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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 3 years

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Corruption & Trust

Stormbringer and bsd spoilers in general ahead so read at your own risk!!

So in this post I will be listing all the times Chuuya used corruption and all the times Dazai was there to stop it. I will also go into depth as to why Chuuya trusts Dazai when it comes to having to use corruption and I will also emphazise on Dazai's care and how he takes corruption seriously.

1. First time using corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old

"Isn't it an unpleasant sight, Chuuya."

It was a young boy. This young boy casually caught hold of Chuuya's arm and lifted it up. With this movement, the gravitational field which had occured around them disappered immediatly. As well as Chuuya’s agony.

"Y...You..."

"You can't even die gracefully can you?" the young boy said in a raspy voice as he heaved Chuuya on his shoulders. He set off to walk.

Alright so this was the first time Chuuya's corruption was ever activated, after Dazai nullifies it and carries Chuuya on his back, he drops him off outside the bar were Chuuya's friends lay dead. He took him there instead of taking him directly to the port mafia quarters.

Why did he do that exactly? If Dazai doesn't care for Chuuya, then why did he give Chuuya the opportunity to pay farewell to his dying friends?

It's actually sort of funny because I don't really think Dazai really realizes or accepts that he feels a certain connection with Chuuya and therefore looks after him.

2. Second time using Corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old (obviously, its still the same light novel lol)

After losing his strength, Chuuya drifted in the air for a few seconds, then lost the black wings on his back and slowly fell.

Dazai caught his body.

From the spot where Dazai touched, the nulification skill was activated.

The self-contradictory skill that supports the energy of the singular point receded, and the output of the singular point decreased. Eventually, it converged and the "gate" closed. The red imprints disappeared from Chuya's whole body. Eventually, the gravitational field disappeared and the complete silence was restored.

“Good job, Chuuya." Dazai chuckled, looking at Chuuya he was holding in his arms. "I forgot to bring my ink pen, so I'll spare you from having your face scribbled."

As much as it looks like this is from a fanfiction, I can assure you that it's an actual passage from stormbringer.

I can't really say much except the fact that Dazai is being extremely soft here.

And this was the conversation Dazai and Chuuya shared beforehand:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right? the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

After this exchange, Chuuya does decide on using corruption. I have talked about this section on a previous post of mine, and I just love it so much. For starters, I think this conversation that these two shared is very important to their characters.

For Chuuya, it shows us how undeniably selfless he is. He would rather save the people of Yokahama instead of finding out something that meant a lot to him. He sacrificed his own desires to save the people he cares about.

For Dazai its a completely different story, in this exchange Dazai was able to openly express genuine concern for his partner. He also understands the gravity of the decision Chuuya has to take and therefore leaves the decision up to him.

Third time using corruption: Dragon's Head Conflict

Chuuya and Dazai' s age: 16 yrs old

During this one, Chuuya demands to know where his friends are, and Shibusawa says all six of them killed themselves after being caught. Enraged, Chuuya activates Corruption which ultimatley ended the 88 day conflict.

There isn't much to say about Dazai and Chuuya here since there isn't really an aftermath on this occasion but I bealive this picture is enough.

Before reading the DA manga, I genuienly thought that the only time Chuuya ever rested on Dazai's lap was when they were 22 but this proved me wrong.

I mean this is a minimal thing to point out but if Dazai disregarded Chuuya he would've just left him there, right? But instead he remained with Chuuya and allowed him to rest on his lap, in the picture you can also see he is putting Chuuya's hat back on. It's such a simple gesture but it shows us how caring Dazai can be when it comes to Chuuya using corruption.

Fourth time using corruption: Lovecraft Battle, Double Black reunion

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22 yrs old

This is personally one of my favorite times in which Chuuya uses corruption. The fact that these two had not been working together for 4 years yet they still managed to not only accomplish their mission, but mantain their trust for one another.

I find what Chuuya says here extremely ironic because if anything, the choice has always been up to him. Dazai always uses corruption as a last-resort trick and its always Chuuya who makes the final decision of using it or not, even in a life or death situation Dazai won't take it upon himself to force Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not, and hes always willing to come up with an alternative plan in case Chuuya refuses. (an example of this is when Chuuya used corruption for the 2nd time in SB).

I think the reason as to why Dazai takes corruption extremely seriously is because during stormbringer he was the first person to even see Chuuya use corruption and also the person who understood how corruption will always be sort of like a burden to Chuuya, since it was thanks to corruption that his "am I human?" question stayed unanswered.

He knows how it feels to struggle with your own humanity and he doesn't want for Chuuya (who he literally sees as human), to hold that inner conflict with himself because of corruption.

Anyways, Chuuya decides to go through corruption trusting that Dazai will be there to nullify it.

And of course, Dazai does nullify it.

And after Dazai nullifies corruption, we get this very touching moment between both of them.

This is the first time Chuuya openly admits to trusting Dazai, although it was always evident that he trusts him, I just love how open he is being here.

Also the light punch he gives to Dazai's chest is such a sweet gesture, I see it as a silent way for Chuuya to say "I trust you because after all this time I still see you as my partner."

Dazai's smile in that small pannel is one of the most genuine expression we have gotten out of him. What he says is also a very sweet, I love that he calls him partner. The fact that these two are literally in rival organizations yet Dazai still calls him partner, it shows us that even after all these years he still can't help but see him the same way as he has always done.

Actually in Japanese he calls him "Aibou" and from my understanding, when you use the term Aibou it's for someone who you consider yourself to be close with. It means "partner" like in english but it holds a deeper meaning. If Dazai used the word "nakama" it would have been a very diffrent story since it means partner as well but it isn't used for someone you share a significant connection with. Asagiri's play with words here says a lot.

Fifth time using corruption: Dead Apple

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22yrs old.

Of course I have to talk about one of the most iconic moments in the history of Soukoku.

Chuuya uses corruption to save Dazai, even if Ango says that he's dead for sure. Something I find very intresting here though is that Chuuya screams for Dazai while he is on corruption, he is obviously not supposed to be self concious about the whole situation, while on Corruption clearly he is not supposed to be in sane state of mind, as we all here know, Chuuya loses control and does not have the track of reality while under his own ability but this time, while using corruption, the one and only thing that was on his mind was "Dazai."

It wasn't only Chuuya who entrusted his life to Dazai, Dazai too entrusted his life in Chuuya's hands. When Dazai came up with this plan, he was more than certain that Chuuya was going to save him. And I think a tumblr blog pointed this out but when Chuuya uses curroption, he cannot control his strength, but when he had to punch Dazai he did it lightly, which is strange considering he was using curroption and it would've made a lot more sence if Dazai ended up decapitated due to being punched by a literal god. Dazai had to have faith in the fact that Chuuya will somehow be able to control corruption, even if its just a little bit.

Afterwards when Chuuya manages to rescue Dazai, Dazai gently touches his cheek to nullify corruption and greets him with, "You used Corruption believing in me? I am so touched I could cry." Chuuya groans, and replies that yes he did, that he believed in his disgusting vitality and craftiness.

When they both fall to the ground, Dazai forces Chuuya to rest in his lap because he didn't want to have to protect him from this situation since the fog is still up and Chuuya himself is all worn out and wouldn't be able to fight. But heres the thing, both Chuuya and Dazai's abilities can't be seperated by the fog. I mean Dazai's ability is nulification so it basically cancels out, and Chuuya hosts a literal god inside him so it isn't really an ability if you know what I mean.

So in reality, Dazai just wanted Chuuya to rest. Dazai could've literally just left Chuuya in the fog if he was only using him for his goals, but he was genuienly appreciating Chuuya's trust in him. The way Dazai's hand is resting on Chuuya's hair is a nice gesture too, he is greatful for him and he is moved that someone trusts him, it is shown throughout the Fifthteen and SB light novel that no one trusted Dazai and how most were afraid to even approach him. And in the ADA, everyone is somewhat warry around him (excluding Atsushi ofc). But Chuuya literally puts his life on the line trusting that Dazai will always be there to save him. He trusts him greatly and Dazai knows that, and I think its pretty clear to us that he would never want to break that trust.

The fact that Chuuya trusts Dazai even after he left the Port Mafia without an explanation or goodbye shows us how strong their bond is. Chuuya most likely trusts Dazai because deep down he knows that he isn't using Chuuya's ability out of his own selifshness, a part of him is aware that Dazai uses corruption as a last resort but he just doesn't want to admit it, and I feel like he also trusts him subconciously because of how gentle Dazai is after Chuuya uses corruption.

I really hope we get to see more of these "corruption moments" because in all honesty, these moments are the ones that bring out the most vulenrability for both characters. The moment corruption is used, we see the inmeasurable amount of trust and care these two have for each other that they won't show in other situations. During these times it always shines a very open and bittersweet light on their bond and I love it so much.

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ceciliablossoms · 3 years

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I just read the whiskey angst and i cried a bit 😭 can i request Fruit Punch + Absinthe after that the reader feel stressed and go for a walk outside but are attacked by Abiss Mages and seriously injured and Diluc / Childe / Kaeya is surprised when the reader return with a pathetic form but the reader don't want them to touch them pls 😭😭😭 REVERSE UNO

I genuinely wasn't expecting people to like that one enough to request a sequel. I originally had no intention of making a sequel but with so many people asking how can I not?

Haha.. I couldn't sleep again...

The Whiskey fic

TW: Mentions of Injury, Swearing, Self Hatred

Absinthe: “Get out of my sight! I don’t fucking want you here!”

Fruit Punch: “Why are you bleeding!? What the hell happened?!”

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Diluc

It had been several days since he had last seen them and honestly speaking the man was a mess. What he said hadn't fully sunk in until he finished his work and upon realising that he had made a severe error, a pit formed in his stomach.

He was extremely disgusted with himself. Nobody should ever talk to their significant other in such a way under any circumstances. Not only that but he had also called them a hindrance when they had only been trying to help him. Pathetic.

He ended up seeking them out, arriving at their small house in Mondstadt. He had approached their door as they were exiting their home. They visibly bristled.

As the days passed they wallowed less, sadness and dejection becoming anger. How DARE he have the AUDACITY to talk to them like that? To treat them as though they were holding him back?

“Get out of my sight! I don't fucking want you here!”

He didn't even flinch out their outburst. He deserved it, "I have... come to apologise for my actions. I-"

"Didn't mean it? Save your words. I don't wish to hear it." They pushed past him. "I'm going for a walk. Don't follow me."

He watched as they exited the gates, steam practically pouring from their ears. As much as he wished to apologise, craved to say that he was sorry, he was sure that they wouldn't have it. But, he sat on the stairs to their house regardless and waited for their return. Whether they would accept it or not he was still going to try to make amends.

He didn't know how long he sat there waiting but they still had yet to return. The worry had long set in, hitting its peak when there was a small commotion at the gate. They pushed past Swan, who was following after them in a panic.

They walked with a limp, blood seeping through the hand that clenched their shoulder tightly. A cut adorned their face from temple to jaw. It too was bleeding heavily.

Diluc approached them with haste, alerted by their state, "Why are you bleeding?! What the hell happened!?"

They pushed past him too as he reached out to them, "Don't.... touch me..."

Diluc glared at Swan as a way to tell him to go back to his post. He jumped but obliged nonetheless as Diluc began to follow after them. Grabbing their non-injured shoulder in his gloved hand, he tugged them gently to stop them from moving.

His tone was stern, "You do not have to speak with me nor do you have to accept my apology. But you will get those injuries tended to even if I have to drag you to the church myself."

They pulled themselves from his grip, out of breath and tired, "Why is it that you care? I'm but a hindrance remember. Even as we speak I am obstructing you."

"If those were my feelings I wouldn't be here. I don't expect forgiveness but I would still like to let you know that what I said doesn't define how I feel for you. That is of little importance right now. Your injuries need to be dealt with"

They said nothing, looking off to the side. Sluggishly they move towards their home again, quietly ushering for him to follow. "I have plenty of medical supplies of my own." They paused, "When my injuries heal, I expect an apology in full. And as for my trust... You'll have to work for it."

He was relieved. Their words suggested that there was a still a chance for him.

Tartaglia

It took him a while to calm down. After all, he did tend to brood on things until they festered. At first, he only got angrier. Angry that the cheater got away with it. Angry that they sided with the cheater. Angry that they helped the cheater.

He thought about it more though, and the more he rationalised the more he calmed down. They didn't really side with him, did they? They only helped him because he would have bled out had they not. As much as he wanted to beat the man's ass all over again, he let it slide. Killing him would be a waste anyway. Instead he would let the man's near death experience serve as a reminder.

When he was fully calm, he sought them out, their words echoing in the back of his head. 'Talk to me when you're fucking sane', they had said. Had his actions truly made them feel that way? Or was it in anger just as his words had been?

He checked Bubu Pharmacy first, seeing neither them nor the cheater. He assumed it was because the cheater was in the back getting treatment and that they had gone on their merry way. The search continued.

His hunt continued all across the harbour and he was unable to tell if they were going out of their way to avoid him or if he was looking in all the wrong places. Finally, he resorted to asking around, getting a couple tidbits of information from some Milileth.

He was told that they were seen exiting the harbour and that seemed extremely miffed. So retracing their steps, he left the harbour as well, following along the path that led toward Guili Plains.

He continued to follow the path until Wangshu Inn appeared in the distance and quietly pondered why they came out this far. Something seemed off though. Halting his movements, he scanned the area, sapphire eyes landing on a familiar silhouette sitting at the base of an apple tree.

He was unaware of how long they'd been sitting there when he approached, but there they were an apple in hand. They finished mid chewing and spoke after they swallowed the fruit in their mouth.

"Get out of my sight. I don't fucking want you here." Despite their icy tone, he knew that they weren't angry anymore. They did, however, want to be left alone though he did not oblige.

His eyes travelled to the blood that coloured the grass beneath them. There was a teasing edge to his voice as he tried to lighten the mood, "Why are you bleeding? What happened, hm? Get in a fight without me?"

Finding each other bloody was nothing new to either of them and playing it up was a game of sorts. An inside joke if you will. Most of the time he acted like a worried spouse for them and vice versa, but at this moment it was genuine worry. They scoffed.

"Yes, but unlike you, I don't try to kill men on the street."

He held up his hands in defeat before sitting down across from them, "Not gonna let me live it down, are you?"

They rolled their eyes, leaning their head against the tree trunk, "It happened a few hours ago. But you get a free pass because I don't have the energy to debate right now."

He moved to check their injury and they slapped his hands away with a quiet 'Don't touch me'. Yet he continued to eye it warily, staring at their face as if to ask permission. His gaze was gentle, genuine worry spread across his face. They caved after several minutes, looking away.

Pulling their shirt up to reveal the injury on their hip, it appeared as though they tried to cauterize it. With a sigh, he stood and held his hand out to help then up. After a moment of hesitation, they accepted his hand and immediately after they stood he crouched in front of them and signalled for them to get on his back. They obliged and he carried them back to the city.

"Don't think that this means I forgive you for what you said to me."

For once he didn't feel like teasing, knowing that it wouldn't help mend the situation, "I know. I do wish to apologise though. My words were... unnecessary. I took my anger out on you."

"Damn right." They patted his head, "Though if you're a good boy I might forgive you faster."

He sighed, fully aware that they were going to use him as an errand boy for the next few days.

Kaeya

He continued after their encounter as though nothing had happened at all. The silence that filled his office after they left was deafening but he took the time to finish his work. All of the paperwork that had piled up and all the tedious remedial tasks had been finished, the rest of his duties taken care of as well.

Days passed before he finally decided to confront them, and over that period his the guilt over his cruelty toward them festered. He was fully aware that they were trying to help, trying to make his workload lighter, yet he still snapped at them.

If he hadn't taken out his frustration on them then the two would be together right now. If he had just let them help will all of it then we would have gotten done much faster and gotten to relax much sooner. The stack they did do, however, was the biggest one from the piles which did shorten the time he was working. If only he hadn't scared them away.

He began his search for them at their home, finding it empty. Thinking for a moment, he began to check the usual places they went when they were upset. As he headed to Windrise it turned out that he didn't have to look far, for they were limping over the bridge that led into the city.

They were bleeding heavily from their chest, hand clutching the wound with unspoken panic. He rushed toward them, reaching out to support their body weight.

His voice was demanding, "Why are you bleeding?! What the hell happened?"

"It was just an Abyss Mage. Get out of my sight! I don't fucking want you here."

He knew he deserved their scalding words but that didn't stop him from trying. He held his tongue to stop a smart ass comment. Usually, he wouldn't hold back but he knew this wasn't the time.

"You may not want me here, but if you don't get some help you'll bleed out before you can make it to the cathedral." He spoke calmly despite his internal conflict, and they knew that he had a point.

Begrudgingly they leaned against him as he escorted them through town. Moving hurt as it aggravated their injury but it was necessary. As soon as they got inside the cathedral he called for Barbara who appeared around the corner. Her face contorted in horror as she escorted them to the infirmary.

Kaeya sat amongst the pews and waited, having an internal debate with himself. Would they forgive him? Would they even hear him out?

Hours passed before Barbara remerged with news of their condition. He could see them but they could not leave for a while. With caution, he entered, knocking on the door frame to get their attention.

They turned their head in his direction but scowled when they realised that it was him. "Do you need something?"

He hummed, "No but you do." Sitting on the edge of the bed, he took their hands in his, "I wanted to apologise. Both for what I said to you and for taking your kindness for granted."

They stared him down but say nothing but sincerity in his eyes, "I'm listening."

He was slightly caught off guard by their response, nevertheless though it made him happy. They fact that they were willing to listen showed that there was a possibility for forgiveness.

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celestialgaea · 3 years

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hello, noticed ur requests r open! is it okay if I could ask for a fic of Ezio/F!Reader with the theme of jealousy coming from Ezio? thank you if you accept my request! your works are amazing!

I have been wanting to fulfill this request for such a long time but I went through quite a rough period and I always felt the guilt of letting you wait linger upon me. I am so sorry for letting you wait. I have not forgotten you, your request was always in the back of my mind and I'm grateful for finally being able to write again!

I hope you enjoy the fanfiction!

(Request) Ezio Auditore x F!Reader // Jealousy

Warnings: (slight) mature content

Pairings: Ezio Auditore x (Female) Reader

summary: You are Leonardo's apprentice and have gotten the assignment to draw the naked male body from different perspectives. But when Ezio is paying a visit to Leonardo he doesn't seem very delighted with his lover drawing another man's private part.

You had underestimated the assignment. When Leonardo first told you about drawing a naked man you hadn't perceived the false comfort of your own assurance, who convinced you into thinking that seeing a fully bare stranger is nothing but the nature of a human being, as an illusion. Until the horrific scene of the young male, probably in his early twenties, slowly discarding himself off his clothes manifested itself behind a wooden changing screen.

Your mind kept replaying the former scene of the young male talking in slight shock to your maestro about how the apprentice was a women. A women that would create an image of his private part underneath the blunt end of her charcoal stick. During the open conversation, as the man was not ashamed of his shock whose cause leant more towards the fear of visible arousal than the mysogenistic side, his face and neck began to change into a more reddish skintone.

'Y/N,' Leonardo whispered, pointing towards his chest. 'Cover a bit of your chest, Ragazza. The poor man is quite...weak. I don't want you to get horrified.' You scoffed as you pulled up the fabric of the nightgown underneath your dress. 'Forgive me, maestro, for showing fertility.' You mocked. Leonardo shook his head, as if he were trying to remove his excessive thoughts to make more room for your shameless remarks. 'Ragazza, you know that I have no problem with your breasts, and i'm sure you know why, But this kid is as mature as the mosquitos that flied above Cleopatra's head during a scorching summer night. Be prepared that his "pride" might show itself."

Your heart began beating faster at just the mere thought of it, and the rustles of the male's fabric rubbing against each other as they fell onto the ground, entangled into one big flood of linen and leather, made his presence very clear and thus brought tension in the air that encircled you. 'Giovanni, Dannazione, are you almost done, boy? You're taking too long!' 'Maestro, no!' You whispered as annoyance took a hold of your voice. 'Ragazza, time is precious. And in these times of uncertainty I cannot lose any more.' And with that he turned his back to you and walked towards his desk not far away from your seat. You noticed how Leonardo's slouch has grown heavier over the past months, and his neck was more bent, as if it was bowing to his brain; the holder of his talent and geniusness.

Even though your eyes kept flickering through the various parchments filled with unfinished sketches and scrabbles you were still able to see the faint and disorted sillhouette of Giovanni walking from behind the changing screen towards the small wooden stage in front of you. His feet seemed humid as they loosened themselves from the floor with a sound similar to wallpaper being pulled away from a tacky wall. The boy slowly uncovered his private part, exposing a dark bush of intertwined curls, but when a knock on the door disturbed him he quickly covered himself again as the door was getting pierced by his anxious eyes. You regretted looking at it.

'Maestro, who is visiting?' You heard the sighs of parchment before Leonardo scurried towards the door.

'Ah. It's good to see you my friend!'

'It's good to see you too, mio amico.' The sonorous voice whose melodious words and promiscues groans swiftly danced towards you to embrace you in its tenderness was only able to come from one person only; Ezio Auditore. And it seemed that the young man wasn't fond of Ezio's presence.

'Maestro, I thought no one was allowed to disturb?' Giovanni's voice was a batter of shame and growing annoyance as he stood there with only his hands to cover his private part. Ezio glared at you. He saw you, he observed you, viewed you with spurned astonisment and the displeased look in his eyes made you grasp onto the understandment of why he was as fearsome as he was charming.

'I am unsure wether to turn to leonardo or you for an explanation, mia cara.' Leonardo had his hands up, almost touching Ezio's chest. 'Ezio, I have given her the assignment to draw a naked man.' 'Then why didn't you ask to draw me in nudity? There would be more flesh to capture than what that boy beholds.' Ezio surrenered himself uncontrollably to his impulses and attacked the poor Giovanni with his spit-filled words . 'Ezio, leave the boy out of this! He hasn't done anything and secondly; do not begin with the "Then why didn't you ask me", Because you know how scheduled you are. This is merely for educational reasons.' It felt sinful to get enraged with Ezio, but he had never behaved this attacking towards an innocent man. Along with his birth came his short temperance and even during the scorching season of maturing the searings left by his short temperance refused to heal.

'Educational purposes?' Ezio pulled at the leather skin of his gloves on top of his index finger as if he was planning on slapping the vulnurable model with it. 'Since when did looking at a cazzo become an educational enlightment?' The gloves were put on the table -Thank the Lord- together with his defected hidden blade. Ezio walked, no, he stomped towards a wooden chair that stood desolated in a corner collecting the flying dust and bits of dried paint that fell of a "failed", as the old man is still a perfectionist, da Vinci painting that towered above the chair.

Ezio let the chair ballance on its two front legs and allowed his dissatisfaction to guide his hand as it smacked the pieces of paint and dust particles off of its sitting surface. And how surprisingly odd it may seemed, you felt the muscles around your lower stomach contract in an ebb and flow that left trails along the flesh of your womanhood. He was angry, and so were you, and yet you felt aroused by him just uttering his jealousy to a lonely and motionless chair. For a few seconds you visualized those same rough hands whispering against the surrface of your weeping arse before turning them into a lovely shade of red. Ezio carried the chair and let its feet hit the ground next to you.

'Ezio, what are you intending to do?'

'Accompanying you.'

Oh, how he liked blending himself within the schemes of colours so his robes of red and white were the most appealing to look at.

'I do not need company. I'm doing very well on my own.' Ezio's fingers ran along your clothed thigh and gripped it sturdily. The lack of shame was transparant on him, removing the presence of Leonardo and Giovanni out of his realm of reality, as the humid warmth of his breath hugged your ear lobe.

'Ragazza, stop being hard-headed. I'm surprised that the boy is able to remain his excitement in custody. When I was his age,' 'Your cazzo had impregnated almost half of Firenze's youth. Not everyone is as rebellious as you were.' To your surprise, Ezio had remained silent. It seemed as though the sudden flare up of the middle aged consciousness had possessed him again and the teasing hand was removed from your thigh to fill in his crossed arms. His boyish teases were vanished. The man in his mid forties had appeared again; the outer corner of his eyes were folded into deepened curtains, the corners of his mouth were surrounded by the crescent-shaped smile lines which vitalized the apples of his cheek and if you looked at it with a certain view, not through the eyes of a classical artist, but through the eyes of a daydreamer, a madman, or a child you could play with the lines and follow it until his cheek slowly transfomed into a smooth segment of a rock being caressed by the spirals and curls of waves or maybe strands of hairs or whatever can be curly and spirally. Ezio grunted, focusing on the model, especially his croth area.

'Come one,' Ezio leant in to whisper in your ear, again.

'My cazzo is way more appealing to look at than his.'

'Ezio!'

#older ezio x reader #older ezio auditore #ezio auditore fanfiction #ac 2 fanfiction #ac 2 #assassins creed brotherhood #ac ii #ezio auditore da firenze

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xo-alie-xo · 3 years

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PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.

You can only choose one poison.🍷

Listen up my Wildcats.🐱

We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴

I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤

Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.

Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.

If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.

He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.

People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.

This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.

Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.

As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.

As for our Queen Gina

In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼

But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡

This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡

Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠

Here comes the Caswells.

Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.

Let's get to EJ.

At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.

Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.

I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.

I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.

Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.

If it's meant to be Rina endgame

EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠

Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬

If it's Portwell endgame.

Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.

EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.

As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.

As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚

As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.

EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.

They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.

But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽‍♀️

In short.

Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽‍♀️🚫

Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳

Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.

Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.

Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.

Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.

It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.

Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣

Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂

I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.

Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥

(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)

Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤

#hsmtmts #gina x ricky #rina #ricky bowen #gina porter #ricky x gina #portwell #ej caswell #jack hsmtmts #juffy #jonah beck #andi mack

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probably-haven · 3 years

Note

Hey dude?

First of all, I love your headcanons! And If ya don’t mind, would ya be interested in doing more Archon War Era Venti headcanons? I loved reading the ones you’ve written and I would love to read some more! If you want to that it, your choice.

God, I feel so awkward writing this like I’m not trying to be rude and demanding but it feels like I am and I’m not trying to but if it seems like that, just know that it’s not my intention and I’m just going to stop here beforeIembarrassmyselfokbye

thanks so much for the ask bestie! And don't worry about it, it was actually phrased really considerately, and even if it wasn't I'd still be happy because 1) human interaction and 2) archon war era venti ihjrgfvskerudhjfh But seriously you and the ask give off really good vibes, so i get the feeling ur kinda the type of person who deserves to let themselves be rude or demanding every once in awhile- don’t know why i felt the need to make that comment, but i did, so make of it what you will <3

anyway! enough good vibes, lets talk about war!!!!

but seriously, I’m always always happy to talk more about Archon War Era Venti, like- im literally making a playlist for it cuz inspiration. Like sure, I may run out of ideas eventually, but that just means i get to think of more! which is fun af too!

spoilers for Venti’s backstory

first i want to clear something up from my last post. I mentioned the four winds in one or two of my points, but upon doing more research, I've discovered that the four winds weren't a thing until Vanessa's time, which was after Venti's 1000 year sleep so i'd like to adjust the imagery

this small pitiful looking wind sprite, newly having become a god, so small that no other god would possibly even consider it a threat, most having massive forms to display their power. But as opposed to physical strength, Venti is a being of raw elemental power.

In the first part of the war there would come whispers of great storms, hurricanes, tornados, blades of wind that scourged the land, picking up flames, turning waters, channeling lightning, carrying freezing cold, turning the elements of the gods against them. And these storms happened completely by themselves. And they grew wary. Decarabian never left Mondstadt so could he have gotten strong enough to attack from even within it’s barrier. And then came the rumors, songs carried on the wind of a revolution, and a new name begun to be feared “Barbatos.”

An unknown god, conquerer of Decarabian, known now for attacking those Divine beings who used their power to oppress others, all from within the walls of Mond, for as he had never been seen then surely his power was so great he didn’t even need to show up in person.

It was said that when you heard his song that was your final chance- to run, to escape before the winds caught you in their current, erasing all that ever was to your memory except the song on the wind. Sure, running would separate you from the civilization that gave you your strength, but for some unknown reason, Barbatos never target the vulnerable mortals left behind, so for a time, you could keep your power.

There were multiple records from mortals of their (weaker by comparison) gods being caught in the winds, swept up high into the sky where the one sided battle between god and nature raged on, until ultimately they would see it, the unmistakable wave of destructive force that came with the death of a god, far enough away so as to not reach the people below. And when a god was too strong, the city would be encased in a wind barrier, shielding them from the explosion of divine misery

And when all was said and done, a boy in green would enter the city, singing songs of the battle on his Lyre. He came to be recognized as a herald to Barbatos of sorts, and the people would often times attempt to shower him with offerings, but the people had suffered and did not have much. “I am just a bard,” he would insist as they asked for his name in reverance. “But if you have apples and wine, then gather them and the people in the center of town. Freedom is something to be celebrated after all, is it not?”

And the people would relish in their newfound freedom, the ‘nameless bard’ celebrating with them as his friend never got to, and he would play one final song before vanishing into the night, retreating to mondstadt “Fly, fly away. Like a bird in the sky. See the world on my behalf. To the heavens may you fly”

Rarely was Venti ever actually in the city of Mondstadt though. He had seen first hand the destruction that the death of a god could cause, and if he were to be ambushed, he would prefer that it happened on the outskirts, where his people would not be harmed by the destruction left in the battle’s wake.

However, he would be upfront with the people of Mond, explain to them of the archon war, what he was doing to other tyrant gods, and the danger of ambush- and only with their agreement, when he went out to fight, to liberate, he would raise a protective wind barrier until he returned. It pained him to do so- but he had already lost his closest friend, and he knew it would pain him more to return and see his friend’s legacy destroyed. If the people of Mond didn’t agree- then... well shit, i guess he got lucky. But I think that Venti would be close enough with them for them to see the difference between these wind barriers and those of the old god of storms.

actually- im leaving that there, but let me revise that-

Venti- being one of the very first to give out visions. Not caging his people for their protection as Decarabian had done before, but instead arming them with the ability to defend themselves. He would set up the basis of the wind barriers to aid in their protective power, but only Barbatos’s chosen could raise and lower them as they please, and they were a force to be reckoned with. It’s one of the main reason’s Venti became so fond of the “riptide of mortal blood” saying because of the alternate meaning it had when applied to his own people.

But there were times when a god was too strong- could not be separated from their people- and there would be nothing he could do to spare them. So he would remain on the battlefield, enter as the unknown bard, and make his way to the center, playing his song as he walked- and he would stay until the wind had freed every one of their chained spirits(think stanley), until he was sure that the song would not be lost, however long it took. He was one of the very few gods who actually had any remorse for the mortal lives lost, and he would mourn their lost life, the things that they could have done had he not failed them. And this was all he could do, so insignificant, but he knew it was necessary, for if he did not do this for them, no-one else would because unlike the others, he had seen the potential of mortals first hand and often couldn’t help but think- had his friend survived, perhaps the people of this society’s song could have been saved. It was during one such song where he was discovered by the yaksha Alatus.

More Archon War Era venti headcanons: one two four

#genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin venti #genshin barbatos #nameless bard #genshin xiao #genshin alatus #archon war #archon war era venti #angst #genshin angst #genshin theory #genshin lore #venti angst #venti headcanons #spoilers #genshin spoilers

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everlarkficexchange · 3 years

Text

On the Other Side of the Fence

Prompt 13: Katniss is “just one of the guys” and the only girl in school who’s never been asked for a date by any of these guys. One day she’s “discovered” by a modeling agency and whisked to the Capital. She returns 3-months later with a new look, new found confidence, and cash. How will Peeta deal with the new Katniss and all the attention she gets from everyone? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Author: @jhsgf82

Rated: T

Word Count: 5,713

Author Note: In-Panem AU, no games. The class distinctions between Seam and Merchant are still there but aren’t quite as prominent, so Seam and Merchant sometimes hang out together; although, some folks do still have prejudices. Also, Mr. Everdeen is alive! So, this became more about the childhood love story between Katniss and Peeta than the modeling, at least this part, but I hope you still enjoy my take on this prompt. This will be a Part 1 of 2, and it will be posted on A03 under my account as well as on the EFE A03 collection page. Edit by @mrspeetamellark. Thank you, thank you! I love the fan casts for older K and P!

P.S. I’ve been listening to Ruelle’s “I Get to Love You” quite a bit while writing this, and it’s giving me major Everlark feels, particularly for this story, so let’s call it the theme song for this fic.

Part I

Peeta’s POV “Wait up, Katniss!” Peeta chased after Katniss as fast as his skinny twelve-year-old legs could carry him.

But Katniss Everdeen was like a bird, free-spirited and not to be caged, and when she set her mind to something, more than likely, she was going to do it.

Peeta loved that about her.

Today, Katniss had gotten it into her pretty head to climb to the top of the apple tree in his backyard. When she’d found out his mother wouldn’t be home, she’d thought it’d be the best time.

They played in secret, for Peeta’s mother had clearly expressed her dislike and distrust of Seam kids, plenty of times. Merchant Circle kids and Seam kids didn’t usually interact, but Peeta had no problem with those from the Seam, and he especially loved being around Katniss. He didn’t see the big deal, honestly. So what if they lived on the outskirts of town? So what if they didn’t have as much money‒Peeta was used to eating stale bread and leftovers, anyway. Not to mention, Katniss and her father’s squirrels had made many a dinner for his family. He wondered if his mother knew where they came from, for it was always his father or him who did the trading.

Peeta didn’t get to see Katniss as often as he would like‒he was almost always stuck at the bakery, and rarely unsupervised‒but times with her were his favorite times. Sometimes they were alone, which he preferred, but other times, they hung out with her small group, consisting of Thom, Gale, and occasionally, her sister, Primrose.

As if his life (or hers) depended on it, Peeta raced to catch up to Katniss. She was already three or four branches up when he made it to the tree. Unfortunately, he was running so fast that he didn’t stop quick enough, and��Thwap! He smacked his head against a low branch.

“Peeta!” gasped Katniss from her perch. “You okay?!”

“Fine!” he called up. He rubbed his forehead, feeling like a complete idiot. It smarted a bit, but his pride was far more wounded.

As if preparing her, Peeta shouted, “I’m coming up!” And then he reached out for the lowest, sturdiest-looking branch he could find. He wasn’t quite sure how this would work. He’d never climbed a tree before, and it looked tough. Katniss was small and nimble, but he was bulkier. He wasn’t completely uncoordinated, but he was much better at lifting things than doing anything requiring agility or balance. Even so, he had to try. And so, he found his footing and pushed himself up.

Turned out, his upper body strength (from lifting sacks of flour) came in handy in getting him up the tree. But there were two problems: One, his footing. And two, the relatively young apple tree wasn’t quite liking his size, and some of the thinner branches were bending under his weight.

“You’re almost there, Peeta,” urged Katniss, and all he could see was her encouraging smile. He reached out to take her hand for a boost but felt his shoe slipping against the bark. And then, his body weight and that thing called gravity were pulling him downward…

“Peeta!” shrieked Katniss as she reached out desperately for his hand.

But in those few seconds, Peeta knew he couldn’t grab hold. Katniss may be strong for her size, but she was tiny, definitely not strong enough to hold him up. If he did grasp her hand, he would surely drag her down with him, and he would never put her in danger.

Peeta dropped to the ground, left foot first, a sharp, white-hot pain shooting up his leg on impact. He groaned and fell flat on his back, his head smacking hard against the ground.

Katniss was down the tree in a heartbeat, kneeling beside him. A bright light silhouetted her; she looked like an angel. Was he dead? Or dying maybe? If so, hers was the last face he wanted to see…

“Peeta! Peeta! Peeta, are you okay?” cried Katniss. She was touching his shoulder and chest only as if she was afraid to go near his leg.

He murmured something and reached out to try and touch her, but his head was spinning and his vision was blurring.

Amidst the excruciating pain and confusion, he heard her muttering, “Oh no, oh no, what do I do?!” And then, she started to cry.

No, no, no. This was no good, at all. He couldn’t deal with Katniss crying. He probably had a broken leg; he didn’t need a broken heart, also.

“Don’t…” He attempted to reach for her again, and this time, he felt her take his hand in both of hers and rest it against her face, her tears wetting it. There was a persistent ringing in his ears, and then he passed out.

While he was unconscious, Peeta dreamed of Katniss‒of the first time they met. They were five years old.

Katniss’s father brought her by the bakery to trade, and while their dads were talking, he played with her. At first, she was shy, only peering out at him from behind her father’s legs, but he managed to convince her to come out.

She wore a red plaid dress, and her hair was in two braids. He’d seen her earlier that day in school‒his father had pointed her out to him and told him how he’d wanted to marry her mother but she’d run off with a coal miner (this coal miner, with the singing voice that made bird’s stop to listen)‒and he’d heard her sing. Her voice was every bit as lovely as they said her father’s was.

Once he got her to come out, they talked a little and ended up chasing one another around the bakery. Of course, his mother wasn’t home that day.

In retrospect, Peeta had been a goner for Katniss from the start, completely mesmerized by her singing voice and her beautiful gray eyes, which he got a closer look at in the bakery. Then there was her smile, which she didn’t give freely, but when she did, it was so worth the wait. She didn’t talk much, but he’d been able to get her to laugh that day in the bakery, and the noise, much like her singing, was music to his ears. Oh, and her braids‒he’d always been really fascinated by her braids.

Before she left the bakery, Peeta couldn’t help leaning forward and smacking his lips against Katniss’s, just to see what it would be like. He’d seen people kiss before, even his parents, though not often. It was weird when his mom and dad did it, but he liked it better than when they yelled at each other.

To his surprise, kissing Katniss wasn’t bad or weird. He liked it. And he wanted to try it again, someday.

After the kiss, Katniss’s cheeks were reddened, and she turned away from him, dashing back behind her father. He was so afraid he’d done the wrong thing and that she’d hate him forever, but when they went to leave, she smiled and waved at him.

Peeta came to with a start, jerking around and whimpering as he clutched at his throbbing leg. He realized he was in his bed, though he didn’t know how he’d gotten there. Also, he wasn’t alone‒Mrs. Everdeen was at his side.

“Peeta, honey, lie still. I have to set your leg,” Katniss’s mother spoke in her soft, doctor-like voice. She was a healer. He assumed Katniss must have gotten a couple of boys or a man, maybe her dad or his, to carry him to his room after his fall.

But where was Katniss? And was his dad here?

Before he could look around for them, Mrs. Everdeen told him she was going to give him some medicine to take away his pain. She injected him with something, morphling, he heard her say, and instantly, he felt his entire body relaxing. He looked over, then, to see Katniss entering his room and approaching his bedside, followed by her father. Her arms were folded, and her forehead was all scrunched up like how it got when she was really worried. Her eyes were puffy, too, and her cheeks were stained with tears; she’d definitely been crying.

Peeta raised his head and tried to smile and say something reassuring. “Kat…it’s…o-” But his words trailed off as a strange, dizzy feeling overtook him, and his head dropped back onto his pillow. Katniss came over and took a seat next to him, slipping her small hand into his.

This is nice, he thought.

But the euphoric feeling was quickly broken by his mother’s loud voice as she barged into his room. Uh oh.

His mother discovering the Everdeens in their home was bad news. She basically hated all the rest of them as much or more than Katniss, especially Katniss’s mother. Maybe it was because his dad used to love her?

“What’s this?! What have you done, you stupid creature?!” his mother screeched at Katniss.

Peeta’s eyes shot to his best friend who immediately dropped his hand. He saw the look on her face; her cheeks had gone reddish, and her eyes were filling with tears, which she was clearly fighting back. She looked scared, upset, and angry.

Just another reason for him to hate his mother.

“Katni…” Peeta tried to say her name, to comfort her, but his words caught in his scratchy throat.

He tried again, but he was cut off.

“Listen here,” Mr. Everdeen’s voice boomed, loud and clear, “you will not speak of my daughter that way! I won’t allow it. My wife has been kind enough to help your son, so show some respect to my family.”

That should shut his mother up, Peeta imagined. Mr. Everdeen might be a friendly, quiet man most of the time, but he could be intimidating. So, Peeta didn’t expect his mother would say another word.

Mr. Everdeen placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Honey, fix up Peeta, then we’ll be on our way,” he said softly.

Peeta’s mother was silent after that; in fact, he thought she might have left the room. But he was in and out of consciousness, and next thing he knew, it was dark, and he was waking up in his bed with only his father beside him.

Groggily, Peeta asked, “Where’s Katniss?”

“She’s at her house, son,” his father replied, tucking his covers nearly up to his chin. “You should get some rest.” And with that, he was left alone in the darkness.

Peeta recalled his brothers stopping in briefly, and then his mother. He imagined she only cared about him being injured because it might hinder his work at the bakery. He was sure she’d still give him plenty to do, though. What did she care if he was in pain doing it?

His mother was mainly condescending, railing on him for being so stupid, which he expected and accepted, but what really made his blood boil was when she set in on Katniss.

“That’s why you don’t play with Seam children,” she chided, casting him a dark look. “They’re wild heathens with no regard for rules or safety.”

They’re kids, Mother‒just like me. They just want to play and have fun. They don’t want anyone to get hurt.

What his mother said next lanced his heart. “I forbid you to see that girl anymore.”

Peeta squeezed his fists beneath the covers. She really cared nothing for him, did she? Of course, if his mother didn’t care that he had a broken leg, why would she care if forbidding him from seeing Katniss ripped his heart out?

But it didn’t matter. There was no way he was going to stop seeing Katniss; nothing his mother, or anyone, could say or do would ever stop him.

Katniss snuck into his room later that night. She must have climbed the tree next to his window and crawled through. She was next to his bed rousing him before he even realized what was happening.

At her touch, Peeta woke. “Katniss, what are you doing here?” he hissed, trying to sit up.

She held out her hand as if to stop him. “I brought these for you, from my mother,” said she, handing him a small package. “Medicine for the pain and a salve for the inflammation. Instructions are inside.”

“Thanks.”

It sounded like the delivery came from her mother, and he didn’t think Katniss would have taken the items on her own without permission‒mainly because she probably wouldn’t have known what to take or what to do‒but he doubted she had permission to be here this late. He glanced at the clock. It was nearly 11 PM.

“Are you okay?” she asked, fidgeting with her fingers.

“Yes.”

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.”

“I’m so sorry.” He could see her eyes glistening in the moonlight. Was she going to cry again?

“It’s not your fault, and hey, it probably earned me some time off at the bakery. So, thanks.”

Most likely, he wouldn’t get any time off, though. Or, if he did, it wouldn’t be much. His mother would probably have him back to work as soon as he could move, but Katniss didn’t need to know that. He tapped her playfully on the nose, and she laughed a little.

“Katniss, thanks for bringing the medicine, but you better go. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Peeta sighed. He didn’t actually want to send her away; he wanted her to stay with him, forever.

Rather than listening to him, though, she did the exact opposite‒she pulled back the covers and climbed into bed with him.

Wow. Were wishes being fulfilled tonight?

Okay, so, Peeta had just discovered the absolute best medicine for any of his ailments‒having Katniss Everdeen in his arms.

“Am I hurting your leg?” she asked as she tentatively snuggled in closer.

“Not a bit.” He smiled. “That’s my good leg.”

“You sure? I could move.”

“Don’t you dare move,” he said, wrapping his arms completely around her and holding her in place. He kissed the top of her head. For a moment, he wondered if he shouldn’t have done that. They had only shared that one kiss when they were 5, and it had never been brought up since. She probably didn’t think anything about kissing him, anyway.

“Okay, good,” she said, shutting her eyes and resting her head and a hand on his chest.

He looked down at her. She looked so peaceful and seemed close to falling asleep, but he shouldn’t let that happen. If his mother found Katniss here in the morning, in his bed, they were both toast!

But it was too nice having her here, and he wanted to enjoy it for a little while longer. He took the chance to play with her braid, like he’d always wanted to, and she let him. It had just become his new favorite thing to do. Katniss always wore her hair this way, except for a couple of times when she had it down, and Peeta loved her braid. But he was also kind of curious to run his fingers through her hair while it was down. He imagined it would be so soft and silky.

“Peeta,” he heard her murmur just when he thought she was asleep.

“Yeah?”

“Your mother…she hates me.”

“No.”

“Don’t lie, Peeta.”

“Okay, maybe she does. But, remember, she’s not too fond of me, either.”

Peeta felt Katniss shake her head against him, and he gave a small chuckle. It was so sad, it was funny, in a way.

He looked down into her face; she wore a sad expression. “Heyy,” he soothed, stroking her back lightly. “Hey, Katniss, listen. I don’t care. Don’t give another thought to what my mother said, because it’s not true. Nothing she says means anything to me or matters, at all. You’re wonderful and amazing, and it wasn’t your fault I got hurt, and nothing anyone says or does will ever change the way I fee-think about you.”

How did he feel about her? He didn’t quite know the exact word for it, but whatever it was, it was pretty strong. Like right now, he could feel his heart beating wildly like it was trying to escape his chest. She always made him feel this way, as if his heart might run away or explode into tiny pieces.

Katniss softly sighed. “Okay, Peeta. If you don’t care, I don’t care, either.”

“Good.” He stroked her hair once, twice, three times.

They remained curled up together until just before dawn, and then Katniss slipped away. Right away, he felt the loss. Despite the discomfort in his leg and the fact that he barely slept, for he was either watching Katniss or the clock (in fear they might sleep too long and be discovered), Peeta had never known such a peaceful, wonderful night.

It took nearly two months for the leg to heal, and it did earn him some time off bakery duty, but as expected, his mother had him back to work soon, doing what he could while hobbling around on crutches.

On the bright side, Katniss visited him almost every night, sneaking into his room and into his bed, saying she was checking to make sure he was okay. Peeta got used to having her there, and he enjoyed it, yet he was surprised they were never caught.

Once he was healed, much to Peeta’s disappointment, Katniss stopped coming by; although, it might have had something to do with him suggesting she should stop. He hadn’t wanted her to stop, and he hoped it hadn’t hurt her feelings; he was simply worried they’d be caught and his mother would say more terrible things to her. He didn’t care if she said terrible things to him, but he never wanted Katniss to be called a name again or be made to feel bad, by anyone.

After that, Peeta had to be sneakier about seeing Katniss, and he did see her less. Seemed like, after he healed, his mother gave him extra work at the bakery, in theory, to make up for the time he’d missed. But no matter how much work she gave him or how often she warned him against having anything to do with the ‘little dirtbags’ (one of the kinder nicknames she attributed to the Seam children), nothing‒not even President Snow, himself‒could keep him from Katniss.

He did worry, though, about his mother trying to cause harm to Katniss and her family. She was surely spreading the incident around, making it sound like it was Katniss’s fault‒as if she’d bullied him up that tree then pushed him out or something. She was probably trying to gain sympathy from the townsfolk and hurt the Everdeens’ business, but Peeta assumed everyone would continue to buy Katniss and her father’s game. It was too good. And if not, they would be fine because her dad had his job in the mines.

Even so, Peeta sometimes hated the way things were. Sometimes, he even considered running away from home, off to the Seam or even beyond the fence and into the woods, with Katniss. On the other side of the fence, they could be together everyday and live happily without anyone’s interference.

It was a nice dream.

—–

The next summer, Katniss announced to Peeta that she was going to teach him to swim, and she showed him her father’s lake for the very first time.

“You ready?” she asked excitedly. She was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, he in just shorts.

He stared deep into her eyes, then nodded. “Yes.”

They waded out further into the lake until it was up past his shoulders and came to her chin. She went behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, and forget drowning, Peeta thought he would die right then and there, over this.

See, he’d been having…different sorts of feelings about Katniss lately, in the last couple of months… He cared so much for her, as always, but he’d also been thinking more and more about things like: kissing her, touching her, and feeling her pressed against him. He wished she’d sneak into his bed again, but he was also kind of afraid he wouldn’t keep his hands to himself if she did. He knew he would never hurt or mistreat Katniss, but sometimes, it was tough to think straight around her, and sometimes his body seemed to have a mind of its own.

It was frustrating.

Right now, Katniss was hugging him, and it felt nice. No, not hugging–supporting him in the water. But it felt like a hug, and he didn’t get them often, his father being so busy, and his mother, well, not being the hugging type.

Katniss’s hands briefly ran up his stomach, to his chest, and back down. It made Peeta shiver, and his breath hitched. And he had to wonder, did she get the kind of feelings he did, too?

“You okay?” she asked. He could feel her bangs brushing his bare back, tickling his skin a little, but in a way he really liked.

He tried to answer coolly, but it came out as a choked “Y-yes.”

“Okay.” Katniss shifted a little, instructing him to dunk his head and practice holding his breath. “I’ll hold onto you.”

“You won’t let go?” he asked. More so, he wanted the reassurance of having her there, because she emboldened him and made him feel safe, even if she was much smaller than him.

“Never, Peeta,” she assured. He smiled and rested his hands atop hers.

“Okay, I’m ready.” And with that, he dipped his head under the water.

Katniss was a good teacher, even if he was kind of a bumbling idiot when it came to the water. He’d never survive in D4. Not like he’d ever have any reason to go there. But they had fun, swimming around and splashing one another. Peeta even picked her up and tossed her in a couple of times, and she came right back at him, latching onto his shoulders and dunking him or wrapping her legs around his waist and climbing his back.

Peeta got better at staying underwater, and he took to swimming around her and tickling her beneath the waves‒in innocent places, of course, like her feet or her sides. One time, though, the water caused her shirt to billow up and he accidentally slid his hand across the bare skin of her stomach. It was so flat and smooth; it felt nice. For a split second, his hand took over before his mind could have any say in the manner, and he squeezed her side a little. Katniss sucked in a sharp breath and reared back. And instantly, she was throwing out her arms and kicking her legs to put some distance between them.

“Katniss, I’m sorry! Di-did I hurt you?”

She shook her head rapidly, but she could barely look at him.

Again, Peeta apologized while slowly moving toward her.

“It’s okay.” She swallowed. “I’m just…ticklish there.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Things were a little weird after that, and Katniss kind of kept her distance from him, despite Peeta apologizing quite a few more times. She finally told him to just forget about it.

But Peeta didn’t want to forget. He wished he could touch her anytime he felt like it, and that she would want that, too.

After their swimming lesson at the lake, Peeta started having dreams about Katniss, embarrassing ones. More embarrassing, still, was the way his body reacted to the dreams, even in his sleep. It was a bit upsetting, and she would be mortified if she knew. But he couldn’t seem to help himself. And it occurred almost every night. Peeta considered talking to his father about it, but that would be weird, and talking to his older brothers would be even weirder. But they were actually helpful in a way. Hearing them talk, he came to understand that it was normal to feel what he was feeling.

Those feelings continued‒oh, did they continue!‒and Peeta started to notice other girls, too, but none of them left any kind of lasting impression on him as Katniss did.

Was it normal for a boy to be so obsessed with a single girl his entire life?

—–

Eventually, Peeta decided he needed a distraction from Katniss, and so, he joined the wrestling team at 15. His older brother wrestled, and he’d always thought that was pretty neat.

Turned out, he was really good at it, even came in second in the school, only to his brother.

The wrestling built up Peeta’s body and his popularity. Although he’d always been stronger than most boys his age, due to working in the bakery, he developed, growing broader and stronger but remaining lean in the waist. He made more friends, and girls were starting to pay attention to him. Save for one‒the girl he’d noticed all along. Unfortunately, Katniss still treated him like her pal, and even worse, she was spending less time with him and more time with Gale Hawthorne…

Peeta didn’t like it.

But he supposed he couldn’t blame her; between wrestling and the bakery, he’d had next to no time for her.

Or, maybe Katniss was finally figuring out that he didn’t belong in her world. Not because she was a Seam girl and he was from town, but because, he didn’t seem to fit in with her and her friends. For instance, he wasn’t good at the same kinds of things as they were. It didn’t matter to Peeta, but maybe it mattered to her.

Regardless, if she would allow it, he would remain by her side, for always. Whether they were doing something he was good at or not, whether they were going someplace dangerous or unpleasant, no matter what, wherever she went, he wanted to go, too.

But over the next year, things began to shift between them. Peeta’s popularity in school only seemed to push Katniss away, and whenever he tried to remedy the situation, she either ignored him or flat-out made up an excuse. It was a crushing blow each time she did.

One day, a girl asked Peeta to go to the slag heap with her. He knew what that meant, of course, and he actually considered it, if only to give himself the chance to feel something for someone other than Katniss. But in the end, he just couldn’t go through with it, and he told her no. She was pretty, but if her name wasn’t Katniss Everdeen, then Peeta Mellark simply wasn’t interested.

That was the day it hit him‒he loved Katniss Everdeen. No, not just loved her; he was in love with her.

Maybe he should tell her how he felt.

But how could he? She would never reciprocate‒she didn’t think of him that way‒and he didn’t think he could take the rejection. Best to leave things the way they were because having Katniss as his friend was much better than not having her at all…

—–

Katniss’s POV (Age 16)

Several days later…

“So, where’ve you been lately, Peeta?” asked Gale. “Been wondering where the other half of Peetnip’s been.”

“Actually, we prefer Everlark,” said Peeta with a grin.

Katniss hugged her legs to her chest, blushing over the combining of hers and Peeta’s names, even though she knew it didn’t mean anything. Gale was just fooling around, and Peeta was playing along.

“Yeah, so what gives?” barked Gale. “You too good to hang out with us all of a sudden?”

“No, not at all, I-” Peeta glanced over at her. “I’ve just been really busy with wrestling.”

And his new friends…

And that girl…

Katniss was sure she wasn’t coming close to hiding the disdain on her face. Of course, she’d heard about that pretty girl asking Peeta to the slag heap. And it had hurt way more than it should have; she’d actually felt like a part of her died inside that day.

Katniss wasn’t sure why, but lately, she’d been thinking about Peeta a lot. About old times. When he fell out of the tree; when they slept in the same bed; that summer at the lake…

How had things changed so much between them, and somehow, not at all? Part of Katniss wanted so badly for things to always stay the same, but another part of her kind of wished that things could be…different between Peeta and her.

She shook off her thoughts and turned her attention back on Gale.

He was looking as skeptical as her over Peeta’s excuse. Not for the same reason, probably. It was because Peeta was a merchant’s son. And that meant Gale was always paranoid that Peeta was only pretending to be their friend for some ulterior motive not yet revealed, or that he’d ditch them all at the first opportunity. Honestly, Katniss was surprised Gale had even accepted Peeta into their circle in the first place. But, as with her (and everyone), it had taken him some time.

“Seriously, man, it takes up almost all of my free time. And then there’s my…” Peeta stopped short.

“Your mother,” Gale finished for him.

“Yeah.” Peeta looked to Katniss then, probably because he knew it was a sore subject for her. Katniss glanced away.

Peeta’s mother. As much as Katniss disliked her, Peeta still seemed to care about what she thought, even if he said he didn’t.

Not that she could blame him. Angering his mother was dangerous, and she wanted him to be safe. Simply associating with her, as Peeta was doing now, could earn him a beating. And Katniss felt constant guilt over it. He shouldn’t be here now; she should tell him to stop coming, once and for all. But she just…

“Katniss, who’s that man leering at you?” Gale’s voice broke Katniss’s train of thought.

“Leering?” She blinked several times in succession. No guys ‘leered’ at her. Guys barely even knew she existed, aside from her small group‒and they didn’t exactly think of her as a ‘girl.’ She was just one of the guys; she’d never even been asked on a date. Not that she’d want to go on one…except maybe with…

Shaking off the ridiculous notion, Katniss shielded her eyes from the sun and looked over. Gale was right; the man was actually staring at her. He was an older man, wearing dark, fancy clothing and gold eyeshadow. He definitely wasn’t from around here.

“I don’t know.” Katniss shrugged. “Never seen him before in my life. And he’s not leering.”

“Nah, I think he is,” Gale smirked. “He’s looking pretty hard at you, Catnip.”

Katniss’s cheeks flushed. It felt so strange and uncomfortable having a man, any man, look at her that way as if he was evaluating her…

“Well, all I know is, he can’t be from District 12,” remarked Gale. “Look at those fancy clothes.”

Her old hunting partner had read her mind, and instinctively, Katniss looked back at Peeta for his take on the matter. Peeta didn’t even seem to notice her; he was focused on the man, and he seemed none too happy about the situation.

The man with the gold eyeshadow came over then, and he introduced himself to Katniss. His name was Cinna, and he was from the Capitol.

The Capitol. What could a man from the Capitol possibly want with her?

“I’m sorry to stare, but let me explain,” said Cinna. “I’m a stylist in the Capitol, and I’ve been searching for the perfect girl to model a new line of clothing I’m designing.”

Yeah? And what does that have to do with me?

He was going to have to spell this one out for her.

“I think you’re it.” At his words, Katniss’s eyes widened. She glanced back at her group, the entire lot seeming as thunderstruck as her. “Miss…?” He extended his hand.

“Katniss Everdeen.” She accepted his hand and shook it.

“Katniss, what a lovely name. May I call you Katniss?”

Numbly, she nodded.

“Well, Katniss, you’re just what I’ve been looking for. That skin, those eyes…I could do wonders with your unique look.”

Katniss blinked several times, opening her mouth and closing it like a fish out of water.

“No offense,” she finally managed to say, “but I think you have the wrong girl. As you can see,” she motioned in presentation of her dirty clothing and disheveled hair, “I’m no model.”

Cinna grinned. “Not yet, you aren’t, but that’s where I come in.”

Katniss couldn’t understand it. What was this man thinking? People from the Capitol were known for their exotic tastes, but this was a bit much. So what if he thought she had nice skin and eyes? Couldn’t he find plenty of other girls with far better skin (that wasn’t caked in dirt and the faintest hint of coal dust) and with much more alluring eyes. A unique look? Well, the Capitol was full of people like that, wasn’t it?

“There must be better choices than me in the Capitol,” she spoke her thoughts aloud.

“Yes, well, I want a girl who’s real,” explained Cinna. “An ordinary girl. One of the people. From the districts, not some fashion icon from the Capitol. I’ve worked with plenty of those, and they’ve left me…wanting.”

Katniss stared blankly at the man before her.

“Just think about, Katniss,” he said, taking her hand and patting it gently. “It would only be for about three months, and it would pay a lot of money.”

Money? Her eyes lit up at the magic word. Now that the mine was temporarily shut down after that accident, her family could certainly use the money, but a model?! She couldn’t be a model. And the thought of leaving behind her family and Peeta…well, she didn’t like it one bit.

Katniss glanced back at her blue-eyed boy with the bread, who seemed perturbed and maybe a little sad. Their eyes met, and pleadingly, she stared into his, hoping for a silent answer. What do I do?

#jhsgf82 #567inpanem #prompt 13 #Springtime edition 2021 #submission

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taizi · 3 years

Note

Hi! I love your works! 71 + 72 for Luffy and Jinbei?

PROMPTS LIST

71. “I’m going to protect you.”

smile again

As a watchdog journalist, Jinbei's work takes him everywhere. He isn't always in the best position to receive phone calls. Sometimes, depending on what story his group decides to chase after and what far-flung corner of the world it leads them to, Jinbei goes weeks without internet access.

By the time he gets news of the accident, Luffy has been out of the hospital for a month and Ace has been dead just as long.

Jinbei has to go home.

His colleagues-- a group of solid, hard-working people he's known for going on twenty years, has worked with on the field and off, in smoke and fire and claustrophobic office spaces-- are entirely understanding.

Tiger drives him to a small airport, the truck bouncing along a bumpy gravel road. There's a single, hastily-packed duffel in the bed of the pickup. Jinbei isn't even sure what he shoved in there, having only made one mindless pass through his room. He would have left without his passport if Hatchan hadn't shoved it into his hands on his way out the door.

"It may be time for me to retire," Jinbei says aloud. His mind is ebbing and rising like a tide, a vast ocean of grief. Thoughts go bobbing away like loose buoys before he can get a grasp on them.

All he can think of is the last video-call he made home, over a month ago now. Ace and Luffy, pressed cheek-to-cheek so they'd both fit in-frame, competitive in all things and unwilling to take turns, even as Jinbei laughingly promised he had plenty of time to talk.

They made him promise to call again soon. He meant to.

"Don't worry about us over here," Tiger says. His eyes are on the road, hands tight around the steering wheel. He carries Jinbei's grief like it's his own. "Just worry about your boy."

His boy, Jinbei thinks. Not by blood or by law, certainly, but by something less quantifiable than that. Those scrappy kids that spilled into his yard one muggy summer evening, hiding in the hedges from their well-antagonized CPS caseworker and somehow claiming a piece of Jinbei's heart from the moment he first laid eyes on them.

Ace was so angry back then, and Luffy was so easily frightened, and they clung to each other in a practiced way, as if they were so used to the world trying to claw them apart that they didn't expect anything else, even from a perfect stranger. They didn't seem to know what to do with kindness. Ace watched Jinbei like a hawk for weeks, long after Luffy warmed up to him. His trust, when he finally gave it, felt like a prize.

Jinbei was working long, unpredictable hours, and knew it wouldn't be fair to drag two children into his household if he couldn't afford them the time and care they deserved-- but after school? Weekends? Holidays? Those he gave up freely.

His days gained some semblance of routine again, for the fist time since he finished college. His kitchenware came down from the cupboard, the pockmarked kitchen table was often set for three. He made dinner at home, more than he ate in the office with his colleagues.

Hell, his colleagues ate dinner with him at home more often, too. Within an hour of meeting the boys, each of Jinbei's friends, to a man, would have taken a bullet for either of them, no questions asked.

The sense of structure did wonders for the brothers. With a safe place to return to when they needed it, and someone to fall back on, Ace stopped looking at every potential foster home as if it was a threat. Luffy came out of his shell, bolder with each new day. He made a friend in the village, a boy with vivid green eyes, and they hardly spent a moment apart.

They were finally placed with a couple who lived nearby. Shanks was wry and good-natured, and Benn had the patience of a saint. After a few weeks, when Jinbei asked how they were settling in, his worries were soothed: Luffy clearly adored them, and even Ace grudgingly admitted they weren't so bad.

And when the time came, and Ace applied for emancipation as well as custody of his brother, he had a small army in his corner. A patchwork family collected in little bits and pieces, ready to support him through anything.

"I will always be here for you both," Jinbei had promised him, countless times. "You'll never be alone as long as I'm alive."

"Thank you," Ace said, a little bashful. But he was so pleased, and so full of hope for the future, and he said, "I'll feel better, knowing someone's around to look after Luffy if I can't."

He immediately got shouted down by his entire strange extended pseudo-family for daring to suggest they'd ever let anything happen to him, and it made him laugh so brightly, and now the memory sticks like needles in Jinbei's throat.

Tiger hugs him hard before Jinbei boards the plane. In the back of his mind, where there is a tiny corner free from drowning, Jinbei can't help but wonder when he'll see his friend again.

He keeps thinking of that last video call. He can't remember everything they talked about. He doesn't think he said enough. He almost certainly didn't tell Ace everything he deserved to hear. Foolishly, he assumed there would be another time.

He's learned from this. He won't take it for granted any more.

"Call me when you land," Tiger says. "Give the monkey our love."

"I will," Jinbei replies. His heart is so heavy he doesn't know how he manages the steps onto the plane. He doesn't know how the pilot manages to lift them up from the tarmac. It's a wonder they aren't sinking, straight through the earth.

Nami and Usopp are waiting for him at the airport, wide-awake even though it's well past two o'clock in the morning. They're familiar to Jinbei from the stories Luffy has told him, from the numerous video calls they've bullied their way into over the years, and the handful of birthdays and holidays Jinbei was able to make it home for.

"Luffy wanted to come with us to pick you up, but he fell asleep," Usopp says, apropos of nothing, as they're waiting for their Uber. "Sanji said it was a small miracle, and Zoro looked like he was going to hunt us for sport if we even thought about waking him up, so--"

"He hasn't been sleeping, then?" Jinbei asks quietly.

"After he came home, he was on some pretty heavy meds, and he slept a lot," Nami says. Her arms are folded tight against her chest in the nighttime chill, her eyes trained somewhere far away. "But he had bad dreams and he would wake up disoriented. Now he fights sleep tooth and nail."

"We've all sort of become the insomnia squad," Usopp pipes up. "Thank god I'm not taking any classes this summer."

"Sanji's gotten really good at making lattes," Nami adds with a small smile. "Wait till you see his shiny new espresso machine."

"I'm like eight-five percent sure he stole it from the Baratie."

Jinbei listens to their chatter, feeling at once anchored by them and adrift at sea. It makes sense that they would be ahead of him. They've been here all this time, practically from the moment of the accident, facing it with all the bravery and endurance of sailors in a typhoon. Jinbei, meanwhile, had been living in an unchanged world.

For the last month, Ace has been dead. How many times had Jinbei thought about him? Mentioned him to a friend? How many times had Jinbei wrongly said his name in the present-tense?

The house is warmly-lit when they arrive, but quiet. An old blue Irish wolfhound greets them at the door, wagging his tail. Robin looks up from the papers she has spread out on the coffee table and smiles. Chopper is fast asleep beside her, his head on her shoulder. Behind them, Jinbei can see Sanji at work in the kitchen, shaping dough. Something is baking that smells of cinnamon and apples.

They weren't kidding about their sleep schedules being a mess.

"Hello, Jinbei. It's good to see you," Robin says. Her voice is soft, in deference to the sleeping teenager. "Luffy is asleep, but you can see him if you like."

"Please," Jinbei replies hoarsely.

"I'll take him," Nami says. "Usopp, would you bring his bag to the guest bedroom?"

"'Course," Usopp replies, but he makes a detour into the kitchen first.

Nami takes Jinbei's hand and leads him toward the stairs. "I feel really stupid about this, but I was so angry at you," she admits as they make their way up. "It's hardly the first time we haven't been able to contact you, and I know why that is. But-- I don't know, I think I was going crazy. I wanted Luffy to have everything he wanted. I wanted everyone who loved him to be here every time he woke up. So I-- so there might be some angry emails waiting for you, but please don't hate me for it."

"I won't even read them," Jinbei promises gravely, his heart cleaved clean in two. "I can't imagine how-- how hard it must have been. I-- if I had gotten the messages sooner-- "

"I know," Nami assures him, pausing outside a closed bedroom door. "Franky spoke to you like six hours ago, and you're already here. You dropped everything to be here. We know the kind of person you are."

She stands up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, and Jinbei bends to accommodate her, the same way he does for Koala. Then Nami reaches out and pushes open the door.

Zoro is awake, sitting against the headboard with his phone in hand and earphones in, and his eyes are as bright and sharp now as they were when he was a child. He looks up when the door opens, and seems to relax when he sees Jinbei stepping in behind Nami.

"Go to sleep," Nami whispers, pointing at the second bed across the spacious room.

"Don't tell me what to do," Zoro replies, just as quiet, but he pulls his earphones out and extracts himself from the bed with all the exacting precision of a bomb disposal technician. Nami takes him by the arm, helping him get up so carefully that the mattress hardly moves. It's such a well-practiced maneuver that Jinbei thinks he honestly might cry.

"If one of you would stay for a bit, I'll grab a shower," Zoro says.

"Sure, stinky," Nami says, nudging him toward the door. "Jinbei?"

He nods, unsure of what he's agreeing to. Now that he's finally next to Luffy, nothing else seems to exist. He sinks into the chair beside the bed, only half-aware of Nami and Zoro leaving. Their murmured conversation is cut off by the closing door. The room is silent, save for the gentle, unobtrusive sound of Luffy's steady breathing.

He's lost weight since Jinbei saw him last. There are shadows on his face that don't belong there. He looks both older and younger than he has any right to, even now, when his face is untroubled and slack with sleep.

"Hello, little monkey," Jinbei says. His voice is quiet, but it still breaks. He's crying, he realizes, thick tears rolling down his face with abandon. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

He thinks of two little boys, spilling into his life on accident, taking up room in his home and his heart as if they always belonged there. They weren't his, not really, but he loved them anyway. Loves them still.

"I'm here now," he whispers. His hands are shaking. "I'm going to protect you, like I promised. I'm here, Ace. Please believe me, wherever you are. I won't fail you again."

#one piece #op #opfic #knight of the sea jimbei #cat burglar nami #god usopp #my writing #smile again #i woke up and chose violence #but i mean a couple people were wondering where jimbei was so u brought this upon urselves

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themadlostgirl · 3 years

Text

Keeping Warm (2)

*Did I make a second part to this because one person asked for it? Yes I did. Come to me my Felix simps! Enjoy your fluff!*

~~~

That had to be the best sleep I’ve had in a while! This cloak was a lot better than my old one. I wonder how long I could get away with keeping it before the boys stole it back. I folded it up neatly and hid it under my cot so it wasn’t out in the open for them to steal back.

I left my tent and noticed that the boys that had been laughing and teasing me yesterday were keeping a wide berth from me today. I had no problem with that. The farther away they stayed the better.

Since I was truly well rested for the first time in a long time I decided to take advantage of my energy and practice my archery. Before Neverland I never had a need to learn how to wield a weapon but archery was fun and it helped in hunting small game. I grabbed my bow and quiver of arrows before setting off into the jungle. When it came to game on the island there wasn’t a whole lot outside of fish and some birds but they didn’t make for much food.

If you wanted a good meal you had to head into the dark jungle of the island. It’s where all the big game lived since anyone ventured in there. You could sometimes find a rogue boar running around outside of the dark jungle but they mainly stayed within the perimeter. Other than boars there was also a type of goat that lived there. The boys had tried keeping some of the goats for milk a while back but after the “incident” all the goats were shoved into the dark jungle and water became the only acceptable source of drink. Probably for the best.

I was out tracking for a while when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I tried to make it out through the foliage and saw the head of a goat pop up. Gotcha. I notched an arrow and took aim. I let the arrow fly and cheered when it went right through the goat’s eyes.

“What the hell?” Another head popped up, this time it wasn’t a goat though. Felix turned to look at me. “What was that?”

“Sorry!” I rushed over, “I was hunting and saw the goat head. I didn’t mean to shoot at you. What are you doing out here?”

“Same as you it seems. I had been tracking this fat bastard for over an hour.” He kicked the dead goat at our feet. “Almost had it too before you got it first. Nice shot by the way.”

“Thanks! I was really lucky this time around. I usually don’t get a clear shot like that.” I tore the arrow out of the goat’s head. “Since you’re here do you mind helping me lug this beast back to camp?”

“Sure,” Felix heaved the goat up and threw it onto his shoulders. “Let’s get moving.”

“This will surely make for a good dinner tonight.”

“You really wanna let those jerks tear into your catch?” Felix asked.

“I mean not really but this is way more food than you and I can eat so we kinda have to split it up.” I shrugged, “Why do you care anyway? I thought you liked the other Lost Boys.”

“They’re my brothers but brothers can get damn annoying.” He muttered, “Taking shit that doesn’t belong to them and whatnot.”

“Ugh, I know what you mean.” I sighed, “They stole my cloak out of my tent last night so I stole one of theirs as payback.”

“Did you now?” Felix trudged further ahead, “Did you give it back yet?”

“No and I don’t plan to. Mine was so thin it didn’t help at all but this one is really warm so unless they come and pry it away from me I’m not giving it up. It also helps that is smells good so I cuddle up in it even tighter.” My face started heating up after I realized what I just admitted. “Sorry, that was a lot of unnecessary information.”

“It’s fine,” Felix muttered.

I jogged to fall into step next to him. I grabbed an apple out of my bag and started cutting off slices with my knife. I wordlessly offered one to Felix. This time when I popped it into his mouth for him though I didn’t roll my eyes since his hands were full carrying the goat. We trekked back to camp in companionable silence. Felix set the goat down for the others to skin and cook while we rested.

We sat down on a log together while I picked bits of goat fur off his shoulders.

“Felix,” One of the boys approached us, “Pan was looking for you earlier but you were away from camp so he wanted me to pass on a message.”

“And?” Felix asked.

“He’s gone off the island on a mission of sorts. Says he may not be back till morning at the latest so you’re in charge till then.”

“Got it.” Felix nodded and the boy ran off again.

“Man in charge tonight,” I poked his shoulder, “Don’t crack under the pressure, captain.”

“Har har,” He rolled his shoulder ushering me off, “Being in charge for a night doesn’t entail much. I just have to make sure these idiots don’t go rogue during Pan’s absence and do something stupid like burn the camp down again.”

“These boys can really be just the dumbest things on the face of the earth, can’t they?” I shook my head. Then my body shook. A cold gust of wind blew through the camp. It wasn’t like the slightly cooler breezes that Neverland usually had. This was cold. Really cold.

The other boys felt it as well. All of them rushing to their tents and reappearing with cloaks and others running for firewood. “What’s going on?” I asked Felix as I rubbed feebly at my arms.

Felix sighed. “I almost forgot that this happens when Pan leaves. He so rarely does anymore it didn’t even cross my mind.”

“What?”

“When Pan leaves then time stands still. I don’t mean that in the way that tie naturally stands still here. I mean the island basically goes into hibernation without him around. Depending on how long he’s been gone we should start to see the beginnings of…” Felix looked up. The once clear sunny sky had been replaced with dark dreary clouds.

“Oh don’t tell me it’s gonna rain!” I pouted.

“Worse than that.”

We sat there for a minute as delicate white flakes started falling from the sky. “Snow?!” I gaped at the offending weather. “How is there snow? This is a tropical island!”

“It is a magic island too though.” Felix said. “You may want to grab something to put on, viper. It’s only gonna get colder.”

“Right, I’ll be right back.” I ran back to my tent and pulled the cloak out from under my cot. I put it on but while it was thick enough to keep out the chill of the night it was just another feeble layer against the bitter cold that we had been subjected to now.

I went back to the log where Felix and I had been seated but he wasn’t there anymore. I made my way towards the bonfire the boys had started and huddled as close as I could get to the flames. I really hope the boy I stole the cloak from won’t try to take it back now. I fear I’ll freeze to death without it.

The sky grew even darker and the island got even colder. We were quickly burning through our supply of firewood and I knew that it would run out soon. When that happened it was every man for themselves. I figured I’d hunker down in my tent and try to keep warm by myself until Pan returned and the cold went away.

I stayed by the fire as it dwindled down to faintly glowing coals. The snow had really piled up and my toes were numb in my boots. Oh no! I didn’t even take into account the snow! I ran as fast as I could to my tent but it was of no use. The snow had weighed it down and it crumpled. My cot was soaked and the beams I had used to pitch it had snapped. This was just great.

It looked as if the other boys had gotten the memo to keep the snow from piling up on their tents since they rest were still standing. Would have been nice if they mentioned something to me. I shivered violently against another harsh gale of wind and trudged away from my ruined tent. Maybe I could find Felix and he’d take pity on me and let me stay in his tent for the night.

I scoured the wintry white camp but saw no Felix. He was probably already hunkered down. If only I knew which tent was his.

~~~

Damn this cold. Why did the island have to go into hibernation just cause Pan wasn’t around? It really wasn’t fair. Felix hated it all the more since he didn’t have anything to keep him warm now that he had let you have his cloak.

Upon realizing just how bad it was going to camp Felix remembered something that could help him keep warm. He jumped up and ran into the jungle until he found the old, gnarled dead tree that years and years ago had been the first home of the Lost Boys. He knocked against the trunk until he found the hatch that opened up. It would be a tight fit but if he kept his arms close to his chest then...Felix slipped down the hollow trunk of the tree and was deposited into an underground cavern.

He lit a torch along the wall and breathed in the dusty but altogether warmer air. This place looked as if it hadn’t been touched in decades. It probably hadn’t. Felix only ever remembered this place when Pan left and turned the rest of the island into a wintry hellscape. He never told any of the other Lost Boys about this warm oasis since he didn’t want them crowding in around him.

Felix was down there clearing cobwebs and shaking out the dusty furs and blankets when he was hit with a sharp realization. He left you back at camp. He left the one person who cannot handle any amount of cold in any way back in a blizzard!

“Shit!” Felix hissed and climbed back out of the cavern. He raced back to camp and spotted you easily enough since you were the only one still outside. Why were you outside? Why weren’t you in your tent at least?

“Hey,” He shouted, pulling you away from where the bonfire had been, “What are you doing out here?”

“Tent collapsed under the snow.” Your whole body was shaking so bad that it even bled into your voice. “Was looking for you…”

“Come on,” He grabbed your hand and tugged you along, “I know someplace we can go to wait this out.”

Felix knew it was a bad time but he couldn’t get over the sight of you in his cloak. It was just like last night when he got that strange fluttering in his chest. He gripped your hand tighter and tried pulling you faster but you ended up losing your balance and tripping. Felix caught you before you landed in the snow but he could tell you were having trouble keeping up.

“We’re almost there, just a little further,”

“I can’t feel my toes,” You whimpered.

“Damn it,” Felix ran a hand through his hair. “Well we can’t stay out here. Hold onto me.” With that Felix gathered you in his arms and pulled you off the ground. He hiked his way back to the dead tree with you held in his arms. This was the first time he had really been this close to you. Your head nestled on his shoulder as your body trembled. He set you down long enough to open the hatch on the dead tree again and set you inside. You went sliding down and Felix shortly followed.

“Where are we?” You gazed around the cavern you both were in. “It’s warm in here.”

“My own little get away when the island goes into stasis.” Felix explained. He helped you up and ushered you towards the bed at the back of the cavern covered in blankets and furs. “You’ll keep warm down here.”

“Blankets!” He burrowed underneath the blankets with a content sigh. “I am never leaving this pile.”

“Thought you’d enjoy that.” Felix smiled. “Are your toes still numb?”

“A little.”

“Let me see, I want to make sure you don’t have frostbite.” He instructed.

You untied your boots and Felix grimaced when he saw that your socks had been soaked through. You peeled those off too. There was no way to make this awkward so Felix grabbed your feet and inspected them, pushing on your toes to make sure they hadn’t incurred any damage.

“Good news, you get to keep your toes.” Felix pushed your feet off his lap and pulled the blanket you were wrapped in back over them.

“That is a relief.” You smiled brightly. “Thanks for sharing this space with me.”

“Well I wasn’t just gonna let you suffer out there in the cold. The others deserve it but not you.” Felix said. The fluttering was back and he could feel it’s way creeping up his neck into his face. The air in the room suddenly felt too hot. He shuffled back to the foot of the bed further away from you.

There was a beat of silence.

“Hey Felix?” You crawled over to sit next to him.

“Yeah?” Felix tried not to look at you lest the pink in his cheeks be noticed.

“Where is your cloak? Don’t tell me you were out running around in this weather without grabbing it.” You said. Felix resisted a bark of laughter. Said cloak was still around your shoulders and you clutched it tightly in your hands as you looked at him.

“I didn’t have much of a choice.” He pulled the hood up over your head and down in front of your eyes. “You kinda stole it, viper.”

“Huh?” Your eyes peeped out from under the hood. He watched with amusement as the realization hit you and you pulled the hood back down to hide. “I’m sorry! I had no idea it was yours! I thought it belonged to one of the jerks that stole mine!”

“It’s alright, you needed it a lot more than I did anyway.” He chuckled softly. “Glad to know you think I smell good though.”

“AGH!” You dove under the blankets to hide further. Your embarrassed voice still rung clear from underneath the furs. “I cannot believe I told you that!”

“Come now, it’s not that bad.” Felix couldn’t help the spark of joy he felt when he teased you. “Come out. I wanna talk to you.”

“Nope! I am never leaving again for the sake of my dignity.”

“Fine.” Felix took a deep breath and pulled the covers up over himself. Your face was inches away from his under the blankets. “I’ll just come to you.”

“Felix…” You muttered, you were still keeping your eyes down so you weren’t looking at him.

“I wanna know something.”

“What?”

“If you get so cold at night why didn’t you ask me for help? I could have brought you as many blankets as you wanted from down here.”

“I didn’t ask because I had already tried asking the other boys for help and all they did was make fun of me. I didn’t want you to tease me too.”

“Teasing you is fun but I’d rather you not freeze to death.” He said, “I also told the boys that if they steal anything from you again then they’ll answer to me.”

“Why would you do that?” You asked, “I get that we’re friends but you don’t have to fight my battles.”

“It’s because you are my friend that I want to help you, idiot.” He poked your forehead, “Which means threatening Lost Boys and letting you steal my cloak. It kinda feels like it’s my mission to keep you warm.”

“A noble cause indeed.” You laughed and Felix decided then that he had never heard a more pleasing sound.

Your smile softened and Felix got lost in your eyes for a moment. The fluttering was getting worse but he found he didn’t mind it. “Here,” You closed the distance between the two of you and left a quick kiss on his cheek, “A little token of thanks.”

Okay. Now he minded. It felt like a billion butterflies had gotten trapped in his ribcage. It was just a moment. A mere second of contact but it lit his body from the toes up as if he had stepped into a fire.

“You okay? Did I cross a line? Sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just thankful for what you did and you’ve always been nice to me so--”

“Give…” Felix mumbled under his breath but it was enough to stop your mess of ramblings.

“You say something?” You asked.

“Give you…” Felix took a deep breath but it did little to calm his nerves. “Want to give you one.”

“Give me one what?” You asked.

“A...um…” he tapped his cheek. This was stupid! Why was he trying to initiate this right now? It was only meant to be a thank you kiss between friends and he was making it weird!

“Oh!” Your face got even hotter than it had a moment before. “I mean if you really want to then go ahead. Can I ask why first?”

“A thanks for never dropping a hermit crab in my mouth whenever you offer me food?” he joked. You laughed again, the tension between you breaking.

“I do deserve thanks for that.” You nodded and presented your cheek, “Go ahead.”

Okay Felix. Do not screw this up. There is not conceivable way to mess this up. He inched closer and left a darting kiss to your warm cheek.

“I bring you a lot of snacks,” Your voice was a whisper, “I think maybe that’s worthy of two kisses.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” Felix turned your face so he could kiss your other cheek. “While we’re at it I think I’m owed more thanks for lugging that big goat of yours back to camp. It wasn’t light at all.”

“I suppose you do.” You grinned wider. This time when you kissed him you pressed it to the tip of his nose. “You also carried me here so if we think about it logically then I should--”

“Just kiss me already.” Felix pulled you closer.

“Yes sir,” You held his face in your small warm hands and kissed him on the mouth. Your lips were so soft and you tasted sweet like berries. “Felix,” You murmured against his lips.

“Hm?”

“If this is another way of keeping warm, it’s working.”

“Then we probably shouldn’t stop.” His lips met yours again. He couldn’t have you getting cold again after all.

---

(Part 1)

#felix imagine #felix x reader #ouat felix #ouat #neverland #peter pan ouat #request

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greywritesfics · 4 years

Text

One Day At A Time

Overview: The moment you first saw Shinso’s performance at the first year Sports Festival set off a chain of fateful interactions and an unrequited declaration of rivalry. Now, as you stand hand in hand with your husband-to-be, you can’t help but think back to everything that brought you here.

Pairing: Shinso Hitoshi x Reader

Word Count: 3741

Genre: Scenario, Fluff

A/N: I had so much fun writing this for the POCuties Server Collab: ‘A Wedding to Remember!’ My heart went binkie boom doom. I hope you all enjoy best boi Shinso!! And thank you to @tui-lah for beta reading, I appreciate it! You can find the rest of everyone’s amazing works here.

The flowers entwined between your fingers twinge with sweat from your palms as the beating of your heart ran a mile a minute. Exhaling a breath, you briefly glanced at the bouquet of beautifully arranged flowers before the double doors broke you from your reverie. On either side stood your best friend, Mina, in a beautiful gown that accentuated her figure, and Kaminari, your husband-to-be’s best friend.

Mina beamed, the black sclera of her eyes twinkling as she caught onto the small sigh of contentment that left your lips as you basked in the physique of the love of your life in a tuxedo at the end of the peddle-filled aisle. The light reflected from the vibrant bouquet, which made you look dazzling in the spotlight. Carrying on an otherworldly trance before the two left your side, not before the blonde sent you subtle thumbs up.

Facing your groom, your eyes roamed his figure, giving him a once-over. The tuxedo hugged him perfectly, highlighting his broad shoulders and slim build. The black of his suit had a velvet quality to it, and brought something out of him, a self-respecting pride and confidence that had you nibbling your bottom lip.

“Oh, hello, Mr. Bond,” you whispered with a cheeky grin. You couldn’t help yourself, Shinso looked like the perfect action man with a license to thrill. His typically messy indigo hair was slicked back, or at least tried to be, you had to give him an ‘A’ for the effort. You peaked at the tips that were haphazardly pushed back, intertwining into a beautiful chaos-- you’d fix it later into his naturally ruffled tufts.

You heard a breathy snort from the man across you. Looking up, your eyes latched onto an all-too-familiar pair of glaciers that resembled hyacinths and the lazy-smirk that had the corner of your eyes softening.

Shinso reaches out to you as soon as the one to wed you both begins to speak, his calloused hands holding yours. It’s funny actually, as you gaze at your intertwined hands and the paleness of his skin of how the two of you ended up in the aisle together, rings readied to be worn, and a life promised to spend together forever.

You remembered it like it was just yesterday.

After his fight with Midoriya during the first year Sports Festival, you left the stands to find the General Studies student in the hall. Luckily for you, you saw him in no time, the striking lavender hair and familiar U.A. uniform that he wore was hard to miss. You quickly fell into step with his languid steps.

“Shinso Hitoshi, right? I’m (L/N) (Y/N), nice to meet you.”

With his ashy lilac and deeply sunken eyes, he faced you with a bored expression on his face. “Okay.”

The two of you walk in silence for at least a few minutes, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck before he speaks. “Uh--” he clears his throat a little awkwardly, “why are you following me?” It was a simple question, not one that harbored an accusing tone, and you were almost shocked by the fact that he made no effort to chase you away.

“Oh shit,” you cursed, smacking your forehead, having forgotten to announce the reason why you followed him in the first place. “My bad, dude, I can’t believe I forgot. You’re my rival.”

“What?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, his pace slowing even more until they stopped.

“Rival, y’ know where two people compete for the same objective or superiority.”

He clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes, “I know what a rival is, but why are you declaring that you’re mine.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. You thought that at this point, it was obvious enough for him to catch on. Maybe he was a bit slow; the bags under his eyes may have killed a couple of brain cells over the years. “‘Cause we have the same goal,” you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. “We want to prove everyone who doubts us wrong.” Mich like him, growing up with an ‘evil’ Quirk, you’ve had a fair share of gossip surrounding you. That’s why you wanted to be a hero, to end the discrimination against labeling Quirks as villainous.

“Really?” he paused, “what would a student from the heroics course know about being deemed as a criminal.” One look into his eyes, and you already knew. The bitterness in his orbs was unmistakable.

“More than you know,” you murmured, refusing to break eye contact.

The mauve haired boy’s uninterested expression softened at the dispute in your eyes, the corner of his mouth tugging into a small grin. Looking at you properly this time, like he really saw you as a person, not just some random stranger that decided to follow him around.

“Sorry, but no,” Shinso stated, the usual indifference lacing his tone, the smile falling from his face. “I’m not looking to make friends or rivals.”

You giggled mischievously at him, the purple of his eyes side-eyeing you with weariness. “You’re cute,” you state bluntly, bouncing on the balls of your feet. His expression is replaced with a gawk at the pure boldness from you, red splotching on the apple of his cheeks. “You actually think you have a choice! See ya soon, rival!”

With that, you turn on your heel, searching for your homeless-looking homeroom teacher. You have the perfect recommendation for an intern.

“(L/N)?” he demanded, stunned by your sudden appearance.

You turned your head from your position on the floor, stretching, glancing toward his direction. “Hey, rival.” The boy looked slightly different from the last time you had seen him, with a bandage-like material wrapped around his neck, similar to Aizawa’s.

Hopping onto your feet, you brushed the dust off your hands, walking onto the mat placed in the middle of the gym as Aizawa spoke up. “Shinso, you’re training with (L/N) today. It’s a joint training to access your weaknesses, first to get knocked down or pushed off the mat loses,” he said, his expression never changing.

Bending down a bit, you prepared to make a move before the boy with lavender hair stopped you in your footsteps. “How the hell did you get Aizawa-sensei to agree to this?” he asked with an amused look in his eyes.

Smirking, you peered up through your lashes, looking at him with faux innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Yes, you do. At the Sports Festival, you told Aizawa about the general studies student, but Aizawa was already aware of the male since he had taken note of him. Unsurprisingly to you, your teacher decided to mentor the student, and it took a lot of bribing and coaxing for you to convince him to join just one training session, but that’s all you needed.

You stiffened immediately, your eyes glazing over as you become immobile, not even able to process or think properly. You watch the white of your rival’s teeth move, and the next thing you know, you blink, conscious, and off the mat. The stoic male wore a bored expression on his face as your eyes widen in realization, he just brainwashed you.

It was as if a match sparked over you as you glared at him. Lunging forward instantly, taking the purple-haired boy by surprise, you brought your leg up to kick him in the shin as he lost balance. Without giving him a chance to catch his breath, you pounced, both arms wrapping around his torso as you tackled him, or at least tried to. It seemed that Aizawa had been training his student well because the tackle didn’t do anything besides move him backward. Quickly, you leaped back, creating a space.

The boy’s ruffled hair from his night’s sleep and current fight had strands sticking together, slick with sweat. “What, that’s all you got?” Shinso asked, but you bit back a sharp remark, refusing to take the bait again.

Failing to evade the knee that came straight for your abdomen, the impact knocked you back slightly but lacked to knock you down. You were taken aback by his speed and accuracy, and for a second, you wanted to smile at the growth of the male that stood in front of you, it was like he wasn’t the same boy that had lost to Midoriya.

Focusing on the match at hand, you dodged his next onslaught of attacks, moving efficiently to evade them with the slight knowledge of his fighting style from the Sports Festival. Thanking yourself for forcing all those hours you spent training your physical abilities, you moved forward the moment you noticed Shinso starting to take labored breaths from his never-ending assaults. However, before you could even register what was happening, Shinso loosened the material around his neck, effectively capturing you amid some ridiculously strong bandages. With the help of the capture tape, he swung you around, gathering momentum before releasing you. Before you were thrown off the mat, though, you grabbed the white scarf and pulled yourself safely in bounds.

With record speed, you raced across to meet Shinso, the capture material moving forward to shield its wielder from an attack, but you abruptly shot your arm up, tensing the male’s muscles you pushed it out of your way, continuing your route to the lilac haired male. Using your remaining strength before your sight dotted from vertigo, a drawback to your Quirk, you used both of your arms to grasp onto his, crouching you flip him over.

Falling flat on the mat, you heaved a breath and closed your eyes to regulate the spottiness surrounding you. When you heard shuffling, you peaked an eye open, pointedly-eyeing the hovering male.

“You’ve gotten better,” you commented.

Shinso let out a soft chuckle. “You’re not half bad,” he countered, crossing his arms before adding, “besides when you became a sore loser and just hopped back in here without a word.”

You gave him a non-threatening pointed look, “hey! I forgot about the brainwashing bit for a second there. Can you blame me?”

Scoffing, you took his outreached hand and pulled yourself up with his combined effort.

“I mean for a rival, that was just sad,” mused Shinso, running a hand through his hair, tufts of purple sticking out in random directions, suiting him.

The corners of your mouth lifted up into a smile, a slight stinging sensation from the cut on your lip from the fight somehow, but you didn’t care as your smile widened into a brilliant grin since Shinso finally acknowledged you. “Rival, huh?” you laughed, feeling absolutely delirious.

After Shinso acknowledged you as his rival, you both became training partners and soon enough close friends. Before either of you knew it, you were already in your second year at U.A., and your purple-haired friend had been accepted into the hero course.

You’re not exactly sure when you started developing feelings for the boy. Maybe it was the moment he exposed his perfectly aligned teeth, glowing with happiness and hope. Or it was his innate ability to spark a conversation with anyone, despite having a reserved and calm attitude. Even stating that he had no interest in making friends, yet you swiveled your way in and surrounded him with support, along with Kaminari, the greenette, Midoriya, and even the cerulean blue-eyed Monoma. Or it’s his aspiration to usurp anyone who walked the same path as him to become a Pro. Either way, there was no denying the flutters roaming around in your stomach.

As you heaved, trying to catch your breath, your exercise friend was doing the same, but talking about something, you weren’t really paying attention to his words. Just hearing his voice made your stomach tingle and your heart beat erratically in your chest so hard that it felt it’d burst. You followed the beads of sweat trickle down his face and run onto his lips, focusing how the red of his tongue would peak out to catch the salty droplets.

When your eyes met, you swore that your heart thumped so hard that it was audible, even for him. His eyes, those deep magenta orbs that could tell a whole story just by looking at them, felt like you were injected with liquid adrenaline into your bloodstream, and the entire zoo grew rampant in your chest. Shinso’s cat-like eyes felt like looking into the sun for too long-- a maze you could get lost in and soon enough be blinded by. He was so effortlessly looking handsome.

And his hands. The same slender ones that have been on you time and time again, training after training. The image of his hands brushing against your own as you walk flickers throughout your mind, growing into a daydream of your own intertwining. Suddenly you speak, “Hitoshi, I like you.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise at your confession, mouth ajar, and hand frozen on his capture material. The intensity of his gaze put a crack in your steely disposition as you glance the other way. “But don’t worry. I don’t expect you to say anything, I just wanted to get that off my chest.

You watched as Shinso grinned, shaking his head in disbelief, his arm rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He wasn’t one to smile much, never having much reason to and the fact that it took too much effort. But every time you spoke, you somehow made the corners of his mouth tug upwards each time. You didn’t merely speak words with no meaning behind. With every word you spoke, they were curt, straight to the point, and your conversations didn’t need the time-consuming falsehood of small talk. So, it was no surprise when you bluntly admit your feelings to your crush.

Like you promised, you never forced Shinso to speak up about your confession, not once asking if he felt the same way. You guys’ relationship continued to grow without a hitch, but that never stopped you from making flirtatious remarks with the male from time to time. A cheeky grin permanently painted across your face every time you were with him.

Scrambling up to your feet, you hurriedly made your way over to him despite your aching muscles. Clasping your hands around his neck in a chock-hold, you used your legs, dropping him on the ground right then and there.

“What were you saying about beating me?” you asked, laughing in between pants.

After three years of regular quirkless and quirkful combat with Shinso, you both had improved drastically every battle with one another. It took you everything to drop him over your shoulder like before, but you collapsed on the ground next to him, panting as soon as you did.

“I’m going to kick your ass,” Shinso retorted, looking at you. Picking up on your exhaustion, he rolled over, immediately entrapping you with his weight as he grabbed both arms with his own, pinning you down.

“That’s not fair! The match was already over,” you pouted, however made no effort to push him off. He grinned, breathing out, his breath fanning over your face. It took mere seconds for him to realize the close proximity of your two faces, his own heating up, instantly taking on a rose hue. He hastily scrambled off of you, looking away as he tried to calm his face.

“Damn, I was hoping to be wrapped in your arms for longer,” you teased, whipping a fake tear delicately from your face.

He coughed at your words, choking on the water as his head snaps at you from the comment, hints of pink still present on his cheek. “Huh? Wha--”

“Relax,” you scoffed, propping yourself up with your elbows. “I’m just fucking with you.” As you made your way to your bags that were thrown onto the floor, you patted the male’s toned back as to acquiesce that everything’s alright. But before you can maneuver around him, Shinso’s hand latches itself on your wrist.

“Wait,” he murmurs, pulling you toward him. You make no move to pull away, feeling safe and secure in his arms, not the edge of intensity that comes with dancing with danger in your daily life as a hero-in-training. Subconsciously, you find yourself leaning into Shinso’s embrace, even more, an affectionate smile on his face.

He tugs your cheek softly. “I like you too.” You stay silent, holding your breath as the pad of his thumb brushes against the skin he just pulled, and fingertips lightly grazing your jaw, you find yourself leaning into his palm, the ends of your lips tipping up slightly. You two focus on one another’s eyes, and all your common sense shuts down because the attention he’s giving you his startling, the vibrant violet of his orbs near closer, stealing your breath.

You brought your hands to the back of his neck, and in an instant, his lips found yours with a content sigh. Your eyes flutter shut, and even in darkness, you see light exploding. Although his movements were gentle and slow, his lips were firm, the two of you moving in perfect sync, sending shivers down your back. With each move, the blurred lines of your friendship beginning to clear, forming something new entirely. Parting your lips, you sighed as he slowly pulled away from the kiss, his lips plump and red.

Fluttering your eyes open, you find Hitoshi wearing a sweet smile on his face, filled with affection. His smile was one of happiness growing, much like spring flowers. You could see how it came from deep inside to light his eyes and spread into every part of him. While your heart was pounding, and your lips were still pulsing from the way he kissed you, the silly smile never fell from your face.

“Finally.”

You and Shinso have been dating for five years now, debuting and growing as Pro Heroes. As time passed, your love for him got even stronger. Whenever he looked at you, it was like every ounce of air was taken from your lungs, floating in the sky like a midnight smoke cloud. Every time your lips tangled, the world would stop, leaving just the two of you wandering the earth together. When the two of you cuddle, and he holds your face between his hands, it’s like he’s keeping you in an eternity of security.

When the two of you were patrolling the streets, you came across chaos and panicked citizens. In the distance, there were flickering flames that hinted something deadly.

“Stay near me, (Y/N), and be careful,” Hitoshi announced as you catch up to his hurried pacing, nodding in acknowledgment, walking right into the heat of battle. The scene you were met with was unlike the disarray clues you had witnessed from the running citizens earlier.

All around, you could see the burning of bright orange flames as they devoured everything in their path. Your nose scrunched up in alarm from the smell of charred concrete and ash as they dusted the air. The moment you observed your surroundings, you wished you hadn’t. You narrowed your eyes as a menacing creature hovered around a horde of panicked civilians that desperately tried to scramble away. The beast had an ugly beak head with wings and extra limbs, and bloodlust radiating out of its beady eyes. It’s what every Pro has been acquainted with, a Nomu.

“Ready?” he grunted, quickening his pace to match yours.

“Always,” you answered, reaching out an arm, and in an instant, you immobilized the Nomu-like creature grasping hold of one of the unfortunate bystanders, your boyfriend running by you with his capture scarf in tow.

You rushed over to the person ungracefully falling with its captor. Grabbing the man’s arm, you slung him over your shoulder as you hauled him to safety. The man gasped out a thank you, slumping over a wall a fair distance away from the fighting, trying to catch his breath.

When you ran back into action, you and Hitoshi captured villains, the Nomu, and protected citizens. Multiple other heroes had arrived at the scene at this point, and the creature had been dragged out of by policemen, sirens echoing down the streets.

You had been rambling to your boyfriend about your costume, mentioning that you’d need to see Hatsume soon for some upgrades, but as you glanced over at him, you recognized the far offness in his eyes.

“Hitoshi?” you ask with furrowed brows, snapping your finger in front of him.

He blinks, his hands finding purchase around your waist. He pulls you closer as he nudges his head between your neck, and you wrap your arms around him. “I love you,” he whispers into your hair. Pulling back slightly, he reaches for your hands, interlocking them. A light smile adorned your face as you looked into his unblinking dark purple eyes.

“Will you marry me?”

Now, as you stand in front of your soon to be husband, you feel the way your heartbeat picks up while your lungs fill with more air, but at the same time, you feel incredibly light. This is it. You’re seriously going to marry the love of your life.

There is so much to admire about him like his raw honesty. The way his words spill out real slow as if the truth can take its time. There’s like a force behind them, yet the kind that is respectful and quiet-- an observant and patient determination. He supports your pure, unadulterated personality, the good and bad. But of everything, it was looking in his eyes you loved the most. That’s all you ever needed to connect, just you and him, eyes, no words.

“You may now kiss.”

Shinso ran the tip of his tongue along his lower lip, gently drawing you closer to him, placing both hands on either side of your face. You two share a brief but deep kiss, yet you two are still grinning afterward as cheers from friends and families surround the two of you like magic, causing you to shiver in complete pleasure and ecstasy.

In a world of chaos, the two of you find a place where togetherness means peace, where savage winds cease, and no clouds can block the warmth of the brightening rays.

And neither of you would want to have it any other way.

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imaginesmai · 4 years

Text

Peter Parker - I’ll find my way to you(1)

Did I watch Far From Home and decided to write about it instead of doing responsable things? Of course. This will be a little different to what you’re used to do, becuase I’ll follow the movie and dialogues mostly, only that reader is the romantic interest instead of MJ. Hope you enjoy it, I’m really excited for this series!

If Tumblr fucks this fic up and doesn’t show the tags I’m suing them

Plot: Peter Parker couldn’t be more excited for the trip. It wasn’t only the best vacation he could dream of - I mean, Europe? Cool - but they also gave him the chance to spend more time with you, his new found crush that makes him stutter and blush. He should have known that something would get in the way.

Spider Man far from home featuring Peter Parker as a clueless, cute baby and reader, who is Bucky Barnes’ daughter and as badass as her father.

Warnings: far from home spoilers - but come on, you’ve seen it.

“I have a plan”

Peter all but fell on the chair, dropping his bag on the ground and making a few classmates look his way. He had just ran through the hallways, nearly colliding with a few people in his way. But if he wanted to talk to Ned before the class started, and the rest of the students came in, he had to be quick. Flash was talking about how the teacher had to grab some books from the library before starting the lesson, and he had took his chance; because lately, finding Ned alone was something weird.

Said boy looked at his friend with raised eyebrows, and put his notebook away. He had been making a list about the best ways to impress an European girl, something he didn’t want to forget. Ned was determinated to meet some pretty girl and impress them with his American accent; Peter had a hard time believing that, but he didn’t dare to break his hopes.

Before talking, he made sure there was no one around who could listen to their conversation.

“Okay, first. I’m gonna sit next to Y/N on the flight” Peter rushed his words out, and Ned hummed. “Second, I’m gonna buy a duple headphone adapter and watch movies with her, the whole time”

“Right” Ned nodded, his eyebrows furrowing as Peter kept talking.

“Three, when we go to Venice – Venice is super famous for making stuff out of glass, right?”

“True”

“So I’m gonna buy her a bright read star necklace, cause her favourite colour is red” Peter shrugged, moving his hands around. “And because of, well”

“It reminds her of her father, a worldwide recognised assassin but also the man who lives five blocks away from your apartment” Ned completed. “Didn’t he drive you to the last decathlon competition?”

“Yeah, her father” Peter nodded, not even blinking at Ned’s words. “Four. When we get to Paris, I’m gonna get her to the top of the Eiffel tower, give her the necklace, and then five, I’m gonna tell her how I feel. And then six hopefully she tells me… she feels the same way”

“Oh, don’t forget step seven” Ned crossed his arms in front of his chest, and Peter missed the sarcastic remark as he reached again for his notebook, where he had written down all the steps. “Don’t do any of that”

Brown, tired eyes met Ned, and the boy felt bad for about a second. It was obvious that Peter had been having a hard time in the last months; Tony’s death, the feeling of being on borrowed time because of the ‘blip’, and the pressure of being Spiderman in a world who needed superheroes more than ever. He could count with the fingers of one hand how many hours of good sleep he had gotten that week, and they were on Wednesday. Besides, he was also stressing with the stupid plan with the steps, and the final trip to Europe.

May had had the idea of writing down the steps. He had come to her – after Ned proved to be useless for it and Happy refused to talk about girls – when he had realized he had feelings for someone. Not just someone, but one of his new friends who shared with him more than just a friendship. Y/N Barnes, friend and work-colleague, talking about avengers. And of course, crush.

“Why” he sighed, not even asking. He thought of himself as a balloon that had just been poked with a sharp needle, and was slowly deflating.

“Because we’re gonna be bachelors in Europe, Peter!” Ned said, his voice too similar to a whine.

“Ned…”

“Look, I may not know much, but I do know this” he nodded at his friend to make sure he was still listening. “Europeans love Americans”

“Really?” Peter tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, knowing that probably Europeans didn’t really care about them. If he was European, he would sure not give a damn about America.

“And more than half of them are women!”

“Okay, sure. But… I really like Y/N” he gave him a tight smile. “She’s awesome. She’s super funny in a kind of a dark way. And sometimes I catch her looking at me and I feel like I’m – She’s coming – don’t say anything!”

Ned looked to his right, and indeed, another person walked in class. Betty waved from the door at you and you gave her a small smile, still not used to her and having so many teenage attention to yourself. Still, you made an effort and contributed to some of her conversations, although most of them were monologues. Again, that feeling that Ned had had about being wrong just moments ago came back when you looked at them and lighted up at the sight of Peter.

Not a lot of people noticed, but you were nothing like your father. The stereotype of a bad mean soldier died when someone talked with you for a few minutes. You were shy, liked puppies and colour pink, and even if your jokes sometimes crossed the line of personal baggage and were a little too dark, you were funny.

You clutched the big sketchbook to your chest and skipped towards your friends. Peter kicked Ned softly under the desk to avoid him saying anything about the plan, and Ned just chuckled awkwardly.

“Hi” you smiled at them, dimples on your cheeks that made Peter mess with the pen on the desk. “Excited about the trip?

“Hey. Uh, yeah” Peter tried not to make it too obvious that he was staring at you, so he looked at Ned. “We’re just – talking about the trip”

“Yeah, and Peter’s plan”

“You have a plan?” you raised your eyebrows, and Peter felt himself stopping breathing for a moment.

“I-I don’t… I d-don’t have plan”

“He’s just gonna collect tiny spoons while we’re traveling through all the countries”

The wink that he sent his friend wasn’t at all discreet, because to do so Ned moved all his face along with his left eye. Peter didn’t feel any better with the answer, if anything it made him feel a small pressure on his chest. He turned the pen around his fingers as he looked at you again, who thankfully, looked unsuspicious. In times like that he was grateful that you still hadn’t caught everything about the sarcasm and indirect intentions.

But even you, who spent more than half of your life locked in a cell and used as leverage for the winter soldier, knew that it was something weird to do. So you hummed and made a small grimace.

“Like a – like a grandmother?”

“I’m not collecting tiny spoons” he scoffed, pointing with the pen at Ned. “He’s collecting tiny spoons”

“Oh. Okay. Well… that was… a real rollercoaster”

Peter’s eyes drifted to your wrist as you moved your hands around, and his previous mood fell like a ton of bricks. He knew he should be thankful that you were allowed to come with them to Europe, since your father wasn’t welcomed in at least half of the countries. Thick, black bracelets fell on your wrist, a huge contrast to your delicate skin. They had a small red light that was always on, unless you broke one of the rules Thaddeus Ross had set.

He had been there when the secretary forbid you to leave the country, using words as ‘freak’ and ‘danger’. Between your father, Sam and a little bit of help of Pepper Potts, he had agreed as long as you carried the bracelets. Peter himself had threatened to go and talk to him too, rambling and speeding across the walls and ceilings as he traumatised May. But then, you had asked him to stay put, and he could never say no to you.

Peter bit his lip and tried to hide his discomfort at seeing your wrists. You had to endure enough from the rest of the classmates, and he would hate himself if you dropped that smile.

“By the way, my dad gave me some stuff for you” you changed the topic, digging into your backpack for something. A metal, clanking noise came from inside. “Told me you should have it since I’m not even allowed to cut an apple if I want to stay out of jail. In case something happen”

“What – don’t!”

Peter jumped out of his seat and pushed your hand back into the bag, careful of the sharp edges. He was too busy pushing the knives back into the bag to notice how your hands touched for more than one second, or to admire how your cheeks turned pink and you eyes went wide. You were so close that he could smell your vanilla scent, and you could see the wrinkles of his sweater’s neck.

The whole class seemed to disappear around as he finally noticed what he had done. Peter was always careful of not being too close to you, in case you could get overwhelmed – like in your first day of highschool – or feel uncomfortable. His own cheeks went red, and the tips of his ears started to burn. He pulled his hand out of your bag so quick that he got a scratch on his palm; not that he cared, as he jumped back to his seat and almost fell out of the chair.

“Did you bring knives to class?” Ned squealed out. A girl nearby had noticed, but she chose to turn away.

“Well, not knives” you tried to explain. “They are like – uh – daggers? Throwing daggers. Dad got them from internet, and some of them have dents so that when you stab someone –“

“Okay, class! I’m here!” the teacher cut your conversation, and a flow of students filled the class.

You quickly ran to your place at the back, besides another boy your age, and Peter tried to follow you as you moved. He could have sworn that you smiled when you passed his side, but he wanted it so bad to be true that he could have imagined it. Most of the times he thought you were looking at him in class, and when he looked at you, there was nothing to see. Sure, you liked to sit beside him at lunch time, and never turned down an awkward proposal for a “date” with Peter, although he was the only one calling them that, as nothing ever happened.

Still, he allowed himself a sweet second of happiness as he watched you greet your classmate and pull down your sketchbook.

“Dude” Ned chuckled behind him, and Peter stared with amused eyes. “I think that went really great”

“Yo, Parker”

Peter turned around and saw Flash calling him from the other side of the plane. He was sitting on the closest side of the window, but even from there he could see the boy’s smug smirk. So far, the whole ‘getting into the plane and not having any problem’ was going good. He had his headphone adapter on his right hand, and was preparing himself to tell Ned to change places with MJ and let him sit with you. The rest of the class seemed fine too, and he was enjoying the trip so far.

But of course not a lot of things in his life went right, and he felt his mood lower down a bit when Flash called him. He fidgeted with the adapter on his hands and nodded at him.

“This is called an airplane” Flash said, and to Peter utter mortification, you stopped right beside his seat to look at Flash. “It’s like the busses you’re used to, except they fly over the poor neighbours instead of driving through them”

“Madam?” a kind looking woman appeared beside Flash and looked at you, smiling. “He blipped, so technically he’s sixteen, not twenty one”

“I’ll take that”

“No – no she’s – s-she’s lying! I don’t even –“

Flash trailed behind the woman as he tried to take back the drink, giving you the nastiest look he could manage. Which wasn’t too big, as he was mostly embarrassed.

When you had first arrived to Midtown, two years ago after you father went to Wakanda and Tony – as a favour to Steve, who was like you uncle – let you stay with him and attend highschool, Flash thought you were pretty. He followed you everywhere you went, tried to win you over with the stupidest and most expensive details about his life and invited you to every party. Then, he noticed that you ignored him in favour of staying with Peter, who you had met in that airport fight. And from that moment, he liked to pretend he hadn’t liked you at all.

Once he was gone, you looked at Peter and gave him a small, shy smile. He smiled back, his face melting at the sight of you. He almost dropped the headphone adapter as he watched past by, if it wasn’t for Ned catching it in the last second.

“Classic of Y/N, right?” Brad Davis appeared out of thin air, following you into the airplane and making Peter drop his smile.

“Did you know Brad was coming?” he asked Ned once the boy was out; although he didn’t stop looking at him.

“It’s… so weird” Ned chuckled, looking at Brad too. “Like, one day he’s a little kid that cried and got nosebleeds all the time, and suddenly we blip back and he’s totally ripped and super nice. And all this girls are after him”

“Not all the girls are after him”

“No man, they’re all after him”

Peter felt a sudden weight on his chest that he couldn’t describe. Brad was helping you to put your handbag on the top part of the plane, apparently saying something funny; really funny, because you weren’t using that fake smile you put when you didn’t get what was funny or what people were talking about. The sound of your laugh usually made his stomach flutter, but that time it made him feel sick. He knew he was selfish for thinking that way – you were allowed to have friends, to be interested in someone, and to like Brad.

But he didn’t know all of that, it was just you laughing with Brad. He was so busy drowning in his own feelings that he missed how you looked at him once more before sitting beside MJ.

“Anyway” Ned went back to his bag, taking out his computer. “Onto more important things, it’s an nine hour flight. We play beast slayers the whole time”

“I need your help sitting next to Y/N” Peter blurted out, finally tearing his eyes away from Brad.

“Seriously?” Ned sighed. He left his computer on the desk and tried to look miserable to Peter, who was too busy already tearing his seatbelt away.

“Yes, seriously”

“What about our plan? American bachelors in Europe?”

“That’s your plan. That’s a solo plan. Come on, this is my plan” Peter tried to remember how May told him that he could get almost anything with those puppy eyes, so he put them on for Ned; who couldn’t be more unbothered by them. But Peter really, really wanted to sit with you. “Please”

Ned threw his head back and scoffed, leaving the computer back on the bag and tugging at his own seatbelt. Maybe the puppy eyes didn’t work with him, but Peter was glad to have such a good friend.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Tom Holland and Peter Parker Taglist

@delicately-important-trash

@lexxxistrips

@aikaterrina

@zalladane

@gypsystuf (since you didn’t answer me, I just put you on the general taglist. Let me know if you want to change!)

@nikkixostan

@galaxystern08

@justifymyfeelings

@dummiesshort

@marvelhoesworld

@wild-rose-35

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stormgardenscurse · 3 years

Text

Pearls and Apples - Part 1

A/N: A belated birthday fic for the one and only Epel Felmier!

This mermaid AU is also a collab with @dumplings0ups !

The ocean was mostly a dark place; sunlight only breached through shallow waters, leaving its glow to gradient into murkiness by the time one reached the seabed. By then, any foreign lifeform unacquainted to it was sure to lose their way, ensuring that humans would never hope to reach the underwater city tucked in its depth; lit aglow with magic and architecture.

When he’d finally deemed you trustworthy enough to divulge this, you’d mentioned that a thing like that sounded like a scene out of a fairytale - something that never crossed his mind as such until put into perspective by a human.

‘I guess… It’s kind of cool, huh?’

‘It is!’ You’d agreed, and perhaps it was around then that Epel continued sharing bits of his world with you. He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen into the habit of trying to make you smile like that, but by the time he realized it was a little too late.

Well… Maybe it’s not too bad of a thing anyways. Sure, it was dangerous to be friends with a human and risk being caught by your kind - but interacting with you was something that he enjoyed, for better or worse. Despite your contrasting backgrounds, there was a similar wonder that you shared when it came to learning about one another’s worlds. The way you lit up as you learned more about his life, which was so different from yours… It was the same wonder he felt, when you’d first met.

Initially, Epel ventured to shallow waters as the result of a swole of anger - he barely recalls what bothered him enough for such a thing that day, but he’d swam past the outskirts of the city where he lived and into quieter waters to cool down. Except-- in his occupied state he hadn’t realized just how far he’d gotten, in his want to escape to somewhere that was easier to breathe and think.

Perhaps it was for those reasons that he subconsciously carried himself upwards, feeling the coolness of the current that grazed him like a passing breeze. He liked fighting against it at times, but on that day it was as if it led him along to the shore, with the echoes of a friend that understood he needed a distraction.

That was when he belatedly notices that the water felt warmer, and the shadows around him turned to a soft blue that was different from what he might see back at the city. It was a raw display of sunlight sifting through the shallows, something that he’s only seen a few times on special occasions with others.

Though Epel was alone here now, without a single purpose in mind. He was close enough to touch the surface - and driven by the thought he might be able to see clearer with his head above water, Epel stilled his resolve and propelled himself towards the open world.

His first thought, as he gasped in surprise, was that it truly did feel different… The shock of a different atmosphere woke him up a bit, though he didn’t feel as if he was in danger. He craned his head up to look at the sky, a canvas of endless clouds and blues.

It was like another ocean of its own, one that was bright and weightless, and so very out of reach.

Among the next times Epel found himself around the shallows, he’d followed the sight of birds that were returning to nest further inland; a part of the duchy that you served in as a knight.

Of course, even if he was reckless, he wasn't a total idiot. Epel caught the sound of metal on metal and hid beneath the water as he tried to find its source, which was your squadron on the training grounds. The seaside area was a place of open land, which meant that Epel didn't need much of an elevation point to watch as the humans sparred and ran drills in an impressive tempo. He started to visit every few weeks, finding a similar sight every time - though the groups that trained would change, some with more precision and strength than the others.

During his observations he was able to infer which items were weapons or tools, and which animals humans considered domesticated - it isn't as if Epel was overtly curious about land-life, but there was something about it that kept him intrigued enough to return.

(A little part of himself however is well aware he'd initially been netted by the scene of swordplay. It looked impressive, with fluid movements and strength behind every blow - though he expected that if submerged in water, even the most trained officer may find themselves at a loss with how to swing their sword. It was proven on a tale long ago, where a ship had sunken by the hands of a storm in the middle of the ocean...)

Stories aside, Epel should've known his encounter-less visits wouldn't last that way. With a populated area there was sure to be people that visited the beach every now and again. The first time he sees you, it'd been during your break where you'd found yourself drawn to the refreshing promise of the waves. You were to return to running drills again soon, but a quick moment with the breeze on your face wouldn't be too bad, right?

Epel slipped back into the water before you could notice him, but hesitated from turning away to swim home upon catching the sight of you; attire like the others that used the sword, weapon tucked out of sight, and a curious fruit in your hands that was as red as the richest coral.

It stayed like that for a while, with you sat on the sand and taking a breather as he hid. It'd probably been the longest ten minutes of his life, and even as you left, Epel counted another five before he dared to poke his head above the surface. Though by that time, any trace of you imprinted on the sand had been long washed off by the current.

The first time you noticed Epel, you’d thought he was a human boy - one that was too far out from land to be safe. And so, diligently even while you were off-duty, you’d discarded your heavier equipment to wade your way towards him.

...Unfortunately for him, he was too stupefied to come up with the easiest solution, which was to swim away like his life depended on it. Yet if he did, you may simply search for him further, as you weren’t one to give up on what you believed to be a duty; something he was able to gather from the times he’s seen you training and patrolling with more effort than the usual knight.

And that would mean that he could never show up here again, at the risk of being recognized and exposing himself more than he has. What if you’d described him to the authorities and told them to be on alert for a ‘missing boy’? Sure, it really shouldn’t be an issue for him to not be here anyways, but that wasn’t something that his panicked thoughts processed.

The idea of erasing your memory did cross his mind, but Epel then realised he didn’t know how to cast it well enough without you realizing something was up. Only his seniors might do so swiftly before diving into the water once more - for Epel, it may require a few moments of contact.

...A few moments he’d have to manage, somehow.

From his spot behind a stack, Epel calmed himself as much as he could before letting his form sink further into the water, hiding his tail and scales as much he could.

“Hey, are you alright?” Even in his muddled state he could tell you were fast on your feet. “It’s dangerous to be out this far, the current could sweep you in if you’re not careful.”

“I’m fine.” He manages to reply. “Thank you for worrying, but I’ll head home by myself later.”

You’d frowned, still concerned. “Maybe we should be back to shore together now. The wind is picking up... Whoa-!”

“What-” Epel snapped to attention, realizing that the water was pulling harder. “Ah, please be careful!”

“You’re telling me?!” Since when were the currents so aggressive?! Was it about to storm? “We need to head back, now!”

You were pulling Epel by the wrist, to which he’d flinched away by reflex but was still towed along by your grip. Figures the person that finds him was a knight… This level of righteousness was really screwing him over right now, coolness be damned!

“Let go!” He protested, yet before you could offer a response a strong wave swung the both of you off-balance, dragging you to and back - before he knew it, you were the one that was in need of rescuing. Epel steadies himself with a swish of his tail to cancel out the water’s, but you were nowhere to be seen.

Cursing, he submerged himself in an effort to spot you. Epel’s done a lot of things he likely shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t just let you drown. That might solve his problem of erasing your memories, but it wasn’t something he wanted to resort to.

As he secured a grip on your arm and dragged you back to the beach, Epel wasn’t sure what to do next - you were coughing and trying to steady your breathing, yet was able to roll onto your side to catch your breath once the sand cushioned you from beneath.

“Are ya alright?”

“You… You’re better at swimming than I thought.” You managed a wry smile. Some knight I am, getting rescued by a civilian.

Epel doesn’t have much to say to that, only a nervous chuckle. “I get that a lot... I guess.” He did, but not in this context exactly.

From the chaos, you were too focused on calming down to notice the elephant in the room. Or rather, the tail that grew from Epel’s hips and glistened with a lilac hue, clearly something out of a fairytale than the reality you knew.

He freezes when your eyes draw themselves to the sight, and it’s your turn to be rendered motionless.

“Is… Is that--”

Splash. He’s gone, with you left alone to process what happened for the rest of the day.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst epel #epel felmier #epel felmier x reader #twst epel x reader #twst x reader #twst scenarios #twst imagines #twst writing #twst reader insert #happy birthday epel #twst x you #storm writings #blooms #dtw imagines

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youare-mysonshine · 4 years

Text

unsteady || oscar diaz

Summary: Cesar and Oscar get into a fight and the reader lets Cesar know just how much his brother has done for him.

Requested: Yes

Hi, a request where Oscar and Cesar get into a fight after who knows what and Cesar says some really hurtful things to Oscar. Reader is watching doesn’t usually get involved in fights but Oscar walks off after Cesar says the hurtful things and reader get involved telling Cesar that he should be lucky he has Oscar, that Oscar has risked a lot of stuff for Cesar, etc. Then reader goes to the bedroom to see Oscar crying softly and she comforts him by kissing his tattoos and reassuring him.

A Oscar x reader where it takes place after his dad leaves again and he tells Cesar. So he finally opens up to you about everything later that night when he goes over to your house crying in your arms. After her tells you that he loves and to never leave him because you heal him. Lots of fluff for my man please he needs it

Pairing: Oscar Diaz x reader

Warnings: contains spoilers from s3 ep5, so if you haven’t watched the latest season or haven’t gotten to the fifth episode, keep scrolling. cussing, angst, fluff at the end.

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: my heart broke. I just wanna hug Oscar okay. I know he done some shit but they ain’t gotta do him like they did him this season. LEAVE OSCAR ALONE. But anyways lmao, I combined two requests that I got. I just thought they fit well together, so I hope that whoever requested them enjoys this and finds it to their liking. I obviously changed some stuff but tried to keep it as original to both requests as I could. Enjoy!

—————

It was around 8-9 pm when Cesar finally got home from the funeral in Brentwood. You had been sitting on the couch, flipping past the channels on the t.v, though you weren’t particularly paying attention. It was more so something to keep you occupied. Oscar was sitting at the dining room table, hand around a beer bottle, eyes focused intently on the hard wood table.

You could practically hear his thoughts, see his mind racing. The entire day, he’d been like that. It had been a rough day for him, and you had done your best to be there for him, but nothing could prepare either of you for when Cesar finally got home.

Oscar had been crushed once again when Ray walked out of their lives, but he had been through it once before. Did it make it easier? No. Did it make the anger he felt lessen any less? No. But knowing his baby brother wasn’t a baby anymore, knowing he had to tell him their dad walked out on them again, that’s what was eating away at him. The first time Ray left, Cesar was too little to even remember him. That’s the only positive side - Oscar carried the burden. Dealt with the anger and sadness of their dad leaving, not Cesar. But this time? This was something he couldn’t protect him from.

Cesar walked through the door and flashed you a smile in greeting.

“Hey.” He spoke, shutting the wooden door behind him. Oscar, hearing the front door open and shut, stood up from where he was sitting, eyes locked on his brother as he finally came into view. You gave Cesar a small smile, returning the greeting. You grabbed the remote control and shut the t.v off, it being the last thing on your mind. Now noticing Oscar standing up, slowly walking towards him, and you looking at him with what he could only describe as sadness in your eyes, Cesar grew concerned. And that’s when he noticed it.

All of Ray’s things were gone.

Given that the house was relatively small, Ray had taken to sleeping on the couch. And since he had arrived, the living room had been rather unkempt, his things had been strewn about on the small coffee table in front of the couch.

“What’s going on? Where’s Ray? Where are his things?” He asked. Oscar’s face was hardened, but you could see the emotion in his eyes. He was hurt. Angry that his dad had put this all on him. That his dad had basically sent him to hurt Cesar and deliver the news.

“Cesar, come sit.” You patted the spot beside you and for a few seconds, he did nothing except look between you and Oscar, before finally relenting and occupying the space beside you on the couch.

“Where is Ray?” He asked again, looking up at his big brother. Oscar was looking at the ground, mouth set into a thin line. A few seconds went past before he finally spoke.

“He left.” There it was. The words Oscar had dreaded to say to his little brother.

“What? What do you mean he left? Left where?” Cesar asked, his face falling.

“He packed up his shit and he left. Didn’t say where but I’m guessing Bakersfield.” Oscar answered, voice deep and gruff.

Cesar was incredulous, not wanting to believe it was true. His heart was racing, you could see, that just like Oscar, his mind was going a mile a minute. His hands clenched at his pants, his knuckles turning pale white. He shook his head, eyes on the coffee table before looking back up at Oscar.

“He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.” Your heart broke. You had been pissed when you found Oscar sitting on the living room couch, looking like a lost and fragile child, only for him to tell you that his father had bailed out again. From the get go, you understood both sides - Oscar was older than Cesar, thus he remembered more. He remembered the hurt and anger when Ray first left. He had to shoulder the responsibility of raising his baby brother, he had to be a father all while still a child himself. But you also understood that while Cesar may have looked at Oscar like a father figure, he, of course, desired to have a relationship with his actual father. You couldn’t fault him for that. And you had hoped with all of your heart that Ray wouldn’t do what he did again, that he wouldn’t hurt Cesar and Oscar more than he did already. But it was wishful thinking.

“He did.”

Cesar jumped into defensive mode, eyes and face hardening. He stood up off the couch and you had a bad feeling. The brothers had gotten in plenty of arguments and fights, you had been with Oscar long enough to witness some of them, but you had always chosen to not get involved - they already worked on their shit and figured it out.

“What did you do?” The younger Diaz bit out, getting in his brother’s face.

“I didn’t do shit.” Oscar answered.

“Exactly. You didn’t do shit. You could have helped him find a new job or something. But instead you chose not to.”

“I don’t have that kind of power.”

 “Oh bullshit! I bet this makes you so happy.”

“Happy? I’m your brother. For most of your life I’ve been your dad. If you’re gonna be mad at someone, be mad at him. He’s the one that up and left. Again.”

It was when Cesar shoved Oscar back that you finally stood up and made a move toward the young teen.

“Okay, that’s enough. Cesar, stop. Stop.” You had tried to no avail, Cesar ignoring you and shoving Oscar again. Your boyfriend waved you off, not wanting you to get involved or get hurt. Then he focused on the hurt boy, calling his name, trying to get him to calm down.

“Cesar. Ces-“

“Monse was right. You are cursed. Everything bad that has happened to me is because of you.”

The room went silent. You could hear nothing but the crickets chirping outside. Oscar’s face visibly fell. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His eyes had taken an emotion that you could only describe as hurt, sadness.. heartache. It absolutely shattered your heart. And it made you angry more than anything else. Oscar didn’t do or say anything. He just turned around and walked down the hallway. You could hear the bedroom door open and then slam shut.

Cesar was breathing hard, panting, eyes angry and hard. But you certainly weren’t gonna let him get away with his behavior, no matter how angry he was at his brother.

“What the hell was that, Cesar?” You asked, eyes blazing as you focused your attention on your boyfriend’s little brother.

“All of this is his fault! He made Ray leave, he-“ You cut him off, holding a hand up.

“First of all, no - it’s not his fault. You’re forgetting that this isn’t the first time Ray has walked out on you, Cesar. You were too little to remember it back then, but he left you once before! Oscar didn’t make Ray do anything he didn’t want to do. That man left on his own free will. I get that you’re angry, but what you’re not gonna do is blame Oscar for something your dad did. Twice.” You said.

“And second - Oscar raised you. When your dad left, when your mom was gone or high - he raised you. He didn’t have to, but he did. He gave up opportunities. He gave up hopes and dreams just to stay here and take care of you, and don’t you forget that. I get that the shit with Latrelle shooting Olivia and Ruby started because of him, I get it. I’m not saying that he’s innocent but you don’t know how it eats away at him - that shit’s with him everyday. He thinks about it everyday. He lives with it everyday. Oscar has done way more for you than Ray ever did. I get that you wanted a relationship with your dad, but who was more of a dad to you? Ray? Or Oscar? You should be lucky that you have Oscar because there are people out there that have no one. If he was somebody else, he could left you here. He’s made mistakes, he’s paid for them. He’s still paying for them. You don’t know half of the shit he’s done or has had to do just to keep you safe. To keep you and your friends safe. It’s so easy to paint him as the bad guy, but don’t forget - he’s your brother and he loves you more than anything. Don’t take your anger out on him.”

Cesar stayed silent through and after that, not saying a single word. His eyes fell to the ground, hands clenched in fists. You had never raised your voice Cesar - you chose not to get involved in arguments with Oscar and his brother, but this time you could stay silent hearing the way Cesar was talking to himS You’d be the first to after that Oscar wasn’t perfect - he made mistakes, grave ones, but you had also seen how much he carried on his shoulder to ensure the safety of not only Cesar and his friends, but the entire neighborhood. He didn’t want anymore innocent people getting hurt, especially if it was because of him. But it was like Cesar and his friends couldn’t see that. They only say and focused on the bad. You couldn’t change everyone’s opinion, but you didn’t want Cesar having that opinion of his brother. You needed him to know just how much Oscar did for him, how much he loved him.

With one final look at Cesar, you walked away from him, heading down the hall towards the familiar door that led to the bedroom you and Oscar shared. What you saw when you opened the door broke your heart into a bunch of pieces.

Oscar was sitting on the bed, hunched over with his face in his hands. His shoulders shook softly and you could tell that he was crying.

“Oh, Oscar..” You shut the door behind you and immediately walked over to him. You gently removed his hands from his face and coaxed him to look up at you. When he did, you heart broke even more if it was possible. His cheeks were wet with tears, his eyes were slightly red, and his bottom lip and chin wobbled as a fresh set of tears came.

“He hates me.” He sounded like such a vulnerable and fragile child. His voice was broken, soft. Unlike the usual tone in which you heard him speak on the daily. This was someone who was hurting inside, and you desperately wanted to make the hurt go away. “He hates me and it’s all my fault.”

With your hands cupping his cheeks, you wiped away the free tears that had fallen, shaking your head. “No, baby. He doesn’t hate you. He’s angry, he’s hurt but he doesn’t hate you. When Ray left the first time, he was too young to remember. But now? This is something entirely new to him. He doesn’t know what to think or what to feel, and like you, the first thing he can think of is anger. Rage.”

“It’s all my fault. Latrelle, Ruby, Olivia.. Monse was right. I am cursed.” Oscar lowered his head and his shoulders began to shake again as he cried quietly. You sighed softly, closing your eyes so the tears that had welled up in your own eyes wouldn’t fall.

“Look at me, papas.” You had spoken softly once you composed yourself. You pressed a kiss against his head and coaxed him to look at you once more. You wiped away the tears once more and leaned in, pressing the tiniest kiss against the teardrop tattoo under his eye.

“You’ve made mistakes. We all have. But it’s not all your fault. You’re not cursed. Cesar doesn’t hate you. I see you, Oscar. The real you. I see all that you do to protect him, to keep him safe. I mean even with all that happened today - you were more upset about Cesar having to go through this, about having to tell him Ray left. Why? Because you just wanted to protect him, the way no one protected you when you were growing up. The streets raised you and you raised him - you’ve done so much for him, and I just told him that right now. He loves you, baby.”

“I never wanted him to have to go through that. I never wanted him to have to grow up with the hurt that I did when he left. It fucking.. it hurt so bad. When Ray left today.. I felt like a little kid all over again. Like it was the first time. And then I remembered that Cesar is older now, that he’ll remember this and.. fuck..” His voice cracked, but you stayed silent, letting him finish and get all that he needed off his chest. “I’ve messed up with him. Badly, after that shit that happened with Ruby getting shot and Olivia dying, kicking Cesar out - I fucked up. I know I did. I chose the Santos over my own brother.. I’ll never be able to make up for it, but I want to try. For him. Everything that I do, everything I’ve ever done is for him.”

Oscar’s hands, which had gravitated down to your hips, tightened slightly as he pulled you closer, looking up at you from his seated position on the bed with such an intense and vulnerable gaze that you couldn’t bring yourself to look away, even if you wanted to.

“I do it for you too, you know. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I just..” He paused, trying to find the right words. “You heal me, Y/N.” He said, and your eyes watered again. “You make me want to be a better person. A better man. I never ever want to lose you. I can’t lose you. I love you.”

With a tear drop falling down your cheek, you bent down ever so slightly. You leaned in and kissed his neck, specifically the Santos cross. You worked your way up, peppering little kisses against his jawline. It wasn’t sexual in the slightest, you just needed him to know that you were there. That you were there and you weren’t going anywhere. You worked your way up to his cheek, then the tear drop tattoo once more. There, you rested your forehead upon his. You locked eyes with your boyfriend, staring deep into them and hoping that you were conveying the love you had for him.

“I’m not going anywhere, Oscar. You’re stuck with me. Now and always. I love you. Good and bad. Nothing you can say or do will ever scare me away, okay? You’re a good man. You’re an amazing brother. Shit, you’re an amazing dad to Cesar. You raised him. You did and you alone. You did and do so much for him. I see all that you do, and I’m proud of you. I’m proud to be your’s.”

#netflix on my block #on my block imagine #oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz headcanon #oscar diaz omb #oscar diaz #oscar diaz smut #oscar diaz imagine #oscar spooky diaz #julio macias imagine #julio macias #cesar diaz #unsteady

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sasa-gay-yo · 3 years

Text

Just Us (Chapter Fourteen: Forget)

← Chapter Thirteen

His homecoming wasn’t eventful, nor was it welcomed by the others of Trost. They came back in the night, a tenth of what they left with, and yet people were still up to throw things out the windows at the Scouts as they proceeded to their base. I wasn’t awake for that part, and Jonas thought it was best to not wake me. He told me the next morning that he’d locked eyes with Levi and he almost shrunk away from the window. Jonas thought the rage he saw was directed at his presence, and he was probably half right, but the other was just towards the world in general.

He didn’t come into the cafe the next morning like he usually did. No. I was sure the Scouts would stay out of Trost for a while and their own safety. It never made sense to me though. The people of Trost would rejoice that the famine was over but in the same breath blame all hundred-some Scouts for not being able to protect millions of people. I held my tongue, giving the everlasting fake smile. There was no reason to fight anymore. They were home and most were safe. Levi was safe and in one piece and I would probably see him tonight.

Five months after they left.

Flowers were already growing out of the ground, and there was no need to wear a jacket anymore. Sometimes, I would go out and sit in the meadow facing the Scouts HQ, just like Levi and I had before. I would allow myself to sit and think clearly. Sometimes, I would sneak to the Scout HQ and feed the horses that were left behind for various injuries, evading the one Scout they left for the same reason. I’m sure the young boy knew I was there, but he seemed to not mind. I took feeding the horses off his daily to-do list. I wasn’t happy by any means, but after getting Jonas back, it made it easier to be alone with my thoughts.

“You don’t need to stay tonight, Jonas,” I told him, putting the chairs up so he could sweep the floor. He gave me an annoyed look, but nodded, understanding why.

“Just don’t forget about me even if he’s back,” it was a low whisper so he could try to hide the begging nature of it. I knew better than to let Jonas go this time.

“Don’t worry. How could I forget about your ugly face?" His mouth went wide and I laughed. Before I could dodge, a wet rag flew at my head, narrowly missing me.

That night, I sat on my couch reading some random book, waiting for a knock at the door. My heart was beating the whole time, and I couldn’t focus on the words I was trying to read. It had been so long since I’ve seen his face. Since I felt his touch. I wish I had some drawing to be able to look at his face instead of imagining him through his cursive or button-ups. Maybe I’d ask him to get one. There were random men who sat in the Trost city square and drew people for money. Maybe I would get him one of myself too, knowing that the small stitches on his cape wouldn’t last long. My mind was swirling with ideas, trying to keep it occupied. When the clock on the wall hit three in the morning, I was losing hope. In my hands now was the journal I’d faithfully written in for five months. It was the first thing I’d give to him, showing that I was still devoted despite the distance. Even if it was hard for him to read it, he told me to do it, and I did. Every single night I did. I wondered if he’d done something similar, but he probably wouldn’t want to share with me, nor recall the days he had outside of the walls.

At eight in the morning, Jonas had let himself in after yelling up from the very full cafe. He saw me sleeping on the couch, the journal still in my arms, no indication that Levi had been there. When he woke me up, I could tell there was pity in his eyes. I shied away from it, going to get dressed to work. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He’d just gotten back and it was hard to get into Trost without ridicule. He’d come eventually. I already felt more at ease knowing that he was alive anyway.

The next night, he didn’t come either. Then the next. Then the next. It turned into a week. Then another week. Every day, I would wake up and give him excuses. I would smile at Jonas and ask him how he slept. I would stare at his table in the cafe, now occupied by a different customer. Once the time kept ticking on, I knew that there wasn’t anything holding him back from coming. There wasn’t anything holding back from sending some letter or note with Erwin’s private service either. The only thing holding him back was himself, but I didn't want to come to that reality. How could someone who'd left me the way he did, lingering touches on my doorstep, not want to come back?

That’s how I ended up at the Scout HQ stables again. Their numbers had dwindled again, and by Levi’s past letters I knew when mandatory lunch service was. Again, I felt alone as the wind blew through my hair, yet this time I was staring Levi’s horse in the eyes. The horse that almost bit my head off. I could see she was injured, and I reached out to pet her nose, giving an apple I’d brought from the cafe. She seemed to be thankful for the offering and let me into her stable without a problem. I slipped the journal into a cubby with some riding supplies, hoping he’d see it sometime. Before leaving on Jonas’s horse, I glanced up at the windows of the abandoned castle, the sun reflecting in them enough to blind my eyes.

“Ma’am, what are you doing near the horses?” I looked down at the cadet who was left behind. He knew my face by now, but he seemed not afraid to confront me anymore. I raised one hand to him, the wind picking up around me, blowing my skirt up.

“I’m just leaving. Don’t mind me.” He held his hand up, beaconing me not to leave before I could answer whatever questions he had. I didn’t hear what he was yelling at me as I rode back towards Trost. Hopefully, he would report that someone was near the stables and Levi would find my notebook. If anything, I wanted him to read that. If he saw how sad I was without him there, then maybe he would come back quicker.

“It’s been how long?” Jonas asked as I returned his horse later that night. He taught me how to ride it a month ago, seeing how I could only use public transportation to get to Mitras, which took money and hours. While I was still unsettled getting on anyone’s horse, Jonas’s was nice to me and I fed it extra apples for good measure. I was doing that right now as he brushed her out.

“Almost three weeks since they’ve come back.” He nodded and continued to brush, not pushing the obvious response. Jonas had gotten much better at that. He’d let me think when I needed to, and then only when I was getting beside myself he would jump in. There wasn’t any need to do that right now, and my mood had gotten more control over the past few weeks that he didn't need to do any intervention work recently.

“It’s almost May Day. There are enough supplies to celebrate this year, so Trost is having a little festival to make up for Spring.” I pet the horse on her nose before hopping up on the stable’s door to sit.

“Are you asking me to go drink with your friends since no one did it for the Equinox and now there’s an excuse?” He huffed once in laugher, trying to feign his innocence.

“No, I was just going to ask you if you were free next week for no reason. Drinking? How dare we? We’re getting too old for that sort of stuff.” I smiled lightly down at him as he put away the horse’s brush to turn to face me.

“Sure, I’ll go. It’s been a long time since I’ve been out.” A big smile broke out on his face when I agreed, and it seemed to carry all the way into next week. He would never stop reminding me that on Saturday, we would go to the festival to grab drinks and take them outside to the meadow near the walls. At one point, I had to bar him from talking for a few hours so I could get work done. When the day finally came and I closed the shop, he was bouncing off the walls watching all the people walk to the town square.

“You know, usually we’re taking Elias and June to these types of things,” I reminded him and he just shrugged. June was probably working and Elias would be with his school friends running around. We’d probably see him on our way out of town.

“When they turn eighteen, I’ll gladly take them for their first drunk meadow excursion. It’s a right of passage.” You rolled your eyes at him, remembering his first time puking at the base of a tree in the meadow. A right of passage, sure.

Jonas’s friends were a rowdy bunch. They were that way in high school as well and never changed how many years out we were now. While you weren’t very much involved with them unless forced by Jonas, you knew the four of them well enough to be comfortable to drink with them. Two of them, Jonas’s roommates, brought girlfriends or girls they were trying to entertain with. Again, I didn’t know them all that well, but I’d be sure to ask Jonas as we walked behind the rest.

It was refreshing to be out like this, as we walked past the Garrison to be let into Wall Rose. The atmosphere was up, some of the boys having already downed a few drinks, and everyone seemed happier than before. The news of millions of refugees dying didn’t affect them, so why did they have to feel sad about it? In moments like this, it made me think of my own existence and how selfish it was to do these sorts of things. We were exploiting the safety of Wall Rose to go and drink, not thinking at all about titans or a food shortage anymore. I wanted to apologize to the refugees whom I served previously, but they were undoubtedly all gone.

“Hey,” Jonas nudged me, probably seeing my glazed-over expression, “Live in the moment?” He suggested as the wind picked up around us. The grass blew in the breeze, and we turned to walk against the wall. The meadow near the wall was only a few minutes walk, and near a village of farmers. One time, during a game of truth or dare, Jonas was dared to go pick a farmer's pumpkin, which ended up with him being chased a good half-mile from where we were original. The only person who waited for him to get back that night was me and we both got scolded for how late we had returned. Ben was also very suspicious of how dirty Jonas's pants had become and later he guilted me into telling him everything that happened, minus the underage drinking.

“I’ll try,” I told him, pushing away the thoughts I had before. Selfish. The refugees weren't able to separate their life from the certain death they were facing by the titans. They weren't able to go off and celebrate like we were. Imagine if Eren Jaeger could see me now. I could see the anger lighting up in his eyes knowing what we were doing. I looked out into the wild expanse of grass, knowing right where the Scout HQ would lie over the hills. What would Levi be doing right now? It was around dinner time for them if the breakdown of his schedule was still accurate. Would he approve of the activities I was about to indulge in? Probably not.

“Eva,” Jonas said again, snapping me out of my thoughts once more. His expression was now concerned, but there were shouts as we reached the destination, those already buzzed excited to get even drunker. Laughter rippled through the air and the wind carried it further along the wall, echoing. It was a weird sound for me to hear, and I realized then how long it had been since I’d even left my sphere of influence. I’d been to the capital a few times for supplies, and I’d visited the Scout HQ twice, but those were all by myself. I haven’t done anything with other people for a long, long time. I used that fact to try to convince myself that I deserved this break as I took a sip of the cheap wine that was brought.

They all talked and talked about their lives, whatever drama was going on around in their shared friend groups, and how many people were getting “panicked married” as Hulia, one of the potential girlfriends put it. I agreed with them, nodding my head and inputting some opinions here and there, but I was never engaged in the conversation enough to start my own. I would just sip and sip, not minding how much Raphel was filling my cup with.

The more I drank, the more it made me think about Levi. Why hadn’t he come and visited me yet? Did he not like me anymore? Had I done something wrong? Had something happened on the expedition? Did he find someone else? All of these were running through my head at hundreds of miles per hour, that when Jonas nudged me to answer a question Hulia asked, I had to make her repeat it.

“When do you think you’ll get married, Eva?” She asked with no ill-intent, and there was a dreamy look of romance in her eyes with this question. I wasn’t the first one to answer the question, but I was also the only girl here that wasn’t with her boyfriend or whatever they were to each other. I wondered what the other two had said. Probably something cute and romantic. They’d get married in Trost, maybe move to Wall Sina, and start a happy little family away from the titans and away from conflict. There had to be something in there about flowers and picking out a dress too. Maybe I wished I listened to them so I could fake an answer and model it after theirs. If I was thinking realistically, my chances of getting married now were slim to none. At least, that was what I had gotten from Levi. Actually, we never talked about those things, and it became clearer and clearer why. First, he didn’t think he was going to come back from this expedition. Secondly, how were you supposed to dream about marriage when you don’t know what the next day is going to bring?

So I lied to them and Jonas knew. The look in his eyes told me he knew what I was truly thinking.

“Sometime later in life. Not right now, but when I can settle down and hand to the cafe over to someone for a bit. I have no dress or inheritance from my mother, so that part will be quite difficult.” Hulia was digging me further into a grave, not feeling my discontent or seeing Jonas's stare.

“Oh, Eva!” She clasped her hands together, “I think you’d look beautiful in a white dress! You can have Ben walk you down too and you can have those blue flowers that you always love to have in your cafe. It will be one of those small intimate marriage ceremonies, you know? When I get married, I have so much family I don’t know where I could fit them all!” I gave her a look, but she was too drunk to realize the weight of her words. Was she bragging about how big her family was to me? I had half a mind to tell her off, and of course, the wine was fueling me. How many glasses did I down while looking into the fading horizon?

The others were now running around in the field, playing some sort of game like the kids their wine-filled brains told them they were. I used to be like that when I was drunk. I’d play tag or truth or date or some type of game that children play in school. Arguably, that was before I swore off drinking after getting so drunk I couldn't stop throwing up the next day. Now here I was, thinking randomly about the end of the world while staring off into the setting sun. Jonas wasn’t with them either, and I knew my attitude made him barely drink. He just sat next to me, leaning back on his hands, trying to find the words to say.

“Do you think the world will end because of the titans or because of the humans?” He sighed and let out a ‘what the fuck’, before entertaining me. He knew I was drunk.

“Humans.” I shook my head, disagreeing with him.

“I think it’ll be because of titans. Want to know why?” He picked at the grass but indulged me.

“Why?”

“Because they’re already trying to ruin my life.” That made him pause, take the wine glass out of my hands, and down the rest of it for himself in one gulp. He was right, I didn’t need any more of that, or my true feelings were really going to come out. He probably still wasn't emotionally ready to hear me drunkenly babble about Levi when he could barely stand it sober.

“What do you want to do about it?” I knew he was asking about the titan problem, but I remembered a conversation we had earlier. It had now been another month. Six. The same amount of time I’d waited for him last time, but the thing was last time he came to me right away. He loved me then, holding me at night on the couch. What was so different now?

“I don’t want to do anything because I want him to come to me on his own, but I’m afraid if I don’t do anything, he won’t come.” He moved to sit up completely, trying to see the expression on my face.

“And if he doesn’t come?” I could hear the faintest hint of hope in his voice, and it made me laugh sadistically.

“I don’t know. I’ll spiral into madness again. Something like that.” He groaned and leaned back fully on the grass, hands behind his head. That was what I meant by not being able to handle it.

“Do you want to know my opinion now that you’re drunk?” I scoffed.

“I’m not drunk, but sure. I haven’t got much left to be sad about, give me more.” I went to take another sip, but the glass was emptied and so were the rest of the bottles we’d brought. This just left me to stare at whatever game the couples were playing.

“I think he’s an asshole and doesn’t deserve the patience and kindness you’re giving him.” It sounded a lot calmer than I thought it would come out. I knew that already, though. I knew what Jonas thought of Levi, and that sentence was an extremely abridged version. I would always hear him mumble profanities and insults here and there about him whenever he was brought up, and I heard some of his famous opinions from Ben too. However, some of his opinions did get to me, mostly about the wait. Why was I waiting for so long? I thought about that too, late at night. What motivated me to stay with Levi even though he’s been away from me for at least a year in total. The time we’ve been together has been so small, and by now, I’m usually making breakfast every morning for the man I’m seeing. That’s what had happened before.

“You thought that about Kristian, too, and he was your friend.” Jonas froze next to me, having not heard that name exit my mouth in years. He thought it was an unspoken rule I’d given him to never mention Kristian. It was probably because I was drunk that I brought his name up, and this situation felt eerily similar to our past best friend.

“Well, Kristian wasn’t in the Scouts when you were with him. Same complaint, different circumstance.” The sun finally made its descent below the horizon, and the purples that spread throughout the sky masked the tears falling from my eyes. I hadn’t thought about Kristian for a while either, but something about this moment reminded me of him. One because, again, I'd picked someone over Jonas who didn't agree, and, two, because of what Jonas had said back then that he'd said before. He just thought that, now, it was taboo to bring in Kristian.

“When you asked me if the pain was really worth the love, it made me think about Kristian.”

“Oh,” Jonas nodded, easily remembering how Kristian and I had left things, and how his death made it impossible to make things any better. Regardless of his death, Kristian wouldn't have been forgiven.

“With him, it wasn’t. I was always in pain near the end. He was too domineering, too chaotic; he was everything I was running away from. He was the temptation to turn back into what I once was, and it always excited me to teeter on that line with him. Thrilling maybe, but toxic. He crossed that line, and I stayed where I was. The pain back then wasn’t worth the two or three laughs Kristian would give me throughout the day.” There was a silence, both of us not knowing what to say to that. Kristian was gone, and he had been gone for years now. It felt wrong to speak on his name like that, but he deserved every bad thing that came to him. We both knew that too.

“Kri-”

“I don’t feel that with Levi, Jonas. Right now, most of the time, I don’t feel the regret I felt back then when I was stuck with Kristian. But then I think, maybe I don’t feel it now, but down the road, I’ll feel it again. That scares me, because I really, really like being with Levi. When I’m with him I’m happy, but when I’m without him I can barely function. It’s codependency in a way. I was codependent on Kristian, and look where that got me. I don't want to be codependent on Levi, and I don't think I am right now, but it could be that way. I also just think I feel so awful now because, for five months, Levi was out fighting titans with no way of me knowing if he was dead or alive. It's not codependency but worries. Logical.”

“So, you’re saying that you don’t feel like Levi is like Kristian, but you’re afraid that it might turn into that if things keep going the way they are?” I picked at the grass, not caring that tears were slowly falling down my face, making permanent trails. Actually, it had been a few good weeks since I'd cried about something. It felt like a good release now, and because I was far gone on wine, I didn't feel the depth of my tears. It was like I was just crying to cry, and not because all of the feelings I had when I was with Kristian were coming back. Not because I was scared it would turn out that way.

“They were both Scouts.” He hummed, putting one of his hands on top of mine to stop my nervous picking of the grass. He was concerned, and you were glad the coming darkness hid your tears. If he saw them, he would take you back immediately. He would pull you up, makeup up some lie to the others, and sit me down on the couch after we got back, not holding me anymore, but just sitting to my right, a hand over mine.

“This is very not me to say, but have you told Levi about this?”

“What do you mean? About what?” He bit his lip, decided whether to say something or not to me. He always bit his lip when he was holding back something for my mental benefit, but I wanted him to say it. I needed him to say it. Something to snap me back to reality.

“Does he know that your greatest fear is abandonment?” I pulled my knees to my chest, not liking out that sentence made me feel emotional. I’d like to say it was the wine that made me start crying even more, but I knew that wasn’t true. Jonas had broken some flood gate inside of me, finding the root of the problem was having. I was afraid of being abandoned. That was the real reason I’d work at the cafe hours and hours on end. If Mr. Flynn saw how I was a good worker, he would forget about my previous bad behavior or bad grade and he wouldn’t throw me out on the street again. If I just gave into Kristian’s physical wants and did what he said, then he wouldn’t leave me like before. He’d stay then. But now, I couldn’t think of something that I did or was doing to Levi. Was I making him face his feelings too early? Did the fact that I was weak and not a Scout deter him from coming to see me? I would do anything to fix it. To make him come back. Jonas just sat there with one hand on my back for what felt like forever. The laughter in the background took on a new cynical tone as I sat there in juxtaposition to their fun. I was thankful, too, that the sun was finally down, so in their drunken haze, they had no idea what was going on to the right of them.

The next day, I rode back to the Scout HQ, and seeing that the notebook I’d left two weeks ago was still there, I took it back with me. I had no idea why I felt like this, but I just needed to take it. It was like I had given him a three-week opening to my heart, and since he didn't take it, I'd take it back. If he wasn't moved to come back after reading it, if he even read it, then he didn't get to anymore. I really didn’t know what to do when I slammed it on my desk, along with the letters he wrote me previously scattered on the surface. I’d read them over and over again, trying to rationalize why he wouldn’t come back even when he wrote words as sweet as those. It had to have been the refugee expedition. Something had to have happened then for him to not want to see me, perhaps even ever again.

For the first time, I was angry at him.

He couldn’t even bless me with two minutes or a piece of paper to display his feelings towards me. He was hiding again, but this time there was no injury to hold him away from me. Jonas said he looked fine, and in one piece, and for the longest time I was glad. That was enough for me to get by; waiting for him. Waiting. Waiting. Why was I always waiting for him? In a burst of anger, I picked up the book and threw it across the room, hitting the blackboard with battle formations on it. The blackboard that Levi used when he was here. Everything that he left was still there, but now I knew the papers must not have been important if he didn’t come back for them. I shoved them back in the drawer, one by one, not caring if I bent them. What use would they have anyway? Next were the letters. I was going to keep them, I wasn’t that mad to ruin something this important to me, but I didn’t want to see them anymore. They would go in the drawer along with his papers. Lastly, I picked up the notebook that I threw on the floor. Five months of pain, and he didn’t have the decency to read it? This one, I let my fingers run along the cover, remembering how I wrote in this night after night. I could feel the pain come from the leather it was bound in. I remembered the moments I would just hold it, reading over my won words, and crying again. I flipped open the pages, skimming the words I wrote again for one last paintime.

The last page didn’t have my handwriting on it. The very last page of the journal, the only one left blank, was now covered in that familiar cursive scrawl. I lifted a hand to cover my mouth, not knowing what feeling I had inside. He had read it… but even so, he didn’t come back. How long had it been since he’d picked up this notebook till now?

Evlynn M Flynn,

I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. For the ways I’ve made you feel inside. Reading this journal made me realize how much I hurt you. I’m sorry for everything. For giving you false hope and hypnotizing feelings. It was never my intention to make you feel like this adding my presence in your life. Find someone who gives you true happiness, because it will never be me.

Levi

What was this? He'd read it. Yet, I wasn't happy. I was the opposite of happy. I stared down at it, reading it over and over. The tears started to make the ink run on the page and I reached down to rip it out, crumbling it in my hands. Is this what I wanted? Some note? Some proof that he cared? And wasn’t I thinking the same things? His lack of presence caused me pain. His not being there hurt me emotionally and physically. I had written that in the notebook. We had read the same notebook, the same journal entries, so why did he interpret it so differently? Him leaving was going to be the best solution? Did he not see how I was lost without him there?

I was angry.

So much so that in the dead of the night, right after dinner and right after I'd gained the courage, I hitched up Jonas’s horse without him knowing. When the Garrison members stopped to ask where I was going, I just glared down at them and rode past the gates into Wall Rose. I knew that there would be cadets everywhere on the ground until my past visits. They would see me riding up, some might even stop and question me, but I had one motive. I was done waiting. What person tries to leave someone by leaving a short note? Is this how cowardly Humanity’s Strongest was?

I rode on the HQ grounds, not breaking the horse's stride. The cadets turned to look, not ever seeing my face before. They probably turned to each other, asking about my presence, but I was past them too fast to notice any conversation. When I jumped off the horse, leaving someone else to take care of it, the same cadet I’d encountered before called out to me. He had to be a groundskeeper or something to always be chasing me off. Either way, I started up the stairs that I’d only walked up once, him behind me yelling. He never caught up, and when I turned the corner to the officer’s wing, he sounded even more frantic. If it was after dinner, the officers were sure to be in some form of meeting, and I wasn’t going to let them continue. Whatever it was, they had weeks to talk about it. This was a more pressing matter.

“Please! Ma’am! The officers are-!” I shoved open Erwin’s door with ease, hearing it slam against the interior wall. They all turned their heads to look at me, all sitting around a table, a map in the middle displaying figures of titans and horses. Some I recognized and others I had no clue who they were, but I wasn’t looking at them. I stared down Levi whose eyes were as wide as he would let them. Had he forgotten he’d told me his schedule or was he surprised that the sad, depressed me had displayed this much effort to see him?

“Commander! I’m so sorry I let her get in here! I can take her away if-” Erwin held his hand up and was inspecting the look on my face. He knew there was no stopping me at this point, my breathing growing heavy as I looked back up at him, waiting for whatever orders he’d give me. Did he know why I was here?

“Squad Leader Hange, can you take Miss. Flynn to your office, please? The meeting won’t go on for more than ten minutes.” Hange stood, pushing her glasses up to their original place, before walking over to me with a smile. She put one hand on my shoulder before speaking to me.

“Come on,” she said in a hushed tone, pulling me down the hallway silently after dismissing the cadet. There was tension there, but I couldn’t tell why. Did she know why you’d suddenly appeared?

Hange’s office was different from Levi and Erwin's. Glassware, chemicals, and books were thrown everywhere with no organization. There were drawings of titan structures hanging all over the walls too, barely leaving the white brick exposed. The biggest difference was the fact that there were candles and oil lamps everywhere, illuminating her workspace and the room. It felt warm but did nothing to calm my anger.

“You know, I told him not to do it.” It didn’t make me feel any better, even if that was her intention. It made me think of how many other people he’d talked to about this besides myself. She walked out after that, closing the door behind her and leaving me to stand in the middle of her office, looking at the books sprawled out on the center table. None of them really made any sense to me, filled with anatomy or certain titan sciences, but it still was a welcomed distraction from the conversation to be had five minutes in the future. I flipped through her hypothesis about titans and sunlight, a few things about their internal body, and other more complicated diagrams. I never knew Hange was this scientifically inclined, all I knew was that she was the designated doctor for the Scouts since the government thought it trivial to send them a real one. Come to think of it, there was nothing in this office that even hinted at medical care, meaning Hange probably just picked it up for necessity.

Levi never told me much about the people in the Scout Regimen, probably for isolation purposes. I’ve only talked to Hange three times, and Erwin only once when he personally came to visit the café. It was interesting to see them in their natural habitat here, and I had to agree that the look Erwin first gave me when I stormed into their meeting was scary. He was the Commander though, it was his job to demand and control. Levi had called Hange a Squad Leader once, and I wasn’t able to ask him what that meant, but it was probably close to his rank as she was also in the officer’s meeting and had an office like this. Notably smaller than Levi’s it was still an office. Standing here now, I wished I’d known more about the place I stood and maybe about titans.

“What are you doing here at this hour?” It was harsh and I was paying too much attention to Hange’s books to notice the door had opened and Levi came in. Still, I didn’t react to his words and just kept staring down at the book. Truthfully, I didn’t think I’d get to this point, and everything that I had rehearsed on the way here had left my head and had been replaced with slight happiness at finally seeing him again. It had been so long. There he was, standing unscathed, his eyes looking down at me. How badly did I want to run over there and throw my arms around him like the hug we shared when he left?

“Are you not going to talk to me? Isn’t that why you interrupted our meeting?” I wondered if he was happy to see me at all, but it didn’t seem like it. His voice was hallow and distant. There was no emotion in his eyes at all as I looked over my shoulder at him. He just leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking right at me. When I, again, didn’t answer, he sighed and closed his eyes, eyebrows knitting together like he was the one allowed to be frustrated.

“If you’re not going to say anything, I’ll just leave. I have a personal meeting with Erwin.” He turned to open the door and that’s when my whole body turned to face him. It was a tactic, after all, just to get me to finally respond. He probably didn’t have anything to do other than paperwork, Erwin knowingly dismissing him. I held out the crumpled piece of paper out in front of my body and he took one look down at it, knowing exactly what it was. I had no idea how he thought he wouldn’t have to confront me about this personally, but he did seem a bit… annoyed?

“I’m glad you read the journal, but I was not happy to find this in the back.” He sighed, turning away from the door and back to me.

“You need to forget. Forget about the Scouts. About the HQ. Everything. Forget about me.” The paper dropped from my hands, and I lost the composure I was holding in before.

“You read through that whole journal and that’s what your solution was? To leave?!” His eyes shifted to the door, knowing someone outside was probably listening, so he kept his voice down.

“Being with me hurts you, and it will continue to hurt you the more I have to be gone. You told me once that you’d be fine if I died, but after reading your words, I know that won’t be the case. You need to forget me now so I can’t hurt you more in the future.” I gripped my hands into fists, not believing what I was hearing. I could take it in written form, but I had thought up until now it was a mistake.

“You know I don’t care about that!”

“But I do.” His voice was calm this whole time, showing no emotion. It was like he’d reverted before me. All the work and effort I’d put in to make him comfortable to share his feelings around me was crumbling. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling when he was saying these hollow words to me.

“What happened? What happened between when you left for this expedition till now for you to think like that?”

“Watching millions of people die in front of you makes you think about who you can and can’t protect. If I can’t protect them when they’re right in front of me, how am I supposed to be able to protect you?” I huffed in anger, looking at the ceiling as tears were threatening to fall. I was not about to cry in front of him. Not when he was giving me no emotion. He didn’t deserve mine. There was no regret or remorse in his voice either when speaking about the refugees. This was not the same man who had confided in me on the couch about how opposed he was to this mission.

“You don’t need to protect me. I’m in Trost, I’m surrounded by other people, and you’ve taught me how to defend myself. Most of the time I’m with Jonas anyways. There’s nothing to be-” Levi seemed to catch something in my sentence and ride with it. The worst thing possible.

“Go be with him.” That made me pause and blink. This couldn’t be real. There was no way he would have said that before.

“Who are you?!” I yelled, feeling the frustration build and build.

“I read the journal. Over and over. And every time I got to the point Jonas came back, you were happier. Over and over, I read about another man making you happy.” My mouth was wide open when he said that. Still, it was emotionless. What did he really want? It couldn’t have been that. It would have never been that. He'd vocalized his distaste for Jonas over and over again and now he was just yielding to him? This was not Levi.

“Jonas is my friend. You know that. You make me happy, Levi! So why are you taking that away from me?!” He shook his head, pushing himself off the wall.

“He can give you what I can’t. You want a family, kids, whatever, I can never give you that. How can I think of my future when I know I’m not going to have one?” I put one hand on my head, finally getting a headache from everything he was saying. He wanted to let me go because he didn’t want to hurt me? Because he couldn’t give me what I wanted? Yet, I’ve told him so many times that all I want is him. He's agreed, too. He's told me what he feels for me. How deep he feels for me. And now he was going to throw that all away so easily? Levi was never someone to do something like this. He would never let me go this easily.

“You’re not my Levi. Whoever is talking right now, you aren’t him. Levi would never say something like that!”

“You’ve only known me for a total of four months, how do you know who Levi is?” I looked up at him fiercely, feeling that as an insult towards me. How did I not know who he was?

“You’re not the Levi who fell asleep in my arms? The one who confided in me about his fears? About his past in the Underground? The one who kissed me every night with unyielding passion? That wasn’t you? Was I housing a stranger?” He scoffed this once. Just once, he gave me what he was feeling. He scoffed at me. He insulted me. And now, after I told him that, he couldn’t even look at me to deliver the final, heartbreaking line. The line that made me stop speaking and stare at the ground. The line that haunted me as I laid in bed that night, not being able to sleep.

“The emotional codependency you have for me is stifling, Evlynn.”

That made me shake in anger, in sadness, I had no clue. It was the fact that he’d echoed my biggest insecurity out loud. Was I codependent on Levi for my happiness? I’d thought about it over and over, trying to get myself out of the five-month slump, but now, he just confirmed it. He confirmed that he hated it. I was stifling him. Everything he said before felt fake. It was an excuse to make me feel better about him leaving me, like it was even about me this whole time. He had written that note to hide his true feelings apparently, but how true were they? How could he go from holding me, loving me, to just... not feeling anything?

“T-then why are you… wh-why are you with me?” He still couldn’t look at my hunched over figure.

“I only realized when I read your journal how dependent you are on me. It’s stifling. I don’t like it. I can’t deal with it when I have more important things to do.” It was like every word he said was a hammer, hitting me down lower and lower to the ground. I had to grip Hange’s table to stand, and even then it sent books flying to the floor. My heart was burning and so were my eyes. How could he be so cruel and brutal with me now? Was this the Captain Levi that everyone had talked about? The man you were convinced to be needy and kind was just now showing his true form.

“I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.” I could see the way he froze. The way he still couldn’t look at me even when I was ready to lock eyes with him for the last time. I was staring right at him, the tears still yet to fall. I couldn’t show him emotion, it would be burdensome, wouldn’t it? Still, he didn’t look at me. It was stomach-wrenching the silence in the room as he thought over his answer.

“I've never told you I loved you.”

No, that was the line that haunted me. That was the one that I’d think about forever. Yet, that was the one that forced me out of the room. I just stood up, balancing myself before I walked right out the door. Right past his body, the one who still couldn’t look at me and show me his true emotions. I would never get to see it again. I stopped, right before closing the door, and looking right at Hange who was standing against the back wall, probably in wait. Had she known? That’s why she told me that when I’d entered her office. He had told her everything. He’d told her that he didn’t love me and I was too burdensome for him. How many people had he told before telling me? Coward. This realization gave me a false calm as I was falling apart inside. I needed to be strong in front of him. I couldn't show him how much he'd just hurt me.

“I love you, Levi. And if you deem that as codependency, then I don’t think you’ll ever know what love is.” Hange didn’t look at me after that, she looked right at Levi. I saw the look in her eyes too. Anger. At least I had one person here who seemed to support me. I walked past her, down the stairs, and out the door quickly, grabbing the horse that someone had hitched up for me. The cadets had all gone to their rooms, and the field was empty. This allowed me to walk out of the Scout HQ grounds, knowing that he would be looking at me from a window. I didn’t turn around though. I didn’t look back to see if he was there. I just rode back to Trost, holding in the tears I had till I was sitting in Jonas’s stable, feeding his horse an apple for everything she’d seen while I took her from her sleep. I just cried and cried, hiding my sobs in the back of my hand. Trost wouldn't get to hear my wailing for him. For that asshole. For that spineless, cowardly, annoying, handsome, kind - no. The only person who got to heard my sob was me and Jonas's horse.

“What did he do?” It was an angry voice behind me, but I didn’t look back at him. I didn’t want Jonas to see me crying over Levi again and again like he had warned me about. I didn’t want Jonas to know he was right. So, I just stood there and cried, and only allowed Jonas to see my face when he came to hug me to his chest in comfort. We stood there for what seemed like forever, and he didn't speak for the longest time. I wanted him too. I wanted him to confirm how awful Levi was so it was easy for me to start to forget. But who was I kidding, how was I going to forget him? In an out of my life like a flash, but one so bright that I'd still see him when I closed my eyes every night to sleep. I would never forget Levi.

“Shh, I’m here, Eva. I won’t leave you.”

xx oopsiesssss

Chapter Fifteen →

Chapter Masterlist

#levi ackerman scenario #LEVI ACKERMAN #levi ackerman x oc #levi ackerman x reader #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x you #attack on titan #attack on titan x oc #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin levi #snk levi #levi aot #aot #snk x reader #snk

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