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swaqcenix · 4 months

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The Devil was an Angel First | N. Romanoff

Natasha Romanoff x fem!stripper reader

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Summary: It was a risk and a job worth taking, simply use your ability to seduce to earn enough money to get you your university degree. Yet you didn't anticipate the owner of the strip-club to take a significant interest in you, but what can she do? As soon as Natasha saw you, you were hers.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x!fem stripper reader, employee x boss, forbidden romance

Warnings: 18+, slight dark!natasha romanoff, manipulation, strip-teasing, lap-dancing, pole-dancing, fingering, semi-public sex, oral (n to r), mommy kink, strap-on, choking,degrading, over-stimulation, handcuffs and toys, reader is easily manipulated!

Word Count: 9K

AN: This is heavily inspired by the song Pray by Xana, you could listen to it while reading this to get an extra bit of the atmosphere ;)) Also I wil be taking small requests or drabbles for this specific fic/pairing as I'm secretly addicted to this concept.. (not so secretly.)

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Slipping amongst the crowds, your eyes dart around the room as the sounds of the club itself echo through your body. The lighting was illuminating each corner of the room, but stopping in certain bleak shadow's contrasting well with those who put on a performance.

The smell of slick sweat and hot bodies mingling through the room made your nose twitch through instinct and it was around this time your mind was wondering whether this was the right call.

University had been always your major goal in life, pass through High-school get your qualifications and your grades, just don't fuck up. For most of your life you'd remained hidden in the shadows, contempt to live life remaining hidden away while the flashlight of beams hit the sky's ground touching everything but yourself.

Yet apparently life deemed it not apparent that this was the case for you. Instead when your family collided into debuts and the household becoming a simply standing memory of what once was and never could be's you knew the longing for snatching your degree's up in higher education was slipping like fog and air through your fingers.

Would that be a common knowledge concept and reality to turn towards darker paths? Well, darker in regards to your family's eye-line anyway. You simply saw it as an opportunity for people who enjoyed doing things their own way, their own style and didn't wish to follow into the lights of the sky like others we're unique.

Your family wouldn't be appreciating your actions but it didn't matter. It realistically couldn't no matter how much they perhaps frowned at the idea. You could perhaps go into depth of how it wasn't selling your body but allowing it to be seen, allowing others to get a taste of the salt and the the aroma of flavours their hearts desire, but never fully satisfied.

Pole-Dancing wasn't something you'd be opposed to doing by any means. Watching the way they drift through the air, holding onto the bar with such pristine confidence and high agility hit your stomach in all the right ways. Nimble and soft fingers holding onto the pole with such grace their body's dancing into the fire of the night, other's moving with grace and affirmation.

The men and women watching their every action their every step with such a wide eye their lustful thoughts screaming with such a power your own ears rang. Black stiletto's clinging to the poles with a strength that made you doubt your own abilities despite having the darkest of secrets lingering on thoughts.

Quiet girls always tend to have the deepest of desires, the fieriest of personality. The set determination on being quiet, being forgotten and not wanting to be seen always portrays just how difficult life could dance around in a sea of wonder and mystery.

The air smelt so much of blood sweat and tears, the smoke driving the fuel into everyone's body, an ignition lighting up. You turned towards the bar deciding to opt on a drink, probably a hardcore whiskey if you wanted to get through this alive and sane, the burning feeling would ground you heavily to reality.

Turning on your heels, your contrasting deep-blood heels clacked heavily on the floor, treading with a walk that helped you do the one thing you'd avoided doing. Being seen.

Eyes watched, heads tilted and words of whisper drifted across the room as you brought the attention away from the other worker's sensing some hard glares and other longing looks. It was no secret you had the looks, it was just never in your cards, not your line of sight, but the devil didn't always play with fire until pushed within the flames.

"Whiskey neat please," your voice was firm and held no conversation for an argument.

The barman glanced at you and you simply watched as his eyes glanced at you, looking you up and down. You could practically feel the budge in his pants grow from here and the self-refraining you were doing from rolling your eyes was repulsing.

You weren't about to start off your first time in this place by pissing off the men you could encounter more often in telling them you not into indulging in their acts. Explaining to men who couldn't understand the word no when it comes to simply not being interested in them was not a path you cared to go down for the time being, instead settling on biting your tongue.

Sure, it didn't mean you couldn't make some impressions around here though. You'd already made a rather splendid entrance by sauntering around capturing lingering eyes of the men and women which allowed your red tinted lips to tilt upwards.

The barman worked nimbly, his hands being heavy but not without meaning as he flipped bottles around like he was performing an act. Normally this would entice most women to jump for joy and use some ogle eyes towards him. However, you were in fact not most women, you simply walked through the world of shadows until you decided to finally allow the light to kiss your skin in all the right areas.

He slowly slid the drink down to you as you tossed him the dollar bills owed and sauntered off in means to find the owner of this establishment. The music moved above you like puppet's on a string as you did your best to try and move through the blinding strobe lights and bodies mingling into one.

Guessing that the owner would find you before you found them, your body decided to make it's way over to a table waiting for them to arrive with introductions, you crossed your legs simply playing with the bottom of the whiskey glass, swirling it around for play as you chucked it down your throat.

The feeling of the burn hit you instantly and you squinted for a moment before a heavy sigh escaped the opening of your lips leaning back in the chair once again becoming one with the shadows. Besides the demons in everyone else's heads seemed to be having their own rituals one of which you weren't enticed on indulging in such acts.

The approaching sound of heels made your body almost churn with anxiety for reasons currently unknown to you.

The approaching sound of heels made your body almost churn with anxiety for reasons currently unknown to you. Doing well to not attract attention you glanced through your glass trying to picture who was approaching and a flash of red curls took through the reflection.

Your lips tilted upwards in a mischievous smirk as you leaned back in your seat, a feeling of excitement coursing through your veins. Your mind wandered as you presumed the mystery woman was approaching ready to allure you into sinful acts of seduction and dance through desire into the night.

Instead, what was not predicted was the black stiletto heels coming to a stand still right behind your table, a hot and heavy breath lingering in your ear. Your body tensed and you felt the smirk dripping from the woman behind you as you tilted your head turning around to be met with someone who should be the devil in disguise, one to lure you entirely out of the shadows and touch the fires to ignite you entirely.

"You must be Y/N. Y/LN. I am Natasha Romanoff, Miss Romanoff to you. Owner of Desiring ignition. I will interview you in the back rooms if you don't mind?" her voice asking a question but orders slipping from the sinful tongue.

Your body moved before your lips did and you found yourself following after the redhead like an obedient dog, for a minute forgetting yourself entirely and not thinking, just acting like a string was tugging you along.

Her red hair was distinctive even against the darkened tone of the room, the lights dimming in and out didn't affect it as it shone like fire and ash, the devil reincarnated you knew. Her hips swayed with an intent to drive a man wild but in a way she didn't wish for any of them, simply alluding to her own intoxicating beauty, poison and toxic.

The eyes followed you both and you scampered after her down a neon-purple hallway, the colour's almost blinding you within a trance. Finding your bearings you knew you'd need to pull yourself together if you wanted this job so decided to play in the same game, the same chess board. Play with the devil.

Her hands clasped tightly around the handle as Miss Romanoff lead you into what you presumed to be her office before shutting the door behind her. The noise seemed to almost be drowned out now, as though she'd installed noise cancellation into her office.

Your eyes scanned the room trying to analyse and get anything you could on this woman. You'd always liked to get to know someone through their surroundings and what that said person associates themselves with, especially if it works in your favour.

The office itself was dimly lit but well cleaned and decorated minimally. To your left there was a desk, mahogany coloured with 2 chairs on ether side, the desk holding files that your eyes couldn't capture from the distance you stood. A solemn picture held itself strongly on the desk of what you could make out to be a younger blonde woman, perhaps the same age as you or a couple years older.

The redhead nodded her head towards the chair on the other side of her desk, before sitting down on a black leather one herself. Even sat down in the dimly lit office you could tell she was a woman of business, not one to be meddled with nor to cross without paying the price which for yourself was bad given your track record of loving to stir the pot.

Her eyes lingered over your own for a while examining you, looking you up and down in a way your body almost jolted at the sheer intensity of her gaze. Not wanting to keep the older woman wanting any longer, your feet moved on the own accord sitting down on the chair opposite of her. Her posture was still up straight, impossibly held and elegant opposite of your own.

"So," she began by looking through your files as though you'd be arrested under a warrant issued for the most wanted criminal.

"You've got good grades from schools, a track record of not seeming to show herself within public eye and even held debates and meetings within clubs. Your jobs previously consist of coffee shops and waiting so what exactly is it you have to offer here," she stated her voice was laced with disdain and annoyance.

"Well that's correct yes, but I have goals in life and things I need to achieve. I can't get there without doing this first, trust me it's a last resort," you replied cringing inwardly at your response.

It was a stupid mistake you'd created by saying this job was a last resort. That would be the last thing this goddess of a pain was waiting to hear, especially when wanting to employ you. You'd fucked up royally but like she stated, you had a tendency for debate clubs and there was nothing better you were good at than worming you way into or out of situations.

Her eyebrows shot upwards at your response and you watched with fear as the redhead perused her lips together eyeing you once again with a look of utter irritation.

"So you see us as a last resort?" She asked stiffly.

"No, nothing like that-" you tried to reason but her hand waved in the air dismissing your comment before you'd began.

"Y/L/N. Do you know how many people come here asking for jobs hm?" Her head titled to the side lips twitching while watching you squirm.

"No..."

"Over 200. How many do you reckon we employ exactly?"

The venom and toxic poison in her voice almost sent you spiralling you couldn't help but feel entirely hooked on it. Yet the feeling in your mind told you to run, leave before you headed down the road of embarrassment and utter danger.

"I'm not sure, Miss Romanoff," you voice was surprisingly even for someone being scolded in a private office room.

"The answer is 4% out of those 200 get employed. Yet, a silly girl like you walks along struts in like she owns the fucking place and says it's a last resort," she taps her finger on the side of her face mockingly.

"No.. I can dance and I'm incredibly talented on a pole," you tried to reason but she once again shushed you in a dismissive tone.

"You're dismissed off you go," she shooed you off and your legs stood by themselves your mind no longer in control of your body.

As your body walked towards the door head daring not to look back your hands went towards the door handle, before lingering on the metal for a moment. Your mind danced away thinking of thoughts and how you couldn't give up so easily. You came in this bar, this strip-club looking for a job and you'd be damned to go without one. Sure the woman behind you was a stole cold bitch, but she came with fire. You had the gasoline to set this place alight.

Turning on your heels, you faced the older woman who went from looking down at her files with disinterest to whipping her head up. Miss Romanoff tilted her head to the side as you approached with a surge of confidence that you didn't know you had running through your veins setting your blood alight. Your body leaning over her desk you smirked as she watched and you could sense her tense beneath you.

"Let me show you what I can do," your voice was whispered with sultry and laced with such confidence that was missing moments ago.

The redhead thought for a moment, her lips twitching ever so slightly at the sides before tilting up. She removed herself from her chair carrying her composure elegantly as ever before entering your personal space.

"Be my guest, show me what you can do," she smirked.

Before you could even blink, Miss Romanoff snatched your hand and lead you out of her office towards one of the unoccupied rooms. The sparks you felt when her hand clasped your hand and rising towards your wrist jolted your stomach giving you somersault's.

She on the other hand, snatched her hand away as quickly as she took it and you weren't sure why that caused such a sting within you. The older woman wasn't required to touch you in any way, but her response was as though she'd been burnt in opposition to your own body's reaction wanting to feel her touch ignite you more.

Suddenly the vast realisation of reality crashed down on you and your stomach churned in thought. Your mindset couldn't be thinking this type of way in any shape or form towards someone who could perhaps be your boss. This wasn't about to become some cliche film style where you fuck your boss, you couldn't give her that style of power.

Yet, as you let your mind indulge further in thoughts, she wasn't your boss. Not yet and not now, besides if you wanted this job a thirst to prove yourself to the flames of hell as she was, you were going to have to join the game.

Heading further down the hall, Natasha stopped at the door to her left and you titled your head in anticipation. The feeling of not knowing what you could possibly find was always thrilling yet had an edge of dread that filled your lungs and ran through your veins.

Observing her silently, you watched the redhead slip out a singular key from her pocket before slipping it with ease into the lock and turning it. Her hand which you tried definitely too hard to not focus on wrapped around the handle turning it before standing to the side awaiting you to head inside.

Silently entering the room, you found yourself coming to a sudden halt at the sight that stood before you. A singular pole stood in the middle of the room, tall and with a bolden look about it almost calling to you begging you to dance upon it. Towards the corner of the room lay what you predicted to be a lot of BDSM toys ranging from handcuffs and blindfolds to nipple clamps and leg spreaders.

Your cheeks flushed heavily at the sight as heat ran through your body and you found yourself turning away from the toys, eyes instead landing on a chaise lounge. The furniture was a deep red, crimson in fact darkened like the blood flushing heavily through your veins, perhaps darker than Ms Romanoff's hair. Turning your head in her direction you realised she'd been watching your reaction as you absorbed and gawked at the room, causing you to flush even further.

The older woman simply smirked at you before making her way over to the chaise lounge, looking you up and down in what you originally thought was a judgmental look now seemed otherwise, before sitting with determination down onto the chair.

For a moment it was silence as she only stared at you examining you for a mere moments that felt like hours before rolling her eyes and scoffing. Her hand raised upwards as her index finger- that looked incredible you might add- came out and directed at the pole giving you a pointed look. Realisation hit your face and you realised what the redhead was asking of you, which caused all sorts of emotions to run through your head.

She was asking you to to give a full example of how you'd dance within her club, within her line of work and show yourself. Normally this wouldn't be a bother as you'd come to a damn strip-club for god sake, but it was the idea of dancing alone with her that sent your nerves spiralling and your body shaking beneath you.

Still, there was no point in arguments, you'd been the one to suggest showing her, but in hopes of a more lively atmosphere. Instead Miss. Romanoff had lead you to a secluded room one of which held what you predicted secrets hiding within the 4 walls for you to dance in.

Sucking in a tight breath you closed your eyes tightly shut counting to 3 before opening them once more. Getting your bearings around you, you strutted to the pole making sure to remove the jacket that clung tightly to your skin hugging you in all the right places. The jacket was placed to the side of Natasha and you tried not to smirk too much at the feeling of her eyes travelling over your form.

Her body stood up, walking over to a speaker in the corner causing you body to tense up slightly. If it was too loud it was sure to cause an uproar of attention that in this current moment you didn't want. Your mind was too focused on earning the approval and the full attention of the redhead selfishly to yourself despite wishing that you didn't indulge in such sinful acts.

You removed your pants, leaving yourself in only your polo shirt and underwear, trying your best not to make any sort of contact with her. You could have done pole-dancing in your pants but it wasn't a risk worth taking if you didn't want any slip ups and needed the grip. Instead you walked over to the pole closing your eyes tightly before opening them and glancing over at Miss Romanoff.

Her head was tilted to the side and you were almost convinced her eyes that you noticed earlier were the shade of emerald green like the piercing ground of earth were almost charcoal now, luring you into the mist of hazing sinful creatures and touching the igniting flame. Instead of contemplating thoughts any longer you let out a mere nod towards the older woman and she smirked turning on a song that widened your eyes as, girls girls girls by FLETCHER began to echo through the room.

Trying to once again ignore the intriguing implications behind the song you stepped forward flexing your hand back and forth continuously before gripping onto the pole tightly with your left hand. Your fingers curled instinctively around the metal bar and you cleared your mind. One of the first things you'd learnt about dancing and when understanding how to use the effective ways of pole-dancing was don't think just act.

You let your mind carry through the music eliciting the illusions of thoughts and song's as your body carried you through. You started off smoothly, swinging your way seductively around the pole keeping your outside leg straight before pivoting your inside foot at the same time.

Your mind carried through song as the beat's began to pick up, your outside foot worked through muscle memory hooking around the pole before your other joined gripping tightly.

As soon as you felt your body securely fitted on the pole your hips moved in ways of wonder as though art itself couldn't touch through paintings of masterpieces. Your back arched and your hip swayed in beat swinging yourself around the pole before your body flipped itself in ways of wonder, dancing and spinning with everything it had.

The song slowly began to draw to a close and it was then your eyes chose to linger from being shut as you made your distinctive signature move, swinging yourself around with a grace you didn't know was within you. Your body swung from the top to the bottom of the pole in the most seductive way possible as your fingers crossed over, before your eyes drifted to the red head.

It took everything within you not to let out a shit-eating grin when you noticed the gawking from Miss Romanoff who looked like she was ready to eat you up whole. Given any other circumstances you would have flushed or felt self-conscious, but instead you embraced the feeling of confidence as you gently slithered off the pole a laugh almost sliding past your lips.

You sauntered over to the older woman, teasing leaning over her body to grab your jacket only to be yanked down onto the couch. You felt the blood run course through your body you heart pounding so loudly you'd not be surprised if she could hear it herself. The room came to a heated silence, the tension thick and easily cut with a knife. Natasha's hand came up to cup your jaw tilting it to the side almost as though she wanted to judge that part of you too, or better yet distract herself from what she was initially going to do.

"Tomorrow, 8:30pm your shift will begin. I recommend not arriving late, or better yet arrive earlier to prepare yourself. You work hours will differ but tomorrow you'll be finishing at 3:30am. Understand sweetheart?" Her voice husked out and you were almost putty in her hands once more.

Your head nodded unconsciously, the primal instinct in you roaring to obey your now boss's instructions. The feeling of disgust ran through your body at the realisation of what you'd just performed despite it being your job area now. It wasn't the fact you'd pole-danced it was the secluded room and the song that made your body squirm.

The redhead seemed to thrive in amusement on that power and you weren't sure whether the heat that ran to your core was feelings you wished you didn't have or anger that turned into the feeling of lust, perhaps both. Her hand tightened on your chip ever so slightly to the point you thought her nails may cause intends within your skin, marking like a hot poker within it.

"Oh no, none of that. You use words to me okay? So do you understand dorogaya?" her tone showed no time from you for disagreement.

"Yes, I understand Miss. Romanoff," your voice was strong and assertive despite inside your body was a mess of sweat and utter chaos.

Natasha leaned back, stretching her arms across the couch staring at you for a moment before taking her lip between her teeth, clamping down hard. The sight was enough to send a hot gush of wetness between your legs and your mind screamed at you in retaliation, she was your boss. Her teeth gently let her lips go with a pop before standing up and walking up to the door, swinging it open with ease staring back at you with an expected look.

"Good girl," she whispered out her lips tilting up dangerously as your fixed your tousled hair that had become slightly damaged from dancing.

Your body reacted once more to the words almost jolting in response, but you did well to keep yourself refrained and intact. Instead you simply grabbed your belongings nodding towards the woman and headed straight for the main exit. Perhaps the acts you were prepared to partake in was deemed as sinful and immoral, you wouldn't give so much as a glance if they were. It felt like the devil was standing their glaring into your soul and you didn't care for anything else other than entering the gates and feeling the flames wrap around your body.

The next evening went as smooth as it could, the blasting of the music as your body danced in between of time to the tunes. Your personal favourite was the one's that went sensual before picking pace as it allowed you to do your signature moved before flaunting around people in a seductive manner. You'd thrived on how the men and women gawked at your, eyes popping out of their heads, drooling from the mouth like you were a treat they had to have.

Fellow colleague's had taken up on asking advice, specifically your new favourite Wanda who you added on further inspection was quite a looker. The way she'd bounce her brunette curls around her face as she danced into the night like nobody was watching always had you admiring her.

She herself had wanted tips from you, always seemingly interested by your dancing to the way you move on a pole, her eyes always lingering in sheer awe and amazement as though you personally had placed each star drifting through the sky. Yet, you always felt another pair of eyes, heavy and dark lingering in the shadows.

It was the type of shadow you'd spent your whole life hiding within but this aspect was dangerous. It felt cold mixed with fire alike, bonding in ways it shouldn't mix. The soul being ice and chilled to the bone with fire in the centre waiting to burn itself from the ground up. You constantly sensed the lingering eyes on your body but chose to ignore it, for you knew the consequences of the danger, you knew who those eyes belonged to you just couldn't face them to admit it.

It continued for the next week until Saturday came faster than anticipated. Your legs carried you through the building with ease and a sense of calm now almost as though you'd been there for years. In reality you'd become rather content with the building of Desiring ignition. You'd scarcely interacted with Natasha though, (thank god.)

It wasn't the exact concept of fearing the woman, no it wasn't that. It was the way she made you feel. It was like feeling towards the devil, it's forbidden you see red with anger, lust the picture painted of danger and intoxicating aroma.

You'd done well in avoiding the older woman but she did appear to be making it easer than anticipated, despite knowing the one hiding in the shadows, lingering not wishing to be seen but knowing you felt her presence seemed to enough for the older woman.

You had settled on something different this time, usually not opting for dresses preferring to dress loose but certainly stylish all the same. However this time, you'd decided to rock the boat and you weren't sure why.

Instead you'd settled on a deep emerald green, darkened than usual but curved around your body clinging in all the right ways. The anticipation and adrenaline of the reactions you'd receive left your mind racing, despite not wanting to show anything off entirely. Definitely not for her..

Directing yourself towards the bar, you walked over greeting who you'd now become accustomed to know as Bucky. He actually was opposing to what you expected after your encounter on the first night, he was just hesitant of newcomers. Instead now you'd become close to the man always offering a term of greeting.

"Same as usual?" He questioned winking as you both knew it was wrong to drink on the job.

Albeit it was hardly your fault, when it came to this job and work environment you'd hardly be faulted for having the odd drink to get by. Most days we're enjoyable, the women ogling over you and many wanting to touch what their desired hearts couldn't reach, like seeing a pebble in the ocean before the sea carries it out, perfectly sculpted but not yours to own.

Your lips curved up into a smirk filled with fire and mischief, the look of mystery plastered all over your face. Not a word spoken, your head nodded into his direction and Bucky nodded once in return. His body moved swiftly, preparing a small yet rather what the average person would deem an intoxicating strong drink for yourself as he slid it over.

Taking your drink you sipped away at it as you made your way onto the floor, seemingly into the sea of people. It was busy & you only knew it was going to get busier. Besides; you had an hour to kill before even remotely starting your shift so you might as well busy yourself.

It started simple, sitting down mingling with guests, eyeing up who was necessarily your desire for the night. All you needed was the money, even with the weighing guilt that sometimes poured over your head you needed to make your way into the world.

God only knows how you'd found yourself onto the dance floor, one moment you were sipping on your drink waiting for the beginning of your shift the next you were dragged onto the dance floor by a taller and seemingly older brunette. Her hands were dragging across your waist causing your face to flush.

Were you sure you were entirely within protocols here? Not at all, yet there was no rules you couldn't dance with the paying guests before your own night began. Though you were indeed certain Miss. Romanoff may cause some issues with this.

Alcohol wasn't even the reason for your confidence, it felt like something was drawing you to push boundaries that night to tempt yourself into desired that you shouldn't cross. You could say you don't bring your guests into the bedsheets like you do your demons but as the brunette's hands grazed across your stomach for a moment you short circuited.

You found your head tilting an angle towards Bucky's direction who was eyeing you with a concerned expression painted upon his face. His frown that narrowed through his forehead, eyes giving a dangerous tone, almost trying to warn you.

Still, you shrugged it off instead allowing the touch of another burn your skin though whether it was a burn of desire or the burn of hell you weren't sure. You were playing with the fires of lucifer here & partially enjoying yourself. Lips grazed slightly over your neck, almost allowing you to loose yourself instantly without a sudden care or thought.

People were silencing around you within beats of the music, like a chill had passed down from a frost bite. They were parting like royalty had arrived themselves, but you were completely unaware in your own mindset in your own thoughts.

Lips grazed your neck sloppily, yet it burnt like an ignition hell fire in your skin. Yet your mind was dancing somewhere else or better yet, someone else. It was like someone snapped a finger, as within a second like you'd blinked an eye and the warmth from behind you disappeared.

Widening your eyes, you opened them but a hand snatched you spinning you straight into a body. You stumbled forward legs like jelly, hands still shaking with adrenaline as their perfume invaded your senses. It was a sexy perfume smell no doubt, the aroma making it's way into your nose poisoning you. You'd almost breathed in, wanting more of the intoxicating taste of it, yet that wouldn't be ve-

Shit. Shit, shit shit.

If your suspicions were correct, which you were highly convinced they were then the perfume and the person you'd been dragged into was someone you dreaded finding you in that compromising position. A whisper drew you from the dread in the pit of your stomach and your stressing mindset as they leaned towards you.

"Enjoying yourself darling?" The voice carried the familiar edge you dreaded.

The feeling of bile rose in your throat from sheer anxiety and you gulped hard to keep yourself at bay. Slowly looking up, your eyes met the all too familiar green ones.. One's you could get lost in and fantasise about consi-

No, not to be thought of right now.

Her eyebrows were arched consistently and the familiar look of a stern facial expression was painted on your Boss's, Miss. Romanoff's face. Her lips were painted a blood deep red and the blush on her cheeks were making your legs like jelly, let alone your stomach's feeling of somersaults.

"I..." Stuttering voices was all you could muster right now.

A swift finger placed on your lips was all it took for your cheeks to hear up and you were certainly an embarrassing jumble of mess in front of her and everyone around you.

"Shh," her voice carried an authoritative tone but you were almost certain you could sense a lace of.. jealousy?

Surely that was an impossibility; she had nothing to be jealous about besides she was your boss, albeit a damn sexy one. Reality hitting back to you slowly you sensed the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and wanted in that moment for the ground to swallow you whole.

Gone was that confident attitude you easily found yourself mustering up to her, instead replaced with a timid jealous woman wanting nothing more but to run for your life. Your eyes didn't dare leave hers despite their sea of pure intensity and fire, though you didn't think you were capable of looking away even if you tried to.

A quick flick of her hand could be seen from your peripheral vision and as if someone had press play on a remote, the crowds resumed. Colleagues danced on laps, poles and bar stools while the noise resumed like they'd been frozen in time.

Before you even had the chance to speak, you were spun back around rather forcefully. However rather than letting you go, her hands yanked you flush against her chest, allowing you to feel her radiant body heat and the heat to come back to your cheeks once more.

Hands roamed over your body while her lips moved to your ear, a sultry almost lustful voice following suite.

"Well well, what was that little stunt hm? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for private shows not giving a full on public display of borderline sex," she snapped though her hands still cupped your hips.

"I.. I can explain..."

Her hands cupped your clothed cunt causing you to cut your sentence off and gasp out. Embarrassingly, your body jerked forward into her hand showing how putty you were, easily giving into your boss.

"No, no I don't think so. You wanted a public stunt like that hm? Who's breasts are these?"

Her hand moved up to cup them, needing them through your dress causing you to almost cry out. You couldn't lie, you were grateful for the atmosphere being so loud and disoriented otherwise you'd have cried out from sheer embarrassment.

"M-Mine," you whispered through a half gasp earning you to feel her knee rub you subtly once more in your lower region.

"Wrong answer, don't get it wrong again hm?" She said through semi-gritted teeth and your body melted back into her.

Unsure of the adrenaline you had coursing through your veins you spun around and found some form of confidence in you to cup her own lower region.

"Yours," you whisper-shouted back due to the strength of the music, though your voice partially wavered.

It was obvious she was caught off guard through the sheer surprise that danced like the force of nature the wind dancing with the trees on a stormy night. Miss.Romanoff's lips tilted upwards into a smirk and without a word or a warning her hand clasped onto yours and you were being pulled swiftly down corridors.

Everything seemed to pass you buy in a blur as you had no recollection of one door to the next, nor did you dare to look at any faces glancing and gawking your way. Simply you decided to be an obedient little thing and follow Miss. Romanoff towards wherever she was leading you.

Suddenly, you came to a halt in front of a locked door slowly coming to the realisation this was Miss.Romanoff's personal room; no one was ever allowed to enter. A surge of some sort of excitement flooded the course of your veins in some way as she led you through.

Locking it behind her she pointed to her own personal chaise lounge and you obediently followed her instructions like a lost puppy, almost falling over your own feet to get to it. A low chuckle left her lips sending chills upon chills down your spine and embarrassingly hitting your core (that was probably now soaked.)

"Miss Romanoff I don't know if this is-"

"Natasha," she cut you off instantly smirking at you.

You gawked at the older woman like she'd just spoken in a foreign language. However she brushed it off, slowly approaching you like an animal would it's prey. Lifting your chin up she grinned down at you like a cheshire cat before huskily speaking.

"Call me Natasha. Though I'd also prefer to be called a different name, can your pretty little brain think of what that is?" She asked lustfully.

Gulping you had a smart idea, but didn't want to ask a stupid question. So you kept your mouth shut but apparently Natasha had other idea's towards your 'misbehaviour.'

"Colour," her voice was softer for a moment only by a slight tone but you sensed it.

It almost made you crack for a moment and come to your senses. An employee couldn't- shouldn't sleep with their boss. Yet, as you believed earlier the devil was technically an angel first and you wanted to touch the fire, you wanted her to touch you. However, it was evidence you were taking too long as you'd received an arched eyebrow and she grabbed you firmly by the chin awaiting her answer.

"Green but.. this is wrong you're my.."

A gasp cut you off as she placed her lips instantly on your neck biting down hard before sucking. You felt Natasha's lips trail up and down biting an area she could, knowing instantly it was going to leave a mark. Moans elicited past your lips as you found your head slowly adjusting to give more access.

She sucked and nipped at your skin like her life depended on it, it was intoxicating. She was starting a fire within you no one else could ever ignite. Natasha kissed her way back up to your face before whispering sultry into your earlobe.

"Now you want to keep your job don't you, you want to be a good girl for me?"

"Y-Yes I do Natasha," you went to move your hands in her hair when you felt something restrict you.

A deep blood red-handcuffs the same shade as her hair was holding you back and your eyes widened in realisation. The demon's in your head were fighting with each other as you felt her clamber her way into your lap.

"Now.. you're going to behave for mommy aren't you?"

She grinned at you arching an eyebrow while her plump red lips glistened under the dim lights. You couldn't bring yourself to respond to Natasha, you felt your stomach twisting in knots at the word and your brain go fuzzy.

Restriction on your neck caused your airways to tighten slightly, not too much but the pressure sent a heat to your core you didn't know could happen. She frowned at you sternly, a small crease of annoyance in between her forehead that you found dangerously hot and cute at once.

"Don't make ask twice detka, you should know in the time you've worked for me I hate repeating myself. Now be a good slut and respond."

Not wanting to face the consequences of hell knows what she'd do you nodded instantly a feeling of nervousness that was fuelled by desire and lust rising within you.

"Yes mommy, I'll behave. I promise!"

Your response pleased her, yet your brain didn't have much time to respond as a loud groan escaped your lips. The buzzing sensation pressed against your panties sent you spiralling into oblivion. Natasha captured your lips with her own, red lipstick smearing your own with a kiss, sealing your fate. Signing your soul to the devil seemed like a fate that could send anyone into a panic, but when it was Natasha Romanoff, it was pure bliss.

"Your moans are a delight to my ear sweet girl," her whispers against your lips only spurred you on further.

You found your hips grinding down against the toy your bottom lip become broken and bruised from how hard you were biting it. A small slap to the thigh sent you jolting as you looked up to see Natasha's stern look.

"You move when I tell you to move slut," she slurred out high on lust and desire and you felt a spiral of wetness shoot down to your glistening pussy that was most definitely dripping with desire.

You felt the pressure of the toy increase levels and it took you everything not to cry out in absolute ecstasy but the overwhelming stimulation, it was so intense your toes could curl.

"You're already coming undone are you for your mommy?" Natasha bit down slightly on your ear lobe her fingers trailing up to your throat once more as she whispers into your ear.

"When you lay down on the chaise lounge you'll be screaming my name tonight darling. Yet, did you honestly think that you could get away with that game Y/N?" Her voice dragged down your body as quickly as possible.

Teeth sunk into your skin, nipping sucking and licking into the depths of every single area Natasha could reach. You hands tried to fling over your mouth to muffle your moans, yet your restraining handcuffs brought you back to reality.

"They'll hear Na- Mommy," Your slip-up didn't go unnoticed as a slap to your thigh and a hard bite on your chest caused a cry out from your lips.

"Let them hear you. You wanted a show, I have every intention of giving you one."

Before your thoughts could catch up to your lips a rip echoed through the room as a strength had come from the redhead herself. Gasping as she put some pressure on your clit the intense feeling driving your body into an overwhelming feeling.

As her fingers pressed against your puffy lips you knew instantly you were getting addicted to the feeling; the ignition pushing you towards Natasha's capture. She was easily trying to capture her pray within you and you'd stupidly let her.

"Please.. I need more," You pleaded your brain foggy with lust and utter craving for Natasha in every way possible.

With a single flick of a switch you felt her turn the toy to maximum levels before her fingers were swiftly replaced with a lapping tongue. The cuffs that felt like chains kept to a wall yanked down as you tried to touch.

She spat on your clit and you felt the shit eating grin pass her lips as Natasha heard the familiar sound of tugging from them. Instead she tutted and her eyes grazed up connecting with your own, purposely dragging her tongue up your slit making you cry out from the intensity.

"You're a good girl aren't you hm? Taking your boss so well. Imagine if I got to do a public show with you.. God the way the crowds would go wild as I fucked you over and over again," Natasha lulled against your pussy.

The images dancing through your brain was sinful, absolutely disgusting to others but for some reason like you were trapped in a cage of sex you didn't care. Magic was a dangerous power and a dangerous curse yet she wheeled it all within this room, your body and your mind, your essence and soul.

As she shoved her tongue into your entrance another cry of intense joy, you weren't sure lust most definitely past your lips. Her free hand moved up to your breasts massaging the buds between her tips, sending you without permission releasing your juices all over her tongue.

Ms. Romanoff pulled back and the look on her face was not one of an impressed look, though that didn't stop her tongue swirling around her mouth getting the remaining taste left. That action alone sent another wave to your core despite the overwhelming feeling and you felt your legs like jelly simply from one round.

"Did I say you could cum?" Her voice was stern, boomed against the contrasting atmosphere of what the stench danced with sex, and sweat, desire and fire.

"I.. I didn't me-"

"Did. I. Say. You. Could. Cum?" She repeated her voice was filled with such an authoritative tone sending your mind back to your original meeting.

Had it not been for the handcuffs and the familiar stern look and not wanting any more disapproval from Natasha, you'd have coward away from embarrassment. Instead you shook your head wondering what on earth you'd gotten yourself into it wasn't like you were bound together but.. part of you lived from the excitement; she was a devil, demon of angel and hell with the need to feel her touch.

"No.. No Miss.Romanoff, you did not." Your voice rasped out exhausted from screaming already.

She stood up no word uttered and she disappeared around the back, leaving you to your thoughts for a moment. It felt like you were fucking with the goddess herself, but was it sanity? Was it safe to be sharing sheets and secrets behind closed doors? Possibly not, but her blood-red lips and curves of her body made it impossible not to fall into. A trap of love or lust, it wasn't even known to you within that sight, just the devil herself you'd taste it every-time.

A song brought you from your dancing curious thoughts, one that sent your body ice-cold and your eyes widening instantly. A song called 'Pray' You'd become one to recognise. It was a favourite with your regulars at the club. Except you hadn't quite realised Natasha herself had noticed, but you'd been proven quite wrong.

On the contrary, Natasha walked in with a thick deep red strap-on, one that was already wet ether with her spit or something else it was unknown. But, she knew and had seen it caused a rage in her she hated herself for. Yet, she had to have her way with you.

"Sit back," she ordered pleased instantly you'd complied with no sudden refusals or hesitation.

Without a warning she flung one leg over your body joined by the other leg, until she was sat in your lap straddling you. Instantly, a gut feeling surged through your veins flying through every pulse point sending a fire and ice in one through your very skin. Your suspicions were confirmed when she slowly started to move her hips on you with the strap on.

A lap-dance. A lap dance by Natasha Romanoff, your boss the fucking owner of Desiring ignition. Better yet it was with a strap on.

Her hips moved in a motion not even the most poisonous temptations of the world could, but Natasha out-beat them all. Her hands moved down her body over her hips and you watched in amazement as she began to thrust onto your leg while dancing like a majestic queen. Her moans spilled past her throat, giving you everything you desired sipping her up.

Your hands begged to move and your pussy pulsated allowing some juices to spill out. Your eye's pleaded with her to undo the cuffs but all you'd received in return, was a tut and a small pressure to your throat.

"You can touch soon detka. I'd like to have my fun now. Do you know how long I've waited to have my way with you?" She whispered her hips shaking and thrusting to the beat of the music.

"N-No," you answered honestly to mesmerised by her movements to figure out an answer.

"Since you first walked into that door. I needed you away so I didn't tempt myself with the cup of sinfulness, one that I shouldn't lead by. Yet, when I saw you dance.. Oh my sweet little slut. You were perfect. I needed to ruin all of you," she husked out shaking her strap slightly.

You almost came right from the scene in front of you, gaining your own kind of friction from her strap. However while the music beat sped up one lyric spurred her over the edge and caused her to break the chains of control, fly up from hell and take her prize.

'When she lays down to pray at night.. She'll be screaming my name.'

Something about that song lyric sent Natasha spurring forward and her hips bucked against your lap causing her to cry out in ecstasy. Her hands reached up undoing the cuffs breaking the barrier as your hands finally touched her hips, her olive silky skin feeling beautiful under your finger tips.

Her fingers suddenly managed to make their way underneath her body with a precision that seemed impossible to you and slammed themselves into your now over-stimulated pussy. You cried out in part-pain and mainly bliss the coil in your stomach building up.

She worked you like wonders themselves couldn't work the song blaring in the background. Natasha still continued to give you a lap-dance of sorts but mainly focused on getting the two of you off and fingered you hard and fast, her hips meeting some sort of thrust.

"Scream my name," left her lips and that's all it took.

The coil in your stomach snapped and you came once more all over her fingers, legs shaking and your eyes pooled with tears of joy from how incredible it felt. Natasha followed suite from the sight and the friction cumming all down her strap and some spilling onto your lap causing yourself to groan.

However, she had an ungodly amount of adrenaline pounding through her system as she clambered of your body leaning over your lips and throat demanding one thing of you.

"Suck."

Her voice was raspy sending a pool of wetness shooting down once more and you felt yourself let out some dripping juices by accident. You instantly took the strap on gagging on it as she shoved it deeply in your throat. Looking down, the sight was enough for Natasha to cum right there and then but she held it.

She wanted you to gag on her strap, shut your pretty little mouth up as she took in the sight of what was hers. Her sinful prize, her desired need was sucking her cock so well it was a bliss to see. Hearing you gag she rubbed your pussy once again causing you to cry out the stimulation being too much, yet Natasha ignored you.

She ignored you until your hips jerked up once more being greedy and desperate for her fingers or strap-on and she smirked in sheer delight. She'd made you putty in her hands. You didn't care anymore the manipulation of her job had worked wonders in your mind making it hazed with fuel of her touch and knowing only she could make you like this.

Clambering down, no warning was given as her cock suddenly found your puffy and over-stimulated entrance and her eyes drifted down. Natasha groaned at the sight, how ruined and how messy you were, wetness seeping down your thighs.

Not wanting to waist another minute, her cock slammed into you thrusting hard not giving you any time to adjust. Her lips moved fast and at a ferocious pace causing animalistic like grunts to leave your lips. Your mind danced with her and only her, it was like she'd made her mark engraved her and only her within it and you'd take it all, drink all of her and whatever she'd give you.

Sloppy slapping sounds hit the four walls of the room and her lips slammed into yours as she bit on your bottom lip. Your now free hands, moved into her hair tugging lightly causing a growl fit from an animal that could kill within seconds. Natasha kissed harder, hips slamming down without a single care and you felt yourself becoming close.

"Please.."

She grinned against your lips and you knew what was going to happen then and there. Your boss had won the game of the life time, her prize possession and puppet.

"Cum on mommy's cock like a good little stripper hmm? Let me take all of you," she husked out giving a particular hard thrust.

With that your juices hit her strap-on hard, flowing out of you like a river itself your mouth screaming her name while your body shivered. Hands clawing at her back now the sight was enough to send her spiralling, leaving you just enough time to recover to see the sight.

Her back arched, releasing her own as she had her eyes closed lips partially opened and skin slick with sweat and cum mixed from both of your spots.

Your eyes shut themselves sheer exhaustion taking in and all that could be heard was panting breaths in the room. It was as she leaned down you'd known how badly caught in the trap of lust you were with your own boss, her whispers filling the room.

"I've caught my own trap now, the devil got her prize. And I am far from finished with you yet, mommy's little stripper slut."

≿━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━≾

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x gender neutral reader #dark!natasha romanoff #stripclub owner!natasha romanoff #marvel fic #marvel

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pleaseeeimjustagirl · 3 months

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Weekly Affirmations

♡ I can be anything I want to be.

♡ I am healing and strengthening every day.

♡ I believe in myself and I believe in all my capabilities.

♡ I choose to be proud of myself.

♡ My life is abundant and fulfilling.

♡ Life brings me only good experiences. I am open to new and wonderful changes.

♡ I am safe, and everything is good in my world.

♡ I am not afraid to keep going, and I believe in myself.

♡ My life has meaning. What I do has meaning. My actions are meaningful and inspiring.

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msallurea · 7 months

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Your desires were never bigger than you, you created them..so why fear?

This post is actually inspired by a small thought I had while getting ready to take a bath 😭

So anyways back to my point, I will based this entirely on my experience just now, so boom, I was randomly thinking OF my desires wondering "hmm I already know every drop of loa info I need to know so why am I not applying?" That's when another thought of mine appeared and asked "is it because I wanna manifest a lot of things at once that I'm not applying or maybe I'm doing something wrong?" Then it was followed by "I've already affirmed before that I had all my desires/my dream life what was the issue? I know that the 3d doesn't matter, wavering doesn't slow down my manifestation, I've been WANTING my desires since forever, I've manifested things before what was so different about this?" And then that is when a very distinct voice said in my head

"Why would I be worried about not being able to have a desire that I created? How can my desire be bigger than me when I AM the one who created the desire in the first place?"

This has me sitting for a few moments rethinking EVERYTHING. That's when I began to change my perspective on this whole desiring thing entirely, if I am the creator of my reality and I created the desire in the first place and I also created the confusion AND ocercomplications around even having my desire, why am I questioning about something that I can just decide to have..BECAUSE I AM THE CREATOR OF MY REALITY. This honestly made Mr chuckle a bit. Especially because if had me thinking about people with epiphanies of loa, they aren't epiphanies at all, i already knew exactly what everything meant BUT I created all these overcomplications and rules and such that i literally forgot that I create all the time so therefore why would me creating fulfillment in having my desires be any different.

Then my mind started wandering to different methods because my mind already got the gist NOW that I literally do create the lack, the desire AND the fulfillment. But then it had me wondering how can I lack or desire something that I've already created? This is when one of Edward art's vids kicked in and I hear his voice in my head telling me:

"lack is an illusion and desire is an illusion, there is only just fulfillment and acceptance of that fulfillment"

So that's when my mind sat for a few seconds then went back to the whole methods thing and I thought about well hm..since I'm the creator of my reality what method should I do? That's when my mind began to go back again and it then says:

"Imagine someone anyone (for me this was higher self, my mom, and my lover at the moment) and they gave you a gift it had everything you could've ever desired and they told you yes it is all yours, you can have it its yours"

So though it wasn't vivid I didn't concern myself with that I just kept hearing the voice say yes it is yours yes you can have it yes you have it. Now it wasn't very long but it definitely made me wonder, a lot of times many of us don't "want to manifest" simply because they feel they don't deserve the things they want. In my case I knew I voild have the things I wanted and even in a way deserved it but my issue was that it was so much I wanted I didn't want to be judged for making my life the way I wanted it to be. This is when another thought comes up and says

"How could I be scared of something I created?"

This really had me thinking especially with times I've doubted and second guessed etc not only was I choosing the opposite of what I created but I was saying no to something I created that I constantly searched to get a yes to, it didnt matter what anyone else answer was the only yes I ever really needed was my own because it was my own creation.

This is all I have right now but I just thought this thought was really funny to me

#manifesting #my blog #msallurea #law of assumption #manifestation #neville goddard

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someonegoood · 25 days

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MY WHOLE LIFE pt. 3 ✫ mason mount

part 1, part 2, final part.

in which after everything you gave, you're not sure if you're going to keep going. (brother’s best friends troop).

CONTAINS: brother’s best friend troop, angst, some smut (not really explicit) & fluff ! age gap, arguments...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: here's part 3 ! final part for my first two works, I'm proud of how it came out

taglist: @girlidekanymore @sunflower-tia @nicolesainz @chilwellspulisic @anotherfan07

inspired by taylor swift's songs.

The feeling of freshness —the wonderful smells, the damp feel of leaves falling down the trees, the breeze and the rain on your skin. The sound of rain is wonderful: not just between a hard roof and leaves, but you can hear it on different types of trees and hedges.

The flowers, which look like they were painted by Monet himself, have colours so rich that no one can even attempt to imitate them. From the smallest weed to the grandest stalk, they are all beautiful in your eyes.

Around you are your friends; some are talking or enjoying the countryside air. You had decided to take me on a little vacation before returning to the routine of the busy city of London.

No distractions, no disturbances, especially without him. After seeing how Mason smiled at that blonde standing next to him and Debbie's painful look in the boat, you knew all these years were in vain.

The moments when you took care of him after he vomited from all the alcohol he had consumed at the party, when you covered him so he could go on dates with different girls and other things you had done for him.

The last time Mason saw you still burned in the back of your mind, the little stolen glances he gave you while you were wearing a pink t-shirt, the one that you had left back in a drawer in the Mount's house. Stacey had told you the t-shirt drove him crazy.

It had been weeks, and you still couldn’t understand why nothing went your way. Was it you? Had you done something wrong? Had it been you that caused the gulf?

—Babes, how could you ever think it's your fault? Clearly, he is out of his mind. —Clara talked. You and your friends were sitting on the porch in the extensive field that belonged to your grandparents.

Then Adelaida, who was resting her head on your lap, suddenly stood up, leaning on one elbow and said: —Please don't think it's your fault, you would be lowering yourself to his level.

Everyone had been adamant that it wasn’t you... even your mother. But even with those words of affirmation, it didn’t change the internal feelings, the heartbreak that felt it was never-ending.

All you ever wanted was that connection, that string, that feeling that pulled you to another person, that proved he was the person meant to be for you. It was devastating to think back and know he wasn’t.

Even though you were angry at him, you knew that when you saw him you would act like a little girl, crazy in love.

On the other side, Mason was in the kitchen, picking at the leftover food on the tabletop as everyone else was in the living room. His mother walked into the kitchen as he took a bite of little meatballs that looked delicious and she laughed at the pieces of meat that had fallen onto the kitchen counter.

—That’s definitely not the way to eat —she smirked knowing his son wasn't the type of person to sit down and eat properly.

—But you love me anyways, mom. —Mason flashed his puppy eyes as his mum laughed at his actions. It had been a long year for Mason. He stopped turning to family events when he knew you would be there.

—Mason Tony Mount, I gave birth to you, I know you better than you know yourself-

—Mom. —Mason sighed. —Don't start this whole speech about her, please.

—Dear, I don’t even need to say her name... it will always be her. —She smiled, sadly, as she walked over to her son and placed a hand on his cheek.

—She's happy, from what I heard. —he scoffed again.

—So then you know you’re being an ass, right?

Mason's eyes widened at his mother's question but she just laughed and waved him off. —After all the years she spent after you, dear, it would be cruel for you to not let her be happy.

That sentence shattered his heart. You weren't the little girl who ran behind him in search of attention anymore, you were a woman with maturity, feelings and beauty.

—But what if I’m not happy? —he asked his mum. Debbie felt her heart clench at his words, it was never good for a mother when they saw their son being at his lowest.

—Do you love her?

There was no answer.

—See, that would be very cruel. Mase... either you love her or you’re jealous. Just remember that she's a second daughter to me and I know her like the palm of my hand. I'm certain that she’s fragile when it comes to you.

After a week in the countryside with your friends, you were back in the city, at a party the english players were throwing in celebration of their team winning the last few games.

Every time he looks at you, it’s making him go mad. It surprises him how much influence you have on his night out. He actually believed he could handle it, seeing you after a while. Normally he’s the one who takes you to the football after-parties because you begged him like crazy. But not this time.

Did you wear a white dress on purpose tonight? He doesn’t know. You look beautiful and he wishes he had the nerve to tell you how great white looks on you. He remembers the time you almost kiss in the box, you in the white sweatshirt with his number. The guy talking to you on your right was Foden. Did you wear it for him? He doesn’t believe that, he doesn’t think he deserves that.

Mason sighs. This is one of the hardest nights in his life. He shouldn’t have messed it up. If he didn’t follow what Ben said to him, he would probably be the one talking to you. Fucking Ben.

At the same time, you don’t know what’s bothering Mason. You thought he would be coming to the afterparty with Daphne, but his friends confirmed that he forgot her quickly. He didn't even kiss her. Neither touch her.

It surprised you, you were afraid he would show up with that beautiful model. A part of you felt really happy.

You feel his eyes burning into you while you talk to Foden. You quickly take the cocktail out of Phil's hands, while thanking him in the meantime. He shrugs it off.

—What’s up with you? —He asks you after you take a few sips.

—What do you mean? —You ask him. Is he noticing your bad mood? You tried hiding it, but maybe you failed.

—You seem distracted. Did something happen? —he goes on. You take a sip of your cocktail, thinking about your response. Could it be a bad plan to tell him about Mase? They’re friends after all. But on the other hand, it would be nice to talk about it to someone.

—It’s him, isn’t it? —Foden answers his own question. You didn’t even realize you were looking at Mason until Phil spoke. You nod towards him, —Let’s go outside.

Then, you're sitting on a wooden bench outside. The white dress doesn’t give you much warmth, so you embarrassingly start to shiver. Before you can notice it, Phil drapes his jacket around your shoulders.

—Fuck... —he says, regretting. —I knew it would be a bad plan to invite you. —Mutters softly, —I thought it was a good idea to make you feel better, now I just got Mount to get angry at you.

You laughed, thinking that was very cute. —That’s not true, Phil —you try to comfort him, —you can’t help me being an idiot.

—To be fair, Mason and you are both idiots. —Foden laughs, —Definitely unaware idiots-

But before he can explain to you anything, Mason shows up in front of you.

While walking back to his car, he notices the sound of people talking outside. He thinks he’s recognizing your voice. He must be going insane, he thinks tiredly to himself. But still, he walks towards the sound. Quickly seeing you and Phil sitting together... fucking hell, why are you wearing his jacket?

Before he realizes it himself, he stands before you and his teammate Foden. The chattering stops directly, did he interrupt something? He feels awkward with you and Phil looking at him amusingly. How can he fix this awful situation?

—I uh... I wanted to say bye to you. —Mason said, ignoring the existence of Phil. —I am supposed to bring you home or will Phil...?—He stutters eventually, not wanting to finish his question.

—Wait, Mase, can we talk? —You react before Mason turns around and walks to his car in a rush. He nods.

—Of course.

The silence was sharply awkward.

—Don’t forget your jacket, Foden —Mason quickly says, —she can wear mine while we’re outside.

Phil, who no longer was sitting on the bench, laughed for a bit at his hopeless friend. Then he walks up to you, and takes his own jacket from your shoulders, while Mason quickly takes off his. You give Phil a quick hug to thank him, before getting into Mason's jacket.

—Don’t be an idiot to her —says Phil toward Mason whispering in his ear. You smile shyly, flushing with Phil's comment.

Mason doesn’t know how to watch the interaction between his friend and you. He doesn't know where to look when you turn your attention to him. The white dress quickly grabs his attention once again.

Silently, both of you walk to the parking lot where his fancy Mercedes-AMG was parked. You had always made fun of him because the car was too posh in your opinion, although every time you needed a ride home you always ended up in his car.

Firstly he took the car keys out of his pocket and then he opened your door for you. He had always been a gentleman. The situation is unexpected, yet influenced by the tension that’s been built between you two through the last couple of months.

—So, what do you want to talk about? —Mason asks you. You lasted a few seconds thinking about how to answer his question.

—Why were you ignoring me today? Why didn’t you come up to me and Phil to say hi? —You fire multiple questions at him, —did I do something wrong? Are you upset with me? —Your words cut through the thick air inside the car.

—I thought the two of you were busy with each other. —Mason mutters.

You scoff, this was unbelievable. —That’s bullshit Mase, you know I always make time for you.

—God!, I just wasn’t in the mood to see you two. —He said, elevating his tone, trying to sound casual but deep down, jealousy was gnawing at him like a relentless beast.

You don’t know what to say to Mason. You don’t even know what the boy means. He wasn’t in the mood to see you? Since when could that happen?

—Why? —You barely dare to ask him. You have no choice, so you repeat your last question —why, Mase? —Your eyes start to fill with tears.

Mason sighs, —You won’t get it.

—You don’t know that. Try me.

—I just... I just don’t like seeing you with other boys —he confessed. You doubt for a bit. Should you tell him you were relieved he showed up alone instead of coming with Daphne? You decide not.

—Oh, come on Mason! You can't say that! —You almost shout. Mason's eyes open like plates. You had never raised your voice at him like that, so angry.

—Why not? —He, as well, says almost shouting.

—Because you don't have the right! It's-it's just that you can't say that as if my feelings were so simple... —You tried to calm yourself, you could lost everything now.

—Mason, I've been with you since the beginning and you know that. I'm your biggest supporter and deep inside you know I’ll always cheer for you. I’ve spent my whole girlhood- Fuck. —Tears start scrolling down your delicate face. He looks at you as if you were graceful.

—I wanted to be with you tonight, —you eventually say after a long silence—but you looked at me as if I didn’t matter.

—I know.

You sigh. Can't the boy say anything else? You feel obligated to talk further: —Why aren’t you telling me what’s wrong?

You don't get any answer. Looking at the ceiling of the car, you try to keep your cool.

—You know what? I’m going back to the party. Call me when you can explain at least something. —You want to undo yourself from Mason's warm jacket, but he stops you directly by grabbing your arm.

—I know you deserve to know what’s going on, but I don’t want to lose you. I know it’s a shitty excuse which makes everything even more unclear, but please don’t go back inside. —Mason talks soft and fast —and please keep the jacket on.

—What’s so important about the jacket? —You ask with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

—Your dress distracts me and I don’t want to see you in anyone else’s jacket again. —This time he is direct with his words. Almost harsh. You wonder why your dress distracts him. Does he find it ugly?

—Don’t you like the dress? —You ask.

—I fucking love the dress. —Mason says. At that moment you feel something clicking. Despite his short explanation, you wonder if Mason may return your feelings.

—Just give me time. Everything is happening so fast and the fact that I'm just realizing that all these years all I've been doing is hurting you makes me go mad angry at myself. —He says, without breathing. —And... I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for everything I've done, for the countless times I've hurt you. I promise you will have a proper explanation. —He tried to smile, with tears in his eyes.

—That's the Mase I know... —You laugh lightly and Mason just stares at you, sweetly. —Now take me back home, probably my brother is already wasted.

What you didn't know is that that day Mason Mount started falling in love with you.

A few days after you were your house, sat in the cozy familiarity of the your couch while your mother flipped through the pages of a weathered photo album resting on her lap. Each turn of the page revealed a snapshot of your brother's and your past, a journey frozen in time.

—Look! You're wearing my glasses! —Said your mother, with clear emotion in her voice. She turned some pages that had photographs of your childhood: when you were born, your first tooth fell out and many more memories.

Your cheeks flushed with nostalgic warmth, a subtle testament to the innocence and joy captured in each photograph.

Among the sepia-toned memories and faded polaroids, there was a page filled with pictures where Mason and you, both still little children, intertwined in laughter playing in the park.

Your mom pinched your cheek. —Someday you will realize that everything you did was not in vain, on the contrary, it was all worth it. —She stopped to take a breath. —Because golden loves are like that. They stay with you forever.

—How beautiful, mom. —You ironized. She laughed.

—It will, darling... Come here. —And then you hugged her. You hugged her with all your might as you felt her warmth on your face. She giggled, breaking the embrace.

—You'll need a spell to make Mason realize what a fool he is.

—Mom!

A couple days later, you were back at Stamford Bridge once again. As you approach the stadium, you can feel the excitement building. The streets around the stadium eagerly anticipate the game ahead.

Inside the stadium, the dominant colour is blue. The stands are filled with supporters adorned in their team's jerseys, scarves, and signs that say "Pride of London".

—Call her Mason, I’m sure she's in the stands —said Ben, while putting on the new shirt they played in today. Mason held his cell phone, sitting on the bench in the large locker room.

Today was Valentine's Day and Mason had a game. Your brother told Mason he was going out on a date with his girlfriend but you would go in his place, as usual. He didn't know if you were coming, so Mason was nervous, especially with the talk you had in his car.

You had called Debbie in the morning, asking her if you should come to the game, and she told you that Mason would be more than happy to see you there. You wondered if he knew what you were up to if your brother had kept him in the loop.

Pick it up.

The third tone rang while Ben tried to hold Mason, about to faint from anxiety. In the background, music was blasting from the speakers while the guys on the team began gathering in the locker room for their last talk before the game started.

Reece James leaned closer, curious why his teammate was sitting with his phone in hand, bouncing his leg nervously.

—What has got Mount that nervous? I've never seen him like this —he says to Ben, seated next to Mason, fixing his shoes.

—It's his girlfriend-

—She's not my girlfriend! —Mason interrupted Chilwell, with an expression of fear. You still haven't answered him and the fact that his friends were bothering him added to his anxiety.

—Give me that shit. —Suddenly Kai Havertz appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Mason's phone and putting the call on speaker. Everyone's attention was on the tones ringing, hoping you'll pick up. The team had witnessed your situationship since Mason had joined Chelsea, so they knew you quite well.

—Hi? Mason?

Kai, standing on the bench in the centre of the room, had the phone in his hand so everyone could hear. His eyes widened and his mouth also opened, in surprise. Everyone stood up while Mason's blood pressure went down.

With a jump, Havertz handed the cell phone to his friend so he could answer you. There was a silence between your response and his because his teammates were signalling to him, guiding him in his response.

—Yes? —That was the only thing he could think of at that moment.

—You... you've just called me minutes before your game. Is everything okay? Do you need something? —For you, it was strange that Mason called you, especially right before his game. Mason's teammates melt with your response, you seemed like a worried girlfriend.

—N-no, I was calling to know if you're on Stamford Bridge. —He stuttered, nervous about your answer. You smiled a bit, already seated between the blue tide of fans.

—Of course! I wouldn't miss a game for anything Mase. —And that was the end of him. He said goodbye saying that he had to go out and play and hoped you liked the game, while all his friends were shouting acknowledging that probably by the end of the year, they would have a new addition on their team.

The match ended with Chelsea winning by two goals and the assistance of Mason. You couldn't be more proud of him and after the exhilarating victory at Stamford Bridge, you made your way to the cooldown room, where players and staff often gather to unwind after the match.

As you entered, you spotted Mason, the hero of the game with his crucial assist. A sense of pride swelled within you as you approached him. He was putting something in his backpack, distracted.

—Incredible game out there, —you said, startling Mason. He turned with a smile, recognizing your voice without seeing your face.

—Thanks, this means a lot to me... —Mason replied, his face beaming with satisfaction. You both exchanged a few more words about the match, sharing our favourite moments and the atmosphere at the stadium. Then, out of the blue, Mason's tone turned slightly more serious.

—You know... —he said, pausing for a moment. —I've been thinking. We've been through so much together, your support has meant a lot to me.

You nodded, feeling a sense of tenderness with him. Mason took a deep breath before continuing. —Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to grab dinner later. Just to say thanks for always being there, you know?

Surprised by the unexpected invitation, you couldn't help but smile. —I'd be honoured to join you. —You said, laughing out of nervousness.

A couple hours later, Mason kept his hand on your lower back as he led you through the restaurant, your body settled into his side. His hand slid around your waist while opening the door, a shiver already wracking your body. You gasped at the white snow starting to lay outside, thick flakes slowly falling from the sky.

—Look there! Mase, it's snowing! —You tugged a little on Mason's hand on your waist, the heat replacing the cold feeling on your fingers. There was already a pretty thick layer on the ground and you wondered briefly how long it had been snowing. —It's so pretty.

Mason watched your smile widen when he was paying the bill, as you tilted your head back, eyes squinting as the flakes cascaded down. He'd never seen anyone get so excited over snow.

You looked so good under the twinkling lights, the candle in the middle of the table illuminating half of your face. He was having an amazing time, already realizing he mad in love with you.

From the way you keep your hair in a messy ponytail to the way you are surprised by the snow. Everything about you was perfect for him.

—Do you want to go for a walk before I take you home? —He slid his hand over your jaw, his thumb stroking away the little flake on your cheek. You gave a small nod, flushed since all of this was new for you. He grinned before stepping back and holding his hand out to you.

—M'lady?

You looped your arm through his and the two of you started off down the street, his gaze darting between you and the falling snow. You snuggle as close as possible to him to steal some of his natural body heat.

Snow was falling and settling into Mason’s hair, individual flakes dropping onto his eyelashes and you were certain he’d never looked prettier.

—Remember the time I tried to sneak out and you caught me? That time I was actually grounded for fighting with my brother and I wanted to buy the new console game you were so interested in. —You said, recalling those silly things.

He didn't know if his cheeks were flushed pink from the cold or from what you'd just said.

—But that game was so expensive!

—I know! I just wanted to give you something for your birthday. That's why I didn't have any presents for you at your birthday party.

Mason caught your gaze, head cocking curiously at the sudden shy look that had taken over your features. You let your eyes wander from him to the snow-filled street around you. You slowed to a stop, right against the barriers of the little lake and you leant against it, the two of you facing each other, your hand still clasped in his.

All you wanted was to grab him and kiss him, you didn’t care who saw or if you got a cold, you just wanted to kiss him in the snow.

After a silence, he said: —You know I want you, right?

You looked at him. Surprised. Self-conscious Scared. But above all, in love.

—I've been thinking and I can't help falling for you now. I’m not jealous because you have other people in your life, I’m not a fucking kid. That time with Phil, at the party, made me realize that I want you with me... By my side. I want to be the one you say 'I love you' to, I want to be the one that cuddles you, that-

You interrupted him. —Mase, I… I don’t know how to say this… —Voice uncertain as you watched for his reaction, for any flicker of emotion that stated he didn't want that.

His face fell, and he retracted his hands from the barriers that before were trapping you between his body and the barriers. Ready for rejection, he looked into your eyes.

—I… I like you too. —You looked down, feigning sadness. When you looked up, he was squinting at you. —I don't know how are you convincing my brother you're good enough for me...

—I'd probably invite him to one of my games and we could go for dinner after the game? I'll book somewhere for us. —You matched his smile with a nod, shoulders relaxing slightly after the confession as you pulled your hand from his so you could settle your arms around his neck instead.

—Sounds amazing. Deep inside he's a West Ham fan, y'know. — Mason's face contorted a little when he bumped his nose against yours, lips lightly brushing together.

—Oh shut up, —he muttered into your lips, —let me kiss you.

And you obeyed, your hands resting nervously at his neck as he ravished you, his tongue begging for entrance. You allowed it, moaning into his lips as they intertwined perfectly. His hands travelled from your hair to your waist where he pushed you closer to him.

You indeed had waited your whole life for this.

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vixeneptune · 11 months

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'GODDESS QUEEN' POWERFUL AFFIRMATIONS

When I'm around, everyone can feel that they're in the presence of a goddess.

I don't just look pretty, i look like an otherworldly goddess

My energy is so powerful and magnetic, it commands the room

Everyone calls me queen/goddess, it's like my nickname

I'm used to being treated like royalty, nothing new

Being sexy, powerful and gorgeous all at the same time is my talent

I have the kind of energy u only have to feel once to remember forever

Everyone rushes to please me and give me everything I want bc I'm such a queen.

Everyone can't help but admire me and put me on a pedestal

I naturally exude powerful goddess energy

My beauty is that of a goddess, I'm blessed by aphrodite

People only exist if I want them to, this is my world and everyone else is just living in it

I'm an actual goddess, I walk this earth enchanted. Everyone can't help but fall for my charms

I'm undeniably a powerful goddess with magical powers, I can manifest whatever I want so easily

People look at me and go "damn is she a goddess? She's out of this world fr"

I'm enriched in powerful feminine allure and magnetism

My sp could kiss the ground I walk in, he'd spend thousands and thousands just to see me happy.

I give off main character energy and goddess vibes ✨

My beauty is divine, magical, mystical, ethereal, I look unreal bc of how beautiful I am. I'm such a dream

My aura is always GLOWING and I naturally get attention, I'm the light that enters the room

I attract people naturally, everyone thinks it's a privilege to be in my presence

I am tremendously abundant and gorgeous, as I should be

Everything I touch turns into gold

I'm the prize. My self concept is amazing

I got that goddess energy that everyone would kill to have

Im so attractive and magnetic, my desires chase me

I literally don't care what anyone thinks of me bc I'm fully aware of my potential and power

My presence is so powerful it fills the entire room

People wonder what it is about me that gets them so addicted

My natural energy is charismatic and alluring

I wakeup everyday as a goddess knowing that the universe and everyone in it is happy to please me and follow my wishes

Of course a goddess like me is living her dream life and has everything she wants, I don't even have desires bc I have it all already

My aura is naturally healing and inspiring. I bring blessings wherever I go.

Life treats me so well. I'm highly favored and taken care of

I'm literally flawless, how am I so perfect?

People can FEEL my power and confidence, no one dares to disrespect me or mess with me.

My goddess energy is so high, people feel like they're dreaming in my presence.

Listen to this subliminal bundle while reading the affirmations for maximum results ✨✨

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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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Lucky girl syndrome: you’re the luckiest girl alive

Are you ready to unleash the power of Lucky Girl Syndrome? Lucky Girl Syndrome is a powerful mindset that can help you to manifest your dreams and live a life of abundance and joy. By embodying this state of being, you are believing in yourself, allowing positive energy to flow freely, and embracing an attitude of abundance.

To inhabit lucky girl syndrome, start by focusing on what brings you joy - spending time with friends and family, engaging in activities that make you feel alive, being creative or indulging in self-care - it's all fair game! Shift your focus away from negative self talk and doubts and instead fill your mind with positive affirmations about yourself. Believe that anything is possible for you if you work hard enough. Challenge yourself to go after everything you want, to be brave and take risks without fear of failure.

Go ahead and create beautiful rituals around feeling like the luckiest girl alive - light your favorite incense, connect to nature, practice gratitude for all the wonderful things in your life. Allow yourself moments of introspection so that you can become aware of any areas that may need improvement or growth as well as acknowledging any milestones achieved no matter how small they may seem at first.

Affirmations are a great way to cultivate confidence and stay connected to your dreams. Here are some affirmations for embracing Lucky Girl Syndrome and manifesting everything you desire:

* I am truly blessed with the gifts, talents, and opportunities that life brings me.

* I am strong and capable of creating my own luck.

* I am open to absorbing all the abundance the universe offers me.

* My inner lucky girl comes out to shine each day and I attract only positive things into my life.

* Every day I'm achieving my dreams.

* Luck is something I have by being born

* Everything I attract into my life is positive and fulfilling.

*eveything works out better than I could imagine

*I have my desires before I think about them

Embracing Lucky Girl Syndrome will give you the confidence boost needed to stay motivated while attracting positivity into your life regardless of external circumstances. Believe in yourself and always remember that there’s a lucky girl inside ready to take on the world!

So really just

-Start your day with a gratitude practice - to further cultivate an attitude of luck, give thanks each morning for all the blessings in your life.

-Create a vision board and fill it with images that make you feel inspired and lucky. As you look at it each day, visualize your ideal future, taking one step at a time towards success.

-Practice self love - treat yourself to little luxuries every now and then to remind yourself that you deserve the best. Cut out negative thoughts and make sure to recognize the incredible things within you.

-Write down affirmations about yourself as well as goals for the future - let this act as a reminder of how capable you are of living up to any challenge life throws your way!

-Mix up routines with random notes of luck - surprise yourself by leaving little notes saying “you’re lucky” or treat yourself to something special like a spa treatment or dinner out with friends.

most importantly never forget that you’re truly that bitch.

#law of assumption #manifesation #void state #reality shifting #law of attraction #self concept #shiftblr #manifesting

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sparklingself · 2 years

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𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟒𝐃

this is a continuation of my last post. i recommend you read that too.

what you need to understand is that the outside world is an illusion. it’s clay. it’s mouldable to your own liking. consciousness is the only reality.

If you wish to be in a reality where you are praised, start praising yourself now, for consciousness is the only reality. This entire world is a wonderful play, being performed in an invisible realm all within us. - Edward Art

do not ever punish yourself or blame yourself for having bad thoughts. never blame, only resolve. people like to say here that you didn’t manifest your trauma. and that’s a reasonable thing to say as victim blaming is a shitty thing to do and something a lot of law of attraction coaches like to do. but manifesting doesn’t exclude the terrible things that have happened to you. i think it’s better to say that, yes, you created it, because you are THE creator, but never blame yourself for that. it’s all just a state and you can easily switch the state. implying that you didn’t create it takes away your power and implies that some things are bigger than you. but nothing is bigger than you. everything else is nothing compared to you.

It is a new day, fresh from the hands of God, and I am a new man (idea) fresh from the hands of God. I have but the glowing, ever present, now, which is pregnant with opportunity and goodness. And as this day cannot look back into yesterday, neither can I bring from yesterday any of its storms or sorrows. And as to the day, every flower that it finds and every bird that goes trailing through the long hours, are new and fresh acquaintances to it, so every man that I meet shall be new and good to me, a friend and brother. - And It Was Told Of A Certain Potter, Abd Allah

when you assume something, assume and let it be. live your life and know it is done. it is yours. no one can take it away from you.

stop checking the 3D for confirmation. once you claim you have something and you want to instantly want to go check the outside for movement, then you are doing it wrong. you need to have confidence that it will be expressed in the physical. it will be expressed, because the 3D always expresses what you hold to be true in the 4D.

You do not have to look for it, and by not looking for it, you will see it. No more craving or seeking. - Edward Art

you don’t need to worry if you’re taking the right steps in the 3D to achieve what you want. once you assume something to be true, you will be moving under compulsion/taking “inspired action”. your body is a part of the outside world, so you will manifest it to take the right steps. “maybe if i affirm one more time, it’ll manifest.” stop. this is why you should let it be. once you stop looking confirmation from the 3D, it will manifest. this is because once you assume something and then look outside for confirmation and you’re denied, then you will accept the denied as truth, which it is not.

Consciousness should be your only concern. Only. Not what this person said, or what they did. Your consciousness should be your sole priority. Consciousness causes you to act under compulsion to manifest naturally. That is why you can let it be. - Edward Art

#loa #loassumption #law of assumption #neville goddard #mental diet #self concept #living in the end #affirm and persist #law of attraction #manifestation #manifesting #law of abundance #law of manifestation #manifest #edward art #spirituality #void state #meditation

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moonstruckme · 3 months

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hi mae!! i saw ur anon earlier abt which characters u have reqs for rn and u mentioned not having any for tasm!peter, which i think is a crime, so i’m here to change that!

i looooved your marauders fic where reader came out as nonbinary (im enby myself) and i was wondering how that would go with peter? maybe during the stage where they both know they like each other, but haven’t officially started dating yet, and reader comes out to him as what they see as a “warning”. i’m openly enby but still present as very femme, so whenever there’s even an inkling of romance between me and a guy i’m always like “oh they dont know im enby. if i tell them they’re not gonna like me anymore, but also, this is who i am”. of course, no need to write this if you aren’t comfortable/not feeling inspired by it!! thank you love 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Hi gorgeous, thank you for requesting! I'm always a bit worried about these because I can only really try to imagine the enby experience from my outsider's perspective, so please lmk if there are any inaccuracies and/or insensitivities :)

tasm!Peter Parker x nb!reader ♡ 1.1k words

You’re constructing your lego flowers at about half Peter’s pace. Peter’s a whiz with everything, and you thought you were used to it, but the way he’s leaving you in his dust is borderline humiliating. He barely even has to look at the instructions, while you’re turning them over in your hands, glancing repeatedly between the paper and the small plastic pieces strewn between you on the couch.

It might have something to do with your lack of focus. Which might have something to do with Peter being in especially flirty form today.

It’s no secret that the two of you have feelings for each other. You have for a while, and you’ve both been aware of it for almost as long. Until today, neither of you seemed prepared to do anything about it. But something feels different. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, quick glances through his lashes as he talks, or the way his friendly touches seem more intentional than usual, or the fact that he’d wanted to build lego flowers with you because he thought you’d like it, despite you never having exhibited any interest in legos in your life.

None of it is unwelcome. You want to enjoy it, but the escalation makes your palms sweat. It makes it seem like something is going to happen, some change, and you haven’t been honest with him yet. You feel like a time bomb. Or a mirage. Peter thinks he’s getting one thing with you, and then you lift the veil to reveal that you’re something else entirely. You feel like you have an obligation to clue him in before he makes any kind of move. And you’re scared of missing your window, but you have no idea when it’s passing.

“I think you’re missing this one.” Peter’s hand moves over your lap, depositing a lego piece.

You look up at him, returning his smile. “Thanks,” you say. “This is super unfair, by the way. You’ve got years of experience on me.”

“It’s not a competition,” he laughs, looking at you in that way again. Warm, sunny, and something else. He holds his finished product out to you, a plasticky snapdragon. “Here, add it to our bouquet.”

You take it from him compliantly, picking up the vase you’d dug out from your cabinet to hold the growing selection of plastic flowers. You can feel Peter’s eyes on you, and your hands shake a little as you arrange it among the others. If he puts on smooth jazz and starts lighting candles, you’ll bolt.

“You’re gonna have a whole collection by the time we’re done here,” he says, and you hum in affirmation. His smile fades a bit. “Are you hungry? I could make us some dinner.”

You aren’t, really, but you ought to be. You suspect your appetite’s just clogged up with nerves. “Sure, I could eat.”

Peter hops up, seeming happy to have something to do. “Okay, sick.” He starts going through cabinets, energy zinging off him in every direction. “We have frozen pizza! Or, uh, leftover thai food, or mac and cheese. Ooh, and we’ve got breadcrumbs! We could crust up the mac and cheese, if we’re feeling fancy.” He looks at you, raising his eyebrows comically high.

“We can be fancy,” you say, trying to imitate his teasing tone.

You don’t think you pull it off very well. Peter frowns and sets the boxed mac and cheese down on the counter.

“Hey, are you okay?” You must look startled, because he softens the question with a smile. “You just seem a little spacey today. Is…are you having fun?”

“I am,” you say, perhaps too quickly. Your voice is tinged with desperation. You try again, more sincerely. “I am, Pete. This is fun. I’m sorry, I’m just a little out of it.”

“That’s okay.” He makes his way back over to the couch, folding a leg underneath him as he sits. His eyes are earnest on yours. Reassuring, even though he doesn’t know what there is to reassure yet. “What’s eating you?”

You try to look casual, make your tone sound offhand. “Have I mentioned that I’m nonbinary?”

Peter blinks. “Uh, no. I don’t think so.”

“Oh.” You grin, shrugging. Every move you make feels stilted and embarrassing. “Well, I am. I’ve just been thinking I should make sure you knew, just in case you didn’t.”

“Okay.” He seems a bit stunned, but he hasn’t broken eye contact with you. And Peter’s not looking at you like he’s seeing through the veil. He’s looking at you the way he always has. “Are you—is this your way of trying to tell me that you want me to use different pronouns for you?”

“What?” you laugh. “No. I’m not trying to tell you anything, just…I like you, and I didn’t want to, like, trap you in anything if you didn’t know.” The levity saps from your tone as you go on, until your voice is painfully quiet. “I understand if you don’t like me anymore. It’s cool.”

“What?” Peter repeats you, but the delivery is off. He sounds gutted. “Why would you think that?”

You shrug. You’re doing your best to look normal, but your face is burning something awful.

“You’re not—” he shakes his head. “You’re not trapping me in anything. Sweetheart.” Peter surges into your corner of the couch, crowding you as much as hugging you. Mindless of the viscous little plastic pieces biting into his knees. He smells like laundry detergent. “Thank you for telling me,” he says, face an inch from your ear, “but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Sorry to disappoint.”

You laugh, the sound embarrassingly choked. He rubs your back roughly.

“I can tell this is you just trying to get out of things,” he goes on with impressive lightness, “and I really hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me. We have a lego bouquet now. Those are binding.” You laugh again, and Peter’s voice drops to a more sincere register. “Thanks for telling me though, really.” He releases you, or partly, hands sliding down your shoulders to rest on the crooks of your elbows. “I like getting to know you. I’ll take whatever new material you want to give me.”

“Thanks,” you say softly. You muster your confidence, taking his forearms in your hands and giving them a friendly squeeze. “I didn’t realize the lego flowers were a contract, though. I think I may want to renegotiate my terms.”

Peter blows out a breath, shaking his head. “Sorry, can’t help you. There’s no backing out now.”

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ashtreme · 11 months

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Alex Turner - You’re Losing Me

Pairing : Alex Turner x (she/her)Reader Word Count : 2.2k Warning : Nothing I guess, just angst. Synopsis : He never looks into the small cracks, always only noticing that something was amiss when the dam has broken, letting the tsunami sweep clean everything on its way. Notes : Inspired by You’re Losing Me by Taylor Swift. I recommend listening to it while reading. This is my first Alex fic. Please be kind.

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Laying next to Alex has always been something she's dearly fond of. To listen to his heartbeat, tracing the lines of his tattoos, planting kisses to his beautiful skin and making him smile from the gesture. She loves it when the sun peeks through the window, making his brown eyes to look a few degrees lighter, as if they were a pool of honey. She loves everything about him. She loves Alex.

But she couldn't ignore the growing space between them. How the butterflies seem to have died down, hiding in their caves and never coming out again. His touches don't set her skin ablaze anymore. His kisses feel as if they were done out of habit, not really a form of communication. Everything that used to be the foundation of her ever so perfect happy ending started to crack, making the pillars of her fantasy to crumble.

“I don't understand.” Alex says, frowning.

Of course he doesn't. Alex was never great at these things. He never looks into the small cracks, always only noticing that something was amiss when the dam has broken, letting the tsunami sweep clean everything on its way.

“I know you don't.”

Alex pulls her close, embracing her tightly as if he's trying to cement her back to the ground. But hugs could only work one too many times until the earthquake hit harder, shattering everything that was already fragile in the first place.

She buries her face to his chest. Trying to block her vision from the light that is starting to find its way through the curtains. Her flat was located on the better side of town, making the lighting to be brilliant throughout the day, hence why they prefer to spend their time more on her place instead of his. But lately she's been wondering if she would like this room the same if the light was gone. Because it feels like her life is getting dimmer and dimmer each day.

And it's only a matter of time until the time's up.

She's tried to communicate all her worries, to try and make him understand about how things aren't really fine between them. That the flame is slowly dying. The wind is blowing strong at them and it feels like she's the only one trying to keep the fire alive. Even when it occasionally burns her.

“Don't overthink it,” Alex whispers to her ears “We'll find the way out.”

How? She wanted to ask. How could they find a way to fix it if he doesn't even seem to understand the problem? How would they work it out if he wouldn't even try to understand her troubles? How will they find the way out when he doesn't even know the void they're being stuck in?

“We'll make this work somehow.” He says again.

She wasn't sure if those affirmative words were for her or for himself, but she knew that the uncertainty in his tone weighs more than the meaning of the words. The bitter taste on her tongue was starting to be overwhelming. They're losing each other.

—-

Breakfast was dreadful. Her eyes were glued on him, waiting impatiently to have him break the silence. Her flat used to be filled with their chatter, cries of laughter over his lame jokes. Now the walls only echo the sound of records he plays before digging into his bowl of cereal. He hardly looks up to her. Only doing it when he needed to grab the milk or to check on his phone. Which only happens about twice in the course of 30 minutes.

She's tried to bring the light back to this place. To ask him questions or talk about what used to interest him most, yet none seem to work their charm as they used to. It was as if he's lost all interest. As if she was an overplayed song he's ready to skip from.

“So what are your plans today?” She finally asks, defeated to the realisation that he won't be initiating anything “Anything other than recording?”

Alex pursed his lips, shaking his head, “I don't think so.”

And then silence fell once more.

She lets out a sigh before standing up and heading to the sink. She could see him finally looking up, watching her walk away from the reflection of the windows, but she was tired of trying. They've kicked the day off with a sour start, she wouldn't want to burst and make it any worse than it already is.

Turning the tap, she begins to clean their dirty dishes. She could hear him walking closer. His pair of hands find their way around her waist as he rests his head to her shoulders. She hates it. The way he always seems to know how to calm the time bomb and add just another hour before it finally implodes. How he always seems to know the spell to cast the dark cloud away for the day, before a thunderstorm struck at night. How he always seems to know how to dust their problems under the rug for a while longer.

“Are you alright?” Alex whispers in between his hums to the song playing in the background.

She nods, closing her eyes as she tries to drown herself in the moment.

“Hey,” He says, turning the tap off and making her face him. He places her hands on her cheeks, gently cupping them before planting a gentle kiss to her lips “I love you.”

Do you really? Her eyes were staring back at him, trying to find that passion that used to bleed right through. Alex's expression was gentle, smiling at her softly and God just how beautiful and lovely he is right now. It was hard for her to tell if the genuine affection is finally back or was she just blinded by his beauty.

So she smiles halfheartedly, caving into his magnetism once more, “I love you.”

“That's the smile I so missed about.” He grins “I'll see you tonight, yeah?”

She replies with a nod. Watching him grab his brown satchel before heading out, blowing her a kiss as he closes the door. Somehow the flat doesn't feel any more silent than when he was still here.

—-

The table was filled with familiar faces. People she hasn't seen in a while; Alex's friends. They've always been such pleasant company, involving her in every conversation and jokes, yet it's rather ironic now to feel like she could connect with these people more than with the man that sleeps next to her at night.

He was gone the moment they stepped in the bar. Swallowed by the ocean of people, conversing with strangers she's never seen before in her life. The air feels suffocating somehow. She thought that the space between them was only felt at home, where no one else was around and able to see it, but now sitting next to an empty spot where he should be present feels like a hard slap to the cheek. The person who was always attached to her like a bee, the person who could never stop his hands to not hold hers, the person who could never stop humming romantic lyrics to her ears is now gone. Occupied by God knows what or who.

“Have you seen Alex?” She asks Matt who only just got back from the dance floor, taking the empty seat at the table.

The boy frowns, shaking his head, “No, I thought he was here.”

“He hasn't been here since we've arrived.” She says, her anger seeping through “Do you have any idea where he is?”

“Sorry, Love, I haven't seen him yet.”

Dissatisfied with his answer, she stood from her seat to go find Alex herself. Her temper was rising. Ignoring her presence within the walls of her flat was one thing, but to invite her for a night out only to neglect her and disappear entirely was just plain cruel. Sure she enjoys her time with his friends, but she wasn't here for them. She was here for him.

The bar was her first starting point. She scans the place where she last saw him, hoping to find the trace of where he might have gone to but the place was dimly lit and night was falling fast, making the establishment to be more crowded. Finding him would be a little more strugglesome now.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

She turns to the source of voice. A man who doesn't look much older than her stood with a smile. The stranger was leaning on the bar stool. He was decently dressed. Nothing about him triggers her alarm but no matter how kind he is or how charming he tries to present himself, she would never be interested in his offer.

“I have a boyfriend.” She says as she looks away, scanning through the crowd once more.

“Well, that's a shame.” He says as he gulps his glass of scotch “Where is he?”

“If I knew, I wouldn't be standing here now, would I?”

The stranger laughs, finding her annoyed words to be entertaining.

She ignores the stranger's response with an annoyed rolling of eyes, turning to her right where her eyes finally meet his. His disapproving knitted brows were visible. Alex was never the jealous type but he does have his moments and she knew that tonight was just one of her lucky nights.

She walks to him, looking straight at him with her head held high. He might have his take about the argument that she's certain would rise in a matter of minutes, but she's loaded with one too many troubles of her own. A big fight might actually glue them back together or perhaps, crush them entirely, but it was time for them to stop running in circles. It was time for them to face their problems.

“Can we talk?”

Alex nods, gesturing to her to lead the way.

Walking out of the bar and into a much quieter hallway, she folds her hands in front of her chest before turning to see him. His expression was unreadable. Hands buried deep in his pockets as if he's ready to brace the upcoming storm.

“So,” She begins.

“So.” He replies.

“Where have you been?” She asks, tone filled with frustration “You left me right after we got here.”

Alex shrugs, “I was just chatting to people.”

“And you didn't care to tell me or bring me with you?”

“I didn't think that it was necessary.” He reasoned, completely unaware of the sting it caused to her heart “Besides, it looks like you didn't really need my company.”

Her brows furrow in vexation, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” He sighs, once again taking the easy way out and brushing everything away “Look, can we just go back? I need to drink.”

The air was thick around them. It has been for a while and she's been trying to ignore it for as long as she could, but her lungs have finally collapsed. Her fortress could no longer hold the endless painful strikes. Her grip on him has finally been released, leaving a red bleeding wound on the place where his name was carved on.

“What are we doing, Alex?”

The fear in his eyes was evident but he tried his best to conceal it with a nervous laughter, “What do you mean?”

She remained quiet this time. Her chest feels tight. Just how long did he think they could keep this? How long will this ballad last? How long was she supposed to bear all these quakes to her tottering heart? The way out he promised was never found. Perhaps, they never truly looked for it. Already given up to the void that has swallowed them for God knows how long.

“Love, please,” Alex begs, his eyes pleading “Let's just get back inside.”

“Why won't you do something?” She asks again with beads of tears on her lashes “Why won't you say something?”

He remains quiet, face turning pale as he could see the end coming close.

“Why won't you lose something? Risk something? Choose something? Anything?” She asks, her sobs were getting in her words “I've got nothing to believe in, Alex. Not anymore.”

“Love—”

“Alex,” She cuts, shaking her head with a pained smile “It's not working. Stop lying to yourself.”

The fear finally plagued his expression. For the first time after what seems to be forever, she could see the genuine love radiating from his eyes. The gentle gaze and the warm affection that used to shower her everyday. But tonight they were accompanied with regret and guilt. As if he's finally realised that they've gone past the point to revive their relationship.

You don't know what you've got until it's gone.

“I tried,” Alex chokes “I really did.”

She nods, trying her best to stop her pouring tears, “I know.”

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #alex turner x you #alex turner x oc #alex turner x y/n #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner scenario #alex turner imagine #alex turner angst

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angelfleurry · 3 months

Note

hii! id like to ask a nagito x fem! ultimate hope! reader, if thats ok??! thanks for the attention!! <3

♡ Nagito X Fem!! Ultimate Hope!! Reader: ♡

Thank you so much for requesting, Anon! I just LOVE writing for Nagito honestly. I’m not the most perfect at it, but something about his particular character makes it really fun to write for! I just did little headcanons if that’s okay! I wrote it assuming it was light-hearted, but if you wanted something more serious I can!!

That being said, I really hope you like it! Have a wonderful day, my love, and feel free to request again whenever!

♡ You really do live up to the title!!

♡ You’re so determined it’s incredible.

♡ Whatever you set your mind on, it will be done. You don’t quit, you don’t give up.

♡ Most of all, you encourage others to continue alongside your own journey.

♡ That inspired Nagito so very much.

♡ As the Ultimate Hope, there was no falsity in the fact that you had gone through some intense events within your life. Whatever the nature of these events, you always seemed to rise above them in some way, never letting it affect your hope.

♡ In fact, living through these events only seemed to strengthen your hope.

♡ You often felt a little silly being within Hope’s Peak. You didn’t see how your talent could compare to the rest of the student body.

♡ But when a certain Ultimate Lucky Student started gravitating towards you, you had to rethink that opinion.

♡ It was a little confusing at first, what with him suddenly seeming to devote himself entirely to you, but you came to find a friend in him.

♡ Slowly, you too had begun to devote yourself to him.

♡ Eventually, it became more than a friend you’d found.

♡ You made a point to compliment and praise Nagito whenever you could.

♡ Something about his bewildered reactions amused you, but they also do come from your heart.

♡ You knew Nagito held a rather…degrading view towards himself, and sometimes it could be incredibly difficult to break him out of it.

♡ While aware you could not magically change his self-view, you were determined to make him feel as loved as possible.

♡ And, needless to say, you did that wonderfully!

♡ It didn’t even have to be direct words of affection, once Nagito would be met with your smiling face and a sweet welcome; he’d be in a frenzy.

♡ He didn’t understand - he couldn’t understand - why him?!

♡ What he did understand, however, was that he was completely and utterly undeserving of you.

♡ You were everything he admired, everything he wanted to embody, everything good he craved in the world.

♡ You were so incredible, so determined, so very kind…

♡ And, you were devoting yourself to him. *Him*, of all people!!

♡ He couldn’t comprehend it; what were you doing?!

♡ Still, though, it was working.

♡ Slowly, but surely, he was becoming aware that you intended to stay, and that you genuinely loved him for who he was; flaws and all.

♡ He adored you, and made sure that the act of giving affection didn’t just fall upon you.

♡ Words of affirmation were an incredibly important part of your relationship, both from you to him and him to you.

♡ You were everything to him; there was nobody else he treasured more.

♡ He just couldn’t understand how he was the same to you.

♡ He sung your praises constantly, regardless as to whether or not you were around. The praise in question would be about literally anything; your talent, you as an individual, the outfit you chose to wear - you name it.

♡ He is very poetic in the way he talks about you.

♡ Cuddles are a definite must between the two of you. It took a while, with Nagito being hesitant under the belief of him tarring your perfection, but you slowly managed to get him comfortable with it.

♡ Nagito appreciates the verbal affection you give him, but something about the physical affection you give sends him spiralling.

♡ He won’t say it, but he ADORES it when you lean into him desperate to be held.

♡ He feels you wrap your arms around him, feels your head against him, and he’s a GONER. Any source of oxygen he previously had is gone.

♡ He himself doesn’t tend to initiate physical contact though. He still feels like he needs to keep a distance from you, for your own protection from his luck, but it’s not as if he doesn’t enjoy the contact you give him. He loves it, even.

♡ But then, at the same time, there are moments where Nagito has a weird surge in confidence.

♡ He’ll reach you first, keeping you close, before then apologising and reverting.

♡ It’s confusing, and you try to encourage him to just do what he wants.

♡ He’ll just a give a light hum at that.

♡ Nagito loves listening to stories about your life. It doesn’t matter if he’s heard them all, he will be listening again, and he loves it.

♡ He loves hearing about the event that made you become the Ultimate Hope, but he also loves hearing little things as well. Anything about you, anything at all, he’ll whole-heartedly listen.

♡ You two can often be found curled up reading books together. It can be your own individual tastes, or you’ll both have a copy of the same book.

♡ The silence isn’t awkward, it’s rather calming. Nagito appreciates that you can be in his company without needing much communication. It brings him some reassurance about the nature of his luck.

♡ Sometimes you’ll go to the river and read, which is always so lovely. The birds and the gentle gushing sounds of the water always bring such a charm to the activity.

♡ You have this selection of perfume and scented body scrubs that you rotate on a monthly basis and he ADORES IT.

♡ He just thinks it’s so precious how you find joy in pampering yourself, and the gorgeous scents are always welcomed.

♡ In fact, you’ve offered some of your stuff to him before, and he loves the designs of the products. He finds them so beautiful.

♡ Certain scents just remind him of you now.

♡ He’s a darling when you’re on your period.

♡ He’s a little hesitant, unsure of whether or not he’s being patronising, but he tries to envision himself in your situation and is just so great at making sure you’re comfortable; even if you know how to live with it.

♡ To him, you’re so very dear, and he wants you to be happy.

♡ That ties in to the physical affection once again. You’ve both shared kisses on a few occasions, and everytime he finds himself questioning why you, the Ultimate Hope herself, are willing to partake in such intimacy with him.

♡ He worries he’s going to do something wrong, or that his luck will play up, or that you’ll grow tired of him and leave, but…

♡ Once your lips meet his, his mind kind of clouds over.

♡ You’re so delicate as he holds you close, butterflies kicking his stomach from all angles, fingers gently caressing the ends of your hair.

♡ Even just little, quick, kisses are everything to him. When you kiss his hand, or peck his forehead, or even plant one upon his nose, he’s smitten every time.

♡ You’ve fallen asleep whilst with him a few times, and every time he always stops to gaze at you in awe.

♡ “So peaceful..” he’d whisper, breath hitching, a soft fuzziness in his chest, “So…perfect.”

♡ He just likes to watch.

♡ He’s fallen asleep as well, and sometimes awakens to you playing with his hair.

♡ You do that when he’s awake as well, gently brushing through it and just fluffing it around.

♡ He just adores and appreciates you whole-heartedly. You really are his hope, his light, and he would do anything for you.

♡ He would die for you, self-inflicted or not.

♡ But, just having you there with him will do.

♡ He likes that a lot.

#danganronpa imagines #danganronpa scenarios #danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #x reader #goodbye despair #nagito komaeda #nagito komeada x reader #fem reader

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agirlwithglam · 2 months

Text

how to develop self love and confidence

— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥

disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

step 1: identifying the root cause

first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:

society

your looks

comparison

your abilities

childhood trauma

your current situations

it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.

for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"

step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.

here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)

society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!

your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)

comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!

your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!

childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.

your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!

step 3: focus on yourself!!

my favourite step!!

this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.

when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!

ask yourself: is there even something to love?

ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.

if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

small things/habits to start:

gratitude

hydration

exercising

journalling

meditation

eating healthy

developing a skill

get enough sleep

take cold showers

taking care of your skin

invest in your appearance

focussing on school/ your grades

go outside! go for walks, be in nature!

changing what you consume (resources below)

some resources that helped me SO MUCH:

♡ thewizardliz

♡ tam kaur

♡ persephone's mind

and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.

xoxo, vanilla

#agirlwithglam🎀✨#it girl tips💗💋#vanilla self improvement⭐️#self love #it girl #girlblog #confidence #self improvement #self validation #self worth #self love guide #that girl #girlblogging #that girl tips #it girl tips #it girl energy #confidence guide #confidence tips

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poemnic-tarot · 2 years

Text

Reassurance from The Universe, for those of you who need it

(Disclaimer : this is a general reading please only take what’s resonate)

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 1 Pile 2

Pile 3 Pile 4

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 1🎐

Card : You are limitless. You can do anything you choose.

Pile 1, the universe want to reassure you that you are safe and that it is also safe for you to let out your inner child. What you think may be too childish or weird to express in this world, the universe is saying that it is not. It is okay for you to be yourself, fully and freely. Express your authenticity without restraint. Your fear may be relate to when the last time you did this as a child or in the past, you were ridiculed, condemned, or judged. And that may have traumatised you. So you are scare to truly be yourself. But the universe is here to assure you that, you don’t have to be scare anymore.

As well as, when you do that there will be a new discoveries you’ll find. Perhaps a part of you that you did not know. If we spent most of our life keeping one part hidden, then there’s a high chance the rest of us that we haven’t explore or discover yet had also been ignored. And this new side of you that you will be discovering is limitless. There’s no limit as to who you can be. As Oscar Wild once said, “to define is to limit”. You do not need to label this new identity of yours. Think of yourself as an adjective instead of a noun if you’re having a hard time committing to one identity, then simply don’t. Example, you are not just a painter you see, you are everything you can be and think of. You are painting, you are writing, you are creating, you are cooking, you are learning, and so on.

When you let out a part of you that you have been suppressing (maybe since childhood) you will realised your potential and rediscover hidden talents and wisdom and answers that you have alway seek for. All the answer is within you all along. For those of you who create art, bringing those repressed part of you to light can help inspired you and your creativities, if you are having an artist block the solutions lies in the part of you that you’re hiding.

If you can let your true self shine, then you can literally do anything. The Universe just want to tell you that it is safe to be you and express your needs, show your hobbies, opinions or just simply, it is safe for you to exist. It is safe for you to be here in this world as who you are. When tides will be turning if and when you express your true feeling.

Let your inner child out, they want to be heard and explore the world. I know that it is difficult and take a lot of courage to show the world your truest self without the fears of criticism or judgement or comments. But the Universe want to reassure you again that it is worth it and truly nothing bad will come from this, only freedom and love and true acceptance, from yourself and others. True acceptance can only come from others when you have truly already accepted yourself. You are unique Pile 1, and the world need more of that, you will be doing the world a service to simply be yourself.

Affirmations : I am safe and trust others to allow me to express myself truthfully (throat chakra)

I have the strength and energy to do what needs to be done. I have the courage to do it

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise)

Wonders of Art (usually I only write a verse of my poem but I am call to write down the whole poem for you)

Our Art relates to our past

We created pieces inspired by the

Memories

Of once who we used to be,

All the pain, and loss

Turned into melodies

And sound of songs,

When we transformed all that lingering

Sadness

And string it to sing along,

The canvas of colour

Reflect the emotions

We wish to convey

When we have been led astray

Art and poetries brought us back

And in passion

We are here to stay,

Never the one to trust intuition

Ignorant of instinct, did not know

How much inner strength

Would have bring this wondrous creation’

- Wipawee @cant-find-my-name

Song: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney

‘You might need time to think it over

But I’m just fine moving forward

I’ll ease your mind if you give me the chance

I will never make you cry, c’mon let’s try’

Signs : Unicorn, Swans, Peacock feathers

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 2🍬

Cards : Focus on Love. Look for the good in everyone

Embrace your emotions. Allow your feelings to

surface and be accepted

Pile 2, the Universe want to reassure you that it is okay to love, or love again. The strong emotion that you are so afraid of that is holding you back from taking a leap of faith, the universe is asking you to ask yourself why do you feel the need to hold back?. This is a crucial point in your life in regards to love (not necessarily have to be only romantic love) something about love in general scare the fxxx out of you. Is it the fear of commitment? Are you afraid to be happy? Or do you think you are under deserving of love that you are getting, or that you fear you do not feel the same love to a particular person as you once did?. Whichever scenario apply to you, but the general theme is love. The universe is assuring you that those emotions of yours are not to be scare of. How you perceive a situation has a lot to do with how you feel about it. Your feelings can alert you to the truth of a situation. And the truth is not as scary as you think. The truth will free you.

Specific message for some, the Universe want to reassure you that you have made the right choice in regards to your romantic partner, or even to your friends or business partner. Do not fall into self sabotaging tendencies to find faults in that relationship to use it as an excuse to end it, because you’re afraid that it’s too perfect to be true. It is not too perfect to be true, it is true.

Please do not be scare to express your love to the ones you love. If they truly love you, they will feel honour to be on the receiving end of your love. Because you love people deeply Pile 2, and that kind of love scare you because you’re afraid that people will not reciprocate your feelings. The Universe is reassuring you that, there is no need to hold back your love. Example, if you want to confess your love to someone, your crush perhaps, do it. There is no greater regrets than the love that have never been express.If you love them truly you will respect their decision in regard to your action. It is time for you to see love in a new, healthier light, not something to be ashamed or scare of. Associate the emotions of love with more positive energy. Love is patient, love is kind, love feels divine.

Don’t hold back your affection or vice verse, if the one you love is being affectionate towards you and you feel uncomfortable because you’re not used to it, express that feelings. Thanks them because expressing loving gestures take immense courage, and you know that don’t you Pile 2?.Tell them that you appreciate their efforts and it’s helping you towards learning how to be more comfortable with receiving love.

Another specific message for some, if you think your partner doesn’t love you because they do not show it, please express this thought of yours to them, your needs and fears, open up. Tell them what it is that you need from them to feel more loved in this relationship, e.g. more praise, touch, etc. And see what’s happen. Do not come to a conclusion without expressing your needs first. And vice verse, ask your partner or friends what you can do to make them feel more loved?.

Do not hold back your affection, do not hold back your love. Whether from expressing it or receiving it because the universe is reassuring you that it is okay to feel all of your emotions. Even the ones that you perceive to be negative. This is a crucial time of your life Pile 2, when you decide not to hold back your love anymore whether to your friends or partner or family members, you will experience love like you never before. It will change your life for the better. The universe love you, unconditionally. You can love too, freely,cause love is abundance and limitless and a source of energy that will transform your whole being.It is okay for you to love and be loved , cause you are made from love. The universe created you with love. You are so Loved.

Affirmations: I release self sabotaging behaviours

I give my self permission to be alone,

connect with myself and appreciate my solitude

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise

Lover

And we feel safe in each other arms

I know you would protect me from

Harm,

Cause Lover

I would do the same

- Wipawee @cant-find-my-name

Song : Perfect by Ed Sheeran

“We are still kids but we’re so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we’ll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I’ll be your man

I see my future in your eyes”

Signs : Dragon, Gold, 1010, Wheel of fortune

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 3🥀

Card : Slow down.Pause and allow things to unfold.

My Pile 3, the Universe want to reassure you that, it is okay to slow down. Nothing bad will happen or things will not fall apart like you fear if and when you slow down. You are radiating an addictive energy to doing things, even if it isn’t productive or needed at all, a bit toxic masculinity vibe, grinding culture perhaps. You just need to do something because you’re afraid that if you slow down or god forbid enjoy yourself, things will crumble. Pile 3, your fears is ruling you because the reality is not as bad as it seem. Nothing that’s true and stable will crumble, if it did crumble, then it wasn’t stable in the first place.

Fear not, the Universe want to assure you that you can stop, step back, slow down and relax. And just be for awhile without doing anything. Nothing at all, and that includes thinking about doing the thing when you’re supposed to be doing nothing. You deserve rest, you need it, please be kind to yourself and give yourself what you need. If you think you don’t deserve rest, still rest anyway because what most people do not realise is that, rest and relaxation is as essential as eating and sleeping. People think they can’t function without eating or sleeping?, that is also true for resting and relaxation. You can do way more after you rested as opposed to continuing working continuously without stopping. Guess which one is more productive, if you are a person who value true productivity, then rest. Meditate,go for a walk in nature, take a nap , disconnect from technology, do these things instead to rejuvenate your soul because frankly Pile 3, You need rest more than anything else you think you need to do.

You think you can’t take a rest because you want to know the outcome of the situation or the outcome of that hard work you put in. Let go of that need to control. There’s no need to know exactly how things would unfold or turn out. Maybe reflect on why you can’t just let things be, even yourself, why can’t you just let yourself be?. Why do you feel the need to obsessed over everything. Are you scare that the outcome will hurt you if you don’t control it or that things will go wrong if you don’t keep an eye on it 24/7?.If you are a Virgo, watch out for a shadow attribute of Virgo.

The Universe want to remind you that you are depriving yourself of joy and pleasure of the moment. If you use all your energy to commands things to go exactly like you planned for, then where’s the energy left to actually enjoy the experience?. The true purpose of what you’re doing is to actually enjoy what you’re doing. If you associate doing things as a task or a chore, especially towards your hobbies ( which is what you should only do if you truly enjoy them BTW) , then truly you need to take a step back and ask you yourself why you are doing it in the first place. This might be the reason why you don’t enjoy what you used to anymore. The association you have with it changed.

Everything in your life is in divine order. There’s no need for you to go and order and reorder it, when it already is. Because that is not what’s important, remember what is truly important. Slowing down will allow you to appreciate what is in front of you, not what you are hurrying towards and miss the fun in the present. If you truly do not feel safe enough to let go of controls, ask Archangel Michael to assist you in the art of letting go. Ask him to protect you as you let yourself become vulnerable and surrendering to life and what will be, will simply be.If you ask for help in the first place, try not to be too arrogant to receive it.

The Universe want you to make time for reflection and solitude/meditation. It is utmost importance you do that to feel less like you’re running on a trade mill and going nowhere. Please be gentle and kind to yourself as you adjust to a new pace of life. If you’re used to running all the time because it is easier to keep going then to stop, but sometimes if you don’t stop, in the long run, the fall will be more brutal. And the universe do not want that for you. The universe want to reassure you that you can stop right now, go take a break as long as you need, because whatever it is you’re doing, it will still be here and will not become worse like you fear. Take time to breathe and let yourself just be.

Affirmations: I am kind to myself and other

I deserve to have fun and enjoy my life. Joy is my birthright

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise)

You are so Loved (see the full version at @cant-find-my-name)

Where you are is beautiful

You are here and it’s beautiful

The whole world at your feet,

All you can conquer

No expectations to meet.

- Wipawee

Song : Goodbye by Ramsey

“I can hear the sound of a heartbeat

Before it calls out

Won’t ever leave my memory

Of bloodshed all around

And I can see a tear on my father’s face

Before it falls out of my enemy

How could I have ever let you down?”

Signs - 99, Candle, Tuna, Aqua

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 4🥂

Card: Listen with Your heart.You are listening but need to hear with a loving heart.

My Pile 4, The Universe want to reassure you that what you decide to begin anew, whether it is a project, a new life, a new lifestyle, a new job or job position, a new relationship, or even a new outlook in life, it will become successful. Not only that, it will even exceed your expectations. Do not be afraid of disappointment because you think this is a new territory for you or it’s scary cause it’s something you’re new at , because if you listen to your heart closely, your heart is actually so excited by this new prospect. Follow your heart lead.

The Universe want to reassure you again that your hard work is being pay off. Even if you’re thinking that you didn’t work that hard or do anything, this is not only referring to the conventional hard work you are probably thinking off. For examples, You might have had work hard as being a better person, work hard to improve your lifestyle, a more positive outlook in life, working hard on your self confidence, or on your boundaries, shadow work, etc. Whatever it is, you will be rewarded for all your hard work. This will renew your soul and zest for life, prepare to get lit up 🔥 Pile 4 (in a good way). When there are offering coming in for you and if your soul call to it, please take it. Whether that is an idea, or an invitations, or a promotion. Take it and you won’t regret it, in fact, you will have a great time and it might even lead you towards your idea of success/satisfaction.

The Universe want to reassure you that you are taken care off, materially, financially and spiritually. All your needs will be met. Think of what you need the most right now and Pile 4, your wish will be granted. Timeframe depends on what you’re asking for. ‘No need to worry you are taken care of’. So, listen to your heart for once. Go and enjoy yourself, have fun.Your happiness is within you and you have all the tools to make yourself happy, light up with joy, right now.No need to wait for an external events to come and bring it to you.

For those of you who never do what their heart want/wish because of duty and responsibilities, well the Universe want to assure you that, it is time. Time to listen to your heart because it will guide you towards success and what you wish for. When you listen to your heart, it will never led you astray, instead, might even lead you to where you didn’t even know you needed to go. Pile 4, it is alright to follow your heart this time.

Specific message, if you’re heart is telling you to buy something for a while but you haven’t because it’s too expensive, or because you convince yourself you don’t need it, please buy it Pile 4. Your heart want what your heart want,whether that is a trip, a luxury item, or a business class on a long flight etc. Buy it, there will be more where that came from.

Also please never judge what your heart want or desire. Sometime we shamed it plea consciously or unconsciously because it has been done to us by other people when we express our heart desires. Example, if your heart yearned for a beautiful house but your mind goes ‘in this economy?’,or when you express to your friends you want a pink car and they called you childish etc. These invalidation might not be done with bad intentions but regardless, your heart don’t know that. All it feels is immediate rejection to it wishes. The heart want what it want, and listening to it without judgement is a small step towards obtaining that wish. You deserve everything that make you happy and make your heart soar Pile 4, Everything.Whether that is recognition, materials things, a romantic interest etc. The Universe want to tell you that enjoy it,celebrate it, bath in it, because you deserve every happiness that’s about to come your way Pile 4.

Affirmations: I have everything I need to be happy right now

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise)

Authority

If my heart is now the Authority of my life

How would it look like?

I think the word indulgence come to mind

But whereas before that brought up shame

Now?

Aren’t indulgent what you’re supposed to

Aim for in life?

- Wipawee @cant-find-my-name

Song : Venus by Sleeping At Last