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headcanonthings · 19 hours

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Geralt: Do you remember that hoodie I let you borrow? Jaskier: The black one? Geralt: Correct. Jaskier: I do remember it. Geralt: Okay, I want it back. Jaskier: Geralt: Give me my hoodie back. Jaskier: Why do you need it? Geralt: What?? Jaskier: Why do you need your hoodie back??

#incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #the witcher #jaskier #geralt of rivia #gerskier

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patroclusdefencesquad · 10 months

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can you believe it's actually canon now

#and he's dating ALL of these people #the witcher #incorrect witcher quotes #jaskier #geraskier #geraskefer #radskier #yennskier #and vespula. my most beloved #the witcher spoilers

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fanby-fckry · 3 months

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*Jaskier, getting his information taken after being arrested*

Guard: Name?

Jaskier: Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove.

Guard: Sex?

Jaskier: I wasn’t expecting to… But I won’t lie, this whole guard/prisoner thing is pretty hot.

Guard: No, I meant are you a man or a woman?

Jaskier: I’m a bard.

Guard: But what’s in your pants?

Jaskier: Nothing. You took all of my belongings.

Guard: What’s between your legs?

Jaskier:

Geralt: *under his breath* Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it

Jaskier: Your mother!

Geralt: Fuck.

#source: unknown #the witcher #the witcher incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #the witcher memes #incorrect quotes #jaskier #Julian Alfred Pankratz #geralt #geralt of rivia #geraskier #if you squint #fanby’s fuckery

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anya-chalotra · 10 months

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(insp)

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clown-of-rivia · 9 months

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#im right but on tumblr #another from my twt #the witcher #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher memes #netflix the witcher #eskel

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amphorographia · 2 years

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Geralt: What the fuck? The door's been locked from the outside

Yennefer: We seem to be trapped in one of those "can't leave until you have sex" rooms

Jaskier, unlacing his doublet: Okay, no big deal then

Geralt: Wait, uh, the sign says, Welcome to the "can't leave until you are emotionally honest with each other" room

Jaskier:

Yennefer:

Geralt:

Jaskier: We're going to die in here

#ciri locked the door #obviously #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #geraskier #yennskier #geraskefer #geralt x yennefer #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #the witcher #the witcher netflix #source: @16ruedelaverrerie

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ilikebigants · 1 year

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New headcannon: most Witchers don't have a lot of sex. The rumour that Witchers are really sexually active was started due to Vesemir's slut era and was solidified due to Geralt's escapades.

Everyone else has depression and can't get it up

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #witcher geralt #witcher #jaskier #witcher lambert #witcher eskel #jaskier'sbaddecisions™#aiden witcher #incorrect witcher quotes

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hopefully-helpful-daemon · 1 month

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Ciri: Do dragons fart fire?

Jaskier: I don't know.

Ciri: I thought you went to college

#the witcher incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher ciri #cirilla fiona elen riannon #cirilla of cintra #jaskier pankratz #the witcher jaskier #jaskier #the witcher

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mischievous-thunder · 2 years

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