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"I can't pretend you are a bunny, bunnies are a real thing"
... unlike women?
#radblr#radical feminism#terfblr#feminism#sexism#gender critical#It's funny where tras draw the line on things#You can't identify as being a POC#You can't identify as being a bunny#You can't identify as being wealthy#But being a woman? Eh fine whatever makes you happy#It's not like women exist after all
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I was hesitant to write this post, but I want to talk about why so many women and teenage girls are getting double mastectomies.
The justification a lot of trans people use for elective double mastectomies is that "top surgery" helps people feel comfortable in their bodies. Traditionally, this surgery was restricted to transmen. In the recent decade, however, nonbinary identified and even non-trans identified women have been getting mastectomies. I remember clear as day when my coworker (who identified as a "cis" woman) told me that at 18 she was planning on saving for top surgery. I myself got my breasts removed when I identified as nonbinary, having been on testosterone for 2 years.
It's important to remember that no person is born wanting surgery. Society creates conditions that are hostile to women, GNC, and gay people, and this hostility encourages a dissociated state. The body is removed from the mind - instead of the body being an intrinsic part of your personhood, a mechanism through which we experience the world, it instead becomes ornamental. This is perfectly represented by all forms of non-reconstructive cosmetic surgery, which risk people's health for entirely aesthetic reasons.
So, why do teen girls want to remove their breasts? For those of who experienced unwanted sexual advances from a young age, the answer is intuitive. Breasts are inherently sexualized. They are not seen as a vital organ that contributes to bodily function and health, but as a decoration, the only purpose of which is to attract men and feed babies. In this way, a woman's breasts do not even belong to her. When men openly gawk at a woman without a bra, when relatives grope at her as a pubescent girl, when we are exposed to an endless stream of hyper-sexualized images of women with their cleavage out, a message is sent loud and clear: existing in a female body is unsafe.
I want to make it very clear that an elective mastectomy and the practices of breast ironing are very different, but there are commonalities in the attitudes behind both. Breast ironing is done to pubescent girls in order to "prevent" her being sexually assaulted or harassed by men, sometimes including male relatives. When I hear stories of girls in the West starving themselves and binding to hide their chests, I can't help but see similarities. When I was binding and restricting calories as a 15 year old, I would have said I was doing it so that I could pass as a man. But I would have been lying to you. I was lying to myself. I didn't hate my breasts because I was "born in the wrong body." I hated my breasts because they were used to justify my sexualization. From my perspective they put me in danger.
We often hear that women's rights in the West have been secured, but you need only look at the war on women's bodies to see that that is a fantasy. When young girls constantly receive the messaging that your curves and boobs WILL attract men and that you will be objectified for it, many will try to opt out.
Take Liv Hewson, for example.
She says herself that her anorexia was a manifestation of "gender dysphoria," but the question remains - where did this dysphoria come from? Why would anorexia develop as an outlet for it? What makes more sense: a young woman was born hating her body and her breasts because she has a gendered, non-female soul, or that same woman hates her body because she has been conditioned as such by a patriarchal society, the same society that encourages extreme self harm and body modification through a multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry?
Gender dysphoria in young women needs to be demystified. It's not special, it's not unique. It is NOT evidence that she needs invasive surgery or steroids to feel comfortable in her body. It is evidence that she is in pain. In order to address the rising rate of transition in young women, we must first acknowledge the conditions that nurture this form of self-hatred.
Transition IS a feminist issue. It is just as relevant in Western feminism as tackling the beauty industry, female sexualization, and violence perpetrated against women through porn. All of these issues are deeply interconnected. When we approach dysphoric women with compassion and encourage them to perceive their bodies as a part of themselves that deserves to remain intact and whole, rather than as their enemy, we take a necessary step towards female liberation.
#detrans#detransition#gender critical#radical feminists do touch#radical feminist safe#radical feminists do interact#radical feminism#misogny#anorexia#sexism#transition#trans issues
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Be apart of the generation of women that makes big round bellies the norm. Support misogyny and patriarchal Men, traditional gender roles, and above all the unrestricted breeding of women.
Your belly is meant to grow and swell every year, popping out babies for your Husband back to back, your body is built for that very purpose.
Don't fight it, let that flat stomach swell into what it's meant to be.
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#abortion#female reproductive health#radical feminism#radical feminists please touch#radblr#radical feminists do interact#gender critical#feminism#terfblr#radfem safe#gc feminism#reproductive rights#reproductive health#reproductive justice#reproductive freedom#gc feminist#fuck the patriarchy#smash the patriarchy#sexism
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I really like the nuanced take about Zutara and why it makes some people uncomfortable and I can see both sides of it. I ship Zutara now but at first I didn’t and it made me really uncomfortable but I think it was just because of certain fan content I was coming across. Some people do portray Zutara in an extremely fetishized & creepy Stockholm syndrome way that makes Katara come off like some helpless damsel stereotype. It made me feel really gross thinking about as a young WOC but rewatching the show and seeing the true dynamic of these characters made me fall in love with them again. So I guess my feeling is that in canon i really love the dynamic but I hate the way *certain fans* twist it and refuse to acknowledge the racism & misogyny in what they’re doing
this is a complicated topic with many layers to it but first - i am sorry if you have ever felt unwelcome in the zutara fandom due to experiences with racism/misogyny.
it would be ignorant to claim that the zutara fandom is somehow uniquely unaffected by systemic racism or sexism, but it would also be disingenuous to claim that these issues only exist in certain parts of the atla fandom. racism, sexism, and general bigotry exist in every fandom due to institutionalized inequality in social structures. and to make it clear, i'm not directing this criticism towards you, anon, you are entitled to your own personal experiences, but i have seen a broader trend of people attempting to use fandom racism to moralize their position in ship wars, which is diminishing from the actual problem - the focus should be on acknowledging the existence of fandom racism/sexism, combatting implicit biases, and creating spaces that can uplift marginalized voices, rather than focusing only on optics in an attempt to gain moral high ground in a silly *fictional* ship war.
however, given all this, the reason that i am still in the zutara fandom is because i appreciate how many people in the fandom are dedicated to unpacking issues of racism and sexism and cultural insensitivity in atla's source material, which i personally haven't seen in many other sides of the fandom (that often sanitize what actually happened in the text to avoid acknowledging these issues in their favorite show). of course this is a broad generalization, but that's generally why i stick with the non-canon shipping side of the fandom because fans that are willing to stray away from canon are often less afraid to engage in critical analysis.
i also do think the zutara fandom has come a long way from the early 2000s when the show first aired. for example, when i first joined the fandom i had mixed feelings on fire lady katara, but i have since read some fanfics that have done an excellent job deconstructing some of the problematic ways that this trope could be interpreted and balancing respect for katara's cultural heritage and autonomy with the political and personal difficulties of being involved with an imperialist/colonialist nation. the fire lady katara trope, capture!fic, and other complicated topics/tropes are almost never inherently racist/sexist, but rather, their execution is what matters. and all this is not to say that issues of systemic racism/sexism do not still exist in this fandom, but it personally has not significantly negatively impacted my experience in the zutara fandom due to the wonderful content that so many other fantastic people produce, though everyone's mileage may differ with what they are comfortable with. anon, i hope that you are able to find a place in the zutara fandom for you! but i also know many people that have stepped back from other fandoms due to experiences with racism/misogyny, so i understand that decision as well.
on a final note, i think it's important to acknowledge that fandom doesn't exist in a vacuum and broader issues of racism and sexism are rooted in the media, the entertainment industry, and mainstream societal norms. while i do sometimes focus on fandom dynamics/discourse in my criticisms, i think it is equally as important to acknowledge how issues of prejudice and inequality are perpetuated through larger social structures, which is why it frustrates me when the atla fandom refuses to acknowledge the flaws of the original show, which has far more influence and social power over the general public than discourse over fandom tropes ever will. personally, i don't understand the phenomenon of holding fan-made material to a higher standard than mainstream media.
#zutara#atla#atla fandom critical#atla critical#zuko#katara#racism#sexism#and i hope it's clear that i am not condoning racism/sexism in fan material - but i do think it's hypocritical to ignore the foundations#of this that is built into the source material#anon ask#my asks#my post
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Warnings: Transphobia, sexism, misandry, bad therapist and Bear dudes ( jokingly)
In my country, there are no gender therapists, and the psychologists not only refuse to help with transitioning, but also, due to the laws and other issues, often persuade individuals against transitioning.
It was two years ago, and my mother was worried about me. She thought I was mentally ill because I wanted to be a boy. So, she decided to take me to a therapist/psychologist. I’m not sure which one that person was. Anyway.
It was my first time visiting any kind of therapist. I was very nervous. However, because my mom had told me that the therapist, an old cis woman, had experience working with transgender individuals, I wasn’t worried about it. I was mistaken.
So we went to her office and sat down. She asked my mother to leave, and then we were alone.
She was trying to be kind at first. This is a little bit of our conversation:
- Hi, what should I call you? What gender are you?
Me, living in a binary society, dressing as a boy, acting like a boy, and my mother just told her that I want to be a boy : Just call me Dayan, and I am a boy.
Then she asked questions because she was not sure what that meant.
I told her: But they said you have worked with trans people before
She said: No, not really. It was just one person and not even like you. (That was a trans woman.)
Yeah, she told people she is trans-friendly to make money. Anyway, we talked more, and then, suddenly, she got angry.
She said: Why do you want to be a man?! Men are ugly! They are as hairy as gorillas! They smell bad! They are always horny! They are rapists! They are garbage!
I was in shock. I had never heard that shit before, and she was a fucking therapist! I thought therapists were smart! What the hell was that?! She hates all men?!
I am gay, and at the time, I had a crush on a bear dude (he is my BF now), and the things she said made me so angry and upset.
Also, don’t worry, ma’am, I am not going to transition into your husband!
Do you think she was a queen herself? No! She was an ugly old lady who doesn’t know how to dress!
After she said that, I became the therapist! That woman certainly needs one. I told her not to hate all men and that hairy, horny dudes are okay. But if they smell bad and rape people, that’s not okay. I taught her to be respectful and also educated her about trans and non-binary individuals. I was talking for about 3 hours!
Seriously, I was the therapist. Then the lady told my mother that I am okay and not mentally ill. Yes, that’s obvious, bitch. And she took an amount of money equivalent to three days of my mother’s work from us for just three hours. Sure, she did help a little, but it was me acting as a therapist for her the entire time!
I am worried about her male clients and the men in her life. Also, what are you going to tell your transfeminine clients? To not be like you,bitch?
#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#transgender#transmasc#trans man#trans#transguy#therapist#bad therapy#misandry#sexism#gay bear#this is my real life#she was a bitch
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SJM shaming modest women, apart from being sexist, is also quite telling of her racism and religious intolerance.
She acts like people who dress modestly are oppressed, and this reflects her beliefs on many Eastern cultures, whose women tend to dress more modestly than Western ones. By extension, it’s also a reflection of her Islamophobia, and considering she’s a Zionist, are we really surprised?
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"I felt unfulfilled working the corporate rat race and spending my entire life trying to climb some company ladder for more money and status" Yes! Go! Good! Being a cog in the corporate machine sucks!
"...So I realized that a woman's true calling is to submit entirely to her husband so he can run the corporate rat race while she lives in the home and gives away her independence so she can raise his children and do his housework and submit to his decisions even if they're flawed (or worse, abusive)!" No stop what is wrong with you why would you think that is the solution to this
#sexism#the corporate rat race fucking sucks for everyone involved but the solution is not to resign yourself to servitude to a domineering man!!!!#you can bake bread and have hobbies and also have a bank account and employment history!!!!!!#in an ideal world if you *wanted* to have kids you should be able to take time off work to be able to spend time with your babies#but that is NOWHERE NEAR the same thing as being barefoot and pregnant
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Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."
Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.
These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!
Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!
Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.
So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.
#obligatory disclaimer that this really really obviously is not universal#I do live in a major progressive city#there's definitely a level of a liberal bubble effect here#but it's still really powerful to see it#because even in a major liberal enclave there were so many limits on the gender roles and homophobia etc. etc. fronts#and also the limits of the oppressive weight of obligatory teen apathy lol#seriously go gen z. so glad you guys decided cringe is dead. I love you for that so much#and I love it for you#not news#life#hope#homophobia#sexism#teens#teenagers#progress#gen z#btw if it wasn't clear I'm a#millennial#plush toy#plushie#squishmallows#build a bear#stuffed animal#like the idea of almost any teenager much less teenage boys#saying IN FRONT OF THEIR PEERS#that they are excited about their STUFFED ANIMALS#when I was a teenager#?????#cannot imagine that ever happening.
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OH AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THE ATLA REBOOT
the sexism thing??? we all know it's fucking stupid and purely performative to take out sokka's feminism arc, but can we talk about the fact that He Is Still Sexist????? he still thinks that what he does (running the village's defenses, which they've never needed) is vastly more important than what she does (wash the clothes, cook, etc). and yk what?? the live action reboot AGREES with him. it doesn't show or even mention katara doing any work around the village. all we see katara doing is practice waterbending - the only interesting thing that original episode 1 sokka seems to think katara ever does.
the live action show depicts sokka "doing all the work", fulfilling his traditionally masculine role of warrior/protector, and COMPLETELY DISMISSES whatever "women's work" katara does, as if she does nothing. seems pretty clear to me that the showrunners would love to absolve themselves of sexism by not talking about sexism, while in actuality being pretty sexist themselves
and don't even get me started on sokka not wearing the dress/makeup of the kyoshi warriors' uniform
#fucked up#hate it#sexism#patriarchy#atla#atla netflix#atla live action#atla sokka#avatar the last airbender
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I saw a post saying "If porn and prostitution were empowering men would be doing it" and while I absolutely agree I would add:
"If porn and prostitution were empowering men would be fighting to prevent women from doing it at all"
#radblr#radical feminism#feminism#sexism#seriously#They'd talk about how women can't do it right and how only a man is skilled enough for this work#They things that DO empower women - reproductive rights and no-fault divorce laws etc - look how fast they dismantle them#They only allow us fake empowerment that serves them and their needs
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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A good girl wants for nothing but to grow a bigger and bigger belly with each consecutive pregnancy. Twins, triplets, or even quintuplets should be your goal as a good breeding wife.
Then, when you are big and bred, there's no hiding what you are, your enormous bulging womb showing to the world that you really are just your Man's baby factory.
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the way that "Karen" originally meant primarily white women using ther privilege to abuse people of color and service workers and the internet turned it into a stand-in for "bitch"...... the way that "NLOG" originally meant girls and women who performatively separate themselves from femininity and put down other women out of internalized misogyny but the internet turned it into a stand-in for their lesbophobic or transphobic slur of choice for masculine women.....the way "manic pixie dream girl" was originally a critique of a sexist trope in fiction and the internet turned it into a way to insult real life girls and women for being weird or quirky....never fucking ending
#sexism#misogyny#theres a version of this with white ppl appropriating aave but im not the guy to write that one#feminism#genderfluid
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One of my favorite genres of post is one man being like "the female orgasm doesn't exist. I would know, I've had sex with a number of women and they are BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE of achieving orgasm" and then a bunch of other guys show up to roast him
#'water boarding couldn't have gotten this outta me' is one of my all-time favorite lines btw#sexism#misogyny#feminism#guys being dudes#funny#1k#5k
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