#Now I haven’t talked to most of them in years but we should all hang out sometime | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brattyfork · 6 months

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i haven’t

summary: matt feels insecure still being a virgin, his best friend helps him out

warnings: sex obviously, matt being kind of a sub, nothing super crazy, very long tho sorry

i havent 💚3

matt and i have been best friends since high school, he was always more of the shy one in our friendship. this resulted in us having two very different high school experiences, i had the very stereotypical “ideal” experience, parties, drinking, sex, all the lame school dances, football games, you name it, i probably did it. matt, however, had almost the complete opposite, unfortunately his anxiety usually got the best of him and he ended up hanging out with a few close friends (including me) and his brothers, which was still super fun but he stayed in his comfort zone. i convinced matt, with chris’ help, to come to a few parties but aside from getting high once he didn’t really participate in them. all of this to say, i was pretty experienced while matt was a sober virgin. i know that sounds harsh but it never bothered me or him as far as i knew. i obviously wanted to have fun with my best friend but it never distanced us, it was his choice and i respected it.

this brings us to now, i’m 20 and living with matt and his two triplet brothers. matt had come out of his shell a considerable amount but still never felt the need to do anything crazy.

we were sitting in our living room bored out of our minds when nick suggested we play a game. i suggested truth or dare but none of us wanted to get up so chris said we should play never have i ever. nick made fun of him for picking something so middle school but no one had any better ideas so we went with it.

it started out pretty tame, “nhie pooped my pants” “nhie cried at school” “nhie fallen down the stairs” before chris raised the stakes. “nhie kissed someone” i was confused why he asked this because we all had and we all knew that. i put my finger down, turning to matt who was red in the face and realized why chris asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

senior year, matt was feeling really bad about not having had his first kiss before he graduated high school. he was complaining and moping so much that i finally suggested i could be his first kiss. he turned beet red and began asking me a dozen questions.

“won’t it be weird?”

“not if we don’t make it weird”

“what if i’m bad?”

“you can’t really be bad at it, plus if you were i wouldn’t care”

“are you sure about this?”

“yeah if it’ll make you stop sulking in self pity”

he rolled his eyes at me, “you’re not gonna make fun of me are you?”

i tilted my head at him, “matt, have i ever genuinely made fun of you?” he shook his head.

“just close your eyes, i’ll take the lead”

he took a deep breath before closing his eyes. i leaned over, a little nervous myself, took his face in my hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. he kissed back for a moment before i pulled away, him subconsciously chasing my lips. it was actually one of the nicest kisses i’ve ever had, his lips were soft and he was gentle, most guys just tried to eat my face. once we had both pulled back and opened our eyes we started giggling which turned into stomach-churning laughter. we just couldn’t help it, it was funny. we didn’t talk about it anymore after that, other than him updating his brothers on what had happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chris could be a dick sometimes, giving his brothers a hard time and unfortunately, matt was an easy target. i kicked chris’ leg, giving him a stern look.

“ow! what the hell dude?”

“don’t be a dick”

we moved on, more questions about embarrassing things and a few rounds later it was chris’ turn again.

“nhie had sex” chris giggled

chris and i put a finger down, while nick and matt’s stayed up.

“did someone slip asshole pills into your pepsi?”

they all chuckled at my comment, but it wasn’t really a joke.

“i think we should quit while we’re ahead, are you guys hungry?” they all nodded. nick and chris began bickering about where we should eat while we were all getting our shoes on.

“do you wanna drive or do you want me to?” i asked matt

“i don’t care” he didn’t sound angry, more defeated

“okay, i can drive” i gave him a soft smile.

we loaded into the car, nick taking his usual spot in the back. chris tried to sit up front, he normally sat there when matt drove and sometimes when i did. i shot him a glare, him letting out a sigh and scooting in next to nick. matt took his seat in the front, sometimes he would ask for aux but he just went on his phone and said nothing. chris chimed in from the back.

“can i…?” he asked referring to the music, i nodded my head at him, seeing as i didn’t wanna pick anything and matt was occupied.

we decided on a coney island, wanting to sit down opposed to getting fast food. we got a booth, chris and nick sitting across from matt and i. matt was particularly quiet tonight and i could tell something was wrong. i noticed he was twiddling his thumbs in his lap and quickly grabbed his hand, interlacing our fingers and resting our hands on his thigh. this was normal for us, we held hands sometimes when one of us noticed the other was stressed. he looked up from his lap and gave me a small smile before slowly joining the conversation. matt seemed to be acting like his normal self again but i could tell something was still bothering him.

we finished our food and made our way back to the house, chris and nick decided to retire to bed while matt and i weren’t super tired yet. we grabbed a few snacks before heading to my room, which was on the first floor while the boys’ were on the second, mainly so we didn’t have to worry about waking up nick and chris.

we turned on adventure time and matt rested his head on my lap while we both scrolled aimlessly through our phones. after about two episodes, matt put his phone down and just stared at the ceiling.

“are you good?” i asked, concerned about his strange behavior.

“when did you lose your virginity?”

i was taken a back by his question but answered nonetheless.

“uhh summer after sophomore year i think”

he didn’t say anything.

“why do you ask?”

“do you think it’s weird i’m still a virgin?”

“no matt, not at all”

“i think it’s weird”

“do you think it’s weird that nick is a virgin?”

“no but he’s at least done stuff, all i’ve done is kissed you, no offense”

i giggled, “none taken matty, the time just hasn’t been right yet. you’ll meet a girl and hit it off, you’ll know.”

“yeah…” he trailed off, like he had more to say.

“you know you can tell or ask me anything right?”

“if you don’t want to, you can tell me to fuck off and we can forget this ever happened…” he paused for a moment “w-would you have sex with me?”

“are you sure you want to? we don’t have to do anything you don’t want”

“yes i want to, i’m sick of being a 20 year old virgin” he chuckled. i let out a few giggles too before our laughter died down.

when i looked at him now, his eyes were dark with need and desperation. i took his face in my hands and pulled him into a deep kiss. i hadn’t had a kiss like matt’s since senior year, i tried to push it out of my head but it was hard. it was like fireworks were going off inside my head when our lips touched, i had never felt that with anyone else.

the kiss got more heated, i wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself onto his lap, causing him to whimper at the pressure. i smiled into the kiss, his noises giving me more confidence as i ground my hips into his lap. he almost completely pulled away from the kiss as a desperate whine escaped his lips. i smiled at him before making my way to his neck, placing wet kisses along it up to his ear.

“i love the noises you make” i whispered before sucking a purple mark into his neck, more beautiful sounds leaving his lips while his hands trailed down to my ass, pulling me into him.

i came back to his face kissing him again before bringing my hands to the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. i then took off my shirt and bra so he wouldn’t feel so exposed. his eyes bore into my chest, his mouth hung open as if he wanted to say something.

“you gotta use your words to get what you want matty..” i teased him.

“c-can i touch you?” he asked, moving his hands up towards my boobs.

“of course you can, such a polite boy”

he blushed before placing his cold hands over my breasts, causing me to shiver. i kissed him while he played with my boobs, gaining more confidence and playing with my nipples. i let out a moan that was swallowed into the kiss before i pushed him onto the bed, leaving me on top of him.

i quickly got up off of him before taking off my leggings and moving to pull down his pants. he protested slightly, causing me to pull away before he spoke.

“can i make you feel good?”

“you will baby, i’m gonna take care of you right now tho, just relax” he let out a deep breath, giving into my instructions. i crawled up to his lap, palming him over his boxers before placing kisses up his shaft over the fabric. he began squirming under me when i decided to take his boxers off. he wasn’t huge but a decent size: proportional in length and width. i licked my lips, excited to have him inside me before taking him in my hand and licking a strip up the underside of his dick. he jumped a bit at the new feeling before letting out a loud groan from my warm tongue on his cock. i licked up the side of him before finally taking him into my mouth, sucking on the tip lightly causing him to buck his hips into me. he shot me an apologetic look while i took the rest of him in my mouth, the tip of his dick hitting the back of my throat. he gasped, all the air leaving his lungs as i began to bob up and down on him.

“holy fucking shit” he whimpered. i couldn’t help but giggle around him, the vibration causing him to buck up again. i continued sucking him, swirling my tongue around his dick until i felt him twitch in my mouth. i pulled off, followed by a loud whine of protest coming from him.

“mmm i was close” he pouted.

“don’t you wanna cum inside me?” his eyes lit up at the suggestion before nodding his head. i climbed up him, planning to ride him before he stopped me.

“um, can i do something to you?”

“you wanna finger me sweet boy?” he quickly nodded his head making me chuckle again at his eagerness. i grabbed his hand, pulling his pointer and middle finger out before taking them in my mouth, running my tongue all along them while keeping eye contact with the boy under me. i could feel his dick twitching under me, causing me to moan around his fingers. i pulled his fingers out of my mouth before moving them down to my pussy. he moved his fingers around, just getting a feeling for the area before stating “you’re so wet” i kissed him as he continued to feel me, rubbing his wet fingers on my clit making me moan into the kiss. he found his way to my entrance, pushing just at the beginning before stopping. i opened my eyes, realizing he was waiting for my consent. i nodded my head and he pushed one of his slender fingers into me, in turn pulling moans out of me. i moved to his ear. “you can put the other one in too” i whispered to him. he pushed the other in before i kissed him, pushing my tongue into his mouth and quickly dominating. he slowly got his footing, picking up his pace, my noises egging him on to repeat his actions. i felt myself nearing the edge, now grinding down onto his fingers. i pulled away from the kiss.

“fuck matty, you’re making me feel so good. please don’t stop” he said nothing but continued his motions until i fell into my orgasm, my legs shaking on his lap, still moving his fingers in and out of me. i had to grab his wrist for him to stop, not realizing he was overstimulating me.

“sorry” he murmured.

“you dont have to be sorry goof. you want me to ride you now?”

“yes please”

i spit on my hand, stroking him up and down a few times before lining him up at my entrance. i looked at him for approval, him nodding his head for me to slowly sink down. the noise he made when i pushed him into me is something i wish i could have on replay in my head for the rest of my life. like i said, he wasn’t huge but he filled me up in all the right places.

“fuck matt you feel so good”

“you’re so fucking tight holy god” i chuckled at his response, sitting there for a minute longer to let us both get used to the sensation.

“ready?” i looked to him, he nodded. i lifted myself up on my knees before sinking back down onto him. he placed his hands on my hipbones, helping guide me up and down while i bounced on his cock.

“hnng holy shit i think i’m close”

“me too baby, let go whenever you’re ready, i’ve got you” i reassured him, picking up my pace a bit, his whines getting more and more broken with every movement. before i knew it i could feel his hot cum coating my insides, sending me over the edge, fucking us both through our highs. once we both stopped twitching, i laid down on him, getting comfortable while he caught his breath.

“god i could stay here forever”

“we could sleep like this you know”

“are you sure?? is that sanitary?” i laughed at him.

“yes it’s fine matt, just go to sleep, i know you’re tired”

“as long as you’re comfortable, okay. goodnight, thank you for that”

“of course matty, goodnight” i said wrapping my arms around his neck and falling asleep with him inside me.

a/n: hi hope yall enjoyed :3 sorry the end is kinda rushed i didn’t rly know how to end it.

#sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut

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mymoodwriting · 1 year

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Request for Anon (Yandere Sugar Daddy NCT U) 9k, assault, verbal assault, physical assault, slut-shaming, public humiliation, bullying, name calling, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, penetration, blowjob, handjob, creampie, gang bang, breeding, pregnancy scare, forced pregnancy, non-con, kidnapping, yandere, bad ending, blatant disregard for womens reproductive rights

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

This wasn’t the first time you had answered the phone in such a manner. Screaming into the little speaker, hoping to blow out the eardrum of the annoying caller, and then hanging up. It was a very frustrating ordeal.

“Damn girl, what’s your problem?”

“It’s nothing, Mina. Just trying to get my point across.”

“Is someone bothering you?”

“Bingo.”

“Then why haven’t you blocked their number?”

“Oh I have, but obviously they still know mine. So whenever I get a call from a random number, I answer by screaming.”

“And how long have you been doing that for?”

“Uh… a little over a week now.”

“Seriously? And they still haven’t gotten the message?”

“Nope.”

“You know, what if those calls are important?”

“I don’t have any jobs or internships or anything that I’m waiting to hear back on, so it’s highly unlikely that’s the case.”

“Maybe you should change your number.”

“That would mean spending money I don’t have.”

“Really? Says the girl who has paid her tuition in full and doesn’t owe a penny in student debt. All because of some mystery job she won’t tell me about or share!”

“Well, you know me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

You and Mina were close friends, having met here at Uni your freshman year and sticking together through it all. Now you were at the start of your final semester, ready for one last ride before starting a new chapter of your life. Of course the campus was jammed back as new students were moving in, and freshmen were trying to navigate this new place and find their classes. It was a really beautiful day too, and you had yet to start any of your classes, so you were in a pretty good mood. You knew you probably wouldn’t feel the same by the end of the day, but it was best to make the most of it now. That is until you were suddenly yanked back, and came face to face with someone you really didn’t want to see.

“You’re such a fucken bitch.”

Jeno’s words dripped with venom. To say he was pissed would be an understatement. He was also the last person you wanted to see right now.

“What the hell are you doing here!”

“Why aren’t you answering our calls?”

“Oh, I am answering. I just don’t wanna hear what you have to say!”

“That’s not solely for you to decide!”

“Yes, it is. If I want to end things, I can, and I have.”

“Without a proper explanation? You’re kidding, right?”

“Does it sound like I am?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Leave. Before I call security.”

“We are not leaving until we talk.”

“We?”

You heard it then, the terribly familiar sound of a car engine, two car engines to be specific. You looked over and saw the vehicles pulling up, two gentlemen exiting each one, and making their way over to you. In the moment you attempted to run off, but Jeno grabbed your arm and dragged you towards them.

“There she is.” Ten teased. “Where ya been hiding love?”

“Fuck off! I want nothing to do with you! Any of you!”

“Yeah, we got your text. Now explain yourself.”

“What’s there to explain? I’m breaking up with you, period.”

“See that’s the thing.” Johnny grabbed your chin and forced your eyes to meet. “Where did that silly idea come from?”

“My head. Or is that too hard to comprehend.”

“Easy now, princess. You’re begging for punishment if you keep acting like this.”

“I’m not playing any games here.” You pulled away from Johnny. “We’re done, now leave.”

“That’s hardly an explanation.” Jaehyun hissed. “Do the last four years mean nothing to you?”

“Are you really all that dumb? Our relationship was just an exchange of goods and services, nothing more.”

“Is that so?”

“I’ve told you all about my dreams and aspirations for the future before. When did I ever include you in them?”

Yuta scoffed. “So you really just whored yourself out to us for four years so we could pay your tuition? And now that it’s all been paid off, you’re done with us?”

“Bingo. Maybe you’re not that stupid.”

“This was all just a fucken game to you?” Jeno yelled. “Four years?! A fucken game!”

“Not like you ever made a serious move, did you now? Any of you for that matter. So don’t come bitching to me about a broken heart or broken promises. It’s not my fault you caught feelings when I wasn’t sending you any fucken signals.”

“Yeah? What about all the nights out? The dinners, the trips, the clothes and accessories?”

“Dinners, and trips, you invited me out on. I never asked to go anywhere. As for the clothes and other stuff, that’s all at your place, isn’t it? I never kept any of the fancy expensive stuff you got me, did I? Nor did I ask for anything. I owe you nothing. You got what you paid for, more than that actually, but I’m fine leaving things as they are.”

Your words had certainly stunned them into silence. And you also meant everything you said. It was certainly fun to be with them, to get a little slice of that kinda life, even if it was just for a while. You knew it wouldn’t last though, and that’s the mentality you kept, the one that kept you from falling for them. They were just rich guys wanting someone to mess around with, and now that their no-strings attached fuck buddy had left them, they were panicking. You said your peace, having to spell it all out for them. It was good to get it off your chest though, and with that you’d make you exit. Or at least that was the idea.

As you turned around to leave, you felt a hand grab your arm and yank you back with enough force to drop you to the ground. You couldn’t get back up as they surrounded you. By then your whole argument had been noticed and a crowd of students and faculty had gathered around. Having this conversation out in the open was already embarrassing, and all the attention was making it worse. Although they were about to increase that exponentially.

“Whore.” Jaehyun spat. “Any money spent on you was clearly a waste. The only way you could think about getting through uni was to spread your legs. I bet you slept around with your professors too.”

“Excuse me!”

“Do you even have any brains?” Yuta questioned. “Or are you just playing pretend so you can wear a cap and gown, and show off some piece of paper.”

“Fucken-”

You tried to get up but Jeno got his foot on your chest, pinning you down. You struggled to get him off, but he was putting all his weight on you. When your eyes met him you could see he was still pissed, and if possible, he was way more enraged now.

“You found someone else to spread your legs for, didn’t you!” Jeno yelled. “Whoring yourself out for whoever can benefit you the most!”

“Get off of me!”

“Why? Don’t you like having men on top of you?” Johnny kicked dirt at you. “Fucken slut.”

“Ya!”

“Just do what you do best.”

Yuta and Ten started yanking your legs apart, and you kicked and screamed at them. Although you stopped when Jeno put more weight on you and you struggled to breath. You were clawing at his leg, but he was relentless.

“What’s going on here!”

Two officers from campus security approached and all the boys stepped back. Jeno moved away and you took in a deep breath, sitting up and coughing a bit.

“We’re leaving.” Ten smiled. “No need for an escort.”

“Hold on now, you can’t-”

“Just let them go.” You spoke. “I’m not gonna make a big deal out of this.”

The officers didn’t do anything more, and so the boys walked off. Soon enough you heard those damn engines again, but you didn’t dare look over at them. For a moment after they were gone everything remained quiet and still, and then Mina came over to help you stand, the crowds starting to disperse.

“What the hell was all that?”

“Remember when I told you I got a sugar daddy…”

“Yeah, daddy, as in one, not five! Also, I didn’t believe you.”

“Well I wasn’t lying.”

“Clearly. And you couldn’t share any of them?”

“They’re not exactly easy to deal with.”

“Is that why you’d always ditch me? Disappear on weekends? Why we couldn’t ever really share a meal together? You were off with them.”

“Yeah…”

“You really are stupid.”

“Ya!”

“Girl, when did you ever have time for yourself? Or anyone else in your life who was actually important? Here I thought you were just so focused on studying and busy working to pay off your tuition. I wasn’t wrong on the latter, but still.”

“Are you... mad at me?”

“No, not really. Just processing out loud... you did tell me about this, somewhat, I just didn’t think you were for real.”

“I know. If you had told me the same thing I wouldn’t have believed you either.”

“But you’re really done with them now?”

“Yup. I didn’t think they’d throw such a fit though.”

“A fit? I’d call that harassment, and assault. Shouldn’t you press charges?”

“There’s no point. They’d get good lawyers, and it’d just be a waste of my time. I don’t want anything to do with them anymore, so I’ll let it go.”

“Fine, but you are getting a new number after class. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

That morning certainly killed the mood, but you went about your day trying to make the best of it. Of course your chest hurt pretty bad, but nothing some quick pain killers couldn’t deal with. Like you had promised, after all your classes, you and Mina went to change your number. Then you went about the grueling task of messaging friends and family to let them know you had a new number.

“Shall we go out for ice cream? You know, since you’re free now.”

“I could use something sweet.”

You knew there would still be issues. If they made such a big show at your campus, who knows what else would happen if you met out on the streets. With that in mind you didn’t go anywhere off campus alone, and you didn’t visit any of their favorite places or usual hangouts. You thought you had it figured out, but there was something you couldn’t avoid. Everyone else.

Word spread fast about that day. About how a girl got harassed by five guys, and all the slurs and insults that they threw her way. A few days later everyone seemed to know your name, and had an idea of the type of person you were. When you went to class all the others would purposely sit away from you, only Mina ever sat next to you. Then there were the whispers and chuckles. Every time you raised your hand to ask a question there was always some comment about you sleeping around with the professor. Regardless of who it was. It was frustrating, but you just pushed through. Although Mina certainly wanted to pick a fight with everyone.

“Just let it go.”

“How are you so okay with this?”

“I’m not, but it’ll die down eventually. As long as I don’t engage with them I won’t add fuel to the fire. So don’t pay them any attention.”

“They are slut-shaming you and saying all kinds of shit.”

“And I just have to make it through this semester. After that I can move forward and really build my life. I’m not gonna let some idiots who have nothing better to do ruin that. Besides, I’m sure they’re all just jealous I could actually get a Sugar Daddy, and five at that.”

“You’re not wrong there. Those people don’t just throw money at anyone.”

“I appreciate you ready to fight for me, but this ain’t worth it.”

Mina sighed. “Fine, but if you ever wanna start swinging, just let me know.”

“Will do.”

🖤

You were right, in part. The teasing did die down, and you could go about your life like normal, but there were still a handful of dicks who found things funny. And one ballsy little fucker who decided to go a step further. As one of your classes ended, and you were gathering your things, another of your peers accidentally spilled their drink all over you.

“Oh shit, my bad. You must be used to getting soaked though.”

That bastard and his friends snickered to themselves. You knew everyone got the joke, some chuckling too, but of course no one was gonna say anything or take your side. So you just did your best to clean your face, and then whipped around to look at your attacker. Of course it was a boy and his friends, although he got quiet now that you were staring at him dead on.

“Your mistake, right?”

“Yeah. I can be clumsy, you know.”

“Right. So then just pay up and we can call it even.”

“Huh?”

“You said it was your mistake. So pay for it.” You held out your hand. “I think a hundred dollars should cover my hair and clothes.”

“A hundred dollars? You play around with some rich boys and now you think you’re worth all that?”

“So you’re not gonna pay me?”

“Fuck that.”

“Fine then, but we are gonna call it even.”

“What?”

Without missing a beat you swung at him and clocked him right in the face. He fell back onto his friends, and you noticed a bit of blood from his nose.

“My mistake. I guess we’re even now.”

“You bitch!”

Not once in your academic career have you ever wound up in the principal’s office, this was the student dean’s office, so not the same but still. You had no problems with words, but things getting physical was crossing a line, and you weren’t going to sit still. You were still drying off as you sat in the dean’s office, listening to that jerk go off about how you were a monster and whatever. You weren’t going to apologize until he did, but that was definitely not gonna happen when his parents walked in. You couldn’t believe he actually called for help like this, and now they were demanding your expulsion. That someone violent like you shouldn’t be at such a place.

“Are you kidding? Are you even looking at me? Your son started this, and couldn’t apologize or pay up for his mistake!”

“A mistake isn’t met with physical violence!”

“He started it!”

“Please, everyone calm down.” The dean spoke. “We can resolve this without yelling.”

“I want that girl expelled.”

“That seems a little too-”

“Do you know how much we give to this school so-”

The conversation stopped short as the door opened. You couldn’t imagine who else would join this conversation. When you looked back your eyes went wide, and you stood up.

“Sit down, baby.” Johnny said. “We’ll get you cleaned up later.”

“How-”

“Who the hell are you gentlemen?!”

“Y/n’s sponsors.” Jaehyun smiled. “We heard there was a commotion involving her, and by the state she is in, I’m not very happy. What is being done to remedy this?”

“She hasn’t apologized for hitting my son!”

“Has he apologized for his actions?”

“Exactly who are you to be making such demands?”

“Ah, right. I’ve not introduced myself. I’m Jung Jaehyun. These are my friends, Nakamoto Yuta, Johnny Suh, Lee-”

“I know those names…”

“Good. Then apologize before you’re buried.”

“Excu-”

“Or shall this be resolved outside this room?” Ten smiled. “I have no problem doing it that way too. I might actually prefer it.”

You didn’t care much for an apology, you got to punch the fucker in the face, but getting one was the cherry on top. You didn’t apologize either and the situation was left at that. Now that you had a moment you wanted to go clean up, and the boys wound up dragging you into a gender neutral bathroom. Johnny locked the door, and leaned against it, guaranteeing privacy. You were ready to start screaming and fighting but Yuta turned the sink on, getting the water warm and grabbing paper towels. They weren’t saying anything, and you could silently be grateful for that. You washed up your hair, using the hand dryer to dry it off as best you could. Jeno gave you his jacket afterwards since your shirt was still dirty.

“Alright, what the fuck do you want?”

“We owe you an apology.” Yuta said. “For everything.”

“Go on then.”

“We’re sorry we attacked you the way we did that day.” Jeno began. “We were out of line and completely in the wrong for that.”

“Assholes. You know this is all your fault right? Everyone keeps calling me names because of you! And this was the first time someone dared to take it a step further.”

“We never meant-”

“Then what did you think was gonna happen when you screamed out that I was a whore in the middle of campus?”

“…”

“Good try, I guess.”

“You were right.” Ten admitted. “Four years is a lot of time, and yet throughout it all you never made a move to suggest you wanted anything more from us than attention and money. We never did anything to give you the impression that we wanted more from you either. I’m sure if we had, you would have said something sooner. So you were right, we had no reason to act the way we did. We’ve been seeing each other for a long time and you broke it off so suddenly. Our judgment became clouded, and we let rage overtake us when we should have been better. We can’t simply undo what we did, but we are sincerely sorry for our actions.”

“Hm… was it really that hard to take a moment and reflect?”

“Yeah…” Jaehyun added. “We’ve had such good times together, it was hard to believe you’d just leave us like that… but why was it so sudden? Why didn’t you just talk to us?”

“I… I wasn’t entirely sure how… we weren’t really boyfriend and girlfriend… and it’s not like we had agreed to anything specifically when we started this whole… thing… all I could think of was a break up text… I also didn’t think you’d explode at me the way you did… I mean, I always thought you had girls lined up that you played with or whatever… I didn’t think you’d care that much…”

“Well, as you can see… we care a lot…”

“Yeah… how did you even know I was in trouble?”

“We might have… been paying someone in the administrative office to keep tabs on you for us…”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Johnny commented. “We’ve practically been with you throughout your whole academic career. You’re a good student, so we never imagined you’d get into any kind of trouble, but just to be safe. It worked out for us in the end. We’ve been wanting to talk to you, to apologize, we just didn’t really know how to approach you.”

“I see.”

“Which brings us to our other point. Do you think we can do this properly?”

“Do what?”

“We understand that you don’t see us in your future, but can we at least end things on a good note? We’ve been with you for four years now… we were all kinda hoping to see you graduate you know…”

“What exactly are you suggesting here?”

“One last dinner… one last trip…” Yuta mumbled. “That kinda stuff… let us see this to the end. We can just be another part of your Uni days and nothing more.”

“Hm…”

“Can you at least give us that kinda closure?”

You weren’t really sure how you felt about all this. You had already cut them out of your life, but they were clearly still hanging on. At least they had apologized, and did help you back there in the dean’s office. Truth was the way you handled things wasn’t all that great either. You had been worried that if you just talked to them they’d find some way to convince you to stick around, but that really wasn’t your life plan. Now they understood that, so maybe things could end differently. You also didn’t want to part ways with them on a bad note.

“Just until graduation?”

“We really wanna see you with that cap and gown.” Jeno admitted. “You’ll look so gorgeous.”

“Alright, we can somewhat continue as we were, but after my graduation, we’re done. Understood?”

“Got it.”

“Can we take you out to lunch then?” Ten asked. “Since you’re done with classes for the day.”

“You know my schedule too?”

“We were trying to figure out a way to talk to you…”

“Fine, let me just go change clothes first. I’ll meet you at my usual pick up spot?”

“That works for us.”

🖤

It had been a while since you last hung out with the boys, so there was a bit of awkwardness. At least this was just lunch to ease back into things. They took you to one of their usual spots, getting a private room and ordering your favorites.

“So, you really just clocked him in the face, huh?”

“He could have paid up. I wasn’t going to let him do that without consequence.”

“Good on you.” Yuta cheered. “Although tryna get you kicked out, that’s ridiculous.”

“I can’t believe he called his parents. Such a momma’s boy.”

“Says the sugar baby.”

“I didn’t call you to come save my ass.”

“Ah, so you agree.” Johnny teased. “We did save you?”

“Well… I wasn’t entirely sure how I was gonna deal with that just yet…”

“We saved you. It’s okay to admit that.”

“You guys just wanna brag to my face.”

“Is that so wrong?” Jeno teased. “Maybe you can shut me up with a reward.”

“You think you deserve a reward?”

“Don’t I?”

“Hm… what did you have in mind?”

“I have been missing you a lot.”

“Really? You? Or is it someone else?”

“Huh?”

Jeno had been at your side, and he was leaning in close asking for his reward. Now that you were teasing him back you leaned in too. You placed a hand between his legs, slowly moving it closer to his crotch. After breaking the ice, it was kinda easy to slip back into old dynamics. Besides, maybe you had missed something about them too.

“Oh… you want a reward out of this too, huh?”

“I’ve been good, haven’t I?”

“Easy now.” Jaehyun pulled you away from Jeno. “We’re just having lunch today, baby. Besides, are you still taking the pills?”

You sighed. “I stopped taking them when we parted ways.”

“Then we should probably get you back on them before we start playing. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“We still have some.” Ten offered. “They should work just fine, right?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Excellent. I’ll throw in a pregnancy test or two, just to be safe.”

“Seriously?”

“Well, you took a break from the pill, just a precaution.”

“Fair.”

Things weren’t exactly like before. They were more respectful of your time. Before they’d always be calling, wanting every moment of free time you had. They’d pick you up Friday night from school, keep you to themselves all weekend most of the time. You only ever got a pass during exam time, and when you had the guts to ask for a break. Usually you didn’t, not wanting to upset them and possibly lose out on your tuition money. It was exhausting, but it was all for a better life. At least that’s what you told yourself. This time around they were more like friends, checking in on you, and asking how you were doing.

They definitely wanted to see you, but on your own terms. So occasionally you’d go out for lunch, maybe dinner, but nothing too extravagant, as you knew they were gonna go all out for the last trip and dinner. At least with these little outings they always brought you back to campus unlike before where you’d spent the night with them until Sunday afternoon. Things were better this way, kinda making you wish the last four years had been like this too. Although you were actually surprised when they brought up the last trip.

“Spring break?”

“Yeah. Let’s have a blast and unwind before you give it your all for graduation.”

“Uh… well… the thing is…”

“You don’t like it?” Johnny questioned.

“I had already made plans with my friends for spring break… and I thought you’d want to go out on a trip like after my finals…”

“Ah, right. You didn’t intend for us to still be in your life by now.”

“Then how about we split it.” Yuta suggested. “First half of your break, you hang out with your friends. For the second half, we get you all to ourselves.”

“Hm… switch it.”

“Huh?”

“You get the first half, my friends get the second half.”

“How come?”

“Cause you guys can switch your plans around easily, my friends can’t.”

“Fair. So we’ll pick you up Monday morning?” Jeno asked. “Or can we come get you Friday night?”

“Oh, wanna kick things off early?”

“If you can handle it.”

“Sure. I’ll pack some things after my class.”

“Can’t wait.”

Even if you were acting cool, you were excited for this trip. They always treated you so well, spoiled you like a princess. This wasn’t gonna be any different. They had been modest so far, but now was their chance to do things like back then. They picked you up in a party bus, starting off strong with drinks, and congratulating you on your midterm exams. Of course karaoke and good food followed, and you were out celebrating until early hours of the morning. Somehow you all made it back to the penthouse sweet. You had a few more drinks before you made it to bed, half dressed with the boys piled around you.

The morning was a hangover times six, although some of them had it worse than you. Thankfully breakfast was brought up, and hangover cures, so you just had to get up and put food in your mouth. When that failed Johnny was more than happy to feed you, the one of the bunch that could really handle their liquor. You also needed to get yourself together. The party had only just begun, not to mention all the plans you had with your friends later on in the week. For now though, you just needed to make it through breakfast.

“Had a little too much?”

“I’m good…”

“Your face says otherwise.”

“What’s it telling you?”

“You wanna throw up?”

“I don’t want a bad taste in my mouth.”

“Then some ice cream to help soothe your throat.”

“Ice cream for breakfast?” Jaehyun questioned. “Isn’t that a bad idea?”

“This week is all about bad ideas.”

“So what’s on the agenda for today?” You asked. “More drinks?”

“We want you sober for all the memories we are gonna make. So no more drinks, is that okay?”

“Just fine.”

“Good. We were thinking of some tourist attractions, and some trips to the museums.”

“Jellyfish!”

“Yes. The aquarium is on the list.”

“Awesome!”

Once you were all better you headed out, taking a limo into town. You had a chance to relax now that you were on break, and really take it all in. This was one of the last times you’d be around here, planning to go home after graduation. The whole day honestly made you feel like a child, indulging in everything you wanted to do or eat. To many you looked like a little sister with her brothers, or maybe just a lucky girl with her friends, but either way, you were glad you didn’t attract any negative attention. Some did recognize the boys, but that never became a problem, so you had nothing to worry about.

You got to have lunch in the aquarium, watching all the fishes swim, almost feeling like you were in the water with them. The penguins were great too, and the jellyfish, and dolphins. You totally walked out with two or three plushies. For dinner this time you returned to the hotel, having some quality food, but as said before no drinking. Jeno and Yuta still felt the need to embarrass you and make a toast to your health and success in school. They even had a dessert brought out with a candle to once again congratulate you on surviving midterms. Although once back in the suite you better understood why there was a drinking ban.

As soon as you set foot in the penthouse Johnny picked you up in his arms, taking you to the bedroom. He saw you down and laid you back, his hand caressing your cheek. You could feel one of the others getting your shoes off, and you knew where this was going. It had been a while, but you had been waiting for this. Besides all the attention and money, there was another benefit to having five sugar daddies. No one could ever take care of you the way you did. Johnny leaned down to kiss your lips, his hands reaching down to your shirt, although you stopped him.

“I don’t think you asked permission.”

“I’m not asking tonight, baby.”

“No?”

“You have any idea how bad you’ve been?”

“Me?”

“Breaking up with us.” Jeno hissed into your ear. “Hiding away and trying to leave.”

“I thought we-”

“Sh, unless you wanna cause more trouble.”

“Tonight you’re gonna give us everything we are owed.” Yuta added. “So you better take it all with a smile on your face.”

Suddenly Johnny had your hands pinned above your head as Jeno pulled up your shirt. He reached over to unhook your bra and push it up, exposing your breasts. He kneaded them for a moment and you bit your lip. His hands were cold, but he knew how you liked his touch. Then you felt hands getting you out of your skirt. The second your panties were exposed there was a hand grabbing your crotch.

“It did always hurt that you never invited us back to your dorm.” Ten commented. “Didn’t want you getting exposed to your roommate?”

“She knew… about our arrangement… sort of…”

“I didn’t say you could speak, baby.” Ten slapped your inner thigh. “Bad girl.”

You bit your lip, instinctively trying to close your legs but Ten pulled them apart. The boys stripped you out of your clothes, leaving your panties on for the time being. Jaehyun had taken to holding down your arms as Johnny started kissing down your chest, Ten’s hand squeezing your thighs. Yuta and Jeno were already shedding articles of clothing, getting you all the more excited.

“You’ve been a good girl and taking the pills we gave you, right?” Jaehyun asked, and you nodded. “Good. So we can have all kinds of fun tonight.”

For as long as you had been with them, you had always taken the pill. They didn’t always take you raw, but it was better to be safe than sorry. You were also glad they didn’t play around with that kinda thing, wanting to be safe with you even if they were gonna fill you up to the brim with their seed. Tonight was going to be no different, you figured they’d be desperate to do so. Even if they wanted to tease, they couldn’t help themselves for too long. Soon enough you were all naked, and you were getting attacked with kisses from all angles.

“Who’s first?”

“The eldest.”

They still cared to make sure you were nice and wet, Johnny stretching you out a good way before giving you everything. It had been so long for you too, abstaining from sex to focus on your studies. You also hadn’t slept with anyone else but them for four years, and weren’t entirely sure how to get laid anymore. Even if it hurt at first, your body was quick to remember this familiar stretch, and feeling. Johnny hadn’t forgotten your body though, doing everything just right, doing it just how you liked it. Not to mention the others knew what to do while waiting their turn. Playing with your tits, stealing kisses, rubbing your clit, using your hands or mouth to warm up. You were gonna wear yourself out long before them, and they really loved when you became putty in their hands.

Even with all the distractions you couldn’t ignore Johnny as he was the one pounding into you. He was always so rough and precise with his movements, hitting your sweet spot just right. Of course you had been getting yourself off in your dorm, but nothing could compare to one of them taking you over to the edge. You could tell when Johnny got close, he got sloppy and so desperate, trying to hold out to make it all last, but spilling inside you was just as rewarding. The warm feeling between your legs was already making you head spin, but you knew Johnny lost a bit of his touch if he didn’t get you off. He wanted another go, but Jaehyun was already shoving him out of the way.

His turn was spent and Jaehyun would take pride in finishing you off. He had no problem slipping into the mess that was becoming of your cunt, eager to add to the mix. Of course Johnny wanted to give you a taste too, having you use your tongue to clean him up. If you had taken him all at once you probably would have choked as Jaehyun was giving you everything. He was making it very obvious he had a lot of pent up frustrations he was taking out on you. If he made you feel this good, you wouldn’t mind him holding off more often. Although he wasn’t gonna get the satisfaction of making you cum either as Jeno started playing with your clit, pushing you over to the edge before Jaehyun was even close.

You squeezed Jaehyun tight, feeling as you were leaking out cum, your head thrown back as your mouth hung open in bliss. You vaguely heard Jaehyun scolding the other boy for taking what was his, but it wasn’t so bad if he got to fuck you while you were so sensitive. He moved with your climax, trying to keep you riding that high for as long as you could, but as you started to come down he got relentless. You couldn’t help but whimper, but that wasn’t gonna make him go any easy. In his own desperation he got close, unable to hold back before cumming inside you, making you overflow.

“Such a messy slut, taking two cocks so well.”

“Let’s make it three.”

Jeno wanted to go next, but Ten kicked him off. He stuck two fingers into your mess, swearing cum on your belly, and then sticking the digits in your mouth.

“How’s that taste?”

He swirled his fingers around before pulling them out with a pop. He could be real mean, playing with you when he wasn’t even filling you up. Your whimpers were adorable to him, especially when you got needy enough to start shaking your hips. Now you were begging, and he was happy to give you what you wanted.

“Whore.”

Hearing those words outside the bedroom certainly wasn’t fun, but in the bedroom, even if it was said with the same level of vileness, you’d happily accept it. Four years, the same five dicks, you were certainly a whore for them. Ten was certainly on the more elegant side, working you over along with him, knowing how to get you on his level so you’d both climax together. Even being a little out of practice with your body, he could still play you like an instrument. He always held your hands when he had his way with you, wanting more than just your cunt to squeeze him tight, he wanted to feel the rest of your body shake. You’ve left him with marks before, and he’d happily welcome them now.

“At a girl, still know who owns you.”

You swear you saw white when he made you cum, drool slipping down your face. It was only your second orgasm, but you knew they could get more out of you. As many as they pleased. There was a safe word in place, but in all the years you had known them, you never used it. They seemed to know your limits as well as you did. Before you could even properly come down Jeno was already kissing at your chest, sucking on your nipples as he edged himself inside. The noise that was heard as he pushed aside everyone else’s seed to get in, an all too familiar sound you did quite enjoy to hear.

“You’re already so full, baby, can you take more?”

“Yes…”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

These sheets were gonna need to be thrown out when you were all done. You were already creating such a mess, and it wasn’t much compared to other nights. At least not yet. Jeno was practically digging into you, pushing in as cum came out. They had all had their turns before, being first or last or in the middle, so they wouldn’t complain about what stage they got to you. There were five of them after all, so they had to be good about sharing. Jeno was eager to make you unwind, so he gave you plenty of attention elsewhere. Twirling around your clit with his fingers, seeing it get red and swollen, another hand on your hip, keeping you from escaping him. He did it well enough you came first, already so sensitive, and he soon followed.

You felt so fucken full you swear you were gonna burst, but you were just out of practice. Yuta peppered you with kisses, telling you how well you were doing. His fingers dipped into your sloppy cunt, having you get a taste of it. You certainly didn’t expect him to kiss you after, but they didn’t just play around with you. They had each other after all. You were already so overstimulated and lost, Yuta was kind enough to give you a little break before taking what was rightfully his. He had no problem playing around with your cunt for a while before dipping into the mess. He fit in nicely, having a pretty good idea how to keep you happy despite your state. He was ruthless, just as frustrated as Jaehyun, taking it all out on you and sparking you back to life. You really missed them.

Now either the orgasm or Yuta made you pass out, but either way, you blacked out for a while. When you came to you were lying on the floor with your legs up in the air, clearly having fallen off to the side of the bed. Although Jeno was happily sleeping on your tummy, sighing dreamily and clearly cozy. You giggled at the sight. Sometimes you really did forget they were all close to your age, and yet living such different lives. You let Jeno stay for a while before you realized this position was very uncomfortable. You poked Jeno’s face to make him open his eyes.

“Why didn’t you pick me up? Do you think this is comfortable?”

“You looked cute, almost like you were drunk.”

“But I’m not.”

“Well, maybe not drunk off alcohol.” Jeno giggled and got up. “We were all out of it.”

“Obviously.”

You got up, sitting down properly, well aware that you were leaking cum all over the floor, but that wasn’t for you to worry about now. Some of the others were lying in bed, and you crawled up to join them, pressing lazy kisses to exposed skin. This was all a little break for everyone. The night was still young, and even if you were four orgasms in, it was just one for each of them. They were greedy, and would certainly get what they wanted out of you, whether you were conscious or not. Waking up with a cock inside you wasn’t new, but certainly something you could picture for a night like this.

🖤

You didn’t actually wake up properly until the afternoon. After that you knew the next day would be nothing but a lazy day. Somehow you managed to get up and get into the shower, knowing you needed a deep clean. Although you dozed off until Yuta found you sitting in the tub. He had the energy to join you and help clean you up, which you were grateful for. You returned the favor as well, the two of you the first to eat lunch from room service, waiting around for the others. When you were well enough you stepped out of the penthouse so they could clean up, heading to a park to enjoy the weather and sun.

The rest of your little trip was like that. You had some more fun at night, but not too much. Besides, you’d be going off with your friends, and you didn’t need to be completely worn out. Overall it was a good trip, a good last trip, one you knew you’d never forget. When the time came they dropped you off back at Uni, wishing you well with your friends, asking you to let them know if you needed anything. You thanked them for the adventure, glad you could still have all that. It felt more authentic given that this was really you going out with them as friends, not getting paid for your company.

Of course at some point your friends had to ask about your little trip. Anyone who knew you now knew about your sugar daddies, so there was no point lying about it. You spilled what you were comfortable with, and just enjoyed your time with them. You couldn’t believe this was your last spring break, but you were so happy to have them with you. It was hard to fall asleep Sunday night, knowing what awaited you the next day, but you had enough good memories to get you through the door. So come Monday morning, you weren’t actually dead as you got to class, unlike most of your peers.

The professors weren’t all going to be kind, so it was back to work like before. This was the final stretch for you, focus and study hard, and you’d be graduating. A part of you couldn’t actually believe it, but you had to, you couldn’t fuck this up. So you put a lot off to the side, including the boys. You still texted them, but you couldn’t do any mini dates, and they were very understanding. Even if you were the one working your butt off, they were just as nervous and as excited as you were. Although all that focus distracted you from something that was just as important.

“Holy shit, I’m late.”

“What?”

“I was due like last week. Fuck.”

“Aren’t you on the pill?”

“That’s not foolproof.”

“Fair. Are you sure it isn’t stress though? I’m pretty sure I’ve missed a period or two cause of classes.”

“I don’t think I have before…”

“Well you are gonna graduate in a month. That is if you pass your finals.”

“Don’t fucken jynx it!”

“I’m just saying. You’ve probably never been stressed like this before. Athletes wind up not having a period for months cause of the stress they’re under.”

“I’m not a professional athlete.”

“Then go buy a pregnancy test and see if one of your sugar daddies is gonna be a father.”

“I wouldn’t fucken tell them. We’ve always been careful.”

“Then it’s just the stress. Problem solved. Also, don’t you have class soon?”

“Fuck. I do. I’ll get a pregnancy test later.”

“Cool, see you later.”

You really didn’t think you’d be pregnant. You were careful, for the last four years, and you were very sexually active. Mina had a point though, you were under a lot of stress with graduation, but you had to be sure. Thankfully instead of buying one you remember the boys had given you some when they got you the pills. After classes you returned and used one of the tests, relieved to see it came out negative. So it really was just stress, and you were quite amazed it could do that to your body. Regardless, that was one less thing to worry about.

To a degree you did feel bad you couldn’t see the boys after spring break, it had been quite a trip considering it was the last, but your academics were important. They wished you luck with finals, and you were ready for the last major exams of your life. You waited anxiously for the results, overjoyed that you had passed, and you were going to graduate. You had to celebrate, doing so with your friends. It was only once things wound down that you called the boys wanting to share the news.

“So, how did it go?”

“I passed… I’m graduating!”

“I knew you could do it.” Jeno cheered. “Our baby is so smart.”

“We’ve got to celebrate.” Johnny added. “Shall we pick you up?”

“I’ve already been partying, and I’m kinda spent. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Nah, it’s okay, you should rest. Don’t drink so much, okay.”

“I haven’t had a drink, can’t risk becoming a drunk mess before I take the stage.”

“Can we take you shopping!” Yuta asked. “Get you a nice dress for graduation?”

“I’d love that actually. Perhaps the one thing you guys can get me that I’ll keep.”

“If we don’t rip it off you.”

“True. Tomorrow then, shopping day.”

“We can’t wait.”

Shopping wasn’t something to make a big deal out of, but how could you all not be excited. You’d be walking across the stage in the outfit you bought today, it had to be perfect. Not to mention the five guys buying it might wanna destroy it later, so you had to get good pictures first.

“We were thinking, after the ceremony, we’d take you out to dinner.”

“The last dinner.”

“Of course.” Ten smiled. “If that’s okay.”

“Yeah. It seems like a fitting end for us.”

“You better not cry.”

“I won’t.”

“Hm, guess we’ll see about that.”

The big day brought on a lot of nerves, you could barely sleep the night before. Although when the sun was up, you and Mina were already getting dolled up, and she loved your outfit.

“You look hot.”

“Thanks.”

“So you really can’t come with me for dinner.”

“I already promised the boys. It’s the last one. Besides, I wanna see what kind of graduation present they get me.”

“Oh, they’ll probably give you a lot of money. Maybe a house.”

“That’d be awesome.”

“You better tell me immediately.”

“I’m sure I won’t be able to keep it a secret from you, so don’t worry.”

Even if you looked stunning, it was mostly hidden by the gown. Still, you looked incredible and you couldn’t believe you had made it to the end. When you headed to the ceremony you looked around taking it all in. Even if you wanted your family there, you knew things had come up so they couldn’t attend. It’s why you were so happy to see the boys, knowing they were there for you. Although they did embarrass you a bit, Jeno and Yuta having a big congratulations sign, the others swinging around noise makers. Of course it dragged to wait for your name, but when it was your turn up on the stage you had the biggest smile, finding the boys in the crowd to show off too.

You had tears in your eyes, so happy that all your efforts hadn’t been in vain. The boys had made their way over to you, embracing you in their arms, congratulating you over and over again. They said your tears were cute, but they were very proud of you. They even had flowers and a graduation bear as a present for you. They wanted pictures too, so you did your best to get rid of the tears and fix your makeup. After celebrating with your other friends and seeing the ceremony to the end you headed off to eat. You weren’t really hungry from all the adrenaline, but it was your last meal with the guys, and a very important one at that.

“You looked so beautiful up there.” Johnny complimented. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you could be there.”

“Us too.”

“So, what did you get me?”

“After you eat.” Ten said. “So be a good girl and have your fill.”

“I’ll burn a hole in your wallet tonight. Just watch.”

“I’d love to see you try.”

There was something so peaceful about this meal, and exciting. They all asked about your plans going forward, what you wanted to do. Of course this was where you’d part ways, but you knew there was always a chance you’d run into each other again. Despite all the good things, you couldn’t help but wonder what your present was. After dessert they finally presented you with a little box. Now your heart was racing. It could be a key to a car or house, or maybe a card to a bank account they had made you. Still, you thanked them all and opened the box. Your smile faltered as you stared at the contents, dumbfounded.

“It’s… it’s a pregnancy test…”

“Surprise!”

“I… I don’t understand…”

“Well, you always talked about your future.” Jaehyun explained. “And how we weren’t a part of that. It really hurt, but you were right. So we figured we should include ourselves in your future.”

“I’m not… following…”

“You’re late, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I took a pregnancy test already. It came out negative. The stress-”

“The one I gave you was fake.” Ten said. “It’s meant to come out negative.”

“What… what are you…”

“The best way to become a part of your future is for you to have our kid.” Yuta stated. “Of course we’re probably not gonna know which of us is the biological father, unless you had like quintuplets, but we can raise it together.”

“What…”

“Of course we’ll cover all the expenses.” Johnny assured. “So you don’t have to worry about food, or a roof over your head, nothing. We��re gonna be a big happy family now.”

“You’re… you’re lying… you… I’m on the pill!”

“Those were also fake.” Jeno added. “A placebo thing, right? Like sugar.”

“You planned this!”

“How else were we gonna be part of your future?”

“Truth is we always imagined a future with you.” Ten admitted. “After about a year, we realized how great you were, how perfect you were for us. So when you suddenly broke it off, we couldn’t believe it, but you were also right. We never really let you know we wanted you, so that’s on us, but we’ve rectified that now.”

“You’re fucken lying!” You stood up. “You did not get me fucken pregnant!”

“Shall we go confirm that?”

You were furious, and you hated that they were throwing this idea out so casually. You took the pregnancy test and stormed off to the bathroom. They had rented out the whole restaurant, so you didn’t have to worry about anyone else. You nervously used the test, scared to look at the results, but they were clear as day.

“Positive…”

“Congratulations!!!”

The boys had followed you to the bathroom, cheering and letting off confetti poppers. You stayed frozen in shock, trying to process this.

“It’s wrong… the test…”

“You can try again.” Jaehyun threw more pregnancy tests on the floor. “Better to use more than one anyway.”

“You… you…”

“Even if there wasn’t a baby inside you right now.” Yuta explained. “We’d have plenty of time to impregnate you now that you’ve graduated.”

“No… no you’re all fucken nuts…”

You threw the test in the trash and intended to leave, only for Johnny to grab your arm, holding you back. Jeno was all over your belly, grabbing it and making baby noises.

“Easy now, baby. Now that you’re carrying our kid, we gotta take special care of you.”

“I am not having this baby!”

“That’s not up for debate.”

“It’s my body! And you fucken-”

“You think you can just play with us for four years?!” Jaehyun grabbed your chin, making you face him. “Four years, baby doll. That’s a lot of time to fall in love with a beautiful body and the girl that inhabits it. We weren’t playing, and we’re not gonna let you either. Your future is ours.”

“Fuck you! I didn’t consent to this! I’m not-” Jaehyun’s grip got tighter. “Let go…”

“You gotta be careful baby, don’t want you hurting yourself or the kid. We have a nice place picked out where we can look after you.”

“Let go!”

“Listen closely, darling.” Ten had Jaehyun let you go, stepping before you. “If anything happens to that baby, you are going to pay dearly for it. And don’t get any silly ideas in your head, you’re still young and very fertile, we have no problem tying you up and breeding you every night if something happens. So be a good girl, and smile, you’re gonna be a mother.”

“You’re crazy!”

“And you’re very hormonal, must be the baby. We should get you home.”

“No, no! Fucken let me go!”

“I can’t wait for the pregnant waddle.” Jeno cheered. “You’re gonna get so big!”

“I wonder if it’ll be a boy or girl.” Yuta said. “Maybe there’s more than one in there!”

“That’d be so cool.”

“We’re gonna be dads!”

“I can’t wait!”

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mggsv · 11 months

Text

Little Gub

f!reader x mgg (angst)

summary: it’s been years…a very long time. her hair was fluffy just like his- her smile a carbon copy. her dark hair, eyes and tan skin were all traits of her mother, but you could still see him in her as they laughed together, Matthew..

warnings: mentions of miscarriages and sex

“Well which one does the princess want?” you hear a male voice on the verge of laughter.

“That one- that Barbie comes with a car like the one i have!” came a little girl’s voice afterwards, in which the male voice laughed. “Of course you can Little Gub.”

You knew that voice- all too well. It’s a voice you wish you’d forgotten. One that you didn’t want to think about, yet it replays in your head everyday.

You close your eyes tightly, counting softly to 5. You were scared, knowing that if you opened your eyes he’d be there, and with her. His little angel..his pride and joy. His daughter. She was all grown up now- she was turning 6 soon. You’d never forget when he told you- how excited he was when she got pregnant..when she had her. How you were his first phone call when she went into labor..how after that day you never talked to Matthew again.

Your eyes welled up with tears, but you didn’t want to cry, let alone go into a full on panic attack in the mall. You were shopping for art supplies. You owned a shop nearby- business is good..you’re good, or so you told yourself. Tucking your head into the bags of yarn in your hand you walked pass them as fast as you could. Your heart raced, the tears fell.

“no no- don’t do this to me now..” you whispered to yourself. Only a few steps left, you told yourself. Only a few more steps until you could breathe the fresh morning air and get into your car and forget it ever happened. Only a few..

“Ow!” you snapped back into reality, looking down at her..and one of your bags that laid by her feet.

“oh-! I’m sorry- I’m so sorry.” you scrambled for the bag, cursing yourself in your head. “I’m very sorry..”

“Y/N?” You hear his voice- he said your name. You haven’t heard it fall from his lips in years.

“I’m very sorry-“

“Y/N- it’s okay, it’s alright she’s just dramatic.” In which the girl sticks out her tongue. You gather your bag together and apologize again.

“It’s been a long time, we should hang out! Matter of fact- Little Gub’s birthday is tomorrow, how about you come?” You shake your head,

“I’m sorry- I can’t.” Your hands were shaking as you brushed past him, shoulder bumping his arm..it makes you suck in a shuddering breath as you bolted for the doors to freedom.

The trip to your car felt like a lifetime. Once you were in you turned on the ac, not even bothering to put in your seatbelt. Once you could finally..finally sit back, you cried. You let the last seven years out- hell, you screamed even. you can still hear it..the words leaving your mouth that day- that day that it got worse.

“..another miscarriage.” you had muttered to Matthew. You swallowed down the tears and smiled. “It’s okay though- we can try again, there’s nothing wrong with trying again.” You began to walk away to the front desk when he grabbed you from behind, his head leaning into your neck.

“I’m sorry-“

“It’s not you Matthew, the doctor said nothing’s wrong on your end..it’s me, but we can try again..” He didn’t miss the way your shoulder’s shook as you held back the flow of tears. You didn’t want to cry. You cried the first two times..by three you decided that doubting having a baby won’t allow you to have one- and now with four, it was the hardest thing ever. What hurt you the most was Matthew blaming himself for your misfortune. The doctor told you both it was impossible because of your infertility.

“I love you.” He whispered afterwards…

Over the course of six months after that you didn’t ignore how sad Matthew looked- how disappointed he’d be when the pregnancy tests came back negative, or when you bled within your first week of carrying what could be your child. It was eating him alive, and you couldn’t handle it.

You stopped having sex. You couldn’t even look at him without wanting to break down. You found yourself apologizing to him when he held you in bed..you cried together.

You ended things. You couldn’t help but smile when you did so..you didn’t want to cry, but you didn’t want to lose him either. It was only months later he met her…she was beautiful the first time he’d talked to you on the phone about it. You stayed up for hours listening to his ranting. It was like you were best friends again, before you caught feelings for one another..

They got together shortly afterwards, and again he told you all about it. How happy he sounded..

She became pregnant the following year.

You didn’t miss the excitement in his voice as he talked to you on the phone. He was on speaker, you only stared at the phone through the tears that raced down your cheeks.

And then she had her..his Little Gub he called her, Clementine Marilyn Gubler. He called you before she went into labor, you didn’t pick up a phone call after that day. You read his texts to you- her name, how big she was- he told you everything.

He was finally happy..it’s what you wanted, something good for him. And you…You’d be okay. Therapy was nice for a while, the meds worked wonders. You didn’t like being sober enough to think about them..the happy family Matthew had that wasn’t yours.

You moved on…you found your shop, it was your home your everything. But you knew..something was missing, something you’d never get back.

A knock on your window made you jump. You look over, Matthew’s face smiling sadly at you. He looked over the tear stains on your cheeks, Clementine in his arms. You let down the window as he slides a piece of paper to you, an invitation. It was pink with Barbie on it.

“My number’s on the back, give me a call okay? I’d like to talk again, Y/N..”

He gives you a head nod as he pulls back. You roll up the window and watch as he walks away.. he wasn’t parked far. You can see him kiss her head before putting her in the backseat of the car.

He stared at her for a minute…and then there was a smile. You watch Matthew get into his car, but you were already gone by the time he drove away.

You could help glancing at the pink invitation in your lap, knowing you wouldn’t be showing up

#mgg #mgg x reader #gender neutral reader #f reader #matthew gray gubler angst #angst #female reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #pregnancy #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

Note

WIBTA if I told my partner I didn’t want them to be polyamorous in our relationship despite being poly myself?

This one is a little complicated. My (20NB, they) partners (varying ages/genders) are plural and all part of the same system. I am in a relationship with the host (25NB, he/she/they) and several of the others in their system. I’m polyamorous, so this is no problem for me. We’ll call the host Leaf for now, since he’s one most involved here. We have been together for over a year now and I love all of them very much.

Leaf is close friends with someone we’ll call Chair (?NB, they). I am friendly with Chair, but I mostly hang out with them with Leaf, and they’re still more Leaf’s friend than my friend. Leaf and Chair knew each other before I met Leaf. They dated in the past, but broke up and remain good friends. I don’t know the details of their breakup, but I think Leaf said both of them felt they weren’t in a good place to date at the time due to life circumstances. They broke up ~6 months or more before Leaf and I started dating. Chair is kind and fun to hang out with, and they seem a really good friend to Leaf even though I don’t know them too well.

Leaf and I were talking about 3 months ago, and she mentioned to me that she was unsure if she might still have feelings for Chair as well as for me. I was unsure of how to react, but I wanted to support them while they worked out their feelings. Leaf also told me that they hadn’t told Chair we were dating, because they didn’t want Chair to feel bad since they initially broke up due to being in a bad place for relationships. Leaf said that both me and Chair are equally important to them, which I completely respect. I don’t think romantic relationships should automatically be more important than platonic ones, and of course it’s important to me that Leaf can have relationships outside of me. Leaf said he still was not sure, so he was going to give it more thought. I asked her to tell me when she had a better idea of her feelings, and we left it at that. A month ago, I asked Leaf if they had thought it over any more, and they still weren’t sure. We haven’t discussed it since. Our relationship has been wonderful otherwise, and I love him to bits.

Having said that, I’m still kind of anxious about it. As the TLDR said, I don’t think I’m comfortable with Chair and Leaf dating, but I feel like I’m being really unfair because I’m dating Leaf and many of the others in their system. I feel that it’s different, because obviously Leaf knows my other partners very, very well and is close with all of them. I don’t know Chair well and while they seem really nice, I don’t think we have a lot of interests in common, so we never hit it off.

I’m worried I’m invalidating Leaf’s system with that attitude though. Members of a system are often unique individuals with their own personalities, memories, preferences, and identities even though they share a body. This is at least true for Leaf’s system. I would never want any of my partners to feel like I didn’t respect and love them for who they are as individuals. Some of my partners within the system are dating each other, but this has never bothered me because I knew both of them really well. I felt I could trust that it wouldn’t hurt our relationships because of that.

Chair and Leaf also know each other really well. A part of me is anxious that because they’re so close, Leaf might have a stronger romantic connection with Chair if they dated and not want to be together. I know I have trust issues (thanks, PTSD) but I don’t want to let that overwhelm or control me in this situation and hurt my relationship. I trust Leaf deeply, but I just don’t have that level of trust with Chair.

I trust Leaf not to cheat. I know he would respect my decision if I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with him and Chair dating, but I don’t want to hurt him or his relationship with Chair. I also don’t know if Chair would be open to a polyamorous relationship, and even if they are, I don’t know if I would be good at navigating that dynamic with someone I’m only a friendly-acquaintance with. I know Chair is important to Leaf and I don’t want to hurt them because of that. I feel like I’d be a huge jerk if I forced Leaf to choose between their feelings for Chair or their feelings for me; I know how heartbreaking it would be to have to choose between my partners.

I don’t think Leaf is doing anything wrong here, because she has been open with me about how she feels and I’m grateful for that. I don’t think people can help catching feelings for others, because as long as they don’t act on them without their partners’ consent then it’s harmless. This is not a case of cheating, in my opinion.

I just don’t know. Am I being an asshole or being controlling/possessive here? Would it be okay if I told Leaf I wasn’t comfortable with them and Chair dating? Am I having a double standard by being in multiple relationships but not wanting Leaf to date Chair? Am I completely overthinking this??? I’d extra appreciate if any systems/plural folks or polyamorous people have any input here. I am new to having a poly relationship and I’m not really sure of the “etiquette” beyond open, honest and frequent communication. I’m also not a system so I don’t know if I’m actually being invalidating of Leaf’s system by not wanting Chair and Leaf to date while dating Leaf’s alters, or if I’m just being paranoid. I do plan on being open about this with Leaf if it comes up again; I just want to organize my thoughts on it first and get a gauge on if I’m being a jerk. My relationship with Leaf is the best one I’ve had. I don’t want to ruin it.

Also, hopefully this is a given, but please don’t be rude about systems in the replies. I love my partners exactly the way they are.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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jackchampiongf13 · 7 months

Text

Come Back… Be Here

Jack!Championx!reader

Warnings: Angst but a happy ending, swearing, kissing, let me know if I missed anything!

A/n: I’m not super proud of this but I need to post something. Also I am sorry that I haven’t posted anything! And a big thank you to all the love on my first post. Also lots of Taylor Swift references in this hehe😛(I didn’t proof read it too so I hope it’s all good)

This is when the feeling sinks in. You realize that this is happening. He’s breaking up with you?

“Y/n” he gets out barely because of the tears that were clogging his voice up. “I love you. I will always love you. I just am so busy and you deserve better than me. Way better then me.”

You look at him with disgust. It’s 4am and he’s saying it in a simple way. “I really told myself ‘don’t get attached’ what the fuck Jack” you couldn’t help but be mad. You don’t blame him though. Your mad at yourself.

“This is all my fault is it not?” You say looking down. “No it’s not, don’t blame yourself Y/n. I love you but with me now going on press tour and doing interviews we won’t have time for each other. You’re already super busy with senior year of Highschool and so am I, even if I am homeschooled, I still have to do all of that then go and talk about avatar to a whole bunch of strangers!”

“Jack, it’s okay! Take me with you” You plead trying to reach for his arm.

“No.. your not getting it.” He says pulling away from your reach.

“What am I not getting?” You just want him to hold you and never let go.

”This isn’t fair to the both of us. It will just add more pressure and stress to everything. Go to college and get your degree. You’ll meet someone better and marry them like you’ve always wanted.” It hurts him to say this.

“I don’t want anyone else I want you. Just you.” Pleading for the last time. You finally meet his eyes as you try to embrace him for a hug. He take your arm and rubs it for a second. “I will always love you.” He says as he gives a peck on your forehead.

You watch him walk away. Your jaw is dropped. How could he do that? And at 4 in the morning? A/n: Jesus Jack we just wanted to sleep🙄

————————-—————————————————

It’s been 6 months since the breakup. It took you awhile to be happy again, but it happened. Well for the most part. You had just graduated high school, it was now July. Even after the breakup, you were still his biggest supporter. Even if you never talk to him anymore, you still stalked his Instagram and TikTok.

He was in New York today. And so were you with your whole friend group to celebrate graduation. He had posted on insta. “Oh god, Betty!” You scream.

“Are you okay!?” She runs out of the hotel bathroom. “He’s here. In New York.” You smile a bit.

“No Y/n. Not again.” She snatched your phone to look at the post. “Holy shit isn’t the hotel he’s staying at just right down the road?” She questions herself. Your eyes widen. “Wha-“ you try to continue talking but get cut off by her horrible sheirk. “Shit Y/n he swiped up on your story.”

“Give me back my phone!” You take it and half swipe the chat. Jack: Hey! That’s so funny you’re here too! I’m right down the street maybe we should go get coffee? I mean if you’re ok with that. I miss talking to you.

You smile to yourself. “He misses talking to me…” you say with a hopeful tone. “No Y/n! Not again!” She takes the phone but it’s too late. You: Hey Jack! Of course I would love to go get coffee with you and catch up!

“Oh no no no. I’m deleting it” Betty says. “Support my decision Betty. Just go hang out with James today!” You say rolling your eyes and snatching the phone once more. “Fine this is me supporting you” She smiles and give you a peck on the cheek. “Text me if you need me! Love ya!” She says as she begins to walk out to her boyfriends room.

“Yup” you sigh as she close the hotel room door. Was this a bad idea? We’re just friends that’s it! You jump out of bed and put on the cutest outfit you could find. Which ended up being a blue crop top that brought out your eyes and black leggings. This was a basic outfit but it was pretty crappy out and you just felt good in it.

You text him letting him know that you’re free whenever. He texts back immediately. Jack: uh I can rn if that’s good

you: duh that’s fine lmao

Jack: want me to come over to your hotel and we can walk together?

you: sure! My hotel room is ts13 at the eras hotel!

Jack: Be there in 10

“Shit. I have to do my hair and makeup.” You say out loud You: can you maybe give me 20

Jack: lol gotta do your makeup I assume

you: you know me all too well

Jack: Taylor reference?

You: Duhhh

Jack: ok go get ready for me

get ready for him? Damn instant butterflies.

—————————————————————————

You finished your makeup and had one more section on curling your hair when you hear a knock. You run to the door and see him.

“Hey gorgeous!” You can’t help but say as he looks down and blushes. This is what always happened when you said that. He didn’t wanna show you he liked that nickname but you knew.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming, but instead of getting coffee together I just went and got your usual. I hope that’s ok.” He looks back up at you as you notice he looks you up and down. You blush at the thought of him remembering your favorite order

“Thats totally fine! Come on in” You say in a very loud and happy tone. “I need to finish my hair really quickly. Just give me 5” you smile at him. He smiles back with his perfect white teeth smile. You feel butterflies creep on in your stomach. “I can do it for you! Remember that time I did your hair.” He laughs as he recalls the past. “It was a disaster oh my god! I remember that so well!” You shout from the bathroom. He comes in the bathroom to help “I trust you Champion” he just smiles at the nickname and takes the curling iron.

“Ow!” You scream as he burns your neck by accident. “Shit oh god I’m so sorry beautiful” the pain disappears as you focus on him for a second. He used to call you that when you guys dated. It was your favorite nickname. “Are you okay?!” He quickly asks as he turns the water on to put cold icy water on the burn. “Y/n?!” You smile at him. “I missed this a lot Jack. I missed you” he stops trying to put water on your neck and looks deep into your beautiful eyes. “I still love you” he quickly lets out but then covers his mouth. You can’t help but smile. “I still love you too.” You don’t care about the pain in your neck anymore and jump into his arms as you kiss him. “We will make it work this time” you smile to him “I’m not ever gonna let you go” he says into the kiss. “I didn’t want to miss you like this” you laugh after breaking this kiss. “Come back, be here in this kiss” he says again as you laugh knowing it was a Taylor reference.

#jack champion imagine #jack champion fluff #ethan landry x you #jack champion #spider socorro #spider soccoro x reader

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idontplaytrack · 28 days

Text

Pick Up The Phone

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, coarse language, descriptions of anxiety & disordered eating behaviour. Reader discretion is advised.

In which reader hasn’t respond to Janis’ texts in a day and Janis tries to call her multiple times but to no avail.

Please excuse the lack of formatting / separation of paragraphs😩 enjoy this drabble!

The day Janis found out or rather, realised, what you’ve been dealing with, you would’ve thought that she would dump you if you didn’t know her any better. She began noticing a pattern emerge about half a year into the relationship- on weekdays, you’d claim to wake up at 6:30. And have breakfast by 7:00. Now, if you were even just a minute later, you wouldn’t have anything to eat until they let out for lunch at 12:30. On weekends however, Janis picked up that you’d essentially been eating one meal a day sometimes and trying to convince her that you’d already eaten. Little by little, more and more of your behaviour unveiled it to her- your meals shrunk in size on certain days, but other days, it was ‘normal’. You’d act as if you didn’t just restrict yourself the day before. It was like pendulum, either one way or the other. Also little by little, Janis’ worry grew. She was thinking about how to talk to you about it. But she was rendered clueless despite how straightforward she always was.

The only way she had realised was because of how much time she’d spent with you to know your routine by heart. Once she’s got a hang of it, it began to seem clear to her that your relationship with food was not so good.

Janis was no stranger to self-loathing- so she knew whatever this was, it was a terrible thing, and detrimental to both your physical and mental wellbeing. She thought that you were the most beautiful person she’s ever laid her eyes on, and Janis always tells you that. But she also knows that your mind wouldn’t let you take her word for it. She’s had some moments like these of her own.

“y/n, pick up your phone.” She left you a message. Message number five.

You haven’t been online since after school yesterday- after some guy at school made a comment about how you were ‘spilling out of your shirt’ and how you were going to be ‘ripping your pants’. Janis immediately gave those guys a piece of their mind, but there was no turning back for you- those comments made you feel like crap, way worse than you’ve already been feeling after some stupid remarks from your Mom the night before about similar things.

Janis just knew it in her heart that you wouldn’t be picking up her calls anytime soon, so after school, she went over to your place. No one answered the door but she lets herself in, knowing where the spare key was hidden. She heads up the stairs to your room, and there you were. Thank God. Thank fucking god you didn’t just leave your phone at home so that it would show your location as that.

“Babe.” She knocks on the door and you got startled.

“Shit, why are you here?”

“I told you never to do that- I get that you’d want some time alone, and some space. But always, always tell me. You can’t just not respond to anything I’ve sent you and expect me not to worry one bit.

“Okay, leave me alone.” You shrugged, not even looking at her.

“It’s too late for that now.” Janis almost scoffed, but held back, “I know you haven’t eaten all day. So we’re gonna make sure you eat something.”

“I don’t need to.” You tell her.

“Yes, you do.” She sits down in front of you and grabbed your hands, “Look at me.” You refused to, so she repeated herself. Reluctantly, you turned your head to look at her. “Have you not been hearing the same things I do? I don’t need to be eating.”

“No one should be denied food- not when they haven’t eaten anything. We all need some food to survive too, and right now, I know for a fact you haven’t eaten.”

“Believe me…I’ve tried my best to let them just run their mouths, but I can’t fight them and the voice in my head forever. As hard as I try, they always win. I always fall and can’t-”

Part of her was a little angry, but she soon shook off that feeling and listened to you- putting herself in your shoes.

“I’ve been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. It’s hard, Janis. So fucking-”

She engulfs you in a hug, rubbing your back. That’s what you needed, instead of having someone raise their voice at you- you knew Janis meant well, but unfortunately, your parents? Not so much, they both only spurred on your disordered eating, saying that it’d be great for you to lose weight. So, well- your brain has somehow been conditioned to listen to their negativity over the years. That’s always how it’s been like for you- that’s all you knew. But when Janis found out, she didn’t get mad at you, she was patient and wanted to know more about how she could help you. She’d opened your eyes to how things were supposed to be like when you were struggling. You’ve spent years shoving it way down, or channeling your focus on the wrong things that have been harming your mind and body. The effects have become apparent- Karen mentioned how much weight you seemed to have lost last week and that triggered an anger in Janis that she didn’t know she even had. But of course, Karen did not mean it in a bad way. She never really does mean anything she say in a negative way. Also, no one knew about what you were going through other than Janis. So there’s that.

It took Janis a lot of coaxing to get you to eat something. But first thing’s first, was what to eat. “We can cook it together, alright?”

You nodded in agreement, leaning against the kitchen island as she stood before you. “How does some pasta sound?” She suggested, “We could do a broccoli and cheese sauce, add some ham for protein?”

Yeah, Janis has learnt a thing or two. Including the fact that it tends to help you be more okay with eating if you two prepared the meal together and ate together. Or for her to just keep you company while you ate. You were quiet for a little bit to think about that and any other options. You agreed to her suggestion.

“Alright, attagirl. Let’s get cooking.” Janis smooches you on the cheek. She grabs a pot, filled it with water and a pinch of salt before letting it come to a boil, “What kind of pasta do you want, baby?”

“Um, the bowtie ones.” You decided. She grabs that particular bag off the pantry shelf and handed it to you. You poured some out into a bowl then put the snack clip back to keep the bag closed. “Okay, that’s good.”

Once the food was all done, you and Janis sat on the floor, at the coffee table in the living room to eat. “I know that sauce came from a can, but it’s really good.”

“I know.” Janis chuckles, “Might need to convince my Mom to switch over to this brand now.”

You smiled a little bit, “Jan, thank you for being so patient with me. I really appreciate that, even though sometimes when things get bad, I lash out. I want you to know that I don’t mean that. And please don’t hesitate to snap me out of that, or yell at me.”

“Babe, yelling at you is not the way to go. I’m never gonna do that when you’re having a bad day especially.” Janis told you.

“I’m just saying, if the time comes when you need to yell at me for anything else. Please just yell at me and tell me to wake the hell up.”

“No promises.” Janis shrugged, “I love you too much to be raising my voice at you, baby.”

You gave her a full smile this time, “I love you so much, Janis. You make me so fucking happy. The most happy I’ve ever been.”

“I love you more, baby.” Janis brushes her thumb over your knuckles, “I’m always gonna be here for you. Call me or text me, show up to my house whenever you wish to. Okay? No matter how busy I am, I’ll always make time for you. I’ll always pick up my phone for you.”

“I’ll make sure to tell you if I sense things getting bad again because I know you’ve been trying to help, and I am so thankful.” You promised.

Janis nodded, a smile now plastered on her face as if reflexively, “Thank you for trusting me and loving me for who I am.”

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis ‘imi’ike x fem reader #x reader #female reader #reader insert #queer #lgbtqia #lesbian #fanfiction #oneshot #angst #mature themes #reader discretion advised #drabble

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edenfenixblogs · 3 months

Text

Spent the day with a friend and it was so fun. If every day could be like today, I’d stay where I currently live.

But even we very carefully avoided discussing המצב so it was still like we were living in different worlds.

The closest I got to bringing it up was when she complimented the Drawfee posters on my wall and I was like, “Thanks, I’m looking to replace them though.” It was a belated bday celebration for her from when I was out of town and had to miss her initial celebration. I didn’t want to be a downer, so I avoided bringing it up as much as possible and I def didn’t tell her I’m moving within the year.

She will easily be the person I’ll miss most here. She’s been the only person I can text about antisemitism any time, but I think even she may have muted me on here. Which I understand. But the people back home haven’t muted me. And I don’t have to pretend to be ok around them.

And ultimately, I’m living half a life here because I don’t want to beg people to care about me. And if my suffering is so great that they have to look away, then it should also be enough for them to check on me about proactively.

Hanging out with a friend and not talking about everything was so nice it was like breathing fresh air after being stuck in a musty cave. But she went home and I feel like I’m suffocating again.

It’s so overwhelming. The isolation is so impossibly overwhelming I cannot even begin to explain it to people who aren’t going thru it.

It’s the kind of thing that would make me ask myself, “Is it me?! Is it just that I’m bad to be around and that nobody likes me?” Except I know it’s not, because a whole group of people back home—both related to me and not related to me—do actually get it and check in on me. When the chips are down, I know they have my back more than anyone else. And so for me and for the future I’m building, I have to go back.

It’s such a brutal blow. But this friend? I will miss her more than anyone else in this whole state and I hope she doesn’t fall out of touch with me. So many emotions, dudes. It’s all so much. I keep wanting to actively unpack the trauma of it all but I can’t because it’s still happening.

One positive thing that comes from all this is that can move up my timeline of when I start trying to get pregnant, which is awesome. I’m ready for that part of my life. Even though I’m sure maternity leave in my new state will suck worse than it would here, financially and time wise. But at least I’ll have a lot of familial support when I’m back home, which I wouldn’t have here.

Now I just gotta pray I’m actually able to get home and that I’m actually able to get pregnant. 😬😬😬😬

#personal #trauma stuff #SMBC journey #some good stuff #some bad stuff #life and the future are complicated but very worth living

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eternalbuckley · 10 months

Text

You are wonderful in the way you are. — eddie munson

SUMMARY: You are bisexual, and you were trying to find a way on how to come out to your friends. Telling Robin and Steve was the easy part but you were anxious about telling Eddie the truth about you. You really wanted to because he was your closest person.

word count: 1,499

genre: fluff, comfort | gn!bisexual!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: slight description of anxiety and panic (from reader), relationship status with eddie is not described (you can see it in the way how you want), y/n is used a few times, crying/tears, slight jealous eddie, use of petnames (Sweetheart, Angel and Darling), it‘s not proofread, english is not my first language — let me know if i forgot something!

a/n: pride month is ending tonight and I wanted to officially make my comeback to writing here after almost a year. and OF COURSE to write something small for Eddie and bisexual!readers. I am bisexual myself and haven’t come out to anyone in the past few years yet excluding social media. Which is why I really wanted to write this. So whether you are bisexual or not, you‘re valid and I’m so proud of you! Never change because you’re awesome!! Happy reading 🫶

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

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You closed your eyes and hugged Robin and Steve back very tightly. Your body was still a bit shaky but you slowly calmed down while no one said anything. A smile slowly made up its way to your lips because you knew they supported you. You knew Robin was a lesbian and Steve was the most supportive person you‘ve ever seen after Robin came out to you a few months ago. You knew nothing would happen or you hoped nothing would. Anxiety still won when you were sitting with them on the floor in the back of your house.

"I… I mean we are so proud of you." Robin said with a smile while her and Steve let go of you.

They both took your hand and Steve nodded, agreeing with Robin.

"I am glad you trust us so much." He added and you let out a small laughter with slight tears in your eyes.

And that‘s how you spend the rest of the night: Talking about your, Robin‘s and Steve‘s different crushes. Filled with many laughter and tears. Some out of sadness but most of them because you all were happy for one night.

Weeks passed by since you came out to the both idiots you loved so much. You grew closer than ever before and that‘s when Eddie got suspicious. Of course, you all were friends that was nothing new but you being so close with them. Usually, you guys would hangout every Friday night and get high together to just enjoy the time together. But you skipped these nights the last two weeks now and he was scared to lose you for whatever reason.

The thing is, you wanted to spend time with him but you were scared as well. You wanted to tell him the truth about yourself as well and you already had a plan. But you were too scared to be alone with him. You had a lot of serious conversations before but this was the most scariest thing you ever wanted to talk about. With Steve and Robin, it was an easier thing because you knew they would support you. And you were sure Eddie would too but you were still terrified. Steve and Robin comforted you and told you that you should take as much time as you need. They didn’t want you to worry and pressure yourself into coming out to Eddie. Both of them knew how close you and Eddie were and that this was very important to you.

You were currently getting ready to hang out with Steve and Robin again. It was a Friday night and you wanted to watch a movie with them. But there was one thing you forgot to cancel: the planned movie night with Eddie. You were deeply into listening to your music and danced to it without noticing Eddie standing in the doorframe of your room. He was led in by your parents. They liked him and were happy you had someone to spend time with. He watched you with an admiring smile and tried to make no noise.

You were still dancing and the moment you faced the door you let out a small scream. "EDDIE! What the hell!" You held your chest.

He chuckled and pushed him off the door to step into your room. "Hi there, Sweetheart."

"H-hi." You looked at him, nervously. You now remembered that you forgot to cancel the movie night with him tonight and kicked yourself in your mind. "What are you doing here?"

"We planned a movie night, you remember?" He slumped down on your back with a big smile.

"Oh... Yeah sure." You turned around to your mirror. You tried to think about an idea to get out of here.

His smile faltered. "You forgot it. Am I right?" He sighed. "Thought we could spend some time again I haven’t seen you in a while now."

You looked at him through the mirror and saw his changed mood. "I did. I‘m sorry.. I." You put down your perfume bottle. "I had plans with Steve and Robin."

He looked at you. "Again?" You nodded your head.

"You‘ve been having our with them a lot for a while now. Is there something I should know, Y/N?" Eddies voice sounded sad but there was a slight hint of jealousy.

You didn’t answer him but bit your lower lip. You knew you couldn’t run away from this moment forever and would have to face it someday.

Eddie sighed again and got up. "You don’t have to tell me. The next time you just shouldn’t forget to cancel our nights. You know? Unless you want to stop it completely, the I‘ll have to accept it."

You turned around and faced him but were quiet.

"Fine. If you don’t want to talk with me that‘s fine but.." He hesitated. "I deserve answers."

You nodded your head. "Yes. Yes, you do, Eddie."

"Then give me answers, Y/N. At least answer me why you keep avoiding to hangout? Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No! Of course not. It’s nothing about you. It‘s just…" You sighed and closed your door, signalling him this was something serious. You sat down on your bed, hands getting sweaty.

Eddie still stood in the middle of your room and had his eyes focused on you and only you. He noticed the change of your body language and immediately sat down next to you and taking your hand.

"You know you can tell me everything. I won’t judge you."

You looked up to him and had tears in your eyes. He looked softly at you and squeezed your hand.

"I‘m not sure about this, Eddie." You eventually whispered.

He knitted his brows together. "I could never judge you, Sweetheart. Never ever. I swear on my life." He put his other hand over his chest, like the dramatic king he always his.

This caused you to chuckle and he smiled because of it. "Y/N, if you don’t want to tell me, it‘s fine. I don’t want to pressure you into telling me what‘s going on. I can wait."

You shook your head and looked down to your both hands. With the other one you wiped away your tears and deeply breathes in. You were nervous. Extremely nervous.

"There‘s something I‘ve been keeping from you, Eddie. And it‘s a really big thing for me." You closed your eyes for a second. "I‘m scared of telling you. I... I‘m scared of all the possible reactions you could give and I‘m scared it will be one of the bad ones."

He looked at you but didn’t say anything. Eddie wanted to give you as much as time you would need — even if it would take all night. He would be there for you. His kind was working on all the possible things you could mean but he had no idea of what you would say next. It could be everything. But he for sure knew, whatever it is he won’t judge you. He never could, you‘re way too important and special for him. He admired you in the way you are, no matter what.

"I... I am bisexual, Eddie." You breathed out, hands still shaking, and you didn’t dare to look up to him.

Eddie sat there in silence. A big and generous smile appearing on his lips. He immediately hugged you and kissed the side of your head. You didn’t say anything and hugged back. Tears flooding out of your eyes because all you were feeling right now was relief.

A few minutes pass by without any words until Eddie loosened the hug to look at you. "I am so proud of you, angel. You know that?"

You looked at him, the tears slowly stopping and chuckled a bit.

"I am so glad you trust me enough to tell me this about you. And I couldn’t be happier to keep this with me forever." He wiped away your tears. "You‘re wonderful in the way you are. Your sexuality won’t ever change this picture of you. Okay?"

You nodded your head and smiled at him. "Thank you, Eddie. You have no idea how relieved I am now."

He smiled at you and hugged you again. But he knitted his eyebrows together again, he was curious. "Is this why you cancelled our movie nights?" He wasn’t angry or mad.

"Y-yeah. I‘m sorry. I know it‘s stup-"

Eddie interrupted you. "It‘s not." He looked at you again. "I should be sorry."

You raised your eyebrows. "Why should you be? I cancelled them not you. I didn’t say why."

"I was jealous." He admitted.

"Jealous? Of what? Steve and Robin?" You slightly laughed. "Oh my god you were!"

He looked down embarrassed but laughed with you. "Yeah, I was."

You squeezed his hand. "There is absolutely no reason to be jealous, Eds. You will always be my guy." A smile appeared on both of your lips.

"And you will always be my sweetheart."

#⚘; — my writing ✧♡#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #stranger things imagine #stranger things fluff #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things angst #eternalbuckley

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ijustreallylovethem · 1 year

Note

can i request something where luke is dating reader and the hughes don’t initially like her

i changed it to be just jack because i couldn’t come up with a reason for all of them to not like her

it was jack that met you first. well, not met so much as saw. he was sitting on the couch when luke brought you through the front door, not ben stopping to say hi before bringing you down the hall to his room. jack was immediately calling quinn, telling him what just happened. he noticed you were hanging around quite a bit after that, and he didn’t like it at all. you and luke hadn’t stopped to talk to him once and when jack tried to bring you up to luke when they were alone, luke didn’t want to talk about it. so jack took it upon himself to make up the narrative that you were not a nice a person, only using luke for something, though he hadn’t quite figured out what. he tried to complain to quinn, to get him on his side in not liking you, but quinn was more understanding and reminded jack that luke liked his privacy and you probably did too. it didn’t change jacks mind.

it was two weeks after the first time jack saw you that quinn came to new jersey for a canucks versus devils game. with all of their boys in the same place, jim and ellen decided to fly in for the game as well. by now, the whole family knew of the girl that luke had been hanging out with (due to jacks complaining about you, unfortunately) and ellen asked luke to invite her for dinner after the game. luke extended the invitation and you were happy to accept, which lead to where you are now. you were all sat around a table at an all-night diner, discussing the game. the devils had lost, unfortunately, but you congratulated quinn on the win after being formally introduced to him.

“so, y/n,” ellen spoke up, “how did you and luke meet?”

“oh, well we actually had a class together and ended up in the same group for a project. i ended up getting a job out here and then we ran into each other one morning getting coffee and decided to catch up. and now we’re here.” you sent a smile to luke, who sat next to you, and his cheeks flushed the slightest shade of pink.

“so you graduated early then?” quinn asks and you nod.

“i graduated a year early because i did a lot of credits in high school but the class i had with luke, i actually was supposed to take a year earlier but my advisor got things mixed up and i got into it late.”

the conversation continued as you all waited for your food but jack just sat back and watched. it was becoming more and more apparent that you weren’t using luke for money or fame but jack still held his little grudge against you. it wasn’t until everyone was almost done eating that jack finally spoke up.

“so you are you guys like, together or…” luke sent a death glare toward his brother but you just shrugged.

“um, we haven’t really talked about that yet,” you said softly. the air was awkward, just as jack intended for it to become. ellen spoke up, bringing up some random news story she had heard about to try and clear the air, and for the most part it worked. jim payed for everyone’s food, despite you telling him that you could pay for your own, but he insisted. when you were all leaving, jim, ellen, and quinn waved goodbye as they got an uber back to their hotel and luke asked if you wanted to come back to his place. you smiled and nodded.

“i’m just gonna run to the bathroom real quick, you guys can head to the car,” luke announced. jack had drove so he got in the driver seat and you climbed in the back, knowing luke would want to sit in the front.

“sorry for kind of ignoring you whenever i would come over by the way,” you said, looking up into the rear view mirror. jack was looking at his phone and didn’t spare you a glance. “luke told me that he didn’t want to have to explain our ‘relationship’ to you just yet so I should just follow him to his room if you were there. i felt bad but i didn’t want to make it awkward so…” you shrugged, trailing off and looking out the window. jack looked in the rear view now, finally understanding that if he should be mad at anyone, it’s luke, not you. but before he could say anything, the passenger door was opening and luke was in the car.

“okay, we can go now.”

#blurb #luke hughes #umich hockey

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rootbeerworshiper · 3 months

Text

Normal (part 7)

pairing: fem!character + matt sturniolo

summery: Abigail and Matt have been best friends for years and practically grew up together. the two hiding their feelings for one another, until one stupid drunken dare changes things.

warnings: slight anxiety attack at the end but nothing too major

love, sienna <3

abigail’s pov again!

i’ve been back home for a few days now.

well, not home exactly, i haven’t spoken to my parents in years, but Marylou always insists i stay over for the duration of my visits so that’s exactly what i do.

it’s been good being back though.

i missed Nate so much and i’ve basically been hanging out with him every chance i get.

we’ve already have two “family” movie nights which i cherish more than anything. cuddling with Chris and Trevor on the couch wearing Christmas pyjamas even though it’s summer and making jokes with Jimmy about stupid shit.

i’ve also had Marylou there for me, teaching me all her favourite recipes that she knows her own kids will never be capable of making.

i wasn’t “home” but this is the closet thing i have and i’m content with that.

i’ve seen my sister too, it’s a little weird when you go from seeing someone everyday and crying in their arms to getting coffee once every few months, but i think it’s best for us to be on our own for the most part.

trauma bonds some people, and it separates others, just wish the ladder didn’t happen with us.

being back was needed, it always is.

i moved out to LA purely because of Matt.

when we were kids the plan was always for me to go wherever he went, though i’d much rather stay in Boston, i was happy anywhere as long as i was with my best friend. i needed desperately to be with him at all times.

speaking of my best friend, things have gone back to normal, and i think i’m okay with it.

i’ve been journaling a lot more, trying to process all the emotions i’ve been feeling and it’s been helping a lot to map everything out.

sure, it hurt getting rejected, but it’s nothing i wasn’t expecting. Matt’s my best friend, i can’t expect him to want to be anything more, it wouldn’t be fair to him.

so things have been good.

we’ve still kept up with our late night Mcdonald’s runs where we talk about nothing and everything and watch the stars through the sunroof.

we still cling to each others side in social settings.

and we still help each other with our bad habits, even though for me it’s just an excuse to hold his hand.

although on the outside things were normal, something felt different, emotionally.

it’s as if he’s not telling me something, or maybe he’s just closing himself off. either way i don’t like how it makes me feel, and i don’t like that he has that effect on me.

i am still planning on telling him how i feel, at least i think.

i need the closure, even if his only reaction is to distance himself more, i can’t keep doing this to myself.

and maybe when he rejects me i’ll actually be able to move on and stop being delusional.

god i just wish he wasn’t so good with his mouth, that would make this a lot easier.

i sit in the back of the minivan with Nick and Nate to either side of me as we head on a small road trip to Vermont.

i’ve always loved the east coast, i love the way the trees over take the outdoors and i love all the wildlife that comes with it.

it’s also extremely nostalgic for me because it reminds me of all the Sturniolo road trips i’ve tagged along for growing up.

“are you sure you’re okay if we vlog this?” Chris asks, looking back to me as i zone back into reality. i bite my lip momentarily, because as much as i’d rather not be subjected to the hate that comes with being their friend, i also don’t want to stop them from making content.

so i nod. “yeah it’s okay, i feel like they already know me anyways so it should be fine” i shrug, referring to the viewers that have watched every video my best friends have posted.

but i’d be lying if i said i hadn’t, because i love watching them in their element.

“how much longer till we’re there?” Nick asks Matt, who’s been much more quiet than normal this car ride.

“like 15 minutes i think, we could’ve been there already if Abigail didn’t take forever getting ready” i gasp dramatically.

“i can’t believe you are throwing me under the bus like that Matthew cmon” i bring my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on them.

little do i know Matt’s watching me from the rear view mirror trying to hide his flustered face.

it’s quiet for a moment before the song playing on the speakers changes, and i know what song it is right away.

“Matt why are you playing this corny shit” Chris complains, running his hand through his hair.

i’m so incredibly uncomfortable because i know exactly what playlist is playing and now i know that Matt’s listened to the song that describes my entire life.

i’m not dumb, i knew he was on the playlist, but he hadn’t listened to it in so long and i had been playing it more, and well i love Lizzy Mcalpine.

Matt furrows his eyebrows. “i think it’s cute, you’re just incapable of being romantic”

Chris is clearly annoyed with that response, although it makes me blush slightly, i just sit and watch. “shut the fuck up Matt at least i have the balls to be honest”

i can see the way Matt stops breathing, as if he’s frozen in place. “watch your mouth Chris or i swear to god i’ll drive this car into a tree”

it’s awkwardly silent for a second. “okay! anyways what are we planning on doing when we get there” Nate chimes in, attempting to bring the mood up.

“wait oh my god can we please see the alpacas again i miss them” i chime in, a smile immediately forming on my face. i see Matt now smiling too, both of us internally reminiscing on how often we’d spend time with the animals together growing up.

“we definitely have to, i also wanna hit up the shops because they always have good stuff” he replies, looking to the rear view mirror yet again while waiting for a reply.

“maybe we can find stuff to finally decorate your dungeon of a room too” i joke, but i do mean it, i can’t stand a bland bedroom.

Chris of course is having the time of life laughing at this. “Chris don’t act like your room is any better you all lack interior design skills it breaks my heart”

soon enough we make it to the cabin we’re staying at, and i’m literally giddy with excitement. coming here never gets old.

somehow it smells better here, like the leaves provide a freshness you just can’t get in LA.

i grab my duffel bag out of the trunk and make my way inside, still smiling like a kid on christmas morning.

we situate in our rooms, i’m sharing with Nick as always but i definitely don’t mind because our late night talks bring me so much happiness.

for a moment i forget about Matt, i’m just completely and utterly stress free.

well i forget about him until i look over and see the way his hair falls perfectly just in front of his eyes. fuck i’m so down bad it’s embarrassing.

once we’ve set our selves up we decide to go see the alpacas first since i’ve practically been begging the whole car ride…

“OH MY GOD MATT STOP” i grab his arm and begin to run towards the alpaca enclosure “the ugly one is still here oh my god i love him”

he must be in a bad mood all of a sudden based on the lack of expression on his face and by the way he drops my hand. “yeah why wouldn’t he be? it hasn’t been that long since we’ve been here”

i try to hide the small frown that wants to make its way to my face. Matt was always my biggest supporter and even if he didn’t care what i was talking about, he’d be my biggest fan as i rambled on.

“okay wait we need to feed them they look hungry” Chris laughs, clearly not sensing the tension that was formed moments prior.

Nick walks over with Nate, camera in hand. i forgot that that was happening, a smile now making its way onto my face, although i definitely don’t feel happy.

it’s hard to avoid thinking about the pit in my stomach, but i’m probably just being over dramatic.

“look at his goofy ass” Nate says as he feeds the ugly alpaca Matt and i bonded over two summers ago.

we all take our turns feeding the alpacas and my mood takes a turn for the better. i have to focus on the friends surrounding me and forget about the boy i can’t stop thinking about.

the rest of the day is nice, just doing what we’ve been doing for years, buying the same snow cones and visiting the same stores.

nothing makes me more happy then spending time with my favourite people, as insanely corny as that sounds they are my chosen family.

something about the way i can smell the tree sap as i walk on uneven dirt roads while talking about absolutely nothing. i just really wish the small action of Matt from earlier didn’t effect my mood so much.

but him affecting my mood is nothing new.

by now it’s dark outside, which is my favourite time because of the sky. i instinctively go to tell Matt about the constellations i see in the sky, grabbing his arm without a second thought.

before he can even react i take my arms off of him, now remembering what happened earlier today. “sorry i just noticed the big dipper and wanted to tell you”

“okay” he replies shrugging and continuing to walk, not once taking a glance at the stars above us.

okay?

is that what we say to each other now when we express something we’re passionate about?

okay?

i cant hide the hurt on my face but unfortunately Nick notices right away, i can see the way the gears turn in his head and i know he’s about to say something so i shoot him a look. this doesn’t need to become a big deal.

so we carry on as normal, Chris and Nate throwing some huge stick into a nearby creek while Nick yells at them to stop.

leaving Matt and i standing in what was now awkward silence. not something i’ve had with him often.

we make it back to the cabin and i head straight back to my room. i feel so over stimulated and want nothing more than to take of my denim shorts and rot in bed.

so i do just that, for a moment anyways, just finally making myself comfortable with multiple fuzzy blankets when Nick enters our shared room and sits on the bed next to me.

i let out a sigh. i cant keep these thoughts to myself and although i normally tell Nathan, he’s busy having fun with Chris and Matt doing whatever it is they’re doing in the living room.

“Abigail” he states.

“Nicolas” i reply, followed by yet another dramatic sigh.

he shoots me a concerned look, it’s evident how well he knows me. “wanna inform me on what’s happening?”

i pull a blanket over my face and groan, before eventually coming back out to meet Nicks face still looking at me.

“are you prepared for me to rant for the next ten minutes?” i ask “i have lots to get off my chest”

he shuffles in bed, kicking off his shoes and placing a blanket on his lap. “i’m always prepared”

so i do what i warned him. i talk for the next few minutes, explaining my feelings, the moment in the hot tub, and how that all leads to now.

i try my best to avoid crying because a part of me won’t allow it. my dads voice echoing in the back of my brain telling me to grow up. “i don’t know what i did wrong, i don’t know what to do Nick. i cant live like this anymore”

he hugs me and i immediately break. every feeling i’ve bottled up for years pouring out into his chest.

he just rubs my back as i cry. he doesn’t even need to say anything.

and we stay like this for a while before i pull away.

“i just feel so stupid. part of me thought that the moment in the hot tub would lead to more. i thought that maybe he liked me back or maybe- i don’t know.” i sniffle, trying to gain composure because although i just let myself cry, i don’t feel proud of it.

“Abi you’re allowed to feel. you are a human being with emotions and you need to feel them.” i nod, a tear still making its way down my face. “i can’t give you advice until you speak to him. you’re right, this can’t go on anymore, but until you say something it will.”

“but-“ i begin

“but nothing. obviously he’s being an asshole right now but neither of you know where you stand and that’s confusing for both sides. you can’t keep this in anymore, it’s not normal nor is it healthy. okay?” he finishes, waiting for a response.

i sigh. “okay. not tonight though, i need to process what i’m gonna say i think.” i reply, pulling the blankets back up to my chin. “you can go hangout with them if you want i know i’m being annoying right now”

“don’t say stupid shit you’ll never annoy me.” he slaps my arm playfully, causing a smile to form on my face.

i don’t know why it feels so difficult to tell Matt how i feel. he’s my best friend. the only person in the world who knows everything about me, other than the fact that i’m in love with him. and it breaks my heart that i struggle to tell him.

i just wish it didn’t matter this much to me i wish i didn’t base my self worth off of how much a boy looks at me or if he’s excited about the things that make me happy. i’m nothing without him. i mean without Matt i don’t know who i am, and now he’s pushing me away all because of a stupid drunken fling

it breaks my heart that no matter how hard i’ve tried to suppress these feelings i’m forced to confront them. maybe i’m running away from what i feel, or maybe i’m choosing the safer option.

the option that’s supposed to leave me less hurt.

yet here i am with Nick sleeping beside me, trying to suppress more tears.

my heart rate increases and my breathing speeds up. god i feel so weak, so stupid, so hopeless.

if Matt were here he’d tell me to focus on my breath. he’d hold my hands and talk me through all my worries. he’d rub my back till i’ve fully calmed down and then do some stupid baby voice to cheer me up.

if he were here i��d be whole again, but he’s not, and i’m just here at three in the morning stressed and alone.

i need fresh air.

a/n: i kinda hate this i think but that’s okay lolz

taglist: @athaliahxoxo

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets fan fiction #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo

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polyamorouspunk · 4 months

Note

Curious what your thoughts are on ppl being "obligate" polyam?

I ask because I've been debating if maybe I might be because I feel so in love with my gf rn, but... I still feel like I'm missing something. Like. She feels like a single flavor of food that I like. But, as much as I do I couldn't live off of just that one thing yk?

It scares me though, because she's explicitly monogamous, so I can't really go out and explore and try it out to see if it's for me without losing her. I don't really know what to do. Or how much longer I should stay still feeling like this. Or if I should just dismiss it as baseless anxiety and just let myself enjoy being with her.

I'm so scared to break her heart.

And like, how can I do this? How can I seriously be considering losing her just to try something I don't even know if I need or will even like.

It feels wrong, I love her this is stupid. But I just can't seem to dismiss it. I mean, I'm literally typing this in the middle of a New Years Eve party because I just can't get it out of my head.

I think what you’re calling “obligate” polyam is what I call “inherently” polyam, where, it’s like, I WILL fall in love or at least crush on other people and want to date them at the same time no matter what, it’s not a choice it’s just how I feel.

I started this blog as an outlet for my anger issues which I now realize probably stem from my bpd and just to talk about polyamory- correct the RAMPANT misinformation people were spreading, but also, to talk about the stuff no one else seemed to talk about. I’m really lucky that my polyam mutuals post about all the wonderful things about polyamory- the love, the amazing partners, the memes, etc. But that left me needing a space to talk about what I felt the most- shame.

I came out at 17 as polyam and it was awful. I was terrified I was going to lose my partner over it. I was filled with this awful feeling of being a horrible person for not “loving my partner enough” and so worried they were going to see it as them “not being good enough for me”. I mean I was seriously broken up about it.

But my partner took it in stride. We made it work. But I still felt this deep shame that ended up leading me to decide to be monogamous just for them after a while.

I even started dating my now-again-gf while dating my primary partner at the time, and although she literally dated me while I was dating someone else and quite literally knows I run this blog, I still haven’t re-brought-up the fact that I’m polyam, and that’s 100% hanging over my head, especially with how infatuated I am with someone else right now, though we’ve talked about that a little.

I’m really lucky I have people like @eevyerndracaneon and the people in my polyam discord server to talk openly about the shame and guilt that I still to this day feel about being polyam despite running one of the biggest polyamory blogs on this website.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned though, it’s that monogamous people can be a lot more open-minded than you’d expect. I’ve never actually dated anyone polyam. All of my partners have been monogamous. And all of my monogamous partners have been fine with me dating other people while also dating them.

And a few years ago, my brother came out as polyam! And it was even harder for him than coming out as gay! And once again I was lucky enough to ride on the tailwind of him coming out first as the older one and also come out as polyam. Even my best friend and I have talked about dating and having an open relationship in the past.

It’s funny, and wild, how many polyamorous people you’ll meet out in the open once you come out too. My first semester in college, I was sitting in front of two older trans guys when I heard them talking about polyamory, and shyly I turned around and asked if they were polyam and they said yes, and they were the first polyam people I had met (that I know of).

Just a few months ago I was at a concert and sat next to a group of 3 people that were all really touchy and flirty, and since they were all really obvious about it I just asked if they were all dating and they explained their polycule to me and I was just like… me! That’s me! Me too! And they were SO happy to meet me back!

A lot of the other polyam blogs on here will tell you the same thing: it’s unrealistic to expect one person to fill every single want and need you have, and can put a lot of pressure on that person to do things they maybe aren’t comfortable with.

It’s not as unusual and shameful as you might think. It’s really all about conquering that inner polyphobia, which can be really hard, and is a process. Hell, I’m 24 now, and run this majorly successful polyam blog, and I’m STILL in my discord server like “guys idk how to tell my gf I’m polyam… again… uh… imma just not rn”.

Only you can decide what the best course of action for you is. I know I’ve lived fine with choosing monogamy and feeling like I’m missing out on some of my wants/needs as a sacrifice for a wholesome relationship I wanted to keep. A compromise, if you will. I also know that not coming out to my partner as polyam was eating me up inside at the time. And that when they did end our relationship and I was able to be with someone else I did realize things I was missing from that relationship and how GOOD it was to finally have those things.

Be optimistic. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, really, it’s that there’s more of us out there than you think, even if we go by different names, but also that monogamous people really can be open-minded and willing to share a partner.

#punk gets mail #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous

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batsahoy-edits · 1 year

Text

Eddie x pregnant reader

Warnings- implied smut, fluff and a tiny bit of angts?

Y/n and Eddie have been together nearly 4 years. Yes Eddie did finally graduate Hawkins high. With the help of his beautiful girlfriend. He got a job working at a gas station. While y/n works at family video with her best friend Robin and Steve. Y/n doesn’t really get along with Steve. She can’t pin point on why he doesn’t like her. She’s been nothing but nice to him since Eddie introduced them. Well 4 years past, y/n and Eddie live a few trailers down from where Eddie lived with Wayne. Y/n never minded where she lived as long as he has Eddie by her side. Of course not long after moving in together. Y/n became pregnant. It was a massive shock to the couple. Eddie nearly passing out after she told him. Wayne laughing at Eddie’s reaction when y/n told him. He was happy for them, concerned since they were still only young and not even married. Robin was jumping up and down. Naming the baby already. Y/n wasn’t even showing yet and Robin picked out names. Assuming it was a boy. Steve, well he was Steve. He was happy for them. When y/n told him all he said was “as long as I don’t have to babysit, I’m happy for you” easing the tension between them both. He became protective of her. Like a big brother. No one really knew why Steve switched from being distant to protective big brother. But it was nice all the same.

6 months since everyone found out about the pregnancy. Y/n belly popped. She looked like she was having twins. Dustin thought she was having more with how big she gotten. Causing a slap to the back of his head with his own cap from Eddie. The pregnancy hormones were all over the place. One time Eddie came home to a crying woman on the floor. Why she was in tears he doesn’t know. Because as soon as she saw him, she jumped him and kissed him all over. He didn’t even have time to say anything before she was tearing off his clothes right at the front door. Not that Eddie was complaining. But as time went on, Eddie became more distant. Barely even touching y/n. Of course y/n fearing the worst. So she did what she would always do when she’s feeling down. She goes and talks to Robin and Nancy. At Nancy’s house. Since that’s where Robin hangs out at most of the time.

“I don’t know Robin, he seems distant. He won’t even look at me. He doesn’t touch me. We haven’t had sex in ages.”

Robin and Nancy look to y/n sympathetically. Knowing it’s the hormones talking.

“I think he’s tired with working double time. He is working more shifts now that you’re pregnant” Robin explained. Nancy nodded and grabbed a hold of y/n’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“You should really talk to Eddie about how you’re feeling. He loves you. I’m sure it’s because he’s tired.” Smiled Nancy. Trying to ease y/n anxieties.

Robin and Nancy both know how hard this pregnancy has been on y/n. The pain she’s been in, the headaches, to top it off the anxieties. She loves Eddie she does. But she wants to know if Eddie still loves her.

“What if he has realised he doesn’t love me anymore? That now I’m pregnant he has to step up? What if he thinks I’ll ask him to stop with D&D and his band? I don’t want him to think his life is going to stop because he’s becoming a dad” y/n started to sob. It’s hard enough as it is without feeling like your whole world might leave.

Robin gives Nancy a look. A look that says she’s going to kill Eddie making her best friend feel like this. But it’s not just his fault. The pregnancy hormones has made y/n emotions much worse.

Robin and Nancy both thought it would be better for her, if she stayed with them until they knew Eddie would be home. Once Eddie phoned asking if she was there, Nancy drove her back.

At the trailer it was the same. Eddie barely looked at her. She kissed his cheek hello and he kissed hers. But other than that. Nothing. It was like Eddie just stopped loving her. They were both sitting on the sofa, Eddie surfing through the channels. Y/n couldn’t take it. The silence was deafening. She turned to Eddie, who was fixated on the screen. She sighed and got up to go to the bedroom. Eddie noticed and finally looked up from the tv.

“Everything ok sweetheart?”

Y/n made a little sound and nodded her head. Eddie knew all to well she wasn’t. He was scared to ask further. She’ll either bite off his head or cry. He doesn’t know what to do with either of them outcomes. Eddie watched as y/n disappeared into the bedroom. She closed the door, which Eddie found odd. She never closes the bedroom door. He knows something Is definitely wrong. He puts down the tv control and gets up to see what’s going on. He doesn’t know if he should knock on the door, or if he should walk in. She doesn’t seem like she’s in a good mood so he knocks so silently that he thinks she wouldn’t hear it. He was about to knock on the door again when y/n opens it. She’s changed out of her clothes from earlier today into his Hellfire shirt. No trousers on. It’s not unusual that she’s wearing his clothes, in fact she always wears them. But seeing her in his Hellfire shirt with her swollen belly, something snaps in him. He looks at her with hungry eyes.

He doesn’t even know she’s even talking to him until she shouts his name.

“What?”

“I asked what your doing standing in the doorway”

“Oh, erm. I wanted to see if your ok”

“Well you’ve seen I’m ok”

Eddie shakes his head and puts his hands up to either side of the door frame. Blocking y/n anyway of getting out. He comes out of his daze and looks at y/n with a frown.

“Now sweetheart, I know you’re not ok. You’ve been off for weeks. What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been off for weeks? I think you’re mistaken. I’ve been fine. YOU have been distant”

“Me? What?”

Before Eddie could even comprehend what she’s saying, or even gets to finish his sentence. She asks him something with such a broken voice, his heart breaks at the sound.

“Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do. Why would you ask that?”

“You don’t look at me or touch me anymore”

“Oh baby, it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s- Jesus. It’s because every time I look at you with my child growing inside your belly? I go feral. I don’t even know if I could control myself. If I do get my hands on you, I’m scared I’ll hurt you and the baby.”

Y/n looks at Eddie moving towards her, so slowly she feels like it’s been hours. He reaches for her hands and hold them to his chest. So she can feel his heart beat. He looks down at her and smiles.

“You feel that? That’s how fast you make my heart beat. That’s what you do. Of course I still love you. It’s just you look so fucking sexy with my baby inside of you, even more so now you’re only wearing my Hellfire top. I just want to tear that off of your body and have you right now”

“Then do it. Don’t worry about the baby. You won’t hurt them. Or me!”

Eddie hesitates for a second, but the hunger and love in his girlfriends eyes proves to him that she’s serious, that she wants him as much as he wants her. He doesn’t know how he’s gotten so lucky to end up with the woman of his dreams, but having a baby with her. Makes his life so much better. Hell. He might even make her his wife.

@duberach @katie190297 @storiesforallfandoms @citychick86

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things s4 #eddie stranger things #eddie my beloved #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie fluff #eddie smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie x reader #eddie munson x female reader smut #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie fanfic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x reader fluff

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britcision · 1 year

Text

So I’m thinking about this again and I think a lot of the dislike for Vivienne comes from missing the metatextual layers of her character

Obviously she’s always a bitch and I love that for her, 10/10 step on me energy and if she was lighter she’d have been Lady Dimitrescu a few years early

But there are two different layers of subtext that I can see in her character that at the very least have made it really hard for people to explain why they don’t like her

Long and involved discussion below the cut, pack a lunch

Let’s start with the most common complaints:

1) she’s mean. Y’all love that in plenty of other characters though, so there’s something different about Vivienne that makes her being mean so much more offensive

(I wonder what it could be.)

She’s even mean in an overly polite, very delicate way with lots of honeyed compliments and stark disagreements

2) she’s a cop apologist who thinks the circle system works

Ignoring for the moment that people seem to have far less animosity for Cullen, who Literally Is A Cop and believes all the same things

(I wonder why.)

This is where the metatextual layers come in though, so bear with me:

Vivienne’s view point, that the circles are essentially good and while Kirkwall clearly wasn’t and needed to be destroyed, that was the exception instead of the rule, is the dominant viewpoint in the game

Even hanging out with the mage rebellion at Redcliffe, the greatest concentration of mages who should be pissed about the circle, every single minor mage NPC is against the rebellion

They’d rather be in the circles, but left because otherwise they’d be alone and murdered

There MUST be a number of mages who’ve experienced the worst of the circles; enough of them voted to rebel to carry these outliers like a tide

You never fucking talk to them

Not one

Fiona, the leader who started the vote to rebel, has nice things to say about templars if you speak to her, and still wants to reform the circles. She’s just realised it won’t work from within, and accidentally almost sold the mages into indentured servitude (if you picked the mage route)

This isn’t a subtle thread, it’s glaringly obvious if you pay even a little attention. Even mages who started as apostates tell you the templars are not all bad, and “it’s complicated”

Now, I haven’t played DA2 or seen a full play through, so this part is pure speculation, but.

The biggest complaint I see about DA2 is that you can’t help Anders blow up the chantry.

You have to be shocked by it, despite giving him the dynamite, and everything about how DAI refers to it tries to push that he was an extremist and hurt the mages more than helping them

(Also mysteriously every circle Cullen is at tends to fail soon after, despite him being extremely pro templars. Very interesting, completely unrelated)

And I think that’s why you’re surrounded on all sides by “not all templars” in DAI

I think someone at the top level was fundamentally confused by the reaction to DA2, because I think someone at that level thinks the moral quandary of the game is “who’s right, the mages or the templars”, and they think it’s a 50-50

That’s why you can pick either side with equal weighting

They think there is not a right or wrong answer to this question

We shall be calling this the Supervisor level, since I’ve no idea who or where they are, but they’re definitely near the top rung because holy fuck DAI is beating us to death with “well free mages are bad actually and some templars are lovely people”

I think that the Supervisor level think Vivienne is right

This is a game that has gone to great lengths to portray racial equality (and emphasise species inequality as a metaphor that it clearly understands is bad), that worked hard to make incredible, gorgeously under-toned and perfectly lit dark skin options

All of the default heads for all of the playable races come with two gorgeous POC options that are hot out of the box

Vivienne herself is a character they’ve given the world to; she’s beautiful, powerful, independent, strong willed, beginning in by far the best position of any of the companions

Her first scene is her stepping in to effortlessly undercut an encounter with a pissy noble that you as the PC were not given a win condition for

She is the most influential mage in the game, Fiona is undercut by Alexis before even appearing, the Tevinter magisters are all suspect because who knows who is Venatori, Dorian is a pariah and a rogue, Solas is an isolated apostate

Vivienne is in the running to be the next fucking Divine if she joins the party

The people who approved each level of plot for this game gave this beautiful Black woman the world at her feet, persuasive dialog options, and the most widely supported opinion in the world of the game

(She’s not wrong that right after Kirkwall’s explosion is a bad time for a rebellion and makes it look like mages support murder; she just fundamentally does not understand that there would NEVER be a right time or how badly the other mages were being mistreated

She’s isolated on a glowing cloud of privilege, yet never mentions her childhood or early days at the circles )

Dorian will happily tell you that the Tevinter circles pretty much are what Vivienne thinks the Orlais circles should be; well established schools of learning and study where mages are protected and given room to grow

(He also admits disappointment that their templars are toothless and don’t actually investigate who’s doing the human sacrifices unless they’re poor or not well connected)

So our first meta textual layer shows that to the Supervisors, Vivienne is right. It should not be almost impossible to get high approval with her, because players should not all be on the side of mages

They specifically use mages to push “free mages are dangerous” because it’s harder to argue against

They’re prepared for people to go that route anyway, that route exists, but they expected it to be a pretty much even split, and for grey areas like “the circles are bad, but mages still need to be watched because demons will possess them” to be a strong part of the mage route

Even if you ally with the mages freely, you can tell every single ally in every single conversation that you lied, they aren’t free, you’re going to keep them in line

And this brings us to meta textual layer 2:

Someone (or a group) in the writing staff understands the actual dilemma of the game perfectly:

The templars are wrong, the circles are an oppressive system that cannot be fixed from within, and you are only barely able to advocate for them to be treated as people, against constant and heavy resistance

This shines through in ways that could almost be seen as coincidence, which is why I think the power balance is set up this way

Sera says it best when asked where she stands on the mage and templar war:

In the middle, because you only hear about mages when one gets possessed and blows people up, and you only hear about templars when they decide to steal a bunch of maybe-mages

On the surface, this sounds like a pretty flat 50-50, both sides are bad so why take a side

But when you actually look at the words…

You hear about mages when their bodies are taken without control and they are forced to do terrible things

You hear about templars when they decide of their own free will that they want to kidnap random people and make sure no one ever looks for them

Only the templars have agency in these examples

There’s also the simple fact that the main baddies in the first part of the game are rebel mages and rogue templars

Rebel mages are fighting for their freedom, notably split off from the main body of the rebellion, who have run for their lives and are hiding

Rogue templars just decided to stay behind when their powerful and influential leaders decided to pull out and stop protecting people, and none of the “good” templars tried to stop them

You are deadass not permitted to bring this up when you first go to Val Royeaux and the templars fully withdraw to their keep

It wouldn’t fucking go anywhere because ✨plot reasons✨ but the fact that there isn’t even an option to say “by the way come pick up your trash” feels telling

Nothing is stopping all these good templars, that we are constantly being told exist and have mage partners and all that, from trying to do something about the rogues who are murdering just anyone they come across

There is no system to stop the bad templars, or abuses in the circles, because the system is not set up to protect mages

It is set up to contain them, and keep them from causing trouble. Whether you do that by keeping them happy and compliant or beaten and locked in solitary isolation does not matter to the system

But guess which one is easier, cheaper, and inevitable without any kinds of checks to make sure that the good templars are the ones in charge?

In this layer, Vivienne is laughably uninformed about… well, everything that goes on not under her nose

She’s so sure she’s the last First Enchanter left because she lives outside her circle, has the perspective of what common people believe, understands the political timing in the way the other mages

(Who are surely all just as comfortable and well off in their towers as Vivienne herself, who lives in a palace and visits the circle when she wants to)

can’t possibly grasp. Her whole first recruited dialogue is a list of increasingly passionate “why couldn’t they just sit tight and bear it until a better time came”

If you push all the way down she becomes more and more emotional each time, from her cool façade of “I know best, they’re being foolish” all the way to “they made it look like mages support murder”

It’s beautiful animation, incredibly complex and nuanced, and easy to miss if you write her off as a cop apologist and don’t drill down

I seriously doubt she even knows what restrictions were imposed by any of the circles, possibly including her own, cuz they sure as shit did not apply to her

Her party dialogue with Cole is actually another really good example of her just… not knowing what to do when the information she was given is wrong

She starts full of certainty, confident she knows more about demons than Cole or Solas (he asks why she’s scared of him but Solas isn’t, it’s adorable)

She accuses Cole of wanting to be more than friends with Solas, asking if he wants to possess Solas and keep him forever and stay out of the Fade with utter conviction

Cole understandably gets upset and tells her that he fully can’t go back to the Fade, and sometimes wishes he could

The motivation she’s ascribed to him deadass does not work, has been easily disproven in two sentences, and the conversation ends

Vivienne never replies, because this information doesn’t fit her worldview and she therefore doesn’t know what to do with it but write it off as a lie

Because on this level, which we will call the Writer level because it is most visible in the script, Vivienne is so much more than a cop apologist

Vivienne is the perfect demonstration of how an oppressive system cannot be changed from within, and what happens to those who try

Vivienne does not approve of abusive circles; she’ll tell you right off Kirkwall needed to be shut down

She just assumes that her circle experience is the more common one. That most of the circles are as lenient as hers, letting people live off campus if they have the right friends

Hearing her talk about the circles is actually a lot like hearing Dorian talk about the Tevinter circles (and yet he also doesn’t receive half as much hate.

How mysterious.)

Vivienne really thinks that the circles are all nice, comfortable institutions of learning and protection, and the mages who rebelled are brats who want to put their comfort over lives

She thinks circles like Kirkwall are outliers that need fixing, though preferably not by explosion

If Vivienne becomes Divine, Orlais circles go back to what they were, because she does not see the problems, does not listen to common people, and is comfortable under the status quo

It’s a fascinating combination of arrogance and misplaced modesty; Vivienne is special, incredible, the best for a reason. But she also thinks anyone else could have done as well, if they only applied themselves

That any other mage, in any other circle, could and would have her sphere of comfort and protection if they only tried

The system needs mages like Vivienne, powerful, cunning, persuasive mages, because they are its greatest weapon

She’s given a position of relative power and influence specifically to stop her from changing the system to what she believes it should be, by making her believe it has already been done

She defends the system from outside change because if it works for her, it must work for everyone, and they’re just being petulant, and she is isolated from anyone who could show her she’s wrong

She’s surrounded by the upper echelon of templars, who either have the appearance of being good, kind, noble protectors, or may actually be in her own position;

Being cosseted to keep them from making changes

It doesn’t actually matter if every single circle has fallen to the depths of depravity, abusing every mage inside it in obvious physical ways

What matters is that every single one of them can, and would the second one of the bad templars that everyone agrees are there, bad, and should be dealt with, got into power

There is nothing to stop any circle from becoming Kirkwall or worse, and that is why the system needs to be burned down from the ground up

They are jails, and the templars see themselves as jailers over people who never did anything wrong

If you wonder how that goes IRL, check out the Stanford Prison Experiment, then remind yourself that in the eyes of the templars being born a mage is a crime

And if you go wandering around and talk to everyone you can… there’s a Tranquil woman in Skyhold, your new creature researcher, Helisma Derington

(and HOLY SHIT the Tranquil will be a story for another fucking time, for now let’s leave it at “mages are uncomfortable around them and encouraged to see them as less than people for a reason”)

And Helisma will tell you she was made Tranquil not because of her magic, but because she was willful. That the time before she was made Tranquil was emotionally trying, but she doesn’t remember why

And ooooooh do I ever want her to have a talk with Vivienne, because holy fucking hell there but for the grace of God and all that, this lady cannot be a coincidence

And the Tranquil can’t lie

On this level, it’s actually much more important that Vivienne is a Black woman, and an intelligent, independent, powerful, canny Black woman at that

Because it shows that the system can and does work on anyone

There’s no identity that magically makes you aware of the inner workings of oppression, and you can’t opt out by being clever

Vivienne being so intelligent, so independent, so strong willed, is what makes her so very desirable to the system; she will be so much better at defending it once she is on the inside

Because oppressive systems that can be changed from within don’t last a decade. No matter how much you think so, you’re never the first to decide to change it

That’s why the system is built specifically to channel clever, capable, strong willed people into one of two paths: Vivienne’s, or Helisma’s

First the certainty that just kicking the system down and starting over would be so much worse. It’s dangerous, scary, and unfamiliar

Then the lure. Surely a Good Person at the top could fix all the problems. You can be the Good Person, make all of the changes, the system worked for you so it must have the potential to work for anyone if you can just fix those little problems

The isolation, being kept away or not seeing the people for whom it doesn’t work, never has, never will

Turning you against those who want to tear the system down, because clearly it’s personal. They don’t believe in you, they don’t think you can do it. You just have to show them, prove you’re right, if they’d just sit down and behave you could fix it all.

But do you need to? It’s already worked for you. It works under your nose, where you can see it

It’s nice, comfortable to be a mage in your circle, and you can’t be everywhere. The templars can keep their own people in line, they have the seekers for that

It’s too much money, too much work to look into every circle every day, week, year to make sure that no one is abusing the system, because the system itself is good

And frankly, that is a good chunk of why I enjoy Vivienne so much

She’s so utterly convinced she knows best, and the other mages just don’t understand, but she’s the one who really has no idea what’s going on

She’s so smart, classy and sassy, funny, and we will never hit a single point of agreement because she’s deadass just wrong

And there is just the smallest chance that if you keep her out of the system long enough, if you could introduce her to the right people and experiences in the Inquisition, she’d see how the system was using her

(And oh BOY would that ever be something)

And if she doesn’t? She has the same beliefs as more than half your companions. Wants the same things and speaks the same way as 90% of the minor NPCs in the game

(Seriously they are SO heavy handed with the “both sides” rhetoric that has to be intentional too)

Most of your allies disapprove of allying with the mages, though only your companions get the immediate little flash on screen

(You don’t get Viv’s Greatly Disapproves until the next time you talk to her, so you could probably technically avoid it and never speak to her again)

Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana are all quick to tell you you shouldn’t have done it, and should have talked to them before making a decision (I think there’ll be some disapproval if you freely ally with the templars too, but Cullen sure as hell approves of that one)

Tl;dr: the Supervisors think Vivienne is right about mages.

The Writers are using her to show how oppressive systems are designed to prevent people from changing them from the inside.

You don’t have to like her, but she doesn’t have to be right all the time about everything to be an interesting character

#dragon age inquisition #dai #dragon age #vivienne de fer #vivienne dragon age #the smartest person you know believes something really ignorant #misogynoir #meta #long post #with many opinions

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aikofanfan · 1 year

Text

Obey me, Themis!

Part 2 is out!

Summary: Rosa is your childhood friend and you decide to visit her and Luke. But it’s you. Things are never that easy.

Pairings: None. For now. I may fold on that in later parts.

Warnings: There is a small reference to Ep 3 of ToT, if you played it you know if not- drugs and child abuse. Very small tho just letting ya know.

A/n: Obey Me! x Tears of Themis crossover that was supposed to be a small dumb little drabble for shits n giggles became a bigger story with every word I wrote. So expect more parts cuz skdjsndns

“Wait really??!” Rosa jumps up from her desk, phone in hand and a huge grin on her face. “When? Around what time?? So soon?”

Everyone in the room looked at her as she walks around her desk, talking to whoever it maybe.

“No no my shift ends soon! Yes I know but I wish you would’ve called sooner I could’ve gotten food or something ready!” She laughs. “So much has happened since we last spoke!”

She walks and talks some more than noticed people staring. Ah right she is still at the office after all.

“I’ll see you soon!” She says before ending the call. She goes back to her desk and sets her phone down, Hm maybe she can get some take out ready to pick up if she orders now. She can get it on her way home.

“Rosa?” A sudden voice snaps her back to reality and she sees Artem by her desk.

“Oh hi Mr. Wing! Sorry about that.” She says sheepishly.

“It’s okay. Did something happen?” He asks, looking slightly worried.

“Oh no no not at all! That was my old friend MC!” Rosa explains. “I haven’t seen them in a long time and they called to tell me they’re coming here to Stellis!”

Artem recalls a few stories about this MC. Seemed like the polar opposite of Rosa when he thinks about it. MC had visited Stellis with family one year during their childhood in the summer and had gotten to know Rosa, they managed to keep in touch even after all these years as pen pals before exchanging phone numbers.

“They should be waiting for me by the time my shift is over.” Rosa glances at the time.

“Well if it really has been that long, you can leave now.” Artem suggests. Rosa doesn’t even fight it, jumping up and gathering her things and giving Artem a big hug and a quick thank you.

“Oh relax would ya.” You snicker, DDD in hand. “I’m not gonna get dragged into any of her cases. I’m not a lawyer or agent or whatever.”

You were outside of Rosa’s home waiting for her to get back. In the mean time you talked on your DDD with an over protective demon.

“You get dragged into all kinds of trouble without trying.” Lucifer sighed on the other end.

“Mmm true but still.” You snickered. “I’ll be fine.”

“MC!!!”

“Oop gotta go!”

You hang up and put your DDD away just in time to catch a smaller figure crash into you in a tight hug.

“Rosa!” You laugh and set her down. “Ah still so tiny.”

“Hey! I’ve grown at least a little bit!” Rosa pouts. “My boss let me out early and I got food!”

She turned around to grab the bag of take out she set down a ways away. Only for you to flicker your wrist and have it hover over and land in your hand.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” She says in awe. She was one of the few people outside of your family that knew about your mmm other worldly trips and lessons.

~~~~

From murder cases to crazy trails and tests to mundane things and a bit more still mundane things the two of you share many stories back and forth.

“Sounds like Luke is still Luke you’re still you.” You grin.

“Yeah and it seems you’ve changed the most.” Rosa sighs. You could tell there was far more she wanted to share but clearly had her reasons to keep quiet. You don’t mind, the life of a lawyer must come with its own secrets.

“Change? Nah. Still just as hot headed as when we were kids.” You wink. “Only my eyes glow green when I get mad.”

Rosa sits up straight and blinks at you. You only give her a lope sided smile and she giggled.

“If I wasn’t so aware of your adventures I would’ve questioned that a bit more.” She giggled lightly. “Oh! You should come with me to the office and meet everyone!”

“Will I get to meet this Artem Wing you always mention in your texts?” You ask and wiggle your eyebrows at her.

That got you a pillow to the face.

~~~~~

“MC!” Luke waves to you and Rosa as you walk to a big building. Themis Law Firm if you recall correctly.

“I texted Luke to see if he wanted to stop by and see you.” You hear Rosa say before getting hugged by said man.

“It’s so good to see you! When did you get here???” He pulls away and gives you that blindingly bright smile of his.

“Just last night.” You state. He doesn’t know about you and magic. It’s not that you don’t trust him it’s just…you just don’t think his heart could take it. Seeing as how protective he is with just Rosa. But enough of that.

“Hmmm I dunno Rosa.” You hum, hand on her head and raising it to your own than to Luke’s. “You still look pretty tiny to me.”

Rosa gasps and Luke does his best to hold in his laughter but that only annoys Rosa more.

“I am not that small!!” Rosa swats her hands on your shoulder and Luke finally loses it. It was this moment that made you realized you missed these two knuckleheads more than you thought. You want to share all your adventures with Luke and Rosa but you still remember how Rosa reacted on a video call when you told her why you went missing for a year.

“WHAT?!” She gasps and you nearly dropped your phone.

“Look I know it sounds crazy but-”

“Other realm or not that breaks so many laws! And you aren’t the least bit upset!?” She asks, propping her phone up and flipping through some folders. “Abduction, forcing a person to do something against their will, having no say in the matter, oh my gods!”

“Rosa hey relax!” You laugh. She smacks the folder in her hands down and gives you a bewildered look. “So you believe me?”

“Of course I do! I looked into your missing person case after you were declared dead. Nothing made sense and now you telling me all this, everything makes sense.” She sighed. “No signs of struggle, no one having it out for you, nothing. You just…vanished.”

“You looked into my case?” You smiled. Rosa once again looked at you like you were crazy for asking such a thing.

“MC, we may have known each other over a summer but you quickly became my best friend. Of course I would.” She stated like it was obvious. “You really aren’t upset about this?”

“No it’s…complicated.” You sigh but had a small smile.

“Sounds like you were the force of nature those boys needed huh?”

“YEESSS YOU GET IT!”

Rosa laughed hard at your outburst.

Back to the present, Luke had to run off but made you and Rosa promise that you all had to hang out together at least once before you had to go. Now you were walking into the building and heading to Rosa’s floor.

“Is that phone even sturdy?” You ask, eyeballing the piece of glass in Rosa’s hand that she claimed to be a cell phone.

“It’s a lot tougher than you think.” She says with such confidence she might give Mammon a run for his money.

“Oooh is this the famous MC we’ve heard so much about?” A new voice says as a woman walks over to you two.

“MC this is Celestine.” Rosa introduced and you shake her hand. More and more people come and go to meet you. Did Rosa really talk about you that much?

“You make me out to be some celebrity?” You teased and she just grins at you. You get to her little cubicle and sit by her, watching her work. You get bored within half n hour and start to spin around in the wheelie chair you’re sat in.

“MC don’t do that. You’ll crash into someone.” You hear Rosa warn.

“Oh I’ll be fine- OH SHIT-” You slam your feet down just in time so you don’t smack into whoever was right behind you. You glance up and seen cold blue eyes staring down at you. If you were a normal person you’d be intimidated but being around the likes of Lucifer, you just wave at the guy.

“Well hello there pretty boy.” You grin and hear Rosa choke on her tea behind you.

“And you must be MC.” He says.

“That’s me. And you?” You ask.

“Artem Wing.”

……..

“OH.” You stand up and bow a little. “I am so sorry, Mr. Wing! Rosa has told me so much about you! Ha ha ha!”

“Don’t be so tense.” Artem chuckled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You shake hands then sink back down into your chair. You glance over to Rosa who was currently coughing into a tissue.

“Well I’d say that’s a new record for me.” You grin then look back to Artem. “So!”

You stand back and give Artem a once over. He must’ve noticed as you see a bit of blush form on his cheeks and he fiddles with his tie.

“Rosa told me a lot about you as I mentioned and her description of you was spot on. Easy on the eyes and has gorgeous eyes too!” You state and hear Rosa make a squeaky noise.

“Well it’s almost my lunch time! Come on MC!” Rosa finally speaks up and grabs your wrist, dragging you away from Artem.

“Rosa also told me you got a nice waist. I can see it! You’re totally her type!”

SMACK

“CUT IT OUT!”

~~~~~

“I can’t believe you.” Rosa pouts and takes a bite of her sandwich. You two were in a park, sat on a bench under a tree.

“Am I wrong though?” You ask with a knowing look. She merely glares but shyly shakes her head.

“Knew it.” You say with a wink. You chat some more until a guy walks over.

“Hey Miss attorney. Who’s this with you?” He says, taking the empty spot on Rosa’s right side.

“Oh! MC this is Marius. Marius this is my friend MC. They’re visiting Stellis for a few days.” Rosa introduced you two to each other.

“Marius, Marius.. ah right.”

“Yep. Marius von Hagen at your service.”

“Oh I was gonna say the blueberry play boy.”

“Huh?!”

Rosa laughs as you snicker at the man’s expression. You remember Rosa mentioning a Marius in your texts and you gave him the title of blueberry play boy because of his hair and eyes.

“We’ve only just met and you’re already being so mean.” He says in a fake hurt tone. Now why does that seem so familiar?

“But truly I’ve met bigger names.” You state. “Not really impressed by titles nowadays.”

“Oh? Who have you met?” He asks, thinking you’re being serious. Meanwhile Rosa looks surprised, are you going to-?

“Nobody you need to know. Rosa has told me all about you so it feels like I’ve already met you and the shock has drifted away.” You joke and Rosa sighed. Just then your DDD rings and you get up. “Excuse me for a moment.

Rosa nods and you walk off to the side before answering. Right away you hear bickering on the other end, Asmo, Levi and Mammon if you’re hearing correctly. Of all the times to call-

“OI!” You snap and silence follows. “I told you guys I’d be busy the next few days. What is it?”

What follows was mingled words of Asmo saying Mammon stole his jewelry, Mammon denying it and Levi whining about-something; you aren’t sure what. You pinch the bridge of your nose, contemplating on whether you should text Lucifer for help or not.

When an evil idea comes to mind. You look over to the bench and no matter how they look you know Rosa and Marius are trying to listen in on the conversation. So you wave your hand and when they notice you, you point at Marius and make a “come here” gesture with your hand.

“Yeah?” He asks, confused. You mute yourself on your end and say:

“Just follow my lead, okay?” You say and he nods. You unmute yourself. “Look you guys, I don’t really have time for this.”

“But MC-!”

“I have a lot of sight seeing to do. You can be good and figure this out for yourselves right?” You ask. “I’m sure Lucifer can help sort this out.”

“Lucifer?” Marius asks and the three boys on the other side grow silent real fast. Got em.

“Who’s that?” Mammon asks.

“Oh this is Marius. He’s a friend of Rosa’s, I just met him.” You explain calmly. “He’s part of the Pax Group. The ceo if I remember right.”

“PAX GROUP?!” The three voices simultaneously shout, making you and Marius jerk back from the volume of it.

“Oi he isn’t tryin to steal ya away is he?” You hear Mammon hiss.

“Oh relax.” You rolled your eyes. “I just had him talk just to tease ya. Call it karma for the headaches you lot give me.”

“You’re so mean!” Asmo whines but you knew they were used to this. You tease but never mean any ill intent.

“Now if all matters are settled, I’m going to hang up now and you aren’t going to call me anymore right?” You state.

“But-”

“Right?” You repeat, eyes flashing green for a second. The three agree and hang up. You put your DDD away with a sigh and glance to the young ceo beside you. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Did your eyes glow…green? How did you do that?” He asks.

…oh shit-

“HEY ROSA YOUR LUNCH BREAK IS OVER LETS GO!”

~~~~~

“He noticed? Oh he’s not going to let that go.” Rosa sighed as she typed on her computer.

“I had a feeling he was that kind of prick.” You huff, slumping into your chair.

“He’s not a-prick- he just likes to tease. Like someone else I know.” Rosa comments, side eyeing you with a smirk.

“Are you saying we’re similar??? I’m hurt!” You gasp in fake offend. You two keep talking as she works, your head spinning at all the legal talk. It makes magic and potions look like pre school levels of easy in comparison.

“Using a kid as a test subject for drugs? Hmmm wonder if Diavolo could find that guy in the Devildom.” You mumble to yourself after Rosa explained one of the cases she worked on.

She looks at you, making a face like she wanted to say or ask something but frowns with a small pout.

“Something on your mind?” You ask.

“If you could find him that would really help things but- I don’t think that would be something that could be explained in court.” She pouts. Right. Things are still odd between the realms. You’d bet everything that Diavolo would help in a heartbeat but things aren’t that easy.

“Someday, Rosa. Someday.” You pat her back. To lighten the mood again you spin in your chair- and fall over with a loud thud.

“I’m okay!” You hold a thumbs up and hear Rosa laugh before she’s helping you up.

“You didn’t learn from earlier today did you?” She asks.

“Nope!” You grin.

“I’m assuming this is the MC I’ve heard so much about.”

You glance behind Rosa and see a man with glasses and Hm white? Platinum hair? Meh who really knows.

“Based on the way you dress, you must be V-” Rosa elbowed you. “-Dr. Richter.”

“Correct.” He chuckled as you rub your side, softly glaring at Rosa.

“Well look at that, I’ve met all three of these new guys.” You announced.

“Friends, MC. My new friends.” Rosa corrected you but you just shoot her a look. You bicker back and forth but feel eyes on you still. Looking up, Dr. Richter hasn’t moved or walked away.

“Something wrong, Doc?” You ask.

“No no it’s just-how do I put it. You seem different from others I’ve met.” He explains. Your eyes narrow, you can tell this man is far more than what he looks to be. Rosa must’ve sensed the growing tension before she wheels her chair in between you and this doctor, holding her hands up.

“MC is just a very interesting person like that. You know?” She laughs kinda nervously, looking up at the man.

“I’m not going to cause any trouble if that’s what you’re trying to imply.” You spoke up after a moment. “I’m just here to visit two childhood friends, is that so wrong of me?”

“No not at all.” Dr. Richter agreed. He gets called away and walks off, but you could still tell he was wary of you.

“He totally knows.” You said once you were sure he was gone.

“No I don’t think it’s that he knows, maybe he can just tell there’s more to you than meets the eye.” Rosa explains. “Either way, just be extra careful around him.”

“And by that you mean don’t knock his lights out.”

“Especially that.”

~~~~~~

“He’s just a Psychiatrist! Why was he sizing me up like some criminal?!” You pace around as you vent to Rosa and Luke. You were in Rosa’s apartment hanging out like Luke basically made you promise to do.

“I mean-are you?” Luke asks and you grab a pillow then chuck it at him. He laughs as he catches it. “He’s just like that. Comes with the job I’m sure.”

Grumbling, you slump back down into a chair. You shouldn’t let this bother you so much but it does. Then again you should be used to this, the students at RAD were the same way once upon a time.

“So how long are you planning to stay?” Rosa asks, effectively changing the topic.

“Not sure yet. Maybe a few days. I know you guys are busy.” You answer.

“Oh come on! Stay longer!” Luke urges. “We have so much catching up to do!”

“He’s right. I don’t have any major cases right now.” Rosa adds. They both give you puppy dog eyes and you groan in defeat.

“Alright alright.” You give in. “I’ll stay longer.”

They celebrate their victory and pull you into a small group hug.

~~~~~~

“You weren’t trying to test MC, were you, Vyn?” Rosa walks into the NXX headquarters with Luke behind her and clearly caught the doctor off guard with her question.

“Of course not.” He says. “I’ve met a lot of people in my line of work and there’s just something different about them.”

“You’d be right about that, Doc. I met them and their eyes glowed green.” Marius pipes up and oh boy.

“Green?” Artem questioned, joining the conversation as he walks over. Luke makes a confused noise and looks down to Rosa.

“You were seeing things.” She tried to shrug it off.

“They’re our friend, if there was something new with them they would’ve told us by now.” Luke spoke up, not liking how the others were acting as if MC was suspicious. Rosa nodded in agreement.

“Not like we have a right since we can’t tell them about this.” Rosa adds, gesturing to the whole headquarters. The topic is changed once Artem starts talking about a new case that came in.

Strange substances going around the city that’s causing strange side effects or worse, death. But no one knows where it came from or what it even is. It was like it came from a different world all together.

“It’s only been recorded to have be here in Stellis only as of right now.” Artem explains.

“And if we don’t find out where it’s coming from, it could spread.” Marius adds. Rosa looks at the sample careful that was in a small baggy. Reddish with bits of black and leafy like.

“May…I make a suggestion.” Rosa spoke up. All four of the men look at her. “I think I know where we can start.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #tears of themis #obey me x tears of themis crossover #obey me mc #tot rosa #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #tot luke #tot artem #tot marius #tot vyn #artem wing #luke pearce #marius von hagen #vyn richter

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