#and this is coming from someone who it’s super convenient for English to be spoken since it’s the only one I know and my way of watching | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tracle0 · 2 years

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hey hi, happy storyteller satursunday! I remember you posting a super neat ramble a while back about TSS and language? among other things you mentioned you were telling the story as a translator! I was wondering if there are any fun language facts you can tell me about how things might differ between original and translation? would there be certain untranslatable concepts? any odd idioms or phrases that pop up that we might not be familiar with? anything that might get lost in translation and require a footnote or two? :P or maybe in general, 'cause you talked about uhhhh potentially having spoken differences between spider and Spider for instance - any other funky little twists like that for how language operates? ok bye have a lovely day xoxoxo

Hi hello! Read this yesterday and went “oh boy” so that’s a good reaction! Sunday now! Hi!

So mmm yeah! The way I approach TSS and TCD is as a translator - but it’s more for convenience than anything? If I were to try to make up new weekdays and units of measurements and swears and numbers constantly, it’d be hard to follow the story because you’re juggling all these essentially useless facts.

Like. Sure, it’s cool to know that “Jyipday” originated as a tribute to the Rabbit for whatever reason, but it’s not necessary to the plot. So to make it easier and to stop myself from going “hey why would they have Thursday without Norse mythology” I just approach the entire story as if I’m translating it into normal English.

I can totally tell you some cool language bits though lmao I have a grand total of four (4) idioms that I’ve come up with since starting this.

First of all, if you were to think someone were lying to you, you might accuse them of “spitting Spiders” on account of the Spider being the god of lying. Not many people believe it’s hugely active in the world they’re wrong but they’re aware of it enough to assume all lies stem back to it.

Example in a sentence: “Can you believe that asshole looked me in the eye and said that? Spitting Spiders the whole time, I’m telling you.”

Second; if someone were to be a bit of a daydreamer or be a bit drifting in terms of attention, you could claim they were “dancing with the Magpie” - also possible as specific forms of dancing, eg: waltzing, tangoing, fukkin,,, rocking, idk, I’m a writer not a dancer. The Magpie is the god of sleep and dreams so. Yeah. Pretty self explanatory.

Example: “Dannels a good kid. Very sharp, very articulate, but he dances with the Magpie a bit too much to be the perfect student.”

Third - if you damage your nail enough that it starts to turn black (either marginally with blood trapped under it or entirely as to fall off) you’d diagnose it was a “Foxes claw” - the Fox is the god of perception, but when it sponsors people, it gives them black nails, just to mark them out really. You do not get magic if you damage your nail. You just get a damaged nail.

Example: “Yeah, the fall was pretty bad, but I’m not too hurt. Bit of a headache and a Foxes claw, nothing to worry about.”

Fourth and finally, if someone were to hyper-fixate in something, be consumed on a new topic or medium or idea to the point of obsession, you could say they were “answering the Salmons lure” (or yknow just diagnose them with ADHD or autism but whatever man). The Salmon is the god of determination, and although it doesn’t sponsor anyone, it’s often assumed that those who work tirelessly on one thing/hyper-fixate are blessed by it.

This mostly came about cause I was like hey why is there rarely if ever any mental illness in fantasy. Fuck that let’s make an idiom

Example: “I’ve not actually seen Nara for about three days. She comes down in the night for food and water, but I think she’s been pulled in by the Salmons lure again”

None of these have come up in story yet, but maybe soon. Maybe maybe.

In terms of how language exists! Re: Spider/spider/liar as different words, I’m. Mm. Settled in most places. I’d like to maybe make up specific swears and curses. I’ve been avoiding using things like “Jesus Christ!” As an exclamation cause that would imply the existence of Christianity and I do not want that.

Oh that’s a tangent actually. Religion! In world, there’s some specificity about what makes up a god - most people may accept that the gods they have are gods, but some disagree. A god has to be all powerful, and the gods they have are not - they’re limited to specific domains like sleep or heat or biology. Therefore, they are not gods. Some decide there is another, higher being above the gods they know that is a true, capital-G God, that gave the other gods their magic. Some assume it means there are no actual gods.

This is the conclusion Andy eventually reaches in TCD. The man really encounters the god of death in person and decides “nah you ain’t shit”

On! The topic of Andy, I’ll mention accents too! Glalis has a very distinct accent that’s mostly informed by the environment - because they live in a cave, there’s a need to keep their voices quiet, to prevent a horrible echo from breaking their ears constantly. The Glalis accent achieves this, hushing the harsh sounds like D or T or CH and keeping the voice soft. I personally am very happy with it

Atlas also has a fun voice but that’s not really any language or accent thing, just a hangover from original Sonder, and tiny tiny me going “well they’re not a girl or a boy, so what kind of voice would they have?” Two voices is apparently the answer, one high, one low, harmonising to make their words. They are an excellent mimic.

Maybe a good time to mention that the main characters names might not… actually be their names?

I mean, the main offender is Atlas tbh. Much like Norse mythology does not exist in TSS, neither does Greek mythology, which is the root of their name, with the titan who holds up the sky. I could brush it aside as “atlas” having another origin as a word…

Or I could be difficult about it!

See I know their name would have to be something map related - specifically because Sam comments on it at one point. I could brush it aside as their name sounding like whatever the god of the planet or earth or fakkin… mapmaking is, but I can’t see the Spider letting one of its servants be named after another god. I could also give “map” a proper translated word, work from there to condense it into a potential name, and then claim I was translating “map” from whatever this word is, and “Atlas” as a result of the similarity.

Or.

I could just.

Let their name be Atlas.

And stop overthinking this so much lmao

#TSS #asks #STS #thank you kindly for the question I was thinking about it for a lot of yesterday #The general and condensed answer is that no language has not been implemented a lot in tss #For the simple fact that I’m lazy and language creation is not a part of writing that I enjoy a lot #I mean I do sometimes but often for a little funny moment #Like there’s a city called Ooking that is called Ooking cause my friend spelt “cooking” wrong and I thought it looked funny #Other times I just make up words to be locations. Teekon. Glalis. Just nonsense words #But I do overthink things behind the curtain. Would they know what X concept is without Y history.#Would they call this style by its recognised name if the historical context behind it didn’t exist #It’s something I’d like to address more at a later point maybe but. Yknow. Still actually trying to write TCD so?#Hey there’s some good news - I’ve got a new potential approach for TCD that I’m trying. Wish me luck I want it to go well #It’s a wild experiment and I approached it with “this is probably not going to work so whatever”#Which is how I end up striking gold I think. Assume no one will ever read it and be self indulgent as much as possible.#Wish I could turn that setting in my brain on and off as desired lmao #anyway yeah language! The same amount of thought has gone into Sam and Andy and Dollys names as well #Andy will always be Peep I will not change that #Can Dolly be Cardinal? That’s a whole ass bird yo #Is Samantha allowed? Hell if I know #Goes into the Crow having a new name and wondering if a crow would have a different word to dictate it #But. Mm. General answer: these things do not affect the plot. I am not commanded by the plot #I enjoy the stupid tangents as much as anyone else but there is a line of “this is fun and I’ll let it continue”#And “this is now a headache to think about and actively detracts from understanding the story so I will not entertain”#Oh hey since I started maybe trying to write TCD again I’ve been seeing SO many spiders #I will not detail cause I know you don’t like them but. I’m being targeted I think. Damn arachnid.#I also had. Thoughts about Glalis history and how that dictates what they do in the current day. Maybe a ramble for later #It talks about how the kingdom was founded and the fact they have a god right there who rarely does anything and why not #Anyway! I’m gonna get some breakfast now. Thank you for the brain teaser! Love you mwah many happy wishes on your day

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themanip · 3 years

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yellow roses

⤳ blurb: lee felix and his seven friends are chosen to go to america and attend a private high school. with only three able to speak english fluently, they get assigned another student to help them navigate american high school. they quickly come to realize that the sweet girl who speaks korean is much more than who she shows during school hours.

⤳ pairing: lee felix + willow arroyo ⤳ genre: romance, coming of age, drama, fluff, eventual smut, very angsty ⤳ warnings: chan being super sweet, cursing, mentions of bullying, not much to worry about this chapter ⤳ word count: a little over 3.1k

"Can you turn that music down, please?"

Ronnie tapped her shoulder softly, which surprised the young girl. Swiveling around and yanking a headphone out of her ear, she crinkled her eyebrows at the balding man. "Sorry?"

"Can you turn it down? It's so loud I can hear it," her manager stared at her with blank eyes, and she nodded gently. Pulling her left hand from the swamp of dishes and dirty water, she dried her hand on her apron, and clicking the volume button to a lower setting. "I get it, Winnie. It's not the greatest job in the world, and you wanna listen to music and your grumpy manager is being an ass," she let out a soft chuckle at his words.

"I'm sorry, Ron. I don't mean to be an ass, I'm just exhausted."

"It's alright, I get it. I worked like you did when I was your age, and I know how much it sucked. It was just better for me because I got paid double what you do," he smiled softly, clapping his hands together.

"Minimum wage is no laughing matter, Ronnie. I eat one-fifth of a lemon bar for lunch everyday," she eyed him fake angrily, and his eyes softened. "Really?"

"No, what the hell," she laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. "Usually it's a bagel or something,"

"Okay," he sighed softly, taking his cap off and running his hands through his hair. "If you wanna close up a bit earlier, I can come in at five instead of seven,"

Her hands halted as she scrubbed a plate, and she smiled gently. "No, it's okay," she finished washing the last dish, and set it on the drying rack. "You have Eliot now, and I'm sure Olivia isn't getting much sleep without you home during the night, so go home, and take care of your son,"

She melted at the thought of his newborn son, and how beautiful he is. She wasn't extremely good with children, but babies made her absolutely swoon. She also knew how hard newborns were to deal with, and having Ron not home to help probably made things hell for his wife, Olivia.

"You sure?"

One solid nod and a tired grin sent Ronnie on his way home, knowing he would recieve a full night's sleep. Despite the intense amount of work, she loved the diner. It was always warm, she always had at least one plate of food if she needed it, and Ronnie cut her a lot of slack.

She dried her hands off on her apron once more, and headed to the front of the restaurant near the island of stools. It was past midnight now, and occasionally there were some older customers who came in drunk, or just got off work. It seemed to be a quiet night, so she figured it wouldn't be too bad if she took a quick pee break.

On the other end of the diner were the restrooms, and she scrambled over there. Her footsteps and the dark shadows in the bathrooms often creeped her out, she went in, did her business, and left. Once she opened the door, she spotted two bewildered teenage boys at the front door, looking around with wide eyes.

"Hey, are you guys open? I saw it said twenty-four hours but—"

He had an Australian accent, and it made Willow purr on the inside. "Yes! Yes we are, I'm sorry," she sighed in embarassment, and rushed to the front of the diner. Her boots, which usually help her feet with the consistent standing, are now a nuisance as she stumbles across the floor.

"Oh no worries, we know it's kind of late,"

As Willow stumbled next to the boy, who she now saw another boy standing next to him with red cheeks. His accent was beautiful, she thought. He was also inhumanely good looking. The one who'd spoken to her had darker brown hair, on the wavier side. He had a larger nose, and his lips were quite full. He was beautiful.

The other one stood silent, and Willow smiled and held menus. "Booth or do you wanna sit at the island?"

"Uh, booth please," the brunette spoke up once more, and she silently led them to a booth that was clean and somewhat in the middle of the restaurant. Gentle background music filled the silence, and all that was heard was soft scuffling as the two boys followed the only girl working.

She sat them down, and the other blonde boy smiled sheepishly. "Here are your menus, can I get you something to drink first?"

"Can I get a coke, please?"

That time, it was the boy who'd she never heard speak. His voice was deeper, almost curiously soft. The brunette spoke once more, "Do you have tea?"

"Of course, sir. Unsweetened or sweetened?"

"Oh, sweetened please," he nodded thoughtfully, smiling. "I will be right back with your drinks, take a look over the menu and you can let me know what you want at your earliest convenience," Willow smiled genuinely, and she bowed slightly. She didn't even mean to, she just felt odd alone, at midnight, with two teenage boys in her diner.

"She called you sir, Chan," the blonde boy whispered to the one opposite him, this Chan character. "She's really nice, we have to leave a good tip," Chan responded, and that's all Willow managed to hear before she started making their drinks.

The next hour or so dragged on, with Chan, Willow, and the other figure, whom she'd learn is Felix, and her coming back and forth to collect orders, serve seconds, cook said seconds, and giving refills. Each time, Chan would apologize for inconveniencing her as if it wasn't her job, and she would smile softly. She could tell that he would never be rude to fast food workers or people just intending to do their job.

Usually, there would be a chef, or at least someone who can cook, and at least one other person working. The past few weeks had been Willow mostly by herself, picking up extra shifts, and as long as it wasn't busy, she could manage cooking and waittressing. She got paid double time, and she picked up overtime on days where Ron did not want to come in early. He also didn't want to burden Helena, one of his other over-nighters, who'd just gotten back on her feet after a house fire.

She wasn't a bad cook, and she was quick on her feet. She could hold down her own, and Ronnie knew that. Hence he trusted her with his entire diner, on most nights, and to hold the fort down. She would now easily bring home paychecks over a grand, with taxes taken out every week. As her two very cute customers continued eating their seconds, she scribbled messily on her notepad on the counter.

She stood on the inside of the island counter, and was counting expenses. She had a lot of shit to worry about, bills included. Gas, electric, dog food, groceries. She could take maybe three hundred dollars off her bill fund thanks to her mother, but it still didn't help in the scheme of things.

Frustrated, she scribbled out her list. She had to worry about this later, there was no need to worry before she got her paycheck. Her eyes felt heavy, and she tried to rub the sleepiness from them. She had at least five more hours before she could even think about leaving, and she still had to clean this place from top to bottom.

"Do you think we could get the check, please?"

Chan's timid voice broke her from her daze, and her face reddened in embarassment. She had forgotten they were here. Setting her pen down hastily, she shuffled over to grab the printed out receipt, and held it tightly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to zone off like that," she set the check down, and took notice of their neatly stacked plates with silverware crossed on top. Her cleanup would be very easy, and she absolutely loved when she had customers like this. "Oh, no worries," Chan smiled and eyed the check. "Is it okay if I take these?"

Pointing towards the stack of plates, the other boy, Felix, quickly grabbed them and handed them to her. Underneath the plates, their fingers touched briefly. A sheepish smile followed from both, and she quickly scurried to put the plates in the dishwasher. All she had to do was get them checked out, clean the three plates, clean the milkshake cups, the soda cups, and sweep. Some general maintenance, and if nobody else came in, she was in for a decent night.

"Hey, you didn't charge us for the milkshakes," Chan mentioned softly, slight accusatory tone. "They're on the house," Willow smiled back from the bar island, and Chan cocked his head in confusion, "if that's okay,"

"That's really kind, thank you," once again, a gentle, dimple-filled smile from Chan, and a sheepish, red-cheeked one from Felix. She wished to hear the blonde boy speak again, his voice so rich, so deep. He seemed sweet.

Her first thought was that they were boyfriends. It angered her, but only in a way that two of the cutest guys she'd possibly ever seen were together. It was adorable, to say the least. Little did she know, they were definitely not together.

Willow came to collect the money, and Felix stared up at her. "Are you from around here?"

Her eyes widened, and her mind went blank. That was usually how someone asked if she would be missed had she been kidnapped. "That sounded really creepy, I'm sorry," he clarified, and she loosened her shoulders a bit, "We are new to town, and we don't know where Glarien Avenue is. We just moved in, and can't find our way back. The GPS says the street doesn't exist," he finished quickly, and she nodded gently, deciding on whether or not to tell him.

"Oh, uh," she bit her lip, "the street got a new sign on accident, and the GPS or whatever national database that programs the information never got updated, I guess. If you pull out of here, take a left and go forward like three-ish blocks. There's gonna be a bright yellow house, and once you see that turn right, and then take a sharp right again and if you just keep going down you should see Glarien. If you get lost, just come back,"

It took only five minutes for the two Australian boys to clear out, and for Willow to finally take a breath. As she took care of all of the dishes, she went for the check last. Their total was somewhat cheap, twenty-three dollars, for two full meals, two sodas, a sweet tea, and extra sides of fries.

As she counted out the money, she was thoroughly confused. There were two twenties, and two fives. There was fifty dollars here, and their meal was less than thirty. On the check was a small note.

Really good food, really good service. We hope you have an amazing night, and whatever is left after our tab is paid is yours. Thank you!

An exasperated sigh left her mouth, and she sat in the booth where the two boys sat. Staring at the money in front of her, her chest felt heavy. All of her emotions poured out, and the thought that a strangers kindness' brought her to tears was shameful yet elating. That would be three less hours she would have to work, three more hours of sleep, or soccer practice, or studying. More time to not stress over bills.

She sat there for a few minutes, breathing in and out, as deep as she could. Wiping her face of any tear remnants, she stood up, collecting the money in hand. As she eyed the clock, she sighed inwardly. It was only 2 AM.

A little less than five hours later, she was walking into the doors of LaPrine High School, with at least two hundred other students. For seven in the morning, teenagers were pretty damn annoying. Squeals and loud murmurs was everything that she could hear, and it made her turn her headphones up louder.

For a private school full of snobby inbreds, there were some okay kids there. Most of them were the scholarship kids, who'd had their fares paid for, like Willow. If someone found out that you were a scholar student, you'd immediately be laughed at and taunted. She managed to keep hers a secret, though. She excelled, and she made sure to throw in an occasional snicker when needed to prove she was just one among the bunch.

She wasn't popular by any means, but everyone knew her. She was a suck up, that was for sure. Every teacher liked her, her grades were impeccable, and she was an all-star soccer player. She managed to have better stats than Ian Rewns, the past all star soccer legend, and he wasn't even a midfielder.

She also was known to stay pretty quiet, and to herself socially. She had a few casual friends, some classmates she talked to, but nobody really close. She was okay with that, she was pretty busy anyways. She had school from eight in the morning to three, then soccer practice from four to six-thirty, and if there wasn't a game, she'd go home around seven, and at eleven she would go work the graveyard shift at the diner. On average, she'd get four to five hours of sleep. Friends, or a social life, just take away from that time.

As she stopped at her locker to pull out her textbooks, she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Ms. Arroyo," it was her principal, Mrs. Samson. "Can you come with me, please?"

It was only two weeks into the school year, so there wasn't much she could get in trouble for. Maybe it was to rearrange her classes? No, every class she had was only alotted for that specific hour, there was no way. Her tuition? God, she hoped not.

"How are your classes so far?" as they rounded the office hallway, Mrs. Samson was making casual conversation. The clicking of her heels intimidated Willow a bit, but she'd known her for over a year. She wasn't as scary as everyone made her out to be. "They're good, I just finally settled in,"

"I know this year seems like it may be hard, but by the looks of your GPA next year, I think you'll be satisfied with it." Praise made Willow purr like a kitten, and her entire body tingled at the realization that this probably wasn't bad.

"Me too," she replied softly, and Mrs. Samson held the door to her office open for her, and they stepped in. Her office was tidy, shades of light blue and gray, and was a little too cold for Willow's liking. "Come and take a seat, hun,"

Unsure still, she took a seat. Her back didn't touch the seat, her anxiety from not knowing why she was there overtaking her comfortability. "You're not in trouble, don't worry," the older woman smiled at her as she took her own seat opposite her desk.

"So, I know you are a busy girl," she looked at her with eyes of compassion, and a soft smile decorated her face. "I have a proposition for you," she continued.

"Do you happen to remember when you did student tours for the incoming freshman?" Her first year at LaPrine, she was allowed to do student tours as community service hours for NHS. She was actually so good at it, and the organization of it, that she got to do it again this summer, and handled it all by herself without any staff. It was pulled off effortlessly.

"Of course, this year too," Willow nodded in agreement, and she waited for the woman to continue. "Well, if you agree to help me for a while this year, I will make sure all of your community hours are taken care of, and anything else you need help with will be considered done,"

Willow wanted her to get to the point.

"What is it?"

"Remember on your National Honor Society resume, you said you're bilingual and speak more than just English? You weren't lying, right?"

Willow laughed so hard she nearly bust a lung, and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. "Mrs. Samson, my last name is Arroyo. But of course, I can speak more than just Spanish, though,"

"You listed Korean, correct?" she eyed a piece of paper, which was most likely her aforementioned resume.

"Yeah, I can speak it somewhat fluently, and I can read Hangul well, I sometimes have trouble writing it, though. I don't imagine I'll be writing Korean letters, will I?" Willow's Hangul was absolutely preposterous, any native Korean would agree.

"No, that's silly," The elder crossed her hands together, and leaned forward. "Starting tomorrow, we have eight foreign exchange students coming from Korea, and you are an exemplar student who also happens to speak said language. One is a native English speaker, and two others speak it fluently. The rest can manage only a conversation or two, so you can understand our worry. I'm sure it would be nice for them to have a friend as well,"

"For the rest of the year?"

"Yes, but I'm sure that they'll manage to speak more fluently as the year progresses," and Willow shook her head, "I'm not worried about the language, I just don't know how that would work,"

"How so?"

"Well, are they all girls? Are they boys? Is it a mix? And won't their classes be much different than mine?"

"They're all boys, ranging from sophomore to seniors, and they're super sweet. Very respectful boys, from what I hear. I promise you, I will make it worth it if you help me out, and at least be a friend and reliable student to these boys. And no, they will not all have the same classes as you, but it will probably be courses you have taken, save for the seniors."

"I will also put in a good word for you to Mr. Ramirez, and how that head position on the team should be an exemplar student and player," she mentioned the soccer coach, and Willow cringed inwardly. She hadn't spoke Korean, in full length sentences, in over a year. She could remember it, but she'd be rusty.

"Okay, but you owe me one. No, more like eight; you owe me eight, Mrs. Samson."

"Deal. Come in tomorrow early if you can, and you can give them the tour. I will be here as well, so if you want to meet me in the cafeteria, I will bring you coffee."

"I like my coffees with extra creamer and sugar."

"Done."

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raschuuuu · 3 years

Text

WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME BACK? // M.YG angst (Suga)

Summary: You finally had your debut with your girl group with Big Hit entertainment. That was your absolute biggest dream but what happens when you have to decide now? Do you want to live your idol life and let the love of your life go for it? Or do you decide for the life of your life?

Word count: 5k

Genre: angst

warnings: established relationship / swearing / soft yoongi / mentioning of breakups / mentioning of suicide/death

Pairing: Yoongi!idol x female idol!reader

A/N: Hello guuuuys! Today I hope very much that you will like this one here! I didn't get any requests so I want to say it again one more time: FEEL FREE TO SEND ME YOUR REQUESTS!!! 😟🥺It’s my second fanfic on this blog I worked very hard on it so I really really hope you guys will enjoy it. If you guys think I could do anything better or you have another preferences please let me know. I’d be very happy if you guys leave a like so I know you read it and liked it. Another note: English is not my first language I’m very sorry if you guys find any mistakes.. 💔

_____________________________________________________________________________

5th December 2020

What could be better than having a debut just before the year ends? My group and I were supposed to have our debut much earlier but that was postponed due to the COVID pandemic so it was complicated to have a debut this year but nevertheless our company managed to give us a debut before the year ends and I really have to say it's the best thing that could ever happen to me!

My dream has finally come true. How long was I a trainee? Exactly. Six years. Six freaking years I was hidden behind the scenes of my big and famous company. It feels really shitty to be in the shadow of two famous groups in South Korea. Don't get me wrong I'm a really big fan of BTS and TXT but we got tired of being told that we're going to make our debut but at the end we didn’t. I know the guys from BTS and TXT personally and we all get along super well even the other members of my group. But to be honest BTS and TXT couldn't wait for our debut to happen and finally it's here (y/g/n) finally gets the recognition.

31st December 2020

Of course our lives have changed dramatically since we made our debut. Of course it's much harder to go out alone now than before. Before I was a nobody. No one knew me but now I don't even dare to go alone to the convenient store that is just around the corner of our dorm. You might think I'm exaggerating a bit but no, unfortunately it's the truth. Nevertheless, I don't want to spoil my idol life. After our debut we had a lot of promotions and interviews. But even before that we didn't have much time because we had to shoot our music video and photo shoots and we were all sent to the hairdresser because our old look was officially bye bye. I’m happy with my new look I think I look so beautiful I can't believe what a haircut and a nice makeup can do to a person.

Today is the 31st of December. New Year's Eve! New year takes place in less than 24 hours! Where am I? I'm at this year's MBC Gayo DaeJeon. My first new year's eve without my family and officially my first new year's eve as an idol. I'm so excited I can't believe it I'm going to be on stage with my girls and I'm meeting other idols how exciting is that. I'm sitting in the makeup room getting my makeup done by our makeup artist and on the side our hairstylist is making me a high ponytail. I hope I'll look good. Dabi, the oldest of our group and therefore our Unni, has just finished and looks adorable. Miso sits to my left and is also getting her make-up and hair done. Hyemi is getting ready after me because she doesn't take up much time. She has the shortest hair of all of us. I’m sitting with my mobile phone in my hand and texting with my mother. Sometimes I wish I could be with her and with my father and my siblings. I miss them all like hell. I haven't seen them since before our debut. I can't wait to hold them all in my arms next time.

(eomma):

y/n we miss you! New year's eve isn't the same without you but hopefully you'll have fun on stage today. We'll all be watching you! Your dad and I your grandparents and your siblings so don't worry we're always with you! Good luck my child fighting! 🎉🎆

I notice how i get tears in my eyes but no I mustn't cry my makeup gets ruined. Just as I want to answer my mother i get a new text on my phone.

(yoongi):

I'm excited to see you tonight! You'll be great I believe in you.

By the way... I guess I didn't tell you that I'm dating Min Yoongi. That's right, Min Yoongi.

flashback

2014

"Y/n! We're about to meet BTS!" says Hyemi as I just walked into the dance practice room. What BTS? The group that made their debut last year? "Really why?" I ask looking at her confused. Apparently all new trainee male or female, are introduced to BTS because they want to give us some nice words and encouragement on our way as trainees. Just as I was about to sit down, the seven men came in the door. One after the other, they passed us by. Wow, these guys can count themselves lucky that their time is up. But one boy in particular stands out to me. He has red hair. Not too light and not too dark, a red that almost goes brown. He is beautiful.

I haven't really informed myself about who BTS is, of course I still have difficulties to remember their names, I just became a trainee before I didn't care who was a trainee here... but this man is beautiful!

Oh crap he looks at me. Why is he looking at me. Someone tell him to look the other way please I’m so awkward I don't know how to act when someone looks at me I better look the other way. The leader said some nice words to us they all wished us luck and said that they can't wait for us to make our debut and that when the day comes they're all gonna be happy and supportive! Really nice of them I never thought that they would do something like that. We all got up and bowed and said thank you, while BTS was about to walk out I saw the red haired boy looking at me one last time before he went out. Crazy man do I have something on my face stop staring!

2015

I started to get to know them better each and every one of them. I get along best with Hoseok and Taehyung. Every now and then we run into each other in the building and talk for a few minutes. We trainees also got to meet all the guys in person, they are all so nice and down to earth I don't regret it one bit that I joined this company! Jungkook is about my age and every now and then we have a few laughs together. Once you are in the company you are like one big family whether it is with the trainees or the staff. However I have not been able to get close to one person and that is Min Yoongi. I don't know what it is but every time he and I are in a room with other people it just gets awkward. I don't know what it is but every time he is near me I feel intimidated and just want to get out of there. We've never spoken a word to be honest maybe it's because he feels awkward around me too? I can't understand why he feels this way I always try to get along with everyone even if i don't want to and make everyone feel comfortable around me because I want it to be mutual. So what's his problem?

2016

I have heard from his members that he has a crush on me and gets shy around me which I totally don't understand because how can anyone be into me? Especially back then! I don't want to go into too much detail but I can tell you that after a while and with the help of Hoseok and Taehyung he and I started texting at some point. We had been friends for a long time but only online. We were both too nervous to meet in person and to be honest that had been impossible because he was busy as fuck and no one was supposed to find out that we were texting. BTS recognition grew more and more each year and he became busier and busier each day. I was of course very happy for everyone and one rainy day in the evening Yoongi appeared out of nowhere on my doorstep and confessed his love to me. I am still overwhelmed by it and it all feels so unreal and like it just happened yesterday, but I went for it and agreed to be his girlfriend.

back to December 31st 2020

For four years we have been hiding our relationship. Nobody knows about it the whole Big Hit staff doesn't know about it and neither do our managers the only ones who know about it are his members and recently my members. I didn't want to tell them until we made our debut together because I was too scared of being told off during my trainee time. But I have to say that the girls stand behind me and accept our relationship and they all swore they would take it to the grave with them.

I quickly turn down the brightness of my screen because there's too much danger of my hairstylist and makeup artist reading the text. I close my phone and put it on my lap. How much I want to answer him but I don't dare I can't answer him when there are too many people around me. After a while we were called and it was finally our turn I'm so nervous but we managed it all with flying colors and we were the topic of the evening.

In a few minutes it's already new year I'm ready and let 2021 come to me. At midnight Yoongi calls me and I answer the phone with joy.

"Happy new year y/n! I love you and I hope we will spend more time together this year even though it will be harder now." I smile to myself and say "Happy new year Yoongi... how is your shoulder? Are you resting enough? Are you eating enough? Are you sleeping enough? Are you in pain? If you are in pain then take a painkiller and go back to the doctor!" I can't see it but I can tell he is grinning and shaking his head. I don't let him get a word in edgewise.

"Don't worry I’m fine I just miss you you're the only painkiller I can take" - "Hahaha yah! You're so corny! I miss you too sweetheart I wish we had spent this new year together... I’m sorry it turned out like this!" I feel really bad because I know he won't be able to spend new year with his boys or me... To be honest we have never had a new year together except on the phone but this time it could have worked out! He is at home with his injury and if we wouldn't have had our debut then we would have had a first new year together after four years of relationship!

January 10th 2021

At the beginning of the new year our manager gave us our schedule plan at it looked hella busy! This whole January we would be completely busy we don't even have one weekend off! I can’t believe it how will I able to see my family or even Yoongi? I saw him at the first weekend of January we spent it together at his family’s house in Daegu behause to be honest that is actually the only place that we can go to a little far away from Seoul without having to worry that any of the staff could know or see us. My family also knows and loves him to death but with my family living in Seoul it’s complicated to take him there. Our manager left the room and I looked at Dabi with the ‘You and I bathroom NOW!’ look she understood and got up from her place and she followed me to the bathroom. We checked if any other person was inside when there wasn’t I said “What the fuck I’m I gonna do now Unni? How am I able to see Yoongi? How will I be able to even go out. I won’t even have time to take the fucking trash out from our dorm when it’s my turn to clean!” I yell. She stands there giving me a confused look. “What do you expect y/n? You chose to have this idol life you know its busy and complicated to have a boyfriend especially as a fresh debuted idol! Why do you think they won't let us have a relationship? I wish I could help you but I can’t. We’re gonna be busy as fuck!” she yelled back. “Psh shut your volume down unni!” she opened the door to see if there was anyone outside but there wasn’t.

I feel bad I really do. I don't want my members to be in trouble because of me that's the last thing I want. I hug her and apologize to her. I have to think of something I don't know what to do. I don't want us to be away from each other for too long what happens when he stops loving me all of a sudden? What do I do when he goes back to work then it will all be worse! Before I became an idol we could always see each other at the end of the day but now it will be impossible. I have to talk to him about it because one thing we promised each other is that we talk about everything because that's the only way a healthy relationship can work and such a complicated relationship we both have. I take out my phone and write him a message.

(me):

Yoongi. Tonight FaceTime date you and me?

In less than two minutes I already get my answer.

(yoongi):

of course!

evening

I turn on my MacBook and call him on FaceTime. After three rings he answers the phone and turns it off too so he doesn't have to hold it in his hand. He still has his bandage on and his hair is wet he must have been in the shower. He wears cute pyjamas and fight me or not but black haired Yoongi is the most beautiful Yoongi. I always fall in love again when I see him. Hard to believe we were so awkward with each other back then but this year is already approaching 5 years together. I could never imagine my life without him.

"Hey my darling" he says happily and smiles at me. I smile back and ask him how he is. He tells me that he is getting better every day and that during his time off he has found a lot of time for himself and his music and how much he misses the others. And me too, of course. "What's wrong with you?" he asks me when he notices that my mind is somewhere else. I think he took the Facetime date too seriously. He be sitting there with his cup of ramen. I just laugh. "Yoongi... I'm going to be busy all of January and manager oppa said that February might not be any better," I say and wait for his answer. He swallows his noodles and drinks a glass of water. "Does that mean we won't see each other this month?" he asks. I think he's a little disappointed I know him and I know his tones and his looks and I can hear my heart breaking by now. And how much I'd like to see you Yoongi. Every second every day. "No," I say, and then an uncomfortable silence descends.

“You know what baby it’s fine don't worry. I mean I wasn’t any better back then do you remember when I always used to be so busy? I never had time for you and I felt so bad. But you were there for me and you stayed by my side and you were and still are the most supportive girlfriend I could ever ask for. I think it would be unfair to be mad at you. I’m happy for you forever and always” well that was unexpected. I start getting tears in my eyes. I didn't think of this reaction not at all! I smile at him and say “Thank you baby... I will appreciate it I really do. But still I feel bad because especially in this period where you're sick I wish I could be there for you and take care of you. This debut was so unexpected I’m really sorry” - “Yah don't be sorry y/n. You worked your goddamn fine ass off to be where you're at right now be proud of you this is just the beginning. And it’s not like that we won't see each other ever again right?” he says. He’s right. He’s totally right. It’s not like we won't see each other ever again.

January 17th 2020

Well... seven days passed and we still haven't seen each other and we haven't talked since one week. We text every now and then cause I really only get to use my phone when it's night and we go back home but every night I'm so damn exhausted and tired that I forget to answer to his texts. I don't even have time to text my parents back or my siblings. I feel so bad I'm such a bad person. I miss them all so much. I miss my parents. I miss my sister and my brother. I miss my grandparents. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my boyfriend so damn much. I really didn't think this life is gonna be so hard for me. I feel like I've been put in the middle of a scale with my career on one side and my relationship on the other side and I have to choose one side or the other. I've never thought about breaking up with Yoongi ever in my life. Never. I just can't. I need this man too much. Even though we never have the most beautiful and perfect relationship and see each other very rarely, it's just the thought that I know there's someone in my life who loves me and accepts me for who I am that counts. He took me with my imperfections he put his career what he loves most in his life in risk to be with me and now that we are both in this situation I don't know what to do I feel bad and selfish for even thinking about it I don't want to make him feel like my career is more important than him or our relationship he doesn't deserve that he deserves the world and he deserves to be happy. But I love my career I love my job I love my members I love our staff I love our fans. Our biggest fear was not being accepted by the society outside especially now in this period when BTS is one of the biggest groups in the whole world and have a very big influence in the KPOP industry. We were afraid that society would think that since we are the first girl group to make a Big Hit debut in a very long time that people would think that we would mess with the boys heads or that there would be any rumors started between us and the other groups. But on the contrary people have been happy for us and love our music and us individually. I feel like Hannah Montana I feel like I am living a double life.

20th January 2021

"I know you are overwhelmed with the situation my child, I can imagine that it is very hard for you but you have to know what is best for you. You can't tell anyone from your company, you are a rookie, if they find out you had a boyfriend during your trainee time then it is even worse. I wish I was with you and could help you or just be there for you. I love Yoongi very much but I love you even more and I am happy with any decision you make. Just make the right one" my mother says on the phone. Tears have been flowing since she got on the phone but I don't want to tell her and I try not to sob but I know she can tell by my tone that I am crying. She is right. I have to make a decision. Yoongi is getting better day by day and soon he will be busy too he will go back to his daily routine and the other members. He will have comebacks he will have dance practices he will have to go to the recording studio he will have photo shoots he will do interviews and when the corona situation allows he will have to go to other countries and I have to do the same.

I love him to death and I will never love anyone as much as I love him but I am just not happy like this and you can tell me what you want he is not either but he doesn't let it show. Yesterday on the phone there was such an awkward tension between us it felt like I was making small talk with a stranger. Even though I might be the bad guy but one of us has to make the first move. I have wished and hoped that this day will never come but I have to do it.

23 January 2021

Yoongi told me that he is back in his flat in Seoul with his mother. Unfortunately he still can't travel alone so his dear mum went with him. I missed her too, she's the nicest and sweetest woman ever. When I imagine that I won't see her again either, tears well up in my eyes. But today I have to do it. Who would have thought that our reunion would be like this? Who would have thought that I would break up with him. He won't expect it but I have to do it. I’m cold and sick and I just want to go to bed and get the day over with. It's 11pm at night and we've come home after a long hard day. I look out the window and wait until our manager is out of sight.

My members know about my plans and of course have asked me a million times if I am sure and if there is no other way out. I am very happy that they are worried about me but I also feel bad towards them. I have been hiding it from them all our trainee years and when I told them they were all so good about it and even want me not to do it. But no I will do it I am young and want to concentrate on my career and what is coming up for us.

I told Yoongi that I would come, of course he doesn't want to because it's way too late but I said it was important and that we had to talk about something. When I said we had to talk about something he was quiet and then just said he would wait for me. I put on a hat and a thick jacket and the hood of the jacket and a mask and a scarf and go out into the high snow that has covered Seoul. His flat is not far from mine but still I have to take a taxi. I ask the driver to wait for me because I don't want to stay there long I want to get it over with quickly and go.

(me):

can you come down?

(yoongi):

why don't you come up?

(me):

I think its better when you come down Yoongi I don't want your mom to be worried or hears any of that were gonna talk.

He doesn't text back instead I just see the lights turning on from his window. A few minutes later he comes down. Oh my fucking lord he is so handsome. I want to run up to him and kiss him from head to toe. I want to be in his arms. I want us to go upstairs together and fall asleep together. I want to build a snowman with him. I want to be with him forever I love him he is the love of my life.

He comes up to me and smiles at me. He stands in front of me and we both don't say a word. His smile turns into a confused look he notices something is wrong. "Don't I get a kiss or a hug?" he asks me. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. I would love to rip your clothes off Min Yoongi.

"I want to break up." Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. "Yoongi say something?" I ask him. He says nothing. He looks at me with a blank look he is sad he is disappointed he is devastated just like me. "Yoongi please?". He does not speak.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I-i-I really love you I love you more than anything but I know that I can't give 100% in our relationship now. I just want us to be happy but I see that we are not. It could have been great during your time off but I can't be there for you... sooner or later it should have happened. I want to be with you but I can't anymore it was okay then but it's not okay now we're both famous you're in the biggest boy group in the world if anyone finds out we're together we'll be screwed. Especially me Yoongi. Female idols have it harder than male idols you know that. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I think this will be the best thing for us I-" he interrupts me.

"How dare you to tell me what's best for me? Do you have any idea what you're talking about y/n? Stop trying to tell me what's best for me when you know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life god damn. I was going through a difficult time in my life and you were the only one who was there for me! And now you're telling me let’s break up because you're afraid people are gonna find out? And that they are gonna blame you? The fuck? Theres always two fucking persons in a relationship y/n! I also wanted that. I wanted you. Don’t you love me anymore? Why don’t you love me anymore? We hid our relationship for four fucking years why can't we hide it now?" he said yelling at me.

I am shocked and sad I want to die. I don't want to live in this life without Min Yoongi. But I know it's best for us I do it for him and his career too.

"Yes I don't love you anymore" were my last words before I left.

________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: damn y/n!!! did you just break up with the mf min yoongi? you better save your relationship! guys if you want a part two (with maybe a happy ending?) let me know! love you bye 🎀

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moonstruckbucky · 5 years

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Fool for You [one-shot]

Summary: You want Bucky, but Bucky wants somebody else.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst. Lots of angst. Some self-deprecating thoughts, insecurity. Language because my potty mouth. Bucky’s a dick. Not a happy ending. You’ve been warned.

Notes: Inspired by Linger by the Cranberries, but keep in mind it’s not a song fic! I’ve been in such a writing funk lately. I hope this doesn’t totally suck. Enjoy! x

She’s funny. Her joke has Sam wheezing, Steve snorting, and Bucky chuckling. Even Nat has quirked a small grin. They’re so busy recovering their breath that no one sees the absolutely moon-eyed look Bucky directs at her.

Nobody but you.

It’s hard to ignore the rising bitterness in your throat as you sit on the couch, once ensconced in your novel until Sam began hooting like a broken trumpet, a result of her well-timed joke. Of course she’s funny. She has just about everything else going for her, including Widow’s respect, which is a national treasure all on its own.

She isn’t an Avenger, but she may as well be since she’s in the tower so much. It makes your stomach curdle. The super soldier at her side curls a loving arm around her shoulders, drops a kiss onto her hair, and the gesture has her beaming.

And Bucky looks about the same way you feel.

Because Bucky had to go and catch feelings for his best friend’s girl.

He thinks no one knows, but you’re his best friend. Of course you know. You know because he looks at her the same way you do him. You scoff quietly.

Cliches suck.

A weight drops onto the couch cushion beside you.

Careful, Y/N. Green isn’t really your color.

Wanda. Normally you take issue with the fact that Wanda sometimes implants herself in your head, but other times, like now, you’re thankful for it. Explaining it to anyone else makes shame bubble up in your gut.

You give Wanda a single, meaningful glance before your gaze is ultimately drawn back over your shoulder. She, Cassandra, is in the middle of telling a story that has everyone’s rapt attention, Steve looking down at her fondly while it goes unnoticed that Bucky is doing the same. You’re not sure if he realizes he’s doing it, but considering he’s doing it in front of Widow tells you he isn’t.

A quick glance at Nat shows her eyes bouncing between Bucky and Cassandra. Ah, so it wasn’t missed by the scarily-observant super spy. She catches your eye next, an entire conversation being wordlessly spoken. You avert your gaze with a sigh and miss the quizzical little head tilt Nat gives.

When Cassandra’s laughter bubbles up again, you can’t stand it anymore. Wanda frowns up at you as you stand, finger tucked into your book to save your place. You leave the room, wincing as the laughter picks up again.

Inside the confines of your room, you abandon your book to sit on the floor at the foot of your bed, your back against the mattress and box spring. You never meant to be part of probably the stupidest cliche to ever exist, yet here you are. And like that stupid cliche, you have no idea how it even happened.

Somewhere along the path of Bucky’s re-self-discovery, you fell for the man he’d become. Not the Soldier, not the smooth talking ladies’ man of the 40s, but someone somewhere in between. More self-assured than he’s ever been, though not without his faults or his setbacks. Really, though, how could you not have seen this coming?

You sigh into the dark, knees propped up and elbows resting upon them so you can drop your head into your hands. It’s stupid—pathetic, really—how your mind automatically begins to compare you to Cassandra, regardless of the fact that she’s taken. It’s more so because she has Bucky’s full attention, that moon-eyed look solely meant for her that you so wish was directed at you.

You’re a teammate, his close friend, and it seems that’s all you’ll ever be to him. It hurts, coming to that conclusion, knowing you’re one of those girls unfortunately and unfairly destined to experience unrequited love. You laugh mirthlessly to yourself and shake your head, tangle your fingers in your hair and tug, just a little, just enough to ground you before your mind sucks you into a maelstrom of self-pity.

You know sooner or later you’ll have to come clean to Nat, if the perceptive redhead hasn’t already put it together. Wanda is your closest friend aside from Bucky, but Natasha’s scary wisdom beyond her years comes in handy, especially in the tough situations.

You can’t imagine a situation any tougher than this.

So it comes as no surprise as, the next morning, the Black Widow corners you in the kitchen. You don’t bother to hide; stubbornness is one of Nat’s lesser, but more prominent, qualities, and she’s patient as all get out. Instead, you lead her back to your bedroom and spill. She doesn’t interrupt, only listens intently with her head tilted in that feline manner she has.

“Well, that’s quite a predicament,” she notes when you finish. Grumbling unintelligibly, you suck down your coffee. She leans back on her hands beside you. “So I take it there is zero chance of you talking to Bucky about it?”

“Why would I?” you retort, but Nat isn’t offended. “The only thing that’ll accomplish is ensuring our friendship is toast. Burnt as fuck, crispy toast. Plus, I’m not really in the mood to be humiliated when he says he doesn’t return my feelings.”

“How do you know he wouldn’t?”

“Uh, hello, I know you of all people didn’t miss the absolute head-over-heels look he gave her yesterday.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like he’s going to act on that. Steve would pummel him, and it would probably end their friendship.”

“Regardless, I’m not having that conversation with him. I’m just gonna...keep a lid on it and act as if nothing’s off.”

Nat scoffs and you shoot her a look. “Honey, even if I wasn’t me I wouldn’t miss the looks you give him when someone’s not looking.”

You open your mouth and then promptly shut it. Releasing a sigh, you rub your temples. “Okay, so then what do I do? If I pull away he’s going to know something’s up. He’s far too much like you.”

Nat, for once, is rendered clueless on how to proceed. Then, with an actual physical shake of her body, she says, “Okay, so you pretty much have three options. Option one, continue as normal, hide your feelings, be his best friend, and ultimately, probably spontaneously combust because you’re keeping them down instead of letting them out. Option two, tell him, risk the chance that your friendship might change or Bucky will decide to pull his head out of his ass and not make moon-eyes at a taken woman, thus eventually falling in love with you and the two of you live happily ever after. Option three, you start dating. Outside the Tower. Run the risk that you’ll find someone who completes you instead of pining for a guy who might not.”

“That’s it, huh?” you deadpan. Truthfully, none of those options sounds appealing, but more than likely you’re going for option one.

Option one, it turns out, is a goddamn pain in the ass to stick to. In order to throw off Nat’s, and even Sam’s, suspicions that he’s into his best friend’s girl, Bucky has latched himself onto you. Normally, this would be, well, normal. Now? It’s downright impossible to bite your tongue from telling him what’s been cooking up in your head, damn near inconceivable to not lean into him when he sits a little closer to you at movie night.

The little niggling feeling in the back of your head tells you he has tricks up his sleeve, but you brush it off for now and bask in the slightly spice scent of his cologne.

Some weeks later, you’re faring no better. It’s growing even more difficult to bottle your feelings up and stow them in the back of your mind, especially when Bucky’s clinginess seems to multiply tenfold. You aren’t dumb, or naive for that matter, when you realize the only time he’s right on top of you is when Steve and Cassandra are present. When you first put it together, no words in the English dictionary are sufficient enough to describe the painful pang in your heart.

Yet you let it continue.

Nat criticizes you more than once, as does Wanda (who’s admittedly a bit gentler with her approach, but Nat was never one for beating around a bush). You promise both of them you’ll confront him soon, draw a line in the sand that he can’t use you to make his best friend’s girl jealous.

Plus, his plan isn’t working anyways. Cassandra remains both in the dark and unaffected by what he’s doing, and she merely smiles genuinely when she notices Bucky’s arm around your shoulder or waist. As soon as she and Steve leave the room, his arm drops and his shoulders droop. It makes you angry, and it’s why you suddenly begin to dodge his advances. You stop playing along to his chagrin and befuddlement, and the fact that he’s even confused by your refusal to go along with it reignites your ire.

How dare he abuse your friendship, wordlessly expect you to go along with a pointless attempt to make Cassandra jealous? It’s callous and a little cruel of him; you thought you were friends. Friends didn’t treat each other like toys or tools to just use at one’s convenience. Even more than that, with Bucky’s sudden attention on you all the time, as superficial as it is, it only intensifies your feelings for him—both the positive and the negative.

On the one hand, a large, secret part of you revels in being pressed up against him so often, absorbing his warmth and being able to pretend, for just a little while, that his feelings for you aren’t a scheme, that they’re genuine. The smaller, more logical part of you knows you can’t let this continue, and it finally all comes to a head when Bucky asks of you something so unbelievably selfish that you snap.

“I’m sorry, you want to what?” you ask, turning your ear to him as if you hadn’t heard him correctly.

“We should sleep together,” he repeats with a careless shrug. He seems surprised when your gaze hardens and ignites all at once.

“Why? So you can continue your pointless scheme of trying to make Cassandra jealous? Is that why?” you accuse icily. Bucky takes a small step back, mouth opening and closing similar to a fish as he searches for something to say. You beat him to it. “No, Bucky, I won’t sleep with you to go along with your stupid fucking plan of pursuing a taken woman, much less the woman who’s dating your best fucking friend. I’m not stupid; I know what you’ve been doing, and I can’t even believe you would abuse our friendship like that, use me the way you have, without a second thought. Do my feelings mean absolutely nothing to you? Do you know how hard it’s been coming to grips with the fact that, while I struggle with my feelings, for you, you only see me as something to use, something to exploit?”

Bucky’s face continues to fall as you rant, unleashing every pent up thought and emotion. Your voice covers a range of emotion—anger, sadness, hurt—all in a matter of seconds that he nearly has whiplash. Bucky’s always had a strong poker face, but even he can’t hide the feelings rolling through him. The one he settles on is shame. Good.

“You...you have feelings for me?” he questions, quiet and meek.

You scoff. “Right now, I really wish I fucking didn’t. You aren’t who I thought you were, Bucky. Not even close. I was willing to let it go that you wouldn’t feel the same way for me, I’ve accepted that. What I won’t accept is being used as if our friendship means absolute shit to you.”

“No, honey, that’s not—” He stops when you shake your head, teeth clenched tightly and jaw wobbling as you fight to hold back your tears of hurt and heartbreak.

“It was what you were doing, Bucky, and I want no part of it. In fact, I think it’s better you and I don’t speak.”

Bucky looks crestfallen, regret and agony and the will to plead for your forgiveness swimming in his eyes. Bucky’s poker face was ace, but his eyes gave him away and you’d become an expert at reading them. Even if it’s not what he’d intended when he began this hairbrained plan, it’s what happened, and you had been caught in the crossfire.

“Ever?” he asks, a sob ripping from his throat while those pale eyes brim with tears. You glance away for a moment, but then you bravely meet his gaze, holding it.

“Ever,” you confirm. Your face remains stoic but inside your chest your heart splinters and cracks. It’s so painful to break off your most treasured friendship, but Bucky had taken advantage of you, whether or not he had been aware of your feelings. You voice this aloud. “I can accept you not returning my feelings, but I can’t forgive you for taking advantage of me. That’s not what friends do. Goodbye Bucky.”

The door closes softly in his face and Bucky leans his head against the wood, face crumbling as he lets himself go. How could he have been so stupid?

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes/you #marvel #marvel fanfiction #bucky angst

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yeppeojiwrites · 5 years

Text

beauty and a beat (unofficial chapter #2)

summary: the reader and her mom have an actual conversation for the first time since the reader came to korea via phone

pairings: stray kids x reader, ateez x reader

word count: 890

(previous / next)

(crooklyn is one of my favorite spike lee movies <3 <3)

(the whole thing is spoken in english)

You woke up at six in the morning on Sunday because of an alarm that you set the night before. You sighed and pressed your pillow against your face before reaching over to turn off the alarm. You got up from your bed and fixed it before entering the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face.

After doing so, you entered your kitchen and put two pieces of bread in the toaster, yawning as the bread browned. You sat down at your table a short time later, eating your toast and checking your phone every few minutes. After your fifth time checking your phone, it finally rang. You dropped your toast in excitement and quickly answered your phone.

“Good afternoon, Mom,” you said.

“Good morning, (Y/N),” she responded. “What time is it there? Is it really early?” she asked.

“It’s around six thirty,” you responded. She sucked her teeth.

“I could have called you during my dinner break. You didn’t have to wake up so early!” she said.

“No, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want to interrupt your shift.” you reassured her. “Aren’t hospitals super busy on Saturday nights anyways?”

“Some weeks more than others,” she responded. You hummed in response.

“So how is it going there? Is it different from being here?” she asked.

“Somewhat. The streets are a lot cleaner and are well-lit. There are convenience stores and restaurants on almost every street. There aren’t many people who look like us in my area but I expected that anyways.” you tell her.

“Every city is cleaner than Chicago.” she sighed, causing you to laugh.

“That’s true,” you respond.

“So...” she says, a teasing tone in her voice.

“So what?” you ask her in a confused tone.

“Have you seen your boyfriends yet?” she teases.

“What boyfriends?”

“The ones that you used to spend all night talking to? Have you seen them?”

“Chan and Changbin are not my boyfriends,” you groan.

“You might think that but they don’t~” your mom sang.

“They aren’t interested in me, Mom.”

“I have to disagree. When I talked to the boy with the British, sorry, Australian accent, he used the same tone on me that your father used when he first met my parents.” she argued. You sighed. She sighed back, mocking you.

“And the other one...I might not be able to understand Korean, but I can tell that you use a really sweet tone with him,” he says, her pitch rising a bit towards the end of the sentence.

“My voice sounds different when I speak Korean, Mom.”

“Sure~” she teases you again.

“I regret waking up early and calling you,” you joke.

“I’m sure you do.” she laughs. “How are the other boys treating you?”

“They’re really sweet and they’re talented,” you tell her.

“They’re sweet? Explain.” she asks you.

“Exactly what I said. They’re really nice to me.” you respond.

“Really nice? Explain.”

“Mom!”

“Oh, you like someone!” she exclaims.

“No, I don’t. I’ve only known them for a few days.” you assure her.

“You’re being too defensive,” she laughs. “If you don’t like anyone then...which ones are the sweetest?”

“Why? Are you going to look them up?” you snort.

“Yes. Yes I am.” she responds.

“Hmm. I talk to Yunho the most,” you tell her.

“Let me Google him then. What’s the name of the group again?”

“Ateez, A-T-E-E-Z, and his name is Yunho, Y-U-N-H-O,” you tell her. You assume that she put you on speaker phone so that she could be able to type since you hear tapping sounds.

“Oh!” she exclaims.

“What?” you ask her.

“He’s cute! You never told me he was cute!”

“I didn’t think it was important.” you respond.

“Aha! So you DO think that he’s cute!” she yells.

“I mean...yeah. He’s handsome.” you tell her.

“Interesting.” she says in a weird tone.

“Anyways, have you talked to Aaliyah?”

“Your older sister?” she asked you.

“No, the singer that passed away in 2001. YES, my older sister!” you tell her sarcastically. She laughs.

“She’s doing well. She’s planning to visit you in Korea this summer.” Your eyes widen.

“Really?” you ask her.

“Yep! She’s planning to come in late June or early July.” she informs you.

“Is she going to bring my niece with her?” you ask her, even more excitedly.

“No...Stella will be two by then and she doesn’t want to take her on an airplane, especially not on a flight that long.” your mom responds.

“So who is Stella going to stay with? Casey is always working out of the country. Isn’t he in Germany now?”

“I heard he was in Italy. Whatever. Anyway, your brother-in-law is planning to take time off work in order to take care of her.”

“Oh, really?” you asked, surprised.

“It sounds weird, right?”

“Yeah!”

Your conversation continued for another hour until your mom had to hang up in order to get ready for work.

“Be safe tonight, Mom.” you tell her.

“I will. You be safe too.” she responds.

“I will.”

“Have fun with your three boyfriends!” she teases.

“Mom!” you exclaim.

“I’m just kidding,” she laughs at you.

“Yeah right,” you sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m not kidding. Bye!” she says before hanging up.

You groan and put your phone down next to you.

I hate that I miss her, you laugh to yourself.

(previous / next)

#yeppeojiwrites #atzwriters #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #ateez #ateez scenarios #kpop scenarios

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maiakana · 5 years

Text

Accent - Lee Felix

Stray Kids

masterlist

Key: fluff, humor, honestly some ranting haha

Characters: reader x felix

Count: 3.1k words

Part: 1 2 3

Description: who knew a late night run to the grocery store also meant running into a boy with a peculiar voice, literally.

Note: this was my first chapter of a fic I wanted to write but I kinda liked it as a one shot so here we go! I’m still learning so bare with the writing and mistakes! most likely will make a part 2 or 3 but no promises segrtergsefb

GIF Originally Posted by @felixeslee

You tugged your scarf closer to your face as you walked down the streets of Seoul. You were creating a mental map in your head of the area surrounding you.

Although you've been living in Seoul for 3 years already, you haven't quite gotten the hang of going around. Having almost no other connections in the country has also been making it more difficult.

The words were ringing in your ears, the lingering chill that spiked down your spine, as if they were just spoken.

"Y/N I forbid you, I swear you better come back here before you regret it."

Old news you didn’t need to think about, baggage you were still letting go.

It was later in the night, most residents and tourists have retreated into their homes and hotels by now.

However, a good handful of people were still milling about, friends hanging out, adults having late night drinks, or late night shopping. Specifically grocery shopping, which was where you fell in the categories.

The streets were illuminated by golden glows and neon colored signs, advertising hole-in-the-wall restaurants and tourist attractions. Instead, what caught your eye was everyone's fan favorite: the 24 hour convenience store, it indeed deserved that name.

A breeze from outside rushed behind you as you entered the store, your brown hair flew around your face, along with your scarf. You grabbed a basket with one hand as the other is busy trying to tame your airborne hair.

You started down the aisles, picking out the cheapest food items and ingredients you could find. The life of a student.

There was no one else in the store but the cashier, an old man who was busy watching the small TV monitor on the wall and counting money at the register, most likely his earnings from earlier in the day.

You hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a long time, living in a small dorm by yourself didn’t really prompt a lot of needs that needed to be replenished often. Not to mention your lack of eating, sometimes remembering mealtimes was easier said than done.

You filled your basket with the last few snacks that your hands could grabbed before striding towards the register. You politely greeted the cashier, reaching into the pocket of your long coat and pulling out a few coupons and cash, ready to hand them over.

While the old man scanned your items, you noticed all the posters and pictures plastered all over the wall behind him.

Idol groups: boys and girls alike, all very beautiful, a little unreal you might add. Many of them were group photo shoots but some had members individual headshots.

You recognized many groups displayed, from the big-shots like BTS, EXO, and Twice. To upcoming phenomenons like NCT's 18 member super group, just to name a few.

A sad smile curved on your lips, you had a push and pull relationship with idol groups, never quite cemented your opinions on them.

You've never had a issues with the idols themselves, in fact you used to be a huge fan, following so many groups, listening to their music, and even learning their fanchants, the whole shabang. That was the pull towards the appeal. Idols used to be your role models for as long as you could remember.

Repeat that: used to be.

The industry that produced Idols was what killed your appeal. That's the push. When you were younger you had no idea what it took to be in the limelight of the idol industry, of the trainee life.

But who could you blame, a majority of the world never knows that it takes to be successful, you were no different.

Over time, the idea of boys and girls your age being subjected to their looks and physical appearance, whether their voices were deemed alright, and collapsing from over exerting their bodies dancing. It was all too much for you, even as someone on the side lines.

Don't even get yourself started on the negatives of the fans and fandoms. However, the only light to shed on this was that at least Kpop isn’t the only industry that had extremes among those that enjoy it. Western music fans that were toxic over there, were just as extreme too.

You knew that most fans were regular people and just enjoy the music and the bands but sometimes the polarizing few become too much. Maybe it's human nature to have bad apples everywhere.

One incident you remembered a few years ago was the Shinee’s Taemin and APink’s Eaeun situation. A perfect example of the viciousness of fans and their hate and outbursts whenever they saw their idols do something they don't like.

They'd stalk, harass, and belittle anyone that was even in a 10 ft vicinity of the star. Following them around saying disgusting insults, hammering the nails even further. You don't think you’ve ever seen two people in such distress before.

It was such a shame really, for all we know Shinee's makane may have really loved her like he said on the show.

Now years later, the two are left to only avoid each other on stages and music shows when their groups cross paths. Minimizing contact at all cost to protect Eaeun from further harassment for just being around him.

And that wasn't even a scandal, some fans just couldn't stand their oppa being potentially happy with another person.

to be honest that whole section was me being emo after I watched so many videos about it and for all i know none of it was true or real or it was real and they were hurt because of it, either way i don’t feel like deleting it so sorry to anyone annoyed by it lmao

Although idols weren’t on your radar anymore, you would always know of them, it's inevitable. You were living in the time where they were growing the most international.

Music has always been a love of yours and that's all you’ve been focusing on ever since you came to Seoul. That's probably the last connection you had to idols, your love for music, your love for what you do.

The old man finished ringing you up, bagging all of your groceries and handing you the receipt.

"Hold on dear," the elder said, as he crouched down and shuffled with something under the desk.

Restlessly, you tapped your fingers against the counter. Looking around at all the idol merchandise, your eyes were drawn on to the TV monitor.

"N E X T W E E K O N M N E T!"

On the TV screen, many different clips of a few boys wearing dark clothes in a dance studio flashed by. There was a voice over, by an older man, explaining the tasks the trainees had to overcome. It was an idol survival show.

In some flashes they were sitting in a half circle talking intensely, in others they were dancing to choreography as one person sat out giving thorough feedback. However, the last clip showed a lot of the boys individually, either writing lyrics or practicing the lines.

You had barely caught the large strikingly red S and K at the end of the clip before the old man bounced up from searching below, stealing your attention again.

"Aha I found it!"

He brought out a small booklet, as if it was a manual you’d get along with a new speaker you'd buy. A manual it was not. You looked at the cover featuring a subtle sky blue with the Hangul lettering in white.

SCOUTING: COMPANY AUDITION & EMPLOYMENT INFORMATION

"You, young lady, look like these idol kids that are hung up on this wall," he gestured behind him while placing the small book into one of the bags. "We're given these little things all the time by a handful of companies to 'scout for rough potential.’ We only give them out during the day but since you're here so late I figured why not give you one eh?"

You stared oddly at the bags full of your food and now with a book that's basically a catalog of idol company hotlines. Looking back and forth between the wall of posters and the old man's kind smile you felt your cheeks blush at the gesture as you hesitantly smiled back.

"Uhh . . . thank you sir you are very generous," you stiffly bow, thanking him for the bags, still slightly baffled by the idol comment.

Ironic. You still remembered being told the same thing once, but that it’d be the only thing you’d be known for.

How superficial.

To save yourself from further embarrassment you briskly headed for the door. The chilly fall air brushed against your cheek, the bags in your hands slightly swaying due to the quick pace. Walking only a few feet away from the convenience store, you looked down at the bags thinking about what the man said.

Yeah right, become an idol your ass.

Before you could look up you felt your right shoulder collide into another figure, earning a loud yelp from the both of you. You dropped your bags as you stumbled slightly losing your balance while the other person, who you realized was a guy, stumbled on his step too.

The guy reached his hands out and gripped your arms on both sides steadying you. Because of the small tug from his motion, you had accidentally taken a step towards him, slightly closing the space between you guys.

"Are you alright?" a deep voice asked, filled with concern. Shocked, our eyes flickered to meet his. English?

He had ebony brown hair parted on the left side of his face. It was a tad longer than most of the men’s hair you see around but the way it flowed just to his eyebrows perfectly framed his sharp pale face.

He was decked in all black clothing, sneakers and all. He was only maybe 3 or 4 inches taller than you yet his dark hoodie and jeans seemed to make his figure tower over you. His jaw was angular, skin a little paler than yours and lightly dusted across his nose and cheeks were freckles.

bahaha apparently he is 5' 7 rn its okay tho because i’m hella short

"Yeah I am," you mumbled back, stunned by his dark eyes staring down at you.

He grinned at you showing of a white smile. He gently let go of your arms and crouched down to pick up the fallen bags. "I think we're both going to run into something worse than each other someday if we don't pay attention to where we're going."

You quirked up an eyebrow. "You speak English?"

"I don’t know, does it sound like I'm speaking Spanish?" he chuckled at his own joke.

His voice was like the ocean itself. A deep flowing tone, miles under sea level, it was a complete contrast from the pretty face it was coming from.

Your ears seemed to ring listening to his voice. An accent of some sort? It wasn't an American accent like your own, nor was it European, it was distinct. You couldn't really put a finger on it.

"Don't take offense to this but are you a foreigner too?" you questioned.

"Hmm I wonder what gave it away," he flashed you an amused look, carefully handing over the bags full of your groceries. "But yes I am, you?"

"I guess we're both in the foreigners club here," you said looking up at him. "I'm from the States."

"Ahh so I got an American on my hands."

You furrowed your eyebrows at him half amused and half curious.

"And what's that supposed to mean huh?" you shot back. He laughed at your counter, the happy sound echoing through the street.

"I knew you couldn't have been another Aussie," he shoved his hands in his pockets, tilting his head a bit, as if thinking about how he wants to form his next comment. "Your accent made that clear, love."

You couldn’t help but giggle at his words, him following suit. So he's Korean Australian, that's new.

You thought it was only the British that said love.

An electronic ding rings out of the boy's jacket. Quickly pulling his hands out of his pocket with a phone in grip, he opened up the device to view a message he just received.

Sighing, he typed a quick reply to the other person on the other end. You noticed the slight bags under his eyes as his faces was illuminated from the phone. His posture was relaxed but slightly rigid in some movements.

He was clearly exhausted.

When he looked back at you, you took a step back putting some distance between each other, bending down and respectfully bowed to him, greeting him in Korean.

He bowed and greeted you back.

"I'm sorry for bumping into you, I didn't realize it was possible to bump into someone in plain sight," he said, shyly scratching the back of his neck.

You waved him off. "It's okay, I should've been watching where I was going but thank you for helping me."

"It's the least I can do after I sent you spiraling," he replied. He flinched as a few more buzzes went of from his phone, clearly whoever was texting him wasn't willing to wait much longer.

Time to go.

"Looks like my fellow foreigner has to go," You said, tilting your head to the side. "Seems urgent."

"Just my hyungs," he sighed, rubbing his eyes a little. "It was my turn to get snacks for home. Didn't realize I was on a time frame though."

"Lose a bet?"

"Something like that," he said. He held a hand out with the same grin on his face from before. "Well Miss America it was nice bumping into you."

You reached out to shake his hand.

His big hand I'm sorry I snorted writing this haha was warm, delicately holding onto your smaller one, they seemed to tingle at the touch. "I could say the same thing too, Aussie."

You let go of each other hands and exchange a small bow again. The brown haired boy started a step towards the convenience store until he paused and turned back to look at you. He seemed to be debating if it was worth to ask you something.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" He asked.

"Haven't even known each other for an hour," you jokingly raised an eyebrow at him. "Straight forward I see."

He laughed while taking off his beanie, running his fingers through his hair a little. He played the edges of his sweatshirt looking a way a bit, fidgeting.

"Well if you aren't doing anything tomorrow night you should come to Sinchon. I heard there's a lot of busking in the streets since it'll be Friday," he rushed.

"And you want me to come watch with you?" you pressed back. It was an interesting hang out choice for sure, but he's sparked your curiosity. You wanted to mess with him a little longer. "How will I find you? Doesn't seem safe to just give my phone number to a stranger I met on the street. I mean come on we haven't even exchanged names."

His face perked up. Clearly surprised that you were playing along with him. "It's Felix, Lee Felix. And what does my favorite foreigner call themselves?

"Ha ha ha you think you're so witty don't you? I'm Min y/n."

His eyes glistened under the city lights, you felt your heart pound faster at the way his face changed into content after learning your name. "So what do you say miss y/n? Care to join a night of fun with your favorite foreigner?"

"Hmm, maybe you'll see me there," you joked sarcastically. "How am I supposed to turn down the offer of a lifetime?"

You weren’t lying to be honest, even though the idea of watching some buskers was interesting, you weren’t completely sure if you could go. You had a long schedule for tomorrow but you didn't have the heart to ruin his excitement.

Felix's hand shot down back into his pocket to fish out his phone again before handing it to you looking away quickly, avoiding your eyes.

"Maybe you'll feel better if we had a way to let each other know when we'll be there," he mumbled, his cheeks tinting a bit pink.

"Is that how you're going to ask for my number?"

"If it's working then yes."

Laughing at his honestly you gingerly took the phone out of his hands and put in your number. His fingers lightly brushed against your own causing tingles to travel up your hands.

Ignoring the flutters in your stomach, you frantically typed in your info, becoming very embarrassed every time you made a typo. Feeling a heavy gaze watching you, you had barely missed the small comment that slipped out of his lips.

"Cute," he muttered under his breath.

You felt like digging yourself in a hole while you waited for him to put in his own number on your phone, openly spamming in some middle school emoji choices for the heck of it.

His cheeks raised up as a smile lit up on his face. "Can't wait to see you there!" You nodded happily at him trying to calm the nerves that were spreading through your body.

What kind of trouble were you getting yourself into?

You urged him to finally head towards the store, it was like you could hear more message alerts already coming of his phone from a mile away. Waving goodbye as we walked away from each other, you couldn't help but feel the excitement building up already inside. You haven't had a light hearted conversation like this in a long time.

You closed your eyes seeing the painted image of his dark eyes looking down at you, hearing his deep voice that hilariously did not match his face.

His voice.

You whipped around from where you were, only a few feet further from the store and where you just spoke. You spotted the same boy right in front of the store, just about to push the door in.

"Hey Aussie!"

Your shout echoed through the empty dark street. The sky was clear and the moon was out, a perfect chilly day in November.

He turned to your direction surprised at your call. Doing the same head tilt like before, he was about to reply until you beat him to it.

"I like your accent."

His eyes twinkled a bit as he smirked back, amused.

"I like yours too."

#stray kids #felix #lee felix #stray kids felix #fluff #kpop #humor #sorry for the rant #bad grammar #junior year sucks #one shot #idol #kpop idol

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worst--jeanist · 6 years

Text

using sign language in facfiction

so i’ve been reading ~*fanfiction*~ again and i’ve noticed that with the popularity of d/Deaf and hard of hearing characters and headcanons, there’s also a LOT of mistakes being made. whether its from misinformation, lack of research, or simple oversight, I think it’s important to keep some things in mind.

ive got a simple list type thing below for things to consider when using sign language in fanfiction

**Big Honkin’ Disclaimer!!!*** I am not d/Deaf of hard of hearing! I’m an outsider of the community, but I’ve been taking courses in ASL and Deaf Studies for four years now, and I want to spread what I know to other people who might be interested!! Also, i’m keeping it under the cut so updates can be seen cause i’m SO cure i missed a lot!!

1.) ASL is not universal

ASL stands for American Sign Language and is primarily used by Americans, Canadians (except Quebec). Some other countries have adopted it, including many African countries, and some costal Asian countries, but it remains large exclusive to America and Canada.

In fandom, you’re likely to come across Japanese Sign Language for Anime, British Sign Language for BBC shows, French Sign Language for some cartoons, etc. etc. Basically, what I’m saying is that if your thing takes place anywhere besides America, look up what kind of sign language they use, and I would recommend even looking up some basic signs to get yourself acquainted with it.

Note: I can’t say for certain because I absolutely do not know if it’s the case with other sign languages, but at least in American Sign Language, sentence structure is very different from it’s spoken language. In English, we might say “I went over to Clarissa’s house yesterday”, but in ASL, it would translate more directly to “Yesterday Clarissa’s house I go.” Whether or not you choose to write in this word order is up to you. Another option might be to simply sum up what they said like:

Jane asked Sarah, “What did you do yesterday?” Sarah responded that she went to Clarissa’s house.

I, personally, find this the least jarring way to read Deaf characters in print, but that’s just me. It also could avoid a lot of missteps if you’re not familiar enough with the language, especially foreign sign languages!

2.) There are other ways to communicate with deaf and hard of hearing people.

I’ve deadass read fics where character’s S/Os will learn sign language in like. A week. And yeah some basic signs could be picked up in that time, but likely not. Instead of jumping right to “And then his husband learn sign language for him!”, maybe they started somewhere else.

Writing/texting back and forth is a SUPER COMMON AND VERY CONVENIENT way of communicating with a deaf person if you don’t like sign language. I’ve yet to stumble upon a fic where someone is writing cute notes to their S/O like c’MON THAT’S LOST POTENTIAL!!

Gestures go a long way! A lot of signs were born from common gestures, like the sign for “telephone” or “drink”. It’s entirely possible to communicate gesturally to someone without knowing a lick of sign language.

There’s... kind of a lot to say in the way of interpreters so I uuuuh. Okay, as far as fanfic is concerned, the interpreter (Note: the word is “interpreter”, not “translator”) is likely a friend or child because I don’t know who’s writing in RID certified interpreters into their slashfic. But it’s very important that the character is talking to the deaf character and not the interpreter. If that character doesn’t know that, let them learn! It’s fun to read about people knowing things!

Lip-reading and speech-reading is very very difficult and often super inaccurate!!! Especially if the character didn’t grow up deaf or hard of hearing, it’s very difficult to have a conversation with a deaf person who is lipreading. Try it for yourself, it’s SUPER difficult. Hard of hearing characters might have an easier time since residual hearing plays a big part in it but it really rustles my jimmies when deaf/hoh characters are like “haha just talk to me normally, i can read lips :)” when in reality its more like “okay so i can kinda read lips cut can you sit on the other side of me cause there’s more like and also speak slower but don’t over annunciate and also please speak up and can you talk a bit more with your hands so i can get a sense of what you’re talking about and wait im sorry what’s the context again?” followed by many many :can you repeat that?” “what was that again???” JUST BELIEVE ME it’s difficult.

Also remember that a lot of deaf people can’t speak. Also remember that some deaf people can. Also remember that some deaf people don’t “sound” deaf. That’s a whole other can of worms.

3.) Not all sign language users are d/Deaf.

In an attempt to keep this sign language centric, I want to point out that some other people who use ASL actually might have perfectly function hearing and even speaking mouthparts! Some of these people include autistic people, especially children, people who are mute, people with speech processing disorders, and even people with audio processing disorders. And that’s only the groups of people I can come up with off the top of my head. There are all kinds of people use use sign language, gesture language, etc. in their daily lives.

4.) Not all d/Deaf people use sign language.

A sad reality is that many many institutions don’t favor the deaf. There are adults who were born deaf and never learned sign language because they weren’t taught it in schools or because they were taught ~*oralism*~ which was heavily pioneered by Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone and husband to a deaf woman. Not entirely relevant, but interesting. Oralism is the practice of forcing speech and lip-reading onto deaf people, where classes were spent teaching deaf people to speak rather than to sign. In some oralist schools, sign language is even flat-out banned.

A YouTuber that I really love, Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, talks about how her school would provide a BSL interpreter, but not BSL lessons while she was going deaf. And that is a sad reality. In some American school systems, deaf children simply sit through class and kind of. Hope that they get whats going on because their school won’t teach them sign language. And, just as sadly, a V A S T majority of hearing parents to deaf children simply won’t learn sign for their kids and instead enforce oralist ideals on them at home.

5.) *blink-182 voice* All the small things

-pls stop saying you “speak” sign language. you use sign language. I know it sounds a little weird but trust me, speaking sign language sounds even more physically impossible

-hearing aids are not a cure all. Someone isn’t just suddenly hearing because they have hearing aids

-same with cochlear implants but i aint never seen that one in a fanfic. look into it tho it’s a rly interesting debate

I’m gonna be updating this as people have any questions, but i think this is some pretty basic stuff to get started with!

#fanfic #bnha #(cause i basically wrote this bc of stuff i saw in bnha fanfic lmao)

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hannahindie · 6 years

Text

Breathe - Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader Series Warnings: Fatal illness, character death, blood, canon violence, language, eventual smut, kidnapping. Word Count: 2,083 Square Filled: Fatal Illness Summary: A year earlier, the reader finds out exactly what’s going on and has to make a difficult decision. That decision affects her present day life with Sam and Dean, and she has to decide what to do; keep herself at arm’s length, or let Dean in. A/N: This is the second part of my SPN Angst Bingo Card, hosted by @spnangstbingo. It will be seven parts, and the schedule has already been posted. It will post twice a week (Monday and Friday) until it wraps up. **Disclaimer for this particular chapter: I don’t know much about cancer. My life has been affected by it way too often, but the information I wrote here I got from the Mayo clinic website. I may be taking some liberty with it, simply because I don’t have super in depth experience. I apologize ahead of time if it isn’t 100% accurate.

It was beta’d by the ever fantastic and my writing soulmate @trexrambling: “This ending was damn straight perfection, Han.”

My beautiful twinny, @pinknerdpanda: “I need MORE!”

And my dear, sweet angel baby @masksandtruths: “ Damn it, you are breaking my heart....again.”

Thanks to all three for helping a girl out so that her words make sense. I owe a lot to all of you.

As always, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know.

One Year Earlier…

Growing up, I watched my parents hunt. Their parents were hunters, and their parents’ parents were hunters...it is just what my family does. Well, what it did. I don’t have a large family, and hunting doesn’t really promote a flourishing family tree.

I saw my parents die. I watched the larger than life werewolf tear them apart, I heard my father scream for me and watched as he threw his gun as close to me as he could get it before its yellowed teeth clamped down on his throat. I stared at my hands as they grabbed the gun, as if they belonged to another person while they wrapped around the cool metal and pearl handle and squeezed the trigger. I remember being carried from the woods and placed in the backseat of a stranger’s car, the fear that had wrapped around my heart turning into a numbness that lingered for years after the fact.

So the feeling that is coursing through me now in this too sterile room, the rubbing alcohol burning my nostrils, is familiar. It’s familiar and terrifying and I’m not sure what I’m more afraid of; the fear itself, or the numbness that I know is coming.

“You have what is called small cell lung cancer, or SCLC.” She pulls an x-ray from a manila envelope and places it on the display. I don’t know much about human anatomy, but I’m pretty sure my chest shouldn’t look like it does. “As you can see, you have a pretty significant tumor in your right lung, and it has grown into the space between your lungs and your heart. If you look here-” she points to two darker areas- “there are separate parts to the tumor, in two different lobes.”

I know she’s speaking English, and that so far she’s keeping it pretty simple, but I can’t help but look at her like she just babbled at me in Ancient Greek. “So...what...what does that mean?”

She turns off the light to the display and pulls a stool over next to me, “It means that, out of the four stages that you can possibly have, yours is a IIIB. Each stage has different features that qualify it...right now, yours meets all three features. It has also spread to the lymph nodes near the carina, which is where your windpipe splits into the left and right bronchi and in the space between your lungs.”

This sounds bad, and of course it’s bad, it’s lung cancer, but I’m only thirty. How does this happen? I take a shaky breath in an attempt to steady my voice, “Is there any good news at all? Because right now it feels like you basically just handed me my death certificate.”

“Honestly, I don’t have much, and I’m sorry. The good part of all of this is that it’s in the limited stage, which means it’s only in the one lung and the lymph nodes affected are on the same side. It also hasn’t spread to any other organs. That is incredibly lucky, because only about one out of three people catch it this early.” Her small smile falters, and I brace myself for the other side of this shit sandwich. “However, the five year survival rate of small cell lung cancer compared to non-small cell...it’s drastically lower.”

“How much lower?”

“Ms. Y/LN, I need you to keep in mind that these survival rates are only an estimate, they can’t predict what will happen to any individual person-”

“How much lower?”

“The five year relative survival rate for stage III SCLC is about eight percent. But we can treat it, we have options. They are limited, but they are options, and there has been some success.”

The rest of the conversation is a blur. She hands me pamphlets and offers me a glass of water, displaying a kindness I'm sure she's gotten down to a science in this line of work. I know what she’s saying is important, she’s listing medicines and writing scripts and explaining that we can get chemotherapy started right away, but I don’t hear it. There is talk of procedures that will make it easier to breathe, but right now it’s taking everything I have to force myself to keep going, to focus on the air coming in and going out. Her words are fading into the background as the same thought keeps screaming, drowning out everything else.

I am dying.

Now…

Every so often, Dean’s eyes flick up to the rearview mirror. They don’t linger; it’s almost as if he’s checking to make sure I’m still in the back of the car. He hasn’t mentioned what happened back at the hotel, and I’m hoping he forgets about it. However, as I watch his eyes flick up to the mirror again, I know he won’t.

I scoot up and lean on the back of the seat, “So, uh, Sam, what’s up with this ghost, anyway?”

I see Sam’s massive shoulders shift slightly as he shrugs, “It’s pretty straight forward. The hotel actually used to be a mansion owned by a doctor, who was married with eight children. The doctor was well known and seemed to be liked by everyone in town, and honestly his life was pretty normal until his children started dying suddenly. Like clockwork, the children became horribly sick, in order from youngest to oldest, and within three weeks all eight of them had died. Rumor was that the wife had something to do with it, but at the time there was no way to prove it. Shortly after the last funeral, the doctor didn’t show up to open his practice, which was very unusual. His nurse called the police, and when they arrived, the front door was open. The doctor had been killed, and his wife was nowhere to be found. To this day, no one knows what prompted the deaths of the children, or why the doctor was killed. No one ever found her.”

I settle back into the seat and look out the window at the scenery passing in a blur, “That’s uplifting.”

“Well, you asked.”

I don't answer, and the car falls silent aside from the rock music playing softly in the background. I quietly flip my bag open and shuffle through the books and papers, searching for the little box that so far has given me life. My fingertips rest on the Altoid can and I flip it open, grabbing a pill and a mint at the same time. Can't be too careful when it comes to covering up my lies.

“Hey, can I get one of those mints?” Dean's hand pops over the back of the seat and I lock eyes with him in the mirror. He's testing me; like Sam, he's catching on.

“Sure.” I drop one in his hand, popping the actual pill into my mouth as I smile and snap the tin closed. His eyes narrow for just a second, then his gaze drops back to the road.

I'm tired. My head drops back onto the cool leather seat and I let my eyes slip shut. My chest hurts, and it feels like someone is sitting on my sternum. I concentrate on breathing, careful to make it sound normal, like I'm not struggling to get enough air. I wonder how long this is going to drag on, how much more time I have.

The car begins to slow and I open my eyes as we pull into a gas station. Dean immediately goes for the gas pump so, before he has a chance to settle his sights back on me, I walk quickly into the convenience store.

“What's going on?” I jump and nearly drop the bag of Combos I am contemplating, then glare at the guilty party.

“Jesus, Sam! Can you not? And what do you mean, ‘What’s going on’?”

He crosses his arms and tilts his head, “You and Dean have been weird. What happened before we left the motel?”

I roll my eyes as I make my way towards the drinks, “Nothing happened. And could you define weird? Because the only interaction we've had since we left the hotel was him asking me for a mint.”

“Exactly!” Sam gestures wildly, his voice still loud even though I can tell he's trying to whisper. “You guys talk all the time. Music, movies, food. You're like the female version of Dean. You guys haven't spoken the entire time. It's weird.”

I grab a Coke, then turn to face Sam. He's looking at me expectantly, and I sigh, “Nothing happened. I'm just tired, and I'm sure he's tired, and that's it. We left the room like ten seconds after you, there wasn't time for anything to happen. Cool your jets, would you? It's fine.” I walk towards the counter, “They've got some organic snacks over by the chips, make sure you get some so you aren't cranky later.”

I grab a couple other snacks as I make my way to the counter, pay, then walk outside and toss Dean one of my last-second purchases.

“Oooo, teriyaki lime jerky. Someone knows the way to my heart.” He pulls the nozzle from the tank and it clunks into place on the pump. “What did I do to deserve you?”

I shrug and lean against the car, “I am truly a gift. You should probably appreciate me more.”

Suddenly, he's directly in front of me, his moss green eyes burning into mine, and then his hand is on my waist. He's close, so close I can smell the shampoo he used this morning and the faint mix of toothpaste and the motel coffee he called breakfast. “I would like very much to show that appreciation.” He smiles, and for a second I am tempted. Oh, am I tempted.

“Dean, we’ve talked about this-”

He tilts his head, and his eyes do that squinty thing he does when he’s thinking about what to say. What I want to do is reach up and smooth the worry wrinkle between his brows, trace the little crinkles at the corners of his eyes, but instead I hold my ground. Barely, but it’s held.

“No, you talked about this...and I let it go, because I mean...you’re right. Our lives,” he scoffs, “our lives are fucked up. People like us die young and we die bloody. And if we are lucky enough to live to the ripe old age of sixty, we also live long enough to see everyone we love killed. And it sucks, God, it sucks, but it is what it is. But I’m tired of that, alright? This-” he gestures between us- “this is worth it. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it. You can’t tell me that you haven’t felt it since Omaha.”

Omaha. Low blow, Winchester.

“Is this really the time to discuss this? As lovely as this gas pump is, this isn’t exactly a romantic way to bring it up.” He is still staring at me, his mouth set in a determined line, and for a moment I want to tell him to quit making that face, that his lips look better when he smiles because they’re full and pink and beautiful, but that would not help this situation. Instead, I sigh, “Omaha was a mistake, Dean. It was fun, but...it was a mistake.” His hand drops from my waist and I would take all the cancer in the world if it meant I never had to see that look on his face again. If I thought my chest hurt before, it is nothing compared to what it feels like now.

His tongue darts out and wets his lips, the bottom one catching between his teeth as he stares at me. It looks like he’s going to argue with me, and there’s a little part of me that is begging him to fight for it, for us, to convince me that my plan is garbage, but instead he walks away. He’s opening the driver’s side door by the time Sam gets to the car and looks at me quizzically.

“You okay?”

I clear my throat, “Oh, yea, I’m fine.” I climb into the backseat and settle in against the door. The car starts with an echoing roar, and he accelerates out of the lot faster than is necessary.

For the rest of the drive, his eyes never look up into the rearview mirror.

Read part 3 HERE.

Like what you see? Would you like to see more? My Masterlist is here!

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @deanssweetheart23 @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-babydoll @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbatesmotel53 @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @thelittleredwhocould @jotink78 @amanda-teaches @ilsawasanacrobat @squirrel-moose-winchester @mjdoc90 @anticipate1003 @mrswhozeewhatsis @mindsunleashed @mogaruke @speakinvain @linki-locks11 @wildlandfox @rhochradel

Dean Only: @akshi8278 @valkyrieslament @lavieenlex @highonpastries @wholelottajackles

Breathe: @rosethesupernaturalhunter @bitchof707official @waywardbaby @demondeantrash

SPN Angst Bingo: @thekarliwinchester @emptywithout @winchesterxtwo @aubreystilinksi @castianityislife02

#spn angst bingo #breathe part 2 #dean winchester #dean x reader #angst #so much angst

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roccodreamholidayasia-blog · 6 years

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How to Seduce Any Filipino Girls

Seduce, Date, and Mate Beautiful Filipino girls

Don’t Need to Visit The Red Light Districts to Get Laid

Filipino girls are hot, fun, and always laughing. Out of all Asian women, they are famous for being the most caring and loving.

If you date or marry a Filipino woman, you’ll never go hungry… Keeping you well fed in the kitchen while satisfying any of your desires in the bedroom.

But there is more!

The best part is wherever you’re going, you’ll get noticed.

At first, you’ll feel a bit uncomfortable if you aren’t used to receiving so much attention from the women in your country, but you’ll leave feeling like a rockstar.

You’ll love the Philippines, you’ll feel like a younger, manlier, a more powerful version of yourself.

Yes, my friend: “that is how much they are into foreign men”.

What’s not to love?

The girls are sweet and eager to please, the booze is cheap, and the weather is always sunny.

Is it Hard to Seduce Filipino Girls?

Short Answer: No, it’s not hard if you know where to find the right ones!

Long Answer: If you don’t know the right techniques, you’ll find it difficult to connect with girls and get them into the bedroom.

But don’t worry, the strategy I lay out below is full-proof. If you follow the step below, you’re going to meet some beautiful Filipina.

8 Things to Remember About Filipino Girls

Speaking to a western guy for a long time in public during the day might be embarrassing, so make sure you give them your number or get theirs ASAP.

You are the PRIZE! They love westerners and think you are naturally good looking.

Taking care of you is part of their culture. They will want to cook for you and make sure you’re happy all the time.

Girls will seem shy and conservative in public, but when you get them alone, they’ll be super horny and keen.

Lots of women have kids. If that creeps you out, ask politely before you start anything serious.

Beware of women who ‘need money for grandma’ or tell you sob stories. They are just looking for a quick payday and will use you like an “ATM.”

Don’t be aggressive or too assertive. Manners are very important in Filipino culture.

English is widely spoken in the Philippines, so language won’t be a problem.

Where to Seduce Filipino Girls

There are mainly three different approaches to meet girls in the Philippines: online, day game and night game.

You should consider trying all of them until you find out what works best for you. If you ask me, my favorite approach is to use online dating, but what works for me might not work for you.

Let’s start…

Online Dating in the Philippines

The best way to meet a quality girl willing to give you what you’re looking for is to use online dating sites.

Why dating sites work best?

These are the reasons:

Reach: Most Filipino girls own a smartphone and are comfortable using a dating site;

Practical: You can start seducing girls right now from the comfort of your couch;

Convenient: For a small monthly subscription you can chat with thousands of girls without wasting time and money going to the usual tourist areas in the Philippines;

Easy: You never get rejected in public or have to endure embarrassing moments;

Safe: No trouble with jealous Filipino men.

Meeting your dream girl online isn’t rare or seen as weird. Filipino women think online dating is a great way to meet foreigners without the embarrassment or hassle of finding them in public.

Online dating means you only meet the girls you want to meet. You don’t have to go to bars and start awkward conversations only to find the girl you were talking to wants to get paid.

Instead, you go online, fill out your profile, and start chatting to girls who like you right away. If you make a few mistakes in the beginning, it’s no problem – there are plenty more fish in the sea.

The top dating sites in the Philippines are where you can meet your dream girl. Once you visit her country, she is going to give you the best time of your life.

It doesn’t matter how you look or if you struggle to talk to girls, there is someone out there perfect for you.

You’ll find girls looking for true love and marriage, girls looking for a boyfriend, girls wanting a quick fix, and girls who just wanna have some casual fun for a couple of nights.

If you are traveling on business or visiting for a holiday, you can find a date for your visit through this channel.

Fill out your profile and get started by chatting with girls you think are hot.

If you are visiting the Philippines on holiday, it’s best to start looking at girls a few weeks or even months in advance. That way you will be comfortable when you meet in person and trust their intentions.

Keep in mind that most girls are looking for a serious relationship, so If your intentions are only casual sex, avoid the topic.

Let them know that you’ll only be visiting for a short time, and you’re looking for a companion. They’ll pick up on the vibes you are putting out and know what you want.

Few tips to keep in mind when chatting with the girls:

Always be charming and courteous; Filipinas are feminine and love to be treated as such.

Keep it fun; They love to have fun, so don’t be too serious.

Be patient; many men on Filipino dating sites talk dirty and ask for nude pictures. Don’t need to ask for them, as the conversation develope you’ll be surprised to open your inbox and see her sexy photos.

Next is…

Day Game in The Philippines

If you don’t like online dating sites, head out during the day to do some scouting. Philipino girls love to shop, so shopping malls are a great place to meet them.

How to start the conversation? Just pretend you’re lost and ask for directions.

Walk up to a girl you like and say “Hi, excuse me, I’m a little lost, can you tell me which way the food court is?”

Don’t forget to smile

She’ll probably giggle and point you in the right direction before asking you where you’re from.

When you talk to girls, they’ll be friendly but a little shy or conservative – don’t let this put you off. When the two of you are alone, her kinky side will come out.

Strike up a quick, casual conversation and be warm while polite. Don’t be cocky or too rude, this isn’t the West, that kind of approaches aren’t going to work in the Philippines.

Before you go, ask her for the phone number, most probably she’ll give you her Chat Line ID (they use an app called LINE in Asia). If you are too shy to ask, give her a folded piece of paper with your number on it as you walk away.

Repeat this 5 times, and you are almost guaranteed to have a hot date the same night.

Night Game in the Philippines

Don’t go to a bar or a disco if you’re not willing to spend money. Drinks are expensive, and there are a lot of pros looking to earn some extra cash.

If you don’t want to spend a fortune, go to a place that has a mix of westerners and local crowd.

Dress as well as you can, Filipinos value appearance. Don’t make the typical tourist mistake of a T-Shirt and shorts – it’s a major turn off!

Wear a button up shirt and closed shoes, smart but casual. The girls will harass you

At most, take a walk once round to identify the girls you are interested in and then sit down next to some hotties. Don’t hover or wander around, that shows you ‘re desperate, unconfident or unreliable.

Remember: you’re the man, so be masculine in your approach.

A confident man knows what he wants. Have a quick look around and approach your pray immediately. I usually approach within a minute of walking in.

This simple approach has gotten me a lot of lays with hot Filipino girls, it works every time.

Remember, you’re a caveman and Filipino girls love to be hunted, it’s their feminine nature at work.

Keep your approach simple and basic: “Hi”, and from there develop any conversation.

The first few minutes of conversation isn’t all that important. If you’re at a loss for something to say, ask them where their favorite place in the Philippines is. The girls love to talk about themselves.

How Easy is to Bed a Filipino Girls

The Philippines is mostly Catholic and girls appear shy in public, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t get fucked.

More often than not, girls who are shy in public are the horniest when alone with you and keen to get their kink on.

At first, it isn’t going to be easy to have sex with a girl just met in the mall or nightclub. Not because they are hard to bed, but because they are unaware of how things develop quickly in the Philippines.

Do you want a piece of advice: “Be straightforward and decide what to do next.”

Most guys either let the girl decide what to do next or ask their opinion, no wonder they get to watch a lot of movies at the cinema.

You’re the man, and you make the call.

http://dreamholidayasia.com/dating-asian-girls/philippine-girl/how-seduce-filipino-girls/#ixzz5RlPmDb7o

#seduce #filipino girls #filipina #pinay date

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fathomintoxconstellations · 4 years

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{ALEXANDRA DADDARIO, FEMALE, SHE/HER ) ⌇ have you seen MADISON “MADI” MONTGOMERY around icaria? they are the 30 year old child of ATHENA. they remind me of endearing rambles, worn-out sneakers, and clenched fists. They’ve been on the island for 2 months.

basics:

Full Name: Madison Jane Montgomery

Nickname: Madi

Parents: Carter Abbott & Athena

D.O.B.: December 20th

Age: 30

Profession: Bartender at Night Shade/Popular Murder Mystery Novelist

Spoken Languages: English & Greek fluently (But, knows a handful of other phrases/bits and pieces from other languages)

Abilities: Telepathy & Mimicry (still learning control)

bio:

Tw: Abuse, Rape

Carter Abbott was a stubborn man, but a smart man. Like his dad before him he studied history and believed if you wanted to change the future you had to look in the past. Carter was on his way to his friends house when he was stopped by a woman. She was striking and brutal all at the same time. They were only supposed to spend one night. He honestly forgot or at least he would have told everyone he forgot about that woman he had that one night stand with. Until he saw her again this time she had a child with her. He asked her who the baby was and she simply handed the boy over and smiled. She told him who she was and told him to name the baby after a great man since that’s what their son was going to be. But, they didn’t just have a son. A few years later, Carter ended up finding himself face to face with the striking goddess once more. This time, she bore a daughter to whom he named Madison after James Madison.

Raising Link and Madi was far from an easy feat. Link always seemed to know exactly what he was going to say or do and when Link argued back, Madi was right there with him. The ornery little girl edging her big brother, who she looked up to more than anyone in the world, on. Madi was a bright girl full of life. She rarely ever sat still, always running around with this infectious smile. She was playful and yet endearing. A breath of fresh air and, while Link always had witty and quick retorts, Madi was one to ramble on and on.

They had a happy and rambunctious family. But, their little trio didn’t last. Their father delved deeper and deeper into his research, being consumed by his obsession with the past and when Madi was only 12 years old, their father went on a research trip and never returned. They wanted to go look for him, but they were denied and they never were able to figure out what happened to him.

Their father’s passion was history, Link’s passion was money and finance, and Madi? Madi had always felt a bit lost. She was a curious child in nature, quick to jump from one skill to the next. But, she never had that one thing she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She changed her major far too many times and even took a gap year to travel the world, before finally settling with Criminology. She figured she could apply for the CIA when she graduated or go into Forensic Analysis- do something that made a difference and hopefully allowed her to continue to travel. But, life had other plans.

Madi met Alek during her Senior Year. He was a magnanimous person who didn’t give her much of a choice not to be drawn to him. He was charming, funny, devious, and manipulative. He had a youthfulness about him that bordered on immaturity. At first, Mads wasn’t interested. She wasn’t swayed by his good looks or sweet words. But, In the midst of his flirty lines, they became friends. Alek made her laugh, made her feel special and made her feel worth while. She had misgivings about whether or not he was the one, but she enjoyed how much he coveted her and, as much as it pains her to admit, she had needed someone to rely on at the time. She had just developed the gift of telepathy. Her brain flooded with the overwhelming thoughts of others to the point where it was painful to even think. It quickly became easy, convenient even, for him to ostracize her from others and be her rock. So, when Alek proposed, it wasn’t even a question whether or not she’d say yes.

Link warned her about Alek. He had a premonition that her husband would cheat on her. But, Link saw all future possibilities and neither of them knew which ones would come true or at least that’s what she convinced herself of. Madi convinced herself that she loved the man she married and that she was going to make it work. The violence escalated about as quickly as their relationship did, but she stayed with him. Madi had once been fairly strong willed. She’d even shove bullies down if they tried to pick on one of her classmates. Madi had always defended the underdog, but when it came to defending herself, she fell short. His apologies were heartfelt and affective in getting them back to sanity and a semblance of a loving relationship. That was until his fists would collide against her skin once more or he’d pin her down against the bed and force himself upon her and the cycle would start all over again.

She should have gotten out a lot sooner than she did. But, the straw that broke the camal’s back wasn’t from any of the violence or abuse. It wasn’t even the time he inevitably caused her to miscarriage. Nope. The thing that did it was when she read his mind and discovered that the man who had always felt so much guilt and sympathy after everything he had done to her was cheating on her.

In an instant, it felt like a switch had flipped. She packed up as much as she could into one bag, while he was at work, and hopped in a taxi and headed to the first bar she could find. That night she ended up falling in bed with a complete stranger. But, even though she didn’t know the woman laying beside her, she couldn’t help, but feel like whatever her life held for her would be better.

Madi rarely talks about what happened with her failed marriage, moving to Icaria where her brother has been living and working to discover the bright girl she used to be once more.

wanted connections:

Family:

Biological Brother: Link

Half-Siblings: Kennedy (Bond over Criminology Backgrounds) & Viv (friends who drifted apart later discovered half-sibs)

Ex-Sister in Law/Act like Sisters- Mara

Cousin- Phoebe

Acts like a Big Brother- Jack

Work:

Fans of her Murder Mystery Fiction Novels- Mari’s Dad;

Fans of Trash Romance Novels that she used to Ghost Write- Eve;

Boss- Ivy

Patrons/Co-Workers at Night Shade

Person to try out new cocktails on

Friendships:

Best Male Friend

Best Female Friend- Delilah (grew up in NY together);

Friends from NY- Wolfgang; Raye,

Friends - Lachlan; Lisa;

Ex-Wives Club- Harper (met at a Divorcee Event);

Little rays of sunshine who get high on occasion- Gianna

Role Model/Dysfunctional Role Model

A couple of goofballs - Caelan, Harley

Someone who brings out the best in her

Someone who brings out the worst in her

Workout Buddy/Sparring Partner

Partner in Not So Crime- Deacon

Friends from College

Friends from High School

Childhood Best Friend-

Family Friends-

Phone a Friend (Goes to/calls her whenever they’re in trouble/vice a versa)

Old Roommates

Roommates

Couch Surfer (Someone who used to let her crash on their couch from time to time)

One Sided Friendship

Break into Showtunes/Disney Buddies

Karaoke Partners

Frenemies (Act super nice, but actually don’t get along/like each other)

Bickering Frenemies (Act like they hate each other, but really love the hell out of each other)

Friends who had a falling out

Friends who grew apart

Someone who takes her under their wing

Someone who she takes under her wing

Mom Friend - Nelly

Dad Friend

Someone who brings out the more serious side of her

A friend who is lying to her

A friend who she is lying to

Toxic Friendship

Rivals

Acquaintances (Have always been aware of the other person’s existence, but for some reason have never grown close)

Stumbled upon each other in either an awkward or personal moment and now have trouble looking each other in the eyes

Wingwoman (Someone she’s a wingwoman for)

Wingman/Wingwoman for Her

Fake friend

Fake staker (someone who teases her about stalking them, but actually enjoys their company)

Breakfast Club (Someone she met once when traveling. They opened up to each other and had a breakfast club-esque relationship for a day/weekend before they parted ways, only to see each other again now) - Anya

Good Influence

Bad Influence

Someone who helps her gain more control of her abilities

Someone who she helps gain more control of their abilities

Play pranks on one another until someone gets in trouble/hurt

Serendipity (Someone who she consistently runs into again and again over the years; could be friends or acquaintances, but neither can deny, it’s weird that they keep on meeting like this)

Relationships:

Exes who ended on good terms

Exes who ended on bad terms

First time

Old Flame

Past one night stand

FWB - Ulani;

Crush

Ex Crush turned Friend

Ex Crush turned Foe

Exes who are now friends, but don’t ever talk about the fact that they dated

Unrequited love

First boyfriend

First girlfriend

Kindergarten couple

Hooked up with the night she left her husband- HJ

#icaria: intro #madi bio

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silver-soliloquy · 7 years

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COMC week I don’t even know anymore but here are some Notes

XLIV

o Edmond, do you…do you know anyone who isn’t connected to this whole revenge nonsense? Have you ever spoken to a single person without a sinister ulterior motive? You might try it sometime, it’s fun o That said, Edmond Knows Nothing About This Backstory is always a hilarious game o So I think this is the first time Edmond’s used two disguises on the same person without being caught, as the Abbe Busoni and the Count? Mysterious Stranger level-up! o I also love that all his aliases apparently KNOW each other, half his social circle is actually just himself in different wigs o Oh, Caderousse. Yikes.

XLV

o I have no comments for this chapter except WHAT LADY MACBETH NONSENSE EVEN IS THIS o “I like ghosts” okay you goth weirdo

XLXI

o A retreating forehead!! Edmond, how did you not realize Danglers was evil when you first met him! o Edmond spying on people from his window with binoculars like a stereotypical suburban housewife on the hunt for gossip is the most amazing image ever, thank you Dumas o The whole horse theft thing is just SO PETTY. Like I know it’s part of a Scheme, but…sooooo petty. o The politeness mind games Edmond plays with people is honestly the most enjoyable part of the book so far, why can’t we have less obscure chess mastering and more clever social maneuvering?

XLVII

o The baroness Danglers is Terrible and kind of hilarious in her utter lack of chill o I’m not sure which headcanon I like better—Edmond actually spending the timeskip years hanging around theatres and annoying the actors into giving him lessons, or Edmond being super obvious and overacting literally all the time but everyone assumes it’s just part of his ~eccentricity~ and never calls him on it o He gave the horses diamond earrings. What the hell, Edmond. o Okay again, Edmond the shadowy figure pulling the strings of some mysterious grand plan isn’t that interesting of a character to me—Edmond the petty, passive-aggressive verbal sparer using rich people’s own societal convention and etiquette laws against them is FANTASTIC and I am totally rooting for him in those moments

XLVIII

o Not really sure how much of this Edmond actually believes and how much he’s just saying to weird out Villefort, but what the hell anyways o Nortier :(((((

XLIX

o Haydee!!! o …question, was Greece actually included in ~The East~ from a 19th century French standpoint? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it lumped in with orientalism before, but Haydee being Greek also seems to make her Turkish and generally ~Eastern~ as far as her wardrobe and interior decor is concerned? o Haydee definitely needs some friends, but she is awesome regardless

o The Morrels are adorable and I’m really glad they’re doing well o Watch it Edmond, you’re on the verge of making a friend o Edmond BLUSHED oh my god let’s keep Julie around always o Edmond’s identities are getting a little precarious here—if Maximilien ever talked to Franz about the whole Sinbad saving his family thing Franz would be only too happy to tell him that Monte Cristo goes by that name sometimes and “oh uh no there’s TWO Sinbads running around and the one who helped you is my weird English friend who just happens to look a lot like me” would be a pretty flimsy excuse o But possibly that would require a higher level of friendship than Edmond would expect, especially since he had no reason to expect Max’s social circle to overlap with his enemies’ kids’ o I would laugh so hard if all his castle of lies collapsed from a couple friends chatting though, oh my god o WAIT A SECOND, didn’t Albert talk about Franz’s Arabian Nights adventures with the Count at the breakfast that Max was AT? Come on dude, put it together, there can’t be that many people running around with that ridiculous an alias o Also, so far Mercedes and Julie are the only two who have even looked funny at the Count so far! A+ perceptiveness, ladies! o Also I’m so glad that part of Edmond’s disguise routine is tight corsets o I had to put down the book to go OOOOOOH at Morrel attributing his salvation to Edmond Dantes’s ghost, DANG Dumas I was not expecting that o Edmond: oh well I have no idea who that is but I have to leave right now immediately for totally unrelated reasons

o At least twice this chapter I found myself thinking “wow, this is really Pyramus and Thisbe!” before remembering that that is, in fact, the title of the chapter, so well done Dumas you got me o Also side note last time I read a thing where the heroine had an evil dad and the name Valentine was involved it belonged to the dad, so my brain keeps trying to autocorrect “Valentine” to “Valentine’s Daughter” o Be quiet, brain, we can reread Mortal Engines later o Valentine also really needs more friends! Can she make friends with Haydee, please? o @aporeticelenchus okay now it definitely makes sense that Edmond would have sought out Franz separately from Albert—I wonder what exactly he was hoping to find in his enemy’s future son-in-law, and if Franz met expectations? o Marking this down as another class-as-costume moment, now for romance purposes! o …I wonder what Franz did to make Villefort want him as a son-in-law so bad, since he doesn’t seem to like most people—maybe just being rich and titled, of course o I’m so sad about Valentine and Nortier’s friendship already :( o VALENTINE NEEDS A HUG o I’m glad she at least had a good relationship with her mom? Her mom was a good, from the little we saw of her :( o I love how much literally all the kids hate Danglers. He has a creepy laugh! Thank you, Valentine

LII

o This whole chapter is just…very extra. There is absolutely zero subtlety happening here. o Valentine is also definitely right to be scared of her stepmom, jeez. Now I want to hug her even more! o AU where Edmond’s grand vengeance is actually just raising all his enemies’ kids better than they ever could like in Maleficent o “this domestic pest answering to the name of Edouard” man I love it when the narrators get judgey o Once again Edmond pulls two disguises on the same person and gets away with it! although the fact that he admits it makes me want to think he actually hired someone else to play the doctor in Italy, just to be contrary o Edmond judging people’s parenting skills is also hilarious o (Maleficent au!!!) o EDMOND IS THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS, THE TRUTH IS REVEALED AT LAST

LIII

o Eugenie!!! o Albert is so rightfully terrified of her, this is amazing o I would actually kind of love for the two of them to get convenience-married and then just ignore each other forever? o Eugenie checking out literally every woman in the opera house is incredible, girl wouldn’t know subtlety if it bit her on the nose—but Haydee is a musician! Eugenie should invite her over for jam sessions with her and her singer girlfriend! FRIENDSHIP! o Please just give Haydee friends okay o Also the slave/princess thing Haydee’s got going is making people uncomfortable and unsure how to treat her, class as costume but the other way around maybe! o AT LEAST HAYDEE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO THE STAGE o Haydee backstory! Excellent!

LIV

o “ADORABLE” o Franz’s comments about the count in his letter to Albert—PLEASE CHILL??? o Unless Albert is making this up as an excuse to compliment the count himself, in which case YOU chill o Oh so Franz’s dad was a royalist! That would explain that arranged marriage o Albert’s really making a fuss about this marriage thing, Eugenie seems mostly indifferent? Well, maybe it’s just because she’s a lot scarier than he is

LV-LVI

o These are…a weird couple chapters o It’s interesting to see the behind the scenes of Edmond’s chessmastering though! o Also, these two are really terrible actors and I would not be surprised at all if they gave the game away o At the very least, we should get to see Edmond judging their acting prowess which should be ENTERTAINING o Again we have ~Andrea~ meeting Edmond in various identities without being any the wiser! I really want to do a comparison with Fantomina tbh o They’ve already broken character?? STANDARDS, guys

LVII

o I’m sad that Eugenie and Valentine aren’t friends, but at least they can talk to each other? o I do get the feeling that Eugenie wouldn’t have a ton of patience for Valentine’s woe-is-me spiel though, so okay o …did Nortier murder Franz’s dad, because I would scream o Honestly, all the next gen boys are so hearteyes about Edmond it’s hilarious o Sweet of Edmond to get Max that horse he wanted, though! And…he actually exercised subtlety for once in his life instead of just sending it to Max’s place with diamond earrings?? INCREDIBLE

#comc17 #book blogging #...should I be putting these behind a cut?

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knkinky · 7 years

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Cafe pt 2

Summary: Even if Youjin had never spoken to you, and yet you still managed to captivate him. Whenever he could he would come to the coffee shop just to see you.Maybe with Inseong’s constant pushing, Youjin be brave enough to finally speak to you.

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff/ Drama

A/N: Hey! I am still super new to writing Scenarios and stuff so please give me a lot’s of feedback and love. I hope you guys like it. Let me know if I should continue with it part 3. Also, I want to say thank you for my friend @fastfish who has helped me out on editing this. ^_^ -Tinkermom Cami

part 1

You walked in into your favorite cafe with a smile on your face. This was your favorite time of day. The time to get a nice cup of coffee and relax, or make some extra money by tutoring English for a few hours a day. Today’s schedule is to tutor Hyuk in some English grammar and your appointment with him was set at 3 pm.

Speaking of Hyuk, he was behind you. You waved at him and walked closer to you.

“Noona!” he smiled.

You gave Hyuk a slight glare. “Hyuk, when you are with me you can only speak English, okay?”

Hyuk just looked at you and nodded.

You looked back to see if your favorite spot was available and you felt someone staring at you. You scan around the cafe to see who it is, when your eyes met with a very familiar face.

Hyuk interrupted “ Would you like coffee or tea this time?”

You keep looking at him, trying to remember when was the last time you saw him. “Coffee and make it black with an extra shot of espresso,” you said while looking at the beautiful stranger.

You hear Hyuk ordering in Korean while you walk to the far left corner of the cafe to claim your spot. You could still feel him staring at you. You look back at him and gave him a nice warm smile. He immediately stops staring and turned back to look towards his friend. You thought his reaction was cute and continued to smile.

You straighten your posture when you see Hyuk coming with two cups of coffee towards your spot.

“Noona, here you go,” Hyuk exclaimed in an excited voice.

“Hyuk, how many times am I going to tell you that you need to speak English with me or you’ll be wasting your money on your English studies,” you said in a sassy tone.

“I am sorry, it’s just that I forget and your Korean is super good. From now on I will speak to you in English and not forget about my education.”

“Good, now you said that I need to review your paper and explain some grammar rules?” You said while opening up your laptop.

A good two hours have passed, and Hyuk left because his roommate Hakyeon called him for dance practice. To keep yourself busy, you were reading some essays and grading them since you are a TA for a technical communications class. The cute boy with alluring eyes and his bunny teeth friend were still in the coffee shop. Sometimes the cute boy would slightly turn around to look at you, which would then prompt you to smile back at him and watch him get shy.

You continued to grade papers until the barista came by with another cup of coffee. You were confused since you did not order another cup of coffee and as you looked at the cup of coffee, you saw a message.

Hi,

I hope you have a good day.

I am sorry for staring, but you are too pretty.

-Kim Youjin

P.S Text me xxx-xxx-xxxx

You kept looking at the coffee cup and started to blush. This was the boy who was looking at you all day. The guy with alluring eyes name is Kim Youjin. You looked up to see if you can see Youjin, but he was gone.

As Youjin walked out of the cafe, he sighed in relief.

“You did it, Hyung! You did the impossible” Inseong jumped.

Youjins heart was beating quickly and he smiled. “Yes, I did it! I couldn’t miss that opportunity.”

Inseong kept jumping while walking to the dorm. “You think she is going to text you?”

Youjins stopped walking. “I have not thought about that. I hope she does.”

“Guess it’s the waiting game, Hyung.” Inseong said while opening the door to the dorm. Youjin hated waiting, especially if it's a pretty girl like you.

That night Youjin could not sleep, even if his life depended on it. All he could do was just lay there and think about you. He was happy to see you again, but the fact that you smiled at him 5 times that day made him feel like he was on cloud nine. Another thing that came to his mind was when he was going to hear from you? Was he too bold? Did he scare you off? Or were you not interested in him? No, he told himself. She is going to write to me, it’s just that she is busy with work and school.

Meanwhile, you still looked at the cup with the cute message he had left you. It was your 20th time reading it and you were smiling like an idiot. You took out your cell phone and saved his number as Cutie from the Cafe, as you laid in bed thinking of what to write to him. Should I tell him he is cute too, or compliment him on his fashion, or maybe say thank you for the coffee? Is it too late to text him? You looked at the time and saw that it was 2:43 AM. Well, I can write him now and he can respond in the morning.

You started texting him with a simple message:

Hi, Youjin my name is Y/N. Thank you for the coffee. :)

You stared at your cell phone for a few more minutes until you had the guts to hit send.

BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP

Youjin slowly opened his eyes and realized it was his phone. Who could be texting him this late? If it’s one of his brothers, or Seungjun asking if he could go to the convenient store with him, he might have to punch them later. He looked at the number and it was contact that Youjin did not know, but he knew who it was from.

#keunakeun scenarios #Keunakeun scenario #KNK #keunakeun #kim youjin #youjin #youjin scenarios #youjin scenario #knk scenario #knk scenarios #cafe part 2 #mine

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mtamarindo55 · 7 years

Text

Monsters (2010)

I remember hearing a lot about this movie especially with movies like Godzilla and King Kong being talked about in the past years. But not sure why it was being brought up with those movies, after seeing it its more along the lines of District 9 and a super light Cloverfield.

Heads up there’s a lot of Spanish spoken, there is a character translating but even with English subtitles, you’ll get the subtitles saying the stuff in Spanish as well. You’ll still understand the story I think, for a moment I thought they had reviled a plot point twist in Spanish, but its no big deal, if anything its more of a comment about how people’s lives aren’t really of importance, its all about the money. So some social commentary for ya.

In short, Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy) has to escort his boss’s daughter, Sam Wynden (Whitney Able) from Mexico to the USA, but the area in between has been closed off due to alien activity.

So don’t let the name fool you, there’s hardly any monsters, and death. So I’d describe it closer to District 9 where you see how the population of people have been adapting to this new life with the aliens being a threat.

There were moments of I guess you could call it stupidity, like Kaulder being super trusting with his fancy belongings just out of his sight (his shit gets stolen twice). And I didn’t really care for the whole love thing, it was clear the characters had a history, no sane person goes running off when the guy who’s escorting you slept with someone, but she makes it a big deal. I had a laugh where they are both just outside a convenience store watching these monsters communicate with each other I guess. Like my ass would be trying to slink back inside, and MAYBE take a peek from the safety of a corner id be hiding in. And Sam going “I don’t wanna go home” im sorry, but lady you guys trekked thru some shit, and saw people get slaughtered, your getting your ass home, and if you seriously love this guy for some reason, just break up with the fiance, doesn’t have to be the last time you see this dude. Seriously didn’t care for the love thing.

One thing that bothered me was that thru out the whole movie it was stressed that it wasn’t safe at night, that that is when the creatures come out, but here a crew of army people come in to pick up TWO CIVILIANS, (like if this was like Resident Evil 4, Leon escorting the president’s daughter, I’d get it, but this is just one rich person and a dude). If anything, the dispatcher would be like, cool, stay where you are, hunker down, we will pick you up in the morning. But then it had to lead to the beginning that was our ending, where things don’t look well. I’d guess they are ok, and Sam is just knocked out in the beginning, but it would all depend on how big are air strikes, I don’t know so I’m leaving it up to that detail.

The movie is ok, has its problems, but I like the idea and the feeling of it, love when monster movies show people dealing with the issues of a monster(s) attacking and uprooting people’s lives.

#Monsters #movie #2010 #ramblings

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pbb-kimmy-blog · 4 years

Text

Charlotte is a 19year old from originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo but was raised in India. Charlotte moved to Malaysia in 2018 to pursue a degree in Law from one of the Malaysian Universities. Charlotte tells her story of why she got into the Miss Africa Malaysia pageant and how the entire experience was and much more about studying in Malaysia.

Why did you join the 2019 Miss Africa Malaysia pageant?

I joined the pageant because my mother always wanted me to join a pageant and my friends motivated me to join it so I thought it would be a nice idea to join as I could challenge myself, fulfill my mom’s wish and get an experience.

What was your experience being in a competition like this?

it was an amazing, fun and inspiring experience as i got to learn new things, meet the lovely girls who i now call my sisters, doing the fun tasks and the best part of this competition was the chill trip, catwalk challenge and the reunion party which made us bond more with each other.

What was going through your mind when you were announced winner of the 2019 Miss Africa Malaysia Pageant?

To be very honest I almost gave up hope, I was scared because the competition was very tough as all the girls were very amazing, so when my name was announced it was a little surprising to me it took me a while to process what just happened mentally but overall i was very happy.

What responsibility does this crown come with and how does it affect or improve the African community in Malaysia?

The responsibility that comes around with the crown is to be a good representative of not just your country but Africa as a whole, i feel like with this given platform and opportunities we have to represent Africans well, try to bring Malaysia and Africa closer and hopefully try to change their perspective on Africans in a positive way.

How do you manage being a Student and handling such a huge responsibility in a foreign country(Malaysia)?

thankfully most of the work/events for me are during the weekends or when i don’t have classes so it is easier to manage those two together.

STUDYING IN MALAYSIA

Why did you choose Malaysia as your study destination?

my friend studies here so she suggested my mother to send me to Malaysia, also the fact my mom have heard alot about Malaysia from her colleagues made her want to send me here, at first i did not want to come here because i wanted to study somewhere in Europe as it would be easier to work part time there while studying and not be too dependent on my mom, but later i did my research on Malaysia also keeping in mind that its near India so i can easily visit my family, travel around Asia and attend kpop concerts in Malaysia so those factors made me agree to come to study here and to be honest i am glad i agreed to coming here.

What institution do you study?

I study UK Law at Help university in Kuala Lumpur (Damansara Heights)

Why did you choose this institution?

I chose to study at help because they have the UK degree transfer programme which is something i wanted to do as it would allow me to have a UK degree, another reason is the price is pretty affordable, i liked how the website presented themselves and my friend who was doing my admission process here told me it is a nice reputed university for my law programme. lastly i got a little catfished as i thought my campus will be the subang 2 one but it turned out to be the Damansara one, but so far i do not regret studying at Help.

What do you enjoy most about studying in Malaysia?

I have so many reasons for why i enjoy studying in Malaysia first one being the people, people in Malaysia are super friendly and helpful. I get to experience a more diverse environment as compared to India. The food in Malaysia is amazing as there is more options and cuisines to try on i’ve put on alot of weight since i came to Malaysia because the food, the Love of my life is Nasi Lemak. the student environment is very nice i met alot of amazing people here being my housemates, my classmates, my friends and everyone from the pageant. i feel more safer in Malaysia, it is beautiful, you’ll have more things to do in the weekend and if i have to sum it up in short You can never be bored in Malaysia.

Are there any negatives or things you wish you had known before coming to study here?

So far i do not have any negative thing that i wish to have known before coming here as this place have been treating me well since the day i have arrived to Malaysia. every country have its own good and bad people and we cannot fit everyone in one box, there could be misunderstanding between the locals and the foreigners specially us Africans because of our language differences (not everyone but with the ones who cannot speak english). i think what makes it difficult for us is the stereotype of Africans which i believe it can be changed by Us, we can show that not everyone is the same and we are actually good people. i think alot of these stereotype comes from lack of exposure because in some cases you could be the first African they have spoken to so it would be nice to leave a good impression on them to try to break those stereotypes

What kind of places do you think foreign students should avoid to guarantee their safety?

i am not sure because i don’t know much places here yet as i barely go out but i believe places that you know might get you in trouble should be avoided.

How do you commute to school and how would you rate the transport network in Malaysia?

i use the school bus which is free to go to my uni so that is an advantage for me. the rapid kl trains like mrt, lrt etc are very convenient specially during the high time as there is alot of traffic in the evening and some train stations are inside the places you’ll want to go example klcc mall, the curve or the airport so you won’t have to walk too far or take taxi’s for some places like that. but when it comes to roads here during the evening there’s too much traffic specially if it rains the grab prices go high and the other thing is if example a driver misses a turn then they’ll have to drive a long way to turn because of the road system. but overall i think its fine.

What is the cost of living in Malaysia compared to your home country and what are the things you consider cheap or expensive?

i did not live in my home country for long so i cannot really tell but if i compare it to the times i went for holidays there Malaysia is cheaper than Congo.

How are you able to meet up with the cost of living in Malaysia? And what options are available for foreign students?

Malaysia is a very affordable country, the prices of basically everything is low starting from groceries to rent, it is easy to live here as you would not need alot of money to survive unless you want to live like a Kardashian then that’s totally up to you but yea basically its affordable but it would be a really good opportunity if Foreign students could get an opportunity to work part time as our visa’s prohibits us to work, because sometimes we students go through financial crises and not everyone wants to depend on their parents for every little thing, so giving us an opportunity to work part time would be nice so that some people won’t have to try to earn money in wrong ways.

Now that you are already here, what do you think about studying in Malaysia?

i have not lived in other Asian countries except India and Malaysia and so far from my experience i can say Malaysia is a great place for student. environment wise and the facilities in universities, you get to see more diversity not just from different African countries but different Asian countries and others as well, Malaysia is a very welcoming country and the most important thing living here is very affordable but one thing that i wished was here is part time opportunity for international students.

What advice(s) can you give to a prospective international student who desires to come to Malaysia for studies?

all i would advice to someone who desires to come to Malaysia for studies is that when they come here they should avoid being in a bad crowd or involve themselves in things that would get them in trouble, be respectful and try to understand the locals perspective, every country has good and bad people. i would recommend them to study here because Malaysia is an amazing country with good people, nice infrastructure and specially delicious food.

Miss Africa Malaysia 2019 – Charlotte on being an International Student in Malaysia Charlotte is a 19year old from originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo but was raised in India.

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survivorinternational · 5 years

Text

Episode 1 - "You are an evil psychopath... but I kinda dig it." - Veni

STEPHENS BACK

I love love how these tribes are split up but I’m kind of nervous about playing with people I’ve played other things with before! There was only one person I didn’t already have added and that is Daniel. I’m just going to try to stay on everyone’s good side and maybe try to get close with everyone? I think that we are going to have a strong tribe so that’s a plus!

Israel is not in Europe

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So since this is "International" I decided to call everyone in our tribe be either their home country or town. So Clash is Richmond. Vilma is Oulu. Ginger is Israel. Allan is Scotland. I have yet to talk to Latvia but they appear as a very busy person. So it's Day 2 right now and I have just woken up. Me and Oulu stayed up 'till 6 AM last night just talking and chilling. I really like her so I hope we can make it far. I also like Richmond because that is a cool name so we established a 3-person group. Richmond insists on repeating F3 every 5 minutes which is pretty scary but I'll just disregard it for now. I am enjoying the diversity of our cast, proud to be a European seeing as the other tribes are basically just Australia and just USA. Right now I'll try to put some work into this flag I guess since nobody has taken initiative.

So its off to a relatively good start, I’ve talked with 3 other tribe members and they seem pretty cool, i got a good rapport with Tyler and Jacob especially. They also had good input into the challenge to so, yay. The other to however haven’t spoken, and we can’t blame time zones cause their like, at most an hour seperate. Be careful Sluggyg and Dylan, we lose a challenge we’ll be looking at you. I’m not gonna pm them first though, trying not to come off too needy yet, I’ll give at least some pretense of not being absolutely bonkers.

Good lookin. Nah jk. So I have to admit I was a late bloomer in terms of speaking in the group chat and I conveniently missed the people I didn't know - Tyler, Dean. I have a history with Jacob and I know Michael from a previous community so I have hit the ground running with the idea of sticking together but nothings too solidified yet so hopefully in a bit I'll find myself in a majority! The only thing Stephen said to me so far is "heyo" and "ya I teach english", so..

Ok so Hi. I hate u all why am i here. Im nervous cause im out here trying not ti be the first boot and have to have my dog comfort me while i cry to sleep. Literally shaking in slides. Everyones a bit of a hoot, all male tribe! Wowee. Just going be pals with all these kiddies. Although the flag they made is literal trash, ill be nice :)

hey boys time for my first confession that will be longer than it should be and not entertaining in the slightest so the cast reveal was interesting! i wasn’t expecting many familiar faces at all, maybe like one or two people i sort of know of. but when i saw ruthie and randy, i was honestly relieved. ruthie and i have always been good allies together in games and i love her a lot. she’s loyal and funny and smart. just overall wonderful person to play with and i’m really happy to have her here. also, seeing randy was so good too. honestly i know he has a ~rEp~ for being not the greatest, but i don’t particularly care. i feel like we’re going to get along really well in this game. the only thing that annoys me is that him talking to me at first was all like, “oh emily you’re so a good player i love you please don’t vote me out get me to merge xo” like he was purposefully inflating my ego because....... people generally think i have a big ego. and a year ago, yeah i definitely did. that’s why i lost both of my last two main season games. my ego got in the way and i got too confident, too cutthroat, too rude, too self absorbed. and so much has happened in my life, i’ve been taken down a few notches and the last thing i want is for people to think i’m a narcissist. i’ve worked on myself a lot and it’s just sad to see people treating me like this like they think it’ll guarantee me wanting to work with them. sigh. anyway, continuing with the other people: my skype app will NOT give me notifications when daniel or patrick send me messages and it’s frustrating me high key because they’ll respond two minutes after i send a message and i won’t see it for hours, even if i check the chat. new skype is ruining my social game yeah! but in general pat and daniel seem cool. only person i’m weary of is liana! i didn’t realize at first, but she’s married to chips who....... hates me LMAO! i’ve never played a game with her so here’s to hoping she doesn’t have an idea of me in her head already. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ other tribe comments: i saw vilma in a game for the first time like well over a year ago and was like i am in LOVE with her and i want to MARRY her. she’s so pretty and seems so funny and when we’re on the same tribe we WILL be best friends and if we’re not i’m THROWING HANDS!!! it has to happen. has to! i don’t think i recognizes literally anyone else? everyone is pretty much unfamiliar to me. so how i’m feeling right now: randy is really good at making flags! and confident that we’ll pull through with reward tbh. like he’s very talented. i’m gonna put together a makeshift flag too just in case it’s ugly and also to show that i’m active and here and contributing, but i doubt it’s going to be bad. and also it’s only reward! if we don’t win, i don’t mind it that much. my fear is that we end up going to tribal the first round! i don’t know how strong this tribe is in terms of challenges. i don’t know anything about liana, daniel, or patrick. i don’t remember anything about randy or ruthie when it comes to challenges either. so we’ll have to see! daniel told me he played on discord so he’s probably used to more text based challenges or flash games, which is very helpful because i’m bad at both. but from my experience, typical tumblr challenges are far different from typical discord challenges. yeah. also, randy and i shared our idol guesses and both found nothing. i went around camp -> shelter -> on top -> nothing and he went around camp -> treemail -> (uhhh something i already forgot lol) -> nothing. i’m gonna share mine with him every round as like a trust thing. idk if he’ll tell me the truth but i’ll tell him the truth! idc honestly! :p okay end of this long confession i hope you had fun reading if you read this far give me an idol clue xoxo emily (dennis remember in mongolia when i told you the exile idol was under a girl’s name) (i’m sorry)

So the reward challenge is a flag making challenge. I hate a lot of the things, but I am taking a step back since I have been told I can be controlling in the tribe stages when it comes to challenges. So I want to see how well the tribe performs without me stepping in.

Day one thoughs: Yes!!! A tribe full of people with similar time zones. Jacob and Sluggy are here, nice. UHC alliance has already been suggested... not sure how to feel. Talked to all other tribe members. Everyone seems nice... dont quite trust Tyler yet... seems shifty Reward challenge: Not a fan of original design. Spent a bit of time working on another design... which i had more time to make it better. Seems to be good enough, will see what tribe says. Idol search round one: nothing

me: so yeah just send me your image so I can do all the work and make the flag everyone: (by the way these confessionals will be over the top and not express my true true feelings, i.e. I'm exaggerating everything)

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The plan is to kill people with kindness! I really don't plan on winning but i'd love to if I am able to. I just hope I stay long enough to talk to most. My two closest friends are Richmond and Oulu. Oulu is super nice and we talk often so that is cool ----------

Oh lord I am actually exuding so much time in this survivor good thing it is summer geez

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Ginger spoiled 2 survivor seasons in the same message I am crying :(

So i finally got to talk to everyone on the tribe. Tyler seems rlly friendly and talkative which kinda draws me towards him. Stephen is more analytical and observant... Dean is just the passive, looks on and watches kinda guy. Both Stephen and Dean want to be or are writers so. One thing great about working with Stephen would be someone people target as a strategic threat instead of me - but I don't know if I'll be able to work well with him atm...

Okay I was gonna wait until after the immunity challenge to do my first confessional but I am DYING. So Veni is making our flag (which honestly I'm not too sure about but I'm awful at art so I can't really say anything) and he asks for pictures to use in it. So I send him a picture of me sitting on a throne, which I took at a bar near me. and this bitch..... Goes "It's like ghetto Game of Thrones, I love it!" BITCH!? Ghetto? Honestly this guy needs to take it down a notch because he's trying way too hard to take control of the reward challenge and is being super bossy and I think people aren't gonna take that for much longer.

As for the first day of this season I’m loving it so far. Loving the activity and positivity in our tribe and people here are very friendly. Already have started conversation with Clash, Vilma and Ginger. Trying to develop early relationships that will be necessary for the rest of the game. Just need to show activity in tribe chat so my tribe mates not see me as an inactive player because inactive players are usually the first one out.

So we won the reward challenge and we get a firemaking kit, and inside there's an immunity idol clue. Jacob and Stephen both get it, and Jacob told me it was hidden at the beach. I have no clue if he is lying or not, but if he isn't it means God was right to tell me yesterday that it is at the beach. Now i just need to be the first one to search the next time around.

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So talking with Stephen, he seems to say the word "snazzy" a lot, so I've nocknemaed

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Oops i didn't finish...I nicknamed him "snazzy Stephen". What's Snazzy Stephen gonna call snazzy today!?

So we won the reward challenge! Great. The morale seems fairly high amongst our tribe. I've had conversations with pretty much everyone in some way. No talk of strategy or alliances have begun, from what I'm aware. I hope we win this challenge, because I feel good about this tribe.

I mean, can I not flop this first challenge ? I feel like this tribe is a very good mix of people, chemistry is there so now we just need not to be total failures ! hehe

After all the bonding I love this tribe, Dean is a lot more reserved than the rest of the tribe and hasn't approached me yet, but everyone else has talked. I've got a nice alliance with Michael and Sluggy, as well as some trust with Tyler and Stephen. After Michael won us the firemaking challenge I found the idol clue. Once everyone has used their firemaking advantage, I'll decide who I share the clue with. So far I have told Sluggy and then Stephen got the clue. All Giraffes Deserve Kisses.

Usually I wouldn’t mind going to the first tribal, but with 6 people all it takes is one misstep to be the target, and I don’t want to risk that. That being said if it does come down to that i think Jacob, Tyler and I will stick together, all we need is one more than that.

looking over the whole cast, I realised I know Dani & Sluggy from other survivors that's cool

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I got 30 point something seconds like 3 times I hate fairdyne

So basically I've talking quite a bit with Emily and Randy, they're great people. Overall people are super nice, it's awesome! The Ala Mai flag winning is bullshit though what kind of judges were those? I'd have been fine with Faatasi winning, that's a nice flag, but Ala Mai's was ugly af sorry bros

So, Emily and I are working together to try to find the idol! Which is exciting, hopefully one of us will find it. If I do I’m pretty sure I’ll tell her because it will show that I trust her?!! I talk to her and Randy the most on our tribe and I really don’t know where I stand with everyone else

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i got a big fat 0 for the team but I’m glad our tribe won! Everyone else did great. Hopefully no one points out how weak I was in the challenge. I’m going to savannah for the night tomorrow so I’m glad not to worry about tribal council while I’m out of town! Yay for not being the first boot!

ok see I am here to win but I got ginger on my tribe!! we love us a good ol rival so yeah even though he's acting fake and said he wants work with me I can't trust him with that I have built a good connection with Veni and Vilma and hope they will stay loyal as well. I am worried about the tribal as my score was bad but lets hope for the best

Right. So we’ve just won the immunity challenge but all the rats on my team did well so it doesn’t give us an easy target for any upcoming tribals. I got some T from Michael letting me know that both Jacob and Dean found the clue to the hidden immunity idol and they told him but not me. First off rude considering I told Jacob I’d tell him if I found it. I’m in an uncomfortable situation already on this tribe, I feel like i don’t have as strong of connections as everyone else and it’s scaring me. All I need is two friends to guarantee my safety and it’s looking like those friends will be Michael and The kid from Singapore (don’t remember his name oops). This season feels different, I usually feel powerful but Rn I feel like I’m having to push to navigate my way into relationships with people. Also some of these guys on my drive give off the arrogant and cocky vibe and I hate it.

Only one in my tribe to win a challenge, got the r/ultrahardcore alliance, everyone knows the idol clue because Michael got looser lips than Mia Khalifa.

I *think* we're voting Emils? I mean he's been the least active and from I've been told he has not talked to people much (including me) so. I hope it goes well. Usually I am pretty calm in the survivors I play but goddamn I am paranoid. Maybe since I am enjoying myself so much so I don't want to go yet?

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Logically I won't be voted out here, right? I've talked to basically everyone a fair bit, I did the whole flag and I got 2/2 possible points. I'm safe.. right?

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Here is veni's power rankings of the people in my tribe: 1. Oulu 2. Tel Aviv 3. Richmond 4. Allan 5. Emils

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So I re-read my Fairy Survivor S2 stuff I wrote pre-game and goddamn if I am not a broken record. I am basically doing the same thing this time I love it lol. I do hope the experience I got in the year and a half between those has taught me valuable lessons.

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Tel Aviv has really high gamesense and sense of strategy. We both discussed how important it is to have that one loyal person to win. I hope he implies I am his. For me it's Oulu I think

Okay so the first round is almost over. Thankfully my tribe was able to win immunity because I am not ready for tribal that's for sure! These small tribes freak me out. But...if we do end up going to tribal I am ready because I FOUND AN IDOL! I'm a little skeptical because it was way too easy and so I'm scared everyone has an idol but we shall see. I'm really terrible at games in the beginning because I hate awkward small talk so I was definitely scared of tribal. I'm not in any alliances yet but hopefully that is because it is still early. I'm trying to prove myself an asset and I was glad I did great at that shark game. It was very challenging to play because I had my baby smashing my keyboard or mouse and closing out of the game in the middle of playing, ahhaha.

Day 2: Won Reward challenge!! WOOT!! All that effort wasn't for naught. The /r/ultrahardcore alliance was made between Sluggy, Jacob and myself... Im not sure how I feel about this. Immunity challenge announced, Flash games while I'm at work. FUCK FLAPPY BIRD I can do this Hextris and Shark game... I will submit one of these. Fire lighting challenge, I fail at striking a light. Sluggy and Jacob tell me that Jacob has an Idol Clue, it is apparently on the beach. Continue my chats with everyone. Dean also tells me about the Idol clue, either its on the beach and people trust me or there is an alliance that is fabricating stories. Work out everyone but Tyler knows about the clue so I tell him Gained Tyler's trust End day 2 Day 3: We win Immunity, YES!!! I spent the day continuing to build relationships. Mention to Jacob the Tyler doesnt think he likes him and to win Tyler's trust Jacob told Tyler about the clue, but it seems to only further distrust as he waited so long to tell him about it. This could have made Tyler distrust me more as well... Working with Jacob could be dangerous down the line. /r/UHC needs a 4th... Dean and Tyler's names are suggested. Trash talk hosts in tribe chat all day. Im worried my chattiness may put a target on my back, will need to be careful. End Day 3

I’m loving my tribe and our female avatar presence. Whoever is rob Mariano I kind of want to vote out though. I’m super glad we won immunity and I don’t have to try super hard to be chatty. Loving the format so far

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HI I'M VILMA AND I'M VERY EXCITED TO PLAY I also suck at making confessionals because they take a lot of effort for my Finnish speaking ass so I like to just copy bits from my host chat, be prepared Right off the bat I was confused because I didn't get cast with anyone I would've played with before. I recognized a few familiar faces but most people I have no frame of reference for. This meant I couldn't rely on riding with any pre game relationships and I had to actually socialize with people. Thank god we didn't have a one world phase this time around so I only had to keep up with five other people! Clash playing hard right off the bat I specced his season so I know he was a big moves type of guy haha I wanna make sure I'm on his good side My tribe is very active But I'm Very Scared Of The Zwooper People They tend to be crazy And I'm not about that crazy life at all I CAN'T EVEN WITH VENI WHERE DOES HE GET ALL HIS JOKES FROM I LOVE HIM Alright I think Veni and I are the only ones left awake And He is my favorite I've talked to everyone except the Latvian guy or was he Lithuanian THE BALTIC GUY Ginger and Clash both seem like people I need to be wary of Power players for sure, and good socially And according to Clash they have bad blood from previous games So I can see them targetting each other if we go to tribal And Clash already made a three way alliance between myself him and Veni Which I'm okay with, as of now Veni I definitely want to work with And I prefer staying on good terms with Clash Allan I have neutral feelings towards, only talked to him a bit so far But I stan the Europe tribe I just can't keep up with multiple convos at once so it's been super confusing Already shared my idol guesses with Veni and Clash I think I'm the only girl on my tribe Not a big fan of that fact Really wanted to play with Emily I hope we both make it to a swap so I could meet her Chatting with these people I've started to realize how much I abuse caps lock and exclamation points It's a really bad habit Should probably tone it down, everyone must be thinking I'm screaming at them constantly I'm playing so different compared to how I usually play I usually never initiate convos And try to step up as little as possible While still being friendly with everyone But now I've been very social It's weird Feels like I'm harassing everyone ... Unfortunately, we lost the first immunity challenge ... YIKES I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST BOOT CALLING IT NOW HOW TF DID THEY GET 6 MILLION I think Emils might be the target Which I'm okay with since he seems to only be online a bit in the evenings Everyone knows I hate losing challenges so I want active people He seems really nice though, but seems like everyone has talked to him the least Clash told me that him and Ginger have decided to leave their past behind so I guess they're not going to target each other just yet I'm glad he's telling me this though it makes me trust him a bit more But I'll still keep my eye on both of them _ Ok hi I'm checking in about an hour before tribal and as far as I know Emils should be going home tonight. It's been super quiet around camp though and it makes me feel paranoid, but I hope it'll be an easy first vote. Veni wants me to make a chat with him and Ginger so we could solidify we make it through next round if we end up having to go to tribal again. My issue is I think Clash and Ginger are closer than they seem and I'm scared if we made a chat without Clash and he found out about it he could become angry. That's why i'd rather it to be a four-way chat between me, Veni, Clash and Ginger but we shall see what happens in the next few hours I guess.

Okay that went perfectly. Ngl when Ginger was like "someone doesn't know it's them tonight" I FREAKED. Then my name gets written down at tribal and I was like ????. I mean luckily it wasn't me but god that was scary. I really hope we win this next immunity I can't deal with that stress rn lmao. I also have no clue who I'd vote out. Also in other news, Chase is cute af! I'm gonna be so embarrassed when he leaves and is able to read this but it's true. I definitely wanna keep him around for a bit lmao.

jesus christ ginger you are an evil psychopath.. but I kinda dig it

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also I am mostly done with location based names.. for now

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