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deadsetobsessions · 3 months

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AU of Gotham! Tim Drake! Danny where he doesn’t know the universe he was reincarnated into.

“Robin!” Batman barked. Tim sighed, loudly. Batman twitched.

“What is it, B?”

“Drills. Again.”

Tim rolled his eyes but moved to obey. Speaking to B these days was like speaking to a rather boorish caveman. Simple grunts and single word sentences. It didn't use to be like this but B was loosing his grip on his humanity and it’s Tim’s job to bring it back.

It’s hilarious because he’s the least human of them all. It was odd, juggling his duties as Danny Gotham, his responsibilities as Tim, and his workload as Bruce’s shiny new Robin. Somehow he made it work.

Yeah, sometimes B’s hands are heavy when they’re training. Sometimes he forgets Danny’s name (or at least his human name) and calls for Jason instead. Sometimes, he smells more like booze and less like Bruce.

Danny could handle it. Even if his core quivers with grief. He wished he didn’t have to, but he could and will handle whatever he needs to for his Knight to regain himself. But fuck, that doesn’t mean taking his self destructive habits lying down. He might be Tim right now, but as far as Batman knew, Tim was here on the orders of

“B.”

“Hm.”

Oh, a neutral grunt! I see we’ve upgraded to grunts instead of arm flapping! Holy detective, Batman! Aren’t I glad I learned to speak cave man? Wow! Tim mocked, in his head.

“You’re heading to bed when I’m done with this set,” Tim said.

“This case isn’t done,” Batman growled. Ancients, it was like speaking to a large chihuahua-toddler hybrid. All the barking, all the growling, and all the petulance of a child makes the entirety of how his Knight acted on a good day these days.

“That wasn’t a suggestion,” Tim shot back, sore arms and legs and everything working through the set. Thank the ancients for his healing, or else Tim might actually be dying.

“You don’t give me orders, Robin.”

“No, but Gotham does.” He would know, considering Tim was Gotham.

The head full of greasy- ew, take a shower, B!- hair swiveled towards him.

“You have a direct line to Gotham?”

Tim settled into the final forms of the night. “Gotham sent me. I thought we went over this.”

A beat of silence.

Batman returned to clacking away at the computer. Tim finished his set in relative peace. He moved to the cool down stretches while Batman sulked in front of his computer like a five year old.

“I’m done.” He said, crossing his arms.

“Hm.”

“That means you’re done, too.”

“I’m not tired.”

Tim rolled his eyes so hard, he thinks he saw the light. Oh, wait, that’s just Bruce’s last brain cell dying.

“You’re heading to bed. Good luck finding actual crime tomorrow, if you stay up.”

Batman stilled, because he knows Gotham would back Tim up on the threat. Considering the time sensitivity of some of these cases, Gotham’s anger is not something he could risk.

Tim patted himself on the back for effectively playing the good cop and the bad cop on his own. Except ACAB for life because they’re vigilantes and the GCPD as a whole (with exceptions) sucks ass.

He watched as Batman- as Bruce- reluctantly powered down the Bat-Computer. As he stood up, Tim wrinkled his nose.

“Never mind. You take a shower first. I’ll text Alfred.”

“Not necessary.”

“Okay, then you can explain to Gotham why you’re traipsing through his city looking a starved rat and smelling like you took a joy ride in Killer Croc’s excrement. Oh, wait.” Tim snapped, just about done being patient today. Tim whipped out his phone, texting Alfred with one hand and pointing towards the staircase with the other.

“Shower above ground, you weird little mole rat. No cave water for you.”

Bruce makes a weird offended grunt.

“I literally don’t care if you have to walk up to your room to shower in your boxers, B. Most of Gotham’s people don’t have access to a shower, let alone a million dollar bathroom. Fucking use your actual bathroom instead of hosing off.”

And with that, Batman and Bruce Wayne moved to the tune of a pre-teen, who was also, unknowingly to him, the spirit of his City.

——

“Go home.”

Tim smiled sweetly. Bruce paled. The scary, Gotham loved child patted Bruce’s hand as he sat beside Bruce’s bed.

“Sleep, before I make you.”

Bruce slammed his eyelids shut, anything to not look at Tim’s malicious looking eyes, and allowed himself- nay, forced himself- to rest for the first time in weeks since Jason died.

As Bruce’s dumb self drifted off to dreamland, Tim muttered, “Wuss.”

He settled himself into the chair, napping lightly to make sure Bruce doesn’t sneak out to work when he’s gone.

Alfred snapped a quick picture.

#Tim Drake #Tim Drake as Robin #dc x dp #batman #danny phantom #danny phantom is tim drake #danny phantom is a little shit #sassy danny #Bruce Wayne #bruce wayne getting bullied into self care #depressed Bruce Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #Gotham!Danny #danny is a menace #the cave has a shower #Bruce is using the hosing down station #like the ones in labs #for safety? but Bruce is using it because it’s a quick rinse

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supermxnthathoe · 4 months

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Sometimes I'm just sitting there happily and then I remember that DC killed Alfred off in the main continuity.

I keep waiting for a 'syke he's alive' moment -WHICH WE DID GET IN BATMAN versus ROBIN- but it turned out it was just a demon cosplaying Alfred to trick Batman for Damian's hot great granny.

DC keeps wounding me and then refusing to give me bandages.

Not only was the way he died absolutely tragic BUT THE SHIT BRUCE SAYS TO DAMIAN AFTERWARDS.

It wasn't cute. It wasn't funny. DC needs to take it back rn because my feelings can't handle this.

(if you're curious about when Alfred dies; it's Batman #77-- I'm not sure when it is that the demon pretends to be him but it's sometime in Batman Vs Robin.

Damian also briefly hallucinates Alfred in his solo Robin run, which is Robin Vol 5 which happens almost directly after the events of Batman #77 and that whole debacle and follows the Lazarus Tournament storyline- READ IT, IT's SO GOOD)

#dc comics #batfamily #damian wayne #batkids #batman #alfred pennyworth #BRING BACK ALFRED #I WANT MY SASSY BUTLER BACK #IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT HIM

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harmleikurdraws · 2 years

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I don’t think Alfred’s sassy remarks need any context, so I’m just gonna leave it there.

Batman and Robin (2011)

#batman and robin #alfred pennyworth #is superior being #bruce wayne #dc universe #batman #damian wayne #robin #gotham #comic #matches malone #erin mckillen #sassy aflred

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awhitehead17 · 1 year

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Faces of the past

Batfam, De-aged Jason, Sibling relationships, Humour, Light Angst, Guilty Dick and Bruce, Sassy Jason.

Summary: The thing that seems to bother Jason the most about the situation is the family members he no longer recognises, he doesn't seem at all concerned by the fact he's been unexplainably reverted back into a teenager with no memory of his adult self. Dick and Bruce, on the other hand, are unprepared for the onslaught of thoughts and emotions of seeing Jason the age he had been when he died.

A/N: This has been done for day four of Batfam Week 2023, the prompt is de-aging. @batfamilyweek

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D

“We’re going to be late, Jason! Let’s go. What are you doing?” Dick shouts as he thumps his fist against the bedroom door in front of him. He huffs when no response comes and smacks the door again impatiently. “Jason. No matter how old you are Alfred will have your hide.”

This time he could hear shuffling going on inside the room. Dick rolls his eyes, it’s about time, they were supposed to leave the manor ten minutes ago. When Jason didn’t turn up in the foyer at the arranged meeting time Dick got sent up to fetch him, apparently that also meant waking him up.

A few moments pass by and when his brother doesn’t make an appearance Dick raises his fist to knock again but that’s when the door swings open revealing something that had Dick freezing in place and staring.

“What do you want Dickhead? Why are you waking me up at crack ass dawn, I only got back from patrol less than four hours ago.”

Dick blinks. He blinks again and then rubs his eyes when the sight in front of him doesn't change. In front of him stands a gangly teenager, a little too thin but who is slowly growing into his limbs, messy unkept hair, boyish features, higher than usual voice and who is short, the top of his head only reaching Dick’s sternum.

Blinking, Dick opens his mouth however he immediately closes realising he doesn't know what he's going to say. Ignoring the way the kid is glaring at him, with eyes that are all too familiar, Dick presses his way past the kid and into the room. Glancing around the otherwise empty room Dick frowns at the kid, finding him being to be the only person inside.

“Dick this isn’t funny. It’s Saturday. I deserve my lie in. Surely Bruce hasn’t set you up to this.”

Dick has no idea how to respond to that. Everything about the situation is wrong. The last time he saw Jason which happened to be hours ago, he was a six foot grumpy man, not this teenager version of himself. Dick stares at him as realisation strikes him, this Jason is young, he’s the age he was when he… when he died.

A shove from Jason, breaks him out of his thoughts. He stumbles to the side and stares at him as the teenager continues to grumble about being woken up on a Saturday for no apparent reason.

Dick holds up a hand, still unable to form words, and shakes it before deciding to step out of the room. Silently he closes the door and leans against it, trying to get his brain to function. What the fuck? How the hell has Jason reverted back into a teenager? If it’s even Jason, this could be someone else…

“Dick what is taking so long? Bruce is starting to get pissy. Not mention how Alfred’s disapproving frown is starting to make an appearance.”

Tim’s voice echoes down the hallway and Dick turns to him, watching him stride down the corridor to where he’s leaning against the door. At least Tim looks and appears normal. He doesn't know if that’s better or worse, perhaps Dick is dreaming and making up teenage Jason in his head…

When Tim reaches him, his little brother is sending him a judgemental look. Still unable to create words Dick simply moves to the side and gestures at the door. Tim can see for himself. Tim sends him a deadpan look, clearly not impressed, but he opens the door without question and peers inside. Dick knows the moment he spots Jason because his body completely stills.

Jason’s higher pitched voice filters through the opening of the door. “Who are you and what do you want? Is Dick still there?”

“Sorry,” Tim says evenly, “don’t worry about me. We’ll leave you be now…”

Tim slowly shuts the door and turns to Dick wearing a confused frown on his face. Dick puts his hands up placatingly, unable to answer the unspoken questions.

After a moment Tim clears his throat awkwardly. “We should probably tell Bruce to cancel today.”

===========

“So you’re telling me Bruce has a problem in collecting strays? Most people collect stamps, Bruce apparently collects children.”

Jason’s comment is said with a bluntness only a teenager could achieve, he’s sitting at the kitchen island on a stool and is swinging his legs as he rips up a piece of bread and eats it bit by bit. He's looking around the kitchen observing with interest before his gaze moves onto each person separately in the room with him. Which is basically the whole family, minus Damian.

After discovering teenage Jason, Dick and Tim called up Bruce with an emergency and it didn’t take long for Bruce to see what the situation is. After that it was a headache lasting several hours as they tell teenage Jason the truth, some of it, in how he’s somehow been de-aged and how he’s currently in the future where the family has expanded and not everything is the same.

That’s when Alfred approached and offered to fix up breakfast for everyone in the kitchen, Jason included. They were originally going out for food so this worked in everyone’s favour. Serious matters always seemed to be to be discussed over food.

Despite being disoriented with the situation Jason easily agrees and together they head to the kitchen. As Jason settles at the island, Dick saw the moment the older men realised what age Jason currently appears to be, he could see the devastation cross both Bruce and Alfred’s faces, if the others pick up on it they may understand but they wouldn’t be able to relate.

While they caught Jason up and also introducing him to Cass, Tim, Duke, Steph, and Damian when he made a brief appearance before deeming it not an important enough situation for his presence, everyone seemed to have made the same silent and mutual agreement in not mentioning Jason’s death. That’s for the best of course.

Jason waves around a piece of bread before shoving it in his mouth. “I don’t know whether to be insulted or proud there are robins after me. Was that a choice or forced? I’m surprised you allowed it Dick after what we went through.”

On the opposite side of the island Tim flinches at the comment which goes unnoticed by Jason. Tim covers it up well with the action of taking a sip of coffee from his mug but it doesn't go unnoticed by the rest of the family. Dick runs a hand over his face, all those memories, thoughts and feelings from that time are coming to the forefront of his mind.

Admittedly he hadn’t taken to Jason when Bruce brought him home. He knows and regrets how badly he had treated Jason back then but he had been an angry teenager, mostly angry at Bruce and Jason took the brunt of it. It’s one of the reason why he tried hard with Tim when it became clear the kid wasn't going away any time soon.

“Look I’m sorry, even now I still feel guilty about how I treated you.”

Jason snorts and send him a disbelieving look. He then looks over at Tim, “Did he at least treat you any better when Bruce brought you home?”

At being directly spoken to Tim looks like a deer caught in headlights. His mouth opens and closes for several long minutes before he finally comes up with an answer. “He wasn't accepting at first, just like you, but he soon warmed up.”

Somewhat the truth. They have to be careful with what they’re telling teenage Jason, especially regarding Tim’s involvement. The whole reason why Tim even became part of the family is because Jason died, as morbid as that reason may be. They’re going to need to tell Jason some white lies surrounding Tim and his background.

Jason hums and his attention moves onto the others. He munches away as he asks them questions that focus more on Gotham instead of everyone’s backgrounds. He asks what villains are still about, what their relationship with the police is like, how patrols work compared to back then and surely the technology must be better right.

The questions last for a long while and the entire time Dick watches as Bruce stares at Jason bewildered, his pseudo father clearly getting caught up in past memories of when Jason was originally this age before everything changed. The same energetic vibe teenage Jason is giving off, that young innocence he still somehow kept even after living on the streets for as long as he had. This was the kid who was cocky enough to attempt to steal the tires from the batmobile, who almost got away with it too...

Jason’s next enquiring question brings everything back to reality. “So since I’m a teenager out of time, how do I … not be? What do we do?”

“We’ll be looking into it, since nothing out of the ordinary happened to you, adult you yesterday, we’ll need to try and retrace your steps to try and see if anything comes up amiss. Something probably happened on patrol which you didn’t share with us that may be a key to working this out.”

It’s the first time Bruce has spoken up since seeing Jason the way he currently is. His voice sounds strained and as Dick noticed earlier, the man seems to be stuck in the past while looking at his second son the age he had been when he died.

Jason looks contemplative for a moment before piping up, “why wouldn’t I share everything with you, especially something significant? Isn’t that what you drill into us from the very beginning?”

At that comment Dick couldn’t help but snort which earns him a dirty look from the current teenager. Everyone else was snickering though. “Seriously? As if we all tell Bruce everything that happens during patrol. Nothing changes when you get older buddy.”

That’s the truth. Dick’s done it, hidden things, even big things, from Bruce that’s happened during a patrol. He knows for a fact Tim’s done it, the girls and even Damian. It’s typical behaviour, whatever excuses they may come up with but it’s not unusual for someone to hide something. Most of the time everyone is pretty good about reporting back but on occasion some things ‘may be forgotten about’.

Bruce clears his throat pointedly. “Until then, we’ll keep you safe. We may need to refer to you for different things throughout, but until then you stay here.”

Jason dramatically groans and rolls his eyes. “Ugh, fine if I have too.” With that he climbs off the stool and drops his plate off in the sink. “Thanks for breakfast Alfie, perfect as usual, glad to know your culinary skills are still on point.”

“Thank you Master Jason.” Alfred acknowledges with amusement.

“If I have to stay here I’m at least going to go and check out the library. Surely it must have expanded over the years right?”

As he begins to head for the door Cass blocks his path and grabs his wrist. “Let’s spar in gym.”

Caught off guard by her sudden appearance in front of him Jason blinks, “uh sure?” he glances round before looking at her again. “How good are you in combat?”

Steph lets out a barking laugh. “Oh this is something I need to see. She’s by far the best of us.” The blonde leads the way out of the kitchen and Cass drags Jason out with her before he could respond. As they disappear Dick couldn’t help but think that it’s strange seeing Jason almost the same height as Cass. It’s as amusing as it is weird.

“If you need any tech support let me know, otherwise I’m going to go watch Cass beat baby Jason’s ass.” Following his statement Tim leaves the kitchen with a fresh mug of coffee in his hands and follows their siblings.

With only four of them left in the kitchen Duke speaks up. “If you want me to patrol Crime Alley I can see if I can find anything out the ordinary or ask around to who may have seen Jason patrolling last night. I can also ask my own contacts for any information.”

Bruce sighs and runs a hand over his face. “That would be most useful, thanks Duke. Let me know if you hear anything back.”

Duke nods. “I’ll go out a little later and tonight too. For now I’m going to join the others, someone needs to record this…”

In a hurry Duke darts out of the kitchen which leaves only three of them. Alfred begins cleaning up breakfast and Dick stands there staring at Bruce.

“You okay?” He asks the man concerned.

“I’m fine,” comes the unsurprising response. “It’s just…” Bruce waves a hand and lets his sentence trail off but Dick knows exactly what he’s thinking.

“I know.” Dick says quietly, in understanding. “It’s hard seeing him like that. For now we just need to try and work out what happened to him and why. I’ll help where I can so let me know what you need and when.”

Bruce looks at him grateful, probably because Dick isn’t forcing him to share his emotions on the situation. Even if he pushed for answers Dick doubts Bruce would answer. Despite it being years and how they’ve manged to move on from what happened, long conversations and healing with Jason himself playing into that, seeing Jason this young again is bringing up raw emotions and memories.

“Thanks for breakfast Alfred.” Dick says pushing himself up away from the side he had been leaning on the entire time. He smiles at the elderly man as he heads out of the kitchen in pursuit of his younger siblings, the least he can do until Bruce calls him for help is try to keep the rest of them out of trouble. He just hopes they can find a solution to what’s happened sooner rather than later.

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thecornerofegg · 6 months

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I saw my first ever Batman movie yesterday (Batman begins) and Alfred is WAY more amazing then i could've ever expected

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

#hes funny like propperly funny #thats something i didnt expect full-scale from the old buttler character #and sassy!#and i just really like his role in the story #alfred is my favorite now #batman #alfred pennyworth #batman begins #i need more old butler characters in my life

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robinreadscomics · 1 year

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batman #494

just some a+ exasperated/sassy alfred mugging here. incredible.

what up gay nerds!!

so robin escapes from the sewer while a weary batman tries to get a bit of rest back at wayne manor. the two lick their wounds & argue (again) in the batcave, but batman is soon suiting back up & getting ready to head back out. i just love alfred in this scene, as there's a panel of him foregrounded just sort of throwing his hands up in sassy frustration, which is just literally always a top tier alfred mood.

this issue also sees joker & scarecrow teaming up, which is a frightening proposition indeed, and will position them for their role later in the story.

definitely a transition issue, but one with a lot of interesting stuff going on in it.

b-rank

#batman #batman 494 #robin #bane #the joker #scarecrow dc #scarecrow #dc comics #comic review #comics #comic books #reviews #alfred pennyworth #sassy alfred

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mothmanussy · 1 year

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I don't care what any comic, person, or creature says, Alfred does not die. I can't lose the sassy butler I need him

#just thoughts #idk #batman #alfred pennyworth #alfred #butler #sassy

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rougerave · 4 months

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This is taken from two prompts that I saw from @bruciemilf.

The first prompt was that Martha Wayne was Russian and the second prompt was that Thomas Wayne was Texan.

If we were to combine the two prompts, we would end up with a very sassy, very sarcastic Russian Texan Bruce Wayne. This man would be unstoppable. No one gets to pull one over Bruce in meetings at WE.

He has the seriousness of his mother, business savey, smile of a predator, eyes sharp and tongue sharper as he cussed at board members in Russian, accent and pronounation perfection galore.

That ability to annoy particularly slizly members with that condescending cherry smile of his father. "Bless your heart, you're just a darling," accent thick smile sunny.

But he is also the product of Alfred Pennyworths proper British mannerisms. Sarcastic remarks are free, polite conversation reserved for family and close friends, raised eyebrow that gets his kids nervous.

But one thing that he got that makes him stand out as a parent is the continuous soft but stern nurturing ways that he gets from all three of his parents. This is why the Wayne kids aren't spoiled brats. He is not afraid to lecture them in Russian in public, they are very quickly humbled with that condescending smile and they are never afraid to get advise, because it will come in the form of politeness and the respect of an equal.

This man would be unstoppable honestly.

#Russian Texan Bruce Wayne #Batfamily #alfred pennyworth #batfamily shenanigans #Martha and Thomas Wayne #Check out @bruciemilf. They're great.

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spoiledbutkindaawayne · 1 month

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Might have sent typo ask to you and others so resending (sorry if you got the typo it’s 1am and while my curiosity doesn’t grow tired my brain and hands clearly do)Resending now to just avid all that: Opinions on ur siblings?

This made me laugh so hard! The first thing I read today and it's so relatable...

So, unlike Duke, I live for chaos!

Bruce

Love this man, maybe not BEST DAD EVER, but the effort he puts in to improve himself says a lot

Clark

Mother

Kal

Really awesome, golden retriever heart pitbull body

Dick

Definatly has oldest sister syndrome, but he's dope

Wally

Simp

Jason

Body of a bull, heart of a doberman, brain of a squirrel

Roy

Simp but sassy

Tim

If you need to talk just to talk, he's great at ignoring you while he's busy

Conner

Idk honestly, we need to hang out more

Bart

Funny mumchkin with the personality of a husky on crack and Adderall

Duke

My best friend, though I have come very close to taking his other leg

Ric

My wittle baby bird who's also older than me, I think, he's great

Damian

Best Boi

Alfred

Best for last, grandpappy with so much love for his family he could be a Star Sapphire

@talontedassassin @future-mr-darcy @thecoolerkent @crashest-of-them-all @alfred--pennyworth @ohgodtheresanotherone @onetruewayne @totallytimtastic @thegreatflyinggrayson @brucie-wayne-official @smallville-reporter

#sassy steph #dc rp #dcu rp #gotham rp #stephanie brown #gotham #dc #stephanie brown rp #dc comics #tw meds

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thatthirdtriplet · 2 months

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Relationships:

Tim Drake & Jason Todd Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Dick Grayson & Jason Todd Tim Drake & Alfred Pennyworth Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne

Characters:

Tim Drake Dick Grayson Jason Todd Bruce Wayne Alfred Pennyworth Kate Kane (DCU) Talia al Ghul Damian Wayne

Additional Tags:

Tim Drake is a Talon Tim Drake-centric Tim Drake Needs a Hug Tim Drake is Not Okay confused Tim Drakes cared Tim Drake Dick Grayson is Nightwing Protective Dick Grayson Good Sibling Dick Grayson Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine Kid Tim Drake Jason Todd is Red Hood Protective Jason Todd Good Sibling Jason Todd Angst with a Happy Ending Happy Ending Eventual Happy Ending fluff and Angst fluff angst Tim Drake Has Issues Tim tries to eat a bath bombdon't be like TimPast Child Abuse Implied/Referenced Child Neglect Bathing/Washing hair Washing flinching bath Bomb Cute Tim Drake identity Reveal Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent Bruce Wayne is Batman stressed Bruce Wayne parent Bruce Wayne crying Tim Drake biting blood cereal Alfred Pennyworth is the Best BAMF Alfred Pennyworth Alfred Pennyworth is a Saint Protective Alfred Pennyworth Alfred Pennyworth is So Done awesome Alfred Pennyworth cookies tired Tim Drake needles sassy Tim Drake Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent swearing plushies colouring knife Water Toddler Damian WayneProtective Talia al Ghul minor Character Death bad Parents Jack and Janet Drake

Summary:

Talon will never regret leaving. He isn't as stupid as what people say. Talon knew that the court would kill him sooner or later. Most likely sooner. Talon knew he was useless. He was told that enough.

Aka The batfamily take in a Talon.

#tim drake #dick grayson #bruce wayne #jason todd #kate kane #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #talia al ghul #learning how to live

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