trans people are stronger together. my irl best friend had one of their nephlings come out to him as gender non conforming, then finally felt comfortable to admit that she's a trans girl and she was ready to embrace it after seeing my friend come out as a trans guy. my friend was able to tell her that he could always just tell that she was always 'like him'. it took him coming out to give her that courage, and knowing that she has support in him, SOMEWHERE in her family. her knowing that she has support gave her the strength to be honest to and about herself.
this is the "point" of being trans. we are stronger together. when one of us comes out and loudly and proudly admits who we are, it gives others who are scared the courage to do the same, or at the very least, acknowledge internally who they are. not everyone has the ability to come out to others safely, but being there to give someone who can the courage to do so is a joy, a service, and an honor. even just by being who you are, you can inspire others to do the same, and give them the strength they wouldn't have been able to find otherwise.
So I should share some experiences from my first dose of injectable T because it was a bit scary and I want to soothe some fears because it was very difficult to find information about it online.
Before starting injections my doctor made me get a blood pressure cuff for home to track my blood pressure, because hypertension is a potential risk for anyone with higher levels of T in their system. I knew this, it was on all my informed consent paperwork, and I'd seen it online. I state this now, because apparently this is not common knowledge, and it really should be.
I got my first shot, 0.2mL, 40mg of T 4 weeks ago. Prior, I had been on the gel, but only applying every other day on one arm, so a very low dose that barely got my T levels out of the "female" range.
The shot went great, but later that afternoon I developed a headache near the back of my head/neck, and felt a bit... stuffy? Inflated? I went home and decided to check my blood pressure. Normally (prior to T) my blood pressure was quite low, usually between 100-110 over 70-80. You've probably heard " 120/80" as the typical normal range, and I was naturally significantly lower than that. So I was feeling... weird.
I went home from work and took my blood pressure that night, and it was 127/89. Now, for a 37 year old adult human, that's not a particularly alarming blood pressure. But mine was normally so low that popping up into a "slightly elevated but not alarming" range had a pretty strong effect on me.
I have an anxiety disorder, I should mention. It manifests a lot as hypochondria.
I might've... stressed out a little, which I'm sure didn't help my blood pressure. I tried calling the office but they were out for the evening. I took my blood pressure again awhile later, and it had gone down to 117, so I calmed down a bit.
The next morning my blood pressure was hovering in the teens, the office called back, and we discussed the continued readings I was getting and how it seemed to be under control now after the initial spike. The doctor contacted the nurse the next day and said spikes like this weren't unheard of, and that it hadn't spiked into danger territory, and as long as it was going down afterwards, everything was going to be fine.
And this was why he'd made me get the blood pressure cuff in the first place.
I tried finding help online for this the night it happened. I'm in a transmasc discord server but no one in there had even heard that T can increase blood pressure, which seemed wild to me since I've known about that from the moment I started looking into T.
On the second dose, I didn't notice as much of a spike; it did elevate again but it wasn't much. Third dose I just had yesterday and I noticed no major spike. My blood pressure is overall "higher" now than it was before starting T, but it's now hovering in the upper teens rather than being below 110, so that's still really healthy.
So yeah, that's my story. T injections can cause a spike in blood pressure within a day of the injection, it can elevate your resting blood pressure, and I'd recommend having a blood pressure cuff if you're starting injections. I'm glad my doctor told me to get one.
I went from straight girl to lesbian to straight guy to gay guy. So do I get an advancement now or something ?
Some correlations between my HRT with testosterone and some neurodivergent aspects/struggles.
(I made that one in German and did not translate it yet.)
- R is sensory problems - noise is far louder than before I started T. My sensory filters are very poor. I need to put conscious mental effort to "detangle sensory stimuli". The tactile sense/feeling touch and stings is reduced. (I feel far less if someone touches me. I do not even feel the needle of my insuline pump when I have to apply it - which I usually felt. (It felt awful and gave me meltdowns btw. So this is actually a good side-effect of this.))
- T is clumsyness problems (and my tendency to be ambidextrous) Left-right-distinction problems are included in this category as well.
- K is concentration/focus and hyperactivity problems
- S is speaking problems [primarily problems with phonetics, such as difficulty regulating speed, volume, clearness; ...sometimes also word finding difficulties due to overwhelming many ways how to convey the same message in all different kinds of ways (plus too many synonymes)]
- Sy is synaesthesia - sounds turn into sorts of function plots/fractals in my imagination. (Some techno is really like epileptic-seizure-inducing flashlights and I really hate it.) - additionally, this one makes it even more difficult to process visual as well as acoustic information simultaneously - before testo this problem was already present, but now it is really noticable.
- D is depression (primarily this category only has the symptom of low mood, hopelessness, severe sadness listed) > This one went away almost entirely throughout the months.
- The problem of processing spoken language and noise simultaneously is also worse. It's like my brain is like "only one task at a time...Please wait while we detangle this information knot clot... " (ohh, good pun-ny thought: It's like my mind needs to actively use fourier transform to detangle the information clot...)
Overall, I feel far far better under T, despite the increase of my "neurodivergent struggles". Some/many of the listed "problems" are rather interesting opportunities for me. Much has been tough, but the changes are helping me getting my life together. It feels like my neurodivergent "anomalies in cognitive processing" only got a bit amplified by HRT with testosterone. It is very interesting changes, but they appear and feel right.
these memories are like scars of my forever siblings— beautiful, radiant, and ever loving 🏳️⚧️🥰 small nyc + la photodump ✨ life this past month has been so magical I genuinely have never felt so alive until being surrounded by the genuine outpours of love from other queer folk 💕 . . . #trans #queer #lgbt #nonbinary #pride #ftm #transgender #hrt #alt #transman #model #transmasculine #transpride #altmodel #selflove #transmodel #asianmodel #nonbinarypride #transisbeautiful #transpositivity #transguy #selfmademan #vitamint #transmanofcolor #qtpoc #nyfw2022 #newyorkfashionweek #losangeles #lax #t4t (at New York - Los Angeles) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjD-p59vAqj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
Starting to feel better about expressing myself however the fuck I want.
I DID IT I DID IT I INJECTED MYSELF!!
LMAO I did it so fast too, even the nurse was shocked, I didn't hesitate at all just DID IT lol.
WOO I've "graduated" lol!
My top surgery results look like yours! I had a similar experience seeing results online that all have a similar appearance, so I was shocked at how swollen I was. I have a lot of stretch marks in the center of my chest from binding poorly when I first came out. I love my chest the way it is, and I'm so happy I came across your post. Thank you!
Ayy that makes me so happy to hear!! Yes people should def feel more comfy with the chests they end up getting in the end, even if you don't get areolas, or nipples, or the scars a little crooked... It's surgery and the results vary. :')