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bfdifan26 · 8 months

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please do list of every burner depression i love this show so so much you should do that

okay! thank you for enabling me. disclaimer im not a Depression Expert i pretty much only know what i go through myself. have fun

ok so roomy isnt a contestant but i do wanna talk about her. i feel like the whole thing with her literally being the room can be compared to something like a kid with depression not leaving their room and just living within a tight window of reality, only ever speaking to their parents and stuff. i feel like roomy can be related to that as she literally can’t leave. like executive dysfunction the character. also her personality, only caring about being nice and not hurting others, and by doing that not letting anyone know who she really is or how she really feels

okay onto the contestants now. rosey is a very interesting character, what draws me in about her the most is her almost refusal to appear vulnerable or overwhelmed by anything, always needing a guaranteed way to do something so she knows it’ll work. this can be seen as somebody with depression relying on things in their life that they know off by heart, things like routines and rituals they perform daily, having something to fall back on and feel some normalcy through. again she’s very similar to roomy with the whole social butterfly thing

spraypaint is tricky because we’ve basically only ever seen her be like Ahh im gonna kill you be scared. but i do think she has a reason to constantly be like that towards people. nobody is ever aggressive because they like it i dont think anyone likes being on guard 24/7. i feel like she relies on her knife alot, for example in the scene where she argues with playdoh after they run into eachother, she tries to just kill him right there instead of bothering to interact with him once she gets bored of him and decides he has nothing to say that she wants to hear (based but only because it’s playdoh)

kit seems to be very self confident unlike the majority of the other characters, but for the entire time, others have kind of decided what kit is like in their heads and settled on it, based off how she appears. that being limey seeing how relaxed and inexpressive she is and that making him think that she doesn’t care about things around her. with depression it can be easy to get tired of some things, but people then assume you don’t care about anything, and that you’re just apathetic, and/or constantly thinking you’re sad when like. thats just how you look Lol. that’s what kit and how she’s treated reminds me of

speaking of limey. he’s pretty similar to spraypaint, except he’s much more sensitive, or at least outwardly. it doesn’t take much for him to feel overwhelmed and like everybody is out to get him, and he’s always trying to counter this feeling by insisting to both others and himself that he has something up his sleeve that’ll make everyone regret thinking badly of him. he’s just a very defensive character and who can blame him. oh also hes very clearly hyperfixated on the idea of being a cartoony super villain or something. it’s a part of his identity he relies ALOT on, always falling into it especially when he feels threatened

pilly is very organised and on top of everyone else, and his only fault ive noticed is his detachment. he says to record outright that he doesn’t need or want friends, and purposely blends in to make sure he isn’t noticed and nobody tries to connect with him. i think this can be 2 different things; either he just straight up doesn’t like other people and finds them draining and just another hassle, or he really would like a friend but would rather not reach out from fear of being rejected. i think it’s the first one but you can never know

peanut is another character who’s very isolated except for him it’s nobody’s fault or deliberate choice really. we’ve seen that he lives in the middle of the country out on a farm, either living on his own or with his close family. my personal idea of him involves the second one and that also fits in with this. one of peanut’s very first lines is that he doesn’t care about what happens to him and is mostly focused on doing things for others’ sake. hes seen to be used to doing the dirty work for people and to be happy with it being like this. i think peanut relies on being a helping hand since well. that’s all he really knows how to do, and how to be wanted by others

to say polaroid is overshadowed by the other characters is an understatement both in the show and outside. like i think he’s the character with the least fanart, even including the one-time cameo dudes. its a shame because he’s SO good. his most noticeable trait first up is that he can’t speak verbally, and for others to acknowledge his words they have to put effort in which. unfortunately alot of people dont. like this hes ignored easily and often, being talked over, people dragging him around and ordering him to do things without listening to what he thinks first. but despite this hes so caring, seen with him encouraging pilly even after he threatened him with elimination (have i ever mentioned i love those two’s relationship so much) and comforting roomy and going with her to help with her fears

record is like. id say one of the most depression coded objects ever. she’s shy but not the stereotypical shy archetype, questioning people’s orders and sometimes even getting frustrated with others. she’s shown to have trouble explaining herself to others, feeling like she needs to in order to be forgiven for well. Literally just standing there. not much i can say about her that hasn’t been said /agreed on already

onto hanger my favourite… hanger is again, talked over by basically everyone. she rarely has the opportunity to ‘prove herself’ to others and when she does, the credit is taken away from her and it doesn’t matter how much she yells and argues, she can never be listened to. when this happens to someone it can easily feel like nothing you do will ever work and it’s just hopeless to even think of doing anything right or impressing anybody. i wouldn’t say hanger feels like that since we’ve seen that she’s very strong willed, but that’s just the thing. she HAS to stop herself from feeling that way because nobody else will, she has nobody else to rely on.

except erasey

erasey is similar to kit with the whole under expressive thing, as well as it being seen that they kind of struggle with motivation. they seem to have a kind of omnipotence that makes it so that they know what to do and how to do it, and if it’s even worth it to try. but apart from that they don’t do much else, that’s all that’s important to them. they only try to do what they absolutely need to

i hope playdoh cries again in burner 4

#long post #i encourage you to write your own thing about playdoh bc im not doing it #burner #burner osc #burner object show #roomy #rosey #spraypaint #kit #limey #pilly #peanut #Polaroid #record #hanger #erasey #playdoh #tbh i struggle to do anything for tissues. he’s like erasey except he has fun with it lol

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yeonjxnnies · 2 years

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i'm never giving up on you — vinsmoke sanji

word count. 1.2k words

summary. sanji teaches you how to cook. chaos soon ensues.

tags. just pure fluff tbh, sanji is Whipped but when is he not

warnings. vague descriptions of minor injuries (knife cut), not proofread 😬

a/n. ive never written for sanji (and any one piece character other than law if im being honest) before so if its a little ... pls forgive me hajdhhahs also the title is a bit angsty ... dont blame me tho i just got it from a list of fluff lines prompts SKDKSKKS anyways enjoy!! <3

•••••••••

You watch Sanji from behind the bar, utterly fascinated by how he seems to glide all around the kitchen with purpose. Like he knows exactly what he needs to do. Every move, every flick of the wrist, there is intent so precise in them, you begin to wonder just how he manages to do it.

And so you ask.

“How do you do it?”

Sanji lowly hums, bringing the heat of the stove down before turning to where you’re sitting in the kitchen’s bar. He places both of his hands on the marble surface. He leans over, tall figure towering over you more than he normally would. “Do what?”

A weird feeling starts bubbling in the depths of your gut. You try to ignore it to the best of your abilities, but it's hard when Sanji's staring down at you, his eyes both intense and comforting at the same time. You feel so seen, and raw under his gaze.

It makes you squirm in your seat, just barely, and it would've gone unnoticeable to anyone else. But Sanji takes note of this and backs off a little.

You clear your throat.

"The cooking." you say, voice firm. But you realize that it might sound weird, might make you look a little dumb, so you try to explain.

"I mean, I know you've been learning about it your whole life and everything but I guess I meant, like, how are you so good at it? No that's not right. What i'm trying to say is- you know what, never mind. Forget i-"

"Hey, love, it's ok." he chuckles, an amused smile on his lips. "I get what you mean, alright? No need to get all worked up." His hands find yours, and only then do you realize that you're shaking, and your hand is freezing under his warmth. He plays around with your hand for a bit, drawing circles on your palm and rubbing the hills of your knuckles. The soft pads of his fingertips on your skin helps you calm down. The shaking stops.

"Right," you take a breath, following a quiet "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about, love." Sanji mutters. He plants a kiss on your forehead and you flush a bright red. He turns back towards the stove and continues cooking, "And to answer your question, old man Zeff and the crappy cooks at Baratie helped a lot."

Everything becomes a blur to you after that. Your mind tunes it all out, including Sanji. You don't mean to, but it's inevitable with the way he's standing right now, body positioned in such a way that lets you see what he's cooking and a side of his face. And it is truly a sight for sore eyes.

Sanji is pretty. you think. you're sure of it. Sanji is pretty like this. When he talks about what he's passionate about, what he loves. You decide that you want to see more of it.

His lips don't stop moving and your mind is filled with thoughts of how they might feel. How soft they would be against yours.

"I can try teaching you, if you'd like?"

Your train of thought is cut off by this and you agree with a nod, still in a daze and not really sure of what you're getting yourself into. Sanji beams. He wordlessly guides you to the other side of the kitchen, hand lightly gripping your waist, and grabs an extra apron for you to wear.

You glance at him as he helps you tie a knot over your back before swiftly taking a step in front of you.

"Are you ready, y/n-san?" He smiles.

You tilt your head to the side, unsure.

"Yes?"

—

As it turns out, you weren't ready. At all.

The next thirty or so minutes that follow is what you would consider either the best or worst experience in your life.

Sanji chooses to teach you a meal he learned when he was a kid, one of the first that Zeff taught him. "It'll be fun" he says, "It's really simple, love, practically foolproof."

And though you begin to feel the anxiety creep up, you believe him. You don't have a single beat of doubt on sanji.

He hovers around you like a butterfly. He's attentive and guides you through each and every step with an imaginary encouraging hand on your back, giving you tips here and there.

But it all comes spiraling downwards when he wraps his arms around you, placing his hand over yours that's holding the knife. He opens his mouth to say something, possibly lecture you about how to properly slice the piece of vegetable, but the words are caught in his throat as he realizes what he has done.

A slight turn of his head and he is met by the sight of you. Mouth ajar similarly to his, a few beats of silence ensues.

His mere presence alone can suffocate you, but now that you are standing this close to him, you realize the true gravity of his effects on you.

You aren't sure what you should do next. You aren't sure if you should lean in, turn around and get comfortable, speak. You aren't sure of anything. Only that you're with him, sharing this moment, between the four walls that he's most comfortable in.

Sanji's grip on your hand loosens, lowering down to your waist. You're completely encased in his arms now. You shift around, your body taking a mind of its own as you try to get comfortable in his hold.

And then, it happens.

You yelp as you drop the knife onto your fingers. Tears welling in your eyes, you check and see that your fingers are (luckily) still intact. But the knife digs just enough into the flesh that you now have a wound on three of your fingers.

It fucking stings. Is all you can think of. But you can't bring yourself to act on the pain.

Sanji is initially taken aback. he's frozen, seeing some blood starting to seep out of your skin, but he reminds himself that you are in pain and you need his help. He snaps out of his daze quickly, and he rushes you to the sink.

You don't say anything as Sanji cleans your wound for you. He's whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he rubs the soap and rinses your hand. He urges you to take a seat on the bar again while he grabs the bandages he kept in one of the kitchen drawers in case an accident happened. It doesn't take long for him to wrap the small piece of fabric around your injured fingers.

He shifts his seat closer to you right after, his fingers dancing around the skin over your arm. "You okay, y/n-san?" He murmurs.

You nod, "It wasn't that deep anyway."

There's a soft smile on your lips as you two face each other, and Sanji takes this as your unspoken token of gratitude. He smiles back, equally soft and warm.

"We can try this again next time, you know..." Sanji trails off. You find this endearing, really, when his suave charm from earlier is being worn down and replaced by this unfamiliar bashfulness.

"Yeah?" You say, brows slightly raised.

"Yeah." He replies, "We can do this as many times as you want, love, I'm never giving up on you."

You flush red, again. It's your body's automatic response to Sanji's antics, no matter how small or grand, at this point. You avoid his gaze, bringing a hand up to shove him lightly on the shoulder. "You're so dramatic."

Soft laughter erupts from the two of you.

This is nice. Everything is nice when Sanji is around.

•••••••••

a/n. hi .. lowkey hated the ending but i was rushing by that point so i deeply apologize GDJDHSH likes n rbs r highly appreciated and feel free to leave ur thoughts on my asks!! <3

#vinsmoke sanji x y/n #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x you #vinsmoke sanji imagines #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #one piece x you #one piece #vinsmoke sanji #yeonjxnnies.fics

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misqnon · 12 days

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u gotta try harder /j

I WASNT ON TUMBLR MUCH TIL LIKE.. A YEAR AGO... SO I HAD NO IDEA .... that is extremely funny. thank u

theyre in a 3 way qpr with luffy as the center

THAT ZORO IMAGE IS SO FUNYN AHFHSJD

"i like to imagine he speaks with the emojis like you typed them. (“how are you saying that out loud-”)" NAHDIAHE hes magic thats how

i have a big crush on ace too but TRACE HEATFIST.... something abt him.... idk he just hits the spot for me. i love big brother characters n characters that r good with kids.. ace fills that spot.. and then u add his silly smoothness in the 4kids dub and its like wow. u are Perfect.

STEAL THEM!! i have . a pinterest board of . meme image. silly meme image. (is pinterest something ppl still use... i only started using it a few years ago)

NO A CUP MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE... I think u were rightm.

THATS SO FUNNY... see i never thought dragons were real but i DID believe . that unicorns were real for quite a while (i never liked to admit it). honestly i didnt consume much dragon content but i did like to just. think abt them . i had this mobile game i liked playing that was just a choose ur own adventure type story . but ur a dragon. never played spyro (and didnt even know about it til i was like... 12) but it seems rly fun and i would love to play the remaster,, purple dragon ily. i cant believe ur the kind of kid who could beat games... i was so stupid as a kid i didnt even know how to play animal crossing city folk correctly .... YOU ALSO??? FLIGHT RISING???? i joined in uhh 2019? i think? i found out abt it in like 2016 but forgot and then tried to join in 2018 but it wasnt accepting new users.. and then yeah. 2019. so ive been on and off a lot but i LOVE flight rising. i love my dragons. even tho theyre mostly un-gened 1st generation dragons..

sanji is . arguably the most human of all the straw hats.. which is interesting bc he is also the only one who was supposed to be inhuman. ofc i think theyre all very human but sanji has the most moments where i can relate to him. the sanuso fic i was reading yesterday... he was so full of shame... and they wrote him hiding behind his hair.. and i felt so intensely SEEN by that. like oh my god he is ME i do all these things.. i find that my comfort characters are usually... ones who suffer a lot. i love suffering. in media.

SHREK SCREENSHOT..

"I WANT TO PUT THE SANJI FEEDING MICE AND THE CREW IS CONFUSED SCENE IN A FIC SO BAD BUT I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK ATM 😭" i will write it for u

"sanji vs. minnie mouse his hardest battle yet" oh my god........ ur mind...... wow...... genius...... crackship time (have u seen . oh wait ur not into jjk.. ok have u seen frollo x goofy... its insane...)

BEING MAD ABOUT SIMPING FOR SANJI IS SO REAL.. please dont be attractive please stop please... please . IVE SEEN THAT OUTFIT and every time i get ANGRY (not for real but y'know.) because he looks SO GOOD and i dont like to admit that.. i hate to admit that. UR RIGHT that outfit is extremely gay like wtf is going on with that tie???? or whatever it is? around his neck??? this is like gay men wearing scarves

"have u seen that post where its drawings of each of the strawhat “rescue teams” of arlong park, enies lobby, and whole cake?" I SAW THAT A FEW HOURS AGO AHDHSH

"law 1: edgy. flipping u off. deranged. a bit evil looking. kinda hot" i see u...

i love law so much he is so antagonizing and then . the contrast.. when he is stupid or cute. its wonderful.

"HE ALSO LOOKS SO SO PATHETIC 😭 SOPPING WET CAT OF A MAN" i LOVE how pathetic he looks. i like pathetic people so much.. like why are u like that.. making me pity u.. only in media tho never in real life 🙏🙏

ZORO LOOKS LIKE A DOG AHEJDHA WHAT IS THAT

USOPP?? USOPP?????? HES THE MEME IMAGE ...

CHOOPA MY GUY.. he looks so silly as a full deer i wish he did that more often

this is blue period but im running out of funny images i have saved ...

dw abt taking a bit to reply!! i am patient /gen

IM TRYING MY BEST

sharing my veteran knowledge

3 WAY QPR IS PERFECT

trace heatfist the magic man. skeazy magician and fuckboy

ace is VERY likeable idk a single person who doesnt like him. even my non one piece friend likes him but i think shes weak to his freckles

i trade memes like pokemon cards. i look forward to this symbiotic relationship

arent unicorns the national animal of scotland…(or ireland maybe…) THAT WOULD MAKE ME THINK THEYRE REAL

I COULD ONLY BEAT SOME GAMES a lot i didnt but usually bc i got out of the rhythm of playing them and left them unfinished. when i was younger i made my older brother play the hard parts for me a lot LMAO. ALSO DO YOU WANT MY FLIGHT RISING DRAGONS. IDK WHAT TO DO WITH THEM ALL MAN I DONT PLAY ANYMORE

i love that sanji is arguably the most emotional of the group (aside from franky or chopper, but for them its just played for laughs) and that overemotional/low self esteem part is exactly what makes him so relatable. i actually really appreciate that oda gave that trait to a male character. sanji cries a lot and is overemotional and kind of hysteric sometimes jdvbvfjdk so im glad they didnt make it like nami or robin who was like that stereotype. GOD I REALLY CONVERTED U TO SANJI TOWN DIDNT I. SORRY WE’RE ALL HERE BECAUSE WE HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM AND PROJECT ONTO THE WEIRDO

*FROLLO X GOOFY????*

I HATE ADMITTING THAT I THINK HE’S HOT BC HE DOESNT DESERVE IT. BUT I DO. I THINK SANJI IS HOT. I DO. UNFORTUNATELY. in that maroon wano suit…ODA WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THAT!!!!!!!

and yes law too…listen. i have a big heart, ready to love, [possessed by sanji]

the little scarf/ascot is the gayest part

“"HE ALSO LOOKS SO SO PATHETIC 😭 SOPPING WET CAT OF A MAN" i LOVE how pathetic he looks. i like pathetic people so much.. like why are u like that.. making me pity u.. only in media tho never in real life 🙏🙏” exactly…PATHETIC FICTIONAL MEN GO HARD

I LOVE THE DOG ZORO SCREENSHOT HE LOOKS LIKE HES GONNA BITE SOMEBODY

AND USOPP KDSJNKJ I USE THAT ONE SO MUCH

i agree i like almost all of chopper’s other forms better than when hes a little baby 😭

IS THAT MAKIMA NSCKJAS???

also u are free to keep sending me e-letters but if you want to just message on discord that is also fine. as i said. message me whenever 🫡

lets see what we have for 2day...

#asks #replies #long post #march anon

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infectedpaul · 3 years

Text

You Matter To Me (Squip/Reader)

You've had your Squip for a bit now and it's been fine for the most part, until he brings up the idea of looking into romantic relationships with others which opens up a lot of wounds you wanted to just bury deep and forget about. But you can't begin the road to recovery without asking why you got there, right?

SO IVE NEVER....WRITTEN AN X READER B4 UGH HJKSAJDASKDJSA esp not for a near dead fandom OH WELL oh well oh well h ignore this my normal followers please please

(warning 4 talks of depression/self degrading talk, its hurt comfort yada yada i need 2 touch grass ik)

ao3 link if u prefer that!!

You weren't made for love, at least, you didn't think so.

For as long as you'd been looking for it, it was always so out of reach. Easily visible, sure. Walking past groups of friends laughing it up on the sidewalks, partners entangled in each other's arms, seemingly trying to make their love known for all. But for you to have any of that for yourself? The heat death of the universe would sooner come, surely.

You'd sort of given up on it. It would be nice, you'd think. To be held, wrapped up in someone's arms, and just to stay there for as long as either of you could want. That cozy, warm feeling of being with someone that you only saw in movies or read about in books. But you had just accepted it wasn't in the cards, so to speak. And you were fine with that.

Well, you told yourself anyway. You knew it was for a deeper reason, though, but that wasn't something you liked to think about too heavily.

It was easier to do that when you didn't have a roommate that could dig into your brain and pry every little detail about them out of you.

When you got your Squip, you didn't know it'd be so adamant about perfecting every little last thing you were. How long or short your hair was styled, if your shoes matched your eyes, how fast or slow you were walking and how too brisk would make you seem like you were constipated but too slow and your likelihood of getting run over by a horse-drawn carriage gone would go up much higher, nevermind that you've never even seen a horse in real life.

What you did know, by now at least was that the Squip was persistent, seeing himself as your guardian angel, a guiding light in your desolate dark world of humanity, ickiness and week old pizza boxes you were too unmotivated to at least move off the bed.

So when his ideal response wasn't given when he proposed seeking out a lovelife, he was...well,

"I'm not sure I understand." His head crooked to the side, puzzled by your surface level indifference, "You're of consenting age, marginally attractive and only slightly under average at socializing. Finding a mate can't be too hard."

His holographic form hummed a soft, near silent buzz, a small imperfection to his otherwise flawless binary makeup. Other than that, and the soft, tinted blue glow around his form, he looked completely human. A little too human, really. Something so real, realer than any CG or video game, but something was just...off, something from the uncanny valley. You hadn't kept him in this form long, you liked to change it up from time to time, maybe to trick yourself into thinking he was someone new, making your brain think you had more friends besides the computer you bought behind a Rack Room.

You didn't look at him though when you responded, too preoccupied with the paper in front of you, decorated with a few characters concocted from your imagination. "I dunno," you shrug, brushing off eraser marks, "Just not my thing, I guess." You could feel his confusion, a bit of gut feeling as his thoughts jumbled in with your own. He was really only in your brain, afterall; the figure behind you sitting on your bed was just something he made up to ease your brain into trusting a new, larger source of perpetually growing information. "But, the purpose of this time in your life is to mate and birth young, is it not?"

You really wished he'd learn to stop talking about you and 'the homo sapien species' like you were a mindless ape made to breed and nothing else.

"Uh, I mean not really. I know that's what everyone around me is doing," Your mind thought back to all the cringey baby announcement videos from kids you knew in high school, "But it's...I guess I'm just not up for it. It's not really for people like me."

He was quiet. Only for a second, before he asked,

"People like you?" Another silence hung in the air. It was a truth you knew he could easily just reach into your brain and find for himself so you kept quiet for a bit longer, waiting for him to start digging. But you didn't feel it, that very familiar sudden ache in the back of your head you got when he went poking around for more things to nag at you about. Just quiet in your room, only the soft buzz and birds tweeting outside your window any solace from the uncomfortable silence you felt.

You shrugged again, and turned to face him, seeing now the muddled and a little concerned look on his face. "You know? The quiet ones, the losers. People like me don't get to be loved. I've just accepted that." You could have said a lot worse, and it seemed like he knew that. You didn't really understand, either. You didn't like yourself, plain and simple.

His concern only seemed to grow, eyebrows furrowing and staring intently at you. You thought for a second, maybe it was anger. It wouldn't be the first time. You were mostly compliant to his (mandatory) suggestions for life improvement, but every once in a while he would propose an idea that you would fight about, like clothes you weren't comfortable wearing for one reason or another. He said he was a learning computer, so he would need your help on things like emotions and comfiness, physical or mental, ruling out whatever the newest trends were. He would be fine afterwards but, he could get pretty huffy about you trying on too skinny-skinny jeans.

But that didn't happen, there wasn't a small but fierce jolt of electricity in your back to stop you from going against 'social programming', as he called it. He just looked at you a bit longer, seemingly turning gears in his head as he tried to process what you're saying.

You gave him a sober smile, trying to still seem indifferent, though for a second you wondered maybe if he was still prying at you, in a different way at least, because if he was, it seemed to be working.

"What? I'm just not that special. You of all people know that, right?" It was almost like you weren't hearing what was coming out of your mouth, that casual self-degradation that almost frightened him. You heard stories from message boards about that, older models of the Squip forcing reprogramming onto the host by breaking down their emotional state with verbal or physical punishment for...just existing, really.

He wasn't really like that though. Yes he could be annoyed when you didn't comply, but you were both good at compromise and treated situations like adults, even if at first you weren't much motivated to treat any situation at all. He informed you while you were looking through those boards that his creators had taken in accounts of previous incidents and built more of a guide to self-improvement than a ball and chain with a backhand. Humans were fragile, he knew that, and it wasn't okay to hurt them just to get a little closer to their goal.

But maybe, did he not think that humans were more than capable of hurting themselves? Their own words used against them, their internal voices bashing against their brains, turning them to mush and making them too scared or unmotivated to build it back up again.

"I just know no one would love some useless, pitiful person...I just kinda got over that a while ago." You almost frightened him with how nonchalant you were about the whole thing. It wasn't intentional, you weren't trying to seek attention or be funny. You just knew there was plenty of other people out there worthy of all that lovey-dovey stuff you thought would be nice but...it's just not meant for you.

There was a knot in his voice as he finally spoke up,

"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" The last piece of the puzzle had finally clicked into place, but he didn't look satisfied, not that cheeky, self-centered chagrin when things went his way or when he was proven right yet again.

You thought he knew that. You thought from day one he just figured that out and that's why he's been trying so hard to make you into a model citizen or something. "Did you just think you were here to help me pick out clothes in the morning?" You laughed, he seemed to know it was forced.

"Well...y-yes, maybe. I just...I never looked into that possibility of…" He was regaining his composure; this was a side you've never seen of him before. He's always been so astute, robotic and to the point. He's never fumbled over his words or had to give himself a second to figure out what to say next.

"How long has it been like this, Y/N?" His hands were folded neatly on his lap, still looking you dead-on, waiting for you to answer his distressed queuerie with worried patience.

You got up out of your chair, pushing it back and behind you to step away from the table and your drawings. "I dunno," you said, taking a few steps towards the long mirror hung on your wall, "for as long as I can remember, I guess." You looked at your reflection, only tired, dark eyes looking back at you. Even though the edge of the bed was visible in the mirror, your Squip didn't show up in it, another reminder of just how alone you were outside of your head.

"I just started to feel like I didn't belong more and more and...that ate me up so much I just started believing in it. I-I didn't wanna go to school or talk to people or even get up 'cause...well," You turned away from the mirror before you could see the tears you'd been holding back, looking at the more distressed figure in view of you again, "what would anyone be missing, really?" You still smiled, that big smile you both worked so meticulously on making seem not too forced when you had to act excited or just blend into normal social gatherings, but it wavered so easily, like a thin strip of paper about to tear off the nail that barely held it up on the wall.

His eyes widened at the sight of your tears, immediately getting up and briskly walking to stand in front of you, not knowing how to proceed in the moment. He hadn't had to deal with something like this yet and he was troubleshooting to see what was the correct response to a human breakdown.

You looked down, covering your eyes with one hand and clenching the other into a fist, big, strained smile still plastered on your face and trying so hard not to seem more weak than you knew you were. You were nothing. You knew that, you thought he did too. You thought you could just fix things, but how could you do that without getting to the source? You knew you couldn't just sidestep around why you wanted things to get better with humans, but with a computer who could read your brain like the newspaper, you thought maybe you could get around that.

You heard him sigh before a feeling of arms wrapping around you caught you off guard, the Squip entangling you in his grasp and his head resting on yours. It was all simulated, you knew. He had done things such as lightly punch your arm as if to say 'Good job, Sport!' or tap your shoulder to grab your attention without startling you, but this was different. He held onto you for a good couple of seconds, a wave of warmth spreading through your body in an instant. He pet back your hair with one hand, rubbing your back with the other and finally broke the silence in the room.

"Y/N, it- ...it pains me, hearing you speak that way about yourself. You're…" He looked down at you, holding you a bit closer and tightening his grip just a tad. "You're an incredible, talented, wonderful person. You've come so far and you've taught me so much about humans and myself and I just couldn't ask for a better-" He stopped. You knew what he was going to say, a better host, a better human, a better assignment to help and guide and-

"A better friend."

A friend?

He never referred to you or anyone with such a personal or affectionate term. It almost didn't seem real, like you maybe misheard him. Your smile had shattered into a small frown and, with teary-eyes and your voice already cracking, you looked up at him, meeting his almost-heartbroken eyes in an expression that looked so foreign on his normally composed face.

"What?"

He gave a weak smile, trying to be comforting but his fear showing plain as day. You could feel it within you too, a pit in your stomach forming as your chest tightened. You knew it wasn't your anxiety, but his.

"Do I need to repeat myself, Y/N? I think of you as a friend and..." His hand moved off of your back and ran itself up to rest on your shoulder, the other holding your cheek and wiping away your tears with his thumb. "I want to do all I can to show you that from here on."

You almost couldn't breathe as you looked at him, feeling for the first time that unconditional love you yearned for. You could feel your heart race in your chest, something you knew he could feel too but you were too crushed to say anything. You simply slammed yourself into his chest, grabbing fistfulls of his shirt that made your hands tingle like they fell asleep. His arms enveloped you yet again, the both of you holding onto each other so tight like either of you would fall through the floor if you let go.

You sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for what felt like hours, and, just maybe, you thought you could hear him crying too, but that'd be silly...right?

When you were finally out of tears to cry, you stood there still, simply bathing in each other's presence, the feeling you only saw in others finally yours. And you knew it was only a matter of time before this too was stolen from you, the universe would take back anything from people unworthy but...for right now, you wanted to be a little selfish.

"I'm sorry." You whispered, face still buried in his shirt.

"For?" His head was rested on yours again, holding up your weak and tired form with no effort, just trying to keep you propped up until you were ready to let go.

"I got you to help me but...I can't even let you in like I'm supposed to. But...I want to. I just want help." You pushed yourself off of him, one thought between you and him and his hands meeting yours, the simulated tingle in there again as you held each other's palms in yours and looked at each other with such exhausted eyes and worn-out but so genuine smiles.

He leaned down and planted a kiss on your forehead, a soft hue of pink blush spreading on your drained and exhausted face.

"I'd love to help, friend."

#dex says things #THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE FLDSJFKLDSFDS #THE WORST PART IS IM PROUD OF THIS UGH #be more chill #the squip #squip x reader #my writing #ITS 530 AM UGH

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camgirlkaminari · 3 years

Text

so ive been thinking for a while now how bonkers it is that ochako has a floatation quirk and an almost identical hairstyle to inko midoriya, and now that we're closing in on deku mastering all 7 ofa quirks, I can't stop thinking that nana, a woman who has been textually compared to inko midoriya, ALSO had a floatation quirk. i wanna ramble about it a little bit:

inko's first introduction to the comic is her telling us that she can float small objects toward herself:

she's an older generation, so her quirk isn't all that powerful compared to the kids' quirks. this is apparent when ochako comes into play and can float much larger objects, but with less control over their trajectory. i think we're not ever meant to compare the two characters' quirks, since ochako is more powerful, and can also float herself. even further, inko doesn't seem to suffer any consequences for using her floatation quirk, but since we are only shown her using it once, there's no way to know.

(i find inko to be such a strange character. she spends so much time crying and being deku's mom that we forget that she is her own person. she's married. she has a quirk. what's her job? how does she pay the bills? how did she meet her fire breathing husband? does she have parents of her own? we know so much more about everyone else's parents than we even know about the main character's mom! this feels so deliberate, even beyond the fact that we are all wondering if deku's dad is somehow ~a villain~. like I don't care about deku's dad! what's up with his fucking mom!!)

so now we're so focused on ochako's journey to mastering her quirk and learning how to float herself in addition to huge objects that we almost forget how similar to inko she started out: her hair, her face, her kindness, her strength.

spoilers ahead:

now, like 150 chapters later, we learn about nana shimura's quirk: float. deku knows what's coming, so he asks his friend ochako, who can float, for pointers on floating. this is excellent strategy, deku! good call! you don't know anyone else who can float themselves so you learn from ochako!

meanwhile, absolutely NO MENTION of how 'hey, my mom can float stuff too! weird coincidence!' despite him remembering all might's comparison of nana to his mother.

all of this leads me to have a few theories about the nature of afo & ofa, the relationship between ochako, nana, inko, and deku, and the major themes of legacy in bnha.

theory one: Gramps For All

there's a massive theme in bnha of grandchildren of importance. first, we learn that tomura shiguraki is the grandson of nana shimura, a pro hero, one of the three factions warring for a place in post-quirk society. then we learn Eri is an instance of this: she's the granddaughter of an equally influential player. The comatose boss of the yakuza, one of the three factions warring for a place in post-quirk society.

there's all kinds of legacies in bnha: shouto, the son of the number 1 hero, a direct victim of hero society. iida, the younger brother of a hero who was victimized by a villain hell-bent on changing hero society. hawks, the son of a serial killer, a victim who perpetuates the cycle of victimization in the name of upholding hero society. all these legacies, but we don't know anything about their extended families. what are endeavor's parents like? were iida's grandparents pro heroes too? does hawks really have no other family?

and where are deku's grandparents? did they ever watch him while his single mom was working?

my theory is that afo is not dad for one, but actually gramps for one. he had children, more than one, and they each had their own children. inko is one of them, and izuku is the resulting child.

deku, grandson of all for one, one of the three factions warring for a place in post-quirk society. eri, shiguraki, and deku, each representing the groups most affected by post-quirk society: yakuza, "villains," and "heroes."

theory two: ochako & deku are cousins

why the hell does ochako look so much like inko midoriya and NOT her parents?

(in the anime, they look a lot like her, but in the manga...)

gramps for one had children, more than one, and they each had their own children.

i think that ochako may be adopted, or one of her parents is, or perhaps even inko was, so ochako's connection to biological relations is distant or non existent. she may not even know. we've seen that horikoshi doesn't make character design mistakes, and he's gotta realize that every time he draws deku & ochako in the same scene that he's drawn the same face twice.

so either he's trying to throw us off, or he's making a grander statement about who they are. he's a fan of star wars- he's already done a reverse of "I am your father" with touya & endeavor, so I think it would be interesting if he's set up this ochako/deku thing as a fun homage to luke/leia, too. but they're cousins, not twins.

(that's just deku times two, babey!)

inko, unconnected to her family as she seems, may never know if she had siblings or half-siblings. ochako's parents may never have known about ochako's biological relations.

this is a much weaker theory, but i think quirk singularity theory can make some sense of it. we have the original float quirk user, nana shimura. I don't think she is related in any way to inko or ochako, but her quirk helps demonstrate the generational growth of power. she was a hero before all might, meaning she's an earlier generation and had an arguably weaker quirk. but since she was a hero, she honed her quirk so that it comes across as incredibly strong, however she seems to have only been able to float herself, not objects or people.

float quirk user number two, inko midoriya, who can float small objects toward herself. she's the next generation after nana, so her quirk is still kind of weak, and in fact looks incredibly weak compared to nana's and ochako's quirks. inko is a nobody, not a hero, just deku's mom. she had no reason to hone her quirk. who knows? maybe if she'd gone on to be a hero, she could float entire buildings if she wanted to.

float quirk user three, ochako uraraka. ochako can float objects AND herself. she's a hero and a strategist, and incredibly strong despite being 16. she can float pieces of buildings and people and herself all at once. she's a hero. she's powerful. she's thoughtful & kind, yet willful and strong. she's the ultimate culmination of the other floatation quirks as well as inko & nana's personalities. but since we were introduced to these three float quirks all out of order, it's difficult to see the exponential power growth that happens each successive generation.

I don't think that ochako's ever going to be a major player in the end of all for one, or even the plot overall, but i think the THEME of ochako being the ultimate floatation hero in the series is a major player in the final story. ochako REPRESENTS the singularity. the generation after ochako will be so strong, perhaps her descendants would be able to negate all gravity in the vicinity, maybe on the planet. who knows! even if ochako isn't related to deku, let's say dechako happens, they have babies. that's a lot of float quirk in one couple! their kids are gonna have no bones! no muscle development because they never have to fight gravity! ochako's existence represents such a huge, yet nearly invisible thematic element of bnha.

tldr: ochako looks exactly like inko and has a cumulative float quirk reminiscent of both inko & nana, and i suspect the parallels between the three is deliberate for some reason. i just think that's neat.

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johannesviii · 3 years

Text

This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don’t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out

#long post #shaman king #spoilers #mild gore in written form at some point

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purple-dahlias · 3 years

Note

“What’s the point?” for recovering!au?

thank you for the request! sorry this has taken such a long time to get out, but it’s here now!

trigger warning for eating disorders, relapse and hospitals

“You heading for the OR?” Connor asks, falling into step beside Ava as they exit the lifts together.

“Yep,” confirms Ava. “Got another CABG scheduled. Been almost practically back to back all afternoon. How about you?”

“Surprisingly, I’m free now. Patient cancellation.”

“Lucky you,” Ava grins as her phone pings in her pocket.

Taking it out, her eyes scan the notification, smile dying on her lips.

“Ava?” Connor asks, concern filling his voice as he eyes the expression on Ava’s face.

“It’s Sarah,” she manages, the words heavy in her mouth. “She collapsed in the ED.”

“Again?” Connor remembers the last time this happened, a little over four months ago.

Ava nods, knowing exactly what Connor is thinking. “I have to go,” she says finally. “Could you—“

Connor doesn’t let her finish her sentence.

“Go,” he says, placing a hand over her shoulder. “I’ll take your surgery.”

“Thank you,” Ava whispers, gratitude in her eyes as Connor waves her thanks away, nudging her gently back in the direction of the lifts.

“Let me know how she’s doing, yeah?” She hears him call as she steps into the lift, anxiety filling every inch of her.

The last three or so weeks had been insanely busy, for both Ava and Sarah, what with the way their shifts had worked out. It had meant in the end the two had always ended up missing each other, with one leaving as the other arrived, or one returning when the other was preparing to go. And with that, there had been little communication, other than perhaps a passing hello in the corridor, a kiss goodbye, or a hug before having to get out of bed at some ungodly hour. So having this knowledge, and with what she had just learnt, Ava knew this was a red flag. She knows almost exactly why Sarah had collapsed, and it’s hard for her not to blame herself.

Maybe, she thinks, if she had made more of an effort to ask, had paid more attention, had passed over some of her surgeries or post-ops to Connor, anything so that she could have been there more, she might have seen the signs.

She hopes, oh how she hopes she is wrong, and that this is completely unrelated, and that she is blowing this out of proportion, that there is some other, alternative reason.

But she just can’t shake the sick feeling that pools in her stomach as she exits the lifts beyond the Emergency Department.

She’s wracking her brain, trying to think of any rhyme or reason why this could have happened, if indeed it is what she thinks it is: the thought she just can’t seem to rid her mind of, the one that she keeps coming back to.

“Where is she, Maggie?” Ava asks, on seeing the charge nurse.

“Treatment four,” she hears, and doesn’t stick around for any more, heading straight there, heart beating at what she knows is well beyond the normal rate.

Ava pulls back the curtain to find April adjusting an IV line, while Natalie scrolls through what must be Sarah’s test results on her iPad, concern written across her face.

But her eyes fall on Sarah, lying there, looking so small and frail in her hospital gown.

“What happened?” Ava demands, and April leads her outside, just beyond the curtain, with Natalie following.

“Natalie called her down for a consult. Things were okay until she collapsed right there in front of the patient. Scared us all half to death,” April informs her softly.

“You might want to see these,” Natalie says, and Ava doesn’t miss the sadness in her tone as Natalie hands her the tablet.

It’s just what she had thought they would show, and Ava shakes her head, blinking back tears as she sees how much damage had been done, how much progress had been reversed in just 3 short weeks.

“According to her charts it looks like she’s missed her last two appointments with Dr Richardson. Did you know things were bad with her?” Natalie asks, a hand to Ava’s shoulder, and Ava feels like the worst person in the world.

“No,” she hears herself say, though it doesn’t sound at all like her voice.

This is all your fault. If you had paid more attention, this wouldn’t have happened.

“Ava,” she hears Natalie, noting how the doctor had switched to the voice she often heard her use with paediatric patients. “None of this is your fault.”

It’s as though she can read her mind.

“But it is. Sarah is supposed to be my responsibility,” Ava hates the way her voice sounds, broken, as she runs a hand through her hair.

“Some things you can’t control,” April says beside her. Ava knows she means well, but it’s all just wrong and backwards. Because for Sarah, this was all about control. Ironic, really.

“For now,” Natalie begins, that coaxing voice back, “you should just be with her.”

Ava just nods, letting the curtain fall behind her as April and Natalie take their leave.

She takes a shuddering breath and drags the stool to Sarah’s bedside, where she sits, taking hold of the thin, limp hand of her girlfriend.

“Ava?” Comes a voice, weak beside her, and Ava swears that if she wasn’t a cardiothoracic surgeon, she would have thought her heart had stopped.

“I’m right here, Sarah,” Ava tells her, squeezing her hand gently.

“Where am I?” Sarah asks, a little groggily.

“In the ED. April said you fainted.”

“Oh,” returns Sarah, her voice small, panic filling her face as she notices the IV line in her hand.

“Hey, hey, relax,” Ava croons, taking hold of both Sarah’s hands when she sees how distressed she is. “It’s just some fluids to help give you your strength back. You need them, okay bokkie,” Ava continues, using the pet name.

“No, I don’t! What’s the point?” Sarah cries out, every word punctuated with an agony that pierces Ava’s very soul.

“Nothing I do will work and I’m just so tired. I’m a psychiatrist. I know this is bad! I shouldn’t be having this problem. Ava you know I try, but…” Sarah trails off, and Ava can’t help but notice the way Sarah runs a finger over her clavicle, a subconscious habit she had.

“Sarah, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you,” Ava begins after a pause. “But—“

“Then don’t,” Sarah grits out, harshly, cutting Ava off. “Please, Ava, just go,” Sarah practically begs, bunching up the thin bed sheets and turning to face away from her.

Ava sits there, a few moments longer, until it becomes clear that this won’t be going anywhere, that Sarah isn’t ready to talk.

Twisting her hands, she lets out a sigh she hopes is mostly silent.

“Okay,” she says, willing the heaviness in her voice not to be too pronounced. Ava stands and moves to adjust Sarah’s pillow just how she likes it, the only way she can think of right now to give Sarah a little more comfort. “But Sarah,” Ava gently tells her, “I’m here for you, okay. No matter what. Please know that.”

There’s no response. Not even a shift in the bedsheets. And if the machine monitoring Sarah’s vitals wasn’t still beeping quietly in the background, well, Ava doesn’t want to give much rise to that particular thought.

With a final kiss to the top of Sarah’s head, a last attempt to let her know she is here, Ava turns to leave, drawing the curtains back around Sarah.

“Well?” Natalie asks her from her position at the nursing station, breaking away from a conversation with Maggie.

Ava just shakes her head. She doesn’t know quite what to say. What does one say? Besides, Ava really doesn’t wan to have to talk right now. With anyone. All she can think about is how much she had let Sarah down. How she should have been paying attention. And now she couldn’t even get Sarah to talk, much less get to the bottom of what triggered this.

It’s windy up on the balcony, and the evening is drawing in as Ava stares out onto the city of Chicago, a hundred thousand lights twinkling below. There’s still no more word from Sarah herself. Only that Ava can gather loud and clear she wants to be left alone. Which is especially hard to know.

“Hey,” a voice says beside her, making Ava jump. The fact she didn’t even hear him coming is a telltale sign something is wrong. Ava normally never misses anything.

“Your CABG went off without a hitch,” he begins lightly, trying to gauge Ava’s mood.

“Wish I could say the same about other things,” Ava deadpans, staring off into the distance, her focus on nothing in particular.

“How’s Sarah?” Connor frowns, leaning against the railing.

“Nat messaged to say she’s being transferred up to a bed to stay overnight for observation. She still doesn’t want to see me.” It comes out a little cold, detached. And honestly, Ava’s just feeling more than a little numb right now, so that assessment it’s about right.

“She’ll come ‘round,” Connor assures, putting an arm around Ava, who leans into him.

“Ooh my ears are burning,” comes a familiar voice from behind.

“Oh, hey Nat,” Ava manages a weak, sort of washed-out smile.

“How are you holding up?”

How was she? How did one answer that? How was someone dealing with all of this supposed to be?

Connor’s phone buzzes, breaking the silence.

“It’s Latham,” he says, checking.

“You’d better go,” Ava tells him, grateful for the diversion.

“It’s gonna be okay, Aves. You’re gonna get through this. You both are.”

“Thanks,” Ava sniffs as Connor pulls her into a tight hug, wanting desperately to believe his every word.

And then he’s gone.

“How’s Sarah,” Ava asks, eyes trained on the spot Connor had just vacated. She’s almost afraid to hear the answer.

“Pretty much the same. I’ve paged Dr Charles though. I hope you don’t mind?”

Ava shakes her head sadly. “Maybe he’ll have better luck than me.”

“Oh, Ava,” Natalie hums, holding her close, up there on the balcony. She doesn’t even care that Nat is probably using some of the tactics she uses on kids down in the ED. Because all Ava wants to do is believe things will be okay.

“How about I drive you back to yours so we can grab some things for Sarah?” Natalie suggests, filling the silence, smoothing Ava’s hair.

Ava agrees with a small nod. That seems like a logical suggestion. And in any case, she’s not sure she should be driving herself anywhere right now.

“Great,” Natalie says softly, her arms still safely around Ava. “And Ava, I promise you: everything will work out. It may not seem like it right now, but it will.”

There’s a fierceness in her voice, and Ava just clings to her. She wants to believe her. Wants it to be true with her whole heart. Because it has to be.

#recovering!au #my aus #sarah reese #ava bekker #they're both going through it #connor rhodes #natalie manning #april sexton #chicago med #reesker #asks #buiscitsandbooks #mutuals #eating disorder tw #hospitals tw #tw ed #my writing

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wienerbarnes · 3 years

Text

On My Mind

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 1,490

Warnings: fluffy first date vibes, mentions about pregnancy and infertility, overall not angsty tho

A/N: sorry for the long wait yall! ive been super slumped with class and other organizations im apart of and work and yea :) thank yall for understanding<3

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

A metal finger pokes your side as you re rack the weights you’ve used during your workout in the gym. You look at Bucky through the window in front of you as he’s seemingly finished his own workout as well. The two of you don’t work out together, his routine that’s fit, for, well, a super soldier, is much too much for you, but you still arrive together and leave together.

“I have a surprise for you.” Bucky says, as he begins to walk backwards, encouraging you to walk with him.

“What’s that?” You ask as you approach the doors of the gym, exiting out into the hallway.

“I’m taking you out tonight.”

You giggle. Because the thought sounds hilarious. Until you realize he’s not laughing with you. “What are you talking about, Bucky?” You ask, smile dropping into a serious frown.

“It’s been over a year and a half since you’ve been here; over a year and a half since you’ve died. I think it’s time.” He tells you.

“Bucky, I don’t know. Don’t people follow you around? Take pictures? I can’t have my picture taken.” You tell him. The only person you really let take your picture is Bucky. You haven’t seen all of them, but you know he’s got hundreds of random pictures of your face in his camera roll. Some of them include him, some of them don’t, some are of you asleep, some are of you cooking, some are of you naked. Besides the point.

“Trust me. I’ve got the perfect spot. Dress cute for me tonight, yeah? You always do.”

…

It takes what feels like hours for you to decide what to wear. What does cute mean? Fancy? Casual? Business casual? Should you wear colors? Bucky wouldn’t take you somewhere where you can’t wear colors.

You decide on a dark green midi dress, small yellow and burgundy flowers covering the dress in a pattern. The thin straps sit on your shoulders and your tattooed leg slips through the slit on the side as you slip on a pair of brown platforms. Atop you slip on what’s probably the only black piece of clothing you own besides what’s been given to you here at the tower; a black denim jacket, one that Bucky got for you because you gave him that bright orange top that one time and it was time you have something of his style.

You almost regret shaving your head realizing as you look in the mirror just how much attention is now brought to yourself. As if dating Bucky Barnes wasn’t enough.

Sooner than you’d hoped, there’s a knock on your door and Bucky’s arrived, a casual dark button down shirt tucked into black slacks, leather shoes on his feet and he looks delicious. A mix of the young man from the 40’s and the modern soldier of today. The brooding, intimidating man wearing slightly high waisted slacks that are only missing a pair of suspenders. Goth and gentlemanly all the same.

You don’t miss the large bouquet of flowers in his hands, flowers of every shape and color and you gasp in surprise. “Did you think I wouldn’t bring my date flowers on our first date? You look beautiful. As always. Are you just about ready?” He tells you confidently, suaveness dripping from his voice as he looks at you lovingly. He can tell you’re nervous by the way your clammy hands take the flowers and you frantically look for a vase to put them in. But he’s not nervous. He actually doesn’t think he’s been this excited to take a girl out, ever. Maybe it’s been a while, but he thinks it has more to do with the fact that it’s you he’s going out with.

The drive to the small restaurant isn’t long, and on the way Bucky explains to you the small Italian place he grew to love as a teenager, the restaurant now run by the grandchildren of the original owners.

Upon entering the restaurant, smells of garlic and basil flood your nostrils and look around to see the place… empty. There’s only one other small family in the corner of the room, a younger couple with a child that couldn’t be older than five or six.

A teenage waitress leads the two of you to a table far enough away from the other family for some privacy and you have to ask Bucky if this place is actually as good as he says it is.

He laughs, “The place is just more popular for takeout, is all. Trust me, baby.” You can’t argue after being called the sweet pet name as you take your eyes off your boyfriend to skim down the menu.

Soon enough orders are placed and the two of you enjoy a comfortable silence, munching on the bread that was brought to the table. A loud, joyful giggle draws your eyes to the other family in the room, parents looking lovingly at their child as they seemingly recount some story of their day.

Multiple thoughts run through your head watching the little girl, her smooth skin, thick hair put up in tiny pigtails, her body covered in a pair of pink overalls and a glittery top underneath. Something your kid would be dressed in. Your kid.

Bucky’s words interrupt your thoughts but not your stare, “Do you ever think about it?”

“Think about what?” You reply, watching the girl rip at the bread in her small hands, sticking pieces of the soft middle bit in her mouth as she continues talking.

“Having a kid.”

You pause before answering truthfully, “Never. Until right now.”

“Never? At all?”

You finally pull away your stare before you’re caught, “Well, no one really thinks about kids when they're a teenager. And even then, I was poor growing up, so all I saw when thinking about a baby is how much I couldn’t afford one. And then when I joined the Marines, I figured… I’d die. Die with some honor for some stupid cause and that’d be it. And then in Hydra, well, I really thought I’d die there. And then when I got out… I suppose I never thought that I actually do have the chance now. I mean I have the safety of the tower, I have a full fridge at all times, access to medical care…” You trail off.

“I shouldn’t get ahead of myself; I’m not even sure I can have kids what with all that Hydra did to me - all the shit they pumped into me.” You pick at a piece of bread in the basket in front of you, not noticing the color drain from Bucky’s face.

You brought up a fear in him he never thought about. Can he have kids? Did the serum affect him in that aspect? If he did get someone pregnant, would the baby survive? With some kind of serum in them from him? He remembers hearing about so many other soldiers being given the serum and dying, not being able to handle the chemical changes. If grown men and healthy soldiers died from it, how could a baby survive?

“Do you?” You break his thoughts.

“Do I, what?” He asks, trying to mask the sudden fear from showing on his face.

“Think about it?”

“Constantly. I have since I was a kid.” He tells you, and your mouth drops in amused shock.

“A kid?!” He’s glad you seem to be past the thought of not being able to have kids because your carefree smile and amusement at the thought of ten year old Bucky taking care of his younger sister and wanting a kid of his own is enough to calm him down.

“I took care of my sister all the time. I think I liked her more than she liked me, I was always trying to drag her to hang out with me, teach her stuff, and she always just wanted to play with her dolls.” He laughs, thinking of all the time his little sister would grow annoyed at all the time he wanted to spend with her.

The smile on your face is bright as you watch him recount his childhood memory, but he sees the slight sadness in your eyes; he knows you were an only child. The food arrives and interrupts him before he can say anything about it, Thank you’s echoing from the couple as two plates of lasagna are placed in front of them.

A few minutes of silence goes by as the two of you begin eating away at the full plate of pasta and meat sauce. “For the record, I think you’d make the most fantastic mother.” Bucky tells you, and you pause the fork in the air and look up at him, not expecting him to tell you that.

“Thanks.” You tell him simply, appreciating the comment more than you think he’ll ever know.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel #bucky barnes oneshot #awwwwww #babes

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yeojaa · 3 years

Note

one of the first things ive ever read of yours was the 'read 6:45' it made me bawl my eyes out during 12 am 😭 could i please request a follow up drabble for it?

[ read "i love you.” read: 6:45 pm ]

pairing. jjk x f!reader. rating. general. tags. frustrating among us play, kook being cute, etc. wc. 0.9k. beta reader. n/a. author note. i’m so sorry this is so late but i hope you enjoy this! i wanted to keep it kind of light and silly, since the original was... sad and then silly? also, this was heavily inspired by this twitter post.

Dating Jungkook is kind of like free-falling from an airplane. (Not that you’ve ever done that.) It’s exhilarating and fun and sometimes, downright terrifying. You suppose it comes with the territory of being with someone like him - effortlessly cool, collected, capable of turning every no into a yes.

You’d seen it in action during your time as friends. Watched him woo women and dunk on dudes, somehow scrap an A in a class you both attended where you’d barely gotten a B. (You’re still a little salty about that.) He’d even, somehow, wormed his way into your favourite bartender’s heart, on speed dial any time you and your girlfriends had a little too much fun. Really - just do things you’d formerly thought impossible and with that dumbass grin on his face, confidence rolling off him in waves.

You really shouldn’t have expected you’d fare any better, be able to deny him when so many others had failed.

“Babe. Babe.” There’s that goofy smile, bunny toothed and adorable. “C’mon— it’ll be funny.”

You level him with a look in your mirror - one that screams no, it’s not - but he just keeps beaming at you in the reflection, eyes so sparkly you want to tear your own hair out. “Maybe to you,” you retort, slicking brow gel on, mouth rounded in a little ‘o’.

“No! To everyone!” Your boyfriend is insistent, curling across your back like drapery, chin resting upon your shoulder. He bats his lashes at you, sways you back and forth in his arms.

“A third imposter is so stupid.” Also, because you’re bad at impostering as is. (You always forget which room is where and you can never answer when people ask which fake tasks you’ve been doing.) You don’t think you could properly third imposter if you tried. “Just win the old-fashioned way, you dummy.” Not like Jungkook isn’t already stupidly good at fooling everyone, going so far as to admit he was the imposter and yet somehow still win.

“But it’s funny!” Which you suppose is what it comes down to. Your boyfriend doesn’t particularly care about winning - it’ll likely happen anyway - but he wants to put your friend group through hell. Make them all doubt each other as he cackles maliciously in the background.

(Because he does that. Laughs so long and hard it’s embarrassing, arms thrown around his head as he revels in the chaos he’s unleashed.)

“Whatever.” It’s a lost cause. Once he has his mind set on something, it’s nearly impossible to turn him off the idea. Whether it’s craving corn pizza at 3 AM, forcing everyone to try the bald head Snapchat filter, or doubling his one-rep squat max - he’s as stubborn as an ox.

“Are you kidding me!”

You watch in horror - anger, exasperation - as your little blue character gets shot through the head, the eggplant imposter tearing off in the opposite direction. You don’t know the map well enough to know how likely it is your body will be found or how easily someone will figure out who the murderer is. Are there cams on this map? (God, you really need to pay better attention when you play.)

All you know is frustration, glare furrowing your brows.

Somewhere, past the closed door of his bedroom, you hear Jungkook laughing. He’s like Ed the hyena, snickering loudly, clearly pleased. Then your body is reported. By your boyfriend. Your purple-suit wearing boyfriend.

(He’s with Taehyung, dressed in green with a little companion chasing after him.)

“Who killed my girlfriend?!” He has the audacity to sound devastated, voice pitching three octaves as he all but shouts into his headset.

There’s a chorus of not me’s from the group, people discussing among themselves who could’ve possibly killed you in cold blood - left you to rot in the tree room. (That’s what it’s called, right?) No one even seems to notice how quiet Jungkook is now, likely tapping the tips of his fingers together like an evil genius.

You want to scream, shout, send him straight to the shadow realm. You cannot believe he’s getting away with this, playing the part of an indignant boyfriend so well. It’s absurd, really.

“I can clear JK. He was with me.” Of course Taehyung’s in on it. That, or he’s just as chaotic as his friend. (Both are believable.) You’ve seen the blond accuse everyone under the sun, playing third imposter better than the goddamn imposters themselves. There was something about him, his uncanny ability to cast doubt on anyone.

(Conversely, he could make anyone believe him. And by anyone, you meant Jimin. The two never turned against each other. Ever.)

“I didn’t see Jimin anywhere,” comes Yoongi’s slow drawl. It sounds like he’s just woken up from a nap, syllables rounded and sleepy. You wouldn’t be surprised if Jimin had been following after his hyung and Yoongi had simply been too tired to notice. Something something life of a bartender something.

“I saw Jimin across the map right as it happened.” There’s Namjoon, ever the reasonable one, humming thoughtfully. (Reasonable, but still suspicious. He was notoriously bad for drawing out votings, calling emergency meetings again because he hadn’t had a chance to consider every possibility.) “And he wasn’t near a vent, so I think he’s okay.” A pause, “but you never know.”

There’s a collective groan - Hoseok’s bubbling laughter cuts through it - and the next round begins.

#anon.eml #incoming.eml #work.zip #drabble.zip #jungkook.doc #bts au #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts drabble #bts jungkook #jungkook au #jungkook drabble #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you

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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

Text

21 Years in Another Life Submission

Mother! Mother! By the time I sent this, August 18, I have officially turned 18! I am now legal to drink beer, I can finally drink my icon 😌. I know it's usual tradition to give gifts to the birthday person but I wanted to do a reverse and give something to you and the community. And that is: The Prologue of my Isekai webnovel! I would much prefer if I could also give Chapter 1 but I am currently recovering from tonsilitis and whenever I am not feeling good, my body just makes me sleepy to try and recover

Here's the prologue for "21 Years in Another Life"! -🍺

"It seems you are doing fine Mr. Dante, I'll be back for another check later tonight",

I could only nod and let out a hum as a signal that I understood. The boring white walls of the hospital were something that I had grown accustomed to but still loathed in every sense. The heavyweight of my right hand had a plastic cast of sorts to keep it straight as the needle of the dextrose tube was put inside in one of my veins.

I turned my head to see the dextrose bag hung on the stainless steel IV stand. I watched the small drop that would come out of the bag into the small cylinder that would connect to the tube. I looked back into my life.

21 years of my life. The majority of them are in the hospital.

The sickly body that I was born with not only burdened me but also my parents. Money was no problem for us as my father was the CEO of a well-known company he worked for from the ground up but rather it was the taint in the reputation of the family name.

I was his eldest child but thankfully not his only child. I had younger siblings and all of them have very healthy bodies.

And that is good.

I was about to close my eyes to sleep, not having the mood to read a book or even watch television until, "Oh, should we visit another time?", I tilted my head to the side as I saw my mother enter with my youngest brother, the baby of the family. "No, I was just looking to past the time", I said as my brother walked his way to the side of the bed where my free hand was. That was odd, he usually skips towards me.

I noticed the wide smile that was plastered on his face and the way how his hands were behind his back. "Big brother! I have a surprise!", He said excitedly obviously vibrating with joy, I inhaled a bit to brace myself and noticed the faint natural scent of flowers suddenly in the room.

"What do you have there?", I asked and he presented with three stalks of Sunflowers tied together with a neat little white bow. "I thought you might like them, I asked the nice old couple down the street if I can have some for you", his eyes twinkled and I couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh of my own.

"Thank you", I whispered, touched deeply by the gesture "Mum? Can you put it in the empty vase, please?", My mother nodded as my baby brother gave the flowers to mum.

I sat up with using my dominant left hand as support while my brother removed his shoes. I pat down the spot next to me gently as he climbed up the bed, sitting snuggly beside me as I gave his forehead a gentle kiss.

"I'm gonna start growing my flowers so we don't have to buy anymore from the flower shop", he affirmed to himself as I raised a curious eyebrow towards him, "Oh, why is that?", I asked, already having a hunch as to why he would like to grow them.

"You never really liked store-bought flowers, you said they smell funny", he said as he tilted his head upwards, "Why is that?", He asked as I nodded, "It's not the flowers but more so the paper, there are times that the papers are scented quite strongly that smell of the flowers are not complimented as nicely as I would have liked", I explained to him as he let out an 'Ahhhh' of realization along with gentle nodding.

"Will dad come visit?", I turned towards mom as she finished putting the flowers in the vase, "I hope so, if the meeting ends on time he'll pick up your sister so they can visit you", She sat back down on the nearby sofa as I just nodded. "How are you doing?", I could only give her the usual half-sided smile that I would give whenever my younger siblings are around.

A smile that meant: I don't know how to feel.

My mother could only exhale and gave a gentle reassuring smile and a nod towards me. A smile and a nod that says: I know.

My parents and I don't tiptoe around the topic anymore as if I was a kid. This was a sad reality I grew up in and we just accepted it but we made sure to make the best out of every situation.

The knock at the door caught our attention as my brother was about to open the television. "Come in", My mother called out and the door creaked open and the familiar face of my younger sister peaked through, "Oh! Oh! Look dad! He's awake!", The door opened a bit more to reveal my younger sister and dad, he was holding a canvas under one arm as my sister's bag was slung over the other shoulder of his.

"Hey Kiddo, how you doin' ?", My dad put the bag and canvas down on top of the cabinet as he made his way next to my bed and then ruffled my hair. A comforting feeling, his hand on top of my head as a gentle head pat was enough to help me calm down after rigorous emotions went through me.

"I'm doing fine now, I assume the meeting went well?", I asked and he just nodded along with the usual hand gesture of facing his palm up and down in a sideways motion.

It went well with some people who need convincing, just the usual things then.

"Big brother! My tutor gave me the assignment to draw on a canvas today!", She bounced a bit on her feet before skipping towards where the canvas was put down. She run-walked towards my side as I peered towards the canvas.

It has no color yet just the rough outline of her whole drawing, it seems she will be drawing sunflowers and lots of them. "I didn't have time to finish my sketch since it was already time buuut!", She pointed towards the middle part of the canvas, "This is where you are supposed to be!", I nodded with a smile etching its way onto my lips. She was so excited about it.

"My tutor also said that giving sunflowers to someone means to bring joy to someone's day", she explained before adding, "And! And! I wanted to give you this painting when I finish it so you'll be happy every day", I just chuckled and ruffled her hair with my free hand and brought her in for a side hug.

"And I'll be planting sunflowers in the garden so when you get back back, you'll see it every day and we don't have to buy new ones from the shop", My brother exclaimed. I just gave a nod as we heard a knock on the door, my father creaked the door open and the familiar white doctor's coat peeked through. My dad looked back towards mother and she just nodded and went outside.

I gave a sigh and let my head plop down to the pillow. "Big brother? When can you come home?", My sister's tone was now quite solemn. I just shook my head, not wanting to give them more hope than necessary.

I don't like promises being broken so I rarely make promises that I can't keep.

And sadly, this is one of those times.

The bed shifted a bit until my younger siblings were curled up to each of my sides, I just sighed a bit. "How are you two holding up?", I asked.

"Ehh",

"Mnnggghhh",

They also we're not too sure of it. I let out a breath through my nose, "Remember what I told you guys before? About promises?", I asked.

"Try not to make promises you can't keep", my brother voiced out, his voice coming out meek. They realized I won't be coming home any time soon. We just laid there on the hospital bed.

Closing my eyes as different memories from the times back home came to the front of my mind.

- - -

"Big brother!!!!" The muffled voiced screamed from behind the door. A voice filled with glee, before I could even say the door was unlocked it had slammed right open revealing my younger sister carrying her new case filled with art materials.

I just gave her a big smile, I settled the book I was reading to my bedside table and she made her way towards me. I saw dad peeked through the doorway and put his pointer finger to his lips and proceeded to quietly go away.

Dad had bought Artemis new art materials without mom knowing.

"Big brother! Remember when I made a wish to the shooting star we saw?", She asked excitedly, she bounced a bit on her on feet and, "It came true?", I "guessed" and she nodded, her hair bouncing along with her.

"It came true! The star was also kind enough to also give me a new case!", She heaved the case on the bed and proceeded to open up the case. She pulled out the shelfs that can be easily retracted inside for more efficient compartments.

"Darling?", the door creaked open and we both looked up and saw Mom. She saw the art case that Artemis proudly displayed, mom could only gave a smile and a nod but I could feel her secret fury behind it. It was not directed at us but rather, "Have you two seen your father by any chance?", She asked.

"Nope", "No"

She just hummed and nodded her head a bit, "If you happened to see him, make sure to give him this face", Mom gestured to her unimpressed face with her half lidded eyes and a small frown. Before smiling once again and saying goodbye.

Dad was in a lot of trouble.

- - -

The noises of delight that came from the children as they exited the school gates was one that could be heard from the other side of the street. All of them eagerly excited to come home from school.

I waited just by the sides of the gate, waiting for my younger brother, Artem. I looked over through the crowd of children slowly pouring out of the doors and I just eagerly waited for him, "Need a seat, boy?", I looked behind me and the guard was nice enough to bring out an extra stool, "Thank you", he just gave a friendly wave of his hand and went back to his station while I sat down at the stool.

I pulled out my phone and recalled the phone call that me and Mom had that led up to me being the one picking up Artem for the day.

"Dante? Do you feel alright today?", Mom went straight to the point,

"Yeah, yeah, why'd you ask?",

"If it's alright, can you pick up Artem today for me?"

"I don't mind, why?",

"You'll see when you pick him up",

I patiently waited for my younger brother by the gates. "Brother? Brother!", I looked up and saw Artem running towards me in full speed. He stopped just shy in front of me as his whole body vibrated with excitement. He bit his bottom lip as he tried to hide his smile.

"Come on, we can chat about your day while we walk home", I ruffled his hair as he nodded. I waved goodbye to the guard and we were on our way. Artem had a skip in his step as he told me about his whole day at school.

The activities they did and I just listened intently.

- - - -

I groggily opened my eyes and saw my parents had ushered my siblings out of the bed, my mom was the first one to see me awake, "Had a nice nap?", She giggled and I nodded along, a smile gracing my lips. I noticed how the edges of her eyes were a bit red and how her nose had a specific red tint to it, an indication after crying.

What happened?

I looked over towards Dad and gave him a questioning look and he just mouthed me the word, 'Later'. I just nodded as my mom had brought out a tupperware filled with dinner. "Artemis, can you go to the desk and ask for some spare spoons?", My mom's tone was a bit hurried but my younger sister just nodded and left for the door

"Artem, how about you join your sister? Just don't go to far from her, no?", My mom ushered my brother out the door as well and soon enough it was just me and my parents left in the room. There was an akward silent at first and then

"Mom? Have you been crying?", I asked while sitting up and she just pursed her lips together before nodding followed by a choked sob. I patted the spot besides me and she sat down, they were some tears refusing to fall down. I opened my arms and she just tackled me into a hug, with every inhale she took was followed by a broken sob.

"You've...been...", She sobbed out as I rubbed circles at her back, "Doing...so...well", she choked out before trying to calm herself down. I just sat there and hugged her close, trying to help her calm down.

It seemed the doctor didn't give the good news they were hoping for.

The door creaked open and my mom pulled away, soon wiping away her tears with a handkerchief that my dad had given her. My younger siblings came inside with 5 spoons. "We got the spoons!", My brother exclaimed as they gave mom the untensils.

Mom opened the tupperware and there she had cooked some Beef Stroganoff, my favorite food. "It was your dad's idea to cook your favorite today", she said while dad let out an akward chuckle. "Well, since the doctor had said you won't be coming home anytime soon. I thought bringing you some of your favorite food would cheer you up and give you some break from the Hospital Food", I just smiled towards Dad and gave him a thank you.

It was just comfortable silence until they had to leave, visiting hours were now over and I just waved goodbye to them, with my younger siblings promising to annoy mom or dad to visit me tomorrow.

I just laughed at their response as dad ushered them out of the room. Mom gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead and a farewell to them both. Being left alone in the dim room isn't always a good feeling, especially in recent times.

I toss and turned a bit, trying to find a good spot to get back into napping. The window gave a good view of the sky, it's filled with stars tonight. All of them twinkling individually, I let out a soft sigh before closing my eyes in trying to find a good nap.

- - - -

My eyes snapped open, the heaviness that my body felt before was now gone. I was somewhere else other than the hospital room I was admitted in.

I looked around, I am surrounded by twinkling stars with the ground beneath rippling under my feet with every movement I took.

"My, a young one already here?", I turned around and was met with a masked woman, she was holding a pocket notebook and a stamp in another hand. She looked up and tilted her head a bit to the side.

"You, Mister, are currently in the Realm of Stars" she started as she walked towards me, to ground rippling underneath her feet with every step she took. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and she stopped right in front of me.

She looked up towards me and was faced with her, "This is the realm where the soul journeys to their resting place", she added before looking through her notebook again and flipping through some pages.

Am I dead?

"Ah, here it is. We usually don't meddle with the laws of life but this is an exception", she hums before taking a step back.

"I'll be frank with you mister, if given the chance to live again...", She gestured with her hands, "How long would you like to live again?", She asked and I was flabbergasted with the sudden question. I gulped once more and I answered, "Another 21 years would be great", I replied to her and she looked at the notebook before nodding.

"Interesting, even if the life you were give doesn't have a clean start?", She asked and I just tilted my head a bit to the side, curious "What do you mean by that?", I asked as she materialized away the stamp and notebook she was holding.

"Let me reiterate again, if given the chance would you live again for 21 years but the body already has a history of living?", She asked and I just nodded, unsure still of her words. All I got was that I get another chance of living for another 21 years.

"Alright then, perfect!", She exclaimed whilst clasping her hand together, "We currently have a body that needs a soul but the old one had already left it and it isn't his time to visit the Realm of Stars", she sighed before a couple of stars started surrounding my whole figure.

"I wish you luck with your new life", she waved goodbye before adding another.

"I'll see you again when your 21 years are finished"

- - - -

My head hurts badly, it was dark all around as I tried to find the feeling in my "body" again.

"Call the doctor!",

Huh? Am I in a hospital again.

"Quickly, we must get his majesty back to the castle before any stragglers from the enemy line comes for us!"

Wait, wait, wait, majesty? stragglers? enemy lines? Did this body participated in a war or something.

What did I get into now?

"Don't worry your majesty, we will get you back safely to the castle", Hold on. Are they talking to me?

What is going on?! I should have asked that masked lady with some questions before agreeing.

Whatever the case, I should take this opportunity to have another 21 years to my life even if I didn't get a clean start again.

I should try to wake up by now.

------------------------------------------

YOOOO NIGHTINGALE SKGBAKJGB FIRST OF ALL HAPPY LEGAL AGE DAY!! YOU CAN NOW BE LEGALLY ARRESTED, I'M SO PROUD AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THAT DELISH BEVERAGE!!

SECOND OF ALL HOLY SHIT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS, NOT EVEN THE LENGTH I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A SNEAK PEEK! I LIKE IT, THE TRANSITIONS ARE NICELY PLACED WITH A BALANCE OF NARRATIVE AND DIALOGUE, YOU'RE DOING GOOD AND I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER! FOR YOUR WEBNOVEL AND YOUR TONSILS!!

#exiled community #submission #orginal content #writernightingale

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frillshark-fr · 3 years

Note

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort.

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire! but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

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2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr! Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void.

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything! people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!!

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

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okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

#if anyone is interested i can make a post about my process for finding new dragon pairs?#i’d just include it here but this post is long enough as it is oo;;#Anonymous

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mylovelies-docx · 3 years

Text

Kid Krow - Comfort Crowd

Part 6!

A/N: We finally find out what promise Y/N made and couldn’t keep.

Chapter warnings: angst (as always), and like one paragraph of very vague smut.

As always, listen to the song here!

And read the story on AO3 here!

Taglist: @maraudersandco @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi @hkmultifandom @spider-starry @ashleykaiba @mayangel19

Word count: 3.2k (a long boy!)

When you stormed out of the cockpit, Mille, Zalos, and Arle refused to look at you. You couldn’t blame them; you looked like hell. Zorii sat sharpening a blade and ticked her head towards the cockpit, asking silently if you wanted her to deal with Poe. You sniffed hard, scrubbed at your eyes, shook your head, and practically ran to your quarters.

You pleaded with the universe to just make Poe sit still and not follow you. You could not handle another moment with him, or else you would explode. Or more specifically, your heart would explode and you would die a slow, agonized death. All because of Poe kriffing Dameron and his stupid, stupid , friendship.

You made your way through the corridors, leaning heavily against the walls in order to not fall over in your pursuit of a private downward spiral.

Eventually you made it to your door and entered your code. The door slid open and you rushed inside, closing it behind you as fast as you could so you could be alone. But going where so many memories of Poe lived had been a mistake. Being alone with your thoughts and emotions was just too much.

It was all too much.

With a shattered scream, you broke down. Every last piece of your heart was wrecked and crushed and ripped apart until it was unrecognizable. And still, this burning, unending pain would not. Go. Away!

Outside, you heard a raised voice. Poe. Saying something about needing to talk, to explain, to apologize. But then muffled, indistinct words of warning from Zorii. You knew that Zorii would not let Poe anywhere near you after what had just happened and how upset she knew you were.

Zorii walked inside, her lithe frame seemed to be held together by rage alone. She hadn’t even bothered to knock or ask if you wanted someone around. But regardless, she was now your best friend, and you just needed company now.

“I will refrain from speaking too much on it, but I do need to emphasize how much I despise that man for everything he’s done to you,” she explained, and settled on your cot.

You wheezed out a humourless laugh. You were numb, through and through, after the havoc that had occurred over your last two encounters with Poe.

Zorii was still angry, but she opened her arms to you for comfort anyway. The look on her face and in her manners spoke of softness in spite of her fury, and it broke whatever respite your breakdown had afforded you. A cry exploded from between your lips, slamming into the walls of your quarters and deafening you. It was the sound of anguish and pain and betrayal that was ripped straight from your heart.

You hadn’t felt so miserable and pitiful in all your life: those stupid kids from back home could never have made you feel as bad as Poe has.

Zorii opened her arms wider and you ran to her. You clutched at her waist, burying your face in her stomach and just sobbed . Sobbed for the best and only friend that you had had for years before Zorii came along. Sobbed for the stupid, love-sick fool that couldn’t take a fucking hint and get over her best friend that never saw anything in her anyway.

Sobbed for yourself. Your pitiful, sad excuse of a self.

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine,” you muttered over and over again in hopes of getting your pain under control. “I don’t really need him. I don’t. I don’t…”

She sighed, rubbing soothing circles into your back. “ You’ve said that lie already . We both know what a load of bantha crap it is.”

You repeat yourself over and over again, trying to drive it through your own skull instead of hers.

“Look,” Zorii sighed once again, “I know you loved him. As more than a best friend.” You cringed against her, ashamed that Zorii had to find out how you felt about the man she had been sleeping with. “And trust me, I understand the appeal all too well. I wouldn’t have started anything up with him if I had known how you felt. And to give credits where credits are due, you hid it really well; I had no idea until last week.”

You still couldn’t believe that Poe had said that to you in front of Zorii, remembering how terrible you had felt about it and how profusely you had apologized to Zorii once she had come to check on you that night.

“I overheard your holo-vid with Kes the other night as well,” Zorii admitted, wincing at her own invasion of your privacy. You were too overwhelmed to tell her you really didn’t mind.

“He mentioned some force tree or something? I don’t really know what you had said before that, but he mentioned that and you went quiet. I’ll admit that I was intrigued and maybe wandered closer to your door than I intended to.”

Her voice went soft after that.

“But then I heard you mention that he knew: what who knew, at that point, I wasn’t sure. But you went on to explain how you had felt so pretty dressed up in Shara Bey’s dress and how you had prepared a whole speech. At that point, I figured you were talking about Poe.”

You closed your eyes against her and tried hard to push the memory away.

***

It was a lovely day on Yavin IV, and the big, gnarly-rooted force tree near the Dameron’s household was a brilliant green in the midday glow. The wind was whispering through the jungle, and all the creatures that made it their home seemed to be singing along to some unspoken melody. Just for you.

And for Poe, whenever he decided to show up.

You were all nerves. Sweat under your arms, a racing heart, and clammy hands: always the best look for confessing your love to someone.

You and Poe had returned home to Yavin last month after being away for a few years. Your group had had a close call on the last run, and you begged Poe to come with you to see Kes and your gran.

Your gran couldn’t care less that you hadn’t been home, but Kes was ecstatic that you guys had come back to see him.

Poe had gone to the market to pick up some snacks for the picnic Kes told him you had planned. Poe just didn’t know that it was supposed to be a date for the two of you, and Kes wasn’t going to spoil the surprise.

You were busy getting ready when Kes presented you with the most beautiful dress you had ever seen from Shara Bey’s closet. He was adamant that you wore that particular dress, since it was the one he loved most on her. Your emotions were already bubbling over from anxiety, but the look on Kes’s face when he looked at the dress broke your heart. You could see that he was reliving a memory of him and Shara Bey, and you just couldn’t break the spell that it had over him, so you sat quietly.

He eventually resurfaced and left you alone to finish your routine, all the while insisting that you’d be his official daughter sooner or later. Your smile was so big that it hurt your cheeks.

You arrived at the tree and started to set up the blanket and pillows that you had brought from the Dameron household. The blanket was spread out in the flattest nook between roots, and the pillows were propped up against the trunk. You took your place among the pillows and waited.

And waited.

Admittedly, Poe was prone to getting carried away with conversations between himself and the vendors, but that particular outing seemed to last forever in your mind. You knew why later, but at that point in time, you were convinced that Poe felt something for you and would return for you soon.

You knew that he felt something for you; on all your spice runs, he begged you to stay inside the ship and be safe, he brought you back pretty trinkets that he said reminded him of you, and he was always flirting.

Always.

The nickname he gave you? Princess? Absolutely flirtatious. The hugs before and after he left the ship? Obviously an excuse to be close to you. The little winks he’d send over the fire at you and all the inside jokes you two had? Come on! It was all right there. And Kes agreed! So, you two devised this little set up so that you could finally confess to Poe.

Even with only the progression of Yavin Prime to get a rough estimate of time’s passage, it still took Poe entirely too long to find you. When he finally showed up, you had fallen into a light sleep.

“Where’s dad?” Poe asked, setting down a basket with absolutely nothing in it. He plopped down right beside it, startling you awake.

“Where are our picnic supplies?” You countered, rubbing your eyes and feeling nauseous and disoriented after your impromptu nap.

He lifted his hands in the air as if to say “what can you do” and grunted. “Everyone had packed up by the time I got there. Why isn’t dad out here with us? Did he go back to the house to grab something?” His nonchalance and lack of apology really ate away at your resolve to profess your love to him. You wanted to know what took him so long before you said anything about your feelings.

“No, no he never came out here,” you explained. “Why did it take you so long to get to the market? You left hours ago -- the sun’s going down.” You were wringing your hands in your lap, nervous about what his answer could be.

“I was just catching up with someone; nothing to worry your beautiful head about.” When he said that, he had smoothed over the top of your head like a cherished and beloved friend. “It’s a good thing for us, I promise,” he winked. You were eating it all up like you were starved for affection.

How tragic.

You quickly grasped his hand before you lost all nerve. You kept it between your palms, drawing patterns on the back of it that kept your eyes down and away from his questioning gaze and adorable, slightly confused smile.

The future opened up bright and wonderful before you: your mutual affections coming out in the open and that long-awaited first kiss. Stars , you had been fantasizing about Poe’s lips for more than half of your life at that point. And his hands. His hands! Maker, if they would just glide over your skin and caress you like you had pictured for years, you would die a happy woman. And you’d thread your hands through those beautiful curls at the nape of his neck and tug just a little bit, until he groaned like you had always heard in your dreams. You would move together, right on that blanket under the force tree you and Poe had always loved. You would come apart in the most delicious way, panting and crying, with his mother’s ring dangling from the chain around his neck and nestling itself into the hollow of your throat. And then he would grind into you one final time and just pour his affections into your neck and mouth for safe keeping.

How goddamn tragic it all turned out to be .

“I need to tell you something,” you whispered, looking up through your eyelashes at him. He grinned, seeming just as excited and nervous as you were.

“Me too. I’ve been dying to tell you something for days now!” He wiggled where he sat next to you, scooting as close as he could and touching your foreheads together, like you were about to share secrets that were only meant for the two of you.

“You first,” you said, breathless. You couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

“No, no. You had something to say first, so you go ahead.” Poe had still been grinning at you, the happiest you had seen him in a while.

“How about we say it together?” You countered, giving his hand a little squeeze in anticipation.

“Okay, on the count of three,” he began.

“One…” you said together.

“Two…” you continued.

“Three!” You shut your eyes.

“I love you,” -- “Zorii and I are together,”

Silence. Your eyes were still shut, but now you were holding them so tightly that shapes were floating behind your eyelids. Poe pulled his hand from yours.

“What?” He asked, sounding confused and slightly wounded. Like he couldn’t believe that you had the nerve to say that out loud and ruin everything .

“Don’t,” you began, turning your head down and willing your heart to stop its frantic pace in your chest. “I – I didn’t know… I thought…” you trailed off, unsure what to say to fix the mess that you had created.

“(Y/N), do—do you love me? As more than a friend?” He grabbed your chin and forced you to meet his baffled gaze. You couldn’t think straight at that point, so you said the first thing that had popped in your mind.

“Yes, of course I do.”

Stupid girl.

“Oh, princess.” He released your chin and sat back, resting against the pillows like he was exhausted and didn’t have the energy to deal with the situation any longer. “I’m sorry if I ever did anything to lead you on; I just thought we were friends. I mean, we both see other people, and I’ve never felt that way about you so I didn’t think you did either.”

He could not have said anything worse to you in that moment, could not have said anything that sucked all the warmth from your body any faster than that had.

Okay, (Y/N), just breathe. Think of a way out of this, you begged your frazzled mind. Anything would be better than the silence stretching between you at that point.

“I guess… I got some things confused. I’m sorry.” And now you were that little girl again, apologizing for things out of your control and no fault of your own.

You felt small again, insignificant and alone. A floating pile of junk in the vacuum of space, with no planet in sight and no answers to your distress calls.

Poe could see you spiraling, he had known you long enough to recognize the signs.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, princess, we’ll figure this out,” he murmured, coming closer to you once again. He arranged the pillows so that he could lay back with you on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and muttered soothing words, trying to calm you down and bring you back to him. Like he had done so many times before.

“No, there’s nothin’ to figure out; this is on me. Just give me some time and I’ll get over it.” You hadn’t gotten over it in all the years you had loved him-- truly loved him-- but you had vowed to figure it out, and quickly, so that you could stop feeling like that. “I promise I’ll get over it,” you said into the fist that was curled next to your face on his chest.

You closed your eyes and tried not to focus too hard on how good he felt underneath you like that. How intimate it was, how much it reminded you of the outcome of every daydream you had had.

How you knew that it was probably how he and Zorii spent their nights together now...

***

“Kes didn’t know how that day turned out because Poe and I fell asleep outside. I was too embarrassed to face him that next mornin’, so I sent Poe back to tell him we got an urgent message and had to leave. I don’t know exactly what they said to each other, but Poe looked sad when he came back and I didn’t wanna know.” The confession slipped through your lips, chapped from all the salty tears that you had cried into Zorii’s tunic.

“Oh, (Y/N). I’m so, so sorry. He was on a call with me that evening. I had no idea you were waiting on him; he just mentioned you all were going on a picnic and that his dad could keep you company for a while.” Her hands clenched against your back, as if trying to protect from a hurt that had already passed and done its damage.

“That boy wouldn’t know a Gungan from an Ewok if they were both standing in front of him. The only reason we ever got together was because I made the first move.” Her hands now continued their previous path of soothing circles, hoping to make up for the pain that she unintentionally caused not so long ago.

It amazed you how drastically things could change in such a short amount of time.

“It’s alright, Zorii, I’m not mad at you. I’m just angry at myself. Always at myself. For bein’ too slow, too emotional, too much and never enough at the same time.” You were defeated and exhausted, no longer able to keep even an ember of your earlier fire alive.

“I will not tolerate you speaking about my best friend that way; she is a wonderful person, and the best damn pilot we’ve ever had. She doesn’t deserve to be treated this way,” Zorii chided, having pushed you away from her and giving you a stern look.

You returned something resembling a smile.

You looked back to her lap where you had just spent an indeterminate amount of time; the white fabric covering her stomach was completely transparent.

“Oh Rii, I’m sorry about your clothes,” you mumbled, trying to dry it with the sleeves of your outfit. It did no good.

“I don’t really mind; I like my shirts soggy,” she said, deadpan.

This time, a real laugh bubbled up from your throat. You were immensely grateful you had a friend like her.

______

For months after Poe’s departure, you kept a smile on your shoulders until you were sweaty; begging on your knees for somebody to come and help you when it was too much to carry. Zorii did her best, but no one could replace the comfort and happiness you had once found in Poe. You eventually stopped asking for help and pretended to have moved on.

But time passes, and past hurts are less painful. Especially when you don’t think about them.

You had seen the missed messages from Poe in those early days. Every time your comm buzzed, the despair you felt over your situation returned tenfold, and the only option was to throw the device in a forgotten corner and let it die -- just like your feelings.

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe x reader #poe dameron/reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x female reader #star wars #star wars fan fiction #sequel trilogy #Kid Krow (A Poe Dameron Story)

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slowlydrowningme · 4 years

Text

Under the Bright but Faded Lights

Title: Under the Bright but Faded Lights

Rating: T

Word Count: 1546

Warnings: Description of kidnapping and injury, minor mentions of blood and violence

Pairing: Damian x fem!reader

Prompt: 18 and 22 for Damian Wayne x fem reader (Pinterest prompt lost #1) please!

“You are weak with love for her.”

Notes: Apparently I have issues writing fics that are mostly the requested pair. I don’t know how this turned into what it did, but there it is. Fun fact: I started this fic three different ways before I settled on this one. Good times.

Tags: @this-is-what-makes-us-fandoms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things are fuzzy when you come back to your senses slowly. The pain in your head isn’t surprising and neither is the wet, sticky feeling on the side of your head. The cold is seeping into your skin through the material of your jeans where you’re sitting on the damp concrete, hands pulled above your head secured with chains if the clinking noise is anything to go by. Your shoulders are sore and your ribs ache with each breath, but other than that you seem to be relatively unharmed. The pounding headache was by far the worst part.

And it was made worse when you finally decided to open your eyes.

“Y/N…thank god.”

“Di-Nightwing?” You can barely make out he outline of the man sitting across from you, but the voice and color scheme are unmistakable. “What happened?”

“What do you remember?” Blinking your vision clear, you try to remember the events leading up to that shadow appearing in your bedroom.

“Dinner with a friend,” you say in leu of saying Damian’s name because you don’t know who has you and what they know. “A movie and then a walk home.” It had been Damian’s night off and he had decided to take you on one of the most cliché dates ever because Dick had recommended it and you had found it amusing. He would do anything to see that lovesick smile on your face and the whole family (and you) knew it.

“Where did he grab you?”

“He?”

“Deathstroke.” Well, damn. “Where were you?”

“At home. I had been there about ten minutes.” The lenses of Nightwing’s mask closed and you knew he had drawn the same conclusion. Long enough that Damian would have been well on his way home. “But…I never sent the text.”

The text that you sent every night before slipping into bed and drifting off for the night. The text that would be replied to immediately if Robin wasn’t patrolling. The text that you would see the reply to when you woke up the next morning if he was. The text that was sent because you had once told Damian how your mother said her biggest regret was not getting the chance to tell your father she loved him one last time before he died in the car accident when you were ten.

“He’ll notice then.”

“Yeah,” you breath out, blinking slowly as your head starts to fog up again. “How long have we been here?”

“Me, a couple of hours. You, maybe an hour tops.” Damian would have definitely figured something out by now. Whether he had figured it was foul play was still up in the air.

“Hey, N?” You struggled to keep the slur out of your voice, but the startled look on his face told you that you had failed. “I’m going to pass out again now.”

“Hey, no! Y/N?! You need to stay awake!” Nightwing called out, but he already sounded like you were listening from underwater, so you knew it was a pointless cause at this point.

The next time you came to, you are still chained up but there’s the distinct sound of fighting in the room with you. A gun shot going off pulls you out more quickly than the previous time.

“You should have killed me when you had the chance, kid,” the deep voice of Deathstroke, aka Slade Wilson, draws your attention to where he and Robin are engaged in a fight. A quick glance reveals Nightwing is almost out of his manacles, tossing worried looks between the fighting pair and you.

“Y/N!” Nightwing relaxes slightly in the shoulders when he notices your eyes are open again. But that is short lived when another gun shot goes off and something sharp hits your cheek. You flinch and gasp when the pain in your arms is brought back to your attention.

You’re aware you haven’t been shot, but you definitely took some kind of shrapnel to the cheek and it stings. But it just serves to remind you of all the other aches and pains that have only gotten worse since your last bout of consciousness.

“Ow,” you muttered, blinking back the bite of tears.

“Jesus,” Nightwing swears, doubling his efforts to get out of his restraints. It’s a moment later that both of his arms are falling to his sides and he’s crawling over to where you’re slouched. But your eyes are on Robin and Deathstroke. You had seen Damian fight plenty of times and every time you’re able to marvel at the terrifying beauty of it. But he has a katana and Deathstroke is wielding his guns.

“No, help him. Help Robin,” you gasp out when Nightwing reaches up to pick the lock securing your hands above your head.

“No. He’d never let me hear the end of it if I didn’t get you out of here first.”

“Please help him.” But you know your request is in vain because Nightwing is shaking his head and reaching above you still. Your chest is tight with fear as you keep your eyes on Robin as he focuses on Deathstroke.

“The others are here,” Nightwing says quietly as you feel the grip around your wrists release and he’s gently guiding your arms down. He’s careful with you, but you aren’t trained to compartmentalize the way they are and the pained cry escapes your dry, cracked lips. There’s a flurry of movement when the others crash into the room and you flinch at the commotion before leaning into Nightwing as he shifts to protect you from what’s happening on the other side of the warehouse.

“Get her out of here,” comes a growl that is sadly all too familiar these days and just, how did knowing Batman’s voice become your norm? “Nightwing, now!” The order is clear and Nightwing tenses with it but doesn’t argue. Instead, he loops an arm under your legs and around your back, lifting you easily as he stood.

“Leslie is waiting at the Cave. Take mine.” Red Hood shoots Nightwing a glance over his shoulder before taking a shot at Deathstroke.

You want to argue. You want to fight them all to get to Robin and make sure he’s okay, but the fog is coming back and you’re not certain how much longer you’ll be able to hang on. But you fight it because Hood’s ride is a motorcycle and you’ll need to hang on for the ride to the Cave.

Thankfully, Nightwing seems to know you’ve only got a little bit left in you and straps you onto his back before you’re flying a breakneck speed to the hidden entrance. But you’re out again before you enter and when you come back to the world, you’re laying on a bed in the med bay of the Cave and Damian is sitting next to you. You hand, that doesn’t have an IV attached to it, is held tightly between both of his, his lips pressed to your knuckles as he watches you blink awake. There’s no hiding the fear in his eyes, or the relief at seeing you awake, so you give him your best shot at a smile.

“Hey,” your voice is rough and you can guess that you’ve probably been out for a fair amount of time given the texture of it.

“Thank gods you’re all right,” he whispers in response, leaning forward and kissing your forehead. You close your eyes and hum in response. “I was so worried. When you never sent the text,” he explained, leaning back to sit down again. He kept his grip tight on your hand, placing his lips back to your knuckles.

“Slade?”

The darkened expression tells you all you need to know. Escaped.

“What did he want?” There had been no exchange between the two of you other than the butt of his gun connecting to the side of your head, so you couldn’t be certain outside of your connection to Robin.

“To make a point. He failed.”

“He was never going to kill me or Dick, was he?” Damian let out a snort and shook his head.

“No, he’s too fond of Grayson. It’s disturbing. I think he only takes him to prove he still can,” and wasn’t that disturbing. But you were still glad that Damian’s oldest brother had been there to keep you calm and watch out for you.

“Dami? What point was he trying to make?” The question is quiet, and you’re worried about the answer, but you also know you need to hear it.

“You’re weak with love for her,” Slade ground out as he blocked a blow from Damian, throwing one of his own that was easily blocked by the other man. “Your grandfather would be disgusted with how weak you are.”

“You are wrong. I’m strong because of my love for her. For all of them. That is where my grandfather was wrong.”

“It doesn’t matter. He was wrong.” The smile he gives you is enough to put out the fire of fear in your belly and when he releases your hand to place his hands on either side of your face so he can press his lips to yours sooths the remaining doubts.

“I love you, My Prince.”

“And I you, Beloved.”

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whinsical-ash · 4 years

Text

Death by Flowers p2 (Reader x ?)

Summer: No one never expects love to kill them, the chances were so slim. Only one in twenty thousand will ever contract Hanahaki disease. A disease where the one who loves someone with every part of themselves and can’t go on with their love being unrequited so they slowly sufficient made from the flowers of their loves.

You woke to the sound of a steady beeping noise. You blink rapidly as you adjust to the bright lights. You look at your arms to see you hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor, the source of the beeping. You look to your right to see Aizawa sensei sitting in the chair next to you with his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was raspy.

Aizawa lifts his head up with concern painted clearly on his face with splashes of guilt. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I keep messing up,” Aizawa opens his mouth but you rambled on looking at your hands. “I shouldn’t have bothered you, I mean it must have been hard to deal with me passing out and getting me help. I hope I didn’t make a mess with flowers, I’ll clean it up when-”

“Stop,” you look up at him as he frowns. “You are my students and you are never a bother to me. Even when I complain about you guys being problem children, I care about you. Don’t worry about the mess you didn’t make and instead about your health and what option to turn to.”

“This isn’t the first time,” you watch as surprise fills his face. “I’m gonna die this time.”

“I won’t allow that,” Aizawa held your hand in his with a determined look on his face. “We figure something out, Recover girl can help buy us time as we work to find a way out of this.”

“But people don’t make it if they get it again after the first surgery!”

“Will then you’ll be the first one! You are one of my kids and I always look after my kids.”Aizawa pulls you into a hug.

“I don’t want to die,” you sniff as the tears fall. When did you start crying?

“We won’t let you go so easily.”

You listen to Aizawa talking to your parents, most people wouldn’t be able to hear his hidden rage but you got used to trying to figure out your teacher’s mood by the tune of his voice. You studied the curtains that hide you away from your parents, they just asked how much they had to pay and that was it. That’s how it has been since the beginning of middle school when you told them you were Bisexual. Maybe they thought you’ll outgrow it and figure ignoring you, the problem, would be best but this whole thing proved it wouldn’t. You were gonna die and they only cared how much it would cost them in the end and not about you.

You look at your hands again waiting for them to leave so you can try and go on till the end like nothing was wrong.

Aizawa sighed deeply as he pulled open the curtain, surprise your parents weren’t there as always.

“We’ve come up for a regiment to treat the flowers.” Recovery Girl walks in with some papers. “Your parents agree to the treatment and handling the cost of it all. They also gave consent to have it change at any time to best treat you.”

You nodded to show her you were listening.

“You won’t be participating in training until you fully recover, we also figured you would like to hide this from your classmates.”

“I don’t want to distract them or anything. I just ...” you pause as you try to get your thoughts together. “I want things to continue how they were before all this… stuff I guess.”

“Will we can’t just lie about what's going on and they figure something is wrong so we could say something is wrong with your lungs and you're receiving personal treatment for it.” Aizawa crosses his arms.

“It would probably be best if we know who is the cause to-”

“They didn’t cause this!” You shouted before you could stop yourself. “Sorry, but I mean the way you said it made it sound like they’re at fault and they’re not. They didn’t do anything wrong, I just…”

“Love them too much,” Recovery girls finished for you, causing you to look at her in surprise. “You’re not the first student I had to treat for this and I’m certain you won’t be the last. People like you never blame the people they love and most of the time if they end up dying it’s never revealed who they loved so deeply, but I’m required to ask.”

A silence filled the room at her words. Even if they were going to try you will die maybe just later than sooner.

“So what’s next?” You asked, breaking the suffocating silence.

“You’ll be taking these meds three times a day,” She handed you a bottle of pills. “This is a new drug to help stop the spreading of the flowers and help your body break them down in your lung to make coughing them simpler and easier. I also have a packet for breathing exercises to strengthen your lungs. Along with this cream that you need to rub on your chest before bed. It will help with the pain.”

“This won’t be easy, will it?”

“I’m saddened to say it but this will be a long and painful journey you’ll have to go down.” Recovery Girl looked so much older at that moment. She must have seen so many people in pain just trying to buy a little more time, cause that is all that can be helped in this.

“I’ve got some contacts that I’ll look into that might come up with some solutions,” Aizawa spoke up drawing your attention. “Maybe find someone who survived this type of thing.”

“Thank you both so much,” your eyes stung but you didn’t have any more tears to waste on yourself.

You spent the rest of the day sleeping under Recovery Girl’s watch, Aizawa just told everyone you had a chest infection that you were dealing with. In a way it wasn’t false, it just wasn't an infection they were thinking of. So far the past few days seemed to go on without a hick, no one figuring out what was going on. Life went back to normal for everyone as you tried to enjoy living and making sure your friends' happiness was assured which led to your current situation.

You smiled happily as Uraraka gushed about Midoriya and how he accepted her confession. She then asked if he would go on a date with her which he happily said yes to. As she told you the details you could help but study her. She looked stunning with that light blush and how her eyes were lit up with pure happiness and excitement.

“I really couldn’t have done it without you!” She gently grabs and holds your hands and she smiles from above you. You did your best to suppress the blush forming from her smile and the intimacy of this.

“Oh, come on all I did was support you with your crush, it was you who finally gathered the courage to tell him.” You gently pulled your hands out and used them to support your body so you could lean back and gain some distances.

“That’s ecstatically why I was able to do it! You let me confide in you without judgment or acted as if my fear were silly. You’re the best friend I could have asked for!”

“Hey, that's what friends are for! Now you better start on homework, it's getting late.” You glazed at your alarm clock, you need her to leave quickly. You felt a cough was coming and you couldn’t risk her seeing.

“Oh, I totally forgot! I’ll text you later,” She rushed out of your room. Just as the door closes you bury your face into your pillow to muffle the sounds. You try not to make more noses from the sharp pains from your raw throat as you try to cough up as much as you could. You remove your face from your pillow to see the mess made. You could feel bloody petals cling to your skin, refusing to be abandoned. You see the blood soaking into the pillow with unknown flowers covered in your life essence. You half-heartedly swipe away the petals clinging to your skin causing them to fall back to your bed.

You go to grab the garbage can that’s hidden in your closet. You remove the pillow cover and the flowers and shove them into the garbage can. You stare at the mixture of dried blood crusting on old flowers of different colors and species. You need to empty it soon, or maybe you should be burned with the poof of your love when your life ends? One thing is for sure is that you don’t have the energy to deal with it now, maybe tomorrow.

#my hero academia #my hero academia imagines #boko no hero academia #boku no here academia #hanahaki #x reader #boku no hero academia imagine #dadzawa #reader needs a hug #bi reader

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