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#its so fucking funny they never mentioned jack
toastywindow · 7 months
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THEM
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seattlesellie · 1 year
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hi angelll 🦋 I was wondering if you could write something about ellie having a dacryphilia kink, if not that’s okay I know it’s a little bit out there 🩵
not out there at all bb <3
ellie fucking loves in when you cry.
warnings: darcyphilia, public sex
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fucking titanic. so cheesy, too.
little muffled soft sobs were escaping your mouth. sometimes watching a film in the theater made it feel… well, real. eyes locked on the screen, you couldnt help but feel pain. why did it have to happen to them? and that little old couple holding hands? and oh god - jack and rose were on that fucking door now too? youve watched that shit about a million times already, and it never failed to make you act like this. is the salty taste on your tongue from the buttery popcorn or from your flood of tears?
“mmph” you scrunched your nose, sniffling, trying to hold the snot inside.
and then there was ellie. munching on that popcorn, eyes focused on the screen, caressing your thigh, comforting you. did she just - hold in a giggle?
“s’not- not funny” you sniffled, josteled her, making her head bob.
“know its not, babe- just, so cute” she whispered, her lip curling into a sly smile. “so cute, youre so cute” she while smiling, and shoved another popcorn in her mouth.
“how are you not crying?!” you blurted out, utterly flabbergasted. how was she so calm about this? you could feel your own body trembling, tears clinging to your cheeks like pesky little irritants, and she didn't seem remotely fazed? It's rose and jack, for christs sake! theyre destined for a tragic end! not to mention the sinking ship, the countless lives at stake, and, oh my god, what if there were innocent animals aboard? what if there's a helpless puppy trapped in that chaos? that thought alone is just...
you let out a loud sob. what if?!
“shh… shh… gonna get us kicked out” she cooed, gently brushing away yet another warm tear from your cheek.
you turned your gaze back to the screen, desperately attempting to swallow the lump lodged in your throat. “els- cant not cry” you whimpered, followed by a sniffle and another plaintive whine.
ellie didnt turn her head back, however. ellie was staring at you, squinting her brows. ellie was supposed to watch the movie. but ellie had a different one playing in her head.
the way you uttered her name, a soft, pleading whine, oh… the way that sweet voice made her feel. your words spun her mind in dizzying circles.. “els… too tight” sniffle. she almost heard it echoing in her head. “hurting me, els” oh god. “s’too much ellie…” shit. she felt like she was writing a script. jack and rose didnt have shit on her.
she gulped. you didnt notice.
her left hand reached out to caress the dampness you had left upon her shoulder. she lightly pinched the fabric, witnessing a small droplet of moisture emerge, wetting her fingertip.
she was sick.
she shifted in her sit, slid off it slightly, and started shaking her leg.
focus on the movie, ellie. theres people around.
it was suddenly too hot, and her heart was beating too fast. why did she… like this? why did those tears, why did those whines… why were her boxers feeling tighter on her body?
she cleared her throat silently. eyes on the screen, ellie.
“hug me ellie” you whined.
can you stop fucking whining?
“of course” she whispered, and shifted to get closer. she wiped a tear from your eye. she wasnt laughing now. “put your head on my chest” she commanded. stay close right there, right there.
your tears continued to flow unabated. a wet patch had formed on her white tank top, marking the spot where your emotions had spilled over. one of your tears trickled down her chest, forging a path akin to a meandering river.
she felt like scratching herself. like slapping herself in the face. she listened to your soft breaths, and occasional sniffs.
she wondered if she could make you cry like that. wondered if youd sniff like that, if youd whine like that, when she was buried deep inside. could she circle your little clit with her thumb? and then could she wipe that tear off your cheek - with that same finger?
she gulped again. it was way too uncomfortable now, and why did you have to wear that top? why did you have to bring her here? why did your whines sound so cute, and why did she need to touch you right now and be the only reason for your tears?
fuck rose and jack. and fuck that ship.
her hand was still resting on your thigh. but it was moving now, ever so slightly, caressing it. she wanted to push it, push your buttons. she traced little circles on your thigh, and pretended to watch the flick playing on the screen.
her hand climbed futher up, and she was observing you intently from the corner of her eye.
your breath hitched up. “tickles” you murmured, in between sniffles.
“sorry” she whispered. she wasnt.
“you really are cute, though” she smirked.
every time she talked - its like you missed a scene. what if jack just died? what it he died and then your girlfriend called you cute and now you missed it?
“watch the movie, ellie” you warned.
like you could ever fucking warn her.
“m’watching it” she responded. “watching the movie.” if you were the movie you referred to, yeah, she was watching.
she planted a little kiss on your cheek. the old man sitting besides you sniffed. oh man, was he crying? the thought triggered yet another tear to cascade down your face. it felt as if someone had left a faucet running, the tears flowing without restraint.
her hand was caressing higher on your thigh now, and she squished the fat on the side. it almost hurt. ellie was wheezing now, she tried to hold her breath, but she couldnt.
she cupped your cunt, without warning.
shit.
her gaze adverted to the people sitting on the sits next to you. she was checking if theyd notice if she fucked you with her fingers right now.
the sudden contact made you jump. her hand was so warm, and it somehow managed to press right on your clit, and it tickled, but it felt so so good… but jack- but oh, ellie.
“what are you doing?” you whispered frantically. the lady sitting next to you cleared her throat. you didnt really whisper, apparently.
“i told you… youre cute” ellie whispered into your ear, her warm breath gently caressing your skin.
“and i like it when you cry”
oh.
you didnt respond. was the movie still rolling? your cheeks were still wet. your breathing got heavier.
she caressed your cunt through your jeans, and crossed her legs. she needed her own type of friction, too. her index finger went up and down the hem of the jeans located right on your clit. she was teasing it, pressing slightly. you spread your legs, involuntarily, almost. you looked at her with this look, it was filled with doubt, but god did you look needy, and pathetic, eyes glistening and cheeks burning. it drove her crazy.
“dont look at me, look at the screen” she commanded, brought her hand to your chin, pinched it and forced your face to shift towards the screen again. you tried to, tried to fixate on the moving characters, but fuck - it felt too good, and you needed more.
“gonna fuck you right here, gonna give you a real reason to cry, yeah?” she whispered, and you shivered. her pupils were blown out. for all she knew the movie was over and the credits rolled up. for all she knew a mall cop was standing right in front of you, she didnt really give a fuck.
“mm- yeah?” you whimpered, and slapped your hand on your mouth. fuck, you needed to stay quiet. this could definitely put you on a list.
ellie took the popcorn container and placed it on your crotch.
“shut up” she whispered in your ear, making you moan a string of curse words.
she shifted her eyes towards the screen, and pretended to watch.
her hand skillfully opened the button of your jeans, and fuck, you were shaking.
she played with the band of your panties with her veiny hand, gave it a twist and started pulling it up. it was grazing over your clit so good. you held back a moan, eyes rolling back.
your heart was beating so fast. what if people saw? what if-
ellie let go of your panties, and slid her hand right in. god, you were soaking, and you didnt even notice. she chuckled. shed give you shit for it later. “how are you always so wet for me?” its like you could read her thoughts.
her middle finger played with your sleek, brushing it up and down so slowly. she wanted to fucking taste it. pull your pants down, and start licking your pussy in front of everyone, giving them a real good fucking show. your mind went blank. ellie, ellie, ellie. that was the name of the movie playing now.
she bit her knuckle. she fucking loved teasing you, but fuck did she need to put a finger in, fuck- did she need to feel how tight you swallow it in, how your hole just clenches, how it owns her, holding her locked inside.
she wanted to - but she couldnt. make her cry.
her finger merely grazed your tight hole, teasing it. she wouldnt go inside, absolutely not. she caressed it up and down, and side to side, and then almost, almost let it slip inside, but pulled back. your mouth was watering, you wanted to chase that climax - you felt like you could come right then and there, just from knowing, just from feeling her hand on your cunt. the noise that came out was disgusting, her hand was covered in your sweet juices, creating obscene squelching sounds.
you whimpered in your sit, and tried pushing your hips forward. if she didnt put it inside, you needed to feel at least something on your clit. she was purposely avoiding it. its like you were cockwarming her hand. “m’god” you gulped.
“yeah?” she whispered into your ear and cupped your cunt again, and you turned your needy gaze to her for just a second. her eyes were closed and her eyebrows were squinting, you could hear her heavy unsteady breaths.
you whimpered, and bit your lips so hard they bled slightly. keep fucking quiet, she told you to shut up.
with her hand cupping your cunt, she began moving it up and down, grabbing your entire pussy with her hand. the popcorn container moved with it, bobbing up and down. fuck, thank god its dark.
she gave your clit a pinch, and it fucking hurt, but it felt so good, sending small jolts of pleasure to your body. she wouldnt let it go, just pinched it, and then released, and pinched it again. you needed to cum so bad, you almost cried. “m’ellie… ellie” you whispered while moaning her name, chanting it like a prayer. almost there, almost exploded all over her warm hand,
its like she read your mind. “dont cum” she whispered in your ear, making you let out a muffled moan.
you nodded your head frantically, trying to swallow the moans threatening to leave your mouth.
a tear formed in your eye. you needed it so bad.
she formed circles with her cupped hand again. you could feel everything. you took your sweater covered hand and bit it down.
she was panting in her sit.
“thats it” she whispered in your ear, and pinched your pussy lips together, so swollen, so pathetic.
the hot tear came down so fast, dropping on your cheek, and then sledding down on your neck, on your chest now.
“cry about it” she commanded, whispering in your ear, trying to hold back her own sounds of pleasure.
so you did.
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k0droid · 1 month
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would they say the n-word / are they racist: twisted wonderland edition
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Inspired by twstowo's taxes headcanon post.
I meant to post this during february but i just didnt.
REMEMBER THAT IS ALL FOR SHITS N GIGGLES. IF YOU THINK YOUR POOKIE IS/IS NOT A RACIST, REBLOG OR LEAVE A COMMENT
4/2 edit: JESUS CHRIST DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY 😭😭 THESE AREN'T REAL HCS, JUST SOMETHING STUPID FOR BLACK TWST FANS TO ENJOY
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GRIM: Yess that's my baby boy my son my son yes I give him the pass
RIDDLE: Couldn't waterboard the n-word outta him. Uses 'Off With Your Head' to punish anyone who uses slurs
TREY: Wouldn't. Not a racist and has no interest in saying the word.
CATER: Researches what's offensive to certain groups so he can stay respectful, no n-word from him
ACE: ace is literally that one white friend who thinks his n-word 'jokes' are funny (they're not) and he walks around with Riddle's collar because of that. He def went to a middle school named after a Confederate, but he's not racist for the most part "I play basketball so-" or "I'm gonna say the n-word: ninja!!" - 🥸
DEUCE: No. He's a good guy. He would never and if he said something remotely offensive, he'd apologize with tears
LEONA: YESS BLACK KING 🗣🔥🔥‼‼‼‼
JACK: Could and he does, but only occasionally. Punches the shit outta Ace's shoulder if he says something distasteful
RUGGIE: YES he just light-skinnted 😕 Ace would make fun of him for eating all the stereotypical foods
AZUL: Slightly racist. Just slightly. Seems like the type to get a lil tense when a tanned, well-built dude walks into the Monstro Lounge. starts clutching his pearls n shit
JADE: No, I don't really see him being racist or saying the n-word
FLOYD: Probably the least likely to say the n-word and would get offended that you even assumed. Like his entire mood would change if you mention it "Ehh Shrimpy? You tryna get squeezed? What made you think I would say that??" *fucking kills you*
KALIM: No, no n-word from Al-Asim. I could see him as a racist though. i think of kalim as purposely ignorant so in my mind, he's INTENTIONAL with his microaggressions but no one really calls him out on it.
JAMIL: Yes but only cuz I give him the pass.
VIL: Doesn't say the n-word (he knows better) but probably screams it in his thoughts. idk guys vil just seems a bit racist.
ROOK: Who's in Paris. LOL but I don't think he'd say the n-word. Also probably one of the least racist here. But he'd bring up eugenics in a convo and ruin the mood completely.
EPEL: I genuinely don't know if he would or not. Like because he from some rural area (to my knowledge, i js started book 5), i feel like he wouldn't because he'd know better. but i also heard that epel is misogynistic and hating black people & hating women go hand in hand (misogynoir)
IDIA: No but it wouldn't be surprising. i can already imagine him in that cod lobby. probably gets his slurs from cater
ORTHO: No my sweet child would not say the n-word. would blast idia out of this world with a charged beam if he said anything offensive
MALLEUS: No.
LILIA: Probably has said it before and is the most educated when it comes to black culture in the diasomnia group other than sebek (my 4c king)
SEBEK: No, in fact i might give him the pass (#mixedking😍❤️)
SILVER: No but probably a little colorist. yk how some black men love to scream from the mountain tops that they love white women? well silver is that white woman. js saying
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this was fun to make. pls remember that its just a silly post, dont get mad because only hit dogs will holler.
"what abt the staff/yuus/extras-" send an ask :3
4/2 edit: its crazy cuz the only mad people are white🧍🏾‍♀️
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auras-moonstone · 9 months
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OMGOMGOMG WHAT IF JACK CHAMPION X READER AND LIKE THEY ARE READING FUNNY THIRST TWEETS AND ITS FUNNY BUT JACK IS A LITTLE JEALOUS BUT YESSS I LOVE YOUR WORK BAE🤍🤍🤍 
hi, thank you sm!!🤍 this was really fun to write, hope you like it!
i’m so chill, but you make me jealous — jack champion
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word count: 1,059
pairing: jack champion x fem!reader
summary: y/n and jack are invited to read thirst tweets and jack gets a little jealous of the compliments his girlfriend receives.
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“HI! I’M Y/N Y/L/N AND I PLAY JULIET ON SCREAM 6” the girl said to the camera with a big smile.
“And I’m Jack Champion and I play Ethan Landry on Scream 6” he did a little wave while showing his perfect white teeth.
“And today we’re here with Buzzfeed to read…” Y/N said, waiting for his boyfriend to finish the line.
“Thirst tweets! I’m scared, Twitter is one wild app” Jack chuckled.
“I love twitter” Y/N told the cameras, emphasising the word ‘love’.
“She really does, she spends hours on it. And sometimes I can hear her laughter from the bedroom when I’m in the living room” he smiled, looking at her in adoration.
“People are very creative in there!” she defended herself. “Anyways, let’s start this!”.
it’s just rude how jack champion walks around being cute and i’m not there to witness it
Jack smiled “That’s actually really adorable. Thank you so much!”
“It’s honestly ruder when you actually witness it because you can’t just comprehend how someone this cute exists” Y/N said faking annoyance.
“Aw, stop it. You’re making me blush” he let out a nervous laugh, covering his face.
“My favorite hobby: making my boyfriend blush” she’s smiled proudly.
PLEASE I WOULD DIE FOR JACK CHAMPION AND Y/N Y/L/N I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE GRIP THEY HAVE ON ME I’D GLADLY WALK OVER HOT COALS CARRYING THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD IF IT MEANT THEY’D BE HAPPY
“I just love how supportive people are about our relationship. Like, especially the fans, they’re always sending us adorable messages and commenting how we make them happy. Honestly, thank you so much” Jack said in a grateful way.
“Yes, they are awesome! And you don’t have to do that to makes us happy. Just send us fan edits of us with Taylor Swift songs, and we’ll be the happiest!” she winked at the camera.
y/n y/l/n in scream 6 is so fine, like she could gaslight gatekeep and girlboss me and i would let her
“Thanks! I guess… man I love this! My self-esteem is going to be on the fucking sky once we’re finished!” Y/N laughed.
“I don’t know how I feel about people thirsting over my girlfriend… but at the same time I get it, look at her!” Jack said, turning his face to look at her profile. She truly was an angel—inside and out. And he honestly, even after a year of dating, still can’t believe how lucky he is.
jack champion has the cutest smile ever i cry forever
“I feel you!” Y/N said loudly. “He says he never had braces but I don’t fucking buy it. No one naturally has that million dollar smile”.
“Thank you for the compliment. And I swear, I never had braces”
“I don’t buy it, but okay. I love you so I’ll let you gaslight me”
y/n y/l/n could stab me 781 times and i would still be screaming thank you!
“Woah! You have some serious kinks, but I won’t judge you” Y/N laughed.
“Y/N! Oh my god” his boyfriend laughed. “I honestly don’t know how to take this tweet, let’s just quickly move on”.
if you don’t find jack champion hot, you’re lying!
“I mean, everyone has a different type, so” Jack shrugged.
Y/N rolled her eyes “Bullshit. You’re everyone’s type. If you know someone who doesn’t find him hot, send me their address, I just wanna talk”.
“I love you” Jack laughed, kissing her knuckles.
“I love you too” she smiled.
no one talks about scream 6 without mentioning how hot jack champion is
“I mean, it’s true! I think we all felt some type of way during the train scene… and when he took his mask off???? I forgot how to breath” Y/N said. She will never shut up about how gorgeous his boyfriend was, because his factions were just too good to not be talked about.
“I’m starting to think you sent these tweets, love”
“I didn’t. But you know what? I’m opening a Jack Champion fan account to tweet about your pretty face every day”
“I’m honoured” he laughed. Jack just loved how she was always complimenting him, it made him feel really loved by her.
i would let y/n y/l/n split me in half like a pistacho send tweet
Jack widened his eyes “Can we leave now?”
“No!” Y/N laughed.
“I feel like every tweet gets dirtier and I won’t be able to handle it”
“Are you seriously jealous about some random people on the internet?” Y/N chuckled “You’re so cute. Thanks for the tweet, by the way! But I have a lovely boyfriend who would definitely not appreciate me doing that!”
“That’s better” he smiled proudly.
i want someone to look at me the way y/n and jack look at each other
“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard” Jack said, touching his chest.
“We really are part of those annoying couples who can’t keep doing heart eyes to the other. And honestly, I’m not even embarrassed by it, I love loving my boyfriend”.
y/n is so fucking fine i hope her cheetos are FLAMING HOT like her
“And we’re done!” Jack said, doing one big loud clap. “Thank you for watching!”
“Thank you for the compliment and sorry about my jealous boyfriend. Thanks for watching, don’t forget to like and suscribe!” Y/N gave one last grin to the camera before it stopped recording.
“Everybody wants you” Jack frowned, wrapping his arms around her waist.
Y/N laughed “Sorry for them then, because I only want you. Now, can we go to the dressing room so we can make out?”
Jack nodded, and Y/N swore she had never seen him run so fast.
buzzfeed here you go! your favorite couple reads thirst tweets! ❤️
y/nxjack this should be called “y/n and jack read thirst tweets while thirsting over each other” tbh
y/nslover omg the cheetos tweet is mine!!! y/n.y/l/n you are the love of my life
jackchampion no she’s not she’s mine🤬
y/nslover jackchampion can you fight??
jackchampion y/nslover WHY WOULD I FIGHT SHE’S ALREADY MY GIRLFRIEND I’M GOING TO BLOCK YOU
y/n.y/l/n i love you you’re a sweetheart y/nslover 💕 JACK STOP IT OMG
devyn_nekoda i love how jack’s jaw clenches more and more as the video goes on😭😭😭 by the way, the pistacho tweet… i relate
y/n.y/l/n tell me time and place gorgeous :)
jackchampion we are over y/n.y/l/n
y/n.y/l/n okay jackchampion
jackchampion NO BABE I WAS KIDDING I LOVE YOU DONT LEAVE ME y/n.y/l/n
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specterings · 5 months
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gaz and trans male reader again.
nfsw under the cut.
cw / hairy reader ftw, gaz getting fucked w/ a strap, soft sex, oral (receiving), rimming, anal fingering, mentions of alcohol, whiny gaz, neighbor/reader is ‘you’ pronouns. ftm terms used: clit, dick, folds, cunt, hole
gaz who makes up every excuse to be around his bear of a neighbor. going out for coffee, walking with you, asking for flour, anything.
its not enough that you’re so attractive you make gaz so hard he gets light headed, but youre funny and kind in a way gaz has been sorely missing with his time in the field.
every time he's on leave he's finding a way to weasel himself into the your life, even if he has to go home and jack off until his prick is sore while muffling his moans of your name.
when a new gay club opens up, he’s too shy to ask you to go, so he goes alone, just to check it out. he should have accounted for said neighbor being there. youre standing in the corner, tall and imposing and god gaz has never wanted to get his mouth on someone so bad.
he sips on a beer, mingling with the crowd more for theatrics because he can feel his neighbor’s eyes on him. its only when gaz steps away from the dance floor that hes hemmed up against a wall, head brushing the neighbors chin.
“think youre funny?” you rumble in the sergeants ear, “think you can just flaunt around here after i hear you moanin’ my name like a bitch in heat through the walls?”
gaz’s face feels hot and his eyes dart down, hands clenching and his cock is hard enough to break steel. that hadnt been his intention. but well, seems like hes louder than he thinks. “i- listen, mate-“
“don’t call me mate and then expect me to fuck you,” your nose curls in such a purposefully silly way that makes gaz feel a little lighter. “yours or mine?”
“yours.”
gaz isnt drunk, but he feels like swaying when you put a baseball-mitt sized hand on his waist and guide him up to the bar, paying for both your tabs and shushing gaz like he’s just pretty arm candy when he tries to protest.
the second you’re in the apartment, gaz is whining, “please, lemme taste ya, please? please, i bloody need it.”
you laugh at him softly, leaning down and pressing your lips to gaz's cheek, then his own lips, soft and sweet at first then tongues pressing into each other's mouths. they both taste like beer, but gaz has tasted worse (like dirt and his own blood). your scruff scratches at his chin in the best way, and he feels like hes going do die if he doesn't get his mouth on you in the next few seconds.
he all but drags yall to your room-- your apartments are the same layout, after all-- and pushes you towards the bed. his neighbor still has that cocky, amused grin on his face that makes the sergeant want to be pounded into the mattress.
he's careful as he slides your boots off your feet, heavy in his hands and nicely polished, if a little dirty from the walk to and from. you unbuckle your pants, and as soon as he finished with discarding your shoes and socks he's tugging on your pants, which you graciously allows him to slip off.
he shoves his head between your hairy thighs, nosing and mouthing over your boxers, tasting the slick that's dampened the fabric. hes not proud of the whine he makes, but it's beyond him right now to feel shame. he damn near cries when you push his head away, only for his mouth to salivate when you to pull down your boxers for him.
just like the rest of your body, there's thick, though trimmed, hair around your cunt. this might bother boys, but gaz is a god damn man, thank you very fucking much.
he wastes no time diving back in like a man starved, using his thumbs to spread your folds and lick up the arousal there, the wet hairs brushing the bridge of his nose as he moves to circle his tongue around your hole.
he feels so good as he hoists your leg over his shoulder, nosing at your dick before running his tongue over it, humming softly as you pet over his head, "Such a good boy, ky," you murmured, groaning softly, rubbing under his eye. youre quieter than gaz is used to, but that's okay. his jaw is starting to get sore when you start bucking, pushing his head closer, and let out the most cock-hardening whimper as he sucks their dick into his mouth, feeling you cum underneath his ministrations.
you grip him by the back of his neck, pulling him up to smash your mouths together with soft groans of how hes so good, he was such a good boy, and gaz can barely retain enough thought to get his clothes off when you ask
laying on his back, letting you put his legs over your hips as you lube up your fingers and stroke his cock with one hand while your fingers prod gently at the tight furl of his hole, leaning over to kiss him again sweetly as you finally slip a thick finger in.
allowing him to get used to it and relax before you begin pushing it in and out, stretching him out so, so dutifully that gaz is whimpering and clawing and the sheets after awhile, begging you to get on with it.
face going hot as you laugh at him, amused even as you stand up and go rummaging, pulling out your strap, not too big and not too small, just the right size for some good, sweet sex. gaz going to get on all fours when you click your tongue, “wanna see your face, pretty boy,” and he feels the need to blow you again.
settling his legs over your hips again as you line up the lubed up cock and begin sliding in, making his breath hitch. going oh so slow before you start thrusting, deep but not harsh, slow but not torturous.
he almost feels self conscious for the way you watch his face as it twists in pleasure, the way you grin when you rub over his ribs, up to his pecs and thumb over his nipples. eventually you get a little faster as you lean down and start placing kisses over his neck, hand gripping his cock, giving him a hole to fuck up into.
“I- im gonna,” he gasps, hands scrambling to grip at your shoulders, all while you hum, sucking at his neck and licking over the darkened parch of skin.
��then cum.”
he spurts up to his chin damn near, you helping him ride out his orgasm before pulling out of him, leaning down to lick up the cum from his chest and your own hand and making his dick twitch in a valiant effort to get hard again. “you good, baby?” and when he just nods dumbly, getting up to get a cloth to wipe him down before throwing it off to the side to cuddle with your sweet boy <3
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c1garettesduringsex · 7 months
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Hi,
Could you do an Eddie Munson x reader where she is Dustin's cousin who has come to live with them. Maybe Dustin doesn't mention it to anyone as he knows that reader if exactly Eddie's type? Then the whole gang is over for a movie night, and reader comes out her room in her pj's
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"𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙋𝘼𝙅𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙎" | 𝙀.𝙈
Pairing: Eddie munson x Henderson!fem!reader.
Summary: Eddies never even seen you before, and yet. you have his heart captured.
Warning: 18+ grinding, cumming in pants, jerking off, semi-perv Eddie, Implied sex at the end, boners, sex mentions, skimpy pajamas.
A/N: smash, im not really sure if you wanted this as smutty as i made it, if not i apologize (not proof read)
Dustin’s sleepovers were nothing new, they’d been happening for years. but now, you would be there…Dustin's cousin. who he’d be sharing the floor in the basement with.
When Eddie had first seen you, he knew. he was a goner. you weren’t very similar to Dustin in many ways. but enough to know you were related, Dustin had described you as: boring, girly, and had a boyfriend.
the little lying shit!…you were, funny, gorgeous and single!it has like he’d hit the jack-pot on a woman. just with one down-fall
you were Dustin Hendersons cousin…of course he knew that, but he only realized he was fantasizing about one of best friends cousin when you actually waked through the door. you were even better than he imagined, and from the looks of things. you didn’t mind him...maybe even liked him too.
from the very second you walked through Dustin’s front door, all eyes were on you. looking stunning as he assumed you probably always did.
your PJ’s would look normal to anyone else looking at you, but fuck. you were wearing little shorts that rode up your thighs exposing underwear with bats on them. as well as a short top with the words. “black sabbath”
shit.
“I’ve got to go!” Eddie quickly said, rushing off to the bathroom upstairs. how the fuck! he had a boner from less than 20 seconds of looking at you.
what was wrong with him?! Eddie quickly tried to decide if he should jerk off in the bathroom and leave, but with the possibility of you knowing.
he unfortunately didn’t have much time to decide because through the hallway was someone calling his name
you.
“u-uh yeah?” he gulped, locking the door door so you couldn’t get in. last thing he needed was you seeing his boner than telling Dustin, no. he couldn’t stand the embarrassment.
“just wanted to make sure…y’know, okay and shit” he could hear your feet shuffling with nerves. “i am fine don’t worry about it” now its awkward…
“well then, have fun with your problem Hm?” you laughed, resting your head against the door. you knew about his raging boner for you? “T-thanks”
and with that, you left. he heard your feet move down the hall then he decided to just…jerk off. your voice and face fresh in his mind…
from the few seconds he’d heard you talked, Eddie figured maybe you were shy? however in the dark you were much different than he was expecting. and to be fair, you were technically sleeping, but you knew what you were doing. you had too.
because there was no way, your sleeping body had just kept rubbing against him.
annoyingly bringing back the boner Eddie had earlier, only this time. more hard, and more needy for you.
the little sighs, groans and gasps your mouth let out only fueled the urge to grind back against your ass. was that weird to do? probably, but in that moment he had close to no self control when you are around him.
“F-fuck” he gave in…hands on your hips, gliding you into him.
by now, you had to be awake. or at least having a little idea of what's happening? right?
“Edd-Eddie, please” oh fuck. you were actually awake. and willingly grinding on him for release.
You only went harder, faster, until his dick twitched in his underwear. and with a loud moan, you had at least tried to muffle with your hand. Eddie came in his pants, just from a little bit of friction. “t-thats embarrassing—” Eddie Munson had never experienced a kiss like the one you gave him, full of passion, tongue, lust…
you were hungry.
the night only after that was full of hard breaths, moans, used condoms. and you both loved every second of it, you were his dream girl.
"Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about." — Sarah Nader
-Summer
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crushedsweets · 6 months
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ok ok ok ok so i feel like,m idk. hat do you think the creeps are like when they laugh or smile. like full on snorting sobbing out of breath red tomato face laughing or just lik "haaha" or what
HIIII i love this ask its so cute. again, applies to my au, so if i mention smth weird its cuz its smth deep in my brain.... LOL
tims a chuckler... its like a deep, almost raspy chuckle. if its ever funny enough for a full laugh, he's wheezing.
brian also chuckles, but he has a huge smile and it sounds a lot more genuine than tim half the time. we all know what his smile looks like it is very pleasant .
toby's always cheesing. ok jk no he's not but he likes to laugh, it feels good. he'd start with a closed mouth, trying not to smile laugh cuz he's also annoying and doesnt want to give ppl the satisfaction that theyre funny, but he can't hold it in and will literally throw his head back laughing at random shit
kate has a cute little smile, those little crescent smile lines at the corner of her motuh - she has a quiet laugh most of the time, she's really not the type to go HAHAHA...
natalie snorts. if smth is funny she's snorting and u know it. not even laughing she'll just snort n nod along
jack just has a very normal like. hahah. like if its funny he's gonna bbe like haha. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN like theres litetally so many guys in my classes who just laugh like hahaha and thats jack.
sally giggles, obviously . shes like lol. hehe. haha. HEHE. she has those over-sized big ass teeth that kids have when they havent grown into their adult teeth yet, so it looks rlly cute when she smiles. always smiles w her teeth
ben wheezes, snorts, rolls his head back, fucking grips his stomach, he goes the full mile. it is never that funny but wow will he laugh.
jeff also wheezes but it sounds like he's a chainsmoker,closer to tims wheeze rather than bens wheeze. its ugly. he smiles w his teeth too, and its fucking. his teeth wont even be touching his smile is just huge idk like hes ugly idk bro omfg. im sorry. no. he always sounds like hes laughing at you, rather than with you
liu wheezes too, runs in the family i guess. he just sounds like a much more pleasant, genuinely happy version of jeff. laughs with you. will put a hand on ur shoulder if u made a joke and laugh and tilt his head down and shake his head n shit.
jane has a quick sudden "HAH" type of laugh. it kinda surprises people cuz youd expect more of a gentle "haha" thing but its so sudden and loud and its cute fr.
nina fucking giggles she wont shut the FUCK UP she will keep going and snort and slap her knee. her and ben r the same theyre so annoying. shes so cute though.
ann has an annoying ass sultry laugh. like it almost seems like shes forcing it to be sexy. its terrible. she smirks too. its awful
lulu has a very light, airy laugh. never smiles with her teeth. it almost echoes when shes in fog
sadies laugh sounds like shes crying like the amt of time shes been laughing hella hard and someones liek RU OK and shes liek YEA ... then covers her face to laugh its so bad
dina has a sinister ass laugh idk how to explain that one either. a mix of HEHEHE and HAHAHAH like its never that serious but shes laughing like idek.
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ctrlchar · 11 months
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Charlie Walker NSFW alphabet
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A/N: I need Rory Culkin so bad it’s not even funny
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Whether he be on top or bottom he will always want you to tell him how good he did .
But you come before anything.He will always make sure you are okay and will clean you up before doing anything else.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On himself he likes his arms/hands the most. He loves how easily he can kill someone with them but also touch and feel you with them at the same time
On you his favorite part has got to be your tits. He loved how soft they are and how it feels to rest his chest on them while he lays down. Not to mention just how pretty they look.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
It doesn’t take a lot to make Charlie cum but when he does he cums a LOT
But his favorite place is definitely on your face he just thinks you look so pretty with his cum all over you. If you ever hear a camera shutter click while he’s “getting something to wipe your face off” no you didn’t
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Although he loves you and would never do anything to hurt you just the thought of fucking you in his ghostface outfit has gotten him off many times
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He has never had any sort of sexual experiences despite from a few kisses here and there. But not at all does that mean he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s a film geek and that doesn’t stop at just regular movies,he’s seen his fair share of adult films to know what he’s doing.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Although its pretty simple missionary is his all time favorite. It’s perfect to him,he gets to see your facial expressions as he fucks you into oblivion.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
If he’s on bottom then he will not make a single joke,not because he doesn’t want to but he can’t even think of a joke to make due to all the pleasure he’s feeling. But if there’s not really a top or bottom then by all means he will crack a joke here and there
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He keeps his hair relatively short but not completely shaven. The opposite goes for his happy trail,he would never even think about touching his hair there,he thinks his happy trail makes him look sexy but will never admit he thinks this
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He takes your pleasure just as serious as his and will do whatever it takes to please you
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He gets himself off regularly even after the two of you started dating,his favorite way to get himself off is definitely with your underwear that he stole from your room
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Praise-He loves praising you ALMOST as much as he likes to get praised. He’s a whore for the words “pretty boy” and same goes with “good boy”
Hairpulling-He goes feral when you pull his hair but will not do the same to you unless you ask him to. He hates the thought of hurting you,it reminds him too much of what he does as ghostface
Begging-He will cum instantly if you get on your knees and beg for his cock
Cameras-Although just a camera alone isn’t a kink he’s always had a thing for recording during sex. He would never do anything with the video except for use it to get himself off when you’re not there
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
His all time favorite is the bedroom since that’s where he can give and revive the best orgasms but desperate times call for desperate measures so if he has to fuck you in a empty class room or even the cinema club room he will
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Literally everything.
Since he’s inexperienced the lightest touch will have him creaming his pants. Hell seeing you in a tight fitting shirt will have him cumming
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
As said above he will never ever do anything to hurt you nor will he every share you with anyone,not that you’d need anyone else to please you
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Oh my god he will give you the best head of your life,I’m talking eyes rolling into the back of your head good. He makes sure to look up at you to see your facial expressions which is what makes him so good.
Although he prefers giving more the receiving he loves when you give him head and will whimper the whole time
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
When he’s on top he’s usually pretty fast and rough but when you’re ontop he doesn’t have a preference
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not his favorite but when needed he’ll get you alone and fuck the shit out of you
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Despite not wanting to hurt you he’s fine with trying anything once and will not hesitate to tell you what he likes and doesn’t like.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Due to his part time job as ghostface he’s built up a pretty high stamina,so I’d say he can go about 4 rounds
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Nothing more then a blindfold and maybe a pair of handcuffs. He prefers to watch you come undone due to him rather then a piece or silicone or plastic
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He doesn’t really tease you much,he prefers to get straight to the point rather then tease you
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He literally won’t shut up during sex, whether hes begging for you,telling you how good your doing or simply just moaning the only way to shut him up is to gag him
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Long before the two of you had even gotten together you were the source of all of his wet dreams and sexual fantasies and he’d even stolen a pair or two of your lacy panties but if he had you didn’t notice
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s about 5 and a half inches but is definitely more girthy then he is lengthy
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Due to being a virgin for the first 17-18 years of his life ever since you two started dating he can’t keep his hands off you so I’d say he had a pretty high sex drive
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards
He unsurprisingly doesn’t go to sleep after sex,but if you do that’s also fine with him he’s content with just laying down while you sleep beside or ontop of him
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This is a little different from your usual content. But you have so much niche information that just I love to hear about. Do you have any podcast recommendations?
WHOO okay so I'm doing my nonfiction podcast recs and leaving out my horror or audio dramas but without further ado:
It's been out of production for years, but Caustic Soda is probably my favourite of all time. It's a small Canadian production of tons and tons of episodes on everything from shark attacks to murder to warfare to bugs and anthropology. It's so fucking funny and pretty well-researched as time goes on. Honestly, I was so young listening to this that it formed part of the lens through which I view the world.
Stuff You Missed in History Class: Often corny, wee bit lame, occasionally hilarious, always solid; this one is probably the one that has taught me the most. It's been on the air forever now, and it's really fucking great. They have also used sources that I actually dug out and made public for the first time and I'm quite proud of that. Its the favourite sweater of podcasts.
Time to Eat the Dogs is about the history of science and exploration. I highly recommend it if you like any of those things. I really like the host's interview style; all the guests are academics and authors. It's very conversational and feels like having a lovely sit-down with good friends, but those friends have Ph. Ds.
Casting Lots: Two really, really funny Brits discuss survival cannibalism across time and space. This podcast informed me that a story i heard as a fireside tale was based on true events. It somehow manages to mention Canada in every other episode and then some. I love the first three seasons in particular. They have truly done some incredible work in the course of their series and pulled from some primary sources that surprised even me, an actual archivist. They're shockingly respectful for how funny they are and how disturbing the content is and really take into consideration things like culture, empire, sex and racism as they discuss cannibalism, and it's just. I love it so much, truly.
Big Old Boats: It's not technically a podcast, but I've never once in my life actually watched the video as he discusses various maritime disasters, and I don't think I've ever missed anything by doing so. This is an absolute must-listen if you enjoy maritime history, missing ships, ghost ships, or just anything weird related to a boat. Archival work I did is actually mentioned in a couple of episodes!
Not What You Thought You Knew: Another podcast I really love that was, unfortunately, a very short run but academics and actual historians debunking popular historical myths. I am very, very fond of the episodes on The Night Witches in particular.
The Midnight Library: Last but not least my favourite fucking podcast currently running. It's a nonfiction podcast framed as a fictional witch/librarian in her cursed library telling (mostly) true stories around a particular theme, human vice, or any number of stories. And the way it's framed is so fucking great. Like they're talking about real history, witchcraft and folklore in so many of these, but you get little glimpses of world-building that have honestly started to bleed into the way I write. Even the ads are for fake magical businesses like 'the League of Lady Grave Diggers, the Broom and Fang pub. The library assistant/bouncer is a werewolf. The Witch's on-again and off-again boyfriend is a spring-heel jack. It's just so fucking clever a way to frame a nonfiction podcast in a spooky atmosphere while being historical, terrifying and funny in turns.
Anywho, if you listen to any of them let me know! And sorry if that went overboard!
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ladybirdswritings · 7 months
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BEAUTY AND THE HYBRID - Klaus Mikaelson Fanfiction
summary: the slip of burlap rope brings an unsuspecting girl into the arms of a vicious, bloodthirsty creature.
warnings: mentions of ab*se, stockholm syndrome, captivity, dea*h, and violence.
next chapter <3 | ao3 | tag list
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"Oh fuck yeah!"
"Birdie!"
My face tints a rose-like pink, burning at my cheeks as I scold my sister with wide eyes. She is happy today, and that's rare for us. Regardless, happy or not, her sailor's mouth never fails to mortify me. The patrons of this syrup scented diner stare for a moment, but return to their meal soon enough.
Birdie is fourteen today, and her eyes are eager and swimming with starvation as she inhales the powdered sugar air. I can't really afford this, not right now at least. Probably not tomorrow either, but today is her birthday. She'll only be fourteen once and- mom would have done the same thing. In fact, mom did do the same thing. Many times for me. When I turned twelve, we snuck into a cake shop and ate each sugared treat cased in glass displays. That was my favorite birthday.
I am not brave enough or- stupid enough to steal from anyone else. I have done enough of that this week.
"Dude, they have french toast coated in chocolate syrup."
Birdie is drooling now, I smile at her.
"Whatever you want, Birdie."
It's sad, how this is like Christmas for her. A warm meal at a shitty Mystic Falls Diner for the big one four. I will do more, soon. This however, it will be dealt with if I just take over Riley's night shift at the Grille- she won't mind the time off anyways.
The waitress is a strawberry blonde, her legs seem to go for miles. Her eyes are a pretty blue and her smile is tinted pink. Birdie wastes no time.
"Chocolate syrup french toast please! Heavy emphasis on the chocolate syrup... Ooh! And a stack of four pumpkin pancakes with whipped cream and lots of bacon and eggs on the side. Some orange juice too."
The waitress stifles her grin as she jots Birdie's order down on yellow pad paper.
"And for you?"
Birdie looks at me hopefully. I gaze into her eyes for a moment and pretend that my next words will be a request of pumpkin pancakes too.
"Oh that's everything, I'm not hungry."
Guilt floods them,
"I can hold off on the pump-"
"No Birdie, really I am not hungry."
I'm starving. My stomach growls in protest, luckily quiet enough for only me to hear. Birdie believes me, at least I hope she does as she sinks back into the booth.
The waitress smiles sympathetically, nodding once before scurrying off.
Birdie is impatient, drumming her fingers on the cherry wood as we wait. It isn't just the food she's impatient for. She groans.
"Ahhh- apple! C'mon- can't we just take a two second peek at what's in the big dumb thing?"
My brows twitch in discomfort and urgency, and I lift my finger to hush her. Maybe what that man said was all just to scare me, maybe he thought it was funny. It is the month of halloween after all, I have learned in my years here how serious all of Mystic Falls takes it. Still, I don't wan't to take any chances.
I shake my head at her,
"No. Not happening. That dude told us to keep this locked tight under all circumstances."
Birdie only rolls her eyes at that,
"Pfft. That guy was probably just trying to scare us. Ooh! I bet its drugs, or illegal weapons! Or illegal drug weapons!"
I shush her again.
"It doesn't matter what it is, it's not ours. I'm not opening it. I need it safe till midnight, till I get the payout and we get the hell out of Mystic Falls."
Birdie frowns, eyes gazing at the lonely jack-o-lantern glowing golden on the concrete outside.
"You think all that money is gonna buy us real fancy meds for dad? Like ones that'll get him better quickly?"
I wince at the question, I want to say yes but I truthfully don't know. He's worsened this month, I only hope these days. So does Birdie. It's her birthday, I can't make her sad.
"I'm sure we'll figure it out, we always do. Dad's gonna be fine. We're gonna have lots of money, money for medicine and money for unlimited pumpkin pancakes until you're at least forty three."
Birdie nods in agreement with that statement, "fuck yeah." she whispers. She tries to keep it discreet but, I hear it anyways. I ignore it.
The strawberry blonde waitress returns, juggling Birdie's food on a golden arm. She places four plates down in front of my lanky sister, her eyes light up like a million fireworks have ignited within them.
"Brought you a coffee pot sugar, its on the house."
The waitress, Karen, she smiles softly and it's warm like the coffee pot. She throws pink packets of sugar and small cups of cream in front of me. It'll keep me awake, I'm grateful. I thank her as I pour the bitter drink into the mug and breathe in the aroma.
Birdie is devouring her food as if it will up and leave her.
"My my, all this food. Today a special occasion?" Karen inquires, I nod with a warm grin.
"It's her birthday."
Karen gasps, "A birthday!? Well how old are you sweetheart? Old enough to pay the bill?" She jests.
Birdie shakes her head, teeth crushing a mixture of chocolate whipped pumpkin toast topped with bacon and egg. Whatever she could fit in her mouth. "Nope. Fourteen." She speaks muffled with a mouth full of food- her words are hardly audible, masked by her chewing. I repeat it to the waitress.
"Well then, a birthday calls for a special treat don't it? I'll go get one."
I nod gratefully, "Thanks. Hey um- do you guys have a bathroom?"
She points to the right and I slide out of the booth-gripping the white oak case in my hands. I'll bring it with me. I would be a fool to lose it, let alone leave it with my very occupied sister. I almost don't believe it's anything of importance, probably just some cruel prank. My intuition reminds me just how too good to be true it sounds. Yet, I am hopeful this month. So I'm playing along anyways.
My eyes are glued to the case as I walk right, so much so that I don't see the polished boots in front of me. I gasp, accepting the fate of the floor before it even greets me. We never meet. I clutch on to the fabric smelling of maple and bourbon. It tethers me, lifting me to my feet.
It is silent, I meet ice blue eyes.
Christ...
They bore past my very being, into something I don't even see myself. My soul, maybe. He is tall, tall enough that it makes me feel quite small. He has golden brown hair that curls at the tips, and golden brown stubble that surrounds pink lips. His eyes, they're all I see.
I stumble, he steadies me again with two strong hands.
"Holy shit!" Birdie calls, maybe amused- maybe relieved. She saw that, everyone saw that. My cheeks are pink again, as are the tips of my ears. The man's eyes wander around us, and it seems like that is enough for everyone. They all mind their business and return to their meals. As if he just cast a spell to detour their gazes.
His hands still grasp me as his eyes devour my composure.
"Are you all right?" His voice is like honey, stuck in a glass pot but glazing sweetness dripping from the very lid. It is deep, accented. He isn't from here.
I can't speak, I feel like I am crushed under his boot, the same one I tripped over. I only nod.
He releases me, slowly.
His eyes remain on mine, until they don't. He peers at the white oak case with an expression I cannot begin to describe. I watch him for a moment, analyzing. Fear strums at my core... its familiarity- I think. Or maybe I am just paranoid. I gulp, bending down to collect the case in my hands in an instant before he gets the chance to. I gaze at it, praying my fall didn't disrupt whatever lay inside.
He gazes at it too.
I have to speak now, otherwise I will be stuck frozen here.
"I apologize I um- I should have been paying more attention."
He doesn't tear his gaze away from the case. Not at first, for a moment that seems far too long for me to stomach. He breaks, eventually and a part of me is relieved but it seems a bigger part of me wishes he would just return his stare toward the case again. His eyes feel like they're burning through me. Like as if I try and speak again, my voice will falter to nothingness.
"You're alright, sweetheart. On you go."
Sweetheart. It calms the nerves. I nod gratefully, but his eyes returning to what is grasped in my hands just reminds me of why exactly I should be stepping rather than shaking. A gulp, then I am on my way, feet clashing against the noir tiles. Birdie is accompanied by the waitress, I catch glimpse in a napkin holder and sigh in relief as I push through the faded blue door.
I am eager to release the case from my burning hands, I was gripping it tight enough to callous my reddened palms. I throw it on the ceramic sink as the faucet squeaks, my trembling hands splash my pink face with warm water. I heat even more.
The mirror greets my pallid features, sunken in with exhaustion and hunger. It also meets my eyes, swimming with a melting pot of emotions. My breaths are shallow and labored, and my heart is pounding on its cages.
I splash my face again and yet? I cannot shake the feeling that this won't be the last time I see that man again...
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Ok people seemed to really like the last post I made summarizing an unwritten fleshed out worm fanfic I had, so here's another! This one's an altpower and wait where are you going come back its good I swear.
(tw: suicide)
Taylor triggers with Ingenue's power after an incident involving Sophia (who is removed from the wards and not a part of this fic past this), and outs Sophia as a cape since Ingenue can see powers. She's forced into the wards because she has no ability to defend herself, is immensely powerful, and people will want her dead or on their side since she can out every cape in the city. She genuinely has no practical choice besides the Wards here, so she begrudgingly joins. It's not all bad though! She actually makes friends for the first time in so long :)
Her and Missy hang out a lot, and their powers synergize super well since Taylor can make Vista frighteningly powerful. She warms up to Dennis after some patrols, she can make his power non-touch based too! Dauntless is like a mentor figure, they meet up every day so she can make his charge way more powerful, speeding up his growth by like 3 times, and he gives her lots of advice, helps her begin to come out of her shell, and is generally chill. Good times.
So y'all remember that bit about Ingenue's power causing people to go insane in the long term? What if you didn't know about that and you constantly used your power on your friends? Wouldn't that be funny?
Clockblocker is the first to snap. He's on a train when he just decides fuck it, and freezes a pencil in the air. Everyone sitting to the left of him down the length of the train gets impaled by it, just goes clean through. It's covered up as a villain attack, he's ushered off to the asylum, and the wards are just. Really messed up by it. They miss him, they miss his jokes, and they don't get why he did it.
A week passes. Taylor confides in Dauntless about how she feels like it has to be her fault, like everything is, but he reassures her. It's fine, she's done so much good, sometime's people just go bad. Genuinely just a great pep talk, she still misses Dennis but she's grateful she has the rest of her friends and Dauntless is there to cheer her up. She also mentions how it's hard to walk around the city, she keeps seeing villains and she can't do anything about it. She mentioned a few weeks ago that a bunch of them keep going into the same building, but she's helpless and just has to sit by.
That night, Dauntless levels the Medhall building. A few E88 capes were inside and they fight, and he kills them. Everyone else in the building is injured at the least, collateral damage that Dauntless would have cared about before. There's no covering that one up, he's killed dozens. When he's caught more than half the empire is dead, along with upwards of a hundred bystanders, and he's sent to the birdcage.
Taylor doesn't leave her room for a few days. Vista reassures her that it wasn't her fault.
On their next patrol, Missy begs Taylor to use her power to remove her manton limit. Taylor doesn't, but she's pretty sure she sees the pattern now. Vista's going insane. Were the other two this obvious? Should she have noticed? Would everyone be alive if she had? Would she still have friends? How can she tell anyone about this, when she'll be blamed?
She goes to Piggot, pretty much accepting that she'll get birdcaged or something. She's a horrible person, she knows that. She never gets to talk to Piggot, because all the heroes get called into the field to stop an A class threat. Vista is twisting the city around her, killing countless people. She turns bullets back, she extends a knife with her powers like Jack Slash. She's finally proving what she can do, then they'll all see, and they'll respect her and let her fight the way she wants to.
(side note, ingenue's power makes people closer to their shards in this interpretation, which also means they're flat out way more powerful even without her touch after a while)
The heroes are fighting Missy, they're losing, none of them want to hurt her. Missy see's Taylor from across the city, she's using her power to see almost everywhere at once by distorting space. Within seconds, Taylor is next to Missy. She reaches out to touch her, if she can shut down her power then it'll all be ok and Missy can get help and they'll be friends again and it wont be her fault. The space between them is a mile long and a foot thick. Missy doesn't want her help right now, she wants to prove herself to Taylor so Taylor will finally appreciate her power and they can be a team. Taylor tries to look away as Missy kills someone, space is warped so her line of sight is directly on the act. She closes her eyes, and the space between her eyelids is stretched infinitely wide. She watches, unable to stop her, as Missy keeps killing and defending and destroying. Missy begins to try to upend the sea floor, to dump the ocean onto the city. She's taken out before that can happen. How doesn't matter, what matters is Taylor couldn't stop her. The city is in shambles, its her fault, she was RIGHT THERE and she couldn't do anything, she could just watch and watch and watch.
She tells the PRT about how she thinks her power is breaking people. She's banned from touching anyone. They don't do much more, legally speaking she's safe and it wasn't her fault. The rest of the wards don't talk to her anymore. They blame her, just like she knew everyone would. It's her fault everything went to shit. She can't blame them for hating her, she hates herself too. She sneaks out to go on a walk one night, when the hateful looks and resentment get to be too much. She sees a cape. Lung.
Taylor knows her power is practically useless alone, and she walks up to Lung and insults him, provokes him, riles him up to attack her. If she dies here at least she'll be remembered for dying as a hero fighting a villain, rather than someone who corrupts everything they touch. Lung burns her, bad, all over her right side. He lifts her up by the neck and prepares another fireball. This is what she wanted, but she can't do it. She twists his power, reducing his durability and fireproof nature to zero and ramping up his firepower. Lung burns himself to a cinder in seconds, erased by his own power once the protections were gone. Taylor gets burned again in the blaze. She couldn't even commit suicide without hurting anyone else. She couldn't even die without fucking it up. She's alive. Panacea refuses to touch her to heal her, for very understandable reasons.
She goes to the asylum, despite her request for the birdcage.
Filled with guilt, afraid to touch anyone and everyone, blaming herself for everything that happened, avoiding Dennis at lunchtime while he glares at her, closing up and being silent for days on end, haunted by the people Vista forced her to watch die. Her fault, all of it.
And that's the end! Woooo! She's broken forever, no coming back from that one!
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burninlovebutler · 1 year
Text
28 - Temporary Fix* // Forever Winter Series
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pairing: austin x fem!oc | word count: 4k-ish
warnings/notes: you’re going to be mad at me i’m sorry not sorry 😅, substance abuse (weed, pills), riding, p n v (protected), mentions of death/grieving & strip clubs/sex work, arguing, crying, lightly inspired by 'Novacane' by Frank Ocean lol, again… pls don’t hate me 🫣, 18+ ONLY, MDNI
summary: austin uses every distraction at his disposal in an attempt to shove elsie out of his mind. when caught off guard, he takes the opportunity and utilizes it in his favor - regardless of the fall out.
previous chapter -> 27 - The First Close Call
see masterlist for chp log & all other fics ♡
vibes -> forever winter playlist ❄️
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I know I'm gonna die in this bed I made And I'm drowning in a dream that I can't escape If I could wake up, I'd hesitate
But it's too late to turn back now Oh God, I tried but I don't know how If I could escape it I'd trade in the blame, you can take it If I doesn't take me first
-AUSTIN-
That New Year’s night I slipped from Elsie’s bed and drunkenly walked home. Elsie’s words rang in my head like church bells,
‘friends don’t do the things we do Aus’
She was right, they don’t.
But we do.
We shouldn’t, but we do.
It had to stop, we had to stop.
I wanted more than I could handle.
We’re friends. We’ve only ever been friends. Through every close call, every almost kiss, almost fuck – friends. That never changed. It was only sex. It was only ever fueled by sex. Nothing more.  
My head was too faded and foggy to decipher any philosophical questions about my friendship. It didn’t matter anyway, she had Nox and I had… my deal with Nox.
Fuck
I suppose jacking off above the girl you’re supposed be staying away from didn’t quite fit into that deal.
The reality was that I wasn’t sober yet and Elsie couldn’t find out. New Year’s had to be the last time I see her, at least for now. Until I can get my head on straight. I just needed to get it out of my system. I just needed out of my own brain – and that’s exactly what drugs helped me do. They gave me a temporary escape route. I just needed some time to breathe, and they could help me do that. She didn’t understand that. She didn’t understand that sometimes, they were my friends too.
When life didn’t feel so heavy, so complicated, so confusing, so fucked up, I’d be able to come off of them. I had it under control, this time was different. It was temporary. A temporary fix.
No matter how much my head was haunted with the remnants of Elsie, I needed to forget her, just for now. If New Year’s was going to be our last close call, I had to stay far away from her. I knew if I was around her, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself again. I wasn’t lying when I said it was all or nothing, I just slipped up and gave in. She made me weak.
And I’m sick of being fucking weak.
Weak with her, with my body, with my brain – I was so fucking sick of it.
All this time I was running from my scrambled brain with its funny little hallucinations, while trying to be a normal fucking functioning human being when all I want to do all day is lay in bed and wither away. And of course, running from the about 50 million different rules I broke with Elsie, my best friend, with a boyfriend that now had collateral over my head. I was trying to outrun exactly who I am.
And I’m so sick of running.
It shouldn’t take this much fucking work and energy just to be normal. If this is who I am, why not just let it take the wheel? The answer was right in front of me –
Stop running.
So, I did.
I stopped running.
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The only way to get away from Elsie was to ignore her, which is exactly what I did. I hadn’t picked up a single call from her for the past week.
The moment I got home and sobered up from my New Years hangover, I had Aspen at my apartment. Never would I have thought I’d be grateful to Nox for anything, but I was for her.
She was the perfect distraction, pretty, fun, available, reliable, tangible. Easy – not easy in the stereotypical misogynistic sense of being easily accessible to sex, but in the sense of being able to breathe. Exactly what I was looking for.
A temporary distraction.
A temporary fix.
She slept over that day and pretty much every day since.
Now, she was in my lap, her hips rolling into me while she bounced on morning wood. My hands trailed up her bare boney hips and squeezing her waist letting out a groan. It felt so good to actually be able to touch her, fuck her, hold her. Everything I couldn’t do with Elsie.
Though my body didn’t scream for Aspen the way it did for Elsie, being with her was so stress-free that it almost made up for it.
She slid up and down on my throbbing cock, then firmly planted deep in her core when she began to carousel her hips. She had a quite successful technique – ride, swivel, ride, roll, ride. Keeping her circular motions with me rooted inside, she leaned down to meet my lips. Her cherry flavored gloss coated my lips and asked for entrance which I easily obliged. Our tongues danced with each other, the mutual taste of weed mingling while she kept a burning blunt plucked between two fingers. She finally pulled away and put the brown roll to my lips as she continued sheathing herself over my pulsing cock. “Suck.” She smiled and I obeyed, hallowing my cheeks to inhale a heavy hit, the end sizzling red as I did so, then blowing it out above us in a swirling cloud.
She stole the finished blunt back and snubbed it out into the ashtray on my bedside table then returned to interlock her lips with mine. My hands traced up her toned sides and finding her lace covered breasts, cupping them. I kneaded the masses that filled my palms completely and grazed my thumbs over her perked nipples, earning me a whimper into our interlocked lips. “Aus I’m close.” She whispered then rode me faster, frenzied like she’d hadn’t been touch starved for years – even though we had stayed up all night with my cock buried inside her.
I let out grumble being dangerously close to my own climax, “Me too, come for me, will you? I want you to fucking come on my cock.” I growled.
She gave an obedient nod and leaned backwards, arching her back away from me and propped herself up by an arm behind her. Her free hand found her clit and used her fingers to help her reach her finish line. As she ascended on my length, she tightened her walls around me helping me with my own demise. “Fuck Austin I’m-“ Suddenly she erupted in sobs, her movements on my length sloppy and quick.
The moment I felt her pulsing around me I was a goner, my cock twitched inside her and spilled what felt like every ounce of cum inside me into the condom. Her juices flowing down past my base and her continued clenching threw me into a blinding overstimulated buzz. “Fuck.” I squeezed her hips hard, she replied in a mischievous and victorious giggle knowing exactly what she was doing. Finally dismounting from me with a pop and fell next to me, our heavy breathing matching time.
I brought my arm to cover my eyes, “Fuck you’re good at that.”
She let out another proud giggle, “Thank you.”
I pulled the condom from my member, tying it into a knot and tossing it into the trash can then returned. Her arm curled into mine, causing me to go ridged from her touch.
Yet I gave in, even cuddling into her. Again, it was nice to actually be able to feel her.
“You’re pretty fun,” She smiled up at me from where she rested on my arm.
I chucked, “You too.”
“You wanna smoke?” She asked playfully, as if we hadn’t just finished a thick blunt.
“I thought you’d never ask.” My free arm went blindly through my bedside table knocking over some pill bottles in the process, to find another half smoked blunt from last night in the ashtray. With a swift flip of a lighter wheel, it ignited a flame that singed the end of the roll. A thick inhale filled my lungs with smoke then let it out in a curling cloud.
“You make smoking look so hot.” She teased before stealing the roll, mimicking my actions. I rolled my eyes and took the blunt back, inhaling another hit.
“Can I tell you somethin’?” Aspen looked up at me serious.
“Hm?”
“I’m not joking when I say,” She took an overly dramatic pause, “That I think you’re the best dick I’ve ever had.”
I erupted into laughter, the weed clearly kicking in already, “What an honor.”
She gave me a gentle elbow, “I’m serious! I think I’m dickmatized.”
“Dickmatized?” Prompting even more laughs, “What the fuck does that even mean?”
“You know!” Smacking my arm playfully, “When dick is so good you’re like hypnotized.”
“That’s a thing?” Scrunching my brows down at her, it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. “Well, thank you? I’m glad you think I’m good enough to cause… that?”
“Yeah, it’s a thing! Why do you think so many girls stay with guys no matter how bad they treat them?”
No matter how they treat them – it made me question the pride I had with Elsie. Maybe she was hypnotized by Nox in that way too, maybe that’s why she stayed with him. Even though she’d expressed the opposite, it didn’t stop the insecurity I felt. It was the only explanation, right? Why else would she stay with him if there wasn’t some missing piece I wasn’t seeing.
“Oh, so you’re only in this for my dick huh? I suppose I am pretty shitty.” Then taking another deep inhale of green.
She gasped, “No! Of course not! I think you’re pretty cool – though I guess I am in it for the dick right now. I don’t really know you.” She didn’t sound sad or angry, simply stating it as a fact.
“I know I’m teasing.” Taking the brown wrapped roll to her swollen lips. She sucked in a hit, her hazelnut eyes stayed on mine as she did so.
I pulled it away bringing it and mimicking her actions. “You gotta stop lookin’ at me like that or you’ll start me up all over again.” Then letting the thick smoke cloud above us.
“And would that be so bad?” She teased with a curled smirk.
“Yes! We have to get out of bed sometime today.” Gesturing to the mess of the bed then the bright open window. “Plus, I don’t know if my dick can take anymore, I think you’d drained every drop of cum out of me.”
“I think you’re wrong, I don’t think we have to leave the bed.” Then giving me a matter of fact look.
“Oh no? And if we’re not fucking then what do you propose we do?”
“Well… Like I said I don’t know much about you? You could tell me stuff?” And curled around my arm more.
We had already talked about how neither of us are looking for anything serious, but her actions weren’t reflecting that right now. None the less, I was curious about her too. “Alright, shoot.”
The blunt held tight between her pointer and index, pondering with a tugged bottom lip, “Hmm…. Do you have any siblings?”
“Nope, you?”
“Yeah, a sister.” She replied, her eyes dimming slightly. “Hm… okay. Did you go to school?” She asked.
“Yeah, I graduated two years ago. Business Law.” Answering visibly degusted by it, “You?”
“Well actually I’m still in school! I wanna be a dentist really bad.” Flashing a big smile obviously proud of it. I would’ve never expected that from her.
“Oh wow, a dentist? I would’ve never guessed that from you.”
“Why ‘cause I work at a club?” I was evidently not the first one to have that reaction.
“No… well,” The high making it even harder to lie, “Well yeah, I guess.”
She shrugged seemingly unaffected, “It’s okay, I get that a lot. I only work there to help pay for school.”
“Ah, makes sense. You’re certainly hot enough to make bank.” Taking back the brown roll, inhaling a hefty puff then coughing it out, “How did you get into that anyway?”
Her demeanor shifted slightly, eyes and shoulder dropping, “Well, my sister used to work there, so she helped me get a job there when I was 16.”
“Sixteen?” Jarred by the detail, disgusting me, “Jesus fucking Christ why would she do that?”
Her shoulders peaked into a shrug, “Money, I guess. She was never the smartest cookie in the jar.”
“Was?” I regretting the question immediately.
“Oh, yeah she passed away a couple years ago.” Voice noticeably faltered, masking her pain.
“Oh wow, I’m so sorry ‘Pen.” My hand dipped to meet hers between us, sliding between her fingers. I bit down on my lip contemplating whether I should open up or not. “I uh- Well my dad passed away a couple years ago. So, I get it. It’s hard.”
“I’m sorry Aus.” Her brown eyes glimmered up at me with a mutual sadness that only people who’ve grieved could share.
I nodded acknowledging her sympathy. A couple silent moments passed before I cleared my throat, “Well, I think it’s my turn?”
“Sure, shoot.” Straightening up her posture next to me.
I hummed around the question that I was genuinely curious about, “How do you know Nox?”
She chuckled a little, “At the club obviously, he’s there a lot.”
“At the strip club?” I clarified before reacting further.
“Yeah, truthfully, I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend. None the less one so pretty.” A sort of devious smile tugged at her lips, indicating that she might play for both teams. “He never really participates though, just flirts. So, I guess that makes sense.”
My brows scrunched at her, “So he just sits there?”
“Yeah kinda, I guess? He hangs out with the managers.”
“Managers?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe he’s a shareholder or something?”
“Interesting…” I pondered the answer, though the high was getting the best of my ability to fully comprehend. “And how did he convince you to go out with me?” Questioning with a sly smile taking a puff of the diminishing roll.
Her cheeks peaked with a light shade of pink, “Well, I don’t know, it just came up one day that I needed a fuck buddy that wasn’t an asshole and he said he knew an eligible bachelor.” Making her voice overly proper at the end.
“Hm,” I handed over the blunt that was tucked between my index and middle fingers, “Well I hope I was a good consolation prize.”
She laughed, “Yeah I’d say you’re a pretty good prize… How about you? How did he get you to go out with me?”
My eyes rounded at the question. I couldn’t tell her the truth – that she was just a byproduct of a scheme. That she was just my mule for my fixes and the sex was an added bonus – a much needed distraction. “Pretty much same.” I lied, a shrug pulling my shoulders up.
Suddenly there was an abrupt knock at the door.
“Oh shit, do you mind getting that for me? It’s probably just Amazon or something.” I asked since she was wearing more clothes, even if it was just underwear, it was more than my complete nudity.
“Sure.” She smiled and slipped on one of my long sleeve button downs over her arms, not bothering to close the front. The white shirt hung baggy off her shoulders, landing upper midthigh.
I began scrolling on my phone while she went to answer the door. Then I heard an exchange and Aspen beginning to talk to someone who seemed to push through when I heard her exclaim, “Hey!”. I sat up suddenly on alert thinking that someone was trying to break in.
“Austin?” Called a familiar but newly annoyed voice.
Elsie
Elsie
Fuck
I scrambled to pull covers up to my neck in an attempt to hide any evidence. Aspen raced through the open room before Elsie with an apologetic expression that exuded ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t stop her’. The brunette stomped in just behind her.
“Hey Els,” Bringing my hand to the back of my neck in a scratch.
“Austin.” She stated shortly then taking a small sniff of the air, “Were you smoking?”
I ignored the question, anyone with a nose could tell we’d been smoking. “You know it’s kinda rude to just stop by without notice.”
“Oh, that’s rich, from someone who showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night.” She retorted and crossed her arms over her chest.
Aspen just twirled her long hair shyly behind Elsie, her eyes down not looking at me. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking but I knew it wasn’t good. I knew I’d have to deal with it later but my concern right then was Elsie.
I let out a sigh, “What do you want Elsie? What are you doing here?”
She took in the room fully processing the situation. She lifted a bag stuffed with styrofoam containers, “I brought pancakes from Harry’s, thought we could talk.”
“Elsie.” I groaned slipping gym shorts back over my hips beneath the covers before pulling myself out completely and walking to her. “I appreciate the food, but I do have company over, and this is pretty rude of you.” I knew my words were harsh and that they would slice but that’s exactly what I needed to do. If she was going to just barge into my house unannounced, I needed a sure fire way to get her to leave me alone in the only way I knew how – anger.  
Her brows lifted sharply with small tilt of her head. “Oh well I’m fucking sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, whatever-“ Moving her hands in wide circles, “whatever this is.”
“Els-“
“Is this why you haven’t been returning my calls for the past week?” She snapped.
I understood her frustration, I really did. Perhaps on a level she didn’t even recognize since it’s exactly how I feel with Nox. But just as I had no right to be jealous over Nox, she had no right to be jealous over Aspen.
“Well, Elsie-“ I began but cut me off when her eyes drifted to the pile of bags on the ground. One was Aspen’s main overnight bag, and the others were filled with uniforms for her club shifts, including some rather tall platforms peeking out.
“How long has she been here Austin?” Her eyes meeting mine once more. The green eyes that normally reminded me of a serene lake now resembled a rampant sea serpent.
“I uh- Well I’m-“ I stuttered but Aspen answered for me.
“I’ve been here since New Year’s.” She spoke up, still in a rather shy quiet tone but a slight competitive edge laid beneath it. As soon as she said New Year’s there was an instinctual survival urge in my chest to run for cover.  
Elsie’s face paled followed by ravenous anger, “Oh,” Letting out the most terrifying chuckle wrapped in pure vengeance. “Did he tell you what he did on New Year’s Eve?” She snapped her focus to Aspen, who continued to coil her hair around her finger anxiously.
“Elsie c’mon you know that’s not-” I tried to quickly interject in before she continued.
Her brows lowered and knitted at Aspen, “He didn’t tell you that he all but fucked me on New Year’s Eve?” She had an armed gun filled with bullets with Aspen’s name on them.
She blonde chewed on her bottom lip shyly and looked up her with wide eyes, “I don’t care.” And shrugged wrapping the baggy long-sleeved arms across her body.
Confusion swirled in Elsie’s face, her eyebrows curved in steaming anger, “You don’t care that your boyfriend left you at a party to see me? Or that he came all over me that night…? The night before you slept over?” I’d never heard her so angry before, so vicious.
Fuck
Aspen’s eyes fluttered to the ground for a second, Elsie’s words clearly bothering her. But then her brown eyes met Elsie’s again, “No, I don’t care. He’s not my boyfriend.” She unexpectedly stepped closer to the brunette with narrowed eyes and a pointed finger, “And I don’t think he’s yours either.”
This was definitely not how I thought this morning would go – my fuckbuddy and my cheating best friend throwing raw fuming estrogen at each other. Neither one in the right to really be angry at each other, or me.
“Whoa whoa whoa,” I stepped between them when Elsie advanced at Aspen, “Let’s all fucking calm down shall we?”
The two turned to me with crossed arms. I’d never had two girls fight over me before, but it wasn’t as sexy or glamorous as it seems in movies. Though, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t inflate my ego just a bit.
“Am I wrong Austin?” Aspen snapped at me, “We’re just fucking, and Elsie is your best friend – who already has a boyfriend.”
“Well no-“ I began was cut off by the blonde, bringing up something I’d said in a fuzzy strung out daze. “The best friend you told me just last night that she was nothing to worry about? That you said you’d never see as anything other than a best friend?”
Fucking hell
Elsie’s lips immediately down turned, and eyes softened, “Austin.”
“Well I- I mean-“
“Is that true?” Her voice quiet and timid.
This was so fucking confusing. What exactly was I supposed to say?
‘No, actually, I’m fucking confused because I want to fuck you and I want to hold you - not just when we’re drunk and for fucks sake, I don’t know why but I want to fucking kiss you’ ?
When she has a boyfriend?
And why would she even fucking care if I felt that way? She was still with Nox, if she even felt the same, she wouldn’t still be with him. Right?
And what? I was gonna ruin her relationship and our friendship for a maybe? For a fuck? For a kiss that could feel like nothing?
“Not to mention I know your boyfriend.” Aspen interrupted the brief silence, peaked her brows and popped a hip out.
Elsie’s sullen face struggled to unlock from mine and turned her attention to the blonde, her face filling with pink. She was embarrassed, nervous, scared. “What?” Her voice dripped in a shudder.
“I know Nox. He was the one that set us up.” She stated as if it was common knowledge.
“What?” She repeated, stumbling back a bit, then refocused back onto me, “Is that true Austin? He set you two up?”
I sighed “Yes.” Nervously scratched my arm, “Nox set us up.”
Elsie ran her tongue over her lips seemingly processing the word as if they were a foreign language. “I-I have to go.” Her eyes low and voice cracking towards the end. She didn’t even look at me before pivoting and b-lined to my front door.
I gave Aspen an annoyed look, dropping my hands at my sides and shook my head at her before chasing after Elsie. I reached the door before she did, pressing against it keeping her locked in.
“Elsie…” I said softly down to her. A sharp jab speared my stomach when I noticed her bottom lip quivering and light tears rolling down her cheeks. “Elsie I just-”
“Is it true.” She asked sternly, brows knitted together focusing on my chest while her fingers curled into the plastic bag she held. She was trying so hard to stay still, but the crinkling plastic gave away her trembling.
“Yes Nox set us up-“
“The other thing.” Her teary eyes squeezed shut as if she was preparing for impact.
The truth still stood, she was with Nox. She had a boyfriend. We’d already crossed some fucked up cheating line with what we did and there was no reason for me to confuse her further. Especially with the shit Nox had over me, it was too much of a risk.
This was it. This was the deal I agreed to.
I looked up at the ceiling taking a moment before I spoke. “Yes.” Letting out a breath before looking down at her.
The redness in her cheeks and the waterfall tears noticeably worsened. “Yes what Austin.” The attempt at harsh words cracking between each syllable.
“I-I, I don’t-”
I didn’t want to say it. The words burned like rancid bile in my mouth. I shut my eyes and tried to remember that this was what agreed to at Christmas, in her kitchen, with her boyfriend pinning me against a counter. I was in too deep to turn back now.
“You’re my best friend Elsie.” I exhaled a deep sigh, “Nothing more.”
There was a still moment, a pause. She didn’t respond or react to what I said. Guilt spread through my body like the plague, but I didn’t quite know why. It felt like apologizing for something I didn’t do. I knew it was the truth, she knew it was the truth. So, why did it feel like I just said the most horrendous shit to her? 
Suddenly, the bag full of breakfast was shoved into my chest, crushing both the Styrofoam and the pancakes inside. “Els-” She threw the door open, using it to push me away propelling me into the dining table behind me. I struggled to steady myself before finally making it out the door, but it was too late. She was gone.
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Next Chapter -> Be My Mistake*
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Thank you for every like, reblog or comment, it means the world to me truly. I love hearing your thoughts and I'm glad you're liking my little story 💗
Tag list: @cryingabtab @slowsweetlove @purejasmine @feverdreamcaoilainn @coloradohighs @denised916 @julie181 @navsblog @centaine @golden-kiwis @michellelv @suspiciouselvis @presleysdarling @eddiesgorlie @ranaissingle
(if you'd like to be added pls comment 💗)
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122 notes · View notes
theladyoracle · 6 months
Text
✧ General Creepypasta Headcanons ✧
𖦹⭒°。⋆𖦹 The Lady Oracle's AU 𖦹⋆°。⭒𖦹
Featuring: The Slenderman, Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, BEN Drowned, Eyeless Jack
a/n: Just jotting down some of the general headcanons that have been piling up in my notes app! Honestly it's so much that its starting to lag down the note LOL!
Also I take requests so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE shoot them into my ask box!
cw/tw: mention of murder (obvi), mention of torture, mention of vomiting, implications of 'incidents', implications of cannibalism
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The Slenderman/The Operator
10ft tall...and then some
He/Him/It
Goes by both Slenderman and the Operator. The only difference is that he makes his Proxies only address him as the Operator. Denizens (lower ranking creeps, I'll make another post about this probably for my au...) are allowed to address him as either. This is to make sure that the Proxies don't get 'too friendly' with him
Seldom cares about anything going on between the people who live in the manor unless it directly affects him. Will actually get so annoyed if people bother him with petty problems or drama. He only cares about his things, his home, and his business
Is basically a dirty, evil capitalist landlord
Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss fr fr /hj
Is very supernaturally inclined. Reads books, casts spells, and brews potions. Is very knowledgeable of other realms, creatures, and magicks
Is very secretive with everyone in the Slender Woods. For all they know; he is the strongest, most powerful entity there is in the woods and they should fear him. This is how Slenderman likes to keep things
Out of touch with humanity, but sometimes its really funny! He will forget that humans need food to survive, and finds it 'inconvenient' that they need air to breathe...okay maybe its only funny to me
He finds some human things charming! Like fashion - he has a tie for every occasion and always wants to look presentable. He also loves a good riddle
Thrives with paperwork. Literally has a contract for every Proxy and Denizen. Loves structure
Will call the Denizens his 'children' at times....but will seldom ever call his Proxies his children. Proxies are regarded more as property or dogs than they are people
Jeff the Killer
Denizen (at age 21)
Is 29 years old
He/Him/His
5'10 with wide shoulders, a thin waist, and moderate muscle mass
I headcanon Jeff to be half Korean (on his mother's side) I believe this due to the traditional pronunciation of Liu's name
Loves using a knife as his primary murder method because its intimate - he truly considers it to be an art
Is close with BEN. He sees BEN as like a younger sibling (similar to Liu.) So he spends a lot of time barging into BEN's room (much to his distaste) and annoys the fuck out of him. I think he does this because he's pretty lonely too but doesn't want to admit it...
Before his psychotic break, he was obsessed with other famous serial killers. His other hobbies before murdering his parents include: manifestos, torture methods, and anatomy
Is a total metal head - doesn't listen to anything except for alternative music
Will totally ask you to "name 3 songs" if you're wearing a band t-shirt (even if he doesn't know the band...)
Owns a tattoo gun! Is really fucking bad at giving tattoos.....
BEN Drowned
Denizen
He/Him/His
I think of BEN as a sort of shapeshifter. Taking inspiration from the game Majora's Mask, I like to think that BEN is able to change his "skin" to however he wants to appear, but has a default form that gradually changes (so for example depending on who he chooses for a victim, he can portray himself as a 12 year old boy, a teenager, or even older) but his default form is one that can age as though he never drowned as a boy
This isn't just limited to age - he can use this to look as freaky as he wants. Usually this is just to make himself look more uncanny for his victims
I don't think BEN in my AU is the ghost of Ben Lawman (the boy who drowned) I think that Ben Lawman's essence was twisted and possessed by something inherently evil during his death
When he was found in the woods, the Slenderman saw the wicked potential that this new entity possessed and offered him a deal
Probably like 5'5"-5'6"
Skinny, like really skinny - despite how much he eats
BEN is a total incel :/
Frequent Discord, Reddit, and Twitch user
Despite the Slenderman giving him the incredible gift to age as if he never died, he is still so fucking immature. it's like dealing with a child
He always seems annoyed when anyone comes to talk with him. He takes everything as an attack and has the crudest, most annoying, immature sense of humor
He has to be bribed to do LITERALLY ANYTHING
His room smells like dirty socks and vape juice
Literal definition of "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT"
Jane the Killer
Denizen
28 years old
Latina
Lesbian
She/her/hers
5'7" . Soft hourglass-shaped build with strong thighs and legs!
She is a woman of science and logic, and is overall just a very intellectual woman - lowkey kind of nerdy, it's sweet if you get to know her
Comes across as 'no nonsense' to newbies and people who don't know her well, but she's secretly very sarcastic and clever! She has the realest conversations, and is a powerful ally to have
There are a lot of rumors about her in the manor, because she seems to be the Slenderman's favorite
Oftentimes is doing a lot of household errands or chores for the Slenderman as part of her contract
Helps compile mission files for targets (sometimes helps with research, but mostly puts them together and then serves the assignments underneath resident doors)
Does the interrogations and initiation processes for new recruits to the manor (asks them questions to build their contract, shows them around, etc)
Quick-witted and sarcastic - doesn't let anyone talk shit to her. Literally no misogynistic comment goes by unchecked. She absolutely tears into the creeps that come at her
Has an absolute adoration for old horror films, true crime, and investigation shows
She loves solving mysteries or puzzles. Brain teasers and riddles are totally her thing! But...is like way too good at it. I mean, she can guess the answer to any riddle first or second try, and she's ALWAYS guessing the ending of movies within the first fifteen minutes. It kind of takes the fun out of everything
Usually likes to spend her down time alone. She feels like the 'mom' of the mansion otherwise (and hates when she feels like that)
Eyeless Jack
5'11" with a slim yet muscular build
25 years old
He/Him/His/They/Them
EJ is exceptionally intelligent - both in creative problem solving and just in general with his anatomical knowledge
He's is so quiet in everything he does. Sometimes this is comforting and sometimes its creepy. He's silent. He types quietly, he wraps wounds quietly, he cleans quietly....kind of just a strong and silent type kind of dude
He is the only resident of the manor that the other creeps feel safe and comfortable getting care from, because he actually keeps a sterile and clean environment while he performs operations
KIND OF RANDOM! But I think his parents were total hippies (literal cultists)
I like to think he was a vegetarian before the incident :'(
His skin looks super ashy gray but it's actually super smooth - he moisturizes all the time in attempts to get his radiant glowy skin back but it never really works with his dark gray skin
Has to wear eye masks to bed so that the ooze doesn't get all over his pillows and sheets. Usually he doesn't care if it drips on him or his clothes, but hates when he wakes up and it's all over his face
Cannot eat anything besides human organs without vomiting - and HATES vomiting. Like he's developed somewhat of a fear of it now...especially how it looks when it comes up
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That's just about it for now! Thanks byyyeeee~!
xoxo -Oracle
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monstrouslyobsessed · 4 months
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at this rate ima beat this jack frost all black and blue with how much trouble it is to write something im happy with. sighs. anyway, i got some asks to answer! some of them got a tad too long so its all under the cut!
tw / tags: heavy heavy beastfolk lore/worldbuilding talk, momster talks too fucking much, breeding mentions, implied noncon, multiple pregnancy mentions, long post, beastfolk / beastfolks characters mentioned: revius, zedrik, cerelos (brief), sea witch, adoxi, and velarius
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Beast folk idea I have! How about a male kangaroo that is of course some type of famous professional athlete (aside from boxing, he could be a martial artist, sprinter, etc.) that has been a play boy all his life (based off of how male kangaroos flex their muscles in real life to females). He never I guess had any “moment” in his life with any females, where he felt right actually wanting to be with them and love them whole heartedly (whether beastfolk of his own species or those not). So then one day someone he knows (close friend or maybe a work professional) takes him to an exclusive private party where the beastfolk have “rented” some humans to do it with. (I don’t know lore wise how legal this is, if at all, but it happened some how). I guess it’s so private because some of the guests there are secret human efers, those in denial, or just haven’t found the “right human” yet and would like some hands on sampling before purchasing them. And so, that’s how the kangaroo meets us his adorable darling. And I’d really like this to be very sweet and fluffy (before becoming mouth watering smutty of course), with kangaroo just having a “zing!” moment with us. We were the female he needed to feel complete in regards to love, and he plans to take GREAT care of us. (It’d also be funny to show how overprotective he is of reader from the start, by him unhesitatingly outbidding some of the other party guests who’ve also taken interest in reader). Of course it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, as reader has trust/abandonment/attachment issues. So finding out that her new kangaroo owner is (was) a MASSIVE play boy isn’t helping her fears. Now it’s up to kangaroo to do damage control, learn how to be a much better beast man, and show his sole love/devotion to reader. Making sure she’ll never question his love/loyalty to her ever again! He wants to make her the envy of his past flings, other beastmen, and just everybody really, since she’s the center of his universe. (Kangaroo also wants to really make her his permanently by getting her knocked up/wifey too). I don’t know if you’d like this idea/concept, but I thought it’d be very cute. I just love the trope of a Casanova finding their soul mate, and having to fix all the damage they’ve caused themselves by their own consequences. Cause it really is a self conflict, and great for character growth arcs. (I also just wanna be spoiled/doted on endlessly by a man who’s capable to throw hands literally and figuratively 24/7 to protect me). Thanks 🪭 —anonymous
hmmm, a bit -too- overdetailed for me to write this one since i like some breathing room to apply my own spins. tbf, it sounds like you already got it started! all you needed to do is to write it~if you write this one, link me! i wouldn't mind reading it and supporting fellow writers <3
while it is -my- au, i especially love seeing what it inspired in others and see their interpretations of it! while the worldbuilding remains mine (STILL chewing on starting a book/series on it someday, but the thought of publishing anything is scary af), it's literally just (semi-realistic) furries mingling with humans with extra history/political dramas included.
so, as long as you keep your worldbuilding somewhat different and source the inspiration to me, have at it. write your own beastfolk world!
anyway, on the finer details (for my AU anyway), as long as those humans are 'beastfolk-owned' and not green card/independent humans, they're essentially viewed as property to do whatever with albeit with responsibilities to ensure their well-being. as long as they're fed and have open access to water, have sufficient shelters, are clean, and their health is regularly checked, their owners can do whatever they want, really. the court won't interfere as long as the humans are safe and healthy—and mind you, the beastfolks are very slow on the uptake about the mental health, less so with their humans'.
that said, this can also depend greatly on what region they're in. some areas have far more human rights than others, being more liberal, while others may be more conservative and views humans as, well, livestock, essentially. humans in these places sometimes have the same rights as actual animals (if they're lucky). that said, the more rural it is, the fewer rights the human pets have.
of course, money DOES talk too.
so, you can just easily say that your characters are either in one of those conservative regions—or have shady connections and/or have an insane amount of money where the laws would just look the other way. just don't make it public and you're good to go, pretty much.
auctions would probably be a common sight in certain black markets, depending on where you are and when you are on the timeline. the zoo breakout to the early post zoo eras sees many of those events. on the most parts in the later era, those auctions are then transformed into whole new events entirely (aka, sports), which is the logical next step since they used to be the aftermath for when the bidding was ending in an outright war between several bidders and was used to solve the issue. instead of bidding, you'd complete for the human you wanted (i'm not clear at how the human would end up there yet since i don't feel any reputable shelter would align with those events for the 'adoption war' or that the adoption is the only way. still debating on this--in any case, the darling ends up there when there are more than two beastfolks fighting over them) and prove your worth while treating the unfortunate human like a rat bait (see: the maze headcanon i wrote a while ago—and am planning to write a whole piece of it to properly thank a very kind supporter when i'm able. some details had been changed since then, but it mostly still hold up).
in a lot of ways, the auctions were rather kinder to the humans as they wouldn't be put in outright danger right then. :/ the (new) spectator sports, such as the maze race, exploits multiple legal loopholes, since they involve no money (not outright anyway) as the auctions were (publicly) banned for "unregulated monetary transactions and the unpredictability of bid outcomes".
if anything, a good amount of these sports are...purely for "adult entertainment", if you get what i'm implying. ahem. the laws are actually pretty behind regarding the 'adult content/sports', especially with the open access of internet around then on that timeline. the large part of that had to do with encouraging the beastfolks to procreate with the humans though, so any form of sex between both races are simply not regulated outside the acceptable age range and limitations on physical violence/abuse and this includes the "entertainment" aspect.
it's fucked, but that's how they gets away with such things.. i'm rambling, but this can be a good alternative for you to think about too, to add on that extra drama flare and to further traumatize the human.
this is a super cute idea though and i sincerely hope you'll expand it yourself if you can! this is a very nice starting point too, if you're not used to writing. as for me, i'm not sure i can write all of this for you unfortunately, since i tend to go TOO long on just one scene and i have multiple ideas i wanna work on as well, aha. but you did give me room to talk the worldbuilding to help expand similar events like your idea so thank you for that. i can most definitely tell you that your poor fella is definitely not an isolated example.
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Apparently penguins kidnap other penguins’ children to try and raise as their own. Was watching nature utube vids on this and it’s so sad! The desire to be a parent is so intense for some couples that they’ll take away another couple’s baby! How’d this play into your beast verse? What measures would government and organizations take to help combat this extreme phenomenon? And think about being a human parent and having your Penguin spouse come back with a random baby 💀💀💀 Even worse is if you’re in a Penguin community and have to fight off other penguins casually when you have your baby. On the streets, home break ins, etc. —anonymous
ngl featheredfolk (penguins are flightless but they're still birds and have feathers still so they count as one) is a bunch of odd birds with cultures other beastfolks often struggle to understand, especially with the dramas that often follow. children theft in general with the featheredfolks is complicated and tends to only involves the similar peers to sort it out, because outsiders (humans included, if not one of 'theirs' via being the spouse or the child/ren) would just get frustrated with their fucked logic to the point of being angry about it.
so, no, penguins wouldn't be the only birds that deal with this mannerism, but is the most common one to do so.
that said, they tend to have big enough noggins not to involve anyone who isn't a featheredfolk (and to an extent, wingedfolk), because they're still mostly prey in nature. skittishness towards the predator kind is basically ingrained in their dna.
but that's not to say such incidents never happened though! usually, it only happens when the community is actually quite small, that they have to 'outsource' to another beastfolk. it's a very dangerous thing to do though, since beastfolks are naturally very overprotective of their youngs. in cases where they do succeed with the kidnapping and escapes unscathed, it normally doesn't take long before the one they took the child from to track them down due to using their superior senses.
it's 50/50 on how it may end though and the laws would still side with the victims regardless of the outcome. hopefully, someone else would call the laws first to deal with such matters though and to calm the angry parent/guardian.
that said, i do imagine that the government would get around this annoying instinct by advertising adoptions as another option from the featheredfolk's early age in their school. they'd push it so much that the featheredfolk tends to feel like they were being singled out for it too.
...honestly, i'm not even sure how to answer this one fully. i should treat this as a serious question with a serious answer, but i can't.
the featheredfolks are legit viewed as the clowns of the beastfolk world already because of how...simpleminded most of them can be (not a bad thing!) 😭and now this. the birdbrains....still, i hope this somewhat answers your question(s)...?
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Maybe I’m just blind and stupid, but did you touch up on beastfolk courtship rituals for some species? Ex- Birds may decorate, dance, or sing to court another. Hooved/fanged folk may literally fight each other to get rights to begin courtship with x. I’m just so curious to see what animal behaviors transfer to your universe! :) —anonymous
uhhhh, i don't think i really expand on those yet, no! the 'traditional' courtship rituals are more commonplace in the past than the 'modern' era, tbf, if between beastfolk and humans.
if it's just between two (or more) beastfolks, then yeah, 'traditional' courtship rituals are common.
in the present, it's a common understanding that the humans may not always understand their actions, so the beastfolk tends to adapt the best they could for 'the best of both worlds' kind of ritual—sometimes to the extreme mean though (lol).
for example, with the featheredfolks, for being a species with brittle bones, they're rather sturdy so they're often happy just living in a large treehouse and staying steady no matter the weather and season. it's more like an old cabin, with a lot of drafts. but, the thing is, neither (or more, i don't judge those in the poly relationships lol) would care, because the one doing the courting built it just for their love interest—and later built it better together for their upcoming new family members.
but for a featheredfolk genuinely interested in a human, would have to outright learn how to build a modern house—and that is far more complicated than just putting together a log cabin in the tree. they're very adaptive folks though and if they're sincere about the human, they'd go that far to at least attempt to build the foundation single-handedly. thankfully, the bird community is often tight-knit, so others would step in once the basic foundation is done and rally in.
(unlike our irl, everyone in that AU can at least afford some ways to build their own home and not be buried in the debts for the rest of their life. this is mainly because some specific beastfolks having an instinctive needs to build, that the common government would offer to offset some of the costs to abate those instincts from turning destructive.)
in their cases, even if the courting failed, the featheredfolk learned and can actually apply it to their lifeskill/career path/etc. for birdbrains, you'll see a lot of them in the engineering and architecture fields. (funny how that works!)
as you pointed out, yes, hoovedfolk and fangedfolk are more violent with their courting, but that's generally only in the cases where the love interest have more than one (alike) suitor vying for their affection. i'm not really sure how common that is in the more liberal areas tbf, but i do imagine it's a daily thing in the conservative/rural regions since those usually have a lot of, hm, predominant 'single-species' community? sorry, i'm not really sure how to word it.
since strength is what they consider their worth and humans rarely understand the point of physical violence, they'd probably show off what they're capable of instead—from lifting a car to carrying all the groceries at once for the human they're interested in. endurance too, so if the human is into, say, a sport or likes to run, they'd compete to show off just how good they are with either (though, i do like to think they'd carry their human on their back while running five more miles when the human gets tired--just to say, 'look at me! i'm not even tired yet and i'm carrying you!'). unlike the featheredfolks, fangedfolk and hoovedfolks are much milder about their courting.
whiskeredfolks are much more sly, but they like to show off how much they can provide (which is also something fangedfolk likes to do, but the former is often more subtle). usually involving money (and management) and ordering things their human hadn't realized they needed yet. things like that. they really likes to bring home food too, lol. since they can't exactly show off their hunting skills and bring home a bloodied deer carcass, providing is the next best thing with their human love interest.
there's more, but i'll stop here, but their courting rituals for their humans are basically 'modernized', with some species (obviously and hilariously so) trying harder than others.
tbf, parts of the birds' rituals were inspired by that tumblr meme on 'if men were like birds'. can't find that now though.
hope this answered you some?
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Question:Revius and Zedrik- What’s family life with them now if you were to have 2 children (1 from each)? Just wondering how dynamics would change, what the children’s personalities would be like, etc. Sea Witch (octo man)- Can we have babies with him? And if we did would it be a multiple pregnancy since female octopuses (I know we are a modified human) technically lay hundreds of eggs. And how would family life be from there out? —anonymous
hm, i can't comment on the childrens personalities (and any other details, really) since that's kinda something i leave to the readers to decide.
honestly, both revius and zedrik would fall deeper in 'love' with their darling for enduring both of those difficult pregnancies, that they're rather clingy to them more so than to each other. though, granted, both knew how capable each other would be so it's more on how 'frail' their darling really is in comparison. zedrik is more openly emotional than revius is though, but revius is certainly more of the nagging type like a strict, doting mom might be. personally, i feel they'd butt heads more often after their children are born, (but never to the point of separating [imo anyway, they'd been together for some times before they decided to...'pursue' the darling]), because of how different their parenting styles were.
let's just say that cerelos' darling has an easier time wrangling with the emperor than their darling did with those two.
otherwise, they're both pretty devoted as fathers. i do imagine their kids would've been confused by their upbringings a bit though due to, again, differing parenting styles. the darling does their best though! but it's kinda hard to raise children double, triple your size lol
as for the sea witch, that's implied! i wanted to let the reader to decide on their own if they're going to have kids with him or not, rather than outright branding 'breeding kink' on the piece. but, yes, there'd be oviposition going on, had you wanted to imagine that storyline.
not sure if i understood you about the multiple pregnancies though, so i'll refrain from answering that one. instead, yes, the darling would probably carry multiple eggs and, well, egg laying. i do imagine the sea witch would've found a way to make that not at all a painful process (probably quite the opposite, tbf).
as for the family life, i'm...not at all sure. i'll leave that for you and other readers to decide. i honestly see the sea witch just enjoying the pregnancy, because to him, his darling is now ruined and marked with his seed (or, eggs). afterward? not sure if he'd enjoy the fatherhood too much, especially with multiple 8-legged kids running about.
he might be an excellent father
or he might genuinely be a shitty one.
his personality is kind of confusing in that regard, so i'll just let yall to make that call and we'll go from there.
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I've really gotten into your beastfolk universe but I want to ask: Does adoxi exist within that universe or is he in a separate universe? —anonymous
nope! he's too human-looking to be a beastfolk--and is too healthy, pretty, and (mostly) sane to be a hybrid. thats why hes not in the beastfolk masterlist.
initially, he's from his own universe, where humans are living in ignorance of the existence of inhuman beings like adoxi, but i've been chewing on the possibly of him being a descendant of my other character, the cursed god. it'd explain why he's looking fairly human yet not (the 6 arms isn't genetically inheritable fyi, since the priest ripped them off from unfortunate souls to replace the ones he lost).
but that's only me chewing on it and isn't 'official' yet, since there are couple details that wouldn't make sense (but is workable). still thinking about it.
hope this answered!
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God I love how you write snakemen like Adoxi and Valerius. They act like bastards but good lord I would get on my knees for them so fast! —anonymous
hee~snakes are so fun to write, ngl. imagining being wrapped around in his coil is a guilty pleasure. glad you're enjoying my depictions! <3
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there's a few more, but they're requests i'm hoarding in my inbox for now lol but man who let me talk??? anyway, sorry that i took a minute to answer your asks hhhh life just keeps on happeningggg. sighs. anyway, hope yall are doing well and as always, my inbox is open for (mostly) anything. <3 love ya~and take care of yourself!
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jjnonken · 6 months
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Been a while since I've posted. I've decided I hate Facebook again and for now I'm letting off steam here.
I said before that I'd deleted my long rant and just stuck to a mini-rant. Well, today I'm posting a long rant. Fair warning: This is a rant.
As far as I can tell, there's no good news about the Borderlands movie. They've changed Commander Knoxx's character to be Atlas's daughter instead of General Knoxx, so I guess she'll be Commander Atlas now. That... doesn't matter. Of all the issues I have with this movie, whose daughter she is is probably the least important. Actually, it's not an issue. Her EXISTENCE is an issue, but not which NPC is her parent. Atlas isn't even an NPC, it's just a gun manufacturer, presumably named after its founder. We never see the founder(s) nor, as far as I can remember, hear any backstory. I'm not sure which problem they were trying to solve by the rename.
First problem: We do have to rescue Lilith, Athena, and one other who I won't mention due to spoilers. I can only think of those three. Lilith tells you to kill her if you can't save her... "Better dead than a damsel." Athena engineers her own rescue; you're just the muscle. So there's kind of a dearth of damsels in this franchise. The movie's premise is that Commander uh... Atlas?... needs to be rescued. So, right. Damsel in distress. Kind of immediately contradicts the lore of Borderlands, who has strong women who generally don't need rescuing.
Second is: why General Knoxx's er, I mean, Atlas's daughter? She's a new character. It's like BORDERLANDS ISN'T CHARACTER-RICH ENOUGH, we have to add more just to get the plot started.
Edit: She still shows credited as Commander Knoxx in my web search, including on IMDB. I saw Atlas in the last article I saw on the movie. It's possible it was simply mistaken. I note parenthetically that Knoxx works for Atlas Corporation, and the DLC he's in is Atlas-heavy. Could just be a mistake. Edit to the edit: The Wikipedia article premise mentions her as Atlas's daughter. But she's named Knoxx. I'm fucking confused; which is she?
Next: They have Kevin Hart playing Roland. Kevin Hart is a comedian. Roland is a serious, somber, straightforward guy who never jokes and never laughs, or even smiles. Any humor that happens in relation to him works because it plays off his sober sincerity.
Roland: Oh good, you're not dead. Lilith: That's his way of saying "Hi". Roland: Sorry. Hi.
Why do they need a stand-up comedian to play Roland? Either Hart is trying to branch out and do some serious acting, or... they're making a comedy.
OK, Cate Blanchett is doing Lilith. I don't know if she's the best choice, but I don't know who else I'd recommend. I guess I'm OK with that.
As for Tannis... I love Jamie Lee Curtis, but she's a scream queen that also does comedies. Tannis isn't FUNNY, she's TRAGIC. Again, there's humor, but it plays off her personality, which is informed by her severe social awkwardness. (She's pretty much coded autistic. I don't know if it's canon.) No doubt the trauma she's suffered has exacerbated any existing personality deficits. Or caused new ones. Can Curtis do a sober Tannis? I mean, play her seriously, not deadpan. I don't know. Again, I don't think she's meant to -- this movie is looking more like a comedy every day. Could be worse, but I'm not sure I'd pick her.
Next, we have Claptrap, who is introduced as "The wise-cracking robot" and played by... Jack Black, a comedic voice actor. Thing is, Claptrap does not crack wise. He's hilarious, but that's because, similarly to Roland and Tannis, the game plays off his naive sincerity. He's funny because he's so serious, but clueless. I haven't memorized every line in the entire franchise enough to instantly recall everything that every claptrap robot has said, but as far as I can remember, Claptrap has told MAYBE three jokes on purpose. One is self-referential, spoken by a claptrap who is supposed to be programming the game: "Borderlands? More like Memelands, am I right?" One is spoken right after a hatch is automatically locked, trapping you in the first map: "I hear that getting eaten by bullymongs isn't such a bad way to go." Was that one a deliberate joke? Don't know, so that's my "maybe." And the third is from a side mission called The Iceman Cometh. It's a moderately silly pun that any 10-year-old would be proud of. When you (as a character) don't react, he then EXPLAINS THE JOKE. When you still don't react, he LECTURES YOU on the nature of humor. TWICE. Naive sincerity, not cracking wise. So again, this suggests the movie being a comedy.
So, we have two of the four vault hunters from the first game, Lilith and Roland. The roles of Mordecai and Brick are interesting, in that THEY AREN'T THERE. Why?
Tiny Tina is. She's a psychotic young teen with a penchant for explosives. She's got a connection to Brick, who -- for some reason -- isn't in the movie. She's not the kind of person who needs a bodyguard -- she's the kind of person against whom YOU need a bodyguard. I only bring this up because... ... Krieg is her bodyguard in the movie. Why? I already mentioned her connection to Brick. Krieg doesn't have a connection to Tina, he has a connection to Maya. I don't know when this movie is supposed to take place in the Borderlands timeline, but if Lilith is retired, it'll be between the first and second. Possibly around the time of the Pre-Sequel. We don't see Krieg until BL2, where he's added as the last playable character after the original four plus Gaige. So the timeline doesn't make sense and Krieg's connection to Tina doesn't make sense and Krieg being Tina's bodyguard doesn't make sense. I don't know anything about the actors, I may look them up and try to watch some of their stuff.
Tina doesn't show in the game until BL2, but there's no reason to think she hasn't been around since Borderlands, we just haven't seen her. (But only after the events of BL:PS, since it's Jack's slag experiments on Tina's parents that kill them and drive her into being a vengeful little psychopath.) But Krieg doesn't show up until he becomes a vault hunter? OTOH until then he was living as a psycho... probably on Pandora. So I suppose the timeline might be OK, technically. I'll give them that one. But I still object to the Tina/Krieg connection.
Gina Gershon as Mad Moxxi: Gina is an attractive woman, doesn't have Moxxi's curves, and she's 61. She's pretty hot-looking but I'm not sure she really fits the character, physically. Can she do Moxxi's va-va-voom? Don't know.
Charles Babalola: I don't know him. I try not to get upset at race lifts; I'm used to Sir Hammerlock being the "great white hunter" stereotype, but I suppose it doesn't hurt anything if he's black. At least he's British. This is a weak protestation at most. EDIT: Several people have pointed out that he's canonically black, which I never noticed. Well, OK then, that one's on me.
Bobby Lee plays Larry. He's another stand-up comedian. There sure are a lot of those for a serious film, eh? Also, who the fuck is Larry?
Ryann Redmond as Ellie: nobody's going to match Ellie's unrealistic proportions, but Ryann seems like a reasonable choice physically; basically, you just need a plus-sized woman who can act. I don't know anything about her acting but I presume she's competent, at least. Ellie is a smartass, so wise-cracking from her is welcome. So how come they cast a stand-up comedian as Roland but a serious actress as Ellie? The cognitive dissonance is making my brain cramp.
And Eli Roth has left the project and declared that he does not want credit for his writing. THAT bodes well.
This is supposed to be canon. Canon my ass. This is a TRAVESTY. EDIT: Somebody said it's not supposed to be canon. I read that it is. I'll try to dig up the reference when I get a minute. EDIT 2: Sorry it took me so long, I was busy procrastinating. Now, in my memory, when the first announced the movie they claimed it would be "true to Borderlands", but of course that's changed. I must have skimmed over the more recent "canon" phrasing, sorry. Apparently it's changed to "canon for the Borderlands Cinematic Universe", which is not the same as canon to the games. To me that's seems a bit disingenuous, considering that as far as I can tell, the Borderlands Cinematic Universe consists of one unfinished movie. (And calling it a "Borderlands Cinematic Universe" also seems a bit conceited since their first -- and so far only -- entry has been in Production Hell for 9 years and hasn't even finished.) So my apologies for getting the "canon" claims wrong, but I'm still unhappy and I think they're making excuses. They've taken an Action Movie script, grabbed some names from the Borderlands franchise, and pretended that the result is a Borderlands movie. They did that with Sly Stallone and the first Judge Dredd movie, remember? (Maybe you don't, but I was a fan of the comics. Fortunately the second movie was much, much better.) This makes me think of Stallone's Judge Dredd. (Also the anime version of the Lensman, but that one's pretty obscure.)
Anyway, I have more, but I think I've said what I need to. I may watch the movie out of morbid curiosity. I'm not going to dislike it out of spite, I'm not that hateful. I'll try to give it a chance. I just don't like the odds.
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Otis B Driftwood x Wife!Reader || Oneshot
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Plot: *This is the same world as This oneshot (The one where you visit him in jail and find out how Foxy can break him out. There are details that are in that one that I changed for this one, though, like how exactly you and Otis got married). Anyway anyway- This is 3 times that Otis calls you. He’s truly in love with you, in one of them.
Now read through and guess which one it is.
Warnings: Otis, Baby, talk of dicks, death of canon character, gore mentions, etc.
the first time
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“Hello??” Who could be calling you at this time of the night?? Why did you even pick up? You’re in no state to talk to people, its nearly bedtime! Giving a sigh, you plop down onto your bed, ankle under your butt and the other hanging just a few inches off the carpet.
“… “At first its only breathing that you hear. Heavy, gross breathing so close to the phone that you can’t help imagining the feeling of whoever’s breath directly in your ear. It’s truly an unpleasant sound, and gets your heart racing. You’re about to tell whoever-it-is that this is not funny and goodnight- when there’s a giggle.
A high, girly sound that surely does not come from the breather. You feel for sure, like the breather is a man. Besides, the giggle is muffled, and a little farther away, and it flutters over the top of the breathing- they happened at the same time. So they couldn’t be from the same person.
You’re stretching your lips downwards into a frown, deeply bothered by all this and wondering what the hell is happening- when the giggler speaks up. You can’t hear her fully, she’s too far away from the phone and too quiet, but whatever she says is lyrical… creepy. Like a fricken dolly. You manage to catch words like mama and wife but you only feel more concerned, and unnerved.
“… Hi??” You greet again, forcefully- forcing every bit of fortitude you have into your voice. You want to scare them off, make them hang up on you. After all the last thing you need is for idiot prank callers like this to think you’re an easy scare; That’s just asking for trouble. They’ll never stop fucking calling. “Didja need something???”
“Heheh… maybe, bitch. Watcha got??” The voice startles you, responding all of a sudden. And it’s certainly no kid or dumb teenager, either, which is concerning. Your heart skips a beat, thinking about how to respond.
“Uh- “
“’Uhh’- ‘uhh’- ‘uhh’,” He taunts you, letting out a nasty sounding cackle along with woman with him. “You know, you’re not great at phone calls lady.”
Your face is red, your body rigid as you’re embarrassed by the creepy phone call. “I’m sorry, who the hell are you?” You snap, fingers not holding the phone digging into the edge of your mattress.
“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know? All you gotta know, is I’m right outside.” … Everything slows down around you, it seems when you hear that. You carefully get up off the bed, as silently as possible, and look out the window. “And I have a gnarly fucken machete so don’t go and do anything stupid like call any pigs over- in fact, why don’t you stay on the phone, with me? Just while we find a way into your crappy little home.”
“… A-and, uh… “Still peering out the window for any sign of movement, though you’re thoroughly rattled by the strangers words, you take a deep breath and straighten your back a bit; For confidence. Because fuck, do you need it now. “… Why should I believe you? You could be a filthy liar. You’re probably sittin’ in some basement jacking off to this.”  
“Ha ha, well I aint really the lyin’ type, bitch. I’ll give you the nasty, ass-ugly truth! Like, ah, for example- “You can practically hear the big, fowl grin spread across the man’s face. “Those blue pyjama’s you got on- they’re not flattering.” As your heart sinks down to your feet like a cold, heavy stone and you touch at the bottom of your blue pyjama top in total horror, the man gives another off-putting chuckle. “… why dontcha take ‘em off? Gimmie a show, before we- what?!? No, Baby, let me the fuck go. I’m not gonna- not her, okay? Next-fucken-time, alright? Okay?? Now- “Suddenly he’s talking to whoever’s with him, and you’re terrified but you take the opportunity to leave the window - hoping that he’s looked away from it to snap at her, - and slip out of your bedroom. You manage to lock your back door while the too creeps bicker.
“You said that about the lasssst oneeee Otis! Just take this one! You know mama’ll be happy!”
“I don’t fucken care! I’m not getting’ married to this bitch!”
“Yes! You! Are, Broo!”
“Shut the fuck up, you’re not the boss of me. Go break into the fucken house already. Go.”
As you’re just reaching for the front door to make sure its already locked, the two stop their arguing on the other end of the line. It makes you feel cold, and worried. Straightening up and holding the phone to your ear with both hands, you take a look around you- hoping to god that they aren’t inside already.
Your heart’s pumping in your ears and suddenly the phone clicks in your ear- he hung up. As you continue to peer around your immediate person, just waiting for something to be out of place- for one of them to jump out at you- you dumbly forget to arm yourself. So when a gangly feral man with long, scraggly hair and a damp red flannel rushes at you and grabs you, you just scream.
You try to throw the phone hard in his face but he catches your wrist and yanks both arms behind your back; wrapping one hand around both your wrists. “Sto- “
“It’s too late for that, cutie-pie!~ “ A woman appears next- pretty as hell but with eyes so utterly crazy that they actually make you wanna shrivel back into the man. “But don’t worry!!~ You get to live, you lucky duck!… actually you get to be part of the family! How great’s that right??”
Then a grizzly-looking machete with dried blood on it and who-knows-what else, too, caresses the delicate skin of your throat- the man’s horrible, hot breath really in your ear, now. “… scream, and it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. Trust me, I’m itching to use this thing on you- so don’t fucken test me.”
“… we’re gonna be sisters, babe!~ I never had me a sister, before~~ “ The girl wrenches your attention away again from the man, picking up a piece of your hair and twisting it around her finger. She flashes you the most childlike, bright-eyed smile you’ve ever seen on a grown woman and holds up her other hand in front of your face- the pointer finger and the index finger curled around eachother. “We’re gonna be like this.”
What… the fuck… is she talking about? Suddenly the man whirls you around to face him and you get to focus on all his… gross-ness, in full-focus. When he gives a grin doubly as fowl as you imagined he would have and rears in close enough for you to smell him utter horror at what’s happening, what the girl means, dawns on you. She called him her brother- she was saying their mama wanted him to find a wife- you and her are going to be sisters-
He grabs your face; long strong, grubby fingers tight on your jaw to hold your head still and close.
His terrifying eyes, devils’ eyes you think, leer at you from head to foot and it actually feels as if he’s taking his nasty, diseased tongue and running it all over you. Over your skin and your clothes- everywhere. “… yeah. I guess you’ll fucken do.”
the second time
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Your phone rings while you’re going through all your books one night, deciding which to keep and which to send to away to the op shops and it’s a really terrible and heartbreaking process, so you pick up the phone- any excuse to put off deciding which books to get rid of is a good one.
Though… when you immediately recognise the voice on the other end of the line you do give thought to hanging up and getting on with it. Surely throwing out some books will be less painful than a conversation with the husband you just helped break out of prison. He can only be calling to give you grief, you think, considering all the things he could have to say. ‘He’s been caught and they’re coming for me’, or ‘He needs a place to hide out so he’s bringing his crazy siblings and himself to stay at my place’, or something equally as unacceptable.
Sighing though instead of hanging up, you pick up a few books you know you don’t want anymore and put them away neatly in the big cardboard box you swiped from work and wrote ‘Op Shop’ on. “… how’s freedom treating you, sweetheart?”
The word comes out sickly sweet off your tongue, and it makes him chuckle- the sound rough and asthmatic, now. It’s been a long time since you heard the ghastly thing for the first time, and he has not taken care of himself or his lungs since then.
Though… he did look good in prison. Or- better. Better! Better than usual, you mean. Which really isn’t saying much! … Considering he usually looks like a Templeton the Rat kinnie after several decades held in Azkaban prison, typically.
“Aww, pretty good honey, pretty good… thanks for that, by the way.”
Oh no- “Thanks for nothing. “You snap immediately, tucking away some more books into the box a little too roughly. “I didn’t do a damn thing. That was all Foxy. In fact- I have no idea what you mean, who you are, or that this conversation ever happened. Kapeesh?” A.K.A- Plausible deniability- kapeesh??
“Yeah, yeah, I got ya… listen,” Good, he gets it. But you dread to know what he wants to tell you, now.
“… Oh god, is it another woman?” A little smirk flickers at the corners of your lips. It’s so easy to tease him when he’s not within your general vicinity holding a knife, and you love it. It’s definitely dumb, and cowardly, but… you were forced to marry the lovechild of a sewer rat and a garden gnome- you’ll take what you can get. It’s like therapy. “If so… well, it’ll be hard, but… I guess I release you from our marriage. I’ll cry for weeks, but, your happiness is the most important thing to m-”
“I’m standin’ right outside your ugly fucken house, bitch.”
That wipes the smugness right off your cheeks and you look up and around, to the nearest window. “What?” … a trickling of evil cackling through the phone alerts you to the fact that he was lying, and your heart beats loudly in your chest as you calm back down. “… damnit… “
“Ahh… You are gullible! But no. I’m far, far away right now, which has gotta suck for you- we all know how much you like choking on my wrinkly old dick. Aanyway- “Eugh, the thought of Otis’ ‘wrinkly old dick’ in any context makes you stick your tongue out and shake your head - especially when you hear Foxy laugh and say ‘She does like that’ in the background, - as you get back to organising the books while you listen. “I’m just callin’ to let ya know I’m gonna be outta the country for a while. Gonna be in Mexico til the heat dies down.”
“Uh… “Surprised at this, you pause with a couple of books halfway to the bottom of the box. Why is he telling you this? He’s never told you anything before about what he’s doing or where he’s going to be. This… is uncharacteristically considerate. “Good thinking?... “Well, not for Mexico… but… what else can you say back to this?
“Yeah, I just thought my little wife should know where I am~ Just in case she misses me and needs a quick fix any time… my fat cock’s gonna be just a quick hop over the border, after all.”
“Uhuh,” Now you roll your eyes, setting the books down before straightening up on your knees with an obviously fake, drawn-out sigh full of despair. “… I think I’ll survive.”
You can hear the grin in his voice again. “If you say so.”
"Okay." He always has to have the last word, you think, rolling your eyes. “Bye, freak.”
The phone clicks, leaving you alone again. “Goodbye, Otis. It was nice talking to you.” You say to empty air, shaking your head and putting down the phone. What an asshole.
the last time- Otis POV
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“Uhh- uh- fuck, that’s a lotta blood, man.”
“He’ll be fine! We’ve been through worse!”
“I don’t think so, Baby, he’s got a pipe through his fucken chest. I don’t think he’s makin’ it outta this one.”
“Shut the fuck up, he’s got to!”
“Can you both shut your goddamn faces and hand me my fucken phone?... “ Otis actually speaking, surprises both Foxy and Baby. They thought he was unconscious, what with his eyes being so heavily closed and his breathing so very shallow… Foxy takes off his hat, running a hand stressfully through his hair as Baby drops to her knees beside her bloody mess of a brother.
“You’re okay!”
“No, I’m not fucken okay.” His eyes are still closed, in fact his face barely moves except to grimace at the pain- but his voice is plenty emotive. “I’m a fucking shish kabob. I’m dying right now. So gimmie my dying wish damnit- find me my damn phone.”
A crestfallen look slips onto Baby’s face, and she doesn’t move, but Foxy gets to work quickly- searching through al the mess scattered all over the crappy motel room floor. It was messy before, but after those fucken robbers came in and shot up the place, leaving only the sharp tube they ripped off the wall in the bathroom stuck in Otis’ chest and the rubbish on the ground, the place looks more like a bomb went off than ever.  Otis manages to crack his eyes open, and finds the strength in him to roll his eyes at the sight of Baby just staring at him. “… yeah. Great. Take your time… not like I’m dying or anything… “Here, he coughs- and blood spurts out down in his chin and his beard and the front of his grotty yellow shirt. Some even sprays onto Baby’s face, but she does not move. She looks frozen solid. “Aghh… “
“Aha! Here it is. Otis- ” Foxy finally locates the crappy burner, a flip phone of all things in this day and age, after a few moments of frantic search, and hands it down to Otis who very weakly reaches up to take it.
“Oookay… what was Y/N’s fucken number again??... 107… 834… somethin’… “
“107~ 834~ 522~ “ Baby wakes up, slightly, turning her head a little to look at Otis in the face again as he looks at her- eyebrows raised, like, are you sure? She nods. “That’s her number.”
“Thanks.” Foxy’s eyes widen, turning to look down at Baby. Did Otis just thank you?? Fuck, he’s really dying. Slowly, struggling, Otis puts in the numbers and then sighs; Holding the phone to his ear and closing his eyes again. Just waiting. “… I swear, if this bitch doesn’t pick up her fucken phone right now… “
*Click* “Otis? I’m assuming this is you. What the hell do you want?”
“… hi, baby.”
“Hi. Now- what do you want?”
“Now, now… “Another cough. “Who says I want something?”
He can picture you rolling your eyes right then, leaning against your kitchen counter maybe, or on the couch with your TV remote in your free hand. He hears you sigh gently on the other end, and he grins. “Alright- what’s up then?... It’s been a while since your last call.” Yeah, where he asked you to send him some food and alcohol- a year and a half ago. He can see why you think he might be up to something. “Are you okay?”
“Yeahhh, I’m fine… Just wanted to hear your voice~”
He knew you would take it as a tease, but he had to say it. And the sound of your scoff slash laugh is a good one, so who cares if you believe him or not. “Ookay… “ He hears you take a deep breath, then, and he knows what’s coming. It’s definitely part of why he hasn’t called you in so long. Because he cant force you to be with him so far away and he cant go back into the US- and you’re smart, so you know that. “Look, Otis, I think this should be your last call to me.”
“Oh… you do, huh?” He’s just humouring you, his voice weak though you don’t seem to notice. He’s going to die in a couple of minutes, so why not? It doesn’t matter to him if you go on thinkin’ you’re a couple- or whatever you’ve been. He just don’t want you to know he’s dying. Or he’s dead. He doesn’t want any sentimental crap out of you. Not now. He thinks he’d die faster having to hear you pull a fucken I’ll miss you, out of your cute ass.
“Yes. I do. Our marriage, if you wanna call it that, was a mess from the start. Now it’s a phone call or an email every 6 months, and I- I wanna see someone.” That makes him wince. He wants to tell you to fuck off and die, but he wouldn’t mean it and to be fucking honest- he doesn’t want those to be his last words to you. “Someone nice.” Ugh… that gives him chest pain that has nothing to do with the pipe rammed in there.
“Heh… so, a fucken dimwit?... Someone with a tiny little needle pecker?”
You groan. “Otis!- “
“Fine. Go ahead. You’ve got my fucken blessing, or whatever.” Despite the curse, his voice is gentle- unresisting. You must be shocked because you don’t respond for a couple of minutes, and it makes him chuckle. “You still there Y/N?”
“… thank you.”
“No problem.” You have no idea. It really is no problem. After a few minutes, he aunt gonna be here. And its not like he’s gonna have to watch over you and see this shit, or anything. He’s made damn sure he’s going the other direction.
“So this is goodbye… “
“Yep.” … Okay. He’s starting to feel it. That fucken grim reaper is coming for him- right now.
“Okay… Goodbye, Otis.” Your voice is sweet, but he’s gotta go. “… I lov- “
“Bye.”
Then the phone slips out of his hand, covered in blood, and smashes on the ground.
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