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byoldervine · 10 days

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Why You Should ‘Make Yourself’ Write (And How To Do It)

Most people who write for a hobby - especially the neurodivergent crowd - will write whenever they’re inspired, and many will be able to get an insane amount of writing done in one go, but then there’s a good while of writer’s block and low motivation/inspiration in between those bursts of creativity. You can see forcing yourself to write as something irrelevant to you; it’s just a hobby, so why burn yourself out forcing yourself to do it until it’s no longer fun?

The reason people say this, even for hobbyists, is so that you have some level of consistent progress; relying on random spikes in creativity or convenient hyperfocus isn’t a sustainable plan when it can either leave you burnt out after or leave you at a creative dead end for weeks or months between actual writing sessions

If you write consistently, you make progress consistently, so it’s good practice to make a habit out of using writing goals to keep you on track. Maybe you work best writing X amount of words, or maybe you prefer to write for X amount of time. Maybe you want to meet this goal every day, or maybe every few days, or maybe every week, or so on. I’m personally on 1000 words per week, and despite my autistic brain that thought I’d never be able to set and keep a consistent goal, I’ve been able to stick to it for nearly six months now. I also know people who are on 10 minutes per day, 100 words per week, 500 words every three days, 5000 words per month, etc

For me, being able to keep track of this not only means I get to see consistent progress being made, but it’s actually been really encouraging to see that word count go up so often and I’ve found that it motivates me to keep up with it. I’ve really enjoyed getting to work on this and having a minimum amount of progress per week really helps me feel like this is something real and something that’s slowly but surely going to be complete soon enough

Give it a try; say to yourself “if I want to achieve this goal, how long do I reasonably need to give myself to do it?” and have a go. After a few cycles it starts to register in your brain that, hey, you’re actually getting something done and being productive and watching that word count going up every day/week/etc! And don’t be afraid to change up your goal and your deadline if you think you’re not being challenged enough or if you’re starting to get burnt out on it - I’d consider it burning out when it’s consistently feeling less like a fun activity and more like a chore you have to do. It should still be fun!

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sunnys-out · 8 months

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I've loved you for so long (1) | Lucy Bronze

A/N: Hello! I haven't written in so long but here is something that I have been working on since the WC (she's a short one I know). I didn't post it earlier because I was moving and starting a new job but everything has calmed down and I had time to edit it. Please let me know what y'all think and hopefully, I can post the 2nd part soon! If you like my writing maybe through in a suggestion and I'll try my best! :D

Content: Angst, Fluff if you squint

{Word Count: 2004}

______________________________________________________________

I've loved you for so long

Oh, I'd forgotten how it feels

Feelings come back strong

'I've Loved You For So Long - The Aces'

Lucy and I had met, informally, in 2015 in Canada, we never played against each other in that World Cup but that didn’t stop us from bumping into each other at Tim Hortons. The couple of times that we ran into each other at the World Cup caused small conversations and laughs that left me wanting more. God, even just her smile left me wanting.

I didn’t message her throughout our respective seasons right after the World Cup but sometimes I’d click on her Instagram profile and just scroll and see her thrive in Manchester City. Well I did drum up the courage to message once.

‘It’d probably be weird if I messaged her out of the blue right?... I mean it has been weeks since Canada?’ I told myself as I lay on my small apartment couch in Portland.

My thumb hovered over the send button with a slight tremble.

“Fuck it” My thumb harshly hit the screen and the quick ‘Wanted to say that you had an amazing tournament. Shame we never played against each other ♥️That goal against Canada was a banger meant to send that in Canada lol!” message was delivered.

I swear I threw my phone onto the other side of my couch and took a shower not expecting to see two notifications sent five minutes after me.

‘Lucy Bronze liked your message’

‘Lucy Bronze: ‘means a lot. Hope to see you again soon, miss world champion ⭐️⭐️⭐️’

I didn’t notice the smile growing as I looked at the notifications on the screen. I probably read it 20 times, setting the phone down on my coffee table and pacing the room debating whether I should respond or what I even should respond with.

“Lucy is funny, maybe I can joke about how it’s been long or maybe just a ‘feeling is mutual’” I said aloud to myself.

‘Why am I getting worked up about this?” My hair is now messy by how many times I redid my ponytail pacing the room for 13 minutes. I kept procrastinating and just settled with getting ready for bed.

‘I’ll just respond tomorrow,’ I said, confidently, plugging in my phone and placing it on my nightstand. That sentiment lasted about 2 minutes before I walked quickly back into my room picking up my phone, opening the message, and liking Lucy’s before responding.

Y/N: I would love to see you again! I hope it's somewhere other than Tim Hortons even though I loved that place lol 🙂

My phone immediately locked as I got into bed and turned away from my phone. I closed my eyes tightly trying to go to sleep quickly so that in the rare probability that Lucy would continue the conversation, I could deal with it tomorrow morning, maybe ask Klingenburg for advice. Though she might scold me for fraternizing with the enemy, jokingly of course. Defenders knew other defenders right? Kling would find it funny that a right winger is flirting with a right back.

My thoughts were interrupted by one vibration and then two more in succession. My body slowly turned over to see my phone lit up still and then slowly dimming. My hand, subconsciously, went over, picked up my phone, and opened the messages seeing Lucy liking my message.

Lucy: Let me buy you a cup whenever you’re in Manchester; there are some cafes you’d like here.

Lucy: I would love to show you around 🙂

I smiled at the messages and immediately replied without a second thought

Y/N: I will let you know because I do need a vacation 🥲

Y/N: And I would love to give you a tour of Portland, the coffee capital of the world. Worth it.

I stared at the messages until I saw a little heart appear on my last message. The little dots of a message incoming made me nervously tap the side of my phone.

Lucy Bronze: I’ll take that as a promise 😉

Y/N: And I expect that cup of coffee in Manchester is a promise too ☺️

Lucy would only like the message and I would promptly go to sleep after waiting 15 minutes for a message that never came. I tried my best to not think about it but the feeling that came from reading her messages and the smile that would creep onto my face…I wouldn’t forget.

Hayley Raso came into my life slowly after that. Glances turned to long stares. The lingering touches throughout practice became more than a pat on the back for a job well done. The smiles and laughs echoed off the walls of Providence Park as we walked to our cars until it was just to my car.

The weekly movie nights at my place turned into watching a show and cuddling together after practice for days on end. Another toothbrush appeared in the bathroom and suddenly my queen-sized bed wasn’t as empty.

Mornings were met with a quick kiss, a hug from behind, and sweet nothings whispered in each other's ear.

Going to practice wasn’t done alone anymore and it was nice to have someone waiting on you if you had to stay behind to see the physio.

It was easy since we were both playing for Portland at the time and the team weren’t surprised when we told them.

Little by little the Australian would appear in my Instagram photos and I in hers.

The one that “broke the internet” was Hayley’s post of her kissing me on the cheek at the end of a game when the USWNT and Australia had a friendly. The one that sealed the deal for everyone was my Christmas post of photos of the party I had at my apartment. One, a particular one at the end, Hayley was in my lap while I kissed her.

Something, however, nagged at me every time I saw a certain person's name pop up “Lucy Bronze liked your post” but I ignored it. I now know it was the feeling of the “what if” and “what could have been”.

‘Did Lucy not want this with me? Maybe that’s why she never followed up. I probably said something to scare her away. Hayley didn’t run away’ I remember thinking to myself and as if on cue two arms snake their way around my waist.

“Everything alright babe?” Hayley said into my back, I, immediately, felt my shoulders relax at the sound of Hayley’s voice.

I whispered, “I'm alright, just read some rude comments. You know how some people get”. I lied to Hayley; I was happy in our relationship and shouldn’t be wondering about the “what could have been” with someone that wasn’t her.

Hayley would then go on to say that she’s told me to never look at the comments because when have the mean ones ever done something for us? She’d led me back to the bedroom to get ready for bed as we had an early practice but not after she promised to take my mind off the “negative comments”...it worked.

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She Believes Cup March 6th, 2016,

Lucy Bronze’s POV

We hadn’t played the United States in Canada which is a shame to not be able to play the future World Champions. Once, we had heard that we would be playing them in the She Believes Cup. I was excited for multiple reasons.

The US call up was released and I would be playing against (y/n). Since the World Cup, (Y/N) was making a name for herself as a strong right winger and playmaker for Portland and the National team.

On the pitch, she seemed cold and intimidating, but I met her as the complete opposite.

I was able to just watch her tap her lip with her finger with her US cap on backward as she decided which pastry she wanted with her coffee at that Tim Hortons. She whistled quietly as she waited her turn and then adorably, fumbled through her order. Then humming to herself happily as she waited on the side with her warm croissant covered by a napkin.

I was in awe of her. I had seen her play before and was always impressed by what I’d seen but never played against her.

As I went up to order my own coffee and pastry I noticed her scrolling through her phone, laughing to herself. (y/n’s) eyes crinkle when she laughs or smiles really big. She hadn’t noticed me when I stood next to her, also waiting for my drink, there I took notice that she was at least three inches above me and that she sticks out her tongue when she is reading something.

I breathed in and said loud enough for her to hear as she read, “I won’t tell your trainer if you don’t tell mine” I shook my little bag containing the coffee cake I had just ordered. I chuckled at the little jump she gave when she noticed me.

“Shit, sorry you scared me” a nervous laugh leaving her mouth

I extended my hand, “Sorry bout that. I’m Lucy, Lucy Bronze with England”

She completed the handshake, “(y/n) (l/n) with the US…obviously” She pointed to her hat that had USA stitched on the back.

The conversation had good enough banter that we both remained at a table for about 2 hours talking about life and football. I could tell you that I fell for the way she looked at me with her gentle (y/e/c) eyes as she described the antics of her new golden retriever puppy named Chili she had adopted when she went to Portland.

I never really was intimidated or made nervous by any American player, especially on the pitch but watching her warm up with an icy cold expression during the She Believes Cup match made me question if the person I met at Tim Horton’s was the same person.

I don’t think I was nervous but I lost count of how many times I would try to get a glimpse of her as she warmed up. Every time I did I’d feel the blush on my cheeks as I remembered the short text conversation that we had shortly after the World Cup.

I regretted so much for not following up immediately; I got scared. If (y/n) asked me today why I didn’t respond, I wouldn’t have known what to say to be honest. Lack of courage was what Jill had told me as Jordan patted my back while reading the messages.

The moment that I finally gained the courage to message (y/n) on Instagram to invite her to Manchester for a visit, was the day when I saw the picture of Hayley Raso kissing her cheek at a friendly. It was the first thing I saw when I opened the app to message her.

I remember my stomach dropping like the feeling when you don’t feel the bottom of a pool.

I had it all planned in my head that she’d accept and I had a mini itinerary in my head of things she would’ve enjoyed and sightseeing spots. But the photo of her with her face buried in Hayley’s neck as she hugged her made the feeling worse.

Raso had beat me to (y/n) and she didn’t even know it. I kicked myself for not being brave. I would’ve had her in my arms sooner. I tell her all the time that I fell for her immediately and from meeting her I wanted more of her every passing day.

Just seeing her across the field filled me with the tucked away feelings I had for her. I remember thinking…What I would have given to be there again talking about the most mundane things over coffee. Hearing her try her hardest to tell a joke but failing as she laughs remembering the punch line or even unconsciously speaking with an English accent when we spoke… God, I really loved her for so long.

#woso #wwc 2023 #lucy bronze #lucy bronze imagine #woso x reader #engwnt x reader #lucy bronze x reader #barca femeni

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autisticlifelessons · 9 months

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Tips for boosting driving confidence in Autistic people

For some autistic people, myself included, driving anxiety can be really detrimental to your ability to get around and be independent. However, this year (10 years after starting to learn and 9 years after passing my test lol), I have been working hard to improve my confidence and whilst I still have a ways to go, my anxiety isn't nearly as bad as it was and I've driven places I would never have dreamed of this time last year.

The following tips are aimed at autistic people, but I think they'll apply to anyone who considers themselves a nervous driver.

Practice makes perfect! - if something makes you super anxious, the natural thing to do is avoid it if at all humanly possible, right? Well, it might make you feel relief in the moment, but over time this just reinforces your anxious thoughts and can make it harder and harder to break the cycle. As much as it sucks, the key thing is to just. keep. driving. Start with just short journeys on familiar roads and build it up from there. The more situations you encounter the more your skills will improve. For various reasons - including issues with visual processing and sensory overload - it's natural that some autistic people take longer to feel comfortable and confident at doing something, so just keep working at it and you'll slowly but surely notice a difference.

Leave yourself plenty of time - being late is a massive trigger for me, so if I find myself in a situation where I have to drive somewhere in a tight time frame it really freaks me out. Give yourself plenty of time to get where you need to go, so you know you have wriggle room if there's unexpected road closures or if you make a wrong turn. This is especially important if you're going somewhere unfamiliar as you will probably already be anxious about this. Plus, if you arrive early you will have some time to regulate/decompress yourself in preparation for whatever you have planned.

Set out your boundaries - Ok driving alone but having people in car with you sends you into a flat spin? That's fine - say no to passengers for a while and then if you feel ready have a trial run with someone you know will be kind and supportive. Equally, if you find having someone in the car with you is reassuring, that can be a big help - just be sure they understand you are feeling anxious so they don't pressure you to go routes you aren't ready for. Also, some people are overconfident in their driving abilities and may try to get you to do things that are unsafe - don't listen to them! Trust your own judgement.

Set a goal - having something specific to work for can help motivate you and give you a measure of your confidence improving. Maybe you want to drive to an out of town shopping centre, or take a road trip with a friend? Just make sure your goal is realistic and you give yourself a big pat on the back once you achieve it.

Practice self compassion - driving is stressful for some people and that's totally ok. I've accepted that while I can safely get from A to B, I'm probably never someone who is going to want to drive for fun. Remember, you are in charge of your life, no one else. Whilst I'm ok driving short distances, if I have to go to another city I would always opt for public transport if at all available. I know it'll make the whole thing much less stressful for me (and is better for the environment, too). Also, if you've been trying for a while but driving just isn't for you, that's totally ok, too! It sucks that the way our society is built means not having access to your own car is inconvenient at best, but remember we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and deciding not to drive doesn't make you a failure. You can bet the minute I can get hold of a (reliable and affordable) self-driving car, my life will be made so much easier!

And there you have it! I do hope my tips brought you some comfort or reassurance if this is something you've been struggling with. Remember, these tips are what have helped me personally - I am not a driving (lol) or medical professional, and I certainly don't claim to speak for all autistic people.

Your support is hugely appreciated xx

#autistic #actually autistic #neurdivergent #neurodiversity #autistic adult #autism #asd #autistic tips #life tips #anxitey #driving #driving anxiety #autistic driving

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daenysx · 1 year

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Hiii ! I just got my letter that i failed four out of seven exams and i feel so awful and just very self doubted and would love a fic of aemond just comforting reader about it 🩷🩷🩷🩷tests do not define you but it is hard 😢🩷

hi baby, i hope this little shot makes you feel a little better. if you want to talk to someone, you can always text me. ♡

my masterlist

comfort person

modern!aemond comforts you about your exam results.

"sweetheart? what is it?" aemond asks as he sees your face expression, your teary eyes and bitten lip gives him the explanation before your words, something you don't like is happening.

"what are you looking at?" he asks again, leaning to your side to see your laptop screen. there's a list of your grades and he goes over the list silently.

"i studied so hard for these." you whisper. he looks at your face only to see a single tear slide down on your cheek. "i knew they wouldn't be as good as i wanted, the exams were objectively hard but- i- i tried-"

he takes the laptop from your lap and puts it aside. your tears fasten and you wipe them off with the back of your hand. it cannot be said that your results are awful, you just need to work harder to get the gpa you wanted. aemond knows this. he knows, you know it too. he also knows you need the right motivation to study and when you have it, you'll be doing great.

he pulls you to his lap, your cheeks is covered with a reddish pink from feeling nervous. he helps you take off your sweatshirt and leaves you with a comfy crop top. he pulls your hair from your face and gently puts it in a ponytail, uses the hairband he keeps on his wrist.

he dries off your tears, gives you space to take a deep breath and relax. he doesn't say anything, not yet. you will talk to him when you're ready. he only has a soft expression on his face, waiting for you as long as you want.

you take his hand in your hand and play with his fingers. he wears his rings like he does all the time and you nervously touch the rings, a comfort habit of yours. you spend a few minutes of thinking and trying to calm down by playing with his long fingers.

"what do you think of them?" you ask finally.

"they are not as bad as you think, love. nothing you can't fix."

you exhale slowly. "i can fix them. maybe. it's just- i'm not sure if i can handle the pressure."

he rubs your back with his free hand and kisses your forehead. "you have time. you don't have to do anything until you're ready."

"maybe i'm not good enough. i mean- i studied so hard and look at the results i get. maybe i'm just fooling myself by setting my goals too high."

he shakes his head with a serious face. "no, i'm not letting you doubt yourself just because of this. you know perfectly well that you are good and a bad exam result won't change that."

the tone of his voice is not soft and gentle, it's convincing and confident. you know he's right but it's hard to accept that now.

"i think i just need time."

"exactly." he nods and continues, "there's nothing you can't achieve, baby. you're my sweet, strong girl, remember?"

you nod and kiss his lips. he kisses you back, his hands still comforting you and his kisses are slow.

"would you like some ice cream?" he asks.

"yes, please. and a movie?"

he nods and helps you move from his lap. "you choose the movie, i'll get the ice cream, love."

he tries to distract you from your thoughts that night. he holds you until you fall asleep after the movie, keeps whispering how proud he is with you, never lets you doubt yourself because of your results.

aemond targaryen is your comfort person and all you can do is to tell him you love him while holding his hand with your head on his chest. he makes sure his little love confession is the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x you #aemond x reader #modern!aemond #house of the dragon #hotd #aemond one eye #aemond × reader #aemond fluff

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meanferalbutch · 2 years

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The way I want to be taken down a peg by a hot femme. Everyone sees me in my leathers and my boots and my tattoos and you in your bright colorful clothes and they think they know what happens behind closed doors. Depending on the day and the assumption, they might even be close to right.

But some days you want to be the tough one. I don’t like to give up power easily, so you plan your attack with precision. Maybe you let me take you out to dinner, let me be chivalrous and pull your chair out and pay for the check. Let me spend all night teasing you slyly and draping off of my arm like youre coy. We both know that’s not the case, but we also know it makes me feel confident to get to make the first move. After a lovely night of showing you off and working me up we head home to the bedroom.

You wear something pretty and silky and lay in the bed, looking like a masterpiece. You hold me close and kiss the spot on my neck that makes me shiver and tug on my short hair and that makes me gasp. After a while you lay back and pant, giving me the look that tells me I better leave and come back to bed with something nice and big to fill you up with. So I do, reaching into nearby drawers and grabbing a collection of things: a harness, one of my more impressive dicks, lube, a condom. I set my self up, slowly and luxuriously pulling the straps tight and stroking my dick in front of you like I’m a performer, teasing you as much as I possibly can. You even let me get underneath you, starting to ride on my thighs and stomach, letting my hands wander.

Right as I’m rubbing my dick in between your thighs and I’m guiding your hips you suddenly grab my wrists and pin them by my head. I gasp at the sudden change in power dynamic and my head swims a bit at the way you look at me. Somethings changed in you, and I can tell you’ve taken on a new goal when you grab my strap and start stroking. Not just taking me, but needing a full Conquest. Doing my part to make it harder for you, I again try to move your hips up and onto me, only for my hands to get slapped away and pinned down again.

We both know that if I really wanted to I could flip you over and take what I want, but it’s holding that urge back that fuels how bad I want this. I decide to give up some struggle when I feel you retreat and shuffle your own harness on, pink glistening cock sparkling in the dim light. My eyes widen as I realize exactly how much control you want this evening, and you lean in close to ask if I would like to bottom tonight. When I answer it’s overwhelmingly positive, but incredibly quiet, so you take your hand with your red tipped nails and slap me across the face. I gasp again, and over my panting I can make out you telling me to ask nicely when I want to get something nicely.

So I do. I take all of my hangups about not being masculine enough, feeling like I have to be in charge, feeling like I can’t show this side of myself, and I shove them out the open window our next door neighbors can surely hear me from. I shudder and blush, but I sit up proudly when I ask you to make me your bitch. So you flip me over, fucking all the way into me from behind in one smooth motion as I cry out. You hold onto my dick, determined to keep it from swinging there uselessly and start to stroke it and grind into my cunt, and all I can do is hold onto the blankets until my knuckles go white. I can feel you fucking the fight out of me with each thrust and every single “good boy, good boy, good boy” timed perfectly in sync.

When I eventually do come it’s so loud that I’m now 100% positive the neighbors heard us, but I’m too sweaty and fucked out to care.

MEN MINORS AND TERFS FUCK OFF

#mine #I write a lot of embarrassing stuff #this feels like the most embarrassing for some reason 🙈#probably from aforementioned hang ups #butch bottom #butch sub #butch4femme #or hey if you’d like you can change a few things and bam #this makes me CRAZY to think about #especially getting my dick stroked while I’m getting fucked. gold almighty #lesbian nsft #so nsft #incredibly so

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bettsfic · 1 month

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I’m taking another break from writing and I really want this break to be different so that when/if I go back to writing I’ll actually stick with it and have some of my walls pulled down so that I have less resistance to working on a project. Do you have any tips on how to step away from a project to recoup mentally and then go back feeling ready to tackle writing a novel again?

I don’t want to just avoid writing by watching tv and stuff but also be ready for a new project:

If this helps, here’s what happened:

I was working on a story idea off and on for 6 months and I noticed it becoming a story I did not plan on and one I didn’t think my skill set was ready for. It made me avoid the project for days at a time or build up walls around the idea of writing because I have attempted this thing for 2 years now with no significant progress. Just starting and stopping an idea and hating myself and slowly hating writing in the process with each failure.

As someone who is goal oriented I set mile stones, like query in 5 years finish my first novel this year,etc….

But it feels daunting when you stand on square one and feel like your ideas not right or your not skilled, people are going to hate it, and you are afraid of self-inserts(I don’t like to read self-inserts so I’d hate to write one of my own by accident).

So now I’m burnt out and has lost touch with what’s fun about writing.

it's interesting that you mention the idea of walls multiple times here. that seems to be both the problem and the solution. it sounds like you're writing from two different minds: the half of you feeling creative and inspired, and the half who wants to do the job to the standards you set yourself.

the problem is that you can't do one task with both minds, so you have to give each their own task. the half of you that wants to make something and have a good time with it can become the generative half. you use that energy to plot, draft, daydream, etc. the other half of you needs to do something they're good at, because they don't seem to be very helpful with generation.

my recommendation is to create an independent study for yourself. this project sounds very important to you, and you want to do it justice, and that means that second half of you needs to devote itself to developing the scaffolding that will allow your generative side to build the thing you want to make. if you've done any kind of teaching before, great. if not, think back to how your favorite class you've ever taken was structured and go off of that. write a whole syllabus if that sounds fun to you (creating syllabi is very fun for me).

most people i know see everything in one step: do the thing. but try breaking all your goals up into at least two steps: teach yourself how to do the thing, then do the thing. especially for people like you who are goal driven and organized (and probably were/are very good students), it can be extremely fun and satisfying to become your own teacher.

here are some individual activities you can try that i think might keep you focused on your project and relieve the burnout:

write a list of learning objectives. this can be anything from specific craft mechanics to mindfulness and meditation.

create a reading list. find some relevant texts that will help inform your project. you say, "I don’t want to just avoid writing by watching tv and stuff," but if you watch tv through the lens of your project, it becomes a productive exercise. take notes, then organize and index your notes. personally, i love taking notes about the tv i watch and then indexing my notes.

craft small assignments that use what you learned from the reading list to reach the learning objectives. if one of your learning objectives is "learn how to write in first person," you take your favorite first-person reading and use it as a prompt for a short piece of prose.

make a final assignment. maybe your final assignment is a drafting plan (not an outline) for how you want to tackle your return to drafting. maybe it's a sample/practice chapter of your project. maybe it's an actual "what i learned in this course" style book report.

this isn't advice i would give to everyone. there are a lot of writers out there who would read this and go "absolutely fucken not" because they are the "just do it and see what happens" sort, or they had such a horrible primary education that the thought of framing creativity within the structure of a course seems agonizing. but for writers who get in their own way, who have both tastes and ideas that outweigh their current skill level, i definitely recommend training your scaffolding brain to tasks that are more actionable, and taking the time to learn what you want to write before writing it.

#writing advice #writers' block #pedagogy #process

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littlebitsmile · 5 months

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in flames [C.L.] | Chapter III

Welcome back! This took me a bit longer than usual, but it's still Sunday, so I'm glad you decided to join me (: Hope you all had a nice first week of 2024 - only 55 more days until we see our munchkins driving in circles again - hope this makes the wait a bit shorter.

As always, have fun (:

story: in flames driver: Charles Leclerc [C.L.] trope: #haterstolovers summary: Always working three times as hard as everyone else, Emma does not intend to blow her chance of driving among the best of the best in her very first season in Formula 1. Concentrating on first and foremost getting ahead of her brother, she does not even notice that there are some people even in her own team who think she does not deserve this spot and would rather see her fail. And one driver in particular seems to have a need of always reminding her of that.

────ʚ C H A P T E R III ɞ────

Music booms from the headphones in my ear, my feet float over the treadmill, drops of sweat run down the sides of my face. Next to me, all I can hear is Max's heavy breathing and the occasional quiet "f*ck" as another intensive interval approaches. My calves gave up the ghost ten minutes ago and have been cramping ever since, but my pride won't let me stop.

I actually wanted to squeeze in an extra training session this morning before Max woke up and wanted to hang out and do some off-season stuff, but unfortunately, he was already at the coffee machine when I decided to roll out of bed. He then followed me into the fitness room of his apartment without any comment.

He has been kind enough to let me stay with him, Kelly, and Penelope for a few years now so that I can avoid living with our parents and even worse, letting them decide what happens next with my accommodation situation. As the eldest son, he has probably had his experiences and learned his lessons, always being the one to take the blows, and although he always pretends to give me a hard time, I'm sure that deep down he doesn't want me to go through the same hell he did. The fact that I can never come close to his golden boy in our father's eyes anyway is a different story.

I breathe heavily but try to concentrate on the view. Monaco's harbor landscape is one of the most beautiful I have ever experienced. A little too much lifestyle of the rich and famous for my liking, but Max loved it here right from the start, when we first visited a few years ago. Maybe because he can live right next to the racetrack, waking up every morning and sipping his breakfast coffee with his brain already imagining those cars on the streets right in front of him.

"You're quiet," he presses out between his lips at some point. I don't look at him but concentrate on a small yacht that is about to leave the outer jetties. He gets a kick out of seeing me suffer, I’m sure of it. If I don’t let myself get distracted by the pain in my legs, I can do a few more minutes on this torture device.

"I'm dying," I reply, trying not to fall down at the same time. My diaphragm starts to painfully remind me that I'm not my 26-year-old racing brother, who has been doing this for years and years, never losing sight of his goals, exceeding his limits.

He reduces the speed on his treadmill and starts to jog slowly before continuing: "When are you flying to England? For simulator runs and so on?"

I'm still running at the same pace as before. I try to show February 15 with my hands, holding all of my ten fingers up, then five and the peace sign as a two, but I'm not sure if he immediately understands what I mean.

In the time between the end of the season and the first pre-season tests, the world stands still in my head. I enjoy visiting friends for once and not feeling bad when I see photos in our group chats of everyone getting together and me missing. Max, on the other hand, never leaves his zone - his racing set up in his study glows for hours every day. When he's not training, eating, or sleeping, he lives and breathes motorsport, whether it’s on or off track. Maybe that's why he's such an exceptional talent. Or maybe he is just stupid, for not living his life during his prime time and will fall into a pit of self-despair when he’s 40.

"Excited?" he interrupts my thoughts. I can’t remember what we were talking about, and he notices. “For the UK, I mean? Rain and cloudy weather?”

I nod. My lungs are burning, and I don't know who exactly I'm trying to prove something to. I keep running, my thighs are starting to burn like hell. A few of my fingertips go numb, and my head starts to feel dizzy. There are a few black dots here and there, but it isn’t the first time something like this happens and it won’t be the last.

"What number are you going to start with?" Max asks. I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to give too much away about whether I'll keep my number from Formula 2 or change it. Mostly because I haven’t thought about it and I would love to have a number with a deeper meaning.

"You could take 69."

When he says this, I almost stumble on the treadmill. I hold on left and right and hop onto the side edges as the mechanical noise belt continues to run beneath me. Although everything inside me hurts like hell after the last hour and a half of running, I must laugh out loud. Max grins sheepishly at me. Sometimes I am not sure who of us is the older sibling.

"I think that would be more your thing, don't you?" Out of breath, I put my hands on my hips and lean my upper body against the treadmill display. I try to calm my heartbeat, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

"I've already got the 1; that's enough for me..."

“You won’t have it forever, though," I interrupt him before he falls into another monologue of self-congratulation. I wiggle my eyebrows and grin mischievously at him. Then I stick my tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes before hitting me on the shoulder with his fist.

"The only one I'm afraid of is you,” he admits openly. I look at him in disbelief. Where has this recognition suddenly come from? I almost choke on the sip of water I’m taking. “But you're in the wrong car anyway, so at least I don't have much to fear this season.”

"I don't need your false assumptions, Max. We've never lied to each other." I look into the distance, back to the harbor. I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't the person I am.

"I'm not lying, I promise. I'm more afraid that this team will take you down with them."

"Aston Martin won't drag me into the abyss. They're giving me a fair chance."

"You would have had a fair chance with me and Red Bull."

"Fair, Max? Really? As number two? How well did that turn out with the last team partners? Lewis and Nico? Lewis and Valtteri? You and pretty much everyone who came after Sebastian? The only off-track friends who were in the same team and still get on well are Carlos and Lando. I don't want that for us." Now I turn to him. A furrow forms between his eyebrows, and he looks down at the ground. He knows I am right, and I think that causes him greater pain than what I just said about us not being able to be proper teammates.

"If you don't perform at Aston Martin, if you even get the chance to show what you are capable of in that sh*tbox of a car, then no other team will take you. There is only one chance to be part of this grid, and I just can’t believe you would rather not drive at all than have me as your team partner?" He is frustrated, I can feel it in his voice. So I try to soften my voice and understand him from his point of view.

"Max, I love you; I really do. You're the coolest brother in the world, and I'm not saying that because I get to live in your cool penthouse in the middle of Monaco.” There is a chuckle, and I know he wants to reassure me that he loves to have me here with him. But before he can speak another word, I continue. “But I've been compared to you my whole life and I will continue to be. This hasn’t been easy, for any of us. But for a change, I can decide for myself whether to confront it or if I just leave my phone off and not read the news, because no one in my own team will compare me to you." The conversation has taken on a serious tone, but I know he understands what I mean.

"I get it. I still would have liked you to be the wing woman. Pretty sure we’d be great. With you keeping all those madmen away from me." He winks. Then he looks straight ahead towards the panoramic window. It's quiet between us for a while.

I think back to his first victory with Red Bull. How he threw himself into the arms of his team afterward, so proud and so full of emotion, as if someone was finally accepting him for who he is, no ifs, ands, or buts. He doesn't talk much about his relationship with Christian Horner, but I'm 90% sure that Christian is in many ways the father figure for Max that our father could never be for him. How he has grown with this team and gone from a really misunderstood driver to a three-time world champion. He wouldn't leave Red Bull until they cut him out from inside with a digger and chainsaw and shipped him to the other side of the world. He lives, breathes, and burns for this sport and for the people in his immediate surroundings, a quality that I greatly admire in him and that not everyone is able to appreciate.

"If you could be someone else or do something else, what would it be?" The question catches him off guard. He is confused for a moment, then looks thoughtful and shakes his head.

"I don't think I want to be – can be - anywhere else. This is where I belong."

I believe him. But suddenly I'm not so sure if my answer would be the same.

As the plane lands in London, I grab my backpack, put on my cap, and hide my face a little better. I'm almost certain that some paparazzi is waiting for me in the arrivals hall because I seem to be the only one from the F1 paddock not traveling by a private jet. I wonder why.

I quickly get through security and baggage claim, so it feels like no more than 30 minutes before I step through the airport doors and out into rainy UK weather. To my right, an elderly gentleman with a sign saying "Emma V." walks towards me and takes my luggage. I thank him, get in the car, and then we make our way to the Aston Martin headquarters. I fall asleep unplanned and only wake up when we arrive.

I am overwhelmed by the polished floors, the glass structures of the building, how everything looks as if this is not the headquarters of a Formula 1 team but of Iron Man and the Avengers.

Mike Krack, the team principal, comes to meet me, shakes my hand, and welcomes me to the hallowed halls. I'm then given a tour, starting with the departments I'm least interested in, such as budget and logistics. I know these people are as important as anyone else, but I am a driver, so the technical departments will be my home base.

"But you're certainly not here to look at the view. You want to go to the simulators, right?" Mike states correctly at some point. I nod vigorously. "Then that's our next destination."

And no matter what I was expecting, it wasn’t that. As I step into a room with a screen as big as the panoramic view back at Max’s apartment, I immediately want to leap into the seat in front of it. I wait for a nod of approval from Mike before I hop into it and feel the leather beneath my hands and notice the smell of something new. I shriek. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. And before someone can stop me, I’m already turning the machine on and getting ready to drive my first laps in the simulator.

────ʚ [Masterlist] [Chapter II] [Chapter IV] ɞ────

#f1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #charles leclerc #slow burn #f1 imagine #haters to lovers

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phthalology · 3 days

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happy talk shop tuesday wednesday! please tell us about the difference, for you, between writing origfic and fanfic. is it difficult to strike a balance between the two in terms of desire/the differing needs of the genres/reception/etc? are you leaning more in one direction than the other these days and why? what obligations do you feel the genres place upon you? and such like.

Thank you for this twednesday ask which I will answer at length and bitterly!!

I write original fiction because doing so is one of a couple possible ways to reach a life-long career goal. Once I reach that goal, I expect to stop, unless I am paid. I’m slowly working on all of the ways. If not for that goal, I probably wouldn’t do it. I do like to apply what I’ve learned about original fiction structure to fanfic, because emphasizing stakes, forcing characters to make small but illustrative choices, creating contrast between characters, and pinpointing what a character wants are good story engines for a reason. Doing those things gives the story a kick!

I also don’t think I’m particularly good at those techniques. For me, original fiction craft is like navigating in the fog: I can’t really see what I’m doing, where I’m going or whether I’m doing it well compared to fellow travelers; I can only keep pulling the lines I have, pretty sure the more expensive boats do actually work better than my hand-built canoe does, and listen to the foghorns and shouting and such in the distance.

That pretty sentence? Has pretty much none of the requirements of a good original scene, I don’t think.

Reception … I like reception. It’s nice. I get it from fic, or, occasionally, from a person beta-reading original stuff. The fic reception is more fun.

I invariably lean both ways, but I set a relatively high original submission goal for myself this year.

Obligations … I do feel that for orig fic I need to keep up with contemporary styles and trends. For me, this is easy. I like reading contemporary work. But one runs into a lot of requirements when submitting that make it feel like applying for jobs. Twice in quick succession I wanted to submit to certain mags but couldn’t because the editors were vegetarian or simply by preference did not accept stories involving meat-eating or violence toward animals. This appears in an astonishing amount of my stories, usually in the form of fantasy creatures fighting each other, or in passing mentions of farming.

Fanfic of course also has some obligations in terms of community norms, but it’s completely different. It’s difficult to go from fanfic to a world of obligations with much higher stakes. The major difference is that out of fanfic I get short-term pleasure and confidence. Out of original fiction I get a sense of connectedness to what I decided meant security to me back when I was a kid. Those, maybe, mean the latter makes a better story.

#day-to-day

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the-missann · 2 months

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I don't think I've shared this with anyone besides a friend I don't really talk to anymore; and while I feel extremely nervous sharing them, I'll think I'll ease that by expressing the fact that I'm not an artist. I have been self teaching myself how to draw for years, so if this looks kind of bad, that's why.

Anyways, I obviously like it enough to share, so I am very proud of my work regardless.

That aside, I wanted to detail this story before sharing everything I did for it (I guess this'll be a short series about everything I drew for it).

A Fourth Dimension Reality is a series of books I'm writing about two inter-dimensional kids trying to find out what dimension they're actually apart of. Along the way, they meet other people who are integral to their goal. Each of these characters will be introduced as I go along.

Now, as for the real world logic, I wrote this story after me and that friend were talking about how some shows that are suppose to be comedy/satire lost that along the way.

So, I was determined to make a story where that stays intact even in the finale. Essentially, this is a long shit post that needs to be stopped, but it's still going well into five books with a unfinished total of 100k and seven books officially planned.

Each book ranges from 23k-30k and no book is any longer... yet

So, anyways, here's the actual cover of the first book (I have two more made).

Later on though I ended up drawing something goofy where all the characters find a dimension that does space tours. That was my excuse as to why they don't have shoes (because you don't want to get the dimension dirty do you?)

But this is everyone and presents their personalities pretty well. I'll showcase them separately over the next few days.

For now, this is perfect showcase of this story:

“So this means no one can hear me scream!” Cassie used all of her breath in that howl. Larson groaned and went to hit her, but she moved out of the way and spun slowly in the air. “I can dodge you better out here.” She mocked.

With a growl, Larson said, “this isn’t some kind of joke. We need to do what Jax said.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” She dismissed his comment. “We’ll get there eventually, let’s just have a little fun!”

Larson just stared at Cassie as she continued to spin around happily.

He was brought back to reality when he felt his phone vibrate. “Oh, I forgot,” he answered it swiftly, “you can hear me right?”

Back on Earth, Jax could clearly hear them through the phone. “I’m surprised that it even works! I really didn't think it would.” He said with amazement present in his voice.

“Yeah, doubt me, why don’t you.” Jax laughed at Larson’s remark. “But I’ll try a video call now.”

“Alright.”

Larson was about to press the button when he saw Cassie still spinning around in front of him; he sighed and turned on the video call. Once it came up, he saw a smile grow to Jax’s face.

“So it does work, great.” Jax paused. “Cassie!” He called out.

“Yeah?” She said while turning to look in their direction.

“The video call works.” Jax announced.

“Okay!” She began to slow her spinning down.

Cassie took out her own phone and called Jax once more. She put it on the video call and stuffed the phone inside of her bag. She zipped it closed and turned to Larson.

“Okay, I can see him, so that means we’re good! I’m screen recording so you guys can do whatever you have to.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” Larson said.

Cassie huffed. “Stop being so mean. Anyways, we will Jax!” Cassie confirmed.

“Good luck you two!”

With their method of documentation set, they started putting their plan into action. Larson slowly moved over to Cassie.

“Stop acting like a kid and let’s get to work.” He snapped at her.

“You’re so boring. We’re in space dude! We can breathe without astronaut helmets, why not live a little, Lars?”

“Maybe on our next trip.” Larson went ahead and turned back once he was a small distance away from her.

From his jacket pocket, he pulled out the rope he brought. Needing to be as air resistant as possible, he couldn’t carry a bag with him, instead he just already tied the rope around himself and stuffed the other end into his jacket pocket. He pulled out the other end and threw it to Cassie for her to grab. Cassie caught it and was now being pulled by Larson.

Once she was in front of him, Cassie pulled him. Their motions created a way for them to move about in space with the most amount of ease. After a few minutes of their maneuvering, Cassie let out a sigh.

“See, this is all business,” Cassie said with a pout.

“Yeah, yeah. Looking like a bitch doesn’t help you.”

“At least you used the right word, but I wasn’t trying to give you puppy dog eyes.”

They remained pulling each other in a still silence. This was maintained until they could finally see Pluto. Cassie giggled as she stared at it.

“Oh it’s so cute!” She paused. “Do you really think anyone will be there?”

“I don’t know, but if we do find someone it would be better to stick together.”

“I wonder if it’s like a superman thing.” Cassie started to talk about something else. “Like we’re stronger because we were on Earth for so long.”

Larson scoffed. “If anything, being on earth made us weaker.”

“See, I don’t think like that,” Cassie began, “I really feel like we’re stronger because we’ve been exposed to different mindsets and then we’re going to learn this one. So by default, we’ll be smarter!”

“Always on the bright side huh?”

Cassie giggled.

Also, fun fact: I'm so bad at spelling I kept writing Dimension as Dimention and I still don't really know if I'm spelling it right😃

They kept pulling each other until they were caught into the gravitational pull of Pluto and were able to land...

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thoselethalarts · 24 days

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𝓚𝓪𝔃𝓾𝓸 𝓖𝓾𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓻𝓸 - 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂

(R) Gym Uniform: “I’m So Stupid…!”

(NRC: Sports Field)

Vargas: Alright, boys! I think that’s good enough for today. Vargas: I can tell you’re improving more than just your times. Hit the showers, and keep up the good work next week!

Phobos: Finally… Thought today would never end. (Yawn…)

Jack: You hardly did anything and you’re yawning.

Phobos: I did enough. I don’t need to be running around for a whole hour to improve my time. Phobos: I’m takin’ off and takin’ a nap. Later.

(Phobos grabs his bag and departs from the group)

Jack: Abrasive as always… He really doesn’t change. Jack: Hm…? Isn’t that Kazuo out there at the edge of the field?

Deuce: Huh? Oh, you’re right, that does look like him. Deuce: That’s weird, he didn’t show up to club, but he’s still out here practicing? Wonder if something happened.

Jack: Beats me. Maybe he was feeling sick or something and only just now made it out.

Deuce: I know I’d feel embarrassed if I could only show up to the tail end of club… I don’t really blame him. Deuce: Maybe we should go check up on him, just to make sure he’s feeling okay.

Jack: It’s not a bad idea to make sure our upperclassmen are doing alright. Lemmie grab my bag and then we can head over.

(Jack and Deuce pause to pick up their gym bags and then walk across the field to meet with Kazuo at the furthest edge)

Kazuo: 27… 28… 29… 30! Kazuo: Whew…! Alright, time for a break~

Deuce: Hey Kaz!

Kazuo: Hm? Oh hey, Jack and Deuce! What’re you troublemakers up to?

Deuce: We just saw you out here from across the field, wondering what you were up to was all. Deuce: Are you feeling okay? You look like you’re out of breath.

Kazuo: Oh, haha! Yeah, I’m alright. I’m just out of breath ‘cuz I’m between reps. Kazuo: Today’s my upper body day! So I was using this tree’s low-hanging branch to do some pull-ups. It’s surprisingly really sturdy. Kazuo: You guys wanna join me? I was gonna do another set of pull-ups and then some push-ups after.

Jack: Hm… I’ve still got some energy left in me. Why not?

Deuce: I’ll join, too! I wouldn’t mind seeing just how far I can push myself to my limits.

Kazuo: Sweet! There’s another couple trees over here with some low-hanging branches you guys can use too! Let’s go!

(Some time passes, and the trio pause their training to take another break. The afternoon sun slowly starts to pass into sunset upon the field.)

Jack: So… you said you like to come out here to train? What goal are you training for?

Kazuo: Oh, nothing specific. I just want to stay in good shape for my job is all.

Deuce: Oh! I didn’t know you had a job, Kaz! What do you do?

Kazuo: Eheh, well… it’ll probably sound kind of made up considering our environment, but… I’m a Ghostbuster!

Deuce: A Ghostbuster…? You mean, like the movie?

Kazuo: Yeah! Exactly like the movie! I know it probably sounds fake, but it’s true! Kazuo: People call me out to the scene when they’re experiencing paranormal activity, and then I hunt down and exorcise the ghost or ghosts causing it.

Deuce: That’s really cool, actually! Why would that be weird?

Kazuo: Eh, well, I mean I haven’t been doing a lot of my job here because all the ghosts at the school are friendly… most of them even employed here.

Jack: That’s true. You’d get in serious trouble if you tried exorcising one of the staff ghosts on campus. Jack: There’s plenty of ghosts that are hostile and dangerous elsewhere, but here on campus pretty much all of them are friendly.

Kazuo: Yeah, exactly. Truth be told, I’m not used to being around so many friendly spirits. Kazuo: Most of the time when I get called out to investigate a haunting, the spirit’s either hostile or just clinging too hard to reality. Kazuo: Either way, they can’t stay in the realm of the living. It’s my job to catch them and send them back to where they belong. Kazuo: I call myself a “Ghostbuster” on paper ‘cuz it sounds more friendly, but really I’m more like a Grim Reaper in practice. Any spirit trapped in reality is a target for me, even if it’s freshly departed.

Deuce: So, what do you need to do all this training for? I wouldn’t think a job like that would be very physically taxing.

Kazuo: Haha! You might not think so, but honestly it’s a lot more draining than it sounds. Kazuo: Depending on the spirit, they can be either really easy to placate or extremely dangerous. I won’t know which it is until I’m on the scene, either. Kazuo: In practice, fighting a spirit isn’t any different than fighting a normal, living human. The only difference is that humans can’t use magic to fight back and evade your attacks. Kazuo: You know my friends Marcus and Matt, right? They’re kind of in the same business as me, they just hunt things other than ghosts. Kazuo: Since we’re all in the same boat together, I’ve been trying to get them to do training with me. But…

(Kaz recaps a flashback to a point in the past)

Marcus: Haah… Hahh… Alright, time out. Time out, time out. I need… I need a break.

Kazuo: What, already?! C’mon, bro, we just got started!

Marcus: I dunno how you keep doing this every day, Kaz. You have way too much energy.

Kazuo: Hey, I don’t do this every day, just every other day! On the days I don’t have track and field, I’m out here training! Kazuo: And how do I have too much energy?! This is easy mode!

Marcus: “Easy mode”, yeah speak for yourself on that one. I’m not a sports guy like you are, this is more than enough for me. I need to catch my breath…

Kazuo: Aren’t we in the same business? How do you even manage to do your job when you can barely do this much?

Marcus: Honestly, I usually I have adrenaline to keep me going. Marcus: Also, I’m not usually doing sit-ups, push-ups, and burpees when I’m running around like my life depends on it…!

Kazuo: You’d probably have to rely less on adrenaline if you trained like I did. C’mon, it’ll get easier when you do it more often! Kazuo: How you doin’ with it, Matt?

Matt: Ah, you don’t gotta worry ‘bout me none, I’m jus’ peachy~

Marcus: You don’t have any right to talk, you don’t have “normal” stamina to begin with.

Kazuo: Well, how ya feeling now? We still got another set of squats and burpees to do!

Marcus: I think I’m gonna throw up.

Matt: He’s exagguratin’.

Marcus: I’m gonna throw up on you specifically. Ugh…

(The flashback ends)

Deuce: Haha! I’m not surprised to hear that Marcus isn’t the most athletic of people. He certainly doesn’t look it.

Kazuo: And yet his job isn’t any different than mine! Can you believe that?! Kazuo: That guy’s gonna have a heart attack before he turns 30 if he keeps pushing himself like he does. Kazuo: I’ve been trying to get him to train with me so we can all stay fit together, but usually he says no and it’s just me on my own out here. I’m glad you guys could join me today, it’s nice to have some company every once in a while.

Jack: Hey… don’t mind me for asking, but you said that days that you don’t have Track and Field you’re usually out here doing supplementary training, right? Jack: Why’d you miss our club meeting today, then?

Kazuo: …Wait, what?

Deuce: Come to think of it, I feel like you’ve been missing a lot of club meetings lately. Whenever Vargas does roll call, I feel like I rarely hear you answer your name.

Kazuo: W-Wait, did I get my meeting days mixed up…?! I thought it was every Monday and Wednesday we had club!

Jack: Nope. Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Kazuo: Damniiiiiiitttt…!! This whole time I thought I was just showing up early or club meetings got called off! Kazuo: God, I’m so stupid…! I’ve been doing all this training on my own for nothing!

Deuce: H-Hey, don’t take it too hard! It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve forgotten about something important and either showed up late or completely skipped on accident, either.

Kazuo: Yeah, but I hate that I’ve been tanking my attendance without even realizing…! That’s not gonna look good on my overall club standing…

Jack: Try not to beat yourself up too much about it. You’ve still been working hard, even if you haven’t got the marks to show it. Jack: Tell Vargas you’ve been doing solo training in your free time, and I’m sure he’ll forgive your absence. I’ll back you up on that, too.

Kazuo: Really…? You think so?

Deuce: Sure he will! I’ll be a witness for you, too, just to be sure.

Kazuo: Man… I’m still mad at myself for getting my dates mixed up like that, but I appreciate the help, guys.

Jack: Sure thing. Now you know, at least, so you can straighten up from here on out. Jack: We’re in the same dorm, so I can remind you before club starts to get ready if you need it.

Kazuo: Yeah, that’d be great. It’ll take me a minute to readjust my schedule for sure, I don’t wanna go on autopilot and forget again, after all. Kazuo: Speaking of time, it is getting pretty late now, huh? How ‘bout we stop by the Mystery Shop on the way back to the dorms and grab some snacks? Kazuo: It’ll be my treat, as thanks for helpin’ me figure this shitty situation out!

/ End

#ツイステッドワンダーランド #Twisted Wonderland #TWST #twst oc #oc #original character #soul writes #personal story #Kazuo Guerrero #カズオ • 戦士

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ginnyw-potter · 5 months

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A recap of 2023

so this is the year I wrote. I wrote more than I have ever done and so I thought it would be nice to look back on 2023 and look a little further back as well.

I used to write fanfic, I think I started about 14 years ago. I am not a native speaker and my English definitely needed some work then. I also have so many qualms about my old writing (I apparently hadn't found out about paragraphs yet), but we all have to start writing somewhere.

I stopped writing little by little, feeling burned out and completely stopped in 2018 (for various reasons). I don't think I wrote anything at all in 2019 or very little. In 2020 I dipped my toes in again with a few oneshots.

End of 2021 is when I started writing again and finally came back to writing Harry Potter fanfic. I started out with a longfic of 70K words! It was a struggle and I think it's like a muscle that wasn't being used. A Guiding Light is the fic that got me back in and I posted it throughout 2022.

And then I started two new fics because I was inspired again. I started posting those at the end of 2022/start of 2023. Knight of Mine and Peverell's Progeny have both surpassed the word count of Guiding Light with ease. It was never my purpose to get to a certain word count, and it is not what I focus on, but going from nearly 0 words in 2020 and slowly increasing, it's amazing to see myself putting out so many words.

And as well this year I focused less on what things I think people want to read and got a little more self-indulgent and it is so rewarding. It really makes me enjoy writing it even more.

My mental health has been shit before and it really took a nose dive in 2018, but this year I finally started feeling like myself again. My anxiety has gotten so much better and in turn I have been sick way less (although I did knock it out of the park at the start of the year with about 5 weeks of various illnesses) so I feel like I can enjoy life more in general. I am not sure if my writing helped me get there or if I am writing more because I am feeling better. All in all, I think writing has been helping me get through various things and it is one of the only things I enjoy doing consistently.

I haven't kept exact track of how much I wrote in the last year but based on my AO3 statistics as they are today (26th of Dec), I think it's safe to say that 2023 has surpassed all the others before.

You can see the majority of what I wrote, 414K of a total 541K, has been posted in the last year. It's crazy to think about. A lot of people found my writing as well this year and it's been so amazing getting that feedback ...as well as crazy paternity guesses with emojis, begging me for horse smut (that is still a no-you know who you are) and bribing me to update early... they really do make my day and some of you are too funny for your own good.

Looking ahead a little, I want to see what else I can achieve in the upcoming year. I am not setting any specific goals for myself other than continuing to work on my ongoing fics and not starting too many new ones (*pushes Pirate AU back under the bed*) Buut I am curious how much writing I actually get up to and so I made myself a little tracker.

Bullet journaling is the only other hobby aside from writing that I seem to be able to do consistently. I just kind of fell out of it in the summer of 2022 and finally picked it back up again for 2024. I think when I wasn't writing, it was a good different outlet for me and I still enjoy it. It simply slipped out of my habits, especially when I moved out on my own last year and I was too focused on keeping up with chores and other stuff. Now I am a little more organised, so I do hope to keep it up. It will also force me to do something else than writing once in a while, which is probably healthy for me.

This tracker looks a little chaotic, I know, but i wanted to get everything on one page. Maybe next year I can tell you exactly how much I wrote.

And word counts are nice but I think improving is also important and I do feel like I have managed to learn a lot of things this year and I will continue to do so in the coming year. I take great inspiration from other people's writing. I always get inspired when I read an especially good fic (which often ends up with me starting a new WIP, send help) and I discover new ways to put in descriptions or how to phrase something a certain way. And talking to other fic writers on here, or discord, is also where I learn a lot. A ton of you are so talented and it is such a joy to be able to discuss things, pick your brains and get feedback. Sometimes I just learn things by reading along to someone else's discussion. Sometimes you find answers to questions you didn't know to ask!

I also want to thank my beta readers, who have read so many words this year. They are so FAST and then apologise for being slow. I cherish them so much.

If you read up to this point, thank you! If you've read a fic of mine this year, thank you as well. If you left me kudos or comments, recced me... you get a little kiss on the forehead.

If you have achievements of your own this year that you are proud of, do share them! (Reblog or send me an ask, I want to hear about it!) Let's celebrate all the work you put in!

#writing #fic #personal

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themirroredmoon · 2 years

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Meditation and ADHD

Now, I know what you may be thinking seeing this: "Corvid, I can't meditate! My body won't let me!"-- I can tell you now, confidently, that you're meditating wrong if you think meditation about the emptiness of your mind and doing nothing. When you feel your muscles are weak, what do you do? Exercise them. Your brain is no different then the rest of your body-- You need to 'stretch' or exercise it to make it stronger. Though I'm not talking about doing word puzzles or even listening to music, which are proven to improve brain function. We're here to talk about meditation and how you can start to work meditation into your daily life. Disclaimer: I myself have ADHD and these tips and tricks have worked wonders for me. If they don't for you, try a different approach.

Start off slow. Set a goal of three to five minutes a day. It'll seem like a lot at first but gradually it will get easier. If your thoughts wander or you can't sit still, don't worry-- This is completely normal. The goal is to merely observe your mind and how it functions and bring yourself back to focus when you notice it wander.

With that being said, please give yourself grace and leniency. Throughout your session, you may want to fidget or stretch, scratch that itch or count the black specks in the grout of your tiled kitchen floor. It happens. Instead of abandoning or saying that you failed, be kind to yourself and just continue. Scratch the itch and return to calm; stretch and maybe find a more comfortable position. Even if you feel you 'failed' the session, keep up with it and keep trying.

Find what you deem as a comfortable place to meditate. You could sit in your favorite chair, you could lie down with your favorite blanket, etc. You should loosen the tension in your muscles and make sure they're relaxed. If you cannot comfortably sit still, try a repetitive, 'autopilot' task like going for a walk. My favorite (and easiest) thing to do is focus on my breathing and the breaths I take. Some people listen to music. In time, you'll figure out what you find comfortable.

Being in a comfortable space also means pay attention to what you're wearing. It may be harder to let your mind relax if the waistband of your pants is digging into your skin or your sweater is itchy. The same thing goes for earrings that pull down on your ears too much or shoes that feel tight. Wear what you find comfortable and lessen the distractions.

When you notice your mind wandering from you in the moment, simply acknowledge the thought and return your attention to your task (walking, breathing, etc). Accept that minds are meant to think and give yourself permission to have a wandering mind. Don’t judge yourself for having thoughts or focus your attention on them.

Quiet is relative. Not everyone has a peaceful environment so the goal is to lessen the distractions as much as possible. Turn off your phone, close your bedroom door, put pets in another room, whatever you can and need to do.

When your session is complete, don't just jerk yourself back to reality. Give yourself and your body the time it needs to come back to the present. Doesn't matter if you meditated for one minute or one hour, take your time-- If your eyes were closed, slowly open them; if you were on a walk, take an extra couple of minutes to get home; etc.

Find a body double-- If they're willing to meditate with you, that's amazing. If not, have them hold you accountable for the task and make sure you do it. Set up a regular, daily time to do so and use one of the many meditation apps out there nowadays.

The take away that I hope you get from this is that you don't have to clear your mind or be blank or not move an inch. Allow yourself to do whatever you feel you need to do and then return back to the mindfulness that is meditation. Be kind to yourself and don't 'should' yourself; I never said this would be easy, I just said it was possible.

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junmoonhui · 1 year

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Do Re Mi

Pairing: platonic!seungcheol x reader, romantic!dino x reader

Context: the leader feels bittersweet seeing the maknae enjoy the simple little things in life, something that he wished he would have had now that he's almost 30; inspired by dino and scoups' convo in ITS season 2 ep 2; has the same lore/in the same universe as Soulmates Redefined; (wc: 2.1k)

Warnings: alcohol

"This was fun, but I think I'll head to bed now." Seungkwan said as he let out a yawn and stood from the table. After filming the second season of In The Soop and finishing up Be The Sun, the boys agreed to go on a vacation with some other people—no cameras, just friends and loved ones making the most of their youth.

"I'll go with you." Dino said, turning to face you. "Are you coming to bed with me?"

"In a while," you replied.

"Okay, I'll make some space for you on the bed." Dino brought his lips to your temple before following Seungkwan into the cabin.

"Ah, the maknaes are now going to sleep," Seungcheol said, a tipsy smile on his face. "Speaking of maknaes, where's Vernon?"

"He went to bed earlier with his girlfriend," you replied.

Time slowly creeped deeper into the night. Just two hours ago, the picnic area was buzzing with energy. Right now, most of the boys and your other friends had either resigned themselves to their beds or shifted to the karaoke room, leaving you drinking with Seventeen's leader.

"Ah," he said, not a word more. Seungcheol stared longingly at the soju bottle.

"What's wrong, oppa?" you asked.

"Hmm?" The leader seemed out of it, the soju partly to blame.

"You've been quiet tonight," you said. "Well, not quiet quiet, but you've been more solemn tonight. You don't have to tell me anything, though. I know I'm more close with the younger members, but I'm still your friend and I want to make sure all my oppas are okay."

He gave a dry chuckle. "Thank you, y/n. You don't really have to worry about it. It's okay, really."

"I know you don't want me worrying about it, but I'm always here to listen. I may be younger than you oppa, but I'm not a kid anymore. I can't promise that I can make your problems easier, but if you need to vent, I'm always here, just like how you're always there for us." You softly nudged his shoulder on his.

Seungcheol sighed, hands fidgeting with his beanie. "It's just that sometimes I get pressured being the oldest in Seventeen. I grew up in a household where I was the youngest. I hadn't really pressured myself into setting my own goals when I reach certain ages since I always thought, 'Oh, I have an older brother. I'm still young and I have a lot of time ahead of me.' But then being the oldest in this group puts things into perspective.

"Lately I've been thinking about how I'm almost 30. I usually never compare myself to my hyung because we're leading such different lives. In a lot of ways, I felt like I've achieved so much more than him—being an artist, travelling the world, accomplishing so much in my 20s. But in some ways I also feel like I'm getting too caught up in the achievements in my career. I see my hyung with a stable job and a family, and I think to myself, I want that, too. Lately I've been thinking of personal goals, like finding a partner, having a kid, maybe a home in a quieter part of Seoul.

"I know I still have a lot of time, but when I'm so close to my 30s, I also feel like time is running out when I look at the bigger picture. And when I see Vernon and his girlfriend, and you and Dino, I can't help but feel a bit jealous. Of course, I'm happy that my members are happy, and that you're happy, too. You support us in everything we do, and I'm thankful that Chan and Vernon found someone as patient as the two of you. But sometimes I also feel angry about that—or maybe I'm really just angry at myself. When I was your age, Seventeen was still a fairly new group. There really wasn't much time for vacation or dating. And it makes me jealous sometimes that you guys have so much more than I had. It makes me angry at myself because I feel like at this time, I should also be able to have the things I want on top of my career.

"I look at you and Dino and think about how you guys are on your way to building your life together while also still having time, having the chance to take it as slow as you want. And me, when am I even going to find someone?"

He let out an audible sigh and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. After a deep exhale, he looks at you, signaling for a response.

"Wow," was all you could say, eyes wide with the revelation. "I honestly don't know how to respond to that."

Seungcheol pat your shoulder with a small laugh, his smile a bit more genuine this time. "It's okay, it really felt good to just, say that out loud, you know? My chest feels so much lighter now. Thank you, y/n, really. Chan is so lucky to find someone like you, and we're all lucky to have you in our group, too. I'm sorry for dumping this all on you."

"Hey, no apologizing for venting," you giggled. "That's what friends and drinks are for. Your feelings are valid, oppa. I may not be as old as you now, but I can see where you're coming from. How long have you felt this way?"

He looked up with a sharp inhale, as if in thought. "A few weeks maybe? I hadn't had much time to think about it, we were so busy last year. But after the new year, I realized I'm turning another year older. And I guess I just started to sort of... panic. And even though our company's let us have a bit more freedom after the contract renewal, it's not like I can even jump directly into the life I want. We've been busy and I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues last year that I didn't really have the time to work on my personal goals, let alone even start dating. It's a wonder how you and Dino even found each other."

You shrugged. "It wasn't really planned. It all just... sort of happened. I came to Korea as a college exchange student for a semester. I made a few videos and demo tracks and someone from Pledis picked it up. I really was just supposed to meet the vocal team at that time, and I was really excited to meet them. I had been a Carat for a while, back then. And I guess they just enjoyed the time we spent together and they let me meet the rest of you guys, and that's how I first met Dino in person."

"Wait, when we met you, we weren't allowed to date yet," he reminded.

You smiled as you remembered the story. "We weren't officially dating then. We agreed that with our schedules and the different countries, we were better off as friends. Then he showed up a year later to my graduation day, at that time you guys had already renewed your contract. He said he couldn't bring himself to see other people because he still saw me in them. So he flew all the way to my school and said that he'd be willing to try long distance since we were both focusing on our careers, he really just wanted to be able to call me his. And I said yes because we really worked well as friends, even when I wasn't in Korea anymore. And then I got the job offer from Hybe a few months after graduation, and now I'm happy that we're able to spend a lot more time together while still being able to focus on our careers."

"Sure, make me feel more single," he joked.

"It's not like that!" You protested. "My point is that Dino and I happened out of a series of unexpected circumstances. Any minor change in any of those, and we won't be where we are right now. But we still happened, and I'm grateful for that. What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to pressure yourself to actively build the life you want, at least not right away. Things will fall into place in their own time—or maybe I'm wrong, who knows? But it is possible, and maybe blessings would come into your life when you least expect it."

"I just wish I could've still done something, you know?" He said. "I just feel like I've wasted time, and now I'm looking back at my younger self, and I wish I could be that young again, do some things differently."

"Well, I can't turn back time, oppa," you replied. "But I can give you the same advice Seungkwan gave Chan. Even though you're the oldest Seventeen member, you're the maknae of your family. It's okay to take advantage of that sometimes. In that perspective, you're still young. you're not 30 yet. And even if you turn 30 soon, you'll still have a lot of your life ahead of you. I know it's scary sometimes. There are things I definitely wished I did when I was younger, and there are things that I feel like I want to do but it's too late for me to start on it. But I learned that I can't change the past, and I don't really want to spend every waking moment worrying about the future. I'm slowly learning to let go of things I can't change so that I can ground myself and be able to enjoy the present. A college professor once told me that age is a gift. I may think that getting older means I'm running out of time to start something new, but I'm starting to let myself learn that getting older just means I'm gaining more experience and opportunities to learn about myself and continue to build on what I have. I don't want to force my advice on you, oppa, and I can't guarantee you that things will come into place eventually, but I do hope that you let yourself breathe and have peace of mind. You've come a long way, and I know you still have so much more to achieve."

Seungcheol smiled wider, with true sincerity this time. "Now I'm the one who doesn't know how to respond, except maybe with a thank you. Really, y/n, I'm happy that you're our friend. And I'll try to lighten up on myself. Maybe I've been focusing too much on external things I feel like I should be in control of instead of focusing on myself and my well-being. That really puts things into perspective. And while I still hope to have the life I want someday, I really do hope that I'll get to have some peace of mind and enjoy the life I already have. Thank you."

You smiled at him. "Anytime, oppa."

Later, you snuck into your and Dino's room, hoping not to wake him. He lay on his side of the mattress, one arm on his face and one arm sprawled out on your side, inviting you in. You carefully lifted the sheets and lay your head gently on his arm. Once you were settled, he shifted so that his chest was pressed against your back, his other arm draped over your waist.

"I heard what you said to Coups hyung," he whispered against your hair. "Thank you for taking care of us y/n. Sometimes we lose sense of ourselves and forget how young we still really are."

"You all grew up too fast," you whispered back, thinking of how young they were when they debuted. You took his hand around your waist and raised it to your lips, pressing soft kisses on his knuckles. In return, Dino pressed soft kisses on the back of neck.

"Coups hyung was right," he said. "We're all lucky to have you, not just me. But I'm the luckiest out of all of them, because I get to have you, and build my life together with you."

You giggled softly. "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"All of it," you can practically hear him smirking. "Our room is just beside the picnic area."

You turned to face him, meeting his eyes in the moonlit room. "I meant it all, you know."

He softly pressed his lips to yours, his free hand cupping your face with his thumb caressing your cheek. The arm under your head curved to wrap around your shoulders. He pulled away and looked into your eyes, smiling that small smile of his, revealing the tiny dimples in the corners of his mouth.

"I love you, y/n," he whispered, his warm breath fanning against your lips. His fingers played with your hair. "Always and forever."

"I love you too, Chan-ah. Always and forever."

Tagging: @ontowanderlust @bitchlessdino

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noowayybroo · 1 year

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Unfair (LORD IT's PART 2)

Characters: Albert Wesker + Reader

PART 2!! So fast ik! Only cuz I wrote them at the same time. This is my first fic and it's hugely self indulge so it would be so neat if you could tell me if you like it and / or criticize it or tell me what you wanna read :pleading: anything would be nice!

Warnings: SFW (FOR NOW), next part might not be, Wesker kinda hypnotises you, Kinda wrote this for myself :flushed: , Gender Neutral, Dub con?? Wesker kinda forces you at first but then you don't mind so much??? Guess that's how brainwashing works??? VERY slowburn :/ I write too much. Wesker is a LOT softer cuz I don't like meanies, I'M NEW TO RE so idek when this is set I'll leave that for you to fantasize about

Slowly, he removed his glasses. He seemed to be savouring your fear, your helplessness as if it were a precious memory he'd recollect another day. Before long - there they were, staring back at you. You'd only ever seen Wesker's true eyes in secret photographs you'd taken, or when reading his documents, so the fact that they were red didn't seem to phase you. No, it was how red they were. They seemed to be burning, glowing with rage and pure energy as his cat-like pupils narrowed. He was a predator surveying worthless prey. He was a cat, and you were his mouse, and the game was over; he'd already caught you.

Petrifying fear was bubbling within you as your blood seemed nothing but frozen solid. It felt as though your heart was keeping up a criminally overtime pace just to keep your limbs fuelled. Your own fear and dread were eating you up and before long of staring into Albert's raging, magma-like eyes, your legs gave in. You collapse into a strange mix between a sit and a kneel, but you can't even think about that now. You can't seem to think about much, really, as Wesker follows you to the ground, crouching with practiced ease, and not once breaking precious eye contact.

You're not sure how long you've been looking into the man's eyes, watching as the bright reds and yellows clash and overlap like waves on a shore, fighting for dominance. A huge wave of fear sloshes around your brain when he removes his hand from your chin, yet you find yourself still unable to look away. Your lips tug downwards into a distraught frown and you make out the words "Stop... Please. . . Why?" in-between heavy breaths.

"Why?", Albert coos, almost considering this for himself actually. He had no idea this would work so well, you were his first victim. In a way, bless him, he was so reliveved to not have to kill you. All he had to do now, he thought, was make you forget about everything…. But he supposed there was no harm in having some sick fun with you first. He came to find quickly that he did so love your tormented expression. "I can't have you roaming around, going on about your pathetic daily life harbouring all of this gossip, now can I?"

He pauses, thinking for a while, his hand now on his chin as his brows knit together. "And it would be oh such a shame to make you forget everything… That brain of yours could be of good use to me…", Albert seems to be deep in comprehension, looking away for a while as he pieced things together. If you could keep him distracted with questions like this, you might be able to escape this trance, break free from his control. His head was busy with each possibility. It actually did hurt him a little to think of wiping your mind. You'd worked so hard and risked so much to gather your dirt on him and he himself knew how it felt to have a passion and a goal.

You also would be very useful to him. Maybe he could make you his spy… His slave? Albert shakes his head furiously, before returning his cold, calculating glare to you. He had always respected you and thought that as far as do-good, pathetic humans went, you were quite… Wonderful. Yes, you were a rather agreeable specemin. He didn't want your blood on his hands. However, as he stared into your eyes, your tranced state and tranquil face almost put him under, himself. What if he could have more than that? That was right, his own power over you filled him with this great lust and greed. What if he could have- no. He wanted you. He would have you.

"Listen to me, Y/N.", Wesker's voice is a lot softer now, as if he's trying to relax you somewhat. He pauses to ensure your eyes remain on his, silently demanding your attention as he thinks of what to say next. Meanwhile, his voice, coupled with his hypnotic glowing orbs, does a threateningly good job at distracting you from your fear. "… There's a way out of this that serves both of us." He tempts you, your conscience latching into the thought of evading death. "I'll be safe and you'll be…", a long pause, too long. "… Safe. Doesn't that sound good?". Wesker's brows raise slightly, awaiting a reply.

"…Yes, Albert."

Whilst a large part of you feels apprehensive still, and does not trust the cunning man one bit, the desperate portions of your mind cling to the idea of self-preservation. Perhaps if you pretended to submit, you could trick him and escape somewhere along the line. Thoughts like this were only a small whisper at the back of your mind now as you gazed at him. Your eyelids were heavy, your mind was foggy and your body was numb. You tried in vain to tell yourself you were answering him to stay on his good side, but really…? Would you have a choice at all very soon?

Your eyes dart to his smirk, but he doesn't seem to mind as you take him in. In fact, he takes the time to adjust his hair and fold his glasses, hooking them onto the collar of his jacket. He seemed so pleased, so proud of himself as he eyed you in return like a hunter in awe of his sizeable prey. After a minute or so, he was ready to control you again. "Eyes back to me, please." His nasal voice commands, and before you can even process his words, your eyes are trained on his once more. If you had much more room for thoughts, you'd panic at how obedient you'd become in the span of a few minutes. His next few words, however, fill your head completely. They seem to latch onto your soul, and quickly accommodate any space for rational thought.

"It's alright… Relax. You don't have to think too hard… In fact, you don't have to think at all. Just believe in me, trust in your superior. I doubt you'll be able to regret it…" his words consist of a mix between 'sneer' and 'gentle condolement' and to your shame, this seemed to be just what you'd craved. You still knew Wesker was an evil man, you remembered what he was capable of. He hadn't taken that from you yet, so why did you feel the way you did? You became aware of just how inviting his voice was. Even in its harsh and condescending moments, part of you believed you'd deserved it. You noticed the way you could catch glimpses of his dialated pupils just after he blinked each time before they narrowed again. You noticed the way in which you both drew breath at the same time, and you noticed just how oddly alluring he seemed to be. You wanted to collapse and fall into a deep sleep, and despite everything, wouldn't mind if it were his arms that you fell into.

ok!!!

That's part 2!

And it's all I got right now!

I hope you like it :<

#albert wesker imagine #albert wesker #albert wesker x reader #hypnotic #resident evil #re wesker #enemies to lovers #slow burn

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helping-online · 1 month

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Phone Addiction + How to Prevent It:

Listen, we all have phone addiction at some point or another, and it really isn't that good for you. Our world in this day and age relies on devices, but our mentality and our mental state doesn't. A lot of people who feel trapped in a situation or su1cidal link it back to lack of motivation, being on devices, lack of sleep/eating/hydration. So, here's the science behind it and how to try and stop that device addiction.

It feels really hard to stop, trust me I know, but after trying these things it has helped me feel better about myself and be really involved in the world and others.

Our phone is probably one of the easiest things to grab onto when we're bored or tired or can't sleep. We could stay under a blanket all day scrolling endlessly not doing anything. This is because the device needs to keep you on it for as long as possible. Apps, games, and the devices are built to cater to our needs easily. Why would we need to change that?

Here are some tips to stop that addiction:

. Watch the news or a documentary of something you're interested in. Music festivals, sports, activities, subjects. Anything to stop you scrolling.

. Turn your device to grayscale, then the colours wont be so bright and you wont get trapped as easily.

. Stop charging your phone by your bed.

. Put a downtime on, this can be done on android and apple devices. Make it 8:00AM to 10:00PM, so your phone locks at 10 and you can't use it.

. Do something productive. Start small to get out of that depression funk. Stop lying on the floor, put on some music, drink some water, stand up and stretch. Then slowly do little jobs here and there. It's scientifically proven that doing something small like taking a dish out of your room immediately makes you feel better, and makes you want to do more.

. Get active, there are happy hormones in our brain that release energy when we get our blood pumping!

. Find an alternative activity or hobby to do.

. Don't have your phone in your hand unless you're going somewhere or using it, keep it on charge during the day.

. Watch a comforting movie under a blanket.

. Put on phone time. If you spend six hours on your phone a day, make it five hours, then lower it by 15 minutes each day/week until you think you can control how much you use it.

. Get a loved one to change the password on it, this means you can't unlock it. This helps when you need a week off.

. Put a passcode on every app, this will make you realise how much you're using your device. "Oh I've opened tiktok this many times today".

. Check phone and device stats regularly and set goals for yourself.

. Make plans throughout the week so that you're too busy to use your phone.

. Get a watch to stop making excuses to check the time and see notifications.

PLEASE RE-BLOG AND GET THE MESSAGE OUT TO OTHERS!

Hopefully, this post has inspired you to control yourself and has made you aware of what you're doing right now. Maybe this post has inspired you to work on yourself? If so, check out the rest of my blog for more tips! Now, Get off Tumblr and start setting some goals! Goodluck!

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