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sjyuns · 8 months

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WAY BACK HOME ┆ A SIM JAEYUN ONESHOT

BREAKING NEWS! the friendly neighbourhood superhero spider-man has been caught trying to swing into a girl’s heart — but why is he failing miserably?! is this the spider-man we all know and love? or has our hero lost his spark?

or in which sim jaeyun asks you, his best friend out, forgetting that he was still in his spider-man suit.

GENRE! best friends to lovers, mutual pining, extremely groundbreaking embarrassing pick up lines, my missed hit at being a comdeian, jaeyun being jaeyun ( ie a hot loser ),

CAUTION! idiots in love, two timing ( but they’re the same person ), kissing, love, mentions of weapons and fighting crime, bad pickup lines, embarrassment for sim jaeyun, both reader and jaeyun are nineteen in this fic

WORDCOUNT! 5100

MIKAELA’S! hey everyone, this is the first ever oneshot i’m posting on my shiny new blog! please feel free to leave feedback through reblogs or asks! hope you enjoy jake embarrassing the soul out of himself🫶 i love sim jaeyun so much ( too much it’s embarrassing tbh ) this is the last of my old drafts, sorry for the spam!

playlist ⟡ way back home — shaun ⟡ forever only — jaehyun ⟡ pov — ariana grande ⟡ daylight — taylor swift

i. with great power comes a platter of hot embarrassment

“With great power comes great responsibility,” is what Spider-Man once said in an interview with The Daily Times, the most widely read newspaper company in all of Seoul.

It’s so out of character of Sim Jaeyun that he himself wonders what exactly went through his mind at that given time to blurt out such a philosophical quote — especially when he was having the bad urge to take a piss at that very moment.

But whatever it was: he needs it to return now, because he’s standing in front of you, his best friend, and he thinks that now's the chance; to finally ask you out after saving you.

Unfortunately Sim Jaeyun is out of luck, like he always is with you, because nothing but five utterly embarrassing words come out of his mouth.

“You tingle my spidey senses.”

You choke back a laugh as you stare at the masked superhero, amused at his sudden pick-me-up. “Are you rizzing me up, mister friendly neighbourhood hero?”

It seems like too much thinking has altered the already broken thought process in Sim Jaeyun’s brain, because it is only now that he registers that he’s still in his Spider-Man suit, and you don’t have a single clue that he’s Spider-Man.

“Uh, I mean-” but he’s cut off by the roaring cheer of the gathered public, who have their phones out and recording.

“Don’t back down, Spider-Man,” a citizen calls out, and Jaeyun thinks it’s far too late to back out now, because not only will it crush his ego, you might think Spider-Man isn’t as cool as he seemed to be.

“Would you let me swing into your heart- I mean, could we” he pauses, “could we hang out sometime?”

You smile, and it makes Jaeyun frown slightly under his mask, because he knows that smile — it’s the polite one, the one you use in a slightly uncomfortable situation, as if you didn’t want to embarrass the popular superhero standing in front of you at the moment.

“Sure,” you grin, pearly whites on display, “could I bring my best friend Jaeyun though? He’s a big fan.” It’s him, he thinks, he’s the Jaeyun you’re talking about. And his heart skips a beat at your thoughtful action.

“Okay! Tomorrow, here, five in the evening,” he says in excitement without a second thought. You’ve just agreed to go out on a date with him, and he’s too drunk in love to think about how he’s going to meet you as Spider-Man without telling you his identity.

He shoots a web up and swings after shouting an elated “see you, yn,” in the air. All too caught up in you to realise the three critical mistakes he’d made.

ONE. He never asked for your name as Spider-Man

TWO. There’s no way he could ever go on a date with his suit on in public

THREE. How in the fucking world is he going to a date with you as both Spider-Man and Sim Jaeyun?

Sim Jaeyun spends the whole night twisting and turning in his bed, mind in a flurry as he tries to think of the smartest way to solve these problems.

And it doesn’t help him when his phone pings with a new message from you.

Guess who just bagged us a hang out with Spider-Man tomorrow!

Don’t wear that Spider-Man suit or I swear to god I will not bring you to see him.

He sighs as he presses hard on the power button of his phone, staring blanking at the black screen. Fuck power or responsibility, he thinks, all he wants is his best friend’s heart, is that too much to ask for?

ii. man up, spidey-boy!

“BREAKING NEWS! Spider-Man spotted trying to swing into a girl’s — who supposedly goes by the name yn, heart. And after failing miserably at the first try, he succeeded on the second. Spidey may be a hero who saves lives, but it seems like he might have to take up what youngster’s call ‘rizz’ classes.”

The wide billboard screen casts a video taken by a bystander as the announcer's voice blared into the main junction of the city.

Jaeyun groans as he hangs his head low, adjusting the baseball cap perched on top of his head to cover his face. Not like anyone knew he was Spider-Man, no, but it was just far too embarrassing for him.

He hears you before he sees you, your voice is illegally sweet as it causes a smile to appear on his face amidst all of the stress. “Jaeyun!” You call, “you’re unusually late,” and Jaeyun groans, blaming it on the lack of sleep he had gotten last night, “Spider-Man isn’t here yet.”

Right, Spider-Man. Jaeyun still hasn’t found a solution to that.

His suit is tucked safely in the bottom of his bag, just in case. But for now, Jaeyun thinks it’s a better decision to disappoint you as Spider-Man instead of as your best friend. Besides, he hasn’t missed a single hang out session with you, and he isn’t ever planning to.

“Do you think he’s actually going to come?” You ask, head tilting in question and eyes soft, and Jaeyun wonders if he actually underestimated how much you liked Spider-Man, misunderstood that seemingly polite smile you gave him yesterday — should he have came as Spider-Man instead?

“Uhm,” he pauses, hesitant to squash your expectations, “how about we go first? I’m sure Spider-Man will swing by, it seems like he likes you a lot.” And even though he was talking about himself, he couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy bubbling in him at the thought of another boy liking you.

“Right,” you say, giving him a smile that makes his heart melt, “I guess it’s just us, like it always is.” Your fingers wrap around his, “I like it like this.” You mutter softly, yet in the buzz of the city square, Jaeyun catches the whisper of your voice, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“Plus, if I ever need, you can be my Spider-Man — whip out that fake suit of yours. You have his physique anyway, and your pick up lines are just as idiotic as his. Maybe even more idiotic.”

Jaeyun lets out a loud laugh, one that’s of melodious dreams, and it causes a few pedestrians to stare but he doesn’t care, not when you’re next to him, asking him to be your very own Spider-Man. And he agrees immediately, all too ready to put on the ‘fake’ red and blue suit just for you.

He’s a little amused that you still believe that he’s a hardcore fan of Spider-Man, because the only time you’ve caught him wearing that very suit was two years ago, when you coincidentally entered his room to see him in a Spider-Man suit without a mask.

And he still remembers your accusations of him being a fanboy, asking him if dressing up as his idol was what he did in his free time. Jaeyun was way too flustered to even explain himself, and letting you know that he was the real Spider-Man never even crossed his mind as he bashfully nodded to your words.

But it wasn’t like you ever laughed at him about it, though you did tease him. You would still buy him different types of Spider-Man merchandise, ranging from Spider-Man socks to a custom Spider-Man mug with the words ‘Spider-Man loves Jaeyun’ in bold red.

With every gift given, came an opportunity to reveal his identity. Yet Sim Jaeyun never seizes it, he refuses to, because he finds it so endearing — the way you have the proudest smile on your face as you give him merchandise of himself that he has never seen before, the way you send him a picture of every single Spider-Man related thing you see on the streets.

“Right,” he nods as he gazes adoringly at you, “forget the real Spider-Man, I’ll swing into your heart.” And the giggle you let out once again makes his knees weak — he thinks the smile plastered on your face is much more genuine than the one he saw yesterday.

And he wants to kiss you so bad, tell you exactly how much he likes you, loves you. This familiar feeling that has settled comfortably at the bottom of his heart and back of his mind for the past four years, has only grown and never dwindled. It was times like this, where he didn’t feel the burden of having to be alert about ongoing crime.

Only with you can he feel like Sim Jaeyun — a lovesick nineteen year old and not Spider-Man, the hero of Seoul.

“Jaeyun, what do you want to do first?” You ask, pulling him through the blaring fun of the amusement park. He hums, following behind your excited figure, letting you choose what you wanted to do. “Oh my god, look it’s a Spider-Man toy.”

You halt in your step and immediately turn towards him, eyes sparkling. “Do you want it Jaeyun? I’ll get it for you. Just so you aren’t too sad that Spider-Man ghosted us today.”

He scoffs, as he examines the booth. It’s a shooting game, and he knows that you suck at shooting. “You sure, love? From what I remember, you aren’t too good at shooting games,” he brings up and you shoot him a sharp glare before pestering him to pay the vendor.

You end up blaming your best friend for jinxing you, “Yun, if you never said that, I could have shot them all down,” you complain, eyes morphing into slits as you pinpoint the blame on him. Jaeyun raises his two hands in innocence, face displaying an expression of shock, “I didn’t even say anything wrong, plus you barely hit one out of five balloons.”

You groan, shushing him in embarrassment, “If you’re such a professional, win it for me then,” you challenge him. Jaeyun shrugs, it’ll be easy — all those years of shooting webs has made him extremely sharp, so he manages to shoot all the five balloons without any effort, snagging the coveted Spider-Man doll.

“You sure you don’t want it, Yun?” you question, “add it to your collection as a fanboy.” He shakes his head, handing you the plush toy, “I won it for you. Plus, I like the ones you gave me more.”

It overwhelms you, the stark sincerity in his voice. And you feel the sudden need to kiss him, not like you’ve never thought of it before (more like you’ve thought about it too much), because Sim Jaeyun with his bright personality and handsome face is far too good to be real.

But you can’t bring yourself to be that direct, so you settle for a kiss on the cheek. A quick movement and a short peck before you let out a loud giggle, walking over to the next booth with a stupid smile plastered on your face, leaving Jaeyun in shock and awe — eyes wide and mouth agape before he bites back a smile.

He thinks it’s too hard to conceal his feelings any longer; that he has to tell you soon, next week, tomorrow, or maybe even now. And he feels the three words, eight letters, at the tip of his tongue.

As always, though, he swallows them back down, throat dry as he stares at you. The fear of rejection far too intense for him to handle.

How ironic, that Sim Jaeyun could fight criminals with equipped daggers that could kill him in one swift motion, yet he could not say three simple words to a girl who has pierced his heart and filled his stomach with butterflies.

iii. in a sticky predicament

“Now on to our very own Spider-Man’s upcoming love story that seems to be wilting by the looks of it — Spidey, in fact, did not show up to his date with yn, who was seen with another boy at the amusement park. Our very own hero is facing multiple accusations that he may be, like his representative colour, a red flag. However, a minority of fans have brought up a speculation; that the boy we call Spider-Man, might be the very boy accompanying yn yesterday unmasked. That’s all for Spider-Man, here on The Daily News.”

“Don’t you think that’s insane Jaeyun?” you laugh, throwing your head back into the soft pillow on his bed, “they think you’re Spider-Man.”

“Right,” he trails on, arms crossed as he leans on the doorframe, “that’s so impossible.”

His laugh awkward as his fingers find themselves combing through his hair for the nth time. And you turn your head, looking at him with suspicion. Right, that’d be crazy, insane maybe, you think, because Sim Jaeyun was well — him. He’s slightly awkward, likes physics, and hell he’s scared of bugs, so it’ll be mind blowing if he ever was the real Spider-Man.

But impossible, you think, might not be true. And you sit up on the edge of the bed, eyes trained on him. Same physique, similar height, he’s athletic, and he shoots well. Plus, from your ever so short encounter with Spider-Man saving you from getting your wallet stolen, Spider-Man is just as awkward as your best friend.

Could he really be Spider-Man? But he’s a fan of Spider-Man, wouldn’t it be weird if he was such a big fan of himself. Still, you couldn’t rule out the possibility.

“Jump,” you instruct, “hang upside down on the walls.” Jake is shocked, as his heart accelerates in nervousness at the thought of being found out.

“Don’t be weird,” he groans, trying to keep calm, “that’s literally humanly impossible.” His mind racing, finding a way to get out of this sticky situation, because as much as he wants to tell you his identity, the last way he wanted you to find out was through the internet. Also, maybe because you looked slightly angry, with your eyebrows furrowed and hands on your head, and Jaeyun didn’t want you to be mad at him.

You were deep in thought, was that why Spider-Man didn’t show up yesterday — because he is actually Sim Jaeyun, and he couldn’t be there as two different people.

That might be a stretch, but it isn’t an impossible scenario. You tilt your head, quickly grabbing the pillow you were just lying on, throwing it at him, “catch.”

He catches it easily, with one hand even, as his face contorts into an expression of surprise. “Don’t scare me like that, love,” he says. But you’re too flabbergasted at the fast reflexes of your best friend to even comprehend his complaint.

“You could really give Spider-Man a run for his money, you know?” you chuckle, as you tell yourself that no matter how much it might fit, it’s probably just a coincidence, “put on that suit of yours and fight crime.” It was all a coincidence, right?

“What if I’m scared of getting hurt,” he pouts, and you snort. With Sim Jaeyun’s level of cowardice, there’s no way he could ever be out there fighting.

“Then I’ll protect you,” you say, “I’ll be your sidekick, all you have to do is stand there and look pretty.”

He grins, walking over to stand in front of you; hands moving to ruffle your hair. “Okay love, you lead, I’ll follow.”

iv. tell him to grow a pair

Your newfound popularity brings you more drawbacks than benefits — by that you mean the sudden fury of boys approaching you to ask for your number. It annoys Jaeyun more than it does you, as your best friend flaunts a new irritated look that you’ve rarely seen.

“That’s the sixth fucking boy,” he grumbles, eyes rolling before he glares at the fleeting figure of Lee Heeseung, the boy who just asked you for your number, the boy who Jaeyun lashed out at.

“Be kind, Yun,” you chuckle, amused at your best friend’s sudden grumpiness, “I mean, I’ve never lashed out at any of the girl’s who ask you out.”

“No one has asked me out.” he groans, “are you flaunting right now?”

“Yes I am,” you reply, “don’t worry Jaeyun, you’ll always be my loser.”

He lets out a loud exaggerated sigh as he rolls his eyes, leaning against the locker as he grits his teeth in exasperation.

You wonder why no girl has ever hit Sim Jaeyun up. Granted, he wasn’t the best looking guy back in middle school with his choice of brightly coloured clothes that blinded eyes, but you think that was part of the appeal — how awkwardly adorable he was. Now, with his upgraded fashion style and bubbly personality, it’s a miracle no one has tried their shot at bagging him. Not that you wanted anyone to.

Sim Jaeyun is yours, just as much as you are his.

And he thinks the exact same. Despite what you think, he has had a girl approach him, professing his love only to get turned down by his puppy-like smile and his confession that he liked you.

Though his body exudes jealousy, there's a slight bit of relief at the fact that you turned all six of the boys down, telling them that you had a crush on someone else. He hopes, prays, begs that the person you think about is him. He furiously looks for a sign, because he’s tired of all this, and he needs a sign from you before he can courageously make the first move.

After school, the both of you walk down the buzzing streets with carts of street food lined up along the roadside. Your fingers bunching the fabric of Jaeyun’s shirt as he navigates the both of you through the crowded streets, making a beeline for his favourite churros shop.

“I told you the queue would be long, it’s Friday night,” you whine, mentally counting the number of people in front of you. Fifteen, that’ll take a while. “We should have just ordered in pizza and binge on Netflix shows.”

“Fine, we can eat churros another day,” Jaeyun pouts and you curse yourself for saying that even when you knew he wanted to eat churros.

“It’s fine, we can stay, since we’re already here.” You stop him, pulling him back beside you in the queue, “but you can’t leave to do something else like last time, you have to wait with me.”

The glow on his face coupled with the adorable smile on his lips makes you stare in awe. And you think Sim Jaeyun is so pretty and handsome all at once it’s a crime to look as good as him. His lips, god, they look so kissable and soft, you wish you could kiss them at any given time — now, tomorrow, forever.

But the moment doesn’t last long, as faint screams and shouts travel from a small corner shop down the road. “Thief, there’s a thief on the run.”

You watch as Jaeyun’s eyes widen, body in a sudden scramble, “uhm, I’m gonna go to the toilet for a moment,” he says amidst the whispers of the crowd, “stomach ache, you know.” Running off before you can give him a reply, brushing past people hurriedly into a random narrow street.

You shrug it off again because it isn’t the first time Jaeyun has acted out of character. However, you can’t help but realise it was always when there was crime.

The questions and suspicions floating around your head for the past week resurface as you focus on the narrow street your best friend had disappeared into.

Oh my god.

You blink profusely, pinch yourself, and rub your eyes because this is mind blowing information. You can’t seem to believe an ounce of what your eyes have just seen. Was that Spider-Man who just swung out of the very same alleyway?

Sim Jaeyun is Spider-Man. And your conclusion only seems to solidify as you hear the muffled voice coming out of his masked persona.

“Oops, sorry,” and a careless swing as he tries his best to manoeuvre through the crowd, accidentally knocking over a little girl’s ice cream cone, “I'm sorry, please don’t cry.”

Yup, that’s Jaeyun. His voice now so familiar you hit yourself in the head for not realising sooner. And his utterly helpless tone as he tries to soothe the little girl — you could recognise it from a mile away.

“I’ll get you a new one, I’m sorry,” he shouts as he spins his web and shoots again, lamppost to windows to signboards before effortlessly catching up with the thief; who was now bound to the wall by web.

“Sorry,” he groans for the fourth time in a matter of minutes, “it’s my job — i mean, not that you deserve to get away no, i just-” he rambles and you giggle at his comment. Seems like Sim Jaeyun will never change, even as a superhero or as your best friend.

“I meant to say, justice has been served,” he nods, seemingly proud of his awkward catchphrase that you were sure he stole from the superhero movie you watched with him a few weeks back. “I have to get back now, someone awaits me you know - i mean, no- I’m not supposed to give details of my personal life. I’ll just- stop talking… yeah.”

And you watch again as he swings back down the street. With his identity revealed, you can’t help but look up to Jaeyun even more now — a top student and a superhero? How unfair the world is. How lucky you were to have him as your best friend.

“Hey! Aren’t you yn? Spider-Man, is that your girl?” You shrink, head down as you fix your gaze on the floor immediately, cheeks a rosy red. God, you think, this is a little embarrassing.

You feel his presence before you see his shadow morphing with yours on the floor, “hey yn,” and you look up to see the superhero, who’s panting ever so slightly, stand in front of you in his glory. “Sorry about last week, I was well busy, and I know it isn’t any-”

“It’s fine,” you stop him from blabbering, a toothy grin plastered on your face. And Jaeyun feels proud, maybe him saving someone has put Spider-Man back into your good graces, maybe he has a chance with you as Spider-Man.

“I had fun with my crush at the amusement park. Actually, thank you for the opportunity, I kissed his cheek for the first time and it felt like heaven.”

He pauses, and Jaeyun wants to rip off his mask at the very moment to kiss you. You liked him back, fuck, you actually liked him back.

“Ah,” he says after a while of tense silence, his hands rubbing the nape of his neck, “that’s amazing. So- do you… I mean- so you’re like, in love with him? Wait love might be a little uhm-”

“Yeah, I’m in love with him.”

Time stops as your eyes pierce into his, and he can swear at this moment that you knew exactly who he was. He thinks it’s over, and he can finally ask you to be his — because he’s hellbent on loving you, for the past four years he has been.

“Seems like this crush of yours needs to step up his game, or I might just steal you away,” he remarks lightheartedly, uncaring of the sea of cameras pointing towards the both of you.

“Yeah, it seems like he does. Maybe you should visit him one day, tell him that it’s about time to man up, or I’ll be the one asking for his hand.” You shoot a knowing glance at him, a confident smirk on your face.

Jaeyun chuckles, “right, I’ll be sure to tell him that, wouldn’t want him to lose such a special girl.”

“Thanks Spidey, I wonder what I’d ever do without you,” you laugh, patting his suited shoulder before he once again swings away into the narrow alleyway, only to appear minutes later donned in his usual faded ripped jeans and white shirt, hair tousled and smile wide as he runs back to you.

And he’s before you all again, this time as your best friend and you swoon as his adoring eyes and elated smile. “You okay?” You ask, hand raising to fix his hair.

“I couldn’t be better.”

v. Batman vs Spider-Man, a battle of the mans

“Spider-Man should now change his name into wing man as he is spotted once again, engaging in conversation with the very same yn from last week. Spider-Man was not only ruthlessly dumped by her, but was also asked to quote on quote visit her crush to ask him to grow a pair. Seems like she is off the market for our poor lonely superhero, who can’t seem to catch anyone except for criminals. That’s all for Spider-Man, here on The Daily News.”

“Seems like you can’t catch a break, huh Yun?” You point out as you switch the television off, “not only defamed into a wing man but also asked to grow a pair.”

And it seems like he really can’t because ever since you confronted him about being Spider-Man, his days have been filled with even more ruthless teasing, and weird questions.

“How do you even piss as Spider-Man?”

“Can I swing from building to building?”

“Can you hang upside down for ten minutes?”

“How do you think you would fare against Batman in a fight?”

But there’s one unasked question still hanging in the air. And Jaeyun really wants to address it, but it seems like you’ve lost your confidence by the way the flesh of your cheeks heats an angry red at any slight hint of him being your crush — or as Jaeyun would like to call himself; your soon to be boyfriend.

“I’ve grown a pair,” he says, shifting towards you, eyes trained on yours, “seems like someone has lost a pair.”

“Have not” you argue, lies — you could barely look at Jaeyun now without a lovesick smile on your face. Neither could you muster up the courage to ask him to be your boyfriend. “And if you ever grew a pair, you would have asked.”

“Ask what?” He teases, face moving closer to yours. He looks too good, godly almost, with his black rimmed glasses perched at the bridge of his nose.

You pout, furrowing your eyebrows as you place a light slap on the middle of his chest. And he lets out a low chuckle, the vibrant sun rays flush through the sheer day curtains of Jaeyun’s room, a natural spotlight glowing on the both of you.

“Fine,” he whispers, and you can feel his breath on your lips, it’s warm and inviting and you feel yourself leaning into him. “Will you be my girlfriend, love?”

You barely nod your head before he attaches his lips on yours. And you think you’re going to be obsessed with Sim Jaeyun — your fingers find their way through his hair and he sighs. It’s like he’s imprinted in your heart and you want to kiss him again and again and again.

Sim Jaeyun with pretty eyes, pretty lips, a pretty face, a pretty being, breaks the kiss only to kiss you again and again as you wish.

“Did I swing into your heart, love?” He smirks as you playfully roll your eyes at his antics. “Are we not going to bring up the time when you fell after showing me your web skills?”

He tackles you down and you giggle, “I can fall from the sky, I can fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is to fall in love with you.” He grins idiotically before racing out the door as you cringe at yet another bad pick up line from him.

“Sim Jaeyun, are you kidding me? I wonder how you even make up quotes like ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ with that mind of yours.”

“What mind? You mean my mind — the place where you always are?”

You groan in fake disgust as you watch your boyfriend (boyfriend!) smile proudly at his idiotic pick up lines. The both of you drinking sunlight as if it’s love — where he’s all yours and you’re all his.

uncut. confessions i can’t make ( a crumpled confession letter written by a sixteen year old sim jaeyun )

hi dear yn,

i like you. it’s been a while since you took my breath away we first met. this is my first time ever writing a confession so i don’t really know what to say write… i guess it’s like writing physics notes so maybe it wouldn’t be too hard i hope

chapter one part one : what i like about you

i like the way you smile laugh, how your eyes turn into the tiniest of crescents, it makes me proud of the jokes i crack (that physics joke was good was it not). i like the feeling i have around you — it’s warm and fuzzy, natural — talking everyday without any forceful conversation, laughs or attention.

part two : why you should like me

i think you should like me because i like you. i think you should like me because i’m smart! i can help you with physics and maths. i don’t really know what else i can give you but i’ll try my best to make you smile everyday.

will you be my girlfriend? Oh god, this is so weird i actually like you a lot and

(a bunch of scribbling)

forget it. you’ll never like me back.

dear mister sim jaeyun,

after three hours of fighting for my life, i have finally gotten my hands on the most treasured item of the year, a sixteen year old you’s crumpled confession letter to me. and since you wrote it in a physics notes style like a loser, as your girlfriend i have no choice but to follow you (so that you don’t feel lonely)

one. what i like about you

everything. i like your hair, i like your face. I like the way you say sorry to every single person in the neighbourhood while courageously saving them. i like your pick up lines on some days and how you have the guts to challenge Batman to a fight when i proclaim him as my favourite hero. i like the way you laugh and i like the way you smile. i am especially enchanted by your kicked puppy ways and easily manipulated demeanour where i can always get what i want without question.

two. why you should like me

i’m your girlfriend and you’re my girlfriend. (you are my girlfriend) you should stop staring at me with those eyes, it gives me the ick (i meant that in a ‘whatever you say pretty boy’ kind of way) you should like me because i am the person who likes you the most. (i love you so much)

will i be your girlfriend? obviously i will, i mean who can say no to you.

love you babe,

spider-man’s (your) hot sidekick

#⪩⪨ mikaela's #enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fluff #enhypen soft hours #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen oneshots #sim jaeyun #enhypen jake #jake x reader #enhypen jake x reader #jake fluff #jaeyun fluff #jake imagines #enhypen jake imagines #jaeyun imagines #jaeyun x reader

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hyunjinspark · 8 months

Text

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 16

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au, star-crossed lovers

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him. there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

word count: 25K

warnings: cursing, drinking, mutual pining, mostly just a lot of angst, yn is insanely in love its actually a lot, making out, jealousy, grinding, hyunjin is a little mean, sexual tension, tons of new characters, a lot of coincidences, mature content, angst

a/n: soo hyunjin dropped contradicting and somehow it's absolutely perfect for this chapter. this part does also have undertones of 'love untold' in it too, and im very excited to finally be writing the city arc! this was a long time coming and i really hope you enjoy it. theres tons of angst in this so im sorry about that. please get comfortable with snacks and a blanket to read. you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

The girl next to him was pretty, in a timeless Marilyn Monroe kind of way. She had striking features, and even from this little interaction you knew her face would be burned into your memory. She was standing next to Hyunjin so simply, as if that wasn’t a place that you had been pining for all these months.

Her hand rested on the small of his back, animated eyes as she talked to him. Even now, he looked as good as the day he left. The trench coat fit his body just right, and he was so much taller than everyone else in this shop. His hair had grown longer in your absence and chocolate strands brushed his shoulders.

The last time you saw him, he kissed you until your lips were bruised, and his pants were stained with cum.

Right now… he was pretending like you didn’t even exist.

The woman looked over her shoulder, eyes meeting yours briefly as if she’d felt your burning gaze. You ought to be embarrassed that you were caught staring, yet you stood your ground. You expected a sneer, but she smiled at you — the polite kind of smile you give strangers as you pass them in the street — before turning to him again.

Monstrous curiosity clawed at your chest, gut turning in envy. She reached into her purse, an expensive-looking red bag that you couldn’t afford in any lifetime, and pulled out a black credit card. Before she could hand it into the cashier though, Hyunjin’s arm reached out, stopping her. He was touching her now, if only so briefly, but a wave of debilitating nausea overcame you. You could hear him saying, “Please, let me get this”

You were all the way across the store, but you’d be able to hear him among a million voices. The familiarity of his kindness pulled at your heartstrings.

The woman didn’t protest, probably because Hyunjin was the biggest star in this city, and he could afford anything he wanted, and everything she could ask for.

“That art building is just a few blocks down from here. I can tell you the way. It’s pretty easy” The boy you’d asked for help said. He had an employee uniform on, and a silver name tag that read “Jae”.

You’d quickly forgotten your purpose for being out and about in the streets of Seoul. You’d come here for a reason, to have a glimpse at the building you’d be studying at, the place you’d been dreaming of. Yet…you’d never longed for something as much as you did for Hyunjin.

“Yeah, um, thank you” You mumbled half-heartedly, eyes still on Hyunjin, “Can you just…give me a minute?”

It was rude of you to ask for help but not take it, only because you were distracted by a boy. “Sure, uh…take your time” The employee stepped away, not really caring about your internal drama.

Hyunjin’s back was still to you. You’d been worried about why you couldn’t contact him this entire time. A part of you was relieved; if he was here that meant he was okay, even after disappearing entirely off the grid.

He grabbed the paper bag they’d purchased, a blue cereal box peeking out, threatening to topple. It didn’t fit in the bag, but he made no effort to fix it. He didn’t seem too involved in the task. They had finished bagging their snacks, and that meant they’d leave.

There was nobody in the shop anymore, except you and them. A black car was parked just outside. It was probably his. Once he got in the car…he’d be far away from you, down a thousand identical streets and hidden between skyscrapers you’d never find him in. There were ten million people in this city. How would you ever find him again? You had no fucking way of contacting him.

He walked past where you stood in the aisle, and your pulse was pounding in your ears, tunnel vision shielding everything else.

You’d been searching for him this entire time…you couldn’t just let him walk away.

It was now or never.

He pushed the door open, and outside air swirled in.

It snapped you into action.

“Hyunjin?” Your voice wavered, and it wasn’t loud enough for this city. Your plea was drowned amongst sirens, traffic and noise.

But he stopped walking, shoulders tensing.

He heard you.

Hurriedly, you stepped towards him, navigating through the messy snacks aisle. Your hands were shaking, and you pushed them into your jacket pockets to hide that. The effect he had on you was embarrassing, even at such a time.

“Can I just talk to you for a second?” You asked, hoping you didn’t sound as desperate or nervous as you felt.

He turned around to look at you, and his knuckles were white from how tight he was gripping their bags. The grocery must be heavy, and even in a circumstance like this, you worried for him. His gaze on you was unrecognizable. It was almost like it wasn’t really him at the moment…as if he’d been replaced by a carbon copy, which was colder and meaner, and didn’t feel anything for you.

His eyes zeroed in on you, and you suddenly felt so conscious. You wish you’d dressed up better, instead of this dull, beige coat you picked off a thrift shop back home. This was the first he was seeing you after months, and you weren’t prepared. You shot him a smile. Quick and rough, and forced, but a smile nonetheless.

He had to know you were happy to see him. Inside, you were screaming.

The girl at his side looked at you again, eyebrows raised in confusion. Her earlier politeness had worn off, and now she just looked bothered. Who even was this woman?

There’d be time for questions later though, because she pulled at his arm, “Come on. We’ll be late Hyunjin” Her tone had authority to it, a kind of tone you’d never used with him.

“Can we talk?” You repeated your question. The woman wrinkled her nose, and now that you really looked at her…she was much older than you. She had expensive taste, clearly, and an aura of confidence you could never possess.

Hyunjin’s mouth parted, and then closed again, like he was having trouble speaking. There was so much to say, after all. But even if he couldn’t talk right now, you’d be happy to just know if he was okay.

You wanted to ask him for his number, but you waited, giving him the time to say whatever was on his mind. There must be a lot on it. It had to be his company pulling the strings and making him cut off all contact with you. He had to have been forced somehow, because he wasn’t that kind of person.

The longer he said nothing, the dizzier you felt. The truth was becoming obvious. Maybe it wasn’t all that far-fetched to believe that he had cut you off….on purpose.

Your chest tightened impossibly, a horrible feeling building up in your gut. There were lines in his forehead, and guilt in his eyes. Your nails dug into your palms as you tightly clenched your fists, but you were numb to that pain.

But it had to be a misunderstanding, because Hyunjin would never do that to you, would he? In fact, he’d…never do that to anyone. He was far too kind to resort to something like complete radio silence.

“I’m sorry” He spoke.

Your knees almost gave out at his voice. You’d missed it so much, and your heart was catching up to your mind, to register what he said.

Sorry for what?

He swallowed hard, steely gaze meeting your confused one, “I’m sorry… I don’t have time for this”

Before you could even process those words, he had walked out into the cold night, leaving you standing in the stupid fucking store, all by yourself. That was all there was to it.

Maybe everything that you knew about Hyunjin was wrong.

»»————-

“I’m sorry. I can’t help you…you do not have authorisation to enter the building” The security guard repeated, for the third time that night, as if you needed any more humiliation right now.

Your cheeks were burning red, and you were trembling from the cold, “Please, he knows who I am. Just ask him”

He was visibly annoyed, “If you don’t have a visitor pass, you have to stay in the lobby, until the employee buzzes you in”

You tightened your coat around yourself, trying to reason, “I can’t get through to him. Just tell him I’m here. He’ll buzz me in, I swear”

He sighed, exasperated by your desperation. You were embarrassed, and shameful, but you didn’t know what else to do. If you went home now, you might cry till you threw up. You’d cry till it was dawn, and until you heard the morning traffic outside your apartment. The only thing stopping you from bawling right now was the watchful eyes of the people around you.

You’re numb inside. You’re so, so confused.

None of it makes any sense, but your brain hurts just thinking about it.

It was so late, everybody was leaving the building, and you were the only one trying to get in. A female employee was buzzing out, pushing through the turnstiles. She looked between you and the doorman, “Something wrong?”

The guard sighed, another indication of how less of a fuck he gave about you, “She says she knows an employee in the building, but she has no visitor pass”

You looked at her, “Can you please just tell him Y/N is here? He’ll understand”

Her gaze softened at the state of you, “What’s his name? I’ll see what I can do”

You told her… and then you waited.

It was embarrassing to be standing there as hundreds of employees exited, eyeing you up, wondering why you were just standing there. The longer it took for him to come, the shakier you felt. Like you’d lose grip of yourself. It was getting chillier, and your insides hurt.

Then you heard his voice. He basically yelled your name, rushing through the crowd of employees, a beeline straight to you, “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

He was like your angel — ashy blonde hair drifting against the air conditioning of the lobby, a red scarf wrapped around his neck. “Oh my god” You stepped ahead, but a silver turnstile separated you from touching him, “I tried calling you”

He placed his card against the scanner, opening the gate so you could enter. There was no time to explain. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around your body. That was the thing you loved about Yeonjun the most. Hug first, questions later.

You buried your face in his neck, squeezing him, “I’m so sorry for just showing up, I needed to see you, Jun”

He pulled back to look at you, “I’m sorry my phone was on silent. I was working on a report, and I lost track of time”

The security guard was looking at the two of you, and he probably assumed you were a couple. He probably thought you were lovers, and if you were…everything might just have been easier. Yeonjun’s eyes narrowed in on your puffy, swollen eyes, “Wait. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Heat rushed to your cheeks. Had you overreacted by coming here? He must think it’s an emergency. You musthave overreacted. Your instinct made you apologise, “I’m sorry for coming here like this…”

He shook that thought away like it was nothing, “Come on. We’ll just grab my stuff, and then we can head home, all right?”

You let him lead you to the staff elevator, and he held on tightly to you through it all, which you appreciated. You didn’t want to be alone right now. You observed the office building that Yeonjun worked at. “Your building is…fancy” You mumbled, but your voice was hoarse, and you couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm.

“Yeah” He chuckled, glancing back at you, “Most companies are pretty serious about the security. There’s been a lot of data breaches recently so…”

“It was embarrassing to face off that guard. I thought he’d arrest me or something…by the way he was staring”

Yeonjun laughed, “He’d never do that. He was probably just caught off guard by how pretty you look”

Your chest squeezed at his sudden compliment. You leaned forward, wrapping an arm around his stomach to indulge him in a back hug. It was a strange display of affection for the elevator. But Yeonjun said nothing of it, squeezing your arm, and craning his neck to smile at you.

“We’re here” He told you, and you stepped out into a quiet office floor. After a monotonous and mundane hallway with doors that all looked the same, you arrived at his cubicle. The floors were grey, the doors were dark, and the ceiling was industrial exposed. You’re not sure if this was the best place for comfort right now, but it was all you had. It was better than your empty, soulless apartment.

Yeonjun’s desk was cleaner than you expected, arranged with knick-knacks and clutter. A polaroid of you and him was pinned to the bulletin, next to one of him and Hana. Your eyes trailed across his entire workspace. There were only pictures of Hana.

You stilled.

“Um, I’m sorry. I still need to clean up” He muttered, ripping the polaroids off the wall, as if to show you that he didn’t care. But it was clear to you by how he carefully placed them inside the drawer. He was still in love with her.There was a lump in your throat at the realisation. He hadn’t told you that, and Yeonjun shared everything with you.

He shot you a sheepish smile, “I’m just gonna finish sending an email. You can sit down”

There was a single swivel chair at his desk. “What about you?” You asked.

“I’ve been meaning to get off my feet anyway” He smiled, as you sat down.

You felt like a kid, watching him send the emails, with nothing to do but sit in your thoughts. It was still better than being at home. Alone.

“Do you always work this late?” You asked him, after a while. There was nobody else on the floor.

He shook his head, “No…there was a problem at work, I had to stay longer to figure it out”

“Oh”

He forcefully pushed a button on his keyboard, then turned to you, “So are you going to tell me why you’re here?”

You swallowed, fiddling with the clutter on his desk, rehearsing what happened in your head, and every way sounded stupid. So you mumbled, “It’s not that…important, actually. I should head home”

Yeonjun shut his laptop with a snap. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the desk to look at you, “Come on. Was it not what you expected?”

“Hmm?”

“The art building. That’s why you went out tonight. Is it not as good as you imagined?”

“Oh” You belatedly realised that and held back a bitter laugh, “I didn’t even get to it”

“What? You couldn’t find it?”

“I found him, Jun” You mumbled, staring at your sneakers.

“Found who?” He asked, before the realisation sank in, “Wait, him… as in Hyunjin? How!?”

That was your question too. How did you bump into him out of everyone in this city?

“I…he happened to be at the store that I stopped to ask for directions”

Jun’s eyebrows furrowed, and he knelt to be at eye level with you, “What happened then?”

“He was with some girl”

Without hesitation he said, “His manager?”

Your lip was quivering as you spoke, but you couldn’t be this fucking weak, “Maybe. I don’t really know…”

“It had to be. Hyunjin wouldn’t do that to you”

His faith in him was undeniable, and you felt like you’d break his heart by revealing the rest of the incident to him.

“She probably was. It’s not that, Jun…he walked right past me…I couldn’t even talk to him”

Yeonjun shook his head, “Are you sure he saw you?”

You recalled the look in Hyunjin’s eyes as he dismissed you completely, and the pain in your chest doubled at the reminder, “He saw me.”

“You’re sure?”

You looked at him, eyes filling with tears, “I’m sure.”

Yeonjun recoiled like a shotgun, standing up straight, and you weren’t expecting the immediate anger in his tone, “Why the fuck would he do that?”

You chewed on your lip, hoping it’d stop shaking, wishing you knew the answer to his question, “I don’t know”

“He didn’t even give you his new number?”

A sob built up in your throat, and your head was beginning to pain, “You’re not listening. He ignored me to my face, Jun. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe it was something I said…all those months ago”

“You could never” He scoffed, “It was because of the woman he was with. Hyunjin’s probably not allowed to just talk to someone in public”

“You really think so?”

Yeonjun didn’t even look a little bit worried. He had his hands on his hips, “What else would it be, Y/N? He’d never ignore you. I don’t understand…”

You swallowed, trying to not cry, “Yeah. I just…had to see you. A few months ago, when his number changed, I was really hoping that when I came to the city, I could find him and fix things. There’s no way he’d do that on purpose. Of all people in the world, Hyunjin would never just cut me off without an explanation but…” You sniffled, “He wasn’t even happy to see me there. He just looked fucking disappointed. Like I made a mistake moving here, even though he all of people—” Your voice broke, “he, all of people knows how much I wanted to come here”

“Babe, please don’t cry” Yeonjun reached out, his thumb wiping away a tear. It was futile since you could already taste the salt on your lips.

This wasn’t what was supposed to happen, “He talked about how he missed me, I just don’t understand. Like, what even happened?”

“Come here” Yeonjun hugged you, and his t-shirt muffled your cries. He rubbed circles on your back, and you were thankful the floor was vacated, because you felt so stupid crying over a boy. Was Hyunjin even thinking about you right now? He had always hated seeing you cry, and now he was the entire reason for it.

You tightened your grip around him, “I’m sorry I’m ruining your tonight, Jun”

“Y/N” He frowned, pulling back to look at you, “Don’t ever say that again”

“Sorry…”

He looked upset and wiped the traces of tears off your lips, “Stop apologising too. This isn’t your fault”

You nodded, holding him still, “Can I please stay in your apartment tonight? I don’t want to go to my place right now”

He smiled, grabbing your bag off his desk, “I’ve told you before. You’ll always have a bed at my apartment, Y/N” He frowned suddenly, remembering something, “Um…I do have to warn you about something though…”

Maybe it was a mistake coming here. Right across Yeonjun’s apartment window, was a picture of Hyunjin. The billboard was huge, and he was plastered all over it. You almost didn’t recognise him at first. He looked like…a star.

His hair was perfectly in place, and sunglasses were pushed up to his head, like he was the protagonist of some action movie.

“You weren’t kidding about it being huge” You commented, watching from his bedroom.

He came to stand next to you, fiddling with the curtains, “I was hoping they’d change it soon, but Pegasus is pretty good at promoting the band. Downtown, they’re on almost every billboard”

At least now you knew you wouldn’t be going Downtown anymore. It was ironic that Hyunjin was everywhere in the city but out of reach for you. If that woman really was his manager, and he wasn’t allowed to even talk to you in public…then Hyunjin’s life was even tougher than you could have imagined.

Being famous must fucking suck, and being in love with someone famous was…soul-crushing.

“Anyway” He cleared his throat, “I ordered us some Chinese food”

You crossed your arms, you hadn’t realised you were starving, “Thank you, Jun…"

Yeonjun just smiled in return, leading you away from the bedroom window before pulling the curtains on the view. You were glad, because if he didn’t pull you away now, you’re afraid you’d stare at that picture for the rest of your life.

»»————-

The Atelier of the Arts was beautiful.

It was everything you could have imagined, and more. It’s where you’re supposed to spend the next two years of your life. The facade of the building was built almost entirely out of glass, resembling high-end universities you’d only seen in the movies. You felt minuscule in front of the scale and the grandeur of it. Being in Seoul for a few weeks now…you’d realised it was all about towering glass and steel structures, weaved in between all of the imperial history. You just wish you could appreciate it more right now.

A girl at the front desk thankfully told you where to go, and you carefully navigated the hallways until you were at the top floor.

You stared at what was meant to be your classroom. Sunlight cascaded through a transparent glass rooftop, casting a beautiful glow on the plants.

You only see green. There were plants of all kinds, flowers of every color and the air smelled sweet. It smelled citrusy, and like the drink Hyunjin made you on his last night.

The door was made of glass too, a brass knob sparkling against the sunlight.

You must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. This isn’t an art studio.

It’s a greenhouse.

Before you had time to retrace your steps, a girl interrupted you, “You’re not lost”

“I’m sorry?”

“Kim Jieong’s new student, right?” She asked, tilting her head at you.

You wonder what it is about you that gave you away. Was it the clothes? Or maybe it’s the bag you’re clutching tightly to your chest, sketchbook peeking out from within it. You’re joining in the middle of an ongoing semester, so you already stood out. “Yeah” You managed to say.

She smiled, proud to have got it correct, “You’re at the right place. The room’s just through there, after the hydrangeas. I’m going in now, if you wanna follow me”

She couldn’t be much older than you, and she’s so well put together.

Her accent was different, like she’s been born and bred in Seoul her whole life. She enunciated everything, frankly, in a way better to you. A denim skirt hung to her ankles, revealing Converse at her feet. Her hair was dirty blonde, tied up perfectly in place, and an amethyst choker sat at her collarbones.

You wonder if you’re underdressed on your first day of class. The creme cardigan you’re in is soft, and it’s comforting to your soul, but it’s not impressive. You found it in a thrift shop in Daejon; perhaps this is a sign you should go shopping here. You’re leading a new life, and you need clothes to match.

The girl was waiting for you to enter, but you’re not ready.

Kim Jieong has been your inspiration for as long as you can remember. He’s painted the most beautiful things known to you — expressing emotions you didn’t even know you had. The fact that he’s beyond those glass doors right now…you’re not ready. Yes…you’ve waited literally all your life, but you never thought it’d actually come to this. You wish you had someone to share this anticipation and excitement with, but all you have is your studio apartment, and its bare, dry walls. You’re trying to be positive, but somedays it feels impossible

A boy stepped through the elevator doors, and his eyes scrambled over your faded creme cardigan, and bag. You’re new here, and he’s clearly not. You can tell from the ease with which he carries himself, and by the way he looks like a picture-perfect rendition of an artist. If you searched “art student” on Pinterest, you’re pretty sure his picture would come up. He’s dressed in denim suspenders, expensive headphones hanging around his neck, paintbrushes tucked into his pockets.

“Hey” He smiled at you, “Are you… the student from Daejon?”

You nodded, holding your bag tighter on your shoulder, happy that he knew of your existence. You’d feared until the last minute that you getting in to the program had been another mess-up, and once you arrived…they’d tell you it was a mistake.

He tilt his head, “What’s your monogram?”

Your monogram. The initials you sign all your paintings with. You tell him your name, “Um…Y/N”

“Oh” He frowned, “I can’t remember if I’ve seen your work”

That’s because he hasn’t. You’ve never had a public exhibition, so how would he recognise you?

“Come on, you can get to know her later” The girl rolled her eyes at him, then looked at you, “Are you coming in…or are we going to chat here the rest of today?”

They didn’t tell you their names, even though you just told them yours. You should ask, but wouldn’t that come off too eager?

“Yeah. Sure” You forced a smile at her, and the girl’s face softened at that. It’s like she wasn’t expecting you to do that, like she expected you to be soulless and cold.

Tentatively, you stepped through the glass door, into the greenhouse-cum-studio. It’s like stepping in a fairytale, navigating through all the plants that jut out, magnificent fantastical flowers you haven’t seen even in the countryside. You reached out and touched a purple flower, the petals are coarse but the flower looked so soft.

You were walking on a metal walkway, a bridge over a little artificial stream. It reminded you so much of Daejon, it’s kind of funny that you’re actually thousands of miles away.

“Crazy place for a classroom, right?” The boy laughed. It’s like he read your mind.

You nodded, “I thought I was at the wrong place”

“You’ll get used to it” The girl looked over her shoulder to tell you. You’re standing between them, as they escort you to your class.

“The hydrangeas” She muttered, pointing to a set of purple flowers as you pass them.

As if stepping into Narnia, the plants suddenly cleared up, revealing a room. It’s big, and there’s an assortment of chairs, tables, easels, shelves, and paint. There’s so much to take in. You watched with wide eyes, and the boy laughed.

“It’s cool, right?” He asked you.

“Yeah” You breathed, “You could say that”

There were already a few students sitting at their easels, but they were too distracted setting up their paints to look up and notice you.

“Um, what are your names?” You ended up asking. Fuck being eager.

“I’m Minnie and that’s Jeonghan” She told you.

“No, I’m Nate. Nobody calls me Jeonghan except my mum” He rolled his eyes.

“Nate” You repeated, “Are you—”

“American? Yes he is, and feel free to call him Jeonghan…” Minnie finished your sentence, as she walked over to her easel.

He laughed, “I moved back to Korea a few years ago to study”

The room filled with people within seconds. There are not too many of you, just twenty, it’s an exclusive program after all. You looked around at the people who are supposed to be your classmates for the next few years. They all looked a little older than you and like they know their way around everything.

There’s only one unmarked empty stool in the corner, and it must be yours. After all, this internship was so exclusive, there wasn’t any space for extras. You took your place, opening up your supplies onto the little table. The stool was comfortable and had a plush back, so you wouldn’t kill your back when you were painting. It was already infinitely better than your set-up at home.

Minnie and Jeonghan took their places too, settling into a comfortable rhythm. Your other classmates greeted them with big smiles, but obviously…they didn’t look at you.

You’d never moved a day in your life, so this was unfamiliar — not knowing anyone in the room, and everything being new. But change was supposed to be good, right? You’d grown tired of stagnation, and so you’d chased this. Perhaps you could try conversing with the girls next to you, but where would you even start? They all knew each other from before. Why would they want to talk to a stranger?

A girl was giggling, settling into her chair, with two other friends, and they were teasing her about something but you don’t know the context. There was a cute boy across from you, and he was setting up his paints. He had earphones in, and was humming to the beat of an unknown song. He glanced up at you absentmindedly, but when your eyes met, your heart stung.

You were trying desperately to not think of Hyunjin.

But you’ve only been here for five minutes and you see Hyunjin in everything around you.

He would fall in love with this place — with the sunlight hitting the wooden boards, with how open it was, and he would probably know the name of every flower here. After all, he had to know to put them in pretty drinks to give to girls like you.

A student sitting opposite you had bleached hair, and she pulled it up into a bun and you thought of him again. Nothing could compare how it felt to card your fingers through his hair, and tug at it when he kissed you. You’d braided it back in his room, and it had been so soft to the touch, slipping through your fingers like sand.

“Hey” Someone tapped on your shoulder, and you pulled yourself out of the hopeless trench of daydreaming about him. You noticed her chunky platform boots first, and then you looked up at her, “Uh, hey”

“You’re the girl from the south?”

It was heartwarming that she started the conversation with you. You smiled, “Yeah. I’m from Daejon—”

“You’re in my spot”

“Sorry?”

“That’s my spot” She repeated, pointing at your seat.

“Oh” You realised. You’d already opened up your bag of supplies so you hurriedly grabbed your sketchbook, shoving it in your tote bag carelessly. Your paintbrushes dropped in the process, rolling off the table, and you wanted to die. Was it possible to be such a fucking cliche and embarrass yourself like this on the first day of class?

The girl made no move to help you, but you shouldn’t expect her to either. You stood up, holding the bag to your chest, and realised you had no place to sit anymore.

Before you could panic about the situation, someone else in the room caught your attention.

Kim Jieong was here.

He was standing in the centre, and you don’t know how the fuck you didn’t notice him until now. He must have just come in.

You stood starstruck, at the worst time possible. He was in a beanie, and a thick coat. He had black-rimmed glasses on, and a slight scruff. He looked like all the pictures you’d seen of him, but better than you even imagined – the right mix of pretention and whimsical.

He was the embodiment of art and of inspiration.

The little girl in you was screaming.

You were transported back to the first painting you ever saw by him. It was in a magazine that Felix had stolen for you off the library racks. As kids, you and Felix had sat on his bedroom floor, flipping through the glossy pages. On the last page though, there was a painting of a lighthouse, with surrealistic waves hitting the shore. There was no article or editorial. Just that picture, with a name on the bottom. Kim Jieong, 2006. You’d ripped the page out, and kept it safe with you, before returning the magazine. You’d felt no guilt then, because it was the most beautiful art you’d seen then.

Kim Jieong, your favorite artist in history, was a real fucking person. He was real, and he was looking at you.

The corner of his lip tilted up, “Hey”

Hey.

You’re going to fucking pass out.

He was talking to you. He knew you existed. “Um, hi” Your voice came out softer than it was, and you hope he couldn’t see the stars in your eyes.

“Can I help you…?”

You could feel the eyes of everyone on you, and you gripped onto your sketchbook tighter, “I’m…the new student”

His eyes widened, “You’re Y/N…?”

He knew your name?

Now he was the one who looked caught off guard, “Shit, I’m sorry I completely forgot you’re coming in today. Nate, can you please help Y/N get a spare stool and easel?”

Nate, the boy you’d met before, smiled, “Of course I can”

Your earlier embarrassment slowly eased. Professor Jieong stepped to you with a poise that only masterminds possessed, “Be honest… Did you have any trouble finding this room? Most students do”

“No, I was just confused because…it’s not really a conventional classroom”

Jieong laughed, “Well, if you liked conventional things, you wouldn’t be here”

“You’re right” You smiled.

He pointed to a corner, “There’s your seat. I’m putting you next to Nate. He can help you out the first week. Even though it’s your first day, don’t worry I’m not going to make you talk about yourself in front of the class or anything like that. I know how much people your age hate that”

You smiled at that, relieved, and finally sat down at what was to be your place for the future. The view from here was so pretty, through the parted indoor trees, you could look out into the city. There were floor-to-ceiling windows sprawled out, and the sun was in your eyes, but you didn’t mind. It must get really hot in the summer, but right now it’s the cusp of winter, and so it was perfect.

“So, how are you liking Seoul, Y/N?” Jieong asked you, stepping in the way, shielding your gaze from the light. It was so early in the morning, but he was full of so much of vigour. You wish you could have energy to match him right now, but lately you just feel drained.

You smiled up at him, observing how the rays formed a halo around his head, “It’s all right…I, uh, I really love the food here.”

Jieong paced across the room, making sure to look at each student, and there was so much comfort in his stance, as he talked to you, “I know you’re joining in the middle of this semester Y/N, and everything is going to feel very jarring. Usually, people get an intro class and some icebreakers so… don’t be afraid to ask me stuff, okay? There’s no stupid questions in here, right?”

“Debatable” Nate mumbled loudly next to you.

“That’s not what you said when I asked about the color combos last week” The girl with bleached hair chimed in.

Jieong grinned, putting his hands on his hips as he came to a stop in the centre, “Haha. Don’t try so hard to make me look bad in front of the new girl”’

You laughed, “Don’t worry about it”

Jieong grinned at you, and you were still reeling from his attention as he talked, “We’re going to start on a new project for the next couple of weeks. I have a couple of field trips planned but today we are just going to explore some basic anatomy, okay?”

There was nothing more to be said. Everybody fell into a rhythm, and Jieong wasn’t even speaking anymore, but he filled the room with his presence. He had such a strong personality and clearly had a good rapport with all his students. You were looking forward to get to know him.

This was such a beautiful room, and you had only been here a few minutes, but you were endlessly inspired. It reminded you of Aera’s, filling you with so much creative energy, you were bursting at the seams. You hoped that this emotion wouldn’t be lost on you. This was the first genuine excitement you’d felt since….since what happened in the shop.

It’s been a few days, or a few weeks, you can’t really tell. Yet you play it in your head over and over again, trying to connect the dots. You give up every time, because nothing justifies what happened that night, and you don’t realise that most of your sleepless nights in this city pass by…just like that.

»»————-

There were good days, and bad days.

There was a separation between the art studio, and the rest of your life. In the studio, you were content, because you were distracted. At home…was another story.

Your apartment was a blank canvas, and as the weeks passed, you breathed life into each corner. The walls filled up slowly with the new artwork you created, with your works in progress from the apprenticeship. There were a few plants in your room to remind you of Daejon’s lushness.

You immersed yourself in the whirlwind of city life. Seoul sucked you in deep. You found a bakery you like, a grocery store you frequent, an art shop that fed your supplies.

It’s strange, to have good days, but nobody to share it with. It feels pointless to be excited about something but having to keep it to yourself.

You were still teetering on the edge, you hadn’t visited nightclubs or bars — you found no time between the classes. The people at the apprenticeship were talented, in a way that made you doubt yourself but push harder. You tried to talk to the people around you, but you only saw them in classes, and your friendships didn’t exist beyond those canvases.

It was hard to make friends in the city. You hadn’t predicted the isolation that would come with moving here. Jeongin and you would occasionally bump into you at the stairwell, and that would be the most of your social interaction. You made time to meet Yeonjun each weekend, and he helped you buy some basic furniture for your apartment; a coffee table, a dresser, a mirror. They even helped you carry your new mattress up the stairs, and you invited them in that night for some wine, as a thank you.

You liked to think that you’ve settled into a routine as you washed the dishes in your new home, listening to the hum of the city traffic. In the quiet evenings that you spend with yourself, you drifted into daydreams and thought about him, but you stopped yourself before the longing gets too bad.

Your apartment is so small. There’s no space in your life to be sad.

You’re supposed to be living your dream after all.

»»————-

The sun in the art studio never bothered you. Instead, felt warm on your skin, energizing you.You attempted to channel the beauty of the room into each pencil stroke. It was hard to focus on your art, sketching out a few basics as your professor talked over a few prompts. This was only the beginning, so you were taking it slow. It felt like it had been ages since you drew, and your skills were getting rustic.

When everyone was busy and distracted, Jieong came to you. “Doing okay, Y/N?” His voice was low to not disturb the other students, and you nodded.

“I’m good…just trying to get the hang of things”

“I understand” He smiled, and he was bent over to speak to you, “You’ll soon figure out the pattern. We experiment every class and you’re free to work on whatever medium you want. Don’t think of this as an art lesson, okay? It’s…refining your existing skills”

You smiled, “Yeah. I know I missed a few but I’m excited for the rest of the classes. I feel like I’ve hit a roadblock…with my own work, I end up only making the same kind of paintings every time”

Jieong nodded, like he’d heard this a million times, “But that’s exactly what I’m here for, okay? You can talk to me about anything you want. There’s also going to be a couple of field trips this semester, and you can meet some other mentors. In case you realise you hate my methods”

You laughed, continuing to sketch away, “I doubt that’s possible. I…I’m looking forward to those though”

“And not to sound too forward but…you look like you haven’t slept in a week, kid” He commented, with a chuckle, but there was no malice in his tone. Just a genuine observation.

“I haven’t” You admitted.

“Nervous?”

If nervous and heartbroken were the same emotion. Then yes, you were more nervous than anything. You settled and said, “This just means a lot to me”

“What brought you to Seoul, if you don’t mind me…asking? Did your parents move here, or a boyfriend or somebody?”

“Just looking for a change…” You said. It would be too much to tell him that you’d looked up to him half your life, and had worked your ass off the entire summer to get here….That you’d been willing to lose your friendships for this and that there was nothing in Seoul for you except this….It would be crazy to tell him that in the end, a boy had convinced you to be selfish and come here.

His lips curled up, oblivious to your internal worries, “A change? You’re in the right place then, sweetheart”

Sweetheart. You looked up at him, with obvious adoration in your gaze. Kim Jieong just called you sweetheart.

He reached out, to pat your back, “It can’t be easy moving, but I hope you know you made the right decision. If you’re looking for change…this is the place to be, and I’m really looking forward to know you and your art better. I can promise you that you’re going to be very happy here, Y/N”

You’re smiling, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. Maybe you needed the reassurance that coming here and uprooting your entire life wasn’t a mistake. It had felt all too much like that after Hyunjin’s disappointed encounter – making you feel that you should’ve just stayed where you were.

You’d pined for this place for so long, yet you already missed your little hometown and your life there, because things with him were better back home.

It will take time to get better. It’s only the first day.

The weight of his words sank in, and you suddenly felt teary-eyed. There’s been a void in your heart for the longest time. You thought coming here would fill it up, but even as you’re painting in your dream class with your favourite artist, your heart feels dead.

You ought to be insane to not be grateful. Seoul was the only thing you ever wanted, but maybe it’s time for you to admit that…wishes change. Dreams change.

A lump builds up in your throat at the horrible realisation that maybe, the only thing that can fill the void in your being was Hyunjin.

»»————-

Today, you were drawing from life.

There was a model in front of you, and amongst all the plants, she looked like a siren plucked from the pages of an ancient Greek legend. She was sat on a barstool, dressed in a tight lace outfit. You focused on the detailing of her lingerie as you paint it into your canvas. Surprisingly, you’d never drawn anatomy from life before, you’d never ventured into that skill much.

Her set was made entirely of lace — thin flowers covering the chest, overlapping with vines and the model blends into the room's atmosphere. She looked beautiful in muted pastel colours, and you wish you could own a piece like that. You’ve found some time to revamp your wardrobe, and when you wear prettier clothes, you feel like you’re reinventing yourself.

Daejon was usually always humid, so you never experimented with patterns, layers, and textures. It was the same skirts, the same tank tops, and sweatpants that you circulated through, and it was okay because your life was the same there everyday. Here…you’re trying to be different.

Nate brought you out of your train of thought. He was poking a pencil in your leg, to get your attention, and you looked up at him. He was grinning, hair swept back. He’s handsome, in a conventional sense anyway, but you don’t let yourself think further than that. There’s no point.

You glanced at his canvas and he’s halfway through his portrait already. Somehow, he’s made the model look even more ethereal in person.

“Could I borrow the green swatch?” He asked, eyeing the watercolours you have in front of you. You’ve bought a lot of new art supplies, and it was quite frankly, a humbling experience. Everything is so much more expensive here, but the apprenticeship gives you some money for supplies, and you’re already halfway through it. The watercolour palette though, is your favourite. It’s Winsor & Netwon. In fact, it’s the same one you used the night of the Paint and Wine event at the Chateau.

“Of course” You told Nate, and handed him the palette. He dipped his brush right into it, taking away some green paint. Everybody around you was quiet, in a deep concentration as they worked on their pieces. Kim Jieong was circulating the classroom, hands on his hips as he observed every student. He stopped every few minutes, to help out, or give advice.

It’s been some time, but you still felt starstruck around him. Some charms never fade.

You’ve had little time to observe yet but it was obvious from day one - He’s insanely cool, and he teaches art in a way that makes you so grateful to be his student. He sees the world differently than you, and you’re in desperate need for that perspective. You’re tired of only seeing things your way.

So, you obviously immediately stop painting as he soon as he comes near you. You’re embarrassed as his eyes catch progress of your painting. You’re far behind the others.

“How’s that going?” He asked, in a hushed whisper to not divert attention off the class.

You dipped your paintbrush in water, letting it soak through, “I think…it’s okay”

Jieong frowned, just slightly, looking over your canvas. He had a pair of glasses pushed over his head and he slipped them back on, leaning in to look at your strokes. You’re self-conscious, rightfully, and you held your breath as he analyses the painting.

“Your strokes are very…careful” He looked back at you, “Like you’re afraid of making a mark on the paper”

You gulped, “I…sorry”

His eyebrows shot up, and he removed the glasses, keeping them on your desk. “Mind if I sit next to you, Y/N?”

You nodded, and you’re ready to hear the end of it. He pulled up an abandoned stool, scooting close to you. You pulled your hands into your lap, and faced him.

He gets right to it, “All the work that I’ve seen of yours in the portfolio you submitted. You were usually more confident. Is something bothering you these days?”

So much is bothering you, yet none of it is an excuse.

You haven’t come this far, just to slack off. You haven’t paid so much just to be average. You haven’t dreamt so long just to be careful. You’re holding back.

“No…nothing’s bothering me” You lied, manifesting that it will soon be the truth.

Jieong frowned at your blatant lie, because he’s obviously older and wiser and therefore he knows everything. “You’ve been getting enough sleep now?”

There’s no point in hiding the truth. It’s more embarrassing to be caught in a lie, “Actually, not really…my place is still new to me. I’m still getting used to the bed, my room…the traffic. Where I’m from, it’s always quieter at night. I…also miss my friends”

Jieong smiled at your words, “Is that all? Because if so, then I’m not worried. You’ll settle in soon, and the loud traffic will soon fall on deaf ears”

“I know” You nod, you’re trying to be positive, “It’s just taking some time”

He nodded, and you think he’ll leave but says, “Have you visited any museums yet? Or been around the city?”

You’re conscious again, because everybody else is painting the model, yet you feel like a kid being reprimanded by their teacher.

“I haven’t had much time. I’ve tried to improve my skills at home”

“You’re in a metro city, Y/N. You should let yourself be inspired. I’m not asking you to go out and get drunk—” He laughed, “But maybe the trick is to tire yourself out so much during the day, you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow”

You forced a smile, but it’s hard when he’s looking right at you, “You’re right. I should do that”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your painting” He apologised, “You can continue”

You nodded, picking up the paintbrush but you’re shaking. He’s still sitting beside you, and his observant gaze terrifies you. You feel like you’re ten years old again, trying to be perfect in art class.

His hand landed on your shoulder, “Don’t be nervous”

The fact that he’s caught on to you being nervous is embarrassing, and you decide to say, “It’s hard not to be. I’ve looked up to your art my whole life”

He smiled, in your peripheral vision, “Is that so?” He looked proud, the smile reaches his eyes, and you nodded to confirm.

You and him haven’t had too many personal conversations yet. He’s close to everyone else in class but you‘re still getting to know each other. So, he still has no idea what he means to you. He had kind eyes, and the way he carries himself makes him seem much younger than he is. He’s trying to put you at ease, and you feel slightly grateful. He didn’t need to do this, or come here.

“I went to your exhibition in Jeju” You told him.

His eyes lit up, “Is that how you heard about this program? I remember my team was handing out flyers for this program there”

“Yup, I went with my best friend. Well, I sort of dragged him there, but I’m glad I did because I saw the flyers. I never thought I’d actually get in here though”

“Yet here you are” He hummed, “At the fear of not sounding narcissistic, can I ask you what your favourite piece was?”

You smiled, “You’re one of the greatest living artists. I think you’re allowed to be a little narcissistic”

At your words, he laughed. It’s so loud that it catches the attention of the students next to you. Though they’re used to his magnanimous personality, they turn away soon enough.

“You’re too sweet” He told you.

“My favourite piece…” You trailed off, and you’re replaying the exhibition in your head. You had dragged Felix around every hallway, and he’d complained throughout. Your thoughts are overtaken by something else though. At the pool all those weeks away… you’d talked about this in detail with Hyunjin, the night you told him about your rejection. The night you sat with your feet dipped in the water, the night he touched you and told you how he’d tangibly changed you. He couldn’t have known in that moment, how right he was. You can feel the ghost of his touch on your fingers, on your lips, your thighs.

Jieong must have noticed the fall in your expression because he tilt his head, “Everything all right?”

“I’m sorry. I was…just trying to remember” You can’t let thoughts of Hyunjin paralyse you.

“That’s okay” He said, simply.

“My favourite was Celestial Fatality” You said, “How…did you even come up with it?” You’d theorised this with Hyunjin…but now you could actually get some answers.

Jieong seemed surprised, “That’s a pretty morbid painting to love, Y/N”

“It’s beautiful though. It reminds me of the legend of Icarus”

“What do you like about it?” He leaned forward, and your heart jumped. He actually cares, and wants to know your opinion. The thought of it is crazy and makes you a little dizzy.

“It’s a cautionary tale…the pair of lovers drowning in moonlight, swallowed up in their own…hubris. They were probably told to stay away from each other, yet at the risk of their mortality, they still met”

Jieong seemed almost impressed, “You seem like a romantic person”

It’s a strange thing for him to say to you, in the middle of a Wednesday class. But he’s your favourite artist, and he’s absolutely right. For a romantic person, you’ve surely never had any good relationships to account for it though.

You shook your head, “I’m really not. I just like that painting. Something about it feels close to home. It’s almost like I can feel the pain of their mistake…of choosing each other over anything else in the world, even if that ends in their perishing…”

His lip curled up into a smile, “Fascinating”

Your chest felt heavy, but it feels so good to talk about this with him, “I hope one day I can create something with as much impact as that. I want to tell stories that linger, I think there’s a long time till that though…I mean I’m struggling with basic anatomy,. I guess I just need to get better….”

“I’ve only known you a few weeks, Y/N, but can I tell you something?”

“Hmm?”

He reached out, smiling warmly, “You’re way too hard on yourself. You’re in one of the greatest cities in the world. Live a little, kid”

»»————-

It had been just two weeks, but you’ve developed a habit. Every evening after class, you find yourself organising the canisters on the shelves.

“Should we be paying you for this?” Nate asked, stepping over to you. You don’t talk much in class, and when you do, it’s always in passing, like this. Right now, he had a bag slung over his shoulder, while he bit into an apple, the juice dripping down his chin. You wish you had more energy to put into your friendships right now but making new connections has felt so draining. You’d been too dependent on Yeonjun, but he can’t always be there.

He looked silly, eating fruit here, but you laughed, “I hope you’re joking”

“No, because why are you putting all of them in that order?” He asked, another crunch reverberated through the studio as he bit into it again.

“I actually worked in an art shop my whole life. Old habits…” You shrugged, looking at him.

“You’re kidding me” Minnie said, stepping up, “That explains it”

“Explains what?” You turned to them.

“Your desk is always so…strangely clean” She said. You don’t know her well too, but you love how she dresses. You love how she pours herself into her clothes, and expresses through them. She’s always wearing chunky jewellery, flowing skirts, corsets. Her art style is similar to it. It’s loud but dainty at the same time.

“I’m gonna presume that’s a compliment” You laughed, picking up your sketchbook. “Can we get going, Nate, please?” Minnie asked him.

“See you Monday” You smiled at them, turning to finish packing your things.

Nate looked at you over his shoulder, “Actually… You got any plans after class?”

You looked between them, “Not really, I was planning on brushing up on my anatomy. Why?”

Nate rolled his eyes, and he almost reminds you of Minho in this moment, “Even though that sounds like the bestFriday night ever…We’re going to this new bar that opened up. You wanna come with?”

Minnie jumped forward, eyes lighting up, “Shit, yeah! I think you might really like it. The whole place is themed like a post-apocalyptic nuclear bunker. Very cool”

“What?” You laughed, walking over to them with your bag, “That sounds really unique, but I don’t really want to intrude on your plan”

Nate stepped forward, offering his hand to you, “Your anatomy can wait till Monday morning. You’ve been in Seoul a few weeks, don’t you want to explore the cool shit already?”

“Are you sure?”

“We have an extra ticket anyway” Minnie suggested. They’ve never asked you to hang out with them before like this. You wonder what it was about today that made them try.

You stared at his hand, outstretched to you. No inspiration was going to strike from you just sitting in your studio apartment every night. They were right, and you slipped your fingers in his. He smiled brightly…and that just happened to be the night you made your first friends in the city.

And…Nate had a lot of friends.

You realised as much when you’re sitting at the booth, squished between Minnie and him, staring at a bunch of young adults you don’t know.

They’re fun, and they’re on their fifth tequila shot of the night. In another life, this might have been your teenage years too. Attending Seoul University, having friends from affluent neighbourhoods, weekend nights out at the bar. Alas, everyone at this table is worth more than the average person’s income in Daejon, and the only cheap bar in your small town was run by an old creep.

Minnie handed you another tequila shot, her hand resting on your thigh. She’s very handsy and you don’t mind.

There’s been a few rounds of getting to know each other. You’re the new one, so you kind of feel like the baby of the group, even though they’re all older than you. Most of them came from America, but their Korean is so good you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Nate has attractive friends. Ha-ru, Renjun, Lily, Jamie. But none of them hold a candle to the boy you’re desperately trying not to think about.

You came straight to this bar after class, so you had no time to change out of your paint-tattered clothes. Thankfully, you’re wearing the leather jacket Yeonjun bought you, and it does a great job of keeping you warm. Admittedly, his friends aren’t too dressed up either. They all came from work too, and you once again realise that life here is so different from Daejon. There’s no time for frolicking, or lounging around in diners and swimming in Creeks. Everybody’s working their ass off, to afford the lifestyle that Seoul asks for, the lifestyle you always killed for.

“So, what brought you to this city, Y/N?” One of his friends asked you. It’s the only question you get asked these days. The most interesting thing about you is your newness, but they’re outgoing, so you’re not surprised at them making all these attempts to get to know you.

“Where do I start?” You joked, reaching for your drink, “I moved here from a little town near the mountains”

Your glass was tinted red, to match the theming of the bar. It’s a fancy place, and all the decor makes you feel like you’re underground. Even the bouncers are dressed up in what look like radioactive suits, for the whole nuclear bunker vibe.

Everything around you is neon. The tables, the lights, the dance floor. Each one of Nate’s friends has a neon necklace around their neck, and glow sticks as bracelets. You’ve seen those accessories in the movies, but you’ve never been to a party with them. Minnie made you a purple and blue glow-stick bracelet, and slipped it on your wrist a while ago. You’re fiddling with it as you talk to their friends.

“Ah, a small town girl” One of his friends, Renjun, laughed, but you’re not offended. It’s true, after all.

“Why would you willingly choose the life path of a struggling artist?” Jamie asked. She’s cute. Her hair is dyed bright red, so you already like her.

You laughed, “A silly dream”

“What’s your dream?” Nate asked, squeezing your shoulder. You realised his arm is around you, and has been for a while. He smells nice, and so you let it linger. Even now, his huge headphones hang off his neck. He never goes anywhere without them, and you’re proud of yourself for picking up little habits and quirks in such less time already.

Everybody has different reasons to be an artist, so you tell them yours, “I don’t know…I’ve been painting since I was a kid, but I think I’m ready to finally share my art with the world? That’s assuming other people would want to see it, but I guess I want to reach a point in my life where I’m proud of what I created, and hopefully I can inspire others. Also…because if I don’t become an artist, I have no idea what the hell I’ll do. It feels like the only thing I really enjoy doing”

It’s far too intense, and serious an answer for this bar, but Nate’s friends listened kindly. They smiled as you talked. It felt a little lame, sure. It also feels unachievable, but Minnie grinned, and pat your thigh, “I mean….wow, you’re halfway there! You made it to Jieong’s studio”

She’s right. You’ve been sad and moping this whole time, and you decide that tonight needs to be the night you want things to change. After what Jieong told you earlier today, you deserve a little fun, enough fun for the sirens and the traffic to become your lullaby as you fall asleep.

“But why Seoul? You have enough talent to make it to Paris” Jamie asked. She has piercings too, and you get distracted by how well they complimented her.

“I’d have to live on the streets” You bite your cheek. Maybe they can’t relate because they’re so much more well-off, but Nate laughed, and said, “Isn’t that an artist’s rite of passage?”

You smiled, and downed the last of your drink.

“Well, since you’re one of us now. Here’s your honorary tiara!” Jamie said, handing you a neon golden tiara across the table. You grabbed it, placing it atop your head and Minnie clicked a picture of you, joking about you being a princess from humble beginnings. Her words slur a bit, and you’ve been here more than an hour, so it explains why everybody’s already tipsy.

The dance floor was absolutely full, and there’s couples grinding on each other. There are so many pretty girls, and attractive guys surrounding them. Girls in tight dresses with no care in the world, and boys trying to flirt to catch their attention. There’s probably someone falling in love right this second, in this very bar, and you’re people-watching for a while. Everybody’s neon accessories are glowing in the blacklights, and it’s a beautiful scene, straight out of a movie.

When you tune back into the conversation, Jamie’s telling the group about some jerk at her workplace today, and you try to follow her story, except you’ve already lost the context. It’s probably the lack of sleep and all the alcohol in your veins.

You don’t have to try for long though since Renjun interrupted it, “Shit, is that Baekhyun?”

The name is familiar, and you all craned your heads to see who he’s pointing out.

There’s a well-dressed man at the far end of the bar, and he’s indulging in tequila shots, with two girls by his side. He’s beautiful, and he has silver hair.

“Who he is?” You asked, but you already know. Hyunjin has mentioned a Baekhyun before…and you’ve grown up hearing about him on television too, but this can’t possibly be him.

“A singer” Jamie said.

“Oh. He’s…the Baekhyun?” You dropped your voice. It felt weird talking about him when he’s right there, “Isn’t he like… a superstar?”

Nate nodded, “He’s one of the top, yeah. Even my mum’s obsessed with him. Why are you so surprised? Never seen an idol in the wild?”

If only he knew…

You craned your neck to see Baekhyun making out with the girl at the bar, tongue and all. “I didn’t know they can be so open…” You frowned, unable to comprehend the scene before you.

“Why wouldn’t they? He’s like twenty five. I know you’re not from the city but you’re not that old fashioned, are you?” Nate laughed.

You shook your head, but the little movement hurts you because you’re tipsy too, “No, it’s not that. I just thought…aren’t they prohibited from all of that? The drinking and everything…in public”

Minnie laughed, “Come on, you don’t seriously believe that Y/N”

It wasn’t just your belief. It’s what Hyunjin had told you, time and time again. His reputation was more important than anything, and his company would never let it be tarnished. Indulging in things like this…would definitely alter public perception of him.

“Well…they’re like super controlled by their companies” You told them. This was one thing you knew more than them. You’d heard first-hand accounts of it.

“Yeah, but none of them follow those rules” Nate laughed, and he’s drawing circles on your shoulder as he speaks, “Every single idol I know is like a sex freak”

“To put it kindly: they fuck like bunnies” Jamie clarified, “All that pent up frustration. Plus they’re all hot, and spend all their time together. It’s only natural”

“But…they’re not allowed to date publicly” You spoke, yet it came out more as a question.

Nate shrugged, “Still. They’re a bunch of horny twenty year olds, Y/N. You can’t be that naive”

“I’m not” You defended, “I just thought…Someone told me that… it’s really looked down upon, that they could get kicked out of the company”

Renjun leaned forward, jutting his head towards Baekhyun, “Does that look like the face of a man worried about being fired?”

Surely not. He was now making out with the other girl on his arm, while the previous one kissed his neck, at the bar for everyone to see. You’re sure people were taking pictures of them too, whoever wasn’t drunk enough to comprehend this.

“My friend’s worked with a couple of them. They’ve literally all fucked each other. And honestly, if I led a lifestyle as stressful as that? I would too” Renjun laughed.

“Most of them are dating too” Jamie said.

It felt like a dark cloud washed over you. Were you wrong about everything you assumed about Hyunjin’s life?

“Who told you that anyway, Y/N?” Minnie asked.

“Just some guy who works at Pegasus” You mumbled, twirling your glass on the table. Pegasus was the label Hyunjin’s group is under, but there’s enough artists in that company to not arouse any suspicion.

“Why are you so curious about this anyway? You’re in the mood to fuck a famous guy?” Nate asked.

You shook your head, “No, it’s just interesting to think about…”

If you could still talk to Hyunjin, you’d call him right now and ask him all about this, and why nobody seemed to care that Baekhyun was feeling up two girls in this very public place. It was like looking into an alternate reality, where nobody cared about what they were up to. A better reality than yours surely, yet you couldn’t process it. You hadn’t been interested in idols before Hyunjin, and after Hyunjin, all you’d known was their endless restrictions.

Minnie finished the tequila in your glass, “I could never be famous. I’d get cancelled on day one”

You smiled at her joke, but your mood had already dampened. Nate was right. You were naïve to think that none of them broke the rules, just because Hyunjin didn’t want to. You stared at the condensation ring your glass left.

Minnie nudged you in your stomach, as if noticing the lull in your emotions, “Wanna get another drink with me at the bar?”

You desperately wanted a drink, so you could finally let go and enjoy the rest of tonight, “Aren’t we going to be hungover for class tomorrow?”

She rolled her eyes, “Class isn’t till eleven. We’ll be fine. Plus, Jieong knows we drink every Wednesday”

So you followed her to the bar. Baekhyun wasn’t there anymore, and he must have left with the girls. “This place is really cool” You told her, hiking up on a bar stool as she ordered you two Tequila Sunrises.

“Isn’t it? We try to go out every week, it keeps us sane. I mean, there’s so many places to explore too, you know what I mean?”

You nodded, even though you’re all about routine and less about spontaneity, “I get it”

Your drinks arrived, decorated with two cherries on top, and a slice of orange.

“So, you have a boyfriend yet?” She asked you, chewing on her straw. You knew the question was coming, so you’re not surprised and you don’t flinch.

“No” You shook your head, “I haven’t had one for a while”

She hummed, “Why? It’d be fun to get one, while you’re here”

You laughed, sipping on your drink, “Get one? You say that as if I can just go shopping for a new boyfriend”

The drink was citrusy — a blend of tequila and orange juice. Yet your favourite drink is still the one Hyunjin made you, complete with the flower from his home garden.

She rolled her eyes, “No, I mean, you’re pretty. Look around us and just pick a cute boy. Boys in Seoul are so desperate they’ll be very easy to get”

You laughed, “You’re not serious, are you?”

“I am!” She seemed offended, “Then we could even go on double dates”

“You have a boyfriend?”

She smiled, “A girlfriend. But we’re on the down low”

You’re surprised, “Really? What’s her name?”

She laughed, pointing at your booth, “You met her. It’s Jamie. She’s at the table”

Your eyes widened, “Shit. You’re dating Jamie?”

“I know, we don’t seem like a couple, right?”

They hadn’t been all over each other so you hadn’t presumed they were together, but perhaps their love was stable, so they didn’t need to be. You took a long sip of your drink, “No, I just…I just didn’t know”

She shrugged, “We don’t really tell anyone. Not everybody gets it”

“Thank you for telling me. I know we haven’t talked much in class, and you don’t even know me that well, but—”

She interrupted you, keeping her hand on your thigh, “Stop, Y/N. I’ve seen your art, and honestly that speaks to me so much more than knowing someone for years. It’s like reading a personal diary, don’t you think? Art reveals so much of who we are”

You smiled, her words stroking a growing flame in your heart, “What does it reveal about me?”

She chewed on her straw further, smile tugging at her lips, “All I need to know. And since we’re all in Jieong’s class now, I hope you know we’ll basically be family by the end of the year”

“You’re really sweet…I was kind of nervous joining in the middle of a semester, but I’m so glad I’m here. Thank you for taking me out tonight too”

“Of course. You’re the newest addition to the group, we had to”

It feels so sudden, and fast, but you’re thankful they consider you a part.

“So” She leaned forward, “Pick a boy to kiss tonight”

You shook your head, laughing, “No, I can’t” You’re tipsy, but you’re not that drunk, and the idea of kissing someone who’s not him, hurts you far too much. You also can’t imagine enjoying it.

“Why?” She pouted.

You wonder what’s the best way to say it. You forced a smile, “I’m…in love with somebody else”

Minnie’s eyes widened, as if you’d been keeping a secret from her for years, “What? Who?”

You played with the orange slice in your drink, “Just a boy from my town”

“Can I ask what happened?”

You swallowed, gaze wavering from hers, “Uh…it’s complicated, Minnie”

“Did he break your heart?”

You looked up at her, “We…lost touch”

It sounds stupid to say in the 21st century. Those kind of things don’t happen anymore. It’s not like you are ancient lovers who separated due to circumstances. Yet it feels more like that every day. You wish you just knew what happened. There must be a reasonable explanation for why he acted this way.

Minnie frowned, “I see…”

You know she’s curious, but nobody could ever understand the complexity of what happened between you and him this summer anyway. You don’t think you understand it yourself.

“Let’s just not talk about him” You mumbled, finishing the rest of your drink. You’d been drinking so fast tonight, you didn’t realise how much you’d had.

“Hey…” A voice interrupts you, and you turned to see Jamie, “I was looking everywhere for you”

Minnie rolled her eyes, “The only place you should look is the bar”

“You’re right” Jamie slung an arm around her, pulling her close, “Can we go dance, baby?”

Minnie grinned, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, “Y/N, do you wanna come with?”

You looked between them, and they look so cute together. Jamie was leaving little pecks on Minnie’s shoulder as they talked. They complement each other so well — Minnie with her light hair, and Jamie with her fiery red. You haven’t known Jamie before tonight, but their personalities seem so contrasting too.

You jumped off the barstool, “I’m actually gonna go to the bathroom, okay?”

“Cool. We’ll be here” She smiled, walking off to the dance floor with her girlfriend.

There’s a line at the bathroom so you stand in it, hugging yourself. The music isn’t as loud here, so it’s nice to get some time to your thoughts. A couple is making out in front of you, and the guy is grabbing her ass, pushing her to the wall. The club walls aren’t the most sanitary for this, but the music playing is sexy, and the atmosphere is so hot. There’s nothing wrong with daydreaming…so you let yourself drift into it. If he were here…you don’t think that would have stopped you either. In a dress that’s too short for you, the two of you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other the whole night.

Except… he would have definitely stopped you. You can never imagine a day where he’d kiss you in the middle of a crowded bar.

Once you’re finally in, you splashed some water on your face. Some of it gets on your top. Pushing your hair back, you stared at yourself in the mirror. The image looking back at you is blurry, and out of focus. Pink neon strips surround the mirror, but the light hurts your eyes. The alcohol has got to your head, and your reflection is already spinning. You take in a breath, gripping the counter tightly. You suddenly feel sick. It’s not the drinks. It’s the image burned into your head of Baekhyun at the bar. How is he living his life with so much ease, when all you had with Hyunjin are stolen moments? You’re happy that perhaps the rules aren’t the same for everyone…but it feels unfair.

You wonder if you’re destined to always feel this way, this loss, like a hole in your heart where he belonged. Tears threatened to spill but you hold them back. You can’t be the girl crying in the bathroom, on her first night out. That would be so fucking pathetic, you’d pity yourself.

“Fucking asshole!” A voice interrupted your breakdown, and through the neon mirror, your eyes fall on a girl as she runs into the bathroom, aggression plastered on her features. She’s in a tight top, and it’s soaking wet. It looks like someone spilled a drink on it. She looked rightfully annoyed, coming to stand next to you at the sink. You wonder who she got into a fight with, or how the drink ended up on her clothes.

She’s furiously wiping away at her top, but it’s completely wet, purple liquid seeped in. Tearing off tissues one after the other, she seemed frustrated when the dispenser is out.

You’re still zoned out, and you don’t realise you’re holding out a toilet paper roll to her. Your limbs seemed to move on their own accord.

She glanced up at your reflection, with wide eyes. Bangs fall to the front of her eyes, and thick eyeliner darkened her gaze. A nose piercing catches the neon light. Despite the mess on her shirt, she easily looks like the coolestgirl you’ve ever seen.

“Thank you” She frowned, but her shoulders visibly relaxed at your gesture. She grabbed the paper roll from you, and you turned to leave.

“Some dude threw a drunk at me when I said I didn’t wanna dance with him” She said. It takes you a second to register that she’s talking to you.

So you turned around, crossing your arms to hold yourself, “Oh…ouch. Some people just can’t take a no, I guess”

She laughed, looking at herself in the mirror, “Right? I looked in his direction for a second, and he took that as an invitation”

Her clothes …are completely ruined, and you can see her bra. It’s way past the point of saving. It would have been a cute outfit, if it wasn’t for the huge stain at the front.

“Who was he? Maybe I can get my friends to talk with him” You told her, and you don’t know why you’re offering up Nate and Minnie to fight a random stranger, just for this girl.

Still, she laughed, “Your friend would beat up a stranger for me?”

You smiled, and said without hesitation, “If I ask him nicely enough. Actually… I think me and him just became friends today, so I can’t promise you”

She laughed, “A night of firsts for you too then”

“For me too?” You questioned, and you’re still looking at her through the bathroom mirror.

“It’s my first night out on the city after a long time. I honestly just needed to get out. I thought I’d go insane in my apartment” She told you, and then looked down, “What am I gonna do with this?”

You don’t think, “You can have my jacket”

Her eyebrows shoot up, and she whipped around to look at you. You realise up close, she’s even prettier than in her reflection, if that’s possible.

“You’re serious?” She tilt her head, and looked over you, gaze drifting to the leather jacket that clings to your body, “That looks new”

“You can return it to me” You offered.

“You trust me enough to do that?” She smiled, and dimples appear in her cheeks.

“You… seem nice enough”

She looked at your jacket yet again, thinking it over in head, “No, I couldn’t. Won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine, and you definitely can’t wear that” You said, pointing to her blouse that sticks to her body.

She sighed, looking down at herself, and then gives in. You wonder why you’re convincing her to take your jacket. Maybe because she’s the only thing that stopped you from having an actual breakdown in the bar bathroom. She peeled off her blouse, cursing again at how it sticks to her body as she did so, and it leaves her in just her bra. She squeezed the blouse over the sink, wringing it, and purple liquid dripped out.

“That’s gross” You remarked, and she laughed. You handed your jacket to her. Inside, you’re thankfully wearing a tank top so you’ll be fine. She zipped it up, and it’s a little tight on her, but it does the job. It obviously doesn’t match with the denim skirt she’s wearing, but still you smiled, “Cute outfit”

“I look insane” She laughed.

“Well, hey, at least that’ll keep the creepy guy off you” You told her. You then realise you’ve been here far too long, “Um, I should probably head out. My friends would be worried”

She giggled loudly, turning to you, “Wait, but thank you. You’re…really nice. It’s not often you meet people with the likes of you here”

“I’m not from here but…I’m sure anybody else would have done the same thing” You suggested, standing at the door to leave.

“Well, I asked like six girls for help but all of them said no” She mumbled.

Your heart clenched. Perhaps it’s true that people in the city really are so consumed in their own lives. Maybe that’s why everyone in your town hated them.

“Where are you from then?” She asked you.

“You won’t really know it”

Her eyebrows shoot up, as if you challenged her, “Come on, try me. I was a pro in geography in high school!”

“It’s a town called Daejon”

Her eyes widened, “Daejon? Yeah, I do know where that is!”

“Oh” You smiled, and you don’t know why you’re telling everybody about yourself tonight, but it feels nice.

“I actually knew somebody from there” She said, and that’s what really catches your attention.

“You do?”

“Yeah” She smiled, but says nothing more.

Someone suddenly tugs at your sleeve. It’s Minnie, and she hooked her arm around yours, pulling you out, “You’ve been in here for like, an hour. We’re going to another bar. Nate and the others are waiting for us”

You glanced back at the girl, and said, “Sorry! I, um, gotta go”

You’ve made it all of two steps out of the bathroom and back into the bar, before she tapped on your shoulder. She yelled to be heard over the music, it’s so much louder out here, “Wait! How should I get this jacket back to you?”

You’re clearly drunker than you thought since you just handed her your shit and were walking away without any plan of how to get it back, “Um yeah, I can give you my number. I’m Y/N, by the way”

“Y/N” She repeated, pulling her phone out to save your number, “My saviour”

You enter hers, and you’re in a hurry because Minnie is pulling at your sleeve, whining about how the others will be annoyed, “What should I save yours as?”

“You can just put in Kairi!”

“Sorry?” You looked up at her, freezing. The pounding music overtakes your senses. You must have misheard her…

“Kairi. My name!” She smiled, and you’re staring at her stupidly for a second just as Minnie tugs at your arm, and before you can ask her any further questions, she dragged you back into the bar.

»»————-

At 6:46 a.m., there was a text on your phone.

heyy its the drunk girl you gave your jacket to last night :) im very grateful for it and would like to give it back. where do you work, yn?

You’re surprised she remembered your name.

Last night flooded through your brain. You’d gone out drinking with your friends, and then to another bar, and you’d come home without your jacket… dead in the night. Jeongin had seen you struggling with your keys, and he’d let you in. You’d been so fucking drunk, but nothing can erase the memory of that girl.

She said her name was Kairi. Chan’s ex-girlfriend was a girl named Kairi. The girl he was in love with for years, the girl he was going to ask to marry, before something happened…and they broke up. That had also been around the time Hyunjin had stopped talking to you…

How many Kairis could possibly live here? It’s probably just…a random Kairi, and not the one Hyunjin had told you all about. Although knowing your luck, Chan’s ex-girlfriend was possibly texting you, and this was all kind of insane. You can’t even go a single day without being reminded of Hyunjin, and it feels like life is playing a cruel trick on you by introducing you to Kairi. It’s too big a coincidence. It’s so crazy and convoluted that you should just block the number and never think about this again. She had no idea who you are, and it feels like you’re tricking her by knowing her identity.

But Yeonjun gave you that jacket so you can’t just let it go, and so you text her back. Just so you can get it back. Nothing more to it.

hey, im actually a student but i can come to where you work, and pick it up

a student? that explains why you’re so sweet and i work near the outskirts, it’ll be too far for you. why don’t we meet up at the paris baguette near hannam? is that all right for you for tonight?

i actually have class at eleven

ah how about now then?

You sat up immediately. You’re still in your pyjamas and hungover as fuck. Now?

»»————-

Kairi was standing outside the Paris Baguette when you arrive, tote bag slung over her shoulder. She looked absolutely stunning in the morning, miles more so than the club bathroom, and your heart shakes a little. Sober, she’s prettier, and even more confident.

“Hey” You walked up to her, trying not to think about how weird this all was. You’re just here for the jacket, and then you’re going to leave, “Morning”

“Hey, stranger” She smiled bright, dimples returning.

“I’m sorry if I was late” You apologised.

“No, don’t mind me, I just like to show up way too early. Here’s your jacket!” She reached into her bag, handing it to you, “I had it dry-cleaned in the morning. Didn’t wanna return it with the alcohol smell over it”

“Oh. Thank you” You smiled, “You didn’t need to do that”

“Of course I did. I’m buying you breakfast, by the way”

“You’re what?”

“In fact, I got here early to beat the rush. Got you some pain au chocolat before it sells out!”

Fuck. No wonder Chan was in love with her.

This feels far too weird though, and you can’t be hanging out with her, “I should…get going, Kairi”

“You remember my name, Y/N” She grinned, unfazed by you constantly wanting to just get the fuck out of here.

“Of course…you, uh remembered mine, but I should really go”

“Well, I’m not letting you go that easily. I already bought us food”

You watched, helpless, as she reached into her bag to bring out a little box, “Do you want to walk with me? There’s a place in the park we could grab coffee from”

You really shouldn’t. Every bit of you is screaming at you at how you shouldn’t do this. But she looks far too happy for this early in the morning, and you don’t want to be to the ruin her entire day so you gave in, “I…can’t ever say no to coffee”

Kairi grinned, triumphant as she led you to the park, and when you bite into the chocolate croissant that she bought you, this doesn’t feel like such a big mistake.

You’re walking, and her elbow brushed against yours as she asked you, “You said you’re a student”

“Mmh” You nodded, through a mouthful of croissant. The chocolate sticks to your lips and you wipe it off, conscious of how you look around her.

“So, tell me more, Y/N. What are you a student of?”

You’re feeling the nerves in your tummy, and you need to act normal because this is just a girl. It doesn’t matter if Chan is her ex-boyfriend, or if she’s friends with Hyunjin. You can’t make it weirder than it already is. “I study art” You told her, “At the Atelier”

“Art?” Her eyes lit up, “I swear I always attract the creative people”

“Yeah?” You glanced at her, swallowing another bite of the croissant.

She shook her head, as if to dismiss the thought, “Mmh. So what kind of art do you learn?”

It’s a chilly morning in the park, but it’s beautiful. People are walking their dogs, and old couples are sitting on benches, and you’re with a kind stranger who was buying you coffee.

“All kinds, but mostly painting” You told her, leaning against a little fence as you two come to a stop. There’s a little stall set up in the popular trail of the park, and a sweet woman is selling coffee and cakes. Kairi paid for your drinks, and you watched her from where you stand.

“I have a friend who likes to paint” She told you, smiling as she walked back over to you, “Personally, it’s not for me”

“What do you do?”

“Be careful, it’s hot” Kairi warned, handing the steaming cup of mocha to you. You wrapped your hands around it, and lift it to your cheek, letting the warmth travel to your face.

She giggled, “Who needs heat packs when we have caffeine?”

You nodded, taking a sip of it as you looked at her. She can’t seem to stay still, and she’s walking across a circle of pebbles, as she chats away and sips at her coffee. She’s so endearing, and she reminds you of a mix of Felix and Minho. Today, her hair is pulled up into a bun, strands falling around her face. Her makeup is lighter than it was yesterday too, but she’s prettier in the daylight.

“Oh and…I work in corporate. It’s…a boring job, but I think I’ve had enough of an exciting life” She hummed. You let yourself get comfortable, crossing your ankles across the dirt, enjoying the warm coffee, as she told you about her job, and the kind of clients she’s had. You tell her about your apartment, and about how you’d be locked out so frequently, if it weren’t for Jeongin. You tell her about Yeonjun too.

You’re trying really hard to not bring up anything that can give you away. You’re so curious, you need to know if this is the same Kairi that you’ve heard of this whole while. Kairi is a common enough name, even if you asked, what would you say? The boy I love is in a band with your ex-boyfriend. It’s insane to bring up, so you settle for something simpler, “Um…can I ask why you’re buying me coffee on a Friday morning?”

She looked up at you, smiling, “Would you judge me if I said I’m going through a really shitty time? I kind of want to remind myself that there’s still good stuff in the world”

“Oh. I’m sorry” You apologised, staring at your feet. That was inappropriate to ask.

“Don’t be sorry. We all have our own baggage to deal with”

“Yeah. I get you” You said, taking another sip of the mocha, “Um, so don’t you have work today?”

“No” She laughed, “I’m taking a mental health day, as cringe as that may sound”

Your chest squeezed. It sucked to see her go through this, whatever it was, and you barely know her. “We all need that sometimes” You shot her a smile, “It’s not…cringe at all. Don’t worry. In fact, the world would be a better place if everyone took a mental health day once in a while”

She stepped up to you, eyes lost in thought, “You know…you remind me of someone”

“I do?”

“Mmh” She nodded, “My boyfriend, he—Sorry, ex-boyfriend, he was just like you”

Now you’re definitely crossing a line, but you’re self-destructive so you ask anyway, “Can I…ask what happened?”

She tilt her head, pausing between sipping her mocha, “It’s not really morning coffee worth news. I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details but we’re…taking a break…indefinitely”

You swallowed, “I’m sorry to hear that”

She shrugged, wiping some foam off her lips, “Don’t be. I know that…things are going to be okay”

You can’t resist asking, “How can you be so sure?”

“Well. He’s the only person I think of, when I’m sad…and also when I’m fucking happy. I know that he feels the same, and if two people can’t stay away from each other, it just means…they aren’t supposed to be apart” She laughed.

Your stomach clenches at that. You should believe that, except it’s impossible.

“I wish that I could be as positive as you are” You end up saying.

“You said you’re from Daejon, right?” It comes out of nowhere. Why is she bringing it up now?

You felt a rush in your chest at her question, “Yeah. I am.”

She pokes her tongue in her cheek, and you don’t know where she’s headed with this, “One of my friends was born there”

“Oh…” You try hard not to react, but you’re so easy to read, you give everything away. Anybody would be able to see you’re hurting.

“He’s a painter too. Well…not professionally, but…he wishes he was. He’s so talented. in another life, I’m sure he’s much more successful than even Da Vinci”

You know exactly who she’s talking about, and you can’t hear this. You’ll end up crying or something, so you finally do the right thing and say, “Um. I think I should leave, Kairi”

Her eyes widened, and she seemed confused, stepping towards you, “What? Did I say something wrong?”

You’re pressed up to the fence, facing her, “No. I’m just going to be late for class if I stay and—”

“I said something wrong” She interrupted you, face hardened.

You look at your feet, and you shouldn’t have come here with her. You’re far too sensitive for this, “No, you didn’t”

“Wait…You know who I’m talking about, right?” She continued, and you wish she’d stop.

“I don’t” You said, and your jaw is clenched from the lie.

Kairi’s gaze is unrecognisable, and her voice feels far away, “You’re…the Y/N…aren’t you?”

You’re squeezing the cup in your hand, “What?”

“I wasn’t sure…I had a doubt but the more time I spend with you, the more obvious it gets who you are”

Your voice fell to a whisper, “You know me?”

“All he did was talk about you.”

A burning flame consumes your heart, and you can’t breathe, and you asked even though you know the answer, “Who…?”

“Hyunijn… He would be making up excuses just to keep bringing you up, in each conversation. He talked about you every second he could.”

You think you’re going to have a panic attack in the middle of the park.

“He did…?”

“Until… a few months ago he completely stopped. He…hasn’t said your name since”

You swallowed, and there’s tears in your eyes, “I’m sorry I…need to go, Kairi. Thank you…for the coffee”

She doesn’t say anything.

This time, she lets you leave.

»»————-

You’re a mess.

It’s been a few days since you saw Kairi in the park, and you’re a fucking mess. You can’t stop thinking about her, about what happened with Chan, and about Hyunjin.

You’re sitting on the floor of your apartment, and your vision is all blurry as you try to paint. There’s an assignment due in a few hours, and you’re not even halfway done. Unproductivity has plagued you. Why do you get so fucking emotional? You wish you at least had some closure. It’s not fair that Hyunjin decided to just move on, and not tell you what was up.

Your phone buzzed, and it’s only Nate.

you coming to class? the field trip is planned for today so you better not skip it yn

You don’t even want to get out of bed, but you can’t skip it. Kim Jieong has been talking about this trip for weeks. He’s had to move a lot of schedules around to make it happen. You’re supposed to be visiting an artist friend of his— someone who owns art galleries and does frequent viewing exhibitions. The thought of meeting another real artist like that used to excite you. You had never got this chance back home, and this is just the beginning of the opportunities you get. You can’t be wasting away your time in sadness. That’s what gets you out of bed. That, and the thought of disappointing your professor potentially. These days, it feels like you’re just hanging on by a very thin thread.

When you arrive to the Atelier, everybody’s already gathered in the parking lot, ready to depart. You hate being late, but you spot your friends by the corner and you find comfort in walking over to them. Professor Jieong was in the middle of briefing everyone, and handing out access cards.

“You decided to show up” He said to you, smiling, “We were getting worried”

“I’m sorry. I ran into traffic” You apologised.

“Don’t worry” He laughed, handing you your card, “This will get you in and out of the building, but try not to use it too much. Karina would get into a shit load of trouble if my students are found wandering on the other floors”

Karina is the artist you’re supposed to meet today, apparently she’s big in the art world here in Seoul. You hope one day…you can be too.

Nate’s holding a plastic bag to his chest, and he looks cute today in a pastel sweater, “I packed some extra snacks for you, Y/N”

“You didn’t need to” Your heart warmed at his consideration.

“Come on, we’re on a tight schedule, so…let’s hurry up, okay?” Jieong announced.

“Since you’re late, you have the honor of riding with the prof” Nate smirked, jutting his head towards Kim Jieong.

“Are you serious?” Your eyes widened, “Just me alone?”

“You’ll be fine, Y/N” Minnie laughed, “He has a bias towards you”

“That’s only because I’m the new one here!”

“No, it’s because it’s impossible to not like you” Nate rolled his eyes.

Jieong approached your group, hands on his hip, “So…which one of you is coming with me?”

“She is” Minnie chirped, pushing you in his direction.

Nate hummed as he walked away, “If I remember correctly, he is your favourite artist, isn’t he?”

You’re embarrassed, and also pissed at your friends. Jieong lead you to his car in the parking lot. You watched Nate get in his jeep and he laughed at your predicament.

Jieong smiled at you as you got into his car, “Oh, don’t be shy, Y/N. This will give us a chance to know each other better, won’t it?”

You sank into his seat, flushing, “Right”

»»————-

The skyscrapers of Seoul passed you, as you drove through crowded streets and glitzy buildings, “Should I be nervous?”

He looked over at you, “Karina is one of my favourite students. She used to intern with me a few years ago. She couldn’t get off her meetings, so we’re gonna visit her at work. That’s all it is. Nothing to be nervous about”

You’re sitting in the passenger seat and it’s been mostly quiet as you fiddled with the access card in your lap, “What kind of work does she do?”

“She’s a curator. I asked her to be a sort of…mentor for you kids throughout the semester. She’s had her fair share of exhibitions”

It feels strange to ride in his car, next to him. You’re his student after all, “Do I get credit for this, Mr. Jieong?”

He glanced at you, “Of course you do. I’m not doing this on my dime, Y/N. We’re here, by the way”

At his words, you leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the building you’re arriving at. He pulled straight into the garage, and you briefly caught the glamorous exterior.

“This is where she works?” You gaped, “She must be one hell of an artist”

Jieong laughed as he pulled the car into a guest parking spot, grabbing a ticket, “Obviously the entire building doesn’t belong to her.”

You told him about Yeonjun’s workplace, as you waited in the car for all of your classmates to show up, “One of my friends…he works in a building like this, but it’s so…monotonous. I kind of hated it”

He laughed, “Well, I think you’ll love this one. It’s brimming with creativity. They have beautiful art hung in every corridor too. Karina’s workspace is on one of the upper floors”

“I’d kill to have an office like that. The view must be so good”

Jieong smiled at you, “You continue working as passionately as you do, and you will have whatever the hell you dream of, Y/N. You name it, and it’ll be yours”

He unclipped his seatbelt, and your stomach felt uneasy from anticipation as you got out of the car. Even the parking garage looks expensive, and glamorous. Way, way more than Yeonjun’s building.

“Am I underdressed? Will they let me in?” You blurted, even though it’s hardly appropriate to ask him that. You’re in a peach tube top and wish you’d grabbed a blazer or something. If the place has a dress code…you probably won’t be let in. Thankfully, the skirt falls to your ankles and isn’t too short. He looked back at you, eyes raking over your outfit, and you felt embarrassed. You shouldn’t have asked him.

His lips curled up into a smile, “You look fine, Y/N. Don’t worry”

Fine. That would have to do.

You waited near the elevators, as your classmates also made their way to you. Nate was smirking as he saw you with your professor. You rolled your eyes at him, and he stood next to you, “How was the private ride?”

“Clearly better than ours, Jeonghan, seeing as she rode with someone who actually knows how to drive. I’m surprised we made it here alive” Minnie mumbled to him.

“Stop calling me Jeonghan! It’s Nate to you” He rolled his eyes, shoving her.

“I like your Hangul name better” You told him. Nate was nice, but Jeonghan…had a ring to it.

He smiled at you, eyes crinkling, “Hmm. You’re allowed to call me whatever you want”

You laughed, and he came and swung an around you, holding you next to him. The rest of the class gathered up at the foyer, and your professor spoke, “We’ll be going straight to Karina, she’s gonna talk to each of you about her work, and we’ll spend some time looking at her portfolio. The Atelier has a reputation to withhold, and I trust you all to not mess with it. And yes by that, I mean you Jeonghan”

Jeonghan gasped dramatically, and you laughed.

The inside of the elevator was as big as your bedroom. The buttons were gold-plated, each label marking names of different managements. It seemed like a big office building, and each floor belonged to a different company. You stepped behind Jieong, letting him take the lead. He pushed a keycard, and the elevator came to life.

Familiar music started playing, and Jieong informed you, “Nobody can enter without authorisation”

“The real estate of this place…must be insane” You commented, looking around you at the gold fittings in the walls. It’s the fanciest place in the city you’ve been to, which is saying a lot, since The Art Atelier is pretty exclusive too.

Jieong leaned against the side, crossing his arms, “Well, all the floors belong to different companies. Most of them belong to Pegasus though. They’re paying for half of it”

Your head snaps to his, and surely this is all a fucking joke and somebody is messing with you big time, “Pegasus? Like…the entertainment company?”

There was no fucking way he was being serious…

He nodded, “Their headquarters are on the eighth floor. I’m sure you know most buildings downtown share offices”

Somebody has to be fucking with you.

“Hey, maybe we’ll see Baekhyun or someone again” Jeonghan laughed.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Minnie asked, “It looks like the life drained out of you, or something”

Jeonghan grinned, pulling you into his side, “She’ll be fine. I’m sure famous people just make her nervous”

»»————-

A freak accident. That’s what this was.

Pegasus. That is where Hyunjin works.

You’re sitting in an office on the tenth floor, but you’re losing your mind. There’s art on the walls. You recognise the paintings, and they cost more than million won and you should be taking notes and appreciating them. You can’t focus on them though, not when Hyunjin is in this building somewhere.

You feel like a stalker. First Kairi, and then this. Your life is playing a cruel trick on you. You just need to get through this. It’s possible he’s not even here today — he’s a busy man. There’s a huge chance you are in and out of here, without ever encountering him. Yet you’re dying to see him.

“Make yourself comfortable. Karina will be with us soon” Professor Jieong told you all, sitting at the table. You felt like you’re going to pass out.

“Y/N. Are you okay?” Someone asked.

“I’m fine. I just…need some water” You mumbled. Your head was spinning with the revelation of where you are.

“There’s a soda machine down the hall” Your professor told you.

So, you get up and go out without a word. There’s so much life here. Jieong was right, there’s a hum of creativity in the air and the vibe is far different from Yeonjun’s office. People are walking around, clad in pantsuits and pinstripe skirts, with clipboards in hands. A woman strolled past you holding a costume rack, with the fanciest gowns you’ve seen.

You’ve never seen so much activity in one place, everybody’s in a rush. You avoided making eye contact with anyone. You felt weird, and out of place. You’re on the tenth floor. Hyunjin worked on the eighth. It’s too much distance, and it’s not enough distance.

As your eyes raked over everyone, your stomach turned with a bit of hope. You want to see him. No, you need to see him. But why would he be on a floor that isn’t his? And what would he even say if you bumped into him right now? The last time he saw you…you can’t survive a repeat of that.

The vending machine was easy enough to locate. It was fully stocked, and huge, unlike the one at your apartment building, which hardly ever worked. You reached into your purse, hoping you have enough change for a Coca-Cola.

You feel on edge in the hallway, vulnerable and out in the open. Every second feels like you’re in the wild, as you rifle through your wallet for coins. In fact, you should just fuck the soda and go back to Kim Jieong, and your apparent mentor Karina, because being out here is too dangerous for your heart.

You’re about to push the coins in, and then you’re suddenly caught off balance as somebody barrels into you.

They were running in the hallway and clearly, somebody from your class wasn’t listening to Jieong about maintain fucking decorum in the building. Coins from your hand clink to the floor, scattering in every direction, and you can’t even be bothered to care.

“Shit, I’m so fucking sorry!” A deep voice apologised. It’s a voice you don’t recognise, and you’re grateful for the unfamiliarity. You’re really not in the mood for conversation, and you feel sick to your stomach.

The stupid fucking stranger bent down, retrieving the coins you’ve left everywhere.

“I’m so sorry. I was running and I…I didn’t see you” He grimaced.

“It doesn’t matter” You mumbled, moving to step away, not really making an attempt to talk because you are not in the mood for this. You don’t care enough about this soda.

“Wait, no, what were you going to get? I can buy you a Cola” He interrupted.

You looked back at him, into the eyes of the culprit, and you froze.

Chocolate brown eyes. Dark blue hair falling to his jaw.

You don’t know him, not personally, but you recognised him. You’ve seen him splashed across gossip websites, and news articles, and in all of the pictures Hyunjin sent you.

Of all the people in the entire building, it had to be him.

He’s holding a few coins in the fist and held his palm out to you. “Sorry, the soda machine on our floor is broken again” He told you, “I came up here to get some for myself but…”

“It’s…fine”

His eyes narrowed, “I’ve never seen you on this floor before”

You faltered, “I don’t work here”

For the briefest moments, something flashed through his gaze, recognition settling into his features, “Oh…okay”

“Have a nice day” You force a smile.

He doesn’t say anything, just stands up straight with all your coins in his palm, staring after you as you walk away.

»»————-

You need to leave. Everybody was gathered around a woman in the office, and she must be the mentor you’re supposed to meet today. Most of your classmates were looking through the various portfolio pieces laid out on all the conference tables. Minnie was deeply immersed in a painting and taking notes on her phone. Jeonghan was flipping through a brochure for an art gallery and his eyes widened when he saw you walk back in.

“You’re back” He grinned.

“I’m leaving” You mumbled, grabbing your bag. You feel so childish and immature for acting out like this, but perhaps it’s time for you to take a mental health day too. Hyunjin saw you in the city, and ran from you, so it’s only fair that you run from him too. It’s not like he even knows you’re here... it’s best to just remove yourself from the situation entirely, and fuck off.

“You’re what?” Jeonghan followed you outside the room.

“I’m not feeling too well”

“But what about Karina? What am I supposed to tell Jieong?” He asked frantically, and he’s chasing after you as you make your way to the elevators. You’re surprised he cares this much.

You turned, to look at him, “It doesn’t matter. I…I really don’t want to be here.”

He frowned, “But what’s wrong? You’ve been acting really weird ever since we came here. Or…actually, you’ve been weird the past week. What happened?”

“I’m fine, Jeonghan. I’m just sick” You told him, pushing the button to make the elevator come faster, and you were too impatient to wait for it, “I’m just going to take the stairs”

He tugged at your arm, turning you to face him, “Are you kidding me? We’re on the tenth floor, Y/N” He sighed, “Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but don’t bullshit me, please. We’re going to be seeing each other every day for a year. If things are fucked up, at least don’t lie about it to me”

You looked him in the eye, swallowing, “But…it’s really not important. I promise you’ll be the first to know when it is, okay? It’s just some shit from back home”

He frowned, “Okay but today is important, you…shouldn’t miss it, no matter what’s going on”

You pressed the button again, wishing the elevator would come faster so you could leave, “Jeonghan… I appreciate you caring. I really do, but trust me, nobody in that classroom is going to miss me, or even know that I’m gone”

“You’re kidding me” He sighed, as if he was personally offended by this, “Jieong used to talk about your art all the fucking time, before you even joined class. What makes you think he won’t notice?”

You’re not expecting to hear that, “Are you serious?”

He nodded, “He told us we had real competition to look forward to now. He was going on about how it’s been years since he’s seen such work. He really set the standards high for when you came in, Y/N. We all thought you’d be a bitch based off that but…it’s crazy. You’re actually the sweetest girl I’ve met in a while”

Despite your internal state of panic, it made you happier, “Oh…um, that’s a lot to live up to, Jeonghan”

“I know we’re still getting to know each other, but you’re a part of us now. I’m looking forward to know you even more” He smiled, reaching forward to pinch your cheek, “And see? You’re one of the only people who’s even allowed to call me by my real name”

You looked to the floor, then up at him, “Would he be mad if I left?”

“He wouldn’t be mad. Just disappointed…but…if you’re really feeling sick, I’m sure he’d understand. I can talk to him for you”

“Thank you, Jeonghan”

“Of course” He grinned, and caught you off guard by pulling you in for a half-hug. You stilled, not expecting that, but the physical contact felt nice, and you brought your arm up, to hug him back.

“I hope you feel better” He mumbled, as you pulled away, a small smile on your face. You’d made a genuine friend here, even when you weren’t trying to.

A ping rang through the floor lobby, and the elevator doors finally opened up.

You turned to step into it, but you stop short in your tracks when you look inside.

It’s a jolt to your dying heart.

Hyunjin is standing in front of you.

Your chest squeezes so you think you’re going to die.

Fucking hell.

Leaning against the elevator wall, arms crossed, his eyes widened as they fell on you. He instantly stood up straighter, ease disappearing from his body, surprise overtaking his features.

You’re sure your expression mirrors his. He was staring at you and Jeonghan, mouth parted.

Hyunjin is here. He’s in front of you.

You immediately stepped away from Jeonghan, but Hyunjin had already seen you embracing.

“Um…I’m sorry. It’s the wrong floor” Hyunjin spoke, but there’s shock in his voice, even if he’s trying to sound nonchalant. His voice was hoarse, like he’d just been singing, and exerting himself.

He leaned ahead, pushing the button to close the doors, but you can’t let him do that. He’s right here, and you need to go after him.

You turn to Jeonghan, rushed words, “I’ll…see you later”

He’s clearly confused. He chuckles, “What?”

He’s actually fucking here. It’s been so fucking long. You don’t have time to explain anything, and you don’t hesitate before stepping into the elevator, barely making it in.

The doors shut, and it’s just the two of you now.

Hyunjin was staring at you, and his hands are gripping the railing behind him, “Y/N…”

He was sweaty, and his hair was dripping wet, bangs sticking to his forehead. A white tank top hugged his body, over his sweatpants. He’s staring at you, and he looks so fucking good. Your brain is on overdrive, and you can’t process anything.

“Hyun…” You spoke. The floors are whizzing past you, and you don’t have any time. You both stepped forward at the same time, and you wrap your arms around him. He immediately hugs you back, pulling your body into his. His arms curl around your waist, and you’re on your toes, and everything is a blur. But you’re in his arms. You’re touching him, and you’re breathing him, and the void in your heart is already dissipating.

You could cry right now, because he feels the same to the touch, and his heartbeat is pounding so fast against his ribs, you can hear it.

“I missed you so much” You spoke into his neck, and your words are muffled by his hair, but he knows what you said.

“Y/N…” He whispered, hands tight around your body, and then he pulled away, “Jisung told me he saw you. I didn’t…I didn’t believe him. I had to see you myself”

“Is that why you were—”

“I was coming to see you” He interrupts you, and then his eyes dart to the elevator panel, to see what floor you’re on, “What are you doing here, Y/N?”

He must be baffled why you were at his workplace of all places in the world.

“I…I came with someone, Hyunjin, My professor…”

“Oh”

“Yeah…” You swallowed. You had so many questions. Why had he changed his number? Why hadn’t he talked to you in the store?

A part of you had doubted, if what you’d felt this summer truly was love, or if it was only infatuation…but seeing him right now, in front of you, it couldn’t have been anything else.

Every neural pathway in your brain was firing at total capacity, flooding your body with adrenaline, dopamine, oxytocin, every good hormone known to man. You were giddy, and nervous, and scared, and excited.

“I…don’t have much time. I was at practice and I need to get back…” He replied, and his breaths were shaky, “Somebody could see us”

“Wait—” You stepped forward, “You can’t just leave right now. I need to—”

Hyunjin lowered his voice, urgency in his tone, “I can’t talk here, not right now, Y/N”

He couldn’t walk away from you, not now, not again. You feel like crying already at the prospect, “But—”

“Meet me in the third room in this hallway, down the left. In fifteen minutes”

“What…?”

The elevator doors opened, and Hyunjin separated from you as if you’d electrified him.

There was a group of people outside waiting, and anybody could have seen you close to him right now. He stepped out hurriedly, saying nothing else. People flood into the elevator, but you’re still staring at him walking away.

Before disappearing around the corner, he turned to glance at you over his shoulder, and the surprise is still pure in his eyes. You used to hate these stolen glances, but right now… you live for it.

»»————-

The fifteen minutes dragged on at a snail’s pace. You don’t think time had ever been this slow, and your eyes strayed to your phone every few minutes, which only made time stop. You were pacing the hallway, clutching your bag in hand, eyes on all the different plaques of achievements hung on the wall. You recognised the band name, Urban Faeries, on multiple awards, and it brought pride to your soul, but you’re not really thinking straight.

You’re pacing, back and forth, and you drew a few suspicious looks but you hope they believe you’re just another stressed employee working here. The time is up before you know it. The third room, to your left, he had said. You stared at the unmarked white doors. You’d never live it down if you accidentally walked into a conference room, or an executive meeting. But you’d just have to trust your gut. You pushed open a door, stepping inside quickly.

You weren’t sure what you had expected. It was…a storage room. It's less fancy than the rest of this building. Racks and racks of clothing, and outfits were arranged on the sides. Stage costumes. They were all in plastic wrapping, like wedding dresses at a bridal boutique, and you could see the outfits underneath.

It had been ten minutes since you were here, and you’re staring at your phone, wondering if you were in the wrong room. He’s not here yet, and there’s a lump building in your throat. Minutes more pass, and you end up looking through the outfits hung on the rack. Sequinned jackets, tight bodysuits, leather pants. It was all so beautiful, and you imagined it all on him. There was a sheer top with lace sleeves. You shouldn’t, but you touched it, reading the tag on it.

Hwang, Hyunjin. KBS Gayo Daejon 2023.

So it was his. You had no idea he wore things like this, and you had a sudden overwhelming desire to see him in it. Lace covered every inch of it.

“You like that?” A familiar voice infiltrated your thoughts.

You were startled, letting go off it instantly. You felt embarrassed, like a kid caught stealing from a cookie jar, but all your feelings dissipated upon seeing him.

“Hyunjin” You realised.

He leaned against the wooden door, letting out a breath, like he’d run here. His gaze was on the bodysuit you’d just been eyeing. He continued speaking, nonchalant, “I personally think it’s a bit much. I don’t see the big deal, but the fans…they love it”

“It looks…great” You said, eyes drifting to the costume rack.

“I’m supposed to wear it, later this year”

You’re lost on what he’s saying. You just can’t believe you’re actually seeing him in front of you, flesh and blood.

There’s a singular lightbulb in the room, and it hangs from the ceiling, swaying back and forth lightly. Shelves surround you on both sides, and there’s only a narrow aisle to stand in. His back is flush to the door, and his arm reaches behind him, turning the doorknob until you hear a clicking sound.

He’d just locked you in with him.

You blurted the first thing that came to your mind, “Are you okay, Hyunjin?”

So much was on your mind, but that was the only thing that mattered. If the boy you loved was okay, then you would be okay too.

He breathed in, like every word was a struggle, and he was still catching his breath, “Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay…You?”

Now that he was here, you realised how small this room was. He took up so much space here, as he did in your heart. Twenty minutes ago, when you saw him…you were too shocked to process it, but now your eyes drifted over his figure. The white tank top fits his body in all the right places. It’s like every day away from you only made him prettier. You nodded, “I’m…okay”

Then his gaze raked over you. You suddenly feel conscious for the way you’re dressed. It’s different from how you used to in Daejon, and he realises that too. It’s more expensive than you’re used to. It’s artsy, like all the other kids in your class. You wonder if he hates it, but his gaze lingers on the strapless top and the silver pendant hanging from your neck. You recognise the look in his eyes, and it’s certainly not hate.

Your heart pounds at his gaze. The room suddenly feels even smaller now.

“Who was that?” He cleared his throat, “The…boy you were with”

“He’s another student…at The Atelier. I’m here with my class…”

“Oh…” His tongue darted out to lick his lips, and you tried to focus on his words, “So you’re here with Kim Jieong?”

You nodded. You’re so nervous. You’re fiddling with your fingers, “Yes”

In the little light of the bulb, you saw his lip curl up, “I knew that you’d get in”

He has such an effect on you, because just those words made you smile, “Yeah?”

In an instant it’s like all those months and weeks have been forgotten. It feels like there was no distance between you. Like catching up with an old friend after years, everything clicks into place like puzzle pieces that fit together.

“I told you, didn’t I?” He tilt his head, hair falling into his eyes, and he looked smug.

You clasped your hands behind your back, “You did…”

He continued, a little smirk playing at his lips, “I knew that you’d get into the program. I had a feeling that they’d made a mistake”

You’re smiling now, and your cheeks already hurt from the unfamiliarity of this action. It’s been a while since you’ve felt this way, “You’re proud of me?”

His features softened and he stepped towards you, “Is that really a question? Even when you hadn’t got in… I’d still be proud, but yeah…I’m so proud of you”

“Thank you” Your voice fell, chest warm, and you feel so shy, “You… always had faith in me”

“Is it everything that you imagined?”

“The art program?”

He bit his lower lip, “Mmh, and the city. Has Seoul been nice to you? Hopefully, nicer than it has to me”

You shrugged, “It’s been nice. I…made a few friends. I have a nice apartment. It faces a busy street…It kind of sucked that I didn’t get to share any of it with you”

His expression changed, “Sorry”

Tentatively, you took a step towards him. There’s only little space left between you now, but you’re both being so careful. It’s like a magnet between you two, you’re hovering but not getting too close, not touching.

You know that if he touches you, it’ll be the end of you.

“What’s going on, Hyunjin? Why did you ask me to meet you in here?”

He sighed, gaze darting to the corners of the ceiling, “It’s the only place in the building they don’t have cameras”

“Oh…” Everything suddenly made a lot of sense.

His voice softened, “Don’t worry. Nobody’s supposed to come in here right now. I checked all the schedules”

You have so many questions, but somehow you ask him the least important one, “The woman in the store with you. Was she your girlfriend?”

You regret it as soon as you ask. It makes you sound envious, and jealous. It paint a picture of you that’s not true. Sure, you’ve wondered about her identity all these weeks, but…she hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things. There’s more at stake here.

Still, Hyunjin’s eyebrows shoot up, “What?”

You feel stupid repeating, “When I saw you, you were with a girl…”

“No. No, she’s just my manager, Y/N”

“Is that why you pretended to not know me when you saw me?” It comes out harsher than you intended, but you don’t have time to ease into it. You need to know, because it’s bothered you for so long.

He swallowed, and guilt flashes over him. “Yeah. The manager I was with... She’s one of the less forgiving ones”

It eases the slight ache in your chest, but you’re not done. There’s an explanation for why he acted this way, but he’s not attempting to explain the rest.

“Why did you disappear, Hyunjin…?”

He swallowed, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean — You changed your number all of a sudden. Do you know how hard I was trying to reach out to you?”

His fists are balled up at his side, digging into the material of his sweatpants. You feel a little bad for questioning him like this, and putting him on the stand, but you deserve to know.

“I’m sorry. I had to. I was afraid…” He trailed off, and it’s half-hearted.

So you pushed for more, “Afraid of what?”

He looked at you, straight, “I was afraid they’d find out about you. I couldn’t risk it. You know everything that’s been going on in my life, Y/N. With Chan and Jisung…I couldn’t let them get into more trouble because of me”

It hurts to hear that you’re only seen as trouble in his life. You’ve heard of many idols and celebrities who date, fall in love and marry. Why is it only an issue when you’re the one in love?

“I understand that, but…you could’ve told me. I was so fucking confused for months, and I thought I fucked up somehow. Did I do something wrong, Hyunjin?”

“What?” His voice raised a pitch, like he couldn’t believe you asked him that.

You tried not to cry, “I mean…I must have done something, for you to act this way towards me…you cut me off, with no explanation…”

You didn’t care anymore if you sounded needy, clingy, or desperate. You’d been craving an explanation all these weeks, and now that he was here…you couldn’t leave without getting one.

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N” He stepped closer, until his chest is inches from yours, “I had no control of the situation…and I couldn’t risk contacting you”

You swallowed, “But why…didn’t you just tell me what was going on? I was…in the dark, for months”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you. I just didn’t know how”

“Tell me now…please”

“They went through Chan’s phone” He blurted, “After everything with Kairi went down. They were worried that something would leak and I…I couldn’t deal with that. So in the store…I couldn’t talk to you. Please believe that…especially not in front of her. It would’ve been hell explaining who you are”

He’s right. What good would it have done? The woman you were wondering about…she was just his manager. You knew that, of course. But still, it’s like you’re strangled by a lasso of truth as you blurted, “I was …jealous”

Hyunjin’s expression changed, and he tilt his head, “You were?”

He’s questioning you, yet there’s pride in his voice, like he’s happy that he had that effect on you, even if he didn’t intend to.

“She treats me like I’m a kid, Y/N” He tells you, with a slight chuckle, “She’s married and…way older than us”

The ache in your chest has subsided, “I don’t know. Maybe you’re into older women like her”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and there’s a playfulness in his voice. It truly feels like all of those months had been forgotten, “That’s a nice way to get fired”

“You can get fired?”

There is amusement in his features, “It’s a job, Y/N. Of course I can get fired…and anyway, does Kim Jieong know you’re here with me?”

You looked into his eyes, “Nobody knows I’m here…”

He nodded, relief sinking into his shoulders, “That’s good because—”

Hyunjin is interrupted by a loud sound.

You’re confused…until your attention turns to the door. The knob is turning…

Somebody’s trying to get in.

Hyunjin’s eyes widen.

Your eyebrows shoot up, and you panic. “Is someone—?”

He doesn’t let you finish your sentence. He clasps a hand over your mouth before you can speak, pushing you to the wall by his body, “Don’t say anything, please”

In a daze, you nod. Over his shoulder, you can see the knob struggling to turn. It’s met with resistance — The lock seems to be holding up.

“Hello?” An unfamiliar voice of a man asks, “Is anybody in there?”

“Shit” Hyunjin drops his head against yours, whispering, “I forgot to check for maintenance”

His palm is flush against your lips, and you’re glad he’s physically stopping you because your anxious breaths could surely be heard outside. You’re so nervous. You don’t know what would happen if someone finds you two here like this. Based on everything he’s been telling you, absolutely nothing good.

Suddenly, you feel guilty. He’s in here because of you. He can get fired because of you. You would never forgive yourself if he has to deal with any consequences, because of your existence, and instantly you understand why he did what he did. All your anger and confusion dissipates, and understanding sinks into you.

The door budges as somebody tries to kick it in, and the person on the other side curses loudly, “Is this door fucking broken again?”

You’re holding your breath too hard. You need to calm down. Your hands find their way to his waist, crumpling his shirt. You’re pinching at his skin, but he doesn’t care. He can hear your heartbeat, pounding so loudly. Silently, with just his eyes, Hyunjin asks if he can drop the hand.

You nod. He pulls his hand back and his palm is wet with your saliva. He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t even wipe it. He just stays in place, eyes locked onto yours. You couldn’t move… even if you wanted to. You’re frozen to your spot and caged by his body. It towers over you.

“Don’t worry…They’ll leave soon” Hyunjin reassures you, in a whisper.

You’re lucky he remembered to lock it. It’s undoubtedly a compromising position to be seen in. In a dark corner of the storage room —your bodies are squeezed together. He is dripping with sweat; you can feel it sticking to your skin. You can feel every muscle in his stomach, pressing to yours.

Your eyes meet each other, and they stay. It’s so quiet in here, you could hear a pin drop.

It’s as if he’s looking right into your soul, no words exchanged, but his eyes say everything. Like you’re challenging each other to some staring contest, seeing who would give in first, but neither of you do. You’re burning, pierced by his strong gaze but you look back at him, sight not leaving his for even a second.

He’s breathing so heavily — running on hormones and adrenaline, and his chest is moving in sync with yours. You can hear his heart thud erratically. It’s loud and frantic in a way he can’t control it. He was near you after so long.

“What if…they get in?” Your voice is shaking, you hardly recognize it.

“They won’t” He whispers.

There’s so much need you need to ask Hyunjin. He’s been out of your life for months, but the only thing that matters right now is the feel of his body against yours.

One of his arms is against the wall. The other is flexed with how tight he’s holding you. He’s been working out. Right now, he’s drenched in sweat.

You’re dizzy with want. He’s trying, but failing at looking at how you’re pressed to him.

His gaze falls to your chest, then back into your eyes, almost shameless.

Your top hardly leaves anything to the imagination, squeezing your tits against his chest, and his gaze is fixated on it, dropping down every few seconds.

You’re not saying anything, but nothing needs to be said. A sweltering desire courses through your veins.

It’s impossibly hot — hiding in here with him.

You’re electrified by his gaze. It swirls with a thousand unspoken things.

This is fucking stupid considering the circumstances. You could be caught right now, and everything would be over then.

Slowly, your hand moves over his shoulder. You squeeze his bicep in your hand, feeling him up, and his heart beats the same but his body is different. He feels stronger to your touch, like he’s been dancing for hours on end, using up all his energy.

“You…feel different” You whisper in realisation. There’s muscle now where there wasn’t before. His breath hitches, like he’s holding everything in, and his eyes fall shut. His body has changed in your absence, and you hate it, and you love it. You hate that he’s not how you remember, but you love that there’s more of him to know. More of him to touch, and discover and feel.

He’s so close that his hair is falling into your face. He tilts his head to give you space to breathe. It only makes it worse because now his nose brushes against yours. There’s barely an inch between you.

What happened in these few months? You need to sit with him, and talk for days about it. You want to tell him everything you kept to yourself, every incident, every joke, every dream, every morning, afternoon and night. You want to kiss every part of him, so your lips remember his again. So it’s muscle memory, and so he’s never a stranger to you.

The mind forgets, but the body remembers.

Therefore, you can only blame it on your body right now that it’s horrible timing but you’re so fucking turned on.

The distance between your lips is nonexistent.

He’s breathing your air, and you’re breathing his.

You should move away now, but you don’t. Hyunjin’s breaths are shaky, and his hands on you are so tight, like he’s afraid to let go. Your breaths are shaky too, they’re desperate and no amount of air in the world can bring you calm.

You want to be even closer than you are, and you press yourself to him, but the only way to be closer than this is if he were inside you.

There’s no more sounds from the other side of the door.

And then his plush lips part to say, “I… think they’re gone”

Saying that was his first mistake, because as he speaks, his mouth brushes against yours, tenderly, so delicately.

Your heart jumps. You can’t control yourself. Slowly, you press forward, taking his lower lip between yours. Hyunjin tilts his head, so his lips fit perfectly between yours, but you’re not kissing, not yet.

You’re both not moving an inch, but you are biting down on his lower lip, and Hyunjin lets out a whine. It emerges from deep within his chest. His fingers dig into your waist, thumbs slipping under the top, to feel more of your skin. You tug at his lower lip with your teeth, pulling it. A rushed moan fills the room, and you soothe the bite with your tongue, but you’re still not kissing.

You grab his hands in your own, fingers circling around his dainty wrists. Silver bracelets clink against each other, as you move his hands up your body. You want him to touch you. He takes the invitation and raises his hands to your top, cupping your chest. Does he remember your body? You feel so much. Too much.

Hyunjin’s other hand slides into your hair, his fingers on the nape of your neck making you dizzy. Long, thin fingers with silver rings card through your hair, his nails brushing your scalp, and your heart stills. The jewellery he wears is different now, but you feel the same kind of insane.

But he still doesn’t kiss you.

He just tilts your head, so he can lean in, pressing a kiss into your neck instead. Your eyes flutter shut from the pleasure, and you can only focus on the sensation of his mouth. His mouth, that drops kisses along your neck now, a trail of spit and lust. You moan at the sensation, and it’s too loud.

“No…You have to be quiet” He whispers into your neck as he sucks on it. His voice is the same kind of sexy, but he’s never commanded you like this before. He kisses every inch of skin on your neck, moving closer and closer to your mouth.

A trail of kisses, up and over your jaw, until his lips finally meets yours. His second mistake is giving in. He closes the remaining distance, your hair bunched into his fist, and neither of you are breathing anymore because his mouth is crushed to yours.

All those months disappear into nothingness as you slip your tongue into his mouth. It’s what happens every time someone puts you and him in a room together.

You kiss him with desperation and Hyunjin kisses you in hunger. He pushes his tongue in, and you’re making out like your life depends on it. He doesn’t stop squeezing your tits, fondling them through the thin fabric of your top. The material does nothing to hide how turned on you are, but you can’t be embarrassed. Not when you can feel his crotch pressing into your leg, and he’s just as turned on.

His hands are everywhere on your body, finding their home on your waist, and he pulls you into him so your back arches off the wall. There’s no words exchanged and it’s primal in every sense. The air is filled with your breaths, and whines.

He’s burning up. You push him, until he’s pressed to the door instead. Hyunjin stumbles back from the force.

It’s like you want to be caught. The very door that separates you from the rest of the world. The only thing standing between you and total annihilation. It’s hotter this way, and you press your body to his, moulding your mouth to his, hands running through his hair. He lets out a moan that travels straight to your heart which is beating faster than it has in a long time. There’s a fire in it, and every touch of his skin against yours blazes it more.

He turns you around, until you’re pressed to the door instead. He grabs your thigh, pulling your leg up so it’s wrapped around his waist, and he’s grinding his crotch against yours. You can feel him in your core and you pull back to breathe, moaning, “Hyun…” You’re not thinking, only feeling him in every single atom of your body.

You tug at the drawstrings of his sweatpants. You need to take them off. You need him now more than ever. Hyunjin is your annihilation.

He realises what you’re doing, and he pulls away in a daze, spit-coated lips, “Wait, wait, Y/N…”

“What?” You mumble, kissing his jaw.

His eyes are squeezed shut, “Shit. Wait…stop, we can’t do this”

And you can only whine, pulling him back to you, “You say that every time”

His voice drops, a bitterness to it as if he’s just had some grand fucking epiphany, “Fuck. No, We can’t…”

He says that, but Hyunjin is a hypocrite because when you push your tongue into his mouth, he lets you. He tastes so good, and kissing him feels coming home. It feels like what you’d been missing this whole time and kissing him makes you feel alive.

He mumbles, against your mouth, “We… need to stop”

You pull back, only slightly, “But …nobody is going to know. You said it yourself, nobody’s coming in”

You lean forward to kiss him, but he moves his head away before you can. You’re too much in a daze to be hurt by this rejection. He shakes his head and steps away, as if he’s trying to wake himself out of his dream, “No, we can’t. Not like this”

“But…we’re just kissing—”

“No…this isn’t okay, Y/N. None of this is.”

You fall quiet, and his words are swirling in the room all around you. Your mind is having a hard time process them. You’re in a lust-driven daze, and you brace yourself against the door to catch your breath, “What do you mean…by that?”

He breathes in, snapping out of the lust, “We’re making out…in a fucking storage closet. Do you not see how much is wrong with that?”

His tone stings you. “I mean…I don’t Hyunjin. That’s what we’ve always done. The photobooth…the—”

“That’s exactly what I mean!” His voice raises all of a sudden, but he realises and lowers it again, “We shouldn’t have to sneak away to…to do this. I’m so sick of this…”

Your heart wakes up, but only because it’s suddenly hurting again. His lips are swollen from kissing you, but he’s speaking everything you hate.

Your chest hurts like it’s going to collapse. “You’re sick…of…me?”

He looks at you, distressed eyes, “No…of…of the guilt…”

Since when has Hyunjin felt guilty? And for what? “What are you saying, Hyun?”

“Are you not mad at me?”

“What for…?”

He let out a frustrated sigh, “I stopped talking to you…but you don’t seem angry at all”

“I thought you did that because you were forced to by your managers, by the company… Is that…not true?”

He looked right at you, a bitter chuckle, “Nobody forced me to do anything, Y/N. I wasn’t even supposed to see you today, but…after Jisung told me he met you in the hallway, I couldn’t focus on practice. The routine is usually muscle memory to me, but I forgot every fucking step, because… I realised you were here. But you need to know I didn’t come in here to kiss you. I just wanted to talk to you”

You swallow, crossing your arms against your chest, and your heart is still calming down, “Okay. Talk”

He breathes in, running a hand over his face, “I… lied to you, Y/N”

“About…what?”

“Everything that we talked about” He’s scaring you, “I told you that when you moved here that I’d take you to the studio, to watch me record my fucking music”

“Yeah?” You don’t know where he’s going with this.

“But I obviously can’t do that” He takes a breath, and it feels like he’s on the verge of a panicking, "I can’t…bring you to the recording studio. I can’t paint with you. I can’t show you my routines, or any of the things I promised you. You see that, right? I mean, even just to talk to you, I have to do it away from everyone. This is…insane. I don’t know why the hell I said all of that”

He's spiralling, and you need to calm him because he’s so fucking hard on himself, “That doesn’t mean you lied, Hyunjin. You said that because you wanted it to be true, didn’t you?”

“That’s the thing! It can never be true, Y/N. You don’t see that?” His negativity…hurts you.

“I called you in here to tell you this, but I forgot the way you make me fucking feel” He says, “I wasn’t…prepared to see you”

You hear everything he’s saying but it’s wrong. You couldn’t be a part of the life that he promised you, but you didn’t care. You don’t need to do all the things that you cannot. He’s bothered by something that you don’t even mind. All you know is that you can’t go more months without him. You can’t go a second more in your life without him.

You’d convinced yourself that you could never tell him your feelings because it would scare him away. But right now, you need to tell him. Time away from him was cruelty. It was insanity, and it’s something you never want to subject yourself to ever again.

You‘ve never loved anybody as much as him, and you never will.

He needs to know that. His lip is quivering, and he looks guilty, and scared. You have to tell him, before he says something he’ll regret. Maybe if you were more prepared, your confession of love would be in a beautiful place.

Like the top of the Chateau…That night, under the stars, he told you he found comfort in you.

Hyunjin was always the more romantic one.

So you can’t blame yourself for not thinking this through. After all, how could you have planned for everything that happened? A series of accidents, of coincidences that led you to him, over and over again. No matter how much life tried to pull you apart, you found each other.

It was fate.

“I don’t care, Hyunjin”

“What?”

You step closer to him, “I don’t care if I have to kiss you in a storage closet for the rest of my life. I would choose that any day”

His lips part. He’s surprised. But you can’t hold back your feelings anymore. That has got you nowhere.

You pull him close, “I don’t care about all that, I just…I just want you”

His eyes widen, “Why would you ever choose this?”

“That’s…up to me” You swallow. He’s staring at you. It doesn’t matter that your grand declaration of love won’t be in a place as beautiful as him. It doesn’t matter where you are right now, you need to tell him the truth.

The truth — I went insane in my life without you.

The truth — I literally cannot breathe if you’re not near me.

The truth — I love you so much that my chest hurts.

“Did he kiss you?”

His question catches you so off guard, that your eyes dart up to his, “What? Who?”

He lets go of your hand, “Yongbok”

Where the fuck did that come from?

Your eyebrows knit together, and you’re so confused.

Yongbok doesn’t matter right now. You frown, “I don’t want to talk about him”

Hyunjin nods, “So…he kissed you”

You’re lost for words. You thought you two were more mature than this, “So that’s what this is about that? You’re acting this way because you’re jealous?”

He squeezes his eyes shut, “Yeah. I am. I am jealous, Y/N. It kills me to know that he’s known you all your life, and I can’t even have you to myself for one entire summer”

“But nobody is stopping you from having me”

“Everything is stopping me!” He cries out.

You flinch.

His voice falls again, and you can feel his distress, “I’m afraid, okay? I’m fucking scared that they’ll find about you and—“

“And what?”

He squeezes his eyes shut, “You’re going to get hurt. You’re not stupid, Y/N, and you fucking know that better than anyone”

“How can you be so sure of that? You’re the one that’s making decisions that hurt me, I mean I couldn’t even tell you I got into the stupid program because you cut me out from your life, all because you’re afraid of something that hasn’t even happened? Why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? What are you so afraid of?!”

He falls quiet, and he isn’t looking at you anymore. He stepped back, inhaling deeply, as if to anchor himself. His eyes meet yours, “You…shouldn’t have come here, Y/N”

Your voice breaks, “Why?”

“It would have made everything a hell of a lot easier”

“What would it make easier?”

He swallowed, “Having to stay apart from you”

He says things like that so easily, and his words bury deep into your skin.

Your voice broke, but you’re not done fighting for him, “I thought you missed me. I’m not afraid to admit that I did, okay? I missed you every second I was away from you—”

“I called you in here to say goodbye”

Your voice is merely a whisper, “What?”

His lip is quivering, “I wanted to see you…because this is the last time”

“You don’t mean that…”

There’s a tightness in your chest. You can’t breathe.

He swallows, “You and I both knew that what we had in Daejon…it couldn’t be anything else”

“Please don’t say that”

He looks to the floor, away from you, “I’m sorry”

You don't understand. Things were just okay, “Are you being like this… because of Chan’s break up?”

His tone changes harshly, “That has nothing to do with you”

You swallow, staring at him. Your eyes fill up with tears. You thought this stupid storage closet would be where you finally tell him you love him.

He doesn’t pull you in to comfort you, like he’s always done. He just looks at you, glistening eyes and his lip is quivering.

This can’t be it. There’s more to you and him, and this isn’t fucking it. Then his phone buzzes. Hyunjin ignores it at first.

Until it gets constant, and he sighs, “I’m sorry. I need to take this. You have to go, Y/N”

His words shake you to the core, and you can’t speak.

“Can you just please make sure nobody sees you when you leave?” He asks, strained, “I know you hate me right now…but please”

You nod. You have nothing to say. Even in this moment, you love him more than you ever have.

You’re so stupid. You thought nothing in the world could make you let go of him but just like always, Hyunjin is one step ahead.

He’s already let go of you.

»»————-

masterlist ⇒

please let me know if you liked the chapter, or any thoughts on this part! thank you :)

#hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin smut #angst #friends to lovers #skz x reader #skz imagines #hwang hyunjin x reader

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luvyeni · 21 days

Text

SEX FASHION AND GUITARS — chapter 12. next time !

𐙚 pairings. rockstar!jaemin x stylist!reader

synopsis. l/n y/n fashion major and photographer on the side who says what she wants, na jaemin music major and lead guitar player for underground band DREAM. After yn forgets her to change her account and says something that catches the eye of jaemin she tries to ignore him — expect thanks to chenle she now works for them.

word count. 1069 words

SMUT WARNING !!!

you downed the rest of your drink , sitting it down , making your way to the entrance of club , your face heated — from the drinks or jaemin you don't know what , but you kept moving anyway , you could see him standing at the entrance waiting for you , he looked good , his silk shirt almost all the way unbuttoned , giving you a view of his chest which was glistening , making you wetter if that was possible.

"do I need to find somewhere to stay?" sieun stopped you — you locked eyes with jaemin , who was already eyeing you. "probably." you turned her , she nodded giving you the okay. "have fun girl." you nodded , walking away from her , straight to the entrance. "you kept me waiting princess." he said , his eyes low. "you know i can't let that slide." you could feel his hands resting on your waist. "i feel like you could." you pouted your lips teasingly. "depends on how good for me you are in the uber , it should be here."

you both waited on the uber — his hands low on yours waist , his face nuzzling the side of your neck , leaving little nibbles that made you sigh and him smirk with satisfaction — the ride back to your apartment filled with him whispering semi dirty shit into your ear , that made you clench your thighs together , you were probably soaking through your panties , but luckily you were there , not even remember the ride.

you guided him up to your apartment , the first thing he did was take his shoes off , before grabbing you by the waist , pushing you up against the wall. "jaemin." you gasped out , but he didn't give you enough time , roughly kissing you , his hands squeezing your side. "fuck , i've been wanting to do that for a while." he pulled away , his eyes blown out. "why'd you make me wait so long?"

"wanted to make you beg." he laughed. "yeah , you like being a brat princess." his hands came up to your throat , you whimpered. "look at you , making so much noise already." he said , squeezing ever so lightly. "your bedroom?" you took him to your room , he didn't even bother closing the door. "i'll kill you if my roommate comes home." he pushed you on the bed. "so mouthy." he said , hovering over your body. "making it really hard to forgive you for keeping me waiting."

he sunk down to his knees , spreading your legs. "keep em open princess." he threw your legs over his shoulder , your clothed cunt clit in his face , your skirt already pushed up on your hip. "gonna finally eat this pretty pussy." he kissed the inside of your thighs. "you smell good." he pulled you panties to the side — thank god you wore the cute black ones , kissing your clit , you moaned. "fuck."

he dove right in , licking your fold , his hands squeezing your ass as he pushed his face more into your cunt. "oh shit jae-jaemin!" you yanked his hair. "fuck that feels good." you squealed , he pulled away smirking , his lips red and swollen. "look at you , falling apart just from my tounge." before you could come back with a snarky comment , his fingers were on your clit , his head back in between your legs. "oh fuck jaemin , fuck!" you shouted his name like a mantra. "im gonna cum — fuck im cumming!"

he pulled away , his fingers still working on your clit. "that's it , cum on my fingers." he could feel his cock twitching in his pants , begging to be freed and inside your wet cunt. "fuck , you tasted so good." he gave your clit a kiss. "but fuck i need to be inside you now." he stood up , ridding himself of his clothes.

you took off your clothes , waiting for him. "you look so good." he climbed on to the bed. "ass up princess." he man handled your body into position , forcing you body into a arch. "that's it , keep it arched." he stroked his cock , lining it up with your waiting hole. "fu-fuck jaemin." you whined. "hurry up." he scoffed , slapping your ass , make you jolt forward , but he held your hips. "so fucking needy." he guided his cock into you. "fuck your pussy is so tight."

he let out a gutteral moan as he bottomed out. "shit." he pulled out , slamming back in. "fuck!" you gripped the sheets as he repeatedly fucked into your cunt. "fuck." he cursed. "your pussy is so fucking wet." he slapped your ass , watching it bounce against his pelvis. "sh-shit , look at that ass go."

"made me work -fuck- so hard for this pussy." he slapped your ass again. "whole time you wanted my cock just as much." he pushed your head down in the pillow. "didn't take much to have you dumb on my cock." you were a mess , drooling. "shit , you're gonna cum for me?" you nodded. "beg for it."

you cursed , trying to fuck yourself back on him. "no , i said beg." he slapped your ass. "cmon , beg like a whore for me and you can cum." you finally caved , moaning out his name. "please jaemin , please let me cum." you were close to tears , desperate to cum. "go a head and cum." you gripped the sheets, you legs shaking as you came. "fuck."

he thrusted a few more times , before pulling out , cumming on your back. "fuck." he sighed , you fell on your stomach , trying to catch your breath. "look at you princess all fucked out."

"shut up." he laughed , grabbing a towel off your chair , wiping your back clean. "did a number on you , you can barely move." he said , you scoffed. "fuck you , i can so." you attempted to move , only to fall on the bed , he laughed. "shit." you rolled your eyes. "get out of my apartment."

"what if i wanted to cuddle?" he pouted. "na jaemin? cuddling?" you scoffed. "please im the after care king." he boasted. "maybe another time , sieun might come home." you watched him put his clothes on. "next time?" he smirked. "on i can find someone else if you'd like." you said.

"please after the way i just fucked you , i know you'll be crawling back for more." you scoffed. "so presumptuous na jaemin." he laughed. "and we're back to first and last names." you nodded. "so cold princess." he put his jacket it on. "i'll text you later."

"i won't pick up." he laughed.

"trust me i know you will."

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TAGLIST (CLOSED). @nominsgirl @haechansbbg @axo-l0tl @darlingz99 @hollxe1 @lostinneocity @lovebuglissas @stars4yulia @syzavxy @kgyam4 @trashx678 @jarrofkookie @fae-renjun @thisisnotjancita@irinayobitch@cloudmrk @chenlesfeetpic@iheartjayke @foxy-kitsune @kriizztin @bugcattie

©️LUVYENI

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writemekpop · 1 year

Text

Confession (Part 1) | Jung Jaehyun & Nakamoto Yuta

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader, Yuta x Reader

Summary: Ever since you became pregnant, Jaehyun won't fuck you. You turn to Yuta for a shoulder to cry on... that becomes something more.

Genre: Husband!Jaehyun, serious angst, suggestive, borderline abusive behaviour from Jae tbh, bad boy college friend!Yuta

Word Count: 1.2k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 💋

“Jessica! Riya! No, no… Alina!”

Jaehyun shook his head, frowning. “Let’s keep thinking.”

You snuggled deeper under the covers. “But Jae, we only have three months left till the baby comes! We need to think of a name.”

“Hmm… how about Maya?” Jaehyun said.

“Maya Jung…” you paused. “I like it!”

Jaehyun placed a kiss on your forehead and shuffled back to his side of the bed. He picked up his book and started reading.

You watched Jaehyun as he became engrossed in his book. His chestnut brown hair curled handsomely over his forehead, and his biceps bulged under his T shirt. Your stomach fluttered with need.

Jaehyun hadn’t seen you naked since the pregnancy had changed your body, but right now, you couldn’t care less. You hadn’t been together in so long – you’d almost forgotten the feeling of him inside you.

You leant as close as your swollen belly would allow.

“Jaehyun, put your book down. Mama needs you…” you whispered. You trailed your fingers up his arm, over his collarbones, to his soft lips.

Jaehyun pulled your hand away. “Not now, Y/n.”

You sighed. “Come on, baby…” “I said not now,” he snapped.

“You’re never in the mood anymore!” you returned.

Without even looking up from his book, Jaehyun muttered, “Can you fucking understand English? Not. Now.”

Frustration bubbling up, you snatched the book from his hands and chucked it onto the floor.

Jaehyun frowned, but before he could say anything, you smashed your lips onto his and kissed him.

You shuffled closer, and pulled your night dress over your head. The cold air made your nipples stand up.

Jaehyun’s eyes raked over your naked body… and a light shudder of disgust ran through him.

Before your pregnancy, Jaehyun would look at you like you were the Mona Lisa. Everything had changed.

You followed his eyes to a maze of stretch marks that started on your hip and went up to your swollen belly.

“I’m like a tiger,” you said, trying to lighten the mood.

Jaehyun gave you a tight smile.

You crossed your arms. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

Jaehyun blinked. “If we have to do this… can we turn off the lights first?”

You frowned, but turned off the lamp anyway.

You pushed the niggling feeling of dread in your stomach down and curled your arms around Jaehyun’s shoulder. Then you kissed him, hard.

You felt Jaehyun’s hands skirt tentatively over your tummy. Disappointingly, he didn’t move his hands any lower.

Jaehyun stayed stiff, unmoving, barely kissing you back.

You were beginning to get impatient. You reached into his lap and slipped your hands inside his boxers. To your surprise, he was completely soft.

You struggled to hide your gasp.

In the ten years you’ve been with Jaehyun – four years of college and six years as husband and wife – he’d never been unable to get an erection.

“Is something… wrong?”

Jaehyun sighed. He moved you off his lap and switched on the light.

“I just can’t get into it. None of the pregnancy books said you’d get all-“

“All what?” you snapped.

Jaehyun bit his lip. “All… bulgy.”

You pulled the sheet over your body, cheeks burning.

Jaehyun wiped the sweat off his brow. “Can we try tomorrow night?”

“We have Yuta’s party,” you mumbled.

“Oh yeah,” Jaehyun said, shifting onto his side. “Well… good night.”

You sniffed. “Night.”

---

The next evening, you and Jaehyun went to Yuta’s house for his annual barbeque, a tradition he’d had since your college days.

Yuta pulled the door open, smirking. His hair was jet black and spiky, and he had a beer in his hand.

“It’s my two favourite people! Get inside!”

Yuta greeted Jaehyun with a fist-bump-come-hug.

When he saw you, his eyes lit up.

Yuta kissed your cheek. “Long time no see, Y/n. Pregnancy suits you.”

You felt a shiver of delight at his comment. But it was quickly squashed when you remembered what Jaehyun said to you last night.

Yuta punched Jaehyun on the shoulder, grinning. “Can’t believe you knocked this one up… you always did have a crush on her, ever since that first lecture.”

Your memories of that time were rose-tinted, like the colour of Jaehyun’s ears when he asked you out a week after college started.

You pushed through the room, which was crowded with people from college, desperate to use the bathroom.

You made it just in time, sighing with relief as you emptied your bladder.

As you were getting up to leave, you heard a voice.

You froze.

The voice was coming from outside the bathroom door.

“Don’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you, okay?”

It was Jaehyun’s baritone.

“Yeah, man. What’s up?” The other voice had a lilting Japanese accent. Yuta.

“It’s about Y/n.” Jaehyun said. “We’re having some… problems.”

You pressed your ear to the door, heartbeat quickening.

“Nah, it’s nothing man,” Jaehyun said. “I’m just stressed about the baby.”

You sighed in relief. Obviously, Jaehyun wouldn’t complain about your sex problems with someone else! He was a gentleman.

“Are you sure?” Yuta said.

Jaehyun replied, “Well… don’t get me wrong, I love Y/n but – I’m not… attracted to her anymore. She’s so… huge.”

You stifled a gasp.

“Damn, Jae.” Yuta said, chuckling. “Pregnant chicks not your thing?”

“It’s not just the fact that she’s fat. Her skin’s all marked up, and her tits are so saggy. I just can’t… bring myself to have sex with her.”

You felt like the ground had caved in, and you were falling.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Yuta said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. “Have you tried… talking to her?”

“Man, she’s so eager to get in my pants, I can’t get a word in. Honestly, it’s a turn off to see her so… desperate.”

Your head started to spin and you staggered backwards. Your hand caught the sink just in time, but you knocked soap dish, sending it clattering onto the floor.

“Who’s in there?” Jaehyun yelled.

A fist banged on the door. You saw the bathroom doorknob rattle, and your heart pounded.

Your voice was thick with tears. “It’s me.”

The banging on the door stopped. “Y/n? How long have you – been there?” Jaehyun’s voice rose with each word.

You pulled the door open. Yuta and Jaehyun were staring at you. Yuta shifted awkwardly and Jaehyun looked deathly pale.

to be continued...

—

PART 2 HERE

Leave a comment if you want to be on the taglist! 💋

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eliluvschan · 4 months

Text

New Girl

pairing: bang chan x reader

word count: 1.346

warnings: flirty channie (needs a warning) bully

genre: fluff

a/n: 2 updates in 2 days cause it’s my birthday week :)

i walked up the main gates of the college building. it was my first day of college and i was very nervous because i didn't like being the 'new girl'.

and besides that, it was my birthday. imagine having to go to school on your birthday and being bullied by bad boys all day.

i walked up the steps and reached my locker. i took my books for the first class and closed it. as i did that, i felt someone standing behind me. i turned around.

a boy who looked a year of two older then i was, standing there, he had dark eyes and dark brown hair. he was smiling and had cute dimples on both sides of his cheeks.

''hey gorgeous.'' he said.

''hello.'' i said blushing.

''hey, what are you turning red for?''

''nothing.'' i mumbled.

''i haven't seen you around before. new?'' he asked.

i nodded.

''well, see you around beautiful.'' he said winking and turning away.

i was surprised by the way he was calling me 'gorgeous' and 'beautiful' because i was neither of those things.

i put that thought to the back of my brain and moved towards 45 minutes of English.

i reached my class and looked around.

the boy i met before was sitting there and unfortunately the only empty seat was the one in front of him. i sighed and sat down.

''ooh, new girl.'' a tall girl said as i sat down.

''let's see, what's your name?'' she asked, rudely.

''Y/n.'' i mumbled.

''speak up!'' she commanded.

''leave her alone, Jae.'' the boy from earlier said.

''and since when have you been a protector of little snot rats, Chan?''

he stood up.

''oh, got a crush on mrs. new girl, have you pretty boy?'' the so called Jae said.

Chan blushed.

the entire class was staring at the three of us.

''what's going on here?'' said a calm voice and everyone looked around.

professor Min had arrived.

''nothing, professor.'' Jae said innocently.

Chan sat down again.

professor Min introduced me to the class and Jae smirked at me. i felt so shy, i wanted to melt into the earth.

after English, i went to get my stuff for maths class.

i opened my locker again but at that moment, Chan ran up to me.

''hey, Y/n.'' he said.

''hey.''

''listen, just ignore Jae-hee okay? she likes making fun of others.''

i nodded.

''what've you got next?'' he asked.

''maths.'' i answered.

''me too.'' he smiled. ''let's go.''

i walked to maths class with him.

we were walking down the hall, when Chan suddenly took a strong hold of my arm and pulled me towards him in such a weird way that it looked like i was hugging him.

i was really shocked. i looked up at him, but he was glaring at someone. Jae-hee. she had stuck out her leg to make me trip, but Chan had saved me.

he let go of me. ''you alright?'' he asked.

i nodded and we continued to walk as though nothing had happened.

''are you good at maths?'' i asked him.

''nope.'' he said smiling.

''me neither.'' i said, shaking my head.

we reached our class and sat in silence for no more than five minutes.

then Chan started telling me about the teacher. he said he has a big wart on his nose, which was true! i had to stuff my fist in my face to muffle the noise of my giggles.

i heard Chan snort with laughter behind me.

we got detention. we had to clap dusters after school.

''not too bad.'' i thought.

Chan and i went to lunch together too.

we found a table and sat down.

i was eating my burger in silence but kept glancing at Chan. i really started to like him.

i wasn't the only one though.

lots of girls liked him. they walked past him, winking, waving and one girl even stopped to ruffle his hair. he got really annoyed when she did that and glared at her.

she blushed and hurried away.

i smiled. he looked at me.

''what?'' i asked.

''nothing.'' he said, blushing again.

''hey, pretty boy.'' said a rude voice.

it was Jae-hee.

''having lunch together, are we?'' she said smirking. she drew up a chair besides Chan.

''so, what're we talking about?'' she asked him.

''what ever that was, i don't remember asking you to join us?'' he said unconcernedly.

i smiled at him.

''nothing.'' i said.

''nothing.'' she imitated me.

Chan pushed his chair away from her and moved it closer to where mine was.

Jae-hee stood up, seized hold of Chan's shirt and kissed him.

i gasped.

Chan pushed her away almost immediately and stood up.

''what the hell are you doing?!'' he shouted at her.

everybody in the cafeteria was looking at us. (pt. 2)

''i- i still like you, Chris.''

''well i still hate you, you hear me? you make fun of all of my friends, embarrass me in front of everyone and you expect me to like you?'' he called out.

''Chan, calm down.'' i said quietly.

''i can't calm down, Y/n!'' he said. ''i've had enough of this. just get away from me and my girlfriend.'' he said, looking at Jae-hee.

girlfriend? i said to myself. did he just call me his girlfriend?

Jae-hee had tears in her eyes of fury and embarrassment.

''you'll pay!'' she said to Chan and ran away.

''i'm not scared of you.'' he said.

he sat down and i rubbed his arm, trying to make him calm down.

he finally returned to his burger. he took a bite.

''you didn't mind that, did you?'' he asked, going red.

i shook my head shyly.

''well, d' do you wanna be my girlfriend?'' he asked.

''well, you are pretty cute.'' i said and blushed a deep shade of red.

''so... that's a yes?'' he asked.

i smiled and nodded.

''so, you wanna go on a detention date with me?''

i laughed. ''sure!''

we finished lunch and had a little time left so we walked around the grounds.

''Chan?'' i asked.

''yeah?''

''aren't you worried about what Jae-hee said?'' i asked.

''i didn't want to tell you this, but Jae-hee and i dated in high school and we didn't work out. so she got really mad about our breakup, and she's been saying 'you'll pay' almost every week since. and the most she's done is hide my pencil case in her desk.''

''not too creative, is she?''

he chuckled. ''nope, not at all.''

just then three guys jogged up to us. i had seen one of them during maths class. he was short and muscly. one of them was the same height as Chan and the other one was a little bit longer than them.

''hey guys, this is Y/n.'' Chan introduced me.

''girlfriend on the first day?'' the tall guy said as i blushed.

''you gotta go slow bro.'' said the shortest of the three.

''i'm Felix.'' said the one the same height as Chan. he held out his hand as i shook it and he smiled.

''i'm Minho.'' said the guy that was a little longer than Chan and Felix. he waved at me.

''i'm Changbin.'' said the shorter and muscular guy i've seen in class.

i grinned at the three of them.

''Y/n, these are the guys. since i'm the oldest of them all they like to call me dad. i have five other sons so in total i have seven, hope you don't mind the whole package?'' Chan asked me with a cute dimpled smile.

''can you guys excuse us for a moment?'' he added.

they smirked but jogged away.

Chan took my hand and we sat down at a bench.

''they seem nice. and no i don't mind you being a father of seven others.'' i told him.

''they are. the others are as well.'' Chan replied.

''listen, i really like you.'' he said after a while.

''i like you too, Chan.''

he smiled.

''can i tell you something?'' i asked.

he nodded.

''it's my birthday.'' i said.

he slowly moved closer.

''happy birthday, jagiya.'' he whispered.

he was very close now.

i knew what was coming.

i closed my eyes, and he kissed me.

#bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan x y/n #bang chan fluff #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #skz x y/n #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids scenarios

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simpforwebtoonmen · 9 months

Text

Long time no see

A/n: don’t worry, I see ya’ll requests and I will be getting to them 😭

Warnings: not proofread, dumb, might be ooc, I wrote this at 1 am so a lot of it might not make sense lmao

˚✧₊⁎ You were a friend among Daniel’s group in Jae won High. But with recent events, you haven’t seen a lot of your friends in a while. And after so long, Daniel comes to visit you to invite you into his gang. But upon meeting you again after so long, he couldn’t recognize you at all… ⁎⁺˳✧༚

You open the door to reveal Daniel, the smaller one. Though he wasn’t all that small anymore and was definitely thinner, and a lot more muscular. Honestly, you wouldn’t have recognized him if Zoe hadn’t shown you photo’s of him.

You smile and wave at him, “Hey, Daniel!” you greeted. He looked taken back and looked at you confused. He then cleared his throat, “hello…is (name) here?” he asked. “huh? im standing right here…” you deadpanned and pointed at yourself.

Finally, it clicked for him, “oh gosh, (name)!? Is that really you!? I almost didn’t recognize you! Your hair is (shorter/longer) and you have a completely new style!” he exclaimed, almost excited. You flip your hair dramatically, “yeah, I look good, right?” you teased. And despite you joking, he nods in agreement, “yeah, you look really good!”

After catching up for a bit, he mentions how you used to be fighter and how he would like you in his team (gang). You said it’d been a while since you fought and that you’d wouldn’t really be that much help, but for some reason Daniel thought otherwise. And with his cute face and nearly begging, you agreed.

And now you stood in front of the rest of the crew members. Most you recognized from school, but there was a certain blonde that you hadn’t recognized.

“Who’s this chick?” Zack questioned, nearly scowling down at you. You almost thought he was looking down at you. It was something he had done before but never did it again after the fact. You smiled up at him, despite his rudeness, with a hint of tease. “What? you don’t recognize me?” you asked him.

It only took the sound of your teasing voice for Zack to know who you were. “(name)!? What the hell, long time no see!” he greeted, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “uh huh,” you simply said, still not letting his past rudeness slide. He then lets you go and sheepishly smiles down at you, “you see (name), about before, you know I wouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did if I had known it was you, right?” nervously rubbed his hands together.

you hummed, “right, well, don’t let it happen again,” you warned, but it was more of a tease than anything. Though, Zack couldn’t tell through his fear, “right right, of course!”

After that you turned to the rest of them, nodding your head, “Vasco, Jay,” you greeted. “Wow, (name). I couldn’t recognize you at all!” Vasco said as he approached you, Jay nodding on agreement. If you were being completely honest, you couldn’t recognize Vasco either. He’d grown buffer, has a beard instead of a mustache, and he cut his hair, plus a few new tattoos. He’s also changed his style into a biker gang type style, along with Jace who you’d only seen recently as well. Jay didn’t change much besides his physique and expensive suits.

And now… you turned to the last person, someone you’ve never seen before. “(Name), this is Hudson. Hudson, (name),” Daniel introduced the two of you, gesturing to each person with his hand. “nice to meet ya!” you smiled. “Yeah…” he responded, keeping his face neutral.

Just then, Zack and Vasco started bantering about who knows what. And when things began to grow my violent, Daniel and Jay had to physically separate them.

Suddenly, Hudson stood next to you and leaned down, “You’ve known them for a long time, right? Were they always like this?” he asked. You nodded, “Yeah, actually I think they were way worse than this,” you nodded as you recalled the memories of all the fights they’d get into with one another.

Though despite not seeing each other for a long time, you were happy to see that not a lot has changed since you last saw them, well, despite their physical and mental improvements, they’re basically the same as they were before. You smiled as you thought to yourself, “it’s good to see everyone like this again. Some things just never change.”

#lookism x reader #daniel park #lookism #lookism daniel x reader #lookism vasco x reader #lookism vasco #euntae lee #zack lee #zack lee x reader #hudson ahn #jay hong #jay hong x reader #jace park #lookism jace

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8myass · 2 months

Text

.. valentine .. pairing. jeong yoonoh/jaehyun x female reader genre. angst pov. second person (you, yours, yourself, etc.) (‘y/n’ usage) synopsis. he’s not prepared to let you go just yet. wc. 0.6k cw. yandere!jaehyun, husband!jaehyun tw. mentions death, murder of a family member, delusional jae, mentions divorce a/n. fourth work for jae’s bday!! i have a love hate relationship with this honestly.

You had realized very early on in your relationship with Jaehyun that he was a bit… unhinged? I mean, to say the least. He had threatened to kill someone who you once talked to because he had suspicions they had a thing for you, so you were forced to stop talking to them, afraid of what your possessive and only slightly crazy, at the point you had thought it was only slight, husband was capable of, given that you hadn’t seen this side of him before that incident. He hid your keys the day you told him you were leaving to go out with friends, even knowing exactly who these friends were. You even saw him laughing at the television that displayed an image of one of your male friends who you had just seen the day before, Jaehyun hadn’t approved of you going to see him, taking that into consideration, it still made your blood run cold every time you think of what he said while still laughing, pointing at his picture as he talked over the news lady describing in full detail the way he had died, “Shouldn’t have went out with him yesterday, huh?”

This Valentine’s Day didn’t feel as romantic as the last one. You have been married to Jaehyun for a little over a year now. You met him through a mutual friend, which Jaehyun had made you cut off as well, ironic enough, because he’s the only guy you’re allowed to talk to. You were positive he would go all out, just like he did the last Valentine’s Day you shared. But you, however, had something extra special for him.

He had walked into the kitchen that morning, smiling when he saw a pretty pink envelope signed with his name. He walked over to it to pick it up, opening it smoothly and pulling out the folded slip of paper. He unfolded it, reading it aloud; “Happy Valentine’s Day. I’d like a divorce.”

As soon as he read those first two sentences, he nearly crumpled the letter in his hands, but he continued, “I’m staying at my mom’s tonight, my things will be out by the end of the day tomorrow so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“No,” he growled, somehow finding his way out the front door, winding up standing in the living room of your mom’s house, blood splattered all over the once-white walls. He had only just realized that maybe he went a little crazy when he saw you walk through the door with your work bag slung over your shoulder, a fearful look appearing soon on your face, eyes filled with terror.

“Wh-what did you do?” you stuttered out, looking at the lifeless body of your mother lying on the floor by his feet.

He sighed deeply as he slowly walked over to your shaking figure, “You’re not leaving me.”

You took a few steps away from him, avoiding his piercing gaze as you trembled with horror. You were scared of him now, there was no doubt about that.

“Why?” you choked out, tears bubbling in your eyes. You wanted to run away from him, but you couldn’t just leave your mom there with him. He’d probably dispose of her in a cruel and unusual way or he’d paint her out to be suicidal, like he’s done in the past with those he killed for you.

“The moment you abandon me like that will be your last,” he smiled sweetly, hand reaching out so a gentle palm was pressed onto your cheek, causing you to flinch, eyes shutting tightly which allowed tears to fall out, “Because it’s either you’re mine now and forever or mine never and always.”

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artemis32 · 1 year

Note

Yandere Eli Jang?

Yandere Eli Jang I

He's so pretty, almost as pretty as Johan

Also we're going to ignore the fact that this has been sitting in my drafts for literally nearly a year - I said I was cleaning out my drafts and that's exactly what I'm doing

art's 21st birthday celebration masterlist

Lookism Masterlist

Firstly anon, you have wonderful taste, Eli is gorgeous.

Secondly, yandere Eli Jang?? Big brain.

Right off the bat I can say that he definitely wouldn’t have met you when he first met Warren, Sally and the rest of Hostel. You would have come into his life at a later stage, when he first started at Jae Won high.

Like I said previously, you would have been part of the Baking department, meaning that the two of you would have met in somewhat unusual circumstances - unusual meaning it likely never should have happened.

The reason you first caught his attention was because you were extremely nice, but not just to him - to everyone. It was a refreshing change of pace to be completely honest.

He was used to the girls in the Beauty department and other classes fawning over him and giving him special treatment just because they found him attractive. While he tried to remain kind to them, it irked him that they acted so superficially. He was certain that if he wasn’t as good-looking as he was, people would never treat him as well as they did.

When the two of you first interacted, he truly thought you were acting kindly just because of his looks, something that had caused him to act quite callously towards you in the moment. It could have been blamed on many things, namely his bad mood and lack of sleep, but all that would have been is a cheap excuse.

You weren’t really phased by his lack of decency towards you, quickly moving on and not sparing him a second glance.

He brushed it off in the moment, too preoccupied with other things to think about some small interaction for too long.

****

Two months later, he bumped into you again. Literally.

You were carrying a stack of boxes towards the baking department, walking briskly despite not being able to see where you were going. To be honest, the collision was all his fault - not that anyone said it wasn’t.

He’d been staring down at his phone, standing in the middle of the hallway while talking to the daycare about picking Yena up a bit later than usual. He had started walking while his attention was still on his phone.

Exhaustion had a strange way of making people unaware.

Safe to say, his walk had been cut short. And your supplies had acted as collateral.

The two of you stood there for a moment, neither of you speaking, neither of you moving to clear up the mess of utensils and ingredients. Eli hardly dared to breathe. After all, it was all his fault. You had every right to be mad at him.

Only, you weren’t mad.

You heaved a sigh, one deep and disappointed, before crouching down and picking up what you could, placing it gently into the boxes that remained intact.

Eli remained frozen, staring down at you, waiting for the inevitable explosion of anger. Or perhaps he was waiting for you to turn sickly sweet - for you to tell him not so subtly that he owed you a favour - perhaps a date to make up for the inconvenience?

After what might have been ten minutes, you stood up, remaining boxes in hand, before turning to face him.

You seemed tired, but still gave him a small, tight smile.

“Sorry about that.”

Then you were gone.

His brain caught up a moment later as he stared down at the bits of flour and broken utensils that remained.

You apologised? Why?

Why did you apologise?

With a start, he realised that you had apologised to him.

By the time he realised what had happened, by the time his exhausted brain had caught up with him, you were long gone.

****

As they say, third times the charm.

The third time Eli saw you, nothing went wrong. Everything went perfectly.

It was three weeks after he'd walked into you.

This time, he was prepared. Or rather, he was in a good mood.

He was out with Yena, taking her on a shopping trip for a new pair of shoes.

Meeting you, especially outside of school, could be chalked up to luck - that’s all it really was. There was no other way the two of you would cross paths, so there must have been a deity looking out for Eli, giving him this opportunity.

It was a few hours after lunch, and Eli had decided that he would treat himself and Yena to something sweet. After all, things were finally looking up, that in itself was cause enough for celebration.

Eli’s grades were improving, he’d finally found a job that paid him decently, Warren and Sally had come back into his life and they’d talked through all their past problems, and now he had more help taking care of Yena.

Truly, he hadn’t felt this optimistic in a long time.

He decided to go to a bakery closer to home, not wanting to linger in such a busy area for longer than he had to.

That’s how he landed up in a small bakery about fifteen minutes away from his apartment. It was quaint, half hidden down a side alley. But for all its less than appealing characteristics, it was pretty nice inside.

The lighting was soft and the interior smelt of coffee and cinnamon, and there was an assortment of mismatched chairs scattered throughout the cozy seating area.

His attention was split between listening to Yena’s adorable babbling and glossing over the menu, so much so that he nearly missed the barista calling him forward.

Stepping forward, eyes still on the menu, he greeted the person behind the counter, bobbing Yena on his hip.

“Can I get a minute to decide? There are so many options.” Eli said with a light laugh.

“Sure, take your time.”

Finally having made up his mind, he looked toward the barista who was waiting expectantly, and froze.

For weeks he’d mulled over ways to apologise when he finally saw you again, ways to ask why you had apologised when it was so clearly his fault. He’d thought up a multitude of excuses, reasons to explain away his bad mood and rude tone. He’d played through different scenarios of how exactly it would play out.

Except, now that he’s stood here, staring at you as you looked at him with such a blank stare, he had nothing. Nothing to say, nothing to do - absolutely nothing.

So he did the only thing he could think of.

He ordered.

****

“Let me read it back to you just to clarify. One black coffee, two iced lattes, two iced Americanos, one kiddie sized hot chocolate, twelve croissants; six chocolate and six plain. Is that right?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

You nod before telling him his total and his waiting time.

He waited at a table in the corner with Yena.

Instead of worrying about what to say to you, he busied himself with his phone, aimlessly switching through the same three apps while he waited.

"Here you go," you say with a smile, one he feels he doesn't deserve.

"I'm sorry," he blurts out, mind blank, wiped of every thought but your smile.

"...Huh? What for?"

....

You don't remember him.

"Oh, um, I bumped into you a while ago. At school, I mean. I just wanted to apologise."

You give him another one of your blinding, too-kind smiles, and wave him off.

"No, that's not a problem, don't even worry about it."

He stares at you, though you're distracted from the conversation a moment later.

"Oh, I have to go, but here," you say, handing him his order.

"I snuck in an extra cupcake for your sister," you whisper with a secretive wink.

Eli feels his throat constrict as he stares up at you.

"Sister-? Oh, no- um, Yena is my daughter."

You stand there for a moment before shrugging. "Well, either way, she's adorable."

Bidding him goodbye, you rush back to the counter to deal with the ever-growing line of customers.

Your utter lack of judgement had to be what solidified Eli's interest in you.

****

Eli sees you a lot after that. You think it's nothing more than a happy accident, but he knows that he goes out of his way to bump into you.

It's not easy, what with all those women constantly hanging around him. But he manages, catching you as you run between classes, or right after your shift at the bakery, or even as you enjoy a day off, strolling down the street, window shopping as you go.

Of course, seeing him so often, the two of you quickly develop a budding friendship, and he has no qualms about officially introducing you to his daughter, or Warren and Sally, or any of his other family in Hostel.

If you'd questioned it for a moment, you'd realise how convenient it was that you always bumped into him when you had no other obligations, nowhere to run off to. You'd also realise that it wasn't normal - the way your friendship with him progressed so quickly.

He's such a private person, no one knows as much about his personal life as you do.

But you don't question it, thankfully.

Yena loves you.

Understandable, since you bring her treats and gifts whenever you see her. You even overtake the Hostel kitchen on one occasion, consequently making the entire house smell like baked goods.

His entire family loves you after that. And why wouldn't they? You'd baked enough to feed a small army, and you'd presented it to them with a smile.

You truly do bring a sense of warmth to their home.

Which is why none of them question or argue with Eli's strange obsession with you. They understand. They do.

****

Eli makes sure that you become very selective with your time.

He doesn't quite force you to do anything, it's just that he has a certain air about him - one that makes you feel compelled to spend the majority of your time and attention on him.

Not that you mind - he's wonderful company, doting on you in the best ways possible. He's open with his affection, freely giving you his time and kind words.

He's big on PDA too, quick to grab your hand or sling his arm around your shoulder. If he thinks someone else is eyeing you, he'll wrap you up in a hug, gently kiss your cheeks and temples.

Sometimes he deludes himself into believing that you, Yena and himself are one big, happy family. It's a nice thought, one that warms his heart.

But despite all that, you're still slightly distant, not fully invested with any of them. Maybe it's because you know something is off. Or maybe it's because you're both teenagers and you see this as nothing more than a teenage romance.

Either way, he doesn't plan on letting you slip away.

He deserves peace, he deserves to be happy. He'll do whatever it takes to protect you, even if that means protecting you from yourself.

This is all for your own good.

Beating up creeps who try to follow you home, scaring off people in your class who get too comfortable around you, even forcing you to spend more time with him than you do with your friends or at work - it's all for your own benefit. You'll see that one day, whether that's tomorrow or twenty years in the future.

You'll thank him for his forethought, for how willing he is to get his hands dirty for you.

But don't worry, he won't ask for anything in return.

He does it because he loves you.

And he does love you. In his own twisted view of the world, he believes that what he feels for you is love.

It's self-destructive and it'll cause more problems than it solves, but Eli Jang would rather rip his heart out than lose anyone else, lose you.

If that isn't love, then he doesn't know what is.

#yandere #dark content #female reader #lookism #eli jang #x reader #eli jang x reader #yandere eli jang x reader

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 4 months

Text

Falling Part Four | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Lana meets some of Jae's friends and you have your first close look at what Jungkook has become. Pairing: Guardian Angel f!reader x Fallen Angel Jungkook Word Count: 1.6k~ a/n: this chapter is a bit shorter but I wanted to have everything what happens at the party be in one chapter and that would've made this one a little too long (plus I'm not even sure what's going to happen at the party yet hehe. I guess we'll all have to wait and see 🤭)

The next few days are almost exactly the same, Lana gets up, we go to classes, she goes to lunch, meets Jae in the hall and they go to trigonometry class together. Lana tries to focus as much as she can while still taking shy glances over to Jae where he somehow always seems to already be looking at her which makes it even harder for her to focus and then after that he walks her to class. The same things day in and day out.

Jae has offered to give Lana a ride home a few more times when they've bumped into each other after school but she, like the smart girl that she is, hasn't said yes yet. As she sits in the place she always waits for her mom at she sees Jae and a few other guys who by the looks of it are probably some of his close friends walking up to her.

"Hey, Lana!" Jae calls out, a smile blooms on her face as she waves, waiting for them to get closer before saying anything. "You waiting for your mom?" he asks, pretty much stating the obvious at this point.

"Yeah, she said she's gonna be a little late but with the weather being so nice I decided to skip out on going to the library today" she replies and takes a couple of glances at the two guys that seem to be just a few steps behind on either side of Jae.

"Hello" she says giving them each a soft smile. "Oh sorry my bad, Lana this is Slash and Rocket, guys this is Lana" he says turning around to stand next to me so I can see them better. "So this is the girl you've been talking about" the one I believe is Rocket teases.

"You've been talking about me?" she questions, turning back to Jae who's ears seem to be getting a little red at the tips. "Um yeah, just a bit" he says scratching the back of his neck.

"Just a bit? More like everyday" Rocket continues, receiving a elbow to the ribs from Jae as a waring to quit talking but he decides to do it back to him in retaliation.

"He comes to hang out with us after he walks you to class so that's why we all know about you" Slash explains to Lana in a monotone while Jae and Rocket continue to mess around in the background.

Despite his clear nickname that I don't even want to know the origin story to, I wouldn't mind being friends with him based on his chill nature alone and I think that Lana agrees from the reaction she gives from learning this new information.

"JK is the one that gets on his case the most though" Rocket yells, earning a playful punch to the gut. "JK?" she questions. If I had a choice I would tell her to stay as far away from him as she possibly could since I know exactly who this 'JK' guy is.

"He's just another one of the guys in the group" Jae explains, slightly out of breath after calling a truce with Rocket and walking back over to us. "Is he the guy yelled your name in the hallway the other day?" she asks.

"Yeah actually, he was. Speak of the devil" Jae says as he looks past Lana and seconds later my bracelet starts to go wild again. Jae's wording although playful is far closer to the truth than he thinks but no one but Jungkook and I will ever know the truth. "Hey JK!" Rocket says, the ever energetic one of the group. (His nickname I can see now matches him perfectly)

"Hey" Jungkook says flashing a smile at the group, but not one I'm used to. This one is cocky and full of confidence that I can only imagine stems from his nature of being a newly materialized fallen angel. A deviously glint in his eyes shows when he finally takes notice of Lana.

"Hey" he says in a husky voice which I hate to admit still affects me no matter how much I would love to lie to myself. Lana simply replies with a shy smile and a barely audible greeting, clearly caught off guard by how handsome he is.

I get it girl, I really do but trust me, no good can come from falling for a heartbreaker like him. I would know...

"This must be Lana" Jungkook says and Jae stands next to her protectively, trusting Jungkook but also making it clear that she's his. "Yeah, you're JK right?" she asks, "Smart girl" he taunts, knowing that it'll get under Jae's skin. I swear if this man doesn't back off of Lana I will-

"Anyways, are you gonna bring her to the party tomorrow night?" Jungkook asks before Jae can scold him for talking to her like that.

"What party?" Lana asks, turning all of her attention to Jae. "It's a party JK is throwing for Jae since he's new in town" Rocket says, jumping the gun to bring some focus back on him.

He's clearly more excited than the rest of them at the thought of inviting Lana. Why you might ask? Honestly I have no clue. I swear it's like this boy is the embodiment of the energizer bunny.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to" Jae says, knowing that Lana's mom probably wouldn't want her there and hopefully taking some of the pressure off of her. "Of course she does. You can't have a party without your girl there" Jungkook says, guilt tripping both Lana and Jae. "Your girl?" Lana says again turning towards Jae this time with a playful look on her face.

Jae throws a sideways glance at Jungkook and he's met with a mischievous glint that I can probably assume is one of his new accessories to his personality and it's not something that I'm particularly fond of.

Jae take Lana's hand and pulls her away from the rest of the group as they tease Jae mercilessly still as they walk away but he makes sure to stop when they're far enough for the sound to drown out a bit so they can talk without an audience.

"Don't listen to them they're just teasing" Jae says, a little more on edge from the whole scene. "They seemed nice" Lana laughs, taking some of the weight off of Jae's shoulders. "You think?" he asks, feeling a bit better by seeing her unfiltered reaction. "Yeah! They're a little rowdy and not my average crowd but they were fun!" she says making eye contact and smiling up at him.

Jae visibly melts at Lana's reaction, thankful that she wasn't upset and is clearly getting even more whipped for her than I had originally thought. They've both got it bad for each other.

"Okay good. I was a little nervous when Rocket practically demanded to meet you when we were walking by and then with JK coming too I just-" "Jae, it's fine. I promise you I'm not made out of glass" she says cutting off Jae's rambling and reassuring him.

"Okay good" he lets out in a sigh of relief. "So what do you think?" he asks, anxiously awaiting her answer. "What do I think about what?" she says catching onto what he's referring to but playing coy nonetheless. "Will you go to the party with me?" he asks taking a step closer to her and brushing a strand of hair off of her face.

"Yes" she says smiling up at him, suddenly losing that shyness that she had when she first met Jae and replacing it with a funny feeling, almost as if she would melt if possible.

"Perfect" he says and just before he can say anything else Lana gets a text from her mom saying she's about five minutes away. "Crap my mom is almost here, I've gotta go" she says, rushing over to the bench to grab her stuff. He follows after her, smiling at her cute reaction and goes up to say his goodbyes.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" he asks, looking down at his shoes for a second with his hands in his pocket, clearly shy about the whole ordeal. She hums in approval and gets on her tippy toes and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow" she says and walks off to the pickup spot where her mom will pull up a few minutes later.

As Lana waits for her mom to get here I look back over at Jae and his friends where they are all giving him high fives, clearly congratulating him on the kiss as well as getting Lana to say yes to the party but one in particular has his eyes lingering on Lana, or more in Lana's direction as I can see how Jungkook's eyes are looking every where looking for something as he messes with his bracelet that he's been trying to ignore this whole time.

I can only assume he's looking for me but I can't tell what kind of reaction he would have if he were to see me already. Without a doubt though I know that he knows I'm Lana's guardian angel so I guess it's only a matter of time until we meet again. I just wish that Lana wasn't turning eighteen so soon because I still don't know what I am going to do when I finally have to face him...

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struggling-intuit · 8 months

Text

song mingi

an 18+ headcanon || of his reaction to you sucking him off

jooyoung || planet girl

wc || 0.5k

warnings || NO, MINORS, I SAID NO; gn!reader, big dick!mingi, he's insecure about it though, voice kink?, reader is a bit of a player, one-night stand, mingi is inexperienced and you're showing him the world

First off, this man looks like a fuckboy.

Sorry, it had to be acknowledged, and that’s why you like him anyway. Or rather, you like Mingi for the reason you’ve always liked fuckboys, and that’s how easily you can make them red in the face.

Don’t be shy, you know your way around a man. Up and down a man. All the way into your throat with a man.

Ahem.

That’s how he imagines you though, dressed up all pretty, making him blush with your expert technique.

Yeah, there’s a strategy to it and you’ve got it all figured out, even when it comes to his strapping member. You wouldn’t get scared off by any cock, can’t even understand why he’d be insecure about such lovely length.

Don’t worry, you assure him, I can take it. And you do, all pretty, sexy, serving intense eye contact as you swallow him whole.

You work the heavy underside with soft lips and sopping tongue, admiring the way it’s painted cherub pink stained redder by the minute, the way the lovely flush makes its way across his body to tinge his neck, chest, the tops of his shoulders, the tips of his ears…

He’s swelled to his true size now, a small giant leaking dew at the crown. Is this what they mean when they call it a third leg?

You really wouldn’t have to do much to draw sweetness from his pout, but you’d never half-ass it with a man like Mingi. You want him mewling as you taste his excitement, groaning when you bring his tip to your uvula, seething while you purr around the root, you won’t stop until you’ve heard it all.

His cheeks will be a beacon, the ultimate ruby for your collection. He’s not special, but in that moment he is your one and only.

See, Mingi looks like a fuckboy but he’s not. Doesn’t even wish he was one. Too many have taken his hand, kissed his lips, undid his zipper, and ran.

But not you, no, you get him.

He’s not scary, slutty, sexing up innocents with his too-big dick and throwing them away. He’s just a regular guy, awkward and nerdy and inexperienced and you get that. The gap is why you like him.

Mingi may look like a big deal and have one in his pants, but with you, there’s nothing to fuss about, just cock to suck and wow, do you suck it.

He should’ve asked for your number that night but his mind was all fuzzy from your mouth, throat all sore from shouting and sighing your name in shades of dusk. He was temporary anyway, wasn’t he?

The truth is that he should’ve asked and he definitely should’ve called. You spend the next few nights musing about the existence of such a pretty dick on such a pretty man. What would it have felt like to have him inside you, you wonder.

He dreams of the same.

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more ateez headcanons coming soon!

omg am i in my voice kink era? first jae and now mingi lol

#and it intuits #18+ readings #mingi #ateez mingi #song mingi #mingi smut #mingi headcanons #ateez #ateez smut #ateez headcanons #ateez hard thoughts #ateez hard hours #kpop smut #intuition #reading people

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strawberrysohn · 2 years

Text

attention - lee hyunjae.

you two hate each other...right?

word count: too lazy to count will add in later 😩

warnings: sexual frustration, mixed signals, slight angst, lots of plot, dom!jae x reader, a little bit of eric x reader (nothing sexual tho), possessive hyunjae (yikes buckle up hoes), sex against a wall, sex in a janitors closet, cute lil nicknames like slut, whore, & bitch, slight dacryphilia (gotta squint), praise, degradation, teasing, fingering & handjob, hickeys...lots of hickeys...

https://strawberrysohn.tumblr.com/post/678709061472157696/like-you-hate-me-lee-hyunjae (part one please read before this part)

you walk into school that monday, head held high. you walk past the group of cheerleaders by their lockers - he had been with all of them already. all in different places and positions. you recalled hearing how he fucked one of them in his car, one of them in the showers, and another sucked him off during study hall.

you chuckle to yourself realizing just how much of a manwhore hyunjae was. it humored you, really.

“i already told you, eric,” you hear his voice and you stop in your tracks. your eyes search rapidly for him until they finally spot him, standing at his locker. his friend, eric was beside him, as always. “i didn’t fuck anyone at the party.”

your eyes widen as you inch a tiny bit closer to eavesdrop more.

“that’s so unlike you!” the blonde boy exclaims. you watch as hyunjae closes his locker rather loudly. “last party you had, you told me you were with three girls in one night.”

you cringe at that. god, he was a whore.

“yeah, well, this time i wasn’t with anyone,” hyunjae speaks. you notice that he doesn’t meet his friend’s eyes. “it’s not that big of a deal.”

you walk away to your own locker, replaying his words in your head. why was he lying? was he ashamed to have been with you? is that why he had left so suddenly after? and why did you care so much?

the only class you had with hyunjae was honors english. and you sat diagonal from him, giving you the perfect view of him at all times. not like you wanted to look at him, or anything.

hyunjae arrives to class later than usual, but still before the bell. if it were under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t bat an eye. but, by looking at his slightly messy appearance (tousled hair, untucked shirt, etc) you knew why he had shown up so late.

the male walks briskly to his seat, not bothering to look in your direction at all. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little bit of jealousy towards whoever the lucky lady he had just fucked was.

you try to focus on your class, but you can't help but get distracted mid-lesson by the boy diagonal from you.

he really did look lovely while concentrating. was he always this attractive? you didn't think so. maybe it was just the post-sex euphoria still lingering around inside you. you didn't pay too much mind to your thoughts as you exit the classroom with everyone else when the bell rings.

hyunjae rushes past you, his shoulder brushing against yours ever so slightly.

and somehow, that one slight touch made you even more frustrated.

you creep through the crowd to your next class, your feet unintentionally dragging behind you. he disappears into the crowd of students heading to their next classes and you let out a sigh.

getting his attention again could prove to be difficult.

the next time you saw him was at the end of the day. you walked past him in the hall. he was with eric, of course. it was kind of crowded around where they were, but you managed to eavesdrop a little.

“what are your thoughts on that one girl?” eric asks the other, leaning against his locker. “what’s her name...y/n?”

you see hyunjae stiffen, but he keeps his composure. “she’s alright,” he speaks monotone. “why are you asking about her?” he doesn’t take his eyes off his locker.

eric shrugs. “don’t know,” he replies. “might make a move on her. you’ve never been with her, right?”

hyunjae hums and closes his locker, rather loudly. “no, i haven’t,” he makes direct eye contact with his friend. “she’s all yours, bro. have fun.”

you gulp as you walk away from their conversation. now, you had other things to worry about besides getting hyunjae’s attention.

now you had to deal with eric’s attention.

tuesday goes by, wednesday goes by, even thursday, too. but it’s friday now, and you know what you have to do.

you had given up on dressing nice (you had wore a skirt every day that week and still, nothing) so you entered the hall in your grey pullover hoodie, black leggings, and high tops, hoping your amount of effort showed how done you were with hyunjae’s stupid ass.

you don’t look his way as you pass his locker. you don’t try to eavesdrop on what he and eric are talking about. you do, however, feel a pair of eyes on you as you walk away.

you sit through all yours classes until it’s time for english, with hyunjae. he arrives on time, ignoring your eyes once again. little bitch.

but all throughout class, you find your eyes glued to the side of his face. you admire his perfect nose, his perfect lips, everything. he was so good looking and you hated his stupid perfect face.

you watch as he takes notes, his pencil scribbling on the paper. but oh, his hands.

you had grown a liking to those hands. those long, slender fingers. the way they held you, the way they stretched you just right.

no, stop! you internally curse at yourself. you don’t like him, you don’t want him, and you don’t need his attention!

you were lying to yourself. you did like him, you did want him, and you did need his attention. who were you kidding?

as the school day comes to an end, you walk briskly past he and his friend’s lockers. you didn’t want to hear what they were buzzing about anymore.

“hey, y/n?” you hear your name and turn around. your heart nearly stops completely when you meet eyes with eric, jogging towards you. he must’ve seen you from the crowd. “can i talk to you?”

you blink rapidly, thinking of an answer. “um, sure?” that was honestly the best you could come up with.

eric clears his throat and catches his breath. “i was wondering you wanna go with me to the basketball game tonight?”

you’re stunned, truly. when eric said he was gonna make a move on you, you didn’t think he was gonna ask you out.

you wouldn’t lie: eric was attractive. very attractive. and from what you had heard, he was slightly less of a douche than hyunjae was. so, what could be wrong here?

plus, wherever eric was, hyunjae was sure to be. maybe this was the perfect way to finally get his attention.

coming back out of your thoughts, you nod to eric. “sure, i’d love to go with you.” you respond.

eric smiles largely. “great! meet me here at 6?” he slings his bag over his shoulder. when you nod in agreement, he smiles once again, sending a wink your way. “see you then.”

suddenly, your plan was back in full swing. and this time, you knew you were gonna succeed.

“i’m honestly shocked you agreed to go with me,” eric says. he’s rambled a lot since you’ve been with him, but you didn’t mind. you found it cute. “i didn’t think you would like someone like me.”

“someone like you?” you tilt your head, pretending you had no idea what he was talking about. “what do you mean, eric?”

he looks at you before sighing. “i know i have a bit of a reputation,” he admits. “my friend does too. you know hyunjae, right?”

you nod. oh yes, you definitely knew hyunjae.

“well, then you know that he’s a bit...” eric pauses, looking for the word to use. you figured he was trying not to insult his best friend, yet still be honest with you. “he’s a bit worse than me. a little bit more of a...” he trails off again, but you decide to help him out.

“a man-whore?” you suggest, an innocent smile on your face.

eric laughs, yet nods. “yeah, you can for sure say that,” he pulls open the door to the gym, where the basketball game was being held. “he really is a man-whore isn’t he?” the boy hums to himself and pulls the door shut behind the two of you.

muisc plays over the speakers as the players warm-up on the court. you look at the packed, busy bleachers, wondering where you would be sitting.

but then you knew exactly where you’d be sitting.

your eyes meet hyunjae’s from halfway up the stairs. he didn’t look upset or anything like that. in fact, his face didn’t show anything.

you wished he didn’t have such a good poker face.

“hey man,” eric greets his friend, who’s expression changes once eric opens his mouth. “you know y/n, right?”

of course he knew you. you were the girl he had almost thrown away all his morals for. you were the one he had been wanting to talk to all week but always chickened out. you were the girl who had managed to drive him absolutely mad in one amazing, unforgettable night.

and you were here with his best friend.

“yeah,” hyunjae responds, shifting his eyes to watch the players on the court. he doesn’t even seem to care that you’ve sat next to him.

being sat in-between eric and hyunjae...was something. you tried to sit a little closer to eric, since you were here with him, but hyunjae...

as the game came to a start, your eyes shifted from the court, to the side profile beside you. you realized that this was technically a date and you were paying no mind to the guy you were actually on a date with.

you sit up straight and snuggle into eric a little, mumbling to him, “i’m cold,” you had changed out of your hoodie when you went home, putting on a short sleeve top instead. and just as you hoped, eric was a gentleman.

he lifts his own hoodie over his head and hands it to you. “here you go, babe,” he smiles at you ad turns his attention back to the game.

you blush at the nickname and pull the hoodie over your head and adjust it so you’re comfortable.

“better?” eric asks you as he puts an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“yes, thank you,” you smile to yourself and snuggle into the male. you notice hyunjae stiffen from the corner of your eye. his jaw was clenched and you could tell he was riled up. and he looked so hot riled up.

you could tell that you were winning this battle. you could tell that no matter how calm and composed hyunjae was while engaging in casual conversation with eric, he was thinking about getting you alone. and you could tell that when he would get you alone, that he was gonna ruin you.

and you couldn’t wait.

in fact, you were sure you’d make that happen sooner than later.

you pull away from eric’s grip. “i have to use the bathroom,” you lie, noticing the male on the other side of you perks up a bit. bullseye.

but you weren’t done. oh no, not even close.

“alright,” eric smiles at you. you felt a little bad about what you were going to do, but it had to be done. “see you in a bit.”

instead of nodding and leaving, you lean in quickly and plant your lips on eric’s. as you hoped, he returns the kiss, one of his hands coming to rest on your hip before you pull away, feeling a bit dizzy.

“see ya!” you stand up straight and wave to both eric and hyunjae and turn away from them, leaving their sight with a smirk on your face.

“what the fuck are you doing?” hyunjae all but growls at you as soon as he enters the hallway a little bit after you did. “are you insane? you have got to be out of your fucking mind-”

“shut your ass up, you dick,” you interrupt, watching as his eyes widen ever so slightly. you yank your wrist out of his grasp, ignoring the small pain that came from it. “this whole week i’ve been trying to get your attention, and you pretended like i didn’t even exist. really? that’s low, even for you.”

he doesn’t say anything, he just looks at you with dark eyes. you thought you saw fifty storms brewing in those eyes, but you kept your composure.

“you’re such a fucking man-whore!” you practically yell. luckily everyone was still in the gym for the game so they couldn’t hear or see your outburst. “you made me feel so good, so appreciated for one night. now i know you were just coming onto me for the sex.”

“y/n, listen to me-”

“no, hyunjae,” you interrupt him again, this time getting right in his face. you could tell he was caught off guard by the way he moves his head back slightly and by the little gasp he let out. “you listen to me.”

he stares into your eyes, his own burning into yours with so many questions.

“i don’t mean shit to you,” you spit at him through gritted teeth. “and you don’t mean shit to me.” you poke his chest hard with every word. “i mean it! i hate you!”

“y/n, please-”

once again you don’t let him speak. “you son of a bitch, you actually made me believe that you were gonna treat me differently than all the other girls,” you shake your head, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. “i was wrong! i was stupid to ever think that you had a fucking heart.”

this time, he doesn’t even try to speak. he just stares at you, his shocked expression turning into one of regret instead.

you step back slightly, lifting eric’s hoodie sleeve to dab underneath your eyes. “i can’t believe i actually fell for your act,” you sigh, shaking your head at yourself. “if only i just resisted. then i wouldn’t have had to have felt so good due to someone who treats me like shit. maybe then i wouldn’t have craved that attention from you anymore. maybe then i wouldn’t have had to kiss your best friend in front of you to make you pay attention to me. maybe then-”

his lips meet yours and suddenly, every lined up thought you had was scattered into an unruly mess. he was kissing you. he was kissing you. you knew what the other girls said. “hyunjae doesn’t kiss anyone he hooks up with. he must be afraid of intimacy.” yet, here he was: intimate and all.

his hands find your waist and he pulls you in closer to him, as you finally start to move your lips in time with his. hyunjae was kissing you. and damn was he good at it.

as his tongue finds its way into your mouth, his hands slide up and down your sides. you feel yourself slowly get weak in the knees at all his touches.

when he finally pulls away to look at you, you notice the usual stoic expression leave his eyes and become replaced by a more raw expression. huh. maybe he did have a heart after all.

“y/n, i want you,” he breathes out, voice hoarse. “i...i need you, okay?” there was so much need in his tone but also something else that you couldn’t quite lay a finger on.

your mind still foggy and your knees shaking, you nod. “ok-okay.” you reply. you pull your trembling hands into the sleeves of your hoodie as hyunjae grabs one sleeved hand and drags you gently into the janitor’s closet. how romantic.

the closet was roomier than you imagined, thankfully. you were glad it was less painful and cramped when you were pushed against a wall by hyunjae almost immediately after he made sure the door was locked all the way.

his lips find yours again and you return to heaven. your eyelids flutter from the feeling and you instinctively throw your arms around hyunjae’s neck, pulling him closer to you.

there was something different in his kiss this time around. whereas the first one had been sweet, magical even, this one was pure need, more intense.

while his lips move against yours mind-boggingly well, his hands find the hem of your hoodie.

you let out a small whine into his mouth, gasping for air when he removes his lips from yours and instead, leaves a trail of kisses down your neck.

“hyunjae...” you whisper his name as he starts to suck on the skin of your neck. you grip the back of his neck as your eyes close from the feeling.

the male groans against your skin, pressing his crotch against you. you could feel how hard he was and it made your pussy throb.

he leaves marks all over your neck, covering both sides. he was sucking and biting on the skin like a rabid animal, muttering something under his breath that you unfortunately couldn’t comprehend.

when he pulls away, he’s breathing heavy, looking into your eyes deeply. you feel your face heat up from his gaze.

“y/n,” he speaks. his voice was barely above a whisper, but you understood him perfectly when he said his next words: “i want to taste you.”

a familiar feeling bubbled in your core as you nod, closing your eyes to calm your breathing. “please,” was all you could say.

you watch as hyunjae drops to his knees, not taking his hungry eyes off of yours. the sight alone was orgasmic.

he lifts up your skirt, noticing the wetness seeping through the thin fabric of your panties. his eyes lift to meet yours for a moment before a finger slips in and slides the damp cloth to the side.

“hyunjae, please,” you whine, watching him with needy eyes. your chest was rising and falling rather quickly. despite being in this type of situation with him before, you were somehow nervous, unlike the last time.

you could feel that there was something different; something that wasn’t there last time. there was something in his eyes, something in his aura. it was making you wonder...how much more was he holding back?

your wonders and curiosities exit your brain quickly as the male slips one long finger into your aching core and you let out a gasp that shifts into a moan as he starts to pump the finger in and out.

“j...jae...” you moan out and he looks at you at the return of the name you had used last time. the name that he had grown to love, the name he had repeated in his head in your voice for the past week almost.

eager to please you, hyunjae adds a second finger and you lay your head back against the wall. somehow with hyunjae, the pleasure was always overwhelming, no matter what he was doing.

“add another...” you mumble but he hears it and he quickly complies to your request.

with three fingers inside you, hyunjae stretches you out with no mercy, making you squirm and whine, your eyelids fluttering from the overflowing pleasure.

his free hand grips your hip, keeping you steady.

“jae, fuck,” you moan out as he starts to curl his fingers inside you.

“feels good?” he asks you, though you can tell he already knows the answer.

“yes, so good,” you sputter out, feeling your high coming. “i-i’m close, jae.”

he hums and thrusts his fingers into you even harder, sending you spiraling. “cum for me, darling.” his eyes once again meet yours and his lust-filled gaze was enough to send you over the edge.

you release with a silent moan, your eyes screwing shut. you feel your legs start to shake as you calm down, your chest rising and falling at a fast pace.

when you look down again to meet his eyes, you watch as he sucks the juices from his fingers, keeping eye contact with you while doing so. “delicious, darling, just like i expected.”

“y-you’re so hot,” you trail off, gulping. you weren’t ashamed to admit what you were thinking anymore. “you know that?”

“mm, of course i do,” hyunjae responds. “why else would i be so confident, hm? why else would i be able to get any girl i want?”

you roll your eyes, shaking your head. “we get it, you’re a man-whore.”

“if anyone here is a whore, darling,” he stands straight again, placing a hand on either side of your head, trapping you between he and the wall. “it’s you.”

“my body count is anywhere near as lengthy as yours,” you admit. “so don’t act like you know what’s up.”

“mm, alright, fine,” hyunjae recoils temporarily before speaking again. “maybe you’re not a whore in that sense, but you are the biggest fucking attention whore.”

your eyes widen and you shake your head. you were doubtful you’d be able to keep up the act for very long. “i’m not.”

“you are, darling,” he starts again, chuckling under his breath. “you live for the attention. that’s what you wanted this whole week, no? you were so desperate for my attention and when you got none, you went to crazy, dumb, stupid measures to get it.”

“you’re just jealous i kissed eric.” you reply, staring up at him, your confidence not faltering.

you watch as hyunjae swallows, his eyes leaving yours for a moment, then returning. “i’m not jealous,” he retorts. “why would i be jealous? you’re not mine.”

“you kissed me, hyunjae,” you recall and his face falls, every ounce of confidence that was there before had blown away. “you don’t kiss anyone you hook up with. i listen to what everyone says, you know.”

hyunjae freeezes in place for a moment, seemingly contemplating what he wants to say. you could tell that your words had made him think more than he wanted to and that you had realized things you weren’t supposed to have realized.

“you can tell me what you’re thinking, you know,” you speak again after getting no response from him. “i want to listen, okay?”

he shakes his head, turning towards you again. “you don’t get it, do you?” he speaks, his voice rather shaky. “y/n, i have never felt this confused in my life, okay? one minute, i think you’re annoying, and five minutes later, you’re hot as shit.”

“well that’s just because you had sex with me.”

“is it?” hyunjae raises a brow. “or was it that maybe i realized something. something that i had known deep down for longer than i can remember, but i refused to say anything because i knew that no matter how nice to you i could ever be, you would still hate my fucking guts.”

“jae...” you trail off, looking at him with worried eyes. “what are you saying...?”

“damn it, y/n!” his volume and power startles you. your heart stops beating momentarily. when he realizes he snapped, his eyes meet yours and he sighs. "i just..." he trails off, his gaze dropping to just below your eyes. "forget it. it's not important."

"jae," you start, lifting a hand up cautiously to the side of his face. his skin was smooth, soft, and warm under your touch. he lets out a calm breath at your touch and clears his throat. "don't be afraid to tell me your feelings."

"feelings?" he shakes his head, chuckling. "there are no feelings to discuss. what kind of feelings towards you could i possibly have, y/n?"

"okay, fine," you hum. "maybe it'll help if i'm honest with you first. so, here goes. hyunjae, i-"

"i think i'm in love with you."

silence enters the janitor's closet after hyunjae's interruption. you stare, mouth agape at the male across from you. the same guy who had made your life a living hell for years...was now possessing feelings for you?

“i...think i'm in love with you,” he whispers this time. you look into his eyes and see a glassy layer over them. “i am. i don’t know how, i don’t know why. maybe it’s the way you’re always so passionate about everything you do, or...or because you’re so determined. maybe it’s the way you carry yourself, with such confidence. you know you’re smart, you know your worth. you know what you want and you take it. and god, there’s just so much more i could say about you and it still wouldn’t get the job done. and i don’t know when this happened, but i-”

now it’s your turn to shut him up with a kiss. you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer as he slowly reciprocates the kiss.

you don’t know why you shut him up, to be honest. it’s not that you didn’t like what you were hearing. maybe it was just that it was all too much to take in at one time.

your lips move against his with fury, his hands finding your hips almost immediately. his fingers dig into your skin and you can’t even complain about the pain. it’s not like it bothered you anyway.

alarmingly enough, he lets out what seems like a whine into your mouth. was he that needy for you? his sounds combined with the way he was rubbing himself against you told you everything.

when you pull away from the kiss, he pants, eyes not leaving yours for even a split second. "touch me," he practically begs. "y/n, touch me, please."

if you could've recorded the tone of his voice in that moment so you could listen to it for the rest of your life, you would have. his words were dripping in need, dripping in desire. he needed you so bad.

quickly, your hands finds his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping impatiently. you couldn't even say anything. you just wanted to please him.

when you pull his hardened length from its constraints, your eyes widen once again, not only from the size (even though you saw it before, you couldn't not be impressed every time), but from the amount of precum that had already come out. boy was he desperate.

hyunjae breathes heavily as you start to stroke his length at a slow pace, using his precum as lube. you watch as your hand glides up and down his shaft smoothly.

"no, no, look at me, y/n," he speaks, voice shaky. "please look at me."

you nod and lift your gaze to meet his. "better?" you ask, watching as he tugs his bottom lip under his top one.

"yes, so much," he lets out a groan as your hand touches the head of his cock for a moment. "faster, please." he whispers but you still manage to hear it.

you move your hand faster on his cock and he lets out the most lovely sounds. "yes, yes, like that," his words turn into moans as he looks at you with dark eyes.

the sound of his moans were like heaven to you. there was something so angelic yet sinful about his sounds and it had you reeling.

as you stroke his length at a fast pace, his chest rises and falls with every harsh breath he takes. “fuck, y/n,” he groans, his eyelids fluttering. the way your name fell from his lips so sinfully made you even more eager to please him.

“a-am i doing a good job?” you ask him, your voice unintentionally shaking. you were sure it was from the need clouding your head.

“yes, darling,” hyunjae groans lowly, nodding his head the best he could. “so good, so fucking good.” he growls the last bit, bucking his hips into your hand a little bit.

it was a bit odd, you must admit, seeing hyunjae this vulnerable. you figured his need had taken over at this point and you knew it was unlikely you’d get this side of him again, but you had your hopes. even if you didn’t, you were going to savor this while it lasted.

your hand strokes his length quickly, the sound of the slight wetness making you bite your lip as you feel the wetness return to your core.

one of his hands comes to find your wrist, wrapping around it. the other hand runs through his hair as he lets out the same sinful noises you had grown to enjoy. “shit,” he moans out, letting his head fall back. “make me cum, darling, come on.” he growls moving your hand with his own as his breaths grow more and more erratic.

your eyes fall down to admire his length. you thought you felt a bit of drool come from your lips, but you have been mistaken. even after seeing him before, you were still so impressed (but also not surprised) with hyunjae’s body. he was just so perfect...

his grip on your wrist tightens, dragging you out from your thoughts just in time to see white strings of cum land smoothly on his and your hand. and also on the hoodie that clothed your torso.

“jae, you got cum on eric’s hoodie!” you gasp, looking down in horror, trying to wipe off the mess. you didn’t see the male in front of you smirk as he catches his breath. mission accomplished.

“he won’t notice or care,” hyunjae responds. “he gets all kind of stuff on that thing. food, drinks, who knows what. don’t get your panties in a bunch, darling.”

you frown but nod. your hands fall to the hem of the hoodie, ready to lift it over your head and take it off. “well, if this is going to continue, then i should just-”

“no.”

you blink softly, stopping your movements. “wha..?”

hyunjae shakes his head. “leave it on.”

“but...but it’s eric’s...”

“that’s why,” hyunjae responds. “it’s his. don’t you think he’d love when you return it to him after it smells like me?”

you shake your head. “he wouldn’t like that at all, i don’t think.”

“very well then,” he nods in approval. “now it’s definitely staying on.”

you gulp nervously. you wouldn’t lie, seeing him like this was very arousing. something about hyunjae being so possessive...it’s like he was trying to remind you that you were his.

but...were you his?

he grabs your hips before whispering to you. “jump.” so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him a little closer.

your noses almost touch and you let out a shaky breath. even after everything, you still got goosebumps being this close to him. “jae...” you whisper softly. the tone of your voice seemingly stirs something in him. you grip onto his arms as his length rubs against your wet core. “please.”

he doesn’t hesitate to insert himself into you, making you gasp. his size still managed to stretch you out just right. “jae, jae, oh my god.” you chant his name as he stills, letting you get comfortable.

as you regain your breath, he looks at you, eyes hooded, lips slightly parted. he was just so entranced in your beauty. he looked forward to seeing you fall apart on his cock again.

“move, jae, please,” you whine, his heavy eye contact doing things to you.

“beg,” he demands, making your eyes go wide and your vision blurry with need. “beg for my cock like the little slut you know you are.”

“b-but...jae-”

he looks at you sternly and you feel that you might have collapsed if he wasn’t holding you up. he just had so much power over you...it made you want to curl up into a ball and scream into a pillow.

taking a deep breath, you weigh over your options. you could choose to not beg and get no dick, or you could throw away all your morals and beg for him like some desperate bitch and humiliate yourself.

you decided on the latter.

“please fuck me, jae,” you begin, internally cringing at your own tone of voice. “please, please, i need you inside me. i need you filling me up, stretching me out just right as you rearrange my guts. please, please, please-”

your words are cut off by a moan as he starts slowly move into you. no matter the speed, he still felt so good inside you, so right. it was like he was made for your pussy.

“fuck, y/n,” the male groans, looking down and watching as his cock disappeared into you with every deep, passionate thrust. “you feel so good wrapped around me.” and it was true. the way your walls hugged his length felt amazing to him. perfect, even. it was like you were made for his cock.

your moans spill out uncontrollably as he picks up his pace a little bit more, the sound of his hips hitting yours repeatedly filling the room along with your sinful sounds.

the noises you let out only added more fuel to hyunjae’s fire. “oh, you really are a slut, aren’t you?” he smirks, watching your expressions. he was in awe of how you could look so innocent, yet so sinful at the same time. it really got him going.

“n-no,” your voice cracks as you deny. “not a slut...” you shake your head the best you can while hyunjae quite literally fucks you up.

“mm, you’re right...maybe not a slut in general,” he hums in thought, his relentless pace not slowing one bit. “maybe just a slut for me, hm, darling?”

you were going to say something, but you can’t speak when hyunjae starts to pound into you, making your eyes roll back. you didn’t think it was possible to be fucked this hard, yet here you were.

“hyunjae, oh my god,” you all but scream as he rams into you at an inhumane pace, fucking you with so much speed and power you felt like you were gonna get whiplash (haha). “you fuck me so good. so so fucking good.”

“mm, yeah?” hyunjae asks from in between his rushed breaths and groans. “you like when i fuck you so good your head spins?” he lets out a moan as you clench around his shaft. “oh, fuck, baby, you’re so good for me.”

his voice was laced with so much dominance, so much power. it made your knees tremble. he fucks into you with so much need, so much strength that every moral thought leaves your brain, every faint memory of whatever happened prior to this slips away. all you could focus on was his cock, hitting everything just right and making you lose your mind.

“tell me how good i feel inside you, slut,” hyunjae growls in your ear, his words dripping with a breathy moan. “tell me how good it feels to have me pulsing inside you, splitting you apart.”

you choke on a moan as his pace slows, but gets harder, his thrusts making you bounce slightly. “oh my god, hyunjae, you feel so fucking good, you’re so deep,” you whine as his length tears you up. “a-and so-so...big.” your cheeks flush red with embarrassment while a devilish smirk grows on the male’s face.

“yeah? my big cock making you braindead, hm?” he regains his previous speed, earning a loud gasp followed by a moan from you. “are you my braindead little bitch?” he hisses directly into your ear before taking your lobe between his teeth.

your eyes roll back at his words, his delivery making your toes curl from inside your shoes. “j-jae...” a loud moan of his name leaves your bruised lips as his pace leaves you breathless. “...harder.”

“fuck-” never one to disappoint you, hyunjae starts to pound into you, even harder than before. he groans against your neck, before starting to suck on the already sensitive skin there. his noises muffle against your skin as yours raise in volume from the now doubled pleasure.

as he fucks you hard as you wear eric’s hoodie, his head races with thoughts. thoughts of jealousy, thoughts of longing. oh how he wanted you to be his.

“mine,” he growls against your neck, almost inaudibly. he half hoped it would go unnoticed by you, yet the other half hoped that you did hear it.

as his head races even more, every last thought blurring together, he somehow manages to fuck into you even harder, rougher, taking note of the way your noises come out more often and louder. his aggression fuels his movements as you become a mess on his cock. he was making you feel this good, he was the only one that could.

helpless cries of pleasure leave your lips as hyunjae sucks several dark, noticeable marks on your skin, pulling back slightly to admire the purple-ish spots on your neck. now people would know you were his. “you’re fucking mine,” he groans into your neck, but you hear him just fine. “my little whore, all mine. just mine.”

“h-hyunjae, c-close-” you stutter out your words, pausing to let out a few choked moans. tears fill your eyes as his pace and power tears you apart.

“mm, yeah?” he taunts, his own breaths getting erratic. he was also getting close. he watches the tears well up in your eyes with a mischievous smirk. “crying for me, hm? crying because i just feel so good, right, babe?” he’d be lying if he didn’t get off on the tears that were now streaming down your face.

“h-hyunjae, fuck!” you lean your head against his shoulder, letting your loud moan muffle as you feel your knot inside release, your juices flowing out of you and spilling onto his cock.

“oh, shit, babe,” the male leans his head back and groans lowly as he follows suit after you, releasing into you, earning another small whine from you.

sensitive, exhausted, and out of breath, the two of you stay there, panting. he was still inside you, but neither of you seemed to care. you lift your gaze up to look at him, only to find he was already staring. blushing and embarrassed, you try to look away.

“hey, look at me,” he reaches out, cupping your face and lifting it so you’d look at him in the eyes. when you finally meet his eyes, there’s that vulnerability back again. you’re finally reminded of what he said to you before everything else. his gaze falters slightly and you can tell that he can tell what you’ve just been reminded of. “y/n, i-i need you to know that i’m...i’m sorry. for how i’ve treated you. not just this week or this year, but always. i guess i just never knew how to actually act around you.”

“so...your first instinct was to bully me?”

he shakes his head and looks to the floor, ashamed. “i know...i know,” he nods at you, lifting his eyes to meet yours again momentarily. he pulls away from you finally, releasing himself from inside you, emitting a small groan from you. you watch as he fixes himself up and listen as he begins to speak again. “i’m sorry. i was dumb. i’ve just never found someone i actually had feelings for, let alone feelings this strong.” he admits, tugging his bottom lip beneath his top one after.

you take a moment to process his words. he seemed sincere. “jae...this is a lot,” you tell him, sighing. “i mean, i go through the last who knows how many years thinking you hate my guts. and now, you’re...in love with me?” you whisper the last bit, the words unfamiliar to your lips.

“i understand that it’s confusing,” he averts his eyes elsewhere. “i just didn’t know what to do with myself or my feelings.”

you don’t say anything and just keep your gaze to the ground.

taking your silence as a sign to continue, he takes a deep breath. "y/n, just...just one chance is all i ask for." he spoke more calmly now, no more rushed sentenced with no time to breathe. he was "i want to prove to you that i can be a better man for you."

you smile softly. he sounded so genuine. he was being so genuine. the tenderness, the emotion in his eyes. it was beautiful. he was beautiful. and you could finally see it clearly. he was beautiful. maybe more on the outside than on the inside, but you knew he was going to try.

"i...i really like you, hyunjae," you explain, noticing how you have his full, undivided attention as soon as you start to speak. "a lot. and i love the way you make me feel. because let's be honest here, you make me feel really, really good. like, so good i-"

"don't get me going again, y/n," the male warns, closing his eyes momentarily. he appeared to be thinking.

you sigh. "right, well, i guess i'm just...confused."

hyunjae tilts his head slightly to the left. "confused? why is that?" he hums, lifting a finger to your cheek and caressing the skin softly.

"i...heard you telling eric that you didn't sleep with anyone at the party," you inform him. his eyes widen a bit and realization hits his face. "i thought that maybe you were...ashamed of me? like, i'm not pretty enough or popular enough to be known as a member of your elite list of people you've been with, or some-"

once again, the male cuts you off with a kiss. a sweet one this time. you melt into his touch as his hands find your waist, holding onto you firmly, but also gently. like he didn’t want to hurt you but also wanted you to know that he was never ever gonna let you go.

"y/n, my darling," he begins once he's pulled away from your lips. "i did that to protect your image. word gets around super fast at this school. i tell one person that we fucked, the whole school knows by lunch."

your lips take the shape of an 'o' but no sound comes out. you just nod, looking at your feet. you were smiling like a dork. was he really that thoughtful and considerate? it warmed your heart.

"so, y/n," hyunjae clears his throat and your eyes lift back up to meet his. "do you wanna...see where this goes?"

"what do you mean?"

"i don't know, i was thinking we fuck around some more for a while, maybe try some new stuff," he freezes mid sentence to grasp your hand in his. "and then maybe i'll properly ask you out on a date. how's that sound?" he smirks at you mischievously, since he already knows the answer.

"of course, you ass," you roll your eyes but can't help but smile. "man you're good at talking, huh?" you nudge him in the shoulder a little as you giggle.

"that's not all i'm good at, darling." he winks and you punch his shoulder.

"shut up, dickhead."

"make me."

you lift yourself onto your tiptoes and attach your lips to his with a smile. as his hands find your sides, you wish that you could stay like that forever. but of course, you still have to give eric back his hoodie.

ahhh part two is finally out, sorry for the long wait everyone 😩 hope you enjoy <3

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