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#but like i said it just kind of changes every time depending on what the character is For or what initial thing inspires me to make them in
physalian · 2 days
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So you’ve got an idea for a story….
Once again and as always, writing is highly subjective and any writing advice that says you *must* do X or all books *must* include Y or doing Z during your writing process is *wrong* kind of misses the point of the freedom of storytelling and I’m not a fan. This is how I approach writing and one way you could consider doing the same if you’ve got all these ideas and nowhere to put them, not the way you must approach writing.
Cool? Cool.
We’ll start with how I write fanfic because that’s a far less intimidating market. I don’t write drabble fics and coffee shop AUs. I grew up writing fix-it fics and in-universe canon divergences. Essentially: Stop the real story right here, now what if this happened instead?
Personally, I just don’t get fulfillment from writing fanfic fluff (though I do love reading it). Even if I’m committing time and effort into something that will never make me money and that people might not even read for fun due to dead fandoms or whatever, I’m still going to use it as writing exercise and give it some substance.
That’s just me, though. I used to write stuff like character studies and deep dives, and the last fic I wrote to date was a “hey what if this villain went to the good side way sooner and it wasn’t just played as a joke on his cowardice?” and its sequel.
So I started that first fic with an idea: What if K joined the good guys earlier? How would that impact the story?
Immediately after that, I was thinking about the ending and what tentpole ideas in the canon I wanted to keep, but the meat of the story I knew I wanted to focus on K’s emotional and existential struggle of switching sides, risking becoming an enemy to both factions, after the inciting incident of his (absolutely canonical) partner’s murder, that, in canon, did not get the justice he deserved. When I wrote my post about beginnings and endings, I said that endings for me are way easier than beginnings—this is why. Before I even start writing, my ending is decided.
Basically: Yes, I’m writing a story using someone else’s fictional characters, as one does when writing fanfic. The story uses cartoon characters, but it’s about one person’s struggle with their identity in the wake of tragedy, and how they take life by the horns to make it out of the story the hero they deserve to be recognized as.
And with that core idea in mind, then I write the story around it. The story, which, outside the canon that I had to keep, I had no plan for. The settings and minutiae of the set pieces weren’t as important as what each scene did for the themes and K’s emotional reaction to them happening. I needed to give him enough alone time with the characters of the hero team to learn something from them, enough time on his own to test his new loyalties, and enough time with his old team so he can juxtapose the two and make sure he’s doing the right thing by deserting.
The last thing on my mind was what tropes I wanted to fulfill. Romantic subplots and the like just kind of happened organically and weren’t planned.
For Eternal Night of the Northern Sky the idea I had was this: Most vampire stories are about the drama surrounding vampires that depend on humans to survive. So what if I wrote a story where humans depended on vampires to survive, in the exact same way?
Yes, the story is about vampires and everyone can say what they will about people who write vampire fiction. But it’s really about what it means to be a monster when survival demands some brutal decisions. What does it mean to be a monster if everyone is a monster?
ENNS wasn’t planned, I just started writing and had the first draft done in 31 days and through the entire editing process, the plot didn’t change from draft 1 to draft final, save for a few scenes where I had to fix the surface level problem some characters were facing, but not the reason why they were facing it.
The plot never needed massive rewrites because every scene reflected back on the core themes of the story, and every single scene was necessary to tell it. So even when I had to change the intensity of an argument or flesh out a conversation or change the tone of something here or there, the purpose of whatever was underneath remained.
With that throughline in mind, the rest of the book fell into place around it. My core characters each have a role to answer that thematic question, and side characters around then were created to fill in the world, provide friends, relatives, romances, and the like, each with their own perspectives still on that one big question. My villains, too, all exist to answer that question. Outside of the romances, every single scene is doing at least one thing either for the plot, the protagonist, or the deuteragonist to answer that question. ENNS’ secondary themes were also written into as many scenes as I could (of which I won’t spoil here).
When you write with a theme like this in mind, it gives you these sort of bowling bumper rails to help keep you from straying off into superfluous storylines that bog down the pacing and start to feel messy.
Yes, you’re writing fanfic. But what is it really about? Now maybe it is just a coffee shop AU or 50k words of smut—you do you. Not everything has to be deep and meaningful beyond being entertaining. Themes just provide direction.
For example, I like the idea of slowburn fanfics. The idea. I will happily sit down for a fic that’s half a million words long if the characters and the slowburn are compelling enough. There might not be themes, but the story never forgets its throughline—these two characters eventually coming together.
In practice, though, I see way too many “slowburn” fics out there that are just 90% fluff. The chapters stagnate, trading development for taunting the audience with the will they/won’t they. The plot toddles off to to play around in irrelevant scenes with irrelevant characters. Things that probably wouldn’t bother me if I wasn’t already expecting the romance that was promised, the romance I have to keep waiting for when I could just go read something else that delivers it faster and clearer.
Even if your writing process begins with a few scattered sticky notes and a notion of what you kind of want it to be about, you don’t have to hammer out pages of prose to be productive.
If you get stuck halfway through, having your throughline helps you sit back and ask yourself this very important question: What does Character want, how do they get it, and what’s in their way?
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jujutsustraycats · 10 hours
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Hey ish! Your school would be starting in a few days and here a few things I wish someone told me when I was about to start my journey for 11th! Some of these might apply to you too even though the paths I have and you will be taking are completely different.
Next 2 years are gonna teach you a lot. They'll put you through the highest of high and lowest of lows. They'll change you as a person. They'll teach you so much about life (and also how people can be). Things would get overwhelming at times. You wouldn't understand what the fuck is going on at times. A lot of times you'd be left confused and hurt and alone for both, academic and non academic reasons. Also, you'd get a lot of career advice so you need to know how to filter out the useless ones! The best way to check authenticity can be reflect on the achievements of the one giving advice.
Even though your classmates might be in the same stream, you'll realise that everyone has a different story and that, in the worst ways possible too. There'd be times when it'd feel like none of your peers understand your visions and aim for future, there'd be times you wouldn't have a buddy to chat about your life philosophies with who also has the same opinions as yours (but remember to not give up on people as a whole okay? You'd find people you vibe with at the end of the day, you just have to be bold enough to put yourself out there!)
There'd be also times you might end up severely over worked and sleep deprived (but make sure not to drink so much coffee that your hands and shaking and your heart is beating so fast that your body goes into fight and flight mode thinking you're having panic attack lol). You know ish, these 2 years might completely make you or break you, but remember to not give up despite whatever situations you might end up in.
I personally was a several-Olympiad-gold-medalist kinda overachiever till 10th (even in 11th lol, i didn't sit for it in 12th because my priorities changed. And I overlooked it, don't do that. Celebrate your smallest wins and remember to appreciate yourself for the smallest milestones or you'll end up severely burnt out. It has happened to me twice over the span of last 4 years till now.) But even I ended up seeing the greatest academic downfall i ever had in front of my eyes at many times during these 2 years. And you should know that it's okay. A lot of people are going to be tough on you but try your hardest not to be one of them. Being kind to oneself can be difficult but try your best okay? And you said you are a perfectionist aren't you? Take care little dove.
I've seen a lot in these two years too. A lot of your academic experience also depends on what kind of teachers you get and me, personally, oh my teachers were pos and sadists. They'd bully me for the most stupid reasons (haha losers. You said i wouldn't be able to do it? Well. fuck y'all ✨ [you'd have to learn to be indifferent at times and not let their or anyone else's words get through you. Learn to develop a strong self belief.]) and I seriously hope you get better teachers.
But oh ish not every elder is bad, you'll get some amazing teachers whom you'd never want to break ties with. Hold on to them! okay? You'd also get really amazing friends who you'd know are going to last a lifetime and would be there for you in your toughest times. Hold on to them as well! Some bastards are too good to let go. Ha!
And also, in return, remember to be kind to your peers because you don't know what they might be going through (not to scare you but I had 2 of my friends who'd almost commit suicide, so yeah it can get scary for both, you and them at times but remember to heal them with your love and support. It's an age you all need each other!)
It's gonna be fun, full of lessons, scary, exciting and adventurous at the same time. You'd hate it sometimes and you'd love it sometimes, but despite all MASTI NAHI RUKNI CHAHIE!!! You won't ever get these 2 years back so make sure you don't walk out without making some amazing memories!! Vandalise stuff, copy the sign of principal to escape the school, bunk the classes (to study or not, your choice) have deepest conversations and most light hearted jokes and banters the exact other day, sleep in the class, eat from under the bench, give impromptu speeches on seminars and farewells, break rules....whatever ish. Whatever gets your heart pumping and adrenaline rushing. Because while it's the starting of peak years of your career, you should remember to be a human and have fun at times too. It's okay. It's normal. It's needed. One shouldn't be guilty about it.
Getting less than perfect marks on a few tests isn't gonna harm you as much as you think it will. The ones who love you will continue to love you. The ones who admire you will continue to admire you. The ones who support you will continue to support you.
Baki, main hun idhar hi ❤️ kabhi bhi kuch problem ho toh AA Jana apni badi behen se advice lene, I'll try my best to help you out. As I said the other day, the pain and trauma these 2 years have put me through has only served to make me more empathetic and protective of my juniors so if you come to me with loads of rants i won't say cliché things like "Stay strong". I'd first and foremost listen to you and simply that. I'd listen to you for as long as you want me to. Because sometimes you'd simply just wanna be heard ❤️
I'll try my best to be there for you! If nobody got you, I do! Remember that, okay? ✨
... Dear gods, I don't even know what to say. You made me cry. Like, tears actually sprung up in my eyes. Happy ones, though. Don't worry too much.
I'm not one for physical affection but I would've hugged you so hard if I were there. Thank you. This genuinely made my day.
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theworldofotps · 3 days
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His Queen (Monthly Flow)
Pairing: Bálor x Reader Word Count: 386 Description: The King finds out about periods.
Been ages since I've written one of these and just felt like doing a little one. @madhatterbri picked the King so here you all go! _______ Tag list:
@omg-im-such-a-masochist @melissahausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @hotgirlgraps @madhatterbri @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @rebellious-desires @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @seeingstarks @whenimakeitshine1234 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @blaquekitty @ironshamelessyouth @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @alyyaana @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456 @mcreignsera @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _______
The Demon King was used to all kinds of blood, be it human or other so the sight never bothered him. But when he learned of his queen’s time of the month he was outraged. “What do you mean you bleed for a week or more every single month?!” “It’s true my king and even then, it’s different with every person’s cycle.” “The pain is something you all push through as well, yes?” “Depending on how bad it is that’s correct I usually just use a heating pad while I work; if possible otherwise I’d wait till I return home to relax.” “So this is why you get sassy and rude with me?” “Fraid so my king but I always do my best to watch my words and apologize if I’ve said anything mean.” “I’m the Demon King you’ve no such need to apologize for being mean I thrive off it. And you don’t get the products at a cheaper price or even free despite it being a necessity?” “No, I’m not sure how it is for every country but most places I believe you do have to pay a good bit for them. Not everyone can afford it which is why so many are trying to change it.” “Well you just let me know if you need anything no love of mine is going to pay for necessary products.”
And true to his word Balor always made sure you had a good stock of whatever product you needed. Your favorite sweets and snacks were placed in a special area so nobody would bother them. After his kingly duties were finished the two of you would soak together in a hot bath. His clawed hands slowly rubbing your stomach and doing the best to ease any pain or discomfort you felt.  Taking his time to dry you off the king would leave you to dress in your most comfortable clothes. When you were finally ready a bottle of water would be in one hand while some medicine would be in the other. Your favorite show pulled up on your laptop, the two of you would curl up together in the large bed. One of the things you adored most about your husband was despite being cold and ‘heartless’ he cared and loved you like no other.
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lusus · 2 years
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Thanks for answering the art ask! I love hearing others’ thought processes. How do you usually personally approach character creation? Do you usually have a preset idea in mind and design around it, or does inspiration usually come from out of the blue? :)
ya no prob, i love hearing other ppls creative process stuff a lot too :') tysm
character creation isssssss not a streamlined process cause how and why i make a character changes a lot! sometimes it starts with picking some kind of occupation or hobby that i want the character to be focused on, sometimes it's just an overall style of dress/aesthetic that i want to create a design for and develop the personality next etc... a lot of characters here ive made specifically to fill quads w other ppls characters or fit into specific roles i wanted (ie. with fleet guys or my church trolls its like 'well i want someone to do x thing in y faction') and outside of fantroll stuff most of my ocs nowadays are just ttrpg guys where i tend to pick a class first and then race and then general characterization and design that are really informed by that class choice.
so its kind of like "get inspired/want to have [thing], build the rest around that" whether the thing starts off as design or personality or What The Character Does or smth... it's a different start every time! usually figuring the actual design out is a very early step tho since i am an artist and drawing them helps me really kind of figure them out and what they LOOK like is really important to me......... i do a lot of pinteresting also either finding fashion refs/inspiration or just putting together #aesthetic boards for characters a lot (the amount of times 'what would the moodboard look like' has affected my dnd character creation process.. good lord)
also its partly just preference and wanting things to be really coherent and Thematic but also partly Been Making Homestuck Troll Characters For 10 Years disease BUT deciding on a pretty limited color scheme to stick to all the time both in design And in like moodboards and whatnot is really important to me also lol
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cocklessboy · 11 months
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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redstarwriting · 1 year
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pda/general affection hcs | i.
ft. hobie brown & miles morales
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request?: yes
request: “Hiiii!!! I am absolutely IN LOVE with ur the clash series and I can't wait to see how it progresses!!! Could u do some pda/general affection hcs for the spider verse characters? I would love to see Miles and Hobie hcs but it's rlly up to whatever characters u would wanna write for. Endless thanks!!”
warnings:  language, cuteness, mentions of dying, mentions of injuries, mentions of throwing up, mentions of being overwhelmed
a/n: i love hcs lol this was actually how i first starting writing and it’s so fun bc i can be my sarcastic self without having to change any of it teehee, thank you for requesting anon! thinking of doing this for other characters to, what does everyone think?
i’ve made a pt ii. to this with gwen and pavitr if you wanna check it out!
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hobie brown | spider-punk
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pda
- he’s kind of a middle ground - not crazy about it - not against it at all - he just - hold onto your hats for this one - ✨he does what he wants✨ - ofc it also depends who’s company you’re in - if y’all are with Miles, Gwen, and Pavitr, he’s super comfortable and a part - of his body will always be touching yours - but it’s not like he’s goin out of his way to be like LOOK AT MY PARTNER - HOWEVER - if he’s ANYWHERE where there are authority figures? - *cough* miguel *cough* - he will just start to make out with you - LMAO - “Hobie, can you stop kissing your partner and listen to me.”   “No.”   “You’re aware of how rude you’re being?”   “Good.” - if you don’t like it ofc he won’t but he WILL be touchier with you in those moments - because it pisses people off - and he loves that - also if he felt threatened? - he’d probably get a little touchier than usual - but honestly he almost never feels threatened so who knows if you’d ever experience that - and if he did ever feel threatened he would feel better knowing that you always wear one of his studded bracelets - ppl will ask where you got it and you’ll be all - “Oh! My boyfriend Hobie!” - he loves seeing the hope drain out of anyone’s eyes when he appears behind you after that statement, he finds it so amusing every time - he’s only obsessed with a few things - like there is something he will ALWAYS do - he is OBSESSED and i mean OBSESSSSSEEDDD with having his hand in your back pocket - at all times - only if it isn’t around your shoulders (another obsession of his) - like y’all are going to one of his shows? - you enter with his hand in your back pocket - after gets offstage? - hand in back pocket - walking home? - hand in back pocket - sometimes y’all will walk instead of him picking you up and webbing back home JUST BECAUSE he wants to put his hand in your back pocket - he also LOVES using you as an armrest - if you’re short, he places his arm on your head like an armrest - if you’re average height, he’s still using your head as an armrest - if you’re tall or as tall as him he will climb a wall to use your head as an armrest - it gets you flustered and he thinks it’s adorable! - and eye contact? - he will keep his eyes trained on you at all times - he’s always looking at you - or else he’s looking for you - only looks away SOMETIMES when he’s talking to other people - “Hobie, I’m over here.”   “Yeah, I know.”   “So stop looking at them, I’m the one talking to you.”   “Yeah, but you ain’t the fittest person in the room so piss off, eh?” - that being said - there is something he just doesn’t do in public - he doesn’t hold hands - i do feel like he would hold pinkies with you upon request - but holding hands just isn’t his thing - in public👀
general affection
- THIS MAN HAS THE WORLD FOOLED - he acts all nonchalant about it - acts like he only does pda to go against societal rules - which he does BUT ALSO - he is so touchy - he isn’t clingy by any regard - but he LOVES being affectionate - just like the smallest things - every morning when y’all wake up in the same bed together and he wakes up before you (which is a lot bc he doesn’t sleep well) he will place a feather-light kiss somewhere on your face so he doesn’t wake you up - but like clockwork - he will do it - and after he will just lay there and hold you for a bit - even when during the night the two of you separate from each other he will always reach out for you during those times - and he will maneuver you back into his arms so he can just lay there with you for a bit - every time you ask him why he just tells you you make him a “bloody softie” - which yeah you do - but also - he gets scared when he comes home, you won’t be there - with his job that isn’t really a job and all, he gets so nervous that you’ll just be fed up with it and leave - or worse, you’ll be used as bait for him - bait which he would immediately take, of course - he even does it because he thinks about the possibility of him not coming home one day - and he wants you to feel like you were loved if that happens - he also just loves the little smile that comes to your face every morning - when you realize he’s done it again - and that is just ONE THING - he hates getting injured, but would lie if he said he hated getting patched up by you - when you’re cleaning his wounds with alcohol the two of you hold hands - he’ll squeeze when it stings and you’ll squeeze when you feel bad - so you’re kinda squeezing his hand the whole time - but you know how i said he doesn’t hold hands in public? - at home it’s a different story - watching tv? - hands are held - looking at the stars from the top of a building? - hands are held - throwing up after drinking too much? - hands are held - so is hair - and he rubs your back - you rub his - he adores back scratches (not when he’s throwing up just in general LMAO) - one thing he didn’t realize he loved so much until it happened was when he was sitting and playing his guitar on y’alls bed - just mindlessly finger picking some melodies - and you came up and sat behind him and put your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed his cheek and just - stayed there - it made him melt - he loves it so much - he especially loves it when you hum along - even if you can’t hold a tune - it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard he doesn’t care - you can expect him to be all over you the minute he gets back from being Spider-Punk - especially when he has a bad day - i could probably give more examples but this is already kinda long lmao oops
overall
- he LOVES affection - public and private - if he loves you, he’s gonna show it - he’s gonna scream it, literally and figuratively - everyone will know y’all are together - which he loves - but that’s not why he does it - he just loves you - and doesn’t care what other ppl think 🤭
miles morales | spider-man
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pda
- omg this lil man is so awkward - i’m far older than him and he makes me think of how nervous and awkward i was at his age when it came to any type of romance - so i can see him being SO unintentionally awkward in public - he tries so hard to be cool - but omg - the tiniest thing will go wrong and he’ll go from 😏 to 😟 - everything is the end of the world until you assure him it isn’t - like the time he saw you outside around Brooklyn Visions Academy and thought it’d be so cute to go up behind you and cover your eyes and say “guess who :)” - except it wasn’t you - you were across the street and watched it all go down - he literally made eye contact with you the minute he tried to be cute - the HORROR on his face - he was immediately apologizing to the random person he just did that to - in the moment you were so confused - but when you and him were in his dorm and he was flailing his arms around -and yelling in lowercase explaining it? - oh my god - hilarious - he was all pouty when you started laughing so you had to attack his face with little kisses to make him cheer up - one would have done the trick but he was grateful for all of the ones you gave him regardless - or the time he went to wrap his arm around your waist during lunch because he wanted to be all cute in school and you turned around as soon as he put his arm out and tried to walk and his sturdiness and strength made you literally drop your lunch tray and the food went everywhere - and there you were again in his dorm as he was flailing his arms around and yelling in lowercase apologizing because you just got new shoes and he ruined it and— - shut him up with a kiss, would you? - a display of public affection that always happens though is you’re always in his jacket - to the point where he has two of the same jacket now so you guys can be twinning :,) - “Look, babe! Same jacket!”   “Oh my god wait! We’re gonna be so cute!”   “I know, right? Pretty smart and cute of me, huh?”   “Very smart and cute of you, Miles.” - he also loves to have his hand on top of yours whenever he can - he’ll do it in class - if y’all go out to eat - if he’s sketching and you’re next to him - and holding hands in public is a favorite of his - it’s very tiny things that he does because every time he tries something big something goes wrong - like opening a door for you and motioning you to go in before him - and always being ready to steady you if you would trip (which happens more than he thought it would) - and always fixing your necklace that he bought you for your birthday (with the help of Rio) when the little clasp comes down in the front - he’s constantly staring at you with a dopey grin on his face - literally will get called out in class because he’s just 👁👄👁 - and then he gets all flustered  - but the smile you get on your face letting him know you like him that much will relax him - will go from “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to draw attention to you!” to “yeah, you like that? imma do it more then.” - he’ll also pretend to drum on you with his pencils when you’re near him - especially if he has his headphones in - he likes to play this game where you guess which one of his songs he’s jamming out to - sometimes he says you got it right when you get it wrong just to see you get excited - and he doesn’t necessarily mean for this to be a public display of affection, - but his constant drawing of you is frequently watched by other classmates - the only person who has successfully seen his bold moves of affection is Ganke, and he pretends to gag every time lol
general affection
- he’s such an affectionate boy 🥹 - like i said, Ganke is the only one who successfully sees his physical affection plots work - he’s much smoother when people aren’t around - and yes, he has shown you the shoulder touch - you did it to him once and he short-circuited - i’m so serious he accidentally shocked you - but then he hugged and kissed you for like 40 minutes afterward cause he felt bad - so it wasn’t too bad of an experience - but when it comes to physical affection in private, he’s worlds better at it - any time he plays video games, whether that be with you or Ganke, he has his leg over top of yours - He loves watching movies with you where you lay your head on his lap and he just mindlessly draws little shapes on your shoulder - he also loves having you laying on top of him while y’all cuddle - it makes him feel safe (and he gets to steal soooo many kisses from you) - you’re kinda like his very own weighted blanket but not even because his spider strength makes you feel like a feather - but it’s also an easy way for him to keep a hold of you and feel like he’s protecting you - he also loves to take you web swinging - holding you super close and taking you to a tall building away from anyone who can see y’all - he loves that - sometimes he’ll have like a whole picnic type date set up and y’all will just have a cute lil date on the top of the one world trade center - he also loves having you over to his place - his parents love you - and you love them - they make him keep his door cracked when y’all are in there together but it’s mainly because they love to peek in and see their son so in love - Jefferson took like 74 pictures the first time he saw y’all napping together - And Rio took like 52 pictures when she caught the two of you on the roof of the building and he was playing you a playlist he made for you - he does that a lot but that was the first time Rio saw it - she was ecstatic lol - he occasionally will just poke you for no reason - and by occasionally i mean he does it constantly - “Miles? Why did you do that?”   “Do what?”   “I literally saw you poke me.”   “No, I didn’t”   “…”   “…”   “I did, you’re just so cute, I don’t know.” - he also loves drawing on your hand - the back of your hand has constant Miles doodles - sometimes it’s stuff like the two of your initals in a heart - sometimes it’s Spider-Man - sometimes it’s just whatever was on his mind - but you love your constant Miles hand drawings - and he feels like it’s some sort of way for other people to know you’re his - but when he does it it’s so cute - cause he’s so gentle - and no one is watching - but you’re sitting there and just smiling as he creates a work of art on your hand and the playlist he made full of songs that remind him of how you made him feel the first time he saw you is softly playing in the background - he calls them temporary tattoos and one day you’re going to actually get one of the doodles tattooed on you somewhere - he’ll probably have a heart attack from how much he loves it but hey that’s fine he’ll recover - speaking of he loves to draw with you - he doesn’t care about your skill level, he just loves to be creative with you - he also is very much all about making sure you’re eating - getting enough sleep - prioritizing yourself above everything else - and if anything is ever bothering you - he is There - he will always be there and it’s very comforting - he just wants you to be happy all the time and does his best to do so - and you feel the same - so any time the responsibility of Spider-Man is too much for him - or when his parents get on him because he’s hiding half of who he is - you’re there for him - often times after he comes home from a long day of Spider-Manning he’s the one who is being held, but you’re fine with that - cause he can be vulnerable with you and he needs it
overall
- Miles is getting the hang of being in a relationship - he really does love pda but is so bad at it lmao - when he gets better beware - you will be a melting mess in public all the time - but for right now it’s just behind the scenes where he’s able to show how he really feels - give him all the hugs he needs ‘em
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spirits-having-flown · 7 months
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“matthew, it is with heavy heart i say goodbye. the times we had together are honestly among the favorite times of my life. it was an honor to share the stage with you and to call you my friend. i will always smile when i think of you and i’ll never forget you. never. spread your wings and fly brother, you’re finally free. much love. and i guess you’re keeping the 20 bucks you owe me.” - matt leblanc
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“i am so grateful for every moment i had with you matty and i miss you every day. when you work with someone as closely as i did with matthew, there are thousands of moments i wish i could share. for now here's one of my favorites. to give a little backstory, chandler and monica were supposed to have a one night fling in london. but because of the audience's reaction, it became the beginning of their love story. in this scene, before we started rolling, he whispered a funny line for me to say. he often did things like that. he was funny and he was kind. 🤍🕊️" - courteney cox
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“oh boy this one has cut deep... having to say goodbye to our matty has been an insane wave of emotions that i've never experienced before. we all experience loss at some point in our lives. loss of life or loss of love. being able to really sit in this grief allows you to feel the moments of joy and gratitude for having loved someone that deep. and we loved him deeply. he was such a part of our dna. we were always the 6 of us. this was a chosen family that forever changed the course of who we were and what our path was going to be. for matty, he knew he loved to make people laugh. as he said himself, if he didn't hear the 'laugh' he thought he was going to die. his life literally depended on it. and boy did he succeed in doing just that. he made all of us laugh. and laugh hard. in the last couple weeks, i've been pouring over our texts to one another. laughing and crying then laughing again. i'll keep them forever and ever. i found one text that he sent me out of nowhere one day. it says it all. matty, i love you so much and i know you are now completely at peace and out of any pain. i talk to you every day... sometimes i can almost hear you saying "could you BE any crazier?" rest little brother. you always made my day... ❤️🕊️” - jennifer aniston
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“matty, thank you for ten incredible years of laughter and creativity. i will never forget your impeccable comic timing and delivery. you could take a straight line of dialogue and bend it to your will, resulting in something so entirely original and unexpectedly funny it still astonishes. and you had heart. which you were generous with, and shared with us, so we could create a family out of six strangers. this photo is from one of my favorite moments with you. now it makes me smile and grieve at the same time. i imagine you up there, somewhere, in the same white suit, hands in your pockets, looking around— "Could there BE any more clouds?” “ - david schwimmer
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“shot the pilot, friends like us, got picked up then immediately, we were at the nbc upfronts. then... you suggested we play poker and made it so much fun while we initially bonded. thank you for that. thank you for making me laugh so hard at something you said, that my muscles ached, and tears poured down my face every day. thank you for your open heart in a six way relationship that required compromise. and a lot of "talking." thank you for showing up at work when you weren't well and then, being completely brilliant. thank you for the best 10 years a person gets to have. thank you for trusting me. thank you for all I learned about grace and love through knowing you. thank you for the time i got to have with you, matthew.” - lisa kudrow
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friends cast remembers matthew perry 🤍🕊️
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MY LONG AWAITED SUCCESS STORY PLUS RANT/YALL NEED THIS STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND READ
First things first
I’m tired of being nice
I have took time out of MY day to help you guys
EVERY DAY
I have given tips methods
Advice answered questions
Replied to countless amounts of DMs
Etc etc I’m not providing false hope here I AM trying to help you guys
I’m getting so many different suggestions and asks
Let me say this
STOP
from now on
No more questions
If it’s urgent
Like you really wanna know something
DM me
I WILL respond
No more questions asking how to enter the void
My account is literally talking about HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE
Are instructions not clear?????
Get off your butt and fucking do it!!!!
Stop procrastinating stop being lazy stop asking questions you spreads know the answers to
And for the love of God
STOP ASKING ME TO ENTER FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!
I’m doing what I can to help you all manifest
But it’s YOUR job to make it happen
Y’all used my kindness against me and it’s pissing me off I’m tired of people not even asking anymore
Just begging me
I AM NOT A MAGICIAN
I was literally YOU
not too long ago
I am a nice person but I am at my limits
Stop repeating questions
Look at my page for the answers you need
Stop asking me to enter for you
If it’s not happening
DM me for ADVICE
I used to be the kid that got asked by others to do their homework for them
If I didn’t put my foot down
Y’all were gonna drive me insane
Literally
I love y’all but stop depending on me
Just ask
For advice
But stop treating me like a Genie
And I manifested for someone and it doesn’t work
Then what
Am I a liar now???
Am I fake??
Like are you serious
Bruh I’m serious when I say
I’ve had enough
Read this story to see how YOU CAN ALSO
Transform your life
I literally went from
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
I went from slitting my own wrists and going in my closet trying to hang myself EVERY FUCKING NIGHT
I used to stare in the mirror
Crying about how my body looked
I used to go to school scared because I was getting abused by guys there and bullied by girls
All my friends turned their backs on me and I literally said
FUCK IT
I don’t deserve this fucking life so you know what I did????
I changed it
It’s so easy it’s insane
I too over complicated it
I too was desperate
But your desires are yours
They just are
Ignore them MF negative thoughts
Matter of a fact don’t even call it that
You are giving your “intrusive” thoughts power by saying they are negative
Don’t label them as intrusive thoughts
THEY DO NOT EXIST
THEY WILL NEVER MANIFEST
And I’m not just saying that it’s true
It’s soooo fucking true
By labeling them as “intrusive” or “negative” you’re giving them power
To take over and control your life
When this is not what you want
Don’t fear your own head
Bitch it’s YOUR BRAIN
It can’t NOT listen to you
Change your goddamn assumptions
You are a bad bitch you’re hot beautiful
You’re THAT bitch
Bad bitches don’t beg we make shit happen
Get off your cute ass and go get your dream fucking life
Bitch you can have it all
You can marry Shawn Mendez
Be the sexiest model on the planet (but you’re only 5’3) OK ANDDDDD
Marissa Rose is the first 4’11 runway model
You mean to tell me it’s not possible???
They have plus size models
Shirt models
Models with tig ol biddies
Models with tattoos models with piercings models with scars etc
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
You can get a call back from that job
Better yet fuck 9 to 5s
Bitch YOU ARE RICH
You are literally Jeff Bezos
Don’t manifest “small shit” cuz if you can get an apartment and a job
You can also manifest $100 million and 2500 square feet mansion
You can have superpowers
You can be a master manifestor
You can become a celebrity and overnight
You can meet your favorite celebrities at awards shows
You can sit next to Ice Spice at the Grammys
EVEN SHE MANIFESTED HER DREAM LIFE
There’s proof in her old tweets and in your interviews
YOU CAN HAVE HARRY STYLES TICKETS FOR WHENEVER HE DECIDES TO DROP AN ALBUM
YOU CAN BE THE NEXT BEYONCÉ
YOU CAN MEET OR EVEN PERFORM WITH TAYLOR SWIFT
YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOU WANT
YOU CAN SHIFT TO ANOTHER REALITY AND MEET MICHAEL JACKSON
YOU CAN HAVE THE SINGING VOICE OF AALIYAH OR MF MARIAH CAREY
YOU CAN MANIFEST THAT YOUR DOG NEVER DIED OR THAT
YOUR EX STILL MISSES YOU
KANYE WEST MANIFESTED KIM K
TOM HOLLAND MANIFESTED ZENDAYA
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU CANT HAVE
MICHAEL B JORDAN WAITING ON YOU HAND AND FOOT????
YOU CAN ENTER THE VOID MANIFEST YOUR Sp
AND WAKE UP NEXT TO YOUR CRUSH
YOU CAN MANIFEST BEING IMMUNE TO BAD SHIT BEING A GODDESS BEING SO BEAUTIFUL THAT PEOPLE FORGET MEGAN FOX EXISTS
YOU CAN MANIFEST LOOKING LIKE MARILYN MONROE
OR MADISON BEER
YOU CAN MANIFEST TALENT
BITCH ITS ALL POSSIBLE
You OWN THIS SHIT THIS IS YOUR LIFE BOO
Go fucking get it!!!!!!!
SUCCESS STORY
I was tired of own shit so I used the method that I created
I already posted it
Go read it
Here’s what I manifested
1. SP
I manifested a girlfriend because I’m bisexual asf
And I created her on my phone
Just write if list of what she looks and acts like
I manifested my dream career
I manifested platonic SPs
As in friendships
Money
A strong intuition
More knowledge
A better self concept
Immunity
The ability to hypnotize with my eyes(OK I HAVENT TESTED THIS OUT BUT IM EXCITED TO)
Meeting a celebrity
Can’t say who but I manifested it for the future
I even got pets now!!! A puppy two kittens and two snakes!!
I manifested lots of cool talents
I improved my dancing!!!!!!
I was insecure about my voice
So I changed it
Deadass I sound kinda sexy now
I wanted a whispery ass voice😭😭
So I got oneeee
I also manifested a LOT of personal stuff that I won’t share
Unfortunately I’m SUPER protective of my soul and just overall self
And I’m not posting a face reveal
This might seem surprising to most
My passive aggressive behavior but this is literally how I am daily
I really am nice but y’all just make me ANXIOUS
But still
I love you darlings soooo much
Like for real
But please just pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Don’t make me your wish granter
Make your own wishes come true
If it’s cool with y’all
I’ll manifest tonight
That entering the void will be easy for you guys
But you HAVE to do it yourself I can only guide you
You got this babe
If you got offended it’s working
That means you needed this
Take this tough love and go use it for good
I better see some goddamn success stories this month or we gon fight
(Not literally that’s just my humor talking)
Love you bitches
Now go meditate before I appear under your bed tonight and yank yo shit
Love youuuu💗💗💗💗💗
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neiveel3llson · 2 months
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Obey Me! Incorrect quotes
Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:
NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"
NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."
Solomon being an old ass man:
NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."
Satan for no reason at all:
NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "
NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."
Leviathan being depressed:
NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"
NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."
Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:
NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."
NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."
NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."
NB MC: "Le growl."
NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."
NB MC now that they're a demon:
NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."
NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."
NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."
Solomon can't cook:
NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."
NB MC: "This is a lie."
NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."
NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."
MC just wants to go home:
NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."
NB MC: "Then get up."
Levi is sick of Satan:
NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."
NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"
NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."
Levi self-deprocating:
NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."
NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."
NB MC: "Alright, square up."
When MC first came:
NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."
NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."
Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:
NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."
NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."
NB Belphegor: "It's MC."
Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:
Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."
Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:
Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"
MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"
Mammon: "Yes."
MC: "I'd sleep."
Thirteen is going insane:
Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."
Diavolo is far too concerned:
*after discussing a plan*
Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"
Diavolo: "Is this legal?"
Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"
Satan loves to boast:
Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."
MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"
Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."
It probably wouldn't work anyways:
MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
Thirteen: "...Thanks."
Levi and Garfield:
Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."
Math doesn't work:
MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"
Thirteen: "Niether."
Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."
Venomous or poisonous?:
Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."
Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"
Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."
Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"
Lucifer: "That's voodoo."
MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"
Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."
Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"
Solomon: "That's kinky."
Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."
:P done
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poge-life · 1 year
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𝔹𝕦𝕫𝕫𝔽𝕖𝕖𝕕 ℝ𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕋𝕖𝕤𝕥 ~ 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕨 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕖𝕪
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“I’m (y/n) (l/n) and this fine looking gentleman is my boyfriend, Joseph and today…we’re doing the BuzzFeed relationship quiz to see how well we know each other.”
Drew let out a groan at the use of his first name, looking over at you, “I don’t like when you call me that. You only call me that when you’re mad at me.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before placing one on his shoulder and looking down at the laptop. The questions listed were more like a checklist rather than actual questions but there was a variety to choose from.
‘Their birthday’
“(Y/B/D) (Y/B/Y)” He answered, tapping his hands on the desk
“November 4, 1993.” You said, “I didn’t believe him when he told me he was 26 when we first met because he doesn’t look like he’s 30.”
Drew let out sigh, shaking his head, “I don’t like to talk about it.”
“You’re getting up there, grandpa.” You teased, letting out a laugh as he shrugged your head off of his shoulder.
‘Their Astrological Sign’
“Your astrological sign is (y/s/s). Most compatible with mine, by the way.” Drew said, looking over at you as you agreed, “Obviously. You are a scorpio. Totally makes sense.”
‘Their Phone Number’
“Okay, my number has been leaked so many times that I’m not even gonna let him say it,” You declared as Drew agreed, “I know you know mine because you use it at Dunkin’ all the time.”
You just smiled at the camera as he rolled his eyes at you.
‘Their Biggest celebrity crush’
“Nick Cirillo is his.” You answered, “Nick gets more attention than I do when we’re on set. Especially this season.”
“Nick is a beautiful man, what can I say?” Drew chuckled, raising his hands in surrender, “Yours is always changing. But, if it were to come down to it, I would have to say…(y/c/c). You talk about them a lot.”
You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, turning to give him an ‘are you serious’ look. Drew winked at you before turning back to the computer.
‘What their nickname is’
“Drewsph is a big one between our friend group,” you said, “I call you ‘baby’ a lot. I’ve also called you Drafe before on set.”
“When have you ever called me that?” He asked, confusion on his face, “I’ve literally never heard that one.”
“I do it when we’re on set and you’re in costume but not acting,” you explained, “you’re not exactly Drew and you’re not exactly Rafe. So… you’re ‘drafe.’”
Drew just looked at you with a blank expression before looking back at the camera, “I call her ‘babe’, ‘hun’, ‘sweet girl’ has been in there a few times. Maddy calls you Pookie.”
You let out a groan , banging your head against the desk, “They didn’t need to know that.”
“You called me Joseph, it’s fair game, babe.” Drew leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of your head.
‘Their coffee order’
“Oh good lord. Yours is always changing,” Drew answered, looking over at you, “Your current one is (y/c/o). You also do that vanilla cold brew from Starbucks a lot.”
“Do you know exactly how I get it though?” You asked
“5 pumps of vanilla and an extra pump of sweet cream.”
“You always just either drink an iced coffee with a little bit of creamer and like a spoonful of sugar or you get an Iced Almondmilk flat white.” You answered, “because you’re weird and can’t have a normal fucking coffee order.”
Drew narrowed his eyes at you, pursing his lips in the process, “Says the one who just weeds out their coffee with creamer.”
“Because straight black coffee is disgusting.” You argued, “If I wasn’t supposed to drown out the taste of coffee with creamer, it shouldn’t have been created.”
“So dramatic.” Drew mumbled and you mocked him “ ‘so dramatic’ Yeah. Okay.”
‘Their favorite alcoholic drink’
“Yours is different every time we go out,” You looked over at Drew, who agreed, “You drink beer in the summer, corona or Coors. When we go out to dinner, you do either whiskey. On the rocks. Or some kind of cocktail.”
“Yours depends on who you’re with,” Drew said, “You and Maddy have wine parties and go crazy for Mimosas at breakfast. But when we go out, you have (y/d/c).”
You threw your head back with a laugh at how crazy you both sound, “we sound like we’re alcoholics.”
“You and Maddy are just about there.” Drew shrugged, ignoring the look you sent him.
‘Their favorite co-worker’
You rolled your eyes at your answer, “Once again, Nick. But you also spend a lot of time with Austin and JD. But out of those three, I’m going with JD. You two hang out a lot together and he’s always at our apartment.”
Drew seemed pleased enough with your answer, “I’d say…Maddy or Rudy. You and Maddy instantly clicked when you two met and hung out more than the rest of us. But with Rudy, you two always find ways to entertain yourselves when you’re left alone.”
You had a grin on your face as you looked at the camera, “It’s always a good time with Rudy. He is the definition of letting the impulsive thoughts win. There is never a dull moment with him.”
‘Their pet peeve.’
You had to think about this one. Drew was a pretty calm person when he was around everyone and didn’t let anything really bother him. You couldn’t remember if he mentioned anything that bothered him.
“People chewing with their mouths open is your top one,” Drew said, “when people don’t take their shoes off before they sit on the couch-“
You cut him off before he could continue, “First off, we have a white couch and two, is it so wrong I don’t want whatever is on their shoes to be on our furniture? That seems like a pretty reasonable one to me.”
“Okay. I’ll give you that one. You also hate it when people don’t stack their dishes whenever we leave a restaurant.”
“I was a server in high school and college and I can say, it always made my job easier when we were busy.” You argued
You looked at Drew with your head tilted in thought, struggling to think of anything, “It’s not a pet peeve but it’s something that bothers you. When people come up to you at parties and think you’re like Rafe and give zero shits about your feelings.”
Drew let out a groan as he looked at the camera, “Please don’t come up to me and ask if I wanna do coke. I don’t do coke.”
“It’s amazing how many people in LA can get their hands on it,” You added. “You hate when people go through your camera without asking. That’s a major one I can think of. You also hate when people come over-“
“I do hate it when people come over.” Drew nodded and you rolled your eyes at him. “As I was saying, mr homebody, when people come over and use the shower and don’t hang up the towels or put out new ones.”
Drew looked at you in bewilderment, “You say that you it’s not something that wouldn’t bother everyone else. I don’t want to walk into a bathroom and step on a wet towel or be showering and not have a towel in the bathroom?”
You didn’t say anything as you just stared at him. You shook your head as you turned back to the camera and Drew just mimicked you, crossing his arms over his chest.
“And there you have it! I think this proves that we know each other better than we thought we did.” You smiled, looking over at Drew, who agreed, “It’s not like we’ve been dating for three years or anything.”
“Anyways, season 3 is now streaming and if you wanna see more of us and our beautiful friends, go ahead and watch it! And we hope you enjoyed this as much as we did!”
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arlana-likes-to-write · 2 months
Note
Can you do a Natasha x fem Reader based off wildest dreams by Taylor Swift? The idea I had was something like R and Nat having feelings for each other and then end up kissing or something a one of Tony’s (Tony is R’s dad) parties. They end up have a secret relationship because R is scared to come out to the team and especially her dad. But they end getting caught by Thor who accidentally tells Tony and the team at a dinner or something. But there’s a happy ending
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Note: I do apologize but I kind of changed the ending on this but I do hope you enjoy it.
Warning: secret relationship, reader is closeted for the beginning, kissing, angst with a happy ending, drinking, self-doubt, miscommunication
Relationships: Natasha x Stark!Reader, Tony x Pepper x Reader (platonic)
If there was one thing about your father, he could throw a party, and most of the time, you had no idea why a party was happening. You knew the team returned from a mission. They saved the day, were the heroes, and now they were drinking and partying. All expect Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow was nursing a Long Island iced tea outside the party. She was wearing a black mesh jumpsuit. The top was sequined with a deep v-neckline and long sleeves. It was a showstopper. Every head seemed to turn towards her but ignored every advantage, man or woman.
You sighed, stood up from your spot at the bar, and pushed your way through the party to the outdoor balcony. You felt her eyes on you as the door closed behind you, and the sounds of the party became muffled. She would come; you just had to wait. So you walked to the patio set in the corner and sat down.
The cool summer air caused goosebumps to form on your skin. You enjoyed the cooler weather, and the sun blasted the city during the day. It recorded high temperatures this year. “You are going to get sick wearing just that,” you knew she was smirking without looking. You were more focused on the city skyline.
“Come keep me warm then,” this time, you looked at the Russian as she walked over to you. She sat down next to you, her thigh barely touching yours, but you felt the warmth she gave off. This was the nature of your relationship with Natasha. Constantly flirting, teasing touches, and longing looks at one another. That was it. It was as if you were both too scared to take that final step. “Are you not enjoying the party?” You turned to face her. Your arm bent on the back of the couch, and you rested your head in your hand. “The talk of the town is that you’re a hero.” You were caught off guard by the bitter laugh that escaped from her, and she sipped on her drink. You frowned.
“I’m not a hero.”
“I think you are,” she said, placing her hand on your thigh. You were wearing a skirt, so you enjoyed the feeling of her hand on your skin.
“You look good,” she said, changing the direction of the conversation. Did you wear this for me?” You rolled your eyes but placed your free hand on top of hers.
“No,” you deadpanned. “I don’t want to inflate your ego, Romanoff.” She smiled and moved closer to you. You thought she was going to kiss you. Instead, she rested her head in space between your neck and shoulder. “Nat,” your voice shook. “What are you doing?” She hummed, and the vibration caused a shiver to travel down your spine.
“I was thinking about kissing you,” she pulled away, and you felt the warmth of her breath on your lips. “What do you say to that, pretty girl?”
“I’d say, what are you waiting for?” Her lips were softer than you expected. Her hand moved to your cheek, keeping you close as the kiss depended on it. She ended it. Her lips were red, and her cheeks were rosy.
“Let’s get out of here,” she whispered. “Drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” You have never moved so fast in your life.
Now, your relationship with the Black Widow has changed. The longing looks were still there, but the flirtatious behavior was replaced with stolen kisses when the team wasn’t looking. Too often, Natasha pushed you up against the tower’s walls and kissed you as her life depended on it, always ending before the team caught you. No one knew, especially your father. For six months, Natasha and you kept your relationship a secret. Even when you knew Natasha wanted to show you off at every party, cuddle with you during moving nights, or claim you as hers. It was you. You weren’t out yet to Tony, and the man was trying to set you up with every eligible bachelor in the city. You were so scared he would be disappointed in you. So you hid, and you pretended it wasn’t kissing you.
*
You woke up to an empty bed, and the spot Natasha had slept in the previous night was cold. There was the lingering scent of her perfume on her pillow. You had an apartment a little away from the tower. Tony told you often that you could live in the tower, but you liked the sense of privacy. It was also the perfect place to be with Natasha, away from the team. You could be all over her, which you were last night, and a fight broke out.
You were needy and missed your girlfriend, which caused you to be attached to your girlfriend like a koala. She laughed it off at first, poking fun because she was usually the one that constantly wanted to be close to you. You grumbled something about being unable to hug her all day, which was true. You were both so busy the only time you could touch her was at night or early morning before your busy schedule whisked you away from one another. As the night carried on, you noticed a shift in her mood. With Natasha, it was up in the air on how to deal with it. Sometimes, she was honest and told you the truth. Other times, she bottled everything up and shut down.
You decided on the direct approach and asked what was bothering her. She was quiet for a moment and focused on the Bond movie that was playing. It was her night to pick, so you weren’t surprised when you returned from the bathroom to see it queued up on the TV. ‘Are you ashamed to be with me?’ she asked.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time she’s asked you this question. As soon the question was asked, you knew the direction was headed. Over the past six months, it was the only thing you fought about. Hurtful words were said on both sides. She was tired of being your secret. Even though you fought about it before this time, it felt final. She was almost fed up waiting for you.
You sat in your bed and stared at the clothes she had left in your room. Most of them were folded neatly in the space you made for her in the dresser or hung up in the closet next to yours. These clothes were from two nights ago when you ripped them off your girlfriend. You slumped back in the bed, pulled Natasha’s pillow over your face, and inhaled your scent. You needed to get out of bed, but the weight of the fight and waking up to Natasha being gone was soul-crushing. Sighing, you force yourself out of bed to take a quick shower.
You were part of the lead team of scientists at Stark Industries. A position you had to work your ass to get the position and prove to everyone you were more than qualified. You heard the whispers and saw the dirty looks, that everyone believed you got the job because Tony Stark is your father.
Braiding your hair, you entered your kitchen and found a note on the counter. You recognized the handwriting of your girlfriend. ‘Your breakfast smoothie is already blended, and I peeled some hard-boiled eggs. Maybe we can do lunch if you aren’t busy. Forever and Always.’
It was a saying the two of you said. Instead of ‘I love you’, it was ‘Forever and Always.’ Natasha found it easier to say that than the L-word. You kissed the note and placed it in your pocket. Still, your heart felt heavy.
*
There was no time to see Natasha between meetings, running experiments, and writing reports. You were exhausted and missed your girlfriend. It wasn’t until 3:30 when you saw her. She was in the kitchen, cutting her sandwich into triangles. You always found it funny, but she claimed it tasted better. Your eyes locked onto hers pointed to the side hallway and walked over there. With your back against the wall, you waited. You heard her footsteps as she stood in front of you. “Hi,” she smiled.
“Hi,” you responded and kissed her cheek. But you refused to move away, basking in the warmth she always gave off. You put her arms around her neck and hugged her. Her hands found their natural place on your waist. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m just so scared.” You felt her nod and gently pulled back so she could face you. Your arms remained tightly around her neck.
“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry, too. Forever and always, I promise.”
“Forever and always,” you whispered against her lips. She kissed you softly. In hindsight, getting lost in how Natasha kissed you was a bad idea. You bite her bottom lip, and the gasp she releases lets you deepen the kiss. Her grip on you tightened, and she pushed you back against the wall. You moaned, and it only seemed to spur her on. Kissing Natasha was everything. Every time she kissed you, it took your breath away. Gently morning kisses or rough, passionate kisses against your kitchen counter. You could spend your entire day in her arms and her lips on yours. “Ah, Lady Stark, oh-” you jumped at the sound of the God of Thunder’s voice. His eyes flickered to you and Natasha, whose arms were still around you. “How long has this been going on?”
“6 months,” Natasha answered. You’ve lost your ability to speak. The god smiled.
“Very well. I will find you later,” he winked at you and returned the way he came. Thor knows you thought. Someone on the team caught you. It was only a matter of time before it got back to Tony or Pepper. The Avengers were superheroes, super soldiers, and trained spies, but they were horrible secret-keepers.
“Sweetheart,” you snapped out of your thoughts by Natasha’s voice. “Are you okay?” You nodded, unsure if you were.
“I have to tell Tony and Pepper before it gets back to them through someone else.”
“Do you want me to?”
“No,” you cut her off before she could finish her question. You desperately wanted her to be there but needed to do it alone. You were the reason your relationship was hidden for so long. “Sorry,” you ran your hands over your braid. “I have to do it alone,” you placed her hand over her heart. The steady beat calmed you down. She put her hand over yours and kissed you softly. The kiss was so gentle it felt like a goodbye. You kept your forehead against hers and closed your eyes. There was so much you wanted to say.
What would your last request be? Would you tell her to remember you? She took you to the beach for a date. You stood in a nice dress and stared at the sunset, red lips and rosy cheeks. ‘Remember me there,’ you thought. ‘Say you’ll see me again even if it’s in your wildest dreams.’
“Forever and always,” you said again.
“Forever and always.”
*
You promised Natasha that you would find her as soon as you were done talking with Tony. Luckily, you had some paperwork to give him, so the visit had a more tangible reason to see him. You opened the door to his office as a dart was thrown, and it hit the door frame. “Oops, sorry, kid,” you rolled your eyes and pulled the dart out of the wood.
“For you,” you dropped the pile of folders onto his desk. “We just need you to verify our numbers are correct, and then we can move on to the next phase.” He groaned dramatically and flopped down into his chair.
“You know I promoted Pepper to CEO, so I didn’t have to deal with paperwork.” Your mother was a saint. You chuckled and aimed at the dart board. You threw it and hit the bullseye.
“It’s your project,” you said, walking over to the board and pulling out the darts. We don’t want another Ultron,” you saw him roll his eyes.
“You make one robot that goes rampant, and it’s all everyone talks about,” you laughed and threw another round of darts. “Do you need these back now?” He pointed to the files.
“No,” you sat in the chair and crossed your legs. “Can I not spend time with my sperm donor?” You ducked at the stress ball he threw at you. He hated it when you called him that, but you loved getting a rise out of him. “Actually,” you folded your hands. “Can we talk about something?” He sat up in the chair. It was rare for you to see the man so seriously.
“Are you dying? Pregnant? Did you kill someone?”
“No!” You laughed and scratched the back of your head. “I uh shit,” you weren’t sure why you were so nervous. You knew the man was an ally. Stark Industries was at every event during Pride.
“Angel,” he smiled. “You can tell me anything, and I won’t be upset.” Angel was the name he called you since you were a baby. You were born very premature and got sick so easily that the doctors weren’t sure if you were going to make it. But you recovered.
“I’m gay,” you whispered. “I’ve known for a while,” you said before he could say anything. “I’ve been so scared to tell you.” He stared at you, blinking a few times, but remained silent. “Right, sorry for wasting your time. I’ll go.” You stood up quickly, knocking over the chair. You left it on the ground and stumbled out of the office. You needed to get out. You needed to go.
*
Natasha was getting worried. She thought it was taking a lot longer than she thought it would. She asked the AI where Tony was, and the Black Widow walked into a shit show when she entered his lab. Tony was frantically moving holograms around, but they flashed red, and he would try again. Pepper was no better. Her phone was pushed against her ear, and she was pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. “Are we being attacked?” She asked, making her presence known. Tony glanced at her before focusing back on whatever he was doing.
“I don’t have time for whatever stupid prank Yelena or Peter pulled. Whatever they broke, just order another one,” he began to work again. I have to find her.” He said it mostly to himself. It was a mumbled and throwaway comment, but Natasha heard it. ‘I need to find her,’ Tony said. Natasha grabbed Tony by the shoulder without thinking and threw him into the chair. She steadied him so he wouldn’t fall over.
“What did you say to her?” She asked, crossed her arms, and took a small step back.
“How do you-” he squinted his eyes at her. “Look, I didn’t say anything to her.” He threw his hands to the side. It clicked in Natasha’s head. She knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. You took his silence as rejection. “Now move so I can find our daughter.” But Natasha stayed.
“Where have you looked?”
“FRIDAY can’t find her,” Pepper ended her call and walked over. “I’ve called some of her favorite sports, but no one has seen her.”
“She’s either turned off her phone or blocked me from finding her.” Natasha always believed you were more intelligent than him, but she knew where you would run off.
“I know where she would go,” Natasha turned on her heels to leave.
“Wait,” Tony called out. His frantic voice caused the Black Widow to stop. “Why do you know so much about her?” Right. If you took off, you wouldn’t have told him. Slowly, Natasha faced him.
“I’ve been dating her for six months,” she said. “So I will find her and make sure she’s safe.”
*
You knew your time was up when you heard the quiet chime of the front door. You waited until strong arms circled your waist and pulled you flush to her chest. “Found you, my love,” you smiled and chuckled. Of course, she would be the one to find you. She was the only one who knew about this place. “Tell me about this painting.”
You told her a story that captured the emotion of the painting in front of you. You stood in a small art gallery way past closing hours, but the owner gave you the key. You were an investor here, meeting the owner in Central Park while they were painting. The art gallery was small, and it showcased local and small artists. It was peaceful, and the place gave your mind a break. You kept the gallery a secret, protecting your space from the crazy personalities of the Avengers.
“Is he mad?” You finally asked. Natasha shook her head and kissed your shoulder.
“No, he’s worried he couldn’t find you,” she chuckled softly. “I may have told him we are dating.”
“Oh,” you whispered. You felt oddly okay with him knowing, even if he wasn’t going to accept you as you were. “Where is he?”
“Well, I told him to stay at the tower,” Natasha sighed. “But he’s stubborn, and I caught him and Pepper following me.” You laughed, not surprised that Tony Stark couldn’t follow a car without getting caught. You spun around to face your girlfriend, arms around her neck and hugged her tight.
“Forever and always,” you whispered.
“I love you too.” The three-word statement shocked you and made your stomach flip. Your heart filled with butterflies. You were happy and terrified but mostly happy.
You were startled when you walked out of the gallery, and your dad bulldozed into you. His arms wrapped around you tightly. “I love you,” he said. “I love you and support you even if you have questionable taste in women.” You let out a watery laugh and wiped away your tears.
“Thanks, Stark,” Natasha rolled her eyes with a small smile on her face.
“I will support you. I will always want you to be happy,” Tony continued.
“We love you no matter who you love,” Pepper said, getting out of the car and joining you. “No matter what.” You collapsed into your parents’ arms and cried against them. A weight was lifted off your chest, and you felt free.
*
The next Stark Party, you were sitting on the couch. This time, Natasha’s arm wrapped tightly around your waist and your hand on her thigh. It seemed second nature that the two of you were attached at the hip. No one batted an eye. When looking back at it, you seemed a little silly. But now you were free to live your life to the fullest.
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bettymylove · 5 months
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hello! I really love your work and I was thinking if you could write a one-shot of theo inspired by the song " Open Arms by SZA ". but somehow make it a good ending? idk 😓 ( like a slow burn or something ) reader had to let theo go but theo is kind of begging..? for reader to stay in his life and so on! idk if I explained it good enough but you can search up the song and take a look at the lyrics, you'll see what topic I'm going for!
thank you if your write this! you're an amazingg writer ‼️
never leaving
pairing: theo nott x reader
content: your insecurities push you to break your friendship with Theo, only to realize you were wrong all along.
a/n: hope this matches your expectations, I'm sorry if it didn't<33 (also I feel like I'm apologizing in every a/n)
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You could say that Theo took you in, he was the only person in your life that ever made you feel too comfortable. When you were on the train, he had befriended you and he never let his friendship falter.
Theo was everything, he was all you could ever need and it scared you how much you were dependent on him. You had never needed anyone, always doing everything by yourself but you could see that changing.
Friends weren't a usual sight in your life and Theo had changed that, but you still had your doubts and maybe that's why you had decided to tell him.
You always had a lingering feeling, that he was taking pity on you because who would willingly spend so much time with you, call themselves your best friend, he had no reason to do it.
You spotted Theo in the hallway along with Mattheo and Enzo. The former two were smoking, and Theo's eyes met yours, and he immediately threw down his cigarette, crushing it using the sole of his shoe.
His eyes stayed on you while yours diverted here and there, ashamed to even meet his gaze. You wanted to be with him, but he was ruining his life for you, he was way too enamored and you wanted to help him.
You reached the group and scrunched your nose at the nicotine smell, Theo noticed this and dragged you away. Why does he have to be sweet and make this harder? you thought.
"Theo, I-" You questioned yourself, he was the only person who knew you but it would be too selfish to make him stay, so you continued, "I don't think we should be friends anymore"
Maybe friends wasn't the right word to describe you two, you weren't dating but he never dated anyone else and it's not like you could. You always hoped it was because he harbored some feelings for you but that had been a foolish fantasy.
"Y/n, I'm sorry sweetheart, I won't ever smoke again, I mean this was the first time in weeks, I really am trying" what? he thought this was about him smoking?
"No, Theo it's not about that." you simply stated trying to make him understand about you suddenly pulling away. He stared at you, his mouth opening and closing as if he wanted to say something but really could find the words.
"You can't do this, you cannot wake up on a random day and decide to remove me from your life as if I'm a pawn in your chess board" he was almost yelling, Theo had never yelled at you nor had he ever gotten angry at you, it was always you being mad and him picking up on it.
You remembered a scenario from second year and how different times had gotten now, you had changed and him not so much but you guess it was for his better.
"Where's y/n?" The twelve year old Theodore Nott asked his friend and said friend just shrugged in response before saying, "She hasn't been talking to anyone."
You're mad, he knew you were you always shut everyone out when you were, falling silent and Theo knew just how to better your mood and so he headed in your direction.
Your flashback stopped when you saw a tear fall from his eyes, you had never seen Theo cry either, only once and that too not intentionally. He was showing every emotion of his and you stood there unable to think, mumbling a sorry before leaving him stranded in that hallway.
Theo was shocked, hurt, angry and was feeling all these emotions at once. He had known you for six years and you had left him in six minutes. He loved you and you couldn't see it.
He knocked on your door for the fifteenth time, and you finally opened it. Your eyes were red and puffed up, you were crying.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked in a small voice unlike the one he used in the hallway, he was scared to lose you.
"You don't need to take anymore pity on me, Theo, go live your life" you said with a sniffle in the end and your statement had only made him more confused.
Pity? he had never taken pity on you, and it hurt himself that you believed that nonsense. "You can't replace me y/n, I'm forever, no matter what."
You so wanted to believe him, you so wanted to be in his arms right now, you so wanted him to stop as he was doing right now but you just couldn't.
"I'm sorry Theo, but I have to" Those were last words to him before you shut the door and Theo couldn't sleep that night.
It had been 2 months, 18 days of you ignoring him and he thought he might go mad, you were driving him crazy, you not being there was so much worse than he had anticipated.
It was late in the night when he spotted you leaning against a railing, breathing hard, and when he got a bit closer he noticed you were crying.
He went to stand beside you, you flinched but then sort of relaxed when you noticed who it was. You laid your head in your hands and started crying even harder and without missing a beat or saying something spiteful, Theo took you in his arms.
It was much later that you realized that you could not live without him, he was your Theo. Your tears wet his shirt but he didn't seem to mind, he never seemed to mind.
"You won't leave again, would you?" He asked as if he knew you were coming back and he was right. "You could try, but this time I won't let you."
You smiled at him, god he was the only person in the world who would never make you feel bad about what you did, and you realise it was only your insecurities holding you back from him.
He kissed your forehead lovingly and hugged you even tighter, "I love you" he whispered, half hoping you didn't hear him, but you did.
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princessmaybank · 15 days
Text
Never Have I Ever
Pairings: Rudy x Fem!Co-star!Reader
Warnings: Dual POV, Surprise kiss, alcohol, handjob, oral (both), unprotected p in v, etc.
Summary: You play Never Have I Ever in an interview and secrets get revealed.
Authors Note: This is my first Rudy fic and my first fic in a long time! Should I do more Rudy Fics in the future? Not proof-read and sorry it's so long! Let me know what you think!
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"Hello and welcome back! I'm here with some of the cast of Outer Banks, not everyone was able to make it tonight, but we are happy to have all of you!" The TV host announced to the camera.
"Please go around the couch and introduce yourselves!" They said extremely excited. "Sup, I'm JD, I play Pope." "Hey, I'm Chase, I play John B." "Hi, I'm Rudy Pankow, I get to play JJ Maybank." "Hi guys! I'm Y/F/N Y/L/N! I play Harper!" "Heyyyyy everybodyyyyy I'm Carlacia Grant, I play Cleo!" "And I'm Drew Starkey, I play Rafe Cameron."
Everyone in the audience clapped when the cast was done with their introductions.
"We asked you, the audience, which game you'd like to see them play, and the answer that came out on top was *drum rolls with their fingers on the desk* Never Have I Ever!" The audience cheers, clearly excited to get all the juicy details.
"Now you guys can't get mad at me! These questions were asked by the viewers." The host lets out a laugh. "Sure, we all know these are the spicy questions you want the answer to." JD teases causing the host and audience to laugh.
"Let's get started! You each get a paddle with Have and Have Not on it. You'll turn the paddle depending on your answer, seem simple enough?" The host smiles. "You sure we can't do anything else with the paddle?" Chase smirked with a giggle, which made everyone start laughing. "Dirty mind Chase!" The host announced. "I never said what for!" Chase turned to Rudy and hit him on the arm with the paddle. Rudy didn't even say ow, he just began to pretend to cry.
The audience was loving everything they were hearing from you all. So far the cast has admitted to pranking people on set, forgetting lines, showing up late, improvising lines, things about childhood, some more explicit questions, etc. It was down to the last few questions at this point. Everyone was having fun just sitting and answering these questions, they all learned a bit more about each other.
Y/N's POV:
I can't stand the anxiety I felt when I heard the next question. I didn't want to lie because I'm not a good liar, but I also didn't want anyone to know. "Never Have I Ever had a crush on-set!" The host smiled, waiting for the drama that will ensue with this question.
One by one everyone changed their paddles.
Drew: Never
Carlacia: Never
Chase: I Have
JD: Never
Me: I Have
Rudy: I Have
My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw Rudy's paddle flip, but I tried to hide my reaction.
Rudy's POV:
She flipped her paddle to 'I Have'...I don't know if I should be hurt or excited about this. I wonder if she knows. I looked over to Y/N to make sure I wasn't seeing things and her eyes were already on me. I watched as she quickly changed her gaze to something different, it seems like she was flustered or embarrassed.
Y/N's POV:
After our interview was over, we all decided to go grab some dinner together. JD, Chase, and Rudy sat across from Drew, Carlacia and I. After we all ordered we just started a casual conversation about wrapping up filming.
As I reached for my drink I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up and immediately spotted Rudy looking at me, he seemed kind of nervous and quickly looked away. I couldn't stop my wandering thoughts. My eyes traveled to his hair, his beautiful, soft, blonde hair that looked so tuggable. I looked at his lips, those plush pink lips, I'd love to feel them on every inch of my body. My teeth bit the inside of my lip as I started feeling a wetness pool between my legs.
I excused myself from the table so I could use the restroom and get my thoughts in order. As I walked out of the bathroom I almost bumped into someone. Without looking up I say sorry. Before I could react I was slammed against the hallway wall with lips pressed against mine. My eyes widened as I realized who has me pinned against the wall.
Rudy's POV:
I couldn't keep myself contained anymore. I said I had to go to the bathroom a few minutes after she left, just so I could have a private moment with her. I just needed to talk. I needed to reveal my true feelings for her, I've sat back in silence for far too long. I thought I would have more time to think about what I would say, but instead she came out of the bathroom almost immediately after I got to the hallway. I panicked, I had no idea what to do so I grabbed her and pinned her to the wall, attached my lips to hers. We both moaned into the kiss and that's when we realized the kiss lasted longer than expected.
The two of us pulled away and stared at each other in shock. "We'll talk later." Is what she whispered to me before heading to the table. I hid in the bathroom for a few minutes before heading back to the others.
Y/N's POV:
'What the hell just happened?' Is what I kept asking myself. It came out of nowhere. When I sat back down Carlacia looked at me with a smirk. I give her a look that says 'what?'. She responded with a whisper in my ear. "Your lipstick is all smudged." She giggled and handed me a compact mirror. I hurry to grab it from her and inspect my makeup.
I felt someone's eyes on me and looked up. Rudy's mouth was covered in red lipstick. Carlacia was the only one to notice and you could easily tell by her face that she was shocked. So were we. Before he could make it to the table I pulled him back to that same hallway as before. "Woah- what'd I do now?" He questioned. I only held the mirror up to his face in response. "You didn't look in the mirror before coming back out?!" I whisper shouted. He only shrugged to my question.
I decided to check the women's restroom and realized no one was in there. I hurriedly pulled him in and towards the sinks after I shut and locked the entrance. I grabbed some paper towels and wet them so he could take off the makeup. "Can you take it off for meee?" He asked so sweetly with those gorgeous, enchanting, blue, puppy dog eyes. I smile and get close to him, inspecting his mouth. His hands found my hips and held me close. My hand with the paper towel found his face and I was going so slow, I didn't want this to end. In fact I wanted to grab him by the face and do it a thousand more times. Those perfect lips.. and I was able to feel them on one part that I needed him tonight, how lucky am I? Gotta get those lips everywhere else next.
We locked eyes for a moment. Rudy looked hungry for more. Before I could ask him anything, he backed me up against the wall as his lips attacked mine again. My hand dropped the paper towel from the sudden jolt. Our eyes were closed but I felt his hands wandering my body. As his fingers inched closer to where I needed him most he pulled away but his arms trapped me against the wall.
"It's me right...it was about me?" He asked with a slight amount of pain in his voice. I looked at him confused. "w-wha-" Before I could even finish my question he interrupted me. "Don't play dumb, you're a smart girl. The game. Your answer to the last question..." He stated with hurt riddling his face. I realized he was talking about the game of never have I ever back at the interview. "Rudy...who else would it be about??" I questioned. He shrugged his shoulders and looked a little insecure in the moment. "I've seen how you look at Drew, and I can't handle the back and forth Y/N." I look at him like he's crazy. "What do you mean how I look at Drew??" I was louder and sounded upset now. "You look at him like you want to marry him or ya know, like at least fuck him.." My eyes nearly popped out of my head when Rudy spoke. "Rudy. I don't like Drew like that! He's always been just a friend and more like a brother!" I take a moment to look into his eyes and it looks like they flash for a second. "I've only liked one person on set this entire time and that's you Rudy." He paints a sad smile on his face before speaking. "I'm sorry I assumed." His head drops along with his arms. I'm not sure what to say, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close. My head rested on his chest and we just held each other.
Our moment didn't last much longer. We heard a knock on the bathroom door and I remembered the door was locked. I pushed Rudy into a stall and told him not to come out. I finally opened the door and I have to say Carlacia was the last person I expected to see at the moment.
"Are you okay? You've been over here a long time, JD is checking on Rudy too." My eyes go wide as she says Rudy's name. "Oh - I uhm I'm sure he's fine." Almost on cue JD runs over. "He's not in there and he's not picking up his phone!" He rushed, freaking out about his best friend. "I'm sure he's okay." I smiled but that made Carlacia give me a squint. "Let me in." She sounded firm, I just shook my head no as she continued to repeat her statement. "Y/N. I'm getting in there one way or another. I suggest the easier way." When the word 'no' left my lips she immediately pushed past me, followed by JD with his hands over his eyes.
"Rudyyyy, ya in here buddy?" JD asked from behind his hands. Carlacia moved his hands and pointed to the closed stall that had some nice dress shoes sitting at the bottom. "Just give it up, come on out.." I said slowly. He made his way out and we were immediately questioned. We told them everything besides the kissing and that we are deeply in love, but I don't think it's important information anyway. He came up with the brilliant idea of saying my lips bumped into his and that's why he had the lipstick on him. Note my sarcasm when I said brilliant.
They could tell we were lying and hiding information but they just let it be as we walked back to Drew and Chase.
It didn't take long for us to pack up and leave. Rudy and I decided to just take our food to go so we wouldn't be a burden to the others. Drew drove here and Chase lived nearby so he took him home. Carlacia also drove here and as I pleaded for her to let me get a ride home, she pulled JD into her car. "Enjoy your ride." She winked and looked at Rudy, causing a blush to run to my cheeks. Before I could say anything else she drove off. "I'll drive you home." Rudy smiled at me. I nodded to him as a thank you before getting in his car.
The ride was silent up until now, well except for the radio, but we had been trapped in a sexual tension that felt tighter any time one of us tried to talk. Rudy was the one to break it of course, I never would've had the balls to do it. "You're a damn good kisser.." he smirked. "but next time, don't smear your lipstick all over my face." He glanced over to me with a sultry smile. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips when I heard him. The response I had stopped halfway up my throat when I realized he said 'next time'. There was a next time??? Thank fuck. My heart nearly exploded as I played his words over in my head.
The car came to a stop before I could get myself too soaked from the memories. "Welcome home." He said gesturing to my house. But when I turned my head to look at my house I saw that it in fact was not mine. "This is your house Rudy..." He only nodded in response before he got out and helped me out of his car. Rudy somehow persuaded me to come in for a little while to hang out or talk or something. It honestly didn't take much, I'm whipped for this man.
I was sat on his couch when Rudy came up behind me, handing a glass of wine to me. Before he came around the couch to sit with me, his hand lingered on my shoulder, squeezing a few times. His arm wrapped around my shoulders as he sipped on his drink I could only assume it was some type of whiskey.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked with a hint of liquid courage running through my veins. He nodded as he placed his lips on his glass once again. "How long have you liked me?" He let out some air he was holding in and set his drink on the table in front of us. "Well..." He started, snuggling closer to me. "it hasn't been too long...just since the second week of filming this season." That was nearly a year ago. Not too long my ass. "Why didn't you say anything?" I pried. "Why didn't you?" His crystal blue orbs finally stared back into mine. His lips were formed into a teasing smirk but when neither of us decided to break the silence, his face fell. Rudy's eyes never strayed from mine, in fact as I stared back into his, I noticed they only got darker when he began looking between my eyes and my lips.
Before we both knew it, Rudy's hand cupped my cheek and pulled my lips to meet his. Fireworks started to explode in my chest as our little kiss suddenly got more heated. He pulled me onto his lap and our bodies started to work together to create the friction we both desperately craved.
"Ah shit-" He pulled us apart. "how far ya wanna take this baby..?" He heaved out as my heart fluttered from the nickname. Without saying anything I slid off of his lap while his head was thrown back, gasping in air, trying to catch his breath. My knees touched the ground while my hands ran up and down his thighs.
"Before I continue...is this okay?" I ask with a squeeze to his thighs. "Yes.." He said so quietly I barely heard him. My hands spread his legs farther apart and my lips pressed to the zipper holding back his erection. I peppered kisses all around his bulge and thighs. "M-more please.." He begged, caressing my cheek.
My fingers laced around his belt buckle and tore the accessory from his body. While I was tossing it to the side, Rudy slid his dress pants down. I removed them from his ankles and threw them over with the belt. "These too.." I tugged on the waistband of his briefs.
He happily and eagerly obliged. When his cock sprung free from his fabric-jail, my eyes grew wider. Rudy was big, and I don't just mean 'big' to boost his ego, I mean I am actually scared this man will hurt me with his size.
Rudy must've noticed my stare and concern based on his reply. "It will fit.. I'll make it fit baby." He chuckled lightly. A redness rushed to my cheeks as I heard him call me that nickname again.
Before I could waste anymore time, I wrapped my hand around the base of his thick cock. He immediately grunted from the contact and threw his head back. Rudy only met my eyes after he heard me spit and felt my saliva running down his length. I quickly moved my hand to spread the wetness around, followed by a few more spits to completely cover him. His breathing was heavy, I could tell by how his chest was rising and falling.
Rudy's eyes met mine when my hand began moving for his pleasure. A small moan escaped his throat as I continued slowly. "f-fuck...fas-faster baby..." I pumped him a few more times then slid my mouth around him. This took him by surprise but he wasn't complaining. His hand met the back of my head, he wasn't pushing me, only rested it there, making sure I didn't stop. My head bobbed up and down as I gagged on his dick. Our eyes met, mine full of tears, his full of pleasure.
His thumbs pressed to my cheeks and wiped away stray tears, that I tried so hard to not let slip out. "Don't stop..please baby.." There were those butterflies in my stomach. He reached out and helped me go up and down on him.
Now he was forcing my head down and thrusting into my mouth and down my throat. "Ah..fuck..so good, so fuckin' good." He hissed. My eyes were closed, somehow helping with the blissful abuse I was receiving. "Such a good fuckin' girl for me...c'mon take my cum baby.." He groaned. His hips spasmed as his load shot down my throat.
I swallowed it all down and left his dick with a 'pop' sound. My lips licked at the fluids daring to escape. We both sat back for a moment and caught our breath. With a small smirk and light laugh Rudy stared at me. "What?" I chuckled. "I'm gonna fuck you so good..I haven't came that hard since high school." He said in amazement. All I could do was smile at his promise.
Rudy's POV:
She looked so good on her knees for me. Her hair is a mess no thanks to me. Also lipstick smeared, mascara running down her cheeks, a mix of cum and spit slipping from her swollen lips, once again all me. I saw her catch her breath and lick her lips, swallowing the mixture. She is so beautiful, I couldn't help but let out a giggle while watching her. "What?" She let her own giggle slip out. "I'm gonna fuck you so good..I haven't came that hard since high school." I meant it too. Every word. Her smile was enough to let me know she was happy about my statement.
We took a few more breaths before I pulled her up onto my lap. I held her close and captured her lips with my own. My hands cupped her ass and squeezed every time her hips grinded into me.
Y/N was desperate to get my shirt off. I sat there naked, with a pretty girl, clothed, in my lap. My hands wandered under her shirt, and she helped me remove it from her body. She whined every time our lips were pulled away from each other, which made my dick twitch under her.
When our lips found the others again, we kissed with much hunger and even more passion. What I said in the car came back to me. Something about not smearing her lipstick on me next time. Too fuckin' late. It's true we did like each other, and I'm mentally kicking myself for having sex with her before taking her on a date first. Though we both agreed to this, I feel bad that this is how it's starting. I promised myself to definitely take her out for a nice dinner or whatever the hell she wants to do, after this.
I was thrown out of my overthinking when she left my lap. "What's wrong?" Oh no. Could she hear my thoughts? I squinted and began to think of random things, testing out the telekinesis.
Pizza.
42.
Barbie.
Super Mario Bros.
Y/N.
Her perfect tits.
Her plump ass.
Her stripping in front of me.
Wait.
Her stripping in front of me?!
I was pulled back in, again. This time she was standing in front of me, giving me a strip tease. Y/N wiggled her ass in my face while she was bent over and shimmying out of her pants. My dick was standing at attention, waiting to get fondled. I couldn't help myself. My right hand found my dick and slowly pumped, I was still a little sensitive but I overall didn't give a shit. My left hand reached out and slapped her ass. She hadn't expected it based on her little jump. That only excited me more when I saw it jiggle. Her delicate fingers found her pretty lace thong and tugged down slowly. My jaw nearly dropped when I saw her dripping wet cunt.
Once again I couldn't contain myself. I let go of my cock and spread her legs. My hands squeezed her ass at the same time my tongue played with her perfect pussy. She tipped forward and placed her hands on the coffee table, trying to steady her shaky legs. I felt like I could bust again just from her moans alone. They were so small and precious, my eyes rolled back from the mix of her moans and the taste of her pussy.
Next I shoved my tongue inside her tight hole, swirling it around, making sure I reached every spot I possibly could. Like the needy little girl she is..she started pushing back onto my tongue. Y/N was fucking herself with my tongue. I could only ever dream of this moment.
"Fuck- I'm gonna cum.." She whined. Her legs were shaking as my tongue only quickened its movements. My fingers found her clit, and moved in harsh circles in hopes of tipping her over the edge. My other arm wrapped around her waist to support her when she releases.
"Oh Rudy, fuck-!" She humped my tongue again as her liquid poured out of her juicy pussy and onto my tongue. I swallowed every drop before I turned her around and pulled her onto my lap again.
Y/N took my head in her hands and our mouths made a mess together. Her hands pulled on my golden locks while my hands snaked between us. I grabbed my cock and teased her entrance with my tip. "Please.." She begged, gasping for air. "Please what baby? Use your words." I teased. "Mmm please fuck me.." She whined rolling her head back.
I didn't waste anymore time teasing. My dick slipped right inside of her. We both let out a hiss as she slid down onto my cock. "Mmm.. so good.." She whimpered while my hips rocked softly back and forth. Y/N gently grinded down on my dick, simply being needy. "C'mon Rudy... please..." She whined some more.
I couldn't handle it anymore, so I flipped our position, she was laying on the couch with me on top of her. My dick never slipped out of her either. Before I moved inside of her, I brought my lips to hers. Our moans consumed each other as my hips slapped against hers. "Oh fuck mmm...Y/N..." I grunted into her mouth. Her eyes rolled back and I quickened my pace. "Hard-harder..." She breathed out. What my girl wants, she gets, so I pounded harder against her. I felt her sweet little pussy start to clench around me and I knew she was almost there. I felt her nails start digging into my back which was almost enough to throw me over. "I'm gonna cum Rudy- I'm gonna cum..." Y/N panted. Never thought I'd hear those words come from her perfect pink lips, but I'm glad they came out. "Me too baby, mmm cum with me.." I said grunting as I pulled myself from her pussy. Her fingers found her clit and she screamed my name. That was enough for me as I fisted my cock. My cum shot out onto her, covering almost every part of her. Some hit her face, a good bit landed on her tits, and the rest spilled onto her stomach. We were riding out our highs together, catching our breaths.
We both let out a loving laugh when we came back down. "Can't believe that just happened.." She giggled. "In a good way or bad way?" I questioned. She rolled her eyes and told me good obviously. Just wanted to hear her say it. "So where does our relationship stand?" She asked sheepishly. "Where do you want it to stand? I'm happy to throw a label on this baby." I pointed my first finger back and forth between us. "I wanna be with you..." She said while twiddling her fingers. I could feel my heart nearly burst out of my chest from her confession. I nodded and pulled her onto me so we were cuddling. "I want the same thing baby." I pressed a small kiss to her lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked, praying that she wasn't playing with my feelings. "It would be an honor." She smiled and kissed my lips with a bit of passion. "Wanna go again?" Y/N asked, full of eagerness. She bit her lip as she awaited my response. I bit my lip and nodded. She came closer before I pulled her down to kiss me again. Never have I ever thought of a better way to end my night.
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toki-toro · 1 month
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|| Part 1/5!
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Gave myself the project/challenge of drawing just about every character from this silly musical :o)
Ramblings about each cat design and a brisk sprinkle of hcs below the cut off 👇
~
I say ‘just about everyone’ bc I didn’t include every single swing in the cats I have planned out. But there’s already like over 40 separate characters to draw and I included the Raffish crew in the list cause I rlly enjoy them. So I think that all makes up for the lack of unnamed male swing #2 that was featured in Broadway one time and had no pictures taken of him at any point.
These first eight took me like a month to finish. I’m hoping that none of the other parts will take me nearly that long but um :) no promises that I won’t completely drop this entire idea once I’ve realized it’s dumb
Whenever I draw a cat I pretty much always combine a bunch of aspects from different productions that I personally like. Nothing drastically different from what’s seen in a typical replica. Basically this is a big ref sheet for me for if I ever want to draw any of them again
I've changed some of their 'three words' if they either didn't fit my personal interpretation, or if they just never had any in the first place. But I do promise none of them stray too far from their original concepts
Anywho, onto the kitties !!
~
Munkustrap ~ Integrity, Discipline, Dignified
Makeup and wig very much based off of earlier 80's - 90's ish productions, such as a few actors from US tours 1 and 4. Love a good slender Munk with angular shapes;.. . .Each stripe is filled with the respective colour of fluff, so he'd naturally be very fuzzy and probably a pain to maintain
As for hcs, I only really see him being an Old Deut son, and maybe a few others…. So I’m ignoring whichever London production that said Tugger was related to them, even tho i realize that him being in the family is like one of the most popular hcs in this entire fandom lol. I personally just don’t see it but I’m NOT against it at all
Rum Tum Tugger ~ Rebellious, Perverse, Preening
Rocky Tam Tam! I went full force on Tugger since ik his original design had SO much potential to be rlly fun
He does in fact have a harness selection to choose from and he changes which one he’s wearing depending on his mood of the day
Rick Sparks and David Hibbard from Broadway, actors from US tours 1, 4, and 5, aand early 2000's Japan productions were inspirations for this big guy.
Special shout out to that 90's Mexico Tugger as well.. one of my idols 💋
Old Deuteronomy ~ Wise, Commanding, Spiritual
Deut is supposed to be trans in the 2019 adaptation and NOBODY told me. I was so mindblowned by that information.. yes Judi Dench… thank you Judi Dench ily.. .
Um I think this is literally just Ken Page from when he was on Broadway. His pigtails(??) are cute :) Do not zoom into his drawing he looks like a literal carpet
Victoria ~ Inquisitive, Romantic, Un- selfconcious
I think she’d be semi blind and very shy when it comes to verbally speaking. Thats just the kind of vibe I get whenever she mistakenly makes herself the centre of attention during the musical, like her entire solo, the pas de deux, and a few other notable parts. Isn’t rlly able to see the audience nor the people watching her do whatever. She can hear the music just fine and can recognize the vague blurs of those around her, altho she is never certain about how the others around her are dancing nor when it’s the appropriate time to just do whatever. So she does whatever the music is persuading her to do at any given moment.
Vicky’s supposed to be a complimentary opposite of Jemima, so she’s brilliant at dancing but not much of a singer (doesn’t sing in the ensemble), and Jemima is vice versa.
I gave her 80’s(?) Paris/Amsterdam inspired pigtails. .. they’re so adorable on her <3 Makeup is kinda early broadway-ish and a sprinkle of Warsaw with the long under lashes.
Bustopher Jones ~ Foppish, Gluttonous, Dapper
Bestie shows up for 5 minutes max, sings about how he love a good luncheon and then runs off into the night, never to be mentioned by anyone again. Banger character
His is pretty basic tbh! Even in some of the non replica productions his design stayed relatively the same compared to replicas lol. No improving upon perfection ig. Based mostly on Tony Timberlake fromm early London. Bustopher is underrated but I can understand why because what’s there to even say about this guy
I LOVE it when they give Bustopher face lines and detailing. Gives him so much personality. So posh so fun. Yet that aspect only adds to how many old people I end up drawing. If I draw one more wrinkle I’m going to turn into one
Jennyanydots ~ Motherly, Controlling, Complacent
Grgrgr Jenny gave me the most trouble out of anyone… . And I love Jenny sm </3
I initially tried drawing her in the outfit she wears during the tap number as per request, but it was HARD for me to make it look any good. I think I went through maybe four separate drafts until I managed to stop myself before I went insane. So no tap.
Super duper inspired by specific actresses in Broadway, such as Carol Dilley & Anna McNeely. Guys she was pink then. Look at what they took from us. And Anna looks exactly like a Jenny rn without all that theatre makeup. She was literally born for the role idk what else you want me to say
Skimbleshanks! ~ Caring, Punctual, Self-Regarding
YAYY I was the most excited for him. Little train obsessed lad dad ❤️
I think in like once year at a UK tour Geof Garratt wore thigh high warmers and they’re so good grgrgrgaheggr. I don’t think there’s any pictures of it but there is a video of which you’re required to watch. I could unironically gush about his performance for several hours, he’s my absolute favourite Skimble 💋💋 Oh and he’s not dubbed by some Scottish dude this time around which is awesome sauce
Whenever I draw this ginger I typically go with a specific makeup look from Robert Burnett in Broadway.. it’s so good and so fun to draw. I never stray from taking creative liberties at all, but he’s peak Skimble imo. I drew a more angular (and lopsided oops lol) version of the wig but it’s basically the same colour-wise.
Grizabella ~ Proud, Hurt, Indomitable
A big sobbing mess :( Griz makes me sad. Couldn’t make grey or brown hair look good in this case so I went with some of the darker looks like Linda Balgord/Liz Callaway from Broadway and actresses from US tour 5. Kinda wish I went with the design Judi Dench was given cuz WOW it’s actually pretty good.
Problem I had with my first draft of her is that she looked way too ugly. Now this time she looks too pretty. I can’t win
Referenced Jacqui Scott for the main idea of the makeup and pose. heavy amounts of mascara tears stained on her face is such an underused element. Those girlies gotta go all out to make me feel emotional. Like damn she really was suffering
I went wild on that mascara but it’s okay it looks kinda cool. Imagine she was crying a waterfall
~
Next part will finish off the rest of the song cats liekk Rumpel/Mungo, Jelly and whoever else isn’t included here idk I already forgot
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kooksbunnnn · 10 days
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Lost cause? 4: Can my happiness ever last?
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Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader
Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, makeout and kissing mentions, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks (TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+, This is purely a work of FICTION please take it as FICTION only. Therapy and psychological conversations. Tears, guilt, regret and hope maybe?
Word counts: 10.1k approx
Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you. 
Authors note: Hello, my lovely readers, or should I call you all my bunnnnys? It sounds cute to me hehe, its a cute little name for my kooksbunnnn family, the readers who wait for me, love me, and read the stories I write. Thank you for waiting so patiently, ily guys. Here's chapter 4, I got a little carried away with words, hence the 10k 👉👈 sorry for the long wait once again, enjoy the chapter now. Bye-bye!
Previous chapter
___________________________________________
Seriously breathe louder Ross
You giggle watching an Instagram reel of a scene from friends where a pregnant Rachel snaps at Ross, who was just standing as you put another grape into your mouth from the container Jungkook packed for you with washed grapes.
As you scroll through the comments on the mentioned reel, you can't help but read some of the comments,
Comment: Rachel has such pretty hair.
True. You always wanted to try her hairstyles.
Comment: people should appreciate how the writers gave every female character a different kind of motherhood and different experiences, and it’s beautiful how they portrayed every feeling. Also, I can't imagine how one of them had a miscarriage in real.
Miscarriage. This word itself makes your body shiver with fear, and you immediately feel your throat get heavy. You shake your head at this and scroll further, not wanting to cry for the 6th time on the same day.
Comment: Being pregnant is a magical experience, sure, but it's a whole ass rollercoaster of emotions, and you won't be ready for the amount of mood swings that come with it.
Yea, No shit.
Comment: I love how Rachel had a character development nobody ever expected.
Mhm. True.
Comment: Can’t believe how they ended up together even after Ross cheated on her.
That got personal, guess it was time to delete Instagram.
Month 6 and a half, day 188 since that night and you’re surprisingly alive. The night your heart got broken and you didn't think you would make it through 2 months of life.
More like, you didn't think you could make it alone, without Jungkook. Technically? Yes, you couldn't live without seeing him or hearing him for the start of your pregnancy and now he is always around you.
Always around. Helping you sit, eat, drink, lie, puke, pee, and all this while being at his respectable distance from you.
“Cut yourself some slack, you're growing someone inside you. It's okay to be dependent while you're going through so much..” that's what your mom said when you asked her about your future and if it was a mistake going through with this.
Looking back to her advice from weeks ago you feel like you are being a little hard on yourself. Therapy. Sonograms. Lamaze classes, doctor appointments, morning-afternoon-evening sickness, hormones, mood swings, and whatnot. You feel excited for your baby to come into the world but would it be wrong if you said you were scared?
When you asked these questions to the people around you these were the answers:
Mom: “Yes honey, of course, it’s okay to be scared. Your life will change, and sometimes you feel like you won't know what you’re doing, but trust me having kids is a tiring but very beautiful experience.”
Dad: “Sweetie, it's completely normal. Your mom used to freak out a lot as well when she had you. We’re here for you, it's all gonna be okay.
Namjoon’s wife, Binna: “I have seen my sister go through it and I am gonna be honest, it is difficult and the delivery is gonna be tough but the results make it all worth it. I am so excited to start my family one day, too!”
Jin’s wife: “It's a little nerve-wracking, to be honest, but it's the best thing Y/N, trust me I have never cried harder than when I saw that my test results were not accurate, I was heartbroken. Trust me, this is the best thing that would happen to you.”
Namjoon, Jin, and Jimin in different words but similar contexts: “I don't know much about how you're feeling right now so I can't say I understand but trust me, I’ll be by your side and our dumb little brother’s side always. We’re a family, Y/N.”
Hobi and Taehyung came together while you and Jungkook were having dinner: We have seen our sisters and relatives go through pregnancy, and it honestly looks so overwhelming. We respect women more every day. We’re here always, just one call away.” They had said with smiles on their faces.
Yoongi: “I am not good with words or comforting people, Y/N, but I just wanna assure you that I am always here. All of us will be there for you both. It's not gonna be easy for you, mentally or body-wise, but never feel alone. You’re our family and always will be, no matter what.” He said, patting you like you were a kid while Jungkook sniffled sitting by your side in your sitting area.
The most common advice everyone gave was: Be easy with yourself, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You’re going through a lot.
And it was true. You and Jungkook have been working on your relationship’s progress ever since your first session, and somehow it was going pretty well. You had dinner together and he made sure he attended the sonography sessions and therapy sessions with you.
You had regular sessions together and Ms. Shin recommended you both try talking about the future ahead. No definite planning, just talking about the options.
Wall paints, cradles, toys, shopping, diaper brands, baby food, everything you could see in the future around your baby. Since the biggest reason for fixing your relationship was because of your baby, you needed to familiarize yourself sitting around talking about the little person gluing you both together.
So you both decided to have dinner together daily and decided to make a pre-baby diary while eating. Yes, it was Jungkook’s idea. It's been 8 days since the last therapy session and you have already listed the paint options for the baby’s room, went maternity clothes shopping with your husband and browsed some cradle options.
All was well, right?
On the outside, yes. In your ovaries? No.
The lingering attraction you so badly tried to avoid for the past week is still lingering in the air around you. You roll your eyes as you feel embarrassment creep up your neck at how dumb you have been behaving around your husband.
You feel emotional, horny and everything at once. Absolutely mental.
♡♡♡
“I don't think I am normal anymore.”
The therapist watches you utter the sentence with a manic like chuckle. She must be thinking you're insane. You notice how her hand freezes for a mini second and then continues to pass you the glass filled with water.
“My question, however, Mrs Jeon, was how did your weekend shopping go, but you can still go on. Why would you think such a thought?” Your therapist calmly asks you after waiting for your response to her earlier question for a good minute.
You finally take the glass of water in her hand stretched towards you after muttering a low ‘thankyou’.
After what happened with you and Jungkook and his damn damp hair, you were freaking out. One moment you were feeling like you could cry out of embarrassment but the next moment you wanted to make out with him in the kitchen while he wore his white dress shirt and those grey joggers you always loved.
Okay. You know this is weird, hence the embarrassment. Duh?! Earlier you weren't able to control the urges you felt, the mood swings, the craving, and now?! This fucking arousal.
You made an appointment with your doctor as soon as you woke up the following morning, hoping she would prescribe some pills or any kind of medications to reduce the arousal you felt but it didn’t help you much because there was no way of completely avoiding that.
The doctor didn’t suggest you take the pills that might’ve helped you because you already had a lot of mood swings and anxiety episodes, those pills could’ve worsened them. She makes sense, a lot of sense but only when you thought about it with a cool head.
But at that moment, while she was telling you all that? It's just safe to say you can grit your anger in between your teeth.
Now you were sitting in front of your therapist hoping she would help you reverse the psychology or something which would help you not feel horny for your husband.
‘Your husband who betrayed you and was now trying to make up for what he did which you were okay with and hoping for everything to be better one fucking day ago but now you feel like you wanna kiss him so badly it makes you dizzy’
It was like a mantra, hecheatedhecheatedhecheated, so that you don't pull him in to kiss the shit out of his cute little face.
When you say the same things you thought, your therapist nodded her head noting something down in her notepad. Maybe she thought you were mental.
“Mrs Jeon, I would suggest you control your sexual urges towards your husband by trying to remove yourself from the room he’s in. Considering he doesn’t sleep with you, but if he does-“ but you cut her sentence in the middle by whispering quickly in his defense.
“No-no he doesn't, he sleeps outside in the lobby.” You shake your head not making eye contact, feeling somehow guilty of your husband's daily discomfort.
“And it's completely okay, Mrs. Jeon, to have your space and have some distance. It doesn't make you a bad person.”
Damn, she is good. You need to give her great ratings. You look up at her and watch as she nods her head with a small smile making you feel at ease.
“Did you talk about this issue with Mr. Jeon?” She asks you, and you shake your head slightly. Why do you feel guilty, and what do you feel guilty of most importantly? Nodding to your reaction, she says, “Would you like to discuss why?”
“Would that even change anything?” You say with a huff a second after she finishes her sentence, frustration evident on your face.
Shrugging she says, “It might make things clearer..” her eyes slowly crinkled due to her hair falling in her eyes. Flicking it away she looks at you slightly tilting her head. “Isn't this what you chose, Mrs Jeon? Being honest is what your relationship needs at this point, isn’t it?
Sighing you realize how you might be running away from things, after all, you chose this journey. You both did and somehow you feel you might be turning into an obstacle towards a better family life, yourself.
Turning your head towards the plant in the room’s corner, you speak with a distant voice, “I don't know, All that I have gathered from the problems I have had in my life is that I could win any kind of battle if it were against my mind but if it's my heart I am fighting against? It's a fucking lost cause.”
“What do you think is the reason you would be fighting your heart, Mrs jeon?”
You scoff whipping your head towards her, eyes glistening. Digging your nails before saying what you feel just on the tip of your tongue,
“I love him.”
There's a pause, followed by your therapist humming.
“I love him so much I wanna forgive him and try to make things better but..”
“But..?”
Another pause. A suffocating one.
“I can't seem to do that to myself or my kid. What kind of an example would I be if I give in to something that's not right?!” After you notice how your expressions change into a frustrated scowl in the tiny mirror behind your therapist's head you feel your tears start to fall off.
“I am sorry.” You say sniffling and somehow embarrassed of your feelings taking over you.
“It's okay, Mrs. Jeon, here..” she offered you the tissue kept on her desk, and you wiped your tears chuckling at your situation.
How did your life get to where it was? You have no absolute fucking clue.
♡♡♡
You wince minutely when you reminisce how your last session went with Ms. Shin.
One moment you were crying because you can't forget the night he told you that he cheated on you and one moment you cried because you wanna hug him and then cry into his chest about how your hormones wanted you to kiss him but you can't because then you would cry about how you shouldn't be feeling like this about someone who betrayed you, then again you cry because you can't forget how he betrayed you.
It's like a frustrating cycle. A cycle you wanna throw off of a freaking dam to let it drown and maybe rust when the water starts to break the metal. Maybe that would help break it because there was no way in hell you could succeed in breaking it.
Not to mention how you have to pee every minute of the day and then crave pickles with some honey on them while sitting on the toilet seat.
Sounds tasty, right? Yeah, you shake your head in a quick no too as soon as you step outside and think how pickles would rather taste better with peanut butter on it.
As you deal with your tears and the spasmodic hand stomping on the pillow or table around you to let go of the kissy-kissy thoughts in your head, your husband stays clueless.
Not clueless about the hormones, na-ah.
Just the fact that you stare at him before you slap your hand on the table, or thump down the cup on the table too harshly for anyone to not notice. He tried to ask you if you felt okay. But ended up getting yelled at for not leaving you alone.
You once yelled at him for leaving the windows open which you asked to be left open, saying he should’ve known better when to close them.
This looks cute in shows and movies of how cute the mother-to-be looks yelling at a clueless husband but you on the other hand feel bad for making him feel actually at fault when he has been trying his best to make you feel comfortable.
What does he do after getting yelled at? He apologizes, does what you asked or yelled at him to do, and leaves. He still comes back and eats the dinner your mother made with you and your dad helping her out.
You feel terrible for how you are behaving around him, the worst part being that he takes everything you do and say to him without even reacting ever so slightly. You tried living life with him normally but you can’t forget the thought that lingers in the back of your head; that the favorite part of living your life with him was the affection, the touches.
It's frustrating to say the least that you haven't even hugged him in the last few months, you know that there is a reason behind the distance but since your mind tells you to create boundaries and try things again, your heart doesn’t understand how someone could try to make things better from a distance. Especially you and Jungkook.
He did everything according to how you needed without you telling him. Your childhood therapist once told you no matter how perfect a person tried to be there are certain situations where you can’t control the things the universe decides for you. She said that when you were having trouble accepting that you were the reason one of your ex-best friends changed schools, stating that you made her feel insecure. You had no idea.
So you accepted your fate, then and now as well. Doing things as they go in the flow. You had a discussion with your parents about how you are supposed to be having dinner with Jungkook as advised by your therapist so your mom and dad eat their dinner by 7 o’clock as advised by their doctors while you accompany them by having your soup or tea.
They thought it was a good idea so you agreed to do it.
By 9 o’clock or quarter to 9 Jungkook enters and you have your dinner and the discussion you are supposed to have about the baby.
It has been 15 minutes since your mom and dad went to their room after insisting on sitting with you while you wait for Jungkook to be back. You have your phone in your hand which starts to buzz with Jungkook’s name on the screen with the bunny emoji.
Picking up with a smile you answer to his voice.
God, you missed him.
Yep, you said it.
Picking up he seems like he is on the way and is trying to get his phone back from someone. “Hyung give me my phone back, hold his hands Yoongi hyung, hey-!” yes he was snatching his phone back.
You can hear a bunch of yelling noises in the background and you recognize the screaming voice immediately, Jimin. You shake your head at the chaos and smile putting a grape in your mouth.
“Hey, Y/N I am sorry I am a little late, I just wanted to ask if it's okay with me to bring Jimin and Yoongi Hyung over to your parent's house we have a bit of a situation on our hands.”
“Yeah, of course, kook, it's okay. Is everything okay though?”
Silence.
“Hello?”
“What did you call me?”
Your eyes widen at how you didn't even realize how normal this felt to you. You haven't called him Kook ever since you cried in his car after your first therapy session, always walking on eggshells.
“Y/N?”
Courage. Squeezing your fist and eyes shut you say,
“I called you k-kook. Is that not okay?”
Your leg starts to shake not knowing what to say next.
“No! Fuck, I mean it's more than okay. You know what? Let's not talk about it I don't wanna jinx it.” You can hear him smile and you can't help but widen your smile. It has been so long since you smiled this wide and you somehow feel better.
You repeat the words in your head, Don't feel guilty Y/N, go with it. Go with the flow. Cut yourself some slack. You’re going through a lot, be easy on yourself.
You smile and hear him chuckle before-
“Oh, no hyung not in my car ugh, we’ll be there in 5 minutes Y/N, I’ll reheat the food when I get there don't worry. Yoongi Hyung push his head out the window please-” And he hangs up.
Smiling at the chaotic phone call, you get up to check on your mom and dad if they are still up, wanting to tell them about the guests coming over. But since they were soundly asleep with the nightlights on, you switch them off, regulate the fan's speed, and take the phone from your sleeping-snoring mom’s hand plugging it to the charger and checking if they had water around them.
After checking up on your parents you close the door to their room and walk towards the kitchen to drink some water. Even the small activities could make a pregnant lady tired and the jug in your room was empty so you walked slowly towards the fridge. The pain getting better but still evident in your lower back which makes you put a hand on your back while you open the refrigerator.
Suddenly you spot a Harley bike model Jungkook gifted your father when he came home to meet your parents for the first time. Your father was really happy seeing the model, him being a Harley fan. If age didn't play a role in life your father would've still been traveling with your mom like those couples you saw in uni.
You remember how you and Jungkook loved to travel on his bike, you holding onto him as if your life depended on it, hair flowing from under the helmet and him accelerating the bike through the streets, hills, and empty roads leading to the cabin the whole group planned to visit during his and Namjoon’s collective birthday celebration.
Damn, you were so in love. Still are, and will probably always be.
The group has always been there for you, they're like the family you never knew you needed until they came into your life. The chaos was a part of your life, the screams, the teasing, the weekend game nights, the celebrations, movie nights which turned into everybody and their girlfriends crashing in the lobby on the mattresses Jungkook bought for the night stays.
You remember what the situation was when you met him for the first time six years ago.
♡♡♡
“Damnit Tae, jump outta here.” You argue with Taehyung as the three of you look out the window of your room.
“Fuck no. Are you mental? I’ll die if I jump out of here.” Taehyung says whisper yelling at your roommate, Aeri, who rolls her eyes at her dramatic “friend” panicking with wide eyes.
“No, you won't, don’t be dramatic.” You scoff as you push him slightly in the windows direction.
“It's a whole ass floor Y/N, the fuck is wrong with you?” He scowls at you as he regains balance panicking.
“Maybe we should call Jungkook.”
“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook with that loud-ass bike? Nice. Sneaking a boy out of our room with the help of another boy. Fan-fucking-tastic, Taehyung.” You clap two times with a straight face.
“Guys,” your friend giggles as she tries to focus on the main topic in the room, while Taehyung goes back to sit on your roommate’s bed.
“I think he is right, Y/N, we could at least get help from JK.”
“Mhm, help in getting kicked out.” You mumble not so quietly earning yourself a middle finger from Taehyung and an eyeroll from Aeri.
“Fine, do whatever you want.” You say rolling your eyes.
The thing was you were only partly nervous because of your forced eviction but also because you had never met Jungkook, the campus crush. More like the crush of every girl who saw him on his bike. You were not one of them, at least you wouldn't admit that but you wouldn't deny that he was a pretty face to look at and a very hot piece of ass to stare at. The proportions of that man were totally insane.
Tiny waist, big- biteable chest, broad shoulders, thick thighs, luscious hair locks, biceps people could hang on, the all-black outfit, and the very contrasting facial features. If he wore a helmet people wouldn't imagine how the guy had big doe boba eyes and a cute mole under his lips, skin better than half of the girls who spent so much on products. He always had that glint in his eyes making him seem so innocent, innocent but with a physique that can crush people.
You never talked to him so you don't know how he sounds or if he is a rude person. You just know he is Taehyung’s friend whom he hangs out with around the campus.
While you thought about how Jungkook might or might not be your crush, Taehyung called him and you all got up to sneak him out of the house.
“Wait you don't need to come if you don't want to Y/N,” Aera said after looking around the hallways and telling Taehyung to tiptoe downstairs since her aunt’s room was on the same floor as yours.
“H-Huh? N-no I wanna go as well. So that if she wakes up I can tell her we both went out to get some fresh air while the guys ran away y-you know? “
You said. Terrible at lying. You wanted to see the man coming to save his friend.
Your friend was in a hurry sneaking her fuck buddy out so she didn't pay attention to what you said and how you said it. A total stuttering mess.
Walking out of the house you never imagined him to be so..so..so tasty. Thats the only words that come to your mind. He parked his bike at a safe distance because of how much noise it made and approached you guys.
The image in your hand was like the 480p version of how beautiful and ethereal he was but in reality, he had tattoos. Tattoos! Not even a small one, a whole arm that stretched inside his white sleeveless tee.
You thanked the cloth gods for making this particular article of clothing because you needed to see how hot men you would want to eat up looked in it.
“Told you, you would need my help.” He smirks as Taehyung walks past him only turning around to come back and give Aera a quick kiss and then running away again, making her blush.
“Run dumbass, their landlord would skewer us on her cane,” Taehyung says and you chuckle at how exaggerated he made Aera’s aunt sound. At your chuckle, Jungkook looks at you and you pause mid-laugh when you notice him looking at you.
“Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He extends his hand towards you and you blush not knowing how to respond to his raspy voice.
“Yeah, I know you.” You say staring at him with heat on your cheeks and immediately kick yourself mentally.
You sound like a fucking creep. I know you? seriously?
He smiles, “..and you are..?
“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to be rude I’m Y/N, Hi heh.” You extend your hand to shake his and he whispers your name under his breath eyes still looking into yours.
“Hi Y/N, you’re very pretty.” While he rubs his thumb on your already heating skin making it burst into flames as he rubs it again.
“Kook!” Taehyung yells and you break the eye contact, taking your hand back.
“It's okay don't be sorry, I didn't find you rude rather, I found you cute.” He says as you look at him again. You think it was an imagination of your beauty-struck head or maybe it was due to dark but..did he just check you out?
You give him a confused look at what he said, making him chuckle. He sounds so deliciously hot and raspy. God.
“That you know who I am, considering how you’re always in the art studio. I found it cute.” He says with a smile leaning slightly towards your face and you lean back at the same time he leans in. He stays towering over you and maybe notices your expressions. You just hope he didn't notice how red your cheeks might be.
Does he know about the art studio? Only people close to you knew about it.
Seeing your wide eyes, he straightens up to his original height and chuckles. He sounds so good, it reaches inside you and you knew that you were fucked.
“Kook?” You didn't even notice when Taehyung came back to drag his friend back. Slapping his shoulder and then sprinting towards the bike again.
“Kook, let's go. She switched on some kind of light in her room oh god. She’ll beat your and my asses collectively.” Taehyung yells waving his friends over.
“Hey we’re gonna be in the beat party as well, Y/N lets go,” Aera speaks from the driveway of her aunt's house, slowly retrieving her steps.
But you were stuck. Stuck on how his bunny teeth played with the piercing on his lips. Not being able to bear eye contact with him, you flicked your eyes away.
When Taehyung yelled again from a distance, Jungkook responded with a ‘yea yea coming’ while stepping backward with his white sleeveless tee sticking to his body.
Generally, you didn't like summers but you were so glad it was hot enough that he decided to wear a sleeveless outfit, for you to ogle his tattoos.
Taehyung and Aera are already away from the both of you, Taehyung at a safer distance from the house and Aera still waiting for you at the house hoping her aunt just woke up for her nightly washroom trips and didn't see you guys with these beautiful men.
With a smile on his face, he stepped back facing you. Clicking his tongue twice to get your attention, you looked at him to immediately regret locking eyes with him. He winked at you and said, “See you around, sweetheart.”
You swear you saw his eyes flitting to your lips and then to your skirt that was flowing with the slight wind in the surroundings before he turned around and ran towards his panicking friend.
You knew he was casually flirting and was out of your league. And since you didn't believe your luck would suddenly turn out to be on your side you didn't think of his wink as something more than something casual.
But goddamnit, the crush you never admitted to, was finally admitted in your heart.
♡♡♡
You smile as you pick the model in your hand at the fond memories of how you tried so hard to remain just friends with the guy even though he hung out with you daily, accompanied you in your art studio confirming he knew about you before meeting you. You never knew your friendship could be more than what it was but maybe growing up and getting jobs made you want to prioritize yourself and your wants, so you decided to tell him how you felt but he beat you to it three days before you planned on confessing.
“Sorry sweetheart, wanted to kiss you as my girlfriend on Valentine's Day without the fear of rejection in the back of my brain.” That's what he said before he kissed the living daylights out of you on the gazebo at your favorite park.
You smile remembering how he took you to the park saying the cherry blossoms were blooming early that year, you believed him nodding with excitement and you went along with him running and holding hands. Reaching there you were sad that no blossoms were blooming but then he gave you the promise ring he ordered from the vintage store you loved so much. You knew it cost him a lot but when you asked him about it he just chuckled deeply avoiding that question and before you could pick that topic again he kneeled on one knee and asked you to be his girlfriend officially.
You smile at the memories and keep the bike model back on the shelf, the flashback coming to a halt as you come back to the living room when your phone buzzes with your husband's name on it.
He didn't ring the doorbell nowadays to be cautious in case your parents were asleep. So you went to the door and opened it already expecting Jimin leaning on Jungkook’s shoulders while Yoongi just snickered at his younger brother, seeming unconscious but Jimin was very much awake, also very very drunk as he clung to Yoongi telling him everything was going to be okay. Jungkook held three bags as he gave you a sheepish smile at his Hyungs’ behavior.
“Yes, Yes, Jimin. It's gonna be okay.” Yoongi held Jimin very firmly while giving you a small smile before asking where to put him so that he could blubber nonsense somewhere your neighbors wouldn't hear.
Jungkook chuckles and leads them to the guest room while muttering a ‘hi’, looking at you from head to toe as if checking if you had any injuries.
“Hi,” you whisper, enough for him to catch your voice.
“How was your day?” You ask trying to take the bags from his hand but he tilts his body giving you a look that says ‘Really?’.
Sighing with a smile, you close the door and follow him inside.
“It was good- Oh shit the guest room door is locked. Wait hyung let me get the key” he put the bags on the counter while a grunting Yoongi held a wobbly Jimin in his hands.
“Wow realized it so soon,” Yoongi says sarcastically l as Jimin looks at you with a smile on his face. Gasping dramatically, he removes himself from his brother's shoulders and comes towards you, slightly tilted, but he somehow reaches you.
“I can see your baby.” Your eyes widen at what he said and you scoff a laugh as Jimin kneels down in front of your belly.
“He means you’re showing, and he is noticing that now, only, he sounds creepy as fuck.” Yoongi walks back to the sofa and sits down with a long sigh.
“May I please?” He says as hovers his hands over your belly with big puppy eyes and you chuckle at how patiently he wants you to answer.
“Yes, Jimin you may.” You say with a laugh and he whispers to your tummy hovering his hand above it like it's a crystal ball.
“Hi tiny person, I am Jimin, your godfather..” he giggles at the end of his sentence while you hear Yoongi chuckle from the couch.
“The fuck? When did we decide that hyung?” Jungkook stands next to you with keys hanging from his fingers, narrowed gaze focused on his elder brother.
“Shhhhhh” Jimin shushes Jungkook loudly almost spitting on your belly. You laugh as he looks pointedly at Jungkook.
“You don’t get to decide that. Dumbass.” Jimin slurs out and tries to get up grabbing the trousers Jungkook wore, almost making him fall over with his weight.
“Hyung, fuck you’re heavy when drunk.”
“I fucking know right? I don’t know how that happens..” Yoongi mumbles typing something on his phone, stretching his neck sideways to pop the strained muscle.
Jungkook stumbles while you also try to help him balance Jimin by bending slightly to keep a hand on his shoulders, but then you remove it as Jungkook whispers ‘I got him I got him’ assuringly not wanting you to take any strain.
Smiling to yourself you walk over to the couch adjacent to where Yoongi was sitting, asking if he needed water or anything like that.
“Nah I’m good. Thanks.” He waves his hand as he keeps his phone aside watching how Jungkook manages to drag Jimin back.
“...You’ll look good in a tutu as well..” Jimin says to Jungkook poking a finger to his sides continuously. “You know a white one with stars on it, I’ll gift it to the baby so that you can match your outfits then” Jungkook rolls his eyes in annoyance as Jimin’s voice fades into the guest room Jungkook opens for him to sleep in.
“Let me go check up on him yeah?” Yoongi says softly getting up from the couch, picking up a banana on the way to the guest room. Raising one of his brows and the fruit in the air as if asking for permission to eat it. You tilt your head with narrowed eyes passing on the message, ‘You have to ask?’
He smiles slightly shrugging and heads towards the guest room while pealing the banana.
“Jungkook, is he under control now or still wobbly- oh, fuck no-“ Yoongi asks from outside of the room but then pauses in his tracks as you hear Jungkook whine slightly out of disgust and you immediately get up feeling a slight ache in your lower back due to the hurry.
“Is everything okay?” You ask concern evident in your eyes.
Yoongi chuckles and moves away from the door, shaking his head. “Not gonna eat this now, sorry, Y/N.” He says, still laughing.
“Oh no did he-“Before you could say something Jungkook stomps his way out of the guest room and you immediately feel nausea entering you seeing your husband's sleeve covered in vomit.
“Hyung could you please help me heat the food? I’m gonna go take a shower, sorry hyungie just please-“ he continues walking towards the common bathroom at the end of the hall.
“Sure” Yoongi chuckles moving towards the fridge.
“I’ll help you..” you take a step towards the crockery cupboard.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll do it, you sit.” He says pausing you midway.
“No Yoongi lemme help..” you say but he just points the small spoon towards the island chair.
“It's okay Y/N I’ll do it.” He says nodding while opening the Tupperware filled with the various side dishes and the tofu-miso stew.
“I just don't wanna trouble you Yoongi, thanks though.” You say giving up on offering help as he heats the food one by one in the microwave.
“Oh it's not for free, I am taking the godfather’s title in exchange for this.” He smirks glancing at the room Jimin slept in.
“Yeah okay, try beating Jimin for the title. You chuckle looking in the same direction for a second and then at the man heating up the food. While he just gives you a small laugh while warming up the rice in the cooker, mumbling, “We’ll see who wins.”
You smile and pat your feet on the ground in a rhythm as Yoongi places the food on the kitchen island. You feel guilty for making him do this but he has already rejected your help three times so there was no point in arguing over it.
“Y/N?” Yoongi whispers looking at a plate in his hand.
“Yea?”
“I know it's none of my business and I should not even say something about this but can I just say it's really nice that you’re trying again?” He says lifting his head to look at your reaction to what he said.
You feel yourself freeze, this is the first time you had a conversation about your situation with Jungkook, the cheating, and the decision to try again. You sure talked about the pregnancy and yes there was always that lingering awkwardness in the air but this was new.
“Yea..” you sigh looking at your lap for a second and then lifting your head to give him a soft smile.
“Not everyone is lucky enough to get a chance to revive their relationship.” He says still looking at the plate while tracing the pattern on it with his index finger.
You know that his relationship ended badly, you knew how much he loved his girlfriend, you know he acts like it's okay but his dark circles tell another story, you know he looks thin and exhausted all the time but acts like it's nothing.
You know it's not nothing.
“Yoongi, I am sorry about-“But before you could finish your sentence he laughs almost in pain.
“It's okay Y/N, it's done, she is gone. She is happy without me and I can't change that.” He says and you feel your heart break at how small he sounds.
“It sucks but it's true.” He says softly, half to you half to himself, still trying to process his grief over the relationship he lost. After an uncomfortable pause, he continues.
“I saw him Y/N,” he points his chin in the direction of the washroom Jungkook was taking a shower in when you look at him confused at the change of topic.
“..and don't think I am taking his side 'cause he is like a brother to me but I say this honestly, he was devastated while he was away from you.” You just stare at him with eyes round and wide not expecting this conversation to go this way.
“He forgot to eat and sleep, just kept asking Jin Hyung and me if we saw you or if any other of guys saw you.” He says while you look at him nervously talking about the topic, picking his nails.
“Do you remember the time you were at the hospital due to your abdominal pain?” You nod at his question feeling your throat tighten up uncomfortably so you divert your gaze down at the plate with little blue flowers printed on the ceramic.
“He ran to the hospital since his car was still parked at your previous address.” Your eyes widen and you whip your head toward the man standing in front of you.
What does he mean he ran?
“What?” You whisper.
“Taehyung had a night shift and he was alone at the apartment. I tried to tell him to wait for me to pick him up when he called to ask if Taehyung left office or not, but he just hung up saying it would take too long.”
“So he ran to you.” You feel your throat tighten as humanly possible, eyes burning.
Wasn’t Taehyung’s house almost double times the way compared to your route connecting your house to the hospital? You can't even comprehend how he felt when you didn't even talk to him that day.
Shouldn’t you feel like he deserved to feel like that? Shouldn't you say that he did that to himself? That was what you should've said right? But your heart thumps harder every second making your eyes spill the tears gathering in them.
You remember Jungkook was really out of breath and was also wearing different slippers that day.
“Since it was pretty late, he couldn't even book a cab quickly..” Yoongi looks at you and notices how your gaze is zeroed onto him and immediately understands your expressions.
“Hey, I am not trying to make you feel bad or something like that, what he did and what you guys decided is totally none of my business but I just wanted to tell you that giving a second chance is not easy and I really wish things work out for your relationship. I really appreciate you both working through so much stress you know? I can see what his vision meant when he wanted to quit last month.”
“What?” You whisper
“No no, he doesn't want to quit now, I mean after what you both decided Namjoon talked to Mr. Park and handled it..” when Yoongi doesn’t see you respond to whatever he said he realizes that you look lost.
“You don't know, do you?”
“Don't know what?” You whisper again, heart racing. Why do you feel you're not gonna like what he is gonna say?
There is a pause, a very uncomfortable pause. He visibly scans your face and inhales sharply as if deciding against or in favor of telling you about the whole situation.
You clench your pajama pants into your fists as your hand rests on your lap. The kitchen felt stuffy all of a sudden. This might seem like an overreaction but your body feels defensive all of a sudden, deciding between running away or ripping the bandaid off.
Deciding on the latter you ask,
“Yoongi, please tell me?” You request softly and at your almost inaudible request, Yoongi sighs, giving up. He shuts his eyes for a second and then looks up smiling sadly at you.
You hold your breath.
“Um, he was promoted to be the next VP of the agency, and uh..” he rubs the back of his neck looking away, avoiding the eye contact with you.
“And he rejected it?” You whisper and Yoongi nods, still not looking at you.
“The job required him to give more time into his job, more hours away from home. From you and her.” He looks at you and then points his chin in your tummy’s direction.
“So when they told him the details about the hours and the business trips, he immediately refused. Since he was the most eligible person for the job, the CEO, Mr Park..” he says,
“Mr. Park.” You say at the same time nodding.
“Yes, Mr. Park tried convincing him saying he’ll adjust according to your due date and whatever changes Kook would want to his schedule but this kid..” Yoongi chuckles shaking his head, “..rejected it, saying if he had to quit the job he would do it but he would not add onto whatever hours he was working.”
“Then suddenly..” Yoongi picks up a tangerine from the fruit bowl and starts peeling it.
“He came up with an idea of actually quitting in order to give more time to you and your child, so when Namjoon said and I quote, ‘Y/N is gonna kill you if you do that, she knows how much you worked for this’ Jungkook said that you both decided mutually that rejecting the promotion was okay and you were okay with whatever he decided about his job. Which…looking at you right now doesn't seem like it.” Yoongi looks at you with a hesitant expression, offering you the peeled fruit.
You feel your ears heat up and not out of good reason, you are actually mad at him. You were hearing all of this for the first time and you can't believe he backed off from the job he got offered after working so hard. The reason he used to work his ass off, extra time, no holidays, always punctual, not caring about his meals and whatnot, and then just fucking backed off?
"When was this?" You say gritting your teeth, eyes glistening with angry tears, eyes still on Yoongi.
You take the piece of fruit from his hand and shove it in your mouth, eyes red with tears in them.
“Y/N..”
“Why didn't he tell me? And wait a minute he said it was a mutual decision?! What the hell?”
“Y/N, he must have had a reason for saying so, he did explain the reasons and it sounded like he gave it a lot of thought. “
“Don’t you mean WE gave it a lot of thought? hah.” You say chuckling bitterly, swallowing the fruit, your hand going through your hair in frustration as you face the direction where your husband showers unaware of the angry volcano on the other side of the bathroom door.
“What the hell is wrong with him?!” You almost scream but lower your voice remembering your parents are asleep, immediately looking around warily and Yoongi does the same, with similar expressions on his face.
“Sorry, I just feel so mad right now.” You say squeezing your eyes shut, speaking through your teeth.
“I guess you should talk to him,” he says looking at you softly.
“You’re damn right I will-“ you say
“But not now, privately, okay?”
You look at him breathing heavily, cheeks wet with tears, his eyes pleading to not lose your calm immediately. You look at his anger and countless emotions swirling in your mind, nose flaring.
“Ah, okay fine.” You say throwing your hands in frustration, coming back to wipe the tears off your cheeks.
The next few minutes Yoongi tried not to talk about anything and you just swirled your spoon in the spoon Yoongi served for you. He constantly made sure you were sipping the soup, giving you water, and peeling another tangerine for you.
He almost sighed in relief when the bathroom door clicked open and Jungkook came out of the washroom. The steam rushed out of the white-tiled space along with a drippy Jungkook and a goddamned towel around his waist.
You feel madder now. Is that even a word? You don't care because that's how you feel. Madder.
Remember when you said how your emotions were on a roll these days? Yea. It was an understatement because the moment you saw your husband with that damned towel hanging low on his hips your anger turned into angry horniness, you wished, only for a second, but wished Yoongi wasn't here so that you could straddle the half-naked guy and ask him about the stupid decision he made.
Although Jungkook had immediately rushed into the room to get some clothes on him it was enough to make your ovaries light up on fire. You're mad and horny, two things that don't go well for you. Especially not in this state.
"Hey guys I am sorry, I had to wash off all that puke stench. Why didn't you guys start eating yet?"
"I don't know maybe you took very long to shower." You snap at your husband and he freezes in his tracks to get the plate.
"Y/N, I was there for only 10 mins."
“I don't know, felt like 10 years."aAt your tone Jungkook looks at you concerned and then at Yoongi who watches awkwardly, the whole scene unfolding in front of him.
"Guys you know what I think I am gonna head home, I have eaten with Jimin earlier and need sleep."
“No- yoongi eat please-“ you request feeling guilty for making him awkward.
“Yes hyung, please finish your dinner.” Jungkook says, looking at his hyung but then flicking his gaze back at you.
“No no its really okay.” Yoongi says, already walking away from the island.
"Okay, hyung." He says after a second his eyes wandering back to you observing your sour mood. Eyebrows furrowed with thought while you just chewed on the rice mixed with the curry not looking at Jungkook after waving to Yoongi.
Yoongi walks towards the doorway with slow steps, the footsteps echoing along with the tinkled spoon made inside the curry bowl. He grabs the keys and walks towards the two of you, giving you a nod and patting Jungkook’s back.
"Take care Y/N and you too, kook." He stares two seconds longer at the younger male and then nods at him. Jungkook gets up halfway to which Yoongi waves in a signal for Jungkook to not bother seeing him off.
The door clicks shut leaving you and Jungkook in silence.
"Y/N wha-"
"Eat, Jungkook."
At your stern tone, Jungkook flinches and just resumes eating in silence. Silence for almost 10 minutes. 10 slow and irritating minutes. It was like the clock ticked 10 seconds forward and then 40 seconds backward. The silence added to the awkwardness you both felt, making the time more unbearable.
Again, did you mention slow?
All the thoughts come back to your mind, every emotion holding your neck in a chokehold, everything that you’ve felt since the day started comes back. The conversation with your mom about how she asked you if you wanted to move back in with ever, you thought your mom wanted you to leave so you cried. All the emotions you felt then catching up to you.
The thoughts of being alone with him made you happy and cry at the same time in the afternoon while you finished working on the report your seniors asked you to finish before your leave started. You feel all the emotions you felt while rewatching the notebook in the evening before dinner. You feel all the emotions at once, those emotions which you felt when Jungkook called you from his car and, also when he called you from his office to check if you had your medicine.
The emotions of frustration and anger when Yoongi told you about the job offer and how your husband rejected it. The thoughts about something bad happening to your child come back and make your head dizzy. It's too much at the same time. You're happy that he is eating his food in silence because if he did say anything before you finish, you might actually run to the bathroom to vomit all of your emotions.
After minutes of frustration and anger and sadness and silence, you finally got up and almost threw the plate in the sink, Jungkook tried to get your plate but you just brushed past him huffing finally making Jungkook ask you the question you didn't want to hear and hear at the same time.
You wanted to talk to him about the whole thing and didn't at the same time. You were on an emotional rollercoaster, and Jungkook was gonna be the bird that hit the coaster blades, getting hurt.
"Y/N did I do something wrong?"
"Oh, do you do anything right these days Jungkook? I don't think so." You chuckle throwing the glass of water into the sink thankfully not breaking it.
Turning towards your husband, you immediately regret saying what you said because he just looks like a kicked puppy. Big eyes filled with gloss, nose red, and wobbly chin. His features make you feel like the worst human being on this planet.
"Y/N, I am sorry for whatever it is but can you tell me what's wrong?" He whispers looking- no, pleading with his eyes as you stand like a wall in front of him.
"You tell me, did you do anything to make me feel stupid and pathetic recently?" You say pointedly. Venom. Pure venom.
"Baby.."
"Don’t. Don't call me that." You say firmly.
"Shit- I am sorry Y/N please tell me what happened..wait-" You push yourself away from the counter instantly feeling the pain in your lower back.
“Bab- Y/N wait.” He rushes to your side holding one of your hands and one holding your waist, giving you support but somehow his touch stings, in the best way. You hate your mind and heart. You just hate it.
“No, I can walk myself I am not a toddler.” He doesn't let go of your hand even though you tell him to, he helps you walk towards your room. You try to tell him that you can walk alone but he doesn't listen instead he just hums or mutters 'I know' and it infuriates you more.
Why isn’t he saying anything? You’re literally acting like a spoiled kid right now.
Opening the door he walks you inside the room and helps you sit on the bed. As you take heavy breaths placing a hand on your chest you feel how rapidly your heart raced.
Removing the lid of the glass sitting on your nightstand, he helps you sip some of the liquid. You feel tears in your eyes and when he removes the glass from your lips he just smiles sadly at you and wipes the tears from your face with his thumb.
Leaning into his touch you say, "Why are you okay with me being like this to you?"
Okay, that's a dumb question ask Jeon Y/N, you're mad at him but just looking at him you feel like you are treating him like shit for something he doesn't deserve. Of course, he cheated on you, of course, you want to not love him because of that, and of course, your heart aches when you think of the betrayal but can you ever unlove him? Can you ever hurt him knowing you're gonna hurt him and not feel bad? Can you ever just look at him and feel nothing for him? Can you ever not love him?
Your head feels buzzed and when he speaks and your anger explodes.
"I deserve it, baby." You scrunch his t-shirt in your hand and pull him towards you, making him almost fall on you but he regains his balance by placing one of his hands on the comforter. With wide eyes, he just stares at you and the way your eyes brim with fresh tears. He tilts his head as if feeling guilty for the tears but you don't let him say anything.
"Why?" At this he looks at you confused.
The other tattooed hand finds its way on top of your wrist holding his t-shirt and you feel your sanity fly away for a second but at his confused expression, you feel your anger come back.
"Y/N what-" he sputters with big eyes
"Why did you reject the job offer?" you finally say.
Pin. Drop. Silence.
"What?" he breathes out.
"You think you can make that big of a decision by yourself? " you say sniffling.
"How did you-"
"How did I know? How about, why didn't I know?" You raise your voice slightly, and he shuts the door so that your parents don't get their sleep interrupted, tilting slightly towards the entrance, your bed not being that far from the door.
"Y/N I am sorr-" you cut him off mid sentence.
"Sorry? How many things are gonna be okay just because you apologize Jungkook?! It was your dream, you worked so hard for it.." you say feeling tears spill out of your eyes and when he just looks down at your lap with his lips twisted in a straight line guiltily, you can't help but yell at him a bit, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
You didn't realize when your hand shifted from the t-shirt's neckline to his neck. You realize that only when his eyes shut for a second at the feeling of your hands on his face, the other hand coming to sit on top of the comforter on the other side of your body. Holding onto his face you asked him the question with big teary eyes, wet cheeks, and a wobbly chin.
"Tell me, kook?"
Sighing he answers, "Baby, they wanted me to go away."
"Don't lie to me, Jungkook, please. Yoongi told me they were ready to fix the schedule according to you -"
"And you think they were gonna do that for me forever?" He asks.
"Why did you say that I agreed then? Why did you lie? Why didn't you come talk to me? Do you think I wouldn't have understood or that you think it's not important for me to know?"
"Would you have let me quit if I wanted to?" He asked instantly.
You pause. Dammit.
"You see? That's why I didn't tell you. You're already handling so many responsibilities, I didn't wanna worry you more." He says, eyes turning soft.
You look at him. Eyes looking at him trying to find dishonesty, the thing was, Jungkook doesn't lie. Even after he did what he did, he came out to you truthfully. It hurt but you're where you are because he was honest. It's the bare minimum, honesty, but its rare. At least in your experience. But not with Jungkook. He can't lie.
"They were willing to change my schedule for me only until she is born.." he says looking at your tummy and then lifting his eyes to look at you.
"..I can't risk being away from you again. It might sound like I am lying but Y/N, baby, I don't wanna be away from you even for a single second. I wanna prove myself to be worthy of a second chance. I wanna be worthy of you and her. I can’t imagine my life even for a second without you or her. You can push me all you want, you can yell at me all you want but don't tell me that I should've chosen a job and not my family. I know I don’t have an answer for why I did what.." he pauses gulps and continues.
"...I did, I myself don't know why I did it, and trust me if I could turn back the time I would. But baby..." he puts his hand on yours that is resting on his cheek waiting for a second, barely visible, but he waits for some kind of negative reaction to him touching you. When he senses none, he continues,
"...I love you, and I will love you for my whole life, I will love you and my family until I breathe. I am so sorry for fucking things up but I want to fix them, I can fix them, we will fix it. Just don't please.." he squeezes his eyes shut slightly squeezing your hand as well.
"... don't ask me to go away from you. I can't live away from you. I would quit my job if that's what it takes to be with my family, to take care of my family, to take care of you, and to take care of us. Please tell me I can be with you, can you please tell me you don’t want me to go away? Pleas- “
You tell him exactly that, but not verbally because wasn’t it ironic how he feels sorry for not knowing why he did what he did when you don't even think of any second thoughts before you do what you do, without knowing why.
Lips crashing on his, you shut him up with an answer you feel him absorbing inside him. He freezes when you kiss him, his breath stuttering when you move your lips against him. You squeeze his t-shirt in desperate need, and you feel him flutter his eyelids against your cheekbones, your tears mixing with his, and he kisses you back.
Does it last? Does your happiness last? No.
As soon as he moves his lips, you hear him sniffle and break the kiss. His eyes are still red, and his cheeks are slightly wet as well. He sniffles again, but the only sound you can hear is your heartbreaking because he moves away.
Away from the bed. Away from the comforter. Away from the kiss. Away from you.
He gets up and takes a step back, shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut. He curses under his breath as if regaining his composure while you just stare at the space where he was sitting earlier.
“I- I am sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't, I can't. I am really sorry, I shouldn't. I just shouldn't. I am sorry.”
And he leaves the room, shutting the door, not completely but leaving it slightly ajar. It's just like he does always. You hear the kitchen tap opening. He probably is doing the dishes. You hear everything from outside the door, but you feel like there's radio silence in your room.
A low beep-like sound ringing in your ears, embarrassment? Hurt? Love? Anger? Betrayal? Pain? Need? Desire? You feel so much at once, and you don't know what to do with it. This is getting so much more fucked and somehow you both find new ways to make this way tougher than anyone can imagine.
After some time, you hear the lights outside click off, and you can't help but wish he came to you. He does, but only to keep a fresh glass of water on the nightstand. He wishes you good night in a whisper, glancing once at your face and then,
...leaves.
Well, shit.
___________________________________________
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kisses4lao · 7 months
Text
Pov local Lin Kuei ninja gets FUCKED!!!! REAL NOT CLICK BAIT!!!!!
Bi Han x fem!reader LMAO (ARRANGED MARRIAGE TROPE!!!! PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT AND IF YOU CONTINUE AND YOU GET UPSET THATS A YOU PROBLEM)
Tw/cw: arranged marriage!trope, fem!reader, praise, possibly ooc bi han, bi hans raging daddy issues, breeding kink, SLOW BURN!!!!!, mentions of blood and injuries, soft sex, piv, pwp, probably like really fucking long, bi han is really soft, simp bi han but not at first, unprotected sex, creampie, he eats pussy like his life depends on it, oh yeah cunnilingus, missionary, cursing
Not proofread eat my ass
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Growing up as Madam Bo's granddaughter had its perks, but it most definitely had strings attached.
You had practically gotten everything you wanted growing up, but at the expense that you had to marry the head ninja of the Lin Kuei, Bi Han. His father, the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei had made a deal with Madam Bo; if she gave you to him, she'd have the best of protection and his oath for the rest of her life. It was something she couldn't pass up on.
After she had practically sold you to the man she made sure you knew how to be a good wife. Knowing how to cook and clean being one of the main things she taught you. She knew you didn't want this, so she tried her hardest to make life for you better. She would buy you anything you wanted but nothing helped.
Once you and Bi Han were officially 18, you had gotten legally married. Luckily Madam Bo let you have some liberty in the ceremony to try and alleviate some stress. However, once the knowledge that you had just been legally bound with a man you had just met set in, absolutely nothing could make you feel better.
You had no idea what kind of man he was. Was he a rude man? Would he make you do things you weren't ready for? Walking down the aisle suddenly became a lot harder as you started to feel lightheaded. Finally getting to stand in front of him for the first time made you feel disgusting. How could your own grandmother do this to you? You practically have nothing ahead of you as far as life goes except for this.
You felt so betrayed you couldn't even look him in the eyes. Every time he tried to touch you you'd shutter and pull away. The party afterwards was a mess, too. You were sitting next to him as you'd poke at your food, not having enough energy to eat. Bi Han wouldn't eat either, he would just observe the room and make occasional glances at you.
His father was next to him, feeding him information about how to treat you, making sure to be loud enough that you would hear. "She's your wife now, she's expected to do everything you say. You don't have to treat her with respect, she's here to serve you." Bi Han let out an angry sigh every time he said something and wouldn't say a word.
"Look at her. She isn't even eating her food. She's ungrateful, you're just going to let her treat others like this? She should be taught a lesson." You could see Bi Han tense up at this, he had clenched has jaw and fists out of frustration from his father. "Maybe she's just not hungry. That isn't her fault, father. Leave her alone."
His father let out an angry scoff at Bi Hans response. "I give you a woman that other men would kill for and you just don't care? You're both ungrateful swines. Don't expect me to give you anything anymore." This statement didn't affect Bi Han, he just continued to sit with his arms crossed and eyes closed, waiting for this to end.
The party was finally over and Bi Han led you back to the house you two would be sharing from now on. The walk over was quiet with the only sound being the soft crunches of feet hitting the dirt and the sounds of the woods surrounding the two of you. As you arrived at a cottage just outside of the Lin Kuei temple, Bi Han would unlock the door and hold it open for you.
As you stepped in, everything had suddenly changed. It was such a beautiful cottage, it was made of stone and cherry blossom wood, it was decorated with crystals and cultural items that meant a lot to the Lin Kuei. "Father had gotten this custom made for you and me. Do you like it?" He suddenly turns to and looks at you with an expression unreadable. Eyes wide and seeking an answer you'd hopefully give him.
"It's amazing, not at all what I had expected from your father." You said with a chuckle. Bi han gives you a soft smile, "You haven't spoken at all today, I was getting worried. Hearing your voice for the first time really changed my perspective on our current situation. Although we have just met, we really should take things slow." He holds out his hand for you to take, leading you around the house so you'd know where everything is.
"Kuai Liang and I went shopping for clothing for you. It isn't much, but tomorrow I will make sure he takes you out so you can get more." He leads you into your shared bedroom, taking in how huge it was. He lets go of you so you can look around as he watches your every move, taking in that he was now married to you. His father really wasn't joking when he said other men would kill for you.
"I appreciate the thought a lot, Bi Han. You don't have to spend money on me anyway, I'll be fine with everything here." You say as you look through the wardrobe he selected for you. Not much? There's thousands of dollars worth of clothing in here! Is he insane?
"Father insists. He says that you should get more modest and feminine clothing, that you should be covered so other men don't think of you in perverted ways. Me, personally, I think he should shut the fuck up. He clearly doesn't know how to treat a woman." The last few sentences made your head snap you look at him, shock written all over your face.
He stood in the doorway as he let you take everything in, he was calm, a lot calmer than he was at the ceremony. "He isn't a good person, y/n. I seriously hope he stays away from us, everything he was saying earlier made me pissed beyond belief. No wonder he can't keep a woman, he treats them like objects. I won't let him treat you like that either."
As he stood waiting for your response, all you could do was just stare. He looked to the floor as he could sense your shock. Did he really just say all that?
"I think it's best we sleep in separate beds for a while. You can sleep in here, I'll take the couch." Before you could offer an actual bed to him, he had already left.
Months have passed in your marriage and yet he was still distant. He'd come home late and barely say a word to you, simply just humming in response to anything you say. He wouldn't sleep in the same bed as you either. He'd insist you weren't close enough yet.
You could tell he wasn't getting enough sleep on the couch, so you insisted, practically begged him to sleep in your room. Even after offering to sleep on the couch, he still wouldn't budge.
Bi han had told you he was going to be out for longer one night, he told you not to wait for him, that he'd make his own food. Something about a huge mission that was dangerous, it was what he was training for for the past few weeks.
Because of this, you couldn't sleep. Something told you to stay awake and wait for him. Would a good wife really just sleep in a time like this? With her husbands life in such risk? The thought of it kept you up as you paced back and forth for hours, just waiting for him to come through the door.
The clock had hit 3 AM by the time you heard the soft sound of the front door unlock. Snapping your head in the direction of the noise, you saw your husband walk through the door. Your tired, extremely disheveled haired, blood drenched uniformed husband.
"Bi Han! What happened? Are you hurt?" You ran to him, quickly looking over his unmasked face and his arms, examining the multiple bloody cuts that were exposed. He let out a sigh as he began to take his uniform off.
"Cmon, we're going to the bathroom, I have to bandage you up." You took his hand and led him to the bathroom in your shared room, closing the door behind you and guiding him to sit on the countertop.
You pulled out the first aid box and grabbed everything you needed: bandages, hydrogen peroxide, gauze, and sterile pads. Grabbing two towels, you dampened one with warm water and started cleaning the dried blood. "I really wish you were more careful. I don't like seeing you get this hurt." You say as you dampen the second cloth, putting peroxide on it.
You dab the open wounds on his face first, being careful not to hurt him too much. You then take his right arm, it had a huge slash on it, luckily not deep enough to need stitches but deep enough to cause issues if not cleaned. You held his arm over the sink and slowly started to pour the peroxide on it.
Bi Han would make soft grunts in pain as you would do this, having you lead up with "sorry," and "I know, I know," over and over. When you were finally done with the cleaning, you took a large sterile pad and draped it over his arm wound. Wrapping the gauze around it and tapping it, you put a small bandage around his nose and you were done.
You hopped off the counter and ran a warm bath for him, leading him to stand up so you could undress him. As you started to undress him, however, he lightly grabbed your wrist. "I can do this myself. Join me, would you?" He says that with a soft smile. You nodded and you began to strip your clothing as well. Once the water was done running, you added some nice cleansing soap so you'd be able to clean him better.
As you were crouched down and mixing the water till bubbly, Bi Han picked you up by the waist and plopped you in the bath tub. He followed in after you, and you started to clean his bloody arms with the soapy bubbles. He watched you do this and was seemingly pleased, as he didn't interrupt you at all. As you started to clean his neck and face, you moved into him more, but still couldn't reach him from your position.
Bi Han picked up on this, he grabbed you again and placed you on his lap, resting his hands on your waist. You and him have never been this close, you two havent even touched each other and here he is willingly putting you on waist as you were both in the bath tub.
You didn't mind it however, you just continued cleaning him. After a few minutes of gentle scrubbing, he was clean. You place both hands on his cheeks and rub small circles with your thumbs. He began to relax and you gave him a small smile. "I missed you. I'm glad you're okay."
Bi Han was a bit surprised at that and he returned the smile. He slowly leaned in and gave you a small kiss on the lips. This was the first time you've ever kissed, not even on your wedding day. But something about it felt so right. He departed from your lips but you stayed close to him. You decided to go back in for another one, this time he leaned into it.
It was a lot more passionate than you thought it would be, almost as if he was waiting to be able to do this. He moved one of his hands from your waist to the small of your back, pressing down slightly and making you lean in more. He slowly pulled away and leaned on the back of the tub, sliding his other hand up your back and resting just below your shoulder blades.
You rested your head in his chest and wrapped your arms around his torso, slowly drifting off to sleep. He watched you do so, mesmerized by how at peace you looked. He waited until you were fully asleep to take you out of the bath tub, he dressed you and tucked you into bed.
When you woke up in the morning, you felt something around your waist, something unfamiliar. You slowly turned around to see Bi Han, sleeping peacefully with his arms around you.
Ever since that day, Bi Han had grown a liking to you. Whenever he would be on missions he would bring back small trinkets for you, usually luxury jewelry of sorts. He would also open up to you more and insisted on sleeping in the same bed as you. You were more than happy to oblige and your days usually ended in your husband cuddling you to sleep.
With him changing as a man for you, you'd often get letters from Kuai and Tomas, thanking you for whatever you did to Bi Han. According to them, he was being a lot less strict and more understanding, and they couldn't be more grateful for you helping him.
One day, you had decided to make Bi Han a luxurious dinner. Filled with protein and a shit ton of carbs, everything a big boy needs. You had Tomas accompany you to town, so he could hold everything and for protection. He didn't mind, he liked you a lot and thought you were perfect for Bi Han. Tomas told you a lot about the food that's required to keep a healthy stature. With this information, you decided to make a seafood dinner. Lobster tail and scallops for the main course, mashed potatoes for a side, and I nice angel cake for a dessert.
If Tomas was being completely honest, he was even getting hungry as you picked out everything you needed. You decided to employ him for a bit of help in the kitchen, and as a reward you promised to save him some cake. With the addition of the last part, he was more than happy to help, cutting up the lobsters and peeling the potatoes for you. After a while though, he had to get back to work, bidding you a nice farewell before leaving.
When dinner was finally ready, you placed all the dishes on the table and plated him a bit of everything. You dimmed the lights and lit up some nice smelling candles and waited for Bi Han to walk through to door. A few minutes after you you got everything ready, you heard the familiar sound of the door unlocking and seeing your husband walk through.
His eyes widened at the surprise seeing you at the table that was lit with candles and had a fragrant dinner sitting on it. "Welcome home! You've been working so hard recently, I thought it would be nice for you to have a good dinner!" You pulled out his chair and watched him sit down. Taking his mask off, he picked up his chopsticks and ate some scallops, then some lobster, then some potatoes. You watched in anticipation for his reaction, wondering if he liked it or not.
He turned to you, a big smile forming on his face. "It's delicious, thank you so much." He stood up from his chair and wrapped you in a tight hug, kissing your crown. You looked up at him, hugging him back and giving him a smile. He leans down, giving you a kiss on the lips, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in closer.
You moved your hands up to cup his face, deepening the kiss as he tightens his grip on you. He licks your bottom lip, asking for permission. You open your mouth and he starts to explore, to taste you. You had never kissed him like this, but he seemed so eager to know everything about you in this moment. He seemed to to need you in a way, and his grip tightened even more. He started to pull slightly on your clothing, as he began to breath heavily and groan into the kiss.
He pulls back, resting his forehead on yours. "Y/n... I need to tell you.." he was panting at this point, clawing at your clothing as his knees began to tremble. "I need you... Need you so bad... I've been in love with you ever since the first night you helped me.. I wanted to touch you so bad but, I was so scared.. scared you didn't like me like that.. let me treat you the way you deserve.. please you the way a husband should.. please, let me make love to you."
Bi Han was out of breath, clinging to you like you were the only thing keeping him alive, and to a degree, you were. He had become so obsessed with you and he was finally admitting his feelings for you, who were you to deny him? You chuckle lightly as you kiss him back, a soft moan came from Bi Han as you started tracing your hands up and down his chest.
You decided you couldn't wait any longer, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his waist. Bi Han took this as a yes and carried you to your shared room, placing you on the new silk sheets he had just bought for you. Small giggles escape your breath as Bi Han began to trail kisses down your body. His hands traced up your thighs and clung to your night gown, slowly taking it off and leaving you in just a bra and panties.
He hooked your legs over his shoulders, pulling down your panties as he placed small kisses on your inner thighs. Once your panties were fully off, he dipped his middle and ring finger into your slit, gathering your juices. "So wet for me already. So beautiful, is this what I've been missing out on? I'll have to make up for lost time." He licked his fingers, a groan leaving his mouth from the taste.
He ran his tongue up your folds, sucking on your clit as he gripped your thighs so you'd stay in place. You began to moan loudly at his actions and started to grind yourself on his face, this made Bi Hans grip on you tighten. You could hear a muffled 'patience' as he continued what he was doing. He moved his mouth down more, prodding at your hole with his tongue. He slowly slipped his tongue in and brought his free hand to play with your clit.
You moaned loudly as his index finger and thumb began to lightly pinch and apply pressure to your clit. Bi Hans tongue continued to plunge itself deeper and deeper into you and he could feel you getting close.
With how you were whimpering and clenching around his tongue, it didn't surprise him when you harshly came without warning. A loud moan coming from you as your back arched and your head fell back. Bi Han licked up everything, not wasting a single drop of what you gave him. You had completely drenched his chin, fingers, and even parts of his neck, and he couldn't get enough of it.
After cleaning his face and fingers, he pulled away and started to undress himself. "As much as I'd love to continue doing that for the rest of the night, I think you deserve much more." He climbed onto the bed with just his boxers on, taking them off to show his hard, leaking cock.
He gripped your waist again, pulling you in and kissing you to try and soothe your anxieties. "I know you must be scared, I'll take it slow and easy." You could feel his cock prodding at your hole again, whining at the feeling. He slowly slips in and you both let out moans at the feeling. After a few minutes of moving slowly, he was finally in. After a few more minutes of waiting for you to adjust, you gave him the okay to move.
He began to rock in and out of you at a slow pace, kissing you while doing so. You began to soak up each others moans as he started to move faster. Bi Han moved to place kisses on you neck as he gripped you tighter. "You're doing amazing, taking me so well, I can't wait to do this every night when I come home." A promise he was going to most definitely keep.
You began to grip at his back, racking at it and making beads of blood appear under your fingers. He moaned at the feeling, increasing his pace because of it. "Bi han- too much, it's too much-" you moaned out, Bi Han kissed you lightly and placed his forehead to yours.
"You can take me, baby. I know you can, you're doing so well." You began to feel close again, digging your nails deeper into him because of it. His grip tightened even more on your waist, signaling he was getting close, too. "Shit- where do you want it?" He asked as he looked at you, breathing heavily.
"Inside-" you couldn't even finish your sentence before you came for a second time, letting out another loud moan as Bi Han began to ride out his orgasm. You could hear him curse under his breath and a few moments after he came inside you, letting out a groan while doing so.
He collapsed on top of you and you both tried to catch your breath. He slowly got up and got a clean wash cloth, wiping down the both of you. "You did amazing, love. You were so good for me." He smiles as he discards the cloth somewhere in the room, climbing into bed with you.
You both exchanged a few light kisses before you drifted off to sleep. Bi Han had stayed up a bit though, cuddling closer into you as he watched you float off into a state of peace. He truly was besotted by you.
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A/N: I have to update my request guidelines ugh
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