the difference between sam and dean is that in the phrase “incestuous romantic relationship” sam cringes at incestuous and dean cringes at romantic.
i think he’d be maybe a little weirded out but not that embarrassed if he just. wanted to fuck his brother. like… have you seen his brother? who doesn’t wanna fuck him.
no.. dean’s embarrassed because the thought of his brother not wanting to fuck him makes his heart actually hurt, which he thought was just an overdramatic romcom line. because if he fucked his brother and his brother wanted to keep it casual, it would destroy him.
he doesn’t just want to fuck his brother. he wants to sleep next to him and kiss him and play with his stupid hair and grow old with him and die in his arms.
dean doesn’t wanna fuck his brother. he wants to make love to his brother. and that makes his skin crawl.
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i rewatched the sex scene between dean and cassie, and the samulet is such an active player in this it's driving me insane. it's often the brightest object on the screen, for one, and on top of that it remains more or less in the middle of the screen, propped between them.
then, when cassie starts kissing dean's chest, the dark lighting makes it appear as if she also kisses the amulet due to where it's lying on dean's chest. and when dean flips her over, the samulet dangles between them until it finally drops onto cassie's parted lips:
and then dean dives down and kisses her, not removing the samulet from between them:
and again the dark lighting makes it uncertain whether the amulet is locked between their lips—the subtle implication is that it's there, touching both of them, because the darkness doesn't reveal to the contrary. the samulet is thus a participant in the scene, engaging in acts of intimacy between dean and cassie. and the samulet representing dean's love for and devotion to sam, transfers that intimacy indirectly onto sam as the unwitting third party to the first sex scene in the show.
so anyway why the hell does the samulet stay on during sex if not for incestuous purposes
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I wanna see more Sam thinking God hates him and that he's eternally damned because he's in love with his older brother, I wanna see more John finding out about Sam and Dean and instead of separating them or telling them that what they're doing is wrong, he forces them to go to church and to talk to a priest, I want to see Sam sneak to Dean's room at night only to be stopped in his tracks by overhearing his dad praying "fix my boys", and because he feels ashamed he makes his way back to his own room, I wanna see more Sam down on his knees, clutching his chest, screaming out to a God that won't listen "how could you make me this way, why do you hate me!?"
GIVE ME RELIGIOUS TRAUMA SAM WINCHESTER RIGHT THIS SECOND
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in houses of the holy when sam says “i just wanted to think there was something looking out for me.” and deans like “you have me” and sams like “yeah, i know. but you’re just one person. i wanted there to be something bigger, you know.” and dean looks offended. bro is offended that sam was praying to god because dean is there. how could he possibly want anyone to watch his back other than dean. oooooook maniac
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actually i think dean would have absolutely no idea how to articulate or encompass his feelings for sam. like sam’s known his entire life with complete clarity that he’s in love and that he wants dean in every way etc etc. but i think if u held a gun to dean’s head and demanded he put a name to his feelings for his brother, he literally wouldn’t be able to offer up anything more than “i’m fucked up.”
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it's so great that the pilot episode of supernatural features a monster born out of anguish toward her husband's infidelity. and even greater that sam is the one targeted by her—implying then that sam has been unfaithful.
the show opens with the themes of infidelity and returning home. sam takes the central role in the conflict here and must make a choice to return home.
he stands on the threshold of two homes: family, where he comes from, and stanford, where he's forged a life for himself. his internal conflict is made manifest by the woman in white: like constance, he wants to go home, but he can't. the "home" sam can't return to shifts over the course of the episode. in the beginning, it's the family he can't return to, but by the end of the episode, it's his normal apple-pie life at stanford. these two homes are embodied by jess and dean, who both want him to come back to them.
the home distorts and melds with the lover as a result: jess literally occupies both spaces, which implies that dean occupies both as well. and then the woman in white attacks sam, targets him for his perceived infidelity, or potential for it. but who is it that he's unfaithful to, then? to jess, because he ran off with his brother? or to dean, because he abandoned him for jess?
but sam hasn't been unfaithful yet—he hasn't made his decision, hasn't chosen which home he'll return to. when the woman in white can't leave the impala, he realizes that she's scared to go home. it's a turning point in the literal plot and for sam's internal conflict. he voices his fear of returning home. this as a result implicates which "home" he will inevitably return to.
it's immediately after this realization that constance attacks him. he hasn't been unfaithful—yet. perhaps constance recognizes that sam's perception of home is shifting here, that "home" is no longer jess and has once again become dean. he's on the precipice of infidelity, and the ghost has seen the ending: "you will be."
sam drives the impala, the car he was raised in, the car he has called home, into constance's house and saves the day.
after this, sam becomes reluctant to go back to stanford. his surety from the beginning of the episode has become hesitant as he struggles to choose between his two homes. his home has shifted over the weekend, and it's only his sense of obligation that seems to win out at this point.
the woman in white's prophecy is finally fulfilled when sam adopts the revenge quest of his father. he chooses his home: dean. implicitly, this answers the question of who, exactly, sam was unfaithful toward. he leaves jess alone, vulnerable, and open to attack by running off on a weekend tryst with his brother. sam is the unfaithful husband, dean is the temptress, and jess is the dead wife haunting the next five episodes of sam's life. sam chooses dean, his home and his lover.
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Y’all, I just need dean fucking Sam’s thighs, that it. That’s all I need.
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