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borahaejenn · 2 years

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😭Dear Seokjin,😭

Ahhhhhh I came early for your birthday 🥳 YESSSSS! I get to be early for your birthday this year. I get to also properly wish you the best until you come back again.😊 I know there is a lot of stuff that is happening but today I want to talk about your birthday first and then I’ll catch up to everything coming up tomorrow lol I can’t wait for INDIGO and I shall catch up Hobi’s performance. I do wish to say congratulations to y’all for being honored with awards.💪✨ I get overwhelmed when there is a lot happening so I like to focus on one thing at a time before I get anxious in my mind lol I know I am late to seeing things every time but I like to enjoy many things that way. Hehe But before I go further today, FIGHTING JOONIE!💪I will listen to Indigo well!✨💙✨

First, 🎉HAPPY BIRTHDAY OUR WORLDWIDE 31 YEAR OLD HANDSOME SEOKJIN!🎉hehe thank you for honoring us all with another year of your presence. You are loved, I love you, and I am glad you are well in health, doing your best in mindset, and for doing well this past year. You are doing well and you did well, honey. Let’s honor that today. 🙏 For your birthday, it may not be a super happy time because it is near your departure, but let’s try to enjoy it even for a bit, I hope with what I say and post in many videos talking with you, that you can feel even an ounce of warmth and joy. Lol I want to be happy with ARMY, Bangtan, and you today. You encouraged me to do a mini mukbang with pizza this week lol I answer random questions I thought of and I just answer off the top of my head lol 😂 if you all can, please eat while you watch. Haha let’s eat together, baby!😁

Second, your first gift is two origami figures. 💝I won’t share what they are and I want to surprise you with the videos. But, I hope you love them. They were two that were challenging to me because there was a lot of pre-folding that had to be done to angle all the shaping correctly lol but it was fun and I did them one night while I was watching game plays. There is sentiment to them and I hope that comes across. Hehe this time I asked my sister what she thought when she first saw them and she finally said what I wanted to hear while getting her first impression. I think I won at life. 😂 I was like, “I finally mastered shaping it a bit” lmaoo I always ask her out of nowhere for her opinion and she never lies about how she feels. Lol so it makes it even more satisfying.

Third, Jin you are a savage lol it’s funny because I talk about sentiment in the videos but I am crying because of the comment you left in an ARMYs post just literally writing a letter of love. 😭it’s so funny. I can’t. I can see you like being sentimental but you speak the language differently lmao your love language is being unserious in moments of seriousness but with a hint of love through humor. It’s cute. Lol 😂 I can be “Jin, I love you. You make my heart happy. Jin you comfort me more than RJs fluff and RJ has some of the softest fluff in the world. “ lol and you might just say, “My character just got two link skills in MapleStory today, Jenn. But I didn’t get the ones I wanted.” Lol 😂

Fourth, for this year since you are going away for a bit, I wanted to do something different with photos I wanted to give to you for your day. Hehe we are going down memory lane and I brought photos from your past birthdays. I have all of the ones I did for every Bangtannie, but I wanted to bring yours up for your birthday this year because it is a special time. They are from 2018-2022 the last photos are the current ones hehe. I could only find those from those years and I didn’t add all of them just some from each of these years lol I say this in the videos but I wanted to bring back this feeling of gratitude and appreciation I have for you, for being a part of my life and in a sense making me feel comfortable and worthy to enjoy all those moments and ideas with you. You inspired all of those photos and looking back I am happy I got to do them and it is thanks to you.😇 This year's photos are in honor of what you inspire others to do. Because you inspire and move others and I will not let you go without telling you that today. 💜 You feel like you can aim for something with ARMY, well I feel like I can do anything with you and Bangtan too. The last photos are inspired by THE ASTRONAUT a bit. Haha The theme or imagery for it was that of you having a place to come back to because with ARMY, I will be waiting here patiently and holding your astronaut helmet for you until you can come back to take it back. 🥰 I had fun and the sun was serving visuals that day so I was glad it was sunny. I had fun. Hehe I hope you enjoy the photos and smile with me. :) I want you to.❤️I wanted to make it as simple and intuitive as possible because we all know you enjoy simplicity best😆 but with a hint of my warmth and smile. Haha

Fifth, let’s get into your weverse interview because I would like to talk about your words and points. Hehe I enjoy this segment a lot because I like jotting down quotes and this hits the spot, plus I get to learn a little more about y’all. 😉

-Let me point out that the homie who interviewed you, Myungseok Kang is lovely. I hope they are having a great day today lol these words, “what I’m trying to say is, he’s a really good person” and in regards to the demo version of Epiphany, “YOU CAN REALLY HEAR HOW YOU’RE IN A MORE COMFORTABLE VOCAL RANGE IN THIS VERSION, UNLIKE THE PREVIOUSLY RELEASED ONE.” You are a good person, you can feel it and see it instantly. You are a sweetheart, a very introverted, bashful at times, but a lively one. Lol 😂 with the demo version of EPIPHANY I felt the same. It just has a flavor that you can’t get elsewhere and you only hold the recipe to it. 👌 it’s so freaking good. I said that before and I still feel the same way about it. In the released version you get Jin of BTS in the demo version you get Seok Jin the vocalist. Two different ranges and both serve. 👏👏👏I would go out to eat with Jin of BTS, but I would share my non-potato fries with vocalist Jin. Lol I know you can’t have potatoes but I would make the fries happen one way or another, for vocalist Jin, yes. Lmaoo

-“…but that was the first time I was ever personally in a position to watch the other members perform together in person, and they looked cooler than anyone else to me.” Anyone who doubts your love for Bangtan over a birthday post should read this interview and here is PROOF. 😭 it never fails to amaze me how big you speak of Bangtan in many interviews and this one is not short of it. You can admire many people but there will always be those who you may see beyond that. The ones who make you sparkle inside. The ones you see yourself in the future with even when the future is not promised or certain. The ones who make you feel like you are their equals even if you may come up short at times. I felt that feeling in what you said here even because you felt down about not being able to perform at that time but Bangtan just lit something up in your eyes and it was dazzling. ✨

-“When you play games, sometimes you have to choose between playing DPS or playing tank. I felt like I was acting it as both DPS and tank at that concert.” You talked a lot of game this interview and I just want to take a minute to admire it. Lol this comparison is funny but it is valid and makes sense.😭

-“I felt really bad because I wasn’t able to perform for ARMY and sad for myself because of my injury, but in one sense it was a refreshingly unique experience that I’m not likely to ever have again.” That last part. The mindset. The thinking. Lol that’s hot. Instead of letting the thoughts consume you, you focused on something that you gained out of it. I like how you respected the timing for what it was and took it in like ARMY. You saw what we always saw and not everyone can see what ARMY sees. It was nice to hear you admit that. 💜

-“I tried to not be overwhelmed or I can’t do my job.” Same. Lol 😂 doing your best to not be overwhelmed is a freaking skill people don’t appreciate about themselves enough. Like you are one minute from tipping off the iceberg and keeping yourself afloat is a skill. Lol and other times you just want to give up and dive into the water and get K.O. by a killer whale but then you decide not to because that sounds painful. Lol the benefit of the doubt works strong because you are like 50/50 with trusting something will work out and other times you want to just let it crash and burn and see what happens but the will to just go forward works stronger if you are disciplined with it. Lol

-“I mean, it’s rare that just one person laughs alone. We all laugh together I was looking for that kind of mutual exchange, too.” 😭 this goes together with the idea that if we put all our embarrassment together it will become confidence. Because it is rare for just one person to be embarrassed when we all know the feeling just as much. Lol but, I love that we can laugh together even now over the smallest things. Laughter is love. When we can laugh together, we can be fools together, and we can certainly change our world together. 😌

-“The fact that he understood my situation and praised me for working hard anyway made me feel sorry and thankful at the same time.” This one on Hobi was so sweet. The fact that he stood there and said it to you in front of everybody showed us how he cared about your situation and knew how it was making you feel. That reassurance is hot and admirable. Hobi, the type to make sure you are okay and affirm it because he knows he will be next to you to make sure you feel okay. I dig it. 😭 I still remember the times you felt so good when Hobi praised your dancing because it was something that was weighing on you for a long time and y’all just helped each other out. It was a heartwarming moment. Hobi is a real one and always was. 🌈

-“They’re all very ambitious, but I think you could say they’re not that ambitious at the same time. They are extremely ambitious collectively as the group, but they set aside their personal ambitions sometimes, believing that the group comes first.” I like that you pointed this out because it makes even more of the moments and experiences Bangtan is creating on their own with ARMY today with their own projects and music, meaningful. Joonie talked about it before too and this adds to it. Y’all are steeping to that era where yes, the group comes first, but y’all individually come first too. If you can’t be in your own era, it will be hard to continue seeing that “we” and “us” aspect in the team. Establishing and honoring your “I” is also important.

-“There are some things you can do and some kinds of happiness you can only experience as a group.” Another point that I also heard Kook speak before as well. The way y’all are grateful for what you experienced and are able to experience today is very humbling. It reminds me of how at times we can take things for granted once we reach a certain spot in our lives and we get too comfortable not allowing ourselves to improve, change, or even be teachable. But, y’all show us that the work in oneself never stops and should not stop. There is gold in people who never stop learning and choose to allow themselves to still be teachable later down in life. There is no limit to learning as there is not a limit to how you can be thankful and show it, but there is a limit in choice and what you choose to do because you set the score no one else does and that can be the difference in you changing or staying stagnant. As a group, y’all chose to grow together not just in skill but also mentally, and look at how far y’all have come. The gold is still in y’all. ✨

-“I probably wouldn’t have any reason to do anything if it weren’t for ARMY.” I probably wouldn’t have any reason to do anything or change anything if it weren’t for Bangtan. We have another mutual exchange and I dig it. 😘

-“I would hate it if my character’s the only one whose stats don’t get buffed and stay the same when all the other characters get upgrades.” I still remember when I found out cheat codes for the sims 2 lmaoooo and I literally found a way to cheat the game and use my sim to live in another sims house and kick them out. Hahaha and also just the money cheat codes to get that car lol 😂 but, in real life that is not possible. I loved the sims because it taught me three things. One, you can have it all, but it ain’t everything until you find the people you really connect with.Lol at a young age I was in a game able to buy a car with a family and two kids that I had to raise while building a career and I’ve seen it all lmaooo I was over that life. My family had teens that I took to college and graduated and then they ended up married and I saw that all unfold. Lol Part of me thinks I had no goals as a teen in real life because I was feeling like I’ve been there and done that already and all because of a game I spent playing for hours each day.Lol The second thing it taught me, we are all characters made up of personalities we claim we are due to circumstances in our lives and sometimes we can’t control the circumstances but you can choose who you want to be. Lol the sims 2 had me building these sims with certain characteristics only for them to change over time as they had relationships with people, have families, build certain careers, and live in different places. It’s insane. Lol Third, Aliens are real lmaooooo it was awesome to live with them and have a family with one lol 😂 But, Jin I get what you mean in relation to real life. Lol if others are putting in effort to change and improve, we all should try as well. Hehe 👍

-“I think seeing ARMYs reactions help me communicate with them.” This is cute but also, lol. You communicate to us in humor half the time and then address us seriously the other half. I guess our jokes and long letters of love are working lmaoooo.

-“I would always feel discouraged, but my personality has changed a lot how, I think. I think the biggest change in my mind is that now, even if there’s a major project in the works, I think I can do it now. Now, instead of, ‘How can I handle this?’ it’s ‘I can handle this!’” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ that last part sent me out. Lol I love the attitude and growth. We going from I have to deal with this too I can do it. Like, yesssssssssssssssssssss! I feel that when we may have that feeling of dread it is always because somewhere deep down we feel inadequate to do it so it can become heavy and we want to impede it more and then it becomes less enjoyable. But when we can admit that we feel and maybe we are inadequate it becomes more enjoyable because the feeling gets confronted and then it gets out of the way and we can let the process work through us. The process to let things come and just working as we go comes smoother and less heavy. I love your words here JIN! Top-tier stuff.

-“To put it in a general, comprehensive sense, now I do things when I feel like it.” Pop off JIN! Haha doing things when you feel like it is best. Haha there is no harm in just going for it even if we don’t know the outcome. But at least we put our first step into it.

-“It wasn’t too bad.” Lol JIN that demo was not bad at all. I get what you mean about the idea of making the cuts and making it sound a certain way for an album lol but the demo version was freaking good. Lol I have to fight your opinion on your demo track 😂 I’m sorry.

-“It might not make sense to other people, but it’s so important to do things when you feel like doing them…for things that aren’t absolutely required of you, I think you should do them whenever you feel like it.” This is a lovely reminder of ARMY today too. I think doing things for yourself and what you want to do is beyond just self-care, it is essential. Thank you for stressing this out because I feel that society has framed “doing things you want to do” as something that you do when you have time or when it is for a hobby and that should change. Doing things you want to do is something you should do every day. It is a priority. You can lose yourself in the process of ignoring that part that your body calls to and wants. People who don’t get it possibly never cared for themselves that way. I think that needs to be reframed. You brought up a great point Jin. 👌

-“It’s not that I found inner peace, I just think I can express things when I feel them like whenever I’m sad or happy: I can tell people I’m sad when I feel it; I can say I’m happy when I feel it.” When you said this, I thought of what inner peace meant. Haha I was spending some time challenging that idea and how you said it because that was a new way of seeing it. I think we all weigh out peace or inner peace as this thing where we no longer feel unrest but that’s not it. Peace can be feeling that unrest but understanding that you don’t always have to feed into that. You can still care about what people think about you but peace can also be knowing that and putting it to rest by still doing what you feel is best for you. It’s like it is a form of peace but not really. That is one way of seeing it but if I look at this another way, not caring about what other people may think when you say or do something but knowing you are putting your best interest heart is also called being self-aware. Aware that there is chaos and also misunderstanding and different interpretations of a situation in the minds of others but what is on others' minds is not on yours so it’s okay to just do you. And that is powerful to have because not everyone can channel that every day. It takes skill and also discipline to be like that and I think you are just self-aware. It’s freaking great.👍

-“…I guess you could say I want to be able to have fun on my own, too. And without inconveniencing anybody else.” You know the vibes Jin lol that is why I apologize ahead of time when I am about to show things to people not because I am apologetic for my presence but because I want to be me without creating any inconvenience in the minds of others lol like imma do me but also, please don’t get offended and remember that my opinions are just a thought, not a full fact, so, watch, read, and enjoy, but carry on. Haha 😂 I feel you but in a different manner. Lol I think it’s nice you are always considerate to stop when you know you may go above your limits than is allowed with those around you. Each person is different in energy and not everyone will laugh or think the same so it’s important to also be considerate in that matter. I feel seen because you like to be lively even though you can be introverted and like I can be that way but once we are past the sharing fries level we are at transferring and sharing link skills level and that means I am 10x livelier lol I hope this makes sense.

-“Because it’s my happiness…I realize I find happiness in my work.” I think this is the first time I come across a person who says they are strict because their happiness depends on it. This was different and deep to me because you say ARMY is also your happiness and that’s a strong statement when you put two and two together. I love you JIN😭💜 I don’t care talk to me about the second-place wine review lmaoo I will keep saying I love you. Haha 😂

-“I always feel like every moment is the best moment.” Yeah, I agree but I would like to add that it is the best moment because you are also always there. You make the moment, honey. Don’t you forget it lol 😌🙌 besides humor, this is a nice last sentiment to end the interview with because you started with talking about the time you couldn’t do much due to circumstances to speaking about your experience with Bangtan to speaking about your growth as a person and each answer had one thing in common and that is that it was created by the moments you experienced with everyone. I think that is a precious and best moment. Being able to handle life with the people you could only ever experience these feelings with, BANGTANNIES and ARMY. I don’t think we will ever have that one best moment because they are happening all around us each day even in the smallest of things. Hehe Each day just brings more best moments to add to more best moments to come. It is a lovely sentiment and I love your attitude toward life. Thank you, Jin. 💕

To end this letter let me get to the playlist lol 😂 it’s a mix of tracks I have been listening to lately and I wanted to share with some hints of warmth with tracks picked because they made me feel soft for you. Lol it’s sentimental but also upbeat so when your heart starts to go soft and melt it gets back up in a track that lifts you up or makes you just vibe a bit lol 🙂 yes I added some of your tracks because I notice you get shy with SUPER TUNA every time it gets brought up because you didn’t think it would get that popular and it slapppssss hard to this day and I want to annoy you because you look cute when you get flustered with it lol 😂 with the COLDPLAY tracks I was looking for a specific song I heard that my sister showed me back then and I listened to their albums again to spot the melody and TALK was a track I could not remember the name for but the melody was always catchy to me and I decided to add it here. GRAVITY is just calm and I love the lyrics. It’s nice to hear on a walk. I brought SWIMMING POOLS by Kendrick Lamar in honor of the cover you did back then with Joonie and Yoongi called School Of Tears. I still love it. 😭 those were the days. Haha I added LOVE SONGS by Maggie Lindemann first because that song is for you. I talked about the lyrics before and yes I very much still mean what I said about the track. I love it.💜 IN YOUR ARMS by Blake Rose had me crying lol these lyrics “But when Christmas comes again I hope I’m in your arms instead.” I was like, “when Christmas comes again I hope our Jin returns to us.” Lol we may have to wait one more Christmas after this one lol but I just had that thought. 😭😭😭😭 the best gift for Christmas in 2024 is going to be you. Lol With THE ASTRONAUT, I didn’t express which lyrics were my favorite and it is these ones, Jin: “you and me like a star that doesn’t shatter becoming your dream to travel throughout the universe just as the Milky Way shines upon the darkest roads you were shining towards me the only light found in the darkness on my path to you” like AHHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭 these lyrics are it. That’s some poetic and deep imagery. It’s freaking cute. 🥰 I LOVE IT. The track PURPLE by HOLLOW COVES is so nice as well. It is a track that has this imagery of not wanting to go and stay somewhere that feels like home under skies that are purple. It felt like that sentiment during these times and these lyrics are cute you say you like the summer best and I love how it adds summer in here: “Let’s go to that place where I took you last summer on top of the hill where the path was golden as it led to the ocean quiet and still. By the lighthouse on the hill we opened a door to a different world leaving everything behind just you and I open up your eyes. I wish that I could stay here all my life just you and I sitting under the purple skies.”😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭my heart. I also really love LATE NIGHTS AND LONELY by SURIEL HESS. These lyrics are for you: “but when I’m with you I see in your face the ways that you love me won’t go to waste the late nights and lonely I’ll trade them away for someone who knows all the ways that I’ll change. You’re gentle to me so I should be the same I know that you love me even when I’m not, I’m not okay…” you always show how much you love us through the actions you do and this is me also appreciating those actions that you choose to do. I feel like the love I give doesn’t go to waste and thank you for not making it a waste. I love you. ☺️✨ I hope ya’ll enjoy the playlist lol hehe have fun😆🙌 for the photos and lyrics I handwrote, I decide to go a little more personal with photos I took in past late-night drives and walks and they are a collection of sky moments and blurry drive moments. I wanted to give you my eyes for a bit with those photos so you can see how the sky and nighttime look to me. Hehe, I wrote lyrics that I loved from some of the tracks. Enjoy theeeee photos too ❤️ happy listening🎶

Jin, please come back safely to us. We will be waiting for you. I know I have been saying this but I want to reassure you that we will all be here for you. Lol I want to make sure you feel me. Lol 😂 but, I wish you well, and do your best Jin! I know you will make us proud. 💜 please eat well and I hope you can enjoy this experience in a way that you can learn new things and meet new people and create new memories. Let’s make the best of things, right? YES. You taught us that in many ways and now it is up to us to put that to work while you go and come back. Hehe I love you, honey. FIGHTING!🫶 If you need some encouragement just look for us in the warmth of the East winds. Hehe my spirit will be in the wind haha 😂 my homie the East Winds taught me that the wind is often overlooked but is quite a powerful healer and motivator. But, you must accept it and feel it with purpose. 😇I know you can. Lol humor me, Jin. Haha bye bye! Thank you for staying until your birthday to celebrate with us even for a bit. I hope everyone can wish you the best too from afar and let’s have a great JIN, KIM SEOK JIN, WORLDWIDE HANDSOME, AND SEOKJINNNNNNNIE DAYYYY! Please eat well on your birthday too JIN. 🎂Just play the mukbang videos and I’ll be eating with you too.haha you won’t be alone if you are eating alone. Lol it’s a lil chaotic and random LET’S GOOOOOO!

Con mucho 🌹AMOR🌹,

Your Jennifer ✨✌️🐰✌️✨

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0813pm · 2 years

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Everlasting

A lot of things have been on my mind over the past 2 weeks.

I think it’s unbearable, but I always try to mange it.

I have mixed feelings towards everything that I do, and I think it’s funny how I have kept it up for so long.

Maybe it’s because I always try to find a solution around the problems I face?

It’s like how I try to think of another healthy solution to something that may feel dangerous if I keep it up for so long.

Yesterday, I had another terrible session of playing apex (lol!)

I was negative, but at the end of the day, it’s always something learnt, and I tried to think of multiple ways to try and approach playing the game positively.

I thought of possibly limiting myself to how long I should play, what I should accomplish within that timeframe, and set a proper schedule.

As much as I am looking forward to trying such things, I have my own self-doubts as well.

Such is the life of an individual that always looks at things from a neutral standpoint.

Do you have the fear of missing out?

Or maybe the feeling that you just want to do better?

It’s a struggle that I have ever since I have been working to improve on my individual skills, whether it’s in-game or in real life.

Many say it’s driven by passion, I’d agree to that.

Some would also say it’s addiction, in which I can’t deny that fact either.

Point is, I can’t deny the fact that on my days off, I would often go back to doing what I said I wouldn’t do.

I can be easily influenced from watching people often.

So because of that, I would still play apex when I say I wouldn’t, for example.

The need to constantly improve oneself is both a healthy and unhealthy mindset, depending on how you approach it.

I can’t say mine is healthy, to be honest.

But, I’ll try to practice self-control, it’s a must.

“It’s times like these you learn to live again.”

I still hate myself for not placing my phone towards the window so it wouldn’t capture a reflection of the train

Despite my shortcomings, I still find myself having bursts of joy from time to time.

I wouldn’t say that I am genuinely enjoying the life that I am living, but I can say that I am grateful for the many opportunities and experiences given to me as a whole.

It makes me wish for some things in life to be everlasting.

But as all things, nothing lasts forever, even if it’s thought to be indestructible.

Eventually, nature will take its course.

I think it’s times like these, you just have to live in the moment.

To not worry about what you are going to do next.

But to focus on what you are doing now.

As a neutral person, I tend to find the meaning behind blue interesting.

Searches in relation to feelings associated with blue suggests calmness or serenity.

However, feeling blue also means that you are sad or tearful.

Essentially, I feel both ways.

A favorite activity that I often do is to observe the blue skies during the evening hour.

I always find joy in observing the skies as it turns dark.

But I also feel sad and lonely as it goes along its process.

It’s the thought of it being so short, that makes me sad.

But I still look forward to seeing the blue sky every day.

It’s that sort of mindset that makes me appreciate nature, in a sense!

Even now, I still think to myself, “Am I still going to try to stick to my word of trying a new approach to everything that I do?”

I’d say I’ll give it a shot, for real this time.

Life’s too boring to be doing the same thing over and over again expecting changes to happen instantly.

That’s just insanity.

So I’ll try and provide myself with goals that I wish to accomplish each time I get into work, or hop onto a game session with my friends.

I think that would be nice.

Aside from setting goals, I recently visited Harbourfront and saw a beautiful sunset from afar.

I was very amazed by it, since I often preferred watching the blue skies.

The thought of saying, “Hope to see you again the next day Mr Sun!”

That came into my mind.

It made me smile.

I think on my next trip, I’ll go find a beautiful spot.

I think I might climb up a hill somewhere in Singapore.

I’ll drag my friends, or I can go by myself.

Just to sit up top somewhere and to watch the sunset over the horizon.

At the end of the day, I hope that everyone finds that special moment of theirs to keep.

Because to capture something that is special for yourself, something that you would remember for the rest of your life.

I believe that’s the aspect in life that I consider as everlasting.

Don’t wait too long for something to happen.

Make a change, if you will.

I’ll be cheering you on.

Till then,

oszu // osuma

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dykefight · 3 years

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I want to share some of the experiences of my loved ones and myself that started leading me to radical feminism

One of my best friends (currently a 19 year old college student) used to have an onlyfans and currently sells underwear online. She says that the most humiliating moments of her life happened on onlyfans and similar websites. She had guys ask things like would she have sex with her brother, could she cry on camera, or if she would piss herself for them. There were two men she encountered that still make me sick to think about. The worst one was a man who regularly paid for videos of her pretending like she was being raped by him without a condom. She would beg for him to stop, not to impregnate her, and she cried and screamed. She was not allowed to get any pleasure from it or she wouldn’t get paid. The man only found pleasure in the idea of a teenage girl being traumatized and abused. The other man paid her to dominate him over the phone. He wanted her to control every aspect of his life. He was nearly 30 at the time while she was 18. The worst part of this ordeal was that they knew each other from when she was around twelve or thirteen. During this time I watched her mental health rapidly decline. Her poor mental health ended up causing her to quit less than a year after starting her account. Now she sells underwear and the conditions are no better. She’s been asked to sell worn underwear, underwear she’s pissed in, underwear with her period blood in it, and underwear she’s worn while masturbating. She has been masturbating so frequently that her skin over her clit has begun peeling. The idea that this is empowering her as a woman makes me sick. It’s basically a form of self harm. Anytime I mention that she might need to slow down she explodes, ranting about how she loves doing it, how it’s good money, and that it’s her choice. No woman should be brainwashed into that mindset.

Two of my other friends have been coerced by their boyfriends into sex that they didn’t want. One of them was guilt tripped into having anal sex by her boyfriend. She didn’t want to have sex until marriage, which he already knew prior. She said he looked so disappointed that she felt like she had to let him do anal. She also said this was easily one of the most painful experiences of her life. She ended up being pressured into vaginal sex only a few weeks later. Another friend was VERY adamant about saving any kind of sex until marriage. Her boyfriend pretended like this was totally fine until around a year into their relationship. He starting persuading her into giving him handjobs and blowjobs, insisting that they were meaningless acts and no big deal. She complied but still wouldn’t let him do anything sexual to her. Eventually he got impatient and decided to touch her while she was asleep on a school trip. She admits to being scarred from this, but insists that he didn’t mean any harm and that he wouldn’t do it again. In March, they were at a party together and had a fight. My friend is known for being a lightweight. While she was furious and drunk, her boyfriend was barely tipsy. He apparently decided that the best way for her to get over it was to push her into a room and have sex even though she was fully unable to consent. At some point, someone walked into the room, saw them, and told everyone at the party about it, including complete strangers. People still bring it up to her like it’s some funny story. Neither of my friends see anything wrong with their boyfriends or their actions. I, along with mutual friends, have tried to bring it up but they insist that it was a one time thing, their boyfriends didn’t know any better, and that we’re being over dramatic. It hurts me to know that they’re just one of many girls who dismiss sexual assault just because they’ve never been told what is wrong in a sexual relationship.

My mom was raped by my father while they were dating. My mom was raised in a very religious family so she saw premarital sex as one of the ultimate sins. She was okay with everything except penetrative sex. At some point, they were naked together and he saw that as an invitation. She froze up and couldn’t bring herself to stop him. That was how she lost her virginity. It wasn’t until she told me that she realized he raped her and that was only because I told her. She didn’t know she was raped until over 30 years later. She said she always thought she asked for it since she was naked around him and let him get close enough for it. She didn’t know that there are multiple types of rape until much later in life, so she never connected the dots. If she had known, she might’ve been able to save herself from the abusive marriage that followed.

Speaking of my mother and her marriage, she was also taught that getting a divorce was a sin in the eyes of god, especially if the wife initiates it. My mom couldn’t bring herself to divorce him in the beginning and then once she had kids she couldn’t divorce him until she made sure he wouldn’t get joint custody of us. She suffered through 35 years of abuse all because of some bullshit she had forced upon her since she was young. My grandma on my moms side experienced the same thing and wouldn’t divorce my grandfather who cheated on her and had a child with another woman.

These last ones are my own personal experiences. I, like many women, have faced sexual assault multiple times. The first time was when I was 12 and sexually assaulted by my long time family friend who was 15. He was best friends with my cousin who I am very close to so he also became a friend of mine. We also went to the same school. One day the three of us were at my cousins house and I was sharing a blanket with the friend. Under the blanket, he began to brush his hand along my ass which I thought was an accident since we were on a small couch sharing a blanket meant for one person. It soon escalated to him grabbing my ass under my jeans and through my underwear and then cupping my boobs. This was all while my cousin sat five feet away. When I finally got the courage to get out I got a text from the guy begging me not to tell my cousin. It took me nearly a month to tell my family and the school. My family said they would cut all contact with his family and the school said they would make sure I never had to be around him in a school setting. However, almost immediately, my family went back to being friends with his family and my school went back on their promise. Even though the guy confessed and I had the texts as evidence, he faced no real repercussions. Another guy continually harassed me over the course of our freshman, sophomore, and junior year. He’d do things like grab me, slap my ass, stick his hand down my uniform, grind against me during class while I was bent over, and he always found new ways to contact me after being blocked. When I finally told a teacher mid junior year, the way the school “punished” him was by having his football coach talk to him. This is the same football coach that’s known to indirectly slut shame girls in front of everyone. The guys behavior towards me didn’t change so I just gave up. I was never taken seriously when these incidents came to light. Everyone just assumed it was something to brush off. That it’d go away after a gentle scolding. Even my peers who say they’re all about protecting and defending women basically responded with “that sucks” and moved on.

I turned to radical feminism because it’s given me a place to be heard. I can speak my mind. Even if someone doesn’t agree with me, they’ll have a civilized discussion or simply move on rather than start an argument.

#and there’s more obviously #radfem #terf safe #terfs do touch #gender critical #terfs please interact #radical feminism #drop the t #lgb #long post #sorry #mine

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Requested from @itsao-mine

Request: Can you write a fanfic or Hc’s for a female Uzumaki s/o with Kushina and Minato? The s/o and Kushina are not related, just having the same name.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, (actually this is pretty harmless)

Wanted to do originally Hc’s, but decided to make a oneshot. I made something similar before which you can read here.

Pairing: Yan!Minato Namikaze x Uzumaki!Reader x Yan!Kushina Uzumaki

Summary: During a dinner with your two best friends, you hear a stunning confession.

Two sweethearts

"Slow down a bit (y/n) or else you'll swallow it the wrong way." Your chopsticks froze midair, eyes drifting to your two best friends who were both watching you with warm and slightly amused eyes. You huffed a bit and put the chopsticks down. "I've been on a two-week mission and came only back recently. And those last few days I've been running on food pills! Do you even know how bitter those things tasted? I was stripped from delicious food and now that I'm on a little break, I'm planning to make up for those dehumanized meals. Blame your wife that the food is so good. Even though I suppose after that everything would have tasted heavenly."

Kushina smiled with a slight blush tingling her face when hearing your compliment. Minato scratched his cheek a bit. "I actually helped making everything." You kind of sensed that he wanted to be complimented too, but feeling a bit more mischievious, you instead gave him a shocked look. "Wait, you can cook? Should I be worried that I'll suffer from a food intoxication."

Kushina giggled a bit when seeing your surprised face whilst Minato crossed his arms, giving you a faked hurt expression. He knew you were just joking. "Ha ha ha. Very funny. I'm planning on letting you die anytime soon, you know. If I would want that, I would use other methods."

"Oh, don't be that way. I know you love me.", you purred, tilting your head in an innocent way. You felt slightly taken aback when you saw his cheeks shortly turning pink. That was a bit unexpected, but you decided to ignore this. "Also", you turned around, looking at Kushina,"It wouldn't be a wise decision of you to try to get rid of me. Or else you'll summon hell's rage upon you. Isn't that right Kushi?"

Flashback

You nervously clutched Kushina's hand, feeling fear tingling in every cell of your body. So that was Konohagakure, the village where you two would from now on live. Why? Why you two? You knew that you couldn't do anything against it now, but there were those selfish thoughts inside of you that just wished that someone else had been chosen instead of you and Kushina. All you had wanted was living a happy and normal life in your village. But instead you two had been chosen to become the next jinchuuriki of the fox spirit which was kept in the Leaf Village. You didn't want to, because of this stupid task you and Kushina had been ripped away from your families and friends. You didn't even know if you would see them anytime soon again.

"Don't worry, (y/n). I'm here." You felt Kushina squeezing your hand in a comforting manner, giving you an encouraging smile. You blinked confused, feeling the tears in the corner of your eyes. "But Kushi...aren't you scared? We're in a foreign village, forced to carry the nine-tailed fox inside of us and far away from our village. What if they don't like us?"

"Of course I'm scared. I'm angry that they dragged us two in this mess. But...I guess it could be worse." It could be worse? "W-what do you mean?", you asked, confusion audible in your voice. She scoffed, looking a bit nonbelieving that you didn't understand her. "Because at least I have you, silly. If I would have been alone, I guess I would have felt lonely. But the knowledge that at least my best friend is with me, comforts me and I feel less scared. Who cares if the whole village doesn't like me and you? I think as long as I have you, I'm fine with anything. Do you feel the same?"

You stared at her in awe, feeling touched by her spoken words that you felt yourself tearing up. You chuckled a bit, sounding relieved and quickly wiped away the wetness in your eyes. "Yes, I suppose you're not wrong with that." You straightened up a bit, feeling a bit more confident. "So me and you forever, no matter what happens. Right?" You gave her a determined nod, causing both of you to grin. "Right!"

Present

"You can bet on it! No one hurts my (y/n)!" You gave her a cheeky grin, feeling grateful that none of you had ever once broken the promise, even after Minato had come into the picture. You admitted, at first you had been a bit scared that Kushina would neglect you for him, but she had never thought about it, she had always taken care of you. And now you were glad that she had him and that he was her husband. There was no one more perfect for her than him. Their marriage had been a bit more than a year ago and you had of course been the maid of honor. It had been an adorable experience, Kushina had been so nervous that you had spent at least 15 minutes holding her hands and calming her down. And you had cried in joy when both of them had given each other their vow. Even though you remembered the poor guy having been scared and intimidated by her. He still was.

Flashback

"Come on, you idiot! If you like her, tell her!", you snarled at him, clearly tired from this conversation. The blonde scratched his head, appearing to be a bit shy. "I don't know. What if she doesn't like me?" Your eyebrow twitched a bit, turning with an annoyed expression around to him. "Are you blind or something like this? You are the official 'Prince Charming' in this whole goddamn village! Show more confidence! And believe me, I've known Kushina longer than all of you. She likes you, believe me."

He flinched slightly when you starting towering over him, glaring scarily at him. "Calm down, no reason to look like you're about to rip my head off. You Uzumaki have quite the scary temper." You scoffed, half amused, half annoyed. "You fell for one. But hey, love comes in many forms. Even really unexpected ones."

Present

Thinking back now, hadn't there even been a time where everyone had made bets on whom would end up with whom? Ah yes, those silly times when every former classmate of you three had bet on whether you would end up with Kushina, Kushina with Minato or Minato with you. You guessed since you three had been really close ever since the day Minato had saved her from being kidnapped, for which you had suffocated him with a hug, everything would have been possible. But you wouldn't want to have it any other way, even if you would have given the chance to do so. You had no reason. Things hadn't changed since back then. It was still only you three, through thick and thin. You couldn't ask for more, even if you wanted to.

"Did something interesting happen whilst I was gone? Or was it just the usual?" The question was more meant for Minato since he was the Hokage. "Nothing really. Most likely only paperwork.", the blonde replied, causing you to exchange glances with Kushina, both of you smiling because you had just thought the same thing. "I'm so glad we didn't become Hokage." Her and you looked taken aback, having just said simultanously the same thing before you two broke out in laughter. "Can you believe we wanted to be the Hokage when we were younger? Woah, sitting the whole day in the office and doing paperwork doesn't seem to fit us." You nodded approvingly, noticing with amusement Minato's pout. "So I'm boring?"

"No Minato! We both love you very much.", you said happily, trying to stiffle your laughter with clearing your throat and going back to shoving the food down. "Anyways,", you mumbled between a few bites,"you said you wanted to talk about somthing with me, right? What is it?"

And just like that, the whole light and warm air seemed suddenly to change, making you look up confused up at the two. You just sensed it, it was something serious. "Well...you know..." Minato seemed to search for the right words, Kushina grabbing one of his hands and giving it an encouraging sqeeze. "We wanted to talk to you...about us."

"Us in the sense of we three?", you asked, pointing at him, her and you questioningly. Kushina gave nodded, giving you a weird look. She looked somewhat excited, but also...scared? "That sounds serious. Did something happen?" Seeing them acting so nervous caused you yourself to feel a wave of nervousness wash over you, your stomach churning around in an anxious motion. Did you do something wrong? Did they want to spend less time with you and more with themselves? You wouldn't feel offended, you had felt somewhat bad for being so often together with them. But they wouldn't look like that if it would just be this.

"Let's see how I can put this without making it sound weird.", Minato sighed, eyes darting around as if trying to find what he was looking for by doing so. "(y/n)...Kushina and me have known you since a lot of time and are really thankful that you've not distanced yourself from us even after our marriage. Actually...we've wanted to tell you this for quite some time now, but didn't know how to tell you. But we don't want to wait any longer."

This long speech was killing you and you had started swirling the chopsticks nervously around your fingers, swinging back and forth due to feeling the impatience and anxiety slowly burning you. What were they going to tell you, goddamn it?!

Kushina and Minato exchanged a quick glance at each other, a silent message which you couldn't read being exchanged between them before they turned around to look at you. "We love you."

It wasn't the first time you had heard this from them, especially Kushi had often said those words to you. You shouldn't be shocked to hear this. But this time...it was different. You repeated those words carefully a couple of times in your head, staring intensely at them. Both of them were looking a bit anxiously at you, awaiting your reaction. Had you...? Had they just...?

The raining silence was interrupted by your awkward laughter, scratching the back of your neck a bit too forcefully. "You scared me a bit right now. Why having so serious faces? I now you love me. I love you too also." You hoped that you had misunderstood this all, but judging from the disappointed faces of them, you knew you didn't.

"(y/n), you know that we don't mean it that way.", Kushina replied, looking straight into your eyes. "We love you as more as friends, (y/n). I know that this is abrupt and shocking, but hear us out please.", Minato pleaded, giving you a begging look.

And you, well, you had forgotten temporarily how to move, staring with wide open eyes at them, a dumbfounded expression decorating your face. For a moment you wanted to panic, the next you thought maybe escaping would do it. Nut the only thing you could do in that moment was watching them.

Take a deep breath and do something! You inhaled and exhaled one time deeply, body relaxing again a bit and getting a slight better control over your absolutely racing thoughts right now. "A-are you saying that you two...have feelings for me? Romantical ones?" They both nodded, Kushina looking determined whilst Minato seemed to observe your reactions more carefully.

"Ah, I see.", you mumbled, turning your gaze away from them and to the ground. One thought was currently playing itself over and over again in your mind. You had just ruined a happy and married couple.

"I...I just ruined your relationship, didn't I?" Your body started slightly shaking, burrying your face in your hands, shame starting to fill all of your senses. "I-I'm so sorry for this! I-I didn't mean to-"

You were interrupted by two pair of hands suddenly touching you, a smaller pair squeezing your hands in a familiar manner and a larger pair resting on your shoulders. You lifted your face, blinking a bit to get rid of the water that had started to collect itself in your eyes. Kushina was kneeling in front of you, holding your hand in hers whilst Minato was standing behind you.

"What are you talking about? You didn't ruin anything (y/n). We don't ever plan on breaking up. We love each other as well as you." You felt the slightest bit bit of comfort when you saw them exchanging a loving gaze with each other, you shoulders slumping down a bit. Good, you hadn't been the end of them. That was until suddenly another light bulb went on in your head.

"Wait. If both of you love me, but are also in love with each other...Are you trying to suggest...!" And suddenly you shoot up from your chair, surprising Minato and Kushina. "Are you trying to ask if I would be willing to have a relationship with you two?! A married couple?! Who just happens to be the Hokage and his wife?!"

"(y/n). Calm down. We know it's a lot to take in right now, but listen to us first.", Minato tried to soothe you, Kushina giving you as well a pleading look. But right now you weren't in the condition. It irritated you, not that they had just confessed, but rather because after the first initial shock you weren't as surprised as you should be. You just exploded a bit in that moment. "You tell me to calm down?! Sorry, not possible! Do you even know what would happen if someone should find out about this?! You could lose your reputation?! The trust of the village?! In the worst case scenario even be forced to give up on your title as Hokage! And Kushina would lose the respect she fought for so hard?! What if we all get excluded from society?! And it would be all my fault!" You were probably overthinking right now, gesturing wildly around with your arms and pacing nervously back and forth, continuing to mutter all worst case scenarios you could come up with right now, more and more scenarios popping up in your head. "It's my fault. I'm to blame if anything should go the wrong way."

"(y/n)! Stop it now!" And suddenly you were prevented from moving, though not by force. Instead you were suddenly sandwiched between two bodies, hugging you from front and back. You didn't know if it was because you now knew about their feelings, but you felt highly embarrassed all of a sudden, even though your small paranoia wasn't over yet. "Hey! Let go of me!" you protested, trying to struggle out of their grips. "Not until you've calmed down." Minato's voice sounded a bit stricter, blue eyes having become a tad bit more harder, reminding you with whom you were talking to. The Fourth Hokage. Kushina had started rubbing comforting circles in your sides, her head resting on your shoulder.

It at least helped you to calm down, even though this shouldn't have been. But there was this certain tranquility and peace you seemed to gain from those two, feeling thei calmer heartbeat helped your own to calm down and their scent slowed your sped up breath down. Despite knowing that this was wrong, you couldn't deny that this was more nice and inviting than it should have been, being in between those two. At one time in the timeline you guessed you had a crush on both of them, but had gladly given up on it when Minato and Kushina had started dating.

For a few moments you three seemed to just stay in this position, a comfortable silence surrounding you. That was before you snapped out of it, a furious heat starting to spread on your face. Too close. "Alright. I calmed down. Now please let go of me." You started squirming slightly, successfully getting out when both of them seemed to loosen their holds on you reluctantly, allowing you to slip out. It was hot, you felt like burning up, most likely out of embarrassment. In a last attempt to regain composure, you cleared your throat and straightened up a bit, even though you could have really just hidden under the table and die out of shame.

"I'm listening." You sounded as collected as someone could right now, after such a flustering experience. But it seemed to brighten both of them up, looking less stressed now that you've calmed down. "We're aware of the risks. That's why we were planning on keeping it a secret.", Kushina explained quickly, causing you to raise an eyebrow. "A secret? I don't think anyone would exactly like keeping a relationship a secret. Next to that I doubt that this can be kept a secret from everyone. Sooner or later someone will find out."

"We weren't planning on keeping quiet about it forever. Only until we've worked a dynamic out that will satisfy everyone. I agree with you, someone will find at some point out. But the villagers know how close we are so in public it shouldn't be too much of a problem if we are seen together. Kushina and me know that there will be people who won't approve of this. But I'm-we're sure that we can manage to sort it out in no time."

You were debatting with your inner self right now, trying to make your mind up. The idea both of them had worked on sounded like a solid plan. But still. "This may sound all very plausible, but it's still a gamble. Are you really willing to risk the trust of the villagers?"

They didn't say anything, but their gazes were telling you everything. You let a frustrated groan out, pulling slightly on your red Uzumaki hair. "Don't look so discouraged! We never know what might happen until we try.", Kushina scolded you slightly, hoping to help you not giving up on hope. You stopped pulling your head, turning your head to them. "How long?"

You didn't need anything more to say, the look in your eyes speaking for you. "Since actually a very long time, at least for me. I've always really liked you. You were after all for a long time the only person I could trust until Minato came.", Kushina confessed, sounding a bit shy. So even before the marriage. That was a bit shocking. But Minato? When had he...? From the asking look you were giving him, he already knew what you wanted to ask. "Well, for me it's a bit of a more complicated story. I actually didn't think that way about you until Kushina confessed to me her feelings. It was a bit shocking for me at first. But...I guess somewhere along the lines I started changing my view, Kushina was pretty much gushing what she loved about you."

You pinched your nose bridge, having the feeling that you were in the wrong movie. This was not right. You shouldn't even consider this and let them live happily. The thought that they wanted to live happily with you was quickly pushed away, even though it's echo reminded in your mind.

"We completely get that it's shocking and that you have reasons to be dubious. But everything will work out well if we do it together. I know it will." Kushina sounded optimistic, Minato agreeing with a nod.

"We? What do you mean with we? I didn't say yes to all of this." Kushina's confident expression faded away, a shocked as well as hurt expression crossing her face. "(y/n)..."

"Don't say anything.", you interrupted her, a conflicted expression on your face. "I-I can't. That's not right, you guys. We can not be. It just...it's wrong. Being together with a married couple who has such high positions is dangerous. That aside, it's nice you planned that all out. But what's with me? What is with my feelings? I'm glad you don't plan on divorcing or be on bad terms or else I would have stormed out of here. But I have morals! And my consciousness is telling me that this isn't right. I don't want to feel like a burden. Even if I would want this, it's not possible. How could I ever do something like this to you? And me?"

You were getting emotional and didn't like it, you really tried to be logical right now. "It's for their own good. And mine.", you tried to tell yourself, thinking about the costs this could have. Too high. You fell into the fabric of the couch, feeling like sitting would make you feel less overwhelmed and giddy. "I can't.", you whimpered, starting to weep silently. You felt terribly ashamed that there was a part telling you otherwise.

"The last thing you will ever be for me is a burden. Don't you remember what I told you all those years back?" You felt the material to your left side dip in, Kushina sitting down next to you. You noticed that in her eyes were swimming tears as well. But this wasn't what astonished you. It was what she had said. You just looked stunned at her. "I told you that no matter what people might think of me, I don't care. As long as I have you and Minato, I'm happy. Just Minato, you and me. That's all I really want. I don't ask for much more except you giving us a chance." Sincerity. That was what you read in her eyes, she meant it.

Minato had by now sat down to your right side, giving you the same look. "Trust us. Please. You should let it happen if you want it as well. Because of us and our reputations you don't have to sacrifice your own happiness or wishes to be loved as well. The situation might be a bit more peculiar, but love comes in many forms. Even unexpected ones, right?"

Despite still feeling shitty, you managed to croak a laugh out, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hands. "You are using cheap tricks, you know that?" In return both gave you a small smile, rubbing comforting circles in your arms. Another sigh escaped your lips, going trough all the pros and cons of this situation. Currently you found more cons than pros which was ridiculous given the fact that love should always have more positive aspects than negative ones. But maybe these few positive argumentations were just so much more worth than anything else. You still felt weird, maybe because you were more of a narrowed-minded person.

"Let's assume that I'm willing to agree to this,", you say the spark of hope in the eyes of those two, leaning closer to you, anticipating your next words,"how will this even work under us three? Wouldn't I be somewhat in the way? I mean, with two people this seems more easy. They only have each other. But how would you even divide the time with me as an extra? And don't you want also time with each other? And what is with having feelings for more than one person? Wouldn't you favor each other over me since you've already spent more time loving each other?"

The principles of this working where unknown to you and you had admittedly never been in a relationship before, you had never really felt the need to have a partner with those two. You felt somewhat unsure when you saw their confused faces staring at you as if you had just grown horns. "What? Why are you staring at me like this?" You blinked, turning your head back and forth between them.

That was until Kushina broke out in laughter, Minato following shortly. "Why are you laughing?" You felt a bit frustrated, not knowing about what they were laughing. "Hey, explain to me what's so funny."

"This is what you're worrying about? How giving affection and splitting the time will work? And worrying that we wouldn't love you as much as each other?", Kushina chuckled. "Umm...maybe?", you replied, blinking somewhat innocently at her. "Kushina,", Minato called, causing both of you to turn heads to him,"let's show her." Over Kushina's face a somewhat mischievious expression appeared. You on the other hand were still tumbling in the dark.

"Show me what?" It didn't seem like you were getting an answer, both of them suddenly pressing their bodies tighter against you, Kushina clinging onto your arm whilst Minato swung one over your shoulders. They were planning something and the pounding of your heart and heat in your face seemed to return all at once, making you somewhat try to shrink away from them since your left and right side were blocked.

You didn't manage to get far anyways, feeling Kushina's and Minato's hair tingling you from both sides, their breaths gosting over your skin. "W-what are you planning to do?" Your whole voice was shaking, not being able to look them right now in the eyes. Too close. Again. But this time even more than before.

"Showing you our love and affection." And with these words they closed the gap, both targeting your lips. And it was certainly something, getting to experience two persons at once kissing you. And your heart exploded. In the methaphorical sense, but still. You turned into a statue, not moving whilst both of them starting peppering your face with kisses. By now you feared you might really explode.

"Get it now?", Minato asked in a playfully teasing tone, cuddling you a bit more whilst Kushina had started nuzzling her face in your neck. You managed to stutter something out that sounded like a half-decent agreeing, too flushed from this sudden act.

"And? Are you willing to give it a shot now?", she asked, tickling you since her voice send vibrations down your neck. "You were still uncertain, but you also doubted that they would let you out of their grip right now. "May...be?" The answer was taken with much joy. And more kisses.

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere minato #yandere minato namikaze #yandere kushina #yandere kushina uzumaki

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kcatta-wodahs · 4 years

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MC Who Does Not Fear Death x OM! Demon Brothers

Or maiming, or apparently any other consequences. You’ve walked into this situation with absolutely no filter and no fear. Time to tear down every structure of Devildom society.

Lucifer

You look at him with a withering stare when he tries to intimidate you into behaving.

“I was summoned out of my trashy apartment to this place, where literally anyone could snap me like a twig on accident. I’m just working on the assumption that I’m already dead.”

He sternly looks at you. “You’re under my protection during your time here. No harm will come to you.”

You snort derisively, which visibly irritates him. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t come back to haunt you if it happens.”

As you continue through your life in Devildom he keeps calling you out for meddling and all that, like usual, and he HATES that you literally *do not care* when he threatens you.

Like HE knows that he wouldn’t hurt Diavolo’s transfer student but YOU are supposed to be AFRAID of him dammit.

His frustration at this ends up turning into a form of respect. You’re about the only person who will stand up to him, and tbh like you’re so fucking fragile but you’ll yell at him all day? That takes guts. Annoying guts. But you’ve got guts.

But also STOP IT. He has enough stress in his life and now he’s constantly terrified that you’ve decided it’s a great idea to adopt a baby balrog

Which you did once. He’s just afraid that “Flamin Hot Cheeto” is going to come back since you somehow managed to imprint on it.

despite the fact that the BABY could easily tear your arms off on accident

Not to mention he gets the flack for EVERY SINGLE ONE of these following stories. You stress him out so much. Please. Please, stop.

He’s almost to the point of begging. The Avatar of Pride is three steps away from either locking you away for the rest of the year or begging on his knees for you to calm down.

But you know you’d find a way out if he locked you up so no worries. It’ll be a good challenge.

Mammon

“Well you WON’T be dead because it’s my job to protect you! Are you doubting the Great Mammon?!”

Stupid human. Yeah, you’re fragile and weak, but that’s why HE’S your bodyguard now, and there’s no way in hell (lol) that he would let you die on his watch.

Lucifer would kill him.

You welcome the challenge, and he thinks it’s funny at first but quickly becomes a flustered mother hen.

“NO, we are NOT going out to Madam Scream’s at 3am! Do ya know what kinda CREEPS are out there at 3am?!”

And you sneak out the fucking window.

He has had more heart attacks in the past week than he has had in the last 100 years of life.

He starts agreeing to your ridiculous adventures JUST because then he can actually keep an eye on you.

He adores the chaos of the laugh that bursts from you every time you narrowly escape death.

He HATES how often you have to NARROWLY ESCAPE DEATH. So he will never tell you.

He almost doesn’t have time for his own shenanigans anymore, because all his time is taken up by trying to make sure you stay alive.

And you’ve figured out that if you turn *any* of your ideas into a money-making one, he will join you whole-heartedly.

So you bribe him because what’s money to you anymore anyway?

Leviathan

I mean he doesn’t leave his room much, so tbh he probably just gets texts from you that make him want to scream.

‘hey uh levi say if someone were to hypothetically be stuck in a succubus’ devil basement to become an unwilling sacrifice to asmo what would that person, hypothetically, do?’

‘probably die’ is usually all he sends back

You always come back, because he always sends a text to the other brothers. In that case Asmo came to rescue you himself and scold the succubus.

You become the friend that he makes funny throwing-shade reddit posts about. (Devvit? Devil reddit? Eh??)

‘Levi so this has nothing to do with anything but is there a cure for a dangerously potent ‘always win at rock-paper-scissors' curse? Asking for a friend’

‘Friend is being held hostage tho so maybe be quick about a response’

He didn’t even know that kind of curse existed. None of them did. What the fuck did you do.

How did you get taken captive by playing rock paper scissors?

He doesn’t know. Nobody does. He expects the play-by-play so he can recommend it as a new anime to his favorite producers.

Somehow your chaotic plans end up with stories almost as great as TSL.

Beelzebub

He physically carries you around.

He’s like “fuck this you can’t get into trouble if I’m holding you.”

If Beel’s on MC watching duty, he’s almost the only one who is successful, just because you physically cannot get away.

But at the same time, he is very easily bribed.

So yes, he’ll go to Madam Scream’s with you at 3am. Sounds like fun.

But he is very protective after losing someone he cares about (who you remind him of so much….) so he keeps you close when you’re out and about too.

If you start getting into a fight with some other demon he literally just takes the fight for you and wins with no trouble at all.

You like having Beel with you.

Especially finding street festivals! You’re in a whole new world and there’s a MILLION things to try. Beel is more than happy to try them with you.

But that leads to arguments about whether deadly creatures to humans are still deadly when dead.

“No, you can’t eat that it’s on fire. I know even small fires hurt humans. I’ll eat it for you.”

“That hot sauce makes every demon I know cry. You really shouldn’t buy a bottle. Please. No, don’t try it. No, that’s too much for one-- oh. Oh no.”

He forgives you as long as you don’t actually get hurt and you give him your leftovers.

Asmodeus

“If I get wrinkles because of you I promise you will never hear the end of it. I will curse you forever.”

He swears on every single one of his lovers that you have started giving him grey hairs.

GREY HAIRS, MC.

Why can’t you just settle down and let them all take care of you? You don’t have to prove anything to the other demons!

But you will. You’re living in Devildom now, and by everything unholy, you are going to live that life to its fullest extent.

He was thrilled at first when you were all for joining him at his nightclubs and parties. Now he hides every party’s date from you.

That time you almost threw yourself off a balcony to try and emulate a very drunk demon’s newest dance move.

“I need to stay TRENDY, Asmo!! I’ll be fine!!”

Ever since learning Demonus doesn’t affect humans you have challenged every single stuck-up tough boy to a drinking contest.

And every single time you win, Asmo has had to *narrowly* save you from being killed by said demon.

And you just say “he deserved it” every time.

And like, yeah okay, he probably did but YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE.

Somehow, you manage to out-party Asmo.

dON’T TELL THE OTHERS but he lives for the times when you practically fall asleep on his shoulder while coming home from a rager. You may not get drunk, but when you’re sleepy, you’re so affectionate and something in his heart melts.

Satan

At first, Satan was all for the rebellious “life life with no restraints” thought process you explained to him.

I mean, he didn’t like the assumption that he and his brothers couldn’t control themselves to not accidentally kill you, but also… fair.

But he didn’t realize that this mindset followed through for EVERY demon in ANY place.

Including RAD, where old and wizened demons were *really* not used to being contradicted

Which led to you “accidentally insulting” your 5000 year old Human Studies professor by giving them a pop quiz on current memes (which they failed).

And left Satan as the one who had to make sure that said professor didn’t kill you.

And the thing is, this keeps happening.

You’ve written all over the school’s library books, pointing out every error.

You *continue* to argue with the demons who threaten to kill you when you say silly things like “No, Solomon did not learn his sorcery at Hogwarts because Hogwarts isn’t REAL.”

(Solomon, meanwhile, refutes you vehemently and seems to grow three inches taller every time you glare at him.)

Satan assures you that he values knowledge and truth and all that, but could you maybe find a less dangerous way to push it?

No can do, Satan, because you already had plans with Mammon to use a curse that writes the history of the actual Sorceric Academy that Solomon attended like 400 years all over the desks in Human Studies. It’s activated by anyone saying “Hogwarts”.

No, no, Satan, it’s brilliant, because you can’t do magic. It can’t be you who did it.

Satan, no don’t tell Lucifer.

I thought you hated him. Satan, wait.

You are the only person in the history of ever who convinces him to come to Lucifer for intervention. You wear that badge with pride and also deep, deep, bitter sadness.

Belphegor

Like, through the plot your willingness to be a thorn in anyone’s side just to get more information really works for Belphie.

He’s like all I gotta do is ask? Sweet. Yeah. Go, human.

But then when he’s all big and threatening and “im gonna kill you” and you just kind of look at him and nod like “yeah, this checks out.”

Frankly, that’s rude, MC.

And then he keeps threatening to kill you and it doesn’t even PHASE you like. You just keep listening to him rant and going “OH i think i get it now”

He liked that you were always looking for more information when he was the one pushing you around, but now?

No. Human, he is going to KILL you here, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

And then you do the time-travel bit, and see that he *literally has killed you in one timeline* and you just like

Shrug it off and keep talking about Lilith???????

Tbh what probably stopped him from doing it again is just that you’re fucking insane, MC

“MC, you literally just saw yourself dead in Mammon’s arms”

You wave your hand vaguely in his direction and say, “Yeah okay, but can we talk about the lack of communication in this household because it is tearing this family apart.”

What the fuck MC

When he’s back to normal, tbh he loves that side of you. He loves getting into shit when he’s not sleeping. He will 100% encourage you and be there to make sure that you *don’t* actually die again.

He’s the only one who doesn’t actually try to stop you. Who knew he was so into chaos.

But if you try to drag him to a plan when he should be sleeping he will be like Beel and literally just hold you down while he naps dammit. You brought this on yourself. He needs sleep.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me shitposts #obey me crack #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #bast babbles #my writing #obey me headcanons #gender neutral mc #re-reading this makes me vibrate with the need to destroy things #tldr is that humans are fucked up

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vbee-miya · 3 years

Text

✧︎How To Shift✧︎

disclaimer : before I start explaining anything you have to know that everyone’s shifting experiences and adventures are UNIQUE and different for what you will / you have experienced.

part i || currently on || part iii

➺︎ How I prepare for a successful shift

Background knowledge : before I successfully shifted I did some prior research to what shifting was. I made sure that it was something I would feel comfortable doing. Though at that time I didn’t really care for whatever shifting was. TikTok made it blow up, but it’s not the best source of information. Rather I went through articles back in 2015 actually and shifting realities have been a thing. So with this knowledge I thought I would put it to the test to see if it was actually real or not. First time I did it it was no good. I just ended up falling into a deep *lucid dream.

* note - lucid dreaming is when the dreamer is aware that they are dreaming and is able to gain control over the dream, the dream narrative, and the environment. the thing people confused about shifting with lucid dreaming is because both feel vivid and real. Mind you this, that was also me. But in my opinion what separates lucid dreaming to shifting is that the reality doesn’t change. In lucid dreams the reality stays the same as the current reality that’s why usually when you wake up you didn’t wake up in the same place/position as when you started. As for shifting your body stays stil and it’s only your consciousness that is moving around. if you watch naruto think of Ino Yamanaka. She’s able to move her consciousness into a different body than hers almost resembling a ‘different reality’ and while she does this Shikamaru Nara or Chiji Akimichi have to make sure that the body not only gets harmed but is moved. So that the consciousness can have an easy pathway to go back to the ‘original vessel.’

Making sure you have a proper environment : lucid dreaming wasn’t just one thing that caused me to fail in the shifting process, but it was also because I didn’t have the right environment to do so. I’m Filipino and in most traditional Filipino households. They’re loud. Shifting requires medication and focus. And I’m the type to not be able to focus in such loud areas. So making sure that you have a comfortable safe place to prepare for you shift is ideal.

Experimenting with different methods : remember when I said that everyone has different shifting experiences? I meant that in actual terms. there’s at least over 5+ ways/methods to shift. and I tried five of them and I only one felt comfortable to my liking. Which was the raven method. In much simpler terms it’s where you make sure your in one spot and you make sure that your limbs aren’t touching each other so almost like a star fish laying down. It’s silly, but there’s ways to not make it look so pathetic looking I guess. But as I was stating earlier there’s many ways/methods. And YouTube has plenty of them explain different process in much better ways.

Getting into the mindset : yes before I shifted I had no faith or motivation to push myself to shift. that’s one of the reasons why I wasn’t able to shift well. because I’d keep giving in. I really just didn’t care. However when I found out about affirmations and scripting I hated the idea of doing it because I wanted to shift just like that without the need to keep scripting. But I tried it and around the second maybe third week of doing this alongside the scripting it also didn’t work. So then I found out about subliminals. I figured using a meditation audio would help and it made the process go smoothly, but at the cost that the process of me shifting and getting into my consciousness would take a really long time since I’m not really spiritual. So accessing my deep inner consciousness was hell. Another thing that helps is when you say you affirmations when you do decide to meditate and such. Affirmations or messages like “I will be safe, I will have a safe shift, I can shift.”

Short story on how I shifted : To make a long story short eventually I tied the raven method, 30 minute meditation audio, then a certain subliminal audio over 10 minutes long in queued (so I wouldn’t have to have any problems of getting out of my meditation phase), and saying the affirmations and manifestations at the back back of my head I was slowly able to feel myself falling deeper into my consciousness, but it’s funny because I didn’t feel like I was going to fall asleep. Eventually the deeper I went the atmosphere around me started shifting slightly. I wanted to open my eyes but I knew that’ll eff things up so I waited. I kept getting deeper and deeper as the reality and atmosphere around me started to change. My head felt like it was getting clear my body temperature was actually heating up which apparently isn’t something that’s too rare to experience when first starting to shit. Anyways so going back to the first post/point can’t quite remember when I said this, but when starting to shifting you want at least some confirmation that you’ve shifted so in my case it was that I’d feel mist like drips on me. And I did. Next thing I knew I was walking through the gym doors my vision was hazy and I saw Shinsuke Kita in front of me and I low-key have ptsd from him.

The “importance” of scripting for beginners : i was arrogant enough to think that I wouldn’t need to script, but turns out I did. It helps a lot actually. Um to summarize what I want to say if you just shift willingly with out any prior knowledge of what you’d do. You’ll end up like me in my first shift to HxH. Something will go wrong and it’s not like a lucid dream where you can erase that. The bodies and such in that shift will know that such thing happened. Of course as the shifter you have the power to change that once you come back to your cr script that such thing never happened then shift back to your dr. Scripting is also important for just mentally reminding yourself why your there. So as I got used to the process of shifting I was able to shift without using the subliminals/meditation audio and I was able to reduce my affirmations by what I wanted to ensure happens during the shift. Rather then saying like oh “I’m the manager for Inarizaki high”or “I’m a smart student and school is easy.” Like as I continued to shift I didn’t need to say things like that. It was more of like “in this shift, this time I have to remember I have to talk to so and so.”

Anyways that’s kind of all I have to say about shifting. I hope this helps some people for more clarifications and such you can always ask google. 🧍🏻‍♀️ but ask me as a last resort because if not I’d probably end up confusing you more. Have a lovely rest of the day 💜

#shifting #how to shift

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v-hope · 4 years

Text

Coffee shop, 5:29PM — Tiger Flower

Thanking the waitress after she had placed your order on the table, you focused your attention on Jeongguk, watching him take a sip of his usual order of hot chocolate whenever the two of you went out together, before your eyes unconsciously travelled —for what could easily have been the hundredth time — back to the bouquet of flowers he had gotten you not even thirty minutes ago.

After almost crying and having thanked him over and over, the two of you had decided to take a little detour from your way back home to go get some coffee together instead —or well, one coffee, one hot chocolate, and one piece of cake to share, to be more precise— and, whatnot, spend some more quality time just the two of you for a little longer.

And as Jeongguk put his cup back down on the table, he couldn’t help but smile adoringly at the way you were ever so dreamily staring at the flowers.

“Have you always loved flowers this much?” he couldn’t help but wonder, drawing your attention to him.

“Liked them, always” you smiled softly. “Loved them, since high school”.

“High school?” his heart skipped a beat.

“Mhm…” you nodded, taking a small sip of your coffee. “I don’t know if you knew, but I used to have a secret admirer back then,” the heat reached your face at the mention of that, missing the way it had also reached Jeongguk’s on the other hand. “He would leave flowers on my seat every week… There was a point everyone in the classroom was talking about it though, so you might have heard”.

Jeongguk cleared his throat, nervously grabbing his fork and taking a bit of cake with it. “I did,” he rushed to swallow. “Everyone was really into trying to find out who it was”.

You laughed at said memory, taking a small bite of cake as well. “Yeah… I remember that”.

“So you love flowers because of that then?”

You nodded. “It’s more than that though, I…” a sigh escaped your lips, receiving a small nod from Guk for you to go on. “This is gonna be really emo and sappy,” you warned him, only to receive another nod for an answer. “But after Junseo cheated on me for the second time I was really miserable,” the sound of said name, along with hearing the way he had made you feel back then, made his blood boil. “And I became really toxic towards myself, like… I don’t know, I just kept bringing myself down and hating myself, because for some reason I thought it was my fault—”

“The only one at fault was that worthless asshole” Jeongguk spat, earning a cackle from you; both because of said insult and the bliss you felt at the fact that he was always so eager to defend you.

“I know that now,” you smiled sincerely. “But back then I didn’t, and for a good while I thought I was not good enough and no one would ever really love me, because honestly everyone always chose Sooyeon… or someone else over me…” your previous smile turned melancholic, and it took everything in Jeongguk not to reach for your hand right then. “And then when I was doing a little better I remembered the flowers and my secret admirer,” you lightened up, becoming visibly shy. “And I don’t know… I just thought, that maybe there is someone out there for me, who would choose me, and... ugh, this is turning so sappy”.

“It’s okay,” he was fast to reassure you when you covered your face with your hands, gently grabbing your wrists for you to let him see your face once again. “You can tell me”.

At his reassuring words and the way his soft eyes remained on you, you smiled, placing your hands back on the table, as he let go of them, and taking a deep breath before you went on.

“I mean, I’m not saying that my secret admirer particularly is the one for me, it’s been years after all,” you shook your head as a light laugh escaped your mouth. “But the fact that there was one person who felt that way about me, who for an entire year took some of his time to make me feel special, gives me hope that maybe there is someone else out there who will see me that way, too”.

“I’m sure there’s more than one person…” he mumbled, bringing his cup up to his mouth so he could take a sip of his hot chocolate.

And although his voice had been barely audible, you managed to hear his words nevertheless — a shy smile curving up your lips at the sound of that.

“So uh… yeah, that’s why I get so happy whenever I see flowers. They’re like a nice little reminder of that new mindset of mine” your eyes fixed once again on the bouquet, causing Jeongguk to smile wholeheartedly.

“Yeah… the look on your face whenever you see them says it all”.

“I guess I can’t really control it at this point” you chuckled, leaning back on your chair. “Although it was mostly one particular kind of flower, which I don’t really see much around… You know, like this orange lily with a few dots on it—”

“A tiger lily” he informed before he could stop himself.

“Yeah!” you agreed cheerfully. “You know them?”

“Uh, yeah…” he shifted on his seat, clearing his throat once again. “I saw you with them a few times and got curious, so…”

“I had to google the way they looked like to find their name as well,” you obliviously laughed. “I had never seen them until then”.

“Me neither” he lied, like it was so normal by now regarding this topic.

“But yeah, in the end I just ended up loving all kinds of them” you admitted, bringing your coffee up to your lips. “It would’ve been nice to know who it was though…”

“You never knew?” he went on, acting as oblivious as you.

You shook your head no. “I was really sad when no one confessed to me at our graduation…” you recalled. “I mean, it was a whole year, I really thought the flowers would be followed by a love confession or something, and everyday I waited for it... but then the year went on and no one did… and I was like ‘okay, maybe they plan on doing it at the graduation’, but nothing happened again and I…” you sighed. “I was really hoping for someone to come up to me and be like ‘hey there, I’m your flower boy, let’s date!’ but oh well”.

Jeongguk couldn’t help but laugh at that particular confession, shaking his head in amusement as you stared at him quite puzzled.

You were really something else.

“Hey there, I’m your flower boy?” he repeated in disbelief, laughing harder when you nodded ever so determinedly.

He had came up with and practiced so many lines during that year for the moment he confessed, and not once had he thought of such words. Then again, it was you the one he was confessing to; he should’ve guessed a simple, upfront and quite amusing confession would be what you would be content with.

“Yah! What’s so funny about it?” you crossed your arms over your chest when he chuckled once again.

“I don’t think anyone would confess that way, petal” he broke it to you.

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your amusement. “Why not? Gets the point across”.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right”.

“I wonder why they never did…” you puckered your lips as you were deep in thought, finally locking your eyes with his. “You would’ve confessed, right?”

That question alone was enough for him to almost choke on the hot beverage he had just sipped on. “W-What?”

“If you did that for the person you liked, I mean,” you elaborated, managing to calm him down at the realisation of you not assuming it had been him all along. “You would’ve confessed, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah…” he answered quietly, recalling that being his plan for a good while. “But, you know… maybe he thought you’d reject him if he ever did…”

“I would have never”.

“You’re just saying…”

“No, honestly. I’m being dead serious” you stated, causing his heart to jump at your determined semblance. “I was truly willing to give anyone a chance. Someone who makes such effort for me deserves at least that”.

“Maybe they were the exception…” Jeongguk shrugged. “Maybe they knew you wouldn’t feel that way about them no matter what”.

“No, I mean it” you stood your ground. “I… fuck, Guk, I wouldn’t have cared if it was one of my closest friends or someone I barely ever talked to, or even if it was a girl for that matter, I’m really not closed to the idea of love at all. Although I ended up narrowing it down to two guys, according to my own analysis” you laughed breathily, proudly nodding at your conclusion. “But yeah… I get that a relationship is more than just giving someone flowers, and maybe we wouldn’t have worked out in the end, but they would’ve had a chance with me for sure”.

And right then, for the first time, Jeongguk had to bite his tongue not to speak. Because having the person you currently have feelings for, who also happens to be your high school crush whose secret admirer you used to be, right in front, implicitly telling you she would have given you a chance if you had confessed back then, was enough to want to confess all over again.

But he was three years too late.

And he was your friend now.

And you had feelings for his best friend.

And, last but not least, the 18 year old Jeongguk who had been told you would never feel anything for him, no matter how hard he tried or how many flowers he got you, was still too insecure to ever let you know he had been your secret admirer all along; because, although you had just told him otherwise, he could not help but believe you truly wouldn’t have wanted him in particular to be it.

So, he said nothing.

“So you narrowed it down to two guys, you say?” he asked instead, having another bite of cake.

“Mhm…” you nodded quite eagerly. “Dohyun and Jinwoo”.

Jeongguk took another sip of his drink.

Pft.

Dohyun, one of your friends back then who wouldn’t even try to hide his crush on you.

Jinwoo, the guy who would always get your attention by annoying the hell out of you.

He wondered why them. Why them and not him. What did they have and he didn’t, what made them eligible as your possible suitors and not him.

But he wouldn’t get there, he had already asked enough. And you not suspecting of him was actually good, right? Your friendship wouldn’t become awkward because of something he did as a teenager.

And yet, a part of him really wanted you to notice it was him. Because he had came up with the idea of anonymously giving you flowers with the whole point of confessing to begin with, and having two other guys —who had never done shit to win you over— unintentionally taking the credit for it, did make every single effort to win you over he had ever made seem worthless than ever.

Fuck, he wished he could just stop giving a damn and tell you the truth for once and for all.

a/n: i know there might be a few things you guys won’t get (if you do tho you’re awesome), but everything will make sense (hopefully) the next part 👀

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

BTS Reaction || Fangirling Over Lee Felix [Request]

[BTS X Gender Neutral Reader] Fangirling Over Lee Felix’s Voice

STORY: You'd been dying all week to finally see Stray Kids perform Back Door at the award ceremony your boyfriend was taking you to watch since he and the rest of his band members were also going to be performing after Stray Kids. You were mostly excited to finally see Lee Felix and his amazing voice sing live, it had always interested you on how someone who looked so you and innocent could make his voice sound like the devil had possessed him. You fangirled a lot over him whenever your boyfriend wasn't around, but sometimes he'd catch you. He knew about Felix being your bias and it didn't tend to bother him because he never thought that you'd meet.

Seokjin:

As soon as Jin saw that giant smile on your face he knew he was in trouble, you hadn't stopped smiling like that since Stray Kids walked onto the stage and began performing the song, your eyes had been glued onto Felix - your bias - throughout the entire show and Jin felt overcome with jealously. He'd never been jealous before but this was raging inside of him, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to send out a silent message that you were his.

"They're great right, all amazing performers and ugh Felix's voice!" You giggled not hearing Felix and the rest of the boys were walking so close behind your table,

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show." You jumped a little suddenly hearing his voice come from right behind you,

"Hi! Sorry- I mean Hi." You were trying to remain as calm as possible but it was hard when someone you had liked for so long was finally talking to you. Jin's grip around you tightened and you suddenly remembered where you were and who you were with.

"Felix this is my boyfriend Kim Seokjin, Jin this is Lee Felix from Stray Kids." You introduced them and Jin stood up shaking Felix's hand but you could tell from the grip that he had on the poor boy that it was a tight one.

"Jin." You warned looking at him but he held onto Felix's hand and stared into his eyes as if they were having their own conversation without speaking to one another aloud.

"Felix we should go to our table." Minho said looking at you and then to Jin trying to help you out with your jealous boyfriend. Felix left and you smirked,

"I was just-"

"Sit down jealous ass." You teased sitting back in your chair and holding his hand under the table.

Yoongi:

"Wasn't that amazing!?" You asked as you stood backstage watching as Stray Kids did a small interview with the two idols presenting the show, Yoongi wrapped his arm around you and hummed in agreement not really giving you an answer but staring at Felix as he began making his way off stage.

"You never get this excited about seeing us perform." Yoongi scoffed at you and you rolled your eyes at him - you did and he knew that but right now he wasn't in the right mindset.

"Felix?" You called out wanting to tell them how great they did, he looked up to see you and Yoongi standing there and he smiled bowing to you both.

"You guys were great! Better than great you were awesome-"

"We get it they did amazing." Yoongi snapped and you brushed it off smiling at Felix and complimenting all of them again trying your best not to make a fool of yourself in front of him.

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you." He chuckled looking from you to Yoongi who was still holding you tightly and staring at Felix,

"This is my boyfriend Min Yoongi, Yoongi say hi-"

"Hi. I'm their boyfriend, it's nice to meet you...Felix was it?" You jabbed him playfully in the side, you didn't want him to come across rude to the younger boy.

"Sorry, he's just tired." You lied smiling at Felix who was starting to look a little worried about Yoongi,

"See you around." As soon as he left Yoongi smiled hugging you again but you pushed yourself away from him,

"Why did you act like that?" You giggled softly you didn't want to make this a big joke but it was kind of funny to see Yoongi acting so jealous around you all of a sudden. The last time he'd gotten jealous was when you first met the rest of the guys and they all began complimenting you.

"You're mine I just-"

"You got jealous? Yoongi I love you okay." He kissed your temple while nodding his head.

"I love you too."

Hoseok:

Felix was the one to come over to you and Hoseok backstage, he'd been dying to meet Hoseok since forever and it was finally a chance to do it.

"It's nice to finally meet you," He bowed to both of you and you smiled at him shaking your head,

"It's nice to meet you too, you were excellent out there." You complimented causing him to blush a little,

"T-Thank you." He started stuttering and that was when Hoseok wrapped his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek,

"Y/n are we still on for our date later?" You ignored Hoseok knowing he was just acting a little jealous because you were in front of another guy. He did the same thing when he caught you hanging out with Jungkook without him, he began pulling you close and kissing you to make it known that you're his.

"Hoseok-"

"No it's okay, He's just trying to let me know you're taken." Felix chuckled being able to read Hoseok's body language easily.

"He's an idiot, I'm sorry." You laughed but Felix assured you it was fine before walking away to the rest of his group. You turned to look Hoseok in the eyes and shook your head at him,

"You're an idiot, he's one of the sweetest guys-"

"I don't care how sweet he is, you're mine." He growled bringing you closer to him and kissing the top of your head.

Namjoon:

You and Felix had been friends for a while but it didn't stop you from fangirling about him and how amazing his voice was.

"His voice can get so deep Joonie! It's insane!" You laughed backstage watching as Felix began talking into the microphone, he was paired with Chan to present some of the awards for the evening. You hadn't noticed but Namjoon was getting more and more jealous with every passing second that you spoke about Felix.

"Oh they're coming-" You were cut off when you were turned around to face Namjoon and he began making out with you, putting his hands on the back of your head to hold you close to his lips as he could get you.

"Joon." You groaned pushing him away, you'd agreed when you first started dating that he didn't want PDA, that it wasn't something he wanted to do.

"I missed Felix." You groaned watching both him and Chan walking further backstage and away from you, you turned to Namjoon who had a smirk across his face.

"You should just be focused on me anyway." You groaned at him pushing him away and going to find the rest of the BTS boys instead of standing with your jealous boyfriend.

Jimin:

When Jimin got jealous he didn't want you to know about it so he subtly tried to deepen his voice throughout the night, you were sitting on the table with Stray Kids and talking to Felix instead of Jimin. He began wrapping his arm around the back of your chair to show off that you were with him and not Felix, then when that didn't work he began kissing the top of your hand or kissing your cheek whenever he could.

"It was nice to meet you, sorry about Jimin." You said as you and the boys all got up from the table, Jimin frowned wondering what you were saying sorry for.

"It's alright, he's just a little jealous and I would be too. You're gorgeous." He winked before walking away, you turned to look at Jimin who was pouting.

"I wasn't jealous." You smirked nodding along with him but not agreeing with him,

"Sure baby, that's why you kept deepening your voice whenever you spoke." He glared at you as you began laughing and walking out of the venue, but this wasn't over. He wasn't about to let you get away with thinking he was jealous even if he was.

Taehyung:

The moment Taehyung knew Felix was going to be at the event he was trying his best to make sure that you stayed close to him and didn't walk away from him and go to Felix. He trusted you, of course, but he didn't want you to go over and fangirl about Felix. He'd seen it a million times before, you adored everything the boy did and you had his photocard in the back of your phone - despite the fact that Taehyung had given you your own photo cards of him for you to use.

"I don't see the big deal, I can make my voice go that low it's not that hard." With that he then began to deepen his voice as he spoke to you right before he started choking, you handed him your water while rolling your eyes.

"I thought it wasn't hard." You smirked and he glared at you watching as Felix walked behind you and smiled, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to make it a point that you were taken by someone else.

"Tae!" You yelled looking at him as he spilt the bottle of water down on your lap making it look like you'd had an accident.

"I hate you," You lied getting up from the table and shaking your head.

Jungkook:

"Thank you Y/n it was nice to see you again," Felix said as he wrapped his arms around you in a friendly hug, he looked up at Jungkook expecting to see him smiling but caught him glaring back at him. He'd been doing it all night even though you'd been begging him to stop. You and Felix were close friends and had been since he moved to Korea but Jungkook didn't see it that way, he saw it as the younger male having a crush on you but never admitting it.

"Jungkook stop it or your face will be stuck like that," You warned him shaking your head when you saw how he was reacting towards Felix.

"Did I do something to offend him?" Felix asked suddenly feeling uneasy not wanting to upset the older boy but you shook your head before playfully pushing Jungkook away from you both.

"He just gets jealous easy and thinks you have a crush on me." Your smirked looking at Jungkook who was now glaring at you while he wrapped his arm around you protectively.

"He's got nothing to worry about." Felix promised you winking as he walked away from you and Jungkook, Jungkook licked his teeth before kissing you passionately as if he was trying to send a message.

Tagline:

@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @jooniesdarlingdimples @lynnthevirgo @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @callingmyangel @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @innersooya

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theonewiththefanfics · 4 years

Text

Because Hearts Get Broken - I Know That You’re Scared (Part 2/3)

Continuation of ‘Because Hearts Get Broken’ - see my masterlist for it :)

Synopsis: She’s trying to move on. He’s still hoping for a chance

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angsty, bruh, but with a sprinkle of fluff and a hopeful (??) ending

Warnings: swearing, emotionally distant mindset... can’t think of anything else, really.

Word count: 3656

Heartbreak isn’t loud. Y/N doesn’t even know if it had a sound what it would be like. Like glass shattering against the ground? Or maybe like a book being ripped and shredded apart, memories of time spent together ruined. Or maybe it'd like the crackle of a fire, as it slowly but surely crept up and turned everything into charred remains before it became nothing but ash and was carried away by the winds.

No one in her family talked about feelings. If they did all they received back was ‘suck it up. That’s life’. After that, it was time to move on. So, when she got together with probably the most open-hearted person in the world, it was almost laughable.

Y/N had always been the friend others went for advice, relationship or not, but she herself never asked for one, simply because she didn’t wanna bother anyone. Not that she thought the others were bothers. It’s just having grown up in a household where emotions were basically suppressed, opening up was quite impossible.

Then came Harry. Perfect, impossible, loving, sweet, kind, ridiculously open Harry. God, she just wanted to punch him because no one should be that nice.

January 2nd, 2020 he’d called her up, having gotten Y/N’s number from Sarah (after ages of pleading, because as much as Sarah sometimes couldn’t handle drunk Y/N, she’d defend and protect her until the very last breath), and they set up a coffee date.

Slowly but surely, they spent more and more time together and seeing as her job had her based in LA for a while, visiting Harry was no problem. Then the pandemic hit, and on March 18th the whole stay-at-home order was issued in California.

Y/N was in a panic. She was meant to leave LA in ten days, and the hotel her company was paying for had been paid until the 28th. With all flights getting rapidly cancelled, she was scrambling to get one, but even her firm was unable to get her a seat. That’s when Harry had called up, his tone a worried, urgent mess as to if Y/N was alright and what her plans were.

Of course, him being him, he immediately offered her a place to stay.

“We don’t even need to stay in the same room, there’s like five other guest rooms you can take up,” he tried to joke, and ease her tension.

“Fuck, Harry, just rub it in how rich you are.” Y/N cackled, and when she heard him laugh in the background, her heart did that stupid fluttery thing she’d grown so used to.

It took a little persuasion from Harry’s side, and reassurance at least seven more times, that Y/N wouldn’t be intruding on his space, and he was more than happy to spend the quarantine with someone else, instead of being alone, and that in no way her taking over a room or two would limit him and his own artistic endeavours. So, apprehensively Y/N packed her suitcases, grabbed an uber, wearing a mask the whole time, and drove to Harry’s place.

When Y/N saw the gated community and the palace he was living in, the inside of her cheek was practically bitten in half. They’d barely been together for three months, and now she was basically moving in with him, but given how it was either live with Harry in a fucking mansion or walk across the country to New York, she took the first option.

As much as Harry loved on her, pretty much shagging her brains out every possible second, and loving on her until her cheeks hurt from smiling, the anxiety about the whole situation never left.

Harry was worried about his mom and sister, Y/N was scared of what was happening in New York. So, when the state boarders opened, immediately, although reluctantly, she flew back to her apartment and her dying plants, but never forgetting to FaceTime with Harry. But they couldn't stay away long from one another.

Which is why they decided, given how she was able to work from home now, and Harry could do so as well, they’d fly over to one another every two weeks, quarantine together for the next two weeks, and then fly to the other place. Her boss actually loved the idea that Y/N was so willing to go back and forth between the two cities, so all her flights were written off as business expenses, not to mention when she said she wouldn’t need a hotel, he was more than thrilled to let her be in LA whenever she wanted, as long as her work got done.

It seemed funny to her now, that before Y/N couldn’t wait to get back to the sunny state of Cali. Now when she had to fly over (which was just a couple of times since the breakup), going through JFK security made her sweat, and landing was a vomit-inducing action. And the last time she’d gotten back to the home-base state, she’d actually thrown up, Harry’s last words ringing in her ears.

It’d been three weeks since Sarah’s New Year party, and three weeks since she’d spoken to him although he still kept calling. Every morning she’d wake up to a couple of notifications of missed calls, and each time she’d listen to the messages; it was all the same – I miss your voice. And every time she’d listen to it, her thoughts were exactly the same. You could say it was almost pathetic as to how many times she’d listened to his albums, just to hear him sing. Almost like he used to do right before she fell asleep.

But Y/N had no one else but herself to blame for it. She’d been the one to call it quits, she’d been the one who walked out of his apartment, and the one who decided she wouldn’t fight.

Now, she was sat by her small magazine table, documents spread out in front of her as if a tornado had rolled through, while an apple and cinnamon candle spread its delicious scent through the air.

Y/N would only admit it once because, well, the proof was all over the apartment, but she was very lazy when it came to taking away the Christmas décor. It made her feel warm and comfy. And it reminded her of Harry. How when she’d woken up after their first date, already in the new year, he still had colourful fairy lights strung across the curtain rods, giving everything a soft, cosy glow.

He’d also been the one who convinced her that a real Christmas tree was so much better than a plastic one.

“Yes, it’s a hassle,” he’d said through slurred words as they’d slinked away from the partying crowd after the countdown was done, and each of them had taken three shots of vodka. “But it’s so worth it. Smells like a fucking forest in your room. Like proper Christmas!”

And although she’d spent this holiday season alone, Harry had been right. Just like he’d been right about Y/N.

She tapped her pen against the glass surface and readjusted her position on the floor.

“This is the periodic table, noble gases stable, halogens and alkali react aggressively,” Y/N hummed as she highlighted the incorrect parts of the paper in front of her. “Each period will see new outer shells, while electrons are added moving to the right.”

Just as she was about to start off the second verse, her doorbell rang, and her stomach gurgled in response.

“Ugh,” she groaned to herself. “Pasta come to fuckin’ mama.”

But when she opened the door, she wasn’t greeted by the Uber Eats delivery man.

“Harry.”

Y/N was taken aback. She didn’t expect him to visit her, especially not so soon and especially to fly out to New York (as much as he was most likely there to do other stuff as well, her gut told her he was there for her).

Sure, she hoped that one day they could be friends, if not acquaintances, he was too important of a person for her to lose completely from her life, but that was looking like five years into the future.

“I bring gifts.” He raised his hand where her boxes of food hung in a paper bag. “Can I?”

“Uh, yeah, of course!” She shook her head to clear it from the shock and allowed Harry to enter into the warmth of her apartment and escape from the cold January air.

“I was on my way up when the delivery man came in, and I recognised by the boxes it was yours.” The smirk on Harry’s face was something Y/N loved to see, but usually, she liked to also wipe it away. Preferably with her own lips.

She let out a small scoff, not waiting to see if he followed inside, as she scurried to the adjacent kitchen and grabbed two plates, while he opened up the white cardboard containers and allowed the delicious smell of spaghetti Bolognese as well as a carbonara waft into the air. Y/N had wanted to eat the latter at some point during the night when the munchies hit, but she supposed Harry was probably hungry as well. “Maybe there’s someone else here, who likes Italian.”

“Probably, but only you would order from the shittiest Italian restaurant just because they have pesto and parmesan bread.”

“Hey!” She slapped his arm. “They’re not shit. They provide me with everything I need – calories, carbs and bread.”

“What more does a person need?”

“Exactly!”

Both of them let out small chuckles and then settled down on her couch to dig into the meal. They ate in silence, and despite Y/N’s initial shock, it wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, they were sitting pretty much shoulder to shoulder, as she watched Harry re-read the spread-out articles on the table and use her marker to tick some stuff that could use re-wording. He had a knack for words, after all.

“I uh…” He wiped his mouth with one of the napkins provided by the diner before clasping his fingers together and looking at the woman sitting next to him, as she slowly set her empty plate on the small cupboard beside the sofa. “I was hoping we could talk.”

Y/N hung her head. She should’ve known he wasn’t here to just check-in and have some dinner. “We already did. Twice might I add. What makes you think this time the ending will be different?”

“Third times the charm?” Harry let out a little laugh, and she rolled her eyes. “Look, I didn’t wanna leave everything the way I did. I – I said some pretty shit things.”

Y/N fiddled with her thumb. ‘I had,’ Harry’s words echoed in her head. ‘Only she didn’t trust that I loved her the same.’ “Nothing that was untrue though.”

“See, that’s where I think both of us are wrong.”

That was not what Y/N thought this conversation would be whatsoever.

“I – “ He cleared his throat. “I know I said I didn’t think you trusted me that I loved you enough. I think you know I did – do.”

If Y/N still had any food in her mouth she would’ve choked on it, as she bit back the rising lump in her throat, but instead of interrupting him, she let Harry continue. “And honestly, it’s not your fault that it fell apart, ‘s my fault too. I pushed you to do something, you didn’t want to, weren’t comfortable with, when you told me not to… just because I wanted to feel important, ‘nd because I wanted to get a role in your life you weren’t ready for yet. And I’m sorry for doing that. I should’ve never forced you.”

“Harry…” Y/N was at a complete loss. “I – I don’t really know what to say.”

He took her left hand in his and clasped it, finally able to properly say what'd been eating away at him. “During the New Year party, I didn’t go about it the right way. I was just – I was just still so hurt, and I wanted you to hurt the same because… it didn’t seem like you cared at all, which I know you did… I know you loved me, and…” He took in a deep breath. “I hope that you still do. At least enough to give us another chance. We can take it at your pace,” he instantly added, knowing how she’d react, expecting the sigh and the almost tired and resigned ‘Harry’ that escaped her lips. But he’d say everything on his mind. “You can take how long you need to feel like you can trust me with what’s bothering you.”

“Harry,” she repeated, but it didn’t seem like he was about to stop.

“But I think we can do it, and we can do it right this time. We know where we stand, we won't make the same mistakes.”

Y/N’s hand came to rest against his cheek, and he practically melted, engulfing her palm with his as to not let her touch leave his skin for even a second. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

“Look, I know, you’re scared, and the thing is, so am I. I don’t want it to end like that or end. Period. But I do want to try again.”

And if nothing but to humour him Y/N asked, “And if it does end the same way?”

“It won’t.” He was so sure of it, she had to laugh.

“Harry, the big difference between us is – you like to talk about your feelings. You like to go through them and stuff. I don’t. I feel… icky when I even think about talking to someone of what I feel. We’re just too opposite.”

“Opposites attract.”

“No,” she pointed a finger at him, stifling her laughter, though Harry seemed not to be hiding his smile. “Do not use science against me.”

He raised his hands as if in surrender. “I’m not, I’m just supporting my point with facts. Scientific facts, that you can’t argue against.”

“I mean…” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno… Maybe it was a good thing we ended it when we did. It was ten months – almost ten – amazing months, but… can you imagine if we’d gone so far as to think about moving in together, and then it fell apart? That would’ve been a whole different kind of a mess.”

“Do you love me?”

Y/N sighed, resting her cheek against the couch while she smoothed away his brown locks from his face. “Of course, I do. Don’t think there will be a time in my life I don’t.”

“Then that’s all I need.”

“Is that really enough for you?”

“Yes.”

And there was no lie in that single word. Did he want for Y/N to feel comfortable enough with him that she talked about whatever concerned her, however small? Of course. But he also wanted her to be comfortable enough to be herself. If that meant her keeping things to herself, and trusting Harry to support her decisions, it’d be enough.

Her Y/E/C eyes hadn’t left his green ones, and they only widened as he leaned forwards and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Haz…”

Fuck, how he’d missed her calling him that. It wasn’t an exclusive nickname by any means, but when it came from Y/N’s mouth, it was the sweetest sound in the universe.

He was her Haz when he broke a plate, he was her Haz when she threw her head back as pleasure exploded through her body, he was her Haz when he took her hand in his to quell her anxiety, and he was her Haz when he gave her tissues as they watched a movie, and she couldn’t help but cry each time a dog or cat died (or a dragon, but he was a sobbing mess as well because ‘Dragonheart’ messed with them both).

His lips were so close, and just as they skimmed over her own, Y/N’s phone rang making her physically spring back, eyes like saucers.

“S – Sorry,” she stammered, scrambling to find the annoying device between the cushions. It was Sarah’s name that lit up her screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” Y/N started, voice trembling and shaky. God, when had she suddenly gone so out of breath? And why was her head so dizzy, as if she’d just gotten off a rollercoaster?

“Yeah, he’s here,” she replied, eyeing Harry. “Yeah, just a sec,” and Y/N handed him her phone with a quiet ‘why’s your phone always dead?’

‘Didn’t know it died’, he said, but that was untrue. He’d turned it off so this sort of a situation wouldn’t happen; so a call or text wouldn’t interrupt him at the most critical moment. He had to give the universe a proper talk once he was done.

“ ‘Ello?”

Seconds of silence passed, and Y/N didn’t like how weird it was, so she took the empty plates and put them in the sink to soak.

“Now?”

She could see the frustration rise in Harry as his forehead creased, and he let a hand rake through his hair. “Fuck’s sake… yeah, I’ll be there in ten. ‘S alright,” he sighed. “Not your fault Sarah. Tell Jeff not to worry, and that I’m not dead.”

With that, he pressed the red button and ended the call, drumming his fingers against the screen. God, he really didn’t want to leave. Not now. Not after he’d been so close.

“Uh, work?” Y/N asked, arms crossed in front of her as if she was protecting herself from the answer.

“Yeah, sorry. I uh a meeting from tomorrow got rescheduled for tonight, like right now because there was some sort of an emergency from the label’s side."

“ ‘S alright, I get it. Showbiz never stops.” Y/N motioned to the door. “I’ll walk you out.”

There were a couple of times in his life Harry wanted to give himself a beating. Once when he was six and Gemma had told on him after he’d broken a favourite vase of their mothers, he decided to get revenge and destroy her favourite plushie. He’d never forget the tears Gem had cried, and how absolutely heartbroken she’d sounded. He vowed although he was the little brother, to never ever let anyone hurt her like that, and if someone did, they’d meet their maker sooner rather than later.

The second time was when he was still a teenager, One Direction on the rise, and it had gotten to his head just a little bit more than it should’ve. He’d gotten really messed up at a party (which Harry shouldn’t have even been at). The disappointment on his mother’s face as she scolded him through FaceTime was gut-wrenching enough to make him promise to always know the limit.

And Harry guessed this was the third time.

He could’ve said no to the meeting. Jeff was there and so was Sarah and Mitch. The three of them could handle it for him. It’s not like he would mind much whatever they came up with if it had given him the time to settle things with Y/N.

“It was great to see you, Harry.” She brought him out from the thoughts as she unlocked the door and opened it for him, bringing her jumper sleeves over her palms to hide from the cold outside air. “Really. I – I missed you, and honestly, I’m glad we got to talk. I uh well, take care. And say hi to Sarah from me please.”

“I – “ he took hold of Y/N’s wrist before she could turn away. “I’m holding a small concert in a week. Here in uh in New York. It’s for charity… I want you to come.”

“I umm… I’ll have to check if I’m free, but yeah. I will. Thank you.”

“ ‘S no problem… Sarah missed you like crazy now that you’re not in LA as often… ‘n yeah. Anyway. I’ll put your name on the guest list, so just bring some ID, and they’ll let you backstage.”

“Okay,” she whispered and gave him a small, genuine smile. “Thank you. I’ll really try to come.”

“Yeah.”

And he was going to go without doing anything else. Harry truly was. But as he released her wrist, going to the stairs, he gave Y/N one last glance back, and it was like his feet had a mind of their own, as they carried him back to where she stood by the still open door, grabbed her by the waist and pressed his lips to hers.

He expected Y/N to push him away, but to his very huge delight, she didn’t. Instead, her fingers wove through his hair and her legs almost on instinct rose so he could take her by the thighs, wrap them around his middle and press her against the doorway.

The groan that Harry swallowed from Y/N only ignited the fire that’d been burning ever since he met her, but it wasn’t the destructive kind, like the ones that leave nothing but charcoal behind. It was warm. Safe. Like the light of a fairy light. Like the embrace of home.

“Come to the show,” he muttered against Y/N’s lips, as they broke apart, and he set her down on the ground, not letting go until he was sure she was steady on her feet. “I’ll wait for you.”

With that, he left because if he didn’t, he’d make sure Y/N would be unable to walk for a week.

And Y/N watched him retreat while her brain fought with her heart.

What was it he’d sung in ‘Golden’, as he’d twirled her in the sea of bodies and glitter a little bit more than a year ago? ‘Loving is the antidote?’

Maybe love was the antidote to her fear.

She closed the door.

And smiled.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue @im-squished

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15 @breezykpop @girlboss99 @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist @alliyjane @sirtommyholland

A/N: I’ve been listening to ‘Fine Line’, ‘The Periodic Table Song’, ‘Welcome to the Christmas Parade’ (Welcome to the Black Parade mix with All I Want For Christmas) and ‘Rasputin’ Boney M remix exclusively... I feel like a complete crackhead... :D

Decided to tag also those who wanted a part 2 but didn’t necessarily ask to be tagged :)

P.S. I guess there will be a part 3???

P.S.S. if you wanna be added to a tag list drop me a message :)

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fandom #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x you #golden #fine line #one direction #one direction imagine #1d #1d fan fiction #harry styles angst #harry styles and y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles and you #harry styles and reader

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aewhore · 4 years

Note

Can you do a Rhea Ripley x fem!reader?Where the reader and Rhea have been dating for years,like the reader is two years younger then Rhea (so the reader is 22).The reader is the Raw women’s champion and has been for almost a year now.So Rhea and reader go against Nia,Shayna,and Io to not only win the tag team titles but get Rhea the NXT women’s championship.And after the match Rhea proposes to celebrate they’re wins.

To be the man you, got to beat the man ~ Rhea Ripley x reader

Summary: WrestleMania 2021 Rhea and you are doing double duty as you win the tag titles off Nia and Shayna, Rhea takes back her NXT women's championship and you retain the raw women's championship.

Word count: 4000 words (rip my sleep schedule)

WrestleMania 37 was building to be the ultimate test for both you and your girlfriend of nearly 2 years. Due to the success last year, WWE has decided to keep WrestleMania as a two night event. This weekend, on night 2 of WrestleMania Rhea was planning to reclaim the NXT women’s championship by ending Io Shirai’s nearly 300 day reign as you defended your Raw women’s championship against Charlotte Flair who had returned on the Raw after the royal rumble to win the elimination chamber. So not only were you both having the most important matches of your lives but also you both were pulling double duty as on night 1 you would be contending for the women’s tag team championship. This would be the most exhausting weekend you’ve ever had since you won the Raw women’s championship just under a year ago at Money in the bank when Becky relinquished her championship, making you the youngest Women's champion of all time at just 21 years old. You and Charlotte would be the main event of night two and the anxiety was starting to settle in. You had been undefeated your entire run so if you were to lose the night before your psyche would be thrown off entirely. You trusted Rhea of course but you didn’t want to let her down before her big fight with Io.

You were currently working out in your home gym, because Charlotte is a lot taller than you, you have to make sure you’re stronger and faster than Charlotte. “Hey babe, are you still going at it?” you didn’t hear Rhea come in after she had gone to the store for coffee. “Yeah baby, i need to be ready for this weekend.” You say as you restart your pull ups because you lost count. “Baby, I think you might be pushing yourself a bit too much.” Rhea says as she walks to stand in front of you. “Baby don’t worry, I just want to push my boundaries so that I’m faster than Charlotte” Rhea’s eyes soften as she looks at you sweating buckets after your nearly 2 hour workout session. “Babe, at least take a break and have a coffee date with me” You stop your pull ups, to look Rhea in the eye. Seeing her concern you fold. “Ok baby, i'll just run to the shower first and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” Rhea smiles at your compromise and you run to the shower before you and Rhea’s at home coffee date.

As the weekend drew closer and closer, your anxiety grew and grew. As champion you had tons and tons of media calls and appearances to do. A lot of the question that were being asked were about you and Rhea’s relationship and how you’ll celebrate if you bring all the gold home on Sunday night, but when you were on the phone to Sky sports the interviewer asked “So what happens if you fail to capture the gold but Rhea bring home the NXT championship, won’t that create a bit of tension maybe a bit of jealousy?” you were stunned by this question because although you had thought about it you had never heard someone else ask, the air was knocked out of your lungs as you remember how upset Rhea was last year when she lost her championship at WrestleMania, you remember how emotionally distraught she was, claiming she had let you down or disappointed you which couldn’t have been more wrong but there was no talking to her at the time. You couldn’t risk falling into that mindset. Your silence must have spoken volumes as the interviewer moved on. After the media calls finished the question continued to plague your mind, You passed Rhea’s office to see her still on the phone as her calls were planned to go on later. You hear Rhea laugh as she says “..yeah i couldn’t be happier to go for the tag championships with my best friend and partner… she’s the toughest woman I know so i think it’s a guarantee that we’re taking home all the gold come Sunday night.” You continue walking as your body fills with more dread as the idea of disappointing Rhea becomes more of a reality as the second pass.

Saturday comes around faster than anyone could anticipate as before you knew it you were standing in the stadium, looking at all the empty seats that would soon be filled by screaming fans. This would be your first ever WrestleMania and you were the main event! You heard Charlotte before you saw her. “What's the matter kid? Finally realizing you weren’t built for the champion’s life?” You straighten your shoulders to show Charlotte that you weren’t scared of her. You turn to face her and see she's glaring down at you with that same condescending look that she gave Rhea before their match last year but you weren’t about to let her get into your head. “Very funny Flair, because I’ve been living this champion’s life for a year while you were at home.” you quip back at Charlotte and her smirk falls. “You know that’s exactly the confidence that cost your little girlfriend” Charlotte’s smirk came back as your blood started to boil as the need to hit Charlotte grew inside you. “And playing those types of petty mind games is how I’m going to retain Sunday night. WOOO” Your confidence returns as you strut away from a stunned Charlotte.

You walk to the back where you find Rhea laying out her gear in your shared dressing room. “Hey baby” you say as you hug Rhea from behind. Rhea giggles as she feels you nuzzle into her back. “Hi darling, you ready to finally take those tag titles tonight?” Rhea excitedly asks as she turns around in your arms to hold you tightly to her chest. You lean up to quickly kiss her lips. “I’m so excited to bring those titles home” You and Rhea had been gunning for these tag titles since Shayna and Nia attacked you on Raw the week after Fastlane, That night Shayna made you pass out in the Kirifuda clutch. The week after when Shayna and Nia tried to ambush you again Rhea ran in and made the save, booking the match to open WrestleMania weekend. Rhea had beaten Shayna for the NXT championship two years ago and you had defeated Nia in Hell in a cell last year but you had never teamed together against them so this was new territory with familiar foes.

As you and Rhea got ready for your first fight of the weekend, it was deadly silent as you both got your games faces on. You huff out an angry breath as your wrist tape refused to work with you. You feel Rhea take the tape from you as she begins to perfectly wrap your wrist and hands. When she finishes wrapping your hands, she kisses your palms. “It’s a sign of luck” she says as she folds your hands into fists to put you in a fighting stance before you both devolve into giggles. The silence that you both fall into is comfortable as you bask in the calm before the storm. “Hey babe, I have to tell you, I love you and I’m so proud of you and no matter what happens this weekend, as long as I have you by my side I’m the happiest woman alive.” Rhea confesses as holds your hands in hers and raises your hand to kiss your knuckles. “I love you too baby, I can't wait to run this division with you” you say back as you can hear the crowds start to enter the arena and the excitement builds in the pit of your stomach. You and Rhea make eye contact one last time before returning to your individual gear bags to finish tying up your boots. You put your Raw championship belt on and left the dressing room hopefully for the last time as only a singles champ.

Rhea leaves the gorilla position first as her music blares over the speaker in the stadium as the audience launches to their feet in thunderous applause. The cheering only builds when your music starts and you join Rhea at the top of the ramp to confidently walk to the ring. You both wait in the ring as Shayna and Nia make their way to the ring, once they enter the ring you tell Rhea you’ll start and the boos rain in as Shayna enters the ring to start the match with you. Once the bell rings Rhea tags herself in, You smile as you get out of the ring letting Rhea take control of the start of the match against Shayna. Rhea and Shayna exchange hard blows and tough strikes before Shayna gets Rhea into the arm break spot, you rush to break it up but after you dropkick Shayna off your girlfriend's arm, Nia comes in to throw you outside the ring. You hit the floor with a sickening thud, leaving Rhea alone in the ring. Shayna tags in Nia as she starts to overpower Rhea with knees and slams.

You finally get back into the ring just in time to break up a pinning attempt by Nia. You roll back to your corner to grab the tag rope and start very kindly (but super aggressively) encourage Rhea to get back to your corner to tag out. She makes the hot tag to you and you clean house with dropkicks and high knees. Then it’s just you and Shayna in the ring, you had never fought Shayna before but you knew you had to keep your distance from her and stay off the ground, which proved to be easier said than done. When you and Shayna begin to exchange blows is when Shayna begins to gain the upper hand and before you know it Shayna has the kirifuda clutch locked in, you’re facing Rhea and you can see she’s barely on her feet. You try to roll towards the bottom rope when Shayna rolls you back into the center of the ring. You can feel your consciousness fading as Shayna’s starts to arch your back so the air leaves your lungs even faster. You feel Shayna suddenly release, you roll onto your back as you see Rhea kneeling above Shayna raining down punches on her before Nia returns back into the ring to drag Rhea outside the ring leaving you and Shayna down in separate corners of the ring. You are the first person up and you immediately deliver a earth shattering meteora to Shayna in the corner. She rolls into the center of the ring and you immediately know what you need to do and latch on your own Kirifuda clutch just like she had done to you 4 weeks previously.

You don't get the proper technique and Shayna is able to maneuver her way out but you can tell she’s visibly rattled by being caught in her own signature submission move. You prey on this sudden question in confidence by hitting her with a shining wizard and then you see Rhea is on the apron so you tag her in to finish the job and she immediately hits a picture perfect riptide on Shayna as you run to the other side of the ring to drop kick Nia off the apron and as you turn back around the referee’s hand comes down for the 3 count and the stadium erupts with roars of approval from the crowd. You run to Rhea and jump into her arms as she hugs you so tightly you think she’s broken a few ribs but you couldn’t care less as now you and Rhea are tag team champions. The ref hands you both the belts once you've dismounted from Rhea. You both climb to the top turnbuckle as you show off your new belts before climbing out of the ring and walking up the ramp with your arms wrapped around each other. Once you returned to the gorilla position you were greeted with applause from the backstage crew and the other wrestlers that were waiting to go out for their matches. You make your way to your dressing room as the adrenaline is still pumping through your veins. It was only when you sat down opposite each other and made eye contact when it finally settled into you that you both just won the tag team titles and immediately you started smiling at one another. “I don’t want to celebrate too hard till tomorrow” Rhea says with a laugh as you nod along with her. “I mean maybe we can have a little new title party back at the hotel” you start to wiggle your eyebrows at the end of your party invitation. “You’re so stupid” Rhea laughs at you super very serious offer. “Fine i’ll just have a solo party” you pout as you pack up your luggage. Rhea comes up behind you and puts her hands on your hips to lay gentle kisses on your neck. “What kind of tag team partner would I be if I left you to party all by yourself” You reach your hand back to run through Rhea’s hair. “We better get a move on then if we don’t want to miss the party” You say as you finish packing up your luggage and turn to kiss her on the lips before she goes to grab her luggage and the two of you return to your hotel for your party and to hopefully recover your bodies as best you can before your matches the next day.

Sunday morning rolled around and you awoke to sunshine beaming in your hotel window, you reached for Rhea but found her side of the bed cold before you heard the gentle hum of the shower running and then suddenly shutting off. You go to roll out of the bed before you realize how stiff your neck is. You reach to gently rub the back of your neck to measure just how painful it is. “Is your neck stiff baby?” Rhea asks as she steps out of the bathroom and into the bedroom as she starts to get dressed. “Yea i just woke up and i can barely move it.” You feel Rhea’s hand gently massage the muscle at the top of your neck. “Yeah Shayna’s clutch will do that to you, she had you wrapped up for a long time as well so that definitely didn’t help you” you grumble under your breath as you begin manifesting that this neck pain is is only temporary and does not last till your match tonight but you have a haunting feeling that will be the case.

When you and Rhea arrive at the stadium you immediately drop your stuff in your dressing room so you can start to stretch out the tension left in your muscles from yesterday's intense match. You can see Rhea doing the same as you know you’re both in for an uphill battle. Rhea is again opening the show with her NXT title. You and Rhea had decided not to be at ringside for each other's matches to ensure complete concentration. You had secretly agreed with Vince that if Rhea won you would be allowed to run out and celebrate with her. Rhea was pacing back and forth in the dressing room as she got into the zone. A stage hand came to give Rhea her 5 minute warning and as she went to walk you grabbed her arm to pull her into you “hey, you got this! The next time i see you, you’ll have that title around your waist ok? I love you.” You kiss her as she kisses you back and leaves the locker room to go get back her championship. You attempt to make yourself comfortable again as you look at the TV in your dressing room. When Rhea makes her entrance your anxiety is already eating you alive. You stop your pacing as Rhea bursts out from behind the curtain and the lights shine beautifully off Rhea’s tag belt and your heart can’t help but melt as Rhea beams at the roaring crowd. She makes it to the ring and hands the belt to the ref as Io makes her entrance. Once the bell rings it’s a fiery match up between your girlfriend and her arch nemesis. You can’t watch as Io gets the upper hand once she’s created enough space to fly but once Rhea regains the control you can’t contain your excitement. Rhea holds tight onto control of the match but as she goes for the riptide Io counters into a blistering hurricanrana and you hold your breath for the count but Rhea gets her shoulder up just in time to stop the count. You never get to re catch your breath as Rhea immediately gets Io into a prism trap and not before long Io taps. You immediately rush out past the curtain and the crowd roars as you rush down with your tag title around your waist and you grab the NXT title off the ref so that you could be the one to wrap in around Rhea’s waist as you raise her hand to the chorus of screams from the crowd. You open the ropes for Rhea as she goes to leave the ring. You and Rhea walk up the ramp hand in hand.

Once again you’re walking back through the curtain with another new title. You were insanely proud of Rhea and all she’s accomplished over this weekend. You were caught up in your daze so you didn’t see Charlotte walking past you till she knocked your shoulder. You stumbled back, Luckily Rhea caught you. You hear Charlotte say as she turns around to look at you “aw, how sweet, too bad your little party is gonna come crashing down when i take back what’s rightfully mine.” before you can say anything back she turns back and continues walking away. Rhea turns you forward and she pulls you along to your dressing room. “Don’t listen to her.. You're gonna crush her baby.” Rhea reassures you as she pulls you into her side. Once you reach the dressing room you can’t sit down with the amount of pure anger coursing through your veins. “I can’t believe she’s playing these mind games less than 3 hours before our match” you were furious at her petty attempts to get in your head and throw you off your game but you could let your mind linger on the fact that Charlotte was being petty because Rhea just won back her title so you rush to hug her and smother her face in kisses.

Rhea can’t help but laugh at your 180 turn from being furious at Charlotte to raining down a mirage of kisses and “I’m so proud of you” ’s. Rhea holds your face in her hands as she looks deep into your eyes “I hope you know i couldn’t have done this without you” She finishes by trailing you jaw with kisses before capturing your lips in a kiss filled with mutual love and pride at how far you’ve both come as individuals and as a couple. You had your fair share of ups and downs in the 2 years that you’ve been together but you always stayed by each other's side no matter what. You separate from your champion’s huddle when there was a knock on the door and Rhea’s family entered to celebrate her hard fought victory. You feel a sense of happiness as you watch Rhea animatedly recount to her parents the epic proportions of the match as if they hadn’t just watched it themselves. The conversation naturally moves towards the TV in the room as you all settle down to watch the remainder of the show before you have to go out there.

You don’t feel the time pass by but before you know it you’re getting your 20 warnings till it's time. Rhea’s family wishes you luck as you stand to go warm up. Rhea follows you out of the dressing room to hype you up before you have to go to gorilla. The clock ticks by as you get yourself into the big fight mindset. You saw Charlotte make her way towards gorilla as she would be making her entrance before you. She makes eye contact with you and you wink back at her, she glares back at you and goes through the curtain. You hear her music start to boom out over the stadium as the boo’s begin for Flair and her incessant Woo’s. Rhea kisses you on the lips as she locks eyes with you. “Ok listen baby, it’s now or never! I believe in you and I know for a fact that you’re going to crush her and bring this belt back home tonight” Rhea says as she points to the belt that’s strapped onto your waist, where it belongs. A stage assistant comes to bring you to the gorilla position where you wait for your cue to enter into the most important match of your career so far.

You feel the bass of your theme song as it rolls through the stadium and as you burst through the curtain into the bright lights of the top of the ramp. You stand on the top of the ramp and just bask in the hundreds of thousands of fans screaming for you. Your eyes lock onto Charlotte in the ring and they don’t leave her the whole way down the ramp to the ring. You high five the fans at ring side before walking up the stairs to enter the ring. When your music dies down the dueling chants for you and Charlotte begin as the tension builds both in the ring and in the stadium. Once the bells rings you expected your anxiety to shoot up but it vanished. It disappeared because you were in your element, this is what you were built for, what you trained since you were 15 years old to do and you were doing to fight with everything you had left in your body to keep what is rightfully yours.

The lock up between you and Charlotte is intense as you both have so much riding on this. Charlotte had to prove that she was 14 time champion for a reason and you had to prove that you were the best wrestler in this division and on the entire roster. The match progresses on with the two of you exchanging blows and moves, slowly building in violence as you both become more and more desperate to take home the belt. Charlotte goes for the figure 4 early on but you counter it into a prism trap as a tribute to Rhea but Charlotte escapes before you can really lock it in. The match continues to progress as the atmosphere in the stadium becomes pure electric as the crowd is captured by the show of pure athletic ability you were showing off. The battle between you and Charlotte wages on when suddenly you get a golden opportunity to hit your finisher the dragons leap (its a v trigger) and the second you hit it you know you struck the sweet spot at the back of Charlotte's head and she's out. The second you hear the refs hand come down for the three count it's like a dream. You can’t believe it, you finally did it. You proved to everyone that you were the very best and you could walk with the best of them. You stand up only to collapse into the turnbuckle as your emotions get the better of you and you start to cry from pure joy. You see Rhea sprint into your peripheral vision, like you had done; she takes the belt off of the ref and wraps it around your waist herself. You see she is also wearing her NXT women’s belt. She hands you your tag title as you both climb a ring post to pose with all your new gold. You look across at Rhea and become even more addicted to the sight of her literally dripping in belts and you realize that you would do anything to ensure that she stays that way.

You take your eyes off of Rhea as you turn to celebrate with the other side of the stadium when you hear the screams off the crowd increase by tenfold. You turn around and there is Rhea on one knee and your heart fills with so much love it damn near bursts in your chest as your eyes rapidly fill with tears. You can barely hear Rhea over the screams of the crowd and the thumping of your own heart but you watch her mouth as you see those four words and 15 letters came out of her mouth. You vigorously nod your head as Rhea leaps up to put your engagement ring on your finger, she lifts you off the ground as for the thousandth time since you met the aussi she swept you off your feet. You physically couldn't be happier as the closing shot of WrestleMania was you and your fiancée holding all the belts and sharing one last kiss before the show went off the air.

#rhea ripley #rhea ripley imagine #rhea ripley fanfic #rhea ripley fancfiction #nxt #nxt fanfiction #nxt imagine #wwe fanfiction #wwe imagine #wwe #wrestlemania #charlotte flair #i dont know #im sorry #pls dont hate me #i tried my best #i legit spent like a week on this soooo #love me

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grannygerd · 3 years

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LYNN GUNN SHARES THE ONE THING SHE WISHES SHE COULD DO OVER AND MORE

The artist also shares the best meal she's ever had and the best fan interaction.

[Photo by: Sasha Samsonova]

PVRIS’ fearless leader Lynn Gunn ponders genres, the best-ever fan-dad interaction and comes clean about what she really wants a do-over on.

AN INSTRUMENT YOU WOULD LIKE TO OWN.

There’s something pretty magical about an old, worn upright piano—if it’s tuned and maintained. Makes for some great ideas. Or maybe a harp. If I had one around, I know I’d force myself to learn it. [Laughs.]

IF GENRES ARE STILL A THING.

In some ways, yes. Others, no. I think putting artists into specific genres is starting to be defined less on the instrumentals [and] production and being defined now through the culture, mindset [and] methods they’re created in. So many “genres” are being mixed and combined to create entirely new soundscapes that really blur the lines and make them hard to pin down. I think in each of those, there are specific threads—in the community, collaborators, etc.—that the idea and specifications of what makes a “genre” seem like it’s being reimagined.

In a perfect world, we’d just listen to music and not have to think about where it “belongs.” I still think compartmentalizing and categorizing is human nature, so it’s a hard thing to break. But it can be extremely hindering, not only for artists but for listeners. Music should be able to exist on its own terms.

IF MUSIC WASN’T AN OPTION.

There are a lot of things I’d love to try even while music is an option. I’ve always been heavily involved, when allowed, in our creative direction—music videos, graphic design, merchandise, album artwork, photos, etc.—so that would be a fun overall pursuit to creative direct for other artists or even just different brands or companies. I think any other creative pursuit, leaning in the visual world, would be the other option.

THE DAD JOKE YOU ACTUALLY LAUGHED AT.

Ha! It was my actual dad’s joke. He’s pretty old school and present in real life, so he doesn’t use his phone or text often, but usually once every few weeks while I’m away, he’ll send me a really funny text. The last one he sent was: “Just saw a road work sign on the way home that said ‘Be prepared to stop.’ If I’m not prepared, should I not stop? Just wondering.”

THE TIME YOU GOT REALLY ANGRY ONSTAGE.

Anger is hard to think of, but I have no problem finding frustration, and that was with myself. I was working through a lot of vocal issues for pretty much the entire touring cycle for our second record [All We Know Of Heaven, All We Need Of Hell]. [I] had to get up onstage every night with a voice that could only really do 20% of what I’m normally capable of. Some nights were brutal. I got so mad at myself onstage, but I tried my best to hide it. It was one of the most challenging and frustrating things to work through, but it taught me so much, and I’m very grateful for what [I’ve learned].

THE PLACE YOU HAVE YET TO VISIT.

I’m dying to go to Iceland. One of my friends went recently and said it was truly magical. Egypt is on my list, too. I was fascinated with ancient Egypt as a kid and still have a strange affinity toward it.

THE BEST MEAL YOU EVER HAD.

Brian [MacDonald, bass/keyboards] and I strive to eat a delicious meal wherever we are in the world. We make it a priority in every city to find great restaurants. But recently, one of the best meals I’ve had that really stood out was at my friend’s home: It was just a bunch of assorted grilled veggies and rice, but it was seasoned so well and made with so much love. You could honestly taste it.

THE THING YOU RECENTLY WITNESSED THAT MADE YOU THINK THE WORLD IS GOOD.

I try to see it every day. Even down to the smallest things. Simply smiling to a stranger you’re walking past or having a lighthearted exchange with a barista [or] waiter. Even simply getting onstage and looking at the crowd some days, the fact that hundreds of people can gather together and be unified by something that gives them joy—music—and exist peacefully and be unified in those environments, for the most part, is a clear sign of that.

I think at our core, we really are good at heart, and all we want is to connect with each other. Some of us are just harder to crack [and] more cautious than others. I think a lot of people have a hard time looking away from their own struggles to even notice [that] witnessing the good has to start in your own self a lot of the time.

THE MOST AWESOME FAN INTERACTION.

It was actually the most awesome interaction with a fan’s dad! We had a long flight to Belgium one day. A fan’s dad was one of the flight attendants and recognized us and upgraded our entire band and crew to first class. It was a godsend because the night before, some of us had to drive from New York City to New Hampshire and back overnight because we’d forgotten a legal document that we’d need at customs when we arrived in Belgium. Everyone was a bit sleep-deprived and about to board for a six-plus-hour flight, so we were extremely grateful for that.

THE THING YOU WOULD LIKE A DO-OVER ON.

My style, hair and makeup choices from the entire White Noise era. Seriously. Insert [the] world’s biggest facepalm ever. I don’t know what I was thinking. I cringe when I see old pictures sometimes. [Laughs.]

This 10 Topics interview appeared in issue 374.

July 29th, 2021

#alt press #alternative press #pvris #lynn gunn #lynn gvnn #lyndsey gunnulfsen

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rosyk · 3 years

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Clichè

pairing: lee minho x reader

genre: heavy or light angst, fluff, marriage, misunderstandings

warnings: light curses, situations that involves deep anger or sadness, mentions of disease, death(?)

word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hi it’s your gal, rosyk. I’m back with writing fanfictions and it’s like 4 in the morning. I haven’t slept yet so there are many grammatically incorrect sentences or spelling errors. Hope you enjoy this one though! (Inspired by Dear John- Taylor Swift)

I sat by the car, the same old one he and I used to drive in. This was a simple car but we swore to use this for our wedding since memories are still stuck. It made me wonder what could’ve happened if everything went right? What would’ve happened to us if there were no obstacles in life? It then made me realize that indeed there were no obstacles, none other than you.

I drove the car to meet your sister who desperately needed to talk to me. She said there were secrets I needed to know but I get the gist of what she’s trying to do. Set me up? Trap me? Convince me? So I could be tempted to get back into your cage? I don’t want that to happen, never again. I’m sick and tired of this one-sided relationship I never noticed because I was blinded. Aced all my tests, I am smart. But when it comes to you, I look like a whole fool trying to fall in love with a guy who gave up. This is why I wanted to show her that I’ve moved on, at least based on my view. Wearing both of my earphones and played our song, I sighed deeply and continued to drive along Cornelia street. My days only revolved around you but what exactly went wrong in between us? Scratch that, what happened to you?

Back then, all I could do was love you. Not less but everything more. I could never stand loving you lesser each day. It’s not on obsessing but to the point that I recognize your feelings though still, I try to force myself. You know how I do grow tired from time to time, but that’s all because I care for you. There’s not much positivity from that though. The downfall happens when I love you much more than you feel for me. It was never equal no matter how I try to persuade myself, desperately needing your affection.

My mother used to tell me how crazy I was to fall for a guy like you. How was I supposed to tell her you were fine since then? Yesterday, you rained me with care. On Friday, you sucked it all up and acted as if nothing happened. All I could do was pray that the guy I used to know, is the one I’ll meet today and greet me in front of the door with wide gentle hugs.

You give me hope, then take it back all at once. I remembered a sunny sky in blue that suddenly turned grey after you decided to shrug me off several times. I was in your tiny piece of chess game. Though you change the rules every day, hoping I would give up until the end. What’s funny is that typically families opposing would be the ones who would give tests to both of the couples to prove their love. And yet, you were the one who was trying to give me a hard time and when I was lost in the thought of giving you up, you decided to save me at the end of the day.

You were a puzzle I couldn’t solve. Little did I know, there was a missing piece I could never find until then. Just like a whole puzzle, you were complicated but due to my drive and need, I had to hang on to my aim. I had to do it because I was convinced by all your “sorry“. Or maybe it’s just me trying to change my mindset to find a reason to stay because I knew there was no difference between all your other sorrys before.

“Which Minho would I be able to talk to on the phone?” It runs through my mind each Sunday of my life and gives me anxiety. But every time I hear the phone ring? I never hesitated to pick it up. No matter what kind of guy I am faced with, I wanted to know deeper why you were acting so confusing. But on that single day, I didn’t pick up the phone. I cried and had sleepless nights. My worst nightmare just came and here’s why:

“Don’t you think this is a good improvement? We’ll sit by the couch and place a big screen tv.” You placed your arm above my shoulder and I continued your lovely story.

“Then we’ll watch your performances?” I looked at you in the eye, grinning as you smirked at my idea. You hummed in question and tilted your head. “Lee Minho, the most famous kpop idol who reached internationally and was supported by his lovely fans” I placed both of my hands above, imaging a billboard banner with your name and face on it. Thousands of people watching and idolizing you.

“Really?” You shifted your position into a more comfortable one as I leaned on your chest. Nodding at my suggestion, you pressed your lips together and listened to me, getting all happy after trying to predict and set goals in our lives.

“Of course! Why not?” I turned my head to face you and gave you a slight hit. “I could feel the energy of the universe as if it's trying to tell me that was our fate” You playfully laughed at the girl in front of you who is telling such an exaggerating fairytale. “Besides, ” I went back to my position and grabbed your arms around my waist. “Your number one fan is just a surgeon anyway” You responded with an oh? as you began to get amused with my statements. “A surgeon who never failed to help people even in a situation full of pressure. The best surgeon in the district” I smiled in a bragging manner, lifting my hand to flip my hair.

“I like that” you nodded in approval. “But don’t you think it’s much better with the title, the best surgeon found around the world?” My eyes lit up with stars because indeed that was a better match. I grinned and raised my eyebrow.

“That’s better” an idea popped up and so I turned back once again. You looked at me in confusion and waited until I would continue what I wanted to say. “But how about the dating ban? Does that mean we have to keep it low?” You looked at me concerningly and so I did. Panic arose in my mind. “Or maybe we-“

You placed your hand up my lip and shushed me. Everything is going to be fine, you tried to assure me. Lifting up your hand and caressed my face, you continued and stared at my pouty lips. “Of course not. It’s you,” with a silent pause, you pointed directly at me with a lovingly stare “and I” you did the same back at yourself and held my hand, enclosing it together. “against the whole world”. You chuckled whilst you tipped your forehead on mines.

“Too cliché” I laughed at you but no doubt that made my heart flutter. Oh, how I wish he knew how much I love him.

[MONTHS LATER]

“Do you have everything packed?” I sighed deeply the minute I rummaged through the closet. I stopped as soon as I saw the yellow hoodie hung inside. “You forgot the hoodie!” I chuckled though scared, deeply hoping this isn’t what I think it is.

“That’s your favorite. Keep it” he smiled but those words pierced straight through me. I felt what he meant. My last token for our relationship, isn’t it? What happened to all those you and I against the world? Were all those just things to make me feel relieved?

“Oh” I responded dryly and gulped, pressing my lips together to stop these drops from falling. “Mhm, ’kay” I closed the closet and faced the guy who’ll soon be leaving. “Go” You looked at me with pity and everything I didn’t want to see in your eyes. I’m okay, at least that’s what I like to believe. As I was busy trying to act tough because I don’t want you to see me being vulnerable once again, you gave me the warmth I needed. A necessity in my dark days.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone, maybe quite busy but I’d never wanted to split up with you” I finally cried after everything. It was a big wash down of emotions and you felt sorry again. It was a painful sight for you, I know.

“But those hoodies..” sniffs went in between those sobs. As usual, you tried to assure me by caressing my face. It was an act to show that we’ll still stay the same.

“I want you to return this to me after I become an idol. I want you to promise you’ll hold on to us. Wait for me okay?” That was the first and last time I’ve ever seen you cry. It hurts deep bad, but I didn’t want to be an obstacle to your goal as well. I’ll wait no matter how many years it may take.

[DECEMBER OF 2018]

Hey, I’m not sure if you still received my letters. It’s been long, don’t you think? I feel like you don’t remember me anymore but I was your first love haha. Would you still be able to know me after I come back there? I’ve heard you all over the news. Minho, the guy who brought K-pop internationally and broke the Billboard charts. I told you that you’d make it. Me? I’m now a surgeon. Not internationally, but definitely in the district. I’ll get there soon, right? One more question, can I return the hoodie? I did wait for you, hoping you did as well.

I sighed for only God knows how many times for this day. The more I’ve been sending letters, the less I’ve been receiving.

I held on to the letter and got up from my bed after hearing a call once again. The last time I was able to sleep was decades ago and so I had to go back to work. Luckily, it wasn’t a heavy operation but I just had to check-in by the hospital to get the patient’s results.

“Good afternoon, Mrs!.” My patient joked and I could clearly see my best friend smirking.

“Maddie! Stay safe when you get home alright?” I smiled greeting the patient who joked before getting ready to leave

“Hey, hey it’s not too safe to go outside yet. Call someone to assist you. Take care!” Another response of mine was said after a boy who was operated on and took rest for three weeks passed by me.

Beaming from ear to ear, I squealed and hugged my best friend tight. “ALICEEE!” It’s been years since I’ve seen her. She accompanied Min on his way to Korea. And before any of the readers misunderstand, they are siblings. Quite awkward at first if I must say but it’s great to know lots of information about him.

“Hush, we’re in your workplace. You told me that, right? Alice, don’t scream or get hyper whenever you’d come back here.” She mimicked the way I talked in an insulting manner, not that I’m offended by it. We just like to mimic one’s tone as a sign of sarcasm. “Well, look who’s talking?” She furrowed both of her eyebrows as I laughed and took my hands off her.

“So how was Korea, Lisa? Did you find someone? Maybe that guy who you friend-zoned at?” I started chuckling after seeing her blank face. It was honestly funnier to see her reaction. Her stop-it-kind-of-face made my laugh gradually get lower but never failed to make a remark soon after. I thought of someone and so I tried to casually ask her about it. “How are you and Min? Was Korea that good? Just wanted to ask because I’m scared to get into their hospital” I shrugged it off but saw her eyebrow raise. Of course, she always knows what’s up.

“So is this why you’re called Mrs.? Mrs. Lee?” Now it was her turn to laugh. I playfully pouted and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I acted all offended, placing my hand to my chest as if I took it to heart “It’s miss for you, Mrs. friend-zoned” Rolling my eyes and entered my room, her never-ending saga of teasing me continued.

An hour came by after packing all my things left in the hospital room and we talked about our lives. She still never told me a single thing about Min because of her chattiness. We got in the car and went to the airport. My flight has been called and so I had to leave.

“Wish we could’ve spent more time. I’ll come back soon anyways after visiting the hospital” she hugged me so tight causing me to be so confused.

“Min.. I tried to talk to him” I looked at her in the eye asking for some problems that happened years before. Though no words that came out of her were expected.

“But he didn’t want to hear anything about you”

Hours came by like a flash but my thoughts filling out my mind went by for years. I arrived at my destination but is this truly where I am destined to be in? I knew there was something much more than her words because her voice was shaky.

I didn’t leave a single minute to go by my hospital though. Work always comes by my mind. But usually, I would hang by the café in your building hoping to see you pass by. There were no people because I was busy studying late at night after the closing time. It was scary, but I was too busy to notice.

“I miss you! I’ll come by soon, okay? You better wait for me, sweetie. Love you, take care!” I smiled after hearing my patient’s voice. She was a lovely kid and it seems like I wasn’t the only one missing her as well. It had just been a day yet Yeina has been panicking through the whole call.

“Got a boyfriend now?” The one who talked suddenly came up near my seat and giggled. It was cute but I was busy closing all my documents. Besides, it was not that important. I responded unknowingly but was cut after hearing the voice.

“No, it was my patient. She’s a cute kid” I looked up and God-, was that the biggest thing I regretted but enjoyed at the same time. The guy I waited for years was the same guy who didn’t want to hear anything that involves me. The guy who didn’t want to talk, approached me first with the same smile as if nothing happened. I don’t know what to feel nor what to say. It took whole 5 minutes of me trying to smile awkwardly.

“So, no hugs, internationally known surgeon who cured people around the world for the guy who is loved by his lovely fans?” You looked at me shocked but smiled as soon as I got back to my senses. Everything still remained vivid in your head when I thought it wouldn’t be.

I went up to you and cried in your embrace. The same warmth, it never changed even after all those years. “I thought you had forgotten” I tried to explain though it came out as short phrases because of my sobs. You held my head to nuzzle near your neck and caressed my hair, patting in between.

“Thank you for waiting even in tough times. You did good, doctor”

[WEEKS LATER]

Yes, it just had been weeks. Everything was good but turned downhill soon after. I don’t know what’s hitting on you because you just turned.. off.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” I yelled after you constantly trying to ignore me. “Wow, so now you’re deaf?” I exclaimed as I held on to your arm and making you turn around and face me.

“You wouldn’t understand anyway!” Loud shoutings were just everything that was heard in the room. I am patient but was frustrated that moment you took on that dumb decision.

“So now I was wrong here? YOU QUITTED THAT FKING JOB OF YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT? YOU FELT BORED? The world doesn’t adjust for you! It’s not like you are the reason why the Earth revolves! It’s not easy to find a new goal and get it as soon as possible!” I expressed all my thoughts because things weren’t matching up. Who the hell leaves something just because he or she was bored? I felt like there was something more to it but why do you seem so nonchalant about it? It was that easy of a decision to make?

“SHIT!” You grabbed the vase and smashed it on the floor. That shocked me. I was clearly shaking yet I tried to stand by my point.

“Why did you come back here anyway?” I felt the world stopped. No, because he was actually true. Why did I come back here? Expecting that the love of my life would be the same even when it had been years he didn’t bother to call? Even after all these years, the guy I waited for would remain the same? After all the dating issues, he would stay irrelevant and think of me every day? I was just a surgeon not even known worldwide. Who am I to him?

“You’re right. I’m nothing to you anyway.” I packed up quickly placing all of my clothes unorganized. It was easy to get into someone but how is leaving not the same?

You tried calling me out but I left due to my blind optimism over the week. I came back to Korea but you soon got me with all those sorry. That was just a single moment that left a scar on me deeply. But now that I think of it, I was used to it because you were an on and off switch

The first day of a week you asked me out on a date then suddenly you claimed to have forgotten about it. You’d tell me how much you loved me, yet add me to the list of traitors who wouldn’t understand a single thing. It was basically just a love or leave me game of yours. It went on for months that I was tired of it. Sick of everything else but you suddenly turned nice again. I waited for the moment you would hate me as usual but it never came by. Was it because you finally realized how much you had hurt me or were you trying to be nice because you were planning a sudden break-up. Maybe a Dear Jane letter? I was scared because I feel like it was more of the latter.

But after all the overthinking, another unexpected thing came by. You spoke the words:

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through after everything I’ve done. It hurts so bad and I don’t want to see you taking all that pain anymore. I never had forgotten about you not even a single bit of my life. I made decisions that could lessen your pride and was also close-minded with all your opinions. But my love for you stays true which is why I wanted to stop seeing you cry. The only tears I’ll ever allow you to shed is the one I needed all my life. The words I wanted to wait for you on. This might be the most clichè thing you’ll ever see, but will you marry me?”

I could never get over that preparation of yours. Because who’d knew you were actually into those surprises? I looked at the ring and smiled at it. How precious this is to me. But time surely passes by fast.

Looking at myself in a white gown, we passed by on lots of obstacles but it felt like yesterday even though it took even years to convince my mother and bless the marriage. She allowed but was forced to.

I still remembered how my mom used to hit me several times every day just to understand if there was something wrong with my head, but apologized soon after because she believed my father was watching from heaven. Mom had many beliefs and one of them was to ask my father whether to accept me. She used to tell me with not a missing day left aside, “run as fast as you can”. Up until now, I find it too hilarious.

“Aren’t you rushing too much? You’re still nineteen” the one who placed my natural makeup on, whispered in my ear.

That was what I was scared of. I was anxious about getting hurt at 19 what more if I was getting married then it went downhill when I was 19? But you were a risk I was willing to take every day, so why not? I know you’ll stay true to your words, I just know so.

“No” I responded short and smiled at myself for acting so brave with my thoughts. I went out of the hall and looked up to my mother who was dressed up so nicely. Sure, the girl who took time dressing me up, definitely did not say she wouldn’t attend if I marry Minho. I sarcastically remarked at her logic.

“So where’s that guy? It’s been 15 minutes since the guests have arrived!” She placed her hand on her hip and tapped her feet on the floor impatiently.

“Ma, he will arrive” I assured my mother and hugged her after I saw a glimpse of tears on her face. Of course, she raised me, and to finally see me with a guy who will take care of me then, she would be brought into tears. She told me once, before the wedding starts, all her thoughts including how she was sad about me leaving but happy about me finding and receiving the love I am willing to fight for. She doesn’t show it as much but she knows how much of a good guy Min is.

“You’ll be Mrs. Lee minutes later!” I found Lisa near the entrance and hugged her. “I told you we would have the same last name years ago!” she continued

Minutes came by and indeed you look handsome in a tux. Everything was worth the wait. You were worth waiting for. We’ve said our vows that express our love would remain until forever runs out, and it was truly you and I together against the world.

[PRESENT]

At least that is what was supposed to happen.

Your dumb-ass mind left me hanging and crying on the white dress. Everything was prepared and you suddenly decided not to show up? You were claiming you had forgotten? What kind of excuse is that? You were no doubt an expert on saying sorry. Just because, you were an exception when it comes to me not being forgiving. Just because, you’d know how to get me back. With a single smile, sorry, that’s it! My mind would start to revolve once around you, playing hide and seek or chase. I was always the one chasing and I’m tired of having to run a hundred miles just to get that love I wanted, which you never wanted to give anyway. It’s all you and your sick need of giving love and taking it away.

Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in a white dress who was supposedly having fun on her grand day, went away and started crying? I should’ve followed what my mom said. You should’ve known and I should’ve seen. I was played, you were the one who controlled the game.

“Where will you take me, Alice?” Truly, it’s hard to have feelings for a guy who is the brother of your best friend. If things go wrong, then clearly your friendship is over.

“To him” you responded shortly, tightening your grip on my wrist.

“Stop. I don’t want to go.” I forced her hand off me and whined in a frustrated manner because clearly, you screwed up Alice.

“Could you please stop?! I’m sick of this! He doesn’t have to hide it forever!” You looked away and continued dragging me as soon as I stopped. Hiding what now?

I don’t know what to say when I meet you. Scratch that, I didn’t even want to meet you anymore. Because what if this habit of mine comes up and actually accepts you? I’m tired of it but there’s just something that makes me want to hold onto the love or something that isn’t in you anymore.

You took me in a place so questionable as you stopped and cried. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and yet you say it was the right place. That can’t be, right? How did this happen? Shaky hands, dry throat, words don’t come out my lips. “I’m sorry” I didn’t know why that was the only thing that escaped from my tongue. I did not accept it yet because I belived that wasn’t reality.

Lisa took me to a hospital in which I saw you laying down, unconscious.

I could do nothing but curl down. I was hurt but I never did ask for this. “Alicia, since when?”

“The doctor told me he had cancer way before you went back to Korea. This is why he didn’t want me to talk about you because he gets hurt and couldn’t even imagine what you would do in lengths just to cure him. He used to joke about how you loved him the same way he did. Side effects? Memory loss, sudden mood swings. You know, he was the same guy you knew in the past. Except, he had gotten braver of leaving you behind just so you wouldn’t get into more pain as to seeing his condition. He was very open but he thought of decisions way better when it comes to you than of himself. He loved you every single day of his life and I do know how he misses your touch, crying himself to sleep. He faced a much harder life, missy. As to the wedding, he said he had forgotten about it but it was more due to the reason of having a husband that wasn’t able to take care of until the end of the world, when he promised you to. It was because of a guy not being able to see you getting known worldwide nor exposing you in all medias, when he wanted you to. It was because of a man who simply wanted you to be happy, because he needed that too.”

This is the point where my world started to crash. It wasn’t you who should’ve known. It was me. I should’ve been there at times you need someone to rely on. I based on my selfishness and need for love, not knowing that what I need was the thing that kept me from hurting. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I’m sorry for not opening up all my thoughts about you. I’m sorry because I left you fighting against the world, and I stood by just watching. I felt as if I was the person who was miserable and yet it was you who was trying to act tough.

Lisa continued to tell all those hidden words of yours “I even remembered the time he continued blaming himself for hurting you but concluded that it was everything that he could do. His situation isn’t something that can be fixed and he knows about that even if he wasn’t told about the months he have left. He told me that once you come back and see how bad of a person he is for leaving you all alone and asking you to wait, I am allowed to tell you everything once you’ve moved on.” The girl I’m talking with continued crying filling out the silence I make.

It was a shock and seeing you were the only thing that made me cry deeply. I couldn’t breathe as my chest weighed heavily. I grasped my shirt as I was desperately needing to calm down. But none of this sight made me calm down. I understood the situation I did, but it was too far, in reality, to keep it in check. You were unconscious and Lisa wanted to let me see you before your last breath. Standing up, I cried up to you.

“Idiot” I sniffed, Trying to act strong and let it all out but that’s everything I could only say. “You said our story was cliché. What happened to the true love’s kiss that wakes one up?” I kneeled down and held your hand with the ring that was encircling your fingers. I felt the cold air as tears continued flowing. I kissed your hand and gulped, crying helplessly. Is there really nothing I could do?

“The last time he saw you were way back you were able to smile again. He said it was a blissful sight to see and he would be happy even if that were to be the last time.” Lisa explained and cried her heart out as well after seeing such a painful sight.

“You do know you can see me every day right? Wouldn’t that be nice?” I tried to persuade an unconscious body who can’t hear my words. “Hey, wake up” I clasped our hands together and entwined both. “I’m here, so wake up. I’ll be with you until the end okay?” The volume of my talks gradually decreases but I still believe you can open your eyes up. I know so. I know that at this very time you could still see me and hug me, letting me feel the same warmth I needed once again. “I’ll be with you and it’s still going to be you and I against the world. Cliché right? I know you’ll never miss a chance to tease me when I take that cheesy statement. So please do. Please wake up and talk to me once again. I am here for you.. always and forevermore”

I closed my eyes and heard the beeping of the machine. I looked at you and the monitor that showed a single, straight line. I sighed deeply and my heartbeat is everything I could hear. Repeating your name, demanding you to wake up but all I could do at the end of the day is being so helpless. Even my optimism couldn’t change my mindset yet I was hopelessly begging to see your loving eyes as Lisa and the other staff held me out of the ward for the doctors to take care and clean up everything.

I wished to see those eyes I never noticed years ago. I didn’t know whether it was my selfish act or optimism that kept me not noticing all those details but if only I could see those once again, I could’ve lessened your pain before you disappeared. I was wrong but even up to this end, I hope you know that I love you and forever will do, Min.

I see it all now that you’re gone, don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Note

Hello A-Chan, this is my first time requesting ever, but I was really hooked onto your blog so I thought I’d give it a shot! Could you do prompt 46 with Asura from Naruto? Also, how are you doing?

I love Asura, not gonna lie. I love such guys a lot. I would say regarding boys that is my type. I would like to say that I'm fine, but I am nervous as hell for next week since it'll be one exam after another

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, delusions, clinginess, slight angst, paranoia

Prompt 46: “Can I...can I kiss you?”

There were days where you had seen Asura being discouraged, where you had seen him being partially down, disappointed from everyone only seeing his brother as worthy and him as more of an airhead. There had been days where you had witnessed that he as well had his moments of sadness and regret.

But right now this was something completely different, something much more serious than what you had witnessed so far. But could you blame him? After all that had happened the last few days? After Indra’s betrayal? And after Asura had been made the next leader? He was currently carrying a lot of responsibility and sorrow on his shoulder and due to his stubbornness to put his own problems over the ones of the villagers he was brewing everything in himself together, keeping everything for himself. Maybe because he didn’t want to discourage the villagers by letting them see that their leader was currently having his own problems and maybe also because he didn’t want to risk his brother risking the chance to attack again.

His brother was almost like an invisible weapon hanging tight over everyone’s head, no one knew when he would come again which made everyone extremely uneasy. That was why Asura refused to give himself some rest, refused to show his feelings too openly. He was the hope for everyone and if he would crumble, they would slightly panic and he didn’t want everyone worrying over him.

But you were his spouse, you had the right to know such things and since you knew him better than many others, since the youngest childhood days, he didn’t feel the need to hide anything from you. Even if he did, you could tell if he was lying or not and whenever you started consoling him, he ended up breaking a bit down in front of you to reveal his vulnerable feelings and all the pain and doubts he was hiding under all of his happiness and joy. He was a human as well and you didn’t expect him to be all the time positive. Of course it was nothing bad, it was a good thing he was the way he was. Maybe he was sometimes just a bit...inexhaustible. But you had learned to endure him and all his clinginess and his sometimes too sweet behavior.

But it was rare for him to be seen whilst being distraught or radiating off sadness and disappointment. But that was what you had found him like when you had woken up in the middle of the night in bed, with him having positioned himself so that his head had been burried in your hair, arms having wrapped themselves tightly around your form so you could not escape with a tight grip that gave you the feeling that he was silently begging for comfort and his breath being slightly erratic. It was not the first time you had seen him being like this, it happened every once in a while, but since he had pleaded you to not tell anyone, you had kept quiet about it. Only his father knew.

“Was it about Indra again?”, you asked him, turning your body a bit so your back was now laying on the mattress and so that you could face him a bit better. He did not answer instantly, but he nodded after a while, a untypical depressed look in his eyes. He looked exhausted and tired, and you didn’t mean because he had woken up late at night, but because right now he was done with all that had happened, all the piled up feelings getting to him. Those nightmares of him were one of those things that had happened only a while after his brother had left and nearly killed everyone and Hagoromo had told you that this might be a result from all the stress and the loss of his older brother whom Asura had cared for very much.

“Do you want to tell me about it? Was there anything different this time?”, you continued to talk to him, running your fingers a bit through his brown hair in order to calm him down. “You know you can tell me everything. I’m here Asura, I’ll always be.”

Mentioning it seemed to bring back unpleasant memories judging from the way his body went suddenly a bit rigid, muscles tensing up. Something had definitely happened to him. “Take your time. You can tell me or don’t, I’m fine with both. Whatever you feel most comfortable with.”

“He-he...” Asura did not even want to speak it out loud, struggling with his words which he couldn’t piece together in that one moment, mind being too much in chaos from the dream he just had to think normally just yet.

You had patience though, you knew no one had been more shattered from the recent events than Asura had. Of course you had been close to Indra too, though you now were sure he didn’t think of you as a friend anymore, looking back on how he had launched at you back then, knowing how much you meant to his brother. And it had been one of the very few times Asura had truly been infuriated with him, a temporarily darker look having crossed his face and for a few moments he had attacked with his brute strength as well which had even shocked his brother and had turned out to be the one moment where Asura had managed to finish him off with the help of the others.

“He killed you. He killed you and I couldn’t do anything against it. All I could do was watching you die.” His voice was trembling a bit. It might have been only a dream, but it seemed to mess with Asura still pretty badly, maybe because he knew that this might have really happened and might happen again with Indra’s current plan and whereabouts unknown was taking it’s toll on him as well.

“It’s fine Asura. It was only a dream. I am still here, aren’t I?”, you tried to cheer him up a bit. He didn’t look so sure when he looked up, though a small smile graced his features when he saw you looking slightly concerned down at him. “Your hair looks quite funny.”

With your free hand you twirled a strain of your hand in your hand before shrugging with your shoulders and letting go of it again. “I just woke up so you can’t exactly expect me to look like I just came out of a full dress-up. Also, for someone who is currently wanting my comfort so badly, you don’t exactly use the right methods.”, you teased slightly playfully, nudging him slightly.

“I still think even with this kind of hairstyle you look stunning. For me you always look stunning, no matter what.”

You scoffed a bit, trying to hide the fact that you were flattered by him and his charm, though it was a good sign that he was getting so flirty with you again, it meant he was starting to feel better.

“Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve someone as pretty and great as you. You were always there for me, no matter what.”, he mumbled, placing the one hand who was still playing with his hair over yours and guiding it to his face and letting it rest on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“Well, we did promise when we were you get we would marry each other, didn’t we? Though I remember that I rejected at first and you constantly trailed behind me and continued to propose to me at least once a day. You always plucked flowers or tried to cook something for me in hopes to charm me.”, you answered, giggling a bit when remembering all those times he had asked you to marry him like some lovesick fool, though he had stayed that way the complete time, the only difference now was that you were married to that man. Asura had never given up once, no matter how much you had rejected him as a child. It had helped him reaching your heart with his ambition and the fact that he had never given up once.

“I know, I probably was a bit annoying back then. But I just knew from all the way back then that you were the person I wanted to marry. Thank you for saying yes and marrying me. Thank you for being with me.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that. As I said, I’ll be here for you. Always. Also, please stop talking like this. You’re embarrassing me.” He was currently being a bit too much of a romantic talker for your taste, making you flustered despite having been attacked by this more than anyone else had.

Your reply made Asura grin a bit, sitting slowly up to meet you face to face, the previous look of fear having succumbed a bit, warmth having returned to them. “Thank you for helping me. I feel a lot better now.”, he told you, pressing his forehead against yours.

“I don’t like when you’re sad. But I’m also glad you do try to hide it from me do I can help you to start with. But Asura,”, you gave him a serious look,”please keep in mind that Indra leaving us was not your fault. It was his own decision and no one could have stopped him from going, even if we would have knocked him out and dragged him back. Understood?”

He glanced for a short moment away, hesitation filling his expression for a short moment before he sighed a bit. “That is easier said than done. I still feel like I could have done more. But you’re right, I don’t believe that I could have stopped him, no matter what I might have tried. Next to that he tried to destroy the village and to kill you.” For a millisecond you thought his expression darkened again, though it was hard to tell since it was not that easy to see him properly whilst it was night.

But it was rather quickly gone and from the way he kept glancing at your lips, you forgot rather quickly about that.

“Can I...can I kiss you?”

“We’re married silly. So why even asking? We’ve kissed before.”, you scoffed.

Asura was a bit taken aback when hearing you say this before scratching his neck embarrassed. “No reason to sound so harsh.”, he replied sheepishly before leaning closer and locking his warm pair of lips with you, loosening up a lot by doing so, feeling new energy flowing through him.

“Better now?”, you asked slightly amused afterwards. Asura nodded, grinning the usual bright way he always did. “Great, then let’s go back to sleep. It’s still late at night.”, you grumbled, finally letting the tiredness getting the better of you and sliding down into the blankets, soon being accompanied by Asura who seemed different from you more awake, something still on his mind.

“You know, I still hope that my brother will eventually come back to his senses and return to the village though I don’t think he will. But if he should ever try to hurt you again like he did the last time despite you having been one of his best friends...I won’t spare him just because he is my brother. I won’t let him hurt you.”

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere asura #yandere asura otsutsuki

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harryhighkey · 4 years

Text

reassurance

hi! it’s been a really long time since i posted a one shot! i don’t really have a good excuse besides that life has just been really busy. but i genuinely do miss writing these. here’s just a little something to get me back into it

______________________

It was late, and normally by this time you would be in bed with Harry and finding yourselves somewhere in between either a deep coversation, making love, laughing at silly things or even seeing a viral parkour video and asking him if he thought you could do it to which he would say,

“Baby, you can’t even walk up the hallway without tripping over.”

But currently, you were kind of avoiding going up to your bedroom. Harry had been off for the later part of the night. You couldn’t figure out why either and it was putting you in a weird mood, also. Usually you were so tuned in with him that you would notice even the slightest shift in his demeanour, as he would with you too.

However, whatever mindset he was in tonight really seemed to appear out of no where. You couldn’t pick where it came from at all. There was no argument, no significance with what day it was, nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Hell, you hadn’t even been secretly binging TV shows you were meant to watch together behind his back just because you couldn’t wait after he got upset about it last time. You couldn’t even really tell if Harry’s mood was more mad, sad or anything else in between and you were dwelling over it. You couldn’t find any kind of clue and your brain was caught in a whirl of over thinking.

You sighed as your phone died, you’d been killing time by scrolling through Tiktok. It was the only thing that was keeping your brain distracted. This time, you had to finally make your way to your room where you knew Harry was. You couldn’t help but become a little anxious with each step. You were a big believer in being honest with feelings - and thought everyone else should be too - so when you couldn’t pick what was going on because something wasn’t being said, you felt so out of your element.

You couldn’t help but to think you shouldn’t have to be feeling like this, it had been such a good afternoon and night. Your best friend had come over spontaneously, but that was nothing new. She did that about once a week, and her and Harry got on well. At first the three of you were hanging out, you’d had an early dinner and then Harry left you two, to allow you to have friend time. He was good like that, he knew how important friendship was to you. But that was never something that bothered him before.

You’d noticed his mood change when you went to ask him if he wanted a tea when you were making some for you and (Y/F/N). And the way he answered you was so strange, immediately you noticed and asked if he was okay and once again, his reply was not like his usual self. If you didn’t have a friend over you probably would have questioned him further, but you figured it could wait until it was just the two of you.

Which happened to be right now. And fuck, you wished it had been sorted out earlier so you weren’t overthinking how this was going to go.

You cracked open the bedroom door and stuck your head in, as if you were a guest in someone else's home and trying to find the right room. However, this was more your apartment, Harry had been living here ever since he got back from tour a couple of months ago, though.

He looked up and saw you peering in, “What are you doing?” He initiated the conversation, but it wasn’t said with any humour, you picked up on that. Things were still not completely okay.

You took the opportunity to come into the room fully, taking the few steps it took to reach your bed in your not so big bedroom. “Phone died.” You answered him while sitting on the side of the bed and reaching for your charger.

“That’s the only reason you came up?”

Shit, things were touchy with him then.

“What? No.” You answered him instantly, twisting to face him and bending one of your legs up on the bed. “I just got caught in a Tiktok scroll after (Y/F/N) left.”

“Told ya’ not to go on that before bed.” His tone was lighter and you smiled, unconsciously shifting more onto the bed and closer to him. He smelt so good, and his hair was damp. He’d showered already. “Keeps you up for hours. Good thing it died.”

“It’s not my fault I find the dumbest shit funny.”

“That definitely is your fault, that’s your sense of humour!” Harry laughed then, too.

“Oh my god, like yours is any better.” Harry was definitely no where near into social media as you were, but he would always come see what had you laughing at your screen. And sometimes he’d find himself laughing too, but it mostly made him smile to see you laughing. “I didn’t even get to do a twitter scroll yet.”

He frowned at that and looked away. The weird mood was back as quick as that brief moment of normal had appeared. Why? You hadn’t said anything to upset him, he knew you also enjoyed scrolling through twitter to see silly things to laugh at there, too.

“Hey,” He looked back at you as you got his attention. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He was being stubborn and you really had to fight against an eye roll. You hated when he was like this, it wasn’t all the time but enough to frustrate you when he wouldn’t be forthright with his feelings.

“Harry.”

“(Y/N).”

“Please tell me what’s going on. We had such a good night, I’m really not understanding this right now.” You were always very forthright with your feelings, sometimes that contrast between you two worked wonders and other times, it was challenging. Tonight seemed to be the latter.

He let out a deep breath and had a very deep in thought look on his face as he stared at his own feet stretched out to the end of the bed. God, even there propped up against the headboard he looked perfect. If your phone wasn’t dead, you would have picked it up and taken a photo.

“Why are you smiling?” He caught you staring with that fond look upon your face.

“You just look really good right now.”

“You sure about that?”

What?

“What?” The word appeared loud in your head and also exited your lips in surprise. That was not the typical reaction you received from Harry after complimenting him. You couldn’t help but to begin to think that whatever he was feeling off about was something not so major, in fact, something petty or he wouldn’t be acting so immaturely otherwise. “Tell me what’s going on, you’re being silly right now.”

Stubbornly he looked away.

“Harry, c’mon. You know this is gonna’ get to me if you don’t tell me.”

“Something you said got to me.”

“What did I say?” Your reply was a little defensive, you didn’t want it to be but you couldn’t help it. You knew something was off with him, but you didn’t expect it to be specifically something you done or said to him, because you truly thought tonight had been such a good and chilled out night.

“When you were talking about Zac Efron.” He finally admitted what was stirring in him and the conversation with your friend from earlier played in your mind.

“Dude, what?!” You displayed genuine surprise at what your friend had just told you. “There’s no fucking way, you’re lying.” After reminiscing over a funny memory that had happened when you and your friends had gone to see High School Musical Three at the cinemas, you’d been informed by your friend that Zac Efron was in a relationship with a girl he’d met at a cafe while she was waitressing.

“I’m not! Check twitter, it’s all over it.” She prompted you.

You picked up your phone then. “Oh my fucking god.” You exclaimed after typing Zac Efron into your twitter search bar. “This is like... real fanfiction shit.”

“I know!”

“She is living the literal dream, imagine dating the actual Troy Bolton. Her life couldn’t get better.”

“Personally, I’m more into a 17 again Zac Efron.”

“Or how truly beautiful he looked in Charlie St. Cloud. What a man.”

It was such a silly conversation with your friend, one that in all honestly, really had no significance. You, like many other people, were a big fan of the High School Musical movies and - once again - like many other people had a celebrity crush on Zac Efron at the time.

“Harry, you can’t be serious right now.” You couldn’t help but to let out a laugh, all of this fretting you had been doing over something so minor.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I’m sorry, but you have to know this is really dumb.”

“Didn’t you hear how you talked about him? Saying how his girlfriend has got the best life and shit like that.”

“Oh my god, you do not need to be this jealous right now.”

“It wasn’t very nice to hear, (Y/N).” You didn’t even realise Harry had heard you two talk about this, he must have gone to the bathroom or something and overheard as he walked past you two on the couch. But after his latest response you started to realise that all he heard was you two talking about Zac Efron, his current reaction probably meant he had missed when you talked about your own life with Harry.

“Did you stay around to listen to what I said after that?”

“No, I had enough.”

“Oh, baby, you really missed out on the good part.”

“What did you say?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you.” You know you shouldn’t be teasing him right now, but you really couldn’t help but to make fun of him. It wasn’t often that Harry got caught up in something more on the pettier side and you weren’t one to shy away from teasing in the first place.

“Don’t.” Along with his one worded reply, he scooted his body down to lay flat on the bed before rolling onto his side and groaning into the pillow. He knew this was one of the more trivial things he had gotten annoyed at you with, but he couldn’t help but to allow his jealousy to seek through. Not when it came to his dream girl.

Mirroring his movements, you too manoeuvred to be laying down on your side and once you were comfortable, you brought a hand up to run it through his hair. “Well, if you had stuck around to hear the rest of that conversation you would’ve heard me say,” He turned his head to face you then, genuine curiosity painted on his features and it truly took your breath away how beautiful he was this close up. “that I was living in the best fanfiction of all.” He started to smile then, he could notice the blush beginning to appear in your cheeks. You typically weren’t one for a sappy moment, so when you were this way he loved every second of it.

“Tell me more.”

“Well, I said to (Y/F/N), it’s kind of weird because Zac Efron is this celebrity crush, you know? Like a, never gonna happen but woah, that man-”

“I meant tell me more about me, not him.” He cut you off and there was a little anger in his voice, but it was at least mixed with a little humour this time.

“I’m getting there.” You laughed at him again. “Anyway, but, so were you once upon a time for me.”

“Hm?”

“Harry, you know this already, don’t make me say it.” Now you rolled over, except onto your back to look at the ceiling.

“If you want to make it up to me, I gotta hear it.” He wasn’t being serious, you knew he had already moved past the jealousy from before, but it was rare to catch you in a more romantic spiel and he wanted to milk it some more.

You let out a sigh before continuing. “Well, you know I was a One Direction fan.”

“I’ll never forget the night you told me.” You laughed at that reply from him and so did he, it came out when you were very drunk and made for lots of embarrassing moments the next day.

“Anyway, what I was saying to (Y/F/N) was kind of along the lines of, if I could tell a younger version of myself walking out of her first One Direction concert that she’d be where I am right now, she’d... I don’t know, die or cry or something.” You turned your head to look over at him then and he was smiling in that way that made his dimple so prominent and the beat of your heart harder. “Like, yes, I have celebrity crushes from when I was younger, but, I’m so happy with you, Harry.” You rolled back onto your side, you wanted him to know you meant this. “This life with you is better than any fanfiction or daydream I could think ever up. You don’t need to be jealous, I have everything I want with you.” You didn’t intend for the mood to shift but tears of complete happiness had welled in your eyes.

Harry noticed and he brought his arm around you to pull you closer in towards him until your bodies were against one another. “I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you, too.”

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