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dazed--xx · 1 year

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SKZ Break up reaction II (Maknae Line)

Part 1

A/N: I’ve honestly been massively depressed so putting this out has been a little helpful to get these angsty feelings out. I hope you guys enjoy and Hyunjin, Jisung, and Jeongin are going to have a part 3. Please like comment and reblog. Requests are open and I also do commissions.

Jisung:

“Is there a reason you’re here again?” You state stoically to Jisung’s back, as he knocked on your door once again. You notice the surprise on his features as he whips around to face you. Your heart shatters at the tear stricken sobbing boy. “Ba—Y/N, I-I’m sorry I’m so sorry please just talk to me please let’s just figure things out” he pleaded as he makes his way over to you. You scoff as you cross your arms over your chest “what’s there to talk about Jisung? You cheated on me there’s not much else to say besides that” you roll your eyes as he drops to his knees wrapping his arms around your waist “it’s been almost a year! I’ve learned my lesson! I’m sorry you can’t understand how sorry I am I fucked up I know I fucked up so bad but if you give me another chance I can be better I only want you I’ve only wanted you all this time, please just talk to me! I won’t ask you to let me explain there’s no good explanation for why I did what I did and I’m fucking disgusted with myself but I love you I only love you and I want to be with you only you” his tears leak through the thin material of your shirt.

Your heart breaks at his pleads, as much as you missed him you knew you’d always question if he was truly where he said he was and if he was with another woman. You weren’t sure what you should do, you missed him so much you practically cried yourself to sleep at his absence every night. The idea of getting back together with him made you feel terrified. What if he cheated again? What if he realized that he wasted his time and this wasn’t what he wanted? Your hands shook unconditionally as the familiar feeling of not being able to breathe grows in your throat. You stared at him, you could tell he was being serious but still you knew the lack of trust you’d have for him would be toxic it would make things unhealthy and you refused to do that to the both of you so with a heavy heart you removed Jisung’s arms from around you and make your way to your porch. “I can’t do this right now Jisung..” you state behind unshed tears. You could hear him getting to his feet and rushing behind you “you can’t talk to me?!” He exclaims. You shake your head in response anger growing in your stomach at his nerve to be upset with you. “NO! I can’t Jisung! I’m sorry but fucking no! Every time I look at you I’m reminded of the fact that we’re no longer together because of what you did! because you couldn’t keep it in your fucking pants! I loved you! I gave you everything and you fucking destroyed it! You ruined everything! I thought I was going to marry you! You fucking destroyed everything! I hate that I still love you, I hate that you fucked up so fucking bad, I hate that you have the fucking gall to come here and destroy me all over again you need to leave! And don’t try to contact me again!” You exclaim as you unlock your door and slam it harshly behind you. You press your back against the door and slowly let the sobs consume you.

Felix:

You sat on your couch staring at the dark tv screen across from you as Felix’s leg shook rapidly in the arm chair. You weren’t sure if it was his close proximity or you being once again confronted with the fact that this was all a bet to Felix but you were feeling exceptionally nauseous. You feel his warm hand grasp your own. You pull your hand away as if his touch had burned you “Don’t touch me!” You snap. You hated your neighbor for being home and begging you to just let Felix in so he’d just shut up. Your eyes never once leaving from the screen infront of you. You don’t see the pain flashing across his features at your reluctance to allow his touch. “I-I’m sorry….” He begins as tears well in his eyes “I-I know I’m an asshole b-but please baby can you please look at me at least?” His voice quakes as his hands once again hold yours as he places himself next to you. You bite the inside of your cheek and turn your head away from him. “Fuck! Please! Don’t do this to me! I’m sorry okay?! I’m so sorry please don’t break up with me! You mean everything to me a-and…” your head whips toward him at the sound of his voice cracking “it was a stupid idiotic bet that I called off I swear! Please stay with me, you’re so amazing and I don’t want to let this go” he confesses.

You stare at the man you’ve come to know, you notice the tears streaming down his angelic freckled face. His heart shaped pout quivering, his grasp on you tightening as you begin to gently pull your hands away. “Felix…please just go” your voice practically inaudible “you can stop pretending..” you state sadly, as your eyes connect with his. His head shakes rapidly “N-no! This is real for me, baby please believe me I love you okay? I love you! I don’t want to break up! I want to be with you please listen okay? Please believe me, you know me!” He cries, “do I though?” You questioned in disbelief. “Yes! You know me you know who I am as a person you know this stupid bet isn’t like me come on please believe I called it off!” He pleaded. Though you could see the sincerity in his eyes you still wondered “When?” You notice the confusion etched on his features “right after our first date! I-I can show you!” He states in a panic as he pulls his phone out quickly typing the pin in and clicking on a chat before scrolling for what seemed like hours. “You don’t need to..” you try to stop him “yes I do! I need you to see please j-just let me find it” he begs as tears build in his eyes once more, his fingers scroll in a panic. You could tell how desperate he was for you to believe him, to know what he felt. Yet, you still couldn’t understand “why’d you even make such a disgusting bet in the first place?” You couldn’t contain the venom in your tone. “Because I’m fucking stupid I don’t know okay but when I realized how fucked up it was I called it off! I wanted to go out with you I didn’t have the balls any other way honestly! I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry—HERE!!” He stated as he shoved his phone in your hands your eyes drift over the screen. You can see the multiple messages that were sent on the course of your first date, gross encouragements and denials of his ability to complete his part of the deal by his friends. You felt like throwing up until you saw the only response from him

Felix: I can’t do it i really fucking like her and I can’t do that to her I’ll pay you guys what I owe but I’m done with this. I feel fucking gross, I kissed her fuck I finally kissed her and I feel gross because of this I can’t do it she’s fucking amazing guys this is so wrong I can’t breathe I want to be with her like really be with her please don’t mention this please I can’t ruin things already please it’s done im done with it don’t talk about it okay?

You feel tears streaming down your face as you stare at him. You notice the longing and pain in his orbs, your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry but please know that this is real for me that you truly do mean fucking everything to me” he states softly as his thumb brushes your tears away. His hand caresses your cheek as he slowly leans forward his lips brushing against your own before he hesitantly presses them against yours. The kiss is slow and unwavering as you press yourself against him. Your fingers finding their way into his hair, you can feel his hands on your waist as he gently shoved your back against the couch cushion. Your lips move in sync as he places himself between your legs. You feel your heart fluttering and pounding against your chest. A small whimper is released from your throat as Felix pulls his lips away from yours and begins trailing a line of kisses to your throat. “Tell me you’re mine baby” his voice is husky and full of lust. You press your lips against his once more “all yours”

Seungmin:

You sat on your couch scrolling on your phone as you ignored the movie you had put on previously. A small chuckle is released from your lips as you scroll through TikTok. A message popping up in your notifications, your heart quivers as you read Seungmins name. ‘Can we talk?’ A scoff is released from your chest. What was there to talk about? He didn’t feel the same way, you didn’t need him to explain anything you understood where he stood and you accepted it. But, that did not mean you were ready to be friends or accept that your relationship had failed before it had gotten a chance to truly blossom. You didn’t know what to do, it had been over three months since you had ended whatever you had with him and yet you still got messages and calls daily almost 3x as much as you did when you were ‘together’. Whilst you still never read let alone responded to these messages you still found yourself stagnant in the moving on process. You missed his presence, you weren’t sure what you should do; as much as you wanted to be with him. You did not like the nature of your relationship and the fact that he obviously wasn’t attracted to you in anyway. You’re pulled out of your thoughts by a series of rapid knocks, your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion as you make your way to the door pulling it open forcefully. Your eyes growing wide as you see a pacing Seungmin on your porch.

“Seung—wait before you say anything!” He interjects as he shoves his way into your small dorm.“I know I ruined things between us, a-and I-I…i really like you and I know what you believe but you have to know that. I’m so mad at you, how could you?! How could you break my heart like that!?” His voice is unsure, you noticed his disheveled appearance, you watch as he continues his pacing “I know I’m an idiot b-but I told you everyday that I liked you that I saw us hanging out as dates a-and you just break up with me out of nowhere?! I want you I want to be with you and you’ve ignored me for the past three months. Fuck Y/N how could you not respond to me? Did you move on that quickly? You couldn’t have right?”you notice the tears welling up in his eyes as his pacing stopped, his hands wrapping themselves around your arms as he stared into your eyes “I-I thought you loved me too I-I thought we had something and you just break up with me?! Was there someone else? Was I not enough? You said you didn’t think I was attracted to you a-and I am!” You stood frozen in place as his rant continued, not knowing what to say at his sudden appearance and confession. “I’m so attracted to you and I need you to believe that I want to be with you! You asked me what we did that was couple stuff and you know what you were right! I didn’t treat you like my girlfriend and for that I’m sorry but this time I’m not going to make the same mistakes. You’re mine! I’m making it very clear right now! You’re my girlfriend! We’re not breaking up! And you’re a terrible girlfriend for not answering me for months! I’m not letting you go before I get to fully have you! And I know you’re not property but your heart belongs to me and it’s staying with me…” he trails as he desperately pressed your lips together, your eyes widen as you stand frozen in shock. You feel yourself relax as you return the kiss, his tongue brushes against your bottom lip begging for entrance as his arms wrap firmly around your waist. Your arms finding themselves wrapped around his neck. You whine as he pulls away, your lips chasing his as he chuckles “be mine again baby?” A blush creeps upon your cheeks at the use of the pet name as you nod hiding your face in his neck.

Jeongin:

*ping*

Your phone continuously called. You sat on your bed staring at the object for what felt like eternity. The large red X and do not answer confirm your suspicions. You couldn’t understand why he decided to contact you this morning. He didn’t bother last night when you had broken up with him, he didn’t come looking for you nor did he attempt to call you or text in anyway last night. Letting your curiosity get to you, you grab your phone and quickly open his messages.

From: ❌do not answer ❌

Tell me this is a joke

Tell me we didn’t break up

Fuck tell me your still mine and you love me tell me I didn’t lose you last night and that nayeon is lying.

You sit in shock at his messages you notice the three dots appearing on your screen.

From: ❌do not answer❌

Please??

Please answer I’m sorry whatever I did I’m sorry I love you

I love you

I don’t want to break up I don’t want to be without you I’m stupid I’m so fucking stupid but I need to be with you I need to fix things please respond, please?

I don’t know what to do I know you’re reading this please tell me what I did, please I need to know how badly I fucked this up I don’t want to fuck this up I want to be with you please tell me how I can fix it I hated waking up without your messages. I hated that I had no missed calls from you. I love you so fucking much I can’t do this.

A call comes through from him, you weren’t sure what to do. He was such an asshole last night and for so long before that, this came out of nowhere. You watch as the call goes unanswered.

From: ❌do not answer❌

Please please please

I’m sorry

Im sorry

I don’t know what else to say I’m so fucking sorry

I’ll treat you better, I can be better for you I’m sorry please don’t leave me

Please? The last thing I wanted yesterday was to break up, it was our anniversary and I’m so fucking sorry I forgot. I’m so sorry I was an ass I’m so fucking sorry that you felt like this is what you needed to do but it’s not. It’s really not. I understand now I do I get it I don’t want to have to deal with this pain that I caused to both of us I want to fix it I want to fix things and be with you be better to you I’ll do anything

Another call comes through your phone, you bite your bottom lip to hold yourself off from answering

From: ❌do not answer❌

Answer my calls I’m sorry

Please I just need to hear your voice, I can’t calm down I’m literally fucking crying right now I can’t breath without you

I was so fucking drunk I’m sorry baby please I don’t want to be broken up I don’t want to be away from you I love you

I love you please remember that

You leave his messages on read as you silently cry to yourself. You couldn’t understand why was he acting like it came out of nowhere? He hadn’t been the nicest boyfriend for a long time and now he’s acting like he does truly want to be with you. How could he love you when he was so cruel? You didn’t want to break up either but you couldn’t be with someone that could treat you like that and talk to you like you were beneath them. As much as it hurt, you click on his contact scroll to the bottom and block his number.

#stray kids angst #skz angst #stray kids break up reaction #stray kids makeup reaction #jisung angst #lee felix angst #seungmin angst #jeongin angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids reactions #stray kids maknae line angst #stray kids maknae line fluff

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doodle-boy · 1 year

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Designing a cute little Chibi Robo and Telly Vision Sticker

This will also be a tattoo, a sticker themed tattoo! Chibi Robo is one of my favorite games in the world. I’ll put a cut in this so I can fully rant about my love for this game. But I am truly excited to get this one done. This will be my third tattoo I’ll have done and when I do get it I’ll show you all (and i’ll show my other two as well) So look forward to that!

Ok ranting time! I’m not normally good at games, I have made a few comics about it, I’m not even really exaggerating. I’m just like that, but it’s fine and I still enjoy gaming when I have the time and energy for it. But Chibi Robo was one of the few games that I am able to play easily. Probably because I invested so many hours into it as a kid. Or maybe because it was a Nintendo so it was child friendly and therefore Doodle friendly lol. It’s also the only game I’ve ever gone full completionist on. I’ve done every story line fully. I’ve collected everything in it, I got all the stickers, I found that weird little black white monkey-bear thing. The one with the red heart on it’s chest, I forgot this name. Seen all the receipts, I’ve collected all the scraps of fabric and then save and loaded my file so I can see all the pajamas Mrs. Sanderson can make! I’m pretty sure I’ve collected everything. I also love all the characters in the game. All of them are so goofy and flawed, but I love them so much. I won’t get into every single one of them. (maybe in the future I will if I ever feel like it lol) But I gotta high light at least one of them. Drake Redcrest being that one because he is #1 in my heart. My GOD is he funny. He has a fully human sized ego inside of a heroically small action figure frame. Also he is an absolute contradiction too what his TV persona is supposed to be. The whole thing about the TV character is he is supposed to be a hero who questions what is Good and what is Bad. His theme song even says, and I quote, “Justice is what he claims to fight for. But it’s a mystery, what does this justice mean? He hasn’t got a clue.” But in the game he actively does not question anything. He runs on full stereotype. He is a handsome hero and he tries to court a pretty princess toy, not cause he loves her but because that is what heroes do. He’s upset when he is easily defeated by a rampaging teddy bear because he believes as a hero he should’ve defeated it. When the aliens arrive (yeah they're are aliens in this game, it is a strange game, I love it so much) and they have a terrible fever. Drake shows up and not understanding the aliens or the situation is like “Halt alien scum! I the hero will defeat you!” and he blasts them with a frost attack. Ironically helping them out and saving the day in a completely different way. He is a big meat head. But is he a mean guy? Absolutely not. He is very kind to chibi robo when he first arrives. Appoints Chibi Robo as the Universe’s 99th Space ranger and gives you a little uniform. You are free to patrol with him anytime you want and he is full of gusto. In short this man is a himbo because he has good intentions always even if he is oblivious. Honestly I could go on forever about this game and why I love it so much. It is a strange game. It doesn't really fit into a genre cleanly It's part-platformer, part-adventure, part-amiable helper game, part shooter, etc. It’s crazy. The humor is weird but I both laughed at the jokes as a child who didn’t fully understand and I still laugh at the jokes now that I fully understand. The art style is very geometric and stylized. But I think that works in it’s favor because it is still enjoyable to look at, even now. It’s so colorful. The music slaps too. Drake Redcrest theme, the little shop theme, even the damn game opening theme. It’s so goofy and charming, and the Sound Design is unique and very musical, Chibi robos footsteps are like little music notes and they change depending on what he is walking on. The carpet, the tile floor the wood, it’s all got it’s own little sound. And the toothbrush theme OH GOD I LOVE that toothbrush song. When Chibi Robo cleans dirt off the floor he uses a little toothbrush to clean because he is a little guy. and that song is so soothing. I will go out of my way to clean dirt just to hear the song. Just a masterpiece. OK I willy finally stop ranting about this game before it gets too much longer. I just love this game to death though. Chibi Robo has a very special place in my heart.

#chibi robo #telly vision #drake redcrest #chibi robo plug into adventure #info dumping #passionate ranting #video games #game cube #sticker design #tattoos #tattoo design #digital art #my art #DoodleBoy

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imagine-that-100 · 11 months

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CSD is such a masterpiece!! I love it sm, would you and @alovesreading be able to give us a sneak peak for the next part? Totally okay if you can’t! <3

Awwhhhh! So so so glad you're enjoying Chicken Shop Date! We are honestly having such a good time writing it, we are obsessed with Baby and Matty. Of course you can have a sneak peak of Part 7! We're giving you a longer sneak peak because we need to take a bit more time to write part 8 (We always wanna be one chapter ahead and we only just finished part 7) Buttttt you can't be too upset at us because Part 7 is 36k long and it's got smuttttt lollllll. Soooo, heres your 1.7k of a sneak peak into Chapter 7. We hope you enjoyyyyyy x

“Hey Y/N/N.”

You hum at first but it turns into a, “Yeah?” and you open your eyes slowly with a blissed look on your face as you turn to look at her.

At first you’re thankful she woke you again because it’s only early still, you definitely needed to not fall asleep just yet. But when you see your best friend turn to face you too, tucking her hand under her cheek to get comfortable over the plush pillows on her bed, you realise she wants to chat.

Amelia sighs softly and her face gets serious, and if that wasn’t enough to scare you a bit, it’s the way her tone changes as she starts saying, “I know you don’t want to hear it and I don’t mean it in the way it’s going to sound but if I don’t say it and you get hurt, I won’t forgive myself.”

Instantly, all the joy in your system disappears, dread seeping in for whatever it is she’s about to say. There’s nothing you’re actually expecting but the weight at the pit of your stomach is getting heavier the more time she takes to continue, “What is it Ames?”

“I know you’re having a lot of fun with Matty and I'm really happy for you.” You almost tune out at the mention of his name, but seeing how serious she is you know it’s another one of those times you need to listen to her, “I truly, honestly am.” She reassures with a slight raise of her eyebrows and a nod as if to emphasise her point.

Yet you’re left waiting for the inevitable but, and sure enough, it comes after a fair few seconds, “But I just want you to be careful… I don’t want you to get feelings, or more feelings, when it could just end up being a friends with benefits thing.”

You’re truly at a loss for words as the wheel inside your brain starts to spin and the more seconds pass, the faster it spins.

Amelia has been your best friend for years and whilst she’s had your back unconditionally for what seems like forever now, she’s also always been honest with you. Whether it was you making a stupid mistake that you were too stubborn to admit fault to, an outfit that just didn’t look good, pushing you to say sorry when you had to or you pining over someone who didn’t deserve you at all. She’s always been the one to say it like it was and kindly enough to have you snap out of so many trances.

Never have you ever gotten angry at her, because you’ve learned that she always wants the best for you and even when the truth hurts, at the end of the day you realised she was right and she was watching out for you.

So the first thing you feel deep in your chest isn’t anger, it’s just that pinch of hurt when you know someone says what you don’t want to hear but it’s not something that’s necessarily wrong. But that doesn’t make it any less painful to hear.

“I'm not saying stop,” She continues in slight panic at the change in your facial expression, “I can see how happy he makes you and how happy you seem to make him. And I don’t think he would have had you around for a full week if he was just going to fuck and dump you, but maybe when you go back you could get some clarity on it? Ask him about it maybe? Because the last thing I want is for him to hurt you.”

Her suggestions are thrown in the air as a way to alleviate the growing tension around you now, hanging over you like a dark cloud that tells you it’s about to storm. But even seeing her soft awkward grin as she finishes her thoughts, you can’t seem to properly muster any logical sentences.

Your words get tangled on the tip of your tongue and you stutter for a few seconds before you let out a loud sigh and chuckle meekly, slightly shaking your head in disbelief, “Thanks Ames.”

Amelia winces at your response and the words leave her before you can continue saying anything else, “I don’t want you to hate me for saying it, Y/N/N.”

You know she doesn’t mean it like that so you quickly reassure her that your reaction doesn’t mean that you hate her for saying it, “I don’t. I-,”

Inhaling deeply through your nose before you can give her a deeper insight into what’s been going on between the singer and you. “He’s told me things that I don’t think you’d tell a fuck buddy. Things about his past that he got upset about. I don’t think you cry to your fuck buddies Ames.”

It’s not that you mind her being worried about you, but it wasn’t as if Matty is all you’ve been going on about today. It wasn’t like your world has just stopped and it now solely focuses on him, because it really doesn’t. You’ve maybe mentioned the singer a handful of times today, most of the time telling her that he said hello to her or that he hoped that the both of you were having a nice time.

Nodding slowly, she takes in what you're saying but she recoils into herself a bit when you continue to say, “And I'm not stupid, I'm not getting my hopes up for anything more just yet, I just want to enjoy what it is for now.”

Because Amelia of all people knows that you haven't had anything like this in a long time. You’ve been on your own for probably too long and you feel like some of the joy from the past week has just been invalidated when you weren’t even trying to make it into something it wasn’t.

“I understand. But it’s worth having the conversation.” Amelia explains herself again and you nod taking in every word she says, “I don’t want you to be a placeholder for him. I don’t want you to be someone who’s willing to fuck him and then he fucks you off after the London dates on his tour.”

That has you sighing again, that last half feeling like a gut punch. But you somehow manage to nod, “I know, and I do mean the thank you I said, but I don’t wanna be thinking about that whilst we’re out here okay?”

You were just having such a lovely moment of peace and appreciation for everything turning out better than you could’ve ever expected and now all you can taste is bitterness coating the back of your throat. “It’s not really something you can ask over the phone. And I want this to be a good experience. I don’t wanna be worrying about Matty whilst I’m out here.”

You mean that and even though you have been texting him here and there throughout the day, you’ve made sure to be mindful and enjoy every second you can with your best friend in this amazing opportunity you’ve got.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t really know when to talk to you about it.” Her eyes show you just how much she didn’t mean to upset you, and they soften when she looks at you still sporting a blank face.

And despite knowing that, it unfortunately doesn’t make that sinking feeling in your chest go away. You feel like the mere mention of it has cracked open a can of worms that can’t be sealed again. The seeds of doubt that you’ve been ignoring to spare yourself the worry are now fixed and prominent. It all feels a little too much when you just wanted to have some fun with a man you’ve always found horrendously attractive.

“I’m only a week into it all Ames.” You remind her and then you also refresh her memories of her and a certain rapper by saying, “I at least gave you a good few weeks with Harry before I told you to watch out.”

She nods remembering then how that had gone, “And whilst I love you for that, I know that you’ve liked Matty for a lot longer than I liked him. A year to a decade… I just don’t want him to hurt you or ruin his music for you.”

She’s so serious it half makes you want to laugh, your best friend regarding the value of the band’s music as much as your heart being mistreated is the tiniest bit amusing to you.

“It won’t. Nothing could ruin his music for me. Not even him.” You promise, staring right into her eyes and then you plead, “I understand but for now I just want it out of my mind please. I appreciate you but please don’t bring this back up whilst we’re here. I want your support back.”

Reaching out for her hand, she meets you in the middle intertwining your fingers and then giving you a firm squeeze. A silent love you, one that you reciprocate by squeezing her hand back.

“Okay. You’ve got it. I am really really happy you’re happy, you know?” Her lips curl up in a cute shy smile, seeing as the matter is still a bit tender but trying to help you relax again.

Not that you can find it in yourself to do it after that but you try to match her smile, failing apparently because you see Amelia’s face falling as she watches you say, “I know.”

So Amelia is soon shuffling closer to you, cradling your head with her hand so you can cuddle against her chest. She leaves a kiss atop of your head and you hum softly as a thank you, which you truly mean - she’s the one person you know you wouldn’t be able to live without and her opinions are not ones you wave off or take lightly.

However, it feels like the night just turned sour, because 5 minutes ago if your best friend cuddled you like she is doing now, you would be entirely content with it. But now, all you want to do is disappear off into your own room and release the sob that’s causing the ball in your throat.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: To the person who wanted angst, this chapter is for you xoxox

#csd sneak peak #csd part 7

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starlyte-writes · 2 years

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Sorry I know it’s been literal months but Hitting On 16 is still rotting away in my head-

Like it was SO good you guys I’m dying because we all took it as c!Wilbur’s arc right? And it was, BUT, it was also c!Ranboo’s arc. They both grew in such a dramatic healthy way from their friendship with the burger van and I can’t stop THINKING ABOUT IT!

By becoming friends with c!Ranboo, c!Wilbur learned to open up and trust somebody with blind faith and nothing more. Sure, at the beginning, he tested him to see how quickly he’d chicken out and abandon c!Wilbur, but pretty soon after he realized that wasn’t necessary and it was just c!Wilbur and c!Ranboo causing mischief to piss off c!Quackity.

One of my favorite things about c!Wilbur is how he acts the most like a friend when he’s not thinking about it. Giving c!Ranboo sweet nicknames, complimenting him, hyping him up, cheering him on, all these small things he doesn’t even think about because it’s just subconscious love for his friend. He becomes healthier with his bond with c!Ranboo and can actually chat and hang out without the constant fear of “being perceived as evil” taunting his mind.

And then there’s change on c!Ranboo’s end as well!! If you actually really truly think about it, being on c!Wilbur’s “side” of the burger arc was the first time he ever chose a side. Before then, c!Ranboo would do anything he could to help out all parties, even if they directly contrasted each other. He didn’t want to make anyone upset and would therefore make everyone upset by not being loyal to one specific group. Even with the cookie outpost, while he was primarily in c!Tubbo’s favor, he still tried to negotiate and more importantly get along with c!Quackity, which to his sadness didn’t work out.

But then in comes c!Wilbur, who is passionate and impulsive and paranoid and thinks nobody would ever willingly choose to stand by his side. And c!Ranboo wants to give him a chance, to prove that that thinking is wrong. And the only way to do that is to directly oppose c!Quackity.

So he does. c!Ranboo, no matter how risky or sketchy a plan c!Wilbur creates, always follows through. Even when it’s directly going against his good morals (like vandalizing the restaurant) or the people he cares about (like his own fucking husband!) And this isn’t because c!Wilbur manipulates him into following his every command, it’s because he cares about c!Wilbur!

While nervous at first, throughout their time together c!Ranboo genuinely begins to enjoy his company and following his crazy ideas. He goes along with him because he wants to keep an eye on his friend, or keep him happy, anything to prove to c!Wilbur that “I am hanging out with you because I want to, exactly what you thought no one could do.”

It’s through his friendship with c!Wilbur that c!Ranboo learns the values of dedicating to a specific side. Sure, it creates conflicts that are messy and not fun, but it’s worth it to fight for something you care about, which is exactly what he tells c!Tubbo!

“For God’s sake, just give him a chance! I know that I haven’t always made the best decisions with who I trust but this time I swear to you that things may not always be as bad as you think! I mean, people change, people get better and if you never give them a chance to prove it you’ll be stuck hating everyone that has ever wronged you and you won’t have anyone left...”

He is directly opposing his husband to stand for what he believes in, which is c!Wilbur being a better person. And while I am convinced there is a little self-projecting going on in here that might’ve helped motivate him, it is in part because he believes in c!Wilbur.

The saddest part is that their own personal flaws outpower their friendship, which leads to their inevitable downfall. c!Ranboo is never able to outright express his feelings to another person despite them all expressing their feelings towards him, leading to him killing himself to make a point thinking that would hit c!Wilbur more clearly than just directly talking to him.

Then on c!Wilbur’s end, not having c!Ranboo clarify and reassure him that he did enjoy being friends with him, his self-hatred wins out and he convinces himself that c!Ranboo never wanted anything to do with him. That he was spending time with c!Wilbur against his own free will.

They both grew thanks to their friendship, but it wasn’t enough to fight against all of the other problems they both still need to work on. I just- THIS man- ARE YOU HEARING ME? HITTING ON 16 WAS THEIR STORY AGH!

#star's analysis #dream smp #hitting on 16 #wilbur soot #ranboo #c!wilbur #c!ranboo #c!burger boys #ho16 #dsmp lore #tw caps #tw cursing #tw suicide mention #obviously there was a lot of growing for c!quackity c!tubbo and c!tommy as well #but the biggest focus of this story was their friendship and how they changed with it #neither of them had ever dedicated to friendship like that #for c!wilbur you could say he has with c!tommy but that relationship is a lot more complex and different than his with c!ranboo #they both have to evolve and get accustomed to changing for the better to be a better friend #unfortunately too many other factors got in the way to allow them to finish growing #i seriously need c!ranboo to get revived and just slap c!wil in the face and go #'HEY'#'I LIKED BEING YOUR FRIEND'#'STOP THINKING I DIDN'T'#i care very deeply for burger boys if you haven't already guessed #long post #long tags #tw italics #man i missed analysis i sound fucking bonkers it's great #star rants

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alatusxiaoo · 2 years

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Hiii zalyy. Uhh i just saw your recent post and i wanted to say that youre under no obligation to write if you're not feeling it or just don't want to anymore. You already know this but I just wanted to put it out there because forcing yourself to pump out works is exhausting and something i hope you never have to do.

I also want to add that it's okay if you don't post often. Like I think that was implied but like I hope you don't feel sad for not being able to post your ideas and works. You have your own life outside of tumblr and being here is something you do out of your own volition, not a responsibility. Uhhh basically wanna say i hope that you don't feel sad or stressed about the the time you take between posting fics!

That said, i want you to know that i truly enjoy your writing. You're on of the first blogs i followed once i began reading genshin x readers and you've played a huge part in me beginning to play genshin. (I hope this doesnt sound like a guilttrip :< i just wanna say that you and your writing are lovely)

Thanks for reading until the end. I truly hope you're nothing but happy with the choices you make :D

i saw this a few days ago along with a similar ask, so im really sorry it took a while to respond…but can i just say i feel so touched that you actually wrote a whole ass essay to me 😭😭 like wow. you certainly didn’t have to go this far because i am literally NOT worth it, but thank you so much for this anyway ;;

its weird how i always initially view writing as a hobby, and then at some point suddenly look at it only to feel like i’m being obligated to do it,, or at least satisfy people for the sake of it. i mean, i like writing, i like making people happy, i have a shit ton of amazing drafts left without completion, but at some point it does get taxing,,, and at the same time the urge to write starts to get sort of inconsistent. i like it but i hate it 😭 and probably the weirdest thing about it

that said, reading stuff like this actually motivates me to write some stuff again — not because i feel guilt tripped into staying — but because things like this make it feel worth writing, knowing that someone out there is still willing to read and interact with any of my works. and it’s upsetting to see how some passionate and talented people on tumblr decided to quit or put a pause on writing, because they felt like they gave a lot of effort producing all these amazing fics for nothing.

i definitely have the better hang of juggling real life and writing this time, and i’m hoping that during this (potentially) last month, i won’t feel too stressed or burned out by it like i did before.

anyways idk why this got so long and sidetracked 😭 and i still have no idea why i’m kinda attached to writing. shoving that shit aside, i’m really flattered that i’ve become a part of your genshin playing journey :’) and i’d love to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of my writing one too <3

#inbox !!#anons !!#wHeW that was long #and personal #EW god who am i to do that #sorry for that nonnie 😭 have a great day/night!! <3

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tithonusramble · 8 months

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Reflection

So, here I am. Alone once more. This is of my own making, I know that, but it still doesn’t feel good. We all crave companionship. Being alone isn’t part of being human. There is a driving need to be loved and accepted—to find people that make you feel like you belong. Because the world is a terrifying awful place but finding people who make that a little better, helps.

I know that I’ve made mistakes. One of my main issues is with pushing people away when I think they need space but in actuality they just need time. I tend to learn from my mistakes but I can get carried away and forget. I am also human, which I really love to forget sometimes. We all make mistakes and that’s okay but you had to be able to work through and change for next time.

I didn’t want to make anyone upset or mad with me. Truly, it is the worst feeling. My need to belong (to someone) or to be with someone (in a romantic and meaningful way) sometimes overshadows my friends who I already love and adore. I get swept up in needing to be wanted.

I struggle with feeling lonely. I don’t know if it’s depression or just who I am but it’s been this way for a while. Friends can fill that for a while but I can still feel lonely in a crowded room. Everyone could be laughing and joking around, having the best time, but inside I’m numb, apathetic and begging to know that I am involved—that I am appreciated—but instead I feel broken.

I have a different way with my emotions and feeling than others. I process things in a way that is normal to me but I learn that it’s not. It’s a learning curve that I can never truly get over. How can I? How can I convey how I am feeling and thinking and seeing in a way that can accurately translate to another person? It can appear sometimes that I don’t think about consequences or how others might feel. But that is insulting to think of me. In my mind, I am constantly looking at who is around me and asking what they would want—what they are thinking. I know I can get caught up in my own head but I really do want others to be happy around me. Most of the time I’m so concerned with other’s happiness that I forget my own.

I miss the feeling of being happy the majority of the time. I can’t remember when I wasn’t overthinking every detail of everything. My brain is loud. Analyzing and charting every action I make and how it will effect others around me. The problem becomes when I do something to treat myself. When I finally can do something to shut off my brain function, to be free for just a moment. I decide that I can enjoy myself and stop thinking, but that’s when the people around me need me most. I let them down in just a short period of time. Nothing hurts me more.

I feel like I’m screaming. I’m stuck inside my head and screaming for someone, anyone, to understand what’s happening. I’m balling my eyes out. Wailing and howling, clawing my eyes and ripping out my hair in frustration. There’s a bubble of ruthless emotion in constant boil just below the surface but it can never reach the top. I won’t let it. I wonder who that person is. Who I am trapping below the surface. Why do I hate them so much? Do they deserve to be hidden? At any moment I feel the dam could burst and I would loose everything that I have. Bridges crumble and fall and I would be in the rubble, fulling deserving of this.

I am my own worst enemy. I hide myself and pick and choose what people want to see, it makes friends, it builds relationships…it keeps me lonely. At this point, I can’t tell what’s actually me and what is a facade I wear.

I want to cry.

#ramblings #journal #kinda depressing #mental health #mental illness #thank you #my diary #diary #journalling #my thoughts #my feelings

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keefwho · 10 months

Text

July 13 - 2023 Thursday

7:17 AM

Really hating myself right now. I’m not appreciating the way I keep using my problems and emotions to manipulate others into showing me sympathy under the guise of “wanting to be cared about.” I don’t want to close myself off but the only good solution I can see is to keep things to myself more. It feels like the only way to keep any friendship in tact.

And so what if I feel alone. So what if I stop hoping for connection with others. Its my fault I feel this way despite supposedly having people that care about me. It’s my fault I don’t feel anything. I shouldn’t be taking it out on anyone but myself. Deep down I still feel like someone that doesn’t deserve compassion anyways so why am I still so obsessed with chasing it? It’s selfish of me until I can truly appreciate it.

I still feel like a burden to all so I don’t feel right initiating contact, as much as I want to. I’m afraid to be like “Hey wanna hang out? :)” only for them to say yes just to placate me and will be relieved when they are rid of me. Maybe it’s selfish of me to think that I have that much gravity over their feelings. But I don’t feel welcome anywhere.

8:02 AM

If no one else cares about my problems then maybe I’m not meant to either. Maybe things are only issues when I treat them like one.

8:43 AM

I hope I feel better for my party tomorrow. Chances are I won’t, but I’ll be holding it either way. Maybe it’ll cheer up.

I feel so stupid thinking I could be cared about in the way that I want.

9:44 AM

What I’m currently going through is coping with the loss of something I never had to begin with. I’ve lived such a giant fantasy for so long.

3:43 PM

I’m afraid to attach to anyone. Even just as friends. I always end up expecting from them and pushing them away when they don’t deliver. It’s a me problem, I know that. I don’t know if I expect too much or haven’t found the right people. I’m banking on my expectations being too high. Or maybe the kind of comradery I’m after really isn’t common.

Deep down I feel it’s all my problem. I’m the one thats not right and I’m the one messing up everything. I mean that. I think maybe I don’t know how to handle relationships correctly on some fundamental level. Maybe that comes from fear or trust issues.

5:55 PM

Here I go succumbing to my thoughts again. I just don’t have a good enough opinion of myself to do anything. I can’t talk to anyone because I’m afraid they will lie about be okay with me around or doing something with them. I cannot believe anyone wants me. On top of it all my stomach has not been cooperating because of how upset and stressed I’ve been about everything. I’m in such despair and it’s only been getting worse as time goes on.

Its no wonder I have trouble getting people to like me, I got nothing going for me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know whats meaningful to me beyond maybe 2 things. I’m not my own person so I have nothing to bounce back with. I’m not interesting at all. I have to work on being a person worth liking.

6:21 PM

Maybe no matter how I feel, I have to keep giving to people I love. Maybe it’ll click eventually that I’m loved back.

Im always so deep in my own head. I can’t see things for what they really are.

10:53 PM

I’m currently out of my own head because of the words and reassurance of my friend Daisy. More or less I was able to snap out of some of the things I was thinking about, the big problem being the overthinking of everything. Also with my true desires, they can be as simple as wanting what I want. I’m trying not to overthink about my recovery though, I’d rather just enjoy it.

I also have the question of writing that daily recap which feels boring but even if I don’t want to do it, I know future me will thank me for taking the time to document my life briefly. Although I did barely anything of note today. I stuck to my schedule fairly well with the exception of not doing my whole treadmill workout because I just didn’t have the mental or physical strength. This afternoon and evening was a bust. I tried getting in VR for a little but my stomach has been upset due to stress and I wasn’t feeling like I could genuinely talk to anyone so I gave up. The rest of the evening was spent watching MoonMoon play House Flipper which was a pretty chill time. Then I had that much needed chat with Daisy.

I’m realizing now that obsessive thinking is one of those control strategies. In small doses, rationalizing is good but I’ve been doing it absolutely non stop. Thinking about my mental pathways and the effect everything has on me all the time is clearly not working, it just consumes energy and stresses me out even more. I think it wise to step back a little bit and try to take it easy.

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kawiiwababe · 2 years

Text

I am so proud of my friend. She’s moving on to bigger and better things. It’s about damn time too because she deserves it. She’s been working so hard to get stronger. There definitely was some times where she was going to give up. This last time she really wanted to give up and not even attend the event she did though in the end she got up and went. She just took this event, as if it was just another work out. She crushed it, she crushed it so much that she got an offer. I am so proud of her, and so excited for what’s to come for her. A part of me a sad; sad that I won’t be seeing her around work, and to be quite honest, she was the only thing I looked forward to. Although we barely work together, it was the hopes that through what we go through on a daily basis with our job I have someone to talk to. No knowing that she’s going to be leaving me for bigger and better things brings up so many different emotions for me. Now when I say that I’m sad, i’m not sad because she got the job. I’m sad because I’m still in the same spot. I’m sad because I still don’t know what I wanna do and it weighs on me heavily. I have people telling me that I should be a nurse, but I don’t want to be her nurse. I respect every nurse that I know and everyone I don’t know because I know what they go through on a day-to-day and especially with Covid being a thing it’s especially hard for them. For any healthcare worker for that matter. The overworked feeling that we feel in the under appreciation for it Starts to take a toll. I know that I want to stay in healthcare because ever since I was a kid I’ve always wanted to help people. My only wish for this world is that so many more people feel the way that I feel in wanting to give it back and wanting to help people in anyway they see fit , but I’m so torn right now because I am upset and I’m sad what a day that I should be happy. I’m also upset because I want to just know where I’m going and be happy with it. I want to make myself proud like my friend feels today . I’m so fucking indecisive. I want to do something that I actually somewhat enjoy. Something that brings me joyy. In inner happiness. How can I know if this path could’ve brought me that joy I don’t, but it was worth trying. And I’m so scared that I’m gonna be stuck in this internal right that I mean the cycle that continues to keep coming on and on. I will never be good enough. I will never make me so proud. I know it’s as easy as just getting up and going to do it, but if I tell you that my inner demons are so much stronger in my belief in myself. And the one thing that I want to do is to be able to vent this to my girlfriend. I know she won’t see the sensitive side of it and understand where I’m coming from and tell me at least something that I just wanna hear just for right now. I know she tells the truth and she doesn’t sugarcoat shit, but sometimes I just need someone to hear me out to feel like they’re in my corner, and they understand That I’m struggling. I honestly just wanna know what would be truly happy and just go for it. I know so many people in my life that know what they want and just go for it and then there’s me. Who am I if I don’t know what makes me happy ? Who am I if I don’t know what I wanna do in life. I’m tired of hearing the bullshit that it eventually comes to me and I’ll fall into it. Well, I’m not one of those people that like to sit in fall into something I’d like to know, I like to be working towards it , I wanna prove to myself that I am enough million more than who I am right now. J, I’m so proud of you and I hope that you kick ass at Academy and you show them why they picked you. She’s gonna do great things girl I’m gonna miss you . I know we should be doing this together like we said we would but I failed and I did what I always do and gave up. But make us both proud. I’m honored to call you my friend and I’m so happy for you. You’re going to kill it , the fire service is lucky to have you!

#Torn #indecisive #exercise #honesty

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heejojo · 3 years

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enhypen when their s/o takes off their promise ring after a fight

a/n: to the anon that requested this, i hope you're having a swell day and enjoy it. my tummy hurt so it was a bit difficult to continue but i hope you like it. feel free to tell me what you think

find part one here!

members: jay, jake and sunghoon

Jay

You love receiving gifts, who doesn’t? But you draw a line when your loved ones use gifts as a replacement for their quality time and affection. It hurts your feelings and makes you feel like you’re easily satisfied by materialistic things. A locket with his initials is nice and reminds you that he’s still with you or a part of you. It’s helpful in situations where he’s not with you.

However that feeling of staying close with him and being able to touch him. Run your hands through his hair or trace the freckles on his face that no one else can see but you. Only you can see him when he wakes up and when he’s going to bed. The times where you can easily stay relishing in the company of each other.

This is exactly what you’re trying to explain to Jay. “It’s not that I don’t love you, we both know very well I do. I just want to be here rather than sending gifts all the time,” you demonstrate, trying to get your point across but the look on Jay’s face tells you he doesn’t think the same.

“I just feel you’re being ungrateful. I am busy so giving you gifts is my way of apologizing for not being here,” he says and you understand him.

“I’m not saying I don’t like the gifts or I’m not thankful for them but I want you to be here. Even though you’re busy with work, a text would suffice. Just a simple ‘how are you doing?’ would really go a long way”

“Gosh, have you always been like this?” he scoffs and looks at you. The look in his eyes is not the Jay you know and are safe with. It looks like someone whose words has the ability to tear your esteem down.

“Like what?” you ask, internally dreading the response he would give.

“So clingy,” he begins and you swear you don’t breathe for a while when he says that. Has he always thought this way of you? How long has he seen you like this?

“Jay… you know I don’t like being called that,”

“Well sucks to be you, doesn’t it? You always want everything to go your way. The others were never like this” he says and at this statement, you get even more upset. He quickly collects himself and you can see the look of panic in his eyes when he says that. Trying to redeem himself; he reaches his arm out to you but you reject it and move back, stumbling slightly in the process. “Y/N, baby, I didn’t mean that” he starts but you raise your hand as a signal for him to stop.

“Just please, leave me alone. Go back to the others that you miss so much. While you’re at it, give them the promise ring that clearly now doesn’t mean anything to you. I’m hailing a taxi, goodbye” you announce and prepare to leave but Jay stops you.

“Please, stay the night. It’s too dark outside. I won’t do or say anything to you I swear. I just hate the thought that something might happen to you because I was a fool and let you leave when it was dark”

“I’m glad we both agree on something, then” you announce and retire to the room you both share. It should be common knowledge to Jay now that he shouldn’t overstep his boundaries and do all those cuddling things especially after the statement he made.

Jay doesn’t come to bed until much later and frankly, you don’t care. Your mind keeps replaying the statement he said. Your heart is telling you to forgive him because he looked remorseful after he did something wrong but your mind is living in the fear that he could say something like that again. Something that can hurt even more.

Jay comes in much later and falls in the space next to you. At his action, you shift further away from him and hear him sigh deeply. “Y/N, I’ve been thinking. You don’t have to respond but I am truly sorry for the things that I said. I didn’t mean them and I realize I’ve been selfish all this time. You’re always more than willing to help me and take what I say into consideration but I now understand that I rarely do the same. You might not forgive me, heck I don’t even forgive myself. But please do know that I am truly sorry for what I did”

You turn to face him after his apology and sit up earning a reaction of him doing the same. “Park Jongseong, you twat. Do this again and I’ll really leave for real”

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

“I’ve heard, now come here and hug me”

Jake

“Do you even trust me at all? Because it doesn’t even look like you trust me at all. You like keeping things inside and it’s not good. I doubt you’re even listening to me now. Babe, Jake!” you yell trying to get his attention.

However, it’s fruitless because Jake can’t hear you from the sound of music in his ears. Frustration builds inside you and you rip out the headphones from his ears.

“Hey what was that for!?” Jake asks, now fully aware of his environment.

“Have you been listening to me at all? Did you even hear what I was saying?” you inquire, feeling already invisible as it is.

“I did, it’s the same thing you always talk about, me not being able to express myself,” he confesses with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. His entire attitude is frustrating you because it seems as though you’re the only one in the relationship. You clearly care a lot about him to be telling him things like these but the way he’s responding.

“You know yourself that you’re doing the wrong thing. Why is it so hard for you to trust me? We have this ring just because we trust each other. It seems as though the ring is void now, seeing as you don’t trust me” you say slightly raising the hand where the ring is on as proof.

“You this, you that. It’s always about you”

“What do you mean it’s always about me?”

“Haven’t you stopped to think that one of the reasons why I don’t want to tell you anything is because you make it hard for me to do so?”

“You can’t just say something and stop halfway. Explain” you plead and he rolls his eyes.

“The problem is, you want to always be in control of everything. You want to know what’s going on all the time and sometimes I hardly even know what’s going on myself. I don’t know if I should even continue with anything because I feel so tired of everything. I don’t understand myself because I want to do the right thing and please you and treat you right but I can’t”

“Babe, I mean Jake; we should take a break,” you propose taking off the ring that’s evidence of your never-ending love for each other. A promise. “I think we should stay away for a while,” you say and move back slightly. Jake is clearly not in the right state of mind. Maybe some things are not meant to be. It hurts though, so many years only for you to say it’s not meant to be.

That night, you wished Jake could hear the sound of your cries but he probably wishes you would never hear his.

It takes almost a month before you and Jake see each other again and when you do, you both have to stop yourself from crying on the spot.

“Y/N, I am so sorry for hurting you. I don’t deserve you and I’m really sorry. I’ll try harder to communicate with you now”

“I did wrong too. I won’t be so controlling anymore, I promise”

“Me too,” he confesses and you both embrace each other in a hug.

Sunghoon

"You don't get to do this Sunghoon! You don't get to leave whenever you want just because the conditions aren't favourable for you. Life doesn't work like that! Stop being so selfish and listen to me for once in your life" you yell for what should be the third time that week.

Nowadays, it's not a new thing to hear you and Sunghoon fight again. Last time it was about his unhealthy habits and now it’s about his blatant resistance to criticism.

"You're not getting it Y/N! It isn't just the criticism, they're directly hating on me and calling me undeserving of my position. They're calling me a visual. I’m not just a visual. I practice for so long so that I can get more recognition for something other than my pretty face. It hurts being called the untalented one, it really does”

“I know, you’re working so hard baby. I can t-”

“Forget it, it’s not as if you would get it anyway,” he says annoyingly and you have to restrain yourself from slapping his face. Sure, you didn’t have a lot of achievements, but you are happy and he tells you a lot about how much he’s proud of you.

“Shut up. Just because I don’t have many accomplishments as you do doesn’t mean I’m worth less than you. If that is truly the case, you should find someone to give this to then,” you snap and throw the promise ring he gave you a few weeks back at his face.

You pick up your bag to leave before Sunghoon grabs your hand and stares at you with a remorseful look on his face.

“Look Y/N,” he begins ashamed but you could care less at this point. Your stubbornness usually gets the best of you at times so you hardly know how to control it. He looks cute but you refuse to let yourself be fazed by his charms. “I didn’t mean it that way. I was just stressed and it shouldn’t be an excuse to take ”

“Sunghoon, I get that the responsibilities of your job are weighing down on you but don’t talk to people that way. I’ll always support you because I know how hard you work so don’t forget that”

“Even when I’m a jerk face,” he asks, with a small pout and you swear your heart constricts a little.

“Yes, even when you’re a jerk face, you twat”

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen angst #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #jay x reader #jake x reader #sunghoon x reader #park jay #sim jaeyoon #nishimura riki

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wonwoonlight · 2 years

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my way to you / jeon wonwoo | chapter 11

➝ Wonwoo x fem!Reader

➝ rich!AU // heir & heiress!AU // best friends to lovers // idiots to lovers lol // fluff // a lil drama bc why not // somewhat angsty // clicheeeee <3

➝ series warning: OC is Dense with a capital D, so many cliches but idc, implied sexual activities (but no actual smut scenes), eventual suggestive scenes, theyre both idiots, food, insecurity and self doubts, somewhat toxic parents, someone fainted like once, not always proofread am sorry ;-; that’s probably it? tell me if there’s more!

➝ A/N: for @boowanie @whalienrj and all of you lovely anons who have so kindly flooded my asks (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥ here's my love for u. thanks also jeonghan for the god tier timing of the cover drop😳 enjoy and... i guess see u on.. well, tuesday/friday..?😼 truly excited for u guys to read this one <3

series masterlist

Wonwoo’s fuming.

It’s literally been one day since he’s back in the country and he’s already seeing bullshit like you and your fucking ex from university almost making the headlines.

What were you doing with Kim Mingyu, anyway?

He tries his best to focus on the meeting going on in front of him, but he just keeps on glancing at his watch, praying that it would end already. When Chan finally asks if there’s anything more he’d like to add, Wonwoo quickly says no and ends the meeting on that note. He doesn’t waste a second to tell Chan he’ll be off for the rest of the day and to reschedule any meeting after.

Wonwoo checks his phone, annoyed that you’re not texting him at all. What were you thinking, really, getting involved with your ex?

Nevertheless, he finds himself worrying because he knows your parents won’t go easy on you when it comes to things like this. He closes his eyes in resignation as he recalls the headlines; something about a scandal between the Yoon heiress and the CEO of whatever Mingyu’s company is called.

Someone’s seen you both making out in the dim part of the club and has decided it’d make a good story for the media. It doesn’t help that they’ve also somehow gotten pictures of you leaving with Mingyu and going into a nearby hotel. Anyhow, your parents have somehow been able to sweep the stories under the rug–the posts taken down within minutes and it’s like it was never there to begin with.

But of course it would get to Wonwoo still and he had to hold himself back from throwing his phone over the window when he was informed of it.

He knows there could be nothing between the two of you, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt him to see the news. First Soonyoung and now Mingyu? It almost feels like you’re doing all this on purpose just to see him burst.

You didn’t even look at him when Wonwoo opens the door to your bedroom, simply frowns at your phone and continues scrolling as if he’s not there.

Wonwoo bites back a sigh, already used to this side of you when you don’t wish to address something. He’s trying his best not to be annoyed, but you’re making it difficult for him to stay calm when you won’t even acknowledge his presence even though he’s been calling you since earlier.

“Why were you with him?” he asks straight to the point at last, crossing his arms as he leans on your doorframe.

For a moment, Wonwoo thinks you’re going to ignore him again, but you shrug and mutter something about how you accidentally met him in the club.

“And you slept with him?”

The glare you throw his way is something that Wonwoo hasn’t seen in so long, because you don’t look offended–no, you look angry and obviously upset. He can’t even remember the last time he’s seen you this way.

“This concerns you because?”

“Because you’re my best friend and I care about you?” he frowns, not getting why you’re being defensive with him. Don’t you usually go to him after this kind of stuff? He knows your parents were here not long ago, having asked Seungcheol about it before he comes, and now you’re… mad at him?

“If you’re here to nag then I don’t need you to care about me,” you say before you turn your back to him.

If you’re being completely honest, you don’t understand either why you’re being this way. Perhaps it’s the amount of time you’re left by yourself to think about the possibility of you liking Wonwoo that way, and perhaps it’s the frustration within you because you still don’t have any answer to that, so seeing Wonwoo now only stacks things up and makes more mess within you.

“Why are you being like this?” He chooses the wrong words, he admits, but at least he doesn’t sound accusing because Wonwoo sounds downright pitiful that you feel bad for turning your back to him.

Still, the worst part of you wins and you brush him off by repeating your words earlier.

“So I can’t worry about you now?” he asks, affronted. What has gotten into you, really? “I haven’t seen you in more than a week and I got home to… this and you ask me not to worry?”

“Well, did I ask you to worry about me?” you snap at him, sitting up from your bed and throwing a glare his way.

The little voice within you tells you to stop, that you’re picking a fight with the wrong person, but the talk you had with your parents not even an hour ago wasn’t exactly the best way to start the day and the pounding in your head wasn’t exactly a recipe for a good mood either.

Wonwoo’s about to speak again, but is too stunned to say anything when he notices your eyes glistening and the way your body is slightly shaking.

“I woke up to my parents telling me I’m a disappointment, that I should be ashamed of myself, and you expect me to welcome you with open arms right now?”

He looks at you speechless, having been so long since he’s on the receiving end of your anger. You’ve never been one to be vocal about your feelings, even to Wonwoo, so to see you like this isn’t something that sits well with him.

You look helpless–so upset and Wonwoo doesn’t know what to do. He knows your parents always make you feel worthless that he has to remind you over and over again that you’re more than what they make you to be.

You’ve never said it out loud though. It’s just something that Wonwoo’s aware of and he always makes sure to let you know that you owe your parents nothing.

But this… It’s the first time you’ve ever worn your feelings on your sleeves after so long and it’s breaking him more than he thinks possible. Your eyes are void of anything when you look at him, and your body is shaking from trying hard to keep things together despite failing to do so.

He wants so badly to just hold you in his arms and tell you that you don’t need to go through this alone. That he’ll stay with you like he always does. But you’re quicker than he is and, next thing he knows, you’re already calling Seungcheol to let him out of the door.

Wonwoo doesn’t know if the way he feels his stomach drop is because you have just literally kicked him out when you desperately need someone to be with you most or because he’s seen you bursting with pain.

Whatever it is, he knows he’s never quite experienced heartbreak like this very moment and he hates that you’re hurting and he can’t be with you right now.

It’s almost a week after that day of a disaster and you’re bracing yourself up for the annual party. You haven’t left your condo at all, having asked Seungcheol to turn away any guests even if it’s your cousins in front of the door. You’ve been preparing everything online, thankful that the preparation is practically done so you really just need to confirm that everything’s going accordingly.

Wonwoo’s been messaging you nonstop, only because he knows you won’t be answering his call if he tries to call you. You don’t answer any of his messages though, unsure how to face him after that day.

You don’t know why he’s still trying this hard when you’re literally the one that got mad at him for no reason at all. You don’t know why he bothered, and even though a part of you is beyond relieved that you have someone like him in your life, another part of you is convinced that you don’t deserve Wonwoo after all.

How can you deserve him? He’s been there with you through literally everything, and now that you’re confused about your own feelings you blame it all on him?

Whether or not you’re in love with him, Wonwoo deserves someone who knows how to treat him right–someone that won’t push him away when they’re too overwhelmed by their own feelings.

Someone that’s not you.

You take a deep breath as you step down from the car, glad that you’re the event organizer so you have to arrive before the media. You ask Seungcheol to stand by you at all times, make it clear to him that you don’t wish to be left alone at any given time.

You’re not going to let Wonwoo or anyone speak to you privately. At least not tonight.

Something within you reasons that you simply don’t want to have a confrontation during the event because it might mess up your focus, but, truthfully, you know you’re just being a coward and you’re not ready to face any of them and their questions–especially Wonwoo.

It’s weird to be overlooking an event without him by your side, but you just keep on moving here and there under the pretense of making sure everything’s fine when you’re really just making reasons not to stand in one place for too long that people would start talking to you.

Soonyoung catches you once, but he thankfully has enough sense to leave you be once he realizes you’re not in the mood to talk with just about anyone. Shua and the others try to approach you too, but your forced smile and the hasty way you’re stepping away from them is enough to let them know that you don’t want to speak to them just yet.

You meet Wonwoo’s parents by chance, and you politely bow to them and excuse yourself to check on the catering before they start asking why you’re not with Wonwoo. You don’t even know if the news have reached them before it got taken down, but you don’t dare to meet their gaze in case you’ll find faux politeness and scrutinizing eyes.

You’ve been seeing him too since earlier, and you can tell that he’s lingering, waiting for the perfect timing to stand beside you and talk. But you’re smarter than that, and you’ve been making him follow you around only to be stopped by his business partners because you purposefully pass by them, knowing they’d talk to Wonwoo once they see him nearby.

You haven’t made up with your parents, but they talk like you’re their pride because they see how much everyone’s enjoying the annual party, because everyone’s been saying it’s the most successful one so far and they can’t wait for the next one already.

What a way to make you feel shittier than you already do.

Thankfully, the party is coming to an end and you tell Seungcheol you’re going to the restroom. He escorts you to the private area, standing just enough distance from the door without being too far away while you’re in there.

He looks around to see some people nearby, as there are only a group of people who get access to this particular area, and he easily recognizes Mrs. Jeon talking with Jeonghan’s mom near the paintings. He sees Wonwoo too, but he’s fidgeting and he doesn’t look like he wants to be there.

Not long after, Seungcheol sees Jeonghan’s mom stepping out of the room, which leaves Mrs. Jeon and Wonwoo alone. He averts his gaze to the fireplace, a little far off the two is another group of people hunched together, their hushed voice meshing together as they talk about something he can’t quite register.

You step out just then, and Seungcheol dutifully follows behind when you suddenly stop in your track. He’s about to ask if something’s wrong when he hears it–Mrs. Jeon’s voice a soft whisper even though it’s still clear to him what she’s talking about.

And if Seungcheol, who’s standing behind you, can hear her clearly, then it’s obvious that you can, too.

“Wonwoo, dear, don’t you think it’s about time that you find a girlfriend?”

He hears Wonwoo sighs, but his words are inaudible.

“Are you really waiting for Y/N?” The frown in her voice is crystal even though Seungcheol can’t actually see it. In front of him, you tense at the mention of your name. “Do you think it’s worth it? She’s been nothing but trouble to you…”

Seungcheol hears the sharp breath you take, and you don’t waste more seconds to try to listen to what they’re talking about because you’re already turning away from where their voices come from.

You’re startled when you immediately bump into Seungcheol, as if forgetting that it’s you who asked him to follow you at all time. Seungcheol doesn’t say anything though, and he quietly escorts you out of the room without being seen by anyone.

He doesn’t need you to tell him you want to go home, and you appreciate him so much for calling your parents’ security head that you might’ve eaten something wrong so Seungcheol’s bringing you home early. He even tells Mr. Lee that he’d be driving himself, something that the old driver finds odd but understands rather quickly once he sees the look on your face.

You can never say how grateful you are that Seungcheol doesn’t say anything as you cry throughout your way back home.

Three days after the party, Wonwoo finds himself worried out of his mind.

You’re still ignoring him, his phone calls straight to the voice mail and his texts left unanswered. It wouldn’t be exaggerating to say he hasn’t been able to function as usual. He can’t even properly sleep and it doesn’t help that there’s a BOC meeting around the corner.

He’s promised himself he’ll come by to your place tomorrow if you still haven’t answered by tonight, figuring that should be enough time and space for you already. He doesn’t even know how many texts he’s sent you and it’s frustrating to know that you don’t even read them.

You’ve never ignored him for this long nor have you fought this big. He can’t even remember the last time you actually fought with each other, and he’s not the least bit embarrassed to admit how much this one’s affecting him.

Chan has even started to lessen his schedules somehow, easily recognizing the stressed line in his boss’s face and the way Wonwoo has been keeping to himself these days. The boss rarely even acknowledges him the past few days, and this would usually be the time when Chan would call for you--if not for the fact that he’s aware of the whole… predicament.

Wonwoo’s currently in a private meeting now with the owner of Shin Enterprises while Chan goes through his email and see if there’s anything urgent he needs to follow up. There are a lot of things, obviously, but he knows Wonwoo’s mind is a little too preoccupied to actually review some of those proposals and it’d be better to hold them up for a bit until his boss is in a more normal state.

He quirks an eyebrow when his phone rings, and then frowns in confusion when he sees “YOON HOLDINGS – Boo Seungkwan” on his phone. What would Jeonghan’s secretary need from him? He’s pretty sure Wonwoo doesn’t have any project with that cousin of yours right now. Either way, he clears his throat and accepts the phone because he doesn’t have any reason not to, anyway.

The more Seungkwan talks, the more Chan finds himself tensing. He wouldn’t even be surprised if he misses 80% of what the older guy is saying, heart beating fast beyond normal that his fingers are gripping the phone held to his ear. His voice is a little strained too when he hangs up, and he needs to calm himself down and take a deep breath before he knocks the door of the meeting room and apologizes for the interruption.

Wonwoo looks at him in pure confusion, Chan never interrupts his private meeting, knowing full well that meetings with these people are hard to reschedule. But he sees the pure distress in the younger guy's eyes and Wonwoo excuses himself to follow his secretary out of the room. Some scenarios go through his mind, the worst one being Chan receiving a grief news from his family. What could possibly result in Chan reacting like this?

“What’s wrong?” he looks at the younger guy in worry, the most expressive Chan has seen of him this week.

He takes a deep breath before exhaling softly, unsure how to break the news to his boss except to rip off the band aid in one go.

“Seungkwan called, Sir.”

“Jeonghan’s secretary?” his frowns deeper, a sudden knot in his stomach twisting in the worst way possible.

“It’s been three days since they last saw Miss Yoon.” His voice is shaky, and he gulps before he continues. Wonwoo looks like he’s about to break down in front of him the more he relays what he’s heard from Seungkwan. “They’ve officially declared her missing this morning.”

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.

A/N: hehehhehehehehh <3 also for @hoe4wonwoo and @justasoftstan who have been asking for the Drama

taglist: @hoe4wonwoo@dnylwoo@yslshua@twogyuu@najaemin138@blueixnie@boowanie@pwettytae@itsveronicaxxx@aphrodyteeth@leechanniee@jeoonghann@sdoulc@kyeomjjigae@ru-lin@listxn@yngreid@vynnz@lilactangerine@justasoftstan@amymoonl@02psh@lovelywoo@pusangmamon@yoontaedotin@soonchanshua@fanfic24@nothingbutadeadesceane@nollixtrml@sweetheart-gs@rjsmochii@dowoonwoodealer@babyjagihoney

#wonwoo fic #seventeen scenario #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #svt fic #seventeen fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo x you #my way to you masterlist #wonwoo scenario #wonwoo au #seventeen au #wonwoo angst #seventeen angst #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo imagine

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ann-mariee · 2 years

Text

It’s Me & You For All Eternity

Pairing: Fred X Reader

Warning: Gets sad at one point not gonna lie and some angst…it’s a lot of fluff though! It’s roughly edited because I really just wanted to post it finally…sooo I apologize for that.

A/N: After saying for I think a whole year…the long Fred fic is done! I actually enjoyed writing this one a lot…I found another long fic I wrote about Fred in my drafts that I never finished and if this one gets a lot of love…I might finish it..but enjoy this writing I hyped up too much lol!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Their love story was like no other.

To find someone and experience this type of love at such a young age was rare.

It is the type of love written in pages of a book. Seen on screens in theaters.

How luck they were to be able and share it together.

The First Hello

3 AM.

That’s what (Y/n’s) clock read.

It was the loud sounds from outside her dorm window that had the young girl up at this hour.

Getting up from her bed, the sleep still in her eyes. She glanced out her window to see two spindly red headed figures outside.

Anger surged through the girl.

Fuming, she threw on her shoes and coat, making her way outside.

The Weasley twins were well know for their pranks and jokes during their years at Hogwarts.

(Y/n) however, never really talked to either of them. Sure they were in the same house, but conversation let alone an introduction never came up.

That is until today.

Noticing a small figure walking towards their spot on the grass, George slapped his twins shoulder pointing in the direction of (Y/n) making her way quickly towards them.

“I swear, if you set off one more firework. I will fight you”, annoyance laced her words as she spoke.

Standing in silence for a moment, the twins weren’t sure how to respond.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Fred and this is George”,

“Hi”, the other ginger said with a small wave.

Crossing her arms at their dim witted attempt to change the subject. Nevertheless, her upset appearance didn’t falter.

“(Y/n) (L/n). Now, can you stop setting fireworks off and oh I don’t know, let people sleep in peace?”.

Fred couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the girl who stood before him was.

His twin didn’t fail to notice the awestruck expression his brother wore in the presence of the girl.

“Right, sorry about that. Truly we thought they wouldn’t be that loud. Promise it won’t happen again”, George spoke up.

“Thank you”, she said softening her face and giving the pair a slight nod. Having said what she needed she turned around and headed for the bed that called her name.

Snapping out of the trance her beauty had over him, Fred finally noticed her starting to walk away from where he and his brother stood.

“Be right back Georgie”, he said, sprinting in the direction of where she was.

“(Y/n)! Wait”.

Turning around, she looked at the tall boy before her. Finally seeing what every girl in her grade said about how Fred Weasley was one of the cutest boys in the school.

“Yes?”.

“Can I make it up to you? You know, the whole waking you up with the fireworks and all”, he nervously asked her. Scratching the back of his neck. A habit he’s tried to shake many times before.

“Oh, um you don’t hav-”,

“I want to”, cutting her off before she could refuse his offer, “..How about I take you on a date?”, he said blushing. He’d never been this forward with a girl before, but there was something so captivating about her that he couldn’t help it.

“Fred I barley know you”, she said with a chuckle. The slight breeze of the wind picking up, urging the girl to cross her arms in attempt to keep the little bit of warmth she brought with her.

“Give me the chance to change that”, the boy spoke as he started taking his jacket off and wrapping it around the girls shoulder.

How had she never realized how chivalrous the boy was? Thinking it over for a second. What kind of fool would she be if she said no.

“Alright”, smiling at the boy now and wrapping his sweater around her tighter, “You can pick me up at noon after I’ve taken my potions exam”

“Ok, sounds gre- Wait, today?”.

“Well, we’re not getting any younger are we Weasley?”, she quipped at the boy before making her way back to her dorm to finally get some sleep.

Watching her walk away, Fred failed to hear George walk up next to him.

“Thanks for the help cleaning up mate”, he said, slapping the back of Freds head passing him and making way towards the school.

Usually Fred would have gotten his brother back, but right now he didn’t care.

He had a date with (Y/n) (L/n).

And so their love story began,

The First Date

“Fred where are we going?”, (Y/n) said giggling, hands held out in hopes she wouldn’t bump into anything.

“Merlin woman it’s a surprise!”.

His hands placed over her eyes, guiding her to the date he’d been setting up all day.

It had been the warmest day in awhile. Fred originally planned to take (Y/n) to Hogsmeade, however, the weather was too nice to pass his new idea up.

“Ok we’re here”.

Moving his hands away from her eyes, watching her reaction as she took in the scene before her.

“Oh Freddie, it’s perfect! You did all this for me?”.

In front of her, a blanket laid near the beech tree in front of one of the banks of the black lake. A picnic for the two spread out on it.

“Of course”, he said grabbing her hand leading her down towards the food and sweet treats that awaited them, “I’d to anything and more for you”.

Smiling at the boy, she reached up grabbing his face and kissing his cheek lightly.

“You’re amazing Fred Weasley. Did you know that?”.

Taking their seats on the ground. Soaking in the nice weather and enjoying the company of one another.

“So I’ve been told”, winking at the girl while tossing a piece of food in his mouth.

After the food, the pair spent the rest of the day outside. Talking about everything and anything. Losing track of time in each other’s presence. The sun above them setting, the sky slowly becoming littered with stars.

Turning to the girl, mesmerized by her beauty. A smile found its way onto his face.

“You look absolutely beautiful in the moon light”.

Blushing, the girl turned to meet the gaze of the boy before her.

“So do you”.

The First Kiss

“...and then Hermione was telling me that muggles have these building full of art. Imagine how beautiful that must be Freddie! We have to go one day! She even gave me a few books on pieces from famous muggle artists. Strange how something with no magic can make me feel as if that’s all it contains. I guess that’s the beauty of art. She also tol-“

Just like that, Fred crashed his lips onto hers without warning. He couldn’t help it.

Shock overtook the girl.

However, it didn’t take long for (Y/n) to soon fall into the kiss as well. Her eyes shutting. Blocking out any distraction and focusing only on his lips connecting to hers.

It was as if he was the breath of air she didn’t realize she needed.

Throwing her arms around him. Feeling desperate to be closer to the boy.

It was only when they needed to catch their breath that the broke apart.

Unable to open her eyes for a moment, Fred sat there and admired her. Resting his head against hers.

Taking in all her beauty.

It was as if the stars in the sky fell down to create her.

Brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear Fred found himself smiling. Knowing that out of all the people she could choose to love. She chose him. How lucky he was.

Finally opening her eyes to meet his, seeing the love and adoration in his eyes. She knew she must have done something extraordinary in her past life to deserve him in this one.

“I’ve wanted to do that for awhile now”, he said.

Inching their faces closer together, (Y/n) took his face in her hand. Thumb lightly brushing against his cheek.

Lips ghosting over his, close but not enough to touch.

She glanced down at them, to his eyes, then back to his lips.

“What took you so long”, she whispered before kissing him for the second time, a feeling she could most definitely get used to.

The First “I Love You”

“Come on Freddie! It hasn’t happened in years and you really wanna stay in instead of watching something spectacular happen!? Plus, it will be romantic”, the girl spoke. Moving her eyebrows up and down in a joking matter.

“(Y/n) it’s supposed to rain tonight”, the boy said with a small laugh, “..We won’t even be able to see it, love”.

In his dorm room, (Y/n) sat straddling Fred’s lap. Not with the intention of anything sexual. Simply relishing in the comfort that came with being so close to him.

His arms sat on her thighs, subconsciously tracing patterns with his fingers against the skin that wasn’t covered by her school skirt.

“Freddie in astronomy we were told there might be a chance of rain. It’s not a definite that it will! Please my love?”.

Giving her best puppy dog eyes, Fred finally caved.

“Fine, we can go watch the meteor shower if it means that much to you”, sighing out in defeat.

Reaching forward and grabbing his face, the girl began to pepper kiss him. From his cheeks, his forehead, nose, to his lips. Muttering ‘thank you’s’ between each peck placed on his face.

So now there they were, the only ones interested enough to stand outside in the courtyard waiting for the show to begin.

(Y/n’s) eyes focused on the night sky, while Fred’s focused only on her.

Just like he said, rain started pouring down.

Reaching her hands up, the girl looked toward her boyfriend with a small smile placed on her face.

“Ok, I think it time to go back inside darling”, the boy said.

Both of them getting soaked the longer they stood outside.

“No wait!”, reaching to stop the boy from moving, “..Give it a second. It’ll clear up”.

The rain falling even harder now. Causing the girl to laugh.

Her hands held towards the sky, as if she could grab the water falling on her.

In that moment, he realized he loved her.

More than he ever thought possible.

She was his world and so much more.

Seeing her right now, in the rain.

Clothes soaked, laughing and enjoying the sudden change in weather, he knew he was in love with her.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”, (Y/n) asked quietly turning towards his gaze. Walking closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his figure. Peering up towards his face. Water droplets running down her face as she spoke.

His arms wrapping around her out of reflex, “I am so bloody in love with you (Y/n) (L/n)”, he spoke.

Mesmerized by her beauty in that moment.

Eyes scanning her face, waiting for a reaction to his words.

The girl quickly brought his face down to hers. Kissing him with everything in her.

“I am madly and entirely, in love with you too Fredrick Weasley”, she said after pulling away from the kiss. Foreheads pressed together. The both of them marking this moment as one of their favorites.

Looking up and realizing the rain wasn’t stopping anytime soon, Fred grabbed (Y/n’s) hand interlacing their fingers. Rushing back towards the doors, eager to get into the dry building.

Not all relationships are perfect. With the happiness comes pain. Every relationship has its fair share of ups and downs.

Theirs was no exception.

The First Fight

“Did it ever occur to you that this decision affected me too?”.

They had been arguing for the past hour.

“(Y/n) it’s really not a big deal. I don’t understand what you’re on about. The aging potion didn’t even work”.

“You’re joking right? Fred, people have died in this tournament! You do know that don’t you”. It was more a statement than a question.

“Of course I know that!”.

“THEN WHY WOULD YOU RISK IT?”.

The girl was fuming at this point. Angry at the fact that he was so willing to put his name in the goblet of fire. Willing to risk everything. His family, his life. Her. All for money and “eternal glory”.

“You’re being ridiculous”, the boy said sitting down on his bed.

Pacing back and forth, (Y/n) tried to keep the tears from falling. The thought of the risk he took sinking in deeper now.

“I can’t even look at you right now”, the girl scoffed, “..You know what Fred, I hope it was worth it”.

Grabbing her stuff from the floor and making her way for the door, ready to leave the heated environment.

“So what? Are you breaking up with me? Over some stupid tournament that I failed to enter in, might I add? You’re just going to throw all this away? Throw us away?”.

Stopping in her spot, (Y/n) turned to face him. The anger in her face, now replaced by pain.

“Don’t you get it Fred? I LOVE YOU! That’s why I’m upset. I can’t bare the thought of losing you”, pausing for a second. Thinking how she was to put into word what she felt, “..I know that we’re young and we have yet to live our lives. How can you sit here though as if you putting yours on the line doesn’t matter? What happened to our dreams of having a big family, of one day getting married. We’re supposed to do it TOGETHER!..Does our relationship mean so little that you wouldn’t even think to ask me my opinion on the matter? Did you ever think how it would effect your mum? Ginny, Ron? Everyone who cares about you?”, silence overtook the room. She had silently hoped he would know where she was coming from. Yet, he just sat there. Looking at her, not muttering a word. The girl turned back to the door, “...I’ll see you later Fred”.

Just like that, she was gone.

Honestly, Fred hadn’t thought of the dangers of entering. Figuring if it worked, what were the chances he would get called? He didn’t take the second to see all that would be put on the line. He and George had been so caught up in the idea that if one of them got called and did win, they would finally have the money to open their shop. In that moment he knew how much he messed up. How stupid it was for him to not talk with (Y/n). Merlin, how stupid it was to enter the tournament in the first place.

The reality of her absence started to set in. His heart felt emptier than it did moments ago.

This wasn’t their first fight. Of course they have had arguments before, nothing quite this big however.

It had been a few hours since (Y/n) left his dormitory.

Glancing at the clock, the girl headed towards the great hall to get food. Although she had lost her appetite, she knew she had to eat otherwise she’d regret it later. Sitting down at the long Gryffindor table, the girl didn’t even notice Fred come and sit beside her. To busy playing with the food on her plate. The stressful thoughts of where her relationship stood clouding her mind. Until a voice broke her out of her trance.

“(Y/n/n), can we talk please?”.

Dropping her fork, the girl rotated her body to face him. Gently raising her brows as a way to say “go on”.

Fred took notice of the red in her eyes, heart aching knowing he was the cause of it.

“Can we talk somewhere else?”.

Huffing out a sigh, the girl stood up from her place at the table, looking down at Fred and motioned him to walk with her. Eventually finding a empty hall, they took a seat on the bench against one of the stone walls. The environment with the two went from normal to awkward. Both sitting further away from each other than usual. Unsure of what would happen at the end of this discussion.

“I’m sorry,” Fred spoke up with a shaky voice. The nerves taking over at the thought she might break up with him at any moment.

“...I should have talked to you about the tournament. I was just so caught up in the idea of the money that I didn’t think about how it would affect everyone. I never want you to think that I would ever want to jeopardize our life together (Y/n)”, he reached for her hand, happy that when he took it she didn’t pull it away. “...It was dumb of me to put that on the line. The thought of not being able to experience our kids running around the front yard while we sit on the porch watching them grow and knowing how good we have it scares me. The thought of me not getting to see George, Bill, Charlie, my whole family in fact.. happy with their lives, scares me. I promise you, I’ll never purposefully without good reason put myself in a position to risk that again. I understand if you don’t want to be with me after this”. Finally looking down from her eyes as his heart broke a little mentioning the possibility of the end of their relationship.

Closing her eyes, a tear slid down her cheek. She reached her hand under his chin, gently moving his head to look him in the eyes when she spoke.

“Fred I don’t want to break up. You are the love of my life. Everything I want in life, I want with you. That’s why it hurt me so bad. I never want to be the one to get in the way of your dreams. I know you wanted the money for the joke shop. I just wish you would have come to me and discussed it before you tried to enter. I mean, I only found out because Hermione told me you were in the hospital wing due to the backfire from the aging potion. You didn’t even tell me you were going to enter. My own boyfriend didn’t tell me himself. So yeah, it hurt me”, pausing to wipe away the tear that escaped her boyfriends eyes, ”..Communication and compromise is necessary in every relationship Freddie. Had you told me you wanted to enter, of course I’d call you crazy and say no, but I would have known you were going to try anyways because that’s the kind of person you are. We need to start getting better at talking to each other or else we’ll start to pull away from one another. I don’t want that, you’re my person Fredrick Gideon Weasley. I’m not gonna lose you.”

More tears pooled in the girls eyes. Noticing the same thing was happening to Fred. The anger in her dissipated. Hurt lingering a little longer in her, though with time she’d get past it. Together they would grow from this.

Wiping his tears away, the girl pulled his body in for a hug. Their body’s curving into one another. Fitting together like puzzle pieces.

“Are we okay then?”, the boy asked.

“We will be”.

Pulling back, the boy placed his hands on the side of her face, pulling her forward to gently place a kiss to her forehead.

“Stay with me tonight please (Y/n/n)? I need you with me right now. The thought of losing you broke me.”

“Of course Freddie”, she quietly said with a smile. “...I love you”.

“I love you too”.

The both of them knew this wasn’t going to be their only fight. They also knew, their love for one another would always be there at the end of the day.

The First Step Towards the Future

“It just gonna be weird is all”, said George.

“George, I’m only moving out of the flat mate”.

“I know”, George looked around his brother at the empty half of the room. Offering to take the last box down to set with the rest of his brother belongings.

Passing George in the hall, (Y/n) walked into the room. Wrapping her arms around her boyfriends long torso from behind. Placing the side of her head on his back and hugging him.

She gladly took in his scent and the comfort that came with. Glancing over his shoulder, he placed his hand atop of hers that rested on the lower half of his stomach.

“Hi my love”, he said speaking in a soft whisper.

“Hi Freddie”.

Turning his head back around, the boy looked at the room. Reminiscing in the memories that were created there.

“You going to miss it?”, the girl spoke up. Removing her hands to stand in front of her boy and hug him from his front this time.

“I am. I’m ready to make new memories with you though”, raising his hands to brush her hair behind her ears, “..It’s gonna be weird not living with George for once though. Reckon I’ll even miss his snoring”, the ginger headed boy laughed.

Rolling her eyes with a smile, she couldn’t help but let out a little laugh.

“Well, he’s welcome over anytime. I’d lose my mind not seeing one of my best friends as often as I normally do visiting you in the flat and all”.

“Don’t tell him that. He’ll be over all the time and then I’d get no alone time with my best girl”.

Looking up into the boys eyes, it would be hard to miss the warmth held in them.

They both were ready for this next step. For Merlins sake, they’d only been thinking about the rest of their lives together since that night in the rain.

Interlacing their fingers, (Y/n) started towards the door.

“Ready Freddie?”.

“Ready”.

He knew he wanted to marry her.

When he thought of his life and the person he grew old with, she was the only person he could see.

When he realized just how in love with her he was, now Fred Weasley wasn’t sure of a lot of things. With (Y/n) however, he knew he had done something right.

The proposal wasn’t some grand gesture with fireworks and a fancy dinner with his family all watching. He loved them dearly, but that just doesn’t seem like a “Fred Weasley” thing to do. He wanted it to feel right, just the two of them. He knew that when the right moment came, he’d be ready to ask her.

First, the Proposal

He could never get enough of her, truly.

There she laid with the sheets covering her lower half. Her stomach pressed against the mattress as her hair barley covered her bare back that was on display. Her clothes discarded somewhere from last nights events.

Fred silently admired how in the mornings even with her hair all over the place. She never failed to make him fall in love even more.

Growing bored of being the only one up, he moved closer to (Y/n). Pushing her hair to the side completely and began to press soft kisses to her shoulder in hopes she would wake up.

It took only a few seconds for her to stir in her sleep, becoming half aware of the affection she was receiving as her eyes opened; slowly adjusting to the light that poured through the window.

“That tickles”, she said in a soft voice.

Smiling while mid kiss on her skin, Fred let out a small laugh. Deciding to pull her closer to his body and nuzzle his face into the back of her neck. Enjoying the warmth that her body radiated.

“Good morning my love”.

“Good morning”.

(Y/n) was fully awake now. Turning to her boyfriend, a smile found its way to her face at the sight in front of her. Fred’s ginger hair all over the place. She took notice of the small bruises starting to form on his neck. Remembering how just hours ago she had placed them there.

“Have you been up long?”, she asked. Reaching her hand out to tuck his grown out hair behind his ear.

Pulling her closer, if possible. He simply shook his head no.

They both fell into a silent environment. Just looking at one another. Until Fred spoke up.

“You’re so beautiful”.

“Thank you lovey. You’re not to bad yourself”, she smiled. Reaching forward to peck his lips a few times.

“So Freddie, what shall we do today?”, (Y/n) said as she got up, looking around the room for one of his shirts and grabbing underwear while waiting for his response.

All she heard from him was a groan. Turning her head, she looked over to see him face down in the mattress.

“Come back, I just wanna stay in this bed with you all day”.

“Ah, I like the way you think Fred Weasley”, she gave him a wink. Jumping back on the bed, he didn’t hesitate to pull her into him once again. She laid her head on his chest. Looking up at him. Content with both the position and company.

To him, she looked so ethereal. How lucky of him that he got to wake up and go to sleep next to her everyday.

Then he knew.

He knew that he couldn’t spend another morning, evening, Merlin! even a second where she wasn’t officially his forever.

He knew in that moment he was ready to ask her.

“Marry me?”, he lightly whispered down towards her, gently brushing his thumb against her bottom lip before tilting her head up towards him.

The question took her breath away. Looking up at him now, wondering if he was serious or not. Only seeing all the love he held for her in his eyes.

She was ready. She has been ready.

“Yes”, the widest grin on her face.

Turning to the bedside table, Fred pulled out the velvet box that he’s had for months. Taking the ring out and gently grabbing her left hand to place it on her ring finger. Admiring how fitting it was. How somehow he got the privilege to be the one who put it there.

Looking at her hand, she was in awe at the simple ring. How someone so perfect such as him, could make her feel the way she felt whenever he was near. She never dreamt of a big proposal or anything of the sorts. All she wanted was her and Fred. No matter the place or time. She knew what her answer would be.

Pulling her in for a kiss, (Y/n) couldn’t help but smile into it.

“I know its not much”,

“It’s perfect”, she said raising her hand to admire it.

“Mrs. (Y/n) Weasley. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”.

With that he pulled her back in for another kiss. Pulling the bedsheets over the two. The both of them not leaving the bed that day. Just as they planned.

Then the Vows

Suddenly, music filled the air where conversations were just being held.

Slowly, (Y/n) made her way to the person she couldn’t imagine her life with out.

Watching all the guests stand as she made her way down the isle.

Breathing, taking it one step at a time.

The sight of her in her white gown left Fred breathless.

He couldn’t help the tears that started to form in his eyes.

Taking in all the beauty and oh how he couldn’t seem to look away.

The both of them smiling wider than before with each step to get them closer together.

Finally reaching where he stood waiting, Fred raised his hands to lift (Y/n’s) veil, folding it back gently behind her head.

“May everyone take their seats”, Arther said.

He had given the long speech about love and marriage that anyone gives when officiating a wedding.

“Now, both Fred and (Y/n) have prepared their own vows to each other”, looking at the pair before him and turning towards his son, “…Fred you will go first”.

Taking a deep breath and grabbing both her hands in his,taking note of how perfect they fit together.

“(Y/n), I tell you this everyday and will continue telling you this for as long as you allow me. You my darling, are the love of my life. You’re my best friend, lover, inspiration, my world. You make me a better person. Not only have you made everyday of my life better since you entered it, but you make me better. I promise to love you unconditionally through thick and thin. To overcome any obstacle we face. I promise to tell you I love you every single day for the rest of out lives, which by my calculations should be 36,500 more times if we live around 130 years old”, he said with a small laugh, their guests long forgotten. Their focus only on each other, “…You truly are my dream come true, my love. That night we met, I knew I was meant to spend my life with you. I love you so much. I am yours completely til I take my last breath. It’s me and you for all eternity”.

Finishing up, Fred reached his hands up wiping away her tears.

Taking a moment to themselves, (Y/n) rest her cheek into the palm of his hand.

Arther Weasleys voice had then broken the silence, “(Y/n) my dear, whenever you’re ready”.

Slightly nodding, glancing down at their hands joined together once again before landing her attention back toward the love of her life.

“As a young girl, I was always told to stay as young as I could for as long as I could. I always thought it true until I met you Fred Weasley. The thought of growing older with you completes me. Meeting you, I knew that my home no longer consists of a place, but rather a person. You are the equal my mind, soul, and heart have been searching for my entire life. I promise to continue loving you unconditionally without hesitation. To always accept you as you are, as you do me. I will always put you and our future first and give you my absolute best for as long as we shall live. Words can’t express the joy you have brought to my life. Looking into your eyes, I see our future. The love you have never failed to show me. Forever and always my Freddie. It’s me and you for all eternity.”

Their attention being torn from one another as the guest sat in the chairs let out a chorus of “awes”.

“Beautifully said you two, Ginny? The rings please?”, Arther said towards his daughter.

As quickly as they could, the couple slid the bands onto each others fingers.

“You may now kiss your bride”.

Fred didn’t wait one more second, grabbing his wife and dipping her in his arms. Planting a sweet kiss that held all the love for her on her lips. The guest loudly clapping and cheering at the union.

The rest of the night was spent in celebration of the beautiful couple. Both their families looking at them, glad they’d found their way to each other.

The First Goodbye

The war had ended.

Harry had finally beat Voldemort.

That was weeks ago.

As the Wizarding world still celebrated, (Y/n) stood frozen.

Staring down at his grave.

“Hi Freddie”, the girl spoke as she put her hands in her pocket.

“We won. Harry did it”.

Taking a seat on the ground, she leaned her back against Fred’s tombstone.

“I know I say that every time I come to visit, but if I don’t remind myself of the good that came from this. I’ll fall apart over what happened to you, and I’m scared there’s no coming back from that”.

Looking down at her lap, tears ran down the girls cheek.

“I paid a visit to your mum this morning. She seems to be doing better than me. I doubt that’s true though”.

Looking back up, the girl finally let go of the emotions she’d been holding onto.

“I’m not fine”, she said with a crack in her voice.

“I know I said I was the last time I was here. I’m not fine Fred”.

Water beginning to collect in the girls eyes, her tears finally falling as she spoke.

“I miss you so much. It’s like I can’t breathe”.

Taking short breaths, (Y/n) rest her head in her hands. Feeling the cold metal of the ring against her head that still sat on her finger since the day he placed it there.

“You were supposed to come home with me Freddie after we won. We were supposed to raise children together”, gasping for air between her sobs. (Y/n) had to pause between her sentences. Finding it difficult to finally say out loud how she was feeling.

“You were meant to teach them pranks with George,” letting out a small laugh at the thought, “…Then we would have gotten letters from Hogwarts about them saying all the things Professor McGonagall said in the ones to your mum and father about you”, (Y/n) said, her voice wavering.

The walls she put up finally breaking down, she was angry.

Angry that he was taken away from her before she had got a to say goodbye.

Angry that she couldn’t touch him, talk to him, or see him again.

“You taught me how to live with you, please Freddie”,

“…tell me how I’m supposed to live without you”.

Trying to catch her breath, she began to feel the same weight pressed against her chest just as she did that night in the castle seeing him laying there on the cold concrete floor.

His body lifeless. Making her wish for the first time in her life that something bad would happen to her, just so she could be with him.

“I’m so scared that I’m going to forget. That the memories of our last laughs, kisses, our last everything’s are going to slip from my memory completely one day”.

She had sat in silence for awhile taking notice of the sun beginning to set behind the trees.

Taking the pink and orange hues in the sky as a sign to say goodbye and make her way back home.

Wiping her tear stained cheeks, “I’m sorry I was a complete mess during our visit today, my love. I promise to make it up to you next time”.

Rising from her place on the ground, she took her hand to her lips placing a kiss on her cold fingers before pressing them against the letters of his name on the stone slab.

Silently walking away, counting down the seconds till her next visit.

(Y/n) lived her days as best as she could.

She knew he wouldn’t want her to mourn forever.

But, how can one move on from losing the love of their life?

She lead a life full of magic and love for her family.

Never dating after him, ignoring his voice in the back of her head telling her it was ok if she tried.

She was content being the fun aunt to her family’s children.

Telling them the story of her and Fred’s love every time they asked, even though they had heard the story thousands of times before.

Sure she always wanted kids, but she only wanted them with him. The thought of having anything with someone else other than him felt like betrayal. Even though she knew he would never see it that way, she didn’t have the heart to try otherwise.

One day, in her summer home, knowing her age was stating to take a toll on her health; she reminisced the events in her life that got her here. The people who loved and cared for her, the memories made in and out of Hogwarts, the war, what she lost along with it as well as the strength she gained after it was over.

Finally, at an old age, she had passed peacefully in her sleep.

Finally, Forever

Slowly opening her eyes, it took (Y/n) a moment to adjust to the bright light.

Confused as to where she was, taking a second to observe her surroundings.

Hogwarts.

“How did I get here?”, the girl spoke aloud to herself.

Walking down the hall, she glanced at her reflection in one of the many windows place along the concrete wall.

Shocked at what she saw, a small gasp slipped past her lips.

Slowly, she raised her hand to her face.

She was no longer the old woman she once was. Instead, stood staring back at her, she found her young self once more.

Suddenly the girls eyes no longer focused on herself, but a figures legs with the rest of their body being hidden by the tree that sat out near the black lakes shoreline.

Leaving her place in the hall and making her way outside, the girl shouted towards the figure as she grew closer.

“Excuse me! ..Do you happen to know where everyone is?”, the young girl said as she turned towards and pointing at the school before her eyes fell back where the person sat.

“Are we the only ones here? I didn’t see anyon-“,

The air had left her lungs as soon as the tall figure stood up from his spot on the grass, finally coming into view.

He was so beautiful.

Nothing about him had change.

A wide smile appeared on the boys face,

“My love, it’s been too long. I’ve missed you”, he said as he extended his arm for her to grab.

Still confused, the girl slowly reached for his hand.

Just as they touched, a gasp could be heard accompanied by a single tear rolling down (Y/n’s) face.

It wasn’t a dream.

“How can I feel you?”.

“It’s our time, my dear”, he spoke with a gentle voice.

Looking in his eyes, she felt at peace.

Reaching for her face, the boy brought her closer, planting a kiss to her forehead.

Instantly, she wrapped her arms around his long torso because Merlin, he’s here, and in her arms and she never wants to let him go again.

“I love you (Y/n) Weasley”.

“I love you so much more Fredrick Weasley”.

Looking into his eyes with a smile, she was home.

Love everlasting.

Not many people get the chance they got.

Not one moment taken for granted.

Love, in it’s truest form.

The End.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag: @mela1648 you asked me awhile ago to tag you when I finished, so enjoy love <3

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

You Tidy His Studio For Him ~ Min Yoongi

As you walked past Yoongi’s studio, your eyes were instantly drawn to the mess that was inside. The lasting words that he left you with as he left for work that morning struck you instantly, drawing you into the room with a soft sigh, knowing just how thankful he would be for you.

In the middle of comeback Yoongi was always under pressure, although he was home, he spent almost every hour of the day cooped up in his studio instead whilst you took care of the main house, and him as well.

Before you knew it, you were walking around Yoongi’s studio with a bin bag in your hand, throwing several wrappers and food boxes in. As you did so, you tidied up the paperwork that was on his desk too, watering his plants and adjusting his photos so that they were straight.

Even you were impressed by the look of the studio once you were finished just an hour late, knowing how much it would mean to Yoongi to have a clean space too.

The untidiness of his studio was something that often played on his mind, having left that morning asking you to remind him to tidy his studio up when he got home that night before he got on with any work, you knew your gesture would be a big relief for him.

You were so engrossed in tidying up Yoongi’s workstation, you had failed to hear the front door open, adding the finishing touches as he walked into the kitchen, going under the sink to look for bin bags, only to see that none were there.

His findings encouraged him to call out your name, however when he did, there was no response. He began to walk through the house in search of you instead, but when he found you walking around his desk, his body froze in the doorway of his studio.

“What are you doing?”

“Yoongi?” You questioned, following his eyes as he noticed the roll of bin bags on the floor beside the one that you had filled with rubbish. “I didn’t think you would be home this early, I still had a couple of things that I wanted to do.”

His head shook back at you as he walked into the room, embracing the fresh scent of the air freshener that you had sprayed, not to mention the clean floor that he could walk across without picking up a wrapper on the sole of his foot.

As he took it all in, you stood back with a smile, giving him some space. His heart was well and truly full as he looked around, with not a piece of rubbish in sight, Yoongi couldn’t believe the extent that you had gone to for him.

“Did you tidy all of this, for me?” He asked, extending his hand out for you to take as your head nodded back at him. “I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am that you’ve tidied this place, it’s been playing on my mind all day knowing that I had to come home and sort this place out before working on my song.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” you tried to argue.

However, it was to Yoongi. He couldn’t even begin to describe how big of a deal it was for him that you had done something so small. His studio had gotten out of hand, and yet you’d taken the time without any complaints to take back control of his comfort place.

“I know how important work is for you right now with comeback, and so I just thought I’d spend a bit of time tidying it up,” you informed him, “I sorted your desk out, but I hope I’ve not moved anything that I shouldn’t have done.”

“No,” he quickly confirmed, “whatever you’ve touched or moved, it’s perfect. I can’t even begin to describe how perfect this, or you, are to me right now.”

As you fell silent, you glanced across at Yoongi, noticing him looking to the floor. His hand quickly dabbed under his eye, bringing a smile to your face as you instantly knew what was going on and how much your gesture had touched him.

“Are you crying?” You asked him, squeezing gently onto his hand, “Yoongi all I’ve done is tidy this place up, you don’t need to get upset about it. Have I really done that bad of a job?” You teased, bringing a smile to his face.

“You’ve done the best job,” he assured you, “I’m only crying because I’m realising right now just how lucky I am right now to have you with me. No one has ever cared for me like this before, I don’t really know how to feel.”

You took a step closer towards Yoongi, moving your free arm around his waist, “maybe you could use these tears to come up with some good lyrics.”

As his arm moved around your waist too, his head shook, pulling you into his chest. Yoongi’s lips pressed to the top of your head several times as he continued to take in the newly clean environment that he found himself in.

“You’re the best,” he mumbled, “I mean it.”

In amongst all the chaos of work, you were the one constant that Yoongi could rely on to always keep him happy. Throughout the mess and the deadlines, the early mornings and the late nights, you were always there to support him, whether it was a quick good morning, a coffee on the side, or something special as cleaning up his studio.

“I just want to help you,” you smiled up at him, “the pressure that you must be under seems unimaginable to me, I wish that there was more that I could do to help you, tidying the studio was the least I could do really.”

As his grip tightened around you once again, you knew that Yoongi was more than thankful for what you had done. He wasn’t one to express his emotions often, but for something like this, he couldn’t quite keep himself together.

Despite you shrugging it off as no big deal, it would always be a big deal for Yoongi, something small could mean the world to him, as you had gone and proven.

“I can’t say thank you enough,” he added, “if you want to, maybe you could stay here for a while whilst I get some work done?”

You moved away from Yoongi’s chest so that you could meet his eyes, “won’t I be a bit of a distraction if you’ve got a song to work on?”

“Perhaps,” he agreed, “but I don’t think I want to be away from you right now. After what you’ve done, I just want to enjoy you and talk to you properly. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend recently trying to work on this comeback, I don’t deserve what you’ve done for me.”

You understood, whilst Yoongi often felt bad for how little time he was able to spend with you, you were more than aware of where he needed to be and were happy to let him go too.

“You’ve never been a terrible boyfriend Yoongi, this comeback needs you a lot more than I need you, and I know that I might have done this for you now, but whenever I next need you, you’ll be right there for me too,” you reminded him, “that’s how a relationship works, you don’t realise what you’re doing for me when you’re doing it.”

Yoongi’s lips pressed against your forehead, “you do more for me then you ever know, I’ll never be able to make what you’ve done for me today up to you.”

“You won’t know when you will, but I promise that you will.”

---

Masterlist

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aoitrinity · 3 years

Text

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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thestarsanctuary · 3 years

Note

kakegurui x reader who is very clingy (platonic but all the girls are like kinda into her) and she’s always either following Yumeko around or fiddling with one of Midari’s guns. The one shot can be when the reader geta called out for it and feels like she’s being too clingy so she tries to distance herself and all three kinda have to come together to figure out why reader is so sad? maybe an ending with protecc from the girls? Sorry for the long request!!

Once again- jesus this took forever so let me give you something good (I will try my best as per usual) and hope ya enjoy at least a little! My apologies again!

KAKEGURUI X F! READER (PLATONIC-ISH)

It was almost like a stop in your life. A pause. You had never noticed you had done it everyday, were you too much? Why did nonody tell you? And more importantly....how do you stop what you don’t notice yourself doing?

You had way too many questions because some random girl had walked up to you, randomly, and out of nowhere says,

“Hey you hang around those girls a lot huh? Don’t you think you’re a little too much? I mean I’ve never actually seen you without them. Ever.” She said, and it wasn’t even menacing, which means she truly meant it. That was even worse!

And when you think about it...she was oh so right.

Everyday, you went to school with Mary who would walk you with a scowl but let you hold her hand and talk her ear off all the way there. She would always say she wasn’t listening but would bring up something you said all the time surprising you. Then Midari would be waiting for you and hand you her arm and say “Let’s go gorgeous” with this sinister grin, and you’d play with her gun on the way to your first class, and then Yumeko would come and sit on your lap in class and let you hug her and the teacher never said anything because Kirari....oh god, you were so clingy.

And just like that your mood had dropped significantly, and nobody knew why but just tried to push it off.

“Maybe she’s having a bad day.”

“Got a bad grade on her exam!”

“Ah she didn’t have a good enough lunch?”

Any excuse they could come up with they used whichever came to mind first because they didn’t want to think you were truly upset.

And they didn’t want to have to come for whoever had made their darling so upset in the first place.

Until the next day came. Mary knocked on your door and you opened it with a forced smile that Mary chose to ignore, and she held out her hand with an annoyed look on her face as per usual but this time to you it felt so real.

I guess I am way too clingy.

That was the conclusion that you had came up with in your mind as you decided to ignore her hand and instead go for a more cheerful appearance to distract from your oh-so-obvious swatting of her hand.

She still walked with you but the look on her face was different. It was more narrow and almost looked like she was judging you or something, and you wondered if you had ever seen this look before in the back of your head.

When you go to the school Midari was as per usual waiting for you gun in hand, but you politely declined the offer of holding her gun as she wrapped her arm around yours. You wuickly took it off.

“Huh? What’s up with you gorgeous? Mary say something rude again? I truly don’t understand why you don’t let me take you-

“No! No I’m uh, I’m fine! I was just having...cramps! In my fingers...yeah...they are absolutely terrible!” You said quickly with a smile. Midari grinned and rubbed your head with her gun.

“Alrighty then sweetheart, did you not want to go to class then? I can let Kirari tell your teach you won’t be there ya know” she grinned at you, with her usual amount of playfulness seeping through. You waved your hand and walked into your classroom without saying goodbye. How odd.

Midari called Yumeko outside, you thought she was probably weeping for Yumeko’s attention again and didn’t think anything of it. But oh boy were you wrong. As Yumeko sat on your lap, you took notes vigorously and tried to shift and move her off, and she must’ve gotten the hint because she did. Yumeko whispered in your ear,

“I thought your hands were cramping?” She said, and you almost jumped because you realized how badly you had screwed up.

“O-oh yeah! But I need to take notes for this class Koko, you know that.” You brushed it off and she nodded her head innocently before going back to not paying attention. Or so you thought, but she obviously saw that you lied to her. Who could get past her?

After class you and Yumeko were called to the President’s room. You walked in and saw Kirari, Midari, Yumemi, Mary, Sayaka, Yuriko, everybody. It honestly overwhelmed you because you had wanted to touch them so bad. It was how you showed love but now you were basically forcing yourself to look at the ground.

“Now now, come over here y/n, we have to talk to you.” Kirari said and you knew, you had been figured out. There was a new seat for you and Kirari to sit in so you sat by her side trying not to touch her, however her scent and basically everything about her made it difficult. Especially with her putting her arm around you and trying to make you hug her. So in the end, you basically gave up. Who were you to resist?

“Is there a reason the girls are saying you’ve been lying and avoiding them all day or do we jut have to make a public announcement to find out who’s been talking to you?” She said softly. So softly you honestly almost cried. You had basically avoided all contact with the girls and given them no explanation, you felt terrible.

“I’m sorry!! It’s just- I realized how clingy I’ve been with you all and I never even asked if you were okay with it. I’m like some leech and I’m always hanging onto you guys and it feels like I’m not doing anything but being annoying anymore.” You ranted, not trying to look any of them in the eyes but you could see their eyes soften just a little when you finally did look up with glossy eyes.

“Ok. Listen. If any of us didn’t like it we would tell you and the freaking president herself wouldn’t even let you in here- let alone get a WHOLE NEW CHAIR for you to be able to hug her on. We all enjoy it and understand that it’s how you show that you like and care for us. Friends just know moron. Who told you this because I don’t believe you came up with this ridiculous theory of sorts on your own.” Mary announced as she stood up from her seat, tired of staying quiet.

“...well...I don’t know who but, I understand. That didn’t make sense anyways huh?” You giggled and hugged Kirari, instantly brightening the mood as she wrapped her arm around your waist.

“Well we’ll need to find out who immediately, we can’t exactly let whoever it was think they know better than us can we?” Yumeko said with a smile, as the other girls nodded.

Yeah, this was how it will always be.

EL FIN.

brooo that endings trassshhh. Anyways my fingers hurt so bad because I’ve been writing (not just this) for like an hour no break my fingers are buring, anyways sorry for the TERRIBLE wait so so sorry but I hope you enjoy!

-SS

#kakegurui x y/n #kakegurui midari #kakegurui x reader #kakegurui #midari x reader #kirari x reader #yumeko x reader #mary saotome x reader #yumemi yumemite #kakeguri yumeko #kakegurui xx #yumeko jabami #mary satome #kirari momobami

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imagineaworld · 3 years

Text

jealous | b.b

pairing : bucky barnes x reader, steve rogers x reader (platonic)

summary : bucky gets jealous of steve

word count : 1.5k

warnings : angst n fluff

Bucky watched from across the gym as Steve was training Y/N. He watched the way Steve put his hands on her body, guiding her movements. He watched the way they laughed together, each laugh felt like it was directed at him.

Not able to bear the sight of them together any longer, he abruptly got up and made a swift exit from the gym.

Bucky hated feeling this way. But he and Y/N were close, and perhaps his feelings had gone beyond just friendly. Clearly, though, Y/N and Steve liked each other. Bucky thought he was no competition for Captain America, as much as it pained him to see Y/N with Steve, at least she seemed happy.

After a shower and a change of clothes, Bucky was feeling better and headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Y/N was sat at the island, munching on some toast as she scrolled through her phone.

“Hiya, Buck,” she beamed, happy to see him.

“Hey, doll,” he said back, glad to have some time alone with her.

He poured himself a cup of hot coffee, offering to pour Y/N one.

“Ooh, yes please.”

He poured her a cup, using her favourite mug with a photo of a boyband along the side. He slid the cup across the island to her before taking a seat next to her.

“Oh, the One Direction mug!” She laughed. “You’re the best, thank you.”

His heart fluttered as her soft laugh rang through him.

For a while, he had thought about telling her about his feelings. But he worried that she wouldn’t feel the same and that he would ruin their friendship by making things awkward. He was reminded of the main reason he wouldn’t tell Y/N about his feelings when Steve walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, Bucky, Y/N,” Steve greeted. “Great session today Y/N.”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I’m getting better, no?”

Steve laughed. “You’re doing great.”

Bucky’s mood had changed. He shot glares at the back of Steve’s head as he poured a glass of orange juice. Please leave, don’t sit down, Bucky willed.

Y/N nudged Bucky with her arm. He stopped shooting daggers at Steve’s head, looking down at the phone screen Y/N had tilted towards him. On the screen was a picture of a cat, all black apart from its left arm, which was white.

“It’s you as a cat,” Y/N grinned.

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, forgetting all about Steve’s presence across from them.

“Let’s see,” Steve piped up. Y/N held her phone up to show him. “It looks just like you, Buck,” he laughed.

Suddenly the cat wasn’t funny anymore. Bucky drained his coffee and got up. Dumping his mug in the sink, he stalked out of the kitchen. His and Y/N’s inside joke had been imposed on by Steve, again. He did it before when Y/N had tried to play Bucky a song by that boyband she likes, and Steve had come in and started talking over the song about how he knew the words.

Bucky just wanted to punch something (well, someone, but that would get him in trouble). He wasn’t entirely sure why he was so angry. Perhaps he was angry that Steve had interrupted them. Or maybe he was angry that Y/N was close with Steve. Deep down, he was angry at himself for thinking anyone would choose him over Steve.

Things only got worse. In an attempt to cast out his jealous feelings, he distanced himself from Y/N and Steve. The only problem was, the more he pushed Y/N away, the closer he pushed her to Steve.

"Hey, you," Y/N sauntered into the lounge one afternoon, where Bucky was sat reading. "Wanna go for a walk?"

The sun beamed down outside, hot and bright. Even the open windows Bucky sat beside couldn't cool him down. A walk sounded perfect, but he couldn't bear to be around her for that long.

Instead, he waved his book in the air, not even looking up at her. "Wanna finish this today, sorry."

"That's alright, I'll ask Steve then," Y/N said, seeming a little disappointed. "When you finish it, I can lend you one of my favourites, if you're interested."

"Maybe," Bucky said through gritted teeth. Of course, she would ask Steve. And of course, Bucky was interested in her favourite book, but he couldn't put himself through that.

He finally looked up to see Y/N heading off to find Steve, desperately wishing he'd said yes but too stubborn to change his mind.

That evening, Bucky avoided everyone at dinner, opting to stay in his room in peace. A knock on his door disturbed that peace, but he answered the door nonetheless.

"Hey, Buck," Steve said, hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Can we talk?"

Bucky shrugged, stepping aside to let Steve in, who sat down on the bed. Bucky sat beside him. "What's up?"

"That's what I was gonna ask you," Steve said. "You've been acting...different. And not just with me, Y/N mentioned you've been different to her too."

His attempts to distance himself truly had driven Y/N closer to Steve. If she was confiding in him, talking to him about her problems instead of Bucky... He really had dug his own grave.

"Didn't know you and Y/N were so close," Bucky said impassively.

"We're friends, Buck. And you're my best friend. She just wanted to know if she'd done anything to upset you."

Bucky shook his head. "Nope."

"What about me?" Steve asked.

"Not a thing."

Steve sighed, as though he could tell Bucky was lying. "Okay, buddy, I'll leave you be. Just... talk to Y/N, alright? She thinks you're upset with her."

Bucky took a deep breath as he knocked on Y/N's door.

Her eyes lit up when she answered the door to Bucky. "Hey," she smiled.

"I finished my book, and thought I'd take you up on your offer," he said.

Y/N raised her eyebrows. "You didn't seem keen earlier. It's fine, I won't be offended if you're not interested."

"I am," Bucky blurted. "Very interested."

"Come in," Y/N stepped aside, closing the door behind Bucky.

Her room was tidy, scattered with house plants and photos. On her little coffee table by her sofa, next to a pile of books that obviously couldn't fit on her full shelves, was a picture frame. Bucky picked it up, observing the photo of him and Y/N, smiling at the camera on the beach. It had been taken a few months ago when everyone went on a day trip.

"I didn't know you had this," Bucky said, smiling to himself as Y/N searched her bookshelves for the novel.

"Oh," she said. "Yeah, I really like that picture. Never seen you so happy."

It was true that Bucky had never been as happy and carefree as he was that day at the beach. He and Y/N had played frisbee and built sandcastles. Y/N had even convinced him to go in the sea, though he only went to his waist. Y/N however had gone all the way, swimming under waves and splashing Bucky when he wouldn't go any further.

Bucky put the picture down as Y/N handed him a book he had heard of before, but never read.

"It's one of my favourites, plus it's not too long so," Y/N said. "I'm sorry if I upset you, by the way."

Bucky shook his head. "You didn't, I've just... not been doing well lately."

"I get it, I just wanted to apologise in case. I'm always here for you, you know? If you wanna talk."

Hearing Y/N say that made Bucky feel exhilarated. It also made him realise, no matter how hard to tries to repress his feelings for her, they wouldn't go away.

"Thank you," Bucky said softly. "I'm here for you too."

Y/N looked deep in thought for a moment, as if debating saying something. "These past few weeks made me realise how much I enjoy spending time with you. And thinking I had upset you made me feel... horrible. You really mean a lot to me."

Without thinking too much, Bucky pulled Y/N into his arms, wrapping them around her body. She wrapped hers around his neck, pushing up onto her toes so she could reach. The scent of her shampoo filled his nose as he took a deep breath.

"It's my fault," Bucky said, still hugging Y/N. "I pushed you away because I'm jealous and I don't think I'm good enough."

"Good enough for what?" She asked gently.

"You."

Y/N pulled away, holding Bucky's shoulders as his hands rested on her waist. "Are you kidding?" She demanded. "Don't ever say that. Why would you even think that?"

"I'm not Steve," Bucky said, eyes cast downward, unable to look her in the eye.

"You're jealous of Steve? I don't want Steve," she said. "I want you, Bucky. Just the way you are. All the good and all the bad. That's what it means to love someone: knowing they aren't perfect, but loving them anyway."

"You want me?" He asked, bewildered.

Y/N nodded. She pushed up on her toes again, this time to connect their lips. She kissed softly and gently, and Bucky couldn't help but smile as she pulled away.

"Now, go read my book," Y/N laughed.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky barnes au #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #the winter soldier #the winter solider imagine #the winter solider x reader #Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine

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