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ivy-loves-chocolate · 1 year

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As it was

✧.* Pair: Leon S. Kennedy x F!Reader;

✧.* Plot: Leon and the reader are meeting after the events of RE4 to catch up. They meet at a bar to eat and talk;

✧.* Tags: fluff.

✧.* Ko-fi || Patreon ✧.*

"Oh my God, how much he changed..." You thought so when you saw him. The moment he noticed you, his face brightened and his frown disappeared completely. His lips curved into a big, beautiful smile as he approached you.

Even if he was happy at that moment, you still couldn't find the rookie you met all those years ago. He was a completely different person, one haunted by the outbreak and all the difficulties he had to endure, but who could blame him for this change? Still, there was a tiny bit of that rookie inside of him that gave him his boyish charm.

"Long time, no see, stranger." He said this as he hugged you tight.

You and Claire had a special place in his heart because all three of you went through the same hell together.

"It's hard to reach you nowadays, Leon."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I had tons of classified shit to do."

You hugged again, and this time it lasted a few seconds longer.

"I wish I could tell you." He said as he caressed your back, "but I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you."

You both laughed at his cheesy joke.

"You grew up, Leon." you said as you withdrew, arms sliding along his shoulders, "You're a big government agent now."

"It's not as exciting as people think it is." His smile faded for a second, but it came back. "Should we go inside?" He asked, pointing towards the bar's door.

"Yeah, sure"

His eyes had a trace of nostalgia in them as he watched you. You didn't know, but you changed too.

Being the gentleman he is, he opened the door and held it for you. Then you found a table in the corner and sat down, looking over the menu.

You still couldn't believe how much this man had changed. Your gaze kept shifting from the menu to Leon until a waiter arrived.

"Can I take your order?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll have a cheeseburger with fries, and you?"

His voice changed too. It was deeper, and he sounded more confident in himself.

"I'll take the same."

A small pause followed until Leon spoke again.

"So, what have you been up to?" He asked, playing with a toothpick but without taking his eyes off you.

"I got myself a job in the BSAA. Surviving Racoon City opened some doors to me."

"BSAA? That sounds amazing." He seemed proud of you. "So you get to work with the legendary Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine?"

"Not yet, but I hope I will soon. But until then, I hope I'll get to work with the legend in front of me."

Leon burst into laughter.

"You are adorable."

Everything went smoothly that night. The food was great, you both were in a good mood, and Leon even offered to take you on a motorcycle ride.

Before driving in the city, you stayed outside and talked for a bit. The night came, and it was a bit cold outside, but Leon was nice and gave you his jacket. He was resting his back on the bar’s wall with his hands in his pockets, and you stayed the same but with your arms crossed. You both faced the road.

"Do you have any plans next weekend?" Leon asked, fidgeting in place.

"Are you asking me on a second date, Leon S. Kennedy?"

"Yeah, I mean, you asked me first, and I thought it was my turn." A shy smile appeared on his face.

"I didn't realize we were keeping score."

"Heh, well, it's not just about that. I enjoy your company, that's all." He spoke quickly.

"I can say the same."

Leon looked around nervously, not knowing what to say next. You looked so cute wearing his jacket, and he just wanted to hug you and held you to his chest all night. He missed you too, a lot, and wanted to contact you many times, but his job kept him very busy.

"Listen I-" he started "I just missed you, that’s all."

Here it was the rookie you remember: shy, sweet, and very awkward when it came to expressing his feelings.

"It’s ok" You firmly grabbed his shoulder. "I missed you too, and now I know where you work, so next time you ignore my calls, I will simply show up in your office."

He chuckled lightly.

"Yeah it’s just that, after Racoon City, everything changed-"

He lowered his eyes, and his tone became feeble.

"And maybe we should talk about that some other time." You suggested it, seeing that his mood was changing. "We met today to have a good time and enjoy ourselves, remember?"

"Yeah, you’re right." He said this, turning his head to look at you.

"I’ve seen how you look at me, tho." He continued.

"How?"

"Like I’m different. You’ve been staring at me all night, and I don’t think it’s because of my good looks."

"Well, it can be that too. You’re a handsome man, it’s impossible to look away."

He giggled.

"C’mon, be serious."

"Ok fine. Well, to tell the truth, I really think you changed. You are more…gloomy, serious…"

He sighed.

"We changed too."

"But…" you began to wave your hand in circles around his face, "there is still some of that rookie inside you."

"And how’s that rookie to you?"

"He’s sweet, kind, and has a great sense of humor."

Leon smiled and nodded.

"I think you’re the only one who sees that part in me."

"Well, it’s been a long time since I saw you."

Another pause followed.

"You changed too, you know?" Leon said.

There was something in the way he was looking at you. Even at the bar, his eye followed your every move, as if he were trying to find someone. There was a bit of…sadness in them, maybe when he realized that you weren’t the same either. But he was happy the whole night. He told a lot of jokes, laughed, and disclosed some sensitive information that would get him fired if another agent heard him.

"How so?" You asked, knowing that he would address this subject eventually. Still, you were curious.

"You are more…I don’t know, sad, absent."

Leon waited patiently for you to answer, his gaze not leaving your body.

"We can’t just ignore what happened, we have to move forward with our lives. I guess that sometimes my mind wanders back to that night, to all the people we lost…including ourselves."

You both sighed.

"It’s funny, tho, how our minds end up being our number one enemy. The path we chose is a dangerous one for sure, but it makes me glad to have people like you next to me." You looked up and saw him taking a deep breath and resting his head on the wall. Maybe it was too dark, but you swore you saw him blushing a bit. Was he holding in a smirk?

"Yeah, I’m glad I have you by my side too." He rubbed your shoulder as he turned his face to look at you again. "It’s just, it never ends, you know."

"It has to." You came closer to rest your head on his shoulder, and his arm slid along your back to grab your waist from the other side, holding you with a firm grip.

Feeling that things might go in a weird direction, you spoke.

"I don’t know about you, but this talk kind of saddens me."

"Yeah, same. Sorry about that, it’s kind of my fault."

Oh, don’t be," You pulled away from his embrace, and tapped on his shoulder as a reassuring gesture. "Talking about your feelings it’s a good thing."

"You’re right." He smiled again. Oh, how you missed that smile, even if it was gone for just a few minutes.

Leon turned his head to face the motorcycle that was parked in front of the bar.

"Hey, I promised you a motorcycle ride, didn’t I?" He turned his head to look at you.

Yeah, you did, Leon. Do you intend to keep your promise?"

C'mon, sharp tongue." He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

You both disappeared into the night at high speed, and you held tight to him as he drove past cars.

The ride made you feel good, it made you feel free of your worries. The wind blew through your hair, and the cars became nothing more than bright dots and lines. You lost track of your surroundings. You didn’t know where Leon was taking you, but you trusted him and held onto him tight the entire time. He gave you a feeling of safety. Perhaps his body was not the only thing you were holding tight to.

Taglist: @lunarastrobabe @ravenrune @alegrvs

#resident evil #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #fluff #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 4 #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader

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langdhon · 5 months

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These times are hard for many of us for a variety of reasons. And while I'm not at all a christmasy person, I think it can't hurt to spread a little gingerbread sweetness in shape of appreciation. They seem to be just words typed on a pixel background, but I mean them. As a thank you, let me get all mushy and give shoutouts to you people:

Under the cut because it got really fucking long.

||| First of all, my closest/longest roleplay partners:

@ravenskeeper: Andy, the light of my experience. The FUCL to my ATTACL, one of the most creative people on here and longest writing partner. I can't imagine my guy without Alice in his life anymore. We've created such a profound dynamic out of literally nothing but a random starter 1 1/2 years ago. And despite some jealous assbutt trying to kick you, you stayed, kept slaying and I hope you know how fucking strong that makes you! I also love for us how we rapid-fire our shit back and forth most of the time because we infect each other with the inspiration from our muses harmonizing so damn well. Sure, I adore everything you do, also on your multi and Dream, but your OG brainchild Alice always has a special place in my heart.

@eyeless-smiles: Why don't I know what to call you after such a long time of our sickos murdering and diddling their way through existence together? Wanna preserve a mysterious vibe, huh? Jk. Such laid back and easy-going writers like you seem to be a rarity nowadays, and you're super kind whenever we have our little chats. While I enjoyed every second of seeing your writing evolve, your muse grow, I appreciate most how you can fit Corinth into so many situations and still have him be him. It's easy to tell you have fun. That is contagious tbh. Interacting with you is always a joy and I hope we'll keep that going for the next 100 years!

@viiolencia: Lune, you funky moonthey! We've already written on my old muse loooong ago and I immediately fell in love with Sira. I'm so happy we have our hellish little shits interact too, and what a blast that just is I have no words!! Besties with benefits, a dynamic I'll always cherish. They're chaos, sitting in the same boat while also not. It's so special. Your writing as such? Chef's kiss. You're one of those partners whose replies to me I read multiple times because your prose flows so beautifully while never straying from depicting the ugly details. You paint literal pictures in my head with your words and I'm so living for it. I'd eat your writing if I could.

@hiveruled: Kai is a dick. But you, Bo the bro, ain't; you're super chill and I love seeing you drag Kai through the dirt, as I occasionally drag Michael too. You understand that there's a difference between exploring the mind of a bad guy and the person you really are; it's almost like psychologists being fascinated with the most unhinged minds, to comprehend how they work. Writing our two idiots provoke each other is so so much fun. You're also, I'll never forget, the first AHS roleplayer who welcomed me and Michael. I appreciate you always.

@malka-lisitsa: I remember when we became mutuals. We immediately were on the same wavelength when it came to how we both are most interested in diving into our characters' psyche. That this is what it's about for us. And I see you dig into Katherine's heart and soul every day, you never fail at filling in the gaps canon left to render her the one-dimensional villain. You showed me, us, that she's not the cutout bad bitch. What should be obvious, you made us see in detail. Michael and Katherine together? Priceless! Anyway, you're such a force on my dash that when someone says November, I don't think of the month first but of you.

@colorsdevoid: Yes, Genesis, you have many muses Zach would be proud of you portraying because you do it amazingly. Still, Thomas is the one I got to know best by now and with who Michael interacted most, so I'm sort of biased. Sue me, ha! I instantly loved him because he's somebody you can easily have compassion for, all the while not excusing the path he took. And I'm so thrilled to see him bloom when brought back among the living, in a world that'll treat him better than the one he was born into. A world still needing improvement, but better nonetheless. I look forward to seeing where all this takes him!

@multi-royalty: Maddie, the gal who juggles a bunch of super different characters every single day, and all of them are amazing on their own. I don't know how you do it, especially since you've got a fair amount of high-maintenance divas in the mix, so I imagine sometimes your head must go BOOM. I've only ever seen you as the sweet presence on my dash, which is always a bright spark in my daily experience here. I know you struggle, but I also see you fight this bitch trying to paint your thoughts all black. I'm proud of you and I hope you are proud of yourself for creating such a lot every day, too

@asteritm: We haven't written in a while, but you were one of my very first writing partners on this blog, this muse. They immediately kicked off with an equally chaotic vibe and it's been such a blast all along! Whenever they didn't try to 1-up each other in sass-battles, they could get super soft with one another; this duality is super interesting to play out. Also because Lilly is one among very few able to overpower my brat. It's something I dig so hard because it forces him to tone his shit down sometimes. The way you write is so alive too. Fresh, never monotonous, it really conveys Lilly's entire chaotic energy!

@zealctry: A, your Malcolm went through more than a handful headaches with my guy here, while with Hidan? I suppose our dudes either give each other the same headache or none, because they are both murderous chaotic fucks who don't beat around the bush. Writing with you was always a pure pleasure and still is! You put up with Mikey's bs even when I sat here hoping he'd just... shut up and think for a second. You have such a colorful mind and the way you write is a mirror of your creativity; it's so real, so vivid. Every reply from you is a treat, like a warm chocolate pudding during a winter evening.

||| More partners that I adore and send my love to:

@anthrcpophagi and the beautifully written Maren Yearly, a sweet yet dangerous character who absolutely deserves more recognition. @butscrewmefirst and the flawless take of Elizabeth, who's been around for over half a decade by now, can you even believe? @bunnyblooded and the Stefan I didn't know I needed to see until I did. @bratprinced, if you want the actual Lestat to throw his dramatic antics onto your dash? That's the go-to. @griefknown and a lovely Elena, who's just as troubled as she's the town's sweetheart. @hybrid-royalty-main who always provides fun times with all those funky little dudes. I hear their voices in their replies, no shit. @hecatespower the only Mallory I've seen around in a while and given so much more depth it's simply beautiful. @havvkinsqueen Victoria is one of the absolute sweetest persons on this whole site, an inspiration for us all, and her Chrissy is the only one for me. @monstriiss and their giant monster milf who can eat your man and probably will, literally btw. Not just an original but original original concept. @munsontm with their funky little Eddie, who gives no shit about gender norms while being metal af. @pumpkinstabs, the person who made me get actually interested in Myers, who gives him such intriguing nuances. Love it. @ruinedmyself and the lovely babygirl Sammy who needs snuggles but receives struggles; pls go and hug him. @spynorth and the Spooks spy Michael likes to slam into walls. Lucas shakes his head at his own muse a lot and that's what I'm here for. @stanfordprepped and the fanged cutie Sam that you can corrupt today! For only $0,00 and a cup of demon blood. @sarcasticsnackpack with that guy with an aversion to his birthname. Super fun to write and chat with. @snowreignd who's brave and comes around with the worst fictional president to ever president. I love that rounded take! @thcmcnstcr and a super cute but equally as dangerous half-angel, also found on @scldiersmercy and @blccdwar. All intertwined. @untilthcyrot with a variety of great muses, most of all the little big sister to my idiot son here. Super fun to talk to as well.

||| Last but not least: those I yet have to get into writing with more:

@fallenregent you're amazing and so is your Davina! @fangsforhire you give off fun-vibes, which I love to see! @pohlepen you give us a messy woman who kicks ass and you just.. rock! @pumpcursed you unapologetically enjoy yourself, as we all should! @traumapyre you're a sweet bean and deserve only good things. @zmogedra you sure have that cannibal down to a T. And pls get well soon!

I didn't @ multiple blogs of the same writer, just know I love every blog I follow! Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't follow, duh ♥

#positivity

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shuttershocky · 2 years

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There's a strange "privilege" I think about sometimes: getting to be a hater.

I cannot stress enough how much being a creative for a living, not just making things but needing to make things to eat, blunts your ability to hate on the internet.

If you showed me now to the me of ten years ago, the past me would find the current me unrecognizable. I was picky as hell with what I liked and notoriously difficult to please, and because I liked to write a lot, I learned how to state my vitriol in words and say exactly why and how I thought something was shit.

I got good enough at it that I got paid to write reviews about video games while in college, and while I attempted to make my criticism more constructive and state my opinions as opinions rather than fact, I wasn't about to go lowering my standards just because someone was an indie working on their first game.

At the same time though, I ended up writing FOR local projects, and that's when it really landed with me that this shit is fucking hard.

Making anything at all involves baring a piece of your soul to the world, but all I had ever made before were short stories that made no sense and would get laughed out of literature club and embarrassing video game fanfiction I was too ashamed to upload to my account on fanfiction.net. I hadn't made things that people were actually supposed to read and play before, and seeing people at cons reading my words on a screen (on a project that sadly went unreleased due to other reasons) was an excruciatingly humbling experience no writing tips or advice ever really prepared me for.

I felt the effect almost immediately. Lots of little annoyances in a game I'd play or in a movie I'd see that I would have given it shit for in the past would just... Get accepted. Some mistakes or even whole creative choices that used to be dealbreakers for me were just regular old minuses. Things I would have found merely passable before became likable in my eyes. I started to find the roughness charming, imagining what sort of bullshit must the creators have gone through to even release this thing at all.

The thing is, I don't think my critical eye has weakened at all. I can still pick out and name parts of a work I would have torn to shreds when I was a teenager. I can still go ham on something I find particularly egregious if I really want to. I just... Don't really want to nowadays. Not anymore.

I don't have the energy for it. I think about what it must have been like to work on something and my tone immediately dials it back several notches because I was once hired to write for a game while in a very dark period of my life and that memory haunts me still.

Now when I don't like something half the time I just don't mention it. When I like something even a little I talk up what I find so enjoyable in it, and I don't even LIKE being positive and restrained, it's just what comes easier to me now. I kinda miss being a hater, but I'm slowly coming to accept that those days are done.

This is just something I think about every once in a while, because now and then someone still remembers how I used to be and assumes I've still got these impossibly high standards. I've had a friend tell me "So and so said that if [Shutters] likes it, it must mean it's really good", and I kind of just have to give a half-hearted "Oh well you know it's got its flaws, I just had a lot of fun" because people regarding my approval as some kind of seal of quality feels sinfully good for my ego, but I don't like getting people to expect a masterpiece off of something that only promises a fun ride. That wouldn't be fair to both them and the work.

I guess I'm still adjusting to my changing standards. There is one nice side effect though: it's a lot easier to enjoy your guilty pleasures when they become just pleasures instead.

#All this to say I would not have liked Tsukihime the same way ten years ago #something about understanding the feeling of writing even when you feel like garbage because you can't eat if you don't submit something #really makes its rough but earnest nature charming

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cavalierious-whim · 11 months

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Eons later, they are still in love. Written for Our Last Epiphany, a NSFW ZhongXiaoZhong Zine.

You can also read here on AO3 for better quality. If you enjoy my content, be sure to follow me on Twitter as well, and consider supporting me on Patreon!

It’s strange, the way that his muscles ache despite not having fought a battle.

Xiao hasn’t conjured his lance in what feels like decades but when he tallies up the years, he realizes that it hasn’t been just centuries, it’s been nearly an eon.

Time is so strange for an adeptus. It isn’t that they don’t age or feel the effects of that time, it’s that the scale is just different. A blink and the world is different, the people are different, and the stars in the sky aren’t the same.

There’s a shuffle behind him and Zhongli’s arms slip around his middle, his chin dropping to Xiao’s shoulder. He never really got taller but he’s filled out a little in the years that have passed. Even so, Zhongli has to dip low, leaning over him.

“What are you thinking about,” asks Zhongli, his deep baritone seeping with tired sleepiness.

“My hip’s bothering me.” Xiao sighs. “Nothing too terrible but…” He waves vaguely.

“Hm. I remember when the aches started. It isn’t fun and it doesn’t get much better.”

Xiao sneers. “Fantastic.”

Zhongli chuckles and presses a kiss to his neck, his teeth just barely nipping at the skin there. “Come on, it’s a nice day. Let’s spend it together.” Then, he leaves him, slipping back into their room.

They don’t get many days like this, quiet ones where the breeze is just right. Despite having all the time in the world, it always feels as though they have none. Xiao still wanders and pays his karmic debt, but the grudges of fallen Gods have weakened. Rarely is his hand needed nowadays.

He still feels it, though, how the weight of that debt tugs at his being. It aches nearly as much as his tired and aging body that twinges. Xiao rubs an elbow idly.

Still, things are good. Exactly what he wants. Sunlit afternoons spent reading books and papers while draped across a couch in the ancient Wangshu Inn. Lazy nights in front of a fire, listening to Zhongli snore. Liyue has changed so much and technology has flourished, but the Inn has hung on stubbornly, its antiquated visage something of pride.

They occupy the topmost floor and are left alone. The Goldet family still feeds him their famous almond tofu, even now.

Once, Xiao thought he’d never find peace. He still wonders if this is what it is. Xiao always has one foot rooted in uncertainty.

“Xiao?” Zhongli’s head pops around the corner. He’s dressed in a plain cotton shirt and trousers.

Warmth fills Xiao’s chest at the sight of him. Perhaps he’s closer to peace than he thinks. “Let’s stay in,” he says softly. “We’ll rest and read on the balcony, and share pot after pot of tea. I know it isn’t much, but—”

“It sounds perfect.” Zhongli’s voice is warm with affection. He watches Xiao, his eyes crinkled with fine lines of age. Still so handsome, especially now.

Xiao smiles back.

They do exactly that and it’s nothing but sweet indulgence that’s rooted deeply in each other. Zhongli lays on their porch couch, Xiao’s back to his chest.

With the centuries has come innovation. Technology rules an era where there’s so little nature left. Xiao misses the bygone ages when he could see clifftops and rolling hills as far as his eyes could manage. Now, his eyes are shit; all he sees are the blurred edges of sparkling highrises.

Zhongli holds open a book with yellowed pages and years of stains. His arms are wrapped around Xiao’s waist as they read it together.

It’s a collection of dusty old quotes, selected portions of popular stories through the centuries. Zhongli is rather attached to it. “‘I wish I knew how to quit you,’” he reads in an ominous tone.

Xiao snorts. “I hate that one. So dreary.”

“Still a good book.”

“If you like romantic tragedies.” Xiao doesn’t. If you asked a thousand years ago, he would’ve spoken positively. In his old age, he’s learned something astounding: Xiao rather likes enjoying his life, particularly with this old fool of a man.

“‘I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life.’” The next quote that comes is boring. And incorrect.

“Common man,” murmurs Xiao, tracing his fingertip along Zhongli’s arm. “I think not, Master.”

Zhongli chuckles behind him, his chest rumbling. Xiao hasn’t called him that sincerely in so long. Now it’s nothing but a silver-tongued pet name.

“Which is your favorite?” asks Xiao, already knowing the answer.

Zhongli shifts behind him, reaching around to turn a dog-eared page. Zhongli’s favorite, which makes it Xiao’s favorite. Zhongli’s mouth hovers near his ear. “‘You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how.’”

Xiao’s heart lurches at the fine words curled right into his skin. He plucks the book from Zhongli’s fingers and sets it to the side.

Zhongli’s legs immediately spread wide, allowing Xiao to slot in between them. He hangs over him, pressing Zhongli back into the sofa, his gaze washing over his face. Worn with age, wrinkled and crinkled, but oh-so-handsome. Xiao loves the crow’s feet and soft laugh lines.

There was a time when neither thought they’d make it this far, but those are now fleeting memories of the past, lost almost entirely to time.

“Just like that?” asks Zhongli in amusement, tugging Xiao closer. “With so few words?”

It’s words like this that set Xiao’s gut burning. He slips down that slope so easily. Perhaps it is even worse now that Xiao is allowed to be familiar, to touch and love Zhongli as he wished for so long ago.

It’s still novel, thinks Xiao as his gaze turns hungered and he feels pleasure pooling in his gut. Just like that indeed.

Xiao grasps Zhongli by the chin and tilts his face up. “You should be kissed often,” he muses as he looks at him.

Zhongli watches back, eyes affectionate. “You certainly know how.”

Xiao kisses him, a sweet and tender thing. Their lips meet languidly, Xiao licking into Zhongli’s mouth. It’s so familiar, so well-known that Xiao gets lost in it. He loses sight of everything else as he slips entirely into pleasure.

Zhongli lifts a hand, threading fingers through Xiao’s hair, tugging gently at his scalp to change the angle. His other hand slips around to grab at Xiao’s ass, pulling him closer and—

Xiao practically purrs into Zhongli’s mouth, feeling the hardness that fills his trousers. He pulls back from the kiss just long enough to say, “Just like that?”

And Zhongli laughs, kissing him again, this time more fiercely. Xiao nips at his mouth, catching his lip between his teeth. He drags a hand down Zhongli’s front to slip into the loose collar of his shirt. Oh, how Xiao wants to lick his way across his entire being.

“I did want to spend time with you,” says Zhongli against him, chuckling softly. “But—”

“Don’t say that you didn’t expect this.” Because Zhongli should’ve. Even now, they can’t keep their hands off each other.

Their third kiss is animalistic, teeth clacking as they bite at each other. Zhongli reaches underneath Xiao’s shirt, scratching at the skin there. Xiao moans into his mouth, their tongues meeting in a wet embrace.

Xiao loves moments like this, small pockets in time where everything else melts away. Zhongli grinds against him, their cocks dragging with delicious friction, and he moans low and deep.

“Xiao,” says Zhongli quietly, “Get up and come here.”

He does, shifting until he’s kneeling stock straight, fingers curled into the couch. Zhongli shifts slightly until his face is level with his tented cock, nuzzling his nose along the length of it.

“Oh,” breathes Xiao, already holding his head there with one hand, just a gentle pressure against the back of Zhongli’s scalp.

Zhongli says nothing as he pulls Xiao’s trousers down, freeing him. “Out here on the balcony?”

“Don’t care,” says Zhongli, wrapping a warm hand around Xiao’s length and pumping it once. He looks at Xiao’s cock like it’s a masterpiece, his eyes warm and crinkled around the edges as he smiles softly.

Gods, Xiao loves this man. Never thought he’d have him, but here they are eons later, Zhongli ready to worship his cock. Which he does. Zhongli presses a kiss right where his cock meets his groin, nipping at the skin there. Lifts a hand to cradle Xiao’s balls, squeezing them gently. Then, he licks across his length in a teasing little stripe.

Xiao sighs as he watches, brushing Zhongli’s hair back from his forehead. “Always so good for me,” he murmurs.

“Yes well, it’s easy when I love this.” Zhongli presses a kiss to the tip of his cock and then swallows him down.

His mouth is hot and wet. He tongues around the underside of Xiao’s dick before sucking around him. Xiao melts, moaning as he slips in deeper. Zhongli is dutiful in his attention, working his mouth with enthusiasm.

“Gods.” Xiao moans softly, his head tipping forward as he tries not to buck into his throat, but it’s hard with how perfect his mouth feels. Xiao distracts himself by tugging at his hair sharply, something that he knows Zhongli loves.

Zhongli groans around him, the sound of it just as addicting as the way his throat vibrates. He grasps Xiao by the ass and pulls at him, encouraging him to move. So he does, sinking his cock into his mouth that last inch or so, until Zhongli’s nose is nestled into the coarse hair at the base of it.

It’s nearly enough to tip him right over, and Xiao would relish in it, losing himself right into Zhongli's throat, but—

“Zhongli,” murmurs Xiao, smoothing his thumb over the high arch of his cheekbones, and then down to feel the swell of his cock in his throat. Xiao swallows thickly when Zhongli looks back at him through wet eyes.

“I want to take care of you, I want—”

Zhongli’s eyes darken at that and he pulls off of his cock, swirling his tongue around the tip.“You want to fuck me,” he says, rather crudely, and all it does is cause pleasure to pool deep into Xiao’s gut.

He does. He wants to pick Zhongli apart and lose himself entirely to the feel of him. “When do I never want to fuck you?”

“Hm.” Zhongli looks amused as his hand still slides along his cock. He pauses to lean forward and lap up the precome that drips from the tip, and Xiao feels the pleasure in his core nearly snap once more. It’s sinful, the way that he looks when Zhongli does something so simple, so inelegant.

Xiao wants to see him utterly ruined by his cock instead.

“I know that look,” says Zhongli, not unkindly.

“Gods, I want you.” Xiao’s hand tightens against the back of the couch, his nails digging in. Zhongli watches him back with glittering, golden eyes. He might not be an Archon anymore, but neither of them is mortal, and Zhongli knows when to indulge.

It’s less than a minute to the bed, which is far more comfortable than fucking outdoors. Zhongli has already pulled off his shirt and tossed it to the side, his fingers curled into the waistband of his trousers. Xiao’s shirt is open and unbuttoned, his fingers making quick work of it on his way inside. Zhongli slides into the bed and settles on his back, waiting for him, naked and legs spread.

“So handsome,” says Xiao, soaking up the sight of him, lingering as he leans against the doorframe, his trousers still slung low on his hips.

“No, you,” says Zhongli, watching him with a dragon-like gaze.

It’s natural, falling into the sheets with him. Their bed is warmth and comfort. Xiao hangs over him, palming down his front and across the sharpness of his hips, and Zhongli arches into the touch.

Xiao presses a kiss to Zhongli’s throat. “All mine,” he says, his tongue snaking out to lick against his skin, tasting it. And the sounds that Zhongli makes—all of them curl right at the base of Xiao’s cock where it’s hard and leaking.

Zhongli too. Xiao swipes his hand across his length, smiling against Zhongli’s neck when he moans.

“So slow,” he murmurs, squirming in the sheets as he shuffles around to reach underneath a pillow.

Xiao snorts when he produces a bottle of oil. “That eager?”

“When am I not?” Zhongli throws his earlier words right back at him, and Xiao’s mouth curls into a real, rare smile. Zhongli takes a moment and grabs Xiao’s hand, pulling it to his mouth. Kisses the ring that sits there, his mouth lingering as he nuzzles it. “Husband,” he says so lovingly, “please indulge me.”

Xiao sighs softly as his heart tightens. “All right,” he says, slicking his fingers up and pressing them to the crease of Zhongli’s ass. He circles the tight entrance there, easing the way for his finger.

Zhongli moans the moment the first one slips in, his thighs spreading slightly. Xiao laughs against his collarbone, pressing a kiss there. He teases him, sure, but he loves that Zhongli is so ready and responsive.

Xiao is quick in his work, pulling at his rim and pressing the finger in deep. A second joins the first and Zhongli keens, hips lifting off the bed slightly as his head falls back. Xiao nuzzles the inside of his thigh, biting at the skin there, curling his fingers fervently as he tries to find—

“Ah—” His mouth curls into a feral grin against Zhongli’s thigh, and he presses his fingers deep against his prostate. “Oh, oh—”

Xiao pulls his fingers out because he’s feeling a little cruel, and Zhongli whines as his hips chase his hand.

“Cruel,” says Zhongli with a huff, wriggling underneath Xiao’s firm grasp.

Xiao settles between Zhongli’s legs properly. He smooths his hands along Zhongli’s sides, taking in his slim form. Not much has changed over the centuries, aside from wrinkles here and there, and deep-seated tiredness that sags his bones.

Zhongli is still the most handsome man he’s ever known, and Xiao tells him this as he slides his cock right in. Zhongli sighs as he fills him, head falling back, his eyes fluttering closed.

He looks so good, taking him like this. Xiao presses in eagerly until his hips meet Zhongli’s ass. “So good for me,” moans Xiao softly, sweeping his hand down hardened muscles. “You always take me so well.”

Zhongli opens his eyes and they meet gazes. He’s flushed pink from his cheeks down to his collarbone, eyes half-lidded with lust. “I do believe that I said to indulge me,” he drawls, his voice low and husky.

Xiao can’t help the curl of his lips as he looks down at him. And, oh, he will. It isn’t often that Zhongli prefers to be underneath him, but when he does, Xiao makes the most of it.

He pulls out to the tip and thrusts back in, and Zhongli keens below him, responding so perfectly. Xiao won’t last long, not with the way that Zhongli clings tight around his cock.

Zhongli’s legs are a little too long to be easily manhandled, but Xiao presses his thighs back nonetheless. When he fucks into him, Zhongli pushes back, meeting every movement with the rise of his hips.

It’s delicious, the way they watch each other. Zhongli’s gaze is utterly ruined, his red liner smeared around the corners of his eyes. Xiao knows he’s a mess too, looking entirely gone as his cock slides into Zhongli over and over with an effortless glide.

Wet, warm, and tight, and oh-so perfect. Xiao can already feel the pressure churning in his gut as he ruts into Zhongli with a little more force. Zhongli looks too good below him and he just loves him too much.

He doesn’t go fast; Xiao opts for fervent, long strokes that strike deep. The angle is good enough for Zhongli to fist at the sheets. He moans low in his throat, the sound so debauched that Xiao nearly loses it right then.

Instead, he distracts himself, scratching his fingers through the coarse hair at the base of Zhongli’s cock. Then, he wraps his hand around the length, pumping it gently, a far cry from the way that he fucks into him with measured, heavy movements.

“Xiao, Xiao—” It’s a whimper that dissolves as Xiao’s hand curls around the head of Zhongli’s cock, spreading the precome there. He groans as Zhongli tightens around him, the squeeze nearly suffocating.

Zhongli comes first, his come flooding Xiao’s hand. Xiao soaks up the sight—how overstimulated and sensitive Zhongli is; the way that he writhes underneath him, riding out the high of his orgasm; the feeling of his ass and the vice grip it has around Xiao’s cock.

Xiao ruts into him with several aborted thrusts before he tips over the edge too, that fiery pleasure in his gut snapping entirely. He collapses against Zhongli, pressing his nose into the juncture of his neck, pressing soft kisses there as he spills everything that he has deep into him.

“Fuck,” he murmurs against sweat-slick skin. “Gods, I love you.”

Zhongli presses a hand into his hair, combing through it. Sighs contently as he relishes the way that Xiao’s plastered himself against his front. They stay like that far too long, growing sticky with their mess.

Clean-up is quick and efficient. When Xiao slips back into the sheets again, Zhongli is on his back, his arm open and waiting. Xiao rests his face against his chest and Zhongli resumes tangling his fingers into his soft hair, scratching lightly at his scalp.

“We’re old,” says Xiao finally. “I’m sore and I ache. I am often tired.” He doesn’t mean just physically, he means his mind too. Time passes and erosion tugs at his seams, whether he wants it to or not.

Zhongli hums softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Might I suggest retirement?”

Xiao snorts. Then he falls quiet, thinking, just for a moment. And then he says, “This, I won’t tire of, though. What we share. It’s everlasting.”

Zhongli shifts slightly, grasping at Xiao’s left hand and thumbing over that beloved ring that sits there. “I love you,” he says, kissing the knuckles of his fingers gently. “Forever.”

Xiao never thought he’d have forever, but it’s nice that time has proven him wrong.

#genshin impact fanfic #Genshin Impact #genshin smut #Xiao/Zhongli #XiaoZhong

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moni-logues · 6 months

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I think I understand what you mean about true crime, it's like the industry romanticizes it, right? I also don't like the way it's told/popularized by the media in a way. That whole Dahmer documentary on Netflix and everyone transforming/dressing like him and falling in love with Dahmer was kind of disgusting. But I want to study psychology someday, so it's something that kind of appeals to me.

Yeah, I saw Dexter. I think Dexter and Hannibal are like: 101 Popular Psychopaths You Should Know.

And yeah, I meant like a reader x member story that's not told from the reader's point of view. But I've also never read anything with a third-person narrator. I miss that when I read fics instead of books. I'm sorry, it's just that English isn't my first language.

About uni aus… it's not that I don't like it completely, you know? It's just something that doesn't make me want to read, you know? I find it a bit… silly, BUT I still read it, even if I don't like it that much, I think that even if I don't like it, I can still get something out of the story that I can enjoy or learn from. And sometimes it's something you learn to like over time,

me from five years ago would say: who reads fantasy? what's the point? is it to escape yourself and your boring capitalist life?

I've read a lot of fantasy nowadays and would probably say to the me of the past: What's the big deal? girl, what's the big deal with YOU? try reading, have fun even if you don't like it or hate it. And what I'm talking about… I love to read things I hate just to torture myself... yes, I'm that weird.

but, of course, your case is different, you don't like/love this kind of type of reading/trope

That said, I'm reading After Hours by @archivedkookie. It's uni au! but I also love basketball and I love Yoongi so… it's the best of both worlds.

If you liked Hali's Angel, try Obsidian's Yoongi, also by Hali (I'm sus to talk about it, I've read it a hundred times). Hali challenges you with what you don't like? 😁😁 She's good, right? 🤪 And now that I realize I misspelled it, it's @pennyellee.

Thank YOU for interacting with me, I know you're busy and I really love interacting with people and getting to know them better. -lilshy

girl, istg, I am the least busy person in the world lmaoooooo I have NO social life in the city I live in so my weekends are just me on my one lol I was supposed to be painting my bathroom as it's been replastered but the plaster hasn't fucking dried yet so I've done nothing. I got out of bed at noon today 😅😅

and yes that Dahmer shit is exactly the thing I'm talking about. it's fucking gross and there's a lot of true crime stuff where victims' families are like... very much still alive (or even victims themselves depending on the crime) and I find it kind of weird and gross that people are so fucking rabid about consuming content and getting excited about like.... the worst experiences of people's lives y'know?

haha I have grown out of hate-reading! now, if I don't like something, I give up, or I skim very quickly to see how it turns out. but I don't want to waste time on things I don't enjoy. life is too short and too difficult and too miserable already y'know? i need to spend time with what I like.

I feel like I might have seen After Hours on my dash but I've not read that either! I have so many fics in my likes right now waiting to be read that it's going to start giving me anxiety lol but I will bear it in mind when I've got through some!

and honestly, all of Hali's masterlist (that I've not read already) is on my tbr list. she's a prolific bitch (affectionate) lmao 🤣 AND Jai @gimmethatagustd

#lilshy #ask logs

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twst-drabbles · 1 year

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I know you asked about the favorite fic question a while ago. But we shall call this fashionably late!

I’ve always got a sweet spot for the Octavinelle bunch! I was the one who requested the wind up toy one and Azul’s first words.

My favorite pieces are Octavinelle 3 and Savanaclaw, Scarabia, and Pomefiore 1. Honestly I couldn’t tell you how much I read them over the span of a couple of months. It was like a nightly ritual. I’m not sure what it was about those but I’d give them a quick read before bed and be immensely satisfied.

And a new favorite addition is the windup toy one. I love how you described Floyd more as observant in that one. And every time you described one of em punching the frog I imagined a peacock mantis shrimp punches. I can so vividly see the sand being scuffled about.

I’d have to say you’re like the famous last bite of a meal. Or a tart pastry! You don’t over sugar your stuff and I love ya for it! In fact you’ve become the only way I’ve been reading fluff nowadays and am eager to see more constantly! Which is so weird cause I’m an angst reader/writer 100%.

I really admire your short formatting of writing. At first I’ll admit I always wanted more but then I thought to myself what else could there possibly be to add? Thus I discovered your talent for endings! As you can tell from this long message, I always write a bunch so seeing impactful short stuff “by my standards”, will help with that issue I hope.

And lastly I really like how the caretaker can either be their own character or a self insert! I’d never go on any trips with Vargas yet here I am giving a pat on the back to caretaker and telling em good luck! Or how while I’m not the most avid Silver or Kalim enjoyer sometimes I’m like ok caretaker gimme the wheel again I think I’m starting to “L word” them a little more. Also nicknaming the Octavinelle bunch “little shits” is always super homey to me and it feels so right!

This is just a long winded thank you for what you’ve written thus far! I really enjoy everything you put out. And I can’t wait to breach into your oc blog. If you love angst I’m a great supplier in requests!- Signed yours truly Frosty!~

No need to worry, there isn't a due date to any of it and I'm always welcoming to such essays spouting what your favorites might be! It cheers me up no matter how late they may be.

I certainly do love messing around with the Octavinelle group as one of my family members actually used to take care of fish. I loved feeding them and just watching them swim from one end of the tank to the other. While, by all means, they're not your standard fish, it's still fun to sneak in a little fun fact about aquatic life when I can.

Actually, back in the middle of my high school years, I used to write rather long winded myself, as a result of all the old novels I would read that would have such a writing style.

Example from one of my oooooold pieces of writing down below, regarding a Church Grim.

It didn't make any noise whatsoever. It didn't leave footprints in the soft grass, or even a lingering stench on the tree's bark to indicate it might be something of this living world. But, there was nothing to remember it by, beside those angry red eyes that would shift into sight from under its smoking plume of black. It would take a glance at you, and you would stare back into it. Then it would be gone by letting its form be embraced by the shadows created from leafy tree branches. You can see it again through the lush trees blanketed by the cloudy purple night. You watched it float through the flower garden without a purpose, much like a piece of paper in the wind, shifting from one place to another in an effortless glide.

Well, actually I can still write like this, but it's not a writing style tailored for my decaying attention span. I have to be in a certain mood to really get into it. But yeah, I preserve this style specifically for horror writing and professional novel writing.

And yes the self insert certainly has a personality that it won't match your actions word for word, as the reader insert is a character, a part of the narrative, so they must have some amount of agency to keep the story going less they become replaceable with a lampshade or camera.

So, instead of going down the route of keeping the reader insert as blank as possible, might as well give them a personality that people will remember. Every time I write about the Caretaker, I feel like a little unseen ghost looking over their shoulder, just wondering what they'll do next.

Thank you Frosty for taking the time to write all that to me. It really cheers me up while I'm laying in bed, under mountains of blankets.

#admin #NRClutter

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seidenbros · 2 years

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Hello! I love your Geraskier fics, so can I request #26 from the 2021 Spotify Wrapped Fic Meme thing for them? I hope you're having a great day!

Hello, my love! YOU have no idea, how much I chuckled to myself when I looked up WHICH song you chose, and it's a German song which fits the two of them perfectly in my opinion. (Here's a rough translation) I put this in a modern setting, because it fit better with what I had in mind, so I hope you will enjoy this. i certainly had a lot fun writing it <3

(Taken from this list and here are some other prompts, but feel free to request anything <3)

Warnings: fluff Word Count: 1711

_____________________

“Geralt? Meet me at O'Neill's Pub at 8, okay?”

“What? Why?”

Not that Geralt is opposed to going out with his childhood friend – at least not in general – but this is a little sudden. It's already past seven, and usually, they plan these nights sooner.

“Just don't wanna sit around at home. I want to go out. So are you in?”

He should probably say no and keep his distance, but he can't let Jaskier down. He's never done that before, so Jask would know that something is going on.

“Alright. See you in a bit.”

Geralt heaves a sigh. This isn't a good idea, not after all the tingles and butterflies he felt the last time they were together. They grew up together, have known each other ever since Jaskier's family moved in next to Geralt's The new kid, the one that was shy at first but lit up as soon as he spent time with Geralt. Best friends, that's what they became and what they still are nowadays. Their parents went on vacation together with them, had game-nights, and they are still really good friends today – just like Jaskier and Geralt. Once they were old enough to not need a babysitter their parents went out together, while Geralt and Jaskier spent the evenings together in front of the TV, watching trash-horror-movies – needless to say that Jaskier was the one hiding behind a pillow, while Geralt chuckled to himself watching his best friend nearly shit his pants.

When they got older, they went to University together, helped the other through heartache, and Geralt even hit the asshole that cheated on Jaskier, because he deserved it. Whenever they needed the other, they were there – and that was still true today, after so many years. Nothing ever happened between them, not even a drunken kiss. They danced together, laughed together and felt normal, no racing hearts, no butterflies... But a few nights ago, everything changed at least for Geralt.

They were out, drinking and Jaskier had too much, so Geralt took him home to his own apartment, not wanting to leave his best friend alone for the night in case he had to throw up. Jaskier cuddled up to Geralt all the way home, and once they were inside, he immediately went for the bedroom, because he knew Geralt's home like the back of his hand. Geralt just wanted to put a blanket on him and sleep on the sofa, but Jaskier pulled him close.

“I need you here,” Jaskier mumbled, cuddling up to Geralt, wrapping his arms around his best friend. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, but Geralt... He stayed awake half the night watching Jaskier. His heart beat so fast that it was hard for him to calm down. Everywhere Jaskier's body touched him, he felt little tingles that settled in the pit of his stomach. Oh, Geralt knew that feeling. It was a wonderful feeling, but nothing that he wanted to have when he thought about his best friend. They'd touched a thousand times – nothing had happened. But that night... Everything changed for him, but he didn't want anything to change between them. That was why he should keep his distance to figure out what he was going to do with this, but... When Jaskier calls, Geralt is there for him.

“There you are!” Jaskier's face lights up the moment he sees Geralt. There are already two ales in front of him, and he pushes one towards his friend. “You've made yourself so scarce the last few days, I'm glad that we can finally spend another evening together.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Geralt apologises, sliding onto the barstool and reaching for the ale. “Work as always.” It isn't exactly a lie, because his work can get kind of stressful and take up a lot of time, but not this week. He needed to figure out what to do about his feeling the last couple of days, but by now, he still doesn't have a solution, because he doesn't want to destroy their friendship. For so many years, they've been friends, so why is he all of a sudden feeling like a teenager in love around Jaskier? Because he is in love... in love with his best friend, but he has no idea what Jaskier feels.

“Sounds like you need a new job,” Jaskier muses, but he knows that this will never happen, because Geralt loves what he does for a living, which is something you do not find that often. Jaskier himself is lucky enough that he can earn money with his music. It's not that he's standing on big stages, but he writes music for others, fills the pubs around town and sometimes even teaches music. He loves what he does as well, but it's not really stressful.

“We both know that's not going to happen.” Geralt smiles to himself before he raises tha ale to his lips, eyes still lingering on Jaskier. He can't deny the way Jaskier makes him feel. It's not a couple of butterflies anymore, it's a whole as butterfly-farm that are doing somersaults in his stomach, almost to the point where he wants to throw up. If only he could get that stupid smile out of his face, Geralt would feel a lot better, but he's not able to do so. Whenever he looks at Jaskier, he simply has to smile, because he's happy.

“Yeah, probably not.” Jaskier chuckled, his eyes twinkling. Jaskier proceeds to tell Geralt about his day, which is nothing unusual. Once Jaskier starts talking, it's difficult to shut him up. Usually, Geralt interrupts him at one point, tells him that they need to go dancing or whatever just so that Jaskier stops talking, but not this time. Jaskier talks and talks, until he gets frustrated, because Geralt doesn't interrupt or stop him. “Gods, what is going on with you? You've never ever let me talk this long without complaining. Why don't you shut me up like you usually do?”

There is a note of irritation in his voice. Geralt can't help himself when his eyes drop to Jaskier's lips. His mind has been all over the place during the conversation, his eyes looking everywhere – Jaskier seems to be oblivious to that.

“You want me to shut you up?” Geralt asks, his eyes slowly wandering from his best friend's lips up to meet his eyes.

Jaskier's lips part, but no sound comes out at first. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. Is he imagining things or are things getting hotter in here all of a sudden? There is only one way to find out.

“Yes?!” Though it sounds almost like a question, because he isn't entirely sure, whether he is interpreting Geralt's words correctly, but he wants this, wants to find out where this leads.

It's now or never, and though he won't be able to blame it on the alcohol – which would be a save option to play it down in the end – Geralt leans forward. For days, he's been dreaming about this moment, but now that it's really here, Geralt is a little nervous. His fingers tremble slightly when he cups Jaskier's cheek right before their lips connect. It's everything he thought it would be and so much more. The tingles are there again immediately, starting from his lips, moving like a buzzing sensation through his whole body, settling in his stomach again. When he feels Jaskier's fingers in his own hair, fingernails grazing his scalp until both hands settle in his neck, Geralt is completely lost. Is this some kind of dream or is this really happening. Geralt slides off his barstool to step between Jaskier's thighs, deepening the kiss. Jaskier's legs wrap around him immediately, trapping him in place.

They only part when they both need to draw oxygen into their lungs. Geralt's hands both drop to Jaskier's waist, his thumbs skimming over his sides.

“Fucking finally,” Jaskier says against his best friend's lips, their foreheads resting against each other. “I've been thinking about this since we last met.” It's a confession he didn't plan on making, but now the words are out and he'd happy about it, he even smiles.

“Me too,” Geralt admits, placing another chaste kiss on Jaskier's lips, before he pulls back a little bit so he can look in these brilliant blue eyes. “I just didn't think you'd feel the same way... I mean after all these years, and there was never...” He's searching for the right words, but as per usual, Jaskier finds them.

“That spark. But it's there now. A thousand touches, but the 1001st was the one that changed everything.” Jaskier smiles and lets his hands drop down to Geralt's chest, starts drawing lazy circles with his thumbs. “There have been so many nights where I felt like something was missing, and when I slept by your side, woke up next to you, I knew that you were the thing that's been missing.”

“Jask...” Geralt says with a smile. He's known Jaskier long enough to know just how poetic he can get, but having these words aimed at him directly, is something else entirely. Something that makes his heart beat even faster and harder for the man he's known most of his life.

“I'm not finished,” Jaskier says, his words earning him a chuckle from Geralt. He should have known. “I've told you about my problem so many times, and you've always been there for me, but now I know... I know that you're the key to everything. The key to solving these problem. You always have been.”

“Gods, Jaskier!” Geralt says shaking his head. He has to stop him before Jaskier manages to make Geralt cry with his words, because they touch his heart, his soul. It's everything he'd wanted, and now, he has his best friend and his lover all rolled into one in his arms. And to keep him from talking more and more, Geralt leans in again to kiss Jaskier. A good way to shut his best friend up. A very good way.

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hello-imasalesman · 2 years

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hello!! i just wanted to let you know that i really enjoy your account and your content. i feel like fandoms don't really give appreciation to their writers enough, and in a fandom as dry as bully, i wanna give that encouragement you know??

i've been in the fandom for about mm a little over 2 years now, and back when i first joined, i never imagined someone writing an entire fic about derby/bif and actively posting content about that ship + the preps in general. they've always been my favorite ship and i've always wanted to make content for them but never really had the time to with my schooling and my job lol so i've mainly been a passive enjoyer of what other people produce.

and idk, i just really admire you for creating this content. this is a small fandom, and in the long run, all of this is so minuscule, but right now, it makes me really happy, and i know it makes other people happy as well.

i really love your work, and i hope you don't stop anytime soon (unless you lose enjoyment which is totally valid). thank u for doing what you do, and i look forward to what you continue to create. <3

This is really sweet anon! I really appreciate you reaching out. I am self-admittedly the kind of fandom writer that craves comments and feedback so I really do appreciate it. And the Bully fandom is understandably quiet, skewing towards lots of likes from people w nearly blank blogs.

But the fandom’s always been relatively small and quiet. And the funny thing is, though, I’m not the first to write them. Or, I am the first, but to invoke the ship of Theseus I’m not much the same girl I was in ‘07, churning out 50k+ of derby/bif fic on ff dot net in the first month of my freshman year of highschool. I don’t mean to mention it every time I talk about them! Just, you can imagine if you joined 2 years ago and you’re surprised someone’s writing them, I’m as equally surprised someone’s reading it after all this time, haha. Multiple someones, even! it’s been a pleasant surprise that I got to come back and rewrite characters from my childhood that were very dear to me when I was truly in the shit trenches, and somehow there is still a fandom for a 16 year old game to receive and welcome what is ultimately a nostalgic vanity project. The fandom is so different now but it is, also, kind of the same? There’s a metaphor for life in general somewhere in that lmao. (The same but also generally overall better. For all the wank and drama of fandom today, at least nowadays none of the comments start with, “I don’t like slash, but this was good.” and I don’t have to worry about my writing being deleted just because it’s not het like it was a decade plus ago.)

But, digressions aside, thank you thank you thank you for both reading my writing and taking the time out to send me an ask! I write for myself (I mean, you really gotta, right?) but comments spur me on to actually share it, yknow? Life is just minuscule moments you give meaning to and it really makes my day knowing I can create something that others enjoy. ❤️ I do have a few more bits and pieces about Derby and Bif (and Tad too, if I can coax the words out right.) in the works though I am taking a writing break atm to do some editing. But stick around, once I work through the block I should have some more content. :)

#this really brightened my day! trying to think positively and had a dip recently #and this made me smile even as I sit here at work slogging through my spreadsheets #but anyway. i hope you have a great day anon!#and if you’re in the US enjoy your long weekend!

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xx-katisnothere-xx · 5 months

Text

There needs to be a whole case study on artist TikTok. The amount of hatred and toxicity there is insane. That fucking app single-handedly made it so I never want see another artist or to share my work ever again.

Almost every single time I’ve posted a piece of my art there I’ve gotten so much hate. I’ve gotten comments making fun of my disability, making fun of my skill set, making fun of my current situation as well as doxxing and death threats just because I don’t draw as well as everyone else. Because my artstyle is bad. It’s so infuriating.

I’ve always been super self conscious of my work for as long as I can remember, being on TikTok just made it even worse. I can’t pick up my pencil without this voice in my head telling me I should just quit right now because there are 10,000 artists who are half my age and much much more talented and skilled than me. Pair that with at least 500 AI programs that could whip up something in 10 seconds flat.

I used to feel so proud of myself for seeing something through that I just had to share but now I just can’t take pride in anything I do because it’s not and will never be good enough. My stepparents shitting on my hobby hasn’t helped either. Drawing is seen as a waste of time at their house. It’s not a “real” hobby, it’ll never help me in the real world, but that’s it’s own can of worms I don’t wanna open right now. It feels like the whole world is telling me to quit.

It really sucks too because I’ve been at it for quite a while. I found a unique style I really enjoyed. A style that combined everything I loved as a child. I worked really hard to get to where I was but I just can’t take pride in my style anymore. According to the comments it’s too childish and cringey. It’s far too late to try and change it because I don’t actually know how to draw anything. I never went to an proper art class so I never got to have any real art experience. I can’t draw hands, proper anatomy, realism, still life, anything. I feel like it’s far too late for me to learn how to actually draw anything nowadays. The yt tutorials don’t help. Maybe it’s the AutiHD I don’t know. I just don’t learn that way. All I know is that it’s too late for me. I’m 21. I should’ve had this shit figured out years ago. I’m too old to be a beginner artist.

So I guess that’s it… my career ended before it even started. I had a …run. I can’t say for sure if I had fun or not but it certainly has been a ride.

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servin-up-surveys · 9 months

Text

survey #178

What was the last big change through which you went? Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? The very obvious answer is how much my legs have improved. Walking is usually more uncomfortable than fucking agony nowadays, and after being so used to the extreme weakness in my legs, I've come leaps and bounds. Change can still stress me out, but I've definitely gotten friendlier towards it.

What is something fun you have done within the past week? I watched Girt finish Nier; it's his all-time favorite game so I loved watching him be all enthusiastic about it and share interesting stuff. I'd actually already seen him play it once, MANY years ago, but I completely didn't remember the plot (he finished the game when I was so done and VERY much barely conscious lol), and this time he played the "Replicant" remake, so the quality of everything was improved. I thought it was great, its soundtrack is especially astounding.

Have you ever read any self-help books? Nah, I'm not nearly interested enough in the genre to get past a couple pages.

Do you thank the bus driver? Yes, you should thank any person that serves the public; bus drivers, waiters, everything. That's just common sense to me, like it's so rude to not show appreciation for someone serving YOUR needs. "But it's their job to ____," I don't give a fuck say thank you you ungrateful shit.

Are you scared of needles? Only very long needles that penetrate very deeply.

Do you know anyone who is/was a drug addict? Yes.

Do you tend to cave into peer pressure? No.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yes.

Who was the last person you went to the movies with? Girt. I'm TRYING to talk him into seeing Barbie now lmfao, I don't think it's happening though. It kinda surprised me how unwilling he is, and I do kiiiinda worry he's fallen into the "it shits on men too hard" crowd, but I don't know.

Do you ever fear falling asleep? Well yes, for some reason no doctor has been able to confidently figure out, I have severe nightmares/terrors nearly any time I fall asleep. This has been going on for years though so by THIS point it's not so much fear, but annoyance.

What do you think is the youngest age someone should lose their virginity? I'd personally be very nervous if I knew my kid was having sex before 16, but I'm completely aware that it's not very realistic; teens developing a genuine libido is gonna happen and they're gonna do what teens do. I feel like this would, for the most part, vary with the person and their level of maturity and self-discipline, but what do I know.

Do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage? That's a personal choice that isn't mine to make for anyone but me, HOWEVER I do see how waiting until you're legally bound to see how sexually compatible you are may not be a great idea. That's very important to some people so you should know this before you get married, in my own personal opinion.

What is your sexual orientation? Pansexual.

What is something you have acquired with age? TOLERANCE, open-mindedness, the ability to see what's right and wrong is almost never black and white and those also aren't the same thing for every single person, and that's okay. I've definitely learned to see that the world isn't experienced only through my own eyes and my moral compass.

Do you enjoy history? I really don't, I do believe it's important to know history to be aware of what's been tried and failed + why, but I'm just not interested, man. I also was so bad at dates and names and I just found it all boring.

Have you ever changed religions? Haha three times I guess; OG was Roman Catholic just because I was raised that way from birth, but it quickly turned to Christianity, in my earlier 20s I felt the most connection to Neo-Paganism, now I'm an agnostic/atheist of sorts. Got very high doubts that's ever changing.

Have you ever lied about your gender? Nah.

Have you ever designed your own Facebook timeline cover? I've EDITED pictures for that purpose, but I've never like, made some sort of collage or anything for this purpose.

What is one site that closed down that you wish would come back? Give me back my kabam.com Dragons of Atlantis game please I want it back the app is not the same

Are you a fan of the Saw movies? I've never really watched them, honestly, and I'm not very interested just because of the SHEER level of "you don't want to picture this" the traps are. It's not the gore that gets me, I just don't want to imagine going through that stuff; physically seeing it in movie form is anxiety-inducing.

Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? Only my half-siblings; I have none of their ages memorized. It's not that I care less because they're "just half," instead it's that they're not regulars in my life, like I see them once every good few years for a few days at most.

Who last talked about kissing you? Girt, I'm sure.

Did you speak to your father today? No, I haven't for a while. And I'm sure I won't until my nephew's birthday party on the 19th.

Would you ever get gauged ears? The first holes in my earlobes are; they're only 4mm and I don't plan on going any larger because one ear in particular will almost certainly tear if I push it any further.

Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? That's MY preference, like I definitely think it's wise to see how you exist in the same home before you tie the knot.

Did you ever give a hickey to the last person you kissed or you guys didn’t go that far? Yes.

List five of your favorite YouTubers. Markiplier (I don't really watch his content anymore but he as a person I still adore), GameGrumps, Rhett & Link (I haven't watched their stuff in many years now, but like Mark, I still adore them as individuals), John Wolfe, and Snake Discovery are all up there, but I definitely love more than five.

What pet names do you use with your significant other? All the usual ones I can think of, some far more than others.

Who is your best online friend? Mazzy and Tez aren't just my best online friends, they're my closest friends out of anyone if you're not counting my boyfriend and mother.

Who knows more about you: online friends or offline? HAHAHAHA ONLINE, I have ALWAYS been WAY more open about myself online, especially in terms of hobbies and interests and artistic stuff I do.

What’s something you find unconventionally romantic? Someone teaching you about something they're passionate about. Like how sweet is it that they wanna share that joy with you. YES you can overdo this and be overbearing about it, but in willing doses, I think this is very cute to share your passions.

List 3-10 things in nature you find amazing. Sentient existence itself (hell, even non-aware organisms are fucking fascinating), outer space, evolution, life and death and how it goes back into life in an everlasting cycle, mountains and volcanoes, canyons where you can see time right in front of your face in the layers of rock, fossils, really clear water, love and affection being exhibited beyond just the human species, and the deep ocean. I could go on for a LONG time, nature is endlessly fascinating.

What is one song that you've been listening to on repeat lately? "Platz Eins" by Lindemann is one.

Do you enjoy creative writing? Yes, very much.

Do you sleep with just a sheet in summer when it's hot? No, I change out blankets. Thicker comforter in the cold months, a thin blanket when it's hot.

Do you get bursts of creative energy or is it more consistent? I feel like I definitely have this baseline creativity going on, like I get especially artistic ideas so regularly (I have ongoing lists of a variety of art-based projects I wanna get to some day), however I absolutely do have bursts of increased creative drive. I fucking love those.

Have you ever been chased by a dog? Not by one that had any intention of hurting me; just pets chasing while playing.

Is your voice high, low, or somewhere in the middle? It's definitely lower than your average woman's.

What's the next friend or family birthday coming up? Will you buy them a present? Mom's is the 5th. And no, I have literally no source of income so I physically can't even buy her a candy bar or some shit, and it's fucking embarrassing and honestly agonizing to be That Person who goes into her bday empty-handed. I could write or draw something, but I haven't been able to think of what yet...

What was the last book you read? I'm currently reading Wings of Fire: Darkness of Dragons by Tui T. Sutherland. I've gotten into the habit of reading before bed and I'm enjoying it.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Nothing.

Is there a gang problem in your area? Not in my very specific area, but this city absolutely does, no one likes this place.

Do you make your Starbucks order more complicated if it isn't busy? I don't even go to Starbucks.

Would you date an already attached person? Hell no. In MY romantic relationships, you're picking me or them, and there's no in-between.

When you marry, will you wear white? I doubt it, I think I'm probably gonna wear black. But white is still possible.

Is there anything significant happening this month? Mom's and Ryder's birthdays, and I know Ryder will have a party. This weekend I'm going to Girt's sister's new place for the first time; I know that's not really "significant," but dude, anything that breaks my daily routine is worthwhile to mention in my world lol.

What are your grandfathers’ names? I only remember my mom's dad's name, which was William.

Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Living to 27 and not seeing a single snake, at least here, would be extremely odd. Yeah, I've seen plenty, I have a pet snake in my own house.

Do you know anyone that has been held hostage before? Oh yikes, not that I know of.

Can you ever hear dogs barking from your house? Does it annoy you? Yes, and admittedly yeah, it does. Our next-door neighbor particularly has a big dog named Kira, and she is CONSTANTLY barking, and she's not an indoor dog (she's behind a proper fence, calm down), so you certainly hear her. It doesn't annoy me to the point I'm gonna go bitch about it, but dogs barking is a noise I just do not like.

What's your main reason for booking taxis? I've never been in a legit taxi; they're not really a thing around here. I've taken an Uber with my mother literally once in my entire life, because of car problems.

When was the last time you saw your partner (or your best friend)? He was here yesterday; we finished Silent Hill 2 finally and that was fun, I was glad he liked it. It was nice, the last visit we played his favorite game of all time, and this time we closed off mine.

How did you sleep last night? Surprisingly very good.

Do you like candy corn? No, it's disgusting to me.

Are you bored right now? Yes; my anhedonia has been VERY severe the past few weeks. We're in the process of adjusting meds because I'm pretty sure I've reached the point of developing an immunity to something. It's happened with my psych meds many times before, so I expected it to happen again.

Do your grandparents speak English as a first language? Yeah, to my knowledge they all only spoke English.

Do you remember to turn lights off in the rooms you're not actively using? Yes, when you live in a family that actually has to worry about their bills you learn this shit quick lmfao.

Do you have many snacks in your house right now? No, Mom and I avoid that because we're very "out of sight, out of mind" with food, and if unhealthy shit is here, we're gonna eat it. It's just healthier for us to not have stuff available to us.

Do you keep alcohol in your house? Not regularly, no. I uh, think. Maybe Mom has alcohol somewhere, but I doubt it; both of us only drink usually for holidays, and never a lot.

Did you have a bunk bed when you were a kid? Yes, for me and my younger sister. I started off in the top bunk, but in my pre-teen years before Ashley moved out and I got her room, I preferred the bottom bunk.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions #questionnaire

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calpalirwin · 3 years

Text

Tranquil Waters

Summary: Bucky finds peace at the aquarium.

A/N: A gift for @jessalyn-jpeg, that was also beta read by her.

Word Count: 1.9k

And away, and away we go!

Even with a plain, battered ball cap covering up hair that brushed along the tops of his shoulders, as if he was hoping it would somehow make him inconspicuous, you took notice of him. After all, how many men came alone to an aquarium? How many still could be transfixed by the shark exhibit for hours, sitting on a bench looking up at the tunnel, or leaned against the railing as he peered into the lagoon below? And how many of those men would return day after day, no matter how long he had watched the sharks the day before?

“You know we have a membership,” you told him on his eighth consecutive visit. “Probably cheaper at this point.”

He didn’t say a word, just tilted his head slightly to the side in confusion.

“I mean, if you’re here every day. Might as well. Save yourself a few bucks.”

“Oh,” he said, clearly startled that anyone had picked up on his habit. “Uh…”

“It’s a hundred for the year. Unlimited visits. Come as little as five times a year, and it pays for itself. Come more often than that, and it’s a steal.”

“Is there a payment plan option? I’m uh… it’s weird to explain. I have the money. It’s just a…”

“Budget thing?” you guessed. “Totally get it. Yeah, we have payment options. I can have today’s ticket count towards the pass if you like. Then the bill is monthly, but you can pay it off sooner if you like.”

“Uh, yeah, that’d be great,” he said, giving you a small smile, and laying a twenty dollar bill down.

You pulled open the little drawer that held the passes, selecting one that specifically had sharks on it for him, before scanning it into working order. “Here you are,” you said, handing it over along with his receipt.

“Thanks,” he nodded, turning the card over his hand, the smile still rooted in place. “Sharks, cool. Thanks again…” his eyes flickered down to read your name tag, “Y/N.”

“Enjoy your visit.”

It came as no surprise to you that, after he nodded politely at you again, he headed straight to the shark exhibit. It also came as no surprise to you that he was still there when you made your rounds to clear the aquarium of visitors for the night.

“Sir, we’re closing in ten minutes. So if you wouldn’t mind making your way towards the exit.”

“Oh, is it that time already?” he asked, rising slowly from the bench. You took notice as he stretched out his right arm, but didn’t feel the need to do so with his left.

“Unfortunate, I know. See you tomorrow, sir.”

“Bucky,” he said.

“I’m sorry?”

“My name. It’s Bucky.”

“See you tomorrow, Bucky.”

“See ya tomorrow, Y/N.”

~~~

Four more days of visits, each started with Bucky handing you a twenty dollar bill to put towards his pass, and ending with the two of you bidding each other farewell until the morning.

On the fifth day, out of habit, he walked up to your window, the twenty dollar bill already in hand. “Oh, you’re all paid off, Bucky.”

“Oh… Right… Sorry, force of habit.” His cheeks flushed a soft color of pink. “See you later I guess.”

“Send the sharks my love.”

“Will do.”

As you watched him walk off, you caught sight of the stack of flyers beside you. “Wait!” you called out to him, grabbing one of the flyers.

“Hmm?” he asked, coming back to your window.

“Here,” you said, sliding him the flyer. “We’re hosting a lecture on shark migrating habits.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Is it soon? I haven’t seen anything put up about it.”

“No, it’s happening next month. We just got the flyers this morning. Figured you’d want to know though.”

“Well, thanks for the heads up.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Bucky turned to go visit the sharks, but at the last second he turned back around, a shy look on his face. “You wouldn’t happen to be going to this would you?”

“I am, yeah. I got lucky in that they scheduled it after aquarium hours.”

“Cool… Would you maybe want to go together?”

“As a date?” you asked suggestively.

“Or as two people who share an appreciation for sharks? Whichever reason gets you to say yes.”

You gave a small laugh. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

~~~

Even though you’d seen Bucky daily for nearly two months, you still felt shy flutters in your stomach as you raced to change out of your work polo and khakis, and into something that felt more “first date” appropriate.

When you got back to the aquarium, you spotted Bucky outside waiting, sporting a long-sleeved red henley shirt, and surprisingly no baseball cap. “Hey, Bucky,” you greeted, walking up to him.

“Hey,” he said softly, a hand digging into the pocket of his jeans. “I was going to bring you flowers, but I thought that’d be awkward for you to carry around all night. So, I hope this is an okay replacement.” He took his hand out of his pocket, unfurling his hand to reveal a shark pin resting in his palm, no doubt something he picked out in the gift shop.

“It’s perfect,” you laughed, stretching up on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek, feeling the warmth that flooded his face. “Thank you.”

“Course,” he mumbled, trying to undo the pin with only his right hand. But undoing the pin without using his left hand proved to be difficult.

“Um, it might be easier without the gloves?” you suggested. “Or maybe if you used both hands?”

“Oh, to hell with it,” Bucky grumbled, taking the fingers of his left glove into his mouth, tugging it off to reveal a metal hand. Swiftly, he also took off his right glove, and got the pin undone.

“Wh-what happened?” you questioned as he attached the pin to your blouse, paying special care not to knick you with it.

“War accident,” he answered shortly, quickly putting his gloves back on.

“I’m sorry,” was all you could think to say.

“It was years ago,” he offered as a way of explanation, before jerking his chin in the direction of the aquarium doors. “Shall we?”

You linked your arm through his right arm when he offered it to you, walking into the aquarium and following the small crowd to the theater where the lecture was being held.

Quietly, you and Bucky sat side by side, his hand resting on your thigh as you both listened to the lecture. It was easy to tell when the lecturer said something that Bucky found particularly interesting because his fingers would squeeze into your leg. And anytime you stole a glance, his eyes were shining brightly, a soft smile on his lips. And anytime he caught you staring at him, he’d give you a small wink.

“The aquarium is so different after hours,” Bucky commented, making conversation as you walked out, hand-in-hand after the lecture. “More peaceful somehow.”

“Is that why you like the shark exhibit? It’s usually our quietest area. Certainly less crowded.”

“Nah, I like sharks because they’re misunderstood. Everyone thinks they’re killers. But, they’re just doing what they need to do to survive.”

“Something you can relate to?”

“More than I’d like to, that’s for sure.”

You looked around at all the guests flocking for the exits, an idea forming in your head. “You wanna see something really cool?”

“What’s this really cool thing?” he asked as he let you pull him away from the crowd of people and deeper into the aquarium. His excitement however died down significantly when you pulled him into the security office. “This was the really cool thing?” he asked skeptically.

“Shh,” you said, fixing your focus on the cameras, watching the aquarium empty. “Just wait.”

With a sigh, Bucky watched the monitors with you.

“Annnnd, tada!” you announced as there was a loud sound of the lights shutting off in the building with the exclusion of the security room.

“We’re alone in the aquarium?” he questioned with the same note of skepticism as earlier.

You grinned up at him, nodding. “We’re alone in the aquarium.”

“Can’t we get in trouble for trespassing?”

You pulled your work badge out of your purse, along with a set of keys. “Nope!”

Bucky gave a soft chuckle. “You’re a little troublemaker, aren’t you?”

“You wanna go see the sharks or not?”

“Lead the way.”

~~~

“So,” you started, your voice quiet as you both leaned against the railing, watching the sharks swim in the lagoon below. “Is you liking sharks because you can relate to being misunderstood related to your hand at all?”

“A little. And it’s not my hand. It’s my entire arm.”

“Your entire arm?!” you screeched, turning sideways to look at him fully.

He sighed, turning towards you. He pushed the sleeve of his shirt up to his elbow, and pulled at the collar of his shirt to show you how the metal went all the way from fingertips to shoulder. “Yup.”

“Bucky,” you said to yourself. “As in?”

“As in the former Winter Soldier. Yup. Or as in James Buchanan Barnes, but people nowadays tend to not remember that part.”

“Holy shit… Wait. So you’re a fuckin’ Avenger, and you tell me that you spend your free time coming to watch sharks all day?”

“Well, sharks were originally the reason. Now, they’re just an additional perk.”

“I’m not following…”

“Well, I like sharks. Always have even before I could relate to them. But then I got a crush on one of the workers. And as much as I like to think I’m still here for the sharks, I’m also here for her.”

“Oh, you mean me?!”

“I mean I did ask you out on a date.”

“So you admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“That this is a date.”

“What else would you call it?”

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe two people who share an appreciation for sharks?” you teased.

Bucky laughed. “Alright. In my defense, I said that to make you not feel bad if you told me no.”

“What made you think I was gonna say no?”

“I’m me. The 100 year old with an extremely complicated past.”

“Mmm, then maybe I should let you in on a secret.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that Miss Troublemaker?”

“I have a soft spot for the misunderstood.”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Saying things like that are gonna make me want to kiss you.”

“Saying things like what? Things that suggest I’m just as interested in you as you are in me?”

“Yes.”

“And what if that’s what I wanted? For you to kiss me?”

“Then I’d have to do this.” He stepped forward, his hands gently cradling your face as his head ducked down. You stretched upwards on the tips of your toes, meeting his lips halfway. Underlying the softness of the kiss was a strength you wanted more of. Somehow sensing that want, Bucky deepened the kiss, one hand moving to cup the back of your neck, the other dropping down to rest on the small of your back, pulling you in closer to him.

“That was one hell of a first date kiss,” you gasped when you broke apart, each of you breathless.

“You’re one hell of a girl,” he said, nudging your nose with his and drawing you back in for another kiss.

Tag List

@cxddlyash @stanofalotofthings @philthepegacorn @youngblood199456 @binxiboo @creator-appreciator @frontmanash @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @jessalyn-jpeg @lilyoflower @mychemicalimagines @rougese7en @milea

#tranquil waters #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #avengers #calpal irwin

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soldierswar · 3 years

Text

Kobik - Chapter I

Bucky x Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

Plot: You and Bucky's relationship is anything but ordinary. Something that you've been used to since day one. But one day when Bucky brings home an unexpected little guest with superpowers, you reluctantly find yourself thrusted into something close to parenthood much sooner than you had ever expected to be.

Notes: I've been obsessed with Kobik and Bucky's father/daughter relationship with her since I read the Thunderbolts comics. Enjoy protective dad!Bucky.

*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

“I’ve got to change that ring tone,” was your first thought after your atrociously loud phone woke you up in the middle of your mid-day nap. But you always felt the need to keep it off silent when Bucky was away from you for emergency use.

You groggily propped yourself up and picked up the phone.

“Everything okay?”

“Let me guess. You just woke up?”

There were no signs of real distress in his voice. So why the hell was he calling instead of texting?

“Mmmmm,” you groaned.

You being an investigative journalist had just finished working on an important writing piece that took over a month and a half to write. A piece that involved multiple trips across the ocean for in-person research. So you were pretty exhausted nowadays.

“What’s up?” you asked mid-yawn.

“Y/N…I need you to meet me somewhere as soon as possible. At…our spot.”

Now you began to get worried.

You and Bucky had a special secluded spot in a nearby building that had been abandoned halfway through its being built years ago. It was safe to assume that it was just another private abandoned project after the blip that was never followed up on. So you and Bucky deemed it your secret place to go to if you needed to talk about something urgent where nobody could hear or see you.

“Are you in some kind of trouble? Do we need a lawy—”

“No, Y/N. It doesn’t have anything to do about me…for the most part.”

“For the most part?”

You could suddenly hear Sam’s voice echoing in the background again.

“How worried do I need to be, Barnes?”

He hesitated.

Those pauses always made you incredibly anxious, and he knew that.

“Are you safe? Are we safe?”

Another pause as he swallowed nervously.

“James?”

“I wouldn’t have called for you to come if I didn’t think that we’d be safe.”

You shook your head. And although he couldn’t see it, he knew you enough to know that that was exactly what you were doing.

“You trust me?”

“Would I have married you if I didn’t?” you sighed lightheartedly.

“I can be there in 30, okay?”

And before you could hang up he said those three words that almost never faltered in making you smile, even in the worst of time.

“I love you.”

…

Despite the fact that he said that there was nothing really to be truly worried about, you couldn’t help but feel a pulsing anxiety surge through your body. In the years that you had been together, you never really had to use your spot for any type of unexpected emergency.

You stumbled your way to the building being careful to not fall over the chunks of broken concrete protruding from the dirt before making your way to the door that was almost completely broken off minus two feet of it from the bottom still hinged to the door frame.

“Hey,” said a familiar voice.

You turned around to see your husband’s beautiful face. You hadn’t seen Bucky in almost a week, so when he wrapped you in his arms you had no choice but to feel nothing but comfort and warmth. But after a two-second tender moment, you snapped out of it.

“James,” you said.

“What is this about? Why am I here?”

Before he could say anything, you could hear Sam’s voice in another area of the house. It sounded almost as though he were giving orders to someone. Which was then followed by the echoes of a little childlike voice…

You shook your head and reasoned that you were either hearing things, or things were about to get really weird.

“Bucky,” you said raising your voice and crossing your arms.

“How bad can it be?”

Suddenly the only sound in the house was the sound of little footsteps sprinting towards you followed by Sam’s voice.

“Kobi—”

And right before your eyes, there was a little girl. A little girl that couldn’t have been older than 4 or 5 years old. She was incredibly pale and had blonde – No, white hair in two high pigtails. But the strangest thing about her was her inhumanly glowing blue eyes.

“Everything okay Buckaroo?” she asked seeming concerned about him.

“Shit,” Sam said under his breath as Bucky gave him a death stare.

“Kobik,” Bucky scolded lightly, crossing his arms.

“I told you not to come out until I said –”

“I know,” she said as her little face and shoulders fell.

“But someone seemed mad at you. Are you okay?”

She turned her gaze over to you and gave you a once-over as if she were scanning you to see if you were a stranger and potential threat to your own husband.

Sam finally joined you guys looking somewhat embarrassed.

“Sorry, I couldn’t stop her.”

Now you were staring at Sam giving him the “What the hell is going on?” look.

He didn’t seem like he wanted to be the one to answer.

Great, now you had two men who didn’t want to answer any questions about the strangest looking child that you had ever seen.

“Kobik,” Bucky said.

“This is my wife, Y/N.”

Her intense stare immediately softened, which eventually evolved into a big smile, and waved at you.

“Hi!”

You were awestruck, and couldn’t even answer. You just turned your stunned gaze away from her and back on to Bucky.

“Bucky…” you said under your breath.

“I’m gonna ask you again. Why am I here?”

…

Bucky took you outside next to a pile of large concrete rocks to sit on which you were grateful for because you were feeling pretty dizzy, and even felt a little sick.

Who was she? Did he have a kid that he decided to never tell you about? Did he feel the need to take her for some reason? Those were all logical thoughts that any rational human could think up for this type of situation. Right? And also, why did the poor thing look like…the way that she did?

But when you finally did get Bucky to talk, everything came out of his mouth exceeded anything that you could ever imagine. In fact, for a moment of time if felt as though you were watching Bucky say a bunch of nonsensical sentences pre-exploding brain aneurism.

But the longer he continued to speak, you realized that he was serious. This wasn’t some type of psychiatric meltdown or a sick joke.

You shook your head as he reached over to put a comforting hand on your upper arm.

“I know it sounds crazy, Y/N but—”

“Crazy? No,” you shuddered, pulling away.

“Crazy would be telling me that, I don’t know, you had some kind of accident child with someone during our marriage and you’re just bringing her over to tell me for the first time.”

He opened his mouth to say something but you shoved your index finger in his face to continue.

“Crazy would be telling me that you found a literal child with superpowers and you just decided to take her to see what she’ll do. But you’re meaning to tell me that it’s not even a human?”

“Y/N—”

“You’re meaning to tell me,” you said pointing to the door.

“That I’m supposed to believe that some extremely powerful force of ‘cosmic energy’ formed itself into a little girl, and you decided to make the impulsive decision of just taking it with you?”

“It’s not like that, Y/N,” he replied.

“I’ve known about her for a little over a year now.”

You couldn’t lie, that shocked you a little bit.

“A year?”

“Listen,” he said.

“A year and a half ago were investigating a situation in Norway. One thing led to another and we ended up in an underground science lab with two scientists observing some type of glowing anomaly in the shape of a cube that they were carefully monitoring and studying. Sam and I made it our responsibility to keep this hidden and make sure it stays hidden.”

“So what does this have to do with—”

He stopped you from finishing your sentence.

“Two months later they call us to fly over and it seems that overnight this glowing anomaly somehow formed itself into this little girl that calls herself Kobik.”

If you didn’t trust him as much as you did, you would be calling bullshit at this point. You didn’t even know that these kinds of things were humanly possible. Granted, you also didn’t think it humanly possible for a bunch of aliens to pretty much destroy New York, or for another batch of aliens to come down and somehow make half of the earth’s—No, the universe’s population disappear. So you continued to listen.

“A few days ago we get a notice that the lab’s been breached, and by the time we got there, the two scientists are dead. When we get there to check out the scene we find that the five grown men that broke in were also dead. And a minute later we found Kobik shaking all alone in a corner.”

Your heart broke for her for a split second. But then you let his words sink in before realizing...

“Wait,” you said

“You said the intruders were dead.”

He nodded.

“Who killed…”

He knew that you knew that answer.

“She had to defend herself,” he shrugged.

“And how did she do that, Bucky? She’s tiny.”

And that’s when you realized that there was even more to the story.

“Once she took form, they made it their focus to study the extent of her powers along with her behaviors. She talks, plays, and overall acts like a child of the age that she took form in…But in the wrong hands she could be used and abused into being a powerful weapon.”

“So why did you take it?” You asked.

“It obviously can defend itself.”

He didn’t seem thrilled about you talking about it like it was an inanimate object.

“We don’t know if it was a fluke or not. She may not know how to properly defend herself and won’t get so lucky the next time. Next thing you know she could end up in the wrong hands. And she was scared, Y/N. I…We couldn’t just leave her.”

You stressfully ran your fingers against your scalp through your hair.

“So what now?” you asked.

“She’s going to just stay here? In this abandoned half build house?”

“No.”

“…So is Sam going to keep her somewhere?”

The longer he stared at you the dizzier you started getting, understanding what he was actually asking.

“Y/N,” he said softly.

“I’m the only one she trusts.”

His last words fell into the background as you suddenly leaned over and threw up the entirety of your lunch…maybe even breakfast.

He held your hair back until you finally stopped.

“Bucky, you’re not saying,” you croaked while wiping your mouth.

“Tell me you’re not saying that you want to take her in.”

“Y/N, she’s scared. And I’m the only one she trusts to be around.”

You shot up and involuntarily started shaking your head.

No. This was not happening. He was not bringing a lethal science experiment into our house.

The world began to spin again as you probably got up too quickly, but you were good at playing it off. Why couldn’t he just be normal and bring an abandoned puppy home or something?

Regardless, there was no way that this could happen. There was no way that you could let this happen. You didn’t know who was going to invade your house to try to come to collect it. Much worse, you didn’t know how dangerous this thing was. What it could do to either of you when you least expected. What if it…she got startled in the middle of the night and activated some type of lasers in her eyes and cut you in half?

So you said what you needed to say.

“No.”

“Y/N,” he replied sympathetically.

“I know that this may be a lot so suddenly but—”

“No!” you said again putting your foot down.

“We can’t…Not right now. It’s not a good time”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Damn it.

“This isn’t some abandoned puppy that you found across the road, James! You brought home this radioactive weapon that people, might I add, bad people are looking for. And they’re not even the ones that I’m scared of!”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“After all that just came out of your mouth in the past 15 minutes, you really just had the nerve to tell me that I’m the one that’s not making any sense?” you exclaimed.

“What doesn’t make any sense is that your excuse is that this isn’t the right time. What do you mean by it’s not the right time, Y/N?”

“We…I have a lot of serious shit going on right now, okay?”

“I thought you were taking time off of work,” he pointed out.

“I am, okay? It’s just…”

You paused, you didn’t know what to say or even how to say it.

“Is there something that I need to know? What does timing have to do with anything?”

“I…well…” you stuttered.

“Spit it out, Y/N.”

You sighed in defeat. You didn’t have a choice now.

“Because damnit, Bucky!” you shouted, startling yourself by how loud you were. But there was no stopping now.

“I’m pregnant.”

175 notes · View notes

scriptaed · 3 years

Text

his side, her side finale | 00:00

genre: angst/fluff/implied smut;

pairing: reader x jungkook;

length: 4.6k;

synopsis: a collective snapshots in time shared between two, whose fates were undeniably intertwined and futures would never come to be.

No matter how infinite the pages could write itself, in the way that he catches her stealing glances from across the room or the scalding spark imprinted on her hand by the touch of his own, there really are only three versions to every story: his side, her side, and the truth’s side; and in your unsolicited albeit self-justified defense, the truth is, what was once seemingly perpetual is now merely trivial. The imagery that once had you kicking and screaming into your sheets at night, the fleeting moments that were shared by both but valued by one, and the inevitably incessant burden of jealousy brought upon by a fervent want that could never be had could only have been falsified by a break—spatially, temporally, and heartfully. The mind can only tug so much at one’s strings; and yet, to be bent, only time could prove possible.

...and that time is exactly what is needed by all.

her side;

“Are you joining us for dinner tonight, Y/N?”

“Huh? What?” your ears perk at the sound of your friend’s call.

“Oh, there she goes again,” your other friend interjects with the roll of her eyes. You almost collapse when she swings a hand over your shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want to get your ears checked?”

“No, but I might have to get my eyes checked,” you joke, despite pulling in all the performance points you could win with a disdainful scan up and down her less than professional attire. Thankfully, your act is gleefully extended by her cheesy gawk of an expression. Putting up a merciful pair of hands in the air, you laugh, “hey, in all seriousness, it’s not my fault you guys keep drooling over boys.”

“Uhuh, so you’re trying to tell us that boy talk is what’s putting you to sleep?” your friend’s accomplice crosses her arms, raising an accusatory pair of brows.

“Yeah,” you say much too seriously so you throw in an airy laugh, “I mean, there’s more to life than boys, y’know?”

“Right, like…?”

“Like…” your voice trails off because, for some reason, your mind goes blank as you attempt to recall your lifestyle from your previous hometown. “Like… hanging out with friends! With you guys!”

“Gah! You’re only able to say that because you have dozens of boys chasing you around the office. Us, on the other hand, time just… it just keeps ticking…” the two of them sigh in synchronization and you feel the heat of her arms retract as she shakes the hand of her one and only sympathizer.

“Psh,” you can’t help but grin throughout the frown elicited by their vivacious performance, “you guys have plenty of time. Just enjoy life for now and I’m sure you’ll find someone along the way.”

“Wait, but seriously,” her voice suddenly rises from her previously sullen state, as does her head on her friend’s shoulder. She looks you dead in the eye, and, honestly, you almost feel as though your privacy had just been invaded. “You really haven’t ever liked anyone before?”

“Uh…” you scatter through the disarrayed files that were your buried memories, eyes squinting at the sun that peeks through the clearing sky after a day full of rainfall. “Elementary and middle school don’t really count… too busy studying in high school… college was full of fuck boys I couldn’t care less for… and at work…”

The more that you hear yourself ramble, the more the reality of your lonesome future settles into the already burdened shoulders of yours.

“At work? You mean here? Or do you mean your last job?”

“Well,” you frown, trying to recall every male colleague that had piqued even the tiniest of interest in you; and as the two of your friends lean in, you start to lean back, despite the charging light bulb that flickers from the unlocked recollection of two years ago. “There was a guy who liked me and told everyone at work that he liked me, which I thought was really weird… nice guy, kind of a nerd, but I didn’t like him that way. Who else? Uh, hm—”

—bzzz.

The vibration against your back pocket pulls the plug from your train of thought.

“Aw man,” you hear your friends curse in the background, “just when we were finally getting her to spill something.”

The name on your screen has your heart skipping with delight.

Yezi [5:20 PM] Hey, I know you’re gonna forget, so you before you do, we’re having dinner together tonight :)

“It’s okay,” your friend pats the back of the other, “there’ll be some cute enough boys for her at tonight’s barbeque, I’m sure.”

“Ah shit,” you curse under your breath, hastily typing a response before peering up at your friends like a deer caught in the headlights, “actually, guys, turns out I already made plans with my friend from home. I’m sooo sorry.”

“Oh, really?” the two of them gasp. “Isn’t that a two hour train ride from here?”

“Yeah, so I really got to go now,” your phone tumbles into your bag as you begin to widen your strides like a woman on a mission.

They shake their heads in unison, “no, no, it’s okay!”

“I’m seriously so sorry guys,” you say as you pant, the distance between you and your friends widening by the second and forcing you to whirl around as you pace backwards. “I’ll make it up to you next time and do whatever you guys want, okay?”

“Really? Anything?”

“Yeah,” your hands draw a wide, inclusive circle into the air, “anything.”

“Even a blind date?”

“You know what? Why the hell not?” you chime, whirling back around with your back on them and a smile hidden away. Skipping off into the opposite direction toward the train station, you exclaim nonchalantly, “new year, new me!”

Lately, either through a stroke of luck or a reset of a life in a new town, there’s been something spectacularly whimsical about tonight’s air; and when a zephyr passes by, lifting you to the tip of your toes to an invincible high and relaying the confuzzled whispers of your friends—

“—wait, it’s not a new year, it’s already April—”

—you finally acquire a two year long-sought sensation: golden.

“I can’t believe you almost forgot about our plans!”

“Hey, I had a reminder set on my phone just ten minutes after your reminder” you quip with pursed lips, “and I still made it on time, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” Yezi prims with a stern look plastered across her face, gesturing, “with your hair and clothes damp in rain and your face smiling like a wagging, clueless beagle.”

“Well… beagles are cute, so I’ll take that as a compliment?”

She frowns, ignoring your remark, “did you not check the weather forecast?”

“I did.”

“So why didn’t you bring an umbrella?”

“I forgot.”

“Ugh, you forget everything these days,” she plants a palm to her forehead before returning to her plate, “well, I’m glad that at least you’re so carefree nowadays. You’ve finally settled into your new workplace, huh? You look so happy now.”

“You talk—” it’s difficult to speak with food being stuffed into your mouth “—as if I lost a loved one.”

“Well,” she grits her teeth, as if biting her tongue, and proceeds to slice the slab of steak, “I wouldn’t say that’s too farfetched.”

Frowning, your words come out muffled through puffed cheeks, “whaddya mean by dat?”

“You can’t tell me you forgot about what happened last time you were in town.”

“Uh…?” you furrow your brows, tracing into a forgotten yet familiar field you had long neglected for your own wellbeing. Last time you were in town, last time you were working here, last time you went out on a company party, last time you walked through this town’s treacherously embracing frosty breeze, last time you were dining here, last time you got wasted, not just here but anywhere, last time you shed tears… all the last times of this town shared only one similarity, a similarity you had subconsciously left behind at some point in your transition between the past and the now.

“Do I really have to say it myself?” she leans in, concerned. “I don’t want you bawling your eyes out again…”

Did she possibly mean… him?

“Jeon Jungkook,” she blurts, “there! I said it!”

Her utensils clatter onto her plate as she tosses her hands in the air in mercy, almost as if bracing herself for the storm after the calm, observing you intently but warily; that supposed storm, however and ever so fortunately, never arrives.

“Oh,” you utter, words slipping from your lips like sand through a palm, “I’m not crying.”

“You’re not crying,” she confirms, astonished.

“It doesn’t… hurt anymore?” you almost ask yourself.

“It doesn’t?”

“It doesn’t,” you utter, shaking your head. Just as she’s caught off guard, you lurch across the table to pinch her cheeks, “but that doesn’t mean I appreciate you bringing him up during a perfectly lovely night!”

“Sho—” she furrows her brows in combination to her squished cheeks “—he doesh make you shad shtill?”

“Well, he doesn’t make me elated,” you finally release her from your wrath, returning to stare downward at your food, “but I guess it makes me reflect fondly on the past. It’s kind of like a scar. I know how much it once hurt but I can’t feel it to the same magnitude anymore. Actually, instead, the happy, jittery moments are more vivid to me than the tears that were shed. Is that… odd?”

“Like… like what? Examples?”

Like when his arm bumped into yours for the first time on the walk after work, like when he discretely went out of his way to ensure your safety across the bridge home, like when he enamored over the ‘ripped abs’ of a fully nude female character design of an upcoming project whilst you stood awkwardly with a set of breasts in full display for the two of you, like when the two of you escaped to become the aloof, static noise of an unbefitting party, or like when he held you in his hands and kissed you at the stroke of midnight, the butterflies live on—even today—to shield you from the dampened blows struck by dull weapons of jealousy, insecurity, and remorse.

With time, the silver lining finally showed itself like a sun shining through after a stormy night. You’ve finally accepted the truths behind every weapon. She was pretty. They were pretty. She never wronged you. They never wronged you. They deserved his love. His heart belonged to whomever he desired.

He never badmouthed his peers and, as blunt of a man as he was, he never pointed out your flaws, even if that meant you would later return home only to find mascara flakes on your cheeks. He treated women like a gentleman, as contradictory as it may seem from his appetite demeanor; and while you fell for him for that, you also cursed him for that very reason. He didn’t owe you anything… up to a certain point until the lines were too blurred to decipher between the truth, the deserved, and the faulty. Be it Ji-eun or Jennie, you’ve come to terms with his relationships.

As much as your relations with him seemed to run on a fragile thread of fate, your time had run out and the window of opportunity had been shut—but hey, at least you had fun.

“Are you… smiling?”

“Hm?” you look up to find her staring at you in concern. Blinking blankly, you quickly clear your throat and retract the smile you had subconsciously adorned. “I am?”

“I… don’t know if I should be worried or not,” Yezi downs another glass of iced water and you’re about to follow suit until she almost chokes on her water, “hey—isn’t that Jennie over there?”

“Jennie?”

You almost curse at Yezi for teasing you over bygones that should’ve been left as just that, but she really wasn’t lying. You can’t believe your eyes when you whirl your head around to look through the darkened tint of the restaurant’s window panes. You might have never really spoken to Jennie, but that figure is undeniably Jennie.

“What is she doing?” you squint, struggling to grasp a clear vision of her silhouette under the dim, orange street light beside her. You could only catch a hint of her side profile but those cheeks and unique sense of fashion definitely belonged to her; on the other hand, the constant stumbling and the hand to her head, almost as if she’s about to collapse at any second, did not resemble her. “Oh, oh, hold on, wait, whoa—we should help her!”

You scramble to your feet and bolt out the door whilst Yezi takes care of your abrupt leave with the restaurant staff. A freezing blast of wind welcomes you as soon as you step into the sidewalk but you waste no time. Abandoning the cold behind you along with the past, your mind is set on aiding the collapsed woman on the streets.

“Hey! Jennie, hey!” you call out to her as you sprint to her side, dropping to the floor without caring to notice the shards of glass that consequently cut your knees as you carefully roll her limp body onto its back and away from the sharp hazards. The pain has you wincing and seething under your breath, but the conditions of the person lying before you has you even more concerned. Her skin is even paler than usual. Her chest rises and falls rapidly in an evident struggle. Your taps against her shoulder gradually become frantic shakes until all you can hear is your voice and the whispering commotion of bystanders behind you. “Jennie! Can you hear me?!”

“Y/N!” you turn around to find Yezi peering down at you from above. “What happened?”

“I don’t know but something’s definitely not right,” you say as calmly as you could, “call 911. I’ll call her family.”

“Got it,” Yezi nods, immediately dialing the numbers on her phone but pausing in the midst of the ring to face you, “wait, do you know anyone from her family?”

Gritting your teeth, you frown as you dig into your memories, “...no, I know she might have had a boyfriend back then, so he might know, but I don’t know if they’re still together and I don’t even know his number…”

“Do you know anyone who might know her boyfriend then?”

“Well…”

The ending trails of your voice are whisked away into the returning wind of that fateful night. Hands gripping at your phone and eyes staring at the stranger yet familiarity of a name that glares off the screen, it’s an inevitable force that has you stupefied yet marveled at the revival of a tugging string that ties you to him through the strangest, most meandering paths.

his side;

It was almost like a fever dream. Her name plastered across his screen and his eyes squinting through the glaring light that illuminates his room. It had been two years since he had any contact nor mention of her; and now, out of the blue, in the midst of a nap after gym session, she calls him for help. He couldn’t believe his ears when he first heard her voice, believing it all to be another one of those numerous dreams that had him regretting his past or questioning his choices. He shot straight up in bed, phone grasped and glued to his ears that blocked out the computer fan that ran in the background.

Even now, after throwing on a sweater and jacket and bolting out the door in a state of rescue, he can’t quite believe his eyes; because there she sits on the hospital bench, in the signature slumped boyish manner and the confused blank stare off into the distance that still has him quirking a smile in remembrance every once in a while. In her favorite white blouse and her only slack of black dress pants, it’s almost as if nothing had changed, almost as if she had never left.

It’s almost like time had bent to his incessantly subconscious pleas and reversed its works; but the almost will always be an almost, for as long as those hallmark vivacious eyes and those rekindled mien of ambition lives. As far as Jungkook knew, she left with a dreary heart and returned with a fiery purpose.

Despite all that, he can’t help but notice the way she fidgets in her seat, nearly sinking and avoiding all contact the second his presence had been noticed. Instead of the sheepish flickering stolen glances of the past, he finds himself at odds with the way she fights to return the locked gaze of his eyes. She fought so hard that she might have forgotten how to speak, rendering a soft chuckle from his lips because the girl he endlessly dreamt of might still live after all; and for the first time in a long while, Jungkook has to put forth the effort to fill in the silence.

“Why did you call me?” he asks plainly as he stands before her.

“Well, I didn’t know any of her friends except you…” he watches as she fidgets with her hands, gaze falling to the floor before returning to him, “are you going to visit her? I think the doctor should be okay with it if you’re her close friend.”

“No, Kai will be here soon,” he explains, finally bending down and placing the bottle of rubbing alcohol beside her on the bench. “I have other shit to attend to.”

“Oh, right,” she mumbles. The evident surge in annoyance amuses him that he just can’t quite wipe the smirk off his face. Turning her head, she continues, “you must’ve had plans with Ji-eun tonight. Sorry for the trouble.”

This is it. This is the moment that replayed on repeat like a broken tape in his dreams. This is his chance to mend the wounds he had inflicted upon the confessing girl who cried her eyes out on the cab home that one, indelible night.

An uncomfortable silence fills the air with the exception of the unscrewing of a plastic bottle and the gentle return of the bottle against the metallic bench, which is then followed by another staggering silence.

“We’re not that close and I’m not dating Ji-eun now.”

The girl turns with the quirk of a brow, especially when she spots him kneeling before her with a soaked cotton ball. “W-Wait what? Wait, shit, ow.”

“I don’t talk to Jennie as much as you think,” he states as a-matter-of-factly and continues to gently pat the cotton against the wounds on her knees. After hesitantly placing a band aid over the wound—something he had never done for anyone else nor for himself who just “sucked it up”—he finally lifts his gaze to interlock with hers, observing intently as if to soak the reality of it all in now before the inevitable tape begins to replay for the near future. “I broke up with Ji-eun before you left.”

“And...” she utters slowly, “why are you telling me this?”

Just like in the pool on that one night, her challenging eyes never budge and neither do his.

“I thought the past you would’ve liked to know,” he states. Head tilting to the side as if to get a better look, he remarks, “shit, you don’t look away anymore, huh?”

“Why would I?” she quips, snorting and finally breaking contact to stare off to the side. “It didn’t matter if I knew or not. It’s not like we were a thing.”

“Really?” Jungkook hums, gathering the scraps of cotton and paper before standing to his feet with a genuine soft sigh. It’s hard to brush off the two year old sinking sensation in his chest for something so nonchalant, but he manages to do it like he always does with that stoic look on his unreadable face. “Cause I thought we were.”

“What?” she gapes and he only gazes firmly back at her. “Why? It’s not like I… liked you.”

“Really?” Jungkook’s eyes flicker up at the ceiling for a brief second, lips pursing as he concludes the cards on the table: the unapologetic albeit risky truth or the defensive albeit purposeless self-deception. Unbeknownst to her, Jungkook had all the cards in his hands.

“Yeah,” she mumbles, avoiding his gaze and shrugging, “and it’s not like you liked me.”

Peering down at her from above, the boy’s crooked grin gradually settles into the silence along with the usual unreadable mien that he wears on the daily. “How would you know?”

Finally turning to return his gaze, she raises a brow at him before uncrossing her arms and standing to her feet. One step, two steps until she stands before him as close as she could recall on that night, she utters the one mutual truth of the night.

“Because you never told me.”

The brief silence filled with tension seems to last an eternity, yet neither of the two could take their eyes off the other. A rush of thrill intermixed with panic floods his blood. His fight or flight system screams at him to obey the very laws he had followed all these years but his mind warns him that change is a necessity for this euphoric heat that radiates from this very moment. He’s never quite felt like this before: throat knotting and heart leaping nearly out of his chest.

“Let’s—”

“—I need to catch the last train home,” she blurts, quickly taking a step back to distance themselves.

Like a magnetic force that she is to him, her retraction almost pulls the breath from his lungs along with it.

“What?” he frowns, trying to steady his breath. “It’s 10 right now. My last ride is at midnight.”

“Yeah, well mine is at 11 and I still have to walk there,” she shrugs indifferently to the entire ordeal—something that Jungkook takes to the heart.

“What?” he mutters, “the station is right next to this hospital.”

“What can I say? I’m a slow walker,” she prims, bowing her head and waving her hand to bid farewell. “Thanks for the band aid and all the help today. It was nice catching up. See y—I mean, take care.”

He stands there in silence, too stunned by the constant turn of events. Distracted by the crestfallen weight in his chest elicited by his shattered hopes, Jungkook raises a hand in response to her pressed, upcurved lips. He can only mumble a seemingly indifferent, “...see ya.”

There she goes—as gracefully as she had reentered his life and as fleeting as she had left for a second time. All this time he knew his side of the story: growingly regretful, discovering a yearning he never knew was within his capabilities, and helplessly pondering over a past he could not change and wondering if she did the same. At some point in time, those feelings became a fragment in time and that person he wished she knew became a version of his present self. He moved on, he forgot the magnitude of the pain, but he never quite came to terms with what it all could have been.

And all at once, the very moment he stands before her, the past him whomst he had perceived to be temporary comes flooding back into reality—flesh, fervent, and feelings of an immensity he could never have been prepared for—and if he were to be honest, he thought it would have been the same for her.

He never really knew her side, after all; but at the very least, he desires to hear it from her, herself. She never missed him, she never thought of him from time to time, she never woke up from a dream of him so vivid that it felt so real that she was left with a melancholic loneliness in the air—those words would close the gap in his chest.

If there’s one thing Jungkook had absolute control over at this very moment, it’s the last chapter of their shared novel in time and this is not the conclusion he imagined.

Before he knew it, Jungkook finds himself sprinting down the train station. Across the coldly lit hallways, up and down the stairs instead of the ‘shitty, slow escalators,’ and cutting through the nearing midnight breeze of the platforms until the breeze finally brought him to the last unvisited area, his daunting final destination.

Checking his watch, Jungkook’s chest heaves as he holds his hands to his knees in an attempt to catch his breath. It’s well past 11 now, nearing midnight, and he’s standing at the platform in the opposite direction of her new hometown. To the mere bystander, this platform really didn’t make any sense; but to Jungkook and his inkling, perhaps by a disheveled and desperate state, every twist and turn of the wind brought him right where he believes he belongs.

Puffs of his breath mark the airy night as he watches his last ride pass by the rails before him. Every cart, every seat, he scans them all. No one. His heart sinks with each check, each flicker of the eyes, and he begins to curse himself for his state of delusion until the last cart of the train flashes by to reveal his finale.

And as if by some sort of invisible string, life had somehow led him to her once again.

Because there she sits, across the wide yet surely crossable gap of the railway, legs crossed and hands folded in her lap, as if she had been waiting for him all this time.

Jungkook stands there, stupefied by the works of fate, “why are you—”

“—hey, Jungkook!” she calls out to him, voice echoing across the vast, empty station. “What were you going to tell me back at the hospital?”

Taken aback by her question, Jungkook chuckles to himself in utter amusement; and as if by the magic sifting through the night, the nearby tower bells ring across the remaining distance between the two at the precise stroke of midnight.

“Let’s date!”

The boy’s zestful holler resembles more like that of a cheerful proclamation, for the way he holds his hands to his lips before throwing them freely into the air garners a giggle from his spectator. His voice projection accompanies the bells, perhaps too softly and thereby physically undetected, but she could hear him nonetheless.

“I liked you and I still like you so damn much, you dumbass!”

After witnessing the boy’s courageous display, the words she’s been waiting for but never knew she needed until their paths crossed once again for a limitless nth time slips from her like second nature, almost as if she’s practiced it in her dreams all this time. Her loud proclamation, however, slips beneath the bells like an accompaniment to a ceremonious work of fate.

The two of them stand on opposite sides of the platform, their confessions are far and wide and perhaps inaudible, but the dorky smiles adorning their lips as they gaze across at their inevitable final chapters serve to prove an undeniable fact.

Whether by sheer will or by this invisible string, whether by his side or her side, the truth is: their eternities will be forever tied, forever golden.

351 notes · View notes

lazypeachsoul · 3 years

Text

i chased you all the way to Riga - h.z.

Request: by @alekssmorozova “Could i request Daddy!Zemo + spanking pretty please ? Have a good day/evening. 🎇❤️”

Warnings: +18. Minors DNI. daddy kink, spanking.

Word count: 2k.

A/N: i'm so incredibly sorry I'm posting this at 2 am. my computer in playing dumb with me. hope you enjoy it 🌼 Gif by @h-zemo

Translations: "Gutes Mädchen" means "good girl"; "gelb" means "yellow"; "rot" means "red"; "Schatz" means "treasure (pet name)".

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Waving goodbye to the security man you finally got out of the office building after an exhausting day at work. Meetings seemed to be a constant nowadays. Working for one of the biggest law firms in times when tensions are high and disputes seem to be more common, work was never scarce. But that meant free time was.

Normally you would have paid more attention to your surroundings, but the ache in your head and your heeled feet prevented you from really observing the environment. It wasn’t until you were unlocking your car that you felt someone behind you.

Turning around ready to disarm any potential attacker, you were stopped by a hand grabbing your arm. Expecting an attack you tried to free your arm to be able to defend yourself, but the attack never came. Looking up you found a man not much taller than yourself, covered with a long coat and a purple balaclava. It wasn’t until you found a pair of deep brown eyes looking at you that you understood who your “attacker” was.

Shaking off his hand you took a step back, trying to understand what was going on. He couldn’t be here in Riga. Last thing you knew about him he was in a high security prison in Germany, locked in solitary confinement. “Zemo?” Was the first thing that came out of your lips. It wasn’t loud but you knew he heard you when he moved to take the covering off.

"Schatz.” He spoke, accent heavier than you remembered. Probably the result of only using german to communicate during his years in prison.

His hair was still fairly intact for having been covered and his face, although sunken in from lack of normal nutrition, was still as handsome and mysterious as ever.

“You haven’t called me that in a long time Helmut.”

“I would’ve, if you had called or visited me in my imprisonment.”

His voice sounded strained and you then realized he must have not been allowed many visitors during that time. And even if he was, nobody would visit him after what he had done. Well, nobody except old Oeznik maybe.

“You know I couldn’t do it, if they had known we were involved in any way my life would have become hell.” You tried to excuse yourself, even if it was the truth. “how are you here anyways? Not that the visit is not a nice surprise but-”

“I escaped.” He answered but you know that was not the entire truth. Zemo was intelligent enough to know escaping would not grant him the kind of freedom he wanted. “Well, somebody got me out because I was needed in a mission, and now we are here following a lead. It’s a long story and one I don’t think we should have out in the open.”

He was looking around now, confirming his runaway status. He probably shouldn’t even be in the parking lot of one of the biggest office buildings in the city. You unlocked your car and moved to get inside of the car. Helmut stayed still, probably expecting you to run away, but you just pointed to the passenger seat with your head.

Once he was inside you started the car and tried to exit the parking lot as if a wanted criminal wasn’t sitting next to you. Once you were crossing the gates you took a deep breath and you felt your muscles relax. You could feel Zemo’s gaze on the side of your face, clearly not expecting this turn in the night.

“If I hadn’t left the lot Arnis would have come looking for me, he worries.” You tried to explain while keeping your eyes on the road. “And I imagine you don’t want to be seen.”

He nodded and moved his gaze from your figure and looked outside the window. From the small peeks you took, he looked to be deep in thought. You didn’t really understand what possessed you to make him get in your car, or to take him to your house. Maybe it was the past you shared or the remorse of not seeing him in the last years. Maybe even the remorse of not being there to stop him from committing those atrocities.

You parked your car on the street right in front of your apartment building. The less distance you had to travel the less of a chance of being caught. And even with all the precautions you didn’t feel completely safe until you closed the front door of your apartment and locked the door.

Seeing Baron Helmut Zemo standing in your tiny rented apartment felt silly. This man who had grown up close to royalty, who had lived in the best houses and schools in Europe, now stood next to cheap Ikea furniture and bad room decorations.

“Nice house.” He tried to break the ice but it only made you want to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Not all of us are born into nobility Baron. Now, are you going to tell me what is going on? I have the feeling that whoever broke you out might have no idea where you are right now.”

“Always so intelligent, schatz.” He smirked taking off his characteristing long coat and elegantly draping it over the sofa.

The scene reminded you of the last time you two were alone together, and how the night ended. He started rolling the sleeves of his red shirt and you started to see the old Helmut Zemo. The one who didn’t have to be worried about the world trying to catch him and could be his enchanting self. The Helmut Zemo who knew how to get the attention, born to be a leader.

“I’m not supposed to be here. I suppose James and Samuel are running around the city looking for me. But I’m in the best company I could imagine.”

“And I suppose what your entire mission is, right?”

“Again, so intelligent. You know what would happen if you were to be associated with me. You said so yourself.” He was looking at every detail of the room, but you especially you. “I did not come as a runaway looking for shelter. I came as a...friend.”

The tone he used to describe your relationship hurt but told you more than the rest of the conversation. It was true that you never used another label other than friends, always good friends and friends with benefits sometimes.

“Is that all we are, friend?” You couldn’t hold your tongue, the situation bringing you back to the dynamic you had before everything went to shit.

“Well, a few years ago you used to call me a different name, didn’t you?”

You were too worried about the situation to realize how close Zemo had gotten, making you jump slightly when you felt his hand in your shoulder. Softly moving it up and caressing your skin the hand found a home pressed against the side of your neck, lovingly but with authority.

“I spoke to you, my love. Don’t tell me you have forgotten.”

“I haven’t.” You spoke quickly almost as if your entire body knew what to do without needing orders from your brain. “Daddy.”

The smirk that spread through his face ignited every memory in your brain that included Zemo. From the first time you met back in Sokovia to the many nights spent together as young adults, including the years spent apart when he married and the reunion after disaster struck.

Without realizing you moved your entire body forward, pressing yourself against the man and your lips to his. The moment your lips touched it felt electric, like a current that had been dormant came alive again.

The kiss became ravenous, teeth clashing and hands pawing at each other's clothes. The small apartment felt immense when thinking of moving to the bedroom staying as close together as possible.

Breaking the kiss you looked at him and saw his usually expressive eyes were clouded with determination. You knew Zemo enjoyed the chase, and you were going to give it to him. Moving your face closer to him as if to kiss him again gave you the best distraction you could imagine.

Pushing Helmut back you started running towards the bedroom, moving furniture on your way to make the chase more thrilling. You tried to close the door behind you but he had reached you easier than you believed, as if he had never lost his military training.

“Why are you running away? Is it because you know you were bad?” His sweet voice a contrast to his authoritative figure.

Helmut Zemo was not the tallest or strongest man, but he had an air of power around him that the strongest men on the planet would want to have for themselves. And you would relegate all your power to this man, trusting him blindly.

“No daddy. I know you enjoy chasing me.”

“I do. I chased you all the way to a parking lot here in Letonia, didn’t I?” He was walking towards you until you hit the back of your knees against the mattress making you fall. “But I do think you need a punishment. You did forget about me.”

Your heart was beating loudly inside your chest and your entire body felt hot, the situation was familiar to you but that didn’t make it less exciting. He lowered his face to your now lower position and kissed your forehead softly, a silent question about what was going to happen next.

You grabbed his dominant hand and kissed the palm softly, granting him permission to carry out the punishment. You could tell what he was about to ask and responded before he could even get the question out.

“Gelb means uncomfortable. Rot is stop.”

“Gutes Mädchen”

His hand snaked its way to the back of your head, intertwining with your hair. Pulling softly he moved your head back, giving him access to your entire neck. His kisses were soft and almost ticklish. But you knew the softness would be gone soon.

He sat down on the bed, making himself comfortable before parting his legs and gesturing with his hand between them. Quickly standing up you stood in between them, allowing his hands to run through your hips until they found the belt of your work dress pants. He worked the fabric with confidence until you felt it slip from your frame.

His hands directly against your skin seemed to ignite every nerve in your body and when they moved to work the buttons of your shirt your breath caught in your chest.

“My sweet girl. I have missed you.” He whispered before kissing the skin of your hip that was revealed by the lack of clothing. “You are just as soft and warm as I remember you. I almost feel sorry for having to punish you.”

You had to suppress a whine at his words but he seemed to hear anyway. He was a natural speaker and hearing him speak that way too you made you warm and the heat seemed to pool in your lower belly.

“Please, daddy. I can’t wait.”

He chuckled softly, chucking the clothes far away and moving back to allow you to drape yourself over his lap. And that’s exactly what you did. You found your position so quickly that it almost felt like no time had passed since the last time.

His calloused hand caressed the back of your thighs moving closer and closer to the sensitive skin of your butt,causing goosebumps to raise on your skin. You rested your cheek against the comforter, humming as a sign that you were ready.

And suddenly the hum became a surprised moan when you felt the crash of Zemo’s hand against your skin. He soothed the skin and started muttering in german. “Let’s count to 6 and see if you learned, okay?” You nodded and another spank resounded around the room. “I need you to speak, beautiful.”

“Yes daddy, 6.”

He started soothing the skin again before you felt another shocking spank against your bottom. Every single strike made you moan and groan louder, and you weren’t the only one. Helmut was groaning not only because of the effort but at seeing your reactions and the probably very went patch on your panties.

You could feel how excited Helmut was getting against your belly that was carefully pressed against his groin. Even through the thick trousers the erection was more than obvious and only made you more excited for what was about to come.

Any thought of crimes, sentences, escapes from prison or other people were buried deeper in your mind with every moment that passed.

“Six.” You moaned when the palm crashed against your now sore bottom for the last time.

The entire room was buzzing with excitement, you bottom sore in the best way you could imagine and the hands of your past lover caressing the reddened skin.

“You did so good, beautiful. But I’m not letting you go now.”

“Please daddy...don’t stop now.”

Taglist: @teenwonder @sky-writes-stuff @kyli314

#helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo imagine #helmut zemo #zemo imagine #baron zemo #mcu imagine #mcu x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #nominors #myfic

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silentfcknhill · 3 years

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FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions:

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer and anyone else who wants to!

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