#ps i fucking hate that i have to say this. but some of you are sending me horrible messages. this is not an ANTI JEW movement
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[ID: Tweet by @/bintyalo that says, "If Israelis were indigenous to Palestine, they wouldn't be so ok with its destruction. They wouldn't burn olive trees that are older than their constitution. They wouldn't attack historical religious buildings. Their hearts would ache at the destruction of our land". End ID]
#palestine#gaza#israel is a terrorist state#israel is an apartheid state#ps i fucking hate that i have to say this. but some of you are sending me horrible messages. this is not an ANTI JEW movement#jews originating from palestine are indigenous to the land. israeli colonizers are not
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I wish i could get buproprion without a prescription this shit is way too good to give up ㅠㅠ
#damn it#i stopped my meds for a week and it didn't change a thing#but i took them again just to see if that would make a difference and holy shit#i was thinking about pausing taking them for a while now because i wanted to have the side effects back#like when i first started taking them 2020#and i never did because i thought I'd be miserable due to withdrawal and also it would take longer than a week to 'reset' my...#body? brain? idk. whatever. it actually makes a huge difference for me though#i hate how you have to get insulted by doctors in order to get these meds#I'd even pay for it myself fuck health insurance coverage#but noooo#can't have shit#sooooo#i gotta think about a way to continue to get them#it shouldn't be as hard as adhd meds to get it from my family doctor but I've been thinking it probably would be better#to not bring them up with her and instead suffer from my ps*chiatrist's insults for some more time#because so far there is no mention of mental illness in my file at my family doctor's office despite mentioning the ADs#if I'd get them prescribed there they would absolutely add depression and i do not want that#maybe my ps*chiatrist retires or dies soon then I'll never talk to one ever again but while she's there i may as well use her#as my drug supplier#(she's probably 52 but we've had two (2!) psychiatrists under the age of 50 die within the last 6 months in this tiny town#which has caused quite some issues because we have like 4 in total lmao#(so it wasn't a joke saying maybe she'll die soon. anyone could die anytime is the point. i think about people dying a lot and what would#change in my life then. (idk just felt like the phrasing was weird and wanted to elaborate but it whatever) )#void screams
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As a Holocaust historian I have to say that I am deeply disturbed by how much everyone hates Jews. It’s like they waited for Israel to do something real bad until they felt like it was ok to pull out their latent desire to yell that “Hitler was right.”
Deeply. And some of those responses to my now deleted post will live rent free in my head.
If your first impulse upon seeing this is to scream at me about how I’m making atrocities in Gaza about my feelings, you hate Jews. You fucking hate Jews and you should at least have the grace to own it.
Now go show your ass and unfollow me.
ps: I’m not playing Nice Neighborhood Public Historian rn. I’m angry and scared and frankly traumatized. Shitty responses will be publicly shamed and then deleted and the user blocked.
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❝ ִִִִִִִִִִִִִֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶָָָָָָָָָָָָָ worries — coriolanus snow ִִִִִִִִִִִִִֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶָָָָָָָָָָָָָ ❞
☆ Warning: NSFW | pinv sex, creampie, cum eating, blowjob, orgasm control, overstimulation, loss of virginity (m.), handjob, mutual masterbation (each other) if you squint, riding, spit play, breath play, reader has fem! anatomy, mentions of blood & blood sucking (from a lip bite)| lmk if I forgot anything
☆ Pairing: afab/gn! soft dom(-ish)! Reader x sub(-ish)! virgin! Coriolanus Snow
☆ Summary: uhm, you take Snows' virginity <3
☆ A/N: first time writing gn reader, please be respectful and tell me if anything's wrong, but don't be mean about it and i finally wrote reader spitting in Coryos' mouth and it should be a regular thing, look AT him ugh, a meal fr, wanna eat him, suck off all of his cu- i should stop...
Ps. The one who requested this to be gn, i hope you like this and i did it justice, if there's anything wrong (like accidentally refering to the reader as fem) then please let me knw :)
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“You've never done this before?” You questioned as you entered his room. All cold and dusty stone with a bed on the corner. The bed in which you plan to do unspeakable things with him.
“No, he said, “Will that be a-” You shake your head as you see his wide blue eyes waiting for rejection. He hated that he brought you here. He hated that you saw him. Him. Not Coriolanus Snow from the academy but Coryo who tries and tries but gets fucked over anyway.
After finding out that the District 12 girl was his, he wanted to protest, he was being set up to fail. You saw him for he is, his mind filled with worries, endless thoughts running around making him unable to breathe. He felt invalid and he needed you to do something about it.
And as you notice him among the crowd, seduce him with your eyes and whisper your desires to him. He brings you to the penthouse, trying to control the urge to apologize as you have to walk 12 cases of stairs.
You knew his secret like the dean did but you didn't do anything about it except for the meals and clothes sent to him anonymously during the coldest nights of Panem but he didn't know that.
You walked towards him, pinning him to the door of his room with a gentle thud. “You don't have to worry about anything, princess,” you whispered to him, your eyes filled with lust and your lips twisted in a teasing smile. You run your finger over his sharp jaw, taking joy when a soft gasp comes from him. His breathing is getting faster and the blood rushing from his cock and his head turning empty from your simple touch.
You were going to have some fun with this boy. You're going to make him yours. Make him forget and help him through everything as his now serrah. Even if it means rigging the games so he would win. It's your job to care for him now and you're a perfectionist.
The first task, let the wide-eyed man feel pleasure in someone's touch for the first time. You tsk in dissatisfaction as your fingers feel his bony chest. He needs to eat, he needs to be pampered. ‘I'll have to fix that’, you thought as you pressed your lips on his collarbone. He lets out a breath, his body heating up from the kisses you plant on his chest. Your tongue teasing his nipple causes him to whimper and you earn a broken moan when your teeth decide to nip the bud.
You suck his nipple, savoring the gasp he makes and how his fingers wove into your hair. “Please. Please more,” he groans and who are you to deny him? You couldn't say no to his pretty face even if you didn't want to. So you get down on your knees, pushing your face into his crotch and you swear you could smell the heady scent of his pre-cum soaking through his trousers. You moan, deciding to tease him as you use your teeth to pull down his zipper. You'll never know the will it took for Coriolanus not to cum right then and there.
You take down his trousers, the line of his hard cock clear in his boxes, a wet spot of his pre-cum formed where the tip is. You decided not to tease him words but with actions, your tongue licks the wetness, letting your saliva sweep into the fabric along with his salty pre. He groans above you, a thud echoing into this room as the back of his head hits the door.
You set his cock free from its confines, your mouth watering as you look at the pink tip forming a bead of pearly white pre-cum. The tip of your tongue catches it and the pleasure (or torture) of Coriolanus Snow begins.
You start simply, teasingly as your lips trail sloppy wet kisses all over his length. Your tongue traces along the pretty veins of his cock, your lips reaching his base and mouthing his cock causing him to let out a needy whine and a plea of more, more and more. You repeat the process until you catch his cockhead inside of the carven of your warm, wet mouth. Another broken groan leaves his mouth as he sees your lips stretch around his mushroom tip.
The fingers of his curled in your hair tightens and as a warning you make your nails dig into the flesh of his thighs causing him to his and immediately loosen his grip on you. An apology falls from his lips, his eyes glossing over as he feels his dick getting wet. Your mouth begins to suck his tip. Your tongue savors the bitterness of him as you swirl your tongue around his slit, lapping up as much as possible.
Meanwhile, Snow was biting his lower lip as hard as possible, the blood pooling in his mouth as he tried to keep much of his sound quiet for the sake of others who might be home. His mind was blank, all he could think was how pretty you looked on your knees like this, how you took control despite the one kneeling. You didn't even take all of him, sucking his cockhead diligently but the rest of his cock was left out. He was glad that did so because he knew he couldn't take the hot, wet mouth of yours all over his cock without cumming on the spot.
He could feel himself venture too close to spilling inside of your mouth, he let his free hand venture down to the path and he gripped the base of his cock trying to ruin his upending orgasm.
You take your mouth off him, making him let out a desperate whimper as he feels his dick out of your warm carven. You raised an eyebrow at him, feeling utterly amused by how adorable he is. You kiss his tip. “Trying to last longer, baby?” You questioned with a teasing tilt in your voice.
“I don't want to” Snow can't admit the fact he doesn't want to cum so soon, it's embarrassing so he says it in different terms, “I want this to last.” His eyes were now fully blown with lust, his curls clinging to his forehead and his cheeks painted red with pleasure.
“Hmm,” you hum, standing up trying to ignore the slight ache of your knees. You take his hand, guiding the boy to bed before pushing him on the mattress. You straddle him, his shirt was long forgotten on the floor along with the rest of his clothes. It was your turn now and you quickly did the same. Coryo lets out a needy soft noise as your skin is exposed to his eyes, his fingers skimming along the curves of your body. “Can I?” He asked, his eyes begging for your agreement.
“Yes, Coryo. You can,” you permit him and you nearly let out a wanton moan as the heat of his fingertips sweeps into your skin, warming you up as his hands experimentally begin to knead your breasts. His fingers squeeze your nipples making you softly moan near his ear. “That's it, baby. Make me feel good.” You whispered to him, “A bit rougher- ah- ah- there you go. That's a good boy.”
His hips jolt forward when you praise him and a whine escapes from the back of his throat. “Please,” he lets out, “Let me feel you. I will be good, I promise.” You gaze wonders at his angry red tip and you decide not to play with him any further for the moment. You kiss his forehead for a moment of vulnerability in all of this tension. “Okay, my prince,” you whispered as you kissed his lips next, letting your tongues meet in a rather filthy and sloppy kiss as you let him guide you to your back on the mattress.
His hand traces down and gets a hold of your hips, his fingers squeezing the flesh a tad too hard but it felt so good and the fact he would leave marks didn't bother you. Your fingers wove into his blonde strands, bringing him down to catch his lips in an open mouth kiss. As your other hand is on his shoulder, his body pressed onto yours and you moan into his mouth as you feel his comforting weight on top of you. His dick twitched against your thigh, leaking pre-cum onto your skin.
You take in his bleeding bottom lip in your mouth and suck on it, enjoying the tang of the metallic taste on his tongue as he clumsily begins to press his cockhead into your soaking cunt. You were so focused on Coriolanus that you had forgotten about your aching cunt begging to be stretched with his cock.
If it hadn't felt so good when his cock slid right in because of how wet you were, you would have been embarrassed. You bite into his lower lip, trying to adjust to the burn of being stretched by his thick cock. If you weren't so impatient, you would have taught Coryo how to prep you first but that's for another day.
Coryo feels your teeth sinking into his bottom lip and a wanton, surprised moan leaves his mouth, his balls emptying and thick spurts of his cum flood into your pussy. You cry out as you feel his cock cumming against your pulsating walls. He buried his head onto your shoulder as he gasped his apology. As much as frustration filled your mind, you knew that you had to be gentle with your plaything.
You run your fingers through his hair, comforting him. “It's fine,” you whispered, your lips placing soft kisses on his shoulder. “But I don't want it to be over,” he admitted, shyness and desperation filling in his tone. “It doesn't have to be,” you replied as you squeeze your walls around his softening cock. A wicked smile plays on your lips, as you whisper, “It isn't over until I say so.”
He nods, willing to agree with whatever you say. You pushed him off you, getting yourself on top of him as his soft cock fully slips out of your pussy, leaving the entrance pushing out of his cum. Your fingers gather his seed and you pop your digits into your mouth, your tongue lapping up his taste off your fingertips. His dick twitches from the sight, coming back to life as Coryo lets out a whine while he looks at you sucking your fingers so good with your mouth hollow.
You take his length in your hand, fingers surrounding the girth in a perfect fist. He hissed when you squeezed and began to stroke him slowly. Trying your best not to overwhelm him and failing miserably because tears were pooling in his eyes, his lips were parted to leave wounded, pretty sounds. His fingers curled on the bed sheets as you stroke his cock back to life.
You lean to press another kiss to the tip, your eyes peering at his teary ones. “You sure?” You asked, you had to pat his cheek for an answer because all that left his mouth as you questioned was a whimper.
“Do you want to continue, Coryo?” You asked, in the softest tone possible. Your mind is ready to cuddle him for aftercare and draw a shower. But instead, he shakes his head, “Don't please- I need this.”
“Okay, I won't,” you whispered back, your lips pressing a wet kiss to his cheek, and then let the kisses trail until you reach his neck where his pulse is. Your mouth begins to suck as you continue to stroke his length, your fist now covered with his drooling pre-cum, a bit more watery than before.
Your free hand goes to your cunt, your fingers rubbing your clit to feel some relief from your aching pussy. Coriolanus notices that and can't help but feel bad. His fingers wrapped around your wrist stopping your movements, a silent question in his eyes and you removed your hand in answer.
A giddiness could be seen in Coryos as he explores your cunt for the first time. You get into a position where it is easier for you both to play with each other. He spreads your pussy lips, his eyes taking in your glistening cunt (with your juices and his cum). He swipes at your folds, gathering the wetness all over his digits, and you encourage him to take the digits in his mouth, and of course, he agrees.
He will do anything to get his head empty and his body to be jelly. So he takes his fingers in his mouth, letting his tongue lick every remnant of your juices and his bitter cum. He groans, his eyes getting cross stared and his cock begins to throb dangerously in your end. He was close to the edge again by such a simple thing.
‘Cute’ you thought, but you don't want him to cum again without getting something in return. So you stopped the strokes, ignoring his confusion, and pleas for more. Instead, you guide yourself on his cock again, your eyes flashing to him with a warning that despite the gentleness you had shown, you could be cruel too.
Yet when you sink on his cock, you make sure to hold his hand, fingers intertwined for comfort. You murmur endless praises to him.
“That's a good boy.” “Look at you filling me up so well.” “Ah- fuck, baby. Your cock is stretching me out perfectly.”
Each praise made his cock throb against your pulsating walls. This time he didn't cum immediately, but the jolt of electricity that went through his veins when both of your pelvis bones were touching, now joined to the hilt felt like he did. You take the hand you were holding and kiss the inside of your wrist with butterfly kisses.
These simple actions of yours were overwhelming to him. No one had cared for him so delicately like he was glass. It meant everything to him and a rush of emotions caused tears to begin to flow from his eyes.
You chalked his crying to overstimulation and leaned forward to kiss his eyelids. “It's okay,” you whispered against his ear, “It's okay, Coryo.” You let out a soft moan as you begin to move your hips. Slow and shallow thrusts. You hear him groan too, his hand squeezing yours. His free hand on your ass, groping the flesh.
“That's a good boy,” you whispered when you began to speed up your rocking hips making Coriolanus gasp. “You're doing so well, my dear,” you praised him. You moan as your hips find the perfect angle to hit the spongy spot in your gummy walls.
You begin to ride Coryo in earnest. His cock stroked the deepest part of your slick walls with each thrust. It makes you see stars with each breath you take. It was perfect and you made sure that Snow knew that with your hushed praises. Meanwhile, Coriolanus wasn't better off either with molten lava in his body, his mind now blank with how good getting dick wet felt.
He never understood the hype about sex but now he was addicted. He was sure he was going to need you like air, like a puppy going for a pet to its owner for comfort. He was going to need you after this, again and again.
He was close, wanting to cum again, he could feel how wet your walls were and wondered if it was your juices or his own that contributed to it the most. He was close so he voiced that. “I am-” he closed his eyes, feeling the burn of embarrassment, “Close.”
You hum in response, stopping your movements to catch a much-needed breath. “You're not allowed to cum until I say so, pretty boy,” you said with authority, “I let it go the first time, now I expect you to behave.” You add, “You'll cum with my permission or else. . .” You smirk, “You're a smart boy, Coryo. You wouldn't like punishment, would you?”
Coriolanus shakes his head, he sniffs and you find it adorable how his nose scrunches up that it makes you smile at him. “I will be good, I promise,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “Please.”
You give him a nod. You leaned down to kiss his lips, both of your tongues tangling together into something soft. Your hand leaves the grip it had on his hand to wrap itself around his neck. He moans inside your mouth as you put a bit of pressure onto his neck, not restricting his breathing but certainly making him light-headed. It worked as a good distraction.
Your free hand goes between your bodies and you find your clit. Your fingers begin to play with the bud. Small circles send jolts of pleasure to your core, making your cunt tighten around his dick. It made his hip snap back into yours, a deep groan resounding in the room as his hips began to thrust into you. Just small movements of sheer desperation of wanting to cum.
You were feeling the same, desperation clawing your body as the tension keeps building and building each time his cockhead grazes your g-spot. You were so close and everything turned sloppy.
Two animals in heat it seemed with how the two of you were acting. Your fingers pinch your clit as you begin to rock on his cock faster than ever, deep groans leaving Coryo's lips and his hands holding onto your hips to ground him as he takes whatever you give.
He was pussy drunk, his eyes glazed over and mouth drooling on the corners. You were pathetic enough to lick the saliva, holding his jaw open as you gathered your spit inside your mouth and then you let the goop of drool fall onto his tongue.
You thought for a moment this would snap him out from his fucked out glaze, except he swallowed it without a word, his hips stuttering in the pace and he mutters, his lips glistening, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” And god, that ruined you.
Your cunt begins to spasm around his cock, flexing walls around his length causing him to cry out for permission to let go and you yell out a yes. Liquidy spurts of cum begin to shoot out of his tip and inside your womb. Both of you let out a moan as the thrusts begin to slow down and cease.
As soon as you catch your breath and your body feels solidified, you caress his cheek. “Would you like to cuddle, baby?”
The answer to that was a breathless yes.
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Hi! Love your work! I dont know if your requests are open but Id love to see more of your Haikyuu work! Loved the the recent one and i just cant stop rereading it.
I wonder what would happen if reader was hit on by one of the other volleyball players before/after the matches. I just wanna see the three boys get jealous and protective honestly hahahd ofc if you dont want to write this its okay too! ( Ps. I also love ur Daisuke one, i love him hes so cute 🥰🥺 cant wait to see more of ur work )
drabble...aftermath of Karasuno
taglist : @ayuxiru @tehyunnie @rainnyydaysworld @webwanderer
i stopped working on my haikyuu fics bc i started s4 and i could NOT see atsumus face HAHHAHH idky i HATE HIM ARGH/jk. We love Daisuke in this household. Can anyone tell Daichi is my favourite? HAHA
this will be the last one for the crows CAW CAW
harassed, dark in general
Find out more under the cut!
[SCENARIOS LOADING...]
Another team harasses the manager!
[START SCENE]
"Hey! Karasuno's manager! Don't make such an ugly face."
A certain (h/c) frowned, being cornered by tall volleyball players from other schools. He had just went to retrieve the paper rosters from the organizers for their current tournaments at the Sendai Gymnasium where Preliminaries are being held when he was stopped by students from other schools.
"You look like you don't have a lot on your hands right now. Why don't you come with us? Free some tension...you probably need it." A hand grasped (m/n)'s shoulders to which the (h/c) swatted it away. "Don't touch me." He hissed as he tried to move past them but another shoved him back against the walls, them moving closer to the manager.
"Hey hey. We're all friends here, right?" Hissing in pain as the hand lodged in his shoulder pressed his nails further, crinkling his black jumpsuit. "Listen here, fucker. I don't know what household you grew up in, but go ride someone else's dick. Better yet, why don't you go suck each other off? Since you're so desperate for some action."
(m/n) spat, his foul mouth and his temper wasn't a good combination but it was the right mixture for this situation. He pushed the players' arm and was ready to leave until his hair was clenched painfully.
A yelp from (m/n) and the ringleader of the group pulled his face close. "Nice face but a repulsive tongue...damn and I thought we could do this nicely. We'll find a use for your mouth soon." "Let go, asshole-"
Fuck, who do they think they are? The only one grabbing my hair is usually-
"I suggest you let him go."
A heavy voice uttered from behind them, catching the attention of the group. Asahi clasped the hand that seized (m/n)'s head. "Before I break your wrist." He muttered with a death glare, the light in his eyes gone.
"Fuck! Is he the coach or something?!" One of them whispered, scanning his mature features. Someone grasped (m/n)'s hand, pulling him away from the group. "Learn how to take a hint when someone says they don't like you." Sugawara pushed the manager behind him.
"Or go die in some random dump, you trash."
He stated blandly, his voice losing any cheery tone he would always carry. How ironic. (m/n) could never be more glad that the third years were here, clenching the papers in his hand. He felt someone gently pull his bicep.
"Go." Daichi muttered. "The team's around the corner. Go see Kiyoko for..." He brushed (m/n)'s head, where his hair was tousled.
The only one who would usually, or rather the only one, grabbing (m/n)'s head, tugging his hair, digging their nails into his scalp was Daichi Sawamura.
The (h/c) didn't think twice to leave the scene, not leaving a glance to the yelling players who had harassed him, Daichi particularly approaching the one who had pulled (m/n)'s hair.
-
He didn't want to be here anymore, (m/n) lazily draped himself across the railings. Only one manager was allowed on the benches so he and Yachi had to sit up in the audience' seats but he asked for some alone time from Yachi, her concerned about him after hearing that he was disturbed by a team from another school earlier.
Hinata had jumped up and about when (m/n) returned to their team, demanding to know who had hurt his friend and Kiyoko checked his scalp, making sure nothing was broken and everything was fine. Tanaka was adamant on being a good senior and wanting to avenge his manager so he went to help the third years who were confronting the aggressors but immediately retreated, staying quiet when Ennoshita asked what they were up to.
The games started and the first match went well, battling up against a two meter player. Daichi didn't speak to him yet. (m/n) noticed a bruise forming on Asahi's jaw and Sugawara only smiled at him quietly.
Second game came around and (m/n) held back a flight of curses from his mouth when the team Karasuno had to play against were the same players who had cornered him earlier, their captain glaring holes into Daichi. He noticed a few of them were missing, specifically the bitchy ringleader.
"Hey, (m/n). Thought you'd be down there this time."
Oikawa approached his cousin, leaning onto the railings in a similar fashion to the (h/c). "I guess all third years in your team is staying huh." He poked (m/n). "Yeah." He mumbled. "Looks like yours too."
(e/c) glanced at the Seijoh team that were currently watching over Karasuno's briefing by their coach. He noticed a new player. Someone that has a tennis ball for a head.
"Well, we're gonna beat Shiratorizawa this year. I'm gonna show Ushiwaka who's boss." "You say that at every game." The setter slapped (m/n)'s back, the latter yelping and smacking his laughing cousin. "So gloomy and for what? Your team seems to be energetic-...well they're playing more aggressive than usual."
Asahi slammed the ball set by Kageyama, earning a point as the libero was unable to receive the spinning ball. The ace looked furious, his eyebrows furrowing as he asked Kageyama for a faster set. Sugawara was itching to get on the court, pacing around, warming his legs up so he could be ready when he had a chance to play. Daichi was silent, his usual words of affirmation to the team gone. Only Tanaka and Nishinoya cheering when they won a point.
"We're going to win. Against them at least." Daichi muttered, his eyes gazing up at (m/n) when Coach Ukai took a timeout and asked what was wrong and why their play styles had differ today.
(m/n) stared back but quickly looked away when he felt butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't tell what those insects were trying to tell him. Daichi had warmed his bed a lot for the past month, even his parents assumed he was his boyfriend by how often he had came over to his house.
Karasuno won a fast game. Two sets straight, 25 - 17 and 25 - 13. The last set where all the third years were deployed went by quick, Asahi shining as the MVP.
"Well, that's my cue. I wonder when we'd play against you, it'd be any different." "....It will." Oikawa raised an eyebrow. "Thought you'd support me this time. Given how your team lost on our last match." "But they'll win."
(m/n) peered at Oikawa, from the corner of his eyes. "My team will win beating yours, Tooru." The setter only stared down at the manager with a smirk.
"What's with the change of heart?" "..."
He didn't reply, only getting up to greet the team as he stood in the hallways, letting Hinata crash into him. Sugawara pulled the middle blocker off of him. "Now now. Stop causing trouble or Takeda-sensei won't let us watch the other teams play." They were done for the day and as requested by Kageyama, they went to see Seijoh's match.
Sugawara held (m/n) behind however, letting the team go first as they stood in an isolated staircase. He ran his fingers through (h/c) hair, his eyes squinting at the manager as he smiled reassuringly. "I hope you're alright, (m/n). We beat them for you. Those idiots. People who have nothing else to do but lay their waste on innocents like you."
The (h/c) hummed uneasily, leaning his head on the setter's shoulders and his fingers clutching onto the latter's jersey. "I didn't mean to talk to them. They cornered me." "I know, I know." Sugawara cooed, his other hand caressing (m/n)'s back.
A similar but earlier incident had happened, whereas a student confessed to the (h/c), who declined but Hinata excitedly told the team and Sugawara had an outburst in private, accusing (m/n) of cheating behind their backs despite them having no declaration, only taming (m/n) into their current relationship.
"Did I ever scare you? You look at me like I'm going to snap your neck at any second." The setter teased, his hand trailing over (s/c) neck, his fingertips pressing onto (m/n)'s Adam's apple. "No. You wouldn't." That was a bluff.
He had learned that Sugawara had the most violent tantrums out of the three. Paranoid, spiralling about what (m/n) does when he wasn't around. The (h/c) had learned what to say, what to do overtime, to ease the third year.
Said third year smiled at him. "If anyone ever approaches you, like earlier, scream our names okay." He always made sure to include Daichi and Asahi. "Remember, you're our favourite."
He winked at the (h/c) who didn't give much of a reaction, only hugging the setter. Was there any difference between those assholes and the third years in Karasuno? Both of those groups forced him, into these uneasy situations, Karasuno taking a longer approach.
Crows tend to build their nests with meticulous resolve, choosing the right twigs and taking the softest materials for the lining. Karasuno did live up to their name, (m/n) completely accepting his predicament, laying in the den Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi had woven for him.
Sugawara pulled (m/n)'s face up, smiling at him before pressing his lips to the (h/c) who opened his mouth when the setter swiped his tongue on his lips. "Let me hear you, (m/n)." The setter muttered as he pressed his wet muscle against (m/n)'s caressing his palate and pressing their bodies closer.
"Mmnff ahh! N-Not here Suga- ahk!" (m/n) choked when he felt a hand cupping his crotch, his breath shaky and coming out in stutters as he pushed Sugawara's chest. His cheeks were hot and he clenched his fist on Suga's jersey.
"Hahaha is it because we're in public? You'd be much more in trouble with Asahi then." The setter pulled away, letting (m/n) breathe as he dragged him up the stairs and they stepped into the auditorium seating. "Go. You owe me a date for this." He kissed the (h/c)'s forehead before pushing him to the row where Asahi and Daichi were.
The setter walked past them, opting to sit beside the second years, distracting them when they asked where was the manager. Said manager stood nervously, Asahi and Daichi silent, both of them sat in the furthest behind row, whereas everyone was sitting close to the railings to watch the games.
Usually (m/n) had no problem conversing with them, the third years constantly talking first but here they are staying silent. "...Good game." He referred to the two sets they stole from those assholes.
The captain didn't even look at him, only staring into space with a frown on his face. Asahi spared him a glance before beckoning the (h/c) to sit next to him. But as he was about to sit, the brunette pulled his arm, making him land in Asahi's lap instead.
"Huh? What are you-" He was silenced by Daichi's glance, his heart racing as Asahi adjusted him, placing him directly on top his crotch. "Sorry, (m/n)." The ace buried his face into the (h/c)'s shoulders. "Let me borrow you for a bit."
Here? In public? Where anyone could see him being used like a fucking-
His hands shook as he tried to peel himself off Asahi, but the latter only tightened his hold, crushing his waist with his muscular arms. "I'm sorry." The brunette mumbled apologies and (m/n) could feel his erection pressing up against his pants. He prayed the others wouldn't turn around. Daichi didn't move a finger, (m/n) couldn't read his face as he hopelessly squirmed in Asahi's lap.
He's going to see. He's going to look at me and see me like this.
His heart was beating fast, the ace still breathing heavily behind him and grinding his bottom on him. Daichi still didn't give any reaction. (m/n) felt his heartstrings pulled as the captain didn't give a damn of what was happening to him. Unintentionally, he glorified- favoured? Treasured the ravenette the most, the one who always seemed so distant from him yet was so close and quick to clog his throat-
Tears welled up in his (e/c) eyes as he turned his face away when he saw Tsukishima glanced at him from the corner of his sight. He genuinely prayed that no one else would see him in this shameful state.
Asahi stopped bucking his hips when a high pitched heave escaped from the (h/c)'s throat, (m/n) holding in a sob as he carved his nails into the ace's arm. "Shh...it's fine. No one saw anything. They just think you're sitting on me." He whispered into the manager's ear who shook his head. Tsukishima saw him and he was one of the smart ones. The rest of Karasuno hadn't seen but what about the other teams? Strangers who might pass by their rows. He hated how his three seniors didn't give a damn about his pride.
Asahi didn't make himself obvious, he just wanted to loose some steam is all. In the end, he did use (m/n) like those harassers did albeit tamer than expected but the intentions were there nonetheless. (m/n) whimpered endlessly as he was placed to sit on the cushioned seat in the same one as the ace, still with Asahi seated close behind him. (s/c) hands trembled as he peered at the captain who cruelly ignored him the entire time.
A tear slipped down his cheek as Asahi cooed at him, apologising and kissing his ears while rubbing his waist. Ensuring the (h/c) that he didn't even got off or anything as he whispered sweet nothings with his apparent boner pressing against (m/n)'s back. The manager was much more prone to crying when they were in public.
His hands hugged Azumane's as he leaned back into the ace's body, his attempt to hide his figure as he pulled on the ace's black jacket. "Hic- you're so fucking- mean to me." (m/n) whined as Asahi peppered kisses all over his face, his stubble scratching against his skin.
"I won't do it again." The ace muttered, placing his chin on the manager's head. (m/n) peered up and noticed the forming bruise. His fingers went to delicately trace them. "I knocked his teeth out." Asahi mumbled.
"Would've done more if their manager hadn't come running." (m/n) flinched when he heard Daichi utter. The first he spoke around the (h/c) after the whole harassment he suffered.
Coarse rough fingers covered his eyesight, a fingertip pressing against his right eye lightly, brushing his lashes and the ace placed his face down where (m/n) had his hair violently tugged. "Tell me if you want him to lose more."
(m/n) didn't say anything, only nodding as he let the ace touch his body, caressing his chest and inhaling his scent. He didn't feel bad for the attackers at all. They dug their own grave for being assholes.
He caught Daichi staring at him, the captain still facing straight but his eyes gazed into the (h/c)'s face as he slowly returned his focus back onto Seijoh's match.
(m/n) managed to pull himself off of the ace when the games were over and Karasuno was preparing to leave. He made sure he avoided Tsukishima, not wanting to answer any of his probing questions. He had went ahead to wash the water bottles at a pipe when he heard footsteps behind him.
He looked behind him to see Daichi with the bottle carrier, the captain picking up the clean ones and placing it in its stations while (m/n) finished up the last one. A rare act of kindness from the captain to the (h/c). "Are there any others left?" (m/n) shook his head to Daichi's question.
The captain staring at him with dead eyes and (m/n) noticed the small blot of red on the edge of his knuckles. He didn't say anything, carefully pulling Daichi's hand and placing it under the tap, letting the water flow and washing the ravenette's hand.
Said ravenette stared down at him with his usual silence. At times like this, (m/n) could never tell what the captain was thinking. Was he observing on what he would do? No. Daichi was too confident in his...work. Of what he made of (m/n) (l/n).
Maybe he expected it. (s/c) fingers rubbed the knuckles, ridding the smell of blood and dirt as Daichi stood directly behind the manager. "Did they hurt you?" The manager shook his head again. "I'm fine. They didn't do much."
He could feel eyes boring into the back of his head, the captain glaring holes at the part where they pulled (m/n)'s hair. "It's good for you to know."
Know what? The manager wanted to ask but opted to stay quiet instead. He could feel Daichi leaning into his (h/c) hair, them letting the faucet run under their intertwined hands.
"No one else can hurt you." (m/n) carefully turned his head around and found black eyes staring down at him. "Not Suga and not even Asahi..." The captain muttered, his other hand gripping the manager's jaw, the latter letting out a small gasp.
"Only me. And it will stay that way as long as I'm here." He muttered, leaning so close to (m/n)'s face, the other baring a blank expression, knowing and not daring to show any sign of fear.
"Be aware and be good....I'll take care of you."
The (h/c) nodded, the grip on his jaw loosened and suddenly he was enclosed with a kiss. Daichi pressed against the manager and bit his lower lip, prompting moans as (m/n) shakily wrapped his arms around the captain's neck, his knees weak.
Both of them leaned against the sink and there was a faint sound of an ambulance siren that could barely be heard over the shaky gasps and lustful moans the manager spilled from his throat. It was wrong to love your abuser. (m/n) wouldn't call it love.
He would never care for someone like Daichi.
But he couldn't leave. There was no option for someone like him, he could only embrace and lay in the nest the third years made for him. A good first year to embrace their devilish intent.
[END SCENE]
I planned like a smut scene where daichi fucks him but im tired of writing smut tbh. Like i need inspo. But if u didnt notice daichis hand was bloodied bc he did sumth to the harassers which is why theres an ambulance in the last part.
Someone requested a sick scenario where reader gets sick and third years feel bad for him but tbh they wouldnt feel bad. Its just more of an excuse to fuck him over and ill give a very SIMPLE drabble for that bc ive delayed this way for too long
[SCENARIOS LOADING...]
(m/n) falls sick and the third years takes good care of him!
[START SCENE]
"Mmhhaa mmngg ahnn!"
(m/n) cried as he clutched onto Asahi's gakuran, his back against the wall and his legs wrapped around the ace's waist. The brunette's cock deep in him as they hid in an isolated bathroom stall, the third year pulling him in before classes were starting.
It was the norm for him. And he thought his body could adjust but he wouldn't notice he was slowly falling apart with how frequent the third years was using him for a quick fuck.
"T-Too fast! Ahn! Mmmn ahn ah ah!" His legs were shaking as Sugawara held his hips as he pounded his ass, the setter biting onto the manager's bare shoulder. The setter had whisked (m/n) away during their lunch break, him pulling the first year into the empty clubroom and bent him over the table to fuck his ass. He laughed when he found out Asahi had gotten to him first.
Daichi rarely took him during school hours or even school grounds for that matter. It was always the other two filling his ass up or suffocating his throat.
(m/n) choked as his head was pushed deeper into Asahi's crotch, his body naked as he sucked and licked at the dick while Sugawara was behind him shotgunning his bottom while grinding onto his naked butt. Saliva and precum was dripping onto the gym closet floor.
Sugawara always hold the keys and he'd use it as an excuse to stay behind, forcing (m/n) to help just for him to push him onto his knees and forced his cock into his mouth.
The manager knew his body wasn't feeling well that day. Seven rounds of sex in 8 hours was a record for him and a threesome in the mix? He went home sick and woke up with a sore throat and a burning fever.
(m/n) didn't go to school and he was glad he got to recover in his own bed but his mother suddenly barged in saying that his friends and his boyfriend were there to see him. The third years had neutral expressions when they entered his room, Sugawara easily conversing with his mother as she left the room, leaving her son alone with the monsters.
"I can't believe you actually got sick. I thought you were faking it so you could avoid me today." Sugawara grinned, sitting on the edge of (m/n)'s bed and placing his hand on the manager's forehead, pulling away and pulling out a fever plaster to paste it on the manager.
"I told you he was sick. He could barely stand when we were walking home and you thought he was faking it? You're scary, Sugawara." Asahi muttered to which the setter snapped back at him and they both argued over who had pushed (m/n) too far on yesterday's events.
Daichi ignored the two as he walked over to the bed, (m/n) could barely open his eyes, his skin hot and his head aching. He felt a hand pulling down his blanket and someone pushing his shirt up. A cold wet palm laid flat on his belly. The (h/c) squirmed but embraced the cool, his chest heaved up and down with slow breaths.
"Get better. Soon." The captain ordered. His dark eyes staring blankly at the manager. Sugawara turned to (m/n) and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You heard the captain." "Make sure to stay away from Suga."
The setter continued to yell at the ace, moving off of the bed and Daichi took the opportunity to take his place, his eyes now locking with (e/c) as he brushed his hand against (m/n)'s cheek fondly. "...I'll take care of you. I said I would." The ravenette muttered, the hand he had washed earlier trailing from his stomach to his chest, his hand under (m/n)'s shirt.
Daichi would only take him in his bed, in his room at nights after practice. Now, he was sick and laying in said bed with the captain looming over him, his eyes scanning his weak features.
(m/n) couldn't do a thing, letting the third year care for his sick body. They would come over after practice bringing homecooked meals they would make at Daichi's house. Sugawara often cleaned his body, using a wet towel to cool his warm limbs or helping him into his shower where he would- this made the manager's mom became more fond of the third years, letting them into her son's room at any time she was especially too busy to check in on her precious child.
The manager knew they were some sick fucks but he didn't expect them to go that far truly. Sometimes they would grope him, offering a quickie while mocking him by bouncing the (h/c) on their lap but Daichi was quick to stop them, especially Sugawara who was a bit too happy that (m/n) was weak in his hands, too frail to push away.
Asahi didn't do much, only going through the (h/c)'s belongings, digging through photo albums and taking some of his more personal article of clothings. Stupid pervert. He didn't even bother hiding it too. Daichi would force them to leave when it was almost midnight, him staying over and sleeping on a spare futon.
He was so attentive to the (h/c)'s needs, making sure he took his medicine and eating the required nutrition he needed. He kept his promise and (m/n) was able to recover in three days, returning to school after being deemed well enough by the captain.
Oddly enough, Sugawara and Asahi didn't pounce on him the second they met. Only ruffling his hair or hugging him and saying they were glad to see him well before leaving him alone. (m/n) thought that they finally got their senses knocked into them.
Until night arrived and (m/n)'s mother made a fatal decision to allow Daichi to check her son for another time.
"D-Daichi! I c-can't- urmff! Mmngghaa- ackk!" One of his legs were being held up as he laid on his side, his mouth full with fingers and his hole throbbing around the thick dick shoved inside him. The ravenette slowly rolled his hips, feeling (m/n) tighten around him as the manager shot cum from his penis onto the bedsheets.
He loved when the (h/c) would come on his cock, fluttering walls around his base was pleasure as he quickly thrusted into the overstimulated first year, (m/n) drooling and choking on Daichi's coarse fingers.
"Three days. You have three days to compensate." Rounds of sex to reimburse the captain. Not for the care he provided. It was just more of a reason for Daichi to fill his hole and he had warned the other two not to approach him, wanting to have his ass all to himself for the next few days.
(m/n) let the captain use his hole, his body to fulfill his lust. He wasn't sick any longer and Daichi had promised to take care of him. He could only hope the ravenette doesn't have any plans to stay around him for the long-term. Excluding the fact that they were neighbours.
[END SCENE]
I just love daichi so much rahhh. Going to see the movie next week. Remember this is the last one for karasuno so dont request for this team any longer lovies💋 If karasuno was intense just imagine the power play with shiratorizawa MUAHAHAHHAHA
#bottom male reader#oukabarsburg#sub male reader#x male reader#x bottom male reader#male reader#male reader smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x male reader#haikyuu#male yandere x male reader#yandere
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FUCK! (I)
synopsis. You hated your roommate but he had the biggest crush on you, fuck.
pairing: fboy!jk x fem!reader
genre: f2l, e2l, roommates au, fboy au (wow so many cliches), comedy au, mature themes, bad language, sex jokes.
warnings. simpy simp koo. soft koo, sentimental koo, yns got some issues, relationship issues, fuckboy koo, hater yn(?), cringey, he’s so nosy, jealousy, bad first date, yn is a heartbreaker actually, they are both very blunt w each other lmaoo.
disclaimer. this is purely fictional and this doesn’t represent bts’ jungkook irl. mature themes 18+ content ahead. mdni. ps. this jungkook thinks w his dick 👍
note. SHARE FEEDBACK AND ENJOY! xx also I’ve been having the worst migraines for the last two days so plz forgive my shitty writing.
fic teaser.
series masterlist.
*not edited*
tag list [1]: @theblueslytherin @telepathytae @bergandysam @ughbandmembersx @taemond-in-the-ruff @dopepbanditlightpie @jungkooksseuphoria @ninanyctophilla @nk719 @wobblewobble822 @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @babycandy111 @alicebleu @withluvjm @bangtannie7 @ghaieeunit @bloopkook @chocomintkook @kookie-vuitton @uzumegui @goodkamma @actuallyada @kagami-s-void @jeonpendejo @blushblossomsblog @1-in-abillion @yahjiminssrecs @rheee-exe @tae-hibiscus @sangwoosimpie @dimguin @onlythebest-106 @cprcupcakkev@breadcheeksseokjin @aprilspring @laurynne5 @aureumjeon @lovebts-beca @luv—you @slid3er @bebejungkook @koo-kz @jamlessstars @shinyun @kookwolf @author-ssi @kakuzone @aliimac @bnagtanx1306 @pb-n-juju @mintsugarmy @apollukee @fairy-jaykay
“You look hot, going somewhere?”
Jungkook looked at you, his eyes carefully watched you as you came out of your room, you looked up to see him, there he was, sitting against the kitchen counter with a bottle of soju in his hands.
“Thanks for confirming. Yes I am.” You replied, looking for your red heels. You had put them right outside your room at the halls walls.
“I think your heels are there.” Jungkook pointed to the opposite side of the wall and you hmm, muttering a ‘thank you’ as you pick them up and wear them.
“Goodness I think I’m kinda late already.” You huff in disappointment. Jungkook chuckles at that making you stop what you’re doing and you roll your eyes at him.
“It’s not funny, jeon.” Jungkook shrugs. “I didn’t say it was, but it’s just such a you thing, yn.” He’s got that playful smile on his lips, “you’re always late.” He states it as a matter of fact.
Your housemate is so annoying.
“Haha okay.” You reply to him sarcastically. Jungkook winks at you.
“So is it a date?”
And very nosy too.
“Why do you care? But yes.” You pick up the purse and your coat, wearing in a hurry. “I don’t know, we’ll see how it goes though.”
Jungkook nods, his lips pursed together in a straight line. “When is it going to be my turn yn?”
That question makes you stop in your tracks.
“When can I take you out on a real date?”
You sigh, “jungkook.” You don’t know how to say it, he knows the answer but he always asks the same question again and again.
“You just broke up with your girlfriend.” You remind him, grabbing your keys. “And never” It’s hard for you to be so blunt about this, but you have to be honest.
He’s not your type.
“You’re not my type.”
You hear his tongue click and he gets up from the seat to walk up to you.
“Ouch. Too bad you are my type.” He confesses. “But it’s okay. I’ll just have to wait and convince you.” He rolls his arms across his chest.
“Have fun.” He winks again and stares at you in a weird way, almost like if he was heartbroken, you gaze back at him and it makes you feel like a bitch.
but you know better.
Guys like Jungkook were never heartbroken. Guys like him broke hearts.
“Thanks jeon, you too.”
And you can’t afford to have your heart broken again.
You feel like it’s almost and truly hypocritical of you to go on a date whilst keep rejecting Jungkook.
And this is not fun either.
“Umm, I don’t really have anything fun to share about me.” You are not sure of what to say or how to make this conversation go forward.
It’s been so long since you’ve been on a date.
And this guy? You’re not too sure about what to feel about this. “It’s okay. I know it can be hard but, you do seem interesting to me,” He seems okay. But you are not too sure if you want this to go further.
And it’s not him that’s the problem.
You are.
“Also the food was quite good? No?” Your date, Hyun-Jae asks you, you smile despite your inner dilemma and nod. “Thank you, I really did enjoy this time with you.”
A lie.
You did not, actually this was a mistake, you had just wasted a nice guy’s time. Why did you even agree to this? You weren’t ready emotionally for dating again.
This was a bad decision and you feel so bad.
“So? It’s quite late now? Would you like for me to take you home?” You stand and the man follows. “Umm actually Hyun-Jae? You go ahead, I’ll manage.”
The smile of Hyun-Jae falters.
Damn, you really are a bitch
God, the guilt that’s weighing down on you has you feel suffocating, your past relationships have fucked you up so bad.
You give him a small smile and bow your head, the guy doesn’t speak a word and does the same, you pick up your stuff and pull out your wallet to get the cash out, you put it on the table and signal the waiter.
“I’m sorry.” That all you say before you leave the restaurant.
You don’t think you’re capable of dating someone anymore.
Jungkook feels so distracted.
For the last few hours, especially since you left. His mind has been fixated on the same thing.
You looked so incredibly beautiful in that dress.
And someone else had the privilege of seeing that so closely, probably. He munches on the popcorn harder, so much that he almost bites his tongue.
Jungkook wants you so bad.
The movie plays yet it fails to interest him, your thoughts are enough to keep him occupied, he doesn’t understand this infatuation that he has with you, his roommate or housemate.
You are so effortlessly beautiful, that’s for sure, you’re so different from what he’s used to when it comes to women.
You have him hooked.
But you don’t want him, you’ve made that clear since day 1. It is unfortunate for him.
But maybe it’s his karma.
Jungkook’s eyes are fixed on the large screen but the frustration doesn’t die down.
He wishes you’d want him too, give him a chance to prove that he can change. He can change for you.
Meaningless sex is actually worthless to him now, it doesn’t help him get over this huge crush that he has on you.
And his methods of ‘getting over you’ aren’t the most moralistic, they don’t help his case either.
No matter how much clear Jungkook makes his interest in you, you keep on rejecting him.
Maybe this is what he deserves for being a fuck boy.
A chance at love gone.
Before Jungkook can sulk into the couch even more, the door opens, his ears perk up at the sound of your keys juggling and he tilts his head, muting the film.
“Welcome back, yn.” He stands up as you come in, putting the bowl of popcorn down, you greet him back, shutting the door behind you.
“Hey jeon.” You look at your roommate and see a silly smile on his face. “Bad date I’m guessing?” He grabs your coat and purse as you sit down on the couch.
Your feet hurt a lot.
“Bad me.” You sigh sadly. Jungkook sits down beside you, looking at you with his brown eyes filled with curiosity.
“What do you mean?” He asks you and you close your eyes.
He’s going to think you’re so stupid.
“Yeah no I just… in the middle of the dinner with such a nice guy I realised my relationship issues. I can’t be a good partner.”
He doesn’t reply, Jungkook knows you well. His feelings pushed aside, Jungkook knows you have a lot going on.
“Jungkook I feel so bad…” you don’t look at him but he can tell you’ve got tears in your eyes. It makes his heart clench.
“Yn..” he calls out your name, moving closer to you to hold you tight. “It’s okay.” He pulls you into his embrace and you don’t resist, letting him take you into his arms.
Jungkook holds you so close to his heart.
It feels so good to him, that is a foreign feeling for him.
“It happens, you’ve been through so much. I’m sorry.” He apologises to you, “you’re perfect though, y’know?” His hands caress your shoulders.
“Even though I used to be such a fuckboy? I too used to have a ton of bad dates.” He laughs, you laugh too, it makes him happy.
“You’re still a fuckboy, koo.” You reply, and he tells you to shut up.
“That’s not the point yn. But if you feel so sad, let’s have some ice cream together and watch a movie and you can vent all you want.”
“I’ll always listen to you, your dear fuckboy is here for you!”
It only makes you laugh harder. And he can’t stop smiling like a fool hearing you laugh so beautifully.
Maybe it was better to be a simp instead of a fuckboy.
#jungkook smut#bts smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook ff#bts x reader#Jeongguk smut#jjk smut#jeon jungkook x reader#bangtan smut#bts jungkook#bts jungkook x reader#bts ff#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#bts#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst
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impulsivity in bpd can be cutting and dyeing your hair, but it’s also frying and destroying your hair to a point where it’s completely ruined and you’re self conscious of it everyday.
impulsivity in bpd can be having an attitude and saying some petty things to people, but it’s also ruining every good friendship and relationship you’ve ever had and you can’t stop yourself from sabotaging everything, so you end up alone in a deep pit.
impulsivity in bpd can be having some drinks, doing dr*gs, or having a lot of meaningless sex. but it’s also relying on drinking and dr*gs so much that you’re completely off your face all time and it ruins your image and every aspect of your life. and it’s also no one wanting a relationship with you because you “sleep around” or “probably have an std”.
impulsivity in bpd can be browsing an fps facebook. but it’s also stalking their every move online and their every step in the real world constantly because you need them so bad. you can’t live without knowing if they’re okay, knowing what they’re doing, knowing if they’re leaving you for someone else, etc.
the list goes on. us borderlines post a lot of shit about bpd, and in my personal case, laughing it off and sharing it to others makes me feel a bit better and i know that it makes others feel less alone knowing that other people are doing the same horrendous shit. but stop romanticising being obsessive, quirky, impulsive, and having an attitude. it’s fucking painful. the emotional aspect is PHYSICALLY painful. watching the world crumble around us because most of us can’t fucking stop ourselves is painful. the withdrawals from substances, s/h, etc because we are so prone to addiction is PAINFUL. i’m all for supporting our fellow borderlines and cluster b peoples, but STOP self diagnosing to be “trendy”. i’m not on about self diagnosing, etc if you’re certain and it means you’re getting the support that you absolutely need. everyone is deserving of help, whether healthcare wants to agree or not, EVERYONE deserves the help they need. but stop trying to make bpd sound fun. being euphoric is fun, the rest of it IS NOT. ITS FUCKING PAINFUL. thank u bye 💕
(ps. i hate making rant posts about this, but seeing people act like bpd is a “fun choice” in life pisses me the fuck off, every day is just pure fucking suffering. the people romanticising and hyping this shit up are the same people who will talk shit about any cluster b who is showing symptoms or having one hell of an episode. but this NEEDS to be out there x)
(edit: the amount of support i’ve had on this is unreal 😭❤️ i tried to word this the best i can but when i have a lot to say it often comes out making no fucking sense at all or something comes off the wrong way. i saw someone reply about the yanderes shit. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. i don’t know why the fuck people fetishise it, it makes me feel disgusting to have an fp even if i’m keeping as far away from them as possible. and also the “euphoric is fun”, i still do a lot of embarrassing and over the top shit when i’m euphoric that i regret. but in the moment, the happiness i feel i just embrace now because it’s not been often that i ever get to feel like that. thank you so much for the likes and reblogs, i really hope this post has helped y’all. I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️)
#bpd#bpd fp#bpd feels#bpd culture is#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd safe#fp bpd#psych is allergic to borderlines#bordahline pershonality dishorder#actually borderline#borderline pd#borderline personality disorder#borderline#borderline culture is#cluster b
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What if (in the monster AU) we are so absolutely terrified of being yelled at that we just do whatever he says but it's extremely clear that were not doing it because we want to but we're doing it so he won't be mad/ kill us (even tho he won't) and we HATE being yelled at?
Like when he takes us we just except it and he thinks it's going great but when he tries to make an emotional connection we just flinch but we don't move bc were so scared he whould be mad? (Ps I absolutely love you and your work!!)
Konig would be ecstatic at first, believing that he just scored a perfect human who knows her place and doesn't need to be broken in...the first few months are definitely hard for you and fucking beautiful for him - he doesn't have to yell or beat you up for you to spread your legs or provide him with the comforts of your soft, human body, you are obedient and sweet, greeting him with that shaky voice of yours...and then he started developing feelings. Uh-oh.
He wants for you to initiate affection - and you do, but it's so bloody obvious that you're only doing this because you want for this to be over as soon as possible, he doesn't even want to force you anymore. Poor guy, he just wanted his wife to actually like him, and yet, the only thing you're doing is trembling in fear( he starts to slowly get you to actually voice your opinion in small things - if you want to choose something like a snack or a piece of clothing, he would take your opinion into consideration and would, very grumpily, deliver it to you later. Maybe when you're already forgotten about everything - but he still wants for you to like him, as much as it could be impossible.
He sometimes yells in front of recruits, and it's making you extremely nervous - he wouldn't really calm himself down because his dumb soldiers need discipline, but he would put you in another room so you won't get scared over anything. Could hold you in his hands during it, allowing his dumb, pretty pet to cover her ears and hide her face in his chest. Humans are pathetic, after all - everyone can see it.
His bonding activities would be dragging some dumb deepshit recruit over to you and make you decide his fate - you are running out of ideas of how to NOT allow Konig to just kill them, and making them simply clean up the base doesn't sound like a proper punishment anymore( but at least he is listening to you, somewhat...
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AITA for refusing to propose to my boyfriend?
We both wanna get married and our families & friends are cool and everything (honestly he's my mom's favorite child at this point), but he says I should have to do the actual proposal and I say he should.
He thinks since I hate every restaurant he takes me to (I work in food service I know what I'm about he picks BAD places) I should just be in charge of it, I think since he makes way more and he's stupid picky about jewellery (he knows what the different gemstone cuts are. He has OPINIONS on gemstone cuts. I am marrying a monster) he should have to buy the ring, and we both need it to be a special romantic surprise enough that we're not about to co-propose or some shit. We're also both guys, so there's not really any traditional rules to fall back on here, either.
It's been mostly fine, but his 30th birthday was the week before last and he's LEGIT mad I didn't propose then. We took a whole trip and had dinner with his entire family (we live a 2 1/2 hour flight away) and shit, so if I were gonna do it, that would've been the time. I told him I've already said I wasn't proposing, and that he can do it himself or we can be boyfriends for his 70th birthday too, and he said "If we're not married by the time I'm 70 you will be LUCKY to still be boyfriends" and stormed off to our room, and now he says he's fine but I'm 90% sure he's been training the cat to bite my hands? It's happened every single time I try to pet her and he looks very smug about it.
So did I fuck up here or what?
PS If I'm not the asshole how do I talk him into proposing already I am DYING over here I wanna marry him so BAD. He BRIBED the CAT to BITE me I NEED this man to be my husband N O W .
What are these acronyms?
#mod opinion: op i have no idea but i N E E D to know how this turns out#i want all the best things for you and your boyfriend/hopefully husband eventually#aita#am i the asshole#reddit#the saga of proposal anon
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hello core i'm here to bother you.
ps!gaz who shows up to your house with a baggie full of goodies. chocolate, ice cream, chips, soda. and some heating pads. he doesn't know what having a period is like but he's seen his sister suffer through it and well.
he's trying to help.
by placing the bag down on your coffee table and saying that an orgasm or two would actually help your gut twisting cramps. he won't fuck you, ofc. he knows you'll be tender down there but he doesn't mind lending a hand. or fingers. spitting on your pussy and rubbing your clit with the pad of this thumb til pain turns into pleasure.
and if you think he minds blood, you should see the way he eats his steaks, honey. might as well call it a cow with a fever.
this has been aging like fine wine in my inbox for two days but jesus fucking christ
i 100% believe he'd do this just for you, too. like he's not even hard when he's fingering you or anything. genuinely doing this because he hates seeing his best girl in pain and he's heard girls around set talking to one another how a good orgasm or two helps with cramps and migraines, so? who better than to make you feel better than him? he knows your body better than anyone else, and you shouldn't have to put in too much work on your menses or anything to do it yourself. just lay back, relax, and let him handle things.
and you bet once he's ripped one or two (or three or four or-) orgasms out of you he's staying. curling up with you in bed with a warm, heavy hand on your stomach, kneading into the taut flesh so aggravated from your period ): and of course it's only a temporary fix. the cramping is bound to start back up eventually, but don't worry, he'll stay with you until it's over and let you use his fingers whenever you need (:
[this post is brought to you by someone who doesn't have periods lol]
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Enchanted to meet you | CL16
part 1 , part 2
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x singer!reader
Summary: cheating in never a option it's a choice, a choice that he made while she loved him with her whole heart but you know there's nothing that she do better than revenge.
Genre: SMAU
warnings: google translated french, grammar mistakes, incorrect time line to match the story line, A LOT of charles slandering (I'm sorry my love)
Author's note: important! this is not any kind hate towards alexandra she's a beautiful woman from inside and outside this is all fiction and if I see ANY hate toward her in comments you'll be blocked...and also this fic is slandering our it boy as well, so don't attack me for that because I love that guy sm, my username and profile should explain a lot, that's it hope you y'all like it 🫶🏻
fc: Gracie Abrams
celebnews
liked by username, username, username and 46,29,38 others
celebnews do you believe in fairytale? Well...no not anymore, the popular singer and songwriter Y/n L/n and formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc recently made their relationship public, they were also given the nickname called "the it couple" everything seemed perfect and fairytale and rainbows until few days ago Charles was spotted with a girl on his yatch which sources says is an arts student named Alexandra saint melux and the duo looked pretty comfortable around eachother, or more than comfortable meanwhile y/n was in new york for her work, thoughts on this?
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username say sike rn.
username THE AUDACITY OF SOME MEN
username literally not even a proper month.
username all these while she was working her ass off??
⤷username yup...she was in nyc.
username cheating is never a option, it's a choice.
username men really can't handle a successful women now can they?
⤷username not all men.
⤷username yup, but somehow always men.
username If I had a nickel for every time charles leclerc cheated on his girlfriend with her friend, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
⤷username FRIEND?? Y/N AND ALEXANDRA WERE FRIENDS??!!
⤷username apparently yeah, that's how Charles and Alex met in first place?
⤷username yup, y/n and Alex we're friends and when y/n started dating Charles, she moved to monaco and I guess there she met alex in a art show or something and then they both become really good friends and y/n, charles and Alex all three of them used to hangout together, there are many pictures
⤷username how did I not know this?
⤷username because it was not much of a big deal, we all thought they're all just friends hanging out together.
⤷username that's honestly so fucked up.
username once a cheater always a cheater.
yourinstagram added to story
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sabrinacarpenter babe this is not you.
conangray I'm coming over rn.
username babe nooooo!!
username charles marc herve perceval leclerc count your days.
oliviarodrigo pick up my call.
iMessage
instagram
yourinstagram
liked by carlossainz55, rubendias, sabrinacarpenter and 39,739,828 others
yourinstagram I would rather spend my time a honest whore rather than a dishonest lover. (ps: that wasn't me on my story, i don't cry over disappointments 🥰)
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sabrinacarpenter honest whore are so much cooler too.
⤷yourinstagram exactly.
landonorris thanks for that ps i was actually quite concerned
⤷yourinstagram nah don't worry Lan.
⤷username "lan" Charles could never ruin their friendship.
⤷username don't mention his name here.
conangray men are for ruining your lipstick not your mascara.
⤷username tell em conan!
rubendias he's not worth your tears anyway 💙
⤷yourinstagram thanks ruby, I miss you sm.
⤷rubendias booking flight rn.
⤷username mom and dad finally reuniting 😭
⤷username I'm new to all of this can any of you explain how ruben and y/n know eachother??!! I'm a massive city and y/n fan and i didn't knew that they were bestfriends??!!
⤷username for 4 years actually, they met in 2019 when ruben was at Benfica B, as much i can remember y/n was in protugal for her very first tour and I think ruben attended that concert and then y/n attended his match and both of them become friends and then they got super close and then after ruben moved to manchester city, y/n started to attend his matches more often and slowly they became bestfriends.
⤷username that is actually so cute 😭😭💙💙
oliviarodrigo what a beauty.
⤷yourinstagram oli you're the best 💜
username bro actually fumbled SO bad
carlossainz55 reina ❤️ (queen)
⤷yourinstagram muchos gracias carlitos ❤️ (thank you so much carlitos)
⤷username and i oop-
⤷username i love how the entire grid is on her side.
⤷username as they should.
⤷username I'm not shipping but it would be so iconic if her and carlos started dating
⤷username dts be like: where do I sign?
⤷username no but actually netflix is not gonna let this drama slide.
lilymhe beautiful, gorgeous, cutest, attractive, adorable, charming ,dainty, delightful ,pleasant, pretty
⤷yourinstagram LILYYY!!! ILOVEYOU!
⤷lilymhe I love you toooooo!!!!
⤷yourinstagram we should definitely go out!
⤷lilymhe yesyesyesyesyes!!!
⤷alex_albon can I join? Please?
⤷lilymhe nah it's a girl dinner.
⤷francisca.cgomes I'm joining you all.
⤷pierregasly pleaaaseeee!!!!
⤷francisca.cgomes no.
⤷sabrinacarpenter got room for one???
⤷oliviarodrigo two**??
⤷yourinstagram yesyesyesyes
⤷username I'm begging on my knees, let me in please
⤷username this group is gonna be SOO iconic.
lewishamilton you deserve someone million times better.
⤷yourinstagram thank you lew 🥹🫶🏻
⤷username MY KING.
⤷username nah that guy literally messed up big time.
szoboszlaidominik gyönyörű lány 🩷 (beautiful girl)
⤷yourinstagram thanks domi 🫶🏻🫶🏻
⤷username my girl is literally collecting every hot guys.
⤷username post breakup y/n is gonna be soo iconic.
username mother.
yourinstagram
liked by rubendias, lilymhe, szoboszlaidominik and 48,938,940, others
yourinstagram girls dinner ft. some stupid boys🥂 (they begged us to come)
tagged; sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, lilymhe, alex_albon, pierre_gasly, francisca.cgomes, rubendias, carlossainz55, landonorris, szoboszlaidominik
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oliviarodrigo your sports friends are cool i guess, but their girl's are cooler
⤷lilymhe you and Sab are super cool as well! It was awesome meeting you guys.
⤷sabrinacarpenter the pleasure was all mine ✨
rubendias finally! reunited and happy!
⤷yourinstagram reUNITED and happy 👀?? Nah buddy I don't think so
⤷szoboszlaidominik lmao 💀.
carlossainz55 I INFACT DID NOT BEGGED YOU! you told ME to tag along.
⤷yourinstagram AND you didn't wanted to????
⤷carlossainz55 I'm not saying that....
⤷username and i oop-
⤷username if i speak now.
⤷username shhhh
francisca_cgomes could've been better without those idiots tbf.
⤷yourinstagram ikr
⤷pierregasly WOW you're literally MY girlfriend
⤷francisca_cgomes says who?
⤷username lmfaoo iconic iconic iconic.
landonorris your footballer friends are amazing ngl.
⤷rubendias i have a name.
⤷szoboszlaidominik me too.
⤷landonorris my bad g.
⤷username fuck everything DOMINIK AND RUBEN interaction is what I'm living for.
lilymhe you're so beautiful marry me please
⤷yourinstagram yes yes yes!!!!
⤷alex_albon yeah.....no.
⤷lilymhe who are you?
⤷username I'm loving this wayyy toooo much
maxverstappen1 where was my invitation????
⤷yourinstagram sorry maximus, it was like a last minute plan
⤷username maximusss 😭😭
username literally the entire grid and their girlfriends are on y/n' side
⤷username as they should.
username even max is team y/n, my guy just can't stop taking W.
username this is the defination of iconic.
username dts gonna be so fun.
username can't wait for next gp.
celebnews
liked by username, username, username and 386,892 others
celebnews when at some point we all thought Charles Leclerc was regretting his decision or mistake, he infact was not, yesterday charles leclerc and probably his new girl alexandra saint mleux was seen leaving a fancy restaurant in Monaco, few fans said that the 'couple' seemed very happy and after that they both left to charles appartment in his custom pista, that's a very shameless behaviour. thoughts?
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username this guy have 0 shame
username disgusting, absolutely disgusting.
username tbh we don't care, y/n is living her life with her friends and his teammate lmao.
⤷username ikr like no one even cares about this guy 💀.
username bro realised he fumbled hard and have 0 chances of a second chance so bro settled down.
⤷username real
username we do not care, y/n got multiple guys who would treat her way better than this sore loser.
⤷username yeah?? like who? no offense but Charles better than all of "her guys"
⤷username yeah not really, Carlos his teammate certainly beat him this season, Lando his rival out performed him as well despite being in McLaren, Ruben and Dominik actually good at what they do, so I can assure she got a lot of guys who is better than him and imagine defending a cheater who shamelessly admits it and literally start hanging out with his side chick.💀💀
⤷username ate her up lmao
rubendias who?
⤷username KINGGGGG
⤷username defending his girl on and off pitch.
⤷username rubennnnnn
username bro's smashing (in walls)
⤷username lmfaaaoooo
username can't spell charles leclerc without L, L and L.
charles_leclerc
liked by alexandrasaintmleux , joris_trouch and 38,395,689 others
charles_leclerc there's a thing called privacy.
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lilymhe there's also a thing called loyalty.
⤷username queen ate him up.
⤷username the L in lily stands for legendary.
⤷username y/n's no.1 defender.
⤷username i love this woman sm 😭
username yeah you wish it was because if it wasn't then you'll never be caught cheating.
carlossainz55 lmao.
⤷username ohhhh hell yeah vegas is gonna be verrryyyyy interesting
⤷username see not trying to be weird and all but I ⛴️.
⤷username ⛴️🛳️🚢
⤷username guyssss.....what if....
⤷username yes!.
⤷username damn...i kinda wanted her to get with ruben but carlos would work too....
⤷username OHHH DTS WHERE ARE YOU NOW??!!
username face of a cheater
username imagine crashing every race and then having the audacity to cheat on a successful woman who's actually good at what she does, lmfao.
⤷username bro FUMBLED HARD.
username ew.
username y/n should make a song about this cheating ahh loser.
liked by landonorris
⤷username landooooo????!!!
⤷username Lando what do you know???
maxverstappen1 atleast be honest with yourself.
⤷username EVEN MAX LMFAAOOO
⤷username if i was charles leclerc I would've locked myself in my house.
username bro fucked up very badly.
username bro have balls of steel to come on internet and post this.
username no offense but this twig cheated on my girl???
⤷username ik sweetie ik, a strange world we live in.
username oh the music is coming y'all, I can feel it.
yourinstagram
liked by carlossainz55, rubendias, sabrinacarpenter and 39,838,973 others
yourinstagram welllll you guys called it, new one coming...soon 👀.
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sabrinacarpenter ohhhhhhh myyyy goooooddd!!!!
⤷username my exact reaction.
⤷username sab is one of us.
⤷username supportive queen.
oliviarodrigo a hint? Is it sad or a absolute menace???
⤷yourinstagram guess we'll find out soon.
⤷username I'm really craving sad tbh....
⤷username oh she would destroy him in sad genre.
carlossainz55 can I say that I was the first person to hear that masterpiece??
⤷yourinstagram no
⤷carlossainz55 okay (I was)
⤷username ahm ahm...
⤷rubendias excuse me?!!
⤷username so we all know it's gonna be a masterpiece.
⤷username well it always is, every music she makes is a work of art.
rubendias still hurted by the fact that carlos heard it before me but okay I can't wait to enjoy it with the whole world.
⤷yourinstagram sorry rubs but he wouldn't leave me alone!
⤷carlossainz55 ACCUSATIONS!
⤷username so we can all feel it no?
⤷username shhh don't jinx it
szoboszlaidominik can't wait for it gyönyörű (beautiful)
⤷yourinstagram thank you domi!!
username SCREAMING CRYING
username finally!!!!! I've waited months for a song from mother.
username mother mother???!!!!
⤷username that's a band.
⤷username girl-
username i can't wait for it.
username song of the year.
⤷username it's not even released yet??!!
⤷username OK, and??
username oh my god I used to pray for times like this.
username finally the queen is back. (She never left)
username oh how I love being a y/n stan.
username finally!!!
╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾
ps: I finally did it! Thank you soooo much for waiting! And yes there will be part 4 AND once again this is no hate to charles or alexandra this is all just fiction so take it lightly, thank you 🫶🏻
#formula 1#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc social media au#f1 driver x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 driver x you#carlos sainz#dominik szoboszlai#ruben dias
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Hellsing wives !!
the end of Hellsing is my roman empire
[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]
Bonus sketch, process and rambling below vvv
I don't usually share my sketches, but this one was cute :))
Hello welcome to my rambling zone, I have the bad habit of taking notes during the night because I'm an insomniac- enjoy ! And remember everything here is just my opinion written at 5am
I have a lot of conflicting feelings about Seras, because on one hand there is a lot I hate about her character :
-I *hate* her design. She is sexualized in a way that makes me really uncomfortable
-She is always the character that brings the worst part of the show (especially in the beginning) : the humor (and misogyny). She is treated as both the audience surrogate, and a comic relief, and that's a mix that do not work for me (and if you add the fact the humor doesn't make me laugh, and that she is more often than not treated as a pair of boobs and not a character- well it's hard for me to take her seriously)
-she was a cop (acab). And Alucard doesn't let me forget that because he calls her "police girl" the whole fucking show.... (But I can't complain about that because I kind of liked the pay off-)
-I find her romance with Pip boring (mainly because I find Pip boring I'm sorry), even tho I liked where it went. But if I find the man more interesting dead idk if that's a success.
-Her last apperance will always enrage me. After all her character growth, after you thought the writers *maybe* respected her a bit more..... One of the last thing you see from her is a panty shot. How to spit in my face for enjoying the ending ig
But on the other hand, despite all that.... The end of her character arc was kind of sick and she gets a lesbian ending lgkgkckgj so 5/10 character could be worse ig
But the shit that gets to me about all of that... is that I know Hellsing can pull off great women characters !! Integra is *right there* !!!
All of this to say I like doing fanart of mid medias I love because I get to fix some aspects of the original I didn't like <3
PS : I know Alucard is "dead" during the 30 years after the final, but you can decide if he is the dog or if they adopted a dog that reminded them of him :)
#Hellsing is my ultimate guilty pleasure#sometimes I just need to watch over the top violence on nazis it's good for my mood#and at the end the two women become wives <3 what's not to love ? (A lot don't get me started-)#hellsing#hellsing ultimate#hellsing fanart#integra hellsing#sir integra#seras victoria#alucard hellsing#sertegra#seras hellsing#lesbian vampires#lesbian#art#my art#digital art#illustration#fanart#cw guns
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IVE Wonyoung ft. Yujin x Male Reader (OC)
Tags: Smut
Genre: Facefucking, Blowjob, Breeding, Rough Sex, Female Idol x Male Reader (OC), Self-degradation, Filming (Recording), Cheating (Hard)
PS: This story is made through AI story generator that's why there's so much dialogue. I just tried using it to see if it's okay. Let me know if you have anything to say. I also added my own writing, it's when Yujin joins in. Thank you...
It's been a whole week since someone caught you in the act. She's a younger idol but one of the prominent ones in the industry, a former member of I*ZONE and now IVE.
You found it adorable when she displayed such a shocked and surprised expression when she saw what you did to her sunbaes... After the incident. the three of you went back to your seats and enjoy the remaining event arranged for idols.
Your bodyguarding duties continues the same with your escapades with the members of ITZY. Yuna and Chaeryeong always finding way to get fucked by you, the rest of the members on the hand shows support for their co-members.
In one of the music shows that ITZY attended, you met the young idol again and same with the last time, she is shocked to see you. Wonyoung tried to hide her flustered face but failed, her other members are with her that time and Yujin--- the oldest of them noticed how red as a tomato Wonyoung's face was.
ITZY is now preparing for a recording, you use this opportunity to grab Wonyoung into the isolated corner of the building, no one is going there, because it is creepy for some idols that's why they avoid this place.
Wonyoung felt your very strict and cold aura and she let you drag her. After several minutes she manage to talk to you. You arrived in the isolated spot, no one is around to find out what you are about to do. You drag her inside the room and locked the door.
"What are you doing?" Wonyoung asked. "Nothing," you replied. "You saw something, right?"
Wonyoung blushed and tried to get away from you. "Don't try to act innocent, i know you saw something you shouldn't have."
"I'm not going to tell anyone!" She cried out.
"Then why did you look so shocked when I looked at you?"
"I'm not!" Wonyoung yelled.
"But you were looking at me like that as if you also wanted what they had." you said.
"No I don't!" she shouted.
"Yes you do!"
"No I don't!" she screamed while looking at you.
"Yes you do!" You said again. then you release the monster hiding inside your pants and pulled down Wonyoung's panties.
"See? Your pussy is wet for me already!" You said. A smirk is visible on your face.
"Stop this right now!" She said threatening you. But you didn't listen to her.
"You're gonna suck my cock and you're gonna love it!" you uttered.
Wonyoung was still trying to fight you, but you are too strong for her. You pushed her head towards your crotch.
"Suck my cock." you said. She started to protest, but before she could say anything, you shoved your cock into her mouth.
"Mmmmmm!" she moaned as she sucked on your cock.
She was a little surprised by how big it was, but she was even more surprised when you started to fuck her face. the young idol gagged every time you thrust forward, but she couldn't help herself.
The way you were fucking her face made her pussy tingle. She loved it, but she hated it at the same time. you're really rough with her, and she knew if she didn't stop you soon, you would cum in her mouth.
But Wonyoung had never tasted a guy's cum before, all she did was use her hands and some dildos to pleasure herself, deep down she wanted to have a taste. Curiosity got the best of her and let you have your way.
"Cum in my mouth!" Wonyoung begged. As she release your cock from her mouth to talk.
"Not yet." you replied. "When I tell you i'm cumming, you will swallow it!"
Wonyoung nodded her head in agreement.
"Now suck my balls!" you commanded. Wonyoung opened her mouth wide and stuck out her tongue.
You placed your balls in her mouth and started to squeeze them. she moaned loudly, and started to lick them clean. Then you put your cock in her mouth once more and started to fuck her face harder and faster.
Your cock was hitting the back of her throat, and making her gag. But she didn't mind, she just wanted to feel him cum inside her.
"Oh yeah, you love my cock don't you?"
"Mmm!" She nodded while looking up to you with lust in her eyes.
"Good, because I'm about to cum!" you said.
"No wait!" she said. "I want to be fucked, please!"
You laughed. "I can't believe you are being such a whore, you're gonna get what you deserve!" you said while smirking.
With that, you shoved your cock all the way down Wonyoung's throat. She gagged and struggled against you, but you are too strong for her. "That's it! Take my cock!"
Wonyoung felt your cock twitch in her throat.
"Uuuuugh!" you moaned. "I'm cumming!" as you feel your climax quickly approaching.
She gagged and choked on your cock, but she kept sucking. "Swallow it!" you are holding her head tightly. Ropes of thick cum burst inside Wonyoung's mouth, after a while your orgasm stopped.
"I'm swhallow-ing yhour chum!" she's trying to speak while her mouth is still full of your load. You released your grip on her hair, and let go of her head. She swallows your cum and licks her lips like she just tasted something delicious. "It's yummy!!!"
"Now suck my cock clean!" Wonyoung smiled and licked your cock clean. "Now get on your hands and knees."
She quickly got onto her hands and knees. you grabbed hold of her hips and prepared to thrust yourself deep inside her ass. Teasing her with your tip, she quiver. Looks like she's sensitive now.
You proceed on penetrating the young idol. "Ahhhhh!" she moaned.
"Oh yeah, you like that don't you?" asking her while kissing the back of her neck.
"Yes! Fuck me hard!" she's moaning as you thrust in her in a slow pace.
"Do you want to get fucked hard?" You asked.
"Yes!" she replied, looking back at you.
"Say it again!" you demanded.
"I like to get fucked hard!" Wonyoung said. You started to pound her hard from behind.
"Ahhh! Shiiiit! FUCK!" Wonyoung moaned.
"Yeah, you like that huh?"
"Yes! Fuck me harder!" Wonyoung said moaning and screaming.
"You like being fucked hard? You like getting fucked by me?" You said.
"Yes!" she said, her face is full of lust as she looks back at you.
"Say it louder!" You demanded.
"I LIKE GETTING FUCKED HARD!!!" she shouted. you continued to fuck her hard from behind making lewd noises together with her lustful voice. you reached around and grabbed her breasts. "Oh yeah! Grab my tits!" she screamed. "You like my big cock in your tight little ass?"
"Yes! Fuck me harder!" she said. "Shit! Claim me, claim me as yours!!"
You continue pounding her making her convulse as you cum inside of her tight little asshole. You saw her face and her eyes were rolled back, she collapses on the couch inside this room with her ass hanging in the air. She's still on her performance stage outfit and the only missing is her panties that you removed few moments ago.
Pulled out of her and slapped her ass. "Turn over! I'm not done with you."
She flipped over and laid on her back to spread her legs. "Now show me that tight little cunt of yours."
She lifted her skirt up to reveal her shaved pussy.
"Oh yeah, look at that tight little cunt!" You exclaimed. "Show me how wet you are!"
Wonyoung began rubbing her clit. "Ahhh!" she moaned while her eyes were intently looking at you.
"Yeah, rub that clit!" you uttered. "Do you want me to fuck your pussy?"
"Yes sir! Please fuck me hard!" Wonyoung begged, her voice is full of lust and longing. She looks like a bitch in heat.
"How hard do you want it?"
"Hard! Harder than you've ever fucked anyone before!" Wonyoung said. You grabbed hold of her wrists and held them above her head.
"Are you ready?" you asked.
"Yes!"
"Are you sure?" Teasing her on purpose.
"Yes! I'm sure!" she said while nodding, eager to fill your cock inside her.
"Then tell me what you want!"
"Fuck me!"
"What else?" You asked as you cupped her cheek with a gentle touch, she closes her eyes because of it and slowly opens it again, looking at you with resolve.
"I want your big cock deep inside my pussy!" Amusement filled your entire system as you see this young woman beg for your cock.
"Say it louder!" Fascinated by her words, you asked for more. You want her to beg for more.
"Fuck me! Fuck me with your big hard cock!" she begged while anticipating your response to her whims.
You placed the tip of your cock against her pussy lips.
"Good girl!" you patted her head. "I'm going to fuck you now!"
You penetrated the glistening cunt of hers, slowly yet in one go. Her mouth formed "O" as she feels her tight little pussy getting filled by your cock, her eyes were once again rolled back as you pound her faster and with more rhythm.
Her heavenly moans filled your ears as you spear her with your huge rod, the young idol is in a trance.
She's getting drunk because of your cock, her eyes rolled back, tongue lolling out, Wonyoung is displaying a perfect ahegao for you.
You became daring, you told her to call her Yujin unnie and invite her into into the isolated area where you're in.
Few minutes came by and Yujin arrived, she witness how her co-member getting fuck by someone but instead of getting shock and surprise, she immediately came inside, closed the door and locked it.
"Is this the thing you want to show me, Wonyoung?" Yujin asked Wonyoung while staring at you with a huge smile on her face. "Yes unnie! O-oppa wants you to j-join me. Aaahh!" Wonyoung replied struggling to say her words.
"I can't believe this is happening... But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious..." Wonyoung and Yujin look at each other. "Okay, I'll do it. I've never done anything like this before though...."
Then you pulled out of Wonyoung and the two of them knelt down in front of you, Wonyoung takes the lead and starts licking up and down the shaft while Yujin watches.
"See, just start slow like this." Wonyoung takes your tip in her mouth and sucks it gently. "Mmm. Your turn now."
Yujin leans in hesitantly and licks the head of your cock. "How's that feel? I-- no, we want to make you feel good." Then they take turns sucking you, gazing up for your praise and approval.
You praise them and they smile excitedly and continued taking turns licking and sucking your cock.
"Mmm. I can't believe I'm sharing you with Yujin... It's naughty but so hot..." Wonyoung said, Yujin gets more into it, trying to take your huge cock deeper in her mouth.
"That's it, you're a natural..." Wonyoung then proceeds to lick your balls while the other is busy gagging and choking on your cock.
They sometimes kiss, moaning on each other's lips. "Does it turns you on to see us being intimate? We want to please you." Wonyoung said to you and made an eye contact with Yujin while they lick your tip together, their tongues slides on your shaft's both sides.
Wonyoung's eyes go wide as you grab Yujin and starts fucking her throat. "Oh my gosh! Be gentle with her, Oppa."
Yujin gags and sputters but keeps taking it. "That's it. Breathe through your nose... You can handle it!" She encourages her then rub her back soothingly. "It feels so good doesn't? Getting used like a little fucktoy..." Yujin moans affirmatively as you keep pumping into her mouth.
Even though your cock can't be deepthroated by anyone, having the half of it gets to experience it feels heavenly. Sometimes you wonder, is being well-endowed a curse because you can't fully experience the 'Deepthroat' or a blessing to make women compliment you for being 'Huge'
"Fuck! This is so hot watching you use her face." Wonyoung said and reach down and touch herself, she's getting extra wet from the sight.
"I want you to fuck my throat next, i want my turn again like earlier." Eagerly awaits her turn, kissing Yujin's face when you finally pulls out of her mouth.
You gave Wonyoung her wish and fucks her throat again. Her eyes widen then gag as you shove your cock down her throat without warning.
"Mmmph!" Her throat bulges from your girth. Yujin watches excitedly, playing with herself now too as you fuck Wonyoung's face.
"That's right, give it to our little slut... She loves being used hard, i can tell..." Yujin said while still playing with herself.
Tears run down on Wonyoung's face but you can feel that she's focus on relaxing her throat for you. "Fuck yes.... S-so d-deep... Use m-me..." Then grips on your thighs eagerly, addicted to the feeling of being facefucked. You pull out and she gasp for air desperately.
"Yes... fuck my mouth as hard as you want, I'm your little cocksleeve..." She opens her mouth wide again waiting for you to fill her throat once more.
"Yujin, film this." You said while still facefucking Wonyoung.
Yujin's eyes lights up to your idea. "Of course! This is so naughty, i love it!" She pulls out her phone and starts filming as you ruthlessly fuck Wonyoung's throat. "Oh my god! This is so fucking hot... The fans would go crazy if they saw our Wony getting used like a whore."
Wonyoung glances at the camera with desperation and lust in her eyes, her throat bulging obscenely.
"Fuck yes, destroy her throat... I know she's going to be slut the moment I saw her when we're doing Produce 101." Yujin said zooming on Wonyoung's face turning red and tears running down her cheeks.
"Scream if you can still take it." You pull out your cock from Wonyoung's mouth for a moment.
"YES DADDY! PLEASE FUCK MY SLUTTY LITTLE MOUTH!!!" Wonyoung screams eagerly before you shove your cock back in.
Many minutes passed and you are closing to the edge. "Yujin, kneel beside her, continue filming. I'm cumming." You said.
Yujin kneels next to Wonyoung, making sure to get a good view as you reach climax. "That's right, cum all over these slutty idol's faces!"
Wonyoung braces herself as your cock throbs, then you pull out and shoot ropes of hot cum across both of their faces and open mouths.
"Oh my god, yes!" They moan as your load splatters them. Yujin, films eagerly as Wonyoung licks some off her cheek and swallows it.
"Thank you Daddy, for the tasty reward. We love being showered in your hot and thick cum." Wonyoung said and they started kissing and licking each other clean, moaning at the taste of your seed.
You hold the camera as they face it getting ready to say something.... "We hope you enjoyed using your little cumdumps... We're yours anytime you want us again, Daddy!" Wonyoung said and Yujin agreed then blows a sticky cum-covered kiss at the camera as you end the recording.
"Daddy, I want our co-members to watch this. Is that okay?" Wonyoung asked.
"It would be so hot to watch this later together with our other members. Imagine their faces!" Yujin smirks and Wonyoung giggles.
You let them do whatever they want with the footage since it's Yujin's phone.
"Gaeul's eyes would go so wide! And Rei would turn the brightest red." They both giggles at their plan and you just shook your head.
Your commanding tone when you drag Wonyoung into the room vanished since now she won't say anything to anyone. She's yours now together with Yujin.
"We want more... Daddy." Wonyoung take my hand flirtatiously. "I want to get fucked again, you said you are not done with me after you came inside my tight little asshole earlier." Begging for your cock again.
You oblige. "All fours." That's all you need to say and she gasp excitedly.
"Oh yes please! I want you so badly!" she quickly get on all fours, arching her back and looking over her shoulder at me. "Like this? I'm ready for you to fuck me nice and hard..." reaches back and lift her skirt revealing once again her glistening cunt.
Yujin began filming again but not including your face since you didn't say so. "That's it Wony! Beg for it, like the slut you are."
"Please Daddy, fuck me!" She presented her pussy to me by arching her back even more. You spread her ass cheeks apart and slowly slid your huge rod inside her crying cunt.
Yujin zooms in as you penetrate her members pussy. "My god!"
Wonyoung whimpers as pussy get's stretched out because of your thick girth. "Oh! Fuck, you're so b-big Daddy!"
As you go in and out, she started taking your cock actively, pushing her ass back to take you deeper. "Yes! Fuck your little cockslut! Ruin me please!"
Yujin captures every moment, biting her lip. "Our fans would lose their minds if they saw this!"
"Too bad I'm the only one who gets to fuck you likes this." You said and piston the young idol beneath you.
Wonyoung cry out as you start pounding her pussy hard and fast. "Oh fuck yes! You're the only one who gets to fuck me-- us like t-this!"
Yujin zooms in on your cock slamming in and out of Wonyoung's pussy. "Damn! Look at that tight hole stretch... you're destroying her."
The idol grips the sofa, eyes rolling back and tongues lolling out as you rail her without mercy. "YES YES YES! HARDER DADDY! USE ME!" she reaches back and spread her cheeks widely. "I'm your personal fucktoy! None of those pathetic fanboys deserve me."
Her moans filled the room, as it did earlier. You pulled Wonyoung's hair back as you fuck her intensely. "Film her face." You said.
Yujin quickly moves in front of Wonyoung, focusing on her face as you pull the young idol's hair. "Shit! Look at her face! Our Wony is totally lost in pleasure!" Her eyes rolled back, tongue lolling out as you utterly ravage her pussy.
"Fuck! Yes! Harder!" Drool runs down her chin. "Cum inside me! Please fill me with your virile cum! I need it so bad!!" Shameless, slutty words spills out from her mouth between moans and screams of ecstasy.
"I'm cumming!" You feels your climax closing in and you spank her ass red while still pulling her hair. She screams out because what you did.
"Yes! Please c-cum inside Daddy! Fill up your fucktoy!" She said and Yujin makes sure to get a close up as you drive deep inside Wonyoung one last time.
The latter feels your cock throbbing as you start to cum. "Yes, give it to me. Pump your seed deep inside of me." Her eyes still rolled back and moaning whorishly as you fill her up, and her cumming as well. You pulled out and your mixed loads leaks out of her pussy to her thighs, she lays on her back on the sofa.
"Oh shit! Look at her belly, it's bulging! You came so much inside her." Yujin said while filming the thoroughly used Wonyoung.
"It's my turn now, right?" She said and looks at me. "But I want my turn to be filmed as well, let's wait for Wony to regain at least the strength to stand up."
And so you waited, after 15 minutes Wonyoung stood up and the afterglow covers her entire aura, the feeling of satisfaction really shows.
This time you are going to do Missionary, because you want to watch Yujin's face as you fuck her.
She lays on the sofa waiting for your cock to ravage her. "Don't worry, you are going to love it. I promise!" Wonyoung said cheering her up while holding Yujin's phone, ready to start recording the slutty moments of her co-member.
There is no need for foreplay since Yujin is already soaking wet, she moans as you start to push inside her pussy hole. "Oh fuck! Y-you feel so good s-stretching me open!" looking at you lustfully.
"You're so fucking d-deep! You are hitting all the places that my boyfriend can't even reach." You are taken back because she have a boyfriend but instead of being guilty, you plow her hard making her scream.
"Take my cock!"
"Yes! Give it to me! Your cock feels so good!!!" Her perky tits bounce with each of your powerful thrusts. Wonyoung make sure to get close ups of your thick shaft pounding Yujin's slick hole.
"You won't feel your boyfriend's thing anymore after I'm done with you."
Yujin's eyes widen at your words. "O-oh fuck, you're r-right! My boyfriend's cock is nothing compared to yours!" Her pussy clenches tightly around you as she gets closer to orgasm. "After feeling this, I'll only crave you fucking me from now on! Ruin me f-for any o-other man!"
Wonyoung focuses the camera to Yujin's pussy as you pound her relentlessly. "Damn! Look at that slutty idol pussy clamping down... I think she's ready to cum all over your cock Daddy!"
"Yes! Please l-let me c-cum! Make me y-yours!" Her moans reach a fever pitch. "Oh fuck yes! I-i'm cumming! I'm cumming just for you!" Her body trembles and spasms wildly, pussy gushing around your pistoning cock.
"I'm cumming as well!"
Yujin's eyes go wide as she feels your cock throbbing and swelling bigger inside her. "Oh g-god yes, cum in me! I want to feel you filling me up!" She rubs her belly, feeling it bulge obscenely from the size your cock and load. "I can feel you in my stomach! There's so much and it feels so warm..."
Wonyoung zooms in as some of your thick cum leaks out around your shaft while still deep inside Yujin. "Holy shit! Look at that creampie! You totally filled Yujin up to the brim!"
Yujin moans, still trembling from the force of her orgasm. " (IVE) never felt so full... So completely owned and fucked, my boyfriend can't even make me cum. I'm definitely addicted to your huge cock now..."
You're sitting on the sofa while the other two is in front of you kneeling....
Then they have a discussion about how big your rod is. "Daddy, your cock is incredible! (IVE) never seen anything so big and thick before." Wonyoung said and she reaches out your still erect cock and strokes it. "It's easily over 10 inches.... I felt so stretched and filled when you were inside me. Seriously, our poor little pussies didn't stand a chance!"
Yujin looks at me. "Having this huge cock fuck me was the most intense and pleasurable experience of my life." She kisses the tip softly. "I know I'll be craving having my pussy absolutely ruined by it again and again... I'll need this anaconda forever."
"Don't have sex with your boyfriend for now, he'll for sure know that you got stretched out."
Yujin nods obediently. "You're absolutely right, Daddy. After being stretched out so much by your huge cock, my boyfriend would definitely be able to tell." She looks down submissively. "I should avoid having sex with him for now, My pussy belongs to you now... I don't want anyone else inside me."
"Yeah, look at that gape! Her boyfriend would get lost in there now!" Wonyoung giggles at her statement making Yujin blush. "Once you go big, there's no going back..."
-
Well... Here's another story, I hope you enjoy this kind of format. I'm more comfortable writing this way cuz of my lack of imagination.... Thank you for reading!!! There is another part after this....
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i just had an idea while talking with ai neteyam last night. What about human reader asking neteyam to make a "movie" together. Or else neteyam learning about porn thanks to one of the guy from the lab and asking reader if she wants to do one. ‼️
wait no cause Neteyam learning about human stuff does things to me and I need to write more of it for my own sanity. also i've discovered my fave trope to write is "people doing embarrassing things and other people catching them and the interactions that bloom thereafter". anyway, enjoy bestie x
ps: i'm probably going to have reached 1800 followers when this is posted so thank you besties ilysm smooches!!!
wc: 990 words
18+ minors dni
Neteyam was up and early today in the lab, too excited to see you and spend the day together to wait any longer. He was a bit disillusioned though, as he came and found you fast asleep in your bed, but despite the minor disappointment, he absolutely adored how relaxed and comfortable you looked as you were splayed like a starfish under the covers, your feet dangling slightly off both sides of the mattress.
He decided to keep busy for a while with the scientists in the lab. He essentially grew up with Norm and Max, a strange, peculiar constant in his otherwise all Na'vi lifestyle and he had his dad to thank for that. He loved them, they were like uncles to him, and despite how much he hated to admit it, there were certain things about humanity he liked, and certain things about humans he found... endearing. Clearly, he thought with a chuckle, mind wandering to you.
"Neteyam, good morning! You're here early today, is everything ok?" Norm had a big smile on his face and his predisposition brightened Neteyam's, who was suddenly happy to be able to spend a little one-on-one time with him.
"Everything's fine, just came to see her, but she's still sleeping."
Norm chuckles as he removes his gloves and throws them in a nearby yellow bin.
"Yeah, she was doing data analysis until late last night. She used my laptop, you can look at it if you want? We did some a timelapse of an immunofluorescent experiment and it's actually really cool to see. Just open my laptop and it should be there."
Neteyam did as he was told. When he opened the lid of the laptop, the image he saw stilled him on the spot, his hand still gripping the screen, almost unable to move or think, just feeling a tinge of raw curiosity, of unhindered temptation. Because on the screen were two humans. The woman was on all fours, head thrown so far back Neteyam was almost worried for her, eyes shut tightly and an almost pained expression on her face, although Neteyam doubted pain was anywhere near what she was feeling in the moment. The man was kneeled behind her, his cock sunk in her almost to the base, holding on to her long ponytail and pulling on it with one hand, the other hand tightly gripping her hip, imprints clearly visible on her skin.
The feelings this evoked in Neteyam were mixed and intense, from wonderment, to confusion, to deep, intense arousal, the blood quickly rushing from his brain to much lower down, and he felt the need to adjust his loincloth to ease some of the discomfort he was currently experiencing. What was this? Who were these people? He's never seen them before among the humans, and Eywa, was Neteyam glad to say that.
"Um... Norm, I don't think this is the experiment you wanted me to see."
Norm walked over to where Neteyam was sitting, mildly amused at Neteyam and his obvious lack of skill around technology. Neteyam almost jumped out of his skin at Norm's gasp and startled demeanour when he saw what Neteyam was looking at, and at how aggressively he was pushing the off button, trying to remove the image from his eyes, and his brain.
"Fuck... I... I'm so sorry, Neteyam. I -..." Neteyam watched dumbfounded as Norm turned on his heels and left, still wearing his labcoat and goggles, and he knew that if Norm were to have a tail, it'd definitely be in between his legs right now.
You were sprawled on the bed similarly to how you had been just a few hours ago, except right now you had the added weight of a almost 9 foot tall alien on top of you, a weight you'd never want to lose. He looked nervous about one thing or another, and you knew based on how his breath was increasing in speed that he was going to spill it soon enough.
"What is it, Teyam? Come on, out with it."
His cheeks turned a deep shade of purple as his eyes avoided yours.
"I saw something today, on Norm's laptop... something I don't think I was meant to see."
"Oh?" That definitely peaked your attention. What would anything on Norm's laptop make Neteyam so fidgety?
"It was... a man and a woman... they were... uhm... naked." Neteyam felt like his face was about to catch fire, and you cackled loudly, finding it hard to believe that Norm had porn on his laptop and was so careless about it.
"OH, MY GOD! I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LIVE THIS DOWN!"
"Wh-what.. was it?"
"Oh, yawne... it's called porn. It's... a video of people going at it."
Neteyam's confusion didn't lessen; quite the opposite, actually.
"But why?"
"Well, let's see, what did it make you feel?" Your raised eyebrow and knowing smirk was enough to make Neteyam's ears flatten in shame.
"Well...I -"
You chuckled. "There you go. That's why. It helps humans... release tension. If it's done well, it can be quite the experience."
"D-do you watch... porn?" the word felt weird and unfamiliar rolling off his tongue.
"Sometimes. But honestly, I think I'd prefer making porn."
Neteyam almost choked at your words, but couldn't help the way his cock twitched in his tewng, and how much his mind wandered at the image he saw and how much he wanted to see you in it, it in front of his eyes, there captured for eternity for him to enjoy... over and over again.
"You... want to... make porn?"
Your hips raised, brushing against his now rock hard-on, moaning a little at the way it relieved some of the pressure building up in your core.
"Only with you, yawne."
He kissed you passionately, ripping the buttons on your top as he undressed you, and made a mental note of yet another thing he should thank humans for.
#obsessed with him#༊*·˚ andra's works#neteyam#neteyam x human!reader#neteyam x reader#neteyam fanfic#neteyam reader#neteyam sully#avatar#avatar twow#avatar fanfic#neteyam x avatar!reader#neteyam sully fanfiction#neteyam angst#awow#awow neteyam#neteyam smut#neteyam x y/n#avatar way of water#neteyam x reader smut#neteyam x you#neteyam fluff#neteyam drabble#avatar drabble#avatar x reader
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You shouldn’t let her go
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton!girlfriend reader x Max Verstappen!ex-girlfriend reader
Warnings: stupid Max, pregnancy
Summary: Max left his fiancée after years of relationship because he felt he couldn't stand being tied to someone anymore so after almost two years she shows up in the paddock with Lewis and he realizes he shouldn't have let her go.
Ps: just to make it clear, I am not in favor of the rivalry that is imposed on Lewis and Max, I know they are not friends but the reality does not match my stories, this is fiction so don't take it personally.
Next Chapter
When he decided that our relationship should end I thought he was joking.
For days and weeks I couldn't believe that this was real, but my mind was made up as soon as I saw pictures of him on the internet with women in parties.
It was then that I realized that our engagement was over.
I don't think I have ever suffered so much in my life, I never thought that I would be isolated for months.
I suffered so much that I started to stop eating, in the beginning I ate very little but as the days went by I decreased until I almost stopped completely but luckily my mother saved me from being at the bottom of the pit.
The first months were difficult, I had been used to our own routine for years and having to leave it suddenly was extremely difficult, in fact I was torn out of that routine.
I had to leave where I had lived for years since the apartment was his, I had to learn to take care of my place by myself since now there was no one else for me to share my tasks with.
But 5 months later I met someone, someone who made me have those feelings again, the feelings that I thought after Max I would never have again.
I already knew who he was and he also knew who I was but the fact that he was Max's enemy but leads meant that we never really talked.
Lewis and I had been dating for almost 9 months when he ask me to be his girlfriend and I remember being extremely happy that he was taking our relationship as seriously as I was.
And since that day we have been together and today would be the first time I could be in a formula one paddock since Max and I broke up.
Today was the Dutch GP and Lewis and I were on our way to the paddock, him and I had agreed early on in the relationship that we would only go public when we were comfortable letting the world know about us. I know how well this world works, if you don't do something people judge you and if you do something they judge you anyways.
And I knew what the fans would say that I was a hustler who only dates drivers and that since I got dumped by one I went after another.
But they don't know the half of it because the part where I suffered they don't care because one of the most coveted pilots became single so they can go after him and try their luck and some of them really do.
Most of them are like that, they go from city to city in nightclubs chasing silly girls who are willing to have their one minute of fame for being able to say that they fuck a formula 1 driver, but in the end this is nothing because in years of relationship he can forget you in one day so how long does it take for them to forget a simple fuck?
When we arrived in the paddock I could already feel my nervousness and so could Lewis, he knew I was afraid to come but not because I was here again or even because I had to see him.
But because of the fact that I would be judged for dating a driver who doesn't get along well with my ex for clear reasons.
But I'm already expecting that his fans don't like me.
"Are you okay?" He asks looking at me but I don't answer and just stare at nothing. "Hey, baby."
"Yeah?" I asked looking at him.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Again he asks and I don't answer. "I'm not sure we picked the right GP to do this."
"In this situation there is no right GP. But I think we picked the worst one." I say and he laughs. "Look they are going to hate me anyway with us showing up together today or in the next race so let's just get over with."
"That's the way to talk." He says cheerfully and we get out of the car.
When we got out of the car and were getting in it seemed like the world had stopped around the two of us, the flashes and noises of the cameras, the movement was so big that even some of the drivers that were scattered around looked and were surprised at what they were seeing.
Halfway there I felt Lewis taking my hand and intertwining our fingers and confirming what people were thinking.
We walked to the Mercedes garage and before we entered I could see him standing in front of the Red Bull garage with some people from the team talking to him but Max was more focused on me than on them.
When we got inside I went to say hello to the people from the team, some faces were already known but most I didn't know who they were.
"We have an unexpected visitor." I hear a voice behind me and I recognized it right away by the accent.
"Hi Toto, how are you?"
"Fine and you?"
"I'm great taking all the attention."
"It's almost as if Beyoncé is walking into the paddock."
"I felt like her." He laughs.
"I'm going to go change and be right back okay?" Lewis says and I nodded and he gave me a kiss before heading to his room.
"I'm going to get some coffee, will you let him know for me?" Toto agrees and I leave to get a cup of coffee.
Which I shouldn't have done if I knew Max would find me and come after me.
"Hi."
"Hi Max."
"Good to see you, you look great."
"Thanks."
"And how are you?"
"Fine."
"I haven't heard from you anymore."
"You wouldn't have had to know, you made it very clear that you didn't want me in your life anymore the last time we saw each other."
"And that was the biggest mistake of my life.”
"That’s your problem now." I said walking past him but he held my arm. "Can you let go of me?"
"Are you really with him or was that whole scene just to make me jealous?"
"Pay close attention because I'm only going to tell you once, you broke up with me and it was you who broke my heart. You don't know what the hell my life was like after you dumped me, so don't come to me wanting to know about my life because I don't owe you anything.”
"I'm sorry I was an asshole and I deserve that you are angry with me but seriously you are dating him? You didn't even like him."
"YOU didn't even like him Max I've never even spoken to him to draw those conclusions. And you are rivals on the track but off the track you have no connection."
"So you're dating a guy who hates me? After everything we've been through?"
"And after everything we've been through you dumped me like that for no reason at all so it looks like we're even." He looks at me with anger and sadness at the same time. "And for your information yes I am dating him and it's been a long time, it's not something recent that happened just so I could make you jealous. So leave me alone."
I turned to leave and after a few steps I stopped and looked at him.
"Actually I do owe you something.” He looked at me. "I owe you a thank you for breaking my heart years ago because then I could meet a guy who really loves me and who sees a future with me unlike you who only saw me as a trophy that you dragged everywhere."
Having said that I actually left and went to get a coffee which would actually be a tea since I was avoiding drinking too much coffee.
After buying the tea and a donut that I couldn't resist when I saw it I went back to the Mercedes garage seeing a super worried Lewis.
"Oh my God, where were you? I was worried when I came back and didn't see you here."
"I asked Toto to tell you I was going to get something to drink."
"He had to go to a meeting and must have forgotten."
"I'm fine, don't worry."
"You look a little pale, is something wrong?" He asks, running his hand over my face and I know why I was pale but I wouldn’t tell him right before the race.
"I had a forced conversation with Max on the way over."
"What did he do? Did he hurt you?"
"He didn't hurt me he just wanted to know if we were really together or I was just using you to make him jealous. But I'm not." I hasten to say."
"I know don't worry about it, don't worry about him okay? He's not worth your time."
Lewis put his arms around my waist bringing me close to him and I held his face and kissed him until we were interrupted by the crew calling Lewis to get in the car because the race was about to start, he kissed me once more and went to the car.
I didn't remember how torturous and agonizing it was to have someone you love racing at over 300km/h, every time it seemed like someone was going to crash and I was scared to death that something was going to happen to Lewis but I knew that he was an excellent driver and had total control of what he was doing.
That was until he started to lose positions and that made me and the team worried because the car was the best of the weekend.
Max was first now and I could almost hear his laughter in my head and it really pissed me off.
"Y/n come here." I heard Toto calling me and Bono handing me a microphone.
"Why are you giving this to me?" I picked up the headset in confusion.
"He's nervous for some reason and we can't calm him down so try talking to him."
"Lewis can you hear me?" I ask after I put the headset on.
"Honey? What are you doing there?"
"You need to concentrate, what's going on?"
"I keep thinking about you and him, and it's distracting me. I'm afraid that after you talked today you might want to get back together with him.”
"Don't think about it, I love you and I'm never getting back with Max, understand? I couldn't even."
"Why couldn't you?"
"Because me and our baby love you and we are here rooting for you too."
"Our baby?" he asks without understanding.
"I'm pregnant babe."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I am."
"Are we having a baby?"
"Yes we are." I could hear him laughing with happiness. "So go get him."
Right then he sped up and sped up as if his life depended on it and on the last lap he passed Max and the whole garage celebrated, when he crossed the finish line we all went in front of the podium where I went running with the team and stood right in front, he jumped out of the car and celebrated and then came running towards me and kissed me, he pulled me through the fence hugging me even tighter. He bent down and kissed my belly making me laugh through my tears and the look on Max's face that came second didn't go unnoticed, I don't know if it was me but their eyes seemed to shine with the tears but at the moment I didn't care because my happiness was there with me celebrating his victory.
Bonus scene!
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Yourusername After feeling lonely and unhappy for years I finally found someone who makes me feel like the most special woman in the world. I can't thank you enough for making me shine again and for making me a better person.
And now that our family is growing, I can only thank you for always being there for us, I love you so much.
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Another Rough Day
gif credit @chrishemsworht
Part Twenty of the Rough Day Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 13.7K
Warnings: Angst, violence, canon-typical blood and gore, language, hurt/comfort
A/N: i wanna thank yall for sticking around during my hermit era, in the time ive been gone i am now officially a junior at a university majoring in aerospace and it’s a fuckin nightmare and i hate everything and god help us all literally kill me and I will be posting INCREDIBLY slowly because of that (I’m talkin weeks or months in between updates yall, im sorry I can’t dedicate more time to this but I am going to finish this fic within the next handful of chapters idk maybe 5 or 6 so you shouldn’t have to wait too too long). As a heads up there will be hard angst as we enter the final arc, there will be hurt and it’ll get dark but everything is gonna turn out alright so thanks for sticking with me and continuing to stick with me. im sorry if you dont like it or your expectations were subverted or if this isn’t what you’d hoped it would be after following and waiting around for so long but this was planned a long time ago and it took me a good year or two to recognize that I started writing this fic for me and now I’m going to end it writing for me and I hope yall can respect that
ALSO I asked my best BEST FRIEND in the entire world @cptnbvcks to collaborate with me for this after we both took a very long break from creating and she drew some GORGEOUS artwork for this chapter so it will be posted at the end, everyone please go follow her and say hello
ps brittany girl you’re a fuckin menace i had to use my own two ears and listen to ethan literally say the words “the mandalorian cums, hard” what the fuck was that im actually suing
anyways chapter below the cut lets get serious yall
---
You take two of them down before they even realize they’re being attacked.
Your aim is as swift and steady as if Din were behind your shoulder right now, calmly pointing out which stationary tree to hit next in rapid succession. You’re positioned perfectly at the bottom of the ramp to take full advantage of the ambush, the only thing running through your mind is strategy and the constant calculating of angles and ricochets. The other three troopers are trapped inside the open Crest and you’re right next to a large boulder that you can step behind for cover, but it proves unnecessary as the rumors were apparently true.
They’re… awful.
Not a single blaster is even fired in your direction—you think you see maybe one panicked red shot bounce around in the hull, but that’s it. The troopers fumble for their guns and trip over each other at the unexpected attack—a few scream like children through the modulators, but you’re temporarily deaf to anything besides the screech of your weapon hitting its target and the crumpling of armored bodies.
Later on, if someone were to ask you to describe exactly what happened—who died first, who ran for cover, who cried out for help—you don’t think you’d be able to. You don’t even really feel like a person right now. The entire thing is cold, robotic survival instinct, pure ruthlessness rising in your soul for the first time in your life. It feels sick. Wrong in your bones. Born from preemptive defense in fear of your life, but that doesn’t mean you stop. Not until all of them stop moving.
You empty the entire fucking canister for a handful of stormtroopers, firing plasma and char marks across every square inch of the pristine hull even after the last one drops. Your heart is beating too fast, your finger keeps pulling the trigger multiple times even after the blaster clicks uselessly, completely empty and beeping a warning that it must’ve begun emitting ages ago. Being out of ammo scares you—you suddenly feel vulnerable, even though the very far away logical part of your mind reminds you that they have to all be dead at this point and no physical threat was ever able to graze you.
Regardless, you quickly spin behind the boulder and grab another canister from your belt, giving it a spare check for leaks while the empty one slides and drops to the rocky ground. It’s the first time you’ve ever had to reload this weapon instead of just pointing and shooting, but the mechanics are relatively simple and your brain makes up for your lack of coherent thoughts with lightning fast perception. What's difficult is that your hands are starting to shake now that you’re not aiming, you’re not breathing correctly because you’re not really breathing at all. You can’t tell the difference between the adrenaline-fueled dissociative silence that muffles everything around you or if it really is just that quiet now. No more clatter of armor, no modulated voices or terrified screams. No blasters, no footsteps along the ramp, no birds singing.
You quickly pause to lift your elbow and check the enormous eyes blinking up at you, tiny claws still holding tight to the fabric of your tunic and completely unharmed, and then you force yourself to move. The blaster is held out in front of you while you walk forward and your finger rests on the trigger, begging to be pulled again. It’s suspenseful and terrifying in a different way than before—now it’s less about psyching yourself up for confrontation and more about the fact that any sudden movement could mean your very swift end.
Silence. Silence. You’re numb and raw at the same time, walking up the ramp as your eyes fly everywhere, not even registering the blood or gore, just searching for movement. You don’t know if you feel like a predator or prey, you’re that much more brutal and inhuman because of how fucking terrified you are. You count four stormtroopers in the hull laying crumpled and still on the metal floor, but the one in the far corner only has blood on his shoulder. You quickly swing the blaster around to remedy that, but then—
“P-Please don’t kill me!”
His words remind you of something. Reality, maybe. A world outside yourself and the kid’s survival, the living beings behind the bloody armor your enemies wear.
It’s a miracle your finger stays hovering over the trigger, and you watch him throw the blaster at your feet with a clang and scramble to show you his empty hands. “Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me—I’m not loyal to the Empire, I don’t want to be here, please, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die—”
Behind the mask, your expression furrows. Stormtroopers are loyal to the bitter end, what is he saying? They embrace their expendiality, it’s the only thing that makes them any sort of a real threat. Kuiil told you horror stories about them during your childhood, the cloning facilities and the propaganda they’re force fed since infancy. It’s nearly impossible to find one who hasn’t been raised from birth to serve the Empire, no matter how crumbled and trace its remaining authority may be.
No, this is a trap, it has to be. Your expression twists with dread after hearing him speak, readjusting your aim with the blaster and preparing yourself for the years of nightmares that’ll follow—but then he cries out, “Wait!” and then removes his helmet with trembling hands.
You pause, staring down at him in shock.
It’s him, you recognize him immediately. It’s the same face from a hologram puck you bore into your memory, spent multiple days staring at so you’d be able to spot him under any disguise or circumstances. Oshua Ryler. Your quarry, the fifth puck, the one Din was out Maker knows where searching for before this entire mess happened. A stormtrooper? His puck said nothing about the Empire, this doesn’t make any sense. What is he doing here? Stormtroopers don’t have pucks, they don’t have bounties or relatives or loved ones searching for them. They’re brainwashed, replaceable, faceless soldiers in suits of armor and they don’t even have names.
“Please don’t kill me,” he begs again, staring at you with wide eyes even as he cowers. “I have a family, I-I just want to go home, please—”
“Shut up.” You can’t think straight with him crying like that and you’re wasting so much time just standing here trying to process when your brain had to literally shut itself down to even do the things you’ve already done. You have to kill him and escape, you have to—you can’t trust this complication, not with the tiny claws currently digging into your back and reminding you of your purpose, but it was so much easier when he had on a helmet. You hate looking at his face. It’s going to haunt your dreams now, just like the man you stabbed on Corellia.
“Please don’t kill me—please don’t kill me,” he screws his eyes up and breathes over and over instead, and your stomach wrenches with disgust. His posture and expression are so fucking pitiful, you can barely keep your eyes on him through the overwhelming nausea and aversion that climbs up your throat. He’s with the Empire, and they’re looking for the baby. You know what needs to be done. Pull the trigger, just one small movement from you and it’ll be all over. It would be the easiest thing in the world, it would be so easy.
But then instead, you ask, “Why are you a stormtrooper?”
“I’m n-not—I hate the Empire—”
“The Empire is ashes.” You don’t know if you’re yelling or whispering with how much blood is roaring through your ears. “They hold no power anymore. Why are you with them?”
“Because the one thing they have left is money!” The quarry shrills the words at you, ghostly pale to the point of turning green. “Th-They buy troopers now—they opened up a whole new market for the smugglers, there’s a base nearby that’s used for training and…” He stares wide eyed at you and gulps. “C-Conditioning.”
Your brain is already going a trillion lightyears an hour and it doesn’t have the capacity to empathize or understand anything beyond the child’s survival and the relevant details right now. “Were they expecting the baby?”
“W-What?” He squeaks up at you.
“Was the bounty put out on you a trap set by the Empire?” You ask him, lifting your free arm just enough to flash him the tiny child clinging to your side. “He said they’re coming after the baby, so tell me if this was planned from the beginning.”
“Who is ‘he’?” The stormtrooper asks, furrowing his eyebrows and looking around. “What are you talki—”
“Tell me if the bounty on you was a trap to take this baby!” You roar, your blaster shaking as you aim it down at him. Your mind is acutely focused on the tiny claws hanging onto your tunic, the continued safety of the kid and the life or death situation facing him that you were given absolutely no information about. “Now—”
“If it was I didn’t know!” He quickly cries out, pleading with you and clamping his eyes shut in terror under the barrel sight. “I don’t know anything about a b-baby, or a bounty! They just put blasters in our hands and told us to search for a ship and to bring back anyone we find alive, I swear!”
You’re silent for a moment, biting your lip under the mask and caught halfway between discerning and stalling. You could still kill him. You should still kill him, time is ticking down and more troopers could be heading this way any second.
Shit. “Who put the bounty out on you?” You ask sharply. It might not be a completely fair question, but he can’t exactly blame you for not feeling completely fair right now.
“I—I don’t know,” he gasps, clutching his bleeding shoulder. “Could’ve been anyone—my mother, Cyra, o-or my dad, Obediah, or Thia, or Benja, or S—”
“Thia,” you interrupt his rambling, catching the slurred word and repeating it back to him.
“Yes!” Oshua jerks his head up, tears and hope immediately filling his eyes at the sound of her name, “Yes, Thiadura Celi Ryler, that’s my sister!”
Maker, if he’s lying, then he’s fucking brilliant at it. You look towards the cockpit of the ship, biting your lip under the mask. Get to Nevarro, tell Karga and he’ll… something. Din was cut off before he finished. Help? Know what to do? You’re lost, but you have a clear directive and the precious seconds are sliding by. The controls are right up there, two steps to the ladder and less than a minute until you’re rising into the atmosphere.
But then you think back to the terror in Din’s voice. The blistering panic that made him speak faster and with more urgency than you’ve ever heard from him. Get to Nevarro. Tell Karga. Get to Nevarro. Tell Karga.
You look back at the quarry. “How many of you are there?”
“At the base? Around three hundred,” he immediately spills. “Half of us are in the hole right now getting brainwashed, they do it in shifts, but they can be mobilized in a few hours. There were a lot of bodies outside when we were ordered to split off, maybe a third of our squadron, but the rest were still shooting at whatever was—”
“So around a hundred left,” You finish breathlessly, almost wanting him to speak faster and cut to the chase so you can calculate quicker. “How many were dispatched on the search?”
“Uh, there were eight groups of five sent in each major direction,” he informs you, still trembling on the ground. “Told us not to come back until we covered the entire sector.”
Of which, four you’ve already taken care of. In other circumstances, you’d be nauseated at the thought, but right now, it’s just another number to subtract, just more panicked math in Din’s frightening absence. That leaves at least sixty troopers left wherever the base is, minimum, and likely a couple more hours before they’ve combed the sector. If this wasn’t a preconceived trap purposefully set for the kid, then that means reinforcements haven’t arrived yet but likely will soon. And if this is a base meant for training and conditioning, then that also means there’s a chance not all of them will be loyal yet.
You make the decision immediately.
“Okay,” you announce, clicking the blaster’s safety switch and holstering it, sounding lightyears more certain than you feel. “Then you’re going to help me carry out a rescue mission, and I’ll take you back to your sister.”
“You…” He looks uncertain, blinking at your blaster and slowly lowering his hands. “You want to rescue the men?”
Ideally? Sure. Realistically? You don’t say anything in response. Instead, you kick his regulation firearm at your feet further away from the quarry just in case your judgment is flawed, and then turn around and grab one of the bodies behind you.
Your adrenaline is still blaring so fast that you only just barely note the severity of what you’ve just done and what you’re continuing to do. The corpses aren’t real to you right now, they’re inanimate things that you need out of your ship before you can close the doors to it. They are, however, heavy as fuck, but the only other adult here has a wound in his arm from the gun on your hip. Regardless, you have experience with lifting dead weight without a big, strong, capable man to do it for you.
“Help me out here, kid,” you mutter over your shoulder, and in response, you feel his claws dig in and climb up just a little bit until he can peek out in front of you. Thankfully, the burden is suddenly lifted and you can quickly slide the dead troopers down the ramp with ease. It takes hardly any time at all—you just yank and haul and release and all four of them tumble the rest of the way all by themselves.
When you stand back up, Oshua hasn’t moved and he’s looking at you with a pale, queasy expression. Glancing down, you see that your white robe is now stained with streaks and patches of rusty blood. Instead of swallowing back bile at the sight and bolting to the shower to scrub off every last remaining trace, you breeze past it, noting nothing more than a change of color. Dirtying your white, pristine clothing with the consequences of protecting this baby—you’d rather have blood-soaked fabric with an unharmed kid clinging to you than any other combination of those things.
“Can you make it up to the cockpit?” You ask the quarry, kicking his rifle off the ship before closing the ramp and then gesturing up the ladder. Your voice is calm and steady but your hands are beginning to shake again. “I need as much information as possible about the base.” You know that’s where Din is, judging from the wall of blaster screeches that drowned him out through the comm. Logically, you know you could be headed right into a trap, and every instinct inside you wants to find safety, but… you just cannot imagine flying the ship away from this planet without Din onboard. It isn’t fucking happening, you’ve made your choice.
Without waiting for a response, you climb the ladder and plop down in the pilot’s seat of the Crest. While Oshua finds some way to clamber up the steps behind you in bulky stormtrooper armor with one good arm, you hold the kid closer on your lap and begin flight checking. Din will be fucking furious, but the scolding you’ll be sure to get is the least of your worries right now. Following his instructions and going back to Nevarro is just making shit infinitely more dangerous for him, turning what could be a potential rescue mission into an undeniable suicide mission. Even if Karga somehow decides to send a few guild members along to infiltrate the base, it’ll be a war you want to avoid.
Besides. What did you always tell him about running away from him, even when he instructs you to?
It’s just… not really your thing.
---
They’re everywhere.
They crawl like flies out of the base, and for every single body that falls, three more spill from the open doors. Rapid fire plasma beams launch from the end of Din’s blaster, melting white armor with every twitch of his gloved finger. Their aim is terrible, as is to be expected, but the sheer number of them more than makes up for it, as is by design.
Din’s heart pounds with exertion, his breath comes in ragged huffs through the modulator as his helmet identifies and isolates which body is closest to him, which body he needs to bring down next. His blaster is so hot it nearly burns his hand, even through the thick gloves he wears. When he runs out of ammo, he holsters the pistol and swings his rifle from around his shoulder, spinning to catch a handful of troopers behind him in the obliterating blast.
He’s not thinking much. He can’t think, even though your safety and that of his son is currently dangling by a thread. If he focuses on that, he’ll be dead before he can even picture your faces. He just reacts, he maims and kills without a single thought in his mind. Blood splatters, screams and sirens blare as he becomes surrounded by more and more troopers. Din can hear the sound of plasma colliding and ricocheting off his armor; every single one of them is a potential injury he could currently have but might not even be able to feel right now.
His helmet starts beeping rapidly and he turns just enough to see, highlighted in bright red on the screen, two enormous artillery turrets slowly rising up out of the roof of the imperial base. He feels a fierce flash of anger burn in his chest, it’s like a lightning strike to his veins.
Din needs to go.
And yet… if he was another man. If he wasn’t a father, or a husband, if he had no family and no attachments like the creed declared he should, he would go. With just a twitch of his fingers, he could be launching into the sky and retreating as far away from this battlefield as he could reasonably get. He’s never been the type to run from a threat, but this isn’t just a threat. Dozens of troopers are gaining on him, they’re trampling their own dead to get within range. Plasma pings off his shoulder, another one hits his back as they flank from behind. He can feel the heat through the sizzling beskar, he can see them surrounding him on all sides, and the propulsion trigger for his jetpack is right there under his wrist.
Din holds his ground and continues firing, he plants his feet firmly to the dirt with only one thought in his mind.
Run, sweet girl. Run.
---
You type in commands to scan for Din’s signal, quickly locating it through the Crest’s computer onboard. Not far from here, three minutes or less. The ship rumbles to life beneath you, slowly lifting off the rocky ground and rotating in place as it hovers. It’s not on autopilot but you feel like you are, you can barely feel your hands as they move the yoke forward and the Crest takes off in the direction of Din’s blinking frequency.
“Tell me about defenses,” you instruct Oshua, restlessly bouncing your leg while the baby coos.
“Two plasma turrets on top of the base,” the quarry quickly answers. “There’s usually guards stationed around the perimeter, but everyone who’s capable will be outside right now.”
Your mouth twists downwards under the mask. Blasters don’t scare you much from this high up, but Din’s armor doesn’t cover every inch of his body, he’s not completely invincible. Doubt churns in your stomach, but you have to stay focused on one task at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed. The turrets, then. “Are they automatic?”
“Manual,” he corrects with a shake of his head.
“Radar?”
“Old. Only engages above fifty meters.”
You eye your altitude and dip the Crest considerably, beginning to weave through the rocky canyons and dodging crumbling cliffs while you travel. “What about ships?”
“None,” Oshua says, “except for a passenger shuttle used for transport. TIEs are flown in the Vesta sector, this base is remote and used for basic training only.”
“Anything else?” You ask, stomach twisting with the knowledge that barely four questions is all you’ve got. You’re planning to drop into an imperial base to save the man you love and you can’t think of a single other question?
The quarry shrugs, and your heart slams, does somersaults in your chest at the mere notion that you could fucking die here. Today, in two minutes or less, you could die here. The child in your lap looking over the ship’s front panel with a quiet determination in his eyes could die here. Din could already be dead—that signal broadcasts his location to this computer regardless of whether he’s still breathing or not. He could already be gone and you’d be flying the baby right into a trap without knowing any differently.
Whelp, you think while taking a deep breath, some strangely calm existential acceptance beginning to flood your soul. If he isn’t dead, he will be soon if you don’t make it to him on time.
You immediately lift your wrist and speak into the communicator. “Mando?” You have no idea if he can hear you, but you need to try anyway. Your voice is still firm, there’s a strength to it you don’t feel in your chest, but it certainly sounds convincing. “I’m coming to get you. Less than a minute to your location, do everything you can to get outside. If you can’t, I’ll just… uh. Try to figure something else out.”
That’s it. That’s it, improvise until you don’t have to. Even if you’re lacking confidence, you can at least scrounge up some conviction. Your arms gain feeling again while you veer the Crest through the stony terrain, the familiar reverberations under your feet begin to fill your body with a powerful sense of purpose. Your breaths begin to come steady, every falling rock you see through the transparisteel feels like it drops in slow motion, allowing you to evade them easily. It would normally be stupidly dangerous to fly this low with so many unexpected obstacles and hazards narrowly missing the ship, but considering what you’re flying into, a few boulders seems comical.
“Where’s your helmet?” Oshua asks out of nowhere, and for a second, you don’t think you heard him correctly.
But then it strikes you all at once what he’s attempting to imply, and the sheer lunacy of the thought is enough to make you laugh while you clutch the controls. “I’m not a Mandalorian.”
“You wear the armor of one,” he points out… rather fairly, you have to admit. “You cover your face like one. You have a blaster that fires Philithiorium, a rare and expensive gas native to Mandalore’s stratosphere, and you’re a bounty hunter—”
“I’m not a Mandalorian.” Your words are short and cutting, you have a daunting task to focus on and don’t feel like having small talk right now. “I’m not a bounty hunter, either.”
But then again, Karga made you a member of the Guild, didn’t he? He handed you Oshua’s puck and said this one is for you to find, and you are technically part of a Mandalorian clan. All of this seems like it happened without your knowledge. You may be marrying a Mandalorian, you may wear his armor and mother his child and shoot a blaster with his signet branded into it, but war isn’t in your blood. This robe was a costume when you first made it, this armor was a relic that was restored as a hobby. In a sense, it still feels that way. The mask covering your face lended itself to a temporary surge of bravery earlier, but beyond that, the only thing that’s keeping you moving forward now is your family. The man you love that may or may not be alive right now, the baby holding tight to your leg while the ship sways and weaves through the stony landscape.
Your eyes quickly flick down to the child in your lap, both of his three fingered hands clutching onto the stained fabric of your knee without moving a single inch. He’d know, you tell yourself. If his father is gone, he’d already know somehow. Din is still alive, and he’s counting on you.
---
There’s too many for Din to handle.
They swarmed him, overpowered his endless artillery with massive numbers and there’s nothing he can do anymore. The backs of his knees are kicked from behind and he slams down to the ground with a clatter, his sizzling hot blasters are ripped from him, and Din folds his hands calmly behind his back even as one of the stormtroopers barks out, “Binders,” to another one, who disappears quickly in response. In the meantime, a few of them apparently decide to just attempt holding his arms in place, and their measly combined grip is almost enough to make him roll his eyes under the helmet. These imperial soldiers are even more pitiful than they usually are, but his silent resolve to stall to ensure your escape is enough to keep him stationary and compliant for the time being.
Eventually, a few voices call out from beyond the crowd and there’s some movement from the back. Dozens of troopers with their blasters all pointed at him begin to shuffle to make way, careful to keep their barrels aimed at him while a path slowly forms. The crowd of white parts and a stormtrooper with a singular red pauldron on his right shoulder saunters confidently towards Din as he kneels on the ground.
An officer, he assumes. Conveniently missing from the firefight, the scanner inside his helmet would’ve caught the change in color and Din would’ve made sure to kill him first.
“Well now, what do we have here?” Comes his thin metallic voice through the tinny filter. The officer studies him curiously for a few moments, before slowly looking down by his feet, reaching out one cheap, plastic covered foot to gently nudge the body of a dead trooper on the ground with a sigh. “What a shame.”
Coward, he thinks, his lip curling with disgust under the helmet.
“This is an imperial training base,” he turns his attention back to Din to inform him when he doesn’t immediately respond, rather stupidly he might add. “How were you able to find us?”
Silence. The grip on hands held behind his back is even looser now. He just tilts his chin up slightly in defiance, the scanner inside his helmet locating each weapon strapped to the man’s body and highlighting it red. Small text boxes blink into existence under each one with a manufacturer and classification—a BlasTech E-11 rifle, a Merr-Sonn thermal detonator, a Kolvo vibroblade—and Din is severely unimpressed with the quality. The detonator is the only weapon that even catches his eye, and that’s only because the chamber inside that houses the explosive baradium has a release mechanism that’s completely dead. Useless, then. Good to know.
After a long moment of quiet tension where Din refuses to speak and the officer continues to confidently scrutinize him, in some strange sort of silent battle of egos that only one seems to have a genuine interest in, another stormtrooper makes his way to the front, shoving past his fellow soldiers to address the superior in charge.
“Commander, we’ve sent out an alert for an intruder,” he tells him, slightly out of breath from running through the crowd in the lightweight armor. Din wants to roll his eyes, but what he says next makes him snap to immediate attention. “The fleet informed us that Moff Gideon is currently on route.”
Gideon. The last time someone spoke that name, it was a quarry on Coruscant and you just barely managed to stop Din from suffocating the bastard for even saying it aloud before freezing him in carbonite. It would’ve meant half the return on a hunt that lasted nearly a month but he saw red and his hand was crushing his windpipe before he realized what happened. But he’s dead, Din thinks with a clenched jaw and fists tightening behind his back, he watched that TIE fighter explode and slam into the ground, crushing the man inside it. The wreck was unsurvivable, he can’t be alive.
“For what? This Mandalorian?” The trooper in charge scoffs in response, and Din remains completely mute.
“Yes, sir,” the other one confirms. “Orders were to capture him, alive.”
“Hm.” The officer turns his attention back to him, less analyzing and more musing while he tilts his head. “I see,” he eventually says, and he sounds like he’s grinning, before strolling slightly closer as Din stays completely still on his knees. “He must want the beskar. I’m sure it’s worth more than this entire battalion combined.”
All of a sudden, a gloved hand carelessly catches the rim of his helmet and tugs, and Din’s movement is explosive. He launches off the ground, arms easily slipping from the pathetic grip they were being held in and his fist colliding with the side of the officer’s flimsy white helmet, the plastic making a deafening crack against his face.
Multiple hands immediately rush forward to grab him and yank him back down again while the commanding trooper stumbles backwards in shock, and Din amicably drops to his knees and folds his hands behind his back once more like nothing happened at all.
“Binders!” A trooper behind him roars loudly once more, and a few men surrounding him begin trotting away this time.
The officer in red stands a few feet away from him now, grabbing his helmet and twisting it back to its proper position on his head where it was skewed. There’s a shattered hole near his jaw where the material splintered and busted like the cheap piece of banthashit it is, and while he might normally feel pleased with himself for being able to see his skin peeking through, it just fills him with more righteous fury. It’s such a punchable jaw.
After a few awkward moments of silence, the other one clears his throat and continues. “He… has inquired about the location and status of a child that should be accompanying him.”
Din inhales deeply through his nose and grinds his teeth. He wants to snap their necks one by one for even just mentioning his son, but there are just too many, more than even his whistling birds can neutralize. Still, he gave you as much of a head start as physically possible. You should be rising into the atmosphere right now, making the jump into hyperspace towards safety. Karga will know what to do—he’ll protect his family, separate you and the boy so the threat is evenly dispersed instead of collected all in one place, and arm dozens of trained hunters to keep watch over you both individually. It’s the best Din can do, and it’s the only thing keeping his knees planted on the ground and his body completely motionless while they continue speaking.
“We are combing the sector for a ship with as many men as we can afford to lose,” the trooper in red says, but his voice filter is shattered and now sounds like a puny little droid with a broken voice box, “but our numbers are unimpressive. Assistance may be required.”
It’s too late, Din thinks, mouth twitching under the beskar with a satisfied smirk. They’re wasting their time, looking for a ghost. You’re both long gone by now. They’ve got no idea you even exist—
“He also spoke of a girl.”
And then he feels his heart stop in his chest. Every single cell in his body turns to fire, it’s a fucking miracle he doesn’t move a muscle in response. His sweet girl, the one so far removed from the nightmare of the Empire that she made best friends with the orphans of it. How the fuck did he know? He shouldn’t even be breathing, let alone gathering information about you, how did he know?
But then Din thinks back, remembering your makeshift bed on the floor, your panicked eyes and heaving chest as the quarry taunted him with a sick little smile. Who’s this, Mando? She’s just darling, isn’t she? Does Gideon know your crew has a lovely new addition?
“A girl?”
The trooper nods. “Moff Gideon insisted that if the Mandalorian did not have a child with him, then a girl would likely be protecting him instead.”
He’s going to kill them, Din decides. Every single one of these imperial pigs, every single soldier standing right now is a dead fucking man. The blood pumping through his body suddenly turns to acid, deadly black hate poisoning his soul. His heartbeat morphs into a war drum, the armor strapped to his limbs is the barrel of a gun. He’s going to fucking kill them and leave an imperial base full of bodies to greet his old nemesis upon his return, and he’s going to enjoy every single second of it.
Except, then—
“Mando?” The sweetest voice in existence suddenly crackles through the earpiece under his helmet. “I’m coming to get you. Less than a minute to your location, do everything you can to get outside. If you can’t, I’ll just… uh. Figure something else out.”
And, as Din kneels there in surrender, surrounded by a crowd of enemies he thought he destroyed long ago, all the anger—all the fury and defiance and murder surging through his veins—suddenly morphs to fear.
The emotion is so foreign and old to him, it feels like a face he barely recognizes and a name he can’t remember. He’s panicked before. He’s been in situations where a threat has made him blind with rage, he knows what it’s like to look death straight in the eyes and say that he’s busy and to come back another time. This is different. This is ice cold that freezes over beskar.
He can’t speak out loud to warn you—he can’t move his hands to press the button on the back of his helmet and allow him to talk without detection. There’s plasma turrets on the roof of the base, he can see them right now. The helmet’s scanners say they’re manned and engaged, and though he is outside and this is how you retrieved him before whenever he needed a quick escape, he has fifty fucking imperial blasters trained on him and you know absolutely nothing about this threat. You’re flying right into a war zone and if either you or his son dies, he won’t ever be able to forgive himself.
Behind the helmet, his eyes fly to each and every trooper, wondering which blaster will be the one to do it. Which weapon is going to be the one he can’t block in time when you descend, the one that’ll kill him right in front of you. Which turret will be the one to obliterate the Crest with you and his son inside of it.
“Maker, where are those fucking binders—” he hears someone behind him snarl, but the white noise of pure terror roaring through his ears drowns them out. His chest starts heaving against his will, sheer panic begins to blur his vision. For the first time in his life, his armor feels too heavy, his lungs feel like one of these boulders are sitting on them instead of beskar.
All too soon, his helmet starts making a familiar sound that signals quietly in his ear, alerting him of an incoming ship, and the only thing he can physically do is count down the seconds to prepare himself for what is to come.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two…
Like lightning, Din breaks the grip of multiple troopers and surges up, tackling the officer in red to the ground. There’s a clatter as they both slam into the rocky floor, but in the ensuing scuffle, he easily snatches the thermal detonator from his side holster and holds it up for everyone to see, before pressing the red button on the front and hearing it begin to beep rapidly.
---
You’re right on time.
The Crest rises up through the rocky cliffs surrounding the base and you spot the turrets you were warned about. Weapons controls are already engaged and you’re too low to be detected by radar—you fire once, twice, and blast both of them to smithereens from behind before they can even rotate around to target you.
Alarms start wailing but the guns are destroyed. It’s not comforting, though; blasters won’t touch you up here, but that doesn’t mean they can’t fire at Din on the ground. Your eyes dart across the sea of white, looking for a flash of silver anywhere, and then you spot him instantly in the chaos.
For some reason, the troopers in his vicinity all seem to be bolting away from him. Their rifles are down, clutched in their hands while they nearly fall over each other to run away as fast as possible, and your heart soars when you spot his jetpack firing up. Din launches into the sky while another trooper is revealed underneath him, seeming to juggle something in his hands and then throw it into the crowd of retreating soldiers, but the sight of the man you love rising into the air while a flurry of blaster shots from the far edges of the imperial structure follow him gives you the confidence to immediately turn the guns down towards the horde of troopers.
“Which ones are in charge?” You ask Oshua breathlessly, who leans forward and points out the transparisteel.
“Red pauldrons—” he barely has time to say it before you aim and fire at one of the troopers wearing red that was closest to Din, the plasma beam launching from the Crest so powerful and devastating that it outright obliterates the surface he’s laying on. Pieces of shattered armor fly and a smoking crater of rubble is all that’s left behind, but your mind is whirling and you’re already onto someone else wearing red at the edges of the complex, and then two more near the doors, and then another—
To their credit, you think the sixty or so soldiers in training seem to figure out that you’re not aiming into the enormous collection of them. If you were, the damage would be catastrophic and spraying everywhere, but you’re precise and meticulous with your shots, and the only ones who are loyal enough to the cause to hold still and raise their blasters at the incoming threat tend to be the ones you need to mow down anyways. The rest of them scatter in all directions, scrambling over each other to escape and then disappearing into the distant boulders surrounding the base—but you notice that not a single one of them runs back inside the safety of its open doors.
The hull dips with the weight of Din dropping in, and relief floods your soul even as you continue raining hell down on the superiors in charge. Any flash of color you see is a target, your eyes lose focus of everything, your vision blurs and turns monochrome as you just search for red.
“Lift up!” You hear Din’s voice roar from the hull. You can hear his rifle unloading through the open door. “Now! We have to go now!”
You press the button to shut the hull door with Din inside and punch it, rising so fast that the shove of gravity makes it difficult to keep your head up. Through the sudden surge of downward force, you just barely manage to raise your incredibly heavy arm to push the button that pressurizes the Crest and ignites the launch boosters, preparing the vessel for space travel. Outside the transparisteel, the gray sky begins darkening as the atmosphere eventually disappears. The ship’s engines roar, burning so much fuel at once that you’re actually accelerating through the climb, you’re boosting through the gradual ease of gravity as the planet’s curvature and glow becomes softer and softer below you.
As soon as the blackness of space begins to fill the windows, the slight subsiding of force allows you to plug in the coordinates for Nevarro with less difficulty, but you’re still moving, still rising, still escaping. You can’t find it within yourself to slow down, but then something catches your attention.
Claws suddenly dig sharp into your thigh, sharp enough to sting and cause you to wince, and you look down to see that the kid has gone incredibly tense. Deadly tense. Your heart is still pounding even though you’re away from danger, you’ve got Din in the hull, everyone is safe, and yet—
It flickers into existence all at once. One second it’s just space, just the endless depths of nothingness spread out for light years in front of you, and within the blink of an eye it’s suddenly there.
A star destroyer.
Your body freezes in horrified awe, having never seen a ship so fucking big in your entire life. It looks like a massive satellite, the size of an enormous asteroid instantly appearing in your vision and dwarfing the vastness of space around it. All the stars you used to dream about are suddenly blotted out within a fraction of a second, terror so immense seizes your soul that you stop thinking. You stop calculating, you stop being yourself for a split second that lasts an entire lifetime.
Before you can move a single muscle, the computer beeps quickly and lurches the Crest into hyperspace.
---
The stars streak across the transparisteel like so many times before. Utter silence nearly deafens you with how abrupt it is after so much noise, but the peace it used to bring does nothing to quell your fear. Everything is the same as it always was, same bursts of light as you hurdle faster than it towards Nevarro, same quiet, same rumbling hum of the ship. But now, everything has changed.
You hear the quarry next to you suddenly inhale and exhale loudly, and it shocks you a little bit, reminds you that there’s a person next to you and another is on your lap. Other people exist outside of the vision of death that just flickered out of existence just as quickly as it appeared. They’re breathing, Oshua is shakily unbuckling his seatbelt, life is continuing on in the quiet cockpit but you can’t seem to move like he is. You can’t seem to breathe like he is. It’s only when the baby slowly maneuvers himself around on your thigh and blinks up at you, placing a tiny hand on your stomach that you finally feel air enter your lungs.
After a moment, you reach down and click open your seatbelt with trembling fingers, scooping the kid up in your arms and slowly attempting to stand. Everything feels wobbly and dreamlike, you have to brace yourself on the headrest to prevent yourself from falling back into the chair again.
“That was…” Ryler mutters, his voice sounding foggy and distant, “uh. A close one.”
You look over at him, recognizing that he’s speaking but not quite able to understand the words right now. Red catches in your vision, and you blink down at the way he’s clutching his left shoulder, the smear of blood darkening the white armor he’s wearing. You blink a few more times at the sight of it, and though it feels like you normally would be sickened at the wound, somehow shocked out of your state of shock, it does nothing to you. When you look back up at his face, his expression seems strangely grateful, even when it’s screwed up in what you know must be excruciating pain. You did that, a quiet voice whispers in your mind, even though the rest of it seems incredibly blank.
Instead of responding, you stumble a few steps over to the ladder, spinning around and hesitating for a moment. You’re severely lacking in coherent thought, but one thing seems to break through. You’re not sure if you have enough coordination to do this safely right now. However, when there’s movement in your peripheral and you look to see Oshua gently offering his right arm to you, seeming to understand you’d like to use both hands for this, you snap back to your senses just the slightest bit and hug the baby tighter to your chest. Carefully, you begin making the slow climb down the ladder with the kid, still trembling with the aftershocks of adrenaline. Your limbs feel extra heavy, but eventually the floor meets your feet.
Din is standing there when you slowly turn around, armor gleaming and still as a statue, but he has his back to you. His helmet is tilted down at the ground, and when you follow his gaze, you’re met with the sight of the bloodstains of dragged bodies that leave dark red streaks all the way up the ramp.
You feel something this time. It’s… cold. A burning, searing cold that creeps into your skin. Like your heart decides to pump nitrogen through your chest instead of warm blood. You did that.
There’s a sudden urge inside of you to speak, to address him and inform him of your presence, tell him everything is okay, everything worked out, but you can’t find it in yourself to say a single word. You can’t find a single word to say. The kid twists as best he can in your clutch, his ears drag against your chest to greet his father, but for some reason, there’s still a strange sense of fear in your bones. It’s enough to wake you up slightly, it’s enough to tell you it’s not over yet. There’s a terror in your heart that hasn’t left since he first called over the comm and begged you to run, a crippling dread that you thought climaxed after seeing that star destroyer appear, but it’s somehow only increased after laying eyes on him like this.
You watch as his helmet turns, slowly meeting the pauldron on his shoulder, and for some reason, you feel yourself harden. Your feet brace against the metal floor like this is another threat you have to face, you let its unyielding metallic strength transfer up through the souls of your boots to your heart in your chest.
But the second you hear cheap white armor clatter as the quarry steps down the ladder behind you, Din bursts into movement. He suddenly spins and storms up to you in one single step while catching your holstered blaster on your hip. It’s out and aimed in the blink of an eye, and it’s a miracle you remember how to speak before he remembers how to kill.
“Mando—” you warn, just in time for the quarry to land on the floor of the hull and turn around to reveal his face.
Din holds there for a second, his helmet locked on Oshua’s features. His gloved fingers twitch wildly on the trigger of your gun held over your shoulder, like he has to remind himself multiple times not to. You hear Oshua’s armor clack while he likely raises one good arm in surrender, but then Din’s helmet moves a fraction of a millimeter to your face and holds there. He just stares down at you, and the air feels heavy, your body feels heavy, the feather light child in your arms feels heavy.
Slowly, he lowers his arm, lets it fall while he continues looking at you from behind the visor. You look back at him, unblinking, unfeeling, and there’s a few seconds that last an utter eternity where nobody moves. Nobody speaks, nothing happens, but then a soft coo comes from your arms before you can finally break eye contact, knowing there are still some things that need to be done.
You eventually turn around and lift your chin to address Oshua.
“You have to go into carbonite,” you inform him quietly. Your voice sounds strange, like it’s coming from outside of yourself. “We’re taking you to Nevarro, and then you’ll be transported to your home planet. When they unfreeze you, your sister will be there to collect you.”
He looks uncertain, one hand still raised while the other hangs uselessly at his side, and you don’t blame him.
But you also don’t feel like saying anymore, not unless he decides he doesn’t want to go in willingly. Normally you might’ve tried to empathize, offer him further reassurance beyond just a couple short sentences, but you don’t. Speaking feels difficult, thinking feels difficult. You’re still in survival mode, not active but reactive. There’s also no reason for you to lie to him about this, and you can see him glance at Din standing silently behind you, who hasn’t moved a muscle.
He eventually nods and you walk him over to the chamber without another word, watch him turn to face you as he backs into the opening while you reach up towards the control panel.
But then there’s a moment. One where you hesitate slightly, one where your vision flashes back to the sight of those bloodstains on the floor, and that burning cold fills you again, so cold it feels completely numb.
“I’m… sorry,” you whisper quietly to him, though your voice sounds so empty. There’s so much emotion that should be there but isn’t, so much regret and pain that should break through but can’t. “I’m sorry I… killed your friends.”
Later, you’ll think about how you felt absolutely nothing saying it. Your heart doesn’t constrict with remorse at the mere words leaving your mouth, guilt doesn’t flood into your soul, pain doesn’t wrack through your bones. You could’ve been saying anything at all and nobody would be able to tell the difference.
He blinks at you, flicking his eyes between yours for a second or two, but then you press the proper button and watch the gas quickly freeze him where he stands. He’ll be conscious the entire time, but Karga will send him to the correct location and you have no doubt that this elemental purgatory is leagues better than where he just escaped from. It’s a benefit being the last quarry to be retrieved—he’ll only have to spend a few days trapped in here before being reunited with his family.
When that’s done and Oshua is a complete statue in front of you, bulky white armor now colored a dull metallic gray and frozen in time, you will yourself to finally turn around to face the enormous mountain of a presence behind you. The baby gently reaches out for him, but Din doesn’t move from where he’s stood. Your blaster is still clutched tightly in his hand, and he isn’t looking at you.
Slowly, you walk over and stop directly in front of him in the middle of the hull, blinking at him while the helmet subtly moves to lock onto your face. The kid begins wiggling in your arms, making soft impatient noises while you both stand in complete silence across from each other.
After a few moments, you hear him flick your blaster’s safety on by his side and then toss it carelessly to the ground. It skids along the floor, light enough to be mostly quiet. Gloves reach out as he carefully takes the kid from you and settles him in the crook of one arm, and then he looks you up and down, still not saying anything.
Your eyes follow his movement, watching his arm slowly reaching out to you, and you think he’s going to cup your jaw, or brush your hair back. Give you some sort of physical reassurance since he hasn’t spoken a single word of it.
Instead, Din suddenly grabs the armor clinging to your chest and starts ripping it off you with one hand. It clangs to the floor so loudly in the silence of hyperspace, the kid’s ears twitch and flutter with each shattering bang. You hold still while he does it, you barely respond except the unavoidable movement your body experiences as the pauldron is yanked from your shoulder and thrown against the ground. The ammo belt is tugged over your head and hurled away, the thigh braces are snatched from your legs and they clang to the floor, and the pearly, opalescent fabric revealed underneath is stained in dead man’s blood, rusty and in such great quantities that it shows up as brown instead of red.
“Are you hurt?”
He sounds… dead. So monotonic that you can’t possibly gauge his emotional state. He doesn’t move. His fists don’t clench, he says every single word like it means the same exact thing as the last. If nothing at all was a person who could speak, they’d use his tone of voice.
“No,” you eventually whisper.
The helmet nods once, and then he spins around and walks away without anything else. Without saying anything, without touching you, or double checking you for injuries in case you were lying. You stand utterly still while Din climbs the ladder with the kid cradled in one arm, and you don’t even flinch when the door to the cockpit slides shut behind him. You have no idea how long you stand there in the splitting silence afterwards, numb and unmoving.
You feel… nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The hard defenses you strapped to yourself today to reconcile the things you had to do are still high and strong, guarding your soul even if he stripped away your physical armor. Self preservation is still animating your body, and your facial expression barely changes. Your first thought, as soon as you remember that you can have one, is that there are things that still need to be done. Tasks to complete.
Alone, you shower the lingering traces of blood off your body, the normally clear and refreshing water running a sickly, toxic brown. Alone, your stomach rolls and suddenly decides to empty itself of the very little that was in it as the scalding drops rain down over you—mostly liquid and bile that easily rinses down the drain. The water is too warm, it beats down on you like blazing hot sand pelting your skin in the desert. You feel like you did those first few months with Din, where the silence was suffocating, where you’d only interact with the baby if he was on a hunt or if you could tell he didn’t know how to calm him when he was fussy. If you were in hyperspace, you usually spent time by yourself in the hull while he lived in the cockpit, and if he decided he needed to be in the hull for whatever reason, then you’d trade places with him. It was… isolating. Lonely by yourself. The quiet used to haunt you before it became your cherished friend, but now it’s a betrayer, a ghost that whispers memories and nightmares in your ears.
When you finally finish rinsing the blood from your skin and get dressed, you see the sheets that used to make up your bed now have fried holes in them from your charred plasma marks, the inside of the hull is covered in them and the trails of dried blood where you dragged the bodies down the ramp. Your armor is still strewn about the hull, the kid’s hovering shield lays dead in the corner. Everything you meticulously cleaned and organized and collected and created, now the scene of a bloodbath. One committed by your hand, your blaster still laying uselessly on the floor forever linked to this atrocity.
You spare a glance towards the ladder, but you don’t want to come face to face with Din yet. You already knew he’d be furious, but… you had hoped that he’d at least…
What? At least what? Comfort you? Coddle you after you deliberately ignored his instructions? What exactly, in the past year or so of learning Din’s inner workings and intricacies, would ever give you the impression that he’d come give you a big hug after you purposefully defied him? You flew the kid directly into an imperial base after being told to protect him, you ignored every order he gave to you in the moments he thought would be his last, and though you did it to save his life, you have a feeling that Din has never valued his life even a fraction of what you do.
The misery stabs at your soul, but your mind is finally beginning to process things logically. He’s alive, the kid is alive, the quarry is secure, and you’re all onboard the safety of this ship hurtling through hyperspace where nobody, not even the Empire, can touch you. You weighed the consequences before making your decision, you did what you had to do. If he wants to be mad, then he can fucking well be mad and you’ll find some way to comfort yourself. At least he’s here being mad, at least he’s alive and safe and breathing and mad, and your rare act of disobedience is to thank for that.
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you realize it’s probably easier than it should be to reconcile the punishment. Right now, you welcome the exclusion, the negativity and sorrow beating itself into your soul. Four innocent people died today on this ship, gunned down under your blaster while they panicked and ran for cover. You keep hearing their screams.
So you start to clean up the hull, needing another task to focus your thoughts on. You work to erase every inch of the evidence of your deeds, make it disappear like the pool of blood Din once cleaned up while you were sleeping and never acknowledged again. You only allow the bloodstains to fuck with your head for a single moment, and then you swallow back the nausea until you’re a blank slate again and sink to your knees with a rag in your hand. After that, your vision stops focusing and it just becomes red contrasting against gunmetal gray, and you work tirelessly to get rid of all remaining traces of it.
Then you start on the blaster marks, you need them gone. After a few informed attempts at mixing cleaning chemicals, you find one concoction that allows you to wipe them away like they’re nothing more than dirt that got tracked in. The Crest’s oxygen recycling system works overdrive to constantly purify the air so you don’t get high or pass out, but your nose still stings. It’s fine, it’s sterile, it burns a bit but it smells sharp and metallic and keeps you hyper focused on the task at hand.
After that’s done, you pick up the charred blankets and ball them up to throw into the trash vent. You don’t feel anything as you do it. You don’t think about how long it took you to collect these over months and months of being stuck on this ship, how comfortable they were when everything else was industrial and rigid, how many nights you spent with Din curled up in their softness while he breathed easy and warm. Sheets are just luxuries, they can afford to be lost.
Next, you gather your armor and wipe it down with the rag, put it away along with your blaster. The stained robe goes in the trash, along with the sheets and the blood soaked cloth you used to clean everything. They’re all ruined, you’ll never be able to make them right again.
The hull is sparkling clean when you decide to take another shower. Nothing on you is dirty except your hands, but you feel filthy. Wrong, cold, numb, cold, stained, cold.
After scrubbing your skin raw under the water and changing clothes again, since you don’t really know what to do with yourself anymore, you slowly climb the ladder to the cockpit, keeping perfectly silent. When you reach the upper platform and come face to face with the closed door, you can just barely hear Din’s whispered voice speaking quietly to the baby beyond it.
You raise your hand for a moment, hovering your knuckles over the metal, but then it eventually falls. Instead, you look over and spot the corner, the same corner Din bunched himself into when he snapped at you for even suggesting going on a hunt with him, blew up at you for the mere notion of something happening like what happened today. You back yourself into it in defeat and slowly sink down on the floor, resting your head against the metal and hugging your knees to your chest since you don’t have a tiny baby to take their place.
You can’t sleep. You don’t even try, it’s pointless. The concept feels foreign the longer you sit here by yourself. You don’t hear Din or the baby anymore, but you feel… so fucking awful that it’s fitting that you don’t knock or go looking. You don’t want to hold that sweet child with hands that were covered in blood just a few hours ago. You killed more people than you can count on your fingers today, and of the ones who had done nothing wrong… They screamed like younglings, ducked for cover and were able to fire off one single useless shot in the mayhem before you closed their eyes forever and left their bodies to rot in armor that wasn’t ever their choice to wear.
You didn’t know they were kidnapped and smuggled and forced into that situation. You couldn’t have known, but that isn’t the point. In this case, knowing doesn’t make one bit of difference.
You also can’t face Din yet, not like this. You don’t want him to see you cowering, shattered with guilt over the decisions you made under pressure. How will you ever get him to forgive you for not listening to him when you can’t even forgive yourself for the result of your choices? Din is a hardened man who grew up in blasterfire and bloodshed, just because you love him doesn’t mean he’s going to magically become someone he isn’t. You’re here letting guilt sink sharp claws into your chest over four dead men when he had a good fifty or more corpses scattered on the battlefield around him. You decided to wear that armor, you decided to fly into an imperial base with the kid on your lap, and this is now your penance. You’ll accept it with your back straight and your chin held high.
Figuratively, of course. Physically, you’re smaller than you’ve ever been. Crumpled up into a ball, taking up as little space as possible, curling up as tight as you can like an animal protecting all your vulnerable parts during a brutal attack.
So, since he isn’t here to comfort you himself, you just try to think about what he would tell you. A long time ago, what would he tell you?
Din would tell you… that you killed someone. Multiple people, this time. He’d also tell you that it doesn’t matter what he tells you, what you could have reasonably foreseen or what you should have done. The end result won’t change. You own this now. You’ll carry their deaths with you.
You take a few deep breaths, self-soothing with the undeniable truth that would be murmured matter of factly from his quiet voice. He wouldn’t argue with you. He wouldn’t deny the decisions you made or the consequences of them. It happened, and at the end of the day, you either learn how to handle that, or you don’t.
And, for the four you did shoot, you were responsible for freeing ten times that amount. You’re responsible for reuniting Oshua Ryler with his family, even if your place in yours is momentarily shunned. You’d rather be out here alone than in there with the kid, wondering where his dad is or if he’s even still alive. You rescued Din and now he gets to be here to shut this door on you, hold his son, and whisper calm reassurances to him. If you listen really hard and imagine, you can pretend they’re for you, too.
That’s it. Focus on them both, alive and well together. Focus on the bodies wearing white armor that were moving, the ones that were bolting away from the imperial training base as fast as they could, free from the torture of imprisonment and conditioning.
Finally, you close your eyes and slip into unconsciousness. It’s not a testament to your exhaustion, but rather just how long you’ve been left to sit here by yourself. Hours, maybe. Time is strange in hyperspace.
You dream of a faceless man ringing bells.
---
When you wake up, a small baby has been placed in your arms, and you’re being dragged into a strong, secure beskar hold on the floor.
“Din,” you suddenly lift your head as soon as you’re conscious and nearly bonk it into solid metal, apologies rising in your throat before you even remember where you are. You did what needed to be done to keep your family alive and together and you’d do it a thousand times again if necessary, but that doesn’t mean you won’t apologize anyways. After the deeds you’ve committed today, regret feels as natural on your lips as speaking your own name. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I know you’re mad at me but I—”
“Shh,” he whispers, running his gloves through your hair. He’s still wearing his helmet, he hasn’t taken anything off yet. “Don’t say anything. Just… stay here, stay right here with me.”
“I tried to save you,” you croak, tears instantly flooding your eyes. You did save him. You saved him and the baby and yourself but you’re so physically and emotionally exhausted that all you can recall is your intent. “I tried. Wasn’t gonna leave you there by yourself. I tried to be brave, like you—y-you wouldn’t have left without me.”
His arms tighten around you, cradling you in such a strong embrace that you burrow into him, you find a place for your head on the hard metal strapped to him and bury yourself there, wishing that you had shovels of dirt being piled on you to justify the death you still feel staining your soul. Your heart is starting to pound now that you’re remembering, your body is starting to shake with tremors of shock now that you’re aware of your own skin again.
“I was so sc-scared, Din, I didn’t—didn’t know what was happening,” you lament through watery eyes, gasping it out in hopes that it’ll relieve the slightest bit of the gut wrenching guilt just mercilessly crushing you. It caught you before you could protect yourself against it, that armor you built around yourself isn’t on when you first wake up. “I-I didn’t want to kill them, but they were already on the ship and y-you said—you said they were coming after the kid s-so I had to, I had to—”
“Stop,” Din whispers, voice so quiet that you can barely hear him.
“I-I cleaned up the blood,” you turn your face against the cold beskar to let all the positives you listed for yourself before scrape across your throat. They don’t sound comforting anymore, they just sound like excuses. “It’s gone, it’s like it never happened, everything is okay now, I got the quarry, I protected the baby, I saved a bunch of people, you’re both safe—”
“Stop,” he chokes out. The modulator cuts off before you can hear his next breath, but you feel it shudder under your body. “St-Stop it, please.”
Your eyes clench shut so tightly you feel like the streaking stars outside are behind them, tears drop down against his pauldron and you press your face tighter to it like it’s a wound, like the pressure will somehow ease the bleeding.
“Listen to me,” he says very quietly, and you instantly brace yourself. The walls you just let down shoot right back up, your body physically tightens in preparation for another pain, another trauma, another scar you’ll carry, and you stop shaking. You stop breathing, even when his hand comes up to ease your face away from his armor.
“You,” he whispers, holding your chin so you’re staring right at him, and your eyes flick fearfully in between his behind the visor, “are a sweet girl.” Din’s leather thumb brushes along your skin, dragging over the tears below your puffy eyes. “Not,” his voice catches, “a Mandalorian.”
Your heart goes cold. Again, everything turns numb. It doesn’t matter that you already said this yourself out loud earlier today. It doesn’t matter that you acknowledged this fact, verbally insisted it more than once to hammer home the truth and felt some sense of comfort in it. For some reason, hearing the words from his mouth is a fucking knife to your chest.
“I taught you how to fight, how to shoot a blaster,” he murmurs, thumb catching every single tear that continues to fall as he speaks. “I taught you everything I know, everything that’s been taught to me. I taught you how to defend yourself, how to protect yourself when you’re in danger. I gave you your blaster, I gave you my armor, I gave you everything I could give you to keep you safe. And when I thought you were ready, I let you loose on Sanctuary II. Do you know why I did that?” The helmet tips forward the slightest bit at the question, probing deep into the most shattered part of your heart. “After all those months of fighting, and shooting, and training, do you know why I told you to run?”
You blink silently at him, a shaky breath quaking through you, and your expression wants to crumple under the reprimand. You’re so fragile right now, taking hit after hit after hit to the softest parts inside you, and you want to just give up. Let the guilt and remorse take you, let it wash you away. But then, instead…
There’s a flicker of something inside you. Something strong, endlessly strong, and it makes you want to revolt against what he’s saying. It replaces the hurt and fear and desperation for comfort with a strange sense of insurgence, like it did earlier when you were hiding behind a boulder, cowering and trembling and not wanting to die. You’re filled with a quiet urge to defend yourself in the face of this, stand up for yourself and refuse to be beaten down any longer.
“Because you needed to know how to escape danger,” he answers himself when you don’t. “You needed to know how to disappear, how to outsmart any pursuer and find safety, even the trained ones. Especially the trained ones. Anything else was meant to be your last resort. Not your choice. Not something you chose.”
“I couldn’t leave you,” you admit to him quietly, voice shaky and tears still coming even as you try to speak up for yourself. The regret you carry has nothing to do with this, and you decide right now that you won’t feel bad for saving him. Your hurt comes from the meaningless things, the ones without any need whatsoever, not the necessary ones, and you tried. You repeated his words to yourself over and over again, told yourself to run, told yourself to get to Nevarro, and it wasn’t going to happen. “I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t a choice.”
“It was,” he tells you. He says it softly, whispers it like it’s the gentlest thing in the world, but the power and inherent distance of the armor strapped to his body finds its way into the words. “And it was the wrong one.”
“What was I supposed to do?” You ask, just a hint of that rebellion swimming to the surface now, rising out of the waves of self doubt, the one that feels like a spine growing in your back, an energy coursing through your veins that makes your heart start to beat faster. Din’s hand slowly drops from your cheek but you don’t care. “Was I supposed to run away and just let you die?”
“Yes.” It’s quick and blunt and completely emotionless. Delivered like a punch to the vulnerable parts of yourself he taught you how to protect, and the utter silence following this single word is comparable to the physical pain you learned to defend against. It jabs hard against everything good and sweet and tender inside of you, and you’re left speechless even as he continues impassively. “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do.”
It takes a second, but then that unfamiliar feeling suddenly surges up, breaches with the power of an entire ocean. Your voices may be nothing more than whispers in the dark, you may be clinging to each other, holding each other with the softest, gentlest love in your hearts, but the strength of your conviction on this would rip metal apart.
“No.” The word holds the might of your entire being, and it stands alone and defiant in the face of everything you fear, everything that threatens you, him, and this child. Never. You’ll die before that happens. “I love you, and there’s nothing in this galaxy that would ever make me do that. Not fear, not danger, not the Empire, nothing. Not even you.”
Din stares at you. His visor reflects your hardened expression back to you, the force in your soul and the purpose in your eyes, and you don’t even realize the gravity of what you just said because like your love for him, gravity is a constant. It’s a fundamental truth cemented into the rules that govern your actions and it stays true no matter where you are, no matter what terror you face, or how scared you become. You have him, you have this little boy in your arms, and if that’s all you have, then you have everything.
After an eternity of this, of feeling his eyes pierce deep into you from behind the helmet while you refuse to wither under his stare, you watch him slowly turn and look down, landing on the sleepy child tucked between you both. He holds there for a long time, before finally whispering, so quiet that the modulator barely picks it up, “It was the wrong choice.”
You stay quiet. It happened. What’s done is done, you can’t change the past. He can scold and reprimand you about this as much as he wants, but you did the right thing and that decision is the only reason he’s even here to be able to do so. This exhausted child was reunited with his father because of your choices, and this exhausted father was reunited with his child. You won’t argue anymore, but it’s a certitude that lives deep in your heart now, builds a home there right alongside the both of them. Din eventually looks up, his eyes find yours again behind the visor, and his hand rises once more to gently cup your jaw.
“I… thought I’d enjoy seeing you in my armor,” Din finally whispers. It’s not what you expected, but his voice sounds… weak. Broken. “You wore mine once before, and it was…” He brushes his thumb along your cheek, and then his head shakes slightly, pushing the thought away. “It wasn’t real. It didn’t fit. It dwarfed you, it made you look out of place, it made everything soft and innocent about you stand out. I liked it because it wasn’t real.”
“Was it… really that bad?” You whisper back, partially to ease the tension just slightly but quickly breaking eye contact with him when you realize it doesn’t land correctly, it just sounds self conscious and sad. You try to find that conviction again, that strength and assurance that propped you up so sturdily before, but… Not a Mandalorian, he’d said. Of course not. Of course not.
“It wasn’t the armor.” Din gently tugs up on your face so that you look at him again. “It was you covered in blood. It was you purposefully putting yourself in danger. You killed multiple armed soldiers of the Empire, you dragged their bodies off the ship. And then you flew into an imperial base, where you killed the officers, too. You…” He shakes his head slowly at you while speaking, and although you can’t see his face, you don’t need to in order to hear the horror in his voice. “You… collected a quarry… in the middle of a massacre, sweet girl.”
Not a Mandalorian.
“You don’t chase down bounties,” he tells you. “You don’t fly into war zones. You don’t kill imperials, you don’t collect quarries, you don’t sacrifice yourself, or our son, to save me. You said you tried to be brave… like me.” His fingers tighten against your cheek, he dips his helmet to make sure you understand. “I’ll never ask you to be brave. I’ll ask you to survive.”
“I’m… sorry,” you finally whisper, and his arm drops from your cheek to join the other in wrapping around you and holding tight. They hug you and squeeze, encasing you and the baby in a beskar shield and staying there for a long time. Long enough for you to tuck your head back into its proper place under his helmet, long enough to start to feel okay with the silence again. It brutalized you the last time you were surrounded by it, it made you feel alone and desolate and barren inside. You greet it warily now, settling into it for an unknown amount of time until it’s forgiven once more.
After a while, Din quietly breaks it.
“How many?” He murmurs to you. You already know exactly what he’s asking, there's no more clarification necessary on his behalf.
You slowly close your eyes and think back to the smoldering craters, the blood soaked ramp, the fear in Oshua Ryler’s eyes as he begged you not to kill him.
“That didn’t deserve it?” You ask, clenching your eyes tighter at the memory. “Four.”
And maybe, maybe six or eight months ago, you would’ve begged for some guidance on how to reconcile that. Hell, maybe a few hours ago, you could’ve used his arms around you exactly like this, his low voice repeating the same things he’s already told you before, over and over again, if only for some semblance of stability when everything feels turbulent and uncertain. You’ll never be able to change it, though. This belongs to you now.
This time, all Din says is, “I’m sorry, too.”
And that covers everything.
The silence envelops you both again, but… there’s something else. Something that still sits deep in your worries, an image that isn’t a scar of what’s happened but a dread of what’s to come. You need to tell him. You don’t feel like saying it, you don’t want to speak it aloud for fear of bringing it into existence, but you need to tell him.
“Din?” You breathe out, and he makes a soft noise in his throat while cuddling you on the floor. “I saw…,” you whisper, every word sitting tight and reluctant in your throat. “Right when we made the jump, I was looking through the window and I-I saw…”
“A star destroyer.” He says it like… like it’s the worst thing in the world and also completely expected at the same time. He says it like he already knew, yet can’t even imagine. You lean every bit of your weight against him since you can’t hold him in return, squish him as best you can against the small corner and curl up even tighter in his arms for comfort.
He takes a deep breath, a shuddery sound you don’t think you’ve ever heard him make before. It holds untold anxiety, unsaid conflict, uncertain action, an unknown path forward.
“I don’t know what to do,” Din eventually whispers to himself, to you, to the baby in your arms. His voice is barely a breath through the modulator, his fingers digging into your skin with how many emotions he’s repressing. “What do I do?”
He sounds so distressed that you automatically feel your soul find the floor—instantly, you become steady and calm and you locate all that rationality that kept you going today. All your worries still twist deep down, all the guilt and the turmoil wrestles with your soft, easy nature until you can only find bits and pieces of it in the most vulnerable places inside you, but if he’s struggling this terribly, then the least you can do is offer some good, true, unwavering faith in times of uncertainty. You’re in hyperspace, everything worked out, and it’s going to stay that way for right now. If he doesn’t know how to talk about it yet, then you trust him enough to wait for him.
“It’ll be okay,” you tell him with a newfound confidence and purpose, carefully easing the baby into one arm so that the other can find its way to the other side of his helmet and pull him closer. Din tucks his head and allows you to brush your lips against the metal, whisper the words soft and steady to him. “We’ll figure it out together.”
---
@cptnbvcks thank you so much for the incredible art!
#the mandalorian#the mandalorian x you#the mandalorian x reader#din djarin#din djarin x you#din djarin x reader#mando x reader#mando x you#reader insert#fanfic#star wars#rough day#no-droids
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