Tips from an autistic teacher about communicating with education professionals

So, some context: I taught Primary for 1 year, and had lots of interactions with parents with all kinds of concerns about their kids. I also remember being in high school and college/university and being too nervous to approach my teachers/tutors with any problems I had until the situation was dire.

For those who don't work in education, I can appreciate how needing to speak to your child's teacher about something can be intimidating, especially if your and/or your child are neurodivergent. And if you are a student, it can be equally as scary.

It's true many teachers are overworked and underpaid, but the vast VAST majority would move heaven and earth to help you. However, there are lots of things you can do to help them to help you, so here are my top tips.

Tell them ASAP if there is a problem - alerting the teacher to a problem or concern as soon as it arises gives them the chance to nip it in the bud before it becomes a big deal. If there is a bullying concern or something you don't understand, they would much rather you told them straight away so they can do something about it than have you or your child suffering in silence for weeks or months. We are generally an observant bunch and are looking out for issues, but some things do fly under the radar. Even if it's not something they can do anything about straight away - like if you think your child is showing signs of autism or adhd but they mask heavily at school - they can bear this in mind and pass it onto other relevant members of staff so it is 'flagged' up for the future.

If your issue is complicated, be sure to put it in writing - chances are you have access to a messaging service or at least an email address. Even if you have raised your concern with the teacher face to face, having it in writing is helpful for both parties. It provides a record that the issue has been raised and passed along as appropriate, and it helps remind the teacher about what has been discussed so they don't end up forgetting about it among the million other things they have to do.

Be specific - it may seem obvious, but there is no point in having a casual chat and then throwing in a bombshell at the end. Make sure to give as much relevant detail as you can about what your issue is, and if you want to raise multiple concerns then it is doubly beneficial to put them in writing.

Think about what your desired outcome is and come with a proposed solution - this is a psychological thing, apparently, but people are more likely to be sympathetic to your concerns if you can demonstrate you have thought about how you would like it resolved. If you want your child put forward for an autism assessment, make sure you actually say this. If you know you are going to be late handing in an assignment but can give your teacher an alternative date you will hand it in, tell them this. I can't guarantee they will always be able to fulfil it, but knowing what you would like to change or happen makes it much easier to sort things out rather than just guessing.

IF THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL THAT'S HAVING A NEGATIVE IMPACT, TELL THEM!!! - I CANNOT stress this enough, especially when it comes to little ones or neurodivergent children who may have limited means of both communication and emotional regulation. Being hungry, tired, stressed etc can have an enormous impact on behaviour/ability to learn. Even a simple message or email giving the heads up your child has had a poor night's sleep because the house flooded or whatever and might be a bit grumpy that day can be a huge help to the teacher, who as a result of having this information will be in a better position to be patient with a child who is struggling. For bigger life changes such as divorce, birth of a new sibling etc, this is even more important so that your child's teacher and the school can, if necessary, put measures in place to support your child through this transition. Communication really is key.

Remember to be kind and considerate - teachers are humans and make mistakes like everyone else. Equally, there are many circumstances they have to deal with that are totally out of their control and frustrate them just as much as they do you. As I said at the beginning, the vast majority want to help you and/or your child in any way they can, and being kind can make what is a very stressful job just that little bit less.

So, there you have it! I hope these tips gave you an idea for how to communicate with teachers effectively.

Oh, here's 1 more bonus tip - if you have anything to ask that is more than just a quick question, be sure to schedule a meeting with the teacher to ensure they can devote enough time to deal with your issue. Catching them at the beginning or end of the school day generally isn't a good idea as they're very chaotic times and they likely have other meetings/appointments/deadlines they will be thinking about.

Your support is much appreciated xx

I thought this might be helpful to other autistic people;

tip for autistic people that hate mint toothpaste

ok i'm sharing this bc apparently it's more common than i thought and i'm not the only one who struggles w mint toothpaste bc it's too strong and it burns to the point of almost making u cry lol i'm not 100% sure if it's related to some sensitivity thing but i've seen a lot of autistic people experience it so

you can actually use kid's toothpaste, which often have much milder mint flavor or other flavors like bubblegum whatever, as long as it has 1450 ppm fluoride or more, this is very important. I checked w my dentist of couse and she said it's the minimum necessary to keep your teeth healthy

so far i've found two that meet the requirement (in my country but i bet in the US or other countries there's more options): sensodyne pronamel and aquafresh advance, both for kids

just make sure that they have the needed amount of fluoride like this:

if anyone with more odontology knowledge advices against it please do share your thoughts, for now w my dentist approval I'll keep using them, i struggled for years bc of the pain and only when i made the change i was able to make brushing my teeth part of my daily routine

i got this today on amazon and i’ve read a bunch of reviews and i genuinely think this could solve all of my sensory problems that make brushing my teeth such a nightmare

first off: it’s a gel consistency which is less gritty and does not irritate my teeth

it is also a similar formula as sensodyne or at least does the same stuff since it’s fluoridated, cavity preventing, strengthens enamel and is designed with sensitive teeth in mind but without some of the toxic stuff meaning that if you swallow it it’s not a big deal

the last thing i’ll mention is Flavor and Theme— it’s blue raspberry flavored which is my favorite candy flavor ever, also it’s themed after dragons and has a dissolvable food safe glitter to it! that’s so cool!!

if you’re like me and you have sensory issues that make you not want to brush your teeth, i highly recommend getting a flavored toothpaste and don’t worry if it’s labeled as “for kids” like this one is, because if you look at the ingredients and stuff that it’s designed for you’ll notice that adults need all of that too so it’s actually fine

there is a brand who makes flavored toothpastes aimed at adults called Hismile, which i will also recommend because:

- gel consistency

- pump packaging that’s slim and easy for travel

- same quality; fluoridated, meant for sensitive teeth, cavity prevention, enamel strengthening and non-toxic

anyways i hope this helps anyone else with sensory problems!!

Autistic Tips for Holidays

When people ask you about your well being during conversation you're supposed to ask about them in return

I'd someone compliments you you it is common to compliment them in return or bring up something you like about them

It is considered rude to point out others eating habits (chewing, diet, choice of food)

Correcting someones grammar/pronunciation is considered rude

Unwarranted Comments on others appearance such as weight, facial/body hair is considered rude (a good rule is if they can not fix it in five minutes do not comment on it)

If in a safe environment there is no need to feel ashamed of ticks or stimming it can be more overwhelming to hide them.

Take masking* (this is the act of concealing atypical traits and behaviors*) breaks a quick trip to the bathroom, your room, or a walk

Feel free to add more

Okay those are some things I felt/did before realizing I was probably autistic (please tell me if you did the same!)

- Always anxious, but no particular reason

- Making list of anything (like my top 100 favorite glee songs) and it being really important and fun to me

- Memorizing any song lyrics after just hearing it twice

- Not having a lot of friends cause "I look like a bitch"

- Not feeling my age, feeling too childish in comparison to others (turning 16 made me cry)

- Never knowing what to say, every conversation felt awkward

- Getting bored if someone try to talk to me about their interests or else, but feeling bad about it cause you really want to be interested

- Getting chills and nausea just thinking about a texture

- big gender crisis

- Always tired

I've been meaning to post about this. If you struggle to wash dishes because of the sensory input or because your bare hands have to touch gross stuff,, try gloves! And get ones that go further up the arm so you're not getting water in them. Mine are insulated which is nice but ngl idk what it does lol. But I do like that mine are thicker so I don't get as much anxiety about cutting them or myself and I don't have to worry about them ripping like you would with disposable/thinner ones.

Most of the time I just avoided doing dishes but now I don't have to which is cool. Means I can cook and bake more without worrying about how many dishes I'm making! It actually makes me so happy!! This is so helpful for my sensory processing disorder and my (relatively minor) contamination anxiety. I'm literally so happy I decided this was a good idea and didn't force myself to just "not make a big deal out of it" 🥲

Reminder that your needs are important and it's okay if they look different!! Do what's going to make it easiest for you! Just because you *can* do it the harder way doesn't mean you have to or should. You deserve to be able to use methods that work for you :)

ekk i'm hyperfixating (on hxh) and having trouble sleeping. like brain, why??? i need to be able to function in everyday life. we need to sleep. we need to eat. we can't just spend all day searching for every analysis on this anime!!

(also like any advice for how to deal with this would be appreciated tbh)

lil’ tip for people who are sensitive to smell, use aveeno’s lavender baby lotion

i use it daily on my skin, clothes (yeah yeah ik), but my favorite spot is right under my nose

whenever i either need to calm down, or try to clear the bad smell from my nose, i will put some lotion on my upper lip, then lift it up to my nose to completely fill my smelling senses full of lavender

it personally is one of my favorite and most effective coping mechanisms and has definitely prevented a lot of oncoming meltdowns

Short-cut phrases on my phone:

“Oh no my neurodivergent over-explaining is kicking in!!”

Tips for boosting driving confidence in Autistic people

For some autistic people, myself included, driving anxiety can be really detrimental to your ability to get around and be independent. However, this year (10 years after starting to learn and 9 years after passing my test lol), I have been working hard to improve my confidence and whilst I still have a ways to go, my anxiety isn't nearly as bad as it was and I've driven places I would never have dreamed of this time last year.

The following tips are aimed at autistic people, but I think they'll apply to anyone who considers themselves a nervous driver.

Practice makes perfect! - if something makes you super anxious, the natural thing to do is avoid it if at all humanly possible, right? Well, it might make you feel relief in the moment, but over time this just reinforces your anxious thoughts and can make it harder and harder to break the cycle. As much as it sucks, the key thing is to just. keep. driving. Start with just short journeys on familiar roads and build it up from there. The more situations you encounter the more your skills will improve. For various reasons - including issues with visual processing and sensory overload - it's natural that some autistic people take longer to feel comfortable and confident at doing something, so just keep working at it and you'll slowly but surely notice a difference.

Leave yourself plenty of time - being late is a massive trigger for me, so if I find myself in a situation where I have to drive somewhere in a tight time frame it really freaks me out. Give yourself plenty of time to get where you need to go, so you know you have wriggle room if there's unexpected road closures or if you make a wrong turn. This is especially important if you're going somewhere unfamiliar as you will probably already be anxious about this. Plus, if you arrive early you will have some time to regulate/decompress yourself in preparation for whatever you have planned.

Set out your boundaries - Ok driving alone but having people in car with you sends you into a flat spin? That's fine - say no to passengers for a while and then if you feel ready have a trial run with someone you know will be kind and supportive. Equally, if you find having someone in the car with you is reassuring, that can be a big help - just be sure they understand you are feeling anxious so they don't pressure you to go routes you aren't ready for. Also, some people are overconfident in their driving abilities and may try to get you to do things that are unsafe - don't listen to them! Trust your own judgement.

Set a goal - having something specific to work for can help motivate you and give you a measure of your confidence improving. Maybe you want to drive to an out of town shopping centre, or take a road trip with a friend? Just make sure your goal is realistic and you give yourself a big pat on the back once you achieve it.

Practice self compassion - driving is stressful for some people and that's totally ok. I've accepted that while I can safely get from A to B, I'm probably never someone who is going to want to drive for fun. Remember, you are in charge of your life, no one else. Whilst I'm ok driving short distances, if I have to go to another city I would always opt for public transport if at all available. I know it'll make the whole thing much less stressful for me (and is better for the environment, too). Also, if you've been trying for a while but driving just isn't for you, that's totally ok, too! It sucks that the way our society is built means not having access to your own car is inconvenient at best, but remember we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and deciding not to drive doesn't make you a failure. You can bet the minute I can get hold of a (reliable and affordable) self-driving car, my life will be made so much easier!

And there you have it! I do hope my tips brought you some comfort or reassurance if this is something you've been struggling with. Remember, these tips are what have helped me personally - I am not a driving (lol) or medical professional, and I certainly don't claim to speak for all autistic people.

Your support is hugely appreciated xx

Dear autistic friends:

Get yourself a seam ripper.

You probably know the struggle of cutting off a tag and there still being a little bit stuck on there. Or even worse sewn in tags that are still rough and bad touch. Seam rippers can take stuff like that off of your clothes without ripping holes in them. For real, using a seam ripper has saved me from never wearing clothes that I liked again, simply because I couldn't fully remove the tag.

getting a tattoo with sensory issues

Is self diagnosing myself with autism a valid way of diagnosing?

Im pretty good at masking so i’ve never have been checked on stuff like this. But i always new something was different about me and i started to research about it on the internet im quite sure im autistic though i dont know 100% . I live in a country where being diagnosed with something like this equates to being stupid etc and mom has a very narrow mindset about mental health & autism and think it means that person is an idiot. So i cant really tell her. So i have to wait until im an adult to really go to an doctor but i really want to be sure about what i am so is there any good tests on the internet that could diagnose??

Hey

Does anyone have any hacks for when you phenomenally unproductive due to breaking routine?

I am talking about situation when something is not ideal, you can't do thing in exactly the way you deem necessary or generally feeling lost after ruined plans. I somehow losing spoons in process

I thought about maybe try to set up routine for breaking routine, but idk.

Maybe you have actual experience, not just theories.