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pagannatural · 18 hours

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2.13 Houses of the Holy

- Religious plot begins in earnest. Sam is Able and Eve and original sin and also Christ dying for those sins. He is Dean’s disciple. Dean is Cain and Adam and the Holy Spirit and God. Their conflict is destiny/blood/family vs free will/choice/love, the pure vs the tainted vs the merely human. The muddy non-dichotomous nature of love and of good and evil.

So far the question of the brothers saving each other and the world has been self-contained: only Dean can save or kill Sam, and in doing so, himself. In other words only Sam can succumb to evil and damn his brother or retain his humanity and his brother. Their struggle is religious by definition. Religion in supernatural is characterized by the trinity of good, evil, and human, and the brothers are twin souls who need each other to stay human. Sam needs to overcome his shame and belief that he isn’t chosen, that he doesn’t belong; Dean needs to overcome his guilt and belief that he can never be enough. The threat of them losing their humanity and free will is literal as they will learn they’re destined to become vessels, but they don’t know that yet.

- Dean is lying on the motel bed listening to “Hair of the Dog”. Right when Sam walks in these lyrics are playing in his ears:

Heartbreaker, soul shaker/I've been told about you/Steamroller, midnight stroller/What they've been saying must be true

These lyrics pertain to Sam and his fate. This song was chosen very intentionally, it’s shown on Dean’s iPod screen. It’s foreshadowing. And Sam is Dean’s heartbreaker soul shaker.

Sam stands there next to a partition decorated with burlesque silhouettes of women, watching Dean’s body being shaken on the bed. It’s kind of a weird image. Dean looks like sleeping beauty the way the bed is lit. Or like a main course.

“You’re enjoying that way too much, it’s kind of making me uncomfortable” Sam says while looking up at the wall behind Dean exactly like he did when he was trying to avoid staring at Dean’s ass in an earlier episode. Very heaven-help-me.

His discomfort seems like attraction. I want to break down this scene because it’s played as a joke, like it’s funny that Dean is so hedonistic, but he’s essentially just using the massage function on the bed. He’s fully clothed and he’s listening to music, just chilling. He’s bored. So the joke is either that this isn’t really that intimate and yet Sam is so uncomfortable for Some Reason that he’s having a hard time looking straight at Dean, or that Sam really has walked in on an intimate moment and he responds by staring and going up to Dean all flustered and asking him to stop. Either way, Sam is watching Dean experience pleasure, and gulping because of it.

It highlights that Sam is uninterested in sex, and food, and pleasure in general, and it bothers him that Dean is. Sam later calls it Dean’s “sick habit” and tells him he’s like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies.

I noticed recently that even in the pilot, Sam is shown kissing Jessica and acting loving with her, but the shot of them in bed has them apart and Sam facing away from her in his sleep. It’s Dean who ogles her in her underwear. Sam has been shown clinging to Dean, sleeping facing him, checking him out, and chastising him for his womanizing. The one woman he kissed was for Dean’s benefit. Sam’s relationship with his sexuality is consistently shown linked directly to Dean. Maybe exclusively to Dean at this point.

After this exchange, Sam goes into the bathroom and washes his hands for Some Reason. Because he’s feeling unclean?

-interesting how the killers’ houses shake like there’s an earthquake before what they think is an angel appears to them- the second guy is even lying on his bed when it starts shaking. Dean is on his shaking bed when Sam appears to him at the motel, like Sam is his angel.

-Dean says Sam has him on lockdown. So Sam insisted that Dean stay back for his safety. He’s looking out for him, always asking Dean to stay safe.

-Sam believes in angels and god because of the monsters they hunt, Dean doesn’t believe in angels or god because of the monsters they hunt. The difference in the way their beliefs developed is that Dean believed in angels as a small child until his mom burned to death and he learned monsters are real, whereas Sam was certainly never encouraged to believe in religion and had to find something to cling to in the chaos and uncertainty of how he was raised. Sam felt unclean or like something was wrong with him so he tried to separate himself from the monsters. Dean believed he wasn’t good enough so he chose not to believe in a god that was a disappointment and that he believed he would surely disappoint.

- Sam tells Dean he prays every day, which Dean didn’t know. He acts like this is some kind of betrayal. I think the betrayal is literally just that he didn’t know and he wants to know every single thing about Sam.

-Sam collapses after seeing what he thinks is an angel, and Dean gets on his knees to put both hands on him. He keeps touching him when they’re walking out. He hauls Sam to his feet bodily.

This frame is so good because Dean is glaring at the angel statue and Sam is looking up at Dean.

Sam wants to be chosen by an angel. He thinks that would mean he’s good. He felt left behind and second-best by his dad, and felt that Dean would choose hunting and John over him for much of his life. He realizes now that Dean chooses him.

-Dean makes sure the woman he saves is okay and has a cell phone and tells her to call 911 before he runs after her assailant. He cares more about the wellbeing of the victim than he does about catching the bad guy.

-when Sam says “you were right” Dean gives him this look that’s so full of love, it’s plain that Dean doesn’t care about being right. He just sees his little brother in pain and wants to make it better.

-Sam sits down so that he’s looking up at Dean during their conversation. He has tears in his eyes talking about wanting to be saved. Dean tells Sam “I’m watching out for you”

Sam doesn’t doubt Dean’s dedication to him and desire to protect him. But doesn’t think Dean can save him, and more importantly he’s afraid he can’t save himself. He sees Dean as fundamentally good and strong but he also harbors judgment toward Dean for needing him. It’s protective for Sam to not need anyone, which is why his arc deals with the isolation of shame. Religion can’t save him because it doesn’t make him believe he is good, and because ultimately it leaves him alone.

-Dean tells him that he witnessed “God’s will” the way that the perp was just killed in front of him. He’s letting himself hope and giving Sam hope. They’ve both seen so much chaos and evil, they need to believe there’s good and meaning in the world. Dean’s doubt challenges his beliefs about the world and himself, and it’s his words that give Sam the hope he needs.

-episode is about lost souls and purpose. A series of people who the show depicts as lost are given a sense of meaning and belonging to something bigger than themselves, but the problem is that they don’t question it—they simply obey, acting as if without free will. They’re wrong, but they’re happy and full of certainty. Sam and Dean are lost too, but they’re unable to have blind unquestioning faith. The result is that they do good: Dean protects and shows kindness to a woman who was attacked, Sam facilitates a way for a spirit to be put to rest. But they have doubt, which means they also have fear. And they’re left knowing that they have themselves and each other. It’s meant to be complicated and frightening and painful because that’s what it means to be human, and that’s where love and compassion live.

#supernatural #supernatural meta #samdean #Sam and Dean #wincest #spn meta #spn 2x13

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glitterparpaing · 2 years

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really starting to get into david bowie AND jack stauber (which are like... not the same) i can feel that the spooky season is coming close i just can FEEL IT

#y.eah. horrorrrr. hh. h.#ive been passionated abt horror for the past few years and jack stauber Does The Job #and david bowie.... well #he's like a gender to me #and maybe if i listen to his music non-stop i can become him #genderly talking. i do not want to try drugs #so yes #september is the start of spooky season for me #it's in a month i got some time to prepare #also hmu if u think horror doesn't have to be scary and can just be deeply unsettling #bc my guys. my body is a jumpy boi. my nerves are a pulled rubber band that is waiting to be let go #and i found out i didn't need to jump to think #yeah n e ways

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acidsoju · 1 month

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CLASS PREZ

genre: smut, high school seniors! nonidol au, enemies to ??? (fuck buddies maybe?) pairing: class president!soobin x troublemaker!reader warnings: nsfw, dom!soobin, a lot of swearing, oral (m. receiving; f. kinda receiving), unprotected sex (dont!), unedited so probably bad writing word count: 4.4k summary: when student council president, choi soobin, becomes the terror of the whole school and you must do something to stop him.

Soobin used to enjoy his time at school. Always having been a lil’ of a control freak, when he was elected as president of the student council he felt as if he held the world in his hands, even thought it was the mere administration of students’ affairs. Still, things changed since he climbed to the top of the student’s pyramid, changed for good if you were to ask him; where you could see students running down hallways before, now there was peace and quiet and those who’d dare to break the not running rule, would have to spend hours scratching gum from down the desks.

Where you could see girls with extremely short skirts, the thin clothe flying mindlessly at their movements putting on disposal to everyone who’d walk by their thighs and, sometimes, even a sight of their panties, now if you were to break the not more than five inches above the knee rule, you’d had to endure the oldest professor in school’s lecturing.

Earrings were gone; make up, gone; comics and non-educational books inside the building, gone. Wearing earphones was a no; nail polish was a crime; no wrinkles in your school uniform were allowed to be seen. Some kids even started fearing talking on the halls, just a normal conversation between friends.

Things had to stop.

“This guy is a tyrant.”

A fist bumped against the cold, single table inside the small janitor’s room. The dim light of the mere light bulb hanging on the center of the room barely made everyone’s faces visible. Vibes were the same from that old mafia movie you had seen last night, except for the fact none of you were rich old men in their forties.

“We have to do something about him.” Beomgyu continued saying, his fist pressing down on the table, eyes looking straight into everyone else’s. “This is too much!”

“Quiet, please, we don’t want to get caught, remember.” You mumbled, your hand going up and resting over his clenched fist. You looked at the two other people in the room.

“But what can we do? I mean, we voted for him.” Said Hueningkai, arms crossed over his chest and a nervous look washing his features, the threat of being caught practically hiding and conspiring against the number one at school making him feel sick on the stomach.

“I didn’t vote for him.” Taehyun added, shrugging.

“Listen, now…” You spoke, getting up from your seat and placing your palms against the table as you leaned closer. “There must be something we can do, we need to break him, make him fall from his position.”

“I may have an idea…”

Oh, Beomgyu and his ideas; somehow you always were the only one getting the worst part.

That was what you thought as you waited at the end of the hall. The boys had cut short your skirt a little too much, more that they had promised, barely covering your ass; your lips shone thanks to the gloss you applied and that would occasionally stain the gum in your mouth whenever you’d make a balloon with it; you were sure the music from your earphones was loud enough to hear it if you passed by. Your tie hung loose around your neck and the first two buttons of your shirt were unbuttoned, showing a little the line of your breasts popping up, more skin that you were supposed to show on the sacred grounds of school.

“And you’re sure this is gonna break him?” You had asked Beomgyu once you had change into your perfect attire. He nodded, looking up and down at you, eyebrows furrowing, looking to whatever was missing according to him before offering you a piece of gum.

“Yeah, just be yourself—And I mean, a pain in the ass.”

Your head snapped to look over your shoulder when you heard footsteps coming down from the stairs. That’s him, you thought after checking at the time on your phone; the student council meeting must have ended around this time. And you confirmed it when his tall, tidy-self appeared in your vision, the widening in his eyes worthy of the cartoon’s praises. He froze in his place, three stairs before reaching your floor, and tilted his head to a side, eyes taking the sight of you completely.

Shit, you even could hear the alarms running off in his head. His eyebrows twitched, looking up from the sight of your bare thighs to your unbuttoned and loose shirt before going back at your eyes, not going unnoticed by him the way you grossly and purposely chew the gum in your mouth, making disgusting sounds. His mouth opened, probably ready to tell you were going to be expelled even though he didn’t have that kind of power in his hands, but the words were caught in his throat when you smiled, grinned, at him, your eyes beaming in mischief before looking away and making a run from him.

“He-hey! No running in the halls!”

Feeling the rush of adrenaline in your veins, you couldn’t stop the giggling that scaped from your lips as you heard his hurried steps behind yours. As some people peeked through the classrooms’ windows and doors at the noise outside in the hall, you spotted Beomgyu reaching out with a file of papers in your direction, that you quickly grabbed and shot them up, papers spreading all over the hall as they fell. You stopped before the stairs at the other end of the hall and looked over your shoulder, caughting Soobin’s angry stare glued to you; his eyes, again, widening at the realization of your next move.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, don’t-

Pressing down your thighs over the cold railing, you lifted your feet from the floor and suppressed the urge to squeal as you slid down, hair flaying back. It had been some time since last time you slid down a railing, probably since you were fourteen, but it was just as riding a bike.

You still could hear Soobin’s footsteps following close behind you, trying to get a hold on you, so when you reached the last floor, you didn’t stop running and instead, hurried your pace. Soobin stopped trailing you when he saw you exiting the main building and turning on a corner around it, loosing the sight of you. He panted, anger flushing his veins, his ears fury red; lucky for him, as he fixed the slid down frame of his glasses he spotted at his feet a pair of earphones that, oh so responsible of you, had a small tag with your name on it.

The plan didn’t go as you hoped: Soobin’s tyrant habits didn’t stop nor lessened, but you had had so much fun and, one thing you noticed was that things around school sure were so much lively since the rumors of your little performance from a few days ago had spread all over the school.

“Damn, what I would give to see the look on his face!” Exclaimed Beomgyu with daydreaming eyes again and again, fascinated when you had told the boy all about the president’s reaction.

“Maybe next time you should dress up-

Words hung in the air when your classroom’s door opened a few minutes before class was supposed to star. Of course, it wasn’t your professor; the coquettish giggling from some other students gave it away. The student council vice-president, Yeonjun, wasn’t even half-terrible or intimidating as the president was, but still if you were ever to caught him moody, god, it was the end for you.

You hoped this wasn’t the case.

His cold eyes scanned your classroom and when his gaze stopped in yourself, practically hiding behind Beomgyu’s frame, a small smile draw in his pink, puffy lips.

“Y/n?”

“Fuck.”

“Y/n? When today’s classes are over, the student council president would like to see you.”

Oh, oh, oh, you were so fucked.

So, after that day’s final class, while your friends hugged you goodbye as if it was going to be the last time you saw each other, you promised not to follow ever again a plan of Beomgyu, if it, of course, you were to make it alive today.

The student council’s office was on the last floor of the school building and it was as big as two of your classrooms combined. You heard some talking inside when you stopped in front of the tag that read ‘student council member’s only’, before knocking slowly against the door three times. The noise inside stopped.

For the second time of the day, Yeonjun stared at you, nodding as he opened the door and took a step aside to let you in. Some of people inside gave you one of the nastiest looks you had ever received in your life, but instead of looking away you only snarled back at them, some of them gasping at your so rabid reaction.

Soobin was there, of course, sitting down on his personal desk; hands clasped covering the bottom half of his face as his dark eyes followed you closely, like you were some kind of prey.

You stopped in the middle of the room, eyes never looking away from his.

“Leave us.” Soobin spoke calmly to the rest of the people in the room; they, of course, obliged hurriedly, giving you some more ugly stared before walking out. The last one was Yeonjun who, with a lazy and small smile on his lips, just nodded in your direction and walked away with his bag hanging from his shoulder, closing the door behind him. Your eyes went back to Soobin, whose eyes were piercing at yourself, even from behind the glasses on his face. “Sit.”

“No, thanks,” You could tell the way his stare only hardened at the mocking tone on your words. A sigh scaped his lips, before resting down his hands over his desk and leaning back on his seat, head slightly tilting back as his eyes stared holes into you, looking up and down at your clothes. “Needed something from me? I’m kinda in a hurry…”

“What a shame, then.” He licked his lips, eyebrows narrowing in fake concern. His fingers traced down a file over his desk and he flipped it open, eyes flicking to the papers inside and then started reading out loud. “Y/n, senior, nineteen years old, transferred from Daegu with your cousin Choi Beomgyu two years ago, grades average, behavior bad; sleeping at class, eating at class, non-compliance of the school’s policies, making a ruckus in the middle of the hall, taking back at teachers, sneaking from classes and I could go on and on.”

Your eyes fell open into an ‘o’ shape, mockingly. “Don’t tell me you run a background check on me, you perv.”

“Incredibly disrespectful.” He added, his eyes went up to look into yours again, putting down your file. “Now what should I do with you?”

“I have an idea,” You smiled trying to give him the best innocent look you could give him. “Why don’t I just go back home, reflect on my actions and we both pretend nothing of this ever happened, uh, prez?” Soobin cracked a big laugh at your words, throwing his head back and smiling in obvious irony at your words.

“Cute, but don’t even think about it.” He got up from his seat and walked around his desk, stopping in front of it and sitting down, arms crossing over his chest as he faced in your direction. “Since I’m a good prez who listens to everyone’s opinion before making a decision, I’ll hear yours, so you chose; we can give you a three weeks ban from school plus doubling your obligatory homework or you can do some voluntary work with the school janitors for two months.”

You snorted at the terribly, awful options you had; Soobin took in your reaction and licked his lips, smoothing the growing smirk in his lips as your mouth fell open in annoyance and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“Well, aren’t you pretty fucking nice, prez?” You snarled, eyes scrunching down at his relaxed frame awaiting an answer from your doomed-self. “This is completely your fault!”

“Excuse me?” Soobin questioned, his back stiffening. “How is it my fault that you’re such a brat?”

“You’re the fucking tight shit that wants us to roam around school like it's some kind of prison,” Soobin’s eyebrows went up and his hands closed in fists against the desk. “I mean, school supposed to be fun- “

“School is for learning.” He cut you off, his frame lifting up from his desk and talking a step closer to you. “Which, if I look at your grades, doesn’t seem like you’re doing.”

“You’re so full of yourself, shitty-head.” You took a step closer to him as well, pointing your index finger to his face, eyes throwing knives. “For some of us it’s actually hard the study part.”

Soobin snorted, his cold breath hitting against your face as you had grown closer to each other. “Agh, please! You don’t even try! All I have ever saw you do is walking around in that slutty skirt of yours and batting your eyes to whoever crosses your path.”

“Oh? What is this? Is the prez an actual perv?” You tilted your head, an amused smile growing in your face as you pushed your finger against his firm chest. Soobin’s stare becoming darker and darker each second as he held your gaze. Still, you traced up and down your finger. “Have you gotten so mad at me because you’re the only loser I haven’t let take a peek under my skirt, uh?” You pouted, mockingly feeling himself shudder under your touch.

His breath hitched when your finger went up from his chest and brushed against his neck, his Adam’s apple moving as he gulped down.

“Such a shame that your pretty face is going to waste when you have this fucked up attitude all the time,” You shook your head, disapprovingly. “why don’t you be nice for once and just let me go, uh?”

“You’re actually such a bratty slut, aren’t you?” He growled, his voice coming off lower and deeper than it actually was, making your knees weaker. His hand closed tightly around the one you held up against him. “Trying to sweet talk your way out of this? Out the mess you made?” He licked his lips, his eyes dangerously glancing down at yours, so closed to his, so pretty opened in amusement at his sudden snap. “Shouldn’t I be a good prez and teach you a lesson myself?”

You weren’t able to react on time before Soobin redirected your hand and pressed your open palm against the dump in his pants, hard, tight. Your eyes widened at his action and quickly tried to pull away, but his hold in you only hardened as he pressed your palm against him, his hips barely rubbing against the touch.

“What the fuck? Are you an actual pervert?”

Soobin snarled. “Such a pretty mouth but you only talk shit every time you open it.” His other hand went up to grab your face in between his long fingers, squishing your cheeks forcing you to pout; his hips rubbed a little harder against your palm. “Let me give your mouth a better use, okay?”

He let go of the hold on your hand against his crotch and used the same hand to unbuckle the belt of his pants that quickly fell to his ankles. Your breath got caught at the prominent bult on his boxers, making you salivate a little. Soobin noticed the look on your eyes because he chuckled darkly, letting you eat him alive with your eyes.

“You’re so quiet now, uh angel?” He mocked, his long fingers tracing down against his own clothed dick, the sight only making you weaker and weaker on the knees. His hold in your face loosened and his hand went up your head, pushing you down to get on your knees in front of him, your pretty, big eyes looking up from underneath him made him want to shove his full length right into your mouth.

And that’s exactly what he did.

You didn’t have time to catch on when he shoved down his boxer and placed the tip of his hard cock against your lips; darting open by surprise, Soobin took the opportunity to thrust his hips against your mouth. A heavy sight scaped his lips as he reached the back of your hot throat that clenched around him; he watched the beautiful scene you made as your eyes filled with tears and some spit trailed down from the corner of your lips.

“So fucking prettier with my cock in your mouth.”

You groaned as he thrusted faster and harder against your mouth, traying to breath from your nose and not to react to those gag reflexes. His big hand grabbed your hair making a sloppy ponytail on his fist and started pushing you up and down his cock. His bottom lip was caught by his teeth as he panted heavily, his dick twitching inside your mouth anytime you’d whine against him.

“Such a little brat taking me so well, oh, fuck, do that again.” Soobin lips darted at the way your tongue danced around his swollen and leaking tip, tasting the pre-cum on your mouth. “Gonna cum and you better swallow every single drop, okay angel?” You hummed at him, the vibrations from your mouth on his dick sending him to heaven as his pace only fastened, his hips uncontrollably thrusting into your mouth and the grip on your hair tightening. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, take it, doll, mmmh- good.”

You mouth filled with the ropes of cum that flew hard against the back of your throat, almost making you choke but you managed to swallow everything, licking clean his dick that sloppily moved inside and outside of your hot and wet mouth.

“Show me.” Soobin said and you obliged, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue. He hummed pleased and let go of your hair. He caught the needy look in your eyes, his lips stretching into a cocky smirk as he watched you get up and pressed your tights together. Your tights that were so exposed with that little skirt of yours. “Come here.” Soobin’s arm rounded your waist and pressed you against his body, while his free hand traced down from your hips to your ass, grabbing it hard before it went down even further.

His fingers pressed against the wet, dampened clothe of your panties. He chuckled, his breath hitting your neck as he towered over you and look at the glistening on his fingers.

“My dick got you so wet, uh?” He whispered against your ear, before his plump lips nibbled down at your earlobe, making you flinch. “You were being such an annoying brat just earlier, should I just leave you like this as your punishment?”

“N-No…”

“No what, angel? What do you want me to do, then?” Soobin’s nose trailed up and down your neck, taking in your aroused odor, licking occasionally against your skin. “Use your words.”

You inhaled sharply, feeling the pressure of Soobin’s fingers against your wet folds rubbing up and down at such a slow pace. Your hips moved on their own against his hand trying to get as much friction as you could, making Soobin clicked his tongue at your actions.

“Prez, I- mh-“ the words caught in your mouth as Soobin went further with his big hand, cupping your warm pussy, his middle finger barely caressing your clit over your panties. Soobin hummed in your ear.

“Yeah? I’m listening.”

“Want you to fuck me so bad, prez.”

Soobin smirked and turned you around, walking you to his desk until your legs were pressed against it and you fell over, your legs opening as he positioned himself in between them. His large hands grabbed your tights and pushed up your skirt all the way up, his eyes devouring the sight of the dampness in your panties. His fingers slid down the waistband of your panties and pulled down, throwing them somewhere in the classroom over his shoulder.

You, on the other hand, found yourself staring mesmerized at the boy in front of you. This sight was one you never thought, never in your life it had crossed your mind, that you would be able to witness. Soobin’s plump, bottom lip caught in between his teeth, his frames slid down to the tip of his nose, his wet -always so perfectly styled- hair falling over his eyes; and his eyes, that were glued to your core in unbreakable concentration.

Oh, how bad you wanted to touch him even more.

Your hands moved on their own, grabbing Soobin’s tie and pulling him down towards you, forcing his attention back to you. One of his big hands pressed against the wood of the desk on your back, his face just millimeters from yours. You leaned in trying to push your lips against his, but he quickly moved his head down, to your lap. Your mouth fell open when his lips brushed against your wet folds.

“So, so bad, angel. You really think you’re in control here, uh?” His breath hit against your core, making you shiver underneath him. Oh, how he liked that look on your face. “I was going to fuck you because you asked me so nicely, but now I guess I should do something else…”

His hot tongue pressed flat, immobile, against your pussy; eyes flickering up to you before he started moving his muscle up and down, licking you. You moaned, head falling back, and Soobin like that sound so much that he started moving his head, painfully slowly, reaching every inch of you with his tongue; so much more skilled than you ever thought?

His tongue found your hole and he didn’t hesitate before pushing it in and out, earning more beautiful sounds from you as he only went faster; his hands grabbed hard your hips, keeping you in place against his desk. One of his hands went down, two fingers moving faster against your clit, again and again and again, while his tongue thrusted into you unstoppably.

“Ah, fuck, prez- gonna cum, mmh-“ Soobin pulled away, stopping all of his movements suddenly, making you whine in pain and shut your eyes open at his smirking self.

“You don’t get to cum in my mouth, angel.” he got up, his big hand sliding up and down his throbbing dick before placing his tip against your clit and rubbing against it making you buck up your hips. “So needy for me, I’m gonna fuck your pretty hole numb.”

Air left your system when he pushed his tip into you. Your mouth fell open at the feeling of being so filled up and your head fell back, your eyes reaching the end of your head as a loud moan scaped your lips.

“So fucking tight, angel, oh-fuck.” Soobin hissed as you clenched around him. He didn’t wait until you had got used to his side, instead he started ramping merciless against you gaining more louder noises from you. He licked his lips, focused on the spot where his balls smacked against your skin. “Oh, you’re taking me so good, isn’t this pussy made just for me, uh?”

You whined, barely caughting on any words he said and he noticed that. Groaning, he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you up, closer to him before his lips smashed against your, his tongue bullying into your mouth the same way his cock was going in you. A string of spit connected both of your lips when he pulled apart, dark eyes staring into your glossy ones.

“Out already? But I just started.” He laughed at you, only making you clench more around him. Soobin hissed but still managed to smirk at you. “Such a pretty look on your face the fucked out one, angel.”

Soobin grabbed one of your tights and stretch it up, forcing you to turn to a side as he still snapped his hips against yours. The switching position only making him go deeper in you, reaching the sweetest spot.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, prez s’good.” You mumbled, mouth hanging open. Soobin groaned and turned you around, your chest falling against the desk and your hands stretching to grab onto anything. Soobin’s hands gripped your ass hardly, leaving red marks all over your cheeks. He salivated at the sight of your ass bouncing against his hips. “Agh- fuck, Soobin, more-“

Soobin’s eyes rolled to the back of his head hearing his name left your pretty lips. His hands moved you up and down even more rabidly against his hips, the sound of wet skin against wet skin filling the room as well as your uncontrollable moans.

“Say my name, angel, fuck, say it again.”

“S-Soobin, I’m cumming, cumming, cumming, oh- god.”

You snapped, finally reaching your climax. Soobin’s teeth chew harder on his lip as you covered his dick in your hot juices, making everything even sloppier and the sounds nastiest. It didn’t take much more for him to cum inside you as well, his cum mixing with your own, his hips never stopping even thought you had both finished.

Soobin finally pulled off and you were catching your breath, when his big palm pressed against your back and his hot breath hit against your ass. His hands grabbed your ass-cheeks and pulled them apart, exposing the wet disaster on your entrance, juices mixed and dripping onto his desk. He stuck out his tongue and slurped all of it until you were clean, enjoying the tiny whines leaving your lips and the way you tried to squirm away from him.

“So good, angel.” His thump caressed your ass before he finally, very reluctantly, stepped back from you, admiring your exhausted, ruined self over his desk.

Soobin fixed his frames over his nose.

“See you next week.”

Things started to change around school; the mood was livelier, laughter could be heard around, boys made ruckuses on the halls, girls giggled between them, Beomgyu got back the comics the student council had took away from him, gum wasn’t a crime anymore and, if you were lucky, a slightly mistake on the uniform policy was overlooked.

Yeah, things were great.

“Y/n, do you have a moment after class? The student council president wants to have a word with you.” Informed Yeonjun the same day only one week apart.

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hanniluvi · 9 months

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — TEN THINGS I HATE ; JAY FIC

“ I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this. ”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ where jay keeps a journal where he documents all the reasons he hates you, his rival. despite claiming he will forever hate you, keeping this journal only makes him realize his feelings for you.

PAIRING rival!jay x gn!reader

GENRE angst, fluff — WARNINGS jealousy ; overthinking !

WORD COUNT 1.7K+ (1730)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ soph strikes again!! angst cb, did we cheer?? anyways i was in the feels okay 😢 listening to music while writing really unlocks something in ur brain im telling you…idk what really went thru my mind when making this but enjoy 😊🫶

#1 – HOW YOU’RE GOOD AT EVERYTHING.

Is it normal to have a journal dedicated to someone you hate? Whatever, I just need to get this off my chest. Whenever you’re involved, it’s like I could have nothing I want. It’s stupid, but I don’t care, it just pisses me off when you easily follow instructions, perfect things on your first try, and get all the awards I wish to have. I admit, jealousy consumes me. It's frustrating how effortlessly you seem to achieve anything you want without even trying. Seeing your achievements plastered all over the school only intensifies my anger, making me wish I could tear your posters into shreds. I've never despised second place more than now. Why can't I find contentment with my own scores or position, just like you? How can I remove you from my life and find peace within myself?

#2 – HOW CHEERFUL YOU ARE.

How is it possible for someone to remain so happy throughout the entire day? I can't help but wonder if you possess some magical influence over my friends, as they seem to shower you with compliments non-stop. It's weird to hear nothing but praise for you while I find myself complaining about various things. It's almost as if nobody comprehends why I harbor such animosity towards you, and this frustrates me immensely. Every time I express my emotions, they tell me to laugh and smile more, as if I don't already do it enough. But then, when I contemplate your cheerful and positive demeanor, it becomes clear why they encourage it. You're like the epitome of a model student everyone aspires to be, while I remain the perpetually angry and stubborn person. No wonder everyone wants to spend time with you, and perhaps that's one thing I can agree with others on.

#3 – YOU LIKE THINGS THAT I LIKE.

It's almost like a curse that we share the same interests. It's the reason I keep encountering you everywhere. Whatever I do, you seem to be there, expressing your fondness for the same things with your friends. It's frustrating, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought of encountering you even more. Even listening to music has become a challenge, as I know you like the same artists. I purposely skip their songs because they only remind me of you, and I hate being consumed by thoughts of you. I yearn to stop learning more about you so that I can enjoy the things I like in peace, without these constant reminders of you.

#4 – YOU MAKE ME OVERTHINK.

Maybe because of how perfect you seem to be in other’s eyes, I wonder how I look in other people’s eyes too. Am I that awful to hang out with? Am I always seen as this angry person who hates everyone? I’m not that, I know that–my friends do as well. But others? I’m not so sure about that. What confuses me even more is why you persist in wanting to spend time with me despite any perceived flaws or stubbornness on my part. You could easily choose to be with other people who might seem better to converse with. Yet, you continue to stick around, refusing to give up on our “friendship”. And because of this, I can see how others might form a negative opinion about me. My constant push to keep you away could be misunderstood, leading people to believe I'm simply a horrible person.

#5 – YOU LIKE ME.

I'm not sure if you have romantic feelings for me, but I can tell that you consider me a friend. It's interesting because I hadn't thought of you in that way before, but it doesn't seem to bother you. Today, you stood up for me, and it felt really heartening. Normally, I might have felt angry or vulnerable when someone defends me, but this time it was different. I don’t know, it just did feel really nice. Your quick response in telling those people to stop was captivating, even though I didn't express my gratitude at the moment. Lately, I've been struggling with the loud voices in my head, and sometimes I wonder if you could help quiet them too. But now, I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey. You confuse me a lot.

#6 – YOU GIVE THE WRONG PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES.

The other day, I saw you in tears because someone had broken your heart. I must admit, I was taken aback because I had never seen you sad or upset before. It was quite a contrast to the cheerful version of yourself that I'm familiar with. What happened to you that everyone sees all the time? I hope you had someone to tell you your problems too, as it’s not easy for someone who is your rival to be comforting you. I didn’t, so I hope you went home that night filled with less worries because you have someone to talk with.

What surprised me even more was that the very next day, you gave the person who hurt you a second chance. I can't help but wonder why you keep allowing people to hurt you when it's likely they'll repeat the same behavior, ultimately affecting your radiant smile. Stop going back to the people that hurt you once, it’s only going to be a cycle. I wish I could share these thoughts with you, but I hesitate because I doubt you'd take them to heart coming from someone like me. However, I can't help caring despite my own imperfections. It's puzzling to me as well, as you make me feel oddly connected to your feelings.

#7 – SEEING YOUR TEARS.

I never imagined how much I could despise seeing someone cry until the moment I witnessed your tears. Ever since that day, I always thought about it, so how could I let it slip out of my mind this time? I’m sorry for yelling at you today. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I didn’t mean it, I was just extremely frustrated today, and not at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know how saying this won’t do anything, but I truly mean it. I wish I could rewind time once I saw water fill up in your eyes, but what’s done is done. You made me realize something crucial—that I've always seen you as a rival, whereas you only wanted to be friends with me. I allowed my competitive nature to ruin our chances of a meaningful connection. I fear now that you might avoid me, and I understand if you do. I worry that I might continue to hurt you, just like the people you often encounter, who don't treat you with the kindness you deserve. You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry for contributing to your pain.

#8 – GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

I never imagined we'd get another chance after what happened. I tried avoiding you, genuinely attempting to keep my distance. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist reaching out to talk to you again. It's almost as if we both sensed the need to address the situation, leading us to have that important conversation. I still don’t know why you gave me another chance. Did I not say hurtful things to you? How easily are you able to put that behind? Your ability to forgive and move past it leaves me in awe.

It's making me reflect on my own flaws, especially how I tend to hold grudges and struggle to let go of negative feelings. I can't quite comprehend how you do it, but you make me think about you more than ever before. Every word I speak now feels like it needs to be carefully considered, thanks to your presence in my thoughts. Your gesture of offering another chance touched me deeply and brought a smile to my face. I can't help but wonder what you've done to influence me in this way. I think you really did something to me.

#9 – FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS.

We've connected much faster than I anticipated, even surprising my friends. I'm left wondering what you've done to me. You've become an all-encompassing thought – your smile, your laughter, your sense of humor – everything about you fills my mind. At times, I ponder whether I ever cross your thoughts too. Could this be love? My friends have mentioned it, and I can't find a way to refute them. I'm fond of you, immensely so. Isn't that a crazy twist?

It's a strange journey we're on. I started this journal to document the reasons I disliked you, but look at where it's led us. Is it too soon to be feeling this way? The idea of revealing my feelings is terrifying, yet I'm unsure if I'll ever have another opportunity. Please bear with me, allow me to find the right moment. Perhaps soon, hopefully, you'll be in my arms. I realize how absurd all this sounds – what am I even saying?

#10 – HOW EASY YOU WON ME OVER.

You won. You won my heart effortlessly, but I didn't win yours in return. I'm burdened with regret for how I've treated you. My ignorance and neglect weigh heavily on me now. It's painfully clear that he's all you've ever been able to think about. Why did I delude myself into thinking I could make a difference? If only I had treated you with the kindness you deserved from the start. Could that have made you love me instead? These thoughts haunt me.

I've grown aware of my own attachment, and I'm sorry for allowing it to consume me. I apologize for the disruption I've caused in your recent weeks. I can't bring myself to be genuinely happy for you and him, though he does seem like a better man than I could ever be. It's evident that I need to move on for your sake, to make things easier for you. Yet, there's a part of me that wishes I could still claim you as mine. That longing will always remain unchanged.

I doubt you'll ever stumble upon this journal entry, not that I would ever permit anyone to. But regardless, I want you to know that I do love you. It's a truth that's etched deeply within me, even though it pains me to admit it.

💭 — fun fact this was supposed to have a happy ending until i pulled out spotify n listened to lyn lapid…yeah.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (🎥) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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sserpente · 5 months

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A/N: Can you believe that I couldn’t bring myself to watch the Loki Season 2 Finale more than once yet? Maybe this little piece of fluff will help us heal a little more!

Words: 837 Warnings: HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON 2 FINALE, fluff

Christmas felt off. Yule felt off. You’d set up your tree, you’d decorated, you’d bought all the Christmassy food including half a dozen bottles of mulled wine and you were listening to Christmas music non-stop. None of it worked. Something was missing. Someone.

The promise that had hung from Loki’s lips remained heavy and it had clawed its way deep into your heart. You’d talked about it one night, resting after hunting down an actor-turned-TVA-agent. About your future together. About where you would go and what you would do once all of this was over.

That was before everything fell apart. Before Loki realised that the only way… no, stop.

Right now, you were baking Christmas biscuits—you were forcing yourself to. Christmas music was blasting from your phone in the background, the warm air in the kitchen smelled like vanilla and gingerbread and outside, it was snowing, making you appreciate the warm and flickering candlelight coming from the wreath on the dining table even more. You were supposed to be happy, you ought to be joyful, no? He had sacrificed everything, sacrificed himself in order to protect… to protect… it was all so complex it went above your head. All you knew was that thanks to the cheeky God of Mischief, the multiverse was free.

Thanks to him, you were alive and well, thanks to him you could live a life you’d always dreamed of having. And yet, it meant nothing without him. And yet, all you wanted to do was to break down, ram your fists into the ground over and over, and wail for the loss of your one true love.

Yule, Christmas, whatever you wanted to call it, wasn’t the same if the one person you wanted to spend it with was gone. But you knew he could see you. You knew he was watching over you. And it wouldn’t be fair to let him see your grief after what he’d done for you all.

So you swallowed it down, again and again, and, humming along to the Christmas songs, focused all of your attention on the cookie batter. It was his favourite kind. The only kind you’d be baking this year.

“Hmm… this does smell delicious. I do hope they’re all for me…”

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you flipped around, flour landing everywhere around you in the process like a smoke cloud.

For a moment, you simply stared at him, lips parted, eyes filling with tears. “Please… please tell me you’re real.”

Loki smirked, extending his arms—a smug invitation for you to hug him. “Why don’t you find out, love?”

It was all he needed to say. You all but flung yourself into his arms, face pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. No illusion. No duplicate. Him. He was actually here.

“Loki… oh gods, Loki…” The tears came before you could stop them. Worsening your sight and making you sob, you hugged him so tightly you feared to cut off his air supply. “But… how… how? How is this possible?”

“It appears that not only have I become the new temporal loom but… my powers have been feeding on the multiverse and vice versa. I became stronger and stronger until I realised I would be able to move around within it freely. I tested it, carefully, for what felt like an eternity until I was sure the threads of all the realities wouldn’t snap on me.”

“So… you’re saying the entirety of the multiverse is still flowing through you right now?”

“It is indeed. You just can’t see it.”

“You’re not going to… explode on me, right?”

“And turn into golden glitter?” He lifted your chin up, smirking and you chuckled but when his smile faltered, yours did too.

“W-what?”

“I’m sorry.”

You frowned. “For what?”

“For leaving you. For being the reason you cry yourself to sleep at night.”

Once again, your heart dropped to your stomach. “You… know?”

“Of course I do.”

“I was trying to hide it so hard…” Loki wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb, a gentle smile tugging on his thin lips.

“I know,” he said, pressing you close. “I came here as soon as I could to be sure it would be safe to do so.”

“You… haven’t seen anyone else yet? What about Mobius?”

“Mobius is with his family, setting up a Christmas tree with Jetski decorations.”

You giggled.

“No. You were the most important. And I want to spend Christmas with you just like I promised I would. And I see you have already made sure to set the mood.” He looked around, noting all the decorations around you.

Your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. “There’s no Christmas mood without you.”

Loki pulled you back toward the door threshold leading to the living room. You looked up at him, gaze wandering up to where you’d put up the mistletoe. And as far as kisses went… this one was the most magical and wondrous yet.

A/N: I'm really bad at reposting my Insta and Clock App stuff on here too and it's a New Year's resolution to change that next year so that you guys will be up to date as well but basically... I've published too books in my absence in case you were wondering why it got so quiet, lol. Aaaand I'm currently working on an English (my first English series!) paranormal Dark Romance series with demons and witches so if that's something you're interested in, do follow along, yes? ♥♥♥ We're all mad here! :D

PS: Loki becoming the wireless battery of the multiverse is my headcanon, thank you.

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myg-butterfly · 1 year

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How Many Things

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi invites you out to a party with him, and in trust, you say yes. But what happens when you lose him in the crowd, just to find him again with someone else by his side? In the midst of panic and longing, you wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to you.

Tags: Non-Idol AU, Anti-Social Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, Yoongi is an asshole for a minute, some of his friends are big time assholes, insecurities, social anxiety, lots of feelings, Teahyung and Namjoon are sweethearts, crying, jealousy, author's first fic lol.

A/N: HEY HELLO HI!!! This is my first fic that I'm publishing here so pls be gentle 🙏 And if you enjoy, leave feedback, good or bad, I love interactions. This is self-indulgent comfort that I've been thinking about for a long while and I was like ,,,,,, Yoongi got me 🥰🙏 Also this was slightly inspired by Sabrina Carpenter's "how many things" from her album EICS go listen if you want the extra angst. So yeah, enjoy!

main masterlist

You began to panic, the music was so, so loud, the clattering of dishes and glasses from the bar, the yelling, all the bodies and their humidity, it was all becoming too much, and to your dismay, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen.

You tried to recollect yourself as you began pushing through the crowd, determined on finding him. With every slip past a person, every step and stumble, you grew even more exhausted, but then finally, Yoongi came into view.

He was to the other end of the bar, a smile plastered in all his glory. Whoever he was talking to was clearly making him laugh, and just the sight of him made the tension in your shoulders ease a little bit. You were just about to call out to him, maybe even when fling yourself in his arms, but then-

Then you saw her. The one responsible for the way his face was currently scrunched with a happy grin. They stood close to each other, even as they turned the other way and moved to take a seat together at the bar. They were hand in hand, they looked like the human embodiment of perfection.

You felt your heart deflate as Yoongi pulled out a chair for her, proceeding to signal something to the bartender, the peace sign on his fingers and the pointing between him and her gave you the idea he asked for a drink for both of them. They continued to laugh and talk, and you had to force yourself to look away.

The sight of them made you remember why you hated going out, but even worse, you remembered why you vowed to not get romantically attached to anyone, especially not Yoongi.

The turning of your stomach was becoming hard to ignore, your quick breaths making matters worse. You knew you had to get out of there; with or without Yoongi. So with one last glance at him -who was still engrossed deeply in conversation with the woman next to him, leaning to whisper something in her ear and her reacting in a flustered manner- you fought your way to the door, tears beginning to spill the moment the night breeze greeted you.

As much as you wanted to just run and run and run until your body gave out on you, you knew better than to try and make it back to the dorms by foot.

You sighed defeatedly and pulled out your phone, texting the one person who you knew would be here without fail. As much as you didn't like bothering him (even though he's told you countless times you're not) you knew he'd scold you if you walked home on your own, and a scolding from him was never an enjoyable experience.

Y/N: are you busy rn?

Namjoon: Not currently. Why?

Y/N: can u pls come pick me up

Namjoon: Where are you? Are you safe?

Y/N: yeah, here's my location *📍*

Namjoon: I'll be there in less than 10. Stay put, okay?

Y/N: ok. ty joon.

Putting your phone away, you sat at the nearest bench you found, and attempted to stop the tears from falling further before Namjoon arrived.

But no matter how hard you tried, it was pretty much impossible to not think about why you were out here in the first place. Were you overreacting? Yoongi's allowed to have friends. So why are you so hurt? It's not even like you're together or anything.

In all honesty, you wanted to be mad at them.

You wanted to be mad at him for giving you even the slightest hope that there might be something more between you two.

You wanted to be mad at that girl he was with for being so damn perfect for him, for being everything that you could never begin to come close to.

But deep down you didn't have it in you to be angry at anyone but yourself.

How could you have been so stupid?

You knew that no one would want you romantically, you knew that all he felt for you was pity, that you'd never come first, and yet you still got your hopes up.

You let yourself dream that he wanted you like you wanted him. You believed all those things he said out of pity, all the reassurances and compliments, you knew that they were nothing but him simply being who he is; a naturally kind person.

You knew all of this, so why the hell were you crying? Why were you walking out and aimlessly trying to find anywhere else to go?

'Pathetic' you scoffed at yourself. You were being immature, everything everyone else had said about you was true. You were stupid to think otherwise.

Before you could continue to wallow in your self-pity, you felt a small tap to your shoulder, and you looked up to find Namjoon looking down at you.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" You quickly wiped away your remaining tears and nodded your head, standing up to greet him. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Thank you for coming Namjoon." You bowed slightly, trying your best to look well put together. "It's no problem dear. My car's this way, come on."

"You want me to drive you back to your apartment?" You both got in his car and he asked as you put on your seatbelts. "Yes, please. Thank you." He only hummed in response as he began to drive, a soft tune playing on the radio, just loud enough to make it less awkward.

Namjoon knew you probably weren't in the mood to talk, and you were grateful for the silent understanding you guys shared. You weren't awfully close, but you'd shared your own personal memories with each other, and you mutually knew the other would be willing to lend a hand when needed. That's what you liked about him. He was just understanding like that.

The drive to your apartment was short, and even though you lived on the 3rd floor, Namjoon insisted on walking you to your door.

"Hey, take care okay? If you need anything else don't hesitate to call me, yeah?" He said as you reached your door, the genuine look on his face made you tear up once more.

"Yeah. Thank you, Joon." You waved him off as you stepped into your apartment, closing the door as he began to turn around.

You immediately kicked off your heels and went to grab a glass of water. You chugged it down as if you hadn't had a drop of water in days, proceeding to open your fridge and let the waterworks begin as you realized your appetite was gone just seeing the carton of orange juice sitting there with a sticky note that reads, "YOONGI'S!!! DO NOT DRINK >:("

He'd helped you with your groceries about 2 weeks ago, and the orange juice he bought was claimed by him, protesting that he needed "emergency juice" because he was at your apartment so often.

Not wanting to look at his skrunkly handwriting anymore, you shut the fridge door and rested your head in your hands on the kitchen counter.

The more you thought about it, the more prominent the ache in your chest became. He was the one who invited you to that party in the first place. He was the one who wanted you to have fun. He was the one that promised he wouldn't leave your side. Yet here you were, back at the dorms, hugging yourself in attempts to conceal your heartbreak.

If you had gone on your own and just happened to see him there with another girl, then that would have been a different story.

But no.

Yoongi himself told you two nights ago that he was invited to a party, and he wanted you to accompany him as his plus one. And as nervous and hesitant as you were, he spurred you on, encouraging; "No matter what you wear you'll look stunning." And "Everyone will love you" and "I won't leave your side, okay?"

That one stung the most when you thought about it, because not even 15 minutes into the party, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. You could tell that most of his friends weren't too fond of you, and you felt ridiculous in the pink dress you wore.

You thought of how you'd taken hours to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not cry at your appearance made you cringe. You tried so hard to look nice, to feel pretty, to feel wanted, and it still didn't work.

You grew angrier, why weren't you good enough? What made it so hard to love you? You practically ripped off your dress, the fabric suddenly piercing your skin, your arms wiping off your already smearing makeup furiously, and you stomped to your bed, plopping down violently before letting out a strangled groan that sounded more like a whimper.

You felt like shit. Your whole night was shit.

Were you overreacting? You had been rude too. I mean, you left without even telling him. You're just as bad, right?

He's the one who left you standing there, Y/N. Your brain going back and forth until you decided that falling asleep would be easier.

"Sooo how'd it go with lover boy last night? Assuming things went well from what I saw." An overly excited Taehyung appeared at your side, a smug grin on his face as he poked your arms. You just shrugged your shoulders as a response, the mere mention of the previous night was enough to deflate your already souring mood.

"Don't give me that look, Y/N! I know you and Yoongi got it on last night!" Taehyung flailed his arms accusingly, as if waddling around would make his statements true. "We didn't get it on, Taehyung. Literally nothing happened. Nothing." You tried to remain calm as you spoke, but your patience was running thin.

"Oh come on Y/N. Yoongi was absolutely plastered this morning and you're gonna try to tell me nothing happened?" He kept on going as he shook your shoulders, and it took everything in you to not slap his hands away.

"Did he get home safe last night?" Your brows furrowed in slight worry at the mention of Yoongi being wasted, and no matter how hurt you were, you had to know if he was okay.

"Uh, yeah. Were you drunk too? I thought you guys left together. Do you not remember?" The lump in your throat was becoming harder to swallow down as Taehyung spoke. You had to be strong. You were not gonna cry over this to your poor friend who's excited.

"You know I don't drink. And, no we didn't leave together. I asked Namjoon to take me home." You hoped he'd stop asking questions, but much to your dismay- "You left with Namjoon?!?! Does Yoongi know?!?!? Did anything happen with him!?" At this point you were on the brink of tears, you hated talking about this.

"Taehyung, please let it go. I just wanted to know if Yoongi got home safely. Can we please just drop it?" Taehyung caught onto your pleading tone and the hurt look in your eyes, and he nodded with his softened expression.

"Sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to pry." He spoke cautiously. "It's okay Tae."

He shot you another worried look before returning to walking in silence beside you once again.

The rest of the day went painfully slow, your mind too exhausted to deal with walking from one side of campus to the other, and much less to pay attention to what your professors were saying.

Expectedly, you collapsed onto your bed the moment you went back to your dorm. You were gladly going to continue feeling sorry for yourself, but the ringing of your doorbell rudely interrupted you.

You groaned, hoping they'd just go away, but after a few seconds another ring came. You [grumpily] got up, running your hands through your hair in attempt to look somewhat presentable.

As you made your way to the door, you wondered who could be at your apartment, especially now that it was beginning to get late, the sun going down quickly outside.

You hesitantly opened the door, immediately wishing you would've just continued to ignore whoever was at the door once you saw who was standing in front of you.

"Hi, I brought dinner." There Yoongi stood with a soft smile on his face, lifting a brown bag in reference to dinner.

You stood stunned, wanting to say something, but your mind went blank.

"Y/N? You there?" He playfully waved his hands around trying to get your attention.

"Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry. Just didn't expect you to come by."

"Oh, sorry if I startled you. I texted you but you didn't respond, and you didn't answer last night when I called, so I wanted to come check if you were okay." He shuffled from foot to foot, worry evident in his eyes.

"Oh, just haven't been on my phone lately." You looked down, feeling unsure on how to talk to him without showing him your hurt.

"Oh alright. So, we heading in for dinner?" The smile returned to Yoongi's face, and no matter how hurt you were, you still found it hard to say no to him.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Of course."

You opened the door a little further and stepped aside to let him in.

On a normal occasion, dinner with Yoongi would've been the highlight of your day. But now, it was filled with awkward silence and poor attempts at small talk — Yoongi hates small talk as much as you, so you don't know why he's still trying — the tension in the air was hardly going unnoticed.

It wasn't until you finished eating that he decided to just rip the bandage off.

"Are you angry with me?" Yoongi asked, and you almost questioned if he was being serious or not, but the expression he held made you realize that he was in fact clueless about the hurt he put you through.

You weren't sure what to say, so you stayed silent. I mean, it's not like you were angry at him. But you also weren't too happy with him either. Yoongi felt his heart drop as your gaze dropped his own, denying him from an answer.

"Y/N? Did I do something?" He asks from across the table where he's sitting.

For some reason hearing those words from him made the tears you've been holding back so well spill over.

Did he really have no idea? Were you genuinely overreacting? Did you just make everything up in your head?

"Do you really not know?" You tried to push your voice out firmly, but it came out in a broken whisper. You wanted to look at Yoongi, you wanted to see if his face washed over with realization, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor.

"Is this about me getting drunk at that party? I thought you said you didn't mind if I had alcohol." His wording sounded harsher than he intended, but with your already weakened state, you had to hold back from full on sobbing right there in front of him.

"This is about you leaving me by myself in the middle of the party when you promised you wouldn't leave my side!" Your frustration began to take over, did he really not see it? He's supposed to know you better than anyone else.

"Leaving you by yourself? Last thing I heard, you had found yourself a new companion for the night." Yoongi scoffed, his mood souring when he recalls finding out that apparently you'd left with some other guy.

The drinks he'd had were enough to make the night slightly blurry and to make him work a little harder to recall the night's events, but unfortunately, they weren't enough to make him forget how someone had stole you away from him.

"Where did you hear that?" You asked, trying to mask the hurt you were currently feeling.

"My friends" He responded, as if that was supposed to change what you had said.

"Your friends ... the ones you introduced me to?"

"Yeah"

"Your friends really don't seem to like me." You muttered, but Yoongi somehow caught the soft mumbling.

"What do you mean? To me it looked like they were all happy to meet you." His tone remained cold, and you felt more tears forming quickly.

"Well, you weren't there with me when they all laughed at me because I'd lost you in the crowd." You tried to defend yourself.

"They're not like that, I know they aren't."

"You wouldn't know how they acted towards me because you left me alone." You continued on, his face morphing into one resembling more of guilt.

"He left you already? Didn't even last half an hour."

"They haven't even had 1 drink tonight, no wonder Yoongi ran away so fast. Prude."

You winced while recalling how they'd laughed at you when you tried asking for Yoongi, passing it off as a joke when you'd gotten visibly upset.

You softened your tone, sadness catching up with you and replacing your frustration.

"It hurt, Yoongi. You know me better than anyone. You're supposed to know me better than anyone. You know how much I hate parties and bars, how I hate talking to people I don't know, how I don't do things alone. Ever. And you know that if I made you promise to not leave my side it's because I'm not ever planning to leave yours either. Do you know how bad it hurt to be panicking only to turn around and see you having the time of your life? Especially with someone else, when you promised me that night was for you and I only? It hurt, so damn bad."

Yoongi's heart dropped at your words, had it really been that bad for you? How did he not notice?

"I didn't leave with anyone yesterday, Namjoon brought me back to my apartment and left the moment I walked inside that door. You're the one that left with someone else last night, and it wasn't me."

A thick moment of silence engulfs you, and you begin to wait for a snap, or some sort of outburst from Yoongi, but all that comes is—

"Y/N... I- Shit. That's not-" You looked up hesitantly at the sound of Yoongi fumbling his words. He ran a hand through his hair in disbelief before slowly moving closer and crouching down in front of you. "I'm so sorry Y/N. I swear didn't mean to leave you. I went to go get the drinks, I did. And then when I couldn't find you I went and asked my friends if they had seen you, and they said that you'd gone off dancing with some guy, and so I went to go look for you and I ran into a classmate, which is the girl you saw me with. And I thought, since Y/N's off with someone else, it wouldn't hurt to have a drink with a girl from my class. I wouldn't have left you if I knew that you were by yourself. I'm so sorry."

Yoongi's gaze dropped to the floor as he finished, ashamed for being the root of your tears.

"I should've known better, I- I was just so opposed to seeing you happy with someone else that I immediately rejected the idea of looking for you to avoid the possibility of someone else making your night special. And I know that's not really a valid excuse, not looking for you because I was jealous- of something that wasn't even fucking happening- it isn't fair to you whatsoever. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I truly am." He takes your hands in his and takes a moment to recollect his next words.

"What can I do to make it up to you? Even if it's just the smallest fraction, I want to show you how sorry I am. Anything you want. Please." You paused for a moment, even though your conscience immediately knew what you wanted.

Hold me. Please. Hold me. Nudge your head with mine, lock our pinkies, put your leg against mine, anything. Please, hold me.

With your brain screaming mantras of 'I need to be held', you reached out for him for a second, before your body jerked to a stop.

No. I need him to hold me. I need him to reach out. He needs to initiate- please-

Yoongi's quick to notice your body language, and equally quick to react. "Do you want to be held, sweetheart?" You swear you felt yourself physically start to glow at the sound of him uttering the words you've been dying to hear for god knows how long.

You nod your head and you're so delighted by the aspect of someone- well, not just someone, but Yoongi- comforting you, that you don't even notice the soft whimper that leaves you as he scoots closer to you.

"Words, darling." He says softly, and your body automatically responds with soft chants of "Yes, please, yes Yoongi."

You don't even notice how tears begin to fall against your cheeks again when you feel Yoongi's hands wiping them away.

"C'mere, I've got you baby. Let's go to bed, yeah?" He grabs your legs and wraps them around his torso, before he holds you against him tightly and begins to stand up with you in his arms.

You feel yourself melting at the pet names he's giving you, glad that he's carrying you because you're sure your legs would've given out on you at this point.

You continue turning to mush when you feel how gently Yoongi sets you down once you reach your bed, how he squeezes your hand and asks for permission to lay with you with his eyes, how he reaches for you under the covers and cradles you close, fingers running through your hair softly.

The bliss is only momentarily, broken when your mouth moves faster than your brain;

"Yoongi?"

"Hm?"

"Why did it upset you when you thought I was at the club with someone else?" Your question comes out as a whisper, scared for his response.

"Y/N." He pulls back a little to see your face.

"Yoongi." You reply mocking his tone.

"Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you?" He's secretly glad that it's dark in your room, otherwise you'd be able to see the blush coating his cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, and his only response is a huff while pulling your head back into his chest.

"Yoooongiiii" Your whine comes out muffled by his shirt.

"Y/nnnnnn" It's now Yoongi's turn to mock your tone.

"Answer the questionnnn"

You feel the vibrations of his chest as he mumbles something into your hair, and you would've lost it on the spot if you weren't so focused on getting an answer out of him.

"Yoongi I can't understand you when you're mumbling like a child." You chuckle slightly, not wanting to dwell on how you can feel his heart beating rapidly against you before he mumbles once again, only this time louder.

"I don't understand you for shit." At this, Yoongi lets go of you and sits up with a sigh, looking at you for a second before securing his gaze on his hands. You follow suit and sit up as well, only slightly behind him.

"I like you. I've liked you. For a really long while." His voice is so soft and it sounds so timid, you almost think you're imagining it.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Wait- that's not a good way to respond to that. Uhhh- wait." You quickly shift so you're facing him fully.

"Do you mean like as in 'you're a homie' or like as in 'you're not just the homie you're THE homie'? Because before I say anything you would have to clari-"

"Do you think I do this with all my friends?" He cuts off your nervous ramble, grabbing both of your shaky hands with his equally shaken ones.

"What specifically?"

"All of it."

"Wha-"

"The sharing food? The holding hands and carrying you and bringing dinner over and inviting them everywhere with me? The cuddling and the 'baby' and 'doll'? You know how I am about my personal space, and you know how I am about my sleep, and you know how I am about affection. Do you think I do that with just anyone?"

"Well- I don't know, I mean- I don't know what your other friendsh-"

"I don't. You're the only one that gets to see me like this. You're the only one I treat like this. You're the only one I want to treat like this. I like you. And I want to be with you. And that's why I was upset. Because when I thought you were with someone else, it made me feel as if you didn't want the same thing as me."

Before you got the chance to even begin to process, Yoongi catches himself and feels the need to justify: "Obviously if you don't feel the same then I won't like, lash out at you or anything, it'll hurt but I don't want you to feel forced into something more with me than what we have now, it's just you asked me why I was upset and that was the only way I could explain it but I-"

"Yoongi." He's stopped by a soft tug to his shirt and the even softer sound of your voice.

You catch each other's eyes, the flickers of hope and longing between them, and the search of honesty.

"I feel the same."

A sigh leaves his lips and he breaks into a smile before picking you up in one motion and setting you on his lap so you're straddling him.

"Does this mean we're like, um- like,,,,"

"Like...?" His tone is teasing, and you know he knows what you mean.

"Like, y'know- like..."

"I actually don't know...."

"Yoongi." You huff out, your shyness getting the best of you.

"Yes?" His tone is smug, making you groan into his chest.

Working off of pure adrenaline, you mumble quietly: "Like, together."

"What was that doll?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face, making you try and shuffle away from him, but Yoongi's quicker, pulling you back into him with a giggle.

"If you're asking if we're officially dating, then don't even question it baby." He's still laughing, but his tone is firmer this time.

"So I'm taking that as a yes?"

"Fuck yes."

You burst out laughing at his response, and soon enough you've both fallen into a fit of giggles, as well as back into the bed, with you on top of Yoongi, before he flips you over so he's hovering over you.

"Y/N."

"Yoongi?"

"Can I kiss you?"

End.

928 notes · View notes

gg-pedro · 3 months

Text

can you hear the music (ch. 5) - joel miller x reader

masterlist

summary: everyone in jackson is trying to distract themselves from something. you teach ellie piano, and you find yourself trying to help more than one miller settle into their new world.

chapter 5: new life, old wounds. a honeymoon has to come to an end eventually.

warnings: post outbreak!joel, jackson!era, joel x reader, AFAB!reader, platonic!ellie x reader, protective!joel, implied age gap, hurt/comfort, sickfic?, joel needs taking care of, non-gratuitous descriptions of a wound, mentions of death, swearing, references to gun violence, fluff at the end, angst, and more angst.

words: 4.4k (eek)

a/n: edited this one to death. go listen to adrianne lenker.

Weeks passed. Rainstorms rolled into Jackson.

Dark clouds eclipsed the sky, releasing sheets of rain that melted away most of the snow and rendered the ground a muddy brown. The storm system lasted days, save for an hour or two of sunshine between downpours.

Joel had asked you to move in with him. You refused. Then he begged you, saying that he wanted to be around to help you get back on your feet, but still, you declined the offer.

You always figured your honeymoon winter would have to come to a bitter end at some point. Watching Joel execute a man in cold blood probably wasn’t helping to close the divide that had been growing into a chasm and stretching you thin.

Your wound was halfway healed now, too. It still left a scar that made you nauseous when you had to look at it in the mirror.

You’d been allowed a week off from your usual duties around the commune. You asked to be removed from the position you had in the clinic, and Maria personally saw to that. You helped out at the school instead, with the kids you had grown so familiar with. They were the only thing bearable about your day.

You stopped offering piano lessons. That irked Joel the most. He’d gone even paler when you told him that than when he watched a bullet narrowly miss ripping a hole through your center.

Maybe this is what you got for complaining about the quiet sanctity of your life in Jackson.

You still played. You had long since memorized most of the scores you had collected over the years, so you’d taken to composing your own. It was all harsh, rolling sonatas that poured out of you whenever you sat before the keys. You’d pause to scratch the notes down on paper, skipping over a title because you knew you’d only be able to come up with one thing.

Joel. Joel Miller. Joel #3. Joel and I. Joel… why didn’t you ever ask his middle name?

You’d left him in the dark almost entirely about how you were feeling, save for that conversation you’d had in the clinic. By consequence, he was treating you as if you’d suddenly become fragile. As if you couldn’t handle getting hurt or witnessing death. You wished that you could say any of that was what was bothering you.

Still, he came. He showed up for you. He was sweet. He cared. He barely even flinched when the little things would set you off. It made it all the more difficult to try and push back from him.

On a cool evening, one where the air was almost warm but the breeze was bitter, the two of you sat on his back porch.

He was strumming on his guitar, trying to remember how to play Led Zeppelin's Going to California.

He paused to tune the high E string and looked over at you. “Tommy said he’s goin’ on a supply run next week. Might try and hit up that old college I told you about. Want me to look for some more sheet music to bring back? Beginner stuff, or stuff for you?”

You blew on your hot mug of tea, watching the steam swirl in the air. “No. You’d have to sift through some old performing arts building. No use in that.”

“You sure? I know you said you wanted–”

“–I promise, Joel, it’s fine. Don’t make more work for yourself.”

“Alright, baby,” he said quietly, plucking away at the strings again.

“But for Ellie,” you interjected. “She mentioned wanting some more movie scores. Might be worth finding that for her.”

He played a little softer as he spoke. “It’s no good if she doesn’t know how to play it.”

“She can read music,” you countered. “She’s welcome to use my piano anytime.”

He stopped playing completely this time, groaning a little as he stretched to prop the guitar up against the house. You watched his expression mold into concern as you made eye contact.

“You’re shakin’, honey. Let's go inside. Or I can walk you home.”

The liquid in your cup mirrored a choppy ocean from the tremors in your hands. “I’m okay. Just cold out here.”

Joel got up and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Okay. Then I’ll get you a blanket. Gonna catch your death out here.”

Your knuckles were turning white with your grip on the mug and you flinched away from his touch. “Stop it, Joel.”

He paused. “Stop what?”

“Treating me like I’m another child,” you said. “Did you hear me when I said that I was fine?”

“That ain’t fair. I’m just tryin’ to look after you,” he responded.

You started laughing. “Really? It really feels like you’re trying to make up for something.”

It started to drizzle again. You watched as the rainwater began to dilute your tea.

“Yeah? Make up for what, exactly?” He shot back. “Protecting someone I care about?”

You stood to meet him and the rain picked up. “Protect me from what? A man alone in the woods with no weapons?”

“Just ‘cause he dropped his gun doesn’t mean he had no weapons, doesn’t mean he was alone–”

“You beat his fucking face in, don’t act like you did it out of anything but emotion you couldn’t control.” The two of you were nearing drenched, but neither of you seemed to care. “Just admit that it was a bad decision. And that it was cruel, Joel. So fucking cruel.”

Joel just stared at you. “I’m walkin’ away from this, baby. You’re mad, I know. You don’t have to see things the way I see ‘em.”

You followed him to the back door. “I’m not done, Joel. Give me one good reason as to why you did it. A rational, true reason.”

“No,” he said as he opened the door.

“Then fuck you. You were wrong, it was cruel, and there is blood on my hands. How does that make you feel? To know that I blame myself for what you did?”

He slammed the door shut before walking inside, his face washed with anger. “Don’t you come into my fuckin’ house yellin’– not with Ellie upstairs,” he seethed. “ Blamin’ me for shit. For makin’ decisions that you couldn’t even imagine.”

You brushed wet hair out of your eyes. “Oh, but I could imagine it, Joel. I’ve been alive through all of this too. I still came out human on the other side. Not everyone is living in the world that you are. Not everyone acts like a fucking animal everytime they get the chance.”

“So that's how you see me, hm? A fuckin’ animal. You along with everyone else in this goddamn place. Just some old man who likes havin’ to kill people?” He looked away from you and shook his head. “I’ve got my reasons. Bein’ here isn’t gonna make me soft. Won’t make me forget,” he inched closer to you, “the ways that I lost people. I can promise you that.”

Joel had had a part of his humanity brutally gutted from him when his daughter died in his arms. Even still, he found it again in places he hadn’t expected. In Ellie, especially. In you.

“And listen to this closely– real fuckin’ close,” he began again, “I don’t give a shit if you hate me. Move on, never speak to me again. As long as you’re alive, and I know that I did what I could to keep you that way, I’ll sleep fuckin’ easy at night. You understand that?”

He inhaled and went on. “Maybe that man made a stupid goddamn mistake tryin’ to hunt. Maybe I did, too. I wish I could say I was sorry for that. It’s a cruel world out here.”

“Sleep easy at night? Is that really the truth?” You crossed your arms over your chest and watched his expression shift.

“Wouldn’t… wouldn’t make it any harder.”

You knew that was a lie.

You could see it now. Joel in another universe. A few less fine lines on his face, a few less grays threaded into his dark hair. No bad memories that would pull him from sleep. The right pocket of his jeans wouldn’t be ever so slightly stretched from storing a handgun there. Wouldn’t look at himself in the mirror like he was searching for the person he used to be. Wouldn’t look at you like you were an impending flatline on a heart monitor.

But this was now, and he would always be so stubbornly him, and you wished your feelings were important enough to him that he could see things the way you do.

He dropped his hands to his sides and sighed. “Look, I’m just tryin’ to make things easier on you. Clearly you took this real hard, and I never should’ve brought you out there, and–”

“Enough, Joel. Don’t act like that was the mistake, or that you ‘ruined’ me, or some stupid shit like that. One of us has to feel remorse for what you did to that man and if you won’t, then I will,” you countered. “And sure, It’s been difficult on me. I’ll give you that. It hurts. There, does that make you feel good? Give you a purpose? You still want to put me back together after what you did?”

The look on his face told you that you had cut deep. You immediately wanted to back down, but you were tired and it hurt and he still felt like he wasn’t listening.

“I ain’t gonna yell at you, baby, if that's what you want. Just… just go. Go on, go home. I’ll still be here if you need me.”

You were angry because you were hurt. He read right through you, too. Knew you didn’t mean all of that. You were trying desperately to stay hurt and mad at something, anything, because once that faded, all you’d be left with was sadness and guilt.

You turned your back on him anyway, soaking wet and furious, and made your way home. You couldn’t help but cry. God, you hoped you hadn’t just ruined everything.

He’s still there if I need him, you kept repeating to yourself. He’s there if I need him.

Joel wasn’t sleeping. He couldn’t.

He used to get at least a few hours every night. Took him a while to get there after settling into life in Jackson. Even when you were with him, lying close to his chest, he’d still wake up with the sun, hours before you did.

At least you quelled the restless anxiety that accompanied the morning exhaustion. You’d slip your hand under his shirt, rubbing circles into his side and his chest, and beckon him back to sleep. He almost never did, but he loved it anyway.

And now? He was getting almost nothing.

Sometimes, he could swear that he heard your pleas. Those strangled sobs echoing through the dense forest. Joel. Joel. Joel, stop it, fucking don’t, please–

A single gunshot, and the sound of you sobbing.

There, does that make you feel good? Give you a purpose? You still want to put me back together after what you did?

He laid awake, the rain pelting the roof and the rolling thunder in the distance making his heart rate spike and setting his body into fight mode. It was a feeling he’d grown accustomed to. He’d check that his pistol was on his dresser, then he’d check on Ellie, and finally, he’d look out his window, hoping to see that light on in your bedroom. Maybe your backlit silhouette. Anything.

You didn’t need him trying to protect you all the time. Worrying about you. Losing sleep over you, for fuck’s sake. If anything, he thought, coming into your life had just made things worse for you. If anything, he needed you a hell of a lot more than you needed him.

Powering through sleep deprivation wasn’t an uphill battle. It was all downhill. After the third day in a row with almost no rest, he was flagging. The world around him felt blurred, his senses and awareness all dull. He barely got through the work day with Tommy. He felt, in a word, awful. It was strange. He felt even worse than he had after all those nights on foot with Ellie where he would insist on giving up his sleep for hers.

He wanted you. With more sleep, maybe he could push those thoughts away if he tried, but now, all he wanted was you.

Fittingly, Ellie was the only one that noticed. Well, Tommy must’ve noticed, but he didn’t mention it.

After dinner, he could hardly keep himself awake to listen to her talk about her day. Sitting on the couch, with his head lolling to the left and subsequently making his hearing muffled on both sides, he dozed off.

“–el? Joel? The fuck, man, I was just getting to the good part of the story!”

A hand shaking his shoulder jolted him awake and he was slow to reorient himself with the room. Breathe. He was in the living room. The fire was lit. It was still raining. Ellie was there. You were… fuck, where were you–? Oh. Right.

“Are you good?” Ellie asked.

He nodded quickly, swallowing around a raw throat. “Yeah– m’fine,” he said. “Keep goin’, I’m listenin’ to ya.”

“Uh, no, you weren’t. You fell asleep. And you’ve only been sitting for like, five minutes.”

Joel sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Okay. Wanna tell me somethin’ I don’t know?”

“You look like shit.” She told him pointedly.

“Mmh. Shouldn’t have even asked.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Come on, dude. Are you sick?”

“No.”

“You sure? You look sick. And super fucking tired.”

“Yeah, m’tired. Storm’s been keepin’ me up,” he said, which was only half of a lie.

Ellie didn’t believe him. “Huh. Fine. Sleep away then, old man.”

Joel’s eyes were closed, but by the way Ellie’s voice got quieter as she spoke, he knew she was walking away. He was a little too tired and a little too deaf to hear the front door open and close again a few minutes later.

“He looks dead.” A pause. “Is he dead?”

“Jesus. No, Ellie, he’s not dead.”

A palm smoothing over his forehead, then the back of that same cool hand against his cheek. He didn’t want to open his eyes. Too tired, and the touch felt too nice.

“Oh, Joel,” you exhaled. “He’s burning up. Probably killing his back, too.”

Warily, he opened an eye to see you crouching in front of him, Ellie close to your side. He would’ve thought he was dreaming, but in his dreams, his entire body didn’t typically ache.

“I knew something was wrong with you,” Ellie proclaimed, looking proud of herself.

“Why’re you…?” Joel rasped.

You cut him off. “Hey, Joel, you with me? Is there any possible chance that you got bit?” You asked. Just covering all bases.

“No,” he replied. “And fuck you.”

“Yeah, he’s fine. Ellie, go heat water up on the stove.” You interjected. “See if there are any tea bags left.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Joel’s eyes slipped shut again just as you sat down beside him. He was sitting upright, arms crossed loosely over his chest.

“C’mon, Joel. You should be in bed,” you said softly. Your fingertips brushed his forehead again, confirming the fever you had felt earlier. “Figures… Ellie says you haven’t been sleeping.”

He shook his head and tried to dodge your touch. “M’fine, babydoll,” he said like it was a reflex.

“Yeah, you’re fine, I know. You’re always just fine,” you replied. “Wake up a little, though? For me?”

He couldn’t argue with that. Slowly, he rubbed at his eyes and sat up more fully. “...Ellie got you? Shouldn’t of fuckin’ done that…”

“It was fine. It’s barely six, It’s still light out. I’m glad she did.”

He opened his eyes again, looking panicked. “Six? Fuck, I gotta–”

“Six PM, Joel,” you clarified. “You haven’t missed a thing. In fact, it’s a great time to catch up on some sleep.”

After you grabbed both of his hands and threatened to go get Tommy, he finally relented, letting you help him up from the impression he’d made on the couch. He all but collapsed into bed, hardly putting up a fight when you tugged off his shoes and jeans to get him into something more comfortable.

On second thought, maybe this was more than exhaustion. He didn’t have much recollection of the fever that came with that infected stab wound, not until he dragged himself up from the floor with what dredges of consciousness he had left to find Ellie. This was sort of akin to that hot-and-cold aching feeling. Had a fever when he killed those two men, too.

He groaned audibly at the thought.

“You okay?” Your warm voice rang through the room.

This wasn’t that, though. He was safe. Probably picked something up from being out in the rain with you. Is that how that worked? More likely from the insomnia, which surely must’ve shot his immune system.

“Mhm, yeah… you’re stayin’?” He mumbled.

“Yeah, I’ll stay.” You kissed his temple and pushed his hair off of his forehead.

“Why?”

You thought for a moment. Honestly, you were wondering that yourself. But when Ellie showed up at your door in the rain, her face awash with concern, you didn’t even think twice about coming.

“Ellie was worried about you. I had to come,” you said. “And… the things I said the other week, they– they weren't completely fair to you. I’ll try to make it up to you, if you’ll still let me.”

“Nothin’ to make up for,” he told you, words slurring together.

“I think there is, but–” you sighed. “Get some rest. You need it.”

He fell asleep easily after that.

Joel’s nightmares were so vivid that he woke up feeling like someone had died in his arms all over again. He didn’t know who. When he sat up and looked around the room he saw you asleep, clinging to his arm, and a glass of water on the nightstand next to a mug of tea that went untouched.

He was freezing, shivering under multiple layers. His skin and the fabric clinging to it hurt. Everything hurt. He sucked in a breath, too overwhelmed to do anything about any of it. The only thing he could manage was to call your name out into the dark.

Your bleary eyes met his in an instant and you had to untangle yourself from him to sit up. “Hold on, I’m awake,” you said, clicking on the lamp.

Joel was pale and his eyes were glassy.

“Did something happen? No, just feeling like shit? You’re still so warm… poor thing.”

He shook his head and tried to keep his teeth from chattering. When you opened your arms, he melted right into you.

“Okay, baby. You’re okay, I still got you. Bet your fever’s just spiking.”

After a long while of him in your arms, he spoke up. “M’sorry for what I did,” he whispered. “Thought I was gonna lose you.”

You felt the ache in the wound on your arm that pulled from holding him.

What could you say? That you would just put it past you? That all was forgiven? Was there anything at all that could be said with him in this state, sweating out a fever and shaking in your arms?

After mulling over the entire situation while you had been keeping your distance, you weren’t

sure if he would ever be sorry for pulling the trigger. He was sorry that it hurt you. That the golden image of him in your mind was tainted by what he’d done. That just made you angrier.

For Joel, part of that was true. He wasn’t sorry for pulling the trigger. He’d do it 100 times over, even if there was only a fraction of a chance that it made the difference between you living and you dying. But he was sorry for letting all of his past experiences haunt the decisions he made in the present, and he was sorry that he never did try hard enough to be better for you.

He couldn’t magically change, though. Nobody could.

The fork in the road was clear. To hold onto hope that you could just love Joel deeply enough and some softer, unscarred version of himself would start to appear through the cracks, or to let him go. Let him be who he is, far away from you.

Or maybe, maybe, maybe– keep loving him for who he is now, perhaps even if a little hardened and cruel, in this life with him. Love him deeply enough, love him long enough, and one day who he isn’t won’t matter.

“You won’t lose me. You won’t. We can talk about it more when you’re feeling better.”

And if he ever finds those old pieces of himself, or if you manage to bring them out– you’ll love those, too. And if not?

He brought his face up from your shoulder and took your face into his hands. “I love you. I love y’too much. Don’t lose yourself in all this. Not for me, not for nothin’. Okay? Promise me.”

There wasn’t an ‘if-not.’ The harshness of this life hadn’t taken away his capacity to care about you. To want to give you the world. To love and be loved. Some things, some far away and buried things, the most important things, they had never left him.

And Joel did. He did love you. It was a universal truth. It felt more certain than the sun rising each morning, than the salt in the sea, than the earth spinning on its axis.

“I promise,” you whispered. “I love you, too.”

You made sure Joel got better. Sleep was the best medicine. He was so bone-tired and out of it that you hardly had the chance to say anything else to each other for the next day or so.

You woke on Saturday morning to an empty bed. Joel’s room was tidier, empty mugs and dishes having disappeared from the nightstand along with the clothes that were scattered on the floor.

You could hear Joel and Ellie bickering about something downstairs, and the oaky smell of coffee was permeating the entire house. It made you smile. You wanted to stay in bed and bask in it for a few minutes– that lazy morning feeling, and the growing warmth inside your chest that told you that life could be good again. In the heaviness there was still warmth, light in the darkness, sunshine after the storm.

It was still drizzly out, but everything was remarkably greener. Even the pear trees that were scattered between houses in the neighborhood were blooming. You found yourself looking forward to summer.

After soaking in as much time in bed as you could, you got yourself up and went to check on the commotion in the kitchen. Joel was busy making breakfast– eggs and a few strips of bacon that were sizzling loudly. He had a towel thrown over his shoulder and was gesturing rather aggressively at Ellie with a spatula.

“Come on, how’d you know that one?” Ellie asked incredulously, throwing her hands into the air from where she was sitting at the kitchen table. “It was good, too. Admit it.”

“It was the worst out of all of ‘em,” he retorted.

“Wait, wait, listen to this one– how did Benjamin Franklin feel when he first discovered electricity?”

Joel glared at her over his shoulder. “Shocked?”

She laughed. You were starting to think it was less about the joke itself and much more about Joel’s obvious hatred of them. “You’re killing my flow here, dude!”

He could pretend all he wanted. That smile and the way he shook his head afterwards told you he loved it. Maybe not the joke, but hearing Ellie laugh.

He came over to where you were leaning against the doorway, handing you a cup of coffee and pecking your forehead. You took both things gratefully.

“I see you’re feeling better,” you said, catching him by the arm before he could walk away. “Breakfast, too?”

He nodded, pulling you into him again to kiss you for a little longer. “Mhm. As a thank you for lookin’ after me.”

You smiled against his lips. “I’ll take it, then.”

The three of you sat down to eat together before Ellie, who finished three times faster than either of you, asked if she could meet Tommy at the stables. It was more like a declaration, one that gave Joel no room or time to say yes or no.

You helped him wash and put away dishes, talking and laughing with him about completely mundane things. A part of you hoped that he wouldn’t want to bring up the last few conversations you’d had. This all felt so fragile and you would’ve done anything to keep it intact.

“I got you something,” he said after you’d sat down again. “Shut your eyes.”

Doing as you were told, you brought both hands up to cover your eyes. You could hear him leave the kitchen and bring something in from the dining room.

“‘Kay, open ‘em.”

He’d set a small vase of flowers on the kitchen table. The arrangement was made up of pink and white tulips, interspersed with golden poppies. You’d seen them when you went out with Joel– when you got hurt.

“I went out early this morning. You should see the fields, they’re covered in flowers,” he said. “I went out there to bury that man. Said a prayer for him and all that bullshit. He was alone, you were right. Someone would’ve taken him by now if he wasn’t.” He sat down in the chair next to you, reaching out for your hand. “Thought it was the least I could do… the right thing to do.”

You squeezed his hand as you stared at the flowers. “Thank you, Joel,” you said quietly. “You’re a good person.”

And somewhere, along the northern edges of a forest, there was a pile of freshly disturbed dirt and a cracked rock in place of a headstone. The rain would still come and wash over Joel’s work, but you hoped that nature would be kind to it. And in a few weeks when the sunlight gave birth to new growth, flowers would spread over the gravesite, too.

“I’m tryin’ to do my best, baby. For you.”

This time, you really did believe in him.

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sxeraphfic · 9 days

Text

SFW ALPHABET W/ DONNIE DARKO

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Hey everyone! decided to do the sfw alphabet thing, i got rid of a few that felt unneeded or like id already partially answered them. hope you enjoy my loves <3

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Donnie as a very socially awkward and emotionally repressed person would be awkward with affection at first, i think he’d want to hug and kiss you and be cuddly but get nervous of freaking you out or scaring you. He has the mentality that he’s abit of a freak so he’ll project that unfortunately. However as time goes on and he learns to trust and feel your love he will become very affectionate.

He definitely enjoys hugs from behind whether it’s from you or him, not only is it cozy feeling but he occasionally likes to surprise you and give you a little scare because he’s a tease

Donnie also and obviously enjoys handholding and kissing, he’ll make sure to hold your hand wherever you go!

He isn’t particularly scared of PDA, he won’t do anything extreme but i feel like he’s a little unaware of his surroundings sometimes so he’ll happily go for a kiss or a hug in the middle of the street.

Donnie feels most comforted at home, away from people and with you. He’ll be extra cuddly then, whether it’s laying on your chest or getting his hair stroked he’ll love the attention and warmth you bring to him and he’ll do the exact same for you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Donnie would probably be abit emotionally unavailable as a best friend not going to lie, i think he’d have a hard time differentiating between why a best friend is different to a normal friend… “shouldn’t you treat your friends all the same?”

However after awhile it’d be clear to him that you’re a trustworthy and good person, he’d open up to you about a few of his more… complicated problems and may even impulsively tell you some weird things during his episodes

The friendship would begin probably with you initiating it through some sort of party or maybe at school, at first he’d be a little distant and non chalant but after awhile he would have a genuine interest in your hobbies, life, personality etc

He’d probably feel most comfortable just hanging out in his room listening to music or playing video games maybe even reading or studying together.

He’d be loyal aswell, and open to listening to your problems as he out of all people would know what it feels like to have problems.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddling with friends or family? absolutely not. But with a lover it’s a completely different story.

He’ll try to smoothly initiate it but end up accidentally saying or doing something silly and you’ll both laugh it off

He’s clingy aswell, not at first but as time goes on it’ll show, even during the hottest of summer nights he’ll try to link hands together as you sleep.

He looooves when you initiate it first, not just because he’s shy but it shows you want him and that’s all he needs to feel appreciated

I can imagine you two both standing together at a bus stop on a cold snowy day, cuddling together with his face buried in your hair to keep warm.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Donnie definitely wants to settle down at some point, i don’t see him having commitment issues but more so the complete opposite. Once he’s found the one he won’t let go and will do his best to be a good boyfriend OR husband despite his mental health.

Donnie would be a little messy about cleaning, he’s not lazy (most of the time) and i think he’d want the cleaning and cooking duties to be equal on both parts so he’d be happy to learn to cook for you.

During possible depressive or psychotic episodes he would require you to be a little more understanding on why he may not be perfect at keeping everything clean, he’d apologise in embarrassment but surely you’d understand <3

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Donnie would be terrible at breakups, i think he’s the type to dump and ghost and never speak again unfortunately.

He’d do the right thing by at least talking it out in person, but it would be an awkward conversation for sure and relatively fast paced as he wouldn’t know what to say afterwards.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Donnie would probably not really actually care at least too much about marriage, he wants it but he won’t be asking to marry you straight away.

That being said that doesn’t mean he’s not committed to you, he’s all yours and he expects the same from you!

I can imagine it wouldn’t take long before he pops the question out, maybe at a pretty looking park or dinner date where he makes the effort to have everything be lovey dovey and romantic.

I can imagine late night conversations in bed with him, and him suddenly bringing up the idea of marriage. “do you see us together in the future y/n?”

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Donnie is an absolute gentle soul towards you, he’s never violent or rough and is absolutely terrified of hurting or scaring you.

He gets easily frustrated and annoyed but is quick to apologise and stop if you tell him he needs to calm down

Occasionally donnie will enjoy a little play fighting or a little pinch to give you a shock, but most of the time he prefers to just be gentle with you.

Emotionally donnie tries his best to be gentle, however he’s filled with sarcasm and is a little bit of a meanie, it’ll show and if you tell him you don’t appreciate it he’ll try his best to repress himself. Otherwise if you enjoy it he’ll probably like that and ramp it up a little more for the banter factor.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Donnie’s hugs depend on where you are.

In public places his hugs will usually be casual and quick, he’ll probably give you a kiss on the forehead too during it.

In more private places he’ll be much more relaxed and give you long and heartfelt hugs, kind of bear hug like in a sense. He might rough up your hair and give you lots of kisses during it aswell.

Donnie is always happy to receive a hug from you too, he won’t mind how long they are or how intense you are about it. He just likes that you want to give him one in the first place!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Donnie doesn’t really understand social norms like waiting 3 months to say i love you, if he’s with you in the first place that means he loves you. So it’ll probably take less than a week for him to announce it to you, maybe even on the same day you get together. He’s fast paced with his emotions and words and is quite blunt about it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh boy do i have opinions on this.

Donnie will get jealous and he’ll definitely ruminate and stress on it, HOWEVER he will not blame you for it unless you’re showing signs of cheating.

When he’s jealous it’ll take him a few days before he really admits it, in the mean time he’ll be a little distant and more sad looking than usual. He’ll ask for validation from you like a sad little puppy whilst not even being open about why he’s asking for it in the first place. The next stage will be him getting a little snarky about whatever’s made him jealous which is where you’ll realise what’s happened.

Donnie is a paranoid person, but for you he knows to try tone it down. If you realise he’s jealous and just comfort and explain to him that he doesn’t have to be, he’ll immediately feel comforted and better about it. Just don’t keep him waiting on it.

I think during his episodes he’ll be a little more aggressive about it but as i said all he wants is the confirmation that you only want him.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

It’s hard to tell with donnie whether his kisses are going to end up in a rough and steamy make out sesh or if it’s gonna be just a quick little peck. Either way he’ll make sure to kiss you on the regular!

Donnie’s favourite places to kiss you are

Your lips (ofc) your forehead your cheeks your neck your stomach and thighs and literally anywhere else. lol.

Donnie personally likes to be kissed in those exact places too, especially his neck. it gives him butterflies.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Hmmm as a teen obviously he just likes to tease and make fun of them, especially his little sister.

But as he gets older and as he’s stated himself he definitely wants to have kids, he’d only have them if he was mentally well enough to handle them though.

That being said if he did have them and was mentally well, he’d been a kind of “cool dad” if you get what i mean. Not afraid to be honest and direct with his kids about the world, maybe occasionally make a silly more adult joke or swear around them. He’d want them to be emotionally intelligent and know how to navigate though their world, so he’d be cautious about the media and information they consume.

He’d also defend them against school authority probably lol. Even if they’re in the wrong and they’ve done something stupid he’ll be the first to say it’s not a big deal.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

“Nooo ten more minutes” type of energy here. you will not be leaving that bed until he’s ready!

If hes in his bed cuddling you he’s as happy as can be, he loves to stare and admire how you look when you’re sleeping so he always hopes to wake up before you.

Once he’s out of bed he’s abit of a grump for the next hour or so, he enjoys it if you happen to make breakfast for him but it’s not a big deal if you don’t.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

There’s a variety of things donnie wouldn’t mind doing at night, he’s kind of an all cards type of guy when it comes to it since the vibes of night just suit his needs perfect

Watching movies in his room or at the cinema Listening to music Reading Cuddling and kissing Other.. not so safe for work stuff.. Night walks and star gazing

Donnie loves any time he can spend with you really, he’s not in a rush to go to sleep so he’ll stay up all night with you if that’s what you want.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Donnie is not one too get easily angered, with you that is. Normally he’s very easily riled up about how the world is cruel and everyone in it sucks. But with you he has an unbelievable amount of patience, he’ll retort with sarcasm but is a natural problem solver and is always ready to talk it out.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Donnie comes off as absent minded, but he will remember every single little detail about you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a little notebook or journal filled with information about you and your likes, dislikes, random facts and etc.

Donnie’s the type of person to know and remember facts about you that you’ve long forgotten, he’ll buy you a t-shirt of a band that you mentioned liking three years ago and haven’t said anything about since.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Donnie is definitely a protective boyfriend, it comes from his paranoid outlook on the world. He would never forgive himself if you got hurt and he wasn’t there to protect you.

Although he isn’t a bodybuilder or anything he’ll speak up for you and maybe even resort to a little violence. (or if he’s feeling really crazy he’ll pull a gun out like in the movie)

As for you protecting him.. he’d appreciate you standing up for him but insist he doesn’t need it, if anything it’d make him a little embarrassed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Donnie would definitely put effort into you, the fact that you’re with him in the first place amazes him and he doesn’t plan on losing you to laziness.

Most dates will be casual, if he feels like he wants to treat you to something nicer he’ll work hard for it. His love language is primarily physical touch and gift giving imo, so when he works he has a tendency to work just so he can provide for you since he has such simple needs himself.

As for everyday tasks, he believes in equality surrounding that type of thing. But if he notices you’re in a poor mood or feeling sad he’ll put in the effort to make sure you don’t need to strain yourself.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

The most obvious one here is his fluctuating and poor mental health, mental illness isn’t pretty. There’ll be times where he needs you at his lowest and he might push you away during it. That’s when you need to be there for him the most.

He also tends to be absent minded with your feelings, he might say or do something that makes you upset and not realise until you say something about it. This isn’t personal, he’s just very straightforward.

He’s definitely a little possessive too, not to the point where you’re unsafe but he’s terrified of losing you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

This one is an interesting case.

He isn’t really worried with his looks but definitely has abit of a freak complex due to his illness and unpopularity at school, he’ll appreciate when you compliment him. he needs it.

He might ask you what he can do to be more attractive, or if you’re really into him, the answer is obviously yes but he really could do with an ego boost.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Donnie isn’t interested in superficial people, if you can’t have an interesting discussion with him he’ll be turned off immediately. He also enjoys someone who’s at least somewhat reliable, you can have your own issues and mental illness but at the end of the day if you’re a complete mess in all areas he may just end up feeling like he can’t give you what you need.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Besides the obvious sleep walking, donnie is a heavy sleeper. He doesn’t snore or anything but he definitely mumbles and grumbles throughout the night, he also will unconsciously hug and cuddle you for warmth.

Donnie may also experience frequent nightmares, if he wakes up from a really bad one he might wake you up for comfort

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Annnnnd finished! i hope you guys enjoyed. If anyone is interested in an NSFW version please head to my ask box!

partially proof read ;9

#jake gyllenhaal #drabble #david loki #detective loki #donnie darko #road house #highway 2002 #hc #alphabet #fanfic ideas #fanfiction writer #fanfic #fandom #oneshot #imagine #x reader #donnie darko x reader #headcanon #valenfics

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thezombieprostitute · 5 months

Text

Music in the Air

A/N: Written for Vee's Holly Jolly Challenge (@sstan-hoe). Reader is implied fem, "girls like me". No physical descriptors used.

Prompts: Bucky Barnes - My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on.

Summary: You and Bucky discuss poinsettias.

Bucky's arm was having problems. Again. In all the years he had the arm he never really got to understand how it worked. He could figure out how to fix a lot of things, but his arm wasn't one of them. That's why he was glad he had you to turn to. You had quickly become his go-to engineer in the Avengers Tower. You were a rare and delightful combination of "not afraid of him" and "not overly friendly". You would smile, but let him initiate the conversation when he wanted.

At least, normally you were his favorite. Ever since December started you only every played Christmas music in your lab. He was still trying to get used to how much the holiday had changed and the music was, well, a lot. Especially when you were always listening to some kind of heavy metal Christmas music and he had only ever heard Christmas music sung a capella or maybe a church organ.

"Do you really need to listen to that music all the time?"

You smiled while working, "I did the respectful thing and waited until December before I started listening."

"Yeah, but it's just so..." he struggled to find the words.

"Non-traditional?"

"Jarring."

"Well, Sergeant Barnes," you reply, setting your tools down, "My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on. However, I am willing to switch it for something that's maybe a little more your speed."

You walk over to your laptop and open up your playlist. It takes you a minute, but you finally find the song you're looking for and press the play button. As the speakers sing a lighter, slower tune, you turn back to Bucky, "you should be grateful. I don't turn off Trans Siberian Orchestra for just anyone."

Bucky blushed as he smiled, listening to the song. It was very different from what you had been listening to. For a start, there were lyrics. They told the story of a poinsettia named Percy and how had been overlooked and abandoned but grew and shone when given love. He almost smacked himself for having empathy for an imaginary plant.

To distract himself he said, "I'm surprised you like this song. It's so different from what you were listening to before."

You smile and respond, "it's a childhood favorite. This song just really hit my heart in a way no other Christmas song did. It stuck with me so much that, even in college if I saw my flowers for sale that were wilting or on their last legs, I'd buy them. Just to make sure they had love before they fully wilted."

Bucky looked at you with a softness in his eyes before you shook your head, "I know, it's stupid. I was an adult, I should've known better but some things just stick with you, you know?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I know. Did you stop buying flowers because you kept getting them from dates or something?"

You chuckle, "I stopped because I had to prioritize my budget. I can't remember the last time I had flowers in my apartment. But thank you for the compliment."

"What do you mean? The guys you date don't give you flowers?"

"Girls like me don't get dates, Sergeant. I'm not whatever enough for guys to ask me out. Whether it's my size, my intelligence, my hobbies, there's just always something that keeps guys from asking me out, let alone bringing me flowers. But, again, thank you for the compliment."

You set down your tools and start putting them away, "your arm is all patched up. Hope this fix lasts you at least through the end of the year. I've got a lot of projects to finish up before the end of the year so I might not have the time to take care of you."

"You're not staying here for Christmas, are you?"

"I am," you nod. "My family celebrates holidays on days that aren't the day of so that we can avoid traffic and last-minute shoppers. So I set up an office lunch for the people who either don't celebrate, have nowhere to go, or whatever other reasons. Mr. Stark has been very generous with the budget for that."

"I'm glad you won't be alone on Christmas," he gives you a gentle smile.

"How about you," you ask. "You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

"Sam is insisting on taking me to Louisiana," he replies.

"Good," you assert. "I'm very glad you also won't be alone on Christmas."

You really shouldn't have been surprised to see the poinsettia on your desk the next day. There was no note, but you suspected. It wasn't very big and it had started wilting, but you loved it nonetheless. You gently hugged the plant and promised to give it the best of care for as long as it needed. After a week it was like a brand new plant, bright and strong. Doesn't hurt that you asked the biolab techs for help and resources.

It made Bucky's year to see how big your smile was, watching your poinsettia grow and how much you clearly loved it. It took him a while after to gather his courage and ask you on a date but your quick "yes" reassured him. Neither of you would ever be alone on Christmas.

#vee's holly jolly challenge #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes christmas #percy the puny poinsettia

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sol-consort · 3 months

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Can you imagine tho the aliens reactions when humans all start collectively singing the same song. Like it’s busy in the bar or something, everyone’s doing their own thing, and suddenly Bohemian Rhapsody comes on and every single human in the bar stops what they’re doing to sing along like we’re compelled by some unseen force to do it, maybe some try to pull in their non human friends and get them to join in

You know for a fact Joker and Shepard definitely sang to some stupid y2k songs while sitting on the helm together and roped EDI into joining them.

Especially the meme songs, what's better than a whole ship captain and their pilot singing along to "I LOVE IT!" By Icona pop and Joker really bringing out the vocal cords in the "I CRASHED MY CAR INTO THE BRIDGE. I WATCHED AND LET IT BURN" while in the lower engineering decks, they're not sure why Liara keeps pinging them all panicking and saying "check on joker pls" and "is element zero inflammable?" and "coordinates for the nearest bridge?"

Humans L O V E joint community behaviour. We would do so many things for the bit, walk slower if we hear a song we like in a nearby shop, sing along if it's in a bar or a concert, drum our fingers to the beat if we're in a car with a strangers, have a rhythm to our footsteps when listening to music through headphones.

There are so many different songs, so many different instruments! A vast ocean of potential with more than a 100k songs being uploaded per day based on Spotify.

Hell have you seen these videos of military marches where the soldiers have to sing along to something like "I'm a barbie girl" or "call me maybe" and not laugh as a way to build discipline?

I bet you alliance marines still use the same technique with humans, so all the alliance ships and personals have so many songs memorised back from their training days.

Captian Anderson taking the crew to after a successful mission to unwind and the bar just happened to play a tone familiar to the human ear? Of course the literal whole drunk crew of the Normandy will sing like their it's their last day alive. Some yelling, some quietly, some so offbeat but confident and others nailing the beat perfectly but don't wanna look like show offs.

Humans are so adorable omfg, they love doing things in groups and they'd join stranger humans in singing along to a song they like. Humans love playing even as adults and singing is just a form of play. So is poker, billiard and so many things.

Garrus would definitely be roped into it, give him a hard hitting song about being a winner and he's so on board with the rowdy humans tugging him along to join and commenting on how they've never heard a turian sing before.

Tali would be so shy about it but maybe if it's a nerdy song about something she loves? Some human must have wanted to fuck spaceships and wrote something about it.

Oh and parades and ceremonies too! World cup opening and closing songs! The fan cheers in matches and concerts! Humans invented being cheerleaders and each human has one inside them ready to come out the second their alien friend is hesitant about something and needs a bit of enabling from good old chaotic humans.

Dude, just imagine karaoke night with all human songs. In ME1 boring rover planet exploration, Shepard and Ashley definitely sing along to a playlist they had Kaidan install into the car and he snuck some of his favourite songs in their to join them with.

With time and cycling team members, at first, the aliens are weirded out, wtf is this some kind of cult.

But then they're like.

And it just becomes a tradition to sing along while on long car rides on planets. Sometimes, you catch Wrex humming the lyrics while on long elevator rides. Other times, Liara will have the song playing in the background while she works.

It's just so fun to introduce the aliens to how colorful life can be when you sing along, dance without knowing all the steps and being a silly little race.

On a less pop and enthusiast drunks note.

There are also the emotional songs, ones from sad movies or plays. The known songs people play in wedding slow dances or after a break up. A bunch of humans would sing it slowly, lovingly, emotions showing through the sheer importance this song ment for them.

#☆several characters #☆garrus #☆Wrex #☆Ashley #☆Tali #☆Liara #☆Kaidan #☆shepard reader #☆humans #☆human kink #☆fluff

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arainbowofchaos · 9 months

Text

Seven Moons : Monday, The Crystal Moon

In a world where each day of the week is governed by a different moon, two passionate souls try to embrace a love beyond the boundaries of time. Will they have to give up their love to preserve the cosmic balance?

Tags/Warnings: Idol!Jungkook, Shy!Reader. Taehyung is Reader’s and JK’s mutual friend. A bit of unrequited love on Taehyung’s behalf. Impossible love. Strangers to lovers. Romance. It's kind of a Fantasy AU as each moon has an influence on the characters' destinies. Also reader's sister passed away. Mention of suicide, depression, grief.

Length: 2.4k words

A/N: I haven’t written in ages so please be kind as english isn’t my first language. I'm 28 and should probably do something else with my life but I have an injury and it's all I can do right now. Also the fantasy aspect of the story will be more pronounced in the upcoming chapters. (7 chapters, obviously)

It's midnight, and the week has begun. You gaze at the moon by your window with a sense of inquiry, wondering what the day has in store for you. Little do you know that your destiny is about to change forever. For now, you’re lying in bed and you just can't fall asleep; you feel too anxious.

Your phone vibrates on the bedside table making you startle. The light emanating from it illuminates the room. You wonder who could be writing to you at this late hour, and you reach out automatically to grab your phone. You can read Taehyung's name on your screen.

“Hello beauty. See you tonight! I hope you're ready to live the best night of your life!”

You smile at his message because you know how happy he is to take you to his friend Jungkook's concert. Taehyung is one of those people who really love to please others. He's aware of the hardships you have faced recently. He also knows you've been listening to Jungkook's songs on YouTube non-stop. It's only natural for him to suggest going to this concert with you.

You reply, "I can't wait, I hope I won't embarrass myself. Counting on you to get us backstage, haha."

Maybe you're a bit nervous about going. You love listening to Jungkook so much, ever since Taehyung shared one of his videos on Instagram a few months ago. You've watched all of his videos on repeat. You know every single one of his songs by heart. It's almost embarrassing how obsessive you've become, but it genuinely brings you joy. It's been a source of happiness in your life, and in the end, you're not hurting anyone by enjoying his music. At least that’s what you tell yourself.

If you hadn't been able to find comfort in music, you honestly don't know where you would be today. You feel like you've been living a waking nightmare lately. Your heart tightens as you think of your sister, who passed away six months ago, leaving you alone with eternal unanswered questions. She left on her own terms, but you never gave your consent. How are you supposed to go on without her?

Soon enough, Tae's response pulls you out of your negative thoughts.

"I'll do my best, I promise :)"

You sigh, feeling relieved. At least you know he'll be there with you, and with that thought alone, you manage to slow down the pounding of your heart, drifting off to sleep almost peacefully.

–

The stage is outdoors, and the night is slowly falling. You can already admire the moon, a thin crescent that you can barely make out. Taehyung places his hand on your shoulder and asks, "Are you okay?" He wants you to release the pressure. After everything you've been through lately, you deserve it. You smile at him and nod, as if to let him know that you're ready to let go tonight. It's just that everything feels almost unreal, and you find it hard to believe that you're not dreaming.

Taehyung makes a phone call, and you can hear him talk to someone, "We just arrived, do you think you can get us to the front row? Okay thank you JK!"

Everything happens very quickly after that phone call; a man in a suit comes to get you both and lead you through the crowd. There must be around 500 people. Jungkook already has a dedicated fan base; he's been successful for about a year, and the phenomenon only seems to be growing. Taehyung holds your hand to ensure you follow him closely without getting lost. Your hand is sweaty with excitement. You can barely believe your luck to be able to see your idol sing from such a close distance in just a few moments.

You finally manage to reach the front row when the spotlights illuminate the stage, and Jungkook appears before your eyes. A magnetic aura emanates from him, capturing your attention. He has this natural charisma that captivates you. He's dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt, and a denim jacket. As he steps onto the stage, greeted by the cheers and applause of the crowd, you can't help but find him handsome. The electric excitement fills the air as the music unleashes its power. Your heart tightens, and you wish you could have shared this moment with your sister.

Soon enough, you feel a shiver run through your body as Jungkook's enchanting voice penetrates your soul. It's been ages since you've felt such relief. The weight of the world has lifted from your shoulders, and your mind finally feels at ease again. You've decided that you're going to have fun and you start singing in harmony with Jungkook and the crowd. You wave at Taehyung, as if to thank him for accompanying you. He seems to be enjoying himself too, judging by his little jumps. You giggle as you watch him, and you recognize how lucky you are to have a friend like him.

–

Your adrenaline starts to subside as the spotlights just turned off. The concert just ended after two encores, and the night has completely fallen. Jungkook just gave a 2-hour performance. Is it even humanly possible to exhibit such energy? You have so much admiration for his talent that you feel your heart could explode with emotions.

Taehyung asks if you want to go back home. You shake your head with a pout on your face "Maybe let's try to meet him if he's okay with it?" you suggest. A broad smile appears on his face. He was teasing you, knowing that you wouldn’t want to leave right away. He promised to take you backstage, and he intends to keep his word.

As the crowd starts to disperse slowly, you see Tae taps on his phone. After a moment, he says,"Jungkook suggests that we meet outside for a drink. It's too crazy here, what do you think?"

"Are you sure?" You hesitate. "I don't want to bother him; he's your friend."

Tae reassures you, "If he's suggesting it, it's probably because he's still pumped up from the concert and wants to wind down slowly, grabbing a drink is perfect."

"Okay, let's do it then!" You look so happy; it's been months since Tae has seen that expression on your face. He wishes he could freeze time to keep you like this forever. Your happiness is contagious. He could bring you the moon, literally, just to see your smile.

–

You've just arrived at the bar. You prefer to sit on the terrace as it's quieter there. Inside, the music is pumping, and you're hoping to have a chance to chat with your idol. You find a table and order two beers. Jungkook will join later as he always helps with the cleanup after a concert. He's more than just a decent human being; he's the definition of an angel you think.

You're almost done with your beer when the purring of a motorcycle catches your attention. You can't help but turn your head. The sight is too cool: a handsome young man, perched on a Yamaha motorcycle, dressed in black leather. He takes off his helmet, and a mane of black hair cascades out. You try to stay calm as you recognize your favorite singer.

The man gets off the motorcycle and after a few moments, he approaches your table.

Taehyung welcomes him with a big hug, and the two men exchange warm words.

"Sorry for arriving so late," he says. He turns to you, and for the first time, his eyes meet yours directly. You find it hard to breathe properly. "Nice to meet you, you must be Y/N, I'm Jungkook,"

He is so handsome. In real life. Up close. You smile and try to say in return, “Thank you for coming.. after such a concert…You were incredible by the way.” Your cheeks flush as you say those last words. You hear Jungkook chuckle, in an absolutely adorable way. His gaze becomes warm, and a broad smile forms on his face. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he simply replies.

"We had a blast!” Taehyung adds “You rock on stage, my friend. It was cool to see you like that. How are you doing?"

The two men start a conversation, and you observe from the sidelines. You can't bring yourself to speak; there's just too much emotion inside you. Jungkook orders another round of beers. Eventually, Taehyung excuses himself to go to the restroom, leaving you alone with your idol. Your eyes haven't stopped gazing at him. He can feel it, and it amuses him, to be honest. He doesn't see you as a fan; you're his friend's friend. Or at least, that’s what he’d like to find out.

"You and Tae?” He asks with curiosity. “Are you friends, or something more? He has never introduced me to a female friend before." His pierced eyebrow raises, and somehow he becomes even more attractive that way.

You shake your head a bit too vigorously. "We're just friends." you state.

"Ah, that's a good thing," he chuckles again, nodding and finishing his beer in one gulp.

You're confused. He leans closer to you across the table and whispers, "You haven't been talking much. I can sense that you're nervous. You don't need to be. I'm just as intimidated as you, that's why I'm drinking." You can hear him laugh at himself, and you smile at his honesty. He's so genuine. You begin to feel yourself relaxing.

A long conversation about music ensues between you. He asks you about your favorite song, and you argue with such passion that he feels flattered. He can tell that you genuinely care about his music. He finds it adorable that after just two beers, you're almost tipsy. Your cheeks are rosy, and your eyes struggle to meet his intense gaze. He playfully teases you because he can.

Taehyung has returned, but neither of you has paid any attention to his presence. He senses the chemistry that developed during those 5 minutes of absence, and he is genuinely happy for you. However, he also feels a tinge of jealousy. He doesn't want to deprive you of this moment. He genuinely wants your happiness. Taking advantage of a brief moment of silence, he suggests that the three of you go dancing together. Jungkook accepts with enthusiasm. You decide to go along with it.

The music resonates inside. You can feel the rhythm of the bass in your own pulse. Taehyung is a great dancer, with an elegant style that's a pleasure to watch. You think back to Jungkook's question and wonder if Tae is just a friend. While you feel nothing but tenderness for him, despite all his wonderful qualities, you know what it's like to have butterflies in your stomach when thinking about someone. Tonight, it's evident as you watch Jungkook swaying on the dance floor. His movements are fluid and powerful. You feel like watching him dance is almost wrong.

After a while he catches you looking at him and smiles. He actually does his best to put on a show for you to watch as his body follows the rhythm of the music. It takes all your energy not to faint with such a sight. You feel him getting closer for a brief moment just to tease you with his words

"You look very focused."

"Sorry, I... I'm sorry," you stammer, feeling your ears turn red. The truth is that you're doing your best to hide your interest. But you've never been in front of someone who captivated you so much, and you feel quite overwhelmed. It's not the alcohol. It's him. He's worse than a drug, and you wish you were truly drunk so that it could give you a real excuse for behaving this way.

Taehyung interrupts your train of thoughts. "We need to go back, Y/N. It’s getting late.” He has a stern expression on his face. His voice is firm and steady, speaking calmly but with determination.

You understand that it's time to go, and you're disappointed, but you sense that Taehyung is right. You decide to let Jungkook know, but despite looking everywhere, he’s nowhere.

You decide to step outside. That's where you find him. His skin is glistening, he looks so fucking good and to make matters worse, his face lights up immediately upon seeing you.

"I needed some fresh air," he explains. "It was getting hot inside." He winks at you, and you roll your eyes. His way of teasing you pleases you immensely, you must admit. It gives the illusion that you've known each other for a longer time. You really like it.

You know you have to break the mood, so you speak up..."I have to go home, I'm sorry." You stammer. You're tipsy from the alcohol. You don't know why you're apologizing; after all, you had a great evening, but your head is spinning for various reasons and it's time to call a taxi.

"You're not leaving already, are you? I came just for you tonight. Please, stay" he pleads, grabbing your wrist. His palm is warm and strong. It burns your skin, and you feel feverish. His words feel like a bomb going off in your chest.

Just for you. Is he being sincere? At that moment, you really want to give in. You want to stay with him forever.

During your conversation, the sky has turned red because it’s past midnight. You had almost forgotten it was the Blood Moon tonight. You know you need to go home; nothing will compel you to make the right choices, and you'll only end up embarrassing yourself. Without releasing your wrist, Jungkook also looks up at the red orb. "Don’t leave" he repeats. His voice carries an alarm that makes your heart flutter. The chemistry between you is undeniable. But what if it's just the effect of the Blood Moon? What if everything disappears by daybreak?

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook imagine #bts jeon jungkook x reader #bts jeon jungkook imagine #idol!jungkook #Seven days a week #Seven Jungkook #my words

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marengogo · 1 year

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Silver Lining - What If #2 : I Caught You Bae Bae! [PART 1]

Dreamers - by Jungkook of BTS [Music from the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Official Soundtrack]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

This week has been a bit messy hasn’t it? And to top the madness all off, though I’m sure we are all happy to see that JK is doing well, thanks to his IG updates, it would have been great to “hear” from Jimin as well 🥹at this point is like, I know you working but, help a sister out you know? Like we be “worrying”/hella selfish here in this neck of the woods, like … jimiii↗️↘️iiin, I MISS SO MUCH IT HURTS 😭. So I thought I’d stop by to write something … cute me thinks? I think we can all use some fluffy, tender and light STD: Speculations, Thoughts and Delulu. In fact, the idea for this post was the result of me reading this post → Jikook After Tokyo by @wingzie. So welcome to another long ass post!

Though wingzie’s post was clearly about both JM and JK, I haven’t been able to shake off the image of Jimin blushing/being shy. I’ve always felt like Park Jimin is the kind of human being who, at least until circa pre-2018, would instantly wear his heart on his sleeve full-throttle. As of present, he seems to be much more in control with regards to the majority of emotions that he can control, sometimes even resorting to smart talk/ cynicism as a substitute as well. But oh boi, it used to be that we were always made aware of any kind of emotion he felt from little happiness and ecstasy to pet-peeves and straight up being bothered.

The only time we are now privy of a non-controlled emotion from Jimin is when he blushes/gets shy. There are infinite reasons why different people get shy. Some people get shy out of being complimented, some people get shy just being in the proximity of the person they maybe fancy, some people get shy when put on the spot, etc etc etc. When it comes to JM, what in my opinion, seems to be his shy trigger are situations where he REALLY doesn’t know what to do. So he “blushes” or becomes “shy”, so to say, and in his case it seems to happen mostly on 2 particular scenarios:

He is out of depts, not in his element, doesn't want us to know, and he is well aware that it will show on his face.

He hasn’t yet processed his feelings with regards to a certain situation. Hence, he hides his face so that we don’t see how he is feeling in that moment, before he himself can actually process what it is that he is even feeling.

Now, though JM has admitted on many occasions that he is indeed the shiest member of the band, people who are just focused on his performance persona, or just observe him within his comfort zone (which is for example anything with his members RUN BTS, BON VOYAGE etc) will not notice this side of him all, in fact they might even think that he is “capping”.

However, if you keep a closer eye on our dancing fallen-angel-who-actually-still-has-wings, you’ll pick up on his shy moments, which are usually a direct reaction to something that is happening or just happened. To begin with, all members LOVE to “flirt”with him you can harmlessly flirt with someone if you are close to said person and their S/O , or just pull him into “weird situations”, maybe just so they can see that cute blushing face he does. Other known Personalities also love complimenting him and in general JM just really gets flustered by regular attention and simple compliments. It really happens quite often, NGL he is so freaking cute, he knows it but can’t really handle his own cuteness, which makes everyone else act stupid: HE IS EFFING CUTE FAM, like the following:

BUT then … THEN … Then there is another type of JM shy/blushing reaction …

I hereby present to you the UJE: Unknown JK Effect.

The UJE is a reaction that is brought about for reasons that are for the most part unknown, or the actual cause itself is known but the reaction is still bizarre, meaning that in said particular moment, or instance, JK is doing absolutely nothing suspicious or worth blushing/being shy over, yet JM can’t seem to be able to control his reactions and turns into a shy/blushing mess.

Back in the day, when JM was a little younger, and much more impulsive, it would even cause his own self to be disoriented for a second or two. For example when, during the Hondgae Fansign on February 26, 2017, JM placed his hand on JK’s neck and kissed it. I have no idea what made him do something so bold, but his following, momentary, lack of orientation probably was a visual representation of his brain going: “... Yo Bro! Whacchu doin’ Bro?! You ayte there Bro?!” Jin’s reaction was PRICELESS, even though, TBH with you, JK’s reaction was the MOST PECULIAR, but that is a story for another post … (The moment is starts at 2:33).

youtube

BUT, moving, as I kept looking into this “phenomenon” there seems to have been a few instances, 3 to be exact, where the UJE might have actually been directly connected to moments in the “Jikook Timeline” where there was a change in dynamic or something significant happening. Now, as always, the following are all MY speculation, MY opinion, hence, tread with caution:

INSTANCE 1: 2015 - “KOOLIET” WAKES UP

2015 is the year where JK seems to have decided “You know what? Fuck it!”. There are various accounts of the boys letting us know that JK is different on, as opposed to off camera, and at this point in time, from the different VLOGS, interviews and BANGTAN BOMBS we know that JM and JK are actually quite close. The whole JM chasing JK, JK ranking JM last, etc was regrettably all meant to provide entertainment in accordance to the entertainment norms of the time.

However, our Bangtan Boys had always been the exception to the rule, from the very conception. These are 7 humans, who start with following rules at the very start because they didn’t understand “the game” they were playing but even then, they already had very strong personalities and were very much set on their ways, beliefs and ideas and that's probably why BANG PD chose them to begin with. He was REALLY hoping that by choosing extraordinary beings, with the potential for greatness and with some sort of guidance, they would achieve something GREAT. Actually, I sometimes wonder when exactly was it that BANG PD had that moment where he went: “Shiiiiit … they the real real REAL deal!”

But as always, I digress … Back to the point! In the same way Jin decided to throw away his assigned “mysterious handsome character” in my opinion Tae never really acknowledged his character to begin with LOL, eventually JM became ready to let his true self out, hence, renounced the “macho unrequited-love character.” But, don’t go trippin’, JK didn’t snooze either. He sure saw and felt the change, INSTANTLY, and went “Ayte then. Imma also go for mine then. With all due respect, I respect all of y’all Hyungs, but … Imma need one of y’all hyung to get one thing straight 😬🥴 … 😏”

And so JK got to work, and JM …JM … JM was caught off guard. Because the Golden Maknae started publicly changing the game, apparently, without letting him know. All of a sudden, JK publicly didn’t dislike him, JK publicly thought that he was handsome, JK was publicly having “little fits” when JM was maybe interacting with other members. JK made his message REALLY clear and even though JM might have been a bit resistant at the beginning, as he began to embrace the change and perhaps navigate through what these changes would entail, JM shyly enjoyed the moments and at the end of 2015, he seems to have given it whatever IT was a chance and began to go with JK’s flow.

As a quick reminder: I absolutely do not believe the whole “JM fell first but JK fell harder” and if you do, absolutely no shade on you; to each their own. I’m a believer in:

Cupid was already there calmly planning their love story but JK was like “yeah, so, I believe in fate and all, but, I’m not really big on waiting so, yeah, see you at the finish line, ayte? Ayte! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️💨”

Aaaaand … END of PART 1 - It’s hanging out with friends-time so going out for a while but I will be back later today and post PART 2. Make sure to stream DREAMERS ⚽️💜.

Always respectfully your 🫰🏾,

Marengo.

#Marengo's Silver World #Jikook #Youtube

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sidmjkgc · 1 year

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I think the non-italians crowd doesn't actually understand Sanremo. Sanremo is not just a tv show, it's an experience.

On paper, Festival di Sanremo is a song contest where a bunch of singers compete for roughly a week with a song, and get judged by journalists, a professional jury and the popular vote by televoting. It is not a contest to choose who goes to the Eurovision. It's a complete different contest where the winner can choose to represent Italy in Eurovision.

Usually it's aired in early february, and the first day is on tuesday right after the 8pm news up until after midnight, while the final is on saturday. Some years you also get an aftershow, where they comment on the night that we just saw. The name of the participants are announced in december. The songs are all unpublished and super secret, you can only listen to them for the first time on the stage. If your song gets leaked, you get disqualified from the competition.

Of course, dresses and general vibes on stage are important too, not for the contest per se, but for the audience who watches and judges how they dress or act. This goes for the singers, the hosts and every guests. Then there's interviews and gossip and everything that surrounds an event like this. The stage itself with its scenography is important too, the main focus point is the staircase and how everyone walks down from it. It's always held in Teatro Ariston, a theatre in Sanremo (Liguria) and broadcast live by RAI, the public state tv and radio.

This is Sanremo on paper. In reality is a lot more than that.

Because it's a live show, broadcast worldwide, and it starts at 20:45 and ends at 1:30 (when it's not longer) everything can happen. And it will.

Every once in a while there's someone who jumps on the stage to shout stuff, to protest against the festival or the government. Depending on who's participating, sometimes politicians make statements in the parliament against the singers. There's always a piece of underwear showing somewhere, a skirt too high or a shirt cut too low. Maybe a host is not even wearing underwear and shows everything to the camera, like Belen Rodriguez's butterfly tattoo.

In 1961 Adriano Celentano sang while giving the back to the audience in protest. In 1967 Luigi Tenco, a singer who was competing, killed himself in an hotel room after the final. In the early 80's all the singers were lip singing to their songs, and Vasco Rossi decided to put his mic in a pocket and walk away before the song was finished as a protest. In 1986 Loredana Bertè sang while wearing a tight leather dress over a fake pregnant belly. In 1995 someone in the audience tried to jump down the balcony into the crowd and the host (Pippo Baudo) had to stop him. We later found out this was staged. In 2001 Placebo were an international guest, and destroyed their guitars on stage after the audience booed them. Many singers brought controversial songs, such as Povia who in 2009 brought "Luca era gay" ("Luca was gay") about this guy who suddenly becomes straight. Many singers also bought their places or the televote, like the trio Pupo, Luca Canonici and Emanuele Filiberto (from the Savoia family, you know, the used-to-be-kings-of-Italy) who allegedly bought many call centres in order to vote for their song in 2010. The did not win. This is also why now the maximum number of valid votes is five, and after that you can't vote anymore. In the same year, 2010, the entire orchestra destroyed their music sheets in a protest against the elimination of Malika Ayane's song from the top three. In 2019 a racist politician complained about Mahmood singing (and winning) because "he's not truly italian". The same year, Ultimo ended up in second place and had a huge meltdown during the press conference and later on his instagram. In 2020 two singers (Bugo and Morgan) who were participating together fought backstage and Morgan changed the lyrics of the song into something insulting the other one, who walked off the stage. In 2023, this year, Blanco was singing as a guest and couldn't hear his voice in the earpiece and decided to break the flower composition on the stage. They are currently discussing if he should get prosecuted and put in jail for this, I wish I was joking. Also in the same year Rosa Chemical, while competing, decided to kiss the host's husband (Fedez) in a staged performance at the end of his song, and everyone is talking about harassment and the pro life organization wants to report them for indecency. And now apparently the government wants Rai to fire Amadeus (the host for the past four years) because it's "too chaotic and controversial", even though every year the share is astronomical. We're talking like more than 62% of share at 2am. And because they made an official instagram account for the host on stage as a skit, there's a petition to investigate if this was all a gigantic spot for instagram.

There are countless of weird songs and weird performance and weird dresses, countless of singers walking barefoot on stage or falling down the stairs, even more countless of controversies and meme. The songs fly up to the charts and some stays there for months. The most italian famous song is "Nel blu dipinto di blu" by Domenico Modugno who won Sanremo in 1958. And then there are the haters. There are also contro-festival (against festival) happening, where the alternative scene has concerts and other song contests. Literally countless of drama.

Sanremo is more than just a song contest, more than just a week. Festival di Sanremo is a collective experience that lasts for months, becomes dormant during summer (when you are still listening to the songs or artist that came out of it anyway) and makes a comeback in december and then february. It never truly ends.

#sanremo #sid talks #i'm sorry i will shut up about it at some point #but you have to understand how much stuff happens during this week and how it shapes the rest of the time #the list i wrote is just a very small selection of remarkable stuff that happened since the first edition in 1951 #it's been 73 years so... there's A LOT #oh yeah i forgot that there was also a bomb threat near the theatre this year...

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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 1 year

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Christmas Spirit 🎄💞

omg i love your writing <3

could i please request eddie x reader and it’s their first christmas together and the reader is super christmassy way before christmas (like november) but she’s afraid he’ll find her weird so she tries to hide it but turns out they’re both huge christmas dorks? xx

(sorry if that was super long- im just super super christmassy- i listen to christmas music early november, i have so many lights and have my own little tree and just get so extra with christmas! it’s by far my favourite time of year :))

Warnings; none just fluff.

❤🎄

Yn loved Christmas. It was her favourite time of the year and she was already in the mood to celebrate and had spent the last few days listening to Christmas music and renting as many holiday movies as she could get her hands on.

This year was her first Christmas with her boyfriend Eddie and she couldn't wait to spend it with him.

The only thing was... he didn't know how much she loved the holidays and if he would find it weird.

He was coming to pick her up so they could spend the weekend together and she was nervous about what he would think of the fact she had already decorated the house.

Decorative the tree, listening to Christmas music and singing along to her favourite parts while drinking hit chocolate had become her tradition every year.

The magic of Christmas was something she wanted to hold onto for as long as possible, that excited feeling in her stomach when she thought about the countdown to December and up to the 25th.

Eddie's arrival brings her out of her reverie and she grabs her jacket and keys then meets Eddie outside.

He smiles and kisses her.

"Hey beautiful, I missed you sweetheart" she grins with glee and feels her stomach race with butterflies.

"It's only two hours Eds" he shrugs and kisses her again.

"Longest two hours of my life" he pouts and she cuddles into him.

"I missed you too handsome" before he can ask to come inside and see the full extent of her love for the holidays she gently steers him away and to his van.

She would tell him soon and hoped he doesn't think she was weird.

❤❤

"Princess can we go back to your house and pick up those delicious sugar cookies later," Eddie asks her as they settle down to watch a movie.

Immediately he sees her hesitate and he raises an eyebrow.

"Kay, spill it, sweetheart. You've been acting weird for days. Why don't you want me to go to your house" he actually sounds hurt and she feels her heartache. She never wants to hurt him.

"I don't want you to think I'm weird" he frowns.

"Why would I think you're weird babe?" she bites her lip and just comes out with it.

"Well, I love Christmas and it's only early November but I go all out with decorations, my tree is up already and I even have a mini one in my room, I've been listening to Christmas music non stop for days".

Eddie grins.

"That's all it is? You're a massive Christmas dork? So am I! I love it. This is amazing" she relaxes.

"You should have told me, Princess. Hey, you wanna watch a Christmas film now? I rented a few. Wayne got some delicious hot chocolate at the store too"

With that decided she settles down with Eddie pleased her boyfriend is as into Christmas as she is.

Maybe she will surprise him with that babydoll lingerie set she had just bought too.

She grins at the possibility knowing Eddie will love it just as much as she does.

🎄

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n

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jaye-of-the-glen · 1 month

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⏳

Jaye sleeps. Her dreams no longer trouble her, but they remain mysterious. What does she dream of? The past? A memory? Could it be hers? If not, then whose?

The Aviar woman is tall & elegant, her tarsi & feet dark. Curiously, her feathers are nearly all white, unusual for her age. Ah, but... the inquisitive boy looks closer. Yes, there are splotches of reddish gold among her feathers. Curious, very curious indeed.

She continues to lecture her class in French. She is reading from what is fast becoming his favorite book, a story of a pilot & a mysterious boy, & the stories within that story. Many of the people within it remind him in some ways of his friends. So he listens, enraptured, until suddenly the bell rings, & he is snapped out of the wonderful dream of stars & tiny planets.

Shyly, he approaches the new teacher after class. "Bonjour mon élève. Comment ça va?" she greets him. "Ça va, bien," he replies. He searches through his memory for the correct phrase. "Uh, sil vous plait- uh, bonne- uhh..." She laughs in her lilting, musical way. "Non, non, it is fine, English will do. You are enjoying the story?" He rocks on his heels shyly. "Very much, Madame. I just wanted to thank you." She smiles warmly. "It is not often a student goes out of their way to thank me for simply reading to them. But I have rarely seen one so enamoured of this book than you. But unfortunately, I cannot stay long. I must return to my other work."

She tucks a few things in a bag & grabs an aviator cap off a stand, not unlike the one in the illustrations of the pilot in the book. What I wouldn't give for a hat like that, the boy thought. His teacher heads for the door, & the boy jogs after her. Once outside the small single-classroom building, she locks the door & tightens the leather straps of her cap. From a pocket on her bag she pulls out a pair of goggles. "À demain?" She asks the boy. "Will you be here tomorrow?" "Uhh, yes, I mean- oui!" She laughs again. "Tres bien, tres bien. Until then!" She stretches her massive arm-wings out to their full length, & the boy backs away hurriedly but continues to watch. Flight had always been a fascination to him, whether by Aviar or machine. Someday he hoped to build his own aeroplane. His teacher does one final check, then, with a running start, flaps her massive wings until she takes off into the sky. The boy watched her fly away, thinking of another boy, watching a man in a plane.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another dream... another time? Who can say...

She is always excited whenever he visits. Him, the one who always brings her such lovely books & reads stories to her. The last time she saw him, he promised that he would read to her something very different, but very interesting. As the flying machine touched down, she ran over, laughing. The man stepped down & loosed the straps on his aviator cap, laughing also. "What did I tell you about running up to me while the flying machine still makes noise, my student?" She screeches to a stop & shyly rocks on her feet. "Um, it's not safe?" she offered bashfully. "Yes, it's not safe," he replied. "A flying machine is very pretty, but also very dangerous. Only I know how to operate it. Maybe someday I will teach you, after my son learns. He is very eager as well."

She hops around on her feet around him. The machine's noise had long since stopped, & she was excited. "Wha'd you bring me? What are we going to read?" she pestered. He laughed again, in that broad, yet somehow musical way. "Alright, alright, you've waited enough, I suppose." He pulls a book out from his satchel. "I think you're old enough to understand, so today we're going to be reading from my favorite book." She stops quickly in her tracks. "Is it a boring book?" she inquires. He raises an eyebrow. "Boring? Have I ever read you a boring book? But I know what you mean," he chuckles. "No, this is a proper story. I had to find a version in the right language, but here." He shows her the cover, & her eyes widen in excitement. A small boy sits atop a small sphere of rock, looking out into a star-filled sky. A single rose planted beneath a glass case rests next to him. "Ooooh, what's it about?" she asks. "Many things," he replies. "I think you will like it very much. Come on, let's head inside & start reading." And together, they went off into the woods towards her home.

#jaye dreams #jaye narrates #\\ooc:#made this a twofer since we only got one request #really wanted to convey both of these together bc of how much they echo each other #we really enjoyed writing this #the teacher in particular - she's based on a real-life french teacher of ours who we love & still keep in touch with #os game rp

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quilna · 4 months

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Currently obsessing over the persona series you know how it is and i was thinking up on my persona au for tgs and brainstorming some ideas while listening to music you also know how it is but then i remembered! Theres also ANOTHER person who is equally as insane as i when it comes to the persona games and also has their own persona au for tgs! Hello! I wish to hear your random headcanons and facts and just random bits and bobs on your au. Even stuff that is probably considered barely important or noticeable. Give me it all! Feed me knowledge to satisfy my brain! (Please)

Persona aus are just so fitting for jekyll and hyde! I'm honestly extremely surprised that theres not really any persona aus out there considering how well the series fits with the whole... well everything of the main themes of jekyll and hyde! Hiding parts of yourself and having them take personification and be uncovered whether you want to or not is mostly the two main themes of both persona and jekyll and hyde so why not mix them together?

Hello fellow Persona enjoyer!

First of all, YEAH! Persona aus go with Jekyll and Hyde just incredibly well for two completely different medias. Physical incarnations of all the inner feelings that you repress and don't admit to anyone, not even yourself? Having to face them and maybe even fight with them? They just work very well.

I've already said most of my ideas for the persona au and, unfortunately, I haven't come up with anything majorly new since then but I can think about smaller headcanons and stuff that I haven't considered before

Here's the past information I've given in case you haven't read any of it before:

And with that, onto headcanons

Major Plot Headcanons

Comic Occurances

The Persona au does follow a lot of the comic. Aside from Jekyll's experiment to split the human psyche having a different result, they're still dealing with mad science and society at large hating them, Moreau still comes chasing Frankenstein (But the situation ends without a fire because there's no Hyde around), and Jekyll still gets very stressed over the exhibition. But great news! Jekyll's mental state is now connected to a whole separate world so a poor mental state for Jekyll means a horrific and dangerous imbalance between worlds that could destroy both worlds as we know it rather than just an imbalance between his two forms!

Whoopsy. Let's hope he doesn't get back together with Lanyon, letting him become happy and creating the final crack in his mental state that could cause the end times themselves.

...Whoopsy

Hyde's Powers

As I've mentioned before, Hyde is a shapeshifter - his form as 'Hyde' isn't his original form but one he made up because he wanted to separate himself away from his identity as Jekyll as much as possible. Perhaps even from seeing Eli in the other world once and copying his appearance, not knowing what that form would come to mean to Rachel.

Hyde can shapeshift into any person, whether made-up or real. His clothes remain the same when he changes and his eyes are always yellow so he tragically can't mess around with Lanyon and the gang too much with his powers. However, he does use his powers to relentlessly mock people, turning into them and doing impressions. It can also be used in palaces - other shadows don't tend to be bright enough to be suspicious about the changed clothes so he can change into other cognitions to sneak into places.

He can't change into anything non-human - However, if the shadow ruling a palace views people in some different way (For example Rachel's palace cognitions tend to be a lot of cute, little, helpless, and very fragile animals), Hyde can turn into that form solely in the palace due to the owner's cognition of humans.

Lanyon and the Wild Card

Lanyon meanwhile is the least willing Wild Card in existence and probably the worst you can be at it.

He gets freaked out at the Velvet room and Igor and probably does his best to avoid needing to go there. He also probably sucks at talking to shadows to convince them to join his party. Overall, it takes a long time before he picks up more than one or two persona at once out of his sheer reluctance. If he wasn't forced into the other world every night, he probably wouldn't go at all.

Bonus points if I include the headcanon where people's personas can talk to them constantly because Lanyon would just be having the worst time in that case.

Rachel: I think it's very nice that we have our Personas to talk to, it's like we're never alone!

Lanyon, listening to about 10 voices bickering in his mind over whether or not to tell Jekyll his feelings: .............Yeah, sure thing Rachel.

Jekyll, with only one persona but that persona is Hyde: ................

Hyde in Jekyll's body

When Hyde ends up in Jekyll's body by accident, it goes about the same as the comic right now with Hyde causing mayhem. Jekyll is also in there for the ride and, while he's not having the best time, he also gets to be incredibly confused on top of this.

For fun, since the connection between the two of them is already very messed up by Jekyll's experiments, Hyde can possibly continue taking control of Jekyll's body when he pleases even after he's become a proper Persona and everyone who knows about it has to constantly try to stop him doing anything weird. After all they're still dealing with the comic-typical mad science hatred from society and, if anyone catches on to the other world (and especially how dangerous it is) or Hyde, they'll all be in a lot of trouble.

The moment Jekyll's eyes go yellow, about 10 people tackle him at once.

Navigators

Hyde gets to be the navigator first because he doesn't have a persona to fight with like everyone else - he's basically the Teddy of the group - but that will eventually get replaced with someone with a proper persona for it. I'm not sure who the navigator will be yet but perhaps Ito? Or maybe Jasper since he's very good at reading people and all? Unclear.

Minor Headcanons

Rachel has absolutely brought her sewing supplies to the other world to attempt to dress Hyde. If there wasn't such a time constraint to their visits, she would have succeeded.

Hyde's favourite place to visit is a palace in the other world that takes the form of a bar which can give you any drinks you could possibly dream of. He's been kicked out numerous times but keeps shapeshifting into new forms to get back in

Frankenstein is definitely bitter that Lanyon gets the super cool powers and not her. She probably got even more ticked off to find he actively avoids using them as much as possible. (Worst of all is when she finds out that he does his utmost best to avoid using any persona with the same arcana as her. That probably leads to an outright fight)

Most of the lodgers inventions probably work in the other world whether they work in the real world or not due to the cognitive nature of it. As long as the frightened society believes they would work, they do. Unfortunately, this usually means they're more on the dangerous, weaponry side than anything useful because that's how society sees them but, hey, at least the lodgers can have whatever cool weapons they want.

Speaking of the lodgers, they would absolutely swarm on the cognitive world to check out what it can and can't do, hauling inventions over to find out what they do in the space of another world. The main gang have to keep the other world a secret just to stop someone running off and getting themselves killed in the name of discovery

Rachel's cooking and baking definitely has a healing effect in the other world. If it wasn't for Jasper, the lodgers would be curious over why she can be seen hefting around tables-worth of pastries, cookies, and chicken legs around at near-midnight. (Lanyon, tragically, doesn't get such an excuse as he buys bulkloads of weapons and armour off lodgers in exchange for the weirdest things that he just seems to keep obtaining like multiple busts of Frankenstein (?) or piles and piles of birdcages (???) or plants literally nobody on earth has ever seen before (?!?!?!) The gossip mill is certainly churning.)

Arcanas

Arcanas aren't something I've considered in the past because I wasn't sure what determined each arcana for each person but they are a major part of Persona and, therefore, a fun thing to fill in for the au. Possibly less interesting from the perspective of someone reading this, hence why I've left it to the end but you did say you wanted all the little bits and bobs so...

Fool - Lanyon

Obviously, as the wildcard, Lanyon gets the Fool arcana. Looking into it some more on the Fandom wiki, "The Fool is often called a fool because of his lack of understanding of the world, yet that is also his greatest strength, as his actions are so radically different from others that it impacts the world in ways no one would imagine." I never thought about it before but it does fit Lanyon in other ways too as the character in TGS who is less involved in the mad science side of things. He's more of an outsider to the world that he is currently in and holds less understanding of it than the other lodgers but it also makes him more open to making different decisions.

Yes, this role could fit Jasper much better but I like Lanyon a lot and, therefore, I am gifting him Protagonist privileges and that means the Wild Card. Favouritism.

Magician - Hyde

Next arcana needs to be the Magician since they are generally the right hand man to the Fool. "Characters of the Magician Arcana are normally bright and ambitious yet arrogant. They lack purpose or a dream, which they normally find through the help of their friendship of the respective protagonist." in the Megami Tensei wiki which would probably fit Hyde. He's arrogant, ambitious but lacking purpose besides running around having fun.

Moreover, Magicians are "strong in magic and illusion." which is fitting for how I've made Hyde a shapeshifter. Given that he's Jekyll's shadow and Jekyll himself tends to hide himself and project whatever version of himself he thinks people want to see, an illusionist seems fitting indeed. (Also, Magicians apparently get an innate boost to fire magic and, uh *cough* Hyde's arson *cough*)

Lovers - Rachel

Next is Rachel who I think would fit the Lovers arcana? Though it might be more of a stretch. "The theme of the Lovers Arcana revolves around choice, but the concept normally leaves them in what is secretly a dilemma with no right choice. With the help of the protagonists, the characters take a step back and find a balance between both options, or outright change their perspective on the choices they need to make, reconsidering what truly needs to be sacrificed." Which I think would fit Rachel's dilemma with her brother Eli - needing to find a balance between smothering the people around her and dealing with the pain of her loss? She does, after all, voice in the comic that she always seems to end up going too far and driving people away, wanting to stop but being unable to because then she has to face "the hole" where Eli used to be again. A perspective that is outright changed in the comic by finding Ito, someone who genuinely wants to be fussed over.

Moreover "A commonality among individuals of the Lovers Arcana is their popularity, cheerfulness, and their emphasis on social interaction. Lovers characters are almost always the "popular" ones, if not, then they are the "spirited" ones." which seems to fit Rachel? She's certainly spirited.

Death - Frankenstein

Then, of course, Frankenstein is the Death arcana, no question. She's associated with death because of her experiments and all and Death arcanas' "lives have a strong focus on someone that they care for dearly, but are separated from due to some form of tragedy. They carry great guilt inside for this tragedy, despite carrying little to no responsibility for causing it. It's through the bond with the protagonist that they're able to forgive themselves and look to the future with hope." Which, yeah, Frankenstein and Elizabeth. Admittedly, Frankenstein is very much involved in causing Elizabeth's death but I feel like I need to make some stretches here. She has the guilt, she has the tragedy, and she has the death.

Hermit - Jasper

Jasper I think should be the Hermit arcana? "Hermit Arcana characters share the commonality of placing themselves in situations that hide them from the public eye. Hermit individuals hide away from others or act in more supportive roles rather than putting themselves in the spotlight." Jasper supports Jekyll in many ways but dislikes putting himself in the spotlight. Admittedly, I think Frankenstein's Creature could also be this arcana but I also don't think they would get involved at all in anything going on.

Empress - Ito

Ito I think would be the Empress arcana? "They are often stoic, but still present a high degree of care and concern towards others, and like queens, they are mature, elegant, often wealthy, and dangerous when challenged." Ito is stern but still caring towards others and I can imagine her being dangerous when she wants to be but I'll admit that I'm less sure on this one if anyone else has a more fitting suggestion.

"The Empress Arcana often find ways to break out of their strict authority by opening up to their personal, normal and emotional selves; organic traits that do not conform to their responsibilities, expectations and image." Which I could relate to her opening up to Rachel and wanting to do girly things with her?

Lucy could also fit the Empress arcana, being wealthy, mature, and dangerous. Heck, she's even called Queen Lucy. However, she doesn't seem to have any journey she needs to take about opening up to herself - she seems pretty comfortable as the person she is and she seems pretty able to open up without help.

Temperance - Jekyll

Then, of course, Jekyll. I'm going with Temperance for him but I'm sure there are other fitting arcanas. "Characters of the Temperance Arcana are often struggling to find a balance in their lives and in their hobbies, dealing with severe stress but putting great effort into hiding it. This imbalance and stress come from the absence of someone that they greatly cared for, usually through death." Hiding severe stress and balance, huh? The absence of someone they cared for which I'm arguing could be Lanyon and their relationship.

Sure, nobody died but it's an arcana about balancing one's life, it fits very well with Jekyll.

Social links

From there, arcana gets a bit more difficult because we have a lot of lodgers and I don't know who would and wouldn't be involved yet. Neither do we know a lot about them so there would need to be a few headcanons involved.

However, the tarots come from social links, from whoever has a bond with the Wild Card, that being Lanyon, so I suppose throughout the au, Lanyon would need to slowly befriend a bunch of people. Which would be interesting because I don't think Lanyon would want to befriend them. Another way that he is very reluctant to be a Wild Card.

I think with the whole mystery going on with the other world and such, Lanyon would be reluctantly forced to ask around in the society to try to figure out what is going on, accidentally forcing him to befriend people along the way and learn more about them and whoops, you're friends now.

Further than that?

There's a lot of gaps because my focus lies mostly on Lanyon, Hyde, and Rachel and I'm willing to hear other people's ideas if anyone has any! Palaces, party members, headcanons, personas, arcana, just anything anyone has ideas on. Persona has a lot of ideas that one needs to fill to the point where I'm learning that making an au for it is so expansive that it feels like a multiple person job.

Moreover, if you ever want to talk about your own persona au, anon, I would be very excited to hear it too!!! I would love to hear what other ideas people can come up with because there's a lot of room in a persona au for ideas! Just the question of who takes the role of the Wild Card opens up a ton of possibilities, not to mention which Persona games you want to take the most inspiration from!

Anyway, thank you for the chance to ramble, anon, this was fun! There's probably even more I could think of if left for a few days to stew but I don't want to leave this response too late

#quilna's asks #shadow au

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