#Always scared I’m being too pushy or too much or too obsessive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jackie5656 · 3 years

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🎄Fa-la-la-late🎄 With; Diego Hargreeves

A/N:Ummmm...hello? First off, thank you all so much for the love on my last couple imagines. Sorry for the hiatus, what can I say junior year is as hard as they say it is. Anyway, I was supposed to be sleeping last night but I was writing this instead. Leave it to me to become inspired at the worst times. This is for everyone celebrating a holiday this year without your family because of the pandemic (which is still a thing btw.) Also, this is very long but I love it. Okay enough talking, enjoy!

TW: None except...Well, Klaus is Klaus. And more random POV change bc I can!

He’s running, sprinting really, brown bag tucked haphazardly under his arm as it’s contents jostle around inside with his movements. Filled with last minute groceries for the evenings event. Never in Diego Hargreeves’ life had he thought he’d be rushing home in preparations for a Christmas party, in a red sweater for that matter. But what can he say, a year into his relationship with her and he’s officially whipped. Ever since the two of you met you had introduced him to an enormity of things he’d never considered important. Whether it be birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, you’ve added so much more to him that he could never really repay you for. So, he figures making a very last minute trip to the ever so crowded grocery store on Christmas Eve is worth it. Having to deal with other crazed and unprepared city people for three types of cheeses, four types of crackers, and a particularly expensive bottle of wine.

Apparently a Christmas party, or any get together for that matter, is simply incomplete without an assortment of appetizers. Right, Diego Hargreeves hosting a Christmas party for his siblings. The same ones who only learned about holidays in their World Culture textbooks during hours sectioned off on their daily regimen instead of actually celebrating them. The biting cold reminds him of the lonely Christmas’ throughout his life, which was at the time any other day of the year to him. He snaps out of the dark thoughts when he realizes he’s made it up the stairs and to the front door, a chorus of clanging pots and curses coming from inside.

He fumbles through the door, reminding himself he’s supposed to be rushing, but the beautifully decorated apartment distracts him from the task at hand. The warm feeling he’s still getting used to fluttering through his stomach as he recalls when you first surprised him with the holiday decor.

“It’s not too much, right? I know you never really celebrated Christmas, and neither of us are religious but my family always made the holidays a big deal and I thought-”

“You did all this?” His brown eyes are wide, gazing up at the assortment of twinkling lights aligning the interior of your shared home, a beautiful tree full of red and green ornaments in the middle of your living room. It’s stunning, to say the least, and Diego’s sure he’s never felt so much at home as he does now.

You’re gazing up at him, eyes nervously darting between your boyfriend and the assortment of ornaments. He walks forward from the entryway to admire the garland above the fireplace and the evergreen that just barely scruffs the top of the ceiling. It’s all new to him, and a bit overwhelming, and suddenly Diego realizes the resentment he’s held toward the holiday ever since he was a child was completely misguided. Because the joy he feels now, the warmth tingling throughout his body is foreign but so comforting.

“You hate it, don’t you? Listen, I just thought maybe I’d try and show you Christmas isn’t all about consumerism and selling shitty-”

“It’s beautiful.” He interrupts again, and you swear there’s a moisture begging to leave his eyes as he finally looks to you with an awed expression.

“I don’t, I’ve never...I always hated Christmas. I guess because I never had a real family as a kid. But this, this is j-just...Thank you.”

*End Flashback*

“You’re late!” You shout as the front door bursts open, a familiar thud of boots kicking snow off their bottoms and then walking towards the kitchen. Diego walks in with hands full with groceries, hair wet and messy with flurries of snow littering the raven strands. You narrow your eyes at the sight of him, dopey smile on his face as he sets the bags down on the counter.

“What’s gotten into you? I thought you’d still be grumpy at the fact that we’re hosting.” You’re less than presentable at the moment, having been cooking all day and leaving getting yourself ready for last minute. You puff a stray hair out of your face as he responds.

“Nothing, and actually I am still upset that my siblings are coming over.” He leans against the counter as you unpack the groceries, eager to finish up so you can look a little less crazy when the remaining Hargreeves arrive. Diego is still staring at you, grinning fondly at how flustered you look. And although he’d rather not have you meet his brothers and sister, you deserve to know why he’s keeping you from meeting. After all, it’s been a year since you’ve been together, and he’s met your family already.

It’s different though, because although they too have their issues, your family isn’t a dysfunctional pack of emotionally-stunted freaks. He’d much rather protect you from their intrusive antics. The warm feeling fades as he realizes what’s to come. He appreciates your optimism, truly, but he suddenly can’t shake the feeling that they’ll manage to upset you and ultimately screw up what you’ve been preparing for all day.

“A little help please?” You ground him once more, gesturing to the bags beside the both of you and the assortment of trays of food on the counters. Diego grabs onto your sides when you try to brush past him to check on the turkey, ignoring your incredulous look as he presses his body against yours.

“There’s still time to call this all off, you know. We can watch all the cheesy Christmas movies you want, and have dinner all to ourselves.” His eyes are hopefully looking into yours, the persuasion in his tone hinting a part of him isn’t really joking.

“Absolutely not. Di, we’ve been together for a year now. I want to get to know your siblings. Besides, you met my family and they loved you!”

“That’s different y/n, you’re family is...Well, they’re not like mine! You guys are normal! My brother is a moon-obsessed, half monkey moron and my sister is a mind-controlling movie star.” You can’t help but giggle at his words even though his frustration is adamant. He backs away from your embrace and runs his a hand through his hair in an effort to calm himself down. The sudden thought of one of them being too pushy or making you upset is overwhelming him now. If it’s one thing he’d like to keep you from, it’s the bad side of him his siblings tend to bring out.

“Diego.” Your voice is soft now, you’re using that love-laced tone that always makes him feel like he’s melting. He shivers as you get closer to him, still somehow getting used to the effect you have on him. And although you don’t notice, you seem to be aware you’re calming him down. “I’m scared too, I don’t want to mess something up or embarrass myself in front of them. Hell, your little-or...Older brother is a time traveling assassin who’s kind of a genius. It’s intimidating definitely, but they’re your family Di. I know you hate to admit it, but they’ve played a huge role in who you are. And even if a lot of times you resent each other, it’s clear you love them.”

He’s gotta admit, you’ve always had a way with words. “Fine, what can I do to help beautiful?”

“you can start with setting the table so I can get ready and actually look beautiful. And use the good China!” You plant a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing off to the bedroom, silently praying the anxious won’t drop a plate or two in the process.

****************************

“Baby, does red or white wine go with tur-woah.” You’re doing some finishing touches on your makeup when Diego walks in, honey brown eyes shamelessly looking over your figure with a smirk as he now leans against the door frame.

You roll you eyes at his ogling, but can’t help smoothing down the silky olive green fabric of the dress your wearing with a pleased smile. Gold jewelry adorns your neck and ears, with matching gold heels to bring the look together. The red of his sweater (he so stubbornly obliged to wearing) compliments the green you're wearing beautifully. A year ago, Diego wonders just how much it would take him to put on anything other than black.

“Cmon, they’ll be here any minute.”

As if I’m cue, the doorbell of the apartment rings. You rush to the front door, Diego trailing behind as he reminds himself how important the evening is to you.

“And remember, no knives.” You whisper to him, turning back around and opening the door.

“Fröhliche Weihnachten!” Klaus pushes through the entryway excitedly, tackling you in a hug in greeting. Luckily, you’ve already met the most eccentric sibling of the bunch. As he often crashes at your place, much to Diego’s disliking (or so he says).

“My my my, that dress is to die for! I’ll be borrowing that soon. And those heels! Please tell me we’re the same siz-”

“Alright bonehead, you can steal her stuff later. Take yourself and the booze to the kitchen.” Diego interrupts, shrugging when you slap his shoulder at his bluntness.

Greeting the rest of the family goes better than expected. Allison and Luther arrived together (an innocent carpool of course) whilst Vanya had come just a few minutes after Klaus, happy to see she wasn’t the first to arrive. She brought along with her a homemade dish, Allison with a top notch bottle of champagne, and Five with a box of Griddy’s donuts and...Coffee? His odd choice of food making the perfect ice breaker, to his confusion of course.

“Alright, enough small talk. Diego, how much are you paying this lovely lady to pretend to be your girlfriend?” Klaus interjects your conversation about current events as the rest of the table looks to the pair of you and laughs.

“Seriously, Allison couldn’t even rumor someone to be this good of a cook,” Luther chimes in. Not having looked up from his plate for a majority of the meal.

Although slightly offended, Diego realizes his siblings have a valid point. You’re blushing crimson as you laugh along, shaking your head and nervously rambling on about when you just last week almost burnt the apartment down trying to perfect said recipes. He’s entranced as you speak, admiring the way you seem to capture all of them with unknown ease. Unknown, truly, because you’re still too modest to see how perfect you are. He doesn’t deserve you, but he’ll spend every day trying to even out the impossible score. It's known he can be quite the competitor.

“I’m just shocked he’s out of black for once.”

“Says the 45 year old in a school uniform!”

**********************

“Alright, I’ll clear up dinner so we can start dessert.” Y/n announces, just in time to halt a three-way argument between her boyfriend, Luther and Five about some Academy mission from when they were kids. The evening has been lighthearted for the most part, with a majority of the conflict being steered off by Allison or Vanya. The two practically experts at distracting their egotistical brothers. You catch on as they do so, the three of you having shared a few sly smirks between one another a few times throughout the meal.

“Please y/n, let me. You’ve done more than enough tonight. Besides, I need someone to test out that wine for me.” Allison assures, kicking Diego’s shin and motioning to the kitchen when you’ve given her an appreciative smile and inquired Vanya on her violin skills.

Allison’s knife wielding brother shoots her a look of shock at her actions, trailing along confusedly after her. Your empty plate and his own in hand as he sets them down in the sink.

“What the hell? Why-where-you-hiding-her-from-us!) The curly haired woman emphasizes each word with a smack of a stray dish towel to his arm, sure nobody can hear them over Klaus’ obnoxious storytelling back in the dining room.

“Quit it! I wasn’t hiding her I-I was protecting her from you shitheads.” Diego defends, once again bewildered by his sister’s playful outburst.

“Diego! She’s amazing, you should’ve introduced us forever ago.”

“Right, she’s amazing. What do you not get by the word protecting? If you all had met her any sooner you would have scared her off!” He flails his arms as he speaks, unaware of his flushed cheeks as his sister smiles fondly at him.

“What now Allison?”

“You loooveee her.” She poke his side as she teases, chuckling again when he swats her arm away. The scene is childish, but something about the heat rising through his neck to the tips of his ears makes Diego feel like a kid again. Allison teasing him about girls, just as they had when they were young.

“Wh-whatever. Yeah, I love her. Can we go back to the table now, or should we paint our nails and giggle about how totes adorbs Luther Looks in that coat?” They both laugh at his mocking, leaving the room and too giddy to remember the discarded plates left behind.

***********************

“An espresso machine? Wow, Columbia-brewed K-cups too! You shouldn’t have y/n.” Five is beaming at the gift in hand, wrapping paper still hanging off the side of the box as he admires the machine. His siblings stare confusedly at his jolly demeanor, and he immediately clears his throat before giving said girl a curt nod. “Thanks.” He deadpans, and you laugh with a nod at his change in demeanor.

Luther and Allison have already opened their gifts, the burly man pointing to his miniature moon replica and lecturing about the craters and valleys to an extremely bored Klaus. Allison has already put on the elegant gold charm bracelet you’ve given her, rolling charm with Claire’s initials and birthstone on it with glossy eyes. Beside her, Vanya delicately peels the wrapping off to a freshly polished violin case, her name inscribed in cursive on the top.

“It’s beautiful. I-I’m so sorry we didn’t get you anything. If I had known-”

“Nonsense V, I’m just glad you could all make it tonight.” You reassure with genuine smile, glad to see her positive response to the nickname.

“I still can’t believe you got them gifts.” Diego mumbles from behind you, having climbed over the back of the couch you’re all sat on to have you sit between his legs. He kisses your temple and wraps his arms around your middle, softly humming when yo lean into him. The fireplace is crackling, and the record payer you love dearly quietly plays a Perry Como Christmas album. You close your eyes, taking in the warm feeling and relaxing in Diego’s touch. The two of you jumping when a shout comes from beside you.

“My turn! My turn!” Klaus claps loudly to grab your attention. You chuckle at his childish ways, leaning down to pick up the wrapped present at your feet and handing it off to him. Unlike the others, he eagerly rips apart the wrapping, gasping dramatically when he lifts up the skirt.

“You’re a bit hard to shop for, there’s a gift receipt if-” The excitable man scrambles up from the floor tug on the fabric, twirling around in it in a fit of giggles before you can finish your statement.

“Great, he’ll never take that off.” Diego mumbles in your ear, you shake your head with a smirk at his teasing before you’re reminded of something.

“Oh! And one more thing.” You note suddenly, climbing out of Diego’s hold as he huffs reluctantly. You pull a a final present from under the tree, secretly handing it to Klaus to make sure the others don’t see. Though they’re too enveloped in conversation to noticed.

“Another one for me?” He whispers happily, eyes furrowing when you shake your head. Sitting back down in Diego’s arms before you explain.

“No, well...Yes, sort of. You’ll see.” You ramble, gesturing to the box in his hands as he apprehensively chuckles. You feel Diego’s eyes on you, deciding to place a peck on his jaw instead of elaborating.

Klaus pulls out a pair of books, readig the well-known titles before looking up at you. You motion to the box once more, biting your nail as he sets them aside and reaches in once more. He pulls out picture frame with a sharp intake of breathe, hand going over his mouth as he looks up at you once more. Your boyfriend, eager to see what has silenced his rowdy brother, takes the frame to inspect it.

It’s a picture of him, Klaus, and Ben on the front steps of the academy. Having to be only five or six in the photo. Klaus has an arm around Ben, smiling big for the camera as his brother offers a smaller, but no less genuine grin to the lens. Diego sits a step above them, mouth frozen open in a laugh as he must of been reaction to something only Klaus could make him react so much at.

“I remember Di telling me Ben read a lot. And...Well, it felt wrong to get everyone else a gift but him. Those are two of my favorit-”

“Wh-Where did you find this?” Diego whispers, arms encircled even tighter around you as he holds up the frame in shock.

“When we were moving in. I found it at the bottom of one of the shelves at your room at the gym. It was under a bunch of old books you had, I figured it could use a frame.” Just as you finish, Klaus practically tackles you in a hug, a soft hiccup coming from him when he pulls away.

“Geez Klaus, it’s just a skirt!”

“Can-it Luther!”

*************************

“You think he’ll be alright?” You mutter from the bedroom hallway. You and Diego leaning against the wall, looking at Klaus whose passed out on the sofa. The others having left hours ago, but you simply couldn’t wake him at seeing how peaceful he was. The picture frame still tucked to his chest as he snored softly.

“Trust me, he’s fine. I think he’ll be sleeping in that skirt every night from now on.” Diego pulls you to your bedroom door as you laugh, the exhaustion from today finally setting.

“Hey, would you look at that? Mistletoe.” Your head trails upwards to gaze up at the fruit being dangled above your head as you grin.

“Those are grapes Di.”

“Are they? Hmm, must be from that stupid cheese board I had to run across town for.”

“It’s a chacuterie, actually. Didn’t you learn French Hargreeves?”

“Yep, but I only seem to remember two words.”

“Oh really? And what might those be?”

“Embrasse moi” He finishes as he connects his lips with yours, holding your face as if you might slip away when he lets go.

“Smooth, knife boy.” You pull away softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

“Merry Christmas Di.”

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves imagines #The Umbrella Academy #umbrella acedmy #vanya hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #five hargreeves #klaus #klaus hargreeves #tua netflix #netflix #christmas #fiction #imagines #tua fanfic #ben hargreeves

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mytwistedhome · 4 years

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Pomefiore and Ignihyde when they find out you have Anorexia

Trigger warning to anyone who suffers with an eating disorder!!

I decided to write these headcanons because I've been having a really tough two weeks, and thinking of the twst boys makes me happy...

I hope this can maybe bring comfort to someone else, or at least provide some bit of entertainment. My intention is not to cause harm or trigger anyone. That is the last thing I want.

Other dorms will be coming as well! I already started working on all of them, but I just haven’t finished them. They will most likely be posted the next time I have a bad day //

One more quick thing: I will be posting requests this week! I’ve already broken several promises that I made in regards to the time I’d post, and I feel horribly guilty. I’m sorry for the wait. I know I shouldn’t tell you to expect something on a certain day and then delay it for weeks. I should be honest about my efficiency, and I am sorry.

I'm also sorry for not responding to message (this applies to all my blogs...) I see them, but then forget about them, and then cower away because I feel like I'm already too late. I hope this little apology is enough to suffice... I'll apologize properly to every person when I find the courage. I know I shouldn't be doing this to people who've been kind to me just because I feel unwell. Please know that I am very sorry, and I'm trying to be more responsible and less careless to those around me.

💜

Vil Shoenheit

So that's why your skin is so dry and you have bags under your eyes

He scolds you at first. He believes that you’re starving to get a good figure, and he tries to inform you that doing so is unhealthy and that being malnourished actually makes a person quite ugly.

As if you haven’t already heard all this before

You try to tell him that you’re not doing this to look good. At least, not anymore. Sure, it started out as a way to lose weight, but it soon became an obsession much more meaningful than beauty or weight-loss.

He doesn’t understand. Why would you deliberately hurt yourself like that? Especially when you’re aware of all these negative outcomes?

Nevertheless, he is still very worried about you

He wouldn't normally concern himself with such a personal problem, but he would feel so guilty if he just stood back and watched you whither away

So, he does, indeed, go out of his way to try and help you

He finds a psychology book about eating disorders in the library, and he reads it in its entirety

He is... quite disturbed. He never imagined that you could be suffering so badly.

He's smart enough to realize that he, himself, can't do anything to make you better

He encourages you to seek professional help, and he even searches for phone numbers you can call and therapists/counselors close by of whom you can see

You are really touched by his efforts to find help, and you promise him that you will see one of the counselors he recommended

But... several weeks go by, and you haven't done anything

Vil grows furious. Don’t you want help!?

He takes your lack of seeking help rather personally... He went out of his way to provide with the things he felt that you really needed. Don’t you appreciate that? Don’t you care about yourself? What more do you want him to do?

You try to tell him that you don’t want him to do anything, that you’ll find help when you’re ready--

Vil isn’t buying that

What does “ready” mean, anyways? When you’re already in the grave?

He’s a bit harsh on you... He points out the patches of dry skin along your neck and chest, the way the hairs of your arms always stand on end from goosebumps, the metallic taste in your mouth...

Are you happy with those things? Do you really want to live this way?

You try and try to explain to him that it’s hard to get help and go back to eating normally

It spirals into an argument...

Vil is done with this. He did what he could and got you the resources you need to begin recovery. Once you decide to get help, he will be there for you. He will be there whenever you reach out for support, comfort, or care. But, until then, don’t talk to him about it. Don’t complain about your misery until you have sought proper help. It’s your fault at this point, isn’t it?

Rook Hunt

He had noticed that you were very quickly losing a lot of weight

He was concerned, but he never imagined that the problem could be something so serious

You're actually surprised with just how much he's concerned. You thought that if there was anyone to romanticize such a disease, it would be him

But he seems to know more than you thought about such disorders

He begs you to get professional help, and he is quite a bit more pushy and earnest than Vil is...

You try to explain to him that no doctor or therapist could ever help unless you were READY and WANTED to be helped

Well, he doesn't understand why you don't want help

He's pushing and pushing you... begging you to seek a professional

You get so frustrated that you turn and leave. He just doesn't understand!

And now Rook is even more distressed. How will he ever get through to you? How can he ever help you?

Now, every time he sees you, he looks at you with such sorrow

He sadly remarks upon how your beauty is fading... and how he fears that your life may be fading as well

Your heart aches to hear such sincere worry... Your chest feels tighter than it normally does as you crumble with guilt

You promise yourself you'll get better... Just so you won't have to see Rook with a horribly sad expression whenever he passes you

You start eating more in front of him to ease his worry, which does work a little bit

You add about 400 more calories to your usual intake--enough so that your "recovery" becomes visible through the way you bounce with energy

But you stay up late at night, running laps and doing situps to burn off some of that intake

And you keep losing weight

In fact, it's worse now because your body is aching from the unfamiliar intake and exercise...

Well, at least you look better

At least you have Rook fooled

Or so you think. It'll only be a matter of weeks before he catches onto your schemes and grows so distressed once again

He tries to sit you down and have a talk with you... He just really wants you to get help

Epel Felmier

Poor Epel finds out after he witnesses you collapsing in the middle of the hallway when no one else is around

He panics and rushes to your side, trying to see what is wrong and how he can help you

You blacked out for several seconds, which is why you collapsed, but even though you have your vision back, everything is still very cloudy and you are too weak to stand up

This makes Epel panic even more

You try to calm him down, despite your weakness

"it's okay, Epel...! Just get me something to eat. Please, I need something to eat. Hurry!"

He is a bit confused, but he does what you say, and he rushes off to find you some food

While he is gone, you try to stand, but to no avail. Your stomach aches with hunger and you are cold all over. Your body just feels so miserable

He rushes back to you with an apple and places his hands on your shoulders in concern as you quickly eat it down

That apple... It's the best thing you've ever tasted, but it's gone too quickly, and your mouth waters for more as the last bites slide down your throat

Although it was small, it still gives your body such a blissful burst of energy. All your senses are ignited now that you have finally eaten something after such a long fast, and your head is hurting far less

You stand up and smile at Epel, thanking him graciously before turning to leave

Uuuhhhhh.... What was that?

You suddenly collapse on the ground and then are all better after eating a simple apple?

No way is Epel going to let you go just like that. He holds you back, demanding an explanation, for it surely seems you know quite a bit about this bizarre thing that just happened

You try to tell him it's nothing, just a strange thing that happened this one time

Well, then, how did you know how to fix it by eating something?

You quickly lie and tell him you get dizzy sometimes and fall due to low blood sugar

Well, now your story is inconsistent

He presses you for the truth, growing rather angry

His harsh tone begins to scare you, and you tell him... You tell him that, sometimes, you go days without eating, and it of course causes you to grow so weary that you faint

You watch as all the frustration quickly rushes away from Epel's face, leaving his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock

"That... That's really unhealthy..."

Oh, great. Not this speech again

But, it actually isn't a lecture about how this is such a "dangerous diet"

Instead, Epel pours out all his concern with a sad look upon his face

He knows that he can't do much, but he assures you that you can come to him if ever things become too tough to handle

You're touched by his offer, and you thank him for his understanding

But, now, everytime he's around, he watches you with care to see if you're doing alright and to make sure you don't fall over again

You hadn't expected him to worry this much...

If Epel ever thinks that things are getting out of hand, he will likely go behind your back to someone who can help for your sake

💙

Idia Shroud

He really wishes that he hadn't found out because now he can't stop worrying

This is the kind of thing that would just be easier to ignore and shut away from his mind

But how could he possibly ignore something as serious as this?

He keeps telling himself that this isn't supposed to be his issue

But... It is his issue, isn't it? If you ended up dying and he knew all along about your suffering yet did nothing to help, than that would mean that he aided in your death, right?

He's really starting to panic. He doesn't what you dead. Not at all

But... What is he supposed to do???

He calms himself down and tries to think

Perhaps if he built you a mechanical body that didn't need food this whole thing would seize to be a problem...

No, bad idea

Well, that will be his last resort if nothing else works...

He messages you and tries to plead with you to please just eat and take care of yourself...

You message back, explaining to him that it really isn't that simple

He decides to ask why you're doing this, and he tries to show through his words how much he really cares

You feel comfortable enough in telling him some of the reasons why you think you started, and why it's now so hard to stop and all you want is to continue with it...

Idia is happy that you were able to open up to him this much, but what is he really supposed to do with this information? He's no therapist...

Well, being vulnerable with you emotions and talking about the problem is at least one step in the right direction, isn't it?

Idia continues to try to be a source of comfort for you, while also encouraging you to seek proper help

Ortho Shroud

Oh, no... He can’t help you with this, can he?

Why can’t he help you? Why won’t you get better?

Surely nii-san programmed him with something that could help you...

Right...?

RIGHT!?

Why aren’t you better?

Why are you doing this to yourself!?

Ortho is a mess... so distressed. He can’t understand--he doesn’t have the capacity to understand such a disorder, and he is so frustrated that nothing he does is helping!

And he does everything

He exhausts himself trying to “fix your mind”

His eyes are wide, yellow irises shaking with misery

Knowing that you are willingly hurting yourself actually traumatizes him...

He can't wrap his head around such an awful mental illness. To him, it looks as though you're really trying to harm, hurt, and even kill yourself by your own accord

Something must be wrong with your brain, but he just doesn't know what!

The poor child is so upset. He's panicked and worried sick

And now you feel even worse

Sorry for ending on such a horrible note... I was originally going to have all the dorms, so Diasomnia would’ve come and saved the day, but I just didn’t finish them.

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apoguecalledjj · 4 years

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Fixation (Chapter 6)

Series summary: Eleanor is new to the outer banks, and the pogues are quick to take her in. But so are the kooks, and as she grows closer with Rafe, trouble emerges. Trying to balance her relationship with the pogues and the kooks, as well as dealing with her own personal problems, Eleanor falls into a hole she may not be able to dig herself out of.

Chapter Word Count: 3366

Chapter Warnings: mentions of addiction and drug use

Previous Parts: Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6

Taglist: @prejudic3 @maragritatimebaybee @drewxxrudy @outerbankslove @bricksatanakinswindow @alexa-playafricabytoto

Rafe made it clear that he did not want Ellie hanging out with the pogues. When he woke up the day after their argument, he started another one, yelling at her once again. She only managed to calm him down by promising him that he would stay away from them. Even though Ellie was beginning to become scared of her boyfriend after their physical altercation, she still didn’t keep her promise. Living with a crazy, drug-addicted mom had taught her a lot about sneaking around and she was putting those skills to good use. Rafe was spending a lot of time with Topper and Kelce anyway, which made it easy. She had been hanging out with the pogues a lot. To be honest, she only went to Rafe’s every couple of nights to get high and have sex. He seemed content, now and then he would accuse her of avoiding him but once the cocaine got into him it was always forgotten about. Currently, Ellie was sat on the dock by the chateau. John B and Sarah sat across from her, Kiara and JJ on either side and Pope in the hammock a couple of feet away. It was a beautiful day, but for some reason, they had decided against swimming and instead had spent the morning sitting around, drinking beer and complaining about being bored. JJ had his arm draped loosely over Ellie’s shoulders. She had expected his friendliness to change once he found out she was dating Rafe, but he never faltered. She always brushed it off, because JJ flirts with everyone, but she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t notice the way he had stopped drifting away to tourists at parties or how John B and Pope constantly teased him and asked him if he was okay. According to them, he hadn’t gone this long without getting laid or even kissing a girl in over a year. Thinking that JJ might actually be seriously flirting with her made her stomach twist in a way she tried to ignore. Ellie knew Rafe wouldn’t be impressed with the way JJ was treating her, especially since she wasn’t meant to be hanging out with him at all. Yet, she never pushed him away or asked him to stop, because secretly, she enjoyed it. “Ellie, you never did mention what brought you to the outer banks,” Pope mentioned, looking at her from where he was in the hammock. “Is Travis your mom's brother or your dad's?” JJ could feel her tense underneath his arm, and he gently squeezed her shoulder. Besides her aunt and uncle, he was still the only person on the island to know her secret, she hadn’t even told Rafe. Not that Rafe cared enough to even ask. “uh,” She mumbled, looking down and picking at the skin around her fingernails. She hated hiding things from the pogues, they were so nice and open with her, and she did feel like they deserved to know. She trusted them. But it had always been hard for her to talk about, no matter who with. Not to mention it brought her mind right back to the fact that she was falling right into her mother’s footsteps. The scariest part was she didn’t care enough to change it. Ellie was already in too deep. JJ leaned over slightly, so his lips were near her ear. “Don’t feel like you have to tell them, El.,” He assured. “They’re not pushy. They’ll understand.” Ellie nodded, but she knew it was time to finally let them know. All of her new friends were looking at her, eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and sympathy. She continued to pick at her fingers, preparing herself to possibly change her friend's opinion of her. “It’s a bit hard for me to talk about,” She started. Her brain was flicking through memories like photographs. The day her little sister was born. Birthday parties. Vacations. Her mom, healthy and happy. First days of school. Then, as the timeline continued, less of her mom. More of Ellie taking care of her sister. Her mom stumbling home late with men Ellie didn’t trust around her sister. Needles left lying around that she was left to dispose of. Getting eviction warnings. Quitting sports to get a job. She didn’t even realize she was crying until JJ reached up and gently brushed a tear away. She sniffled, quickly wiping her eyes. There was no need for them to see her cry. “It’s okay, Ellie, you don’t have to tell us. We don’t mind.” Kiara spoke softly, smiling at her gently. She shook her head, continuing to speak. “My mom is a drug addict.” It felt like a weight was left off her chest, just letting that one piece of information out. She didn’t look up, had no intentions of locking eyes with any of the pogues. She could imagine well enough how they were looking at her. “She lost her job. It got worst and worst. I was terrified we would end up homeless. I had to give up all my after school activities, I got a job and worked as much as I could. I was selfish, I know I should have told someone or asked for help, but I was terrified of getting separated from my sister. I didn’t want to lose Sadie. She’s only 9.” Ellie choked up at the mention of her sister. JJ rubbed her back slowly, trying his best to soothe her even though he understood that probably wasn’t possible. “Eventually it got too much. My grades were dropping. I almost failed my junior year. Mom was spending more time at home instead of at other houses, and she brought men with her. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Sadie in that house. I was scared something would happen to her. “I called DCS. I fucking called DCS on my own mother,” She sobbed out. This was the most she had ever told anyone. “They came to take my sister. They had contacted her dad, a man she didn’t even know, and he decided to fight for custody. It was short, because of the situation, and he won. She went with him. I went with uncle Travis, even though I begged to stay home. I needed to take care of my mom. She needed me.” JJ pulled Ellie even closer as her body shook with the sobs overcoming her. Sarah and John B were frozen in shock, John B had suspected something had happened for her to come here that she was uncomfortable talking about, but this wasn’t what he expected. Kiara grabbed her hand, squeezing it slightly. “They promised me I’d hear from my sister. That we would stay in contact. I haven’t heard from her yet. I don’t even know who her fucking father is, cause my mom was a goddamn slut and we had different dads. Surprised she only ended up with two kids.” The anger in her voice quickly shifted back to sadness. “I don’t even know what happened to my mom,” Ellie whimpered. “She might be dead.” “They wouldn’t let anything happen to her, El,” JJ reassured her as she sobbed into his chest. “She’s getting the help she needs.” “I just wish they’d let me know,” Ellie muttered. “Uncle Travis refuses to talk about her.” Kie wrapped her arms around Ellie. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve to go through that.” Sarah shifted over and joined the hug as well. “I’m sure you’ll hear from your sister soon.” Before long, Pope and John B had joined as well, and the six of them sat on the dock, huddled together in a group hug around Ellie, as her sobs slowly quieted and her body stopped shaking, comforted by her friends. --- Rafe had dragged Ellie to a party, but it wasn't on the beach like she was used to. Instead, she was at some random kook's house, music vibrating the wall and way too many unfamiliar faces. Pogues weren't welcome at these parties, Rafe told her. She wasn't stupid, she knew they stopped going to the Boneyard because her friends were there. He was dragging her here so she would be away from them. But his plan failed, because only an hour after they got there, there were shouts and whoops from the front door. The pogues were crashing the party, and Ellie had never been more glad to see some faces she knew. The party had been dull so far, and now there might be some excitement. Rafe’s eyes narrowed, glancing between his girlfriend next to him and the four pogues he noticed her staring at. It angered him, he could tell she longed to go talk to them. Her eyes were fixated on JJ specifically. God, Rafe hated that guy, hated the way Ellie seemed to be obsessed with him. That would have to be dealt with. JJ turned and finally noticed Ellie. “We should go say hi!” He said to John B, his eyes locked on the beautiful girl across the room. He didn’t notice it, but his smile grew wider. John B shook his head. “No man, are you crazy? She’s with Rafe.” JJ hadn’t noticed Rafe until John B pointed him out, standing right next to Ellie. She looked slightly uncomfortable, tense, and Rafe looked unhappy, angry even, his eyes slowly scanning the room. So JJ just waved at her instead, not being able to help himself. He saw her slight smile as she moved her hand to wave back, but Rafe grabbed her arm before she could lift it. JJ could tell he was holding Ellie too hard, he saw her wince at his grip. Rafe’s lips were moving angrily, but JJ was too far away to pick out what was being said. “John B he’s hurting her,” JJ said, turning to his best friend, but the brunet was nowhere to be seen. He glanced back at where Ellie was but the spot was now empty, the girl he cared so deeply about, and the boy who was hurting her gone. He glanced around, looking for any signs of her, but there were too many people at the party and whichever kook lived here had a huge house. Rafe’s hand grasped Ellie’s arm tightly. “Stop fucking staring at the pogues,” He sneered in her ear, quiet enough that no one could hear. “You’re here with me, alright? I don’t need my girl being seen with those fucking dirtbags.” He pulled back a bit, loosening his grip. Ellie stared at him with wide eyes, shocked that he would get so angry in public. “Come on now, baby,” He said, softer now. “Let’s go get the fun started.” He dragged her into a room just down the hallway, where multiple kooks she didn’t recognize were sat around a table covered in lines of white powder. Her body finally relaxed at the sight of the drug in front of her, she was eager to get across the room and lean down to the table. She tore away from Rafe, and before long, Ellie was bent over the table with the rest of them, a dollar bill rolled and assisting her in snorting the drug. She sighed happily, the feeling she missed and craved for finally coming back to her. All the conflict from Rafe was forgotten as he sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her, leaning down to do a line of his own. JJ quickly found his friends and a beer and tried his best to relax and enjoy himself, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Ellie had looked so upset, Rafe so angry, and he feared what the boy might do to her in a state of anger. “Guys I think we should go look for Ellie,” He mentioned to Pope and Kiara. John B and Sarah were off god knows where probably doing things no one wanted to think about. "JJ, she's with Rafe and you know how that'll end. I'm sure she's fine." Pope assured JJ. "I'm worried though, Rafe looked angry at her earlier. We don't have to talk to her, I just want to know where she is." He told the two. "Please," he added on after. "Okay fine," Kie gave in. "But just to find where she is. We are not talking to her. And don't make it obvious that we're looking for her, especially to Rafe." The three made their way around the party, squeezing around various kooks who did not seem too impressed by the pogues. They poked their head into room after room, praying that they wouldn't come across a couple having sex. Ella wasn't in the bathrooms, and she definitely wasn't still out at the party. Pope drifted down a hallway and stopped outside an open door. "Oh fuck," He muttered, leaning slightly against the wall. "Fuck. Fuck." "What? What is it?" JJ rushed over to where Pope was standing, Kiara not far behind. But Pope had no need to answer because the two could easily see what he had: Ellie sat around a table with half a dozen kooks, the surface in front of her scattered with cocaine. JJ prayed that Ellie was just there with Rafe, that she would know better than to get caught up in that, but all his prayers went out the window as he watched her grab the dollar bill from Rafe's hand and bend down. Kiara's breath hitched in her throat. "Oh, Ellie," She mumbled. We have to do something, guys." Pope said, moving towards the door. "No." JJ, of all people, held Pope back. "Look at how effortless she does it. The smile on her face. No one is pressuring her, I don't think this is her first time. If we rush in there telling her off, we just risk getting beat to shit by Rafe and his friends. We'll talk to her tomorrow after she works." Pope and Kiara nodded and turned, making their way back to the party. But JJ stayed just a minute longer, his heartbreaking as he watched Ellie fall in the steps of her mother. --- JJ didn’t wait until after work. The moment Ellie walked through the door, ready to clock into her shift, he jumped up. “Hey JJ!” She said excitedly, but her smile faltered when she noticed he didn’t match her energy. “Is something wrong?” “Yeah, somethings wrong,” JJ told her, sitting back down at the table with Pope, John B, and Sarah. Ellie scraped her brain, trying to figure out what this could be about. But she came up empty-handed, she couldn’t figure out what the pogues wanted to talk to her about. Kiara made her way out from behind the counter to the table they were sitting at. “Come on.” She motioned for Ellie to sit down with them. “Work can wait.” Kiara’s eyes looked stressed, and a quick glance at JJ and she could tell he hadn’t slept, dark bags under his eyes. Ellie pulled out a chair and sat down with them, fiddling nervously with her fingers under the table. She chewed at her lip until she tasted blood, her mind racing with possibilities of what was about to occur. “We saw you last night at the party,” Pope said softly. Ellie screwed up her face in confusion. She knew they had seen her, JJ had even waved. “After we got there,” Kiara added, sensing her confusion. “You were in a room.” Finally, everything fell together for Ellie. The pogues had seen her doing cocaine. They knew. Her breathing quickened, her hands beginning to shake slightly. They were never supposed to find out, and now here she was, five pairs of eyes staring at her with sadness, sympathy, and disappointment. She pushed back her chair harshly, standing up. “I don’t want to have this conversation.” John B, who had been sat on the left of her, grabbed her wrist softly. “Ellie, we want to help you.” He and Sarah had been filled in the night before, and even though they didn’t physically see it, they were just as shocked as the other three. “I don’t need your guys help.” Ellie took a step back. “It’s just cocaine.” “I know you’re smarter than that, Ellie. It’s not ‘just cocaine’. You have a history of addiction in your family. Do you really want to end up like your mom?” Pope asked, but that was the wrong thing to say. Ellie scoffed and turned on her heels, not wanting anything to do with the five people behind her right now. “I’m not my fucking mom.” She stormed across the room, letting the door slam on her way out. “Good job Pope!” JJ shouted before jumping up to go after her. Kiara went to get up too but JJ put out his hand, “No, stay there. I got this.” JJ found Ellie outside, leaned up against her uncle's truck. Tears were silently streaming down her face. Now that he knew about her usage, he was angry with himself for not knowing something was up sooner. Her nostrils were red and irritated, and she had lost weight in only the few weeks she had been here. Her hands were always shaking and her mood swings were quite severe, but JJ had always brushed that off as PMS. “El,” He mumbled quietly, reaching her side. “I’m not in the mood to be yelled at, JJ,” She muttered, shifting her body away from him. “I’m not gonna yell at you.” He grabbed her shoulder lightly and turned her so she was facing him. “I’m just worried about you, okay? I’m not mad.” Ellie nodded slowly, before breaking out into a sob. “I’m sorry, JJ,” She leaned her body into him, her face buried in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “I fucked up, I know but Rafe is always doing it. I didn’t think it would hurt. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But now I can’t stop and JJ I’m so scared because I really don't want to end up like my mom and-” JJ cut her off. “Hey, El, shhh. It’s okay. We’re gonna help you, okay? You’re not gonna end up like your mom. You’re stronger than that, okay? It’s okay,” He gently kissed the top of her head, her sobbing getting quieter and her shaking slowing. “I’m sorry, JJ,” Ellie said, pulling back to look at him. her eyes were red and puffy, she looked so sad, and nothing could have broken his heart more. He hated to see her like this. “You’ve barely known me for three weeks and this is what you have to deal with. I don’t expect you to help, JJ.” “Of course I’m going to help you.” “Why?” Ellie couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to deal with her. “Because I’m falling in love with you, El. You make me feel things, things I’ve never felt before. I care about you, so, so fucking much and seeing you hurt like this is tearing my heart apart. Seeing you get better is the only thing I want to see.” Ellie smiled softly. “You really mean all that?” JJ nodded. “I do.” Neither of them knew who leaned in first, but their lips were pressed together. It felt right, this wasn’t how Ellie felt when she kissed Rafe, this was better. JJ’s arm wrapped around her waist lightly, his other hand gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. He bit her bottom lip softly and she opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to slip in. They could have stayed like that forever, Ellie’s hand tangled in JJ’s hair as she leaned up against the truck for support. But footsteps heading towards them quickly and they pulled apart, smiling at each other for just a second. But when Ellie turned to see who was coming, the smile fell quickly. Rafe was stood, just a couple feet away, a glare on his face, aimed more at JJ than Ellie. “Ellie, you want to explain to me what the fuck is going on?”

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simsadventures · 4 years

Text

After All: Chapter 10: Decisions, Decisions

Summary: You contemplate whether to let Bucky in or not. And Bucky thinks about ways to prove to you that he’s worth a second chance, and he finds one.

Warnings: swearing, fluff, a lot and lot of fluff

Word Count: 2904

A/N: I feel like Bucky deserves a second chance, you guys. Are we on the same boat? Hope you’ll enjoy it, and feedback is my fuel, so don’t be scared to tell me what you think even if it’s a criticism. Love y’all.

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

You hated this constant fight between your heart and your mind. It went on for weeks, and you were getting tired. You wanted to resolve it, once and for all, let go of the other option and just go on with your life as it was. The biggest pain in your ass was, however, Bruce. He became the biggest fan of the idea of you and Bucky together, although he probably thought he was super subtle about it.

Ever since the movie night on Friday, he would make suggestion where you two could go, and whenever you went there, Bucky was already in the place. IT could be anything- common rooms, gym, garden, hell, you even met him once in your favourite coffee shop outside the compound. You were secretly sure FRIDAY was cooperating with the two of them, informing them on each other’s movements. It was so damn frustrating! You wanted to think about something else on your days with Bruce, but him and Bucky wouldn’t let you.

Funny thing was that Bruce actually tried to play it like a coincidence, like Oh, look who is here? Who could’ve known? and shit like that, and actually thought he was good enough actor to pull it off. He wanted to go to the gym on Wednesday afternoon, to let of some steam, but you weren’t having any of it.

“FRIDAY?” You called from the hallway. “Yes, Doctor Y/L/N?” “Could you tell me where is Sergeant Barnes right now?”

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes is currently in the gym.”

You clenched your jaw and turned to face Bruce. You could see he was having an internal fight, whether to turn around and run for his dear life, yell at FRIDAY for not being able to keep a secret, or start apologising to you ASAP. But seeing your pissed off expression, he decided fairly quickly.

“I was just trying to help, Y/N: I mean, sure, he is a dick, but like… you two would be so good together and I can see you two missing the hell out f each other, and I thought if I could help even a little bit, it would be great, you know? I just wanted to see you happy again!” Bruce was rambling on and on, but you stopped listening. You knew that ultimately, he really wasn’t doing anything wrong, and just wanted to push, or better, shove you in the right direction. Or at least the direction he himself thought was right.

“Shut it, Banner. I got it, ok? But no more of this bullshit. I want to be able to make a decision on my own, without you two watching over my shoulder, nudging me day and night to finally make one. I’ll decide, and Bucky will be the first to know, but you both need to give me some space. I can’t think when you’re breathing on my neck, whispering Bucky is the best, all over again.” You smiled at Bruce warmly, and he blushed. He knew you were right and he pestered himself for being too pushy towards you. After all, he knew you were smart enough to make the right decision, if he liked it or not.

“Can we still spend our afternoon together? Nat is on a mission, and I was actually looking forward to this.” He said with a small smile playing on his lips. You chuckled at his behaviour. “Of course, I was looking forward to it too, but no mention of Bucky, we clear?” He just nodded with fervour and you were on your way. “One more thing,” Bruce suddenly stopped. You frowned and raised your eyebrow at him.

“FRIDAY? Tell Sergeant Barnes if he asked where we were that we didn’t wish to be interrupted, and that he should do something constructive with his time today.” You laughed out loud, and treaded towards the compound’s swimming pool. It was gonna be a good day, carefree for once.

—-

“FRIDAY! Can you tell me where Banner and Y/N are?” They should’ve been here almost half an hour ago, as Bucky and Bruce agreed, but there was still nobody coming to the gym.

“Sergeant Barnes. I’m to inform you that Doctor Banner and Doctor Y/N do not wish to be interrupted, and that you should do something better with your time, sir.” FRIDAY hollered back at him. “Excuse me? I didn’t ask what they said, I asked where the fuck are they?”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not telling you, Have a nice day.” Bucky knew that FRIDAY wouldn’t talk to him, unless it was a compete necessity or urgency. He huffed out, and sat on the mat. He just wanted to see you, nothing else. Was that so wrong? He was about to stand up, and go look for you, when a strong hand landed on his shoulder.

He knew nobody would be so stupid to come behind at him, except Steve, so he didn’t even look up. “What do you want, punk?”

“Why are you sitting here like a wet dog, waiting for his bone? That’s a more suitable question, I think.” Steve was being a smug idiot, because he was well aware why was Bucky looking the way he looked.

“She was supposed to come down here, so I could catch a glimpse of her, but Banner switched teams, apparently, and I have no idea where they are. What if she’s in danger? What if she needs me?”

Steve just chuckled and slumped down next to his friend. “She is with the Hulk, I think she’ll be alright. And there was obviously no security breach, so unless a meteorite falls right on her head, she should be fine.” Steve was having fun at this, but his suggestion made a new anxiety rise up in Bucky. What if there really was some extraterrestrial object which could fall on you?

Steve obviously saw right into Bucky’s head, because he interrupted his line of thought. “Relax, she’s just fine, jerk. Don’t you think you are obsessing a little too much over her?”

“I screwed up, Stevie, and I want her to see that I’m nothing like that, that I’m a good guy, but I have to idea how to do it. I can see that she still thinks about us, and what we are, were, or could be, but I need the answer. At the same time, I wouldn’t want to push her, you know? So I talked to Bruce and we agreed that I wouldn’t make a move, but he would let me know where they were going once a day, and I could catch a glimpse of her. I just miss her. I’m a fucking idiot.”

“You’ve been saying that a lot lately. But did you do anything to prove it to her? That you’re not that guy she thought you were, and that you were actually one of the good ones? Except the one movie night, I mean.”

Bucky thought about it. He would always come to you and tell you how sorry he was, and that he really was an ass, and begged for forgiveness, but he never really made sure you got the right message. Anyone could use words, anyone could make promises, but Bucky suddenly realised that he needed more. He needed action to prove his words, and to show you just how serious he really was.

He knew you weren’t one for the grand gestures. Not that you wouldn’t be able to appreciate them, but flying you to Paris and showing you around the most romantic place on Earth would probably be a little too much. But what could Bucky make that would tell you of his true intentions? What was the key to your heart? Bucky contemplated for a while, and then an idea hit him. It hit him like a truck, smashing his brain and giving him an insight into what might actually work. What was the one thing he really knew you enjoyed and that made you really happy? Huh! He really got it, and he would make sure it was perfect.

—-

The afternoon at the pool was filled with laughter and relaxation. You really needed a day like this, where you could stop thinking for a second and just enjoy yourself. You didn’t want to be pushed in a certain direction all the time, and you were glad Bruce got the message, and the only pushing was you throwing Bruce into the water. You probably could think better than doing this, because it took you a good 15 minutes to try and calm him down, because patches of green started to appear here an there on his neck and arms. The big guy probably thought they were in danger, and not just you doing stupid pranks on Bruce. But after that, you put yourself back in line and enjoyed time spent with your friend.

You didn’t even have the energy to do something about the movie night on Friday, so you thought if Bucky wanted to come, you’d let him in and you’d probably enjoy your night, but you weren’t about to organise anything.

Thursday and Friday went by quickly, thanks mainly to Tony, because you were shut in his office for the past two days, trying to figure out better ways to put on his suit. You had fun with him, but Tony was also a perfectionist, so you couldn’t move too quickly, or move at all for that matter. Tony first wanted ideas and than trial and error, which you thought was funny because you knew very well how the first real Iron Man suit came to life. Nevertheless, you spent your time switching ideas between the two of you, and before you realised it, it was already the end of your day.

You were only able to take a good shower, and change to your home outfit, when you heard someone knocking on your door. Given it was Friday night, you kinda thought it would be Bucky, so you weren’t surprised when you opened the door, to see him staring at you.

“Hey, Bucky, you’re here earlier than usual. I haven’t even eaten yet, to be honest, but-“ You wanted to continue but Bucky’s raised hand shut you up effectively.

“Good, I’m glad you haven’t eaten just yet. Could you grab your sweatshirt and follow me?”

You wanted to protest, or at least ask what this was all about, but the look on Bucky’s face told you to shut up, be quick, and just do what you’re told. You quickly walked to your drawer, and pulled out your favourite grey hoodie, and went back to Bucky, who was still standing in your door frame. When he saw you approaching, he smiled, and started walking out, expecting you to follow him. He did turn around once to see if you were still there, and when he found out that you really didn’t question him (and try to ruin the surprise he made for you), he slowed down a little, so that you two could walk side by side.

You were chewing on your lower lip, trying to remain quiet, but you were a very curious person by nature, so this silence and dread wasn’t doing you much good. “Don’t worry, doll, we’re almost there.”

“And where exactly is this there?” You couldn’t help but ask. Bucky smirked and shook his head, knowing well enough that if you really tried, and gave him puppy eyes, he would tell you all the secrets he knew. That’s why he wanted to reach the destination in a very short time, so that he wouldn’t have to hold it in too long. He didn’t want to have any secrets in front of you, even if it was a cute one like this.

You didn’t pry as you saw how hard he was trying not to reveal anything. You were nervous, but realised that it was the good kind of nervous. You could see that Bucky was anxious as well, and that he obviously cared enough to keep it such a secret from you. You stepped outside, where it was already dark, and walked around the corner of the building.

You suddenly stopped in your tracks, seeing why was Bucky so secretive and weird.

There was a huge blanket laid on the ground, on top of which was two picnic baskets, projector, and two other blankets, probably for the two of you to snuggle underneath it when the night grew colder. There were also candles, and you couldn’t even count them- that’s how many there was. It looked like a scene from a movie.

“I thought we could have a bit different movie night, if you’re up for it, of course.” You were speechless. The whole scene looked like something from a dream of yours. It was perfect.

You just nodded because you could feel the lump in your throat grown every minute. You didn’t want to cry, but someone took time planning this, and that someone was Bucky. You followed him to the blanket, where you both sat down, facing each other.

“It’s nothing special, but I made us a salad with mozzarella cheese, because I think you said it was one of your favourites? If not, you can put aside, or we can-“

“It’s perfect, mozzarella is perfect, Bucky, thank you.” He couldn’t see you too well, given the hour of the day, but he would swore on his mother’s life that you were blushing at the moment. “I also got a few beers, and because it’s a movie night, I got a bunch of popcorn, I don’t know how good it’s gonna be, cause I made it like a half hour ago, but, yeah. And I made a choice for us this evening, me being the planner and all that, so I picked Triple Frontier, that good with you?”

“That’s awesome, I wanted to see it for quite some time now.” Bucky smiled brightly, seeing that you were really surprised and seemed happy to be there, with him.

You ate you salads, and made a small talk, telling each other about your respective days, Bucky joking about kicking Clint’s ass and you telling him just how difficult Tony could be sometimes. You were both carefree and completely relaxed, no worries on your minds. A realisation hit you, in the very moment Bucky was telling you how him and Sam raced towards the vending machine, but because they gained too much speed, they weren’t able to stop, and both of them crashed into it.

You were watching him, telling you this story, and all your brain was doing, was shouting at you: YOU LIKE HIM, YOU IDIOT. TELL HIM, TELL HIM, TELL HIM. WE’VE DECIDED! Bucky could probably see your absent-minded gaze, so he stopped talking, put his hand on your knee and asked you if you were ok.

“Yeah, yeah I think I am. The story was really funny but my brain was taking a detour, I’m sorry.”

“Detour to where?” Bucky asked, and you could hear the anxiety and desperation laced in his voice. “I was thinking that nobody ever done anything like this, for me. People would always promise that they liked me, or that they wanted to be my friends, but I would find them gossiping about me, when they thought I wasn’t there. Nobody ever took the time to plan something like this, something so perfect.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I’m scared shitless that you’re gonna break my heart again, because I might not survive that. But, I know you weren’t completely at fault last time. And I was maybe too harsh on you, but I wanted to make sure that you were in this for me. As friend or something more, I didn’t care, really. Because when we’re together, we totally forget the outside world, and all I want to do is to listen to you talk, and laugh at the stupidities you and Sam do. And when something funny happens to me, all I want to do is tell you, and share it with you. I don’t want to push you away anymore, Bucky. I don’t know what we’re going to be, but can we start with being friends again, please? I really miss you.”

You didn’t even notice, but few stray tears escaped your eyes and were rolling down your face, only for Bucky to reach your cheeks and wipe them away.

“I want nothing more than share everything with you, Y/N. You weren’t harsh at me, not at all. I deserved all of that, and if you let me, I’ll show you just how important you really are to me, and how good of friend, or something more I can be for you. Yo just made me the happiest man on Earth!” He caressed your cheek, and you let yourself enjoy the moment. You felt safe and sated. You felt like you were home.

“Was there a funny thing that happened these past days that you didn’t tell me about, doll?” Bucky said, and withdrew his hand, knowing full well that if he continued, he would overstep a certain boundary.

“Did I tell you how Bruce almost turned Hulk on me?”

“BRUCE DID WHAT NOW?” Bucky yelled, and you could just laugh at him. Yup, this was certainly home.

/ Next Chapter >

After All:

@iheartsebastianstan @readermia @kolakube9 @ibookishqueen @thewintersoldierswifu @emogril @the-melancholyfeels @pinkleopardss @supervengerslock @the-soulofdevil @jessyballet @bxrnsfeyson @38leticia @sparkling-gayyyy @deansbbysblog @lustgardn @wantingtobekorra @backflip-into-a-garbage-can @thefifthmaraud3r @lassini

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@this-kitten-is-smitten @sebbbystaaan @paradisiacalsparks @crazybutconfidentaf @owlyannah

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If you’d like to be tagged comment/message/send an ask. If you like the story, please reblog :) any comments are appreciated, even the critical ones. Always a space to get better, so let me know what you guys think.

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its-jijii · 4 years

Text

bsd character traits

howdy. idk how to start this. okay recently have been analyzing characters and,, i realized that most characters in bsd have traits (mainly one) that are blown rlly out of proportion. no spoilers below the cut i just don’t want to spam dashboards with longass posts 😩

so. a lot of bsd characters can be incredibly simplified and easy to explain. most characters that i can think of have a certain personality trait or something that makes up a lot of their character? for instance, i can say some of these traits and you’d be able to point to a certain character. childish and arrogant. happy and optimistic. obsessive and stalkerish.

ranpo, kenji, and higuchi. it’s like that for most characters, though. most of these traits are normal, or their causes are normal (such as higuchi’s “obsessive” behavior likely being a result of some mix of anxiety and idolization). anxiety and idolizing is okay and normal and moderation, but those traits are combined and amplified, which makes up a large portion of higuchi’s characterization. being optimistic is pretty normal,,, but kenji’s character is centered around being incredibly happy.

now this isn’t to say that this is a flaw in character design, or that it makes characters flat or boring. rather, i think it’s a pretty neat and interesting writing on asagiri’s part. y'know that post that’s like “if you can recognize a character by their outline, you know that it’s a good character design” or something like that,, yeah i think it's kinda like that but in writing instead of drawing? if you can write down a list of traits and think of certain bsd characters, then you’ve got a lot of the character covered already.

that isn’t to say that these traits are all that a character is, but mainly how they’re characterized and viewed. of course there is more to these characters, but if you were trying to summarize something, it’s very easy to simplify things to those traits. i think of this kind of like taking a character at face value.

looking at a character’s dominant trait(s) and mainly associating that with them seems like taking their (entire) character at face value. and i don’t think that’s necessarily always a bad thing! but i think it’s also important to look past those fronting traits and see smaller parts of the character, or the reason characters are that way. looking past dazai’s intense suicidal character and secrecy, you find that he can be manipulative. looking past alcott’s intense anxiety, you’ll see that she is actually very intelligent and capable, but those traits are mainly covered up by her “face value” trait.

then, there’s the matter of how strange or abnormal these traits are. honestly at first, tanizaki or kenji didn’t stand out as “extreme” anything,,, that i think is bc asagiri does a good job at making some things subtle and weave perfectly into their character. some stuff, like akutagawa’s intense desire for approval and determination, can’t really be missed. tanizaki may seem like an all over kind of moderate character, but i think that it just happens to be that his “extremes” are more normalized or hidden.

for instance, tanizaki seems pretty anxious. mainly noticed this in his first appearance where he was pretending to be a bomber- bouncing his leg, apologizing thoroughly afterwards and making sure atsushi was okay, etc. seemed like he was having some anxieties over the matter. this stuff is pretty normal given the situation, and in smaller amounts is normal. the situation definitely made those actions seem more situational and less like a part of tanizaki’s character.

there’s also tanizaki’s hidden extreme, which is his obsession and protectiveness of his sister (which i also wrote about a bit). again, loving and being protective of someone, especially a sibling, is pretty normal. but with bsd, it seems like these normal traits are just,, blown out of proportion? suddenly they’re very intense, very extreme, and you tend to associate those traits with the character afterwards.

kenji’s “extreme” would be his optimism and happiness, which again doesn’t seem like an extreme, likely cause it isn’t bad. unlike negative traits like possessiveness or being gloomy, happiness when amplified doesn’t stand out that much. extreme possessiveness or antisocial behavior definitely stands out more. kenji’s happiness is simply a part of his character, and it seems like it's more like “him” than an attribute he has. he doesn’t have happiness, he is happy. really fuckin happy. kind of alarmingly happy?? i’m scared of him but that’s for another post.

anyway uhhh now that i’ve kinda talked about the traits and why they do or don’t stand out, i’m gonna just. do a list thing. with everyone’s traits. yes. i’m sorry this is gonna be rlly fucking long,, this is everyone’s “extremes” and maybe why. also this order is coming straight off the wiki sorry in advance 🥳 not including smaller side characters (office assistants, elise, and herman melville)

ada

atsushi - he’s kind of complicated but atsushi seems like a mix of extreme anxiety, desire to prove himself/do good, and babey. he’s absolute babey. most of this is due to past abuse in the orphanage. some of his smaller traits include fear of pain/death, bravery, and kindness. sometimes these traits contradict each other which is why i say he’s complicated. while afraid of pain and death, his desire to prove himself pushes him into brave and risky acts. while he is generally kind and he wants to do good for others, that sometimes means being brutally honest or pushy. (see: interactions w/ aku, especially in cannibalism arc)

dazai - extremely suicidal and fake (fake happiness/outgoingness). mainly, though, is his over the top suicidal ideation. he is incredibly suicidal, and if asked to point out the most suicidal character in bsd, there’s a very clear answer: the suicide maniac. dazai is also one of the incredible geniuses in the series, which surfaces quite often. some of his smaller traits that i said earlier would be that he’s manipulative, a liar, and insensitive. personally i think these are some of his most intense traits, but it also seems like he’s one of the characters taken at “face value”, with these other traits overlooked due to his excessive suicidal ideation/being eccentric. i could ramble more but i will save my dazai shit-talking for my other analysis. oh and i say that his faking expressions is different from lying. one is purposefully being deceitful for personal gain, where faking an emotion/reaction is simply to hide one’s true feelings.

kunikida - extremely strict and idealistic. heavily imposes his standards on not just himself, but everyone around him. can make him easily angered. some of his less evident traits are fear of failure and sadness over not being able to save people. his fear of failure can be hidden by his strict and confident nature. he also tends to act very neutral and unaffected when discussing past failures (usually people dying), which gives off an uncaring attitude. contrary to that, though, kunikida cares a lot! while it’s somewhat unclear as to why kunikida is so set on his morals, it may be his way of dealing with perfectionism issues and fear of doing things incorrectly. if all that is supposed to be done and all of his beliefs are written in his notebook, it is easier to stay to a strict schedule.

ranpo - childish and arrogant. i could leave it at that because that's 90% of him but i won’t. ranpo’s inflated ego was likely born from some kind of entitlement (im sorry that sounds mean let me make amends). with him being a great detective and the ADA being founded for him likely contributed to him having a great feeling of importance and intelligence. honestly that’s understandable though, he is a respectable genius. underneath those domineering traits are strong desires for praise, to fit in, and some motivation issues. ranpo really wants to believe that he is gifted, as he would feel like the odd one out if he didn’t have one. he will do anything for fukuzawa’s praise, which is probably linked to some childhood issues. lastly, his motivation- it’s connected to his tendency to find everything boring, and if something is boring, it isn’t worth his time.

yosano - sadistic and dominant. this sounds like weird bedroom shit but i swear it isn’t. mainly, the sadism comes to light when she’s using her ability or when she’s fighting- both which include her using weapons on other people. her domineering personality is also not always evident, as she is able to talk with a calm front if the situation needs it, mainly in civilized ADA meetings. otherwise, yosano will get intense and competitive, with an underlying desire to win. to some degree i think this aggression comes from wanting to stay in her position in life- she worked to get there, and she won’t back down from anything that may challenge or disrupt that.

kenji - overly happy and trustworthy. this is pretty clear from looking at him, but again doesn’t stand out that much,, it’s an extreme, but it’s an extreme feeling rather than mindset/goal. his happiness also doesn’t hurt anyone, so it’s less noticeable when he’s working with others- it often won’t affect them, aside from perhaps encouraging them or cheering them up. kenji is also, as we have seen, too trusting. he believes that trusting others is a good thing that will always lead to a good outcome. since this is an extreme belief rather than a feeling, it’s projected on his surroundings a bit more. i can’t explain any of his underlying traits or causes as we don’t know a ton about him :<

fukuzawa - kinda tough to say, but i guess extremely calm and protective? i wanted to say emotionless but he definitely has emotions, he just conceals them very well. rather, he tends to stay calm in almost every situation, no matter how bad it looks. he is also very protective of the detective agency and yokohama as a whole. underneath the mask, fukuzawa is caring- he literally never shows it, but i’ve never seen him scold someone, get mad, or punish someone (except post-cannibalism, but that wasn’t bad). he often looks angry but isn’t really, nor is he super strict. his past is still a bit too unknown for me to guess at why he’s like this.

tanizaki - extremely..... protective......... i just wrote about this ik but yeah uh. tanizaki is protective to the point it’s scary and he’s a danger to others. aside from that, tanizaki often seems very anxious, though he’s usually quite subtle about it. like i said earlier, it usually blends into the situation- if he’s in danger, of course he’s anxious. but, it seems that even when the danger has passed, he has lingering worries about whatever just occurred (getting scared at the mention of yosano’s treatment, desperately trying to find a way around punishment for disobeying fukuzawa). i feel like there’s more but my mind is blanking sorry y’all 😰

kyouka - emotionless? again she definitely has emotions, but similar to fukuzawa, rarely ever shows them. mainly what i mean by this is that she has a very underwhelming reaction to everything. if in danger, she won’t hesitate to do whatever, even if it’s violent, all without an expression. when bad stuff happens, she also doesn’t react much, unless atsushi is in danger or smth. one underlying extreme fear she has is being “evil” i guess? or just fearing the mafia. she absolutely doesn’t want to go back to the mafia, would rather die than kill again, and often has openly fearful reactions when faced with mafia members. her lack of fear and blank expression is probably a result of being desensitized to violence and also bad trauma from the mafia B(

katai - tired and isolated. seeing as how katai literally works from his futon, it’s safe to say that he enjoys sleeping and to some degree is lazy. he doesn’t really do anything, which also is a part of his isolation. i wouldn’t say antisocial behaviors since he isn’t aggressive, but basically he avoids social interactions like the plague. he never leaves his house, is horrible at talking to people, and is completely fine being cooped up in a small space for a week with no human contact. i’m sure people enjoy their alone time and sitting in bed.... but uhhhh....... yeah literally living in bed for a week with the only human contact being having take out dropped off? kinda extreme. his less evident trait goes hand in hand with social isolation- anxiety, or more specifically, social anxiety. what we mainly see of katai is during the small pre-cannibalism arc, which also shows his social anxiety. had the chapter not included going outside and interacting with girls, it would likely be unnoticeable. he is comfortable at home and doesn’t have that much of an issue with facing people and talking to them. however, he was very awkward in his interactions with higuchi (talking to her and pointing another way), as well as not knowing how to confess his love for gin.

akutagawa - i’m so sorry in advance, akutagawa’s is rlly long bc he is kinda just. extreme. so uh, desire to get praise/prove himself, and few but extreme emotions. akutagawa’s most defining trait is his obsession with being acknowledged by dazai. unfortunately, it doesn’t end there- his very character extreme, a constant black and white fluctuation with no gray in between. there isn’t much of a spectrum with him, as it will be all or nothing. this applies to his view of others, view on the world, himself, his emotions, and actions.

his emotions have been stated to be none at all, or intense anger/hatred and deep respect. his view of others seems to also be on opposite ends of the spectrum. either he likes them & respects them deeply, or he despises them. i can’t think of anyone who is in a neutral zone with him,, maybe he’s indifferent about some people, but i believe the majority of people fall into those two categories. then there are his actions, which are overly brutal even in the mafia. he uses excessive force and slaughter, aiming for flashy crimes to get dazai’s attention.

his view on the world doesn’t fluctuate as much, instead seeming to be fixated in one view- the world is cruel and harsh, and there are weak people and strong people. to him, the natural order of things is that the weak must die to make way for the strong. he also applies himself to a similar belief- either he is stronger, better, and more capable than everyone else, or he is weak, a failure, and would rather die than face defeat. extreme!

mori - lack of impulse control and being an organized mess. by organized mess i mean that he thinks a lot, is smart, and leads the mafia,, buut he also seems not the best at some tasks (darts. professionalism. being a doctor?? didn’t he lose his medical license?) mori’s bad impulse control can be tied into his disarray kinda. this is hard to word but it’s kind of like when he’s presented with an issue, he immediately and casually defaults onto an extreme solution (three way war? okay let’s kill the president of the ada!) while i’m sure these things have been thought out beforehand, it’s his sheer wack presentation of things that make him look immature, irresponsible, and kinda bad at his job.

chuuya - loyalty and irritability/aggression. while i do not believe we have seen the extent of his loyalty, it is worth noting that even after four years he trusts dazai with his life, despite dazai being a dishonest and irresponsible bastard. not trustworthy imo, but chuuya’s lingering feelings of loyalty do hold out. though not full trust and likely expecting something to go wrong, he still ends up trusting dazai. otherwise, chuuya is shown to be very loyal to the mafia, going measures to make sure dazai wouldn’t frame him to get kicked out. then there’s his irritability and aggression,, he’s shown to easily get angry and start fights with little provocation. some underlying(?) traits are his confidence (and sometimes arrogance), and his uhh,, diplomatic abilities?? idk what to call it, but if needed, he will calm down and focus to talk things out and make deals. most of these traits i believe can be linked to his old gang and possibly how they treated him due to his status as a powerful ability user. some of these also don’t seem extreme- he’s not extremely diplomatic, after all. buut these traits strongly contrast each other to make the switch more evident and dramatic.

higuchi - obsessive and stalkerish behaviors. personally i believe that this behaviors are rooted in a mixture of anxiety, loyalty, and idolization. i don’t know that higuchi has explained her infatuation with akutagawa, but it’s likely that she just admires him a lot. she also is shown to have a crush on him, which leads to the ideas that she’s obsessive and stalkerish. while i don’t deny those behaviors, i think that they’re mainly loyalty and anxiety dependent on idolization- except blown out of proportion and so extreme that she seems like a stalker. as she is loyal and deeply respects akutagawa, she also cares for him and his well-being considerably, as shown by the many times she interjects when his health is at risk. she is very, very anxious about his health, which likely is the cause for some of her obsessive behaviors (following him everywhere, trying to assist him constantly even when he says no, risking her life for him, etc). however, some isn’t all, so some of her stalkerish behaviors are genuinely rooted in a crush. but again it seems like this crush is just rlly fuckin extreme which is why she’s so persistent and radical in her attempts to help him/win him over.

kajii - curiosity. idk that this one needs a lot of explaining? his main focuses of curiosity are of god and science, but alone i don’t believe those things are extreme obsessions- he isn’t shown to praise god religiously (haha) like a certain someone, and obsession with science is already a kind of fixation on learning and curiosity, even outside of bsd. the entire concept of science is the study of the unknown. curiosity is a necessity if you are to be interested in science; its basis is observing, creating hypotheses, designing experiments, and then testing said hypotheses several times before compiling results and data into a conclusion. kajii’s fascination with experimenting is rooted in his desire to observe what happens, gather results, and learn from the experience. he is inherently curious about many things, but yes, most notably science and god. as for why..... no clue tbh.

kouyou - it’s kind of a control thing, whether it be with controlling/leading people, or being in control of tasks/responsibilities. there’s also a protective nature displayed, most notably of kyouka. in that sense, kouyou demands an amount of control over people and situations to execute action. her appearance also gives the impression that she is very specific and selective with her attire and how she presents herself- choices she has made, not mandated by anyone else. kouyou holds the position of one of the mafia’s five executives, and there’s nothing really to suggest that she is a bad leader or that she abuses her power.

while sometimes misguided and blinded by her own experiences, kouyou’s intentions are often to protect, help, and teach, which are not bad at all. her execution of these could be worked on, but at heart she is trying to do good. currently this intense protective nature is fixed on kyouka, though it is alluded that there may have been a somewhat similar relationship with chuuya. as for why she is this way, she has already explained it with her past relationship in which her lover was killed while trying to escape with her. she doesn’t want that to happen again to those she loves.

q - he’s a mix of stuff, but mainly intense switches in mood/mindset and chaos. there’s also an underlying desire to be loved and to be not used, or “cursed”. q holds the belief that his ability is a curse that he never asked for (understandably), and has expressed that he wishes that he wasn’t forced to use his ability. paired with this wish to not be used is his wish for love- while never explicitly stated by him, he reacted very badly to being told that god is real but doesn’t love him. however, he probably wishes for more than just god’s love. q’s intense loneliness and wishing for someone to care for him can likely be attributed to the fact that he is only 14, has no friends, and seemingly spends all of his time locked up somewhere in the port mafia dungeons because he’s too dangerous.

on the more evident side, q has extreme mood switches; he can bounce back and forth in between not wanting to hurt anyone or use his ability and then hating everyone and cursing everyone. his expression of these emotions are usually extreme, too- crying, sobbing, and begging can morph quickly into screaming, howling, and cursing others. these mood swings and hatred for others can also be attributed to his status in the mafia. it’s only natural for him to hate people when he only sees himself being used. his ability also is on the extreme side. both in what it is (mind control) and how it’s triggered (someone hurting him) speaks lengths of exactly how extreme his ability is. another smaller extreme that just occurred to me is his pain tolerance. he can be seen joyously causing intense injuries to himself which indicates that smaller and self-inflicted injuries are completely manageable for him.

oda - oda is weirdly like the opposite of what this post is about. there’s nothing really extreme about oda, unless you want to say he’s extremely bland? (i’m sorry hear me out) the entire thing with oda is his lack of emotions or opinions, and while i’m certain he has them, he very rarely expresses them. fun fact but he literally never smiled the entire dark era?? even with the kids 😭 okay but other than his extreme... lack of expressing feelings and opinions.. i think he’s very protective/concerned for others. he of course cares extremely about the orphans in his care, and he also cares for ango and dazai. i think that it can be said that oda’s main extreme is his fucking uh,, adopting orphan children. cause if i’m not mistaken he adopts like 15 kids in beast. he’s a serial orphan adopter. as for why, i don’t rlly know. i can guess that his stoic nature is some mix of trust issues and desensitized reactions to death/killing. under all that he’s strongly dedicated to his goals and future (caring for the kids and writing his novel).

hirotsu - honestly. not sure. he’s actually not that extreme. but, to me, his “face value” traits would be that he’s uptight and overly dedicated to tasks, though not to the extent that kunikida is. he was shown to harp on tachihara for being a few minutes late, killed an entire warehouse of people for stealing from the mafia, and tended to take successfully playing dazai’s video game a bit too serious, as he very formally apologized to dazai for his failure. he also seems to be dedicated to the task of supporting yokohama as best as he can, as he stays loyal and productive in the mafia even at his age. i would say that he’s loyal for staying that long (and he is), but he’s not extremely loyal, as he is shown doing random favors for dazai. however, these favors are usually to help support yokohama, so i guess he’s extremely..... uh supportive and trusting?? idk man hirotsu is just not that intense. intensely mysterious and cryptic maybe.

gin - though not exactly a character trait, gin is selectively mute. selective mutism, though normally a childhood anxiety disorder, can persist in late teens and adulthood. most likely, gin is mute by choice- and selective mutism is on the more severe end of the anxiety spectrum. while normal anxiety could cause someone to be shy, anxiety around others that’s so intense that the person can’t speak? yeah. there are, of course, other causes, but based on her interactions with others, it can be inferred that she chooses to stay silent out of fear or anxiety. she is capable of talking in select situations, and she can talk normally to some people. otherwise, she stays silent mostly, which makes her most outstanding trait her muteness. otherwise we haven’t seen enough to say if she has any other extremes. i also don’t have a definitive reason for why she’s mute.

tachihara - tachihara is another character with not many extreme aspects. what stands out most to me is probably his punk and carefree attitude. while he does easily get angry and violent, he can be just as quick to dismiss it if the situation calls for it. he is shown to be a bit more relaxed than his fellow mafia members, and he seems more into having fun with his job than being proper about things. his appearance also gives off vibes of a punk kid with an attitude, probably a mixture of kinda-spiky light hair, loose shirt, and weird fluffy cropped jacket. his attitude and appearance screams laid back to me. plus he dual wields in a weirdly casual way? he doesn’t have two guns to make his shots count and take on more enemies, he has two guns because he’s trigger happy and doesn’t care how bad his aim is. with two guns you don’t need good aim, you’ll eventually hit your target 😎 not enough known about him to say why he’s like this.

ace - not a lot is known about him since he existed for like two chapters BUT. ace is shown to be very greedy and ambitious. he frequently lies and plots to backstab others. if he’s an “extreme” anything, he’s an extreme snake, liar, and manipulative bastard. he also has extremely slimy vibes but that’s probably just me associating all liars and manipulators into super slimy feels. as for why,, yeah no idea? he’s just extremely greedy and willing to step on whoever to get what he wants. that seems to be it though.

the guild

fitzgerald - extreme greed and determination. fitzgerald, while already wealthy, seems to seek more wealth at all times. even if it looks like he is bargaining, offering a large amount of money for something, or even randomly gifting people, he has an ulterior motive. fitzgerald is a businessman and would not strike deals unless they were ultimately profitable for him in the long run. his greed can sometimes be subtle or played off as something “good”, such as when he confronted that one businessman. the businessman admitted to the crime, attempted to pay off fitzgerald into silence, but was backstabbed in the end as fitzgerald provided evidence against him to the court despite the money given.

another one of fitzgerald’s biggest traits is his persistent and determined nature. he is shown to not give up on his goals, no matter what the cost is. he wants to revive his daughter and help his wife? then he has no issues invading a foreign country, waging a gifted war against their gifted organizations, and willingly cursed ⅕ of yokohama with q’s ability, despite the fact that they were all innocent bystanders. as he stated, he was willing to raze yokohama to the ground to get the book. when defeated, it took a bit to convince him to try again, but once he decided to go for success again, it was almost simple for him to regain his status and wealth.

as for why he is so greedy, that isn’t really touched on or explained. his determination and independence can be chalked up to his “rules of success” or whatever. some of his underlying extremities could be social incompetence/ignorance, which honestly kind of makes up a lot of his character? beneath the absolute rich boy is an absolute ignorant rich boy. he seemed to struggle to understand why nathaniel felt responsible for mitchell. he also talks to alcott very flippantly despite her nervous reactions to him (and frequently ignores her warning to not follow dangerous plans). he doesn’t know what it’s like being poor, seen when he just walked into another person’s room in a hotel, thinking that he also owned that room.

montgomery - extremely playful and eager. the eagerness and playfulness kind of go hand in hand, as she is very excitable and loves to use her ability to mess with people and play games. this is evident in how over the top her speech is and how emphasized her actions are (the creepy big smile, her gesturing & clapping, etc.) her eagerness is mainly focused on winning and catching people in her game. these actions tend to blend into her character more than an intensified trait. an underlying strong desire is her desperation to fit in and have a place to belong, which is tied into her over-eagerness to win and do well. this is a result of her upbringing in an orphanage where she was unwanted. having no place to call home, she has fixated on creating a place where she can stay and fit in with others; particularly with other ability users, as she was outcast for having an ability when no one else did.

steinbeck - though not as extreme as some other traits, steinbeck is above average in attributes like determination and a lack of empathy for strangers. his determination, for lack of a better word, will be used more as an umbrella term for his loyalty, thoroughness, and efficiency in his work. when needed, he will finish tasks assigned quickly and without skipping details. he is good at sticking to plans or an order and does his job well. despite disagreeing with fitzgerald’s ambitions and methods, he stays with the guild and even plans to lead it after its fall. his motivations are also rooted in his love and loyalty to his family. however, his intense thoroughness and determination also seems to lead to decreased empathy for others. he willingly went with the emergency plan, despite his ability causing q to curse ⅕ of innocent civilians in yokohama. he was also ready to sacrifice haruno and naomi for the purpose of fulfilling his mission. an underlying (and not as intense) trait is how laid back and casual he is. despite his jobs being cruel and sacrificing others, he does it easily and with a smile.

lovecraft - very very tired. being tired sometimes is normal if you didn’t sleep well, but lovecraft is constantly exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep. basically every scene with him includes him talking about how tired he is, or how much he wants to sleep. there were also instances of him briefly falling asleep in inappropriate scenes, such as when kunikida shot him and during the fight with dazai and chuuya. after the guild fell and his contract with fitzgerald expired, he immediately jumped into the ocean to sleep. aside from being incredibly tired, lovecraft has a few other feelings (though not as severe): being hungry and feeling anxious. hunger isn’t mentioned as much as being tired, nor is his anxiety; however, lovecraft has expressed that he feels anxious around people, as he never really interacts with them or goes out in public. before he was in japan with steinbeck, he apparently hadn’t been outside in four years. another extreme shut in! a bonus thing that we don’t know much about, but lovecraft seems to be bound to contracts he makes; even if he wants to do something else, he must “fulfill [his] contract”. assuming that he has no choice but to do what the contract requires, once he signs a contract, that’s a very powerful thing going on.

hawthorne - well uh. incredibly religious, and extremely dedicated/loyal. the religious part is arguably the biggest part of his character; he is a pastor, dresses like one, carries around a bible, and uses his rosary to activate his ability (which takes the form of verses from the bible). his purpose in life, and in the guild, is to pass on judgement to sinners and punish them. it is his strongest motivator, and he mainly spends his time speaking to god, reading the bible, and deciding how to use his ability to follow god’s will. all religion related- he’s incredibly dedicated. he is also loyal to margaret mitchell, to the point that it diverted him from god. his desire to save her and help restore her honor was also a big thing for him; eventually, this goal overtook following religion, which is a considerable achievement. i say that it overtook religion because he began working with fyodor in order to help mitchell- that was a mistake, as he currently is brainwashed into following fyodor’s orders without ever thinking on his own. he is no longer using his ability to follow his life’s work and to follow god. more underlying traits of his include arrogance and a lack of expressions. basically, doesn’t express much, though his tone tends to be arrogant a lot of the time.

mitchell - with much unknown about her and little screen time, it’s a bit difficult to peg any extremes she has; however, she does possess a lot of arrogance that affects several aspects of her life. first and foremost, this arrogance tends to interfere with her relationships. mitchell is quick to start fights over petty things, automatically placing herself above others and asserting it quite forcefully. secondly, her arrogance disrupts how she acts and perceives others. as stated before, she believes herself to be above everyone else. however, beyond simply stating that, mitchell complains about having to do work when she believes that she is above that, too. she thinks that everyone else should be doing the work, and was shown to get angry at hawthorne when he wasn’t giving orders on the ship. another instance of this arrogance is her severely underestimating enemies, and becoming in critical danger as a result. a less noticeable trait is her honor, sort of? though it seems similar to her arrogance and inflated ego, mitchell is obsessed with restoring honor to her family, to the point that she would risk her life for it.

poe - hoo boy. poe has a few extremes: severe social anxiety/isolation, competitiveness, and a self esteem issue (sort of). poe faced ranpo in a battle of wits some time in the past, and when defeated, apparently fell into a deep depression. normally, someone would accept their failure and move on, but poe instead gained a lot of self-doubt and negative emotions. to recover from that fall, he became obsessed with facing off with ranpo again and winning. he is extremely dedicated and competitive, as he prepared to face ranpo again for six fuckin years. he is stated to be reclusive and shy, talking quietly and hiding his face with his hair. his profile says he dislikes noisy crowds and “being invited to a party and ignored by the only person he knows”. in short, he is not one for socializing or being the center of attention.

some of his underlying traits are his mood swings or conflicting feelings about others. though they aren’t super severe, it is worth noting that it happens quite frequently- he was confident when facing ranpo, then switched to a very depressed and sullen mood when ranpo didn’t recognize him. he was happy when he believed he beat ranpo- again, quickly transformed to intense disappointment and feeling of defeat when he realized that he lost. his conflicting feelings of others is mainly evident in his weird relationship with ranpo. he appears excited and overjoyed to watch ranpo use super deduction, but when asked if he was a fan, replied that they were rivals. when he trapped chuuya and ranpo in the book, he laughed in delight at potentially trapping and winning against ranpo in this way. immediately after, he was struck with the possibility of ranpo actually dying in the book, to which he got quiet and a bit scared about.

twain - another character with a lot of arrogance? but also a lot of excited reactions and constantly looking to mess around and have fun. he is shown to be very laid back and casual about his job, not getting disappointed when faced with defeat; rather, he laughs in excitement about someone being talented enough to escape his sniping. most scenes with him include inappropriate bouts of jokes and requests to engage in silly activities. however, he dislikes being ignored or left behind, so he tends to go with the flow anyway. more regarding his arrogance; twain believes his ability and talent to be great. his last appearance includes him commenting on how he is going to go home and finish writing his autobiography. not much is known about him, so it’s unclear why he is significant enough to write a book about. plus, his likes list himself and praise as the first two. a less evident trait of his, referenced in his likes and dislikes, is what he likes to do. sniping, of course, seems to be his favorite- this is likely because he likes adventure (and probably dangerous tasks/jobs), and dislikes plain or boring work. he likely gets bored easily, similar to ranpo, and needs an engaging and interesting task to entertain him.

alcott - most obviously, alcott has severe anxiety, though mainly it’s related to the social aspects of her life. this timidness and fear of talking to others dominates most of her character, and when thinking of alcott, the first thought that comes to mind is “oh, that really anxious and shy tactician.” alcott, for an unknown reason, relies heavily on approval from others, mainly fitzgerald. she has low self esteem, which also contributes to her fear of talking to strangers; she will run and hide if other people confront her. she only seems to feel more comfortable with fitzgerald, her boss, and poe, her fellow shy writer friend. other than her anxiety, alcott is also incredibly intelligent. it’s overshadowed by her “face value” trait, but is still very prominent. her work as a tactician means that she plans, but even her plans are the epitome of intense. using her ability allows her to write packets of potential outcomes to situations she really has no way of predicting. she also writes what to do should certain problems arise, though her cautious nature appears again as she often strongly recommends that fitzgerald does nothing.

the rats/decay of angels

fyodor - fyodor is another kind of tough one, but i’d say that it’s a mix of intelligence and composed attitude. another character with a very limited range of emotions- iirc there was one time he looked surprised, occasionally looks annoyed or confused, sometimes smiles, but mostly has no expression at all. he has dulled reactions to external stimuli, similar to kyouka, and likely hides his reactions or feelings like fukuzawa. one thing that is known, however, is that he is one of the genius characters and that he is constantly plotting and thinking. while he may not react to things happening around them, i am sure he notices them, takes them into account, and sometimes incorporates them into his complex plans. his ability to predict things rivals alcott’s, to the point that he predicts what everyone will do, how to trick them, and how to exploit the mistakes they will make. unlike alcott, his ability does not allow him to maximize his genius and complex plotting; all of his thinking and planning is done in the moment or before his plans are set into action, which is still impressive on its own. as for why he is like this, completely unknown. he also has a god complex, different from kajii and hawthorne’s religious beliefs. not only is his entire motivation to “cleanse the world of sinners” (ability users), but he has called himself god before. his religious beliefs seem to go beyond simply believing in god or following god’s word; no, he is god, and his job is to kill all ability users.

goncharov - goncharov didn’t show up much, but from what we saw of him, his main extreme is his dedication and loyalty. specifically, goncharov is very dedicated to fyodor- he underwent surgery to have “[his] unhappiness removed”, which makes him appear constantly smiling and declaring how happy he became with fyodor’s help. he is almost obsessive in his loyalty to fyodor, calling him “master” and apparently having similar interests (likes classical music, implied to have tea with fyodor, etc.)

pushkin - again, didn’t show up much, but from what little we saw, he is very ambitious. he found joy in the way his ability was used in the cannibalism arc, stating later on that it was a genius technique and he would find it fun to do it again but with prominent world leaders. ambition is one thing and desiring to cause chaos similar to the cannibalism arc but with world leaders… yeah he must get really bored.

mushitarou - though not quite a character trait, mushitarou is extremely… clean? particular? just by looking at him, you get the impression that he is self absorbed, probably grooms himself a lot (look at his HAIR), and that he is confident. he is also shown to be very demanding, which is where his “particular” thing comes in. he requires everything to be done a certain way, with very specific and high standards. with his ability, he also believes himself to be unbeatable, though this cockiness may have led to him being caught by ranpo. fr if he’s sitting there yelling how he’s gonna get away with it, does he expect to still get away with it?? anyway. i don’t really know why he’s like this or other underlying traits, as our info on him is still pretty limited. i guess he cares about his friend a FUCK TON.

gogol - oh boy. gogol really likes freedom and being a clown. now, being a clown seems like a weird kind of extreme we’re talkin about… but i think that this trait is mainly just emphasized with how outgoing and excitable he is. he dresses like a clown, loves playing weird tricks and games, and frequently gives people “quizzes”. his body language also characterizes him as moving around excessively. overall just a mega clown. then there’s his love of freedom. his recently released character profile states that he dislikes “brainwashing, subordination, being unfree”. all his dislikes are tied into each other and definitely tied into his odd obsession with being free- hell, he even died saying, “this is a prison break! over the innate brainwashing known as morality, i choose the freedom of my soul!” basically, a reality where he must follow what others want is too confining and he would rather die to free his soul than continue living that way. pretty extreme!

sigma - uh my boy has only existed for like 7 chapters but. we’ll go with he’s extremely secretive and also babey. so, with the secrecy, it’s more like he has very bad amnesia and most information is unknown about him. real name, backstory, age, birthday, weight, height, ability name- none of that is clear, so he is either keeping it secret or doesn’t remember (possibly a combination of both.) from what we have seen of sigma, though, he is very kind and considerate of his customers and other people. he is formal and protective of not only his casino, but those staying at his casino. he has spent a lot of time memorizing everyone’s names and info about them for the sake of maximizing their safety and enjoyment. for being a member of a terrorist organization, sigma is a sweetheart. his kindness and innocence are more traits that blend into his character more, so it isn’t as evidently an “extreme”- but i do want to say that he has extreme memory issues and for being in a terrorist organization, he is incredibly sweet, which seems somewhat out of place.

others

ango - ango is very, very hardworking. another dedicated madlad. in dead apple, ango was shown to have willingly pulled several all nighters writing reports on the incident. when we were first introduced to him in the mafia, he was shown to be going above and beyond with his job; rather than writing a list of the people who died, ango wrote out a biography for each person, basically. he was uptight and against slacking in his job, attempting to refuse dazai and oda’s offer to go drinking, and very against being hugged by them when they stank of death. a bit of a clean freak with how uptight and orderly he was. he held a high ranking position in the mafia as an informant, where he handled much of their sensitive information and deals. his job also required him to work as a triple agent- initially in the special abilities department, then sent to infiltrate the mafia, and then in the mafia was sent to infiltrate mimic to work as a double agent. overall, his job(s) required a lot of him and he gladly overworked himself in all of them.

gide - he’s kinda weirdly obsessed with a specific goal? so less a personality trait or even mindset that is amplified, but a strange goal where he, as the leader of mimic, was determined to lead himself and his men into battle with worthy opponents who could kill them. their sheer determination to fight others with the goal of dying, basically a suicide mission, was what stood out. plus, gide was willing to go to horrifying extremes to provoke oda into fighting him. he believed oda to be the only one capable and worthy enough to kill him in battle, and once he realized oda refused to fight him, kidnapped and killed oda’s orphans, essentially angering oda into fighting and killing hm, also killing oda in the process. so still pretty extreme, but also extremely specific.

shibusawa - shibusawa’s extreme traits are boredom, intelligence, and collecting. intelligence is actually kind of dubious, as we don’t know to what extent his intellect is, but it is implied that he at least believes himself to be a genius and in some way or another, superior to everyone around him. he thinks of everyone else as boring, life as boring, and as such is constantly searching to cure his boredom. this boredom is probably his strongest motivator for most things, such as conducting the dragon’s head conflict. this boredom also might be an influence on his collector tendencies, as i believe they work in tandem in his ability use. bored of everything, he finds it interesting to collect things- his ability allows him to separate ability from ability user, so of course he finds it entertaining to watch people duel their abilities, his reward being another ability gem in his large collection. his collection is massive, and seeing as how all of his gems are from getting ability users to kill themselves with their abilities,,, yikes shibu that’s really intense and hardcore 😰

and with that, i think that’s about the end of this post (thank god). i decided against including the hunting dogs in this, as there is not enough known about them to determine what their extremes are and why. also its 5 am and im kinda lazy :( i wanna say that this post is also kind of like a spectrum. almost every character has a trait/goal/mindset/habit that’s intense and kind of characterizes a lot of the character; but, some characters are less extreme than others, particularly characters that don’t convey a lot of expressions. and like i tried to explain earlier, some traits don’t stand out that much and seem more like they’re a part of the character. not every “extreme” written here is the level of extreme that akutagawa’s obsession is, for instance.

a last note to end on is that i wanna talk about intelligence in bsd. it seems like a pretty all-or-nothing situation for the most part; either a character is of average intelligence or they’re a fucking genius. now, most “average” characters are still witty, innovative, and capable of basic detective skills, but there is still a large difference in say, kenji and fyodor. both are pretty dangerous and extreme in their own aspects, but in terms of intelligence, fyodor has kenji far outmatched. i’m gonna rank the different geniuses of bsd and their intelligence type. this is entirely personal opinion btw

ranpo- on top of having amazing intuition and deduction, ranpo is excellent at analyzing small details in a short amount of time. his sheer speed at completely solving impossible cases, even with little evidence, is what makes him so remarkable. he also is pretty good at being a tactician, though his strength mainly lies in solving mysteries.

a tie between dazai and fyodor. maybe fyodor a bit smarter tho. both are incredible tacticians, and their strengths lie in analyzing what their enemies are plotting. they are good at reading people and figuring out how to best use them, and lying/faking their way to get what they want. dazai is also a pretty good detective.

i am sad to place alcott at third bc tbh she might be a two or tied with ranpo. alcott is fucking brilliant as a tactician and her ability allows her to create complex and detailed plans, correctly able to plot out every possibility her enemies may take. she hasn’t been shown to have any particular skills in reading people or crime solving, which is why she is placed third.

the debatables: don’t actually know the extent of their genius, but they’re apparently pretty smart and capable. mori, shibusawa, and ango?? i feel like im bsing my way now im sorry LMAO

honorable mention: katai

alright that is all im out. thank u for reading this hell i didn’t mean for this to be 8,000 words but its fine. probably. originally was gonna do shorter explanations for everyone and then reblog with more in depth but fuck it, its all here.

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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

Text

🏐 Kindness; Ryuunosuke Tanaka (Sportember #029)

📑 Table of Contents | ⚾ Challenge Post

Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life, School

Word Count: 1,244

Pairing: Reader x Tanaka

World: Haikyuu!!

Prompt: Kind

Sport: Volleyball

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“I don’t know about this Kags. You know I’m not really a people person,” you frowned at him, sipping on the strawberry milk he had forced into your hands.

“It’ll be fine,” he rolled his eyes. “You’re just coming to watch practice, don’t overthink it.”

“You’re lucky I love you so much.”

“Mhm.”

“Gee, don’t say it back or anything.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“You’re such a jerk,” you smacked him in the shoulder as you followed him toward the gym. He didn’t respond to the comment as he took the stairs to the second floor of the locker rooms so he could get changed. You made yourself comfortable outside, scrolling through your MeBook page.

The door creaked open, followed by multiple male voices and the sound of footsteps on the wood, but you paid it no mind, knowing that Kags couldn’t have changed that quickly.

“You guys really need to study for the upcoming exams,” Suga sighed at the two boys in front of him.

“It’ll be fine!” Tanaka grinned. “How hard could it… be…”

Suga and Noya stopped, following the boy’s line of sight when he suddenly froze. The second-year had noticed you waiting and his heart started to race at the sight of the beautiful human being before him. Before Suga could utter a word, both second-years were in your face.

“Hey, cutie. What are you doing here?” Noya wiggled his eyebrows as he stood on your left.

“Did you come to watch our awesome spikes?” Tanaka grinned, taking up your right side.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“What class are you in?”

“You’re so cute, please go out with me!”

“No way, go out with me instead!”

“Guys,” Suga scolded, karate-chopping both boys on the back of the head. “Will you knock it off? I’m really sorry about them.”

“Um, it’s okay,” you smiled nervously, a bead of sweat rolling down your cheek as you looked between the three boys. Kags had warned you about these two and their never-ending struggle to find someone that would return their affections but seeing it up close was a whole other story.

“Are you looking for someone?” Suga questioned with a polite smile.

“Ah, no. I’m waiting on Kags, er, Kageyama. He told me to wait here.”

“What? No way!” Noya cried in disbelief.

Tanaka mirrored his crestfallen look. “You’re dating Kageyama?”

“Ew,” your nose wrinkled. “He’s my best friend.”

The two exchanged a look before high-fiving each other. “We still have a chance!”

Kageyama headed down the stairs, raising a brow at his senpai that were dancing around in circles, chanting the same line over and over. His eyes met yours and you shrugged before following him toward the gym.

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One of the things that Tanaka wanted most was to find a cute partner that loved him and adored him as much as he did them. While it’s true that he went after every single female that he found cute, he always got rejected by them. They thought he was too pushy, too loud, and just plain annoying. Every one of them rejected his advances.

And then there was you.

He had been hitting on you since day one, nearly three months ago, and yet you had never actually rejected him. You didn’t seem annoyed by his attempts to woo you, either, you were just unsure of how to handle it. You weren’t used to being hit on, especially by someone as handsome as Tanaka.

Yes, you had also found him attractive on that first day that you met, but that was as far as it went. The more time you spent around him, though, the more you started to develop feelings. He was so much more than just a loud, girl-obsessed senpai. He was kind and caring, strong and loyal. His skills on the court were impressive and he always knew how to lighten the mood and inspire his underclassman.

Even if he was just trying to get into your good graces, he always treated you kindly, offering his ear if you ever needed someone to talk to. He even threatened a couple of girls that were teasing you during lunch, scaring them away even though he thought they were cute, too.

Tanaka didn’t understand why you didn’t flat out reject him. At first, he thought he might have a chance with you but after a while, he started to wonder if you were just being nice. Did you not want to reject him at the risk of hurting his feelings? That only made him want you more. The more time he spent with you, the more he started to genuinely fall for you.

His problem was that he didn’t know how to go forward. How could he show you that it wasn’t just his usual flirty antics and that he wants to be in a relationship with you? More importantly, how would you react? That worried him the most. Even so, he was determined to at least try.

Tanaka decided to leave it in fate’s hands. If they won the match against Date Tech, he would confess his feelings to you then and there, in front of the entire gymnasium. If they lost, however, he would keep his feelings to himself until another day. He fought harder than he ever had in that match and it paid off.

As the rest of the team cheered over their win, Tanaka turned his dark eyes to the stands where you were standing, cheering the team on as if it were your religion to do so. When your eyes met his, you were stunned by the determination in his eyes, the serious look etched into his face. You had rarely ever seen him so serious.

“Y/N!” he called out your name and the rest of the gym disappeared. The only sound you heard was his voice, everything else muffled and blurred around you.

You leaned forward on the railing, feeling your heart racing within your chest but you weren’t sure why. “Yes, Tanaka-senpai?”

Blood pumped in his ears and he swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “I need to tell you something important, so listen closely.”

“Okay,” you nodded, hands clutching the metal railing tight enough to discolor your knuckles.

He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you!! Will you please be my partner?”

Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting the words that reached your ears. It felt like your heart had gained wings, fluttering around against your rib cage. “A-Are you serious?”

“Yes,” his eyes shimmered with sincerity and you knew this wasn’t a joke.

“I… I’d love to date you, Tanaka-senpai!” you responded cheerfully despite the warmth flooding your face.

Tanaka’s face lit up, shining brighter than the sun itself as he held his arms outward. “Jump into my arms, Y/N! I’ll catch you, baby!”

“No!!” Several voices chorused, breaking you both from the spell you had been under and you became aware of the entire gymnasium staring at the two of you. If your face wasn’t bright red before, it certainly was now.

Kageyama sent you a stern look. “Don’t you dare jump, Y/N! You’ll die.”

Tanaka scowled, putting his hands on his hips. “Are you saying I couldn’t catch them?”

“Yes!”

“Why you little -”

You laughed as he took off after Kageyama, trying to bring the boy into a headlock.

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tnystrk-exe · 4 years

Text

Learning to Live 4

Tony Stark X Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

He walked out of the hospital, hand in hand with you, the security he ordered had just pulled up the car. There was a sea of pushy people and flashing lights. Everyone asking something, wanting answers from him. What was he gonna do? The ball was in his court. Was he too much of a coward? Did Iron Man have what it took?

Tony opened the passenger door for you and shut it. Just keep quiet. Move on. Think things through and work with all the information later. It’s all he had to do, but he was never good at that was he?

“Hey, Mr. Stark! When is somebody gonna kill this guy? Just sayin',” That’s all it took to set him off and light the fire.

“Is that what you want?” Tony asked, turning around, a phone immediately shoved into his face. “Here's a little Holiday greeting I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn't know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you. I know you're a coward, so I've decided that you just died, pal. I'm gonna come get the body. There's no politics here; it's just good old-fashioned revenge. There's no Pentagon; it's just you and me. And on the off-chance you're a man, here's my home address: 10880, Malibu Point, 90265. I'll leave the door unlocked.” Tony grabbed the phone and threw it into a polar, the pieces shattering onto the ground, “Bill me.” He got in the car and peeled off. It was done, he did it, he had to deal with it.

“Tony what did you do?”

“What I had to.”

You shook your head, “That was completely out of line!”

Tony drove as quick as he could, there wasn’t any time to waste. “What the hell was I supposed to do, YN?”

“Not giving out where your address to a terrorist, sounds like a pretty basic idea. Your daughter sleeps there, Tony, what the hell were you thinking?”

“She’s not home. It’s fine.”

“But do you think they would care if she was or wasn’t? You put her at risk. To what? Prove your ego?”

“They attacked us. They already have. So what if this is or isn’t a personal attack? Happy got hurt. My face is already out there. Who do you think could’ve been the next target? Should I have let them figure out where to attack next or just risk the idea that your hospital or one of the companies be bombed? Ro’s school, maybe? Risking me is better than risking any of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re thinking you’re gonna do, but you’re definitely not. We’re going to pick up the important things and then we’re leaving. You’re gonna fight this fight. What I say doesn’t matter, I know that, but at least get some type of back up.”

“I'm taking care of it now. They all know where the fight is if they want to get it on it.”

“God. It’s like you get off on stressing me out.” You leaned against the headrest, closing your eyes. “I think this is the closest I’ve ever been to hating you.”

“Oh, come on, I could do much worse than this,” he said, attempting to lighten up the atmosphere. He knew he fucked up in a bit of rage, but it was said and done. Nothing could stop what was coming now.

“Is there anything worse than risking Ro, Tony?” You asked, fixing your gaze on him. “I understood when I said yes to you that risk were involved. You’re Tony Stark. Iron Man. Risk came hardwired. But you put her there, now, willingly. You didn’t even think about it.”

“Goddamn it, YN.” His fist clenched around the wheel, the car sped up. “She’s safe as can be. She’s not going to be home. The two of you are going to stay somewhere hidden for while I sort this all out. Nothing’s going to touch her or you.”

The rest of the ride home was silent. Both of you split up the second you stepped inside the house. Tony went down to his lab. You went up stairs. You filled duffle bags with clothes and important papers. Tony and J.A.R.V.I.S. looked through the crime scene. The doorbell going off brought the two of you out of your train of thoughts.

You heard Tony talking to a woman downstairs as you brought the three bags to the balcony. Apparently from the woman’s side of the conversation an old fling.

“....I'd go for that sort of thing, but now I'm a one girl kinda man. You know, trying out the wife and kid life. Well she’s not technically. Yet. Look I got bigger fish to fry right now,” he told her, turning to walk to the living room. The duffle bags landing directly in front of him. “And that’s the future missus.”

“That future isn’t in the cards at all right now,” you answered from up stairs. “Who’s here?”

“You rock my world too, baby. Um, it’s Maya Hansen. Old botanist pal that I used to know, barely,” Tony stepped out of his suit, “Please don't tell me that there is a twelve year-old kid waiting in the car that I've never met.”

“He’s thirteen,” she replied, satisfied with his scared reaction. “And no, I need your help.”

“What...what for? Why now?”

“Because I read the papers, and, frankly, I don't think you'll last the week.”

“I'll be fine.”

“That’s what he always says,” you rolled your eyes. “With everything happening I didn’t know we were expecting company. Especially not an ex girlfriend. Really packing it in today, aren’t you Tones?” You shook Maya’s hand.

“She's not really.”

“No, not really. It...it was just one night.”

“Yep.”

“No. I know. Heard your usual jerk move of don’t remember you,” you smiled at Maya, “Well, you definitely made a good choice.”

“I did.”

“I wish I had decided on a one and done deal, but no. Took a look and thought ‘why not go on that ride as long as I can?’”

“My way does seem much easier,” Maya laughed.

Tony looked between the two of you, “Wait, what’s happening here?”

“I’m feeling intense pangs of jealousy over Maya’s life choices,” you sighed. “Grab the bags, we’re picking up Ro and leaving town.”

“We’ve been through this already. Nope.”

“We’re leaving immediately and going off the grid until you get this sorted out.”

“The man says no.”

“The man,” you scoffed, “Nice going Howard.”

“Don’t compare me to him.”

“Oh right, because he wouldn’t have put us in this position.”

“I got kidnapped three times!”

“Let’s be fair here that third time could have been avoided if you listened to Rhodey.”

Maya’s attention was torn away from your bickering and to the tv. Helicopters were making a beeline to the mansion, the two of you too absorbed in each other to notice.

“Guys can we um....”

Tony looked over at her, “What?”

She pointed at the tv, a bomb coming in quick. Before anyone could react, it crashed into the home. Tony motioned for the suit to protect you from the fall. The impact made his vision go blurry for a second. Glancing around he noticed Maya unconscious. A cracking sound made him look up, a piece of the roof caved in.

Tony braced himself. You made it, just in time to save him. “I hate you,” you panted.

“I’m sorry.” Tony scrambled up, “Like I said, we can’t stay here.” Another missile crashed through the house, flinging Tony over the couch. He rushed forward, but stopped short when the floor crashed down into the lab. “Keep moving. I’ll find a way around. Grab her and get out.”

The two of you shared a quick look that said enough before you nodded and went to work. “Maya, honey, come on we need to get you out of here.” You urged her up. The suit was too awkward to walk quickly. You managed to work a repulser enough to get the two of you clear from the mansion. A few scrapes and bruises but that was better than the alternative of still being in the crumbling building. “Tony! J tell him to call the suit!” Immediately the suit started to come apart, flying back into the home.

It all happened so quickly. All you could do was watch. Watch as a helicopter crashed into the home and more missiles showered down on it. The last of the ruins fell into the ocean and you couldn’t help but run to the edge, looking for any sign of Tony. The final helicopter disappeared in the distance.

Around you there was hardly anything that resembled the home. Ro’s piano she was obsessed with, the Christmas tree the three of you had put together not too long ago, and no comforting voice of J.A.R.V.I.S.. There was the wall Tony and Ro had taken to marking her height on since she could stand. You trailed your hand along the marks, you needed to get to your daughter.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Maya asked, pulling you out of your shock.

You let out a shaky breath, “I have to hope...” He wouldn’t leave this way. Tony always came back. Always did, no time to question it.

It wasn’t long before the reporters and emergency services came to the location. You refused to talk to the press and answered the cop’s questions as well as you could. Workers spent hours clearing out the wreckage. You had hoped to leave hours before but people kept holding you back.

All you wanted was your little girl.

“Hey, ma’am?” A crewman waved a bit to grab your attention. “You want this?” He held up the Iron Man helmet he had found in the pile of rubble.

You nodded, walking over to him, “Thank you.”

The man walked away, leaving you alone. You traced over the panels of the mask. Hating that the last thing you had told him was that you had hated him. It was just frustration with nothing behind it and you knew he had known. Still it had been wrong.

You kissed the helmet’s forehead, pulling away when you heard a faint beeping coming from the inside. Turning around you saw a red flashing light. The helmet opened for you and you pulled it on.

“Stark secure server. Retinal scan verified.”

“YN,” Tony’s voice started, “what I did was stupid and selfish. I put you and Ro in unbelievable danger, it won’t happen again. If you really do hate me I wouldn’t blame you. Hell, I put you through a lot. You know, I’ve hit a whole other low today too? I had to steal a pancho off a wooden Indian...what am I doing? I don’t have much time...Tell Ro, dad’s sorry. Please. I don’t think I’ll make it to Christmas in time...I’m sorry, YN, I love you. Get Ro and go somewhere safe. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

You took off the helmet and let out a sigh of relief. Your body finally relaxing for the first time in hours. He was okay. Who knows where he was, but he wasn’t hurt. That was better than the unknown minutes before.

Slipping away from the wreck and people you managed to get in Tony’s car undetected. You didn’t want to answer anymore questions or see anymore reporters. As you turned on the car, a knock on the window startled you.

“Hi,” Maya smiled at you pleasantly, “I know it’s probably not the best time, but my taxi ditched when everything went...well you were there. Can I get a ride back to my place?”

You contemplated just leaving, there were more than enough people that could help her around, but the woman had been through a lot already. “Yeah, sure. Hop in.” Your phone rang as Maya got in, “Just type in your address.”

“Hi mommy,” Ro greeted excitedly, “Picking me up tonight with daddy?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m gonna come get you. Daddy can’t come tonight.”

“Aw no! How come?” She asked, some disappointment in her voice.

“Um...the Avengers needed dad for a secret mission. Okay? He said he’s sorry he might not be back for Christmas.”

She sniffled, “It’s okay. Can you tell daddy I love him and we can wait for Christmas when he comes home.”

“Yeah, Ro. I will. I’ll see you later. Listen to Mrs. H and be good for a little while longer. I just need to do one thing and I’m heading straight for you.”

“Okay, mommy, be fast. I miss you! Love you! Bye!” Ro hung up before you could respond. She always saw the end of phone calls as a race of sorts to see who could press the button quicker.

“So...your daughter calls Tony dad?” Maya asked, attempting to make conversation.

“Yep,” you sighed, ready for the usual bout of questions.

“How come?”

“Does it really matter to anyone else but us? Especially now?”

“You’re right, sorry. Really personal considering everything.”

“The papers are full of it lately, it gets to be a lot. Having to hear he isn’t her father constantly.” You looked her over, she seemed nice enough. “It’s not just because we got in a relationship. Trust me, I’m not willing to let just anyone around her . Tony and I have always been close, not couple close but good friends. I had a kid. Tony was always around. She started talking and called him dad and it stuck,” you rambled, part of you happy to talk about it for once. It was rare you ever did.

“Tony doesn’t seem like the fatherly type. Then again, I only knew him for a night.”

“Lots of things about him that nobody could learn in a night. He wears fatherhood as well as any of his suits. Man’s an absolute natural.”

“Tony Stark has a soft side.”

“Why did you need to talk to Tony today of all days?” You asked the question that had been biting at you.

“I think that my boss is working for the Mandarin,” Maya cut to the chase, “So, if you still want to talk about it, I suggest that we get

ourselves to my place.”

You looked at her, “You think your boss works for the Mandarin? But didn’t Tony say you were a botanist?”

Maya rolled her eyes, angry to be reduced to something so little. “What I actually am is a biological DNA coder running a team of 40 out of a privately funded think tank. But sure, you can call me a botanist.”

“Who’s your boss?” You asked, fully intending on passing on the information to Rhodey the second you were clear.

“Aldrich Killian.”

Stopping in front of her place you weighed your options. You could go or you could try to get some more information. Tony and Rhodey were bad influences. “Let me walk you up.”

Maya led you up to her place and the two of you found yourselves on her couch. She started telling you about Wernher von Braun and his dreams before he lost his vision. “...See, we all begin wide-eyed. Pure science.

And then the ego steps in, the obsession.And you look up, you're a long way from shore,” she sighed, visibly disappointed in herself.

“You never know what’s happening in the dark, Maya. The research went to a think tank. No way you could have thought this would happen.”

“Yeah, but Killian built that think tank on military contracts.”

“That’s what Tony would do, Howard too,” you shrugged, “Don’t judge yourself. We all do what we have to do sometimes.”

Maya flashed you a grateful smile, “Thanks, YN, I really appreciate that.” Someone knocked on the door. “Yeah! Come in!”

The waiter opened the door and pushed his cart in through the door before a man walked up behind him. The snap of the waiter’s neck was the only sound that filled the room. Then the drop of dead weight.

“Run Maya!” You stopped in shock as something about the man looked familiar. “You were at the Christmas party?”

“I was,” the man smirked, “Enjoy that on the spot distraction? Had to research personal ties a bit more. You or Pepper. I guess I didn’t have to after all since, he went running to you after nearly dying. This one was intent on that route, but I didn’t see it panning out too messy. Now...well, why not use you since you’re already here?” Killian wrapped a hand around your throat before you could process what was happening. “Now, Maya, care to explain why you were at Stark’s mansion last night?”

“I'm trying to fix this thing,” she answered, her tone almost bored. “I didn't know you and the master were gonna blow the place up.”

“Oh, I see. So, you were trying to save Stark when he threatened us?”

“I've told you, Killian, we can use him.”

You gasped for breath, clawing at Killian’s arm. “Stop,” he demanded, his hand tightening even more.

“Look, if we want to launch product next year, I need Stark. He just lacked a decent incentive. Now, he has one. You may think it’s messy, but he’ll do it. They have a daughter together too. That much leverage gets us what we need. I can’t do this alone.”

“Killing her at this point wouldn’t be any useful. I guess we’ll use her as a little lab rat. Doubt she’ll be able to handle Extremis.” You passed out, the lack of air getting to you. “The brat can be a carrot to dangle in front of him. He can give us what we want, then she’ll be the final experiment.”

Maya snatched the phone out of your pocket, calling the last number received. “Hello...Yes, Ms. LN was injured. We’re sending out a team to pick up her daughter. So if you could please give us your address. Any concerns can be handled in person.”

Ro finished up icing a cookie. They were supposed to be for Santa, but she would eat them instead. Santa shouldn’t come if daddy wasn’t gonna be home for Christmas. “Mrs. H?” She called for Mrs. Herrera’s attention as the older woman hung up the phone, “Is my mommy coming to get me now?”

“No sweetheart. I think I’d like you to stay with me for a little while longer. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Ro pouted, “Yeah, but I miss my mommy and daddy. I love you too, but I really miss home.”

“I know you do, but mom got called into the hospital.”

“She’s saving people like daddy?” Mrs. H nodded, “Then I’m not so sad...can I go watch tv with Mr. H?”

“Go right ahead. I’ll join in after I clean up this mess.”

Ro ran into the living room, grabbing her well worn Tony Bear before jumping onto Mr. H’s lap in the recliner. The older couple were like her grandparents having watched over her since she was a tiny little thing. Safe to say they were her favorite really really old people to hang out with.

“Hey, Roro,” the old man kissed the top of her head, “How are the cookies looking?”

“Really yummy! When she isn’t looking we can sneak and take them.”

He chuckled, “Do you think we can make it past her. She’s pretty crafty.”

Ro nodded enthusiastically, “I’m staying more! So when she’s sleeping we can watch more movies and eat them! We can even have some chocolate milk!”

“Under the cover of night? Sounds like a good plan.”

“What are the two of you talking about?” Mrs. H asked, handing Ro a juice box.

Ro smiled sweetly, “I wanna watch Polar Express, but he wants to watch the Grinch.”

“How about we watch the Polar Express and we let you open up your Christmas present early?” A pick me up for the disappointment the child had faced today. Ro had been talking about going home the whole day.

“Yeah!”

“But you can’t sneak out and eat all the cookies when I’m sleeping.”

“Oh, okay,” Ro’s face fell at being caught, “I’ll be extra good. Promise.”

“Go on, grab yours. It’s the one with the Buzz Lightyear wrapping.”

Ro stood and ran to the tree. A couple of presents crowded it, most of them for out of state grandchildren. Grabbing hers, Ro shook the box. She liked surprises and drawing them out was always fun. “I love it!”

“You haven’t even opened it yet,” the old man laughed.

“I know but I’m so excited! It’s gonna be so cool!” Ro started shredding up the paper, doorbell ringing before she could open up the box to see what was inside.

Mrs. H waved it off, “Open your toy. I’ll answer the door.” Mrs. H opened the front door, two men blocking the entrance, “Can I help you?”

“We came to pick up the kid,” one answered simply.

“No. She’s fine here. No use in taking her anywhere else. Ro’s comfortable and safe here.”

“My wife is right. She isn’t going anywhere,” Mr. H chimed in, getting up from his chair.

“Let’s make this nice and simple, okay? Give us the kid so we can be on our way,” the other piped up.

Ro looked between all the adults. The two men looked too big and scary. She never ever went with strangers. “I don’t wanna go with them,” she started, tears already in her eyes, “I wanna stay here.”

“Don’t worry, Roro you won-“ before Mrs. H could finish, a loud bang sounded out through the small living room.

“Ro run!” Mr. H pushed her small body away, already reaching for the gun he kept near the recliner.

Ro stared shell shocked at Mrs. H on the floor. Red leaking on to the carpet. She didn’t noticed the splattered bits of red staining her Pikachu pajamas. The sound of more bangs made her run. Bigger footsteps chasing after her. Running outside, she crawled into her usual hiding spot. The bear was clutched against her chest as she crawled under the house. Her head not quite grasping what had happened at all. They were all safe and happy just a little bit ago. Mrs. H was just playing a mean prank. She’d tell the big men to leave and give her a cookie. Then Ro would cry, but Mrs. H would hold her and she’d be safe.

“Where did the kid go!”

“Fucking find her or that’s our asses.”

Ro felt scared, but she didn’t want to cry. If she cried she’d make loud sounds and she didn’t want them to find her. She finally made it to the trap door. The one that popped right up into the living room closet. Dropping her bear she pushed it up and climbed up into the closet.

Her hand landed on something wet and warm. She sat on the edge of the hole and reached down for her bear, cuddling into it for comfort. Through the slits in the door she could see Mrs. H on the floor next to the closet and Mr. H next to the Christmas tree, her new chemistry set crushed under him. They’re eyes looked scary. Too scary. She wanted her mommy and daddy.

The tears started falling and she couldn’t help the sounds. Her mommy and daddy would save her, they always saved people. They’d save her too. They had to. Daddy always said he’d keep her safe. She hugged her bear tightly, hiding her face against its fur, it helped quiet her down some.

“You’re fucking shiting me!” A man yelled getting back inside the house.

“Little girl, come out! We know your mommy and daddy. We’re their friends!”

No, they weren’t. Mommy and daddy didn’t like mean people. She didn’t dare speak.

Their footsteps could be heard going towards the rooms of the house. They wouldn’t find her in her closet. She wouldn’t move. She was too scared to even attempt it even though the front door was so close.

How come mommy, daddy, or Rhodey haven’t came to save her yet? She tried to remember how Happy taught her how to fight, but she was too little and Happy never wanted to hurt her. The scary men would hurt her.

It felt like forever. All she could hear were the men pushing things and saying bad words. Ro shut her eyes tight, not wanting to see Mr. and Mrs. H. Their eyes felt like they were burning into her.

“How’d we lose that dumbass kid? How old is she four?”

“I don’t fucking know. The house ain’t that big and it’s dark out. She didn’t leave we’ll find her eventually.”

They rummaged through the kitchen for a while. One walked back into the living room, munching on a cookie she had made. He gave a kick to Mr. H’s head as he passed by. The sound of the crack making her flinch. “Not very many places to hide kid,” he called out, “We’ll take you to mom and dad all you gotta do is come hug uncle Davy.”

A woman walked onto the scene, undisturbed by the gore surrounding her. “That sounds kinda suspect don’t you think?”

The man aimed the gun and fired, the red haired lady dodged it easily, and Ro let out a squeak at the sound. Both men stared at the door and ran for it. Only the small woman in between Ro and them. Ro could hear nothing but screaming and hitting. They were gonna take her away. She crawled deeper into the closet, trying to hide under the hanging coats.

Not too long after it was quiet, if you didn’t take into account the young child’s crying. She heard a steady clack, like the heels Pepper liked to wear, heading for the closet. The door opened and a woman crouched down to look her in the eye.

“Hi, Ro,” she smiled, “I’m Natasha.”

...N-Natasha?” She asked unsteadily.

“That’s right.” Natasha held out her hand, “Do you mind stepping out here?”

Ro nodded, trying to be smaller. “I don’t want you. You can lie. I want my mommy and daddy. I just want my mommy and daddy.” She started to cry loudly, the cry where it felt like you couldn’t catch your breath.

Natasha reached for the child and picked her up, “You’re safe now. I’ve worked with your dad before. I’m an Avenger like him. My friend Nick there worked with your grandpa. See? We’re safe.”

Ro clung to Natasha, needing the comfort she was providing. If Natasha was an Avenger then she was safe. She could vaguely remember seeing a picture of her in papers in Tony’s lab when he worked on the other’s suits. “Are my friends okay?” She hiccuped, the words difficult to decipher but enough for Natasha to understand.

“They’re hurt and we need to take you out of here. Let us take you somewhere safe.”

Ro shook her head, not understanding. “Are mommy and daddy going to be there?” She sniffled, “Tell them they need to keep their promise and make me safe.”

“As soon as we can find them,” Natasha reassured the child. Natasha pressed Ro’s face against her shoulder, making sure she wouldn’t see anymore of the grisly scene. It was probably in vain but she had to try something. When they were clear, Natasha helped her into the SUV, other S.H.I.E.L.D agents on the scene.

“He’s all dirty and bloody…” Ro sniffed, not realizing her own appearance gave Tony Bear a run for his money.

“We can get you a new one sweetheart.”

“But daddy gave this Tony Bear to mommy. He’s special and I messed him up. I was supposed to take care of him. And Mr. and Mrs. H are so bloody too,” her breath started coming in short, “I don’t know where mommy and daddy are and uncle Rhodey is fighting. I’m all alone.”

Natasha took the small child’s face into her hands, “Shh, look at me,” she waited until Ro stared at her, “Breathe in and breathe out.” The pair continued the exercise until Ro calmed down. “You’ve been through a lot tonight.”

“....is this what happens where you’re an Avenger? I told daddy I wanted to be one…”

“You want to be an Avenger?” Natasha asked, bypassing the first half of the question, “That would be cool. Too many boys on the team already. Do you have a favorite?”

“Daddy. He keeps me safe all the time. He’s supposed to….Where am I gonna go?”

“Well, we found a nice family that can take care of you until your mom and dad come back home,” Natasha answered, moving Ro’s hair out of her face. “Why that face?”

“I don’t like strangers,” she answered, staring at the house, “Can’t I stay with you? I feel safe with you and daddy knows you, so you’re safe. We can even stay in my little house.”

Natasha was on the verge of saying no. There were things she had to do, but all she could think about was how she had grown up. The smallest bit of niceness would have done wonders. She looked at the frail, small thing that was covered in dirt and blood. “Maybe a couple of days couldn’t hurt.”

Ro shot up to wrap her arms around Natasha’s neck, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, kid,” Natasha patted Ro’s back. Another child wrapping her around their fingers.

“Wakey wakey,” Killian said, slapping your face to get you to rise, “There she is.”

You groaned, opening your eyes. Looking down, you noticed they changed clothes and there were restraints kept you from so much as budging. “Whatever you want...I’m not the way you’re gonna get it. We’ve had this talk before.” And you had as grim as it was in the throes of the honeymoon phase. Tony and you both agreed no matter what he wouldn’t be used to hurt anyone no matter what the risk. You knew Tony would try like hell to save you, of course he would, but if it came down to it well... “He won’t give you what you want.”

“We’ll see about that. Won’t we?” Killian looked toward one of his lackies, “Your kid should be joining us soon enough. What the status on that?”

“They made it there at 10 pm. Still no word, but it’s an old couple and a kid. How hard could have that been?”

“No. No! Leave her alone. She has nothing to do with this!” You shouted, trying in vain to fight the restraints. “Leave her out of this Killian. She’s just a child.”

“Maybe you do have some fight in you after all” he commented on your outburst, otherwise undisturbed, “Might help you with Extremis.”

Maya started setting you up with an IV. “This half is more his idea than anything,” she stated, “I just wanted you and the kid.”

You flinched away from her, “I’m telling you he won’t help you. He’d let me die before he lets another thing he made kill people.

“Well, we’ll just have to bank on you being wrong.” Maya injected the serum into the line.

There wasn’t time to so much as think before you started screaming. You wanted to be stubborn and hold in the screams. Anything other than giving them the satisfaction, but this was worse than anything you had ever experienced. The liquid felt thick as it moved through your veins. The serum quick to contaminate every inch of your body. A fire had been lit inside of you. Any worries you had trickled away as it was replaced with physical pain.

Killian took a couple minutes to appreciate the view. “Hasn’t gone boom yet. Might just survive. We should get this show on the road already. The other two and the kid can catch up.”

Everything Tag:

Marvel Tag:

Tony Stark Tag:

| @bit-bot0711 | @tonystarkxreader | @mikariell95 | @genzparker

Learning To Live

| @editsbyjenny | @vesta-ro | @princess76179 |

#tony stark x reader #marvel #mcu fanfic #reader insert

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saintheartwing · 4 years

Text

Invader Zim: The Pigshit Troll, Part Two

"Well, son, I can tell something's truly bothering you." Professor Membrane remarked as he sat down next to Dib in his room, black-gloved hands folded in his lap, his eyes gazing down through his big, large white goggles…not that you could see them, that glass was thick! "I'd like us to be closer. Please, talk."

"Wow, that's new." Dib thought. His dad outright approaching him pretty much out of nowhere just to talk? "Uh…Dad, when you were young, did people call you names? Bully you? Like…a lot? I'm getting accused of being this horrible online bully that's just TRASHING people's stories on the school website."

"You? Oh, Dib, that sounds so silly! You're slightly whiny, my boy, not a troll."

"…thanks, I guess?" Dib muttered as his Dad ruffled his hair.

"Complaining isn't always a bad thing, Dib. When people were getting sick from the food they bought at their local groceries, it took going to Congress and complaining to the government that the food wasn't right to change things. If we don't point out when something doesn't work, then it won't ever get made better. And sometimes it works! Look at that delightful Sonic movie. I remember when I was young, seeing that trailer drop. My heart sank. My hopes were crushed. But then…then they listened to the outcry, made Sonic look far better, and it was as if I was a child again playing Genesis, hidden away in my closet!" He proclaimed. "Sometimes people listen, sometimes they make changes, and it makes things better. THAT'S the eternal hope of people who complain. That if they say just the right words to the right person at the right time…they'll convince them to be better than they are."

"I'd LIKE to think that." Dib sighed. "But sometimes…I think people just wanna get stuff off their chest."

"Well, that's a human response." His dad told him. "That's normal."

"And sometimes I think people just wanna scream at someone and be heard!"

"That's normal too." Professor Membrane added. "At any rate, I'm not going to tell you to simply get a thicker skin and "buck up". The studies show that doesn't work at all!" He remarked, shaking his head back and forth. "And I'm certainly not going to tell you to retreat into yourself either, or just never go online. No, you need to talk to people about it. Talking always helps, that's what the data shows." He told Dib with a firm, wise, nod. "You can always come to me about this sort of thing, son. I promise you."

"That does make me feel a little better." Dib admitted, his father ruffling his hair before he left the room, a soft warmth spreading through Dib's frame. That HAD been nice, being able to just chat with his Dad. Still…he needed a long term solution. Talking to his father about this sort of thing was pretty much just a band aid.

He needed a more permanent fix. Luckily he knew just who to turn to.

"I need your help."

Gaz couldn't believe what she was hearing. She stared at Dib, mouth agape, eyes wide.

"…YOU…need MY help." She remarked as she stopped playing the latest edition of "Super Smash Bros X Street Fighter", putting the controller down. "…I should call Ripley's Believe it or Not. Rarer than Bigfoot! Rarer than the Loch Ness Monster! Rarer than an actual alien! DIB MEMBRANE ASKING FOR MY HELP." She gave a big, fat, grin. "By the way, that reminds me, guess who was using the belt sander?"

"Wait, Bigfoot's back?!" Dib asked, gaping in surprise. "Is he still there?!" He wanted to know as Gaz led him to the garage door.

"It was never Bigfoot, Dib." She told him.

"Then who was it?"

"CHEWBACCA!" She proclaimed with a grin as, sure enough, a tall, crossbow-blaster-wearing furry alien stood there, black nose a bit ruffled as he finished putting the last touches on his new knife using the belt sander, and cheerily grinned at Gaz, waving at her.

"CHEWIE?!" Dib asked.

"What a Wookie." Gaz sighed. "He's been smuggling me parts for my room security ever since I found him. I can't believe you ever spooked him enough to chase him off, though. What on Earth did you use?"

"Well, evidently wookies are positively terrified of air horns." Dib confessed. "Sorry about that. Must have super sensitive ears, huh?"

"HUUUUHRRRRRUUNNHHH!" Chewie agreed, exiting the garage as Dib sighed and turned to Gaz.

"So can you help me track down that troll?" He wanted to know.

"I dunno…" Gaz rubbed her chin. "I mean, I don't like getting bad reviews left on my stories either, but it is KINDA funny to see you squirming and under so much scrutiny." She confessed. "And you can't just move away or anything. Even if you did, if more reviews popped up trashing people's work, they would just all assume it's still you. Other countries got internet, after all. Unless you were literally tied to a pole and couldn't TYPE, people would just assume you're still at it."

"You're all heart!" Dib grumbled.

"Hey, you wanted help, I'm giving you the truth. That's just how people feel, you can be a really condescending asshole." Gaz said. "You ain't no perfect little angel."

"As opposed to being a REGULAR asshole like you or Zim?" Dib said, his temper flaring up, Gaz looking astounded that Dib was actually talking back to her. "And I've never CLAIMED to be an angel, Gaz, I…I KNOW I can be kind of…pushy. Obsessive compulsive. And I know I can be…insensitive to what other people think and…okay yeah! Yeah, I can be a jerk!" He threw his hands in the air and sighed. "But I'm doing something literally no other kid has to do!" He paced around, shaking his head back and forth. "No OTHER kid has to put up with trying to stop an alien lunatic that's not just a megalomaniac and psychotic alien but somebody outright sadistic and evil and petty and manipulative and a total jerk! On a pretty much daily basis! And half the time he almost succeeds at what he does, and if I don't stop him, people DIE! That's…that is WAY too much to put on someone not old enough to shave!" Dib told Gaz.

"…yeah, I'll give you that one." Gaz sighed.

"But I'm the only one who gets shit on. Nobody at school criticizes you because you'll beat the crap out of them. You got those freaky powers and everything! Even the teachers are scared of you! Zim? Zim gets off because people see me trying to expose him and they think I'm bullying him unfairly! Even though every day he's always up to something horrible! Literally! Every day! I shouldn't have to deal with him, OR the stuff I get from you and my classmates and now all of this with people thinking I'm not just nutty for liking stuff they think is strange, but that I'm some rotten troll!"

"Maybe Zim is the troll." Gaz suggested.

Dib stopped in mid-spiel, and he gaped at her. "…that's…not baaaaad!" He murmured. "That IS the kinda thing he'd do! Framing me for something HE'S done! And when he wants to, he can be really fiendishly clever…" He paced back and forth. "But we need to check. Is there any way to check?" He murmured. "Could we trace his IP address?"

"We could if we hack into the school's computer system, and from there, we can access where the reviews got posted. But while you do that, I'm going to go call a…friend." She remarked, nonchalantly making her way off to her room as Dib raced for his, to begin his hard work. Gaz slid on into her chair in her room, typing into a little keyboard built into the armrest, and PING! A vid screen manifested before her, and a short, tubby Irken was on the other end.

Skoodge, Zim's…friend. Though given how he treated him, you'd think Skoodge was more of a servant. When they went to go get snacks and drinks, it was Skoodge who had to carry everything. When Zim wanted something moved, he got Skoodge to do it and never thanked him. And when it came to the food…

"You see, I can't stand eating anything day-old. So its only fair I make up for it in other ways!" Zim was insisting even now to Skoodge from the other end of the basement, leaving Skoodge with the day old donuts while Zim stuffed his face. Skoodge quietly sighed, shaking his head, and then turned to the screen on his computer station, seeing he had an incoming message, and turning it on.

"Ah, Gaz. How're you?" He asked. Gaz smiled back at him. Skoodge was very eager to please, easy to manipulate but, still…compared to most Irkens, he was a civil, nice sort. Conquering planets or the like was just a job to him, it wasn't personal, and he didn't seem to take any real delight in being a jerk the way Zim did, or Tak did. Besides, he also happened to find Gaz attractive. It was the purple hair. For some reason, Irkens looooved the color purple.

"Hey, Skoodge, I need a favor. Has Zim been bragging about being the troll at school leaving all those awful, sick reviews?" Gaz wanted to know.

"Oh, no. But he's loving seeing Dib go to pieces." Skoodge remarked. "It's really mean. He can't stop laughing uncontrollably whenever the topic gets brought up. He said he wishes he'd thought of it, it's so simple and evil a plan that it should have been his plan."

Gaz had to admit that she'd been pleasantly surprised to find Skoodge so agreeable. She'd gone gaming with him, playing online, and she'd grown to learn a lot about him, and also, in return, about Irkens, and it astounded her how much they really had in common with humans. After all, her leaders were also lazy, egotistic, smug jerks who liked hurting people for not being good enough, who forced you into bad jobs that paid barely anything, and thought they were a lot smarter and better than they really were!

And they also placed an emphasis on being tall too. Nobody really respected a short President Man!

Truly, two species joined at the hip without knowing it.

"Thanks, Skoodge. I appreciate it. You're really sure it isn't him, huh? Maybe…it's a long shot but…is GIR doing it? I mean, sometimes GIR gets up to weird things with Minimoose and the Computer."

"GIR has pretended to be a girl online, but he'd never be sadistic enough to leave those kind of messages." Skoodge remarked with a shake of his head.

This was true. The new MMO that came out, "Portal Defenders", a massive crossover game indeed, had come out about five months back and Skoodge had gotten super into it, and he'd been, along with Gaz, very surprised to find a very willing girl character who played as the one and only XJ9 from "My Life As A Teenage Robot" eager to help them. They'd gone on many a raid together and much to their delight, she'd proven invaluable…and also proven to be GIR.

Still, hey. It was a valid life choice. Fine by him.

"Hmm. So much for that. It's not you, is it?"

"No way!" Skoodge insisted. "I get my stories crapped on because I exclusively write fetish material. I'm VERY into macrophilia."

"Yeah, I always wanted to ask, how come you're so into big, huge stories with the rampages or the giants or the big aliens stomping around or eating people? It's kinda odd." Gaz admitted. "I mean, I'm into super metal stuff, I like weird things too, but I always wanted to ask…"

This was true. Skoodge also attended the school in disguise, the same grade as Gaz, and he actually had a lot of talent too. But he reaaaaally enjoyed writing stories with big monsters and aliens. Time after time, they'd be leveling cities or whole towns or some rando would end up becoming a big beast that gobbled up his coworkers or the like. Occasionally he even dived deeper and entire planets would be broken apart or devoured! It was well written, without a doubt, engaging, but it could get…kinda scary.

"Well…I'm short and fat and not the least bit threatening." Skoodge sighed. "Look at me. I'm a tubby loser." He murmured as he picked up his fat gut and shook it about. "But in these stories, I can be anything. I can be big, and powerful, wonderful and terrible all at once. Everyone loves me and fears me all at once. I kinda felt like that right after I conquered Blorch, and the Slaughtering Rat People…until the Tallest shot me outta the closet and another Invader took the credit for my work."

"Wish fulfillment, huh?" Gaz sighed. "Hey, y'know, I get it. I mean, it's why I keep watching "The Craft" or "Carrie" all the time, I'd love to do the kinda things those girls do in those films. Just let loose, y'know?"

"Yeah, sometimes you just gotta feed that wolf that's howling outside your door. Besides, the guidance counselor said it's a good way for me to deal with my more unpleasant urges by expressing them in a creative way." Skoodge added with a smile. "And it's worked! Putting all this on paper made me work through my thoughts and feelings and I began to realize how rotten my species are. We're just the literal worst. Did you know we executed the last artist we had on Irk because he refused to stop drawing propaganda?"

"That sounds dickish."

"It WAS! He said art should be about more than convincing people to blow stuff up. Then they blew him up. A bunch of pieces of him evidently got on Tallest Miyuki when she was in her Invader training, and that's why she decided to tone down the imperialistic tendencies of the Empire…for all the good it did us once Red and Purple came around." Skoodge sighed. "It's too bad, I missed working alongside the Vortians in the labs, those were good years." He confessed.

"Thanks for the help, Skoodge. Keep an eye on Zim for me, wouldja? Good to chat with you again. See you around!" Gaz told him, giving Skoodge a deliberate wink, then shutting the screen off as he sighed softly.

"Anything for you…" He murmured.

Dib meanwhile, had broken into the school system and was looking at various reviews left under people's stories. Hmm, this one was from Gaz-oh. OH! He hadn't seen this before. She was taking umbrage at how the character…an obvious stand-in for her, was portrayed. After all, she had a rough upbringing too, with Professor Membrane never around and yes, when Dib had been younger, he'd done a couple experiments on her. It had actually been what turned her hair purple, and he deeply regretted it, though she'd said she actually ended up LIKING her hair turning that way.

Dib cringed as he read the review. He got that she wanted to see herself as the hero, but…c'mon, Gaz. "I'M the one literally putting my life on the line just about every day, you're playing Game Slave and stuffing your face with pizza, I think I deserve a bit more understanding than you do." He muttered. She came off as so…entitled here!

Oh, and now a new review. "You should be nicer to Zim. He's got mental health issues."

"So do I, but I don't go around trying to destroy planets and enslave people." Dib muttered. "Zim isn't just insane. He's evil. Jesus. Why are there so many Stans for Zim? They all keep thinking he's being picked on when I'm the one who almost always gets it the worst…"

He cringed, stopping himself. "Stop it, Dib. No more pity parties. No more self-flagellating. You gotta focus." He murmured, examining the reviews, scrolling, scrolling. A lot of the troll reviews had been taken down by the teachers because they'd gotten sick of it too, but-wait. A new one. "ReVIEW MY STORiES! YOUR SToRiES ARE PIGSHIT!"

Ah ha. He had the IP address. His fingers swiftly moved across the keyboard, typing rapidly, his eyes widening as he saw where it came from.

It couldn't be. But…

The address was Membrane Labs.

His father's workplace.

What…the…fuuuuuuuck?

#Invader Zim #Zim #Dib #Gaz #Skoodge #fanfiction #fanfic #comedy #drama #dramedy

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what-stop-the-presses-rly-means · 4 years

Note

Hi can I have a BMC and DEH ship? I’m a lesbian who is obsessed with theatre. Generally likes fandoms. Is awkward around most people and rambles. But opens up to others. Loves to preform. 5’2” Girl. -Sincerely, Me

Here it is! 🤗

BMC:

I ship you with Brooke!

She would just think you were the cutest thing and would never stop gushing about you!

She thinks you're super adorable and teases you about your height sometimes, but it's all in good fun. She would start calling you her little good luck charm

Brooke doesn't know much about theatre but she's always willing to learn new things, especially if they're important to you

Once she finds out there are musicals like Heathers and Mean Girls she's hooked. She really likes finding a common ground between the two of you. It makes her feel more connected

The more she gets into theatre the more excited she gets when you perform. Now that she understands the shows and the terminology, she can fully appreciate the experience

And she will go all out, showing of her theatre knowledge. When she meets up with you after the show, she'll say things like, "I like how you exited STAGE LEFT. That was a good choice." and "I'm glad you got here in time for CURTAIN CALL." It's sweet how proud she is

She is extremely forgiving whenever you feel awkward. She understands because that's how she was for awhile when all she did was follow Chloe around

So if you ever need someone to talk to, or even have someone who's just silently there for you, Brooke will happily be there

DEH:

I ship you with Zoe!

You don't have to worry about being awkward around Zoe. She's really easy to talk to and is totally understanding, though kinda pushy at times

She's had a lot of practice, dealing with Evan and her brother. Sometimes she'll joke about it. "I've had to see those two losers awkwardly dance around each other for too long. If you like me, just say so."

Zoe can be pretty straight forward when she wants to be, and usually it works. Though she never wants to be too aggressive and scare you off, so she makes sure you always know she's joking

She's not a big theatre fan but she does love music. So if you ever wanna hang out and just listen to musical soundtracks, she's there

She also taught herself how to play some of your favorite songs on the guitar as a surprise so you guys can sing together

Zoe will also help you with auditions whenever she can. She'll run lines with you, play music so you can rehearse songs, give you pep talks and good luck smooches. She does it all because she wants to see you happy and successful

One thing most people don't know about her is that she can be a pretty big fangirl. It's not obvious at first, but if you mention a specific show or book she won't stop talking for hours

She likes that there's a balance between the two of you. She kind of brings you out of your shell and you show her it's okay to be who she is

Thanks so much!

-Sincerely, Me ❤

#be more chill #Bmc #brooke lohst #dear evan hansen #Deh #zoe murphy #Ships #Mine

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luffysmeat · 5 years

Note

Omg hi, I'm nervous Could you please do an imagine where the s/o is a little traumatized with sex (I don't know if it makes sense to you, but I think ya get it) and she wants to have sex with them but she is... afraid? With Law, Sanji and Shanks? I really love ur blog Sorry about my english

Aaaaah, I hope this is what you wanted! I hope you enjoy these and I'm sorry it took me so long!

Law

You never thought Law would be the cuddly type during his sleep but, once more, you find yourself trapped in his embrace as he snores softly against your neck.

It's a bit hot and his body a bit heavy over yours, but you don't dare to move. You know how hard it is for Law to fall asleep and waking him up means that he'd be in a bad mood during all morning, but it is truly hot, so you can't help but wiggle a little and see how trapped you are.

You are very trapped.

"Don't move," he mumbles against your ear, making you squeak softly. "If you wiggle like that I might-

You freeze feeling him pressed against your thigh: his body is reacting to you and your movements. The feeling of his arousal makes you feel uncomfortable, but you don't move. "I'm sorry," you whisper and he hums. "La-Law," you gasp when his warm and wet tongue swirls around your earlobe, his teeth sinking into the soft skin making it sting just a little, the light pain making a wave of excitement rush through you.

This is okay, everything seems okay. It's Law. It's Law. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe! You say to yourself to calm down your racing heart. The knot in your throat doesn't dissipate, though.

Law tightens his embrace and your heart jumps in fear, your skin suddenly itching uncomfortably.

His kisses travel to your jaw, trying to find the spot that makes you melt, when he finds it you can't help but whimper slightly, the sound making him stop. "What's wrong?"

"Please, no more," you say through gritted teeth and closed eyes, your body is stiff and trembling slightly, your fingers and toes curling. "I- I can't, Law."

Law frowns as he lets go of you, his eyes not leaving you once as he studies you deeply. "What is wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Law," tears start to pour out of your eyes and Law panics, quickly sitting on the bed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"What! Why are you crying? What's wrong?!"

He doesn't want to touch you, he can't stand looking at you crying, so he stays away, just looking at you laying on the bed, covering your face with your hands and sobbing softly. "Sex- sex scares me."

Oh.

He can't help but feel furious hearing what you say. Not at you, but at the reason behind your fear- whatever or whoever that caused this fear on your, it deserves to die and he's sure he can do it with his bare hands.

Law is not good at expressing his feelings, but he really does feel deep inside his heart, so knowing that his lover is scared to be with him because of someone else, really pisses him. He knows it's not your fault, you are the victim here, dragging a trauma with you for god knows how long ago.

"I really really would like to have sex with you, but I can't, I'm sorry." He doesn't want to hear you apologize, you don't have to apologize for goodness sake! "I'm truly s-

"Stop," he sharply says. "Stop apologizing, you don't have to apologize, dammit!"

You uncover your face to look at him, "Law?"

"It's okay if we don't have sex!" He's avoiding looking at your eyes. "We don't- we don't need to have sex, but... You need to know that I will never hurt you nor push you to do things that make you cry. One day you'll... be able to overcome your fear and, no matter how much time it'll take you, I'll be there to support yo- stop crying!"

"I can't help it! You're saying such sweet things! I love you so much!" You sit up and hug him tightly. "I love you, Law."

Law grunts, hugging you back. "I love you too, [Name]."

Sanji

"S-Sanji!" She giggled when yet another playful butterfly kiss was pressed right behind her right ear. "Stop doing that, I'm trying to eat this!"

"I can't help it, [Name]-chan, I love when you do that sound!" He kissed a different spot on her neck and the sound that came out of her mouth was not alike a giggle, it was heavier and, to Sanji's ears, way too arousing. "And that one too."

"S-Sanji, you worked a lot to make this cake and you don't let me- ah!" She gasped when Sanji wrapped his arms around her middle and his mouth came back to the spot that made her insides feel warm. "Sanji-kun, wait-

His kisses felt good, sending pleasant shivers down her back and making her twist this way and that as arousal started to gather in her body, but with arousal came an awkard sensation that she tried to ignore. The clenching in her heart and the drop in her stomach when Sanji's hands gently started to move around her body, touching lightly to make her feel good.

She tried to ignore the fear starting to crawl and grasp at her chest, 'it's Sanji, it's Sanji. It's okay, it's okay, he doesn't mean harm, he just wants to-

"Sanji, please, stop." Sanji let go of her immediately and stepped a few steps back to let her breath.

He heard the wavering in her voice, the fear and the difficulty in her breathing. "I am so sorry, [Name]-chan." His voice is a whisper as he eyed her carefully.

"It's not your fault," she hurriedly said with a hand pressed above her chest. "I really want to sleep with you but... I'm scared."

Sanji worries deeper hearing your voice. Did someone hurt you? How could someone hurt a lady like you? Sadness overwhelmed his heart seeing you so scare and fragile, even shiver a little. "May I touch you, [Name]-chan?"

She didn't answer right away, but letting out three deep breaths she finally nodded and Sanji approached slowly, not wanting to scare her again. "I'm sorry, Sanji," she whispered with tears in her eyes and Sanji immediately wraps her between his arms in a tight embrace, kissing her forehead.

"No, [Name], please don't apologize. It must be hard for you, I wish I knew before so I wouldn't-

"I really want to, though," she cried, holding tightly onto him. "I really want to be with you in all ways possible, but... I'm scared," she sobbed, making Sanji's heart throb.

"It's okay, my love. It's truly okay." Sanji cupped her face between his hands, cleaning her tears off with his thumbs and kissing her nose lightly.

He knows about trauma, he knows one can't just step away of it easily, he knows it hunts you and eats you up inside, keeping you from moving up, but you're not alone.

"You really are not alone, my love. I'm right here with you," he whispered against her lips, the tip of your nose touching hers. "We don't need sex to demonstrate our love. We don't need to do something that hurts you and causes you despair."

"But I do-

"I understand you want to do it, but let's not rush it right now. Let's take our time to overcome this together, hmm? Even if it takes us years, I'll always be by your side, my love."

"Sanji," she sobbed again and he chuckled softly, kissing the tears falling down her cheeks.

"Sounds like a plan?" She nodded, whining softly. "I love you, [Name]-chan and I've got your back, baby. You don't have to worry about anything."

Shanks

"[Name]-chan, c'mon!" He begs with a whiny voice. "You always tell me no! And I'll let you know that's quiet hot, but I kind of can't hold myself back anymore, please?"

Your whole face burns with every word that leaves his mouth, your eyes also burning with held back tears, hearing the begging tone on his voice. "Shanks, please, I told you no already."

"But why, [Name]-chan? We've been together for a while now and it's not like I'm being obsessive but you are truly beautiful and you always block me when I try to make a move! Ah, but, perhaps, you don't want to be with me in that way?"

"I do!" You gasps, lifting your head to look at him. "I really do, but I- I-

"Don't cry! Oh no, please don't cry, love. I'm sorry, I was so pushy just now, I'm sorry. I promise I'll not ask for it again, just don't cry!" He hugs you tightly, rubbing your back with his warm palm.

"I'm scared," you sob into his shoulder. "I'm scared of sex, Shanks."

"What?" He pulls apart to look at your face: wet with tears. "Did something happen to you? Did someone hurt you?"

His worried expression only makes you cry harder as you hold onto him. "I'm sorry I can't give you what you want, I also really want to have sex with you, but, I just can't. I'm so sorry."

He cups one side of your face, wiping your tears away and pressing his forehead against yours. "I'm the one who's sorry, sweetheart," he whispers. "I kept pushing you and begging around without listening to your reasons, I'm truly sorry."

"Shanks..."

"If you want to, we'll work this out together, yeah?" He smiles gently at you. "I'll show you that you are safe with me, love. There's nothing to be afraid of because I protect you and care of you. And even if you just don't want to do anything about this, I'll still love you endlessly," he says sincerely. "We don't need sex to prove our love, do we?"

You smile at him, "thank you, Shanks."

"There's nothing to thank me for! I love you, [Name] and I care about you and I want your happiness forever." He presses his lips softly against yours and that honestly feels more than enough for both of you.

#one piece #one piece scenarios #Trafalgar Law #vinsmoke sanji #akagami no shanks #r: scenarios #r: things

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sebthesnipe · 4 years

Text

Plot Twists

First // Previously // Next

My Dearest Procyon

Other works by me

Chapter 22

Original story based on this wonderful post by @underdog-arts

Patton scratched behind Logan’s ear absently as he continued to read the large book settled in his lap. The cat had fallen asleep some time ago while Patton read to him. The dragon didn’t have the heart to wake him. The poor man had been through a lot in the last few weeks. It was no wonder he was so exhausted, both mentally and physically.

So, Patton now sat quietly, gaze lazily drifting over the words in front of him. He was content to stay there for the rest of the day if the shopkeep would allow him. Something told him that wasn’t going to be the problem, however, as he caught a glimpse of a man clad in green out of the edge of his peripherals.

Patton hesitated, glancing down at Logan to make sure he was still sleeping soundly. He closed the book gently before setting it aside and wiggling out of the chair, careful not to disturb the beast. He double checked that Logan was indeed still unconscious before slipping away after the uninvited visitor.

“Well, don’t you look all cozy snuggled up to the Stargazer,” Remus’ nasal voice came as Patton rounded one of the shelves, catching sight of him on the other side of the aisle.

Patton’s usually permanent smile was nowhere to be found as he hurried over. “What are you doing here Remus? You’re not supposed to be anywhere near Roman or the others,” Patton urged in a harsh whisper.

“Relax, your lectures always drag-on,” Remus snorted, a hand lifting to his lips as he let out a soft giggle, “Seriously though, I’m not really here. I stole one of your brother’s astral projection charms.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better. You’re going to get yourself killed!” Patton urged, brows furrowing. “You need to be more careful.”

“Aw, how sweet! You’re worried about me?” Remus mocked, his own smile falling. “What you need to be worried about is how you’re going to fix this! We’re running out of time. I can already feel Roman pushing through my blockers. It's that damn witch he’s with! If he-”

“Language, Remus!” Patton chided, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening.

“What? It sounded like English to me,” the mustached man shrugged.

“That’s not funny and you know it,” Patton sighed, a bit of smoke escaping from his nostrils.

“Oh, come off it Patticake, you know you miss me,” Remus teased, stepping closer. Patton lifted a hand to motion for him to stop.

“As a friend, yes,” Patton admitted, meeting his gaze. “You know that. Now, stop avoiding the question. Why are you here? Why did you visit Roman? You know how dangerous that is!”

Remus eyed the smaller man as if he were trying to decide whether or not he wanted to be pushy with his affection, but eventually gave a sigh, deflating in defeat. “Fine,” he whined, drooping his shoulders, “You’re not as fun as your brother you know that?”

“Remus,” Patton warned with a heated look.

“Alright! Alright! Don’t get your panties in a twist. That is, if you’re even wearing any,” the nobleman grinned devilishly. Patton didn’t bother with a reaction, just folded his arms over his chest as he waited. “Ugh, you're so much more boring nowadays. Fine, I could feel my brother getting closer and you were supposed to stop him. That was the deal, and instead, I find you stargazing with Professor Dork over there and getting all doe eyed with the rest of them. You’re getting too emotionally involved.”

“I am not,” Patton argued, jaw clenching as he couldn’t help but flush.

“You are.You’re doing exactly what I said you would: You’re growing attached, Patton,” Remus warned. “And people are going to die because of it.”

“I won’t let that happen,” Patton assured, his glare intensifying.

“Oh? How do you expect to prevent it, hm? Because you’re doing such a great job of it now,” The astral projection countered.

“I’ll figure something out,” the dragon sighed, suddenly looking a bit unsure of himself.

“You better! If Roman dies, I’m next, and even if you’ve managed to protect your new pets, they won’t be too far along either!”

“I know!” Patton snapped in annoyance, a few sparks falling from the dragon’s lips., causing Remus fell to fall silent. They stood there for a long moment, both feeling the weight of their duty fall heavily on their shoulders.

“What will you do now?” Remus asked softly, seeming to have calmed himself.

“I… I don’t know,” Patton admitted, arms wrapping around himself. “I guess the first thing I need to do is get them back together-”

“You really think that is a good idea? If Roman sticks around with that trash panda then the likelihood that he’s going to-”

“I know,” Patton huffed, not liking being interrupted, “But breaking them apart now is going to be nearly impossible. Humans are stubborn creatures that will fight back if they care for one another too deeply.”

“I don’t see the problem. Witches can’t really be grouped in with humans and Roman only thinks he’s human, he’s incapable human emotions. I think you’re just scared,” Remus accused.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Remus. You may know your brother as he was, but not as he is. I think you underestimate him. I think you underestimate yourself,” Patton countered before pausing. “Why haven’t you rebelled against my own brother yet?”

“I’ve told you-”

“That you’re weak? I know,” Patton interrupted. “I don’t think that’s all of it though. I think you care for him. I think that all those years cooped up in his rooms, nothing but his demented conversations and games to keep you company… Things like that take their toll on someone’s mind, human or not. Otherwise… Why didn’t you run when Roman did?”

Remus’ shocked gaze turned into a glare as Patton continued to speak, painting a picture that the man wasn’t too fond of. “Stop talking or I’ll rip off your nipples and shove them up your nose,” he ordered with a growl.

“That doesn’t sound like a denial,” Patton replied with a small knowing smile even as Remus lifted his head to glance behind him at something Patton couldn’t see.

“This conversation isn’t over,” Remus whispered before disappearing.

Patton was left alone in the stacks, still holding himself for comfort. The dragon had meant it when he said that he had missed his friend. He was loathe to admit it, but Patton missed his brother as well. Sure, he felt at home here with Logan, Virgil, and Roman, but things were different. They didn’t know the things he knew. They didn’t know Patton like the others did.

Still… Patton glanced back towards the direction he had come from. He wasn’t lying to them. He couldn’t bring himself to do that, but keeping the truth from them even when it was for their own good did not feel nice.

He steeled himself against his own swirling emotions before heading back to the chair he hoped Logan was still sleeping on. He needed to figure this whole thing out and quickly.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

“Where do you think they’ll be?” Roman asked as he shifted the pack on his back. How did Patton make this thing look so light? The prince’s back was already starting to hurt from bearing its weight.

“I dunno,” Virgil sighed, looking ashamed of himself. “Logan takes things pretty seriously. He probably believed every word I said.”

“Hey,” Roman whispered softly, moving to rest a hand on the smaller man’s shoulder. “Give the guy a little more credit. He’s been dealing with you for awhile now. I’m pretty sure he knows when you're being overdramatic.”

“Overdramatic!” Virgil scoffed, pulling to a stop. “You’re one to talk! Don’t think I don’t hear you still talking to Patton about how we ‘kidnapped’ you!”

“Princenapped,” Roman corrected again, “And you did. I just discovered that I don’t mind it as much when my princenapper just happens to be extremely attractive.” Roman could feel the way Virgil tensed under his touch, the compliment causing him to hide his face beneath the hood of his cloak.

“Whatever,” the witch grumbled, pulling from the prince’s touch. “You’re still an ass.”

“Ugh! How dare you?!” Roman scoffed in feigned offense. “That is Prince Ass, to you! Besides, I’m a toned bodied ass with pretty eyes , remember?” he teased.

“I hate you so much,” Virgil hissed though Roman managed to catch sight of the small upturn of the other man’s lips.

“No you don’t,” Roman sang pleasantly as he pressed onwards. “Oh! Maybe, we should check the bakeries?” he offered before Virgil had a chance to continue their flirtatious bickering.

Virgil glanced up at the direction Roman was indicating, taking in the line of shops. They hadn’t known Patton long, but it was obvious that the dragon had an affinity for sweets, and Logan had an affinity for Patton. Reason dictated that wherever the dragon went, the witch wouldn’t be too far behind.

“I suppose that’s not a terrible idea,” Virgil huffed, hurrying to catch up with the other man. “We’ll check a couple of them and then head to the apothecary and then maybe the book shop.”

“Why the apothecary? Does he need an antidote for all that poison you were spitting?” Roman teased.

“Ha. Ha,” Virgil deadpanned, giving him a flat look. “Logan has an obsession with chemistry. It’s a bit unhealthy, but it’s come in handy a time or two.” Virgil pursed his lips as he remembered their escape. He could still smell the stomach churning scent of burnt flesh as the acid ate away a portion of Noname’s face.

“I don’t think I even want to ask,” Roman commented with a shiver, pulling Virgil from his thoughts.

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” he mused softly, giving Roman a small nudge with his shoulder. “Come on, Princey. These streets aren’t going to search themselves and we only have a few hours before nightfall…”

To be continued...

Taglist:

@hiddendreamer67 @nightashes @aequinoctiale @sumersnowlilly

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bae-leth · 5 years

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I had a bunch more stuff I wanted to say about Faris and Natalia’s relationship in the Fraldarddyd family AU but I thought it would be easier on everyone to put all my thoughts in one submissions instead of sending a dozen asks this time. Also, lol, I can’t believe I keep coincidentally giving these characters the names of your relatives, what the heck???

Let’s just go over Faris first. He’s a friendly and social guy. He’s obsessed with the stars and can talk about them for hours if given the chance. He’s a smart guy and super politically savvy, perfectly at home in even the most cutthroat political climates. He’s known to be very mischievous and prone to pranks, though the less he likes you then the harsher his pranks can be. He and Natalia are the same age but he’s a couple months younger, which she loves to hold over him especially after he grows taller than her. He and Zain are pretty close despite Zain loving to give his little brother shit whenever possible. I see him being magically gifted, so I imagine him as a Warlock. I see him mainly taking after Claude in terms of looks (I don’t really have a spouse in mind for Claude in this AU so I’m leaving that part kinda vague).

Strengths – Reason, Authority; Weaknesses – Axe, Brawl, Heavy Armor; Budding Talent - Lance

Zain is two years older than Faris and basically anyone who meets him considers him a stern and serious no-nonsense kind of crown prince. This is how he’s like around most people. However he allows himself to relax and show off a much more playful, emotional, teasing side around people he trusts wholeheartedly (his immediate family and a small handful of friends). He resembles his brother in having the same eye color and skin tone, but Zain looks much more rugged and mature. Unlike Faris he is perfectly at home on the battlefield, being a renowned Sniper with plenty of victories to his name. He never became a Barbarossa like his dad cause he’s scared of heights. He enjoys the ocean a ton, so he’s always up for ocean voyages and will take any and every chance to explore coastlines.

Strengths - Bow, Axe, Authority; Weaknesses – Faith, Flying; Budding Talent - Riding

The whole engagement thing between Faris and Natalia is largely unofficial and both sides mainly just want their kids to become close to promote good relations between Fodlan and Almyra. Although things would really work out the best if the pair did become romantically involved but no one is really pushy about it. Especially since Faris and Natalia just do NOT like each other. Honestly the only thing stopping the first meeting between the royal children from being a complete disaster is that both Faris and Zain quickly become attached to Artemis (prince of stealing hearts without even trying). Faris and Artemis latch onto each other since they have so much in common (second princes, good at magic, similar weaknesses, bookworms, etc) while Zain ends up considering Artemis like another little brother while Artemis really look up to Zain (it’s thanks to Zain that Artemis’ budding talent is bows). Also Zain actually ends up being friendly with Natalia too (he likes her strong, honest personality and honestly he finds the disaster that is hers and Faris’ relationship hilarious, plus she thinks he’s super cool and likes sparring with him). So it’s literally just Natalia and Faris at odds with each other.

“If you like Artemis so much, why don’t you marry him instead?!” “Maybe I will!” “Fine!” “Fine!” “FINE!” “FINE!!!” *Zain and Artemis in the background, talking about their favorite desserts and not getting involved in their siblings’ fight*

“Claude I’m starting to doubt if this will work out. The two of them hate each other.” “Well Felix hated you plenty for a few years and look at you now. Adorable little lovebirds, a love story perfect for the bards to sing of!” “Listen here you little-” “Felix please.”

In order to try and help Natalia and Faris get along they’re both sent to visit each other’s homeland a bunch over the years. Occasionally the whole family goes but the rulers can’t keep running off all the time. So most of the time it’s Natalia (and Artemis because Natalia barricaded herself in her room until her dads agreed to let her take Artemis along “to see that stupid Faris’ face”) visiting Almyra for several weeks and then a little while later it’s Faris visiting Fodlan, particularly Faerghus, for several weeks (only bringing Zain when he’s in a particularly bad mood thanks to Natalia since Zain keeps making fun of him otherwise).

Faris is kinda sorta okay when he’s in Faerghus, even though it’s absurdly cold most of the time. Hell, every time he thinks he’s wearing enough the weather proves him wrong. Natalia keeps laughing at him when he has to dress up like a marshmallow in order to go out in Faerghus winters. Natalia is very brutal in snowball fights…RIP Faris. He definitely prefers to stay inside by the fireplace, though Natalia is insistent on dragging him outside. It usually ends in him spending the last few days of his stay sick in bed.

Natalia, like Dimitri, is dead in heat so every time she goes to Almyra she spends around a week just laying on her bed wearing as little as proper manners will allow. Faris alternates between “helping” by practicing his ice magic on her or otherwise relying on her need to do better than him to goad her into playing with him. Though he had to lay off on that after Natalia got heatstroke once.

Natalia considers it a personal insult that her beloved horse absolutely adores Faris when he’s usually very picky about who he allows near him (“Ares, how could you do this to me?!” *neighs* “Oh don’t give me that attitude young man!”)

Faris, in the meanwhile, is not pleased by how his retainers-in-the-making are absolutely smitten with Natalia (“Did you see her in yesterday’s spar with the new recruits? She could break my spine and I’d thank her.” “Please, sweet embrace of death, come for me.”)

Artemis and Zain start being regular pen pals as they compare archery notes, seek advice from one prince to another, talk about recent events in their homeland and in their lives, and complain about their siblings/commentate on whether or not they’ll get together.

“I don’t know, Zain, after that incident with the birds Sister said, and I quote, ‘The next time I see that scrawny piece of *ahem* garbage, he’s dead. Almyra will be down a prince and they’ll be all the better for it.’ So I’m saying no.” “I’d agree with you, especially since Faris has been disturbingly interested in researching dark magic after eating those ‘super special Faerghus delicacies’ Natalia brought last time. But for as social as he is my brother is normally never so obsessed with anyone, so I think we may have a romance for the ages on our hands, my friend!”

The two of them play PLENTY of stupid pranks on each other over the years. Sometimes they flat out got into physical fights with each other. The people of Fodlan and Almyra have long since gotten used to the sound of Faris and Natalia yelling at each other and then the sound of crashing and punching.

That being said, not everything was bad between them. That one time Natalia got heatstroke, Faris was genuinely apologetic and worried about her and kept her company while she was bedridden. Likewise Natalia does feel bad when she keeps getting Faris sick while trying to show off Faerghus to him and will read him adventure stories to pass the time. Also I love the idea you mentioned of Faris trying to help Natalia get over her low spice intolerance (to mixed results, Natalia’s just glad she no longer downs an entire pitcher of water on her own after eating Almyran food). One time when a Faerghus noble child made a snide remark about Faris being Almyran, Natalia tackled the brat to the ground.

Faris, holding a tissue to Natalia’s bloody nose: “I thought you didn’t like me.” Natalia, very obviously confused: “??? What does not liking you have to do with you being Almyran?” Faris: “Heh, I suppose you’re right for once.”

“Zain, I think I want to change my opinion. Sister and Faris may have more of a chance than I originally thought.” “What did I tell you, Artemis? Romance for the ages…”

As the years pass and Natalia and Faris both grow and mature and mellow out, the two of them start to consider each other friends. They speak more, debate more, discuss their interests more, and slowly start to enjoy spending time together. Eventually it gets to the point where the two of them joke around about their kinda sorta engagement to each other. Natalia singing the absolute worst love songs while Faris writes the cheesiest poetry and love letters imaginable. Calling each other cutesy pet names, those kind of shenanigans.

Honestly, they mostly do it just to fuck with poor Zain and Artemis, who didn’t ask for this bullshit but are stuck with it anyways.

“Artemis, I need you to kill me, I can’t tolerate them anymore.” “Come now, Zain, it’s not so bad! Hey, why don’t we go for a ride on Altena? That always calms me down!” “I cannot stress enough how much I would rather die than do that…” “What are you trying to say about my sweet Altena, huh?” “Would you stop taking it as an insult against your wyvern every time?!”

Natalia starts teaching Faris about fighting with lances. And Faris helps Natalia grow more used to handling politics.

Honestly, there was something special growing between them for quite some time after they started getting along better, but neither of them really recognized what it could be. But they kept getting closer and closer as time passed. At public events they stuck by each other’s side and often danced together. They were seen going off on rides together or just taking walks while talking.

Faris is the first one to recognize his feelings when he comes along to help Natalia out with a skirmish. The pair make a great team in battle, covering for each other’s weaknesses well. Faris, too exhausted after a large number of enemies surrounded him, is almost taken down from behind when Natalia saves him. His joke has a fair amount of relief and gratitude in it when he says “Thanks for the help, sweetheart!” But WOW when Natalia turns to him with the most dazzling smile on her face, looking like she practically glowing with the sun behind her, Faris feels like his heart stops. “Anytime, honey!” And Faris just keeps staring after her as she rushes off after another enemy.

Natalia was always pretty but Faris has never actually acknowledged how pretty until that moment. And his heart won’t stop racing, her smile and voice still in his head. And oh fuck, oh shit, he knows exactly what this is…

“Zain, you umm…you wouldn’t happen to know when the next visit to Fodlan is, would you?” “…Why do you ask, my dear little brother? :))))))” “…Are you going to tell Arty about this?” *Zain, pulling out a piece of parchment and quill* “What gives you that idea????”

Faris regrets everything when his parents and brother don’t let him live it down that he’s now realized he’s in love with Natalia. “Whatever happened to ‘I’d rather become a hermit and die alone and unloved on a barren mountain than ever marry her’ Faris? Seven-year-old you was soooo dramatic!” “Father, please.”

Things don’t change too significantly after Faris’ realization. But there are changes. He’s noticeably softer around Natalia, smiling gently around her or going along with her wishes more easily. Most of his pranks towards her tone down to being things that give her pleasant surprises. The most significant change comes from the love letters and poems purposefully written badly for jokes slowly becoming more sincere sounding and really sweet.

Natalia doesn’t know what to make of the changes. They’re odd but she’s more surprised by how much she enjoys it. She even reads Faris’ letters and poems over and over well into the night. A warm and peaceful feeling spreads through her every time she gets a new letter from Faris or he holds her closer than usual during a dance.

She doesn’t realize it’s love until sometime later when she visits Almyra. Faris is so bright and excited as he drags her outside in the dead of night because the skies are so clear that you can see way more stars than normal and it’s soooo beautiful. Faris happily explains the stories behind all the different constellations and laughs so happily recalling some of his favorite tales. Natalia stares and stares at him and thinks that she could watch him smile and laugh like that forever. At some point Faris starts holding her hands and pulls her close to him as he keeps pointing out constellations and telling her stories. And Natalia tries so hard to concentrate on his words but all she can focus on is his hands and how warm they are and so much bigger than hers and how she wants him to keep holding her and-Oh. Ooohhhh…Oh fuck…

“So, Sister, you enjoyed your last visit to Almyra a lot, didn’t you?” “Hmm? What gave that away, Artemis?” *Natalia, lying on her bed surrounded by all of Faris’ letters and poems to her, giggling to herself as she reads them* “…Just a hunch.”

“Felix, it seems Claude was right. He tells me Faris is rather obviously smitten. And it’s easy to tell Natalia is in love. While I’m sad at how quickly the children are growing up, it’s wonderful to see them so happy, isn’t it?” “Uh-huh yeah sure, do you think this blade is sharp enough or should I take it back to the blacksmith? I want it ready before the Almyrans come visit next month.” “…Why are you-?” “You know damn well why.” “Felix.”

“Well it seems you and I will get to call each other ‘brother’ soon enough, Artemis! Or well, hopefully soon enough. It depends on how long it takes our stubborn siblings to take those final steps.” “Agreed. But I’ve already thought of you as my brother for a long time now, Zain. We’ve known each other for so many years! Your one of my dearest friends and my brother in all but blood. :)” “…” “??? Zain, are you crying-?” “*sobs* NO, I’m not!”

#submission #anon #fraldarddyd family au #oooOOOOO IM IN LOVE WITH THIS..... IVE BEEN REREADING A LOT WHILE IT SSAT IN MY INBOX!!#my fave parts: ares betraying natalia (LMAO OMG I KINDA JUST. DIED)#zain and artemis' letters are fantastic and i love watching the Journey #and ofc natalia and faris' developing relationship bc guess who DIED whilst reding it!!!#by the end i had my head in my hands!!! they are so sweet..... i CARE THEM.....#and ofc dima and felix in the bg..... good dads. sword ready dad in felix's case #but good dads all the same #anyway pls understand that i adore this #so much WHEW #i am going to bed CONTENT tonight!!#ty so much anon i owe u my life...

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