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#kim taehyung fanfiction
oddinary4bts · 1 year
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Crazy for You | kth
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☆summary:  you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?
☆pairing:  Kim Taehyung x female reader  
☆rating: 18+
☆genre:  best friend’s older brother to lovers, a little bit of fake dating trope, idol!au, angst, smut, fluff, snippets of life
☆warnings:  alcohol consumption, getting ghosted before the story takes place, lying/hiding the truth to a best friend for months, unclear relationship (and what comes with it aka reader feels cheated on (rightfully so?)), sort of miscommunication? but not really, cursing, mention of a grandparent passing away, a very awkward dinner with all the members and their own readers (no one is named, gets a little redundant? but since everyone is a reader, it had to be done), pregnancy (at the veryyyy end of the fic), explicit content: virgin and unexperienced!reader, dom!tae, praising, fingering, ass slapping, tits play, oral sex (female and male receiving), tied-up sex, whip (not really used in the fic), dirty talking?, protected and unprotected sex, jerking off, taehyung is lowkey a freak
☆word count: 46.8k
☆a/n: as per usual, thank you to the beautiful @moonleeai​ for beta-ing this fic for me. Your work is forever appreciated <3. Also, I really hope you will enjoy reading this. It took me a lot longer to write than my usual fics because I was burned out in December and I just couldn’t function properly but I’m really proud of the result nonetheless! Enjoy your reading <3
Read the other establishments in the Life Goes On series here!
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               There was a small house at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by trees and fields. When the sun set, it coated the house with golden light, making it stand at the end of the road like it was straight from a postal card. Bushes sprinkled with wildflowers stood on the two sides of the red door that was always left open. It led into a kitchen that had held laughter, tears and late-night conversations, along with home cooked food made with love.
You had grown up in that house next to your best friend Eunjin and her two brothers, Taehyung and Jeongyu, and your own brother. Though Taehyung had left when you were still young, moving to Seoul to pursue his training. It had led to you being a lot closer to Jeongyu even though you were mostly Eunjin’s friend. Your own brother had followed after Taehyung, always being closer to the older Kim sibling in the first place.
The house at the end of the road was pretty, with a cozy look to it that made you want to settle down after a long day of work. As your car pulled in the driveway, memories of your childhood came back to you, bringing a smile to your lips.
You remembered playing soccer with Eunjin, her siblings and your brother, and chasing after frogs on rainy days. You had come home covered in mud from the fields more than once, yet Eunjin’s parents had always been nice about it. Same as her grandmother had been, though the older lady had passed away a few years ago.
Your car slowed down as you neared the house until it came to a full stop. You took the keys out of the engine, gaze wandering on the different cars you could see.
Eunjin had organized a small get-together with close friends to celebrate her getting the job she had always dreamed about. Some of her family was also going to be there, cousins that you had seen many times before. All the cars you could recognize, except the gray one that was the nearest to the house. It had your brows furrow as you threw your car door open and stepped out.
You breathed in the fresh air of October, eyes shutting as you let yourself absorb the cool aura of the countryside. You hadn’t been here in years, ever since you had moved to Seoul, and you were glad to be back. So you took your time to breathe in the air and the atmosphere, letting it bring you back to days when you didn’t know what it was to be surrounded by concrete, only knowing fields and open air.
Your eyes eventually fluttered open, gaze moving to the front porch of the house. There was a figure standing there, a man you hadn’t expected to see.
Kim Taehyung was leaning against one of the pillars holding the small roof of the porch, a quaint knowing smile on his lips. You didn’t know how long he had been standing there, and you blushed as you took in the sight of him.
Taehyung was wearing a pair of brown dress pants along with a pale loose shirt that was tucked into the pants. He had rolled up his sleeves, revealing the tan skin of his forearms and the expensive watch on his wrist, and his hair was pushed back as if he had run his hands through it too many times.
You met his gaze in the distance, gulping as he seemingly looked you up and down once before his eyes locked with yours again.
“Y/n”, he greeted you.
“Taehyung”, you said back, eyes falling to a puddle in the dirt in front of you. You bowed, just a little, before glancing behind you at your duffel bag on the backseat.
Taehyung’s gaze followed you as you grabbed it before starting to walk towards him. There was something weird about the aura surrounding him and you weren’t quite sure if it was because you hadn’t seen him in almost six years or because the confident smile on his lips intimidated you.
Maybe it was a little bit of both.
You met his gaze again as you stopped in front of him, offering him a tight-lipped smile. “I didn’t know you were going to be here”, you admitted and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Eunjin made me stop here on the way back from Busan”, Taehyung explained. “After the concert.”
You had heard about that concert. A free concert that had rocked the whole world for a time. It was strange to think that Taehyung was so famous, especially as he stood in front of you, with that same childish glint in his eyes that he had when he was younger. It was stranger to think that you were friends with his sister and that your life somehow was intertwined with Taehyung’s.
“Oh”, you let out. Your eyes slid to the door, right as it opened to reveal your best friend.
“Y/n!” Eunjin squealed as she ran out, wrapping her arms around your neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”
You chuckled, hugging her with one arm. “We were together a week ago”, you reminded her.
She tutted as she pulled away, grabbing your duffel bag from you and handing it to her brother. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and bring that inside, asshole?”
Taehyung rolled his eyes at his sister, before meeting your gaze. “I’ll do it for you, not for her.” He offered his sister a glare and then winked as he met your eyes over her head.
It left you with a dumbfounded look on your face as Taehyung disappeared inside. Eunjin’s brows knit together, and she turned towards you. “What the fuck was that?”
You were as confused as she was, so you simply shrugged your shoulders before motioning to the inside of the house. “Should we go in?”
Eunjin didn’t seem like she wanted to let it go, yet she didn’t mention it again as she pulled you in behind her. “Everyone’s already arrived.”
Indeed, as soon as you walked in you were greeted by a crowd of friends, along with the family members Eunjin had mentioned would be there. They greeted you warmly, but your eyes diverged to the stairs as Taehyung walked down them. He pushed his hair back, his gaze meeting yours for a few seconds. He offered you a tight-lipped smile as he raised his eyebrows, but Eunjin pulled you away before you could reply.
All it did was bring a light blush to your cheeks, one you did your best to ignore as Eunjin handed you a bottle of beer.
“Drink up, you’ve got some catching up to do”, she told you.
You let out a small laugh. “I don’t drink beer.”
Eunjin rolled her eyes, fists resting against her hips. “You will today.” She glanced at a spot over your shoulder. “I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”
Her words were immediately punctuated by cheers, and you turned your head towards the sound to see some of your friends cheering one of Eunjin’s family members as he chugged a beer. Your eyes widened, and you resumed your attention on your friend.
“What is going on here?” you asked.
You had never done parties like that. Had never really been allowed to do parties like that. It surprised you that Eunjin’s parents were letting it happen under their roof, yet Eunjin just brushed it off with a shrug of her shoulders.
“My parents told me that as long as we don’t break anything I can throw a party like in the movies.”
You looked at her pointedly. “Don’t people always break stuff at parties like in the movies?”
Eunjin laughed heartily, shaking her head. “Not under oppa’s careful attention.” You followed her line of gaze to see Taehyung punching his cousin in the shoulder before leaning in to say something in the young man’s ear. His enthusiasm seemed to deflate for a time, until Taehyung offered him a winning smile that had the happiness bleed back into the young man’s features. “He’s telling everyone to stop when they get too intense.”
It was unlike Taehyung, or rather unlike the Taehyung you had known years ago. Taehyung had always been the first one to want to have fun, to pull pranks on his siblings or to tease everyone and everything around him. There was still that same mischievous glint in his eyes today, but as the oldest he seemed to take his responsibilities seriously.
You wondered what his parents had told him to make him behave like that.
“Good thing he’s here then”, you said, before taking a swig of your beer.
You winced at the taste and the bitterness it left behind and Eunjin laughed at your expression. “Oh come on, it’s just a little beer.”
“Drink it then”, you said, pushing the beer towards her.
She shook her head and before she could speak, her younger brother threw an arm around her shoulder.
“Y/n!” Jeongyu greeted you. He had a large grin on his face, one that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I’ve missed you.”
“And yet you choose to hug your sister?” you teased him. “Come here.”
Jeongyu laughed, a little drunkenly, before stumbling into your open arms. He hugged you firmly, lifting you off the ground. You let out a yelp and your eyes met Taehyung’s as he moved closer.
You couldn’t quite read his expression, but he seemed surprised. As if he hadn’t really seen you before.
“What’s gotten into you?” Taehyung asked. For a moment, you thought he was addressing you as his eyes still held your gaze, but he tapped his brother’s shoulder.
Jeongyu immediately put you down, before offering a small pout to Taehyung. “Just happy to see Y/n, hyung.”
Taehyung arched an eyebrow prettily. “No need to crush her like that.”
“It’s fine”, you reassured the man as Jeongyu let you go. You met his gaze, offering him a bright smile. “I’ve missed you too, Jeongyu.”
A crooked grin appeared on the younger man’s lips. “How has Seoul been, nuna?”
The three siblings put their full attention on you. Usually, when it was just Eunjin and Jeongyu, you found it easy to talk to them. But right now, under Taehyung’s attentive gaze, you found you didn’t really know what to say.
“Uh”, you let out. “It’s been good.”
“Do you still work at the same office?” Taehyung asked. He furrowed his brows slightly. “What was it again?”
“Yes, I still work at the same place”, you answered. You chuckled, and a slight blush moved on your cheeks. “Still work for Samsung.”
Taehyung pursed his lips. “I don’t know how I managed to forget that.”
“Maybe because you haven’t seen her in years”, Eunjin pointed out.
Your best friend’s words ended the conversation, and you looked down at the floor as you took a sip of the beer. The liquid was as disgusting as it had been a moment ago, but it kept you occupied for a time, as the siblings started bickering.
If one thing hadn’t changed between the three of them, it was their constant bickering. Taehyung looked a lot younger then, and you found it easier to hold his gaze. The blush stubbornly remained on your cheeks, but you had always been the type to blush easily. Especially when alcohol was involved.
And Kim Taehyung, apparently.
Soon enough, the group of you moved to join the rest of the people attending Eunjin’s celebration. You found yourself sitting together with the friends you had gone to high school with, while Taehyung and Jeongyu moved to stand with their family members. Eunjin kept going from one crowd to another, ever so the social butterfly, accepting the congratulations people were offering her without even batting an eyelash.
Every now and then, your gaze slid towards Taehyung. You caught the older man looking at you on more than one occasion, and each time he offered you one of his tight-lipped smiles. The times when he wasn’t looking brought you back to when you were younger. To when you were fourteen and crushing on your best friend’s older brother.
You hadn’t thought that that crush still existed until butterflies swam in your belly at the sight of Taehyung’s boxy smile as he laughed at someone’s joke.
You looked away then, figuring it was better to ignore Taehyung. And it was, as you were surrounded by a crowd of your friends, and everyone of them were buzzing with energy. Jests were exchanged between the group, inside jokes you hadn’t thought you remembered as you all reminisced about high school.
The party kept going on for longer than you thought, even though most people weren’t sleeping over. You found yourself drinking more than you had expected, as you realized that beer didn’t taste so bad after your third bottle. It had your mind swirling in the sweet ecstasy of alcohol, and your initial repulsion to the idea of drinking disappeared into thin air.
If you were to party, you’d party grandly until dawn would inch to the horizon, tainting the sky in bright colors. And you did just that, joining Eunjin in a couple of alcohol games. It was fun with her cheering you on, and you won more than half of them, beating most of your friends. Your successful streak ended when you played against Taehyung and Jeongyu, though Jeongyu didn’t contribute to the game a lot. Indeed, Taehyung told him to sit down on the couch, as the younger man was far too drunk to even stand straight. It made you laugh, and you stumbled a little, taking an unexpected step towards Taehyung.
Taehyung caught your elbow and you looked up to meet his gaze. He had a stern expression on his face as if he disapproved of you drinking. You furrowed your eyebrows, before shrugging off his grip on your arm.
“Is something wrong?” you asked.
He seemed surprised by the outburst, and his eyebrows shot towards his hairline. “Ah, no, everything is okay.”
There was an awkward silence between the two of you, and you only then realized that Eunjin had been pulled away by one of her cousins.
Taehyung had pretty eyes. A dark gaze, one that you felt as if you were falling in as you looked at him. It had your mind turning dizzy, which wasn’t quite a great mix with the amount of alcohol you had ingested. Taehyung must have noticed your face paling because he grabbed your hand ever so gently, before pulling you behind him.
“What are you doing?” you asked, even though you offered him no resistance whatsoever.
He glanced at you over his shoulder, a strand of dark hair falling in his eyes. “You look like you need some fresh air.”
You knew he was right, but something about him making the decision for you felt wrong.
“I can be the judge of that”, you said, planting your heels in the ground.
Taehyung didn’t stop, though he offered you a small laugh. That laugh did things to your mind that you couldn’t quite explain, though it made you stumble forward. You fell against Taehyung’s back, face digging in the soft fabric of his shirt.
You inhaled a whiff of his cologne as you tried to regain your footing, and when you finally were able to stand by yourself, you realized your hand had wrapped around one of his biceps. Your other fingers were still prisoners of his hand and you blushed before letting your hand fall to your side.
“Sorry.”
Your apology was uttered barely above a whisper, but you were standing so close you knew he had heard it. Or maybe you knew because his grip on your fingers tightened, his thumb brushing the back of your hand.
“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Let’s just get some fresh air for you.”
This time, you obeyed, not feeling like making a fool out of yourself again. Your lips instinctively formed a pout, but you followed Taehyung across the living room, up until you reached the front door. He glanced over his shoulder and you tried to meet his gaze but he was looking over your shoulder. You followed his line of sight, though found yourself unable to figure out what he had been looking at before he pulled you out, shutting the door gently behind him.
The world outside was dark. Fresh, and it smelled of humidity and soil, and all the smells autumn holds. Taehyung had let your hand go as soon as you were outside and you took a step forward, moving away from the light of the porch as your eyes instinctively looked up to the sky and the endless blanket of stars. The moon was hidden somewhere and all you could see were all the little imprints of light up there, promises of worlds unexplored by humanity. Worlds that had maybe died a long time ago, yet their existence was just now reaching Earth.
You wondered if there was someone out there, looking out at their own stars and seeing the Sun. It was a strange thought to have for your drunk mind, yet it strangely sobered you up as you felt small.
“Do you think we’re alone in the universe?” you asked.
You glanced back at Taehyung. He was still standing next to the door, hands in his pockets, and he had a bewildered expression on his face. Eyes slightly widened and mouth hanging open, as if he was about to say something. Yet he remained silent and the way his eyes met yours felt intimate somehow. Like you indeed were alone in the universe, the last bastion of humanity, and Taehyung was taking the sight in.
It felt strange to be looked at like that when no man had ever looked at you for more than a few seconds.
“Sometimes I think we are”, Taehyung finally replied. He took a few steps towards you before craning his neck to look up at the stars. It had you resume your attention on the night sky, right as Taehyung spoke again. “But then I think the world is never-ending, and new stars are born every day and I realize the odds that we’re the only place that life happened are way too slim.”
You remained silent, taking his words in. They were weird in your dizzy state, though you did feel more sober now that you were outside. Now that you were alone with Taehyung and not stuck inside a too-warm house. A house that you would always consider a home, but really you weren’t quite sure you were one for parties like the one Eunjin was throwing.
Or maybe you just had too much to drink.
“When you begin to think about it, what were the odds of life happening?” you mumbled, a little more to yourself. “Like, what were the odds that our ancestors would exist and then have babies up until our parents and like…” you trailed off, brows furrowed as you tried to make sense of the thoughts in your head. “Like what were the odds that we both would be standing here tonight, looking at the stars?”
Taehyung let out a laugh. A clear sound in the fall night, that warmed it up just a little bit. “Are you drunk or high?”
“I’m just saying, life is a series of coincidences”, you said. You glared at him, brows knitted together, only to find him already looking at you.
You could only see half of his face in the dim light coming in from the porch. The half you could see was soft, the visible eye filled with an emotion you couldn’t decipher. All you knew was that it made the eye sparkle a little, with a glint that put the stars to shame. The other half of his face was casted in shadows, yet it didn’t hide how handsome Taehyung was.  
And he really fucking was.
“Well, I’m happy this coincidence brought you here tonight”, Taehyung said.
You didn’t know what to say, only knew that you were weirdly attracted to him. Like a moth to a flame and you knew you were going to get burned. For some reason you couldn’t stop.
“I can’t believe it’s been like six years since we’ve seen each other”, you murmured.
Taehyung’s lips spread in the tiniest little smile. “I’ve been pretty busy.”
“I always thought we were friends”, you muttered, and your eyes moved away from his face, looking up at the sky once again. Maybe because you didn’t have the strength to look him in the eye while you were to speak your next words. “I was sad when you stopped replying to my texts.”
Taehyung tensed next to you. It made the night air a little colder, and you shivered as a heavy silence moved between you.
It was true. You had used to talk to Taehyung once in a while, encouraging him and congratulating him whenever BTS had won awards. You had acted with him like you acted with Jeongyu, treating him like someone you were close to… but then one day he had started replying with short messages instead of sentences, and then it had moved to emojis. And one day he had just stopped replying and you had been left wondering what you had done wrong.
For a long time you had thought he had known that you had been crushing on him. It had been over then, but you had always imagined it could explain why he just had stopped replying.
Eunjin had never known. No matter how close you were to her, you had never dared tell her that you had feelings for her brother, and you hadn’t mentioned that Taehyung had sort of ghosted you. If she had noticed she hadn’t said a thing.
“Life just got in the way, I guess”, Taehyung said. His voice was low, as if he too was aware of just how bad the excuse sounded. “I never meant to stop replying.”
You were pretty sure he had, but it was water under the bridge.
“Whatever, I don’t really care”, you joked, nudging him with your elbow. “At least I got to see your sorry face today.”
Your voice was strained, even to your ears. It felt awkward to be speaking to him like that and you wished you could take the words back.
“We were friends, if that can reassure you.” Taehyung ignored your last comment as he continued, “You were always like a little sister to me.”
The words didn’t sting like you had thought they would. Maybe because he had employed the past tense.
“Anyway.” You chuckled, granting him a glance. He was looking up at the sky, and you followed him, eyes moving to the many constellations that were lighting up the night. “How has this whole BTS thing been going? You are so big now.”
The atmosphere seemed to shift, falling back into a warmer state. “It’s been crazy. I still can’t believe I get to live this life.”
“I mean.” You paused, wetting your lips. ���You worked hard for it, you deserve it.”
There was another silence, and a soft breeze moved on your features, though its coldness had you shivering again. You hoped Taehyung didn’t notice, because you didn’t feel like going back inside just yet.
“Thank you”, Taehyung breathed. “It does get…” He chuckled, as if he hadn’t meant to speak.
“What?” you asked, and your eyes trailed to him.
“It gets lonely sometimes”, he finished, meeting your gaze. The raw truth behind his words almost had you stumbling back. “Especially now that we aren’t doing everything together anymore.”
You felt sorry for him, yet you didn’t have any words of reassurance to offer. You lived a far simpler life than his, with a small crowd of friends that you kept close to you. You didn’t feel lonely, though at times you did picture yourself having someone around, someone more. It was a strange thought to have, one that had never really crossed your mind before. You didn’t know if it was because you were getting older, and everyone around you had already lived through many relationships.
Then again it wasn’t like you had ever been interested in a relationship anyway.
“I’m sorry”, you apologized. You didn’t know what for.
He shrugged his shoulders, eyes trailing back to the sky. “Don’t be.” It was his turn to nudge you with an elbow. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”
He wasn’t wrong and you had nothing to answer to that.
“Do you have anybody in your life?” he asked after some time.
Confusion moved through you, and a crease appeared between your eyebrows. “I mean, I have Eunjin and my family. Even Jeongyu and the rest of them.”
He threw you a no-bullshit look. “You know I didn’t mean that.”
That… That? Was Taehyung asking you if you were dating anyone?
“What?” you let out. You flushed red, and if it wasn’t for the remnants of the alcohol in your system you probably wouldn’t have been able to speak. “Why do you want to know that?”
He laughed at your flustered state. “I’m just trying to make conversation.”
You squinted your eyes as you looked at him, a little suspiciously. It had him laughing this time, boxy smile on display.
You were pretty sure that smile could stop wars.
“No”, you breathed out. “I’ve never dated anyone.”
Maybe that was too much of a truth, yet it fell from your mouth with nothing to stop it. Taehyung looked surprised, and his brows moved up.
“Why?”
You shrugged your shoulders, looking away from him as a warm flush coursed through your upper body. “I don’t know. I’ve never really been interested in a relationship before.”
He pondered about it for a time. “You sound like it has changed.”
“I don’t really know.” You pursed your lips, before saying, “It just feels weird to be twenty-six and to haven’t even had my first kiss yet.”
You hated yourself. You hated yourself and your stupid mouth that never knew when to shut up. You hated yourself even more as your words met a stunned silence. You wanted to decipher the expression on his face, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him.
What a coward you were.
“There’s nothing wrong with that”, Taehyung said. He spoke carefully, as if he was afraid he’d speak the wrong words.
Oh.
“No I know.” You chuckled, wetting your lips before biting the bottom one in a nervous manner. “It’s just that I’d want to have done it all, just never had the opportunity.” You pursed your lips, furrowing your brows. “I mean, I had opportunities, just wasn’t interested until I realized I’m a little old for this.”
Taehyung chuckled beside you, a deep baritone sound that put a stop to the spiel of words falling from your mouth. “You’re not too old, Y/n.”
The way he said your name in that low voice of his… your mind went haywire.
“Everyone does it in their own time.” He turned until he was facing you, before grabbing your hand again, like he had been holding it when you had first come outside. “You’re freezing, we should get back inside.”
Only you weren’t ready to let the conversation go. “I’m fine.” You didn’t pull your hand away from his as you continued, “Do you think I’m attractive?”
From the way he was standing, more light was illuminating his features. So, you could see his jaw clenching as he held your gaze unblinkingly, eyes turning dark. “You’re drunk, Y/n, let’s get you to bed.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
He sighed, eyes dipping to your lips. “Yes, you are. Why would you think you aren’t?”
“You’re saying that just to make me happy.”
He chuckled, the sound a little bitter, entirely different from his previous small laughs. “I’m saying it because it is a fact.”
You took a step closer to him, angling your face up so he could gaze down at you.
Drunk you really was a menace to sober you, wasn’t she? Because you weren’t talking about kissing. You were talking about so much more, and you could tell Taehyung knew.
“Prove it”, you breathed.
His eyes widened again, but soon they were overcome by darkness, a cloud that covered the light you had seen there before. He wet his lips, looking at you, shaking his head slightly as if he didn’t believe you were real. He then leaned down to speak into your ear. “You just want to be touched, do you?”
Your blood started boiling in your veins at the feeling of his warm breath on the side of your face. “I want to know why people like sex that much.”
“I could show you.”
To have Kim Taehyung say that to you turned you into playdough. Playdough that he could mold into whatever shape he preferred and you didn’t even care. It was your teenager self’s fantasy after all.
And maybe you should have been worried, by his willingness to show you. Maybe you should have been ticked off by it, yet you still found yourself whispering, “Please show me, Tae.”
He didn’t move or say anything for a long time. So long that you found yourself pulling away, up until you could gaze at his features.
His eyes were closed but at the feeling of your gaze on him, his eyelids fluttered open. “You’re drunk”, he repeated his previous words. Yet the dark look hadn’t left his features, the low tone hadn’t left his voice. “Let’s see if you still feel the same tomorrow.”
There was a high chance that you’d just be embarrassed as all hell, yet you found yourself agreeing. Because really you wanted to die under the intensity of Taehyung’s gaze. No one had ever looked at you like that before, and you didn’t want him to look away. You were aware it was the alcohol singing in your blood, and it would all come crashing down when you’d wake up with a pounding headache the next day. Yet you found yourself agreeing.
Maybe because the devil had never looked as good as Taehyung did.
 *****
                 Light poured through the window next to which you were sleeping, encasing you in a prison of warmth and brightness that made you wake up feeling dehydrated. Your blood was pumping in your ears and your whole body felt as if it was burning. You cracked an eye open, wincing as the sun blinded you. You put a hand on your face, letting out a small whimper, before sitting up on the mattress, face turning away from the window.
You only then opened your eyes again, freezing when you noticed where you were.
Taehyung’s bedroom. You were sleeping in Taehyung’s bedroom. You looked around, eyes skimming over the familiar furniture, heart beating out of your chest. It made you dizzy again, as you tried to remember what happened last night.
You didn’t remember a lot, after that conversation you had with him outside. But what you remembered of the conversation had you wanting to throw yourself off a cliff. You had flirted with Taehyung. He had flirted back, had told you he could show you…
Just the thought of it had you letting out a small curse, and your head fell into your hands. What had you done?
“Good morning”, Jeongyu said from the doorframe.
You startled, looking between your fingers. He had a shit-eating grin on his face. “What?” you let out.
He chuckled. “Why are you wearing Taehyung’s t-shirt?”
You glanced down at your chest and sure enough, you were clad in a white Celine t-shirt, one you knew fully well belonged to Taehyung.
“Aish, what is going on?” you mumbled, hands falling in your lap.
“Don’t worry, hyung slept on the couch downstairs. You were pretty wasted last night.”
Blood rushed to your cheeks. “Did I do anything weird?”
“Not particularly”, Jeongyu said, shrugging his shoulders. “I was pretty wasted myself. Honestly, only Taehyung was sober.”
Taehyung was sober and still had told you what he had? What hell had you stepped into?
“Why are you guys so loud?” Eunjin grumbled. She came into view, her hair a mess as she let out a yawn. It took her a moment to register that you were currently sitting in her brother’s bed, wearing one of his shirts. When she did focus on the scene, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “What the fuck?”
Jeongyu punched her in the shoulder. “You’re lucky appa didn’t hear you say that.”
There were so many questions in Eunjin’s eyes it had you chuckling awkwardly.
“I don’t know”, you said, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know anything.”
“Bitch, you better have some explanation”, Eunjin replied and she walked in, making her way to you. She put her fists against her hips, and you let out another laugh as she stopped in front of you.
“Ayt, I’m out”, Jeongyu said before disappearing.
“Did you sleep with my brother?” Eunjin asked.
You winced at the sound of her voice, eyes shutting. “Why are you speaking so loud?”
She huffed, stomping on the ground. “Answer me, Y/n.”
You cracked an eye open, meeting your best friend’s gaze. “I don’t remember last night but I don’t think I did.”
“Where’s the fucker anyway?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “No idea.”
And really, Taehyung was nowhere to be found. Even when you and Eunjin finally made your way downstairs, Taehyung wasn’t there. A look out the window of the living room told you that his car wasn’t in the front yard anymore, and you tried to hide your disappointment as best as you could.
You hadn’t expected him to leave so soon after what he had told you that he could show you. Teach you even, about sex. It made your embarrassment ten times worse, especially as Eunjin kept pressing for questions. Questions you didn’t have answers to because, frankly, you hadn’t a clue as to how you had ended up in Taehyung’s room.
It was a confusing shitshow indeed.
It remained that way for two weeks, as you went back to Seoul and to your regular office life. Focusing on work helped to get your mind off of Taehyung’s words, and of the shame that choked you up whenever you thought about what you had said to him.
The worst part about it all was that Taehyung didn’t talk to you at all. Didn’t text you, didn’t call. Some part of you had expected him to, the foolish part of you that had been reminded of your crush on him. But no, Taehyung became a ghost in your life again, as if Eunjin’s party had never happened.
Eunjin, on the other hand, didn’t become a ghost at all. No, your best friend forced you to hang out far more than you usually did, as if she was still reeling from getting her new job. You didn’t blame her, it was her dream job after all. But it did get tiring, as you went out for drinks a couple of nights in a row, with people she knew and you didn’t. She always made sure that you felt included, but you had always been a little more on the introverted side.
Maybe that was why you found yourself deciding to leave early on the latest night out. You had been drinking soju with Eunjin and her new coworkers, playing drinking games that had your blood slowly fill with alcohol. The fresh air helped the dizziness that had taken over you and you walked in the night, content with your sudden loneliness. You watched the people around you, bowing your head politely, and soon enough you found a snack stand. You were ordering some tteokbokki for yourself when your phone rang in your purse.
You fumbled with the zipper of the purse, drunk fingers clumsy as they tried to hold on to it. It took you a moment but soon enough you fished your phone out of your purse, fingers holding onto it as if it was a treasure. The lady behind the little snack bar offered you a curious glance but you ignored her as you picked up the call right before it went to voicemail.
“Hi!” you let out happily, hiding your mouth behind your hand when you realized how loud you had spoken. There was silence on the other side of the line, apart from the sound of music. You furrowed your brows, assuming it was Eunjin. “Eunjin-ah, I’m on my way home.”
There was a chuckle. A man’s chuckle. A surprisingly deep chuckle. You looked at the screen of your phone, blinking a few times at the name you read. Taehyung. Why the fuck was Taehyung calling you now?
“Hi, Y/n”, he said.
You quickly put the phone against your ear again. “Why are you calling me?”
“I wanted to hear your voice”, he answered, his deep baritone voice sending shivers down your spine.
You scoffed. “You don’t talk to me for two weeks and then you tell me that?”
He didn’t reply for a long time, as if he felt guilty. You really hoped he did because he totally deserved it.
“I’ve been busy”, he replied. “But I’m hosting a party right now and it’s missing you.”
You barely heard his words as the snack lady offered you your tteokbokki. You thanked her before moving towards one of the empty wooden tables that stood next to the stand.
“What?” you said once you were sitting.
“Do you want to come over?” Taehyung asked.
You furrowed your brows, holding your phone with your shoulder as you opened the paper pack that held your chopsticks. “I’m eating.”
“Where are you?”
You looked around, startling when a car honked in the street. “At a snack bar next to Eunjin’s work.”
“I’ll come get you”, Taehyung said. He sounded determined, and it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?”
“Why do you want to come get me?” you asked, digging your chopsticks in the tteokbokki. It was rosé tteokbokki, and you couldn’t help the little content hum you let out as you ate.
“What was that?” Taehyung asked.
He sounded like he was moving away from the music and soon enough all you could hear was the sound of his breathing.
“My rosé tteokbokki is hitting good”, you replied. “Please don’t come, though.”
“I want to see you”, he said matter-of-factly. “I’m coming no matter what you say.”
You pouted. “You don’t even know where I am.”
“You’re at the tteokbokki stand near Eunjin’s work”, he pointed out. “That should be easy enough to find.”
You whined. “Please, Taehyung, I’m drunk, I don’t want to see you.”
“Well good thing the drive is going to take a while, you’ll have plenty of time to sober up.” He paused, and you could hear a car door opening and closing.
“I’ll be gone by the time you get here.”
You could almost hear him rolling his eyes on his side of the line. “Do you even live within walking distance from Eunjin’s work?”
Your stubborn silence was answer enough.
“See, just send me your location and I’ll drive you home”, he said.
You looked up at the sky, watching the moon behind the clouds. “You said something about a party, no?”
The sound of the engine coming to live covered your words, right as the call switched to his car’s Bluetooth.
“What did you say?”
You wet your lips. “You mentioned a party when I got my tteokbokki.”
“I’m hosting a party right now, but it doesn’t matter”, he replied.
“Can you even drive?”
He chuckled. “I have stopped drinking for a little over two months.”
So he had been sober at Eunjin’s party? You winced, hiding your face in your hand. “Gosh.”
“What?”
You shrugged. “Nothing.”
There was a long silence, as you focused on eating the tteokbokki. Anything to not think about how embarrassed you were. Taehyung didn’t hang up though, as if he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to bail on him. Truthfully, you didn’t really want to walk home alone, not now that Taehyung had reminded you of just how long the walk would have been.
“Can you share your location?” Taehyung asked after a few minutes of silence.
You bit your lower lip, pulling the phone away from your ear so you could do so. “Did you get it?” you asked as soon as you were done.
“Yeah.” There was a brief pause, and Taehyung let out a small chuckle. “Eunjin got you drunk and left you alone once again?”
Your brows knitted together. “What?”
“Like at her party”, he pointed out.
You winced, shaking your head. “I doubt this is like her party.” You ate some tteokbokki, appreciating the flavor before swallowing. “How did I even get to your bedroom?”
“I carried you to bed because you were starting to pass out on the couch”, he admitted. “You don’t remember?” There was a vulnerability in his words, as if he regretted his actions.
“No”, you let out. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
He remained silent, but you could imagine the smile that was playing on his lips.
“When should you be here?” you asked after a time.
“ETA should be fifteen minutes”, he answered. “You still have some tteokbokki left?”
You looked down at the almost empty bowl. “There won’t be when you arrive.”
He laughed. “That’s okay, I’m not hungry.”
You nodded, finishing your bowl as Taehyung focused on driving. You brought it back to the lady before sitting back at the table, eyes going up to the sky. It reminded you of when you had stargazed with Taehyung, and all the things you had told him.
“I’m sorry”, you apologized.
“About what?”
You shrugged. “For what I said at Eunjin’s party. I shouldn’t have told you all of that.”
“It’s okay”, Taehyung reassured you. “That’s why I kept my distance.”
His words rang in your ears for a time, and blush crept on your cheeks. “Oh.”
“But I figured two weeks was plenty enough”, he added, as if he had sensed your disappointment. “I missed being close to you.”
Your blush only deepened as you played with the hem of your shirt. “Have you?”
“Of course I did”, he said. “You’ve always been important to me.”
You pursed your lips, suppressing the smile that had wanted to form on your lips. “Then it’s a good thing you called me tonight.”
“It truly is.”
You shared another silence, one so long you almost thought Taehyung had fallen asleep on his side of the line. Hadn’t you known he was driving you might have hung up, but you wanted to stay with him.
That damn crush.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes”, Taehyung said. “Are you asleep?”
“No”, you replied, suppressing the yawn that you had almost let out. “I’m just chilling.”
“Good.” He paused, and you wondered what he was thinking. You wondered what had made him decide to come back into your life like that.
It was hard to know, as Taehyung had always been private about his life. Even when he was younger he had never really shared anything with you. Maybe that was just because you were his sister’s friend and not his, or maybe it was the age gap. Not that he was all that older, but three years could be a lot sometimes, especially growing up.
“I’m parking the car”, Taehyung told you. “Are you okay with walking to the corner of the street?”
You glanced at it, noticing the same SUV that had been at their parents’ house the day of Eunjin’s party. “Are you in the gray SUV?”
“Yeah.”
A rush of adrenaline coursed through your blood. “I can see you.”
He chuckled. “I think I see you too.”
A shy smile broke on your lips as you got up. “Don’t look at me walking, it’s just going to be awkward.”
“I don’t think anything can be awkward between us after what you said two weeks ago”, Taehyung teased. You could hear the smirk in his voice and it made you stop in your tracks.
“Taehyung!” you shrieked.
He laughed heartily, a laugh that had your insides feeling weirdly warm. “I’m just playing with you, come here.”
You obeyed, eyes focusing on the cracks in the cement. You were too afraid to catch Taehyung’s gaze if you looked up. “I’m going to hang up now”, you mumbled, and Taehyung let out another laugh that was cut off by the line going out.
You reached his car, walking around it to open the passenger door. Taehyung offered you a warm smile as you got in, one of his boxy smiles that used to make you go crazy when you were younger. After what he had just said, all you wanted was to punch his teeth in, but you instead chose to stare at a spot on the dash.
“Hey there”, he greeted you as if you hadn’t been talking over the phone for a while already.”
“Hey.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, where do you live?”
You blushed, glancing at him once. “Let me put it into your phone’s GPS.”
He nodded, offering you his phone. You quickly put the address in, before handing the device back to him. His long fingers closed around yours as he grabbed the phone, sending shivers right through your spine.
Taehyung had attractive hands. You had always been aware of it, but having his fingers on you, even though it was barely a touch… it made your insides go crazy.
“Damn, it’s a longer drive than I thought”, he said.
You nodded, playing with the hem of your shirt again. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have made it home by foot.” You met his gaze then, right as he turned his key in the ignition and the engine sparked to life again. “Thank you for coming to get me.”
“Anytime”, he said, and his features melted into a softness that made you look away once again. “I’m sorry Eunjin left you alone.”
“She did not!” you quickly said, a defensive tone taking over your voice. “She would never leave me alone.” You threw him a glance, only to notice he had an eyebrow cocked and he was holding in a smile. “What?” you let out.
He chuckled, eyes darting towards you before focusing on the road again. “Why are you so quick to defend her when it’s clear that that’s what happened?”
A small angry pout formed on your lips. “I chose to leave because I didn’t know her friends and it was awkward.” You folded your arms on your chest, looking outside the window. “I’m a grown woman, I can make my own decisions.”
“Like telling me that you are a virgin?”
Your eyes rounded in surprise as you turned towards him so quickly your neck almost hurt. “Taehyung, what the hell!”
He laughed heartily again, and the sound had your insides filling with butterflies. “I’m just teasing you.”
“Please don’t.”
You exchanged a quick look before his eyes slid to the road again. You hoped he hadn’t noticed your turning a scarlet red from his words, but you were pretty sure he had. For all his teasing and childishness, Taehyung was a very observant person.
“I’m sorry”, he apologized after a time.
You sighed, pursing your lips. “It’s okay.”
Silence engulfed you, and you looked outside at the lights of the city again, leaning against the car door to get a better view. You could feel Taehyung’s occasional glance on your profile, and you tried not to let it get to your head.
Tried and failed, as you realized you were currently sitting in his car. Just the two of you, far from the usual setting that your friendship consisted of back in Daegu. As if time hadn’t changed anything between you, except where the friendship took place. In the neon lights of the world outside, Taehyung looked as if he hadn’t changed at all, as if he was still the boy you had had a crush on.
Or maybe that was only because your crush had definitely come back now, playing with your mind as you tried to ignore him.
“Do you want to listen to any music?” he enquired, his deep voice sending a chill through your spine.
You hadn’t expected the question, and your eyes slid to his handsome profile. “Uh, what do you listen to?”
“Lots of different stuff”, he said, catching your gaze for half a second before looking away. “Mostly jazz though.”
A soft smile grew on your lips. “Right, you’ve always loved jazz.”
He chuckled. “How do you know that?”
You flushed pink, once again looking away. “You’ve made it pretty obvious.” You cleared your throat, trying to hide the embarrassment that was choking you. “Don’t you play the trumpet or something?”
“I do.” He ran a hand through his hair, the motion catching your attention. “I play many instruments.”
You knew. You had heard him play many of them in the past, and had even played with him when you were younger, when he was just your best friend’s older brother.
“Do you remember when we did a show for your parents and your grandmother?” you asked, as the memory came forth in your mind, overpowering your other thoughts.
You could still see the scene. You had been in the field behind their house, with Taehyung playing the saxophone while Eunjin played the violin. You had just been playing around with your flute, and Jeongyu had refused to participate saying it was going to be a horrendous show, your brother tagging along with him. They hadn’t been wrong, and the whole thing had ended in a fit of giggles the adults had shared with you all.
“You were the worst flutist”, Taehyung said, a soft smile moving on his lips at the memory. “It was cute.”
Blush found its way back to your cheeks. “You thought I was cute?”
“Of course.” He nodded, before glancing at you again. “You’ve always been cute.”
His words stopped your heart in your chest, and when it started again you were pretty sure the erratic beating was going to kill you. It rendered you speechless, and your hand instinctively shot towards the radio display screen of the SUV. You clicked on the music app, quickly putting music on to hide the awkwardness that had filled the air.
Taehyung didn’t say anything right away, but you knew he had noticed. He probably had heard the wild beats of your heart too.
“Don’t be shy”, he murmured in a low voice. He wet his lips, before continuing, “I’ve been thinking about you constantly since Eunjin’s party.”
Could he see your hands were shaking because of how shy you felt?
“Ah.” You gulped as you tried to swallow. “Have you?”
“It’s hard to think about something else when you asked me what you did.”
For a reason unknown, his words calmed the shaking of your hands, heat trickling inside of you until you felt far too hot for your own good. “Forget about it, you know, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“What if I want it?”
This couldn’t be happening. Kim Taehyung couldn’t say he wanted you. He was too far out of your league, made of stuff women all around the world dreamed about. Just because you had known him before he was famous didn’t make you any different.
“Taehyung…” you trailed off, unable to find words to say. All you could do was stare at his profile, eyes falling to the lips he wet with a dart of his tongue.
“I know you drank tonight so not tonight, but I’d like to hang out with you, Y/n.” He glanced at you for a moment, long enough for you to see the intensity that had taken over his gaze. “If that’s something you would like.”
From the way heat was collecting at your core, you were pretty sure you couldn’t refuse the offer. “I’ve sobered up, by the way.”
You let your words hang in the silence that stretched between you, only interrupted by the soft jazz music that was playing over the car speakers.
“But we’re almost there”, he said, eyes sliding to you as his car slid to a halt at a stop sign.
There was courage in you. Courage you had never even thought you had, and you spoke the next words without an ounce of hesitation. “You could come up with me.”
He chuckled, as if in disbelief, looking away. “Ah, Y/n, you cannot do this to me.”
“You are the one that said you want to hang out with me.” You paused, heart beating wildly in your chest. “Prove it.”
“Are you sure you are not drunk anymore?” he asked.
“I was just a little tipsy”, you pointed out. “I never was drunk.”
He slowly nodded. “Right.” He ran a hand through his hair, before looking at the road again as the car started moving. “I’ll come up with you then.”
You nodded too, unable to find any words to say. All you knew was that you were going crazy inside, and that you weren’t even sure you’d make it up to your apartment. In truth, you were quite convinced you were going to have a heart attack right then and there.
You wet your lips, gulping as you swallowed trying to wet your throat that had turned dry. At the same time, knowing that Taehyung wanted to hang out with you… it made you warm inside. Made the butterflies feel safer, and the reciprocity of wanting to spend time with you made them realer. To think he’d step foot in your apartment… it filled you with an excitement you had never really known before, and all you knew was that you couldn’t wait for him to step in the private place that was yours. A place only your closest friends had ever been in before…
Yet there was a dangerous aura surrounding Taehyung. Something you hadn’t really seen before, an intensity to him that attracted you the way fire attracted a moth. It made your breathing a little shorter, and the beating of your heart a little faster.
What had you gotten yourself into?
*****
                 Your apartment felt small, now that Taehyung was standing in the middle of it. And really, it was a small place. A loft, with your bed in one corner atop a small flight of stairs, and a couch in the space between the kitchen and the so-called bedroom. There was a clock on the wall above the couch, and a TV on the wall facing it, though you never really watched TV all that much. Most of the time when you were at home was spent chilling on your laptop, watching k-dramas online or videos on Youtube.  
The plant your mom had gifted you when you had moved to Seoul proudly stood under the TV, next to a TV cabinet on top of which pictures of you and Eunjin smiled back at you. There were pictures of your family too, and you knew that one of them held a very young Taehyung, along with Eunjin and Jeongyu. Taehyung hadn’t noticed it yet, but you knew it would only be a matter of time.
“Welcome to my humble abode”, you said as you motioned to the space surrounding you, trying to ease the nerves that were threatening to overcome your senses.
Taehyung flashed a grin at you, one that had your insides going molten. “It’s pretty cosy, I like it.”
His words made you redden, and your eyes fell to the carpet in front of the couch. It was a plush light gray carpet, on which you lay whenever things got too intense at work and you needed a break from life. You could almost imagine the shape of you in the carpet from the last time you laid there, and you focused on it as Taehyung’s heavy gaze moved on your profile.
“Thank you”, you breathed before looking at him. “It’s clearly not as fancy as where you live but it’s what I can afford.”
He chuckled. “Who says I live somewhere fancy?”
You threw him a no-bullshit look, folding your arms on your chest as a reply.
“Okay, I might live somewhere fancy”, he said, raising his hands in defense. “No need to glare at me like that.”
You flushed red again. “I didn’t mean…”
“Y/n, you’re fine”, Taehyung reassured you. “I’m only teasing you.” He flashed another one of his boxy smiles, and you couldn’t help but smile at him too.
“Do you want something to drink?” you asked, moving towards the refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen space. “I don’t have much but I think I have banana milk.”
“Are you Jungkook-ie?” he asked, taking you by surprise.
“What?”
He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s just that Jungkook always drinks that.”
“I don’t blame him, it is so good.” A small excited smile took over your lips as you grabbed the milk from the fridge. “It’s heaven in a bottle.”
“People usually say that about alcohol”, Taehyung pointed out.
“That’s because they’ve never had banana milk.”
He laughed again, and it made your apartment seem warmer than it usually was. It made you feel warmer too, and you met Taehyung’s gaze.
He was beautiful. Incredibly so. The kind of man you were convinced women wrote books about. A man with a softness to him, a vulnerability to him that had always made him attractive to you. No matter who he was now, Taehyung had been the center of your gravity when you were younger, even though you had tried to play it cool. Years of not talking had not changed that, and you found yourself gravitating back towards him as you started drinking your banana milk.
“Can I have a taste of that?” he asked, voice falling to his baritone register.
Even his goddamn voice was attractive to you.
You took a long sip, letting the taste dance on your tongue before you handed the milk to him. His eyes met yours, and he looked at you as he drank, gaze never once faltering. It was intense, the way he looked at you, and you found you were too much of a coward to hold it. But when your eyes fell to his lips, you realized maybe you weren’t a coward all that much.
Because you desperately wanted to step closer to him and feel his lips against yours.
He handed you the banana milk back before sitting on the couch. You carefully watched him, eyes going down to his lap as he spread his thighs just a little.
Manspreading had never looked as good as when Kim Taehyung was doing it on your couch.
You moved closer to him, sitting with the top of your body angled towards him. He glanced at you, a small smirk adorning his lips. It left you confused for a time, but then again you were fully aware of what he might be thinking.
Hell, you had all but told him you wanted to sleep with him a few weeks ago. And had reiterated it in his car a little under an hour ago.
“How’s work been going?” he asked, taking the conversation on an unexpected curve.
You were glad for it though, because you had no idea how to approach the other subject, the elephant in the room. “It’s been busy, but I’ve had busier weeks”, you admitted. “I imagine it’s not as busy as you.”
“I’m pretty sure working for Samsung can get busy.” He raised his eyebrows, offering you a tight-lipped smile as you were about to deny it. “Don’t lie to me, I know you too well.”
You didn’t know your body could tingle from someone’s word. “Do you?”
A lazy smirk grew on his lips, and your eyes fell to it. “Oh, I do. After all this time, I still do.”
You had no idea how to interpret it, but it did make you feel hot again, like he had made you feel in the car. It was strange to think that it came naturally to Taehyung – making you feel like that. As if he knew the ins and outs of your brain even better than you did.
And maybe he did.
“How is this going to work?” you asked, a little awkwardly as you motioned between the two of you with the hand holding the banana milk.
Avoiding the elephant in the room was pointless after all. You busied yourself with a sip of banana milk as Taehyung’s face fell serious, looking away from you as he seemed to think.
“What do you want to know?” he asked after a time, his words echoing the conversation you had had under a blanket of stars in Daegu.
“Everything”, you replied, throat going dry once again.
He wet his lips, eyes dipping to yours. “You’ve never done anything at all, right?”
As embarrassing as it was, you nodded your head.
“Then I can’t do everything yet, can I?”
You gulped, slightly shaking your head.
“Use your words, Y/n.” The low voice he had used to utter your name made your blood boil in your veins.
“Why can’t you?” you asked, voice small.
“You deserve someone that takes their time with you”, he breathed.
You wondered if he could hear your heart beating out of your chest. “Someone?”
“It’s a good thing I’m the kind of man that likes to take his time”, he continued, not really answering your question. Your teeth instinctively dug in your bottom lip, and you froze as he reached up, thumb releasing your lip. “Don’t do that.”
You slowly nodded.
“Why don’t you finish your milk so we can get started, mmh?” he said, his low baritone voice engulfing you in its warmth as his hand slowly fell to his lap.
You gulped once again, eyes falling down to the forgotten plastic bottle in your hand. You looked at it as if it was foreign, before taking a small sip. Taehyung carefully watched you as you did so, intense gaze observing your features in a way that made you feel seen, like you had never been before.
As if no one had really seen you until Kim Taehyung had been gazing at you.
“I can always finish it later”, you muttered, before putting it down on the floor next to the couch. You sat back, angling your body towards him even more.
“Look at you, so eager to learn”, he said, smirking again. “No wonder you told me what you did that night.” He wet his lips and you found yourself unable to look away from his mouth.
“Gosh, Tae, do you speak to all women like that?”
He offered you a secretive smile, hand moving up between you until his thumb was pulling your lower lip away from the teeth you had unknowingly sunk into it. “Only to the pretty ones.”
Your breath caught in your throat, though you weren’t sure if it was because of his words or because he slowly leaned towards you. Anxiety moved through you, and you widened your gaze as his eyelids fell shut, right before he gently pressed his lips against yours.
You froze, unmoving, not knowing what to do as the plumpness of his mouth met your lips. Taehyung let out a small chuckle as he pulled away, eyes opening to meet your gaze. “Close your eyes, Y/n”, he breathed, caressing your bottom lip with his thumb again. “Just follow my lead.”
You nodded, and your eyelids fluttered shut as he kissed you again, ever so softly. Lips establishing a slow rhythm, one you found easier to follow after the first few seconds. Taehyung’s hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer, as he turned his head into the kiss, angling his mouth so it met yours in a more intimate embrace.
You sighed, blood rushing to your cheeks as your thoughts zeroed in on the fact that you were currently kissing your childhood crush. A man wanted by so many girls in the world it was hard to believe he had chosen to be with you right now, in this moment.
It almost made you pull away, but when Taehyung swiped his tongue against your lower lip, all thoughts exited your brain and your hand shot to his chest, resting flatly against it. You could feel the beats of his heart, a constant melody that seemed just a little too quick for it to be normal, contrary to the erratic beats of your own heart. You could feel every beat as it echoed in your ribcage, pumping blood to your whole body, and maybe a little more to the warmth between your legs.
Taehyung’s tongue tasted your lips again, and this time you parted them, allowing him entrance. You let out a small breathy sound as his tongue met yours, and you could feel his mouth stretching into a smirk as he continued kissing you, rhythm still ever so calm and soft. As if he didn’t want you to be scared or intimidated by the act of kissing him.
You were way beyond that now.
Taehyung tasted sweet. He tasted of strawberries and honey, and it reminded you of the farm. Of days of summers past, spent in his company and that of his siblings and your brother. It reminded you of sunrays and warm breezes, of leaves dancing in the wind and birds singing in the trees. Of laughter echoing in the house with the red door at the end of the dirt road, where you had grown into the person that you were today.
Taehyung was reassuring, in a nostalgic kind of way. And maybe that, most of all, was the reason why you felt so comfortable with him, so willing to give yourself away to him. You didn’t know if it was safe, if the Taehyung you were with right now was the same that you had known back then, but you found you couldn’t stop.
You found you didn’t want to stop kissing him. Not when the very act of it was intoxicating, liberating, as if you were a bird that had just learned how to soar up above in the clouds.
He brushed his thumb on your cheekbone, bringing you back to reality before gently pulling a stray strand of hair behind your ear. It made butterflies take flight in your stomach, right as you deepened the kiss, pushing your tongue in his mouth just like he had been doing to you a moment ago. Taehyung answered by sucking on it, ever so gently, before pulling away.
The absence of his lips against yours grounded you back into reality, but you kept your eyes closed, chasing the remnants of the kiss in your memory, letting his flavour linger just a little longer.
“You’re such a good girl already”, Taehyung murmured, and his words had a burning sensation take the place of the soft warmth in your core.
“Tae…” you breathed, opening your eyes.
You found him already looking at you, with a slightly widened gaze. As if you were a surprise, something he had never thought he’d see. And maybe you were.
“For someone that has never kissed before, you sure know how to do it”, he said, always a little tease, and his lips spread into a smile. Into a grin, even.
Your blush deepened, right as the corners of your mouth tugged upwards too. “I followed your lead.”
He smirked. “As I said, you’re already such a good girl.”
You chuckled, a small feminine sound you hadn’t expected to have in you. Taehyung echoed it by tilting his head to the side, watching you as if you were a curiosity.
“What now?”
Your question had his mouth parting, smirk disappearing. His eyes clouded with that same desire you had seen earlier, turning darker than they already were. And Taehyung had a dark gaze, a gaze so deep you knew you could get lost in it.
You wondered how many girls had gotten lost in him before. The thought was almost enough to shower your arousal away, yet it clung to you as Taehyung ran a hand along your arm, fingers barely even grazing your skin.
“You will have to be patient, Y/n”, Taehyung said, offering you a wicked smirk that had your insides turning gooey. “This was your first kiss, we shouldn’t jump into something more right away, mmh?”
You wanted to ask why not, but the sweetness that had taken over his voice at his last words stopped you from doing so. Because it was sweet, the way he spoke. As if you were worth all of his time, a show he wanted to appreciate in its full length instead of rushing to the end.
It was a dangerous way to feel. A treacherous one, and you could already feel the ground beneath you tilting, threatening to make you fall. You could only hope your feet wouldn’t give up underneath you, or else you’d slide down the slope.
“I’ve already waited my whole life”, you pointed out, your lust finally winning over your will to remain silent. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Taehyung’s mouth spread in a thin line, as if your words had threatened to make him fall into insanity. He tsked, slowly shaking his head in disbelief. “Then why don’t you take off your shirt?”
You paused for only a half beat before grabbing the hem of it, pulling it over your head. The discarded piece of clothing met the floor, falling softly. Like a feather would fall, a feather from one of the many pillow fights you had shared. It was as if time had slowed, and it really felt like it, as Taehyung’s gaze dropped to your chest, drinking in the sight of you.
“So beautiful”, he whispered, and one of his hands reached forward, palming your breasts over your bra. You stiffened a little, and he met your gaze again, hand pulling away, remaining close enough for you to feel its warmth still. “Is it okay if I touch you?”
You nodded, doing your best not to think more than needed.
He chuckled. “I want to hear you say it.”
“Please touch me”, you quickly said, voice hitching in your throat as Taehyung grabbed you with that big hand of his again, leaning forward to catch your lips in a passionate kiss. It didn’t take long for his other hand to grab onto your other breast, and he pinched your hardened nipples through the fabric.
You moaned. It was an unexpected sound, one that came from deep within your throat. It seemed to set Taehyung haywire, because he grunted into the kiss, biting at your bottom lip. It made you moan again, right as his hands reached to your back to unclasp your bra. He only pulled away once the piece of clothing met your shirt on the floor, eyes falling to your naked breasts for half a second before he moved down, licking at one of your nipples.
Your hand moved in his hair, digits slightly shaking as you grabbed a handful of it to pull him back into another kiss, one that had your teeth clashing together. It didn’t slow you down. Not even a little bit, as Taehyung played with your nipples again, rolling the hardened buds between his thumb and forefinger.
As foreign as the feeling was, it made you arch your back, moaning in his mouth again. He kept going at it for a time, until his lips left yours to move down your neck, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses along your jaw and down to your collarbone. He sucked on it, leaving a small purple bruise behind before going lower, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. You could feel every swipe of his tongue on the sensitive bud, and your eyes fell shut as you arched even more, pushing your breasts into his face as he massaged the free one with one of his hands.
His other hand hovered at your waist, holding you gently. As if he wanted to give you a chance to escape if you wanted to, but still needed to feel more of your skin against his careful digits. And you wanted to feel more of his, you wanted to feel all of his body pressed against all of yours.
A dangerous way to feel indeed.
“Tae…” you breathed again, pulling at his hair a little.
He looked up at you, lips glossed by his ministrations against your nipple, or maybe by the kiss you had previously shared. “Everything okay?”
“I want more.”
He smirked, that same wicked smirk that made you burn inside. “Be patient, Y/n.”
You let out a frustrated sigh, one that hitched in your throat as the hand that was hovering next to your waist moved between your legs, barely grazing your clothed pussy before resting on your inner thigh.
“I won’t have sex with you tonight”, Taehyung told you.
And though the revelation disappointed you, you slowly nodded your head. “That’s okay.”
“I didn’t bring any condoms”, Taehyung added. “Otherwise I’d fuck you all night long.”
His crude words made your eyes widen, right as you pressed your thighs together in the hopes of getting a little friction where you desperately needed it. “You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.
Taehyung offered you a toothy grin that inched far closer to endearment than lust. “I can and I will.”
You rolled your eyes, though they rolled to the back of your head as he pressed his hand against your core again.
“So receptive”, he praised you. “Why don’t you lay on your back?”
It was a command in a clever disguise. You were pretty sure no one could ever disobey Taehyung, not when he spoke with that deep baritone voice of his. You moved, lying down, legs going on each side of him. He looked down at you, hungrily, teeth slightly biting at his lower lip as he drank you in.
And he did drink you in, making you feel as if you were the finest bottle of wine he had ever tasted. The nectar of the gods, ambrosia making him salivate with the thought of tasting you. Of tasting more of you, all of you, until he knew every flavour of you.
“What do you think of when you touch yourself?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he ran a hand on your thigh.
Even though you were still wearing pants, the press of his fingers against you had arousal pooling at your core. Always more, your body responding to him in a way it had never responded to you.
You remained silent, half trying to think about a witty answer and half trying not to moan as he pressed a thumb on your clothed self, right on top of your clit. And he pressed hard, a shot of sensitivity running up your spine and making your legs tighten around him. He chuckled at your reaction, before releasing the pressure just enough for thoughts to start taking form in your head again.
And you didn’t know the answer to his question. Most of the time you just thought of romantic scenarios that you had seen in movies or read about in books taking the forefront of your fantasies. But as you looked up at Taehyung through half-lidded eyes, you knew your fantasies were going to change, to morph into the man between your legs.
“I don’t know”, you replied, breath itching in your throat as he pressed harder again.
“Should I give you stuff to think about?”
It was the low voice. The baritone timber of him. You’d let him tell you anything with that voice of his.
Blood rushed to your cheeks as he watched you pointedly, clearly expecting a reply.
“You already are”, you mumbled, and he offered you another wicked smile.
“Then let’s make this better, mmh?”
You would never refuse him making you feel better. So you nodded, arching your back a little as your hips instinctively grinded up into his hand. The dark gaze returned as he pushed you down, before bending forward to press a kiss on your jaw.
The proximity of his mouth to yours had your lips parting open, and a second later your mouths crashed, another passionate kiss searing the deal between you. Burning it into your flesh, turning you into his. Because the way Taehyung kissed you, the way he touched you… It made you feel as if you were his.
And maybe you had always been.
As he kissed you, Taehyung let his hand wander up to your waistband, fingers blindly searching for the button of your pants. Once that was freed, he slid his hand in, sighing in your mouth as you sucked on his bottom lip.
“Fuck, Y/n”, he said. “You’re dripping.”
The sound you let out was incoherent. Somewhere between a moan and a whine, and it disappeared into his mouth, swallowed by him as he kissed you again. And he kissed you for a while, his hand not moving from where he was touching you, above your panties, fingers pressed to your middle.
As if he wanted to feel your juice soaking your panties until they became uncomfortable.
“Do you want me to finger you?” he asked once he stopped kissing you, resting his forehead against yours.
The gesture was sweet even in the heated atmosphere, and a shy smile grew on your lips. “Please”, you murmured.
His hand left you and you almost whined at the loss of contact. You heard fabric rustling, and your eyelids fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt, hungry gaze waiting for yours. And when your gazes locked, Taehyung wet his lips with a dart of his tongue, mouth falling open before it slid into a smirk.
That smirk was going to be the death of you.
“It’s unfair that I’m still fully dressed when I’m about to take your pants off, no?” he teased, even going to the extent of winking at you as he shrugged off his shirt, sending it right to your own shirt on the ground.
As much as his face was attractive, your eyes fell to his body. And it was your turn to drink in the sight of him, to admire the perfect sculpted body displayed in front of you as if it was fine art. Beautiful art, crafted into the shape of the man between your legs.
Once Taehyung was bare-chested, he moved back to your pants, thumbs hooking in the hem as he sent you a questioning glance. You answered by cocking an eyebrow, not really knowing why uncertainty had slid into his gaze.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he enquired, voice gentle yet firm.
Asking for consent like that made Taehyung twice as attractive to you. You nodded your head, biting your lips. “Never been so sure about anything.”
You were bold tonight. Bold under the dark gaze of your best friend’s brother. Someone that had once been the source of all of your daydreams. Teenage you probably was screaming inside of you, somewhere in the corners of your heart where she still reigned. Yet you felt courageous in the vicinity of Kim Taehyung, as if him being attracted to you made you feel twice as powerful. And really, it did. You felt beautiful in his presence.
“That’s good”, Taehyung said, a cocky smirk once again gracing his lips as he started pulling your pants down.
You helped him get past the ass area, before lying back down on the couch. Your gaze remained lost in his as the pants moved all the way down your legs. And he moved slowly, taking his time, enjoying every shiver that shook through you whenever his fingers pressed into your skin a little harder.
Once the pants were off – the socks had come off with them – Taehyung settled himself between your legs again. His eyes hadn’t left yours yet, but you knew that he wanted to look. Knew that he was fighting the male instinct to gaze down at your core, and at the wetness that was pooling on your clothed pussy.
His large hands slowly moved to your thighs, settling right above your knees. They were hot against your skin, burning even, and they remained unmoving for a time. When you shivered again, Taehyung let out a deep chuckle that had you seeing stars. He knew what he was doing to you, and he was enjoying it. Far too much for your own good.
His hands started sliding up, ever so slowly, right as his gaze returned to the dark dangerous look. It was even darker now, and he almost looked like a demon sitting between your legs. Like a starved demon that’d finally get a taste of a virgin soul. And though you were a virgin, you were not innocent. You didn’t have to look between his legs to see his erection pressing against his pants. You knew Taehyung wanted you, from the harsh set of his jaw to the slight tilt of his head to the side.
His fingers tickled your skin as they moved up, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. You didn’t dare move lest he’d stop, so you froze. Stopped breathing altogether as you waited for his touch on the place you wanted him the most.
Yet it never came. Taehyung stopped before he reached your core. You could feel the ghost of his touch between your legs, maybe because his thumbs were almost reaching up to your folds. But not quite, stopping just an inch from your pussy.
And then his hands left you entirely, and you shot a glare at him.              
His face had turned serious, and he looked so different from how he usually looked you found your boldness fleeing from you.
“On your stomach”, he ordered. As you hesitated for a time, Taehyung cocked an eyebrow. “I want to see that perfect ass of yours.”
You flushed red, and if you hadn’t been as aroused as you were, you probably would have told him your ass was far from perfect. But you had no words left in you, only obedience. So you moved, awkwardly turning until your legs had switched places on each side of him.
Taehyung’s hands moved back on you then, grabbing your waist carefully as you looked at him over your shoulder.
“So fucking pretty”, he praised you, and the slap he landed on your ass had your body moving forward.
It stung, but Taehyung quickly massaged the hurt away. And then he kept massaging you, his big hands moving up until they found all the knots in your back, easing the tension out of you better than anything else could have.
Everywhere he touched you he left a burning trail behind, until you were pretty sure you were going to combust if he didn’t touch between your legs soon. It was like he had sensed it, because Taehyung moved back down your back, and one of his hands cupped an ass cheek while the other moved between your legs, skilled fingers immediately going to your clit.
You moaned, surprising even yourself, and you hid your face in the couch.
“Don’t muffle your sounds”, Taehyung reprimanded you, and he landed another slap to your ass. “I want to hear every little sound you make while I’m pleasuring you.”
Right on cue, his fingers moved on your clit again, and another moan found its way up your throat. You almost choked on it, yet the sound fell from your parted lips, and Taehyung slapped your ass again for good measure.
“Good girl.”
One of his long fingers moved up, between your legs. Touching your center, pressing on the wetness pooling there. Just enough for you to whine, hips moving instinctively again.
“Be patient”, he said, tutting. “I’ll give you everything you want.”
Your arousal was rising, inside of you. Reaching heights you had never seen before, and the sight of the world from up there was scary. You could only hope the fall wouldn’t be too harsh.
Taehyung kept pressing circles on your clit, playing with the sensitive organ. His touch wasn’t too hard, yet with your panties it felt uncomfortable. A little too much, and the friction of the wet fabric against you made you tighten your legs.
“Tae?” you breathed out. He stopped moving, expectantly silent waiting for you to continue. “Can you take off my panties?”
“You’re getting sensitive, mmh?”
You wanted to punch the male cockiness out of him but all you could do was nod your head as you glanced at him over your shoulder.
He was looking down at you with that half smile of his, and he wet his lips as one of his fingers hooked on the side of your panties, the pad of his digit resting on one of your folds. You gulped, trying to hold his gaze, but as he started slowly sliding a finger in, your eyelids fluttered shut, sealing together.
Suddenly, you couldn’t remember what you had just asked. You couldn’t remember anything, as your mind went blank. All that was left was the slow inching of his finger inside of you.
“You play with yourself like this?”
His question had you furrowing your brows. “Tae…”
“You’re so wet I could probably fuck you like that”, he said, sounding as if he was pondering. As if he was debating doing it and you almost wanted to beg him. To beg him to do it, and fuck you into oblivion. “But we can always do that later.”
As he talked his finger started pulling out, and he quickly pushed it back in before it had fully exited your pussy. You let out another breathy sound, though this time it took the shape of his name. He started pumping, slowly, and the squelching sound between your legs would have embarrassed you if you hadn’t already been too far gone to even acknowledge it.
Right when you thought you were going to be able to open your eyes and look at him, Taehyung pushed another one of his long digits inside of you. It stretched you, just a little, but it didn’t hurt. It just felt even better, all sensations doubling up inside of you until stars danced on the blackness of your tightly shut eyelids. He added scissoring motions to the whole ordeal, stretching you wide open as his hungry eyes looked at you. The way he moved made your panties rub on your clit again, and you let out a small whine.
Taehyung stopped moving, fingers knuckle deep inside of you, as he massaged your ass with his other hand. “Everything okay?”
“My panties”, you let out, unable to form a full sentence.
Yet it was enough for Taehyung to get the clue and his fingers pulled out of you as he grabbed the hem of your panties to take them off of you. You waited patiently for him to touch you again, eyes fluttering open as he struggled to pull your panties down your legs.
“Kinda hard in this position”, he muttered, and you blushed a little as you met his gaze.
He looked ethereal. Hair a little out of place with a dark strand falling in front of his eyes. His skin was glowing in a honey shade that gave him a warm vibe, that same warm vibe he had always been filled with back when you had been too young to know about sex and the likes.
And though you now knew, everything felt the same. Taehyung was always going to be his same self. Or so you hoped.
You moved, sitting up a little to help him take off your panties. It had your eyes slide to his lap, and to the prominent bulge that was pushing against his pants. He looked big, even hidden from your eyes, and you could feel your mouth salivating.
You wanted to get a taste of him. But you had no idea how to do it, no idea how to vocalize your want, so you only turned until you were lying on your back, half-lidded eyes searching Taehyung’s face for his own gaze.
But his gaze was elsewhere. His gaze was on the spot between your parted legs, where juice was slowly dripping. Your brain started forming a thought about your couch getting ruined, but before it could fully take shape Taehyung’s eyes snapped to yours.
“I think you’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.”
The compliment made you blush, and your thighs instinctively moved to close together. He tutted, stopping them with his large hands.
“None of that, I want to see all of you.”
“You already have”, you muttered, cheeks turning a dark shade of red.
He let out a small laugh as he massaged your thighs up and down a couple of times again. “Doesn’t mean that I got enough.”
A smile pulled at the corners of your lips, but before you could say something one of his hands had found its way to your core again, and he slid two fingers in. Your mouth fell open as your eyes locked with his. He pumped his fingers in a couple of times before arching them, finding a spot inside of you that had the corners of your vision turning blurry.
“I think I could make you cum like this”, he said.
All you could do was nod because, sure enough, an orgasm was on the horizon, and you could feel the wave crashing towards you. But Taehyung slowed, almost coming to a full stop, before sitting a little farther away. You watched him curiously, until he bent down, his face coming dangerously close to your heat.
He blew a hot breath on your sensitive clit, and a hot shiver shot up your spine. “Can I eat you out?”
You nodded, quickly. “Please…” you breathed out.
Taehyung didn’t need any more to dive in. And dive in he did, lips closing around your clit as he sucked it, tongue flicking at it. You moaned, loudly, and one of your hands got lost in his hair. His fingers resumed their ministrations against that sweet spot inside of you, right as he rested his tongue flatly against your clit, rubbing it until the wave rushed closer to you. You could feel the orgasm taking shape in your lower stomach, a burning sensation that promised to wash away what was left of your sanity. And you didn’t even know if anything was left: all you knew was that your walls were clenching against his fingers, and the grunt he let out pushed you over the edge.
You came in a blinding flash of white light, your lips parting open on a silent moan as you pushed your hips up, pressing yourself harder against his tongue. Your pussy pulsated against his fingers and yet he didn’t slow down. Just kept on pleasuring you, milking every last drop of your orgasm out of you until you were pretty sure you’d die from the oversensitivity. But you didn’t want him to stop, only wanted to feel his fingers inside of you and his tongue against your clit.
Taehyung had other things in mind though, because he pulled away, pressing a kiss on the inside of your thigh as he moved up to a kneeling position. You could barely focus on him. No, you were blinded by the aura surrounding him. An aura of ecstasy that made you want to wrap your legs around him, until you’d feel the bulge in his pants pressing against you.
He bit his lip, though he let you pull him closer. Even pushed forward, and your eyes shut as his erection pressed against your sensitive clit.
“Way to ruin my Prada pants”, he stated and that most of all brought you back down to reality.
You released him from the prison of your legs, slowly pushing yourself up so you could sit. But your arms gave out under you, the remnants of your orgasm making you feel far too weak for you to sit yet.
“Sorry”, you mumbled sheepishly.
He bent down, pressing a kiss on your lips that had your eyes shutting instinctively as you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close to you. You wondered if your hearts were beating in synch as the warm skin of his chest pressed against your breasts, and before you could tell Taehyung pulled away.
“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Where’s the bathroom?”
It took you a long time to understand why he was asking. And you only did when you realized he was holding his hand away from the fabric of your couch, not wanting to stain it.
“Oh”, you let out. You glanced to the side, until your eyes fell on a closed door. “Over there.”
Taehyung followed your line of gaze, nodding his head before getting up. “I’ll be right back.”
“I should probably get cleaned up too”, you said, and he offered you a warm smile.
“I’ll bring you back a towel.” It was said sweetly, and you couldn’t help the flutter that took over your heart as he turned around, exposing the skin of his back to your eyes.
You watched him go, and watched him wash his hands from the open door of the bathroom as he hadn’t shut it behind him. He threw you a glance, probably because he could feel your heavy gaze on the side of his face. He turned off the tap, cocking an eyebrow as he grabbed the towel you usually used to dry your hands. He walked back towards you, and his gait was predatory. Maybe because it was slow and he was goddamn Kim Taehyung, but mostly because his eyes still were set in that dark look.
You didn’t think you’d survive that look.
“Let me clean you up”, he said with that low voice of his as he stopped next to you, before sitting in the spot where he had been a moment ago.
As with everything that came with Taehyung, you didn’t find it in you to say no. You only winced when he pressed the towel between your legs, your overstimulated pussy feeling every tiny fiber of the cloth as he cleaned you up.
When he was done, he put the towel on the floor beside the couch. Your eyes followed his every move, and before you could realize it, you said, “I want to suck your dick”.
He paused as he was almost sitting back in his spot, and his head turned towards you.
“Do you?” he asked, as his two eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.
You had taken Kim Taehyung by surprise, hadn’t you?
“I want to make you feel good”, you said, and you had the decency to blush as you realized just how crude you were being.
He wet his lips, and one of his large hands palmed himself through his pants. “Do you think you could take it all?”
You looked down at his lap, eyes following the shape of his dick underneath the fabric. You actually didn’t know. He looked big, far bigger than what you thought was possible. Maybe because you had never really seen a dick before, not feeling like going to the trouble of downloading porn just so you could get off to it.
It wasn’t like you had really needed it to get off anyway. And with what had just happened, you didn’t think you’d ever need it.
“You can teach me how.” You said it innocently, teeth sinking into your lower lip.
Taehyung didn’t reply. He just stared at you until your eyes met his again. From the periphery of your vision, you saw him unbutton and unzip his pants. His hand slid in, probably wrapping against his dick. Most definitely jerking himself off, in all truth. It made your breath catch in your throat as you kept holding the intensity of his gaze.
He was going to make you catch fire soon.
“Had I known you’d be so greedy I’d have talked to you sooner”, he murmured, adding your name at the end in that low dangerous baritone of his voice.
You couldn’t resist. You closed the space between you, lips meeting his. You wondered if the salty taste that had overcome his mouth was from eating you out, and it just turned you on further. As if you weren’t already a wildfire.
You let one of your hands move until it was touching him. His dick was moving under the fabric as he jerked himself and you let out a moan as his tongue slipped in your mouth. He answered it by grunting, a guttural sound that had you see stars.
His hand moved out of his pants, moving up until he was cupping your cheek. You kept on palming him, and his dick twitched under your fingers.
“You’re so big”, you murmured against his lips.
He inhaled sharply, before pulling away from the kiss. “I want to see your pretty lips wrapped around me.”
He moved your hand so he could take off his pants. You couldn’t help looking down until your eyes caught sight of his dick. You were right: he was big. Big and angry red and leaking precum all over the head as his dick rested against his abdomen. A thick vein ran up and down his cock, and part of you thought you could see his pulse in it. You reached forward, fingers grazing the vein, following it until you moved to the head. You collected the precum on your forefinger, before looking Taehyung in the eyes as you sucked your finger clean.
Kim Taehyung tasted heavenly. Or maybe you were just drunk with lust.
Your little act had him rest his head against the couch, letting out a low curse that had you smirk.
“You’re so attractive”, he muttered as he looked at you through half-lidded eyes. You let your finger go as your lips spread in a smirk, before you moved off from the couch. Taehyung watched you as you kneeled in front of him. He spread his legs just a little to allow you easy access, and you caught sight of his balls. You wondered what it would feel like to suck on them and you instinctively leaned forward, licking between the two of them.
“Fuck.”
His small word had you let out a small chuckle. It made you feel sexy, powerful, and you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock.
“You’ll have to guide me”, you said.
He looked down, meeting your gaze as you pumped his dick slowly.
“First, you can grab it harder”, he told you. “I like when it’s tight.”
You shivered, obeying as your grip on his dick tightened. You licked your lips, waiting expectantly.
“You might want to suck on the head first. I don’t think I could stop myself from fucking your pretty mouth.”
“Then do it.”
It was too bold. You were too bold, a stranger to yourself. Maybe the demon inhabiting Taehyung’s eyes had inhabited you too, and it had made you go insane.
Taehyung hissed. “Let’s keep some stuff for another time, shall we?” He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering against your cheek. “I just want to feel your lips and tongue on me.”
You wondered if he could feel the heat of your cheeks as you flushed red. You doubted so, as you had been flushed red with ecstasy all night.
“I don’t know how to do it”, you breathed, sounding a little more like yourself for once.
He smiled. “Just lick at the head. Taste me.”
You held his gaze as you moved forward, tongue darting out to touch the head. You didn’t blink once as you swirled your tongue around him, collecting all the precum until the salty taste had coated all of your tongue. “Like that?” you said, a little innocently.
His shallow breathing was enough of an answer. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you did it again, this time following the base of the head. You found a spot at the back that felt a little different, and you pushed on it.
Taehyung grabbed the side of your head, before closing his hand on some of your hair. It pulled at your scalp, but not enough to hurt. It only made your eyes open.
“Do that again”, he instructed.
You obeyed and he threw his head back. You made a mental note that that seemed to work, before moving a little closer to him, until your mouth was hovering over his dick.
“Suck me”, he breathed, right as you wrapped your lips around his dick.
You licked at the slit of his dick, cleaning it from the new precum that had accumulated there. Taehyung grunted, and a second later you were moving down his dick.
He hissed. “Careful with your teeth.”
You hadn’t realized you had grazed him with your teeth, but you assumed he was in a better position to tell. You loosened your jaw, before pulling away. Taehyung let you do it, but as you were about to entirely let go of his dick, he thrusted up.
You gagged and he let go of your hair as you sat back on your heels.
“I am so sorry”, he apologized, eyes round as you met his gaze. “I didn’t mean…”
You chuckled, blinking away the tears that had formed because of the gag reflex. “It’s okay.”
He wet his lips, nodding his head. “You don’t have to suck my dick.”
You rolled your eyes, before jerking him up and down a few times. It shut him up, and he rested his head against the couch again, eyes fluttering shut.
Taehyung was attractive, from this angle. Sharp jaw that could cut through steel, dark locks falling all around his face. His chest had taken on a red flush, and it moved up and down quickly with his quick breathing.
You licked the head of his dick again, focusing on the spot you had found earlier. You sucked on it, using your tongue to play with it a little more, before you took him in again. This time, you didn’t try moving down his dick again. You focused on sucking on the head, hollowing your cheeks as you pumped his cock, keeping the tight grip he seemed to like.
He grunted as your tongue circled his head. “If you want”, he said after a time, “you can play with my balls at the same time.”
You immediately reached up with your free hand, grabbing his balls in your palm. You tightened your grip around them, and Taehyung shuddered under your touch.
“A little gentler with the balls, baby”, he said, chuckling.
You pulled away. “Sorry.”
“No”, he breathed, shaking his head. “You’re doing great.”
You had no idea if that was true, but it made your mouth salivate for more of his taste. So you guided him in your mouth again, this time taking him as far deep as you could. He moaned, even while half of his cock didn’t even fit in. You jerked him off, resting your tongue flat against him until you found the thick vein you had seen earlier.
You hollowed your cheeks, and your gaze locked with Taehyung as he finally opened his eyes. The dark look in his gaze was different now, as if he was about to break. And maybe he was going to break, his cock getting harder in your mouth as you bobbed your head up and down. Once in a while, you choked on him, and he let out a deep grunt that only made you want to go faster, to take more of him in. It was hard in the position, so you kept using your hands.
Your jaw ached, from how large he was. From having to keep your mouth open so wide to be able to take him in. It was a dull ache, and you ignored it, focusing on him. Focusing on making him feel good as you moved to a quick rhythm he established by pushing your head up and down on him.
You didn’t mind. You liked that he took control. It made a new heat pool between your legs, and you moaned against his cock.
“I’m going to cum soon”, Taehyung told you, before letting out a broken moan that sounded like your name. “Are you going to be a good girl and swallow everything?”
You would have said yes had you been in a position where you could talk. Instead, you moaned again, sucking on him harder. Taehyung moaned too, in a deep sound that made you shiver with lust for him, and a second later hot spurts of his cum hit the back of your throat. Your eyes shut, and you kept on sucking him, swallowing everything he threw at you. And he came a lot, the bitter taste making it very hard not to gag. As he came, Taehyung’s second hand grabbed your head, and his hips thrusted forward again. Not enough to make you choke around him, luckily enough.
When you were sure you had milked the last of his cum from his cock, you pulled away, licking your lips clean once you were sitting back on your heels. Taehyung looked spent on the couch, yet he pushed himself up a little, until he was leaning towards you.
“Open your mouth”, he said, holding onto your jaw with a firm grip. You obeyed, showing him that you had swallowed everything. He smirked, patting your cheek. “The best girl.”
You nodded, blushing a little as your mouth fell shut. He held your gaze for a time, before glancing around your apartment. His eyes eventually fell to your banana milk next to the couch, the drink long forgotten in the heat and passion you had shared.
“You might want to drink that to change the taste”, he said, letting out a soft laugh.
Your eyes dipped to his softening cock, and you nodded your head as you got up. “Let me just grab a shirt to put on.”
He tilted his head to the side. “Put my shirt on.”
Still that commanding tone of his… it was going to make you go crazy.
Scratch that, you were already crazy. Far more than you had ever thought you’d be. Hell, you had just given a blowjob to your best friend’s older brother. To Kim Taehyung, a member of the biggest boyband in the world.
You grabbed his dress shirt. It was a soft pink colour. For a moment you thought you had seen it somewhere, but the ecstasy that still clung to you made it hard to think. You put it on, buttoning up until your body was finally hidden from his hungry eyes. Yet they didn’t look all that hungry anymore. They just looked tired, positively so.
“I can’t believe we did this”, he said, a little breathlessly, as you finally sat next to him again, banana milk in hand. While you had been putting his shirt on, he had put his pants back on, hiding his soft dick from view. Yet you still could admire the warm skin of his chest, and the red flush that adorned the top part of it.
“Eunjin is never going to believe this”, you muttered.
Taehyung met your gaze, eyes widening a little. “She cannot know.” You paused, banana milk halfway to your mouth. Taehyung must have read something in your eyes, because he continued, “She’ll kill me if she knows. She already was pissed that I let you sleep in my bed the night of her party.”
You were surprised at the disappointment that rose inside of you. It tasted bitter, but not the kind of bitter Taehyung’s cum had tasted like. No, it tasted of regret.
“Oh”, you let out. You busied yourself with drinking the milk to hide the disappointment. Taehyung noticed it, though. You were pretty sure he did, so you quickly said, “It’s okay. Just weird, because we tell each other everything.”
Taehyung slowly nodded, wetting his lips. “I know.” He once again reached up, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I just don’t want the drama that would come with it.”
You didn’t really want it either. And he was right, Eunjin could cause a lot of drama if she wanted. You loved her endlessly, but you didn’t want her to scold you for achieving one of your teenage fantasies.
“Besides, I’d like to see you again”, Taehyung added. “I need to be alive for that, and we both know Jinnie will murder me if she knows.”
You laughed. Taehyung wanted to see you again?
“I’d rather you not die”, you said.
Taehyung offered you a secretive smile accompanied by a tilt of his head to the side. You held his dark gaze. Somewhere in its depth you could feel the demon watching you. And even though you were happy Taehyung wanted to see you again, the demon lurking in the shadows had your heart squeezing in your chest.
You were pretty sure it was just a matter of time before it ripped it from your ribcage.
 ***
               Kim Taehyung was a kind human being. Sweet as honey, with a smile that spread warmth wherever he went. You had seen him again three times, after that very first time, and he still swept you off your feet. He took to caring for you – offering you food and letting you wear his clothes whenever you felt like it. But Kim Taehyung was a busy man, and weeks passed without you hanging out.
You never had sex. The three times you had hung out had just been filled with cuddling, holding hands and make-out sessions that left you breathless. The orgasms he pulled out of you contributed to it too, you were pretty sure. Never going further than preliminaries, Taehyung still managed to make you come undone under his skilled fingers. But he never gave in to more. Whenever you asked, he said that you weren’t ready, and that you had to be patient.
You were tired of being patient. But then he kissed your forehead, smiled that sweet smile of his, and your annoyance dwindled away.
You hadn’t seen the demon in his eyes again, after that first time. Or you had just become blind to it. Sometimes you thought it didn’t really show up because Taehyung appreciated spending time with you. And he did say so. He only looked slightly uncomfortable when you suggested having sex for real, so you had decided to stop asking.
He’d give it to you whenever the time was right.
The Holidays rushed in, a little under two months after that first time you had seen him, and as they did family traditions settled in. You moved back to Daegu for the week off you had – first time you had it off since you had started working for Samsung. You were excited for it, mostly because you’d get to spend it with Eunjin’s family and yours. Even your brother was coming, along with his fiancée.
It promised to be an exciting time indeed.
“Do you think I should wear this?” Eunjin asked.
You were currently sprawled on her bed, scrolling through Instagram as she unpacked her suitcase. Sung-tan-jul was on the morrow, and it seemed Eunjin wanted to dress up for it. Which was useless, because it was just going to be your family and hers, and none of you had ever really been traditional.
“Uh?” you let out, scrolling to the next picture on your feed. It was a BTS edit, and your cheeks flushed red as Taehyung appeared on the screen.
To think Kim Taehyung had been between your legs more than once was the strangest thought. It felt surreal, yet it was the truth. A truth set in stone, one he reminded you of as he texted you. Your phone dinged, and Eunjin threw herself on the bed next to you.
“You’re not even listening.”
You blushed, hiding the notification from her. “Just wear whatever, it’s not like it really matters.”
It was a lie, sort of. Because you had prepared your prettiest outfits for the week, knowing that Taehyung would be here. You wanted to look good for him, because God knew Kim Taehyung never looked bad.
“I’ve looked through your clothes and you just brought designer stuff.” She rolled her eyes as you glanced at her. “It’s like you’re trying to impress someone.”
You hoped she didn’t see you blanch because you sure had.
“You know I like fashion”, you said.
That wasn’t a lie. You had always liked fashion, and you had gotten a raise earlier this year at work that had allowed you to start indulging in your passion, buying clothes you had never thought you would be able to afford.
“You do, and it’s annoying because you have a better sense of style than I do and I always look bad next to you.”
You sent her a pointed glance. “Bitch, you are the prettiest. I don’t have the choice but to dress well if I want to compare.”
Eunjin tsked, yet she remained silent as a smile stretched on her lips at the compliment.
You fell into a comfortable silence, and you continued scrolling through your phone. Eunjin did the same next to you, and she eventually started filling the silence with talks of her new work crush.
Scratch that, she was complaining about the guy. But you knew by the way she was getting worked up that there was more to it. She was your best friend after all.
You were surprised that she hadn’t realized the change in you. The change Taehyung had brought to you. Maybe because it was hidden, that change. Just for you and him to know. It felt exciting, to have a secret to hide. Like you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing, and the thrill of it had you craving for Taehyung’s touch a little more every day.
“Does she always complain like that?” the man’s deep baritone voice said from the door.
It was like thinking of him had summoned him out of thin air. Eunjin yelped, jumping out of bed to embrace Taehyung.
“Oppa, you idiot!” she said. “I thought you were only coming tomorrow.”
He smiled at you over her shoulder. A secretive smile, one that had butterflies forming in your stomach and warmth blossoming between your legs.
The effect he had on you… it was dangerous, considering you were going to spend a week under the same roof as him without having the opportunity to really spend time alone together.
“I was able to come earlier”, he said as they pulled away from their embrace. “Hi, Y/n.”
You shut your phone, sitting up in the bed. “Hey, Tae.”
Eunjin had her brows knit together when she turned to look at you. You had messed up, hadn’t you?
“Since when are you so casual with him?” she threw at you, tone accusative.
You shrugged your shoulders, hoping she couldn’t see your heart beating out of your chest. “Maybe since the party you threw during which he had to take care of me because you got me too drunk?”
Taehyung stifled a laugh as Eunjin’s gaze widened. “I got you drunk? Girl, you did that all by yourself.”
Maybe you had. You just offered her a crooked grin, before meeting Taehyung’s gaze. The world seemed to slow around you, and for a moment there was just you and him. You wished you could close the space between you, press your lips to taste the honey sweetness of his, but you resisted, your grin melting into a tight-lipped smile instead. He replied with a wink that went unnoticed to Eunjin before saying that dinner was soon going to be ready. Eunjin pushed him out of the room, before shutting the door behind her.
“Let me get changed before we go down.”
And that was how the Holidays began for you. It was warm, fun and nostalgic, reminding you of younger days. As everything did, when it came to the Kims and their childhood house. Your childhood house too, as you had spent most of your time here. It was also the first time your brother’s fiancée, Choi Ryunjin, spent time like that with your family. She had been very shy around Taehyung at first, but she had soon melted under the warmth of his smile, and the group that had once been five was six.
It was perfect. Sung-tan-jul, that is. With laughter and whiskey, and gifts exchanged next to a plastic Christmas tree, as snow fell lazily outside. There wasn’t a lot of it, but still the world outside was soon covered by a white blanket that made for a perfect Christmas.
It was an idyllic picture, just as much as the new memories you were making.
Taehyung was warm. Warmth incarnate, even. You shared longing looks and quick touches, when nobody was looking. It made your heart race, but you knew better than to go to him in the middle of the night. Even though your body was aching for it, you just wanted to spend time with him as a friend.
A little foolish part of you hoped it would help with the relationship you shared. Though situationship was probably a more accurate word.
Eunjin didn’t seem to suspect a thing in the days that followed. Didn’t notice that Taehyung always managed to sit next to you, only so he could press his thigh against yours. Taehyung was a touchy man and you loved it to no end. It made you feel important, even if all you were was some sort of friends with benefits.
On the day before New Year’s Eve, the house fell silent for the first time in almost a week, most of everyone deciding to go enjoy the nice weather outside with a stroll through the fields, while the mothers made a trip to the market to gather whatever was needed for the celebrations the next day. You had stayed behind because you wanted to get some work done, and you were sitting in Eunjin’s dad’s office when Taehyung appeared at the door, cheeks pink from the cold outside.
“You should come with us”, he said, hands hidden behind his back.
Even dressed casually Taehyung looked good. Black jeans paired with a black t-shirt that he had tucked in his pants, and he had completed the look with a black belt made of real leather. His hair was ruffled by the wind outside, and the dust of pink on his features made him look so real.
Real and human in the most beautiful way, for a man that had been stealing your breath away for so long now.
“I’m almost done with work”, you said, stretching as you held in a yawn.
Taehyung leaned against the doorframe, his hands still hidden behind his back. “You shouldn’t be working during the holidays.”
“I’m pretty sure you are used to working during the holidays.”
He grinned sheepishly. “Not this year though. And I’d like to spend some time with you.”
It hit you then, that you hadn’t even had a second to yourselves since coming here. Just stolen touches and glances whenever you could, but nothing that you could add to the memories you had been making with Taehyung ever since November. Memories that were just yours to know, your little secret that made for the most beautiful garden in your heart.
“Do you?” you said as blood rushed to your cheeks.
He nodded, before pushing up from the door frame and walking towards you. “I haven’t even had the chance to give you your Sung-tan-jul gift.”
Your eyes widened as he revealed what he had been hiding behind his back: a red velvet box, with an elegant bow holding it close. It looked expensive, and you quickly shook your head.
“Oh no, Tae, you shouldn’t have gotten...”
The smile on his lips turned into a dangerous smirk that had your words die in your throat. He held out the box, and you knew you had turned a shade darker as you grabbed it.
“What is it?” you asked as you ran fingers on the soft velvet.
“Open it.”
You threw him a cautious glance, before gently pulling on the bow until it came undone. You hesitated for half a second before lifting the lid of the box and you were left dumbfounded for a time. Staring at the contents of the box without realizing what they were.
And then realization fell upon you, and you quickly put the lid back on the box.
“Oh my God, Taehyung, why did you give me this here?” you said, as your heart beat frantically in your chest. “What if someone sees it?”
He shrugged, a boyish smile gracing his pretty features. “Nobody is inside.”
“But someone could…”
“It’s just for you to know, sweetheart”, Taehyung interjected, and once again your words died on your lips. “I just thought we could take the next step in all of this.” His last words were punctuated by a motion of his to the air surrounding you.
All of this… Did he really think you would be willing to get tied up and blindfolded here? And you were pretty sure the leathery thing in the middle of the box was a whip of some sort…
Kim Taehyung was out of his mind, and you couldn’t even bring it in you to be mad at you. No, the blood that had raced to your cheeks had trickled down to your core, and warmth lit up your soul.
“But here?”
Your question lingered in the air, as you met his heavy gaze and tried to hold it. You were too much of a coward, and your eyes fell to the floor.
“Well, it’s my birthday”, he pointed out.
It was. You had wished him a happy birthday first thing in the morning, and had hugged him for a moment. A friendly hug, though he had held on to you for a little longer than necessary. No one had paid any mind to it, but the moment had been replaying in your thoughts on a loop ever since this morning.
“Someone could hear us”, you breathed, right as his hand reached for your chin.
He tilted your head backwards, until your eyes had met his again. “You’d just have to be quiet.”
“Eunjin will realize if I’m not in bed with her.” You were defiant, just a little. Something you had realized worked well when Taehyung desired you.
He wet his lips, before leaning down. To your surprise, the kiss landed on your forehead, and your eyelids fluttered shut instinctively.
“You know there could be a typhoon outside and she’d sleep through it.” He straightened, and your eyes fluttered open.
He wasn’t wrong, but he was still crazy if he thought you’d do anything with him when both of your families were under the same roof.
“You’re out of your mind”, you mumbled, and his thumb pulled on your bottom lip. Your mouth fell open, and he leaned down once again, this time kissing you softly before pulling away.
“For you?” He paused, as if to give emphasis to his words. “Always.”
Your hand reached out in the space between you, fingers hooking with the loop of his pants to make sure he wouldn’t pull away. Because you didn’t want him to pull away just yet. Not when your heart filled with warmth and butterflies rose in your stomach.
“You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.
It wasn’t your first time telling him that. Whenever Taehyung said some stuff that made your heart race, you tended to remind him that whatever you shared was just physical. He was merely teaching you about sex, and you couldn’t let feelings intervene.
You knew situations like the one you shared never ended well when feelings were implied.
“Sorry”, he apologized, though he looked the least bit apologetic. “I’ve just missed being with you.”
He was letting you interpret his words however you wanted. You could tell from the way he was looking down at you. So you interpreted them as a craving of his body, and not something his heart might want. Because you weren’t stupid: there wasn’t a universe out there where Kim Taehyung might want you for more than that. You were both driven by lust, and by a teenage crush that had just held stronger than you had first believed. There was no affection between the two of you, other than that of the affection one holds for a childhood friend.
“So have I”, you breathed, pulling him a little closer.
His crotch was at eye-level with your gaze, yet you refused to look down. You knew the position was most definitely driving him insane though, and it made you feel powerful.
He often did that. Make you feel powerful, that is. It was addicting, like everything that came with him. Taehyung was like a cigarette, and the nicotine addiction was burning you from the inside out.
He grabbed your hand, pulling you up to your feet. You didn’t resist, following his lead until he had wrapped your arms around his neck and had put his large hands on your waist. There seemed to be a moment of the world holding its breath, and then Taehyung leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.
You melted into his touch, kissing him back with all the want in you. All the passion and the burning and the intoxicating feelings he brought up in you. He met your fire with a swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, and you parted your mouth open for him.
“Oppa, do you know where eoma keeps the gloves?” Eunjin yelled, probably from downstairs.
You jumped out of Taehyung’s arms, face burning red, insides the temperature of molten metal. He had a startled expression on his face, but his voice didn’t waver as he replied to his sister, before adding, “I’ll be out in a second”.
You listened to Eunjin move downstairs, heart beating wildly in your chest. It didn’t calm down until you heard the door open and close downstairs, and the house fell silent again.
“That was close”, Taehyung said, boxy grin on his lips.
He took a step towards you, and you stepped back. “Nu-uh, no more of this until tonight”, you warned him.
His grin turned into a smirk, and he looked at you with his smoldering gaze for a time. “I’ll be waiting for you then.”
You nodded, slowly, taking a deep breath to calm the wild beats of your heart. Your gaze moved to the box you had left discarded on the desk next to your laptop. “And also hide that somewhere. Eunjin will see it if I put it in her room.”
“Yes, ma’am”, Taehyung agreed. There was a teasing undertone to his voice, and you folded your arms on your chest, getting ready to scold him when he stepped closer so quickly you didn’t have time to move back. He pressed a kiss on the tip of your nose, before smiling at you with that blinding smile of his.
You stood, stunned, as he grabbed the box before walking out of the room, throwing a wink at you over his shoulder. And then he was gone, and you were left fighting your treacherous heart.
You reminded yourself that you couldn’t fall in love. You’d never be delusional enough to fall in love with him. But when he acted like that, it made it far too easy for your heart to fill with endearment. It was dangerous ground to tread.
You didn’t want to set yourself up for a broken heart.
 *****
                 The house was dark when you stepped outside Eunjin’s room, somewhere between midnight and one in the morning. Her snores had been keeping you awake, that was true, but it mostly was the perspective of meeting with Taehyung that had kept your eyes wide open, waiting until you were convinced Eunjin wouldn’t realize you were gone.
Taehyung had been teasing, all night. All smirks and winks when nobody was watching. He had caressed your thigh under the table during the meal, unbeknownst to everyone. Everyone but you, who had been forced to clench your teeth as you had tried to ignore the effect he had on you.
As if that was likely to ever happen. He was Kim Taehyung. You didn’t think there was a world out there where Kim Taehyung didn’t have an effect on the women surrounding him. Especially when he had been your childhood crush.
His room was down the hallway, and you had to pass in front of Jeongyu’s room to get there. Luckily enough, Jeongyu had lent his room to your parents for the weekend, and you knew your father’s loud breathing was going to cover the creaking of the hallway as you tiptoed towards Taehyung’s room. You could only hope your mother wouldn’t need to go to the bathroom while you were with Taehyung.
Yet… the possibility of getting caught… it made you feel hot, in some way. Because you were breaking rules. You, the perfect daughter that had never done anything she shouldn’t…
It was way past time to be imperfect.
You reached Taehyung’s room, heart beating wildly against your ribcage. You knocked, a gentle knock that probably hadn’t even sounded on his side of the door. Yet the door slowly opened, and Taehyung’s face appeared in the crack between the door and the wall. His eyes shone brightly, expectantly, and as soon as he focused on you, he opened the door for you to walk in.
Needless to say, he very carefully shut it behind you, as you took a few tentative steps in his room.
“You…” you breathed, a little louder than you had first intended.
“Shh”, he shushed you. He walked to you, gently grabbing your arm to make you turn towards him.
You obeyed, because you always obeyed whatever Taehyung told you to do, and you found yourself facing him. Well, tilting your head back to look up at him, as he stood closer to you than you had expected him to be.
Taehyung wasn’t a particularly tall man, but when he was next to you it felt as if he towered over you, with a dangerous look in his eyes that made you gulp.
“We don’t want someone to hear us”, he pointed out, before bending down to press a chaste kiss on your lips. When he straightened, his eyes had recovered their mischievous shine. “Do you know how pretty you were tonight?”
You blushed, wetting your lips. “I wanted to look good for you.”
“I figured.” He smirked, slowly nodding his head. He then grabbed your hand, looking around his room. “How do you like it?”
You liked it very much. Indeed, Taehyung had lit up candles all around his room, creating a romantic ambiance that made you want to be closer to him. To be entwined with him until you forgot where you ended and where he started. From the look on his face, you knew he wanted that too.
It was then that you realized he was highly likely to take your virginity tonight. Not that virginity was something that mattered, it really just was a social construct. But Taehyung was going to take it tonight, whatever it was, and heat immediately pooled at your core at the thought of it.
“It’s pretty”, you breathed, catching his gaze again.
The candles casted flickering lights on the side of his face, making his honey skin glow with warmth. You reached between you, brushing a stand of hair behind his ear. He carefully observed you as you did so, and you wondered if he could see your heart beating in your chest.
It really did feel like it was about to break free of your ribcage.
“It’s going to be prettier when you’re tied up on my bed.”
Taehyung’s words entirely stopped your heart in your chest. They killed you right on the spot, and maybe that was the reason why you found yourself grabbing the collar of his shirt, pulling him into your embrace.
Taehyung’s lips crashed against yours, and your whole soul caught fire. You let out a breathy sound, and he swallowed it hungrily as he grabbed your waist, pulling you flush against him. His body was solid, beautiful, against you like that, and you let your hands fall from his collar to his shoulders, before moving them to his chest. His heart was beating wildly under your fingertips, and you breathed out a moan again as one of his hands cupped your ass.
“Happy birthday to me”, he said, barely even pulling away to speak the words. No, his lips moved against yours in the shape of his words, and it made you chuckle shyly.
“Happy birthday”, you echoed, and the kiss turned sweeter. Slow, steady, like he had been kissing you that first time at your place.
Taehyung tentatively swiped his tongue at your bottom lip, tasting you, and you parted your lips to suck on his tongue. You could tell he liked it, and the sweetness of the kiss almost immediately returned to its previous fire, with Taehyung pushing you back towards the bed.
You sat on it, mostly because the back of your knees had hit the side, and you looked up at Taehyung, eyes round and innocent as he towered over you.
You couldn’t believe this man would be the one to fuck you for the first time.
“I want to tie you up”, he breathed, and his eyes shot to the headboard of the bed.
You followed his line of gaze, only noticing that he had already tied the silk ropes to it. All that was left to complete his fantasy was you, lying in his bed.
“But I need to undress you first, mmh?”
You were pretty sure blood had rushed to your cheeks again, but you didn’t have time to contemplate on it before he pulled his shirt over his head, and your gaze fell to the strong planes of his body. In this lighting, he looked sharper, as if he was made of glass. You could only hope he wouldn’t break under your fingers.
But then again, you were pretty sure you were the one likely to break when Kim Taehyung was looking at you like that. With pupils blown wide in his dark eyes, making them look like black pits in the middle of his face. His familiar lips kept the sight from being terrifying, but a tiny part of you knew you ought to be afraid.
You ignored it with all the lust in your heart.
Once his shirt was off, Taehyung started working on his belt, undoing it with skilled fingers as his gaze never left yours. You found it hard not to look away, but you knew Taehyung loved his eye contact. So you focused on him, even as his belt came undone. He dropped it to the ground, and the loop hitting the ground made a thumping sound that took you by surprise.
It was loud, in the silence of the night, and you could only hope no one had heard.
His pants were soon to follow, pooling around his ankles, and you couldn’t keep from looking down as the distinct motion of him stroking his dick caught in your peripheral vision.
Your eyes dipped down and his dick was free, half soft, yet he was pumping it slowly. Heat pooled at your core, and you moved closer to the edge of the bed.
Taehyung took a step towards you, and you didn’t even hesitate before going right in, licking at his head.
His eyes were shut when you looked up, and you took that as a cue to start working on him, just how he had shown you to. You wrapped your lips around the head, using your tongue to play with the sensitive spot at the back of the head, and you replaced his hand at the base of his dick with one of yours. That hand immediately started stroking him, with the perfect pressure, and you sucked on the head before starting to bob back and forth to the same rhythm, eyes looking up until Taehyung’s eyelids finally fluttered open to reveal his lustful gaze.
“Fuck”, he whispered, in that low baritone voice of his that made you go crazy inside.
You shut your eyes as he bucked his hips, hitting the back of your throat with his cock. It had turned harder in your mouth, and you gagged around it. Taehyung gently caressed one of your cheeks, willing your eyes to open until you met his gaze.
His gaze looked different, now. Still dark, but shining from within. Perhaps because of the candles, and of their soft glow on his honey skin. Or maybe it was the emotions in their depths. Emotions you couldn’t interpret, didn’t understand, but that made you pull away.
Sucking his dick while he was looking at you like that felt too weird.
“I should be the one going down on you”, he murmured. “Especially with all I have planned for you tonight.”
No sweetness coated his words. Just pure filth, and really it contrasted deeply with his soft eyes. Yet it made you gulp, and you slowly nodded your head, before standing up. Your hands instinctively rested on his chest, and his large ones found your waist. He pulled you in, going for a kiss that landed at the corner of your mouth. You barely felt its warm caress, especially not as his hands found their way under your shirt. He started drawing circles on your skin, gently, and he kissed the other corner of your mouth.
You breathed out, and he swallowed it as he pressed his lips against yours, moving them slowly. It was a steady rhythm you knew too well, one that had started feeling like home after the first few times you had hung out with Taehyung in the secrecy of your relationship.
He pulled away, offering you a small smile as he pulled your shirt over your head. You shivered without the fabric on your skin, nipples perked up in the space between you two. Taehyung glanced down at them, and his smile turned appreciative as he cupped your breast with one of his big hands while the other one worked to get you out of your shorts. Once they pooled around your ankles, you stepped out and closer to him, pressing your chest against his until he let your breast go to hold you flush against him.
He kissed you again then, wilder, with all the fire he had kissed you with earlier. It was hot, and you wondered if you would melt under his skilled digits. So hot he seared a mark on your lips each time his mouth moved against yours. You met him with the same fire, offered him that same passion, as you focused on the space between you. On where his dick was trapped between your bodies, standing proud and tall.
And very hard.
You moaned in his mouth, and Taehyung cupped your ass, before slapping it once. Still he didn’t pull away, and the breath in your lungs became scarce, yet you didn’t care. You would die kissing him if you had to.
There was no better way to go than kissing Kim Taehyung.
Unfortunately, he probably thought otherwise, because Taehyung pulled away, sucking in a sharp breath as your eyes fluttered open.
“On the bed, princess”, he said, gesturing behind you.
So it was time. You gulped, nodding, before climbing on the bed, nestling yourself in the pillows at the headboard. Taehyung kneeled in front of you, large hands grabbing your ankles. He caressed his way up your legs, up to your knees, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind his touch, before going back down to your ankles. He only then pulled on you so you were in a lying position.
The male chuckle he let out told you he had caught sight of the pooling wetness that had already soaked through your panties.
“You’re already so wet, aren’t you?” he said, baritone voice carrying to your ears in the silence of the night.
He had whispered the words, just for you to hear, yet they had sounded so loud. Loud and clear, and you instinctively brought your thighs together, looking for some friction.
“Don’t”, he warned you, before spreading your legs wide open. “I want to taste my birthday gift before I fuck it into oblivion.”
A shiver of pleasure ran up your spine.
“Please do.”
He smirked, tilting his head to the side. A predator eyeing its prey.
“Oh, I will. Should I tie you up first?”
He didn’t let you answer the question. Instead, he dove in, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the place where your juice was already soaking your panties. You would have moaned out loud had you been alone and not in his family home. Instead, you let out a breathy sound, something that resembled more of a whine.
Before he continued, Taehyung pulled your panties down your legs, observing you through half-lidded eyes. You held his gaze, giving in to his fantasies, but once his mouth found your pussy again, tongue dipping between your lips, your eyelids fluttered shut.
You bit down on your lip, hard, trying to hold in your sounds, as your hand flew in the space between you, finding a handful of his hair to hold onto. He let you do it as he made out with your pussy, his deep chuckle making your nerve endings light up.
Once he got tired of his tongue inside of you, Taehyung focused on your clit, flicking at it unforgivably, establishing a harsh rhythm that he soon accompanied with a long finger curling inside of you. It stretched your walls, but just a little. Nothing like his dick would.
The thought was enough to make you clench against him, and Taehyung hissed.
“Relax, princess, I want to be able to fuck you”, he said, before going back to your clit. This time, he moved slower, and your walls released him, enough so that he added a second finger. The combination of the two fingers spreading you wide open and the slow steady flicking on your clit had the corners of your vision turning blurry, until all you could focus on was his face between your legs.
He looked devilishly good down there.
“Tae…” you breathed out.
He glanced up at you, his lustful gaze burning into yours, and you felt an orgasm forming on the horizon of your conscience. It hit you head on when he pushed a third finger inside of you as he sucked right on your clit, teasing the bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue.
Your eyes shut as you came, and your thighs tightened around his face. He worked you through your high, slow and steady, before pulling out of you once he was sure he had milked the last of the orgasm out of you.
It took a moment for your gaze to find his again, and you almost wished it hadn’t. Because Taehyung was holding the small leather whip now, and he ran it up your side.
“Can I use this on you?” he asked as he traced the shape of your breast, before caressing your nipple with it.
You held in the moan, or maybe the curse that had taken shape on your lips.
“Not to hurt you”, he said, almost like a promise.
“I don’t think I can stay silent if you use that on me”, you admitted, cheeks burning with the afterglow of your orgasm.
He pouted, looking at the whip, before slowly nodding his head. “We’ll have to save it for when we’re back in Seoul.”
You wet your lips, nodding before sitting up in his bed as he threw the whip to the side. He must have dried his hands of your juice at some point, because when Taehyung cupped your cheeks to kiss you slowly, his fingers were dry. Dry and gentle, yet he held you firmly, running his thumbs on your skin.
You reached between you, aiming blindly for his dick, and Taehyung jumped as you found its velvety softness, wrapping your hand around the base before pumping him a couple of times. He pulled away then, chuckling.
“You’re such a good girl”, he praised.
You melted under the praise, gripping him tighter until his gaze had turned even darker. You only understood what that meant for you when he grabbed your hand, pulling it away from him.
Away from him and towards the silk rope on one side of the headboard.
“You…” you let out, as he started tying you up with skilled fingers.
“I don’t want you touching me”, he murmured. “This is all about what you feel.”
“I like touching you”, you complained, with a little whiny voice that had him offering you a soft smile.
“I’ll let you touch later.” He held your gaze, before kissing your lips softly once. “Unless you are uncomfortable with me tying you up.”
As much as being tied up for your first time felt weird, it also felt right. Right because Taehyung was home, and you trusted him.
You knew he would untie you the moment you looked uncomfortable.
“No, it’s okay”, you said, offering him consent. “Just don’t tie it too tight.”            
He smiled softly, pecking your lips another time. “I would never.”
He then guided you until you were lying down, before tying your other wrist on the other side of the headboard. The position was strange, but it didn’t hurt, and he had given you enough slack in the rope so you could pull on the restraints a little, keeping it from being painful for your shoulders.
Once that was done, Taehyung moved away until he was standing, and your eyes followed him carefully as he reached for condoms in his bedside table. He put a condom on, stroking his dick up and down a few times to make sure it was well in place, before moving back between your legs.
He was big. His large head stretched the condom thin, and you looked down at him as he positioned himself next to your entrance.
He caught your gaze, offering you another one of those sweet smiles of his. The ones that tugged his lips downwards a little, yet you knew they held happiness.
Or whatever happiness he could find in the act of having sex with you.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, holding your gaze.
You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you watched the shadows that danced on his features from the flickering light of the candles. He waited as you remained silent, patiently, hand still wrapped around the base of his dick.
Taehyung felt like home. Look like it too, familiar features that you had come to know growing up. He felt like innocence and nostalgia, in the right way. Even though the act you were about to do held nothing innocent.
“Yes.”
You had never been more sure of anything in your life.
Taehyung nodded slowly, and his gaze turned dark again. The sweetness was entirely gone from his face when he started pushing in, and you instinctively pulled against the restraints at the burn.
“Easy”, he whispered once the head was in. He let go of his dick, running soothing hands on your sides. “It will hurt a little at first.”
Your eyes fell shut as he kept pushing in, stretching you wider than his fingers ever had. It did hurt, a little, but mostly it felt strange. You focused on the strangeness, letting the pain go as he continued his way in, up until he reached your cervix.
That part hurt like a bitch, and you let out a small yelp of pain.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he pulled out.
“Sorry.”
“Are you okay?” he repeated, completely ignoring your apology.
You nodded slowly, but refused to meet his gaze.
“Look at me”, he murmured, and one of his large hands cupped your cheek.
Your eyes fluttered open instinctively. He was ethereal, kneeling between your legs, hair falling in his gaze. You tried to move the strand away, but the silk rope held you in place.
“Do you want me to untie you?” he asked.
“No”, you answered, with a small voice. “Can you go in again?”
He remained silent, but he obeyed, pushing his dick inside of you once more. You held his gaze until he bottomed out again, and the pain shot through your nerves. It was a little less this time, but still there nonetheless.
“I’m hurting you”, he stated.
You shook your head. “It’s just…” you trailed off, swallowing audibly. “It hurts when you are all the way in.”
He pulled out a little, and the sensation dissipated to nothing.
“Better?”
You nodded.
“Words”, he reminded you.
It made you smile. “Yes Tae, it’s better.”
He smiled too, before bending down. It made his dick move inside of you, but your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed you sweetly, before slowly pulling almost all the way out.
“Then I won’t go too deep for now”, he murmured against your lips. You nodded against him, before kissing him again.
It was a slow kiss, timed with the back and forth of his hips. The sensation still felt strange, not as good as what his fingers made you feel like, but it was a good kind of strange.
The kind that made your heart beat steadier in your chest as he kept on kissing you, swallowing every breathy sound you made.
It took a moment, but the sensation slowly changed, inching towards pleasure as he moved a little faster, shifting a little until he hit a different spot inside of you. It didn’t hurt, not even a little bit, but you could feel how big he was, how much he was stretching you.
You really had chosen a big dick for your first time, hadn’t you?
Taehyung moved from your lips to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the skin. You moaned softly, quietly, and he picked up the pace a little. You could feel his balls slapping your ass each time he went almost all the way in, but you were pretty sure there were still a few inches of his dick out of you.
You doubted he’d ever be able to fuck you with the entirety of it. But as you slowly eased into the sensation, you pulled on the silk ropes, fingers aching to be touching him.
“Easy, princess”, he breathed on the spot under your ear. His low voice sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core, and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer.
He reached deep inside of you. Yet this time it didn’t hurt, and you even let out a small moan that had him look up from your neck.
“Quiet”, he reminded you, before pressing a kiss on your lips. “Quiet or I’ll have to stop.”
“No.”
Your quick reply had him smirking, and he straightened until he was back to a kneeling position between your legs. His dick was still deep inside of you, where he had stilled a moment ago, and you wondered if this was still Taehyung.
If he was still the man you knew and had had a crush on. Because the next moment everything lost coherency, and the only reason why you couldn’t moan out loud was that he had pressed a hand on your mouth, holding one of your thighs with the other.
He fucked into you. Relentlessly. Pushing you to your limits, trying different angles that had you seeing stars. He was panting over you, sweat glittering on his brow with the light of the candles. But he never slowed down, keeping that same unforgiving pace that turned everything inside of you to liquid lava.
“Such a good little princess”, he breathed, and there was an edge to his voice. Maybe because he too was keeping his grunts and moans in, or maybe because he was on the verge of coming.
You couldn’t tell, and your brain had completely lost the ability to think a couple of moments ago.
“So tight”, he praised as he slowed the rhythm, and you met his gaze. “So fucking tight.”
He pushed inside of you harder, and a pained expression moved on your features. He immediately stopped, before bending down again.
“Let me untie you.”
You hadn’t realized that you were pulling on the restraints so hard, but as soon as your wrists were freed you wrapped your arms around Taehyung’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. He fucked into you again then, quick and hard and he swallowed the moans that escaped the confines of your mouth.
Your hands roamed his body, getting lost in his hair and caressing the skin of his back, until you were pretty sure you could mold his shape into mud. Until you were pretty sure you knew every little aspect of him, as his lips kept moving against yours. His tongue met yours, and he kissed you wildly, letting out a grunt that had your walls clenching against him.
“Fuck fuck fuck”, he cursed in your mouth.
You let out another breathy moan, and he pulled back to look at your face. He was so close you could count the moles on his features, and you reached to trace them, gently, as his rhythm slowed down.
“Everything okay?” you asked him, almost pensively, as he moved way too slow for pleasure to steal your thoughts again.
“You feel like heaven, princess”, he praised, and he landed a kiss on the top of your nose. “But I’m not sure I want to come yet.”
You bit your lip, before pulling him closer again. Not enough for your lips to touch, but enough for your eyelids to fall shut from the proximity. “Please come for me, Tae.”
“Fuck.” His curse held no bite as he nodded. You watched his blown pupils as he started moving faster again, until his balls were slapping your ass once more. It was a little loud, but you didn’t want to stop Taehyung from chasing his high, so you kept silent, holding your moans in as he dug his face in your neck, sucking a mark on your shoulder to keep his own moan in.
It hurt. Just a little. The kind of pain that made your nails dig in his back. Just a little. But that was enough to send Taehyung over the edge, and he cursed as he emptied inside the condom, stilling his movements deep inside of you. You could feel his dick twitching as he unloaded, and you held him close as he bit into the spot he had been sucking on.
Halfway through the ordeal, Taehyung moved his head from your neck. You barely had time to look at his glossy lips before he had them pressed against yours, and he kissed you through the remainder of his orgasm. Fast and wild and wet, with his tongue chasing yours in your mouth.
Once he was done, Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, and you breathed the same air until your heartbeats had gone steady in your chests again. Only then did Taehyung pull away, and his dick pulled free from your pussy, leaving you empty.
It really did feel empty after he had been stretching you like that.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as he rolled next to you, turning his face to look at you.
It took a moment for you to meet his gaze, and you just watched him carefully as he awaited your reply ever so patiently.
“Good”, you whispered.
He smiled, that same sweet smile that had stolen your heart when you were just a teenager. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
He looked away, eyes trailing to the ceiling. You watched the flickering lights of the candles on his profile for a time, before looking up at the ceiling too.
“For being here with me for my birthday”, he said. “But also for trusting me with your first time.”
You wet your lips, shrugging your shoulders. “I think some part of me always imagined that it would be you.”
You wanted to curse yourself the moment the words had left your lips.
“What?”
His eyes had moved back to you now, but you refused to meet his gaze. “I had a crush on you when we were younger.”
“Oh.” He remained silent for a time, and you wondered if he could hear every painful beat of your heart. “That’s cute.”
You blushed even though your cheeks were already flushed from the sex. “Cute?”
“Mmh”, he hummed in agreement. “You’re cute.”
You looked at him then, meeting his dark eyes. They were crinkling at the corners, as the corners of his lips tugged upwards on his handsome features.
“Am I?”
He nodded slowly. “Especially when I’m fucking you.”
A teasing glint had taken form in his gaze, and you rolled your eyes. “I should have expected you’d be an ass about it.”
“Hey”, he let out, and he rested a hand palm first on your stomach. “I’d never be an ass when it comes to you.”
Could he tell he had stopped your heart in your chest with that simple sentence?
“Never?”
He seemed to ponder for a time. “Not purposefully, no.”
It made you wary, and you furrowed your brows. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“That I don’t want to be an ass when it comes to you.”
You didn’t want to feel like you felt then. As if the crush had never left and was slowly blossoming into more. But he made it so damn hard.
“As much as I like hearing you say that, I should probably head back to Eunjin’s room”, you murmured, before cowering away from his gaze as disappointment filled it.
You were fleeing. You knew you were, but you didn’t have another option.
Kim Taehyung was far too dangerous for your own good.
 *****
               Days came and went, faster than you had ever imagined they could. Being held by Kim Taehyung felt like that: as if you were a fast car racing for the end of the street.
You could only hope the end of the street wasn’t made of a stonewall.
The rest of the Holidays had been lovely, with your family and his. You had then gone back home to Seoul, and your secret meetings with Taehyung resumed in their usual scene: him in your apartment, and occasionally you in his. You liked going to his place, and it was needless to say why: his dog was one of the cutest you had seen in your life. It was also reassuring, in some way, to know that Taehyung didn’t mind you being in his place. Even if what you shared was still but an illicit affair, being held by him in his bed while the alarm clock on his bedside table read the hour of early mornings felt just right.
You didn’t have a chance to meet up often. It made you wary, sad, and sometimes you thought yourself to be delusional. Because you wanted to see him more, wanted to share his days the way you shared his nights. The Holidays had given you a glimpse of that. A week, outside of time, where you had known you’d get to see him every day. Where he had brushed his fingers against yours when no one else looked, as if he just couldn’t resist closing the distance between you.
Months passed, and you wondered if there would be a day where you wouldn’t need to wait. Sometimes, you considered ending things with Taehyung, just because he was silent for a while. But whenever he held you again, you knew you couldn’t stop. Drugs were addictive, and Kim Taehyung was the most addictive drug this world held.
The devil through and through. Because he was sweet, giving in to your fantasies. Cuddling you when you didn’t feel like having sex, teasing you about shared memories or kissing your shoulder while you cooked food for him. Occasional meetings, yes, but all of them held feelings you had never thought you’d feel.
The months of winter passed, with icy winds carrying snowdrifts and staying in as cold reigned over the world. You worked a lot during those months, and maybe that most of all was the reason why you never found the courage to speak to Taehyung. Because even though you were growing wary, seeing him felt like a day of summer in the middle of winter, and you needed it. It wasn’t like he treated you badly. Taehyung was sweet, with everything he did. You just couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing when you weren’t together.
You knew some stuff from his public persona, but Taehyung was far more than what met the eyes of outsiders. His mind was complex, a maze you hadn’t been able to figure out. You didn’t know if you were to figure it out someday, and some part of you wondered if it would have been different, had he not become an idol. Had he stayed in Daegu, next to you. It was treacherous thoughts, so you pushed them away whenever they came.
Surprisingly enough, Eunjin didn’t notice the change in you. Or maybe she had chosen not to, and she never questioned you whenever you fell silent, or gazed in the distance longingly. It was the strangest thing to be hiding something so big from your best friend, but it had become second nature a while ago.
The month of April was pretty, in Seoul. With flowers blossoming on every street corner, and warm winds erasing the chills winter had left behind. They also eased the thoughts that held a dark corner of your heart, whenever it came to Taehyung. Shed light to the darkness, especially when Taehyung invited you over some early afternoon. It was unusual, as you always met later in the evening, but he had called you on one of your rare days off. You weren’t going to miss the opportunity.
You got ready quickly, dressing up in a black skirt that you paired with a dark cardigan over a white polo shirt. It looked preppy, a style you had realized Taehyung enjoyed. Though his clothing usually was far more expensive than yours, it still felt great whenever he complimented you for how you dressed.
Taehyung’s compliments hit differently than those of the other men around you. Not that there were a lot of men. Except for the males in your family and Jeongyu, you didn’t really talk to any men other than Taehyung.
You didn’t want that to change.
You made your way to Taehyung’s place slowly, enjoying the warm breeze the day held. The sun shone brightly, with only a few lazy white clouds streaming overhead. Birds sang their chirpy songs, accompanying the music you were bobbing your head to from the lone earbud in your left ear. You bowed at the sweet old street vendor that offered you tteokbokki, reminding you of that night Taehyung had come to pick you up. The first night something had happened between the two of you, when a whole new world had opened up to you. It plastered a smile on your lips, and you arrived at Taehyung’s place in a cheery mood.
It only swelled even more when he opened his door to you, with a matching bright smile on his own lips. He spoke your name softly, grabbing your hand and pulling you in.
You giggled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Hi”, you greeted him, hugging him back as the fragrance of his detergent hit your nose.
It smelled just like him, and you shut your eyes as you rested your head against his shoulder.
“I’m happy you could come over”, he murmured. He pulled away from the hug, just enough to press a kiss on the top of your head. “Yeontan missed you.”
Another light giggle fell from your lips. “Yeontan?” you questioned, even if you could hear the dog barking from the other room.
“Mmh.” Taehyung nodded, and he kissed the top of your head again. “I missed you too.”
“That’s more like it.” You said it teasingly, and Taehyung chuckled over you.
“Where did you get tteokbokki?”
You had all but forgotten the little plastic bag that hung from your hand, and you pulled away from the hug to give it to Taehyung.
 “Some sweet lady offered it to me while I was on my way.”
 A mischievous smile spread on his lips, one you echoed as you took off your shoes to follow him in.
Yeontan was on the couch when you walked in the living room, barking happily from the cushion he was sitting on. You made your way to the little dog, picking him up to hug him against your chest as Taehyung kept moving in, towards the kitchen area. You followed him as the dog tried licking your chin, which made you laugh giddily.
If the look Taehyung offered you over his shoulder wasn’t endearing, you didn’t know what endearment was. It filled your heart with warmth, and blush crept on your cheeks.
Taehyung put the tteokbokki down on his table, before moving to grab chopsticks for the both of you. You sat on a chair, putting Yeontan down on your thighs as you watched Taehyung walk back to your side. He sat on the chair next to you, leaving the chopsticks next to the plastic bag before bending down to press a kiss on Yeontan’s head.
He pressed a kiss on your cheek next, before moving to grab the tteokbokki from the bag. It smelled delicious as he pulled the lid off, and he smiled at you as he offered you a short glance.
“Enjoying the day off?” he asked, and a second later he was digging in the tteokbokki.
You followed his lead, and the sweet and spicy flavor filled your mouth as you chewed on the rice cake. Taehyung seemed to regret his decision, fanning his mouth as a disgusted scowl formed on his features.
“Why is it so spicy?” he asked after he swallowed.
You let out a small laugh. “It’s always spicy”, you reminded him.
He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, and you gently shoved him in the shoulder.
“Actually”, he said after a short moment of silence. “I have something I wanted to ask you.”
“What’s up?” you asked, without thinking more of it.
You were in a good mood after all. But when Taehyung didn’t reply right away, only watching you carefully, you turned your head towards him, putting the chopsticks down on the bowl.
“Is something wrong?” you asked, voice smaller all of a sudden.
“If I asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend for a dinner, would you say yes?”
You sucked in a breath, eyes going a little wide. Your heart skipped a beat, and you found you couldn’t hold his gaze.
“What?”
You could see him worry at his bottom lip as he thought, probably searching for the right words to say to convince you. “The members have been on my back about being single for a while”, he said carefully. “I just want them to stop.”
You could understand where he was coming from. People, mostly your family, often annoyed you about being single, about not having someone in your life. It got on your nerves sometimes, but ever since you had started seeing Taehyung, you had found that you didn’t mind all that much when they asked you questions. You only had to let your thoughts diverge towards the arms of the man sitting next to you and the annoyance disappeared.
But the word ‘pretend’ in his mouth sounded bitter. Sour, as if it had gone bad before leaving the confines of his beautiful mouth. Or maybe it was just the wariness that had been lurking at the back of your mind that suddenly grew stronger.
Taehyung was looking at you. With a small pout on his lips, an expectant look in his eyes. His cheeks were a little puffed up, and for a moment you wanted to reach out and pinch them. You resisted though, keeping one hand on the table and the other on Yeontan’s back. To calm the itch in your fingers, you scratched the dog, and your eyes moved away from Taehyung.
“For a dinner?” you asked.
Taehyung must have thought that meant yes, because a boxy smile made its way to his lips, making his whole face shine just like the world outside was shining. “Tonight, yeah. Jimin invited all of us over.”
“Tonight?” you repeated, eyes going round once again. “Tae, that gives me no time to get ready!”
He wet his lips, before glancing at you. “You look gorgeous, princess.”    
You couldn’t say no. You couldn’t say no to his sweet face and his sweet words. You were pretty sure he could get you to crawl in mud if he wanted to.
“Tae…” you trailed off, and a small pout formed on your lips.
He echoed it with one of his own, and he murmured your name with a low voice that sent a shiver down your spine. It reminded you of the way he whispered it against your skin whenever you were entwined, and really, you couldn’t say no at all.
“What do I get in exchange?” you asked, looking down at Yeontan as you pet him.
“I’ll let you go on a shopping spree with my card?”
The suggestion made a small laugh bubble in your chest. “Tae, I can pay for my clothes myself.”
You glanced at him, but his eyes were looking at the tteokbokki as he furrowed his brows, lost in thoughts. “I can buy you food?”
You rolled your eyes. “Why do you think I want a gift?”
“What else could I give you?”
Your heart felt strange in your chest again. You. For real. You wanted to say it, but something kept you from doing so. All you could do was shrug as you looked away. Until Yeontan moved under the palm of your hand.
“You could let me have Yeontan.”
Taehyung gasped. “My dog? Never.”
“Then don’t make me pretend to be your girlfriend.”
“Please?”
You rolled your eyes again, before offering him a small smile. “I’ll just steal Yeontan without you realizing. But I’ll go with you.”
He smiled brightly. “I’ll ignore the threat, but I won’t forget it.”
He planted a kiss on your cheek, before grabbing more tteokbokki. You followed his lead, watching his profile carefully. Until an idea popped up in your mind.
“You know what we should do?”
He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at you, chewing the tteokbokki as quickly as he could to swallow before it burned his mouth too much.
“What?”
A wicked smile grew on your lips. “We should get matching outfits.”
His eyes widened, lighting up with agreement. “Oh, they definitely would believe us then.”
You ignored the ache that formed in your heart at his words as you nodded your head.
“You’re a genius”, he complimented you.
Your wicked smile melted softly. “Doing my best.”
And as Taehyung offered you one of his iconic grins, you realized that you cared about him far more than you even thought possible. Because his happiness made you happy.
Dangerous grounds to tread for sure.
 *****
               Turned out Taehyung had everything in his wardrobe to match his outfit with yours after all. His pants matched your skirt perfectly, and his no-sleeves wool cardigan was similar enough to yours to give the right vibe. He also had a white polo-shirt, one that almost looked like a golf polo, that worked perfectly to complete his outfit. A black belt hugged his pants to his hips, and the smile on his lips matched yours just right.
The perfect picture of a happy couple.
The elevator leading to Jimin’s apartment felt crowded, with just you and Taehyung standing there. Your eyes had diverged to a stain on the carpet, and Taehyung watched your profile for a time as the elevator shot upwards.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
You chuckled breathlessly. “I’m anxious. I don’t know your friends. And what if Eunjin learns that I was here?”
“She won’t”, Taehyung reassured you. “She barely talks to the members. They’ll never connect the dots.”
You knew he was right. Because there was no way in hell Taehyung would have asked you if he had thought it might reach Eunjin’s ears. Still, your previous wariness hadn’t let go of you, and you were pretty sure you were about to step in the biggest mess you had ever stepped in.
“Plus”, Taehyung added, and he turned to face you and grab your hands. “They’ll love you, I’m sure of it.”
“It doesn’t really matter if they love me or not”, you pointed out. “I’m probably never going to see them again.”
Taehyung remained silent, though he tried to catch your gaze as you stubbornly kept it on the floor. Once he understood you weren’t going to look up, he grabbed your chin to force you to meet his gaze.
“Let’s not think about that right now, mmh?” he murmured as soon as your eyes locked together. “We have to put on a good show.”
You gulped, glancing down at the lips you had kissed far more often than you should have. They looked just as soft as ever, and they glistened a little from when he had wet them just a few seconds ago.
“I’m not an actress like you…”
“Just follow my lead”, he encouraged. “You’ll do great, princess, I’m not worried.”
And as the elevator dinged and the doors started sliding open, Taehyung leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips. It felt strange to be kissed by him somewhere else other than in your apartments, but your eyes immediately fell shut, and you let out a small sigh.
“Why am I not surprised?” a voice said from outside of the elevator.
You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, blush creeping on your cheeks. Kim Seokjin was standing outside the elevator, arm outstretched to keep the doors from closing shut.
“Hyung!” Taehyung let out happily. He introduced you, before pointing at the older man, eyes on you. “This is Kim Seokjin.”
“World-wide handsome”, Seokjin said as a way to introduce himself, a small smirk on his plump lips. “We almost thought you didn’t exist.”
You pursed your lips to keep in the nervous laugh that had almost fallen from your mouth. Because you actually didn’t exist, but they couldn’t know, right? “Nice to meet you.”
Seokjin chuckled. “Sorry, that was rude. Nice to meet you too, Y/n.”
An alarm started blaring in the elevator, startling you.
“I was on my way down to get some stuff Jimin forgot at the grocery store”, Seokjin said as he got in.
“We’ll come with”, Taehyung said, but it was useless, since the doors had already slid shut.
You were encased in silence, and your gaze slid to Taehyung. Seokjin stood between the two of you, with his face angled towards the floor. He looked sad, for a moment there, but when Taehyung asked him what he was supposed to get, the shadows lifted and his features lit up as he answered.
They talked for a time, and you tried to disappear through the carpet, not wanting to attract Seokjin’s attention. It was a failure because he glanced at you, offering you the whole of his focus. “How did you meet Taehyung?”
You really hadn’t planned this thing right, had you? Because you had no idea what to say. Taehyung looked at you, waiting for the lie you would craft, but nothing came to mind.
“Uh…” you let out, as your cheeks burned red. “We…” you paused, looking at Taehyung for salvation. He offered none, and you finally decided to settle on something that was as close to the truth as you dared to get. “We grew up together.”
“You’re from Daegu?” Seokjin asked, a soft smile on his lips.
You nodded. “My parents lived near Taehyung’s parents’ farm.”
Seokjin nodded, before starting to talk about his farmer uncle. You didn’t really have a chance to plug in a word, and Taehyung made sure to keep Seokjin going. Probably because that way he was off your back. And it worked, the grocery store trip being filled with stories Seokjin recalled about the farm, and eventually he moved on to stories about Taehyung in their trainee days.
Seokjin was funny. With an easy smile and an easier laugh that you found hard not to share. He was nice with you, and as you were riding the elevator back up to Jimin’s place, you found yourself more at ease. Still, you didn’t really know how to act around Taehyung, but you were pretty sure it didn’t really matter.
Some couples didn’t do a lot of public displays of affection, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dating, right?
Walking in Jimin’s apartment put you back to square one, as you saw most of the other members sprawled on the couches. Three girls were sitting with the members, and you could hear two women’s voices coming from what you could only assume was the kitchen, along with the unmistakable voice of Jeon Jungkook.
Most of all, every pair of eyes had turned to you, and you were pretty sure none of them were looking at Taehyung or Seokjin. No, it really felt as if you were the center of attention, and you hated it.
Until Taehyung stood closer to you, his large hand gently taking a hold of yours. He reassuringly brushed the back of your hand with his thumb, and you glanced at him. He had a soft smile on his lips when your gazes locked, but he quickly moved his attention to the group.
“Hey”, he simply said, and conversations immediately resumed, as if silence hadn’t been reigning a moment ago.
Hoseok, Namjoon and Jimin moved to you, hugging you as Taehyung did the introductions. Yoongi waved at you from his spot on the couch, and you waved back, eyes trailing to the girl at his side. She waved you over, and Taehyung tightened his hold on your hand before letting you go.
With cheeks burning, you moved towards the girl. She moved closer to Yoongi, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder so she could cuddle into his side. You sat in the spot she had left for you, next to another girl that offered you a bright smile as you glanced at her.
“I know this might be overwhelming”, she said secretively. “When Namjoon got me to meet all of them, I almost thought I was going to die from the anxiety.”
You could understand.
“But you fit right in!” Yoongi’s girlfriend happily said. “And I’m sure…” she trailed off and you figured out she was waiting for your name. You offered it to her with a shy voice. She repeated it, before continuing, “I’m sure you’ll fit right in too.”
You could only hope they didn’t notice your discomfort because you were caught in a lie. “Thank you”, you breathed, meeting Taehyung’s gaze from across the room.
At the looks Jimin and Hoseok threw at you, you could only assume they were talking about you. Taehyung offered you a reassuring nod of his head, along with a small smile he reserved just for you. Then Namjoon said something, and Taehyung looked away, forcing you to go back to the conversation around you.
The girls offered an easy conversation, one Yoongi participated in with ease. That most of all brought you back to the ease Seokjin had raised in you, and you even found yourself enjoying their company. Hoseok’s girlfriend was just as nice, though she didn’t stay long, claiming she had to help Jimin’s girlfriend, Jungkook and his own girlfriend in the kitchen. Seokjin followed her, which left you with the rest of them.
Soon enough, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon moved back with you, and conversation flowed easily in the group. Surprisingly enough, no one really asked you any questions about you and Taehyung. They all just joked around, and shots of soju were passed around the group.
Min Yoongi surprised you the most out of all of the members. For some reason, you had expected him to be shy and cold, but he was all smiles and excited, participating in the conversation with everyone, even leading it sometimes. He was cute, and his girlfriend looked at him with soft eyes that made you jealous, in some way.
Because even though you were looking at Taehyung like that, it was an act. It couldn’t be more than pretending. Indeed, he really had just asked for it to be for one dinner. Nothing more.
You could hope, though. Because he acted around you with ease. Holding you close, kissing the top of your head or holding your hand whenever he could. When he pulled you up to your feet as you were moving to the dining room, he even kissed you in front of everyone, holding you by the waist with his large hands. When he pulled away, you found yourself unable to hold his gaze, instead busying yourself with pulling invisible lint off his cardigan.
It didn’t go unnoticed to him. The way you avoided his gaze. You knew because his hands tightened on your waist, as if he could bring you back to your senses. But your heart was aching in your chest, as it had been throughout the day, whenever you remembered that it was all fake.
“Are you okay?” he asked, voice low just for you to hear.
The living room had emptied a moment ago, and you felt comfortable to speak up. “I can’t do this, Tae…”
He pursed his lips. “You’ve been doing great.”
“But I hate lying.” You looked up once, before quickly shying away from his gaze again. “They all look so happy for you.”
“Which means it’s working”, he pointed out.
A question took shape in your mind, and you shut your eyes tightly trying to avoid saying it.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, and he sounded a little exasperated.
“Why do you want this to be fake?” you enquired, and courage made its way to you, enough so that you met his gaze with a harsh look on your face. “I’ve been thinking about it all day and I don’t understand why you want to pretend.”
You wondered if he would answer truthfully. If he would finally let you see some part of the mystery that clouded him. Instead, he scoffed, looking over his shoulder.
“We can talk about it later.”
“Don’t dismiss me like that”, you said through gritted teeth.
“Y/n, Taehyung-oppa!” a female voice said from the hallway.
You tried to loosen the expression on your features as Jungkook’s girlfriend came into view. You didn’t know if you succeeded, but Taehyung’s cheerful tone as he told her you were on your way worked well enough, and the tattoo artist turned back on her heels.
“Now, let’s just pretend for a little longer and then we can talk”, Taehyung said to you, letting go of your waist.
“Please stop being so…” you trailed off, motioning between the two of you.
“So what?”
You met his gaze, letting out a long sigh. “Stop acting as if you’re in love.” And really, he wasn’t even acting all that different from what he usually acted like with you. It was pretty much the same, and that most of all was killing you. Because then it meant that the way he had carried himself in all those secret meetings meant nothing, even though you had been telling yourself the opposite for so long.
“How else can they believe me?”
“I don’t know, Tae, but I really don’t like it.”
He scoffed. “You’ve been a blushing and smiling mess, don’t tell me you don’t like it.”
“That’s exactly my point, Tae.”
You didn’t wait for him to say something else, instead moving around him to make your way to the dining room. You didn’t want to lose your cool, and you knew damn well a moment longer in that living room would have led to you bashing Taehyung’s perfect teeth in.
He was oblivious. Or you were just a game for him to play.
A game he had become a master at.
*****
                 Later that evening, you found yourself lingering at Jimin’s place, along with Jungkook and his girlfriend. Seokjin had left first – it was easy to know why. He was the only one that was unaccompanied, and that same sad look you had seen on his features in the elevator had come back frequently, as the evening had unfolded.
Whoever Kim Seokjin was longing for, they had broken his heart to pieces.
Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and their partners had all left since they had early plans the next morning. Unfortunately for you, you were off from work tomorrow too, and didn’t have any excuse to give everyone as to why you needed to leave. So you stayed, even if the atmosphere between you and Taehyung had turned cold after your conversation in the living room.
He had continued his act after, even though you had asked him not to. You were aware you probably looked like an angry girlfriend, so you had tried to relax. Had let him do what he thought he had to, but focused on the conversation with the other girls. Mostly Jungkook’s partner, as she had been the one sitting next to you.
The tattoo artist had bright eyes. They shone brighter whenever Jungkook was close to her, and sometimes you thought you saw stars in her eyes. Mostly, the celestial bodies were visible when she was gazing at the man she loved, and he echoed them with galaxies in his own gaze.
Another reminder to you that for all the feelings you had for Taehyung, you would never be allowed to look at him that same way. Because you were aware that the hurt and the anger were coming from feelings. Affection you had been trying to push back to the very back of your mind, but that had refused to be forgotten all throughout the day. It was easy to ignore it when it was just you and Taehyung but pretending around other people was wrong.
And a mistake through and through.
You were glad when Taehyung let you out of his sight, after most of everyone had left. Jimin’s girlfriend had to go back home to call her mother on Facetime, and the boys were currently in the living room, joking around as long-time friends usually did. That left you alone in the kitchen with Jungkook’s girlfriend, and she sat on one of the high stools at the island as you washed the dishes.
Taehyung had done most of it earlier, but the dessert dish had been forgotten on the stove, so you decided to busy yourself by taking care of it. Mostly because Jungkook’s girlfriend had been looking at you curiously, as if she knew the secrets you had been keeping.
“Something happened between you and Taehyung-oppa?” she asked.
You startled, glancing at her before shrugging your shoulders. “Happens sometimes, doesn’t it?”
She pursed your lips, before slowly nodding. “Yeah.”
An awkward silence moved between you, as you focused back on the dish.
“I…” she started, but she never finished the sentence.
You looked at her again, this time catching her gaze.
“We didn’t really fight”, you admitted.
The truth had come out so easily your eyes widened.
“I know.” She did. You could tell by the way a careful look moved on her features. “Taehyung told Jungkook.”
You sighed, gaze dropping to the floor. You grabbed a towel to dry your hands, before leaning against the counter, folding your arms on your chest. “What did he say?”
“That he was tired of being laughed at.” The girl looked away from you, as if she felt bad to be the one telling you. “He and Sanghee had a really complicated story, and the boys have been trying to get him to move on from her.”
You had no idea who Sanghee was. Some part of you thought to ask Eunjin, but you knew that wasn’t even a possibility. The only person you could ask was Taehyung, and you weren’t convinced you even wanted to speak to him right now.
“By laughing at him?” you asked.
Jungkook’s girlfriend chuckled. “Not really, no. Mostly, they kept telling him to put himself out there. To go out with the girls that ask him out and stuff like that. He kept refusing saying he didn’t need it, then said he was dating someone earlier today. Then he brought you here.”
You didn’t really know if Taehyung had told Jungkook you weren’t really dating. So you chose to remain silent, as Jungkook’s girlfriend looked down at her glass on the island in front of her.
“I think I’m only telling you because Jungkook and I had a similar situation”, she continued. She then seemed to think better of it, meeting your gaze. “Well, it wasn’t all that similar. But Jungkook’s ex almost came between the two of us…” She shrugged, pursing her lips. “But I think you should tell Taehyung how you feel.”
“We’re dating”, you lied.
Jungkook’s girlfriend cocked an eyebrow prettily, letting out a small laugh. “You are not.”
You almost wanted to be angry at her for pointing it out, but she offered you a kind smile that only made tears prick at your eyes. You turned away from her, resuming your work on cleaning the dishes.
“But you could be if you actually talked to him”, she added. “I have a hard time believing that everything he’s done today is an act.”
You found it hard to believe too, yet you knew it was the truth. Because you could feel that Taehyung had changed after your fight in the living room. Even if he still was clingy, he was cold.              
Kim Taehyung had never been cold to you before. No, ever since that night you had told him what you had, under the star-filled blanket of the night sky, Taehyung had always been warm when it came to you.
You were pretty sure it was coming to an end now.
“Taehyung is an enigma”, you pointed out. “He’s been that way since we were kids.”
Nothing interrupted the silence in the kitchen for a moment, except the sound of the water sloshing as you washed the dish through tears in your eyes. Jungkook’s girlfriend remained silent, so much so you almost thought she had left. But she seemed like the kind of girl that would stick up for someone else, and you were pretty sure she wouldn’t leave you alone right now.
It seemed you had judged her character well, because a second later she appeared at the corner of your vision. You glanced at her, and she offered you a gentle smile. “Jimin said he was going to take care of washing that.” She put a hand on your wrist, until you had let go and she could dry your hands with the hand towel. “Just talk to him”, she said gently. “It’s surprising what a good conversation can do.”
You raised your eyebrows, slightly shaking your head. “I think I dug the grave a while ago.”
“Why do you think that?” she asked as she put the towel back on the oven’s handle before looking at you again.
“He’s my best friend’s older brother”, you admitted. “I’ve known him forever.”
Jungkook’s girlfriend nodded, but didn’t say anything, letting you choose the rhythm at which you wanted to confide in her.
“Eunjin had a party in October, and it was my first time seeing Taehyung in years.” Images of the night came back to you: the beer pong, Taehyung holding your hand, the stars outside. How you had woken up in his bed the next day. “A few weeks later, he came to pick me up after I drank a little, we kissed and then we started…” you trailed off, as your cheeks burned red. “He’s my first. I don’t know why I chose him. Maybe because I used to have a crush on him, but…” You ran a shaky hand through your hair. “But he asked me to hide the whole thing from everyone. I did because I thought what we had was enough. But when he asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend tonight, it just felt wrong. It’s been feeling wrong.”
You finally fell silent, and Jungkook’s girlfriend waited a few seconds to make sure you were done before speaking, “This has been going on since October?”
“Well, more since November”, you said, nodding your head. “Why?”
She didn’t have time to speak before Taehyung appeared in the hallway leading to the living room.
“Hey”, he said, leaning against the wall.
Jungkook’s girlfriend kept her eyes on you, as if trying to tell you something. You couldn’t read the words behind her gaze though, and you eventually had to turn towards Taehyung.
“Hey”, you let out.
Jungkook’s girlfriend was pulling at some dry skin on her lower lip when she looked at Taehyung too. “Oppa.”
“Everything okay?” he asked, eyes focused on you.
It felt as if he was dismissing Jungkook’s girlfriend, and something about the way she stiffened next to you made you wonder what she had been about to tell you. What revelation her next sentence would have held had she had the time to tell you.
Instead, she only gently patted your shoulder, before walking away.
“Don’t hurt her”, she told Taehyung, one fist on her hip and a finger pointed at him aggressively.
Taehyung widened his gaze, but she was gone before he had time to reply.
“What’s wrong with her?” Taehyung asked as she disappeared. He pushed himself up from the wall, before taking a few steps towards you.
You shrugged. “I like her.”
“I usually like her, but she was weird tonight.”
Was she the only one that had been weird? Everything about the evening felt weird and wrong to you.
“Mmh”, you let out, turning away from Taehyung as he stopped next to you.
He murmured your name, hand shooting in the space between you… but he never touched you, letting his arm fall back at his side. “Do you want to go home?”
You nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah, I think it would be better.” You sighed, folding your arms on your chest again.
Taehyung leaned on the counter next to you, hands disappearing in his pockets. He watched you carefully, with that deep gaze of his. You couldn’t resist glancing at him, and your heart stopped in your chest at the look on his features.
He had no business looking at you like that when you were alone.
“I shouldn’t have asked this of you”, he said, voice barely above a whisper.
You gulped, immediately looking away. “It’s whatever, Tae.”
“I’m sorry I was an ass earlier”, he continued, ignoring your words.
It brought you back to the night of his birthday, when he had said he’d never be an ass when it came to you. Had he only said that to ensnare you further?
You had never thought Taehyung would be the kind of man to make promises he couldn’t hold.
“You weren’t an ass”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “You asked me something and I said yes. I’m the stupid one that let it get to my head.”
“But this didn’t start today, did it?”
“Can we talk about this at home?”
You met his gaze, holding it until Taehyung finally gave in, nodding his head. “Alright.”
You said goodbye to Jungkook and his girlfriend, in the living room, before moving towards the door. They walked you to the door, telling you that Jimin had gone to his girlfriend’s place across the hall, and that they’d say you had to go. Jungkook’s girlfriend hugged you before you left, whispering encouragement in your ear. You exchanged phone numbers, even as Taehyung seemed a little weary next to you, and soon enough you were on the way.
The elevator ride down to the underground parking lot was spent in a tense silence. So was the car ride, and you pulled at dry skin on your bottom lip so much you could almost taste the metallic tang of blood on your tongue.
It was only when you were standing in Taehyung’s hall that you finally turned towards him.
“Can I ask you a question?”
He tilted his head to the side, mouth parted just a little. Just enough for his tongue to dart out and wet his lips. “Yeah?”
“Who’s Sanghee?”
He immediately froze. One hand in one of his pockets, the other holding the sweater he had brought back from Jimin’s place – he had apparently forgotten it there last time he had gone.
“I knew Jungkook’s girlfriend was up to no good…”
He walked away from you, and you followed him to the living room. Surprisingly enough, Yeontan hadn’t woken up when you had walked in, and the dog blinked tiredly at Taehyung, getting up from the spot it had been sleeping in on the couch. Taehyung threw the sweater next to his dog before he picked him up, hugging him tight to his chest as he pressed a kiss to the top of the dog’s head.
“You know”, you said as he avoided your gaze, “you don’t have to talk to me about her if you don’t want to.” You looked around, surprisingly finding yourself memorizing Taehyung’s living room. “I just think it’s time we talk about what’s going on between us.”
He slowly nodded, and the motion caught your attention. “I realized earlier…” He chuckled, almost bitterly. “I hadn’t realized you were into me like that.”
You hadn’t really either. The way he said it sounded like an accusation, and you furrowed your brows. “It’s not really like I could control it. It just was too real.”
His lips were stretched in a thin line when you looked at him. “I didn’t realize…”
“So tonight was all pretend, right?” You waited till he nodded before you continued. “But what about all the times we hung out before? Was that all a lie too?”
“Why are you talking in the past tense?”
It was the first time he showed concern about whatever was between you. As if he was only now realizing that it was coming to an end.
“Because I can’t keep going on like this”, you admitted.
He sat down on the couch, and his eyes fell to Yeontan in his arms. The small dog was looking at you, tongue on the side of his mouth, head cocked to the side. You wanted to get closer and snuggle him, but for the first time in months, you didn’t want to get closer to Kim Taehyung.
“Understood”, he said, nodding curtly.
“That’s all you’re going to say?”
He focused on Yeontan on his lap, hiding his features behind his hair. “I don’t know what to tell you. You asked me to teach you about…” he trailed off, as if he didn’t want to say the words. “We never talked about feelings.”
Tears were pricking at your eyes. “So it’s just me?”
He didn’t say anything. Only pet Yeontan as the dog watched you carefully. You wondered if he could hear your heart breaking in your chest. Slowly at first, and all at once when Taehyung met your gaze.
His eyes held finality. Like the last line of your favourite song.
“What did Jungkook’s girlfriend say about Sanghee?” he asked.
You thought your blood had turned cold in your veins, and you felt an icy sheen of sweat forming on every inch of your body. “Just her name.”
Taehyung didn’t speak for a time. “She’s an ex”, he admitted. He put Yeontan beside him, and the dog made itself at home right next to him. “We dated for a few months, but…”
You clenched your teeth, waiting for what was to come next.
“When we broke up we kept seeing each other”, he continued. “Purely physical. That’s why the guys wanted me to meet someone else.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, but somehow these were the last words he spoke for a long time.
So long you figured he wasn’t going to say anything else.
“When did you stop seeing her?” you asked, with a wavering voice that made you feel weak.
You thought you already knew, but you wanted to hear it from him. Needed to hear it from him, no matter how much it might hurt.
“It…” he trailed off. “We haven’t really stopped seeing each other.”
You had been a fool to think your heart had broken earlier. Because now it was falling, heading straight to hell, and it tore your chest open. Bled you dry, as your lungs burned. Oxygen made it worse, feeding the fire until every inch of you was burning with heartbreak.
All Taehyung did was look at you. Look at you with the stupid dark gaze that had made you fall for him all those years ago, and once again these few months ago. He looked apologetic, sorry, as if he was a child that had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.
Worse, he looked like someone that had been caught cheating. But it wasn’t really cheating, was it? You hadn’t been dating. Had only been seeing each other for sex. Yes, Taehyung was a respectful man, and had never forced you to do anything if you didn’t feel like it. But you had imagined it to be more, to be him caring for you the same way you cared for him.
You had been delusional to think Kim Taehyung would care about someone else than himself.
After a little eternity, of unsaid words and unrequited feelings, you chose to go. To let him go, and to do what was the good thing for you. Preservation, maybe, even if every single part of you wanted to cross the distance between you and lose yourself in him again. Because maybe then you wouldn’t be hurting so much. Maybe then you could pretend the last few hours had never happened. Had only been a product of your imagination, a nightmare brought to life.
But nightmares were real, and it was time your feet found ground again. Ground and reality, where you could go back to living your life without the sins Kim Taehyung brought to it.
So, you looked away from him and you turned around, making your way towards the door.
“Wait, Y/n”, he said.
You didn’t stop, but he was quicker than you. Maybe because you were weak, and you didn’t really have the strength to walk away. Maybe because you cared too much, and it was slowing you down. He grabbed your wrist, turning you around and pulling you into his arms.
“I don’t want you to leave crying”, he said, wrapping his arms around your shaking frame.
Because you were crying now, sobbing with your face hidden in his chest. He gently ran a soothing hand on your back. And you wanted to curse him for it, to push him away until his heart broke too. He didn’t get to be the one to comfort you. Yet you couldn’t pull away, wanting to enjoy these last moments in the warmth of his arms.
“I really didn’t realize you cared for me like that”, he said softly. “I’m so sorry.”
It made you understand one thing: Taehyung didn’t feel for you the way you felt for him. You had been stupid to think everything would be alright. He had always been meant to break your heart.
Maybe he should have stayed a ghost in your life after all.
“You…” Taehyung started, but his voice caught in his throat.
“What the fuck is going on?”
You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, for what seemed like the hundredth time today. As if you had never been meant to be in his arms in the end. Now you knew that was true. You quickly wiped your cheeks dry, and almost wished you hadn’t when your vision cleared up.
Cleared up to reveal a red-faced Eunjin, with a plastic bag seemingly holding containers.
“What the fuck is going on?” she repeated.
“Why did you just come in like that at this time of the night?” Taehyung asked in the same reproachful tone your best friend had used.
Her eyes moved between you and her brother a couple of times before they settled on you. “Y/n, please tell me this is not what I think it is.”
“Eunjin”, Taehyung said with a stern voice. “It’s none of your business.”
“Something’s going on between the two of you and you didn’t think to tell me?” Eunjin’s voice had gone a little higher.
“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked again.
She slowly shook her head, before putting down the bag she was holding. “Eoma asked me to bring you some side dishes and I didn’t have space in my fridge so I thought I’d drop it off.”
“You can’t just come unannounced.”
“You can’t just fuck my best friend.”
“Eunjin!” you burst out. “Whatever was between us is over.” It made Taehyung tense next to you, but he knew it just as well as you did. Wasn’t it what he wanted?
Eunjin only then realized the tears you had failed at drying. Or maybe your eyes had gone bloodshot, as they tended to do whenever you cried. “Y/n…”
“And now I’m going to go home”, you added and you continued moving towards the door.
Eunjin quickly fell into step with you. “I’m going to kill him.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “Oh he is fucking dead.” This time she scoffed. “I can’t believe he would hurt you.”
“What makes you think he hurt me?” you said as you stopped at the door to put your shoes on.
“I know my brother”, she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s the only thing he knows how to do.”
You were almost offended by what she implied. You looked behind, hoping Taehyung would be there to defend himself, but he hadn’t followed you. It hurt and burned, and you wished you could go back to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. But you couldn’t. Especially not now that Eunjin was next to you.
“The only thing he cares about is himself”, Eunjin continued, and you hated that you had yourself thought so just a moment ago. “He uses people and drops them when he doesn’t need them anymore.”
The look you threw her finally made her shut up. She offered you an apologetic smile, but you ignored it as you stepped out.
“Let me drive you home”, Eunjin gently said once you were outside.
You nodded, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall again. Eunjin noticed, and she grabbed your hand reassuringly.
“I can’t believe I lied to you all this time”, you said, brushing the tears that had spilled on your cheek.
Knowing Eunjin and the grudges she could hold, you could only hope she wouldn’t hold this one. “You know what? I suspected it. During the Holidays. But I wanted you to tell me yourself and then I just thought it was all in my head.”
You chuckled sadly. “Wasn’t in your head.”
“Unfortunately”, she grumbled, looking behind her. “But let’s not talk about it tonight.”
“Aren’t you working tomorrow?” you asked with a small voice.
She shook her head no. “This is an emergency, work can wait.”
This time, you really couldn’t stop the tears that rolled on your cheeks.
“Oh Y/n”, she said, pulling you in her embrace. “I’m so sorry.”
You were tired of Kim siblings apologizing today, but Eunjin’s arms felt a lot more reassuring than Taehyung’s had felt just a moment ago. Strangely enough, just like a moment ago, this hug was interrupted by a Kim sibling, one you really didn’t want to see at the moment.
“Y/n”, Taehyung called from the door to his building.
Eunjin turned on her heels so quickly it almost made you fall. “You go back inside”, she said, motioning to the building. “You don’t get to hurt her and then pretend nothing happened.”
“Eunjin”, Taehyung said carefully. “I just want to talk.”
“Not today, oppa.”
She had her fists on her hips, standing her ground in front of her older brother. It was all for you, and it made a small laugh fall from your lips.
The two siblings threw you a surprised look, and when you met Taehyung’s gaze your heart constricted in your chest, reminding you of the reality of heartbreak.
“What do you want, Tae?”
You had barely spoken over a whisper, but you could see him gulp in the distance. “I just want to talk”, he repeated. “Just to explain myself.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re important to me”, he said. “I can’t just let you go like that.”
“Maybe you should have decided that before breaking her heart, asshole”, Eunjin grumbled.
“Eunjin”, you said in the same scolding tone she had just used.
She rolled her eyes, folding her arms on her chest. “Don’t make me angry at you too.”
You slowly nodded, before turning towards Taehyung again. He looked pale. As if all the honey in his skin had drained, leaving only a pale shade behind. A ghost of what you knew he truly looked like. He almost looked as if this was hurting him as much as it was hurting you, and it made you want to hate him.
But you didn’t really have it in you to hate Kim Taehyung. No matter how broken and jagged the pieces of your heart felt.
“Listen, Tae”, you breathed, and you blinked away tears – who knew you were such a crier when it came to men? “I don’t really want to talk right now.”
“But…”
“Not today, Tae”, you said, echoing Eunjin’s previous words. “I’m tired, and I want to go home.”
He ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. It made them stand on his head, and he looked somehow desperate. As if letting you go was taking its toll on him.
A little dirty part of you was satisfied at the thought that he felt bad too.
“Okay”, he let out. He shut his eyes, cocking his head to the side. “Just call me when you want to talk.”
“I will.” It was a promise, more than you wanted to give him. But the part of you that cared for him really hated that he looked hurt. Deeply, just like you were.
Why would he have run after you if he didn’t care?
It was a treacherous thought to have, and there was so much to discuss between the two of you. Feelings you had ignored so well you hadn’t even realized they were there until it was too late. Stuff he had hidden from you, or that you had never thought to ask. That you had never thought you needed to ask. You had thought what you had with him was real, in some way. Had convinced yourself so well, you had never even seen the signs that it might not be.
Was she why he hadn’t sought to see you more often? The question was poison to your bleeding heart, and you pushed it away. You would have plenty of time to think about it tomorrow, or the day after that. For now, you needed to focus on mending the broken pieces of your heart, in Eunjin’s company. Someone you never should have lied to in the first place. After all, maybe she would have been able to save you the broken heart.
But maybes weren’t going to fix the situation, weren’t they?
 *****
                 Heartbreak did a strange thing to the world. It made it seem colourless, as if the colours had leeched from your surroundings the same way the happiness had disappeared. Everything was meek, shining in shades of a morose gray to which melancholy clung. Sleep evaded you most nights, and you spent the darkest hours rethinking the events.
Wondering where it all went wrong. What you did wrong for him to keep seeing her. Were you bad in bed? For all his praise, had he only been lying to you?
All the questions spun in your head relentlessly. You were aware that it was toxic to think about it, but Taehyung was your first heartbreak. You didn’t really know how to act, and exhaustion was clinging to you.
It had been a week since you had left Taehyung’s place. He had watched you leave, and hadn’t Eunjin been by your side you probably would have run back to him. Instead, you had only looked at him while Eunjin had been driving away, and Taehyung’s broken eyes had made you burst out crying again.
You were glad for Eunjin. She had been picking up your pieces, slowly but surely. Spending as much time with you as she could. It made you feel weak, but this was your first broken heart. You didn’t really know how to heal it, and having your best friend by your side helped.
Especially since you didn’t have to lie to her anymore. You could tell she was disappointed, that you had kept everything silent, but still she was by your side, never pushing you to talk.
She hadn’t really needed to anyway. You had told her everything the next day, even if some parts had clearly made her uncomfortable considering Taehyung was her older brother. Even through all the wincing, she had held your hand, and when you had cried, she had dried your tears. Somehow, you hadn’t been able to talk about Sanghee though. The subject hurt too much, and you had chosen to wait. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway.
You were currently lying in bed. Eunjin was next to you, scrolling on her phone. Your own cell phone had been foreign to you since last week. Mostly because Taehyung had texted you the next day to ask when you wanted to talk. Eunjin had been the one to tell him you needed more time, and ever since then your phone had been silent.
The silence was like a colourless world. Morose, melancholic, and it made everything ache a little more. Because there were reminders of Taehyung everywhere, in this world. The perks of getting your heart broken by someone famous.
You sighed, running a hand on your face.
“Everything okay?” Eunjin quickly asked, concern laced with her voice.
Your hand stalled on your face for a few seconds before you let it slide to the bed as you nodded slightly. “Just feel lonely.”
It wasn’t your first time telling her that. “I’m right here.”
“I know.”
You let out a small bitter chuckle, because she knew just as well as you that the person you wanted to see was Taehyung, and not her. Even if you loved Eunjin deeply, she wasn’t her brother.
“Do you think I should talk to him today?” you asked, turning your head towards her.
She was already looking at you, with a somber expression on her features. “Do you feel ready to talk to him?”
All week you had told her no. But for some reason, your first instinct wasn’t to say no today. It wasn’t like you wanted to wait forever; if Taehyung had something to tell you, you wanted to hear it now. Not when talking to him would reopen the wounds.
You needed to truly put him in the past if you wanted to move on from him. A conversation would offer closure, and hopefully then it wouldn’t hurt as bad.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready”, you admitted. “I just want to get it over with.”
Eunjin’s features reminded you of Taehyung. The slight pout of her lips, her eyebrows raised just a little over her eyes… she looked a little too much like him.
It made you look away, and your gaze moved back to the ceiling.
“I get it, honestly”, Eunjin said after a few more seconds of silence. “Do you want me to text him to come over?”
“Uh”, you let out, before letting out a small laugh. “While you’re here?”
Eunjin nudged you with an elbow. “As much as I’d like to murder him, I think it’s a conversation you need to have with him alone.”
“Yeah”, you agreed. “That’s what I think too.” You paused, letting out another longing sigh. “I can text him myself though.”
Eunjin sat up, and her heavy gaze on you couldn’t be avoided anymore. “I’ll keep my phone close. If you need me, you call.”
You followed her, sitting up next to her. “I will, I promise.”
She slowly nodded, before glancing at the door of your apartment. As she remained silent, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table. It felt strange in your hands, as if thinking that you were about to text Taehyung was giving you a little life again.
It wasn’t all that much that you missed him. It was more of a relief, knowing that the pain was finally coming to an end. Or to whatever end a conversation with Taehyung could lead to.
You had talked to Jungkook’s girlfriend this week. She had been sweet and had offered to meet up for coffee sometime. You had agreed, and you were set to grab coffee with her next week. It showed you one thing: even if Taehyung might be about to get out of your life, there were still other people, new people that you would meet.
Your phone scanned your features, before opening to your home screen. You sighed, clicking on the text message app. It took everything in you to open the conversation with Taehyung, and you looked up to Eunjin as the conversation appeared on the screen.
“Gosh”, you let out.
She offered you an encouraging smile. “It’s going to be okay”, she reassured you. “Taehyung is an ass, but he’s willing to talk. That’s more than I’ve ever seen him do for someone before.”
You hated the seed of hope that it planted in you, but a foolish, stupid part of you clung to it. You needed hope after all the pain. But you tried to tame the hope, to push it away. Taehyung had been seeing someone else. All that time you had imagined to be special between the two of you, he had had someone else in his life.
You weren’t sure it was something you could ever forgive him for, but you were willing to listen to him. Maybe because you had known him for most of your life, and you owed him as much. Though you weren’t sure he deserved it, after all he had done.
His explanations needed to be good.
“Did he tell you about Sanghee?” you asked her.
You had avoided her mention ever since you had left Taehyung’s place, but you needed to know. Whatever Eunjin might tell you… because some part of you didn’t even believe Taehyung would tell you everything.
“Sanghee? He told you about her?” She looked genuinely surprised.
You shook your head no. “Not really. He just mentioned her because Jungkook’s girlfriend talked to me about her.”
“They were dating last year”, Eunjin said. “Sanghee was just in the picture for his money and fame. Taehyung broke up with her when he realized.”
“Did he tell you that he kept seeing her after that?”
Eunjin’s face was unreadable for a time. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” She looked sorry. Apologetic, at having to tell you that. Because she was your best friend: you knew she wished she could tell you that Taehyung was just rainbows and butterflies. She knew him better than anyone else though, and she wasn’t a liar.
You knew she would never lie to you.
“He told me he did”, you admitted. “That’s mostly why I ended things between us.”
It hadn’t really been the only cause. Because you still were ashamed to say you had fallen in love with him while he had only cared for you for sex. You had already told her enough about your story with Taehyung, and you didn’t want to explore it further with her.
It was something that was yours and his. You didn’t want to share it with his sister too.
“You know what?” Eunjin let out. “For someone that never dated anyone, you really know your worth.”
You furrowed your brows. “I let him string me along for months.”
Eunjin cocked her head to the side, her lips stretched in a white line. “You still ended things with him. The only other person that was able to break up with him was his first girlfriend.”
You remembered her, a little. Just that she had been in the picture. You had never really met her, but you knew losing her had broken Taehyung’s heart. It had been years ago, sometime around when you and Taehyung had stopped talking to you.
“Go me”, you said weakly, and Eunjin let out a small laugh.
“Go you”, she agreed. She threw her arms around you, hugging you tight. You hugged her back, nuzzling your face in her neck. “I still want to kill him for hurting you though.”
“I might kill him myself”, you mumbled.
She laughed again, a clear laugh that did wonders to your broken heart. “You should. Teach him a lesson. It’s time he stops being an asshole.”
You weren’t really sure you would have such an impact on Kim Taehyung. Even if you had known him before he became all that he now was, you were nothing compared to him.
You pushed the insecurity away. You weren’t nothing. You were your own person, and the fact you weren’t a celebrity like him meant nothing. In fact, you were glad for it. You didn’t envy his famous status, and the scrutiny under which he was forced to live his life. Maybe he would have turned out differently, hadn’t it been for all of that.
“Now, tell him to come over”, Eunjin said as she pulled away, still holding you by the shoulders.
You nodded, and you glanced down at your phone. The screen had turned dark, and this time when it scanned your features and opened, it opened right on the conversation with Taehyung. You quickly typed a message, something simple, because you weren’t quite convinced you would still have the courage to invite him over to talk if you wrote more than a sentence.
You watched the message go from sent to delivered, and then you met Eunjin’s gaze again. “Done.”
She smiled at you. “Good. Now I’m going to get a baseball bat in case…”
“Eunjin-ie!” you exclaimed, pushing her away. “You’re the one that told me to invite him over.”
Her smile turned devilish. “I’m just saying I really want to beat some sense into him.”
“I’ll do it myself, I told you”, you grumbled.
Before she replied, Taehyung sent a message back, saying that he was on his way. You worried at your bottom lip, putting your phone away.
“So?”
“He’s on his way”, you told Eunjin.
“Damn, this is not my brother”, she whispered. She shook her head, widening her eyes in surprise before glancing at the door.
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged sheepishly. “He doesn’t act like that with girls. And I really hope he’s not only doing this because you are my friend.”
You could imagine that he would. Family was important to Taehyung, far more than it was to most people nowadays. If talking to you could preserve his relationship with Eunjin, you were pretty sure he would. But Eunjin had been entirely loyal to you, ever since last week. She had told you she had ignored his calls, and that she would until everything was settled between the two of you. And for all her complaining, you knew Eunjin cared about Taehyung just as much as he cared about her.
No matter the outcome of your conversation today, you knew she would still remain just as close to him as she’d always been. You couldn’t blame her for it, he was her older brother after all.
Eunjin left a few minutes later. Hugging you tight to her chest, telling you once again to call or text if you needed to. You reassured her, telling her that you were strong enough to do this yourself, but as you watched her disappear, you fought an unexpected wave of tears. You blinked them away, cursing Taehyung under your breath, before moving to your couch.
Where this whole thing had started in the first place. You sighed deeply, wishing you could go back in time to erase what had happened here all those months ago. But as you waited for Taehyung, you tried to think about something else. About anything that wouldn’t make your mood fall lower than it already was. You didn’t want him to know just how bad you had been doing.
Taehyung arrived a while later. For some reason, you had expected him to get to your place in no time, but it took him almost an hour. When he knocked on your door, you paused the drama you had put on as background noise, taking a deep breath to collect the little courage that you still had.
You got up from the couch, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip as you slowly walked to the door. Slowly, because you dreaded the moment you’d open it and you’d be forced to gaze at his handsome features.
Your hand was on the knob when he knocked again, and it made you jump a little. You took another shuddering breath in, and then you turned the doorknob.
The sight of Taehyung wasn’t what you had expected it would be. His hair was ruffled, untamed, and he was plainly dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt. His eyes avoided yours, but you immediately noticed the dark circles that painted them, making him look dreadful.
Taehyung looked just as exhausted as you felt.
A little yelp attracted your attention, and your eyes fell to the floor. Yeontan was looking up at you, and as soon as you noticed him, he ran to you, begging to be picked up.
“Hey you”, you let out, surprised to see him there. You bent down, scratching the dog’s head. Knowing you couldn’t avoid it any longer, you looked up at Taehyung.
He finally met your gaze. “Hey.” His voice was small. Deep, deeper than the ocean, but it sounded empty. Void of the warmth it usually carried.
Whatever remained of your heart in your chest constricted, aching more than you had even expected it could. You had to gulp down a sudden lump in your throat, and you picked Yeontan up to busy yourself. To give yourself an excuse to look away.
“Why did you bring Yeontan?” you asked once you were standing, the leash hanging between you and him.
He shrugged. “I thought you might want to see him.”
You looked at him for a few seconds, before turning towards your apartment. “Come in.”
He followed you in, letting the leash go so he could take off his shoes. You brought Yeontan in, putting him down on the carpet next to your couch.
“Animals aren’t allowed here”, you said, and you dug your hands in the back pockets of your jeans so Taehyung wouldn’t notice they were shaking a little.
He shrugged. “If they complain I’ll buy the building.”
You cocked an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side. “That’s a bit excessive.”
He shrugged again, before walking in. He had put on the slippers you had gotten especially for him. They were BTS slippers, and you had gotten them as a joke in January.
You smiled a little at the memory, but froze as he moved closer to you.
“I don’t care.” He stopped about a meter and a half away from you, and the distance had never felt so wide. “Just a peace offering.”
You pursed your lips, slowly nodding your head. Yeontan barked, and a small smile broke on your mouth as you bent down to pet him again.
You didn’t see it, but Taehyung looked at your smile as if it was an oasis in the middle of the desert.
“You’re lucky I love him”, you said with a tiny voice.
Taehyung stayed silent, and you just played with the dog for a time. Mostly because you wanted to avoid the conversation. As much as you needed to talk to him, or to hear what he wanted to say, you also dreaded the end of whatever it was that you and Taehyung had shared.
But you couldn’t push the moment away for far longer. Soon enough, you had to stand up straight, and face whatever Taehyung had to say.
You schooled your features into neutrality, hoping he wouldn’t see the ache behind your eyes before finally straightening and meeting his gaze.
His dark gaze looked similar to what you were used to, but something was missing. The spark that it had held before was gone. It made Taehyung look infinitely sad. You hated it, and you clenched your jaw.
“Do you want to sit?” he asked.
You hadn’t expected it. You looked at your couch, remembering everything that had ever happened there. You shook the memories away, before sitting. Yeontan jumped on the floor, begging to be put on the couch too. You couldn’t help but laugh a little, before giving in to the dog’s desire. He let out a small bark, as Taehyung sat on the other extremity of the couch.
He had the ghost of a smile on his lips, and you quickly looked away at the sight of it.
You sat in silence for a while. Not knowing where to start, not wanting to be the first one to talk. You wanted him to talk first, to tell you whatever he had run out in the night to tell you the other day. But Taehyung seemed to be struggling to find words to say. You’d let him have all the time he needed before he collected his thoughts.
“How have you been doing?” he asked.
It took you by surprise, to hear him asking that first. You wet your lips, shrugging. “I don’t think you’re here to talk about that, Tae.”
He was looking at the floor, and a glance at him showed you the way his shoulders seemed to fall forward, making him look defeated. And maybe he was, after everything.
“Sorry”, he apologized. “I just… I don’t even know where to start.”
You worried at your bottom lip. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you wanted to say last week?”
He shrugged, and there was another long silence.
“Sanghee means nothing”, he finally said. “She never really did.”
You breathed in and out once, shakily. “But you never stopped seeing her.”
“It was entirely just physical. And it didn’t even happen a lot. She called sometimes and I just went because I was bored. I have and had no interest in her ever, if I’m honest.” He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I called her at the beginning of the week to end things with her. It was stupid that I was still seeing her”, he scoffed. “I hate that I had to hurt you to realize that, but she never even mattered.”
He fell silent, and you just watched his profile for a time. Yeontan had crossed the distance to Taehyung, perhaps sensing that his dad needed him.
“It just feels…” you trailed off. The beginning of the sentence had been accusative, and you took a deep breath to calm down. “It makes me feel like I wasn’t enough. Or not good enough.”
“Trust me”, Taehyung said, finally meeting your gaze. “It has nothing to do with that at all. I just…” He glanced down at your hands. You were wriggling your fingers, anxiously, and he looked so full of hate for himself for a time… It made him look ugly. “I can’t really justify my actions. Because they have no reasons. She asked and I didn’t really care so I went. But…” He paused, wetting his lips, searching your features for a few seconds. “It never felt with her the way it felt with you.”
“What is it supposed to mean?” you asked with a weak voice you wanted to hate yourself for.
He looked down at Yeontan as the little dog struggled to climb on his lap. “That if all the times with her could have been with you, then I would have had them with you.”
Your eyes were sad when he looked at you again. But they held no tears, and you weren’t sure you would be crying more tears for him. You had cried enough.
“You could have had them with me, Tae…”
He shut his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “I know. I realize that now. I just always thought… because of Eunjin I just…”
He was at a loss for words. That much was clear. And you didn’t know what to do to help him.
“Do you want a glass of water?” you asked as he searched for words.
His eyes fell open, and a crease appeared between his brows. “What?”
“Do you want a glass of water?”
He looked at you with an unreadable expression for a time. “Uh yes, please.”
You nodded, getting up from your spot on the couch to walk the short distance to the kitchen. You could feel the weight of Taehyung’s gaze on your back, but you didn’t look back. Instead, you focused on pouring the water from your water filter pitcher in a glass. Once the glass was full and you had no excuse left, you turned around and walked back towards Taehyung.
He looked at a random spot on your wrist as you handed him the glass. He carefully took it, and your fingers touched for a moment. You hated that it made you want to reach out and grab his hand.
He said your name, his voice barely even audible to you. “Thank you.”
You nodded your head, offering him a small smile, before you moved back to your own spot on the couch. You settled yourself comfortably, sitting angled towards Taehyung. He noticed, and he also turned his chest towards you, resting his shoulder against the couch before taking a long sip of water.
“I thought that because of Eunjin, you would never really be interested in me”, he said once he had swallowed. “And I fully understand how stupid that is, I was an oblivious ass. Or maybe it was me and I didn’t want to think about anything more happening between us…” He trailed off, and he let out a little broken chuckle that made every inch of your body ache. “But the day of my birthday. Fuck, I wanted to hate you after. But I couldn’t and I kept coming back.”
“What?” you let out.
He wet his lips, and he searched your features for a couple of seconds. “You know, when I was younger, I always imagined myself getting married. And now, when I look at myself in the future, I see myself with someone like you. Someone that knows me from before, someone that cares for me for the person that I was back then. I think that’s why I was attracted to you in the first place.”
You were stunned for a moment, unexpecting the words that were spilling from his mouth now. And he didn’t seem like he could stop anymore, as if the glass of water had helped him to finally find the words he had been wanting to say earlier.
He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Scratch that”, he added. “I don’t see myself with someone like you. I see myself with you. With you by my side, raising my children with me. I think you’re the only one that can understand why I want five children. Because there was the five of us growing up and it was perfect. You’re the only one that I can imagine sharing my life with that way.”
“Tae”, you let out. “You can’t just say all of that.”
It stopped the words falling from his mouth. Yet his lips remained parted, and you could almost hear the echo of his voice in your skull.
He was pale. He had been pale last week, but he looked even worse today. As if he hadn’t seen the sun in a while, and hadn’t eaten well since then either. He looked crestfallen, and all the fight that you had seen in him for the last few minutes drained out of him, leaving but an empty husk of him behind.
“I was falling for you”, you said carefully. “I fell for you once when we were younger, and then all these months… it was like my teenage dreams coming to reality. And it makes me uncomfortable that all along there was someone else…” You pursed your lips, searching for words, a little like he had been a moment ago. “Was there anyone else, other than Sanghee?”
You hadn’t expected the question. Clearly he hadn’t either, because his eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. “Never. Not even once. And you have to trust me, Sanghee means nothing to me. It really was just physical. Maybe I agreed to meet with her because I kept telling myself I couldn’t be with you. Because of Eunjin, and because of who we were to each other.”
Somehow it really didn’t make you feel better. But at the same time… he wanted to be with you. He imagined himself with you in the future, like you had been imagining yourself with him. Even if you refused to admit it to yourself, you had chosen Taehyung because, to you, there was never going to be someone else than him. It had been him once, and it would always be him.
You were weak for Kim Taehyung. Had been before you had even known what it meant.
“Where does that put us though?” you questioned. “You were acting weird with me, Tae. All these months. I never could have imagined there was someone else.”
“I know.” The look of defeat on him only worsened. “I can’t show you how I was with her because I’d never treat you like that.” He scoffed. “You could talk to Jungkook. I think it’s the first time in my life he actually was angry at me. But his girlfriend… She really likes you. She told me I was a disgusting prick and that I didn’t deserve you. She said I was stringing you along…” There was silver lining his gaze now. “I never meant to string you along. I didn’t realize that I was stringing you along until I understood how oblivious I’ve been.”
You would need to tell the girl you loved her. As soon as you could. Because having her stick up for you meant more than you could ever say.
“I wasn’t all that better”, you said.
It was true. You also had avoided talking to him about how you felt. Had avoided even thinking about it as much as you could. Funnily enough, it had never been about Eunjin to you. But you could understand why it had been that way to him. Eunjin was his little sister, someone he had taken care of. He would have never done anything that could put a wedge in his relationship with her.
Except he had, and that thing was you.
“I didn’t talk to you either”, you said. “I mean.” You let out a small anxious laugh. “I didn’t want to talk to you about how I felt, because I refused to even admit it to myself. But at Jimin’s dinner, I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. The more you showed me affection, the more I felt myself sinking.”
You fell silent and he just observed you for a time, with that deep dark gaze of his.
“I can’t really blame you”, he finally said. “Yes, I could see that we both have faults in this. But…” He slowly shook his head again. “Princess, I was using you.”
“Were you?” you enquired, and your heart beat quicker in your chest. “Were you using me, Tae?”
There really were tears in his eyes. It made his gaze dim, with sadness and melancholy. “No. I wanted to see you. If I used someone, it was Sanghee. Never you. I actually enjoyed spending time with you. You remind me of a simpler time.” He wet his lips. “I really like the time we spent together.”
“I liked it too.” You could admit that.
He held your gaze. “I am so sorry.”
He truly looked sorry. In all truth, he looked like a beaten puppy. Even with Yeontan cuddling by his side, Taehyung looked like a little lost boy. He was clutching the glass of water – he had only drunk a couple of sips, and the glass was still half full. You wanted to reach between you, to run a hand through his hair soothingly…
“What for?” you asked.
He laughed bitterly. “For everything. I was everything I don’t like about me with you. And I regret it.”
Could you forgive him? You really wanted to. You wanted to forget everything had happened, but you didn’t think you had it in you.
You still were aching, imagining him in the arms of someone else.
The silence stretched between you. You didn’t know what to say, and clearly he had told you everything. He sighed, and it left his nose shakily, as if he was on the verge of breaking. Yet you could tell he already had broken, much like you had.
It was surprising to think that you had broken Kim Taehyung too. Or maybe he had done that all by myself, breaking his heart as he tore yours from your chest.
“It’s okay”, you let out. “Thank you for telling me.”
There was a dismissal in your words. He heard it just as clear as you did. He ran a shaky hand on Yeontan, who let out a small sad sound.
“Thank you for listening.” He shut his eyes once more, the perfect picture of the fallen angel. You had thought him to be a devil once. You now knew that devils ached too. Had fallen just like everyone else. “You know”, he said, and his deep voice sounded oh so tired. “Watching you walk away the other day… it felt like I was dying. It made me realize that I care for you far more than I wanted to admit it to myself. And I’m aware that I took you for granted. I won’t ask you to be mine, because it feels unfair after what happened. I just…”
He trailed off, and his gaze met yours again. He wanted you to read the words in his eyes, but you needed to hear them.
“You just what?”
“I just want you to know that, wherever you go in this world, I will always be loving you.”
A tear slipped on your cheek, free falling, the same way you were free falling. Heading straight to the ground, yet…
Yet you didn’t reach it this time.
“Tae…”
“I’m crazy for you.” He said it like he had a hard time believing it himself. “I really am. I’m sorry I fucked everything up.”
You let his words sink in for a time. It wasn’t his first time telling you he was crazy for you. He had said so, on his birthday, when he had come to talk to you in his father’s office. You hadn’t thought his words had meant more than his sexual attraction to you. But you saw it in his eyes now. You saw the way they shone in the light. With emotion and intensity and regret. So much regret.
“Tae”, you repeated. “Do you…” You searched for the right words for a time. “Do you really think all of that?”
“Yes”, he said without a beat of silence. “It took me losing you to realize it. But yes, you matter to me. A hell of a lot.”
You tilted your head to the side. “You like me?”
He looked infinitely confused, with a crease between his perfect eyebrows, and a strand of hair falling in his eyes. “I just told you I’m in love with you?”
“Say it again.”
He understood. Quite at the same time as you did.
You weren’t going to let him go. You couldn’t let him go.
“Y/n…”
“Say it again.”
“I love you, princess”, he said, and he let out a small chuckle. A tear escaped the jail of his eyelids, rolling on his cheek until it fell on Yeontan’s head.
You folded your arms on your chest, then thought better of it and you hid your face in your hands, as a small broken sob shook your frame.
“No”, Taehyung let out.
It took a few seconds, but then he was taking you in his arms, crushing you against his chest. You laughed, sadly, as tears just cascaded on your cheeks. Taehyung was shaking, as if he was cold, and you let go of your face, only to bury it in his neck. You wrapped your arms around his waist, and one of his hands found its way to your hair. He massaged your scalp gently and you let him hold you. Let him comfort you. Because you wanted Taehyung to comfort you. You wanted to be with him.
But he couldn’t be with someone else at the same time.
“Tae”, you said against his neck.
He held you tighter. “Princess…”
“You can’t see someone else.”
He let out a small broken sound. “As if I’d ever want someone else than you, fuck.”
It was your turn to hold him tighter. Until Yeontan barked, and the two of you started laughing. You pulled away, trying to reach for the dog. But Taehyung was holding your shoulders, and a second later his hands moved to your cheeks. He dried your tears, and then pulled you in.
You let out a small, surprised sound as his lips found yours. But they were just as soft as you remembered, and you immediately melted into his touch. You kissed him back, with all the hurt that you had been carrying over the last week. Until Yeontan barked again, demanding attention.
“Wait, wait”, Taehyung said, pulling away from you. “Yeontan.” He used a firm authoritative voice, yet it only seemed to make his dog go crazy even more. Taehyung let out a long sigh and was about to turn towards his dog when you ran a hand through his untamed hair.
“You look like shit”, you said, and new tears rolled on your cheeks.
His eyes widened in fake offence. “Excuse me?”
“You haven’t slept and your hair is all a mess”, you tried to explain. “I’m so sorry I made you wait for a week.”
“Hey hey hey”, he said with a soothing voice, grabbing your wrists as you were once again going to run your hands through his hair in a hopeless attempt to tame the wild strands. “I would have waited for a lot longer if it was what you would have needed. It’s okay.”
Yeontan barked again.
“Let me just…” he trailed off, letting go of your wrists so he could grab his dog. “What’s wrong?”
Yeontan just looked at him with an innocent look on his face.
“I think he’s jealous.”
“Well, let me put him in your bathroom real quick”, Taehyung said with his classic small pout.
You loved when he looked at you like that. You watched him get up and move to the bathroom, while he murmured soothing words to his dog. Yeontan let out a single bark when Taehyung closed the door behind him, but then he fell silent.
You were thankful for it, because the look on Taehyung’s face had entirely changed once he settled his gaze on you again. You gulped as he walked back towards you.
He was yours. Kim Taehyung was yours. And it was true. The part he had mentioned about children. You understood why he wanted five kids. You wanted five of them yourself, just to offer them the childhood that you had yourself lived. You hadn’t told him earlier, but the urge to do so now was stronger than you.
“Tae”, you said as he sat back next to you.
“Mmh?”
You turned, facing him with your whole body. “I want to have children with you too. You’re the only person I could imagine a future like that with. I think that’s why I asked you, when I was drunk at Eunjin’s party.”
A small smirk had moved on his lips, and it gave colour to his cheeks again. To the whole world around him too, and your heart rate increased in your chest.
“Well then we better get started, mmh?”
Your mouth fell open. “Now?”
He shrugged, before leaning down to peck your lips. “Whenever you want, princess.”
“I’m on the pill so it can’t be right now. And I have my job so we would need to plan a little more but…”
Taehyung crashed his lips on yours, interrupting your rambling and you kissed him back, grabbing his cheeks to hold him close. He kissed you hungrily, passionately, with that same fire you had gotten used to with him. Only this time, the fire didn’t burn. It was like the fire a hearth held in the winter. It was welcoming, warm and made a home a home.
Taehyung was your home. He always had been.
Your tongue swiped at his bottom lip, asking for more, and soon enough he met it with his own. You sighed in his mouth, climbing on his lap as he pulled you, holding your waist firmly. As if he was afraid you’d go.
You wouldn’t be stupid enough to go again.
You moved from his mouth to his neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the warm skin. Wet kisses, and you sucked on his skin as you moved lower, where the collar of his shirt hid the rest of his body from you.
“Princess…” he breathed, and it almost sounded like a moan.
You sucked on the skin again, before moving up to his lips. Capturing them in another wild kiss, as Taehyung’s hands slid from your waist to your ass.
“Do you know how much I love it when you call me ‘princess’?” you asked him as you pulled away.
He was looking at you through half-lidded eyes, and you could see the lust burning in his gaze. A fire that was about to consume the two of you.
You had stopped caring when he had told you he loved you.
“I know”, he said, and a smirk moved on his glossy lips. “I know what my princess likes.”
You bit your tongue to refrain from moaning. Because he had grinded up as he had said the words, and the prominent bulge in his pants brushed against your clit.
“Tae…”
There was a moment where you just stared at each other. Gazed at each other, with longing and lust and love. Because there was love between the two of you, even if you had tried to ignore it for all those months.
“Y/n…”
You pecked his lips once, and the hands that had been holding you up on his shoulders slid down his frame, until you reached the hem of his shirt. With no hesitation, you pulled it up his torso, and Taehyung pushed up from the couch so he could help you get the shirt off. Once his honey skin was free from the fabric, you ran your hands down his frame again, enjoying the hard planes of his perfect body. He watched you as you did so, his large hands having found your ass once more.
He squeezed your ass as your fingers glided over his ribs. “That tickles.”
You let out a small feminine laugh. The laugh only he had been able to bring out of you. “Sorry.”
You dove in once again, kissing him slow and deep, with your tongues meeting halfway. You sucked on his, and he grunted in your mouth, before letting his hands wander up and under your shirt. He pulled it up your frame, and you pulled away just long enough for him to take it off you before crashing your lips on his again.
His skilled fingers reached to your back untying your bra, but before he had been able to pull the fabric off your body, your phone rang.
You both turned your head to the device. It was face down on your bed, where you had left it earlier as you had been waiting for Taehyung.
“Do you want to get that?” he asked, right as he took off your bra.
You hesitated a few seconds, before getting up. “It’s probably your sister checking up on me.”
You crossed the distance to your bed, climbing the small flight of stairs that led to it. You sat on the mattress, letting out a small laugh as your eyes fell to your naked breasts. Your nipples were perked up, and you didn’t need to look at Taehyung to know what he was looking at.
You grabbed your phone, turning it at the same time as it stopped ringing. It was a missed call from Eunjin. A slight blush crept on your cheeks, and you quickly opened the phone so you could text her that you were okay.
Her reply came in before you had time to put the phone aside.
Does this mean you’re going to fuck my brother again?
Your cheeks were burning red when you looked up towards Taehyung. “Gosh.”
He smiled. “Eunjin?”
You nodded. “Let me just…” you trailed off as you texted your best friend that she was disgusting, adding three little dots and the winking emoji. You then shut your phone off, until only a black screen was staring up at you, before you looked at Taehyung again.
“She will probably kill me”, he said.
“She can try”, you replied from your spot on the bed. You put your phone on your bedside table, before moving until you were lying on your side, looking at Taehyung. “Why don’t you come here?”
The smirk on his lips made heat pool at your core as he moved towards you. Ever so slowly, with that same predator gait that made your blood boil inside. You bit your lip, holding in your own smirk.
Taehyung stopped next to your mattress. He undid his belt, slowly, and you shamelessly looked down as he let his pants fall around his ankles. The imprint of his dick in his pale underwear had you salivating, especially as your eyes followed it to the tip, where a wet spot indicated that precum had already leaked from his dick.
“You’re already hard for me”, you praised.
He palmed himself through his boxer briefs, cocking his head to the side. “My princess likes me hard, doesn’t she?”
You sat up, before moving to a kneeling position beside him. Because of your mattress, your mouth was at a level with his stomach instead of his dick, so you pressed a kiss under his belly button, before sucking the skin in. Totally aiming to leave a love bite there.
He hissed, one of his large hands moving in your hair so he could hold it like a ponytail. “You’re going to be a good girl and suck my dick, mmh?”
You kissed the tip of his dick, licking your lips chasing the salty taste of him. “Will you be a good boy and fuck me after?”
He let out a small laugh. “Dominant might look good on you.”
You bit into the side of his dick, softly. “Would it?” You moved to the tip, licking it. “I wonder what you would look like with me whipping you?”
His eyes went ten shades darker. “We’ll have to try.”
He grunted as you sucked him through the brief, and your saliva added a bigger spot where the precum already was. Taehyung seemed to grow tired of your teasing, because he pulled on your hair, long enough so he could pull his briefs down. His dick sprung free, and you let out a small breathy sound.
“You’re so thirsty for my dick, mmh?” Taehyung said. “You’re going to be a good girl and milk it for me now.”
You whined a little, because he was still pulling on your hair. He loosened the grip, and you immediately moved forward… only you avoided his dick, and you planted an open-mouthed kiss on the base of it. Looking up at Taehyung, holding his gaze as his cock stood hard next to your face.
“Fucking tease.” Taehyung looked angry, somehow. The cursing turned you on, and you sucked on the base of his dick, as you wrapped a hand around his length. Slowly jerking him off, never breaking eye contact. “Suck me, princess.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, but you finally gave in to his desires, pulling away just enough so you could wrap your lips around the head of his dick. You sucked on it, hollowing your cheeks as you swirled your tongue on his frenulum. A satisfied smirk appeared on his lips, and it only encouraged you to take him in your mouth, going as far as you could without choking.
“Good girl”, he praised, eyes never blinking. No, he was drinking in the sight of you, and you could tell he needed more. But you wanted him too, so you obeyed. Shutting your eyes to focus on sucking him, using your tongue to pleasure him in time with your hand as you jerked off what didn’t fit in your mouth.
Taehyung grunted, hips bucking forward just a little, but you could tell he was restraining himself. He didn’t want to fuck your mouth. Probably because he wanted to fuck your pussy all night and needed all his energy for that. The thought made you moan around the length of his dick, and he grunted louder this time.
“Fuck.”
You moaned again, swallowing around his dick as you took it as deep as you could. This time, you choked around him, and tears formed behind your closed eyelids. He pulled on your hair, until your mouth was free of his dick.
“Princess.”
You opened your eyes, looking up at him as you kept slowly jerking him off.
“I can’t believe the only dick you’ve sucked is mine, you’re so good.”
The praise made you moan, and Taehyung pulled your hand away from his cock. You offered him a confused look, but he kneeled in front of you, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.
His hands were everywhere: on your sides, on your back, in your hair. They moved to the front of your body, grabbing your breasts, pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He pinched hard, enough to hurt, but it only made you soak your panties even more.
Taehyung knew you liked a little pain. And he knew just how to hurt you to please you.
He pulled away from the kiss, replacing one hand with his mouth. He sucked on your nipple, worshipping it with his tongue as you moaned, arching your back and losing your hands in his hair. He nibbled at the sensitive bud and you shook in his hold, pleasure already building up inside of you. He chose that moment to let the other hand wander down your body, and he struggled with the button of your pants for a few seconds before it came undone, letting him dive his hand in, until he was cupping your pussy.
“You’re dripping wet, aren’t you?” he said, pulling away from your breast long enough to meet your gaze. “You’re going to come in no time.”
As if he wanted to prove his words, he sucked on your nipple again, using his teeth just enough to cause that blissful pain you had grown accustomed to. You moaned as he started pressing circles on your clit, through the fabric of your panties. You grinded in his hand, and sure enough there already was an orgasm bubbling on the horizon of your conscience. It came to you fast, and right before it hit you, Taehyung pulled away, stopping his ministrations on your nipple and your clit.
You let out a pained whine at the denied orgasm, and your hand reached towards your clit in the hope that you could still hit your high. Taehyung stopped you, grabbing your wrists until you stopped resisting him.
“You’re going to come only when I tell you to come, alright?”
His baritone voice was even lower than it usually was. Filled with danger, and you nodded your head. You wanted to be a good girl for him, because you knew he always rewarded you with the best orgasms when you were.
You nodded. “Alright.”
“On your back”, he said, your favourite smirk back on his lips.
You obeyed, eyes never leaving his dark gaze. The fallen angel through and through, about to use your body for his sins.
You’d let him use your body for his sins for the rest of your life. He must have noticed the emotion move over your face, because he climbed on top of you, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. Your eyes fluttered shut, and he pressed a kiss on your two cheeks before landing one on your lips. You kissed him back, sighing against him as he grabbed your wrists gently, pulling them over your head.
“No touching, mmh?”
He had barely pulled away, and you kept your eyes closed as you replied. “You should tie me up.”
“Don’t be a brat today, princess”, he warned. “I just want to enjoy you, I don’t want to have to punish you.”
You gulped, before slowly nodding your head. “I won’t touch you.”
“Good girl.”
He moved down your body, and your eyes fluttered open to look at him. He took off your pants, bringing your underwear down at the same time. His eyes were staring right at your pussy, and had you not known any better, you would have closed your thighs to hide yourself from his view. But clearly Taehyung was in a mood, and you didn’t want to anger him.
The denied orgasm still hurt deep down in your core.
You had expected Taehyung to eat you out. And he almost did, blowing a breath on your pussy, but he kneeled between your legs instead, letting his cock rest on your pubis.
“I almost want to fuck you like that”, he let out. “You’d be so fucking tight.”
But it’d hurt. That much you knew. And you also knew Taehyung would never hurt you like that. Still, your eyes fluttered shut as he moved back, just enough for his dick to move towards your entrance.
“And you’d let me do it, wouldn’t you?”
You would. “Yes”, you breathed, because you knew he liked it when you were vocal.
“Good girl.” He ran his hands on your thighs, pulling your legs up until he had them rested on one of his shoulders. “I’ll still finger you first.”
He had barely said the words before two long digits slipped inside of you. You let out a moan as he immediately curled them to hit the spot inside of you that made you see stars. And he fingered you relentlessly, and hard, until you were a moaning mess under his skilled fingers.
“You can’t come yet, mmh?” he let out as your walls clenched around him. “Wait until I tell you, princess.”
“Tae”, you moaned, and your eyes fluttered open.
He smirked at you. “Hi there.”
“I want to come”, you complained.
He pressed a kiss on the side of one of your legs. “You can wait just a little longer for me, mmh?” He landed another kiss on your calf. “I want you to come around my dick.”
The orgasm was close, clinging to you, making you ache from head to toe. You held it in, focusing on the strands of hair in front of his eyes. It moved as he fingered you, and he had to blink to keep it from touching his eyes. But he wasn’t slowing down, pushing against your g-spot until your legs shook on his shoulder.
“Do you think you can take me now?” he asked.
“Yes, Tae”, you said breathlessly. “Please.”          
His finger left you empty, only to move up to your clit. He started drawing circles on it again, and you shuddered as he pushed his dick against your lips. He had barely pushed the head in when you let out a small cry.
“Just a little longer, princess”, he told you, with his baritone voice. It was soothing, somehow, but all your mind could do was focus on where he was stretching you wide open.
He slowly bottomed out, and it did hurt a little. Indeed, you were tight against him, tighter than you usually were. Because he usually took his time to spread you open before fucking his dick into you.
But he hadn’t been able to wait tonight, had he? You could understand why: he thought he had lost you. And you knew what that could do to a man. Fear was an ugly emotion, but it wasn’t really the time to think about that though.
“Tae, it hurts”, you whined.
He stopped moving his fingers on your clit, and you whined even louder. “You want to come?”
You nodded. “Yes.” There were tears in your eyes, from all the denying of your orgasm. You blinked them away frustratedly.
“Have I made you wait long enough?” he asked, and he started pulling out, ever so slowly.
“Fuck, Tae.”
“Such a pretty princess”, he praised. “You will come for me now, mmh?”
You moaned as he started moving his fingers on your clit again, with the perfect pressure. Your eyes fell shut, and your orgasm hit you as he thrusted all the way in again.
It was one of the best orgasms of your life. Blinding, deafening, muting. It took away all of your senses, and the only thing you could feel was the place where your bodies were connected. It was his fingers on you, and his dick inside of you. It was the clenching of your walls around his length, in time with every wave of your orgasm. And he worked you through it, never slowing down. Giving you what you had been denied for too long. He milked every last drop of it, and you were pretty sure you had squirted at the same time from the squelching sounds your pussy made as he kept fucking into you, slowly.
“Fuck”, you let out as his fingers finally left your clit.
“That felt good?”
A small laugh fell from your lips. “Fuck.”
It wasn’t just good. It was pure ecstasy, a drug that had ignited every single nerve ending in your body. All your senses came rushing back to you, and your eyes fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung gazing at you lovingly.
“You’re so beautiful when you come”, he said. He was hugging your legs to his chest, still fucking into you slowly.
“Tae…”
“I want to see you come every day”, he continued, ignoring the loving plea in your voice. “I want to feel you come every day.”
“You’re crazy”, you said, letting out another small laugh.
“Crazy for you”, he agreed.
And then he was fucking you again, chasing his own high. Holding your legs to hit that sensitive spot inside of you, until he chose to lean on top of you, kissing you as he slowed the rhythm. He made love to you for a while, your lips never parting for longer than a few seconds. Just long enough to suck in a much-needed breath, before he was kissing you again.
Taehyung hit his high a while later. While you were digging your nails in the skin of his back in an attempt to pull him closer. You wanted him closer, even if he was buried deep inside of you, reaching spots inside of you you didn’t even think he had reached before.
Taehyung painted the walls of your pussy white as he came, grunting against your lips as you kissed him through his orgasm. You were pretty sure he was whispering your name as he shook with the waves of his own high, and you only held him tighter, until he stopped moving altogether.
You remained unmoving for a time, save for the kiss that you didn’t want to let end. You wanted to kiss him until you would die, and he gave in. Kissed you back, poured his love for you in the muscles of his mouth. You ran a hand along his back, through his soft hair, before settling your arms around his neck.
“I love you”, you whispered as he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours.
He pecked your lips. “I love you too.” He went soft inside of you, yet he still didn’t pull out.
You only then realized that Yeontan was barking like crazy. “We should take care of your dog.”
Taehyung hid his face in your neck. “I don’t want to move.”
You laughed, hugging him close, even though he was crushing you a little. “I don’t want to be evicted.”
He raised his head to look at you. You read the words in his eyes before he even said them.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I won’t move in with you.”
He pouted, that same begging pout that could win wars for him. “Please?”
You couldn’t say no to him, could you?
“You really are crazy, aren’t you?”
He pecked your forehead. “How many times do I need to tell you that I’m crazy for you?”
 *****
 One year later
                 You looked at the pregnancy test in your lap. Though happy tears had been blurring your vision, there was no mistaking: you were pregnant.
You could hear Taehyung gaming from the bathroom, unaware that your lives were about to change. Unaware that in just under nine months you would welcome your first child. You had been trying for a couple of weeks now – now that you had finally decided to quit your job to raise your kids at home. Not that you had quit yet, you had decided to wait until you were married and pregnant before you did.
It seemed life had chosen for it to come sooner than later.
You blinked the tears away, letting out a small happy laugh. You imagined the child: would they look like Taehyung, with one double lid and a mono lid, or would they have your features? And their hands: their fingers would be so small, almost as tiny as grains of rice.
You couldn’t wait until you could hold those little hands in your own. For the moment, all you could do was land a hand on your lower stomach, stroking it gently. The next few weeks would be uncertain. You knew there was a possibility you would lose the baby, but something about the feeling bubbling in your chest reassured you.
There was a little bit of you and Taehyung, growing inside of you right now.
A happy tear rolled on your cheek and you wiped it with the back of your hand as you heard Taehyung cheer in his gaming room. He was playing Overwatch with Jungkook, and from what you could tell, they had just won a game.
You got up from the toilet seat, where you had anxiously waited for the results of the pregnancy test. It was your third time doing one, but the first time you had ever seen it positive. You clutched it to your chest, following Taehyung’s cheery voice as you made your way to his gaming room.
“We annihilated them”, Taehyung was saying. “Bro, I swear we could start a team.”
There was silence for a while, during which you assumed Jungkook was replying on his side of the call.
“I’m sure Jin-hyung would join.” It took a moment, but Taehyung burst out laughing, and the sound of his laugh brought a whole new grin to your lips.
He came to view, sitting in front of his gaming set-up. The only light in the room was coming from the two screens of his set-up, and he turned his head towards you as you walked into the room. Light flickered on his profile, and his mouth fell open as he noticed your teary-eyed smile.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
You let out a small happy sob.
“JK, I’ll be right back.”
He took off his headset, putting it down next to his keyboard before rolling away from the desk.
“Hey, princess, why are you crying?” he enquired as you remained silent.
You finished crossing the distance between you, handing him the pregnancy test. It took him a moment to connect the dots. But you had never seen anything as beautiful as Taehyung when he realized he was going to be a dad.
“You’re shitting me?” he said, eyes filling with tears.
You started crying again, shaking your head no. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re pregnant?” His voice broke at the end, right as a blinding boxy grin split his face in half.
You nodded, and Taehyung jumped out of his chair to wrap his arm around you. He laughed and cried, and you held him close as you did the same. You didn’t think it was possible, but your love for him grew tenfold.
You were going to have a child. A little bit of the two of you.
“I can’t believe it”, he choked out through sobs. “We’re going to have a baby.”
You nodded again. “Our first one.”
“We need to get married”, he pointed out, pulling away from your embrace to look at your face.
You reached to dry the happy tears on his cheeks. “Should we get married before we tell the family?”
“I don’t know. Eunjin is going to be so happy”, Taehyung pointed out. “Your parents might be worried since we aren’t married though.”
You looked at him pointedly. “My parents adore you, they won’t give a shit.”
   “Do you want to get married right now?” he asked.
“Tonight?”
He let out a small laugh. “Tomorrow, I don’t care.”
“Didn’t we just say we could wait?”
Taehyung picked you up and spun you around once, before letting your feet meet the ground again. “I want to marry you.”
You laughed through the new wave of tears. “We can marry when the baby is born.”
His eyes widened. “We’re going to have a baby”, he repeated, tasting the words carefully on his tongue. “A little boy!”
You furrowed your brows. “Why not a little girl?”
“I want a boy first.”
“I want a girl.”
“You say that just to oppose me.”
He wasn’t wrong, and you shrugged sheepishly, letting out another laugh.
“I fucking love you, you know that?” He pressed a kiss to your lips as if to give emphasis to his words. You kissed him back, but he pulled away after a few seconds. “I need to tell JK.”
“You didn’t mute yourself.”
He hadn’t had time to. You were pretty sure you could hear Jungkook screaming on his side of the Discord call.
“Aish”, Taehyung let out, and you shared a laugh as he moved towards his set-up. He grabbed the headset, putting it over his head. “Shut up, JK, I’m back.”
Taehyung nodded, as if his friend could see him.
“Yes.” He waited for a time, then nodded again. “Let me give the headset to her, I’m pretty sure she can answer herself.”
Taehyung took it off, handing it to you. You cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but still walked towards him, grabbing the headset and putting it on.
“What’s up?” you asked.
“Can I be the godfather?” Jungkook asked – or rather screamed – through his mic.
You winced at how loud Taehyung’s friend was. “Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure my ears are bleeding now.”
“Can I?” Jungkook asked again, with a little voice that resembled that of a child himself.
“That’s a lot of responsibility”, you pointed out.
There was shuffling on Jungkook’s side, and then his girlfriend started talking. “Y/n, I swear to God if you say no to him I am going to tattoo you in your sleep.”
“You wouldn’t dare”, you said, pouting, but you already had a smile on your lips.
Taehyung and you had decided a while ago who were going to be the godparents. Eunjin and Jungkook. It was the easiest choice you had made about deciding to have a child together.
“Give me Jungkook back”, you told your friend.
She let out an excited yelp. “Hold on.”
It took a few seconds, but then Jungkook’s voice filled your ears again. “So?”
“Yes, you’re going to be the godfather, dumbass.”
Taehyung was smiling lovingly at you. He wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his head on your shoulder. You turned to look at him, offering him a lovesick smile.
“Thank you thank you thank you”, Jungkook kept repeating in his mic. “I promise I’ll be the…“ His words were cut off. “Ouch, that hurt.”
You heard his girlfriend’s iconic laugh and your smile only grew bigger.
You loved these people far too much for your own good.
“But JK?” you said as you listened to him bickering with his girlfriend.
The bickering ended, and he let out an, “Uh?”
“Please don’t tell the others for now. Just in case something happens.”
“I promise”, Jungkook said, voice filled with emotions. “Our lips are sealed.”
You smiled and then took off the headset. You handed it to Taehyung, and he took it with his bright, teary eyes. He put it back on, before sitting in his chair. He and Jungkook chatted for a while, and you sat on Taehyung, resting your head against his chest. You listened to his heartbeat as he ran a hand on your back, the other having found a home on your lower stomach.
As if he’d feel the baby kicking already.
Taehyung’s heartbeat was steady. A rhythm you had grown to know by heart, a melody that accompanied the nights when you couldn’t sleep. Your lips stretched into a smile at the thought that many sleepless nights were to come. But you could take a thousand of them if it meant building a family with Taehyung.
After all, you had always been crazy for him too.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
So, what do we think? One hell of a journey isn’t it? I hope you enjoyed it <3
Don’t hesitate to leave feedback by following this link! It always helped to keep motivated into writing more!
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts 2023
Taglist:
@chimchimmarie​ | @pamzn​ |
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jxmxisvu · 2 years
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Summary: Taehyung loses himself in his imagination of the perfect night with you, where on a cold winter night at his apartment, you lose your virginity to him.
Word Count: 873
Rating: M (18+, minors dni)
Warnings: Descriptions of sex/smut.
Genre: Fluff, smut. (Taehyung is so in love.)
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It was another night Taehyung invited you over late to his apartment. He loved having you here, watching you take off your shoes and let down your hair as soon as you walk in the door. It made him feel good knowing you felt so safe and at home around him, and he knew exactly how he wanted tonight to go. It was a special night.
You come in, kick your shoes off at the door. You greet him with a kiss that he’s sure to lose himself in, as he does every night. You pull away and look at him just long enough for him to admire the way your eyes sparkle before you look down at a very excited Yeontan, scooping him up in your arms. Taehyung will ask if you want a drink, although he knows what you want already; a glass of red wine.
You’ll go to the living room together, Taehyung with a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hands, you with the small dog, and you’ll sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. He will open his legs so you can sit between them and lean back into him, and he’ll pour both of you a glass.
You’ll drink. You’ll talk. You’ll sink deeper into his arms as he falls deeper for you. He’ll sneak chances to press kisses to your forehead, on your hair, on your lips. He’ll find reasons to lace his fingers with yours, or pull you in as close as he can, keeping you warm from the winter night. And as the red wine buzz kicks in, and you settle into him sleepily, he’ll whisper to you that you should stay the night, begging you not to go out in the cold.
You say yes, and let him lead you to his bedroom where he’ll have you change in one of his shirts and make yourself comfortable in his bed. He’ll whisper sweet words to you as you lay next to each other, his hand gently caressing your thigh and subtly making its way upwards. He’ll be able to tell you’re feeling good, the way you melt into him and part your legs slightly.
He’ll begin to kiss you, gently at first, the way you both like. His tongue exploring yours as you open your legs to him a bit more, letting his hand crawl up to meet your center. He’ll touch you softly, applying pressure in just the right way to have you excited and ready to give yourself to him.
Then he’ll go down. Lips on your neck, your breasts, making his way down to your core. Then he’ll use his tongue, closing his eyes and pleasuring you under the sheets. One arm wrapped around your shaking thigh, the other reaching up to hold your hand, squeezing it to let you know he’s got you while you’re working through your orgasm.
He’s spreading your legs as he takes his place on top, looking down at the woman he loves in his bed. You’ll look beautiful, a halo of hair spread out on the pillow, your sparkling eyes looking up at him. He’ll lean down and press another kiss to your lips, letting you taste yourself on his tongue as he slowly slides into you. He’ll smile at the way you gasp and whimper, and whisper to you things to help you relax.
“You’re so beautiful.”
“Shhh, I’ve got you. I’m right here.”
“I love you.”
The last, he’ll repeat to you in your ear as he doesn’t move, allowing you to adjust to the new fullness. His hands in yours, his face in the crook of your neck as he begins to thrust, rocking himself into you, feeling your legs wrap around him to take him in deeper.
You’ll feel every inch of him exploring you, taking him in deep. He’ll hope you can feel how much he loves you, how close he feels to you, how you have his heart completely. The way he makes love to you is tender and protective, cradling your body underneath his own, picking up the pace as the pleasure really takes over for you both.
Your deep breaths. Your moans. Your whimpers. Your whines. Losing yourself to him in the most intimate way. You’ll cum again, and he’ll hold you through it, until only moments later he’ll follow you. He’ll release into you, your body aching for his to fill you.
You’ll be so tired and spent, closing your eyes and needing him close. He smiles, knowing how you must feel, and scoops your exhausted body in his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He’ll keep you protectively close to him, the vulnerability of the moment not lost on him. He’ll thank you as you lose yourself to sleep for letting him love you, for trusting him.
Taehyung’s thoughts are broken by a sweet knock on the door followed by Yeontan’s happy barks. He smiles big as he opens the door to see your pretty face peeking out from underneath a scarf. Your nose red from the cold.
“You’re so cold honey.” He says, taking your hand and leading you in. “Welcome home. Come in, I’ll warm you up.”
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honeytae · 2 years
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“You say the word, angel, and I’ll give it to you.”
*cough cough* erm…hi everyone. it’s been a bit but i’m back in my most natural form: being an absolute whore for kim taehyung. this was actually just going to be a domestic bliss drabble but then…you know…tae happened. anyways, i hope you guys enjoy! as always, feedback is much appreciated!
genre: smut, fluff
word count: 2k
warnings: explicit sexual content, read at your own risk.
This was, by far, the most treasured part of your day.
The time where you could finally draw the curtains, closing yourself off from the stresses of the outside world and freeing yourself from the responsibilities that came with others’ expectations.
Where you reunited with any semblance of peace, your personal safe space, Taehyung. You may even go as far as saying that climbing into bed with your lovely boyfriend was the highlight of any day you were lucky enough to be granted the opportunity.
When that bathroom light went off, you knew Taehyung was only moments away from shifting the bed with his weight and snuggling in behind you; much like he was already up to tonight.
“Missed you,” he mumbled into your neck, nuzzling his cold nose into the warm skin before pressing three little pecks of his lips to the spot.
“Oh? You did?” You teased, yelping as Taehyung pinched the skin of your hip in retaliation. Pressing your palm into the mattress, you maneuvred your body to instead face him, your favorite signature smirk greeting you as you settled back into the pillows.
“I missed you too,” You admitted, “how was your day?” you murmured, speech slightly muffled from the hand cushion you held beneath your cheek.
“Productive,” he said after exhaling a sigh, throwing an arm over your torso to pull you in closer to him. “Finished that track I told you about, started another one.”
His voice sounded gravelly and spent, proof and evidence of his strenuous day.
You reached up to tuck some of his soft hair behind his ear, causing him to smile as he watched you dote over his lengthy tresses.
He was fully aware of the effect he had on you, and loved to push you over the edge. Growing his hair out just became a part of that game over the course of your relationship.
“Mm, that’s really good. ‘M so proud of you,” you responded sleepily, stifling a yawn at the end of your sentiments.
“Thanks,” he whispered shyly, scrunching his features as you gently puckered your lips against the soft skin of his cheek, letting out an exaggerated ‘muah’ along with the motion.
“How was yours?” He quickly deflected, making you hold back a chuckle at the endearment swimming in your heart for the man.
“It was fine,” you shrugged, squirming when Taehyung once again pinched your hip for your lack of elaboration.
“Ah, fine! Work was okay, kind of the same,” you answered, pausing for a moment before mentioning, “There was some drama at lunch though, I’ll tell you about it when I’m more awake.”
“Oh? Can’t wait to hear it,” He commented, a bit of amusement present in his tone.
The truth was, he really counted on hearing about it later. Tae was fully invested in your life, and catty fights at work were definitely a part of it.
You were quite literally the couple that filled each other in on everything. And you thoroughly enjoyed it; seeing a laidback man such as Taehyung with his legs kicked out in front of him on the couch, clutching a bottle of soju in one hand and your own appendages in the other as he intently listened to every word you shared, eyes widening at certain details of the story.
You swept your finger across the man’s eyebrow, a sign of affection that allowed him to lean forward to nuzzle his face into your neck.
Sleepy kisses on the skin there soon switch to suction from his velvety lips, sending shivers down to your toes when his tongue pokes out from his lips to suckle on your pulse point.
What started as a sleepy cuddling session was quickly headed elsewhere, Tae slotting his thigh between your legs and bringing you impossibly closer to the edge of sanity.
“Mm,” you sighed, wrapping an arm around his head to scratch at his scalp, soft tendrils tickling your palm as he leaned more into your touch.
“Baby,” he breathed, “how tired are you?” he drawled, hand caressing over your torso, bringing the light fabric of your t-shirt up over your skin to rest his palm on your tummy.
In place of a verbal response, you craned your neck to look down at him, the desire swimming in his irises making you clamp your thighs together.
He smirked at the action felt against his leg, happily letting you guide his face to your own to crash your lips together in a rather desperate move. You moaned as his tongue pushed past your lips, tangling hotly with your own.
Gasping as he lifted his thigh to press up into your core, the friction caused you to grip onto his rippled back muscles. What the fuck possessed this man to start lifting?
“Not so tired, anymore,” You panted against his lips, Taehyung’s jaw falling open when you drifted your hand down to palm him through his sweatpants. Smirking at his reaction, you fiddled with the drawstrings until the waistband loosened around his tummy.
Tae watched you closely, trying to anticipate your next move but not at all being able to suppress his reaction once you did.
He let out a shaky breath as you snuck your hand down his underwear, letting his forehead fall onto your own as you wrapped your fingers around his half-hard cock. Lazily bringing your hand up and down his length, you pressed feather-light kisses across his heated cheeks, swiping the pad of your thumb across his sensitive cockhead.
“Fuck, yeah,” He sucked a breath in through his teeth, warmth spreading through your body in response, feeling very much proud of yourself that you could draw out these reactions out of him.
Your smugness didn’t go unnoticed by the man, effectively wiping the expression off of your face when he dug his hand down your underwear, fingertips dipping through the pool between your folds and landing on your clit with ease.
“Already so wet, sweetheart? I haven’t even touched you,” he chuckled, choking a bit on his words when you squeezed your hand around the base of his cock.
“N-not my fault. You s- sound sexy,” you barely got out, breathless as Tae pulled, pinched, and rolled your clit between his thumb and forefinger.
You moaned his name as he scraped his nail against the sensitive bud, feeling his cock grow harder in your palm in response to the sound.
“You should hear yourself,” he mumbled under his breath, focusing on dousing his fingers in your arousal enough to dip two of them into your leaking entrance at once.
“Tae-mmmph,” you whined as your lips were once again taken by his, mewling when he bit down on your bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth.
You powerlessly allowed Taehyung to properly roll you under him with a push of his hand against your shoulder, wet kissing sounds echoing around the bedroom.
“You’re so hot,” he panted, groping your boobs over the thin sleeping shirt draped over your upper half, dipping his head down to suck on your pert nipple through the fabric, “fucking perfect.”
You could barely put words together as Taehyung thrusted his fingers into your pussy, rubbing the rough spot of your walls as he flicked his wrist over and over again. The heel of his palm ground against your clit dizzied your mind, stuttering over his name as you clamped your thighs around his wrist.
“Fuck me, please,” you begged, helplessly thrusting your hips into his hand as he tried to pull away.
“Do you want my hand or my cock? You say the word, angel, and I’ll give it to you.” He crooned, attaching his mouth to your jaw, sucking a red bloom into the skin as you picked up your hands actions, jerking his length for emphasis.
“Your cock, Tae.”
You sounded pathetic, begging for him like that. It honestly would’ve made you feel embarrassed in any other relationship, but Taehyung loved every moment of it. It was evident by the prideful smirk on his face as he withdrew his hand from your panties, tugging the garment down and off your legs.
You fully expected Taehyung’s face to resume hovering over yours, so when he started shuffling down your body, you began to pick your head up off the pillow in confusion.
Gasping as you suddenly felt Taehyung’s tongue dip between your folds, you pinched your eyebrows together in pleasured agony, tossing your head back as your hands flew to the back of his head nestled between your thighs.
“Fuck, Tae!” You whimpered as his nose nudged your clit, tongue teasingly flicking inside your quivering entrance.
“You feel like you’re gonna cum on my tongue,” he commented, lapping up your juices with a greedy tongue.
Pushing your upper half off the mattress with your elbows, you met his eyes with a definitive shake of your head.
“No, Tae, I want-”
“I know, honey,” he assured, ending his teasing as he sat up on his knees, tucked his thumbs into his sweats and brought his boxers down with them.
“I just couldn’t help myself,” he smiled, your arousal still glimmering on his lips in the dim light of your bedroom. The sight had you clenching your thighs together once more, throbbing heat erupting from the teased area.
You waited eagerly as Tae kicked his clothes off the bed, caging your body with his arms as he lowered himself atop your frame.
Dipping down, he kissed you once more, this time being much gentler with his actions as he lightly suckled your bottom lip.
Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt his hard cockhead prying at your entrance, wrapping your arms around his neck as he lined himself up perfectly before moving his hips forward to insert his length, inch by inch.
“Fuck, me,” you swore at the stretch, Taehyung laughing shakily at your chosen words.
“That’s the intention,” he joked, your stomachs shaking against each other’s as you giggled into each other’s mouths.
“You can move,” you nodded, giving the awaited permission after a moment of Taehyung holding himself there, bottomed out for you to accommodate his girth.
“Okay,” he murmured, tipping his chin to press a peck to the tip of your nose before drawing his hips back, a squelching sound accompanying his movements as he pushed himself back in.
Your fingers rested on the hair at his nape, supporting his neck with one hand while the other cupped his slim waist, encouraging his movements with small, manageable bucking motions of your hips.
Your desire for Taehyung was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. A fire blazed in your chest whenever he was near, whenever he spoke, laughed, or even looked at you.
So being able to have this kind of intimacy with the man blew your head out of the water, your mind empty and mouth unable to give life to any intelligent thought.
To be fair, your mouths were both hung open in exhaled sighs and moans, getting off on each other as you stared into each other’s crazed pupils.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Taehyung picked up the pace, the sound of his balls repeatedly hitting your ass causing competition with his distressed voice.
“Taehyung,” you moaned, your orgasm quickly approaching, something he caught onto immediately as he felt your walls flutter non-stop around his throbbing cock.
“I’m gonna cum,” he grunted, watching you limply nod your head in agreement, deep moans spilling out of his lips as he brought his hand down between your legs to pay attention to your clit.
“Where?” He asked you, slowing the pumping of his hips down for a moment to let you think.
“Inside,” you moaned, watching as Taehyung’s eyes practically rolled back into his head at your answer.
Resuming his previous pace, he rolled his hips into yours again and again, your pussy swallowing his length each time and trying to cling onto it.
Fire burned in the pit of your stomach as he hit your g-spot repeatedly, high-pitched noises spilling from your lips as your hand desperately squeezed his bicep.
“Fuck, I’m cumming,” you announced with a whine, Taehyung dutifully working you through your orgasm as your fluids leaked out around his cock, the tightening of your walls around him being the final straw before he splashed his warm load onto your walls.
Chests heaving, you both tried to catch your breath, leaning into each other’s embrace as you came down from the euphoria thrumming through your bodies.
Rolling over onto his side, Taehyung slid his softening cock out of your entrance, pulling your spent body with him as he laid on his back.
Taehyung’s fingers ghosted over your spine as he hugged you to him, wordlessly trailing them up and down to soothe you back to a relaxed state.
“So,” he started, “what happened at lunch?”
Laughing at his sudden and genuine curiosity, you picked your head up off of his chest to look up at him, taking a moment to appreciate his stunning features before beginning to share the details of your coworkers spat.
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solarwonux · 1 year
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Epitaph || kth (9/?)
pairing: Taehyung x f!reader || roommates!au
w.c:   5k
Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, co-parenting!au, fwb!au, non idol!au
Warnings: alcoholism, panic attacks, mentions of outpatient, car accidents, physical abuse,  they’re all trying their best. 
Synopsis: In memory of the man Kim Taehyung used to be. Caught up and  lost in a continuous cycle searching for something that was already there.
Reeling you into a mess that you never asked for because all you wanted was to feel complete and happy.
a/n: hello again after 4y8392491p302 years. LOL. This chapter was pretty difficult to write which is why it took forever. I just wanted to approach it as best as I could, and I hope I did! Anyway, enjoy and lmk your thoughts! :) xx
m.list || bts m.list
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He was broken.
The mask he had perfectly crafted over the years had cracked. Every frassure visible to the naked eye as he hyperventilated on your front door. It took him only a few seconds for him to finally understand where he was and who was standing in front of him.
It shattered every salvageable part inside of him.
“I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have come.” He was the first to break the air. His voice was rough around its edges. Like how it used to be whenever he would wake up in the morning. He didn’t give you nor Jungkook enough time to answer before turning around, only to be stopped by your hand around his wrist.
“Tae,” You spoke slowly, testing the waters. The last thing you wanted was for one of his outbursts to occur. Though your date with Jungkook had been interrupted by him. You couldn't let him leave in the current state that he was in. He might not be the best person in your life. He might be the cause of many wounds you have yet to heal, but he was still the father of your child. And a part of you still cared for him the way you did all those years ago.
“Did you drive here?” He hates the way your eyes cast down in worry. He hates the way Jungkook is behind you, his shirt unbuttoned halfway. But he shares the same look you’re giving him and he probably hates that even more.
Pity.
You don’t give him enough time to answer because the next thing he knows you’re pulling him into your apartment and shutting the door behind him. Your hands are on his cheeks in an instant and he has a hard time hearing the things that are coming out of your mouth. Everything feels like it’s at a stand still but speeding past him at the same time. He feels his lungs start to give up on him and he’s unaware of where he is again. All he knows is that he needs to cling onto something and he does. He clings onto your arms, digging his blunt nails into your bare arms.
He thinks he hears you telling him to breathe, but he’s not fully aware. Not when you and Jungkook move him to your couch. He can see your lips moving, but everything feels hollow around him. Your touch almost feels ghost-like on his skin, and he only realizes that you’re touching him, when he feels your hand rest against his bare chest right above his heart. Like how he used to do to you whenever he witnessed one of your panic attacks.
Taehyung knows what comes next. You’re telling him to breathe, so he does his best to match the rhythm of your breathing.
He counts to five, imagining a little starfish floating in the air in front of him past you. He counts the arms, just like he once taught you. Slowly he feels himself coming back. He feels everything around him crash all at once and he breaks.
This time harder than before. He wants to stop you from wrapping your arms around him, but he can’t because he’s selfish and all he wants is to be in your arms again. Even if it's against false pretenses.
That’s why he drove to yours tonight. When he saw the bottle of whisky waiting for him on his kitchen table. It must’ve been a parting gift from Eunbi. A cruel one. He almost gave in but something inside of him finally clicked and he did everything to not give in.
So he ran away. He ran away to the one place he’s been longing to be at.
Here, at home.
When he does come back he’s laying on your couch, a weighted blanket covering his lower half. He can hear hushed voices coming from the kitchen.
“WIll he be okay?” Jungkook whispers, with sincerity.
“Yes, I think he just needs time.” You sigh and he can almost visualize the way your shoulders slump forward and your teeth digging into your bottom lip.
It’s silent for a few seconds before Jungkook speaks up again. “Will you be okay? I can stay if you want, I’ll take up the guest bedroom while you deal with him.” He ends. His statement does nothing but infuriate him. He’s about to stand up and walk out. He doesn’t need to be dealt with. He doesn’t need you or anyone for that matter.
He’s been alone for longer than he’d like to admit. He can deal with this alone as well. Then you speak up and he stops himself from pushing the blanket off his body, and he remembers why he came here in the first place.
“No offense Jungkook but I’d rather you not be here when I talk to him.” You answer a lingering bite to your words. “And I’m not dealing with him.”
Taehyung has to fight the smirk threatening to break across his face. You’ve never stood up for him before. At least not in recent years, He’s not sure he even deserves it now, but it sure does feel good that you still don’t hesitate to do so.  
“No–I didn’t mean it like that, I–”
“It’s alright,” you cut him off before he can finish digging himself into a bigger hole. “It’s late, you should go.”
A pregnant silence takes up residency in your apartment. Taehyung’s curiosity gets the best of him and he sits up enough to see you in the kitchen with Jungkook from the couch. The younger one is looking down at you, a flash of regret taking over his features and you’re keeping yourself busy by wiping down the surface of your kitchen counter with an old dish rag. Your shoulders are slumped forward in exhaustion. You’re having an inner battle with yourself. One that Taehyung knows will keep you up all night.
“Fine, I’ll text you.” Jungkook speaks up, tonguing his cheek. He turns his head slightly, swiftly making eye contact with Taehyung. He’s caught but it doesn’t stop the ladder from scrambling to lay down again, before you can realize that he’s been spying as well.
You walk out of the kitchen towards your front entrance. “Yeah sure.” You put your hand on the doorknob, before you can turn it, Jungkook places his hand on top of yours. You meet his worried eyes and it makes the battle you’re having in your head worse.
“Are we good?” He whispers, running his thumb over your knuckles.
It’s a loaded question, because up until a few minutes ago. You were and now you aren’t so sure. You can’t quite figure out why his comment bothered you so much, but it did. If you’re honest, he’ll blame himself, but if you aren’t the outcome will still be the same.
In the couple of months that you have been seeing Jungkook casually, you’ve come to learn so much about him. Unlike Taehyung, he was an open book from the start. You know that tonight he won’t sleep, replaying the whole evening from start to finish. You hate that your heart seems to be closing in on itself. You hate that you can’t give him a straight answer. You hate the situation, and your only solution is to avoid it until it grows out of control and becomes bigger than the elephant in your living room.
“I-I-um, tell Jimin he can drop Hyeon off in an hour.” You close your eyes, regretting every second of it.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, he nods and makes his way out of your apartment. As much as you want to, you don’t stop him.
It hurts more than it should, because a part of you has already let him go.
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It takes a while for either one of you to speak. You’ve been in and out of the living room, trying to keep yourself busy. While Taehyung sits on your couch staring out your balcony window into the city lights.
He’s breathing again, but his chest still feels tight. Mostly, out of guilt. He can see the mental gymnastics you’re going through as you put another load of laundry into the washing machine. Your bottom lip stuck in between your teeth. Every time you get a text from what he assumes is the tattooed younger man, you’re blinking back tears.
Taehyung offered to leave some time ago, but you insisted he’d stay. That was the problem with you. It was why he kept taking and taking without giving anything in return. You always let him, and it makes him hate himself even more.
When the doorbell rings, giving the two of you a fright. It takes a few moments before you’re rushing over and opening the door to reveal a very disheveled Jimin, sporting wide specs and carrying your sleeping son.
Nobody says anything, in case the little boy stuck in dreamland wakes up. Not even when Jimin’s eyes go wide at the sight of a mortified Taehyung on your couch. When he stands up to take Hyeon from his mentor's arms, not a word gets spoken either.
In true Jimin fashion, he nods in understanding and says his goodbyes as quickly as possible. Of course, he wants to be there for his struggling mentee but he’s also aware that it is a step Taehyung needs to do on his own. One the two of them have been talking about for a long time.
Telling you the truth.
It takes Taehyung coming back into your living room after tucking your son in for the silence to finally break.
It was now or never, and he had prolonged it for far too long.
You’re the one taking residency on your couch now. The white fluffy weighted blanket he found himself under a few hours ago, covering your lap.He knows enough to know that you’re also struggling to keep yourself composed. Sometimes your panic attacks were never visible, but he always knew when you were struggling invisibly
“I’m sorry.” He croaks. His voice is hoarse from misuse and he flinches a bit when he sees your dazed look shift like you’re coming back into your body again. He hopes the place you were at helped ease you a bit, but the conversation he’s about to instigate will not.
You shake your head, bringing your knees up to your chest. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything. I hope you’re okay.” You whisper, picking up the little gray felt stuck on the blanket.
Taehyung makes the bold move to sit down next to you, with enough space to be considered holy. “I have years of things to apologize for.” He chuckles awkwardly, sitting criss-cross applesauce and resting his hands on his knees.
“I did a lot of harm to you and Hyeon and I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for it.”
You shake your head before turning it to look at him. “I wonder how long it will last.” You whisper, pushing your legs down. “I don’t know how much I can take anymore Taehyung. You always extend an olive branch to me and then when I accept it we go back to square one.” You sigh almost defeated. “I don’t know how much I can take. You’re the father of my son and I barely know anything about you or your past. I don’t know what happened to make you act this way or to hate me the way you do. I only know bits and pieces that the guys have slipped out, but I don’t know anything and I’m tired of being kept in the dark.” You spill, finally letting years of frustration out.
It’s long overdue, but you’re finally ready to let someone else in, and Taehyung has been holding you back since.
Taehyung grips his hands together and glances at you. He takes three deep breaths before turning to face you completely. You’re always right and that is something he hates to admit, but he needs you to be happy. You’ve always been the strongest one out of the two and he needs you to stay for your son in case he doesn’t make it.
“I started drinking when I was fifteen. At first it was something I did to piss my dad off who was in and out of rehab after my mom died. I swore I only did it recreationally but then it started to feel good. I could black out and forget the shit my dad would throw at me and the way he would hit me. That’s when I became smart about it. I couldn’t go a day without something in my system. It went on like that for years just a small splash in my morning coffee or orange juice. Just a small glass at night. It went on like that for years. Then it became more frequent and when the guys caught me they took it all away from me and helped me while I went through withdrawal. I was sober for a year, my father was in rehab for the last time and I stayed with Hoseok for the time being. Then when dad got out, I thought it would be different so I moved back in.” He pauses, taking a deep breath.
“Dad was sober but that didn’t stop him from putting his hands on me. So, naturally I distanced myself from the guys and started drinking again. That’s when I got into the accident. I guess it took a near death experience and DUI to finally give me the wake up call I needed. So when I got out of the hospital I knew the only way I could recover was to go away so I went to—“
“Italy.” You interrupt, bringing the blanket close to you. There’s not a word to describe what you’re feeling inside. You’re honestly a little bit surprised that instead of brushing you off he was finally telling you what you had spent years piecing together.
Taehyung nods before continuing. “It was the happiest I’d ever been. I was painting and doing what I loved. I was away from my dad and I had met the person who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But after four years she decided that she needed to explore her options more and just packed up her stuff and left and I started drinking again. But after a pretty rough weekend in which I got kicked out of four bars for starting fights I decided I needed to come back. I was running out of money, but I also missed my friends and mom.” He stops, when he feels you shift closer to him. Your hands rest in the close gap between the two of you. He’s itching to hold onto them, but this is the hardest part of his story because it’s the one that revolved around you.
“I didn’t know I was going to meet you. I didn’t know we’d end up being roommates, and I didn’t know I would end up falling for you. I think I have loved you since the moment you said your first words to me. It was like a huge wave hit me face first and all I could think about was you. I don’t regret the years we spent dancing around each other. I don’t regret the silent I love you’s I used to tell you while you were sleeping. And I don’t regret deciding to have a baby with you. But what I do regret is letting my fear take over.” He swallows, blinking fast to scare away the inevitable tears that were threatening to spill. It’s the first time he’s let himself say this, let alone feel it and he’s back to feeling what he felt all those years ago when he realized he loved you as way more than a friend, or the mother of his child. His love for you transcended all galaxies and because he was scared he let you go.
“I hate the way I treated you during your third trimester. I hate that I was never there for you, but I’m a stupid immature idiot who has mommy and daddy issues and I ran away. That’s all I’ve been doing for the past five years. I’ve been running away from everyone and everything. I’ve been drowning myself in alcohol and seeking approval from women who don’t deserve to be treated the way I treat them, but also who treat me equally as shitty. I hate who I have become and I hate that I could possibly be the reason why I’m holding you back, because I hurt you and I betrayed you.” He takes a deep breath and continues, “no matter what happens tonight I will never stop apologizing for it.” He sighs out, shoulders falling down as if a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
A weight he didn’t know he had been carrying around for years. The only two other times he had felt this way was when we first moved in with you, and when he met Jimin at his first AA meeting.
“D-Did you drink tonight?” You mumble, looking down avoiding his eyes so he doesn’t see the tears that are free falling down your cheeks. You knew he had gone through shit but nothing could ever prepare you for the truth.
Taehyung shakes his head before verbally confirming it. “No, I’ve been sober for months. I’ve been going to therapy and AA meetings but I almost did it tonight, which is why I ran here. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Is the last thing you say before wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. “Thank you for telling me, I’m proud of you Tae.” You whisper into his hair, kissing his temple lightly. He lets his hands hover over your back for a split second before he indulges and hugs you tightly. Breathing in your scent. He knows things will never be what they used to be, but at least he doesn’t have to hide anymore.
He finally feels like he could get better.
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It’s morning when Taehyung is woken up with a grunt. He feels the little body of his son bouncing up and down on his stomach.
After his long confession, the two of you stayed up for a little while longer talking and catching up. He told you about Jimin which made you laugh hysterically because “what a small world.” You had said and he agreed. He missed hearing you laugh and he’s happy he was the one to cause it..
Against his stubbornness he asked you about Jungkook and even offered some advice. As much as he loves you and you love him. Taehyung and you both know that there was too much broken trust between you two for things to ever go back to what it used to be. So, if he needs to watch you love someone else, then so be it. You deserve more than what he could even offer you. With the way your eyes light up when you talk about the younger man, he couldn’t help but feel happy too.
“Hyeon leave daddy alone.” You scold, both hands on your hips. Your hair is sticking up in all directions. Mornings were always his favorite when the two of you lived together. He got to see you in the rawest form and it made you look sexier than ever. Sure, he’s keeping his distance but that won’t stop him from thinking otherwise.
“But we made pancakes momma.” Hyeon’s tiny voice brings a smile to Taehyung’s face as he cracks an eye open, watching his son pout up at you. It is always fascinating how similar the two of you were in character. He’s sure that he’s seen you give him the same face before.
“And I’m sure he will love them but, daddy had a long night. Let him sleep a little longer.” The sincerity in your voice makes the butterflies in his stomach stir. Last night he decided to keep his distance from you, but he can’t help the feelings towards you that still linger inside of him. They’ve always been there no matter how hard he’s tried to push them away.
You were the first person he truly ever loved besides his mother.
Before Hyeon gets off of him, Taehyung quickly wraps his arms around his tiny body and pulls him close to his chest. Causing the little one to let out those giggles that always fill him up with joy. “Good morning, my little prince.” He says before attacking his little cheeks with kisses, making his son erupt laughter now.
You shake your head smiling before picking up one of your couch throw pillows from the floor. “I know I let you crash on my couch but it seriously looks like a tornado went through here.” You say before hitting the back of his head.
Taehyung grunts sitting up, bringing Hyeon into his lap. “Well good morning to you too momma.” He grins, bringing his hand up to push his hair away from his forehead. He desperately needs a haircut.
You roll your eyes, walking away into the kitchen. “Hyeon just finished setting the table, do you still like blueberry banana pancakes?”
“Yes I do.” Hyeon says, making the two of you laugh out loud. “Baby I think momma was asking me and the answer is yes I still love them.” Taehyung responds while standing up with Hyeon in his arms. The latter cuddles into his fathers chest as they make their way into the kitchen.
“Great! I was hoping because I made a lot.” You smile, picking up the plate of pancakes and walking past them to the dining table. It was small but it was enough for a family your size. Last night the two of you decided that you would work through your differences like adults rather than teenagers. You proposed a family day and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited. It was the first one in the last five years since Hyeon was born. It was long overdue, but it was a step in the right direction.
He can’t help but smile as he watches you parade around your apartment in a cute ivory apron, still in your pajamas, with your short hair in a messy low bun. He feels the guilt and nostalgia build up inside of him. He knows this would have been his normal if he hadn’t fucked up. Now, he’ll have to deal with the fact that will never be his normal, because it now belongs to someone else. Even if you don’t know it yet, he knows you well enough to know that you’ve fallen for a certain long hair, tattooed individual. He can only hope that he will treat you better than he ever did.
Still, it fills him up with joy that instead of pushing him away last night you pulled him closer and listened to everything he had to say. He can’t live without you, and having you as a friend was much better than not having you at all.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” He says setting Hyeon down in one of the chairs. He takes the seat next to him. “What do you guys want to do?”
You sit down in front of Taehyung, picking up the spatula to serve yourself some pancakes. “Picnic at the park? The weather is getting warmer and it’s a beautiful day outside.” You reason, handing Taehyung the spatula. He takes it while picking up Hyeon’s plate.
Your son's face lights up at ‘picnic’ making him sit up on his knees. “Yes, can Hana come please mommy?” He says clasping his hands in front of him and pouting. You pause smiling sadly, even though you’ve decided to finally try for real with Jungkook. You still feel a little guilty for kicking him out the way you did.. You want to apologize but you can’t help but feel annoyed with the way he referred to the situation. Taehyung will always be part of your life and now more than ever since you decided to give him a chance again. For Hyeon’s sake and your sanity you want to try fixing the relationship between the two of you.
Taehyung interjects before you can say anything. “I think Mommy and I want to spend time with Hyeon together. We can go on a picnic with Hana another day.” He says, glancing over at you. The ‘thank you’ you mouth towards him doesn’t go unnoticed and he nods acknowledging it. He puts Hyeon’s plate down in front of him and picks his own up.
“Okay.” Hyeon sighs, picking up his toddler knife and fork.
“Great, now eat up everybody we need a lot of fuel for the day we have ahead of us.” Taehyung says, making you laugh. Even though things are still a bit rocky between the two of you. He feels happy.
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“Your son has too much energy.” Taehyung says plopping down next to you on the picnic blanket out of breath. “I’ve never ran so much in my life.” He lays down on his back.
You laugh, smacking his stomach lightly making him groan. “You mean our son. But you’re right. Hobi and Jiwoo are convinced he’s going to be a soccer player when he grows up.” You smile watching as your son uses his tiny legs to maneuver the soccer ball around the open field.
It’s been two hours since you got to the park. That’s too many soccer tournaments, and the little boy hasn’t stopped for a rest. On the bright side, bedtime will be so easy tonight.
“I support it. Maybe he’ll be the next Son Hueng-min or the next number nine.” He rolls over to his side, propping his elbow up and resting his cheek against his palm. “What’s his name again?”
“Cho Gue-sung.” You say without hesitating, making him laugh. He won’t lie he heard you and Jiwoo thirsting over said soccer player earlier today while you were getting ready. You turn to face him, shoving him. “Stop laughing, he's good at what he does.”
“Yeah but his abs make him memorable right?” He says in between laughter. “I heard you and Jiwoo this morning. And like I agree but I can’t believe the two of you sat through all those games just to get a glimpse of them.” He finishes sitting up again.
You shrug, “I mean they were also good games.”
“Yeah, I wish I could’ve come along to some of those watch parties.” He says sadly. He saw all the instagram stories and it hurt him a little bit knowing he wasn’t invited, but that’s something he will have to live with. Hopefully now that he’s trying to take steps forward with you, he can also try fixing his friendships too.
“Hey, don’t do that.” You poke his shoulder. “They wanted to invite you but I told them not to, I’m sorry.”  You sigh, bringing your knees up to your chest.
Taehyung shakes his head and looks over at you. “No, don’t be sorry I understand, but it is nice to know they still think of me from time to time. Even when I don’t deserve to be thought about.”
You sit up on your knees and make your way into his line of sight. “You’re not a bad person Tae. Even when you’ve hurt me the most I’ve never thought of you as a bad person. I didn’t really understand what made you change so quickly. And you’ve made lots of mistakes but the fact that you’re willing to get better despite everything is better than anything. Plus, they still love you so much, they too just want you to get better.”
“Thank you, I promise I’ll do better. For you, Hyeon, and everyone.” He whispers looking down tracing the little flowers printed on to the picnic blanket.
“I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this, but Tae, don’t do it for us, we will always be there for you. I want you to do this for yourself. You deserve to be happy and live a life without suffering so much.”
He nods, looking up, squinting as the sun hits his eyes directly. “I know, I know but I also need you to know that I won’t give up on you guys anymore. I’m here to stay.”
“And I am happy that you are.” You finish.
It’s been a while since the two of you sat silently without dreading it. You watch happily as Hyeon runs from the makeshift goal and back to the middle of the field. It’s comfortable and everything the two of you ever wanted. It feels nostalgic in some sort of weird way. Maybe it’s because you both are aware that this was what it was meant to be like. And maybe in another universe it is exactly like this, but you also feel comfortable knowing that your little family doesn’t have to be complete in the traditional way to still have moments like these.
“I’m signing up for an outpatient program on Monday. Jimin is helping me out with the paperwork. But I think this is the best option for me, and I’ll still go to therapy once a week and the AA meetings, and I think I’m going to quit my job at dad’s company. For once I want to do something I love.” Taehyung confesses, taking you by surprise.
You have no words, but you feel so happy that you could cry. This is everything you ever wanted for him. To finally put himself first. So you cry and you hug him tightly, catching him off guard for the second time in the past twenty four hours.  
“Tae, I’m so fucking proud of you. I mean it.”
70 notes · View notes
writtenwhalien · 2 years
Text
patient love | pt.2
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banner by the talented val @eerieedits​ ❣️
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pairing ↠ taehyung x reader
genre ↠ roommate au | college au | holiday au | best friends idiots to lovers au | fluff, (eventual) smut, angst.
summary ↠ Taehyung considers himself to be many things, and stupid isn’t one of them. However, all it takes is one special person in his life to realise that he is, in fact, quite stupid, especially when it comes to his feelings. And you (said special person), are stupid squared.
word count ↠ 13.1k
18+ | warnings ↠ same confused feelings as pt. 1, less sexy things happening and now we have angst *sigh*
notes ↠ this is so overdue, i’m sorry. (christmas was like six months ago but it’s still set at the same time). i hope you enjoy it though! <3 i’ll try to be much faster for the next (and most likely final) part! xo (also some part feel a bit stilted and/or rushed to me but i’m getting back into the flow of things so please excuse me lol).
taglist is open!
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“Are you suuure you don’t wanna come and see a movie with me?” you ask Jimin for the fifth time today. 
He laughs, closing up the till before turning to you. “Y/N, I love you and I know you love me, but a movie’s just not gonna happen.” 
“Oh, come on, we don’t have to watch a movie then, what if we go get something to eat?” 
Jimin’s eyes narrow, scrutinising you. “You have leftover pizza at home from the party yesterday, which is your favourite when it’s reheated, and you wanna buy more food?” 
Damn. He got you there. 
Humming, you try to brush off his suspicions. “I’m just in the mood to go out, you know?”
“Not really.” He leans onto the counter to get a better look at your face. “Seems like to me, you don’t wanna go home for some reason…”
“What?” Your eyes widen for a split second before you attempt to relax. “Why would I not want to go home?” you ask quickly. 
“I don’t know,” Jimin murmurs, still clearly suspicious. “What are you hiding, Y/N?”
I made out with my best friend last night, who is also your best friend— oh, and I did it whilst I’m seeing someone else and now I’m avoiding both of them because what else does a girl do in this situation?
You practically ran out of the house half an hour earlier than usual today, all because you wanted to avoid even seeing Taehyung. You haven’t said anything to him since last night, and you don’t know what you would say. 
“Nothing,” you answer hotly. “I just wanna spend time with you, we only ever really hang out at the cafe, I thought it would be nice to spend time somewhere else.”
Jimin stands up straight, smiling. “That sounds nice, although I already made plans to meet with Namjoon and Hoseok for dinner today—“
“That’s fine, I’m cool with that,” you interrupt, jumping to your feet with a smile. “I’ll just finish off these tables and we’ll go, yeah?”
“Alright,” Jimin shrugs. “But don’t think I don’t know you’re hiding something,” he adds, turning back to finish cleaning the counters. “You’ve got a shit poker face.”
“It’s not that shit,” you mumble, picking up the last of the dishes.
Jimin looks up. “So you are hiding something then?”
You purposely busy yourself with cleaning the table. “No, I just don’t think my poker face is that bad.”
“Yeah, right,” he snorts. “You’ve got it on now, it’s shit.”
He’s right, and you know it, but you know you’ll give yourself away the more you try to fight it. Jimin definitely notices when you so blatantly try to change the subject though, asking where you’ll be going for dinner, but he says nothing else on the matter and goes along with it.
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For Hoseok, however, the same attempt to change the subject doesn’t work. 
“But you hate being out this late on a Sunday,” he states simply. “You’re always complaining about your lectures being so early the next day.”
Rolling your eyes, you pull the nachos away from him. “Well I clearly don’t mind today.” You take a bite and chew this slowly. 
“Okay, fine,” Hoseok says, taking the nachos back. “You wanna spend Sunday night out…” For a second, you think he’s gonna drop it, but this is Hoseok — he misses nothing. “But you have a whole ass boyfriend and you wanna spend time with us?”
Scowling, you take the nachos from him again, ignoring the guilt that pools in your stomach as you eat them slowly. You haven’t spoken to Ivan since yesterday at the party; even after he called, you didn’t respond and only texted back this morning saying that you weren’t feeling great. You’re not quite sure how you’re supposed to face him after yesterday. Sure, he’s not your boyfriend, but he’s as good as considering you’ve been seeing no one else but each other since the first date, and he’s made it very clear how much he likes you. 
Still, you’re always quick to remind yourself and others of it. 
“He’s not my boyfriend, Hobi, I told you that already.” 
“Okay,” he smiles. “Boy toy, hubby, whatever you wanna call him.”
Looking up, you arch a brow at him. “Hubby? Really?”
He shrugs. “My point still stands, why us?”
From beside you, Jimin groans quietly. “Hobi, just let it go, I wanna order some actual food now.”
“Yeah, Hobi, just let it go,” you repeat, snarking playfully. 
Letting out a sigh, Hoseok leans back into his seat. “Fine, I’m just making sure things are good.”
Just before you can answer, a quiet snort comes from Namjoon. “From what I saw, they’re good.”
“Oh, come on,” you mumble, cheeks warming — you know now that Hoseok and Jimin are going to want to know what happened if Namjoon says anymore, and while normally you wouldn’t mind the inevitable teasing, you honestly can’t remember much of your kiss with Ivan. 
Sure, you remember what happened and how it happened, but you can’t remember how it felt. Every time you think about it, your mind always returns to Taehyung, and the kiss you shared with him. 
Hoseok perks up. “Ooh, what did you see?”
“All I’m saying is, if I didn’t come in when I did,” Namjoon wiggles his brows, “we probably wouldn’t have seen Y/N for the rest of the night—“
“Joon!” 
“Sorry,” he says while grinning, and Jimin and Hoseok break out into laughter. 
“I guess I won't be asking again then.”
Averting your gaze from their smiling eyes, you purse your lips together and tug on the edge of your sleeve. 
None of them notice your unusual quietness in a moment like this, until a few seconds later. 
After exchanging a glance you don’t see, Jimin nudges you gently. “Hey.”
Looking up, you hum quietly. 
“This is good, right? Last time you weren’t so sure.”
Hesitating, you silently curse yourself for putting yourself in this situation — you hate you to your friends more than anything. 
“Unless you’re still feeling unsure?” Hoseok says, reading you like a book. 
As guilt creeps in on you, you shake your head. “I just don’t think I wanna talk about it.”
That’s all it takes for the guys to nod, and Namjoon stealthily changes the subject to last night’s football game. 
Listening idly, your mind eventually wanders off. Even here with your best friends, you're shit at hiding what’s up and you know it won’t be long at all before they piece things together, Jimin was already doing just that back at the cafe. Besides, Taehyung is one of your best friends, you can’t hide from him forever. 
It’s clear to you that you need to talk to him, but for some reason, you find yourself wanting to know what he thinks about all of this — does he feel as guilty as you? Does he also feel as confused as you?… You’re aware that you shouldn’t be feeling confused — you’re dating Ivan and Taehyung is your best friend, what happened last night was a mistake. And yet, you can’t stop the soft fluttering you feel in your chest whenever you remember the feeling of Taehyung’s hands on you. 
It’s easy enough to pin it down as you just being a horny fuck, considering it’s been a long time since you’ve had any action, but you know for sure that you don’t feel this way about the moment you shared with Ivan.
A part of you questions why that is, the answer there in the back of your mind but you don’t let it surface. It's been such a long time since you’ve met anyone who makes you feel as comfortable and happy as Ivan does — that’s when you don’t consider the people who have already been in your life, Taehyung included. But there’s a reason you started dating Ivan, and you still stand by the decision to do so. Nothing’s changed with him, in fact, things are only going upwards and he’s probably anticipating hearing back from you after you nearly went to third base last night. 
He’s also probably wondering why you haven’t responded to his calls from last night, and his texts this morning. 
Turning your phone over on the table, you glance at the screen and suddenly your heart beats a little harder. Taehyung messaged you a little over an hour ago. 
 [18:34] Tae: hey, I’m gonna go grocery shopping today, do you need anything?
 Huffing, you turn your phone over again. You don’t know what else you expected from him, and you actually did need more granola and fruit for your breakfast but he’s probably already gone and come back home by now. 
The waiter finally appears with the food, and as you enjoy your food, you decide to stop sulking and join the boys in their conversation in the hopes of taking your mind off of Taehyung. Clearly sitting here and sulking isn’t helping you feel any better so you might as well try to enjoy the rest of your night out before you go home and deal with whatever is waiting.
“So, are we all going to that frat party next week?” Namjoon asks.
Through a mouthful of shrimp taco, Jimin asks, “The Christmas one?”
Namjoon nods in response. 
“Yes, of course we are,” Hoseok says, topping his taco with extra guacamole. “Right, Y/N?” he adds without even looking your way. 
“Yes, we are,” you answer, sounding almost sarcastic as you smile plastically at Hoseok.
He glances your way, shrugging when he catches your expression. “Was just making sure.”
Rolling your eyes, you turn your attention back to your food. “Is anyone dressing up for it?”
“It’s not Halloween,” Namjoon garbles with his mouth full. 
“No, but it’s Christmas,” you say. “You can still wear a Santa hat or something.”
The boys mumble in response and you know they won’t bother with it, so you make a mental note to buy them all something festive to wear on the day.
Hoseok swallows his bite before looking around to catch a waiter's attention. “Who wants a drink?” he asks. “It’s on me.”
Just as he flags one down, a small chorus of “me’s'' comes from your table and the rest of the evening passes by quickly in good company. Though you don’t drink too much, not wanting to go home inebriated to end up doing something stupid again when you inevitably see Taehyung. 
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“You know I’m perfectly capable of walking home myself.”
“Mhm,” Hoseok hums merely in acknowledgement, keeping his arm linked with yours. 
“Seriously, I didn’t even drink that much, Hobi.”
“I know you didn’t.”
Huffing, you try to pull your arm from his. “Then let me go.”
“I’m only holding you ‘cos I’m cold, you idiot,” he sighs, tugging you on as he keeps walking in the direction of your apartment. 
Grumbling under your breath, you give up and walk arm in arm with him towards your apartment.  
Hoseok hasn’t said much on the walk home, nor does he say anything else as you keep walking, but he walks you all the way towards the apartment entrance, stopping only at the bottom of the stairs leading into the building. 
“Thanks,” you say, turning towards him. “You really didn’t need to though.”
He shakes his head. “I live five minutes from here, it’s fine.” 
Humming, you’re just about to lean in to give him a quick hug before he talks again. 
“Tae is probably already at home,” he says casually, looking up at the building briefly.
You hum again, unintentionally looking down towards the floor as you’re reminded of Taehyung and the fact that you’re about to walk in and see him. 
“Something’s bothering you…”
Looking up, Hoseok meets your face with a concerned frown. You’re just about to say something, but he interrupts before you can. 
“You don’t need to say anything, I’m not asking you to. I just hope everything is okay.” His lips turn into a small smile. “It’s been a while since you dated anyone and you were happy just a week ago but today when we mentioned Ivan, you just looked all stressed and tense.”
“I know,” you mumble with a sigh. 
“Normally the start of a relationship is fun,” he continues with a cheeky smile, “honeymoon phase and all that.”
“I know,” you repeat with a whine, realising how right he is — not even a month into dating Ivan and you’ve already fucked it up for yourself. 
Hoseok sighs, pulling on your arm to bring you into a hug which you welcome. “Take your time with everything, okay? Just because things have been good with Ivan doesn’t mean you need to feel like you owe him or yourself anything.” He pauses, pulling back as he hesitates before he adds, “and you’re always allowed to walk away if it’s not what you want.”
Features pulling into a frown, you stare at him. Have you made it obvious that something has happened?
“What makes you say that?” you ask. 
He shrugs, concealing the slightest hint of a smile. “Just… maybe he’s not the one for you.”
Taehyung immediately comes to mind and you internally curse yourself. Before you can even respond to Hoseok, he’s already stepping away with his usual smile. “Get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Waving, you turn away and get ready to face Taehyung—
“Hey, Y/N!”
Hoseok’s voice has you turning around again. 
“Think about what you want, okay?” he says, too cryptic for your liking. 
“Huh?”
“I’m just saying, maybe there’s a good reason you’re feeling like this. Don’t overcomplicate it.” With a sly wink, he turns around and walks back down the road. 
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Taehyung hasn’t texted you since that last message. It’s been more than three hours since you’re normally home and you wonder if he’s perhaps waiting up for you to make sure you get home. Of course, he could’ve just texted, but maybe he didn’t want to seem like an overbearing friend after last night’s events – when his tongue was down your throat and you loved every second of it. 
A part of you is annoyed that he hasn’t said more, or even reached out to ask to speak with you about it, although you don’t know what you would expect him to say… hey, Y/N, so that was a great kiss last night, let’s do it again sometime? Or, hey, Y/N, huge mistake last night, I regret it so much… — see that would just hurt your feelings. 
Pausing outside your apartment door, you take a few seconds to collect yourself before entering.
The lights are all off except for the tall floor lamp which spreads its warm colour all throughout the room. You naturally walk in quietly, wondering if perhaps Taehyung has gone to bed. 
But then you see his sock covered feet extending out from the couch edge, and as you approach, you’re immediately endeared by the sight of him sleeping on the couch, fluffy hair covering his forehead with an open book laying across his chest. 
You can’t help the way your chest tightens and the sound of Hoseok’s voice returns to you, echoing what he last said to you, and as though the pieces are suddenly falling into place, you remember what Imani said to you in the kitchen last night just before Ivan turned up. 
“Although, I have to be honest, I was surprised when I heard you were dating someone.”
At this, you frowned. “Why?”
Pursing her lips, she shrugged. “I thought there might be someone else, but I guess I was wrong.”
Has it been that obvious to everyone but you? Have you really been falling for your best friend this whole time? 
Thinking about it now, it seems like it would be almost impossible not to… you’ve always found comfort in Taehyung, preferring his company to others and finding little reminders of his love for you in whatever way he chooses to show it, whether it be the sandwiches he makes and leaves in the fridge for you, or the random cheek kisses he gives you, or even the times he makes sure to pick up after himself, knowing how much you hate mess. 
Just as you’re about to walk away to find a blanket to place over him, he stirs quietly, stretching his limbs as his eyes open groggily. 
Pausing in place at the end of the sofa, your mind falls blank as he catches sight of you. His eyebrows furrow softly and he sits up, rubbing his eyes before closing his book. 
“I fell asleep,” he mumbles. 
Naturally, your lips turn into a smile. “Were you not supposed to?”
“No, I was…” his eyes meet yours and he trails off, lips parted. Looking at them sends a gentle shiver down your spine, a little reminder of last night. 
It’s easy to see Taehyung is thinking the same. His eyes briefly flit down to your lips before shaking his head. “No, I wasn’t,” he says quietly. 
He doesn’t need to say more for you to know he was staying awake to wait for you to come home. Though, since you’re home past midnight, he fell asleep. 
Nodding once, you find yourself feeling a little awkward with him and it’s no doubt got to do with the fact that neither of you have said anything to clear the air about what happened last night. 
“You’re not normally home this late,” Taehyung says, the soft tone giving away his underlying concern. 
“Yeah, I know.” You purse your lips subconsciously, giving away your hesitancy as you play with the end of your coat sleeves. 
As usual, Taehyung doesn’t miss this. Placing his book on the table, he stands up and takes a step towards you. “Have you eaten?” he asks. 
“Mhm.”
“Well, d’you want some tea?”
Looking at him, you frown. “Why?”
Hesitating, Taehyung looks down at the space between you for a moment to collect his thoughts before he looks up, releasing a small sigh. “You’re avoiding me.”
You’re about to blurt an excuse and tell him it’s not true, but Taehyung quickly carries on, but not without taking another step that doesn’t go unnoticed by you. 
“I don’t blame you,” he says. “Honestly, I was about to do the same but when you didn’t come home, I realised I don’t want both of us to avoid each other over something stupid like last night.”
Stupid. Of all the adjectives he could’ve used to describe last night, he just had to go with stupid. You almost want to laugh at yourself for being so naive, but another part of you is annoyed at Taehyung and you let out more of a scoff — he instigated last night more than you did, and you’re more than sure he was into it. So why does he now get to call it stupid? 
Yet, as you look at him now, wearing an expression of apprehension and careful consideration, you realise you can’t be mad at him — he’s right, last night was stupid. 
“We live together,” he continues. “It’ll be hard for us to avoid each other forever anyway.” He watches you carefully before tentatively reaching for your hand. His fingers curl around your palm as you meet his gaze. “And you’re my best friend,” he says softly. “I don’t think I’d be okay with not talking to you.” 
Words catch in your throat and instead, you nod stiffly. Does he really not know how you’re feeling…? You feel like you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve right now and you imagine it would be easy for anyone to see the turmoil you’re in right now. 
Clearing your throat, you break into a smile. “You’re right.” With a small squeeze of his hand, you let go. “We’ll forget it even happened, I don’t want us to be weird with each other either.”
Taehyung smiles, though you can still sense his hesitancy. “Good.”
“Well, I’m gonna go to bed now.” Picking up your bag, you turn towards your room and ignore the feeling of his eyes on you. “I have lessons all day tomorrow but I’ll be home by dinner.”
“Great, I’ll ask Seokjin if he can make your favourite then?” he asks. 
Turning around at your bedroom door, you give him another convincing smile. “Sure, I’d love that.”
His smile widens and you feel your chest tighten. Thinking of being around him feels impossible all of a sudden, but as you say good night and close your bedroom door, you remind yourself that you’ve lived with him for this long without realising your feelings, so all you have to do is go back to that and focus your attention on Ivan.
Can’t be that hard, right? 
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“I won’t be seeing you again until after Christmas now, so please enjoy your holidays and don’t forget to turn in your assignments before the 18th!” 
Your professor’s voice echoes in the lecture hall as everyone packs up, mumbling their greetings in return. 
Being at the back of the class, you simply pack up and leave through the closest exit. Namjoon and Jungkook are waiting to have lunch with you but you need to quickly pop by the library first to return a textbook which is less than a few hours from putting a dent into your wallet. 
Skipping up the steps in the main campus building, you mindlessly walk down a few more corridors. Well, not mindless — your head is full of thoughts, it’s just that they’re the same repetitive thoughts going through your head again and again. All to do with Taehyung as you aimlessly overthink all the encounters you’ve had with him recently. 
Just as you reach the double doors of the main library, your phone begins vibrating in your pocket. Sliding it out, your stomach flips when you see Ivan’s name. 
Pausing outside the library, you answer the call. “Hello.”
“Hey, Y/N.” Ivan’s voice is as calm as ever and you have to remind yourself that he, of course, has no idea about what happened between Taehyung and you. 
“Hey, what’s up?” you respond, schooling yourself to calm down.
“Just a quick question, are you free tomorrow during the day?”
“Umm, let me check.” You quickly open up your phone calendar and see the day empty except for one class in the morning. So you’re free, but you ask yourself if you want to be free to see Ivan. A part of you wants to say ko, and to bury yourself in a pity hole where you can feel sorry for your stupid crush on Taehyung, but the logical part of you knows not to do that. You need to focus on yourself and that involves dating Ivan as you have been. 
So you answer, “Yeah, I’m free after 12, why?”
“Perfect, would you like to come shopping with me? I have a few gifts I still need to get and maybe I can make you dinner after too.”
Despite everything that’s happened the last two days, the offer still puts a smile on your face. “Sure, that sounds perfect.”
“I’ll pick you up from campus around 12.30 then, yeah?”
“Yes, that's great.”
“Great,” Ivan says, and you can hear his smile through the phone. “Bye, babe.”
“See you,” you answer quickly, ending the call before your voice reacts to his pet name. Releasing a small sigh, you put your phone away and enter the library to make your way over to the self service station. 
It makes you feel bad that you can’t even enjoy the possible start of something new with Ivan. He’s only ever been sweet to you and who knows, he could be the one! If only you weren’t so hung up on your best friend who you live with which only makes things worse. 
As you scan your books to return, you remind yourself of the decision you made to focus on Ivan. Tomorrow is a perfect day for you to spend with Ivan and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy yourself. 
“Y/N!” 
An excited voice calling out your name has you freezing. 
“Y/N Y/L/N!”
Again. It’s a voice that you hoped would never hear again, or at least not while you’re still in college.  
Turning around slowly, you come face to face with one of the most beautiful girls you’ve ever come across, sporting a fake smile, though it’s so perfect you almost think it’s genuine. 
Nisa Madan. 
“Y/N, I knew it was you,” she says with a wave of her hand as she walks over to you. 
“Hi,” you answer curtly with your lips pursed in a smile before turning back to your books. The quicker you return them, the quicker you get away from Nisa. 
“It’s been so long,” she says, leaning up against your station. 
“Has it?” you ask, your tone bordering completely unbothered. 
“Yes, I last saw you like, what, six, seven, maybe eight months ago?”
“I guess, yeah.”
“So what are you up to these days?”
Pointedly swiping your student card at your station, you shrug. “Same as always.”
“Hm, that’s good to hear,” he says dismissively. “I was wondering when I might see you again.”
You merely hum nonchalantly, but Nisa keeps talking. 
“It’s good timing really, I’ve been thinking a lot about you guys and how much I miss you.”
As you place the last book in the return basket, you feel the cogs whirring in your head, piecing together what she says before she says it. 
“Well, actually, just Taehyung.”
There it is. 
“Don’t get me wrong,” she says quickly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Jin, you, and all the other guys were all great company, but, well, there’s just no one like Tae.” She pauses, shrugging with a small frown. “Or at least, no one who fucks like him anyway.” 
Exhaling slowly, you turn to look at her stupidly perfectly face. You can’t blame Taehyung for having dated her in the past based on looks alone, or even considering she’s pretty smart too with above average grades, but personality wise, Nisa is unbelievably obnoxious. 
It just occurs to you now, that maybe part of the reason you dislike her so much has to do with the not-so-little revelation you made just last night — maybe a part of you is just jealous of Nisa because she was the object of all his affections for almost a year. 
That is, until she went and broke up with him. 
Yeah, that is still the main reason you dislike her. You’d never seen Taehyung show so much care and attention to any relationship before, but Nisa had no care for any of that as she still fucked around with other guys and played with Taehyung’s feelings before calling it quits. 
She knew she was using him all that time while knowing full well just how much Taehyung cared for her, yet she still put him through months of endless games. 
Nudging her hand off of your shoulder, you smile as plastically as she does. “That’s good to hear, I’ll be going now so bye.”
Ignoring your attempt to end the conversation, Nisa chooses to walk in stride with you as you leave the library. “Maybe I’ll see you later on today, actually.”
“And why would we be seeing each other again?” you ask with a very obvious sigh. 
“It’s like I said, I’ve missed Tae. I’d love to see him again, maybe like we used to, you know?”
It’s hard to stop the scoff that escapes you. “And what would Taehyung think about that?”
Pursing her lips, she takes a few seconds before answering. “I’d have to work on that.”
“Hm, and how do you plan on doing that?”
She shrugs again, about to answer when you hear a voice calling her. Pausing, she turns around. 
You’re just about to use this as your chance to get away, when the same voice speaks again and his tone has you looking back. 
“Where d’you think you’re going?” He’s a tall guy, must be around the same age as Nisa and you although you don’t recognise him. He approaches Nisa with a frown and she rolls her eyes, not so discreetly. 
“I told you I’d meet you by your car, why are you here?”
As he towers over Nisa, you find yourself coming to stand close to her as though you’re waiting for her. 
“You were taking long,” he says, grimacing. “And why is it I come up here and hear you talking about another guy fucking you?”
Nisa rolls her eyes again. “Get over it, Josh. You’re not the first guy I’ve been with and chances are you won’t be the last.”
As Josh stands there momentarily dumbfounded, Nisa uses this as a cue to turn back to you. 
“So,” she says, carrying on right where she left off, “how about I start by having lunch with you?” She slips her arm into yours as you walk down the corridor. 
“Wait, what?” you ask, mind still wondering who Josh is, and why Nisa is even hanging out with someone as intimidating as him. 
“I’ll have lunch with you,” Nisa repeats with a bright smile. “You know, so I can work on getting close to Tae again.”
Unconsciously, you stiffen. “Nisa, I don’t think Tae wants to get close again?” you say, posing the statement as a question. 
“Why not?”
“Because he already gave you a chance, too many if you ask me.”
Nisa sighs, lips jutting out into a pout. “But there’s no one like him, I know that now and I’m ready to show how serious I am.”
Hearing her say that out loud has you wondering if Taehyung would ever take her back. There’s no doubt that he really did like Nisa; even though she’s obnoxious, he only ever saw the sweet, charming side of her. Just the thought of it has your jaw clenching and you have to ignore the pit of jealousy that stirs in your stomach. 
“You had many chances to do that when you were with him, Nisa, which was months,” you say, trying only to sound like a concerned friend. 
Somehow, you’ve ended up outside still walking arm in arm with her, and you only realise when you catch sight of Namjoon and Jungkook frowning at you. 
Looking back at Nisa who still wears an apologetic pout, you pull your arm away from her. “Okay, so I’m gonna—“
“Oh, hey, Joon! Jungkook!” Nisa’s pout transforms to a dazzling smile and she’s strutting away from you and towards your friends before you can even finish your sentence. 
Cursing inwardly, you follow behind her. When the boys glance back between you, you shoot them a look that very clearly says ‘don’t ask’. 
“It’s been so long,” Nisa says with dramatic flair. “Last time I saw you guys was what, seven, eight months ago?”
As she more or less repeats exactly what she said to you earlier to them, you can’t help but roll your eyes and cross your arms, just waiting to see how this plays out. 
The boys amicably agree, mumbling about how it’s been a while. 
“Gosh, Kook, you’ve definitely gone bigger since the last time I saw you,” Nisa says, eyes narrowing as she boldly squeezes his arms. 
Jungkook only smiles, proudly flexing for her too. “I mean, I go gym a few times a week, it’s nothing really.”
Nisa giggles sweetly, stepping closer to him. “This isn’t nothing.”
That inflates Jungkook’s ego even more. “Yeah, I guess I have been upping my weights a little recently.” 
Namjoon and you only stand there, very openly judging Jungkook as he basks in Nisa’s flattery. When he glances your way, you both make sure he sees the judgement coming off of you, eyes narrowed and grimacing, which seems to snap him out of it.
Clearing his throat, he straightens up and the smile disappears from his face. “Anyway, it was good to see you but uh, I, we got plans.”
“For lunch?” Nisa asks. 
“Uh, yea—“
“Great, I’ll join you,” Nisa quips, linking arms with Jungkook as she did with you.
Jungkook and Namjoon exchange glances while you let out a sigh. You’ve spent plenty of time with Nisa before to know she often gets what she wants by way of being persistent and annoying, and like now, it works because you’re not bothered to keep politely declining (and despite the many negative feelings you have towards her, you can never bring yourself to rudely decline her). 
“Will Taehyung be joining us?” Nisa asks the question with too much excitement for your liking. 
“No,” you snap, before grumpily joining arms with Namjoon and pulling him along to walk ahead of Nisa, leaving Jungkook to deal with her as you walk to your favourite deli. 
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“Sometimes I just wish I could get a sock and shove it in her mouth, you know?” 
Ivan snorts on his hot chocolate, breaking into laughter as he hastily wipes around his mouth. 
“I’m being serious,” you say, passing him a tissue. “She just talks and talks and before you know it you’re stuck at a table having lunch with her while she goes on about her summer and how hard it was because she had to choose between a road trip with her sister and her boyfriend, or a ski resort with her best friends.” 
You throw a few stockings into the trolley with a little more force than intended, though you can’t help it after you just spent all of your lunch time with Nisa. 
Turning towards Ivan with a massive candy cane in your hand, you point it towards him as you continue. “Which is a stupid choice by the way.” You didn’t actually want to weigh in with your opinion to Nisa so you do it now instead. “She should’ve gone on the ski trip, I mean, the choice is a no brainer. You can do a road trip any time but if you have the chance to go with all of your friends to a ski resort… I mean, duh.”
Ivan chuckles, nodding his head in agreement as he takes the candy cane from you. “You want this?” 
Looking down at it, you frown, still feeling annoyed about Nisa. Although really there’s no reason for you to be this annoyed, except for your stupid crush on Taehyung. “No,” you mumble, turning away.
Before you can walk on, Ivan’s arm wraps around your front and he pulls you closer to him. “So you really don’t like this girl, hm?”
His warmth sends a shiver running down your spine, but there’s a sliver of guilt too. It’s becoming more increasingly apparent to you that you have a crush on Taehyung, yet you’re here, still trying to pretend your relationship with Ivan is normal just because you selfishly don’t want to ruin your friendship with Taehyung, and are afraid that he might not feel the same. 
As these thoughts cloud your mind, you mumble in response to his question. “No.” 
He nuzzles his face into your hair and it takes everything in you to relax. “She sounds like she can be quite difficult.”
“She is.” Your voice comes out quiet again as you start to sink into his chest, realising you’ve been talking about Nisa the whole time you’ve been with him which has been almost an hour so far from when he picked you up.
Just then, Ivan asks, “Hm, d’you wanna vent some more?”
Turning around in his arms, you meet his gaze, gentle eyes with a little concern but mostly amused. It’s moments like this that make you believe this could really work with Ivan, and the only thing stopping you, is yourself. 
His arm snakes further around you, pulling you even closer. As a small smile grows on his lips, Ivan smirks.
“I’m good,” you murmur, eyes briefly dripping to his lips. 
He quirks his brow. “You sure? You know I’m all ears for you.”
As you chuckle softly, you feel your cheeks grow warm. “Yeah, sorry, I’ve been talking about her all this time.” 
Ivan shrugs. “It’s okay, I like hearing you talk.” He says it so sweetly, you can’t help it when your face naturally leans in closer. 
“You better be careful otherwise I won’t stop,” you say quietly, eyes falling to his lips again. 
With his signature charming smile, Ivan laughs. “I don’t want you to, baby.”
He lowers his lips to yours, pressing soft kisses a few times at first, and it’s you who holds him by the neck to kiss him a little more. The whole time you wait in anticipation for the butterflies to come, but they don’t, and Ivan is pulling away before you can wait anymore. 
“Let’s pick this up later, hm?” There’s a playfulness in his tone as he raises his brows suggestively. 
“That depends,” you hum.
“On?”
“How satisfied I am with my dinner,” you shrug, turning away to keep walking. 
Ivan laughs, pulling the cart with him. “Babe, I’m an amazing cook, you’re gonna love it.”
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“What about this cushion?”
“Lame,” you sigh. 
“This candle?”
“He won’t ever use it.”
“Jin cooks right?”
“Yeah.”
“What about this?”
Turning around from the shelf with all the glassware, you see Ivan pointing at a very fancy looking knife block set on display behind glass. You walk over to him, eyes squinting as you read the label. “Sasaki masuta.” 
It would be a good present actually since Seokjin is always complaining about the lack of utensils and knives are always essential. 
Pulling out your phone, you do a quick search on the brand and after seeing only good reviews, you decide it’s perfect. 
“Thanks, Ivan,” you say, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before taking a picture so you can come back to it when you finish shopping. 
“You’re welcome,” he smiles, looking down at your phone as you tick off Seokjin’s name on your notes app. 
“Now for Taehyung,” you think out loud, returning to the snow globes you were looking at. 
“How about perfume?” Ivan asks. 
The thought of Taehyung and perfume has you remembering the scent of his oud and bergamot perfume… the last memory that comes to mind is when you were sitting on his lap and it’s enough to make your knees feel weak now. 
“He has enough,” you respond casually, trying to pull your focus from the memories resurfacing of that night. 
“You said he liked photography, what about something for that?”
“Hm, I could but he’s kinda picky when it comes to his equipment.” 
“Okay, what about a jacket or something? It’s always good to have choices,” Ivan suggests. 
“I could, but I want it to be more meaningful,” you say, idly browsing through some dishware. 
Ivan only hums, joining you as you look at the selection of plates and bowls. 
“You wanna get him a bowl?” Ivan asks jokingly, holding one up. 
Rolling your eyes playfully, you walk away towards another shelf full of snow globes that catch your eye. 
“What?” Ivan laughs, following behind you. “It’s good if he loves cereal.”
“He doesn’t, unfortunately.” Looking through the snow globes on the shelf, you’re reminded of a special night from two years ago. Seokjin had gone home for the holidays and it was only Taehyung and you. It was the first time you were spending Christmas away from home and although Taehyung had only known you for a few months, he still dragged you out of your room and into the snow outside. After sneaking into the cafeteria to find trays, you spent most of the night sledding down hills around campus and playing in the snow. 
“You’re gonna get him a snow globe?” Ivan asks while he idly browses through some of the trinkets. 
“Maybe,” you answer, still thinking it through.
“Isn’t that a bit thoughtless?” 
You spot one that looks perfect and take it off the shelf. “The opposite actually,” you smile. 
“Hm,” Ivan hums nonchalantly, “just don’t get him anything too special, you don’t wanna get his hopes up.”
“Sorry,” you frown, turning around immediately to look at him, “what?” 
You’ve never been one to appreciate other people telling you what to do and something about Ivan’s tone now tells you his words carry a lot more meaning. 
Shrugging, Ivan continues to look at the shelf in front of him. “It’s just kind of obvious that he fancies you.”
For a second, you’re speechless. Not only is it awkward for you having now realised that you do in fact have feelings for Taehyung that are more than friendly whilst you’re seeing Ivan, but having Ivan state so simply that Taehyung has feelings for you, it makes your stomach swoop — in a good way. But when you realise that it’s Ivan who’s saying it and why, it leaves you feeling rather uncomfortable.
“Okay, first of all,” you say, “I’ll buy Taehyung whatever the hell I want.” Your tone has Ivan glancing towards you. “And secondly,” you continue, keeping your voice as calm as you can, “he doesn’t fancy me.” 
Ivan raises his brows and for a second you think he’s about to challenge you and say something else, but then his lips purse and he only nods. “Okay, sorry, forget I said it.”
Now that is much easier said than done. For some reason, you keep remembering the look on Taehyung’s face right before he kissed you. It was more than just Iust in his expression when he said your name, asking for more, you’re so sure of it. But how are you supposed to be sure of that as long as you’re in a relationship with someone else? Someone else who can apparently see Taehyung’s feelings for you when you can’t even see yourself. 
“Shall we go?” 
Ivan’s voice pulls you from your thoughts and you nod. Walking with him to the cashier doesn’t feel the same, tension rife between you after the comment he made, though neither of you make any effort to clear the air. 
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“So this is the first time you’re coming to mine, right?”
It’s the first full sentence that has been exchanged between you besides the occasional closed questions such as ‘d’you want to listen to music?’ or ‘is it warm enough?’ during your car ride back to his apartment.
Truthfully, you’d forgotten that you’d be going back to his place and were a little confused when he drove past the turning you normally take to get home, and you only remembered a few minutes later. That’s probably because your head is still reeling from what he said earlier while shopping. 
“Uh, yeah, it is,” you answer, still mostly quiet. 
From the corner of your eye you see Ivan glance at you but he says nothing else as he presses the button to the elevator. He’s definitely aware that his earlier comment annoyed you and that you’re being more quiet than usual, and you appreciate he isn’t pressing you but you realise you ought to be more normal now that you’re about to spend the evening alone with him.
As the elevator doors open, both of you step inside and Ivan presses the button for the 12th floor, still saying nothing as you go up. 
It’s only when you’re walking down the hall to his apartment does he slow down, gently tapping your arm. 
“Wait,” he says abruptly, then going relatively pink as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. 
“What’s wrong?” you ask, though you’re fairly certain you know what’s wrong. 
“Uh, before we go inside, can we just clear the air between us?” He looks at you with his bottom lip pulled into his mouth and something about it is just endearing to you. Gosh, why does he have to be so charming?
“Sure,” you nod, releasing a small breath. The awkward tension was getting a bit too awkward for you. “Let’s forget it happened.”
“Okay,” Ivan nods, letting out a relieved sigh too. “I do apologise for it though,” he adds. “It was an unnecessary comment and I didn’t think about what I was saying.”
Lips pursed, you nod. There’s more you could say, but you’re afraid to say anything else in case Ivan tries to explain what he meant, to justify why he could possibly think Taehyung likes you, which would only give you false hope. 
“It’s fine, apology totally accepted,” you say. 
“Okay great,” Ivan lets out another sigh. “Can we hug it out?” Tilting his head, he stretches his arms out. 
You laugh, stepping into his arms and he breaks out into a grin. “Okay, I feel much better now.”
He steps away to swiftly get into his apartment and you follow behind him, taking off your shoes at the entrance and looking around as you walk further. It’s a modest apartment, similar to yours albeit a bit smaller since he lives alone. 
“So…” he says once you’re both in the kitchen. He raises his brows, looking around at the space. 
“It’s nice,” you answer.
“Just nice?”
“No, it’s really nice, I didn’t actually expect it to be this nice.” You give him a smile. 
“What?” he chuckles, “did you expect me to be a slob?”
Shrugging, you settle into one of the kitchen stools. “I guess I did fall for the stereotype that you’d just be another messy guy, but I’m definitely being proven wrong.”
“You live with two guys, Y/N, and your apartment is one of the cleanest and tidiest I’ve ever seen.”
You shrug again. “Jim is a tidy guy and he keeps Taehyung in check.”
Ivan nods, a small smirk growing on his lips. “And who keeps you in check?”
“I keep myself in check, thank you very much.”
He nods again, stepping towards you. “I’m glad to hear. So I shouldn’t have any problems whenever you choose to spend time with me here?” 
“Are you offering me an open invitation to come whenever I want?” you ask, brow arched. 
“For you, yes.” He steps closer, leaning towards your face. “Whenever you want.”
Smiling, your expression shows you’re impressed. “That’s a big move.”
Ivan shrugs. “I believe in grand gestures.”
Humming, you tilt your head. “Noted. Though I’ll have to see how good you cook before I make any promises on accepting your invitation.”
He chuckles, pulling away to the sink. “You won’t be disappointed,” he says, washing his hands. 
“I hope not, I’m starving.”
He smiles, walking towards the fridge to collect ingredients. “Well how would you like to be my assistant in the kitchen?” 
“If you’re okay with a hazard being in your kitchen, then yeah let’s go for it.”
Ivan walks back towards you with a handful of vegetables which he places on the counter before getting a colander out from the cupboard. “The only hazard you pose is being too hot,” he answers matter-of-factly. 
As you burst into laughter, Ivan’s cheeks go pink as he facepalms and tries not to laugh at himself.
“That’s the cheesiest, most cringe thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Hey, at least I didn’t say anything like that on our first date.”
“Yeah, you probably wouldn’t have seen me again if you did.” 
Ivan’s expression softens a little. “And now?”
“Hmm…” you twist on the stool, subconsciously avoiding his gaze. “Now I know you better. 
“Or you like me too much,” he says with a smirk.
You throw him a sassy look. “Aren’t you supposed to be making my dinner?”
Laughing softly, he nods. “Yes, ma’am, let’s go.”
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After a few mishaps on your part in the kitchen, Ivan takes over fully and it’s almost two hours later that you’re finally getting to eat something. 
Through mouthfuls of food you praise Ivan’s cooking skills, eating mostly quietly as Ivan carries the conversation, telling you about his week including the antics of his football team. 
“Oh, Charlie’s the guy with the glasses right? Light brown hair?”
“Yeah that’s him,” Ivan answers, adding another serving of roast potatoes to your plate.
With a satisfied smile, you swallow what’s in your mouth and take a sip of your drink too. “He lives in the frat house, right? I think Jungkook was talking about some Christmas party he and the other guys are hosting.”
“Mm, yeah, they’re going all out for it but some of those guys have the money to spend so I guess it’s alright for them.”
“Whatever floats their boat,” you shrug. “Are you gonna go?”
“Yeah, most likely.” Ivan takes a sip of his drink, watching you savour a mouthful of food. “What about you?”
“Yeah,” you mumble with your mouth full. Swallowing, you nod. “Jungkook and Hoseok are pretty tight with some of the guys so they’ll probably ask us to come and I have no reason not to.”
“But do you want to?” 
“Yeah, I like the occasional party,” you hum.
“Hm, it’ll be nice to see you there,” Ivan says, a suggestive lilt to his voice. 
“See me there?” You raise a brow. “Shouldn’t you be asking me to be your date?”
Ivan laughs, revealing his charming boyish features again that makes your stomach swirl. “You’re right, I just didn’t wanna be too forward.” He leans forward, taking one of your hands.
Arching your brow with a mischievous, you lean forward too. 
“Y/N, would you be my date to the Christmas party?”
Squeezing his hand, you smile. “Absolutely.”
Naturally, Ivan’s eyes drop to your lips and he leans even closer to place a quick peck on your lips. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
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“Shall I put these in the fridge?” you ask, clasping the lids on the tupperware containing the leftover food. 
“Yes, please,” Ivan says, glancing over his shoulder as he finishes cleaning the dining table. 
After placing the food neatly in the fridge, Ivan places the last few dishes in the sink. 
“I can wash up if you like?” you offer. 
“No no.” He quickly puts on the washing up gloves. “Don’t worry, I’ll do them.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah of course,” he says, adjusting the temperature before starting. “This was my treat to you so please just relax.”
“Oh,” you smile, leaning against the counter. “What did I do to get treated?”
He shrugs. “Just existing I suppose,” he says with a smile that matches yours. “And for letting me date you.”
“Is that such a privilege?” you laugh. 
“Oh, huge privilege,” he says with an exaggerated flair. 
Feelin your cheeks warm, you hum quietly. “Well, I definitely appreciated the dinner. It was ten out of ten and that’s coming from someone who eats Jin’s food regularly.”
“So that’s definitely a compliment then,” Ivan says, stealing glances at you as he finishes washing up.
“Absolutely,” you hum, walking over to the fridge where there’s a few photographs stuck with various touristy magnets. 
They’re mostly with the same people who you assume to be his family, and a few with friends. “So no embarrassing Shrek like photos here, hm?” You turn around to see him smiling. 
“Nope. I’ve been the same ever since I was young.”
Taking off one of the pictures of him when he must’ve been a teenager, with a goofy grin and a very questionable haircut, you hold it up towards him. “Looks the same to me,” you shrug. 
Ivan laughs, placing the last clean dish to the side as he pulls off the gloves. “You’re on drying duty for that.”
Feigning offence, you pout and he makes his way over to you. “I thought I was being treated.”
“Hm, you were,” he says, sliding his hands around your waist. “But I’ve changed my mind.”
Ignoring the awkward way your body stiffens, you force yourself to relax into his embrace. “Meanie,” you mumble, lowering your head.
Ivan chuckles this time, low and smooth. “Well how about after you’re done, I treat you again?”
“More food?” you question. 
He shakes his head, a playful glint in his eyes. “I was thinking of something else.”
“Oh.” Oh.
Meeting your gaze, Ivan smiles softly. “If you want.”
“Um…” there’s absolutely no legitimate reason for you not to, besides the foolish crush you have on your best friend who, apparently, according to the tempting man standing in front of you, reciprocates those feelings.
Feeling Ivan’s warm breath on your neck stirs something inside of you, and when you accidentally glance down at his lips, you can’t help but lean forward just a little. 
Ivan responds, hand pressing into your back a little deeper. With your chest close to his, you lean in further and close your eyes, and sure enough, within a second, Ivan’s lips are on yours. 
He moves slowly at first, as though he’s testing the water, making sure you’re okay with it. Truthfully, you don’t know if you are.
With every second his lips are on yours, you feel your mind racing — it finds the thoughts and feelings from the night that seems to be burned into your memory. 
Ivan’s lips are on yours but you’re not thinking of him, his hands are on your waist but you wish them to be another’s. 
It’s no surprise to you that you suddenly go still, one firm hand on Ivan’s chest to get him to stop and he does so immediately.
“I’m sorry,” are the first words that come from him, making you feel so guilty for doing this to him. 
Shaking your head, you quickly respond. “No, it’s okay, I just, um, I don’t think I'm feeling well.” Hugging your arms around yourself, you do everything you can to avoid his gaze. 
You’re certain Ivan knows that’s a lie, but if he does, he says nothing like the gentleman he is. 
“That’s okay, do you wanna sit down for a bit? I can make you tea too if you like.”
The care in his tone has your stomach twisting. It almost feels like you’re cheating on him with your feelings for Taehyung, although you’re not actually dating (and not to forget that you have in fact made out with Taehyung whilst you’ve been seeing Ivan). 
“Sure,” you nod.
“Okay, it’s chamomile, is that good?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll make it now,” he says, tentatively reaching out to hold your back as you walk towards the couch. “Blanket is on the end of the couch if you want it,” he lets you know. 
Looking at him, you nod with a small grateful smile. He smiles back and it has your stomach twisting again. When he walks back towards the kitchen, you let out a small sigh. You have a lot of thinking to do. 
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For the fifth time, you put your alarm on snooze, hoping to doze off into a sleepless dream again but this time sleep doesn’t come. 
With a heavy sigh, you pry one eye open and look at the time. 12:07. It’s a good thing you don’t have a morning class today. Sitting up slowly, you throw the covers off and trudge towards the bathroom, eyes still half closed. Being left with an hour to get to your afternoon class is enough time but you’re moving at a snails pace and don’t particularly feel like your usual self this morning, the awkward ending from last night still replaying in your mind. 
After Ivan made you tea, you didn’t want to be any more rude than you already felt so you made sure to drink it down to its last drop. Thankfully Ivan did all he could to make you feel comfortable, even finding an old season of modern family and wordlessly paying for it so he could stream it for you to enjoy — it was almost a month ago you’d told him it was your comfort show and when you realised not only had he remembered that, but he also paid for the season, you couldn’t help but feel bad. 
After a mellow conversation, he offered himself to drop you off home and you accepted. Before you got out of the car, he didn’t make any move to give you his usual goodbye kiss but you went in for it yourself and he didn’t make anything seem awkward at all as you said goodbye. 
Honestly, you’re grateful for him and wish you could stop feeling so conflicted when there’s no doubt about him being such a good guy and you only realised your feelings for Taehyung a few days ago, though now that they’ve arisen you’re certain you’ve had feelings for him for far longer. Either way, you need to figure things out and be honest not just to Ivan, but to yourself as well.
That’ll have to wait a few hours though because right now you’re hungry and after that you need to get to class and focus. 
Walking towards the kitchen, you almost freeze when you see Taehyung is there too. His back is to you, broad shoulders still visibly flexing under the material of his loose tee, and the messy curls atop his head tell you he hasn’t brushed his hair this morning. 
Having heard you coming, he turns around and smiles. “Afternoon.” He holds out an iced coffee.
Stepping forward, you take it from him. “Thanks,” you smile, fighting the jittery feeling that stirs in the pit of your stomach. Maybe having a coffee isn’t a good idea. 
“I was gonna make you breakfast too but I couldn't be bothered, sorry,” he says, grabbing an apple from the bowl as you place the glass down on the counter. 
“That’s okay, I can make it,” you chuckle, taking the bread out. “I’m gonna have avocado toast and egg, you want some too?”
Taehyung hums. “Would love some, thanks,” he grins. “Can you scramble my egg though?”
“Sure,” you answer, turning around to face him with your eyes narrowed. “I bet you knew I was gonna offer, didn’t you?”
Laughing, Taehyung takes out the avocados from the fridge. “I made you coffee, you always make me breakfast after,” he shrugs. “But you make the best breakfast and I make the best coffee, so it works.”
Scoffing lightly, you take the avocados from him. He settles on the table as you prepare breakfast and you can’t ignore the fact that you’re acting awkward with him and it’s making your conversation feel rather stilted. 
It’s not like you can help it though when you made out with the guy a few nights ago and since then have realised you might be harbouring a fat crush on him. 
A short ten minutes later, you’re joining Taehyung on the table with a yummy breakfast to enjoy. 
“Thanks, Y/N,” he mumbles through his first mouthful of food.
“You're welcome.”
He swallows quickly, already preparing his second bite and you almost expect him to eat in silence as he enjoys his food but he doesn’t. “How was your dinner with Ivan yesterday?”
“It was good, but how did you know?” you ask. You know for sure you didn’t tell Taehyung or Seokjin where you were yesterday evening. 
“Jungkook told Hobi who told Jin, then Jin told me.”
“Ah,” you nod, smiling. “Right.” You remember telling Jungkook about Ivan inviting you for dinner when you had a brief moment alone with him away from Nisa at lunch yesterday. No doubt he was just excited for you, as are the rest of your friends. 
“You don’t mind, do you?” Taehyung asks, forgoing his manners as he asks through a big mouthful of food. 
“Not at all.”
“Good,” he nods. “So, did he cook for you?” 
Stealing a glance at Taehyung, he seems to be completely casual and although that makes you feel a certain type of way — maybe a part of you wants him to feel more bothered by it — you embrace the normalcy instead.
“Yeah, it was actually surprisingly good.”
“I bet I can make food just as good.”
Smiling, you take another bite before answering. “You only learnt how to boil pasta a few months ago.”
“Hey, it’s hard getting it to al dente,” he says a little defensively. “Besides, my skills have developed.”
“I wouldn’t try to compare yourself just yet,” you laugh. “You burnt frozen dumplings just a week ago.”
“I forgot to turn the heat down,” he frowns, looking up when you quietly laugh. “Alright, what else can he do that I can't do then?” he asks, his man sized ego coming out. 
“No way I’m not comparing you,” you say, shaking your head. 
“Why not?”
Because no one else compares to you, the voice in your head responds to you. Feeling yourself going warm, you answer simply, “Because, I just wouldn’t.”
Taehyung has always been able to pick up on any of your emotional cues so now you’re sure he can see right through you. The thought of it leaves you feeling somewhat embarrassed, so you force yourself to look at him.
“If I had to though,” you say, choosing your words carefully, “I’d say you’re fairly similar.”
He raises a brow in surprise. “We are?”
You shrug. “Yeah.” Now that’s a bit of a lie. “Why? Did you think you’d be so different?” 
“I guess so,” Taehyung answers slowly, making you wonder if he’s having to choose his words as carefully as you are. “I mean, you’re dating the guy so you’d see something special in him that I don’t have, no?”
The words sound almost vulnerable from him and if you weren’t looking at him you would most certainly think so, but there’s a small sly smile on his face (which, unknown to you, he’s having to put on).
“You guys are different in different ways.”
“Fair,” he nods. “Though I have to say, in the looks department, we’re both doing pretty good.” He takes another forkful of food and you can still see his smile when he looks at you while chewing. “Right?”
Fighting a smile, you refuse to give him the answer he wants to hear and keep eating. 
He smiles, leaning forward. “It’s alright, Y/N, it’s no secret you think I’m handsome. We established as much when I was basically stuck to you, remember?”
You almost facepalm remembering the other day in the kitchen and the conversation that passed. Not only had he told you he’s caught you checking him out, but he also called you attractive.
Looking at Taehyung, he gives you a devilish grin and you know he’s revelling in this. 
“Of course I think you’re handsome, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have made out with you the other night, would I?” you answer, casually taking a sip of your coffee.
It’s hard not to break into laughter when Taehyung’s own cheeks go pink and he seems to break into an embarrassed smile. “True,” he answers honestly. “And from what I remember, you seemed to be into it.”
Suddenly it feels a lot warmer in the room and instead of feeling awkward like you did a little while ago, everything Taehyung is saying seems to be encouraging you. 
“I could say the same about you.”
He lets out an amused laugh. “Oh, without a doubt,” he responds without thought. When he catches your gaze, he adds, “I was definitely into it.”
Your mind races, scrambling to acknowledge what he really means, but there’s a part of you — the insecure and helpless part — that refuses to go there. 
“Right, so what does it take for you then?” you say in the hopes of moving the attention away from yourself. 
He frowns in confusion. “What do you mean?” 
“For you to be ‘into it’?” you say, marking the last two words with finger quotation marks. “I’m definitely not the first girl you’ve made out with and I won’t be the last, so what does it take for you?”
At that, something in Taehyung’s expression flickers and if you’re not mistaken, you see a glimpse of annoyance.
A beat of silence passes before he says anything. “It changes I suppose,” he answers, curling the end of his straw and for a short moment he’s quiet again and you almost think you’ve pissed him off, but then he asks, “What about you?”
Slowly shrugging, you actually take a minute to think about the answer but besides your feelings for Taehyung, you come up short. “I guess it changes too,” you say, mirroring his response, and apparently his mood too as the atmosphere between you both changes to one that feels almost stifling in both a good and a bad way. 
It feels as though there’s more to say but you just can’t say it, yet you enjoy the feeling of being caught in such an honest conversation with Taehyung. 
“Can I ask you something?” Taehyung says while avoiding your gaze. 
Despite the way your nerves heighten, you answer normally. “Yeah.”
“It’s kinda personal though,” he says with a nervous smile. 
“That’s okay, I won’t answer if I don’t want to.”
He nods, lips pursed. “Okay, uh… did you sleep with him last night?”
“Oh.” Your cheeks grow warm for the nth time.
Taehyung almost immediately clarifies. “I just mean, because, well, we spoke about it that night and you were there kinda late last night but you didn’t stay so I just wanted to know… if everything was alright?”
“Um, yeah it’s fine. I don’t mind you asking,” you answer honestly. “And I haven’t,” you add after a pause.
He nods. “Everything’s okay though, right?”
Caught in the moment, you find yourself answering honestly. “Um, I don’t know…”
You immediately find concern in Taehyung’s expression and you have to rush to reassure him.
“It’s not Ivan, he’s always been sweet,” you say quickly. “It’s just me…” you trail off, unable to find the words to continue. 
“It’s okay to not feel like you don’t have an answer,” he says softly. “Keep taking your time with him if that’s what you want.”
Feeling a sharp rush of emotions, you look up. “What I want?”
Taehyung pauses, gaze holding yours for a moment and although it makes you feel completely bare, you don’t look away. He nods again. “Only if it’s what you want.”
Slowly, you nod as well, gaze falling to your food. 
“Sorry,” he says with an awkward laugh. “Did I make it awkward by asking that?”
Shaking your head, you smile. It is a little awkward, but it’s like you’ve never had awkward moments with him before. “No, I mean, as long as we don’t make it awkward.”
“You’re right, okay,” he nods, pushing his empty plate away from him as he leans on the table. “So Y/N, tell me about your day.”
“Well, it just started an hour ago.”
“Oh, yeah,” he says, deflating somewhat.
Fighting the part of you that wants to reach over and squeeze his cheek, you laugh quietly and ask him a question. “Why don’t you tell me about your day?”
“Well, I woke up early because I thought it was Thursday and Professor Clark is an ass to people who are late,” he says with much expression. 
“Oh, he’s the one who embarrassed you a few weeks ago right?”
“Made fun of my clothes and all, just ‘cos I was ten minutes late,” Taehyung sulks. 
“He’s not wrong though,” you say with a giggle. “Sometimes your clothes always look like your wearing pyjamas.”
Taehyung shoots you a look. “Being able to pull off comfort and style is a skill.” You shrug in response and he continues. “Anyway, then I realised it’s Tuesday and I don’t have class so I tried to go back to sleep but it didn’t work.”
You hum through a mouthful of food. “That’s annoying.”
“Trust me,” he sighs. “Then I just played PS4.”
You raise a brow. “All morning?”
He nods. “Had nothing else to do.”
“Could’ve worked on your assignment,” you say before taking the last sip of your coffee and slurping while keeping your brows raised at him pointedly and amused. 
He narrows his eyes at you. “You’re reminding me of Clark.”
Laughing, you lower the empty glass to the table. “I’m way nicer than Clark. If he was here he’d probably call out the fact that you haven’t even combed your hair today.”
Taehyung groans. “C'mon man, I’m at home today.”
As you laugh again, you have to briefly avert your gaze as he throws his head back in mock annoyance. 
“I didn’t say it looked bad,” you add. “It almost looks… cute.”
“You sure you’re not just saying that ‘cos it’s me?” he says with a cheeky raise of his brow. 
Smiling plastically, you lean your elbows on the table. “Absolutely not. It’s the hair and the hair alone.”
Taehyung opens his mouth and before he can say anything else, Seokjin enters. 
“Hey, guys,” he says, walking in casually.
Taehyung and you both respond in unison. “Hey.”
“Man, today has been a long morning,” he sighs, slumping into the seat beside Taehyung. 
“Classes?”
“And work,” he mumbles.
“They should pay you overtime for the way they extort you, I swear,” Taehyung says, reaching to massage Seokjin’s shoulders. 
“It sucks to be good at your job,” Seokjin mumbles again before sitting up in sudden frustration. “Oh and now they want me to work on the day of the boys’ Christmas party too!”
“Charlie’s?” you ask in surprise. Seokjin had made sure to have that evening off because it was the first time in a long time that Imani would be able to join him for a frat party.
He nods with a huff, slumping back into the chair. “I said no again though, but I gotta wait for management to get back to me.”
“Hopefully it’s okay,” you say, squeezing his arm. “If not, we’ll throw another party for you and Imani.”
Seokjin sits up, rounding his eyes at you. “You just threw my birthday party.”
“I’d do it again,” you answer with a shrug. “It’s kinda fun.”
Taehyung laughs. “You were stressed out for most of it.”
Narrowing your eyes at him, you strive to make a point. “I still organised the whole thing with my fabulous management skills.”
Taehyung scoffs, hiding a smirk. “Okay miss management skills, your time management needs working on.”
“Huh?” you frown. 
He arches his brow. “Don’t you have class in ten minutes.”
Eyes darting to the clock, you see it’s almost 1pm. With a string of curse words you’re rushing to your room and Taehyung laughs softly from behind you. 
Getting dressed into decent clothing, you rush towards the front door and see Taehyung standing there with your favourite snack bar and a banana. 
“In case you get hungry,” he says, zipping them into your bag as you slip into your shoes. 
“Thanks,” you say in haste as you rush out the door. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” he responds, watching you as you rush down the corridor. 
It’s only when you’re sitting halfway through your lecture that you realise how natural that exchange felt, and the thought of it warms your heart. 
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It’s when you’re halfway through your work shift that you get a text from Ivan asking to meet. At first you’re confused because he never usually asks to meet so last minute, but then he sends a follow up text saying he has something he wants to talk about. The message sends your thoughts spiralling but you do your best to ignore it for the remainder of your shift and luckily you have Jimin to help with that. 
But when you arrive at the agreed restaurant, it feels like there’s an elephant in the room as soon as you step foot inside. 
“Hey,” you say, taking a seat at the table he’s at.
He looks up, a smile gracing his lips when he sees you. “Hey.” He gives you a brief hug as is normal when you greet him.
“You want anything to eat?” he asks almost right away.
“Uh,” you pause, glancing at the menu. “Are you gonna eat?
Realising you’re making the decision based on his, Ivan nods. “Yeah.”
“Okay, yeah, I’ll get something too.”
Smiling, Ivan puts the menu in front of you ajd despite the feeling that he has something important he wants to say, you appreciate him trying to make you feel comfortable first. 
Even when the food comes and you eat, he keeps the conversation going, smiling and laughing as he normally would. 
It’s only when you’re done that you ask the question. “So what did you want to talk about?”
Ivan smiles, though this one is different to the ones you’ve seen before. It’s apologetic and seems a little sad. 
“Us,” he says quietly. “Um, I don’t wanna beat around the bush so I’m just gonna be really honestly here, but I like you, Y/N.” He looks into your eyes when he says it and your stomach curls from guilt because in this exact second, you realise this reaction isn’t the right reaction to those words from the man you’re seeing — and in this moment, you realise you don’t want to be with Ivan. 
As though he can read your mind, though you’re sure your expression gives away all thoughts, Ivan nods with an almost sad smile on his face.
“When I first started seeing you, I didn’t expect anything from us so soon but the more time I spend with you, the more I wanna know you, be with you.” Tentatively, he takes your hand and you let him. “I was happy with how things were going, but sometimes it felt like you were holding yourself back, and then yesterday happened,” he says, looking down at your joined hands. “I don’t need to ask to know what it meant, and honestly I just don’t know how to keep going when it feels like your heart isn’t in it,” he says with a quiet sigh.
Lowering your head, you bite your lip. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he says right away. “It’s really not your fault, I don’t want you to be sorry, please don’t be.”
Meeting his gaze, you see he’s smiling reassuringly and so you do too. 
“Really, I’ll be okay, it’s definitely better for me to nip my feelings in the bud now and I’m glad I can be honest with you.”
Nodding, you squeeze his hand. “I should’ve said something sooner,” you sigh. “I guess I was just being selfish… you’re truly one of the sweetest guys I’ve known and it was unfair of me to hold onto you when I know I wasn’t ready for it.”
“I’m just not the right person, and that’s fine,” he says. “But I hope you do find what it is your heart wants, Y/N.”
Looking up at him, he gives you a knowing look. 
“It’ll just take a little bit of courage from one of you, but I’m sure you’ll find exactly what it is you’re looking for.”
The words are said without explanation but you know exactly what they mean. Not only does it feel hard to hear them from Ivan, but knowing he’s known about your feelings for Taehyung this whole time just hurts.
Throwing your arms around him, you hold him in a long hug and fight the tears that want to spill. “I’m so sorry,” you mutter.
He pats your back and you hear him chuckle. “Don’t be sorry, I just want you to be happy, okay?”
Nodding, you hold him a little tighter before letting go. “Can we still be friends?” you say, voice breaking but you fight to keep yourself contained. 
“Of course,” he laughs. “I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me.”
 Sniffling, you nod. “Thank you. Me too,” you add. “I’ll be here for you whenever I can.”
He gives you a small smile and pulls you in for another hug. “Thank you for everything, Y/N.”
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After almost forty minutes, you’re finally trudging up the steps to your apartment. Ivan had offered to drop you off home but you wanted the long walk home to maybe help in some way to deal with your emotions. 
It didn’t really help though. Although you didn’t have romantic feelings for Ivan, you can’t help but feel a multitude of emotions about tonight. 
Ivan honestly was a dream man, ticking so many of your boxes and more that you hadn’t even thought of. It definitely hurts to have lost him now but you still feel grateful for the time you had with him. Not only because he made you smile and laugh as much as he did, giving you a good few happy memories, but also, it’s because of him that you’ve realised the extent of your feelings for Taehyung and it’s almost made you feel more sure of yourself to tell him the truth. 
If Ivan could see your feelings for Taehyung, surely he’s not wrong about Taehyung’s feelings for you?
Still, it doesn’t mean the thought of being honest with Taehyhng feels any easier, and truthfully, right now you don’t feel like admitting your feelings to him. It feels wrong to do so when you’ve just ended something that was undoubtedly special with Ivan. 
Entering the pass for your apartment, you’re so consumed with your thoughts and the tempting call of your bed that you almost don’t notice Taehyung standing in the kitchen making a cup of tea. 
“Y/N?”
His eyes are wide when you look at him, almost worried. Then they look you over and his face changes to one of concern. “Are you okay?” he asks, ignoring the cup of tea and rushing over.
For a second you wonder how he must know but then again, you did walk in practically sulking and after briefly tearing up a few times on the walk home, your eyes are probably red. 
“Not really,” you mumble, sinking into his embrace. It feels so comforting and though your mind tells you it’s  wrong to seek comfort from Taehyung now, you can’t help but notice how right it feels.
“Tae?”
That voice. 
Going still in his arms, you look up towards the source of the sound, not noticing Taehyung has gone still too. 
“Tae-tae.”
That voice — you know that voice, far too well. 
Just as the mental image of her appears in your head, the woman herself appears in front of you, sauntering out of Taehyung’s room dressed only in his T-shirt. 
“Oh, hello, Y/N.” She smiles like the cat that’s got the cream and boy, does she have the cream. 
Letting out a slow breath, you feel yourself uncurling from Taehyung’s arms. 
“Hi, Nisa.”
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A/N: thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please reblog / leave a comment / send an ask! it means a lot <3
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bteezxyewriter12 · 1 year
Text
Rebounding/ 1
Pairing- Hongjoong x Named Reader x Seonghwa, past Tae x Named Reader
Word count- 6.9k
Includes- angst, previous sexual relationship with Tae, threesome with Hongjoong and Seonghwa, public sex, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, blow jobs, deepthroating, door sex, missionary, riding, marking, multiple orgasms, fight with Yoongi, angst
Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa @yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @kjqueen05 @san-realblkwife
Masterlists- check out for more fics
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🌟gifs are from Google
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J POV
I want to go home
I don't want to be here, at this fucking event
But Tae asked me to come
And I'm still such a sucker for him
BTS and other groups are going to perform and we're all backstage right now
"Hey Jo"
I turn and smile at Tae
"Hey!"
He walks over to me with a beautiful blond Korean girl
This must be Raon
Lucky bitch
'Stop. Be nice', I tell myself
She hasn't done anything to me
She just happens to be dating the guy I love
Who he broke off our friends with benefits for
Yeah, no reason to hate her
"Jo, this is Raon. Raon this is Joanne. My best friend"
I smile, ignoring the pain I feel when he calls me his best friend
"So you're the best friend", she says, looking me up and down
What the fuck?
"Nice to meet you", she says smiling sweetly at me
It's such a fake smile but then I have a fake smile plastered to my face too
"Yeah nice to finally meet you. Tae used to talk about you all the time"
"Good things I hope"
I nod, "Yeah all good things"
The memory of him screaming her name the last time I made him come, slams in my head
He apologized but I knew the sex between us was over
He was imagining her when I was with him
That was the day my hope for him to see me as anything more than a fuck buddy, a best friend, died
'Push it away', I tell myself
"So you have, uh, a lot of tattoos", she says condescendingly
"Oh uh yeah. I like body art"
Her pointing out my tattoos makes me feel self conscious, and I rub my arm with the sleeve, trying to cover it up with my hand
Which is ridiculous
"Why so many? Especially on your arm?", she questions
I'm aware that she's looking down on me for having them
I know how people here see tattoos
Normally I wouldn't care but for some reason I care right now
"I just like them and I wanted them somewhere I can show them off"
"Hmmm", she says, "Do you have more?"
What is this?
Why is she grilling me?
"Yes. I have a lot on my body. I'm a tattoo artist"
"And you think that looks good?"
"Roan!", Tae whisper yells
I look right at her, "I like them and I think they look good. I don't care if anyone else likes them or not. Their opinion doesn't matter to me"
Tae glances at me, looking nervous
"Well that's great self confidence you have. I wish I had that", she answers
Is she complimenting me?
I don't know with her
She could be or she could be insulting me
But for Tae's sake I decide to be nice
"Thanks. You should definitely have that self confidence. Don't think too much about what other people think of you", I suggest
"Yes but it's not as easy for an idol"
I can see what she's saying but I don't know what to say to that
So I stay silent
"Tae, I'm going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?"
He shakes his head
"I'll be back", she says, leaving me and him to stare at each other awkwardly
"Sorry about the tattoo thing", he apologizes
"Don't worry about it", I tell him
More silence falls and I hate how weird it is between us
"So how's it going with Raon?", I ask him
"It's uh good"
I raise my eyebrow
He doesn't sound too happy
"Yeah that sounds totally convincing", I answer
He just smiles sadly at me
"Tae what's wrong? You can tell me", I urge him
He shrugs, "I'm happy Jo. She's sweet, kind and surprisingly really funny. Like you"
I feel a pang in my chest hearing him compare her to me
I know she's better than I am
He prefers her to me
It still hurts after these 4 months he's been with her but I'm trying to get over it
"But?", I ask
There's something he's not saying
"It's just....she doesn't....she's not into some things I like. With sex"
I raise my eyebrow, "Ok...like what?"
He looks around, then turns back to me, "She doesn't like the daddy thing or any of the things we did that one time. When I handcuffed you?"
I remember that night
He fucked me hard and made me cum so much
It was because of him I found out I like choking and biting during sex
Pain with sex
But I'm not really surprised that Raon doesn't like that
It leaves marks and since she's an idol she can't have marks on her
Which is why I never left any on him except for that one time he asked me for hickies
"She doesn't? She said she doesn't?"
He nods, "She told me right away that she doesn't like that even if it's something I like or want. She won't do it for me or even try"
I feel bad for him because I know the daddy thing gets him going and he likes to be dominate
But I also know not all girls are the same
I can't fault her for not liking something
But I can for not even trying
She should try for him and if she really doesn't like it then she doesn't have to again
"Yeah it sucks Tae but remember that not every girl likes the same thing. Or even wants to try it. You just have to accept that if you want her. And you know you guys are still new. Maybe it won't be no forever"
Why am I saying this?
Why am I trying to defend her or make sense of what she's saying
I should be telling him to dump her if she's not going to try for him
That she's not worth it
But I can't
He wants her and she makes him happy
I care more about his happiness than mine, no matter how miserable it makes me
I can't take that away from him
"Yeah I guess", he answers
"Just give it some time Tae. She might change. You never know"
He nods, "Ok Jo. It's just..."
"Just what?", I ask
"Sometimes I...uh... I", he stammers
He what?
What is so hard that he can't just tell me?
He used to tell me everything so easily
He's been distant ever since he got with Raon
I mean I understand, he wants to spend time with her but he can text me sometimes instead of me always texting him
Or at least answer my texts or calls
"You what Tae? What's wrong?"
"Sometimes I miss being with you."
My eyes widen in surprise
I don't know what to do with this information
Normally I'd be happy
But he has a girlfriend now
And he can't miss it that much since he's still with Raon
"Do uh....do you miss me?"
What is he doing?
Of course I miss him
He's all I think about but I can never tell him that
"Tae....I don't....I don't think this is a conversation we should be having anymore. You're with Raon so anything you say or I say doesn't matter"
"I...I know...but it matters to me"
I look at him warily
What's the point of this?
He's just making me remember being with him
And it hurts
I can't be with him and he really doesn't want me anyway
So why is he torturing me?
"Please just answer", he asks quietly
I sigh
"Yeah Tae, I miss you. Of course I miss you. You're my best friend and we were with each other everyday for a while."
"Yeah but do you miss being with me? Sex with me?"
Is he trying to kill me?
"Yes Tae. I do"
He nods but before he could say anything, Raon comes back
"Miss me?", she asks cheerfully
"Of course baby"
"Shouldn't we go say hi to the guys?", she asks
"Oh uh, yeah ok"
He looks at me, "I'll see you later Jo, ok?"
I nod and watch them walk away
Fucking hell, this sucks
---------------------------
"So you're the leader?", I ask Hongjoong
I was just wandering around when I literally bumped into this guy
And I felt so embarrassed when I didn't know he was an idol
"Yeah. And a rapper. One of two", he answers
He's really hot
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He's short for a guy but next to me he's a giant
His hair is blue and pulled into a ponytail that is so fucking sexy
He has really pretty brown eyes and his smile is beautiful
But he's nothing compared to Tae
"Your group is ATEEZ?", I ask, pulling out my phone and opening spotify
"Yeah"
I type in ATEEZ and find their discography
I make a new playlist and add their albums
"Ok, I added you guys to my spotify. I'll listen to your songs later"
"Cool", he says, "What do you do?"
"Oh I'm a tattoo artist", I answer
"Oh yeah? That's cool. But, no offense, how are you here? I thought only idols and staff could be here"
He's not wrong and I get why he's asking
"Oh I know BTS"
His eyes pop out if his face
"You know BTS?"
I nod, "Yeah, V is my best friend from when we were babies"
"Oh wow. You're so lucky. My members and I love BTS. We're huge fanboys"
I'm not surprised
Everyone loves BTS
"Maybe you can meet them today", I smile at him
"Maybe", he says
Silence falls between us and I guess the conversation is over
"You're really pretty", he says
My gaze slams up to his
He's looking at me, licking his lip
Fuck that just made me wet
I'm not blind, this guy is fucking sexy
"You too", I say stupidly
Then I realize what I'm saying
"I mean handsome. Not pretty"
He laughs, "I know what you mean"
He tilts his head, looking at me
"Wanna have some fun?"
Oh my God, he really asked me that
And I'm seriously considering it
I haven't had sex in four months
Not since Tae
And this guy is hot
So why not?
There's no one to tell me no
And I want to forget for awhile
"Yeah", I answer
He smiles, then takes my hand
"C'mon"
He starts walking and I follow him
He brings me to an empty room far from everyone and locks the door
He looks at me and I notice that he's nervous
I decide to make him feel at ease, so I move closer to him, brushing my lips against his
It's like that's what he needed because he pushes me against the wall, his tongue in my mouth
Damn he's a really good kisser
But Tae is better
'Stop'
I need to stop or I won't be able to do this
So I push Tae out of my mind and focus on Hongjoong
He pulls at my jeans, undoing them and pulling them down
I kick off my shoes and jeans
His hands go to my shirt next, taking it off then, my bra
He sucks my nipple in his mouth, making me moan loudly
"Fuck your piercings are so fucking hot"
"Mmmm hmmm", I moan
I start undressing him, getting his shirt and pants off
He gets them off, his mouth still sucking on me
"Fuck", I groan
His lips move from my nipple down my body, licking and sucking
God his mouth feels so good
While it feels good, Tae keeps coming in my head and I have to push him away
He's with Roan
He's fucking Roan not thinking of me at all
So I shouldn't think of him
Hongjoong goes down more, pulls my panties down and off
"Fucking hell, you have a piercing here too?"
"Yes"
"That's fucking hot"
I hold back a scream when I feel his tongue lick along my pussy
"Oh my God", I whimper
"Tasted good", he says into me
Fuck me
That's so fucking hot
His tongue moves faster, running all over me
My hand grips the doorknob so fucking hard while the pleasure rakes all over my body
He's fucking amazing with his tongue
His mouth goes around my clit and he sucks hard
"Fucking hell", I cry, my legs shaking
He switches between licking and sucking and I'm right fucking there
"I'm gonna cum", I moan, gripping the knob hard, my other hand going in his hair, messing up his ponytail
But I don't care right now
He sucks again and I'm done
"Fuck, fuck, oh god", I moan, coming in his mouth, my legs shaking hard
I feel his tongue keep licking and when I look down, I see his tongue lick, covered with my cum
He swallows it, then slides his tongue on me again
"So fucking good", he smirks, looking up at me
Fucking hell
He stands up, still smirking, my cum on his face
He wipes it with his fingers, then licks it off them
"Fuck", I whimper
It just reminds me of when Tae did that
He really liked eating me out all the time and for some reason he liked having everything all over his face
And he always said my cum tastes good too
I push Tae out of my head and focus on Hongjoong
I take a look at his body and fuck me
He's fit, his muscles in his chest and stomach
He's beautiful
Are all idols this beautiful?
I move closer to him, my lips on his neck, hands running up and down his back
"Shit", he whimpers
Oh yeah, I like that
I like hearing him
I loved hearing Tae too
'Stop', I yell at myself
Trailing kisses down his neck, I kiss his chest and move down
I lick, kiss and gently suck on the skin on his stomach but stop before I leave a mark
"No don't stop", he moans
"But...it's going to leave a mark. You're an idol.", I answer confused
"I don't care. I want you to do it", he pleads
Well, I guess I can if he's asking for it
"Yeah baby boy? You want me to suck here?", I smirk, kissing his skin
"Fuck yes", he whines
I kiss him again, then suck on thr skin on his stomach
The sounds he's making are so fucking hot
When I'm done, I move away, leaving a dark purple hickey on him
I press my lips to him again, kissing down more
Hooking my fingers in his boxers, I pull them down, slowly, and keep kissing him
When I get to his cock, I kiss down his length to his head
Jesus he's big too
Definitely not as big as Tae
But then no one is as big as Tae
Ignoring my thoughts, I lick his head, feeling his tremble
I can't help but smirk, then I take him in my mouth and suck gently
"Fuck oh my God", he moans loudly
I like that and I suck harder and faster
"Yes shit yes"
I want to make it feel better for him so I move down his cock more and more
His cock hits the back of my throat and goes down more as I keep going, getting him all in
If I can get Tae's huge cock in my mouth, I can get anyone's in
Once he's all in, I move back halfway off him, then slide him back in quickly
"Holy shit. How...how are you...fuck"
I keep going sucking on him as I move
"God I'm gonna cum", he moans
I move faster and his hand slams in my hair, holding me still as he thrust in my throat, coming hard
I feel him shaking from where I'm holding onto his thighs
"Yes fuck yes"
I swallow on his cock while he cums, getting it all down
When he's done, he pulls out, breathing hard
He's leaking so I press my tongue to his head, licking
I taste his cum and he does taste good
My licking makes him hard again and he grabs my arms, pulling me up
"Wanna fuck you", he gets out
"Yes", I agree
He slams me against the door, his mouth on mine, tongue against mine
My arms automatically go around his neck, while he wraps one of my legs around him
I reach down, holding his cock right at my entrance
He moves forward, his head getting inside
I let go, then grab his hips, pulling him to me, sliding him in
My body shakes as he gets in
God I haven't had sex in awhile and just the feeling of being opened again, of having a cock inside me, feels so good
"Fuck, so tight", he moans against my neck
"Fuck me", I ask, running my fingers up and down his back, "Please fuck me hard"
He nods, pulls almost all the way back out, then slamming deep inside
"Yes", I moan
He starts moving faster, slamming into me over and over
Pleasure fills my body, making me moan and hold onto him tightly
I feel him lift my other leg, completely picking me up
He grips my ass hard while he moves
"Fuck, faster.", I moan
"Yeah baby. I'll fuck you faster. And harder"
"Yes please yes"
He somehow moves faster, slamming into me so good
"More Hongjoong. I need to cum on your cock"
"Yeah baby? Haven't cummed in awhile?", he teases
I shake my head, "No. I need to cum on a cock. And I want it to be yours"
"Mmm yeah. I want it to be on mine too"
He hits my spot hard and I yell in fucking pleasure
"There, fuck right there"
He laughs, then concentrates on that area
I feel my orgasm coming and I can't wait
I need it, I need to release this pressure, I need to forget everything and just feel
He moves again, and I snap, yelling his name, coming on him
"Hongjoong! Oh my God!"
I hold onto him tightly, my head against the wall, just feeling him, letting the pleasure take over
"Yes, it feels so good. Fuck", he moans
Suddenly I hear knocking on the door
"Fuck", I whimper
"They need to go the fuck away", he moans
"Hongjoong? Are you in there?"
"Shit", he murmurs
"Wwww...what?"
"It's Seonghwa. One of my members"
"Oh. Make him go away", I tell him, "I want more of you"
"Yeah?", he asks smiling
I nod
"Hongjoong?"
"Go away", he answers
"What why?"
"I'm busy"
He suddenly slams back inside me, hard, making me moan loudly
"What was that?", the guy outside asks
"Can I tell him?", Hongjoong asks, "Maybe it'll make him go away"
"Yeah whatever, just make him leave"
He's making me forget but with him stopping to talk to this guy, more memories of being with Yoongi are coming back
And I don't want them
"I'm fucking a girl. Go away"
I can't help but laugh
"Nice", I say
"What? What girl?"
"Just a girl", he answers, thrusting again
"Fuck"
"Is she hot?", he asks
He looks at me smirking
"Yeah, really hot"
I blush looking away from him
"Can I see?"
What the hell?
Seriously?
"Uh what kinda freaky shit are you guys doing at you're dorm?", I ask
"Nothing like that. We're just open with each other about when we're fucking girls", he shrugs
"Well?", the guy asks
"Are you ok with it?"
Wait what?
"You...you don't care? That he's going to see you fucking me?"
He shakes his head, "No. And he'll probably want to fuck you too"
Jesus
I don't know about that
I'm not against anyone watching though
"Let him in"
He reaches over, unlocking the door
The guy comes inside and locks it
He looks at us and holy shit
He's fucking hot too
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"Goddamn, she is hot", he says, his eyes looking all over me, "Nice tattoos"
"Thanks?", I ask
He nods, "I'm Seonghwa"
"Joanne"
Hongjoong rolls his eyes, then moves, carrying me to the couch
He lays me on it, then gets on his knees opening my legs wide
He snaps his hips, burying himself inside again
I moan from the pleasure and he keeps going, moving hard again
"Yes fuck", I groan
"My god she's fucking sexy", Seonghwa says
"She feels fucking amazing", Hongjoong answers
"Hey! I'm right here!", I protest
"Sorry", Seonghwa apologizes
Hongjoong keeps going, not paying attention to the other guy
"Can I...uh help?", Seonghwa asks
What?
Is he serious?
"Ask her", Hongjoong answers
Wait what?
"Can I?"
Oh what the fuck?
Should I?
What will Tae think if he finds out I fucked two guys one right after the other?
Well I doubt he'll care
He doesn't talk to me much anymore anyway
I make a decision
"Yes. Take your clothes off"
Seonghwa immediately pulls his shirt over his head and I gape at his body
He has fucking abs
And it's such a turn on
He gets out of the rest of his clothes, his cock huge and hard too
What the hell?
How am I getting all the big dick guys?
And his cock is just as big as Tae's
Holy shit
"Fuck Seonghwa, she likes your body. She just got so wet"
He blushes but comes over to me, kneeling down
Hongjoong pounds into me while Seonghwa leans down, his lips on mine
I open my mouth and his tongue slides right inside
My hand goes in the back of my hair, holding on tightly
His hand goes to my breasts as he touches my nipple
"Fuck, she just soaked my cock", Hongjoong whimpers
Seonghwa pulls away, looking at my body
"Fuck", he says as he notices my nipple rings
He pulls on it, pleasure spiking hard
"Fuck", I moan
"Her clit is pierced too", Hongjoong says, not stopping his thrusts
"What?", Seonghwa asks, look down my body, "Holy shit"
"Fucking hot right?"
Seonghwa nods then leans over, attaching his mouth to my nipple, sucking hard
Pleasure blasts in my body, making me arching up
I feel a hand on my clit and when I look, Seonghwa is playing with my clit while Hongjoong fucks me
This is fucking insane
Two guys pleasuring me
I never thought I'd be in this situation
But it feels fucking incredible and I don't want them to stop
Seonghwa pulls on my clit ring, making my hips slam up, meeting Hongjoong's thrust
"Fuck good girl", he moans
The three of us keep moving together and I'm kinda surprised at how coordinated we are
"Seonghwa, wanna taste her cum?", Hongjoong asks, "It's so fucking good"
"Yeah"
Mother fuck
"I'll fuck her until she's ready to cum, then I'll pull out and you lick her until she cums"
Oh my God
That sounds.....amazing
"Ok"
Seonghwa goes back to playing with my nipple
Hongjoong's cock is getting me so close
"Fuck she's gonna cum", Hongjoong groans, pulling out
"No!", I moan, hating the feeling of my orgasm retreating
Until I feel a wet, hard tongue lick me
Looking down again, I watch Seonghwa eat me out
His tongue slides slowly up and down, feeling so fucking good
His tongue runs along my clit making me moan
His tongue moves faster, licking my clit over and over
I feel my orgasm coming back
His lips wrap around my clit and he starts sucking on me, tugging on my ring with his teeth
"Yes oh god!"
I can't stop myself, my hips move into his face over and over
"Damn Seonghwa, she's fucking your face"
He nods
"I like it", he says then goes back to me
Shit he's hot
I feel his fingers open me more, licking all over
I'm right there, I just need him to do something to make me cum
I feel his tongue slide inside and that's what I needed
"Fuck! Seonghwa", I yell, coming hard, holding his head against my pussy
He makes moaning sounds as he slides his tongue in and out
"Oh God", I cry, coming again, my legs shaking around his head, the bliss so fucking intense
When I finish, he moves away, kissing my inner thigh
"She tastes good", he says looking right at me
I can't
Do these guys all really think I'm good?
I don't have time to relax because Hongjoong comes back, flipping me on my hands and knees, sliding his hard cock inside me again
My back arches from the feeling of him filling me up
"Good girl", he smirks, "Seonghwa wants you to suck his dick baby. And I'm gonna fuck you while you do ok?"
I nod
I'm aware that I'm being such a slut but I don't care right now
I'm just shutting everything off to do this
I turn my head and open my mouth waiting for Seonghwa
"Look Hwa, she wants your cock in her mouth"
He comes closer to me, his cock close to my face
I lick his tip and he shudders
Moving my hands on his hips I pull him closer, wrapping my mouth around him and starting to suck
"Fuck me", he moans
Hongjoong moves into me, then pulls almost all out before ramming back in
Hard
He keeps moving, going slow but hard and deep
I pull Seonghwa to me more, taking all of his cock in my mouth
"How is she-", I hear him moaning
"I don't know but she did it to me too. Coming in her throat felt so good"
Like I did to Hongjoong I move my head, sliding Seonghwa in and out of my throat, sucking as I do
Hongjoong's steady slams build up the pleasure and I'm ready to cum again
"C'mon baby, cum", he asks
I snap moaning on Seonghwa's cock and explode on Hongjoong's
"Yes oh god yes", he pants, starting to move faster, pound into me mercilessly
Seonghwa is a moaning mess, eyes never leaving my mouth on his cock
Hongjoong's pounds bring me there again, making me release on him again, my body shaking on its own
"I'm gonna cum", Hongjoong yells
"Me too", Seonghwa whimpers
"Can I cum inside?", Hongjoong begs
I nod and he grips my hips so hard as he cums
At the same time Hongjoong cums in my pussy, Seonghwa's cums down my throat
I swallow Seonghwa's cum while my pussy throbs on Hongjoong, getting all his cum
I'm such a fucking whore
"My turn. I want to be inside", Seonghwa says
Hongjoong pulls out, moving away while Seonghwa sits next to me
He pulls me up, putting me on his lap
"Ride me baby girl?", he asks shyly and I nod
He kisses my lips as I reach down between up and hold up his already stiff cock
Getting him in position, I sink down on him, getting him all in
"Yes fuck oh god", he cries
I push him back against the couch, then lean back on his legs
I start moving slowly at first, teasing him
"Faster baby please", he begs
I smirk at him, "Is my baby boy begging me to ride him hard and fast?"
He nods, "Yes I'm begging you. Please"
I tilt my head, looking at him, "Good boy"
Moving faster I bounce on his cock, just enjoying the feeling of him going in and out of me
And by the sounds he's making, I know he's enjoying it too
He keeps murmuring "Yes, yes, yes" over and over again
I like it
I clench around him, making him gasp in pleasure
"I....I...nnn....need", he stutters
"What baby boy? Tell me what you need", I tease him
"I need you to cum on me. You're so fucking tight and I want to feel you get tighter"
"Hmm, you're lucky that your cock feels so good baby. I'm gonna cum real soon"
Seonghwa is different from Hongjoong
Hongjoong likes to dominate while Seonghwa likes to be dominated
Lucky for them I'm good at both
"Please", he begs
"Soon", I whisper, kissing his neck
I move my hips around, getting his cock to slam my spot
"Yes fuck", I cry
I keep moving, using his cock to fuck my spot over and over
I feel my legs start to tremble and I'm getting hot all over
I need to cum
I bring myself down on Seonghwa again, this time gripping his cock so hard, climaxing again
"Seonghwa fuck", I praise him, shaking on top of him
"So fucking good", he gasps
"Yeah?"
He nods
"Baby boy's cock is so good for me. Making me cum so good"
He whimpers and it's adorable
I keep moving on him when I feel lips on the side of my neck
"I'm gonna mark up your pretty neck baby girl", Hongjoong whispers in my ear
I nod, loving the feeling of his lips on my skin
"Seonghwa, fuck her. Now"
Seonghwa immediately grabs my hips and thrusts up into me
The pleasure is a blast in my body
Hongjoong pulls Seonghwa by the hair, putting his lips on the other side of my neck
"Mark her while you fuck her"
Again Seonghwa listens and sucks on my neck, while he slams up into my pussy
He's giving me a good pounding, hitting my spot every time
I'm gonna cum real quick
Both guys run their tongues on my neck, lips sucking in different spots
I feel fingers on my clit, rubbing in a circular motion and making my back arch into Seonghwa
"She's close", Seonghwa breathes, mouth back on my neck
Hongjoong moves his fingers faster on my clit and all the sensations combine together making me snap
"Seonghwa", I shout, coming on him again
He moans on my neck and I feel him cum inside me, warm and sticky
"Yes baby girl, fuck", he moans
When he finishes, he falls back on the couch and I go with him so tired
My face ends up in his neck as his arms wrap around me
I breathe in, catching his scent and fuck he smells so good
Hongjoong moves away from us and I just relax on Seonghwa
"I'm gonna see what the other guys are doing", Hongjoong says, pulling his clothes on, "Take your time"
Once he's dressed, Hongjoong leaves the room, leaving me and Seonghwa still on the couch
"Damn he was out quick", I comment
"Yeah he's a fuck em and leave kinda guy", "Seonghwa answers
"And you're not?", I ask
He blushes as he says, "Well no. I'm not gonna fuck someone and then bail the next second. I can't be up and running around right away"
"Yeah me too", I say
That's probably why we're still laying with each other
And if I'm honest with myself, it feels nice to be held, to lay with someone even if it's just for a few minutes
But all too soon he has to go, probably to perform
I tell him to get dressed and leave first since he has somewhere to be and I don't
As he dressed, I clean up the cum from both idols, once again, noting that I'm indeed a slut
I get my panties and bra on, when Seonghwa clears his throat
I look up at him, "Are you ok?"
"Can I...can I have your number?", Seonghwa asks me, his cheeks blushing
"Wait...are you serious?", I ask surprised
He nods
Well fuck me
I don't see any reason not to give it to him so I say yes and we exchange numbers
"I'll text you", he says and I nod, not expecting him to
I know to him I'm just a slut, someone to fuck, so I don't expect any texts aside from booty calls
And he's hot so I may just keep fucking him
He smiles at me and I notice how beautiful it is
He waves then leaves the room
Well that was an experience
It was fun while it lasted
Now I have to get back to my own miserable life
🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯
Tae POV
I watch Joanne talk to some idol
I don't know who he is but he's good looking
His hair is blue and I know she likes that
Her favorite color is blue
She loved when my hair was blue
Her favorite on me is black, then blue
After awhile I got tired of dying it colors like that so I stopped for awhile
She always suggested I dye my hair colors like that again but I didn't
Her own hair is an electric green right now
I was surprised when I first saw her
I haven't hung out with her in the four months I've been with Roan so I didn't know she changed her hair
Her hair was a bright red then black when we were together
She smiles at him, my heart jumping in jealously
What the fuck was that?
I need to relax
It was probably because I haven't spoken to her much while we're here and he's talking to her
I've been at Raon's side the whole time
The guy tilts his head and asks her something
She looks like she's debating her answer, when her face smooths over and she says something
The guy takes her hand and leads her out of the main room
Where the fuck is she going?
Why is she going anywhere with him?
Is she....
Is she going to have sex with him?
No, fuck no
"I'm going to the bathroom", I tell Raon
"Oh. Ok", she says as I start walking away, following Joanne in the direction the idol took her
I go down the hall, away from the main room and turn the corner just in time to see the idol pull her into a room
The door slams shut and I hear it being locked
I freeze in place
She's...she can't do this
She doesn't even know him
How is she just going to fuck a guy she doesn't know?
Why would she do that?
And why do I care?
I'm with Roan now, why do I care who Joanne sleeps with?
Because she's my best friend and I care about her
I don't want her getting hurt or catching anything
I stand there for awhile debating what to do
I should check on her
Continuing down the hall, I pass by the door, listening
"Fuck me", she asks, "Please fuck me hard"
My heart drops
She sounds just like when she was with me
Begging me to fuck her hard and fast
Now she's asking another guy to do it
"Yes faster"
I hear a slamming sound over and over along with her moans
Her moans that just used to be for me
"More Hongjoong. I need to cum on your cock"
"Yeah baby? Haven't cummed in awhile?", he teases
"No"
I close my eyes getting so angry
She hasn't came in awhile so that means when she does it's going to be fucking hard and huge
And she's gonna do it on him
'Hongjoong! Oh my God!", she moans
She came
I know how she sounds
She came on someone else's cock
Not mine
"Yes, it feels so good. Fuck", he moans
I remember
I remember how good she feels and I'm so fucking enraged someone else is feeling it
I hear footsteps and I duck behind the corner
Another idol is walking by and he stops at the door she's behind
"Hongjoong?", he calls, knocking
Does he know that guy she's with?
He keeps talking but I don't know what he's saying
Suddenly the door opens and he goes inside
What the actual fuck?
She's not going to fuck both of them....is she?
I can't believe this
This is insane
She's being.....
No stop
'Don't call her that', I tell myself
Because honestly she's not being a...slut
She's allowed to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants
And I'm upset but I shouldn't be
She's not my girlfriend
I don't feel like that for her
So I have no reason to be angry
I need to get out of here
If she wants to fuck two guys, she can
But I don't need to hear it
As I pass by the door, I hear her moan, "Fuck, Seonghwa"
Anger hits me hard again
That has to be the other guy that just went in the room
I can't hear this
'I don't care', I tell myself as I keep walking away
But I do
I care a lot
And I don't want to think about why
---------------------------
Fifteen minutes later, she comes back alone
The two other guys came back before her and went back to their group
I'm still pissed off
She shouldn't have fucked them
She just met them
I hope she wasn't dumb and used condoms
Or at least had them
She comes closer to us and I see dark marks on her neck
My stomach falls to my feet
She let them leave hickies on her?
Fury comes back in my body and I clench my jaw
"Hey Tae. When are you guys going to perform?", she asks
Now that she's in front of me, I can see the hickies clearly
One is so dark, almost black
And she has another one on the other side of her neck, that one purple
"Tae? You ok?"
"Did you have fun?", I snap
Fuck
I didn't want to say anything
My stupid mouth ran by itself
"Uh what?", she asks confused
"With those two guys who gangbanged you. Did you have fun?"
Her eyes widen, "You..you saw?"
I roll my eyes, anger fueling me
"Of course I saw. I saw that blue haired idol take you and I was worried so I followed you. And saw him bring you to a room. Heard you begging to cum on him"
He face is in total shock but I don't care
I'm letting my anger take over
I shouldn't
I shouldn't care who she sleeps with
But I do
I do so much
I miss her and I want her to be with me
"Then I saw the other idol knocking on the door, going inside and I heard you moaning his name too"
"Oh god", she whispers
"Did you fuck both of them?"
Her eyes narrow, "That's none of your business"
I snort, "Of course it is. You're my best friend. I don't want you getting hurt or catching something."
She doesn't say anything, just looks away from me
"Did you make them use condoms?"
She bites her lip but shakes her head
She didn't?
I'm so fucking surprised
She doesn't know them
Doesn't know if they fuck any girl, if they have anything
"You're so stupid", I snarl
Her eyes widen, looking back at me
"No I'm no-"
"Yes you are. You fucked two guys one after another without condoms like a slut"
As soon as the word leaves my mouth, she looks like I slapped her in the face and I regret saying it
"Really? Because I wasn't a slut when I was fucking you right? Letting you cum in me whenever you fucking wanted?"
"That's different and you know it. You know me, you don't know them"
"Why do you care? You're fucking your girlfriend. It doesn't matter who I'm with"
I can't believe she's saying this to me
I'm with one person, who I'm dating
She's with random people
"I'm only with her while you're fucking two guys and coming out here with their fucking hickies on your neck"
"Then don't fucking look", she growls
I narrow my eyes at her, so fucking pissed off
"You know what if you want to be a whore, then go ahead. I don't give a fuck"
The hurt on her face and tears that flood her eyes, hit me hard and again I instantly regret calling her a whore
She just nods, looking away, "Ok"
She turns from me and starts to walk away while I panic
I didn't mean it
I need to apologize
Right now
"Jo-", I call
"Can't talk Tae. Gonna be a whore and find someone to fuck", she snaps, not even turning around
"Joanne, wait, I didn't-", I try again
"Leave me alone", she tells me and I stop
She's never told me to leave her alone before
I don't know what to do
Should I leave her alone or should I go after her
"Tae!", Raon calls, making me turn to her, "Where were you? You were gone for so long"
"Yeah sorry", I say, distractedly looking back for Joanne but I can't see her anywhere
Fuck
I fucked up and I need to find her to apologize
🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯
J POV
I need to get the fuck out of here
I'm on the verge of tears
Tae called me a slut and a whore
It hurts so much
I never thought he'd ever call me that or think of me like that
I guess I was wrong
I don't know why he's upset
He's fucking Raon
Why does he care what I do?
Who I fuck?
He's different than he used to be
Ever since Raon, it's like I don't exist anymore
He'd never have called me a slut or a whore before
He never cared who I had sex with before
And now he's grilling me, asking personal questions
Calling me names
I just want my best friend back
My Tae
The Tae I could tell anything, talk about anything with
The Tae who made me laugh, watched tv and stupid movies with me
The Tae who would ask for my help, my opinion on his music, who took what I said seriously
Not this Tae who calls me a slut and a whore
I should of never agreed to have sex with him
If I didn't, this wouldn't be happening and I wouldn't be hurt
It's my own fault I'm hurt
My own fault
103 notes · View notes
oftenderweapons · 7 months
Text
Three Sugars | Masterpost
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Members: Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Kim Taehyung
Status: Ongoing
Author's Note:
Hello there! Three Sugars is a project that unfolds as a mix of Social Media AU's and traditionally written chapters. It will follow three different main characters and their own storyline after their agreements as sugar babies for each of the Kims. They will be narrated in second person (you, Y/N) form mostly. The main point of view will be stated at the beginning of each chapter.
Links to Q&A's
About physical touch | About their hobbies | About love languages | About confidence | About the future | About their most prized possession | About a holiday | About their type | About criminal records | About manicures
| the inbox for asks is open, send an ask here! |
Three Sugars' Masterlist
Introduction, the guys | Introduction, the girls
| 1. Mutually Beneficial | 2. Arrangements | 3. Wants and Needs | 4. First Impressions | 5. Facepalm.
General information
Title teasers | Playlists | Visuals |
Here is oftenderweapons' complete masterlist
22 notes · View notes
taebearlover07 · 1 year
Text
Do you think I am scared of you, Sir?
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The following slides might contain 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄, do not interact if uncomfortable
Pairing: Ceo!Boyfriend!Kim Taehyung x Fem!Reader
Genre: Smuth, a little fluff 
Summary: Your boyfriend Taehyung always had a role play kink, so you decided to fulfill his demand
Warning: Professor-student roleplay, dom!Tae, spanking, pain kink, use of crop whip, use of nipple cramp, degradation, orgasms control, name calling(slut), punishing, begging, etc(maybe)   
_____________________________________________________________
 You wore a short and tight red skirt, paired up with a tight white shirt. You looked in the mirror. “A perfect student look, but something is missing. Hmm” You grabbed some books and entered Taehyung's home office, taking a deep breath, you knock on the door. Let the scene begin “Professor, can I come in?” You patiently waited till you heard a "yes" from the other side of the door. He's leaning against the table. You walk up to him seductively. “Good afternoon sir.” You gave him your most appealing yet seductive smile, he nods with a smirk on his face. “Are those your math books?” He takes one and walks around the room looking into it. He brushes his hand against the back of your thigh, making you shiver “Your skirt is shorter than the school uniform which we have provided to the students” You smile while biting your lips “Sorry sir, but I didn't had any longer skirt available” He leans back against his desk before roughly pulling you to him. “Tell me, Ms Yn,  do you really expect me to believe you've been studying?” You gulp at the closeness and giggle nervously as he whispers into your ears “I know you've cheated on the tests.”
He laughs before glaring at you purposely. For a moment you questioned yourself if he really is a CEO or a professional actor. “Imagine cheating in my classes out of all the others, you surely like to be punished, don't you?” Suppressing your urge to jump on him, you turned your head towards him before speaking rudely “Do you think I'm scared of you ‘SIR’?” You said, not forgetting to put stress on "SIR". He glared at you and bangs on the table which makes you flinch. He grips your shoulder and pulls you into him roughly. “You're so bratty all the damn time, don't you know how to behave. Stop being such a dirty little slut.....unless you can take what I have for you.” You look right at him as if daring him to do it. “I don’t think you can make me-” Without letting you complete he flips you onto the desk. ”Say another word and I am going to make you wish you had shut that pretty little mouth.”
Your wetness leaked through you, just by him saying this and being so rough with you. He takes off your tie and uses it to bind your hands “Look who's learning” He scoffs before going under his desk and pulling out a black box. He puts it on the table and opens it. It's filled with things like butt plugs, lube, vibrators and all sorts of BDSM toys. He takes out a crop whip making your eyes widen, he notices you and smiles. “Do you like it, it's quite nice for spanking someone, look how thin it is. It will make sure at the end your pretty little ass would be all red” He said before pulling up your skirt and gently grasping your ass with his hand. He grinds his crotch against your ass making you gasp. You felt yourself dripping more as you couldn't contain your excitement to get the painful pleasure “I'm extremely disappointed that you cheated on my test Yn, do you think I wouldn't have found out?” He slaps your ass with the crop whip making you muffle a little cry “Why don't you tell me thank you for teaching you good manners and help me count to 40?”
Your eyes widened at his comment and before you could even say a word, another slap lands on your ass, more painful than the first making you moan at the contact “One thank you sir *another spank* two thank you sir” As painful as this was with him using such a thin crop you ache for more already. He continues slapping you and you cry out earning you ten more on the 30 you had left. “Mhnn yesss, Professor” He gives you another and you purposefully didn’t respond, gaining ten more. “Fuck” He grabs your throat disapprovingly. “Your such a little wore for me huh! Suck it” He said, placing his fingers in front of your mouth, signalling you to suck it which you did. He continued slapping your ass while you moaned around his fingers “Ahhh!”
He chuckles at your state and starts slapping you even harder. Tears fall down your face like a waterfall but the painful pleasure was too good that you didn't even notice your tears. You continue to moan and suck his fingers while rubbing your legs together. Removing his fingers from your mouth, he grabs your neck from the back, making you look at his face. “Stop rubbing your thighs, stand straight before I give you 40 more” He said angrily before slapping you on your thighs and spreading your legs open so you can't create friction. You try your hardest to keep your legs straight but they keep bending and buckling under the pressure. You felt as if you were going to cum even without penetration. He finishes up with the rest of your deserved spanks as you try to thank him one last time. “Aw look at that pretty little ass looking all red. The red colour looks so nice on this pretty ass mmmm”
He said and he slapped you again. You moaned one last time as saliva dripped down your chin. “You've made such a mess of yourself, look at you moaning over a punishment like a dirty little slut....get down on your knees near the couch.” You dropped to your knees near the couch, he too walks to the couch before sitting on it “You are such a good little girl for me. Do you want me hmm?” You nod your head hard. He pulls you closer to him “Come show your professor how much you want him” You crawl between his legs, slowly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. You pull them down revealing his long dick, rock hard for you. You kiss his thighs, grabbing his dick before slowly starting to pump him making him bite his lips. You keep on giving him a handjob and watch as his eyes get close, his lips parting cause of pleasure.
You press your lips against his tip before taking his dick in your mouth. His breath quickens as you started to bob your head up and down on his length. You started to deep-throat him. His hands came in contact with your hair and gripped it. He started to thrust into your mouth making you gag as his tip hit the back of your throat. “Good girl, good fucking girl” He said while harshly thrusting into your mouth “Fuck! Yn!” He moans your name as the pleasure increases. You felt his dick twitch in your mouth, indicating he is close. You bob your head faster making him cum while biting on his lower lip. You hide the smile on your face but he pulls you onto him “I think you deserve a reward since you apologized so well” He said before pushing you onto the couch. He gets behind you and holds your hips, gripping your hips tightly.
You feel him flip your skirt up and rub his dick against your hole. He removes your skirt and rubs against you, lubricating him with your wetness. You felt the tip of his cock prod against your hole but he doesn’t push in, instead he pulls you up. His hot breath against your neck makes you let out a small moan. “You thought you could have my cock easily, it's not that simple little girl” He unbuttoned your shirt from behind before attaching a nipple clamp. You moan from the pain and he pulls on the chain a bit making you flinch. “Ahh” He pulls back your shirt and uses it to put your hands in a lock
“Please sir, I want you really badly” The tip of his dick presses against you slowly “Good girl, now relax” He said and pushes his cock deep inside you making you moan into the couch. His dick touched each and every spot making you scream loudly in pleasure. He does some slow strokes as you arch your back deeper out of reflex. He speeds up his thrusts, his balls hit my ass, the pain from being spanked resumes. You flinch, groan and moan in pleasure as he thrust deep inside you. You bury your face to conceal your moans but he pulls your head back gently “Come on let me hear that beautiful voice” You let out a string of moans and he begins to go faster
“Good girl” He says as he hammers into you. You cry from the pleasure and pain “I'm close, sir” He pushes your head down and strokes into you rhythmically. Tears cloud your vision. He continued thrusting in you while whispering dirty things in your ears that turn you on even more. “Keep in mind I never said you could have release? Don't dare to cum until I say to” “Please sir!!” You whimpered “You want me to stop now?” You shook your head in disapproval, begging him to continue through little sobs as he laughs. The thrusting continues as you clench around him repeatedly. He pulls on the chain “Sir please! Fu- I'll do any-thing you want, p-please let me cum”
You beg for release, You knew if you came without his permission, you’ll have to see bad consequences. His hands grab your waist and he pushes all the way into you. “No don't you dare cum until I cum” He whispers into your ear. You started to clench around him to make him cum faster. You felt his dick twitch in you, considering this as a signal that he is about to cum too. “Fuck baby just like that! Clench on me, make me cum!” You immediately nodded as yes and continued clenching on him “Yes kitten cum, cum with me. Tell me whose pussy is this when you cum.”
You hit cloud nine when you finally released while he filled you up with his seeds. You obeyed his orders while collapsing on the couch and whispered “I'm Masters little fuck whore, this ahh this is my masters pussy. It's your pussy” You layer on the couch, completely tired. You felt Taehyung remove the ties and nipple clamp and then he started to kiss you on the back of your neck You turned back to be greeted by a lot of kisses on your face as well as your whole body. You looked at him as he shows you his cute box smile before saying
“You must have gotten tired. Did I get too hard on you” You shook your head from left to right, telling him no he didn't. He picked you up in bridal style and walked out of his home office “Let's get you a nice bath and then we will cuddle hmm.” You hummed and layer your head on his chest as he walked to the bathroom of your shared bedroom.
________________________________________________________________
THE END
________________________________________________________________
Thank You For Reading
115 notes · View notes
eoieopda · 1 year
Text
thoroughfare: texas (kth)
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I met you there in Texas, somewhere on the thoroughfare / On the side of the road in some torn up clothes, with a pistol in my pocket
Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader Type: Multi-Part (1/5) ⇢ Masterlist Word Count: 1.6K Summary: You didn't have an escape plan when you left your old life behind, but you did come across a get-away car. Content: (Series) American Roadtrip AU; strangers to lovers; slow-burn; angst; smut // (Chapter) References to past relationship violence (not depicted); hitch-hiking; mention of blood (heel blisters); reader has a gun in her possession (not used); tw: Texas. A/N: This was originally going to be a one-shot, but now it's going to be a mini-series of vignettes! Here's state #1 on their 5-state trip West. Based on Ethel Cain's song by the same name.
DISCONTINUED
Freedom is a fickle thing. 
You spent your whole life waiting to leave home. To live on your own terms, with what you owned depending solely on what you’d earned yourself. When you got on that bus in Birmingham, that’s what you thought you were driving towards: a new slate.
Independence that made your giddy stomach flip with anticipation — a roller coaster going up, up, up. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, starting over alone, but nobody said it would be this hard. 
Not that you’d have listened if they did. 
For a while, you made it work. You found a hole in the wall to live in and a job that filled both your pockets and your pantry. You made friends, and you made time for yourself. You took the knife you’d stolen from your brother on your way out of town and whittled yourself a place in the world. And you were fine that way, accountable only to yourself.  
Free, you'd thought, free at last. 
Then he came along.  
That green-eyed, black-hearted son-of-a-bitch slithered around your heart like a copperhead, hissing honeyed words into your ear all the while. He was easy to love and that was precisely the problem. It made him impossible to leave.  
The thought must have crossed your mind a hundred times or more. You repeated those plans like prayers in your head every night before you climbed in bed beside him. But you didn’t leave and then you couldn’t. Eventually, it became too difficult to tell what he gripped tighter: your finances or your wrists. 
The only thing that hit harder than he did was the realization that you’d cornered yourself in a trap you'd built yourself. In doing so, you took a match and kerosene to any bridge leading somewhere familiar.  
Safer.  
Now, you stood on your front porch with all you could carry shoved hastily into a duffle bag. Burdens all slung over your shoulder; you took your first deep breath in recent memory. The thought spread over the open air when you exhaled a rueful laugh: if you had any matches left on you, you would’ve lit this place up, too.  
Instead, you’d opted — for once — to extinguish a fire. You’d do the wise thing and snuff out the flame before the backdraft could turn you to ash, too. Tucked into the back of your Levis, unloaded, was the revolver you’d stolen from the lockbox under the bed. If he was stupid enough to look for you, he’d find it pressed between his brows.  
Would he remember in that moment that he was the one who taught you to shoot? 
You set out on foot from there, leaving everything too heavy to hold in your wake. With the hot wind cracking like a whip against your bare legs, every step you took was erased mere seconds after being imprinted in the dirt. Having no path back home — to him — meant there was only one way left for you to go. 
Decidedly underfunded and underfed, you were thankful to be above water for the first time in a long damn time. The wind resistance made each step harder than the last, but you were grateful for the way it breathed life back into your bones. You greeted the burn of that effort like an old friend; with muscles no longer atrophied from all that time spent crouching in place. 
So, you walked, and walked, and walked over that arid ocean until your blistered heels begged you to stop.  
Three miles outside of San Antonio, you finally heeded their cries. You sat down, roadside, with your denim shorts in the dirt and your duffel bag behind you. Initially, you intended for that duffle to anchor you through unrelenting wind. Though forceful, it didn’t alleviate the heavy heat weighing down your shoulders. Thankfully, that duffel served a second purpose: it kept your tired frame from collapsing under the unforgiving, south-central sun. 
The only chill to be found was the Ruger’s cool metal against the sweat-slicked small of your back. Despite its capacity for violence, its hard presence against your skin felt safer than the blanket you carried with you through childhood. It didn’t entirely prevent your eyes from scanning the area for any hint of movement — but it sure as shit helped. 
As you watched dust swirl in miniature twisters across the cracked asphalt, you wondered if this town had always been so peaceful. Though run-down, it wasn’t as ugly a place as it felt. Maybe there was some timeline in which this could’ve been home.
Maybe —
As soon as that thought crossed your mind, the quiet you relished was replaced by the squeal of balding brakes. With a groan, you clambered to your aching feet just in time to eye the pickup truck slowing to a stop in front of you. Your right hand shielded your eyes from the glaring white overhead; your left moved slowly until it rested at the base of your spine.
Shit!
It wasn't loaded, but he didn't need to know that.
The stranger’s charming smile triggered something feral in the cellar of your brain. Fight or flight? He seemed to sense the panic in your pulse, even with the distance. Slowly, his hands left the steering wheel to be held where you could see them.  
“Hey, baby, don’t run – I'll take you anywhere you need to go, so long as you can point me to the I-10.” 
You blinked at him, then glanced down at your worn-out Doc Martens. By now, you were sure there was blood pooling in your socks. Worse, there was dirt sticking to every droplet of sweat on your body, turning all your hard-fought softness into something coarse.
If I end up dead, you thought, at least the truck I’d die in is air-conditioned.  
With a shrug, you grabbed your duffel off the ground and tossed it into the truck’s bed. He was beaming at you through the window when you crossed back to the passenger side. He was magnetic, you’d admit, but you knew better by now than to trust a charmer. 
His excited hand slapped the steering wheel as you settled in beside him and the way you flinched wasn’t lost on him.  
“Ah, sorry to make you jump, doll. I’m just glad to have found someone out here,” He chuckled through a sheepish smile.  
Rubbing his hand nervously over the back of his neck, he elaborated: “I’ve been driving around for a while, looking for a single soul to give me directions. Until I saw you sitting there, I thought I’d never get back to the highway.” 
“What made you think I’d help?” You asked with a flat tone and furrowed brow.  
If you could admit he was magnetic, you could admit that you were the opposite. Your stony gaze was more likely to repel others than attract them. The thing is, you neither wanted nor intended to be that way. His warmth was as confusing to you as his apparent faith in others. 
Had he met “others”? Awful, the whole lot of them. 
The stranger put the truck back into gear and resumed his southbound route. “You look like someone who knows where they’re headed,” He hummed, “Someone who wouldn’t steer me wrong.”  
Your disbelieving cackle caused him to glance over at you. Even the bemused twitch of his eyebrow didn’t undermine the self-assured grin lighting up his face.  
“The only place I’m headed is anywhere else.” With a sigh, you rolled your neck to face forward. Smirking, you gestured beyond the windshield, “And by the looks of it, you’re headed further away from the highway.” 
“Shit!” He muttered. With no one nearby to get in the way — or, more importantly, to cite him — he abruptly turned over the double-yellow to correct course. His tires nipped at the gravel when he ventured slightly off the road. “See? Kismet.” 
“Kismet?” 
Another glance your way, another smile.  
“Means fate,” He explained, though you already knew the definition of the word.
It was his hopefulness that confounded you, as well as the gratitude you didn’t do more than the bare minimum to earn. Then there was the way his uniquely boxy, mega-watt smile never seemed to leave his face. He held out his hand to shake before you could ask what the hell he was so happy for.  
“Taehyung,” he offered.
You supplied him with your hand as well as your name. Then, you gave into the ongoing conversation he seemed so intent on having. “Where’s the highway leading you, Taehyung?” 
“West,” was his reply and it earned him an eye roll and a snort. Of course, he was headed west; it was the only direction his chosen route could take him. Undeterred by your reaction, he looked back over at you and asked, “Wanna see it with me?”
“Why west?” You asked. Deep down, you didn't care. The only question bouncing around your skull was why me?
He had stars nestled in the warm brown of his eyes as he looked at you. That spark — that authentic, puzzling optimism — was the only reason you didn’t laugh right in his face when he answered: “’Cause love’s out there and I can’t leave it be.” 
At this, you grimaced without meaning to. He couldn’t be that naïve, could he? Thinking he’d find some fairy-tale ending where the sand met the sea? 
“Honey, love’s never meant much to me,” You started, but you quickly — and unexpectedly — turned on a dime when you watched the light in his smile start to waver, “But I’ll come with you, if you’re sure it’s what you need.”
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Tagging: @borahae-k @i-purple-buff-bunni @pamzn @myimaginationsrunningwild @nonbinary-demonbrat @mgthecat @btschimeyplanet @yoongiphoria @tornparts
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Likes are always appreciated, but it's feedback that means the most — whether that's in a reply below, or in a reblog! Thank you for reading <3
60 notes · View notes
manawrites · 1 year
Text
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two is better; ch 1
pairing: f!reader x jungkook, f!reader x taehyung
rating: explicit
genre: arranged marriage au, drama, angst, smut, romance, jungkook is bad at feelings (yes, that’s a genre)
summary: neither of you really wanted to be married to one another, but one maybe wanted it just a smidge more than the other. unable to know where you stand since you don’t actually know one another, jungkook takes it upon himself to at least try to make your marriage a bit more…enjoyable for you.
ch word count: 1.4K
ch warning: jungkook does not start on a good foot here. he touches without consent…he might redeem himself later but 😬
author’s note: I wrote this story years ago on another platform. It started as an original fiction story, but I’m converting it to a bts fic. hopefully it converts well 🥴 lemme know what you think! 😊
~*~*~
You stare at the man sitting across the table from you, observing his strong jawline and the smooth planes of his skin, his short brown hair.
His brown eyes are glued to you, observing you in a similar fashion, gaze dipping low across your skin in a way that makes you shiver. His broad shoulders are stiff beneath his gray suit, his clean-shaven jawline tense.
You shift your gaze to the head of the table, where your father sits with his back straight and his gaze forward, toward the older gentleman across from him. You glance his way, admiring the same smooth, albeit slightly more wrinkled skin, of the man across from you, the same brown eyes, the hair that was once black but has since gone silver.
He’s a fox, but the coldness of his eyes is clear as he eats his dinner with controlled, practiced movements.
“I simply don’t see a reason to delay any longer,” the older man states blandly, gaze not wavering from your father’s. “The children are old enough now, wouldn’t you say?”
Your father’s eyes move to you in a moment of contemplation, the sadness evident to only you when your eyes meet. He nods once and focuses on cutting the steak on his plate. “They are.”
“I mean, there’s no reason to prolong the inevitable, is there?” the man continues, chewing softly. His eyes drift over you, pausing at your chest. He takes a considering sip of his wine. “Unless, of course, you want to go back on our deal.”
Your father looks up with a thunderous expression, fork stabbing his steak. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
The old man smirks, finally tearing his gaze from your breasts long enough to give your father an innocent shrug. “I’m not sure what you mean, Henry. You’ve always been a man of your word.” He shrugs again, sitting up a little straighter and slicing into his own steak. “You should know that I am as well.”
You hear her father growl, but it’s quiet, and you look up at the man across from you as his foot catches yours under the table. He smirks, the toe of his Italian shoes drifting up your ankle.
“If I’d known there was a time limit on our little business endeavor—“
“You’d what?” the old man laughs humorlessly, setting his fork and knife down with a clatter. “Let your company fall through the cracks and go bankrupt? Lose your entire life’s work, your home?” He shakes his head when your father winces. “You’re a smart man, Henry. You should know that every business agreement has an expiration date. You either pay back every cent of the money you owe — with interest — or stick to our original deal.”
You tear your eyes away from the man still toeing your calf under the table to look at your father, his sad expression nearly breaking your heart.
Your father had put everything into his business, had tried everything he could imagine to make enough money to pay back the money he’d borrowed in full, but as the years went on, the debt continued to grow. He’d tried to wager with them, to work out a payment plan, but the Jeons wanted all or nothing.
Your father had been foolish to think his old colleague would accept anything less.
“Dad...”
Henry shoots you a look and Mr. Jeon scoffs.
“You allow her to speak at the table during business?”
“Please forgive her,” your father sighs, apology clear in his eyes before he tears his gaze from you. “She’s not usually present for such things.”
Mr. Jeon taps his fingernail against his wine glass, lips pursed as he continues to observe you. “She will need lessons on proper conduct.” He pauses, gaze shifting to the way his son is devouring you with his eyes. For the first time all night, Mr. Jeon looks pleased. “But she will make my son a fine wife.”
Your father stares at his food, pushing it around his plate in a way that displays his guilt. “I have no doubt she will.”
“Oh, don’t look so glum, Henry,” Mr. Jeon admonishes. “She’s getting married, not being stolen away for slave work. She will be taken care of.”
The man across from you smirks into his wine glass, foot hooking behind your knee and jerking you and your chair forward, chair legs screeching across the wooden floor.
Heat settles across your cheeks when you notice you’ve drawn all of the men’s attention and you clear your throat, tucking your hair behind your ear and staring down at your food. Your stomach is pressed firmly to the side of the table, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. You feel the man’s foot drift higher, the cold leather of his shoe pressing into the warm skin of the inside of your knee.
“The wedding will be in two weeks,” Mr. Jeon announces suddenly, drawing your attention.
“Two we—“ your father balks. “Isn’t that a little soon? The planning alone—“
“The plans have been set in stone for years, Henry,” the man states firmly. “I’ve given you plenty of time to pay your debt, but I always have a backup plan. Something a successful business man would understand.”
“I—“
“Now, now, Henry, please relax. As I said, your daughter will be taken care of.”
You let out a quiet yelp and jolt in surprise when the toe of the man’s shoe presses between your legs. You meet his teasing gaze and part your legs, grasping your hands around his pant leg and trying to push him off you. The pressure on your core tightens, his eyes turning cold and commanding, and something twists in your stomach.
Your fathers’ conversation continues as if nothing is happening. You’re not so sure they even notice.
“She will be sized for a dress and whatever else she needs this week,” Mr. Jeon comments. “She will also need to quit that grueling job of hers. There won’t be a need for it once the marriage is final.”
“What?” you yelp again, this time jolting backwards, nearly pushing your chair over. The man across from you catches the chair with his foot and quickly rights it, finally pulling his foot back to his side of the table. He observes you with a frown.
Your father looks horrified at your outburst and Mr. Jeon looks a cross between furious and amused.
“You couldn’t possibly think we’d let you keep a waitressing job,” Mr. Jeon spits, nose wrinkled in disgust. “Our family has a reputation. You are to stand at my son’s side and lead this business when the time comes. Until then, you will learn.”
Your eyebrows furrow. “I’m sorry, learn?”
Mr. Jeon’s expression teeters on cruel as he wipes his mouth with a cloth and stands. “You will learn about the business, how to run it, how to support my son.” He pauses, eyes drilling holes into yours. “And you will learn your place in this family.”
You feel angry tears well up in your eyes and turn away from him, ducking your head to stare at your hands in your lap. Your hair falls on either side of your face and you allow it to hide you from them. You don’t want to show just how terrified, just how upset, this all makes you.
You’d reassured your father that it was okay, that you would somehow be okay, but would you? Your waitress job isn’t much, doesn’t even pay much, but it’s the one thing in your life that’s yours. Your father has his business, you have your job and that grants you a modicum of independence. Without it, you would just be a wife. A Jeon. Whatever they want you to be.
You feel your chest ache at the thought.
“We will speak more of this at a later date,” Mr. Jeon dismisses, motioning for his son to stand. “Come, Jungkook, we have business to attend to.”
Jungkook takes one more look at you and follows his father, the sound of their retreating steps loud in the otherwise silent home.
When they’re gone, you quickly rise to your feet and begin to clear the plates in silence. It isn’t until your father puts a hand on your shoulder that the tears start to fall. You turn into his chest. He takes the plates from you, setting them back on the table, and puts his arms around you. You hug one another tightly, with him whispering apologies into your hair and your tears spilling onto his cotton shirt.
No matter how many times he says it, you both know a sorry could never salvage the situation.
There’s nothing more to be done.
In two weeks, you will no longer be a Shin.
You will be a Jeon, wife to Jeon Jungkook and daughter-in-law to one of the slimiest businessmen you’ve ever met.
There’s nothing an apology can do to fix this.
~*~*~
ch. 2
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ephemeralbvtch · 2 years
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One Faded, The Other Fading
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Pairings: taehyung x f!reader
Synopsis: An evening spent with your lover in a place where you both treasured the most turns out to reveal how different realities clash with each other. Despite the pain of letting go, you eventually decide to let go of him and the treasured place. 
Genre: smut/ fluff
Warnings: sexual intercourse, grief/ loss, change of realities, oral receiving, kissing and dancing (i’m not sure whether these are even supposed to be warnings but nvm)
•••
The warm sun glowed your skin as you lay your back on the bark of a huge oak tree, admiring the face of the man who lay on your lap. Your fingers tugged through the ebony locks of the man who laid still, peacefully, his jacket set aside on the grass.
“Do you love me, Y/N?”
Grinning, you looked down at the man who asked you the question. Then, tugging the corner of your lips upwards you painted a symmetrical smile as you stared into the clouds that shifted as slow as the faint breeze, in the sky.
“What do you think?” you asked playfully, as you popped a strawberry into your mouth.
The string of moans that voiced out from your mouths grew clearer as your orgasms heightened. The knots in your stomach, the way you held each other, fondling onto the skin- a desperate grasp to hold on to the fact that this all seemed unrealistic to you. You finally let loose of the knot in your stomach, Taehyung too, doing the same. Embraced in each other’s arms, for a split second you felt as if you were Romeo and Juliet who had gotten one last chance to relive together.
The boy on your lap sat up and held both your hands in his. His chocolate coloured eyes stared back at yours and you looked back at him with an amused smile. You were amused at his reaction. You hadn’t expected him to seriously ask you whether you actually loved him. You had been together for as long as you could remember and moving into this house was a dream of yours.
A dream he made come true.
“I’m being serious, Y/N. Do you love me?”
“You silly boy,” you mumbled as you cupped a side of his face and stroked his shaven skin, “Isn’t the answer obvious?”
A smile lit up the boy’s face as he got up eagerly, offering his hands to pull you up to your feet. With effort you got up, stumbling into his embrace. For a moment, you stayed wrapped his arms, as you took in breaths of his scent. A scent you were desperately trying to hold onto.
“Tell me you love me,” he ordered lovingly towards the shell of your ear as he placed a soft kiss against your blushing cheek.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he sincerely responded.
Standing on your tip toes, you leaned towards his lips and placed a haste kiss. He looked at you for a moment pleased at the sudden kiss, a smug grin playing on his lips. He wanted you to kiss him harder, kiss him more passionately and more lovingly. Grabbing the back of your neck, he collided his burning lips with yours, taking you in surprise when he bit your bottom lip. You gasped slightly, in the process letting him slip his tongue into your mouth. Hot and wet tongues collided with each other, fighting for dominance, neither one giving in. That was until, Taehyung tipped you, as if you were dancing.
“There’s a ballroom waiting for us,” he said as he titled your body upwards.
“Come on,” he beckoned.
The picnic basket you’d made for your outdoor date was left on the grassy floor, remainders for the birds you thought as you followed behind him. His hand clasped yours tightly, shooting arrows of love towards your heart. This man was everything you wanted and you were beyond glad he was yours.
As the two of your entered into the empty mansion that had clusters of clothe-covered furniture and boxes filled with things that needed arranging in the proper places, all was forgotten when he pulled you towards the opening of a huge room. Your footsteps echoed through the sun-lit room with windows taller than you draped in velvet curtains, floors that sparkled your reflection, un-lit lights on every wall and a chandelier with a billion crystals hanging towards you. Taehyung came back to you after putting on some music on the gramophone that stood in the corner of the room.
Standing in front of you, a cheeky smile on his face, he offered his hand to you and looked at your expectantly, “Will you have this first dance with me, my lady?”
You giggled as you placed your hand on his and let him lead you into the middle of the vast space. Pulling your closer to him, Taehyung wrapped a hand around your waist and lifted a hand of yours with the his other. The two of you stood in a closed position, your head laying on his chest. His cold skin made you shiver, but you ignored it, letting him glide your through the shiny floor like the expert he was.
For a while you danced to the music. All around the ballroom you went, with Taehyung guiding you along. The music on the gramophone played a slow tune. A tune made for you and him. And as the music came to a stop, so did your dancing halt, eventually leading to the point where you stood close together, heads resting against each other and just moving ever so slowly to the sound of the music that echoed through your heads.
Taehyung placed an affectionate peck on your forehead, pulling you even closer. The angels painted on the mural in the ceiling of the ballroom, stared down at you. You looked into Taehyung’s eye as you searched for an answer.
‘Why did you leave me so early?’ you asked.
Taehyung seemed to have not heard the question as he kept on moving with you in his arms, and with one final twirl he brought you nearer to his body and placed a breathless kiss on your quivering lips. He then led you to the soft cushioned divan sitting at the corner of the room.
Clothe by clothe, every single on of your attires were dropped onto the floor until you were both left in your under garments. Taehyung held you in his hands, just like he had many times before. He kissed you as he made you fall back safely onto the open arms of the chair. You lay on your back and widened your legs for him to placed himself between them. His heated touches, made your writhe underneath. Taehyung flashed a grin as your desperate hands roamed around his upper torso.
“Eager, are we?”
You only smiled coyly at his response, while your hands acted otherwise. You palmed Taehyung through his briefs, making him groan into your neck. His hands caught yours as he pushed them upwards. Holding them above your head with one of his hands, Taehyung bit softly into the skin of your neck. He took in the smell of the sweet nectar that laced your body and whispered sweet nothings to your ear. You bit your lips, trying hard not to let the whines slip out of your mouth. But it eventually did when his fingers grazed your sensitive nipples through your bra. He untied the ribbons that held together the bra and let your breasts loose form the suppression. Your erected mounds yearned for his touch and Taehyung met those needs as he dove into a nipple. Clasping his mouth around it and occasionally peppering kisses around your chest, Taehyung switched from one nipple to the other. You let out sounds that were all too familiar every time you were in a position like this with his large hands roaming around your body. Your fingers massaged through his sculp as he senselessly pleasured you.  
After he was done teasing you, he moved onto you wet heat. He ran kisses down from your breasts, to your navel and to the elastic band of your panties. Biting onto the band, he dragged it down with ease, releasing your cunt to the cold air that made you want to close your legs. Taehyung didn't let you do that. Instead, he dropped his head in between your legs and stripped one long lick across your vagina. Your groaned as you stretched across the divan. Taehyung ate you out like there was no tomorrow, and you withheld every urge to scream out your pleasure.
As you neared your orgasm you gripped tighter onto his hair, making him emit a low growl of pain. He knew you were close but he wasn't going to let you cum that easily.  
Lifting his face off your wet cunt, Taehyung crawled the small distance over to you and kissed you, in the process letting you taste yourself. Pulling down his briefs in a hurry, Taehyung aligned himself in front of your dripping cunt and pushed in when you were not fully aware. Moaning at the sudden penetration, you clasped your legs around his waist and pulled his torso closer to yours. Taehyung let your hands envelope his neck, and your fingers to run through the hairs on the nape of his neck. He placed soft kisses against the side of your face and the column of your neck as he rocked back and forth with you in his arms.
Hurried breaths that gradually shifted to normal breaths were the last thing you heard, before you felt Taehyung’s skin lose it’s sense of realness.
He seemed to be fading from where you stood watching the entire scene unfold. Now, all you were able to see was the younger version of yourself laying on the divan, sleeping soundly, a blanket wrapped around your body. Your blurry eyes looked to the door, waiting for a maid to come in and bring you the news that became the fall of you. Just as you had thought, a pale maid with shaking hands appeared towards where you slept, calling out your name in hushed tones.
“He never returned,” you mumbled to yourself as you watched the younger version of yourself grab the letter from the maid and tear it open, only to be met with heart-breaking news. And for the rest of the your life, you remembered living in utmost misery and despair. No second marriages, no children and no family. Just one love, one soulmate and one forever that ended too sooner that it began.
•••
As you walked onto the grassland, you looked ahead at the young woman who was leaning against the vehicle, a thick coat wrapped around her and a clipboard in her hand.
“Are you ready, Mrs. Kim?” she asked politely.
You nodded your head and went over to her. She handed you the clipboard and a pen. With shivering hands, you gripped the pen and stared at it. You stared at the piece of paper that stated it was going to sell the house.
The house he had bought for you. For the two of you to live in.
The young woman noticed how you needed your time, so she chose to walk over to the other side of the road to talk with the surrounding neighbours regarding the property.
The wind brushed past you, making your heart flutter once more, as you felt a strong presence next to you. He stood next to you, the same cheeky smile plastered on his face. He wore a much smarter suit this time. The suit you had married him in.
A tear slipped past your face as you watched him. Trying to take in his features for the very last time. Even now, at 82, you were still able to remember the mole under his nose, the one near his eye and the one on his lower lip. His ebony hair seemed neatly combed- just like it had always been.
Taehyung held out his hand to you and you gladly took it. Looking down to see how aged your hand looked on his. Obviously you had lived much longer than him, so you were bound to look much, much older than he did.
Gripping your hand and making you look directly at him, Taehyung whispered, “I’ll be gone. I’ll be gone.”
He wiped your tears as you nodded your head, as if agreeing with what he was saying. Then, with one last squeeze to your hand, Taehyung murmured, “I’ll wait when you’re ready to come over to where I am. Then, let’s live together in the new house I built for the two of us.”
And with that, he flew away with the wind. That sincere and genuine smile faded away with the rest of him. Just then, you decided on signing the piece of paper, that also closed a lengthy chapter of your life that you had chosen to spend with the love of your life, Taehyung.
•••
A/N: i listened to one french song on repeat while writing this. it’s supposed to be kind of emotional...although im not sure whether i wrote it in a way you guys would feel emotional. but hopefully, you enjoyed the story.
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oddinary4bts · 1 year
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Crazy for You | kth (teaser)
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☆summary:  you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?
☆pairing:  Kim Taehyung x female reader  
☆rating: 18+
☆genre:  best friend’s older brother to lovers, a little bit of fake dating trope, idol!au, angst, smut, fluff, snippets of life
☆warnings:  alcohol consumption, getting ghosted before the story takes place, lying/hiding the truth to a best friend for months, unclear relationship (and what comes with it aka reader feels cheated on (rightfully so?)), sort of miscommunication? but not really, cursing, mention of a grandparent passing away, a very awkward dinner with all the members and their own readers (no one is named, gets a little redundant? but since everyone is a reader, it had to be done), pregnancy (at the veryyyy end of the fic), explicit content: virgin and unexperienced!reader, dom!tae, praising, fingering, ass slapping, tits play, oral sex (female and male receiving), tied-up sex, whip (not really used in the fic), dirty talking?, protected and unprotected sex, jerking off, taehyung is lowkey a freak
☆word count: 46.8k
☆a/n: aaaah here is a teaser for my upcoming Taehyung fic! It is once again an angsty fic with a happy ending (I can’t seem to be able to write something else than angst, can I :’) ). Once again, it is a very long fic, but you know how I write by now hahaha
Read the other establishments in the Life Goes On series here!
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
“Prove it”, you breathed.
His eyes widened again, but soon they were overcome by darkness, a cloud that covered the light you had seen there before. He wet his lips, looking at you, shaking his head slightly as if he didn’t believe you were real. He then leaned down to speak into your ear. “You just want to be touched, do you?”
Your blood started boiling in your veins at the feeling of his warm breath on the side of your face. “I want to know why people like sex that much.”
“I could show you.”
To have Kim Taehyung say that to you turned you into playdough. Playdough that he could mold into whatever shape he preferred and you didn’t even care. It was your teenager self’s fantasy after all.
And maybe you should have been worried, by his willingness to show you. Maybe you should have been ticked off by it, yet you still found yourself whispering, “Please show me, Tae.”
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Coming Friday the 20th, 5 pm EST
153 notes · View notes
smhtaehyung · 2 years
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Ugliness of Complexity ➳  (1)
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THIS IS A BEAUTY OF SIMPLICITY SEQUEL
masterlist
chapter 1 : loners meet again
➳ pairing: kim taehyung x reader
➳ genre: smut, angst, comedy(?)
➳ summary: after drifting apart from Taehyung after he moved to Seoul to study art, you meet him at the worst place possible. A party. Loners attend the dreaded party once again.
➳ word count: 4,5k 
It's funny how life seems so simple when you're a teenager. Everyone thinks there's some sort of a scheme that you must go through as an adult. A fixed idea perhaps that pushes you through life by setting a task for everything - studying in a stable field, finding a job, being in a loving relationship and all the other things that make life sound not so bad.
Once that passion for a stable life fades quickly, you are left with the pleasure of being young and young only. So naturally, life after high school seemed to change. But the change depended on different factors.
The loud sound of music in the living room invited you in a pleasing manner, given you went to parties every weekend since you decided to not care about studying at university anymore. You were failing, hard. Regardless of how underwhelming your local university was, the thought of going to Seoul and fitting in your fancy pants was the last thing you wanted to do. It seemed like Taehyung managed to shift easily to that lifestyle. Honestly, seemed like it was too easy for him. 
The thing was, Taehyung stopped calling three months after he moved, so the plan of seeing him on Christmas failed along with many other plans you two had.
You hated that still, after three whole years, the thought of him left a sour taste in your mouth. The feeling of betrayal was way too real and serious for it to be ignored or pushed to the side. So, you did what you unfortunately knew well - stayed at your town, got much more bitter and disappointed with yourself, and avoided any topics about Taehyung and Seoul. Hell, you even avoided his house and family by coming home through the back door. And that habit has been going on for years.
It wouldn't be fair to say that you were failing your studies and life plans because of Taehyung, but him not reaching out anymore certainly didn't help. Everything started to go downhill once you finally reached the cursed twenties and realized all the downsides to every life plan.
So, having fun every weekend was your way to cope with failure. Not a good way to deal with issues, but you were very aware of it.
The party you were at was in your neighborhood. It was one of your friends from university who was also very displeased with the whole educational system, especially in the medical field you both were studying. Still, she was a great company for you two to rant.
"Hey, I was looking for you." Jae hugged you tightly, already quite tipsy.
"You good? I brought some weed." You joked around, giving her a compelling look.
"Oh my god, finally! I met some people from Seoul, they didn't bring any! I thought they had the good stuff!"
"What do you mean you met some people from Seoul? Isn't this your house?" You giggled drunkenly, trying to crack the code.
"A friend of mine came and brought a few friends. If I knew they didn't have anything fancy to offer, I wouldn't have let them in, ugh." She scoffed.
Jae was sometimes too direct with her thoughts, especially when drunk, but most of the time she meant no harm. Some situations with her family screwed her over in life, causing her to become a huge opportunist. You admired her way of thinking sometimes, loving that she doesn't take shit from anyone.
"Let's go smoke." You immediately spoke, taking her hand and walking to the backyard. The music wasn't as loud anymore, and some people were standing by the pool, observing the lights coming from the water. See, Jae's parents had just put a new light system in her pool, causing the water to look neon blue. The color was impeccable, the water reflecting on the entire backyard.
"This is so cool!" You sat down by the pool, still feeling tipsy.
"I know, right? So glad the summer is approaching. Ugh, I can't wait to finish this stupid year." She sat down, giving you rolling paper and already rolled filter tip.
You sat down, beginning the drunken process of rolling a joint.
"Hopefully I finish this year just so I can say I finished something." You shook your head in disappointment, mixing the weed with the tobacco.
"I know how you feel. I was thinking of enrolling to a different college actually." Jae spoke truthfully.
A bad idea - You thought, knowing Jae gives up easily on most of the things.
As Jae was rambling about her many wishes that weren't that grounded or realistic, you managed to roll a joint, lighting it up immediately.
The sharp taste made your throat close up a bit mid sentence, but you still managed to speak your mind.
"I don't know. You can always try. All I know is, I'm not going to Seoul, no way."
"Why though?"
"I told you. People become assholes."
"One people." Jae drunkenly commented.
"He's just one of many." You talked about Tae, hating he was still a topic in your life.
"Well, I'm glad I didn't met him. He sounds awfully impressionable." Jae commented. After a few puffs, you passed her the joint, observing some people that hanged around the pool.
The strong smell of weed you were smoking made a few people's instincts tingle. Especially ones who were dying for a few puffs. Especially Taehyung.
You had no idea that the "few people from Seoul" who came to the party were Taehyung and a couple of his friends from his university that Jae knew well. Taehyung was mingling with people, meeting some old friends and enjoying the small talks just so he could prove he's not the fool everyone remembers him for. He drank a little bit only to ease the pressure of coming to his neighborhood after three years. His family visited him by traveling to Seoul, but Taehyung never really wanted to return back. Yet, after a couple of years, he was still hoping to run into you, but he had no words prepared as to what to say to you. And he hated himself for it. He hated to admit it, but the big city life really got to him, completely abandoning that teenager version of him that was filled with 90% of you.
He always thought you were made for Seoul by how eloquent you spoke and talked about all your intellectual interests and wonders about life. If you were to ask Taehyung, he always thought you should've studied humanistic sciences, like psychology or anthropology.
You knocked on the bathroom door. No answer. Thinking the bathroom wasn't occupied, you entered inside, only to be shocked at the view. If you weren't still haunted by Tae, during these intoxicated moments, you might have not recognized him. But, to your luck, you recognized Taehyung sitting by the window almost immediately. Not giving yourself any time to observe how the years changed him and his style, you reacted in shock, your mouth slightly parting.
Taehyung sobered up a little, for a brief second thinking he's been tripping balls due to somebody lacing his weed. Unfortunately, this is how he met you after all those years. It seemed as if Taehyung was hiding, wanting to smoke in peace, away from his Seoul friends.
"...hey, princess." Taehyung spoke out loud, hating how casual and nostalgic that sounded.
"I-You. What are you doing here?" You barely managed to speak your mind, thinking you were going to throw up from all the tension. Taehyung didn't really know what to answer, observing your quite smaller physique and more mature sense of style.
"Can we talk?" Taehyung finally focused, realizing he's been sitting in silence for a few seconds. The music from downstairs was distracting both of you. Especially since you were still standing by the door frame, not being able to step inside.
"No." You answered harshly, not being able to control your emotions. Taehyung didn't even let his brain redirect itself to the image of you leaving, but without a thought, he stormed after you, managing to follow you through the crowd. Once again, Taehyung felt like a teenager rushing after his dream girl, joint still in hand.
You exited through the back door, finding yourself in the backyard by the illuminating blue pool. Taehyung made you quite impressed because he was already standing in front of you, trying to confront you. His dark eyes were the most striking under this light, making you stop for a moment to observe his looks. He had matured quite a lot. His style seemed much more fancy and well dressed compared to how he used to look. The beret was screaming the stereotype "pompous artist" and his shoes were more shiny than the earrings on his left ear. Around his mouth you noticed a slight stubble, a clear indication to you that he was a fully fleshed grown man. His face matured, but those dark eyes always managed to bring out empathy from you. Even in this moment.  
"Go away." You scoffed, going to the other side of the pool, away from everyone including him.
Taehyung didn't realize it, but by following you, he stepped into a trap. A trap he found himself in before. People from the other side of the pool, which you recognized from your high school, were observing the two of you, starting to gossip all over again.
"What? Go away means something different in Seoul?" You provoked in a thick accent.
Taehyung kept silent, hating that no words could sound right in that moment. He knew that whatever he said, he would just feel ashamed.
You started to notice people looking at you.
"I don't want this attention." You sat by the pool, taking a joint from his hand and lighting it up to calm your nerves.
"Don't you think we're passed that?" Taehyung spoke, immediately regretting it after seeing your reaction.
"No, because you ran away from it. I had to face all of them months, YEARS later." You emphasized, hating how provoking you sounded.
"I'm sorry. I'm-I'm trying-" Taehyung sat down a bit too close to you, making you scoot to the opposite side.
"Can we just smoke this in peace and not talk about this?" You cut him off, inhaling another smoke and passing him the joint. It sure looked like the old days, but didn't feel like it.
Taehyung nodded, happy to just be around. He was well aware of how much he fucked up after seeing you like this, and he truly hated himself for it.
The thing was, Taehyung thought, like all teenagers, that life would sort of fall into the right place without much work. Unfortunately, even though he was good with his studies, he neglected one of the most important things in his life - where he came from. He tried to disassociate from his old self, but didn't realize it left many scars.
You were sitting in silence, waiting for him to smoke faster so you could leave to prove some kind of superior role you felt the need to have over him. Objectively, it was weird seeing two ex best friends who haven't seen each other in years smoke joints in absolute silence. It was so much different than how it used to be. You were angry Taehyung was involved in most of your life. Sitting in silence by a person who saw you laugh, cry, masturbate, and was present to hear all your stupid questions. A person who took your first kiss and virginity and who decided to show you off in front of the entire school instead of hiding you. And you admired him for it, but a new found ego tripper fighting with a stubborn defensive girl he used to know was a new reality.
"You look so...small."He took a deep breath, his dull tone catching you off guard. It wss these weird comments that made you dig for Taehyung inside this man who looked awfully similar to him.
"Thanks. Ass and thighs are still here, can't get rid of them." You were showing off a little bit, hoping he'd feel bad.
"Then don't." His words made you roll your eyes. It made Taehyung break a slight smile before passing you the joint.
"I take it back, you are exactly the same, without the whole fancy coat, nice shoes get up and that god awful sterile accent." You inhaled deeply, not even noticing how quickly his smile faded.
"I find that quite offensive." He spoke more eloquently, trying to avoid an argument. You took a few puffs, passing him the joint that was almost done, saving him a few puffs. You got up without a comment.
"Are you seriously leaving now?" Taehyung was staring at you from the ground, his eyes desperate. You noticed Jae looking at you with a concerned look. It did seem as if she cracked the code.
"Hey, we had the dreaded reunion joint, nice catching up with you. See you around." You managed to spoke casually, thanking heavens you weren't sober in that moment because you knew you'd be overthinking everything hard.
It was weird to act this way in front of him, but sitting next to Taehyung after a few years made you realize how much his whole aura and persona changed, and you didn't like that one bit.
Taehyung watched you walk away, hating how casual you looked. However, he knew exactly what you were feeling.
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Slightly hungover from the previous night, you woke up Saturday morning, hearing some louder thuds come from downstairs. Your parents were discussing some sort of a packing plan really loudly.
"God, I have to move out." You spoke out loud, always saying that same sentence every time you realized you were too old to be woken up on a hangover Saturday morning by your parents. Didn't feel as if you matured completely.
You stumbled downstairs, trying to seem as if you weren't so hungover, but your puffy face and big dark circles around your eyes were more impactful than your fake well rested act.
As soon as you entered the living room they stopped packing a small suitcase behind them.
"What are you guys doing?" Your tone did not sound impressed or positive at all.
"Well, you don't have to go with us, but I think I'd be good if you did come." Your dad tried to get straight to the point only to be cut off by your mom to explain it fully.
"Since the warm weather finally came, we're going to the beach house! We've invited Taehyung and his parents too, and I think It'd be good for you too to finally catch up...talk...straighten some issues. And, it's just a three hour drive. We'll be back by Tuesday!" Your mother tried to present her idea to you to the best of her abilities, given she was a very bright woman who had a positive outlook on life.
The thing was, you hated to imagine Taehyung being there. Growing up, the two families would always go to the beach house owned by your parents. As kids, you loved the seaside, playing around while your parents were hanging out by the terrace, drinking wine and talk for hours. As kids, you were quite often bored, which lead you to sneak around them and prank them with silly things. It was those nostalgic moments that popped into your head as your mother was talking.
"I don't know. Not in the mood to hang out with him." You poured yourself some juice, making them approach you closer to persuade you.
"Honey, it's a family trip as well. We haven't been to the seaside in a while. We'd really love you to go." Your mother spoke softly. You were very appreciative of your gentle parents, even though it was making everything harder for you. You took a few deep breaths.
"Fine. Don't expect me to avoid snide comments towards him. I'm going because of you two." Your tone made them both sigh in relief.
Little did you know, Taehyung was having almost the exact conversation with his parents over at his house, however Taehyung didn't wake up hungover.
"I don't know! She was so rude to me. I don't think it's a good idea for me to come on this trip." He was eating the breakfast with his dad, his mom hastily packing her stuff.
"Give it time! I know it's been bothering you, but I think it will play out fine. I mean, this is not your first big fight." His mother added
Exhausted by his parents trying to persuade him, Taehyung finally gave up.
"Fine. I'll go. Don't expect no awkward moments though. She won't budge at your sweetness." He scoffed a little, but just agreeing to the plan alone made them quite happy.  
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The dreaded hour as came. It was around 9 am and your hangover wasn't getting any better. You put on your sunglasses, took a large bottle of water with you to the car and hoped for the best. Unfortunately, you met up with Taehyung and his parents. You were disappointed once you noticed his sister wasn't coming. You really felt the need to have her there. You felt like she's understand your side better.
After greeting his parents in the most welcoming way possible, you turned to Taehyung. Your parents were having small talk, accidentally leaving you alone to speak to each other
"You? Again?" Your scoffed at Tae taking a few sips of your water.
"Nice to see you too." He rested his back on the car, turning so he would face the front, not you.
"You look...hungover." He commented, making you roll your eyes.
"You look...small, you look...hungover. Your descriptions are really getting worse each second." You mocked his deep blunt voice, trying to make him feel dumb.
"Who are you? I don't even recognize you anymore." You never heard him speak in such a disappointed tone.
"Could say the same." You got into the car, not letting him say anything back to you. Your parents noticed Taehyung rolling his eyes, sighing to themselves once seeing how much you distanced away from each other.
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After a whole day of pretending Taehyung's presence wasn't bothering you in front of your families, you finally found some quiet time. Thankfully, everyone was busy with making lunch and dinner and unpacking, so you felt as if you dodged the bullet of the first day. The first had to be the most awkward day, right?
You did catch a glimpse of Taehyung's physique every now and then. You hated how good he looked. You didn't know that Taehyung did the same. He was drooling the entire day because of you, wanting to impress you or just get you to talk to him, you didn't budge.
The dinner was the most awkward thing that happened that day. Mainly because you had to sit opposite Taehyung in complete silence while your parents were discussing something you two had no interest in. Taehyung really kept his eyes fixed on you the entire time. It made you very confused.
Finally, the after hours came. Your favorite part of the day. The moment the entire house turned silent you felt relief. You no longer didn't need to act a certain way. You no longer needed an excuse to be angry at Tae. However, feeling his presence in the house was stress inducing enough. 
You finally unpacked some of your stuff and rolled yourself a joint to smoke before dozing off to sleep. The balcony looked very beautiful under the stars reflecting the light. You walked outside, breathing in the clear air. You enjoyed the soft wind that played with your hair and your dress under your cardigan. After Taehyung left your town, you had to learn how to get high alone. Granted, it wasn't as fun anymore, but smoking and getting high alone really influenced your outlook on life. it was those thoughts that deepened your perspective on the whole situation and made you really stand up for yourself. However, you really missed smoking and just having fun, feeling dumb and young and free. Somehow, that without Tae turned into a depressing bad habit.
After a few minutes of you nervously smoking the joint on the balcony, you heard a few timid knocks. Thinking it was your parents, you tried to cover your hand by hiding it behind your back. Your sighed once you saw Taehyung opening the glass doors, his posture slouched down.
"Can't you just leave me alone?" You scoffed, turning your back to him to continue smoking.
"Actually, I can't. Your room has a balcony. I want to smoke too." He pulled a joint from his pocket.
You really wanted to suggest him to go smoke outside, but given how clumsy Taehyung was, he would've accidentally push something over and cause a ruckus either coming back to his room high, or getting down there to smoke one in the first place. So, naturally, you wanted to avoid a disaster by dealing with a smaller one.
"If we can't break the ice, let's smoke it." Taehyung tried to quote a movie, the illogical sentence making you giggle. Taehyung felt success in making you laugh.
"A Beautiful Mind? Really, you watch movies like those now?" You giggled, resting your arms on the balcony fence.
Taehyung managed to get closer to you, realizing how much he missed you in moments like these. Just the two of you under a cold breeze night at the beach, smoking and enjoying the high. He only wished for you to get softer towards him. So, as Taehyung stared at you, he tried his hardest to soften you down, hoping he wouldn't say anything wrong.
"Well, kind of over the whole phase of "let's watch Final Destination when we're high of our asses" He giggled to himself.
"Touche."
"You wanna watch something later?"
You stared at Taehyung's question, hating how smooth he sounded.
"No."
On the other side, Taehyung really hated how blunt you sounded.
"Then before you go to bed, care to share if something happened in your life while I was gone?" He whispered, catching eye contact with you.
"Wouldn't you have asked before if you really cared?" You were inhaling nervously.
"I'm sorry, I know. I was just-" He tried to make an excuse, moving closer to you.
Taehyung's mind was overwhelming him. He began the worst word vomit, not being able to stop. "I panicked. I was so overwhelmed with Seoul and I was stupid for stopping texting and calling you. I never forgot about you. I just...felt as if you were doing better now that I was gone. The texts from you too. And-and It all started feeling distant. So I felt as if it was better for me to just let you be. Away from my own foolishness. I'm just-I'm sorry for hurting you. And I missed you so much and still am, even though you're here." Taehyung spoke in a very eloquent manner, making you feel quite proud that he expanded his poor vocabulary from three years ago. You hated how much his Seoul accent showed though, loving his old accent more.
"Tae, I don't know what to tell you. I'm still mad. I think this last 24 hours have been way too overwhelming for me. I can't not be mad at you." You finished smoking, putting it out. "Just, don't you have the need to touch me, hug me?" "I don't know, it's confusing. What, you have nobody to touch so you're lonely?" Your high mind completely understood his words in a wrong way. "What? No, not in that way." He turned to look at you.
"I didn't mean-I have a crush back at Seoul, okay? I wanted to ask you if all this means something to you. Like being here, does that mean anything?" Taehyung's old way of speaking poked through, making you realize he only spoke this way when high and slightly confused.
"Wow, I am getting nostalgic with you mentioning all your crushes." You sarcastically said. Taehyung ignored your comment, hating how you never took his crushes seriously. In a way, he hated he couldn't take them seriously too, so he understood and hated himself for what you said.
On the other end, you hated he mentioned that.
"What about you?" He asked, his eyes flickering with a tint of curiosity in them. You sighed, obliging his question, giving into the conversation.
"Nobody. Got out of a relationship recently." You spoke almost immediately.
"How long?"
"Two and a half. Didn't work out in the end though." You looked down, trying not to show too much emotions in front of a young man who almost completely became a stranger to you now.
"Is it someone from the neighborhood?" Taehyung asked a question which made you gulp a little bit. You almost had a feeling as if he knew who you were talking about.
  It was the guy he hated the most at parties, certainly because of how he groped your thighs roughly and never gave a second to appreciate your soft lips. It was Hoseok. After Tae left for Seoul, you found yourself so angry and sad that you entered a relationship just to spite him, even though he had no idea and neither did Hoseok.
But soon enough, it really did turn into love, even though it took you two a whole year of an established friends with benefits relationship. He too fell for your charms, and hated when he heard how Taehyung left you all alone with no text, call or even a postcard as silly as it sounded. Hoseok's touches became softer and full of love. The parties were fun at the start too, but during your weight loss, you found yourself so insecure when Hoseok would chat with other girls that you thought were much prettier than you.
But as much fun as it was, drinking and weed became your occupation, so studying was difficult too. You knew you had to call it quits before it escalated. The drifting away from him part was the main thing that told you it was over. The flare was gone, so both of you agreed to stay friends, even though you haven't heard of him in a while. Classic.
"You remember Hoseok, right?" You asked in a manner that wasn't intended with provocation, hoping Taehyung wouldn't judge you.
"That scum? Really? How naive are you? He's such a narcissistic idiot." Taehyung's accent was filled with arrogance.
You started to feel anger creep up on you. "You have no idea how much he helped me after you left, so stop talking shit, Tae. Hobi really changed. People change after high school for good unlike some." You started walking away from him.
"Hobi." He scoffed at your endearing nickname as he watched you walk away.
"Just stop. I don't know why you're acting as if you weren't a fool in high school and as if you're better than him." You scoffed again to which he just stayed silent for a while, picking his words wisely. Taehyung followed you into the room.
"I'm sorry, I just hoped while I was gone that you were going to find someone who I thought was right for you. Please don't cut me off, I want to say a few more things." He stopped you before you even could cut him off.
"No, this is not one of those conversations we have when we'd get high. Not happening." You turned around only to look at him. Taehyung was truly standing way too close to you, his strong perfume hitting you. His lips barely parted, only to catch some air that left his lungs. He felt so tense standing this close, but that exact feeling made you both stand in silence for a couple of seconds. Number of words that could be said in that moment were scarce.
"I-I think you should leave." You stepped away from him, sitting on your bed.
"Can I ask you for a favor?" He walked towards the door.
"What?"
"Let's do this again tomorrow." He slightly smiled, leaving your room.
Fuck. - you thought to yourself.
58 notes · View notes
sugarlywhispers · 5 months
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☆—Attack on Titan!AU | ANGST, Fluff, +18
☆—Eligere Me | War Harry Potter!AU, Death Eather!Min Yoongi, Muggleborn!Reader, Angst, Dark Themes | Serie | [CHAPTER ONE] [CHAPTER TWO] On going...
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☆—Only You | Mafia!AU, NSFW, +21
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☆—Gf gives him a blowjob | NSFW
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☆—Gf gives him a blowjob | NSFW
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4 notes · View notes
casnextdoor · 2 years
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Gonna Love Me
A/N- Gonna Love Me has literally been in my drafts since August of last year. soooooooooo, i went back and edited what i had and then finished the storyline but beware,,, the last half is absolutely NOT EDITED OR BETAED ! also this is my longest work yet… cuz i have zero patience,, so…. yeah. Enjoy!
Summary- Two high school sweethearts get together for one more night of nostalgia.
word count- 4.4k
pairing; Taehyung x Black!Fem!Reader
Genre- Non-Idol au, Angst, Fluff, exes to lovers
Warnings- Swearing, Illusive mention of sexual content, angsty shit, reader is specifically a black woman so if thats an issue, leave ig, if i missed anything— my bad.
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You were woken up from your restless sleep by the pelting of pebbles on your window.
The digital clock on your bedside table read three thirty-three am. You rolled your eyes at the irony before blinking the fuzzy feeling of sleep out of your consciousness.
The pelting didn’t stop. Only continuing and becoming more frequent, rotating in four second intervals of quiet before another round of three pebbles in a row.
Pelt, pelt, pelt. Silence.
The silence in between pelts was loud. The drafty air whipping around the room— due to the very creaky ceiling fan — blew the baby hairs loose from your bonnet and whooshed through your ears eerily everytime the pelting stopped.
The eeriness of the silence made you roll out of bed and pad over to the window.
You lifted the window and poked your head out to look down at the front lawn of your childhood home.
Being back home was weird. Five years away, building your career only to return to a place that was frozen in time. Nothing had changed. The gossiping popular girls in high school still gossiped at their jobs in the diners. The drug dealers still dealt. The weirdos were still weird, but they made a living out of it. Nothing had changed. But weirdly, everything had.
Everything had changed, but unsurprisingly, this didn’t. He was still ever the night owl outside of your window trying to whisk you away.
Two stories down, leaning up against the old oak tree you’d grown very familiar with, was Kim Taehyung. Clad in a black leather jacket and black skinny jeans, he made pulling from a cigarette one of the most attractive things you’d have the selfish pleasure of witnessing.
He shot you a cheeky grin that gleamed in the moon before exhaling the smoke and tilting his head to the side.
“You’re back in town.” It wasn’t a question. He rode past your parent’s house everyday to get to the compound. This morning, as he rode past, he caught a glimpse of that same 2010 Kia Soul you’d been driving since your senior year of high school.
Even after all these years, you’d held onto that piece of shit car. He chuckled inwardly a little at the memories of all the times he’d changed your tires or taken you to get a tune up because you were, quite frankly, the worst at keeping up with your car.
He’d loved that about you back then. You never made him feel useless, but you never took advantage of his time.
“Who even smokes cigarettes anymore?” Your voice was hoarse with sleep but still so very soft. He could count on his hands how many times he’d tumbled off of the edge to your voice. Even after five years, you were still so soft spoken and it had him chubbing up in his jeans.
He just shrugged. That aloof, nonchalant shrug that used to make you want to punch him and fuck him all at the same time. It paired well with the little smirk he wore on his boxy lips. He’d mastered the art of making you lose your cool with just his body language.
“What is it, JD?” He laughed out loud at that, pulling another drag from the cancer stick and shaking his head at you. He wondered how many times you’d watched Heathers after leaving home. It was your favorite movie and by association, his too.
He shrugged that stupid nonchalant shrug and exhaled the smoke. “Thought I’d come see if all the rumors were true. Hyejin says you stopped at Pops for fries. Said you got fat.” You rolled your eyes, she told you that you looked good.
You hummed, leaning on the seal of the window, as he stomped out his cigarette and subconsciously shook his dark, wavy hair. His tongue swiped over his bottom lip before he glanced back up at you through his lashes.
“Let's go for a ride. For old times sake.” He watched you bite back a smile.
You shook your head, the silk bonnet moving everytime the tuft of curls underneath moved. “I don’t know, Hyejin might tell everyone you’re seeing me again. You remember how that went last time.” He knew you were joking, but Hyejin had it out for you since middle school. You were the only black girl in your class and that carried over into high school and adult life. You stuck out like a sore thumb. And that didn’t include your ability to have the worst attitude known to man and your inability to, for lack of better words, shut the fuck up. Taehyung had grown to love you for all of these flaws and more, and somewhere down the line, you’d started to love him too.
Too bad things don’t always work out how you intended them too. It was a shame, you’d say to yourself later on, you had so many plans that you’d drawn him into. Now you were working toward those dreams and he wasn’t in any of those pictures.
He only shook his head and gestured over toward the sleek black motorcycle he’d loved almost more than you. He’d kept up with it over the years, leaving the paint to only be chipped around the tires and for the rust to be minimal. You loved that bike more than words could really express. There were so many memories attached to the old bike.
“Put on a jacket, you’ll get cold.” You snorted, in all his aloof attitude he still cared about your well being. Hyejin would die if she’d see him right now. Twenty-five and still waiting on you hand and foot.
You pushed back into your room, snatching the bonnet off of your head as you went. Your fists collected the damp curls and secured them at the base of your head – helmet hair on you was not a good look.
You slipped your own black leather jacket over your choice pajamas and cringed at the clash of colors that was your outfit as you stared in the mirror but decided against an entire outfit change– it’d take too long. You’d tiptoed down the steps and wiggled your feet into your outside slippers and slipped your house keys into your jacket pocket. You tiptoed out the door without a second thought.
He looked as good as ever sitting on his bike. The years had done him well, you decided. You could feel your chest tighten as you closed in on him.
He still took your breath away, no amount of time would change that.
“Still riding around without a helmet I see.” His eyes snapped up to you and his breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t the only one who had filled out over the years. Your hips had rounded out, leading to a beautiful set of plush thighs and nice legs. Even through the loose pajama bottoms, there was still so much to see. You had the same beautiful eyes and nose and the one dimple deep enough to drown him. You just seemed more mature now. Adulthood was your prime, it’d seem.
“What, cat got your tongue?” He rolled his eyes, ignoring the way his heart fluttered a little. “Still don’t know how to shut the fuck up, huh?” The corner of your lip lifted at that as you approached him.
“You used to love it.” You swung one of your legs over the back of his bike and settled in behind him, wrapping your arms around his middle.
“Hold on tight, chatterbox.” He glanced at you over his shoulder, laughing when your only response was a small bite on his clothed shoulder.
The entire ride was nostalgic, like an old tv show or a discontinued candy. He didn’t talk. And neither did you – the sounds of the city were enough for you. He’d peek back at you whenever he could, just to steal a glance at the way your face would glow under all the street lights. You were always beautiful, even in the unknown of the night. It was about fifteen minutes before he could muster up the courage to disturb your peace.
“How ‘bout a slushie, princess?” You giggled and he could see the two rows of glimmering teeth without even looking back. He could imagine you in any light. He saw you in everything he did, five years and no contact didn’t change anything. “Yeah, I could use something to drink.” And with that Taehyung obnoxiously revved his bike up and sped off to the best twenty-four hour mini mart in the sleepy little town.
__________________________________________
The mini mart didn’t change. It remained in dire need of a paint job just like when you were high school. The lightbulbs still flickered ominously and the entire store still reeked of fried foods. You could recall more times than you can count where you and Taehyung had found yourself here – even when you weren’t supposed to be.
And just like in highschool, Mr. Choi sat behind the counter with the same warm smile he was known for. His eyes lit up the minute you walked in and he clapped happily as if you were a celebrity. “Miss Y/n. How long has it been?” He croaked in his familiar gleeful drawl that you’d come to love.
“Five years. How are you, Mr. Choi?” You asked politely as Taehyung brushed past your figure in favor of approaching the humming slushie machine. You watch out of the corner of your eye as he fills a big cup with the blue semi frozen drink – he still remembers your favorite flavor. You kept polite conversation with Mr. Choi as he filled you in on what was going on in his life (San and Wooyoung moved in together just like you knew they would). He’d even asked for your number, just so he could put you in contact with San – making sure to mention how much he missed you since you left.
The conversation was coming to a close when Taehyung approached the counter with a box of Mike n Ikes, skittles and a large slushie filled cup – two straws because he remembered how much you hate when he drinks from the same straw as you after he smokes a cigarette. He dropped the items on the counter and waited patiently as Mr. Choi rang up all your items just as he had when you were younger. Everything about this exchange reminded you of why you came back home.
With the air of Nostalgia still circling you like a blissful wind, you lazed around on the little bench outside, tucked off in the darkest corner of the store. He opened your straw and put it in the drink on the left side of the lid and put his on the right side. He opened your skittles and it was right about that moment that you realized how normal this all felt. How much you felt like the same seventeen year old girl who let Taehyung whisk her away in the dead of night for anti-climactic adventures like these. Now you are twenty three. You were an adult with a whole life somewhere else – this had to be torture for him. You had to remind yourself that he decided to stay here, in this little town.
You remember feeling like you were going to suffocate if you hadn’t left. There were so many attainable dreams outside of your home and you wanted all of them. His life belonged to the streets you grew up on. He said so himself when you begged him to leave with you right after your graduation. That was the last time you spoke to him.
“What’s on your mind, princess?” You glanced up from your open pack of skittles to meet his intense glare. Time had really done Kim Taehyung well. His chest filled and he was no longer the lanky eighteen year old boy who bought the motorcycle with two months worth of yard work money. His face was familiar but it’d changed. His once child-like features had now sharpened into those of a grown man. His boxy grin remained though. His eyes were still sharp and he had a few years worth of stories to tell written across his face. In the soft glow of the moon and artificial lighting, he was a man, the man you still loved so much.
Your lips pursed as you mulled over everything you could possibly say to him. Five years worth of words you wished to tell him – whisper it to him like a secret on the moon and stars would bear witness to. So many stories you're sure he’d laugh at. So many experiences you wished he’d been there for. You wanted to yell at him for not coming with you. You wanted to cry into the cracked leather of his jacket and tell him how much you just wanted him there. You wanted to call him selfish for not following you anywhere like he’d promised he would. To call him out on all the empty promises he’d made. So much to say and yet…
“I missed you.” You settled for instead. His face didn’t change except for the arch in his right brow and the slight twitch in his lips. He knew it was something else but he wouldn’t push, not when he had you right here after so many years. He sighed. “God, you don’t know how true that is for me, too.” You could feel his stare better than you can see it and he was only a few inches away. A bitter taste blossomed on your tongue and words were being spewed before you had time to rid yourself of the taste.
“”I’ll follow you anywhere’ huh?” He let out an even deeper sigh, this one coming from the depths of his stomach where he could feel the guilt pooling. He didn’t say anything. He knew you had more to say and he wouldn’t let you walk away until you had said it all. And just like he knew you would, you kept talking. “I mean, I had so many plans for us. I’d go to school and study and you work toward opening that garage like you wanted to so badly. We’d be engaged or married by now. Maybe I’d be pregnant. But instead, I’m dating and having meaningless sex trying to move on because christ sake, Y/n, you were fucking eighteen! What did you expect? But I can’t shake the feeling that we would’ve lasted forever.” You took a deep breath and shut your eyes to rid yourself of the tears you felt pooling in your waterline. You purse your lips again, this time just trying to keep in the three words you wanted to say so bad. And like a whisper from the universe told him to, Taehyung spoke.
“You saw us getting married?” You could help the scoff-like chuckle you let out and that made a boxy grin break out on his face. That was all he needed at that moment. A reminder that no matter what happened back then, he was still your boy. Your number one. He could still make you smile or laugh, regardless of the situation. So with that feeling, he let himself be vulnerable in the dark corner right outside your favorite convenience store. “I meant what I said. I would follow you anywhere. But when the time came, it all felt too… real. We were kids, baby. I wasn’t ready for that.” He reached out and grabbed your hand. His finger traced over the crooked ‘T’ on your finger that had long since faded. He smiled at the memory of your pinched face as an eighteen year old Taehyung poked you over and over again with a needle until the ink was permanently decorating your finger. ‘Your ring. Until I can buy you a real one.’ He remembered saying and watching proudly as you smiled at him. He was so naive to believe you’d be his forever.
“And now, you're successful. You’ve got a whole life away from here. Friends, a job. Maybe even a partner. I can’t help but feel like I’ve missed my chance.” You scoffed at that. You weren’t one to usually anger quickly (Taehyung and all your high school friends would one hundred percent call you a liar if you ever said that out loud) but something about him giving up so easily pissed you off. He was supposed to fight for you. All of you was hoping that when you came home, you’d be able to try again. But only if he was willing to work for it.
You stood up, snatching your hand out of his hold harshly. He watch on confused as you crossed your arms over your chest and shift all your weight to one leg – your trademark stance that came together right before you blew up like a bomb of attitude problems.
“So that's it? ‘I feel like I’ve missed my chance’? That’s all I get?” You weren’t yelling, more like, speaking louder than usual. He sat back against the bench, legs naturally falling into his default manspread. Confusion was still scrawled blatantly across his face but now a hint of aggravation had joined the already confusing mix of emotions swirling around the two of you like a dark cloud.
“What more do you want me to say? We were kids, Y/n. You left. And we’re adults now. Move on.” It hurt him to say just as much as it hurt you to hear. And he would never forgive himself for the way the tears began to well up in your eyes. You didn’t bother blinking them back. You just let them fall as you took in his words. Move on? Had he showed up at your home and taken you out for a night of nostalgia just to tell you to move on? Had he grabbed your favorite candy and taken you to see your favorite old man just to tell you to stop loving him? He wasn’t going to fight?
You blinked a few times before swiping at the stray tears still streaming down your face. If he wasn’t going to fight you weren’t either. You didn’t have the emotional armor to deal with the kind of hurt that would come with that. You couldn’t blame anyone but yourself at that moment. For believing that you could just come home, and make this man love you again. For being such a hopeless romantic. For still being in love with him. For not choosing the good guy back then. You could name a billion other things you’d done that led to this. But that wasn’t going to change what just happened or make him take back what he just said. So you turned your back to him.
“I… can’t believe you. Good night, Tae.” And you were gone, trudging away into the night with tears streaming down your face.
He cursed under his breath. He really didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. He just didn’t want you hurting anymore. You still had such high hopes for him – expected so much from him. He’d loved that about you back then. No one believed in him and yet there you were, helping him come up with names for his car garage. ‘Tae’s Princess Palace’ he decided – he needed to pay homage to you at some point. You were his sole motivation.
He had rehearsed so many times what’d he’d say if he’d ever seen you again. He’d planned to tell you he loved you. He’d planned to get on both knees and tell you to take him wherever it is you went. He’d try his best to be the best for you. He’d find a job and invest in a place to start his garage. He’d propose to you. He’d buy the ring. Hell he’d get the ring made because you only deserve the best. But then he saw you. You were just as beautiful as before, maybe even moreso. You looked happier. More fulfilled. How could he let himself walk into your life and fuck that all up?
Now you're walking home in the dark and you’re crying. And it’s because of him. It’s because he can never say or do the right thing. Not when it comes to you. When it comes to you, everything that makes sense is wrong. All the green lights are red. Left is right. Black is white. He is a complete fool. He can’t think past go or speak up for himself. You were the one thing in this world that made him lose his cool.
He had to think quickly. Would he let you leave again without telling you how felt? Without getting on his knees and begging for your forgiveness? Or would he chase you down? Would he tell you all the things he wanted – no needed – you to hear?
His feet were moving before his brain could rationalize anything. His candy and drink was left behind and he was on his bike quicker than he’s ever been. He didn’t have time to waste.
It didn’t take long to find you, keeping a steady pace on the sidewalk only five minutes down the road. You didn’t make it very far and he reminded himself to thank your mother for giving you such short legs. He slowed his bike to keep pace with you and waited for you to glance at him. You didn’t.
“Princess.” No response. “Baby.” Nothing. “Y/n Y/l/n.” You stopped. That's progress, he decided, and he wasn’t going to give you the chance to back track. “I love you. I do. I always have and five years isn’t gonna take that from me. So tell me what you want me to say. What you want me to do. I’ll say it, fuck, baby I’ll do it.” Your lips trembled but you still didn’t look at him or say anything. “Please.” He added as a last ditch attempt. The tears started falling again – you always were quite the crybaby.
You took a deep, trembling breath before turning to face him head on. “I wanted you to fight for me. Tell me that these last five years were hell for you just like they were for me. Tell me that you thought of me every single second of the day like I did you.” You purse your lips, thinking over your next sentence. “I wanted you to tell me that it didn’t matter how many women you’ve slept with over the last few years, I will always be the best. But you didn’t. You told me to get over it. To move on. So I want you to live with that-” Before you could finish your petty spiel, you felt the elastic keeping your hair out of your face snap and all too suddenly you were temporarily blinded by the thick, slightly damp curls.
It was an afterthought. Something that was muscle memory for Taehyung. He hadn’t even really thought about what he was doing when he got off his bike and approached you. He didn’t even acknowledge you speaking. There certainly wasn’t a single thought in his head as pulled your hair up and away from your face. Not an idea behind his eyes as he gathered your hair into a puff of curls at the top of your head and secured it with a hair tie he conveniently carried on his wrist.
It wasn’t until your hair was barely contained and secured in the hair tie, that he'd realized what he did. It really was a reflex. Something he couldn’t help. He’d done it so many times before, so when he saw that cute little pout of irritation form on your lips, he did what he knew how to make you less upset.
The way your eyes glimmered with unshed tears as you looked at him was an indication enough that you realized that too. “You still carry hair ties for me?” Your lips trembled and you looked about a few more seconds away from bawling. He placed his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. If he was going to say what he needed to, he needed you close. He needed you to hear everything.
“I still wear the hair ties. I still put your straw on the left side even when you sit on the right because that’s how you’ve always preferred it. I still eat all the yellow and green skittles because you don’t like them. I still remember how to tie your scarves and I keep silk bonnets in my drawer. My sheets and pillowcases are silk. You don’t even live here anymore and yet everything I do, there’s this… essence of you.” He placed his forehead on yours and he felt the shaky breaths you were taking blow against his neck. “I love you, Princess. I never stopped. I need you to know that before you leave.” His hands slipped from your waist and you panicked when you felt his forehead leave yours.
It was completely out of desperation. The way you gripped his jacket lapels and pulled him aggressively toward you. The way your lips crashed against his in a ferocious kiss. It was all spit and clashing teeth and pure desperation. His hands found themselves wrapping around the back of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer. You could feel his heart racing under your fingertips as he reciprocated the messy kiss. He’d have to pull away soon, he knew that, but you still tasted like cherries and chocolate and you still fit so well to his body. So when he found the inner strength to pull away from you and you chased after his lips with a little pout, he couldn’t help but smile proudly. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip and watched as your lips parted so obediently for him. Still so submissive for him.
“Wherever you go, from here on out, I’ll go. I swear. Anywhere you are is where I want to be.” Your eyebrows furrowed. “Promise?” You whisper against his thumb. He smiled down at you, leaving a wet peck on your plump lips before dropping one of his hands to yours and lacing your fingers together.
“I swear it.”
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soliloquyboopboop · 2 years
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TIME AND TIME AGAIN- 6
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“As far as Korean scholars went, no one left as strong an imprint as the physician, Kim Taehyung.
A fantastic physician, Kim Taehyung, who we know was born sometime in the Goryeo dynasty, was one of the best documented of his time. This is partially due to his many travels across the Korean Peninsula, where many people kept records of his miraculous cures. We can also observe from his journals that he was an incredible record keeper of medicines and medicinal ingredients found in Korea, which have come to influence many of our modern medicine ingredients today. His meticulous documentation was perhaps the biggest factor in the boom in traditional Korean medicine in…”
History of Korean Medicine. One of your favorite books, you thumb through the wrinkled pages.
You’ve made it quite far, haven’t you?
From a poor girl in the countryside cared for by only her grandmother to a resident in her final year of practicing toxicology, your horizons have expanded– and are yet to grow bigger.
Even if your future won’t be in Seoul.
In your university lab in Sokcho, you sigh in self pity. After just a few more years, you’ll be done. 
But you can’t study right now, even with your favorite book, so you decide to procrastinate on your lab and escape to the nearby forest. One benefit of being here?
Seoraksan. The magnificent mountain.
Intimidating and aways flaunting its grandiose greenery, you love it. Air has never smelled so nice, especially after staying in a stuffy hospital lab.
After a short 15- minute walk to the base of the mountain, you begin trekking your way up, admiring the scenery as you go.
There are some mulberry trees, some Korean chestnuts, camellias, towering trees that seem to watch over you…
You sit down quietly from the rock you stand on, observing the rest of the mountain. If you’re really lucky–and quiet– you can catch a glimpse of Semi-Moon Chest bears, which are pretty cute. And pretty damn scary, so staying quiet is always the best idea.
But it’s silent. Just some frogs from a nearby waterfall croaking, and the rustling of leaves in the breeze.
Sigh. It’s calm– wait.
What… what is that?????
Is that a bear?? …No.
“The fuck is that?” You ask no one, your head tilted quizzically.
A flash of blue and brown appears again through the trees, and then proceeds to trip and fall.
Into the aforementioned waterfall. Now you really know that that… thing is not a bear. Hooray.
But regardless, you run over to the blob that’s now floating and gasping for air.
“Hey, excuse me? Are you alright?”
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