#kimetsu no yaiba#sanemi x reader#sanemi shinazugawa#giyuu tomioka#shinobu kocho#gyomei himejima#tengen uzui#obanai iguro#mitsuri kanroji#kyojuro rengoku#muichiro tokito#hashira#demon slayer headcanons#hashira headcanons#tsugoku!reader
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Take a hint
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!BAU!Reader
Summary: husband!Hotch making sure he shows his ring while being hit on (requested by my babe @jayxox)
Word count: 690
A/N: I have so many headcanon and blurb requests which I'm so happy to finally be able to get around to answering!! I wanted to start with this one because I'm OBSESSED with this idea.
"Ugh! Look at her..." you huffed as you looked across the police station to where your husband was filling in the lead detective of the case. "She is practically drooling over him."
Emily's eyes followed your eye line to where you were looking and began to laugh.
"It's not funny Em! we've been here for 4 days and she's spent more time with Aaron than I have in our whole marriage!" you exclaimed.
"I think that's a bit of an overreaction Mrs H." Derek laughed from his place at the evidence board with Reid.
"Look! She can't keep her hands off of him!" you said exasperatedly. "Can't she see he's wearing a wedding ring? Not to mention we've walked in together everyday since we've been here."
"Y/N, I wouldn't worry." Emily chuckled. "Hotch isn't going to drop 2 years of marriage away for some detective he's known for 5 minutes."
"I know that! I just can't stand to see someone hitting on him. He's my husband." you frowned which caused the whole team to laugh.
_____
"Honey?" Aaron's voice came from beside you in the tiny bed you were sharing in the hotel. "Have I done something to upset you? You seem.... mad at me."
The worry in his voice caused instant guilt to settle in your stomach. You weren't annoyed at him, you hated that he thought he had done something. You were just fed up with seeing Detective Cassey flirting with him all day.
You sat up in the bed and looked at him. "No baby... I'm not mad at you..." you paused.
"I feel a but coming..." Aaron replied.
"It's just... Detective Cassey." you pout.
"What about Detective Cassey?" Aaron asked with a confused tone.
"You can't tell me you haven't noticed she's been all over you since we got to Boston!" You say. "You're meant to be the world's best profiler!"
"Honey... are you jealous?" Aaron asked, an amused look on his face.
"This isn't funny! Don't act like you don't get jealous. Remember that police officer in California? You practically had steam blowing from your ears if he even so much as walked past me!"
"Y/N... you're my wife. A detective on a case casually flirting with me is nothing to worry about. I love you and nothing is going to change that." he smiled before placing a soft kiss on your temple.
_____
Two days later, there was a breakthrough and the case was wrapped up - the killer had been arrested and put behind bars. Aaron was relieved the case was over, he just wanted the two of you to get home and see Jack.
"Agent Hotchner!" called a voice from behind him, he quickly finished his discussion with Dave before turning to face Detective Cassey.
"Thank you again for coming to help us out! It really is appreciated." she smiled brightly, leaning a hand out to lay on his arm.
Aaron began twisting the wedding ring on his finger in the hope she noticed it and took the hint but Detective Cassey just kept her eyes on his face.
"Agent... Aaron, can I call you that?" before Hotch could respond, she carried on. "If you ever found yourself back in Boston or maybe if I am ever in DC, would you want to meet up?" She asked boldy.
Aaron paused before reaching his hand up to run his finger through his hair - this time, Detective Cassey finally noticed the bold silver band that sat snuggly on his ring finger. Her face dropped as she knew she had been given an answer without Aaron even muttering a word.
"Er... yes. Perhaps my wife and I, Agent L/N, could stop for a chat if we ever cross paths again." Aaron replied, ensuring he put emphasis on the 'wife' part.
Detective Cassey stammered. "Um... Er, yes. thank you again." she quickly shook Aaron's hand before walking off to her office.
From that moment on, Aaron made it very clear he was married, the silver wedding band always being on show for people to see and take the hint.
#aaron hotchner fic#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch#aaron hotch x you#aaron hotchner x bau!reader#criminal minds#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotch fluff#aaron hotch imagine
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We bleed tonight
Next chapter
a/n Had an idea and well... tadaa. It's been a hot minute since I wrote for our shadow boy so go easy on me. Don't ask me what this is cause I myself have no clue.
Summary: Love all of the sudden becomes too good to be true and two lovers find themselves being torn apart.
warnings: I want to say nothing? Dunking someone's head under the water? Fighting?
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Truth be told, everyone was talking about how the night court's sky got just a tad lighter once you stepped into Azriel's life. It was a miracle in Azriel's eyes. It was exactly what he deserved in yours. He was worth it all. Worth of love. Care. Tender touch. Deprived of it for way too long. And the fact that you got to be the one to show him love was an honor. Something you cherished so dearly. Slowly but surely introducing him to the power of touch. A loving power of touch. A touch that was still so unfamiliar to him.
After initial joy came fear. Azriel suddenly realized how much danger you were going to be in. How many of his and Night Court's enemies would want to harm you. Harm him. Harm him because now they know how to. The fact that for so long Azriel had nothing that could hurt him was both a gift and a curse. He craved to have someone. Yet in the depths of the night, when he felt the most lonely and thoughts about his brothers sharing beds with their mates lingered, in a way Azriel was thankful that he had no one. Because he didn't need to worry. To be scared of waking up in a pool of blood next to the one he loved.
But now Azriel had you. His everything. He never knew how powerful it was to see someone smiling because of you, because of something you had said or done. To be greeted with a warm embrace. To be looked up to with so much admiration Azriel still remembered when he overheard a conversation you were having with Nesta and Feyre. "He's just… perfect", you had said. "He stayed up all night fetching me anything and everything. He could have just slept, but no…" You had fallen ill, puking the night away as the fever hit you. You tried unsuccessfully to push your boyfriend away, but he didn't budge.
Your back was pressed to Azriel's chest. His hands were wrapped around your torso, tenderly holding you close to him. His scared palms lay directly on the soft skin of your lower belly. You stirred slightly. Even if Azriel never forgot to close the blinds, the room still looked way too bright for it to just be morning. Your body felt disgusting. The lingering smell of sickness still didn't seem to have gone away. You turned ever so slightly, frowning at the sight of Azriel still in bed.
"You're still here", you muttered tiredly, and Azriel's eyes instantly shot open. "You want me out?", the spymaster questioned lazily as his eyes closed once again. You nuzzled into his chest, and Azriel was quick to wrap a protective arm around you. "Didn't you have a meeting?", your voice rang out in the morning silence. The male hummed, "I did". You knew how much Azriel valued work. That was what he had known to be his top priority for years. You started to wonder that he probably just slipped out quietly and came back to bed once he was done. But then you were such a light sleeper…
"I haven't left the bed yet", your boyfriend said, as if he could read your mind. You tilted your head up so you could see his face better. "I just wanted to hold you", Azriel admitted, "Especially after everything." His words trailed off. You instantly felt embarrassed, "Sorry for it all, and…" But Azriel only cupped your face, "None of that. Are you feeling at least a bit better?", you nodded your head, but it didn't satisfy Azriel's worries. "We'll get you to the healer today". You rolled your eyes slightly, "That's not necessary", "You can walk or I will carry you there. Your choice", Azriel said firmly, making you chuckle.
Now those moments felt so distant. Like a feverish dream. And maybe they were right. That the honeymoon phase eventually ends. Pink glasses shatter, and you are harshly disappointed by the reality. You had no clue what had gone wrong. You two had been together for over a year by then. You had met his family. You had become family. Or that's what you had hoped for…
You knew Azriel was rather a closed-off person, and even his brother didn't stop the teasing of "I'm still blown away that Azriel got a girlfriend" and a bit of "I can't imagine this bruit communicating? Does he talk to you or just stare?". You laughed with them then. Yet always made sure to ensure everyone that your man was perfect and that it was their loss for not getting to know Azriel in that way.
But as they say, all lies are usually half-truths. You thought you were understanding. You never pushed Azriel. You weren't blind; you could tell that the physical closeness and tenderness of the touch frightened him at times. Every time his muscles tensed under your touch, you felt your heart break, but you always told him that it was okay. That he was free to set the pace There was no rush. And you generally thought that you had made some progress. Azriel would come up to hold you on his own. You two slept tangled together.
And then it all stopped. You were having breakfast at the river house. The place was lively, especially with Cassian and Nyx singing by the river while everyone was slowly gathering on the huge patio outside. You smiled to yourself as you placed different pastries on the plate. "Sometimes I wonder if Rhys was as wild or if Cassian's gynes somehow converted into Nyx", Feyre shook her head, looking at the two crackheads trying to stand on their hands. "I think it's just Cass rubbing off on him. The general rarely lets the boy out of his arms", it was a dream to see them all like this. To see so much love and so much care for one another. You never thought you would get to feel like you belonged again. That your presence mattered, you not only got yourself a boyfriend but also a whole bunch of amazing friends.
Setting the tray on the table, you sat down next to Azriel. You wanted to rest on his side slightly, but the moment you started to lean closer, the spymaster moved to the side. You didn't think much of it considering that he had reached for a jar with jam, so he probably just didn't notice you. But then you moved your hand closer to Azriel's, wanting to intertwine your fingers with his. The moment your skin touched his, Azriel jerked his hand back. An embarrassed shiver ran down your back. You hoped that no one saw it as you plastered a smile on your face, trying to swallow the lump that made it hard to breathe and offered a piece of your baked good to Nyx. As a distraction.
Yet those two moments played in your mind through the whole breakfast. Had you forgotten something? Said something to upset him? But everything was fine. Sure, Azriel seemed slightly off this morning, but then again, he returned home so late. The meeting must not have gone very smoothly, then. However, you had no clue where he went or what the meeting was about, meaning that you couldn't calculate the seriousness of it all. You rubbed your hands together under the table as the worrying thoughts grew louder and louder.
"Will you come to my birthday party?", Nyx caught your attention as he pulled on your dress sleeve gently. Your eyes softened as you looked down at him. "Of course, how could I miss it", you said, pushing a strand of his messy black hair as you smiled at him. Nyx scrambled to climb onto your lap, and when he was at a pleasant distance from Azriel, his tiny fingers poked at the spymaster's arm, "And you, uncle Azzy?" Azriel turned toward you for the first time that morning, but his eyes never truly looked your way. "I already promised you that I would", "And you will sit with aunty Y/N, right?"
Your body tensed, and part of you wanted to just laugh it off. He was so young still that he didn't understand many of the emotions. He wasn't meant to do it yet. "We'll see, bud", Azriel ruffled Nyx's hair before turning back to join the conversation with Cassian. You bit the inside of your cheek as the tears suddenly threatened to roll down your cheeks. But then you remembered the boy who sat on your lap with a puzzled look. In his tiny world, his uncles always sat with his aunties. You ran your finger over Nyx's slightly scrunched-up brows, "You know why we might not sit together?", you questioned the boy, and he shook his head, "Because I will come to sit with you so I could steal your cake". You let out a fake, evil laugh as your fingers moved to tickle his tummy. The lighthearted giggle filled the patio once again as Nyx wiggled happily in your embrace.
You and Azriel were the first ones to leave. In all honesty, Azriel just got up and announced that he was going home. You let out a huff of annoyance. Feyre threw you a worried look, but you just shook your head, placing the napkin on the table as you followed suit. This was ridiculous. Azriel wasn't the one to cause scenes. So whatever had him this riled up had to be serious. "Do you want to talk?", you called after him, aware that the rest of the family could still most definitely hear you.
"Do YOU want to talk?", Azriel asked you the same question, emphasizing your part dramatically. You picked up your pace, moving to reach for his hand in hopes of making him stop or at least look at you. "Seriously, Azriel, what the hell is wrong", you pleaded. If you had done something wrong, you were willing to apologize, but you had no clue what was wrong. "Why would there be something wrong?", he asked. "Because you're acting like an absolute ass", You crossed your arms over your chest when he finally stopped in his tracks. "Maybe you just have a bone to pick with me", Azriel said coldly, and you couldn't help but laugh a little, "Right blame it on me". You stormed past your boyfriend, ignoring the hand that he had reached out towards you so he could winnow you both home. Not to mention that it was ridiculous that he even thought that you would accept it. You heard him growl in frustration. Brood all you want, you thought to yourself as you walked toward the center of Velaris.
You walked through streets for hours. The sun was starting to go down at that point. You just couldn't seem to bring yourself home. A part of you didn't want to face it. You were too afraid that Azriel was going to leave you the moment you returned. Truth be told, he wasn't your first. And the males in the past had been nothing but bastards. And you were nothing but a rag doll to them. You were just as scared of this relationship, if not more. But you never showed it. Never said anything. Instead, you found strength in assisting Azriel, and you began to wonder if you had told him everything, would he have acted differently? Yet you both had deep scars. Some of them still bled. You knew that there were things that Azriel still hadn't shared with you, so you reassured yourself that keeping all of your past to yourself was only fair.
You stood in front of your shared apartment door till your hands had nearly turned to ice. Burning holes at the door. Your body screamed at you to not go inside. You knew you couldn't face him. You didn't want to let the dream that was slowly fading away fully vanish. It was all too short. You've got to love Azriel for way too short. But the apartment was empty once you stepped inside. There was no trace of Azriel even being here after you two left in the morning. Somehow, this made your stomach sink even more. Had he just left? Went to someone else? Had he been going to someone else? You stood in the darkness for some time. Secretly hoping that in the midst of it all, you would feel the cold breeze of Azriel's shadows.
"You're spying on me, aren't you?", the voice came out of nowhere, making you shiver. You felt Azriel before you could even make out his frame in the dark. "What the hell are you talking about?", you muttered into the nothingness, hating how weak your voice sounded. "You're scared", Azriel's voice hit your senses from a completely different part of the room, making you quickly turn your head to the side. Of course, your heart was beating like crazy. You had no clue what was happening.
"Azriel quit this nonsense", "He sent you here, didn't he?", your body ran cold. No, there was no way. You… Azriel—even if he were to meet the male, there would have been no reason for them to talk about you.
"I brought you into my family. I gave you a home, and you do this", he said, pulling his shadows away, letting the flame in the fireplace ignite once again, allowing you a glimpse into your lover's eyes. Cold eyes. Eyes that you had never seen before. "I don't know what you are talking about", you muttered. "Lier", Azriel hissed. You tried not to tremble, but with the way, the spymaster was gawking at you… A long death felt more painless than this. "I'm not a spy", you croaked out once again. Azriel only shook his head, moving to firmly wrap his arm around your forearm as he moved to pull you across the apartment. "What are you doing? Azriel… You're scaring me", you said, pushing against his hold. You tried to hold onto the doorframe, but it was for nothing. His shadows bound themselves around your wrists and ankles, restricting any form of movement, as the spymaster shoved you to your knees in front of the bathtub.
You shot him a puzzled look, but Azriel didn't care for your scared eyes. As he took a fistful of your hair, "We'll take a little bath, see what's underneath this mask. Shall we?". You didn't have time to respond as your face hit the icy water. The fear in your body mixed with the sensation of drowning made everything stop for a second as the sick feeling in your stomach started to burn.
You're nothing. You're my subject. I'll make a woman out of you. I don't breed out weak links in this bloodline.
Your brain burned as the roar of that painfully familiar voice pierced your senses. You struggled against Azirel's grip as the lack of oxygen slowly burned your lungs. Always too weak. Always to blame. When you were finally pulled back up, you genuinely hoped Azriel would have kept you under just a bit longer. The brownish tint was running down your shoulders, revealing the true color of your hair. Azriel chuckled bitterly, "All this time. Right under my nose, and I didn't realize it". You kept staring at the man you no longer recognized as you coughed up the water from your lungs. "Please, I swear on everything…", "As if there's anything holy for you", Azriel barked out, shoving you to the side.
Your knees graze the cold tiles. "Summon", the spymaster strictly ordered, "No, please. I don't have anything to do with any of this. Azriel, you know I love you", you cried out. But you could tell that the steel walls had been built back up. This was the man the whole world feared. This was the spymaster of the night court. The darkness. The coldness itself. "Summon or I will drag it out of you myself", he roared, making more tears slip down your cheeks. With a quiet sob, you closed your eyes, moving your palms in front of you. You hadn't done it in over a year. Ever since you fled to Velaris. It seemed almost foreign. Like you no longer knew how. You felt it before you saw it. The crackling picked up right as your palms burst into flames. Your cries only got louder at the sight of the blazing lights that filled the dim bathroom.
Azriel dunked your hands into the water before his iron grip was back on your skin as the darkness swirled around you. You knew the sensation of winnowing. It had become familiar to you over the past year with Azriel.
But where to? Was he going to dump you by the border? Into the river to drown? All of those scenarios would have been a blessing compared to the dungeon bars that surrounded you once you opened your eyes. Your wet clothes stuck to your body, and the cold air in the cell made your whole body tremble twice as badly. Azriel moved like a robot as he shackled you to the floor. The metal biting your skin, no doubt leaving bruises. Another sob slipped out of you, but you didn't fight his actions. "Quit the fake sob; it won't buy you anything", Azriel snarled right as the wooden door burst open.
"Have you lost your mind?", Cassian's voice made your knees shake as your hopeless eyes met his in a silent plea. But his attempt to reach you was blocked by Azriel's wings and a low growl. "She's autumn's rat and now is my to interrogate", "Azriel, this is…She hasn't done anything", Rhys said calmly. Tried to reason with his brother, but Azriel didn't buck, pulling at the chains harder and once again sending you to the ground. You let out yet another shriek of pain. Azriel moved out of the cell, locking the doors as he went. You reached for the front bars, gripping them with your trembling hands. "No, no, please. Rhys, I swear I didn't", you watched the high lord, who was still trying to process what was happening, "You are in no position to speak to my high lord", Azriel said bitterly before turning to his two male companions, who still watched it all in confusion.
"You let her out, and I swear… She doesn't leave this cell until I say so". With a warning growl, Azriel stormed out of the dungeon, Rhys following suit. It was Cassian who had lingered. Who held eye contact with you. "Please", you muttered for what felt like a thousand times that night. You could tell that Cassian wanted to say something, but you also knew how many obligations bound him. So when he too turned away from you, you didn't feel surprised. Resting your throbbing head on the cold metal bars, the tears continued to roll down your cheeks. Truly letting the fear of your life falling to pieces lace your body. Hating yourself for being so naive. Hating yourself for letting your silly heart believe that this fairytale was possible in the first place. The ones like you did not have the luxury of love.
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All acotar writing: @brekkershadowsinger @baebeepeach @lucyysthings @hideing @urfavbrunettebish @historygeekqueen @marina468 @courtofjurdan
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