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honeypiehotchner · 3 years

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My Deep Blue Love (Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader) -- Soulmate AU one shot

This was 100% born out of boredom and loneliness and those damn Soulmate AU POV Tiktoks that I have seen practically 24/7 for the past WEEK on my fyp

(I’m not sure if I’ll do a part 2, rn I have no plans for it)

quick note on the technicality of this one: you lose all ability to see colors when you turn 12 and you don’t regain the ability until you meet your soulmate. but! you have to meet them in person and it has to be a mutual eye contact. pictures/videos of them don’t work, and if you just saw the back of their head or something in person, that doesn’t work either. it’s all about the shared eye contact babeyyy

small disclaimer: Brie Larson is mentioned in here and she has a wife, but that is very much only in this fic, and as far as i know Brie doesn’t have a wife irl lol (i also don’t know if she’s spoken about her sexuality at all so what i’m saying is take it with a grain of salt ok)

Summary: Everyone around you is meeting their soulmate, but you still see in black and white. You’re ready to give up, and basically have, when you lock eyes with your soulmate.

Warnings: None! Just a bit of angst, lots of fluff toward the end

You knock on your mom’s bedroom door at 4:58am. She’s already awake, sitting up in bed, ushering you over.

With tears in your eyes, you crawl onto her bed, snuggling close to her chest.

“I don’t want to lose my colors,” you whimper.

“I know, baby,” she whispers, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay.”

You were born 12 years ago on this day at 5:08am, so in a few short minutes, when you officially turn 12 years old, all color will drain from your life.

Or the colors could stay, but that’s only if you’ve somehow already met your soulmate. And that’s rare, nearly impossible.

You squeeze your eyes shut at 5:07 and you don’t open them again until 5:10.

The colors are gone.

+++

twenty years later

You sigh heavily as you receive yet another wedding invite. You are invited to witness the official beginning of Olivia and Jeffrey’s lives together as husband and wife, soulmates for all of time.

The glitter sticks to your fingertips, tiny black dots against your skin. Your friend told you it’s gold. You barely remember what that looks like.

Lately it seems like everyone has been meeting their soulmate. Just yesterday, you were having coffee with a friend when she looked up at the girl sitting behind you, and boom.

“It’s like the world just exploded,” she had said. Colors were everywhere. She immediately left you to go talk to the girl.

You don’t blame her for that. If you had met your soulmate, you probably would’ve done the same thing. But you can’t say for sure because you don’t know.

You wouldn’t be so cynical of it all if your boyfriend of five years didn’t meet his soulmate while the two of you were out at dinner. You wish you could say that he was faking it. But it was clear from his face (and the girl’s) that he wasn’t kidding. It was real. He had met his soulmate, and it wasn’t you.

It’s never you.

You’ve had guys cut off dates before they even start, all because they didn’t see colors when they laid their eyes on you. They refuse to even be friends with you.

All anyone is doing anymore is searching for a soulmate and it’s exhausting when none of them are yours. When all of your friends see color now. When everyone assures you that it’ll happen soon. What does soon even mean?

You grab your ice cream from the freezer and fall onto the couch, flicking to whatever channel has late night shows that aren’t complete garbage.

As usual, you find yourself watching a talk show, and tonight Tom Hiddleston is one of the guests.

You’re sort of familiar with him from a few movies, but other than that, you hardly know anything about him.

“So, Tom, we’ve all been wondering what’s going on with you and Brie Larson?”

“Brie?” Tom asks, clearly shocked to hear this question. “We’re just good friends, that’s all.”

“Oh, she doesn’t make you see any colors?”

“Ah, no, actually, she does not,” Tom chuckles, but doesn’t sound sad at all, surprisingly. “Her wife does that for her, not me, I’m afraid.”

“Oh really?” The host brushes past the mention of Brie’s wife and keeps the focus on Tom, of course. “So is that true, you still don’t see color?”

Your ears perk up at the mention of someone else not seeing in color. It’s rare for anyone to talk about this on television. Most celebrities don’t talk about whether or not they’ve found their soulmate, but more often than not, those that have are quite loud about it.

“Yes, that’s true,” Tom answers. “I still see the world in a lovely black and white.”

You snort, harshly jabbing your spoon into your ice cream. Lovely. Yeah, right.

“Do you really think it’s nice? Do you not miss the colors?” The host asks.

“No, no, I do. I do,” Tom admits. “But I like to think I’ll see them when the time is right.”

You groan, going to Google to look up his age. And when you see he’s 40, you groan even louder. He’s older than you and he still hasn’t met his soulmate. That’s just depressing. How can he sound so optimistic?

“Alright, well, if there’s one thing you wish you could tell your soulmate, what would it be? Maybe they’re watching right now, you never know.”

Tom smiles wide. “Maybe, maybe, um… Oh, so many things,” Tom exhales deeply. “I guess I could be cliché and say I can’t wait to meet them and wait for me, but I think I want to say… I think I want to say I understand. It is frustrating, still seeing in black and white, but our paths will cross soon, I’m sure of it. Until then, my eyes are blue.”

Blue. Blue.

You roll your eyes. You don’t even remember what the color looks like.

+++

seven months later

“I am not going to a movie premiere. You’re insane!”

“Please!” Your friend, Catherine, cries. “You’ll love it, I swear.”

You glare at her over your coffee. “That just makes it sound like you have a trick up your sleeve.”

“I don’t,” she says. “I just want you to take advantage of this and come with us! When will you ever have the chance to go to a movie premiere again?”

She has a point. Dammit. “Touché. How did you get tickets, anyway? Please tell me you didn’t spend thousands for this.” You wouldn’t put it past her, even though you tell her not to every time before she does something like this.

“God, no, Joe surprised me with them earlier. He said he went to school with the lead.”

“Oh. Cool. Who?”

“Tom Hiddleston, I think. Have you heard of him? He’s British, but that’s about all I know. Joe just said they ran into each other the other day and reconnected.”

You stop halfway through a sip of coffee, careful to not choke on it. Slowly, you nod. “Yeah. I...I’ve seen him in a couple things.”

“Apparently, he hasn’t met his soulmate either…” Catherine trails away, raising her eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes. “I heard,” you set your cup down. “He’s probably met them by now though since he blasted it on television like that.”

“Or he’s still searching and you’re still being too cynical.”

“You’re probably right,” you chuckle.

“Sooo, you’ll come?”

You sigh heavily. “As long as you help me pick something to wear.”

+++

“I’m regretting letting you talk me into this already,” you mutter when you nearly trip in your heels.

“Oh, hush,” Catherine swats your arm. “It’s an excuse to get dressed up and look hot for no reason. Take it.”

“Fine.”

Catherine’s soulmate, Joe, was whisked away almost as soon as the three of you stepped inside the venue by some director (you think), but he promised to return in a few minutes. Catherine told him not to worry. She’s used to him being dragged away for conversation. You can see from her face that she’s more proud of him than anything, and not at all annoyed.

Currently, you and Catherine are standing near the small bar, waiting for them to announce that it’s time to take your seats. You desperately want a drink, but part of you knows it would be a bad idea.

One glass of wine can’t hurt, though. Maybe it’ll take your mind off the pain in your feet.

You peel away from Catherine when you see Joe coming back, and you flag the bartender down quickly.

After ordering a glass of white wine, you wait patiently, wishing you had chosen a dress with sleeves. It’s fucking cold in here.

“Darling, you’re shivering, are you alright?”

Your head turns toward the smooth voice, face set and mind trying to decipher whether or not it was a sincere or creepy comment when the world quite literally explodes.

There, standing beside you, concern written all over his face, is Tom Hiddleston. Only now the concern has washed away into awe when your eyes lock with his.

“Oh my god,” he whispers, stumbling even though he’s standing in place.

“Blue,” you murmur. “Your eyes are blue.” Without even thinking or asking, your hand lifts to cup his cheek, and then you pull back, “Shit, sorry—”

But he grabs your wrist gently, placing your palm on his cheek. “It’s alright.” His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”

“I thought you didn’t exist,” you whisper in reply. But here he is. His eyes are blue, his lips are pink, he has tiny brown freckles all over his rosy cheeks. You look back to his eyes, narrowing your own. “You liar. Your eyes have green in them, too.”

“Do they really?” Tom chuckles. “I never would’ve known.”

“That’s why you have me,” you tease, and you don’t know where any of this is coming from, yet it doesn’t feel like you’re pretending. It feels like you’re finally yourself.

His other hand tangles with yours as he nods. “That’s why I have you, indeed.”

At this time, the lights in the theatre begin lightly flashing, signaling that it’s time for everyone to begin making their way to their seats.

But neither you or Tom move one inch.

The only issue is people are beginning to stare.

You notice it first, so you slowly pull your hand from his cheek. This movement shocks him back to reality, too, and he blinks a few times, yet he doesn’t let go of your hand.

“I, um, I have to make a speech,” he says. “But then I can come back to you. Will you save me a seat?”

“Don’t you have to sit up front?”

He nods. “I do, but—”

“Then I’ll come with you.” You aren’t sure if it’s the fact that he hasn’t let go of your hand yet, or if it’s because you’ve been waiting so long that now you don’t want him to be further than an arms length away from you, but you mean what you say.

“Are you sure?” He asks, but you both need to make a decision quickly because you can see someone waving from the wings, most likely trying to get Tom’s attention.

“I’m sure.”

He doesn’t question it, in fact, he grins, and brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go, then.”

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x fem!reader #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x soulmate!reader #tom hiddleston soulmate au #soulmate au #tom hiddleston one shot #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #completely self indulgent #as always

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dercolaris · 3 years

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Hope

Obsession is always the beginning of the end. It’s good to have friends, when the world starts to fall apart. None Romantic Harley Quinn & Scarecrow. Mentioning of suicide, but no characater death.

Song: https://youtu.be/h0rE8dI6dRg

Have fun!

The annoying sirens wailed in the distance, as the Master of Fear puffed heavily and came to a stop at the boarded-up door of the old sawmill. Was it really a smart idea to hide in here tonight? He looked nervously over his shoulders. The police cars came closer and closer with every second. The former psychiatrist took a deep breath and pushed himself through the narrow gap that had not yet been closed, cursing angrily as a part of his black coat ripped in this process. Immediately the darkness of this place hold a grip on his slim body, brought back some gruesome memories. This was an old hiding place of the Joker. One of way too many in Gotham, in which Scarecrow had visited the self-appointed prince of the underworld a few times. Their rarely collaboration has mostly been crowned with success, even if they didn't get along very well. Jonathan let out a long sigh, watching his breath in the form of the white mist in front of him. He couldn't see much further right now. The darkness was somehow special in this place. The older man looked in his rags for a flash light. It was small in his bony hand, but could light up the surroundings a little. The brown-haired man aimed randomly into the blackness around him and came to a stop on an old metal staircase. Up there were the old offices of the business. The gaunt man frown a bit. Offices, that Joker had probably use for his own dirty desires. The clown had never tried to hide his abnormal wishes in terms of weird intercourses. Jonathan rubbed his neck a bit and pushed away the disturbing thoughts, then concentrated again on the big hall. How long has this building been empty? Probably around fifty years since the great global stock market crash. Many industrial companies were unable to recover from this, including this sawmill. The former psychiatrist moved almost silently through the darkness, lighting his way carefully. He put his scythe down on one of the concrete pillars and pulled the dirty mask off his face. It feels so much better without the leather on his skin. A slight breeze touched the man's petrified features. He leaned against the concrete and slowly slid down, closed his eyes for a moment and enjoyed the silence. The sirens were almost gone by now. They were probably looking for him in the theatre district. Fine for him. The Master of Fear let out another gush of white smoke from his mouth. It still tasted of iron and death in these great halls. Suddenly, he heard a faint noise in the darkness. Jonathan raised the flash light again and shone it into the blackness. How high was the possibility, that the Bat found him after such a short time? He pushed himself up on the pillar, slowly walking towards the source of the noises. The next moment, a huge rat jumped out from between two barrels, seemed to be blinded for a moment by the bright light. The former psychiatrist let out a relieved breath. Just an animal.

The older man gave a small laugh and touched his sweaty forehead. Who would get lost here anyway? Maybe one or two homeless people, but even these avoided the Joker's old hiding places. Evil curses apparently hung over the prince's buildings and whoever stayed in them too long would die a terrible death. It was just a rumour, of course. Jonathan went back to his scythe and leaned against the pillar. The coolness felt incredibly good. That break-in hadn't gone too well this night. To make matters worse, there were also Poison Ivy and Two-Face in the chemical plant's buildings. The gaunt man shook his head slightly, rubbing the cold sweat from his forehead. Now was the time to recover from this failure and plan further steps. He was clearly not allowed to appear in public places for the next few weeks. Gotham was a city that could easily forget things if someone didn't move lightly through the streets for some time. To make matters worse, there was the damned Bat, who was really a master at tracking down rogues. Well, what else should you expect from a detective? It was only a matter of time before Batman would find him. Until then he would at least try not to be seen so much outside of his own hideout. Suddenly, there was another loud noise in the darkness. Jonathan flinched and looked around, but saw no possible attacker. He crept through the dark, covering the beam of his flash light with the filthy rags he wore. Out of nowhere the sound of a shot boomed through the silence. The former psychiatrist came to an abrupt stop on the metal stairs and looked up at the offices. At that moment he saw a small streak of light coming out of the wooden door. Scarecrow reached for his belt, took out his pistole carefully and released the safety catch of the weapon. He went cautiously up the first steps, listening for more noises. As he approached, a faint whining reached his ears. He paused confused and continued to listen into the room. The voice was clearly feminine. It sounded somehow familiar to him. With these thoughts he pushed open the door to the office, startled at the horrifying sight.

His weapon lowered slowly. Harleen Quinzel, better known by her alias Harley Quinn, sat on the dirty wooden floor. She shivered, turned as in slow motion to the former psychiatrist. Her make-up had run off and ran down her cheeks in rivulets. Her lower lip literally trembled and the blue eyes looked right through him into an unknown distance. A rusty revolver rested in her hands. Jonathan couldn't tell from a distance whether it was loaded. The shot shortly before, however, indicated it. The older man snorted softly and tried to stop the racing of thoughts in his head. At that moment a thousand words rattled in his mind, but clearly not the right ones. Harley was crying bitterly now, holding the revolver with shaking hands. She tried to put on a smile, then whispered, barely audible: “Hey Johnny. How are you today?” The gaunt man paused for a moment, blinked a few times. He finally slipped his gun into his belt and took a step closer to the woman on the floor. Harley immediately raised the gun, pressed it firmly to her temple. She sniffed a bit louder and muttered tearfully: "Don't come a step closer, Johnny or I'll pull the trigger. This time where the bullet should actually go in the first place.” The Master of Fear stopped short in his movement, raised his hands soothingly. He breathed a little faster than usual and replied all the more calmly: "Harleen, please, what are you trying to do?" The young woman pressed the barrel tighter to her skin, looked at Jonathan with tearful eyes. She shivered again and pulled the trigger halfway. Harley yelled loudly into the room: “Are you fucking kidding me? What do you think I'm doing here? I'm ending this whole wretched life for good! Just look at me, Johnny, at what I've become in the last years. How often did I run after him and how often did he use me again only for his evil purposes? How could I have been so blind all my life to do whatever he asked. I've suffered so much from this monster and you know what, Johnny? I still love him. I would probably love him for the rest of my pathetic existence!"

The former psychiatrist took a small step forward, but kept his arms raised soothingly. He spoke softly, trying not to startle the poor woman any further: “Harleen, listen to me. Whatever the clown did to you, there is another way than this one. Trust me. Please lower the gun and we will talk about it.” The girl snorted loudly, wiped her wet cheeks with her free hand. The make-up just smudged more over her skin. She swallowed what appeared to be a gigantic lump in her throat and replied weakly: “What difference does it make whether I die here or someday by his hand. I'll never get rid of him. Never.” Jonathan nodded slightly, stayed in his position for a moment. In this conversation he had to prove that he had learned more than just unnecessary and marginal nonsense at the university in Gotham. To make matters worse, Harleen had once studied in the department for psychology and psychiatry herself. She should knew the simple tricks. Jonathan took a deep breath, then talked to the young woman again: “You have a chance, Harleen. Everyone has it. You just have to take and work with it.” The young woman closed her eyes tightly and pressed the barrel firmer to her skin. She was shaking more and more – so much that Jonathan feared, she might accidentally pull the trigger. He took another step towards her and spoke up again: “Please. Allow me to help you.” The addressed shivered strongly under the cold of the office, cried even more bitterly than before. An absolute breakdown. The older man looked at the harlequin's tearful face, carefully took another step forward. He held his hand forward and was almost within reach of the young woman. His voice was unusually gentle for him as he breathed softly: “You don't have to end this path. Come with me and I will make sure that you can heal. I can't take the scars away from you, of course not, but they will fade over time. You can trust me.” The Harlequin bit her lower lip hard, trembling clearly visible. She weighed her will to die against her will to live at this moment. The struggle she was fighting inside with herself was almost exposed to the outside. After a few seconds she suddenly growled deeply, hissed angrily: “Why the hell should I trust you, Johnny? You're not a bit better than all the other villains in Gotham. You kill people without blinking an eye and now you want to help me? God, give me a stupid reason to believe you, Scarecrow! Only one!"

The Master of Fear paused immediately, thinking for a moment. A really good question. He fiddled with his rags and finally replied: “I may not be an angel. No, I'm probably the recantation of the devil, but I can assure you of one thing – you have always been important to me, whether in the collaboration with Joker or the many times we were stuck together in Arkham. I never hurt you and was always careful to keep you away from the clown. I was there when literally no one else was there for you. Maybe I'm not the right company for you, but the fact is that I'm right here with you and willing to help you. I will not go until you've made up your mind, Harleen.” The young woman sniffed a few times, then looked up with fearful eyes. The fingers around the revolver released slowly, opened leisurely. Slowly the gun slid to the floor and hit the floorboards hard with a thump. The Harlequin put her face in her hands, now crying without any restraint. Jonathan took a step forward, grabbed the revolver with his hand. He picked it up and placed the weapon in his belt, only then drop on his knees next to the young woman. He hesitated for a moment, but finally took Harleen's delicate hand in his own. The former psychiatrist felt a slight pressure on his side. In the next instant Harley released his hand and wrapped her arms around his thin neck. Her face was now hidden on his shoulder, continued to cry muffled in the dirty fabric of his costume. Jonathan froze for a moment, thinking briefly what to do next. He let his instincts decide. Slowly his arms wrapped around the petite figure of Harleen. The older man just held her close to his chest and felt how his rags gradually getting wet. His fingertips caressed her back gently. He closed his eyes and whispered softly: “It's okay, Harleen. Everything is okay."

The addressed did not react, just kept crying on his shoulder. Jonathan didn't know how long they had been sitting in this room together. Finally, Harleen pushed away from him and looked up with watery eyes. She whispered softly: "I don't really know what to say, Johnny. I guess thank you?" A small smile played on his lips. He removed the hand from her back and placed it on her cheek, gently stroking the tears away. His words were gentle and unusually warm: “Anytime. Shall we go now?” He got up carefully and pulled the young woman to her feet with him. She looked at him almost confused and asked shyly: “And where should we go, Johnny? We don't have a place that is safe, do we?" The older man wiped away a stray tear with a smile. He calmly replied: "Yes, we actually have a place to which we can return at any time. Arkham.” With that idea, Jonathan pulled out an outdated cell phone and quickly tapped in the emergency number. A woman answered the line. The former psychiatrist hesitated for a moment, but then spoke up: “My name is Jonathan Crane and I'm right now in the old sawmill. With me is Harleen Quinzel, my partner in the last robbery this night. We'll surrender without a fight and are ready to face the consequences of our actions.” With this information, the gaunt man ended the call. The Master of Fear held out his right hand to Harleen. The young woman showed a very small smile and took the hand slowly. Together they stepped down the metal stairs and opened the heavy door to the empty street in front of the mill. The sirens were slowly approaching to their position. Jonathan looked up at the old halls of the industrial district, spotted on one of them the dark shape of a well-known Bat. He nodded briefly to the Dark Knight, which the hero apparently replied. In the next moment Batman was gone. The former psychiatrist held Harleen's hand a little tighter and spoke softly: "Let's go home. Together."

#DC #Batman #Harley Quinn #Harleen Quinzel #Jonathan Crane #Scarecrow #Arkham?#psychiatrist buddies #Hurt #Comfort #Friendship #None Romance #Joker hate allianz - join now for free!

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bedbellyandbeyond · 4 years

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Mystery Baby Theatre, Part 5

(Short Story Post, 5/6)

“You think I have something to do with this?” Dusty asked, hands on his hips. “The nerve…” “We’re not accusing you. You’re just the only demon we have on file,” Korsy explained. When the agent got the family to APID safely, they got them set up in the hospital wing and called Dusty in while Carlos waited outside with his kids. He’d been at home putting his son to bed when he was called so he’d had to drop Grey at his other father’s house quickly before popping into APID. Now he stood in front of Reggie’s hospital bed, glaring at Korsy. He was in no good mood. “I am a succubus,” Dusty said. “This is clearly the work of an incubus.” “What’s the difference?” Korsy asked. “Aren’t succubi supposed to be female?” Reggie asked. He was set up on the exam table but the doctor wasn’t here yet to look him over. Dusty seemed to only get more ticked off. “Demons don’t have sexes. The latin ‘succubare’ means ‘to lie beneath’. It literally just means I’m a bottom. And looking at all those children lined up outside, I could say you’re more of a succubus than I am.” “Are you calling me a whore?” Reggie growled. “If the shoe fits…”

“Hey, none of that!” Korsy said. “Dusty, I get it. You’re tired. We pulled you away from your son for this. But we need your help if you can give it. Do you know what's going on with him?” Dusty crossed his arms. “I don't know much about incubi. What I do know is that they’re terrible testosterone junkies who couldn’t care less about anyone else and always try to get what they want whenever they want. So, I imagine, whatever one that’s after you wants that kid.” Reggie shook his head. “No, we made a deal.” “What deal did you make?” Dusty asked. “What did you give in exchange for this child?” “He asked me to sacrifice a goat in his name,” Reggie said. “So, I found one on Kijiji and did it. It was really really gross…” “So, he just wanted a goat?” Korsy asked. “Hard to believe…” “Naw, goats are pretty powerful…” Dusty said. “But this is an incubus we’re talking about. He’s probably found a loophole. What exactly did he promise?” “He gets the goat, I get to keep the baby,” Reggie said. “Simple as—” He suddenly doubled over, clenching his stomach. “Ahh… Ow…” Korsy was startled. “Are you okay?” “Y-Yeah, I…” Reggie grimaced. “…Just a bit of pain…” “You’re going into labour, aren’t you?” Dusty said. “No, I’m still a month from due,” Reggie said. The lights suddenly shut off and the room got cold. Reggie suddenly let out a scream of pain. “Oh god, it hurts!” Dusty and Korsy’s eyes took a moment to adjust but soon they could see. Reggie was still balled up in pain, but there was now a puddle of black liquid pooling under him. “Your water broke,” Dusty said. “You are in labour.” “I’ll get the doctor,” Korsy said leaving the room. As he did, Carlos came in. “What’s going on?” Carlos asked, blindly trying to find his partner in the darkness. “It’s too early…” Reggie whimpered. “Your partner’s in labour,” Dusty said. He grabbed Carlos’s shoulder and directed him to Reggie’s side. “I don’t think this is a coincidence. I think your incubus is forcing you into labour.” “You think right,” a deep voice said. Everyone was startled by the sudden strange voice. Dusty suddenly saw him, a tall dark shadow standing in the corner of the room, a huge grin on his face. Reggie screamed out in pain again. The contractions hurt ten times more than any of his other pregnancies and he was in absolute agony. The stranger looked over at Dusty then tilted it’s head slightly. “Succubus? What are you doing here?” “I’m just… I’m just helping,” Dusty said, feeling his body tremble in the presence of a much stronger demon. The other stared for a moment. “…Darathan?” Dusty lowered his eyes. “Who’s asking?” “Thaungal.” He raised a hand, forcing Dusty’s chin up again. “Don’t be rude. Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Dusty whimpered, feeling the incubus’s invisible strength holding him up. “I’m sorry…” “You’re wanted back home,” Thaungal said. Dusty shook his head stiffly. “I’m not tied to home…I was bound…” “You’re not bound anymore.” Thaungal shrugged anyway and let him go. “What do I care. You’re not worth much…” Dusty immediately teleported away, leaving the humans in darkness alone with the incubus. Reggie was still clutching his stomach, his labour progressing quickly. Carlos was trying to soothe him, rubbing his back and whispering to him, though he was also frightened out of his mind. “Reggie…” the demon said in a low voice. “The child is ready for you.” He waved a hand over the labouring man, forcing his body flat against the exam table, his arms and legs out as if restrained. Reggie shrieked in pain, his body tensing in agony. He felt like he would faint from the sheer pain. The child within his stomach writhed and squirmed as if trying to rip out. “Oh, it’s alright,” Thaungal said. “I’m here for you.” He placed his hand down on Reggie’s belly and the hell spawn calmed down. The pain in Reggie’s body ebbed and he was able to regain his breath. “You promised…” he cried. “You promised not to take my baby…” “I promised you could keep it,” Thaungal admitted. “But I’ve decided I want it. But I won’t go back on my word. You can keep your child but I’ll take both of you.” “No!” Carlos yelled. “You can’t take him!” “Oh, can’t I?” Thaungal chuckled. “Perhaps you’d be right if you were married to him. But you’re not. Therefore, he can be bound to me.” Carlos threw his torso over Reggie’s body. “¡Demonio! ¡No puedes tenerlo! You can’t have him!” Thaungal let out a boisterous laugh. “Human, you’re very funny to think you have any power against—” Thaungal suddenly jumped back, narrowly missing the edge of a blade being swung at him. Dusty had reappeared with Korsy and the doctor, Sydryn, the former brandishing knives. “Stay away from them!” Korsy barked, holding his blade out to Thaungal. “Syd, take care of the patient!” “Obviously,” Sydryn huffed, moving over between Reggie's legs to check him. Thaungal eyes narrowed on Dusty. “You traitor!” “I work here, asshole!” Dusty said. “You don’t get to come to my job and just do whatever the fuck you want!” Thaungal started to approach Dusty. “You little—" Korsy lunged out in front of Dusty, slashing his knives towards Thaungal, the catching the incubus across the chest and making a shallow gash. The demon hissed, swiping a clawed hand at the agent, but Korsy ducked out of the way and countered with another slash of his knives. The demon dodged it easily and chuckled, but Korsy caught him off guard with a swift kick to the gut. What should've been a harmless kick for an incubus of his strength turned out to be fatal however and Thaungal staggered backward, black blood seeping out of his wounds. He looked at himself then glared at Korsy. “...You...” Before he could finish his sentence, he disintegrated into dust. The lights flickered back on and Korsy stood there panting. The grip on Reggie's body was lifted and he was able to relax a bit though still subject to his contractions. “What just happened?” Carlos asked, unable to have seen everything that had transpired. “Did you kill him?” “He did,” Dusty said. “But he shouldn't have been able to... Not with a kick...” Korsy caught his breath then slammed a fist against his knee. His right leg fell out of his pant and he picked it up, showing off the blade coming from his prosthetic. “Dark elf blade. Good for killing...bad things. Still sharp enough for everybody else too so watch out.” “Scary...” Dusty said, though he was a little turned on. “...You have my number.” “Thank you...for getting rid...of Thaun...” Reggie panted. “But I'm still...in labour!” “Right. Syd, how's he doing?” Korsy asked. “Crowning,” Sydryn stated. “Reggie, another big push.” Reggie grabbed his ankles and pushed hard. “Oh shit, it's almost here!” Carlos pulled out his phone and started recording, going around beside Syd to get a good angle. “You can do it, mi amor!” Reggie pushed harder, screaming in pain, and the head came free. He eased up and panted, tears streaming down his face. “Humans film these things?” Dusty critiqued. “Strange...” “Get out if you're not helping!” Reggie growled before starting to push again. “I concur. Darathan. Korsgaard. Out,” Sydryn instructed. “Köbi’s watching the children. Replace him and send him in.” Dusty and Korsy stepped out quickly and were replaced by the curly haired young man. Köbi stood ready by the doctor. “What do you need me to do?” “Prepare for the baby. Ready a blanket,” Sydryn said. “Ahhhhhhhh!” Reggie bore down with all his strength. Sydryn reached around the baby's head and helped guide it out. Finally, with a rush of more black amniotic fluid, the child was born. She was completely grey and squirmed in the doctor’s hands. “¡Una niña!” Carlos said happily. “Reggie, she’s so cute!” Reggie however didn’t respond. His energy was all drained and the pain had been unbearable. He was fighting just to stay conscious. “Reg?” Carlos dropped his phone and grabbed Reggie’s hand. “Reggie, stay with me!” “Köbi, take the child,” Sydryn said, being quick to cut the umbilical cord. “Quickly.” Köbi did as told, taking the newborn and wrapping her up in the blanket. Carlos pushed back his partner’s hair, watching as his consciousness faded. “Is Reggie going to be okay?” “He’s lost a lot of blood. If we don’t treat this immediately, it could be fatal,” Sydryn stated. “No!” Carlos’s voice shook. “Do something!” “I am.” Sydryn had already begun manually removing the placenta. “I suggest you go outside and take care of your children.” “I can’t leave him here!” Carlos sobbed. “I need him!” “I am no longer suggesting. Step outside, sir, or you will be forcibly removed.” “I can’t go!” “Köbi!” Köbi handed the newborn over to Carlos. “Trust us, okay? You have beautiful children to look after.” He placed a hand on Carlos’s shoulder which helped soothe the man. Carlos nodded and stepped outside. “Köbi, stop the bleeding while I get an IV,” Sydryn asked. “On it.” Köbi placed his hands on Reggie’s sternum and closed his eyes.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

#lore #short story #mystery baby theatre #mpreg #Reggie #Carlos #Dusty #Köbi #Sydryn #Korsy

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modsatan-writes · 4 years

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May I request a match-up?

Hi! The preferred name i'd go by is Devora, bisexual, demigirl. I'm an Aquarius, apparently a ENFP-T personality type. I am loyal, caring and sometimes even protective of the ones I love, usually independent and always trying to be a responsible and reasonable-mature person. I struggle with confidence and self worth issues (writing anything positive about myself is a challenge). I am an absolute ambivert, shy around people of higher authority or importance but very open around people I care about or feel close to. Also very affection starved, daily hugs are a must. Cuddles are a dream. I don't care about appearances at all, and care about being healthy and for everyone to be in their best state. (Sorta struggle to do it for myself though, neglecting whatever health Issues I might have) Also rather minimalistic, not the biggest wardrobe. I have glasses and I myself am a bit of a short chub with a boy haircut. My way of exercising is longs walks, I listen to music alot which I end up daydreaming about. My mind is constantly thinking about a thousand things at once and I struggle to focus at times. Also a bit of a workaholic who can't really relax. I hold a strong love for animals, especially cats and reptiles (own a cat and a leopard gecko). I hold a massive sense of love any type of fiction/creative media. Movies, theatre, books, anime, video games, you name it! Though I do also love myself am occasional documentary about history or something. I hold a love for food, I love cooking but for the life of me can't bake, I do tend to be a bit picky at times and have a fuzzy appetite which can be problematic, add it with my workaholic tendencies and I tend to forget to eat or sleep - memory can also often be a bit iffy at times.

What I really want to do is become a writer, writer/creator for books, movies, tv shows, maybe even video games! I struggle with escapism sometimes and because of that I hold a massive fantasy world in my head, and it's constantly expanding nonstop.

Art is a small hobby on the side, as just another way of expressing the things I'd want to write about.

I struggle with fidgeting and little stims of mine. I'd say I'm a very understanding and open-minded person, always trying to see both sides of a conflict and trying to solve things through communication. I also hold a strong sense of patience but can have an occasional temper if you really do go that low - I also can be rather curious, another one of my dreams is to travel the world, to see new places, meet new people and be introduced to all types of culture (One of the places I'm most interested in is Japan, England is also a place I really wanna visit one day). I'm always thrilled to meet someone from a different backround and to listen to what they have to say.

Also I come from Estonia, English ain't my first language either, and I'm constantly aiming for learning more languages - I do often struggle with my identity aswell.

Also struggle with family issues, not gonna go into that, but just gonna say I've lacked a connected and loving family for a majority of my life, which just makes me more likely to get attached to someone. Can be very emotional and talkative at times (I'm the type who quickly cries during movies hahah)

Ps. I love the work you do, and I hope you the best! ✨

You sure can, sweety! You say you struggle with writing positive things about yourself, but honestly there's nothing not to love! Sweety, you're so cool and creative it's insane. Also, thanks for the love!

- Mod Satan

tw: none.

Requests are currently OPEN. Remember to always read the rules before sending in an ask.

Your romantic match is: Satan

Oh boy I have a lot to say about this one.

Well, what can I say? He literally loves how much of a creative person you are. He's silently impressed by your skills.

He will absolutely encourage you to follow your dream and become a writer – we know he is a massive bookworm and, well, his loved one writing? Magnificent. Stunning.

He can and he will read everything you write. Books? Scripts? Songs? You name it.

Also, a lot of your hobbies are the same as his – you bet he will lend you his favourite books and occasionally read for you before going to sleep. He would love to accompany you to theatre and watch movies with you (he's there to wipe your tears).

You want to visit England? Leave it to him.

He needs your patience – as the Avatar of Wrath, he loses his temper pretty quickly. But if you're by his side, maybe he won't be that destructive. Teach him how to communicate and convey his emotions in a non-violent way.

You're his voice of reason.

He's not that good with affection at the beginning – he doesn't dislike it, but he's a bit awkward (he just doesn't know how to react). Give him time, though, and he will eventually become more affectionate. Not fond of PDA though, so everything will be done in private.

He will constantly check on you. Did you have lunch? Did you sleep enough?

He will tease the hell out of you in your shy moments.

You said you have a cat? Now your cat is his cat too.

Your platonic match is: Leviathan

I think you and Levi are really kindred spirits – just like you, he has his very own fantasy world in his mind and he likes to live in it. He would love to share his ideas with you and, of course, he would listen to you, too!

Definetly the friend you can binge-watch anime and play videogames with. Satan doesn't like that because he keeps you awake at night and you need to sleep.

He calls you a normie when he notices you're crying for a sad anime scene. He's crying too.

Honestly, the boy is just so happy he found someone he can talk to about his interests – his brothers never take him seriously and he doesn't really have a lot irl friends. It's refreshing for him.

Please go visit Japan with him. Please.

He buys you figures of your favourite anime characters for your birthday.

I think he's a very good listener, actually – when you struggle with your family or anything else really, just text him and he'll be on his way in mere seconds.

He created a playlist to cheer you up (most of the songs are his favourite openings and endings from animes he loves).

He will definetly ask you to cosplay with him the characters of an anime you watched together.

He fell in love with your gecko. He's almost as cute as Henry.

#obey me #shall we date #obey me shall we date #obeyme #leviathan obey me #leviathan x reader #leviathan x mc #leviathan x you #satan obey me #satan x reader #satan x you #satan x mc #modsatan

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leglesstv · 3 years

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THE DARK DAYS BACK– 2021

I have been struggling with how to start this piece. I guess I should tell you a little about myself.

What I do for a living is not who I am, yeah, I get to blow shit up and its super fun but it’s not what defines me.

I have been a water baby all my life from growing up on the beach to commercial diver.

The ocean or the ocean’s rhythm ebbs and flows within me.

Surfing has been the biggest part of my life for longer than I care to remember. For sure I have been out the water for extended periods before while working on projects overseas. Always with the knowledge that I will be getting wet again, sometime soon. I have never before been concerned that surfing will not be an option. I have always just figured I would surf till the day I die.

October 2019 we were still basking in the glory of a once in a lifetime trip to the Ments. 10 Kneelos on a boat sailing around the Mentawai’s. Absolutely what dreams are made of. Red, Giggs, Lester, Larry, Craig, Steve, Johan, Andrew and myself. Jason the skipper of Switchfoot made it 10 chargers in total.

We had also had a run of solid swell at the local, which for me was all time as my new Kneeon that Nick had shaped for me had arrived. Nick and I had chatted over the phone, had a few video calls and bam!! this magic carpet arrives. Oh my sack, I have never been happier with a stick. My surfing went up in leaps and bounds. Never been happier in my life.

Around this time, I started to get pains in my left hip which radiated down the leg. Initially it wasn’t too bad but it got progressively worse. It got to a stage where I literally couldn’t walk anymore. Thinking it’s got to be the hip, off I went to the hip specialist. Had some photos taken of the hip, back to the clever guy’s office and this is where things started to go south.

Mate, as hips go, yours look beautiful but I recommend you go see a neurosurgeon.

Your spine doesn’t look good at all.

You can imagine, I’m thinking “what the fuck, are you sure you’re looking at the right X-rays.”

So, at least by this time I was on crutches to help me get around and waddled off to see Dave. Dave is a neurosurgeon that had done some work on my spine before.

Same sort of story, pain in my shoulder, radiating down my right arm.

True as nuts, I had gone to the shoulder clever guy who had told me exactly what the hip guy had just told me. Anyway, a long story short, Dave did a decompression on the C7 and T1 vertebrae.

I was booked on a boat trip to the Maldives with my good mate Guy. He is a stand up but I love him anyway. I manage to get on the plane without really having tested the neck or having had time for rehab of any sorts. Probably not my brightest move. We had solid swell the whole trip, but truth be told, I was in constant pain.

Once back in SA, I was off to see Dave again. X-rays and CT scans followed, and Dave said unfortunately we going to have to fuse the C7 and T1 but we will go in through the front this time.

Absolutely no problems whatsoever and I was back in the water 3 months later.

Dave, howzit I’m back. More scans and X-rays (starting to know everyone by their first names by now) followed. Yip, pretty much the same story, crumbling, degeneration of the spine.

I was booked in for a decompression on the L4 and L5. The procedure was pretty standard and uneventful. Unfortunately, just as with the neck, the decompression was not successful. A week later, I was booked in for a multistage fusion, L4, L5 and S1.

So, they going to open me up again along the same incision line, not feeling great about that but hey, there are worse things in life. Waking up from this op was a rude awakening. Fuck me this shit hurts. Trying to move was pretty tender for sure. Anyhow the drugs did their thing and a few days later I was able to get out of bed and lose the dreaded catheter. Walking was fair interesting to say the least, I had to laugh at myself as I looked like a mummy.

Little shuffles with my hands out front but hey, I was mobile. The day they let me out rolled around. Crap balls I felt like shit and was fair tender. It felt like someone was taking a mallet to my head.

I remember battling to get into the wheelchair to get me to the car. The nausea was just incredible, I thought I was going to throw up all over the place. Between the porter and Jo (my wife) they managed to get me into the car.

The ride home is not too far but I was deteriorating at a rapid rate of knots. Got home, Jo managed to get me onto her “throne” where I just passed out.

Through the rest of the day and night I remember fleeting moments of being awake. Couldn’t move, didn’t know what was going on. Basically, a vegetable on the couch.

The next morning Jo realized that this wasn’t good. Somehow or other she managed to bundle me into the car. I have a memory of the gardener holding the car door open with a look of concern on his face. The next thing I was on a gurney at the hospital with Debbie staring at me. Debbie is Jo’s business partner and one of my best friends.

Tests and more tests.

Somehow or other I had picked up Bacterial Meningitis.

Jo had literally just saved my life. A few hours later and it wouldn’t have turned out well.

Some serious antibiotics and medication I can’t even pronounce later, my infection levels started coming down, but the headaches wouldn’t go away. Back into the noisy tube for some more scans. Was good to see all the guys and gals in radiology again.

Crap balls I had a rupture in the thecal sac. Basically, it’s a sac that runs up your spine and over the brain. The sac contains cerebrospinal fluid. When leaking the sac “collapses” on the brain causing insane headaches, headaches that are just next level. Think migraine on steroids.

Back into theatre to patch up the leak.

Once again, they opened me up on the same incision. Success at last, once again freedom day arrived and was bundled into the wheelchair again and back into the car.

Was great to be home with the animals for sure. Jo had made a bed for me in the lounge as walking at this point just really wasn’t an option. To say I was tender would be a bit of an understatement.

A day later, I got this incredible pain down my left leg. Kinda like being hit with a cattle prodder. I remember screaming as the first one hit. Absolute agony, pain like I had never felt. It would last for about 30 seconds but in that time, I couldn’t move a finger for fear of escalating the pain. I just screamed and screamed. Over the next two days, it got worse and more frequent.

This was an incredible low point. I remember crying like a baby. I was emotionally drained by this time. I remember thinking I just want to be normal again. Remember, I can hardly walk, can’t even get down on the toilet to take a dump. I hadn’t had a shit for as long as I can remember.

My wife was washing me and dressing me. It was taking its toll.

This carried on for two days until it got to a point where I just couldn’t move.

An ambulance and crew had to come and peel me off the couch eventually. They dosed me up, got a stretcher underneath me and carried me out to the ambulance.

Jesus, what the fuck!! But hey, could be worse…right?

Back to my favorite people with the noisy machine. Hi everyone, true as nuts I’m back. Another scan revealed that the crushed bone material that they place between your vertebrae was leaking out and catching the nerve going down my leg.

Another twirl in theatre to clean up the debris, by this time the clock on the wall and I were good friends. I used to watch the seconds tick by as the anesthetic started kicking in. I woke up from here being wheeled into high care. Now I have to tell you this was by far my worst experience.

The following morning two nurses came to wash me. I was in absolute agony and they kept moving me and turning me. I was screaming in absolute agony, but they wouldn’t stop and no-one came to help me. To this day I can’t understand it.

Couldn’t wait to get out of there and back on to a ward. Or so I thought…

From there they wheeled me into an isolation ward. Apparently, I had picked up the dreaded hospital Super bug. My infection count was in the 400’s (8 being normal) and to make matters worse, the headaches were back. I had sprung another fucking leak in my Thecal sack. FUCK!!!

Back to my old friend on the wall with the ticking second hand. Again, opening me up on the same line. This time I wasn’t friends with the clock on the wall.

Dave patched me up as best they could.

What the actual…

My new home turned out to be a glass box in the ICU. In isolation in intensive care. Jesus, this isn’t good.

Nurse and doctors were putting gear on to come into the glass box. “What’s going on???”

Machines were everywhere beeping and hissing. “Fuck me, this isn’t good.”

Waking up at 4am with people sticking needles into you to draw blood loses its shine after a while. I think all I ate for the two weeks was watermelon in the morning that Debbie used to bring me with a cup of coffee. When I say bring, I really mean bribe the porter.

Now you must remember I have basically been bedridden for 6 weeks and not had an appetite at all.

I could see the concern on peoples face when they came to visit, as much as they tried to hide it, it was there.

Nights were the worst and the tears used to flow. So as not to let the pressure in the Thecal sac become too great, they drained it every few hours. This as I’ve said to you before brings on insane headaches.

Morphine and I were no longer friends. It made me incredibly sad and depressed.

I came off the morphine by choice and gritted the teeth. Absolutely worth the pain.

Lester and Marco organized a live feed for me for the warmup session before the SA Kneeboarding Champs. What legends.

Once again, I cried like a baby, but these were tears of joy. It was so good to watch my mates surfing and everyone saying “hi” on the feed made me feel like a million bucks. The brotherhood is strong here in Cape Town. Love these boys.

At this point I was literally skin and bone, but my infection levels were coming down and I had managed to get out of bed and make the few steps to the toilet. The sun was definitely coming up for me. For the first time in a long time, I thought I was going to make it.

Fuck, the thought of dying in that glass box haunted me every night there.

Freedom day was like no other. Getting out of there into the sunshine and colors and breeze was a sensory overload, but hey, I was out and feeling good…ish.

My mates, Debbie and Sian had kept me going. Sian is my office manager and best friend.

She tried to feed me all the way through to no avail, true as nuts she used to arrive with bags of food.

God it was good to be home.

Reality starts to kick in pretty quickly. Fuck me am I ever going to be able to surf again, am I ever going to be able to sit on the toilet again (it’s the little things hahaha…)

Time to reset the mind from “fuck me, I don’t want to die in here to I need to get in the water again”.

Enter the amazing Lara, the physio that is a gift from the angels. I remember that late December day shuffling and shaking my way into her office. By this time, all my muscles had wasted away and just holding my frame up was as much as I could muster. I could do about 2 minutes before all my muscles started shaking from fatigue and I was still shuffling like a mummy.

The question Lara asked me off the bat was “what do you want to get out of this.”

“Just get me back in the water please,” was my response.

At this point it was a fantasy I had to believe in, physically I was a mess, but I think mentally I was scarred and the mental trauma was real. But fuck it, if I could survive that, I can achieve anything. The will to get back in the water was incredible and became all consuming.

Walking around the house became my exercise routine initially and braai tongs my best friend (in case I dropped stuff as bending was not an option). I had to hold on to everything at first as I walked along, eventually I could skip the kitchen counter on the way to the TV room and skip the chairs on the way to my room, and so it went on until I could just about walk the whole house without holding or resting.

Lara had given me gentle low impact stuff to do, just to tone the muscles and stretches to get some life back in the buggers. Everything hurt. This was a continuous process that I did all day every day for a few weeks. I was starting to feel more stable on my feet which did wonders for my mental wellbeing. Progress was gradual but I started noticing results which made me feel like a million dollars.

Getting behind the wheel again was a massive boost for me. My buddy Kante who is a running coach, walked with me from my local to St James, what a joy being next to the ocean again, mind surfing every bump that came through. I steadily built this up over time. Eventually I could make it to Muizenberg and back (5 kms). Everything ached at this point and the thought of shortening every walk was ever present. 4am wake ups every day can be a challenge and for sure there were mornings I couldn’t bear the thought of getting up. Sore back, sore hips, it’s dark and it’s cold, fuck this shit. On the odd occasion that I didn’t manage to get going, that feeling of worthlessness would set in. What the fuck is wrong with you, don’t you want to get back in the water? That’s not a cool feeling. I have probably missed 3 days in the six months I have been rehabbing. A 45-minute 5km walk followed by an hour of rehab back at home. I can’t begin to count the many lonely hours I have spent in the dark, walking and processing thoughts and priorities.

My weekly visits to Lara are always a highlight. My flexibility is measured as well as my strength. Some weeks just like some days are better than others. Lately there are a few moments of some days that I am totally pain free. These can quickly be followed by days and moments of crappy pain, but I will take the good ones for sure. Setbacks some and it’s natural to be bummed by them. Thinking “end goal” always helps. Watching Billy Kemper’s story after that crazy injury in Morocco has inspired me tremendously and there is a kinship that forms in adversity.

To keep the spirits up, I have ordered me a new board from Nick (Kneeon) which should arrive any day.

Jedd has also shaped me a 5’4 twinny that looks more like something that should be flying in space rather than the water. Can’t wait to get these beauties wet.

The daily grind continues relentlessly and it’s not always easy to appreciate the reasons for the dark hours one spends with oneself on the rehab trail. I want the prize now. Sheesh, it’s a constant battle upstairs. Here’s the weird thing, the closer I get to the end of April (paddle out day…hopefully), the more fearful I become. Will I be able to, and can I still?

All this and more just keeps swimming in the head and there’s the self-doubt.

Fuck it’s terrifying.

I have gone over it a million times in my head, do I just paddle out at a gentle beach break and see how it goes. Na, that scares me more. Soft waves are hard work and the amount of torque on the spine terrifies me. What if the nuts and bolts pop out?

There is no way in hell I am going back to that building with the big red cross on it. This drives me harder for sure back on the road, back to the floor and core exercises.

Lara assures me the hyperextension of the back I have obtained through this time will definitely be fine for paddling.

The torque and pressure on the lower back coming off the bottom and turning off the top, is what scares the crap out of me. The reef and I are intimate, god knows I have bounced and scraped along her so many times. I have certainly paid my dues.

Wiping out doesn’t scare me, it’s that word again “TORQUE”.

Perhaps I will just go straight on the first few. That in itself presents a bit of a problem at the local, but that’s where my head is.

I know you will all understand this, “what if a section just presents itself, just asking to be slapped”.

It is so ingrained in each and every one of us, that muscle memory just takes over. Going to have to be ever vigilant.

I have swum out to the peak just to be out there with the guys. The first time was not great. It took me so long just to get to the water. Jumping off the railway line so not an option. Doing the walk around and trying to get over the rocks was tricky to say the least.

Feeling the water over my feet was an absolute delight, but crap balls, had the water got colder since the last time? As soon as I laid in the water, it dawned on me that this is going to be quite the journey.

I couldn’t swim on my stomach as the pain was intense, but fuck it, I was going out. I swam on my side and back. Eventually I made it, the guys cheered and whooped, I felt like I had just won the lottery.

It was so good to be part of the conversation out there again, it was so good to hear how stoked the guys were for me, life was good.

I fed off this like I had been starved of life for ages.

Today being the Saturday before the Wednesday that I go back to Dave (the surgeon), brings turmoil to my emotions.

I’m not sure what I am scared of more, being told you aren’t ready or yeah, go get in the water. I am so scared of not surfing to my full potential again. Every day closer brings more panic. I just want it to be over now.

Wednesday morning dawned (but not really), up at 4am and back on the road. Usually, I am thinking about the workday ahead but this morning not so much.

My head is swimming with what ifs. What if there is still something wrong, what if I can’t anymore, what if, what if…

On the drive to see Dave, the surgeon, my heart is beating at a million beats/minute.

It’s good to see Dave again in a weird type of way, he really is a very cool guy.

Anyhow, he sends me off for some more pictures of the spine. Gotta say I was staring at the radiologist for some clues, but nothing.

The stress is killing me, and I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest.

So, back up to Dave with the thumping heart, I can hear it in my ears.

It all looks brilliant mate. What… I could not believe what I was hearing. He took me through the X-rays explaining what he was looking for and everything was just right.

There’s no use putting off the inevitable he says to me, go get in the water…but don’t be stupid. I wanted to scream it to the world!

Obviously, the doubts started kicking in hard right about now, but hey, I had gotten the green light.

Thursday morning I was off to Lara for physio. I couldn’t wait to tell her the good news. The muscles on the left side of my back had been in spasm for two weeks now, so as thrilled as she was, there was the don’t be stupid again.

I had coached myself in my mind for months now, high tide, small waves and just go straight…right.

Friday morning and the reports started coming in. There’s a bit of a wave at the local.

“It’s go time.” With my heart in my mouth, I started packing the car.

Sweet Lord, it had been a while, I had to keep double checking I had everything packed.

I don’t think I noticed any other cars on the way, I was mind surfing all the way through to the local.

I got there a few hours before the high just to get my head straight and check the lineup.

There were some chunky 4 footers coming through, but I wanted some more water on the rock. I watched my mate Dave paddle out and get some screamers.

Steve finally arrived, “I thought you would be in your suit already” he says.

This is it, heart in the throat again, off we went.

Sheesh it was so good to feel the waves crashing over my feet and legs again.

Jumped on my board and started paddling.

Woooohoooo absolutely no pain. Got out to the takeoff zone and everyone was cheering and welcoming me back. How humbling.

Mickey Duffus, a local big wave legend was out. Everybody back off he bellowed, this man hasn’t surfed for 6 months.

For some reason, this made me relax and just enjoy the moment.

Something started standing up out the back, Steve was sitting in the channel waiting for me to have my first ride.

“You going Mick?” I heard someone ask.

Yip I heard coming out my mouth, I spun and went.

Muscle memory and familiarity with the wave kicked in. I made the drop…Fuck I couldn’t believe it came around the section and just flopped off my board.

Steve and Dave had the biggest smile on their faces. The emotion of the occasion just swept over me like a wave, and the tears started flowing. All I kept thinking about was lying in ICU thinking fuck, I don’t want to die in here to taking off on the first wave.

Well, for the rest of the session, I absolutely sent it, trying to take off as deep as possible on the gnarliest set waves. All the coaching I had done in my head for the last few months went straight out the window.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Damn, I felt so alive, without a doubt, the happiest man on the planet. When I got back to the car park, all of the Kneelo crew were in the car park and boy were they happy for me.

Sean Thompson was there too, shooting my waves and recording the moment.

How blessed am I. Nothing was getting the smile off my face.

When I lay in bed that night, I kept thinking of the months of rehab and hard work I had gone through. The many lonely dark hours of the mornings, but I had done it.

The next morning, we were on it at first light with the Westside boys coming through as well. The Kneelo brotherhood in Cape Town is tight. I am so humbled by all the good wishes and thoughts from everyone.

Just want to mention Lester, who kept me sane in the last two months. We chatted every day for the last while, sometimes a few times in a day. He kept me motivated and hungry and for this I will be forever grateful.

There are so many people to thank for getting me through this period. I think you know who you are, and I will get to everyone individually.

It’s good to get wet again.

I started writing this piece to help anyone in similar circumstances.

Stick with your plan and give it everything no matter how hopeless your situation may seem.

At the end of the day this was such a therapeutic exercise for me. Something I didn’t expect.

The trauma was and is real and this has certainly helped me face it and deal with it.

If this helps even one person get over and through a rough period of hopelessness, its job done.

Mickey Kirsten

Legless Contributor

SA Kneelos

#leglesstv #kneeboard surfing #mickey kirsten #health #sakneelos #lester sweetman

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inforapound · 4 years

Text

Emboîté Part 6

A/N - This is the final chapter. It’s a bit of a ride. As @youbloodymadgenius doesn’t love angst, I softened it with sickly sweet suckie fluff. I do have an epilogue in mind which I may or may not write. We’ll see.

Pairing – Ivar and Sarah (Aethelswith)

Words – 3,900 approx

We fell in love, blinding love, totally consumed by the other. Dance was the single and only part of my life that prevented me from being swallowed entirely by Ivar’s passion. I was his obsession and I loved it. Within a month we spent every moment outside of rehearsals and weekend performances together and when the seasonal break came, I taught ballet and we were glued at the hip for the rest of the time. Exploring the city like visitors, going to movies, countless suppers out, being that couple who couldn't sit without tangling in each other’s arms on the same side of the table.

Mornings, evenings, stolen moments in the day were spent making love. Our bodies moving as if in some race to absorb the other. Within a few months, there wasn’t a part of me, not an inch, not a speck of flesh, he hadn’t claimed and worshipped. Not a single thing two bodies could possibly do, that we hadn’t. His hands on my skin, my face, my tummy, everywhere, felt as familiar as my own. Always, always the moment he pushed inside me, his words of devotion would flow, how beautiful I was, how perfect I felt around him, how much he needed me, how lucky he was to have me, that I was his baby, his woman, his princess. It was fiercely intense and dangerously addictive without a moment to catch my breath. His relentless lips inhaling me, tasting me, gulping up every whimper and cry of his name.

Within half a year our bodies new the other so intimately, our love making could stretch hours or just a minute if that’s all that time would allow. Never parting without him reminding me that he was mine and I was his and that we fit together. It was true, we did. Was it healthy? Probably not but I didn’t care. He was unlike anyone I could have dreamt of. Not an easy man but a remarkable one. A man of extremes and complexities with an immense ability to feel. His brilliance and passion as vast and powerful as his fear of being without me. There was a pain inside him, it had been there long before me but somehow, he felt it less when we were together.

His moods, oh my god. They were overwhelming with his immediate reaction always being hurt or rejection. Our fights at times were brutal. Arguments that would start the same way each time with my desire to return home for a night or two. Heading back into season, I wanted to rest and refocus, get used to waking up in my own space in anticipation of the opening season.

Without fail, it would catapult him into a tailspin of anger, even despair. He refused to understand my desire for space or time alone, particularly after the man had purchased me everything I could ever want to keep at his place. Pajamas, clothing, toiletries, goddamn matching sweatsuits to his.

In truth, I didn’t really want to be away from but I felt I should. Should as an exercise in maintaining some shred of independence.

Opening night at the theatre was just over a month away and we were already fighting about my upcoming rehearsal schedule.

On those nights when I would simply walk out, leaving him to sit alone in the dark and brood or smash something against his concrete floors, I still lay awake on my crummy pull out couch and ache for him. Sometimes even cry for him. My body feeling adrift without his arm over me or his chest against my back anchoring me down. I’d wake in the morning to sometimes a dozen texts, the last few always sounding defeated. Was I like a drug to him? Possibly.

When I would return, he’d just embrace me, not allowing me to sit anywhere but in his lap, the hurt immediately forgotten. Always making me laugh by being a dork, doing something stupid like shoving his head up my shirt, pretending he was lost or someone had turned out the lights.

Ivar Lothbrok was the love of my life. My partner and my very best friend and I couldn’t imagine life without him. And one day, in an instant, with a single phone call, everything changed.

----

“Hello.”

“Sarah!” Wynne’s urgent tone pulled me from the haze of sleep. Ivar’s heavy arm over my side.

“Wake up.”

“I’m awake.” Pushing down on the mattress, I forced myself up, leaning back against the headboard. Scooting toward me, Ivar again draped his arm across my outstretched legs. “What’s up?” I asked knowing by her rushed voice that this was not a call about scheduling.

“It’s Giovanna. She’s been tapped.”

“What?” my eyes shot wide. “Seriously?”

“Yes, Paris baby. And guess what else?”

“What?”

“You’re up girl. You’re in. You got lead. Board decided this morning. This is your official call.”

Mouth gaping, I couldn’t say a word.

“Sarah! You’re our new principal starting opening night. 4 weeks today.”

“Oh my god,” I replied in a whisper, looking down to Ivar’s face, half-buried in his soft pillow. As if feeling my eyes on him, his armed squeezed my legs.

“Right!?”

“Wow.”

“Yep, get in here so we can talk about your contract. Practice for you starts, like now.”

“Yeah, okay. Oh my god. Ok. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Dropping my phone onto the duvet, I exhaled loudly, closing my eyes. The thoughts were entering my brains so quickly, I felt as if I couldn’t hold on to a single one of them. I needed to get to the theatre.

“Ivar, I’m dancing lead.”

Looking up, he withdrew his arm, turning onto his side.

“I gathered, congratulations.”

“Giovanna…. she’s going. I learned so much from her. Now, I have to be her?”

“No, baby, be you. You’ve earned this. We should celebrate,” shifting closer, he lifted his head, extending his arms and yanked me by the waist down beside him.

“No,” I smiled, pushing meekly on his chest as he leaned in kissing the side of my face. “They are expecting me.”

“I’m expecting you,” he smirked rolling onto his back, heaving me over to straddle his waist.

“Come on. Let me just slip it in really quick before you go.”

“Ivar! Really romantic,” I laughed, looking down, pushing my legs further apart as his hands slid up my thighs, grabbing my hips and grinding up against me.

“I’ll make it the most romantic 3 minutes of your life.”

“Okay,” I laughed again, pulling off my camisole, bending down to get my morning kiss.

----

The first week, I rehearsed full days often staying into the evening. Declining Ivar’s offers of picking me up or bringing me supper at the theatre. Hyper focussed, I did not want any interruption or distraction, not a single break in the pace I had set. At first, Ivar was understanding but within days, I could sense his hurt.

When I would arrive to his place late in the evening, he would go through the motions of being the supportive boyfriend, rubbing my feet, offering food, a hot bath but I could feel the resentment. His love making was needier, demanding, even pushy. Or, perhaps, I was beginning to detach. My mind, previously filled with thoughts of him and us, was consumed with preparation and the expectations of the following day’s practice. That and my body needed sleep, terribly. Not two hours of sex when I was already facing a short night with an early morning start.

Around and around we went the first week, the more I withdrew, the more desperate he became for my affection. Constantly needing reassurance. By the second week, I just couldn’t return to his place after rehearsal. I walked into my apartment, looking around as if I had never lived there. Texting him that night, I lied. My first ever lie to him. To my best friend and the love of my life. Said there was a problem with the water lines and the building manager had called. Explained that since I was already there, I was just going to head to bed.

The following night, I again returned to my apartment, and the night after that, my excuses sounding weaker and weaker and his frustration only growing. I started leaving out the back door of the theatre like some woman in hiding avoiding her abuser who may or may not be waiting in an SUV out front. My Poor Ivar. His only crime was loving me fiercely, compulsively. But I just couldn’t deal with it.

He called and called and texted. I began hitting the DECLINE button as I had no idea what to say and no extra energy to diffuse his upset. I was exhausted and it was make or break time. Do or die. I didn’t want us to be over. Not at all. Hitting that red ignore button on my phone was me wanting a pause. A pause on us - our relationship until after opening night, after the first couple of weeks when I had proven myself worthy of replacing Giovanna and beating out Nicole the other second. New steps, a new role, the pressure of representing the theatre, not to mention, the ticking clock counting down the dwindling timeline for my career. My life! Twenty-two years of ballet and in a matter of weeks, it would all be put to the test.

Ivar was an intelligent man, he loved me and wanted me to succeed but he had never known hunger. Couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to be a woman fighting in a world filled with talent for a chance. With no money, no family to fall back on. His circumstance and mine weren’t his fault but in the back of my mind, I worried his need for me overpowered his ability to support my success.

The truth was I loved him. I wanted to spend my life with him, but I couldn’t deal with him now. After two weeks of this cat and mouse game, a switch flipped, and I stopped all communication. No more excuses. Nothing.

Asleep one night on my pull-out couch in my studio apartment, a knock on my front door woke me at 2am. Like a cold-hearted coward, I froze, laying in my bed, pretending I wasn’t there. The knocking turned into banging and I literally pulled the covers up and cried. Cried because I needed him to leave me alone. The noise stopped and at some point, he left. When I opened the door in the morning, there was a bouquet of pink tulips thrown on the dirty carpet of the hallway. My poor Ivar. He was hurting and I kept shutting him out.

My phone blew up with texts for days and days, angry and demanding and I deserved it. Every word. How does a person cut another from their life like that? The last I read before turning off my phone was a plea for us to meet at Piccolo's to talk. I couldn’t. It would not be just supper. He would want more, everything, and I would give it to him. I needed to stay away. By the third week, his texts stopped. No more calls or long voicemails.

As much as I kept my mind on the steps, on the music, on my breath, my heart ached for him. Physically hurt as I sensed his rejection and pain. I was torturing him and at the same time, I had to dance like I was as free as a bird.

----

The black SUV should have stood out to me but it didn’t. My mind was on the morning ahead as I raced down the sidewalk at 7am with a paper cup of coffee and my gym bag slung over my shoulder. The door of the vehicle opened, and my steps slowed as I noticed the familiar sight of Ivar’s cane hitting the sidewalk and him stepping out from behind the door. Nearing dropping my coffee, my eyes widened, shocked at how broken he looked. Pained, angry, pale, his blue eyes watery as if he hadn’t seen sleep in days.

My reaction? I glanced at the door of the theatre to calculate whether I could make it inside before he could stop me. Who had I turned into? I wasn’t afraid of him so why was I doing this? Had I subconsciously, or even conscientiously decided that being with him would cost me my career? Like I had cost my mother’s when she was left pregnant.

“Sarah.”

Sounding like a ghost his voice pulled me out of my thoughts, my focus returning to his hardened face.

Sarah?” he repeated again, frustration flaring in his tone. “You can’t be bothered to pick up my calls or even make excuses anymore? I have to come here, and catch you off guard like an insane person? Baby,” he pleaded, his face contorting with emotion, “I, I can’t believe this. Any of this. That you can just drop us.”

“Ivar, I can’t do this right now.” My brows pulled together, and I knew I looked like I was begging.

“You are going to blow me off when I am right in front of you? Sarah! If I’m awake, I‘m missing you. Fuck! I can barely…” looking down, he shook his head, shuffling his cane and I could tell he was working hard at controlling himself.

“I will call you later. Tonight. Ok?”

“But you won't,” he shook his head again,” looking up.

Breaking from his intense glare, I dropped my eyes to the pavement, holding back the wisps of loose hair flying around my face. I didn’t know what to say. I just needed to get inside.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” I whispered, stepping forward and heading for the front door.

“Wait,” he cried, and I felt a tug on my gym bag and shoulder. Snapping my head to look, his hand was gripping the side of my bag.

I must have looked panicked as when I pulled away, he quickly let go, sending me tumbling sideways, and down flat on the sidewalk

“Baby!” he yelled, shuffling over me, his hands grabbing trying to pull me up. “Baby, I’m so sorry. Fuck, are you alright? It was an accident. I’m so sorry,” he rushed, looking horrified.

Awkwardly he pulled me up onto my feet, spilled coffee all over the pavement. “Are you okay?” he reached forward and I stepped back, blocking his embrace.

As if I had kicked him in the groin, he gasped at my rejection.

“Baby, I didn’t mean for you to fall.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“I know!” I shot back impatiently, straightening my clothes. “I know it was an accident.” Looking back up to his sad eyes. “I have to go.”

“Sarah, are you alright?” a man’s voice came from the theatre door. Turning I saw the guy who did our lighting, standing in the doorway, holding the glass door open.

“Is she alright?” Ivar’s head shot back. “I’m trying to talk to my girlfriend, thanks,”

“Doesn’t look like she wants to talk to you.” He yelled back, matching Ivar’s volume.

“It’s none of your goddamn business.” Ivar barked over my head.

“That’s enough,” I muttered, turning back to the theatre.

“Todd, it's okay. Thank you. It's fine. Really. I’m coming right in.”

Nodding, Todd flashed Ivar a poignant look before letting the door close.

“What kind of fucking name is Todd? Is he some teen lifeguard?”

“Ivar, please,” I kept my voice soft, turning to look at him, embarrassed by the seen we were creating. “Just go. I know it was an accident. Please,” my voice cracked, and tears began to fill my eyes. “I can’t do this right now. I’m….” shaking my head, I felt everything inside me shatter, all the pressure of opening night less than a week away. “I can’t do this Ivar,” I repeated, throwing my hands up frantically, my voice wavering.

Frowning his eyes bore into mine, “Can’t do what? Us?”

“Yeah.” I choked out the word feeling no relief. “I can’t do us…anymore.”

“Baby...” his eye narrowed, his mouth falling open in disbelief, “don’t do this. Please,” slowly he shook his head, uncertainty, fear, devastation in his startling blue eyes. His hands hung heavily at his sides, his fingers twitching like all he wanted was to reach for me and wrap me in his arms.

“I’m sorry Ivar,” I whispered, taking a step back. I had to put him out of this misery. “It’s over.”

His eyes flashed wide with the final blow and I turned toward the theatre, making my way through the front doors without looking back to the man I had felt was my forever.

----

It was time. Opening night. The steps ingrained in my mind as if I had choreographed the ballet myself. I could dance them without music, without cues, in the pitch black, prepared as anyone could be.

Sitting on my chair in a dressing room, I stared into the mirror. My eyes and brows heavily lined, the border of bright lights reflecting in my eyes and I felt...numb. No, not numb, I felt sad. Empty. There was a dull hum inside my head dampening any sense of nervousness or excitement. I glanced at the screen on my phone for the hundredth time in an hour but it was still black. No messages.

Leaning forward, toward the mirror, I inspected my make-up again, turning my head side to side, the harsh rouge on my cheeks stretching up to my temples. I felt ugly. Hideous. Like a monster who could eat her own young. Placing my arms across the table, I lowered my head, resting my forehead on the edge.

A knock on the door startled me and I lifted my head peering into the mirror at the reflection of the door behind.

Wynne poked her head in, “Knock, knock,” her black bob framing her round face. Opening the door wider, she stepped in holding a vase of pink tulips.

“We usually have to wait until the end of the show to get flowers,” I said.

“Not you miss. Not when you have your own cheerleading section.”

“Hmm?” I squinted, the pressed powder on my face feeling as if it might crack.

“Ivar,” she lifted the vase slightly, frowning as if I should know what she was talking about.

“What?”

“You guys are still not talking? He's in the balcony with his family.”

“What!” I spun in the chair, turning to look at her. “How do you know?”

Entering, she kicked the door closed behind and walked over, placing the glass vase on my make-up table, quickly taking a seat at the next station.

“A group of gorgeous men, two of whom have women with them, and all have the last name Lothbrok.”

“Oh my god. I’ve never even met them.” My eyes shot wide. “Ivar never wanted to because of family tension...” shaking my head, “the oldest two are married. It must be…” my voice fell silent. Saying nothing, I looked down, fiddling with the sheer material of my costume. “Wynne,” I whimpered, “I’ve been so terrible to him.”

“Awe don’t worry. You have all season to make it better.”

“What do you mean?” lifting my chin, I looked back up to her.

“He’s reserved the balcony every Saturday until the new year.”

“What!”

“Yes, he must be loaded.” She jerked her head toward the huge bouquet. “There’s a card there.”

Reaching for the vase, I spun it, grabbing the white envelope with gold trim tucked inside the rim.

“Shit, do you think I should read it before I go on.”

“Up to you but....yes. You are obviously thinking about him and he’s here so he’s obviously thinking about you.”

Blowing air out between my lips, I tore open the envelope, pulling out the card.

“Stay though, okay? While I read it?”

“Yep.”

Looking down I was hit with a surge of excitement as I saw that the card was completely filled with Ivar’s perfectly symmetrical writing.

Sarah,

I know that I acted horribly and was out of line the other day. I am not sure anyone will ever understand what having you in my life means to me. It’s no excuse though.

I am so proud of you and how hard you have worked to get here. You are such a strong person and I hope you are not upset that I had to come tonight and watch this incredible moment in your life.

I fell for you the second you got into my car that night at the auction. Hopelessly and completely and I acknowledge how smothering and controlling I’ve been since. I have never felt this way before and was terrified that if I loosened my grip, you’d slip away. It left you feeling divided and I know I put you in the position where you felt you couldn’t have it all. I should have been championing you toward your dreams from the start. You deserve everything.

I accept your decision to focus on your dancing and I will support you from afar. I wish I could have been there with you tonight, taking your photo, kissing you good luck before you went on but here we are.

My brother asked why I was so broken and why I was convinced I had to be with you. I know in my heart, in my bones, that it just won't ever be anyone else. What I’m saying is that I love you, Sarah. I love you. I know that I have never said those actual words. God, I should have. A thousand times. They just never felt big enough and I have seen what people do to each other who use them. But I love you.

Lastly, I’m sorry I didn’t know how to do this better.

Enjoy every second of tonight. You will be amazing.

Yours,

Ivar.

Pressing the card to my chest, I slouched against the back of the chair, closing my eyes, willing away the tears.

Emboîté, emboîté, the voice of my first ballet teacher rang through my head. Emboîté, she would call out to us little girls floundering like ducklings across the vast wooden floor.

Turning to Wynne, I smiled, sniffling through my tears. “Do you have a pen, and can you take something to Ivar? Right away?”

----

Dear Ivar,

There are things to talk about but most importantly, I am so incredibly sorry and I love you too. So much. I want us to be together, in fact, I want to move in. Formally move in, if you’ll still have me, of course.

No matter how crazy life gets, let us have the comfort of each other every night and together learn how to do this properly. I will see you after the show and I am so glad you are here. It would not be the same without you.

Yours always,

Sarah

----

When I landed and lifted my head listening to the eruption of applause, I took my bow and for the first time looked into the light. Tipping my face up, I focussed on the balcony and smiled with all my heart at Ivar who, up from his chair, stood staring down, pounding his hands together, clapping. The white envelope was tucked under his arm and his beautiful smile was lit with the brightness of our future.

@youbloodymadgenius @naaladareia @funmadnessandbadassvikings @redama @mdredwine @didiintheblog @yourpurplequeen @londongal2810 @fields-and-fields-of-poppies @hexqueensupreme @littlecarolina94 @oddsnendsfanfics @youbelongeverywhere @blonddnamedhandz @waiting4inspiration @zuxiezendler @heavenly1927 @jzr201 @hecohansen31

#ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar fanfic #ivar smut #modern ivar #ivar love #ivar romance #vikings ivar #vikings fanfic #ivar and sarah #alex hogh andersen

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curewhimsy · 4 years

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Utane Uta x Soune Taya infodump (Shiro-Sora)

General Chemistry Uta is pretty sarcastic, blunt, and reserved, so it’s an interesting development to see her grow and interact with the pure and shy Taya as they both overcome their shortcomings together. Uta just lost her passion to depression, but that's touched on eventually/later. She's all like "I hate life" but that's because of depression. She also lost her interest in music to depression, but being with Taya and being in a musical school has her slowly regain it. Taya tries to help out Uta and make her smile but... he ends up upsetting her one time... When Taya finds out how depressed Uta really is he starts crying for her and saying "I'm sorry..." and Uta is like "Why are you crying? Nothing is your fault..." And Taya apologizes again and says it's a habit that he feels responsible for his friend's sadness. Uta hugs him. "I haven't been able to cry for years, so I'm a bit jealous..." She says. "But... I still don't want you to cry though... I like to see your smile, ok?" Taya is very polite, and selfless. He's always willing to do favors for people. He speaks in polite language. He bows at many occasions (Even in this universe that takes place in the USA, and not Japan.) He is humble as well. These may seem like quirks or obsessions as first, but it stems from his feeling of obligation to do things for people and "not be a burden," because he had friends and teachers who treated him like a burden before. When his anemia caused him to faint or miss classes, everyone treated him as a burden. When he starts hanging out with Uta, she comments on how he feels like a butler and tells him to loosen up, it's okay to be a bit more relaxed, and selfish even. Well I think the day Uta finally cries and lets out her emotions is when something bad happens to her (fighting with her father perhaps,) but Taya comes and helps and comforts her, then confesses his love for her. And then come the waterworks, from both of them! Other General Background Stuff (including their gender identities and such) Uta Utane is non-binary, and first discovers it at age 20 through Taya, after getting to know him and realizing she is non-binary as well. Uta eventually switches to identifying as demigirl and uses she/her and they/them pronouns. Taya Soune is non-binary (he/him, trans-masculine, lesbian) and discovered his identity at age 14. He is DFAB and had been raised as a girl until then. A lot of his gender identity is still a secret from his parents, even though they know he takes testosterone hormone therapy. (They assume he is a trans man.)

Uta’s mother died when she was 4 years old. This fanfic takes place in the USA, so she is Japanese-American. Uta’s mother loved music and singing, and named her daughter after the Japanese word for song. After Uta’s mother died, her father didn’t take it well. He abandoned all music and began to hate it, because it brought back painful memories of Uta’s mother. Taya is also Japanese-American. His parents named him “Taya” with the intent of giving him an easy name to pronounce and relate to for Americans. Since Taya was designated female at birth, he was also given a name that sounded female to Americans. He still decided to keep the name after transitioning, however.

Taya picked up his habit of politely bowing when he was 15 years old and took a summer trip to Japan for two months. For this trip, he studied Japanese extensively to be able to communicate with the local people. He can speak Japanese at an intermediate skill level because of this. While he was in Japan, he felt that bowing was an expression of utmost politeness and now continues to do it back in the USA out of both out of reflex and courtesy. Uta had never been to Japan. Her father, who abandoned music after Uta’s mother died, never taught Uta the meaning of her name. When Uta was 10 years old, she was mistaken as being named Utah by everyone and was teased for it. So she Googled her name. She learned that it meant “song” in Japanese. She began to learn about Japanese culture, especially pop culture and music, in secret from her father. Quirks and Funny Moments Uta’s catchphrase is “Yare yare...” (“Good grief...”) Taya’s catchphrase is “Is that sou, desu ne?” (“Sou desu ne” is basically “Is that so?” in Japanese. I combined the two. He also tends to mumble “Sou, ne” which means “oh, well,” and alludes to... his last name! Taya is smart and dignified but... very clumsy and naive as well. Uta is badass, but kind of “chaotic dumb” in certain ways. Sometimes she forgets to do her homework while doing her homework. Don’t ask. Taya loves sweets, and his favorite is strawberry shortcake. He is also a good pastry chef... Uta is horrible at cooking! She is so horrible, that she makes things mega-explode! She is so horrible, she needs Taya to cook for her just so she can get by! Taya gets completely drunk after just a few sips of alcohol. When his 21st birthday comes in the story, he has his first drink. He gets drunk almost instantly and becomes a lot less shy. He starts singing drunk karaoke along with an intoxicated Meiko. (The songs Ghost Rule and World is Mine come to mind.) Taya and Momo Momone once got into a rather heated argument over whether strawberries or peaches are better. Uta asked herself why she was surrounded by airheads. Uta buys Taya a strawberry Squishmallow for his birthday. In no time, Taya is able to think of a personality and an extensive backstory for his new plush friend. Uta is... impressed.

One time Taya tried playing Uta’s violin instead of his usual cello. He played an earsplitting tune and ended up breaking the violin. Not only does it just break, it comically explodes into little pieces! Taya wears fancy and posh menswear all the time. To every occasion. Even to sleep. Don’t judge him. Taya is 5’4” but wishes he were at least 5’8”. He has a slight Napoleonic complex, which is somewhat unexpected. It is eventually revealed that Taya started dressing in such an elegant way to make up for his lack of height. Uta reassures Taya that his height is fine. (Once before they started dating, she accidentally slipped out that she thinks Taya is “handsome the way he is” and became flustered. However, Taya didn’t take Uta’s compliment as having any romantic undertones.) Uta’s height is 5’0” and she is rather fine with it. Deep down, she doesn’t want Taya to be tall. She likes Taya just the way he is. “Why did you set me on fire, Uta? Why didn’t you just write your essay?” -Quote from Taya, when Uta didn’t write her essay and ended up setting Taya on fire instead. (Don’t ask.) Their Part-Time Jobs Uta works part time at a hat shop. This is because Uta loves hats. In fact, she is usually never seen without her favorite hat, a black beret. Even when she is wearing a different hat, such as a beanie, she still usually is carrying her beret with her somewhere. Uta’s hat shop is at the mall, in the dimly-lit corner where nobody really goes to. It is a small shop and she is the head of it. The sales at the shop are poor. The place is named “Defoko’s Hats,” after the nickname Miki gave Uta. The nickname Defoko came from now Miki thought Uta was such a “default” type of person the first time she met her, whatever that was supposed to mean. (The word default written in Japanese katakana is pronounced “deforuto.” The first part of “deforuto” was combined with “ko,” a common ending in Japanese girls’ names, to make the nickname Defoko.) Taya works part-time at Denny’s as a waiter. He started working there to pay back the funds it took to fix a window that he broke by crashing through said window like the Kool-Aid man while he was drunk after having only one drink on his 21st birthday. (Because he cannot hold his alcohol.) Taya over-achieves at his job at Denny’s and acts as if he is a waiter in a five-star restaurant. Along with always wearing his posh, elegant clothing to the job, he is very overly-polite and tactful when taking orders, even bowing at times... people have commented that he feels more like a butler than a waiter. Taya also tends to pour the drinks at the table. In fancy teacups. He pours from a fancy kettle into the cup from a high angle. In fact, he pours them from so high, he has to get a ladder. Everyone in the restaurant stares at him. Taya is quite odd, but he does get a lot of tips. And more people have been coming to the restaurant since he had started working there. He isn’t even going for a gimmick however. He is literally just being Taya. The Theatre Club Taya wanted Uta to join the musical theatre club with him. He felt unconfident in himself alone. Taya is somewhat experienced in singing, though he is a complete beginner in the acting aspect of musical theatre. Uta has no interest in theatre, though joins to help out Taya. The biggest reason Taya wanted this is because he had a play he dreamed of acting out with everyone. It’s a play he wrote himself, from his heart. Taya is alone a lot, but he hopes this play can bring him and his schoolmates closer together. This is all Taya asks for. Uta admires his sincerity. However, since Taya is a newcomer, and the other members of the club are well-established, nobody is thinking of considering Taya’s play as their acting source material, even though nobody else’s ideas are really clicking. Given his nature, Taya doesn’t speak up. They only pay attention to him when Uta tells everyone that he’d like to share an idea. The play is… short, and similar to the one in Clannad? Except with… more people… lol. Haven’t thought too hard about the plot yet. However, it has the line, “Take my hand, I’ll take you to a place where miracles happen.” Taya’s character will be the one to say this line. Note: Okay so I thought harder and brought in the lyrics to “Dolls” by Rozenkreuz-P. So it’s basically about a child who felt alone in the world, so he built a mechanical doll to have as a friend, though he had to leave the doll behind one day to depart to “a world beyond ours” AKA death. The doll was left all alone to age and weather. The doll comes to life and is able to move. It becomes able to speak, so it sets out on an adventure, meeting people in the world it was left behind in. The doll helps out many people with its magical power. The doll’s favorite saying is “Take my hand, I’ll take you to a place where miracles happen.” One day, the doll eventually breaks, and is unable to contain the spirit within it. The doll’s spirit is able to reunite with its beloved owner who created it. Also the doll is a genderless character, because well… Taya wrote this. The work is eventually given the name “Fantasia Story,” exactly like Nagisa’s play from Clannad. Taya is playing the role of the doll. In-universe, it is said to have an “otherworldly feel” to it, and even “Wow, did you write this, Taya? That’s incredible…” A few songs are composed and written by the music club for the play, and the only one mentioned by name in the fic will be the solo Taya sings. It’ll be an actual song as well, Dolls by Rozenkreuz-P (feat. Kagamine Rin). Since this fic takes place in the USA… pretend it’s been translated to English or something. I imagine that maybe IA was the one who composed the song in-universe. Friendship Interactions (From when they were still just friends) Taya felt platonic (friendship) love for Uta the moment he first met her. He was lost on the college campus during his first day, and Uta offered to help Taya find where he was going, even though she didn’t know much about the campus herself. Taya immediately sensed that Uta was a good person. Taya wanted Uta to stay longer and talk with him for a while. When Uta went on her way and left Taya after she couldn’t help him, he felt dejected, but he felt so happy and blessed when he met Uta again later in the day and got to become close friends with her. He states the memory of their meeting is enough to make him cry. Taya is very fond of Uta. He sees her as such a wonderful and special person. He cannot stand seeing her hurt or upset, it hurts him as well. Uta grows to be very fond of Taya. The kindness and pureness of Taya’s heart widens Uta’s perspective on life. She is inspired to be someone more like him, who doesn’t harbor harsh feelings in their heart. Uta grows very protective of Taya. In a sense, she becomes willing to do anything for the sake of him, even doing something embarrassing in front of everyone in physics class to take the attention away from Taya sleep-talking in class. As best friends, they open up about their problems to each other and are always willing to be each other’s shoulder to cry on. When their lives take a turn for the stressful, they have each other. Their bond deeps this way. Uta’s crush on Taya began when she saw how confident he became when acting in the play he wrote himself. Also through the story in the play, Uta felt she got to learn so much about what’s in Taya’s heart. Uta began to see Taya as a wonderful, sweet, humble, and charming person. Taya’s crush on Uta started out as a “platonic crush.” It gradually grew into a romantic one. Taya began seeing Uta in a different light when he realized she was not only kind, but very brave and willing to help anyone in need. Once when Taya wasn’t feeling good, he still felt obligated to work and to do Uta favors. Uta told Taya he needed to rest and to take it easy. She attempted to cook chicken and vegetable porridge for Taya but nearly made the kitchen explode... however, by a miracle of friendship (or love?) the actual porridge didn’t turn out so bad. However, that night Taya’s condition worsened and became severe. He needed to go to the emergency room for pneumonia and a blood transfusion (due to anemia.) Taya began to feel like a burden, but Uta reassured him he wasn’t and blamed herself. They then worked out that maybe it was nobody’s fault. This bout of illness happened shortly before Taya was to perform his musical theatre play. Therefore, Taya isn’t in top condition when he performs. However, he still does his best and gives a good performance. Shippy Details and Interactions (From after they became lovers) Taya is a very gentle and affectionate person. Right after he confesses his love to Uta, he is rather chaste about showing his affection out of shyness. But they grow to trust each other more about these feelings. Taya is a huge hugger and loves to cuddle. Uta is gray-romantic, meaning she rarely feels romantic attraction. She seldom felt romantic feelings in her life. She never felt them substantially before meeting Taya, who she considers her first, and really, only love. Uta never thought she would be big with hugging and cuddling, but physical affection with Taya gives her comfort. (DISCLAIMER: I’m not trying to state that people who lack romantic attraction are “broken” or need to be “repaired.” Other types of love, such as platonic or familial love can be just as, or even more meaningful and fulfilling than the romantic kind.) Taya likes singing Uta to sleep. He even recorded his voice softly singing lullabies for Uta to listen to while falling asleep for when he can’t be available to sing for her. Uta thinks this is very sweet of him. Taya likes holding/hugging or clinging to Uta gently as they fall asleep together. Sometimes when Taya is feeling down, Uta does this to Taya and it comforts him greatly. The Emotional Part TW: ABUSIVE PARENT

———

Taya is practicing lines from the short play he wrote himself. He reaches his hand out and says “Take my hand... I’ll take you to a place where miracles happen.” This captures Uta’s heart.

Eventually in the story, something emotional happens. Uta gets in a fight with her father over her college major. Uta has learned to love music again and now truly wants to pursue it. However, Uta’s father still hates music, and hates that his daughter’s name is Uta (meaning “song”), and hates that the family’s name is Utane (“singing sound”.) Uta’s mother died when she was young. Her now single father is distant, abusive, and wants Uta to be a business major.

Things get emotional between them, and even a bit physical. Taya sees the whole thing, and steps in at a certain point as Uta’s father is about to hit his daughter. Uta tells Taya to stop for his own good, not wanting Taya to have to get hurt. Uta grabs Taya by the hand and runs off.

Once away from the scene, Uta then vents to Taya and tells him that life has been terrible because it lost all its meaning... Uta starts sobbing and letting out all her pent-up emotions. Taya hugs her, unable to handle seeing Uta cry, letting tears slide down his own face. After crying and comforting Uta for a bit, Taya says... “Uta, take my hand... I’ll take you to a place where miracles happen...” This time he’s for real. He‘s reaching his hand out to Uta. He‘s trying to comfort her. Both of them are misty-eyed. Uta takes his hand... and smiles at him. “Now, shall we go?” Taya smiles back. “Yes...” They take a walk to the place where they first met... And after a talk about their memories, Taya confesses his love to Uta at the top of the hill under the stars. Uta’s Life, Music, and Singing Uta Utane started out not being a singer. Until she went to Sonare Community College, the music-oriented college the story takes place in, and met Taya, she had never taken a singing lesson in her life. Uta’s late mother used to love singing. Uta herself was exclusively a violinist at first. She started playing the violin in childhood. When she lost her passion for music to depression, she still continued to play the violin simply because she felt she’d come too far to abandon it. Early in the story, Uta went to karaoke with Taya to help themselves come out of their shells a bit and become less shy in performing. Their new acquaintances Ritsu Namine and Ruko Yokune gave very powerful performances of -ERROR and The Lost One’s Weeping, and blew everyone away. Next, shy Taya gave a performance of From Y to Y, and Uta found out that he actually had a really beautiful singing voice. Uta went up on stage next and sang Jitter Doll rather horribly. Her voice was screechy, scratchy, and off-key. It was actually so bad that the microphone started making a weird feedback noise. She became so embarrassed that she stopped in the middle... and confessed with shame that she wasn’t a singer, and that she just came to help out Taya. Everyone cheered Uta on regardless. It was a great feeling, and pushed Uta to want to pursue singing. Uta becomes Taya’s singing partner, and Taya coaches Uta with what he knows about vocals. Within a year, the quality of Uta’s voice develops well. Eventually, Uta is outside with Taya. A mood strikes them and they start singing. Uta is singing a solo part, and suddenly her father comes up. “Uta?” He says. Uta is suddenly revolted by his presence and ready to take Taya’s hand and run away. She hates her dad and was ready for him to say something awful. But rather... “When did you learn to sing like that? You sounded just like your mother. It brought back memories...” Uta’s father is smiling sentimentally? Uta still doesn’t trust him, and neither does Taya, but Uta’s legs somehow just won’t move. “I...” Uta starts to speak. “You know, I realized something.” Uta’s father interrupts. “I should’ve stayed strong for you. I should have let you pursue music if it made you this happy. Your mother may have passed, but... music is where she lives on. How... how have I not realized that she lives on in you...?” Uta’s father suddenly begins sobbing. Uta doesn’t know how to react at first... but Taya pats him on the back. “Dad...” Uta eventually finds the words to say. “It’s okay now. I’m sorry I never realized you felt this way. I’d recommend not bottling these things up. Seek some professional help, okay? The first step to recovering is realizing these things. I promise, things will get better.” Uta’s father never fully redeems himself, but he lets go all his hatred caused by a traumatic past he cannot change and stops burdening his daughter with his harsh feelings. Two years after the beginning of the story, Uta goes back to the same karaoke place where she first sang Jitter Doll horribly. Little does she know, her performance became somewhat infamous there among the workers for being awful. All 46 Vocaloid and UTAU characters featured in the fic will be present in this scene. This will be a party scene, and perhaps nearing the series’ finale. “Hey, isn’t she that one who couldn’t sing?” The staff says upon seeing her. “Yes, and I’m back.” Uta says. “Now let’s turn up the volume in here. I’ll be requesting Jitter Doll.” This time, Uta totally slays every note of the song with great power and technique. She isn’t impeccably skilled yet, but she’s getting there. Applause booms from the group. Uta’s improvement is as clear as day. Not only did Uta’s singing improve within those two years, but so did her life and character. Her personality is now more cheerful and less closed-off, and she managed to overcome depression alongside Taya, becoming much more confident and buoyant in the process. Eventually... (After Story and Epilogue...) Taya plans an event on the hill where he and Uta first met. It’s a formal evening cookout with a lot of karaoke. In the place where they first met, Taya proposes marriage to Uta on a day in April. They are 24 years old. Their honeymoon is in Tokyo that June. Two months after the honeymoon, in August, they have their wedding and get married. Three years later at age 27, the two adopt their first child, a baby girl they name Sonata.

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springday-aus · 4 years

Text

Werewolf!AU with Chanyeol

moodboard link

Group: EXO

Member: Park Chanyeol

Genre: fantasy, fluff, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: 3k

so the alpha is obviously Suho bc

leader, duh

Yifan and Minseok are co-betas

and the exo boys all live together in a house in the woods

but this is more of a house they can go back to

they all live within the city/suburb

(depending on what they do)

Chanyeol lives in the city since he works part time at a music shop

he likes the hustle and bustle of the city

despite the pollution, crowdedness and rude people that are there

but when he found the whole in the wall music shop

he absolutely fell in love with it

the owner loves him btw

(Chanyeol brings in a lot of customers)

anyways

I don’t want to say werewolf!Chanyeol is just a giant puppy

but that’s exactly what he’s like

he needs to go on frequent runs in his wolf form

someone always needs to come with him because he rolls around a lot in mud

oftentimes, he has to stop himself from peeing on trees

Sehun: “dude, that’s been marked”

Chanyeol: “yeah… BY ME AHA SUCKER I OWN THE WOODS”

Sehun: “oh god”

Chanyeol is also super hyper

like he’s got more stamina and energy than the other boys

which is why he goes on the most runs

pent up energy is a scary thing

(so the exo boys have learned)

that also means he’s one of the best fighters of the pack

(Kyungsoo is a near second, but he’s really good when he’s angry)

but I mean fighting when necessary

so Chanyeol’s wolf form is………. huge

since he’s really tall, his wolf form literally towers over the others

he almost looks like the alpha

almost

this also gives him an advantage in fights bc intimidation usually works the fastest and results to the least amount of violence

anyways

so his fur is a light brown, mixed with white—there are some dark brown spots too, but you really have to squint to see it

you know how his ears are really big and stick out

best believe his ears are literally the same in his wolf form

they’re so big and fluffy and if his eyes don’t give away his emotions, his ears do too

his paws are also big

but that’s also bc his hands are big

Kyungsoo: “what did you eat as a child?”

Chanyeol: “jealous, shorty? no one can be as tall as—oW sTOP HITTING ME”

they can hit him all they want

bc by the end of the day, he, Sehun, and Yifan are the only ones who can reach the top of the cabinets

despite his tall stature and formidable fighting skills, this man is the clumsiest

he causes the most accidents in the exo house

in his apartment building

but he hasn’t had an accident in the shop

(not yet anyways—Jongdae and Baekhyun have a side bet going as to when that’s gonna happen)

it happens a lot in the city too

but it’s not his fault

he….. just has really long limbs and don’t know how to control them 100%

it’s fine tho because he was able to meet you through because of his clumsiness

okay so mates are a thing for supernatural creatures

including werewolves

while some mates are wolves too

others are human……………

……… like you

so Chanyeol was on the street, walking back to his city apartment

he was with some of the other guys (Baekhyun and Jongdae)

and then he smells something

something sweet

and alluring

so he follows it

in fact, he runs after it down the street

(with the others chasing him)

he’s running past all these people and he’s getting closer and closer

that’s when he runs into you

and I don’t mean the cute kind of running into you

I mean this man full on tackles you

obviously, it’s by accident but

it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt less

while you were curious to what just happened

he was completely enamored

he’d heard of finding one’s mate

mate meetings can happen in wolf form

and others in human form

the main thing was that your body would just know they were the one

he had no idea how he was going to meet his mate, but this is was definitely not how he pictured it

meanwhile, all you knew was that you were walking back to your apartment

and next thing you knew, you were on the ground

and looking into a pair of brown eyes that sparkled down towards you

Chanyeol: “hi”

You: “hi”

Chanyeol: “I’m Chanyeol”

You: “hi, I’m (Y/N)”

Chanyeol: “that’s a nice name”

You: “thanks”

Baekhyun: out of breath from running after Chanyeol’s long ass legs

Baekhyun: “hey, as cute as this is, maybe you should get off of them?”

You: “I agree with the short one”

Baekhyun: “RUDE”

Chanyeol gets up and pulls you up along with him

when he gets a hold of your hand, he gets that feeling

that feeling that he never wants to let it go

unfortunately, when you do, a part of him cries on the inside

(that’s the big puppy coming out)

Chanyeol: “I’m sorry about ramming into you like that”

You: “apology accepted”

Chanyeol: “can I make it up to you…?”

You: ???

Chanyeol: “like…. a… dinner?........ date?.... if you want……”

you don’t know why, but there’s something in you that makes you say yes

maybe it’s bc this gigantic dude who towers over the crowd

looks like the softest lil marshmallow with his red cheeks and big ears

so you go on the date

and you actually have a great one

he takes you out to a drive in movie theatre, along with dinner

it’s simple

but it’s perfect

so you go on a few more dates and next thing you know

you’ve been in this relationship for like seven months

he’s great—he’s super supportive and radiates optimism

Chanyeol and you.... just click

but like there’s something kind of weird......

like there are periods of time when he says, “sorry, I’m gonna be busy that night :(“

and that’s fine, but he tells you like… a couple of months in advance

you wanna mind your own business

but you’re also kinda curious bc he never tells you what for

and things kind of get weirder when you officially meet his friends for the first time

you already knew Jongdae and Baekhyun from the first meeting

and you met them a couple of times after

but now you were going to meet the whole group

you’ve heard horror tales of Kyungsoo and Minseok

(courtesy of Baekhyun, but Jongdae says to ignore it—something about Baekhyun being annoying lmao)

you’ve also heard a lot about Jongin and his alarming chicken consumption

along with stories about Sehun and Tao

(and their inability to agree to anything—they’re like babies that way, at least that’s what Chanyeol says)

Suho is like a mother hen and Yifan is like the father bear

apparently, Yixing and Luhan are the nicest so you’ll bond with them the quickest

they’d be the least chaotic members, so you were advised to stay close to them lol

so this all sounds super cute and you are ecstatic to meeting them

and then the time comes for you to meet them

at first, the meeting is just………. kind of odd to you

because it’s at the exo house……………….

so he takes you into the woods to go to the house…………

but listen

if a man took you into a deep part of the woods

where you are very unfamiliar with—wouldn’t you be concerned about being murdered?

yeah, Chanyeol didn’t really think this through bc.....

that’s exactly where YOUR head space is

lowkey you were like

hahahahaha pls don’t kill me

and just as you’re at the acceptance stage like

okay, this is fine—I’ll just die

the house comes into view and y’all enter

Kyungsoo made dinner

they planned a game night

it was so much fun—you could really tell these boys were like family

and for a second you forget that you are isolated in the woods with 12 rowdy boys

and that this is not normal……. at least, not for humans

unless they’re some frat boy that can’t get over the fact that they peaked in college

anyways

after this meeting, it was more and more common for you to join those group meetings

you’ve met the others’ partners too—well, at least those who have them

despite you getting along with all of Chanyeol’s friends, which is great

there’s still something a bit off

and the thing is

is that Chanyeol knows you don’t know that they’re wolves

so he made sure to tell the boys that

one, you’re human

and two, you don’t know that they’re wolves so they need to keep it lowkey

but.......... exo is anything but lowkey and this was something you kind of picked up on

not just with all of them being in an isolated mansion-like house

the main thing with the boys is that they let it slip that they own the land here

but what do they do as jobs to have the house?

and sure, Suho is like a mother hen, but like they also kind of do like a reporting thing

like………… some kind of boss…………..

and yeah, Yifan is the father figure……. but there’s some type of hierarchy thing that Yifan is “reporting” to Suho too……

it’s all really weird

and you can’t tell if it’s a bro culture thing or something, so you don’t really say or ask anything

and yeah, Chanyeol thinks he’s slick

he is not bc

there’s also a couple of things about Chanyeol that’s kind of off to you

like he’s weird, but then there are some things that are just………. Weird

for example, he’s very affectionate, right?

but like, he seems to hold himself back for you

yeah, skinship is a thing for you both

but

let’s just say second base seems to be the farthest you’re going, even tho you’ve made it every clear you are willing to go all around and do a home run twice

there’s also another thing, which is fine, but like

weird

he really likes tummy rubs

like really likes it

and you’re just kind of like

What

and like sometimes, when he feels like it, he’ll eat really really rare meat

he doesn’t eat it in front of you but sometimes when you buy raw meat

it just

goes missing

it’s just really weird

and then one day

you were at the exo house

at this point, you two have been together for about a year (?) now

and you were chilling in woods with Chanyeol

he looks super super serious

Chanyeol: “I have something I need to tell you and I don’t know how you’re going to handle it”

You: “um, okay, sure—what is it?”

Chanyeol: “I am a werewolf”

You:

Chanyeol:

You:

Chanyeol:

You: bitch what

You: “are we going that thing where we just talk in vines bc you’re not making any sense and you’re doing it wrong”

Chanyeol: “no, I’m serious”

you…… just laugh

like uncontrollably

because this is the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard

Chanyeol’s just kind of…… watching you lose it

in retrospect, maybe he should have thought this through

after you finish laughing, you wipe a couple of tears from your eyes

You: “phew, Channie, that’s pretty fucking funny”

Chanyeol: “(Y/N), I’m not kidding—I’m a werewolf”

then, what he says………………… sinks in

and now it’s your turn to look at him like he’s lost it

You: it’s not too late, maybe I can take him to a therapist

You: “um, Chanyeol, you know this prank isn’t very funny”

Chanyeol: “don’t say that, I can prove it”

You: oh no

he steps back and takes off his shirt

(to which you snap a mental image)

he climbs onto a higher rock, where he towers over you

You: “hey, Chanyeol.. you might, uh, wanna get off that”

Chanyeol: “I got this”

You: he’s gonna die

and then he jumps off

there’s a flash of light and he transforms, landing on the ground on all four paws

all you saw was a giant wolf that’s at least twice your size

you could only stare

you tried not to move

that’s not very hard considering how frozen you were

for a second, you think you’ve gone insane

but it’s there in front of you

the wolf moves closer to you, slowly and carefully

when it gets close enough, it bows his head to you in submission

and when it opens its eyes

you see the familiar, warm, brown eyes that sparkle at you

the gold specks in them shine a bit more

I want to say that you were able to accept it real quickly

but you don’t

it’s kind of a shock……

so you take a little break from all of this

while Chanyeol understands, it doesn’t mean he’s not upset

his other half is apart from him and he feels like his heart’s slowly being ripped out of his chest

it’s not that you had a problem with it

it was the process

yeah, he lied but like

it’s bc he’s a supernatural being

(that you can empathize with)

but that means other beings probably exist

what if that one waiter was a vampire who could have eaten you

or that one swimmer was a mermaid

this is just a collision of so many worlds

at this point, you were just trying to understand what actually happened

time passes and you don’t even know how much has

until Suho and Yifan end up at your apartment door

they both came with like a fruit basket or something (in their defense, they didn’t know what you would like)

Suho: “hi~ can we come in?”

Yifan: “we just wanted to talk and check-in”

they end up at your place for hours

they really did come to check in with you and see how you were handling the whole thing

and took the time to explain how things worked for them

(the impact of full moons, the concept of soulmates, imprinting….. the whole package)

and they answer any questions you have had

they really were super sweet about the whole thing

and eventually, you ask about Chanyeol

You: “is… is he okay?”

Yifan: “he’s been acting like a kicked puppy since you left—oW”

Suho rolls his eyes at Yifan, not apologizing for hitting him

Suho: “yes, he’s upset, but he’s more concerned about you and where this relationship is supposed to go now?”

Yifan: “we’re not rushing you or anything, but he…. he’ll need an answer eventually”

Suho: “just think about and sort out your emotions, and when you’re ready…. you’re welcome anytime at the exo house”

it was real eye opening for you

when they left, they also left their numbers for you

Suho: “call anytime, a mate of an exo member is a member of ours”

later that night, while you in bed, you thought about it

you should really talk to Chanyeol, he deserves an answer

but, it wasn’t until another couple of days pass that you actually talk to him

it’s a rainy day and you were sitting on your couch, watching tv and eating cereal

all of a sudden, the sadness hits you

and you really miss him

and you really wanted to see him

so you do

you grab a pair of shoes and your keys—immediately heading out

you drive through the rain, thinking about what you were even going to do or say

next thing you knew, you were at the exo house’s door

you really should have thought things through, but

you didn’t really know what else to do

you knock on it, hoping that Chanyeol was there

Tao and Sehun open the door, seeing you standing there—soaking wet from the rain, in your sweatpants and with mismatched shoes

You: “uh, hi guys”

Suho pushes in between them and sees you there

Suho: “oh my god, (Y/N), come in, come in”

they get you in

Kyungsoo gets you some green tea

Yixing gets blankets for you

Luhan picks out some warm clothes for you

and Minseok dries your other clothes

the other boys and their mates keep you entertained for a bit

amidst the chaos, Jongin rests a hand on your shoulder

Jongin: “Chanyeol went out for a run, you can wait in his room if you want”

when you find a chance, you do—you go up the familiar stairs and hallway

and you just

wait

there’s a bit of a lull of silence and then you hear his voice

Chanyeol: “(Y/N) is WHAT?”

you can hear him running up the stairs and before you can say anything

he tackles you onto the bed

You: “CHANYEOL WE TALKED ABOUT THE TACKLING”

Chanyeol: “I’m sorry, I got excited” :(

you and Chanyeol settle on the bed and just………. talk

you get things sorted out and it’s great

after you figure out things, everything’s kind of back to normal (as much as it could be)

you lowkey kind of live in the exo house now

like your things are in Chanyeol’s room

anyways

werewolf!Chanyeol is a lot more fun than people would think

he’s a lot more relaxed about things

now he’s most likely to be lounging around in his half form, with the whole ears and tail thing

you give him a lot more tummy rubs

you scratch his ears too

the whole dog package

I mean wolf

you actually came to one of the full moon nights and it was super fun

Chanyeol spent the whole night right next to you

he’s also a lot more openly affectionate

I mean the whole package: hand-holding, lap-sitting, public cuddling

he knows no boundaries

he is super careful about his strength tho—always checking in with you and making sure you’re feeling safe and comfortable

and it’s safe to say that y’all are way past second base

I’m not saying anything else for the kiddos

other than the whole full moon transformation thing

there’s no real difference between the boy that tackled you and the wolf that you’re with now

and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him as his mate

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chibimyumi · 5 years

Photo

Art Report - ‘Elisabeth 2019′ TOHO ACT 1

【Click here for Act 2 】

Dear everyone!~~!

Now 3 months late since I promised, I finally bring you a VERY detailed photo report on ‘Elisabeth’ 2019!

DISCLAIMER:

I am not going to retell the story of ‘Elisabeth’; I will skip quite many scenes. For the full story, please look up a synopsis or something alike.

There is actually quite a lot I am not sure whether I remembered right. And Furukawa always changes his performance every few days, so my report does not cover all of Furutod.

Some of these drawings were made in a rush, while for others I had more time.

Cast - Matinée July 19th, 2019

Elisabeth - Manaki Reika

Der Tod - Furukawa Yuta

Lucheni - Yamazaki Ikusaburo

Franz I - Hirakata Genki

Sophie - Koujun Tatsuki

Rudolf - Miura Ryosuke

Child Rudolf - Jin Yoshiharu

The Descent

The descent has always been one of my favourite scenes. This number is just so great, a mere memory of it is enough to turn me into one giant goosebump. I was especially looking forward to this, because this would be the first time we see Furukawa Yuta as the role of his dreams; Der Tod.

Though I am no fan of the metallic wings, Furutod’s descent was SO MAJESTIC. The theme of Der Tod started, and from the ceiling a pair of boots descended.

Some ankles revealed itself, the calf... more of the calf... and there was more calf... AH finally some knees. Uw, more legs...leeegs...leeeegs... “WHERE DO HIS LEGS STOP!? Oh, there! No wait, those are his upper thighs. Ah, finally, his waist.”

I heard from someone who counted, Furukawa descends one beat earlier than Inoue Yoshio’s Der Tod does, because otherwise by the time Der Tod needs to sing, Furukawa’s face has not shown yet ( ´艸｀)

When Furutod touched ground, his Death Angels undid his wings, and he stepped onto the stage for the first time.

The way Furukawa carries himself as Der Tod is very two-dimensional, in a good way! When he descended he was like a Greek statue, but when he stepped forward, he gradually came to life. In this photo ⇊ we catch a small glimpse of Furutod’s statue-like face.

Sissi’s Entrance

Manaki’s Sissi was the cutest and most majestic thing I have seen. When she made her appearance as child Sissi, it was very believable that it really was a child standing before me. She was beaming and her eyes were full of dreams. And yet there was this edge in her. It was easy to see how this young girl would grow into a woman who would survive ordeal after ordeal.

Enter the Underworld

During a family meeting, Sissi fell from the tree which wounded her so bad she enters the Underworld. She was escorted by the Death Angels, and at first Furutod did not seem interested at all. “Another mortal who died, nothing new.” When he approached her to take her life, Sissi sought eye-contact with Der Tod, and her eyes were so full of power and life, it was like she - though confused - was daring the lord of the Underworld to end her.

“The Rondo of Love and Death”

The song ‘the Rondo of Love and Death’ began, and I was stunned by how much Furukawa managed to improve his already good singing. He always had trouble with the high notes, and sometimes he would be a bit short of breath. But by ‘Elisabeth’, Furukawa has improved his vocals so much that even the highest notes went as smooth as silk.

♪♬ “The wounds from which my pale blood flows Only you are capable of easing my pain I shall return you your life” ♪♬ - Der Tod

This is the first time when Furutod comes fully to life, and for the first time his eyes showed an emotion that was not utttttter boredom. We learn that Furutod is like a spoiled child who would take any opportunity to play. Despite literally being the personification of Death, the only thing Der Tod seems to want to kill is not the lives of others, but his own boredom. To me, Furutod is the first Der Tod that made me realise what this ‘pain’ in the script really meant to him; a lethal apathy paired with the suffering of not being able to end it.

The other Der Tods I have seen are also good; but especially in the Takarazuka version, this ‘pain’ is strongly hinted to be ‘a loveless existence’. A lethal apathy was a very refreshing take for me to see.

♪♬ “Until the day I win your love I will continue my pursuit... I will pursue your love no matter where you go”　♪♬

The song was meant to be a very romantic one, but once sung by Furutod, this pining lover’s song became that of an entitled stalker’s threat song. In the other versions of ‘Elisabeth’, Der Tod is also a stalker, of course. But the emphasis on the romance is usually laid on so thick, one would have to give the situation some extra thought before acknowledging how creepy it truly is.

Furutod however, only allows you room to either interpret it as a problematic kinky-romance, or sheer threat.

The Imperial Wedding

Franz I and Sissi get married, and Der Tod attends the Imperial wedding as well. I was a very lucky b*tch, I sat only 2 seats away from where Furutod passed us in the aisle.

... he was literally only a meter away from us, and my little dork sister Ò^Ó didn’t see him. Sigh. She was too busy looking at the stage. Which - not gonna lie - was glorious too. But Furutod thoughhhhhhh.

His long cape trailed behind him, the way he walked was so smooth it was like he was floating. We have seen a preview of Furukawa’s float-walk in Kuromyu, where he applied ballet even to walking. I thought that was already the height of Furukawa’s ballet skills; BUT I WAS WRONG! When I saw Furutod’s float-walk from up close, I realised that as Sebas, Furukawa was at least ‘TRYING’ to look human. With Furutod he did not bother.

Speaking of my sister @cutiepeimei , she also sketched the image of Floating!Furutod. He ghost.

The Game is On

After Furutod saw his ‘toy’ become someone else’s, it was like something snapped in his mind. He was very calm at first, solemnly warning Elisabeth that she will be the end of the Habsburg glory.

♪♬ “All misfortune starts here, as of today The demise of the Habsburg glory The downfall of an empire of which no one knows Let me tell you bit by bit, the source of all disaster People are blissfully oblivious of the scent of misfortune The die is cast by your grave mistake Elisabeth!” ♪♬ - Der Tod and Choir

But then after Elisabeth spoke her wedding vow, tears started streaming down Furutod’s cheeks, and suddenly, he broke into hysterical laughter.

He started with a few chuckles under his breath which bled into an uncontrolled laughter. Before we knew, this ominous laughter became a full-out hyena screech, going “iiiiyaaahahahaahahaha!”

The Japanese fandom is rather divided on their opinions on this hyena laughter. I at first didn’t like it either; I found myself pinching my nose willing myself not to laugh in the theatre. Despite it being funny at the time, it was indeed very very chilling. It wasn’t until after I watched other versions of ‘Elisabeth’ (because I just missed Furutod SO MUCH) that I realised I was REALLY missing Hyena!Tod. So I have settled with the opinion of “Hyena!Tod Hell YES!”.

“The Last Dance“

In the interview published in ‘Soen September 2019 Issue’, Furukawa shared with us that he asked costume designer Ikezawa to make this costume military based.

Though all guests attended the Imperial wedding in formal wear, Furutod chose to appear in military uniform because that was the moment he decided to declare war to Elisabeth. Quite a few years had passed between their first encounter and the wedding, and Furutod was done waiting; he was going to conquer his toy actively now.

In the song ‘the Last Dance’, Furutod made his appearance in a cool-headed manner, and he stayed so for... a few seconds. It was like he was trying very hard to remain calm, but his bottled-up impatience just could no longer be suppressed.

As Furukawa said himself before in this interview, “‘the Last Dance’, starts in gentle melody and sets the mood. But then suddenly the rock starts, and both Der Tod and the musical itself transform themselves.”

Sissi was trying to escape the room, but the Death Angels had already guarded every corner of the room. Whenever Sissi seemed to finally have found a window to escape, a minion would just spin her on her heels and push her back to the boss.

Usually, this scene is one of my least favourites in non-Takarazuka versions, because it is usually performed with too much rape-vibes. Furutod however, was not rape-y at all. In fact, he hardly ever touched more than Sissi’s hands. The scene was devoid of sexual energy - it was just war.

By the end of the song, Furutod saw how Sissi was devastated by him, and seemed to regret for a second that he used the wrong strategy. Had he not scared her, then Sissi might have been less quick to run away from him. It was very refreshing to see a version of this scene wherein Der Tod reflects on how he scared somebody unduly.

Alas, no use crying over spilt milk, Furutod shrugged it off. Before he left Sissi he bowed to her, and with a gentle smile he gestured at the pathway that the Death Angels cleared for her. Furutod reminded Sissi that whether she escapes him or not would be entirely at his mercy, just like now. “Your last dance will belong to me.” ♪♬

“I Belong to Myself”

At the crack of dawn after Sissi’s wedding night, her mother in law Sophie inspects every inch of her, and even blamed her for not having consummated the wedding with her son. Sophie dictates the rules at the Imperial court and strips Sissi of every last bit of her autonomy.

Look, ⇊ it’s Akisono Mio (Frances) on the left!

Franz hears the noise from his bride’s chamber and comes to check on her. Sissi cries out to Franz, begging him to save her from Sophiezilla. Franz - the spineless mama-boy that he is - smiles at Sissi, and has the guts to sing the following:

♪♬ “ You have to learn the duties of being Empress You need to repress yourself, that is your life from now on I am your ally, but all of Mother’s advice is for your sake” ♪♬ - Franz

Sissi will swallow none of this bs, and declares that even though her body might now be the Imperial family’s property, her soul belongs to herself alone.

I have seen a lot of whimpering Sissis who turned this power song into a damsel-in-distress-song. But Manaki Reika was full of determination and spite. It was very empowering to see. She was looking up, of course, and it makes sense because the Imperial Theatre has multiple stories of seats. But because of Manaki’s immense presence, it felt like she was declaring her autonomy to a greater existence.

Hungarian Independence

Sissi’s life was getting harder and harder. First, her husband was very busy, so the couple did not have any time to produce any children. By the second year, Sissi finally gave birth to a baby girl, but the baby was immediately taken away by Sophie. Not only did Sophie go full Disney Villain by stealing a baby, she also took the liberty of naming the child after herself.

The state was in turmoil, and Franz had trouble keeping everything together. He was willing to make a last bet on his wife’s charms, and asked Elisabeth to come with him to Hungary.

Here, Sissi saw her chance to make a move, and demanded that she would only come if Franz made his mother return baby Sophie to her. Defeated, Franz finally made his first move.

Franz was supposed to show himself in a speech wherein he declares Austrian authority over Hungary. Sissi however, showed herself in a dress in the colours of the Hungarian flag, and greeted the Hungarian people in Hungarian language and acknowledges Hungary as an independent nation. Using this political move, she managed to single-handedly win the favours of the Hungarian people who were fighting for self governance.

The Hungarian revolutionaries however, were VERY unhappy with this development. While they would have been seen as ‘heroes who fought for independence’, they would now be reduced to ‘ungrateful rebellions’.

Elemer, played by Uehara Takuya (Grell) made his move to assasinate Sissi, but was stopped by Furutod. Furutod hid Elemer’s hand that was holding a gun with his cape, and showed the revolutionaries that the Imperial guards were very close by.

Furutod gave the revolutionaries an assuring pat on the shoulders and created an opening for them to escape the guards. The revolutionaries thanked him heartily. Furutod scoffed, reminding the audience once more that Sissi’s life and death was entirely in his hands.

Just like Furukawa explained marvelously before in this interview, Furutod is “an entity that represents both life force and death; death has no meaning to human beings if there is no life, after all. Death’s power ultimately, comes from his authority over the termination of someone’s life.”

Sissi seemed to be very full of herself after she won the popularity of the Hungarian people, but Furutod would not allow her this joy. His Death Angels appear with a small coffin and presented it to her like a gift box. They opened the ‘gift’ and revealed the corpse of baby Sophie to her mother.

Sissi screeches in pain and anger, and Furutod wrapped his arms around her, again with tears streaming down his face.

♪♬ “On the eve of your wedding you danced Your eyes shining with love for me But the arms around you were the Emperor’s Do you remember? Now in my eyes too, my love for you shines But in my arms rests another Elisabeth, quickly acknowledge your love for me And realise that you will lead his Empire into ruins” ♪♬ - Der Tod

Furutod is easily the cruelest interpretation of Der Tod I have seen... and I have seen MANY. (Ack, I forgot to draw this scene... might add it later.)

Ultimatum

Sissi’s produced 3 children by now, but all were taken away by Sophie. Her only son Rudolf was but a young child, but he was being literally being whipped into discipline by Sophie. Whenever the boy would say he wanted to see his mother, Sophie would whip him, and tell him his mother is a bad influence.

Sophie did not like Elisabeth’s success in Hungary, so she had been controlling every aspect at the Austrian court.

Sissi’s had enough, and wrote an ultimatum to her husband, demanding that he needed to choose either her, or his mother. If he did not comply, then her legs door would always be closed to him.

Franz takes the letter, but did not know what to do, and left. Sissi did not seem to have a lot of faith in Franz to be able to stand up against Sophiezilla either, and almost crashes.

Then in her lowest moment, Der Tod appeared and showed her the understanding and compassion she could get nowhere else. He sings in a cooing voice:

♪♬ “Elisabeth... cry no more Rest embraced in my chest Now is the time you can finally be free in the eternal world where time never ends” ♪♬ - Der Tod

He touched her very gently, only ever guiding her with his finger tips, never pulling her. Here he respected her bodily autonomy which her husband would not.

♪♬ “Elisabeth... let us go just the two of us...” ♪♬

Sissi seemed to be falling for the temptation, and Furutod got carried away because for the first time in years, he seemed to be a bit more successful. He forgot to maintain his gentle act, and pushed Sissi down a bit too forcibly. Sissi snapped out of the dream, realising her seducer was not unlike her husband who’s been trying to force himself onto her, and pushed Der Tod away.

♪♬ “No, I will not run! It's still too soon to give up! As long as I am alive I can obtain my freedom Get out! I will never rely on you!” ♪♬ - Elisabeth

“MILK!”

‘Milk’ is such a powerful song...! Yamazaki’s powerful and slightly drunk voice is PERFECT for Lucheni... eternal sadness that 2019 is probably his last time as Lucheni...

Austria was suffering from famine, and the price of milk had sky-rocketed. Lucheni here poses as a milk merchant and sells milk to the starving people. There was barely enough milk left for one small jug however, and the people raged even further.

Lucheni then explains that all the milk is gone because it got into the bathtub of the Empress, who was using food to maintain her beauty.

♪♬ “Can the beauty of the Empress really save a nation!? Instead of looking at other countries Have some eyes for your own!” ♪♬ - Lucheni & Choir

After having successfully fueled the anger of the people, Lucheni then ships cans and cans of milk to the Imperial palace, where Sissi was having her beauty routine.

The Mirror Hall

Franz could not really keep it in his pants anymore, and finally decided to confront his mother. He gathered his courage and approached his wife, to tell her that she will have her authority as the children’s mother back, “so please, please sleep with me again.” Though this is exactly what Sissi wanted to hear, Franz started another train of spineless excuses for how he was toootally not a coward for NOT standing up against his mother, but that he merely had to abide his duty as the Emperor.

Sissi makes another power move. She showed herself in the iconic Empress Elisabeth dress, and presented herself so majestically she manages to shut her husband up. (Sorry, my art here cannot quite represent just HOW majestic she was...)

My sister’s self portrait does cover the reaction it demanded though!

When Franz wanted to get close to her, Sissi stopped Franz with but a mere hand-gesture. Though Sissi presented herself as a very elegant and perfect wife, her words carried a very strict warning that Franz should not mistake her as his property just because she’s happy he showed her basic decency.

♪♬ “I am pleased to hear your words I too wish to walk by your side, Your Majesty However, my life belongs to myself!” ♪♬ - Elisabeth

Franz was not the only one who was impressed, Furutod too had to begrudgingly admit he was one-upped by Sissi. Now that Sissi had determined to live on regardless of the hardships, Der Tod was forced to literally stay in the background, watching Elisabeth reconquering everything that was stripped away from her bit by bit.

♪♬ “Because I've permitted you another chance to live you ended up finding the purpose of life!” ♪♬ - Der Tod

The platform on which Furukawa stood rose up, and he pressed a hand onto his heart, raising his head to the sky.

Herewith, the curtains of the first Act fell (and while applauding, everybody shot up from the seats and bolted for the toilets.)

【Click here for Act 2 】

#Elisabeth #Das Musical #Furukawa Yuta #Yun #Yuntod #Furutod #Manaki Reika #Chapi #Sissi #Art Report #Review #Be prepared for ACT II #TOHO #Imperial Theatre

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experimentaldragonfire-fics · 4 years

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experimentaldragonfire’s SU Fic Rec List

Stuck at home? Running out of stuff to read? I figured I’d put together a semi-comprehensive series of fanfic recommendations so that all the hours I’ve spent on AO3 over the years can be considered at least vaguely useful. A lot of these are quite old, so if you’ve only read more recent fics, you might find something that you haven’t seen here!

Please feel free to add your own links and recommendations--I personally would love more reading material! This list will focus on SU fics, but I’ll probably make more for other fandoms going forward if anyone’s interested. Bear in mind that, as I’ve mentioned, since many (most) of these were written a while ago, they might not represent exactly how the plot of the show progressed (though they now provide a pretty interesting look at the older fanfic tropes/theories!)

Also, upfront: most of these, when ships do appear, are Lapidot or PearlRose--clearly, I’m very narrowly-focused on what I read. And if one of your fics is on here and you want to be tagged, let me know and I will do so!

Steven Universe Fic Recs

General (None or canonical/background/multiple ships):

histories by avulle (T, F/F, Gen)

“Pearl (pearl) is born in what would have been the year 100,492 BCE. (She is not older than the entire human race—but only just.)”

An introspective look at the Crystal Gems through the years, written in a style that’s practically poetic and absolutely gorgeous.

Inferior Blue by hTeDruknenPotaT (M, Gen)

"Your name is Lapis Lazuli. Lapis is a fun thing to name your child when your last name is Lazuli, and when your name is Lapis Lazuli, blue seem like a nice color to dye your hair. It's fortunate that blue is your favorite color, that you manage not to despise it after all the blue you've been surrounded by all your life."

Lapis Lazuli meets a strange young boy who helps to heal the scars of her past.

The first time I read this fic, I stayed up until 5AM and cried into my pillow through the final chapters. And it continued to make me cry every time I reread it. Massive angst warning, but if you can handle fics that are beautiful but tragic, this is for you.

capacity by broken_halleluiah (G, F/F)

After a routine council meeting, Pink Diamond insists on repairing a broken piece of equipment. The result is far more than she bargained for.

A fic speculating on the nature of Pearls in Homeworld society, written well before we got to see any of that in canon. As such, it isn’t entirely in-line with later canon, but is still entirely worth reading.

Breaking Down by PTlikesTea (M, multi)

Rose's world view is shattered by a black market pearl and the realization that everything she knows about them is wrong.

An extensively long series of shorter mostly-self-contained stories exploring a version of Homeworld society where Pearls are considered as little more than disposable property. Major warnings for Pretty Much Everything--definitely keep an eye on the tags--but this is an iconic series of works, started in 2015 and predating many of the later revelations about canon Homeworld.

A Gem and Her Pearl (Rose) by Potential Violet (G, gen)

Blue Diamond forces Rose Quartz to get a pearl, changing Rose's life, the pearl's life and the course of Gem history. All relationships begin somewhere, this is the beginning of Rose and Pearl's.

Another take on Rose and Pearl’s meeting, and the status of Pearls in Homeworld society (there’s a bit of a theme here with these recommendations). Again, predates most canon revelations regarding the topics, and predates all of the canon information about the Diamonds.

Pearl, Interrupted by AceyEnn (E, multi)

In August, Steven Quartz Universe was born.

In August, Rose Quartz died in childbirth.

In December, Pearl decides she can't handle any of it.

Or: Pearl Tries To Kill Herself And Ends Up In A Therapy Group Run By Her Best Friend's Mom (Well, One Of Her Moms).

Human AU focusing on Pearl dealing with Rose's death--or rather, not dealing with Rose’s death. Major content warnings for suicide attempts, self-harm, etc (please read the tags), but overall a very well-written story. Still updating, despite being first posted in 2016!

Lapidot:

in which Peridot is Not At All Surprised by the sudden appearance of a new waiter by gaySpaceRock_exe (G, F/F)

Peridot meets the new waiter at her regular restaurant and immediately falls head-first in love.

Cute and fluffy, what more do you need in a fic?

Homesick by DrPaine (G, F/F)

An encounter at the Galaxy Warp.

Short oneshot predating the Peridemption/Barn Arc, can be read as friendship rather than romantic.

Observation by DrPaine (G, F/F)

Peridot is a technician, meant to catch every detail. Not something she’s very fond of, but making yourself aware of your surroundings can be helpful, when you’re slipping into troublesome thoughts.

Incomplete but very much an introspective look at Peri’s character as perceived back in 2015-ish. Not as much focused on romance as on concepts of identity and anxiety.

Of Stage Lights and Stage Fright by AcrylicPaint (M, F/F)

All Lapis wanted was to participate in the local production, but there was a minor element she hadn't taken into consideration when she agreed to take the leading role, and that was; dealing with the cute techie's constant staring.

That, and the fact she was beginning to stare too.

Human theatre AU, and an excellent completed multichapter fic. I remember that when I first read this, I was in high school and part of the musical, so it was a very topical read--and now it’s the height of nostalgia.

No Regrets by Raptor_Red (E, F/F)

No Regrets, or, the story of how Peridot tried to romance the blue-haired tattoo artist from the parlor across the street

A personal favorite! The writing in this fic is just so nice to read, and though I’m not usually a fan of tattoo artist AUs, this one really managed to make the whole concept make sense within the story. I can’t count how many times I’ve read this fic. Please read this.

12 O’Clock at Your Local King Soopers by InsomniacArrest (T, F/F)

Lapis works late night shifts, Peridot is somebody's overworked assistant, they both need more sleep and better people skills: the grocery store story.

Is it a Lapidot fic rec list if I don’t include 12KS? Probably the most iconic fic for this pairing, with good reason. Also, consider this a recommendation for literally everything IA has ever written--there are too many good fics to name them all individually, otherwise they’d comprise half of this entire list.

Of Meteors and Minimal Speech by Waypaststrange (moonbeatblues)(F/F)

In which things at the barn settle down, nobody speaks much, and strange lights appear in the sky.

Vaguely fluffy oneshot, very cute!!

Awkward Office Encounters by SilverEyedRukia (T, F/F)

Due to a broken down air conditioner on a scorching hot day the computers' overheated systems need fixing. Luckily for everyone a blonde technician is up for the job, but unbeknowst to them the IT nerd turns out to be someone they didn't expect her to be, especially not Lapis who kind of asked her out on a date already.

Human workplace AU, starts off relatively comedic but gets into Emotional Territory towards the end.

Camp Pining Hearts by kamanzi (M, F/F)

Peridot and Jasper return to summer camp after their freshmen year of college--this time, as counselors. Peridot is disappointed to learn that nothing is quite the same, especially her relationship with her best friend. Whose fault is this? She blames Jasper's girlfriend.

“‘Let’s go back next year and be counselors,’ she said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ she said.”

Human summer camp counselors AU that’s definitely long enough to use up some stuck-at-home-self-isolating time.

A Week by teamchaosprez (E, F/F)

Who knew that a single night of drunken sex could push Peridot and Lapis from being roommates with a mutual crush to regularly fucking and maybe - just maybe - eventually becoming girlfriends and standing up to the homophobia surrounding both of their family lives.

A human college AU focusing a lot on working through interpersonal relationships and coming to terms with emotions

Set Me Free by cym70 (T, F/F)

Being roommates gives Lapis and Peridot a lot of time to get to know each other and, despite their rocky history, they might just be able to make something entirely new.

A friends-to-lovers fic, post-Barn Mates. Very sweet!

Waltz of the Nian by QuickYoke (T, F/F)

Lapis doesn't understand fusion at heart, but she does know she's an unideal partner for it.

Lapis' relationship with fusion, and also Peridot. A fic that basically encapsulates the ideal of profound prose that makes you feel things, even if you don’t precisely know how or why.

Pushing by Like Hearts by mautadite (T, F/F)

“Sounds like you’re really counting on that road trip magic.”

(Peridot and Lapis do Midway City, and Empire City, and Plateau Ville, and all the places in between.)

Canonverse road trip, because every rec list needs a “the characters go on a long journey together and find themselves, and each other” fic. And because this fic made me feel so many emotions.

A thousand years (F/F)

I have died a thousand years, waiting for you.

Childhood friends-to-adult-lovers human AU, one of the fic tropes that always just punches me in the face with feelings.

#fic rec list #su fic recs #lapidot fic recs

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celacestial · 4 years

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Scandinavian HDWGH Tour-29th-31st October 2018

I said I wasn’t gonna spam tour posts, and so I didn’t (you may disagree but hey, I could have done 12 😂). But I can’t not talk about Scandinavia. The shows in Norway, Denmark and Sweden were some of the best few days of my life. I got to do so much sightseeing in even just the short time period there (I love all 3 countries so much!) and if you were following my Twitter back then, I posted even more than he did so HA take that Seán! 😝

Some of my FAVOURITE venues were on this bit of the leg too, especially Copenhagen in the bottom 2 pictures. I can’t explain, it was like an orchestral Hall, he was literally like, right in the middle and we were all around him, it was so atmospheric and so surreal! Norway was very grand and pretty similar to some of the old theatres in London if I say so myself, which is very much my aesthetic 💚

Bringing it back to the day though for a second, and to Halloween. The Antiseptic lights, as described by Seán as “ooooo we’ve got some sweet sexy red lights tonight” (not quite what we were going for but 😂) was a fantastic idea by @officialsepticlights 💚 Sadly I don’t have any pictures, Apart from a brief view of the spare one I gave him here when I handed in my “art” but it really was awesome and very much added to the occasion! I still have some of them actually even now 😂

But those shows were also some of the most nerve wracking too, and probably the most far out of my comfort zone that I have gone in my entire life. Travelling with Holly was bad enough, and nerve wracking enough. But at least I’d been to France, Germany and the Netherlands before, and speak fairly fluent French, enough German to be able to read tickets and signs, and know enough German to get by with Dutch signs 😂 In Scandinavia I was completely alone, knowing nobody, knowing none of the languages, and it was even more dangerous because the weather was even colder (like -4 degrees Celsius and snow) and I had nowhere to stay 😅 Hence this very wooly set of pyjamas which I would put on over the top of all of my other layers after the show and basically never took off, in fact I am actually wearing as I type this. I still call them my “HDWGH tour pyjamas” and made the joke last year that I accidentally met Seán “in my pyjamas” the morning after the final show 😂

I also met some of the most amazing friends I’ve made in the community on this leg...if only I’d known it at the time. Travelling alone, I was faaaaar too shy to talk to any of them enough, and I highly regret that now. To @maja5111, (1) @ianasha (2) @unadventurousjulie (2) @juliakaizer, @lazer-exe @septicpilots96 @sealite-draws @issrasepticeye (all 3) and the @/s of everyone who has escaped my brain in the emotion, thank you for welcoming me so kindly into your countries and not hating me like I fully expected you would 😂 Thank you for taking me shopping in some of your cases, or in the case of the entirety of the Stockholm group, taking it in turns to check socials during the night to make sure I was okay?! (Seriously, I cried so much when I found out that you did that!) I am so glad that I have become very close friends with a lot of you since then, and have met up with some of you once or even several times since. To the rest of you, *I need to say hi again okay thank you please come to England I need a hug*

Lastly, as I always say it, thank you to this man and to the entire tour team. For keeping me in check and constantly telling me to go to bed and stop waiting around 😂 For “small” acts of kindness like letting me charge my phone before and after the shows and for advice when I was lost/missed transport (more on that in the final long post next week heh), for checking up on me, and generally just being so helpful and so so kind, even more so than when I wasn’t alone. Seán, I have no idea if you told the crew to keep an extra close eye while I was alone because you of course couldn’t, or if the wonderful souls did it of their own volition, or a bit of both (I’d take a guess at all 3 to be honest, given how kind you ALL were 😅) but it meant the world and was probably the reason that I didn’t go home. I may get hate for saying this 🤷‍♀️ but I am going call you and the team my temporary family for that week, but only for this reason: how well you looked after me while I was alone meant a lot meant a lot to my dad/my real family too 😂 And if you see this, dude, to you personally, thank you for not getting sick of me (especially when I bumped into you on 1st November too 😬) and for saying hi every single time (including going out of your way to give me an out of the car high five/shoulder tap hug in Norway when you realised I was there too 😅) and for wishing me a safe journey after every show. Thank you for not judging me for carrying on alone (at least not outwardly 😅) and, since I have never publicly said it before, I am also so sorry for any worry caused during a very stressful time for you and the team ☹️💚

Thank you Scandinavia. You were scary, you were fun, you are beautiful, and it was awesome 💚

#jacksepticeye #hdwgh tour spoilers #hdwgh tour #friends 💚#long post #photos #text post #stacey rambles

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yaohoerozu · 5 years

Note

alright, I'll request something! Headcanons for Jiro, Momo, and Mt. Lady whose S/O takes them out on a date to the movies?

AAAA my best girls omg, you have great taste dude 😔✋ I hope these aren’t too short, and I tried making them gender neutral since it wasn’t specified! Enjoy!

———————————————————————

•bold of you to assume she wouldn’t be the one to take YOU to the movies

•she would just GLOW the second you tell her you got tickets for her favorite movie, and pull you into a thankful hug

•‘Oh y/n! You didn’t have to! Gosh, I really am lucky to have such a perfect companion..’

•she literally daydreams about how much she loves you LOL

•casually brings 10,000 yen to spend on snacks there

•hey, you got the tickets, now there’s no going back in her spoiling the absolute shit out of you

•she’ll buy you your favorite food the second you step into the movie theatre and give you that cute lil smile of hers

•being the perfect bean she is, Momo’s definitely gonna wanna go in while the previews are still rolling, but only bc she doesn’t want to miss a second spent alone with you 🥺💕

•you both have a seat towards the front rows, but since there’s not too many people at the back, you decide to head on there anyways, despite Momo scolding you saying others might arrive afterwards

•well, she might be reluctant about taking another seat, but she definitely isn’t complaining now that you two are more in private

•once the movie starts, she’ll just be glued to the screen, super captivated by the story

•since her family is hella rich and she had to be raised in a very strict manner, Momo never really had the time to watch movies or TV, so she always gets super excited whenever she has the opportunity

•will definitely talk throughout it

•‘That was unexpected!’ ‘Y/n did you see that? I wonder how they filmed such a scene..’ ‘The actress is so beautiful! Don’t you think-‘

•‘Momo honey I love you, but please for the love of God shut up..’

•hold her hand and she’ll literally MELT

•good job, you have now shifted her entire attention span back to you

•she’s the type of person that cries when a movie ends, even if it’s a funny or happy ending

•‘T-That was so moving!’ ‘Momo.. The guy got a pie thrown in his face..’

•she’ll thank you like 3000 times once you two are out

•gives you a warm, affectionate kiss in return for your sweet actions, followed by of course...

•‘You got me a diamond necklace?!?!’

•‘Well, I had to return the favour!’

•gets super flustered knowing you bought her tickets

•she feels guilty that you’re always so sweet to her and feels like she never gets to return the favour, so at first she’s reluctant

•tries to convince you it’d be better if you went with a close friend of yours

‘•You’ll enjoy it more with them, Y/n, I really don’t deserve all this from you..’

•but knowing her, you’re determined to convince her to come along

•she finally agrees with her cheeks still dusted pink, mumbling a quiet thank you along with a timid smile your way

•you proudly make your way out of the dorms with a tight hold on her hand, and you announce loudly to the rest of your classmates that you’re taking Jiro out on a date

•‘Woo Jiro get some!!’ Kaminari yells as you make your way out of the door

•Jiro.exe has stopped working

•when you two arrive at the movies, she relaxes a bit more

•she was more nervous to be seen going out by her classmates than anything else, so once you’re both in each other’s company, she isn’t as tense

•gets you a bag of popcorn and your favorite slushy flavour, and hands them to you with a flustered look on her face

•‘Awe Kyouka! You got my favorite!’ You grin at her, and she just chuckles, rubbing the back of her head

•‘A-Ah really..? I didn’t notice..’ Yeah RIGHT

•you both go in exactly as the movie starts, and settle in towards the middle rows

•unfortunately, there’s a few people seated next to you guys, so it isn’t that private

•you cuddle up next to her to make more space for yourself, and she freezes up, her blush spreading all the way up to her ears

•guitar gf just loves you so much okay? She needs your affection

•you insist you and her stay a little afterwards once the credits start rolling in, and start jamming to the song that plays after everyone is gone

•she laughs and joins you, mimicking the guitar playing in the background as you shout the lyrics at the top of your lungs

‘Everyone welcome the talented.. beautiful... incredible but annoying as shit.. Y/n!!’

•you cackle mischievously and tackle her into a loving kiss, and she returns it with a deep sigh against your lips

•‘I love you, Kyouka..’

•‘I love you too babe.. Thanks for today.’

•she’s super duper excited when you tell her

•the press follows her everywhere, and she loves to see the titles people come up with on the front pages of magazines whenever you two go out

•Mt Lady And Y/N spotted kissing in a parking lot- Edited or Real?

•Mt Lady And Y/N’s alleged love life

•Mt Lady And the lucky Y/N

•It makes her so giddy, she just loves the attention your relationship gets

•of course she isn’t with you just because of that

•she adores you and well, she just loves to show you off, basically

•you’re like her little treasure, after all

•she takes actual hours to get ready and pamper herself up despite you shouting for her to hurry the hell up, so you both arrive a little late for the movie

•literally has to activate her quirk to get past a crowd of fans, and almost squishes a few people as she does so

•‘Yu, I’m pretty sure they can see up your skirt!!’

•‘Let them see I don’t care, we’re late for our movie!!

•you two arrive in a panting mess, and enter the theatre about 10 minutes after the movie starts

•you’re a little pouty at first because the beginning was one of the funniest part of the comedy you picked, so Yu gets up halfway through, and comes back with a HUGE bag of popcorn for you

•instant regret of making her feel bad

•you two hold hands and laugh throughout the entire movie, even when others are dead silent at some of the corny jokes

•you have to stop her because she deadass starts making out with you at some point, and some old lady starts whisper shouting at you two to get a room

•cue Yu asking her who the hell she thinks she’s talking to

•you have to pull her down so she doesn’t anger a bunch of other people, and she calms down the second you do so

•she walks you home once the movie is over, and drapes her jacket over your shoulders seeing that it’s getting late

•you arrive at your doorstep, and she pulls you down for a romantic kiss, followed by a signature wink and smirk

•‘I’ll see you later then, baby~’

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squishymochisoo · 5 years

Text

flame & water || hero!yang jeongin

genre : college au, superhero!jeongin, superhero!y/n, mafia!hyunjin, fluff, angst, a little one sided love

pairing : yang jeongin x reader, hwang hyunjin x reader

words : 4.5 k

sypnosis : you and jeongin. water and fire. fire and water. parallel opposites but was made for each other just like a puzzle. the both of you were close, sometimes too close to be just friends. but when hwang hyunjin steps in. everything changes. a change that jeongin definitely did not like.

~ ~ ~

you sighed as you stared at your notes before taking a glance at the lecturer who suddenly started talking about rise in taxes. you rolled your eyes dreading the next hour or so and hoping for class to end early.

your phone vibrated in your front pocket.

you raised your eyebrows instinctively.

‘who would want to message me?’

you bit a smile from forming on your face when you saw the name that came on your screen.

you looked up from your phone and looked around the lecture theatre. your eyes fell on someone who was staring right back at you. you giggled silently and playfully rolled your eyes.

‘wanna ditch and go get some ice cream?’ his text read.

you weighed your choices, stay here and listen to a lecture that is unrelated to what you’re learning or hang out with jeongin. you silently laughed at the fact that you actually thought that you’d need to think about the pros and cons. you’d hang out with jeongin in an instant. you looked up and noticed that jeongin was still looking your way. you nodded slightly and gave him a knowing smile. the both of you packed up your bags and left the room quietly. it was surprising that the lecturer did not see the two of you sneaking out.

“c’mon ice cream buddy let’s go!” jeongin shouted and grabbed your hand pulling you along.

not many people knew the two of you were close. to others you were just a friend or an acquaintance of his.

it was a surprise to most when you started being on talking terms to jeongin and his friends.

you had your own friends and so did jeongin, it was definitely interesting how your two different lives crashed.

“so why the sudden invite” you asked as you licked your vanilla ice cream. jeongin was skipping in his step clearly happy about something.

“you look like you were going to fall into a coma listening to the lecture” jeongin laughed his smile literally giving out sunshine.

“i was not!” you playfully slapped his back.

“you so were! i could hear your snores all the way from the first row!” jeongin accused you. you gasped.

“how dare you!”

the both you continued to bicker, not realizing the two shadows that were standing behind the two of you.

“hmm would you look at this, we have a couple on a date. shouldn’t they be having class?” a familiar voice uttered behind you. your eyes widened. you could see a flash of panic on jeongin’s face.

“they can’t even face us, scared?” another voice laughed. you and jeongin stood still for a millisecond before turning at the same time.

“please don’t tell woojin!” the both of you begged, both your hands clasped as if praying.

“why should we listen to you?” the brown-haired boy asked snottily.

“please jisung! please” jeongin begged.

“hmm not good enough” felix smirked.

“i’ll buy you both ice cream!” you said desperately giving the two boys a pout.

“okie!” the two boys agreed a soft smile appearing on their faces before putting an arm around you and jeongin each, pulling you towards the ice cream shop.

“what do you want?” you muttered unhappy and you had to pay for the two. you left the three and went to the counter to pay, unbeknownst to you the three were talking about you.

“so, an ice cream date with y/n and skipping class? what a romantic” jisung gushed sarcastically.

“shut the fuck up, it’s not a date” jeongin pretended to step on jisung’s shoe.

“we both know you like y/n, so shut up and admit it” felix laughed.

“i do not- hey why aren’t you both in class?” jeongin came to a realization.

“class? what’s that?” jisung shrugged.

“i’m telling woojin!” jeongin exclaimed excited to bust the two older.

“how about i interest you in some ice cream” felix mentioned pointing to the menu of the shop.

“not interested, we want dinner” you interrupted with the two ice cream cones in hand.

“dinner with you? anytime.” jisung winked. you faked a gag.

“no with jeongin.” you added.

“is this how you ask out someone for a date?” felix joked. your cheeks blushed deep red as you realized what you said. jeongin’s cheeks also heating up

“no! not like that-“

you were cut off with shouts that was from a far. your eyes widened and glanced at the boys before seeing them nod at you.

okay so maybe you weren’t that average college student.

your friendship with the boys was definitely not a normal one.

it was two different worlds crashing to form a bigger universe.

“are fucking kidding me, they’re back again?” jisung huffed as he stared at the group of thugs threatening the shop owner.

“didn’t we tell you to back off last week?” felix sounded off, making the heads of the group of men turn to him.

“oh? it’s the bunch of robin hoods again” the men said in a sarcastic tone.

“hey remind me again what’s the difference between us and robin?” jeongin asked you loudly. you cocked your head playing along.

“hmm you’re more handsome than him?”

“are you really flirting right now?” jisung scoffed

“what are you all bickering about? we’re clearly in the middle of something!” felix exasperated.

“i missed the cue to say this but the difference is that we have powers” you explained.

“y/n! stop explaining what you meant it makes you look less cooler!” jisung shouted.

“why’d you say my name!” you shouted back. you heard jeongin sigh.

through the corner of your eyes you saw the group of men running your way to attack.

“you don’t see me exposing you!” you exclaimed while snapping your fingers and the floor that the men were running on became ice.

“guys are you really going to fight right now?” felix breathed out.

“jeongin there’s a man behind you” jisung mentioned not taking his eyes of you. your mouth gaped open.

“you just said his name!” your cried out. jeongin kicked the man behind him and threw a punch at the other. felix gasped for air as he punched the last thug.

“well look at that! i didn’t get to have any fun” you rolled your eyes blaming jisung.

“what this is clearly your fault!”

it was not a normal friendship

you spent your free time with the boys kicking butt – doesn’t seem as cool as you think; imagine spending everyday with jisung.

you had the power of water. jisung has the power of time. jeongin had the power of fire – the opposite of yours. felix was felix – he doesn’t have a power but he kicks ass better than any of you. seungmin had the power of air, woojin; the power of speed .

you guys met when they registered at your father’s taekwondo place.

fast forward a few years and there you were friends with the boys.

“what were you guys doing out in the city during school hours!” woojin shouted the four of your stepped into the apartment. you didn’t live here but you were here so often it was like your own house. the four of you stopped short; wanting to run back out through the door.

your instant response was to push jisung in front of the three of you; he needed to take the blame.

“jisung explain yourself!” woojin shouted, clearly not happy.

“well jeongin and y/n were on a date!” jisung accused pointing to the two of you. your eyes widened. woojin slowly turned to the both of you, surprised.

“no – we weren’t!” you started. before you could continue, woojin interrupted you.

“who said you could go around playing superhero without letting me know?”

basically the four of you were fucked.

not to forget seungmin was laughing at your expense due to not inviting him. ‘

~ ~ ~

“i have to get to class” you pouted, dreading school. seungmin laughed at you. you gave him a stink eye as you sipped on your coffee. all of you except woojin sat in the coffee shop; not too far away from campus.

“why don’t you all have class” you whined.

“maybe because we aren’t over-achievers who take up too many modules” felix scoffed. you gasped.

“i genuinely feel attacked” you placed your hand on your heart. from afar you felt a stare on you.

you glanced up looking around to find hyunjin’s eyes from across the coffee shop staring right at you.

“so mr handsome seems to be finding you attractive” jisung added, his line of vision also finding hyunjin’s heavy stare.

“he’s not – anyways i have to get to class. bye losers” you dramatically sighed, picking up your bag and laptop.

“y/n wait! i can walk you to-“ jeongin started only to be interrupted by hyunjin tapping on your shoulder.

“y/n! i have the next class with you, mind me walking you to class?” hyunjin offered with a sweet smile that you simply could not resist. you blushed deeply and nodded, feeling a little shy.

as you left the coffee shop with hyunjin, laughing and talking about class. jisung turned to jeongin raising his eyebrows, seungmin and felix following suit.

“what?” jeongin asked annoyed at what his hyungs are doing.

“bro, y/n, the love of your life, just walked out the door with another man” felix added.

“- a handsome man” jisung pointed out.

“yes a handsome man” felix sighed.

“y/n isn’t the love of my life, i don’t even like them!” jeongin exclaimed. seungmin gave a tight smile and raised his eyebrows.

“don’t come crying to me if they end up dating” jisung mentioned, sipping on his coffee.

“i do not cry!” jeongin exclaimed feeling somehow offended.

~ ~ ~

“look at them” you heard seungmin whispered from behind you. you smiled softly lost in your own thoughts. not only did hyunjin sat beside you during class, he even walked you back to the apartment.

you sighed.

“somebody stop this! love-stricken y/n is disgusting!” jisung whined. you were in your own mind that you didn’t see jeongin roll his eyes. felix smacked your shoulder.

“snap out of it!” he playfully yelled.

“we left you alone for two hours and you fall for him?” jisung laughed.

“i don’t like him!” you replied defensively. felix gave you a look.

“shut up felix” you muttered.

“i didn’t even say anything! i was just thinking!” felix exclaimed feeling accused.

“well that’s a first.” seungmin scoffed. you high-fived seungmin.

~ ~ ~

“jeongin, you okay there buddy?” you asked. he’s been distracted and out of it for the past week ever since that day with hyunjin.

“ah- yea i’m fine” jeongin mumbled blinking away his thoughts.

“are you sure? you know you can tell me anything right”

“yea, i’m fine. how about you though. how’s you and hyunjin?” jeongin gave a small smile to reassure you he’s fine.

“oh nothing special, he we went out together yesterday. nothing really.” you pouted.

“do you want something to happen?” jeongin asked curiously. he didn’t want to hear the answer to his question but he had to know.

“i don’t know but i think i do”

jeongin’s heart shouldn’t have clenched the way it did, but seeing a small smile appear on your face as your thoughts went to hyunjin made him want to cry out. jeongin wanted to cry out and tell you that he liked you – no scratch that – he wanted to tell you that he loved you.

but he knew he couldn’t

he shouldn’t

~ ~ ~

“y/n i really like you and it would be the bestest thing that has happened to me so far if you were mine” hyunjin gave you a flower. it was sweet really. jeongin watched from a far as he felt a drop of tear drip down his face.

sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be

he turned around to walk away – not before catching a sad smile forming on seungmin’s face. a smile that was supposed to comfort him in some way. but jeongin only somehow felt more broken and lost.

~ ~ ~

“hyunjin” chan’s voice started. hyunjin bit his lip, he knew what chan was going to say. he looked up from his phone to look at chan – staring him down with a look.

“you know you can’t date y/n” chan stated. hyunjin nodded slowly.

“then why are you?” hyunjin paused thinking of what to say.

“let the kid be, he clearly likes them” a voice interrupted. hyunjin glanced at changbin and minho.

“oh, you like them? then what’s y/n going to say when you tell her you’re in the mafia” chan’s voice bellowed. hyunjin frowned. he knew chan only wanted what was the best for them.

“hyung please, i think i really like y/n”

hyunjin finally spoke up. chan sighed.

“what are you going to do if y/n finds out?” he asked softly, knowing that he couldn’t change hyunjin’s mind once he’s made a decision.

“well if y/n finds out, hopefully they love me enough to stay”

~ ~ ~

“you did what?!” you laughed loudly as hyunjin told you a story. you two were at the coffee shop after a long lecture.

“nobody woke me up! when i woke up the whole lecture room was empty” hyunjin cackled thinking back. you smiled – trying to stop yourself from laughing but you couldn’t hold it in. hyunjin stared at you for a while before letting out a small smile to form on his face.

“you know you’re really pretty?”

hyunjin whispered – but loud enough for you to catch. you felt a sudden heat erupt on your cheeks. you didn’t know what to say. you wrecked your brain on what to reply and settled on sticking your tongue out a him.

hyunjin laughed.

he was definitely falling hard for you

the comfortable silence was interrupted by hyunjin’s phone. hyunjin glanced at the message and let out a sigh.

“i have to go y/n” hyunjin pouted.

“no worries, i promised the boys i’d hang out with them anyways”

“i’ll walk you home tomorrow, i swear!” hyunjin shouted as he ran out the door.

~ ~ ~

“so you hung out with lover boy huh” jisung poked your side as you entered the kitchen where the boys all sat in. you gave him an annoyed stare – but he still persisted on poking you.

“jisung stop it” woojin smacked the back of jisung’s head – which made jisung let out a whine.

“how was the date y/n?” woojin asked as he slid you a plate of fried rice.

“good – although he had to rush of to somewhere” you placed a spoonful of rice in your mouth.

“woojin hyung – can i play with the ps4 tonight?” felix pleaded as he entered the kitchen and taking a seat next to you.

“we have a mission tonight” woojin sighed. you raised your eyebrows.

“there’s a drug deal going on later in the evening – if i’m not wrong stray kids is involved” seungmin chipped in. you nodded with eye widening. they were a big cooperation – powerful and wealthy.

~ ~ ~

“i swear to god, y/n and jisung please stop fighting and arguing” woojin begged through the earpiece all of you had. you stifled a laugh.

“how is it that they’re not even of close proximity of each other but still manage to get on each other’s nerve?” seungmin voiced echoed through the earpiece.

the whole team was split up. seungmin was with felix and woojin was with jisung. you of course had to be with your partner in crime – jeongin.

“i see movement” felix uttered.

you squinted your eyes.

“don’t you think that that’s too little men to bring on a big deal?” you questioned. you had been to stray kid’s deals to observe and never had they just brought three men in total.

you question who however drowned and forgotten when woojin gave the signal to ambush. you and jeongin covered the back entrance – blocking the dealers from escaping.

you heard the dealers muttering something.

you and jeongin approached the three guys – defending yourself as one of them tried to punch your side. you stepped to side and kicked him from the back, finally hitting his head – knocking him out.

your eyes widened as you heard a cry of help through the earpiece.

there were more men than we thought. you glanced at jeongin who was fighting with the last man. you saw jeongin look at you for a second, nodding to you. you ran towards felix who cried out for help.

jeongin gave the dealer a blast of fire, only for it to vanish. jeongin stared, confused.

“fire huh?” the man said. as a blast of air made jeongin flew of his feet into the wall behind him. jeongin’s eyes widened, not only was the man an elemental of air. but the knew that voice. he recognized that voice.

jeongin squinted at the man. he wanted to rip off the man’s mask of his face. heck jeongin wanted to rip his own mask to hoping that maybe it will help him see the man just a little clearer.

“get out, there’s too many” woojin’s voice echoed through. jeongin glanced at the man before taking off.

he has definitely heard that voice before, but who?

~ ~ ~

“i’m telling you ji, i know that voice” jeongin emphasized. jeongin dragged jisung to one side the moment the team met.

“are you sure? maybe he just sounds like someone you know” jisung questioned not so sure at what jeongin was trying to tell him.

“i don’t know but he just sounds so familiar”

~ ~ ~

hyunjin stared into thin air. the deal didn’t go very well but they still managed to continue.

“hyunjin, stop frowning, you’re gonna get wrinkles.” minho mentioned.

“didn’t the flame boy sound very familiar?” hyunjin asked turning his whole body to face minho who was preparing coffee for himself.

“not that i know of, why? do you know him?”

hyunjin pursed his lips taking a short pause to think.

“i’m not sure, i just feel like i’ve heard his voice before.” minho sat beside hyunjin with his cup of coffee.

“well whatever – we should be glad we managed to make the deal without too many injuries.” minho smiled taking a sip of his coffee.

“ah! hot hot! air boy cool it down for me” begged hyunjin with his eyes pointing to his cup. hyunjin rolled his eyes while walking away.

“hyunjin wait!” minho chased after hyunjin.

~ ~ ~

“we can’t let jeongin see this” felix harshly whispered to jisung and seungmin.

“well duh! but what if they approach us?” jisung pointed out.

“then woojin would murder us for bringing jeongin here!” seungmin added in. the three looked up and stared at jeongin who was buying the snacks for the movie.

“what if we just fake sick and we just go home, then he can’t see them!” jisung brightened up as he proposed the idea.

“are you stupid? all three of us being sick conveniently at the same time?” seungmin whispered, clearly outraged at jisung’s foolish idea.

“well what if we –“ felix was cut off by jeongin’s voice”

“what are you three whispering about” jeongin raised his eyebrows staring at his three hyungs who were acting weird.

“aha – nothing nothing” jisung faked a laugh causing jeongin to furrow his eyebrows more.

“guys? what are you doing here?” your voice was heard through the noisy mall. jeongin turned swiftly looking at you, before his eyes fell on the person next to you. the boy holding your hand; hyunjin.

“oh are you here to watch a movie too?” hyunjin asked glancing at the three big cups of popcorn the boys were holding onto. the boys went quiet for a second not sure what to say.

“oh no no no no no – you know how jisung has a popcorn obsession…” seungmin babbled saying anything that could come to his mind.

“yeah! he’s been craving more popcorn then ever before” felix continued. jisung’s eyes widened a little before furiously nodding, agreeing to what the two boys were saying.

“well, i really want to eat this popcorn now – so we better get going, bye!” jisung turned around to pull jeongin in tow, speed walking.

~ ~

“really guys? popcorn obsession?” jisung exclaimed. felix pouted.

“well it was kind of believable if you ask me” seungmin smirked. jisung stuck his tongue out at seungmin.

“hey jeongin you okay?” felix asked as he realized how quiet the youngest was being.

“yeah i’m fine. why wouldn’t i be fine?” jeongin choked out.

“well maybe because you just saw the love of your life with ano-“ jisung stopped short as he felt seungmin’s and felix’s cold hard stare on him.

“you’re right i should be upset. but why is it that all i can think about it how hyunjin’s voice reminded me of that guy from stray kids?”

“jeongin…” seungmin started.

“no believe me! he really sounds the same.”

“are you sure? are you sure you’re not just saying this because you’re angry at him right now?” seungmin asked kneeling down so that his face was nearer to jeongin’s. jeongin nodded furiously while biting his lip.

“maybe you should lie down for a little while”

~ ~ ~

“can you believe it?” hyunjin started as he hugged you from the back, his voice muffled as he pressed his face into your neck.

“believe what?” you giggled.

“it’s been almost three months since we got together” you smiled as you felt his slow breaths on your neck.

“well i can’t wait to spend more time with you” you turned to leave a peck on his lips. hyunjin grinned.

“i feel bad that i can’t make it on our third month date” hyunjin pouted. you laughed.

“it’s okay i can’t make it too” your mind thinking back to when woojin reminded you that there big deal happening that night.

“i’ll make it up to you, i promise” hyunjin pecked your lips before hugging you. with his hands around you, you felt safe. you felt like this was home.

~ ~ ~

“we know the plan right?” woojin questioned everyone. the boys nodded.

“we can’t afford to back down today, the two gangs involved are big and dangerous. stray kids might have spared us the previously by letting us run off but svt might not you understand me?” woojin nagged making sure everyone was listening.

all of knew how important tonight was. woojin has been reminding the four of you for the whole week how dangerous the mission was going to be.

“ugh i can’t believe that i’m spending my third month anniversary with y’all” you cackled.

“what did you even tell hyunjin?” woojin looked at you.

“i didn’t. he was busy too” seungmin raised his eyebrows.

“i wonder what his doing” jeongin whispered sarcastically. jisung’s eyes widened as he heard what jeongin said.

~ ~ ~

“oh shit!” minho shouted as he saw woojin from the corner of his eyes.

“bin – fuck! those stupid heroes are here!” minho called out to changbin.

“what! svt is already here! we can’t risk them starting a fight. what if our man get hurt?” chan sounded off.

“where is that guy?” minho gasped as he turned around trying to find where woojin went off to.

“ehem” woojin coughed from behind minho and landed a punch into minho’s face.

“fuck” chan mumbled seeing woojin punch minho.

“changbin tell our men to do whatever it takes to stop these heroes” chan demanded.

a ball of flame passed by changbin as he talked to chan.

“hyung! make sure you cover felix!” jeongin shouted making sure that at least someone was around felix at all times. sure felix was strong and packs a strong punch but felix didn’t have a power. and jeongin knew that they all felt this strong responsibility to protect felix at all cause.

“jeongin! i can take care of this! y/n’s struggling!” jisung yelled as he fought of some of the stray kids men trying to stop changbin from running away.

jeongin nodded before running off to find y/n

~ ~ ~

“fuck” you whimpered as you felt a kick to your back. you fell on your knees only to see two men appear. a voice from behind them echoed.

“why are you here?” he demanded.

that voice

it sounded almost like –

“y/n! fuck!” jeongin stopped short as he realized the three men and you on the ground. the two men ran towards jeongin, trying to catch jeongin off guard.

“y/n?”

hyunjin’s voice voiced almost a whimper.

“hyunjin?”

your voice cracked – hoping that it wasn’t hyunjin. but as you looked up from the ground you saw the pained look on hyunjin’s face. you gulped as hyunjin’s soft hands gripped the sides of your mask before pulling it off.

hyunjin took a step back as he saw your eyes.

the very eyes he fell in love with

a ball of fire landed next to hyunjin.

“y/n!” jeongin’s whimpers from the other side of the room. you could hear the pain in his voice.

you blasted water on the flame. you wanted answers and you wanted answers now.

“what are you doing here? what --? how? this is the important thing you had to do?” you harshly asked.

“babe – i – i’m sorry. i’m sorry you had to find out like this.” your heart broke as you say the hyunjin’s face. you could see the regret in his eyes.

“are you a stray kids or svt” you whispered. hyunjin gulped.

“stray kids”

“fuck!” hyunjin shouted as svt started streaming in. from the corner of your eyes you saw hyunjin’s men trying to fight off svt.

“y/n you need to get out of here!” hyunjin dragged you to make you stand.

“what?”

“svt is attacking and you need to get out of here!”

“what?”

“fuck y/n i love you but fuck – please get out!”

your eyes remained on hyunjin, your body not being able to move. half your mind was still processing that hyunjin – the boy you loved was in stray kids. you couldn’t even comprehend what was happening in the background up till jeongin grabbed your arm and whisked you away from the bloody scene.

your eyes shifted; hyunjin was fighting off some men and summoning a strikes of air towards them.

~ ~ ~

“hey how you’re feeling?” felix sat beside you as you wrapped yourself under the warm blankets. you mumbled some words that felix could not understand. felix kissed your forehead, leaving the room not knowing how to comfort you.

felix shook his head towards the group of boys outside as he closed the door to the room.

“you can’t expect y/n to be fine” seungmin muttered. jeongin’s mind was anywhere but here. he just wanted to see your smile again. he didn’t want to see you cry. he wanted to hug you. and kiss you and dry your tears.

that night, jeongin quietly entered your room. you sniffled as you glanced at him. he gave you a soft smile as he sat next to you, his back against the back rest of the bed.

he searched your face and calmly grasped your hand.

“you can cry on my shoulders if you want”

~ ~ ~

why do i never beta my works? also if you want a next part let me know i’ll think about it? but i’m not too sure!

anyways finally wrote for jeongin!!! but i felt like halfway through writing this, my joy for this piece of work kind of went down the drain but i wanted to finish it because i already wrote quite a lot.. :(

thanks for reading to the end hehe

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butwhyduh · 5 years

Text

I have so many opinions on Endgame.

Spoiler

[[more]]

Seriously spoilers

(It’s long)

I liked that they destroyed the stones so they couldn’t just fight thanos to get them back. That was smart.

The fact that the dusted came back to fight was amazing. The women (and Peter p) fighting as carol had the glove made me cry happily. I literally cheered.

I literally wrote a fanfic on my fanfic .net account where Hawkeyes family dusts at a softball game and fact that his sons did while playing catch was weird. Him becoming a mass murderer was not something I expected.

I was so relieved that antmans daughter lived. Coming back by a rat accident by pushing the exact call back sequence was a push of believability even in marvel.

Natasha I cried. A lot. The second we knew who was going for the soul stone I knew. Clint has a family to get back. Natasha has the avengers. But I felt on one hand it was a bit of a redemption arch because she had only cared for herself for so long and was able to save the universe.

Thor. Sigh. Mixed feelings. I got his depression and alcoholism but the fat suit?? Why?? He can be depressed and alcoholic and still Thor. I was glad he talked to his mother though. Lack of contact with Jane was weird. Korg and meik! Where is their tv series??

Loki escaping. Well I knew that trickster couldn’t stay dead. And getting the space stone wasn’t surprising. I’m a little excited to see how he’ll fuck things up.

Bruce banner. Doctor hulk. We’ll see how injured his arm is in the future. Glad he had a more meaningful arch than hulk smash. The fact that when Clint told everyone that Nat died they special zoomed to his face was annoying. They were never a thing. Let it die. I will shit if he’s all mopey over her specifically in the next film.

Captain marvel was not as big a part as she could have been. She saves Stark in a week but then she couldn’t fight thanos for the whole universe?? What is more important than existence itself?? Her part was important but too small.

Nebula was confusing. That’s the part where space got muddy. I liked that she had 2 redemption arches in the film though. Her care for Stark was touching. And Rhodey identifying with her was really cool.

Peter p was as usual amazing when he came back. He added comedy when needed and a layer of sadness to THAT scene. A scene stealer as usual. Far from home will probably be darker than the commercial showed. Interesting to see his future now.

Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson. Steve as a councilor to honor Sam had me tearing up unexpectedly. I was so glad that Sam got the shield. He deserves to be cap if we don’t have Steve. He’s far more stable than Bucky ever will be. Steve going back and growing old sounds nice. It also sounds unrealistic. His dominant personality is his inability to quit. Unless they write him as working in the military, I just don’t see him quitting. But does that mean that Steve Let Bucky fall from the train and then into the winter soldier? Or are past events truly unable to change the future and maybe in his time he did? The fact that Bucky is now alone in the 21st century as a man out of time is sad. He has Sam But is Bucky going to have visits with old af Steve like Steve did with Peggy? And did Steve really ruin Peggy’s future because she married a different man? If this was the endgame then why did they give her a different husband??

Pepper pots and tony stark. His hyped space starvation was almost comically short. Pepper in the suit was tight. I loved their family. I wanted them to adopt me right there and I’m in my 20s. I was glad they moved on. They were the only ones. But it was bittersweet because I knew he was doomed. Happiness never lasts. He always knew that he was going to face thanos one on one. The fact that the new gauntlet was his design should have told us that he would weld it. The question I had was where was carol?? The fact that he didn’t get to say anything to the others really as he past I felt was a lost opportunity. He could have told the others to find happiness in the circumstances the way he had with pepper. But maybe that’s cheesy? His conversation with his father was nice even though Howard didn’t deserve it. His funeral made me cry so much. Harley awkwardly standing in the back. Tony’s daughter not even said because she was like 5 and didn’t get it. Very realistic.

I did love the movie despite my many complaints. I’m just a fanfic writer who has read too many fix it fics and wants the avengers living in the tower like 2012. I wanted tony to retire but I knew he wouldn’t if anything ever happened. He would never rest. Not really. Steve had to time travel and kill his power to relax. Natasha got her redemption arch she wanted.

I remember going to see Ironman in theatre 11 years ago and I cried a lot thinking about how I’ve been in this journey with them, as many of us has. I just remember vividly watch Ironman in a state of shock on how good it was. Most superhero movies at that time were okay at best and this film is a masterpiece. Robert Downey jr had his own redemption arch and now is The Godfather of a film franchise like the world has never seen. That’s the part I can’t wrap my head around is that we are witnessing something that has never been done before. A successful 22 movie franchise. It’s insane.

#marvel #avengers #avengers infinity war #avengers 4 #avengers infinity spoilers #endgame #avengers: endgame #a4 avengers endgame #endgame poster #avengers endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #a4 #a4 spoilers #avengers spoilers #review #long #sorry its so long

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podrickpaynest · 5 years

Text

@ avocadotoastinspace

this is like... this is basically rocket fuel for my rambling. i want to talk about it so often but i never do because i assume no one would care, so thank you so much for the opportunity. it's going to be long and i'm so sorry in advance, you can fully ignore me - but still thank you for giving me an excuse to write about this.

(I'm including the dates, because they set a telling pattern.)

14.06.2019 - I casually went to see that allegedly nice Elton John biopic with my friend from work. I haven't seen trailers. I didn't care much about Elton John. We had the very best seats in the entire theatre, which I thought was a nice touch. You know, not expecting ANYTHING. The rest is history. I knew I want to re-watch this at the point of Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting sequence. I remember leaving the cinema with my face hurting from smiling (I had this stupid deeply satisfied I-just-fell-in-love grin through the whole movie, probably, with some breaks for deep despair) and telling my friend jokingly: Shit, I need to see it like ten more times before they take it off. I knew NOTHING.

17.06.2019 - I already knew I'm going to re-watch Rocketman very soon, since I wanted to show the film to my best friend. That day was quite hectic at work and I was a little bit feverish, and I felt miserable, and I really didn't want to get back home to be all alone, and by God, I MISSED that movie already. After work I lied to myself a bit that I'm taking different route home just because I missed the bus and I didn't want to wait for the next one - the fact I was going past a small local cinema on my way was a complete accident, of course. I bought my ticket, waited for about an hour; I was one of the very few people attending that screening - just a small group of 20-something girls and two slightly older ladies I think? Trust me, watching Rocketman while breaking a fever?? I felt literally hugged by this film; immersed in it completely, my head hurt and my heart hurt, and it was so lovely. When I admitted at work to my colleagues next day that I've already re-watched it (since someone asked me would I recommend it), one of them went like: Aw, and you didn't tell me? i want to see it so much but my borfriend doesn't want to go with me and I don't have anyone to go with, and I answered by But that's not a problem at all, just tell me when.

20.06.2019 - Thursday after work it was. I remember that friend leaning to my ear during Saturday Night's Alright scene and whispering It is so great, as she apparently fell utterly in love in the same moment. She's seen it three times since and we're discussing it frequently.

22.06.2019 - finally took my best friend to see Rocketman. 25.06.2019 - and she wanted to see it again. 29.06.2019 - and at this point we both just needed to have Rocketman tickets booked to keep us going. 03.07.2019 - needless to say: she loved it too. 08.07.2019 - five times we went together.

Basically what I remember the most from those screenings was:

- the audience got bigger and bigger with every screening.

- people continued to laugh in inappropiate moments. Heterosexual men cursed under their noses at the sex scene sometimes.

- during one of the screenings we bought tickets separatedly and ended up sitting two seats away in the same row. We were hoping no one will fill in those seats and got pissed when we saw someone approaching, but it turned out that was two young gay dudes on a date. Felt actually fair.

- SO MANY GAY DATES

- speaking of which, I live in Poland, right? Probably not the worst but definitely not the easiet country to be an openly non-heteronormative person. Seeing those dates was so important and comforting, and mattered A LOT. The same goes for audience getting bigger in time - this movie had practically no outdoor advertising, hardly anyone heard about it, and that only could mean that people were actually recommending it back and forth. In the country where the government does nothing to protect LGBTQ+ people from bullies? Heart-fucking-warming, I'm telling you.

- but ALSO. Before one screening I noticed two quite threatening looking blokes walking in. They wore this sort of "patriotic" t-shirts and looked in general like those borderline-nazi subculture festering shits in Poland that always appear to protest any sort of pride/rally and yell about sending f*****s (and all minorities) to gas chambers and other lovely stuff like that. I got actually quite nervous because I half expected them to either start giving us trouble right away, or at least once any kind of gay stuff happens on screen. I had my eye on them through half of the movie, and you know what? THEY WERE ON A DATE. No problems from them whatsoever.

- there was always someone overjoyed upon realizing the jean jacket was an actual item of clothing Elton John once wore. Also people going audibly awww when picture of little Reggie is shown.

- a least a couple of girls gasping so audibly when they see what John Reid is doing in front of the fucking pool boys.

- at some point I took a cab to the theatre and my taxi driver played Elton John for me.

- I was freaking out all the time that this is the time when I'm overdoing it, this is the time I don't really need to watch it again and I'll just get bored. Didn't happen once.

10.07.2019 - I realized they are pulling Rocketman out of the cinemas in my city next day. I was unable to attend the very last screening, so I panic!bought a ticket while I was still at work. Now, as much as watching and discussing Rocketman with friends is fun, I think watching it alone has completely different quality to it and I might've enjoyed those two screenings I saw it alone the most. For me the heart and core of the movie is lonelines - I think seeing this movie alone at least once is highly recommendable, and in the theatre full of people at that, and not in home. For me it was incredibly powerful experience, especially knowing I'm kind of saying goodbye to it, at least in the theatre quality. Bonus: almost entire row of older ladies dancing in their seats during Crocodile Rock sequence. I cried about that a little.

30.07.2019 - soooo I went for a short vacation to Czech Republic to see my friends and attend music festival. Hardcore punk music festival, mind you. I tried not to talk about Rocketman too much because my my friends definitely are not Elton John musical type of people, I failed frequently but still I'd like to think I did a good job. After the festival, when I was hanging around Prague with one of my friends - actually the one I consider to be my bestie - he all of the sudden says that maybe we can try to see if they still play Rocketman there. It's not like I haven't checked before going there, right... I tried to protest a little, because I was fairly sure he was offering it only to be a good host, he really wasn't interested. Another thing is: listen, not to sound dramatic but Prague is my Rocketman among the cities. Love of my life. I went once, came back next year, kept going back at least once a year (but generally as often as possible), because I fell in love with it. It's a massive crush. Experiencing those two things together: Prague and Rocketman? Jesus, I can't really start to explain how overwhelmingly wholesome it felt to me. But! I'm getting ahead of myself.

We finally went, me feeling slightly guilty for forcing him in a way. It was a small theatre, very nice and with an old-school feeling: red curtains, red seats, all that. Not that many people in the audience, but it was also one of the last weeks when Rocketman was being screened in the country, so understandable.

I tried not to look to my friend's direction, because I was so scared I'll see him suffering through all the musical sequences - or asleep. THEN I've heard a little bit of snickering from his side when they opened a celebratory champagne in Dick's office. I still refused to look. And then, during Amoreena sequence, when they are going through L.A, my friend leaned in to me and whispered: I love it. Long story short, three days later he messaged me on Facebook: I've watched Rocketman three times and Please send me recommendations of Elton John's live videos and you can't convince me this movie is not a drug now. Bonus from that screening: lady who was weeping her eyes out next to me. She sobbed through entire last therapy scene and I just hope she sometimes feel I love her.

Also, I don't really read subtitles, but I checked a couple of times, and I think Czech subtitles were by far better than Polish ones (there were some ridiculous mistakes in Polish translation).

So here's that. I am truly sorry for rambling like a maniac again, but I'm forever grateful that I could pour that out and re-live it a little bit. Needless to say: I'm also very curious about your experiences and I'd love to read about them if you only have time to share.

#reply #rocketman #avocadotoastinspace #personal #long post #don't mind me

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