#kth fanfiction
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Crazy for You | kth
☆summary: you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?
☆pairing: Kim Taehyung x female reader
☆rating: 18+
☆genre: best friend’s older brother to lovers, a little bit of fake dating trope, idol!au, angst, smut, fluff, snippets of life
☆warnings: alcohol consumption, getting ghosted before the story takes place, lying/hiding the truth to a best friend for months, unclear relationship (and what comes with it aka reader feels cheated on (rightfully so?)), sort of miscommunication? but not really, cursing, mention of a grandparent passing away, a very awkward dinner with all the members and their own readers (no one is named, gets a little redundant? but since everyone is a reader, it had to be done), pregnancy (at the veryyyy end of the fic), explicit content: virgin and unexperienced!reader, dom!tae, praising, fingering, ass slapping, tits play, oral sex (female and male receiving), tied-up sex, whip (not really used in the fic), dirty talking?, protected and unprotected sex, jerking off, taehyung is lowkey a freak
☆word count: 46.8k
☆a/n: as per usual, thank you to the beautiful @moonleeai for beta-ing this fic for me. Your work is forever appreciated <3. Also, I really hope you will enjoy reading this. It took me a lot longer to write than my usual fics because I was burned out in December and I just couldn’t function properly but I’m really proud of the result nonetheless! Enjoy your reading <3
Read the other establishments in the Life Goes On series here!
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There was a small house at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by trees and fields. When the sun set, it coated the house with golden light, making it stand at the end of the road like it was straight from a postal card. Bushes sprinkled with wildflowers stood on the two sides of the red door that was always left open. It led into a kitchen that had held laughter, tears and late-night conversations, along with home cooked food made with love.
You had grown up in that house next to your best friend Eunjin and her two brothers, Taehyung and Jeongyu, and your own brother. Though Taehyung had left when you were still young, moving to Seoul to pursue his training. It had led to you being a lot closer to Jeongyu even though you were mostly Eunjin’s friend. Your own brother had followed after Taehyung, always being closer to the older Kim sibling in the first place.
The house at the end of the road was pretty, with a cozy look to it that made you want to settle down after a long day of work. As your car pulled in the driveway, memories of your childhood came back to you, bringing a smile to your lips.
You remembered playing soccer with Eunjin, her siblings and your brother, and chasing after frogs on rainy days. You had come home covered in mud from the fields more than once, yet Eunjin’s parents had always been nice about it. Same as her grandmother had been, though the older lady had passed away a few years ago.
Your car slowed down as you neared the house until it came to a full stop. You took the keys out of the engine, gaze wandering on the different cars you could see.
Eunjin had organized a small get-together with close friends to celebrate her getting the job she had always dreamed about. Some of her family was also going to be there, cousins that you had seen many times before. All the cars you could recognize, except the gray one that was the nearest to the house. It had your brows furrow as you threw your car door open and stepped out.
You breathed in the fresh air of October, eyes shutting as you let yourself absorb the cool aura of the countryside. You hadn’t been here in years, ever since you had moved to Seoul, and you were glad to be back. So you took your time to breathe in the air and the atmosphere, letting it bring you back to days when you didn’t know what it was to be surrounded by concrete, only knowing fields and open air.
Your eyes eventually fluttered open, gaze moving to the front porch of the house. There was a figure standing there, a man you hadn’t expected to see.
Kim Taehyung was leaning against one of the pillars holding the small roof of the porch, a quaint knowing smile on his lips. You didn’t know how long he had been standing there, and you blushed as you took in the sight of him.
Taehyung was wearing a pair of brown dress pants along with a pale loose shirt that was tucked into the pants. He had rolled up his sleeves, revealing the tan skin of his forearms and the expensive watch on his wrist, and his hair was pushed back as if he had run his hands through it too many times.
You met his gaze in the distance, gulping as he seemingly looked you up and down once before his eyes locked with yours again.
“Y/n”, he greeted you.
“Taehyung”, you said back, eyes falling to a puddle in the dirt in front of you. You bowed, just a little, before glancing behind you at your duffel bag on the backseat.
Taehyung’s gaze followed you as you grabbed it before starting to walk towards him. There was something weird about the aura surrounding him and you weren’t quite sure if it was because you hadn’t seen him in almost six years or because the confident smile on his lips intimidated you.
Maybe it was a little bit of both.
You met his gaze again as you stopped in front of him, offering him a tight-lipped smile. “I didn’t know you were going to be here”, you admitted and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Eunjin made me stop here on the way back from Busan”, Taehyung explained. “After the concert.”
You had heard about that concert. A free concert that had rocked the whole world for a time. It was strange to think that Taehyung was so famous, especially as he stood in front of you, with that same childish glint in his eyes that he had when he was younger. It was stranger to think that you were friends with his sister and that your life somehow was intertwined with Taehyung’s.
“Oh”, you let out. Your eyes slid to the door, right as it opened to reveal your best friend.
“Y/n!” Eunjin squealed as she ran out, wrapping her arms around your neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”
You chuckled, hugging her with one arm. “We were together a week ago”, you reminded her.
She tutted as she pulled away, grabbing your duffel bag from you and handing it to her brother. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and bring that inside, asshole?”
Taehyung rolled his eyes at his sister, before meeting your gaze. “I’ll do it for you, not for her.” He offered his sister a glare and then winked as he met your eyes over her head.
It left you with a dumbfounded look on your face as Taehyung disappeared inside. Eunjin’s brows knit together, and she turned towards you. “What the fuck was that?”
You were as confused as she was, so you simply shrugged your shoulders before motioning to the inside of the house. “Should we go in?”
Eunjin didn’t seem like she wanted to let it go, yet she didn’t mention it again as she pulled you in behind her. “Everyone’s already arrived.”
Indeed, as soon as you walked in you were greeted by a crowd of friends, along with the family members Eunjin had mentioned would be there. They greeted you warmly, but your eyes diverged to the stairs as Taehyung walked down them. He pushed his hair back, his gaze meeting yours for a few seconds. He offered you a tight-lipped smile as he raised his eyebrows, but Eunjin pulled you away before you could reply.
All it did was bring a light blush to your cheeks, one you did your best to ignore as Eunjin handed you a bottle of beer.
“Drink up, you’ve got some catching up to do”, she told you.
You let out a small laugh. “I don’t drink beer.”
Eunjin rolled her eyes, fists resting against her hips. “You will today.” She glanced at a spot over your shoulder. “I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”
Her words were immediately punctuated by cheers, and you turned your head towards the sound to see some of your friends cheering one of Eunjin’s family members as he chugged a beer. Your eyes widened, and you resumed your attention on your friend.
“What is going on here?” you asked.
You had never done parties like that. Had never really been allowed to do parties like that. It surprised you that Eunjin’s parents were letting it happen under their roof, yet Eunjin just brushed it off with a shrug of her shoulders.
“My parents told me that as long as we don’t break anything I can throw a party like in the movies.”
You looked at her pointedly. “Don’t people always break stuff at parties like in the movies?”
Eunjin laughed heartily, shaking her head. “Not under oppa’s careful attention.” You followed her line of gaze to see Taehyung punching his cousin in the shoulder before leaning in to say something in the young man’s ear. His enthusiasm seemed to deflate for a time, until Taehyung offered him a winning smile that had the happiness bleed back into the young man’s features. “He’s telling everyone to stop when they get too intense.”
It was unlike Taehyung, or rather unlike the Taehyung you had known years ago. Taehyung had always been the first one to want to have fun, to pull pranks on his siblings or to tease everyone and everything around him. There was still that same mischievous glint in his eyes today, but as the oldest he seemed to take his responsibilities seriously.
You wondered what his parents had told him to make him behave like that.
“Good thing he’s here then”, you said, before taking a swig of your beer.
You winced at the taste and the bitterness it left behind and Eunjin laughed at your expression. “Oh come on, it’s just a little beer.”
“Drink it then”, you said, pushing the beer towards her.
She shook her head and before she could speak, her younger brother threw an arm around her shoulder.
“Y/n!” Jeongyu greeted you. He had a large grin on his face, one that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I’ve missed you.”
“And yet you choose to hug your sister?” you teased him. “Come here.”
Jeongyu laughed, a little drunkenly, before stumbling into your open arms. He hugged you firmly, lifting you off the ground. You let out a yelp and your eyes met Taehyung’s as he moved closer.
You couldn’t quite read his expression, but he seemed surprised. As if he hadn’t really seen you before.
“What’s gotten into you?” Taehyung asked. For a moment, you thought he was addressing you as his eyes still held your gaze, but he tapped his brother’s shoulder.
Jeongyu immediately put you down, before offering a small pout to Taehyung. “Just happy to see Y/n, hyung.”
Taehyung arched an eyebrow prettily. “No need to crush her like that.”
“It’s fine”, you reassured the man as Jeongyu let you go. You met his gaze, offering him a bright smile. “I’ve missed you too, Jeongyu.”
A crooked grin appeared on the younger man’s lips. “How has Seoul been, nuna?”
The three siblings put their full attention on you. Usually, when it was just Eunjin and Jeongyu, you found it easy to talk to them. But right now, under Taehyung’s attentive gaze, you found you didn’t really know what to say.
“Uh”, you let out. “It’s been good.”
“Do you still work at the same office?” Taehyung asked. He furrowed his brows slightly. “What was it again?”
“Yes, I still work at the same place”, you answered. You chuckled, and a slight blush moved on your cheeks. “Still work for Samsung.”
Taehyung pursed his lips. “I don’t know how I managed to forget that.”
“Maybe because you haven’t seen her in years”, Eunjin pointed out.
Your best friend’s words ended the conversation, and you looked down at the floor as you took a sip of the beer. The liquid was as disgusting as it had been a moment ago, but it kept you occupied for a time, as the siblings started bickering.
If one thing hadn’t changed between the three of them, it was their constant bickering. Taehyung looked a lot younger then, and you found it easier to hold his gaze. The blush stubbornly remained on your cheeks, but you had always been the type to blush easily. Especially when alcohol was involved.
And Kim Taehyung, apparently.
Soon enough, the group of you moved to join the rest of the people attending Eunjin’s celebration. You found yourself sitting together with the friends you had gone to high school with, while Taehyung and Jeongyu moved to stand with their family members. Eunjin kept going from one crowd to another, ever so the social butterfly, accepting the congratulations people were offering her without even batting an eyelash.
Every now and then, your gaze slid towards Taehyung. You caught the older man looking at you on more than one occasion, and each time he offered you one of his tight-lipped smiles. The times when he wasn’t looking brought you back to when you were younger. To when you were fourteen and crushing on your best friend’s older brother.
You hadn’t thought that that crush still existed until butterflies swam in your belly at the sight of Taehyung’s boxy smile as he laughed at someone’s joke.
You looked away then, figuring it was better to ignore Taehyung. And it was, as you were surrounded by a crowd of your friends, and everyone of them were buzzing with energy. Jests were exchanged between the group, inside jokes you hadn’t thought you remembered as you all reminisced about high school.
The party kept going on for longer than you thought, even though most people weren’t sleeping over. You found yourself drinking more than you had expected, as you realized that beer didn’t taste so bad after your third bottle. It had your mind swirling in the sweet ecstasy of alcohol, and your initial repulsion to the idea of drinking disappeared into thin air.
If you were to party, you’d party grandly until dawn would inch to the horizon, tainting the sky in bright colors. And you did just that, joining Eunjin in a couple of alcohol games. It was fun with her cheering you on, and you won more than half of them, beating most of your friends. Your successful streak ended when you played against Taehyung and Jeongyu, though Jeongyu didn’t contribute to the game a lot. Indeed, Taehyung told him to sit down on the couch, as the younger man was far too drunk to even stand straight. It made you laugh, and you stumbled a little, taking an unexpected step towards Taehyung.
Taehyung caught your elbow and you looked up to meet his gaze. He had a stern expression on his face as if he disapproved of you drinking. You furrowed your eyebrows, before shrugging off his grip on your arm.
“Is something wrong?” you asked.
He seemed surprised by the outburst, and his eyebrows shot towards his hairline. “Ah, no, everything is okay.”
There was an awkward silence between the two of you, and you only then realized that Eunjin had been pulled away by one of her cousins.
Taehyung had pretty eyes. A dark gaze, one that you felt as if you were falling in as you looked at him. It had your mind turning dizzy, which wasn’t quite a great mix with the amount of alcohol you had ingested. Taehyung must have noticed your face paling because he grabbed your hand ever so gently, before pulling you behind him.
“What are you doing?” you asked, even though you offered him no resistance whatsoever.
He glanced at you over his shoulder, a strand of dark hair falling in his eyes. “You look like you need some fresh air.”
You knew he was right, but something about him making the decision for you felt wrong.
“I can be the judge of that”, you said, planting your heels in the ground.
Taehyung didn’t stop, though he offered you a small laugh. That laugh did things to your mind that you couldn’t quite explain, though it made you stumble forward. You fell against Taehyung’s back, face digging in the soft fabric of his shirt.
You inhaled a whiff of his cologne as you tried to regain your footing, and when you finally were able to stand by yourself, you realized your hand had wrapped around one of his biceps. Your other fingers were still prisoners of his hand and you blushed before letting your hand fall to your side.
“Sorry.”
Your apology was uttered barely above a whisper, but you were standing so close you knew he had heard it. Or maybe you knew because his grip on your fingers tightened, his thumb brushing the back of your hand.
“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Let’s just get some fresh air for you.”
This time, you obeyed, not feeling like making a fool out of yourself again. Your lips instinctively formed a pout, but you followed Taehyung across the living room, up until you reached the front door. He glanced over his shoulder and you tried to meet his gaze but he was looking over your shoulder. You followed his line of sight, though found yourself unable to figure out what he had been looking at before he pulled you out, shutting the door gently behind him.
The world outside was dark. Fresh, and it smelled of humidity and soil, and all the smells autumn holds. Taehyung had let your hand go as soon as you were outside and you took a step forward, moving away from the light of the porch as your eyes instinctively looked up to the sky and the endless blanket of stars. The moon was hidden somewhere and all you could see were all the little imprints of light up there, promises of worlds unexplored by humanity. Worlds that had maybe died a long time ago, yet their existence was just now reaching Earth.
You wondered if there was someone out there, looking out at their own stars and seeing the Sun. It was a strange thought to have for your drunk mind, yet it strangely sobered you up as you felt small.
“Do you think we’re alone in the universe?” you asked.
You glanced back at Taehyung. He was still standing next to the door, hands in his pockets, and he had a bewildered expression on his face. Eyes slightly widened and mouth hanging open, as if he was about to say something. Yet he remained silent and the way his eyes met yours felt intimate somehow. Like you indeed were alone in the universe, the last bastion of humanity, and Taehyung was taking the sight in.
It felt strange to be looked at like that when no man had ever looked at you for more than a few seconds.
“Sometimes I think we are”, Taehyung finally replied. He took a few steps towards you before craning his neck to look up at the stars. It had you resume your attention on the night sky, right as Taehyung spoke again. “But then I think the world is never-ending, and new stars are born every day and I realize the odds that we’re the only place that life happened are way too slim.”
You remained silent, taking his words in. They were weird in your dizzy state, though you did feel more sober now that you were outside. Now that you were alone with Taehyung and not stuck inside a too-warm house. A house that you would always consider a home, but really you weren’t quite sure you were one for parties like the one Eunjin was throwing.
Or maybe you just had too much to drink.
“When you begin to think about it, what were the odds of life happening?” you mumbled, a little more to yourself. “Like, what were the odds that our ancestors would exist and then have babies up until our parents and like…” you trailed off, brows furrowed as you tried to make sense of the thoughts in your head. “Like what were the odds that we both would be standing here tonight, looking at the stars?”
Taehyung let out a laugh. A clear sound in the fall night, that warmed it up just a little bit. “Are you drunk or high?”
“I’m just saying, life is a series of coincidences”, you said. You glared at him, brows knitted together, only to find him already looking at you.
You could only see half of his face in the dim light coming in from the porch. The half you could see was soft, the visible eye filled with an emotion you couldn’t decipher. All you knew was that it made the eye sparkle a little, with a glint that put the stars to shame. The other half of his face was casted in shadows, yet it didn’t hide how handsome Taehyung was.
And he really fucking was.
“Well, I’m happy this coincidence brought you here tonight”, Taehyung said.
You didn’t know what to say, only knew that you were weirdly attracted to him. Like a moth to a flame and you knew you were going to get burned. For some reason you couldn’t stop.
“I can’t believe it’s been like six years since we’ve seen each other”, you murmured.
Taehyung’s lips spread in the tiniest little smile. “I’ve been pretty busy.”
“I always thought we were friends”, you muttered, and your eyes moved away from his face, looking up at the sky once again. Maybe because you didn’t have the strength to look him in the eye while you were to speak your next words. “I was sad when you stopped replying to my texts.”
Taehyung tensed next to you. It made the night air a little colder, and you shivered as a heavy silence moved between you.
It was true. You had used to talk to Taehyung once in a while, encouraging him and congratulating him whenever BTS had won awards. You had acted with him like you acted with Jeongyu, treating him like someone you were close to… but then one day he had started replying with short messages instead of sentences, and then it had moved to emojis. And one day he had just stopped replying and you had been left wondering what you had done wrong.
For a long time you had thought he had known that you had been crushing on him. It had been over then, but you had always imagined it could explain why he just had stopped replying.
Eunjin had never known. No matter how close you were to her, you had never dared tell her that you had feelings for her brother, and you hadn’t mentioned that Taehyung had sort of ghosted you. If she had noticed she hadn’t said a thing.
“Life just got in the way, I guess”, Taehyung said. His voice was low, as if he too was aware of just how bad the excuse sounded. “I never meant to stop replying.”
You were pretty sure he had, but it was water under the bridge.
“Whatever, I don’t really care”, you joked, nudging him with your elbow. “At least I got to see your sorry face today.”
Your voice was strained, even to your ears. It felt awkward to be speaking to him like that and you wished you could take the words back.
“We were friends, if that can reassure you.” Taehyung ignored your last comment as he continued, “You were always like a little sister to me.”
The words didn’t sting like you had thought they would. Maybe because he had employed the past tense.
“Anyway.” You chuckled, granting him a glance. He was looking up at the sky, and you followed him, eyes moving to the many constellations that were lighting up the night. “How has this whole BTS thing been going? You are so big now.”
The atmosphere seemed to shift, falling back into a warmer state. “It’s been crazy. I still can’t believe I get to live this life.”
“I mean.” You paused, wetting your lips. ���You worked hard for it, you deserve it.”
There was another silence, and a soft breeze moved on your features, though its coldness had you shivering again. You hoped Taehyung didn’t notice, because you didn’t feel like going back inside just yet.
“Thank you”, Taehyung breathed. “It does get…” He chuckled, as if he hadn’t meant to speak.
“What?” you asked, and your eyes trailed to him.
“It gets lonely sometimes”, he finished, meeting your gaze. The raw truth behind his words almost had you stumbling back. “Especially now that we aren’t doing everything together anymore.”
You felt sorry for him, yet you didn’t have any words of reassurance to offer. You lived a far simpler life than his, with a small crowd of friends that you kept close to you. You didn’t feel lonely, though at times you did picture yourself having someone around, someone more. It was a strange thought to have, one that had never really crossed your mind before. You didn’t know if it was because you were getting older, and everyone around you had already lived through many relationships.
Then again it wasn’t like you had ever been interested in a relationship anyway.
“I’m sorry”, you apologized. You didn’t know what for.
He shrugged his shoulders, eyes trailing back to the sky. “Don’t be.” It was his turn to nudge you with an elbow. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”
He wasn’t wrong and you had nothing to answer to that.
“Do you have anybody in your life?” he asked after some time.
Confusion moved through you, and a crease appeared between your eyebrows. “I mean, I have Eunjin and my family. Even Jeongyu and the rest of them.”
He threw you a no-bullshit look. “You know I didn’t mean that.”
That… That? Was Taehyung asking you if you were dating anyone?
“What?” you let out. You flushed red, and if it wasn’t for the remnants of the alcohol in your system you probably wouldn’t have been able to speak. “Why do you want to know that?”
He laughed at your flustered state. “I’m just trying to make conversation.”
You squinted your eyes as you looked at him, a little suspiciously. It had him laughing this time, boxy smile on display.
You were pretty sure that smile could stop wars.
“No”, you breathed out. “I’ve never dated anyone.”
Maybe that was too much of a truth, yet it fell from your mouth with nothing to stop it. Taehyung looked surprised, and his brows moved up.
“Why?”
You shrugged your shoulders, looking away from him as a warm flush coursed through your upper body. “I don’t know. I’ve never really been interested in a relationship before.”
He pondered about it for a time. “You sound like it has changed.”
“I don’t really know.” You pursed your lips, before saying, “It just feels weird to be twenty-six and to haven’t even had my first kiss yet.”
You hated yourself. You hated yourself and your stupid mouth that never knew when to shut up. You hated yourself even more as your words met a stunned silence. You wanted to decipher the expression on his face, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him.
What a coward you were.
“There’s nothing wrong with that”, Taehyung said. He spoke carefully, as if he was afraid he’d speak the wrong words.
Oh.
“No I know.” You chuckled, wetting your lips before biting the bottom one in a nervous manner. “It’s just that I’d want to have done it all, just never had the opportunity.” You pursed your lips, furrowing your brows. “I mean, I had opportunities, just wasn’t interested until I realized I’m a little old for this.”
Taehyung chuckled beside you, a deep baritone sound that put a stop to the spiel of words falling from your mouth. “You’re not too old, Y/n.”
The way he said your name in that low voice of his… your mind went haywire.
“Everyone does it in their own time.” He turned until he was facing you, before grabbing your hand again, like he had been holding it when you had first come outside. “You’re freezing, we should get back inside.”
Only you weren’t ready to let the conversation go. “I’m fine.” You didn’t pull your hand away from his as you continued, “Do you think I’m attractive?”
From the way he was standing, more light was illuminating his features. So, you could see his jaw clenching as he held your gaze unblinkingly, eyes turning dark. “You’re drunk, Y/n, let’s get you to bed.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
He sighed, eyes dipping to your lips. “Yes, you are. Why would you think you aren’t?”
“You’re saying that just to make me happy.”
He chuckled, the sound a little bitter, entirely different from his previous small laughs. “I’m saying it because it is a fact.”
You took a step closer to him, angling your face up so he could gaze down at you.
Drunk you really was a menace to sober you, wasn’t she? Because you weren’t talking about kissing. You were talking about so much more, and you could tell Taehyung knew.
“Prove it”, you breathed.
His eyes widened again, but soon they were overcome by darkness, a cloud that covered the light you had seen there before. He wet his lips, looking at you, shaking his head slightly as if he didn’t believe you were real. He then leaned down to speak into your ear. “You just want to be touched, do you?”
Your blood started boiling in your veins at the feeling of his warm breath on the side of your face. “I want to know why people like sex that much.”
“I could show you.”
To have Kim Taehyung say that to you turned you into playdough. Playdough that he could mold into whatever shape he preferred and you didn’t even care. It was your teenager self’s fantasy after all.
And maybe you should have been worried, by his willingness to show you. Maybe you should have been ticked off by it, yet you still found yourself whispering, “Please show me, Tae.”
He didn’t move or say anything for a long time. So long that you found yourself pulling away, up until you could gaze at his features.
His eyes were closed but at the feeling of your gaze on him, his eyelids fluttered open. “You’re drunk”, he repeated his previous words. Yet the dark look hadn’t left his features, the low tone hadn’t left his voice. “Let’s see if you still feel the same tomorrow.”
There was a high chance that you’d just be embarrassed as all hell, yet you found yourself agreeing. Because really you wanted to die under the intensity of Taehyung’s gaze. No one had ever looked at you like that before, and you didn’t want him to look away. You were aware it was the alcohol singing in your blood, and it would all come crashing down when you’d wake up with a pounding headache the next day. Yet you found yourself agreeing.
Maybe because the devil had never looked as good as Taehyung did.
*****
Light poured through the window next to which you were sleeping, encasing you in a prison of warmth and brightness that made you wake up feeling dehydrated. Your blood was pumping in your ears and your whole body felt as if it was burning. You cracked an eye open, wincing as the sun blinded you. You put a hand on your face, letting out a small whimper, before sitting up on the mattress, face turning away from the window.
You only then opened your eyes again, freezing when you noticed where you were.
Taehyung’s bedroom. You were sleeping in Taehyung’s bedroom. You looked around, eyes skimming over the familiar furniture, heart beating out of your chest. It made you dizzy again, as you tried to remember what happened last night.
You didn’t remember a lot, after that conversation you had with him outside. But what you remembered of the conversation had you wanting to throw yourself off a cliff. You had flirted with Taehyung. He had flirted back, had told you he could show you…
Just the thought of it had you letting out a small curse, and your head fell into your hands. What had you done?
“Good morning”, Jeongyu said from the doorframe.
You startled, looking between your fingers. He had a shit-eating grin on his face. “What?” you let out.
He chuckled. “Why are you wearing Taehyung’s t-shirt?”
You glanced down at your chest and sure enough, you were clad in a white Celine t-shirt, one you knew fully well belonged to Taehyung.
“Aish, what is going on?” you mumbled, hands falling in your lap.
“Don’t worry, hyung slept on the couch downstairs. You were pretty wasted last night.”
Blood rushed to your cheeks. “Did I do anything weird?”
“Not particularly”, Jeongyu said, shrugging his shoulders. “I was pretty wasted myself. Honestly, only Taehyung was sober.”
Taehyung was sober and still had told you what he had? What hell had you stepped into?
“Why are you guys so loud?” Eunjin grumbled. She came into view, her hair a mess as she let out a yawn. It took her a moment to register that you were currently sitting in her brother’s bed, wearing one of his shirts. When she did focus on the scene, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “What the fuck?”
Jeongyu punched her in the shoulder. “You’re lucky appa didn’t hear you say that.”
There were so many questions in Eunjin’s eyes it had you chuckling awkwardly.
“I don’t know”, you said, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know anything.”
“Bitch, you better have some explanation”, Eunjin replied and she walked in, making her way to you. She put her fists against her hips, and you let out another laugh as she stopped in front of you.
“Ayt, I’m out”, Jeongyu said before disappearing.
“Did you sleep with my brother?” Eunjin asked.
You winced at the sound of her voice, eyes shutting. “Why are you speaking so loud?”
She huffed, stomping on the ground. “Answer me, Y/n.”
You cracked an eye open, meeting your best friend’s gaze. “I don’t remember last night but I don’t think I did.”
“Where’s the fucker anyway?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “No idea.”
And really, Taehyung was nowhere to be found. Even when you and Eunjin finally made your way downstairs, Taehyung wasn’t there. A look out the window of the living room told you that his car wasn’t in the front yard anymore, and you tried to hide your disappointment as best as you could.
You hadn’t expected him to leave so soon after what he had told you that he could show you. Teach you even, about sex. It made your embarrassment ten times worse, especially as Eunjin kept pressing for questions. Questions you didn’t have answers to because, frankly, you hadn’t a clue as to how you had ended up in Taehyung’s room.
It was a confusing shitshow indeed.
It remained that way for two weeks, as you went back to Seoul and to your regular office life. Focusing on work helped to get your mind off of Taehyung’s words, and of the shame that choked you up whenever you thought about what you had said to him.
The worst part about it all was that Taehyung didn’t talk to you at all. Didn’t text you, didn’t call. Some part of you had expected him to, the foolish part of you that had been reminded of your crush on him. But no, Taehyung became a ghost in your life again, as if Eunjin’s party had never happened.
Eunjin, on the other hand, didn’t become a ghost at all. No, your best friend forced you to hang out far more than you usually did, as if she was still reeling from getting her new job. You didn’t blame her, it was her dream job after all. But it did get tiring, as you went out for drinks a couple of nights in a row, with people she knew and you didn’t. She always made sure that you felt included, but you had always been a little more on the introverted side.
Maybe that was why you found yourself deciding to leave early on the latest night out. You had been drinking soju with Eunjin and her new coworkers, playing drinking games that had your blood slowly fill with alcohol. The fresh air helped the dizziness that had taken over you and you walked in the night, content with your sudden loneliness. You watched the people around you, bowing your head politely, and soon enough you found a snack stand. You were ordering some tteokbokki for yourself when your phone rang in your purse.
You fumbled with the zipper of the purse, drunk fingers clumsy as they tried to hold on to it. It took you a moment but soon enough you fished your phone out of your purse, fingers holding onto it as if it was a treasure. The lady behind the little snack bar offered you a curious glance but you ignored her as you picked up the call right before it went to voicemail.
“Hi!” you let out happily, hiding your mouth behind your hand when you realized how loud you had spoken. There was silence on the other side of the line, apart from the sound of music. You furrowed your brows, assuming it was Eunjin. “Eunjin-ah, I’m on my way home.”
There was a chuckle. A man’s chuckle. A surprisingly deep chuckle. You looked at the screen of your phone, blinking a few times at the name you read. Taehyung. Why the fuck was Taehyung calling you now?
“Hi, Y/n”, he said.
You quickly put the phone against your ear again. “Why are you calling me?”
“I wanted to hear your voice”, he answered, his deep baritone voice sending shivers down your spine.
You scoffed. “You don’t talk to me for two weeks and then you tell me that?”
He didn’t reply for a long time, as if he felt guilty. You really hoped he did because he totally deserved it.
“I’ve been busy”, he replied. “But I’m hosting a party right now and it’s missing you.”
You barely heard his words as the snack lady offered you your tteokbokki. You thanked her before moving towards one of the empty wooden tables that stood next to the stand.
“What?” you said once you were sitting.
“Do you want to come over?” Taehyung asked.
You furrowed your brows, holding your phone with your shoulder as you opened the paper pack that held your chopsticks. “I’m eating.”
“Where are you?”
You looked around, startling when a car honked in the street. “At a snack bar next to Eunjin’s work.”
“I’ll come get you”, Taehyung said. He sounded determined, and it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?”
“Why do you want to come get me?” you asked, digging your chopsticks in the tteokbokki. It was rosé tteokbokki, and you couldn’t help the little content hum you let out as you ate.
“What was that?” Taehyung asked.
He sounded like he was moving away from the music and soon enough all you could hear was the sound of his breathing.
“My rosé tteokbokki is hitting good”, you replied. “Please don’t come, though.”
“I want to see you”, he said matter-of-factly. “I’m coming no matter what you say.”
You pouted. “You don’t even know where I am.”
“You’re at the tteokbokki stand near Eunjin’s work”, he pointed out. “That should be easy enough to find.”
You whined. “Please, Taehyung, I’m drunk, I don’t want to see you.”
“Well good thing the drive is going to take a while, you’ll have plenty of time to sober up.” He paused, and you could hear a car door opening and closing.
“I’ll be gone by the time you get here.”
You could almost hear him rolling his eyes on his side of the line. “Do you even live within walking distance from Eunjin’s work?”
Your stubborn silence was answer enough.
“See, just send me your location and I’ll drive you home”, he said.
You looked up at the sky, watching the moon behind the clouds. “You said something about a party, no?”
The sound of the engine coming to live covered your words, right as the call switched to his car’s Bluetooth.
“What did you say?”
You wet your lips. “You mentioned a party when I got my tteokbokki.”
“I’m hosting a party right now, but it doesn’t matter”, he replied.
“Can you even drive?”
He chuckled. “I have stopped drinking for a little over two months.”
So he had been sober at Eunjin’s party? You winced, hiding your face in your hand. “Gosh.”
“What?”
You shrugged. “Nothing.”
There was a long silence, as you focused on eating the tteokbokki. Anything to not think about how embarrassed you were. Taehyung didn’t hang up though, as if he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to bail on him. Truthfully, you didn’t really want to walk home alone, not now that Taehyung had reminded you of just how long the walk would have been.
“Can you share your location?” Taehyung asked after a few minutes of silence.
You bit your lower lip, pulling the phone away from your ear so you could do so. “Did you get it?” you asked as soon as you were done.
“Yeah.” There was a brief pause, and Taehyung let out a small chuckle. “Eunjin got you drunk and left you alone once again?”
Your brows knitted together. “What?”
“Like at her party”, he pointed out.
You winced, shaking your head. “I doubt this is like her party.” You ate some tteokbokki, appreciating the flavor before swallowing. “How did I even get to your bedroom?”
“I carried you to bed because you were starting to pass out on the couch”, he admitted. “You don’t remember?” There was a vulnerability in his words, as if he regretted his actions.
“No”, you let out. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
He remained silent, but you could imagine the smile that was playing on his lips.
“When should you be here?” you asked after a time.
“ETA should be fifteen minutes”, he answered. “You still have some tteokbokki left?”
You looked down at the almost empty bowl. “There won’t be when you arrive.”
He laughed. “That’s okay, I’m not hungry.”
You nodded, finishing your bowl as Taehyung focused on driving. You brought it back to the lady before sitting back at the table, eyes going up to the sky. It reminded you of when you had stargazed with Taehyung, and all the things you had told him.
“I’m sorry”, you apologized.
“About what?”
You shrugged. “For what I said at Eunjin’s party. I shouldn’t have told you all of that.”
“It’s okay”, Taehyung reassured you. “That’s why I kept my distance.”
His words rang in your ears for a time, and blush crept on your cheeks. “Oh.”
“But I figured two weeks was plenty enough”, he added, as if he had sensed your disappointment. “I missed being close to you.”
Your blush only deepened as you played with the hem of your shirt. “Have you?”
“Of course I did”, he said. “You’ve always been important to me.”
You pursed your lips, suppressing the smile that had wanted to form on your lips. “Then it’s a good thing you called me tonight.”
“It truly is.”
You shared another silence, one so long you almost thought Taehyung had fallen asleep on his side of the line. Hadn’t you known he was driving you might have hung up, but you wanted to stay with him.
That damn crush.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes”, Taehyung said. “Are you asleep?”
“No”, you replied, suppressing the yawn that you had almost let out. “I’m just chilling.”
“Good.” He paused, and you wondered what he was thinking. You wondered what had made him decide to come back into your life like that.
It was hard to know, as Taehyung had always been private about his life. Even when he was younger he had never really shared anything with you. Maybe that was just because you were his sister’s friend and not his, or maybe it was the age gap. Not that he was all that older, but three years could be a lot sometimes, especially growing up.
“I’m parking the car”, Taehyung told you. “Are you okay with walking to the corner of the street?”
You glanced at it, noticing the same SUV that had been at their parents’ house the day of Eunjin’s party. “Are you in the gray SUV?”
“Yeah.”
A rush of adrenaline coursed through your blood. “I can see you.”
He chuckled. “I think I see you too.”
A shy smile broke on your lips as you got up. “Don’t look at me walking, it’s just going to be awkward.”
“I don’t think anything can be awkward between us after what you said two weeks ago”, Taehyung teased. You could hear the smirk in his voice and it made you stop in your tracks.
“Taehyung!” you shrieked.
He laughed heartily, a laugh that had your insides feeling weirdly warm. “I’m just playing with you, come here.”
You obeyed, eyes focusing on the cracks in the cement. You were too afraid to catch Taehyung’s gaze if you looked up. “I’m going to hang up now”, you mumbled, and Taehyung let out another laugh that was cut off by the line going out.
You reached his car, walking around it to open the passenger door. Taehyung offered you a warm smile as you got in, one of his boxy smiles that used to make you go crazy when you were younger. After what he had just said, all you wanted was to punch his teeth in, but you instead chose to stare at a spot on the dash.
“Hey there”, he greeted you as if you hadn’t been talking over the phone for a while already.”
“Hey.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, where do you live?”
You blushed, glancing at him once. “Let me put it into your phone’s GPS.”
He nodded, offering you his phone. You quickly put the address in, before handing the device back to him. His long fingers closed around yours as he grabbed the phone, sending shivers right through your spine.
Taehyung had attractive hands. You had always been aware of it, but having his fingers on you, even though it was barely a touch… it made your insides go crazy.
“Damn, it’s a longer drive than I thought”, he said.
You nodded, playing with the hem of your shirt again. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have made it home by foot.” You met his gaze then, right as he turned his key in the ignition and the engine sparked to life again. “Thank you for coming to get me.”
“Anytime”, he said, and his features melted into a softness that made you look away once again. “I’m sorry Eunjin left you alone.”
“She did not!” you quickly said, a defensive tone taking over your voice. “She would never leave me alone.” You threw him a glance, only to notice he had an eyebrow cocked and he was holding in a smile. “What?” you let out.
He chuckled, eyes darting towards you before focusing on the road again. “Why are you so quick to defend her when it’s clear that that’s what happened?”
A small angry pout formed on your lips. “I chose to leave because I didn’t know her friends and it was awkward.” You folded your arms on your chest, looking outside the window. “I’m a grown woman, I can make my own decisions.”
“Like telling me that you are a virgin?”
Your eyes rounded in surprise as you turned towards him so quickly your neck almost hurt. “Taehyung, what the hell!”
He laughed heartily again, and the sound had your insides filling with butterflies. “I’m just teasing you.”
“Please don’t.”
You exchanged a quick look before his eyes slid to the road again. You hoped he hadn’t noticed your turning a scarlet red from his words, but you were pretty sure he had. For all his teasing and childishness, Taehyung was a very observant person.
“I’m sorry”, he apologized after a time.
You sighed, pursing your lips. “It’s okay.”
Silence engulfed you, and you looked outside at the lights of the city again, leaning against the car door to get a better view. You could feel Taehyung’s occasional glance on your profile, and you tried not to let it get to your head.
Tried and failed, as you realized you were currently sitting in his car. Just the two of you, far from the usual setting that your friendship consisted of back in Daegu. As if time hadn’t changed anything between you, except where the friendship took place. In the neon lights of the world outside, Taehyung looked as if he hadn’t changed at all, as if he was still the boy you had had a crush on.
Or maybe that was only because your crush had definitely come back now, playing with your mind as you tried to ignore him.
“Do you want to listen to any music?” he enquired, his deep voice sending a chill through your spine.
You hadn’t expected the question, and your eyes slid to his handsome profile. “Uh, what do you listen to?”
“Lots of different stuff”, he said, catching your gaze for half a second before looking away. “Mostly jazz though.”
A soft smile grew on your lips. “Right, you’ve always loved jazz.”
He chuckled. “How do you know that?”
You flushed pink, once again looking away. “You’ve made it pretty obvious.” You cleared your throat, trying to hide the embarrassment that was choking you. “Don’t you play the trumpet or something?”
“I do.” He ran a hand through his hair, the motion catching your attention. “I play many instruments.”
You knew. You had heard him play many of them in the past, and had even played with him when you were younger, when he was just your best friend’s older brother.
“Do you remember when we did a show for your parents and your grandmother?” you asked, as the memory came forth in your mind, overpowering your other thoughts.
You could still see the scene. You had been in the field behind their house, with Taehyung playing the saxophone while Eunjin played the violin. You had just been playing around with your flute, and Jeongyu had refused to participate saying it was going to be a horrendous show, your brother tagging along with him. They hadn’t been wrong, and the whole thing had ended in a fit of giggles the adults had shared with you all.
“You were the worst flutist”, Taehyung said, a soft smile moving on his lips at the memory. “It was cute.”
Blush found its way back to your cheeks. “You thought I was cute?”
“Of course.” He nodded, before glancing at you again. “You’ve always been cute.”
His words stopped your heart in your chest, and when it started again you were pretty sure the erratic beating was going to kill you. It rendered you speechless, and your hand instinctively shot towards the radio display screen of the SUV. You clicked on the music app, quickly putting music on to hide the awkwardness that had filled the air.
Taehyung didn’t say anything right away, but you knew he had noticed. He probably had heard the wild beats of your heart too.
“Don’t be shy”, he murmured in a low voice. He wet his lips, before continuing, “I’ve been thinking about you constantly since Eunjin’s party.”
Could he see your hands were shaking because of how shy you felt?
“Ah.” You gulped as you tried to swallow. “Have you?”
“It’s hard to think about something else when you asked me what you did.”
For a reason unknown, his words calmed the shaking of your hands, heat trickling inside of you until you felt far too hot for your own good. “Forget about it, you know, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“What if I want it?”
This couldn’t be happening. Kim Taehyung couldn’t say he wanted you. He was too far out of your league, made of stuff women all around the world dreamed about. Just because you had known him before he was famous didn’t make you any different.
“Taehyung…” you trailed off, unable to find words to say. All you could do was stare at his profile, eyes falling to the lips he wet with a dart of his tongue.
“I know you drank tonight so not tonight, but I’d like to hang out with you, Y/n.” He glanced at you for a moment, long enough for you to see the intensity that had taken over his gaze. “If that’s something you would like.”
From the way heat was collecting at your core, you were pretty sure you couldn’t refuse the offer. “I’ve sobered up, by the way.”
You let your words hang in the silence that stretched between you, only interrupted by the soft jazz music that was playing over the car speakers.
“But we’re almost there”, he said, eyes sliding to you as his car slid to a halt at a stop sign.
There was courage in you. Courage you had never even thought you had, and you spoke the next words without an ounce of hesitation. “You could come up with me.”
He chuckled, as if in disbelief, looking away. “Ah, Y/n, you cannot do this to me.”
“You are the one that said you want to hang out with me.” You paused, heart beating wildly in your chest. “Prove it.”
“Are you sure you are not drunk anymore?” he asked.
“I was just a little tipsy”, you pointed out. “I never was drunk.”
He slowly nodded. “Right.” He ran a hand through his hair, before looking at the road again as the car started moving. “I’ll come up with you then.”
You nodded too, unable to find any words to say. All you knew was that you were going crazy inside, and that you weren’t even sure you’d make it up to your apartment. In truth, you were quite convinced you were going to have a heart attack right then and there.
You wet your lips, gulping as you swallowed trying to wet your throat that had turned dry. At the same time, knowing that Taehyung wanted to hang out with you… it made you warm inside. Made the butterflies feel safer, and the reciprocity of wanting to spend time with you made them realer. To think he’d step foot in your apartment… it filled you with an excitement you had never really known before, and all you knew was that you couldn’t wait for him to step in the private place that was yours. A place only your closest friends had ever been in before…
Yet there was a dangerous aura surrounding Taehyung. Something you hadn’t really seen before, an intensity to him that attracted you the way fire attracted a moth. It made your breathing a little shorter, and the beating of your heart a little faster.
What had you gotten yourself into?
*****
Your apartment felt small, now that Taehyung was standing in the middle of it. And really, it was a small place. A loft, with your bed in one corner atop a small flight of stairs, and a couch in the space between the kitchen and the so-called bedroom. There was a clock on the wall above the couch, and a TV on the wall facing it, though you never really watched TV all that much. Most of the time when you were at home was spent chilling on your laptop, watching k-dramas online or videos on Youtube.
The plant your mom had gifted you when you had moved to Seoul proudly stood under the TV, next to a TV cabinet on top of which pictures of you and Eunjin smiled back at you. There were pictures of your family too, and you knew that one of them held a very young Taehyung, along with Eunjin and Jeongyu. Taehyung hadn’t noticed it yet, but you knew it would only be a matter of time.
“Welcome to my humble abode”, you said as you motioned to the space surrounding you, trying to ease the nerves that were threatening to overcome your senses.
Taehyung flashed a grin at you, one that had your insides going molten. “It’s pretty cosy, I like it.”
His words made you redden, and your eyes fell to the carpet in front of the couch. It was a plush light gray carpet, on which you lay whenever things got too intense at work and you needed a break from life. You could almost imagine the shape of you in the carpet from the last time you laid there, and you focused on it as Taehyung’s heavy gaze moved on your profile.
“Thank you”, you breathed before looking at him. “It’s clearly not as fancy as where you live but it’s what I can afford.”
He chuckled. “Who says I live somewhere fancy?”
You threw him a no-bullshit look, folding your arms on your chest as a reply.
“Okay, I might live somewhere fancy”, he said, raising his hands in defense. “No need to glare at me like that.”
You flushed red again. “I didn’t mean…”
“Y/n, you’re fine”, Taehyung reassured you. “I’m only teasing you.” He flashed another one of his boxy smiles, and you couldn’t help but smile at him too.
“Do you want something to drink?” you asked, moving towards the refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen space. “I don’t have much but I think I have banana milk.”
“Are you Jungkook-ie?” he asked, taking you by surprise.
“What?”
He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s just that Jungkook always drinks that.”
“I don’t blame him, it is so good.” A small excited smile took over your lips as you grabbed the milk from the fridge. “It’s heaven in a bottle.”
“People usually say that about alcohol”, Taehyung pointed out.
“That’s because they’ve never had banana milk.”
He laughed again, and it made your apartment seem warmer than it usually was. It made you feel warmer too, and you met Taehyung’s gaze.
He was beautiful. Incredibly so. The kind of man you were convinced women wrote books about. A man with a softness to him, a vulnerability to him that had always made him attractive to you. No matter who he was now, Taehyung had been the center of your gravity when you were younger, even though you had tried to play it cool. Years of not talking had not changed that, and you found yourself gravitating back towards him as you started drinking your banana milk.
“Can I have a taste of that?” he asked, voice falling to his baritone register.
Even his goddamn voice was attractive to you.
You took a long sip, letting the taste dance on your tongue before you handed the milk to him. His eyes met yours, and he looked at you as he drank, gaze never once faltering. It was intense, the way he looked at you, and you found you were too much of a coward to hold it. But when your eyes fell to his lips, you realized maybe you weren’t a coward all that much.
Because you desperately wanted to step closer to him and feel his lips against yours.
He handed you the banana milk back before sitting on the couch. You carefully watched him, eyes going down to his lap as he spread his thighs just a little.
Manspreading had never looked as good as when Kim Taehyung was doing it on your couch.
You moved closer to him, sitting with the top of your body angled towards him. He glanced at you, a small smirk adorning his lips. It left you confused for a time, but then again you were fully aware of what he might be thinking.
Hell, you had all but told him you wanted to sleep with him a few weeks ago. And had reiterated it in his car a little under an hour ago.
“How’s work been going?” he asked, taking the conversation on an unexpected curve.
You were glad for it though, because you had no idea how to approach the other subject, the elephant in the room. “It’s been busy, but I’ve had busier weeks”, you admitted. “I imagine it’s not as busy as you.”
“I’m pretty sure working for Samsung can get busy.” He raised his eyebrows, offering you a tight-lipped smile as you were about to deny it. “Don’t lie to me, I know you too well.”
You didn’t know your body could tingle from someone’s word. “Do you?”
A lazy smirk grew on his lips, and your eyes fell to it. “Oh, I do. After all this time, I still do.”
You had no idea how to interpret it, but it did make you feel hot again, like he had made you feel in the car. It was strange to think that it came naturally to Taehyung – making you feel like that. As if he knew the ins and outs of your brain even better than you did.
And maybe he did.
“How is this going to work?” you asked, a little awkwardly as you motioned between the two of you with the hand holding the banana milk.
Avoiding the elephant in the room was pointless after all. You busied yourself with a sip of banana milk as Taehyung’s face fell serious, looking away from you as he seemed to think.
“What do you want to know?” he asked after a time, his words echoing the conversation you had had under a blanket of stars in Daegu.
“Everything”, you replied, throat going dry once again.
He wet his lips, eyes dipping to yours. “You’ve never done anything at all, right?”
As embarrassing as it was, you nodded your head.
“Then I can’t do everything yet, can I?”
You gulped, slightly shaking your head.
“Use your words, Y/n.” The low voice he had used to utter your name made your blood boil in your veins.
“Why can’t you?” you asked, voice small.
“You deserve someone that takes their time with you”, he breathed.
You wondered if he could hear your heart beating out of your chest. “Someone?”
“It’s a good thing I’m the kind of man that likes to take his time”, he continued, not really answering your question. Your teeth instinctively dug in your bottom lip, and you froze as he reached up, thumb releasing your lip. “Don’t do that.”
You slowly nodded.
“Why don’t you finish your milk so we can get started, mmh?” he said, his low baritone voice engulfing you in its warmth as his hand slowly fell to his lap.
You gulped once again, eyes falling down to the forgotten plastic bottle in your hand. You looked at it as if it was foreign, before taking a small sip. Taehyung carefully watched you as you did so, intense gaze observing your features in a way that made you feel seen, like you had never been before.
As if no one had really seen you until Kim Taehyung had been gazing at you.
“I can always finish it later”, you muttered, before putting it down on the floor next to the couch. You sat back, angling your body towards him even more.
“Look at you, so eager to learn”, he said, smirking again. “No wonder you told me what you did that night.” He wet his lips and you found yourself unable to look away from his mouth.
“Gosh, Tae, do you speak to all women like that?”
He offered you a secretive smile, hand moving up between you until his thumb was pulling your lower lip away from the teeth you had unknowingly sunk into it. “Only to the pretty ones.”
Your breath caught in your throat, though you weren’t sure if it was because of his words or because he slowly leaned towards you. Anxiety moved through you, and you widened your gaze as his eyelids fell shut, right before he gently pressed his lips against yours.
You froze, unmoving, not knowing what to do as the plumpness of his mouth met your lips. Taehyung let out a small chuckle as he pulled away, eyes opening to meet your gaze. “Close your eyes, Y/n”, he breathed, caressing your bottom lip with his thumb again. “Just follow my lead.”
You nodded, and your eyelids fluttered shut as he kissed you again, ever so softly. Lips establishing a slow rhythm, one you found easier to follow after the first few seconds. Taehyung’s hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer, as he turned his head into the kiss, angling his mouth so it met yours in a more intimate embrace.
You sighed, blood rushing to your cheeks as your thoughts zeroed in on the fact that you were currently kissing your childhood crush. A man wanted by so many girls in the world it was hard to believe he had chosen to be with you right now, in this moment.
It almost made you pull away, but when Taehyung swiped his tongue against your lower lip, all thoughts exited your brain and your hand shot to his chest, resting flatly against it. You could feel the beats of his heart, a constant melody that seemed just a little too quick for it to be normal, contrary to the erratic beats of your own heart. You could feel every beat as it echoed in your ribcage, pumping blood to your whole body, and maybe a little more to the warmth between your legs.
Taehyung’s tongue tasted your lips again, and this time you parted them, allowing him entrance. You let out a small breathy sound as his tongue met yours, and you could feel his mouth stretching into a smirk as he continued kissing you, rhythm still ever so calm and soft. As if he didn’t want you to be scared or intimidated by the act of kissing him.
You were way beyond that now.
Taehyung tasted sweet. He tasted of strawberries and honey, and it reminded you of the farm. Of days of summers past, spent in his company and that of his siblings and your brother. It reminded you of sunrays and warm breezes, of leaves dancing in the wind and birds singing in the trees. Of laughter echoing in the house with the red door at the end of the dirt road, where you had grown into the person that you were today.
Taehyung was reassuring, in a nostalgic kind of way. And maybe that, most of all, was the reason why you felt so comfortable with him, so willing to give yourself away to him. You didn’t know if it was safe, if the Taehyung you were with right now was the same that you had known back then, but you found you couldn’t stop.
You found you didn’t want to stop kissing him. Not when the very act of it was intoxicating, liberating, as if you were a bird that had just learned how to soar up above in the clouds.
He brushed his thumb on your cheekbone, bringing you back to reality before gently pulling a stray strand of hair behind your ear. It made butterflies take flight in your stomach, right as you deepened the kiss, pushing your tongue in his mouth just like he had been doing to you a moment ago. Taehyung answered by sucking on it, ever so gently, before pulling away.
The absence of his lips against yours grounded you back into reality, but you kept your eyes closed, chasing the remnants of the kiss in your memory, letting his flavour linger just a little longer.
“You’re such a good girl already”, Taehyung murmured, and his words had a burning sensation take the place of the soft warmth in your core.
“Tae…” you breathed, opening your eyes.
You found him already looking at you, with a slightly widened gaze. As if you were a surprise, something he had never thought he’d see. And maybe you were.
“For someone that has never kissed before, you sure know how to do it”, he said, always a little tease, and his lips spread into a smile. Into a grin, even.
Your blush deepened, right as the corners of your mouth tugged upwards too. “I followed your lead.”
He smirked. “As I said, you’re already such a good girl.”
You chuckled, a small feminine sound you hadn’t expected to have in you. Taehyung echoed it by tilting his head to the side, watching you as if you were a curiosity.
“What now?”
Your question had his mouth parting, smirk disappearing. His eyes clouded with that same desire you had seen earlier, turning darker than they already were. And Taehyung had a dark gaze, a gaze so deep you knew you could get lost in it.
You wondered how many girls had gotten lost in him before. The thought was almost enough to shower your arousal away, yet it clung to you as Taehyung ran a hand along your arm, fingers barely even grazing your skin.
“You will have to be patient, Y/n”, Taehyung said, offering you a wicked smirk that had your insides turning gooey. “This was your first kiss, we shouldn’t jump into something more right away, mmh?”
You wanted to ask why not, but the sweetness that had taken over his voice at his last words stopped you from doing so. Because it was sweet, the way he spoke. As if you were worth all of his time, a show he wanted to appreciate in its full length instead of rushing to the end.
It was a dangerous way to feel. A treacherous one, and you could already feel the ground beneath you tilting, threatening to make you fall. You could only hope your feet wouldn’t give up underneath you, or else you’d slide down the slope.
“I’ve already waited my whole life”, you pointed out, your lust finally winning over your will to remain silent. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Taehyung’s mouth spread in a thin line, as if your words had threatened to make him fall into insanity. He tsked, slowly shaking his head in disbelief. “Then why don’t you take off your shirt?”
You paused for only a half beat before grabbing the hem of it, pulling it over your head. The discarded piece of clothing met the floor, falling softly. Like a feather would fall, a feather from one of the many pillow fights you had shared. It was as if time had slowed, and it really felt like it, as Taehyung’s gaze dropped to your chest, drinking in the sight of you.
“So beautiful”, he whispered, and one of his hands reached forward, palming your breasts over your bra. You stiffened a little, and he met your gaze again, hand pulling away, remaining close enough for you to feel its warmth still. “Is it okay if I touch you?”
You nodded, doing your best not to think more than needed.
He chuckled. “I want to hear you say it.”
“Please touch me”, you quickly said, voice hitching in your throat as Taehyung grabbed you with that big hand of his again, leaning forward to catch your lips in a passionate kiss. It didn’t take long for his other hand to grab onto your other breast, and he pinched your hardened nipples through the fabric.
You moaned. It was an unexpected sound, one that came from deep within your throat. It seemed to set Taehyung haywire, because he grunted into the kiss, biting at your bottom lip. It made you moan again, right as his hands reached to your back to unclasp your bra. He only pulled away once the piece of clothing met your shirt on the floor, eyes falling to your naked breasts for half a second before he moved down, licking at one of your nipples.
Your hand moved in his hair, digits slightly shaking as you grabbed a handful of it to pull him back into another kiss, one that had your teeth clashing together. It didn’t slow you down. Not even a little bit, as Taehyung played with your nipples again, rolling the hardened buds between his thumb and forefinger.
As foreign as the feeling was, it made you arch your back, moaning in his mouth again. He kept going at it for a time, until his lips left yours to move down your neck, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses along your jaw and down to your collarbone. He sucked on it, leaving a small purple bruise behind before going lower, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. You could feel every swipe of his tongue on the sensitive bud, and your eyes fell shut as you arched even more, pushing your breasts into his face as he massaged the free one with one of his hands.
His other hand hovered at your waist, holding you gently. As if he wanted to give you a chance to escape if you wanted to, but still needed to feel more of your skin against his careful digits. And you wanted to feel more of his, you wanted to feel all of his body pressed against all of yours.
A dangerous way to feel indeed.
“Tae…” you breathed again, pulling at his hair a little.
He looked up at you, lips glossed by his ministrations against your nipple, or maybe by the kiss you had previously shared. “Everything okay?”
“I want more.”
He smirked, that same wicked smirk that made you burn inside. “Be patient, Y/n.”
You let out a frustrated sigh, one that hitched in your throat as the hand that was hovering next to your waist moved between your legs, barely grazing your clothed pussy before resting on your inner thigh.
“I won’t have sex with you tonight”, Taehyung told you.
And though the revelation disappointed you, you slowly nodded your head. “That’s okay.”
“I didn’t bring any condoms”, Taehyung added. “Otherwise I’d fuck you all night long.”
His crude words made your eyes widen, right as you pressed your thighs together in the hopes of getting a little friction where you desperately needed it. “You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.
Taehyung offered you a toothy grin that inched far closer to endearment than lust. “I can and I will.”
You rolled your eyes, though they rolled to the back of your head as he pressed his hand against your core again.
“So receptive”, he praised you. “Why don’t you lay on your back?”
It was a command in a clever disguise. You were pretty sure no one could ever disobey Taehyung, not when he spoke with that deep baritone voice of his. You moved, lying down, legs going on each side of him. He looked down at you, hungrily, teeth slightly biting at his lower lip as he drank you in.
And he did drink you in, making you feel as if you were the finest bottle of wine he had ever tasted. The nectar of the gods, ambrosia making him salivate with the thought of tasting you. Of tasting more of you, all of you, until he knew every flavour of you.
“What do you think of when you touch yourself?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he ran a hand on your thigh.
Even though you were still wearing pants, the press of his fingers against you had arousal pooling at your core. Always more, your body responding to him in a way it had never responded to you.
You remained silent, half trying to think about a witty answer and half trying not to moan as he pressed a thumb on your clothed self, right on top of your clit. And he pressed hard, a shot of sensitivity running up your spine and making your legs tighten around him. He chuckled at your reaction, before releasing the pressure just enough for thoughts to start taking form in your head again.
And you didn’t know the answer to his question. Most of the time you just thought of romantic scenarios that you had seen in movies or read about in books taking the forefront of your fantasies. But as you looked up at Taehyung through half-lidded eyes, you knew your fantasies were going to change, to morph into the man between your legs.
“I don’t know”, you replied, breath itching in your throat as he pressed harder again.
“Should I give you stuff to think about?”
It was the low voice. The baritone timber of him. You’d let him tell you anything with that voice of his.
Blood rushed to your cheeks as he watched you pointedly, clearly expecting a reply.
“You already are”, you mumbled, and he offered you another wicked smile.
“Then let’s make this better, mmh?”
You would never refuse him making you feel better. So you nodded, arching your back a little as your hips instinctively grinded up into his hand. The dark gaze returned as he pushed you down, before bending forward to press a kiss on your jaw.
The proximity of his mouth to yours had your lips parting open, and a second later your mouths crashed, another passionate kiss searing the deal between you. Burning it into your flesh, turning you into his. Because the way Taehyung kissed you, the way he touched you… It made you feel as if you were his.
And maybe you had always been.
As he kissed you, Taehyung let his hand wander up to your waistband, fingers blindly searching for the button of your pants. Once that was freed, he slid his hand in, sighing in your mouth as you sucked on his bottom lip.
“Fuck, Y/n”, he said. “You’re dripping.”
The sound you let out was incoherent. Somewhere between a moan and a whine, and it disappeared into his mouth, swallowed by him as he kissed you again. And he kissed you for a while, his hand not moving from where he was touching you, above your panties, fingers pressed to your middle.
As if he wanted to feel your juice soaking your panties until they became uncomfortable.
“Do you want me to finger you?” he asked once he stopped kissing you, resting his forehead against yours.
The gesture was sweet even in the heated atmosphere, and a shy smile grew on your lips. “Please”, you murmured.
His hand left you and you almost whined at the loss of contact. You heard fabric rustling, and your eyelids fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt, hungry gaze waiting for yours. And when your gazes locked, Taehyung wet his lips with a dart of his tongue, mouth falling open before it slid into a smirk.
That smirk was going to be the death of you.
“It’s unfair that I’m still fully dressed when I’m about to take your pants off, no?” he teased, even going to the extent of winking at you as he shrugged off his shirt, sending it right to your own shirt on the ground.
As much as his face was attractive, your eyes fell to his body. And it was your turn to drink in the sight of him, to admire the perfect sculpted body displayed in front of you as if it was fine art. Beautiful art, crafted into the shape of the man between your legs.
Once Taehyung was bare-chested, he moved back to your pants, thumbs hooking in the hem as he sent you a questioning glance. You answered by cocking an eyebrow, not really knowing why uncertainty had slid into his gaze.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he enquired, voice gentle yet firm.
Asking for consent like that made Taehyung twice as attractive to you. You nodded your head, biting your lips. “Never been so sure about anything.”
You were bold tonight. Bold under the dark gaze of your best friend’s brother. Someone that had once been the source of all of your daydreams. Teenage you probably was screaming inside of you, somewhere in the corners of your heart where she still reigned. Yet you felt courageous in the vicinity of Kim Taehyung, as if him being attracted to you made you feel twice as powerful. And really, it did. You felt beautiful in his presence.
“That’s good”, Taehyung said, a cocky smirk once again gracing his lips as he started pulling your pants down.
You helped him get past the ass area, before lying back down on the couch. Your gaze remained lost in his as the pants moved all the way down your legs. And he moved slowly, taking his time, enjoying every shiver that shook through you whenever his fingers pressed into your skin a little harder.
Once the pants were off – the socks had come off with them – Taehyung settled himself between your legs again. His eyes hadn’t left yours yet, but you knew that he wanted to look. Knew that he was fighting the male instinct to gaze down at your core, and at the wetness that was pooling on your clothed pussy.
His large hands slowly moved to your thighs, settling right above your knees. They were hot against your skin, burning even, and they remained unmoving for a time. When you shivered again, Taehyung let out a deep chuckle that had you seeing stars. He knew what he was doing to you, and he was enjoying it. Far too much for your own good.
His hands started sliding up, ever so slowly, right as his gaze returned to the dark dangerous look. It was even darker now, and he almost looked like a demon sitting between your legs. Like a starved demon that’d finally get a taste of a virgin soul. And though you were a virgin, you were not innocent. You didn’t have to look between his legs to see his erection pressing against his pants. You knew Taehyung wanted you, from the harsh set of his jaw to the slight tilt of his head to the side.
His fingers tickled your skin as they moved up, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. You didn’t dare move lest he’d stop, so you froze. Stopped breathing altogether as you waited for his touch on the place you wanted him the most.
Yet it never came. Taehyung stopped before he reached your core. You could feel the ghost of his touch between your legs, maybe because his thumbs were almost reaching up to your folds. But not quite, stopping just an inch from your pussy.
And then his hands left you entirely, and you shot a glare at him.
His face had turned serious, and he looked so different from how he usually looked you found your boldness fleeing from you.
“On your stomach”, he ordered. As you hesitated for a time, Taehyung cocked an eyebrow. “I want to see that perfect ass of yours.”
You flushed red, and if you hadn’t been as aroused as you were, you probably would have told him your ass was far from perfect. But you had no words left in you, only obedience. So you moved, awkwardly turning until your legs had switched places on each side of him.
Taehyung’s hands moved back on you then, grabbing your waist carefully as you looked at him over your shoulder.
“So fucking pretty”, he praised you, and the slap he landed on your ass had your body moving forward.
It stung, but Taehyung quickly massaged the hurt away. And then he kept massaging you, his big hands moving up until they found all the knots in your back, easing the tension out of you better than anything else could have.
Everywhere he touched you he left a burning trail behind, until you were pretty sure you were going to combust if he didn’t touch between your legs soon. It was like he had sensed it, because Taehyung moved back down your back, and one of his hands cupped an ass cheek while the other moved between your legs, skilled fingers immediately going to your clit.
You moaned, surprising even yourself, and you hid your face in the couch.
“Don’t muffle your sounds”, Taehyung reprimanded you, and he landed another slap to your ass. “I want to hear every little sound you make while I’m pleasuring you.”
Right on cue, his fingers moved on your clit again, and another moan found its way up your throat. You almost choked on it, yet the sound fell from your parted lips, and Taehyung slapped your ass again for good measure.
“Good girl.”
One of his long fingers moved up, between your legs. Touching your center, pressing on the wetness pooling there. Just enough for you to whine, hips moving instinctively again.
“Be patient”, he said, tutting. “I’ll give you everything you want.”
Your arousal was rising, inside of you. Reaching heights you had never seen before, and the sight of the world from up there was scary. You could only hope the fall wouldn’t be too harsh.
Taehyung kept pressing circles on your clit, playing with the sensitive organ. His touch wasn’t too hard, yet with your panties it felt uncomfortable. A little too much, and the friction of the wet fabric against you made you tighten your legs.
“Tae?” you breathed out. He stopped moving, expectantly silent waiting for you to continue. “Can you take off my panties?”
“You’re getting sensitive, mmh?”
You wanted to punch the male cockiness out of him but all you could do was nod your head as you glanced at him over your shoulder.
He was looking down at you with that half smile of his, and he wet his lips as one of his fingers hooked on the side of your panties, the pad of his digit resting on one of your folds. You gulped, trying to hold his gaze, but as he started slowly sliding a finger in, your eyelids fluttered shut, sealing together.
Suddenly, you couldn’t remember what you had just asked. You couldn’t remember anything, as your mind went blank. All that was left was the slow inching of his finger inside of you.
“You play with yourself like this?”
His question had you furrowing your brows. “Tae…”
“You’re so wet I could probably fuck you like that”, he said, sounding as if he was pondering. As if he was debating doing it and you almost wanted to beg him. To beg him to do it, and fuck you into oblivion. “But we can always do that later.”
As he talked his finger started pulling out, and he quickly pushed it back in before it had fully exited your pussy. You let out another breathy sound, though this time it took the shape of his name. He started pumping, slowly, and the squelching sound between your legs would have embarrassed you if you hadn’t already been too far gone to even acknowledge it.
Right when you thought you were going to be able to open your eyes and look at him, Taehyung pushed another one of his long digits inside of you. It stretched you, just a little, but it didn’t hurt. It just felt even better, all sensations doubling up inside of you until stars danced on the blackness of your tightly shut eyelids. He added scissoring motions to the whole ordeal, stretching you wide open as his hungry eyes looked at you. The way he moved made your panties rub on your clit again, and you let out a small whine.
Taehyung stopped moving, fingers knuckle deep inside of you, as he massaged your ass with his other hand. “Everything okay?”
“My panties”, you let out, unable to form a full sentence.
Yet it was enough for Taehyung to get the clue and his fingers pulled out of you as he grabbed the hem of your panties to take them off of you. You waited patiently for him to touch you again, eyes fluttering open as he struggled to pull your panties down your legs.
“Kinda hard in this position”, he muttered, and you blushed a little as you met his gaze.
He looked ethereal. Hair a little out of place with a dark strand falling in front of his eyes. His skin was glowing in a honey shade that gave him a warm vibe, that same warm vibe he had always been filled with back when you had been too young to know about sex and the likes.
And though you now knew, everything felt the same. Taehyung was always going to be his same self. Or so you hoped.
You moved, sitting up a little to help him take off your panties. It had your eyes slide to his lap, and to the prominent bulge that was pushing against his pants. He looked big, even hidden from your eyes, and you could feel your mouth salivating.
You wanted to get a taste of him. But you had no idea how to do it, no idea how to vocalize your want, so you only turned until you were lying on your back, half-lidded eyes searching Taehyung’s face for his own gaze.
But his gaze was elsewhere. His gaze was on the spot between your parted legs, where juice was slowly dripping. Your brain started forming a thought about your couch getting ruined, but before it could fully take shape Taehyung’s eyes snapped to yours.
“I think you’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.”
The compliment made you blush, and your thighs instinctively moved to close together. He tutted, stopping them with his large hands.
“None of that, I want to see all of you.”
“You already have”, you muttered, cheeks turning a dark shade of red.
He let out a small laugh as he massaged your thighs up and down a couple of times again. “Doesn’t mean that I got enough.”
A smile pulled at the corners of your lips, but before you could say something one of his hands had found its way to your core again, and he slid two fingers in. Your mouth fell open as your eyes locked with his. He pumped his fingers in a couple of times before arching them, finding a spot inside of you that had the corners of your vision turning blurry.
“I think I could make you cum like this”, he said.
All you could do was nod because, sure enough, an orgasm was on the horizon, and you could feel the wave crashing towards you. But Taehyung slowed, almost coming to a full stop, before sitting a little farther away. You watched him curiously, until he bent down, his face coming dangerously close to your heat.
He blew a hot breath on your sensitive clit, and a hot shiver shot up your spine. “Can I eat you out?”
You nodded, quickly. “Please…” you breathed out.
Taehyung didn’t need any more to dive in. And dive in he did, lips closing around your clit as he sucked it, tongue flicking at it. You moaned, loudly, and one of your hands got lost in his hair. His fingers resumed their ministrations against that sweet spot inside of you, right as he rested his tongue flatly against your clit, rubbing it until the wave rushed closer to you. You could feel the orgasm taking shape in your lower stomach, a burning sensation that promised to wash away what was left of your sanity. And you didn’t even know if anything was left: all you knew was that your walls were clenching against his fingers, and the grunt he let out pushed you over the edge.
You came in a blinding flash of white light, your lips parting open on a silent moan as you pushed your hips up, pressing yourself harder against his tongue. Your pussy pulsated against his fingers and yet he didn’t slow down. Just kept on pleasuring you, milking every last drop of your orgasm out of you until you were pretty sure you’d die from the oversensitivity. But you didn’t want him to stop, only wanted to feel his fingers inside of you and his tongue against your clit.
Taehyung had other things in mind though, because he pulled away, pressing a kiss on the inside of your thigh as he moved up to a kneeling position. You could barely focus on him. No, you were blinded by the aura surrounding him. An aura of ecstasy that made you want to wrap your legs around him, until you’d feel the bulge in his pants pressing against you.
He bit his lip, though he let you pull him closer. Even pushed forward, and your eyes shut as his erection pressed against your sensitive clit.
“Way to ruin my Prada pants”, he stated and that most of all brought you back down to reality.
You released him from the prison of your legs, slowly pushing yourself up so you could sit. But your arms gave out under you, the remnants of your orgasm making you feel far too weak for you to sit yet.
“Sorry”, you mumbled sheepishly.
He bent down, pressing a kiss on your lips that had your eyes shutting instinctively as you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close to you. You wondered if your hearts were beating in synch as the warm skin of his chest pressed against your breasts, and before you could tell Taehyung pulled away.
“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Where’s the bathroom?”
It took you a long time to understand why he was asking. And you only did when you realized he was holding his hand away from the fabric of your couch, not wanting to stain it.
“Oh”, you let out. You glanced to the side, until your eyes fell on a closed door. “Over there.”
Taehyung followed your line of gaze, nodding his head before getting up. “I’ll be right back.”
“I should probably get cleaned up too”, you said, and he offered you a warm smile.
“I’ll bring you back a towel.” It was said sweetly, and you couldn’t help the flutter that took over your heart as he turned around, exposing the skin of his back to your eyes.
You watched him go, and watched him wash his hands from the open door of the bathroom as he hadn’t shut it behind him. He threw you a glance, probably because he could feel your heavy gaze on the side of his face. He turned off the tap, cocking an eyebrow as he grabbed the towel you usually used to dry your hands. He walked back towards you, and his gait was predatory. Maybe because it was slow and he was goddamn Kim Taehyung, but mostly because his eyes still were set in that dark look.
You didn’t think you’d survive that look.
“Let me clean you up”, he said with that low voice of his as he stopped next to you, before sitting in the spot where he had been a moment ago.
As with everything that came with Taehyung, you didn’t find it in you to say no. You only winced when he pressed the towel between your legs, your overstimulated pussy feeling every tiny fiber of the cloth as he cleaned you up.
When he was done, he put the towel on the floor beside the couch. Your eyes followed his every move, and before you could realize it, you said, “I want to suck your dick”.
He paused as he was almost sitting back in his spot, and his head turned towards you.
“Do you?” he asked, as his two eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.
You had taken Kim Taehyung by surprise, hadn’t you?
“I want to make you feel good”, you said, and you had the decency to blush as you realized just how crude you were being.
He wet his lips, and one of his large hands palmed himself through his pants. “Do you think you could take it all?”
You looked down at his lap, eyes following the shape of his dick underneath the fabric. You actually didn’t know. He looked big, far bigger than what you thought was possible. Maybe because you had never really seen a dick before, not feeling like going to the trouble of downloading porn just so you could get off to it.
It wasn’t like you had really needed it to get off anyway. And with what had just happened, you didn’t think you’d ever need it.
“You can teach me how.” You said it innocently, teeth sinking into your lower lip.
Taehyung didn’t reply. He just stared at you until your eyes met his again. From the periphery of your vision, you saw him unbutton and unzip his pants. His hand slid in, probably wrapping against his dick. Most definitely jerking himself off, in all truth. It made your breath catch in your throat as you kept holding the intensity of his gaze.
He was going to make you catch fire soon.
“Had I known you’d be so greedy I’d have talked to you sooner”, he murmured, adding your name at the end in that low dangerous baritone of his voice.
You couldn’t resist. You closed the space between you, lips meeting his. You wondered if the salty taste that had overcome his mouth was from eating you out, and it just turned you on further. As if you weren’t already a wildfire.
You let one of your hands move until it was touching him. His dick was moving under the fabric as he jerked himself and you let out a moan as his tongue slipped in your mouth. He answered it by grunting, a guttural sound that had you see stars.
His hand moved out of his pants, moving up until he was cupping your cheek. You kept on palming him, and his dick twitched under your fingers.
“You’re so big”, you murmured against his lips.
He inhaled sharply, before pulling away from the kiss. “I want to see your pretty lips wrapped around me.”
He moved your hand so he could take off his pants. You couldn’t help looking down until your eyes caught sight of his dick. You were right: he was big. Big and angry red and leaking precum all over the head as his dick rested against his abdomen. A thick vein ran up and down his cock, and part of you thought you could see his pulse in it. You reached forward, fingers grazing the vein, following it until you moved to the head. You collected the precum on your forefinger, before looking Taehyung in the eyes as you sucked your finger clean.
Kim Taehyung tasted heavenly. Or maybe you were just drunk with lust.
Your little act had him rest his head against the couch, letting out a low curse that had you smirk.
“You’re so attractive”, he muttered as he looked at you through half-lidded eyes. You let your finger go as your lips spread in a smirk, before you moved off from the couch. Taehyung watched you as you kneeled in front of him. He spread his legs just a little to allow you easy access, and you caught sight of his balls. You wondered what it would feel like to suck on them and you instinctively leaned forward, licking between the two of them.
“Fuck.”
His small word had you let out a small chuckle. It made you feel sexy, powerful, and you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock.
“You’ll have to guide me”, you said.
He looked down, meeting your gaze as you pumped his dick slowly.
“First, you can grab it harder”, he told you. “I like when it’s tight.”
You shivered, obeying as your grip on his dick tightened. You licked your lips, waiting expectantly.
“You might want to suck on the head first. I don’t think I could stop myself from fucking your pretty mouth.”
“Then do it.”
It was too bold. You were too bold, a stranger to yourself. Maybe the demon inhabiting Taehyung’s eyes had inhabited you too, and it had made you go insane.
Taehyung hissed. “Let’s keep some stuff for another time, shall we?” He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering against your cheek. “I just want to feel your lips and tongue on me.”
You wondered if he could feel the heat of your cheeks as you flushed red. You doubted so, as you had been flushed red with ecstasy all night.
“I don’t know how to do it”, you breathed, sounding a little more like yourself for once.
He smiled. “Just lick at the head. Taste me.”
You held his gaze as you moved forward, tongue darting out to touch the head. You didn’t blink once as you swirled your tongue around him, collecting all the precum until the salty taste had coated all of your tongue. “Like that?” you said, a little innocently.
His shallow breathing was enough of an answer. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you did it again, this time following the base of the head. You found a spot at the back that felt a little different, and you pushed on it.
Taehyung grabbed the side of your head, before closing his hand on some of your hair. It pulled at your scalp, but not enough to hurt. It only made your eyes open.
“Do that again”, he instructed.
You obeyed and he threw his head back. You made a mental note that that seemed to work, before moving a little closer to him, until your mouth was hovering over his dick.
“Suck me”, he breathed, right as you wrapped your lips around his dick.
You licked at the slit of his dick, cleaning it from the new precum that had accumulated there. Taehyung grunted, and a second later you were moving down his dick.
He hissed. “Careful with your teeth.”
You hadn’t realized you had grazed him with your teeth, but you assumed he was in a better position to tell. You loosened your jaw, before pulling away. Taehyung let you do it, but as you were about to entirely let go of his dick, he thrusted up.
You gagged and he let go of your hair as you sat back on your heels.
“I am so sorry”, he apologized, eyes round as you met his gaze. “I didn’t mean…”
You chuckled, blinking away the tears that had formed because of the gag reflex. “It’s okay.”
He wet his lips, nodding his head. “You don’t have to suck my dick.”
You rolled your eyes, before jerking him up and down a few times. It shut him up, and he rested his head against the couch again, eyes fluttering shut.
Taehyung was attractive, from this angle. Sharp jaw that could cut through steel, dark locks falling all around his face. His chest had taken on a red flush, and it moved up and down quickly with his quick breathing.
You licked the head of his dick again, focusing on the spot you had found earlier. You sucked on it, using your tongue to play with it a little more, before you took him in again. This time, you didn’t try moving down his dick again. You focused on sucking on the head, hollowing your cheeks as you pumped his cock, keeping the tight grip he seemed to like.
He grunted as your tongue circled his head. “If you want”, he said after a time, “you can play with my balls at the same time.”
You immediately reached up with your free hand, grabbing his balls in your palm. You tightened your grip around them, and Taehyung shuddered under your touch.
“A little gentler with the balls, baby”, he said, chuckling.
You pulled away. “Sorry.”
“No”, he breathed, shaking his head. “You’re doing great.”
You had no idea if that was true, but it made your mouth salivate for more of his taste. So you guided him in your mouth again, this time taking him as far deep as you could. He moaned, even while half of his cock didn’t even fit in. You jerked him off, resting your tongue flat against him until you found the thick vein you had seen earlier.
You hollowed your cheeks, and your gaze locked with Taehyung as he finally opened his eyes. The dark look in his gaze was different now, as if he was about to break. And maybe he was going to break, his cock getting harder in your mouth as you bobbed your head up and down. Once in a while, you choked on him, and he let out a deep grunt that only made you want to go faster, to take more of him in. It was hard in the position, so you kept using your hands.
Your jaw ached, from how large he was. From having to keep your mouth open so wide to be able to take him in. It was a dull ache, and you ignored it, focusing on him. Focusing on making him feel good as you moved to a quick rhythm he established by pushing your head up and down on him.
You didn’t mind. You liked that he took control. It made a new heat pool between your legs, and you moaned against his cock.
“I’m going to cum soon”, Taehyung told you, before letting out a broken moan that sounded like your name. “Are you going to be a good girl and swallow everything?”
You would have said yes had you been in a position where you could talk. Instead, you moaned again, sucking on him harder. Taehyung moaned too, in a deep sound that made you shiver with lust for him, and a second later hot spurts of his cum hit the back of your throat. Your eyes shut, and you kept on sucking him, swallowing everything he threw at you. And he came a lot, the bitter taste making it very hard not to gag. As he came, Taehyung’s second hand grabbed your head, and his hips thrusted forward again. Not enough to make you choke around him, luckily enough.
When you were sure you had milked the last of his cum from his cock, you pulled away, licking your lips clean once you were sitting back on your heels. Taehyung looked spent on the couch, yet he pushed himself up a little, until he was leaning towards you.
“Open your mouth”, he said, holding onto your jaw with a firm grip. You obeyed, showing him that you had swallowed everything. He smirked, patting your cheek. “The best girl.”
You nodded, blushing a little as your mouth fell shut. He held your gaze for a time, before glancing around your apartment. His eyes eventually fell to your banana milk next to the couch, the drink long forgotten in the heat and passion you had shared.
“You might want to drink that to change the taste”, he said, letting out a soft laugh.
Your eyes dipped to his softening cock, and you nodded your head as you got up. “Let me just grab a shirt to put on.”
He tilted his head to the side. “Put my shirt on.”
Still that commanding tone of his… it was going to make you go crazy.
Scratch that, you were already crazy. Far more than you had ever thought you’d be. Hell, you had just given a blowjob to your best friend’s older brother. To Kim Taehyung, a member of the biggest boyband in the world.
You grabbed his dress shirt. It was a soft pink colour. For a moment you thought you had seen it somewhere, but the ecstasy that still clung to you made it hard to think. You put it on, buttoning up until your body was finally hidden from his hungry eyes. Yet they didn’t look all that hungry anymore. They just looked tired, positively so.
“I can’t believe we did this”, he said, a little breathlessly, as you finally sat next to him again, banana milk in hand. While you had been putting his shirt on, he had put his pants back on, hiding his soft dick from view. Yet you still could admire the warm skin of his chest, and the red flush that adorned the top part of it.
“Eunjin is never going to believe this”, you muttered.
Taehyung met your gaze, eyes widening a little. “She cannot know.” You paused, banana milk halfway to your mouth. Taehyung must have read something in your eyes, because he continued, “She’ll kill me if she knows. She already was pissed that I let you sleep in my bed the night of her party.”
You were surprised at the disappointment that rose inside of you. It tasted bitter, but not the kind of bitter Taehyung’s cum had tasted like. No, it tasted of regret.
“Oh”, you let out. You busied yourself with drinking the milk to hide the disappointment. Taehyung noticed it, though. You were pretty sure he did, so you quickly said, “It’s okay. Just weird, because we tell each other everything.”
Taehyung slowly nodded, wetting his lips. “I know.” He once again reached up, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I just don’t want the drama that would come with it.”
You didn’t really want it either. And he was right, Eunjin could cause a lot of drama if she wanted. You loved her endlessly, but you didn’t want her to scold you for achieving one of your teenage fantasies.
“Besides, I’d like to see you again”, Taehyung added. “I need to be alive for that, and we both know Jinnie will murder me if she knows.”
You laughed. Taehyung wanted to see you again?
“I’d rather you not die”, you said.
Taehyung offered you a secretive smile accompanied by a tilt of his head to the side. You held his dark gaze. Somewhere in its depth you could feel the demon watching you. And even though you were happy Taehyung wanted to see you again, the demon lurking in the shadows had your heart squeezing in your chest.
You were pretty sure it was just a matter of time before it ripped it from your ribcage.
***
Kim Taehyung was a kind human being. Sweet as honey, with a smile that spread warmth wherever he went. You had seen him again three times, after that very first time, and he still swept you off your feet. He took to caring for you – offering you food and letting you wear his clothes whenever you felt like it. But Kim Taehyung was a busy man, and weeks passed without you hanging out.
You never had sex. The three times you had hung out had just been filled with cuddling, holding hands and make-out sessions that left you breathless. The orgasms he pulled out of you contributed to it too, you were pretty sure. Never going further than preliminaries, Taehyung still managed to make you come undone under his skilled fingers. But he never gave in to more. Whenever you asked, he said that you weren’t ready, and that you had to be patient.
You were tired of being patient. But then he kissed your forehead, smiled that sweet smile of his, and your annoyance dwindled away.
You hadn’t seen the demon in his eyes again, after that first time. Or you had just become blind to it. Sometimes you thought it didn’t really show up because Taehyung appreciated spending time with you. And he did say so. He only looked slightly uncomfortable when you suggested having sex for real, so you had decided to stop asking.
He’d give it to you whenever the time was right.
The Holidays rushed in, a little under two months after that first time you had seen him, and as they did family traditions settled in. You moved back to Daegu for the week off you had – first time you had it off since you had started working for Samsung. You were excited for it, mostly because you’d get to spend it with Eunjin’s family and yours. Even your brother was coming, along with his fiancée.
It promised to be an exciting time indeed.
“Do you think I should wear this?” Eunjin asked.
You were currently sprawled on her bed, scrolling through Instagram as she unpacked her suitcase. Sung-tan-jul was on the morrow, and it seemed Eunjin wanted to dress up for it. Which was useless, because it was just going to be your family and hers, and none of you had ever really been traditional.
“Uh?” you let out, scrolling to the next picture on your feed. It was a BTS edit, and your cheeks flushed red as Taehyung appeared on the screen.
To think Kim Taehyung had been between your legs more than once was the strangest thought. It felt surreal, yet it was the truth. A truth set in stone, one he reminded you of as he texted you. Your phone dinged, and Eunjin threw herself on the bed next to you.
“You’re not even listening.”
You blushed, hiding the notification from her. “Just wear whatever, it’s not like it really matters.”
It was a lie, sort of. Because you had prepared your prettiest outfits for the week, knowing that Taehyung would be here. You wanted to look good for him, because God knew Kim Taehyung never looked bad.
“I’ve looked through your clothes and you just brought designer stuff.” She rolled her eyes as you glanced at her. “It’s like you’re trying to impress someone.”
You hoped she didn’t see you blanch because you sure had.
“You know I like fashion”, you said.
That wasn’t a lie. You had always liked fashion, and you had gotten a raise earlier this year at work that had allowed you to start indulging in your passion, buying clothes you had never thought you would be able to afford.
“You do, and it’s annoying because you have a better sense of style than I do and I always look bad next to you.”
You sent her a pointed glance. “Bitch, you are the prettiest. I don’t have the choice but to dress well if I want to compare.”
Eunjin tsked, yet she remained silent as a smile stretched on her lips at the compliment.
You fell into a comfortable silence, and you continued scrolling through your phone. Eunjin did the same next to you, and she eventually started filling the silence with talks of her new work crush.
Scratch that, she was complaining about the guy. But you knew by the way she was getting worked up that there was more to it. She was your best friend after all.
You were surprised that she hadn’t realized the change in you. The change Taehyung had brought to you. Maybe because it was hidden, that change. Just for you and him to know. It felt exciting, to have a secret to hide. Like you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing, and the thrill of it had you craving for Taehyung’s touch a little more every day.
“Does she always complain like that?” the man’s deep baritone voice said from the door.
It was like thinking of him had summoned him out of thin air. Eunjin yelped, jumping out of bed to embrace Taehyung.
“Oppa, you idiot!” she said. “I thought you were only coming tomorrow.”
He smiled at you over her shoulder. A secretive smile, one that had butterflies forming in your stomach and warmth blossoming between your legs.
The effect he had on you… it was dangerous, considering you were going to spend a week under the same roof as him without having the opportunity to really spend time alone together.
“I was able to come earlier”, he said as they pulled away from their embrace. “Hi, Y/n.”
You shut your phone, sitting up in the bed. “Hey, Tae.”
Eunjin had her brows knit together when she turned to look at you. You had messed up, hadn’t you?
“Since when are you so casual with him?” she threw at you, tone accusative.
You shrugged your shoulders, hoping she couldn’t see your heart beating out of your chest. “Maybe since the party you threw during which he had to take care of me because you got me too drunk?”
Taehyung stifled a laugh as Eunjin’s gaze widened. “I got you drunk? Girl, you did that all by yourself.”
Maybe you had. You just offered her a crooked grin, before meeting Taehyung’s gaze. The world seemed to slow around you, and for a moment there was just you and him. You wished you could close the space between you, press your lips to taste the honey sweetness of his, but you resisted, your grin melting into a tight-lipped smile instead. He replied with a wink that went unnoticed to Eunjin before saying that dinner was soon going to be ready. Eunjin pushed him out of the room, before shutting the door behind her.
“Let me get changed before we go down.”
And that was how the Holidays began for you. It was warm, fun and nostalgic, reminding you of younger days. As everything did, when it came to the Kims and their childhood house. Your childhood house too, as you had spent most of your time here. It was also the first time your brother’s fiancée, Choi Ryunjin, spent time like that with your family. She had been very shy around Taehyung at first, but she had soon melted under the warmth of his smile, and the group that had once been five was six.
It was perfect. Sung-tan-jul, that is. With laughter and whiskey, and gifts exchanged next to a plastic Christmas tree, as snow fell lazily outside. There wasn’t a lot of it, but still the world outside was soon covered by a white blanket that made for a perfect Christmas.
It was an idyllic picture, just as much as the new memories you were making.
Taehyung was warm. Warmth incarnate, even. You shared longing looks and quick touches, when nobody was looking. It made your heart race, but you knew better than to go to him in the middle of the night. Even though your body was aching for it, you just wanted to spend time with him as a friend.
A little foolish part of you hoped it would help with the relationship you shared. Though situationship was probably a more accurate word.
Eunjin didn’t seem to suspect a thing in the days that followed. Didn’t notice that Taehyung always managed to sit next to you, only so he could press his thigh against yours. Taehyung was a touchy man and you loved it to no end. It made you feel important, even if all you were was some sort of friends with benefits.
On the day before New Year’s Eve, the house fell silent for the first time in almost a week, most of everyone deciding to go enjoy the nice weather outside with a stroll through the fields, while the mothers made a trip to the market to gather whatever was needed for the celebrations the next day. You had stayed behind because you wanted to get some work done, and you were sitting in Eunjin’s dad’s office when Taehyung appeared at the door, cheeks pink from the cold outside.
“You should come with us”, he said, hands hidden behind his back.
Even dressed casually Taehyung looked good. Black jeans paired with a black t-shirt that he had tucked in his pants, and he had completed the look with a black belt made of real leather. His hair was ruffled by the wind outside, and the dust of pink on his features made him look so real.
Real and human in the most beautiful way, for a man that had been stealing your breath away for so long now.
“I’m almost done with work”, you said, stretching as you held in a yawn.
Taehyung leaned against the doorframe, his hands still hidden behind his back. “You shouldn’t be working during the holidays.”
“I’m pretty sure you are used to working during the holidays.”
He grinned sheepishly. “Not this year though. And I’d like to spend some time with you.”
It hit you then, that you hadn’t even had a second to yourselves since coming here. Just stolen touches and glances whenever you could, but nothing that you could add to the memories you had been making with Taehyung ever since November. Memories that were just yours to know, your little secret that made for the most beautiful garden in your heart.
“Do you?” you said as blood rushed to your cheeks.
He nodded, before pushing up from the door frame and walking towards you. “I haven’t even had the chance to give you your Sung-tan-jul gift.”
Your eyes widened as he revealed what he had been hiding behind his back: a red velvet box, with an elegant bow holding it close. It looked expensive, and you quickly shook your head.
“Oh no, Tae, you shouldn’t have gotten...”
The smile on his lips turned into a dangerous smirk that had your words die in your throat. He held out the box, and you knew you had turned a shade darker as you grabbed it.
“What is it?” you asked as you ran fingers on the soft velvet.
“Open it.”
You threw him a cautious glance, before gently pulling on the bow until it came undone. You hesitated for half a second before lifting the lid of the box and you were left dumbfounded for a time. Staring at the contents of the box without realizing what they were.
And then realization fell upon you, and you quickly put the lid back on the box.
“Oh my God, Taehyung, why did you give me this here?” you said, as your heart beat frantically in your chest. “What if someone sees it?”
He shrugged, a boyish smile gracing his pretty features. “Nobody is inside.”
“But someone could…”
“It’s just for you to know, sweetheart”, Taehyung interjected, and once again your words died on your lips. “I just thought we could take the next step in all of this.” His last words were punctuated by a motion of his to the air surrounding you.
All of this… Did he really think you would be willing to get tied up and blindfolded here? And you were pretty sure the leathery thing in the middle of the box was a whip of some sort…
Kim Taehyung was out of his mind, and you couldn’t even bring it in you to be mad at you. No, the blood that had raced to your cheeks had trickled down to your core, and warmth lit up your soul.
“But here?”
Your question lingered in the air, as you met his heavy gaze and tried to hold it. You were too much of a coward, and your eyes fell to the floor.
“Well, it’s my birthday”, he pointed out.
It was. You had wished him a happy birthday first thing in the morning, and had hugged him for a moment. A friendly hug, though he had held on to you for a little longer than necessary. No one had paid any mind to it, but the moment had been replaying in your thoughts on a loop ever since this morning.
“Someone could hear us”, you breathed, right as his hand reached for your chin.
He tilted your head backwards, until your eyes had met his again. “You’d just have to be quiet.”
“Eunjin will realize if I’m not in bed with her.” You were defiant, just a little. Something you had realized worked well when Taehyung desired you.
He wet his lips, before leaning down. To your surprise, the kiss landed on your forehead, and your eyelids fluttered shut instinctively.
“You know there could be a typhoon outside and she’d sleep through it.” He straightened, and your eyes fluttered open.
He wasn’t wrong, but he was still crazy if he thought you’d do anything with him when both of your families were under the same roof.
“You’re out of your mind”, you mumbled, and his thumb pulled on your bottom lip. Your mouth fell open, and he leaned down once again, this time kissing you softly before pulling away.
“For you?” He paused, as if to give emphasis to his words. “Always.”
Your hand reached out in the space between you, fingers hooking with the loop of his pants to make sure he wouldn’t pull away. Because you didn’t want him to pull away just yet. Not when your heart filled with warmth and butterflies rose in your stomach.
“You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.
It wasn’t your first time telling him that. Whenever Taehyung said some stuff that made your heart race, you tended to remind him that whatever you shared was just physical. He was merely teaching you about sex, and you couldn’t let feelings intervene.
You knew situations like the one you shared never ended well when feelings were implied.
“Sorry”, he apologized, though he looked the least bit apologetic. “I’ve just missed being with you.”
He was letting you interpret his words however you wanted. You could tell from the way he was looking down at you. So you interpreted them as a craving of his body, and not something his heart might want. Because you weren’t stupid: there wasn’t a universe out there where Kim Taehyung might want you for more than that. You were both driven by lust, and by a teenage crush that had just held stronger than you had first believed. There was no affection between the two of you, other than that of the affection one holds for a childhood friend.
“So have I”, you breathed, pulling him a little closer.
His crotch was at eye-level with your gaze, yet you refused to look down. You knew the position was most definitely driving him insane though, and it made you feel powerful.
He often did that. Make you feel powerful, that is. It was addicting, like everything that came with him. Taehyung was like a cigarette, and the nicotine addiction was burning you from the inside out.
He grabbed your hand, pulling you up to your feet. You didn’t resist, following his lead until he had wrapped your arms around his neck and had put his large hands on your waist. There seemed to be a moment of the world holding its breath, and then Taehyung leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.
You melted into his touch, kissing him back with all the want in you. All the passion and the burning and the intoxicating feelings he brought up in you. He met your fire with a swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, and you parted your mouth open for him.
“Oppa, do you know where eoma keeps the gloves?” Eunjin yelled, probably from downstairs.
You jumped out of Taehyung’s arms, face burning red, insides the temperature of molten metal. He had a startled expression on his face, but his voice didn’t waver as he replied to his sister, before adding, “I’ll be out in a second”.
You listened to Eunjin move downstairs, heart beating wildly in your chest. It didn’t calm down until you heard the door open and close downstairs, and the house fell silent again.
“That was close”, Taehyung said, boxy grin on his lips.
He took a step towards you, and you stepped back. “Nu-uh, no more of this until tonight”, you warned him.
His grin turned into a smirk, and he looked at you with his smoldering gaze for a time. “I’ll be waiting for you then.”
You nodded, slowly, taking a deep breath to calm the wild beats of your heart. Your gaze moved to the box you had left discarded on the desk next to your laptop. “And also hide that somewhere. Eunjin will see it if I put it in her room.”
“Yes, ma’am”, Taehyung agreed. There was a teasing undertone to his voice, and you folded your arms on your chest, getting ready to scold him when he stepped closer so quickly you didn’t have time to move back. He pressed a kiss on the tip of your nose, before smiling at you with that blinding smile of his.
You stood, stunned, as he grabbed the box before walking out of the room, throwing a wink at you over his shoulder. And then he was gone, and you were left fighting your treacherous heart.
You reminded yourself that you couldn’t fall in love. You’d never be delusional enough to fall in love with him. But when he acted like that, it made it far too easy for your heart to fill with endearment. It was dangerous ground to tread.
You didn’t want to set yourself up for a broken heart.
*****
The house was dark when you stepped outside Eunjin’s room, somewhere between midnight and one in the morning. Her snores had been keeping you awake, that was true, but it mostly was the perspective of meeting with Taehyung that had kept your eyes wide open, waiting until you were convinced Eunjin wouldn’t realize you were gone.
Taehyung had been teasing, all night. All smirks and winks when nobody was watching. He had caressed your thigh under the table during the meal, unbeknownst to everyone. Everyone but you, who had been forced to clench your teeth as you had tried to ignore the effect he had on you.
As if that was likely to ever happen. He was Kim Taehyung. You didn’t think there was a world out there where Kim Taehyung didn’t have an effect on the women surrounding him. Especially when he had been your childhood crush.
His room was down the hallway, and you had to pass in front of Jeongyu’s room to get there. Luckily enough, Jeongyu had lent his room to your parents for the weekend, and you knew your father’s loud breathing was going to cover the creaking of the hallway as you tiptoed towards Taehyung’s room. You could only hope your mother wouldn’t need to go to the bathroom while you were with Taehyung.
Yet… the possibility of getting caught… it made you feel hot, in some way. Because you were breaking rules. You, the perfect daughter that had never done anything she shouldn’t…
It was way past time to be imperfect.
You reached Taehyung’s room, heart beating wildly against your ribcage. You knocked, a gentle knock that probably hadn’t even sounded on his side of the door. Yet the door slowly opened, and Taehyung’s face appeared in the crack between the door and the wall. His eyes shone brightly, expectantly, and as soon as he focused on you, he opened the door for you to walk in.
Needless to say, he very carefully shut it behind you, as you took a few tentative steps in his room.
“You…” you breathed, a little louder than you had first intended.
“Shh”, he shushed you. He walked to you, gently grabbing your arm to make you turn towards him.
You obeyed, because you always obeyed whatever Taehyung told you to do, and you found yourself facing him. Well, tilting your head back to look up at him, as he stood closer to you than you had expected him to be.
Taehyung wasn’t a particularly tall man, but when he was next to you it felt as if he towered over you, with a dangerous look in his eyes that made you gulp.
“We don’t want someone to hear us”, he pointed out, before bending down to press a chaste kiss on your lips. When he straightened, his eyes had recovered their mischievous shine. “Do you know how pretty you were tonight?”
You blushed, wetting your lips. “I wanted to look good for you.”
“I figured.” He smirked, slowly nodding his head. He then grabbed your hand, looking around his room. “How do you like it?”
You liked it very much. Indeed, Taehyung had lit up candles all around his room, creating a romantic ambiance that made you want to be closer to him. To be entwined with him until you forgot where you ended and where he started. From the look on his face, you knew he wanted that too.
It was then that you realized he was highly likely to take your virginity tonight. Not that virginity was something that mattered, it really just was a social construct. But Taehyung was going to take it tonight, whatever it was, and heat immediately pooled at your core at the thought of it.
“It’s pretty”, you breathed, catching his gaze again.
The candles casted flickering lights on the side of his face, making his honey skin glow with warmth. You reached between you, brushing a stand of hair behind his ear. He carefully observed you as you did so, and you wondered if he could see your heart beating in your chest.
It really did feel like it was about to break free of your ribcage.
“It’s going to be prettier when you’re tied up on my bed.”
Taehyung’s words entirely stopped your heart in your chest. They killed you right on the spot, and maybe that was the reason why you found yourself grabbing the collar of his shirt, pulling him into your embrace.
Taehyung’s lips crashed against yours, and your whole soul caught fire. You let out a breathy sound, and he swallowed it hungrily as he grabbed your waist, pulling you flush against him. His body was solid, beautiful, against you like that, and you let your hands fall from his collar to his shoulders, before moving them to his chest. His heart was beating wildly under your fingertips, and you breathed out a moan again as one of his hands cupped your ass.
“Happy birthday to me”, he said, barely even pulling away to speak the words. No, his lips moved against yours in the shape of his words, and it made you chuckle shyly.
“Happy birthday”, you echoed, and the kiss turned sweeter. Slow, steady, like he had been kissing you that first time at your place.
Taehyung tentatively swiped his tongue at your bottom lip, tasting you, and you parted your lips to suck on his tongue. You could tell he liked it, and the sweetness of the kiss almost immediately returned to its previous fire, with Taehyung pushing you back towards the bed.
You sat on it, mostly because the back of your knees had hit the side, and you looked up at Taehyung, eyes round and innocent as he towered over you.
You couldn’t believe this man would be the one to fuck you for the first time.
“I want to tie you up”, he breathed, and his eyes shot to the headboard of the bed.
You followed his line of gaze, only noticing that he had already tied the silk ropes to it. All that was left to complete his fantasy was you, lying in his bed.
“But I need to undress you first, mmh?”
You were pretty sure blood had rushed to your cheeks again, but you didn’t have time to contemplate on it before he pulled his shirt over his head, and your gaze fell to the strong planes of his body. In this lighting, he looked sharper, as if he was made of glass. You could only hope he wouldn’t break under your fingers.
But then again, you were pretty sure you were the one likely to break when Kim Taehyung was looking at you like that. With pupils blown wide in his dark eyes, making them look like black pits in the middle of his face. His familiar lips kept the sight from being terrifying, but a tiny part of you knew you ought to be afraid.
You ignored it with all the lust in your heart.
Once his shirt was off, Taehyung started working on his belt, undoing it with skilled fingers as his gaze never left yours. You found it hard not to look away, but you knew Taehyung loved his eye contact. So you focused on him, even as his belt came undone. He dropped it to the ground, and the loop hitting the ground made a thumping sound that took you by surprise.
It was loud, in the silence of the night, and you could only hope no one had heard.
His pants were soon to follow, pooling around his ankles, and you couldn’t keep from looking down as the distinct motion of him stroking his dick caught in your peripheral vision.
Your eyes dipped down and his dick was free, half soft, yet he was pumping it slowly. Heat pooled at your core, and you moved closer to the edge of the bed.
Taehyung took a step towards you, and you didn’t even hesitate before going right in, licking at his head.
His eyes were shut when you looked up, and you took that as a cue to start working on him, just how he had shown you to. You wrapped your lips around the head, using your tongue to play with the sensitive spot at the back of the head, and you replaced his hand at the base of his dick with one of yours. That hand immediately started stroking him, with the perfect pressure, and you sucked on the head before starting to bob back and forth to the same rhythm, eyes looking up until Taehyung’s eyelids finally fluttered open to reveal his lustful gaze.
“Fuck”, he whispered, in that low baritone voice of his that made you go crazy inside.
You shut your eyes as he bucked his hips, hitting the back of your throat with his cock. It had turned harder in your mouth, and you gagged around it. Taehyung gently caressed one of your cheeks, willing your eyes to open until you met his gaze.
His gaze looked different, now. Still dark, but shining from within. Perhaps because of the candles, and of their soft glow on his honey skin. Or maybe it was the emotions in their depths. Emotions you couldn’t interpret, didn’t understand, but that made you pull away.
Sucking his dick while he was looking at you like that felt too weird.
“I should be the one going down on you”, he murmured. “Especially with all I have planned for you tonight.”
No sweetness coated his words. Just pure filth, and really it contrasted deeply with his soft eyes. Yet it made you gulp, and you slowly nodded your head, before standing up. Your hands instinctively rested on his chest, and his large ones found your waist. He pulled you in, going for a kiss that landed at the corner of your mouth. You barely felt its warm caress, especially not as his hands found their way under your shirt. He started drawing circles on your skin, gently, and he kissed the other corner of your mouth.
You breathed out, and he swallowed it as he pressed his lips against yours, moving them slowly. It was a steady rhythm you knew too well, one that had started feeling like home after the first few times you had hung out with Taehyung in the secrecy of your relationship.
He pulled away, offering you a small smile as he pulled your shirt over your head. You shivered without the fabric on your skin, nipples perked up in the space between you two. Taehyung glanced down at them, and his smile turned appreciative as he cupped your breast with one of his big hands while the other one worked to get you out of your shorts. Once they pooled around your ankles, you stepped out and closer to him, pressing your chest against his until he let your breast go to hold you flush against him.
He kissed you again then, wilder, with all the fire he had kissed you with earlier. It was hot, and you wondered if you would melt under his skilled digits. So hot he seared a mark on your lips each time his mouth moved against yours. You met him with the same fire, offered him that same passion, as you focused on the space between you. On where his dick was trapped between your bodies, standing proud and tall.
And very hard.
You moaned in his mouth, and Taehyung cupped your ass, before slapping it once. Still he didn’t pull away, and the breath in your lungs became scarce, yet you didn’t care. You would die kissing him if you had to.
There was no better way to go than kissing Kim Taehyung.
Unfortunately, he probably thought otherwise, because Taehyung pulled away, sucking in a sharp breath as your eyes fluttered open.
“On the bed, princess”, he said, gesturing behind you.
So it was time. You gulped, nodding, before climbing on the bed, nestling yourself in the pillows at the headboard. Taehyung kneeled in front of you, large hands grabbing your ankles. He caressed his way up your legs, up to your knees, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind his touch, before going back down to your ankles. He only then pulled on you so you were in a lying position.
The male chuckle he let out told you he had caught sight of the pooling wetness that had already soaked through your panties.
“You’re already so wet, aren’t you?” he said, baritone voice carrying to your ears in the silence of the night.
He had whispered the words, just for you to hear, yet they had sounded so loud. Loud and clear, and you instinctively brought your thighs together, looking for some friction.
“Don’t”, he warned you, before spreading your legs wide open. “I want to taste my birthday gift before I fuck it into oblivion.”
A shiver of pleasure ran up your spine.
“Please do.”
He smirked, tilting his head to the side. A predator eyeing its prey.
“Oh, I will. Should I tie you up first?”
He didn’t let you answer the question. Instead, he dove in, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the place where your juice was already soaking your panties. You would have moaned out loud had you been alone and not in his family home. Instead, you let out a breathy sound, something that resembled more of a whine.
Before he continued, Taehyung pulled your panties down your legs, observing you through half-lidded eyes. You held his gaze, giving in to his fantasies, but once his mouth found your pussy again, tongue dipping between your lips, your eyelids fluttered shut.
You bit down on your lip, hard, trying to hold in your sounds, as your hand flew in the space between you, finding a handful of his hair to hold onto. He let you do it as he made out with your pussy, his deep chuckle making your nerve endings light up.
Once he got tired of his tongue inside of you, Taehyung focused on your clit, flicking at it unforgivably, establishing a harsh rhythm that he soon accompanied with a long finger curling inside of you. It stretched your walls, but just a little. Nothing like his dick would.
The thought was enough to make you clench against him, and Taehyung hissed.
“Relax, princess, I want to be able to fuck you”, he said, before going back to your clit. This time, he moved slower, and your walls released him, enough so that he added a second finger. The combination of the two fingers spreading you wide open and the slow steady flicking on your clit had the corners of your vision turning blurry, until all you could focus on was his face between your legs.
He looked devilishly good down there.
“Tae…” you breathed out.
He glanced up at you, his lustful gaze burning into yours, and you felt an orgasm forming on the horizon of your conscience. It hit you head on when he pushed a third finger inside of you as he sucked right on your clit, teasing the bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue.
Your eyes shut as you came, and your thighs tightened around his face. He worked you through your high, slow and steady, before pulling out of you once he was sure he had milked the last of the orgasm out of you.
It took a moment for your gaze to find his again, and you almost wished it hadn’t. Because Taehyung was holding the small leather whip now, and he ran it up your side.
“Can I use this on you?” he asked as he traced the shape of your breast, before caressing your nipple with it.
You held in the moan, or maybe the curse that had taken shape on your lips.
“Not to hurt you”, he said, almost like a promise.
“I don’t think I can stay silent if you use that on me”, you admitted, cheeks burning with the afterglow of your orgasm.
He pouted, looking at the whip, before slowly nodding his head. “We’ll have to save it for when we’re back in Seoul.”
You wet your lips, nodding before sitting up in his bed as he threw the whip to the side. He must have dried his hands of your juice at some point, because when Taehyung cupped your cheeks to kiss you slowly, his fingers were dry. Dry and gentle, yet he held you firmly, running his thumbs on your skin.
You reached between you, aiming blindly for his dick, and Taehyung jumped as you found its velvety softness, wrapping your hand around the base before pumping him a couple of times. He pulled away then, chuckling.
“You’re such a good girl”, he praised.
You melted under the praise, gripping him tighter until his gaze had turned even darker. You only understood what that meant for you when he grabbed your hand, pulling it away from him.
Away from him and towards the silk rope on one side of the headboard.
“You…” you let out, as he started tying you up with skilled fingers.
“I don’t want you touching me”, he murmured. “This is all about what you feel.”
“I like touching you”, you complained, with a little whiny voice that had him offering you a soft smile.
“I’ll let you touch later.” He held your gaze, before kissing your lips softly once. “Unless you are uncomfortable with me tying you up.”
As much as being tied up for your first time felt weird, it also felt right. Right because Taehyung was home, and you trusted him.
You knew he would untie you the moment you looked uncomfortable.
“No, it’s okay”, you said, offering him consent. “Just don’t tie it too tight.”
He smiled softly, pecking your lips another time. “I would never.”
He then guided you until you were lying down, before tying your other wrist on the other side of the headboard. The position was strange, but it didn’t hurt, and he had given you enough slack in the rope so you could pull on the restraints a little, keeping it from being painful for your shoulders.
Once that was done, Taehyung moved away until he was standing, and your eyes followed him carefully as he reached for condoms in his bedside table. He put a condom on, stroking his dick up and down a few times to make sure it was well in place, before moving back between your legs.
He was big. His large head stretched the condom thin, and you looked down at him as he positioned himself next to your entrance.
He caught your gaze, offering you another one of those sweet smiles of his. The ones that tugged his lips downwards a little, yet you knew they held happiness.
Or whatever happiness he could find in the act of having sex with you.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, holding your gaze.
You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you watched the shadows that danced on his features from the flickering light of the candles. He waited as you remained silent, patiently, hand still wrapped around the base of his dick.
Taehyung felt like home. Look like it too, familiar features that you had come to know growing up. He felt like innocence and nostalgia, in the right way. Even though the act you were about to do held nothing innocent.
“Yes.”
You had never been more sure of anything in your life.
Taehyung nodded slowly, and his gaze turned dark again. The sweetness was entirely gone from his face when he started pushing in, and you instinctively pulled against the restraints at the burn.
“Easy”, he whispered once the head was in. He let go of his dick, running soothing hands on your sides. “It will hurt a little at first.”
Your eyes fell shut as he kept pushing in, stretching you wider than his fingers ever had. It did hurt, a little, but mostly it felt strange. You focused on the strangeness, letting the pain go as he continued his way in, up until he reached your cervix.
That part hurt like a bitch, and you let out a small yelp of pain.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he pulled out.
“Sorry.”
“Are you okay?” he repeated, completely ignoring your apology.
You nodded slowly, but refused to meet his gaze.
“Look at me”, he murmured, and one of his large hands cupped your cheek.
Your eyes fluttered open instinctively. He was ethereal, kneeling between your legs, hair falling in his gaze. You tried to move the strand away, but the silk rope held you in place.
“Do you want me to untie you?” he asked.
“No”, you answered, with a small voice. “Can you go in again?”
He remained silent, but he obeyed, pushing his dick inside of you once more. You held his gaze until he bottomed out again, and the pain shot through your nerves. It was a little less this time, but still there nonetheless.
“I’m hurting you”, he stated.
You shook your head. “It’s just…” you trailed off, swallowing audibly. “It hurts when you are all the way in.”
He pulled out a little, and the sensation dissipated to nothing.
“Better?”
You nodded.
“Words”, he reminded you.
It made you smile. “Yes Tae, it’s better.”
He smiled too, before bending down. It made his dick move inside of you, but your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed you sweetly, before slowly pulling almost all the way out.
“Then I won’t go too deep for now”, he murmured against your lips. You nodded against him, before kissing him again.
It was a slow kiss, timed with the back and forth of his hips. The sensation still felt strange, not as good as what his fingers made you feel like, but it was a good kind of strange.
The kind that made your heart beat steadier in your chest as he kept on kissing you, swallowing every breathy sound you made.
It took a moment, but the sensation slowly changed, inching towards pleasure as he moved a little faster, shifting a little until he hit a different spot inside of you. It didn’t hurt, not even a little bit, but you could feel how big he was, how much he was stretching you.
You really had chosen a big dick for your first time, hadn’t you?
Taehyung moved from your lips to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the skin. You moaned softly, quietly, and he picked up the pace a little. You could feel his balls slapping your ass each time he went almost all the way in, but you were pretty sure there were still a few inches of his dick out of you.
You doubted he’d ever be able to fuck you with the entirety of it. But as you slowly eased into the sensation, you pulled on the silk ropes, fingers aching to be touching him.
“Easy, princess”, he breathed on the spot under your ear. His low voice sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core, and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer.
He reached deep inside of you. Yet this time it didn’t hurt, and you even let out a small moan that had him look up from your neck.
“Quiet”, he reminded you, before pressing a kiss on your lips. “Quiet or I’ll have to stop.”
“No.”
Your quick reply had him smirking, and he straightened until he was back to a kneeling position between your legs. His dick was still deep inside of you, where he had stilled a moment ago, and you wondered if this was still Taehyung.
If he was still the man you knew and had had a crush on. Because the next moment everything lost coherency, and the only reason why you couldn’t moan out loud was that he had pressed a hand on your mouth, holding one of your thighs with the other.
He fucked into you. Relentlessly. Pushing you to your limits, trying different angles that had you seeing stars. He was panting over you, sweat glittering on his brow with the light of the candles. But he never slowed down, keeping that same unforgiving pace that turned everything inside of you to liquid lava.
“Such a good little princess”, he breathed, and there was an edge to his voice. Maybe because he too was keeping his grunts and moans in, or maybe because he was on the verge of coming.
You couldn’t tell, and your brain had completely lost the ability to think a couple of moments ago.
“So tight”, he praised as he slowed the rhythm, and you met his gaze. “So fucking tight.”
He pushed inside of you harder, and a pained expression moved on your features. He immediately stopped, before bending down again.
“Let me untie you.”
You hadn’t realized that you were pulling on the restraints so hard, but as soon as your wrists were freed you wrapped your arms around Taehyung’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. He fucked into you again then, quick and hard and he swallowed the moans that escaped the confines of your mouth.
Your hands roamed his body, getting lost in his hair and caressing the skin of his back, until you were pretty sure you could mold his shape into mud. Until you were pretty sure you knew every little aspect of him, as his lips kept moving against yours. His tongue met yours, and he kissed you wildly, letting out a grunt that had your walls clenching against him.
“Fuck fuck fuck”, he cursed in your mouth.
You let out another breathy moan, and he pulled back to look at your face. He was so close you could count the moles on his features, and you reached to trace them, gently, as his rhythm slowed down.
“Everything okay?” you asked him, almost pensively, as he moved way too slow for pleasure to steal your thoughts again.
“You feel like heaven, princess”, he praised, and he landed a kiss on the top of your nose. “But I’m not sure I want to come yet.”
You bit your lip, before pulling him closer again. Not enough for your lips to touch, but enough for your eyelids to fall shut from the proximity. “Please come for me, Tae.”
“Fuck.” His curse held no bite as he nodded. You watched his blown pupils as he started moving faster again, until his balls were slapping your ass once more. It was a little loud, but you didn’t want to stop Taehyung from chasing his high, so you kept silent, holding your moans in as he dug his face in your neck, sucking a mark on your shoulder to keep his own moan in.
It hurt. Just a little. The kind of pain that made your nails dig in his back. Just a little. But that was enough to send Taehyung over the edge, and he cursed as he emptied inside the condom, stilling his movements deep inside of you. You could feel his dick twitching as he unloaded, and you held him close as he bit into the spot he had been sucking on.
Halfway through the ordeal, Taehyung moved his head from your neck. You barely had time to look at his glossy lips before he had them pressed against yours, and he kissed you through the remainder of his orgasm. Fast and wild and wet, with his tongue chasing yours in your mouth.
Once he was done, Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, and you breathed the same air until your heartbeats had gone steady in your chests again. Only then did Taehyung pull away, and his dick pulled free from your pussy, leaving you empty.
It really did feel empty after he had been stretching you like that.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as he rolled next to you, turning his face to look at you.
It took a moment for you to meet his gaze, and you just watched him carefully as he awaited your reply ever so patiently.
“Good”, you whispered.
He smiled, that same sweet smile that had stolen your heart when you were just a teenager. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
He looked away, eyes trailing to the ceiling. You watched the flickering lights of the candles on his profile for a time, before looking up at the ceiling too.
“For being here with me for my birthday”, he said. “But also for trusting me with your first time.”
You wet your lips, shrugging your shoulders. “I think some part of me always imagined that it would be you.”
You wanted to curse yourself the moment the words had left your lips.
“What?”
His eyes had moved back to you now, but you refused to meet his gaze. “I had a crush on you when we were younger.”
“Oh.” He remained silent for a time, and you wondered if he could hear every painful beat of your heart. “That’s cute.”
You blushed even though your cheeks were already flushed from the sex. “Cute?”
“Mmh”, he hummed in agreement. “You’re cute.”
You looked at him then, meeting his dark eyes. They were crinkling at the corners, as the corners of his lips tugged upwards on his handsome features.
“Am I?”
He nodded slowly. “Especially when I’m fucking you.”
A teasing glint had taken form in his gaze, and you rolled your eyes. “I should have expected you’d be an ass about it.”
“Hey”, he let out, and he rested a hand palm first on your stomach. “I’d never be an ass when it comes to you.”
Could he tell he had stopped your heart in your chest with that simple sentence?
“Never?”
He seemed to ponder for a time. “Not purposefully, no.”
It made you wary, and you furrowed your brows. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“That I don’t want to be an ass when it comes to you.”
You didn’t want to feel like you felt then. As if the crush had never left and was slowly blossoming into more. But he made it so damn hard.
“As much as I like hearing you say that, I should probably head back to Eunjin’s room”, you murmured, before cowering away from his gaze as disappointment filled it.
You were fleeing. You knew you were, but you didn’t have another option.
Kim Taehyung was far too dangerous for your own good.
*****
Days came and went, faster than you had ever imagined they could. Being held by Kim Taehyung felt like that: as if you were a fast car racing for the end of the street.
You could only hope the end of the street wasn’t made of a stonewall.
The rest of the Holidays had been lovely, with your family and his. You had then gone back home to Seoul, and your secret meetings with Taehyung resumed in their usual scene: him in your apartment, and occasionally you in his. You liked going to his place, and it was needless to say why: his dog was one of the cutest you had seen in your life. It was also reassuring, in some way, to know that Taehyung didn’t mind you being in his place. Even if what you shared was still but an illicit affair, being held by him in his bed while the alarm clock on his bedside table read the hour of early mornings felt just right.
You didn’t have a chance to meet up often. It made you wary, sad, and sometimes you thought yourself to be delusional. Because you wanted to see him more, wanted to share his days the way you shared his nights. The Holidays had given you a glimpse of that. A week, outside of time, where you had known you’d get to see him every day. Where he had brushed his fingers against yours when no one else looked, as if he just couldn’t resist closing the distance between you.
Months passed, and you wondered if there would be a day where you wouldn’t need to wait. Sometimes, you considered ending things with Taehyung, just because he was silent for a while. But whenever he held you again, you knew you couldn’t stop. Drugs were addictive, and Kim Taehyung was the most addictive drug this world held.
The devil through and through. Because he was sweet, giving in to your fantasies. Cuddling you when you didn’t feel like having sex, teasing you about shared memories or kissing your shoulder while you cooked food for him. Occasional meetings, yes, but all of them held feelings you had never thought you’d feel.
The months of winter passed, with icy winds carrying snowdrifts and staying in as cold reigned over the world. You worked a lot during those months, and maybe that most of all was the reason why you never found the courage to speak to Taehyung. Because even though you were growing wary, seeing him felt like a day of summer in the middle of winter, and you needed it. It wasn’t like he treated you badly. Taehyung was sweet, with everything he did. You just couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing when you weren’t together.
You knew some stuff from his public persona, but Taehyung was far more than what met the eyes of outsiders. His mind was complex, a maze you hadn’t been able to figure out. You didn’t know if you were to figure it out someday, and some part of you wondered if it would have been different, had he not become an idol. Had he stayed in Daegu, next to you. It was treacherous thoughts, so you pushed them away whenever they came.
Surprisingly enough, Eunjin didn’t notice the change in you. Or maybe she had chosen not to, and she never questioned you whenever you fell silent, or gazed in the distance longingly. It was the strangest thing to be hiding something so big from your best friend, but it had become second nature a while ago.
The month of April was pretty, in Seoul. With flowers blossoming on every street corner, and warm winds erasing the chills winter had left behind. They also eased the thoughts that held a dark corner of your heart, whenever it came to Taehyung. Shed light to the darkness, especially when Taehyung invited you over some early afternoon. It was unusual, as you always met later in the evening, but he had called you on one of your rare days off. You weren’t going to miss the opportunity.
You got ready quickly, dressing up in a black skirt that you paired with a dark cardigan over a white polo shirt. It looked preppy, a style you had realized Taehyung enjoyed. Though his clothing usually was far more expensive than yours, it still felt great whenever he complimented you for how you dressed.
Taehyung’s compliments hit differently than those of the other men around you. Not that there were a lot of men. Except for the males in your family and Jeongyu, you didn’t really talk to any men other than Taehyung.
You didn’t want that to change.
You made your way to Taehyung’s place slowly, enjoying the warm breeze the day held. The sun shone brightly, with only a few lazy white clouds streaming overhead. Birds sang their chirpy songs, accompanying the music you were bobbing your head to from the lone earbud in your left ear. You bowed at the sweet old street vendor that offered you tteokbokki, reminding you of that night Taehyung had come to pick you up. The first night something had happened between the two of you, when a whole new world had opened up to you. It plastered a smile on your lips, and you arrived at Taehyung’s place in a cheery mood.
It only swelled even more when he opened his door to you, with a matching bright smile on his own lips. He spoke your name softly, grabbing your hand and pulling you in.
You giggled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Hi”, you greeted him, hugging him back as the fragrance of his detergent hit your nose.
It smelled just like him, and you shut your eyes as you rested your head against his shoulder.
“I’m happy you could come over”, he murmured. He pulled away from the hug, just enough to press a kiss on the top of your head. “Yeontan missed you.”
Another light giggle fell from your lips. “Yeontan?” you questioned, even if you could hear the dog barking from the other room.
“Mmh.” Taehyung nodded, and he kissed the top of your head again. “I missed you too.”
“That’s more like it.” You said it teasingly, and Taehyung chuckled over you.
“Where did you get tteokbokki?”
You had all but forgotten the little plastic bag that hung from your hand, and you pulled away from the hug to give it to Taehyung.
“Some sweet lady offered it to me while I was on my way.”
A mischievous smile spread on his lips, one you echoed as you took off your shoes to follow him in.
Yeontan was on the couch when you walked in the living room, barking happily from the cushion he was sitting on. You made your way to the little dog, picking him up to hug him against your chest as Taehyung kept moving in, towards the kitchen area. You followed him as the dog tried licking your chin, which made you laugh giddily.
If the look Taehyung offered you over his shoulder wasn’t endearing, you didn’t know what endearment was. It filled your heart with warmth, and blush crept on your cheeks.
Taehyung put the tteokbokki down on his table, before moving to grab chopsticks for the both of you. You sat on a chair, putting Yeontan down on your thighs as you watched Taehyung walk back to your side. He sat on the chair next to you, leaving the chopsticks next to the plastic bag before bending down to press a kiss on Yeontan’s head.
He pressed a kiss on your cheek next, before moving to grab the tteokbokki from the bag. It smelled delicious as he pulled the lid off, and he smiled at you as he offered you a short glance.
“Enjoying the day off?” he asked, and a second later he was digging in the tteokbokki.
You followed his lead, and the sweet and spicy flavor filled your mouth as you chewed on the rice cake. Taehyung seemed to regret his decision, fanning his mouth as a disgusted scowl formed on his features.
“Why is it so spicy?” he asked after he swallowed.
You let out a small laugh. “It’s always spicy”, you reminded him.
He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, and you gently shoved him in the shoulder.
“Actually”, he said after a short moment of silence. “I have something I wanted to ask you.”
“What’s up?” you asked, without thinking more of it.
You were in a good mood after all. But when Taehyung didn’t reply right away, only watching you carefully, you turned your head towards him, putting the chopsticks down on the bowl.
“Is something wrong?” you asked, voice smaller all of a sudden.
“If I asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend for a dinner, would you say yes?”
You sucked in a breath, eyes going a little wide. Your heart skipped a beat, and you found you couldn’t hold his gaze.
“What?”
You could see him worry at his bottom lip as he thought, probably searching for the right words to say to convince you. “The members have been on my back about being single for a while”, he said carefully. “I just want them to stop.”
You could understand where he was coming from. People, mostly your family, often annoyed you about being single, about not having someone in your life. It got on your nerves sometimes, but ever since you had started seeing Taehyung, you had found that you didn’t mind all that much when they asked you questions. You only had to let your thoughts diverge towards the arms of the man sitting next to you and the annoyance disappeared.
But the word ‘pretend’ in his mouth sounded bitter. Sour, as if it had gone bad before leaving the confines of his beautiful mouth. Or maybe it was just the wariness that had been lurking at the back of your mind that suddenly grew stronger.
Taehyung was looking at you. With a small pout on his lips, an expectant look in his eyes. His cheeks were a little puffed up, and for a moment you wanted to reach out and pinch them. You resisted though, keeping one hand on the table and the other on Yeontan’s back. To calm the itch in your fingers, you scratched the dog, and your eyes moved away from Taehyung.
“For a dinner?” you asked.
Taehyung must have thought that meant yes, because a boxy smile made its way to his lips, making his whole face shine just like the world outside was shining. “Tonight, yeah. Jimin invited all of us over.”
“Tonight?” you repeated, eyes going round once again. “Tae, that gives me no time to get ready!”
He wet his lips, before glancing at you. “You look gorgeous, princess.”
You couldn’t say no. You couldn’t say no to his sweet face and his sweet words. You were pretty sure he could get you to crawl in mud if he wanted to.
“Tae…” you trailed off, and a small pout formed on your lips.
He echoed it with one of his own, and he murmured your name with a low voice that sent a shiver down your spine. It reminded you of the way he whispered it against your skin whenever you were entwined, and really, you couldn’t say no at all.
“What do I get in exchange?” you asked, looking down at Yeontan as you pet him.
“I’ll let you go on a shopping spree with my card?”
The suggestion made a small laugh bubble in your chest. “Tae, I can pay for my clothes myself.”
You glanced at him, but his eyes were looking at the tteokbokki as he furrowed his brows, lost in thoughts. “I can buy you food?”
You rolled your eyes. “Why do you think I want a gift?”
“What else could I give you?”
Your heart felt strange in your chest again. You. For real. You wanted to say it, but something kept you from doing so. All you could do was shrug as you looked away. Until Yeontan moved under the palm of your hand.
“You could let me have Yeontan.”
Taehyung gasped. “My dog? Never.”
“Then don’t make me pretend to be your girlfriend.”
“Please?”
You rolled your eyes again, before offering him a small smile. “I’ll just steal Yeontan without you realizing. But I’ll go with you.”
He smiled brightly. “I’ll ignore the threat, but I won’t forget it.”
He planted a kiss on your cheek, before grabbing more tteokbokki. You followed his lead, watching his profile carefully. Until an idea popped up in your mind.
“You know what we should do?”
He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at you, chewing the tteokbokki as quickly as he could to swallow before it burned his mouth too much.
“What?”
A wicked smile grew on your lips. “We should get matching outfits.”
His eyes widened, lighting up with agreement. “Oh, they definitely would believe us then.”
You ignored the ache that formed in your heart at his words as you nodded your head.
“You’re a genius”, he complimented you.
Your wicked smile melted softly. “Doing my best.”
And as Taehyung offered you one of his iconic grins, you realized that you cared about him far more than you even thought possible. Because his happiness made you happy.
Dangerous grounds to tread for sure.
*****
Turned out Taehyung had everything in his wardrobe to match his outfit with yours after all. His pants matched your skirt perfectly, and his no-sleeves wool cardigan was similar enough to yours to give the right vibe. He also had a white polo-shirt, one that almost looked like a golf polo, that worked perfectly to complete his outfit. A black belt hugged his pants to his hips, and the smile on his lips matched yours just right.
The perfect picture of a happy couple.
The elevator leading to Jimin’s apartment felt crowded, with just you and Taehyung standing there. Your eyes had diverged to a stain on the carpet, and Taehyung watched your profile for a time as the elevator shot upwards.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
You chuckled breathlessly. “I’m anxious. I don’t know your friends. And what if Eunjin learns that I was here?”
“She won’t”, Taehyung reassured you. “She barely talks to the members. They’ll never connect the dots.”
You knew he was right. Because there was no way in hell Taehyung would have asked you if he had thought it might reach Eunjin’s ears. Still, your previous wariness hadn’t let go of you, and you were pretty sure you were about to step in the biggest mess you had ever stepped in.
“Plus”, Taehyung added, and he turned to face you and grab your hands. “They’ll love you, I’m sure of it.”
“It doesn’t really matter if they love me or not”, you pointed out. “I’m probably never going to see them again.”
Taehyung remained silent, though he tried to catch your gaze as you stubbornly kept it on the floor. Once he understood you weren’t going to look up, he grabbed your chin to force you to meet his gaze.
“Let’s not think about that right now, mmh?” he murmured as soon as your eyes locked together. “We have to put on a good show.”
You gulped, glancing down at the lips you had kissed far more often than you should have. They looked just as soft as ever, and they glistened a little from when he had wet them just a few seconds ago.
“I’m not an actress like you…”
“Just follow my lead”, he encouraged. “You’ll do great, princess, I’m not worried.”
And as the elevator dinged and the doors started sliding open, Taehyung leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips. It felt strange to be kissed by him somewhere else other than in your apartments, but your eyes immediately fell shut, and you let out a small sigh.
“Why am I not surprised?” a voice said from outside of the elevator.
You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, blush creeping on your cheeks. Kim Seokjin was standing outside the elevator, arm outstretched to keep the doors from closing shut.
“Hyung!” Taehyung let out happily. He introduced you, before pointing at the older man, eyes on you. “This is Kim Seokjin.”
“World-wide handsome”, Seokjin said as a way to introduce himself, a small smirk on his plump lips. “We almost thought you didn’t exist.”
You pursed your lips to keep in the nervous laugh that had almost fallen from your mouth. Because you actually didn’t exist, but they couldn’t know, right? “Nice to meet you.”
Seokjin chuckled. “Sorry, that was rude. Nice to meet you too, Y/n.”
An alarm started blaring in the elevator, startling you.
“I was on my way down to get some stuff Jimin forgot at the grocery store”, Seokjin said as he got in.
“We’ll come with”, Taehyung said, but it was useless, since the doors had already slid shut.
You were encased in silence, and your gaze slid to Taehyung. Seokjin stood between the two of you, with his face angled towards the floor. He looked sad, for a moment there, but when Taehyung asked him what he was supposed to get, the shadows lifted and his features lit up as he answered.
They talked for a time, and you tried to disappear through the carpet, not wanting to attract Seokjin’s attention. It was a failure because he glanced at you, offering you the whole of his focus. “How did you meet Taehyung?”
You really hadn’t planned this thing right, had you? Because you had no idea what to say. Taehyung looked at you, waiting for the lie you would craft, but nothing came to mind.
“Uh…” you let out, as your cheeks burned red. “We…” you paused, looking at Taehyung for salvation. He offered none, and you finally decided to settle on something that was as close to the truth as you dared to get. “We grew up together.”
“You’re from Daegu?” Seokjin asked, a soft smile on his lips.
You nodded. “My parents lived near Taehyung’s parents’ farm.”
Seokjin nodded, before starting to talk about his farmer uncle. You didn’t really have a chance to plug in a word, and Taehyung made sure to keep Seokjin going. Probably because that way he was off your back. And it worked, the grocery store trip being filled with stories Seokjin recalled about the farm, and eventually he moved on to stories about Taehyung in their trainee days.
Seokjin was funny. With an easy smile and an easier laugh that you found hard not to share. He was nice with you, and as you were riding the elevator back up to Jimin’s place, you found yourself more at ease. Still, you didn’t really know how to act around Taehyung, but you were pretty sure it didn’t really matter.
Some couples didn’t do a lot of public displays of affection, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dating, right?
Walking in Jimin’s apartment put you back to square one, as you saw most of the other members sprawled on the couches. Three girls were sitting with the members, and you could hear two women’s voices coming from what you could only assume was the kitchen, along with the unmistakable voice of Jeon Jungkook.
Most of all, every pair of eyes had turned to you, and you were pretty sure none of them were looking at Taehyung or Seokjin. No, it really felt as if you were the center of attention, and you hated it.
Until Taehyung stood closer to you, his large hand gently taking a hold of yours. He reassuringly brushed the back of your hand with his thumb, and you glanced at him. He had a soft smile on his lips when your gazes locked, but he quickly moved his attention to the group.
“Hey”, he simply said, and conversations immediately resumed, as if silence hadn’t been reigning a moment ago.
Hoseok, Namjoon and Jimin moved to you, hugging you as Taehyung did the introductions. Yoongi waved at you from his spot on the couch, and you waved back, eyes trailing to the girl at his side. She waved you over, and Taehyung tightened his hold on your hand before letting you go.
With cheeks burning, you moved towards the girl. She moved closer to Yoongi, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder so she could cuddle into his side. You sat in the spot she had left for you, next to another girl that offered you a bright smile as you glanced at her.
“I know this might be overwhelming”, she said secretively. “When Namjoon got me to meet all of them, I almost thought I was going to die from the anxiety.”
You could understand.
“But you fit right in!” Yoongi’s girlfriend happily said. “And I’m sure…” she trailed off and you figured out she was waiting for your name. You offered it to her with a shy voice. She repeated it, before continuing, “I’m sure you’ll fit right in too.”
You could only hope they didn’t notice your discomfort because you were caught in a lie. “Thank you”, you breathed, meeting Taehyung’s gaze from across the room.
At the looks Jimin and Hoseok threw at you, you could only assume they were talking about you. Taehyung offered you a reassuring nod of his head, along with a small smile he reserved just for you. Then Namjoon said something, and Taehyung looked away, forcing you to go back to the conversation around you.
The girls offered an easy conversation, one Yoongi participated in with ease. That most of all brought you back to the ease Seokjin had raised in you, and you even found yourself enjoying their company. Hoseok’s girlfriend was just as nice, though she didn’t stay long, claiming she had to help Jimin’s girlfriend, Jungkook and his own girlfriend in the kitchen. Seokjin followed her, which left you with the rest of them.
Soon enough, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon moved back with you, and conversation flowed easily in the group. Surprisingly enough, no one really asked you any questions about you and Taehyung. They all just joked around, and shots of soju were passed around the group.
Min Yoongi surprised you the most out of all of the members. For some reason, you had expected him to be shy and cold, but he was all smiles and excited, participating in the conversation with everyone, even leading it sometimes. He was cute, and his girlfriend looked at him with soft eyes that made you jealous, in some way.
Because even though you were looking at Taehyung like that, it was an act. It couldn’t be more than pretending. Indeed, he really had just asked for it to be for one dinner. Nothing more.
You could hope, though. Because he acted around you with ease. Holding you close, kissing the top of your head or holding your hand whenever he could. When he pulled you up to your feet as you were moving to the dining room, he even kissed you in front of everyone, holding you by the waist with his large hands. When he pulled away, you found yourself unable to hold his gaze, instead busying yourself with pulling invisible lint off his cardigan.
It didn’t go unnoticed to him. The way you avoided his gaze. You knew because his hands tightened on your waist, as if he could bring you back to your senses. But your heart was aching in your chest, as it had been throughout the day, whenever you remembered that it was all fake.
“Are you okay?” he asked, voice low just for you to hear.
The living room had emptied a moment ago, and you felt comfortable to speak up. “I can’t do this, Tae…”
He pursed his lips. “You’ve been doing great.”
“But I hate lying.” You looked up once, before quickly shying away from his gaze again. “They all look so happy for you.”
“Which means it’s working”, he pointed out.
A question took shape in your mind, and you shut your eyes tightly trying to avoid saying it.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, and he sounded a little exasperated.
“Why do you want this to be fake?” you enquired, and courage made its way to you, enough so that you met his gaze with a harsh look on your face. “I’ve been thinking about it all day and I don’t understand why you want to pretend.”
You wondered if he would answer truthfully. If he would finally let you see some part of the mystery that clouded him. Instead, he scoffed, looking over his shoulder.
“We can talk about it later.”
“Don’t dismiss me like that”, you said through gritted teeth.
“Y/n, Taehyung-oppa!” a female voice said from the hallway.
You tried to loosen the expression on your features as Jungkook’s girlfriend came into view. You didn’t know if you succeeded, but Taehyung’s cheerful tone as he told her you were on your way worked well enough, and the tattoo artist turned back on her heels.
“Now, let’s just pretend for a little longer and then we can talk”, Taehyung said to you, letting go of your waist.
“Please stop being so…” you trailed off, motioning between the two of you.
“So what?”
You met his gaze, letting out a long sigh. “Stop acting as if you’re in love.” And really, he wasn’t even acting all that different from what he usually acted like with you. It was pretty much the same, and that most of all was killing you. Because then it meant that the way he had carried himself in all those secret meetings meant nothing, even though you had been telling yourself the opposite for so long.
“How else can they believe me?”
“I don’t know, Tae, but I really don’t like it.”
He scoffed. “You’ve been a blushing and smiling mess, don’t tell me you don’t like it.”
“That’s exactly my point, Tae.”
You didn’t wait for him to say something else, instead moving around him to make your way to the dining room. You didn’t want to lose your cool, and you knew damn well a moment longer in that living room would have led to you bashing Taehyung’s perfect teeth in.
He was oblivious. Or you were just a game for him to play.
A game he had become a master at.
*****
Later that evening, you found yourself lingering at Jimin’s place, along with Jungkook and his girlfriend. Seokjin had left first – it was easy to know why. He was the only one that was unaccompanied, and that same sad look you had seen on his features in the elevator had come back frequently, as the evening had unfolded.
Whoever Kim Seokjin was longing for, they had broken his heart to pieces.
Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and their partners had all left since they had early plans the next morning. Unfortunately for you, you were off from work tomorrow too, and didn’t have any excuse to give everyone as to why you needed to leave. So you stayed, even if the atmosphere between you and Taehyung had turned cold after your conversation in the living room.
He had continued his act after, even though you had asked him not to. You were aware you probably looked like an angry girlfriend, so you had tried to relax. Had let him do what he thought he had to, but focused on the conversation with the other girls. Mostly Jungkook’s partner, as she had been the one sitting next to you.
The tattoo artist had bright eyes. They shone brighter whenever Jungkook was close to her, and sometimes you thought you saw stars in her eyes. Mostly, the celestial bodies were visible when she was gazing at the man she loved, and he echoed them with galaxies in his own gaze.
Another reminder to you that for all the feelings you had for Taehyung, you would never be allowed to look at him that same way. Because you were aware that the hurt and the anger were coming from feelings. Affection you had been trying to push back to the very back of your mind, but that had refused to be forgotten all throughout the day. It was easy to ignore it when it was just you and Taehyung but pretending around other people was wrong.
And a mistake through and through.
You were glad when Taehyung let you out of his sight, after most of everyone had left. Jimin’s girlfriend had to go back home to call her mother on Facetime, and the boys were currently in the living room, joking around as long-time friends usually did. That left you alone in the kitchen with Jungkook’s girlfriend, and she sat on one of the high stools at the island as you washed the dishes.
Taehyung had done most of it earlier, but the dessert dish had been forgotten on the stove, so you decided to busy yourself by taking care of it. Mostly because Jungkook’s girlfriend had been looking at you curiously, as if she knew the secrets you had been keeping.
“Something happened between you and Taehyung-oppa?” she asked.
You startled, glancing at her before shrugging your shoulders. “Happens sometimes, doesn’t it?”
She pursed your lips, before slowly nodding. “Yeah.”
An awkward silence moved between you, as you focused back on the dish.
“I…” she started, but she never finished the sentence.
You looked at her again, this time catching her gaze.
“We didn’t really fight”, you admitted.
The truth had come out so easily your eyes widened.
“I know.” She did. You could tell by the way a careful look moved on her features. “Taehyung told Jungkook.”
You sighed, gaze dropping to the floor. You grabbed a towel to dry your hands, before leaning against the counter, folding your arms on your chest. “What did he say?”
“That he was tired of being laughed at.” The girl looked away from you, as if she felt bad to be the one telling you. “He and Sanghee had a really complicated story, and the boys have been trying to get him to move on from her.”
You had no idea who Sanghee was. Some part of you thought to ask Eunjin, but you knew that wasn’t even a possibility. The only person you could ask was Taehyung, and you weren’t convinced you even wanted to speak to him right now.
“By laughing at him?” you asked.
Jungkook’s girlfriend chuckled. “Not really, no. Mostly, they kept telling him to put himself out there. To go out with the girls that ask him out and stuff like that. He kept refusing saying he didn’t need it, then said he was dating someone earlier today. Then he brought you here.”
You didn’t really know if Taehyung had told Jungkook you weren’t really dating. So you chose to remain silent, as Jungkook’s girlfriend looked down at her glass on the island in front of her.
“I think I’m only telling you because Jungkook and I had a similar situation”, she continued. She then seemed to think better of it, meeting your gaze. “Well, it wasn’t all that similar. But Jungkook’s ex almost came between the two of us…” She shrugged, pursing her lips. “But I think you should tell Taehyung how you feel.”
“We’re dating”, you lied.
Jungkook’s girlfriend cocked an eyebrow prettily, letting out a small laugh. “You are not.”
You almost wanted to be angry at her for pointing it out, but she offered you a kind smile that only made tears prick at your eyes. You turned away from her, resuming your work on cleaning the dishes.
“But you could be if you actually talked to him”, she added. “I have a hard time believing that everything he’s done today is an act.”
You found it hard to believe too, yet you knew it was the truth. Because you could feel that Taehyung had changed after your fight in the living room. Even if he still was clingy, he was cold.
Kim Taehyung had never been cold to you before. No, ever since that night you had told him what you had, under the star-filled blanket of the night sky, Taehyung had always been warm when it came to you.
You were pretty sure it was coming to an end now.
“Taehyung is an enigma”, you pointed out. “He’s been that way since we were kids.”
Nothing interrupted the silence in the kitchen for a moment, except the sound of the water sloshing as you washed the dish through tears in your eyes. Jungkook’s girlfriend remained silent, so much so you almost thought she had left. But she seemed like the kind of girl that would stick up for someone else, and you were pretty sure she wouldn’t leave you alone right now.
It seemed you had judged her character well, because a second later she appeared at the corner of your vision. You glanced at her, and she offered you a gentle smile. “Jimin said he was going to take care of washing that.” She put a hand on your wrist, until you had let go and she could dry your hands with the hand towel. “Just talk to him”, she said gently. “It’s surprising what a good conversation can do.”
You raised your eyebrows, slightly shaking your head. “I think I dug the grave a while ago.”
“Why do you think that?” she asked as she put the towel back on the oven’s handle before looking at you again.
“He’s my best friend’s older brother”, you admitted. “I’ve known him forever.”
Jungkook’s girlfriend nodded, but didn’t say anything, letting you choose the rhythm at which you wanted to confide in her.
“Eunjin had a party in October, and it was my first time seeing Taehyung in years.” Images of the night came back to you: the beer pong, Taehyung holding your hand, the stars outside. How you had woken up in his bed the next day. “A few weeks later, he came to pick me up after I drank a little, we kissed and then we started…” you trailed off, as your cheeks burned red. “He’s my first. I don’t know why I chose him. Maybe because I used to have a crush on him, but…” You ran a shaky hand through your hair. “But he asked me to hide the whole thing from everyone. I did because I thought what we had was enough. But when he asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend tonight, it just felt wrong. It’s been feeling wrong.”
You finally fell silent, and Jungkook’s girlfriend waited a few seconds to make sure you were done before speaking, “This has been going on since October?”
“Well, more since November”, you said, nodding your head. “Why?”
She didn’t have time to speak before Taehyung appeared in the hallway leading to the living room.
“Hey”, he said, leaning against the wall.
Jungkook’s girlfriend kept her eyes on you, as if trying to tell you something. You couldn’t read the words behind her gaze though, and you eventually had to turn towards Taehyung.
“Hey”, you let out.
Jungkook’s girlfriend was pulling at some dry skin on her lower lip when she looked at Taehyung too. “Oppa.”
“Everything okay?” he asked, eyes focused on you.
It felt as if he was dismissing Jungkook’s girlfriend, and something about the way she stiffened next to you made you wonder what she had been about to tell you. What revelation her next sentence would have held had she had the time to tell you.
Instead, she only gently patted your shoulder, before walking away.
“Don’t hurt her”, she told Taehyung, one fist on her hip and a finger pointed at him aggressively.
Taehyung widened his gaze, but she was gone before he had time to reply.
“What’s wrong with her?” Taehyung asked as she disappeared. He pushed himself up from the wall, before taking a few steps towards you.
You shrugged. “I like her.”
“I usually like her, but she was weird tonight.”
Was she the only one that had been weird? Everything about the evening felt weird and wrong to you.
“Mmh”, you let out, turning away from Taehyung as he stopped next to you.
He murmured your name, hand shooting in the space between you… but he never touched you, letting his arm fall back at his side. “Do you want to go home?”
You nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah, I think it would be better.” You sighed, folding your arms on your chest again.
Taehyung leaned on the counter next to you, hands disappearing in his pockets. He watched you carefully, with that deep gaze of his. You couldn’t resist glancing at him, and your heart stopped in your chest at the look on his features.
He had no business looking at you like that when you were alone.
“I shouldn’t have asked this of you”, he said, voice barely above a whisper.
You gulped, immediately looking away. “It’s whatever, Tae.”
“I’m sorry I was an ass earlier”, he continued, ignoring your words.
It brought you back to the night of his birthday, when he had said he’d never be an ass when it came to you. Had he only said that to ensnare you further?
You had never thought Taehyung would be the kind of man to make promises he couldn’t hold.
“You weren’t an ass”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “You asked me something and I said yes. I’m the stupid one that let it get to my head.”
“But this didn’t start today, did it?”
“Can we talk about this at home?”
You met his gaze, holding it until Taehyung finally gave in, nodding his head. “Alright.”
You said goodbye to Jungkook and his girlfriend, in the living room, before moving towards the door. They walked you to the door, telling you that Jimin had gone to his girlfriend’s place across the hall, and that they’d say you had to go. Jungkook’s girlfriend hugged you before you left, whispering encouragement in your ear. You exchanged phone numbers, even as Taehyung seemed a little weary next to you, and soon enough you were on the way.
The elevator ride down to the underground parking lot was spent in a tense silence. So was the car ride, and you pulled at dry skin on your bottom lip so much you could almost taste the metallic tang of blood on your tongue.
It was only when you were standing in Taehyung’s hall that you finally turned towards him.
“Can I ask you a question?”
He tilted his head to the side, mouth parted just a little. Just enough for his tongue to dart out and wet his lips. “Yeah?”
“Who’s Sanghee?”
He immediately froze. One hand in one of his pockets, the other holding the sweater he had brought back from Jimin’s place – he had apparently forgotten it there last time he had gone.
“I knew Jungkook’s girlfriend was up to no good…”
He walked away from you, and you followed him to the living room. Surprisingly enough, Yeontan hadn’t woken up when you had walked in, and the dog blinked tiredly at Taehyung, getting up from the spot it had been sleeping in on the couch. Taehyung threw the sweater next to his dog before he picked him up, hugging him tight to his chest as he pressed a kiss to the top of the dog’s head.
“You know”, you said as he avoided your gaze, “you don’t have to talk to me about her if you don’t want to.” You looked around, surprisingly finding yourself memorizing Taehyung’s living room. “I just think it’s time we talk about what’s going on between us.”
He slowly nodded, and the motion caught your attention. “I realized earlier…” He chuckled, almost bitterly. “I hadn’t realized you were into me like that.”
You hadn’t really either. The way he said it sounded like an accusation, and you furrowed your brows. “It’s not really like I could control it. It just was too real.”
His lips were stretched in a thin line when you looked at him. “I didn’t realize…”
“So tonight was all pretend, right?” You waited till he nodded before you continued. “But what about all the times we hung out before? Was that all a lie too?”
“Why are you talking in the past tense?”
It was the first time he showed concern about whatever was between you. As if he was only now realizing that it was coming to an end.
“Because I can’t keep going on like this”, you admitted.
He sat down on the couch, and his eyes fell to Yeontan in his arms. The small dog was looking at you, tongue on the side of his mouth, head cocked to the side. You wanted to get closer and snuggle him, but for the first time in months, you didn’t want to get closer to Kim Taehyung.
“Understood”, he said, nodding curtly.
“That’s all you’re going to say?”
He focused on Yeontan on his lap, hiding his features behind his hair. “I don’t know what to tell you. You asked me to teach you about…” he trailed off, as if he didn’t want to say the words. “We never talked about feelings.”
Tears were pricking at your eyes. “So it’s just me?”
He didn’t say anything. Only pet Yeontan as the dog watched you carefully. You wondered if he could hear your heart breaking in your chest. Slowly at first, and all at once when Taehyung met your gaze.
His eyes held finality. Like the last line of your favourite song.
“What did Jungkook’s girlfriend say about Sanghee?” he asked.
You thought your blood had turned cold in your veins, and you felt an icy sheen of sweat forming on every inch of your body. “Just her name.”
Taehyung didn’t speak for a time. “She’s an ex”, he admitted. He put Yeontan beside him, and the dog made itself at home right next to him. “We dated for a few months, but…”
You clenched your teeth, waiting for what was to come next.
“When we broke up we kept seeing each other”, he continued. “Purely physical. That’s why the guys wanted me to meet someone else.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, but somehow these were the last words he spoke for a long time.
So long you figured he wasn’t going to say anything else.
“When did you stop seeing her?” you asked, with a wavering voice that made you feel weak.
You thought you already knew, but you wanted to hear it from him. Needed to hear it from him, no matter how much it might hurt.
“It…” he trailed off. “We haven’t really stopped seeing each other.”
You had been a fool to think your heart had broken earlier. Because now it was falling, heading straight to hell, and it tore your chest open. Bled you dry, as your lungs burned. Oxygen made it worse, feeding the fire until every inch of you was burning with heartbreak.
All Taehyung did was look at you. Look at you with the stupid dark gaze that had made you fall for him all those years ago, and once again these few months ago. He looked apologetic, sorry, as if he was a child that had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.
Worse, he looked like someone that had been caught cheating. But it wasn’t really cheating, was it? You hadn’t been dating. Had only been seeing each other for sex. Yes, Taehyung was a respectful man, and had never forced you to do anything if you didn’t feel like it. But you had imagined it to be more, to be him caring for you the same way you cared for him.
You had been delusional to think Kim Taehyung would care about someone else than himself.
After a little eternity, of unsaid words and unrequited feelings, you chose to go. To let him go, and to do what was the good thing for you. Preservation, maybe, even if every single part of you wanted to cross the distance between you and lose yourself in him again. Because maybe then you wouldn’t be hurting so much. Maybe then you could pretend the last few hours had never happened. Had only been a product of your imagination, a nightmare brought to life.
But nightmares were real, and it was time your feet found ground again. Ground and reality, where you could go back to living your life without the sins Kim Taehyung brought to it.
So, you looked away from him and you turned around, making your way towards the door.
“Wait, Y/n”, he said.
You didn’t stop, but he was quicker than you. Maybe because you were weak, and you didn’t really have the strength to walk away. Maybe because you cared too much, and it was slowing you down. He grabbed your wrist, turning you around and pulling you into his arms.
“I don’t want you to leave crying”, he said, wrapping his arms around your shaking frame.
Because you were crying now, sobbing with your face hidden in his chest. He gently ran a soothing hand on your back. And you wanted to curse him for it, to push him away until his heart broke too. He didn’t get to be the one to comfort you. Yet you couldn’t pull away, wanting to enjoy these last moments in the warmth of his arms.
“I really didn’t realize you cared for me like that”, he said softly. “I’m so sorry.”
It made you understand one thing: Taehyung didn’t feel for you the way you felt for him. You had been stupid to think everything would be alright. He had always been meant to break your heart.
Maybe he should have stayed a ghost in your life after all.
“You…” Taehyung started, but his voice caught in his throat.
“What the fuck is going on?”
You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, for what seemed like the hundredth time today. As if you had never been meant to be in his arms in the end. Now you knew that was true. You quickly wiped your cheeks dry, and almost wished you hadn’t when your vision cleared up.
Cleared up to reveal a red-faced Eunjin, with a plastic bag seemingly holding containers.
“What the fuck is going on?” she repeated.
“Why did you just come in like that at this time of the night?” Taehyung asked in the same reproachful tone your best friend had used.
Her eyes moved between you and her brother a couple of times before they settled on you. “Y/n, please tell me this is not what I think it is.”
“Eunjin”, Taehyung said with a stern voice. “It’s none of your business.”
“Something’s going on between the two of you and you didn’t think to tell me?” Eunjin’s voice had gone a little higher.
“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked again.
She slowly shook her head, before putting down the bag she was holding. “Eoma asked me to bring you some side dishes and I didn’t have space in my fridge so I thought I’d drop it off.”
“You can’t just come unannounced.”
“You can’t just fuck my best friend.”
“Eunjin!” you burst out. “Whatever was between us is over.” It made Taehyung tense next to you, but he knew it just as well as you did. Wasn’t it what he wanted?
Eunjin only then realized the tears you had failed at drying. Or maybe your eyes had gone bloodshot, as they tended to do whenever you cried. “Y/n…”
“And now I’m going to go home”, you added and you continued moving towards the door.
Eunjin quickly fell into step with you. “I’m going to kill him.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “Oh he is fucking dead.” This time she scoffed. “I can’t believe he would hurt you.”
“What makes you think he hurt me?” you said as you stopped at the door to put your shoes on.
“I know my brother”, she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s the only thing he knows how to do.”
You were almost offended by what she implied. You looked behind, hoping Taehyung would be there to defend himself, but he hadn’t followed you. It hurt and burned, and you wished you could go back to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. But you couldn’t. Especially not now that Eunjin was next to you.
“The only thing he cares about is himself”, Eunjin continued, and you hated that you had yourself thought so just a moment ago. “He uses people and drops them when he doesn’t need them anymore.”
The look you threw her finally made her shut up. She offered you an apologetic smile, but you ignored it as you stepped out.
“Let me drive you home”, Eunjin gently said once you were outside.
You nodded, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall again. Eunjin noticed, and she grabbed your hand reassuringly.
“I can’t believe I lied to you all this time”, you said, brushing the tears that had spilled on your cheek.
Knowing Eunjin and the grudges she could hold, you could only hope she wouldn’t hold this one. “You know what? I suspected it. During the Holidays. But I wanted you to tell me yourself and then I just thought it was all in my head.”
You chuckled sadly. “Wasn’t in your head.”
“Unfortunately”, she grumbled, looking behind her. “But let’s not talk about it tonight.”
“Aren’t you working tomorrow?” you asked with a small voice.
She shook her head no. “This is an emergency, work can wait.”
This time, you really couldn’t stop the tears that rolled on your cheeks.
“Oh Y/n”, she said, pulling you in her embrace. “I’m so sorry.”
You were tired of Kim siblings apologizing today, but Eunjin’s arms felt a lot more reassuring than Taehyung’s had felt just a moment ago. Strangely enough, just like a moment ago, this hug was interrupted by a Kim sibling, one you really didn’t want to see at the moment.
“Y/n”, Taehyung called from the door to his building.
Eunjin turned on her heels so quickly it almost made you fall. “You go back inside”, she said, motioning to the building. “You don’t get to hurt her and then pretend nothing happened.”
“Eunjin”, Taehyung said carefully. “I just want to talk.”
“Not today, oppa.”
She had her fists on her hips, standing her ground in front of her older brother. It was all for you, and it made a small laugh fall from your lips.
The two siblings threw you a surprised look, and when you met Taehyung’s gaze your heart constricted in your chest, reminding you of the reality of heartbreak.
“What do you want, Tae?”
You had barely spoken over a whisper, but you could see him gulp in the distance. “I just want to talk”, he repeated. “Just to explain myself.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re important to me”, he said. “I can’t just let you go like that.”
“Maybe you should have decided that before breaking her heart, asshole”, Eunjin grumbled.
“Eunjin”, you said in the same scolding tone she had just used.
She rolled her eyes, folding her arms on her chest. “Don’t make me angry at you too.”
You slowly nodded, before turning towards Taehyung again. He looked pale. As if all the honey in his skin had drained, leaving only a pale shade behind. A ghost of what you knew he truly looked like. He almost looked as if this was hurting him as much as it was hurting you, and it made you want to hate him.
But you didn’t really have it in you to hate Kim Taehyung. No matter how broken and jagged the pieces of your heart felt.
“Listen, Tae”, you breathed, and you blinked away tears – who knew you were such a crier when it came to men? “I don’t really want to talk right now.”
“But…”
“Not today, Tae”, you said, echoing Eunjin’s previous words. “I’m tired, and I want to go home.”
He ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. It made them stand on his head, and he looked somehow desperate. As if letting you go was taking its toll on him.
A little dirty part of you was satisfied at the thought that he felt bad too.
“Okay”, he let out. He shut his eyes, cocking his head to the side. “Just call me when you want to talk.”
“I will.” It was a promise, more than you wanted to give him. But the part of you that cared for him really hated that he looked hurt. Deeply, just like you were.
Why would he have run after you if he didn’t care?
It was a treacherous thought to have, and there was so much to discuss between the two of you. Feelings you had ignored so well you hadn’t even realized they were there until it was too late. Stuff he had hidden from you, or that you had never thought to ask. That you had never thought you needed to ask. You had thought what you had with him was real, in some way. Had convinced yourself so well, you had never even seen the signs that it might not be.
Was she why he hadn’t sought to see you more often? The question was poison to your bleeding heart, and you pushed it away. You would have plenty of time to think about it tomorrow, or the day after that. For now, you needed to focus on mending the broken pieces of your heart, in Eunjin’s company. Someone you never should have lied to in the first place. After all, maybe she would have been able to save you the broken heart.
But maybes weren’t going to fix the situation, weren’t they?
*****
Heartbreak did a strange thing to the world. It made it seem colourless, as if the colours had leeched from your surroundings the same way the happiness had disappeared. Everything was meek, shining in shades of a morose gray to which melancholy clung. Sleep evaded you most nights, and you spent the darkest hours rethinking the events.
Wondering where it all went wrong. What you did wrong for him to keep seeing her. Were you bad in bed? For all his praise, had he only been lying to you?
All the questions spun in your head relentlessly. You were aware that it was toxic to think about it, but Taehyung was your first heartbreak. You didn’t really know how to act, and exhaustion was clinging to you.
It had been a week since you had left Taehyung’s place. He had watched you leave, and hadn’t Eunjin been by your side you probably would have run back to him. Instead, you had only looked at him while Eunjin had been driving away, and Taehyung’s broken eyes had made you burst out crying again.
You were glad for Eunjin. She had been picking up your pieces, slowly but surely. Spending as much time with you as she could. It made you feel weak, but this was your first broken heart. You didn’t really know how to heal it, and having your best friend by your side helped.
Especially since you didn’t have to lie to her anymore. You could tell she was disappointed, that you had kept everything silent, but still she was by your side, never pushing you to talk.
She hadn’t really needed to anyway. You had told her everything the next day, even if some parts had clearly made her uncomfortable considering Taehyung was her older brother. Even through all the wincing, she had held your hand, and when you had cried, she had dried your tears. Somehow, you hadn’t been able to talk about Sanghee though. The subject hurt too much, and you had chosen to wait. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway.
You were currently lying in bed. Eunjin was next to you, scrolling on her phone. Your own cell phone had been foreign to you since last week. Mostly because Taehyung had texted you the next day to ask when you wanted to talk. Eunjin had been the one to tell him you needed more time, and ever since then your phone had been silent.
The silence was like a colourless world. Morose, melancholic, and it made everything ache a little more. Because there were reminders of Taehyung everywhere, in this world. The perks of getting your heart broken by someone famous.
You sighed, running a hand on your face.
“Everything okay?” Eunjin quickly asked, concern laced with her voice.
Your hand stalled on your face for a few seconds before you let it slide to the bed as you nodded slightly. “Just feel lonely.”
It wasn’t your first time telling her that. “I’m right here.”
“I know.”
You let out a small bitter chuckle, because she knew just as well as you that the person you wanted to see was Taehyung, and not her. Even if you loved Eunjin deeply, she wasn’t her brother.
“Do you think I should talk to him today?” you asked, turning your head towards her.
She was already looking at you, with a somber expression on her features. “Do you feel ready to talk to him?”
All week you had told her no. But for some reason, your first instinct wasn’t to say no today. It wasn’t like you wanted to wait forever; if Taehyung had something to tell you, you wanted to hear it now. Not when talking to him would reopen the wounds.
You needed to truly put him in the past if you wanted to move on from him. A conversation would offer closure, and hopefully then it wouldn’t hurt as bad.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready”, you admitted. “I just want to get it over with.”
Eunjin’s features reminded you of Taehyung. The slight pout of her lips, her eyebrows raised just a little over her eyes… she looked a little too much like him.
It made you look away, and your gaze moved back to the ceiling.
“I get it, honestly”, Eunjin said after a few more seconds of silence. “Do you want me to text him to come over?”
“Uh”, you let out, before letting out a small laugh. “While you’re here?”
Eunjin nudged you with an elbow. “As much as I’d like to murder him, I think it’s a conversation you need to have with him alone.”
“Yeah”, you agreed. “That’s what I think too.” You paused, letting out another longing sigh. “I can text him myself though.”
Eunjin sat up, and her heavy gaze on you couldn’t be avoided anymore. “I’ll keep my phone close. If you need me, you call.”
You followed her, sitting up next to her. “I will, I promise.”
She slowly nodded, before glancing at the door of your apartment. As she remained silent, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table. It felt strange in your hands, as if thinking that you were about to text Taehyung was giving you a little life again.
It wasn’t all that much that you missed him. It was more of a relief, knowing that the pain was finally coming to an end. Or to whatever end a conversation with Taehyung could lead to.
You had talked to Jungkook’s girlfriend this week. She had been sweet and had offered to meet up for coffee sometime. You had agreed, and you were set to grab coffee with her next week. It showed you one thing: even if Taehyung might be about to get out of your life, there were still other people, new people that you would meet.
Your phone scanned your features, before opening to your home screen. You sighed, clicking on the text message app. It took everything in you to open the conversation with Taehyung, and you looked up to Eunjin as the conversation appeared on the screen.
“Gosh”, you let out.
She offered you an encouraging smile. “It’s going to be okay”, she reassured you. “Taehyung is an ass, but he’s willing to talk. That’s more than I’ve ever seen him do for someone before.”
You hated the seed of hope that it planted in you, but a foolish, stupid part of you clung to it. You needed hope after all the pain. But you tried to tame the hope, to push it away. Taehyung had been seeing someone else. All that time you had imagined to be special between the two of you, he had had someone else in his life.
You weren’t sure it was something you could ever forgive him for, but you were willing to listen to him. Maybe because you had known him for most of your life, and you owed him as much. Though you weren’t sure he deserved it, after all he had done.
His explanations needed to be good.
“Did he tell you about Sanghee?” you asked her.
You had avoided her mention ever since you had left Taehyung’s place, but you needed to know. Whatever Eunjin might tell you… because some part of you didn’t even believe Taehyung would tell you everything.
“Sanghee? He told you about her?” She looked genuinely surprised.
You shook your head no. “Not really. He just mentioned her because Jungkook’s girlfriend talked to me about her.”
“They were dating last year”, Eunjin said. “Sanghee was just in the picture for his money and fame. Taehyung broke up with her when he realized.”
“Did he tell you that he kept seeing her after that?”
Eunjin’s face was unreadable for a time. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” She looked sorry. Apologetic, at having to tell you that. Because she was your best friend: you knew she wished she could tell you that Taehyung was just rainbows and butterflies. She knew him better than anyone else though, and she wasn’t a liar.
You knew she would never lie to you.
“He told me he did”, you admitted. “That’s mostly why I ended things between us.”
It hadn’t really been the only cause. Because you still were ashamed to say you had fallen in love with him while he had only cared for you for sex. You had already told her enough about your story with Taehyung, and you didn’t want to explore it further with her.
It was something that was yours and his. You didn’t want to share it with his sister too.
“You know what?” Eunjin let out. “For someone that never dated anyone, you really know your worth.”
You furrowed your brows. “I let him string me along for months.”
Eunjin cocked her head to the side, her lips stretched in a white line. “You still ended things with him. The only other person that was able to break up with him was his first girlfriend.”
You remembered her, a little. Just that she had been in the picture. You had never really met her, but you knew losing her had broken Taehyung’s heart. It had been years ago, sometime around when you and Taehyung had stopped talking to you.
“Go me”, you said weakly, and Eunjin let out a small laugh.
“Go you”, she agreed. She threw her arms around you, hugging you tight. You hugged her back, nuzzling your face in her neck. “I still want to kill him for hurting you though.”
“I might kill him myself”, you mumbled.
She laughed again, a clear laugh that did wonders to your broken heart. “You should. Teach him a lesson. It’s time he stops being an asshole.”
You weren’t really sure you would have such an impact on Kim Taehyung. Even if you had known him before he became all that he now was, you were nothing compared to him.
You pushed the insecurity away. You weren’t nothing. You were your own person, and the fact you weren’t a celebrity like him meant nothing. In fact, you were glad for it. You didn’t envy his famous status, and the scrutiny under which he was forced to live his life. Maybe he would have turned out differently, hadn’t it been for all of that.
“Now, tell him to come over”, Eunjin said as she pulled away, still holding you by the shoulders.
You nodded, and you glanced down at your phone. The screen had turned dark, and this time when it scanned your features and opened, it opened right on the conversation with Taehyung. You quickly typed a message, something simple, because you weren’t quite convinced you would still have the courage to invite him over to talk if you wrote more than a sentence.
You watched the message go from sent to delivered, and then you met Eunjin’s gaze again. “Done.”
She smiled at you. “Good. Now I’m going to get a baseball bat in case…”
“Eunjin-ie!” you exclaimed, pushing her away. “You’re the one that told me to invite him over.”
Her smile turned devilish. “I’m just saying I really want to beat some sense into him.”
“I’ll do it myself, I told you”, you grumbled.
Before she replied, Taehyung sent a message back, saying that he was on his way. You worried at your bottom lip, putting your phone away.
“So?”
“He’s on his way”, you told Eunjin.
“Damn, this is not my brother”, she whispered. She shook her head, widening her eyes in surprise before glancing at the door.
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged sheepishly. “He doesn’t act like that with girls. And I really hope he’s not only doing this because you are my friend.”
You could imagine that he would. Family was important to Taehyung, far more than it was to most people nowadays. If talking to you could preserve his relationship with Eunjin, you were pretty sure he would. But Eunjin had been entirely loyal to you, ever since last week. She had told you she had ignored his calls, and that she would until everything was settled between the two of you. And for all her complaining, you knew Eunjin cared about Taehyung just as much as he cared about her.
No matter the outcome of your conversation today, you knew she would still remain just as close to him as she’d always been. You couldn’t blame her for it, he was her older brother after all.
Eunjin left a few minutes later. Hugging you tight to her chest, telling you once again to call or text if you needed to. You reassured her, telling her that you were strong enough to do this yourself, but as you watched her disappear, you fought an unexpected wave of tears. You blinked them away, cursing Taehyung under your breath, before moving to your couch.
Where this whole thing had started in the first place. You sighed deeply, wishing you could go back in time to erase what had happened here all those months ago. But as you waited for Taehyung, you tried to think about something else. About anything that wouldn’t make your mood fall lower than it already was. You didn’t want him to know just how bad you had been doing.
Taehyung arrived a while later. For some reason, you had expected him to get to your place in no time, but it took him almost an hour. When he knocked on your door, you paused the drama you had put on as background noise, taking a deep breath to collect the little courage that you still had.
You got up from the couch, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip as you slowly walked to the door. Slowly, because you dreaded the moment you’d open it and you’d be forced to gaze at his handsome features.
Your hand was on the knob when he knocked again, and it made you jump a little. You took another shuddering breath in, and then you turned the doorknob.
The sight of Taehyung wasn’t what you had expected it would be. His hair was ruffled, untamed, and he was plainly dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt. His eyes avoided yours, but you immediately noticed the dark circles that painted them, making him look dreadful.
Taehyung looked just as exhausted as you felt.
A little yelp attracted your attention, and your eyes fell to the floor. Yeontan was looking up at you, and as soon as you noticed him, he ran to you, begging to be picked up.
“Hey you”, you let out, surprised to see him there. You bent down, scratching the dog’s head. Knowing you couldn’t avoid it any longer, you looked up at Taehyung.
He finally met your gaze. “Hey.” His voice was small. Deep, deeper than the ocean, but it sounded empty. Void of the warmth it usually carried.
Whatever remained of your heart in your chest constricted, aching more than you had even expected it could. You had to gulp down a sudden lump in your throat, and you picked Yeontan up to busy yourself. To give yourself an excuse to look away.
“Why did you bring Yeontan?” you asked once you were standing, the leash hanging between you and him.
He shrugged. “I thought you might want to see him.”
You looked at him for a few seconds, before turning towards your apartment. “Come in.”
He followed you in, letting the leash go so he could take off his shoes. You brought Yeontan in, putting him down on the carpet next to your couch.
“Animals aren’t allowed here”, you said, and you dug your hands in the back pockets of your jeans so Taehyung wouldn’t notice they were shaking a little.
He shrugged. “If they complain I’ll buy the building.”
You cocked an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side. “That’s a bit excessive.”
He shrugged again, before walking in. He had put on the slippers you had gotten especially for him. They were BTS slippers, and you had gotten them as a joke in January.
You smiled a little at the memory, but froze as he moved closer to you.
“I don’t care.” He stopped about a meter and a half away from you, and the distance had never felt so wide. “Just a peace offering.”
You pursed your lips, slowly nodding your head. Yeontan barked, and a small smile broke on your mouth as you bent down to pet him again.
You didn’t see it, but Taehyung looked at your smile as if it was an oasis in the middle of the desert.
“You’re lucky I love him”, you said with a tiny voice.
Taehyung stayed silent, and you just played with the dog for a time. Mostly because you wanted to avoid the conversation. As much as you needed to talk to him, or to hear what he wanted to say, you also dreaded the end of whatever it was that you and Taehyung had shared.
But you couldn’t push the moment away for far longer. Soon enough, you had to stand up straight, and face whatever Taehyung had to say.
You schooled your features into neutrality, hoping he wouldn’t see the ache behind your eyes before finally straightening and meeting his gaze.
His dark gaze looked similar to what you were used to, but something was missing. The spark that it had held before was gone. It made Taehyung look infinitely sad. You hated it, and you clenched your jaw.
“Do you want to sit?” he asked.
You hadn’t expected it. You looked at your couch, remembering everything that had ever happened there. You shook the memories away, before sitting. Yeontan jumped on the floor, begging to be put on the couch too. You couldn’t help but laugh a little, before giving in to the dog’s desire. He let out a small bark, as Taehyung sat on the other extremity of the couch.
He had the ghost of a smile on his lips, and you quickly looked away at the sight of it.
You sat in silence for a while. Not knowing where to start, not wanting to be the first one to talk. You wanted him to talk first, to tell you whatever he had run out in the night to tell you the other day. But Taehyung seemed to be struggling to find words to say. You’d let him have all the time he needed before he collected his thoughts.
“How have you been doing?” he asked.
It took you by surprise, to hear him asking that first. You wet your lips, shrugging. “I don’t think you’re here to talk about that, Tae.”
He was looking at the floor, and a glance at him showed you the way his shoulders seemed to fall forward, making him look defeated. And maybe he was, after everything.
“Sorry”, he apologized. “I just… I don’t even know where to start.”
You worried at your bottom lip. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you wanted to say last week?”
He shrugged, and there was another long silence.
“Sanghee means nothing”, he finally said. “She never really did.”
You breathed in and out once, shakily. “But you never stopped seeing her.”
“It was entirely just physical. And it didn’t even happen a lot. She called sometimes and I just went because I was bored. I have and had no interest in her ever, if I’m honest.” He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I called her at the beginning of the week to end things with her. It was stupid that I was still seeing her”, he scoffed. “I hate that I had to hurt you to realize that, but she never even mattered.”
He fell silent, and you just watched his profile for a time. Yeontan had crossed the distance to Taehyung, perhaps sensing that his dad needed him.
“It just feels…” you trailed off. The beginning of the sentence had been accusative, and you took a deep breath to calm down. “It makes me feel like I wasn’t enough. Or not good enough.”
“Trust me”, Taehyung said, finally meeting your gaze. “It has nothing to do with that at all. I just…” He glanced down at your hands. You were wriggling your fingers, anxiously, and he looked so full of hate for himself for a time… It made him look ugly. “I can’t really justify my actions. Because they have no reasons. She asked and I didn’t really care so I went. But…” He paused, wetting his lips, searching your features for a few seconds. “It never felt with her the way it felt with you.”
“What is it supposed to mean?” you asked with a weak voice you wanted to hate yourself for.
He looked down at Yeontan as the little dog struggled to climb on his lap. “That if all the times with her could have been with you, then I would have had them with you.”
Your eyes were sad when he looked at you again. But they held no tears, and you weren’t sure you would be crying more tears for him. You had cried enough.
“You could have had them with me, Tae…”
He shut his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “I know. I realize that now. I just always thought… because of Eunjin I just…”
He was at a loss for words. That much was clear. And you didn’t know what to do to help him.
“Do you want a glass of water?” you asked as he searched for words.
His eyes fell open, and a crease appeared between his brows. “What?”
“Do you want a glass of water?”
He looked at you with an unreadable expression for a time. “Uh yes, please.”
You nodded, getting up from your spot on the couch to walk the short distance to the kitchen. You could feel the weight of Taehyung’s gaze on your back, but you didn’t look back. Instead, you focused on pouring the water from your water filter pitcher in a glass. Once the glass was full and you had no excuse left, you turned around and walked back towards Taehyung.
He looked at a random spot on your wrist as you handed him the glass. He carefully took it, and your fingers touched for a moment. You hated that it made you want to reach out and grab his hand.
He said your name, his voice barely even audible to you. “Thank you.”
You nodded your head, offering him a small smile, before you moved back to your own spot on the couch. You settled yourself comfortably, sitting angled towards Taehyung. He noticed, and he also turned his chest towards you, resting his shoulder against the couch before taking a long sip of water.
“I thought that because of Eunjin, you would never really be interested in me”, he said once he had swallowed. “And I fully understand how stupid that is, I was an oblivious ass. Or maybe it was me and I didn’t want to think about anything more happening between us…” He trailed off, and he let out a little broken chuckle that made every inch of your body ache. “But the day of my birthday. Fuck, I wanted to hate you after. But I couldn’t and I kept coming back.”
“What?” you let out.
He wet his lips, and he searched your features for a couple of seconds. “You know, when I was younger, I always imagined myself getting married. And now, when I look at myself in the future, I see myself with someone like you. Someone that knows me from before, someone that cares for me for the person that I was back then. I think that’s why I was attracted to you in the first place.”
You were stunned for a moment, unexpecting the words that were spilling from his mouth now. And he didn’t seem like he could stop anymore, as if the glass of water had helped him to finally find the words he had been wanting to say earlier.
He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Scratch that”, he added. “I don’t see myself with someone like you. I see myself with you. With you by my side, raising my children with me. I think you’re the only one that can understand why I want five children. Because there was the five of us growing up and it was perfect. You’re the only one that I can imagine sharing my life with that way.”
“Tae”, you let out. “You can’t just say all of that.”
It stopped the words falling from his mouth. Yet his lips remained parted, and you could almost hear the echo of his voice in your skull.
He was pale. He had been pale last week, but he looked even worse today. As if he hadn’t seen the sun in a while, and hadn’t eaten well since then either. He looked crestfallen, and all the fight that you had seen in him for the last few minutes drained out of him, leaving but an empty husk of him behind.
“I was falling for you”, you said carefully. “I fell for you once when we were younger, and then all these months… it was like my teenage dreams coming to reality. And it makes me uncomfortable that all along there was someone else…” You pursed your lips, searching for words, a little like he had been a moment ago. “Was there anyone else, other than Sanghee?”
You hadn’t expected the question. Clearly he hadn’t either, because his eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. “Never. Not even once. And you have to trust me, Sanghee means nothing to me. It really was just physical. Maybe I agreed to meet with her because I kept telling myself I couldn’t be with you. Because of Eunjin, and because of who we were to each other.”
Somehow it really didn’t make you feel better. But at the same time… he wanted to be with you. He imagined himself with you in the future, like you had been imagining yourself with him. Even if you refused to admit it to yourself, you had chosen Taehyung because, to you, there was never going to be someone else than him. It had been him once, and it would always be him.
You were weak for Kim Taehyung. Had been before you had even known what it meant.
“Where does that put us though?” you questioned. “You were acting weird with me, Tae. All these months. I never could have imagined there was someone else.”
“I know.” The look of defeat on him only worsened. “I can’t show you how I was with her because I’d never treat you like that.” He scoffed. “You could talk to Jungkook. I think it’s the first time in my life he actually was angry at me. But his girlfriend… She really likes you. She told me I was a disgusting prick and that I didn’t deserve you. She said I was stringing you along…” There was silver lining his gaze now. “I never meant to string you along. I didn’t realize that I was stringing you along until I understood how oblivious I’ve been.”
You would need to tell the girl you loved her. As soon as you could. Because having her stick up for you meant more than you could ever say.
“I wasn’t all that better”, you said.
It was true. You also had avoided talking to him about how you felt. Had avoided even thinking about it as much as you could. Funnily enough, it had never been about Eunjin to you. But you could understand why it had been that way to him. Eunjin was his little sister, someone he had taken care of. He would have never done anything that could put a wedge in his relationship with her.
Except he had, and that thing was you.
“I didn’t talk to you either”, you said. “I mean.” You let out a small anxious laugh. “I didn’t want to talk to you about how I felt, because I refused to even admit it to myself. But at Jimin’s dinner, I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. The more you showed me affection, the more I felt myself sinking.”
You fell silent and he just observed you for a time, with that deep dark gaze of his.
“I can’t really blame you”, he finally said. “Yes, I could see that we both have faults in this. But…” He slowly shook his head again. “Princess, I was using you.”
“Were you?” you enquired, and your heart beat quicker in your chest. “Were you using me, Tae?”
There really were tears in his eyes. It made his gaze dim, with sadness and melancholy. “No. I wanted to see you. If I used someone, it was Sanghee. Never you. I actually enjoyed spending time with you. You remind me of a simpler time.” He wet his lips. “I really like the time we spent together.”
“I liked it too.” You could admit that.
He held your gaze. “I am so sorry.”
He truly looked sorry. In all truth, he looked like a beaten puppy. Even with Yeontan cuddling by his side, Taehyung looked like a little lost boy. He was clutching the glass of water – he had only drunk a couple of sips, and the glass was still half full. You wanted to reach between you, to run a hand through his hair soothingly…
“What for?” you asked.
He laughed bitterly. “For everything. I was everything I don’t like about me with you. And I regret it.”
Could you forgive him? You really wanted to. You wanted to forget everything had happened, but you didn’t think you had it in you.
You still were aching, imagining him in the arms of someone else.
The silence stretched between you. You didn’t know what to say, and clearly he had told you everything. He sighed, and it left his nose shakily, as if he was on the verge of breaking. Yet you could tell he already had broken, much like you had.
It was surprising to think that you had broken Kim Taehyung too. Or maybe he had done that all by myself, breaking his heart as he tore yours from your chest.
“It’s okay”, you let out. “Thank you for telling me.”
There was a dismissal in your words. He heard it just as clear as you did. He ran a shaky hand on Yeontan, who let out a small sad sound.
“Thank you for listening.” He shut his eyes once more, the perfect picture of the fallen angel. You had thought him to be a devil once. You now knew that devils ached too. Had fallen just like everyone else. “You know”, he said, and his deep voice sounded oh so tired. “Watching you walk away the other day… it felt like I was dying. It made me realize that I care for you far more than I wanted to admit it to myself. And I’m aware that I took you for granted. I won’t ask you to be mine, because it feels unfair after what happened. I just…”
He trailed off, and his gaze met yours again. He wanted you to read the words in his eyes, but you needed to hear them.
“You just what?”
“I just want you to know that, wherever you go in this world, I will always be loving you.”
A tear slipped on your cheek, free falling, the same way you were free falling. Heading straight to the ground, yet…
Yet you didn’t reach it this time.
“Tae…”
“I’m crazy for you.” He said it like he had a hard time believing it himself. “I really am. I’m sorry I fucked everything up.”
You let his words sink in for a time. It wasn’t his first time telling you he was crazy for you. He had said so, on his birthday, when he had come to talk to you in his father’s office. You hadn’t thought his words had meant more than his sexual attraction to you. But you saw it in his eyes now. You saw the way they shone in the light. With emotion and intensity and regret. So much regret.
“Tae”, you repeated. “Do you…” You searched for the right words for a time. “Do you really think all of that?”
“Yes”, he said without a beat of silence. “It took me losing you to realize it. But yes, you matter to me. A hell of a lot.”
You tilted your head to the side. “You like me?”
He looked infinitely confused, with a crease between his perfect eyebrows, and a strand of hair falling in his eyes. “I just told you I’m in love with you?”
“Say it again.”
He understood. Quite at the same time as you did.
You weren’t going to let him go. You couldn’t let him go.
“Y/n…”
“Say it again.”
“I love you, princess”, he said, and he let out a small chuckle. A tear escaped the jail of his eyelids, rolling on his cheek until it fell on Yeontan’s head.
You folded your arms on your chest, then thought better of it and you hid your face in your hands, as a small broken sob shook your frame.
“No”, Taehyung let out.
It took a few seconds, but then he was taking you in his arms, crushing you against his chest. You laughed, sadly, as tears just cascaded on your cheeks. Taehyung was shaking, as if he was cold, and you let go of your face, only to bury it in his neck. You wrapped your arms around his waist, and one of his hands found its way to your hair. He massaged your scalp gently and you let him hold you. Let him comfort you. Because you wanted Taehyung to comfort you. You wanted to be with him.
But he couldn’t be with someone else at the same time.
“Tae”, you said against his neck.
He held you tighter. “Princess…”
“You can’t see someone else.”
He let out a small broken sound. “As if I’d ever want someone else than you, fuck.”
It was your turn to hold him tighter. Until Yeontan barked, and the two of you started laughing. You pulled away, trying to reach for the dog. But Taehyung was holding your shoulders, and a second later his hands moved to your cheeks. He dried your tears, and then pulled you in.
You let out a small, surprised sound as his lips found yours. But they were just as soft as you remembered, and you immediately melted into his touch. You kissed him back, with all the hurt that you had been carrying over the last week. Until Yeontan barked again, demanding attention.
“Wait, wait”, Taehyung said, pulling away from you. “Yeontan.” He used a firm authoritative voice, yet it only seemed to make his dog go crazy even more. Taehyung let out a long sigh and was about to turn towards his dog when you ran a hand through his untamed hair.
“You look like shit”, you said, and new tears rolled on your cheeks.
His eyes widened in fake offence. “Excuse me?”
“You haven’t slept and your hair is all a mess”, you tried to explain. “I’m so sorry I made you wait for a week.”
“Hey hey hey”, he said with a soothing voice, grabbing your wrists as you were once again going to run your hands through his hair in a hopeless attempt to tame the wild strands. “I would have waited for a lot longer if it was what you would have needed. It’s okay.”
Yeontan barked again.
“Let me just…” he trailed off, letting go of your wrists so he could grab his dog. “What’s wrong?”
Yeontan just looked at him with an innocent look on his face.
“I think he’s jealous.”
“Well, let me put him in your bathroom real quick”, Taehyung said with his classic small pout.
You loved when he looked at you like that. You watched him get up and move to the bathroom, while he murmured soothing words to his dog. Yeontan let out a single bark when Taehyung closed the door behind him, but then he fell silent.
You were thankful for it, because the look on Taehyung’s face had entirely changed once he settled his gaze on you again. You gulped as he walked back towards you.
He was yours. Kim Taehyung was yours. And it was true. The part he had mentioned about children. You understood why he wanted five kids. You wanted five of them yourself, just to offer them the childhood that you had yourself lived. You hadn’t told him earlier, but the urge to do so now was stronger than you.
“Tae”, you said as he sat back next to you.
“Mmh?”
You turned, facing him with your whole body. “I want to have children with you too. You’re the only person I could imagine a future like that with. I think that’s why I asked you, when I was drunk at Eunjin’s party.”
A small smirk had moved on his lips, and it gave colour to his cheeks again. To the whole world around him too, and your heart rate increased in your chest.
“Well then we better get started, mmh?”
Your mouth fell open. “Now?”
He shrugged, before leaning down to peck your lips. “Whenever you want, princess.”
“I’m on the pill so it can’t be right now. And I have my job so we would need to plan a little more but…”
Taehyung crashed his lips on yours, interrupting your rambling and you kissed him back, grabbing his cheeks to hold him close. He kissed you hungrily, passionately, with that same fire you had gotten used to with him. Only this time, the fire didn’t burn. It was like the fire a hearth held in the winter. It was welcoming, warm and made a home a home.
Taehyung was your home. He always had been.
Your tongue swiped at his bottom lip, asking for more, and soon enough he met it with his own. You sighed in his mouth, climbing on his lap as he pulled you, holding your waist firmly. As if he was afraid you’d go.
You wouldn’t be stupid enough to go again.
You moved from his mouth to his neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the warm skin. Wet kisses, and you sucked on his skin as you moved lower, where the collar of his shirt hid the rest of his body from you.
“Princess…” he breathed, and it almost sounded like a moan.
You sucked on the skin again, before moving up to his lips. Capturing them in another wild kiss, as Taehyung’s hands slid from your waist to your ass.
“Do you know how much I love it when you call me ‘princess’?” you asked him as you pulled away.
He was looking at you through half-lidded eyes, and you could see the lust burning in his gaze. A fire that was about to consume the two of you.
You had stopped caring when he had told you he loved you.
“I know”, he said, and a smirk moved on his glossy lips. “I know what my princess likes.”
You bit your tongue to refrain from moaning. Because he had grinded up as he had said the words, and the prominent bulge in his pants brushed against your clit.
“Tae…”
There was a moment where you just stared at each other. Gazed at each other, with longing and lust and love. Because there was love between the two of you, even if you had tried to ignore it for all those months.
“Y/n…”
You pecked his lips once, and the hands that had been holding you up on his shoulders slid down his frame, until you reached the hem of his shirt. With no hesitation, you pulled it up his torso, and Taehyung pushed up from the couch so he could help you get the shirt off. Once his honey skin was free from the fabric, you ran your hands down his frame again, enjoying the hard planes of his perfect body. He watched you as you did so, his large hands having found your ass once more.
He squeezed your ass as your fingers glided over his ribs. “That tickles.”
You let out a small feminine laugh. The laugh only he had been able to bring out of you. “Sorry.”
You dove in once again, kissing him slow and deep, with your tongues meeting halfway. You sucked on his, and he grunted in your mouth, before letting his hands wander up and under your shirt. He pulled it up your frame, and you pulled away just long enough for him to take it off you before crashing your lips on his again.
His skilled fingers reached to your back untying your bra, but before he had been able to pull the fabric off your body, your phone rang.
You both turned your head to the device. It was face down on your bed, where you had left it earlier as you had been waiting for Taehyung.
“Do you want to get that?” he asked, right as he took off your bra.
You hesitated a few seconds, before getting up. “It’s probably your sister checking up on me.”
You crossed the distance to your bed, climbing the small flight of stairs that led to it. You sat on the mattress, letting out a small laugh as your eyes fell to your naked breasts. Your nipples were perked up, and you didn’t need to look at Taehyung to know what he was looking at.
You grabbed your phone, turning it at the same time as it stopped ringing. It was a missed call from Eunjin. A slight blush crept on your cheeks, and you quickly opened the phone so you could text her that you were okay.
Her reply came in before you had time to put the phone aside.
Does this mean you’re going to fuck my brother again?
Your cheeks were burning red when you looked up towards Taehyung. “Gosh.”
He smiled. “Eunjin?”
You nodded. “Let me just…” you trailed off as you texted your best friend that she was disgusting, adding three little dots and the winking emoji. You then shut your phone off, until only a black screen was staring up at you, before you looked at Taehyung again.
“She will probably kill me”, he said.
“She can try”, you replied from your spot on the bed. You put your phone on your bedside table, before moving until you were lying on your side, looking at Taehyung. “Why don’t you come here?”
The smirk on his lips made heat pool at your core as he moved towards you. Ever so slowly, with that same predator gait that made your blood boil inside. You bit your lip, holding in your own smirk.
Taehyung stopped next to your mattress. He undid his belt, slowly, and you shamelessly looked down as he let his pants fall around his ankles. The imprint of his dick in his pale underwear had you salivating, especially as your eyes followed it to the tip, where a wet spot indicated that precum had already leaked from his dick.
“You’re already hard for me”, you praised.
He palmed himself through his boxer briefs, cocking his head to the side. “My princess likes me hard, doesn’t she?”
You sat up, before moving to a kneeling position beside him. Because of your mattress, your mouth was at a level with his stomach instead of his dick, so you pressed a kiss under his belly button, before sucking the skin in. Totally aiming to leave a love bite there.
He hissed, one of his large hands moving in your hair so he could hold it like a ponytail. “You’re going to be a good girl and suck my dick, mmh?”
You kissed the tip of his dick, licking your lips chasing the salty taste of him. “Will you be a good boy and fuck me after?”
He let out a small laugh. “Dominant might look good on you.”
You bit into the side of his dick, softly. “Would it?” You moved to the tip, licking it. “I wonder what you would look like with me whipping you?”
His eyes went ten shades darker. “We’ll have to try.”
He grunted as you sucked him through the brief, and your saliva added a bigger spot where the precum already was. Taehyung seemed to grow tired of your teasing, because he pulled on your hair, long enough so he could pull his briefs down. His dick sprung free, and you let out a small breathy sound.
“You’re so thirsty for my dick, mmh?” Taehyung said. “You’re going to be a good girl and milk it for me now.”
You whined a little, because he was still pulling on your hair. He loosened the grip, and you immediately moved forward… only you avoided his dick, and you planted an open-mouthed kiss on the base of it. Looking up at Taehyung, holding his gaze as his cock stood hard next to your face.
“Fucking tease.” Taehyung looked angry, somehow. The cursing turned you on, and you sucked on the base of his dick, as you wrapped a hand around his length. Slowly jerking him off, never breaking eye contact. “Suck me, princess.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, but you finally gave in to his desires, pulling away just enough so you could wrap your lips around the head of his dick. You sucked on it, hollowing your cheeks as you swirled your tongue on his frenulum. A satisfied smirk appeared on his lips, and it only encouraged you to take him in your mouth, going as far as you could without choking.
“Good girl”, he praised, eyes never blinking. No, he was drinking in the sight of you, and you could tell he needed more. But you wanted him too, so you obeyed. Shutting your eyes to focus on sucking him, using your tongue to pleasure him in time with your hand as you jerked off what didn’t fit in your mouth.
Taehyung grunted, hips bucking forward just a little, but you could tell he was restraining himself. He didn’t want to fuck your mouth. Probably because he wanted to fuck your pussy all night and needed all his energy for that. The thought made you moan around the length of his dick, and he grunted louder this time.
“Fuck.”
You moaned again, swallowing around his dick as you took it as deep as you could. This time, you choked around him, and tears formed behind your closed eyelids. He pulled on your hair, until your mouth was free of his dick.
“Princess.”
You opened your eyes, looking up at him as you kept slowly jerking him off.
“I can’t believe the only dick you’ve sucked is mine, you’re so good.”
The praise made you moan, and Taehyung pulled your hand away from his cock. You offered him a confused look, but he kneeled in front of you, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.
His hands were everywhere: on your sides, on your back, in your hair. They moved to the front of your body, grabbing your breasts, pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He pinched hard, enough to hurt, but it only made you soak your panties even more.
Taehyung knew you liked a little pain. And he knew just how to hurt you to please you.
He pulled away from the kiss, replacing one hand with his mouth. He sucked on your nipple, worshipping it with his tongue as you moaned, arching your back and losing your hands in his hair. He nibbled at the sensitive bud and you shook in his hold, pleasure already building up inside of you. He chose that moment to let the other hand wander down your body, and he struggled with the button of your pants for a few seconds before it came undone, letting him dive his hand in, until he was cupping your pussy.
“You’re dripping wet, aren’t you?” he said, pulling away from your breast long enough to meet your gaze. “You’re going to come in no time.”
As if he wanted to prove his words, he sucked on your nipple again, using his teeth just enough to cause that blissful pain you had grown accustomed to. You moaned as he started pressing circles on your clit, through the fabric of your panties. You grinded in his hand, and sure enough there already was an orgasm bubbling on the horizon of your conscience. It came to you fast, and right before it hit you, Taehyung pulled away, stopping his ministrations on your nipple and your clit.
You let out a pained whine at the denied orgasm, and your hand reached towards your clit in the hope that you could still hit your high. Taehyung stopped you, grabbing your wrists until you stopped resisting him.
“You’re going to come only when I tell you to come, alright?”
His baritone voice was even lower than it usually was. Filled with danger, and you nodded your head. You wanted to be a good girl for him, because you knew he always rewarded you with the best orgasms when you were.
You nodded. “Alright.”
“On your back”, he said, your favourite smirk back on his lips.
You obeyed, eyes never leaving his dark gaze. The fallen angel through and through, about to use your body for his sins.
You’d let him use your body for his sins for the rest of your life. He must have noticed the emotion move over your face, because he climbed on top of you, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. Your eyes fluttered shut, and he pressed a kiss on your two cheeks before landing one on your lips. You kissed him back, sighing against him as he grabbed your wrists gently, pulling them over your head.
“No touching, mmh?”
He had barely pulled away, and you kept your eyes closed as you replied. “You should tie me up.”
“Don’t be a brat today, princess”, he warned. “I just want to enjoy you, I don’t want to have to punish you.”
You gulped, before slowly nodding your head. “I won’t touch you.”
“Good girl.”
He moved down your body, and your eyes fluttered open to look at him. He took off your pants, bringing your underwear down at the same time. His eyes were staring right at your pussy, and had you not known any better, you would have closed your thighs to hide yourself from his view. But clearly Taehyung was in a mood, and you didn’t want to anger him.
The denied orgasm still hurt deep down in your core.
You had expected Taehyung to eat you out. And he almost did, blowing a breath on your pussy, but he kneeled between your legs instead, letting his cock rest on your pubis.
“I almost want to fuck you like that”, he let out. “You’d be so fucking tight.”
But it’d hurt. That much you knew. And you also knew Taehyung would never hurt you like that. Still, your eyes fluttered shut as he moved back, just enough for his dick to move towards your entrance.
“And you’d let me do it, wouldn’t you?”
You would. “Yes”, you breathed, because you knew he liked it when you were vocal.
“Good girl.” He ran his hands on your thighs, pulling your legs up until he had them rested on one of his shoulders. “I’ll still finger you first.”
He had barely said the words before two long digits slipped inside of you. You let out a moan as he immediately curled them to hit the spot inside of you that made you see stars. And he fingered you relentlessly, and hard, until you were a moaning mess under his skilled fingers.
“You can’t come yet, mmh?” he let out as your walls clenched around him. “Wait until I tell you, princess.”
“Tae”, you moaned, and your eyes fluttered open.
He smirked at you. “Hi there.”
“I want to come”, you complained.
He pressed a kiss on the side of one of your legs. “You can wait just a little longer for me, mmh?” He landed another kiss on your calf. “I want you to come around my dick.”
The orgasm was close, clinging to you, making you ache from head to toe. You held it in, focusing on the strands of hair in front of his eyes. It moved as he fingered you, and he had to blink to keep it from touching his eyes. But he wasn’t slowing down, pushing against your g-spot until your legs shook on his shoulder.
“Do you think you can take me now?” he asked.
“Yes, Tae”, you said breathlessly. “Please.”
His finger left you empty, only to move up to your clit. He started drawing circles on it again, and you shuddered as he pushed his dick against your lips. He had barely pushed the head in when you let out a small cry.
“Just a little longer, princess”, he told you, with his baritone voice. It was soothing, somehow, but all your mind could do was focus on where he was stretching you wide open.
He slowly bottomed out, and it did hurt a little. Indeed, you were tight against him, tighter than you usually were. Because he usually took his time to spread you open before fucking his dick into you.
But he hadn’t been able to wait tonight, had he? You could understand why: he thought he had lost you. And you knew what that could do to a man. Fear was an ugly emotion, but it wasn’t really the time to think about that though.
“Tae, it hurts”, you whined.
He stopped moving his fingers on your clit, and you whined even louder. “You want to come?”
You nodded. “Yes.” There were tears in your eyes, from all the denying of your orgasm. You blinked them away frustratedly.
“Have I made you wait long enough?” he asked, and he started pulling out, ever so slowly.
“Fuck, Tae.”
“Such a pretty princess”, he praised. “You will come for me now, mmh?”
You moaned as he started moving his fingers on your clit again, with the perfect pressure. Your eyes fell shut, and your orgasm hit you as he thrusted all the way in again.
It was one of the best orgasms of your life. Blinding, deafening, muting. It took away all of your senses, and the only thing you could feel was the place where your bodies were connected. It was his fingers on you, and his dick inside of you. It was the clenching of your walls around his length, in time with every wave of your orgasm. And he worked you through it, never slowing down. Giving you what you had been denied for too long. He milked every last drop of it, and you were pretty sure you had squirted at the same time from the squelching sounds your pussy made as he kept fucking into you, slowly.
“Fuck”, you let out as his fingers finally left your clit.
“That felt good?”
A small laugh fell from your lips. “Fuck.”
It wasn’t just good. It was pure ecstasy, a drug that had ignited every single nerve ending in your body. All your senses came rushing back to you, and your eyes fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung gazing at you lovingly.
“You’re so beautiful when you come”, he said. He was hugging your legs to his chest, still fucking into you slowly.
“Tae…”
“I want to see you come every day”, he continued, ignoring the loving plea in your voice. “I want to feel you come every day.”
“You’re crazy”, you said, letting out another small laugh.
“Crazy for you”, he agreed.
And then he was fucking you again, chasing his own high. Holding your legs to hit that sensitive spot inside of you, until he chose to lean on top of you, kissing you as he slowed the rhythm. He made love to you for a while, your lips never parting for longer than a few seconds. Just long enough to suck in a much-needed breath, before he was kissing you again.
Taehyung hit his high a while later. While you were digging your nails in the skin of his back in an attempt to pull him closer. You wanted him closer, even if he was buried deep inside of you, reaching spots inside of you you didn’t even think he had reached before.
Taehyung painted the walls of your pussy white as he came, grunting against your lips as you kissed him through his orgasm. You were pretty sure he was whispering your name as he shook with the waves of his own high, and you only held him tighter, until he stopped moving altogether.
You remained unmoving for a time, save for the kiss that you didn’t want to let end. You wanted to kiss him until you would die, and he gave in. Kissed you back, poured his love for you in the muscles of his mouth. You ran a hand along his back, through his soft hair, before settling your arms around his neck.
“I love you”, you whispered as he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours.
He pecked your lips. “I love you too.” He went soft inside of you, yet he still didn’t pull out.
You only then realized that Yeontan was barking like crazy. “We should take care of your dog.”
Taehyung hid his face in your neck. “I don’t want to move.”
You laughed, hugging him close, even though he was crushing you a little. “I don’t want to be evicted.”
He raised his head to look at you. You read the words in his eyes before he even said them.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I won’t move in with you.”
He pouted, that same begging pout that could win wars for him. “Please?”
You couldn’t say no to him, could you?
“You really are crazy, aren’t you?”
He pecked your forehead. “How many times do I need to tell you that I’m crazy for you?”
*****
One year later
You looked at the pregnancy test in your lap. Though happy tears had been blurring your vision, there was no mistaking: you were pregnant.
You could hear Taehyung gaming from the bathroom, unaware that your lives were about to change. Unaware that in just under nine months you would welcome your first child. You had been trying for a couple of weeks now – now that you had finally decided to quit your job to raise your kids at home. Not that you had quit yet, you had decided to wait until you were married and pregnant before you did.
It seemed life had chosen for it to come sooner than later.
You blinked the tears away, letting out a small happy laugh. You imagined the child: would they look like Taehyung, with one double lid and a mono lid, or would they have your features? And their hands: their fingers would be so small, almost as tiny as grains of rice.
You couldn’t wait until you could hold those little hands in your own. For the moment, all you could do was land a hand on your lower stomach, stroking it gently. The next few weeks would be uncertain. You knew there was a possibility you would lose the baby, but something about the feeling bubbling in your chest reassured you.
There was a little bit of you and Taehyung, growing inside of you right now.
A happy tear rolled on your cheek and you wiped it with the back of your hand as you heard Taehyung cheer in his gaming room. He was playing Overwatch with Jungkook, and from what you could tell, they had just won a game.
You got up from the toilet seat, where you had anxiously waited for the results of the pregnancy test. It was your third time doing one, but the first time you had ever seen it positive. You clutched it to your chest, following Taehyung’s cheery voice as you made your way to his gaming room.
“We annihilated them”, Taehyung was saying. “Bro, I swear we could start a team.”
There was silence for a while, during which you assumed Jungkook was replying on his side of the call.
“I’m sure Jin-hyung would join.” It took a moment, but Taehyung burst out laughing, and the sound of his laugh brought a whole new grin to your lips.
He came to view, sitting in front of his gaming set-up. The only light in the room was coming from the two screens of his set-up, and he turned his head towards you as you walked into the room. Light flickered on his profile, and his mouth fell open as he noticed your teary-eyed smile.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
You let out a small happy sob.
“JK, I’ll be right back.”
He took off his headset, putting it down next to his keyboard before rolling away from the desk.
“Hey, princess, why are you crying?” he enquired as you remained silent.
You finished crossing the distance between you, handing him the pregnancy test. It took him a moment to connect the dots. But you had never seen anything as beautiful as Taehyung when he realized he was going to be a dad.
“You’re shitting me?” he said, eyes filling with tears.
You started crying again, shaking your head no. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re pregnant?” His voice broke at the end, right as a blinding boxy grin split his face in half.
You nodded, and Taehyung jumped out of his chair to wrap his arm around you. He laughed and cried, and you held him close as you did the same. You didn’t think it was possible, but your love for him grew tenfold.
You were going to have a child. A little bit of the two of you.
“I can’t believe it”, he choked out through sobs. “We’re going to have a baby.”
You nodded again. “Our first one.”
“We need to get married”, he pointed out, pulling away from your embrace to look at your face.
You reached to dry the happy tears on his cheeks. “Should we get married before we tell the family?”
“I don’t know. Eunjin is going to be so happy”, Taehyung pointed out. “Your parents might be worried since we aren’t married though.”
You looked at him pointedly. “My parents adore you, they won’t give a shit.”
“Do you want to get married right now?” he asked.
“Tonight?”
He let out a small laugh. “Tomorrow, I don’t care.”
“Didn’t we just say we could wait?”
Taehyung picked you up and spun you around once, before letting your feet meet the ground again. “I want to marry you.”
You laughed through the new wave of tears. “We can marry when the baby is born.”
His eyes widened. “We’re going to have a baby”, he repeated, tasting the words carefully on his tongue. “A little boy!”
You furrowed your brows. “Why not a little girl?”
“I want a boy first.”
“I want a girl.”
“You say that just to oppose me.”
He wasn’t wrong, and you shrugged sheepishly, letting out another laugh.
“I fucking love you, you know that?” He pressed a kiss to your lips as if to give emphasis to his words. You kissed him back, but he pulled away after a few seconds. “I need to tell JK.”
“You didn’t mute yourself.”
He hadn’t had time to. You were pretty sure you could hear Jungkook screaming on his side of the Discord call.
“Aish”, Taehyung let out, and you shared a laugh as he moved towards his set-up. He grabbed the headset, putting it over his head. “Shut up, JK, I’m back.”
Taehyung nodded, as if his friend could see him.
“Yes.” He waited for a time, then nodded again. “Let me give the headset to her, I’m pretty sure she can answer herself.”
Taehyung took it off, handing it to you. You cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but still walked towards him, grabbing the headset and putting it on.
“What’s up?” you asked.
“Can I be the godfather?” Jungkook asked – or rather screamed – through his mic.
You winced at how loud Taehyung’s friend was. “Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure my ears are bleeding now.”
“Can I?” Jungkook asked again, with a little voice that resembled that of a child himself.
“That’s a lot of responsibility”, you pointed out.
There was shuffling on Jungkook’s side, and then his girlfriend started talking. “Y/n, I swear to God if you say no to him I am going to tattoo you in your sleep.”
“You wouldn’t dare”, you said, pouting, but you already had a smile on your lips.
Taehyung and you had decided a while ago who were going to be the godparents. Eunjin and Jungkook. It was the easiest choice you had made about deciding to have a child together.
“Give me Jungkook back”, you told your friend.
She let out an excited yelp. “Hold on.”
It took a few seconds, but then Jungkook’s voice filled your ears again. “So?”
“Yes, you’re going to be the godfather, dumbass.”
Taehyung was smiling lovingly at you. He wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his head on your shoulder. You turned to look at him, offering him a lovesick smile.
“Thank you thank you thank you”, Jungkook kept repeating in his mic. “I promise I’ll be the…“ His words were cut off. “Ouch, that hurt.”
You heard his girlfriend’s iconic laugh and your smile only grew bigger.
You loved these people far too much for your own good.
“But JK?” you said as you listened to him bickering with his girlfriend.
The bickering ended, and he let out an, “Uh?”
“Please don’t tell the others for now. Just in case something happens.”
“I promise”, Jungkook said, voice filled with emotions. “Our lips are sealed.”
You smiled and then took off the headset. You handed it to Taehyung, and he took it with his bright, teary eyes. He put it back on, before sitting in his chair. He and Jungkook chatted for a while, and you sat on Taehyung, resting your head against his chest. You listened to his heartbeat as he ran a hand on your back, the other having found a home on your lower stomach.
As if he’d feel the baby kicking already.
Taehyung’s heartbeat was steady. A rhythm you had grown to know by heart, a melody that accompanied the nights when you couldn’t sleep. Your lips stretched into a smile at the thought that many sleepless nights were to come. But you could take a thousand of them if it meant building a family with Taehyung.
After all, you had always been crazy for him too.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
So, what do we think? One hell of a journey isn’t it? I hope you enjoyed it <3
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until forever falls apart | 01.
pairing: kim taehyung, reader
genre: angst, exes au.
warnings: emotional cheating, infidelity, swearing, detailed smut, chain smoking as a coping mechanism.
word count: 11.8k
description: you’ve never been much of a believer in the phrase ‘first love never dies’ but it seems as if the universe badly wants to prove it to you — and you’re absolutely and royally damned the moment you find out that the phrase holds truth.
or alternatively, you come as a stand-in photographer for your cousin’s prenup shoot and you find out that it’s your secret ex who’s about to get married, and kim taehyung really doesn’t make it any less easy for you.
01 | ongoing.
Love has always been easy for you — both falling into or getting out of it, but more of the latter, really.
However, there are things about this so-called ‘love’ that you don’t quite get — will probably never get — and it leaves you in a sticky position when friends come to ask advice that roots from such a concept.
It always ends in a snotty mess and a sigh of I don’t know why I came to you for this at the end anyway. It makes you feel like shit; a clueless, ignorant, wondering piece of shit because how is it that everyone seems to have been looking at love and defining it from a single different lens with a unified perspective, and you’re stuck at seeing it from the other endpoint.
It isn’t your fault you don’t assimilate hurt with loving, is it? It isn’t your fault that you don’t expect to clean up a colossal mess every time love comes to its end. And it most certainly isn’t your fault that when love ends, you let it go. It ended, and that’s that. For you, anyway. So, why exactly, do people fault you for having such a reaction at the conclusion of a relationship?
Why does it seem to be a taboo and something that’s unheard of when a month after a relationship ends, you find yourself not grieving over a love that’s lost? When and why does it seem to have become the standard to mope and pine and cry as if acceptance and moving on is an outlawed concept right after a relationship ends?
That’s because you’re a heartless, unfeeling bastard, that’s why, as your best friend, Jungkook, so likes to put it every single time. And maybe, it is the defeat and the eventual acceptance that people will never see things in your perspective that you just roll your eyes and move on with your day.
Love, for you, is something that ends when it ends. A wound that closes, heals. It leaves a scar, sure. You remember the hurt, yes. But the initial peak of pain wouldn’t be there again if it healed, would it.
With all that, you’ve become unsure — of what to do, of what to say, of how to act — when people lament over a lost love. Which, at this very moment, is what exactly your sister is doing.
All tears, snot, and hiccups under your blankets.
Sobs wrack her body in an uncontrollable shake, a vibrating mess under the sheets as you’re left to wonder what the fuck to do with your hands. But you never get the answer because she wails, head lifting from the blankets, “How could he do that to me? Six years, six years! Six years he threw away for what, a year of meaningless sex with his assistant?”
You don’t really think it’s meaningless when dear, dear respectable Hyunwoo decides to break off the engagement, but you keep your mouth shut and continue to awkwardly pat your sister’s back.
Your hand stills just an inch away from her back when she looks at you, wet eyes and mouth set in a downward curve, and whispers, “What should I do now?” She sniffles and you flinch. Because her goddamn snot is staining your bed but fuck, okay, you can’t think about that now, “I love him.”
You hesitate, weighing the words you’re about to speak in your head and thinking about the consequences before settling for a question, “You–you’re not thinking about giving him another shot if he asks for it, are you?”
At this, your sister remains silent and you sigh because yes, yes she will give him a chance in one heartbeat if the bastard do so much as give her a fucking petal and a printed ‘I’m sorry’ hallmark note.
“You don’t get it.”
Ah, there it is.
Of course, it’s always going to come down to you not getting it.
Maybe your sister sees it, the anger bubbling in your gaze as you glare at her, because she scrambles to sit down with her legs underneath her, knees parallel each other as she kneels on the bed facing you.
And it would have been funny, seeing your older sister like this, but the searing exasperation breaks through and you let it, mouth opening, “No, you don’t get it. See, this is not just a matter of moving the fuck on. He fucked you over, Hana, so much that there’s no amount of apology or groveling he can do to fix that. He fucked his assistant when he’s due to walk down the aisle in a year with you and if that doesn’t spell out how much respect he has for you, for our family, and you still choose to remain blind despite that, then you came to the wrong person because I won’t coddle you.”
“I care about you,” your voice softens and you see her shoulders slump, “This is not just about my once-it-ends-then-it-ends view on relationships. Hyunwoo did an unthinkable, unforgivable thing and there’s no going back from that. I’m not letting you walk back to the person who lacks respect for a relationship, much less for you. Do you get where I’m coming from?”
Hana nods meekly, head hanging low before you hear her sniffle once more. It hurts to see her like this and you want nothing more but to pummel the son of a bitch who did this to her, “I’m sorry.”
You shake your head and you let out a breath, all air knocked out from your lungs when she slumps forward, arms snaking around your shoulders as she pulls you in for a tight hug, the phrase of ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ a litany on her tongue. You squeak as her legs slither their way around you in a tight grip and she lets out a weak laugh that sounded much more like a wheeze before you push her off, feeling a wet blot on your shoulder.
“I want to be you for a day. Not like you,” she mutters as she gets comfortable on the pillows, your pillows, “But be you entirely. I want this pain to vanish in a week and just forget about him.”
She pauses, “Maybe after I key his car.”
The pain doesn’t vanish, you think and tell her. “I just learned how to deal with it, Hana. And it isn’t overnight that I do it. And you will get over it too. Heal from it. Someday, one day.”
The silence that follows is comforting, and you think she must’ve fallen asleep, just as most do after a good cry. But she hasn’t, you realize, when she rolls over once more and speaks in a quiet voice, “The way you are right now,” she pauses, only continuing when you give her a nod, “is it because of him?”
There are only a handful of people that could fit about who she means, you know that, but you refuse to speak of any of them and opt to ask her a question instead, “Which way that I am exactly are you referring to?”
“The closed-off you,” Hana replies, a soft tilt to her words, “I had a theory, you know, that you moved on so fast from the relationships you had after because you were never really invested in the people after him. That he broke you, enough for you to place that, whatever you have around your heart that doesn’t allow people to hurt you. You love other people, but you never really allow them to love you as much because of it which makes detachment and parting easier when it ends.”
You don’t really mean to, but the words Hana speaks are like a vacuum, drawing you into a place you’ve managed to tuck away in the very back of your mind. Memories rush in and you drown in it — of honey blond hair, rectangle smiles, and skin that smelled of oakmoss and jasmine.
“Am I right?”
You let out a laugh as you nudge a pillow towards your sister, “You and your unending theories. No, Hana. It’s not because of anyone in particular. This is just how I am, how I think. It’s just unfortunate that it's only the minority that shares the same sentiments as I do.”
Hana looks as if she’d try to refute before deciding against it, groaning when her phone rings and you raise an eyebrow because who in hell would be calling her at midnight. She shakes her head, twisting the phone around so you can see who’s calling and you see the word Studio and you shrug before she takes the call, only hearing snippets of the conversation and it seems as if it's about work.
Hana owns a photography studio — a hobby turned business venture with her friends. Your parents were against it initially, deeming it a ‘not suitable’ business for Hana, but your older sister is a head-strong bull and proceeded with her plans without a single support from your parents and of course, because she’s Hana Park, she can make anything succeed if she puts her mind to it.
“—yeah, you goof, I’ll be right there, don’t worry. Why are you so stressed about this anyway, is this your secret wedding or something?” You lie closer to your sister and she mouths ‘Jimin’ before returning to picking her nails, “I get it, okay. Stop freaking out, I promise to be there tomorrow. M’kay, bye.”
She heaves a dragged-out, exaggerated sigh just as she tosses her phone on the bed where it bounced, “You know, I’d assume it’s our dear brother’s prenuptial photoshoot tomorrow with the way he’s freaking out over the details. I’d actually think that if I didn’t know of him and his single ass and his emotional attachment to his bachelor title.”
“It’s Sunday tomorrow, and you’re booked because of that phone call,” You list, “So I can only assume Jimin knows one of them and used his connections to book your exclusive ass into working on a Sunday.”
Hana laughs, “You’re not wrong. Soyeon made the reservation for November, which is like, a month from now. Jimin moved it for tomorrow in such a rush last week for reasons I don’t know why.”
“Soyeon?” You gasp, eyes going wide, “You’re not talking about Yang Soyeon, are you? Oh my god, how did I not know about this?”
Your sister snorts, ungraceful and loud, “Who would have expected for the youngest cousin in the family to be the first one to be wed, huh? Date’s set for April next year and I don’t even know who she’s marrying,” But she pauses and a frown mars her features, “I would’ve been the first one to walk the aisle and yet, here I am.”
Wait.
“Hana,” you start, “aren’t you meeting Hyunwoo’s parents tomorrow for brunch? To formally call off the wedding? Isn’t that what you came here for tonight, because you were having second thoughts of actually calling it off tomorrow?”
You see the realization dawn upon her, her eyes widening in recognition of the planned confrontation, her mouth dropping to a comical shape of the letter ‘o’ before she sits up so fast you actually ask if her back’s okay and you hear the frantic hits of her nails against the glass of her phone, the worry leaking thickly in her voice as she speaks to multiple people, all of which ending in a frustrated sigh and groan from your older sister.
“Fuck!” she screams as she disconnects from a call once more, “I can’t find anyone to replace me, everyone’s either booked already or have plans for tomorrow. Fuck, shit, I’m screwed. Jimin’s going to kill me. No photographer’s available tomorrow, what am I going to do now, I—you.”
You still, nailed in place by her stare, “Fuck are you looking at me for?”
It’s in this moment you feel the doom coming down on you from all the corners of the universe when Hana smiles, actually feeling it that you shiver. She picks up the phone, calls Jimin, asks if 10 o’clock is okay for everyone to gather tomorrow, kisses your cheek good night.
Kiss of fucking death, you feel like.
You’re never a morning person — nor do you have plans to become one — and you aren’t used to being awakened by a goddamn wet, slimy tongue licking your face all over.
Hana’s laugh echoes around your room, followed by hushed good job from her and a shrill bark from her dog (you really did not know how Orion arrived here when the dog wasn’t even here last night), and you are never one to have thoughts of murder so early in the morning but your family has really been testing your limits. But then you remember that you willingly handed over to Hana the passcode to your apartment, something for emergencies and shit like that, but of course, she took it as an invitation to come and go as she pleases.
Fortunately, she cleans up after Orion’s mess, thank god.
Rolling over, you prepare to squint as protection against the glare of the sun since Hana had already pulled back the curtains, but you sit up at the lack of the sun’s intrusion into your eyes and see that the sun hasn’t even risen yet. The city that you can see through the glass window is quiet, still in deep sleep. As you should be just before Hana woke you up.
“Dad’s going to have a fit when I tell him what you’re blackmailing me to do,” you groan, falling back on your pillow, “I’m running his business and here you are making me take photos of people Dad hates, well, by extension.”
Hana does nothing but flash you a grin, “You’re the only one I can trust to be on par with my skills, honey. Besides, I already have Dad booked in the freaking out area ‘cause you know, I’m a bachelorette now.”
You roll your eyes and you move off your bed, making it neat and tidy to which Hana scoffs before grabbing the mug of cold coffee right from her hands and chugging it all down. Looks like you’ll need more than a cup with what you’re going to be faced with today.
“Is Jimin coming? My car’s in the mechanic, I’m getting it tomorrow.”
Hana nods before telling you just how far Jimin is from your apartment, “About Jimin, actually.” Your sister trails off and you feel an oncoming headache because of course, there’s more.
“I didn't exactly tell him I can’t make it today so I’m trusting you to, um, calm him down when he freaks? He’s only weak to your charms and absolutely immune to mine.”
Turns out a little while after that, Jimin’s absolutely immune to the both of you. Especially you.
“No, what the fuck. What—no.”
Jimin stands frozen, fingers gripping the edges of the kitchen island. His eyes are wide, mouth open in disbelief as he listens to Hana’s explanations of why she can’t go today, her eyes flashing as if to call you for help but you only shrug because there’s really nothing you can do to help her out of this. She made her own bed, might as well let her lie in it.
It irks you quite a bit though when Jimin starts to become unreasonable despite Hana’s crystal clear explanation as to why she’s unavailable today, and on a typical day, you know Jimin would understand, and would easily let it go because obviously, Hana’s life matters take precedence over a photoshoot that can be scheduled on a different day. Jimin today, however, is extra adamant on not having you take over the shoot and it might have very, just very slightly struck the wrong nerve in you.
“You know, Jimin, if this is a matter of your trust in my abilities, I’d gladly back out of this. I’m doing this as a favor to Hana, I’m not here to help you,” you quip, tight and low as you regard the both of them, “So, if you refuse to accept my help, then call your friend to find another photographer, better yet schedule another one with Hana.”
Hana starts to protest but Jimin shakes his head, turns to you with soft eyes and a pouting set of lips, “I’m sorry, that came off wrong. Really wrong. I swear I wasn’t trying to undermine your abilities, nor am I saying that there is anything to undermine because you’re good as shit at this, maybe even better than Hana, it’s just that—”
He cuts off his ramble mid-sentence as if to catch himself — to keep from spilling whatever his reservation about you being the stand-in for Hana, which you don’t really know what.
Three things about Jimin are these: he rambles when he’s extremely nervous, fidgets with his thumbs when he’s scared, and refuses to make any eye contact if he believes he’s done something wrong. It’s always one of the three when it comes to him and never altogether. And yet, he stands in front of you, doing all three simultaneously and your heart plummets to the marble flooring beneath you because what is he so scared of, really, to be like this in front of you.
“Look, if you don’t want me to do this, that’s okay,” You start to speak and Jimin turns to you and opens his mouth to speak when you shake your head. You aren’t finished speaking, “That is, if you have an alternative, if Soyeon agrees to reschedule, I’m sure Hana can fit them right in some other time—” You give a pointed look at your sister who rolls her eyes but nods, “—but if they don’t, you have no choice, Jimin. Unless you want to take the photos yourself.”
Jimin lets out a breath, agrees, and proceeds to call whoever he needs to and converses in a low tone that isn’t discernible to you, but Hana can hear and your eyebrows furrow in concern when her head turns so fast towards Jimin’s direction, panic clear-cut in her eyes as she picks up on whatever it is that Jimin is saying. She curses under her breath, turns ghostly pale before she pulls Jimin into one of the guest rooms, leaving you to your thoughts and your second cup of coffee.
“You kept this?”
It’s a good three minutes after that Jimin’s voice pulls you out of your trance — your attention previously held by the large black ant that is now on top of an apple. You turn and your breath hitches at the rough sketch of the overly-familiar Pomeranian in his right hand. You shrug, “Jungkook must have left it there when he came over.”
At this, Jimin raises his eyebrows. Stares at the picture a little bit too long before putting it back in place, under Jungkook’s purple-pink painting of a sunset, to the right of Jimin’s present two years before. He then looks at you, really looks at you, that you become unnerved enough to look away and pretend to busy yourself with some imaginary dust on the counter.
You know. You know how the framed sketch is too clean, too in place, and too taken care of to be something that your best friend accidentally left behind. And you know Jimin knows this too with the way his eyes turn to you and you fear. Fear that pity would be reflected in them and so you stand abruptly, deaf to the frantic calls of Hana and you head straight to the building basement and settle comfortably on the passenger seat of Jimin’s car.
You ran because you’re a coward — afraid to face questions you know you have no answers to.
Jimin enters not a minute later, silent and mum, but the silent looks your sibling keeps giving you is not something you miss no matter how discreet he tries to be about it. You brush it off though, citing the tense atmosphere to be the reason he’s doing so.
But little do you know that this is the first of the many mistakes you will be making — the tiniest among all others.
The theme is simple. Glamour, editorial-esque Vogue-spread motif. Fit for the rich. Something that exudes elegance and opulence. Classy, simple, and elegant. You nod as you skim through the print-out Hana rushes to get to you through one of her employees, one hand busy writing ideas and suggestions.
It warms your heart that despite all the things Hana has to face today, she hasn’t failed to make everything easier for you, as she always does. And everything’s in accordance, just as they should be. That is, except for one, someone. Jimin really cannot stop himself from shaking and you actually fear the poor boy is turning into a leaf, dancing in the wind, with how he physically cannot stop himself from moving.
You’ve had enough of it — his nervous fidgeting, the frantic scan of his eyes among the crowd, the unending bounce of his knees — so you move to approach him, just in time to pluck out the cigarette he’s about to light in his hand and he jumps, “Minie, you’re making me nervous here. I’ve seen you nervous but it’s never been this bad.”
Jimin looks at you and your chest constricts at the face he’s making. A beat, two beats before he lets out a shaky breath, “I’m sorry.”
You think of the exchange back at your apartment, the one where it came off as if he had no faith in you as Hana’s substitute and you let out a small laugh. You know Jimin would never think that. Flicking his chin, you shake your head, “It was me who took your words the wrong way, Min. You don’t need to apologize.”
He looks as if he wants to say more but a car pulls up, red and ostentatious with the way the roof is folded down, and you grin as you see your cousin, a matching upward curve to her lips.
It isn’t new, really, when you catch sight of her hair — beautiful shades of cotton candy pink and pastel blue glinting under the sun.
Beautiful, daring Soyeon, the darling of the Yangs.
You nearly meet your end, though, that day if it isn’t for Jimin cursing and pulling you back when Soyeon isn’t able to stop her car at the designated yellow parking line and she too squeaks a wheeze when she steps on the brakes. The car comes to a stop, and you see her breath does too, before she throws her head back and laughs.
“You’re fucking crazy.”
She sticks out her tongue before she jumps over the door, her flimsy taupe pants billowing after her. You only manage to let out a yelp of protest before she has you and Jimin in a bone-crushing hug and you feel your chest rasp to get some air in when she squeezes once more before finally letting go.
“This is a two-people marriage we’re having today, right? You’re not marrying yourself here?” You ask and laugh as she rolls her eyes. It’s definitely her thing and it wouldn’t be a surprise if she did. “I didn’t even know you were in a relationship and now you’re getting married?”
She shrugs, a wide smile still on her lips, “It just happened,” Her eyebrows furrow when she looks over at Jimin who’s uncharacteristically silent and nudges him, “I still won’t forgive you. I know my groom’s your best friend but it doesn’t really give you a free-pass to have him here at six in the morning to get you coffee. Who does that?”
You don’t really hear what Jimin has to say to her because you’re bidding your goodbye to them both when one of Hana’s assistants — the one she had assigned to brief you over all the details of today’s shoot — pulls you from the conversation, apology written all over her face at the thought of interrupting you but as soon as she open her mouth to speak, you dismiss it with an its okay and you signal for her to go ahead.
“This is the final list of the concepts Hana had brainstormed which one of the client is yet to choose from,” she hands you a thin stack of paper, a portfolio sandwiched between two clear binding covers, “The bride has already chosen the concepts she wants that are to be included for today’s shoot, so, all that's left is to hand the checklist to the groom for the shoot next week.”
Nodding, you skim through the portfolio and shit, it’s definitely good.
You’re whisked away towards the building, directed towards the seventh floor of the rented building in which you’re told Soyeon’s groom is, handpicking his outfits for the day.
You give the door a knock, hearing a bustle of people talking on the other side of the door, and when no one answers, you push the door open. You’re immediately greeted by a flurry of people walking back and forth, all of them either with stacks of paper in their arms or Brioni and Gucci suits in tow.
It’s a mess, a downright mess you want to run from because you haven’t ingested enough coffee to face this.
Which is exactly why you nearly cry when someone steps in front of you, a neat smile in place and a large cup of iced coffee in one hand, a hand extending towards you, “You look like you need this.”
He tilts his head once, gesturing inside the room, “I’m Yoongi, Min Yoongi. Jimin texted me earlier that his other sister is standing in for Hana and I assume that’s you.”
Something feels vaguely familiar about Min Yoongi and you list it off as a passing name Jimin had mentioned in the stories he had told you.
“There’s a meeting room on the very far left, grumpy groom’s there,” Yoongi smiles, “Nice meeting you, um—”
“(Y/N). My name’s (Y/N), nice to meet you too, Yoongi.”
You think as you walk that there’s no point in going over next week’s concept today since Hana can already make it by the next photoshoot and she would’ve understand better the dynamics of it all if they talk then, but okay, since you’re already here, might as well help all the way.
Through the frosted glass of the meeting room, you see a silhouette, tall and broad. You have never been a people-person and meeting new ones really isn’t your strong point so you take three deep breaths, hand tightening on the cup of coffee Yoongi handed you, before pushing the glass door open.
“Hi, I’m sorry I ran a bit late. It’s—”
And you stop.
You stop because you suddenly can’t feel the cold cup slipping from your grip. You stop because you feel the liquid pool at the very bottom of your shoes, sticky and wet and messy. You stop because you can’t breathe. You stop because your heart fucking stops too at the sight of Kim Taehyung.
Beautiful, dazzling Kim Taehyung.
First boyfriend, first love, now ex-lover, Kim Taehyung.
Soyeon’s groom and soon-to-be husband, Kim Taehyung.
“Everything okay here?” Yoongi. You hear his footsteps behind you before you see him and you can’t be thankful enough at the interference that’s very much needed.
But you allow yourself to be pathetic, just as you always are around Kim Taehyung. And because you can’t help it, frankly, when your eyes meet his and all sense that is good and common jumps out the window behind him. Because he looks fucking beautiful — him and his honey hair that’s now framing his face, a little bit longer, lighter. Because the room reeks of him, jasmine, vanilla, and oakmoss and it consumes you. The part of you that, despite it all, still longs for the Kim Taehyung from four years past.
On a good day and you meet him once more, you think you would have laughed. A fake smile and a head held high would’ve done it in front of him. But all it takes is one look now. One look, at the time when all your defenses are down, for the self-imposed chain that blocks it all to break and give, a domino effect in your mind as it all comes back; the whirlwind of feelings and emotions that the calamity of him brings forth.
You nod, feeling the light touch of Yoongi’s fingers around your arm, and you anchor yourself with it. Pull yourself from drowning in him once more. “Yeah, sorry,” You breathe, “It slipped. I’m really sorry.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll have someone take care of it, don’t worry,” Yoongi waves you off when you bend down to start cleaning up your mess, nods toward Taehyung, “Go on, he gets grumpy if he’s left to wait.”
Oh, you know.
So, you do.
You drag your legs to where Taehyung stands, feeling like you’re hauling wet logs for limbs. It’s silent, save for the sound of Yoongi’s shoes against the floor as he kicks at the fallen blocks of ice, and maybe, he takes the silence for Taehyung’s bout of pettiness because he hisses a quiet behave before he walks out. The silence becomes even more suffocating when now it’s just you and Taehyung.
“So—”
“I—”
You shut your mouth when he speaks at the same time as you.
You decide, though, to continue because you’re here for one thing and that one thing entails that you have something to say to him. But he doesn’t, he shouldn’t.
“So, let’s talk about concepts. I’ve been told that Soyeon has already chosen the ones for today — for both your individual and couple shots, and you get to choose the ones for the shoot with Hana next week. Here,” you slide the portfolio across the table, taking a seat across his own without waiting for him, “Hana already made an outline for everything so, this, is basically a checklist you just have to choose from and—”
“How are you?”
“—I’m just going to wait until you’re done filling them out so I can bring them back and start with—”
“(Y/N).” You finally look at him then and you look away the second you do because you’re trying so hard to keep yourself whole and you feel like one second more in his gaze and you’ll fall apart, “I’m sorry.”
And you try. God, you try so hard to repress the tiny, evil voice that pushes you to throw reason out the window. But it comes out anyway, and there’s no stopping what flows out of your mouth after, “Why,” you laugh, “Sorry because you wouldn't have chosen Hana's studio if you knew I was the one to take your photos? Or sorry because you had my brother acting like a train wreck just to keep this from me? Don’t worry I won’t be here next week.”
His face pinches, tongue rolling out to wet his lips, “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then don’t apologize to me—” you grit, fists clenched and heart thundering, “—as if you assumed that seeing you has put me in a position that hurt me. Because it really doesn’t. Not anymore, Taehyung. So if you have anything to apologize for—”
You cut yourself off because no, no he has nothing to apologize for. He doesn’t have to say sorry. One person deciding to walk out of a relationship doesn’t warrant an apology from them. An explanation, sure, but you don’t really need it from him. He made it clear enough all those years ago just before he slammed the door of your apartment shut that he just didn’t love you enough — not anymore then.
It’s been four years. It’s been four long years and you should be over him — and you are, you’re certain that you are. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt because it does, fuck, it still hurts so much and you don’t know why.
“—apologize to Jimin because I just know he feels like shit for lying to me because of you.”
You commit your second mistake that same day in the middle of shooting Taehyung’s individual photos. Soyeon had gone for a nature theme this time and so you find yourself in the middle of the forest with a near-naked Taehyung in tow and thank heavens it rains because one more glimpse through the viewfinder at his well-oiled torso and you might have combust and run away from the photoshoot, Hana’s reputation be damned.
Jimin seems to be attached to you now, becoming a human magnet not long after he had apologized so much he knelt, snuggling to your side every chance he gets that it’s suffocating you because he’s overcompensating but you don’t really have the heart to call him out. Not when he looks like a puppy whose tail got accidentally stepped on when you get around to even do so much as try.
So, you let him become your shadow for the time being, finally letting out a huge breath of relief when lunch time comes around and everybody takes a break and you slip past him to the very back of the dilapidated cabin you stumbled upon just before the last shoot ended, not too deep into the forest that faces the river.
Finally, you think, as you savor the peace, even though momentary. You’re glad to be away from the commotion and it makes you realize once more why you choose to be cooped up in an office. It’s because you really can’t handle this many people and it physically and emotionally drains you that you can’t think.
You pause when you reach into your pockets, the gritty warning from Hana and Jimin an alarm ricocheting in your mind how it’s an unhealthy habit and it’s going to fucking ruin you someday. But the short-lived guilt is replaced by justifications of how it’ll be a free-pass and your siblings can fuck off because they’re the reason you’re here in the first place.
Besides, burning through one stick won’t hurt them if they don't know.
So you let your fingers feel for the familiar leather case, pull the only stick inside and you’re so, so close to reaching your sweet release from this damned mental pressure when you realize you left your lighter at home. Letting out a curse, you clamp your mouth around the unlit cigarette, letting it hang and opting to indulge in its semi-sweet smell that goes so well with the rain.
“Want a light?”
You still, the cigarette falling from your lips at the sudden fright. Down, down, and down until it’s washed away by the rain. What a waste, you lament. Sighing, you turn and see Taehyung who’s sporting a sheepish smile, the same familiar white in between his own mouth, lit unlike yours, “I’d accept, but there’s really nothing that needs lighting anymore.”
He has a shirt on now, you notice, flimsy and buttoned up halfway. His hair is tousled messily, now free from the rigid form it previously had, and you give him your back when you feel the urge to fix the fraction of hair that has fallen forward. You hear him take a drag and you smell before you see the tendrils of gray smoke when he releases and god, the small whiff, even in the tiniest fume, has your shoulder relaxing.
“I’d offer one but I don’t have any spare with me,” you hear him say before you feel him move, “I’ll get the fallen one for you, if you want.”
You roll your eyes and wave him off before you see him lean against the other column, the change in position means that he’s now closer, closer than he’s ever been since the day you last saw him, years ago. And he’s close enough that the thin material of his shirt brushes against your hoodie when the wind moves. And you want to move too, only if it isn’t for the fact that one move and you’ll either fall into the river or be skewered by the worn down wood and you don’t really feel like dying today.
Ironic, how you went for a smoke break to relieve the stress of the day, only to have it doubled.
Now, this is where you make the second mistake.
Because you really don’t mean to stare at Taehyung. You don’t mean to let your stare at his mouth linger a second too long that he sees. It’s just unfortunate that the cigarette is in his mouth, and you stay fixated on the damn cigarette that you fail to see him catch your gaze and hold it.
It’s unfortunate that you don’t take a step back when he takes one step forward.
It’s unfortunate that you become pliant when his cold fingers softly grip your chin, coaxing your mouth to open and welcome the smoke that he blows from his own mouth, hot and intoxicating and tinged with the memories of all the nights past that he’s done this.
It’s unfortunate that you take a long drag when he places the soft end of the cigarette from his mouth to yours, unhesitating and eager.
“Feeling better?” He asks, gentle as he pulls the stick, planting it back to the hold of his mouth. You see a slight upward curve at the corners of it.
This is bad. Wrong and unacceptable and absolutely inappropriate, you know. But you can’t help but accept when he offers one more drag, an offer of release. This time you pluck it out from his fingers, feel the warmth of him around the smoke, and inhale.
It’s only when the embers die out that you feel it, the heavy feeling coming back tenfold as you realize the gravity of what you just did. Not for anyone else, but for you. The toll this will have on you when you go home and have all the time in the world to think about your stupidity. So before you get sucked into the void of self-destruction, you excuse yourself, not caring about the delicate drops of rain that fall but not before you turn back and shout your thanks.
“Okay, you shared a smoke, so what,” you mutter to yourself as you dry yourself off. You’re two people who share a history, a history that’s now dead and gone. A flame that was once bright but has now burned out, never to be rekindled again.
You enter the building with thoughts of rationalization that tries to justify what you’ve done as something harmless, clouding your mind enough that you don’t see Jimin barrel towards you with a smile on his face, only to be replaced with disgust when he breathes and chokes at the ghost of smoke that clings to your clothes.
He rummages through a nearby luggage and returns with a bottle of perfume, “If you want your head still attached to your shoulders by tonight, you’d know better and douse yourself in that shit because Hana’s here to take over and you only have two minutes to shove Listerine down your throat before she finds you.”
In the haste of trying to avert your sister’s wrath, you damn near shower the entire contents of the bottle, only to realize that night when you come home that despite the endless showers you take, you still smell like him. Because of all people, Jimin just had to take from Taehyung’s things and now you’re doused with him all over again.
It’s later that night that you’ll fall asleep to the smell of jasmine and vanilla despite years of trying so hard to rid your apartment of any scents.
Of any trace of Kim Taehyung.
The third and fourth mistake, you make five days later. A Friday that you’re miraculously off work early. Well, technically, you can get off whenever you want but as the faithful, loving, and overworking youngest child that you are, you’ve assimilated longer hours at your father’s company to productivity and so you’ve never really found reason to clock off early when you can do so much more if you stay a bit later than most.
Besides, the company won’t run by itself, so there’s that.
Now, though, you wonder why you thought like that because as you walk down the street, everything looks divine. The setting sun settles on the horizon, sandwiched between two skyscrapers, bleeding purple and orange and pink and it’s breathtaking. Painfully so. For the first time, you indulge yourself in the sounds of the busy city and for a change, it’s peaceful despite the loudness. You can’t remember the last time you took a stroll like this, having been so immersed in work. The last time you walked down the street the like had been years ago, with—
The breath you take is sharp and sudden that it has you bent over on the sidewalk, coughing and wheezing your lungs out that people start to look. You flash a smile, sending a quick thanks to your sister’s ex-lover for choosing to establish the studio within a five-minute walk from the company building, and nearly combusting on the spot when you pull their glass door that clearly says push right after you nearly heave your lungs out from climbing 10 sets of stairs because the elevator isn’t working, coincidentally.
“Hey,” you greet the people on the lounge before specifically turning to Younha — the one who had walked you through everything on the previous shoot, “Is Hana here? I have the initial photos ready if she wants to see. Played around and edited most of them.”
Younha looks sheepish as she raises her hand to her nape where she nervously scratches, “About that,” she grimaces, “Hana phoned earlier that she’s running a bit late tonight so she told me to look over the photos and pick the final ones with the client, but I don’t trust myself enough to do that just yet, so would it be okay if we go through it together?”
You assure her it’s okay. And really, it is, because you’ve finished work anyway and it’s a Saturday tomorrow. You can afford to be late an hour or so. You watch her plug the USB on one of the computers lined up against the wall, see her gasp when she pulls up the photos.
“Oh my god, these are beautiful. You’re telling me you shot each of these by yourself, edited them all on your own, all in less than a week,” Younha turns to you, eyes wide, “Can’t you come and work with us?”
You laugh, genuine and loud, “The raw files were already beautiful untouched. Just touched up some lighting here and there.”
“Yeah, and who took those raw shots, hm? Who coordinated every single thing that resulted in those shots looking like that? You, that’s who,” Younha seems to realize who she’s talking to and she blushes before muttering something else you can’t hear, “Also, about Hana—”
Uh-oh. This can’t be good.
“—so she told me earlier if I can pick out the final photos with the client, right? And since you’re here,” Younha trails off and you still there is no way, no way that you’re going to sit hours dissecting each photo with Soyeon, worse if it’s Taehyung. You have your pride and you’ll cling to that even if it’s the last thing you do in this world.
No way in hell. “Hana’s on her way here, right? I think she can make it.”
Younha nods, a low hum before she answers, “She can. In two hours. Maybe. Not sure. Our client, however—” She tilts her head to the right. Towards the direction of Hana’s office. “—is here.”
It’s a sigh of defeat you let out. Walking away from here means you admit you’re a coward, walking in Hana’s office will mean you’re weak. See, it’s always a lose-lose thing for you everytime a certain Kim is involved. The very, and only, Kim who seems to be haunting every part of your daily life the past five days. Or in this current case, a future Kim but a Kim nonetheless.
Younha smiles, the sly fox, when you place your bag back down on the table, “If I’m going to stay here for the night, might as well ask for coffee. Lots and lots of it.”
You only barely get the full sentence out but Younha is already on her heels with a mock salute.
You push the door to Hana’s office, making sure (twice) not to pull this time, and your eyes land on Kim Taehyung whose eyebrows rise in surprise upon seeing you. If he thinks you’re meaning to keep on meeting him like this, well, he’s wrong. The universe likes to spring surprises down your path of life and it just so happens that for now, Kim Taehyung might be its play thing — to torment you with, most probably.
He sits on the couch that rests against the white wall, beside the windows that occupy the whole one side of the room that overlooks the city. Hana’s office is more like her office and a miniature studio, exclusive for her and whoever she decides to let in here, separate from the lounge and the main studio. It’s an industrial loft, made modern and more suited to her taste and it’s just so goddamn bright in here, you realize.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” you mutter as the door clicks shut behind you.
You head straight to Hana’s computer, turning it on and plugging the USB before you plop down on the office chair. “I had the photos with me and I dropped by to leave it for Hana but she apparently has things to attend to for the next two hours and you’re here already so, yeah.”
Taehyung only nods, silent and awkward when he stands.
You sigh, “Grab a chair and come here, I guess. We have, like, a thousand photos to sift through. See if you’d like any changes done to them. The earlier we finish, the better.”
Three hours pass after that and you’re left with no Hana in sight, 325 file numbers listed down, a faint headache and tired eyes, a hungry stomach, and three accidental brushes of Taehyung’s hair on your cheek because what before is a ruler-long distance between the two of you has been reduced to mere centimeters, and Jesus Christ, you don’t know who moved between the two of you that it has come to such. You’re firm to say it isn’t you because your ass remains frozen, stiff as a board everytime Taehyung does so much as inhale.
“Can you—” Taehyung clears his throat, pointing to the keyboard, “—move to the next one, please.”
You mutter an apology, pressing the right arrow and you see the photo move. Frankly, you aren’t paying attention. Not to anything, least of all the photos. It’ll be like knocking consciously on Hell’s door if you do pay attention.
Because you can take being around Taehyung, you can easily detach yourself from reality when you are — and not feel anything, to look at him alone and think of him as an ex-friend, an ex-lover without the rest of the titles attached. But to look at the photos, the pictures you took, there’s no detaching from that reality. The reality that the man you had feelings for — might still have feelings for, but you push that thought back — is getting married, of all things.
And you list this off as feeling weird, an ex marrying a cousin. You aren’t jealous, god, no. It’s just that — weird. Well, you think.
“Okay, I can’t take this anymore,” Taehyung breathes and you still, unmoving as the statue on the corner of the room, “I’m going to order Chinese. I’m not going to last the rest of these photos if I don’t eat. Anything you want?”
He might as well have slammed the mouse he’s holding with the way he casually lets it fall off from his hand to the table, leaning back on his chair and oh god, his head is leaning on the back of your chair. One move of your shoulder and the back of it will touch the side of his head. He has his phone over his head, elbows hanging in the air as he opens his phone with a click. He hums as he scrolls and this is so, so painfully domestic that you struggle to breathe.
It’s been push and pull the whole night. He asks, you answer, and never the other way.
Fifteen minutes that you’re plunged in deafening silence and you punch the air in your mind when Younha knocks, take-away bags at hand and a smile on her face.
Taehyung hands you your food, places the utensils in neat order, pokes the straw through your bubble tea and gently places it in front of you and you stare. You stare because never in your life did you ever think you and Taehyung would ever be in this situation. Toeing around each other, walking on eggshells.
There had been a time that silence wasn’t an option — it’s either you filled the quiet or he did; mouths off about Pokemon and stickers and dogs he met on a certain day, or silence filled with wordless communication through flesh and skin and heavy breaths.
Never this — a fragile silence that no words could ever fill. But of course, Taehyung knows how to break that. Break you when he speaks, “I think we’ll have this one framed for the reception.”
You blink at the photo on the monitor, big and taunting. In it, Taehyung smiles, a wide rectangle stretch of his mouth as his chin rests on top of Soyeon’s head, the latter leaning her weight on Taehyung. It’s evident, palpable even, the happiness that’s shared between them. A running joke between the two of them captured on a permanent photograph only they can understand.
“Yeah,” you nod, a smile, or an attempt at it, stretching your lips, “it’s beautiful. Definitely worthy for the reception. You can hang it in your home after.”
It’s an instinct – you’d like to believe so – when you feel Taehyung move beside you and you mindlessly mirror him, freezing the moment you take in the miniscule space that’s left as you both huddle to look at the monitor. A good couple inches you can count on one hand. And you refuse to move away because no, this is not at all affecting you. And it’s Taehyung, you justify, who’s currently invading your space.
The third mistake is when you try to steal a glance at the corner of your eye because you think he’s engrossed with the picture.
But then you see that he isn’t. Not when his stare locks with yours the moment your eyes move. Had been on you all this time.
The fourth is when he moves and you don’t.
Not when his thumb brushes the corner of your mouth to wipe whatever it is he sees there.
Not when he flashes you a smile – something so fond and warm and tender that renders you mute.
Not when he succumbs to sleep an hour later, head lolling on your shoulder.
But the entire world moves when he stirs and the overhead lights hit something golden. It crumbles and caves beneath your feet when a locket falls out of the top of his loosely buttoned shirt. An identical locket to the one that now sits heavy on your chest – once heavy with the broken promises, but now empty of the love that first came with it.
You see his forehead wrinkle as he slowly wakes and you feel the start of the burn that first settles on your chest before it moves and starts from the corners of your eyes. You train your eyes on the monitor, fingers clicking away on the mouse and the keyboard faster than ever.
“I’m sorry,” you hear him say. His head stays on your shoulder as he speaks. “What time is it?”
“Quarter before ten—”
“I missed you,” he breathes and you hear him let out a soft laugh before he whispers, “I always miss you.”
It feels as if all the air in your lungs has been knocked out and you turn to speak when you see that he’s fallen back asleep. And god, you wanted to shout at him, let out the years of pent up frustration and grudge you’ve had all these past years and ask all the unanswered whys and hows. But looking at him now, after so, so long, you realize you do too.
A tear drops and a multitude of realizations follow.
You missed him. You missed him. You miss him.
And fuck, you’re still in love with him, you realize. So much and enough to make you not think of the consequences of the realization that you do.
Not when his fiancée finally comes and places a chaste kiss on his lips.
Not when a wedding invitation lands itself on the desk towards you.
And especially not when the ghost of him lingers when they’re gone and you find yourself praying for it to stay just a little bit longer.
You did not plan for your Friday night to be like this at all.
The initial – and final – plan was this: show up to the club your sister wanted you to show up to, make it look like you’re genuinely happy to be there, flee the moment midnight hits when your sister and her friends are too drunk to realize you aren’t there anymore, and sleep away in the solace your tranquil and quiet apartment offers.
The night and plan had been going well, much to your delight.
Just until the fleeing part, that is. Because the moment you press the unlock button to your car half past one in the morning, you see a very drunk Kim Taehyung eagle spread on the hood of your car, with only a rumpled halfway-buttoned shirt that’s tucked into his pants, one of his shoes already on the roof of the Mercedes.
And so instead of proceeding to the sleeping part of your plan, here you are now, struggling under the weight of Taehyung as you try to push in all his limbs in the passenger seat because he refuses to go away. Why, of all people, must you be the one to find him like this? Other people would’ve paid no mind leaving him on the pavement but of course, the universe had to make sure it just had to be you because old, cruel fate had it out for you and your demise.
Two weeks spent in isolation from the rest of the world in an attempt to justify and get over the realization you had of still being in love with an ex and the world just dumps him in the hood of your car of all cars.
“Kim Taehyung, I am not above violence, I will fucking knock you out if I have to if you step your foot out and kick me once more, for the love of god,” you heave, “Are you with Jimin?”
At this, he grins and nods, eyes half-closed, “Jimin went home. I think. Or wait, maybe he’s passed out in Yoongi’s tub. I think. I don’t know, do you think he’s still here? Wait, do you know Jimin? How do you know Jimin?”
You sigh, “Give me your phone. I’ll get Soyeon to pick your ass up.”
Taehyung lets out a loud gasp, proceeds to choke on air before he looks up at you, “How do you know my girlfriend?”
You pause for a second before rolling your eyes, “Phone.”
“It’s in my left pocket, can you get it for me? I’m so tired,” he whines, wincing as his head lands on the head rest. You reach over to pull his phone out, only to retrieve a pack of cigarettes but no phone. You freeze when his hand grips your wrist that’s still in his pocket, feeling your heartbeat in your ears when he leans forward, so close that you feel his breath on your cheek, “Butt pocket, sorry.”
You take a deep breath as he continues to look at you with a grin. You move closer, angling your head away because you would be fucking cheek-to-cheek if you don’t and you pause just before you touch his back pocket, “No, you know what, you can get it yourself. Either that or I leave you out here on the streets.”
Taehyung pouts but he moves his arm behind him nonetheless, proceeds to feel his other pocket when he finds the first one empty.
“My phone’s gone,” he huffs, “Oh! It’s in Minnie’s car!”
You let out a loud groan, rounding the car to open the driver’s side to look for your bag so you could use your phone and you let out another sound of frustration, louder this time, when you remember the picture of a beige bag being left underneath your couch’s pillow. You look over at Taehyung, a war in your head as to what to do with him, before you finally settle on the choice that you never, ever think you would’ve made.
“Fine,” you grit as you turn the engine on, “I’m going to drop you off your house but I’m not gonna be held accountable for the reasons you’re going to have to explain to your girlfriend if she greets your drunk ass as to why the fuck her cousin’s dropping her fiance off, alright? Now, are you still staying in the same apartment ‘cause I’m going to drop you–”
Taehyung snores, body folding in on himself as he slightly shivers. You sigh, dropping your forehead on the steering wheel, enough to hurt and make the horn whine, “This is fucking unbelievable. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Hey, Taehyung,” you shake him, poking his shoulders the way you know he hates, “Wake up and tell me your address, asshole. I’m not driving to the other side of the city only to find out you changed address. Hey.”
He makes the tiniest wave of his arm before he goes back to sleep.
You glance at the clock that says it’s now nearing three in the morning and you run your hands over your face because fuck this.
Now, you head to your apartment with the plan of just dumping Taehyung in the foyer and letting him sleep there until he has his mind back in the morning – you figure he’d probably run off the minute he wakes up.
“Hey, wake up.” You nudge him when you arrive and you sigh once more as he merely stirs, opening his side of the door before attempting to move out of the car only to heave when the seatbelt he still has on pulls him back.
With a grimace, you round to his side and lug one of his arms around your shoulders and basically carry all of his weight towards the elevator. You give a tight smile to the staff at the reception as you pass by, dismissing the offer of help. You nearly drop to your knees as soon as the elevator doors close, exhaustion flooding you all of a sudden.
As soon as the door opens to the penthouse, you remove your hold on Taehyung and he slumps against the wall. You let out a breath before pushing him to one of the guest rooms where he immediately plops down on the bed after knocking his shoes off. A small smile plants itself on your face and you reach over to pull the covers over him.
Kneeling down on the floor beside the bed, you brush off the loose hairs that cover his face and you whisper, “You’re making it so hard for me.”
Deciding that you’ve helped him enough, you head to your room to change and shower – a long bout of internal battle against yourself as you try to wash off all that happened.
It is an hour later when you’re already in your bed, tossing and turning that you find yourself a long way from sleep, and so you push the covers off of you to head towards the kitchen to find something to drink. The sun is starting to rise, you see, as you stare at the large windows, uneasy at the thought that Taehyung is there. Here.
And you know you shouldn’t care anymore. You’ve done enough and beyond to help him, you remind yourself. But that doesn’t matter, really, because here you are, pushing the guest room open to check on him, a bottle of water in hand. He remains as he was the second he got here and you sigh as you pull one of Jungkook’s shirt and sweatpants from the cabinet, a spare he leaves in the case he unintentionally sleeps over, and you walk towards Taehyung before slowly shaking him awake.
“Hey,” you speak softly as his eyes crack open, mind still swimming in alcohol, “you should change into this. Your clothes must be uncomfortable to sleep in. Here’s some water too.”
His eyes open a little bit wider, voice hoarse when he speaks, “(Y/N)?”
You swallow, “Yeah, it’s me.”
“I can’t remember most of tonight, how did I—”
You smile, “And you probably won’t remember all of this when you sleep once more. Just change and drink this, Taehyung.”
A part of why you’re doing all the things you’re doing is the fact that you know he will forget this.
He sits up, swaying as he does so, twisting the water open. You greet him good night, and just as you turn to head back to sleep, his hand dart out to grip your wrist – as tight as the grip that has your heart beating so loud in your chest as he does, “I’m sorry.”
Without turning around, you answer, “You don’t have to be. I would’ve done the same for anyone else.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.”
Pressing your tongue against your cheek, you rip your arm away from his hold, now turning around to face him. He slowly stands, eyes trained on you. You open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it, “I’m not saying sorry just because of tonight,” he speaks quietly, “This is an apology that’s long overdue. An apology I never had the courage to give you. An apology that I owe you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being the coward that walked away without an explanation. For not being the person I promised you I would be.”
“I told you,” you say through gritted teeth, “You don’t owe me an apology, Taehyung. It’s over and done with. Apologizing to me would mean that there’s still loose ends between us, and I’m telling you that there’s none. You may have burnt those ends the moment you walked away and I have burned mine in the years that followed. You don’t owe me anything.”
He’s closer now, so close that you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol and his perfume. “Then why are you still wearing this?”
You feel all the walls come down, then, when his fingers trace the golden chain of the locket. The once emblem of young and promised love, of an oath, of Kim Taehyung. The necklace that never was once removed from you since then.
You chuckle, bitter and harsh, “You’re still wearing it too, Kim.”
You flinch as you feel the pad of his thumb wipe away at the trail of tears that has somehow escaped, “Leaving you was the only choice I had then. It killed me to walk right out of that fucking door but it was the only choice. For you, for me, for us. Even if it meant me becoming the asshole, it was the only choice.”
“Don’t feed me that bullshit, you left me. And in my vocabulary and everyone else’s, leaving the person you claim to love without a single explanation is a shit move,” you nearly damn snarled, “I could’ve accepted you telling me you didn’t love me anymore but you fucking walked out without a single word. Well, I guess it worked out great for you, huh? You’re getting married now.”
“I did l—”
“Don’t fucking dare say it,” you sob, feeling all the energy draining out of you in a second, “You’re four years too late, Taehyung.”
The chains that hold all the hurt and grievance of the past four years had been unlocked and with the thought of Taehyung not being able to remember this tomorrow, you let it all out.
“I lied,” you whisper, lips and chest shaking as you breathe, “It hurts me seeing you now. So fucking much. Because you never wanted to get married. I remember when we were together you said that we could live without the titles, the labels, and the technicalities of it all, because you’d love me the same. So yes, it hurts. I can’t deny that it does when the things you didn’t want with me, things I wanted to have with you, you learned to want with someone else. Shit like this hurts because even if I was okay without all the titles, I thought then that spending a lifetime with you wouldn’t be so bad. But you made it seem like you never wanted marriage, not with anyone ever and so I accepted it, content even with just being with you.”
“But then you show up like this,” you say so quietly you don’t know if he can hear it, “You can’t expect it not to hurt, Tae, because it does. So, so much.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung lightly rests his forehead on yours, “I’m so sorry.”
“Answer me this one question,” you look up at him, “Please.”
You feel him nod, “Anything.”
You feel it again, the suffocating claws that grips around your chest, the pain of unanswered questions and doubts, “Was my love not enough for you?”
You feel it before you hear it, when he nods against your head, hands coming up to hold your cheeks, “No, no, god, no. It was more than enough. It was so much more than enough that you became someone who didn’t deserve someone who couldn’t reciprocate the amount of love you were giving me. I’m sorry.”
“I miss you, Tae.” You whisper, and you can barely see him through the tears, “And it’s so, so wrong and I shouldn’t be doing this but fuck, I do. Four years and I still miss you and now you’re here, back in my life, and yet you’re still the farthest you’ve ever been from me.”
Maybe it’s the realization that he is – so far away from you and will never be close enough anymore – that you think maybe this is the long-awaited end. The closure you’ve once longed for but never had. Maybe there really was no reason for him leaving you beyond the fact that he didn’t love you anymore – and maybe that was enough reason. You just didn’t want to accept that fact. Maybe it’s time that you do.
After Taehyung, you’ve become someone who believed that love is something that’s easy to let go, when in fact, all this time, it is the love you had for Taehyung you’ve never let go of. And maybe, it was never love for the people that came after him and so it became easy for you once it’s over, once it ended. Because what has started that really counted has never reached its end, for you anyway. Because it will never be the same.
Because they weren’t Kim Taehyung.
“Don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve it,” he smiles a small smile as he wipes a tear away.
“Then stop making me cry, asshole,” you softly retort, hands coming up to wrap around his own to pull them away from your face. You can’t think straight when he has his hands on you, “I’m not asking for you to love me again, not anymore. Maybe we could be friends?”
It’s a weak attempt at humor, you know. And you really don’t think you can be just friends with Taehyung. But you’re weak for Kim Taehyung and you’re still so fucking in love him that you’d settle for whatever there can be between the two of you. He doesn’t need to know the specifics.
“Can we, really?” He laughs softly, a sad smile appearing, “I’m about to do something very stupid, for the very last time, so please, stop me if you don’t want to because I don’t think I can stop myself.”
He leans forward as the inches between you decrease down to a zero, his lips pressing against your cheek, your forehead, your eyelid, and to the corner of your mouth before he pulls away. “No, you had something to drink too, I’m drunk, you’re drunk. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, ” Taehyung breathes against your cheek, eyes shut tight.
“I’m not.”
Whether that’s an answer that refutes your state of intoxication or a statement that debunks Taehyung’s apology, you don’t know. Because the next moment finds you pulling him forward, arms snaking around his shoulders as you kiss him. Soft and unhurried and sad – a declaration of what had remained unsaid for the past years.
The last time, you swear, and from tomorrow then on, you’re going to be friends. This night will be void – forgotten and discarded. Taehyung is going to continue with his life and you with yours.
It’s so easy to become so lost in Taehyung that you forget the rest of the world.
That you don’t hear the sound of the door opening.
Or the second set of drunk footsteps that follows the first one.
“What in the fuck is going on here?”
#bts#bts fiction#kimtaehyung#kim taehyung#taehyung fanfiction#taehyung fanfic#taehyung smut#kth fanfic#kim taehyung angst#angst#bts angst#taehyung angst au#taehyung fic#bts x reader#taehyung x reader#taehyung#taehyung imagines#bts taehyung#taehyung angst#bts v#kingminie#until forever falls apart
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Hey!
I love ur blog and ur writing they
Soo good can I request a yandere husband taehyung x reader where it's the typical wife worship husband kind lf thing also can u pls make him really dark too with a non-con
Sorry if it's too much
Love ya
Ｍｉｌｌｉｏｎ Ｄｏｌｌａｒ Ｍａｎ ＫＴＨ
Pairing - Dark! Husband! Kim Taehyung x AFAB! Reader
Featuring - None!
Word Count - Around 1.8k
Tags and Warnings - Domestic Violence, Non-Con, Breeding Kink, Mentions of blood, forest sex scene, Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Allusions to kidnapping
Authors Note - Late Valetines Day story! This is my last req!! Sooo some more personal inspiered stuff coming soon! Also please let me know if you guys like the longer more descriptive fics.
A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! These depictions don't pertain to reality. This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!
He was your world, your everything.
Or at least that’s what he told you.
Soon, you found yourself having to repeat these thoughts, constantly reminding yourself of them, almost blinding yourself to the harsh reality of just how miserable you had become.
You cut potatoes, sprinkling herbal seasoning on top. You put them in a pan and cover them with virgin olive oil. Placing the pan in the oven, you set a timer.
The beep reminded you of the constant threats and warnings he provided. He required dinner to be prepared by the time he returned home from work every day. Especially today, Valentine's Day. The day you are supposed to be the most appreciative of what Kim Taehyung has given you.
During your cleanup, you suddenly felt a pair of hands encircle your waist, and a broad nose press against your neck. You instinctively leaned into the touch, fully aware of who it was. "Hello, my love," he murmured, his warm breath gently caressing your neck.
"Hello, how was your day at work?" You inquire, speaking softly with a touch of sweetness. He grunted, wrapping his arms around your waist tighter. "Did you have a tough day?”
Taehyung uttered dismissively, "They were just bothering me, honestly. All I wanted was to be back home with you." He says, planting a kiss on your neck once more. You could feel his cock harden against the curve of your back. You shivered noticeably. His black hair brushed against your neck. "Are you cold baby?”
You glance downwards and shake your head. "No... Your hair just tickled me a little bit.”
Taehyung nodded to himself as he responded, "I brought you some beautiful roses and your favorite chocolates." He lamented slightly, his hips pressing against your back. You stayed quiet. "What do you say?”
“Thank you… I-I’m making dinner… I’m sorry I couldn't get you anything more.” You apologized. But you both knew the reason why.
You had no access to your funds.
No access to a vehicle to leave.
No knowledge of where you lived.
Not even the luxury of owning a phone or the login to any of the house's computers.
Yet Taehyung cooed. “It's okay, I know you love me. I don't need all that stuff.”
Shit. Not even light gaslighting could make him feel sorry and give you more privileges. You nod in agreement as he speaks. “I’m going to get cleaned up for dinner. Don’t wait on cleaning, you know I hate having a dirty kitchen.” Taehyung walks away, gesturing towards the mess on the kitchen counter.
“It’ll get cleaned. I promise.”
💲
After dinner, you prepared to go to bed. You'd expected Taehyung to be asleep by now, but he was up. Book in hand he lay in bed, his nightwear glasses making him look as sophisticated as ever. You gulped, walking towards the bed and crawling in. Crawling into bed next to him, you asked, “Aren't you sleepy yet?”
“No, I can't calm my mind," he stated abruptly. You could tell he was upset at something. It was something you had to pick up on, being with him. He was too emotional, his mood swings frightening you at times. “Where is my laptop?”
Of course that's what it was.
Desperation drove you to try and access Taehyung's laptop. He had left it unattended and you saw it as a chance to try and discover your location. The day you married Taehyung, he had swept you off your feet and whisked you away to an unknown place, leaving you with no knowledge of where you were or how to escape.
The house was nestled in a dense forest, surrounded by trees as far as the eye could see. Sometimes, you would gaze out the window, searching for signs of life in the distance. But all you ever saw was the endless expanse of darkness, an eerie stillness that only made you fear Taehyung more.
The computer taunts you with every failed login attempt, each one feeling like a slap in the face. Frustration and desperation build as you frantically try every password you can think of until finally, with a loud beep, the screen displays "Access Denied." Fury bubbles up inside of you as you realize you've been locked out. Trembling with anger, you snatch the computer and hide it away, unable to face another rejection from this merciless machine.
The silence between you two is deafening.
He flips a page in the book he was reading, seemingly calm but you know better. You can feel his eyes boring into you
"Why are you so quiet?" he questioned, flipping a page in his book. "I know you did something - you turned off the cameras. I received a notification on my phone.”
Quietly, you mustered up the courage to reply. “I-I wanted to…”
"What did you want? To abandon me? On Valentine's Day? After everything I've done for you? After everything I've sacrificed for you?" Taehyung bombarded you with questions, and you couldn't make sense of them. He slammed his book shut and got right in your face. His hands aggressively pulled at the bottom of your nightgown, as if trying to search you for something. You let out a gasp and fought back by kicking at him.
Then you got him. Your foot connecting with his face.
Taehyung jerked back, sitting up abruptly. A metallic taste floods his mouth as he runs his tongue over his now split and bleeding upper lip. “Won't you look at that…”
“T-Tae… I-I’m sorry. Please, I didn't mean it. I-I can pa-” But before you could finish, his hand wrapped around your throat, cutting off your words and squeezing tightly. The impact of your head hitting the wooden headboard sends a jolt of pain through your skull, but it's nothing compared to the fear that grips you as one of his hands grips your throat, his face twisted in a violent rage. Taehyung's grip tightened as he knelt over you, both hands now grasping at your neck.
“What was that for huh? I thought I broke you in… but obviously I didn't do a good enough job huh?” With each point he wanted to get across, he lifted your head and slammed it into the bed. You tried to fight him off, desperately scratching at his arm with your anxiously bitten nails. With each brutal blow, your vision became spotty and distorted until you spotted the vase of roses nearby. The ones he had just brought for you. Without hesitation, you grabbed it and brought it down upon his skull, shattering the delicate glass and sending shards and water flying.
You had only a few seconds to get away.
Your feet thudded against the soft carpet as you sprinted out of the bedroom. Gasping for air, you knew there was no time to stop and catch your breath. Every second counted as you tried to make up for what had been lost.
Racing to the living room, you shoved your feet into house slippers and tore out of the door, darting into the dense woods that surrounded the home. Branches whipped and sliced at you, as you climbed over fallen debris. The idea of stopping flashed through your mind, but you knew you had to follow through.
Trying to see through the minimal amount of light was nearly impossible. The darkness consumed the woods, with only the moon's glow and the trees creating harsh shapes on the forest floor. "Baby! Where did you go? I'm sorry!”
His voice. It was too close, sending a chill down your spine. You quickly ducked behind a towering tree, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to steady your ragged breaths. One hand clamped over your mouth to stifle any noise, the other clenched into a tight fist. "Fuck," Taehyung's voice taunts, followed by the sound of his footsteps approaching. "You got me good, but don't worry. But I can be better okay? We can drop this entire thing and go back to bed…” Taehyung's voice was next to you.
But you aren't falling for that. He wanted you to feel bad. Taehyung's predatory steps echo behind you, coming closer and closer until a vice-like grip seizes your hair, yanking you down to the ground. “I thought we talked about this? This running away shit,” he spat.
"Tae, please, let's just go home... I'm sorry! I promise I won't run again, just please-" Your pleas fall on deaf ears as Taehyung circles around you, his imposing figure casting a looming shadow, pinning you to the dirt and making you feel utterly helpless, the dirt making you feel grimy. You could hear him pull down his pajama pants and you began to cry out. As you struggle to break free, Taehyung's grip tightens and he slams your shoulder back into the ground with a sickening thud. Tears stream down your face as you realize there is no escape from this nightmare.
His hand went to his mouth as he sucked on his middle and index finger. With his other hand, he roughly yanked up your gown until it tore at the seams. You screamed and cried, squeezing your eyes shut in desperate prayer, hoping against hope that this was all just a twisted nightmare inflicted by cruel and malevolent gods.
A shrill cry escapes your lips as your husband rips off your panties and plunges his fingers inside you. They skillfully find your sweet spot, causing you to moan in pleasure. “Already creaming around my fingers, fuck, that's so sexy,” he growls, a mix of desire and dominance in his voice. His head lowers to kiss you messily, leaving a trail of spit on your frightened face. His tongue invades your mouth, despite your attempts to protest.
With the sudden absence of his fingers came the sudden intrusion of his length.
The force of Taehyung's thrusts feels like a battering ram, relentlessly pummeling into you until your body is split in two. Your gasps turn into desperate cries of shock and agony as he continues to ravage you, his lips locked onto yours in a twisted display of affection.
It all left you gasping for air.
Your screams of agony were muffled by Taehyung's unrelenting kisses as he pounded into you mercilessly. You claw and beg for him to stop, tears mingling with the dirt beneath you as he continues to take what he wants from your menatlly broken body.
He persisted, driven by his ultimate goal to finish inside you. His desire was to take control of you, impregnate you with his child.
As you rolled your eyes back in pure ecstasy, Taehyung's cock became coated in slick, sticky cum. The sight only heightened his own arousal and soon he was filling you to the brim with his hot release. Taehyung had a dazed yet blissful look on his face as he gazed at you.
“Don’t turn off those cameras again.”
Let me know through a dm or ask to be included in my official Taglist- @darkuni63 @captainengineer-trixie @chimmisbae @iloverubberduckiez-blog @mageprincess7 @looneybleus @whipwhoops @mayvalentine33
#dark writing#tw dark content#tw yandere#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere blog#tw gaslighting#yandere bts#kth fanfic#kth#yandere kim taehyung#kim taehyung#kim taehyung fic#yandere bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fic#bts#bts smut#tw violence#tw abuse#tw noncon#tw kidnap mention#tw kidnapping#dead dove do not eat#dead dove fic
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what your camera roll would look like dating taehyung
#bts#fanfic#fanfiction#x reader#taehyung x reader#kim taehyung#taehyung#bts x reader#imagine#bts imagines#kth#thv#bangtan#kim taehyung x reader#taehyung imagine#fluff#bts masterlist#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook#jeon jungkook
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Nothing | KTH
Pairing: Taehyung x Fem!Reader
Rating: 18+; SFW
Genre: Established relationship; domestic AU; fluff
Warnings: Some light innuendo but not too explicit (I don't think)
Word count: 948 words
Summary: You wake Taehyung up at the crack of dawn to get some pastries.
A/N: Just a little something fluffy I wrote for Taehyung! Hope you enjoy it!
"Hey, love. It's time to wake up."
Taehyung half-grunts and moans in response. He lazily swats his hand in your direction, his eyes still closed. "Go away."
You laugh as his hand misses. "Come on, you said you'd do this with me."
He sighs heavily, still keeping his eyes closed. "Do I have to?" he mutters into the pillow.
"Pleeeease?" you sweetly beg.
Today, a French bakery is opening in your city. You and Taehyung fell in love with their croissants during a trip out of town. For months, you've considered getting them delivered whenever you had a craving, but it wasn't worth it. However, now that they are finally in your area, you are excited to have easier access to them.
You try to jog his memory. "Remember those chocolate-almond croissants? You kept trying to take a bite out of mine?"
He remembers but doesn’t understand why he has to get up at the crack of dawn to get them. “But why so early though?” He croaks.
"Come on, it's opening day. They've drummed up all this excitement on social media. I don't want them to sell out before we get there," you reason. And everyone seemed very hyped up about those specific croissants, which worried you.
He grunts again, which annoys you. You frown and give him a shove.
"Listen, I let you drag me out of bed for Record Store Day—multiple times a year, I might add," you snap. "So I think it's only fair that I wake you up for pastries. Once we're done, we'll get a yummy treat out of it."
A pang of guilt hits him, and he finally turns over onto his back to face you. "Okay," he says drowsily. You can hardly contain your excitement as you kiss him on the lips and quickly hop off the bed. You rush into the living room to make some coffee to bring. "I'm driving!" you yell out.
******
You find parking right at the end of the block and walk up to discover that there are already five people ahead of you.
“What the hell? It’s 5:30AM on a Saturday,” you grumble. “How are we sixth in line?”
“I hardly think those five people ahead of us will buy all of the almond croissants once the doors open,” he says mid-yawn.
You both walk up behind the last person in line to take your places, sipping on your traveling mugs filled with fresh-brewed coffee.
Taehyung sighs. “What time do they open again?”
“In half an hour,” you answer.
He stifles a groan but quickly stops himself. This was something you enjoyed doing, and it would be childish of him to complain since you never do whenever he takes you with him to past RSD releases or even midnight screenings of his favorite movies. You love seeing him excited about something, and it's wonderful that he wants to share those experiences with you. This is a great opportunity for him to do the same.
As you wait, he drowsily sways behind you, occasionally resting his forehead against your shoulder blade as he fights to stay awake.
It’s five minutes before opening time, your mug is nearly empty. You turn around to find that the line has significantly grown, now stretching around the entire block.
“Guess we came at a good time, huh?” He’s more alert now after polishing off his coffee minutes ago. You smile at his enthusiasm, appreciating that he’s indulged you in your baked goods pilgrimage.
As the doors open, a delightful aroma of freshly baked bread fills the air, energizing the waiting crowd of patrons. The line moves swiftly as customers have had ample time to decide on their desired pastries while waiting.
Now it's your turn, and as you step into the bakery, you feel the warm and cozy atmosphere welcoming you, offering a refuge from the chilly fall air outside.
One of the employees behind the counter greets you and prompts you to place your order. They carefully pack everything into a box and finish it off with a red bow. When they tell you the total, Taehyung cuts in front of you, presenting his credit card with a smile and a wink at you.
While walking back to your parking spot, you unwrap the box and reach in for a chocolate almond croissant. With the first bite, you hum in appreciation. Taehyung smiles, noticing how happy and satisfied you appear. He takes the car keys from you since you drove when he was too sleepy earlier. When you settle into the passenger seat, you turn to him.
“Thank you,” you say softly.
His brows furrow. “What for?”
“For a great morning,” you beam at him.
He gazes at you affectionately. "I'd gladly wake up at 5AM to get pastries with you, just to see you smile like that."
You tilt your chin up to plant a kiss on his lips. Then, his eyes wander to the half-eaten croissant in your hand. Without warning, he bends down to take a bite. You squeal in surprise, and both of you start giggling as he ends up covered in powdered sugar and chocolate.
You reach up and use your thumb to wipe the corners of his mouth.
"You know, I can show you how grateful I really am when we get home." Your eyes remain fixed on him as you bring your finger to your lips and suck off the sugar and chocolate crumbs, ensuring to lick away any traces.
Taehyung's breath catches, and his fingers tightly grip the steering wheel. "Alright, let's hurry up and buckle that seatbelt, shall we?"
Nothing Masterlist | Main Fic Masterlist
You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!
If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜
#taehyung fanfic#taehyung x reader#taehyung x you#taehyung fanfiction#kim taehyung#taehyung fluff#bts fluff#bts taehyung#nothing x kth#bts fanfiction
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country house setting kth - part three
pairing: 19th century taehyung x reader
minors do not interact!!!
warnings (this part): age gap (10 years, readers 18, he’s 28), masturbation??, smut, smooching, some kind of breeding kink is mentioned? idk either tbh, hes soft af, sex, yandere (? he’s very obsessed with her and her innocence, still, lol), hints towards previous abuse, distant father figure, the messed up society of 19th century britain.
words: 7k
series summary: your isolated manor house has nothing interesting going on. but when the abandoned manor near to yours has a new occupant, things change. taehyung is obsessed with you from the day you first knock his door. he’d do anything for you, even if it meant going against your father’s wishes, even if it meant you losing something very important to your future marriage on the way, something that would force your fathers hand.
part one part two part three masterlist
explanation of the title: a literacy genre where fictional characters are often isolated and alone living in a country house.
A/N: its been a month since the last chapter... i am so so sorry for taking such a long time but i am really happy with this. please enjoy the little cliff hanger at the end, though we all know what the answer will be... don’t we?
Taehyung woke in the morning, bars of light that filtered through his bedroom hitting his face. Here, the sun rose and woke him every morning. It dyed everything in his room orange, a colour that seemed to light his body and fuel his very essence. He had never been a morning person, but these past few days, that seemed to have changed. Taehyung had let you sleep in, he had pressed his ear to your door, just hoping to hear you, to make sure it all hadn’t been a dream, just hearing your soft breathing through the door. He sighed, knowing you were safe.
“Care.” he had whispered into the chilly air as he climbed down the wooden stairs, being careful not to creak them and wake you up. Care was something he had not felt in a while, he had had friends in London, of course he had, but they were never the kind of friend you cared for. They were friends that were there but only when they wanted to be. It was hard to explain, hard to think about, but Taehyung did not feel a slight tinge of regret for leaving them without a note. He had loved his father, as every child loves their parents, but his care for him extended little past the age of 10, and that was over 15 years ago. He’d never met his mother, and his sister, the only one he had cared for out of all of them, had betrayed him. Care was a thing of the past, but he felt it for you… Pausing on one of the stairs, he lets that information sink in for a little bit. He had known you, what? Two days?
Now, he watches you. You're staring open mouthed at the blurb of a book you had picked up in this little bookstore. The two of you are stuffed down a thin line of two shelves of books, you’re between Taehyung and a wall, meaning that you’re completely safe, giving Taehyung an odd sense of calm he hadn’t realised he had needed, and had no need to feel, you were at a market, what was going to hurt you here? The book you had picked up read “Northanger Abbey - A Lady.” Once you had finished reading the back of the book, slowly, with your pinky nail tracing the words, you sighed, looking up at Taehyung and saying. “I didn’t know women could write!” you’re whisper- shouting with happiness. “Isn’t that amazing?” you ask him, and he only nods in response. It was amazing. You look at the book one last time, being gentle with its new, but fragile, spine you place it back on the shelf.
“Would you like the Novel?” Taehyung asks, reaching towards it. It was only 12 shillings, that was nothing to him, you were worth thousands more than that.
“Oh,” you reply, that delightful blush spreading on your cheeks when you get shy. “No, I don’t expect that of you.”
Taehyung could see that you were torn, part of you really wanted the book, the only books you had had access to were the ones in your fathers library. Y//N wanted the book. That was clear, but you also didn’t want to upset him, you didn’t want to use his money. He sighs, knowing he’ll have to work hard for you to allow him to buy this. “When was your birthday?” he asks.
“March” you reply, your head tilting to the side in confusion. “Why?”
“Then I should buy it for you, as I didn’t get you a present.”
“March was months ago!” you exclaim, a beautiful smile on your lips. “You didn’t even know me then!”
“That was very rude of me, not knowing you, let me buy it.” Taehyung grins, picking up the book and holding it at arms length from you. You don’t even try to fight him for it, you just follow behind him as you head towards the owner. He smiles at the two of you as you approach the counter. “Good Morning” Taehyung says, he can just see you smiling up at him from the corner of his eye.
“Good Morning” the man says, watching Taehyung place the book down on the desk. “Oh, thank goodness someone's finally buying this, I haven't been able to sell it in months”
“Oh! Why's that?” you exclaim, turning your mouth down with the shock of it. Was it a bad book?
“Women shouldn’t be writing” he says, turning his nose up at both you and the book. “Sewing, that's your job.”
You step back a little in shock, the man's spit pretty much hitting you in the face. Taehyung steps in front of you, holding your hand behind his back. “Thank you very much, but we’ll be leaving that here. Have a good day.” He slides the book towards the shop owner, its wooden cover making a shrill noise as he pushes it down against the wood. Then the two of you are storming from the little shop, the bell and the door tinkling and slamming behind you as Taehyung rushes into the street.
When he turns to you, he’s disappointed to see you pouting. “I am sorry” he says, looking down at you, he desperately wants to touch your face but such shows of affection in public are frowned upon. “I would have gotten you the book but-”
“It’s okay” you cut in, reaching out to hold his hand again, against his, your hand is warm. It sets flames up his arm and into his soul. “I didn’t know people could be so-”
He watches you as you pause, looking for the right word. “Rude” he finishes, and damn the public he raises his hand to your cheek, letting you find comfort in his soft touch. “I promise not everyone is rude.”
It’s an unrealistic promise, he knew for himself that kindness is less common than it should be, people like Y/N shouldn’t be exposed to the awful part of the world. He takes in a breath, refraining from storming back into the shop and punching the shop owner in the face. “Shall we go?” you ask, possibly noticing his rising anger.
“After the Dress-Makers” he replies, by then his anger would have dissipated anyway.
“Dress-Makers?!” you exclaim, pulling your hand away from his. Taehyung had half expected this reaction.
“You need dresses that fit you better.” he sighs. “Please let me buy you one.”
“Only one.” you reply, trying to sound in control.
He nods his head. Once the shop had your measurements, he could buy you as many dresses as he wanted, and you could do nothing about it. Taehyung also promised himself he would go above and beyond getting you that book, you had looked so interested in reading something that wasn’t from your fathers library.
“Then we’ll go home, dinner will be ready then” he says, watching you as a curious emotion crosses your face. “If, of course, you want to eat with me.”
“I would appreciate that.” you reply, looking to the floor with that shy blush again, it makes Taehyung's stomach flip.
***
“Where have you been all day?” your father shouts from his study. Obviously, much to your displeasure he was very aware of your absence, you had thought that you had just maybe gotten away with it. You were still on a high, flying amongst the clouds with the birds from your day with Taehyung and you were struggling to find the lie that you knew you would ultimately tell him.
“Walking the grounds!” you shout back, making your way up the stairs quickly so he wouldn’t see the dress you had borrowed from Taehyung's sister. Your father could be rude and inconsiderate, but he would definitely notice your different clothes. When he doesn’t reply, you realise you’d gotten away with it, and after shutting the door to your bedchamber / art room, you allow yourself to fly onto your bed, little specks of dust catapulting upwards with your disturbance. They dance around each other in the bars of light. Taehyung had insisted on walking you home, naturally, and he had kissed you again on your doorstep the way he had the night before. With one hand tangled through your hair and another gripping your waist. You realise how naive you felt in that moment, you had never known that such things as this were possible, and now, staring at your awful painting of two people kissing across your room you almost debate chucking it into the fire. Yet, despite your naivety, you knew there was more, there was more to a kiss than what Taehyung had already shown you. You could tell because, even when he pulled away from you, you could still see his hands itching to keep hold of you, to do more. You just didn’t know what that was, and you desperately wanted to.
Tomorrow you will go to dinner with him again. You had met Victoria today, his maid, and you had loved her, her food had been amazing too. She had fussed over you this morning like no one had ever before, correcting your corset and pinning your hair back in light curls, something you hadn’t even known you were supposed to do. All of that had to go before you came home though, your father would definitely be suspicious if your hair was styled in the modern fashion. You sigh, half hoping your father would move to London for a month like he used to do years ago. It was always at the most random of times, and you would be left to roam the grounds and house with little restraint. He hadn’t been on one of those trips in over nine months, so that hope was out the window.
All you wanted was for you and Taehyung to be alone forever. You had known each other for two days, but you knew that it was right.
***
Months flew by. Most nights you would go to Taehyungs and eat, but you didn’t sleep there again. He kissed you whenever he got the chance, his hands roaming more comfortably around the rest of your body, but he hadn’t gone any further with you, a further that you knew existed just out of your grasp. There were a few times where you nearly got caught, like now, your father knocking the door when your head is resting comfortably against Taehyung's shoulder, the two of you just talking and watching the fire flicker. You had to hide upstairs whilst your father discussed a very important matter.
“Good Evening, sir” Taehyung greeted him as he opened the door, he did well at hiding the shock from his voice. “You are more than welcome to come in.”
You can imagine him stepping aside to let your father into his home, somewhere that had been free of his taint for months. “Thank you, but I am in a little bit of a rush.”
“That is not a problem. How can I help you, sir?” Taehyung replies, with perfect calm and patience in his voice.
“It is just that I have received an urgent message, business you see, to return to London for a month.” you can almost hear the sigh in his voice. “I would appreciate it if you could watch over the grounds for me. Y/N should be home, but I would be a fool to trust the incompatibility of women these days. You don’t mind, do you?” There's an odd humor to his last phrase that has your stomach hitting the floor. Your value to your father seemed to lessen and lessen with each passing day.
“No problem at all.” Taehyung replies, you can hear the tightness in his voice, with the want to defend you. Your stomach that had hit the floor rises again. A whole month with just the two of you. Bliss. Paradise. A miracle. “When will you be leaving?” he asks.
“By sunrise tomorrow, I would like to be on the road before Dawn.”
This really was a last minute trip. Wonderful.
“I will come up and make sure everything is in order as you leave, I will see you in the morning sir.” Taehyung says, in his voice, a sense of command that even your father could and would not deny.
You assume your father nods his thankfulness as the door shuts downstairs. You worry momentarily that he had been looking for you, and you weren’t home. “Y/N” Taehyung shouts, pulling you from your thoughts. “He has gone!”
You're sprinting down the stairs, holding your dress so as to not fall, Taehyung is at the bottom, arms open wide, waiting for you to fall into them. You do, wrapping your arms tightly around him, and he does the same, pulling you tight to him and kissing your head. “You better run home,” he laughs. “He’ll be looking for you soon.”
Morning comes around quickly, your outside helping load all your fathers bags onto the carriage when Taehyung appears over the hill, it takes every strength in your body not to move to him, as you were so used to doing now. He greets your father, shaking his hand. Then he’s helping you move bags, the three of you working in an odd harmony. Once everything was loaded, and your father nods goodbye as he climbs into the cabin. You allow yourself to feel the first itches of happiness, of joy. “Goodbye Father” you say, waving as you watch the coachman push forward the horses, the carriage slowly inching away from you. Taehyung and yourself stand and watch as the carriage disappears into the distance, you wait for a while, to make sure he won’t turn around again. Once you’re sure he’s not coming back, you turn to Taehyung and smile.
There's a small grin settled on his lips, as if he is holding back a huge smile. He tilts his head at you before glancing at the house. As you turn to look at your home, with your attention away from him, he sees an opening and you squeal as he sweeps you up from the ground. Carrying you along to your door with one arm under your knees and the other under your back. You giggle as he leads you up to your home. “Show me your art again.” he asks. Unlike before, you're happy to comply. You had wanted to show him for so long. He drops you to your feet at the bottom of the stairs and you race him to the top, a race he could have easily won, but he stays behind you to catch you if you fell, or to humor your childish side that would only be happy when you won. At the top he glances down once to your heaving chest, spreading a blush across your cheeks, before allowing you to take his hand and lead you towards your chamber. Your art had improved a lot since he had last seen it. Trading in the majority of your landscape art for pictures of the most important thing in your life at the moment. Him:
Taehyung stood outside the house, his back lent against a pillar as he pulled smoke from a pipe.
Taehyung’s hand in yours, something that had taken you ages to master.
Taehyung with his head tilted to the side in anger as he slides a book back towards the owner.
Taehyung walking through the fields, holding one of your new parasols in his hand as the rain falls around him.
Nearly every painting had a connection to him, he stands open mouthed at your door, his eyes flicking between the paintings and you.
Just over a month ago, you had realised that you had loved Taehyung. At first you panicked, and didn't see him for days. Love was for people who were married, love outside of marriage was a sin, that's what you had thought anyway. But you grew to not care. Marriage or not, you loved him, and there was no undoing that. You hoped that today that same love would get across through your art. Every moment you spent painting him had been the epitome of your love for him. But now, as he stands there with an open mouth you wonder if this is perhaps a little weird, this surely wasn’t a normal thing to do, maybe he had taken it the wrong way. Perhaps he saw you as mad.
“You make a good model” you say, hoping to break through the silence. Luckily, he laughs, turning to you and grabbing your hand. You relax, he wasn’t mad. He wasn’t about to call you a fool and storm from your house. To your surprise, he leads you to your desk, sitting you down on your wooden chair and crouching on the floor between your legs, he's staring up at you and you find yourself blushing.
“Taehyung?” you whisper, hoping for an answer to this uncharacteristic behavior.
“What does all of this mean Y/N” he asks, and your stomach drops, this suddenly feels like an interrogation. You gulp, hoping some divine being will answer this for you. You realise you’ve been sitting in silence for a long time when you speak.
“Um, well, they are paintings of you.” you close your eyes, hoping the confession will be easier without looking at him. “And I painted them because you mean a lot to me.”
You open your eyes again. “Is that all?” he asks. His head tilted to the side as it did when he was both confused and angry.
You knew that this thing that you had with Taehyung was not eternal. The only thing that made something like this eternal was marriage, and considering he hadn’t settled down, and he was already 28, you doubted that it was on the cards for him at all. What makes you say the next thing, you are not sure. Perhaps it was the years spent in your manor, like Rapunzel, and it was Taehyung that had saved you, a knight in shining armor. Perhaps it was how you were sure that Taehyung already knew. But whatever it was, the words fell from your lips like they were meant to be. “Because I love you.”
Time and space freeze around the two of you. For a moment, you think Taehyung will get up and leave, he twitches as if holding back from doing that very thing. “It's okay if you need to go.” You say, trying to feign understanding instead of feeling complete disappointment, you lace your hand through his hair, letting the soft strands fall through your fingers like waves. It's an oddly intimate moment, with that confession hanging between the two of you, your promise that he could go, yet you're holding him down by touching him. He buries his face into your dress, it's an odd action that makes you freeze up, in doing this he has obscured his face from your eyes. “Taehyung?” you murmur, hoping for at least a response to your confession, was he staying or going?
Your shoes are being slipped off before you have the chance to even say anything, then Taehyung appears from the folds of your dress with a gummy smile on his face. All you can do is say his name again in confusion. Both shoes are placed slightly away from you on the floor, Taehyung had brought those for you, much to your displeasure. You had never wanted to abuse his kindness. He doesn’t reply to his name, in fact, you’re sure you're staring at a man you had never met before, he had never done anything like this. His hands run up from your feet, up your stocking covered calf. His arm was completely under your dress, fingers playing with the clasp of your stockings just above your knee. All of this, and he's staring directly at your face, watching every reaction that you make. He’s so close to you, the warm skin of his hand against your bare thighs has a feeling starting up in your lower stomach that almost makes you want to pee. You had felt like this around him before, when you were kissing, but never to this extent. Thinking that there's something wrong with you, you try to slide away on the chair, but Taehyung's finger is wrapped around your stockings and you can’t move.
“What is it?” he says, genuine concern plastering his face, it’s the first thing he's spoken to you since you said it.
“Feel like I need to use the bathroom” you say with a blush so profound that it feels like it covers your whole face. Instead of moving away from you and letting you use the toilet, Taehyung only smiles, a comforting light shining in his eyes.
“You don’t need the bathroom, your body is reacting to me.” he says, and it's the most scandalous thing you've heard him say. You’d spent all these months wondering what came beyond a kiss, and your body had known all this time. “Are you okay?”
“Yes” you breathe. The air around you lit by the morning sun lights up every small, beautiful, feature of Taehyung like the mole on the end of his nose, and the one on the right side of his lower lip. This is a moment you would paint. His hands rolling down one of your stockings, placing the delicate material to the side as he placed kisses to the inside of your legs, running his hands up and down your soft skin. You felt like you had ascended into another world.
“Tell me if you need me to stop” he says, hooking his finger around your other stocking, and as he pulls it down your leg, peppering kisses as he goes you say,
“No. Don’t. Never stop” which seems to spark something in his eyes. Something untamable, and this time he chucks your stockings behind his head instead of placing them lightly to the side. You watch them as they fall on the side of one of your paintings, the stocking soaking up and blurring the fresh paint. You couldn’t bring yourself to care. In fact, you wanted Taehyung to ruin everything about you, and paint it fresh. Only him.
With your dress above your knees, Taehyung has one of your legs flung over one of his shoulders. Constantly kneading the flesh of your calf. Then, he's stepping back, standing above you as you fight to regain the breathing you didn't realise you lost. He stands there for a moment, just watching your chest heave against the confinements of your corset. "Do you wish to keep going?" He asks.
"Yes, please" you say, reaching a hand up to him. He takes it, the rustling of your dress the only sound as he pulls you from the chair. He pulls you onto his lips, his mouth catching yours easily, he does what he always does, putting a hand on your waist, holding you close to him as all the blood in your body rushes to your lower stomach. Then he's walking you backwards, weaving you through all your paint points and paintings. There's a humorous side to it that has you smiling into the kiss. You weren't sure where he was taking you, but you let him take you there. When your legs hit the cold metal of the side of your bed, you tense a little. Taehyung pulls away from the kiss, placing a light kiss to your forehead, but he keeps you close, both arms around you, smiling down at you.
"Do you know where this is going?" He asks. playing with the laces at the back of your dress.
"No," you say. You had very little idea of the adult world, you'd read a book once 'A maiden's guide to marriage.' you assumed it had been your mother's before she married your dad. Sex. But you had assumed that was something only married people could do. 'Sex outside of matrimony is a sin" the book had read. "Is it a sin?" You ask, looking up at him with wide eyes.
"Are you calling me a sinner?" He asks, returning that same open eyed vulnerability to you. Alongside it is a playful smile, one that has you smiling back.
"Perhaps" you say. Smiling.
"Normally this is reserved for marriage" he says, tilting his head.
"I know" you breathe as he begins to pull at the laces of your dress.
"Okay" he breathes, he leans down, going for a kiss, but instead of your lips he kisses your neck and all you can do is whine. You had never made such a noise before in your life. Tangling in the delicate laces, his fingers undo your dress, you suddenly feel the weight of this situation.
"Will I be ruined?" you whisper, as he sucks at your neck. Though he pulls away from you to reply, a frown seated on his lips.
"Maybe, in the prying eyes of society. Yes." at his words, you feel your mouth flatten into a frown.
"Will you see me as ruined?" you ask.
"No. Never." He's holding the side of your face, peppering kisses on your hairline. His other hand stays behind your back, holding your dress together. "We don't have to do anything" he reminds you, nothing but sincerity in his eyes. You remember what you had thought earlier, that you wanted Taehyung to ruin every single part of you. You had meant that,
"I want to do this" you say, staring into the delicious deep brown of his eyes. "With you." Your voice is sure, you're confident you'll be fine. All that matters is Taehyung stays with you even after, and you know he will, maybe not in marriage but always in friendship.
"I'm going to let go of this now." he says, giving a light tug on the laces of the dress that he's holding up to indicate what he's talking about. Just before he does he tells you "I'm going to talk you through every step of this, so you know if you need to tell me to stop."
You manage to murmur an "Okay" before your dress is released. It falls, pooling around your waist. Left exposed to the eyes of Taehyung and the cool air, your skin rises into little bumps. The intricate details of your corset is what holds your breasts into place as Taehyung does nothing but stare at you. "Taehyung?" you whisper, hoping to distract him from you.
"Mmmh" he replies, looking up at your eyes. "What's wrong?"
"You were staring" you reply, the need to pull away from him and fold into yourself is overwhelming.
"Because you're so beautiful" he smiles back, bunching your dress up in his hands, as if to pull it over your head. "Could stare at you for hours, I'm going to pull this over your head now, okay?"
You think you murmur okay, but everything seems a little blurry to you. Either way, you allow him to pull your dress over your head, raising your arms to help him get easier access. “See,” he begins “Absolutely beautiful.” he leans down, pressing a kiss to each side of your chest, all whilst maintaining eye contact with you. He folds up your dress carefully, placing it on the back of your wooden chair. It was the first dress he had brought you, the same day as the man at the bookshop spat in your face for being a woman. It was difficult being a woman, you had known that before Taehyung, but that day had solidified it for you. Taehyung kisses you on the forehead. “Now for these.”
He kisses you on the neck, sucking harsh marks onto your skin, whilst pulling at the laces of your undergarments. “If you need me to stop-”
“No, don’t stop,” you say. He smiles before doing as you requested and not stopping, he pulls down your undergarments, hardly even looking at you below the waist despite being completely bare to him, then he’s onto your corset, untying the the bow quickly, delicately pulling apart the laces and slipping it over your head. You cover your breasts on instinct, once he’s placed your corset gently to the side, he stares at you with such softness in his eyes, such kindness, that when he reaches up to pull your hands away, you let him. He stares at you for a moment, you wonder if he notices that one seems ever so slightly bigger than the other. You wonder if he’s judging you.
You were unsure if this was how it worked, you being completely bare and him being completely clothed, but Taehyung didn’t seem to care either way. He mumbles something you don’t catch, before practically headbutting your left breast, causing you to cry out as he sucks at one of your nipples. He has his hands on your bum cheeks, holding you in place as he pulls at your nipples with his teeth, your head thrown back in pleasure, you had never felt anything like this in your life.
“Oh my goodness” you breathe, your hands felt empty, so you threaded them through Taehyung's hair. He switches nipples, the sensation remains painful but you feel like you’re floating on a cloud. Some instinct takes over you, knowing that this can’t go any further if Taehyung remains completely clothed, you begin to fiddle with the top buttons of his shirt, hoping that they’d pop open. He whines as your fingers brush his skin, it’s as if your touch distracts him away from your breasts as he pulls away and helps you unbutton his shirt. He’s breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down under your palms, and so are you as you see his skin, touch his skin. His chest is soft to the touch, his stomach smooth under your hands. His shirt joins your dress on the other side of the room, all you can do is stare at him, at the way he’s shaped, how smooth he looks. You run your hands up and down his body, even when he’s leading you backwards on the bed, until your back touches the neatly organised sheets. He hovers over you, his knee slotted in between your thighs, the fabric from his trousers rubs blissfully against your naked centre.
“Are you okay?” he asks, when you nod eagerly he smiles. “I wanna go down on you, but we’ll save that for another time”
“Down on-?” you begin, confused at this new term.
“I’ll explain it another time. Can you open your legs?” you do as you’re instructed, the new phrase being quickly forgotten as he stands up, looking down at you wide open for him. Taehyung reaches down, grabbing your hand lightly. You think he’s going to kiss it, like they do at balls and dances, but instead he leads it down your body, resting it atop the small mound of hair above your area. “Can you touch yourself? Need to make sure you’re super prepped and comfortable.”
With the way he talks, the surety that you know what you're doing, you’re almost embarrassed to say that you didn’t know what that was, you had never touched yourself in your life, only in the bath, and that had only been to clean. With the painting of confusion sketched into your features, Taehyung’s mouth falls to the side. You feel wrong, as if you had missed out on something important in your life. “I am sorry” you apologise, feeling guilty for your naivety.
He doesn’t respond, instead he starts undoing the laces of his trousers, pulling them down over his legs and kicking them to the side, leaving him in just his undergarments, you almost wish he had taken them off too. Then he drops to his knees, his face level with your intimate area. You can feel his breath against your skin. “What do you know about being a woman?” he asks. When you reply with,
“Not much”
He kisses the inside of your thigh. “Place your hand here.” he says, indicating for you to put your palm on your mound of hair, and you do. “Use your middle finger to rub this spot. I am going to touch you.” When you don’t stop him, he reaches up between your legs and presses his finger straight on what seemed to be a ball of nerves, for you’re almost shooting up the bed with the sudden shocking pleasure of it. “This is your clitoris,” he says. “It makes you feel good.”
You do as you’re told, using your finger to lightly rub around the clitoris, it felt so good, you could see what Taehyung meant. Whilst you circle this new discovery, Taehyung stands up again, watching your hand as he undoes the final laces of his undergarments. You wanted to throw your head back, but you also wanted to watch him. This part, you had been expecting. Somehow, as you had grown up, regardless if it had it been from the animals that surrounded you on the farms or just some kind of knowledge that everyone was born with, but you knew that that was a penis, and in that moment you knew that it was to go inside of you. Taehyung's penis, was beautiful, and had you ever seen another penis in your life, before or after this moment, you know it could not have been compared to Taehyungs. It was quite big, and you wondered what part of you could accommodate such a thing as that, it was also hard, erect, pressing against his stomach like something or someone had angered it. You’re sure your mouth falls open with shock. You don’t miss the smug smile that adorns his lips, this was something he was proud of. You could see why.
You feel so safe with him, so at home, that when he runs a finger through the folds of skin just below your clit, you only revel in the feeling of his skin on yours, the shock of pleasure it sends up your core. He mutters something about being “wet” before climbing back on top of you, moving your hand away from your clit at the same time. “Are you ready?” he asks. You nod your head, but before he does anything he leans down, connecting your lips. The two of you stay like that for a while, Taehyung relaxes his arms that were holding him up from touching your body. He’s pressed against you entirely, his shaft pressing into your thigh. You had never been close to someone so emotionally as this. You feel so safe, so loved, you almost cry. This is where you wanted to be for eternity, between Taehyung and bedsheets. When he pulls away from the kiss, his eyes are dilated, wide as if he was holding something feral back, he hides the animalistic look from his eyes by leaning down to kiss your neck.
When he pulls away again, leaving angry welts on your neck, his eyes are soft again. “Are you okay?” you ask him, running your hands up and down his arms.
“Yeah, are you?” he asks.
“Yeah. I am good.” you reply, the two of you smiling.
“It might hurt, we don’t have to do this, if you’re not ready.” he presses a kiss to your forehead.
“I am ready. I trust you.”
“Okay” he breathes, as he presses up to your center. “I am going to push my cock in now.”
Cock. That was another new one. You don’t have long to think about it as he pushes his cock against your entrance. It takes him a considerable deal of effort to even push past an inch of you, but he stops, letting you adjust to the intrusion and the feeling of him inside of you.
This was either hell, indicated by the pain this brought. Or heaven, due to the sparks you felt coming from your core, the warmth spreading along every bone in your body. Probably hell you think, this was a sin. Taehyung watches every breath you make, every look on your face as he pushes in another inch. Tears prick into your eyes here, but Taehyung kisses them away, his heart-shaped lips wet from the moisture of your eyes. “Just breathe,” he suggests. You had stopped breathing at some point, holding your breath in pain, but when you breathe again, steadily and heavily, the pain wears off.
“I am okay,” you smile up at him. And in the attempts to make a joke, you say “Push your cock in more.”
“Don’t say that again” he replies, muttering something about “innocence” before doing as you instructed anyways, pushing himself in another inch. He does this a couple more times until your pubic bones are flush against each other and you can feel him so deep into your stomach it's impossible to think of anything else beyond him, beyond how good you felt. There was pain there, waiting to flare up, waiting to protrude over the pleasure, but for the moment all you felt was a tightening pressure in your core. Taehyung spends this time running his lips up and down your skin, kissing over your scrunched up eyes, and asking you every couple of seconds if you were okay, each time you replied with a breathless yes.
He pulls out, glancing down at his slick covered cock, before starting the process all over again, this time faster. The pain flares and dwindles again, like a flame.
Again, he pulls out, pushes in, slowly.
Pulls out, pushes in.
Until he’s not pulling out completely, his movements fluid, like the brook between your houses as he transitions from pushing to pulling. The pain was non-existent now. With your eyes rolled back into your head, and your hands gripping onto his arms, your nails scratching down his back, you never want this to end. “Feels so good” you manage to say, your breath caught on each push in of his cock.
“It’s only me that can make you feel like this” he tells you, he looks half out of it now, his eyes distant but still loving. “Only me.”
“Only you.” There's a surge of pressure in your stomach, a building power that you were almost too scared to let free. Somehow, your body seems to communicate this to Taehyung.
“Don’t look so scared, it's an orgasm, it’ll feel amazing.” he moans a little before speaking again. “Let it go.”
You do. Obeying him. White light blinds you, but you can still see Taehyung moving in and out of your vision with every thrust. It's like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, nothing you will experience again unless it was with Taehyung. It’s like jumping off a cliff, enjoying the view as you fall, like a brutal ending, or a happy one. This was a fairytale, a fantasy you hadn’t known you were waiting for. The bliss of feeling so full of him, so consumed by him. You never wanted this to end, you wanted him to be inside of you forever, he fitted so well. Through your orgasm he sucks on the flesh around your nipples again, leaving red marks over your upper body. You never wanted these marks to leave, you wanted them to be an eternal product of your love for Taehyung. You are completely out of it for a moment, but when you return to clarity, even with all your limbs tingling, the sensation of Taehyung's thrusting seems to have increased tenfold, it hurts in a beautiful way.
He smiles at you, it's a soft smile, before wincing in pleasure and thrusting faster, already you can feel another pressure in your lower stomach. “I'm close,” he mumbles, bringing one of his hands down to press onto your clit.
***
Taehyung couldn’t think. Couldn’t think beyond how good this felt, how close he was and how desperately he wanted to bring you along with him for a second time. Your face when you had orgasmed the first time was unforgettable, he had never heard someone moan so loudly in his life, face scrunched up in that tumbling feeling of pleasure. He had done that to you, and he was damned for being proud. No one would ever get this experience of you again, he knew that, could see the future now. So he sucked at your breasts again, marking you as his for everyone else to see.
The second he touched your clit he knew you were close again, tightening around him like a vice. “Together” he manages to say, refraining from going too fast and hurting you. When he orgasms, his essence shooting into you with each sloppy thrust, he contemplates the use of his seed, beyond pleasure. As he watches you writhe under him, twisting and turning in the sheets as you orgasm again, shocked with the feeling of his cum inside of you, he’s shocked to realise he wants to get you pregnant. Wants to see your stomach rounded with the product of this, have versions of you and him running around in his life. He had never wanted this before, been too scared to have this before. Tears well up in the corner of his eyes, tears that you brush away as they fall down his cheeks and he goes soft inside of you. He should be embarrassed, men shouldn’t cry. But you didn’t judge him, he felt safe.
Damn the knees and the rings. He thinks as he falls against you, smothering you in his weight, but remaining inside of you, plugging his seed into you until it could take root. He tries to speak, but it comes out inaudible, something like “mazer ze.”
Which only makes you laugh. “Sorry?” you ask, a massive smile on your face.
This time, his words came out right. “Marry me.”
Your smile drops, eyes going wide. “My father-”
“Don’t think of him, we’ll find a way around him, only think of me.”
#country house setting#kim taehyung#kim taehyung smut#taehyung#taehyung smut#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#bts smut#bts#bts fanfiction#bts fic#kth smut#BTS KTH
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let me take a picture (kth)
beauty can be captured in many ways, for professor Kim Taehyung that is taking naughty photos of his favorite student
Pairing: Professor!Taehyung x Fem!Reader
Theme: One shot; college au, SMUT, PWP, fluff
Word Count: 5.9K
Warnings: explicit photos; sexual tension; dirty talk; swearing; sir kink; edging; orgasm denial (kinda); oral sex & fingering (f receiving); handjob (kinda); p in v penetration; unprotected sex + crempie (use a CONDOM)
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It’s a Wednesday afternoon and you await your professor in your photography class. You have always been into photography ever since you were young. You loved taking pictures of flowers and bugs with your grandma. She let you borrow her camera one time, and afterwards you were obsessed. You wished for a camera like hers for your 6th birthday, and to your surprise, you got one. In fact, you still have that camera from 14 years ago, but it now sits in your closet catching dust. You knew you wanted to go to a college that had the photography programs you desired and you stumbled upon one college. You remember reading the class description and were amazed at the programs and opportunities they had in the course. So you did the only rational thing which was to apply and hope and pray you got in. About 4 weeks later, you got an email saying you were accepted and you cried your eyes out. You were so excited on your first day to meet your classmates, take new photos and especially meet your professor. Under the details of the course, you found out the professor was a man named Kim Taehyung. You recognized the name as he is famous in the photography business. He has won many awards in the past for his photos, and you look up to him. Not only is he your professor, but he is also extremely hot. There is no flaw on that man's face. This had bloomed a little crush in your heart when you first started attending his class. Of course, you knew nothing would happen because you’re his student and he’s your professor, but you always hoped for something. As you have done the course for about a year now, you got to know your classmates better as well as your professor. You became more comfortable with everybody, along with Mr. Kim. He’s been a big inspiration for your photos and sometimes you would secretly take pictures of him without him knowing. But because you got to know him better, your crush faded away slowly. Sure, there’s still something there, but you see him as your professor, nothing more.
You put your hand in your palm and sigh while looking out the window. You think about what you will take a photo of today. Just then you hear the door open as your eyes meet Mr. Kim coming in with a bunch of papers in one hand along with his coffee in the other. He wore a black barre hiding his light brown hair, paired with a white dress shirt and some black dress pants with a belt. For shoes he wore his white sneakers. “Good morning class! Sorry I’m late, the line at Dunkin’ was super long.” You chuckle at his comment as your eyes follow him over to his desk. He sets down his coffee along with his papers and sits down. He goes through the papers and starts to organize them. “What are you thinking about taking a photo of, Y/N?” asks your friend next to you. You look over to her. “I think maybe one of the new flowers the gardening club planted yesterday.” She nods as you look back over at Mr. Kim. He sips his coffee as his eyes set on one of the papers. His eyes then widen. You wonder what it’s about as you see a faint blush form on his face. He then looks away from the paper and clears his throat before swiftly putting it into one of the drawers on his desk. You make eye contact with him and speedily look away. After a couple seconds, you look back over at him as he gets out his camera and looks around at the class, “who’s ready for some photos?”
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You’re now outside and it’s a bit dewy. You look up at the clouds and they’re colored gray as the forecast said it should rain soon. You look over at Mr. Kim. “Alright class, for today’s lesson I want us to capture the ambience of life. Now, that may be different for everybody. It may be the gloomy clouds or the plain of trees. Whatever it is, I want you to take a photo of it and give me your story behind it.” You all nod and go your separate ways. You know you still want to take a photo of a flower, but finding the meaning with Mr. Kim’s prompt will be harder than you thought. You make your way over to the patch of flowers, crouch down, and think of which one to take a picture of. Your eyes catch some pink Dahlias that have a single drop of water on one of them. You think that this will do, take off the cover of your camera lens, and turn on your camera. You then position the lens towards the flowers and zoom in a bit. You close one of your eyes and snap the picture. You then go to the gallery on your camera and look at it. “What did you take a picture of, Ms. L/N?” You look up and see Mr. Kim towering over you. “A pink Dahlia,” you reply, looking back at the picture. “And how does that relate to today’s prompt?” he asks as you think of a response. You could say that flowers are like beauty and beauty can be flawed or explain how Dahlias symbolize love and love doesn’t always go the way you want it. You hear Mr. Kim chuckle and you look back up at him. “What did I say about taking pictures without context, Ms. L/N?” “Oh, no um…” you look away. “Flowers represent growth and everybody has their growing pains.” You look back up at Mr. Kim to see his approval as he nods. You form a slight grin on your face and look away. You hear Mr. Kim clear his throat as he bends down towards you to look you directly in the face. “Please see me after class, Ms. L/N.” Your face turns towards him and he’s only inches away from your lips. He then straightens up again and walks away. You can’t help but wonder what he wants.
You and your class soon return inside since it started to rain a bit. You look out the window and it’s already pouring hard. You look back at your photo in the solution, wondering how you will get home after class since you don’t have a car yet and you would most definitely miss the bus staying after class. You then hear the door open and see your friend walk in. “Hey! I finally found something to take a picture of!” she says, shutting the door behind her. “That’s great!” you reply. She comes by your side and puts her photo in the solution. “So… you think Mr. Kim is looking pretty handsome today?” She asks, nudging at your arm. You both chuckle. “I guess so,” you reply. “Oh, come on Y/N! He’s so handsome! Didn’t you have a crush on him?” You look down at your picture and smile. “I did, but… I don’t think I do now.” She scoffs at your answer. “Well then, I guess I have Mr. Kim all to myself.” You snicker at her comment as you grab your photo out of the solution and get some clothespins. You then hang your photo on the fishing line and walk out the door. Once you make it back to the classroom, you make a beeline for your table as you crouch down to your backpack. You rummage through your bag and open your pencil pouch. You frown when you realize you don’t have a sharpie and you will probably have to get one from Mr. Kim. Just then you see Mr. Kim out of the corner of your eye handing out sharpies to all the tables. He makes it to your spot as you take the sharpie and maintain eye contact with him.
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The minutes have passed and your photo is developed and ready. You uncap your sharpie and write “growing pains” at the bottom of the photo. You then cap it again and get up from your table. You make your way to the whiteboard and hang your photo up with one of Mr. Kim’s magnets. You then take a step back and look at everybody else’s photos. One thing we always do after we get done with our photos is look at the others, giving some type of critique and/or praise. You see that Mr. Kim got up from his desk to join the crowd of students by the whiteboard. He proceeds into the middle beside you and you look up at him, taking in his beauty a bit before looking back at the board. You hear one of your classmates is about to speak when Mr. Kim puts his hand up. “I would love to do critiques right now, but I have other work to do. We will pick this back up tomorrow.” You’re surprised he ended class this abruptly, but he must be really busy. Everybody goes to get their bags and you do too when you forget that Mr. Kim wanted you to stay. You wait for all of your classmates to leave as you see your friend put her backpack over her shoulders. She then looks at you. “You coming, Y/N?” she asks. “I forgot I need to do something, so go ahead without me,” you reply. She looks confused for a second, nods and leaves the classroom. You realize that was the last of everybody, and you look back over at Mr. Kim. He takes another sip of his coffee as he stares at you with his dark eyes. He sets his coffee cup down and gets up from his desk. “Please follow me, Ms. L/N.” You come with him into his office as he locks the door behind you. You’re confused about why he locked the door. Are you in trouble? You see him make his way behind his desk and sit down. He then sighs and looks back up at you and motions you to sit down as well. You sit in the chair across from him. “The reason I brought you in after class, Ms. L/N, is that…” he trails off and looks away. “You see, we photographers get many opportunities for different projects and we can either reject them or work on them based on how much the pay is… and this morning I was going through these papers of opportunities I got and came across one that caught my attention, which is why I brought you in today, Ms. L/N.” He looks back up at you as you wonder what the opportunity is. “Do you remember our model unit, Ms. L/N?” he asks. “Yes I do,” you reply. “Well, I was wondering if you would like to be a model for this opportunity.” Your eyes widen, a model? You don’t think you’re confident enough for that. “I know what you’re thinking, but I think you would be perfect for this shoot,” he reassures you. “What’s the shoot?” you ask as you see a small smirk form on Mr. Kim’s face. “I’ll get to that soon, but before…” he opens a drawer, pulls out a piece of paper, and sets it on the desk in front of you. “I’m going to need your consent first.” You look down at the paper as he grabs a pen from his pen cup. He hands it to you as you start to read the consent form. You skim through it and your eyes gradually widen at what it’s for. You tremble a bit and look back up at him. “A porn magazine?!” you exclaim as he sighs. “If you don’t want to, I understand Y/N… but I did say you would be perfect for this shoot.” His eyes are filled with lust and you shiver at his expression. You look back down at the paper and wonder if you should accept it or not. I mean, it is for porn and a bunch of men will be jerking off to your image, but you look down at the payment and your eyes widen, $600?! You could use that money to save for the new car you want. You lick your lips and think of the pros and cons before clicking the pen and signing your name. You see Mr. Kim smirk as he takes the paper from you. “I knew you would say yes, Ms. L/N.” He then puts it away before grabbing his camera. He gets up and makes his way towards you, helping you out of the chair. “I’m going to need you to take off your dress, shoes, and socks for me.” You blush at his words and fidget with the hem of your dress. “Could you look away, Mr. Kim?” He nods and turns around. You sigh and begin to take off your dress along with your shoes and socks. You hold your clothing in your hands. You guess it was a good idea that you wore some lingerie today. It’s a light blue color with some delicate lace. “Mr. Kim, where do you want me to set my clothes?” “On my desk is fine.'' You do as he says and he turns around. His eyes widen at your body as he clicks his tongue in his mouth. You blush at his actions and look away. “Alright pretty, let’s start shall we?” You nod as he brings his camera up to his face. “Alright, I want you to be as natural as you can be but with a bit of sexiness.” You blush again and try to pose the way you were told to. His camera flashes and you do another pose. One thing you learned during the model unit was that models have to change positions or poses for each photo, whether it be slightly or largely. It’s a good thing that you learned this tip for this shoot. He takes a couple more pictures. “Now I want you to look into the camera for these next photos.” You do as he says and look into the camera lens. It’s a bit difficult because the flash is on, but you get used to it. He then lowers the camera out from his face and smiles down at it. “Almost done love, I just have to take a few up-close shots.” You nod as he comes closer to you and you faintly blush. His camera lens comes close to your chest and you try to pose naturally, but it’s not going well because of how close he is. You clear your throat as he finishes the shoot. He smiles down at his camera again and then takes the strap off of his shoulder. “Thank you for the help Ms. L/N, I’ll be giving you your payment tomorrow.” You nod as he makes it behind his desk. You let out a sigh and pick up your clothes. You’re about to put your dress back on when you hear Mr. Kim speak. “Because you were such a good model for me… would my good little student like a reward?” He asks as he slowly comes towards you, backing you into the wall. You look up at him and he smirks. “Are you flirting with me, Mr. Kim?” you ask. “Flirting? Me?” He chuckles. “Oh my darling student, if I was flirting you would definitely know.” You look at him trying to see what he’s getting at and you chuckle. “Well, if you were… how would it go?” “Oh, you want to know how it would go?” He lets out a breath. “Are you looking for more lessons to learn, hm?” You nod as he chuckles. “Well, I would stand…'' he moves closer to you. “A bit closer to you, and you would be standing against the wall like this. Mhm.'' He then puts one of his hands near your head. “Rest my hand against the wall so you’d be surrounded by me but you could always step away if you wished.” He then licks his lips. “I would ask you…” he leans in towards your ear to whisper, “what perfume are you wearing?” His low, gruff voice sends shivers down your spine. “And I’d lean in very, very close” He’s mere inches away from your lips now as you tremble a bit in anticipation. “And…” he leans in towards your ear again, “breathe you in.'' You feel a pool of your wetness forming in your patines as you whimper a bit. He leads back towards your face and lightly smirks, “And then… I would pull back, but only slightly so that I can look down into your beautiful eyes and tell you that you smell like heaven and ask…'' he huffs a bit, “do you taste like heaven as well?” He then leans down and kisses you. Your eyes widen at his action but you soon melt right in and kiss him back. You guys make out for a little and you drop the clothes in your arms to wrap your arms around his neck. You deepen the kiss as his hands meet your waist pulling you in. He then breaks the kiss and leans back a bit. “Did you like your lesson?” He goes in for another kiss that is more passionate and filled with some lust. He breaks the kiss and you both try to catch your breaths. “Yes” “Yes what?” He says. You’re confused at first about what he wants, but you then realize your answer. “Yes sir.” He chuckles a bit. “Sir” he repeats back. “Good girl. Now… don’t you think my good student deserves her reward?” You nod as he smirks, “well then… what’s the magic word?” “Please sir” you say in a tone with a bit of lust. “That’s right. Come here.” He kisses you again and without breaking the kiss, he leads you over to his desk. He then pushes the papers off his desk and sets you down on it. He breaks the kiss and looks at you with eyes filled with lust. “I knew you wanted me from the first time you came into my room, Y/N. You always had so much neediness.” “Well, I didn’t know you wanted me,” you reply. “I always have,” he says as he spreads your legs with his hands. “You were just too good to not… devour.” He growls the last part which leads you to moan. He then lets out a low chuckle and looks down at your panties. “Somebody’s a mess, isn’t she?” He asks as he hooks his finger around the rim of your panties. You whimper and nod as he smirks. “Well, don’t worry… I can help you with that,” he says as he takes off your panties with a swift movement. You gasp at the cold air hitting your wet lips. “Now place your feet on the arms of my chair.” You do as you’re told and you see him scoot in. He then growls. “Good girl. Now, let’s see about preparing you for your reward.” He hums as his hands meet your ankles. “Watch my hands resting on your ankles, massaging gently on your calves, my fingers caressing on the backs of your thighs,” he takes in a breath, “and my thumbs resting just shy of your beautiful, pouting lips.” He hisses a bit and then moans. “I can feel your heartbeat pounding against my thumb.” He’s not wrong. Your heart’s beating so fast in anticipation of what he’s going to do. “Are you throbbing for me?” You nod, “yes.” “Yes, yes what?” he repeats back and waits for you to say the word. “Yes sir” you say and he chuckles. “Good girl. Are you aching for me?” You nod and pout your lips and he smirks. “Good. Shall I see about that wetness?” You nod again. “Are you wet?” “Yes sir.” “Well then… let’s see. I’m going to slide my thumbs between your legs and gently massage your pussy lips with them.” He does just that and you gasp at the feeling and whimper. “Oh yeah,” he moans, “they’re so warm, so inviting.” He continues to massage as you pout your lips at how good the feeling is. “And if I dip inside…” he dips one of his thumbs in as you moan and so does he. “So silky, look at that, so pretty, shiny and wet.” He smirks, “and see here, look…” you look down at your lower half with him, “that beautiful clit, she is so swollen for me, begging to be touched, caressed, tasted.” You whimper at his words. “Tell me love, do you want to feel my warm mouth on your clit?” You gasp at him and he smirks, “yeah.” He chuckles at how submissive you’re already being for him. “I will do that for you. But first, you’ll have to make a promise.” You give him a confused expression. What is he talking about? “Well, since I think it’s always good to practice self control, you are not to cum without permission. Is that understood?” he asks, raising his eyebrow and cocking his head to the side. You nod and he hums. “No matter how much I tease and lick and suck on you. No matter how good it feels, no matter how much your body wants to release, you are not to cum unless I say so… is that understood?” “Yes sir,” you reply. “Good girl,” he says before diving into you. You gasp at the contact of his lips and tongue on your clit as you grab a fistful of his light brown hair and moan. He kisses and licks it while moaning on it. The vibrations feel wonderful. He places his tongue flat out on your clit and licks it back and forth before kissing it again. “Come here, come closer,” he growls as he pulls in closer and dives in again. He continues to lick and kiss at your clit while you let out a string of whimpers. As he moans on it and kisses it, you feel like you’re going crazy. “Don’t you, don’t you…” he whispers before going back in again. Your thighs shake at how good he’s doing you right now. You can’t believe he can tell just from your whimpers and moans. At this point he’s basically making out with your clit. He growls into it which sends shivers up your body and you whimper again. He pulls back a bit just to get a breath of air before going back in and licking it again. The sounds that are coming from your clit are also driving you insane because of how wet you are. He then pulls back. “So delicious, so sweet,” he says before kissing your clit again. “Such an extraordinary student,” he gasps a bit, “I can feel your thighs shaking, yet you obeyed me,” he says before pulling you into a deep kiss. You can taste your juices on his lips as he kisses you. “Are you ready for more?” he asks as he kisses you again. You moan a yes into the kiss and he chuckles. “I want you to lick and suck on my fingers, how many is up to you because once they are nice and wet…” he gives you one more kiss, “I am going to slide them inside your hungry, aching pussy and you are going to ride them. Now show me how many you want.” You ponder how many you want for a second and then take 2 of his fingers into your mouth. He then gasps and moans at your wet mouth on his fingers. You begin to lick and suck on them, swirling your tongue around them. “Good girl. Yeah, nice and wet,” he says. You then slip them out of your mouth and he smirks. “Good girl. Are you ready? Will you be able to hold back for me?” You look down and frown a bit. “I don’t know,” you reply. “You're not sure? Well, we’ll just have to see how close we can get. And if you're about to cum, I want you to tell me.” He chuckles a bit. “Now open your legs for me,” he whispers, and as you were told, you spread your legs. “Good, now lift your hips,” he orders. You then lift them. “And when you’re ready-” you cut him off by lowering your hole onto his fingers. You gasp at the fullness you feel from them. “Yes, just like that, ride them,” he growls the last part a bit as you begin to ride his fingers. You moan at the feeling, it feels amazing. Mr. Kim moans with you, “you’re so tight and hot.” You whimper at his words and begin to speed up your movements a bit, anticipating your orgasm. “I know you’re trying hard, I can feel your body gripping me, you’re pulsing around my fingers, you’re such a good girl. And you're doing so well, yeah… so well, in fact…” he trails off, “that I’m going to stroke your clit with my thumb while you ride.” He begins to do just that and you arch your back in pleasure at the amazing stimulation you feel. “Is that too much?” he asks, smirking. “Oh fuck you’re so sexy right now, can you feel my thumb against your clit?” You nod vigorously as he speeds up with his hand movements hitting your spot. Your eyes widen as you feel you’re getting dangerously close. “S-stop,” you whimper. “Stop?” He smirks and pulls out his fingers. You’re disappointed with the empty feeling. “Oh fuck, I think you’re ready for your reward. What do you think?” “Yes!” you blurt out. How close you were makes you so needy that you’re unaware of your own tone of voice. “Yes, so eager.” He smirks and licks his lips. “I want you to lean forward for me and unbuckle my belt.” He stands up as your cue to do what he asked. You start to unbuckle his belt while he takes his hand and puts it underneath your chin, making you look up at him as he brings you into a kiss. “Fuck, that sweetness,” he says, and he kisses you again. “Now unzip my pants.” You pull down the zipper. “Good. Now slide your hand inside.” You’re hesitant, but you put your hand inside of his briefs and you gasp when your hand makes contact with his hard cock. He gasps as well. “Can you feel that? How heavy and hard I am for you?” You nod as you squeeze his cock a bit making him moan, “yeah, you can stroke it a bit.” You begin to stroke his cock up and down, it’s so big compared to your hand. You can’t even wrap your hand around it. He hisses at the feeling of your movements. “Oh fuck, feel me in your hand.” You then completely take it out of his briefs and begin to jack it a bit with your eyes filled with lust. “That’s it, think about it, yeah… when you have it in hand. Think about how I’m going to fill you right up. Every inch just for you,” he moans out the last part as you jerk it a bit faster, licking your lips seeing the pre-cum already forming on the tip. “You like thinking about that, huh?” “Mhm,” you respond, eyes still on his cock. “You do, don’t you? Yeah, you like thinking about riding this big hard fucking cock huh?” he asks as you let out another mhm as he moans. “Oh yeah, feels so good, you want it hm? Tell me you want it,” he growls out and you whimper. “I fucking want it,” you say, looking at him. “Come here, stand up,” he commands, growling. You’ve never seen Mr. Kim like this, and it honestly turns you on but also scares you a bit at the same time. You get up off of his desk, “Yes, now bend over the desk.” You turn around and bend over so your chest meets the cold surface of the desk. He then spanks you unexpectedly as you let out a yelp. “Are you ready? Tell me, look behind and tell me. Tell me to fuck you.” You turn your head and see Mr. Kim has changed, lust has completely taken over his body. “Please fuck me, sir,” you say seductively. “Yeah, let me play with it.” You turn your head back around and feel his cock meet your wet lips and you gasp. “Push back,” he says and you push back on his cock as you both moan. “You going to take me inside of you? This big, thick cock?” You hum and you can feel him smirk. “Do you want me to put it inside of you? Tell me,” he whispers right beside your ear. “Yes sir.” He pulls back and rubs his cock up and down your pussy lips. “Oh yeah, you're going to show this dick aren’t you? You’re going to show it how good of a student you are. You’re going to cover it in your cum aren’t you? Yeah, feel it, feel it part your lips.” You feel the tip go in as you both moan. “Yeah, just sliding inside.” He then spanks both of your ass cheeks and you whimper. “So inviting.” Another smack, “Good girl, taking it just like that.” You whimper as you feel almost half of it in you. “Being fucked by your teacher, on the desk where I graded your photos. Yeah, taking this big cock, right there, so sexy. Take it in more, come on. Swivel your hips, take it in more.” You follow his commands and you feel more go inside of you as you whimper. “Let me look,'' he says as he parts your pussy lips taking a good look at his cock inside you. “Now push back.” You push back on his cock as you whimper even more. “All the way in…'' You feel the tip hit the back of your pussy and you gasp. “Feel my hands on your ass, that big dick inside of you throbbing. Come here…” he leans down towards your ear, “Yeah, feel it throbbing inside of you, stretching your pussy out.” He begins to thrust into you as you moan out, “Fuck, Mr. Kim!” He pulls back and smirks. “Call me by my real name darling, you know what it is.” His thrusts are slow, but that doesn’t stop it from hitting so deep inside you. “Yeah, let it get in there.” You’re now pouting at how good it feels. “Yeah, fuck me. Yeah, look back at me.” You do, but your expression is so lazy because of how fucked out you already are. You see a smirk on his face, “Show it, show that dick baby. Yeah, such a good student and that big cock is so deep inside, yeah fucking you in and out. Mhm, bent over the desk like a naughty girl. Yeah, so fucking naughty,” he whispers as he speeds up his thrusts while still pounding into you. You let out a yelp followed by a string of moans. “Fuck, Tae!” you let out. “I’d fuck you in front of the class, I wouldn’t be able to resist you. How sexy you are,” he whispers as your eyes widen at his words. You let out a rushed moan. The room is now filled up with your moans and thrusts. Anybody could probably hear it by now. “Yeah, you make it harder, don’t you? A little harder? Feel my hands slide up your body.” You gasp as you feel his hands move up to your clothed breasts. “Yeah, up to those tits, massaging them, teasing them, pinching those nipples while this cock takes control and you feel it take fucking control?” You clench around his cock as you’re getting close again. “You’re gonna cum on it, aren’t you? You’re gonna cover it in your cum.” You let out a whimper as an answer. You can barely speak with all of this simulation you’re getting right now. “Show me those beautiful eyes.” You turn your head back to meet his gaze and he looks almost as fucked out as you are. His hair is sticking to his forehead with the sweat that’s covering his skin. “Oh god, so good, fuck!” he growls, “Feel it, oh god, yeah!” You can tell he’s getting close by how sloppy his thrusts are and how desperate he is with his moaning. “You want me to rub that clit?” His finger goes down and rubs your clit as your eyes shoot open because of how close your orgasm was. “Oh my god, fuck, Tae!” You almost yell out. “Cum on it for me, please!” he pleads. His words do it for you as your orgasm shoots through your body and your eyes roll back, your head meeting the desk. “Oh, I can feel it! Squeeze your pussy around that dick, yeah! Lock it around.” Even though you’re in your post-orgasm and you’re really sensitive, Mr. Kim still continues to pound into you, chasing his orgasm. “Good girl. You’re going to take mine? I know you’re going to take it for me. Tell me what you want. Say those fucking words.” You whimper, “Please cum in me, Taehyung.” He groans at your words and you then feel him shoot his cum inside you, filling you right up.
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After you both catch your breaths, you feel him pull out of you. “Fuck baby, look at all of that cum,” he says as he spreads your ass checks to reveal your pussy dripping with his cum. He then chuckles at your state, how fucked out you are from him. He helps you off the desk and brings you in for a long kiss. He then breaks it and chuckles at you again. “You’re such a mess, love.” You look down at yourself and cringe, “I feel so sweaty.” “Sorry, it did get a bit steamy in here,” he says before kissing you again. “Did you like your reward?” he asks and you nod. Just then your eyes close for a bit and he kisses your head. “Somebody’s sleepy I see.” “Yeah, you fucked the brains out of me, Mr. Kim,” you reply. He chuckles as he looks at you. “So, um… how are we going to go about this?” you ask. “Well, I would get fired if the college found out I was dating my student, so for now we’re going to keep this a secret, alright?” You nod and look down at your clothes. “Could you take me home? I’m pretty sure it’s still raining,” you ask. He nods as you grab your clothes. Once both of you have your clothes back on, he grabs his keys and closes up the classroom. The two of you make your way down to the parking lot. He drives you home with some slow jazz music in the background and asks you various questions about your experience with him. He soon arrives at your apartment and parks the car. You forgot to bring a jacket, so you know you’ll have to speedily run inside. Before you get out, Mr. Kim stops you. “Take my umbrella.” “But sir-“ “It’s pouring, you can give it back to me tomorrow.” You sigh as you take it. He kisses you before you step out of the car, opening the umbrella over you and making your way up the stairs to the door of your apartment. You look back at Mr. Kim, waving goodbye before heading inside.
#bts#bts army#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts smut#bts taehyung#kim taehyung#kth#taehyung smut#taehyung imagine#bts imagine#taehyung x reader#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x you#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#bts taehyung smut#bts kim taehyung
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can’t take my eyes off of you || reader x kth
Pairing: reader x KTH
Word count: 5.1k
Rating: M / R (18+)
Genre: one night stand, smut, pinch of fluff
Summary: It was supposed to be a girls’ night out. So what are you doing here by yourself, and why has the guy across the bar set his smoldering gaze on you of all people? Inspired by Runaway Baby - Bruno Mars.
Warnings: alcohol consumption, penetrative sex (protected of course), orgasms, big dicc!tae (my god), reader is a blushing mess (and so am I jfc)
A/N: this took forever for some reason (even though it was totally supposed to come out sooner T_T) but it’s finally here (and just in time)! first attempt at real smut so this is probably a mess but enjoy anyway >.< as always beta'd and bannered by the amazing april (@onmypillow-onmytable). thx! ly - robyn
P.S. I do not own BTS or their likenesses, nor do I own the music of Bruno Mars (lol), they simply inspire me.
inspo playlist here
part of the doo-wops, hooligans, and unorthodox magic collection (masterlist)
“Should we take this somewhere more…private?” That deep, velvety-smooth voice again, a whisper that brushes lightly against your ear.
You awaken with a start, eyes roving around, attempting to make sense of your surroundings. That is definitely not the ceiling of your apartment above you. Everything is unfamiliar: everything from the sheets to the art on the walls to the handsome stranger in bed next to you. He’s asleep, a flop of messy hair sweeping over his delicate, almond-shaped eyes. His arms wrap around you, as if he’s hugging a pillow to his chest – as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear. You only have to look at him to remember that it was his voice in your head. Who is he? And how did you get here? Memories of what must have happened last night flood into your brain, though somewhat obscured by the fog that comes with heavy drinking and other bad decisions.
The bar. You remember getting to the bar. What happened afterwards? You were supposed to meet your best friend Hyejin, but she cancelled on you at the last minute, something about how her younger brother was visiting on surprise leave from the military. "I'm sorry, y/n!" she'd wailed into the phone. "I had no idea Jun was going to pull something like this. I was literally walking out the door when he showed up, and he's only in the city this weekend, so our parents will kill me if I don't take him out to dinner at least once."
You sigh, only slightly annoyed. "It's fine, Hyejin. He's your brother. I understand."
"Not that I don't appreciate the thought, but aish, I could just kill him sometimes. Will you be all right by yourself?"
You glance around the bar, which is starting to get noisier as more people fill in. "I'll be fine. I'll probably just have one drink and then go home. Since I’m already here."
Hyejin blows you a raspberry. "Boring! And we were going to get you laid tonight, too. Finally break that dry spell of yours. All because my brother decides he just has to surprise me this weekend."
"Jin!" you hiss, cheeks flaming. You’ve never been the casual hookup-one night stand type, and she knows that. Why is she so hellbent on getting you laid?
"It's true!" she insists. "It’s been months since you’ve gotten any. Y/n, please promise me that you won't just have one drink and go home. Have two drinks. Three, even. Give excitement a chance to unfold. Maybe get yourself something – or someone – special?" You can almost picture her waggling her eyebrows on the other end of the phone.
You roll your eyes. “I’m hanging up on you.”
“Okay, okay. Promise you’ll tell me all the gory details at lunch tomorrow?”
“I doubt they will be in any way gory or interesting, but fine. I’m really hanging up on you now, Jin. Have fun with your brother.”
“Be safe, y/n. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and don’t forget to use protection!” You can hear the mischievous grin in her voice.
You let out a disgusted groan, and hang up without another word, sighing as you stare down into your nearly empty cosmopolitan. Hyejin is right. It's been what, almost six months since you found your boyfriend in your bed with another woman? You still miss the sheets you’d had to throw out after you kicked him out of your apartment. The whole experience was enough to put you off dating permanently – but you can’t deny you have your own needs. You’re a grown woman, after all, and there’s only so much your vibrator can do for you. You finish off the last of your cocktail and order another, fully intending to leave once it’s gone. There will be other nights, and other men, and you’d much rather do this when Hyejin is around to keep you from embarrassing yourself too much.
The bartender sets a fresh glass down in front of you. “Compliments of the gentleman over there.” He nods toward the end of the bar, where what may very well be the most attractive man you’ve ever laid eyes on is sitting. Dark hair falls in a swoop over one eye, and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to reveal a set of toned forearms. An expensive-looking watch rests on one wrist, completing the full image. He nods at you, winks, and raises his glass of red wine. You raise your own in return.
First and last time that’ll ever happen, you think to yourself, sipping on your drink. The clamor of the bar builds, and you sit there alone, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You tug at the hemline of your dress: short, spaghetti strapped, uncomfortable, thinking of the sweatpants you’re going to change into immediately upon returning home, the shows from this week that you need to catch up on, and then maybe you’ll fall into bed at a reasonable hour, waking up just early enough to squeeze in a workout and a shower before you have to meet Hyejin for lunch and tell her all of the non-details of your non-adventurous evening. Boring, routine, and comfortable. A glance tells you the man at the end of the bar is still staring at you. You try to ignore him, but his eyes are still laser-focused on you. You shift uncomfortably.
Just who does this guy think he is?
You down the last of your cosmo and vacate your stool, making sure not to wobble in your heels as you march toward him. He watches you approach with what seems to be great interest. "You," you demand, pointing a finger at him. "Why do you keep staring at me?"
He holds your gaze, almost defiantly. He doesn’t even flinch at your accusing finger. "I like looking at pretty things," he says, his mouth quirking up at the corners in a smirk. "Can you blame me?"
You're not sure whether to feel flattered or creeped out, but your mouth speaks for you before you can even think about it. "What, so I'm a thing now?"
"Is that so bad?" he questions. "To be the object of someone's admiration?" His eyes darken as they look you up and down.
You feel bare. Exposed. Like he's seen something about you that you've never even seen yourself. “What if I don’t want to be an object?” you challenge. ”What then?”
“Hm. I don’t know,” he says. He seems amused. “I’m sure we could figure something else out.”
“Who are you, anyway?” you ask, narrowing your eyes.
"I'm Taehyung." The name rolls off his tongue. "But you can call me Tae. Yours?"
You hesitate. "Buy me another drink and maybe I'll tell you," you say finally.
Taehyung smiles. Challenge accepted. He motions the bartender over, who looks between both of you questioningly. "You heard her," he says. "Whatever she's having."
You slide onto the barstool next to him, and the bartender sets another cocktail in front of you. "So," you start. "Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to stare at people?"
"They have. It's never stopped me before, though." Taehyung takes a sip of his wine. “You still haven’t told me your name, by the way.”
“Y/n,” you say after a momentary pause, debating whether or not you should give him a fake one. “It’s y/n.”
“Y/n,” he repeats. Your name sounds different when he says it. “A pleasure.”
Your cheeks warm, though you’re not sure if it’s the liquor or his gaze. "What brings you out by yourself tonight, then?" you ask. “Surely someone like you has plenty of places he could be on a Friday night, instead of sitting by himself in a bar, staring at unsuspecting women.” Handsome. Seemingly well-rounded. Fairly charming.
"Hmm,” he muses. “I’m an artist of sorts, but I’m feeling a little…blocked at the moment, so I guess you could say I'm looking for inspiration."
“You’re an artist?” you say. “I never would have expected that.” A closer glance at his hands reveals a few stray flecks of paint around his nails.
“I get that a lot.” He chuckles. “I guess I don’t really look the part, do I?” The corners of his eyes crinkle with the boxy smile that emerges from his laugh.
“Well,” you say, resting your chin on your palm. “Mr. Artiste. How’s the search for inspiration going?”
"Between you and me," he says, turning to you, one elbow leaned against the bar, "I'd say it's looking fairly promising. But…” Taehyung looks you straight in the eyes. “I could ask the same of you. Y/n, what’s a beautiful woman like yourself doing alone at the bar on a night like this?”
“You flatter me.”
“It’s true.” He shrugs. "Anyone can see that you're positively captivating."
Your ex never would have told you anything like that, not in the months before things ended. Your ears tingle. "At least someone thinks so."
“Why do you say that?” he asks.
“Where do I start?” You stare down into your glass, running a finger around the rim. You shake your head. “Ah, don’t listen to me. I don’t want to bore you with complaining about my asshole ex.”
“Whoever he is, or was,” says Taehyung, gently turning your head to look at him, “it’s his loss. He has no idea what he’s missing out on.”
"You just met me five minutes ago," you say. "How could you possibly know that?"
"Well," he says, the corner of his mouth twitching, "I get the feeling I'm about to find out."
Oh my god. Oh. My. God. You take a deep breath in an attempt to keep yourself from panicking. What did you do last night? What are you supposed to do now? Your memories are still blurry, but one thing is for certain: you’ve got to get out of here before he notices you’re gone. Hoping he doesn’t wake up, you extricate yourself gingerly from his grip and edge gently to the side of the bed, holding one of the blankets to your chest while you scan the floor for your clothes. As you’re about to stand up, a hand suddenly locks around your wrist in a firm grasp. You look over your shoulder. Taehyung’s eyes are open now, his gaze fixed on you.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he demands. His voice stops you in your tracks. Even half-asleep he sounds like the type of person who’s used to getting what he wants. "Did you think I wouldn't notice you trying to disappear on me?"
“I was just…” You clear your throat. Your cheeks burn. What exactly are you planning on telling him? Leaving? Looking for the bathroom? Going on a coffee run and never coming back? You can’t make yourself finish the sentence. It's as if his gaze has caused your brain to short-circuit.
Taehyung sits up, the bedsheet draped tantalizingly low across his hips, the firm planes of his lower abdomen taking your mind somewhere it shouldn’t. “Don’t tell me you’re getting shy on me now.” He dips his head at the blanket covering your breasts. “Especially not after everything you begged me to do to you last night.” He smirks.
Your face flames even hotter. “Um – I…I don’t —”
“You don’t remember?” he says. “Hm. And what should we do about that?” An arm wraps around your waist, pulling you back toward him. “Should I give you a refresher?” he whispers into your ear. “I’m ready whenever.”
“I can tell,” you say breathlessly. You can feel him pressing against you – every inch of him.
Taehyung kisses you, just behind your ear, letting his teeth graze the outside of it, planting a trail of blooming kisses down your neck and across your shoulder. “Anything?” His voice is low and dark, filled with lust. “Or should I continue?”
“It’s coming back to me,” you exhale. Don’t stop. Please.
The brick wall outside scrapes against your shoulder blades, the cold night air making you shiver slightly. His lips are on yours, on your neck, trailing down across your bare collarbone, each one burning more than the next until you’re completely aflame. The front of his shirt is clenched in your fists, the only thing keeping you from sliding down to the pavement. But he pulls away, and you let out a frustrated huff. A crowd of people leaving the bar walks past, chattering loudly, and Taehyung’s hand is suddenly on the wall next to your head, his arm out to shield you from anyone’s view. He’s biting his lower lip, dark eyes glinting. “You have no idea how much I want to just take you right here, right up against this wall.”
“So do it then,” you breathe. "Take me. Fuck me right here in this alley.” You don’t know what you’re saying. All you know is that you want his hands back on you, right now, so you guide them toward your waist.
“So eager.” He smiles. “But not here. I want to be the only one who hears you scream tonight.” Taehyung’s voice lowers to a whisper as he leans in. “Should we take this somewhere more…private?” He tilts your chin up to look him in the eye. “Last chance to say no.”
“Is there a reason I should?” You look up at him through your lashes.
“Not in my opinion.” Taehyung smirks. “So what’s it going to be?”
You're barely inside the door of his apartment before his hands are on you again, fumbling for the zipper of your dress, eventually giving up and yanking the whole thing over your head. "Hey, be careful," you giggle between kisses, working at unbuttoning his shirt. "That dress was expensive."
"I'll buy you a new one," he says, flinging it away so you don't see where it lands, nimble fingers moving to unhook your bra, an uncomfortable strapless push-up you only ever wear to make your tits look good. “I’ll buy you ten new ones." He tosses the bra over his shoulder as well. "God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He hoists you up, palming your ass with those massive hands of his, letting your legs wrap around his waist. You buck against him, needing the friction to lessen the ache between your legs. “Fuck, y/n,” he growls. “I can’t control myself around you.”
“I don’t care,” you say, gasping as he presses you up against the wall. “I don’t fucking care.” You’re moving again, down a hall to another room. The bedroom.
Taehyung tosses you down roughly on the bed. He looms over you, his eyes nearly black with desire. “Stunning,” he says. “Absolutely stunning. Now that I’ve got you all to myself…I might never let you go. I’m going to ruin you, y/n.” He snaps the waistband of your underwear. “Are you all right with that?”
“Why are you still talking?” You pull him down toward you and kiss him, pushing the unbuttoned shirt all the way off his shoulders. “Go ahead and do it already. Ruin me. I’m all yours.”
"That's right," he says, dropping another kiss on your lips. "You're all mine, baby. Just for me.” His lips trail down, a waterfall of kisses running through the valley between your breasts, down your stomach, stopping just above your hips, where he deftly slides off your underwear and tosses them aside. “Are you ready?”
You nod wordlessly. “I’m ready.”
“Good.” He’s gorgeous, standing there in the moonlight. He leans over you, reaching for something in the bedside table, enveloping you in his scent: sandalwood and bergamot, hints of pine. You hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper.
“Wait.” You stop him before he can put it on. “Let me. Please, Tae. I want to.”
“You want to touch me?” Taehyung smirks. “Even better.” He hands you the unwrapped condom. “I’ll let you do the honors.”
You draw in a breath and roll the condom up his cock: thick, heavy, already wet with precum. It’s bigger than you imagined, especially in your hands – in fact, massive might be a better word for it.
He groans as you move slowly up the shaft. “Y/n…”
“What?” you tease. “Something wrong?”
“It’s not every day I have your pretty little hands wrapped around my cock.” He grins. “I’m just enjoying the ride.”
"Oh, these hands?" you ask innocently, running a finger down his length.
"Fuck," he exhales. He leans down, bringing his face inches away from yours. “You trying to kill me?” God, this man knows how to use his mouth. And his fingers. He traces one long index finger down your drenched center, teasing at your entrance. “So wet for me already,” Taehyung marvels. “It won’t be long now.”
“Tae…” you whine, biting your lower lip.
“Say please.”
You inhale sharply. “Please.”
“Good girl.” He slips another finger inside you, circling your clit. It’s so swollen and sensitive he barely has to touch it before you let out a soft moan. "Talk to me, sweetheart. Tell me what you need."
"I need you," you gasp. "Need you inside me. Right now."
Taehyung gently touches your face. “Not yet, baby,” he coaxes. “Wait for me. Just a little while longer.” He settles himself between your legs, the tip of his cock pressing against your core. You close your eyes, sucking in your bottom lip, gasping slightly as he slips inside, feeling yourself stretching to accommodate him, shifting your pelvis to take on even more. You feel full. Warm. Good. It feels good.
“Fuck,” you breathe. He’s huge.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “Can I move?”
You nod earnestly. “Move, Tae. For the love of god, fucking move.”
He rocks into you, slowly at first, then faster. “God, you feel amazing. How is it possible that you’re so amazing?”
“Show me,” you demand. “Show me how good I make you feel.”
“Whatever you want, baby. I’ll give it to you.”
“Harder,” you pant. “I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t see straight. I want to see stars. Constellations. The whole damn solar system.”
“Happy to oblige.” Taehyung smiles. His thrusts intensify, leaving you teetering on the edge, fists clenching the sheets underneath you. You cry out, the pressure of your impending orgasm nearly too much to bear. He touches your cheek. “Wait for me,” he commands. “Almost there. Almost.”
“I can’t,” you whimper. “I’m going to –”
He silences you by touching a finger to your lips. “Shh,” he whispers.
That moment seems to last forever, building, building – until finally, the dam bursts. Pure, white hot adrenaline, the passion, the desire, all setting off fireworks behind your eyes. Your nails dig into his back as you hang on, seemingly for dear life. He comes undone with a groan, spilling himself inside of you as the force of your climax hits you like a tidal wave.
He collapses onto the mattress, panting slightly, and presses a kiss to the side of your forehead. “Fuck. That was…”
“Really something,” you finish. Your heart is still racing.
“You could say that.” Taehyung chuckles.
“I haven’t come that hard since…ever.”
“Never?” He turns his head to look at you, one eyebrow raised.
You think back. “Maybe once. But it’s been a really long time.”
“So definitely better than your ex?” he teases. “I’ll take it.”
“That’s it? You’re easily satisfied.”
His arm snakes around your waist, pulling you toward him. “No. I’m not. Not usually. So you’d better be careful or…”
“Or what?”
Taehyung smiles, eyes closed, almost half asleep already. “Hmm.” He hums gently. “I just might fall in love with you.”
“So,” he says, his low voice bringing you back to the present. “Where were you running off to in such a hurry just now?”
“Uh…” What was it you were about to do? You were looking for something. Clothes. You were looking for your clothes. “My dress. I need my dress.”
“Oh, that,” Taehyung says dismissively. “I think we left it somewhere near the kitchen. Along with, well…” He peers around at your face, grinning. “Everything else.” He’s still pressed up against you.
Your senses come rushing back, and you pull away. “Look,” you babble. “I don’t normally do this kind of thing, and last night was…great, but —”
“I’d like to think it was more than just great,” he shrugs. “Phenomenal. Earth-shattering. Damn near amazing. But call it what you like.”
“I’ve really got to go,” you blurt. “I have an…engagement.” Lunch. With Hyejin. Right. What time is it, anyway?
“Ah.” If he’s disappointed, he doesn’t show it. “Of course. Don’t let me stop you.” Taehyung cocks an eyebrow wolfishly. “Unless you’d like me to.”
"Uh, no. That’s all right." How does he do that? How does he know how to fluster you with a single look? You keep the blanket wrapped around you while you pad into the kitchen, where you find your dress in a mound on the floor. Wrinkled. Of course. You sigh and pick it up. The daylight allows you a better look at the rest of his apartment, one that you didn't get the night before. The front room is high-ceilinged, exposed brick and tall windows overlooking the street below. Your eyes linger on the canvases leaned up against one wall, the easel with the cloth-covered painting on top of it. Or you would assume there's a painting under there; you can't exactly see it, but it would only make sense. "So he is actually an artist," you say to yourself.
"Of course I am," he says, appearing behind you out of nowhere. "Not exactly the kind of thing I’d lie about."
You whip around to find him standing there, clad only in boxers and an amused expression. "I don't know. You could have just told me that to make yourself seem more interesting. You wouldn't be the first guy to do it. Women love a man with depth."
"So did it work, then?" He presses his lips together, obviously trying to hide a smile. "Do you think I'm interesting?"
"Hm." You smile and look down. "Not sure yet. I'll let you know."
"Please. By all means."
You seem to remember there was something else you were supposed to be doing. "Uh…bathroom?"
"Down there." He points you back in the direction of the bedroom.
"Thanks." You gather up your things into a pile and shut the door after you, letting out a breath as you lean against it. You dress quickly and fix your hair as much as you can with the comb you keep in your purse, splash some water on your flushed cheeks, then head back into the kitchen. He’s there at the island, scribbling something on a piece of paper. “What’s that?” you say as you approach, still fiddling with the back zipper on your dress that seems to have jammed itself on its way off last night.
“My number. I realized I didn’t give it to you last night.” He smirks, pushing it toward you. “Just in case you need me.”
God, he's cocky. You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little into it. “Who says I'll need you?” That’s what you say – but you tuck it into your bag anyway.
“If you change your mind. Here, let me.” Taehyung gets the zipper unstuck and finishes zipping up the back of your dress. He presses a final kiss lightly against the shell of your ear. “You should go. You have your engagement, don’t you? Wouldn’t want you to be late.”
"Are you rushing me out?" you say, glancing over your shoulder.
"Oh, you can stay as long as you like," he says. “Just trying to be considerate of your time.”
"I appreciate that." Suddenly you don't want to go. You’d rather stay here, in bed, in his arms. But that’s not what that is. You don’t know what this is, but you know it’s not how this kind of thing works. You pick up your shoes and walk toward the door. He follows closely behind you. You hesitate, turning back toward him. “I guess this is it, then?” you say.
“I suppose it is,” he says.
“Well…thanks,” you say, unsure what to say next. “I had a good time.” You recall the stiff, sore feeling between your legs and sigh internally. You’re going to be feeling this for the next day or two – but regret doesn’t even begin to cross your mind.
“Until the next one?” He’s still smirking.
Next time? “Who says there’s going to be a next time?” You cross your arms and look up at him.
“Just wishful thinking. I would like to see you again, but we can discuss that when the time comes.” He smiles down at you. “Enjoy the rest of your weekend, y/n.”
Wishful thinking indeed.
You hurry home with just enough time to take a quick shower before you have to go and meet Hyejin for lunch. Your mind wanders to Taehyung several times while you’re waiting at the restaurant: the way his hair fell across his eyes, that squinting, boxy smile of his, his hands, exploring every inch of your body. The way it felt when he—
“Y/n? Y/n, hello? Are you there?” Hyejin is looking at you pointedly.
You jump. “Yeah. Sorry. My brain stopped working for a minute. Were you saying something?”
“What happened last night?" Her eyes narrow. "Please tell me you didn’t just have two drinks and go home. Did something happen?” Hyejin raises an eyebrow.
You consider telling her about Taehyung, but you’re not sure if you could do him justice. “Nothing happened, Jin. And that’s exactly what I did. Two drinks, went home, fell asleep watching Bridgerton.” You redirect your focus to your lunch, the smell of which makes you a touch nauseous.
She crosses her arms and stares you down. “I don’t believe you. You definitely had more than two drinks. You’ve got that look in your eyes that you get when you’re hungover. I’d know it anywhere.” She squints at your right shoulder, right in the crook of your neck and gasps. “Y/n! Is that a hickey?”
You nearly choke on your water. Shit. How could you have not noticed that? You tug at the neck of your sweater. “Not so loud! I don’t need the entire restaurant knowing I have a hickey! Which I don’t. Because it’s not a hickey. It’s, um—”
“Oh my god, it is! It totally is. Y/n! You got some, didn’t you?”
“No comment.” Your face burns red hot.
“Okay, well, based on the fact that you don’t want to tell me, your best friend, about it, it was probably either really good or really bad. And judging by the way you’re blushing…” She leans her chin on one fist. “I’m going to guess that it was really good.”
"Stop it. You're the worst. The absolute worst." There might as well be steam coming off your face. You lower your voice. "Yes. It was really good. He was hot, thorough, and not clingy at all. The consummate hookup. Are you happy now?"
"Overjoyed." Hyejin looks far too pleased with herself. "Does this guy have a name?”
“Taehyung.”
“Taehyung,” she repeats. “So. Are you going to see him again?"
You think about his number written on the scrap of paper currently sitting in the change pocket of your purse. In case you need me. "I don't know. Probably not. I mean, that's how one-night stands work, isn't it? Kinda defeats the purpose of the whole ‘one-night’ thing if you see them more than once."
Hyejin shrugs. "They can. There's no rule that says they have to. You said he's hot. Would you want to see him again?"
"Well…maybe?” You think about it. The man hasn’t left your mind since you left his apartment. “If the opportunity presented itself? He did give me his number. And he did say he wanted to see me again."
She sighs. "Y/n, I love you. But you might be the dumbest person in the world when it comes to this kind of thing."
"What?" you demand. "What is that supposed to mean? He was probably just being flirty. I doubt he really wants to see me again."
"Of course he was being flirty. He wants to see you again. He made it a point to give you his number, y/n. Opportunity is literally pounding on your door. Are you just going to let the best sex of your life slip past you when you could seize the day and do something you’ve never done before?” Hyejin leans in. “Look. I know what you’re going to say. You’re not looking for anything serious right now, and I totally get it after what that piece of shit did to you. But why not have a good old-fashioned no strings attached fling? You deserve it. You’re practically a saint for putting up with that asshole for so long. And if this guy isn’t on the same page, then you cut your losses and move on. Simple as that.”
“Simple as that, huh?” You cross your arms and stare pensively at the table.
“Honestly.” She shrugs. “If you don’t text him, I will.”
“Jin, you’re engaged.”
“Yeah, but I’m not dead, am I?”
You: Hi. It's y/n.
You: From last weekend?
You: This is Taehyung, right?
Taehyung: It is.
Taehyung: I was wondering when I’d hear from you.
You: And I was wondering when I could see you again.
Taehyung: That depends.
You: On what?
Taehyung: How bad you want to see me.
You rap three times and wait, the silence in the hallway almost unbearable. For a moment you think you’ve made a mistake coming back over here, but then the door swings open, and there he is. Barefooted, in shorts and a baggy, paint-stained t-shirt. A far cry from the way he looked when you met him last weekend, but at this moment you don’t think you’ve ever found anyone more attractive.
He looks you up and down, a satisfied smirk creeping across his mouth. “So you came.”
“Yeah. I did.” Your heart is pounding. “This is probably a bad idea.”
“Uh-huh.” Taehyung nods, leaning against the frame of his front door. His crossed arms draw attention to his rolled-up sleeves, accentuating his biceps.
“A really bad idea.” Your nails are digging into the palms of your hands.
“So you’ve established.” He tilts his head to one side. “Still time to leave. Although I won’t say I’m willing to forget it ever happened.”
You shake your head. You’ve already spent way too much time thinking about this. “No. I want this.”
“Good, because I do too.” He holds out a hand. “Are you going to come in, then?”
You put your hand in his, and he immediately tugs you toward him, until you’re mere inches away from each other. His touch is magnetic. Like perfect polar opposites. “Yeah,” you breathe, inhaling his scent. Sandalwood, bergamot, and pine. “I’m coming in.”
©2022 by @mrworldwideshoulders
#bts taehyung#bts v#taehyung x reader#v x reader#taehyung smut#v smut#bts smut#bts fluff#taehyung fluff#kim taehyung#bts x you#bts x reader#v fluff#kth x reader#reader x kth#bts series#bts imagines#bts pov#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#taehyung fanfic#BTS au
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How BTS Would React to You Coming Home Drunk (and Horny) from a Night Out with Friends | NSFW
Pairing: BTS x Reader/You/Yn (some gendered + some non-gendered)
Rating: NSFW! Mature (18+) Minors DNI.
Word Count: 691ish
Genre: scenario/imagine, smut, sprinklings or crack/fluff, established relationships.
Warnings: mentions of drinking (consensual drunken behavior between partners), reader is wearing a dress because ease of access.
Sexually Explicit Content: penetration (penis is whatever you want to imagine: vagina/ass), cunnilingus, fellatio, nipple play, cockwarming, kissing/making out, overstiumulation, cuddling. Let me know if I missed anything!
🗝️ Note: I’ll format this tomorrow. But in tradition of when this imagine was made, that’s a sober Kie problem. A repost from @/goodsoop. Edited 8/20/23 to include warnings!
Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted here.
KSJ: would be mildly "unapproving" of your loose behavior but would fix himself a double and quickly get on your level. Until you both were drunk, loudly playing video games on the couch of the game room. This of course escalates into you attempting to cheat by climbing into his lap. You end up getting distracted by his beautiful lips and it turns into a sloppy, laughter filled fuck on the sectional. Jin boasts that he, of course, won. In the game and in getting you off.
MYG: was asleep when you drunkenly climbed into bed, laying on top of him Jung-Hoseok-spread-eagle style. Grumbles about the fact you’re going to have a hangover tomorrow. Slips out from under you and begins to remove your clothes. Batting away your wandering hands that are attempting to climb under his shirt. He leaves you passed out on top of the covers to get water and pain reliever. Returning to your sad attempt at getting yourself off. Huffs at you to let him do it, because he secretly loves how pliable and vocal you are when he gives you head this way.
JHS: is also in bed, you strip down to your panties and climb under the covers with him. He sleepily pulls you back into him, large hands drifting down your bare body. You have no trouble rousing Hoseok for drunken foreplay, he’s already hard. But he just wants a little cock warming tonight. To feel you clench around him as he plucks your nipples between nimble fingers and drifts off into the wettest dream of his life.
KNJ: was up late reading, stands up to greet you, reading glasses still on. Catches your mouth just as you tug his face to yours. The two of you clumsily fumbling with each other across the living room. He curses as he accidentally drops you onto the coffee table. But you’re unharmed and laughing, hands already reaching to tug down his sweats. Giving him a thoroughly dedicated blow job. Until he coats your throat and is moaning at you to stop.
PJM: is waiting for you in the bedroom, watching a new drama. Waiting in his boxers for the return of handsy and affectionate you. This is the only time that you’re almost as touchy with him as he is you. You don’t even take your dress off, just drop your panties at the bedroom door. Climbing onto Jimin’s lap to kiss the lips you had been thinking about since your second drink. It’s slow and intense sex that has you both crying out from overstimulation.
KTH: is mopey of course that he couldn’t go with you and the "girls". Has a bit of a wine buzz and is dancing around the kitchen to some Leon Bridges. You slip into his waltz and Tae serenades you, spinning you around the island. Until you’re pulled into a mutual kiss like two magnets, charged by the music and alcohol pulsing through your veins. He pins you against the island with his husky, low groans. Fingers slipping under the hem of your dress, and under your panties until his fingers are coated in your essence. He swallows your cries of pleasure, murmuring quiet pleas against your lips, begging for you to take him out next time.
JJK: he of course is gaming when you get home. So you slip past him, dropping your clothes along the way to catch his attention. He grumbles to his teammates in frustration, excusing himself from the game. Running to catch up with you just as you make it to the bedroom door, nude as fuck. You squeal as he spins you around and peppers wet, open mouth, kisses from your neck to the top of your knees. Before folding you across the edge of the bed, ass bare to him. Making quick, erratic work of your orgasms. Before collapsing on top of you, his t-shirt collecting the sweat that had accumulated on your back. He abandons the game to climb into bed with you, cuddling naked.
© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes
All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.
#imagines#bts smut#bts fanfiction#bts senarios#bts imagines#bts fic#bts x reader#bts fanfic#knj smut#ksj smut#myg smut#jhs smut#pjm smut#kth smut#jjk smut#knj x reader#ksj x reader#myg x reader#jhs x reader#pjm x reader#kth x reader#jjk x reader#kim namjun#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoogni#jung hoseok#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook
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Dialogue #2
Setting: Kim Taehyung has a demon inside him that feeds on sexual pleasure, when he and the OC/Reader finally have sex, he loses control of himself, and the demon takes over pulling too much energy from them. They wake up later to his worried hovering.
-
"What are you? Some kind of sexual dementor?" OC/R laughs dryly when he gives them a chocolate bar to get their blood sugar back up.
Taehyung tilts his head, "I don't understand that reference."
OC/R sighs, "Harry Potter will be added to our watch list. We will have to pirate it though; we can’t fund that transphobes lifestyle."
#tw harry potter#tw jkr mention#tw jk rowling#writing prompt#writing prompts#writing ideas#writing inspiration#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#prompts#dialogue#dialogue prompt#dialogue inspiration#character dialogue#writing dialogue#kth#kim taehyung#taehyung#kth x reader#kth smut#kim taehyung smut#bts#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts headcanons#taehyung imagine#taehyung x reader#taehyung scenarios#taehyung smut#monster fucker
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Crazy for You | kth (teaser)
☆summary: you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?
☆pairing: Kim Taehyung x female reader
☆rating: 18+
☆genre: best friend’s older brother to lovers, a little bit of fake dating trope, idol!au, angst, smut, fluff, snippets of life
☆warnings: alcohol consumption, getting ghosted before the story takes place, lying/hiding the truth to a best friend for months, unclear relationship (and what comes with it aka reader feels cheated on (rightfully so?)), sort of miscommunication? but not really, cursing, mention of a grandparent passing away, a very awkward dinner with all the members and their own readers (no one is named, gets a little redundant? but since everyone is a reader, it had to be done), pregnancy (at the veryyyy end of the fic), explicit content: virgin and unexperienced!reader, dom!tae, praising, fingering, ass slapping, tits play, oral sex (female and male receiving), tied-up sex, whip (not really used in the fic), dirty talking?, protected and unprotected sex, jerking off, taehyung is lowkey a freak
☆word count: 46.8k
☆a/n: aaaah here is a teaser for my upcoming Taehyung fic! It is once again an angsty fic with a happy ending (I can’t seem to be able to write something else than angst, can I :’) ). Once again, it is a very long fic, but you know how I write by now hahaha
Read the other establishments in the Life Goes On series here!
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
“Prove it”, you breathed.
His eyes widened again, but soon they were overcome by darkness, a cloud that covered the light you had seen there before. He wet his lips, looking at you, shaking his head slightly as if he didn’t believe you were real. He then leaned down to speak into your ear. “You just want to be touched, do you?”
Your blood started boiling in your veins at the feeling of his warm breath on the side of your face. “I want to know why people like sex that much.”
“I could show you.”
To have Kim Taehyung say that to you turned you into playdough. Playdough that he could mold into whatever shape he preferred and you didn’t even care. It was your teenager self’s fantasy after all.
And maybe you should have been worried, by his willingness to show you. Maybe you should have been ticked off by it, yet you still found yourself whispering, “Please show me, Tae.”
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Coming Friday the 20th, 5 pm EST
#crazy for you#kim taehyung smut#kth smut#taehyung smut#kim taehyung fluff#kth fluff#taehyung fluff#kim taehyung angst#kth angst#taehyung angst#kim taehyung fanfiction#kim taehyung fanfic#kim taehyung fic#kth fanfiction#kth fanfic#kth fic#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung x you#kth x reader#kth x you#taehyung x reader#taehyung x you#life goes on series
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55 taehyung
When I wake up you're not next to me / Guess I'm missing all your energy / That's all I want / Promise I am not your enemy / I just need another memory / That's all I want / 'Cause all I want is you
» pairing: taehyung x reader
» genre: BTS | 18+ | drabble | exes to friends/future lovers | fluff | angst
» wc/date: 1k | December 2022
» warnings: alcohol | taehyung is Gentle and Soft and Everything Good in the World
» masterlist | AO3 | send me ur thots 👅
» notes: this made me so delulu you have no idea 😫 also this was my first time writing in present tense and ngl i kinda like it 👀
“You’re still the love of my life.”
Candlelight casts dancing shadows across Taehyung’s face. They highlight the sharpness of his jawline and reflect orange sparkles in his dark eyes. You want to believe the sudden cool breeze cutting through an otherwise warm summer night makes you shiver, but you know that would be a lie. No, Taehyung is to blame for your jitters. He always is. It’s the look he gives you as he lifts his wine glass to his mouth, his tongue briefly slipping out to wet his lips before taking in the red liquid.
How many glasses were you on?
You press your fingers to your cheeks, knowing your skin isn’t hot because of the wine.
You were wine drunk the first time you met Taehyung. You tell everyone you don’t remember that night, but it’s only to save yourself from the embarrassment. You were at a house party hosted by someone you genuinely don’t remember anymore. Although most of the night was a drunken blur, you do remember Taehyung’s warm hands squeezing your own. You remember how gentle he was, how his thumbs rubbed circles into your skin to soothe you while you blabbered through hot tears about your friend leaving you alone at the party. His willingness to find a quiet corner to talk down a stranger from a drunken panic attack was everything anyone needed to know about Taehyung, in your opinion. Calm, patient, and unafraid of looking someone in the eyes during their worst moment and showing them kindness without any judgment or ridicule.
You couldn’t have imagined that a year later you would move in with the gentle boy from the party. You couldn’t have imagined that you’d get to hold those warm hands all day, every day, whenever you wanted.
You also couldn’t have imagined that two years later you’d be moving out.
The gentle boy from the party never changed. Sure, he grew up. He finished graduate school, got a “big kid job” as he put it, adopted a dog, and bought a condo. He matured, but he didn’t change, not really. He was still the same gentle boy.
You were the one who changed.
“You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.” Taehyung gives you a sad smile when silence falls between the two of you long enough for him to come to his own conclusions. “I suppose that was unfair of me to tell you.”
And there he goes, being considerate when you’re the one who has been so, so unfair.
“Why,” you blurt out.
Taehyung looks as though he’s going to speak, but your waiter suddenly appears at your table to inquire about the food that’s gone mostly uneaten on your plates and the bottle of wine that’s halfway gone.
It’s so easy to get lost in Taehyung’s presence, to forget that there’s a world beyond him. You remind yourself that you’re at an expensive restaurant, on the outdoor patio. All around you are couples sharing a late dinner beneath the stars. It’s Valentine’s Day. The waiter is gone now.
“Why?” Your eyes refocus on Taehyung who now has his fingers threaded together beneath his chin. Despite his sad smile, there’s a quirk to his eyebrows that makes your stomach do something you wish it wouldn’t.
“I treated you horribly. I put all my energy into writing that stupid fucking book. Writing imaginary worlds instead of paying attention to the one I was in. The one you were part of.” Your voice is small, but Taehyung’s has always been soft enough to never overpower yours.
He sucks on his teeth and lets his hands fall into his lap. With a cocked head, he watches you for a few too many heartbeats for your liking.
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” He takes another sip of his wine. Waits.
“Are you quoting Maya Angelou at me right now?” Your question is meant to carry an accusatory tone, but it’s nothing more than light teasing, and perhaps a bit of confusion.
And then there’s the boxy grin you once had the privilege of waking up to every morning. Now you had one of those alarm clock lamps that mimic the sun rising. It’s nowhere near as bright as Taehyung’s smile.
“Perhaps.” He puts his hands up when he knows you’re about to press him further. “But it’s a good quote!”
He always knew how to speak your language, even when you hadn’t tried to learn how to speak his.
“It’s an excuse for shitty behavior,” you point out.
“It’s a promise for a better future.”
You stop yourself from running your mouth and force yourself to sit with his words. Taehyung, forever the optimist. Where you saw failures, he saw opportunities for growth.
“Neither of us knew what we were doing,” Taehyung continues softly. He reaches over to take your hand in his. It’s been a year and he’s still soft, still warm, still calming. “But now we know better.”
You want to tell him he’s wrong; you were the only fuck-up in this equation. But you don’t because Taehyung never lets you get away with speaking poorly of yourself, even after a year apart.
“I want to try… to do better. But I don’t want to hurt you if it’s not good enough.”
Taehyung lets out an airy laugh, his intense gaze finally falling from your eyes to instead gaze at your fingers interlocked with his. “I’m not so fragile, Y/N.” And just as quickly, his dark eyes are on you once again. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to look him in the eyes without feeling like your heart is in your throat. “And even if I was, I’d still rather be hurt by you over and over for the rest of my life than settle for loving someone I can never give myself fully to.”
“I wouldn’t let it happen over and over again,” you whisper, willing the prickly feeling at the corner of your eyes to disappear.
“Mhmm,” Taehyung hums with a squeeze of your hand. “And that’s how I know we’ll be okay.”
all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & AO3
do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work
#thebtswritersclub#purplearmynet#taehyung x reader#taehyung fluff#taehyung imagine#taehyung fanfic#taehyung scenarios#bts taehyung#bts#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts au#gimmethatagustd#jai writes#kth#clubzerooclock#bts fluff#spotify drabble#drabble request#it takes two#bts angst#taehyung angst
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taehyung search:tropes
ksj // myg // jhs // knj // pjm // kth // jjk
» arranged marriage au
» android au
» band au
» babysitter au
» bad boy au
» based on a movie
» based on a tv show
» best friends au
» best friends to lovers au
» best friends girlfriend au
» bodyguard au
» boyfriend au
» brothers best friend au
» break up au
» ceo au
» chaebol au
» cheating au
» christmas au
» childhood friends au
» coworkers au
» coworkers to lovers
» college au
» dad au
» dilf au
» domestic au
» enemies to lovers au
» established relationship au
» exes to lovers au
» exes au
» escort au
» fake dating au
» favourites
» frat boy au
» fiancé au
» forbidden love au
» friends to lovers au
» friends with benefits au
» fuck boy au
» fuck buddies au
» high school au
» husband au
» idiots to lovers au
» idol au
» infidelity au
» love triangle au
» mafia au
» marriage au
» neighbours au
» parents au
» past lovers au
» pining au
» pianist au
» poly au
» pregnancy au
» professor au
» rivals to lovers au
» roommate au
» royalty au
» sex worker au
» single dad au
» single parent au
» slice of life au
» soulmate au
» social media au
» slow burn au
» strangers to lovers au
» sugar daddy au
» tattoo artist au
» teacher au
» threesome au
» tsundere au
» unrequited love au
» virgin au
» wedding au
» werewolf au
» yandere au
find more here..
[updated 05.12.22]
#kiki!fic!rec#taehyung tropes and au's#kth#taehyung library#taehyung fanfic#taehyung fic recs#kiki's library#bts fanfiction#taehyung
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Ｐｕｍｐｋｉｎ ＫＴＨ
Synopsis - You meet a guy at the Halloween party and get without him without any secondhand thoughts. Halloween Special!!
Pairing - Dark! Shitty! Kim Taehyung x Fem!Reader
Warnings - GASLIGHTING, NONCON, shitty Taehyung, drug induced sex, acts of violence, VIOLENCE AGAINST READER, DOMESTIC ABUSE
Authors Note - Fuck it Halloween special coming early. I’m going more lengthy and different fandom this go round. Please let me know if you guys would like more, I’m just in a hardcore bts phase rn lol.
A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!
“It's literally the party of the century! What do you mean you don't wanna go?!” Your friend fussed at you.
“I just don't like Halloween parties all that much, too much can happen so sudden you know?” You worried looking in the mirror at the angel costume she had brought for you. The dress was skin tight, showing your touching thighs, your angel wings small and itchy, all topped off with a small halo headpiece. “Plus no one is going to know me there…”
She wanted you to go to some random party, all because her boyfriend was going to be there, and she didn't want to arrive alone. “Come on, it's not going to be that bad! Trust me I'll stay by your side the entire time. You definitely know me!” She reassured you holding your shoulder. You smiled timidly at her and took a deep breath in.
“Fine.”
🎃
She left you as soon as you arrived, leaving you to standing on a nearby wall in the houses kitchen. You should've known not to trust her and and her empty words. You always fell for the same scheme.
It was a amazing hiding space from the drunks walking in and out getting shot after shot. Everything was loud and drowned out each anxiety filled thought the instant you thought it. These were all definitely older people, you being just a freshman in collage. How did she even get invited to this place.
You looked up and made direct eye contact with a pair of dark brown eyes. Your breath left your chest as a guy stared at you from across the kitchen, a beer bottle in hand. Once he realized you were definitely looking at him, he gave you a small smile. His face was almost perfect, thick brows, tanned skin, a small mole on the bottom of his perfect lip, and god a body you could love. He wore a pair black pants and a dark turtle neck sweater. On top of it all he had on a leather jacket, acting as if a cherry on top, bringing the entire look together. Everything about him had you flustered and looking away quickly. You couldn't help yourself though, sneaking glances.
One of the bulkier dudes at the party went up to him, dapping him and passing a lit cigarette, the guy in black taking it and puffing a cloud in the others face. The guy choked on the smoke and scowled at him. The guy laughed and continued to smoke, as if it was some small major victory. Something about him screamed pure danger, and you liked it. You just kept looking at the guy, and looking away.
While looking down, you saw foot steps approach you from afar. “Your way too pretty to be here by yourself.” It was the same guy from across the room now standing in front of you hands tucked in his pockets. He leaned on the wall next to you, pushing your body further into the cramped space. You looked off to the side, giving a small smile. You started playing with your hair like a school girl.
“You don't have anyone here to talk to do you?”
“No, not really.” You muttered looking back at him. He gave a small smile and placed a hand on your shoulder. His other flicked the burnt ash on the end of the cigarette.
“Well you can talk to me all night if you want, in fact I was just about to leave, this shit fucking sucks. You can come with if you like? This doesn’t look like your type of crowd.” He laughed leaning up puffing smoke in the most angelic of clouds towards the ceiling. You coughed and he snickered at you.
“I can’t, I don't even know your name. Nor your age… Plus my ride should still be here and I don't wanna scare her.” Its not like you didn't want to go with this elusive stranger, but you still had to be cautious. He seemed older than you, plus like you said, you didn't want to just magically disappear on your friend.
“Well that's easy to get out the way. My name is Taehyung, but my friends call me Tae. And she obviously didn't worry about you enough to leave you here with a bunch of drunks now did she?” He lead you away slowly his hand rubbing against your back. You saw her in the corner kissing up on some guy, she made eye contact and then looked at Taehyung. She winked at you before going back to kissing on her guy.
She probably wasn't even planning on bringing you home.
“I guess I can go with you…” You muttered being ambushed by a gust of cold wind, the front door opening wide. He showed you the way to his black motorbike, handing you his helmet. It was gorgeous, the black shimmering in the moonlight.
“I’m going to need you to hold on alright pumpkin?”
🎃
That night on forward he was yours, as you were his. He started off as one of your close friends, which turned into your boyfriend a few weeks later. Tae constantly had you moving, bringing you out on dates, going to his apartment, and even just taking you out. He loved to spoil his girl.
Today he just so happened to have brought you to the nearby mall. He bragged to his friends about spoiling you, its because of what you deserved in his opinion. Tae talked about how you brought out the best in him. Apparently he’s been caught up in some bad stuff, but he cuddled and whispered about how you brought him away from all that. Back down to planet earth.
You were deep in thought as, Taehyung came behind you with a giant white fur coat as you were going through the racks in the department store. “Wouldn't this look amazing on you? Come on try it on for me.” You giggled dropping your purse as Tae helped you put it on, the bottom of the coat nearly grazing the floor. “See I told you, y’ look stunning pumpkin.”
“Really?” You asked twirling around in the coat.
“Would I ever lie to you beautiful?” He asked catching your waist and hugging you, bringing you closer to him. He smiled at you, your heart warming at just how sweet he could be. You leaned up puckering your lips out, Taehyung doing the same, giving a small peck. “I’m going to go pay for this alright, you can go ahead and keep looking just in case.” You nodded giving him a small wave as he left, then heading way over to the accessories section of the store. The sets all adorned with gems. You jumped as a hand touched your shoulder.
“Hi there ma’am would you like to purchase anything!” It was a store clerk, the guy scaring you instantly.
“Jesus! You scared me! Uhh no sir, I’m just looking. I cant really afford this anyways.” You say putting up the set of jewelry. He picked up the necklace that went with it, showing it off to you.
“Yeah but its gorgeous don't you agree?” He said unhooking the latch. “You can try it on if you’d like?” You furrowed your brows thinking, well it wouldn't hurt. You nodded turning around to look in the small mirror. You watched as he put the necklace around your neck. Suddenly the clerk collapsed with a grunt, the necklace falling on the ground. You turned around quickly seeing Taehyung on top of him wailing at his face.
“Stop! Stop it Tae! Please!” You yelled pulling at your boyfriends back, but he didn't listen and just kept going. Blood flew everywhere.
“You wanna fuck my girl?! Huh!?” He picked up the guy the collar and dropped it back on the ground, the back of his head hitting the tiled floor. You watched as blood poured from his nose and lip.
“No man… I swear!” The clerk cried out. You kept trying to pull Tae off, but Taehyungs hand flew back into your cheek, making you collapse on the ground. You began to full on sob, your cheek throbbing now. You looked around you a crowd of shoppers surrounding the ordeal.
Taes head whipped around at the sound you sobbing. He quickly got off the barely breathing guy and helped you up. You pushed yourself away from him. “Stay away from me! Please!” You yelled walking past him and straight for the department stores doors. You will find your own way home, you couldn't spend another second of your day with that monster. You walked straight out the doors and onto the sidewalk leading to the bus stop.
“Pumpkin! Baby!” He chased after you, in which you turned around to face him.
“Go away you psycho!”
”He looked at you weird, what did you expect me to do?!”
”Not beat a man half to death maybe!?” You huffed out searching for your credit card.
“You haven't experienced the world like I have, the world is a fucked up place alright!? I just want you to be safe. And I did it the only way I know how to.” He grabbed at your shoulder, your shirt getting stained with the clerks blood. You froze, you really didn't know him, nor what he could do. Were you making the wrong decision when you decided to be with him? “I love you so much baby… I’m sorry alright… It wont happen again. It will never happen again.”
God he seemed so genuine…
“Fine… Lets just… get out of here okay.” You suggested Taehyung nodding. He handed you your bag with your new coat in it, you quickly putting it on.
Sometimes he was so sweet, you wished that sweetness could get rid of the bruise on your cheek.
🎃
A few days later, you stood outside his apartment, coming to surprise him with some left over Halloween sugar cookies. You knew how much he raved about them and really you just wanted to dial down for a bit.
You knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer. You heard stumbling coming from the other side of the door and the door swung open to a drugged out Taehyung. His eyes were blood shot red, the room reeked of weed, and he was drenched in sweat.
You took in a deep breath, messing with your sweater sleeve. “I thought we could hang out for a bit… I brought cookies…” You mumbled not wanting to look at him. These were the moments that terrified you, the fear that he would go a-wall and hit you. After what happened at the mall, he seemed unpredictable.
And yet all he did was stare at you, pupils dilated, chest heaving.
“Yeah… Come in.” He stepped back into the apartment, leaving a open view of his usually pristine living space. The glass coffee table in front the sofa had a lighter and so much just mess everywhere.
God he was doing again. And you hated seeing him like this.
He sat down on the couch motioning for you to get close to him in which you did cozying up next to him, placing the cookies down on the table, moving some of the mess there. You gulped as he wrapped his arm around you breathtakingly tight. He leaned into your hair taking a deep whiff. “You smell so good baby.” His entire being smelled like weed, his breath reeked of it.
“Taehyung, you know I don't like the drug stuff…” You mumbled turning away from him. He sighed kissing the top of your head.
“Baby, pumpkin, I’m alright. I’m good. We’re good. I just really want to hold you right now.” His hand trailed to your thigh rubbing up and down. “And feel you, every inch of you.” He whispered into your ear, licking the rim afterwards. You shuddered pushing him away. He let go, having a surprised look on his face.
“I’m not playing with you right now, you keep saying your going to get off of them but you never do! I don't like what you become on them. In fact I don't like what you've become period! If I make you such a good person why can’t you act like it!!” You put your foot down for the first time ever with him. In which he didn't like, he didn't like that at all. Taehyung was never the guy to take any opposition.
“What are you going to do huh? Leave me? For what huh? You have fucking nothing.” He raised his voice standing up. he already towered over you when you were both standing up but this put you right at his crotch.
“I cant deal with this right now, I just wanted to have a good time like we used to have. Like after the party! That was nice Taehyung.” You stood up not bothering to even pick up the cookies, You just wanted to spend some time alone. You needed to cool off before continuing to take to him. “I’m going cool off. And don't follow me.”
“Don't you dare leave.”
You ignored him pushing past him and heading straight for the door.
“Take one more step and I swear-”
“Whatever Tae.”
You were almost there until you felt a punch to the center of your back. You collapse in pain doubling over. The breath was taken out from under your lungs and you looked up to Taehyung standing over you, sweat dripping down. “I told you to not leave. But you never seem to fucking listen huh?” He waited for you to get up on your own, coughing a wheezing. “Get up.”
“What… What was…” You didn't even get to finish as he pushed you against the door. He kicked you over to where you laid on your back, and he could get up close and personal. Taehyungs breath fanned over your face. His hair covered his eyes as he read your face.
His hands went to your sweater pulling it over your now tear stained cheeks, the eyeliner you put on running with the concealer. His hands went to your face smearing it all together all the while pulling at your cheeks and smiling, it was such a shame because you really wanted to look good for him. Not before all this, as he pulled you up by your arm and threw you into the door.
He just kept laughing and joking around. All the while banging you against the door. “You gonna act right huh?!” He yelled in your face, patting your cheeks. You nodded and he just repeated himself getting louder and louder. “What are you crying for huh? You don't have to cry, your alright,” he let out a wheezed out laugh, “We’re alright! See!” he harshly went down, pinning your legs to the door. He pulled up your skirt, teeth hooking in your panties yanking them down. Tae started to let out a small dry laugh, rubbing at your folds. “I just have to give you exactly what you need.” He murmured into you cunt.
Tae attached himself to you instantly. His tongue was deep within you, scooping out your hole. He murmured into your slit how beautiful you were, eyes looking dead as he ate you out with so much vigor. You pushed against his forehead trying to get him off you. “Tae! Stop! Stop it!!” You cried out trying to wail against his head. He snarled at you pushing you into the door further, opening your folds to get deeper into you.
Its not like hes not done this to you before, its just different now… hes rabid, and starved.
He pulled himself off of you, licking his way to your lips. You turned your head to the side, not wanting Tae to keep going. “Fucking look at me!” He yelled at you, moving your head back to where he was kissing you. The entire time you could see him move to slide off his sweat pants, his white T shirt coming off mid kiss. His cock shot up hitting against your legs, pre leaking.
Tae grabbed at your legs, hiking them up on the dips of his hips. He lined himself up with your ate out entrance. Your legs were sore, making you just dangling as he pushed himself in slowly. His head fell back as he embraced your warmth. He pushed you into the door beginning to thrust harshly into you. He licked at your neck, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. He bit into your neck bruising it slightly, sucking hickies into your neck. You hated the sound of him fucking you relentlessly.
And you just allowed him to do it, why did you?
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum in this cunt…” He mumbled grabbing your ass.
“Please…. Please pull out. That's all I want please…” Tae leaned his forehead onto yours, his drugged out red eyes looking into yours. His weed stained breath breathing heavily into your face. He shushed you for about the thousandth time that night. He sped up finally emptying himself deep inside you. He groaned and finally stopped carrying you back to the couch, sitting down first. He was still deep inside you.
“Just let me chill out… I wanna go again… Grab that and my lighter for me.” You did as he asked handing him the rolled blunt. He held it in his mouth, nudging his head for you to light it. In which you did with no questions asked. He took a deep breath bringing his lips to yours, blowing the smoke into your mouth before kissing you deeply.
“Shit I love you so much…”
You stayed silent.
“Say it back.”
“I… I love you too Taehyung…”
“Mmm you better…”
#dark writing#tw dark content#tw yandere#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere blog#tw gaslighting#yandere bts#yandere kim taehyung#dark bts#kim taehyung#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#tw violence#tw abuse#tw drugs#tw noncon#KTH#kth fanfic#Spotify
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hiiiiii i would like to request 8 & 12 from the angst list (i'm sorry!) and you can pick whatever ship your heart desires
congrats on your milestone bby!
deluded | kth
you walk into your home, only to find your boyfriend wrapped up in the arms of someone else, on your own bed, causing you to realize how you were being deluded into believing the truth of your relationship.
pairing : taehyung x reader
rating / genre : nc-17 // angst, infidelity au
word count : 1.4k
warnings : cheating, swearing, crying, gaslighting for a second but oc is strong 💪🏻
note : thankyou jess!! i am so late lol but i loved the idea! hope you like it! also, it's unedited 😭 prompt — “You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?” & “You really were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I mean that.” from this list
masterlist
The sky is overcast with clouds, ready to pour anytime now. Just like you, it's on the verge of tears.
"I, I can explain–"
"What?" you spit out, cutting him off.
It's so funny, that after just a two week long business trip, you return home– to surprise your boyfriend, but are met with him woven in your silk sheets, pleasuring someone else. It's laughable, how blind you have been. Obviously this wouldn't have been his first time, right? Because the girl looked so familiar.
How could you not recognise your own coworker, whom you had almost called your best friend?
"What are you going to explain? That it was a mistake?" your voice gets louder as you drop your bag on the floor and walk towards him, "Was it a mistake, hm, Taehyung? Were you not fucking her on my bed?"
You had twisted the lock open, faint noises greeting you right at the threshold of your home. That very moment had you raising your walls and walking cautiously. It was in plain sight– the door wasn't shut closed, infact open, because of course there was no intruder expected.
You hadn't dropped your bag, or screamed, or even ran away. You had simply stood there and cleared your throat, because apparently, their sounds were too loud to register the clicking of the lock or the steps you had taken into your broken relationship, your broken heart.
Taehyung doesn't give you an answer, his tan torso littered with marks– marks that weren't made by your lips, but by someone else's. His head hangs low, and you have this sudden urge to slap him, to grab his hair and make him look at you, look at the damage he has done.
"Are you going to speak?" your voice booms around the apartment – no longer your home. No, it lost that privilege the moment your boyfriend had defiled it by even thinking of going back on you. The sound waves echo off the walls, seeping back into your skin, and filling your veins with a new found energy.
The energy to get the fuck away from this man.
His eyes meet yours as he raises his head, but still, his mouth is zipped. There's a glint in his caramel eyes, one that threatens to spill out. You could drown in them, lose yourself in his eyes, but the red marks blooming to a darker shade are way too evident for you to step wrong. You can't risk falling again.
You can't risk being deluded again.
Your steps are quick as you walk towards him. He looks up, ready to anticipate anything and everything from you, but you step around him and head to your bedroom. Not your– the bedroom. Your face automatically forms a grimace as soon as you step into it, throwing your closet open and grabbing all the clothes and belongings you find first, stuffing them in a small suitcase which you had grabbed from the side. You'll come later for other things. Right now you just need to get out.
Thunder rumbles outside of the window, and your head snaps towards the direction, albeit not able to see the window, but still able to feel the misery, the feeling of the loud rumble all too well. You don't even know what you are feeling. It's like you have went numb, just taking the steps your brain tells you to take, so you don't wake up in a worse state of misery. You want to cry, you want to shout, you want to throw your precious vase at his head– but you can't get yourself to do that, or anything for that matter. Your heart has broken and already shrunk into nothingness, so void of feelings that you feel … nothing.
You fumble for your phone, to ask your best friend Momo if you can crash at her place, and as soon as you unlock it, Taehyung's hand touches your arm, making you freeze.
"Y/N, please. Don't." his voice wavers and you wanna ask him, why? Climbing on the top of the tallest building, you wanna shout at him, that why did he do that? Were you that inefficient? Were you that unlovable? Were you that insignificant for him that he had been so quick to find solace in someone else's arms, all while you were still there and trying?
You take a deep breath, none of your turmoil reflecting in your well leveled voice,
"Please don't say that. I am so sorry."
“You broke me, Taehyung. You ruined everything we had and– for what?” you don't break, no. That would be weak. So what if it's almost four years of love vanishing into nothingness, so what if your heart will now always have a hole shaped like his form. So what? You can definitely live with it, survive the rest of your life, very well, of course.
Now this, irks you.
"A sorry won't make you go back in the past and change your fucking mind. So keep this act to yourself, and save the words for the girl who just ran out of here," you grab your bag and rush out of the bedroom, hints of tears lining your eyelids, before you speak again, "That is, if she is the one you are going to now."
He steps in front of you, blocking the main door from your view.
"I wasn't sleeping with multiple people."
"Doesnt make me feel any better, you asshole." Deep breaths, that's what you tell yourself. You really need to save your energy, especially if you have to drive all the way to your friend's house with a broken heart in a broken weather.
"I didn't mean it tha-"
"Save it." you sniffle, and step around him, yet again. Still better than the way he had stepped all over your heart, your love and your devotion. You are still, and will always be better than him.
Always.
"Save it for when I come back here to grab the rest of my things, Taehyung. Because after a five hour flight, I don't have the energy left to fight you." you grab your keys and don't look back at him.
"So you are just letting go this easily? It's like you aren't even affected by this." you pause as his tone suddenly, changes? What the actual fuck? Does he think you are the one to be blamed here? Does he know how he has ruined any and every thing for you, atleast in the foreseeable future? This has to be the most ridiculous thing he has ever said.
You let out a snort, "You are going lower than I ever expected you to."
It's like those words of yours bring him back to his senses (if there were any left) and he pleads, "No, sorry. I am- I didn't mean to say that."
"You never mean anything. Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" you unlock the door and swing it open, not even bothering to listen to him. One of your legs is already out of the apartment when he speaks again.
"Yes, yes I did. I did mean it, please." At this point, it's starting to get annoying. This man has nothing else to say except please? No explanations, no … nothing? It's like he is stuck on that one key while typing, and it prints the same letter without any breaks. Like he has speared your heart with a knife and is not able to pull it out, so is just twisting it more, trying.
You completely step out of the apartment, your suitcase in tow– and this time, he doesn't stop you. You laugh low. Even he is tired of the constant forward and backward game, tired of acting as if he was in that game in the first place, as if he cares for you anymore.
It's when you turn around to look at him, and your old home for the last time that you say the thing which has been haunting you, and will live in the nooks and crevices of your hollow heart forever.
“You really were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I mean that.”
The first tear falls down in tandem with the first raindrop landing on your cheek as you step in the parking lot, the sky hiding your misery with its own.
— hii. i wrote this so quick at night. I'll definitely go over it in the morning again lol. but in the meantime, i like it. 😉
🧸 please let me know what you think of this by reblogs, comments and asks, as feedback is highly appreciated as always. 🤍 (also, no taglist for requests)
© sugarwithtea 2023. do not repost.
#taehyung#taehyung angst#bts#taehyung x reader#bts angst#kim taehyung#kim taehyung angst#taehyung fanfiction#taehyung scenarios#taehyung imagine#kth#btswritersclub#btshoneyhive#bangtantheatrenet#micdropnet#networkbtsstorybook#k labels#kflixnet#bangtanoasis#bangtanbathhouse#sugar!☕#swt requests
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Growing Pains
wc: 4.7k
a/n: just know this was written YEARS ago when I was dealing with insecurity issues and such💀 I promise my writing ain't as dramatic as this
⚠𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆⚠: Eating Disorder topics such as Anorexia will be mentioned/insinuated. To those that may find this triggering, please skip to the next chapter or read with caution
Dreamer M.List
ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ
′𝐈 have to do this′
′I NEED to be perfect...'
Staring at the food spread across the table, I muster a smile as a plate is handed to me. Yet once I'm alone, it ends up in the trash, unseen.
'...and I'll do whatever it takes for it to happen.′
I ignore the low growls and take a sip from a water bottle, finding comfort in the temporary fullness it does to my empty stomach.
"All right guys! We gotta do some warm-ups to get our muscles ready: Arm circles, leg stretches, high knees to complete before we dive into the regular twelve count of squats and jumping jacks with five laps to wrap it all up!" The instructor's upbeat and encouraging voice cuts through the air. "And then we can start with today's dance!"
Groans of protest bubble around me, but they do the tasks anyway in order to avoid getting scolded.
I breeze through the majority of activities with ease. It wasn't until when those all-too-familiar black spots forming at the edge of my vision did I become wary.
Luckily, I managed to get rid of them or at least slow the process by slowing down my pace.
"Hey, you okay?" The worry in his tone interrupts my focus.
Offering another smile, I dismiss my body's weaking state. "I'm f-fine."
Not a moment later my legs suddenly gives out.
A pair of hands catches me in time and look into my exhausted eyes.
"Hey, I think you need to lay down. You don't look too good. Have you eaten lunch yet?"
Their worry tugs at my heart; the reflection of my gaunt face in their eyes feels like a dunk of cold water.
′Maybe this isn't right...I...I should stop.′
I almost confess—about starving myself for weeks. Hoping to get small and beautiful enough, to get what everyone told me I'm the opposite of. Th-
"Come on now! I know we joke you act like a Panda, but I didn't think you'd get tired that fast! Maybe it's time you stop eating like them before you start to really look like one!" Someone calls out, laughs echoing around.
The vulnerable expression I once had hardens into a cold, emotionless mask.
′No. I can't give up now...not when they all still see me as fat. I can't continue to embarrass them anymore.′
"Hey ignore them, they're just playing. But seriously though, you should lay down and eat something. It looks like you've been starving yourself or something...have you?"
The handsome male's concern is met with my cold glare.
"Leave me alone. You never cared then, so don't now!" I break from his hold with a sneer and start back running.
The black spots returns with a vengeance, but they only push me to go even faster. A twisted motivation if you will.
After an agonizing ten minutes, I complete the laps with nods and pats of approval for being one of the first.
My body screams for rest so I sluggishly make my way towards the seats.
Each step is heavier than the last, the world blurring into a bright haze as the sounds around fade into the distance.
′Just a bit further...′
But my body can't go anymore.
With one final step, I collapse onto the floor.
The sickening sound of my head hitting the ground causes everyone to go silent in shock as a shockwave of pain zipped through my skull.
I feel a wet warmth slowly seep against my head causing my hair to go damp.
A panicked voice cuts through the haze. "O-oh my god! Somebody help! T-there's blood!"
"Call the ambulance!"
Hands cradle my face as a light flashes into my eyes. I don't feel my pupils reacting properly.
"Hey hey, look at me. Are you alright? Just focus on me."
I open my mouth, but no words come out.
"Don't talk, conserve your energy. Help is coming," a soothing voice promises, but my consciousness is slipping away.
With the last of my strength, I want to scream, admit that I was wrong. That I should've said something.
But only a whisper escapes.
"H-h..."
My eyes roll back as darkness surrounds my vision.
I gladly accept and let it take me into its welcoming grasp with two words that I wanted to say before I'm all the way gone...
Help me.
════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════
It was a regular day at the band's dorm.
Jungkook was currently teaching Jin how to play a racing game after the elder had continuously begged him to.
"Press the left button."
"Left?"
"No, just flip the controller and it'll run on its own—of course the left button!"
Jin shoots him a glare. "Well damn! Actin' like it's easy for me to adjust to these types of controls like you do, oh so great Golden Maknae. Maybe tone done the arrogance a little yeah?"
Jungkook could only scoff in response with an eye roll. "Honestly, after being taught the instructions for thirty minutes straight, you'd think you'd at least know how to make the car move. But then again, if it doesn't involve food, you're pretty much stupid."
Jin's eyes widened, a mix of shock and indignation flashing across his face. "You little shi—"
"Guys we have to go now!" Their playful squabble is abruptly cut short by a frantic, wide-eyed breathless Taehyung with a grave Namjoon silently in tow.
"Now what is it-oh, my god! What happened?!"
The vocal duo's facade of annoyance immediately drops upon taking in the usually tanned male's pale visage.
Taehyung opens his mouth to say something, but his emotions get the best of him rendering him speechless and teary eyed.
Namjoon quickly wraps an arm around the idol in silent support while Jin exchanges a worried and confused glance with Jungkook.
"What happened, Namjoon? Is everything okay?" Jin asks the leader in concern, leaving the forgotten game behind in favor of embracing a trembling Taehyung.
Namjoon releases a shaky breath, the tension in the room palpable. The sound of the front door slammed echoes into the heavy silence.
"What was that?" Jungkook questions as he grabs his jacket and hat after turning off the TV, ready to spring into action
"That was Yoongi."
Tired of the useless clues and wanting to get straight to the point, Jin presses. "Okay...and why did he leave in such a hurry?"
"It's Jimin...he's in the hospital."
|
|
"We have to hurry up!" Yoongi's voice is thick with urgency, his leg bouncing uncontrollably as dread twists his stomach the closer they get to the given location.
"Calm down Yoongi, everything's going to be alright" Jin sends the tense male a small smile while trying to keep his own distress from showing.
The rapper isn't easily soothed. "That's easy for you to say! You wasn't the fucking one to hear Hoseok's voice over the phone—panicked, scared..."
"Okay, but—"
His words are cut off as they pull up to the hospital. Yoongi doesn't even wait for the car to fully stop before he bolts out the door.
Jin lets out a sigh of resignation before slowly unbuckling his seatbelt. "Come on, let's go."
"Where is he?!" The moment he's near the reception desk, any and all thought of concealing his identity from public's eye is forgotten.
The nurse, unflustered by his panic, maintains her composure. "Sir, you need to calm down and take a seat. We're—"
"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! I am not in the mood to listen to whatever useless bullshit you wanna say unless it has something to do with Jimin," Yoongi interrupts with a sharp glare, his tone bordering on hostile.
The nurse says nothing at first, only staring at him with a blank expression before a low and slow sigh escapes her.
"First of all, I work damn near eighteen hours a day getting piss, vomit, and maybe even shit on me. And I'm also forced to have a smile on my face when assholes like you come up and order me around as if I work for them. I am my own person, and I should not-no, WILL not let some pale ass skinny idol come and boss me around. So sit your ass down in the chair!" She snaps causing Yoongi's eyes to widen in shock before quickly doing what she says.
The woman shift her gaze towards the frozen onlookers who witnessed the whole scene with wide eyes.
An arched brow was all it took for them to follow along and scramble to the seats to avoid her wrath.
Satisfied with their obedience, her stern expression melts into a warm, beautiful smile that seems to make the band's hearts as she step closer.
"Now that we're all on the same page...hello! I will be at your service today. Kingly fill out this form for any future visits." she said, voice a blend of authority and welcome.
A moment of silence pass before Jin breaks out of his daze and accept the clipboard from her.
"Um, w-we were told by one of our bandmates -Jung Hoseok- there has been an altercation with another bandmate -Park Jimin," he says nudging his head towards a silent Yoongi. "That's why we rushed, hence his behavior and actions."
"Well, I was going to tell you that the room you're looking for is number 256. Your friend Mr. Jung Hoseok already notified us you all were on the way. But I couldn't explain that due to a rude interruption," she states, giving a pointed look to Yoongi, who suddenly found the dirt at the bottom of his shoe the most interesting thing ever.
Namjoon stepped in, smoothing over the tension. "And for that, I give you his sincerest apologies. I can assure you he's normally more considerate, right Yoongi?"
Chastened, the guilty male bashfully nods and offers a quiet apology just as the nurse's phone started to ring, demanding her attention.
"Hello? Oh, Oppa!~" Her smile doubles in brightness, the group watching her becoming so captivated with the woman's sudden butterfly-like personality that no one noticed a male creeping into the building.
"Have you eaten today?" Whatever that is said on the other line causes her to pause with a gasp of shock. "No?! You need to take better careful of yourself and health. I can't have you walking around with an empty stomach...What?"
Her scolding morphs into confusion. "You can't dine with me if you're busy with rehearsals...You're not? T-then where are you?...Turn around?"
With hesitant moves, she follow his request only for her eyes to brim with tears at what—or who—awaited her.
Curious for the reason of her sudden emotion, the group's attention diverts to a handsome male causing their eyes to widen.
"Holy shit!" Taehyung's mouth drops at the sight of the very familiar face before him, "Her Oppa is—"
"Impossible...i-it can't be. You're supposed to be all the way across the world doing your tour right now," she softly says before quickly running into the open arms of Byun Baekhyun. [Hehe, Get it? Because EXO did a cover of 'Open arms'?...No?...Okay Imma stop]
"The fuck? Baekhyun is her boyfriend?! Where? When? Why? Shit better yet, how?" Jungkook bitterly questions as he watches the heartwarming scene happening before him.
"Now now, let's not jump to conclusions. Maybe he's a brother or family member. She did call him 'Oppa' after all," Jin weakly says knowing that his theory was a stretch.
Even so, the small part of him that hoped for it to be tr—nevermind...they're kissing.
"You were saying Jin?" Taehyung mumbles with a sad pout, voicing out the same the others felt regardless of just meeting the woman that same day.
"Quite a beautiful looking couple, am I right?" Jin releases a startled yelp at the unexpected voice as it cuts through the dejected air.
Turning from the two lovebirds, they're met with a man in a white lab coat casually checking the charts on his clipboard. "And a little word of advice: he's quiet possessive of her, so I wouldn't try anything if I were you..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Oh, where are my manners! My name is Dr. Choi, I'm the assigned doctor of your bandmate Park Jimin." Dr. Choi introduces himself with a sweet smile, continuing to review the charts at hand.
"Wait. So...so that's her...boyfriend?" Jungkook gasps in disbelief, barely latching on to anything but the word 'couple' in the doctor's previous statement.
"Fiancé actually. I believe you're all acquainted with him and his group? Um...it's EXO...yeah that's the name. Baekhyun here has been working with his idol group while she decided to go to a college that's close to the hospital. Despite how hectic both of their schedules are, they remained together. Just recently got engaged after deciding to get married once she graduates and gets her degree. Anyway back to your friend, Mr. Park...He's been asking for you. So if you would please follow me." Finishing those final words, Dr. Choi pivots and briskly strut down the hallway.
Alerted, Yoongi quickly rise from his seat and follow with the others in tow.
|
|
"Jimin!" A chorus of voices shouts as they burst through the door, startling the oldest maknae from his TV watching.
"Oh~ Hi guys~" Jimin sings out in happiness as he continues to consume the chocolate pudding in front of him.
The room goes silent for a moment as the newly entered group analyzed him with confused gazes.
"Um...w-what's this?" Jungkook exclaims, tense body expecting to see the older male laying in bed with a life support machine hooked up to his broken body.
But instead? He only sees a foot brace adorning the lead dancer's right ankle.
"What? Oh, you mean the cast right? I know it's cool, they decorated it with glow-in-the-dark stickers and markers." Jimin boasts, making Taehyung's eyes widen in awe and quickly approach for a closer look.
Jungkook follows the other maknae in curiosity while Jin and Namjoon go to a corner to check their social medias, leaving a dazed Yoongi alone in the middle of the room.
"...You're okay," Yoongi breaths out in amazement; but as he continues to chant those two words, his face once soft of worry turns into a statue of anger. "Not only did I run out of bed in sickening worry, but I also got my ass handed to me by a nurse just to find out that you're fucking okay?!"
Jimin pouts, a hint of guilt in his tone. "I mean...the fall wasn't just okay. They even said that it's one of the most severe ankle sprains they've had this entire day."
Yoongi scoffs at the response as he begins to pace along the tiled floor in hopes of calming down.
"I can't believe this! Hoseok was literally bawling his eyes out on the phone, saying you were hurt really badly and that there was blood everywhere."
It was now Jimin's turn to frown in confusion.
"Blood? There wasn't any blood. If anything the only red thing there was the fruit punch he wasted on me when he saw me fall. Which, by the way, ended up in my hair and became sticky."
Yoongi's face goes blank. "I'm...I'm gonna kill him."
"Kill who?" Hoseok's light and unsuspecting voice fills the room, everyone silent as they turn to the cheerful man holding bags of food in hand.
"Run bitch, ruuuuun!" Taehyung screams, half-joking and half-serious once seeing Jin and Namjoon stand next to Yoongi.
Hoseok looks confused as he place the food down on a table nearby.
"Huh? But I just got...back..." his words trail off, atmosphere thickening upon catching the stern looks of his bandmates.
"Oh h-hey, Jin...Yoongi...Namjoon," Hoseok quietly greets the three after letting out an audible gulp.
Jin's rebuke is swift. "Don't hey us! Why the hell were you crying and blubbering into the phone like that?! Actually made us fear for Jimin's life and think that something had actually happened to him."
Hoseok holds up his hands in defense with wide eyes. "B-but he really was in serious danger! He could've broken his ankle or leg."
"Yeah, but the way you said it made it seemed like he broke his neck. Especially when saying there was blood everywhere, when in reality it was only the red juice you dropped." Jungkook interjects with raised eyebrows.
"I was in panic and they both look very similar in the practice room's lighting okay?!" Hoseok snaps, the fear he once had quickly replaced with irritation.
Jungkook mockingly shrugs, feigning defeat. "Hey, I'm just stating facts here. But at least you're not a complete crybaby and drama queen who makes everything seem worse than what they are...oh wait."
Hoseok could only stare at the maknae before suddenly lunging towards him, only to end up being constrained by Yoongi and Jin.
"Man this bastard's been on a roll today...first me, now Hoseok. Someone needs to teach him as a lesson." Jin bitterly mumbles as he continues to keep the seething Sunshine from beating Jungkook.
"I'll do it! Just let me go, I promise it won't be that damaging. Maybe a little bruise here or there but that's nothing makeup can't fix." Hoseok pleads upon hearing Jin causing Jungkook's eyes to slightly widen at the threat.
"D-don't let him go!" The once smug male nearly cries, having already experienced how painful the third eldest of the group's hits are.
Jin looks at the shivering maknae with a smirk. "I don't know, it might be good to put you back in your place...should we let him go Yoongi?"
Yoongi shrugs, acting along with Jin as he too found Jungkook's behavior wrong. "Sure, it'll do him some good."
The two began to ominously loosen their grip on the vengeful dancer while Jungkook, on the other hand, starts to panic more.
"ENOUGH!" Namjoon's voice slices through the chaos, making everyone stop. "Jungkook, you know that's not how we treat one another, especially those older. You need to apologize."
"I-I'm sorry Jin...I'm sorry Hoseok. I know I've been raised not to act such a way towards you two. Must've gotten too comfortable." Jungkook softly voices out with his deepest sincerities.
"It's okay, I forgive you. Just don't do it anymore, I find it very hurtful when you do things like that." Jin states as a now calmed Hoseok nods his head in agreement.
Namjoon nods his head over the now mended problem. "Now that one of the situations is solved...Hoseok" the sound of his name being called out caused the male's body to stiffen.
"Y-yes Namjoon?" He cautiously questions already knowing a scolding is about to happen.
"Please wait until they inform you of the situation before you go and call what happened next time. We can't keep doing things like this okay?" Namjoon gently says, desperately wanting to go back home and rest at the moment.
A sigh of relief leaves the older of the two, happy that nothing worse came as he nods his head.
"Good now—"
Namjoon pauses mid-sentence at the sudden knock of the door, opening it to reveal Dr. Choi and the pretty nurse from earlier.
"Apologies for the intrusion. It's time for Mr. Park's vitals check. Please, feel free to wait over there," she suggests, soft yet authoritative as she dons her gloves.
Not wanting a repeat of before, the group obeys and relocate to the chairs, gazes remain fixed on the nurse and her captivating presence.
Noticing their intense entrancement, Hoseok lets out a snort.
"Gonna take a guess you all got the honor of meeting Miss Nurse there. Maybe ease up on the gazing, yeah? She's not an exhibit," he teasingly chides, sparking a wave of sheepish glances among the others.
"I-I can't help it! It's...she's just so..." Taehyung trails off, gaze lingering as he release a dreamy sigh.
"I know, I was a stuttering mess when I got here," Hoseok confesses, cheeks tinted with a rare flush as he remembers the way she giggled when he was making a fool of himself.
"Yup," Jungkook speaks up, tone heavy with envy, "Too bad she's got a boyfriend—fiancé, actually."
Hoseok chokes on his spit in surprise. "She's engaged?!"
Question answered by solemn head nods, his once bashful demeanor morphs into one of downhearted.
"Man...that's a total bummer. I was really hoping she was single. Well, maybe we can be friends if her fiancé isn't the jealous type." Hoseok muses out loud a small smile that quickly turns into a frown once he saw the others' faces.
"Really?! You've got to be kidding me! Dammit...can't meet anyone nice without being already spoken for or getting tangled up in dating rumors."
The disappointed dancer huffs, shifting his gaze causing a smile to appear. "At least Jimin's having a good time." Following where he was gesturing to, they all collectively look towards the said male.
"Look at him! Using his injury as a boost just to get closer...this is so unfair." Jungkook kisses his teeth, forced to watch idol cutely flirt—even going as far as holding her hand due to being afraid of needles, which the woman giggled at in fondness.
"Hey, remember when ____ begged us to ask the company to make a fake doctor's note about her leg being broken so she won't have to participate in that dance fitness class?" Jin lightly mumbles out trying to bring up the others sour moods.
And thankfully it did.
"Yeah, I remember! She was so pissed when the university she attended made it a mandatory course. Literally threatened us that she'll break her leg on purpose when we refused to do it."
"Ha! She wouldn't dare. We all know how much she's afraid of getting hurt."
"It's funny how she decided to stay in the class all of a sudden huh?"
"And going out more for jogs? Yeah, I've been noticing that too. She needs to start taking a few breaks."
"Maybe she wanted to get thicc like me?" Taehyung casually says as he flutters his eyelashes causing the others to scoff.
After ten quick minutes of the group talking about random things while their injured bandmate try woo taken woman with his sly attempts, the checkup was finally over.
"Alright, so far vitals seem to be in check. I'll prescribe some painkillers for the sprain. Though because of the severity of the twist itself, he'll have to stay for the next two days in case it's something more other than a sp—"
Distant shouts and an emergency ambulance siren cut off the doctor as his pager goes off, mirrored by the nurse's tablet in hand.
A silent exchange passed between them, a prelude to the storm brewing beyond their immediate sight.
Swiftly taking a look at the noisy devices, the two exchange a look of wary realizing they were ringing for the same patient.
"Apologies, but we're needed urgently. The painkillers will have to wait," Dr. Choi's voice, once steady, now carried an undercurrent of haste as he disappeared through the door.
"I'll be back, perhaps in a few hours." Voice usually soothing, now carries a weight as she discards the medical gloves with a practiced motion before opening the door.
"Wait! What's happening?" Hoseok reaches out, concern etching his features.
The hesitation is clear in her eyes, the professional boundary wrestling with human need to share. "It's...not my place to say. Especially with surgery waiting. I'm sorry."
Before she could leave the room, Jin steps forward. "Please. We promise to keep it to ourselves, we won't tell a soul. Just...who is it?" He softly pleads.
The others murmur in agreement, just wanting to help console the family that's probably standing in the waiting room thinking the worst.
A heavy sigh escapes her, surrendering to their insistence.
"I...it's a student from Seoul's University of Performing Arts. We were told a severe head injury: traumatic blow to the head from falling against concrete during an outdoor dance warmups...there's significant blood loss. Now I'm sorry, but that's all I can say right now." Words, hurried and clipped, she disappears into the crowd of moving medical residents.
"No, wait!" Taehyung calls out as he and Namjoon try to pursue her, desperate for answers.
Looking around the hallway for the runaway nurse only to end up empty-handed in their search, Namjoon gestures back to the room with a rueful sigh. "C'mon...let's go back."
Slowly walking back in defeat heavy in their hearts, a flash of a familiar hoodie causes Taehyung to freeze.
"No, is that...?" His voice trails of in uncertainty as his eyes narrow just to be sure.
His breath hitches in surprise, eyes widening in shock and disbelief before striding over to the huddled person, drawing puzzled looks from Namjoon.
"Taehyung? Tae-what are you doing?!" The band leader calls out as he steps from the room's doorway, gaining the other members' attention and causing them to follow.
Jungkook reaches the vocalist and pulls him back, staring at him weirdly. But the idol doesn't care, he continues to stare at the back that faces them in a trance like state.
"Tae, what are you doing? Are you insane??" Jungkook hisses, sending a wary glance over to the person hunched up in the corner crying in worry of disturbing them.
"No, t-that hoodie looks familiar see?" Taehyung faintly whispers, not wanting to believe that what his mind is making up is true.
Jungkook takes a closer look at the piece of clothing before letting out a breath.
"Look, there's plenty of hoodies that are similar to yours! You're just stressed...you can take a nap when we get back to Jimin's room okay?" The maknae assures in hopes of coaxing the older to move.
And he does. Though hesitant with every step, his eyes never leave the figure's back.
"Come on Tae, we'll eat some Panda Express. It'll help you feel better once you have a full stomach." Jin coos, gently directing the tensed idol towards the direction of the room.
But as if a tug pulled at him, Taehyung takes a step back. He looks at the faces of the others as his final decision is made.
Namjoon's eyebrows furrow in confusion at the male's expression. "What? Taeh-wait!"
Namjoon's confusion turns to alarm at younger's apologetic look, knowing he's about to do. "Taehyung! W—"
Swiftly dodging the hand attempting to grab him, he quickly jogs back where he last saw the hoodie as the rest trails after.
The chorus of voices telling him to stop were ignored.
Walking up to the person, he turns the crying person around with a tug of their hood, revealing a head of very familiar hair.
"Tae—" Yoongi's harsh voice of irritation cuts off upon seeing a tear-streaked face he immediately recognized.
"Adora!" Taehyung breaths out in relief, vaguely recalling how it was the same hoodie he gave for her to borrow but was never returned.
"What's wrong?" Jungkook softly questions the girl as her legs gave out, tears starting to well.
With quick reflexes, Taehyung grabs a hold of her, slowly bringing the troubled woman over to the cushioned chairs against the wall.
"I-I...t-they" Adora's words are in jumbled stutters, body racked with sobs making it impossible to clearly speak.
"Adora? What are you doing here?" Namjoon cautiously probes when her cries finally calms down a little.
"[N-nickname]," she croaks out as the tears resurfaced once more.
Confused dread fills up in the minds of the men around her at the mention of you as she continues to cry out her pain.
Yoongi stills with a sinking heart, fragments of past conversations piecing together into a grim realization.
"...it's a student from Seoul's University of Performing Arts. We were told a severe head injury: traumatic blow to the head from falling against concrete during an outdoor dance warmups..."
"...funny how she decided to stay in the class all of a sudden huh?"
"...going out more for jogs? Yeah, I've been noticing that too....needs to start taking a few breaks."
With frantic movements, Yoongi desperately clasp Adora's trembling shoulders.
Eyes brimming with the onset of tears, his heart feeling as if squeezed by an iron grip of dread.
"Where is she? What happened to her?"
He's answered by sobs, louder and more pained than before.
"What the fuck happened to ____ Adora!" Yoongi's voice escalates, raw with anguish as he slowly shake to the floor with cries of his own.
While everyone else looks at the rapper alarmed, Taehyung's own tears spilling over as he draws Adora into a supportive embrace.
"She's...in critical condition. They..." Her words are fragile with despair, the weight of it nearly snapping the hearts of those who heard it
"...they say she might not wake up."
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