#SO MUCH MORE YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE WORLD AND EXTRA :((((((((((((((( also it is absolutely meant to parallel talia and i will fight ppl on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pies-writes-and-more · 3 years

Text

ex-boyfriends are a pain

Warnings: ex boyfriend being a dick, referred to as Asshole, some swearing

Pairings: Sugawara Kōshi, Ushijima Wakatoshi, & Bokuto Kōtarō all with a Fem!Reader

A/N: this was originally written for @thisnoodlewritesao3 because ex-boyfriends can suck shit but how much do you wanna bet that the Haikyuu boys would have your back no matter what? Kinda threw this together so I hope you guys enjoy!

haikyuu masterlist

Sugawara knew you could fight like the rest of them. Hell, it was the first time you fought with Tanaka that made him go wow okay I need to hang out with Y/N more.

You could be so feisty when you wanted, so sweet other times. It all depended on your mood. So when he saw your ex-boyfriend walking your way, Sugawara watched your body language first. Did you seem like you wanted to deal with this on your own? Or did you want some help? He never wanted you to feel like he wouldn’t let you fight your own battles, though this was a little harder knowing that this Asshole had hurt you for so long.

Sugawara wanted nothing more than to make the guy hurt like he had hurt you... but no, he restrained himself for a moment, Daichi also watching as if ready to back up his best friend if he got himself into a scuffle.

Maybe if Asshole hadn’t caught you off guard and in the middle of your thoughts, you would’ve been fine, but instead he had grabbed you and dragged you off to some secluded hallway.

“The hell are you doing?” You glared at him, trying to wiggle your arm from him. Your eyes frantically searching for anyone or anything to help get you out of this situation as he pulled you away.

“We need to talk,” Asshole huffed, standing a little too close for comfort. “You’ve been ignoring my calls and my texts and now what? You’ve blocked me?”

Your insides turned uncomfortably, shifting your weight as you tried to find a way to at least step away from him a bit, “We’re not together anymore, there’s nothing that needs to be said-”

“Y/N! Daichi’s looking for you!” Sugawara’s voice was a welcome surprise. Your eyes shot over to where he was standing, his hands on his hips and a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He knew. You could tell he knew how uneasy you were just because his eyes met yours and his head tilted slightly as if to ask want me to kill him?

“She’s busy,” Asshole grumbled, not even bothering to look up from your eyes at him.

Sugawara didn’t move. For a moment he just stood there with his fake smile on before walking closer and pushing the guy away from you gently, “Hey! You look real familiar,” Sugawara beamed up at him, holding his chin as if in thought. “Have we met before?”

“No?” Asshole just glared at him and then his glare turned to you, “Who the fuck is this? Your new boyfriend?”

“Aha! Boyfriend! You kinda look like that crazy EX-boyfriend that Y/N used to have. Now that was one weird dude. Imagine leaving your girlfriend at some restaurant cause you got caught up with your friends and forgot about your anniversary,” Sugawara’s forced a laugh, flopping his arm around your shoulders playfully. “Thank god you got rid of that guy right?”

Even you had to question whether or not Sugawara was being funny or serious. He definitely knew this guy was that ex-boyfriend... didn’t he?

Asshole just huffed, standing up straighter and puffing out his chest slightly just to exaggerate that he was, in fact, taller than Suga.

“It’s funny. It was after that breakup that the Karasuno High School Volleyball team vowed to never let Y/N get hurt ever again.” Suga’s eyes drifted over to where Asahi was just slightly in view, standing tall as ever.

It would only work since Asshole had no clue who Asahi was, and couldn’t see that the muscle-y third year was almost in a panic attack over the upcoming game. All Asshole saw when he followed Sugawara’s gaze was the scary tall third year that everyone seemed to gossip about at every game. Your ex turned back to Suga, as if thinking that would be any better.

From the half of Suga’s face that you could see, it was really not something you’d want to be in front of. Suga could get really scary if he wanted and you imagined that right now, Asshole was experiencing just that.

Your ex grumbled something about “not being worth it” and turned on his heel, rushing away from you two.

You felt a breath leave your chest almost immediately, your heart pounding against your ribcage, “God Suga, thank you so much,” you smiled weakly up at him, quickly wrapping your arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze.

“Anytime love,” he smiled, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head. “You know, I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I’d say you upgraded big time,” he smirked, tapping your nose lovingly.

You laughed and smiled up at him, touching his cheek gently and stroking your thumb along his skin as you admired his expression, “Absolutely. 100% upgrade. Would never even dream of going back.”

“Good,” Suga grinned, holding your hand against his face for just a moment longer, “cause I’m not letting you leave me that easily.”

Ushijima remembered your ex boyfriend, but not in any physical way. He couldn’t remember what the guy looked like - how tall he was, or what colour his hair was. But what he did remember is how you looked after every argument you had with the guy.

More often than not, you’d come over to Ushijima’s place or Tendō’s after yet another argument, tears streaking down your face and your whole body just crumbling into one of their hugs.

Ushijima had hated seeing you like that and he would hold you for as long as you wanted.

It was after one really bad fight with that guy that Ushijima told himself that he would confess to you eventually. He knew you deserved all the love in the world, and the only way to guarantee you’d be getting it is if he took it into his own hands.

You were far too good for him, but he knew he loved you enough to try.

Maybe he should’ve gone back and looked into what this guy looked like. That probably would’ve helped him in this situation.

“-you think I don’t know that you were trying to steal my girl this whole time?” a guy was yelling, up in Ushijima’s face (as much as you can be in a guy’s face who’s a few inches taller than you). “I should’ve known you two would get together after the way she was constantly talking about you.”

Maybe it should’ve clicked in Ushijima’s head that the guy who was angrily attacking him in the almost empty gym was your ex-boyfriend, but instead, Ushijima kept glancing around him to see if there was someone else that the guy was yelling at.

“What the hell are you looking for? She’s not gonna come save you or anything. I thought you were supposed to be some big man - ace of the volleyball team. What are you scared or something?” your ex cackled, hands on his hips all proud-like.

Ushijima finally caught on that this guy was talking to him, a frown on his face, “I’m sorry but do I know you?”

It hadn’t meant to be a question with any sort of malice to it, but the guy seemed so dejected hearing it. Here he had come all this way, built up all this courage to confront Ushijima Wakatoshi for stealing his girlfriend... and the guy didn’t even know who he was.

“I’m Y/N’s ex boyfriend,” the guy glared up at him, getting angrier.

“Oh.” Ushijima nodded to himself slightly, now remembering the guy’s face and starting to walk past him.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

“What’s there to talk about?” Ushijima asked, still walking ahead. “Maybe if you hadn’t been such a self-absorbed egotistical idiot you would still have her. But you don’t. Someone was bound to come and show her what she actually deserves.”

You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but had just been about to come into the gym to make sure Ushijima was ready to walk home. Your fingers trembled a little hearing your ex’s voice and just how angry he sounded. You were annoyed, you were angry. you wanted to go in there and punch the guy in the face. How dare he act like you were some item to be stolen - you chose Ushijima. You loved Ushijima. There wasn’t anything to steal - you were his and he was yours and there was nothing about your ex in it at all.

But you couldn’t deny that you loved hearing Ushijima’s flat and blunt tone cut through all of your ex’s defenses. He stood there a stuttering mess, coming up with excuses after excuses as to why he hadn’t been a better boyfriend (news flash man, you were just an ass), even while Ushijima started to exit the gym.

“Oh. Y/N. You’re here,” Ushijima’s stoic face broke into a smile as he found you, immediately leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead and taking your hand.

“Have an unexpected visitor?” You point out, glancing into the gym to see your ex getting all riled up some more.

“Nothing worth our time. Come on, let me walk you home,” he said, taking your bag from you like he always did and leading you home.

You knew Ushijijma could’ve cut your ex down to pieces if he needed to, the ace of Shiratorizawa could be very scary when he was angry. But evidently, your ex didn’t seem to be worth the time and the thought of that made you very happy. Ushijima was right after all, that Asshole was not worth either of your free times and he certainly wasn’t worth getting into a fight with.

Still, Ushijima seemed to watch you carefully to make sure you weren’t upset that your ex had come by. He bought you extra snacks at the shop the two of you stopped at on your way home and listened intently to all the things you wanted to talk about while the two of you ventured onwards.

“Thank you, Ushijima,” you smiled at him as you got to your door.

He nodded, “I like walking you home, no thanks needed.”

“No, thank you for... saying what you did to that Asshole back at the gym,” you weren’t really sure what you were thanking him for, but just felt like it needed thanking.

The boy just smiled at you and pressed a kiss to your cheek as he handed you your bag, “You are worth 10 of him, Y/N. I won’t waste my chance with you like he did.”

You beamed hearing this, wrapping him into a hug before disappearing into your house and waving to him from the window.

Later Tendō would point out that he would’ve kicked held the guy up while Ushijima beat the shit out of him, if Ushijima ever wanted that but the ace just shrugged, “The greatest defeat I can do to him is make Y/N happier than he ever could. And I plan on doing that every day for the rest of my life.”

Bokuto loathed your ex boyfriend. He always proclaimed that if he so ever laid eyes on him, he would spike a volleyball into the guy’s face.

Now was his opportunity.

You had been working with the managers of the volleyball team to help set everything up before one of the tournament games, just filling up water bottles and bringing them to the court. You weren’t sure how or why your ex had followed you onto the court but he did.

“Y/N,” he called you from behind you, grabbing onto your wrist to keep you from rushing off.

Your eyes widened as you realized who it was, frowning and pulling your arm away from him almost immediately, “What the hell are you doing here?” You asked with a glare.

“We need to talk - I don’t like this new guy you’re dating. He’s an idiot.” Asshole huffed, shooting a thumb in the direction of Bokuto who was currently getting ready to practice spiking.

“Who I date is none of your business. You should get out of here before he realizes you’re here-” you tried to warn him. Really you did.

There was always a deafening sound whenever one of Bokuto’s blocks hit the floor - the kind that sent shivers down your spine. But hearing it land so close to you, right behind where your ex was standing, made you actually jump, your eyes watching as the ball bounced off and rolled further away down the gym. You and your ex both froze, staring as you watched the ball disappear, a ringing left in the air from the powerful spike.

Both of you turned to see who had almost attacked Asshole, finding Bokuto standing there with his arms crossed against his chest. Even Akaashi was glaring at your ex, chin tilted up in a defiant sort of way.

“Next one,” Bokuto pointed straight at your ex, a firm look in his eyes, “I aim for that ugly mug of yours.”

You could feel your ex tense up, fists balling up angrily at his sides. He opened his mouth to say something, but Akaashi quickly cut him off, “You should leave. Our ace doesn’t get angry often, but when he does, he doesn’t hold back on spiking power. Besides, if you want to talk to our Y/N when she doesn’t want to talk to you, you’ll have to go through all of us.” He motioned to the rest of the team, all of whom were glaring in Asshole’s direction.

You couldn’t help but smile. How lucky were you to have found a family like this - one who were so willing to stop their practice before a game just to make sure you were comfortable.

Asshole soon stormed off and you sent a smirk over to Bokuto who just sent you a grin, “Did you see that crazy spike?” He asked excitedly as you came over to press a kiss to his cheek.

“I did. If that had hit me, I would’ve died,” you teased, poking his chest.

“I would never hit you! I am an expert with aiming!”

“Didn’t you hit her like last week with a stray receive, Bokuto?”

“AKAASHI NOT NOW!”

You laughed, watching as Bokuto frantically waved his arms to his best friend, insisting that that was an accident and he really was very good at aiming.

“Thanks for getting him out of here,” you smiled up at your boyfriend, giving him a tight squeeze before glancing at the ref who was setting up for the game. “I should head up to the stands. You better get all fired up for me okay?”

“Anything for you, babe. I figured actually hitting him would’ve just made him angrier.” He laughed, pecking your lips. “Cheer extra loud for me!” He called after you, jumping up and down to warm up his calves.

“You ready, Bokuto?” Akaashi asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bokuto nodded, grinning to himself as he thought about how perfect that spike was, “I’m all fired up thanks to the prettiest girl in the world. Let’s do this!”

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join!)

@al0ehas @aurumk @neko-chii1 @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo @darkvadeeer @haikyuutothetop @livy384 @babyshoyo @jesssobs @b-bakana

#sugawara x reader #ushijima x reader #bokuto x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #sugawara koushi #ushijima fluff #bokuto kotaro x reader #pies writes

753 notes · View notes

formulawonu · 3 years

Note

Hi! I have a request for you if you can, can a request based on “champagne problems” by taylor swift where either daniel, lando, lewis or carlos are dating the reader and think it’s time to propose, and they do it in front of their families or the whole grid but the reader says no, and they broke up, and years later they run into each other again and talk. you can choose the ending between fluff or keep it angst.

champagne problems / lewis hamilton

(gif is not mine! credits to the owner)

warnings: angsty :'(

a/n: i fell in love with this request, thank you so much for it. i got immensely sad writing the last few lines of this :/ taylor swift knows what she is doing. i hope my writing did justice to this beautifully sad song <//3 tried doing smth different and wrote in third person/more of lewis' pov. big cheers to lewis getting 100 wins — what an incredible feat!!! hope you guys enjoy this one :D

He thinks he sees her from across the room but an extra glance tells him it’s not her. She wouldn’t show up here. That isn’t her — something he’s had to learn ever since she left his life two years ago. He is here with someone new and she reminds him of the stars that never fail to show up in the night sky every night. She is constant and he doesn’t need to second guess with her. She understands who he is and knows what he thinks. He is genuinely happy. But she is not her.

“I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” He says, looking up at the love of his life from where he is kneeling. They are surrounded by his family and their friends. The most important people in their lives that have become an extension of who they are and know how perfect the two of them are for each other. He planned it all out — the intimate dinner full of all the things she loved. Her favorite food, her favorite people. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect. Everyone in this room knew it was only a matter of time until they both took the next step forward in the relationship. In this moment, however, he only sees her. That is how it is whenever she is around. It feels like tunnel vision: all roads lead simply to her.

He has always believed that love was unique to different people. He is, no doubt, in love with his current girlfriend and he is so sure of that. She is the calm before and after every storm. He also knows that despite this, a piece of him and the love he is capable of giving will always remain with Y/N. He will never forget how it felt to love her, just as he knows she won’t ever forget loving him.

Something is wrong. All he sees is her and yet she looks terrified. Tears are forming in her eyes and there is an emotion that he can’t quite place yet. It is an emotion he doesn’t see often. “Y/N?” He whispers, trying to read her. At this moment, he doesn’t care that everyone is standing around the both of them. He just wants to make sure she is okay. She looks away from him and looks around the room. He squeezes her hand, trying to get her to just focus on him. He is trying to reassure her that everything is okay. She looks back at him then at the open small box in his other hand. She starts shaking her head, the tears now falling from her eyes. Everything seems to be going wrong.

“I love you, Lewis.” His girlfriend whispers as he sways her back and forth on the makeshift dance floor. It is his friend’s wedding. “I love you more.” He is satisfied with the way his life has turned out. It was difficult the first few months she had left his life and he honestly thought life wouldn’t be okay again. Everything reminded him of her. There were pieces of her in his apartment and pieces of her everywhere he went. Time passed by so slowly as if it wanted him to sink in the emptiness that came when he lost her. But he met her — she made everything bright again and allowed him to see colors in the world that turned grey. She was patient with him. She took the time to understand him and let him find himself again. He is happy. He is in love.

“I- I can’t.” She whispers, still shaking her head. The tears won’t stop falling from her eyes. He understands the emotion in her eyes now. She is overwhelmed. It is regret. He can feel tears building up in his own. Everything begins to spin around the two of them. “Lewis, I… I can’t.” He tries to remain holding her hand, but she forces hers out of his hold. He looks up at her, speechless. There are so many things he wants to tell her. He wants to tell her to forget about everyone around the two of them. He wants to tell her it doesn’t matter how it happens or that they don’t need to get married right away. He would be happy being engaged forever if it meant she would be by his side. He wants to tell her that they could ditch the party and just lock themselves up in their apartment if that was what she wanted. But he doesn’t. He can’t because she is long gone now. She has run outside of the room and has left him in the center of everyone’s gaze. He cannot move. He is stuck on one knee, with his mother’s ring in his hand. Everything feels like it’s in slow motion. The first thing he does is close the box and drop it in his suit pocket. He slowly stands up, refusing to look at anyone else. He doesn’t know how to react or how to be. Everything is wrong.

While he is leading his girlfriend back to their table, something catches his attention in the corner of his eye. He has to blink a couple of times, trying to register that it is actually her. There, standing by the bar, is the girl who had left him two years ago. She is standing on her own, her body language still very familiar to him. She does not want to be seen and is trying to simply be a faceless stranger in the crowd. She would not be here if she didn’t need to, but his friends are her friends too and the bride is a good friend of hers. “That’s her, isn’t it?” His girlfriend says, following his gaze. “She’s beautiful.” He flashes a smile at her, nodding. “Yeah. I didn’t think she was going to be here, actually. None of us have actually seen her since it happened.” “Do you want to say hi to her?” He fully focuses on his girlfriend now, trying to understand if she is challenging him or simply curious. All he sees is genuine questioning. “I think you should speak to her, Lewis.” He is unsure if that is the right decision. He does not know what he wants to say to her anyway. “Go. It will make you feel better, even if you don’t know what to say.” She gently nudges him towards her and he is left reluctantly walking towards the woman he has not spoken to since she left him kneeling.

“Hi.” Words escape the both of them, the casualness of a greeting seeming so unfitting for the two. “Hi.” She replies. “How ironic that we’re seeing each other here.” He offers, trying to break the ice. He is not used to this, the awkwardness enveloping the two of them when once in the past he felt he could talk about absolutely anything with her. She visibly draws back at the reminder of the last time they had seen each other too. “Why are you here, Lewis?” She asks with a smile on her face. She was never the type to beat around the bush, that much he knew. She always went straight to the point, never afraid to hear things she might not want to. Like ripping off a bandaid, she once said. “I honestly don’t know why either.” There was no point in lying to her. He doesn’t know what to say, neither does she, and yet it felt right that he could speak frankly to her about the events of the past. “You look happy,” She starts, looking genuinely pleased for him. “You deserve to be happy.” Two emotions bubble up inside of him, one he has not felt in ages. Frustration and defeat. It is all coming back to him.

“We could’ve been happy too.”

She sighs, refusing to meet his eyes. She is still surveying the room, taking in everyone celebrating the union of two lovers. He did not like that about her; she always knew how to hide her emotions. Better put, he did not like how he could not read her anymore. “I don’t want to fight you, Lewis. I didn’t come here to do that.” She picks up her glass of champagne that she has left on the counter of the bar, sipping at it. “Dom Pérignon.” She adds. The champagne she is drinking is her favorite and it is the same one that everyone was drinking the night it happened. Or should’ve happened. A wry smile forms on his face. “I know you don’t owe me an explanation nor should you have ever felt you owed me a marriage, but I just wish you talked to me about it. That was our thing. We always talked about it.” She finally meets his eyes, studying him.

“I just didn’t have anything to say.”

“How could you have nothing to say?”

“I did not know what to say.”

“Then you should’ve said that.”

“I did not have a reason, Lewis. Is that what you want to hear? When you got down on one knee, a thousand thoughts were in my head and none of them told me to say yes. I’m so sorry and you know I loved you immensely—I still do—but I could not for the life of me come up with a reason to know for sure I wanted to say yes.” Just like ripping off a bandaid.

He does not know what to say and he wants to laugh at how she is still able to leave him speechless after all this time. “Well, I’m sorry you felt that way.” That is all he is able to say in reply. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say yes.” She finally meets his eyes, the familiar gaze of the woman he once swore he would give everything up for. “My mom wants a sorry too.” He finally says after a while, trying to lighten up the mood. “I miss her.” She replies, a small smile forming on her face. His mom absolutely loved her and held a special place in her heart for her. She was just as crestfallen as he was when she saw what had taken place two years ago. “She misses you too. Everyone kind of misses you too. I don’t understand why you had to disappear.” She shakes her head. “It wasn’t me, Lewis. All of this,” She says, gesturing around the grand ballroom. “Is not me.” “Then why are you here?” He doesn’t mean it as an insult, he just wants to know. She frowns at him. “Because Joe and Louise are my good friends, Lew. I wasn’t planning to stay long, though. I just promised Louise I was going to come by and I keep my promises.” He knows she does. He shakes his head at her. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s nice to see you again, honestly. Nice to know you’re still alive.” “I know you didn’t. But I just don’t know who I am when I’m here. It’s all so….” She pauses, trying to think of the right word. “Intense? Overwhelming? Heavy? I don’t know. It just makes you feel so small.” He nods but he still can’t grasp that she had felt this way all this time. Maybe he didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. “Don’t blame yourself, Lewis. I can see you doing that now. It was just me.” There is amusement in her eyes and he can’t understand how she is so candid about all of this. “I just don’t understand how I feel like I didn’t- don’t know who you are. I don’t know where it all went wrong.”

She studies him, noting how the creases in his forehead have formed. Something he always does when he is deep in thought. “Lewis, you knew me better than anyone else in this world and I don’t want you to ever feel like you didn’t. What we shared was good, right? It was brilliant.” She offers him a small smile, a consolation for all that has gone on between them. “I will always love you. I don’t think I need to tell you that. You will always be special to me. But what was screaming at me when you got down on one knee was that whatever was happening… It wasn’t right. And I wouldn’t forgive myself if I ever let you go into something so wholeheartedly with me in it half-heartedly. That wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve someone who would jump into darkness headfirst with you. I hope she is that for you.” She glances around the room again, probably noticing the eyes of spectators that have now noticed the both of you together again. She is beginning to get conscious. The emotions that were beginning to reveal themselves through her eyes are disappearing once again. She is withdrawing. He nods, trying to internalize everything she has just said.

“I’m sorry I lost you. I know you don't want me to apologize, but I’m sorry we ended like that. There are times I wish you were still in my life and there are times I still think about what it would be like if it was us in this position.” His words hang in the air, the both of them looking around the room. “But I’m doing okay. She’s great - I think you two would get along, actually. I honestly hope you’re doing okay. It sucks that I don’t know what you’re doing. I hope you know that you’re still always welcome to just hang out or whatever. Have a chat to update me on your life, Y/N. Don’t be a stranger.” She nods, smiling at him. She drinks the rest of her champagne before setting the glass back on the bar counter. “That is great to hear, Lewis. I still keep up with your races, you know? A hundred wins, you’ve finally done it. No matter what, I am always going to be proud.” She places a hand on his shoulder, a fleeting squeeze on it, then she drops it. “I’ll try not to be one. But either way, just know I’ll always be rooting for you.” She straightens out her dress then tucks her hair behind her ear. “I’ve gotta go.” She says, looking up at him. He tries to remember how she looks in this moment because he knows he doesn’t know the next time their paths will ever cross again. She is in a floor-length dress and her hair falls in waves just by her shoulders. Her eyes alight with assuredness and confidence, something that he now realizes he barely saw back then. She is happy too. That is all that matters. He nods, giving her a small smile. “Goodbye, Y/N.” She smiles back at him too. “Goodbye, Lewis.” She begins to walk away, not once looking back. Just like how it was two years ago.

“Hey, Y/N.” He calls out to her. She is not far enough for him to draw attention. She turns around, her head tiled to the side. “We almost had it all, didn’t we?” She chuckles and he can feel the sadness in it. She nods, still chuckling. “We really did. Cheers.”

163 notes · View notes

denkamis · 3 years

Text

hc’s about falling in love with your childhood best friend.

masterlist.

warnings: swearing ig?? it’s fluffy, mainly. i tried to make it fairly gender neutral in terms of the reader.

notes: hi uh these were supposed to be for the dekusquad but they ended up being SO much longer than i originally intended so i cut down on the characters ;-; i struggled with bakugou’s but his ended up being the longest??? idk man, hope you guys like it <3 these are seriously just drabbles in disguise

izuku midoriya

you met at an author meetup at the local bookstore. the book was a biography about all might, ofc you were bound to meet

you were in front of him in line and he shyly complimented you on the all might t-shirt you had worn

you two basically spent the entire time talking to each other about your favourite pro heroes as you waited in line

by the time you got to the front, you were so engrossed in your own conversations that both inko and your mom figured it would just be better to take you two home for a playdate instead

since you were friends with midoriya, that meant bakugou was also in your little circle

you stood up to him a couple times and always checked up on midoriya after kacchan’s tiny tantrums

midoriya appreciated that, and you two were practically inseparable

bakugou always accused you two of teaming up against him

you would simply link arms with midoriya, tilt your chin up high and say that you were a full package deal. two peas in a pod. two halves of a whole, always

midoriya’s face seemed to be permanently red that entire day

you two were pretty dedicated in school, with you wanting to persue your top picks for high school. that meant that there were lots of study dates between you two

during those study dates, midoriya couldn’t help if his gaze lingered on you just a bit more than his notes about quirk laws

he realized he was in love with you when you had stayed after school to look for the notebook kacchan had burnt

“you don’t have to do this, y/n. i can find it on my own… i don’t want to make to make you stay any longer.”

“don’t say that, izuku. i don’t mind. besides, we always stick together and we will even after you get into ua!”

“a- after i get in?” he spoke in a disbelief. everyone had doubted him, everyone had told him that he needed a quirk in order to get in but not you

you stayed. you supported him. you believed in him.

he grabbed your hand on instinct, startling you. “i- i-” he began stuttering, eyes darting about as the feelings he hadn’t realized resurfaced

“thank you.”

you gave him a gentle smile, chest feeling light as your hand encased in midoriya’s squeezed his own comfortingly

“full package deal, remember?”

he nodded, his smile jittery and shy. you giggled, blush dancing on your cheeks as you went on your next rant about how kamui woods could totally beat mount lady in a fight

midoriya gripped the straps of his backpack, chest feeling light and his head feeling dizzy with all the new thoughts of you flooding his mind

oh yeah, he was definitely in love with you

shouto todoroki

you were his neighbour

well, more accurately, your grandparents were his neighbours and you visited often

your grandparents made you get the mail in the mornings and sometimes you would see him outside in the front yard with his mother. you would wave to him, and he would give a timid wave back after some encouragement from his mother

you would play outside with your grandfather, flying your tiny kite and playing catch with him

until you noticed there was a boy lingering near the fence separating the both of your houses

he was watching the relationship you had with your grandfather curiously, almost as if there were a bit of envy in his eyes

being the kind child that you were, you went over to him and passed the small ball between the rungs of the fence to him

shouto was hesitant, but eventually took the ball from your inviting grip and tossed it back and forth between his hands testingly

this began a little game between you two

he would toss the ball over the fence, and you would throw it back over to him

you didn’t quite understand why he couldn’t come on the other side of the fence to visit properly, but that was okay

you two would spend hours by the fence, sitting and talking you would give him tiny daisy chains made from the flowers in your grandma’s garden

he wouldn’t tell you, but he kept each one you gave him on his windowsill

he would compliment you a lot, too

not that he knew what that meant, he was simply stating facts to you

“i like your hair. it’s very pretty.”

“you’re very strong. you throw over the ball like it’s nothing.”

“you want to become a hero? i think you would be the best one.”

“your smile makes me want to smile, too.”

all of his words make your heart do somersaults

sometimes when you’re sitting with your backs to the fence, leaning up against each other, you feel the heat of his left hand ghosting your fingers. you don’t know why that made you feel shy, but it did

one day before you were supposed to go back home to your parents’ house, you went to go say goodbye to shouto

he was sitting there normally, but his head was hung low so you couldn’t quite see his face

as you approached him, you noticed that there was a bandage covering his left eye

“sho?”

he said nothing as you sat down

“mom says i have to go now,” you tell him. he says nothing, again

“um… are you okay?”

an indiscernible noise comes from the small boy. you press your face right up against the one barrier separating you two. he looks up to see you worried. you didn’t like seeing him so upset

then an idea came to you

“before i go.. let me kiss it better.”

shouto looked at you in bewilderment

“you’re not… afraid?”

“no, why?” you asked in a confused manner, yet shouto remained hesitant

“come here, please,” you asked of him, “before mom catches me kissing a boy.”

pink dusting over his cheeks, he slowly crawled his way over to where you still kept your face against the fence. your gentle lips met the fabric of his bandage. the scent of something burnt catching in your nose as you did

“you’ll come back?” shouto asked quietly. you nodded, promising him

he nodded back in understanding, the tiniest of smiles appearing across his features

“i’ll be waiting.”

katsuki bakugou

you had been in the same class since kindergarten, meaning that you knew him before he had his quirk

even so, you thought he was pretty cool

the reason for that? well, you weren’t exactly the most well liked kid in school. children were ruthless, and there was always a bottom of every social ladder between preschoolers

you got teased a lot. they pulled your hair, made fun of the way you cried, poked fun at the shoes and shirts you wore despite them being your favourite ones

you were different. they didn’t like that

the world seemed completely against you

during a colouring activity, the box of crayons you were holding was smacked out of your hands. your bottom lip quivered as the same boy taunted you to no end about how clumsy you were

you simply bent over to pick them up before hearing another voice call out

“oi, picking on small fries like that is lame.”

looking to your left stood katsuki bakugou, looking bored and disinterested in helping you out. but your bully stopped in his tracks. being called lame?? by the great tiny katsuki bakugou??

no one had ever stood up for you like that

even though he didn’t help you pick up your crayons, it felt like you had some type of ally in this class

slowly, you connected two and two together

if you stayed around bakugou, no one could pick on you anymore! so you glued yourself to him practically every day

at first, he found it annoying, but after seeing that you admired him up close, he liked the attention that feuled his ego, so he kept you around

because you followed him around so much, you picked up a lot of things from him. he taught you how to defend yourself, and you taught him that some extras didn’t deserve as much attention as he was giving him. it was better to walk away sometimes

you ate lunch together, he came over to your house to play heroes and villains, he even showed you his secret all might poster collection. you were his person to talk to

he even had a katsuki bakugou™ nickname for you: small fry

you two were quite the duo. bakugou went from simply tolerating you, to gradually beginning to care for you being around

and as you grew up with him, he caught himself beginning to admire the strong, gorgeous person you had become all on your own. it seemed he had developed a bit more than just a simple friendship bond with you

did he ever tell you that? fuck no

you knew bakugou had always been rather… brash

but you absolutely drew the line in the sand when he wouldn’t stop picking on midoriya for being quirkless. that one day where you walked into that classroom to meet bakugou and his group of friends only to see bakugou telling some green haired kid to jump off the building because he would never make it into ua without a quirk. he was different

bakugou turned to leave and he saw you standing in the doorway with a bit of an angry, hurt expression on his face

“small fry, thought you were never gonna show up.”

“... lame.”

“hah? what did you say?”

“i said it’s lame picking on small fries like that just because they’re different,” you spat at him. his eyes stayed fixated on you as you walked past him, helping the smaller boy off the floor and asking if he was okay

normally, if it were anyone else, bakugou wouldn’t care. at all

but it was you

you were different

and all he did was act like he didn’t care. why? he didn’t know. but what he said to you that day came out rash and hurtful. you two had your fights before, but this had struck a chord with you. no one deserved to be treated like how you were back in preschool. that hurt

he didn’t realize how much you meant to him until you stopped inviting him over, you stopped eating lunch with him, you stopped texting and that bothered him

the one person who he wanted to admire him didn’t anymore

so it was a surprise to you that he waited for you to be finished your club after school to talk

“small fry, listen. oi! i said listen up!” you kept walking, but he stopped you by grabbing your wrist

“what? what is it? what can you possibly say to make things better? how could you treat people like that?”

“come back.”

“what?”

“i said, fuck- come back, y’know, eat lunch with all the extras again.”

“no.”

the frustration showed true on bakugou’s features. his cheeks were turning red, you figured from the anger he was feeling towards you yet his voice dropped

“i didn’t mean that shit back there. i was angry. fuck, i.. you want me to apologize or some shit, right. heard you small fries like that.” he shifted uncomfortably, his clammy hand still holding your wrist in a firm grip, as if you would walk away from him any moment now

“sorry, or whatever.” he mumbled out in the smallest voice you had ever heard bakugou speak in

your heart stopped as he looked at you with such sincerity. you held his gaze, eyes locked on his before you shook your head

“i don’t forgive you for saying what you said and doing what you did, but i do trust you. and i know that you’re better than that. you’re not lame. but if you seriously do that again, i’m not giving you any more chances.”

relief came flooding back to bakugou at your words, but his face fired up almost instantly as you moved your hand so that your fingers intertwined with his

“now c’mon, the new all might special is airing tonight, if we hurry we can still make it to my house.”

“don’t speak so fucking loud! ... damn small fry.”

all works © denkamis 2021.

tags:

@meilbox

want to be on the taglist? see this post!

#mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #shouto todoroki x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya x reader #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #denkamis.hcs

603 notes · View notes

candychronicles · 3 years

Text

heavens // t. keigo/hawks

A/N: my take on the roommates theme for the bnharem collab! honestly didn’t know where i was going with this one and it seems a bit random/rushed so i apologize in advance but hope you enjoy nonetheless!

CHARACTER PAIRING: Takami Keigo/Hawks x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3,491

WARNINGS: oral (f!receiving), some language

SYNOPSIS: despite his growing popularity, you two remained steady roommates, which confused you to no end. what was his true motive in keeping you around?

And they were roommates! Click here to read more!

Hawks was an interesting character to say the least. when you first moved in, you weren’t all too sure what to expect. he was, at the time, a fairly popular hero, but nowhere near the status he held today. he was charming, suave, friendly and it seemed genuine at the time. things went downhill quick though as his popularity rose and along with it, his annoying, god-like tendencies.

what you didn’t understand was why he kept you around after all this time. you didn’t necessarily need to live with him still, but as he got more popular and therefore gained more money, the areas he lived in grew nicer and nicer until you were on a gorgeous top floor penthouse with a stunning view, all for the price of your original, dingy apartment. what you could afford on your own would be nowhere near the luxury that he was offering. that’s why you stayed, but you weren’t sure why he offered to let you continue to stay with him after all this time.

sure, you were friends, got along for the most part and when you didn’t, stayed out of each other’s hair, but he didn’t owe you anything and you certainly didn’t want to feel like you were in his debt. yet something attracted the two of you together continuously despite it all.

what you didn’t know was that Hawks very much enjoyed having you around. you’d deny it until you were blue in the face but he heard one too many times you touching yourself in your bedroom, muffled moans matching those of the girl or guy he was fucking that night. he often did his best to give you a show, cursing, spitting, hitting, anything he could do to rile you up, get you to hear the lewd sounds coming from the apartment. you acted like you didn’t know what he was talking about, scoffed when he invited you to join him or give you his own private show and acted like you didn’t know he was doing that all on purpose just to tease you.

truth be told, you pushed all those thoughts aside when it came to him. he was attractive, very much so, and also very unattainable, in your eyes anyways. his god-like complex was annoying at times but also very warranted. he was popular with everyone he met-children, women, men, the elderly, hell, you don’t think he ever met a dog that didn’t like him. he was strong, powerful, commanding of the quirk he weld so well. his personality was nothing short of smooth, like honey over ice cream melting on your tongue. you felt so incredibly drawn to him that your brain absolutely shut out any idea of it, giving yourself no hope that he would ever reciprocate the pure feelings of desire you felt towards him. after awhile, your convincing became reality and you began to question everything, desperate to detach yourself from his enigmatic ways.

hey sweetheart, will be gone for most of the day. left some money for groceries and a little extra for whatever you want. don’t miss me too much

-H

you scoffed at the note pasted to your refrigerator, neon pink glaring at you in the morning sun trickling from the balcony window. he had been gone a lot lately, sometimes bringing home people at night, mostly crashing straight on the couch before he had even gotten a chance to change clothes. you acted like you didn’t miss him, miss his presence, the lingering touches that you swore were just him being an ass and making fun of you, but in reality, you missed the hell out of him. the domesticity that he showed when it was just you two vulnerable late at night, tired from a hard day of work, it made you realize that he wasn’t a god all the time after all.

that thought didn’t change your mind about his attainability, however. in fact, it only seemed to spur your ideals on more, convincing yourself that a man who could be so vulnerable and yet so strong was one who deserved more than what you could give. it would never be you and you were content with that fact, or so you thought.

your day was long and grueling, working patrols and small missions as a pro hero. you were likeable enough but when it came down to it, you didn’t care to be popular, didn’t care to make a ton of money or be interviewed by dozens of people a month. you just wanted to do your job and keep people safe and at the end of the day, that was what you accomplished.

it was nearly midnight when you returned home, the elevator dinging closed behind you as you walked into the penthouse. the lights were still off, everything in place from this morning, which meant that Hawks had not arrived home yet despite him being gone for nearly the whole day. anger bubbled up underneath your skin. you knew he didn’t owe you anything, you knew you were nothing more than roommates, but sometimes feeling so isolated and alone in this big space with no one to talk to or do anything with left you antsy and annoyed. in simple frustration and retaliation, you locked the balcony window, forcing him to come up the elevator like a dignified man, bringing his nightly fuck in through the lobby instead of sneaking them inside like he often did.

it was nearly six am before you were woken up to a loud thud, the door smacking against the wall. you sighed, allowing yourself to calm down before you tried to go back to bed, but before you got a chance, a knock sounded at your door.

“what?” you asked irately, not in the mood to entertain him and his antics.

“why’d you lock the balcony window?” he asked simply, arms crossed.

as you sat up to answer, you noticed his calm demeanor not so calm anymore. his chest was flaring up and down, body wobbly, and he reeked of alcohol.

“so much for a calm night,” you muttered. “i locked the door because i didn’t want to hear you fucking any of your whores while i was trying to sleep.”

“oh baby, you know you like it, like the sounds i make, the words i say. all you have to do is admit it and i can be all yours.”

“you wish bird brain,” you spat back at him, done with the conversation as you shimmied yourself back into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin and promptly shutting your eyes, ignoring the feeling of his stare burning into your brain.

“i do wish. i wish it were you i was fucking. i’ve wished that since the day i met you, all excited and doe eyed, ready to take on the world and all of its challenges. you never let my fame get in the way, never treat me any differently. you’ve been by my side throughout it all and yet you won’t let me get too close to you. why is that? afraid i’ll break your heart little one?”

you sat back up again quickly only to realize that he had moved to the foot of your bed. he sat down, taking off his boots and shucking them on the floor only to crawl practically into your lap, snuggling into your thigh.

“i won’t break your heart. i’ll only hurt you if you want me to, which i know you do, at least a little bit. but i’d n-never hurt your heart. you’re too precious for that princess, so sweet to me, so so angelic. and yet i can hear your moans through the walls, practically feel you arching off your bed as you chased your high, desperate for a release, wishing it were me who was touching you instead of your own fingers. i can do that you know. all you need to do is say the magic word and i’m yours. no more fucking other people, just me and you. i’ll spoil you rotten, anything you could possibly want and it’s all yours. you’d never have to worry about a thing again, yeah? what do you say?”

your heart hitched into your throat at his babbling confession. surely he wasn’t serious, right? it must’ve been the alcohol talking. you knew that if you said yes he was just going to tease you and tell you that he was joking and never wanted to see you ever again. you were just sure of it… but, in the off case that he was being serious… you couldn’t mess this up.

“yeah, okay,” you replied, voice hitching in your throat as you agreed with him.

you waited a few seconds for the harsh sting of a reply but nothing came. you cast your eyes down to see Hawks passed out, clinging to you as if his life depended on it. sighing, you flopped back down onto the bed, heels of your palms pressed into your eye sockets, brain full of thoughts as you tried to sift through your feelings. eventually you just gave up and passed out against the cool sheets of your bed, too tired to deal with the emotional turmoil you were putting yourself through.

when you woke up the next morning, Hawks was no longer against your thigh but rather plastered to your side. you weren’t sure how you ended up being spooned by the lanky man but it wasn’t necessarily the first time you had cuddled. your brain began working against you almost immediately, convincing yourself that the previous night's events were nothing more than a drunken spur from your roommate and that he did not, in fact, want to be with you.

with those thoughts in mind, you began to wiggle your way out of his grasp, nearly making it out of bed before you felt a hand shoot out and grab you by the wrist.

“where are you going beautiful? sleep with a man and then ditch him before he even gets a chance to wake up? how heartless of you.”

“oh shut up, you know damn well that we did not sleep together. in fact, you came in here at six in the morning just to simply annoy the hell out of me. now that’s what i call heartless.”

“we didn’t sleep together but we could’ve,” he teased, fingers rubbing gently up and down your arm as he attempted to coax you back into bed, but your mind worked on overdrive, simply not believing that he was interested in you at all.

“why do you always like to make fun of me, huh? does it give you some sick satisfaction to dangle hope like that in front of my face only to snatch it away from me if i ever say yes?” you spat, getting sick and tired of his games.

“princess, i’m not lying to you, nor am i making fun of you. i would never offer something like this if i wasn’t serious. i want to take care of you in any way i can-emotionally, sexually, financially, anything you need, i want to give it to you. i was trying to drop you hints, give you the space to come to your own conclusions but it seems that i miscalculated how that pretty little brain of yours works. instead of believing that i was seriously flirting with you, it seems as if you thought that i was making fun of you instead. how funny that the mind works like that sometimes. i must admit i was a fool for not seeing it sooner, but now it makes so much sense.”

“what are you rambling on about?” you asked, furrowing your brow in confusion as you tried to make sense of the fact that he was not only dead serious about wanting to be with you but also psychoanalyzing your thoughts at the same time.

“how you would always get mad when i brought people home but never said anything to me, how you always scoffed at my sweet words, would never take money from me despite me leaving it very clearly for you, never getting too close to me despite living together for years. i’m honestly dumbfounded that i didn’t realize sooner. you’ve been in love with me for a long time too, huh? except, unlike me, you truly never thought you had a chance.”

“u-uh, yeah, i-i just, Keigo, what are you really trying to say to me?”

“sweetheart, be mine, wholly and fully in every way possible. let me take care of you like i’ve always wanted, always tried to do. this isn’t some joke or elaborate ruse, i’m not lying to you or trying to hurt you in any way. i really, truly want to be with you.”

you exhaled heavily, not realizing you had been holding your breath the whole time, searching his eyes for any sign of a lie, not finding anything except sincerity and hope.

“okay,” you relented, nodding your head. “yeah, if you say you’re not lying to me, i’ll trust you. i just, i don’t know. i never realized that you actually liked me back. i never would’ve guessed it in a million years. never would’ve thought i would hear any words like that come out of your mouth let alone so sincerely.”

you looked down, twiddling your thumbs as you contemplated the situation once more, but before you could let your brain get the best of you, Hawks placed his slender fingers underneath your chin, lifting your face up so that you could peer at him. he leaned forward slowly, foreheads pressed together.

“is it okay if i kiss you?”

you nodded your head, squeaking out a quiet “yes” before surging forward to place your lips on his, desperate to feel him, desperate to quiet the negative voices in your head and surround yourself with him instead.

he matched your pace eagerly, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck to pull you forward even more, his own desperation leaking through the kiss. he was so enamored with you, the way you smelt, your mussy hair, the sparkle in your eyes, the feeling of your soft lips against his own. it was almost too much to handle. he hadn’t been with anyone in awhile, preferring to wait it out and confront you when he had the courage to do so, and he felt himself getting more and more antsy as time went on. he wanted to respect you, treat you with the dignity and honor that you deserved, but in that moment, all he wanted to do was ruin you and mark you as his own.

“baby, you need to tell me if i go to far, yeah? i just want to make you feel good, never uncomfortable. let me take care of you like you deserve,” he panted, adjusting himself closer to you.

“i trust you Keigo. i’m yours.”

he groaned at the sound of you, of how pathetic and weak you were towards him, how you trusted to be vulnerable around him, trusted that he would take care of you. he had never wanted to ruin anything so badly in his life and he was going to do his best to make sure you knew you were his.

the kisses turned more sensual, tongues dipping in and around each other, exploring one another for what felt like the first time ever. for you, it had been awhile, telling yourself that you were too busy to be sexual with someone else when in actuality you had been craving a certain blonde all along. for him, this was something entirely new and special. he never got the chance to be truly intimate with anyone, let his guard down, want to please his partner more than himself, but you were different, special in the fact that you loved him for him and no other reason than that.

“please Keigo, i need more,” you whined, fisting at his shirt as you tried to pull him impossibly closer to your body.

“anything for you princess.”

his shirt came off first, a delicate process he mastered years ago. he reached for your own shirt, fingers playing at the hem as he once again asked permission. you replied by pulling it off yourself, exposing your breasts to him. he immediately latched onto your left nipple, hand coming up to pinch the right, gently coaxing you to lay back down on the bed as he followed, hands and mouth never leaving your body. he laved you with his tongue, leaving a trail of cool moisture in its wake, sucking and biting at every soft spot he could think of, wanting so hard to hear you moan.

“that’s it baby, don’t be shy. i want to hear you moan, say my name.”

you responded with a groan as his hand came to rest on your clothed cunt, feeling the wetness through your shorts. he smirked at the realization that you did truly want him as bad as he wanted you and the thought had his cock straining in his pants. it wasn’t long before he had freed himself from his confines, watching the way your eyes drank up the sight of him through the filtered light.

gently, you reached out your hand to paw at his cock, marveling in the way it twitched at the slightest touch. you were enamored by him, all of him. before you kneeled a greek god willing to worship you, a mere mortal. you didn’t know what you did to deserve this but you figured you’d spend the rest of your life thanking the heavens.

“don’t worry about me right now, yeah? let’s just focus on making you feel good,” he cooed, reaching down to gently tug at your shorts.

you lifted your hips up without question, allowing him to pull the fabric down your body, your underwear coming along with it. he greedily watched as your slick stringed against the fabric before snapping. he was amazed that he could make someone so wet just by kissing them and was more than curious to see how soaked he could get you by the end of the morning.

he slowly dropped himself down to the edge of the bed, positioning himself between your thighs. kisses were placed to the soft flesh on your legs, pinching and nipping along the way, relishing in the squeals and moans you let out of your mouth. experimentally, he licked up your slit, watching how your breath hitched and your hands grasped the sheets below you, desperate to hold onto something. he licked again, this time using one of his hands to hold you down and the other to come and open you up. you responded immediately, back attempting to arch off the bed at the already intense situation.

he started up a steady pace, watching each little movement, breath, moan, grasp of the blanket to analyze what you liked best. he was enraptured with you, everything about you. you were so strong, fighting crime like it was nothing, doing anything you could to keep citizens safe and yet here you were, putty in his hands, baring your heart for him, trusting that he would take care of you.

the pressure inside of you slowly built up. it was like an intense heat you had never felt before, white hot and pulsing inside your abdomen. you clutched the sheets, your thighs, his hair, anything you could to purchase yourself to this earth as he brought you closer and closer to the promised land. finally, with one final lick, you came, crying out his name in a symphony of praises, singing to the high heavens.

he watched as you came done around his tongue, how your breath labored, eyes screwed shut, face flush and face twisted in pure pleasure. it was a magnificent sight to see, you so relaxed and carefree, enjoying every feeling that flooded over you.

when you had finally come down and your breathing began to even out, you opened your eyes to find Keigo still nestled between your thighs, head resting gently on you.

“how are you feeling love?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your hip.

“like i just left this world and came back,” you answered truthfully, laughing at his proud expression.

“are you okay? is there anything i can get for you?”

“no, Keigo, i think i’m okay,” you answered truthfully.

for the first time in a long time, you felt at ease. your body was relaxed, your mind foggy from the pleasure and you had the man you loved staring up at you like you were the only thing in this world that mattered.

“good, i’m glad you’re okay because we’re not done here. lay back down baby bird, let me make you feel good.”

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #bnha hawks #takami keigo #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia

561 notes · View notes

mercurial-madhouse · 3 years

Text

Trigger Warning: Healing is painful, but there’s so much light on the other side if we’re strong enough to walk through the dark.

My hope in sharing my story is to help anyone who reads it find peace or healing, just as I always aim with my fiction. If it feels right to you to do so, I encourage you to reblog this. It is highly personal, but I choose to share it publicly.

************

This past Sunday, I received an email responding to my desire to withdraw from a fic fest. Instead of the simple “You have been removed from the fest” that I’d been expecting through an official channel from mods to a participant, this is the response I received. Please be aware, the following is painful.

***

We've removed you from the fest and will mark you down as not being welcome to participate in future fests. We show a great deal of compassion toward our writers, which is why we send reminders, answer any and all questions, and provide extensions when requested. There's a reason why our fest has one of the highest numbers of fics of any fest/challenge in the fandom - it's because we support our participating writers and do everything possible to assist them as they complete their fics.

However, once a writer has repeatedly failed to communicate and missed both a deadline and an extended deadline, it's clear that they do not have any respect for the fest, the mods, our time, or our own unique situations, as we don't have endless extra hours to track down participants in a fic fest. Several reminders on three different platforms, an extension, and requests for writers to simply let us know if they need more time does not demonstrate a lack of compassion in any capacity. We also showed a great deal of compassion by welcoming you with open arms into the [redacted] after you insulted the fest, insulted [redacted] fics, and made writers uncomfortable last year after signing up to beta their fics, all while pretending to support and uplift writers in the fandom just as you did in your email here.

Have a great week!

- [redacted] Mods

***

This email arrived right at the end of the night, just as I was lying down to sleep. I couldn’t read it all the way through. It elicited a trauma response in me. My heart started racing, my palms were sweaty, I was shaking, I felt sick to my stomach.

I went into fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode. My first response was to freeze. In order to escape the barrage of pain bombarding me, I simply dissociated and disconnected from my body. It allowed me to sleep, but barely. I deleted the email in a desperate attempt to pretend it didn’t exist.

The pain caught up with me twenty-four hours later. I couldn’t breathe, my lungs shrunk in around my heart. My whole body locked up. I couldn’t move. I knew that if I spoke, even to say ‘hello’ to someone, I’d start crying.

The moment I was alone in my room the tears came. The pain came, bursting through me. I sobbed uncontrollably, curled into myself on my bed, begging for the pain to stop, begging for a miracle, screaming internally for relief and to understand what I’d done to deserve this because I didn’t have the air for more than broken whispers.

I fell asleep whispering ‘I need a miracle’ over and over. The mantra blocked out all the disgusting thoughts that wanted to keep swirling through my head. This is it. This is the final proof that you don’t belong here. You never have. You never will. Run away, M. It’s over. You tried, you failed. You always do. You always will.

I fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

Grief is intense. These are the moments where we don’t think we’ll survive what we’re feeling. My love, whoever you are, if you are reading this, hear from me. The agony passed. I needed to feel that agony, to allow it to move through me and to give myself the space to feel it. Without diving off the deep end into what hurts, I wouldn’t have been able to find the inner peace to keep healing, to start to understand.

The residual pain is still there, even as I write this post. But it no longer overwhelms my senses. And by Tuesday morning, I’d been given insight into what was happening.

I experienced a trauma response because it mirrored mistreatment I first received in childhood from family and classmates alike and continued into my adult life. In full view of others, it was acknowledged as cruel even by my mother, who struggles with her own guilt because she never stood up for me. No one did.

So I internalized the mistreatment. I must deserve it if everyone else around me is ok with me being singled out like this? At first I spoke up for myself. But in the end I stopped speaking up for myself too. I had never healed this pain and here it was, coming back around again, forcing me to face it, to heal it once and for all.

I still do not know what exactly I may have said to cause these accusations that you see in the email. **I do not and will not deny them.** Even if my words were taken in a way I did not consciously intend, to deny that I said anything that caused someone else pain is to deny my own power AND to deny that everyone’s emotions are valid and worth digging into.

I have the power to inflict pain, just as I have the power to spread and share love and joy.

Whatever I said came from a place of pain, of believing I did not belong in this community. That I am not good enough or worthy enough to be here. A series of unfortunate but necessary events when I first entered this fandom completely disintegrated my core beliefs in my abilities as a writer, something I have always kept so close to my heart, and my belief that I had a place in this fandom.

I expect, as I look into my past patterns, that what I did was try to logic why I wasn’t allowed to belong. At the time, this fest was the only subset of the fandom I knew, I was so brand new. So I looked through all the prompts in the fest. I brought a scientific method view to answering the question: “What is it about the fics people write in this fandom am I unable/incapable of doing?”

This process allowed me to generalize everything I saw that I perceived as ‘I can’t do that, this is why I don’t belong here’. Consumed in my own doubt that I could measure up and write something worth reading, I dropped from the fest last year too. If I can’t contribute writing that’s worth reading, I could at least stick with what I do best, which is helping others be their best selves. I had signed up to beta, and I chose to cling to the only grasp of belonging I had, which was through beta’ing. I ended up beta’ing four fics last year for the fest. And, of course, each of them were (and still are) incredible fics. At the time, it was further proof to me of exactly what I can’t accomplish.

In all likelihood, these generalizations, stemming from a place of pain and jealousy because I wanted to write good fics too, came out in a personal conversation with someone, which they translated as a personal attack. It is valid. Whoever you are, your emotions are valid. It does not matter how I meant whatever I said, pain is what you felt. This person did not feel comfortable sharing that pain with me, so instead they turned to others and shared. My moment of vulnerability and pain then spread more pain.

Pain only comes from pain.

The response was to shadow ban me. In fact, I was never meant to find out about any of this. The pain this person shared was simply taken at face value and that was that.

So on my end, this decision showed up in the physical world this way: Suddenly all my asks went unanswered, people I tagged to share snippets and last lines and get to know more through ‘about me’ posts or who had once talked to me through DMs simply stopped speaking to me in a way that is only noticeable to the person being ignored. I thought I was going crazy. But there it was, right in front of me: absolute proof that I wasn’t good enough to be a part of this fandom.

Is anyone else beginning to see the cycle of pain?

I expect I continued this cycle right back, because the pain turned to bitterness. I’d been doing everything I could to support every author the best way I knew how, and this was what I got? The exact opposite?

I found out about this shadow ban and actual blocking around June of this year. An ask sent in by a friend for me, inquiring why I couldn’t reblog a post that’d been sent to me by someone else, finally gave me the answer that I’d been banned for the accusations you saw above.

Horrified, hurt, and unable to comprehend any of this except to know that I support every author no matter what they write, I sent an apology to the mods, trying to end this cycle the best I could without knowing any of the details of what had happened. There was nothing more I could do.

They thanked me for the apology, though as you can see from the email, it was never accepted. I do not say that as a judgement call, but simply as a statement of what happened. Everyone is entitled to accept or not accept in their own time and their own ways.

I have been healing so much since everything that occurred last year. And the more I dig in to this cycle, the more my heart goes out to the drafters of this email, to the person I hurt with my words who then turned to share it out of context with others, and to the people who shadow banned me in connection with this situation.

We attract to us what resonates with us. Like attracts like. Which means just as I’ve attracted the greatest friends to me, I have also attracted this pain, and conversely, these mods and that person attracted me to them.

Deep down, on some level we share the same core wounds. And the person who can really understand just how painful those wounds can be is someone who feels them too.

So this is my message to the mods of the above email, to those who have shadow banned me and want nothing to do with me, and to the original person I hurt with my words:

I am sorry for my part in this pain. I am sorry for causing pain and I apologize for it. You are loved. You are enough. You are doing a fantastic job. Your feelings are valid. Your hurt is valid. I don’t know what occurred that hurt you before I entered the fandom, but after finding out from others that an email like the one you sent above is ‘Oh that’s just how they are’ tells me something else happened to hurt you before I even arrived.

Your hurt then is valid too. Allow yourself to feel it and process it. Don’t let it consume you. Don’t let that hurt and fear of it happening again or believing that that’s how everyone is push away from you people who in fact love just what you love. If someone has a different belief from yours, don’t let it invalidate what is true for you. Believing internalized lies about myself only caused me pain. And we spread and create what we believe to be true, whether we consciously realize it or not.

So here, now, is my truth:

I choose to perpetuate love. I choose to spread love. I choose to understand my pain and the pain of others, to transmute it, and to heal it, instead of passing that pain on.

I choose compassion. Compassion for myself in making these mistakes, and compassion for those who have hurt me. I do not condone the email that was sent to me. No one deserves to be treated that way. I choose to focus beneath the visceral anger and lashing out, to focus on the agony beneath the words, and stop this cycle of pain.

I choose to belong in this fandom. I choose to support every author in this fandom and ensure no one ever feels not good enough. I choose to own my past mistakes and learn from them.

I choose trust. To trust that those who I truly hope will see this, will see it. I have no expectations of responses or outcomes or reactions. My only hope is that whoever will benefit from seeing this post will see it.

This is not a matter of right or wrong, bad or good, just or unjust. It is a situation of two parties in pain, triggered by the same triggers.

Looking back on that email, I’ve come to realize that half of the pain I felt when I received it was not my own. I felt the pain of the attack, sure, but I also felt the immense pain beneath those words. And I wish I could hug you. I acknowledge your pain and I acknowledge how painful it is because I know that pain myself. I also know that this pain isn’t you and it isn’t who you are.

So I choose to remember the mods I first met around this same time last year in this same email chain. Mods who were so kind and offered advice to a brand new writer even when she sent an email that had nothing to do with the fest and was still struggling to find her place in the fandom. I choose to remember how beautiful that kindness felt. I choose to remember how I was so grateful for that kindness that I shared my gratitude for these same mods in an email with with another fandom friend at the time. I am still grateful for you.

You are so loved. You are loved for being exactly who you are. This fandom is built upon love. A shared love of five incredibly talented lads who have brought so much joy and light when each and every one of us has needed it the most. Shine your light through the dark and believe with all your heart that you are not alone. You have support. I support you. Shine on. Don’t let anyone dim it.

#Being this vulnerable #is an act of courage #I never knew I had #I'm not fearless #I feel ready to vomit #I have no idea how this will be received #but I am sharing my truth #have courage to share your truth #the world needs you

89 notes · View notes

corpsedaydream · 4 years

Note

hi i love ur work so much and i had a request! corpse and reader are dating and she isn’t necessarily what fans think his type is. she isn’t really goth and doesn’t watch anime so when she sees corpse talking about e girls and goth girls and all that stuff she feels left out and like she isn’t who he wants to be with, and when he’s streaming with her (she’s also a youtuber), he’s like talking about an anime show and reader feels left out and the whole live chat is just saying how she doesn’t belong there and that corpse could do so much better ect. so she has a breakdown in the bathroom and he reads the comments about her and gets upset and defends her which ends with him cuddling the fuck out of her and kissing away her tears idk just angst with a fluffy ending please i’m desperate 😔✌️💗

ooooooooooof i put myself in all the feels writing this and now i’m meant to just go to sleep like i’m not feeling some type of way smh

but!!!!!!!! i like how it turned out hehe, hope u enjoy

word count: 1.5k

_________________________

beach baby

Your freckles were a lot more prominent lately, but that was always something that happened during this time of year when summer was quickly approaching. As much as you felt a little insecure by the the little marks that were dotted all over your body, it came hand in hand with the excitement of being able to do all of your favourite things that just felt better to do in summer.

You were a beach baby through and through. Growing up, you lived in the one house your whole life that was right by the beach and when your family went on holidays, it was always to a holiday house that was by another beach. You could swim before you could walk or talk. When you did learn how to walk, your parents realised they had to keep an extra close eye on you at the beach because you’d always run down to the waves, not realising the danger in your toddler years. When you watched The Little Mermaid for the first time, you begged your mother to turn you into a mermaid so you could live a life under the sea. When you were a kid getting picked up from school, your after school activity was going to the beach. Whenever the school swimming carnival rolled around, it was always you who got nominated to do the races. When you were a dramatic teenager and found out the boy you liked kissed someone else, you went to the beach and wrote his name in the sand just to watch it get washed away by the sea.

Your life had always involved the beach and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Whenever the idea of falling in love with someone popped into your mind, you always thought it would happen with the beach involved in some way. And there had been a few surfer boys you’d had flings with, but none stuck. They never really made an impact on you.

But Corpse had.

The two of you were an unlikely pairing, the absolute definition of opposites attract, but it worked.

You’d met at a mutual friends house by chance and there was an undeniable spark from that very first moment.

“Sitting under the moon is a lot better than the sun.” The two of you had found yourselves in a light hearted argument that very first night. After getting introduced and realising there was a pull between you both, he had eventually grabbed your hand and brought you to come sit up on the rooftop with him.

“What? No way, dude.” You shook your head and laughed, he was everything you weren’t but all you wanted. “The moon is so pretty,” You agreed with him, “but the sun makes you warm and it’s so pretty when the sky is all blue with a couple of cute, white fluffy clouds. That’s the perfect weather to be out and about.”

“If you like going out and about.”

“You don’t like going outside?”

“Nah,” Corpse hesitated, contemplating on how honest he should be with the girl he’d just met but was feeling so comfortable around. “I can’t handle the world sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. If someone came up to me and said you can spend your whole life under water as a mermaid but never be able to come back on land, I’d seriously consider.”

“Even after meeting me?” The tone shifted back to the playful flirting and you were grateful for it.

“Shut up and admire your moon.”

“I will, after all, the night sky is far superior.” He was holding firm in his opinion.

“I think it’s all really pretty.” You said honestly, and it was the truth. You were just as hypnotised by a moonlit sky with stars sparkling as you were with a daytime sky.

“I think you’re really pretty.”

He’d had your heart from that moment.

You’d actually gone to the beach today and spent a solid few hours there with friends and it had put you in such a blissful state. Making the drive to your boyfriends place so enjoyable, because you were also very excited to see him.

He’d left the door unlocked when you messaged him saying you were on your way. So when you arrived you let yourself in, shutting and locking the front door behind you, knowing Corpse was streaming and you were going to join him.

“Hi.” You whispered, opening the door to his office, not knowing if you should let your presence be known to stream yet. You always felt a little nervous when it came to his fans. The first time you joined him in a stream, all you could concentrate on was the amount of messages that stated how you were exactly wrong for Corpse. How you were the opposite to who he should be with. From there, it only progressed. You saw the hate comments and negative things that some of them had to say about you and it hurt.

“She’s here!” Corpse announced, so at least it was known to them that you would be joining him at some point, they had some warning and you hoped it meant you would receive a warmer welcome. “Hey, baby, get over here.” He opened his arms and you sat down on his lap, greeting him with a kiss before you both brought your attention back to his stream.

“Hi guys!” You greeted the stream, cautiously looking over the influx of messages, waiting for something negative but it seemed they were asking you about something. “I can see you guys asking, but I don’t really know what you’re talking about...” You trailed off before looking at Corpse. “What were you talking about?”

“Oh...” He started, “we were talking about an anime. (Y/N) isn’t really into anime, guys.” He laughed and you smiled but you could feel the anxiety start to build, you just knew this was going to cause a wave of hate to you.

“Hey, I loved Sailor Moon and Pokemon when I was a kid.” You attempted to make a joke, thinking it would gain approval of his fans but it only caused them to react worse.

The chat started moving faster, messages of,

‘LMAO of course she doesn’t know what we’re talking about’

‘Did she really just say Pokemon? She’s fucking basic’

‘What a fucking dumbass’

‘Dump her ass Corpse’

‘Ugh why the fuck did she come?’

‘WE DONT WANT YOU HERE’

‘Fuck off (Y/N)’

‘Corpse you can do so much better’

You could feel the tears welling up, each comment being another jab and you knew you had to leave or you would cry right there and they’d all hear just how they had gotten to you. Quickly, you got up, ignoring Corpse calling after you and trying to reach for you to bring you back to him.

Making your way to the bathroom, you washed your face in an attempt to calm yourself but it didn’t work at all. So instead, you sunk to the floor and let yourself cry. You couldn’t understand why they hated you, you loved him so much for exactly who he was, just as they did. Couldn’t they be happy if who he was with made him happy? Negative thoughts were swirling your mind. They were getting to you.

“(Y/N)?” Corpse cracked the door open, his face full of worry as he stepped inside the bathroom. “Oh, baby, hey, hey,” He was by your side in a moment, his hands finding your sun kissed cheeks as he left a kiss against your head before finding your vision. “I saw what they were saying. They’re wrong.”

“But what if they’re not, Corpse?” You couldn’t help but to argue back. “You deserve someone better for you.”

“Stop it, stop right now.”

“No, I mean, look at us... We’re complete opposites.”

“And so?” He responded. “Do you love me?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“That’s all that matters.” He told you, and you knew he was right, it was just the hate comments were really playing on your mind.

“Is it, though? Don’t you want someone else?”

“No. Fuck no.” He wrapped his arms around you then, he knew you really needed reassurance right now and he was going to give it to you. “You’re fucking perfect, baby. My beach baby, I only want you.” He told you, bringing you onto his lap once more, only now you were on the bathroom floor. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, needing to be close to him.

“Please don’t leave me.” Your voice was barely audible when you’d whispered that but he heard it and it crushed his heart to know it was his audience that had made you feel this way.

“I won’t, ever.” He assured you, he was cradling you with a force now, ever so slightly rocking the two of you back and forth. “You don’t ever have to ask me that, I’m not going anywhere.”

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse imagine #corpse husband imagine #corpse x reader #request #writing #mine #GOODNIGHT #Anonymous #answered

1K notes · View notes

bbubbasawyer · 3 years

Text

annoying r4gn0r0k

matt miller x reader || y/n decides to bother matt after a mission

warnings : swearing, mentions of violence, idk im bad at this

word count : 1324

authors note : if youve read a smililar plot its bc this is a rewrite and my old acc got deleted also this is unedited and lazy lols sorry

You’d expect it to be easy to do all the dirty work in a simulation but sadly, that wasn’t the case at all. After hours of aliens and pieces of code, y/n stumbled out of the machine exhausted. They lie on the floor ready to pass out before they feel a gentle kick at their waist, they looked up to see Boss who was looking at them amused and offered them a water bottle. They groaned and got up, moving to a cross legged position before guzzling the drink in seconds. Boss booted them again before speaking up with a smile.

“Go to sleep little dude, you look like a dead man,” They patted y/n’s head before continuing. “I’ll grab your brother and continue on, you can chill now.’” They left to go get Gat while y/n watched them disappear into the ship's walls. They got up with a groan, deciding to take up the boss’s advice and dragging themselves to their room with a dead look. They stop at the storage bay, taking a pause to look at Matt, who was resting on the couch playing on whatever the device was. His head was resting on the arm rest facing the door so he had no clue that they were this, y/n grinned, forgetting any fatigue they were experiencing they decided to bother Matt instead. They crept up slowly to the unknowing emo, using the stealth skills from having to hide from gunshots so often for better reasons now.

“Boo.” They whispered into his ear, he let out a shrilled scream and scrambled onto the other side of the couch, dropping the game device out of his hands and onto the floor in the process. Y/n laughed, throwing their head back while Matt glared at them with icy blue eyes. As he calmed down he moved back into his original position and went back to his original task, this didn’t sit right with y/n, who took time out of their precious beauty sleep to bother the tech addict. They huffed and tried a few basic things, waving their hand in front of his face, making fart noises, even messing up his game, but the man was determined to ignore them. They finally sighed and sat on the couch with him, moving his feet so they could flop onto the opposite end to him.

“What are you doing, aren’t you meant to be sleeping.” Matt grumbled while adjusting his position to accommodate the menace at the end of the couch. He made sure to kick them while doing so, y/n slapped his calf in return, making sure it was extra hard.

“Can I not hang out with my bestest friend in the whole entire world?” They looked at Matt with mock hurt and he rolled his eyes. “You know they’ll get stuck like that if you roll them too much. T B H though you absolutely deserve it, you’re like an edgy twat. Anyways I am wasting my beauty sleep on you, you should be blessed Matty, I am like a monarch.” They poked at Matt’s leg.

“No, no you can not, also I am not an edgy twat, you are not a monarch and that is a wives tale, stop believing everything you hear or you’ll become more stupid than you aready are.” He shot back making y/n dramatically gasp in an over exaggerated manner, they start fake crying, wiping away the imaginary tears with their jumpsuit. Matt rolled his eyes again and looked back at his game in hopes to ignore them once more and make them leave.

“I am literally so heartbroken Matthew I can't believe you, I am telling Gat right now what you just did to me, I am actually crying right now.” They cry harder. This went on for five more minutes before they yawned, realising how tired they were they went silent, they contemplated going to their room but decided against it as the tiredness was really hitting them. y/n decided this would be the best time to annoy Matt, they got up and stretched before forcing themself into his arms, he yelped in protest and panic, wondering what the hell they were doing. After moving around a little they got comfortable and rested their head on Matt’s chest, passing out in only minutes. He had no clue what to do, this wasn’t exactly an everyday thing after all, so he just rested his game on the floor and awkwardly wrapped his arms around the now sleeping idiot. He looked at the now sleeping person and admired their resting face.

It took a few hours for Matt to join them in slumber but in the end, he did. In the hour or two he was awake, he played his game, watched whatever he could get his hands on, admired y/n, caressed their head and even would just stare at them in a non creepy way. Kinzie, who was hoping to catch a break and force Matt to do her job, walked in on this happening and made awkward eye contact with him before leaving while grumbling about how a nerd is getting more pussy than her. Shaundi also walked in on the two, except this time they were both asleep, she walked out and passed Kinzie who asked her if she saw it two and after saying yes they both decided to never speak of it again.

As soon as Boss and Gat got out of the simulation, they made a beeline to Matt’s ‘room’ in hopes for him to make them a training area for them. They were also searching for y/n to make sure that they were resting and not procrastinating sleep by bothering one of the other members of the ship. On the way there, they were stopped for a few reasons, Shaundi asking a random favour off Boss, Pierce greeting them with his usual charismatic personality, and even CID, who asked them what they were doing. Their last interruption of their journey was Kinzie, also asked what they were doing, they Gat replied Kinzie laughed.

“You don’t wanna go in there.” She looked back down at her computer, still chuckling. Boss and Gat look at each other before looking back at her with a confused look.

“Why not?” Boss asked with a raised brow.

“Well unless you want Gat to try and rip this whole place apart I don’t recommend it, you know?” Kinzie shrugged.

“And who said I would be ripping up the fuckin’ place?” This only gave them more questions than answers.

“Fine then, go in. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She smiled up at them and they proceeded into the room. At first they didn’t see any problem, y/n and Matt were just sleeping together on the couch, it wasn’t like they were fucking or naked together, and then Gat realised. Matt and y/n, his little precious sibling, his little kid, was sleeping with Matt fucking Miller.

“WHAT IN-” Boss covered his mouth before he could continue and dragged him out of the room, using all their strength to keep him from murdering the neon goth. After getting him a safe distance from the room, they finally let their grip loose, but not loose enough to let the man run back into the room and strangle Matt. They then laughed with Johnny glaring at them through his shades. “How are you laughing when that little emo twat has his arms around my sibling?!”

“You’re being dramatic, besides they’re both consenting adults and not having sex so stop whining before I hit you.” They patted his back and sat on one of the chairs nearby. “Relax Gat, beat him up when he’s awake and not sleeping with your sib.” They grinned while Gat glared holes through their skull.

“Fine but I swear that kids fucking dead.”

#matt miller x reader #matt miller #saints row #johnny gat #boss sr #pierce washington #kinzie kensington #shaundi #CID #johnny gat x sister reader #maybe a little boss x gat if you wanna look at it like that #kinzie is so hot #anyway #what do i tag this with #uhhh fluff #waht3

120 notes · View notes

wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

the worst case scenario

okay so this is possibly part 1 of a v v angsty dad!tom fic!!

WARNING: the section under the cut of this is v v v dark with mentions of death and some graphic descriptions of blood etc - please please don't read if any of these things may affect you <3

the part above the cut (the keep reading bit) is completely fluffy (a bit of childbirth but not graphic) so you could read only that first bit as a stand alone if anybody wanted to

dad!tomholland x reader

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

“Stop laughing at me!!!” Y/n exclaimed in mock anger before bursting out laughing, knowing she did look pretty ridiculous.

“I can’t help it you just…. You look like an elephant!” Tom cackled from his reclined position lying on the couch, whilst his 8 month pregnant fiancé struggled to get up from her seated position on the floor - where she had spent the last half an hour wrapping presents for her nephews birthday.

“You know a supportive soon to be father would’ve helped me up!” Replying with a scowl that didn’t last long, Y/n finally standing up took the three steps to the couch before uncerimoniously collapsing into it.

Grinning with this absolute sparkle in his eye, Tom leant forward and slid up to Y/n to pull her into his side. His hand came to rest upon her massive bump - at this point it was almost a rule that if he were touching Y/n he also had to be touching the bump. Tom claimed it to be skin to skin contact and although Y/n were pretty sure that didn’t come into effect until after the baby was born, she wasn’t complaining either.

“It’s a shame your stuck with me then huh?” He murmured into the top of Y/n’s head, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head while tracing meaningless patterns on her shirt over the bump. Tom was beyond excited to become a Dad, family had always meant everything to him growing up (and now). There was nothing he wanted more , therefore, to call them a family of three - or more accurately four, not forgetting Tess of course.

“Oh how I regret ever taking up that extra shift at the club” She mused sarcastically, enjoying how he feigned offence in return.

The way the two had met was so incredibly cliche that it was almost painful, whenever anyone asked how they met she always winced internally. But it was their truth, Y/n had been a caddy at the golf course Tom frequented with his brothers. The nature of his ‘reputation’ meant the caddies always had to sign NDA’s to be paired with Tom’s group and the chosen few were those personally recommended by the golf course. She’d always stuck out to him, mainly because she seemed to be biting her tongue as they worked their way round the course. Caddies, also by job description, were not to speak unless spoken to; to be polite and courteous but not chatty. So, given how professioial she was, had taken some convincing for Tom to drag it out why she looked in physical pain whenever they played the 13th hole.

“Look somethings on your mind I can tell! If you hate me I can arrange another caddy I just -“ He followed her march to back from the hole toward the little buggy, ahead of his brothers and Dad who were making small talk from behind.

“FINE! Okay fine.” Reaching the end of her tether, Y/n snapped, whipping her body round to face him. “It’s your grip! On this hole especially you always play the driver with you pinky too far down the shaft, it’s why you always end up in the bunker on the 13th! It’s bloody infuriating because them I’m the one that has to clean the buggy you’ve trampled sand into!”

“Oh…. I-I … I wasn’t expecting that” Tom had spoken quietly, in an unfamiliar tone to Y/n. Over hours she’d spent on the course with them over the months, Y/n had gotten used to his storytelling voice when recounting an insane experience to his family that he’d had in the world of Hollywood; his grumpy voice when he played badly, which was often; and then his gloating voice - most definitely the worst and intolerable. This voice though, was different.

“I-I’m so sorry I have no right, I just-“ She’d out her foot in it …. badly. The young actor was one of the most clubs most prestigious and valued members; and she’d just insulted him. Clearly, she was also about to be in search of another job.

“No no I appreciate your tip… I didn’t even realise you play?” His gracious smile calmed her nerves a little, though Y/n still wrung her hands together as she replied.

“Well we aren’t supposed to talk about it but the club let us employees loose after hours… I practice quite a bit”

“Seeing as you think my game is so shitty, you fancy a round next time?”

Flash forward 3 and half years and a proposal, they were now taking their next massive leaps in the world together. Bringing a whole new life into it. It was bloody terrifying, they both openly admitted. But it was also exciting, new, incredible and… and made them even closer. Now they had to be in each others lives forever, no escaping.

“How many days left?” Craning her neck back on his shoulder so Y/n could meet his brown eyes, she knew the answer would be immediate.

“15 till the due date and the app said they’re the size of a rhubarb but I don’t really know what that means.” He knew more about the pregnancy and birth than she did. He had about a dozen different apps on his phone (including one pointlessly comparing the size of the baby to carrots/ watermelons/ onions), had read 4 different books (which for Tom was the equivalent to reading Newton’s book ‘philisphica Mathematica’.)

Ever since she’d told him about the pregnancy Tom had excelled every expectation Y/n had of him… massively. Without even having a conversation surrounding it, he had explicitly cancelled all major work commitments within 2 months of the due date and until around a year after. He had flown back and fourth across the world so he could pop in and check on you. He’d also set his whole family on becoming your minders when he was away - Y/n wouldn’t have been able to go a day avoiding a Holland (or Osterfield) if she had tried.

The pregnancy thus far hadn’t been the easiest though, hence why Y/n still appreciated to constant worrying texts and calls. During the first trimester the morning sickness had been literal hell; and then you’d had a little bit of a scare with pre-eclampsia during the second. It landed you a 3 day stay in hospital and a very very panicked Tom rushing back from New York on the first possible flight.

So now? Y/n wanted the baby out. She wanted family life as parents. (At which point hopefully Tom would stop comparing the size of your child to an assortment of different fruit and veg)

“You know, you really are going to be the best dad in the world Thomas Stanely Holland.”

“And you Y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n are already a pretty impressive mum.”

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

It was 3 o’clock the next morning when Y/n awoke with a sudden groan instinctively rubbing her stomach in an attempt to get them easing up. Now too familiar with Braxton-Hicks contractions, the weird cramping that waxes and wanes but never letting her get any rest - Y/n knew she was in for a long night. With a muted sigh she carefully lifted Tom’s arm off her side, cautious not to disturb him. The poor boy had been up most nights with her, just because baby wasn’t letting her sleep, it didn’t mean Tom wasn’t deserving of rest either.

So making furtive movements at a snails pace, she attempted to tip toe out the room - yet as Tom had pointed out before, she looked almost like an elephant, so everything was relative. Surprisingly though, she was successful, escaping onto the soft cream carpet of their hallway before choosing to venture into the room opposite theirs. It had once been a spare room, though more correctly termed the ‘shit room’ because that’s where all the accumulated shit they got was thrown. Now however, Tom and his brothers had taken on the mammoth task of clearing it out and redecorating - creating the most beautiful nursery one could ever see. Complete with a rocking chair which Y/n made a beeline for, now allowing herself to audible groan at the tight sensation deep inside her.

Normally they would ease after a half an hour or so, yet this time, after what was surely more like an hour and a half they started to…. ramp up. What was a tight pressure sensation quickly became one more forceful volatile and full of pain. She put it off for about 3 or 4 cycles of these, pursing her lips and breathing deeply as she tried to convince herself they’d just simply fizzle away. This couldn’t be the real thing could it? It was too soon - as Tom had said she wasn’t due for another 15 days. It wasn’t happening… was it?

The answer was pretty comprehensively and cohesively given when Y/n tried to stand up, in the hope of walking the ache off, she felt an incredibly tight crunch as her insides seemed to wring themselves together. Oh … and a surge of water soaked her pyjama bottoms.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCKKKK TOMMMM!! TOM-ah shit- MY WATERS!!! TOOOMMMM”The pain had amped up to a very very impressive levels, forcing Y/n to clutch her sides as she kept bending and straightening back up… as if that would help. Her lonesome agony didn’t last long though, a flustered Tom hurtled in the room - his hair sticking up all over the place and although his eyes were puffy from sleep he still had them glued open impressively wide.

“No its-its too- its too early!” In pure disbelief, Tom shook his head staring across at her face, contorted in pain.

“Yeh because-“ She gulped and exhaled in as much of a controlled manner she could through pursed lips; before answering his stupid statement. “Because I can just HOLD IT IN FOR ANOTHER 2 WEEKS SHALL I?” It took a while for Tom to process, looking down at the puddle of clear fluid on the floor and damp patch on her plaid bottoms while it was Y/n’s turn to look upon his it utter disbelief at his stupidity.

“Oh shit shitshitshitshitshitshit!!!!” His words grew with increased volume and place whilst he stayed frozen, his arms reaching out lightly toward Y/n without touching her though. “What do we do?!”

He of course had revised repeatedly and extensively what he was supposed to do when this happened - yet in the moment all knowledge and planning evaporated from his mind. Now wasn’t the time for taking the mick of her terrified fiancé though, Y/n was too blinded by pain as she leaned on the dresser.

“Get the-ah FUCKING hell - phone we need to time them and phone the … the-MIDWIFE.” It was hard to direct a frantic and terrified man when one feels as though her insides are collapsing in on themselves.

Tom gulped, nodding shakily, whilst trying to take deep breaths because although he was fucking terrified it wasn’t him that was giving birth. He had to step up now.

It took barely 10 minutes from the midwife picking up to a frantic Tom for her to assess that they needed to get into the hospital asap. During the pregnancy, all of Tom’s rich friends had recommended paying for a private hospital like the ‘Portland hospital’. The idea was it was a much more luxurious and private experience - of course coming with a heavy price tag. For Tom money was not an issue, so he’d suggested to Y/n and met the strongest rejection of all his life. The NHS was by far the only choice in Y/n’s mind - of course it busier, a lot less serene and not as private; but if god forbid something did happen, that was where all the experts and resources were. The idea of being able to pay for better access to healthcare actually repulsed Y/n and everything she stood for… so in short Tom was met with a very blunt refusal.

Once they arrived on the ward, all it took was one look at Y/n’s inflated belly and the way her body was squirming in the wheelchair Tom was pushing, whilst laden with the baby bags they’d had packed and prepared for weeks, for the pair to be rushed into a side room. After an intense 20 minutes of getting Y/n settled, getting her full medical history and inspection of her vagina the hmidwife’s head popped up from between her legs with a kind smile. She explained in a calming and gentle tone that Y/n was 5 cms dilated and had got to that point fast, yet now things looked to be slowing down a bit. With final words of advice of try to relax she left the pair to it.

They both looked at each other, a matching expression of confusion and relative terror blatantly clear in both their eyes. It had them both burst out laughing, if Y/n then scowled at the pain that shot through her side.

“This is really happening huh?” Tom murmured as he rounded the bed to gently run his hands through her sticky hair.

“I don’t know unless you really do want me to postpone their arrival for a short while?” Tom rolled his eyes and shook his head, although not really able to surpress the chuckle at his finances humour - even if it was at his expense.

“Glad to see you can still be as sarcastic as ever.” He laughed but before she could reply another wave of contractions hit making her instead just scream - grabbing his hand so tightly Tom was certain a bone or two were crushed in the process.

It was another hour or two of the same traumatic sight of watching the women he loved more than anything in the world be in such extreme pain. God knows how his appreciate for his mother grew in that moment - she had had four kids overall, two of them twins! Tom dared to think of the scenes in that room of twin brothers birth. Having to deal with both Sam and Harrys large heads…

Harrison had arrived in the meantime, he was to be the child’s godfather and Y/n was more than happy to have him there - even if it was more of a support to Tom than Y/n. Quite expectantly though, he was just as terrified and useless as Tom - so instead of having one idiot to deal with, the midwives now had double trouble of terrified men.

And yet after another 1 hour or so Y/n was being told to make one final push. Baring down on the gas and air tube, Y/n squeezed her eyes shut together whilst simultaneously contracting every muscle in her body with what little energy she had left. Hearing Tom and Harrisons words of encouragement; the midwifes orders and her own long and continuous scream, Y/n pushed with all she had. It was excruciating and torturous yet she kept going until the most beautiful sound was the only thing left reverberating round the room.

Her babies cry.

Tom looked at the scene in awe, feeling an almost out of body experience as the midwife unfolded from her position leant over the bed looking up to Tom.

“Do you want to cut the cord Dad?” Releasing a breathy laugh, tears collecting in his eyes he looked down at Y/n. She looked a mess - hair flying all over the place; sweaty sheen and a ruined look on her face; panting hard as she caught her breath. But to Tom? Never had he seen her look more beautiful, especially when she managed a small smile, nodding encouragingly at him. So he moved round to the end of the bed as the nurse motioned, while Harrison squeezed Y/n’s shoulder with the proudest look on his face.

It was the first time Tom had ever seen his child. And really, seeing a wrinkly little pink thing covered in all sorts of gunge - it shouldn’t be such a magical moment. But here he was, a single tear escaping over his lower lashes at the sight of them wriggling about. The midwife gave him a second, before gently handing him the medical scissors and directing him as to what to do. Once done, the lady announced the room it was a beautiful baby girl.

The next hour or so was a bit of a blur, the whole situation felt extremely surreal to everyone - but perhaps most to Y/n. Although the baby was premature the doctors had checked and were confident was perfectly healthy, so after both Y/n and Tom having their turn holding her (Tom finally got his real skin to skin time) they brought in a little incubator where she could rest while Y/n was recovering. Due to her prematurity, as a safety net, the doctors did want to keep the baby girl in overnight for observation, which meant the whole party would be staying too.

Y/n loved nothing more than watching Tom and Haz with their baby. The way they delicately cradled her in their strong arms and the way their eyes softened so inexplicably. Y/n swore that had she not just pushed a watermelon sized human out her vagina, the way Tom looked while holding their daughter would make her pregnant all over again.

“I still can’t believe you two created a real life human.” Harrison mused while standing with the baby girl in his arms, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he watched her sleep soundly.

“To be fair it was mainly Y/n” Tom laughed as he squeezed Y/n’s hand (wincing internally as it hurt his already injured hand - Y/n had an almost death grip)

“Oh no credit where credits due… he was involved for a whole 3 minutes or so.” Harrison snorted and Tom scowled at her, yet her cheeky if exhausted grin instantly erased any annoyance.

“Don’t make sexual jokes in front of our child!” He retorted, Harrison still laughing at his friend. Haz loved Y/n too - she made Tom a better version of himself. And now, she’d made him a dad.

**triggering part starts here

After all the excitement of the early morning it was more than fair to say Y/n was shattered, Tom not doing much better. So after a little bit, Tom joined Y/n on the bed and they instantly fell asleep to the light beeping of their babies heart monitor. Harrison stayed in the arm chair in the corner of the room, wheeling the little incubator right in front of him to just stare at the little girl. He had been texting Tom’s family too, giving them details of when they’d be allowed to come and meet the little one, who had just woken up to all Tom’s frantic texts from the night before.

Eventually though he was ped ousnapt of his happy daze, looking over to the bed and seeing Tom groan as he shifted on the mattress that was technically only spacious enough for one.

“You good mate?” Harrison spoke in a low voice, keen not to disturb either the baby of Y/n - she had earned a bit of peace. Tom just mumbled in response, rubbing his eyes as he sat up before letting out a deeper groan.

“-hat the fuck” Tom lifted up the blanket covering them both as Harrison looked on inquisitively. But then Tom leapt off the bed, started violently shouting Y/n as he shook her in a look of desperation. It was violent and harsh, Harrison was horrified as he immediately stood up in an action to pull Tom off her.

“Tom what are you-“

“Get help Haz.” Tom turned around to look at Haz, only at which point could the blonde haired boy make out why Tom looked so insane. Because his trousers, and the bedsheets that were now not hidden by the blankets, was covered in a red sticky substance. Jaw dropping, Haz slalomed round the incubator to stand at the foot of the bed.

It honestly looked like a horror scene. Y/n’s lower half was completely saturated in a bright red liquid that slowly was creeping further and further through the sheets. Her face looked pale, Haz cursing himself for not noticing earlier and her breathing… it looked so slow it was barely noticeable. The silence was only endured for a few moments, before Tom turned back to violently shaking the dead weight below him yelling her name repeatedly and frantically.

As soon as the alarm was raised more and more staff piled into the room, each one carrying a new level of importance and seniority - instantly taking control of the room and shouting orders. Tom had long since been pulled away from the bed by a nurse, who was trying to speak to him and calm him down, but was completely ignored as he focused on the scene over their shoulder.

“Looking like a primary PP bleed but she’s lost at least 3 pints already…. Somone bleep the aenestists and lets get moving to the OR please!.. We’ll need bloods crossmatch 5 units….”

Tom heard to the controlled sense of urgency in the lead doctors voice and he felt as though his heart was being torn straight from his chest. Harrison took over from the nurse, half restraining - half hugging him as the nurse ushered them completely out the room. Shouting over Tom’s desperate pleas to let the doctors do their thing. He fought hard against Harrison but ultimately his hold was enough to keep him back, the two watching from he corridor as Y/n’s bed was wheeled rapidly out the room - what seemed like at least 12 staff members bustling after it.

Harrison knew it was hopeless to try and talk to Tom, as he paced up and down the ‘relatives room’ the two had been confined to. They didn’t have a clue what was going on, no-one seemed to want to tell them - making the worst case option appear the most likeliest in Harrison’s head. A nurse had said the baby, as yet unnamed, had been taken down the neonatal unit so that it was one thing less for them to worry about ; but refused to say anything about Y/n, saying a doctor would come and explain soon.

It must’ve been 20 mins, even if to the two men it felt like a lifetime, when a round and short, greying man with big black rimmed rectangular glasses entered the room. Tom was too in his own head to even notice, pacing up and down the room while constantly running a hand through his hair as he tried to keep his breath in regular time - even if his brain was on overdrive. It took Harrison calling his name twice to make him snap out of it, looking up with desperate pleading eyes to notice the stout man, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“Are you Mrs y/L/n’s husband?”

“Fiance”

“I’m Dr Webber the consultant gynaecologist, shall we take a seat sir?” Tom stayed rigid, standing opposite him in an offensive manner.

“She’s dead isn’t she?” At Tom’s cold words, Haz’s breath halted in his chest. It had been what they’d both been thinking, of course, it was natural when you see someone with more blood out their body than inside it. The doctor seemed a little shocked at his frankness, pressing his lips together as he let out a sigh.

“No sir she’s not but she is very very unwell. Please, let’s sit down so we can talk about it because I understand it’s a lot to take in.” It took a couple of movements of Tom stood frozen staring but Dr Webber held firm, waiting until Tom took a seat next to Haz before he moved - drawing a chair from across the room so he could face both men.

“First off I’m sorry you were removed from the room and put in here for so long but these situations are incredibly hard and to get Y/n the best care we needed the whole room.”

“Doctor I just… I just need to know what’s going on.” He couldn’t deal with the state of unknowing, Tom was going insane, he didn’t care for the small talk.

“Sorry right, so what we think happened was your fiancé developed a condition called ‘placental accreta’. In simple terms, a bit of the placenta is stuck in the uterus and causes bleeding.”

“That much bleeding?” Haz couldn’t help himself from butting in, he knew this wasn’t really his place, that he was just being there for Tom. But at the same time that was his godchilds mum, it mattered.

“Honestly? Usually not, Y/n had very severe bleed… So she has been taken in for surgery, where the very talented surgeons are trying patch up the affected blood vessels. I’m afraid at this point that’s all I can really say.”

“So… she’s going to be okay?” It was desperate plea for something that, even if Tom wouldn’t admit, he didn’t really believe - it seemed as if none of the three in the room did.

“It’s not that easy I’m afraid. Assuming the surgeons can stabilise the bleeding and fix it…. with blood loss like she has suffered we… we don’t know what the effects of that will be. We tried to prevent as much damage to her brain and body as possible with transfusing blood into her and it was good that she was in hospital so could get treatment almost immediately…. But I’m afraid it’s simply too early to say. The first hurdle is going to be getting her out of surgery safely, only then can we deal with whatever happens next.”

Tom had so many emotions flashing through his head. He knew the doctor was trying to go slow to make the information a little more digestible but it was all so bloody incomprehensible. So when the greying man asked both men if they had any questions, neither took up his offer. Surely they both would after hours of processing and analysing but for right now? They were stunned into silence.

“Okay sir, now I hope you don’t mind me saying this but it really is important for you to hear. You are now a father, as Y/n is a mother. This situation is never easy but as a first time dad I need you to be aware that now your fiancé can’t be your only priority. We are all here to support you but please, just remember that.”

Harrison was so glad the doctor had said that, it was so completely true - yet Haz knew he didn’t have enough power to have said it to Tom. The whole thing was impossible and at the centre was an innocent, beautiful but totally dependant baby.

“What happens now then?” Haz had to ask on behalf of his friend, who was now completely overwhelmed. Dr Webber sighed, leaning back and rubbing his knees before answering.

“If the surgery is successful it’ll be at a best estimate two hours before we will have news for you , then she will be taken into intensive care where everything else would be assessed and further investigations would happen. You can both stay here or go get food, maybe go down and see the baby in the neonatal ICU? I personally promise that as soon as any of us get any news you will be the first to know.”

He was met with the sort of silence that makes you shiver. Sighing heavily, the doctor rubbed his knees, apparently preparing to leave. “This possibly one of the worst case scenarios that could’ve happened but Y/n is in the best hands and we will do everything for her. If you do think of anything you want clarification on, grab one of the nurses and they’ll come and find me.”

And then he left.

The room was deathly silent. Harrison couldn’t dare to look over at Tom - he knew what he would see and honestly seeing Tom like that would only make it worse. God knows how long they sat in those plastic lined, lightly padded hospital chairs. Both in silence. Just thinking… or more like worrying… or more like dreading. It was Tom who actually broke the silence first, his voice barely audible but still the meaning was crisp and clear.

“I can’t do it Haz” For the first time since the doctor was with them, Harrison looked at Tom, catching him directly in the eye. That hurt… Tom’s eyes looked so, so… hopeless. He knew what his broken friend was saying, but honestly Haz didn’t want to hear it so he did not respond. That didn’t stop Tom though, he continued. “I can’t do it. … I-I can’t be a dad without her… I just can’t.”

What the hell was Harrison supposed to say? There wasn’t really a guidebook to this situation. He was clueless. So, cautiously Harrison just leaned over, wrapping his arms round Tom as he all but collapsed into his friends chest. Tom was sobbing harshly as Harrison looked up at the ageing ceiling tiles, trying to surpress his own emotions because now clearly wasn’t about him.

“You can Tom… you have to.” His friend didn’t respond, well apart from harsh sobs that racked his frame. And so Harrison just let Tom cry, folded awkwardly and uncomfortably over the arm rest of the chairs, occasionally yelling into his chest at the unjustness of the situation.

It wasn’t fair. But it had still happened. And there was still a baby girl by herself downstairs.

//////

is this okay or too much? I won't write another part if generally people think its a bit too dark!!!!

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #tom holland x y/n #Tom Holland angst #angsty

270 notes · View notes

astoryinred · 3 years

Text

"Trese" and the truth in the fiction

In short: why the actual monsters in Trese don't have horns, wings, or summoning rituals

Finally the Netflix anime adaptation of the Filipino graphic novel/comics series "Trese" has dropped. It is available in several languages such as English, Filipino, Japanese, Spanish...just to name a few. It is not a perfect work, both in technical terms as well as an adaptation of the source material, but it is worth a watch. Go watch it. Please.

That being said, there is so much to unpack about the series, and I do not mean in terms of the voice-acting and the ethnicities of the persons involved, or just how crunched together the writing is. I will leave that to the critics. What I am writing here is a view as to the real life truths woven into the horror/supernatural threads of the "Trese" episodes, and why these are important. It's because for a lot of people encountering "Trese" at this point, the actual every day monsters of the tale (or at least of the first 4 episodes) are even more distant than the aswangs, tikbalangs, nunos and other supernatural beings that populate the anime.

This will go into spoilers below the cut

Episode 1: The series opens with a train stopping right near the "Guadalupe Station", and some of its passengers being attacked by aswang as they walk along the railroad tracks. During the course of investigating this and another case (that of a ghost murdered on Balete Drive), Alexandra Trese learns that other spirits using this train line have recently perished in a fire or have also been murdered by aswang in league with a politician.

The squatter/informal settler community mentioned in this episode is based on a real one. That area has gone up in flames from accidental and not so accidental fires over the past few decades. Some of the settlers have moved on, but a good many have stubbornly stuck around despite the land being eyed by a large property developer. That area is a symptom of the inequality that plagues that particular part of the metropolis, since it is only less than a mile away from some of the country's swankiest gated subdivisions. While the powers that be are (probably) not involved in selling anyone for meat, they still have a long way to go to address the woes of that community when it is not election season.

As for the other murder in the episode? There have been several cases of women associated with or married to prominent politicians who have died in mysterious circumstances, with some of these deaths ruled as suicide. In many cases, the truth has been hushed up, or simply swept under the rug.

Episode 2: While Alexandra is pursuing the trail of a tikbalang running wild in the city, she also is called to investigate a mysterious series of electrocutions in a gated village. Along the way she discovers that this is a form of human sacrifice to the bagyons manning the electricity providers of the city.

As reprehensible as the bagyons are, what is truly sickening is the seeming indifference of the people in Livewell Village. It's mentioned more in the comics (but also given a line or two of exposition here by the Nuno) that the people regularly offer an outsider, usually a skilled worker in charge of maintenance, to ensure that the bagyon will bless them. In real life there is the callousness that some people exhibit towards essential workers such as yes, repairmen and electricians who have to endure heights and storms just to ensure the "comfort" of consumers. Although the Philippines isn't a country crawling with litiginous folk and "Karens", there are enough of this sort to make essential workers' lives miserable on a daily basis.

Episode 3: This is a difficult one, both in the comics and the anime. One of Trese's cases leads her to cross paths with an actress named Nova, who is later revealed to have had her child left to die (hence making her a target for a specific type of monster). Nova's story is admittedly not easy to deal with and may be considered incredulous, but there are two important contexts to remember when watching it.

The first is that abortion is still illegal throughout the Philippines. It cannot be legally offered by any clinic or medical practitioner. There are clandestine alternatives available, but at a steep price.

That being said, most Filipinos regardless of where they stand on the abortion issue will still consider the abandonment or murder of an infant to be beyond the pale. Yet this does happen. Every month one can expect to read a story or two of babies being tossed in the trash or left in bathrooms---and those are just the stories that make it to the press. There have been exposes about mothers who have sold off their infants to "adopters" willing to pay thousands of pesos or dollars for an under the table transfer of custody. These happen because of desperation, poverty, and lack of resources to support mothers. Maternity leave is only up to 120 days here in most cases, and there are few resources to support mothers with PPD, mothers abandoned by their partners, or those with just too many mouths to feed. Questions of "bodily autonomy" are not first and foremost in the mind of many women who do the worst to their newborns; the question is food on the table for the next day or the day after. Survival is key. Not independence or empowerment.

With these in mind, it is not surprising that Nova is considered one of the most disturbing and reprehensible characters in this episode. From what we see, her choice of abandoning her child stems from vanity and pursuit of a glamorous career. We can see that this is not because she would be out on the streets if she had a child to care for, or because she was escaping something. It's just portrayed as pure selfishness.

It is interesting that Nova is introduced here almost as a juxtaposition to another mother, Ramona. Ramona, the mother of Crispin and Basilio, is an armed insurgent who engages in a ritual to avenge herself on the military men who forced her to murder her own comrades. It is also implied earlier in the season that it was not just murder involved, but that Ramona had also been a "prize" given to the soldiers who captured her. And yes in this context, it can also mean rape. The Armed Forces of the Philippines does not have a shining record when it comes to its treatment of women dissidents and prisoners. This backstory does not justify what Ramona does for the remainder of her screentime, but it does show why she has absolutely no sympathy or mercy to give to anyone outside of her two children. She is part of a cycle of killing that makes any peaceful resolution of the insurgency in the Philippines so difficult to achieve. Both sides behave abominably, and civillians do get caught in the crossfire (or explosions).

Episode 4: Much of this episode revolves around the events in and surrounding a certain police station located near a large public cemetery. We see that the police chief Captain Guerrero has his hands full with cases and keeping his subordinates in line. The cops in the precinct range from the innocent apparent newcomer Tapia to the more stereotypical "asshole" cops Reyes and company. Later it is discovered that the bodies apparently "stolen" from the graves are resurrected zombies who are being directed to attack the station for a specific reason...and it has to do with how the police run their often bloody operations.

The real life neighborhoods surrounding the cemetery have seen their share of violence and "extra judicial killings". In some houses there are still candles and placards calling for justice for family members killed in raids or accused of having been drug suspects (almost a death sentence in the Philippines 2016 onwards). Eyewitnesses and CCTV footage show members of the police force taking part in these raids and clandestine operations. The worst part? The neighborhoods surrounding that particular cemetery haven't even seen the worst of it. Other disadvantaged communities in the north of the metropolis have seen even more deaths of this sort...with some of the deaths being those of children. Google the name of Kian delos Santos as a test case. Kian's case was one of the few to have extended media coverage, and even then the resolution has been rather wanting.

It is tempting to go into the "all cops are bastards" line of thought with this episode, but I do like how Captain Guerrero is forced to interact with someone who he is trying to save in the station, since as it turns out this person has recently lost a family member to this form of senseless murder. Captain Guerrero and the audience are led to remember that these victims have names. They had families. They had lives. They are more than body counts and statistics. That scene is one of the most humanizing of the series, and shows that while not all cops are bastards, there is enough rot in the institution to make it a problem.

Episodes 5-6: I would go more into Episodes 5 and 6, but those deserve a whole new treatment into the nature of truth, compromise, and even gaslighting (even I am not sure how much of a certain character's narrative is true, and how much is just meant to confuse Alexandra with regard to what she knows of her father). The context she does face before those harrowing revelations is a very real one though: things going wrong in a penitentiary.

The penal system of the Philippines is alarmingly punitive and full of inequities. Privileged inmates like politicians do receive special treatment (including media coverage and becoming leaders of factions) while less privileged inmates languish and must struggle to survive the brutal social hiearchy in some institutions. And yes it has happened that inmates have been sent out to do "jobs" of murder and arson in the outside world, often being snuck in and out. A movie that tackles this aspect better is "OTJ (On the Job)" directed by Erik Matti. That one will keep you up at night.

The ending of Episode 6 is rather ambiguous, and it remains to be seen what Alexandra really experienced during her trials prior to becoming a detective, and what her father really did to her and her sibling. We'll have to wait for another season to get to the bottom of that. But if the anime will continue to draw from the comics themselves for stories/case files, we can count on seeing more societal demons and baddies alongside the supernatural ones. And those are the villains that Alexandra Trese cannot just readily beat; it will take a heck lot more than a babaylan na mandirigma to handle those!

#trese #tw:infanticide #tw:gore #tw:abortion #tw:horror #tw: suicide #tw: implied rape

125 notes · View notes

et-dah · 4 years

Text

Reacting to MC Complimenting Them

this is very self-indulgent😌😌

anyway, the MC is written as gender-neutral “you” and it’s kinda long but i hope you enjoy reading this!💕

Mammon

Oh, this boy lives for your compliments.

It’s not like he’s never gotten a compliment before. Usually though the flattery is only because someone is trying to get something from him or it’s spoken sarcastically to mock him.

So, when you compliment him, his first response it to narrow his eyes at you, confusion flits across his face as he tries to see what it is you want.

Then he sees the look in your eyes and the lack of mocking tone, and he realizes you’re being sincere with your praise.

His eyes widen, disbelief and surprise fills him, heat spread to the tip of his ears and across his face.

“Wha– ya can’t just say somethin’ like that outta nowhere!”

No matter how many times you compliment him, he will always be flustered by it, cheeks darkening as he thanks you, softly giving you a compliment back.

You can see that he’s really happy about it; he can’t stop smiling the whole day! He’s got this goofy smile in his face as if he just won a lottery ticket. Your compliments are his confidence booster.

He’s not used to people saying nice things about him so he wants you to know that he’s very grateful for your kind words.

Expect some gifts and extra clinginess, he’ll want to spend even more time with you now.

Just, just praise him. Even something as simple as telling him that you like spending time with him will make him melt. Mammon craves validation.

Leviathan

Blush galore.

HIs brain short-circuited. Did you really say that about him? Him? He’s another that blushes easily, embarrassed eyes darting towards anything other than you, hands coming up to cover his face.

He’s taken aback, especially if you compliment him out of the blue, but he feels really happy.

Well, at least until his insecurities come creeping back into his head and then he’ll doubt the sincerity of your praise.

Is he sure that you meant to say that to him? Maybe you’re actually making fun of him. What if you only said it because you felt sorry for him? There’s no way you actually think he’s anything but a weird, yucky otaku. After all, there are lots of better demons, more talented than him, more interesting, more attractive than him.

That’s why he’s quick to say, “No, I’m not... I’m not really- There’s no way that what you say is true! Don’t make fun of me!”

You have to be patient with him, he can’t accept compliments at all, but you can help him to slowly break this bad habit of his. It’s hard for him to see his own value sometimes.

Over time, he’ll catch himself before he starts self-depreciating and after a while, he might even be brave enough to stutter out a compliment back to you.

“I think you look stunning... Not– not like that! Wait, I mean, yes like that but I– I mean–” ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

Please take mercy on this boy and stop him before he passes out from embarrassment.

Asmodeus

He’s used to getting compliments. He’s Asmodeus, the Avatar of Lust, the most beautiful being in all three realms. He’s gorgeous and amazing, he knows it, people also know it.

But you, oh, you just keep surprising him, don’t you?

Because he’s used to compliments about his looks, his mesmerizing eyes, his clothes, the softness of his skin, his smile, and so on...

However, you compliment him on his thoughtfulness, how you think he’s a great listener, that you love how he always seems to see the beauty in everything and everyone, that he’s a great friend, that he’s a very creative person, and he just–???

His flirty smile will turn softer, a touch bashful, and the look in his eyes will tell you that he’s surprised but very touched by your words because he rarely gets complimented on anything other than his appearance.

His heart feels like bursting out of his chest and he wants nothing more than to drown you in kisses and hug you close. He’s absolutely filled with adoration and love!

He’ll be quick to say something nice about you too, telling you how adorable you are, how you mean the world and more to him, and maybe he’ll even offer to show you how grateful he is for your kind words ;)

“Oh, sweetheart, you know just what to say! Compliments from you always make me happier than when other people say it. Come on, now it’s my time to show you just how much I appreciate you.”

Lucifer

He absolutely loves it whenever you compliment him. Your words feed into his pride and ego.

Your compliments make him stand straighter, chin tilted up a bit higher. It makes him very happy and satisfied to know that he has impressed you.

His reactions depend on where you give your compliments. If it’s in public, he’s very cool about it. He doesn’t want other people to know just how much your words affect him. The only indication that he’s actually really grateful for your compliments is in the way his gaze softens when it lands on you.

But it’s different when you’re in a more private settings where he can let his walls down for you and worry less about his reputations.

If you time your compliments right, you’ll be rewarded by the sight of his eyes widening in surprise and the tips of his ears turn bright red in record time.

You’ll notice the subtle blush that spreads across his cheeks and his smirk turns into something softer and he will look at you as if he’s wondering what he did to deserve you.

He’s falling more and more in love with you and he’ll show you just how much he appreciates your kind words. He’ll be softer around you for the few hours, taking a break from his work to spend more time with you, giving almost anything you ask for.

Although, be prepared to be complimented back with a more passionate praise. He will make you as flustered as you made him, if not more.

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me lucifer #rol writes

632 notes · View notes

milkybonya · 3 years

Text

In THE DaRk

order 004 for anon: large coconut milk tea (In THE DaRk by BOBBy) with regular tapioca pearls and fresh taro

Warnings: food mentions

Pairing: idol!Hui x delivery worker!reader

Summary: you deliver food to cube ent. and end up becoming friends with Hui, an idol who's at the peak of his career... but he finds himself falling for you even as his songs rise on the charts :")

Word count: like maybe 3k?

[a/n]: i love this request because i love this song and writing it while listening to the song on loop in the dark of my room just made me so happy? also i put wayyyy more effort into this than necessary and it turned out super long >.< i'm so sorry anonnie i hope you like itttt ahhh

Shine, you shine on my existence

Sure, Hui was an idol with a life of his own - especially now, during Shine promotions, that his group, PENTAGON, was blowing up. Yet he never failed to make time for you, because you were the light of his life.

As a hardworking idol who was always cooped up in his studio and skipping meals, his members encouraged him to at least order food. He was reluctant but eventually agreed, not wanting to make them worry.

That's where you came in: a delivery worker at a local restaurant not too far from Cube entertainment, Hui's company. A lot of people ordered from your restaurant to Cube, so you weren't surprised when a new order flashed on the iPad screen at your workplace.

"We've got another delivery, [y/n]," the worker at the front told you with a smile, walking to the back to tell the cooks what to prepare.

You tapped your feet against the ground, awaiting the order. Once it was prepared, you carefully placed it in your delivery bag, fastened it to your bike and off you went, wearing a helmet of course.

The gentle breeze was enough to cheer you up and give you energy, despite the scene around you being full of traffic and slightly bleak.

Once you arrived, the guards let you in without even checking your workplace ID this time, recognizing you as a trusted delivery person.

You made your way up to the floor listed on the order, roaming through countless hallways until you finally found the right room. Judging by the area and the doors, it seemed to be full of studios.

The person who ordered this must be working hard, you thought to yourself.

Suddenly, you got an urge to leave a note, wishing the person well. You took out a scrap piece of paper and a pen that you always had handy, your heart racing and your hands shaking at the thought of doing this. You were excited at the idea of the person being happy to see such a cheerful note...

I hope you enjoy this meal and that it gives you enough energy to keep working hard :) Go for it!

After neatly placing the food and note at the door, you knocked and walked away, not wanting to bother the person. Even though you didn't turn your back, you heard the door open a few seconds later.

"Thank you!" a voice echoed through the hall.

You turned quickly to say ‘you’re welcome’ in response and caught a glimpse of what seemed to be a young idol hard at work. His hair was messy and he had dark circles under his eyes, but his mismatches clothes and bright smile were quite cute.

You thought that would be the last you’d see of him, but from that day onwards, he always ordered food from your restaurant at the same time: 2:09pm. Why so specific? You weren’t sure, but that’s how it was, and you being the only delivery worker at your restaurant meant that it would always be you taking the food to him.

The second time you went, you were surprised to see a note waiting on the door for you.

Thank you for your cheerful message... I’ll do my best to work harder!

It made you smile and you decided to leave another note with his order, this time just asking him what his favourite side dishes were so you could tell the cooks to put more of those in next time. Instead of him leaving a note for you with the response, though, Hui decided to text you this time so he wouldn't have to wait for you to make another delivery before you could see his response.

Unknown: This is Hui! Ah, I ordered food from you at 2:09pm? I'm not really picky on side dishes, but one of my members likes kimchi, so could you make sure to leave more of that for me?

You: sure, of course! but how did you get my number?

Hardworking Hui: Ah, sorry! It was on the app since you're the delivery worker... for me to contact you in case you get lost? I'm sorry!

You: No, that's okay! i just wanted to be sure ^^

So after that day, you made sure Hui always got extra kimchi with his order. He would always greet you at the door of his studio, quickly asking about your day and how you were doing. Truthfully, he actually wanted to ask you to come inside so he could talk with you some more, because the two of you would always get an interesting conversation going before you declared you had to leave.

Since he was too shy to ask you in person, he texted you, instead.

Hardworking Hui: could you get the rest of the day off after delivering my order today?

You: why?

Hardworking Hui: so you can eat with me? if that's okay? or just take an hour off!

You: ...

You: Only if you pay for my food :P

Hardworking Hui: deal

So that day, you asked your manager for the hour off from 2:30pm to 3:30pm. She agreed, knowing that you always work hard and deserve a break.

Showing up to Hui's studio with his usual order and some food for yourself in your hands, you knocked a little nervously this time, knowing that this wouldn't just be a delivery, but a whole... hang out? Type of thing?

Hui had made sure to clean his studio to the best of his ability, making sure that there was another comfy chair for you to sit on and that the room didn't smell bad or anything. He lit a couple of candles and vacuumed the place so there would be no dust. When you knocked on the door, he jumped out of his seat with excitement, immediately opening it.

"Hi! Come in," he said, holding the door open so you could step inside. Seeing the cosy, dimly lit space left you in awe.

"It's so cool to see where you've been working away for all this time," you said, sitting down on a chair and putting the food down.

"Yeah... sometimes I get tired of it, but it's home," Hui said, sitting on his studio chair and opening up the food.

"Ah... where's the kimchi?" Hui asked, pointing at all the dishes.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I told the cook to include my favourite side dish too, but he must have just replaced the kimchi with this instead, I'm so sorry!"

Hui laughed, shaking his head.

"It's completely fine!" he said, handing you your favourite side dish.

As the two of you began eating, you were able to get to know each other more as you spoke and asked each other questions. Even though it was a little silly asking for each other's favourite colours and seasons, it was a lot of fun, and the two of you turned out to have a lot in common.

Tears are erased by my emotions / Add, add colour to the world

After that day, you weren't just a delivery worker for Hui, and he wasn't just a customer to you. The two of you became close friends, attending the concerts of your favourite artists together. Hui would joke and say that he was attending for work reasons, trying to gain musical inspiration, while you had no real reason to be there. You'd slap his shoulder lightly, telling him to watch his words while he'd laugh at your reaction.

Even though his work was stressful at times, it was days like those that seemed to make him cry in reverse, if that was even possible? You showed up and turned his world around, adding colour onto his black and white canvas.

His members even told him that he seemed more cheerful and energetic despite still working hard in the studio, and Hui even told you that his songwriting process seemed to be running more smoothly.

"I'm so glad we became friends," he told you, leaning his head on your shoulder one day as the two of you sat on a park bench. You smiled, strongly agreeing with him in your own heart.

But do you remember when I mentioned Shine promotions at the beginning of this? Well, let's skip forward to that point.

By then, you had seen Hui and his group perform quite a few times, whether it was at concerts, music shows or even on the TV at your home. You were incredibly proud of him and wanted nothing but for him to succeed.

Every time Hui found you in the crowd at any of his live performances, he'd feel some kind of crazy adrenaline rush as all of his tiredness just seemed to magically disappear. He'd perform as if rent was due just because you gave him the energy to do so.

"Was [y/n] watching us again?" Hyunggu asked backstage after another performance for Shine ended safely.

"Yeah, I saw them there!" Hongseok confirmed.

"Plus, you can tell by the way Hui is acting," Yuto laughed, nodding towards Hui who was frantically texting you asking you if you'd left completely.

You told him you were still at the venue, and he begged you to come backstage. When you arrived, you greeted all of the Pentaboys, who adored you almost as much as Hui did, before joining Hui at his makeup table. You greeted the makeup artist too, out of respect, before asking Hui why he needed to see you so urgently.

"We might win today... I just wanted you to be by my side as good luck," he explained, a clearly worried expression on his face.

It was a shock to you that despite Shine doing so well on the charts, Pentagon still had not gotten their first win, but you knew they were an amazing group, regardless.

What you doing now? What's your plan now?

You placed your hand on top of Hui's, which rested on his own thigh.

"Hui, I know you haven't been getting all the wins you've been expecting, but we can't deny that this song is absolutely a bop and you have all been killing it!" you told him with a smile.

You couldn't tell whether or not your words had any sort of effect on him because he was looking down, but you hoped they at least didn't make him feel worse.

The rest of the Pentaboys cheered hearing your words though, feeling energized at your honest observation.

Hui was looking down because his stomach was tied in knots at the feeling of your hand on his. It was something he'd never felt before... butterflies? He tried to shrug it off but he couldn't stop wondering about your intentions... did you place your hand over his for a reason? What were you trying to tell him? What were you planning?

Inside my brain, after making a place for you / You make it impossible for me to sleep

That night, Hui still couldn't stop thinking about your simple gesture. You didn't mean anything by it, right? It was just a friend comforting a friend... the two of you had been friends for a while now, so why was he thinking into this so much?

As feelings of sleepiness took over, he drowsily wondered what it would be like to hold your hand rather than to just have his hand underneath yours. What would it be like to be held by you?

The next day, with more promotions ahead, you made sure to send Hui a text of good luck. You wouldn't be able to watch from the live audience that day, since you had work and deliveries to carry out, but you still wanted him to know that you were thinking of him.

Hui couldn't stop staring at your message of good luck for the whole day, pressing his finger on the heart emoji that you added at the end of your message.

"Hui hyung, are you reading something?" Wooseok asked the leader, sitting beside him on the sofa in the waiting room.

"Huh? N-no," Hui quickly said with a laugh, tucking his phone away.

"You've been staring at your phone all day... what is it, is it a fun webtoon?"

"No, no! Don't worry about it," Hui laughed, ruffling the tall boy's hair.

Wooseok whined, yelling about how the stylist just did his hair. Meanwhile, Hui's heart was racing. Why had he been staring at your text message all day?

You: I'm thinking of you today, Hui! Go get em, good luck <3

Are you thinking of me in this dawn? / I wish there was a continuous portal from my room to yours

Again, that night, Hui couldn't stop thinking about you. This time, it was about the message you'd sent him. He still had it open and was staring at it. He wondered if, when you said you were thinking of him, did that mean you were thinking of him right then and there too? At the same time when he was thinking about you?

Were your sleepless thoughts filled with him, just like his were filled with you-?

Ring ring. Ring ring.

Shit.

He'd been staring at your text and holding his phone so tightly that he accidentally pressed the call icon next to your name.

"Hello?" you answered sleepily. It was 3am and you had been asleep.

"H-hello? [y/n]?"

"Yes, Hui, what is it?"

"I uh..."

He desperately tried to think of an excuse for calling you, any reason-

"I wish there was a portal that went directly from my room to yours."

Really, Hui? Was that the best thing you could think of?

His heart raced and he smiled as he heard your laugh on the other end. He didn't realize he'd balled his other hand into a fist until your laughter made him calm down.

"What are you saying, Hui?"

"I miss you..." he mumbled.

Despite being sleepy, his words still made you nervous. Your heart raced and you wondered what he was trying to tell you.

"I m-miss you too," you croaked out.

"Really?" Hui asked you, sitting up in bed.

"Yeah, really," you said, laughing. It wasn't a lie, either. You'd been watching all of his performances on your phone that day while working, almost falling off your bike because you were that invested. In him.

"Do you wanna meet up now?"

"Now?" you spluttered.

"Yeah... by the Han River?"

You paused for a while before answering.

"Let's do it."

Even if I breathe in the cold air / It feels sweet, so sweet

"AHHH IT'S SO COOOOLD!" Hui yelled into the night air, rubbing his arms and running around in circles beside you.

"Here, take my coat," you said, but instead just wrapping your arms around him.

Hui tensed up, wondering if your arm that was wrapped around his chest could feel his heartbeat.

"W-what are you doing?" he asked.

"Providing you with warmth," you said.

You also felt butterflies stirring within you, realizing that maybe you saw Hui as more than just a friend. Yet you shrugged it off, telling yourself that Hui was an idol and you were just a delivery worker.

You can't know my pathetic feelings / Even if I've confessed a hundred times inside my brain / I'm invisible to you

Hui stayed quiet, closing his eyes tightly and enjoying the feeling of being in your arms on this cold night. He knew this embrace wouldn't last and that maybe it wouldn't happen again, because in his mind, he was invisible to you. Just a friend who you goofed around with, but all of your jokes made his heart rush.

The two of you ran around the grassy banks of Han River together, laughing into the night and chasing each other like kids. Each time Hui caught up to you, he'd wrap his small frame around you so tightly that it made you lose your breath. You told yourself it was just because you were running so hard, but it was definitely something else.

As the sun was beginning to rise and the two of you were finally in your homes, trying to get some sleep, Hui imagined what it would be like to confess to you. What if he confessed right there and then when you hugged him by the Han River? What if he told you how much he likes you and... what if you felt the same? What if you cupped his cheeks in your hands and kissed him right there as the river reflected the starlight from the sky...? What if Hui would drop his phone in shock but would kiss you back more passionately?

No, Hui. No.

If I ever want you to feel the same / That must be greedy, that'd probably be a chance to peek into heaven / 'Cause you are angel

There was no way any of that would ever happen. There was no way you would ever like him back, at least for Hui. You were way too good for him, an angel on this planet full of demons and sinners.

Little did he know that you were also squinting at the sun, struggling to get some sleep as you thought of the way Hui would press his face into your chest every time he caught up to you at the Han River as you chased each other for fun. His bright smile and gentle laughter made your heart feel like the Han River itself, gently flowing along but filled with such a refreshing feeling.

After another week of intense Shine promotions, Hui feeling all sorts of emotions as Shine continued to soar while his feelings for you also grew, it became unbearable. The two of you would talk late into the night, whether it was sending texts because Hui was busy working or whether it was phone calls. Hui thought about you every second of every day and always missed you a ton.

Please know that I like you / I just want to be there for the rest of your life

Hui asked you to meet him in his studio one evening, as he knew your work schedule and knew that you were free. You agreed, slightly confused as to how he was making time to meet with you despite being so busy.

"Hui, I'm here!" you sang, opening the door to his studio and finding him sitting there in his chair, looking especially cute as his hair was slightly ruffled and he wore a big, comfy hoodie.

"[y/n], I have to tell you something," he said, with a slightly sad smile.

"Yeah, what is it?"

You grew worried, but decided not to make a fuss over anything just yet.

"So, for some time now.... well, of course we've been good friends, and I don't want this to ruin that if you don't feel the same..."

He sighed mid-sentence.

"Gosh, I don't know why I'm rambling," he said with a laugh.

You instinctively laughed along.

"Well, [y/n]. I like you... a lot. I know it's pathetic for me to feel this way when I don't even deserve you, but-"

"You like me?" you cut him off.

Hui nodded in response, looking slightly red now.

Nervous and absolutely bewildered, you starting laughing to yourself, making Hui worry if he'd said something wrong.

"Hui, I... I like you too, what the hell?! And here I was thinking I was pathetic!"

"You're not pathetic at all!" Hui said, grinning widely and bright red in the face upon hearing your answer to his confession.

Both of you nervously smiled at each other for some time before Hui broke the silence.

"I know... it may be hard to date me... well no, it will be hard to date me since I'm an idol, but I promise I'll give this my everything. It's a given, because of how much I like you and how lucky I am for you to even date me-"

"I never said I was dating you," you joked.

"What?" Hui asked in shock.

"I'm joking! Hui, it's okay. We'll get through these difficulties together, whatever they may be," you said, holding half of his face in your right hand, stroking his cheek with your thumb.

Hui leaned into your touch, closing his eyes.

"You're right," he said, before turning his face and pressing his lips to your hand.

54 notes · View notes

all-my-love-for-harry · 4 years

Text

Celebrate you.

summary: Slowly, step by step, harry is becoming a dad.

word count: 1.9k

based on these requests:

“i legit am obsessed with your single mum series! can you do one where they all have a movie night? i think that would be sooo cute”

and

“Awwww now I’m thinking about Harry’s first Father’s Day with artimis. Thy make him his favorite food and gives harry the card he made for him 😭😭😭😭😭”

and

“for my shy little boy, what would harry’s first fathers day be like”

and

“Father’s Day gift for Harry from Artemis”

and

“Artemis celebrating Father’s Day with Harry”

a/n: had so many father’s day requests, sorry i took so long but here it is! send me some concepts revolving the pregnancy pls, i feel like we haven’t touched that subject!

you can find more of my shy little boy here

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

June, 2019.

It could be raining, there could be a storm, hell, the sky could be falling apart but Harry would always make it to Y/N’s house on Saturday, with his hands full of takeout and an overnight bag to spend the night with them.

Staying in on the weekend was never something Harry used to do before. However, now the thing he looked forward the most was quiet, relaxing quality time with his girlfriend and her son. For him, it was the domesticity of it all. It was the feeling of craving something all week around that when the time comes, you can’t get enough of it. To Harry, the thing he couldn’t get enough of was the little life he’s been building with Artemis and Y/N for the past year and so.

Nothing was able to wipe the smile off of his face as he drove to the Y/L/N’s household after a long, exhausting week of working on his new album. Harry has missed the last movie night due scheduled meetings he had in LA that he couldn’t cancel, so he was very excited to finally them again in real life, and not only through a screen.

“Harry, Harry, you’re here!” Artemis was the one who opened the door, chanting his name while hugging his longs legs.

“Artemis, I’ve told you to now open the door without me there.”

“It was Harry, mum. I saw him through the window.”

“Oh, so you were waiting for me?” Harry playfully pinched one of his cheeks, making him blush. “Hi, love. I missed ya.” The green eyed man smiled sweetly at the woman in front of him. She looked beautiful although she was just dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a shirt that was probably his. Her hair was up in a messy, high ponytail and the makeup she had on earlier was already wiped off. He looked down at the little blonde boy and saw he was in his pajamas already. “I bought Chinese this time, that okay?”

Y/N nodded, taking the takeout bags from him to bring them to the kitchen, not without giving Harry a little kiss on the lips before doing so. “It’s perfect. I missed you too.”

Once she was out of sight, Harry felt how someone pulled from his pants and when he looked down, Artemis was already looking at him with big, doe hazel eyes. “Can I get a hug?”

Harry’s heart melted. “Course you can. Always.” He took him in his arms and held him close to his chest, breathing in the vanilla essence of his shampoo. Hugging Artemis has become one of his favorite things in the whole world, and one of the things he wanted to do all the time. Harry walked towards the living room with Artemis still in his arms. “What are we watching tonight?”

“Can we watch Trollhunters?” He asked excitedly.

The older man chuckled, having already expected that answer. They binged watched the entire series a couple times and Artemis absolutely loved it every time, and who was Harry to say no to that adorable face?

“Harry?! Can you help me with these?” Y/N’s voice was heard from the kitchen. Harry got up from his seat and told Artemis to wait for them to bring the food so they could start with their movie night.

When the three of them were finally on the couch, Artemis being in the middle of both adults, they pressed play on the TV. Harry had his plane on his lap and was also holding Artemis’, the little boy being too busy on watching the television Harry had to grab his fork and feed him bites of the fried rice he knew he liked. Y/N just observed from the other side of the couch, a smile forming on her face. The two boys looked completely absorbed in their own little world and Harry looked like a pro feeding a five year old with one hand an eating his own food in the other.

Harry sensed Y/N’s stare and looked at her, he wiggled his eyebrows at her, making her giggle quietly. I love you, he mouthed before sighing contently. This was what he has been wanting to do all week. A night with no worries, no stress, something as mundane as watching television has become his favorite thing just because it was something he did with the two of them.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

The weekend passed by and soon Monday rolled in, which meant it was time to go back on their normal routines. To Y/N, her routine was wake up and make breakfast, then wake her boy up and make sure he was ready on time for her to drop him off at school then drive to work. She needed to make sure she left her office at the same time every day so she could go pick Artemis up from school in time.

What happened afterwards was variable. If Y/N had to give any conferences in her home office, she’d drop Artemis at her moms’ and go pick him up after she finished or if she was free for the day, they’d just chill at home.

This Monday wasn’t any different from any other. Y/N held Artemis’ hand as they walked down the hall of his school to get to her car and drive home. Artemis was telling her about his day as she strapped him on his car seat. “My teacher said this Sunday’s the day they celebrate daddies.”

To Y/N, it didn’t go unnoticed the way he said ‘they’ instead of ‘we’, and she felt how her heart fell to his stomach. The truth was, Artemis has never celebrated Father’s day, simply because there wasn’t no one he could celebrate with. Usually he wouldn’t mind, but Y/N knew it will as he grew older. She sighed, humming a response to him as she got in the driver’s seat.

“Can we do something that day?” He asked, Y/N looked at him through the rearview, trying to read his thoughts.

“What do you want to do, baby?” She said, hoping and praying it was something she was actually able to give him.

“Something for Harry.” At her boy’s words, Y/N almost crashed the damn car out of pure shock. It wasn’t a secret at all how much Artemis looked up to Harry, or how much the man adored her child, but perhaps it was a little soon to celebrate Father’s day with him.

Does Harry deserve it? Damn straight. He’s done more for Artemis than his biological father would ever do. Doctor appointments, nightmares, late night grocery shopping because the boy craved a candy it was only sold in the store in the other side of London, you name it. However, they haven’t been in that stage of their relationship yet, and Y/N was afraid it would overwhelm Harry.

The case was, Harry did deserve to be celebrated, not just the third Sunday of June every year, but all year around. The things he do, the love he held for Artemis… it was something worth to be celebrated. So Y/N sucked up her fears and insecurities and promised they would surprise Harry that Sunday.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

Y/N hasn’t done anything like this before. She has searched for ideas on Pinterest so they could make something special, but she still had no experience whatsoever. Usually, when in school children had to do a craft work for Father’s day, Artemis’ teacher would just put Y/N’s name on it. However, this year she had asked to put Harry’s name on it.

“Not daddy, not dad, not father. Just Harry.” The teacher verified, writing down on her notebook before looking up at Y/N.

She nervously played with her hands as she answered. “Just Harry, please.”

Turns out this year they made the kids make cards for their daddies, asking them to draw what they loved the most about them. Artemis didn’t let his mum see what he did back in his classroom, claiming Harry should be the first one to see it and Y/N was more than happy to obey.

Besides the card, Y/N has picked out a few other things for Harry, and also made sure to have all the ingredients to make his favorite food in her kitchen. Harry had stayed over, as usual. Artemis was so excited he almost blurted their plans to him twice, but Y/N was able to stop him.

On Sunday morning, Y/N woke up extra early and went out of bed trying to be as quiet as possible then walked down the hall to get her son, who was already awake and ready to run to her room where Harry was to wake him up.

“We have to make breakfast first, honey.” She told him before picking him up to take him to the kitchen. “We have to be quiet.” Artemis nodded rapidly from his seat on the island. “You’ll give him your card first then the others gifts we have, okay?”

Y/N cooked breakfast as fast as she could, knowing Harry would be awake and looking for them in no time. She placed the waffles with blueberries on top next to the plate with an omelet made with all the ingredients Harry liked such as dried tomatoes and mint. She could barely put the orange juice in a glass when Harry entered the kitchen still half asleep.

“Surprise!” Both Y/N and Artemis exclaimed with a big smile.

Harry opened his eyes in surprise, seeing the kitchen full of his favorite food, plus a couple of green balloons and gifts set on the counter. “What’s all of this?”

“It’s for you, Harry.” Artemis said, hopping off the kitchen island with the help of his mum. “I made this for you.”

Harry looked up at Y/N, who gave him an encouraging smile. He sat on one of the high chairs and pulled the small boy on his lap before opening the card he had in his hands.

“My teacher asked me to draw what I love about you. This is you with a rainbow suit because you like color, and you’re giving one of your concerts like the one mummy and I went to see one time.” Artemis explained, pointing out all the details of the card from his place on Harry’s lap.

Perhaps Artemis has drawn Harry with circles and sticks, and the ‘stage’ he was supposed to be standing on looked more like a square in the middle of the paper, but to Harry it was the most beautiful thing he has ever since in his entire life, and it brought tears to his eyes knowing Artemis has made this for him. His lip started trembling when he saw the little ‘I love you, Harry ☺❤’ at the bottom of the card. It was a messy handwrite, proper for a five year old, and it was that what made it so damn perfect.

“Today we’re celebrating you, Harry.” Y/N stepped in, wrapping her hands around his shoulders from behind and kissed his cheek. “We love you.”

“We love you, Harry!” Artemis said, joining the hug excitedly.

With a couple of tears rolling down his eyes and a heart that was ready to explode out of love and adoration for the two people that were standing there with him, he managed to let out a sincere, soft ‘I love you so much more’.

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

taglist!!

@myfavfanficsever @odetostep @la-cey @cock-a-doodely-doo @awkwardbullfrog @mellamolayla @moorgannn @bagtan-serendipity @awesomebooklover17 @finelineribs @sunnybusiness @beanholland @sweetenerstyle @cronias13 @vhsharry @maisley @seasidecrowbar @stylesfics-xx @autumnpauley20 @fineline-hs1 @stephaniemalvie @immajustreadwritereblog @jadert15 @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @abundanceofsoph @harrysthicccthighs

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles fluffy imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #dad!harry #stepdad!harry #harry styles au

729 notes · View notes

imagine-loki · 3 years

Text

You Have Heart

TITLE: You Have Heart CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 8/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine finding out that your soulmate is Loki and your very first kiss is interrupted by Thor shouting “Yeeessss”

RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 here

Loki beamed when you agreed to move in. The look only remained for a moment, but he seemed so open and relaxed in that moment when a childish grin plastered his face. He was relieved that you were moving in, that his soulmate would be safe. His expression quickly schooled from that childish grin to a more subdued look of relief. “Good,” he said and stood. “Shall we?” He asked and offered you his hand.

You placed your hand in his automatically, though you didn’t know what he meant. “Shall we what?” You asked as you let him haul you to your feet.

“We must go collect your belongings,” Loki informed you as if that were obvious. He glanced over at Stark. “You will deal with the tedious Midgardian moving customs, Anthony?” He was being extra polite to the billionaire. Which was only natural when he was asking a favor from Tony.

Tony nodded. “Yeah, of course, standard getting out of your lease, right?” He asked you.

You nodded, shocked by how fast this was moving. “Yeah, my lease isn’t up for months,” you agreed, not really wanting to pay for months of an apartment lease that you weren’t going to use.

“Jarvis? Get on it, would you?” Tony asked the AI. You knew of the AI, knew it controlled the tower and most of the back end of Stark’s company. You’d had yet to see it in action.

“Yes, sir,” Jarvis replied automatically.

Loki nodded his thanks to Stark, then looked to you. “Come, drotning. We will go collect your belongings while Stark sorts out the boring details,” he told you warmly and squeezed your hand. He was clearly intending on escorting you to pack you things and help you move them. Today. That was going to be a lot of work

“Loki, do we have to define ‘house arrest’ for you again?” Tony asked, clearly begging to be defenestrated again. Antagonizing Loki didn’t seem like the best idea.

“I will accompany him,” Thor spoke up quickly to diffuse the situation. Loki had already started to puff up like an indignant cat next to you. He clearly didn’t like being on house arrest. Not that you blamed him, but you definitely needed more information on this point later.

You had plenty of time and there was no reason to upset him.

But your list of things to ask Loki was getting rather long.

Loki huffed. “Very well. We will take the oaf with us. Does that appease the terms of your idiotic ‘house arrest’?” He grumbled, directing his grumbles at Stark and Cap. Apparently they were the ones who had decided he needed to be on house arrest.

Stark clearly wanted to say something snarky, but got elbowed hard in the ribs by Nat. Cap nodded. “Yes, you can go with Thor,” he agreed.

“The moving people will be there soon,” Tony agreed. You wondered how he had your address, but that was probably easy enough to find out with Jarvis the second he’d had your name. Or a face scan. Who knew?

It was only a couple minutes later when you and Nat were in the front seat of an SUV with the Asgardians in the back, driving to your apartment. Nat had insisted on driving since the Asgardians hadn’t learned yet. It was faster than walking and a better solution than taking public transit, so you’d accepted her offer.

You texted Soph while Nat drove, promising to call her later and explain things properly, but that yes, Loki was your soulmate. That was still something you were getting used to. So was Loki. You felt it in how he didn’t want to be out of your presence now that he’d finally found you. You understood that he’d been looking for his soulmate for centuries.

You arrived at your apartment and headed inside. You weren’t sure how you were going to pack anything when you didn’t have supplies to do so. Especially since all four of you could barely fit in your apartment.

Loki looked over your apartment. It was by no means clean, though you tried. It was hard when it was so small. You saw his disapproval at the small space. “You deserve so much better, drotning,” he informed you. “And you will have it at the tower,”

You tilted your head. “I deserve better? On what grounds?” You asked. You were just like any of the other 7 billion humans on this Earth. You didn’t think there was anything special about you. You hadn’t made any great accomplishments. You weren’t rich, famous, or had super powers. Well… not until that day.

Loki just gave you an incredulous look. “Because you are my soulmate,” he said as if that were the most obvious conclusion in the world. You deserved the absolute best because you were Loki’s soulmate. No other reason necessary.

Loki summoned boxes so you could box up the things you wanted to take with you immediately. After the essentials were packed away, he vanished them with more magic, seeming unconcerned about the power he was using to help you. Stark’s moving men came and boxed up the rest of your things. Your furniture was all going to storage, paid for by Stark. You didn’t mind, you were being provided nicer things in the tower. You had them take some of your stuff to storage as well as you wouldn’t need it all where you were going. Handmedown kitchen appliances weren’t necessary when you were going to be living in a place with a state of the art kitchen.

Soon, your apartment was empty, all the boxes taken away to either storage or the tower. It took a surprisingly short amount of time. Nat had taken inventory of your clothes while you were packing and said a shopping trip was in order soon. Apparently, you needed nice things for Tony’s parties and press conferences.

It was a whole lot to take in at once and you weren’t sure you had the brain cells left to cope without panicking.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #You Have Heart #Chapter 8 #nekoamamori

64 notes · View notes

itsmoonphobic · 3 years

Text

Phil's character and his life system on the DreamSMP won't leave me alone....Here is some interestin' facts I can't stop thinkin' about :)

We all know that the butcher army's number one target is Techno right? And they are planin' to get rid of him the fastest way possible by gatherin' information from people who interacted with him in order to find out where his current location is becouse nobody knows.Tubbo said that he expects posters to be hung up everywhere through L'manberg for propaganda,they want to gather as many people as they possibly can to be on their side against Technoblade,becouse together they are more affective.

So what would happen if the BA somehow reveals that Phil is in the possession of Techno's compass? That thing leads them straight towards his hideout in the north,without a doubt I think that the BA would immediately hurt/kill or hold Phil hostage in order to get the compass.Now if they actually decide to murder Phil,he would lose his only life becouse unlike the rest of the SMP Phil is stuck in the gamemode hardcore and he needs to play with a single canon life- while the other two lives he was meant to own were gifted to his eldest son Techno.

The thought of Phil dyin' to such a harsh reason like the government's revenge on his son is terrifyin' and truly heartbreakin'- I'm already scared for Phil and now long he will last before he loses his life,I don't want him to pass away this early into the new Arc.On one side,Ghostbur would finally have some spirit company from his father but both Tommy and most importantly Techno would be absolutely devastated and furious.I don't think that most of the players on the SMP are aware of the fact that Phil's life consists of only one chance at said life,they most likely believe he will just respawn and continue on with the rest of his lives- But that's not the case.

If he dies once it's all over- so to imagine that Phil gets killed becouse the BA requires the compass to track Techno down makes me really sad and also excited??We all know how much Techno cares for Phil,we know he would kill in order for his father,his only friend,to be safe.He has shown the overprotective nature he has around Phil's presence and we have also noticed how much of Techno's trust and loyalty rests on Phil's shoulders.Not only did his son give him a compass to always run to him in the need of help or anythin' really- but he practically opened his heart for him.Afterall,Techno did mention that he would give Phil the world if he desired so.

Now I already know the reaction we would get out of Techno if the BA or anyone really was dumb enough to try and go agaisnt Phil- It would end in mass genocide and complete destruction over the whole server.Techno might be in retirement right now,takin' a small break from his violent and bloodthirsty nature,but I wholeheartedly know that the moment somebody even lays a single finger on Phil it's already too late and pretty much over for them. Techno would,without hesitation,ruin them and make their life a livin' definition of a nightmare you can't wake up from. He would go so far as to destroy everyone and everythin' in his path to avenge Phil and his life,becouse in Techno's eyes his father was the last person who deserved to die.

Now that Phil's gone Techno is all alone,by himself in a world that's controlled by a government he so desperately tried to tear apart and let it crumble to pieces- He would be confused,scared and thirsty for revenge.Phil's death is a major problem in the whole plotline,especially the one Techno is writin' for his character! I really hope that nobody attempts to try to get to Techno by usin' Phil,it wouldn't end well in any way whatsoever and would only make things worse.I don't really know how Tommy would react but I know that his relationship towards his father in the SMP isn't the best,we all know that he's careful aswell as skeptical around Phil becouse he sticks close to Techno, Tommy's eldest brother and the person he hates the most. [for now atleast,i just have a feelin' that both Tommy and Ghostbur will join Techno's side soon and that the right time hasn't come yet for them to realize this-]

What I'm tryin' to say here is that if Phil dies,he's gone forever.There are no second opportunities,once those ten hearts are all drained from their red color it's over.I would be so dejected and sorrowful if the BA actually considers the idea to take that one,precious life away from Phil.And now that I think about it- Phil is conflicted.

On one side,the first thing he did when he arrived in L'manberg was murder his own son in cold blood,and the worst part was that Phil didn't even want to do it- He was handed over the blade by Wilbur himself.And by rebuildin, the city,Phil is workin' on finishin' his son's unfinished symphony for him since he isn't here to do it himself.And not only that but he also has to take care of the ghost of said dead son which is extremely tragic to think about.He wants to gain the citizens trust and wants to keep all of them under control by keepin' the atmosphere light.Phil's grandson,Fundy,is now also under his care which is a extra task on his part,add the fact that Wilbur forgot most of the things he committed and Phil tries his best to make him remember and recollect his lost memories.

Then there's Tommy,the most complicated son he has to deal with throughout all of this.Not only did Tommy get exiled- but he lost his best friend,his brothers and their beloved city they created together.His discs are the only thing dancing around in his head and keepin' him sane,due to the neglect and loss of major importance he became suicidal,thinkin' about losin' his last life to himself.He's all alone and is blamin' everyone else as the bad guy,he doesn't understand that half of the reason this happend to him was his own fault,his own selfishness and greed.Phil knows Tommy's stubbornness and temper,his hot headedness and that all he wants is everythin' to be the way it was at the beginnin' when it all started-

How Techno is,no doubt,Phil's favorite son.Their relationship is strong and built up on solid ground due to the past they spent together by eachother's side.Their bond and healthy correspondence makes them an unstoppable duo and Phil would do anythin' to keep it that way and enjoy his son's company as long as he can.He helps Techno with both small tasks and difficult quests,if he invites him of course,Phil would never tag along if Techno doesn't want company.He understands Techno,he understands the way he thinks and acts,the reasons behind his decisions and all of his activities.Phil was the first person to show Techno what it felt like to be loved and cared about,to be accepted into a world full of misery.And in return Techno granted him his respect,kindness and loyalty to keep up their parallel.Phil knows if he would join Techno that the way others view him would instantly change and shift towards bein' negative.

The fact that he has a Antartic Empire shield proves how much he wants to be on Techno's side and bring back the vibes of the empire they lead in the south,it's pretty much obvious that he's virtually already on Techno's side but he doesn't make a final statement on it whatsoever.He never spoke up about it genuinely,he never confirmed the suspicions of him joinin' Techno but I think it's self explanatory who's side he will be on.

And now comes the prison- Probably the most fucked thing that has ever been created.The idea was requested by Dream and Sam is the one deconstructin' it righ now.As for now we don't know much information or details about this jail but we for sure know who it's meant for- Techno.Like Dream stated when asked about it "Somebody who is very capable" and "Somebody I can't kill" which clearly describes Techno- He may never die,but it can be attempted to contain him in a cell.Now my prediction is that the BA and maybe even more people [Dream,Sam,the Badlands,etc.] will capture Phil and hold him imprisoned there until Techno willingly comes along to save Phil's life,they will certainly lure Techno in there by usin' his father as bait.

I have no idea if ANY of this stuff wiln actually happen' in the SMP,but even if they don't- Phil's character and story progress is one of the most underrated and interestin' ones.

#mcyt #minecraft youtubers #minecraft #dreamsmp #philza #technoblade #tommyinnit #ghostbur #wilbursoot #tubbo #fundy #dream #dreamwastaken #quackity #awesamdude

204 notes · View notes