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#did one cut and ended up going shorter and shorter
101maverick · 3 days
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Hearts Intertwined
Chapter 1
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Jason Todd x Reader
Warnings: violence, attempted sexual assault, the appropriate panic response to one such attempt, word “r*pe” used during inner monologue
Summary: You go out to bring food to Crime Alley kids on Easter Sunday and have an unlucky encounter. The night takes a turn thanks to a lucky appearance.
Info on Reader: Reader is alone in Gotham, she drives a motorbike and is much shorter than Jason. More info as the story goes on!
Word count: 1981 words
‼️⚠️REMEMBER TO REBLOG!!!⚠️‼️
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You should’ve know, really.
Usually it wasn’t like this, usually you were careful.
Usually, you didn’t go out in Crime Alley alone.
Usually, you weren’t stupid.
The heart and the mind don’t mix well though, and clash between the two usually ends with the triumph of irrationality.
And this was your case, as your heart had led you outside into the most dangerous parts of Gotham on Easter Sunday, delivering warm containers of food to the children you had become accustomed to visiting in these areas.
You usually were not alone though, always accompanied by some of your friends from work, kind souls like you who helped keep you safe as you brought some light in the days of the kids of Crime Alley.
This time however it was different, with all of your friends and acquaintances choosing to spend the day either celebrating the Holiday or sleeping away the April chill and the week’s hardships.
You never had anyone to celebrate Holidays with though, no family close to you for thousands of miles, and this was how you always spent special days, helping those who needed it.
This is why, in a mix of routine and empathy, you spent the last of your usable March’s earnings on ingredients and spent Saturday and Sunday morning preparing as much food as possible, before loading it all into your motorbike’s luggage rack and heading out, checking on the food to make sure it was warm still in the thermic containers and driving off into the East End, where you spent the remainder of your day till sundown.
And that was how you ended up in your current situation, cornered by a drunken man in some grimy cul-de-sac smack dab in the middle of Crime Alley.
“How you doin’, sweetheart?” Slurred the man, slightly stumbling toward you.
He was big. He dwarfed you in size, his rough and calloused hands big enough to cover your face and then some. His face was pulled into a smirk, the stench of alcohol coming from him evident from even feet away.
You tried reacting, really you did, but before you could do so much as speak his hands were on you, rancid breath hot over your face.
You tried to scream several times before any sound decided to come out, and then you were quickly silenced by one of the man’s hands on your mouth, the other roaming and trying to undo your coat.
Hot tears ran down your face as you tried to fight him off while simultaneously battling with your body’s instinctual reaction to freeze, your limbs flailing while you landed feeble hits on his arms.
Desperation and tears clouded your vision, muffled screams coming through the barrier that was the man’s grimy hand, the blood rushing through your ears covering the rustling of your coat, the only barrier between yourself and the man’s depravity.
That same sound seemed to close you off from the rest of the world, the night obvious to your agony.
That same sound was the reason you almost missed it, tho it must have echoed painfully loudly in the dangerous and tense silence of Crime Alley.
“Hey!”
It cut through the haze, a deep sound, scratchy as if it hurt, roughened by something fiery, something dark.
Through the tears you saw the man turning to face the mouth of the alleyway, a deep scowl carving into his face. “The fuck ya wan’, man?”
“For you to get out of here, and fast.” Replied the voice, scathing and menacing.
No, not a voice, a man. You couldn’t see well in the dark, but you could see enough to be preoccupied.
He was even bigger than the drunken man who had originally cornered you, probably taller than six feet and with muscles evident even through his coat.
You didn’t dare move, freezing on the spot and trying not to make a sound in hopes the drunk might leave you alone in favour of a confrontation with this new person on the scene.
The former kept looking to the mouth of the alley, seeming to consider something. Then, with a sliver of badly-concealed fear, he muttered “Whatever, this is not worth my time anyways” and took his hands off of your mouth and body before making his way out of the alley as quick as possible.
You were left standing there, hot tears still steadily making their way down your face but not making a sound, trembling like a leaf but unable to move a muscle.
Your eyes were trained on the man in the coat now, dark silhouette a stark contrast to the moonlight-washed sidewalk on the main street of Crime Alley.
He shoved the drunk when he passed by him, prompting him sprint, the only evidence of his presence the quickly fading sound of feet on asphalt and the ghost sensation of his filthy hands on your form.
The crunching of broken glass let you know the man was walking towards you now.
“Hey.”
It cut through the silence, a deep sound, soft and careful despite the roughness of the timbre. “Are you hurt?”
You could just shake your head, words refusing to come out.
Your breathing was fast-paced, shallow gulps of air making their way through your slightly parted lips, not enough air coming through. Your heartbeat was jackrabbit-fast, your head spun slightly.
“Can you walk?” The stranger gently prodded.
Your legs felt like jelly. You were trembling all over. You were pretty sure if you tried to take even the littlest of steps you would’ve fallen, legs giving out.
You hesitantly shook your head no.
The stranger stayed silent, seemingly considering something. Then he took a deep breath, and slowly put his hands up to show you his empty palms. “I’m gonna come towards you, ok? I swear I won’t do anything, I just want to make sure you’re okay and help you walk if you’ll let me, alright? It’s not safe here at night, I don’t want to leave you alone like this.”
Still that soft, careful voice, such a stark contrast to when you first heard it.
You considered his words, and jerked your head in a quick nodding motion.
That prompted him to move, slowly making his way toward you. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were still up at shoulder height, hands splayed showing his rough but empty hands. He was trying to make himself look as small and non-threatening as possible. Despite it’s ineffectiveness due to his sheer size, the effort comforted you and you could feel your muscles slightly relax, though the trembling didn’t let out.
Once he was a few feet away from you, he stopped. From this distance you could make out his features a lot better. His eyes were light, mainly blue with the bares hints of something else, maybe green? You weren’t sure, the moonlight not helping you distinguish details. His hair curled softly, a shock of white on his forehead amidst the inky blackness of the locks. His features were pleasing, a straight nose and a defined jaw coupled with slightly high cheekbones giving him a distinct look.
He looked you in the eyes, a gentle look on his face as he steadily held your gaze.
“Can I help you walk?” He asked. “If you say yes, I’d just put my arm around your back and help steady you, nothing more.”
You were pretty sure you would’ve toppled over on your own. You tried speaking, but words still refused to come out of your mouth.
At your body’s uncooperativeness, panic started clawing up your chest and through your throat. You could feel your throat closing up, your lungs refusing to draw breath as your vision clouded with tears once again, eyes trained to a spot on the ground.
The reality of the situation was finally setting in, you had almost been raped.
You had almost been raped, and you hadn’t been able to do anything about it.
You hadn’t been able to so anything about it.
Had it not been for a charitable stranger walking down the street deciding to take a few minutes from his day to help you, your world would’ve been turned upside down, your body would’ve been desecrated and your mind shattered into bits.
The thousand scenarios played through your head, your mind’s eye sifting through all the possible ways it could’ve ended.
You could see nothing more than those possibilities, hear nothing more than the rushing of your blood past your ears, feel nothing more than the ghost touch of hands in places they should never have been and your body’s trembling.
‘Oh God i was almost raped oh God iwasamostrapedohGod-‘
At your reaction the stranger stayed rooted to the spot, lowering even more until he was crouching on the ground, eyes searching yours.
“Hey, are you okay? Please, follow my breaths.” He said, slowly reaching out to gently touch your hand, which hung limply at your side.
It was a jolt of electricity. The touch snapped you from your panic. The scenarios dissipated from your vision. The sound of blood rushing became fainter. The ghost hands on your body relented. You could see again, the eyes of the stranger coming back into view, his hand solid but gentle on yours, the sound of his steady breathing the only thing you could hear in the silence of the night.
You started following his breathing, your own breaths calming and finally becoming effective in getting air into your lungs.
Once your trembling was as settled as it was gonna get and you were taking in steady puffs of air, the stranger started talking again.
“I’m sorry if what i said upset you. Do you not want help with walking? It’s fine if you don’t, we can wait here until you’re fine enough to go on your way. I won’t let anyone bother you.” His voice was oh so gentle, low and comforting in the silence of the night.
You tried speaking, and this time you succeeded.
“Thank you.” Were the first words to tumble out. “I’d a-appreciate the help.” A feeble thing your voice was, oscillating between a whisper and something barely above that, pitched high from the residual panic.
His expression was open in a way that was clumsy on his face, like his features weren’t used to doing that. His eyes shone in the moonlight, a glint in them that reminded you of morning dew.
His eyes widened slightly, surprise evident in his parted lips.
“You don’t need to thank me. I… I just did what was right. You needed help, so I gave it.”
There was something in his voice, a sureness evident even with the faltering of it.
He got up from his crouch, dusting off his trousers. He came up to your right side and gently lifted up his left hand, setting it just under your left arm. You were basically tucked into his left side, his arm supporting your weight.
He was warm. You realised then that you were cold. He was solid, his muscles evident even through the thick layers of fabric he was clad in.
“My name is Jason, by the way, Jason Todd. You know, in case it helps you feel a little less uncomfortable with being so close to a stranger.”
You looked up at him. Considered.
He had just given you his name. This stranger, Jason, had disturbed the quiet of his own Easter Sunday evening to help you because you needed it and through all of that he was thinking of possible ways he was making you uncomfortable and solving them unprompted.
You smiled softly up at him, something akin to wonder in your eyes.
You gave him your name.
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colibriskitea · 1 month
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Poppy…how bout we stick to using scissors for scrapbooking..💗 + some poppy outfits I doodled while coloring this :)
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sysig · 3 months
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Gift (Patreon)
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icharchivist · 1 year
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i have my grips with the anime but there’s really some scenes it completely nailed (like Itaru’s gamer reveal), and when i reach those specific scene in the VN i really can’t stop thinking about just how good the anime was for those scenes in particular.
Case in point right now: the moment they’re trying to give out flyers for RomeJuli in the street and no one is stopping, so Masumi ends up, unprompted, to act out one of the scene as to bring attention to it.
i’ve rewatched the anime so many times it actually surprised me how abrupt the transition from Flyers to “Masumi is acting” is, it’s nice but, man. 
The fact the anime really shows when it clicks for Masumi that it would work, then having him, in silence, give his flyers away so he can then focus on acting, and seeing Izumi and Sakuya look at him, perplexed, before he starts acting and they catch on on what he’s doing, makes it flow so much better
A3 is a VN that really utilize the VN format extremely well, so it’s not especially a tackle on the VN itself, and there’s really a few things i think the anime did considerably worse, but this scene? kind of justify the anime’s existence for a bit because just remembering it gives me chill. 
#one of the reason the spring chapter is probably the best adapted one in anime form#more than just 'it's shorter than the rest so they had less to cut'#is that the few things they did cut i did see myself go yeah yknow what that's a fine exclusion#i have much more problems with what they cut later on but in spring for the most part it's good decisions#(except like. removing Tsuzuru's RomeJuli's backstory explaination)#and in the end it's mostly because. All the changes to Spring? Specifically manage to give a better image of Masumi.#Like i do like to feed on the crumbs of Masumi-not-being-obsessed-with-Izumi we get#and we do get a lot of them actually!! at least in the main chap#(also like when it sinks him to him that Saku has Trauma:tm: and how he does talk it out with Citron in a caring manner)#but a lot of times bc of awkward pacing just like this one it doesn't really hit as well as it could#and i think it impacts how much harder it is to appreciate Massu#honestly the anime did a lot of work in trying to pace out Massu's storybeats so that they have a better moment to shine#while also giving him a couple more scenes like being excited of rehearsing with Saku that reflects well on his character#like disclaimers in the tags but while i'm perhaps more 'meh' on the 'liking him still' scale with massu#i'm also team 'i can't stand his izumi's obsession it drives me insane'#but man i do think the crumbs are tasty and maybe i'm just making up a new chara in my head out of them#but i'll still care for them damnit!!! i'm not going to let this decision reflect on a son!!!#but i was realizing a few anime rewatch ago that i didn't mind Massu as much in the anime as he annoyed me in the VN#and now that i'm rereading the VN i think i'm getting why re: pacing#it's interesting tbh#ichablogging a3
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So apparently the version of the "Isn't It Bromantic" interview that gets passed around isn't the full thing
So after seeing a tumblr post I can't find, about two and half hours of intensive internet digging, and one purchase from a sketchy second-hand site later (full story under the cut, I promise it's interesting, but also long), I got the physical magazine and scanned it
So here you go: the full "Isn't It Bromantic?" TV guide interview with Robert Sean Leonard and Hugh Laurie
Feel free to repost wherever you want- I want people to be able to find the full thing
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SO, as for how I found it:
I saw this tumblr post forever ago that I can't find anymore because tumblr is just Like That with a cropped screenshot of an interview with Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard. In the interview, they're asked about the "bromance" between their two characters. Leonard makes an annoyed comment about how "everyone [is] obsessed with homosexuality", followed by the interview apologizing and Laurie immediately jumping in with, "No, no, let's talk about it. Wilson and House have an unusual relationship so you have to explore…" and the screenshot cuts off there. Cue funny comment from the OP about the interaction, roll credits.
Except, as these things tend to do, it ended up becoming a bit of a brain worm, and I wanted to find it again. But I couldn't find the tumblr post. I looked absolutely everywhere, and in the process of looking everywhere, I found what I thought was the original interview- a blog post with the full quote from the actor. I didn't think too much about it, I figured it was just a short quote given to a popular blog in 2008. There's a magazine cover above it, but I don't think too much about it, because I'm focusing on the quotes in the article instead of the rest of it.
So I send screenshots to a couple friends to make jokes, and it probably should have died there.
However, late at night I end up thinking about that interview again, because of course I did. I start to think about how it's weirdly formatted for, what I assumed at first reading, was just an entertainment news blog reaching out for comment and getting a response. So I pull up the screenshots of the article (because weirdly enough, the old-ass blog only loads on mobile) and look at it again.
This is when I realize that this isn't an original piece from a blog interviewing these two after reaching out for comment. This is a blog post quoting and commenting on a full interview from a magazine, which I had originally thought had just been the inspiration for the piece.
So naturally, I go looking for the magazine.
Luckily, the name of the magazine is displayed on the cover, and so is the title of its main piece. This should be easy to find, right?
Wrong.
This is an interview in a physical magazine. From 2008. October 13th, 2008, to be exact.
I know this exact date because searching the article title and magazine name leads me to an archive on the TV Guide website.
Of covers.
And nothing but covers.
I spend like forty-five minutes searching everywhere I can think of on the web. Internet Archive, the TV Guide website, any search result that comes up when I search any combination of the words "House" "Interview" "Bromantic" "Bromance" "TV Guide" "Archive" etc. Over and over, all that's coming up are that original blog post and the cover from the official gallery.
The only things I could find online were:
The cover and date of the issue on the TV Guide website
The original blog post that was screenshotted in the original tumblr post
Another blog post that had a much shorter version of the quote, references something Leonard says from later in the article, and makes a comment on the nature of his reaction to the term "bromance"
An entry on Leonard's IMDB page's "interview" list mentioning it in title only
And:
5. A single listing for the issue on what seemed to be a second-hand site that looked like it hadn't had its UI updated since the mid 2000's, with a listing with no date or additional information besides what issue it is.
This is the only listing anywhere. I checked every other second-hand site I could think of, and then some that only came up through google searches. There's not a single listing for that issue on any of them. There were plenty of listings of TV guide magazines, including one that seemed promising because it included issues from that year, but it was missing all of October.
It seemed like the only listing for this issue on the entire internet was this one copy on this one obscure website. For all I know, this was listed in 2008 and abandoned, and just never got marked inactive. It could also be a complete scam.
A few quick google searches show that that website seemed to be legit, albeit a bit loose on quality control (which makes sense, this website seemed like the kind of thing you'd have to use the Way Back Machine to access). It also had an option to pay via PayPal, which meant I could file a chargeback if need be.
It was $11.50 when you include shipping.
So at about half past midnight, I bought the listing.
Naturally, about an hour later, I manage to actually find a scan of the interview. I had to follow a link in the comments of a post on FanPop, taking me to an old wordpress blog, and I'm sitting in front of the damn interview at last.
But something doesn't make sense. Why would their cover story only be two pages of text that aren't even full pages, and why would it cut off so strangely? There was no concluding sentence or paragraph, even though it started with a fairly long lead-in. It also led right up to the edge of the page, which felt like there should be more to it. There were more images in the interview than text, and the fact that there are so many of them and they clearly did a whole photoshoot indicated that they had them on hand for a while. The silly string one, for instance, I imagine probably had to require a couple takes, which means cleaning off Wilson's hair and face, adjusting makeup, etc. for it. Meanwhile, the conversation itself seems like it could have taken ten minutes total. I could have been totally wrong and that was where the article ended, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there might be more.
So I hold tight. A couple days pass with no update, and then the PayPal purchase gets updated with a tracking number. Promising, but it could still be a scam. Whether or not I get the actual magazine becomes a source of anxiety for the next week.
Until today, when I get told it was delivered. And when I opened the envelope it was sent in: there it was.
When I tell you I was happy stimming in my bedroom just holding the damn issue in my own hands... And then opening it and finding out that I was right, there was a missing page... I was elated. I still am, just typing this.
So I spent half an hour getting my scanner to work, and I give you the above issues.
Like I said above, feel free to repost however and wherever you want. I want all this to mean something.
In the meantime, I have two more House-themed TV Guide magazines coming to try and get articles from.
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itsthewritergal · 3 months
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don't tell Bucky - B.Barnes x reader
Summary: Reader is broke and refuses to tell mob!bucky the extend of it
TW: fluff, happy ending, little swears, mention of money, getting fired, (think that's everything)
ENJOY!!
:)
Y/N was used to the biting cold in her apartment, it had been a long few months with her hours being cut down and bills piling up she was in debt. Badly. She had started cutting costs where possible, heating was the first to go, she had opted for  not turning the heating on despite the freezing temperatures outside, food was the second thing to go, she had starting making meals stretch and eating less and slowly things seemed a little more manageable. The bills continued to pile up, yet things seemed a little easier. Every single penny was put to the side to clear her debt. She had been seeing Bucky as much as possible but she couldn’t talk to him about it, he would just offer to pay her debt off and then she’d owe him for almost the rest of her life. She couldn’t ask him. She wouldn’t. Bucky had picked her up from work, it was a surprise, and something Y/N was grateful for as she wouldn’t have to pay for the bus home. 
“Do you want to stay at mine tonight?” Bucky asked gently pressing a kiss to her cheek as they finished their heavy make-out session in the car 
“I’ve got work in the morning,” She said softly, breath slipping through her lips 
“Call in sick” Bucky said between kisses “You can go without one shift can’t you?” Bucky asked 
“We’re short staffed Buck, I need to be there” She lied easily, 
“Let me come in? I just want to hold you tonight” He said softly pressing another kiss to her lips. Y/N nodded in agreement, how could she ever say no to an offer like that? 
Bucky followed Y/N up the stairs to her apartment, she unlocked the door and was met by an icy breeze. Bucky shuddered. 
“Why is it so cold baby? Your heating broken?” He asked 
“Hmm?” Y/N asked turning around to face him 
“Your apartment Y/N, it’s cold” 
“Oh, sorry Buck I turned the heating off” 
“For good?” Bucky asked closing the door behind him “Or is it broken?” He asked
“Oh, no I just turned it off whilst I was at work” Y/N said softly, 
“Why would you do that?” Bucky asked again pulling Y/N into an embrace 
“It was just while I went to work Buck”
“That’s not safe doll, you should keep the heating on so you don’t get ill, even when you’re not home. You need to come into a warm house” Bucky said, Y/N resisted the urge to cry. 
“I usually do Bucky, it was just a one off” she said. 
Bucky didn’t mention the heating again that night. Y/N was grateful for that small mercy. What he did mention was the mountain of blankets that sat on her bed. 
“Doll?” He called from her bedroom 
“Yeah?” She replied coming into the bedroom, her eyes falling on Bucky’s metal hand clasping three blankets, 
“You coming down with something?” He asked “I can call Banner to come and check on you if you want?” 
“Oh Buck, no I’m ok. Just get cold when you’re not here” She said, it wasn’t a complete lie, just a small one. It made her feel a little better. 
“You know you could just move in with me?” Bucky offered 
“Don’t be silly Bucky, we’ve spoken about this” She said and Bucky stopped himself from starting an argument by pressing his lips to hers. 
— — — 
The next few weeks were tricky. Y/N had started picking up more shifts than she could count which lessened her time to do anything; most of all see Bucky. 
When one fateful day put Y/N’s life into a tailspin, 
“Y/N could you come into my office when you get a moment please?” Her boss’s voice cut through the noise, and Y/N felt a panic run through her body, 
“I’ll come now” She said quickly, hurrying behind the shorter lady, “is everything ok?” 
“Take a seat Y/N” She said, Y/N knew this wasn’t good, she never asked her to take a seat before, this had got to be bad news. 
“Have I done something wrong?” 
“No, Y/N you’re one of the best workers we have here” She said taking a deep breath “but we can’t afford to keep you on, with prices and wages going up we’re cutting down to less staff members and well it’s only fair that we let you go first. You’ve got enough experience to get another job quickly whereas the others don’t” 
“You mean the others are cheaper because they are younger?” Y/N said noticing the true meaning behind her words. 
“That isn’t what we are doing Y/N” her boss spoke halfheartedly 
“When do I leave?” Y/N asked dejectedly, knowing it was a loosing battle 
“Today’s your last shift, you are let go without holiday pay or leave notice” She said passing Y/N an envelope “All the necessary documents are in here, please hand your keys in at the end of the shift” 
“No need to wait” Y/N said, pulling her work keys out her bag and putting them on the desk. Picking up the envelope, Y/N walked out. 
The walk home was a cold one, not only because of the biting wind but Y/N felt empty, numb, like she’d just been caught in the rain. She wanted to call Bucky, but after her neglect of him she knew that he was probably mad at her and calling him to cry would not be the best way to go. However, her ringtone cut Y/N’s moping thoughts short, 
“Hello?” 
“Doll, oh thank god. Steve just told me he passed you on the street, he’s turning around to pick you up so don’t go anywhere. What’s happened?” Bucky asked 
“Nothing Buck, I’ll talk to you later, tell Steve not to worry” 
“No, he’s picking you up and you can come here or go home then come here, or just head home if that’s what you want but I’d rather Steve did it than you walk yourself doll okay?” He said 
“It’s going to happened whatever I say right?” Y/N chuckled halfheartedly, the lack of reply on Bucky’s end confirmed it “I’ll wait for Steve” 
“Good girl, I’ll see you soon” He said ending the call quickly. 
As if on cue Steve’s car pulled into view, 
“Hey Y/N, Buck’s waiting for you” He said opening the door for her, 
“Thanks Steve” 
After a few quiet minutes Y/N answered the question which was burning in Steve's mind, 
“I got fired” She said quietly, 
“They did what? Oh Buck won’t be happy, how dare they” Steve said forcefully, 
“They can’t afford me apparently” Y/N chuckled sadly 
“Bullshit” 
“Promise you won’t tell Bucky?” She asked 
“I won’t lie to him if he asks” Steve said “But I’ll divert attention so he doesn’t ask” Steve agreed quietly 
— — — — — 
Y/N had avoided Bucky for another two weeks, she hadn’t meant to. But she had been sending CV’s, babysitting, dog walking and selling small handmade bits online. Anything possible to make some money, she was yet to receive an interview or even any interest. It seemed that everyone was full of employees or was hiring younger staff, there was no place for Y/N. 
She had been dodging her landlord phone calls, and the electricity company and even a few others who she knew were angry that she hadn’t paid. Stretching her legs out wide on the floor she took a minute away from her laptop screen and picked up her phone. 
“I’m on my way, be there in 15” Bucky had texted around 15 minutes ago, Y/N let out a panicked sigh and started picking up the mess around her to try and make herself look presentable for Bucky, she had to keep up appearances. 
“Doll?” Bucky called through her apartment, 
“In here” She replied quickly shoving some dirty clothes at the bottom of her wardrobe, 
“Hey doll” He said softly pulling her in for a kiss, not seeming to notice her dishevelled state. 
“Hey Bucky” she pressed a kiss to his lips, something she had missed dearly. 
“I need to talk to you” Bucky said pulling her down to sit on the bed, she sat down with his hands gripped in hers as if he was about to disappear. 
“I know I’ve been awful Buck, I haven’t spoken to you and I’ve avoided you, please don’t be mad, I’ve just been so stressed and—”
Bucky quickly cut her off “I’m not breaking up with you Y/N” 
“You’re not?” 
“No, doll I’m not” 
“Oh” 
“I know what’s going on Y/N” he said sincerely 
“Nothing’s going on” 
“Doll I know” 
“Bucky nothing is going on”
“You got fired, you’ve been trying to find another job, you’ve been dog walking, which I’m not happy with because that’s dangerous when you don’t know the dog or the owner, and you’ve been selling your adorably little crochet animals online” Bucky said 
“You got someone to follow me” 
“You started shutting me out” Bucky justified 
“Fair enough” 
“Did I miss anything?” Bucky asked 
“No” Y/N said her eyes welling up with tears, she let go on Bucky’s hand to hide her face in them, 
“Oh doll, come here” Bucky said wrapping his arms around her, letting her cry all her stresses and troubles away onto his shirt, he knew once she had cried they would be able to talk through options properly. 
“I’m sorry” Y/N said with a sniffle 
“Can I finish what I was saying earlier?” Bucky asked, Y/N nodded silently “I’ve paid off all your debts, I did the landlord, electricity, water and that loan you took out, you can pay me back if you want to if you have the money, if not it’s my birthday present to you I know you won’t accept it any other way” He said 
“Bucky please”
“It’s already done” 
“I should be able to do this better,I  should be able to pay my fucking bills” 
“No” Bucky said calmly 
“No?” 
“No you’re not doing that. You are doing as best as you can. And I refuse to listen to that shit. Now put on a nice dress, we’re going out to eat” 
— — — — 
That night when Bucky and Y/N were laying in bed cuddled up to each other, Y/N decided to be brave 
“Bucky?” 
“Yes doll?” 
“Do you think I could move in with you?” She asked pressing a kiss to his chest “I don’t think I want to do this alone anymore” 
“Doll, I’d be delighted” 
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yourmidnightlover · 2 months
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the sun
pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: after the events of the snap, you find out news that's both heart wrenching and warming. what happens five years later when bucky's back?
warnings: death, mourning, pregnancy, childbirth, canon-typical violence (not much but just adding to cover all the bases), loosely based on end game and infinity war (as in ignore my mistakes lmaooo), if i failed to mention any warnings PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
wc: 2.6k
a/n: dude idk why i've had an urge to write such heart wrenching angst lately. i'm actually in a decent place rn. i tried to cut this fic down bc originally it was SOOOO long i felt like a lot of it was just filler and i feel like shorter fics of mine tend to do better... ANYWHO! this does have a happy/hopeful ending so no worries! also picturing this beefcake for this story is AGHHHHHHH!
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you never thought two lines on a stick could ever break your heart the way they did.
tears clouded your vision as you gripped the counter, trying not to crumble or succumb to your grief.
6 weeks ago, the avengers lost. everything.
half of the world, gone in a moment.
in one moment, your world collapsed. seeing bucky fade to dust right in front of you...
sobs wracked through your body as you crumbled to the ground.
this was supposed to be a happy moment. there should be tears of joy, not sobs of sorrow. your heart should feel full of love, not like there's a super-soldier sized hole in it.
"y/n," nat's voice rang outside the door, giving you a moment to yourself.
"just-," you tried to level your breathing before she opened the door, knowing but not understanding the grief you were feeling.
she wrapped her arms around your body, tucking your head into her neck as she gently rubbed your back soothingly. steve leaned against the bathroom door, glancing on the counter to see what they had all expected.
a positive pregnancy test.
you were having bucky's baby.
without bucky.
you gripped his dog tags that you had been wearing since the funeral. they were the only thing that could truly ground you.
they brought back happy memories of cuddling in bed, the cool metal shocking your skin for only a moment before realizing that it was only bucky and smiling at the memory.
god, it hadn't even been two months.
how were you supposed to do this alone?
"we're here for you," steve's voice called from the doorway, as if he could hear your thoughts. "you'll never be alone. not in this... not ever." he shook his head, his brows furrowed in a serious, straight line.
eventually, your sobs subsided. you stood with nat from your seat on the ground, wiping your own eyes mustering up a pathetic smile before she left you and steve to work out your grief together.
"we didn't even know it was possible," you shrugged. "it's like he sent me them..." you placed your hand on an invisible bump before facing steve, his teary eyes reminding you that he had lost his best friend, too. "he sent us this baby."
you reached your hand out for steve to hold. he took it gratefully and pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight and letting only a few tears slip his waterline before pulling back.
"if you'll let me, i want to be there for you for everything," his chin wobbled. "buck would kick my ass if i let you go through this alone." a genuine laugh left your lips for the first time in nearly two months.
"i would be so grateful for that," you nodded as you let go of his arms. "part of me still can't believe that it's real. it's like part of me still expects him to walk into the compound from a long mission or something..." you shook your head. "i know that sounds so stupid."
"it's not," he shook his head with a smile. "it's what i wish was true, maybe it's your subconscious trying to preserve your mind?"
"maybe," you shrugged before continuing, "i should probably talk to tony and bruce, huh?"
-
you knew you were around eight weeks along.
according to the doctors' tony had enlisted, however, you were already 12 weeks along, which was impossible.
bucky had been gone on a mission at that time... but it's whatever. you got to hear the heartbeat. steve went with you, too. you both bawled together. you kept three copies of the ultrasound and he kept two.
banner had already offered to do some testing on the dna of the baby, noting that the serum would likely affect the pregnancy (as it probably already has).
you had talked to tony about retiring from the whole superhero gig for the time being. you needed to mourn and prepare for a new life simultaneously. tony had promised to provide anything you needed at the drop of a hat, and he sure as hell delivered.
within no time, your pregnancy was being measured at 20 weeks while only being pregnant for 12. banner was concerned for your body's ability to keep up with the rapid rate of growth of the baby. he had you on a strict, hefty diet with two different prenatal vitamins in attempt to help your nutrition.
in spite of your best efforts, you were always exhausted and in pain. but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. this was bucky's baby. you didn't care how much pain you went through when you had half of him growing inside of you.
you couldn't walk for long without feeling like passing out, which banner chalked up to low iron. steve had grown progressively more worried for you and the baby the longer the pregnancy went on.
as a result, he had moved into the spare room that was in your and bucky's house. truly, it just made it easier for him to help you finish up the nursery anyway.
he was very handy about it all, painting, building furniture from scratch, the whole deal.
"i've been thinking... and if it's a girl, i want to name her evangeline james barnes," you informed steve as you ate the steak he had been making for the past few weeks of your pregnancy, as ordered by dr. banner. that with carrots, broccoli, potatoes, and for dessert strawberries, blueberries and raspberries over ice cream. "and if it's a boy, cyrus james barnes. evangeline means good news, and cyrus means sun."
steve placed his hand over yours, "i think buck would've loved them." he smiled warmly as you downed the food in a few minutes.
you had begun showing soon after you found out you were pregnant, but now, it felt like it was impossible to hide. nat had been wonderful about helping you keep up with the changes your body was going through, getting you new maternity clothes every week.
she even made sure to get you every single craving that wasn't in accordance to banner's hefty diet. not that he didn't want you to eat more, he thought it was best you did! but he also wanted to make sure that with all that you did eat, your body got as many nutrients as possible.
just to be safe, he kept you on other vitamin supplements anyway.
you couldn't help but imagine what bucky would say or do about everything now.
he would hold your body closely, pressing firm kisses to your bump every chance he could get while whispering some sickly sweet sayings to your unborn child, words that would melt the winter soldier's cold exterior.
he would whisper words of encouragement any moment you felt worried about your abilities to be a mom. he would say how beautiful you were, in spite of being bloated in places you didn't know could bloat.
he would be wonderful, and in your mind, he was still alive and vibrant. well, as vibrant as bucky ever was, at least.
truthfully, that's the only way you were able to keep going on like this. steve was wonderful, but you couldn't help but want the love of your life by your side as you tried to navigate this new chapter.
in a couple more weeks, you were projected to be at 32 weeks. bruce and tony were talking with your doctors about the safety of inducing so early, both for you and the baby.
oh, and you wanted the gender to be a surprise.
and within the week, you were having your baby.
steve and nat were by your side during the birth, whispering encouraging words and compliments of your strength.
"i need him!" you screamed in pain as you held one of each of their hands, sobbing in agony. "i need james! i need my bucky! i can't do this alone, i can't-i can't!"
"you can," nat reminded you. "this baby needs you," she held your face to look at hers. "bucky is a part of this baby." you swore you could see tears in her eyes before turning to face steve.
"remember what you told me when you found out you were pregnant?" he didn't bother wiping the tears from his face. "bucky sent you-sent us this baby. he knows you can do it." you sniffled before nodding at your two best friends, pushing with one last scream and a second later, you had...
"cyrus james barnes," the nurse called to you. "it's a boy, congratulations mom."
-
the next few years went by quicker than you could've ever imagined.
crawling, first words, first steps...
you missed bucky. not a day passed where you didn't miss him.
but, having cy helped a lot. he looked just like his father. dark brown hair, icy blue eyes, a cute little nose... not to mention his father's stubbornness.
you made sure he knew who his father was. you took him to the museum often, showing him the statue of his father and his background in the world war, him saving the world so much. you told him how you fell in love with him.
how you fell for the quiet man before ever really talking to him. how you were partners on a long-term, undercover mission and that's where your love ignited from the sparks.
not that cy understood any of what you told him. you just felt it was important to know that his parents loved him, and each other dearly.
you never took off his dog tags, either.
steve was a huge help the whole time. he kept working for the avengers, so he was gone often, but he provided a good male role model for cyrus. after all, he was his uncle steve. he already taught him how to throw a ball, albeit a little softball, but it counts!
you made sure to document everything that went on in yours and cyrus's life.
banner had said that cyrus was growing at an exceeding rate, but nothing to be concerned about. in fact, cyrus was turning five in almost half a year, meaning the anniversary of bucky's death, or disappearance or whatever you called it, was coming up.
then, you got a call from tony and banner.
it all happened so quickly, from testing to planning to the execution. pepper watched cyrus for you while you went back with steve, scott, and tony to get the tesseract.
of course, the men being men had to come upon a few hiccups, but eventually, after going as far back as the 70s, you brought back the tesseract.
the only thing is that nat never came back...
next thing you know, bruce is snapping his fingers and clint is getting a call from his supposedly deceased wife. your eyes fill with tears, hands searching in your pockets for your phone to see if you've gotten anything yet.
is it possible he wasn't brought back? he was the first to... disintegrate. die. maybe that meant something in the eyes of the stones?
then, you felt a buzz in your hand.
although, you didn't have any time to try to grasp what that meant, because more aliens came to earth.
shocker.
after yet another war, one that you weren't even prepared for, after losing more people, again. after losing tony...
but amidst the chaos of the aftermath of the fight, with screams of joy and shock and grief surrounding you, tears streaming down your face, your eyes met the blue ones you only saw in your son.
he slowly walked towards you as the tears sped up. you didn't even realize when your feet began running towards him.
when his arms wrapped around your waist, you finally felt the home you thought you had come to terms with never feeling again. your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his shoulder as you breathed in the scent of gunmetal that had overtaken him in the battle.
"oh my god," you cried into the leather of his jacket. he lifted you off the ground, your legs wrapping around his waist as you felt his smile on your cheek. "i can't believe you're really here."
"i'm here, doll," his hands cradled your head so tenderly. "i'm not ever leaving again. never."
you pulled back before your eyes widened in realization. "you've gotta meet someone, jamie."
his brows furrowed in confusion, just smiling and nodding along with whatever you said.
within the next few hours, simply being held by bucky before steve stole him away with a hug, you finally brought him home.
"so, steve moved in," you started as you pulled your car into the driveway, turning to see bucky looking at you with an incredulous look. "you'll see why." you reached to hold his hand before he brought yours to his lips, pressing a kiss there.
you told him to wait in the car as you went inside to relieve the babysitter for cyrus. after giving him some cash, he went outside, knocking on your car window to let bucky know he should make his way inside.
upon entering, he saw you sitting on the floor with a little boy with striking blue eyes that seemed so familiar to him. his nose, too. his lips though, they were all yours. he had a slight grin plastered on his lips, one that matched yours to a t.
"daddy?" suddenly, it all clicked.
his heart, his mind, his fucking soul, everything made sense now. the pain, hydra, the mind washing, the torture.
meeting you. falling in love. dying?
his son.
he started walking closer to bucky before the steady walk turned into a run. bucky knelt down, wrapping the boy in his arms, cradling his tiny frame in his arms protectively. his son.
"cyrus james barnes," you said with a teary smile on your face. bucky, without breaking the hug with his son, looked up at you with a smile that matched yours. "cyrus means 'sun', and i thought it was fitting. he brought me so much light and hope after you..." you choked up before he stood up with cy in his arms, walking towards you before wrapping you in the big, family hug.
"i love you so much, both of you."
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box-milk · 7 days
Text
What did I do?
Pairings ~ Aitana Bonmati
Genre ~ fluff
Warnings ~ Google translated Spanish and short.
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"Amor, have you had water?" Your girlfriend aitana questioned as you sat on the grass chatting away with Marta after practice. Shaking your head slightly still involved in your conversation.
Your girlfriend frowns lightly before getting your bottle and placing it in your hand gently. "Oh, thank you, aitana." Smiling greatfully before gulping down the bottle then running over when someone called you from the other side of the field.
Aitana looked at Marta confused, and the older woman returned the expression. "What did you do, Bonmati?" The older question with an eyebrow rasied having grown very protective of you.
Everyone one on the team knew you never addressed your girlfriend by her first, even before the both of you were an item, so hearing her full name from your lips was quite strange.
"I did nothing, no." The shorter girl tried to defend herself, knowing that the woman could be very scary when it came to you. The conversation is cut from going further. However, when the whistle blows to resume practice.
°•°°•°°•°•°•°
"Do you want anything, Amor?" Aitana moved from where she was snuggled in your side to move to the kitchen to get herself a refill. "Just a water, please, Aitana"
You missed the way your girlfriend frowned, and the way your teammates who were over at your place for team bonding night almost broke their necks at the sound of you calling your girlfriend by her full name.
Your girlfriend stood in the kitchen frantically checking the calendar on her phone to see if she missed any important dates that would cause you to be upset with her, but she came up blank leaving her even more confused.
"Aitana? Estás bien?" You entered the kitchen when you noticed she's been in there for a while.
"Estas enojada conmigo?¿Qué hice?" Your girlfriend asked, confused, really hating the sound of her name at the moment.
"¿qué? Por supuesto que no and you didn't do anything Aitana"
"Then stop that I dont like."
You furrowed your brows in confusion before bringing your girlfriend in your arms, who sighed a little in relief at being in your arms.
"I don't understand, don't do what?"
"Call me aitana"
"That's your name, no?"
Your girlfriend pushed out of your grasped, folding her arms while glaring at you.
"To you no. mi nombre es cariño o tana." The shorter girl huffed out, getting quite upset now, and you knew immediately where to stop.
Sheepishly, you rubbed your neck a nervous tell of yours. Aitana picked it up quickly and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"What did you do Y/n?". The tone leaves no space for bullshit and you crumble, also not liking the sound of your full name on your lovers lips.
"Salma and Vicky bet me that I couldn't go a day without calling you nicknames." You explained nervously, twirling your pointer fingers around the other.
Aitana is silent for a few minutes before harshly gripping your wrist before dragging you out of the kitchen stop at the stair that leads upstairs to your bedroom.
"I suggest you all leave now before you hear something you'll regret."
You and your teammates' eyes widened before they made sounds of disgust and leaving.
Despite her small figure, your girlfriend roughly threw your tall body on the bed before climbing on top of your thighs on both ends of your waist.
"Accept a bet like that again, and we'll have serious problems, amor." You quickly shake your head in agreement looking into your girlfriend's blackened eyes.
"buena niña. Now strip."
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mrsrookhunt · 10 months
Text
What to Expect When Your Lab Experiment Drinks Formula
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PART TWO, PART THREE
A continuation (Mini fic Ver.) fic of what I made for Rook, HERE
| Synop.: You and your lab partner make a mistake in your potion, one that comes out looking strangely like it's related to you.. |
Characters: Azul Ashengrotto, Malleus Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge, Floyd Leech, Sebek Zigvolt, (Rook Hunt) x MC
Warnings: Suggestive (Floyd), Angst (Sebek), implied light manipulation (Malleus)
Scroll Farther Alert! There's a narration cut for the second part of each fic after the first portion. Don't miss it! Each ends with fluff. Sebek's is long, fair warning.
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You're trying to make a simple transformation potion, aging up a tadpole to a frog, when you add the wrong ingredient, and use one drop too many on the poor tadpole. The result is a child that looks eerily like the two of you...
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Azul Ashengrotto
"Holy-- great sevens, Azul, is that a child??"
He holds it up a foot away from him, equally baffled.
"Don't ask me! You're the one who insisted on using the wrong ingredients!"
"You were the one who picked those--"
"WAHHHHHH--" The baby flails its arms and fusses at your petty squabbles.
You turn your attention back to the small creature, looking disoriented from being held so far away from any solid ground.
Azul's watching too, as the child seems to scold you both with an oddly knowing glare that could kill.
You've seen that glare before--
"Azul, am I crazy, or does that thing look like you??"
"Weh." It motions towards you as Azul looks over it.
"Gracious, so it does. And it looks like you too. Look at its' nose and eyes."
You come closer to look, but the baby seems intent on having you hold it, squirming out of Azul's hands.
"Ahem, I believe the little one wants you--"
He pushes the wiggly baby into your arms, taking the moment to reposition his glasses, which had slid down with nervous sweat.
"I'll go talk to professor Crewel, there is undoubtedly something he can do about this."
Malleus Draconia
"Child of man! What is that you're holding?"
"Um... it was supposed to be a frog...."
Malleus takes it from you, holding it cautiously. The little baby he holds has soft black hair, slit-pupiled eyes the same color as yours, and suspiciously familiar shorter horns. It coos at him and motions to his horns with curious, grabby hands.
"Whatever we did, we must have touched it at the same time, Tsunotarou... Because it looks like a mix of both of us."
He puts it on the back of his neck with his arms up to support the chubby infant as it grabs at his horns.
"Hm. It's quite cute, Child of man. We can keep it in Diasomnia if Ramshackle doesn't have the capacity to care for it."
You stare on in disbelief.
"It's... its a frog with a transformation potion... we can't keep it, Malleus!"
He frowns, taking the infant down from his shoulders and cradling the small bundle to his chest.
"The potion had birch seed in it. The transformation is permanent; so I don't see a reason to get rid of it."
Malleus smiles, tickling its chubby cheeks.
"There's no way it's totally permane-- Wait. Didn't you have me add some of those ingredients? Did you know this would happen?"
Malleus is suspiciously silent.
"Malleu--"
"I'll go ask professor Crewel if there's a reversal." He sighs, handing the baby to you and moping all the way to the desk.
Lilia Vanrouge
"If you wanted a baby, precious, you could've just asked--"
You nearly slap him. So cocky, when there's a baby that looks suspiciously like you and Lilia on the table where a grown frog should be.
"Sevens, Lilia, this is not the time--"
He chuckles.
"In my defense, I told you not to use a sprig of pine."
You splutter, lost for words and flustered. The baby certainly seems to share Lilia's sense of humor, giggling mischievously at your flustered expression.
You pick it up before Lilia can, determined to barge straight into professor Crewel's office if you had to to get an answer on what this thing was.
"Heh, MC, the baby's smiling at you--" Lilia calls from a distance. You look down and find that the baby is indeed wholeheartedly excited that you're paying it attention, reaching its chubby arms up to feel your face and grab your nose.
"Aww.. so cute," You whisper, blowing a stray breath into its face for amusement.
"I heard that!" Lilia shouts from the table. "Don't go getting too attached now. I'm not raising another child, darling."
"Shush! I'm taking it to the professor right now, you have nothing to worry about."
Floyd Leech
"SHRIMPY, CAN WE KEEP IT---"
Floyd is whirling the baby around in excited twirls.
It's a very cute moment, but you're still baffled at the little creature's existence-- since it very much didn't exist about 10 seconds ago.
"Floyd, I'm pretty sure that's just an oversized tadpole..."
He stops in mock offense, thrusting the baby into your face.
"Does this look like a tadpole to you?? Unless you're suggesting that we both look like tadpoles, in which case, I'm taking offense because this baby looks like us."
He puts it down to play with its tiny legs.
"Look, shrimpy! It's going for a walk--" He pauses to think. "A sky walk!!" And continues to make the little one's legs 'walk'.
While Floyd is busy making baby noises to amuse the child, you're panicking. This potion had birch seed-- an ingredient known to make transformation potions permanent, if you remembered correctly.
"Floyd, c'mon, give it here, we need to take this to profess--"
"NOO we'll keep it!!!" Floyd holds the baby tight to his chest. "It's wayyy too cute!"
You pry the baby from him reluctantly.
"We cannot just keep a child, Floyd, it's not an animal--"
"If you take this one I'm just gonna make another one!!" He cries, moving to grab another tadpole from the tank.
"NO NO NO NO FLOYD--"
"Well don't take my little sea-star then!!"
You sigh.
"I'm almost 100% sure this is permanent anyway, but neither of us are in a position to care for this baby. We might as well take it to the professors and see if they can do something. We can't just hide the fact that we accidentally made a baby for our final project anyway---"
He mutters something about 'could've made a baby other ways, but it had to be the boring way', but allows you to go with the little one, who coos in your ear.
You hear a clatter.
"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THE TADPOLE TANK, FLOYD--"
Sebek Zigvolt
"Human, explain. Explain----"
The baby bites his finger, which apparently was pointing at it too close for its liking.
"Ouch--! What do you think you're doing, little tyke? Do you think that just because you're an infant that you have an excuse to bite a retainer of the great Waka-sama??"
The baby looks blankly at him.
"You can't scold a baby, Sebek." You scoffed, bouncing the child on your hip.
"Fine! But you still have to explain why this child has my hair and eyes and....-- isn't that your nose?" He looks momentarily horrified as he comes to the conclusion you came to minutes earlier.
"Oh NO NO NO NO MC THAT IS NOT OUR CHILD, TELL ME THAT CREATURE ISN'T OURS--"
"For goodness sake Sebek you're shouting right in our baby's ear--"
"'OUR'?? THAT IS NOT 'OUR' ANYTHING, THAT IS YOUR POTIONOLOGY MISTAKE AND NOTHING MORE--"
He's babbling nearly incoherently at this point, and you have to stop the baby from attempting to bite him again out of what you can only assume is annoyance.
"...I would NEVER have a child with a lowly, magicless human, this CANNOT get out---"
"waah...wEHHHHHHHH"
Sebek stops talking for a moment, ears ringing.
You, too, are shocked.
"Sebek.. if it's not your child then I have ANOTHER auditory atrocity of a person to avoid on this planet."
"..."
"I'm taking it to professor Crewel."
"I think that's wise."
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You/ your lab partner take the child to professor Crewel, who determines that it is in fact a permanent transformation, and that biologically the baby is as much yours as any other naturally born to the two of you.
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Azul Ashengrotto
"Are... you ok, Azul? You've been staring into space for a... ahem, awhile."
The baby crawls around the the VIP Room of Mostro Lounge, bumping into walls. You suspect it may need glasses.
Surprisingly, the baby seems well-tempered, unless you have the misfortune of holding it the wrong way or otherwise inconveniencing it, to which it seems highly irritated.
However, it was one 'just like your father' comment that sent the already figity Azul into an unresponsive state.
"Was, um.. was that too soon?" You ask tentatively.
"..Yes.. yes, I think it was." He responds distantly.
"Azul, it's gonna be ok. We'll figure it out." You get up from the floor to hold his hand.
He meets your gaze, eyes sharp and calculating.
"Yes, of course we'll be fine, how could we not be? Finances are no issue and we could always hire a babysitter and.... well, it's not that. It's just a lot to take in."
"Today's been wild," You agree softly, gently picking up the baby to put it in his lap. "But I'm here for you."
You lean down to the baby's level.
"We're here for you, little one."
Malleus Draconia
"I still CANNOT believe you knew, Malleus--"
You're still squabbling with him pointlessly, even though the damage is already done. You can honestly say you've well warmed up to the baby, and Malleus seems to be doing worse than you on the details, having apparently very little idea how to care for a child other than playing with it.
"I'm sorry, Child of Man. I didn't know it was permanent," He insists calmly, but you don't quite believe that.
You sigh. He can act clueless as long as he'd like, but the overly exuberant smile on his face while interacting with your child says more than words.
He picked up the baby and put it down on his bed, already having sewn little, special pillows for the baby to sleep comfortably with its horns.
"You better be a good dad, you hear me?" You say, less threatening that you thought it would come out.
He beckons you over to the bed to lay down next to your baby.
"I will, Child of Man, I promise."
Lilia Vanrouge
You knock on his dorm room door, baby on your hip.
"So..um.. bad news, Lilia... it's perman-- Are you having a party?"
He shoos out at least 10 members of Diasomnia.
"I know, dear. Unfortunately I didn't realize what you had done in time to stop you. So I was having a little 'last moments of freedom party'. How sad, and Silver was essentially all grown up now.. Well, what's another 16 years?"
You're speechless. You had kind of forgotten that he was Silver's adoptive father.
"I'm... sorry, Lilia, I should've payed closer attention to the instructions and I screwed up--"
"Hush, it's fine. It's not the end of the world."
He takes the baby from you.
"I already brought in an old cradle and some food for our little one, see?"
He points out an old wooden crib next to his bed.
"Wow... you're.. so prepared, and I haven't even thought about that stuff.."
He smiled at you, nuzzling the baby's cheek a few times simultaneously.
"I'll admit, it got me a little excited. I didn't think an old man like myself would get the chance to raise a child of my own flesh and blood. But never say never, I suppose. You have nothing to worry about, precious. What you don't know, I have already experienced."
"...Thank you for being so understanding, Lilia."
"Of course, dear, after all, we're a family now."
Bonus the one stipulation is that you will not and will not ever share the cooking duties with him. Silver makes you swear by it to avoid his own childhood traumas for his younger siblings.
Floyd Leech
You brace yourself for the inevitable flurry of excitement before knocking on Floyd's door.
"WHERE'S MY LITTLE SEA STARRRRRR~~~~" You hear from the other side of the door before the door flies open. You hand the baby off to Floyd, who's more than ecstatic.
"It's permanent," you sigh, hoping he's listening. "We have to take care of the baby now--"
"WheeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE" Floyd runs back and forth across the small room with the child, making faces all the while.
"Floyd!" You scold, finally breaking his stride.
"Ehh? I hear you, shrimpy, how can I not? It's ok, I have a plan. We'll love this baby with our whole hearts!"
"...That's the plan?"
"I spent two hours thinking of it, do you like it?"
"That child cannot stay here," A smooth voice cuts in. "This room is much too small for the two of us, let alone a third."
"Oh, hey Jade, didn't see ya come in," Floyd remarks casually. "And obviously I've thought of that. The baby will live in Ramshackle, because there's more space. It just needs some touch ups to be babyproof, is all."
"Touch-ups? It needs a whole remodel."
Floyd grins.
"Got an idea, shrimpy. Transfer to Octavinelle! Then the baby can share a room with you and we'll all be nearby!"
"Oh forget it, I'm asking Crowley to help me improve Ramshackle. Until then, you'll have to deal with the living arrangements." You put your hands on your hips and give Jade a look that means you'll raise hell if he doesn't agree to you and Floyd's half-baked plans.
"I suppose it wouldn't hurt, so long as it was temporary."
"YESSSSS!!!!!"
Floyd's excitement leads to him jumping on you.
"D'ya hear that, Shrimpy? That means you can stay here too. And we'll be one big happy family."
Sebek Zigvolt
"Sebek?" You gently knock on his door, after having been told he'd been doing nothing but pacing around all evening.
"Sebek," you call again, a bit louder.
The door swings open violently.
"What?? Who dare disturb my-- oh. Human." He ushers you into his room swiftly.
"You still have the child? When does it leave?" He asked quickly.
"It doesn't," You said bluntly, putting down the freshly bathed and swaddled bundle onto his bed.
"Don't touch----! Ugh.. Besides... What do you mean, 'it doesn't'? It's leaving, I will not have that thing associated with the Zigvolt name just because of some lowly human's stupid mistakes!"
If you weren't so exhausted, you would be shouting at a decibel rivaling his own.
"Sevens, Sebek, it's permanent, no way around it. I can't go back in time and change this-! You were the one reading off the ingredients anyway, how dare you blame this on me?" You challenge.
"Ah-ahh.. Well, why didn't you check yourself?? Do I need to do everything for you!?" He crossed his arms.
"No, but you do need to do your task, and competently!"
That seemed to shut him up.
"W-whatever. I cannot be a proper retainer to--"
"Fine. Then don't raise the baby at all, I'll take care of it. I never said you had to involved."
"...I.. Human, I didn't say that." His tone seems to soften. You know he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders in his mind but you still find it hard to excuse his poor behavior.
He sits down next to the baby, picking it up at arms length.
"It's cute, just a bit. But I pity it.. it has even less faerie blood than me."
"Is that the heart of this?" You question gently, knowing it's a sore subject.
"Yes, I suppose so.."
"Sebek. Your heritage doesn't define you, and it won't define our child. You are an amazing, devoted person, and you've worked hard to be the person you are, and that's really all that matters. You have no reason to be upset, or worried. We can make this work, I promise. And I promise that I'll there to help you get through this. That is, if you're willing to."
He sighs, taking your hand.
"I fear I am diluting my sullied bloodline more than it already is. The Zigvolt family works with the royal family as their right-hand consults and guards. It's been that way for generations. But who would want a fae so adulterated with human genetics by their side?"
"I don't think that's true. If you really think that's the case, then why is Silver allowed to train as a protector as well? Malleus and Lilia are equally respectful of you both. You don't have to give up your family's title and honor just because of this."
He stiffens, a proud smile on his face.
"You are right, human! I shall not let this get the best of me. I will raise my child to be as dutiful as me!"
You laugh, relieved that he's warming up to the idea of having a family.
You kiss him on the forehead, giving him a hug that encompasses the baby in the middle.
"I'll work hard at being a good father, I swear on it."
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-June 30th, 2023
-Kaori
3K notes · View notes
holllandtrash · 10 months
Text
fragile line | daniel ricciardo
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pairing: daniel ricciardo x driver!reader
You and I walk a fragile line I have known it all this time But I never thought I'd live to see it break
what happens when the driver daniel falls in love with, ends up being the one who brings his career to a screeching halt? word count: 7.7k (im so sorry) warnings/tags: fluff-ish, plot with implied/very little smut, angst, mclaren danny, zak brown (gross), some incorrect f2 stats but whatever, time jumps, really just a lot of angst, its a rollercoaster
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“What do you know?”
“What do you know?” Daniel repeated the question back to you, the emphasis making it clear as day that you both carried the same career-altering information. 
His signature grin and comforting optimism were nowhere to be seen. Instead, Daniel’s expression could be described in a variety of ways. Solemn, disappointed, hurt. 
“What was I supposed to do?” You asked, going straight to the defensive. You couldn’t be helpful in this scenario, you just needed to explain yourself. He wouldn’t understand it from your perspective, but you had to try. 
“Not take the seat,” he offered a solution, as if it was that simple. “My god, I mean, they’re cutting my contract early, Y/N. For you.”
“For the sake of the team,” you corrected. You had no say in this. McLaren had plenty of driver options for the 2023 season. There were rumours of Daniel’s contract coming to an end a year early anyway, everyone heard them, everyone ignored them. The only thing that remained uncertain for a while was who would replace him should the rumours be true.
You. 
“You don’t even like McLaren.” You told him, voice raising a little as if that helped get the point across. “You’ve struggled with this team since day one.”
“That doesn’t mean I want to stop racing.”
“McLaren is not the team for you and you know this.”
Daniel scoffed, eyebrows twitching, “Did Zak tell you to say that?”
It was a rhetorical question, but Daniel noticed the way your bottom lip quivered. He caught the way your eyes dropped from his, even just for a split second. There was something unspoken between you, something that weighed on your mind and Daniel stepped forward, wanting to know what exactly it was. 
“Zak-” you started, reluctant to even say this. “-he doesn’t know I’m here. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not supposed to talk to you or anyone about it, not until your announcement comes out.”
Here meaning Daniel’s flat in Monaco. The place you spent more nights at than your own. You played it off by saying his view was better but that was such a bullshit answer. Daniel’s flat always felt more like home than yours ever did. 
You had formally met the Australian driver a few years ago, but god did time fly. It was at a race in Monza. You could pretend you didn’t know the date but of course you did, you had it memorised. September 3rd, 2020. There was no way you could forget the day your life changed for the better. 
Or possibly, for the worse. It was up in the air at this point. 
You were new to the Formula 2 series. The only female driver on the grid as you raced with Prema alongside Mick Schumacher. F3 proved to be quite a successful stint for you and you had your eyes set on the coveted Formula 1 series. You wanted to be in the big leagues. 
Daniel saw that. He saw how determined you were to not only make waves in Motorsport, but to make something of yourself. You trained just as hard, if not harder than the other drivers in the junior series and Daniel had seen that for a while. He was often surprised to see you at the hotel gym, already working up a sweat when he walked in at a little after 6am. He would be even more surprised when he saw you there in the evening when other drivers went and called it a night or even went and celebrated. 
Your race weekends were the same as F1 weekends, but you just had limited ones. It was a shorter season, less intense, but whenever you were there. Daniel saw you. He saw you and he paid attention. He even rooted for you, very publicly as well whenever he could, despite the two of you never having exchanged a word. 
The first time you heard about Daniel cheering you on was after the Monaco race, quite early on into your first season. You qualified 7th, not ideal for a track like Monaco where the opportunities to overtake were far and few between, but somehow you did it. And then you did it again. And you could say it was luck but it was really smart strategy and an insane amount of driver skill that had you finishing fifth. In Monaco. 
Those were Daniel’s words. He was asked pre-race if he watched the F2 run and he said of course. He said he “wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” wanting to see what you could do this weekend. 
“It’s not luck, she’s incredibly talented,” Daniel had told the Sky Sports reporter. “She’s doing big things in the series, and I’m rooting for her. Truly. It’s rare a driver comes around with such raw natural talent, where you look at them and you know racing’s just in their blood, but it’s in hers. I would love to see her in Formula 1 one day.”
You watched that interview clip about twenty times. Daniel Ricciardo, the Daniel Ricciardo who had won Monaco a few years back, was complimenting you. He was rooting for you. 
It wasn’t until Monza, nearing the end of your season that he finally approached you. 
“I want to work with you,” Daniel said, straight to the point. You were in the middle of stretching in the hotel's fitness centre. It was only Thursday, the race weekend itself had barely started but Daniel knew he’d find you in there. 
You pulled your airpods out and looked up at him in the mirror, “You what?”
“I want to work with you,” Daniel repeated, this time sitting down on the floor next to you. He kept your stare in the reflection. “I’m not a trainer by any means, but I want to work with you. I want to see you in Formula 1.”
You were flattered, honoured really, but you didn’t know what that entailed. “Work with me how?”
“Well, regular fitness training for starters,” he said. “But managing, really. I want to help you with everything that it takes to move up. Media training, mental preparedness, finding sponsors, getting you in touch with the right people. Let me help you, Y/N.”
You weren’t sure what brought this on. Part of you was convinced it was because he knew this would look good on his behalf. If you did make it to Formula 1 and Daniel’s name was attached to yours, he’d look like a genius. A hero. He would be known as the first person from F1 to publicly support you. 
But that wasn’t what it was at all. When you agreed and accepted his help, you soon came to learn that Daniel didn’t want to be in your spotlight at all. He found the opportunities that you needed and then stepped back. He didn’t mention to the media at all that he was helping you, he didn’t see a need to. He saw your potential and he truly wanted to help you make something off.
So there he was during the off season, meeting you in London where you resided. He trained with you, set you up with the right people, did weekly check-ins, he really was like a sort of manager. 
He was there during pre-season testing the following year, literally. He stood in the Prema garage like he was just another member of the team. No one really questioned it, not when you said he was acting as a mentor to you. Everyone loved Daniel’s presence there and he was told he was welcome whenever. 
He was there during race weekends whenever he could find time in his own busy schedule. He was never there during the actual race, needing that time to prepare for his own, but he always watched from his drivers room or had someone in his ear updating where you were and what was happening.
He was there in Silverstone, when you crashed during Saturday's Sprint Race.
It was one of the last sessions of the day, Daniel had already finished qualifying and he was standing in the back of your garage, arms crossed over his chest, eyes glued to the screen. 
He was the first voice you heard when you spun, losing the breaks in mere seconds and all you could do was brace yourself for the impact of the barriers. 
“Tell me you’re okay.” Daniel’s voice came through your radio. Not your engineer, not your team principal. Daniel. “Say something, sweets, tell me you're okay.”
Sweets, he called you. But only ever in private, or in front of close friends. What started as a joke when you complained about him not having any sweets in his flat the first time you visited in Monaco, stuck. 
But everyone had access to the team radios. It could be heard by other engineers, other teams, fans even and those watching at home should F1TV choose to broadcast it.
Of course they did. They aired the exchange for everyone to hear and it spread like wildfire. It was all anyone on social media could talk about. 
“Say something, sweets. Tell me you’re okay.” 
“I’m okay,” you sputtered out, hands shaking as you unclenched them. It was an instinct to pull them off the steering wheel and tuck your arms to your chest, physically bracing where you could. 
“Good,” Daniel breathed out a very obvious sigh of relief. “Good.” He paused, and then with a quiet chuckle added, “What the fuck was that then?” 
You laughed in response, needing the humour at such a traumatic time. You had crashed before, but this was a bad one. You didn’t even need to step out of the vehicle to know you were lucky to not feel any immediate injuries, but there was a ringing in your ear and the adrenaline was preventing you from really understanding the damage your body had sustained. 
It wouldn’t have helped, though, to have gotten an earful, not like it was your fault anyway. It also wouldn’t have helped if you were asked again and again if you were okay. The more people asked, the more stressed you would grow. Daniel knew you needed a bit of lightheartedness at this time. 
“No brakes, Danny,” you answered through a soft laugh.
“That just sounds like an excuse to me,” he muttered, the sarcasm evident even through the crackling radio.
“Are you going to continue to question my driving abilities or are you going to send medical out here to help me?”
That whole interaction went viral. From the radio message, to the clips of Daniel accompanying you to the medical centre, to the photos of the two of you smiling in the paddock despite the bruising on your body, the concussion you were diagnosed with and the instruction from the doctor that you were not stable enough to race on Sunday.  
Which sucked, to put it plainly. But you were with Daniel. He made the situation bearable. With his arm around your shoulder, he walked you to the car at the end of the day, having waited with you the whole time. 
People speculated, of course. Questions were asked. 
Why was Daniel Ricciardo paying such close attention to you? Why did he get over the radio when he crashed? Why did it sound so flirty? Had he been in your garages the whole time and no one noticed? Was he a mentor? A friend? More?
You had put out a statement when you got to the hotel, thanking everyone for the kind words and well wishes. You shared that you would not be driving on Sunday and you also shared that you were thankful for the support of Daniel Ricciardo, your mentor, who reminded you that even the best of the best crash out sometimes. 
Mentor, you publicly called him That’s what he was, right? Or trainer. Or Manager. Or friend, really. There were a lot of words to describe his relationship to you. 
People online didn’t believe it. They thought there was more because, who looks at each other like that if they’re not fucking? 
But you weren’t. Honest to god, that line with Daniel was never crossed. You never even considered it. Always content with his companionship and his advice, you didn’t want anything physical or romantic. 
At least, you thought you didn’t. 
Daniel dragged you into his room instead of letting you go up to yours because you were under strict instructions to not be left alone for the next twelve hours should the concussion worsen. 
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, handing you a glass of water. “I know I joked over the radio, but I was worried. It wasn’t a pretty crash.”
“Are any crashes pretty?”
He sat down next to you, closer than normal considering when he rested his arm over the back of the couch, his fingers were within the distance needed to play with the strands of your hair. 
He sucked in a breath through his teeth, “I guess it depends on the driver. I make the crashes pretty.” 
The comedic gasp you let out as you clenched your chest had him laughing. 
“Daniel Ricciardo, are you calling me ugly?”
“Don’t twist my words!” He exclaimed, eyes squinting as his smile widened. “I said I was pretty.” 
You hummed, “You pretty much said I made the crush ugly.” 
“I didn’t say you were ugly,” Daniel playfully tugged on a strand of your hair. “You’re not- I mean, you-”
And then the humour faded. He met your eyes, his hand fell to your shoulder. He was still smiling but it was the sort of gentle smile one wears when they figure out the answer to a question that had been eating at them for a while. 
Something clicked for Daniel. At this very moment. 
He wasn’t going to let it escape him. 
“Pretty doesn’t do you justice,” Daniel told you, voice lowering. “You’re breaktaking, Y/N. On the racetrack, at home, at events, you put everyone around you to shame. And it’s not- it isn’t just your appearance, it’s you. Everything about you. Your heart, your charisma, the way your eyes light up when you smile but only if you’re talking to people you like,” he chuckled, having experienced it first hand and having seen the way you don’t look nearly as pleased when someone you dislike approaches you. 
You were speechless, though. Frozen where you sat as this admission came out of seemingly nowhere. 
And Daniel was attractive, that was an undeniable fact, he was everything anyone could ever want in a man. But you never allowed yourself to look at him the way other people would. He was your trainer, manager, mentor, friend. 
You had no words to explain the way he was staring at you now. Nor could you explain why it made you feel more alive than driving a racecar at inhumane speeds ever could. 
Daniel took another breath, eyes never leaving yours. “You are unlike anyone I have ever come across and I know, in my lifetime, I will never find someone who could ever compare to even a fraction of who you are.”
There was no way you could continue to be just friends after those words passed his lips. 
You kissed him. You had to. It wasn’t like there was anything you could say that would match what he had already said, nor could you even find the words. 
You kissed him and Daniel pulled you onto his laps, your legs moving to straddle either side of his hips. His hands roamed your body, sliding up the Prema shirt you still had on as your tongue roamed every possible inch of his mouth. 
His hand gripped your waist, rolling you over top of him so you could feel in a matter of seconds how this conversation had now taken a turn. His cock started to harden, constricted by his pants, but you still felt it underneath you each time he shifted, each time you grinded against him. 
When you reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, Daniel leaned back, both of you taking that second to catch your breath and question if you were really going to do this.
“Is this a mistake?” You whispered, your thumb gently tracing over his lips. Your working relationship was perfect. This could ruin everything. You had fears, doubts, worries. One night could lead to dozens of complications. 
But Daniel shook his head and all of those thoughts vanished.
“No,” he said, sounding so sure of himself with that one syllable. “I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life but you are not one of them.”
That was the only validation you needed. You kissed him again, more lust, more passion, than before as Daniel stood up, carrying you towards the bed at the back of the room. He dropped you down on the edge of it, smiling at the squeal that escaped your lips.
Daniel wanted to worship you every way he could. He was gentle with you, with your body, as he dipped his head between your thighs, making you feel a wave of euphoria that no one had ever brought you too before. 
It wasn’t until you were begging for more did Daniel realise he didn’t need to be gentle the entire night. He slid two fingers past your folds, lifting his head and hovering his body over yours, wanting to feel your desperate breaths hit his face as he rapidly thrusted his digits in and out of you, your walls clenching around him.
When he attached his lips to that spot on your neck, his teeth pressing against your skin, you saw stars. Daniel’s motions didn’t let up as you came around his fingers, loving the way your legs shook and how you dragged your hand through the hair on the back of his head.
He was cautious about doing anything else, knowing you were injured, he didn’t want to overstimulate you or cause any more pain. 
But you needed him. You reached for the zipper of his pants and tugged it down, telling Daniel you wanted this, as if the way you looked up at him didn’t already make that perfectly clear. 
He was careful when he entered you, patient. The tip of his cock slid past your folds slowly and he kissed your collarbone so gently you almost didn’t feel it as you adjusted to his size, quiet moans emitting from the back of your throat. 
He had praised you before, but only ever at the race track, so there was something so familiar yet so foreign about the way he whispered against your skin. It lit a fire within you.
“You take me so well, sweets,” he fought back a groan as your walls tightened around him when you clenched your legs. “So good for me.”
It was safe to say the dynamic between you two changed after that night. 
Daniel adored you already, admired you greatly for your achievements and growth in the sport. But now he fought with himself every weekend, knowing that he couldn’t touch you how he wanted. He couldn’t show you the attention he so desperately wanted. He couldn’t kiss you when you got that podium in Belgium, despite finding a way to sneak out of the pre-race duties for a second to run to the barrier to be there for you with the rest of the Prema team. 
Whatever was going on between you, it was unlabelled and it was private. The rest of the world didn’t need to know you were sleeping with the man you looked up to, the one who helped you become a great athlete in such a short period of time. 
People continued to speculate. You were private, sure, but you weren’t overly careful. 
You were seen landing in Monaco over the summer. You were spotted hanging out with Daniel on plenty of occasions. Even though you kept your hands off of each other and refused to act like anything more than friends out in public, you were different when you returned after the break. You both were. Everyone noticed. 
Daniel was, if it was even possible, happier. And you were less stressed it seemed. While you were still fighting a constant battle of being the only female in F2, it no longer seemed as heavy because the weight of it wasn’t just on your shoulders anymore. Daniel was there too. 
It wasn’t just physical, what you had. The emotional connection you shared was undeniable. Daniel was always there for you, and you, him. During the bad days, the good ones, and everyday in between. 
When you finished the season 5th in the drivers championship, the only person you wanted to celebrate with was Daniel. He was so proud of you. He watched you go from finishing 13th last year to 5th. He played a huge part in that, but when you tried to tell him that, he only brushed it off, saying that it was all you, he was just happy to be there for the ride. 
It was his idea for you to test drive for McLaren at the end of the year, too. ‘We’ll get you in a real F1 car’ he said. And you didn’t question it when the offer was brought forward to participate in a few practice sessions. It was exhilarating and terrifying and you cried tears of joy when you stepped out of his car because this was what you dreamed of. Driving a Formula 1 car. 
Now you just needed a permanent seat and Daniel wanted that for you too. He was your biggest supporter, and you only grew closer as the days went on.
You met his family over the holidays. He spent New Years Eve in London with you. 
When the season started again, he spent more time with you and Prema. When there were no scheduled F2 races during F1 weekends, you accompanied him in the McLaren garage. 
At this point, quite a few people knew you were together, or at least they assumed it.
You didn’t post about it, you didn’t want to, you didn’t need to. Daniel didn’t need to show you off, nor did you feel obligated to let everyone know you were with him. What you had was private, it was sacred, it was only for the two of you. 
But of course whenever you had a good performance, whether it be from a practice session, qualifying or a race, he’d share your celebration picture to his Instagram story. 
“Would you ever do a shoey?” Daniel asked you one Tuesday night, zooming in on a photo of you, more specifically on the smile on your face as you clenched your second place trophy from Imola on Sunday. 
You rolled your eyes but the smile was impossible to hide as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you into his chest. 
“Next time you win,” Daniel suggested with a laugh. “I expect a shoey.”
“I’m not Australian.”
“You’re dating one, sweets.”
You never actually discussed what you were. The term boyfriend-girlfriend seemed so childish. Dating was, in a sense, accurate, but again, there were no labels. He had your heart, you had his. That was the only thing that mattered. 
“The world doesn’t know that,” you pointed out. 
“They kind of do,” Daniel kissed your cheek, giving your side a squeeze as he stepped aside to help you prepare dinner. 
You weren’t even sure when you fell into such a domestic lifestyle but there you were, practically moved into Daniel’s place in Monaco at this point  and he was at your side, chopping carrots for the salad while you prepared the chicken breasts. 
“A shoey would confirm it,” you glanced up at him, but the smile on his face told you he wasn’t completely against the idea. 
Daniel stepped behind you, fingers playfully pinching your waist, “Just think about it. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I just reckon it would be entertaining for everyone.”
He didn’t bring it up again, not even when you got third in Spain and didn’t do it. It was your first time getting a back to back podium since you started racing and of course it was something to celebrate, but the idea of a shoey made your stomach churn. You weren’t sure if you were ready for the world to know about your commitment to Daniel. 
You walked a thin line, being with him. And while you enjoyed every possible minute spent with him, you knew the world was cruel. The second you officially went public, you’d lose respect in the motorsport industry. 
The only female F2 driver dating an F1 driver? How scandalous.
Despite the rumours, the correct rumours, you were still in a bubble with him. You could pretend you were just friends, close friends. The tabloids had nothing to go off except your polite interactions and maybe a little too friendly smiles and so what if you were there in the McLaren garage cheering him on? 
You were his biggest supporter and he was yours.
But it didn’t help that while your performance was improving, his was rapidly declining. While you had less races than his, already your stats were better. You qualified in the top 5 for the first three races. You finished second in Imola, third in Spain, already better than how you started the season last year.
Monaco was next. Daniel loved Monaco, you both did. Everyone did, it was the pinnacle of Formula 1. 
It was unfortunate that your weekends ended up so drastically different. 
Daniel qualified 14th and then finished 13th. He wasn’t proud of it, but he did his best to hide his disappointment for you, especially since you were starting on the front row, P2, for the feature race. 
And somehow, you won. 
After trailing behind Drugovich for the majority of the race, you were starting to believe you would finish behind him too. And you probably would have, had there not been a safety car almost six laps after he boxed for fresh tyres, giving you the advantage of newer tyres and less wasted time. It was a strategy your team was banking on, waiting for a safety car. It was risky, but it paid off. Overtaking was nearly impossible with Formula 1 cars, but you had a better chance in your series and somehow, by the grace of god, you did it. You pulled ahead and swiped the lead from Felipe. 
You made history that weekend. The first female F2 driver to not only podium, but to win at Monaco. You gripped that first place trophy so tight your hand turned red. 
Usually, F2 didn’t draw nearly as big of a crowd, but this weekend was different. Everyone was a fan of the series after that performance, a fan of you. You saw people in the crowd wearing Red Bull gear, Ferrari merch, McLaren hats, and they were all applauding you. 
Of course, you were blown away by the support. Hearing your national anthem play was an incredible sound. There were tears in your eyes and your entire body was trembling, yet somehow you managed to find Daniel. Right in front, with your team. 
He was so proud of you. 
Despite his shitty qualifying, despite knowing he had such a low shot at earning points at his race that was in just under an hour, he was there for you. You couldn’t tell if he was cheering the loudest, or if you were just so prone to finding him in a crowd that you couldn’t process anything or anyone else. 
You weren’t sure what came over you, but once you grabbed the champagne bottle, you found yourself taking your shoe off as well. As Felipe and Théo started spraying their bottles in celebration, you poured the bubbly liquid into the sole of your racing shoe and lifted it up to your lips, pointing directly at Daniel who couldn’t believe what he was watching. 
It was rancid, as you figured it would. It was champagne out of a sweaty shoe, you knew it wouldn’t taste good, but it was a shoey and it was for Daniel. Felipe patted your back, laughing at your reaction and muttering something about how Daniel would get a kick out of that. 
He was right, but Daniel wasn’t the only one who found it entertaining. 
Your name was once again trending following the Monaco Grand Prix. Not Checo’s, even though he won the F1 race. Your name. 
Not that you really cared that night. How could you care about what the internet was saying when the man you were with told you that he loved you for the first time? Nothing online mattered, not when Daniel took your face in his hands and told you he was madly in love with you. He was proud, he was happy, he was in love. 
And you knew you loved him too. You had known this for a while. Monaco was just the perfect time to say it. 
After going about as public as you could without physically coming out and saying you were dating the Australian driver, Monaco was the perfect place to tell him you loved him. You were on cloud 9, you were making history, you were in love. 
You continued to deny, or at least ignore, the rumours that followed, still. You both did. You were in love with each other, not the whole world. Things would get complicated if you announced you were dating. You were vying for a Formula 1 seat and you wanted it without Daniels’ influence. 
But at the following race in Baku you were asked similar questions. 
“Your shoey last week, did that have anything to do with Daniel Ricciardo being there to cheer you on? You two have gotten pretty close in the last few months, he’s one of your mentors, isn’t he?” 
You shifted your weight to one leg, wondering what the fuck kind of post-qualifying question that was. You had just completed three back to back podiums, you were on a hot streak now, starting third at this next race and the reporter only cared about what happened at the podium celebration last weekend.
“Sorry, did you have a question about this week's race?” You asked, and when he stammered over his words, you just nodded and walked away, a tight smile on your face. 
Daniel’s conversation went a bit differently. 
“Y/N’s shoey last week, we all saw it. Was that your influence?”
“Yeah I never thought she’d actually do it, it was sweet,” Daniel laughed. “It was great though, I happily pass the tradition onto her.”
“She’s really come along in Formula 2 since she started back in 2020, do you think she has what it takes to be Formula 1’s first full-time female driver?”
“Absolutely,” there wasn’t a shred of doubt or hesitation. He was happy to talk about you, to explain to the rest of the world why you were up and coming and should be taken seriously as a real contender for a Formula 1 seat. He probably would have continued on if his PR rep hadn’t pulled him away, reminding him of other duties.
The next few races were similar to your first ones. A couple more podiums, some outstanding qualifying sessions, more history being made. Your phone was blowing up weekly, everybody wanted to talk to you now and you knew Daniel had something to do with it. Him constantly sharing the faith he had in you did wonders for your reputation. 
You might have been on top of the world, but you were well aware you were alone up there.
Daniels’ performances were anything but newsworthy. He had gotten a few points in Austria and France, but nothing to be extremely proud of, especially when he compared his 9th place finish at the Red Bull Ring to your first place podium, making it your second one this season. 
He never let his disappointment for himself and McLaren stand in the way of your achievements. In fact, you didn’t often speak about the races when you were together. You were aware Daniel was having issues with the team, with Zak, with the car, but he didn’t want to weigh you down with his own problems, even though you assured him time and time again you could handle it. 
Really, if Daniel had come to you with his struggles, you would have thought twice when Zak Brown approached you prior to the Hungarian Grand Prix. You probably would have slammed the door to your drivers room in his face if you knew how Daniel was being treated at McLaren. 
But Daniel held his cards close to his chest while Zak laid his all out on the table.
“If a spot opened up for you,” he said, after spending the last ten minutes talking about the rich history of the team and praising your accolades. “Would you consider it?”
It wasn’t an official contract, just the start of a conversation that could lead to one.
Of course you thought of Daniel. And Lando, having grown close with him simply through Daniel. 
“For 2024?” You asked, knowing both of them were set to continue driving through to at least the end of 2023. 
“No,” Zak shook his head. You didn’t like how harsh his tone had turned, having no remorse for what he was about to say. “Daniel’s contract would be ending early.”
You leaned back in your chair, fingers tapping the table as you tried to recall Daniel ever telling you that he was leaving McLaren. “Is he- he wants out?”
“It’s mutual,” Zak assured you. “He knows we can’t give him the car he wants and unfortunately, he’s not delivering what we need. We had high hopes with Daniel, but the working relationship isn’t what any of us thought it would be.”
It’s mutual. Those two words was all it took to convince you that Zak Brown and Daniel had already had a conversation about this, about terminating the contract a year early. 
It didn’t help that Zak brought up your test sessions in the McLaren from last year, pointing out that you had better times than Lando, even. He went on to praise what you were doing this year at Prema and said, multiple times, that you would be an asset to McLaren should you choose to go that route.
And who were you to turn that down?
A team principal of a Formula 1 team wanted to sign you. Was it unfortunate that it was Daniel’s seat? Yes, obviously this situation was less than ideal, but he wanted out. You were convinced he wanted out, that he was done with McLaren. A 45 minute conversation with Zak Brown convinced you of that.
You should have been wary when at the end of the conversation he said, “Don’t tell anyone about this, yet. You know how the public can be, let’s just keep this to ourselves for the meantime.”
“But I can talk to Dan, right?” You asked. 
Zak knew you were dating Daniel, it was a little harder to hide that from his team than it was the rest of the world. Maybe that’s why hesitated before answering, knowing that keeping a secret, something as big as this, from a partner had the potential to cause chaos.
But he shook his head, “Between us, yeah?”
And you listened to him. You wanted that Formula 1 seat so of course you followed orders. 
You desperately wanted to talk to Daniel about it, but you knew you couldn’t. And either he sensed that something was off, or he was dealing with his own problems again and wouldn’t share, you really couldn’t tell when the summer break started and things just seemed…different. 
You didn’t go to Monaco for starters, even though Daniel invited you to. But there were so many meetings with Zak and the board at McLaren that it made more sense for you to stay in London for the start of the break. 
Daniel didn’t call as often and you wanted to give him space, knowing that this break was probably needed for him. You expected he was out with friends, letting loose, getting the weight of a horrible season off his back even if just temporarily. 
The plan was to go to Monaco for the last week and a half and then travel to Belgium together. You had to delay that plan, however, when Zak called you and said it was official.
The 2023 seat was yours. 
You wanted to celebrate, with Daniel, but how could you celebrate with the person you were replacing?
It was strange that Daniel had said nothing to you about leaving the team during the summer break, especially since Zak had said time and time again they were on the same page, that Daniel was ready to leave. The only thing that crossed your mind was he was given strict instructions to not say anything to anyone either, at least until McLaren went public with the news. 
But with it being official, with you having just signed on the dotted line, you were tired of keeping it to yourself. You may not have been able to share the news with anyone else, but you had a right to have a conversation with Daniel about it.
You didn’t know how he would react. Surely he’d be happy for you, right? You were getting a seat in Formula 1, something that both of you desperately wanted to happen. And again, you were under the impression the departure from McLaren was mutual. He would be happy that someone he loved was taking his seat, right?
Right?
You had to tell yourself that the entire ride over to his place. You unlocked the front door to his building and took the elevator up to the fourth level. You didn’t think to knock, knowing he never locked it when he was home so you pushed open the door and stepped in, your suitcase trailing behind you.
You were happy to see him. He was always a breath of fresh air, despite the odd distance between you, you still loved him. You always would. He muted whatever was playing on the screen and stood up from the couch when he heard you walk in.
Usually, Daniel would greet you with a kiss.
Usually, he’d be smiling so hard his jaw would be hurting.
Usually, he was happy to see you.
You left the suitcase by the door and met him halfway, only he stopped walking when there was about a foot of space between your bodies. To you, it felt like you were still miles apart.
“Do you have something you want to tell me?” He asked, arms crossed over his chest. 
Your heart sank. 
You had convinced yourself, Zak had convinced you, the whole back of house team had convinced you, that Daniel was aware of this upcoming change. That the termination was mutual. You taking his seat might have been a surprise, but it was never supposed to be a blindside.
“What do you know?” you asked. 
“What do you know?” Daniel repeated the question back to you.
You were both fully aware of the exact same information. Daniel was leaving. You were taking his seat. Only, you had been informed this much earlier than he had.
“What was I supposed to do?” 
“Not take the seat,” he scoffed. “My god, I mean, they’re cutting my contract early, Y/N. For you.”
“For the sake of the team,” you said and then added, “You don’t even like McLaren. You’ve struggled with this team since day one.”
“That doesn’t mean I want to stop racing.”
“McLaren is not the team for you and you know this.”
Daniel scoffed, eyebrows twitching, “Did Zak tell you to say that?”
“Zak-” you started, finding it difficult to hold his stare. This wasn’t the Daniel you knew. “-he doesn’t know I’m here. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not supposed to talk to you or anyone about it, not until your announcement comes out.”
He rubbed his hands over his face, taking a few steps away from you. It hurt, watching as he tried to physically distance himself from you. Like being in too close of proximity would set him off.
“I struggled with the team, yes, but I’m not ready to give up racing. You have now left me without a seat.”
It was easy for Daniel to blame you, you were standing right in front of him. You were quite literally the driver set to replace him.
But the real villain was Zak, for not having opened up this line of communication earlier. For making you believe everyone was on the same page. It was Zak’s fault for rushing to end the contract with Daniel instead of putting in the effort to work with him. He saw the shiny new toy that was you, that Daniel helped create, and he wasn’t going to let someone else take it first.
Daniel wanted to blame himself too, but he wouldn’t let himself think about that until much later. He was the one who did everything he could to help you grow in this sport. He was the one who introduced you to Zak and the rest of the McLaren team. He was the one who got you in the car for the practice sessions, his car. Foreshadowing at its finest.
“You are unbelievable,” Daniel spoke quietly, heated with anger but his words were like ice as they sunk deep into you. “After everything I’ve done to help you for you to betray me like this, I just- I don’t think-”
You knew where this was going and you wanted to put a pin in it before he could finish any of his thoughts.
“Don’t finish that sentence, Daniel,” you whispered. “Please. Please, we can figure something out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out,” his mind was made up. “You took my seat.”
“Wouldn’t you rather it me than someone you don’t know? Someone you don’t trust?” You tried to turn this around, have him look at the positives, if there were any. “Daniel, everyone on the grid loves you, you’ll find a new team. One that helps you grow and get to where you want. McLaren isn’t that, we both know it.”
“I think you should go,” was his only response. 
“If I hadn’t signed that contact, someone else would have,” you pointed out, grasping at straws here, painfully honest straws, but straws nonetheless. “Piastri, O’Ward…McLaren had options, Dan. Aren’t you at least happy for me that I out-qualified all of those guys?”
Daniel actually laughed, “You want me to be happy for you? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Dan-”
“Leave.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“You need to,” he was stern. He was angry. He was done. With you, with the team, with everything he used to love and cherish. He was done. 
You thought you knew Daniel. You thought you knew how this conversation would play out. You figured it would still be rocky, but god you now realised how naive you were to believe you could still make things work. 
“I love you,” you told him, because what else could you say except remind him that you were so hopelessly in love with him, that he was all you would ever want in life. 
Except, that wasn’t exactly true, was it?
You wanted a seat in Formula 1 too. You just never thought you’d have to sacrifice one dream for the other. 
Daniel’s stare was cold. He only looked away for a second to nod his head towards the door behind you, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have done this.”
You stepped forward, desperate at this point because how could he do this? How could he throw away what you had, over a seat?
Or was it you, who had ultimately thrown away what you had when you sat down with Zak Brown all those weeks ago?
It pained you to think about the strong possibility of that being the case.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, because you were. You were sorry about how this turned out, how he was betrayed, how this was coming to an end. You grabbed hold of your suitcase and nodded, backing up towards the door, “I really am sorry, Dan.”
He didn’t believe you. Why would he? In his eyes, Formula 1 was more important to you than he was. A career decision that benefited you, but ruined him, mattered more than your relationship. It was a bold move, a cold move, one that you didn’t think would lead to this.
Neither of you could have predicted this. On September 3rd, 2020, when Daniel first said he wanted to work with you, neither of you thought it would end like this.
Just as you grabbed the handle of the door, Daniel opened his mouth, wanting to get the final word in. And you really wished he hadn’t because those final words destroyed you. 
“I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, but I never thought you would turn out to be one of them.”
You said nothing. You walked out of that Monaco flat with your head low and your heart even lower. You couldn’t even be excited about the next season, or the remainder of this one where you had the potential to finish in the top three. 
You weren't happy, you were empty, you were defeated. And painfully so, you were also still in love.
Despite what was said, you knew it would take a while to get over Daniel. He was your rock for so long, he was always there for you and even though he could disappear without so much as a second thought, your feelings couldn’t, the memories couldn’t. It would take a long time until you felt whole again.
You didn’t know it yet, but the decision to take that McLaren seat would haunt you as you moved forward in your career. 
This was not going to be the last time you ever saw Daniel. 
part 2 haunted
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enhafilthandfiction · 8 months
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I'm not a Perv, just Crushing on you - Yang Jungwon ☆
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A/N : Here is the ask for this post. I love this idea lmao had to turn it into a fic! Tbh it's probably one of my favourite fics 🤭🤭
Summary : Your brother's best friend might seem like a pervert, but he's not. He just likes you a little too much not to look down your shirt. What happens when he gets jealous of a guy you flirted with at your family's get together party?
Pairing : BrothersBestFriend!Junwon X Fem!Reader
Warnings : Shy Jungwon and reader, mentions of Jungwon being slightly pervy, teasing, first shared kiss, Confession from Jungwon, groping, unprotected sex, Jungwon unzipping reader's dress, grinding, slight fingering, cumming inside, slight pillow talk? and hints of another round at the end. Enjoy ;)
Word Count : 2.5K Words
Masterlist
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Jungwon didn't expect you to be here. Not at a stupid annual family get together party. He's been forced to attend to this party all these years yet he's never seen you around. How come you're attending now? All of a sudden? Maybe this party wasn't as bad after all.
He eyes you from the distance. You were his best friend's sister, the girl that he happens to have a crush on. The first time he saw you was at your house, the first time he came over to game with your brother. Your older brother, Sunghoon, had mentioned you before, but when Jungwon saw you for the first time- fuck, he wasn't even focused on the game anymore.
You were everything he'd ever dreamed of. Cute and shy with blushed cheeks as you introduced yourself. Voice delicate and soft, eyelashes batting up at him. He knew you were going to be the death of him.
That day he kept getting excuses. "Uh Sung, may I use the restroom?" he had asked, hoping to bump into you in the corridors or something. With the go ahead of your brother, he'd made it out of the room and was left alone to wander, luckily finding your room on his first try.
He was also pretty shy himself, gently opening your door pretending he was lost. "Uh h-hi, I got lost tryna find the bathroom" he blurts out under his breath catching your attention. You look up and smile, getting off your bed and leading him to the bathroom. That's when he thanked you and a little conversation sparked. Who knew that wouldn't be the only conversation between the two of you?
Jungwon knew it was bad. Against the bro-code or whatever. But he didn't care. He had to have you. The next day he was brave enough to text you, easily finding you from your brother's 'following list' on insta. You were delighted as you accepted his follow request and headed to the messages section to find that he'd sent you a message.
From then, he had started hitting on you, hinting his crush on you and trying to get closer but still keeping it lowkey to your brother. All these months he'd kept it all inside of him because he wasn't sure if you fancied him back and feared that you would tell you brother.
You never really seemed to lead him on; until summer. Without no school he started coming over way more than usual. And you started liking him. You've started noticing how cute he looked with messy hair after he's crashed your home couch or how he bit his lower lip in concentration as he tried to beat your brother in Mario Cart.
You started wearing low cut tops around him just to show off your cleavage or shorter shorts just so that your ass hangs out a little. It was driving Jungwon insane. You new it. He would only take one glance at you and look away, cheeks flushed as he swallows.
But he was a slight pervert too. You'd catch him look your way at some point, then look away real quick, hoping you didn't notice. But you did. You have been all along. You were finally understanding all those texts from him. He had been hitting on you.
Which is why now, after hearing you brother say that he's going to meet up with Jungwon at this boring party, you weren't going to miss the opportunity. You put on your favourite dress and put down your hair and got ready for the party. Which is why now
He eyes you from the distance. He notices what you wore and wonders if you wore that dress just for him. He notices your gorgeous smile and he smiles too, until he sees why you're smiling.
Kim Jong-fucking-hoo. That dude from school. He was in Jungwon's class the past years and he's always been a bully. You shouldn't be talking to him. Mainly because you should be talking to Jungwon but also because Jonghoo is a bad influence.
You notice Jungwon from the corner of your eye and as you look to the side you offer him a little smile, only to turn back to the other guy. Jungwon wonders what he should do. He knows you're teasing him by the way you keep glancing at him but he's not sure if he should approach you.
That's until you place your arm on Jonghoo's biceps, laughing about something that wasn't exactly funny. Jungwon looses it. He makes his way over to you both and snatches you away from that jerk.
"She's my girlfriend" is the only excuse Jungwon brings up when the other dude complains when he takes you away. His grip on your hand is strong as he leads you up the strairs, not really sure where he's going.
"Woah woah, slow down Won" he loves it when you call him that. "Where are we going?" you ask, eyes wide "Also, I'm not your girlfriend!". He sighs and walks you into the nearest room he finds which happens to be someone's bedroom. He locks the door behind you two and faces you.
"Why were you teasing me?" he asked you eyebrows furrowed. Before you can say anything he cuts you off "Don't pretend you weren't. You have been all this time. The shirts and the shorts and, and the texts-"
You look down almost in shame but then remember that he's been noticing and looking this whole time. "So you are a little bit perverted huh? If you weren't you wouldn't be looking at my shirts and shorts all the time" you accused crossing your arms.
He sighs to himself and without thinking he just says what he has to say "I'm not a pervert y/n, I just kinda.. like you" he blurts out with difficulty. You almost think he's messing around until he says it again. "I mean, you've probably noticed I've been hitting on you all this time so it shouldn't be a surpris-"
You cut him off, pressing your lips onto his and pushing him up against the wall. Your arms move all over him, making sure it's not a dream. He kisses you back eagerly after he gets over the little shock.
He pulls away for a quick second "Wait, so you like me back?" he ask out of breath. You nod and desperately connect again, your lips on his. This time he places his hands on your hips and flips you, so that you're the one against the wall. You smile into the kiss already enjoying this new side of him.
You place your hands on his biceps and feel how firm they are. Who would've thought that your brother's shy best friend was buff? As your mind started wondering what he could do to you with his strength, he places his hands right below your ass, picking you up.
You wrap your legs around his waist and as if he read your mind, he walks you to the bed. He chuckles as he places you down on it gently, and as you're settling in he takes off his shirt. A new chuckle leaves his lips as he sees you staring, but he doesn't want to embarrass you.
He climbs onto the bed atop of you and decides to kiss you again. During the kiss, he grabs your hand and places it somewhere near his abs. When you pull away for breath he sits up on his knees, your hand still against his abs. "You can touch, you know?" he smiles, loving the way you're so mesmerized by his abs. Guess the gym with Sunghoon was worth it.
You catch him staring at the cleavage of the dress, almost undressing you with his eyes. "Here I'll take it off" you say, offering a little smile. You get off the bed but as you stand you realise you won't be able to reach the zipper yourself.
"Uhh, mind if you unzip me?" you ask shyly, awkwardly waiting for him to unzip your dress. His face brightens at your request. He gets behind you and runs his hands along your back before finding the little zipper, lowering it slowly.
Once unzipped, he places his hands into the dress, around your waist. You let the straps of the dress fall from your shoulders, the garment finally falling to the floor at your ankles.
You let your intrusive thoughts win as you take a step back and angle your ass out, subtly grinding on him. "Fuck" is all he can mumble under his breath before grinding back into you, his hands on your hips, fucking your clothed pussy.
"P-please Won, need you i-inside" you whine. He already felt good clothed, just imagine how he'd feel deep inside you. He obliges, with his hands still on your hips, he turns around, making you rest your hands on the mattress.
With just your hands at the edge of the bed supporting you, you were at his mercy. He leans down, his chest against your back, pecking the back of your neck with little kisses. Then when he actually realises this is about to happen he realises that he doesn't have any rubbers on him.
"Uh y/n, I wasn't really prepared and I uh- I don't have a condom on me" he says shamefully. You just wriggle your ass against him teasingly.
"It's fine, I wanted you to cum inside anyway" you admit, making him curse under his breath. He could've sworn he felt his dick twitch at your statement.
Without thinking twice, he slid down his pants along with his underwear, his cock springing up almost against his abdomen. You couldn't help but turn around to take a look, your gaze making him blush. You were right, a pretty boy must have a pretty cock.
"Shit, you're so big" you compliment "Can't wait to have it in me" you giggle as you notice it twitch. He breathes in, his face feeling too warm. When you turn back around and wriggle your ass again, he knows he shouldn't waste more time.
He presses two of his fingers against your clit circling around before sliding down your lips, rubbing you over your soaked panties. The way you squirm around makes him want more, suddenly sliding your panties to the side so he could really admire your glistening core.
"You're so fucking wet" he curses under his breath when he lets his fingers ghost over your now-bare pussy. And you were wet, drenched actually. You were so wet for him that it felt like you were menstruating or something. But it was only arousal for him.
He experimentally dipped one of his fingers into you, wanting to see how tight you actually were. He sucked in a breath as he realised you're way tighter than he had imagined. Impatient, he pulled his fingers out gently, bringing them to his mouth before sucking them clean.
"You taste so good" he notes, licking your arousal off his fingers. "If I wasn't so desperate to fuck you I'd eat you out right now" but he was too needy at the moment and his dick almost started hurting with neglect.
"Ready?"
"Mhm" you hum back, mentally preparing yourself to finally take your brother's best friend after all this time.
He breathes in as he moves your panties to the side, giving himself a few strokes before pushing his red tip into your entrance. Even that was already big enough for you, already clenching around the little he gave you.
"Stop clenching like that y/n or I'll cum" he warned, not wanting to ruin it for both of you. You tried your best to just relax and take all of him, shutting your eyes tight at the slight sting of him pushing inside.
It's not like you were a virgin or anything, but he was probably the biggest you've ever taken so far. You sigh out in union as he finally stills inside you, letting you adjust to his size a little bit before starting to actually fuck you.
You were making it a little difficult for him to stay still, your cunt squeezing him like it has its own mind. "C-Can I please move?" he asks, hoping you'd give him the green light.
"P-please" you plead, squeezing around him one more time. He grips your hips tightly, starting to fuck into you. His eyes shut tightly as he gets lost in the way you feel. Fuck, this was a million times better than his stupid fist.
"Mm, you, you feel s-so good around me" he stutters in pleasure, the pressure on his dick making it difficult for him to speak. He tried to calm himself down, not wanting to cum too quick and ruin it for the both of you. But with the way you kept squeezing him in, gripping him like a vice, it was almost impossible.
His hips start snapping against yours, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room for a few moments. "A-ah Won, fucking me so good" you praise, trying your best to speak. He was just so deep in you, and so so close.
He dipped his head forward, lips pressing kissing along your back to the back of your neck, making you moan out for him. You could feel him squeeze your hips as you clenched around him, trying to ground himself.
"Shit Y/n, I-I'm close" he warned, almost embarrassed at how fast he's cumming,
But you weren't so far behind either. "S-same" you manages out, vision hazy as your orgasm approached you. His brows furrowed in focus, picking up his pace a little and chasing his orgasm.
When he felt right at the edge, he placed his fingers on your clit, wanting to cum together. With just a few triggering rubs on your clit, you were clenching around him, your arms giving out as you creamed all over his cock.
With a few more of your squeezes he was cumming too, hot spurts of his release filling you up. All he could do was curse under his breath before pulling out gently and laying beside you breathlessly.
You rolled onto your back, your arms now touching. You had already regained your breath a little, having finished before him. "You okay Won?" you asked, checking up on him. But he wasn't quite back yet. He interlaced his pinky finger to yours to show you that he's heard you, before sighing out.
His eyes suddenly open and he turns to his side, facing you. "How was it? Did you feel good?" he asked, wanting to make sure you're satisfied.
"Amazing actually" you replied, smiling to yourself.
He sighed contently and closed his eyes again until you speak once more. "I can still feel your cum inside me" you mumble, feeling it trickle out of your hole.
"Fuck, don't say things like that or you'll make me pop another boner" he warns.
"Maybe I want that" you smile cheekily. "How about we go shower?" you ask hopefully, an evil grin on your face.
"Oh yeah, I'm definitely going to get another boner"
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Thankyou for reading to the end! I hope you enjoyed it :D Have a good day/night and remember that ily! <333
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lydiimae · 23 days
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Gentle
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Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, panic attack, fluff hehe, Anthony being the sweet husband ik he is
A.N: Hello my loves and hello dearest anon ^-^/! This one is a bit on the shorter side (2.5k words) but I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope I gave you what you wanted Nonnie. I imagine Anthony (I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE SEASON 3 MARRIED ANT AND KATE) as a protective and loving husband, who is also extremely gentle when he wants to be. Also, Infatuation pt two is in the works, for those that are eager (thank you btw <3 T-T) it should be out by next week at the latest. P.S I am planning on uploading at least twice a week hehe! Enjoy my dears! <3
Req found here <3
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Marrying a Viscount was always going to be stressful, it came with responsibility. As well as a certain necessity to be perfect, at least that is the thought that nagged you. It was only a matter of time before the stress of being Anthony Bridgerton's wife caught up to you.
You had honeymooned in Edinburgh and Bath, all of the usual quiet places. He wished to make it just that, quiet and peaceful as both of you knew that would be one of the only times you would live in that blissful silence. Without worry of gossip, or rumors, or responsibilities.
Anthony also knew that you had a tendency to be anxious. Whether it be a result of how many people were present at a ball, or the rumors that tended to linger in your mind even after they slowly washed away from others. He wanted to show you the sights, and the gorgeous nature that was present in both of the cities that he had selected.
He also wished to show you the city of Bath. Take you to one of the large Roman baths, parade you around town, and wander the hills for hours on end. All lovely things that had taken your mind away from the lingering anxieties of being the new Viscountess.
It had worked marvelously, you had been the happiest he had seen you ever since you had met. You were completely in your element, especially when you were outside. It was a very loving, and freeing six months away.
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Your leg jiggles as you fiddle with your gloves, looking out the window of the carriage as it rolls down the road to Aubery Hall. As soon as you had gotten back to England, your anxieties flooded back into your mind. You were already dreading what was going to happen. You and Anthony were already planning to attend a ball tomorrow, the first one of your marriage.
You hated it, you knew that people would talk, the women would glare and whisper, perhaps even confront you. You did not want to deal with it. You wished to be back in Bath, having a picnic with your husband, far away from the gossip.
You feel a hand on your knee and turn. "You have been antsy for four whole hours, my love. What is it?" He asks, moving his hand to yours and giving it a squeeze. You chew on your bottom lip and settle for resting your head on his shoulder. "I am only nervous for the ball tomorrow." You whisper.
"The ball, or the people?" He returns, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before tilting your chin up so he can look at you. You frown slightly and he gives a comforting grin. "They will talk, you know that, but none of it will matter. It is just that, talk." He murmurs before pressing a quick kiss to your lips.
"But what if... you leave and then I am alone and one of them tries to-" You begin, but he cuts you off swiftly with another kiss. A longer one, but still as sweet as before. You sigh and rest your forehead against his. "You are so much more capable than you know, Y/N. You are the perfect Viscountess and the perfect Bridgerton. None of them shall ever be able to take either of those two things away from you." He whispers.
You smile as your cheeks heat up from his speech. "You are mine, mine to protect and mine to love. I take that duty very seriously." He finishes, cupping your cheek. You lean into his touch and smile. "I love you." You whisper back and he grins. "And I love you." He returns.
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Tomorrow comes all too quick, and soon you are in the large closet in your master bedroom, your maids pulling on the strings of your corset to get it to your liking. Anthony, however, waits downstairs in his study already dressed up fully for the occasion.
You had promised to try and be quick, and he knows you tried to keep that promise. He also knew that you wanted to look perfect, so he did not mind being a bit late to the ball. He wished for you to be as comfortable as you could be. After about thirty minutes of waiting, he had sent his family ahead, promising to meet them there.
He would be lying if tonight was a relaxed night for him. He was a ball of nerves, but he knew how to hide them well. He was not nervous for him, no, he was nervous for you.
He knew that you were perfect, and all of the much older and married members of the ton did as well. It was the cruel debutantes he worried about. He knew that many of them would be bitter, even if they were not interested in him. It was many women's third or fourth social season, many women would take that out on any kind soul they could find, and you were the kindest.
He downs his glass of scotch and adjusts his cravat before standing up and going to the bottom of the staircase. He wanted to see you now, and he would not wait another second. Just as he is about to call out, you appear at the top of the steps, dressed in the infamous Bridgerton blues.
The gown is a gorgeous navy blue, and you have paired it with long, white, silk gloves. Your hair is pulled back in his favorite way, an elegant pin holding it up in an elaborate bun. To tie it all together, you are wearing the diamond necklace and earrings he bought you in Edinburgh. So simple, yet so incredibly beautiful. So you.
You smile at him as you walk down the stairs and he just about dies right there. "My God, you look ethereal." He whispers as he offers you his arm. You gladly take it and he grins, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leading you to the carriage.
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The driver opens the door of the carriage once the two of you arrive at Lady Danbury's grand estate. You look out at the many other women and men filing out of their carriages and feel a familiar sense of dread, causing you to gnaw on the skin on the inside of your cheek.
"Darling?" He asks after a moment and you look up, your cheeks flushing in embarrassment once you realize he has probably been holding his hand out for you for some time. "Sorry." You mumble, before taking his hand and allowing him to pull you to your feet and help you out of the carriage.
The two of you walk hand in hand into the ballroom, which is bustling with activity. However, when the Viscount and his new bride enter, all of the chattering halts. The eery silence makes you wrap your arms around one of his, the sense of dread looming over your head only getting more intense.
He notices and moves down, kissing you softly on the lips. Part of it is for show, of course, but part of it is also because he knows that it will calm your nerves down to a point where you can manage them. He just knows, always.
He pulls away. "Come on, we are going to make this boring night a good one, hm?" He murmurs. You smile gently and nod, walking deeper into the ball. You hear the whispers, the cruel words from the other women, but choose to ignore them for now.
The two of you arrive at the space on the floor where his family stands. He lets go of your arm with a kiss on your cheek and enters a conversation with Colin. You walk to Eloise, of course, and begin to speak to her about your newest literary obsession.
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Anthony eventually finds himself surrounded by his friends, leaving you and Eloise to your own devices. "It is quite an interesting story, I am surprised I only found just found it." You hum as she grins. She had recommended the book Frankenstein after you had said you wished to read more of the classics. "I am surprised as well, you always struck me as a horror type of woman." She teases, bumping your shoulder. You laugh lightly as she does.
"Well, now I know that I am only to come to you for book recommendations as my husband is quite lacking in that department." You return, your eyes filled with playful affection. "Well, I could have told you that, Y/N. My brother, it seems, only likes books in the historical genre." She sighs and looks at her glass of lemonade. "I shall be right back, I am going to get more lemonade." She says and is off before you can protest.
You frown and look around for someone else to talk to, to hide behind really, as you wait. Before you can you are approached by none other than Cressida Cowper, an absolute addict to gossip. "Y/N L/N, I am surprised to see you alone. Has he grown bored of you already?" She says, tilting her head.
You wince and sigh. You knew it was coming, Cressida always had a knack for finding you when you were alone and vulnerable. Often times her insults insist on picking on your nervous demeanor, or even your kindness. The use of your maiden name, however, stung uniquely. A sign that she thought your marriage insignificant, and who knows how many others did. You can feel your breathing pick up already.
"Cressida. It is lovely to see you." You say softly, turning to face her head on. She rolls her eyes at your blatant disregard for her question. "Indeed. It is always a pleasure seeing how... dull you look. I am surprised the Viscount has not already taken a mistress, I mean, he would do well to." She sneers. "I-" You begin but she cuts you off.
"You know I am right. You are dull, Y/N. You always have been. It was a miracle you got as much attention as you did when you debuted and an even bigger miracle that you got married to Anthony. He will grow bored of you, just as everyone has." She scoffs before sauntering off to her next target.
You feel the heat of tears in your eyes and the familiar feeling of tightening in your chest. You know Cressida can be cruel, but what if she got those words from another? What if she was right? Perhaps Anthony will grow bored, perhaps he already has. The thoughts have you going into a spiral, your breathing picking up until you realize you cannot breathe anymore.
Eloise, upon noticing that Cressida had made her way over to you, rushes back. "Oh God, that woman is nothing but a jealous old spinster, Y/N." She whispers, putting her glass down and reaching out before she realizes that you are already too far gone. She takes your hand and begins to walk in search of her brother, "Hold on, Y/N. He has to be near. It will be alright." She says softly, though it does nothing to stop the state of panic you are already in.
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She finds him about two minutes later, and you are already in tears. She drags you to him and spins him around. "Cressida." She whispers before leaving the two of you together. He immediately wraps his arms around you and leads you out of the ballroom to one of the balconies, whispering sweet nothings into your ear the entire way.
"Alright. Look at me, my love." He murmurs once you are outside, grabbing your hands in his and pressing them to his chest so you can feel his heartbeat. "Ready?" He whispers when your tear-filled eyes meet his and you nod.
"Alright, in..." He breathes in and you do the same, your breathing stuttering as you try your best to follow. "And out..." He whispers, exhaling with you. The two of you have gone through this many times. He had helped you when you were courting, when you were engaged, and he will help you until the end of time.
After a few moments of him guiding you, your breathing calms and you wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your face into the fabric of his cravat. "What did she say, darling?" He murmurs, rubbing your back gently.
You hesitate, and he senses your apprehension. "I will not get angry with you over words that such an insignificant woman spoke, I will not cause a scene. I promise. I only wish to know before I take you back home, hm?" He whispers, gently cupping your cheeks so he can look at you.
You wait for a moment before taking a deep breath and nodding. "She said that you would grow tired of me, just like everyone else. That you would take a mistress. She said I was dull." You whisper back, your grip on his shirt tightening.
His face darkens for a moment before he pulls you back into his embrace. "She knows nothing, my love. If you were dull, I would not want to spend every waking moment of my life with you. I would not have married you if you were not perfect for me in every single way." He whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
"But I... I do this so often. I get so... so anxious. I am hardly a Viscounte-" You start but he cuts you off. "You are the perfect Viscountess. Y/N," He begins, pulling back a bit so he can look at you. "I do not say that lightly. I know that it has only been a short six months since we were wed, but I am more secure in my belief that you will be the perfect Viscountess. The perfect mother, the perfect head of my house. You are the perfect woman for me and for my family. Do not doubt that ever. Especially over some silly statement a foolish, sad woman made." He says, caressing your cheeks.
Your eyes burn at his speech, and your heart flutters. You lean in and press a lingering kiss to his lips before pulling away. "I love you so very much, Anthony." You whisper.
He grins, and you swear you see the faintest of pinks spread over his cheeks. "And I love you, Viscountess Bridgerton." He whispers, pressing another kiss to your lips. "Let us go home. Lady Danbury will not miss our company I'm sure." He hums as he parts, making you nod in response.
That is just what the two of you do. After saying goodbye to his family, and to Lady Danbury, the two of you make your way to the carriage.
The rest of the night is spent in bed, speaking of the future, whispering love confessions in each other's ears, and loads of kisses. Who knew that a man who seems so brutish could be so gentle just for you?
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sysig · 2 months
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Anime good :) (Patreon)
#Doodles#MP100#Shigeo Kagayama#Reigen Arataka#Ritsu Kageyama#Forgive the anglicized name order lol#MP100 was another one of my breakfast anime! Admittedly I did not Just watch it during breakfast tho lol#It was too good ahhhh I kept finding my thoughts returning to it throughout the day!#I probably ended up watching an additional episode or so per day over however long it took haha - drastically cut down the number of days!#The lead ups to the finales especially got me - there was no way I could for the whole next day to see them through!#Plus getting to see those beautiful EPs gosh <3 What could be better than some absolutely stunning animation ♥#I was quite impressed the whole way through :D The cast was great and the animation was beautiful and fluid and impressive#And the technical ability that went into the painted animation! Gosh!!#But most of all - of course - it's just a good solid story <3 Of course it's beautifully expressed but it's just - good down to its bones#I love a story like that :) Mob is such a wonderful character and he's surrounded by good people ♥ It made my heart happy to see#He's loved and he loves <3 That's my very favourite!#Unsurprisingly to me I was most enamoured by the brother relationship who could've seen that coming lol me? Siblings? Pfsh ♪#Ritsu's a sweet boy as well <3 I cried at him crying from Mob not even considering forgiving him because there was never anything to forgive#Not me shorter older sibling feeling exactly the same way hhghghh I'm fine ;;#Reigen is such a fun deadbeat supportive adoptive dad haha ♪ He's hard to pin down! Loved his redemption arc(s) :)#Flawed individuals my beloved <3#Such an enjoyable cast and set of circumstances! I might actually have to give OPM a proper go sometime soon if this is the writing quality
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daycourtofficial · 2 months
Text
Freaky Friday
Summary: based on this request - you and Azriel swap bodies, chaos ensues.
Warnings: allusions to sex.
Author’s note: this is just a silly goofy time for my silly goofy geese. Is this my best work? No. But it’s fun and goofy and who cares
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You wake with a groan, your muscles feeling incredibly stiff and heavy. You drag yourself to the bathroom, eyes half closed with sleep.
Everything feels wrong. Your body feels so, so heavy as you open the door to the bathroom. You run some water, splashing it on your face as some fae lights come on.
You sigh, the water making you feel a little more alert. You shut the water off, bracing your hands on the sink, thinking about the mission from yesterday.
It wasn’t this bad - you really didn’t have to do all that much. You and Azriel spoke to a witch for cauldron’s sake - it was more of a test of your mental sparring than anything.
You brace yourself against the sink, remembering the nasty cut on your face. Right now you can’t even feel it, but you should still check on it, make sure it’s healing properly.
You look into the mirror, prepared to see a nasty gash across your face.
Instead you’re met with hazel eyes, tan skin, and onyx hair that are not your own.
And you scream. A deep, bellowing scream.
A moment later the door is shoved open, someone’s body making direct contact with it.
Rhys comes running in, having grabbed a knife on his way in, prepared for any threat that lingers. His violet eyes scan the room, searching for anything that can make his brother scream like that.
You turn to face Rhys, the weight of Azriel’s wings bringing you down. You’re able to look him eye to eye, the height of difference between you and Azriel making Rhys seem much smaller than he used to.
“Az?” Rhys ask, “what’s wrong?”
“I’m not Azriel.”
Moments later you find yourself in Rhysand’s office, not sure what to do with yourself as you try to sit on the couch, the large wings behind you making it hard to sit comfortably.
You accidentally sit on the end of a wing, yelping at the sensation and get up, delicately holding the wing so you can sit.
“Tell me everything that happened on your mission,” Rhys said, and you did. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and everything went fine.
The two of you looked at each other, and Rhys decides to call Azriel and Cassian into his office to see if he can figure out what happened.
-
Cassian pats you on the head as he walks past you, much like he always does. You were much shorter than everyone else, not as short as Amren, but still quite small comparatively.
Then again, Cassian hardly ever met anyone he could look in the eye and not have to crane his neck to make eye contact.
It was your thing - he patted your head, you swatted his hand away, but that was it.
Until this morning, when you whirled around and landed a punch right on his jaw, taking the moment of deflection to grab his arm and flip him onto the ground.
He held his jaw in his hand, your name on his tongue. “What the hell was that for?”
You looked down at him, but Rhys’s voice breaks through both of your minds.
Come to my office please.
-
Cassian laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
Then he looked at the two of you, and laughed some more. You two sat next to each other on the couch in Rhys’s office, but so unsure of how to hold yourselves. His brother looked unable to hold up his own wings, and you looked so lost and alone, likely due to the loss of the shadows.
Feyre had joined the impromptu meeting in Rhys’s office, where no one could figure out why this had happened. And Cassian was certainly not helping things.
“Look I’m just saying if I swapped bodies with someone I’d fuck myself.”
“Cassian,” Feyre hissed, nodding her head to the door.
“Okay, okay,” he says, walking towards it. “I’ll go.”
Cassian leaves the room, but his laugh can still be heard down the hallway.
“Are the two of you going to be okay?” Rhys asks, looking over the both of you. You shrug, knowing there’s not really anything else you can do, meanwhile Azriel nods.
The two of you were taken away from your duties for the time being, which was probably for the best seeing as how you have no idea how anyone manages to hold their wings off of the ground and walk at the same time.
You were going bonkers in Azriel’s body.The shadows had no idea you weren’t their master, so they kept telling you everything. You had no control over them, so a good portion of them kept wandering over to Azriel stuck in your body. Their presence seemed to soothe him, and you wonder just how alone he feels without them.
You could hardly walk without dropping the massive wings behind you on the floor, so you mostly opted to stayed seated or lying down for the rest of the afternoon, staying in the library trying to figure out how you woke up in Azriel’s body.
You walk past Nesta on your way to dinner, the hulking mass you’re carrying around needing much more food than you were used to. You had the house give you an ungodsly amount of food during the afternoon, from snacks to fruits to nuts. You go to walk by, unaccustomed to the new body and slam into her, apologizing profusely.
She looks you up and down smirking, and you realize that everyone likely found this situation much funnier than you did.
Azriel came up to dinner not long after you did, and Cassian began making fun of you two again. Nyx turned to his mom, clearly confused about his Uncle Cassian’s jokes, when she explains to Nyx that the two of you had swapped bodies.
Nyx clapped his hands, the little princeling quite pleased with this turn of events.
“My wish came true!”
Everyone stops what they’re doing, utensils clattering on plates.
“Er what wish, sweetheart?” Feyre asks, her full attention on her son.
“I wanted them to switch bodies!”
Cassian bursts out laughing, throwing his head back as Nesta swats him on the chest.
Rhys is trying not to laugh at the predicament his son has created as he asks, “and why is that, Nyx?”
Nyx looks at you as Azriel and says, “she told me she wanted wings like Uncle Az’s so when we went to the fountain I wished she could do it!”
Cassian looks at Mor, asking, “so wishes actually come true from that fountain?”
After dinner you find yourself standing next to Cassian, looking him in the eye. You never realized that Azriel was a few inches shorter than Cassian. Cassian looked at you, watching as you move around, unable to stand still and he knows it’s you and not his brother.
“What are you doing, sweetheart?”
Nothing brought Cassian more joy than calling the shadowsinger ‘sweetheart’.
“It’s odd being this tall. I can look you in the eye just standing straight.”
The shadows dart around you two, constantly whispering to you. You would be able to understand them if it weren’t for just how many of them were trying to talk to you.
You swat at them, but even more come back to you, some hitting you in the face.
Cassian laughs, clearly amused at this entire situation. Feyre had taken Nyx back to the fountain to make another wish right after dinner, a wish that everyone go back to their original bodies, but the rest of you were left to wait.
You head into Azriel’s room, leaving Cassian and his teasing remarks behind. You leave Azriel’s bedroom door open just a crack so he can slip in moments later, still in your body.
You run your hands through your hair - his hair, the length reminds you. You look at yourself, not used to this arrangement.
“So uh, this should wear off at some point, right?”
“Right.”
“This is erm weird.”
“Yes, yes it is.” Azriel says, leaning back on his bed. The air in the room shifts, and a sickly sweet smell overtakes the room.
You gasp, hitting Azriel’s - your - leg, “Az, we are stuck in each other’s bodies and you’re getting horny.”
He moves up to you, sitting in your lap. “I can’t help it - it’s your body. You’re so needy.”
His legs straddle your lap, and as he sits down he lets out a quiet moan. You lean closer to him, smelling him, “oh gods, you reek of sex!”
A light blush coats his - your - cheeks, and he responds, “well if I’m stuck in your body, might as well enjoy the company.”
You roll your eyes at him and he starts grinding on your lap, “okay, I-I get it now why you like this so much.”
You laugh at him, as you begin to feel your own arousal in a way that is new.
The two of you spend the night tangled in Azriel’s sheets, exploring this jewel reality you’ve found yourselves in.
-
You woke up in your own body, thank the mother, and the two of you go to Rhys’s office to find Rhys, Feyre and Cassian already in there.
They all peer at you, the unspoken question in their gazes.
You beam at them, “I am myself again.”
Azriel huffs, “I’m glad I can actually reach things again.”
You pout, hitting him on the arm, “hey, it could have been worse. You could have been stuck in some ugly person’s body.”
“Yeah, like Cassian.”
You two chuckle as Cassian’s face gets an irritated look on it.
You and Azriel leave the room, and Feyre turns to Cassian.
“Do you think they had sex last night?”
Rhys turns to Feyre, “there is no way they didn’t. They’ve been sneaking around for months.”
Feyre gasps, “no they have not!”
The two bicker back and forth over whether or not the two of you have been hooking up, and Cassian is uncharacteristically quiet.
“Did you hear anything, Cass?”
Cassian is brought back to the present, telling them he hadn’t heard anything. Truthfully, he knew you two were sneaking around, but he kept it to himself, worried the teasing might mess things up for you two.
You and Az skip off down the hall, both of you going into your room to explore all the things you found out about each other, and Cassian laughs lightly to himself, thinking about all the ways he’ll tease the two of you.
But that’s for another day. Another day when he feels like his brother’s insecurities won’t eat him alive. Another day when his brother will feel like he deserves you.
Another day.
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seattlesellie · 10 months
Text
not about love. (part 4 & final)
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read: part one || part two || part three
pairing: college loser!ellie williams x fem!reader
synopsis: after ellie kisses someone else, you run. then, you run again. at the end? she finally fucking chases you.
warnings: some miscommunication, slight angst, alcohol & weed, mentions of homophobia (d slur), smut (mdni), oral (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), scissoring, top!ellie, bottom!reader, panties kink (?), mentions of strap, first time w ellie, love love love <3
authors note: i had so much fun writing this. i hope you guys like it. i’m still thinking about a short part five, but well see how it goes ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖
𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:
"(The Party & The After Party -The Weeknd)"
01:23 ━━━━●───── 03:43
ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ
---˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹---
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it's funny, how guilt begins with a subtle tickle. it's delicate at first, ignited like a gentle caress down her throat. it is not like jealousy, that dawns on you with a thud right inside. for her, for ellie, it's almost like a whisper. it glides down her body, maneuvers its way around, and then it lands inside the pit of her stomach, making it churn, toss and twist from the insides out, like an ever erupting ticking bomb.
she shouldn't have kissed that girl, that, she knew. the answer to why, she truly doesn't know— don't ask her no stupid questions. she knew it was wrong when she slid her tongue down her throat, knew it was wrong when she took the back of her neck into her palm, and felt how wrong it was when she looked deep into her eyes, panting, with a ruby blush creeping up on her cheeks. it wasn't because you left, god knows she would have felt how wrong it was even if you didn't, but alas, you did. you did leave. and that's why right at this second— her brain was fuzzy, knuckles colored white, legs moving faster and faster with no control.
truly, what ellie did wasn't wrong, neither was it selfish. you weren't a couple, she didn't belong to you, and neither you to her. she was a free woman, and so were you. and yet, your imaginations told a completely different tale. the truest colors of your thoughts— ready to erupt and spill out of you as if tomorrow never came.
she must have bumped into at least twenty sweaty, inebriated bodies. the outside world seemed to move and twist in a blur, but her mind moved oh so slowly. it was as if walking to the bathroom, took her over two hours. in reality, it took exactly three minutes, until she bumped into one extraordinarily tall man.
he rocked a bleach blonde buzz cut, a red bandana on his forehead, and ridiculously tiny sunglasses.
"yo— williams!" he declared, stopping her right in her tracks. she looked up to face him, and he was much, much taller.
"dude, look" he said, pointing right at her face, grabbing the attention of his ridiculous looking, slightly shorter pal.
"that's the girl alison likes!" he shouted, and she could feel the beer stench creeping up in her nostrils, making them twist.
"bro, you must be something special, she almost bribed the shit out of kyle just to make you kiss her"
ellie looked around the corridor, her eyes darting from his face to the floor. people... want to kiss her? it made her feel proud, inflating her ego and making it swell hard in her chest. a second later, it completely wore off. she didn't give a fuck about people— not about most of them.
"yeah, hey dude" she huffed, her lips curling up to a shy smile.
"so tell me, williams— did you scissor on the floor?" he interrogated.
"really gotta go to the bathroom" she voiced.
"no dude, wait... let me ask, i’m fucking interested" he uttered, blocking her path and leaning against the cream-colored wall with his arm.
"do lesbians actually fucking scissor?" his shorter friend questioned.
ellie always had a short temper. it would creep up on her when she least expected it, jolting inside of her brain and making the vein on her forehead pop. lately, she's been listening to some guided meditation on youtube. angela, was the name of the lady who's gentle voice she would listen to every once in a while. "deep breath in, and let it out... think of the rain, pouring and pouring, tickling down your window... and let yourself breatheee..." ellie took a deep breath in, and exhaled.
"y'all should send me a video when you're done fucking"
yeah, fuck angela.
"move out of the fucking way man, i gotta piss" she raised her tone slightly. maybe angela's voice still rung in her ears, because she didn't even consider punching him in the face.
"not fucking moving, williams— c'mon, we wanna fucking know all about it"
ellie might have been shorter by several inches, but god knows she was much stronger. with a firm grip on his bicep, she exerted her power and effortlessly tossed him to the side.
"fucking dyke" he snickered.
"die asshole" she uttered, and flipped him off.
the bathroom seemed to be closer, and her pacing was steadier. she was going to talk to you, that's it.
she opened the door, and exhaled. she didn't even know she had been holding her breath. the coppery scent of cigarettes, and overwhelmingly sweet, citrusy bathroom incense tickled at her nose. four women stood in front of the broken mirror. a blonde one, a brunette, one with braids, and one with a big cap on her head. they either giggled at each other, or to themselves, ellie truly didn't care.
"is there anyone in the stalls?" she questioned in a low voice. they clearly couldn't hear, her words barely audible over the overwhelming music that blared from outside.
she cleared her throat, and tried again.
"are the stalls empty?"
the brunette turned around to face her, a radiant smile spreading across her face, revealing a row of gleaming teeth.
"i dunno" she huffed, and turned around to face the friend by her side.
"but you can—" she stifled a giggle, and then it erupted.
"piss on the floor" she quipped, earning herself the symphony of her friend's breathless, intoxicated laughter.
"great" ellie muttered under her breath. just great.
she turned around to face the stalls, and began.
one knock, two knocks— she felt that guilt twisting in her stomach again.
fuck it, she fully banged on the door. those girls left, after they side eyed her shameless, and walked off. if you were anywhere to be found in that bathroom, it was just the two of you now.
she propelled her foot forward at the door, it swung open, propelled by the force, creating a resounding bang against the wall, echoing twice. the air caressed her face, and she shivered. It was not the chill of the room that caused her tremor. what if you weren't there? what if you left?
the third stall's door she kicked as well, and she couldn't hide her disappointment anymore.
"fuck" she hissed.
the fourth one must be empty as well. she didn't exactly believe in luck. she kicked it, the door budged slightly, but it didn't fly open. it was locked.
you lifted your legs up to meet your chin, holding yourself together in a hug. you felt absolutely embarrassed. you knew you didn't have any right to get like this. the tears swelling up in your eyes and the mascara running all over your cheeks, clinging itself to the delicate skin, making it itch and burn had no right to even exist. she didn't belong to you.
she knocked on the door again.
"you in there?" she croaked. did you hear the guilt lacing her words? it was buried inside of her stomach, after all.
"no... i mean— fuck" you sniffled, bumping your palm on your forehead. "no?" really?
"open the door" she uttered.
silence.
"please?"
you wiped the tears from your eyes, and grabbed a piece of toilet paper to wipe the mascara running profusely, leaving dark, messy spots on your cheeks.
"i’m peeing, ellie— go away"
"no you're not, open the door"
she must have heard you sniff away your snot gathering on the tip of your nostrils.
"i just wanna talk" she quietly said, her voice just above a whisper. ellie stood there, her arm steady on the door, waiting for you to let her in.
"dont wanna" *sniff* "talk"
she took a deep breath. "im not moving. i could stay here all night" you knew she could.
"well..." *sniff* "so can i" you hiccuped.
"cool"
"cool" you repeated.
ellie turned her back away from the door, and leaned against it. three whole minutes of absolute silence had passed, neither of you talking, but so much left unsaid. when the image of ellie kissing that girl flashed inside of your brain, hitting you like a lighting bolt, you giggled to yourself.
"what's so funny?" she questioned, crossing her arms.
"shouldn't you be with your new girlfriend?"
that was it for you. no more hiding. if hurt was the main feeling your heart held just five minutes ago, it mixed around with the tangy, salty taste of jealousy now, laced with the spiciness of anger. you twisted the doorknob, and let it fly open, bumping against ellie's back, making her jump to the other side.
you truly couldn't care if she knew you were crying. what's the point of hiding anymore? who gives a fuck. perhaps— it was sudden wind of courage washing over you. most likely— it was the plastic cup filled with cheap vodka cranberry emptying out inside of your stomach. you placed the cup on the sink, and washed your hands. you didn't even glance at ellie, who stared at you in disbelief.
"what the fuck are you talking about?" she probed, her arms slapping down on her thighs.
"alison, duh"
ellie swallowed deeply.
"or arielle or... whatever the hell her name is" you glanced at yourself in the mirror, you looked like a mess. ellie thought you looked beautiful, she wanted to tell you the moment you came out of the building.
she didn't even know what to say, her eyes staring at the floor, attempting to keep it together.
"was the kiss nice?" you wiped your hand on your skirt.
"it looked nice. so hot!" you nudged her shoulder. every single word that came out of your mouth sounded like you had just run a marathon. they flowed out quick, and even the dumbest person alive would know you were talking out of pure jealousy. maybe ellie was even dumber than him.
"what's gotten into you?" she muttered.
"nothing! happy my best friend's gonna get finally ged laid.. god knows you needed it, el" you patted her head. oh, you were done for.
ellie's eyebrows rose. deep, deep breaths. she stood mute, letting you finish your little speech.
it was as if someone pinned up the apple's of your cheeks together and forced you to smile.
"how long has it been since you fucked?" you tilted your head. you didn't make eye contact, you just stared right between her eyebrows. if you looked at her, you'd have probably burst crying.
"let alone... kissed somebody"
ellies tongue brushed the side of her mouth, and her jaw clenched.
"why are you asking me this?"
you averted your gaze to the side, your breath caged in your throat.
"because were best friends, and best friends talk about these thing! and... you really needed to fucking get some pu—"
she moved closer. you couldn't not face her now. you looked into her eyes and god it fucking hurt. there it was again. dont cry, dont fucking cry.
"how long..." it was as if her eyes were chasing yours. look at me, look at me. "has it been for you?"
your entire face felt like it was fucking itching. your nails dug little crescent moons into your palms. her breath tickled your nose and you swore, you've never been this close to her. you tried focusing on her freckles, counting them inside of your mind, pretending to connect the dots in a thin line. it hurt knowing that she must have seen them this close up too.
"this isn't about me, so" you whispered. you wanted to sound assertive, and aggressive, but you failed miserably. you just sounded ridiculous and sad.
"i think it is" she whispered, too. matching you completely. her lips were so plump and they felt so close and—
"why did you cry?"
"i did not cry" is it really a lie, if she knows the truth already?
"tell me" god, she smelled like the most intoxicating thing in the world. your ellie. or not your ellie, just ellie.
"leave me alone" you mumbled.
"no"
"m'not leaving you alone"
you could kiss her now. you could feel her lips brush against yours and you could kiss her, and tell her everything she wants to know, because god knows she needs it.
you were a coward.
you left, and she didn't chase you. she was a coward too.
she needed a fucking blunt.
────────────
the air felt crisp and biting against her skin. the moon, obscured by thick clouds, offered only glimpses of its pale light. shadows danced and flickered, and the distant howl of the wind rung in her ears. the blunt was delicately held between her fingers, and wisps of smoke curled and swirled in the air around her. she took a leisurely drag, and sighed.
she wasn't new to being alone. she liked bathing in solace, surrounded by her thoughts. usually, it felt nice, and it calmed her down. you, you were anything but calming. being alone was like a sunny beach day. being with you was a storm. you made her palms sweat and her heart beat faster. sometimes, she swore she might have a heart attack. you were her best friend, but it never truly felt like it. best friends tell each other everything, best friends hug and they hold each others hands. best friends dont disappear when the sun sets because they are afraid of what might happen in the dark, and they certainly don't feel like there's no more air left to breathe when they're around each other. they dont touch themselves thinking of each other, and their world doesn't crush upon them when they show interest in other people.
she wasn't your best friend, and neither were you her's.
ellie takes another hit. then, she remembers that one day in tenth grade. you both walked home from school, and you stopped right in your tracks. you asked her if she feels weird around you, if this peculiar feeling creeps up on her from time to time as well. when she asked you what you meant, you told her that sometimes it feels like she isn't your friend. that it feels like the universe has glued you two together, but not for the reason she thinks. when she asked you what you thought it was for, you shrugged, and told her that only time will tell. she felt her insides turn and her ears burned bright red. then, you sighed, and said; "maybe were soulmates" she had to stop herself from grinning, or fucking exploding, and her heart missed a beat. "platonic ones, obviously... maybe were not supposed to be best friends, just two souls who float around each other. you got any snacks? m'starving"
she flicks the blunt and the ashes fall down on the grass. she brings it to her lips again, and shuts her eyes close.
"ellie?"
she opens them fast and turns her head around. it takes her a moment to recognize, as the high washes over her body, but she finally sees.
alison.
"can i sit with you?" she asks while moving closer, and gives her a timid smile.
ellie clears her throat, and drags her body over to the side.
"sure"
the ginger sits next to her, and she relaxes her face.
they sit in silence for a moment.
"t'was a nice kiss" she whispers, and ellie looks at her from the corner of her eye. she should feel shy, and nervous being around the girl she had just kissed. for some reason, she doesn't.
"yeah..." ellie affirms.
"t'was"
the girl looks at the ground, and then looks at ellie again. she smiles, and breathes deeply.
"i wasn't the one you wanted to kiss though" she remarks, and lays her back comfortably against the bench.
"mmph— what do you mean?" ellie feels it now. the nervousness. it wasn’t there before.
"your friend" she bites her lip. she's not looking at ellie anymore, she's staring at the ground.
"what... friend?"
"the one who ran off"
ellie doesn't speak, just brings her lips to form a tight line. was it that... obvious?
"i mean... did you at least go after her? she asks, and she says it kindly, like she cares. weird.
ellie takes a second to respond. she considers denying it, running off just like you did. fuck it, she's high enough.
"yes" is all she mutters, and its quiet. she thinks this is the first time she ever talked about it out loud. only her journal knows, her brave soldier holding on to all of her little secrets, and now, alison knows too.
"and... did something happen?"
she wishes something did.
"no she— she ran off. again, so" she takes another drag, and it burns in her throat. she needs a glass of water, a cool one. maybe she needs a bucket to fall on her head too.
"and you didn't chase her?" the girl questions again. ellie feels like she's being interrogated. for some reason she doesn't even begin to understand, she feels relieved in a way, too. who knew talking could be so... nice. maybe its the high, she wonders.
"she clearly... doesn't want me around so— why would i chase her" that sentence carried a sadness to it. her voice broke when she spoke, and she feels like slapping herself across the cheek. she offers alison the blunt, and the girl takes it in between her fingers, and nods.
"so you just... let her go?"
ellie doesn't respond. she wants her blunt back. talking isn't nice, she decides.
"can i ask you a personal question?" alison takes a drag before ellie responds.
"you already sort of did so, be my guest"
"are you in love with her?"
ellie's breath hitches inside her throat, and she feels like digging a hole in the ground and burying herself inside. she knew she was, but it didn't fucking matter. you weren't in love, and that was that.
"people in this college are fucking weird, man" she comments, and in one second she has the blunt right between her fingers again. finally.
"yeah... heard this crazy girl banged up on all of the bathroom doors and started kicking the stalls"
"ah" she huffs.
"touché"
its silent for a second before she asks her again.
"what do you feel when you're around her?"
"are you a psych major by any chance?" she questions, narrowing her eyes.
"yep. so, let me psychoanalyze you. pretend its for my... project or something. i ask you questions, you respond... and then i get a super good grade thanks to you"
she bites her lips, and looks to the side. she considers hiding herself inside of the bush till the girl goes away.
"i'm your therapist, go 'head"
ellie rolls her eyes, and considers. fucking fuck it. maybe writing this shit on paper isn't enough.
"i feel like i can't breathe around her, sometimes. like... there's this fucking thing"
"what thing?"
"fucking... god... thing it’s a fucking thing. i have to stop myself from doing shit... s'fucking stupid."
alison smiles. and she nudges ellie on and on till she speaks again.
"its like— every time i'm fucking around her, it physically hurts me... that I ca— that I can't fucking have her. or that... it like, tingles in my fucking hands. and my fucking heart starts beating and my brain goes all foggy and I feel like I'm going to fucking faint. I want to be around her, I fucking want to— but every time she's next to me I feel like im gonna vomit. and she makes me fucking sick and I just wanna hold her and..."
she's never breathed so deeply in her life.
"that's... a lot" alison mutters.
"yeah..." ellie takes another drag, and barely exhales.
"doesn't fucking matter anyways. she doesn't see me that way."
alison's eyebrows rise up, and she looks at ellie like she's fucking stupid.
"ellie... she saw you kiss me and she fucking ran away. like, she physically ran away. are you blind? or are you stupid?"
"did you just call me stupid?" ellie huffs. was she? was she stupid?
"listen to me" she begins, and forces ellie to look her in the eyes.
"it's like..." the girl takes a peak at her iphone screen.
"1:30am."
"okay?" ellie huffs. her stomach's turning again.
"you're in love with this girl, and if you don't go after her right now it's gonna be too late"
"i can go tomorrow" ellie whispers. she won't. shed go back to her old habits of hiding and pining till her brain burns.
"you won't"
"fuck" she mutters under her breath.
"go!" the girl yells, and nudges ellie's arm.
"okay like— right fucking now?" ellie says loudly, and she feels her feet fucking lifting her up off of the bench, like she again, has no control over her body.
"right now, go!"
she curses herself out under her breath. fuck. it.
ellie starts running, and running, and running, and her shoes are meeting the ground with loud bangs, flopping up and down against her ass. she didn't to track in high school, but if coach charlie saw her now, he'd sign her up and shed get a full fucking athlete's scholarship. she feels her heart thudding in her ears, and she has no time to even think. what the fuck is she doing? where is she going? what if you'll tell her to go the fuck away? what if she's delusional, completely braindead, she wonders to herself for a tiny second, as she catches her breath.
and then— the image of you, mascara running down your cheeks flashes in her brain.
you cried, because she kissed another fucking girl.
"m'not— fucking" she pants,
"delusional"
she's standing right in front of rockefeller housing. brown cobblestone, as if each brick and mortar had witnessed countless stories unfold within its hallowed halls. she gets a hold of herself, before her heart punctuates in her chest, and stands still, chest heaving up and down. she looks up at your room's window, and its standing lit. you're still awake. she feels like she just won the fucking lottery.
she almost whoo hoo's! but she's way too "cool" for that. so she walks slowly, pats herself on the shoulder, and yells a loud;
"fuck yes!"
"shut the fuck up!"
oh shit. she just woke someone up.
────────────
how corny was it to lounge inside of your room, alone, the mellow tunes of lana's "ultraviolence" playing from your antique turntable?
very corny.
but you didn't mind. your tears had dried up already, and you were comfy in pretty white silk pajama's, a bowl of cheddar popcorn and that same goddamn boxed wine.
someone just screamed a terrifyingly loud "shut the fuck up!" from outside of your window. you'd have laughed, usually, but your mind was occupied. you felt tortured, and sickly, and why the fuck did you leave like that? it was embarrassing, truly, she watched you cry, and you interrogated her with bizarre, passive aggressive questions that would make the calmest man alive want to bash his head against the wall.
"breakfast at tiffanys" played on the television, and cat just ran away. you pouted, and sighed deeply. you were too tired now, and your eyelids felt heavy. you lifted yourself off of the bed, and made your way to turn off the lights, and drift away.
knock knock knock.
who the fuck is knocking at your door at 2am? it must be your roommate, jen, returning from the party.
you twist the doorknob, and yawn.
oh god.
"ellie?"
she gulps. she looks down on the floor, and up at you again. she looks absolutely panicked, and her bangs are sticking to her forehead. three of her hair strands formed a sweet little heart shape filled with sweat. her hand is shaking and she would have pounced right on you and fucking kissed you already if she had the fucking courage—
you step back.
"what are you doing here?" you quip, and your voice is so small and sweet that it truly kills her inside.
"i would've—" she takes a small step and enters inside of your room. she looks around, and the candles and the fucking lana playing in the background and she's sure she's gonna be sick because you're so fucking cute and your eyes are puffy and lips all swollen like they had been stung by a bee, and she wants to be your medicine and kiss them so hard you fall on the floor, but all she can mutter is;
"fucking brought you something... but it was all closed— all the fucking stores were closed because its the middle of the fucking night"
"what stores... wha— what are you talking about?" you whisper as you take a step back, you want to offer her a glass of water because she's sweating but you just can't.
"fuck— fucking flower shop or something, or those fucking chocolate covered fruits you like or—“
"what?" you mutter, breathless as if you were the one who just ran a marathon.
"you cried" she points a finger at you. you back away, taking a small step to further yourself away from her.
"you cried because i kissed another girl" she huffs, and her eyebrows scrunch together.
"I didn't—" you try and interrupt, unsuccessfully.
"you cried and that means that you fucking— you dont want me to kiss other girls"
you bite your lip so hard it feels like it might start drawing blood and run all over your chin. oh no.
"you want me to kiss— fuck it"
a supernova. as a dying star unleashes its final act, igniting in like a cosmic firework, it paints the galaxy like a canvas. shades of ruby red, sapphire blue, and shimmering gold intermingle together and create the most beautiful piece of art the universe has ever witnesses.
that's what it felt like when her lips were on yours.
they brushed up against you as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and perhaps it was.
when you imagined your first kiss with ellie, convinced you were indulging yourself in pure delusion, you thought it would be soft, and gentle. it felt as if her lips were running away from yours, and you had to chase them to meet against you again.
this kiss, was anything but. so perhaps you were delusional, but not in the heartbreaking way.
when her tongue first met yours, intertwining itself so perfectly, swirling around fervently inside of your mouth, bumping into your teeth and pulling you in, her lips sucking on it like she'd die if you ever pulled back, gentle was the last word you could use to describe it.
hungry, and ravenous, it was.
her knees felt like the were going to give up beneath her, and leave her a crumpled mess on the floor. if she thought that being around you felt like her heart was thudding out of her chest, kissing you was much, much worse. kissing you made her feel like her heart left her already, and leaped right into your being.
she broke the kiss first, refusing to open her eyes. so did you, you couldn't believe it was actually happening.
"you..." she whispered, and her breath tickled your nose.
"i..." you whispered in response. there were no words you could mutter, they would never come out coherent enough.
"ive..." she huffed.
"wanted to do this for so fucking—"
you brought your lips together to meet again. this time, it was softer, and gentle, but you didn't have to chase her away, because she stayed.
"me too" you whispered, or fully whined, you truly didn't know.
"no you dont..."
"you dont understand" she cupped your cheeks between her palms, she wouldn't even open her eyes, afraid of what she might do if she opened them and realized it was only just a dream.
"i do" you plead. her hands were warm and your cheeks were scorching hot against them.
"i need you"
"you need me?"
"it hurts"
"what hurts?" she whispered as she brushed her finger on your cheek. it was delicate, and soft.
"my heart" you hiccuped, a broken sob escaping your lips. you couldn't hold it in anymore, and a fat tear streamlined down your face, like a little river, rolling down inside of ellie's palm.
she wanted to kiss you again, but she had to hear you say it.
"when i'm... not with you— when i can't... and when you kissed her" you sobbed. "it hurt so bad"
"it hurt me too"
"please kiss me aga—“
so she did. again, and again, and again, till your throat felt dry and you kept seeing stars erupting inside of your brain.
chest against chest, heaving up and down on each other, she caressed your waist, and pulled you closer. when the kissed deepened again, you moaned, and it got swallowed inside of her mouth.
"you can't do that or i won't... fuck— won't be able to fucking stop"
"do what?" you asked, your bottom lip still brushing against her top one.
"can't make those sounds"
"w— why?" your chest caressed her's, and it was ellie's turn to let out a deep grunt.
"because ive thought... ive wa— i think about you all the fucking time like this"
"me too..." you admitted, breathing in her scent.
she wanted to ask you exactly what you thought about. she wanted to hear you say it, in exact, firm sentences. do you touch yourself thinking about her too? that would make her fucking lose her mind. instead, she took you in her arms, and banged you up against the wall.
thud "oh god" you hiccuped.
"yeah?" she teased, breathless. she wanted to do it better, wanted to sound more firm and stern and make you beg and tell her and whine on the floor but she was too fucking desperate for that right now.
"m'gonna— fuck" she hissed, when your tits grazed her's again.
"is this happening?" she whispered, and held your waist so tight in her arms. her body heat against yours made you completely shiver. she traced small circles on your hips but when you bucked forward her hands started shaking. she traced squares, or squiggly lines, or full on octagons.
"it's happening" you whispered back, and every time her lips brushed against yours it reminded you of how real everything was.
"can i touch you?"
"please" you whined, and you felt the saliva gathering and pooling on your bottom lip, mixing with hers.
ellie brushed her forehead against yours. she caressed it up and down, she needed to feel how your skin felt against her's because god knows she's truly spent so much time thinking about it and it didn't feel real, she needed it to feel real, so she begged;
"open your eyes"
you did. they fluttered open as your lashes flickered up and down and she chased you with her eyes again, until they directly met her's.
"tell me how bad you need this"
you gulped harshly, and it made a soft little sound. you felt absolutely limp against her, like you could crush down on the floor at any given moment.
she never thought she'd hear those words, outside of her dreamworld, sound asleep at 4am.
"i need— ellie i need it so bad" you whimpered, and she felt it twitch inside her fucking boxers, but felt it tug at her heart even more. how could have she been so fucking blind?
she opened her mouth, and she almost kept her eyes open whilst she kissed you because she needed to fucking see everything. she needed to see your eyebrows squint and your eyes close shut, your breath hitch and your hand drop from her shoulder, and then go up to grab her shoulder again and squeeze.
ellie, ellie couldn't help it anymore.
she caressed her hand up from the navel of your stomach, slowly grazing her finger up and up and up, till they met your breast and fuck she wanted to ask you if it was okay but the way you moaned inside of her mouth when she gave the cup a little squeeze, signaled her that she could do whatever the hell she wanted because you've always. been. her's.
as her tongue swirled with yours, warm saliva practically running out and streamlining from the corner of her mouth, she grazed her finger on top of your clothed nipple.
she separated her lips from yours, and moved her head back to look at you.
"you know how fucking crazy you drive me?" she pecked your lips forcefully and they made a smacking sound. you smirked, your eyes still glossy from the previous tear that escaped, and she nearly lost her damn mind.
"dont fucking smirk at me like that..." she kissed your jaw, making your entire body clench. "always fucking teasing me" kiss "always making me think..." kiss "i'll never fucking get it" kiss "driving me fucking crazy with those little fucking tops" kiss "those short fucking skirts" kiss
fuck.
"just wanted you to s— see, ellie..."
she tilted her head, and smiled so big and blushed so hard you nearly cried again.
"can i... can i take your shirt off?
you nodded up and down and fervently, like if you didn't show her exactly how bad you needed her she'll never fucking get it. old habits die hard.
she pulled the strap of your tank top off, and it slid down your shoulder. she let out a shaky breath. she's thought of seeing you bare in front of her way too many times than she'd like to admit. she saw the tip of your hard nipples poking out of the material and her breath hitched, borderline on wheezing. she delicately grazed her finger on it, stopping herself from pinching it and twisting and pulling like she always fucking wanted to. she had to go slow, she had to savor this moment.
you couldn't go slow.
you lifted your top off and ditched it on the floor. she was faced with your tits and she nearly damn went cross eyed. holy fucking shit.
"holy fuck" she hissed, her chest heaving up and down. her boxers were entierly drenched by now and she hasn't even touched them, until now.
she grabbed them with her calloused hands and squeezed them together, making them meet and form a natural cleavage. when she exhaled, a soft sound escaped her throat. it sounded like a quiet howl, or a harsh whimper.
"need to fucking taste" she growled, and your panties felt warm inside, and it tingled, that familiar yet completely different feeling washed over your cunt, as soon as her drooling, wet mouth was on your nipples, twisting and swirling her tongue against the sensitive buds, sucking and taking them out of her mouth with plop sounds, and every time she felt you squirm she moaned against them, her mouth fully vibrating on your nipples.
she detached her lips, just to look up at you with a lovedrunk smile adorning her face. she looked absolutely high on your body and you didn't even notice... that you started grinding up against her, bucking your hips inwards and backwards every time her head bobbed up and down on your tits.
"what am i..." she pulled your nipple in her finger, twisting it from side to side, making you nearly scream. you slapped your hand on your mouth, because if you didn’t— you’d fully get a stern note from the other residents tomorrow morning. "going to fucking do with you?"
"i think you know... ellie" you hiccuped.
"say my name again" she groaned, forcefully grabbing your tits now. she shook them up and down, and parted your thighs with her leg.
"ellie..." you whimpered, completely gasping for air.
"again"
"ellie!"
"fuck yes..."
her ongoing imaginations of you whimpering her name had absolutely nothing on the real deal. she picked you up, her hands grasping your thighs, and laid you on the bed. laid, would be a gentle way to say it. she practically tossed you on it, making the mattress jump up and down and creak slightly. she laid her body on top of yours, and her chest felt strong and steady, except for two perky mounds that connected directly with yours.
"please take your shirt off" you pled.
"take it off of me" she hissed, planting another sweet, sweet kiss on your breasts. she was fucking obsessed with them, and she wasn't afraid to show it now. it’s funny, how a only a week ago, she had to contemplate having her eyeballs surgically removed because she couldn’t stop her eyes from darting up and down. she could actually adore them now, and she felt it deep in her lower abdomen.
you tugged at the bottom of her top, hastily attempting to take it off fast because you yearned to see her so bad it almost hurt, but she palmed your hands and stopped you fully.
"nuh uh" she warned.
"slowly..."
you look up at her, doe eyed and begging. your breath caged in your throat, because this is real. it fucking hit you again.
when she saw you look up, it tugged at the strings of her heart.
she kisses you, and it feels like something you've never felt before. it feels warm, and it feels like fucking love. it was as if you became liquid, what was once solid, and hard, melted into a sweet puddle of warm honey.
she wants to take your shorts off already, but she stops herself. she looks you deep in the eyes, and her cheeks bloom red. she's in love.
and she knows you are too.
would it be awfully corny if she told you she wanted to make love to you? it probably would. for some reason, she didn’t need to vocalize it.
now, it was her eyes who turned glassy, making the emerald green glisten and twinkle.
"i need to..." you dont respond, you just do what she needs you to do.
you take your shorts off, and ellie simply stares down, panting, as her heart thuds inside of her chest. the way she looks, like she's absolutely famished, makes your clit pump inside of your panties that it terrifies you if she actually sees.
you shyly cover up, and she smiles gently as she grabs your wrists to peel them off of the soft, now sticky fabric.
"dont be shy..." she whispers, and when she see's the wet patch that formed, that pooled down just where your tight hole is, her face twists and she bites her lips. when she looked up at you, you turned your head to the side.
"look at that..." she chuckles, and it's fucking hypoctirical, the way she's mocking— because she has a spot even bigger on the bottom of her boxers, except she's fucking dressed and youre not.
"need to kiss it..." she desperately says, her voice low and raspy.
"need you to tell me..." she kisses your tummy, softly, as it heaves up and down. "to kiss it..." with every breath that leaves her, she kisses it again, her tongue now poking out of her mouth.
"mm— cant" you whimper. when did you become so shy?
"please" she begs, as her kisses become more wet, leaving little trails and puddles of saliva on your stomach.
"ellie..." you hiccup, feeling as if you could cum just by grinding your crotch back and forth against the air. her words are more than enough.
"say it..." she pleads, and it gets absolutely ridicilous— who's begging who now?
"please kiss— god" she simply palms your cunt, right on your panties, her warmth mixing with yours, and an incredibly loud, high pitched moan, closer to a screech leaves your mouth. the sound makes her groan into your stomach, moving her kisses further and further down. with each kiss, your body grows warmer, a certain tremor adding to your sudden jolts.
when she's face to face with your cunt, directly gazing at the wet spot, she closes her eyes shut, and plants a soft kiss upon the wet material. she's thought about doing this so many times, she has to stop herself from sneaking her hand down her boxers and start grinding up and down on it, and cum simply from just smelling you, as her nose bumps directly on your clit.
she wants to see it bad, those slick beautiful folds she had imagine so many times, the little bud poking on top, but she can't help but notice how greedy and eager you get when she teases you. she can't help but notice those cute little sounds that escape your throat, the way your eyebrows squint together and a small v shaped line forms on your forehead.
she gives a soft, kitten lick over the material, and you completely jump upwards. "ellie! fuck!" you moan, and she swears its the most heavenly sound she's ever heard. "that's it... grind yourself up against me... just like that"
you grind against her eager mouth, her tongue making the fabric transform into almost full sheerness, clinging and sticking to your cunt, every time ellie drools on it a little more.
"fuck m'gonna!— cum... ellie!" you hiccup and wheeze, and she can't help but pull your hips, move you closer to her mouth, as your thighs completely close and clench around her neck. but she doesn't fucking care.
she's going to make you cum all over your fucking panties.
she needs it. she yearns for it.
she bumps her tongue harder and flattens it against your clit, grinding you down, completely controlled by the very movements of her hands, guiding your through it and forcing you to keep moving against her.
it's closer, and closer, the white pleasure taking over your entire body, and you start shaking against her—
"cum for me... that's it" she whimpers, "cum hard all over my— fuck, my fucking face"
you barely even have time to recover, still completely sensitive, your entire body shaking when she takes off your panties, sniffs them shamelessly, and shoves them in her pocket.
"what are you d— doing?" you hiccup.
"dont worry about it" she mutters, and her entire face flushes red.
you dont, so instead, you beg for her to let you come again. she doesn’t, for now, and it was pure evil.
ellie's jaw clenches when she's face to face with your weeping pussy. her breath caged in her throat, and she lets out a high pitched, animalistic moan, followed by an adorable twist to her face. she's imagined it too many fucking times.
she'd tell you, but she's afraid to come off as pathetic.
slowly, agonizingly slow, with the intention to savor this moment, she places a soft, sweet little kiss on your cunt. you jump, and call out her name. she places another one, and another one, right on your achy clit. before she indulges herself in the first taste, she looks up at you.
"you're so beautiful" she whispers. and you know how bad she means it, because it comes out shaky, and you can taste how sweet those words are and really they’re just words.
you nearly die.
"and so fucking wet"
you nearly cum.
"mmph— ellie, please" you breathe. "pleasepleaseplease"
she doesn't need to hear any more of it, before her tongue laps up the sweet nectar of your pussy, starting with your hole, collecting the juice with the bottom of her tongue, curling it, and swallowing. "taste so fucking good"... she mutters. "knew you would"
she truly, truly did.
ellie slowly begins circling your clit with her tongue, in soft, little motions that focus right on your aching bud. one of her hands is squeezing your thigh, as the other creeps up slowly to grab your breast and toy with the nipple. its so fucking soft inside of her mouth that she can't help but grind herself down on the bed, the cream that formed inside of her boxers making it easy to slide backwards and inwards, and she releases sweet, desperate moans inside of your pussy every time it hits her clit.
when ellie feels you clench your hole in and out, she spreads your pussy lips apart, spits a big glob of saliva on top of your clit, making it slide all the way down to your hole.
"need to fill you up, fuck" she growls, and before you know it, her tongue is on you again, and her finger is teasing and begging your hole to let her in.
"baby" she coos, "let go for me"
"c— cant!" you cry out. its all too much, and you feel so embarrassed that you won't stop clenching, till she looks up at you again.
"breathe... it's okay" she whispers, "i'll be gentle, i fucking promise"
when you breathe in for her, she grits her teeth. fucking finally. she slides her finger inside, so slow you regret ever making her think you'd want it gentle, so you grind up on it, bringing your body forward so it swallows her finger whole.
"god damn" she hisses, and her voice is higher pitched because she can't fucking believe it.
she wants to whore you the fuck out, but she needs to be gentle for now. she considers… for just a mere second, to sprint to her room, grab her strap and split you whole, but she stops herself. she genuinely needs to grab her fucking knee so she doesn’t move away and lose control entirely.
she pumps it inside, lost in the feeling of your gummy walls squeezing her in, over and over again, lapping up on your clit, and when she feels you clench again, coming closer and closer to the edge, she adds a second finger.
"so fucking tight... you're so fucking tight" she says, and pushes your thighs up to your chest, your entire body shaking against her. you whimper and squeak and cry, babbling incoherently while she's scissoring them inside of you, grunting deep inside of your pussy every time your moans grow louder and louder.
the mattress seems to bump on her clit harder now, and ellie completely stops.
she hastily pulls her pants down, alongside with her boxers, and before you even have time to react to the sight of her cunt or her thighs or the abs that you're now exposed to (you honest to god, have no idea when she even managed to take her shirt off), she pulls your thigh high up, and places your leg on her shoulder.
"you're gonna cum on me— you hear that?" she hisses, when her weeping pussy meets yours. "yes ellie!" you hiccup, "louder"
"mmm—ellie— can'— need to cum on you"
"you wanna fucking cum on me?" she babbles back, and it comes out so messy and pussydrunk that she doesn't even reply back when you cry out with your forehead against her shoulder, biting on it hard, too intoxicated by your little moans and the feeling of your weeping, sticky pussy against hers, bumping her clit and it almost fucking burns inside of her.
she separates your legs further apart, and her gaze burns through you. her eyes are still green, and its still fucking ellie— but they turn a shade darker. she grinds against you forcefully, making your clit bump on her’s, your love-fluids mixing together and creating the most absolutely obscene noises that little dorm room has ever heard. when you close your eyes, because it’s all too much and she’s grunting and whimpering against you, she takes your cheeks in her hands and squeezes.
“look at me. look at me” she begs, and you keep blurting out tiny little squeals of pleasure that she cant help but let out a breathy laugh, and she wants to slap you and hear you squirm even harder but fuck— she’s gonna cum and she can’t even make her hands fucking work, so she just grabs your tits together as she grinds harder and harder, her ass jiggling up and down as she takes you.
“you’re so fucking— goddamn— so fucking cute you’re so fucking pretty”
"m'gonna cum!" you blabber, you brain entirely empty, only filled with the image of ellie's mouth hung completely open, letting out a beautiful symphony of moans, screaming and grunting your name and begging you to fucking take her, and when the tears stream down your face she can't help but wonder... how needy you'd look with her strap buried deep and when the thought hits her— when she imagined the way your hole would take her right inside, the way it would gape after she'd take it out, makes her cum so hard against your pussy that she almost, almost passes out.
when you cum, a second after she does, you tell her that you love her.
when she hears it, a small whimper escapes her lips, and it sounds almost like a sob.
"ive always fucking loved you"
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whoistartaglia · 11 months
Text
genshin men and napping
including: childe, alhaitham, the wanderer, xiao, zhongli
childe
childe prefers the pass-out-for-twenty-minutes-and-go type of naps. it’s not the harbinger can’t take hours long naps, but power naps are childe’s go-to—even when he’s not currently working. sometimes, you don’t even know it happened until it’s over. childe will annouce something like he’ll be right back or needs to do something, and sometimes he’ll just go off, crash in the bedroom, and circle back less than a half hour later. the only sign he napped is his hair, slightly more messy than normal, and rumpled clothing.
the only time he’ll take slightly longing naps if he’s napping with you; then he can’t resist resting a few more minutes. you’ll lie down next to childe midway into his sleep, and curl yourself into his side. you fall asleep almost instantly, but wake not even ten minutes later.
“five more minutes,” you mutter, feeling childe stir next to you. “please?”
“fine. but only five,” the harbinger hums in response. (five, ten, fifteen, thirty minutes passes. childe’s still asleep, and so are you).
alhaitham
alhaitham is an accidental napper. his naps are often in various, uncomfortable positions: on his desk, the floor, his chair. everywhere except for his bed or the couch. you’ll hear light snoring from the hallway and fine the scholar in his office, dozing over a pile of papers, books, scrolls. you cringe at the slight drool at his lips and go to gently remove the documents when you boyfriend bolts upstraight.
“i’m awake!” alhaitham announces to no one in particular. he realizes its you and sighs slightly, resting back in his chair. “how long was i out?”
“not sure,” you reply, inspecting the documents for signs of drool. “if you’re tired, you could just take a normal nap like the rest of us.”
he considers, looks at his mess of a desk, the sunlight drifting in through tinted windows. it doesn’t take a scholar to know it’s the perfect afternoon for a nap.
alhaitham relents on the condition you take the nap with him, and less than five minutes later of moving onto the bed, you’re both out, snoring and drooling, together.
wanderer
wanderer does not officially take “naps.”
“they’re just shorter intervals of sleep when i’m feeling slightly tired,” he argued that one time you tried to call his rest bits “naps.” “they are not naps.”
you furrowed your brows but let you boyfriend convince himself of his delusions. the wanderer’s not-naps are about a half hour to forty-five minutes long. he doesn’t snore, doesn’t drool, doesn’t have nighmares nor dreams. it was simply sleep, a recharge of batteries.
he doesn’t annouce them, either. you’ll find him on the couch, eyes closed, breathing steady. when you come over he stirs, and you can tell he’s in that state of sleepiness and lucidity, mind fog and haze clouding his judgements and responses.
your lips quirk into a smile. “did you have a nice nap?”
“huh? yeah,” he says, blinking away sleep. a second later he realizes his mistake. “i was not napping—“ he cuts himself off, and sighs. he’s going to be living with this for a very long time, judging from the delight in your eyes.
xiao
xiao takes days long “naps.” for an adeptus, you guess it makes sense; his perception of time is much different from mortals. a couple days long nap for him is probably equivalent to a power nap. you don’t really want to know what the two or three hour equivalent is—a month? two? you’re used to now, though you freaked out the first time when xiao was still asleep after twelve hours.
you asked zhongli about it and the only response you got was a shrug and “mortals also take naps. it’s the same thing. he’ll wake up soon.” any protests that it was most definitely not the same were waved off.
when xiao did indeed wake a few days later, he was rather confused why you were leaning over him, eyes damp.
there was a lot of relieved crying and “you’re okay!” on your end and slight bewilderment on his.
“thanks, but, why wouldn’t i be okay?”
“you were out for like four days straight!”
“oh.” xiao is still confused. “a nice and short nap?” you kind of laugh-cry harder while xiao puts a comforting hand on your shoulder, still not quite sure what he’s supposed to be comforting, but doing it all the same.
zhongli
the mortal zhongli no longer takes days, weeks, months long naps, but a he’s held onto a peculiar habit of his. whenever he naps, he always seems to be surrounded by gold? jewels? other forms of treasure? you’ll walk past the bedroom and see him curled into ball. when you walk closer, you see fistfuls of mora, expensive gemstones, gold and silver, tucked next to him. your first thought is how?? did that get there?? especially considering you just paid the bill last night… but you kind of force yourself to shrug it off.
you have the idea it’s either the former god’s version of stuffed animals or a habit from his days presiding as a dragon. or both.
you decide to take a nap with zhongli to see how it appears, but almost a half an hour into sleeping with him, he still hasn’t. you poke your boyfriend awake and he stirs.
“what is it?” he asks, still sleepy.
“where’s the gold? mora?”
it takes a second for zhongli to realize what you’re talking about. he lets out a tired “oh,” and you think he might have fallen back asleep until he lets out a sleepy, “you. treasure. you are the treasure.”
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