#I'm feeling evil today and am here for angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baby-yongbok · 5 months

Text

Manipulation

Han Jisung x Fem!Reader

-`♡´- Genre: Angst? Fluff? Both? Yeah... both. [Supernatural themes]

-`♡´- Summary: Jisung is all that you have and you're all that he wants.

-`♡´- Word Count: 6k

-`♡´- Warnings: Mentions of Blood (Like, a lot, though no one ever bleeds), Supernatural themes (Jisung and Reader have supernatural abilities), Violence (Not the physical type), Mentions of smoking weed (While driving/ do not do this please) and drinking (Not while driving), Speeding (Please don't so that, drive safely.), It gets a bit suggestive for a second, Interaction with law enforcement. [I think that's all.]

-`♡´- A/N: So, I'm a perfectionist and I get nervous when I can't write or post when I want to. I just started a new job and I'm applying to new colleges so ya girl is stressed out. To top it all off I got sick with the worst Hay Fever I've ever had today and I can't breathe (Love that for me). Soooo I had to reach into my vault and see what I haven't posted yet and I found this! This story is something that I wasn't sure that anyone would actually like 😭. I wanted to take a shot at writing something supernatural so here it is! I hope that you don't think that it sucks!+ the reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡. All feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading! 💗

-`♡´- Note - Hemokinesis or Blood Manipulation is the ability to control and manipulate blood.

-`♡´- Masterlist -`♡´-

We should have never met but the fact that we did means that chaos is a naturally occurring thing in this world. Why do I say that? Let’s just say that Jisung and I are not the type of people that you want around. We’re the exact opposite. Degenerates. The evil in a good situation, and we whole heartedly don’t give a fuck about the damage we cause because the only thing that matters is the fact that we have each other. We’ll always have each other. Now, what could we possibly do that’s so bad? We manipulate, but not in the way that you’d expect.

“Hey, bubs?” Turning to face Jisung from my spot in front of my closet I feel my legs weaken beneath me as I stumble backwards a bit, using the door frame behind me to keep me up. The feeling is gone just as fast as it came and I take a second to ground myself before flashing a well deserved middle finger in Jisung’s direction.

“Fuck you with the iron manipulation.” He erupts into a fit of laughter as I abandon the task of trying to locate the bag that he lent me that I’m more than sure is buried in my closet. I was going to be nice and finally return it but after that stunt I think that I’ll keep it for a bit longer. “You think you’re so funny.” I sit on the edge of my bed, glaring at my best friend as his laughs intertwine with the music playing from my speakers. He always gets a kick out of using his abilities on me, he’s had his fun now I’ll have mine. I lift my hand towards Jisung and his laughter stops instantly.

“Yeah?” With a grin Jisung looks around aimlessly. “Gonna take my sight away? You’re playing dirty now.”

“Oh am I? Come get me, Ji.” Standing and backing away from my bed a bit, I keep my control over his sight as he reaches out in front of him, swatting his hand in an attempt to hit me. I mimic his earlier laughter as he struggles to navigate the newfound darkness.

“Ya know, the good thing about my abilities is that, if I want them to, they apply to everyone in the room no matter if I can see you or not.” He clenches his fist and my body stiffens. “So now, you’re locked in place and I definitely can find you.” Standing carefully from the bed he holds his hands out to keep from banging into anything. I try to speak but the blood in my body is literally frozen under Jisung’s control, don’t ask me how I’m even still alive with one of the most important units of my life force frozen inside of me, I don’t know the answer. Nobody does. That’s why Jisung’s ability is so dangerous, it doesn’t make any sense. The only thing that I do know is that if I try to retaliate even a little I’ll be on Jesus’s doorstep.

“Mmm, I can hear you breathing.” He chuckles a bit as he takes his final step before bumping right into me. Unclenching his fist and freeing my blood from his bind he catches me as my body gives out from the sudden blood rush. His sight restores itself as I release my bind on his vision.

“Got ya” Looking up at him with angry eyes we both can’t help but to erupt into laughter. This is what we do, we use our powers to mess with each other and get what we want. There’s only a select few of us who can do the things we do, why would we want to waste it by doing what society wants us to? I understand that we can be troublesome from time to time like when we crash parties… or cars, but this isn’t our fault I swear.

If people didn’t think that we were monsters maybe we’d behave differently. If people didn’t think that Jisung was a criminal then maybe he’d be more willing to calm down. But no, because he is the only living person with hemokinesis in this city that we know of, he’s labeled as high risk and everyone is constantly on his back the moment he steps outside. There’s never been anyone willing to get to know him until he met me during our freshmen year of university. People aren’t too fond of me either, I guess having the ability to manipulate bodily function is scary? Seems pretty mundane to me. We were outcasts so naturally we gravitated towards each other and before we knew it we were best friends, partners in crime that promised to protect each other from everyone's nasty comments and condescending stares. That was short lived though because we both dropped out of university a month after we met.

The sound of The Neighborhood playing blares through my room and cuts through our laughter as we start to dance a bit as I regain my composure and even out my breathing. He sways me as we dance hand in hand through my dim bedroom before pushing me back onto the mattress and plopping down next to me.

“You know what would make this Friday night a real win?” He asks and I look over at him. “Weed and a couple of beers.”

“Then what are we still doing here? You’re driving.” Sitting up and grabbing my sweater next to my bed I stand with Jisung as we put our shoes on and grab our stuff. We leave my bedroom and cut through the kitchen to avoid my brother and father in the living room. The worst thing about dropping out of college is having to still live with the little bit of family I have left. Rent costs an arm and a leg around here so right now my minimum wage job won’t cut it.

“Going out.” I call to them.

We hear quick footsteps approach as I reach for the doorknob, before I can turn it completely my father appears to the left of us catching our attention. “Where are you headed?” He only wants to know so that he can listen out for any gossip later. He knows that Jisung and I will be the talk of the town if we do anything too extreme. I’ve learned that what everyone else finds to be extreme is very different from what we think. Death is extreme to us, a fire or a house crumbling to the ground, those are extreme events. To everyone else, either of us breathing is enough to get the damn president to send out the troops.

“Not sure yet, gonna drive around a bit.” I notice my step-brother standing behind my dad glaring at Jisung from over his shoulder. “Oh, Ji didn’t you want to head by that store?”

I take Jisung’s hand in mine and interlock our fingers. Both my father and brother’s eyes lock in on the gesture and they both seem to try and stop themselves from having a visceral reaction, they failed. Jisung catches on quickly and joins in on my little game. “Yeah, I did, they have a huge parking lot and it’s always busy. I thought we could go and put on a show.”

Jisung nudges me suggestively and I genuinely chuckle in response. What makes me laugh harder is my brother, San’s clenched jaw and my dads disgusted yet furious gaze locked on Jisung. I can tell that he’s praying that it’s a joke, praying that he and I aren’t really dating or fucking or anything like that. I’m sure that he would rather be stoned to death than hear me say that Jisung and I are dating. He’s so lucky that we’re not.

“Relax, I’m joking.” Jisung says before opening the front door and placing his hand on the small of my back. “It’s always empty so it’ll be a private show.”

I can’t help the laughter that escapes me as Jisung leads me out of the front door, swiftly closing it behind us. My dad calls after me but we just hurry over to his car like we didn’t hear him. “I’ll take good care of her.” Jisung yells back towards the house before sliding into the front seat and slamming the door closed.

“You’re horrible.” I scoff as I buckle myself in.

“You started it.” He shrugs as he starts his horribly old pick up truck and pulls out of the driveway.

As funny as that was, I know that I’m going to hear an earful later, especially from San, he’d kill Jisung if he could and I know that for a fact. San despises anyone with abilities but he has a special hate for Jisung, he’s gone on endless rants over the years hoping that one day I’d suddenly agree that he’s right and that Jisung is a monster, that day hasn’t come and it never will.

“You grab the beer, I’ll stock up on snacks.” Jisung says as he shuts his car off and steps into the gas station parking lot.

“Roger that.” I coughed a bit before ashing the tip of the blunt we were sharing. I’d be lying if I said that the weed we’ve been smoking for the past fifteen minutes wasn’t starting to get to me. I have a much lower tolerance than Jisung but you would never be able to tell since I’ve mastered the art of hiding it. Doing recreational drugs isn’t exactly welcomed at my house with my father being a part of the city government. Oh, did I forget to mention that my dad is the city attorney? How else do you think that Jisung and I are still walking free after all of the shit we get into. My dad might hate the guy but he’s saved us both more times than I can count.

We waltz into the store and go our separate ways to complete our mission. I head right over to the fridge housing our desired golden liquid and grab two cases, one of my favorite brand and one of Jisung’s. As I’m walking up to the front of the store I hear what sounds like aggravated voices going back and forth, when did that start? It was silent a second ago. As I get closer I realize that it’s the store clerk ranting at a now very aggravated Jisung. Seriously? We just left the house.

“All the stores in the area and this kid had to pick mine. We don’t serve the likes of you here.” Jisung hasn’t said more than two words to the guy since I’ve been standing here. He just lets him go on and on since we’re very used to this type of thing happening. They complain, take our money, complain some more and then we leave.

“If you’d let me pay I can leave.” Jisung states matter of factly as he slaps a twenty on the counter. “ I’ll take those cases too.”

I walk up next to him and place the cases on the counter. “I got this” I slip in front of Jisung and smile at the man behind the counter. He’s pissing me off but he doesn’t have to know that. I often try to intervene before things get too out of hand, especially when Jisung is high. He already has a fairly short temper and for some reason it’s way worse when he’s under the influence.

“This is all, sir.” I say to the clerk as I pick up the twenty and extend my arm towards him.

“You’re with that degenerate? Aren’t you Choi’s daughter?” Closing my eyes tightly I sigh keeping my arm extended towards him. Of course he recognises me, just wonderful. One of the downsides to being the city attorney’s daughter is that almost everyone knows your face. This is why I stopped going to those Godforsaken press conferences. “You’re gonna get yourself killed hanging with him.”

“No, it’s you that’s going to get yourself killed.” Jisung protests as he lifts his hand in that insufferable man’s direction.

“Ji, come on” The clerk behind the counter instantly starts to moan in pain so I assume that he is using his Thermovariance, in other words, he’s boiling his fucking blood. Not enough to kill him, just enough to nearly get a steam rolling.

“Han, seriously, let's just go.” He’s a sucker for me calling him Han, I never understood why but I don’t care as long as it gets me what I want.

He sighs, dropping his hand and rolling his eyes at me. He’s pissed off and I understand that but I’m not trying to build a criminal record at this age, maybe in my late twenties but not now. “Leave the cash, let's go before I empty him.” Placing the money down on the counter I grab some of the snacks and one of the cases of beer and leave the rest for Jisung to grab.

“Have a good night” I called over to the disoriented clerk before getting back into the car.

“I’m way too high for this shit.” Jisung groans as he lights a new blunt before starting the car. He takes a long drag before passing it to me and driving off. We get some ways down the road in comfortable silence before he breaks the barrier.

“Why do you still hang out with me?” I can barely hear his question over the music but he looks at me expectantly anyway. I shrug as I stare forward and focus on the passing streetlights.

“To piss off my dad obviously.” Jisung scoffs, snatching the blunt from me and bringing it to his lips.

“I always knew you were using me.” He shakes his head as he blows a thick stream of smoke through his nose in a deep exhale. “Such a bitch.”

Neither of us can contain our laughter as we fan at the cloud of smoke surrounding us. He may have asked a serious question but he knew that I wouldn’t give him a serious answer. We save the serious stuff for when we’re so stoned that we can hear colors and taste sounds, this is only the beginning.

“If I can’t use you for sex then I might as well use you for something.”

“And why can’t you use me for sex?” He quips back with a light chuckle. My red eyes meet his for a split second before looking down at the blunt that he’s passing me.

“Well first of all that’s disgusting and second of all I’m not trying to have my brother actually kill you. The only reason he hasn’t is because he knows that we’re just playing around.” I lean forward to ash the blunt on the dashboard and open the window to air out the car, the smoke mixed with the obvious sexual tension in here is suffocating.

There wasn’t an ounce of truth to me saying that fucking Jisung would be disgusting and he knows that, we’ve talked about this more than once. He thinks I’m hot which I find hard to believe since I’m not really a reflection of the girls that he likes to date. I’m thick, a lot thicker than anyone he’s ever slept with but he’s gone on several rants about just how much he loves my body so I have no reason to doubt the validity of his statement. Jisung on the other hand is exactly my type, honey skin and soft brown hair with a beautifully toned body and an impossibly tiny waist. He’s unreal and he knows it. Despite his social status there are a slew of women who are dying to piss off their families by having him dick them down in the backseat of his car on any given tuesday. They use him as revenge bait and he knows it but he doesn’t care as long as he gets to nut.

We’ve talked about things that friends normally discuss like when we lost our virginity or how many times we’ve touched ourselves thinking about each other, it’s all water under the bridge for us… I think. The tension between us always builds a bit higher on nights like this, I mean who doesn’t get horny when they’re high right? But on a serious note I can’t fuck Jisung no matter how attracted to him I might be because that would complicate things and he’s the only uncomplicated thing in my life. My dad and step-brother haven’t been the same since we lost my mom five years ago and then a week after that my sister fell to the same fate. My only remaining blood sibling wants nothing to do with any of us and San and I have an intricate relationship to say the least. Sleeping with my best friend would be like setting myself up for failure.

“First of all, that’s rude and second of all your brother loves me.” The teasing tone in his voice fades into a chuckle that prompts an eye roll from me.

“Do you want to kill everyone that you love?” He shrugs and hums lightly before glancing over at me with his eyebrows raised and his lips pulled into a thin line. “Fuck you, Ji.”

He laughs, eyes focused on the nearly empty street in front of him as we stop at a light. “I hope you know that I'd kill him before he kills me.” Jisung glances over at me, his features are cold and serious. I stare back at him, mirroring his expression the best I can before cracking a small smile. “I know where we can hide the body.”

“Fucking maniac.” He scoffs with a smile and I laugh with him. He turns onto the highway and I turn the radio up to a deafening volume.

“Speed up, what’re ya scared?” I reach up and open the sunroof and Jisung watches me as he bops his head to the music. He lets down all of the windows as I stand on my seat and stick my upper half out of the sunroof just as he speeds up. He’s probably going ten over the limit right now but I don’t see any cops around and there are barely any cars on the road. He starts racing imaginary cars, weaving between lanes and effectively throwing me side to side as I try to enjoy the night breeze. This has been my thing since I was a kid, my mom would let me stand in the car as my dad sped down the highway, she’d let me climb onto the middle console and stick my arms up out of the sunroof while she held me in place. It was dangerous but it was so much fun, so freeing.

The vibration of the bass shook the car as it glided down the highway. My skirt blew in the wind rushing through the window as Jisung sped up bit by bit. Suddenly, I feel warmth on my thigh and all of my concentration goes to that spot. Jisung’s fingers trail up my leg and caress the skin peaking out in the diamonds of my fishnet stockings. Though he and I agree that we could never fuck each other the bond that we foster isn’t exactly conventional. We like to touch each other, he’ll rub my thigh or hold me from behind casually and I reciprocate his actions on a regular basis. This is our normal, the part that’s new to me is the slow trail that his hand is making towards my heat. I can hear him singing the song on the radio as he speeds up just a bit more, probably hitting 85 in the 60 by now. His hand continues up my thigh, moving to the side to trace the curve of my hip.

“Fuck.” I hear him exasperate as I process the sound of police sirens behind us. I crawl back down into my seat and put my seatbelt on. We turn down the music completely and pull over to the shoulder of the highway. I reach into the glove compartment and hand Jisung his registration and we both take our licenses and ability identification cards and place them on the dashboard along with our open hands. When you get pulled over with an abilities like ours, some officers like to try and get a reaction out of you. The last time we got pulled over I was the only thing stopping Jisung from literally killing the officer that decided to get handsy with him.

The officer approaches the window like a snail crossing the street and we both sigh. We exchange knowing looks and I start silently praying to myself, please don’t let this man be an asshole. Once he reaches the window he looks us both over before silently reaching into the car to grab Jisung’s identification and registration “How are you doing tonight, kids.” He checks the registration then his License and lastly his ability card. Jisung and I opt to stay quiet and offer no more than a meek nod in his direction.

“What are you two doing out tonight?” The officer asks as he shines his flashlight in Jisung’s face. His eyes trail up and down Ji’s frame, sizing him up.

“We’re going on a date.” Jisung shrugs as he makes eye contact with the officer.

“A date, huh? Where to?”

“Well, sir, I’m trying to surprise my lovely girlfriend here so if it’s alright with you, I'll keep that to myself.” He smiles up at the officer teasingly. The less he knows the better.

“I see.”

“May I ask why we were stopped? Are we getting a ticket?”

“You were going twenty over the speed limit, I’ll let you love birds off with a warning this time.” The officer pauses before looking over at me. “ I’ll warn you especially ma’am, be careful with this kid he’s dangerous.”

Satisfied with himself, the officer smiles down at the irritated man in the driver's seat. “You two be careful alright? There was some commotion over at the gas station some ways from here. You two wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would ya?” the officer drops all of the collected information into Ji’s lap as he looks between us.

“Not at all, if we hear anything we’ll be sure to call the station.” I didn’t plan on lying to a cop tonight but I guess this is fine. He looks between us clearly trying to spook us but we’re unfazed, it’s gonna take a lot more than staring behind some black out shades to intimidate us.

“Alright, well then I’ll let you kids go, have a good night.” He starts to walk away but doubles back suddenly, bending down to the window. “And try to sober up a bit before heading home.”

He stalks away again, quicker than when he came and Jisung and I do our best not to laugh. “That was fucking close, is it that obvious that we’re stoned?”

I can’t help the laugh that erupts from my throat as I stuff my ID back into my wallet. Jisung stares at me in confusion as he mimics my actions.

“Dude, we have two cases of beer in the backseat and we literally hot boxed your car a couple of minutes ago. We smell like a dispensary and your eyes are glowing red.” He hurriedly looks into the rearview mirror and examines his appearance.

“ Fuck, you’re right.” He fixes the mirror and sighs, we sit in silence for a bit before he speaks up. “Can you pass me the eyedrops out of the glove compartment?”

“Yeah, sure.” I start searching through the glove compartment but I stop when a waft of smoke floats in my direction. I side eye Jisung as he takes a small drag of the blunt and blows it out of the window.

“Want a hit?” He offers me the blunt with raised brows and I scoff before continuing my search.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Which one is your favorite?” I ask Jisung as I raise my beer bottle to my lips. After some more aimless driving we ended up going to our favorite spot in some woods just outside of town. It’s the perfect spot for us to be left alone with our antics. We turn the car radio up and rotate between laying in the pick up bed of his car and sitting on a huge rock that we’ve claimed as our own. Right now the blankets spread out in the back of his pick up are way too cozy and inviting to pass up on since it’s gotten a bit chilly out.

“Which what?”

“Which part of your ability?” He looks over at me with a slight blush creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks. He takes a swig of his beer and swiftly follows with a drag of our third shared blunt. I suggested that we stop a long time ago but Jisung insisted on pushing the limits tonight. I’m pretty fucked up from the cross fade of weed and alcohol but I’ll never admit that and I wont have to because the rosy blush on my caramel skin is a dead giveaway.

“Why do you want to know?” A shy laugh slips from his lips and I shrug, it’s just a question why is he getting shy?

“Curious, If you tell me yours I’ll tell you mine.”

“I like that I can control blood flow, it comes in handy.” With furrowed brows I take a swig of my drink while racking my brain trying to figure out how such a thing could be useful.

“How so?”

“Ahh.. that, my dear, is something I’d have to show you and I don’t think you want me to show you what I use that for.” He explains turning to me slightly. I mimic his movements turning my body to him and giving him my full attention.

“Show me.”

“Seriously, I don’t think - “

“What’re ya scared? I thought the Amazing- Bloodbending- Han Jisung wasn’t scared of anything?” My teasing seemed to get to him just a bit, so naturally I continued. “The Jisung that I’m always hearing about is some confident, daring and dangerous man who isn't scared of anything.”

“Fuck it.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me closer to him so that he can put his arm around me. He moves to put his beer down and free his other hand while I watch him in confusion.

“What are you-” He rolls his eyes, turning back to face me.

“You begged for it and now you want to back out? What’re ya scared?” He mocks my previous question and now it’s my turn to roll my eyes.

“Shut up, I’m just confused.”

“Trust me, bubs.” He looks me over slowly, too slowly. What's going on here? “Have I ever hurt you before? Okay, wait, don't answer that. Have I ever hurt you on purpose?” With a slight laugh I shake my head.

“Then relax and let me know if you get uncomfortable.” Without another word from either of us and some rock indie rock song blasting on the radio Jisung takes a deep breath and rubs his fingers together. He then lightly touches my knee and guides my legs apart. I furrow my brows again before he places the palm of his hand over my pelvic bone and I start to feel a euphoric rush in my stomach and legs. The feeling works its way up and down to fill every inch of my body. My core starts to pulse and drip as Jisung watches me closely with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“W- what are you -”

“I increased blood flow to your… you know. It’s like an instant turn on.” The air around me feels thick and I find myself fighting the urge to whine at the building pressure, am I about to… no way, I can’t cum from this. Impossible. “This is my favorite part of my ability.” A shy smile crosses his blushed lips and I can’t help but to stare at them. I always stare but never when he can catch me, I always wonder how they’d feel against my lips and skin. I’ve always wanted to taste them. Woah, what the fuck? No, I can’t think things like that, not about him.

“Okay, cool you c-can stop now.” His eyes stare down at me with a heated gaze, boring holes into my skin. His eyes switch focus between my eyes and my lips as he reluctantly moves his hand. I sigh in relief as I feel my body start to cool down but it’s not enough, I still feel the blistering heat of need crawling under my skin. Fuck, why did he have to show me that? It’s bad enough that we’re out here ten minutes to midnight while I’m in a skimpy skirt and he’s in a tight black tank top. He let me borrow his jacket when the wind picked up and now I want nothing more than to give it back to maybe extinguish these hot and disgusting thoughts running through my head.

“Remember our deal about not fucking?” I stare up at him, wide eyed and feeling vulnerable. “What does that apply to?”

“What do you… what do you mean?” Suddenly it feels like he never even moved his hand. My body feels hot all over again and I can feel myself clench around nothing desperately.

“I mean I just... Fuck.” He pauses as he takes a second to help me sit up and he picks up his drink and takes a long swig. That was definitely a courage shot, what the hell is he about to say? “I mean.. you have no idea how much I think about just… corrupting you. Manipulating your body, I’ve wanted to do that trick to you since I discovered it.”

A small chuckle escapes him as he looks over at me trying to gauge my reaction.

“Ji, you know why we agreed to that. Sex leads to complicated relationships or dating or whatever and I can’t do that with you. I can’t risk losing you too.”

“You wouldn’t.” Jisung's response is nearly a whisper, a desperate plea that came out weaker than he expected. “If we’re together then you’ve got me for life, bubs. You’re my best friend, nothing could ever change that. You’re the only person who doesn’t see me as a monster.”

Now it’s my turn to take a courage shot. I down the rest of my drink, avoiding eye contact like it could kill me. “I get it, you wanna fuck me, you don’t have to butter me up to get in my pants.”

“Hey hey hey, this is about way more than that. I don’t just want to fuck you, you’re so much more than a stupid notch in my belt. I want to be with you. I’ve wanted that for so long and you’ve wanted it too. I know you do. I see the way you look at me all the time, when I stay over at your place and we’re sleeping together and when I’m driving and you think that I don’t notice. You stare at me just like I stare at you, you have that same longing in your eyes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me.” He’s serious now, his tone is firm and it adds an extra beat to my already hammering heart. How does he know all of that? How long has it been since he’s noticed?

“Jisung, I don't have feelings for you. You’re hot, that's it.” I’m lying. I’m lying through my fucking teeth and he knows it. I’m a shit liar when I’m faded.

“Then let me kiss you.” He finishes his drink and puts his bottle to the side all while looking straight at me. “If I’m nothing more than your hot best friend, let me kiss you. If you pull away then you’re telling the truth but if you don’t then you feel the same way that I do.”

“I’m not doing that.” My eyes fall to his converse and I take a shaky inhale. There’s no way that this is happening, what is he thinking?

“You are.” He sounds like he’s pleading again, his words are careful but he means them, oh gosh. He leans forward, placing the bend of his pointer finger under my chin and lifting my head until my gaze meets his. “I’m sick of us pretending” He whispers, his voice full of emotion. I can’t look away, my heart is pounding in my chest and I take a deep breath. His other hand reaches for mine, taking it and pressing chaste kisses to my knuckles. His eyes squeeze shut with each kiss and I can’t help but to take in the sight of him, his features softened by emotion, his emotions for me. I let out a shaky breath and whisper back.

"Han, we shouldn’t."

“Why not?” His eyes are still closed and he squeezes my hand as his lips move against the back of it. “I know you better than anyone on this earth. I love you more than anyone in this universe, you love me too, I know you do. What are you afraid of?”

“I told you, I can’t lose you.” My voice sounds more strained than I anticipated but I ignore it, it’s a reflection of how I feel. A verbal representation of the hurricane in my chest.

“If you’re so afraid to lose me then why won’t you be mine? Why won’t you let me have you?”

“Ji, stop it.” He drops the hand that he was kissing and moves his other hand to completely cup my cheek. We’re so close that his exhales are my inhales and I swear I can hear his heart pounding from here or maybe that’s mine.

“Let me kiss you.”

“Jisung” His name is merely a whisper as I exhale.

“Let me.” He whispers back and the sweet sound of his voice rings in my ears.

“Han.” I inhale the scent of him but it’s not the same, it's desperate, but it’s sweet. Much sweeter than usual.

“I’m going to kiss you.” He closes the gap between us and I hold my breath. His lips touch mine and the heat that I was feeling earlier multiplies with a spark of burning desire. He’s kissing me. My best friend is kissing me and only one word comes to mind. Perfect, this moment is perfect, he is perfect and I desperately don’t want him to be. His lips move against mine slowly, passionately, and I almost feel like I’m floating. I thought that I’d feel panic. I thought that I’d be scared but I’m not, he was right. Fuck it.

I sigh into the kiss as I melt into his touch, his fingers caress my cheek softly as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. His other hand rests on my hip, squeezing lightly and guiding me forward to straddle his lap. I climb onto him as I savor his taste. There's hints of beer and the blunt we shared but there’s a sweetness to it, it’s something that I can only describe as being him. It’s Jisung that I taste and he’s flooding my senses.

“I knew it.” He whispers against my lips before pressing me back into a hungry kiss. Our lips abuse each other relentlessly as they move in tandem. I can’t seem to control the small whines that escape me but I don’t mind because each one of my whines is matched with a desperate groan from Jisung.

“Be mine.” He whispers into my mouth and I sigh, content at the sound of it. He wants me, he wants to be with me… but what if I lose him?

“Ji.” I whisper back, trying my best to pull away but he holds me there. His hand on my cheek kept my lips on his. “Jisung” I lightly push at his chest, I can’t do this. We can’t do this. What if everything goes wrong? What if I lose him too? “Han.”

He stops, pulling away with heavy breath and dilated pupils. His blushed lips are more red than usual and he dips his tongue out to lick them quickly as he stares up at me.

“I can’t…” There’s a hoarse scratch to my voice as I stare back at him. “I can’t lose… we can’t do this.”

“We just did.”

109 notes · View notes

spid3rpunksimp · 10 months

Text

Hobie brown x Spider! gn! reader

Ngl I wrote this after cracking up at my pole, its litterally all over the place, and this doesn't really count with the pole I'm just bored.

Masterlist

Please don't leave me.

A/N: I have literally no idea what this is cause I'm still new to the world of ✨fanfictions✨ but I am pretty sure that this is ANGST. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Warnings: Blood, pain, gore, stabbing, violence, cursing

Everything was supposed to go well today. This mission wasn't supposed to go wrong. Everything was running smoothly, you were on the floor, bloodied up, dying while Hobie yelled your name. You wanted to respond so badly but you couldn't, all your energy was gone. You felt hot tears run down your face as his broken please for you to talk back hit you in the heart.

You, Hobie, Gwen, Paveir, and Miles were fighting a simple villain like always. Something you two did together all the time. Nothing was unusual about today, it was you and Hobie alone whenever the villain seemingly became more powerful than usual as the rest of the crew tried to find where you three had all gone, "Hobie watch out!" you yelled as he ducked down from the strange weapon that the villain was holding. It wasn't the same weapon that the villain had earlier. "Guys! What's going on in here?!" Paveir yelled as Gwen and Miles entered the room, whipping their webs beside him. "Uhh, the villain is being an asshole and turns out he's more powerful than we thought-" you barely finished as you were flung to the other side of the room as a disk (you think) went straight for your abdomen. "Y/N!" Hobie yelled as his attention went straight to your landing spot.

"I'm fine, Hobie! Don't mind me and make sure you don't get your ass kicked!" you yelled back to him as you got up and threw the disk back at the villain, missing your target spot and hitting him on the side of the leg, which made him PISSED.

The villain looked over to you as you felt a strange pain in your abdomen, as you looked down you realized the blood, as the giant rip in your suit. 'Just a scratch' you thought to yourself as you shot webs at his eyes, put two webs on either side, pulled yourself forward, and kicked the bastard villain in the face but it was almost like you had done nothing to him as he simply ripped off the webs and threw a giant medal pipe at all of your friends. You heard their groans in pain as the villain laughed and looked over to you. "Looks like your little friends are stuck to the wall huh." the villain said as he let out a bone chilling chuckle, looking over to you with anger filled eyes.

The pain in your abdomen came back as you felt your spider seances going off like crazy as you put your hand over your stomach, pulling it back up you realized how soaked with blood it was. You looked down only to be met with blood pouring out of your stomach, you could barely hold yourself up, you felt Light headed. Tired even.

"Y/N! GET OUT OF HERE NOW! GET BACK TO THE-"

Hobie was cut off with a loud crash sound as the villain punched you into the wall all the way behind the both of you. You felt as the bones in your back snapped, pain becoming overwhelming as you screamed and cried in pain, you heard your friends screaming for you to get out of there but, you couldn't move. Well, you could, you where moving your legs just fine, but it hurt to try to get up. SO you just sat there.

"Getting tired are we?" said the villain as he stabbed you with a long medal rod, stabbing you multiple times in the thigh before moving you tour abdomen, and then to your shoulder, where he simply stabbed you once, leaning into the rode as it moved into your arm more. Your lips were dry, you mouth left agape, you couldn't feel the pain anymore, you could barely hear before you where brought back to sense by the broken scream of your boyfriends voice.

"YOU TOUCH (pronoun) ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU"

The villain looked over, a evil grin going across his face as he picked you up by the neck, the pain in your back coming back but, you couldn't scream. You couldn't breath. everything hurt. You wished you'd die right then and there. You wanted this horrible pain to end. The villain brought you over to an edge, the edge had concrete slabs and many other construction scraps everywhere, if he dropped you, you doubt that it would be very easy for them to find you. You felt yourself going blue as you felt your airway come back as the villain loosened his grip. "OH this pretty little thing? Don't touch (pronoun) anymore? Oh come on pretty little spider, don't go dying on us just yet. You're just about to see the final faces of your little boyfriend and his buddy's."

"Lyla. LYLA CALL FOR BACKUP!" Hobie screamed as he remembered the digital companion, but it was too late. The villain had already dropped you as a portal showed up with Jess and Miguel. The last sights you saw of them were Jess pushing away the bar as Miguel began to beat up the villain. Hobie immediately coming over to where you where falling as fast as possible before you fell complacently into the construction scraps, You felt as a peace of concrete fell over you, your head hitting another concrete slab.

. . .

"Y/N! Y/N PLEASE RESPOND!"

Hobie's yells where broken. You could tell he was crying under his mask. You wanted to yell back so badly but you couldn't. Everything was going black.

You felt tears running down your face, you didn't want to leave Hobie. You really didn't. He understood you, all the memories you had together.

You couldn't leave it all behind.

But you couldn't help it.

Everything went black.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 2?

I almost cried writing this

92 notes · View notes

enchxanting · 1 year

Text

our love is god [ethan landry] pt. 2

read part 1 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: light angst, mention of drugs/alcohol

a/n: hey, thanks for all the love on the last part! i promise I'm not churning these out like crazy lol, i wrote the first chapter way before posting it here. not a lot of ethan in this one because we have to flesh out the lore, but i make up for it with some tara/sam angst! yippee!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe it. I actually can’t believe it.” Chad’s eyes are wide with amazement. “Y/N, at a loss for words? Because of a guy?”

“Dude, I’m telling you, it happened!” Tara said.

I was beginning to get tired of this back and forth.

Friday nights were usually fun, the whole gang gathered in Tara’s room, getting ready for the night’s festivities (in this case, a house party at the Woodsboro Community College), but today, my friends seemed more interested in rehashing today’s lunchtime events.

“Do you know what his name was?” Anika asks.

“Oh god, please don’t egg them on,” I groan. “No, I didn’t catch it.”

“Hey, he didn’t throw it, either,” Tara teases. “He was probably just as nervous. The dude could barely even make eye contact with her.”

Chad sits up on Tara’s bed. “What did you say he looked like?”

“Uh, tall, really tall. Curly brown hair? He was new, I’d never seen him before. And neither had Tara, so don’t chalk it up to my being a newcomer.”

“Wait. Oh my god.” Mindy suddenly chimes in. “I know who he is. His name is Ethan Landry, he’s in my American History.”

I can’t lie; I’m excited by this. “Really? Why haven’t we seen him before?”

“Because he just moved here.” She grins. “Hey, I thought you’d given up on high school boys, anyway.”

I tinge pink. “Never say never, I guess?”

Chad and Tara whoop. Anika rolls her eyes at them. “Do you think he’ll be there tonight?”

I scoff. “I doubt it. We already have to lie about being college students to get in, anyway.”

Tara’s eyes glimmer. “Hey, you never know. That means you have to get extra dressed up for tonight, just in case he’s there.”

I am not prepared for one of Tara’s evil-genius machinations, especially not a makeover. But I entertain the fantasy for a second too long, and she takes my silence as agreement.

That’s how I find myself in one of Tara’s old dresses, a strappy black thing that hangs too low on my chest for my liking. After fighting over it for a long while, she eventually agrees to add a long-sleeved top underneath, if only to stop my whining.

Yet even though my getting-ready process was the most involved, I’m still the first one downstairs, which is typical. I’m debating whether or not to run for the hills and go home when Sam comes through the front door.

“Oh, hey, Y/N. Is Tara upstairs?” She sets down a few bags of groceries and turns to lock the four deadbolts freshly nailed to the door.

“Hey, Sam. Yeah, she is. I think everyone will be down soon.”

There’s an uncomfortable energy between us. Sam has never liked me much. Not because of my character or anything, as Tara has reassured me, but she’s overly wary of outsiders ever since last year’s attack. I try not to blame her, but I can’t help but feel a little hurt when she keeps her distance, giving me a once-over instead of asking about my day.

The tension is broken when I hear the rest of the gang come down the stairs. Sam smiles when she sees Tara, but it fades when she notices that we’re all dressed up. “Hey, Tar, where are you guys going tonight?”

Tara shifts her weight from foot to foot. “My friend at Woodsboro Community College offered us an in, so… we’re taking advantage of our youth?”

Sam’s face darkens. “No. No way, Tar. You remember the last time someone had a party around here? We nearly died.”

“Jesus Christ, Sam,” Tara groans. “You were out of my life for five years now you can’t let me be alone for five minutes..”

I look at Chad, uncomfortable. He slightly shakes his head at me– better not to interfere.. Still, I feel like I have to say something. “Hey, Tara, maybe she’s right, we could just–”

Tara whips around to glare at me. “You’ve got to be kidding, Y/N. Butt the fuck out.” Her words sting, but I step back and sit on the couch.

“I’m not interested in living in the fucking past, Sam,” she continues. “I’m not gonna let what happened to me for three days define me for the rest of my life.”

Sam is quiet. I expect her to snap, to yell at all of us, but she just stares at Tara for a few seconds.

Finally, she picks up her bag again. “Alright. Fine. Go to the party, bring your taser, or not, I don’t care. I won’t be here when you get back.”

Tara’s eyes widen. “Wait, Sam. Wait. I’m sorry, I–”

“No, it’s really fine.” She glances around the room, where the rest of us are trying to blend into the shadows. “I hope you guys have fun. If some psycho killer tries to get you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

With that, she marches upstairs, and I hear her bedroom door slam and lock.

No one knows what to say. Tara turns her back, and I see her wiping away angry tears. Without looking at us, she opens the front door. “Okay! Who’s ready?”

“Tara, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Anika says. “We can stay back if you want, I mean–”

“Nope! What I want is to get so shit-faced I don’t remember this conversation. Let’s go.”

My stomach still feels hollow, but I silently follow Tara out of the door. Anika and Mindy follow close behind.

Chad takes a second before making up his mind. He grabs his keys. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go, then.”

#ethan landry fanfiction #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #jack champion #scream 6 #scream 2023 #heathers au #heathers #high school au

147 notes · View notes

cangrellesteponme · 7 months

Text

NOVEMBER 4TH - SETTING SUN

(read this on AO3 here)

final day of dadbastian week! i come bearing gifts (soul crushing angst)

this one is… well the prompt is setting sun, what else was i supposed to write? a heartwarming conclusion? i'm an evil creature, what can i say.

in which the contract's last day comes. sebastian gets one thing he wanted from his young master, at the cost of everything else.

enjoy!

The initial plan for the day is to let the young master sleep as much as he would like to.

Unfortunately, he is up before dawn and screams himself hoarse at the mere sight of anyone in his room, so Sebastian stands by the door in the darkest hour, waiting for him to discern the present from the memories. It takes a long time, always, but he eventually opens the door.

“I don’t think I’ll go back to sleep. Should we get ready for the day?”

His voice is both brave and fragile, but his still glistening cheeks make the scales tip in favour of the latter. Sebastian carefully wipes the tears away, as he always does.

The day is… odd, as expected.

Sebastian offers to play any game, go anywhere, eat anything at all, and the child agrees without much enthusiasm, even if he seems to enjoy some of it, at the very least.

The oddest part is that he talks, and talks, and Sebastian cannot help but feel like he is the one being comforted. He most ardently wants to say that it is futile and unneeded, as he is not the one who dies today, and that loss surely overshadows any mixed feelings he may feel about it all. But every time he considers telling the boy he is fine, his voice refuses to cooperate and he feels the familiar constriction of his oath, like his own hand around his throat warning him not to lie.

He persists through the day with those feelings unspoken.

As Sebastian hesitates to tuck him in, his young master grows quiet, pensive. With his — quite understandable — propensity for sombre moods, it usually is no cause for concern. Nothing is usual about this day, and the silence weighs heavily on Sebastian’s mind. It is with the urge to lift that that he thoughtlessly speaks.

“Any concerns?”

It sounds like a pathetic attempt at addressing the thousand regrets of the day, laughably concealing them under the veil of doubt. As if any question, any answer, could rid the end itself of its finality. Oddly lenient, the boy does not point it out.

“Many. I am… afraid? Isn’t it odd to be afraid of something I wanted?” he asks, and he somehow looks exactly like the child Sebastian first met that day. The sight is disconcerting, to say the least. Even more so considering that there isn’t much fear in him, comparatively.

Sebastian has seen him afraid before, has terrified him himself many times, but he has never quite looked like this — it is hard to see any fear in him in the complete absence of fight-or-flight, hard to put an adequate name on this aimless and dulled terror, and the calm facade reigning over it all. Sebastian would once have found it fascinating. He is now appalled at the lack of fight left in his young master.

“I would love to say something nice and heartwarming. In another world, I think I would have told you I hope to be born again as your son this time.”

He sighs and leans back into the pillows, and the pallor of his skin makes him seen gone already.

“But we both know my soul is not going anywhere.”

Sebastian wants to tell him many things, but not a single word comes to mind. He only knows human emotions by name, and recognises them only from an observer’s standpoint, for a manipulator’s purpose. None of this knowledge helps him put words on the sinking weight in his limbs currently at war with his hunger — one tells him to stay, stay and watch over his boy, and the other whispers promises of devouring a soul worth his patience, his work, his attention. For reasons he doesn’t understand, Sebastian does not want to think about what he would do if he had an actual choice.

(He fears, deep down, that even if there were loopholes in the contract, he would have given in to his hunger.)

He has been waiting for this day — it was written into the contract, after all, even if he hadn’t expected to suffer from more than hunger pains in the final hour.

Is this loss, he wonders, or perhaps grief? Would those words ever fit the emotions of a being who is more of a force of nature than its own individual? They might, he thinks, as the thought of eternity without this master makes flesh collapse into an aching void where his heart might have been, if he had bothered to give his body more than the appearance of something arguably human.

Unaware of Sebastian’s turmoil, or perhaps unwilling to do much to acknowledge it, the boy looks up at him, tense and expectant.

“It is time, isn’t it?” he asks as airily as if he wanted tea and not death in his cup.

It is, in fact, time — as much as it will ever be. Sebastian is… unsure of how to proceed. Back in the earlier days of the contract, he planned to make it hurt — that was, after all, the best way of consuming a soul — but now… would he hesitate, if the boy cried? Screamed? Pleaded? It is yet another question he wants no answer to.

“Sleep,” he hears himself say, and he is surprised to hear the faintest tremble in his own voice, and to see it mirrored in his unstable hand brushing hair out of the boy’s face. “I will watch over you until the end.”

He looks… stunned — as if the tenderness behind the offer of a painless end and the gentleness in touch and treatment were inconceivable, grounds for stupefaction. Sebastian realises that the kindness he himself perceives as the dominating force in his spirit is still an odd, uncharacteristic behaviour in the child’s eyes. That even though his soul has known easy, freely given affection in his youngest years, it has also faced storms and tidal waves of pain too great not to submerge and taint the memory of every single past act of love, no matter how immense his daily joys once were. That Sebastian himself once was a devastating flood, regardless of his current efforts to be the sun his young master needs.

All at once, he is overwhelmed by the desire to bargain for another day, another month, another year, anything to right past wrongs and give his boy enough warmth for happiness to freely emerge once again. But the sun sets already.

In the quiet that follows, Sebastian tells himself it is the soul’s sorrow he feels, and not his own — as he is, of course, incapable of such emotional depth — even as sobs too loud to be the fruit of imagination echo through the Phantomhive manor. Not that anyone will ever know, either way.

#'having a breakdown after my girl dinner <33'#ekjnfkzejf #thank you to everyone who participated to dadbastian week in any way. much love :)#kuroshitsuji #black butler #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #my writing #dadbastian #dadbastianweek2023 #dadbastiansettingsun

26 notes · View notes

crabonfire · 1 year

Text

It's okay. Let it all out.

engineer x reader one shot

today has been a horrible day and I want to uh go to sleep forever and never wake up but that's ok here's a self indulgent one shot

reader is VERY self indulgent. they have stuffed animals n shit and yeah. No established relationship, engie is your best friend.

also I didn't mention this but engie has his goggles and hardhat off, his hair is growing and so is his beard but its mostly like...in the process. Yeah.

Specific Tags: comfort, best friends to lovers, first kisses together, tiny l bomb / confession and making out. angst to fluff.

Warnings: depressed reader because they just like me fr

♡ im sobbing as im writing this, so sorry for any errors because there aint any way i got time to check this back ♡

There it is again, that shitty feeling that lingers in their brain out of buttfuck nowhere. Those thoughts that eat them up inside, putting them on the brink of suicide. Where did they come from? Who knows. When did they start? Honestly, they lost count.

The cruel things come and go, yet each time they come back, they come back just as harsh if not downright evil, ruining their mentality.

It wasn't even a bad day. But here we go again, the self deprecating thoughts are rushing in because of something that really is out of your control. You know it's out of your control, but that doesn't mean just because you know it doesn't suck.

The tears don't stop, They never do as you clutch onto your stuffed animal tightly. It's like a routine for you to do this, think, cry, and sob. In the morning, you go back to normal, pretending to be your happy and charismatic self again. So you're letting it all out. You'll probably forget about this later like you always do.

Why am I like this? Why was I born into this place just to suffer every day? Why do I feed onto these insecurities I have? Why do people even like me? Why does anybody even bother-

knock knock knock

That knocks you back to reality, startled by the sudden noise.

"Reader? It's me, Dell."

You flinch, wiping your tears away and inhaling deeply to calm yourself down before finally being able to reply.

"...come in."

He opens the door, "Oh, honey..." He notices the marks of old tears that have streamed down your cheeks, a frown appearing on his face with brows furrowed in worry. That automatically made you cry again, that pitiful look on his face. This is exactly why you wanted to be alone. You didn't want to worry him, but again, the tears could never seem to stop.

He quickly walks towards you as you try your best to wipe the tears, yet they keep on pouring. He sits next to you on the bed as you clutch on tighter to your plushie. Sobs and gasps are muffled from your face being covered by the plushie.

He places a hand to your back, making you look at him as he signals you for a hug. You place the plush behind you and envelop yourself into his embrace. "That's it, let it all out, darlin'...I'm here for you." He holds you tightly, his warmth being warmer than anything you've ever felt.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

As the time goes by, you've calmed down and finished crying. Though he doesn't stop his gentle rubbing of your back. You pull back from his chest, tears have stained his shirt but the look on his face tells you he does not care.

"You alright now, sweetheart? Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks, a soft smile on his face. You consider it, but shake your head no, knowing you'd just start having a mental breakdown infront of him. "Okay, that's okay." He says, tone just as soft as his expression.

"Can we just stay like this? I'm sorry if I'm...intruding on boundaries." You mutter out, voice sore from your crying. "Of course darlin', you don't hafta' ask." His smile widens, making you mirror it too. Gosh, it's such a contagious smile.

You place your head on his shoulder, wrapped arms loosening their tight grasp as you melt into his embrace once again. Your eyes close, letting yourself be in this comforting position.

"I just want you to know that I care about you, honeybee, and you are such a strong soul."

Then they open again, surprised by the sudden affirmation.

"And your heart, is the kindest I've ever met."

You feel the urge to cry again, but you don't.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you, I promise you that you can get through it. Because you are something extraordinary."

He goes on, whispering soft affirmations to your ear making those horrid thoughts go away. And as he does, the comfort of it all makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This makes you feel deep love for him.

You already recognized your crush for him a long time ago, and you know you were sobbing a couple minutes ago, but your heart is racing once again, and this time it's because of a man and his sweet ass personality.

You can feel your cheeks heat up as he speaks, his voice is low, yet gentle to one's ear. A voice so kind, it's as if you're in a dream.

Your emotions are going haywire right now for some reason, that small gesture he's doing is making you feel so much love and admiration for him it's driving you insane.

You look at him with a red faced, puzzled expression. He grins in amusement, "You alright there honeybee?" That does it, you can't contain it anymore. "Your all red in the face. Are you-"

"I am SO in love with you."

You cut him off, his eyes widening.

"And-and I've liked you for...so long. I know this is not the proper situation for-a dumb confession that you probably won't accept but I...I like you. I like you a LOT."

You pause, looking away from him.

"And-when you do things like this, I just can't handle it, you know? So, just... go ahead and tell me you dont feel the same, I know you dont." You look back, now your eyes are wide.

His expression is one of pure admiration, his eyes half lidded and a big goofy smile on his face, cheeks dusted with a rosy tint.

..oh. it seems you were wrong. It seems he does like you back.

You want to speak again, but the words are stuck in your throat. He places a hand to your cheek, and stares into your eyes.

"I like you too, sugar."

He leans in, kissing you. You kiss him back, feeling him smile into you when you do. It's short, but it's something that tells you the deep love he's felt for you all this time.

"Gosh, I've been waiting for that for so long...you have no idea." You smile and kiss him again, and this time it's longer. He bites your lip, making you gasp and open your mouth, your tounges entertwine.

He tastes like heaven. The pure sweetness is so much that it's almost overwhelming. There's hints of beer and a smoky smell to him, but what can you expect from a man who always works in his workshop.

When you pull away to breathe, his breath is so close to your face that it makes you go insane. He still has that dumb smile on his face, he's absolutely entranced by you.

"I never knew that I'd be such a lucky man, holding you and tasting you like this." He kisses you once more before he continues, "I'm so happy you feel the same." He rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and smiling contently.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

this actually did make me feel better!! yay.

if u want an aftermath,,,ill make one :)

but wooo!!! sorry if the romance stuff was rushed lmao I'm not too good at these long angst to fluff stuff...plus I'm rusty,,,haven't written these in a bit. Mostly just short one shots for multiple characters.

I hope u enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Engie lovers unite I want this man so bad

#tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 x reader #tf2 engineer #tf2 engineer x reader #tf2 engie x reader #tf2 engie

88 notes · View notes

amidstnamjin-and-binchanlix · 4 months

Text

i wanna see the sun rise (on your sins, just me and you)

Warnings: Uhhh. Not much. Just some v v light angst, and mentions of hospitalization and stuff, also inaccuracies because i'm not a doctor (no matter how much my parents want me to be lmao)

Pairings: Bangtan Boys | BTS Ensemble/Reader, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Reader, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Reader, Park Jimin (BTS)/Reader, Jeon Jungkook/Reader, Jackson Wang/Reader

Plot: Regrets don't always come in the end, and they're hell-bent in making it right this time

Genre: light angst

'Cause I wanna touch you baby

And I wanna feel you too

I wanna see the sun rise

On your sins just me and you

Light it up, on the run

Let's make love tonight

Make it up, fall in love, try

Baby, I am right here

mixtape: all i have left to give - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ending 1

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK hi hello i have nothing else to say except my world is falling apart and me writing is saving me a little see you again in a few months!

🌇

"How is she?"

Seokjin is tempted not to answer the question directed at him. So much has happened today, and his nerves are shot from everything that had transpired. If only he listened to his common sense, if only he fought for you. If only, if only.

"Hyung—"

He pulls his wrist away from Hoseok's grasp, ignoring the hurt painted in the younger's eyes when he does so.

"Why don't you go see her and find out for yourself?"

"I don't think—"

"Don't think what, Hoseok? That she's worth fighting for? That this shit's been dragging for too long and that maybe, just maybe, she deserves better than what we're doing to her."

Hoseok hangs his head in shame.

"I stand by what I said. This is no time to be neutral about it. You and Jimin, what did she ever do to the two of you to let the others get their way?"

Seokjin sighs heavily.

"She never asked anything from us, she did things for us that we didn't even know about without shoving it in our faces. She never even asked us to love her, but we do. I do, Hoseok. I love her, no matter how much you all beg me not to."

Seokjin tilts Hoseok's face tenderly.

"I do love her, Hobi. Don't you, too?"

Hoseok knows to himself that he does.

Seokjin is wrong. Hoseok's never really been neutral at all. Stoic about it, yes; he didn't want to break apart the group, after all. But in his heart, he slowly but surely fell in love with you. There's nothing neutral about it, he just learned how to be quiet about it.

In the times he sees you (without you seeing him), he sees your kindness shine. In your industry and this cutthroat world, you never let those old money sons of bitches trample on you, but he has yet to see you be as callous and evil even towards those who deserve it.

He remembers seeing you almost cry in indignance when a project went wrong and threatened employment displacement for those who are not at fault, even when they're not your employees. He had been watching and listening in secret from afar, but he could see how you wanted to burn your office to the ground when you knew that taking an important and needed step would mean that hundreds of families might potentially lose stable income.

He had seen you go undercover in the middle of the night so you could almost buy out an entire convenience store, just so you could feed the homeless one cold night.

He had seen you adopt your (now nth) cat Nori because you had seen it lost and without its mother on the sidewalk.

He had seen you love them from afar and mask it when they're around, even when it hurts him to watch too because that's all he can do when his hands are tied and he's had to keep it to himself or risk hurting their group.

He's seen you love them unconditionally, but not beg an ounce of it back because that's how love should be.

He loves you for your kindness, and everything in between.

"It's okay to love her too," Seokjin says in his silence. "It's the right thing to do, Hobi. We don't have to get scared anymore, not when she would go to lengths to give us what she thinks we want.

"But I don't want that." Seokjin drops his hand, sniffing lightly. "I don't want to lose her, not before I can even love her properly. I never wanted that."

"I don't want that, too, but the others—"

"Will come around eventually on their own. It's not our responsibility to do it for them." Seokjin says.

"And if they don't?" Hoseok asks, eyes wide with questions.

Seokjin sighs. "Then we can do nothing for them. It'll be a regret they will have to carry for the rest of their lives."

---

Talking to Jimin went a whole lot easier than expected. He was neutral about the whole thing, but it didn't take long for Seokjin and Hoseok to convince him.

"Hey," Seokjin says in lieu of greeting as Jimin sits on the balcony of his suite. "Can we talk?"

"If this is about what I think it is, I'd rather—"

"Please, Chim." Hoseok is the one who speaks this time. "Hear us out first."

"But the group, hyung." Jimin shakes his head. "I can't risk losing anyone of you."

"On what, the expense of someone else's life? She nearly died, Jimin." He ignores the gasps from both Jimin and Hoseok's lips. "She nearly died."

"What?" Hoseok speaks again. "You never told me this."

Seokjin sighs, his eyes shutting in pain as his mind flashes back to your prone figure lying on the hospital bed. "Yeah," he croaks. "She had to undergo surgery due to some heart damage, and she's in a coma right now."

"Coma?!" Hoseok and Jimin shout in unison. "What do you mean 'coma'?" Jimin stutters.

"She has to recover, so they put her there to help her heal..." Seokjin trails off.

When Seokjin doesn't continue, Hoseok asks, "But?"

"She's still in critical condition. They're not sure if she'll wake up."

"When she'll wake up," Hoseok tries to correct, but Seokjin shakes his head.

"If, Hobi. She had been so sick that she nearly died."

Silence befalls the three of them.

"How's Jungkook?" Jimin eventually asks, to which Seokjin shakes his head gloomily.

"He didn't take it too well. He got into a fight with Jackson."

"That asshole, again?!" Jimin bursts out but Seokjin stops him.

"As much as it pains me to say this, he has more rights to be there than we frankly do. Maybe legally as much, too."

"What?" Hoseok asks. "What do you mean by that?"

"I can't go into technicalities right now. My brain's too fried." Seokjin rubs his aching temples. "But when we left her, Jackson was there for her. She trusts him with everything, and I can't blame her."

"So we can't go see her?" Hoseok whimpers.

"We can." The other two sigh in relief. "But we can't touch her."

"Fuck that, I don't care if I have to put my fist against Jackson's fa—"

"It's not that." Seokjin shakes his head for the nth time that night. "We'll burn her skin. It's a side effect of her treatment."

Jimin can't even describe the emptiness he's feeling right now. When it comes to you, he has always chosen not to get too involved, not when he thinks it can tear their group apart. He doesn't want that, so better be safe than sorry.

Right now, however, he thinks that what was supposed to be safe turned out to be the biggest sorry.

"I'm sorry," Jimin whispers. "It wouldn't be like this had I not been detached from this."

Hoseok shakes his head. "We're all at fault here, remember? We all agreed to this, so there's no sense taking that burden by yourself." But even he feels the same way, the regret heavy in his gut.

"So what do we do now?" They both turn to Seokjin. "We're not banned from seeing her, are we?" Hoseok asks.

"No," Seokjin says firmly. "It would take more than that to ban us by law. We're still her soulmates, after all."

"Can we go visit her?" Jimin asks.

"Not right now, Chim." Seokjin smiles sadly. "We all had a long day, and we still have a lot of things to talk about, so I suggest we take some rest. Okay?"

Hoseok and Jimin look ready to disagree, but both sigh in defeat. Unbeknownst to them, Taehyung is listening in to the whole conversation. When he hears the suggestion to take some rest, he quickly but silently exits out of the room.

---

They all slept fitfully that night. Every time Seokjin tries to close his eyes, all he sees is your figure lying helplessly on your hospital bed. When his body eventually gives in to exhaustion, he dreams of losing you over and over again.

It was horrendous.

He wakes up to a weight on his chest, figuratively and literally.

Jungkook has his arm slung over Seokjin's waist, head tucked between his shoulder and neck. He's sniffling, clearly crying.

"Come 'ere." Seokjin wraps his arm around Jungkook's shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."

"We don't know that," Jungkook sniffs.

"It will be." Seokjin squeezes his arm gently. "We're not yet done making it up to her, so it will be. We haven't even started yet, so we can't lose hope. Not right now, not when she needs us."

"I just want her to be okay," Jungkook sobs.

"And I do, too. But all we can do right now is fight for her." He kisses Jungkook's hair, petting it gently to calm him down. "We can't afford to lose hope if we need to fight for her. Okay?"

Jungkook nods.

"We can visit her again soon. You and me, and Jimin and Hobi."

Jungkook pulls away slightly. "They will?"

Seokjin nods, and Jungkook puts his head back on his chest. "I talked to them last night. It was pretty easy to convince them."

If only it is easy to convince all of them, the thought hangs heavy in the air.

"Hyung?" Jungkook asks after a while. Seokjin just hums. "Do you ever think of what could have been if we didn't turn her away?"

"All the time," Seokjin admits. "I try not to because it's painful, but I always do.

"She's not hard to love." Seokjin swallows the pain in his throat, willing himself not to cry. "She's lovely and kind, and she never once asked us to love her back. That's what stands out the most for me because that love is unconditional."

A tear finally falls from his eye.

"I cannot imagine what pain she went through at all, and I still can't bring myself to because if I do, it'll be the end for me." He shakes his head. "She nearly died because of love—it was supposed to be the other way around. It was supposed to breathe life into you."

"Hyung..." Jungkook whimpers.

"I'm sorry," Seokjin says as he wipes the tears from his eyes. He doesn't know if he's saying sorry for crying, or for the things he failed to do for you.

"I feel like I don't deserve to cry because I failed her."

"That's not true, hyung. You didn't fail her. We'll still fight for her, won't we? That's not failing her."

Seokjin doesn't answer.

"I love you, hyung."

He hugs Jungkook tighter. "I love you too, Kook-ah."

---

The first thing that Seokjin does in the morning is to call Sejin, which was apparently expected of him because Sejin didn't even bat an eyelash, just agreed to come over and talk.

"Hear me out first, please," Seokjin says first thing when he arrives.

Sejin stares him down before sighing in defeat. "I already know where this is heading, Seokjin. I've seen you grow up and I know you better than yourselves sometimes."

"I know, Sejin-nim. But I can't, for the life of me, not try to make things right."

Sejin shakes his head. "You've fucked around, and all of you found out. This is what this is. I can't undo this for you this time."

"I'm not asking you to undo it, Sejin-nim. I'm just asking for your help. We just want to see her as much as we can."

Sejin's expression is pinched.

"She specifically asked not to let you interact with her unless it's for work. My hands are tied."

Seokjin shakes his head, desperation bleeding from his tired eyes. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her. We'll be out of there before she even wakes up."

"I—"

"Please, Sejin-nim. She doesn't even need to know."

Sejin takes a moment to respond. He takes a look at the kid he helped raise, at the tired slope of his shoulders and the despair in his eyes.

"Okay." However, before Seokjin can even react, Sejin raises his hand, "But, I have to warn you not to do stupid shit like picking fights with Jackson, as tempting as that sounds. His camp warned us last night."

"We're her soulmates," Seokjin says.

"But Jackson is made next of kin, and he can have you hauled out of the room if he wants to. He just chooses not to for [Name]. So please, be the sensible one."

Seokjin sighs in relief and nods. "Thank you, Sejin-nim."

"Are you taking Jungkook with you?" Sejin asks.

"And Hoseok and Jimin," Seokjin lists. "I'll have them behave, I promise."

Sejin's eyebrows raise at that. "You talked to them?"

Seokjin nods. "Last night. It was pretty easy considering they're both neutral about everything."

"How about the others?"

A shake of the head. "I haven't talked to them," Seokjin says softly. "I can't face them just yet."

Sejin just looks at him and nods. "I understand."

"Can you please ensure that Jackson's not there every time we visit her?"

Sejin nods. "That's easy, but I can't promise that every time. Jackson can only stay or visit for a few days because of his world tour. He's also gearing up for his new album, I think. I'll have to check that out."

Seokjin only nods. He'll take what he can have with you, and he's not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"I also need to talk to her soul therapist," Seokjin says. "I have to know if there is something we can do to help her heal faster."

Sejin narrows his eyes.

"Is that really all, Seokjin?" When Seokjin opens his mouth to refute him, Sejin shakes his head at him. "I just said I know you better than yourself sometimes. This is one of those times."

Fuck.

How can he tell Sejin that he wants to be able to love you wholly and alive without the therapy present? He knows he can't do it with you undergoing the soul-scraping therapy, so he can only think of one way to do it.

"I... I want to know if there is any way her therapy treatments can be stopped." Seokjin swallows. "I can't let her suffer any longer than she already had. I want it to stop."

Sejin tsks. "You do realize that it can't be stopped like that, can it? It cannot be reversed like that. She's under research, for heaven's sake!"

"We don't know that!" Seokjin exclaims. "Maybe it can be stopped, and she can heal slowly. Treatments are being stopped when not working all the time!"

"It is working, and it is not your decision to make, Seokjin!" Sejin's temper flares. "It's not your call to make, not your decision or say, and not your signature on the damn dotted line. Regardless if you're her soulmate, I won't let you do that to her because that's breaking her trust."

"Letting her die is breaking her trust?!"

"Think twice before you say anything further if I were you, Seokjin." Sejin shakes his head in disbelief. "Who put her there in the first place, me? I was merely a messenger."

And he's right, isn't he? It's not Sejin's fault after all. Sejin puts his hands on Seokjin's shoulders gently.

"I understand and want your happiness too, Seokjin. But it's not our call to make." Sejin pauses. "What if this is what she's happy with? Would you take this from her just to make yourself happy?"

"B—but she's dying!" Seokjin sputters. "I don't care about my happiness at this point. I'd rather she hate me alive than see her die."

"It'll be up to the doctors to do their job, and we have to trust them, okay? She'll be okay. She's a fighter, she'd get through this alive."

Seokjin can only nod in defeat.

"I can set up an appointment with Dr. Im, but that's all I can do. I doubt he'll let you stop the treatments, and that's all we can do at this point."

"Okay, Sejin-nim." Seokjin smiles weakly at him. "Thank you."

"Now go get some more rest. God knows you need it."

---

"Jackson's going to be there, so please no picking fights." When none of the four men in the car answers, Sejin continues. "I'm looking at you, Jungkook."

"Yes, Sejin-nim."

"For her sake, let's keep it civil. I've talked to his camp, and they promised to keep him in check, but regardless if he picks a fight, don't be baited."

"Yes, Sejin-nim," they all repeat.

It had been a week since they last saw you. They've been trying to visit more frequently, but they still have appearances and commitments they need to fulfill. It's hard, playing pretend like everything is fine, especially with the other three, but they have no choice or everything will fall apart.

Sejin had been giving the same pep talk every time their visit overlapped with Jackson's. No matter how it grates them, what with Jackson's side comments, they have to endure it. Anything just to see you.

The first visit almost didn't go well. Jackson had been there and it had been bearable, yes, but Hoseok and Jimin didn't expect what they would find when they arrived.

Their reactions were similar if not the same as how Jungkook and Seokjin reacted the first time they saw you. They did this to you, how can they possibly make it up to you in this state?

"Now you know what you did," Jackson says, "you can leave her alone and never come back."

But the boys are anything but weak-willed.

They had been visiting as much as they could, much to Jackson's anger. Not that he can do anything about it. Being next of kin can only give him so much power over them being your soulmates.

"Here again?" Jackson sneers once they reach your room. "You're not needed here, and you're not welcome here either, so why don't you all just leave?"

Seokjin's jaw ticks but he says nothing, just sits on the comfy sofa of your presidential suite. Hoseok silently replaces the flowers in the vase with the ones he brought just for you. Sunflowers, he knows you like them and it suits you just as well.

"Jackson," his manager says. "You're needed for the shoot in an hour. We need to go."

Jackson huffs in annoyance and the four men can barely keep their glee off their faces.

"Fine. But we'll be back later, yes?"

His manager nods tiredly, apparently desperate to hurry him out of there.

Jackson stands by your bedside and caresses your hair softly before leaning down to kiss you on the forehead with a tender smile on his face. "I'll be back later, okay? Wait for me." You didn't respond, the machines around you beeping in your silence.

It takes all of Jungkook not to punch him in the face for the blatant display of affection, knowing the other men present can't do it with you.

Jackson leaves but not before sparing you a longing glance.

"I want to punch him in the face," Jungkook says once Jackson left. "I won't, but I want to."

"Please don't," Seokjin says tiredly. "Sejin-nim made us promise."

"And besides, his world tour will start in a few days, Kook-ah." Hoseok says, trying to cheer the youngest. "Just a few days, okay? You won't have to see his face for months after that."

Jungkook just smiles weakly, happy at the prospect of seeing you freely without that asshole hanging around like a pest.

It's then that Doctor Choi comes in.

"Ah, gentlemen. You're here again," he smiles at them. It will never stop stinging, the way the doctor always seems surprised seeing them every time they visit you. It's not for no reason, they know, but it will always hurt nonetheless. They all give their greetings and give way for the doctor to make his examination, Jimin giving out their gloves. Once Doctor Choi is done, he turns to face them.

"I would normally ask where the Next of Kin is but seeing as he's not present and you're her soulmates, it should be fine."

"Why, Doctor-nim? Is anything wrong with [Name]?" Jungkook asks anxiously.

The doctor smiles at them and shakes his head. "Not at all. In fact, I have some good news."

They all perk up at that.

"Miss [Last Name] has been responding well to the treatments so far, so we've decided to take her out of her coma."

Relief floods through the four other men in the room.

"Really?" Seokjin asks hopefully. "So she'll wake up soon?"

"Hopefully, yes. She should start waking up soon once we administer the drug to wake her up."

"Thank you so much, Doctor-nim." Hoseok smiles widely for the first time in what feels like ages.

"Mr. Kim, I believe you have an appointment with Doctor Im, yes?" Doctor Choi asks Seokjin.

"Yes, Doctor-nim. Is he in?"

"Yes, he is. He asked to let you know that he'll be speaking with you later."

"Thank you, Doctor-nim."

When Doctor Choi leaves, all three men turn to Seokjin.

"What was that about, hyung?" Jimin asks.

"Nothing you guys should worry about." When they stare at him skeptically, he sighs. "Seriously, it's nothing you should be worried about. I just want to ask some questions about [Name]'s treatments."

The other three thankfully decide to let it go.

They all fuss over you as much as they are allowed to but Jungkook is notably silent.

"Hey," Hoseok says quietly to Jungkook. "You alright?"

Jungkook smiles weakly. "Yeah."

Hoseok shakes his head. "You don't need to lie to hyung."

Jungkook looks at him and bites his lower lip. "It's just that once [Name] wakes up, we might not see her as much as we want to."

Hoseok falls silent at that. He honestly hadn't thought of it that way. Seokjin, having caught their conversation, shakes his head.

"No," he says firmly. "Don't think of it that way because we will find a way."

"But—"

"No 'buts'," Seokjin shakes his head. "We can't give up just yet, no matter what."

Seokjin's right, they can't give up just yet. If every setback will deter them, they will get nowhere in making it up to you.

Their silence is broken when Seokjin is called by Sejin for his appointment with Doctor Im. When he leaves, Jungkook asks the one question plaguing their mind.

"What do you think it is for?"

Jimin shrugs, completely at a loss himself. He had been noticing Seokjin being out of sorts these past few days, but he chalked it up to him worrying over [Name]'s health, as well as the group's well-being.

"I can't see any other reason other than him checking up on [Name]'s condition. It's not like he'll be signing up for the soul-scraping therapy himself, I know he won't." Hoseok says seriously. "We'll just have to trust him when he said it's nothing to worry about."

In a way, they are correct. As Seokjin sits across from Doctor Im in his office, he can't help but feel like he's betraying all of the trust given to him by the people he loves. You, and the rest of the group.

"So Mr. Kim," Doctor Im starts, "I heard from you Manager that you wish to speak to me about Miss [Last Name]. Is that correct?"

Seokjin fidgets in his seat. "Yes, Doctor Im."

Doctor Im levels him with a look, not dissimilar to Manager Sejin on that morning.

"I think I know where this is going, Mr. Kim. Is this about her therapy?"

Seokjin can only nod, feeling like a deer in the headlights. The Doctor sighs.

"If my guess is correct, you would want her to be pulled out, which I unfortunately cannot do. For one, she's in the middle of a worldwide research. And even if she's not, only she can consent to stop the treatments. Otherwise, it will be a breach of patient-doctor confidentiality."

"But will it be a breach if I'm acting on behalf of her as her soulmate?"

Doctor Im, instead of getting angry as he expected, only smiles.

"Unfortunately so, still. Part of the contract for soul-scraping patients states that unless they explicitly step down from the research, nobody can do it on their behalf.

Seokjin's heart drops to his stomach. Doctor Im just smiles softly.

"If you don't mind me overstepping, there was a bond rejection early on between you and Miss [Last Name], isn't there?"

Seokjin nods forlornly. "On our part, regretfully, yes."

"I see." Doctor Im hums. "That's interesting."

Seokjin says nothing.

"I'm afraid I cannot help you with this, Mr. Kim. Unless Miss [Last Name] steps down from the research, we are to continue with her in it. I hope you understand."

"But will it not be dangerous, especially after what happened to her?" Seokjin pauses. "I really don't know how to say this without being disrespectful because I know you're just doing your job, but maybe she can be made aware of what can happen if she continues with the therapy."

Again, instead of getting angry, Doctor Im just chuckles. Seokjin just looks at him like he's grown two heads.

"My apologies," Doctor Im waves him off. "It's just really interesting considering your history with her."

"I had no choice," Seokjin defends himself. "I sadly had no choice, and I didn't know what to do."

"Forgive me for being frank, but you always have a choice. But I do understand now where you're coming from.

"From a professional point of view, you'll be hindering my research and I would have to say no," Doctor Im pauses. "But I've seen enough cases like yours that end in regret and pain more than the freedom the patients thought they'd be getting. And Miss [Last Name], she's so young, way too young to be in this situation."

A terse pause.

"I cannot promise anything, Mr. Kim. I can only tell her what can happen if she wishes to continue with the treatments, but nothing else. Everything else is up to her."

And that is enough for Seokjin. He just hopes you'll stop altogether.

"Thank you, Doctor-nim."

Doctor Im nods with a gentle smile. "I'm aware Doctor Choi spoke to you earlier and told you that we'll administer the drug to wake Miss [Last Name] sometime this week, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"The effects might take some time to manifest, so don't be disappointed if she doesn't wake up right away. Okay?"

"Okay, Doctor-nim."

Seokjin rises from his seat just as Doctor Im rises from his as well.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me, Doctor Im."

Doctor Im nods kindly.

"No matter what happens, you will always have a choice. That's what I always tell my patients."

"Yes, Doctor-nim."

---

It has been three days since, and they're taking you out of your coma. The boys know you will not wake up right away, but they can't help but feel disappointed when you don't wake up once the drug has been administered.

"What matters right now is she'll be okay," Hoseok says. "She'll be okay."

"Yeah," Seokjin can only hope you'll change your mind about the treatments once you wake up. "She'll be okay."

---

Heavy.

Your body feels heavy the moment you wake up.

You try to speak, but the tubes in your throat prevent you from doing so. You try to lift your arms, but it feels like they're made of lead.

"She's awake! Hyung, she's awake!"

You can't decipher the rest of the words being spoken as you succumb back to the darkness, unaware of the chaos around you.

---

The second time you wake, your body feels a little lighter than before.

There's a mop of curls on your bed and a gloved hand wrapped around yours, the figure appearing to have fallen asleep.

Your eyes are bleary, and you can't see who it is.

"J...Jackson?"

You squeeze the hand around yours and they slowly rouse.

"Jackson...?"

The figure finally wakes.

"You're awake," the deep-voiced figure says. Had you not been drugged and still hazy, you would have noticed the awe in their voice and the emotions being spoken in those two words.

And that the figure is definitely not Jackson.

"You're here." You smile placidly. "You're here."

The figure nods, face obscured by the darkness of the room. Only the light of the lamp by the corner illuminates the otherwise dark room.

"I'm here."

"Not dead?" you ask.

The figure shakes their head.

"No. Thankfully not."

You nod, the last vestiges of your consciousness slowly slipping.

"Don't... don't leave."

Silence.

"Don't leave, m'kay?"

The figure nods again.

"I won't this time."

Satisfied, you fall back to sleep.

----

*cardi b's voice* wha' is that?????

#soul bonds #bts soulmate au #soulmate rejection #idek what i'm doing okay i'm so sorry #polyamorous bts #they're idiots your honor #mixtape: all i have left to give #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

12 notes · View notes

dre6ming · 2 years

Text

The delicate beginning rush

Chapter VI ~ my darling

Masterlist

Chapter V ~ torn

Instagram photo dump masterlist

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem singer/actress reader

Warning: age gap, mentions of poor mental health, depression, anxiety, mentions of abuse, talks of toxic relationships, divorce, fluff, angst, cursing. That’s all I hope :))

Plot: after a horrible article makes the headlines you find yourself back in a place where you judge your every move. Your crush on Austin only seems to grow as does your liking towards Joshua.

Word count: ~6500

Disclaimer: everything I write is fake. Except for the songs I mention.

I see it as soon as I wake up. The bad habit of waking up and checking my phone, giving my team no time to hide this from me. I stare at the screen of my phone with blurry eyes, the big red letters screaming at me.

"19 and taking hearts left and right"

The title reads and I could lie and say it's unexpected for a piece like this to be written, but it's not. I knew, I always did, but I guess I never anticipated how sharp and evil their words would be. Bringing up my parents divorce, saying dating is some coping mechanism, because they left me? Pulling up those pictures of me, balling my eyes out on the street. That day being one of the worst days of my life and they had the audacity to photograph it and now use it to justify my serial dating behavior? I know this is the price I pay for the job I chose, but sometimes the price feels higher than the reward.

With shaky hands I wipe my face, or try to, then turning my phone off I get up to go in the shower. The warm water engulfs me, my tears mixing with it. Each sob that shakes my body, makes my muscles contract painfully and I struggle to wash myself, as I feel like my legs might give out at any minute. I let out a scream so loud and sharp I scare myself and fall on the shower floor, clutching my head in my hands.

I need to get out, I need to breathe, I can't breathe. I'm stuck. I need out. I need...

Gathering up my strength, I get up, turning off the shower and ignoring the pain in my knees, which are sure to have bruises on them later. Using a warm towel to dry myself and then hurriedly putting on some clothes. Comfort being my goal I choose in oversized dark blue sweat suit. Staring at the clock, it's only 7:45 am, I woke up way too early, because of all the turmoil I faced in my sleep, caught between dreaming of Austin or Joshua. I'm supposed to be going to a fitting today, for the Oscars, also Jack expects me in the studio, but I can't. I don't want to see or talk to anyone right now. So I don't. My phone is turned off, it's too early for Matt to be here, my parents don't live here and don't care, it's easy for me to avoid people, so that's what I do.

Taking my bag, I make my way out of the apartment, after feeding Simba and William, no need for them to suffer just cause I do. Putting on sunglasses and hiding my hair as best as I can in a beanie, I walk out of the building, the cold air of the early morning hitting my cheeks. Behind my glasses my salty tears are still flowing. New York is busy as ever and I'm happy for it. The crowd occupied with whatever they have going on, so no one pays any attention to me, it's comforting, but I can't hope for it to last. I like to think about myself as one of those celebes who knows exactly how to work their private life, while keeping people entertained, I don't push fans away and I usually don't mind paparazzi, but then again, I wasn't an Oscar nominee before, nor was I lunching with famous men. I'm growing with my career and I arouse more excitement now I guess.

I'm walking like a crazy person, almost running, my feet carry me unconsciously down the street. Looking down at the watch on my wrist I see it's now 8:15am if I keep at this pace I'll be at the Chanel studio in about an hour, sure I'll be all sweaty and gross, but I don't care, at least I'm showing up. Showing up is the best I can do now. I try not to think about how everyone must be freaking out right now, calling my phone. By now Matt probably got to the apartment and is frantically searching for me, scared something bad might have happened.

I sigh annoyed that I didn't think to take time and text him that I'll go to the fitting by myself. I hate worrying people, but then again that's not healthy, because I often think if the worse were to come and that dark part of my brain took over, then I'd fail all of them, but I should be thinking about failing myself. It's my life and it has very little meaning to me, all I care is to be here for the people that I know care and my therapist has been struggling to drill into my brain that I should stop thinking of others and how my life affects them, but rather about myself and how I affect myself. Easier said than done. Guess I'll have to squeeze a session in today or tomorrow morning, because I know I'm not ok and I would like to know why. Because I can't accept the fact that, that article has me twisted like this, it has to be something more as well. It's not fair for my brain to fail me like this.

Lost in the spiral of my mind, I don't even acknowledge I got to my destination, until I'm looking up at the tall glass building. When I walk in I see Levis, coming out of the elevator, talking on the phone, worried, but when his eyes meet mine he visibly relaxes, murmuring some words into the phone and ending the call. "(Y/n), what the hell? Matt was frenetic, what happened?" I roll my eyes at him and go past him, to get inside the elevator, but he grabs my arm and keeps me in place. "Sweet pea, tell me? You know you're like my daughter, what's wrong?" I only shake my head, not really willing to talk about what's got me so twisted. With a defeated sigh, he understands and let's me go. I'm silent for the elevator ride and for most part of the fitting, only making the effort to talk when really necessary.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the tall mirrors and I have to force myself not to gasp. I look so tired. If Timmy or Roxanne would see me right now they would freak out and maybe they should. Sighing I turn around and show the stylist where I want modifications to be made. The whole process goes by in a haze, I'm not really here, my body is, but my mind?.... Well definitely somewhere else.

All that keeps going through my mind is : Are they right? Am I playing? But then again I know the truth, I know Austin is just a friend and so is Joshua. Sure I wrote Austin a whole song about wishing on dandelions for his love, but he's still just a friend. Ugh god I sound crazy, maybe I am. "So what do you think?" One of the stylists asks me, but I'm unable to actually formulate an opinion, so I smile and nod. I like it, do I think it's amazing? Not really. Does it age me a decade? Yes. But I do look beautiful and professional in the dark blue plaid pants, that are so wide legged they look like a skirt and the halter top white shirt, completes the look nicely. "Yeah, you can't go wrong with a classic!" I mutter and they go on to take the measurements needed for further alterations.

Happy to be out of playing dress up, I sink into the seat of the car, burying myself in the huge sweater I have on. Matt doesn't look at me, he just greets me politely as always. I know I scared him, disappearing like that on him. I don't think anyone on the outside could really understand how much the people working around me are like family to me, so them worrying for me is beyond a professional care.

I'm feeling a bit better now, but definitely not ready to go and finish 'Dandelions', Austin's song can wait. Instead I think I'll try to bring him a song I started a while ago.

I greet Jack with a tight hug and go to sit down at the piano. "So I've been thinking, about a lot lately, all these fittings and photo shoots, they have me hyper fixing on things." Jack listens as I play the piano, "Ok, so are we talking-" "Body image" he nods, closing his eyes to listen to the soft melody I'm playing. "She just want to be, beautiful" I sing "She goes, unnoticed she knows, no limits" I sigh and keep playing struggling to keep my voice steady. "She prays to be, sculpted by the sculptor." The rhythm of the song picks up now and Jack goes over to his computer snapping his fingers to the melody, adding it over the piano. "Oh she don't see, the light that's shining. Deeper then the eyes can find it. Maybe she's blind?" I shake my head. "Maybe we have made her blind?" He suggests and I sing it that way.

"So to all the girls that's hurting, let me be your mirror, help you see a little be clearer" I write that verse down, smiling at the almost complete song, for hours now we've been throwing lines at each other. I usually write my songs alone, but this felt right to be done like this, I trust him to know exactly what I want to say. "That's beautiful, I'm thinking for the end we can have you and a choir sing and you could be saying 'No better you than the you that you are, No better life than the life we're living' , but right at the end we quiet down the music and you go with the chorus again one last time, on your own" I like that idea, putting on the headphones and going to sing into the mic.

We get most of the song done, but we have to see about that choir and we still have a lot in production to do, but I'm confident, "Scars to your beautiful" will be a song able to touch many people, not just girls, because we unfortunately live in a society where molds and labels are frequently used. I haven't always been the kindest to myself, my body, my craft, my mind. I'm my worts critic, but that's normal, my therapist says. I didn't expect this morning to go in the studio with one line that came to me in a flash and from there to build a whole song. I kind of wanted to finish "Idontwanttobeyouanymore" , but I think I'll keep that for my sessions with Finneas, it feels like a song for him, maybe I could ask Billie to feature and do vocals? I write that idea down in my journal and closing it, I discard it in my bag, occupying myself with looking out the window at the fast moving city as Matt drives me back home.

When I get to my apartment everything is the same as I left it. I hate it. I used to come back home and mom would've cooked something, or cleaned something, maybe dad had built some new furniture or he was loudly watching tv in the kitchen, or they were both on the balcony smoking. I miss them, but then I remember those were the good simple times I missed. They're divorce was long coming, just like that source for the magazine said. My parents had a toxic relationship and they used to hurt each other a lot and me as well. They were also codependent on each other, so it took a lot of pushing for my mom to finally file for divorce. My dad, a smart manipulative man, who loves me truly, but who holds no respect for my mother, had his claws deep into her and he was abusive towards her, both verbally and physically, though the latter was not as often. As you can see it's safe to assume my dad blames me for the divorce, but so does my mom. They think I'm spoiled and unrealistic, living in a fake world with an imaginary career.

I pick up my phone from where I left it on my bed and turn it on, notifications flooding my screen. I delete the unimportant ones, reply to some emails and text back a few people, leaving the best for last. I open the group chat with Timmy and Roxanne, reading over their texts, they were both going crazy over my ghosting of them. With a shaky breath I start tipping.

Me:

Sorry guys, was busy in the studio. Had an early fitting for the Oscars as well

RoxiBear🐻:

Girl you had us worried. Everything ok? I saw that garbage article.

Me:

Yeah I'm ok, I guess. I don't know.

Timmy💝:

Don't lie!

Me:

I don't know what you want to hear. None of what they said was true.

RoxiBear🐻:

I'm with Tim on this one, don't lie.

Me:

Idk what to say. Yeah I was alone w/ Austin and then w/ Joshua, but nothing happened. I don't think

Timmy💝:

You don't think?

RoxiBear🐻:

What does that mean?

Sighing I decide this is too much to be carried over text, so I FaceTime them. They both answer in an instant, Timmy seeming tired, already lying in bed and Roxanne waiting at the airport for her flight home. "So I took Austin out, to show him New York, but that was that. I'm not making moves on him" I roll my eyes at the stupid assumption. "And with Joshua, I think it was a date? He did give me this, that was true" I lift up my right hand and they gasp at the sight of the bracelet. "Definitely a date, girl and that looks so gorgeous, it's your style" Roxanne says, and Tim is quick to chime in. "Yeah I can confirm the dude likes you, he skipped flowers and went straight to the rocks." I laugh, brushing a hand through my hair. "I guess what bothered me most was them using those pictures of me and saying that I'm doing this because of the divorce, it's just. If I wanted it discussed over media I would've streamed it." They laugh a bit at that, but return to their serious demeanors. "Hon' I wish I was there to hug you!" Timmy says, sticking out his bottom lip. "I will, in a few hours, I'm taking my Uber straight to your place, so let the front desk know I'm coming." Roxanne says, before she drops her phone, making us all giggle. "Shit, gotta go, how can I be at the airport early and still get late on my flight, fuck me! Bye, love you!" She waves quickly, ending the call, leaving just me and Timmy.

His knowing eyes watch me through the screen, but I know I have to cut this short, the dark circles under both of our eyes, prove that we need more sleep. "I hate to cut this short- " he breaks to yawn and as on cue I do the same. "-but I have early call time tomorrow. I just want you to know, that I'm with you no matter who you want?" This makes the hair on the back of my neck stick up. "What?" I ask almost scared of the answer. "Sweet dumpling, yesterday when we talked you had this light in your voice, now call me crazy and tell me that I'm wrong, but I do think that hanging out with Austin did it or maybe it was the anticipation of the date with Joshua? I don't know, but sis, you sounded alive, for the first time in months. So, and I know Roxi, would agree, have your fun, turn a blind eye to all the gossip. Dating isn't bad, neither is making new friends, so whichever you decide Austin and Joshua are, I think you shouldn't overthink it." Smiling at him I dry my now damp cheeks, I don't know why I'm surprised he said these things, he's always been there and he's never judged me just like never judged him. "But I don't even know, what this is? Not Austin, not Joshua. I'm just, I don't understand. I've never-"

I can't find the right words to say, the matter is still very new and unknown to me. I think I like Austin, I mean there's definitely a lot to like, but then there are those things that should stop me, like the age gap and the girlfriend, doesn't matter that the relationship is fake, it still exists. And then there's Joshua, didn't write a song for him and I barely spoke to him, but he's sweet and does make my heart beat faster. Ugh I don't know what this is. Am I living a teenage drama show? Am I in a love triangle? No, I'm not, cause I'm not sure either of them like me the way I like them. "(Y/n)?! Still there?" Timmy waved his hand in front of the camera and I blink to bring myself back to this reality. "Yeah, no I'm here, I'm just..." letting the words fly in the air, I watch as Timmy looks at me a little worried. "Sweet sœr, I hope you know Matt called me, I was scared. Are you having those thoughts again?"

I look away, shy about my past, but knowing full well I have no reason to be, I look back at him. He's talking about the thoughts that inspired "everything I wanted". Back before the divorce, when I was still filming for Reconstructing Amelia, I was slowly sliding in a dark place, being in constant conflict with my parents, feeling alone, useless, stupid, meaningless. My life meant little to nothing to me back then, I had gotten so wrapped up in those dark corners of my mind, I don't know that I actually ever thought of doing anything to myself, but I was definitely thinking that if something bad were to happen I'd be ok with it. I made myself think it's ok to feel like that, but it's not, no matter what, your life should mean something to you. I am now in a stable place, my life means something to me, not much more than it used to, I'm still working on it, it's a long process. "No, double B, I'm not, I'm just tired and sick of everything. I wrote a beautiful song today, but you should sleep now, you look tired."

A smile creeps up on his lips, his white shiny teeth showing up. "Please tell me if that changes, I'll be there in a second." Shaking my head, I wipe some of my tears away. "I will, sleep well, sweet dreams!" We wave at each other and then end the call. I sigh throwing my phone on the bed and splay on top of the sheets, starting at the ceiling. With my eyes closed I can once again take myself back to that night, when we danced, drunk or red Shiraz wine, swaying to the sound of 'Are you lonesome tonight'. Humming to myself, I get up and change into my purple silk pajamas. Lost in thought I almost miss the phone buzzing. Answering the call without looking who it is first. As I pick it up and look at the screen, the fact that is yet another FaceTime call is obvious and mess of blonde hair is showing up on the screen.

"Hey there!" The breath gets caught in the back of my throat as I lock eyes with Austin through the screen. "Austin..." he chuckles at my dumbfounded face, almost like him FaceTiming me out of the blue is just as normal as drinking water. "Yeah, I just wanted to see how you were? Been thinking of you and I read that pice of shit of an article. I wanted to make sure you're fine" I'm still a bit confused about this whole interaction, not really sure if it's real or if sometime between talking to Timmy and changing I fell asleep, so now this is all a dream. A beautiful dream. I also try not to read too much into him saying he's been thinking of me. "(Y/n)?" Austin's voice grows concerned as I seem to be just a frozen image on his screen, unmoving and definitely not breathing.

Shaking myself up, I push some of my hair behind my ears. "Sorry, yeah, no. I'm, well, you know , right, I'm -" I'm fucking rambling nonsense. He licks his lips, catching the bottom one with his top teeth, the flesh turning white, as it's released from the tight bite. I swallow thickly, trying to gather myself up. Taking a deep breath. "Sorry, I'm tired. The article, was-" I pause searching for the right thoughts. "A misogynistic piece of shit." He finishes for me making me giggle. "Yes, that exactly." He seems to be happy that he's managed to make me smile, a pleased look on his face. "Busy day?" He asks and I nod.

"Fitting for the Oscars, then I was in the studio until a few hours ago." Austin hums low, that sound vibrating through me like electric current. "Anything I can hear?" The question catches me a bit off guard. "I get it if I have to wait with the rest till the album is complete and out, but I like hearing you sing." And this right here is what I meant when I said, I liked the way he played his game, because he's a master at making me fold. The blush that rose into my cheeks, a scarlet shade, painting my skin. "Wait here!" He laughs as I prop my phone up on my pillows and jump off the bed, to run into the living room and get my guitar.

"Ok, I'm back" I say jumping on the mattress, placing the guitar in my lap. "I can see!" He snickers, making me blush one more time. The soft pads of my fingers, brush the rough strings of the guitar, the simple cord progression filling the room with a beautiful slow sound. "Ok so this song is not done. I'm waiting for Finneas to come to New York next week and finish it." Austin nods, turning over in bed to lay on his side, one hand tucked under his head. Sleepy blue eyes staring at me. "Don't be that way, fall apart twice a day, I just wish you could feel what you say" I sing, harmonizing the words. "Show never tell, but I know you too well, Got a mood that you wish you could sell." Sighing I keep going, preparing myself for the dark and twisted chorus. "If teardrops could be bottled, there'd be swimming pools filled by models. Told a tight dress is what makes you... a whore" closing my eyes, I push back my feelings. "If 'I love you' was a promise, would you break it if you're honest? Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before"

"I don't want to be you anymore..." this is how far I've gotten to writing this one. Opening my eyes again, I look at Austin, but I'm not able to read anything about what he's thinking. "That was so beautiful." A relieved sound escapes my lips and I lick them before talking again. "Thank you, it's not really about runway models, I meant models, like, the people you look up to." He nods "Yeah I get that's it's about the pressure you're under when you're supposed to be some example for the world" blinking stupidly at him, I feel the kick of my heart against my chest, like a punch coming from the inside.

Placing my right hand on top of my heart, I massage slow circles into the muscles there, over my silk top. I see something in Austin's eyes change and if I didn't know any better I'd say it's jealousy? But that can't be it.

Looking down at the place where my hand rests on my chest, you can clearly see the bracelet Joshua gave me, but that upsetting him makes little to no sense, he clears his throat before speaking. "Did I get it right?" He asks, a tint of knowing in his tone. With a big smile on my face, I nod. Austin seems fairly pleased with getting the meaning of my song right.

In the silence that falls between us for a few seconds, my stomach growls and I pray he didn't hear it, but he did. "Did you eat today?" He asks and I try to hide my face in my shoulder, knowing how red it must be. It's embarrassing for my body to betray me like this. "No, I didn't have time" he sits up on his bed, ruffing up his curly hair. God how soft it look, I wish I could touch it.

"Go eat, it's not healthy to not eat." Sighing I look at my lap, running a list of everything I have in my fridge. There's plenty of food, but none of it sounds appetizing and I'd have to cook it, which I hate. "I'm not that hungry." As I say that, my stomach makes a point to growl again. "I think your body betrays you here." He says giggling. The sound of his soft laugh, bringing a smile to my face. "I'd have to cook, not my forte, I'll eat tomorrow." I try to reason, but it's clear he won't have it.

Austin stands up from his bed, confusing me a bit about where this is going. "Well I'm hungry as well, so why do we cook together?" He raises a brown at me, biting his lip in waiting for an answer, but he's already up and walking to his kitchen. I laugh and also drag myself off of the bed, to make my way into the kitchen. "Ok I'll trust you." He smiles from ear to ear, walking quickly through his house.

When the both of us are in the kitchen, I place my phone down, prompting it up on the counter against a jar of cat treats. "Let's make French toast? It's not hard." I shake my head before he gets a chance to defend the choice of food. "Ok not that, let's see..." he looks through his fridge and pulls out a cartoon of eggs. "Scrambled eggs?" Austin questions. "Yeah, that we can make." I say, going over to my fridge to get everything out.

After I lay everything out in front of me, looking at Austin expecting, waiting for me to tell me what to do, even though I actually know how to make eggs. "Ok put the pan on the stove, medium heat" I do as he says, following his steps, like I've never done this before, hoping he won't see through my little lie. "After it's warmed up, add butter and crack the eggs in it." Carefully I add butter into the pan and swirl it around to coat it evenly, then I crack two eggs and discard of their shells into the bin. "Good girl" I get goosebumps all over and it's a good thing I have my back to the phone cause I know that if he were to see my face right now, he'd catch me and my little crush. "Use the spatula to mix the eggs in the pan and break them into smaller pieces."

With a shaky hand I grab the spatula and do as instructed, staring into the pan, like it'll give me an answer, like those eggs would arrange themselves into a sentence and say: you're not dreaming, he likes you too. Suddenly I feel an itch all over my skin, like I miss something and when I realize what it is, it hits me like a train. Because it's his touch. I miss him. The way he swayed with me in my living room, like we had no worry in the world. "Show me." Austin demands and in a robotic stance I take the phone and turn the camera towards the pan. "You're a natural, add salt and pepper." I put the phone down, adding the seasoning as he said.

After a few minutes our virtual cooking class ends and we are sitting each at our table, in different states, looking at each other through a phone. "So when are you coming to LA for the Verity interview?" He asks eating some food. Putting some food into my mouth as well and chewing it carefully, I skim through my schedule into my brain. "Hm so today it the 28th, Oscars are on March 12th, I should be there on the 15th" I nod double confirming the information I just gave. "You'll have to come over, have dinner, I'll make you pizza in my stone oven, I bought this house especially for it, my ex's had one and in the beginning of quarantine I got addicted to it."

"Yeah I know, you told me you once cooked 20 pizzas in a day." I interrupt and he laughs drinking some water, leaving me staring at his Adam's apple moving up and down. "Yeah I guess I did, so are you coming?" Eating some more food into, I try not to seems so desperate about seeing him, so I struggle to be casual. "Sure, I will." Austin seems happy with the answer. "Great it's settled, I promise you, I'll cook you the best pizza you've ever had."

"Could you actually teach me how to make it? You're a good teacher." I ask. Austin seems a bit surprised at my request, but a wide smirk quickly appears on his face as he scratches his chin. " 'Course I'll teach you, we'll make it all, from the dough to the very end" I raise my brows at him, shocked at the extent of his love for cooking. "Hm ok then it's only fair I find something to teach you." I get up from the table and move over to the sink to rinse the plate and pan and put them into the dishwasher, cleaning after myself. "How about crochet?" He suggests, the fact that he remembered it is a hobby of mine, making my heart skip a beat. "Sure, I'll do it." I say drying my hands on a towel, folding it and placing it back in its place afterwards.

Taking the phone in hand and walking back into my room, I plop down onto the bed. "Was that a twilight poster I just saw?" Austin asks, a deep color flushing my cheeks. "Maybe" I bite my lip to stop my smile from getting too big and turn the camera around to show him my poster wall. "Wow, marvel, Disney, twilight, lady Gaga, Madonna, you've got all the goods." Austin's amazed tone makes me laugh. "Well what can I say, I like the things I like and I love posters, let me show you this one." I get up and take him over to the opposite wall to show him the huge poster I have of Elvis singing dressed in the leather suit, for the '68 comeback show. "I have that suit." Turning the camera quickly around so he could see my surprised face, I search his face for a hint that this is a lie, no way he just casually confessed to stealing such a piece.

"I'll show it to you when you come over, I have the movie replica of course, but still, it's beautiful." His raspy voice sounds so angelic, I could listen to it nonstop. "I can't wait for you to show me." I say jumping back on the bed. "You didn't show me your room, when I was over Saturday." Austin points out, pouting like a little child. "It escaped my mind, I guess" I try to play it cool, but he can probably see right through me, as he laughs. "I'm sure it did." A wide smirk stretching on his face.

I turn on my side in bed and put the phone down on some pillows, so he can see me without me having to hold the phone up. "So how about you, any interesting work in the future?" He shakes his head rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. "Not for the moment, just press, but then I start working on Dune 2, in late August, so I guess that one will be exciting." I knew that, Timmy told me he was casted for a role in that movie, but I try to hide the fact that that was already known information for me. "Hm means you'll get to know Tim plenty." I conclude. "Yeah, I guess I will. Though I'm not sure he likes me, that much." I shrug my shoulders, knowing that's only half true. "It's my fault though, I kind of, you know"

"Dated his ex?" I finish for him, as he nods. Austin's lips stretch out in a thin line, he seems fairly embarrassed by the fact that I knew about him and Lily-Rose. "Well Timmy will get over it." Relieved he lets out a breath that gets caught in his lungs midway, following my next words. "If you are on your best behavior" I push my lips together trying to hold my laughter in, but failing miserably as a fit of laughter shakes my body and he follows suit joining me. "Your laughter is so beautiful." I stop laughing and look at him wide eyed, he seems just as surprised as me, that those words came out of his mouth. Austin moves his mouth open and closed like he's trying to say something, but nothing comes out and I'm holding my breath, scared that if I were to breathe right now, this whole moment would vanish. "Thank you." I whisper, placing the backs of my hands on my cheeks, feeling how hot the flesh is burning.

Neither of us knows how to move on from what just happened, but we have to bounce back. He has a girlfriend and I'm, well, I guess I'm just me. William jumps up on the bed and comes to snuggle close to me, getting in the camera view. A wide grin shows up on my face as I pet the cats fur and it immediately starts purring. "Hey there good boy." Austin says, as William turns his small head towards my phone, sniffing at the screen, before burying his face in my neck, making me giggle at feeling of his wet nose against my warm skin. "He likes me" Austin states proudly, smiling from ear to ear. Just then a yawn goes past my lips and in true lady fashion I cover my mouth with my hand.

"You're tired and I'm keeping you up." He says sounding disappointed. It's then that I look at the time and see it's now almost midnight, means I should probably get back to sleep as I have yet another early morning tomorrow. "It's fine-" "Oh god I'm so stupid, it must be midnight in New York right now, I'm so sorry." He interrupts me, apologizing for not taking into account the three hours difference. The way he seems so upset with himself, raises a new feeling within me, again a very unknown, very warm feeling, indescribable by all means. "You should be sleeping" now Austin's voice sounds almost scolding, like he's somewhat directing the loosing track of time on me as well. I feel small and bring my knees up to my chest, caging William in between my torso and legs. "I'm sorry, it's my fault, I should have thought about time difference." Austin sighs, dragging a hand over his face. "I just, I don't know, I got home and picked up the phone, calling without thinking."

"It's ok Austin, no harm was done, plus if it weren't for you, I probably would've gone to sleep without eating." The features on his face don't soften, if anything they grow more stern. "I'll take that win, but you should know that's not ok, you should be eating!" He seems to be slowly relaxing and coming back to his jovial stance. "Anyway guess it's time I let you sleep. Sweet dreams, my darling!" He puts three fingers up to his lips, kissing then and blowing the kiss to me. My heart starts racing and my cheeks flush a deep burgundy color. "Goodnight Austin!" I say and end the call with a small wave.

After the call is ended, I shift on my back and hold the device close to my heart. "My darling" I whisper, as if the words were a sacred spell. He called me darling and he called me his. The ceiling is spinning and I feel light headed. I can feel the irregular thud of my heart against my breast bone and I struggle to get my breathing back to normal. I feel like I'm flying. Is this how having a crush feels like? Like you're drunk? Not that I've ever been drunk, but I've been tipsy in the past and it feels like that, only stronger.

Closing my eyes I dive back into my memory of his soft lips against my cheek, the way it felt as the little wet spot left behind dried. I go back to his flaming hands on my waist, missing the weight of them. I remember the way my cheek rested so perfectly against his chest as he held me close, like we were two puzzle pieces, designed to fit together.

I'm woken up from all my dreaming as the phone vibrates against my chest, my excitement picking up, thinking it might be Austin. The notification is not from him, but it still has the power to get me to blush even harder, if that were possible. Joshua's name shines on the screen and I open the text.

🎶Joshua🎶:

Hi, sorry for not calling today as I promised and sorry for the late hour, I just got back to my hotel from a gig.

Me:

No worries, I don't mind the hour.

🎶Joshua🎶:

Let me make it up to you. Are you free tomorrow?

Me:

Sure, I think I can manage some free time around noon.

🎶Joshua🎶:

Perfect, how about a walk in Central Park?

Me:

That's my favorite place in the city.

🎶Joshua🎶:

Ha lucky me, seems like I guessed right and you'll be sharing that secret place with me after all. I count on you for a tour💟

Me:

You've got it. Good guess by the way. Hope your gig went well. Did you have fun?

🎶Joshua🎶:

Yes!!! it was amazing, I love playing in front of my fans. I have another one Thursday night, you should come.

Me:

Hmm 🤔 sure I'll be there.

🎶Joshua🎶:

Ok I'll sing my best! I should let you sleep now. Have a nice sleep, honey💟

Me:

I'm 100% sure you'll do great. Get some sleep as well, it's late. Gn💟

I lock my phone and place it on my nightstand, trying the relax enough, so that I could get some well deserved sleep, but I'm wide awake. Wide awake thinking of how my mind keeps circling back to every pet name Austin and Joshua use with me, struggling to convince myself they are just verbal ticks and not a real signs of affection.

Pushing my face harder against the pillows, I count my breaths, slowly coming down to sleep. But before I fall into complete darkness a flash of color splashes in front of my eyes, it's blue, a shiny Egyptian blue - his eyes.

Tags: @kittenlittle24 @amorx @cryingabtab @lexicox044 @lrissa @feral4austinbutler @sageskywalker @jesssssicaa @rainydayz101 @flwersgarden @bobthefishiesworld @captured-memory @homebodybirkin2003 @galaxygirl453 @butlerslut @chrisevansgirl34 @myradiaz @pennyroyalcreep @macey234 @im-lame-irl @lordandmistress @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @poppet05 @gabbywontlose @4shbug @0-thegoodwitch-0 @hauntedarchivesx @chewiethecatus @sunnyx07 @francesbloomer @jessaroni19 @finelineskies @stargirlbytheweeknd @cerenaydins-blog @girlblogger2002 @gigisworldsstuff @my-baexht-Is @xmusselisims @denised916 @bluepeacheslandia @kibumslatina

@samaraannhan20 @goldobsessionworld @silliypapercreatorangle @cmrxac @donnamarie23 @justarandomfamdomblog @marlowmode @natsnosehair @xxgggooomm @banksmars @namoreno @areuirish @choppedlamphandscowboy @yeetfack-blog @fangirl125reader @aliceforbes @k-1898

138 notes · View notes

captainjacklyn · 2 years

Note

A headcanon where f!crush invite herself to spend the night at idia's room and HIS bed, because there is no way she is sleeping on the floor.

ramdomly confess to him while lying on his bed (couldnt find a better time) and patiently waiting for his answer

I pray for the school...as it will get burned down-

Thank you for requesting this anon, I hope it isn't too late than you wished it to be.

Warning(s) : arson, cursing/cussing/swearing (Idk what you want to call it but basically 'bad words'), they're not exactly bad words they're simply 'repulsive' or 'dirty' in a way. spoilers for idia's backsory [no angst just CRACK]

...

SNIFFFFFFF-

Pairing(s) : Idia shroud x f!reader

Idia receives an unexpected visit from his crush (Head canon)

this was meant to be a normal day. But of course, why wouldn't you kick down his door and yell like a maniac :

"I'M SLEEPING HERE WETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT SUCKER !"

idia.exe has stopped working please restart

Luckily he was too shocked and speechless about the whole situation that even his hair took time to process what ever the fuck was happening right now.

When he did realize....

Oh boy.

"We are currently witnessing Night Raven College getting burned to a 54˚C fire, most students are outside receiving medical attention. More on this later, I am Lady Orchidia and I don't get payed enough for this bullshit-"

why...?

Why would you do this...?

Anyways, he was basically loading like a computer receiving slow WIFI. He then turned into a bugging mess and fidgeted all over the place, for those who are curious this is how he sounded like :

W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what ?! U-u-u-u-u-u-u-u...

Practically transformed into Wattpad (y/n) 2.0

Since this is boring I'll directly skip to the good part where you both head to sleep because it's difficult as hell to make this no friends dude have rest at all.

You rest in HIS bed and Idia is far too embarrassed to sleep in the same bed as you like what in the fanfiction is this-

At some point he ends up listening to your endless nagging of : please, please, please, please, please, etc

Afterwards, his ego starts to build up and he grins like an evil villain who constantly goes MUAHAHAHA cause they gotta go emo once in their arc.

He's insecure but at the same time feels hella confident like this men is a mix of hades with a guy who's just shy and depressed.

"I love you Idia, just so you know."

...

GIRL WHAT THE HELL-

"We are all here today, celebrating the life of Idia who practically didn't do anything in the game besides kidnapping students and creating an android to replace his very dead brother-"

Idia stans please don't come at me.

F I T A L I T Y

Hope you liked it.

270 notes · View notes

tripleyeeet · 7 months

Note

*puts on a very vampirey outfit before tapping the microphone*

HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME BACK TO TUESDAY INTERVIEW - HALLOWEEN EDITION!!!

I'm your host Annie and today I'm once again here with out beloved and spooky Summer!!!

First and foremost! Last Saturday we had the newest update to A Lover's Folly, one that we were waiting with bathed breath after the heartstopping cliffhanger of the previous one! Finally, our hearts can rest in peace, even though many have been broken even more by this chapter...

"AAOAUGJGHGHHHH I AM EXPLODING INTO A MILLION PIECES I AM VISCERA ON THE GROUND ABOUT THIS. AUGH" - @morkify

#i am devastated - @lynnlovesthestars

"SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THIS IS EXCELLENT" - @ermlady

Summer, how do you feel about this most visceral reactions? Are you flattered, sorry or joyous that you've caused us even more pain despite also the great joy that you brought on us?

Moreover, you did share the list of your current wips which, I must say, are quite many. But the real question is: which are you most excited to write, as of right now? which do you think will be most challenging above the others? and which, do you think, will break our heart even more?

Now, to the important things, HALLOWEEN IS HERE!

So, our dear Summer, what would be your perfect Halloween costume and party and day? I'm sure everyone is curious to know! (and even if they aren't, I am and I would like to know)

HI I'M FINALLY ANSWERING THIS <3 sorry i'm so bad at tuesday interview lately i promise i'll do better.

to answer your questions, i'm very happy that chapter of lover's folly is done. not because i didn't like it but because i definitely felt bad for that cliffhanger. it was evil and totally not my intention to take a hiatus immediately after but unfortunately that's just how the timing worked. :') honestly, i'm just glad it's hurting people's feelings enough to get a reaction. i'm such a slut for readers yelling at me in the comments for the things i've put them through. (as you know hehe)

for the wips, i uh, yeah. i have a lot. i wrote a more in-depth list today to kind of solidify the ones that are coming sooner but i think the one i'm most excited for is rage is a quiet thing which is more of a character study on astarion than a fic. it'll follow kind of his psyche throughout the events of the cazador confrontation with perhaps a little bit of flashback action depending on the layout but overall it'll definitely be heartbreaking because i feel like it's been forever since i've written some really good angst.

and uh, i think my perfection halloween costume would probably be nadja from wwdits? i was going to be her this year but then all my plans fell through (my dream halloween plans are just a small house party, love those) and i was just too broke after my trip to buy anything worth just sitting around at home for. so, maybe next year? :)

#asks #tuesday interview

8 notes · View notes

cherryberry-sugarandspice · 6 months

Note

I have decided to cook, I made onions and I am way too miserable so you will be sad with me 🧑‍🍳

Enjoy my shitty writing (I had nothing better to do <3)

Also this happens after Minnie's death but no identify reveal for the sake of it (I'm a horrible person)

Tw: blood and death, future grieving ig ?, sad ppl, angst, MIGUEL FUCKING DIES OKAY (I'm sorry)

_____

In every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls in love with Spiderman...

Maybe it was bad luck. Or maybe you were just too slow.

He's saying something, you can't tell what. He's looking at you. He's bleeding, he's bleeding too much- why did it have to happen today ? He was just meant to work and come back home. Like he did yesterday. Like he did for the last 1 278 days.

You can feel him clenching your wrist, he's trying to get your attention, but you're not here. You feel yourself drift in grief and sorrow and guilt. He brings his hand to the side of your mask, trying to lift it. But he fails. He fails as his last moments are spent in your arms, his last breath is spent looking at you.

Does he even know it's you ? You may never know.

What about the kid you were supposed to give him ? What about the kid who was already there ? How are you gonna explain to her that both of her parents left her now ? You can already feel the tears rolling down on your shoulder, the one of a kid who was broken twice by those who were meant to protect her.

You will never have the happiness of them knowing the truth, you can't make the same mistake again and again. You will always have to lie to keep them alive, in the end. Better to be a liar then a murderer, right...?

You wonder if somewhere, maybe in another universe, you're eating together with Minnie. All laughing, and talking about your lives, and being alive.

...And in every other universe. It doesn't end well.

-sincerely, the same anon that brought up the idea ;p

"How are you gonna to explain to her that both of her parents left her now?"

LIAR YOU AINT SORRY

Lock your doors.

Lock your FUCKING DOORS

I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF YOUR PILLOWS ARE WARM SODBOZBDOSHSISHSOJS

BUTTERSCOTCH! SICK EM BUTTERSCOTCH! ATTACK! ATTAAAAACK

Omg the agnst is great but MIGUEL NOOOO

I WONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU MIGUEL GET BEHIND ME!! GET BEHIND ME !!

Anon you're evil😭😭 but....low key been thinking of what would happen if Miguel got hurt in spiderwoman!reader's universe lol BUT HE WONT DIE!!

WHY DO YOU KEEP ATTACKING ME ANON!! WHY!!

Thanks for shoving onions into my eyes )^:<

#cherryberry answers #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #OUCH #WHY ANON WHY

6 notes · View notes

ladyhoneydee · 7 months

Text

30 Day Song(fic) Challenge: Day 10

Good evening! I'm officially a third of the way through this challenge, and I have to say, I am learning a lot. I'm also writing more varied ships than I ever have before, which is super fun!

Today's prompt for my Song(fic) Challenge was "A song you never get tired of", for which there could only ever be one true contender. You see, back in the summer of 2018, I had a phase where I listened to the song "As the World Falls Down" by David Bowie (from the movie Labyrinth) on repeat for literally hours every day for months straight. It was ridiculous, and it proved that I truly could never get tired of that song.

A note on this one! In this fic, Sheik is genderfluid. I am not genderfluid myself, so if my characterization is off or in some way disrespectful, please feel free to give concrit in the comments!

A Love that Lasts a Lifetime

Game: Ocarina of Time, post-canon, adult timeline

Pairing: Sheik/Malon

Word Count: 1525

Keywords: romance, yearning while dancing, angst

Jagged breaths puffed into Malon’s face, blowing back the flyaways that had come free of her crown of braids. Tears tracked down Sheik’s own cheeks. Malon wanted more than anything to wipe them away, but the terror that breaking from their dance would shatter the moment kept her frozen in their slow spiral. “You can give me a love that lasts a lifetime,” Sheik whispered.

Read the fic on Ao3, or under the cut!

It was the fourth ball in as many moons. Malon would’ve thought the expense extravagant, overly-indulgent, but Sheik had been putting twice as much of the royal coffers—what remained of them, anyway—into helping the people with evacuations, building a new fleet of ships so each town could have at least one, and providing provisions for any citizen, regardless of whether or not they planned to flee Hyrule. She’d asked Sheik, during a break between breathless reels during the third ball, why he was putting so much effort towards such frivolous things.

“Because the people have so little to hope for, and so little time remaining before their lives change forever. I want to give them something frivolous and dazzling to look forward to and enjoy.”

His sentiment was beautiful, the words altruistic. But Malon knew they were at least partially fueled by guilt. Because on another evening, when Malon and Sheik had sat beside one another on a castle balcony in their nightgowns, on a rare night between rainstorms, she had told Malon that it was her fault. That the goddesses were flooding the world because there was no hero. And that there was no hero because she had sent him back in time.

The words had poured out through helpless sobs. All Sheik had wanted at the time was to let her lover escape the trauma he’d been put through in this broken Hyrule, to free him from the yoke of rebuilding after everything else he’d done. She’d thought that evil surely wouldn’t rise again in her lifetime; after everything, it ought to have been sealed away for a generation or more, and the worst she’d have to deal with would be the desperate poverty of the citizenry and her own lack of political training.

And yet, here they were, with darkness, and the water sent to quench it, already rising.

And here Malon was, holding Sheik in her arms as they danced.

Hyrule’s leader was stunning that night. Malon had always thought so, even when Sheik was nothing more to her than a skinny sixteen-year-old boy, knocking on the barn door with an offer to trade news of the world outside the farm’s fences for milk and company. Now, as the de facto leader of their broken kingdom—although not the Queen, never the Queen, or King for that matter—spun out from Malon and back, the sea foam green of her last remaining dress contrasting beautifully against her strawberry blonde hair.

Malon just had to pretend not to notice the irony of the watery dress swirling around Sheik’s ankles like the incoming tide, and the moment would be perfect.

The band was little more than a wind quintet, with the addition of a single frazzled percussionist trying to cover every part at once. The size of each ensemble had dwindled alongside the elegance of the decor and the number of attendees. That evening’s ball had only the ballroom’s intrinsic architectural opulence and majesty to dazzle its few dozen guests—a far cry from the first, which had been packed to the brim with hundreds of attendees from every possible background.

As if reading her thoughts—or perhaps simply following Malon’s gaze around the room—Sheik murmured, “My father would be so ashamed, if he could see where we are now.”

Malon’s hand clenched on Sheik’s waist for a nearly imperceptible moment. “Your father could do no better than you have, put in the same situation. And if he tried to judge you for your kindness and persistence, I would be the first to throw him out.”

Sheik laughed lowly, and then sighed. “Perhaps you’re right. It does no good to dwell on it, regardless.”

Mirrored by dancing couples all around, she dipped Malon back, and gently pulled her back upright. Through it all, Malon couldn’t look away from Sheik’s eyes. One blue, one red. Two priceless jewels, gleaming with melancholy.

Malon couldn’t remember a time Sheik’s eyes hadn’t held that reserved sadness. At their first meeting, she had imagined it to be loneliness; after learning of Sheik’s true identity, she’d thought it loss; when Sheik had crumpled into her arms with the weeping words that Link was gone, never to return, she’d known it heartbreak; as he received the first dream from the goddesses of what was to come, she’d seen it to be despair. And through all the shades of Sheik’s sadness, Malon stayed by their side: first as an uncommon companion, then as a loyal confidante, and later, as the years passed, as an unspoken beau.

To love Sheik was to hold their sadness in the palm of your hand, and offer them a warm place to store their smiles.

The dancers paused, upright, to applaud as the sextet finished the piece. They truly were talented. Malon wasn’t sure why they had decided to go down with the ship of their kingdom—or at least remain with it even this far into the flooding—rather than boarding one that could keep them safe, but she found herself grateful for their choice.

The string bass thrummed them into a waltz. Or perhaps merely an odd slow dance—the tempo was slow and measured, the sound dreamy, but Malon counted four beats to a measure rather than the standard three.

Whatever it was, she liked it. If she were a song, she’d be an odd one, too.

She felt Sheik draw closer. “You’re humming. Did you know?”

Malon had not.

“It’s charming. I love your musicality.” Sheik paused, and added, wistfully, “It’s been a very long time since I heard you sing.”

“Has it?” Malon was shocked. Was she really so departed from the girl who would sing in the horse pastures every night until the moon was high overhead? “I like singing for you. You would only need to ask.”

“That’s precisely why I haven’t. How could I ask for more than you’ve already given me?”

The melancholy in Sheik’s gaze was stronger now, mixed with something Malon feared to name, and ached for in equal measure. It was a knife twisting below her ribs, the caress of a feather on her cheek.

They’d been dancing around far more than a ballroom for so long.

Malon took a breath, and felt it catch in the tightness of her throat. “You know, they say the moon controls the tides.”

Sheik’s brows furrowed in amused puzzlement at the non sequitur. “I have heard that, yes.” She paused, and her mouth twisted wry and razor-sharp. “Do you think the moon is the one doing the goddess’s bidding, hailing the Flood?”

Dammit, that was not what Malon was trying to lead to. “If it is, it’s a traitor.”

Sheik’s responding hum was light and noncommittal. Malon could have screamed. Instead, she smiled, and effortlessly switched the flow of their movements so she was the one leading their dance. Sheik’s lips curved in surprise, and then affection.

With Malon in the lead, she widened their circle until they were at the very edge of the room, beside the glass doors that would lead to the balcony, if they hadn’t been closed against yet another torrential downpour. The sound of the rain was louder here, blending into the slow sweetness of the band. It offered cover for any lovers who wished to whisper amongst themselves.

“I would give you the moon, if I could,” Malon murmured.

Sheik’s eyes widened. “Malon…”

“Please, Sheik, don’t you think we’ve kept it to ourselves long enough?”

“I…” Her expression was conflicted, but Sheik didn’t argue. Malon forged ahead.

“I know you feel responsible for all of this, and that you believe you deserve nothing good or beautiful yourself, even as you do your best to ensure it for everyone else. I won’t take your guilt from you—that’s yours to do what you will with. But I would give you everything, if I could. Golden mornings, if I could chase away the rain. The stars themselves, if I had the strength to pull them down.” She took a steadying breath. “More than anything, I want to give you a love that will last. It breaks my heart that we…that we won’t…”

She couldn’t eke out any further words beyond the boulder weighing heavily in her throat.

The length of Sheik’s body brushed hers, and clung close. She felt her arms wrap more securely around her waist and back. The sensations lit up her nerves like kindling, and yet she could spare them hardly a moment of attention, because Sheik had just leaned her forehead against Malon’s own.

“You can give me a love that lasts a lifetime,” Sheik whispered.

Joy, joy that strummed her heartstrings until they twinged and broke. She knew what Sheik was offering. She knew what they would never be allowed to give.

She broke the dance.

“Until the world falls down.”

Lips locked in the rain-streaked night.

#loz #ocarina of time #oot #malon/sheik #malon x sheik #fanfic #my fanfiction #30 day song(fic) challenge #masheik

5 notes · View notes

psychedelic-ink · 1 year

Text

SOOOOO I saw spiderverse today and I have THOTS and since I went alone and didn't get the chance to scream at it to no one I'm going to scream about it very messily here so apologies in advance

gosh and we had two annoying high schoolers who kept taking pictures with FLASH during the movie??? After the 10th one for the first time in my life, I actually told them to stop because it was so annoying, at least take them without flash damn

there are very heavy spoilers under the cut you have been warned

not me immediately starting to tear up at gwen's backstory, I love gwen so so much and adored the angst of it all, even tho it made me shatter

love that no matter which universe all spidermen have complicated family relationships no matter what, I really really love Miles's dad and mom, they're amazing, such a power couple

THE SPOT bless him that introduction was so fun

adoredddd Pavitr Prabhakar and Hobie, I liked that Hobie basically knew that the whole thing was fucked up and thought Miles how to properly use her electricity

MIGUEL--- okay my heart breaks for this man but I love that he has a soft side (also a dramatic side fgbfg) he apparently shows to the ones he like the most dvdfvb (aka not miles which is a shame because he was so psyched to meet him)

Oscar Isaac did an amazing job, and yes, you can expect me to write fics for Miguel. I don't make the rules

full disclosure I'm still confused why Peter B was with Miguel when the universe he inhabited was getting destroyed?? I might've missed something there but I like that they have a shared backstory

ALL THE EASTER EGGS ADREW, TOBEY, PS4 SPIDERMAN, DONALD GLOVER????????????

okay I was not expecting Miles to be an anomaly???? I actually loved that but also, you guessed it, I was a wreck dvfdbf

the entire fight sequence was *chefs kiss*

I don't know if he was there and I missed it but would've loved to see 1994 animated spider man

I understand but also can't believe Peter B and gwen didn't at least warn him after Miguel ended up there--they could've at least warn a guy. I would be super hurt too by that, that scene in it's entirety was so brutal. Imagine someone just telling you your entire existence is an anomaly. It's even worse because that world's peter died because of him and he's seen that impact, met aunt may, which make it so much worse for him. I just wanna give him a hug

also I understand that all heroes need a death to get them going (at least in this situation with the spidermen) but didn't Miles already complete his family member death poll? Do all police captains die so they can fulfill their destiny or whatever you want to call it?

evil miles???? fuck that entire scene was so so chilling, I loved every second of it. I legit got goosebumps. My theory is actually he's not like a bad guy (even tho I just called him evil miles lmaosvd) it might be cliche but I feel like he's the prowler to be a sorta "spiderman" since universe-42 doesn't have one.

Even tho he seems menacing he just stared a fact that it's not his dad, which. . . is true so I don't think they're just going to make him straight up the villain or anything

Part 2 is going to be epic, I squealed when I saw the og team (and others) team up again!! FUCK I AM SO EXCITED

conclusion; I can't wait to watch this movie over and over like I did with the first one and the animation was just *chefs kiss*

sorry this whole post is a mess lmao but if you have any thoughts please feel free to share!

#sil talks.🎤#across the spider verse #across the spiderverse spoilers #spiderverse spoilers

11 notes · View notes

minzart · 2 years

Note

At first I was uninterested towards BB AU because I don't like evil or angst cruel stuff but the more I read it. I'd like to see how it goes but man it do be painful.

So how does Chapter 5 work here? I doubt the VDC Group would stay in the Ramshackle Dorm because Crowley ain't fixing it, unless someone decided to pay for it to be furnished without Yuu's knowledge or as a gift for Yuu. Does Yuu not enter the audition room to watch or they watch from the otherside of the window while cleaning Pomefiore Dorm? Would the beach scene with Epel not occur? It does but Yuu takes Deuce stead causing Epel also start having a Yandere obsession as well? Does Yuu also become manager as well? Even I don't know if the part where Malleus fix the stage occurs. Unless Yuu was given an extra VDC ticket to invite others but knows no one to give it to then Lilia barges in and recommends a friend of his that never gets invited a lot (not mentioning Malleus). Yuu feels skeptical and could guess it's Malleus but decides to give them an invitation even knowing the consequences. They're done with this, they're ready for what's coming

That's so many questions and thoughts

First things first I want you to know how touched I am, bc you specifically said you didn't like cruel aus and even tho you read, probably by curiosity, and then you got invensted and for some reason that made em feel like I'm doing a good job so thank you so much??? I don't even know how to explain it??? Just ( ;°;)

And second: I am VERY SORRY for the LONG WAIT IN THIS ONE

So, remember how chapter 4 is before 5 and Kalim goes Yandere for Yuu there? Yup, Kalim offers to pay for a reform in Ramshackle, wich Yuu partially agrees, just the most serious things got fixed like the roof, Yuu would be happy with only their room being in good condition but Kalim insisted in reforming some more bc sleepover he's dieing to suggest

Early mornings were always a blessing in NRC, when the students were too groggy to care about their surroundings, when the headmaster was mostly found in his office, when teachers were only preparing their classrooms, when the sound of birds were Yuu's only companions

Today Pomefiore was the dorm assigned to Yuu's care, it's one of the friendlier dorms, for what Yuu most got from the students was a snobbish look and nothing more, but it's always a breathtaking to see it's walls and garden shine in the early morning sun

They swept and cleaned until the floor shined, finally taking a break as the first busy hour of the day started, as they rested a boy with lavender hair passed running by, he looked extremely tired and angry, but that's noone of their business is it? No. It isn't.

They lie to the hunter anyway...

Rook: pardon me but, have you seen a boy passing by in a hurry?

He approached from behind, quietly as a cat and Yuu is sure his intention was to scare them, poor guy should have tried that before Azul's overblot, Jade made sure Yuu knew how to perceive someone's presences now, by... prolongued experiencing it

Yuu: wich one? Many students seemed to wake late today y'know

The boy's eyes narrow, a glint of something more, something dangerous lured behind his smile, and Yuu knew they attracted the attention of someone they shouldn't, he already knew the truth didn't he?

Rook: is that so? A purple haired one perhaps?

He leaned in closer, watching and memorizing every inch of Yuu's presence

Yuu: yeah,but I don't know where he went tho, didn't pay attention

Yuu holds his gaze, instinct screaming to look away, hide, run, get away from the hunter

Rook: AH! That's why you look so familiar! You are the magicless janitor aren't you? The one who lives at the Ramshackle dorm?

Yuu: what about it?

Rook: you see, there's an event, VDC, that's going to happen in the school, a talent show if you will, and our dorm leader, you might have heard of him, Vil Schoenheit, is in desperate need of a place for our team to train, would you be so kind to let us stay at you dorm? Just dor a couple of weeks! Promise we are very well behaved!

Yuu: look dude, even if I could let you, the dorm is called Ramshackle for a reason, trust me it's easier to gain an injury there than to bound with your friends

Rook: but we could help you! We could do an easy fix in the basic needs and stay, please, just dor some days!

Yuu is tired, they have more tasks to do than to refuse this guy's request to sleep in a old dorm

Yuu: look... I-

The playful nature that surrounded the Hunter minutes before vanished in a blink of an eye, he leans closer and whispers

Rook: I suggest you accept my offer so you can get on Vil's good side before even meeting him trickster, I ask, not demand, a no is welcomed anytime, but for him... trust me, you do not say no to the queen... I could very well say you recovering for our precious Jewell to escape his morning practice so easily, and you don't wanna see him mad do you?

Yuu shuts their mouth, no is not an answer... then again... when do they choices even mattered in this school to beggin with? They smile bitterly looking at their feet hanging by the bench

Yuu: ... alright

Rook: wonderful! Thank you for your support Yuu! See you next week!

.... when had they given their name?

Epel couldn't belive his ears, they were hiding him

The magicless human of NRC was sticking their neck out for him and they didn't even talked

He... couldn't help but fell guilty when using that to his advantage, leaving Yuu behind alone with Rook

He would come back he just... needed a break... they would understand it right? Surely

As for Vil well... he watched it all happen form his windown, Yuu's quietly working, Rook's treat and Epel's retreat, he would be lieing if Yuu didn't intrigued him

Their resilience of the rumours and bulling is something he admired if we're being honest, being an actor came with a price and Vil could recognize a diamond in the rogue like them

He did planed to introduce himself... eventually... if his schedule permitted, there's just something about the magicles handyman that just... calls to him

And when Rook said they accepted their stay at their dorm? well... his genuine smile did put off some students during his classes

---------------------------

No, the beach scene doesn't happen, Epel just gets away and Vil's performance can't occur bc Epel is extremely late, blame RSA studnets

Yuu had to deal with Kalim, Jamil, Rook and now Vil's yandere asses while they stayed and... let's just say... things turned a little bit diferent

Yuu wasn't a manager, nor a member of the dance team,but they did always watched them train, the janitor of NRC saw how strict their routine was and how hard all member were dedicating themselves

So when Epel snapped and ran, they decided to help, as a stand in

And when Vil got away in the middle of Neige's performance? A chill ran down their spine... Kalim's behavior didn't help, him and Jamil tried to get out with Yuu before Vil's overblot ... but Yuu...

Blinding rage boiled in Vil's veins as Rook took the poisoned apple juice, he vold strangle him right now and watch as the life faded from his eyes even before the curse took effect in the hunter... if it wasn't for Neige's presence he wouldn't be conflicted on wich end first

Liquid poured from his eyes, what he could only think be tears... fainted in black and then- a slap in Rook's hand

Yuu: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

The human's eyes burned intensely at the Hunter's, fury, exhaustion, fear and... hurt, all danced in their face, their attention shifting from him and Vil and then Neige, who was still standing there

Yuu pushes Rook aside and goes to Vil but... it has already started

"DON'T LOOK AT ME"

As Kalim entered the scene Yuu pushed Neige to his direction screaming for them to get out

Rook drags Yuu along as Vil overblots

____________

The smoke cleared as the consequences of the fight appeared before their eyes... the headmaster wouldn't be happy... not at all...

Yuu wasn't a manger nor a student, Vil gave them his plus one ticked for them to watch the performance

Malleus wasn't invited

Crowley had to plea so the fairy prince could help

ATENTION EVERYONE!

Asks for the AUs are still closed

This is a very old ask that I was working since my block for the AUs beggin since last 2 years I think

If you send me an ask for any of the AUs I will throw it in the trash

So yeah, if you sent me an ask before I closed them, before the big fucking READ ME in my pined post, so there's a big probability that I will answer them

But if you send the ask recently about the AUs? Sorry, it's going out of the window

#twst bb au #twst bad beggining au

54 notes · View notes