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#generational curses
punkpandapatrixk · 14 days
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❤️‍🩹I Just Want to be Loved ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
We attract terrible loves for various reasons; so many lessons; but now sorrow has got to lessen. Let’s reveal patterns by exhuming roots. We’ve got to stop this cycle of disappointments. Done being made to feel as if we’re hard to love.
We’re not hard to love. Many of us were simply denied love, warmth and affection as we were growing up… Don’t know how to love self; don’t know how to love others; basically don’t know how to even receive Love… Who’s to blame now?
Why the hell were so many children denied love, warmth, affection…?
What are you going to do with yourself when you were denied love, warmth and affection as you were growing up?
☆♪°・.
‘The child who isn’t embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’ – an African proverb
People denied warmth and affection tend to fall into a desperate loop of fishing for attention as a result of love-deficiency, right? Some learn to lick love off a knife; some pursue success (whatever that means) all too frantically; some…shoot complete strangers in broad daylight; and some who ain’t got the guts to murder complete strangers in public places go instead for antagonising strangers on social media… Gosh, that is desperate.
But you know what, not all hope is lost because there’s still plenty of us who are blessed with this incredibly RARE thing called self-awareness. There are plenty of us who will take our traumas to the graveyard than pass them down the next generations.
You, don’t deserve to have your sanity and your Life ruined by some psychos who didn’t know how to love you. Reclaim lost pieces of yourself by understanding THREE Houses in your natal chart, babe:
4th House: your roots; tells you what was lacking in your home; explains your erratic 10th House ambitions
8th House: your marriage or your desire for a bond like it; this the House where trauma manifests itself in full spectrum
11th House: your wish fulfilment; where you connect with people who support your visions; breeds a healthy sense of connection, even community
SONG: Emptiness by BoA
MOVIE: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Because I Can’t Even Trust Myself
VIBE: Trust by Hamasaki Ayumi
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lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Pentacles Rx
It’s clear your childhood didn’t offer a sense of stability or security—the physical kind that children usually need. It could be that a grownup left early or it could be that you moved around a lot, so you easily lost contact with new friends you’d just made. In essence, it feels like you grew up feeling ‘everything disappears eventually; everyone leaves eventually’.
Some of you might’ve grown up not having a lot of material resources, but for the majority of you tuning into this Pile, it was more a feeling of a lack of warmth. For children, the pain of neglect and a lack of emotional connection do really affect our physical health more severely. You might’ve grown up poor and sickly due to all the grownups around you being inattentive, unaffectionate, and just…unreliable at best.
Because of this awareness, from a young age you realised you would have to do everything yourself. You wanted to grow up quickly and do your own things your own ways. It’s not like you had to grow up fast, you wanted to grow up fast to have your freedom and power! It was…hard to trust adults. It was hard to trust the world at large.
growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 8 of Pentacles
On the path of growing up, I think you became a hard worker of sort? This is very nuanced though—there are layers to your developing yourself to become a hardworking person. In many ways, you grew up responsible because you didn’t want to become like the adults who had disappointed you. But since this sense of ‘responsibility’ is a product of neglect and trauma…this is coming off as your feeling responsible for everything. Everything!
Some of you could’ve been too hard on yourself, expecting way too much for your age. You’ve felt like you’re always the one with everything to prove. It’s hard living like that. It feels like you’ve put so much effort into keeping everything together, and yet, nobody sees how much you care. Nobody truly understands the fear in your mind and pain you carry in your heart.
In matters of relationship, you cling extra hard to friends or lovers, too; because deep down you’re afraid of losing things and people, again and again. This unhealthy attachment—and to some extent, controlling behaviour—is truly your wounded inner child attempting frantically to keep your Reality from falling apart…
reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Cups
I’m very sure that at some point in Life, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides are going to kick in and meddle with your Earthly business. For some people, it’s possible you could lose contact with everybody you’ve ever known in Life and go into a hermit mode to find yourself again. For some, it could be that your whole Life is simply flipped, without necessarily losing key people in your Life, for you to look at Life and human connections from a very different point of view.
It’s going to be hard, of course. Emotionally, it could be devastating. Themes of abandonment and betrayal are big in your incarnation. But you know, ultimately, all of these challenges serve to remind you that the Cup of Love and Affection you’ve been looking for has always been right inside of you. You’ve had a bitter time with a lot of people because deep down you couldn’t trust them. You couldn’t trust other people’s loyalty because you didn’t even believe that you’re worthy of that Love and Loyalty you yearn for.
Your Spirit Guides are saying, that although at some point in Life things are going to get really tough, know that when you’ve graduated those lessons, you’re going to be rewarded with the most beautiful Soulmate-shit friendships, familyship and relationship. Truth be told, part of your Soul’s scenario in this incarnation is to find your Soul Tribe; and find your Tribe you shall~
A L O N E🔻💗
ALL of you – Red Alchemist (John Dee)
becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Healing
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Misled by My Own Compassion
VIBE: Cry Me A River by Julie London
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lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Knight of Cups
It’s very likely your 4th House is in a Water sign, but if not, you’re still very much a Water-y person; perhaps your Ascendant or Moon is in a Water sign, or that you have Neptune/Moon near/in your 4th, 7th or 11th House. All of this generally makes you a deeply compassionate person. No matter what outer appearances give, you strive to look deeper into a person’s Soul. You have so much empathy and you want to believe in the good of people.
Alas! This rotten world doesn’t make it too easy. This world is not a world where kindness and compassion are truly rewarded, if we don’t learn to be a tad cruel ourselves. You’re not in the wrong for being so genuinely good and compassionate; it’s this world that’s the wrong world. You know that? Therefore, it is paramount you learn to be a bitchilante! But I’m getting ahead of myself.
In spite of this PAC’s intro, I sense the majority of you tuning into this Pile actually grew up quite well. Many of you actually grew up in loving homes and that’s why it’s been quite challenging for you to grapple with the realness of the ugliness of the world outside of your loving home. Really…people in the real world…are monsters! And you were taken aback!
But some of you instead most likely grew up in chaotic, battlefield-esque homes and that’s why you’ve striven to be so good to a point of detriment.
growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 0 The Fool Rx
Be that as it may, you being you… Well, you do put in the effort to try and understand what makes monsters the way that they are, right? It’s all good and wonderful, until you get yourself in deep trouble where nobody can save you but your own monstrosity. Depending on your age when reading this, this could be something that’s happened in the past or will happen; where you will be forced to grow up in the sense of seeing the world as it is and get firm with assholes!
Dr Jordan Peterson has this gold shit to summarise this spiritual lesson you will be taking at some point in Life: ‘You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn to control it.’ Well, that’s male speech. In female speech, we just say: ‘you gotta grow up and be a bitchilante!’
Be a bitch only to those who deserve it. How would you protect yourself from monsters if you don’t have the strength to fight them at their own game, darling? If you’re harmless, weak as a fawn, if anything, the real monsters in the world are going to toy with your sanity: ‘I saw my “crazy” side once and decided I wouldn’t be involved with anyone that would take me out of my peace like that ever again.’
Be a bitchilante. That whole concept of ‘good, harmless, love and light, positivity-only’ bullshit was put out there not to really make you good but to weaken you against the truly monstrous ones. WAKE UP, BITCH!
reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Pentacles
So? So what if you’re selective with your affection? Not everybody deserves your compassion. That’s for sure. There are many people in the world and you can’t be nice to all of them. One at point or another, you’re gonna be a villain in someone’s story—so what? Everybody else is the main character of their own Stories; that, you can’t control.
Be careful that you’re not falling victim to your own narcissism in wanting to be praised in everybody’s Story, yeah? So then, pertaining to your 11th House, weirdly enough, your wish fulfilment is in the form of a psychological liberation from your own idea of yourself in the minds of others. I sense that if you’re East Asian this is gonna resonate much harder and louder LOL
Anyway, I want to assure you that once you’ve graduated from your spiritual lessons, you will be met with unique, courageous, rebellious weirdos who will be just as clear as you are about what it truly means to be a good person in a world that’s often very bad. How good should a person be to truly be considered a good person?
‘If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.’ – Fuckology
A L O N E🔻💚
ALL of you – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)
becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Success
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Lights Out; I’m Out to Find Myself
VIBE: To. X by Taeyeon
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lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Cups Rx
I’ve to preface this Pile by saying this the pile that gets a little violent…
You were originally such a positive, happy-go-lucky kid, but quite early on, this world gave you so much darkness. So many reasons to be sad. It’s not been a very kind life, to be honest. Defo many of you have tragical placements here—your 4th or 5th House could start or end in Scorpio; have Lilith/Pluto/Chiron/Saturn there or in the sign of Cancer/Pisces; or it could be that your Venus/Moon is imprisoned in the 8th or 12th House and harshly aspected, too...
If your childhood has been violent or mightily confusing, it’s a group thing, OK? You can think like that. It’s not your fault. Know that practically everybody who has these harsh placements has gone through very similar things as you. So you’re really not the only one who’s failing—whatever that means. You’ve been gaslit a lot into believing there’s something wrong with you, but it was your environment that was just filled with totally terrible Human beings. That much I’d like to assure you.
It wasn’t natural how you were abused psychologically and emotionally. The people around you drew a parallel to Cinderella’s stepsisters in the Disney classic. It’s ridiculous like that. I think you grew up terribly lonely and created comfort characters in your head to console your sorrows? It’s very likely that your comfort characters were in actuality a mirror fragment of your Soul Family’s existence locked in your memory bank.
growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – XIV Temperance Rx
Life, unfortunately, isn’t a Disney movie. As a result of the psychological and emotional abuse you’ve endured in childhood, your friendships and relationships might’ve been quite turbulent, at times even violent. Juuust a small number of you could’ve dealt with being called a violent kid, or you could’ve struggled with anger management and have terrible tantrums. All of these have made human connections quite difficult to navigate.
It’s not like you want to be a nasty person, right? Many times, you couldn’t help the way you react/respond to what’s being said and unsaid because, somehow, there are many things that people do and say that trigger a trauma response in you. There’s a very difficult Mars thingy going on here. I think many of you resonating with this Pile have some difficult Mars (ruler of Scorpio) placements/aspects that affect the way you manifest human connections in your Life.
Speaking in terms of synastry, it could be that you’ve attracted a great deal of people whose Mars aspected badly in your natal chart—consequently triggering bad traumas and manifesting violent outbursts in your connections. Ultimately though, these negative experiences with other people could’ve enforced your belief about how unlovable you are, which, really, is a false belief…
reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 5 of Wands
It is a false Reality that you’re unlovable or unworthy of a healthy relationship. That bullshit was implanted in you through the creation of a harsh environment that caused you a great deal of rage. Of course, you’re accountable for how you behave towards other people, but your foundation was never quite healthy or peaceful or harmonious, so… How about we put it all behind us and focus on healing? After all, it’s not like the people you’ve had a beef with were completely innocent? XP
It's kinda selfish to think like that, but you can depend on your own discernment to distinguish who amongst the people you’ve hurt or had a beef with to apologise to. Remember: sometimes apologies only make you weaker and looking at the unique bullshit astrological placements you were born with… apologising to the wrong fucker would only get you gaslit even more! So, don’t. Don’t apologise for the distress you experienced under other people’s lack of support.
Burn that bridge and detach yourself from that old stinking world. With your sheer willpower, you have it in you to rebuild your own little world of love and peace. After all, those harsh placements you were born with, are you aware of just how much power they bestow you? These placements come with a lot of turbulences but once you graduate your first Saturn Return, they also give you a burst of power unlike any other!
Lights out. Not entertaining aenergies that seek to nip your power at the bud anymore. Burn, baby, burn strong! Burn the whole Tower and find yourself on new lands~!
A L O N E🔻💜
ALL of you – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)
becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Solitude
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings]
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harmoonix · 2 months
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If you have any placements in the 4th house or Cancer, specifically Lilith/Pluto/Saturn/Sun /Moon/Chiron and you find yourself being different/not fitting in, from your family members or relatives is because you're the generational breaker aka the one will remove a bad karma from your own family tree so if you feel like you're the black sheep of the family that can be the reason
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classycookiexo · 4 months
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meowsgirldrawing · 2 months
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Tough Week (Papa Mammon-Obey Me)
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Mammon being a good papa basically.
Word Count: 1,865
Mentions of other kids, slight poly of MC but can be interpreted as whatever wanted. Mentions of GN MC but gets called Mom
Other kids for reference- Here
Masterlist- Here
AO3 Link- Here
Summary:
Varya can feel her eye twitch, her knuckles ache from how hard she grips her cane. Her siblings all tease her in their own ways for having one at 26 but at this point, it’s her only lifeline with how utterly chaotic her siblings can be.
It's been a tough week..
Varya can feel her eye twitch, her knuckles ache from how hard she grips her cane. Her siblings all tease her in their own ways for having one at 26 but at this point, it’s her only lifeline with how utterly chaotic her siblings can be. 
It’s been a tough week.
First she finds out River and Ryder pulled Rhomb into some pranks, thus getting them all detention with her having to attend a basic hearing on their collective punishment. And on top of having to make one on the spot herself to appease Lucifer. “You’re the oldest, you have to keep them in line.” Thankfully Rhomb will be graduating soon, otherwise she might lose another decade on her life.
Adding to that, the next day she had to look for a missing Quinn, only to find him in one of the worst sets of town in the Lust ring, just ending a motorcycle race. It wouldn’t be so bad if she ended up walking in on him in a scuffle with one of the other bikers, them pissed they got beat by one of the Avatars’ kids. She’s usually fine with her siblings taking on their own battles, they need tough skin in Devildom anyway. But they just had to waste her time more by the biker making a lewd comment about her right in front of her dear, protective, little brother. 
Yeah, another punishment had to be made on the spot.
The day after that had her in the human realm with her calmer parent, MC and the youngest, Frankie. After some negotiations as usual about the human realm sending more exchange students to Devildom as per Lord Diavolo’s request, she was dragged to a party per Frankie’s request. She never minds parties, not really. Her father brought her to many in the Fall when she was around 18ish. 
Yet, her content mood went to downright sour as she noticed some human punk making too many moves on her younger sister. The men in her life were always respectful, save for some flirting in front of her and her siblings with their ‘mother’. So you can imagine how many seconds she was close to revealing her demon form. Thankfully Frankie wasn’t allowed to drink yet, because many drunk teens went on booing her, calling her names like ‘prude’ or ‘old woman’ as she yanked her sister out of the house and into her silver ride. 
Frankie’s apology hug did help lesson the headache that night but still.
Many similar instances occur for the rest of the week. The twins pulling more pranks. Ending up in an awkward position as Lucifer and Satan fought about a mundane thing. Lilly and Diavolo’s heir forcing her into an improve shopping trip despite wanting 5 minutes to herself. Having to make up more punishments when she could care less of what her siblings do for this once. And even when she got some time to herself, she had to deal with some low-life demons undermining her desperately at the casino. Unfortunately leading her to teach them why she’s considered the strongest, most powerful spawn of the Lords of Devildom. 
She’s had a tough week, and she needs a break.
Ignoring another phone call from Lucifer, Varya stuffs her DDD into her skirt pocket, slides her cane out of the passenger seat it was previously thrown carelessly into, and opens up her silver ride. 
It snaps shut with a harsh bang, and her heels click against the concrete as she makes her way to the building. Workers under her father wave or call greetings to her, used to her occasional visits, and she waves back, perhaps a bit more shortly than the wontoned. Her everyday smile a-tad tight more straight.
Through an elevator ride and passing several doors, she makes her way to the main office. Her father’s office. 
She hears his voice, deduces he’s either in a meeting or chatting up the phone by his tone, and knocks before sliding in and hanging on the side. Before she would hang outside, but right now, she needs to see him sooner.
Her back rests on the wall, her smile tight and as patient as she can make it.
“Yeah, well demand is comin’ soon with tha season so we need ta get goin’, Shilk.” Mammon’s nails tap on the desk, his wedding ring glinting in the forever red and purplish hues that filter in the giant glass. He looks up from his hard look into the client chair before him and nods his greeting. Varya bows her head lightly, her long, white hair falling over her shoulder.
“Ok, ok. I got it. I’ll have tha data send ta ya by the end of the week. Just make it snappy, Shilk.” His words pushy, but his tone a touch playful. He ends the call with a short bye, see ya later, before spinning towards his kid with a growing grin. 
“ Lil Treasure!” He smirks, “Long time no see, eh? Miss yer old man much?”
“Please.” Her eyes roll, playing his game as easy as pie. “I only came to check up on you, Mother wanted to come see you earlier this week but the exchange program discussions continues to keep them on Earth.” 
He hums, he misses his human too. Behind continuous operations of his ever-growing business and working behind the scenes for RAD, he’s barely had time to see them or their daughter. Speaking of…
“I heard you overtook a new territory this week!” He laughs, carefree as a demon can when talking about territory wars and power growth. It’s been a hot minute for himself to do so, but you don’t even have to look at the older demon to know he’s very damn proud his kid is just about following in his boots. Or Heels in her matter.
“Varya Morningstar- Daughter of Greed- overtakes the Newbon territory in a matter of 2 days, all with a winning smile present.” He recalls the headline he saw, whistling at the end.
 “Someone must’ve pissed you off.” Her eyes squint and join her smirk at his snicker.
“Well, I suppose when someone stares at your upper chest area a little too much while simultaneously telling you that betting your worth is the utmost impossible, it can be noted as irritating.” Her sharp canines shine. 
“That’s my girl!” He cheers, wondering closer. “Don’t let anyone tell you shit, yer my kid after all!”
Varya’s expression doesn’t fall but Mammon still notices anyway, “I hope I could always do so..yet it seems only Lucifer could continue to do so.”
A flash of understanding comes across his face as his head tilts. He doesn’t come across as pitiful, she may be his daughter but she was raised around the Avatar of Pride, but his hand comes to her shoulder, his brow sad/solemnly amused. “He’s really wailing into ya, aint he?”
“As if dealing with my siblings isn’t enough cannon fodder.” Her smile stays up as her shoulders tense, “I understand I am the eldest, but I can’t control every action they make. I haven’t a clue as to why he expects the opposite.”
“That’s Lucifer for ya, kiddo.” His thumb rubs light circles into her half-jacket. “Always wants people on their best behavior, even tried havin’ yer mom help out but they ended up just indulging in us more times than many.”
“But they are all of age now.” It’s rare to see his kid so upset, for years she always had a vacant expression on her face, and it wasn’t until she became older did she start having a smile everywhere, even when she was as pissed as an unsatisfied tyrant. It was her tool against fellow demons, what helped her use her ability as the eldest spawn of the 7 Lords of Devildom and rise to power on her own. People can’t tell how or what she plans, feels, anything. 
But Mammon knows, possibly the only one after his human that does. 
She’s had a tough week.
And now the cracks are finally making their way to the surface. Her smile is tight, no joy present. 
“Frankie may be in her mid teens, but she is old enough and smart enough to know how to handle herself!” Her voice wavers, not loud, at the end. “Why….why must I be the one to keep their un-needed leash? Why must I be turnin’ and throwin’ what I need to do for the day to the wind just to stop some silly prank the boys wanna do? They’ll learn why not to do it, right?”
She breathes, usually blue eyes flaring gold for a second. 
She turns silent then lifts to pinch her brow. “Apologies, Father, I came to take a breather but not to-”
Now he acts, now he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into his chest. “Oh shut it. Yer tired and you got a right to rant.” She tries to push back, not allowing such a ‘weak’ moment but Mammon doesn’t let her. If anything, he pulls her tighter, hand on her head, carding his fingers into her ponytail with a snicker. 
“Father-”
“Shushshushshush” His fingers emaphzie his motion, twirling strands or two, messing it from it’s pristine, soft and straight line down her back. “My baby needs a break-”
“Father!” Her cheeks flush, claws digging into his jacket. Her eyes, one closed from being squished into his chest, beat wide at the door. A tinge of fear stomachs. “The door-”
“It’s locked.” He huffs, his blue iris rolling, and he hooks his chin on her head, “Just breathe and hug yer old man, will ya? It’s awkward with yer hands all dangling like they are now.”
Theres a moment pausing the scene, her staring at the door, the more demonic side of her yelling at her to push him and off an leave! He’s useless! To go back to her newly established territory and start working again. Demons don’t cry!
Then there’s the small human part of her, tiny and hidden away, only meant for rare moments. Rare moments like this one..
She takes in a breath, sharp and cold numbing. 
Then melts. 
Her body goes from straight, rigid, awkwardly tight in Mammon’s hold to a full damn puddle, swift and flashing from one to the other like the transition between 5 year old her holding her 1st little brother for the first time of many to the 26 year old self who’s constantly being batted every which way and that, all while holding her greatest, carefully constructed weapon up high for everyone to see.
Even that falls too, especially that. Her smile drifts until the expensive jacket Mammon adorns wipes it away and welcomes her spilling tears instead.
Mammon has a smile that isn’t full of joy but still as kind, pressing a small kiss to her matching hair and planting his cheek into it. He sways them back and forth as Varya silently unravels, hands clutching his back, claws digging deep but thankfully not tearing.
Varya’s had a tough week. But at least she has her dad’s hugs to break that fall.
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texaschainsawmascara · 6 months
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Game of Thrones / The Cursed / Ptolemaea - Ethel Cain / Ad Astra / Persepolis
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crimeronan · 17 days
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oh this has me curious since a lot of people seem to be (very reasonably!) interpreting that familial curses poll as "family has a medical history." so here's a slightly more specific one, bc i wanna know how common This Experience is:
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monetsway · 8 months
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Generational Detriment
If you enable your children, you might as well abuse them. No…not literally abuse these gifts to our bloodline but this is what I mean. When we sit up here and save our loved ones from hardships, we’re tearing them away from valuable lessons they need to be successful. We are saving them from wisdom they can pass down. And well…we’re saving them from karma that they may have gained by moving in a way that doesn’t reflect their highest self.
Some people may disagree and that’s fine but the proof is in the pudding. Usually people, no matter the financial class, who enable their children are setting them up for failure. Because these same children will grow up and become adults that believe every issue in life is going to break them. That every other authority figure or rule must cave into what they desire. The same individuals who will grow to believe honest people are not good for them so they surround themselves with people who are dishonest. The truth repels them because they have been able to be saved through the lies for so long. Where there’s truth, the lie cannot survive. However, a lie thrives in comfortability. Truth is hidden in growth because without honesty, there will never be true growth internally.
Ever since I realized that successful people are people who don't give up after being told ‘no’ a thousand times, I’ve looked at the people who are always told yes. Let’s be real and realize, there’s a clear difference.
The entitlement alone that comes with somebody who always has another somebody that’s pulling them out of the holes they dug, is crazyyyy. You would think the people that have someone(s) looking out for them would be more intentional with gratitude but that couldn’t be further from the truth. But if I can be honest…it’s an attitude that can attach itself to anyone who refuses accountability.
Then soon enough, people like that will believe what they choose to believe because accountability makes them too uncomfortable in the fact that they play a role in the downfall of a situation.
Everyone makes mistakes. This is something everyone knows but only thinks about when they refuse to see the hand they played.
There’s power in reflecting and seeing where you went wrong. When you can pinpoint where YOU went wrong, you are able to avoid something crumbling before your eyes again. And there is where you will avoid doing that again so you don’t end up with dreadful results in the end.
My Granny always told me, ‘God ain’t gone ask you what the other person did. He’s going to ask YOU what you did.’.
I couldn’t agree more. Most of my anguish in life came from worrying about the way others treated me but 9/10 I gave them the handbook. But if you find yourself going down a familiar road of patterns that you aren’t happy with, it's time to look within yourself. Only you can control you; what everyone outside of you does, is completely out of your control. Nothing wrong with pointing out where you messed up at - if anything that makes you more relatable and teachable.
Being enabled does not make you teachable. In all honesty… you will never know everything. From the day you’re born to the day you pass away, you will always learn new information. What you decide to do with that information will decipher what your character is. As for me, you can learn alot about a person who thinks everyone else is the problem and I stay away from those types.
Cause ok…even if everyone else is the ‘problem’, why do you keep surrounding yourself with those types? Make it make sense.
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pattytacuri · 3 months
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family guilt
I will not bear the responsibility of other people’s welfare- I can be compassionate and kind without allowing others to step on my boundaries I can be a good person and not feel like a bad daughter or sister for refusing to give into the drama and chaos my parents and sister try to involve me in- I’m beyond accommodating or pleasing my family to the detriment of my mental health it doesn’t make me selfish it makes a woman protecting her peace
2/7/23
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nin-ei · 1 year
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Curse Breaker- dedicated to my dad ❤️ Prints available here
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swamp-milkweed · 8 months
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ellen bass, from "for my daughter on her twenty-first birthday" || sam sax, from "putting on emily dickinson's clothes" || bethany webster, from what is the mother wound? || blythe baird, from "I didn't always salivate over skeletons" || erica jong, from "witches" || lidia yuknavitch, from letter to my rage || i.b. vyache
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cooki3face · 6 months
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What lessons are you learning in love right now
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message: I’m working through my drafts just as I said I would, the time for this reading has come because I feel called to do it and so I will. Things have been tiring and I am in the process of releasing many things as I’m being guided to do during this eclipse taking place at this time. I’m mourning many losses, I’m holding onto my hope, holding onto my strength, I’m resting, I’m healing, I’m transforming. I’m taking with me not pain but lessons. I’m spinning gold out of what I’ve been given. To love is such a wonderful blessing and beautiful gift, even when loss is inevitable or when it is given to you at the very end every time. So we’re going to find out what lessons you’re learning in love today collective. Thank you for co creating this reading with me, for spending time with me, for enjoying my content, and for growing and transforming with me. You are so loved. <3
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i.
Pile one, a good amount of your lessons in love in general and not just at this current moment could be centered around your self-worth and learning it. You could’ve been burned a lot by past lovers or have had some trivial and complex relationships that issues may have lied in your ability to understand your worth, ask for more, and accept more. This hasn’t changed. Your current lessons that you’re learning in love still lie in you having an awakening regarding your self-worth. Some of you are divine beings and are meant to do incredible things and take on leadership roles in life and part of this is going to require you to step into your power and really be a big influence and a big energy in everything you do. Many of you already take on a lot of leadership roles and are mentors and highly valued individuals in your lives but there’s more for you to unlock here.
This past relationship you’ve just gotten out of could’ve flipped yet another switch in you. I’m seeing a huge panel here with a lot of red buttons and/or switches. Everytime you come out of a relationship that was meant to shake you or push you into a different energy and you overcome another button is pushed and another switch is flipped. The number 94 could be significant to you in some way shape or form as it represents progress and spiritual growth. “It encourages you to pursue your goals even if they seem difficult or impossible. Your angels will work along side you as long as you stay committed and focused on reaching success. With determination, anything is possible!” There’s a message here about you not settling for less I’m hearing or continuing to ask for more and raise your price, and add tax.
I’m hearing someone needs to detox the body here as well. You can be sick from something you ate, I feel stomach pain and discomfort in the body, you could have just finished a period if you’re a woman and may be in need of a acv detox bath, you may be feeling thirsty and dehydrated. You’re undergoing transformation and may be tired and feel as though you’re undergoing some sort of “recovery”. Butterflies and their transformation from a caterpillar into their final form could be significant. The divine feminine, the divine mother, the womb, all significant symbolism and imagery.
Someone is stepping further into their divinity with a catalyst in love they’ve just experienced recently as well. I hear spirit saying you’re very close or you’re red hot. The lesson you’re learning right now is regarding serving yourself Justice however difficult of a task it may prove to be. Spirit is putting emphasis on the idea that you’re the creator of your own reality and the way you choose to live your life, who you choose to spend time with you, to have access to your vessel, to your temple, to your heart, and to your mind all falls into your hands here. For many of you in this collective, feminine deities and strong matriarchal women in your blood line stand firmly behind you.
The lessons you’re learning in love also pertains to you overcoming a fear of change and being able to be more fluid in your life and in love here. You could have a hard time letting things go, heavily sentimental in matters of the heart or someone very emotionally passionate and driven. It makes it difficult for you to let go of heartbreak and let go of love when it’s time has passed or far gone. Spirit wants you to learn the art of release, wants you to learn the art of transformation when it’s time to undergo change. Spirit is teaching you to see accurately how much power you hold in your relationships and in your connections. An opportunity to enjoy your energy, an opportunity to sit with you, an opportunity to simply be in your presence even platonically is a divine one, is a blessed one. Spirit says “see this and hear this now.” There will be no contradictions, no arguments, and no compromising on this whatsoever. Whomever comes towards you should be prepared to move mountains and come ready or not at all.
Spirit is teaching you that with one drop of disharmony or an ounce of energy that isn’t serving you or doing right by you that there is no harm in being alone or working alone. So much of your power is heightened in your solitude they say, “so why do you color yourself afraid?” Spirit wants you to know that happiness and fulfillment are always written in the stars for you alone or in a connection with someone whom you love. Your lesson is that it is okay to walk away when you aren’t being served Justice, you will serve yourself Justice.
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ii.
The lessons you’re learning in love right now pertain to aspects of your shadow that have been keeping you stagnant for a long time now. Negative thoughts, self-imposed restrictions like behaviors and mindsets that keep you from receiving things you truly deserve, self-imprisonment, and even potentially a victim mentality where you may choose to ignore the truth when met with conflict and make yourself seem like the person in relationships whose being mistreated or burdened when in reality you’ve fallen short or have villainized your partner to make yourself feel safer. I’m hearing when criticized or when something is brought to your attention you may tend to fall into a habit of defending yourself, defending your behaviors, and even using your knowledge or ability to communicate to try and push others into thinking that they were wrong or that they’ve wronged you so you don’t have to feel vulnerable or take true accountability for your actions.
If this is true for you I do see a large amount of this behavior not being behavior that’s meant to be malicious or bring harm to others but that’s been adopted out of trauma and a desire to be seen and heard or even validated and enabled as much as possible because this may have been something you went long periods without receiving within your life whether it came from a healthy or negative place here. I’m seeing someone being yelled at regardless of their making positive decisions, someone who didn’t get positive feedback and affirmation when they did do good things in their romantic relationships, in their platonic relationships, and with their relationships from a familial standpoint especially as a child.
There are lessons in the idea of you deserving more self-care or deserving more self-respect from your self here, giving yourself the freedom to have good things, giving yourself the freedom to serve yourself Justice so that other people can serve you, Justice, giving yourself the freedom to relax into the energy of receiving kindness and genuine love and respect from people who fully intend to give it to you and serve you compensation for heartbreak and loss. But there are also lessons here and understanding the fundamental bricks that makeup who you’ve become and how that seeps into your relationships as an individual, as someone with full autonomy and the ability to make their own decisions and show up as who they truly desire to be in love.
There’s a lot here, a message about stepping into your power and going against the status quo or challenging the status quo and blowing to smithereens preconceived ideas of who you should be and what you should accept whether these ideas were built around you or built by you. Spirit is also trying to teach you that there is more to love and connection than what the human world has taught you. There’s a message here about you coming to terms with the idea that love and true soul-deep connection goes against all logical ideas of what is possible here. You may be somewhat of a skeptic in the sense that you feel the extent of what we speak on (in regards to high-level soul connections and soul ties and soul connections in general) and how much power we give such things does not exist the way they are portrayed to exist but your resistance to these ideas highlights fear within self of true and deep attachment that cannot be destroyed or denied here.
There is knowledge and an aspect of yourself and your spirit that you’ve not tapped into or are covering your ears and eyes to out of fear. You are keeping yourself small in all aspects out of fear and choosing to create delays, tell yourself lies, and hide within your shadow and within the ego. Your recent failures in love and experiences in love teach you things regarding the need to let go and surrender to the divine plan and surrender to the change and transformation you must undergo to step into your power although it is scary and casts light on aspects of you who’d rather sit in the dark and hide away.
There are breakthroughs and mental clarity being birthed and given to you through love and heartbreak and the ups and downs and fluidity of human connection here. There’s something significant here about heart break and your past relationships or misaligned relationships here. You could be experiencing heartbreak or these back-to-back heart chakra awakenings that were sent to you to awaken you to your unhappiness in some of your relationships as well as the reason they may not have worked out because of aspects of your shadow here. You could’ve spent a lot of time in unhappy relationships in your past that you romanticized or glorified due to trauma that could’ve brought some semblance of heartbreak to you.
There’s also another connection I see here with a high priestess or someone who holds great divinity who could’ve given you true heart break or showed you what it means to lose someone whom you shared a true love with or a divine connection with here that’s highlighting and emphasizing this nine of cups in reverse, all this unhappiness and all of these ego. Ego death is highly significant for this pile. When this person leaves they trigger tower moments, where this person goes, rebirth occurs whether they mean to or not. They’re heavily supported and looked after by important deities. This person has an older soul and has walked through many lives being love, war, desire, and temptation, and all things that sit within the human shadow and all of its complexity. Your lesson lies in your shadow, your authenticity, and your ego. It’s time to undergo immense change even if it is difficult, painful, or scary.
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iii.
Right now spirit may be potentially highlighting some co-dependent habits and behaviors in love for you pile three. There’s also a potential for some lessons regarding you honoring your feelings and your heart here. You may be someone who is prone to staying in situations that aren’t serving them and will not serve them out of codependency. True love could’ve been presented to you or there is someone that you loved here who was shown to you that you could’ve parted from. The love you had for this person represented love that you could’ve had for yourself but you ran from this person out of fear and made the decision to fall into karmic cycles or continue to invest your energy into karmic cycles and your window to make a different choice was closed on you here.
Your lessons in love, in general, as well as of late lie in your self respect and the need to reinvent who you are and who you choose to be. Something is incredibly significant about your choices here. You may be choosing to mimic certain examples you’ve seen in your life pertaining to who to be, or what love looks like instead of choosing to go in the opposite direction and choose differently to bring yourself true fulfillment. Spirit asks when you’re going to make choices that reflect back to you self love and a desire to be free. The words unfair are coming out here. I’m hearing someone complaining or validating that their life and their experiences are harsh and unfair but not taking the initiative to make better choices.
There’s a masculine energy here or a father that may play a huge role in your decisions and the way you view yourself, view relationships and navigate issues in your life here. If this is not the case there is still issues and misalignment regarding the making of decisions and creating healthy and aligned foundations for yourself in order to flourish. Spirit is saying that your experience in love or what you’re learning in love is necessary in order to push you to step into your power and find it within yourself to full your own cup and fulfill your souls purpose. You could be experiencing a large amount of issues within your current relationship or within your relationships in general both platonic and romantic that are contributing to an ego death or heart chakra awakening so that you can turn inwards and see yourself and see your surroundings for what they are and understand that you’re settling.
Spirit is shining light on your unhappiness and dissatisfaction with a lot of things within your life right now including relationships and spirit wants to know what you’re going to do about it?? Your lesson in love lies in how long you’re going to sell yourself short, settle for less than you deserve, and continue to remain stagnant for no reason other than to push against change and push against the current. Your soul family is not within the circle of people or the lovers that you invest your energy into, those people aren’t meant for you, those people won’t fill your cup whilst you attempt to fill theirs, those people won’t bend over backwards for you the way you bend over backwards for them. Those people don’t love you. Your lesson lies in how long you’re going to hide behind your shadow and ignore the call forward to undergo much needed transformation and healing. When are you going to make the right choices?
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raynedayys2 · 9 months
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If I ever have kids, I want to be the parent I never had.
I want to support my kids if they realize they're LGBTQ+.
I want them to feel safe talking to me about anything.
I want them to feel safe crying near me & know that I'll comfort them.
I want them to never hear me scream/yell.
I want them to randomly hug me or talk to me without fear of me being in a bad mood.
I want them to see me express my anger & sadness in healthy ways.
I want them to never know how it feels to have your feelings invalidated by your parents.
I want them to actually like living with me and not want to move at immediately at 18.
I want them to feel safe & loved because I wanted to feel safe & loved.
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connieaaa · 1 year
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I'd like to find every person in my life who told me "you'll miss being a kid", and "being a kid is the best time of your life, enjoy it" and tell them all off. No, I do not miss being a kid. Being a kid sucks.
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thequotegarden · 2 years
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texaschainsawmascara · 4 months
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The Batman / Game of Thrones / Ptolemaea - Ethel Cain / The Cursed / Ad Astra / Persepolis
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theereina · 3 months
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Being the youngest child and last remaining child in the home of older black parents isn't as stable and secure as most assume. I wish I could explain it. It's not the spoiled, dreamy lifestyle most think. Or maybe my experience is just different.
Don't get me wrong. I am grateful for them, but Lord help me.
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