#accidental courtship
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Kree having a courting ritual to have their future intended sweep them off their feet in battle or surprise attack.
Ronan unintentionally walking backwards over oc who is on her knees searching for her pen she dropped and he gawks up at her in sheer shock this tiny creature was able to pull a sneak attack on him and get him belly up. And begrudgingly accepts their hand up to get him towering over oc again who does not progress to the next step of courtship to flaunt their victory as they should to name him a prime target to be wooed and afterwards bedded. “You?! You are the one to have brought me down?!”
Oc shows him their pen, “Sheesh drama Queen, all about you, I was looking for my pen. I apologize. Didn’t even see you storming by there big guy.” Turning to walk away leaving Korath there a bit wide eyed at the now dismissed offer of courtship both Kree took that as when he was left there with his subordinate and very unpraised at the moment scuffing his pride a bit as he is a prime catch for any Kree. But apparently no longer for this tiny befuddling creature who claimed to have been in search of a pen in this corner of a wide hall.
Days he strikes up arguments oc huffs and leaves as fast as possible only frustrating and confusing Ronan all the more until he grumbles to Korath when alone again, “They still have yet to conclude their offer of courtship or praise my worthiness as an intended. I am Supreme Commander amongst the Accusers. Hoards on any of our ships and territories would bend to my whim of a time of my attentions.”
“It is possible you insulted them in their first offer.” And Ronan glares at them. “None would claim to be in search of a pen over claim of your hand.” Only making Ronan growl to himself at now having to go and trade places to woo his tiny scorned almost intended. Helped by the equally as helpless Gamora and Nebula on how to do so.
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c!rivals duo au where everything is the same, except, during their duel, dream accidentally performed a piglin courtship custom, and techno decided to accept. like, y'know bird mating rituals? yeah it's the same thing in piglin culture except with fighting, and dream happened to do that and he kept up with techno, so of course techno was going to accept. what's a husband if not a guaranteed sparring partner?
so imagine a "getting married for tax benefits" scenario, except from techno's pov it's getting married for sparring benefits, and from dream's pov he's completely oblivious.
now, techno doesn't really know what species dream is (he thinks dream's human? but he's not sure), but phil tells him that he should perform the courtship customs of dream's culture to be respectful. except techno doesn't fully know what dream is, so he just keeps going through a bunch of customs, like throwing them at a wall except none of them are sticking. and of course he's anxious because oh no phil, what if he's being super disrespectful and now his rival and fiance is never going to speak to him again.
dream thinks techno is acting a bit weird, but he figures techno is just like that.
and then of course dream gets himself put into prison without a trial, and. well. techno's not gonna let this abuse of power slide. especially because it involves his fiance.
#c!rivals duo#rivalsblr#dreblr#yeah idk this just came to me and I had to get it out into the world lol#accidental courtship au
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Who would be crazy or desperate enough to try to sex up Tarn?
I feel like Tarn accidentally could give Pharma the impression he wanted the Jet carnaly and Pharma just finaly is "Ok, you win, have your wicked way with me!" Tarn is shocked when Pharma pops his interface array to display his glistening valve.(Pharma manually activated the lubrication function because he figures Tarn ain't gonna use lube.) Tarn ends up having to roll with it because he doesn't want Pharma to know that wasn't his intention. Pharma just broke a bit more mentally he doesn't dare give the Jet this as a win.
Bonus points if the misunderstanding comes from the differences between Jet and Grounder courting. Pharma thought Mr. Psychological Torment knew he was relentlessly hitting on him.
Hidden level extra secret bonus points if what Tarn ends up learning about the mating habits of jets in the aftermath completely recontextulizes Starscream's shenanigans as the longest running most elaborate attempt as courting in Seeker history because Megatron is oblivious to Starscream's true intentions.
Oooo????? Intriguing, love the return of accidental courting/seduction and it's Tarn of all mecha
Pharma will be so confused by Tarn not acting as how he'd expect, i feel like Tarn will be cumming in like a fucking minute because he is so not used to this, but he will make sure Pharma joins him in that because No Way is this version of Tarn going to neglect his new lover because, again, Tarn is a man of many vices— and sex is about to be one of them.
I just love the idea of Tarn crumbling under the right circumstances
Starscream's elaborate courting attempt must've been INSUFFERABLE to those who knew, like even the most dramatic of mecha didn't hold a candle to it. And it alllllllll went over a busy and unlikely to fuck his subordinates in this situation Megatron's head (that, or Megatron found out and dismissed the idea soon afterward) (because oh starscream, you're not getting what you wanted either :) )
Tarn's research has to be so conspicuous too
LMAO IMAGINE TARN DECIDES IT'S ONLY RIGHT TO COURT PHARMA PROPERLY THIS TIME... and it's a mess because now Pharma's confused on Tarn's odd behavior (cannot get over the image of Tank Courtingggg)
he finds the saddest looking crystal flowers to ever exist on Messatine too because it's definitely not the greatest environment for them. he still finds them though, and I'm tempted to suggest he unknowingly (or knowingly) secretly raided someone's sad little private crystal garden.
#valveplug#mtmte tarn#mtmte pharma#tarnma#mtmte megatron#idw starscream#megastar#kinda#hope my side of things makes sense#i just love the idea of accidental courting#and bullying tarn#all of them deserve quirky little courtship rituals#and that they're learned too#because shit like that needs perfecting and by fuck tarn has not been doing that
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The Best Mistake - Chels_Writes_a_Fic - E, 26 chapters, Words: 127,444 - Hermione Granger does not make mistakes, at least not often. After making the biggest, dumbest, most horrible mistake of her life, Hermione must deal with the repercussions while keeping her relationship with her Auror partner, Draco Malfoy, strictly professional. He, of course, has other plans. Amidst a resurgence in Death Eater activity, the likes of which Britain hasn’t seen since the First Wizarding War, Hermione will come to realize that the mistake she’s made with Draco might not be so bad at all. It just might be the best mistake.
#author: Chels_Writes_a_Fic#aurors#co workers office partners#draco: auror#hermione: auror#death eaters#theo#oblivious#courtship#accidental pregnancy#draco's pov#draco: protective and possessive#anti ron#pregnancy#hermione's pov#hermione: badass#pro narcissa#smut#fluff#harry#narcissa#fenrir greyback#pansy#lucius#george#ginny#daphne#antonin dolohov#side pairing: ron x pansy
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actually funny thing i realized is if you look at everything that happened between sqq and lbh from an outside perspective as a demon (like up to him dying) it would in fact look like sqq was in love with him
i think mobei-jun would hear all of this just thinking “???? yes he very obviously was in love with you???” binghe gets it into his head his shizun only beat him and locked him away to make him stronger. he may seem cruel, but when he needs to he helps lbh. he’s learned how strong lbh is after pushing him for a while.
ofc the abyss is pretty cruel seeming but im sure to demons it must make sense. either you need to re-evaluate strength or maybe he just knew demons should be in the demonic realm, like mbj said when they were fighting. this isn’t accurate to canon but im sure if he explained this all to mbj the northern king would just be like “wow im impressed. this is a courtship ritual that would be the thing of legends in the demonic realm. unfortunate he died though junshang”
#bingqiu#svsss#scum villain#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#sqq accidentally demon courtships lbh#that would be a funny au tho if mobei just told him thats just all demon courtship so lbh goes feral thinking sqq wants to marry him#mbj a lil salty this is better than his courtship game#sha hualing has to throw in the towel hearing this bc her psychological torture has nothing on shen jiu's shit
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And I chose a real twee name for it, too. Traditional Recipe because of course I did.
Bilbo stared at the plate. It was a simple loaf of brown bread, steam still rising from the cracked crust. Nothing spectacular, surely, but that wasn’t what worried him. No, Thorin had managed to stumble upon a tradition that Bilbo himself often forgot about. “Thorin,” he rasped. Oh, dear. Oh, no. He looked up into that warm open face. Oh, hell; I really wish this was real. Before he could respond, before he could react in any manner, a roar of delight swept the crowd.
Thorin stiffened, glancing around them as the Shire churned with sound. “Bilbo? Care to explain?” he asked.
Oh, it’s nothing. You simply asked me to marry you. Bilbo bolted from his seat. “Thorin, let me exp-“
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mat cauthon is so babygirl
#wheel of time#im reading knife of dreams and every time he thinks he has his feet under him something else happens#accidentally giving tuon formal courtship gifts#the eelfinn and aelfinn memory revelations#thom's letter from moiraine#poor guy#he is baby
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We share the love language of biting. Now imagine TWST beatsfolk has that as an actual sign of courting. Like you're chilling with Leona, not dating or wooing him, and then you bite his cheek in affection. And all of Savanaclaw is shocked because among them, it's the same as i.e. proposing marriage. The utter chaos XD
OHH MY GOSSSHHH YOUR BRAIN >>> I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? HAHAHA SODEFHSELKJD i'm gonna expand on that for a few characters...
Accidentally courting them
General warnings: Gender-neutral reader, not really proof read lol. Obvious Malleus and Lilia favoritism <3 I also decided that they ARE dating in this scenario, I think its cuter that way in my head heuheu
Featuring: Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Malleus, Lilia, ... and Rook HAHA.
TW: none! Just a bunch o' fluff of biting your non-human lover without realizing it was a sign of courtship <3
Leona
It was a typical day for Leona. You two were sitting in the lounge where most of the other students lingered, Leona becoming rather... possessive as of late. Instead of resting in his bedroom away from prying eyes as you had requested from your lover, he ignored all your feeble cries requesting privacy. Instead, he holds you in his lap without worrying what others are thinking. A form of showing others you were his, and his alone. You were conflicted in your feelings, staring at him. His eyes were closed, but he could feel your gaze burning into his head.
"How long are you-" Then it happened. You gave in. You gave his cheek a bit of a nibble. All of the sudden the chattering stopped, all eyes were on you, before they start patting Leonas back and giving him congrats while a few seemed to pull presents right out of their asses.
"Wha- what's going on?" Leona grumbled with a light blush before growling and pushing the face of someone who tried to hand him another gift.
"You all look like idiots! You know biting means something different to us. Don't be dumb." Okay, now you were extra confused. Seeing your utter ignorance, Leona sighed.
"Biting in our land is a sign of courtship, herbivore." ...Oh. You blush deeply and hide your face in his chest, Leona looking away flustered and ruffling your hair.
"Try again in a few years, and I just might bite you back."
Ruggie
You were walking down the halls with your boyfriend when suddenly you had the urge to just...bite him. an overwhelming sense of love and affection for the fact he had given you some of the bread he (probably legally) got ahold of. You smiled fondly at the bread and back at Ruggie before placing your mouth on the bulb of his shoulder, causing him to yelp in suprise and dropping his half of the bread.
"wha- huh?! What was that for?" He became flustered, bending over to pick up his bread and slowly move away from you with bright red cheeks. You furrowed your eyebrows and hugged yourself, almost embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I just...I dunno," Your cryptic and non specific response left him with his jaw open and eyes wide, spluttering out things like "We're still in school! I don't have the funds yet-" before a familiar fist came and knocked the back of Ruggies head. Leona stood there smiling in amusement and chuckling at you.
"I don't think they know what that means to us beastman, Ruggie." Even more confused then before, you asked for clarification.
"You just asked him to marry you with that bite of yours, herbivore." Now YOUR mouth was wide open, and Ruggie managed to get flee from the scene without much notice from you nor his senior.
Oh brother. You have a lot of communicating to do with that one.
Jack
You were sitting at the lunch table eating away at your food when you noticed...Jack's biceps. You marveled at the sight of his bulky arms- it's a wonder to you how he managed to become so strong and have the motivation to train all day. With a burst of admiration, instead of biting into your sandwich - you took a bite into his muscle. He yelped in suprise and just stared at you, face slowly turning red. Ace and Deuce laughed at his reaction, ready to ask you what was up before Jack took it upon himself to... well, flustered and rapidly spit-firing plans.
"W-we are still so young! Are you sure about this? I-i never knew our relationship was at this level!" He grabbed both of your hands and looked you in your (bewildered) eyes.
"If you're serious about this, I promise I will protect and love you for the rest of my life. But before we go ahead with the ceremony, I want you to meet my parents and get their blessings. Oh, and I need to get a stable job after we finish school first, too, so I can support you and our future. know we haven't talked about marriage before but-" You quickly cut him off in astonishment before crying out,
"MARRIAGE?! Jack, WHAT are you talking about?! I am absolutely not ready for marriage! What got into you?!"
...Queue Ruggie and Leona hysterically laughing at your utter confusion, reveling in the ignorance of it all for a few moments longer before explaining properly what you had just committed yourself unknowingly to.
Malleus
You were laying in the bed of Malleus Draconias's dorm, scrolling on your phone whilst his tail wrapped around your waist as he sat next to you reading a book. You sighed lightly and leaned your head back against the board of the mattress, turning slightly to look at your handsome fae lover. Your eyes then went down to his pale and perfect skin of his neck, the way it was free from all blemishes, smooth, and bright. Something about it made you want to taint it a light shade of red... He felt you shuffle slightly to adjust your body to be in just the right position where his neck was in full view. He glanced over to you feeling you wriggle free from his tails grasp, tilting his head seeing the look in your eyes crazed as you leaned over and just...chomped down on his collarbone.
You felt his tail twitch and his hands quickly throw the book he was reading aside to grasp your wrists, turning your body around and pinning you to the bed and carrassing your cheek with his tail.
"Biting..." He murmured, "Does this mean the same to humans as it does to Fae? You wish to be wed?" Your jaw dropped and cheeks took on a rosey hue, stuttering over yourself.
"W-wed?! I mean, I like to bite when I feel affectionate b-but marriage...I mean maybe one day b-but-"
"Biting in Fae culture is a sign of courtship and ownership. How brazen of you to mark me," he chuckled, "I shall take it you wish to own the next king of Briar Valley?" You could tell at this point Malleus was teasing you, something he picked up from the time you two have been dating.
Malleus could not help but return the favor by riddling your body with his own bite marks. Although he understood you perhaps did not have the intention of marrying him with your silly little form of affection, he knew in his mind with every bite that he was very serious about your future with him.
Lilia
Lilia already knew that biting in the human world did not mean marriage, yet was akin to something more of "cute aggression." So when you have the habit of biting him in the privacy of yours or his room, he knows you simply meant it as a form of affection, letting him know that you had an overwhelming sense of love for the old fae. He bit you back consistently on many occasions, it just seemed to be the perfect form of showing love for one another.
You didn't actually know it meant something much deeper, until you were in the diasomnia lounge and unable to control yourself as you grabbed Lilias hand and bit down gently on his wrist. You couldn't help it, he was being so entirely silly and loving towards you, that you couldn't help but show this public display of affection. Much to everyone else's dismay, however. Sebek stares at you with his mouth agape, sounds of disbelief escaping past his lips yet a sentence unable to form. Malleus as well seemed surprised at this.
"(y/n)," Malleus said, "You wish to marry Lilia?" You coughed at the sudden question and let out a feeble and awkward chuckle.
"I mean...I wouldn't mind one day, of course. We haven't really talked about it. Why the sudden question?"
"HOW DARE YOU," Sebek cried out after finally finding his words, "How dare you bite Lilia and be so insolent as to not move forward with your actions in dignity! YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROPOSAL-" Lilia started snickering, cutting Sebek off with a wave of his hand.
"It's quite alright, Sebek. Biting means something much different to humans than Fae, I suppose this is the first you had seen us put on a show of affection, hence your confusion." He turned to you, who had furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips at Sebeks sudden outburst.
"Biting, my dear, is a form of courtship to us fae. It is a sign of ownership," He chuckled.
"Why didn't you tell me that?!" You exasperated, "I mean, it wouldn't have changed anything I have done, but I would have been more careful about it... especially if it means something more to you," Lilia gracefully explained he understood it meant something slightly different to humans, before gently grabbing your hand and raising it to his mouth.
"Well, now that you understand what it means," He put your ring finger into his mouth and took a bite at the base,
"Would you like to bite me once more, my dear?"
Bonus:
Rook
You bit his arm and he immediately was on one knee.
"Was that a proposal? You know mon cheri, biting one affectionately is often a declaration of courtship-" You hit the top of his head and walked away from your interesting boyfriend.
"You're not a beastman or a fae! I'm never biting you again!" Your face red and folding your arms, turning away (ah, his cute tsundere lover.)
Oh woe is Rook! He begs and begs you to bite him more, he wants to be covered in your marks. It means you were claiming him as your own, right? RIGHT??
~~~
This was so fun to write DFSEFDSFIHSLDKJF thank you for the brain rot heuheuheueheueh
Masterlist
#Twisted wonderland#Twst#Twisted wonderland x reader#Lilia vanrouge#lilia x reader#Malleus#Malleus draconia#Malleus x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt#Leona kingscholar#leona x reader#twst fanfictions#ruggie x reader#Jack howl#Jack howl x reader#Twisted wonderland fanfictions#twst fanfics#twst x reader
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Accidental Courtship :3
Accidental courtship
ft: Savanaclaw, Octavinella
cw: possible minor spelling errors (blame the dyslexia), established relationship, swearing, implied fem reader
Penguins have this adorable courtship ritual where the male gives the female a smooth pebble, if the female is impressed by the pebble she accepts the gift and mates with the male
I know that jade, Floyd, and Azul aren't penguins, but i thought it would be so cute if their s/o gave them a pebble and basically proposed but not knowing what it meant.
And for the beast-men (Leona, Jack, Ruggie) i thought it would be cute if there was a special beast-men way of courtship, I couldn't think of anything though, but then i remembered that for a lot of mammals (and animals in general) grooming is a form of bonding, so what if licking was a form of courtship?!?!
ENJOY
Savanaclaw
Leona: he awoke from his nap when he felt a pair of hands running through his hair, he sniffed the air, realizing it was just his s/o he closed his eyes once again, surrendering to the comforting feeling of your hands, he hated to admit it but he loved when you played with his hair, it was something he looked forward to and expected. what he didn't expect however was the sudden wet feeling that graced his cheek his eyes shot open and his head snapped in your direction
"so soon? at least wait till we graduate"
your so confused, he realizes that you probably dont know what you just did
"for beast-men, your lick was you asking me to marry you you dumb herbivore"
he wont admit it but his heart was pounding in his chest
Jack: he had finished his classes for the day and was walking around the campus grounds, when he spotted you his tail started to wag a bit, he attempted to stop, annoyed that he was giving away how he felt. he walked over to you, he wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him you smiled up at him, kissing his cheek, he smiled at you and walked with you to the ramshackle dorm, you guys sat in the guest room you had been working on you had been pretty bored all day and wanted to do something to make you laugh, why not lick your boyfriend see what his silly reaction would be, little did you know the implications behind this supposedly innocent action. as soon as your tongue brushed his cheek he was off to sofa and staring at you in shock, he moved so fast that your tongue was still hanging out of you mouth
"i-im not ready"
his voice was shaky and his tail was wagging at a super sonic spread
"i mean you need to meet my parents and my siblings, and i dont have any money, i mean were still in high school, marriage is a very large leap"
you were so fucking confused Marriage? when you asked what he was talking about he looked at you confused
"you licked me... you want to marry me...right?"
you blushed and told him that in your world its just a weird thing to do. he sighed in
"so no marriage then, good, i love you but im not ready for that yet... try again in a few years"
he winked, his tail giving away his feelings
Ruggie: you had gotten some powdered donuts from Sam's store earlier and you were super excited to eat them, you rushed to your dorm hoping to avoid the food thief you called a boyfriend but it was useless, he could probly smell them from 3 miles away, he saw you running smelt the sweet scent of donuts and took off after you, he caught up quickly, snatching the box from you hands
"watcha got here shihihi"
he held the box out of your reach and took a donut out, he quickly shoved it into his mouth as you pouted, you loved him to death but god was he annoying sometimes you noticed how he had gotten some of the powdered sugar on his nose and an idea of revenge sprung into your mind, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to you
"you gonna kiss me~" he teased you, he wrapped an arm around you resting a hand on the small of your back while his other held the donut box.
you licked his nose, he tensed up, his eyes widened and he stumbled back almost falling over
"i-i dont- i mean-" he turned around, he grabbed his ears and pressed them down, trying to calm himself down, he had never felt so flustered before, but could you blame him? his s/o just asked for his hand in marriage "i accept but... so soon?"
you looked at him confused, he took a moment, realizing that what is a marriage proposal for beast-men might not be the same for humans, but everyone was aware of the tradition, then it clicked, you weren't from here, you had no idea what you had just done. his blush was still there, and to be honest he was dissipated, he licked you cheek "that is a proposal for marriage" he admits, looking away embarrassed, he shoved the donut box back into your hands and quickly walked away mumbling a quick "i love you" his tail was small, but it was wagging as he zoomed away from you.
Octavinelle (penguin esc courtship)
Floyd: he hated working at the cafe, it was so boring, why would he work when he could be with his little shrimpy? he found you outside of the ramshackle dorm, you were on your hands and knees digging round a pile of rocks
"shrimpy~" he lifted you up and hugged you from behind "what are you doing?"
he asked, examining the rocks you held in your hands, you didn't answer, instead you picked on of the rocks you had and handed it to him, it was smooth, and had a faint blue undertone to it, he squealed and snatched it out of your hand, he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you till you felt like you were about to burst, he kissed you passionately before skipping off to tell his brother and Azul, you just stood there, confused as to why your boyfriend was so happy about the rock you gave him, i mean sure it was cool but was it that exciting for him? a couple hours later there was a knock on the door to the ramshackle dorm, you opened the door and say Floyd standing there frowning slightly
"do you know what a rock means"
you shook your head and you swear it looked like he was about to cry
"so you weren't asking me to marry you?"
you shook your head again, now understanding why he was so upset, you hugged him and kissed his cheek promising him to marry him one day, as soon as he heard that he was happy again, hugging and squeezing you all night long.
Jade: he was observing the mushroom he was growing, they had a strange mutation that he hadn't seen before and was eager to study, he was writing down the differences and comparing them to known mutations when suddenly you burst into his room clenching something in your hand, he turned to you smiling at you, he closed his mushroom guide and walked over to you, kissing your forehead and ruffling your hair, you hold out your hand and show a small smooth rock to him, he blushed, hugging you tightly
"are you aware of what your asking me?" he asked, his voice shacking lightly as he hugged you tighter, part of him wished you meant what mer-people mean when they give rocks, but he knows you arent used to the tradtions and culture in this world
he pulled away slightly and when he saw your confused face he smiled sadly "in merfolk culture you asked me to marry you" he chuckled as you blushed "i want to be the one to give you the rock dear" he mumbled into your hair he pulled away caressing your face before picking you up and taking you to the couch to cuddle.
Azul: he was in his office doing paper work and for the cafe, he was stressed, his hand was starting to cramp from the amout of writing he had been doing. the door to his office opened and you entered, his eyes lit up as he say you, your presence always made him feel better.
"hello my love"
he smiled at you softly, he open his arms for a hug and you wasted no time crawling into his lap and hugging him tightly, he kissed your shoulder, you reached into your pocket and handed him a pretty rock you had found earlier, his faced flushed with a blush
"m-my love? i- i mean y-yes ill marry you, but at least meat my family first, do you have a venue in mind? a dress? i can help you look- wait your not proposing? oh... you dont know do you"
as disappointed as he was that he wasn't going to marry you he chuckled and laughed
"my beloved your little rock was a proposal of marriage"
he smirked at you, watching as you face as you realized what you had done, he kissed you shoulder and cheek again
"just know love.... i will say yes, i will always say yes to you"
a couple days later when you walk into his office you she the rock you gave him on the shelf behind his desk, it was in a glass container, when you asked Azul all he said was
"its special to me, i wish to keep it forever"
End notes:
i had no idea what to do for leona and i think its pretty obvious, but i had fun writing this! its my first time writing for twst characters and i think i did ok... i hope
I am accepting requests :)
#twisted wonderland headcannons#disney twst#twst#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#floyd leech#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#jade leech#twst leona#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#ruggie bucci x reader#twisted wonderland ruggie#ruggie x yuu#jack twst#jack howl#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland imagines#twst x reader#twst headcanons#twst fluff
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Now look here, it's sugardaddy! x sugar baby! reader time >>:3 So here's the rundown: the reader is a college senior who works part-time in a diner and finds out that their favorite customer, Toji, is a sugar daddy and wants to initiate courtship. Although it is a proposition you fail to see yourself saying no to, is this something you can see yourself being in the long run?
A/n: This prompt was picked on a poll to celebrate getting over 50 followers, only for me to get to 100 right after!!?? Y'all...can I give you a hug? ;w; No, oh okay. Anyways, I won't make another poll, BUT I'll be opening thirsts/requests soon!! >:D I just gotta make myself a disclaimer list before we let those lil fantasies of yours fly, lol. But yeah, this is my first time posting a fic over 1k+, so I hope y'all like it. Also, bonus: there's art drawn by Moi (@hoshigaby)?? You'll have to scroll down to find it tho :33 Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead and read!!!
Cw: soft dom! Toji x fem! reader - implied age gap (the reader is in their early 20s, Toji's around early or mid-30s) - mating press - cervix fucking - oral (fem! receiving) - pussy drunk Toji - breeding - daddy kink - overstimulation (fem! receiving) - pet names (baby, babygirl, darlin', good girl, honey, kid/kiddo, mama, princess, sweetie, sweetheart) - praise - clitoral play (Toji pinches your clit) - reader isn't a virgin but, it's the first time you and Toji have sex.
Wc: 4.9k
"Oh look, your favorite is here."
10 o'clock, it's closing time. All the servers and bussers are ready to buss down tables and sweep the floors, hosts at the front split up tips and head straight home, and the cooks clean the kitchen and throw out the trash. All there's left is the silence of the dining area, where not a single customer is in sight.
Well, minus the one Utahime points out to you.
You turn to the bar area, where almost all the tables are empty, and all the high-rise televisions are turned off. All but for one, which was showing a football game.
A man is watching the screen, sitting in a booth at the far end with a glass of beer on the table. He's wearing a black turtleneck covered with a denim jacket, white fur on the collar, and a silver chain contrasting the black clothing. You gaze downwards to his black jeans pants, where his left foot seems to be tapping the ground. He's waiting for someone.
Once his eyes catch your approaching figure, his deadpanned face shows a smile in recognition. He was waiting for you.
And you smile back as you walk towards him.
The familiarity with this man comes from a year working at the diner. His name is Toji Fushiguro, and he's been a regular even before you started working here. And to make things funnier, he was the first customer you served after a week and a half of training. You can recall when you accidentally put milk and sugar in his specifically requested black coffee, to which you apologized profusely ("Heh, it's alright, darlin'" He flashed a smile that was meant to reassure you. "The first time that's ever happened to me.").
It was there that you found yourself being the only person that's served him. At first, you thought of it as some sort of joke after the coffee mishap, but now, unless you're there to take his order, he'll only have a beer or black coffee with all the other servers. The crew often pokes fun at you, stating you're the older man's favorite. And you gotta admit, it makes your heart swoon knowing this is true.
"There she is," Toji watches you approach him with his foot finally stopped tapping the checkered floor beneath him. "My adorable lil' server."
You giggle as you sit on the cushioned booth seat across from him. "It's good to see you, Mr. Fushiguro. I hope life's been good for you." You wave goodbye to the guy behind the bar counter, who turns off the TV still on as Toji focuses on something else. You promised to be the last person to turn off the lights and lock the doors before leaving, so now it's just you and Toji.
"I thought I told you to drop the Mr. Fushiguro, kid." He reprimands you with his playful smile, the right corner of his lip quirking his scar upward. "And I could ask you the same thing. How's college goin', darlin'?"
An exaggerated sigh leaves your system. "It's going alright. Can't believe I'm about to be done after the next semester, but the senioritis hasn't hit me too strong yet, thank God. And I can't wait to graduate with all this debt on my back~!" You flash the fakest beaming smile with two thumbs up.
Toji chuckles at your fraud enthusiasm. "Mmmm, I bet. But I know you're smarter than me and most people who work for me, so I'm sure you'll do just fine."
"Yeah, I'd like to think so, too." Your chipper attitude dwindles, and Toji notices the change in tone.
"What's up? You don't think you'll get yourself a job?"
"Umm, well," You cough to clear your throat from awkwardness. "I tried signing up for plenty of internships. Some of them shut me down, others just haven't replied back. And I guess it's just me overthinking, but I worry that I won't get a job in something I like..."
"Aww, princess," Toji rises from his cushioned spot to move to your side, sitting close to you with his big jean-covered thigh brushing yours. He places a hand on your back to rub comforting circles. "That's just the thoughts in your head."
You groan into your hands. "I know, that's why I don't know why I'm beating myself up about it so much... But it's okay! I know I'll be fine because I still have this job keeping me going for a year."
Toji raises a brow. "You wanna be a server all your life? Wanna serve me my black coffee and BLT sandwich til my last breath?"
You hit his chest in amusement. "Well, no, but if it comes down to it, I don't mind. I'll just take up more jobs or maybe make a side hustle. Either way, I know Mei Mei will help me out. I'm sure everyone here will if they have the chance."
"I could also help you."
Your hands instantly go up defensively. "No, Mr. Fushiguro, I wouldn't want that! I'm sure you're pretty busy, and I don't want my troubles to burden you."
Toji's eyebrows knit together, his sharp eyes surveying your defensive stance. "It wouldn't be trouble if I'm the one offerin' to help you, honey."
"Yes, but even so..." You look at your lap as your fingers dance with each other to ease your anxiousness. "It would feel unbefitting to have a customer — a valuable one such as you — to help me with my financial problems. Seeing you smile at me when I serve you your coffee...I'm perfectly content with just."
Your gaze locks into your fidgety fingers, saying the last part was probably unnecessary. Yet it was true; Toji had always been patient with you whenever he stopped by, even going the extra mile by giving you a seriously generous tip after his meals. You know you didn't deserve it, but he's already at the door before you can argue with him. If his gracious action was just a mere small percent of what he could do, then he's done plenty for you than needed.
Toji, however, didn't see it that way. He hums as he leans back onto the booth seat, his hand now snaking to the back of your neck, his thumb caressing the nook of your neck and trapezius.
"Well," He breaks the silence, you're listening. "What if we take this outside of customer service?"
The brows are pulled together as you turn to him in slight confusion. "What do you mean by that?"
"I've been thinking for quite a while," with his hand maneuvering to rest on your shoulder, he sighs and straightens himself up. "Your manager, Mei Mei, right? I talked with her not too long ago, telling her how much of a hard worker you are and how even while still in school and suffering with assignments, you still smile and make sure the customers enjoy their time here."
You give him a thanks, and he continues on. "Which is why I told her about what I wanna do. So here's my proposition: I'll pay for everything for you. Your debt, bills, clothes, whatever it is your pretty lil' head is worryin' 'bout."
Toji's promise does sound comforting to the ears, but you think about your part in all this. "So, do I have to work for you?"
He chuckles. "No, baby, not working fr' me. But there is something I want you to do."
"Yes?"
Toji doesn't give you a clear answer, staring at your face with a soft smile. You wonder why he's being odd until his face leans forward, and the hand on your shoulder pushes you into a kiss. You let out a yelp into his mouth, but the shock diminishes once you succumb to his warm, intoxicating lips. He tastes like beer, definitely from his drink.
He removes his lips from you, and you faintly exhale in an unsteady breath. "Mmmm, yer too much fr' me, sweetie." Toji groans and kisses down your neck while you place a hand on his chest to grip his turtleneck for support before you dissolve into his arms. And although you shouldn't be at your work at this time of night doing this, it felt too good to end.
"I want you to be with me," Toji says in-between smooches on your neck, moving to paint the other side with his pecks. "You're so good to me, darlin', always being such a good girl." He nibbles on your clavicle, and a soft gasp rewards his eardrums. "Lemme take care of you, y/n."
All that's going through your head is the feeling of his lips on your body and the arousing throbbing sense happening in your nether core.
"Hmm, whaddya say, baby?" His lips are too close to your ear as he playfully bites the lobe. Your thighs rub against one another, and you know there's a wet spot in your panties. "Gonna be my perfect girl?"
If you don't give him an answer quick, you're bound to melt right on this seat, and being a whimpering mess to his touch is embarrassing enough.
"Haaaah...Y-yes," You finally answer in weak whispers, mind spinning and eyes glossy. "I wanna—Ahaaa...I wanna be yours."
You can feel Toji's lips curl into a smile. He lifts his head to look at you, and a hand comes up to cup your face before he gives you a soft kiss on your quivering lips.
"My good girl."
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A few months have passed since you and Toji formed this new relationship. And getting used to certain things is still a challenge.
For one: covering up your new lifestyle is never easy when you're out with people you know. During winter break, you went to dinner with your friends and offered to pay for the whole table. They looked at you as if you were talking nonsense ("Girl, where the hell you get that kind of money to be covering for all of us?" "For real, is this the same diner you've been working at? Are they hiring?").
Another thing that wasn't easy to get accustomed to was Toji spoiling you. Since you're a college student, Toji only sees you every other weekend when he has time. During those days, Toji doesn't hold back in showering you with gifts and affection. Between the fancy dates in expensive restaurants, riding rides at fun amusement parks, or the bags of new clothes you bring back to your dorm, it was something you didn't expect to happen so quickly. Your roommates constantly tease you about this "mystery man" who makes it known you're his special lady.
But outside of that, the most significant change was you and Toji. To say you two got closer was too easy to put into words. Sure, the money was there, so you could finally get a good night's rest without worrying too much about your school debt or bills. However, you knew this went beyond the dollar bills and the fancy clothes.
Come to find out, Toji knows and remembers things that amaze you. There was a time he bought you a whole wardrobe worth of dresses because he remembered you had to cancel dates with your friends since you had nothing cute to wear. Or the time he got you a box of your favorite teas, even though you briefly mentioned them to him during a talk way back from recollection.
And even away from the materialistic things, you can feel how much Toji loves you. You can feel it in his eyes whenever he's looking at you. You can feel it when you try to argue yourself out of trying an outfit you don't think will be good on you, but Toji coaxes you into it because he knows — not thinks, knows you'll look good wearing it. You can feel it in his hands when they hold yours, when he places a hand on your thigh and rubs it in loving warmth, or when he caresses your cheek when he kisses you goodbye when you two have to return to your own lives.
It's a type of love you didn't see yourself being on the other end of. The more immersed you are, the harder it is to imagine yourself out of it.
Spring break is now upon us, and Toji has invited you to join him overseas for a business trip. You tried to decline, saying it's his trip and you don't want to intrude on his business. That argument was immediately shut down ("Tch, believe me, sweetheart, you're saving me from bashing someone's head in if you're close to me than not. Plus, I wanna see you wear that cute swimsuit I got you."), so he dragged you on his private jet, and now we're here.
During the day is when he's away for work, so you spend the morning either in the penthouse suite you two are staying in, outside taking pictures to show Toji later or looking around at the little shops nearby. Toji is done with work around the early afternoon, so you two spend time together exploring the country, trying new foods, and taking walks around the area while talking about how your day went until the sun goes down.
Everything goes well until Thursday when Toji texts you saying something happened at work and that he'd be at the suite later than usual. Well, it's 7:45, the sun is starting to go down, and Toji is still nowhere in sight. I hope everything is alright on his end.
You're unsure about going outside for a walk on the off-chance you stay out too late. And if something happens to you while Toji isn't close by, that'll give him more to worry about on his plate, and you definitely don't want that for him.
So, you look around the penthouse to see if there's anything to keep you occupied until Toji's return, and then what catches your eye is the swimming pool outside on the terrace which you haven't tried yet. That'll do!
You go to change into a swimsuit, a cute two-piece that Toji bought for you when you two went shopping together. After a quick shower, you enter the pool and enjoy the calm waters while watching the sunset, leaving a beautiful array of colors painting the sky over you.
Tomorrow is your last day here while Toji will do business, and then you're back to school on Monday. The fact that you'll be graduating debt free still blows your mind. Toji really fulfilled his promise and took care of your worries.
Is that to say that your relationship ends once you touch that diploma?
You lift your feet and lay on your back to allow the water to hold you up, ears covered in the water and face looking into the sky as you're lost in your thoughts.
It wouldn't be too far off if Toji wanted to close this whole thing off when you graduate, as the point was for you to not worry about debt and such. That much you understood from the very beginning. But what happens after that? Do you two just go back to being acquaintances that only meet at the diner? And what about the stuff he got you? Do they stay with you forever? And do you have to fight memories of him every time you see them?
What about all the touches, all the hand-holding, all the cuddles, and all the kisses? Are they supposed to mean nothing to you the next time you see his face?
You're thankful for the water keeping you afloat in the pool, but having these thoughts attack your brain just makes you want to sink in loathing.
Until you feel something tickle your feet, having your body react in a state of panic. No longer floating on your back, you search for whatever is torturing your feet. Only to find Toji in front of you wearing black trunks, he chuckles lowly, and your heart sinks in embarrassment.
"T-Toji," You swim up to greet him. "How long were you back from work?"
"For about 10 minutes," He watches you move through the water, following you to sit in the shallow part of the pool for you two to talk. "I saw you in the pool and thought I'd join. I tried callin' out to ya, but the water was blocking your ears."
"Hehe, sorry about that. I was thinking about something. How was work?"
His face went into a deep scowl with rolled eyes, and you giggle at his nonverbal response. "Had I not known I was comin' back here to see you, I'd probably fucked that rookie up."
"That bad?"
He hums and brings you closer to him with his hand on your shoulder. "But don't worry 'bout it. And you? What were you thinking about?"
"Hmm? Oh, it was nothing," your encouraging response is fictitious.
Toji lowers a brow. "Try again."
"No, honest! It was nothing, Toji."
"Don't make me tickle you again, kiddo." You freeze and look at his face. His sharp gaze and slight grin speak for themselves about his seriousness.
A sigh is withdraw from your lips. "I was just thinking about how I'd be leaving on Saturday and being halfway done with my senior year of college."
"And?"
"And, uhh," You gulp and avert your eyes to your lap, your fingers swaying with the pool water. "I was also thinking about me... and you?"
There's silence, the lack of response eating you alive. Then you feel Toji's hand grip your shoulder.
"Are you scared I won't be with you after you graduate?"
He hit the nail because you don't answer for a few seconds. Your eyes still avoid him.
But Toji still persists. "Do you not want to be with me?"
Your head turns to face him in haste, taking you aback at how fast you were. "No! I don't want this to end. I'm grateful for how close you and I have become. I want... I want..." You fall silent once more as your head moves back to your lap as if you'd find the words you want to express lying there.
Using his free hand, Toji grabs your chin to look his way again. "What do you want, baby? Use your words fr' me."
The intense gaze of his jade-green eyes captures your attention, practically daring you to look away from him. The warmth of your cheeks spreads around your face, and you gulp before answering.
"I really appreciate all that you've done for me. And I...I really like you, Toji. I want to be with you." His face doesn't change as you ramble on, causing you to move your eyes to avoid the awkward stare. "But I wouldn't blame you if you want to stop with where we—"
Your sentence was interrupted by Toji's kiss, and a squeak was suppressed between the two lips. You exhale in bliss as your hands find purchase on his solid chest. He deepens the kiss when his hand is posted at the back of your neck.
You break the kiss to breathe, Toji's gruff chuckles fills the warm air.
"You're too adorable, princess. Do you really think I'd want to let my precious girl away from my sight?" You open your mouth to interject, but Toji lifts your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing each knuckle. "Listen here, darlin'. I didn't offer to take care of your debt on a whim. I adore the fuckin' shit out of you, and I was gonna wait til your graduation to ask if you'd still want this thing to be official."
"But now that I hear you're interested," his big hand holds yours, fingers intertwined as his thumb brushes your forefinger. "Are ya up for it?"
You breathe slowly to ease your heart, beating at an irregular tempo. You grip his hand in return and offer a sheepish smile.
"Yes. I'd like that very much, Toji."
He smirks and kisses your cheek. "Good girl." Toji has his arms placed behind your back and under your legs. Then he stands up while picking up your figure bridal style. He grins hard when you squeal in surprise as your arms sling around his neck.
"Let's shower," he walks out of the pool and into the suite. "And then afterward, I'll show you how much I've been itchin' to make you be my girl for real."
The heat on your face grows tenfold, and Toji barks a laugh when you hide your face. You can only mentally pray for yourself for what's to come.
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That little prayer did absolutely nothing!
Now you're lying on the bed nude and wet from the shower as the water droplets on your body slide down to the satin sheets beneath you. Your hands cover your mouth, trying to suppress the moans and sobs from exiting your lips.
And the cause of this is the man currently nestled between your legs. You can see the raven hair between your inner thighs, but you feel a wet muscle lapping around your vulva. The lewd noises of Toji eating you out fill the room and has you writhing in discomfort, and you try to slowly move your lower region away from his ravaging mouth.
"Aht aht, you're not goin' anywhere, mama." Toji's rough hands grip your waist and pull you back down, his nose brushing your clit as you jerk upwards. He lifts his head to look at you, and the image of your slick smeared all over his mouth and chin almost makes you faint.
"Put those hands down, baby. Let Daddy hear that sweet voice of yours." He uses one hand to play with your pussy, middle and forefinger abuse your inner lips as his thumb grinds down on your sweet bud. Your eyes shoot up for the stars, and you're forced to do what he says, hands gripping the sheets while your cries are out for him to hear.
"Aahhhh!! Haaah, T-Toji!! 'S too much, too—Ooohh!" His tongue returns between your cunt, licking and tasting the sticky fluid coating your pussy. Your eyes are watering, your mind starts to feel dizzy, and your legs can't stay still to save your life. He's been doing this for 15 minutes!!
You clutch his hair and wail out his name in pleasure, earning a moan from Toji as his grip on your thighs gets tighter.
He can tell you're close to finishing, so he helps you. His tongue slides from your wet center to your clitoris, licking and sucking on the extremely sensitive bud, his teeth lightly pressing down on the pearl.
Your release comes instantly, and your walls spasm as you cry in pure euphoria. Your head pushed deep into the pillow below you, letting your body finish reacting to the climax. However, Toji doesn't wait for you when his mouth drinks your essence. His tongue attacked your sore velvety walls, having you gasp for air.
When he's done, he finally withdraws from between your legs and kneels before you, taking in your disheveled figure. Your tear-stricken face and hooded eyes peer up at him as he wipes his face of your excess come, licking the rest from the back of his hand.
Toji snickers hoarsely. "Sorry, sweetheart, you tasted so fuckin' good I couldn't help myself. Besides," you watch his hands trail down to his dick as he places himself on your messy vagina. "Gotta get you prepped up fr' me."
He puts a pillow under your lower back to raise your hips more. Seeing his dick for the first time has you in mental turmoil. Toji notices you looking and sneers, pulling your hips to him so his balls practically kiss your opening, his dick on full display on your lower abdomen. The girth alone has your cunt pulsating in anticipation, and good God, the length of that thing. It's not the first dick you've seen in your life, but it's definitely the biggest challenge you've come across.
I hope those 15 minutes of prep were enough.
You come back to your senses when you feel the tip of his hefty member circling the corners of your folds, and your slick aids him as a lubricant.
"Ready, babygirl?" You exhale a nervous breath and nod for confirmation. "Okay, we're gonna start real slow."
Toji began to push the tip in, your folds being spread open to accommodate the foreign object intruding into your tight hole. You close your eyes and hold your breath, the pain worsening by the second. You take one breath, and Toji pushes further. With another breath, he goes further. Another-
A giant gasp takes over you as the tip of Toji's cock enters you. And Toji takes his time pushing himself further into you, using every fiber of his being not to rut into your tight walls off the jump.
"Haaah, hmmm, oh fuck," That's easier said than done with you gripping onto him like your life depended on it. Once he's pushed his whole cock into you, your words come out as a babbling mess, gripping his arms for support. He looks down at your disarranged self, chuckling at such a wonderful sight. "You look really fuckin' sexy layin' under me, baby."
"God...Toji," Tears stream down your cheeks, wincing at the pain down south. "'S too muuu-ch, too big for—Hnnngh!!" A sudden thrust of the hips has you biting down on your bottom lip.
"C'mon now, I thought I told you about that. I already let it slide once or twice." Toji places your legs on his shoulders and leans close to you, his body weight adding onto yours as the base of his cock grinds into your sex. "What's my new name, mama?"
"Ah!! I'm sorry, Daddy." The title comes through sobs.
Toji grins from ear to ear, wiping your tears with his calloused fingers. "Good girl," he kisses your forehead as you adjust to his girthy length. "So fuckin' pretty fr' Daddy." He takes your lips with his soft ones before moving his hips in a slow yet rough rhythm.
The mating press has your body submit to him, taking in his cock as it sinks deep into your swollen core. And it only gets worse when his pace gets faster, hitting your sweet spots accurately. At this rate, you're bound to cum earlier than necessary.
Then you feel his tip abruptly touch your cervix, and the wail you let out is picked up by Toji's ears. "Oh? Think I found what I was lookin' for." His hips grind deep in you, his tip abusing your poor cervix to the point you speak in tongues. "Feelin' good, princess?"
"Fuck, Daddyyyy, please, I'm-Ahaaah, Ohhh!" His irrational pace has your brain turning to mush, his cock bullying your insides. The sound of his balls slapping against your squelching folds has you squeezing him harder. "I'm gonna cu-cumm!!"
Toji hisses into your ear, the tone of his voice dominating your senses. "Oooooh, don't grip on me like that, sweetie. Gonna end up — Mmmph! Shit, shit, shit, shit...Gonna give you a baby."
You reach to cup his face through watery eyes glazed in a haze. "Please, Daddy, I want it," You know you're talking nonsense, but why care when you're feeling this fucking good. "Inside, I want it, inside!"
"Heh, be careful with what you wish for, mama." He kisses you again as his hips become erratic, and he moves a hand to your clit and pinches it, whining into your mouth when you're cunt clutches onto him one final time.
You cum around his cock and push your head back on the pillows, your gushy walls spasming around his length, prompting Toji to cum inside you after a few more thrusts. You two moan into each other's mouths, riding each other's high until your bodies calm down.
The two of you pant heavily once the kiss is broken apart, and his deep emerald orbs take in your dazed expression. He smiles when he notices drool on the side of your mouth, using a thumb to wipe it off for you.
"My sweet darlin'," Toji kisses your cheek and sighs deeply into your embrace. "You're too good fr' me, baby."
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"Did I say that I want your babies?"
You're resting with Toji, your head relaxed on his chest as you sit between his legs. The television in the bedroom plays an episode of a sitcom, anything for you two to look at and enjoy a moment of peace together.
He snickers at your question, his chest rising and falling as you lay on him feels nice. "Yeah, you kinda did."
"Wow, that sex must've screwed something up in my head."
"Yeah, my dick had you wanting to risk it all." He snorts when you playfully hit his arm. "Don't worry, we can find some plan b in the morning."
Turning to face Toji, still watching TV, you furrow your brows. "We? What about work?"
"I have tomorrow off. It's your last day, and I don't feel like going back to work, or else I'll be sour all fuckin day. Much rather spend it with you than with some morons."
You look at Toji for a little longer before you smile and kiss his cheek, catching the older man off guard as you nestle into his warm body. "Thank you, Toji. For everything."
The thanks carry a deeper meaning. Not a single ounce of doubt clouds your mind now that you've gotten the closure you wanted. Thinking about how your life brought you to this moment, you're happy with your decision to pursue this relationship and more. And it's thanks to this man for making it possible.
Toji still stares at you before he scoffs and kisses your temple.
"No problem, kiddo."
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑭𝒊𝒄𝒔#edit: if you ever read any typos/grammar errors no you didn't bc i totally didn't finish this while doing an all-nighter 🙃#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk thirsts#jjk imagines#jjk fanfic#jujutsu toji#toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#toji smut#toji x reader#toji x female reader#toji x y/n#toji fanfic#dilf toji#smut#fanfic#toji fanart#anime smut
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The problem with modern dating culture is that it’s too casual for too long. We play games with each other, take what marital benefits we can from each other without the commitment. There’s no intent behind it. If there’s any intent at all, it’s just to have fun and use one another, and maybe at some point you’ll accidentally fall into something more serious.
The problem with purity courtship culture is that it’s too serious too quickly. The couple can never truly get to know each other. They have zero time to honestly look into each other’s minds and hearts and assess if they have the same goals and values. You cannot have those very honest and serious conversations you need to have before marriage.
I think the answer is to date with the principles of courtship. You have an end goal. You keep in mind this is a real person who doesn’t exist merely for your own amusement. You keep family and friends involved insofar as they can help you read situations more clearly and help you discern if this person really is a good match for you. You create reasonable boundaries to keep yourself on the correct trajectory as you see fit. But you do, in fact, date. You take those dates to go do something fun, alone, and use the time wisely to get to know each other. To build a bond of sorts. A bond of close friendship. To learn that you can trust and rely on one another. To acknowledge your similarities and differences.
I think this is the healthy way.
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There'll be a shit ton of miscommunication when Arthur returns, purely based on the different time periods.
For exanple:
Arthur being a pissy prat
Merlin flips him off
Arthur, scsndalised: You will do no such thing!
Merlin now confused: what?
Merlin then realises that the meaning of the middle finger has changed over time, and that Arthur believes that Merlin is threatening to fuck him, when Merlin is in fact saying 'go fuck yourself'.
Merlin: wait hold on-
Arthur then ignores him: I won't join your bed until at least a month of courtship, I may not be king anymore but I was raised a gentleman.
Merlin now shocked and surprised at what Arthur is saying: o-okay
+ accidental boyfriend acquired
#This is pure and utter shit#I will continue to post said shit because it's funny#Arthur doesnt actually wajt the full month#Merlins just surprised that it happened like that#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#bbc merthur#merthur#merlin x arthur#The whole middle fonger debacle
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how ctechno tries to court cdream? Like what methods he uses?
well, he tries a lot of things from a wide variety of cultures because, again, he's not entirely sure what culture dream is from.
first, he tries other nether customs because he may not know what dream is, but he's pretty sure dream grew up with sapnap who was raised by bad... or something.
the thing is, though, techno is trying to show that he's very serious about respecting the merging of their two cultures. so, he decides to add some piglin flair to everything. how does he do that? by making it all a competition. because competitiveness is a love language, especially in piglin culture where by engaging in competition, you're showing that you're on equal footing and will make a good match.
this means that with everything techno tries, dream just assumes it's a part of their rivalry.
"hey dream. I bet I can loot this fortress before you." "okay so we both walk into a fortess, get ourselves withered, and see who cracks first and drinks milk." "we both have to raise and defend these turtle eggs. whoever's turtles are healthiest, wins."
that... doesn't work. dream is really into it, of course, and takes all the opportunities he can get to try and rack up his wins against techno, but he doesn't show signs of taking the courting to the next step.
so, techno is kinda in this limbo where he's engaged to the guy, but he can't seem to figure out what he needs to do to get the guy to actually marry him.
phil is... equally baffled. listen. listen. phil is married to the goddess of death. that is... not a normal relationship, so he doesn't really have a good basis for giving relationship advice. he just thinks dream is testing techno, seeing if he's really the best suited partner, but they can't figure out what dream wants techno to do.
it doesn't help that dream is also oblivious to the more obvious human customs. the dates techno takes them on? dream thinks it's another level of their rivalry. baking date? okay, so they're seeing who can bake the best cake. going for a nice evening stroll around the server? dream will be sure to kill more mobs than techno.
it just... doesn't occur to dream that techno's essentially flirting with him. dream's mind is so jumbled with everything happening on the server that he never even stops to consider it.
but, well, his rivalry with techno is the one thing that hasn't changed during all of this, so he'll keep it for as long as he's able to.
#bonus: techno makes dream a ring? obviously dream needs to make him an even better ring with even harder to get materials#when techno gets the ring from dream he almost cries showing it to phil cause making jewelry for each other#is such a big part of piglin culture and dream did it perfectly#c!rivals duo#rivalsblr#dreblr#accidental courtship au#stella answers#anon
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When Superman gave him the kryptonite, Bruce felt touched that Kal-El would trust him, a human, that much. He knew that Superman was wary of humans when he first crash-landed on Earth a year ago, receiving a less than warm welcome from the military. If it hadn't been for the Justice League's intervention, Superman would have been locked up under Amanda Waller's watch.
It took months of fighting side by side on the battlefield before Superman accepted Batman's invitation to join the Justice League. As a show of mutual trust, Bruce provided Superman with plans to neutralize him in case he went rogue, and Superman entrusted any kryptonite he found to Batman for safekeeping.
They worked well together, and Superman had Batman's back in every fight against supervillains. While they had their ups and downs like any relationship, their conflicts never lasted long. That's why Bruce was puzzled when Superman started acting coldly towards him all of a sudden.
Bruce may not be the most emotionally aware being, but he could tell when someone was deliberately avoiding him. The rest of the Justice League noticed the tension and tried to mediate the situation. It was then that Superman suddenly accused him of cheating.
“You slept with that redheaded woman!” he yelled. Bruce tried hard to recall which woman Superman was talking about. Had he accidentally slept with Superman's lover? Then Superman continued, “I was patient, waiting for you to be ready to consummate our marriage, but you broke our sacred marriage contract! Clearly, you don't love me anymore!”
Bruce felt like he had entered the twilight zone. His mind spiraled as he frantically tried to remember when he had gotten married to the Kryptonian. It turns out that Superman fighting off the supervillains trying to get to him was part of a courtship ritual on Krypton. When Batman had invited Superman into the Justice League, Superman had taken it as a marriage proposal to join his inner circle, and they had exchanged weapons to seal the deal. It seems that Kryptonians had long, and pretty bloody, courtship rituals revolving around proving their strength to their partner and exchanging rare objects. Verbal declarations were unnecessary.
Bruce had been married to Superman for months, and he didn't even know it.
#au#accidentally married#krypton as a spartan society#dc headcanon#dc fanfic#drabble#text post#dc#superbat#superman x batman#batman x superman#superman/batman#batman/superman#superman#batman#clark kent#bruce wayne
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i’m also taking the opportunity to gush about one of my favorite birds: the cedar waxwing! i think they’re so lovely.
they’re found all over north & central america and aren’t very rare. but i think they’re very interesting! they eat almost nothing but fruit. big groups of them will find a fruit tree, eat everything they can, and then move on.
one of the things i think is really cute is that sometimes, they’ll all line up on a branch. one of them will pick a berry and then pass it down the line so that every bird gets to eat.
i also think their courtship is funny and cute. two birds will take a small item like a flower petal or a bug and pass it back and forth. they also accidentally get drunk sometimes by eating fruit that’s gone bad and started to ferment.
i think they are very cute and handsome birds.
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Thinking about the family arrangements of the "Howl's Moving Castle" film, specifically the question of where Markl (Howl's young apprentice) (pretty different from the Michael of the books) comes from... I do like the idea that Howl essentially took in an orphaned child whom he found on the street or something, because I like seeing adopted families. They're cool. It's cute.
Or maybe there was some complicated situation (curses, spells, adventures, oh my) with Markl's parents? Who can't care for him or can't be trusted to care for him, but they're still out there? If you want to get into the "messy bio family situation" side of adoption issues.
While thinking about this, my brain took a leap to the side and asked, "Even if I really don't like a 'Howl and Markl are biological family' angle on this, is there a way to pull that off?" In the books, Howl performs several extended courtships of beautiful women, so I suppose that you could just go with him having accidentally had a child with one of his exes or something. Easy enough. I still prefer the adoption of an orphan route.
And then I thought, "WAIT. If Howl has a reputation for seducing women, eating hearts, and then running off, then it would be really easy for some young girl with an unwanted pregnancy to CLAIM to her unhappy parents that the wandering Wizard Howl fathered her child." So then Howl could get saddled with a small child dumped on his doorstep and told to take responsibility as a father, even though he's never met this woman in his life!
And I thought that sounded like a really funny balance between the ambiguous situation of the movie and the style of humor of the books. That sounds like a Wynne-Jonesian situation to me! Sophie has to wrestle with her admiration that Howl selflessly took in this poor, unwanted child (Markl) and is raising him as best as he's able (for a given value of "best"), and also wrestle with her annoyance that Howl's reputation as a flirt is such a fucking mess that he has a "bastard" child who isn't even actually his bio kid.
Even funnier bonus interpretations / directions for this, in my opinion: (1) Howl is a trans man and is physically incapable of knocking anyone up without magic being involved. (Sophie and Howl have a kid in the books named Morgan.) The girl making the claim did not know this and Howl did not enlighten anyone.
(2) If it happened once (a girl successfully claiming that Howl is the father of her unwanted child despite never having met him), then it can happen again! Sophie knows Howl didn't cheat on her, but she's still not impressed by this mess. (Maybe this is where Morgan comes from in this AU.)
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