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stangalina · 4 months

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"I am so, so sorry." Jaskier said the moment the door closed behind him.

Geralt didn't respond, taking a moment to subtly look around the room he'd just been brought into. It was a combination of an office and a bedroom, a room with bookshelves on every wall and a desk near the window, and a room with a reasonably large bed and several shelves and cupboards, separated by an open archway. The archway had a curtain that could be drawn across, but judging by the sun damage on the fabric tie holding it aside, it hadn't been drawn in years. Possibly ever.

The shelves were full of trinkets and and curiosities, some of which Geralt recognised as things Jaskier had collected while travelling by his side. There were so many that they displaced the books meant to be on the shelves, the books instead being left in neat piles on the floor. The cold wooden floorboards were covered up with a rug that would have been rather expensive when it was first bought, and the window in each section of the room had thick curtains that could be drawn to keep in warmth. Next to the bed, there was a reasonably sized fireplace that clearly hadn't been lit in a while, but it was clean and looked perfectly functional.

He was dimly aware that Jaskier was still apologising, but Jaskiers voice was classified as "pleasant background noise" by his brain, so listening to every word the bard said was not automatic. That, and his rambling apologies were completely unnecessary.

"-I understand if you are angry with me but I-"

"I'm not angry." He interrupted, looking away from the room and back to Jaskier.

"You... Aren't?"

Geralt shook his head.

"You successfully found us lodging for the winter. Like you said you would."

"By sacrificing your pride! Honestly, I spend my whole entire life trying to show the world that Witchers are people worthy of love, kindness and respect only to throw it all away in front of my peers without even thinking! And now you're going to have to be around their arrogant asses all god-forsaken winter, I'm so sorry Geralt." Jaskier rambled, sounding honestly distraught.

"No, I- hmm." Geralt tried to talk, but couldn't come up with the words to explain how he felt about what just happened. "I have been called significantly worse things in my lifetime."

"That doesn't make it better!"

Really, he had been called far worse. In comparison to butcher, beast, feral creature, mutant and monster; "dog" was exceedingly tame.

"I'm going to strangle that alcoholic fossil the next time I see him." Jaskier hissed.

"Don't. I'm not in the mood to help you hide a body."

"You won't need to. I know this place like the back of my hand. They won't find his body until it goes putrid and bursts."

The amount of distain Jaskier could pack into his words was a marvel to behold. Geralt had to calm him down, or Jaskier may actually follow through with that threat. It wouldn't be the first time he'd killed a man, but it would likely get him into some sort of trouble.

"You are not not murdering your colleagues, Jaskier." Geralt asserted, looking around the room for the best place to set down his bag.

Jaskier whimpered pathetically.

"You're right. If anyone deserves to die it's me right now. I'm a master of the seven liberal arts for Melitele's sake, why couldn't I come up with a better idea!?"

A better idea. Geralt pondered that for a minute. He tried to think of an alternate way they could have gotten out of that situation.

Off the top of his head, all plausible alternatives ended in some form of subterfuge, separation, roughing it out in the snow, or getting arrested.

So, on the scale of bad ideas, this was one of the better ones. In fact it may be the best bad idea Jaskier has ever had.

Even if it meant getting Geralt into Oxenfurt under the "pet" clause in Jaskiers contract.

Turns out, to stay as a guest at Oxenfurt Academy, you need to give the institute prior warning so they can add you to the list of people on campus for that year. In other words, guests staying for more than a night or two need to book in over a year in advance.

So when Geralt's last job of the year ran dangerously long and an early thick snowfall rolled in from the south, snowing in the pass to Kear Morhen ahead of schedule and leaving Geralt with nowhere to spend the winter, leading to Jaskiers offer to winter with him in the halls of Oxenfurt Academy, he was unfortunately denied entry.

Jaskier did not take kindly to being told "no" and argued with the aging professor that had met them at the gate for over ten minutes about technicalities and semantics. The professor was as unmoved as a stone column throughout the whole ordeal, stubbornly sticking to the academy's rules. It soon became clear that Jaskier was not going to be able to convince him.

Just as Geralt was about to interject so Jaskier didn't get reprimanded for being mouthy, Jaskier stopped arguing and gained a strange glint to his eyes.

He told Geralt to stay put and walked the professor away from the gate and around a corner that would be out of range if Geralt had human hearing.

Geralt then listened intently as Jaskier smarmily explained to the professor that he saw Geralt as more of a well trained guard dog than a friend, and that since professors at Oxenfurt are allowed up to three pets, he should be able to bring him in. When the professor made a shaky objection, Jaskier took on an incredibly arrogant tone and explained that Witchers are not human, and thus should be classed as pets.

Surely. He asked. Surely a professor of his calibre did not think Witchers were human?

The professor had no choice but to agree.

And now, here they were. In Jaskiers room that they would share for the upcoming winter, in an academy full of people that, thanks to gossip, would soon all know that the White Wolf was brought into Oxenfurt as the loyal pet dog of Julian Alfred Pankratz viscount de Lettenhove.

"Jaskier." Geralt said after dropping his bag and stepping closer to his friend. "I already told you, I'm not angry."

"The fact that you're not angry at being called a dog upsets me greatly dear heart." Jaskier admitted in a tender tone, leaning bodily against the closed door at his back.

"Insults don't bother me Jaskier." Geralt said.

Jaskier glared at him, the look in his eyes accusing those words as a lie. Geralt continued to talk regardless.

"But you weren't insulting me. You were tricking a man into giving us bed and board. And I know you wouldn't have said it if you weren't sure it would work. Right?"

Jaskier opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. He couldn't refute Geralt's words.

"And now we both have winter safe and indoors, with food and fire. You have work to do, and they'll probably have some use for me in this place." Geralt took another step closer. "So stop fucking apologising."

Jaskier closed the distance between them, their chests met and Jaskiers forehead fell to rest on Geralt's shoulder. He sighed heavily.

"I suppose you're right. No point dwelling on what's already been done." Jaskier admitted heavily. "But!" He suddenly said, tone much more like his usual self. "I refuse to forgo giving you any kind of compensation for having to deal with that impotent old fuck! And whatever bullshit the nobles in this place are bound to pull before the snow melts in spring. Sooooo," He drew out the word, stepping back from Geralt. "How about I make you a bath? Scalding hot, perfect for your witchery constitution. Hmm?"

It was an obvious attempt to soothe his own guilt. But... Geralt was never one to say no to a bath. Especially not a bath made by Jaskier.

"Bathing your dog? What a good master." Geralt said, smiling a little at his own joke.

"Shut up you arse." Jaskier hissed as he left the room.

#bonus #Noble: walks up to Geralt and starts spewing veiled insults and backhanded compliments #Geralt; holding a glass of wine and wearing the nicest shirt Jaskier could force him to wear: ... woof #Ensue stunned silence as he wanders off #Geralt is having a lot of fun with it basically #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #the witcher #fan fiction #fanfic #ficlet #jaskier #geralt of rivia #yes it does become an inside joke that Geralt teases Jaskier with until the end of time

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finleycannotdraw · 1 year

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Hi! Your drawings are absolutely adorable and I like them very very much. How about prompt n°27, kisses for a cover? Because I'm pretty sure they did that at least once -

aaa thank you so much!!!

27. kisses for a cover

I took this to mean, like, disguise? my first thought was the good old kissing in an alley to hide from someone chasing them, but I decided to go with the fake-relationship-to-sabotage-an-arranged-marriage route instead!

I know I’ve read a fic with this premise but I can’t find it.

Y’all: reply with your favorite fake relationship fics?

#I do Not know how to draw medieval noble clothing #geraskier #the witcher #finley cannot draw #geralt of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #tagged that bc the pankratz parents are also there #geralt x jaskier #TAGGING THIS I REALIZED THAT X READER TAGS COME UP BEFORE GERALT X YEN #LMAO DJDJFJSNG??#I’ll get the next request done tomorrow :)

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k-laconia-bug1 · 1 year

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Jdodjdkd

You know what I just thought about

JASKIER WITH A SWORD WHIP

He just has complete mastery over is it

And Geralt just watch Jaskier in action with it

*Chef kiss* I- I just need this now wether it's connected to one of my noblemen Jaskiers au

Just Jaskier skillfully dancing around his enemies teasing them by gracefully using his sword whip

#yes #geralt #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #jaskier witcher #witcher geralt #jaskier #witcher #geralt loves jaskier #jaskier loves geralt #high ranking noble jaskier #Ciri seeing Jaskier with the sword whip and just goes

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hudine · 6 months

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This is another Doctor Who - Witcher crossover I’ve got the first chapter done on. This takes place in the same multiverse as my other Doctor Who fic sideways parenthood only 300 years later. You don’t have to have read it but it would help explain who Jaskier is more. He’s one of Rose and Ten’s twin boys who has accidentally got stuck in the Witcher universe and has basically been waiting for three decades for someone in his family to answer a distress call but the TARDIS got herself mixed up and brought Ten there at the wrong point of the timeline.

Forby all of that it’s basically wrote as a Doctor Who story. People have been going missing with mysterious lights being seen in the area. Geralt picks up a contract to go investigate followed by his loyal bard companion who is acting shifty.

Sideways Parenthood

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The evening sun cast long shadows across the cobblestone streets as Geralt of Rivia and Jaskier entered the quaint village. The last rays of sunlight glinted off the Witcher's medallion as it swayed with each step. Murmurs of ‘Witcher’ echoed from villagers who noticed the white-haired traveler, while others whispered about the peculiar bard with him.

Jaskier, ever the observer, glanced around, noting the nervous chatter and occasional fearful looks from the locals. "Geralt," he began, his voice tinged with unease, "Have you noticed? This place… it feels off."

Geralt grunted, his gaze scanning the surroundings. "I've been in my share of strange places. But yes, something's not right."

"The lights," Jaskier continued, twirling a feathered quill between his fingers. "I've heard stories from other villages about odd lights in the sky. You know, like those elven tales? But this... feels different."

Geralt's yellow eyes narrowed as he looked up at the twilight sky. "I've been hired to investigate. But I suspect it's not just some simple spectre or creature."

Jaskier's thoughts whirled. He harboured suspicions he wasn't prepared to reveal. Despite his human appearance, Jaskier was, in fact, a Time Lord—a mere three hundred years old, young by Time Lord standards. He currently resided in a pocket universe nestled between several larger ones, all interlinked by temporal rifts. In essence, he had been cast adrift in the multiverse's vast currents. He had dispatched a distress signal to his family, but given the time-space distortions generated by the surging rift energy—locally termed as ‘chaos’—he couldn't be certain they'd receive it. His father, the Doctor, once fell prey to a world that devoured TARDISes in a similar pocket universe, making him particularly wary of such distress signals. Jaskier hoped he'd at least investigate, because if not, his mother, Rose Tyler, might very well hasten his next regeneration. Yet, there had been no sign of the Doctor or of Jaskier's siblings, his twin brother Johnny and older brother Zaiden, or even his grandfather, Narvin. The tale of Narvin's identity, tied to the Time Lords fleeing the war and temporarily becoming human, added another layer of complexity. In this intricate web of identities, Narvin had assumed the guise of Pete Tyler, Rose's father.

As the two walked towards the centre of the village, an old woman, clutching a shawl around her, approached. "Witcher! I've seen them lights! They're bad omens, they are," she croaked.

Geralt nodded, listening intently. "Where did you see them?"

She pointed to the eastern edge of the village. "Over by the woods. Just after sundown. But not just lights. Shadows, too. Moving shadows that don’t belong to any creature of this land."

Jaskier felt a chill run down his spine. "Thank you," he said, offering her a reassuring smile. "We'll look into it."

The old woman hobbled away, muttering prayers under her breath.

Jaskier leaned closer to Geralt. "Moving shadows? That doesn’t sound like any creature you've fought."

Geralt simply replied, "Every contract is a mystery until it's solved." But even he couldn't deny the growing unease.

Jaskier sighed, his gaze drifting towards the woods. Unbeknownst to Geralt, the bard's hearts raced with a mixture of fear and excitement. This was no ordinary mystery, and deep down, Jaskier wondered if he was on the brink of a reunion he hadn't expected when he followed Geralt here.

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With a familiar grinding noise, the blue police box materialised at the edge of the village square. The door creaked open, and out stepped The Doctor, his brown trench coat flapping as he stretched, followed by Donna Noble, her red hair catching the last remnants of sunlight.

"Oi! Where have you brought us now, spaceman?" Donna exclaimed, looking around, a mix of curiosity and skepticism evident on her face.

The Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver, pointing it skyward. "Somewhere... interesting. Temporal disturbances, Donna. Time's gone a bit wibbly-wobbly."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Oh, not that phrase again. Can't you just once say, 'Donna, I've got no bloody idea what's going on'?"

The Doctor grinned cheekily. "Where would be the fun in that?"

Noticing the villagers eyeing them with a mix of curiosity and wariness, Donna leaned in and whispered, "Do they even have police boxes here? We stick out like a sore thumb!"

The Doctor, always observant, quickly noticed the subtle unease among the villagers. "Something's got them spooked," he remarked, his playful demeanour shifting to one of concern.

They began to weave through the village, the Doctor occasionally pausing to scan various objects with his sonic screwdriver, while Donna tried striking up conversations with the villagers. Most shied away, but a young lad, drawn by her vibrant hair, approached.

"You're not from here, are you?" he asked Donna.

She smirked, "What gave it away? The hair or the fabulous fashion sense?"

The boy giggled but then hesitated, "It's just... you should be careful. The lights... they've taken some of us."

Donna's smirk faded, replaced by genuine concern. "Taken? Taken where?"

Before the boy could respond, The Doctor rejoined Donna, having overheard the conversation. "What lights?" he pressed, kneeling to the boy's level.

The boy pointed eastward, "Over there. Near the woods. They dance and shimmer, then... someone's gone."

The Doctor's face darkened, and he stood, sharing a serious glance with Donna. "We need to find out what's happening."

Donna nodded in agreement, her usual feisty demeanour replaced with determination. "Let's do it. But, Doctor... no running off without me this time, alright?"

He offered her a reassuring smile, "Promise."

With that, the iconic duo made their way towards the eastern edge of the village, armed with nothing but their wit, determination, and a sonic screwdriver. Little did they know, their paths would soon cross with two other unexpected travellers.

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The village tavern, bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, was a cacophony of sounds, from the strumming of a lute in the corner to the muffled conversations of villagers trying to drown their fears in ale. The atmosphere was dense, an almost palpable sense of unease hanging in the air.

Jaskier, ever the performer, tried to lift spirits with a lighthearted tune. His fingers danced across his lute as he sang, his voice soaring and filling the room. Despite his efforts, though, the applause was lukewarm. He took a seat at the bar, feeling unusually discouraged.

Donna, noticing the skilled bard, approached, her drink in hand. "That was lovely," she remarked, genuinely impressed. "Though I don't think I've ever seen an audience less responsive."

Jaskier chuckled, "You'd think they'd never seen a bard before. But thank you, kind lady."

Donna grinned, "Kind? That's a first. I'm Donna."

"Jaskier," he replied, raising his drink in a toast. Their eyes met briefly, a shared understanding passing between them. Both felt out of place, both sensed the tension in the air.

Donna leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "You know something, don't you? About the lights?"

Jaskier hesitated, struggling to keep his expression neutral. "Why do you ask?"

She shrugged, "Just a hunch. And my mate, The Doctor, he's got this... knack for finding trouble. Or maybe it's the other way around."

At the mention of ‘The Doctor’, Jaskier's hearts skipped a beat, memories flooding back. But he masked his surprise quickly. "Ah, physicians. Always meddling, aren't they?"

Donna smirked, catching his attempt at evasion. "Oh, he's not that kind of doctor. Let's just say he's... unique. And I've got a feeling you're more than just a bard."

Jaskier laughed nervously, "You're quite the observer, Donna. But some stories... they're better left unsung.”

The fact that Donna was here meant this was the wrong part of his father’s timeline. Yes he and his twin brother had been born, but the Doctor didn’t know that yet. This was between Bad Wolf Bay where his mother chickened out and lied about being pregnant and the Dalek Crucible.

He'd always heard about the running joke concerning his Aunt Donna's uncanny ability to miss every alien invasion. That changed, however, when she encountered the Doctor; from that point on, her observational skills became almost unsettlingly sharp. Jaskier was deeply thankful for his perception filter, which prevented others from noting anything out of the ordinary about him—be it an additional heartbeat or his unchanged appearance over three decades. He often pondered its effectiveness on Geralt, but given that the Witcher never remarked on any of Jaskier's anomalies, he assumed it was doing its job. Then again, Geralt had the uncanny skill of observing minute details for years, perhaps even decades, without ever voicing his observations, particularly the glaring ones.

The moment the Doctor entered the tavern, Jaskier's hearts stuttered. It required all the self-control he possessed—which, truth be told, wasn't substantial in this regeneration—to maintain his shield and resist reaching out to the familiar solace of his father's telepathic touch. He'd forgotten how much his original form, before his first regeneration, had resembled his father’s tenth. That initial transformation had been prompted by his TARDIS malfunctioning upon his tumultuous arrival in this pocket universe.

Before Donna could rope him into conversation with the doctor Jaskier got up and started to play. He played a lot of his usual songs but just to make his father twitch instead of ‘white wolf’ he’d sing ‘bad wolf’ but only some of the time. Then he went into another song he wrote for his parents a long time ago.

Well I woke up today,

And the world was a restless place;

It could have been that way for me...

And I wandered around,

And I thought of your face;

That Christmas looking back at me...

I wish today was just like every other day,

'Cause today has been the best day -

Everything I ever dreamed!

And I started to walk,

Pretty soon I will run;

And I'll come running back to you...

'Cause I followed my star,

And that's what you are;

I've had a merry time with you...

I wish today was just like every other day,

'Cause today has been the best day -

Everything I ever dreamed!

So have a good life,

Do it for me -

Make me so proud,

Like you want me to be;

Where ever you are,

I'm thinking of you, oceans apart

I want you to know...

Well I woke up today, and you're on the other side,

Our time will never come again;

But if you can still dream,

Close your eyes it will seem,

That you can see me now and then...

I wish today was just like every other day,

'Cause today has been the best day -

Everything I ever dreamed!

I wish today was just like every other day,

'Cause today has been the best day -

Everything I ever dreamed!

Jaskier took another break, feeling the crowd in the tavern wasn’t quite warming up to his music. He was also too anxious to use his empathic abilities to lift their spirits.

Suddenly, he was approached in a rather confrontational manner.

"Who are you?!" demanded the Doctor.

"It's Jaskier, a bard and a graduate in the seven liberal arts from Oxenfurt," Jaskier responded with a hint of pride.

"You kept singing 'bad wolf'," the Doctor persisted, his brow furrowed in suspicion.

"I assure you, Doctor, my song was about the 'white wolf', not 'bad wolf'. I am, after all, the personal bard to Geralt of Rivia. I've been chronicling his adventures in song for the past two decades. Just ask anyone," Jaskier said, trying to keep his composure.

"Doctor," Donna interjected softly, trying to defuse the situation, "give it a rest."

"He's hiding something, Donna! You said it yourself. And that last song... I recognise it. It topped the charts during Christmas in 2007 when I was at the Powell Estate in London."

Jaskier's eyes widened, "Truly? A number one hit? Oh, what a delightful surprise!" He then realised he said too much.

“How do you know of Christmas? This isn't Earth, and the technology here is hardly Earth-compatible,” the Doctor pointed out triumphantly.

Caught off guard, Jaskier blurted, "Oi, is that a flubble over there?"

To Jaskier's astonishment, the mention of the tiny Gallifreyan rodent usually kept as pets actually distracted the Doctor. He seized the moment and bolted. Donna, however, was right on his heels. Just as she was about to grab him at the edge of the woods, they were engulfed in a swirl of lights and vanished, leaving the Doctor and Geralt, who had just arrived due to the ruckus, staring in shock and confusion.

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Song for those not familiar with Doctor Who is called Song For Ten written by Murray Gold for the Christmas Special in 2006.

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teatitty · 2 months

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Most of Dandelion's character can actually be very easily explained by the fact that he's implied to be both the family outcast and to be a man with vague issues surrounding his mother. Daddy issues are one thing but in my experience Mommy issues always give you a certain level of unhinged craziness that can't really be explained

#it was always a little funny to see netflix!jaskier fics that gave him daddy issues and/or a supportive mother #when in the books he like. very overtly mentions his mother in a way that is Negative #considering he does his best not to mention that he's noble born let alone who his family even *is*#I think it's pretty hilariously telling that the only time he does it's when he makes a throw away musing comment #about his mother that implies he never really got along with her bc of his life choices

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fangirlsfavoritebardboy · 2 years

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Jaskier edit #6 - Prince Jaskier

'Cause although you say good day to me, I know I don't belong. And although you hold my hand and say "I love you", you are wrong.

#jaskier the bard #the witcher #the witcher netflix #jaskier edit #julian alfred pankratz #the amazing devil #elsa's song #let's face it #Jaskier looks like Queen Elsa in that outfit #Plus they are both nobles who were ostracized for being different #prince jaskier #made with pixlr #witcher netflix #jaskier

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tielmamon · 2 months

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finally finished that wip

"So...Geralt seemed awfully crossed when we left. You don't happen to know anything about that, do you?" Jaskier huffs, a bit anxious. He had seen how Geralt looked at the both of them when Yen first asked him to accompany her as her vicount husband.

A little side mission really, nothing too high stakes. Just a bit of drinking, a bit of noble charming, one quick trip to the Lord's chambers to steal back a relic that Yen claims to be rightfully hers. Simple enough right?

But somehow, Geralt seemingly thinks this little mission was as dangerous as a basilisk on the rampage and loudly protested against it. Yen, being Yen simply snorted and went about dressing Jaskier as the perfect Vicount decked in black and gold. The entire time, Geralt's eyes never left his person, a constant glare simmering alongside something else Jaskier cant quite name.

"Don't worry about him."

"I'm me. I can't not worry about Geralt. What if he's upset at me for pretending to be your husband? Oh gods, that would be fucking ironic-" Jaskier feels a gentle hand cup the side of his face, guiding him to face his witchy friend. She smiles wickedly.

"I promise you, he has no ire towards you. If anything, he's plotting against me, the idiot." Yen gives his cheek a reassuring pat before snaking her arm between his.

"But enough about him. It's just you and me tonight, dear husband."

#the witcher #fanart #jaskier #yennifer #yenskier #Mr. & Mrs. Pankratz #Geralt back at home jealous as hell

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fangirleaconmigo · 10 months

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Since TWN S1 dropped, people have argued on here nonstop about Jaskier..., is he tough, is he soft, is he sweet, is he feral, (and on and on)

Firstly, the most obvious answer is that people are many things at once. Obviously. These things are not mutually exclusive.

But also. Guys this is all extremely, wildly relative.

Think about it.

To Jaskier's terrifyingly powerful friends (Geralt can kill like ten people at once, Yen burns whole armies) he's just a little wet kitten. He's a precious little package to look after when times get scary.

But compared to other POETS? Other ACADEMICS? Other MINOR NOBLES? he is inSANE.

Imagine him teaching at Oxenfurt. The youths are like HOLY FUCK , this man has walked the entire continent. He has seen five hundred kinds of deadly monsters, and lived to tell. He's survived kidnappings, walked through war zones, he has mementos from like three different historical battles on his walls. His dearest friends (family, really) are people who are sung about in dark cottages like they are demons and world destroyers. HIS BABY NIECE IS LIKE *THE* WORLD DESTROYER TO SOME PEOPLE. He understands war strategy, every single aspect of every faction, and how to survive almost anything.

He would be so intimidating to them.

Then Geralt and Yen come to visit and squish his cheeks like look, it's our soft little baby, we need to check on him because he cannot fend for himself. I hope no one here has hurt his feelings, we have learned that he hates that so we no longer allow it.

And he's like...can I come on this mission?

And they're like idk it's so dangerous for you.

And the students are like ????????

#the witcher #jaskier #i am feeling silly in this chilis tonight

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anyanpre · 1 year

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Jaskier being just some sort of immortal/long-living being is fun, but Jaskier progressively acquiring more and more forms of longevity/eternal youth is even more fun.

Like, imagine.

Jaskier having some natural longevity due to elven blood, but then he’s also blessed by friendly fae as a baby.

A mage heals him a little too much when he’s a young child, with magically prolonged live as a consequence.

As a teen he finds a magical ring that was spelled to slow down wearer’s aging — Jaskier has no idea about that, the ring is pretty.

At least two mages he fucks bless him with longevity spell.

He accidentally drinks a youth potion when he stays with a noble who get it from themselves, but oh well.

Jaskier is already several flavors of immortal youth by the time he meets Geralt and it keeps happening.

Neither he nor Geralt actually notice.

Yennefer does and she’s just… She’s too confused by this whole thing, because HOW THE FUCK YOU COULD GET ETERNAL YOUTH SPELLED ONTO YOU MORE THAN ONCE AND NOT FUCKING NOTICE IT.

#the witcher #jaskier #JASKIER THE DISASTER OF A BARD

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wren-of-the-woods · 10 months

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Shoutout to those extra nobles whispering things like "that was incredible" and "he's amazing" in the scene where Jaskier performs Extraordinary Things for having objectively the most correct response to that song

#the witcher #the witcher s3 #jaskier #joey batey #i was watching that scene and going YES EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID

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k-laconia-bug1 · 2 years

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Witcher au

Geraskier

Jaskier who likes to makes sure he seem defenseless having just knocked out a gaint man use a fancy handkerchief to wipe the blood off his hand

Geralt: "am I attracted to this? I think I'm attracted to this"

Jaskier turning towards "What? You think I didn't know how to fight? My mother is the head of my birth kingdoms army"

#geralt #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #jaskier witcher #witcher geralt #jaskier #witcher #geralt loves jaskier #jaskier loves geralt #high ranking noble jaskier #bamf jaskier

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wolvesandfoxes25 · 9 months

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"You should leave."

Jaskier looked up quickly from where he was writing lyrics.

"I beg your pardon?"

Geralt wasn't looking at him, eyes facing the adjacent side of the hut.

"Leave for Oxenfurt...or Redania. Find that Prince you fucked."

Jaskier felt his stomach lurch.

How did he know about that?

Clearing his throat, he shoved his booklet into his coat.

"I'm not sure what you're playing at Geralt, but I've no intention of leaving."

He was still facing away.

"You're wasting your time here. I'm sure the noble could provide you with many adventures."

The words came out sardonically and snappish.

Jaskier felt whiplash at the statement.

"We enjoyed our time together. Until afterwards." He mumbled the last part, feeling the same dreg of anger at Radovid come to the forefront. Even if he had apologized, it hadn't changed what he'd done.

What Jaskier hoped he wouldn't do.

He wasn't looking to marry the man, but a romance that was his, where he wasn't pining and panting after someone who would never love him, well, it would've been nice.

"Cut from the same cloth, I bet you did." Geralt growled.

Jaskier furrowed his eyebrows.

"And just what do you mean by that?"

Silence.

"You've no right to judge me based on my dalliances, Geralt."

How had the conversation come to this point?

"Dalliance?" Geralt asked, eyes finally turning to Jaskiers.

The brunette looked sideways, being pinned under the weight of those eyes had always been too much for him.

"Where did you learn this anyway?"

Silence.

The dryads were little gossipers then.

"You cared for him." Geralt grit out.

Jaskier pinched his lips together, feeling as if this were an interrogation.

Silence.

Sighing loudly, Jaskier turned his gaze back to the Witcher.

"It felt nice. With him, I felt I was actually being seen. He learned my songs, even if knowing them was just for nefarious reasons. I-I was... lonely. Being back in the thick of this isn't always easy."

Geralt took in his expression his nostrils flaring.

"It used to be."

Jaskier blanched.

That was before Yennefer was everywhere.

He couldn't blame Geralt and Yennefer for their feelings for each other. But, it wasn't easy to always have it in his face.

"Age tends to change things." He murmured, hoping the other man believed the lie.

Geralt grunted.

Guess not.

Jaskier felt the tension in the room thicken.

"Had I known you went for poncey little Princes, I would have left you at a royal court to do their bidding long ago."

Knashing his teeth together, Jaskier stood up in a furious flourish.

"I don't know why you're being such a bloody bastard to me, but I'm not your punching bag, Geralt! Those days are over! Do you understand me?"

The Witchers eyes flashed and he pulled himself up into a piteous representation of sitting up.

"Fuck you."

Jaskier hissed.

"Fuck me? Fuck you." He fired back at Geralt.

What was happening right now? Why was Geralt behaving this way?

The two of them stared each other down.

"I don't know how you can sit there and have the bleeding audacity to berate me over a potential partner."

The golden eyes narrowed.

"Meaning?" He hissed.

Jaskier felt the anger start to build higher and higher.

"You have your great romance! Yennefer! Your sweet little family! Then there's me, who you tossed away like yesterdays porridge!"

Geralt moved to get up, but hissed at the pain.

"Don't do that, you idiotic lump of a man!" Jaskier chided him, moving to shove him back.

Geralt pushed him away, catching his breath to gather himself to his feet.

"Yennefer healed me, I told you that." He snapped, flinging his cane away.

Jaskier watched him sway, but he rolled his shoulders, catching himself.

"But we both know your leg is still giving you trouble, Geralt."

The Witcher glared.

"Easy to leave then, huh? Just like you did on the mountain."

Jaskiers jaw dropped, feeling his balance shift at the fury that ran through him.

"You have the unmitigated, bleeding gall to say that to me? You blame me!?" He yelled.

Geralt scowled, looking away from him in what seemed like shame.

Suddenly... it all made sense.

"You're jealous." Jaskier whispered.

The Witcher moved to leave the hut but Jaskier grabbed his arm to halt him.

Geralt growled.

"How in all the hells are you jealous? You have never expressed anything regarding romantic affections towards me. Ever."

"All those women you were constantly fucking was supposed to tell me otherwise?" Geralt replied sarcastically.

Jaskier threw his hands up in frustration.

"You could've asked me!"

Geralt said nothing as the other man set his hands down upon the bedding of the cot.

"You have got to be the most stubborn, burlish lout I have ever met in my existence upon this earth."

Silence.

"You have no idea how I fe-."

But he stopped himself, the words clogging his throat.

The truth he had figured long long ago. And had told no-one, not Vespula, not the Countess, nobody.

Yennefer had probably guessed after hearing his song in the tavern, but said nothing in reference to it.

Thank the Gods.

"I don't want to continue this conversation further. If you want me to fucking leave so badly, I'll leave. And I'll go back to Radovid and suck his cock in his pretty little throne room. Would that make you happy, Geralt?" He snarled, shoving past him to get some air outside, when a hand clamped over his wrist...

TBC?

#geraskier #geralt and jaskier #jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #fanfic #jealousy #angst fanfic #my fanfiction #pining for years

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echo-bleu · 1 year

Text

While I’m staying away from all the speculation, all those posts and memes about Jaskier either being the only one who can see Geralt is different or the only one who can’t and keeps insisting that yes of course, that’s Geralt, are giving me ideas.

Namely: faceblind Jaskier. Bear with me. He can’t recognize any face, including his own in the mirror (when he finds a mirror, it’s not that often). That’s why he flirts with everyone, flirting is just his default mode in case it’s someone he’s met before, because at its core it’s kind of roleplaying. While people may not respond to it well, they mostly don’t bat an eye at cheesy joke-y pickup lines where Jaskier ‘pretends’ to meet them for the first time (”Do you come here often?”). Meanwhile it buys Jaskier time to figure out if he has in fact met them before.

(Demi or ace Jaskier? Who flirts for the reasons above and mostly has sex with people because he figures it’s expected of him?)

It’s also the reason he makes so many enemies. Sure, there are actual cuckooed husbands who hate him, but really it’s mostly former lovers who are horribly offended when Jaskier ‘snubs’ them at a reception because he just didn’t recognize them. Or former lovers horribly offended that he tried to flirt with them again pretending not to know them after they threw him out. There are also plenty of people who were never his lovers at all but are just offended because nobles are Like That.

(There have been some really embarrassing situations. Like the time he tried to flirt with Valdo Marx, his eternal rival, who still laughs about it every time they see each other.)

He latches onto Geralt because Geralt is recognizable. There just aren’t two white-haired wolf-eyed muscular men around. Jaskier never has to worry about seeing him and being unsure if it’s actually his friend and not some random stranger with the same haircut. Geralt also never changes his haircut or his appearance in any way, which is refreshing.

Yennefer is mostly the same, with her violet eyes, although Jaskier does have to get close enough to be sure. They have a few weird encounters where Jaskier starts to flirt with her, gets within a few feet, and immediately backtracks the hell out with a disgusted face. That’s how she figures it out, but it takes her a while. After that she takes great pleasure in teasing him about it, but only in ways that no one else will clock (hence the crows’ feet comment. Jaskier doesn’t even know himself in the mirror. He can’t tell if she’s right. He does obsess over it the whole way up the mountain, but he has other things to think about on the descent).

The witchers of Kaer Morhen, when Jaskier meets them, are so refreshing. They’re all different! Eskel is unmistakeable with his scars, and while they’re within the confines of Kaer Morhen it’s very easy to distinguish Lambert’s red hair from Coen’s shaved head and darker skin from Vesemir’s white beard. Ciri is of course the only kid, so that’s not a problem. For the first time in his life, Jaskier doesn’t feel like he’s playing catch up to a game whose rules he doesn’t know. It’s relaxing.

The witchers, on the other hand, are quite surprised about Jaskier. They’ve been told (many times, over the years) that Jaskier flirts with everyone under the sun. Now Geralt isn’t always the most reliable source, of course, and Eskel never expects anyone to be attracted to him because of his scars (which is a subject for another day), but Jaskier doesn’t even try to flirt, even just friendlily, with either Lambert or Coen. He’s not afraid of them, they would be able to smell that, he seems perfectly comfortable with them, but he doesn’t flirt. At first, they figure that it’s because his newly mended relationship with Geralt is still fragile.

One night they’re all a bit drunk and the witchers are talking about how Jaskier’s songs have helped them on the Path, how many humans are much nicer to them, and in general how hard interacting with humans is. And Jaskier is just nodding along, “Yeah, yeah, interacting with humans is so hard.”

“But you’re always going out of your way to talk to people and flirt!”

“Well yes, I like making friends, but they have so many expectations, and they get angry so easily.”

“That’s only when you flirt with the wrong people,” Geralt growls.

“But how am I supposed to know it’s the wrong people when I can’t recognize them?”

“What do you mean?” Eskel asks.

“Faces are hard! I don’t know how people do it, I mean, obviously your scars are distinctive, and I’d recognize Geralt’s hair anywhere, but most humans all look the same!”

Geralt blinks very slowly as it all slots into place in his head. Jaskier’s very strange flirting methods. The way he keeps making enemies without meaning to. Hell, he’s seen Jaskier say hello again to someone they’d seen just minutes before, or completely ignore one of his bard friends at a festival until she came right up to him. “You don’t recognize people?”

Jaskier, who didn’t survive forty-three(ish) years without figuring out that this wasn’t normal, freezes and suddenly looks like a deer in the headlights. “Uh... no?”

“So if, say, Vesemir was to shave his beard, you might confuse him with Geralt?” Lambert asks.

“I’d... probably be able to tell from up close? Geralt’s taller.”

“Wow.” Lambert seems ready to tease him about it, but Eskel stops him.

“How did you never notice?” he asks Geralt.

Geralt just grunts. Jaskier answers for him. “I’m very good at making people feel like we’ve always known each other, I guess. Mostly I just buy time until I can figure out if I’ve met them before.”

The witchers have a million questions, but they never make Jaskier feel like he’s deficient somehow. Jaskier has always been ashamed of it, but to them, it’s just another quirk, like not being able to eat raw meat.

The next time they’re on the road, or at a festival together, Geralt is brooding just as much as usual, eyes darting this way and that, but before Jaskier can go and greet people (with his usual fake-it-till-you-make-it technique), Geralt stops him.

“Your friend Essi’s wearing a yellow dress with red accents,” he mutters under his breath. “Marx has a green doublet, that shade you hate. Avoid the man in the bright purple doublet and the brown pants, you slept with him last time and he threw you out. That woman at the right of the stage with the braid, she has a husband, you tried before.”

Jaskier gets so emotional that he can’t speak for a solid minute, and he ends up hugging Geralt instead. “Didn’t know you paid attention,” he says eventually.

“Just look at me if you’re not sure who someone is, I’ll tell you who to avoid,” Geralt says gruffly.

It’s not a perfect system, but Jaskier doesn’t offend a single person all day.

#the witcher #jaskier #geralt of rivia #geraskier #the witcher fanfiction #faceblindness #i'd like to have a spotter too please #i used to work at a library and when people came in after lunch #i had no idea if they'd been in that morning #i'd say hello and they'd be like uh i was here earlier #echo's fanfiction

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