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taeyongers · 4 months

Text

Between the Hammer and Anvil (M)

pairing: mafia boss/ceo taeyong x spy reader

genre: childhood friends to lovers, mob au, ceo au

word count: 33.6k

summary: you are a member of yuta's mob sent to spy on a rival mob's boss taeyong who unfortunately happens to be your childhood love that you haven't seen in a decade. when you realize he's still in love with you, and you with him, you grapple with the reality of your mission. (also includes best friend jungwoo and brief Johnny appearance)

warnings: blood, guns, gunfights, illicit activities, minor to medium injuries, physical violence, kidnapping, mentions of death, explicit sexual content, subyong and domyong and everything in between, oral (m. and f. receiving), slight hair pulling and breathplay, semi public (office) smut. healthy relationship though (besides the spying), accidental pregnancy. minors dni.

“The Scorpion?” You echo. The name is big, feared, and known throughout the criminal world, but never you thought you’d take him on.

“Yes. We need to infiltrate his base.” Your boss, Yuta, speaks busily while sifting through folders on his desk.

“That’s a bold move. He’s the most powerful mob boss in the city.”

“We have no choice. They’ve slowly been taking over our territories. I know we are big in the city as well, second only to him, but he’s too powerful to fight head on. We need to turn the tide against him before we’re nearly wiped out, and we do that by infiltrating his base.” He glances at you. “We need to get intel from there directly so we can figure out how to sabotage his operations, eliminate his members, and hit him where it hurts. Then, with the most powerful organization crumbling, we can take over.”

You mull the idea over in your mind. It’s a good idea in theory but you can’t imagine how you can possibly put it into action. “Do you know where his base is?” He shakes his head. You snort. “No offense, Yuta, but for all your wittiness, this plan is foolhardy. Not to mention risky. How do you intend on infiltrating him? He’s smart, powerful, and hides in the shadows. No one knows who or where he is.”

Yuta smiles. “Nobody did. But I do.” He rummages through his files.

You blink. “You managed to uncover his real identity?”

“Yes.. with a great deal of tracking and tracing through member interactions, we’re about ninety percent sure of his identity.” He seems to find the file he was looking for and pulls up a paper for view. “And I need you to go in, pose as a new recruit, monitor them for a while and then come back and report to me.”

Now, you laugh. “What makes you think they’d just let me in willy nilly?”

Yuta grins behind the paper. “Because the Scorpion knows you.” You freeze. He puts the paper on top of a deck of documents in a folder and slides the case file across the table towards you. The thick stack of papers come into view haphazardly, but the printed photo on top slides stops your heart. Familiar eyes, face, all from your memories. “His name is Taeyong.”

Your mind swirls in flashbacks. Taeyong. A childhood friend. A friend whose father was a mob boss. Your father worked directly under him and you were Taeyong’s age, so naturally, you grew up together, from elementary into high school years. It was always expected that he was to take over his father’s position. His father’s organization was far reaching, well established, and successful. Yet no one would’ve ever believed Taeyong was a mob boss’ heir. He was always kind, funny, full of life, and soft. You’d watch him fall from the jungle gym and cry, thinking he’s soft, much too soft. You wondered how he could possibly be related to his ruthless father while wiping his tears and putting a bandaid on his wound, secretly hoping his softness never went away.

But around high school, he’d suddenly grown shy, avoiding eye contact, avoiding everything, avoiding you completely. It hurt at first and then frustrated you to no end. You’d cornered him between the shelves of the library, watching his face painted full pink, flusteredly asking you what you were doing but all you could say was you’re my best friend, please don't leave me with tears in your eyes. He’d looked shocked, then relaxed, then apologized, finally, promising he wouldn’t. Painfully, painfully ironic because the next day was the last time you saw him.The police had managed to pin your father with evidence. Your dad suddenly made you pack and leave the state before he got caught. You recall crying in the car as you drove away from your home, your friends, from Taeyong. You’ve missed him every day since, even until now. Sometimes, the inexplicable aching emptiness threatens to swallow you whole.

Since moving here to a place outside police jurisdiction, your father began working directly under another mob boss. Twelve years later, it fell to his son Yuta’s leadership, while you followed your father’s footsteps after his early passing and joined to work directly under him.

Yuta was reasonable but strict. And when he was ruthless, he was terrifying. Fitting for what was needed in a kingpin. He used you as his weapon for many missions and was usually successful. But this.. this is beyond what you had bargained for.

“Y/n?” Yuta’s voice shakes you out of your stupor. “Do you recognize him?” You blink rapidly, eyes tracing over the very grown features of the once lanky, shy boy you saw last. The Scorpion. So, it seems that Taeyong did take over his father’s position after all.

“Yes,” you force out, voice shaky for some indiscernible reason.

“Great,” he sighs in relief. “I heard you grew up with him. We can use this to our advantage. If you try to join their organization, hopefully high up in the ranks. He might let you in easily. Then, you can infiltrate and we’ll have our victory on our hands.” Infiltrate. Let you in. You’ll have to see him again..

“No.” The word falls from your mouth before you can stop it. “I… I can’t do it.”

Yuta’s eyes narrow. “You’ve never refused a mission before. Why not?”

“We have uh..” your throat burns. “..history”

He raises a brow, understanding seeping into his features. “A lover?”

Your cheeks burn, and you look away. “No.. just friends.”

Yuta looks skeptical. “How long ago?”

“Twelve years.”

“Good. That's enough time to be over him, or for him to be over you.” He continues rummaging through papers. You realize he’s going to continue with this plan. Your eyes flit back to the photograph, of Taeyong staring up at you, of memory flashes of soft, sweet smiles and blushing and butterflies. The thought of seeing him again, of betraying him…

“Yuta.” He hums in question. “I can't do it. Find someone else.”

He glares at you before scoffing. “You’re being dramatic. Just get in there, infiltrate, and get out. Find his weak points, things we can take advantage of.” Yuta drops the other papers onto the table. “I can’t find someone else to do it. You’re the only one he won't suspect since he knows you.” You hesitate. He leans forward. “You’re telling me that you’d betray us, after a decade, for a boy you had a crush on in childhood?”

“Of course not!” You say, but uncertainty flares in your chest. You are fiercely loyal to Yuta. You can’t imagine betraying him for anyone else.. but this is different territory.

“Good. All you have to do is remember your allegiance and get intel and come back in a month.”

A month.. you will have to interact with taeyong for a month. “And how will I join them if I don’t know where their base is?”

“Easy. You talk to their recruiter.” He says, filing all the papers back into the folder. “I had one of our guys spread the word around about a daughter of a former mob member who has great skills for illegal activities. It’s only a matter of time before they call you.”

You snort. “Wow, you even gave them my phone number?”

“I don’t need to. They’ll trace you on their own.” He answers distractedly, gathering the files. “Why don’t you take the next week off? I don’t want you here when they trace your number and location. Maybe hang around in a coffee shop or something?”

You watch him, nerves creeping up. “You’ve really planned this out, huh? What if I had said no?”

He glances at you. “Remember, this is our only chance to take down the Scorpion and ensure our success for years. I’m not going to waste it. Besides,” he smiles, plopping the files into a near pile on the table. “You never had a choice anyway.”

...

You begrudgingly visit coffee shops, parks and other public places the next week and stay away from Yuta’s base. Sure enough, you get a call from a private number.The man on the other end identifies himself as a recruiter for an illicit organization. The recruiter’s voice was rich and sweet, like molasses or honey. You find yourself enjoying listening to it. He calls himself Jungwoo and says that he heard about you through his connections, that he knew your father worked for this group a long while ago, and that they’d love for you to work with them. You try to sound interested and accept, feeling your stomach churn all the while. You are that much closer to seeing Taeyong after over a decade. He tells you to go to a specific location in the city from where he will pick you up. You follow his directions and within an hour, you’re climbing into a sleek black van with a young, handsome man and driving down the highway.

“We know about your father. He was a well respected man. It’s a shame what happened,” he recounts.

“Yeah, a shame.” You reply distantly, your mind only on the idea of seeing Taeyong after all these years and spy and subsequently betray him. Your stomach churns more.

“Were you okay after that? Did you go into hiding?”

“Uh.. yeah. The police never managed to catch my dad once we left this area.” You are careful to leave out the part where you got involved with another mob, unknowingly the rival of Taeyong’s.

“That’s good. It’s nice that you can return here now.” He smiles at you. You inspect him. Is everyone working under Taeyong going to be this nice?

“When I join.. do you know what position I’ll be or… or who I’ll work under?”

He hums in thought. “Well, since you’re a fresh recruit, you’ll be at the bottom of the hierarchy. Give it a few years and you’ll work your way up. You may even work directly under the boss.”

A few years? You will never get valuable intel for Yuta while working as a simple recruit. You need to be higher up than that to get valuable information. The gears in your mind turn until you play the only card you have. “Is there a Taeyong there?”

Jungwoo freezes, eyes flitting to you suspiciously. Nobody is supposed to know who the boss is, so you’re hoping to play it off like a coincidence “Taeyong? How do you know him?” He asks guardedly.

“We were friends when my father worked directly under his father. I was wondering if he was still here.” Jungwoo’s brows furrow, and you explain further. “Yes, we grew up together.”

Jungwoo gives you a once over before carefully acquiescing. “Yes.. there might be someone like that there. I’ll have to double check our members’ list when we get inside. We’re almost here anyway.” He pulls the car into the lot of a large building that looks like a typical financial office building. Jungwoo parks his car and takes you through the doors, past reception and towards the elevators. The lobby is filled with people who look like office workers, dressed in formal wear and carrying briefcases and files. You figure it’s a nice camouflage for the real happenings of this building. Yuta’s group is mainly hidden underground in the slums and didn’t need this much of a cover. Once in the elevators, you both go to the highest floor. Upon stepping out, you catch sight of the floor to ceiling windows in the hallway. You can see the entire city’s skyline from here. Jungwoo leads you to an empty office room with some chairs and tables. “Please wait here. I’ll uh… check if Taeyong is here and knows you.”

“Okay,” you say, watching him leave. The moment the door shuts closed, your heart begins pounding. You’ve rarely been nervous before, not even during missions or shootouts. But this is different, so wildly different, you don’t know how to behave. You settle for focusing on the stunning view outside the window in order to ground yourself. Not even five minutes later, the door swings open abruptly. You whirl around to see two figures standing in the doorway, making no effort to come inside the room.

One is unmistakably Taeyong, dressed in a suit and hair carefully combed back from his face. His face, that he grew into after all these years, makes your heart come to a stop. His eyes are the same, big and wide and wonderful, even wider now with the shocked expression he wears, along with his parted mouth. His hand is still clamped around the door knob as if it's an anchor to reality. He stands there motionless, eyes running over you in disbelief. Jungwoo stands behind him, slightly bewildered at his reaction. “Y/n?”

Similar shock and disbelief well up inside you. Your churning stomach turns into a butterfly garden. “Taeyong…”

Junwoo watches the exchange before stepping back into the hallway. “Okay.. I.. think I’ll just stand outside.” He disappears from behind Taeyong who dazedly steps into the room. He looks so grown and handsome, with the same eyes you’ve always known.

“Jungwoo asked me… if I knew a Y/n…” he says, his voice so familiar even after a decade. “All I did was just run over here…” He steps forward carefully towards you until he’s standing in front of you. With him so close, your stomach turns into a bursting mush of butterflies and tingles. With his dark eyes drinking in every feature of your face, you barely recall where you are and why you came here in the first place.

“I… It’s been a while,” you manage out.

He blinks, as if registering your voice. “Yes. You’re... grown up,” he flushes. “You’re beautiful.” Your face burns, and burns again when his lips fall into a fond smile, eyes running over your features.“I missed you,” he breathes out. You find yourself sucking in a breath. “Can I hug you?”

You pull him into you without a word, arms wrapping tightly around him. He melts immediately, hands pressing you closer against his chest. You sigh in the embrace, head resting on his shoulder. “I missed you too,” you say, voice cracking a bit this time. The daily, inexplicable longing you’ve felt for a decade has all been washed away in this moment. He squeezes you tighter, nosing your hair, so warm and safe in your arms that you never ever want to leave. It's a minute or two before he reluctantly lets go with a warm smile. He still looks so soft, just as in childhood, and it’s hard to believe you’re hugging a kingpin of a criminal empire.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He touches your face again, gently. “Were you just recruited?” You nod, pressing your cheek into his hand. “Ah,” he blinks. “Jungwoo?” He calls. The man steps through the open door, eyes taking in the close distance between you two. “She’ll be working directly under me. Give her clearance to everything.”

Your brain grinds to a halt while Jungwoo looks skeptical. “Will she go through the initiation?”

“Not needed.” Taeyong turns back to you, eyes softening. “Her father worked with us for many years. No doubt she’ll be just as loyal as him.”

Jungwoo furrows his brows and looks as if he’s about to say something. Then, he stops himself, says “yes, Boss” and walks out the door, closing it behind him. Taeyong doesn’t pay any mind. He’s still gazing at you, smiling.

“So.. Boss huh?”

He smiles, shrugging. “It took some getting used to.”

“For a kingpin called the Scorpion, you still look like the soft boy crying on the playground.”

He grins playfully. “Do I?” You nod, chuckling. “I’m glad you still remember.”

“Of course I remember. I remember everything about you.”

A light pink settles on his cheeks and you know you’re right; take out the title and he’s still the same boy you knew. “Listen, we actually have a meeting right now with my staff. I want you to join.”

And suddenly you remember why you’re here, how this is a supposed golden opportunity as Taeyong’s mob’s rival, and your heart bleeds in pain. “Ah.. is it really okay for me to join without an initiation?”

“Of course,” he answers easily, trusting, always too trusting. He hesitates and seems to gather courage to raise his hand and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Your stomach bursts into a mess of butterflies once again and you hold your breath, not daring to move. His eyes are soft and you find yourself mesmerized. “You’re already part of this family, just as your father was.”

You grow unbearably soft, forgetting even the guilt as you gaze silently back at him. He does the same, and the air shifts in the silence. He looks like he’s about to say something before someone knocks on the door. “Boss, the meeting is starting,” Jungwoo’s muffled voice sounds through the door.

Taeyong blinks himself back to the present and smiles warmly at you. At that moment, you know more than anything that you don't deserve him. “Come on, let’s go.”

...

The meeting is held in a large room at the end of a hallway that is covered in crystal clear, floor to ceiling windows. You marvel at just how much money this organization must be bringing in compared to Yuta’s. No wonder he wants to take down this group so badly. As soon as you enter, all eyes are on you. A dozen men and women are dressed in suits and formal wear, as if this were no different than a business conference. You have to admit, they play their front well. Taeyong enters behind you and closes the door before standing in front of the room. “Everyone, this is our new member.” He gestures to you and introduces your name.

You feel self conscious as skeptical eyes burn into you from around the room. Given your experience with mobs and their initiation process, no new member should be joining the ranks so high up in the hierarchy, let alone be introduced directly by the boss himself to the inner circle. None of these people should know you yet. You should even be here in this room. And from their questioning glances at Taeyong, they know this too. Taeyong is either oblivious or ignores them by the time he’s done introducing you. You smile and bow slightly before awkwardly shuffling into the back of the room, out of sight, with everyone’s eyes following you all the way.

Taeyong seems to ignore the confused glares and questioning glances and starts the meeting. He outlines high level happenings of the organization, just as a CEO would for a corporation. You watch him confidently explain plans, ask questions to different people, and instruct them on what to do. It’s a marvel, and so different from who you knew in childhood. You take in his frame, dressed in his blazer and black button down and with matching trousers. A kingpin indeed. After giving instructions specific to each person on how to execute the phases of their next operation, he dismisses the group and everyone shuffles out. Soon, he stands alone at the front of the room, peering at the laptop screen sitting open on the table.

You saunter over to him. “You didn’t give me any orders, Boss.”

He looks up suddenly, a little startled, then seems to register your words. You catch the slightest glimpse of a blush before he looks down and rubs his hand across his mouth, obscuring his cheeks. “We uh… may need help identifying possible locations of a big shipment dropoff. You can work with Jungwoo on that. He’ll let you know what to do.”

You notice how he avoids your eyes. “Is that an order?” His eyes stay trained on the laptop, hands moving up from his mouth to scratch the back of his neck.

“Uh huh.” He suddenly catches you trying to hold back a laugh and sighs, ducking his head. “This feels strange. I don’t like giving you orders.”

“I’m just like everyone else.”

He looks at you like he’s about to protest but looks down again. “You aren’t,” he murmurs, almost to himself.

And if that didn’t make your chest hurt with an absurd amount of heart flutters, you would be lying. You watch him silently, not knowing what else to say. “I’ll get right on it, Boss.”His cheeks seem to tint that much more as you leave the room.

...

You’re supposed to be collecting intel, not helping them, you try to remind yourself as you find Jungwoo’s desk out on the main floor of cubicles. He greets you and pulls up a chair beside him in front of his computer monitor.“So, how was your first day?” He smiles as you settle in.

“Not so bad. I think the skeptical looks will take some getting used to.”

“They’ll warm up. Your situation is unusual, after all,” Jungwoo comments. “I’m surprised how quickly you’ve adjusted without skipping a beat. Almost as if you’ve been working for another organization all along,” he jokes. You laugh nervously. “Speaking of unusual, Taeyong seems to .. like you.” He eyes you inquisitively.

“Yeah. I’ve known him for a while. We didnt get to have a proper goodbye the last time we saw each other.”

“I see,” Jungwoo nods. “So were you together? Back before…”

“Oh no, we weren’t,” you shake your head. “Just friends.”

He squints, smiling. “Really? Because you two seem awfully close. I’ve actually never seen him like this before. I’ve been working closely with him for a while now and he has a tendency towards being on the softer side but he is never not strict and can be ruthless when needed. That’s how we become so successful. But with you, all that seems to melt away.”

You can’t imagine Taeyong being ruthless. Ever since childhood, and even until now, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind in everything that he does. “I think he’s just sentimental,” you wave it off. “It’s been twelve years, after all.”

Jungwoo doesn’t seem to buy it. “Whatever it is, it’s only a matter of time before he starts showing favoritism towards you and everyone will take notice. Actually, he already has shown favoritism, and everyone has taken notice.”

Your cheeks burn. You were supposed to not draw attention to yourself. “If you’re talking about letting me in without going through initiation, I think that was just a one time thing. I’m sure from now on, I’ll be treated just like everyone else. No special attention here.”

Jungwoo is about to say something before a woman approaches his desk, calling your name. “Boss wants to see you in his office.”

Jungwoo gives you an insufferably knowing look. You ignore him and follow the lady. She guides you down the main floor of cubicles and towards the end of the hallway with large wooden double doors. It’s clearly the room of someone important. She drags open one heavy door by the long vertical handle and ushers you inside. You step tentatively through and balk at the scene before you. Taeyong’s office is massive - as big as a house. The ceilings are two stories tall. On the left wall, there is a main desk area in front of three bookshelves and various art decor. An armchair sits behind the large desk made of some fancy high caliber wood. On the right, there is a seating area with leather couches and chairs upon an expensive looking, misshapen- shaped rug. Of course, there’s a marble fireplace on the right wall to top it off.

“Oh my god,” you whisper as you step in. Yuta would be fuming with jealousy if he saw this.

You hear a chuckle. You didn’t even notice Taeyong standing by the back end of the room, given that the size of his office completely dwarfs him. He walks towards you with a wine bottle in hand. “Do you like it?” He smiles. “It’s my favorite room in the whole building.”

You step further into the room, taking in even more details you didn’t see at first glance. The leather of the armchair, the carved ivy detailing on the fireplace, the nameplate on his desk that looks suspiciously like it’s made of gold. “Yeah, I can see why.”

He grins again, motioning to his wine glass. “I was thinking we can catch up over wine. We barely had a chance to talk today. And we have twelve years to cover.”

You smile slowly and nod. “Sounds like a great idea.”

Within twenty minutes, you two are laughing over sloshing wine glasses and reminiscing excitedly over old memories. “I could not believe you,” he laughs, filling your glass again.

“I just wanted to know what riding on a bus felt like!” You protest, lifting the glass just as he was done pouring to take another sip.

“But you got on the bus with no ticket at eight years old?” He gazes at you, wide eyed.

“I was curious what a bus would be like! I’m pretty sure the bus driver thought I was one of the other passenger’s kids when I came on so he didn’t bother with the ticket.”

He struggles, laughing between breaths. “How long did it travel before you started freaking out?”

“Like ten minutes.” He laughs louder, hitting his hand on the desk you both are leaning against. “I demanded to be let off. I realized I didn’t know any of those people or where I was going. It was a good thing the bus stopped near your house.”

“I remember you rang the door crying,” he giggles, sipping his glass. “I figure being so rich really does inspire curiosity in such everyday things.”

“Yeah, with all that untaxed money our fathers made from illegal activities, we missed out on a lot of everyday things, so I was completely justified.” You emphasize, watching him laugh again. You smile giddily, feeling energized and oddly proud you can make him laugh so much.

“Of course you were,” he acquiesces easily.

“Our fathers were always busy but do you remember how they’d just drop us off at one of our houses or the other when they needed to go to work?”

“Oh yeah, those playdates were fun.” He smiles, eyes distant. “You were genuinely my only friend back then.”

You protest with a noise before you even finish drinking from the glass. “That’s not true! Remember your ninth birthday party with all our classmates?”

He scoffs before taking another sip, his smile fading. “Yeah, classmates, not friends. Remember that one kid blew out my birthday cake candles before I could? And I just broke down in tears?”

“Oh no, I do remember.” You recount your sadness while watching your friend crying and then the burning anger your nine-year-old self felt afterwards. “Oh and then I-“

“Then you took a chunk of the cake and shoved into that kid’s face,” Taeyong laughs brightly. “You got in so much trouble. And you ruined the cake, but that made my day.” You giggle, remembering the lecturing by multiple parents and the annoying kid crying into his mother’s skirt with pieces of cake still smeared on his face. All that mattered to you though was that Taeyong was smiling through the entire aftermath.

“I didn’t like that kid anyway. He teased me on the playground every day, yet my mom invited him.”

You frown. “I hated him for that.”

He looks at you fondly. “I know.”

You flush a little bit under his gaze, then straighten up and blame it on the alcohol. “Remember middle school and high school and how awkward we got?”

Yong suddenly grows shy and scratches his neck. “Ah yeah… I regret those days.”

“Puberty does wonders,” you roll your eyes before looking at him pointedly. “And our peers not minding their own business while being extremely heteronormative and interrogating any co-ed friendship throughout the entire school,” you point your glass at him. “Which ultimately led you to completing ghosting me freshman year.”

Yong waves his wine glass in apology, approaching you. “I’m sorry! People wouldn’t leave me alone! Besides.. you were ah..” he trails off, looking to the side as he always does when he's embarrassed. You mentally note again how difficult it is to believe he’s a mob boss.

“I was what?” You press lightly.

“You were becoming really pretty and.. uh.. I.. was a toad,” he sighs.

You laugh out loud, reaching out to hold his hand in comfort. “You were not!”

“I was! Do you even know what fifteen year old boys look like?” He shakes his head as he comes to stand before you. “All the wrong proportions.”

You shake your head, smiling giddily at the wine flowing through your system. You set your glass down onto his desk and tug him closer by the shoulders. “You were perfect,” you say purposefully, but don't miss the way a flush rises to his cheeks. Whether it's from the wine or your words or both, you can't tell. “Remember when I cornered you in the library sophomore year?”

His eyes widen. “Yes! I couldn’t tell if you were going to punch me or kiss me.”

You laugh again. “But instead I cried and said I missed you and asked you to talk to me again.”

Taeyong chuckles, eyes growing sober. “Yeah. And I promised to. But the next day..”

“Yeah, the next day.. I left.” Silence fills the room. The muscles of your face are slightly tired from all the smiling. You realize you’ve barely registered how close Taeyong has come to stand in the midst of talking. Your hands are still on his shoulders. His smile fades away until now there's an intense look in his eyes.

“I missed you, Y/n.”

Your chest aches. “Me too. I missed you too.” His eyes dart between yours, and find yourself falling into them. They are the same sparkling, wondrous, soulful eyes you've always known, which have always looked at you like this. It's when these eyes dart to your lips that your mind stops working. A burning, fluttering sensation erupts in your stomach like it did when you were back in middle school, being questioned by your friends on if you were in love with Lee Taeyong. You register him leaning a bit closer. His nose nudges yours, hands slide around your waist, and his hot breath fans your mouth. You subconsciously tighten your grip on his shoulders, your heart rate speeding up, your stomach twisting into knots. All you have to do is angle your head up….

Your lips barely brush his before a loud knock erupts from the double doors. Both of you freeze and are ripped back into reality. “Boss? Something just came up. We need you in the meeting room.” A muffled voice sounds through the door.

Your hands retract from Taeyong’s shoulders with heat crawling across your face. His hands slip from your waist in return, his head falling forward in disappointment before calling out, “I’ll be right there.”

You clear your throat, cheeks burning. “I should go. Unless you need me for whatever that is.“

He shakes his head, rubbing his hand over his mouth like he does to hide his blush. “No no, you go on home. I don’t want you to be overworked on your first day.”

You gaze at him. He looks a bit put out and avoids all eye contact, frowning. You briefly wonder if he even enjoys being a mob boss. You lean up and kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He brightens up considerably, a smile blooming back onto his lips, eyes sparkling once more. “Yeah.. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

...

You return home in the evening, mentally replaying every single moment of that day. You swear your heart feels lighter than it has in years, as if the answers to all your life questions have been found. The world around you even seems to be a bit more colorful and you find yourself enjoying the walk from the parking lot to your apartment. You lightly smack your head. “Oh god, what am I doing? I’m a member of the mafia, not a giddy high school girl in love.”

Were you in love? Your cheeks burn, remembering how you shamefully melted at every single thing Taeyong did and said today. You even threw all caution to the wind and almost kissed him. You force yourself back to reality with a pounding heart. You really don’t want to know the answer to your question. You spot something in front of your doorstep and find a small cardboard package addressed to you from an unknown address. You step inside your apartment and rip open the cardboard flaps, revealing a brand new cell phone with a note. It reads: Activate this. Don’t take this anywhere outside your house. So, Yuta sent you a separate untraceable phone with which you can contact him to provide intel. You loathe how smart that man is. Groaning, you plop onto the couch and activate the phone. As soon as it’s set up, you receive a call. “Hello?”

“Missed me?” Yuta’s voice sounds from the other end.

You rub your forehead. “You tracked my location to figure out when I came home so you could call me?”

“Yes but mainly so I could find out where the Scorpion’s base was,” you hear him smiling on the other end. “And now I do, thanks to you.”

“Great,” you say sarcastically. Now Yuta knows where the headquarters are. You’re not sure if that’s good.

“So?” He prods. “Tell me everything.” You hesitate and then relay to him how you were accepted without initiation and are working directly under Taeyong. You feel dirty while doing it, knowing you’re nothing but a weapon to Yuta for selling out a man who completely trusts you. “Good. Very good. Keep doing this until you collect enough information that we can use to really hurt them.”

“…Alright,” you say tiredly. There’s a glaring silence from the other end. You sigh and adjust your tone. “Yes, Boss, I’ll get right on it.”

“Good,” he says before hanging up. You toss the phone across the cushion, feeling disgusted. What are you doing? How can you do this to Taeyong? You bury your head in your hands, mulling over your reality. At the same time, Yuta and his father helped you and your family when you had no one. You feel guilty if you don't do as he says, as if you were caught between two impossible choices.

You don't sleep well that night.

...

You return to the office the next day. Jungwoo texted beforehand asking if you needed a ride to the office but you figured you could take your own car. Once you’re inside the building, it amazes you again just how much like a typical financial office space the entire place looks. People are busy with files and documents, rushing this way and that in their business clothes, meetings are held in conference rooms, and telephones ring throughout the floor. What a mask for the sheer amount of illegal activities happening here. You find Jungwoo seated at his desk, working away already. He greets you with a smile and a pat to the chair next to his. You vaguely remember you’re supposed to be helping him pick locations for some shipment dropoff.

“Shall we pick up where we left off yesterday? You know, before the Boss whisks you away again?” He grins, teasingly. “By the way, I saw you leaving the office yesterday looking very flushed.”

Yesterday's memories flash through your mind, of the laughing and flushed cheeks and that almost kiss. You clear your throat abruptly. “We were just drinking wine and catching up.”

He grins into his coffee mug, swinging his chair a little to face his computer screen, not believing you for one second. You sigh and begin your work, asking plenty of questions when you need to. Jungwoo is kind and explains everything, their operations, clients, alliances, even the hierarchy of the organization itself. It’s a wealth of intel and you loathe it. You loathe having to know and learn things from people who trust you. You dread having to report it to Yuta. Your resolve in this “mission” falters by the day and you’re not sure your loyalty can last this week.

You barely see Taeyong today. You only catch a glimpse of him talking to a subordinate in the hallway before disappearing into his office. Whatever came up yesterday must have made him very busy. You try not to deflate. Once the day ends, you bid Jungwoo goodbye, give one last glance at the hallway to Taeyong’s office and head home. You don’t get a call from Yuta that night. After all, he made it clear that you are expected to call him and report any new intel you receive, but you don't have it in you today, or for any day for that matter. The evening passes by uneventfully and you fall asleep in your bed.

...

Like a dutiful employee, you return to the office the next day and the next, slowly getting used to the daily routine of the organization. You even begin to enjoy it. You are given the easiest tasks and are often paired up with Jungwoo, who you already know and who readily helps you understand things. You wonder how many new initiates were afforded the same privilege upon joining. Taeyong even invites you to his office again a few times this week for more wine and story time sessions. You’re happy to see him, but this time, you’re careful to keep a distance and not drink too much lest you repeat what almost happened the other night. Kissing him would make things… complicated, even more than they are now. You're not sure you’ll go back to Yuta if you do, no matter how much you want to kiss him. Taeyong seems to notice your distance and keeps a respectful space. You try not to feel disappointed that he does.

From the outside, it becomes evident that everyone else views you differently. They either avoid you completely or are overly respectful and almost treat you as their boss. You ponder Jungwoo’s words earlier, that everyone will take notice of Taeyong’s favoritism of you. The regularly scheduled rendezvous office sessions with their Boss probably aren't helping. You wonder if your preferential treatment will invite resentment from anyone. So far, everyone has been respectful to you, but by the end of the week, you get your answer.

You get your answer to two things, actually. One, your preferential treatment definitely does invite someone’s resentment. Two, you couldn't imagine Taeyong being ruthless. You said that before today. On the way to Taeyong’s office one day for another meet up, one of the male employees lingers behind you, the same one you’ve seen around with a perpetual stink eye and a bad attitude. You don’t recall exactly what happens, only that he’s spitting insults at you as he follows that steadily grow to shouting.

“Outsider!” He shouts. “You didn’t even go through the initiation and you’re on more classified projects than I am!? Hell, you’re probably making more money than me.” You shoot him a glare without a word. You’re almost to Taeyong’s office. The brute will leave you alone then.

“Doesn’t even have the decency to turn around,” he growls. “Fucking bitch.” Then, his hand is in your hair, yanking you backwards sharply against his chest. The pain is like needles shooting throughout your scalp, stars and tears bursting from your eyes. Despite the shock, your training kicks in immediately, and you elbow him in the ribs so that he keels over. He lets go of your hair, giving you the chance to turn around and go for a kick to the chest.

You don’t have a chance to do anything else before someone is throwing him off of you. He’s knocked into the wall of the hallway before he falls down. Taeyong is bent over him, clutching the man’s jacket until his knuckles turn white to lift him partly off the ground. He is absolutely furious, something you have never ever seen before, yelling something that you don't register. Then, he punches him in the face. Other people are shouting and running down the hall towards you three. Taeyong’s eyes are hard, jaw clenched, his fist cocked and pulled back as if to punch the man again. You step forward, hands finding his shoulders and stepping him away from the man groaning on the floor. Taeyong’s eyes are cold and glaring.

“I want him out!” He shouts, uncharacteristic, pointing past your shoulder. “I want him stripped of everything, all clearances, documents, his name on everything. I want him out of here and dropped at a police station! He can rot in jail for all I care!” People rush to do his bidding, restraining the groaning man and lifting him off the ground. An ugly bruise is already forming on his cheek where Taeyong punched him. You tug him into his office and shut the large door closed. The commotion and noise from outside is muffled here in the silence of his room. Taeyong however is still restless. His chest is heaving in anger, jaw clenching as he paces back and forth. He’s clutching his one fist, which seems slightly swollen.

“That fucking pig.” He growls, taking you back. You’ve never even heard him curse before today. “What the hell was he thinking!? Putting his hands on…” he focuses on you, softening. “Did he touch you? Did he hurt you? Of course he hurt you, I saw him-“ his voice wavers before becoming harsh again. “I swear to God I will-“

“Taeyong, hey, look at me,” you reach for his arms to stop him from pacing. He stops moving and closes his eyes to take a deep breath. In the next moment, he exhales and opens his eyes to gaze at you, his stunning eyes that you’ve loved for years. Your heart softens. You don’t want him to be in such pain.

“I’m sorry. I’m not usually like this,” he mumbles.

“Well, he got what he deserved. You just beat me to the punch.”

“It’s not that. I’m not this jittery or restless. I’ve dealt with worse than these kind of people before. I would’ve instructed someone else to restrain him but when I saw that it was you, I…” he trails off, eyes growing unfocused.

“Are you okay?” You cup his bruised hand.

His eyes flit back to you. “You’re asking me?” He releases another breath, thinks for a moment and shakes his head. “No I’m not,” his voice wavers.

You push forward and hug him gently. You wonder if it’s been a long time since he’s lost his composure. “I’m okay. I'm here and I'm okay.” You can feel him trembling against you and slowly relax, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you tightly against him. Then he gives in, inhaling your scent and burying his face in your neck.

“You’re okay,” he repeats, a bit shakily. You’re taken aback about how absolutely undone he is, how worried, how much he cares for you. It might even be a trauma response from you disappearing from his life all those years ago without a word.

A lump forms in your throat. “I’m sorry,” you mumble into his shoulder. He pulls away in confusion, his wonderful eyes roaming your face in question. “Not for this. I’m sorry I left. I.. must have put you through so much pain.”

His eyelids flutter, arms around you squeezing tighter. It’s ridiculously comforting. “That wasn’t your fault.” You stay silent, tucking your chin back onto his shoulder, heart feeling heavy. “I’m sorry for what that pig did to you.” His voice is harsh, and you can feel his jaw clenching against your shoulder. “He was always a shady guy, harassing other members.”

You pull away slightly. “It's okay, it's not my first time.” He looks at you with such disturbed anguish you feel bad for saying anything. “But I'm okay. I'm alright.”

He sighs and gives you a thin smile. Then, he blinks and remembers to let you go. Your arms detangle from each other and you stand there, gazing silently, before he speaks. “I’m sure you could have taken him,” he smiles.

“Yes, I could have,” you grin.

He smiles a bit proudly, then looks to the door. “I should.. take care of the commotion outside.”

You nod. “Sure.. and thank you.”

He looks confused then looks away, scratching his neck “You don't have to thank me. It was… well I didn’t even process what I was doing when I did it.”

You smile. “Still, I got to see another side of you.”

He flushes, looking away. “And you… you like it?”

You shrug. “I finally know why you're a mob boss.”

He smiles, his expression almost relieved, before he chuckles and takes his leave. When he disappears into the hallway outside, you feel an ache from the empty feeling of missing his arms around you. When you get home and Yuta calls, there's no information you want to give him. “What did you learn this week?”

“Nothing.”

Silence fills the room for a moment. “Are you serious? You’ve been there for a week now and there's no new info?”

“What do you want to know, Yuta?” You snap. The deceptiveness of this mission has finally taken its toll on you. Seeing Taeyong drop everything to defend you today is enough to make you not want to help Yuta again.

“I don’t know! Key operations? Shipment drop-offs? Members' names? Where can we hurt them the most, Y/n!?”

You groan internally, wishing you can just hang up. You remember finishing your task with Jungwoo in picking a drop off location for a shipment. You figure this is relatively harmless information to keep Yuta off your back. “They’re dropping off some important shipment for some high profile clients, probably government officials, tomorrow at eleven at the hotel on twelfth street. Maybe if you intercept them you can get that shipment and hurt Taeyong’s operations.”

“Taeyong? You’re not calling him the Scorpion anymore?”

You curse mentally. “Scorpion, sorry.”

There’s silence from the other line. “This information is barely useful but I’ll take it.” He pauses. “Do you remember where your loyalty lies?”

You roll your eyes. “Of course.”

“Good. Because the minute it changes, I’ll have you extracted from there.” He hangs up abruptly. It’s a threat. He knows your allegiance has changed. Although, it’s not as if you tried very hard to conceal that fact.

...

You decide to go in late the next day after lunch, mainly because you were tossing and turning awake all night. But the minute you walk into the office, the air is different. Everyone is tense and nervously mumbling. You approach Jungwoo at his desk who also looks more nervous than usual. You take in his bouncing leg and him peering at the computer monitor, reading an email intently. He barely notices when you slide into the chair next to him. “What’s wrong with everybody today?” Jungwoo startles at your voice, but instead of greeting you with a warm smile as he usually does, he looks at you sympathetically. You gaze at him, your smile fading. “Jungwoo, what is it?”

“Taeyong was shot.”

“What!?” you stand up so fast, the chair tips over and clatters to the floor behind you. He stands up with you, hands up in a placating gesture.

“Listen, he’s fine! He was meeting with some government officials today during our dropoff location and somehow, someone seemed to know he was there and that he was the Scorpion. They tried to take him out.” You are paralyzed, a wave of nauseas guilt hitting you all at once. “I’m not sure what followed. There was a scuffle of some kind, maybe he fought the gunman after being shot.. the details were unclear. It was a bullet graze to his shoulder and a few other injuries from the scuffle. He got checked at the hospital and they bandaged him up. He’s resting at home now. But he’s kind of depressed and won’t let anyone in, he said, though I think he’ll make an exception for you.”

Your heart flips. “Can I see him?” He nods and both of you hurriedly take your leave and get into Jungwoo’s car to drive to Taeyong’s home. His “home” turns out to be a ridiculously sized penthouse in a ridiculously sized high rise luxury apartment. “I guess the salary is good,” you mumble, peering up at the building from your window.

Jungwoo snorts. “You have no idea.” You enter the equally ridiculously luxurious lobby and Jungwoo escorts you to a special elevator that seems off limits to everyone else. “This will take you directly to his apartment.” He says, ushering you inside the elevator and pulling out a card from his wallet. “Just text me to let me know when you want me to take you home.”

You watch him scan the card against a pad and step back out of the elevator. “Thank you, Jungwoo,” you say sincerely.

He gives a nod. “Just make sure he’s alright.”

Then, the doors close, cutting off your view of him, before you’re taken directly to the top floor. With a ding, the doors open, revealing polished marble floor and ceiling. You step through hesitantly. His penthouse is much like his office, oversized and luxurious. It’s two stories tall with marble walls and floor, and a floor to ceiling window view of the city skyline in the living room that stops your breath. You wonder if he lives in this entire place alone, as you wander through the space. Somehow, you find your way to his bedroom and knock on the door. You hear a groan from the other end. “I said go away, Jungwoo, I don’t want-“

“It’s me.” Silence answers from the other side before you hear a small “come in.”Your heart leaps into your throat when you spot him lying on the bed with a bloody bandage wrapped around his shoulder. Other cuts and bruises litter his arms and face, and probably his torso which are obscured by his shirt. Tears sting your eyes. You see people injured everyday as part of your job but this is not bearable. Even worse, this is all your fault, all because you told Yuta that intel about the drop off. Now Taeyong’s injured, and nearly died because of you. You’ve never felt so disgusted with yourself. “Oh.. oh no,” you hold back a sob as you approach his bed.

Taeyong gazes up at you, no doubt able to see your stress. He even offers a small smile as you sit down gently at the edge of the bed, your stomach churning at the bloodied bandage on his shoulder. “I’m guessing I’ve looked better?” He smiles, though his eyes are tired. You blink back your tears, not even processing his humor. Your hand comes up to hover over his cheek. He gazes up at you with what looks like hope. You banish all doubts and gently cup his cheek, finger stroking his slightly bruised skin. His eyes flutter closed and he nuzzles your hand immediately. Your heart squeezes in pain and affection.

“Taeyong, I…” you swallow a heavy breath. What can you say? You’re sorry? Sorry for not protecting him? Sorry this is all your fault? Sorry, you were sent here as a spy to gather intel and you’ve been lying to his face this entire time? Guilt stabs at you ruthlessly, as you gaze down at this sweet boy meant for a softer life than this. Instead of speaking, you take clean cloth nearby and gently wipe a dirt smudge from his cheek. He watches you silently, his eyes like the starry night sky that you fight not to focus on. You spot a deep bruise on his wrist, and take another clean bandage to wrap around it. His hand is light in yours, his eyes watching you carefully. Once you’re done, you can't help but raise his hand to your lips and kiss his wrist reverently. His chest stutters in breath. Cuts on his fingers and the back of his hand catch your eye this time. You take another bandage and clean each one, kissing them too, one by one. His eyes turn soft, always soft when they’re on you.

“Does it hurt?” You ask softly when you’re done.

“Not anymore.”

You flush, turning back to his fingers, stroking them gently with your own. ‘Remember how I used to put bandaids on you when you fell on the playground?”

He smiles and the butterflies take flight in your stomach. “Of course. You’d grumble that it’s not that bad while putting it on and looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like… like I’m the most precious thing in the world,” he says softly, “Like you love me. Like how you’re doing right now.”

You fall completely silent, the breaths halting in your chest. Wordless gazes are exchanged. Then, he reaches up with his good hand, tangles his fingers in your hair, and pulls you down to kiss him. You don’t resist and melt so fast against his lips it's almost embarrassing, but he could never make you feel embarrassed. His kiss is soft, reverent, and gentle. You sigh into his lips as he strokes your hair gently. Warmth blooms and spreads to every inch inside of you until he pulls away with soft lidded eyes. Your forehead rests on his. Both your eyes are closed with breaths mingling as you both savor the moment after so many years of waiting. Then, he kisses your forehead and your heart twists again, with guilt and love and pain and all.

“Taeyong I…” you struggle and he notices. His newly bandaged hand comes up to stroke your cheek in comfort as he nuzzles your nose. “I’m so sorry.”

He takes it as you being sorry for his injuries, because he doesn't know. Doesn’t know you’re a traitor. “Don’t be. I was careless.”

You can’t even object and explain that he never did anything wrong. Frustration wells up inside you. “After all these years I just want to be with you.”

It’s a careless slip, a frustrated wish voiced aloud when it was meant to be kept buried in your thoughts. But it’s too late. A light kindles in Taeyong’s eyes that replaces all the tiredness they held before. His lips lift into a beautiful smile that makes your heart flutter in all ways and you realize you are doomed. You never had a chance against him.

“Then be with me.”

...

After more bandages and kisses, you don’t want to leave Taeyong, but know he needs rest. When you let him know as much, he pouts and asks you to stay. You give him a final kiss to the forehead in response and tell him you’ll be back tomorrow. He lets you go after that. Literally. He was holding onto your wrist to prevent you from leaving.

With your heart thumping and affection running high, you give Jungwoo a call and ask him to pick you up and drop you back at your place. You thank him profusely for doing it so late in the night. When you step through the door, you spot the secret cell phone that Yuta gave you lying on the table, and feel anger rip through your body. It was Yuta. He took your intel about the drop off and sent men there to steal or sabotage it or who knows what else. When they saw Taeyong, they couldn’t pass up the opportunity to kill the boss. It’s a miracle Taeyong even made it out alive. You grit your teeth and pick up the phone. A notification pops up with 3 missed calls from Yuta. Without another thought, you call him back. It goes straight to voicemail. You figure. It’s late in the night so you decide to leave a message. As soon as you hear the beep, you growl into the phone. “The deal’s off. I can't do it and I’m not coming back.”

You hang up and pull out your own personal phone, holding the two cells side by side in your hands. Yuta’s tracking both of them. You make up your mind to have both destroyed and dumped tomorrow.

...

You feel much freer going to work after that voicemail for Yuta and destroying both your phones. You let Jungwoo know you need a new phone and it takes no effort for him to get you one. Besides this, it takes a few weeks for Taeyong’s shoulder to heal. He misses work the entire time and rests at home. You visit him after work each day and take your own car so as to not bother Jungwoo. Most of the evenings and nights are spent changing his bandages, talking and sharing sweet kisses.

“It's nice to be taken care of,” he comments, sitting on the edge of the bed. He has a tank top and you try not to fixate on the muscles of his arms as you remove his shoulder gauze.

“No one’s ever taken care of you while injured?” You ask, putting some ointment on his shoulder wounds. He winces a little and you give him an apologetic look.

“Well, I live mostly by myself. And I've never been this injured before. Jungwoo does have access in case of an emergency and he needs to get me. But other than that, no one knows I live here.”

You lift his arm slightly to wrap the gauze over and around his shoulder. His eyes roam your face, watching your concentrated features. “But this giant penthouse and no one ever comes by? That’s lonely. Especially knowing you,” you smile.

He smiles back before scratching his ear. “Uh, well.. I’m not entirely alone here. Sometimes my past partners would stay here.”

“Past partners?”

“Yeah.. you know, relationships.”

“Oh,” you say. Of course he hasn’t been single, you mentally note, just look at him. The thought makes you feel strange, though. You’ve missed such a huge chunk of each other’s lives but feel like you’ve known him forever. You finish wrapping the bandage around his shoulder.

“But I'm glad you’re here and not.. them or anyone else,” he manages out. “To be honest,” he laughs, looking down at his hands, the cuts having healed long ago. “I was looking for you in those people, but never quite found you.”

Your heart melts, eyes taking in the way he’s bent forward, avoiding your own. You cup his cheeks, bending over to kiss his forehead. “I was looking for you too all these years.”

He glances up and smiles slowly. “Really?” You nod. “So, we wasted our time?”

Your thumb strokes his cheek, and you watch the way his eyes flutter. “I suppose we did.”

“Well, in that case, we’d better make up for it.” He wraps his arms around your waist and tugs you into his chest so hard you both topple backwards onto the mattress.

Surprised laughter bursts from you, hands trying to push him off as he rolls you to the side and onto the bed. “You’re injured! Stop it!” you say between laughs.

He tries to prop himself on the bed with you underneath him, eyes dancing with amusement. “I'm the kingpin of the greatest mob empire. A little shoulder wound won’t - ow!” his shoulder flinches as he puts pressure on it.

Concern floods your chest. “See, I told you.” You maneuver him to rest flat on the bed against his pillow once again. “You need to rest, oh great kingpin lord of everything.”

Unbelievably, he pouts. So you acquiesce and lean over to kiss him. He hums happily, threading his hands through your hair. When you pull back, his eyes are soft. “Can you stay tonight?” You glance at his shoulder but he tugs at your arm. “Please? I don’t get sleep anyway when you’re not here.”

You swallow, gazing at his pleading eyes. “Of course.” A smile blooms on his face before he makes room for you to lie down next to him. Your body is a mess of nerves and butterflies but once you’ve settled in his soft sheets, he immediately wraps his good arm around your waist and bends forwards to kiss your forehead.

“Goodnight Y/n,” he sighs, snuggling closer.

“Goodnight,” you echo, feeling more comfortable than you have in a long time.

...

The next day, you wake up feeling well rested for the first time in your life. Taeyong’s body is plastered to your back, his good arm wrapped around your waist like a vice. The sunlight filters through his window blinds, falling onto his soundly sleeping face like bars of gold, and you think, just here and now, life is perfect. You’re not sure you’ve ever said that before.

You flip over to see him. Your heart lurches at his peacefully sleeping face. He looks like an angel. You push back his hair from his eyes and lean over to press a slow kiss to his temple.

He stirs, inhaling. “Hmm, what was that for?” he asks sleepily, eyes still closed.

You chuckle at his sleepy smile.“Nothing. You looked cute.”

He blinks open one eye. You giggle at his messy hair. “Cute, huh? I’m the mob kingpin lord of everything and you call me cute?” he mumbles sleepily.

“Hmm, definitely the cutest king for sure.”

He chuckles, reaches his arms over his head to stretch but flinches in pain, bringing his arm back down. “Ah, still sensitive.”

Worry flashes through you. “Are you sure you wanna come in today?”

“Yeah, it's been over a week and I'm feeling much better. Besides, a mob can't run without its cute boss.” He mumbles sleepily, throwing his good arm around your waist again. You gaze at him longer, your heart fluttering. It’s a slow realization that also happens all at once somehow - you want this everyday, for as long as you imagine. It grows worse the longer you stare at him. He cracks an eye open. “What?”

It’s impossible to hold it back now no matter how much you try. “I love you.”

He grows still, both eyes flying open as he gazes at you in slight surprise. “What?”

You run your fingers through his soft strands again, pushing them away from his eyes, your heart lurching. “I love you.” Your voice is soft, almost as if you’ll shatter him.

Taeyong stares for a moment before pulling you in to kiss you, morning breath and all, but you can’t give a care in the world. When he finally lets go, he’s grinning from ear to ear. “I love you too. So much.” You laugh in disbelief as he cups your cheek and presses his forehead to yours. “To be honest, I’ve been having trouble holding those words back since the first day you came here.” Love flares in his eyes. “I loved you even before this. I’ve loved you since childhood.”

You’re slightly surprised at the sting of tears in your eyes. “I’ve loved you since then too.”

Taeyong cups your cheeks and presses short kisses again and again on your lips, saying I love you between each one. You chuckle, blinking back tears as you accept them. Then, he pushes aside the heavy comforter, and rolls you over so that he’s on top, kissing and gently stroking your hair, making your heart lurch over and over again. Soon, his short kisses become longer until your mouths are pushing and pulling like tides. You kiss until your lungs burn. When you pull back, gasping for breath, he presses his forehead to yours.

“Y/n,” he mumbles reverently. Your fingers skit down his jaw to the nape of his neck. He shivers in response, hot breath fanning your lips. You pull him impossibly closer to you and he meets your lips again. His tongue slips through your lips this time and sends sparks through your stomach. It grazes your own tongue, and you sigh, letting yourself melt into him, his warmth and body heat, the unbelievable feeling of being in his arms, his fringes tickling your forehead, his breath fanning your face. You kiss until you can't take it anymore.

He whines a little as you pull away once again. You laugh breathily, watching him balance on his propped arms over you. “Isn’t your shoulder hurting like that?”

He gives you a boyish, lopsided smile. “Honestly, my shoulder has been hurting the entire time, but I don't care.” In horror, you try to rip away from him but he easily drags you back and pins you to the bed without so much as a retort. His fingers intertwine with yours and hold them against the pillow.

“For a cute mob boss, you’re pretty strong,” you remark. He only grins and buries his head in your neck, pressing kisses down the skin. More electricity buzzes through your body. His kisses are hot and wet and you arch when he meets a pulse point. Your voice comes out shaky. “Taeyong, if you keep going, I won't be able to-“

“Me neither,” he answers. His voice is a different color than usual, one that you haven't heard before. It’s gravelly and rough. Combined with his body insistently pressing yours into the mattress and his kisses to your neck, your body turns into a mess of tingles and butterflies.

His teeth nips your pulse point and you gasp, pressing your hips against his slightly. He picks up on this imperceptible movement and rolls his hips against yours with a low groan. You can feel him through his pants, and you arch and moan at the friction. Your hands clutch the cloth of his tank top from his back until it's bunched in your fist. He pulls back a small to observe your reaction, his pupils dilated.

His hand comes up to touch your face reverently. “Y/n, do you want to…”

“Yes, keep going, please.” You should be ashamed at how easily you beg, but you could never feel that way for him, especially with the way his pupils dilate and his breath comes out ragged.

“How far.. do you want to go?”

“Everything, I want everything from you,” you press your head to his, feeling strangely emotional. “I just want you, please.” He seems still for a moment, gorgeous dark eyes boring into yours. The uneven breaths fill the silence, as if he were savoring this moment. Then he reaches down , fingers slipping inside your pants, and pressing your clit through panties. A moan falls from your lips, your hips arching towards his touch. His dark eyes drink in every reaction. Then, he moves to suck your neck again and you’re clutching his tank top harshly as he works your clit, moaning into his ear. You have half a mind to drag his tank top half way up his chest until he gets the idea and pulls away from you. He sits up, slipping it over his head, and tosses it to the side, revealing his bare skin with tattoos littered here and there. When he falls back to you, carefully supporting his injured shoulder, you drag him in for a kiss. “You are so beautiful.”

He moans slightly into your mouth, tongues meeting again before pulling away. “I can say the same for you.” He eyes your shirt. “Can I?”

“Yes,” you manage out.

His lithe hands peel your shirt up and over your head. His eyes roam over your torso with a bated breath as you sit up a little and undo your bra. It’s a few seconds of awed silence once you lie back down before his hot mouth planting on your nipple. You arch and moan loudly, your eyes clenching shut. “Oh god.”

He strips your pants and underwear from you in one movement. His hand returns to your clit though this time, his finger slides into your core, stretching your walls. A moan tumbles from your lips as he comes up to press kisses to your face. “My love,” he calls gently as you moan again, “my Y/n.” Sparks fly behind your eyes in your pleasure. Your head presses back against the pillow and you let out a particularly loud moan. Then, he rips his hand away as well as his mouth and you’re left teetering, then coming back down the way you came, unsatisfied. You let out a whine but he sits up, panting harshly, grabbing a condom from the drawer in his nightstand and settles back between your legs. He gives you another kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Your heart thrums each time you say it. Then he’s slipping inside you, stretching you until your eyes flutter closed. You’re full and you realize this is how you've always belonged, how you were always supposed to be. He thrusts slowly, lips hovering over yours or pressing all over your face, his eyes fluttering when you squeeze around him. You realize this is different from all the other partners you’ve ever been with. It feels like he fills you with life , every second he looks at you or smiles or walks into a room, he fills you with purpose.

You live for his moans, unabashed and light and airy and beautiful. It makes you lose yourself so much faster. His lithe hands clutch the bedsheets beside you, lips grazing your neck, hair tickling your face. You realize you want him all the time, near you all the time, you want this forever. You memorize everything, his touch, his scent, his features screwed up in the pleasure you give him. You’d give him anything. You memorize him until he hits a spot inside you that has your brain coming to a halt. He notices easily, lifts one of your legs to hook over his good arm, and hits it again, much more intense this time, until you're shivering and arching, your mind turning to mush. Sweet praises fall from his lips as he pushes into you. You’re perfect, you’re so beautiful, my love.

My love.

You contract around him like a vice, burying your head in his neck, muffling the moan bordering on a scream as you come apart. He shivers as your nails dig into his back and halts his movements until your walls grant his cock mercy enough to move again. He finishes the last few thrusts until he's pressing deep inside you with a loud groan, and you vaguely think you wouldn’t mind hearing that sound forever. He collapses on top of you, panting and breathing harshly but you couldn't care less about his weight squeezing you. Your hands tiredly comb through his hair, littering kisses along his forehead while he catches his breath against your chest. Pleasure brims and hums through your body and mind as you relish the feeling of him in your arms. After a few beats, he lifts his head up just enough to kiss you. “I love you.”

You smile, brushing back his sweaty fringes. “I love you, too.” You’re rewarded with a beautiful smile before he rests his head back on your chest. “Wait, wasn’t your shoulder hurting this entire time?”

He makes no effort to move. “Yes, but I didn't care.” You groan and he only chuckles against your skin.

...

You end up going a little late to work that day. Taeyong doesn’t seem to mind, though. He seems content enough to brush his teeth with you, shower, change into office clothes, grab breakfast and drive you to work in his car, even though you have your own parked in the garage. You’re guessing it's the inkling of domestic bliss that’s keeping a smile on his face and making him leisurely savor each mundane moment with you this morning. As for you, it’s something you never knew you needed. It’s easy to imagine a life like this and only this, with none of the complications. Taeyong looks over at you in the passenger seat with a smile, bright eyes, so many times during the drive to the office that you’re laughing. “What is it?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, turning back to the road again. “Nothing.” You let it go, but your heart flutters. Once you step through the lobby, the busy chatting stops and are replaced by jeers of welcome aimed at Taeyong after his week’s absence. Soon after, though, their curious eyes are trained on you. It’s obvious you came in the same car together and therefore probably from the same place since you usually drive yourself. If anyone had any suspicions before about you both, they definitely know for sure now. Once you and Taeyong enter the elevator, he pulls you close and kisses you once again. “I love you,” he smiles.

You laugh, adjusting his tie. “I love you too. Not tired of saying it?”

The way he looks at you, eyes half lidded, an amused smile across his lips as if you’re the most perfect thing in the world, makes you feel foolish for even asking. “No. And I never will be.”

Your heart flutters, biting back your smile. “Me neither.”

He grins this time and kisses your forehead. Then, he deflates a little. “I wont see you much today.” His fingers brush a lock of your hair. “But maybe by the end of the day, you can swing by my office?”

“Deal,” you agree, snaking your arms over his shoulders. “We'll go home together after?”

“Of course,” he smiles, leaning forward to kiss you one more time before the elevator doors ding open at the top floor. He grins again and pulls away. “I love you.”

You laugh. “I love you, too.” You go your separate ways. When you approach Jungwoo’s desk, he’s already smiling, face tilted and propped on his hand.

“You’re in a good mood.” Jungwoo comments.

Your steps falter. “Ah.. I’ve uh…”

“No need to explain. Everyone saw you two come in together. The boss is practically bouncing with each step,” he smiles knowingly, turning back to his computer. “It’s good that he looks better though. Everyone was worried. Thanks for taking care of him.” He says, glancing up at you. “For all those days.”

Your cheeks burn. “How did you know-“ But Jungwoo gives you a look that makes you feel foolish for even asking. You plop down in the chair next to him, propping your bag against the desk. “Of course you know.”

“Actually, you might see more of him today. He has a client meeting at a high end club and I’m guessing he’ll take you as a date.”

“Really? Why does he need a date?”

He shrugs, crumpling up a piece of paper in his hands. “He doesn’t.” He throws it in the basket. “But he’ll ask you anyway.” He grins.

You watch him clean up his desk of unneeded and old documents. “You’re very perceptive of people aren't you?”

Jungwoo smiles. “It’s my job. I recruited you, remember? I find out things about people.” He says a matter of factly before changing the subject. “So, a newbie whose first mission is with the Boss himself. If no one was sure of your privilege, they’re sure now.”

You exhale, shrugging. “I'm pretty sure everyone is sure of it by now. I just hope I don't get attacked again.”

Jungwoo freezes then, concern flooding his eyes as he turns to face you. “I never asked, how are you feeling after that?”

You shrug. “I'm fine, I guess. I’ve dealt with worse.”

Jungwoo nods slowly. “Taeyong was angrier than I’d ever seen him. He made sure we removed that guy. But please know he was an outlier. People may not be the friendliest here but everyone’s generally happy to have you around.” He cups your hand in comfort, sincerity evident in his eyes. “I hope you always feel safe here.” He pauses to smile. “Even though we're an illegal organization.”

You wordlessly listen to Jungwoo, feeling strangely touched. Yuta never made you feel like this. “Thank you,” you say, and you mean it.

He gives you a warm smile that makes you feel even softer. “Now come on, we have a lot of work to do today and many things to discuss.”

“Like what?”

“Like, did you sleep over at Taeyong’s last night?” He grins, leaning over in interest. You shove his arm, pulling peals of laughter from his lips. The rest of the day passes with jokes and work, with you secretly counting down the hours until you can visit Taeyong in his office. It seems as if an eternity passes until Taeyong himself is strolling onto the main floor and approaching Jungwoo’s desk.

“Hey guys,” he greets. Jungwoo glances at him with a hint of surprise. You figure this is an unusual occurrence since Taeyong usually summons people to his office. “I was just wondering if I could borrow Y/n in my office for a second, if I’m not interrupting or anything.” Taeyong seems a bit hesitant.

Jungwoo shakes his head slowly. “You’re never interrupting anything. You're the Boss.”

Taeyong blinks. “R-Right…” he turns to you. “Is it okay with you?”

Jungwoo watches the exchange with growing interest. You try to ignore him and stand up from your seat. “Of course it is.”

“Great,” Taeyong says, before waving at Jungwoo, which you also assume to be unusual given Jungwoo’s perplexed expression “Bye, Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo waves slightly in confusion. “Bye…?” He watches until you two disappear from sight.

Taeyong curses once you’re out of earshot. The laughter you’re holding back spills from your lips. “What was that?”

He slows enough to allow you to fall in line with his walking. “I have no idea. I just.. felt weird beckoning you to my office chamber as if you’re my maid or something.” He shakes his head. “God, Jungwoo’s going to think something is wrong with me.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t,” you reply, biting back a smile. So, he feels weird about you calling him Boss and also about ordering you around. It’s strangely sweet in its own way, how a man with all the power at his hands refuses to see you as anything but his equal.

He drags open one massive door to his office and ushers you inside. Once you’re in, he shuts the door, pulls you to his chest and kisses you. “Mmm what are these for?” You ask when his long kiss dissolves into small short sweet ones littered on your lips.

“I just missed you all day. And missed kissing you all day.” You giggle as he turns to littering kisses over your face. Your hand wraps around his tie and tugs him to you abruptly so that he can kiss you properly on the lips. He makes a soft noise that travels like electricity through your body. The kiss turns deep once again, your hands coming up to comb through his soft hair. When you pull away, your breaths are shallow and his gaze is intense. “Believe it or not, I actually have work for us to do.”

You chuckle. “Jungwoo told me. We’re going to some high end club?

He takes a moment to gather himself before pulling away from you. “Yes, just to visit a client we’re sorting out a contract with.”

Your nerves twist in your stomach. You remember the last meeting with a client ended in a gunfight. Your eyes settle on his shoulder, where you can still see the bandage underneath his office shirt. “Are you sure?”

He glances at you and sees the concern in your eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll be safe,” he smiles reassuringly. “To be honest, I still don’t know why I was targeted that day and by whom. I’ve ordered everyone to track them down, but we haven't found any clues.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “It’s probably a rival gang that somehow got our info.”

Your blood turns to ice. You haven’t even told him about what happened that day, about where you’re from and the truth about why you’re here. You can sell out Yuta right now. You can give Taeyong all the information and help him take down your former leader. But the words fail you and you realize that you can’t. You’ve spent a decade working under Yuta, longer than you’ve even known Taeyong. As much as you hate it, your loyalty to Yuta are your chains. You can’t rat him out. And worse, even if you do, what if Taeyong hates you? What if he sends you away and never wants to see you again? What if you have to return to Yuta? Return to a cold, meaningless life full of violence and crime, devoid of sunshine and sleepy smiles and slow mornings.

You swallow back any words and stay silent. You feel awful. You’re a liar. You never want to lie to Taeyong, ever. But you’re a coward and you don’t know what to do. Even if he doesn’t know now, he will find out the truth eventually and hate you then. Taeyong seems to notice your intense conflict and mistakes it for concern. He steps towards you, a soft smile finding his lips that nearly makes the terrible thoughts melt away. “I know you feel bad, but it's not your fault that I was injured,” he takes your hand gently in his. “Besides, I don't think any sniper will be able to find me at a strip club.”

Your whirling thoughts pause momentarily. “We’re going to a strip club?”

“It’s technically a gentleman’s club. It’s just a meeting with an old client. She runs the whole place and makes quite a lot of money from it. She wants us to protect her territory. A lot of members of the criminal underground frequent there and have been stepping out of line and making her workers uncomfortable. The security they have there doesn't intimidate these kinds of men enough. She wants mob protection, so these criminals will feel less inclined to do whatever they want.”

You nod. “It’s an honorable cause. But if you’ve met her before, why am I coming?”

His eyes slide away from yours in embarrassment. “Because.. I’m uh… they like me over there,” he flushes a light pink, “I’ve gotten.. too much attention when I went alone in the past. I might as well show them that I'm taken.”

The image of women and probably men hanging over Taeyong as he talks business, flirting with him, their fingernails running down his chest, makes your insides twist in jealousy. Yes, you figure, you should be there. “Yes, you are taken.” You grip his tie and watch his eyes flare. You chuckle and mentally note his reaction. “So, this is our first date?”

He snorts. “At a strip club? No way. I'll plan a much better one than that.”

“I thought you said it’s a gentleman’s club.”

He laughs. “Come on, let’s head out. We’ll have to dress up a little.” You both stop by your apartment to pick up some fancy clothes and make up before driving over to his place to get ready. By time you change, style your hair, apply makeup and jewelry, the sun sets and the evening sky’s moonlight glows through the windows. When you walk into the living room and find Taeyong in a tuxedo, silver cuffs, and his hair neatly combed back, your heart nearly stops in your chest. He has a similar reaction when he spots you. “Wow.” He stares breathlessly for a moment before blinking back to reality. “Oh no, maybe I should go alone. This isn't a good idea.”

“What? Why?”

His eyes run over you once again. “Because you’re beautiful. Too beautiful. There's going to be too many sleazy criminals there. They’re already harassing the workers. They’re not going to leave you alone.”

“I’ll be fine. I can handle myself. Besides, do you think I’m the only one who looks good? I’m not letting you go there alone looking like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re too beautiful too,” you echo his words, watching him flush. Then, because you’re feeling playful and curious, you decide to push further. “And because you’re mine.” His eyes flare. You see him swallow imperceptibly. You don't know why it feels good to see him like this, but you want to do it some more. “They’ll keep away if they know what's good for them.”

His breath catches in his throat. He swallows again and seems to blink himself back to reality. “F…fine, then. Just tell anyone who asks that you’re with me and I'll say that I'm with you.”

“Tell them that I'm yours and you’re mine. Understood,” you grin.

“Ah… right,” he mumbles, unable to find a suitable reply. A pretty blush spreads across his cheeks as his eyes slide away from yours. It never fails to satisfy you. He pauses, then gently cups your face and brings you close to kiss you. He pulls away and gives you a warm smile. “Okay, let's go."

...

You know that gentleman’s clubs are just higher end strip clubs, but this one is so far beyond anything you've seen before. As you walk in, you’re hit with the sight of patrons dressed in black tie, waiters carrying flat dishes holding unknown colorful alcoholic drinks, curved leather booths scattered throughout the space, crystal chandeliers hanging overhead. “I can see how this owner can afford us,” you mutter. Your arm is looped through Taeyong’s as he guides you through the area and towards the back rooms. You pass by people chatting, drinking, smoking, and eventually spot the main stage. Some dancers are already there, dressed in sparkly two pieces.

Some of the girls passing by to get to the stage notice Taeyong and smile brightly at him. Some touch his shoulders and arms, bat their eyelashes, give cherry lipped smiles, even though you’re quite literally hanging off his arm. You suppose your presence here doesn’t spurn any of them in the slightest. Taeyong guides you into one back room that looks like a luxurious private meeting room of sorts. An older woman adorned in jewels and a shimmering gown is seated upon an expensive looking armchair with a lit cigarette between her painted nails. A few girls stand or are seated around her. They smile and greet Taeyong when he walks in but their friendly gazes turn to questioning glares when they fall on you. It seems as if the air itself stops when you walk through the door.

“Who is she?” the older woman asks, voice raspy probably from years of cigarette smoke.

“She’s my date,” Taeyong answers easily.

They all eye you suspiciously. “This is the first girl you’ve brought in as a date. How long has she worked for you?”

“How is that relevant?” Taeyong counters.

The woman ignores him and glares at you. “How long, girl?”

“…A few weeks.”

Murmurs start from the girls. The older lady laughs and takes a drag from her cigarette. “And you let her in this high up already, working by your side? Ever the softie you are,” she notes. Taeyong flushes slightly. “You’re not worried she’s a spy?”

Your heart jumps. Taeyong’s brows furrow. “Of course not. And I’ve known her much longer than a few weeks. We just.. were separated for a long time.”

Her eyes narrow a bit. “That’s even more dangerous.” Her lips blow a puff of smoke. “She’s not allowed in here. That’s final.”

Taeyong growls. “Listen, Mabel, we have a contract to sign.”

“Yes, with very sensitive content. Which unauthorized people should not be allowed to listen in on.” Her eyes coldly drag down your frame. “No matter how pretty.”

Taeyong looks like he’s about to argue but you stop him with a hand to his shoulder. “It’s fine,” you say, not wanting to complicate things. “I’ll wait outside.”

He glances at you, brows knitted. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s no big deal.” You give him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes and step out the door. You hear a muffled sentence from Mabel of she’s got you bad, huh? through the door before you’re walking into the buzzing scene before you.You decide to sit at the bar because you need to be alone. Mabel’s words have triggered you. You feel awful, guilty, and disgusted. You have to tell him the truth, even if he hates you forever. But what if he doesn't hate you? What if he understands, forgives, and then wants you to help him take down Yuta? You pause. How can you take down Yuta? You spent a decade under him, working for him, being with him through good and bad times. You can't just turn against him completely. You feel stuck. You seem to always feel stuck these days and it’s making you miserable.

“Why the long face?” You hear a rich voice behind you. It rips you from your internal monologue. It’s a tall man with dark hair, twinkling eyes and a colorful suit. He sticks out easily among the crowd. You notice he already has a drink in hand.

“Ah.. just a bad day.” You say a bit dismissively, looking back down at your drink, hoping he’ll get the message and disappear. He doesn’t.

He nods in understanding and slides into the stool beside yours. “I’m Johnny. You Yong’s girl? I saw you come in with him.”

“Uh.. Yes.”

He nods, taking a sip from his glass. “He’s never brought anyone with him here before.”

You eye him. “Do you work here?”

“Nope. I’m from my own..um… group.” He smiles. “I come here sometimes as a patron.” Right, you think, Taeyong did mention that members of other criminal groups hung out around here. It’s the reason why the owner needs protection in the first place. Johnny bumps you slightly with his elbow. “So, why are you so sad? Is he not treating you well?” He smiles easily. “You can come to our side, you know, and work as a spy. You have the look. A beautiful woman with eyes like yours, who wouldn’t believe every word that comes from your lips?” Johnny smiles into his glass. “Best part is Taeyong doesn’t have to know.”

He’s joking, but you know it's the way deals are made underground. The thought of taking him up on his makes bile rise in your throat. “No.. I don’t…” you blanch.

He notices the look on your face. “Too loyal?” he nods in understanding. “It’s not for everyone.” he glances at you. “But you never know.” He raises a hand to touch your chin. Your reflexes get the better of you and you grip his wrist before he can touch you.

“Y/n,” Taeyong’s voice cuts through the air, catching both you and Johnny in surprise. He’s fuming. Similar to the time when the man jumped you in the office, his expression is hard and unmerciful. “Is he bothering you?” His eyes slide to Johnny who releases a breathy chuckle and turns back to sipping his drink.

“I was actually just leaving.” You slide out from the seat and walk past Taeyong who gives Johnny a lingering hard glare before following you out the door.

Once you’re seated in his car, Taeyong grips the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. “What the hell was he doing? I knew I never liked him for a reason.”

“He’s from another organization?” You ask.

“It's a smaller one. It operates at the outskirts of the city. They’re one of the… less moral organizations that others need protection from. They’re a thorn in our side but nothing we can’t handle.” He glances over at you, concern replacing his irritation. “Are you okay? You look.. sick.”

You shake your head. “It’s nothing I… just…” you exhale tiredly. “It’s nothing.”

His worried eyes scan your face. “Is it because of what Mabel said? Don’t listen to her. I trust you with everything I have.” You gaze at him, speechless. His words make you feel infinitely worse after the night you’ve had.

When you return to his apartment, you change out of your dress like you can’t wait to get it off. Then, you mindlessly set to packing up the things you’ve left at Taeyong’s place while staying over the past few days. Taeyong watches you wordlessly, still in his suit, looking as if he’s about to say something, then changes his mind. The cycle repeats until he works up the courage. “Did you…want to stay over tonight too?”

You glance at him and try not to chuckle at his puppy face. “I would, but I have to go home and take out the trash and do the dishes and .. get new clothes,” you sigh, walking over to him. “But I’ll come visit later, okay?” Your fingers take to combing through his hair, coaxing a sigh from his lips.

“What if you moved in with me?” He says it so easily, lost in the feeling of your nails against his scalp. Your fingers pause and his words hang in the air. At your silence, his eyes fly open in panic. “Is that too soon? Of course it is. Fuck, forget I said anything.”

He so visibly retracts in on himself that you’re scrambling to reassure him. “No, no, I’m just… surprised is all.”

He sighs almost helplessly, brows pinching in frustration. “I just see you here and .. when we spend time together, I..I want it… all the time… and nothing else,” he says heavily, grasping your hand and holding it up to his chest. His dark maroon eyes are large and heartfelt. “Sometimes I wish I just had a simple life. No mobs, no criminals, no territories or fighting. Just you and me in a house, living peacefully.”

Your eyes burn, pricking with tears. “Me too,” you whisper, unable to convey just how badly you’ve dreamt of the same dream for so long. “Me too.”

His expression is almost as if he’s witnessed a small miracle. He pulls you into the tightest hug, as if he can’t hold you close enough. You breathe him and relish the weight of his head tucked against yours, the smell of his lingering cologne and the comfort of his arms. “We can talk about it later,” he mumbles into your neck. “Can you stay over tonight, please?”

You forget about packing. “Of course.”

...

The next day when you come into work, you spot Jungwoo sporting a new type of pistol that spikes your curiosity. You ask him to show you the features and end up seated, facing him with the gun in your hands. Jungwoo’s fingers slide against your own as he guides yours to the grip and the trigger. "The safety lock is actually here," Jungwoo points out, turning over the unfamiliar silver pistol in your hands before guiding your finger to the small button. You test the weight of the gun with both of Jungwoo’s hands cupping yours. "It's comfortable, isn't it?" He offers with warm eyes. "Yeah, it is,” you say incredulously. “I haven’t seen-” "Jungwoo." A serious voice cuts through the atmosphere. Both of you stiffen and spot Taeyong, arms crossed with hard eyes, taking in the scene before him. "Don't you have something to turn in for me?” Jungwoo releases your hands as if they were burning hot coals. "Yes, sorry Boss. I was just taking a break and showing Y/n my new gun." "Well, get on it.” His usual soft voice is hard. Jungwoo’s face drops. Taeyong’s eyes slide to you. “Y/n, can I see you in my office?” He doesn’t wait for you as he begins walking back. You and Jungwoo exchange bewildered glances as you stand to follow him. Once you step into his office, you notice that Taeyong doesn’t greet you. He leans over his desk, his hands gripping the wooden edges. “Did you.. need me for something?” You ask, perplexed by his demeanor.

He straightens up, running his hand through his hair. “No,” he sighs, turning to glance at you. “You… you ah… you and Jungwoo…” he trails off, averting his eyes. He huffs. “You and Jungwoo…spend a lot of time together.”

You try not to laugh. “Yes, you assigned us to work together. On everything. Don’t you remember?”

He only grumbles, rubbing his forehead. “Right.”

“Are you alright?” You test carefully.

“I’m fine,” he says curtly, turning his back to you once again to walk towards his desk. You wait for him to elaborate but he doesn't.

“Well… if you are, could you apologize to Jungwoo later? It was kind of rude.” He glances at you and then exhales, plopping into this arm chair. He tries to speak but struggles, then seems to give up and glare at his tie. “Hey,” you say gently, following his path around the desk until you’re standing by his chair. “Tell me what’s wrong.” You touch his chin, then run your fingers through his hair that has his shoulders slumping with stress seeping out.

"I'm sorry,” he sighs, the hardness in his voice gone. “It’s just, the past few days.. with you finally being mine after so many years… but then stupid Johnny at the club was with you and then Jungwoo was holding your hands and… I just got jealous. It's silly, I know. You love me. There's no doubt about that." He mumbles, sighing. “I can’t help it.”

“Oh,” your brain processes his words. “You were jealous?”

"What else was I supposed to be?" He now lifts his face to look up at you directly. "I think of you in every moment, in every breath I take, even in every dream I have at night. And then I see you with Jungwoo.. or someone else.. and I get jealous of them, for being in your presence. Because sometimes, they’re the ones that have your eyes… or hands on them. Not me.”

You chuckle. “Even though I have my eyes on you ninety nine percent the rest of the time?”

“Only ninety nine percent?” he laughs, his smile finally appearing. “I want the full one hundred.” He twists his chair a little to bury his head in your stomach. “I’ll give you anything you want, Y/n. Anything in this world.”

You sigh, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “I know.” He doesn’t respond and seems deflated so you try to reassure him. “I get jealous too.”

He lifts his head to look at you. "Really? I never noticed."

“I don’t tell you.”

He suddenly sounds curious. "Jealous of whom?"

Your cheeks burn and you look away. “I don’t know. When the women were all over you at that same club the other day. When I hear you haven't been alone all these years, that you loved someone else. It.. makes me jealous.”

Taeyong’s eyes seem to kindle with light. He stands up slowly until he’s slightly towering over you. "So.. you're jealous of my attention too.” His eyes darken only slightly, but the air shifts. "Would you prefer that I give you one hundred percent as well so that I only ever pay attention to you?”

You feel flustered at your vulnerability but provide your answer without breaking eye contact. “Yes.”

He falls silent then. The air is still around you, growing heated as you gaze at each other, wordlessly. "What would you do if they were here right now?” His voice is low, raspier than before.

You know he wouldn’t engage; has no interest in anyone else but you, but from every previous interaction with him, you know by now he’s very into you being possessive. So, you decide to indulge him and playfully growl. You lean over and kiss his pulse point. He swallows hard. “I’d wring them away from you.”

Your words work on him. He shivers in your arms. "What else?” he asks, his voice slightly more gravelly in your ear.

You think. “I’d also push you against the nearest wall and kiss you until you’re panting, making sure they watch.”

He grows still. “Really?” You nod. It looks like it’s the right answer. He abruptly pulls away from you with a determined look on his face. "Good. I need you. Right now. Let's.. let's go to the closest wall we can find."

You laugh out loud, following along as he pulls you away from his desk. “Which wall?" He tugs you towards one end of the room, coaxing another laugh from you.

“There is no one to watch here. Should I just kiss you against a wall?”

"Yes. Yes, that's the idea," His voice turns rough once again. He pulls you to the wall nearest his desk and turns around to face you. "Show me, love." he orders, his eyes dark with his fringes falling into them. Your throat grows tight, all your previous laughter disappearing. He leans close to you again, hand wrapping around your wrist so that you can’t back away. "I want you to show me how jealous you can get. Right now." He growls lowly. You swallow thickly, and force your limbs to move. You raise your hands, his loosening from your wrist, and press against his chest. He doesn’t break eye contact as you push him against the wall. He gasps a little when he hits the surface, eyes darkening again. You press forward to kiss him harshly. He moans as he kisses you back just as aggressively. “Yes,” he breathes shakily between kisses. “You’re so good.”

Your mouths push and pull like tides as you keep up the show. “You like this? Being shown who you belong to?”

He’s gasping between kisses, all your words exciting him further. "Oh.. god yes, I do." he breathes out. "I love it.. I love knowing that I’m yours.” He lets out a small moan. "You'll make sure that no one will steal me away from you, right?"

You kiss down his neck, nipping the skin slightly, causing him to tremble in your arms. “Yes. No one can take you from me. You’re mine.” You say the words you think will affect him most and you’re right. A pretty blush settles on his cheeks and he moans softly at your kisses.

"Yes... no one will take me away from you because you're mine, and I'm yours,” he breathes, eyes lidded.

“Yes,” you soften, littering kisses down his jaw. “You’re mine and I’m yours.” He shivers when you undo his buttons to litter more kisses along his collarbone. You subconsciously press closer to him and feel his hardness graze your thigh. “You’re this worked up? From just my words?” You ask fondly, nipping his chest. His eyes are closed, cheeks flushed, hair falling into them.

“F-From you. I’m worked up from you,” he mumbles.

It’s endearing. You comb this hair back from his face and kiss him. “Well, it would be unfair to let you go home like this.”

His eyes seem to focus on you in confusion before you press your palm against the bulge in his slacks. He shivers against you. “Y/n-“ You press until he bites his lip. Your nimble fingers unzip his pants and slide in past the hem of his boxers to grip him. He gasps, eyes flying open. “Oh god,” he moans. You keep a tight grip as you stroke him, watching his head fall back against the wall, jaw working open. You lean forward to kiss his neck.

“Good?”

“Good… so good,” he nods. You struggle to work him with the small space you have in his boxers but he moans so beautifully even with what little you do. “Y/n,” his eyes open, half lidded, shallow breaths. You pause to look at him. “I love you.”

You soften, push forward to kiss him gently, chastely, so at odds with your hand still stroking him. “I love you too, so much.” You squeeze him gently and he gasps, breaking away from your kiss and arches against the wall, moaning, and you know you have to hear more. With a final kiss to the hollow of his throat, you drop to your knees. He gazes down at you, eyes going wide, then jaw clenching, arousal seeping into his face. You grip his pants and boxers slide them down a bit along his hips until his length is free for your undivided attention. The sight of it completely hard has arousal surging through you but a brush of his hand to your cheek breaks your focus.

He’s gazing down at you softly, arousal drenched on his face but tended by loving concern. “Are you sure?”

You take his hand by your cheek and kiss it firmly, smiling up at him. “More sure than anything.” Then he hisses as you stroke him, hard in your grip. You budge closer until your lips are right by his length and gaze at him with dark eyes. “I want you to know what I do for you and nobody else.”

All softness drains from his face and his eyes grow ravenous. He gives you a nod and you take him into your mouth. His head hits the wall, body trembling a little as your mouth engulfs him. You drag back and come forward, tongue swirling against him, slowly setting a rhythm that has you humming. His breaths grow harsh and shaky quickly, his hands combing through your hair. You relish the feeling of him, the weight of him in your throat. You want to hear him moan but one glance tells you he seems to be holding back. His teeth dig into his bottom lip, eyes clenched shut in concentration, hand gripping your hair gently. You decide to pick up your pace and he curses, biting his lip hard. Your shallow sucks grow deeper and his length goes in further along your throat. He trembles and a low groan finally loosens from his lips. You yourself nearly moan at the sound and take him even deeper, until he hits the back of your throat. His eyes fly open and he attempts to pull back his hips, tugging you by your hair back a little to get you to slow down. “Y/n… I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

You ignore him, grab his hips and shove him back into your mouth. He harshly gasps out your name and it’s everything you wanted to hear. You gaze up at him, tearing yourself from his length with great self control. “I’m in control right now, aren't I?”

He shivers at your authoritative tone and surrenders. “Yes, ma’am.”

Your stomach burns at the title and you quickly set back to work, taking him deep in your mouth. This time, he moans freely, his hand back in your hair. His soft caresses of your hair become tight, his finger curling around the strands absently as his face screws up in pleasure. Soon, he’s subconsciously guiding your head in your movements as his hips push forward to meet your mouth. It makes his length go even deeper in your throat until you have to focus more not to gag. His free moans are music to your ears, his head is tilted back against the wall, eyes clenched closed. With one particular stroke, you feel him pulse in your mouth. Then, his eyes are flying open and he tugs you off of him roughly by your hair. The sensation sparks pain and pleasure through you, coaxing a noise from your lips, which he seems to notice. He pants harshly, eyes lidded, as you gaze up at him in confusion. “I’m… too close,”. He struggles to find his composure. “I .. don't want to lose myself in your mouth.”

“Where then?” You tease as he helps you stand up. His eyes darken.

“You’ll see.” Your breath catches as he steps forward, backing you towards his desk. “I think it’s my turn to show you how possessive I get.” His lips crash into yours and it's rough, rougher than he’s ever kissed you. You gasp as his hands grip your cheeks and hair hard, pressing you insistently against him. You feel heat pool quickly in your lower abdomen. He walks you backwards, kissing you hard until your back hits the edge of his desk and he’s towering over you. His dilated umber eyes hold you captive, his hair messy, cheeks flushed, lips parted with shallow breaths.

“Sit.” He directs you. You obey, lifting yourself on your tiptoes and then seating yourself on the wooden edge. Then, he kneels, and it’s so graceful and how he does so, but your throat goes painfully dry. He takes one of your legs in his hand and kisses your ankle, still strapped in by your formal shoe. He lifts it so it slides over his shoulder and does the same with the other.

He gazes up at you, brows low, gaze dark and you swear you’ve never been so turned on. He grips the hem of your skirt and slides it up to reveal your thighs. He comes closer to kiss the revealed skin, never breaking eye contact with you, his gaze searing into yours. Your gut is a mess of fire and butterflies, twisting and flipping and grappling for sanity while your mind wonders where did that young shy boy that you knew all this time go?

“Y/n,” he groans, sliding your skirt up all the way until the front is bunched around your hips. It's when his hands grip the hem of your panties does electricity strike your senses. He gazes at you as if asking for permission and you lift yourself up slightly in response.

He smirks and slides your panties down your legs, past your socks and over your heels before tossing them somewhere neither of you bother to remember. He settles back close between your legs and the image of him gazing up at you on his knees sears itself in your brain. Then, he leans forward and licks a stripe along your core that has you gasping and clutching his shoulder. He smiles and presses his hand against your stomach, hinting at you lie back against his desk. You shiver and obey and it's not even until your head hits the wood does he lick another long, broad stripe that has you arching.

“Shit,” you gasp, clutching the edge of his desk. You feel him grin between your legs before his fingers slide inside you. Your eyes clench shut, mouth falling open as the burning stretch gives away to pleasure. He pumps his fingers leisurely into you, making your toes curl in your shoes. He licks your clit at the same time, causing a long moan and a jerk for your hips. You vaguely wonder when was the last time you’ve been pleasured like this.

He pushes his fingers deeper and curls them deep inside that has you letting out a long moan of his name. He groans at that and retracts his fingers, leaving you empty. “Look at me,” he says raspily into your skin. “I want you to look at me.” You lift your head up a small ways to see him between your legs, his dark eyes glaring at you, his nimble hands hooking around both of your thighs. Then, he slides his tongue inside his tongue inside, hot and thick. You let out a high pitched moan, hand coming down to tangle in his hair as you arch up. “Oh god,” you clench around his tongue as he goes deeper. He groans in satisfaction and you can feel it reverberate through your body. Sparks of pleasure fly in your vision. His tongue twists and moves and flicks inside you, turning your limbs and mind to jelly. Your head hits the back of his desk as you arch again and suddenly you feel his nails digging painfully into your thighs. You lift your head up to glance back down at him and he gives you a pointed gaze. Right, keep your eyes on him.

He continues his ministrations, leaving you arching and moaning and whimpering all while struggling to keep eye contact. He doesn’t let up once, not even when you accidentally tug his hair too hard, which earns a hiss and then a moan. He continues, tongue sinful sliding deep inside you before moving to wrap his lips around your clit and suck hard. That has you gasping, moaning, hand tightening in his hair as your face screws up in pleasure. He watches every single facial expression carefully while working you all the while. He slides fingers inside while suckling your clit and when he curls them once again deep inside you, you fall apart.

‘Oh god, oh god,” you moan out as you hurdle towards your end. He groans when he feels you coming, and redoubles his efforts so that you have to cover your mouth when you scream. You fall back against the mercilessly hard wood as the purest bliss washes over you. You arch and moaning and shake around his tongue until he groans into your core, tongue lapping up everything you have to give him. He leaves you then, granting you enough mercy to come back to reality and your body with all the energy sapped out of you.

He’s suddenly near you, bending over and pressing his body against your weary one to kiss your forehead. Hand comes to comb through your hair gently as you regain your composure.

You open his eyes to see him smiling softly down at you. “Good?” You nod breathlessly. He smiles proudly. “Good. Because I’m not done with you yet.”

Your words catch in your throat as he guides you to sit up against the desk once again. He stands before you, towering, his hair even messier now thanks to you, and a slight shine to his lips where he didnt wipe you off completely. He cups your cheeks reverently and bends down to kiss you. It’s loving and passionate and you find yourself melting against him one again. His hand runs through your hair before he tangles it in a few strands in the back of your head and tugs firmly. You gasp harshly, breaking away from the kiss as your head is forced back a little. He examines you briefly before he tugs again experimentally. You moan this time, eyes fluttering and pleasure buzzing through your body. He drinks in your reaction like it's an elixir of gold. “Just as I thought,” he mumbles before gently combing through your hair again. “I can’t believe I do this to you. The effect I have on you,” he says reverently, watching your hair slip from his fingers.

You catch your breath. “You have every effect on me.”

He gazes at you intently before leaning over and gives you another kiss. Then, he helps you off his desk until you're standing on your slightly unreliable, still shaky legs. He steadies you with his grip on your hips. He presses his lips to your temple and eyes his desk behind you. “You know… I dreamed of having you here.” His eyes are dark again, pupils blown wide, voice raspy. “Some days, it distracts me so much that I can’t do any work sitting here,” his eyes flit across the wood. “I’ve wanted it for so long.”

“For how long?” You ask.

“Since the day you walked into this building,” he laughs, nudging your nose with his. “You were so beautiful,” he sighs, settling his forehead on yours. “And the first time we drank wine here and I almost kissed you? After that, god, those thoughts would not leave me.”

“What…” you swallow, “what thoughts?”

His eyes darken. “Of you bent over my desk, moaning and whimpering as I fuck you.” Excitement buzzes throughout your body, arousal seeping through you once again, so embarrassingly quickly after your release. Taeyong cups your jaw, his thumb resting on your lip. his stare is dark, unwavering. “What do you say, my love?”

You swallow hard. “We should make those thoughts reality.”

His eyes darken impossibly more. “You sure?”

“Please.” His eyes darken again, growling as he kisses you hard. Then, he turns you around, pressing your stomach into the edge of the desk and drags his hands down your body. He presses and kneads your clothes breasts, his hard length pressing into your ass as he kisses down your neck. You moan and arch against him. “Bend over,” he instructs. A wave of arousal hits you hard as you do his bidding. Once you’re bent over with your forearms resting against the wood, Taeyong flips over your skirt. You hear him groan, probably at how unbelievably sopping wet you are by now, especially from having come once already. Then his hard length is sliding into you and all thoughts grind to a halt. Both your moans synchronize as he slowly thrusts into you, mumbling praises while you fight to stay sane. You are still so sensitive and the lazy drag of his length against your walls compounds your pleasure. He eventually picks up speed, sending pleasure coursing through you with each stroke. One hand tangles in your hair, and you feel him press down against your back until his lips are by your ear. “God, I love your hair.” He gives a firm tug so your head is pulled back against his neck, coaxing a shaky moan from your lips. He groans and sinks his teeth into your neck. You gasp at the sharp pain mixed by the pleasure brought from his hips.

“Oh,” you gasp out as his hips speed up, his hand still in your hair, his teeth by your neck. It all sends your mind spiraling. He moans into your ear, whispering praises on how good you feel, how long he's waited for you, how much he loves you. Then, his other hand comes up to grip your throat and suddenly, you’re whimpering.

“Is this okay?” He whispers lowly in your ear, his hips not faltering in their brisk pace.

“Yes yes yes,” you manage out, relishing the pressure on your throat. You want to feel him everywhere, in any form, as much as you can while he takes you for himself.

He chuckles. “Good girl.” You moan and clench so hard his thrusts stutter and he gasps into your ear. “God, Y/n….You like that dont you?” You moan in response and he chuckles, resuming his thrusts. He kisses down your ear and your neck. “My good girl, my sweet girl.”

You gasp, feeling yourself clench even tighter at his praise, pulling more moans from his lips. You push your hips back to meet his thrusts and he groans.

“Say my name, Y/n,” he orders, hand slightly tightening around your throat.

You mentally scramble to remember words. “Ah, Taeyong.”

He groans lowly, possessively, his thrusts turning rougher, making you cry out. “Say.. say you love me,” his voice is a bit softer this time but still demanding.

“Hah.. I love you,” you manage out, fingers scratching the wood for leverage.

He releases a harsh breath against your ear. “Again.”

“I love you,” you gasp, eyes clenching shut at his harsh pace.

He moans, gently kissing the side of your face that he can reach from behind you, so at odds with the rough thrusts that are making you shiver. “Again, love.”

“I love you,” you cry out. He growls as his thrusts grow faster and the grip on your throat grows tighter, pulling whimpers and incoherent mumbles from your lips. His other hand untangles from your hair and reaches down to rub your clit.

“Ah!” your yelp echoes through the office. The hand clutching your throat slides up to clamp around your mouth.

“Careful, I may have a big office but they can still hear you from outside,” he warns, voice strained in pleasure as his lips brush your cheek. “And I wouldn’t mind all of them hearing you. But I think you’d be very embarrassed walking past them into the office after this.”

You breathe harshly against his hand, and pressing it against your mouth to signal him to keep it there because you know you’ll definitely not be quiet. He growls, his thrusts growing harsher now that your moans won't reveal you. His fingers resume drawing circles on your clit that has your whimpers coming out muffled against his hand. Your legs are shaking again, mind numb, moaning incoherently into his hand clamped around your mouth. He lets you sink flat onto the desk when you can’t hold yourself up anymore, the coolness of the wood offering some relief to your flushed face. He fucks you until his breaths grow harsher his moans louder before he drapes himself over you.

“You’re mine,” he growls into your ear. He hits a spot deep, deep inside you that has you careening. Combined with his words and his finger on your clit, you lose yourself into pleasure for the second time. The world washes in white as you come, gasping harshly into his hand and dragging nails down his desk, walls squeezing him mercilessly. “Y/n,” he moans, desperate, thrusting into you until he strains and stills suddenly. With another moan of your name, his warmth spills inside you. He lets out a long groan as he shakes before collapsing on top of you.

Both of you fight to catch your breath. After a few minutes, it seems to take all of Taeyong’s energy to drag himself off of you and collapse into the armchair nearby. You’re still gasping over his desk, not trusting your legs to support you if you stand. “Oh my god.”

He chuckles, hand combing through his hair. “Did I get carried away?”

Pleasure is still thrumming across your body, through every inch of every nerve. “Please.. get carried away more often.” He laughs out loud. You push yourself off the desk and shakily stand up.

“Come on, let's get cleaned up,” Taeyong says, tangling his fingers with yours. “I have more things for you in mind at home.”

Your stomach flips. “Still haven’t gotten it out of your system?”

“Nope.”

At home, he gives you so many hickeys that you have to wear a high neck shirt and a scarf when you go to work the next day. When you meet Jungwoo, he only quirks a brow.

“What?” You ask.

“Nothing,” he smiles knowingly. “I’m guessing it's going well with the boss?” You flush under your scarf. “He apologized to me, you know. You wouldn’t happen to have something to do with that, do you?”

“Uh,” your voice comes out high pitched. “Nope no, uh.. he just feels bad.”

He smiles, eyes narrowing. “Does it have anything to do with the scarf you’re wearing in June?“

“Don’t you have work to do?” You snap. He only chuckles and turns back to his computer.

...

Several pass with this routine of work and then staying over at Taeyong’s place some days of the week. The days you do, you wake up from restful slumber with his arms around your waist, his sleepy mumbled protests when you try to leave his arms, even for the bathroom. On the weekends, you spend time making breakfast and sharing kisses and watching funny movies and cleaning his apartment. It’s domestic bliss and you wish it lasted forever.The days when you don’t stay over, you stare at the emptiness of your apartment and wonder if you should just move in with him. You would have said yes already had you not felt so guilty for lying to his face everyday. You can’t even imagine taking that step when he still doesn't know the full truth and how you’ve betrayed him. Judging from his sad expressions any time you pack up and head back to your apartment, you can tell that he wants to ask you to stay for good, to move in, but he hasn’t mentioned the idea after the first time he brought it up.

Apart from this, life is routine for a while. Soon after, however, strange things begin to happen. A few of the lower ranked members get ambushed while running some operations in the city. The following week, a shipment was stolen. A few days later, some high profile clients suddenly decide not to work with the group anymore. And, the worst of all, somebody shoots at Jungwoo on his way to work. Yesterday, Taeyong told you that someone was following his car while heading home. He managed to lose them before they discovered where he lives.

“It’s bewildering,” he said in his office, brows pinched in concern. “No one has ever attacked us like this before. We are the most powerful criminal organization in the city with the highest security. Who could suddenly have access to all our details and carry out attacks like this?”

Today, your stomach churns with dread as you drive home. You remember how shaken everyone was, including Taeyong, and you hope to god it isn’t what you’re thinking. As soon as you step into your apartment, you spot a letter on the floor by the entryway. Someone must have slid it under the door. Come back or we kill him. You have one week. -Y.

The note shakes slightly in your hands. You read the words over and over until they’re seared into your memory. Then you push down the overwhelming sensation of dread swelling up inside you. Your suspicions are confirmed - Yuta’s behind everything. And now he’s exploiting your weakness for Taeyong so that you’ll be forced to come back to him. You don't know how he got access to so much classified information to do as much damage as he did. He seems to be everywhere, attacking everyone at once, out of fury. You wonder if it’s because of you. Either way, it’s only a matter of time before they kill Taeyong.

Still shaking, you crumple up the note and slam it into the trash can. You feel the sting of tears in your eyes and shut the door to your room, collapsing onto your bed. You won’t be able to sleep tonight. You make up your mind about at least one thing, though. Taeyong won’t get hurt again because of you.

...

The next day, you don’t bother checking in with Jungwoo and drag your feet to Taeyong’s office. He stands at his desk, organizing files and smiles at you brightly when you enter the room. Then, he registers the expression on your face. “What’s wrong?” His brows furrow.

You steel yourself with a shaky breath. “I’m leaving.”

His face falls, hands dropping the files onto the desk. “What?”

And suddenly, you can’t hold back your tears. “I’m leaving. I have to leave.”

He registers your tears, realizes you’re crying for the first time in front of him, and swiftly walks over to you. His arms pull you into a hug, pressing your face into his shoulder. “Why? Why are you crying?” Concern heavily laces his voice.

“All these attacks that are happening.. you being followed… it’s all because of me,” you manage out against his chest.

His arms tighten around you, his breath stuttering. “Y/n, what are you talking about?”

You sniff and pull back, taking in his concerned face. It’s likely the last time you’ll see it when he still has love for you, before you tell him the truth. “I was sent by another organization as a spy.” It’s like slow motion, the way his face drains of all emotion and grows hard and shaken. His arms retract away from you as if you’re poison. He steps back suddenly, far out of your proximity and your heart shatters. “I know. I’m a traitor,” you say shakily, staring at the ground so you don’t have to look at that heartbreaking face. “You have every right to be angry.” Tears fill your eyes, emotion choking your words. “But I had no chance with you. I knew even before he sent me here that I’d fall in love with you and I told him as much.”

Taeyong makes no further movements to step close to you. His voice is cold when he speaks. “Who sent you?”

You exhale. “Yuta.” His expression hardens. He knows him. You’re not surprised. Yuta’s mob is second only to Taeyong’s in the city. “He sent me here to gain intel because he knew we were close. He…he knew you would trust me and keep me close despite being a new recruit,” you say wearily. “I told him I didn’t want to but he forced me. It…it was so hard being here, seeing you, lying to you and everyone, you have no idea.” Tears fill your eyes as you chance a glance at him. Taeyong’s face is carefully neutral but his eyes betray him. They are filled with unspeakable hurt. Your heart lurches.

“I gave him some intel about that shipment drop off at the hotel. Then, you got shot. That was because of me.” Taeyong inhales sharply, you can see in his eyes that you’ve shattered his heart further. You feel nauseous. “I didn’t know it would get you hurt. When I saw you injured and bleeding, I called it off. I told Yuta I was never coming back.” Your words stutter and tears slip from your eyes. “So, he took revenge. He’s behind all these recent attacks, all because of me. He sent a note to my apartment yesterday saying either I come back or he’ll kill you.”

Taeyong seems alarmed and then turns thinking, mind working overtime. You continue.

“So many people have already gotten hurt, even Jungwoo, because of me. It’s only a matter of time before you get injured o-or worse and I can't.. I can’t be responsible,” you gasp, wiping your eyes. “So, I have to go back. I have to never see you again.”

Taeyong’s face is unchanging, his voice still cold. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth before? Especially after you called it off with Yuta?”

You exhale. “I should have. I should have told you from the beginning. But I’ve been loyal to Yuta for a decade. After my father escaped, we joined his mob. It’s only because of his protection that the police didn’t catch my father and throw him in jail.” Understanding seeps into Taeyong’s eyes. “I couldn’t betray him. But I couldn’t betray you. I just… I was just stuck,” you bite out, clenching your fists. “And I was afraid if I told you the truth, you’d want me to leave. I was happy here for the first time, with you. I just wanted to disappear into this life, where I didn't have to think about anything else, not even the idea that you’d find out the truth and hate me,” Pain seizes your chest. “I was a coward.”

“But you want to leave now,” he notes, expression still neutral.

You blink at him. “Because you’re in danger. It doesn't matter how I feel anymore.”

He watches you for a second before the slightest hint of emotion shows on his face. “Do you love him?” He swallows, eyes pained. “Yuta?”

“No!” The word falls so quickly from your lips but his pained expression doesn’t shift. “I’m only loyal because he’s like family. Like… like you. I couldn't easily turn against him just like how I couldn’t be against you. But I never loved him,” you say evenly. “And I love you more than anything.”

Taeyong’s expression falters, softens. “If… if I allow you to stay, will you help us bring him down?” He asks carefully.

Words fail you for a moment. You thought Taeyong would yell in anger, throw you out like he did with that man. Instead, he gives you the smallest chance of penance. As of yesterday, you found happiness with Taeyong while Yuta threatens you and uses the love of your life to hurt you. It’s clear he will never see you as anything more than his weapon. And for the first time, everything feels clear. “Yes, I will.”

Taeyong seems relieved. “Then… then stay. Help us bring him down.”

You blink at him, wide-eyed. “You trust me?”

Taeyong looks away. “I don’t know yet. But I can’t just let you go back to him. Who knows what he’ll do to you as punishment.” His hands curl into fists. “And I may not trust you completely, but I still love you. And I’m not losing you again, not after I found you after all these years.” You inhale. You never imagined that this conversation would end in any way other than with you leaving and never seeing Taeyong again. Something painfully tight in your heart loosens and suddenly, tears spill from your eyes. Taeyong reaches for you, then falters for a moment before deciding. He steps forward and pulls you into his arms. His fingers tangle in your hair and press you close to his chest. You melt against him, relishing the sound of his heartbeat as you cry freely. “Shh, it’s okay.”

“I love you,” you cry.

“I know,” he says gently, stroking your hair. He kisses your forehead. “I’m not losing you again.”

...

Over the next few days, you tell Taeyong everything you possibly know about Yuta and your old mob, including sensitive information. You hold nothing back. You know this is the time for endings. Taeyong uses every scrap of your information and turns them into orders for other members, into strategies and plans that will give an advantage, and generally puts things to work to ruthlessly take Yuta down. You are grateful that he does not tell the entire office of your treachery. It only appears as if Taeyong has received a sudden influx of highly sensitive information related to a hostile rival mob in a stroke of good luck. But as members of a criminal organization, not everyone is so naive, and they pick up on your sudden increase in visits to his office. Their warm looks suddenly turn to suspicious glares and wide kept distances.

Jungwoo’s reaction hits you particularly hard. You’re not sure if Taeyong told him the truth about you since he’s his right hand, or if, more likely, Jungwoo found it out by himself. Either way, when you try to speak with him the first day after your revelation, he gives you the cold shoulder. You dont blame him, of course. He gave you information in confidence, which you relayed to the enemy and indirectly put him in danger. Still, your stomach sinks at his aloofness and spreads ice through your heart. You make sure to visit Taeyong’s office only from now on and relay only the necessary information, missing your friend’s twinkling eyes and warm smile the whole time.

Over the course of this work, even Taeyong keeps a distance. He doesn’t show you affection as much as he did before. When he does, it’s with a slightly guarded look in his eyes as if you’ll attack at any moment, with his kisses and touches all too fleeting. Sometimes, you feel lucky if he gives you a smile. You try to blame it on the busyness of work in taking down a rival mob, but it makes your heart crumble all the same. You know he needs time to build back trust, so you give him space. You don’t stay at his place these days and leave work before he can ask. It’s better than him telling you no or, worse, feeling pressured to offer. Whatever he feels, you want to be there for him, always, and hope that he’ll eventually make his way back to you.

With everyone in the entire office regarding you suspiciously, work becomes a cold place. You’re also well aware that the ultimatum’s deadline is approaching, of which Yuta ordered you to come back within a week’s time or he’ll kill Taeyong. You’re sure that it will be more difficult for Yuta to target Taeyong now that the latter has all the dirt on him, has bolstered his defenses and is launching raids and attacks against Yuta, but it still makes you uneasy.

Taeyong seems to remember this too and asks you about it during one of your meetings with him. “Where did you say you found that note from Yuta?”

“My apartment.”

He blinks. “So he knows where you live?” You nod uneasily. He stiffens slightly. “Y/n, you can’t stay there.”

“I know.” You sigh. “I was thinking of secretly moving to a hotel. I’ve been packing and getting ready.”

“No!” He says bewilderedly but cuts himself off with a sigh. “With me. Stay with me.”

You stare at him. “Are you sure?”

He gives you a level gaze. “Of course.”

You hesitate for a few moments before nodding. “Okay. I’ll bring over my things.” His face melts in relief, churning small butterflies in your stomach. Taeyong seems to want to say something else but decides against it and turns back to work. It’s enough though, for you.

“I can take the guest room,” you offer, once you’ve unloaded your boxes and suitcases into his apartment.

“Don’t be silly.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Just use my bed, like you’ve done a million times.” You hesitate, uneasiness stirring in your gut. His dark eyes fix on you. “I don’t hate you, Y/n. You don't have to worry about making me uncomfortable.”

You still don't budge. He makes a show of plopping down on his bed and scooching to the far most end, patting the space beside him. You acquiesce with a sigh and climb in, settling into the sheets and lie down, facing away from him. You relish the familiar feeling of his mattress and his scent on the sheets, remembering the last time you were here before everything changed. “Goodnight Y/n,” Taeyong mumbles behind you.

“Goodnight,” you say into the darkness. Of course, the next day, you wake up tangled in each other's arms. You nearly hate yourself for it. He’s still sleeping and you find yourself quietly admiring his features, as you always do, when you wake up beside him. He looks so angelic and peaceful. You chance a small kiss to his forehead that you don't deserve before tearing yourself away. He catches you, though, arm wrapping around your back to press you to him as his eyelids flutter open. It's silent for a moment before he kisses you. You melt embarrassingly fast in his arms before he pulls away with a sigh. It’s silent for a few moments before you speak.

“I didn’t have a choice,” you say thickly, your heart aching.

“I know.”

“I should've told you. I wanted to tell you.”

“I know,” he smiles, his eyes sad. “Your soft spot is your family and the people around you. And you were stuck between two. I know because it's mine too.” You sigh, blinking back the sting of tears in your eyes. He brings your hand up to kiss your palm. “I forgive you. Now, just forgive yourself.”

A few stray tears make their way down your cheeks. He wipes them gently. “Sorry. You probably prefer a girl who’s much less messy than me,” you laugh weakly.

He shushes you. “In all your rawness, ugliness and truth, that's how I want you.” His words seep into you. He gives you a final kiss to your forehead before removing himself from the bed to get ready for work. You manage to do the same.

...

This new way of life continues for several weeks more. Yuta continues his attacks on the mob but not on the same level as before since Taeyong has been counterattacking and sabotaging his operation, thanks to your help. You continue to supply as much information as you can remember, like how many members Yuta has, where they’re active, who are their allies, what documents he kept in his ever-secretive files. It helps greatly and Yuta’s attacks seem to decrease by the next month.

Everyone’s coldness towards you seems to thaw until you are accepted back as their member, all except for Jungwoo. He still doesn’t speak to you as much as before and when he does, it's curt and quipped, with cold, short words, not spending more time in your presence than necessary. It torments you. You make up your mind to have a direct conversation with Jungwoo so that he knows how sorry you are. But you also haven’t been feeling well suddenly the last few days and have not come into the office all together. Yesterday, your stomach churned as soon as you woke up and Taeyong caught you throwing up in the bathroom. He was worried and fussy and you assured him it must have been some bad fish you ate the day before. He didn’t want to leave you alone, and outright refused at first to go to work, but you assured him you’ll take some medicine and will be fine in a few hours. He left only after ten minutes of convincing and a promise that you’d call him if you were not feeling well.

As soon as he left, you finally let the dread swallow you whole. Could you be pregnant? You recounted that night in Taeyong’s office months ago when you definitely didn't use a condom. You facepalmed. If only you two hadn’t been so far gone with each other that day, you would’ve remembered. You tried to relax. Maybe it was something else. You did, in fact, eat fish the day before. One pregnancy test would have solved this question but you decided to do it later. Today, you’re determined to come into work and talk to Jungwoo. Damn your queasy stomach. He’s your only focus. Thankfully, you manage not to throw up this morning and unnecessarily worry Taeyong. Instead, you get ready and drive to work with him. As soon as you get into the office, you make your way to Jungwoo who is busy with some emails on his computer.

“Jungwoo?” He doesn’t turn to face you, his full attention fixed on his screen. “Can we talk?” He sucks his teeth and doesn’t bother to turn around. “Look, I know I’ve-” An unpleasant nausea rises in your stomach, and suddenly you’re bolting towards the female restroom without another word. When you finally emerge back onto the main floor after emptying your guts, you spot Jungwoo staring at you from his desk, eyes narrowed suspiciously. You approach him, giving him a pathetic attempt at a smile. “Just some bad tuna.”

“For three days in a row?” He asks. You merely stare at him in question as to how he could possibly know that. “I know you haven’t come into work the past few days,” he answers. You stare at the ground, tapping your shoe against the carpet, feeling foolish. He releases a sigh. “Does Taeyong know?” You shake your head and grumble, rubbing your forehead.

“Why not?”

You exhale. “I… I'm still processing it myself. I'll tell him soon. I just need my head to clear.” you say wearily.

“Does anyone else know?” He asks. You shake your head. Jungwoo watches you with an unreadable expression. Then, he adjusts the chair beside him, the one that used to be yours. “Sit,” he instructs. You gaze at him with a glimmer of hope and obey. Once you do, he turns to face you, brows pinched in concern. “How are you feeling?”

“Nauseous,” you grimace, pressing your hands to your abdomen. He bites back a laugh.

“I can guess. I meant your mind.”

You slink in your chair. “I'm scared. A mob at war is no place for a child.”

He nods. “And how do you feel about telling Taeyong?”

“Not much better. I’m sure he’ll be happy. I’m not worried about that. But for many months, I'll be… pregnant… and vulnerable.. With this war, if I fall into danger or if anybody takes me, I think he’ll destroy everything, even himself, trying to get me back.” You gaze at the carpet, deep in thought. “And I’m also afraid he’ll lock me up and never let me do anything out of fear for my safety.”

“Well, for the first one, you don't have to be pregnant for him to destroy everything to get you back,” Jungwoo says, smiling “And the second one, yeah, he would probably do that.”

You chuckle, glancing at him. “I know I have to tell him. I’m just… figuring out how to, I guess.”

“You’ll figure it out,” he reassures you.

A few moments of silence settles between you. “I missed you,” you finally admit, watching the unguarded flinching emotion in his face before he attempts to shutter it away. You cover his hand with yours. “I’m sorry, I truly am.”

Jungwoo gazes at you then, sincerely, and whatever resistance he’s trying to put up against you fails. “I know. I'm sorry too. I'm here for you, you know?” You nearly tear up in relief. You tug him into a hug, which he reciprocates easily. Warmth spreads through your chest and to your heart that has been aching for months. Then, Jungwoo tugs himself away from you. “Careful, I don't want Boss yelling at me again.”

You laugh. “I won't let him do that. It's the reason why I got pregnant anyway,” you mumble.

He looks at you sharply “What?”

“Nothing!” You stand up suddenly. “I uh.. am late, bye.” You hear him laughing as you scurry off.

...

You join Taeyong in his office to help out on some work. Your stomach seems to settle down the rest of the day, thankfully. Your brain swims while you watch Taeyong work busily, trying to figure out how to break the news to him. Would he be happy? Of course he would. You know he wants this more than anything. You just have to work up the nerve. Maybe you can later, when you return home. The day ends and he drives you back to his place, as he’s been doing for weeks since you’ve moved in with him. “You know, it’s nice having you live with me. It feels almost as if we’re married.”

You snort. “We don’t argue enough to be married.”

He chuckles. “We’re happily married, how’s that?” He offers.

“Oh, so that’s why people specify the phrase ‘happily’ before the word ‘married’.”

“Yes,” he laughs. Once you get into his apartment and settle in, he gives you a look. “I would marry you, you know.”

Your cheeks heat up. He looks sincere. “Really?”

His eyes twinkle. “Yes.”

You gaze at him, speechless with emotion before you remember your news. “I need to tell you something.” His brows quirk as he undoes his wrist watch. Just then, the elevator dings behind you, signaling someone has gotten on from the bottom floor. Both of you freeze and turn to face the metal doors.

“That’s strange. No one has access to the elevator except Jungwoo. Did he tell you he was coming over?” Taeyong asks. You check your phone. No text messages or calls. Chills run down your spine as you stare at him and shake your head slowly. Taeyong’s eyes widen. Then, the doors ding open and you realize it’s most definitely not Jungwoo. “Y/n, get back!” Taeyong shouts.

Four or five men with guns step out of the doors and into the penthouse. It’s a surreal sight but they are all familiar. Yuta’s men. You scramble backwards away from them but one lunges to catch your sleeve and drag you off the chair towards them. You barely register Taeyong grabbing the gun from his dresser and aiming at them with a shout to let you go. The man who has you in his grip whirls you around to face Taeyong and presses a gun to your head. All the color drains from Taeyong’s face, but he doesn’t lower the gun. The man holding you captive growls behind you. “She belongs to us. We’re taking her back.” His arm bars your neck and presses hard until you wince. “Yes, bring even traitors like you back,” he snarls into your ear.

Taeyong flinches as if to make a move but all guns suddenly train on him and he freezes once more. You merely gaze at Taeyong, trying to apologize with your eyes. His face is hard, his eyes a storm of emotions. His gun is still aimed at your captors, both hands wrapped around the handle, one finger around the trigger but you know he’s outnumbered. The gun against your temple pushes into your skin. “If you make one move, we’ll shoot her right here.”

Taeyong’s eyes flash. “Why don’t you just take me instead? Or kill me? Isn’t that what your boss wanted from the beginning?”

“Because someone would just replace you. Why do you think Yuta didn’t just send her as an assassin? We want to destroy your organization from the inside out. And she,” the gun nudges your head. “Is the key. She knows all your secrets by now. And as long as we have her, we’ll control you.” Another man speaks up. “But that doesn’t mean we won’t kill you and her if you try anything.”

“It's okay. I’ll be okay.” You reassure Taeyong as calmly as you can.

Taeyong’s eyes shine, the gun wavering in his hands before he lowers it. “I’ll get you back, I promise.”With that, the men are stepping back into the elevator, dragging you with them. Your last view is Taeyong’s distressed, anguished face before the metal doors close.

...

After a never ending van ride with your familiar kidnappers calling you a traitor and telling you to wait until Yuta gets his hands on you, you end up back at his base, sitting in a dark, empty room with a single chair and a lightbulb dangling above you. You know this room. It’s one of the rooms they used to question enemies and prisoners, although “question” is an understatement, you think, spotting the faded bloodstains on the ground. Just then, the door opens to reveal a familiar face with long red hair. “Long time no see, Boss” you hum as Yuta steps into the dim light of the room.

He looks angry. His eyes glint as he slowly circles you. “Yes,” he gives a fake smile. “I recall the last time I saw you, when you were still loyal.”

“Yes, that was a while ago. Many things have changed since then.”

He snorts. “Things, huh?” He stops in front of you, peering down. “Why don’t you tell me every single piece of intel you know about that place, just like I ordered you to?”

You match his glare. “Do you need it? You seem to be managing fine against them on your own.”

Yuta grits his teeth. “Not anymore. Your boyfriend put up a good fight against us. You saw to that, I’m sure.”

“How did you manage to do that much damage in the first place?” You ask.

“I wasn’t aware this was my interrogation session.” He growls. “Besides, I don’t answer to traitors. You’re lucky you're even alive to ask questions. I could've had you killed for your treachery instead of being taken.”

You huff out a laugh. “Then you would’ve lost your precious chance to use me to take down Taeyong’s mob.”

His eyes flare. “Right, Taeyong. The one you threw everything out for.”

“I told you when you gave me this case and I didn’t want to take this one. I told you the risk.”

“I didn't think we’d lose you so easily. After ten years, you throw that loyalty away?”

You glare at him. “Ten years is not enough for me to put my loyalty to you over him.”

He seems to falter. Then, he steels himself, eyes flashing with anger. “How long then? Twenty years?” You don’t reply. ”Fifty? One hundred?” When you still don’t respond, he throws his hands in the air. “I don’t believe this.”

“It's not personal, it's just-”

“Yes, it is personal!” He jabs a finger into your face. “I send you to do a job and you throw out everything we built together over some crush!?”

“You know by now it’s not some crush!” You bite back. The anger on his face crumbles a little into surprise. You sigh frustratedly. “You don’t understand. I didn’t have a choice. I was stuck between you and him. I couldn’t betray either of you. Do you know I didn’t rat you out right away? I didn’t tell Taeyong or anyone until you sent me that fucking note. And when I did tell them, it was because I was going to leave and come back to you. That’s when they saw me as a traitor. I was loyal and a traitor to both sides.”

Yuta falls silent for a few moments before speaking quietly. “But you didn’t come back to me. You stayed and helped him take me down. You made your decision in the end.”

“Yes, I did. But it’s because you were going to kill him. It’s not because you meant nothing to me.”

He falls quiet again. “Tell me what you know of the Scorpion, Y/n.” You stay silent, staring at the floor. “You know this business. If you don't tell me what you know and prove to me your allegiance, you’re of no use to me.”

“What then? Are you going to torture me? Kill me?” You ask him. “Would you do that to me, Yuta?”

He doesn’t respond. He only turns and walks out the door, speaking over his shoulder. “You have one day to make up your mind.”

....

Taeyong is losing his mind. Jungwoo has never seen him like this. He called an emergency meeting, had people come back into the office to assemble in the conference room, and proceeded to pace and ramble and stumble over his words as he tried to explain the situation. He runs his hand through his hair until it stuck up on the ends, even stopping to kick a chair over in frustration. Jungwoo still can’t believe you were taken from his apartment. He figures they must have tracked you somehow. “I want everyone to split up and come up with plans to get her back,” Taeyong orders, his voice uneven. “We already know where his base is, thanks to her. We’ll meet back here in ten minutes. Dismissed.”

The room empties out with people already mumbling ideas. Taeyong goes back to pacing, scratching the back of his head nervously before growing taut. Then, he kicks another chair over with a frustrated grunt. It’s only then does he notice Jungwoo is still in the room. “Ah,” he blinks, embarrassed, staring at the chair. “I was just… just frustrated.”

“I know this is a dumb question, but are you okay?” Jungwoo asks.

Taeyong’s face crumbles into despair. “They just took her… right out from under me, they just came in and pointed a gun at her head and took her.”

“I know,” Jungwoo tries to sound soothing. “I’ll help in any way I can.”

Taeyong doesn’t look reassured. His brows are pinched and his lips have been twisted in a perpetual frown since he walked in here. “We have to come up with a plan.”

Jungwoo nods. “Any ideas so far?”

Taeyong chews his lip. “Maybe we can just raid his base with sheer manpower. She can figure out how to run or hide in the commotion. If she gets her hand on a weapon, she can even help us out before we get her out of there.”

Jungwoo’s stomach churns, remembering how, just today, you couldn’t get through a full conversation with him without vomiting. Worse yet, you’ve been like this for the past three days. The plan doesn’t seem like the best idea given your condition. “I don’t know about having her join the fight. We have to keep her protected at all costs.”

Taeyong looks at him inquisitively. “I mean, she can handle herself. She’s a trained soldier.”

Jungwoo realizes you never got the chance to tell Taeyong the truth. “She didn’t tell you?”

Taeyong blinks. “Tell me what?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Silence blares loudly in the room for a full minute. All emotion drains from Taeyong’s face only to be replaced with shock. “What?”

“She’s pregnant. I caught her throwing up just this morning.”

Taeyong looks dazed. “She’s pregnant..?” Jungwoo nods. Taeyong’s eyes become misty. He suddenly grips his forehead. “She told me it was bad tuna.”

Jungwoo bites back a laugh. “She told me that too.” He watches Taeyong blink back tears and take a breath, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “Boss, listen. We can't let her fight on her own. She’s not well as it is and can barely keep her food down. On top of that, the baby…”

“The baby...” Taeyong breathes. His eyes are a million miles away. “Her and my baby… and,” His eyes grow cold, jaw clenching. “And Yuta took her.”

“Yes, he did.” Jungwoo says. “And he might kill her tonight if she doesn't give him any useful information.”

All panic is gone from Taeyong. Now he’s cold, rigid, familiar, the one that Jungwoo is used to. “We’re not going to show mercy.” Taeyong growls. “And we’ll find a way that doesn't put her.. or.. our baby.. at risk.”

Jungwoo grins. “Yes, Boss.”

...

You’re locked in a cell for the night. Not really a cell, more like one of their spare bedrooms that can be locked from the outside. It’s not too bad; it has a bed and a bucket. The bucket is particularly useful for your nausea bouts that have started up again since they locked you in here. Even if you try to escape, it will be difficult in your condition. Fatigue aches throughout your body. Your head feels light and your stomach is perpetually queasy. Being kidnapped, questioned and thrown into a cell certainly hasn’t helped. At least they gave you some semblance of a dinner, you think, eyeing the slop of food in a bowl on your table.

You can’t sleep, obviously, and opt to keep your mind busy during this insufferable silence. You try to trace how Yuta knew where Taeyong’s penthouse was in order to kidnap you. Then, it hits you. Your old cell phone that you threw out because Yuta was tracking it - you did that after you visited Taeyong’s place for the first time. Yuta must have just figured that any place you were staying at for a long stretch of time that wasn’t the office or your apartment was Taeyong’s.You wonder what Taeyong must be thinking. He was so panicked when you saw him last, understandably. You told him the location of Yuta’s base weeks ago, so he definitely knows where you are. He’s probably on his way here right now, or hopefully before tomorrow.

You wonder if Yuta would really have you killed tomorrow if you don’t cooperate. He’s always been strict, mean, ruthless, but never entirely heartless. You find it hard to imagine him being able to execute you after spending a decade together.

Suddenly, the sound of shouting and banging doors erupts from outside. Then, gunfire. You shoot up in bed and catch the sight of people running to and fro through the small window of your door. It looks like Taeyong came early after all.

...

“We attack from the front main entrance in heavy numbers. Jungwoo, you lead this group. A small group will loop around the side. There should be a back entrance that will likely not be guarded because of the commotion at the front. I’ll slip in there and find her,” Taeyong instructed the team.

They follow it perfectly. As Taeyong slips through the back entrance and descends into the underground base, he hears shouting, gunfire and footsteps bounding down hallways. He quietly navigates the abandoned backrooms. He vaguely remembers you describing the layout of this place once. If he remembers correctly, the place where they hold prisoners should be…He turns the corner and finds a series of doors lining the entire hallway. Behind each one is a bedroom. All of them are empty except for one whose light is filtering through the small window of its door. Anticipation swells inside him as he dashes to the room, muttering a prayer that you be okay.

The door is locked. He curses and peers through the window. He sees your face, alarmed and caught off guard before you register that it’s him. The sweetest relief floods him at the sight of you unharmed. You mouth something that he can't hear before you motion to the outside wall at the end of the hallway. He follows the line of sight and spots keys dangling on a wall hook. He dashes over to grab them before running back, unlocking the door and shouldering it open. You’re swallowed in a hug so quickly you can barely breathe. Taeyong’s arms are around you, squeezing you to him, tucking you under his chin, before running through your hair and cupping your cheeks. He’s mumbling questions and you realize he's checking to see if you're injured. You can feel him trembling. “Hey, hey, I’m okay,” you reassure him, holding his hands that are cupping your cheeks.

Anxiety bleeds from his face. He checks you one again, then pulls you in for another crushing hug. You can’t help but sigh and melt in his arms, grateful that he’s here. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he murmurs.

“It's not your fault.” You rub his back. Another round of gunfire erupts in the background. “We have to get out of here.”

He pulls away. “No, we’re not running. Yuta will just come after us. We’re going to defeat him here.”

Your stomach flips. “Defeat… Will you kill him?”

Taeyong’s brows furrow. “Yes. He was going to kill you wasn't he?”

“I know… I just-” More gunfire rings out. You turn to Taeyong. “Give me a gun. I can help. I know their weaknesses and where to hide in this place.”

Emotion envelops his face. He cups your cheek softly. “Not this time.”

“Why not?”

“You… the baby…” he trails off, his eyes shining.

“Oh,” you swallow. “Jungwoo told you.”

He releases a breath, lips curling into a small smile before he presses his forehead to yours. “Yeah, he did.”

The sounds of gunfire and shouting grow louder. “I can help, Taeyong. It can make a lot of difference out there. What if our guys run into a dead end hallway and get shot down? I can help everyone navigate this place, especially where to retreat to.”

He pulls away from you. “No.”

Your eyes roam his face. “Please. I'll hide. What if you take more losses because you could have used me?”

“That’s a risk I'll take.”

“Taeyong…”

“Please, just for this one time, please do as I say.”

You fall silent. He’s never given you an order before. His hand slips from your cheek as he turns towards the door and the sound of gunfire. You make a last attempt. “I'll hide, I'll keep safe. I just want to help.” He shakes his head one more time, steps out of the room and closes the door, automatically locking it from the outside. You speechlessly stare at him through the small window. He gives an apologetic look before running off. You stare in disbelief and then rattle the door handle. It doesn't budge. The sound of gunfire rises and you anxiously wonder if it's because Taeyong entered their line of sight. If he gets hurt again when you could've done something about it….

You slam your palms against the door this time, desperation and anger rising inside of you. He locked you in here like another prisoner. “This is not happening,” you mumble. More gunfire rings out. Someone shouts in pain. Tears sting your eyes. There must be some way.

You look through the door window at the ground of the hallway outside and spot the keys on the floor close by. Taeyong must've dropped them as soon as he unlocked the door and ran to hug you. You kneel and find a big enough gap under the door for your palm. You stick your hand out, fingers brushing the edge of the keys. You pinch them with your fingertips and drag it through the door successfully.

You stand up and exhale in victory, fumbling with the keys. You unlock the door from your side and make your escape. Gunfire echoes from all around you, from every floor and hallway. Most of the people you find along the way are unconscious or too injured to fight, and a few you fear may be dead. Most of them are Yuta’s men. You know almost all of them and it makes your heart ache. Then, you hear Taeyong’s shout and all blood drains to your legs. You sprint into the main hall and spot Taeyong’s familiar pistol on the floor by the door to Yuta’s office, which is open. Your stomach lurches and panic seizes your brain. You fight down the rising nausea in your stomach and run through the door.

Taeyong is bleeding on the floor in front of you, clutching his leg while Yuta stands by his desk, the same spot where he gave you this mission all those days ago. His gun is aimed directly at Taeyong. Without thinking, you hurl yourself into his path.

“Stop!” You shout.

“Y/n!?” Yong shouts in disbelief. “What are you doing here!? I told you to stay there!”

You glare at Yuta who’s been frozen since you first stepped in his line of sight. “If you’re going to shoot him, you’ll have to shoot me first.”

Yuta stares at you, gun still aimed. His face is hard but uncertain. “You’d give up your life just for him?” You don’t respond but your expression is all Yuta needs as an answer. Taeyong gives a protesting groan behind you. The sound of gunfire tapers off in the distance. The raid sounds like it's coming to a close. Yuta releases a breath, his gun wavering. “All I wanted to do was take down the Scorpion. You made it so, so difficult. I only retaliated.” Yuta grits his teeth.

“You harassed my people, infiltrated my organization, and tried to assassinate me. Taking her was the final slight,” Taeyong growled. “Don’t act like you are the victim.”

Yuta glowers. “Y/n, I will let you walk out of here right now if you step out of the way.”

“Walk away, huh? So what about that ultimatum you gave me when you brought me back here?” You ask him. “You were never going to kill me if I didn't give you intel because you can’t do it.”

Yuta avoids your eyes and doesn't respond. You were right; he has a soft spot for you too. “So, what’s it going to be? Will you kill us both?” you ask.

Silence fills the room. His gun is still trained on you. Then, you hear Taeyong’s voice from behind you. “She's pregnant.”

Shock envelops Yuta’s face. His gun wobbles before he lowers it. He seems to search for confirmation in your face and finds it. He groans, running his hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

You stare at him, perplexed. He turns around and grips the edge of his desk, head falling forward in defeat. When you realize he’s not going to shoot, you immediately kneel by Taeyong’s side and check his injuries. There's a gash below his knee but it doesn't seem terribly serious. “Y/n,” Taeyong whispers. “Grab my gun back there and shoot him while he’s distracted.”

You freeze. “What? I can’t do that.”

Taeyong’s brows furrow. “Y/n-“

“She won’t kill me if that’s what you're whispering about," Yuta calls, sighing heavily before turning around to face you once more. “She’s too soft. Too attached.” His head falls forward. “What a fucking weakness,” he mumbles, almost to himself.

“And you?” Taeyong glares. “You won't kill me as soon as she's not in your line of sight?”

Yuta only looks on tiredly. “No. I’m not going to take a father away from his kid before it's even born.” Silence fills the room. It looks like Taeyong doesn’t know what to think. You remember how Yuta has always refused to hurt children and, if he could help it, parents. It's why he and his father gave you a chance to join this mob when your family was on the run. Similar to Taeyong, there's a softness behind the ruthlessness that sets their mobs apart from all others in the city. “Everything I built is gone,” Yuta sighs tiredly. “Most of my men are dead or injured, my base is discovered.”

You help Taeyong sit up, and tear a cloth from your shirt to wrap it around his wound. “We both did some bad damage,” Taeyong grunts as you tend to his injury. “We seriously compromised each other. Worse yet, we’re the two biggest mobs in the city and now we’re handicapped. The worse, less moral, more violent ones will try to take over.”

Yuta hisses. “The ones peddling drugs and trafficking humans. They will turn this city into a fucking warzone while vying for power.”

Taeyong nods in agreement. His bleeding seems to have stopped. He sits up with a wince. Yuta stares glumly at the ground.

“Maybe you both can come to a truce,” You suggest, catching their attention. “I know we’re literally sitting in the aftermath of a bloodbath of a mob war but… if you have a common interest, maybe you can come to an agreement or ceasefire or….” you trail off as both men stare at you as if you’ve grown two heads. You sigh exasperatedly. “Do you want Johnny’s mob taking over? The one that's already terrorizing that club we went to and probably every other establishment in the city?”

Taeyong and Yuta exchange glances. They seem to come to a begrudging, silent understanding. Taeyong turns to you. “Ceasefire for now. We’ll… talk about this later. We have to check on our members.”

You eye Yuta in question. His eyes are narrowed and you know he’s mulling over every angle and opportunity in his head. In the end, he exhales. “Fine. Ceasefire. Go tend to your wounded.”

...

In all, a handful were injured. A few died. You find Jungwoo unharmed and give him the tightest possible hug. Once you leave the base, Taeyong gets checked over at a hospital. They don’t ask any questions, as always, since they have a general idea he’s with the mob that runs the city. You stay with him overnight until he's discharged in the morning. Both of you return to his place after that and try to recover over the next few days. Taeyong orders the office closed for a few weeks. He says that, after everything that’s happened, people need time to process the loss of life, assess the damages and heal mentally and physically. Yuta honors the ceasefire and, for a few weeks, it seems as if there is peace.

A few days after the raid, you finally register the dull anger broiling in your stomach. You find yourself keeping a slight distance from Taeyong whenever he’s nearby and you realize, for the first time, that you are angry with him. He realizes this too and finally speaks on it one evening when both of you are watching television in his bedroom. “Back in Yuta’s base, you know why I had to leave you in there, right?”

“No, I don't.” You sit up from the bed to face him. “You almost died. Maybe it all would’ve been better if I joined and we talked Yuta down sooner.”

Taeyong frowns. “Or he would’ve hurt you. You trust in his goodness too much. I was only trying to protect you.”

“It didn't feel like protection. It felt like an easy way to guarantee your peace of mind at the cost of my free will.” You stare at him. “You cannot make decisions for me.”

“I can if you’re carrying our child.” He glares back.

You purse your lips. “I’m aware that I need to protect myself and the baby, but I wanted to protect other people too, just like you. That isn’t something you can order me not to do. You’re not the Boss in everything.” You pull away from him and slide off the bed.

“Y/n.” His expression of anger turns to pleading.

“Do you know how helpless I felt? You could have been dying and I would have been stuck behind that door. And if all of you were killed, what then? I’d just be stuck there, with no one to come get me out.”

“But we weren't killed and you did get out. Somehow,” he says bluntly. His expression looks like a parent’s who is chastising their child for disobeying orders. The look you gave must have been so full of disappointment since he sighs and acquiesces. “I wasn't thinking much at the time. I was just afraid you’d deny my order and run into combat, which you did. I… needed to keep you somewhere safe.”

“Keep me or lock me?” You huff. “It felt so insulting to be physically locked away and not being allowed to do what I thought was best at the time in my mind because fear clouded yours. Why are your wishes more important than mine?”

Taeyong visibly slumps against the headboard. “No. They are not more important. I was just.. selfish and scared. When they..” He falters before his voice comes out shaky. “When they came here, put a gun to your head and took you from my own place where I should've been able to keep you safe, I thought you were dead. I lost it. Every minute when I didn't know you were okay, I was losing my mind.” He releases a heavy sigh, blinking back tears. “Then when I saw you again unharmed in that cell, I was so relieved. I couldn't bear the thought of you being in danger again and I just acted on my feelings.” He swallows. “I’m sorry.”

Your heart lurches. You climb back into his bed and take him into your arms. “I didn't think of that. I’m sorry too.” He sniffs and presses himself closer. What a mess, you think. Injured twice, put in danger’s path too many times, all with a baby on the way. “This is no life for a child,” you sigh, tickling his hairs under your chin. “I wish we could get away from all this.”

His hand presses against your stomach. “Maybe we can.” You glance at him in question. “I can step down as boss. We can abandon this violent life, raise our child safely and live in peace.”

You blink, gazing down at him. “That sounds like a dream. But you said the mob was compromised and the city will suffer.”

His words come out muffled against your chest. “Maybe Yuta could take over.”

Your brain grinds to a halt. “What?”

You pull back to look at him. He sighs, propping his head on his arm. “I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I can’t think straight right now. Too much has happened recently.” He glances at you. “But we originally kept other mobs in check. We kept the city stable and safe to an extent. But now, we’ve destroyed each other. Others will challenge us. If we merge into one organization, we can consolidate power and retain our standing.” He chances a look up at you. “Besides, I’m impressed with how he was so good at finding out our top secret information. He might be a boon to our team.”

You release a breath, sliding down against the headboard. “I never thought I’d hear that from you.”

He shrugs. “I didn’t know the extent of the damage we were doing to each other until we were in his base, surrounded by bodies, from both sides. Not to mention our months of attacks against each other before that.” he sighs. “People have taken it hard here. We are weakened.” He says. “And Yuta didn’t…. he kill me when he could have. I would have killed him in his position. I guess that’s something.”

You gaze at him. “So is this the truce you will offer him? Merging? And you’ll step down and make him boss?”

He winces. “I don’t know about making him boss. He can run his own unit as part of our larger organization if he chooses. But I’ll step down.” He says, smiling. “And we can live far away from the violence and never think about it again.”

“That… sounds almost too good to be true.”

He takes your hand and kisses it. “We deserve it after all these years. I want to be a father rather than a kingpin. I’d much rather be by your side raising our baby and being your h… um,” he averts his eyes and clears his throat. “Being domestic.”

Your heart melts, noticing the pink tint to his cheeks. “You do love domesticity.” You chuckle. “Who will take your place then?”

Taeyong grins. “I think someone deserves a promotion.”

...

Over the next few weeks, Taeyong notifies Yuta of the proposed plan, who begrudgingly accepts. He also tells the office about the news of the merger, earning loud protests of outrage. “We’re supposed to work alongside the people that killed us!?” One member shouts.

Taeyong gazes around the conference room. “It’s either this or we close down. Given what’s happened, it will be extremely difficult to climb back to where we were,” he explains. “We will be vulnerable to attacks by other mobs and more people will die. If we don’t come to an agreement with Yuta, he might begin attacking us again as well. This will repeat for a while.” Grumbled murmurs echo around the room. “Also, I will be stepping down.”

That gets even louder shouts. Taeyong raises his hands signaling everyone to settle down.

“You said we’re compromised but you’re going to leave us without a leader!?” A woman protests.

“Someone will replace me, of course. Someone who is far better suited to the position than me, someone who is much more intelligent and perceptive will be a force to be reckoned with if anyone dares challenge us from now on.” Taeyong smiles, eyes fixing on one person. “Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo looks stunned. The mumbles of protests pause entirely for a few moments before they turn into cheers and hollers. Someone slaps him on the back a few times in congratulations and he blinks as if in a daze. “Me? As Boss?”

Taeyong grins. “Do you accept?” Jungwoo blinks furiously before nodding. “Then, congratulations.” The room bursts into applause. Absolutely no one objects to his appointment. Jungwoo has always been the most intelligent and discerning, and will no doubt be a force to be reckoned with against any of the mob’s enemies. Within a few days, Taeyong officially hands over the position, his office, and the reigns to his right hand.

...

In the following weeks, Taeyong exchanges a few calls with Yuta, mostly on how to merge the organizations, and discuss grievances and conditions. They settle on some specific deal you don’t understand, but it must be adequate since Yuta agrees to merge and actually comes over to the office for a few meetings. Within a month, they officially merge and things seem to stabilize and run smoothly. Jungwoo takes to the new role quickly as well. He already knows the inner workers of the mob so he needs very little training. In turn, Taeyong is able to resign fully. Jungwoo insists on throwing a going away party, filled with some teary goodbyes, congratulations and well wishes with the pregnancy. From here, you can begin to believe things will actually get better.

With all the new free time, Taeyong is able to help take care of you for the rest of your pregnancy. He supports you through all your woes, like making you food, holding your hair back while you’re hurling into the toilet, massaging your aching muscles. Some nights he props his chin onto your stomach, speaking to the baby with a light in his eyes. It’s the deepest peace you’ve ever felt. A month later, your morning sickness evens out and you identify the faintest change in the protrusion of your stomach. A baby bump. When you first show him, Taeyong is over the moon. He can’t keep his hands off your tummy. His eyes shine and lips are curled into a smile that stays for a week. It’s also when you chance a question at Taeyong that you meant as a suggestion, just something to think about, but it changes everything. It’s when you’re lounging in bed, one of those restful days. Sunlight pours in through the blinds and the television is low in the background. “Taeyong?” He hums in question. “Do you want to get married?”

A beat of silence passes. “...What?” You chance a glance at him. He’s absolutely shocked. Heat flares on your cheeks in embarrassment.

“I don't know… I just thought maybe someday we can. I know we don't have to, but I just thought we’re going to be together… I mean, forever, right?” You blush. “That came out cheesy. I meant neither of us have any intention to leave, so might as well-”

He cuts you off with a kiss and pulls away before you can even process it. “Yes, yes, yes,” he litters butterfly kisses across your face and pulls you into a hug. You melt, laughing into his shoulder. “I thought you wouldn’t want to.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You giggle. “We’re already having a whole kid together.”

“I don’t know,” he pulls back, a smile curled wide over his lips. It’s wonderful to see him happy. “I want to. I definitely want to.”

Your heart soars. “Then let’s get married.”

....

It’s short work to plan your wedding. Neither if you want it too large, but much of the office is invited to reception afterwards. It arrives in another month, your belly swelling a little bit more by then, but not noticeable under your wedding dress. The ceremony is emotional and filled with reverence. You’ll never forget the sight of your groom in his tux, shining eyes and smile, calling you his wife and him your husband, the words like magic on your tongue. The reception afterwards is a jubilant contrast, full of dancing and drinking. A few colleagues, including Jungwoo, pat you on the back in congratulations. You pass the night in a tizzy of dancing and laughing until a familiar figure enters the hall. You think it’s a stranger before you realize it’s Yuta. He spots you, eyes running over your wedding dress before giving you a smile. “Yuta?” You ask in disbelief. “I can’t believe…”

“That I'm here at your wedding? Neither can I.” He laughs a little, surveying the venue hall before focusing on you again. “Taeyong invited me.” You stare at him in surprise. He shrugs. “We are business partners and all.” He grabs a glass of champagne off of a passing waiter’s dish. “Surprisingly, it seems that your husband and I work well together.”

You bite your tongue but can’t seem to hold the words back. “How can we know that you’re not going to split and attack us again when you’ve recovered enough power?”

He blinks. “What, and repeat the same cycle that ended me up here? Don’t worry. I’m not that stupid, sweetheart.” He says, and suddenly, you’re the one who feels stupid. “You look beautiful by the way. Your father would have been proud.” Emotion grips you without warning. Yuta gives you a final smile and turns away, sipping his champagne as he disappears in the mesh of guests and dancing.

The rest of the evening passes in a blur of chatter, smiles, drinks, dancing and food. When the night ends, you and Taeyong climb into his car to the whoops and hollers of the crowd, and drive back to his place. You both would have been tipsy out of your mind and gone straight to bed, but since you can’t drink, Taeyong refuses to as well, claiming emotional support. That leaves time for other things.

“Alright, how do you want this to go down?” You ask, undoing your jewelry in front of his vanity.

Taeyong laughs, unzipping your dress when you offer your back to him. “You mean for our wedding night?” You nod as you slip off the gown and sigh at the freedom of not being weighed down by a thousand pounds of fabric. He eyes you as you undo the rest of your jewelry, your hair and underclothes. “I can think of one thing.”

“And what’s that?” You ask, catching sight of him through the mirror. He’s leaning against the bedpost with his arms crossed, still dressed in his tux but without the jacket, looking as handsome as ever.

"I think I'd like to be your plaything for a while.” Your brain grinds to a halt. You turn to blankly stare at him. He smirks. "What's the matter?” He reaches out to place his hands on your hips. "I promise I won't resist whatever you want to do to me.”

You swallow thickly. “You’re teasing me.”

"Oh, I'm not teasing you at all, love,” He smiles softly, his hands tightening slightly around your hips. "I'm giving myself up to you.” You blink hard. A former kingpin at the complete mercy of his wife. Just the thought of it has heat blazing through your body. His voice breaks you out of your thoughts. "Play with me, tease me, do this however you want. I’m yours,” his lips brush your jaw. “I’ll be your good boy.”

You inhale deeply as his arms wrap around your waist and press you to him. “You’ll do anything?” He hums in acknowledgement, kissing down your neck. “Alright,” you test, “kneel for me.”

He smirks, and steps away from you. He then kneels down, lowering himself until his knees hit the ground and he’s peering up at you. “You… you actually did it.” you breathe.

His eyes dance with amusement. "What, did you expect me to disobey you?” He chuckles softly, and his eyes going dark. "Or is it just seeing me on my knees that's making you lose your train of thought?”

“Uh… yes.. it's the knees.”

He grins, reaching out to caress your calf. “Now what should I do?”

“I don't know. I didn't think I'd get this far.”

He laughs. Then, he takes your hand and begins kissing your palm. “Use me, love.”

Heat flares in your stomach. You cup his cheek gently. “Would anyone have suspected the mob king lord of everything was so submissive? And obedient at that?”

He nuzzles into your hand. “I think they all know me pretty well. Besides, I’m only like this for you.”

“Hmm,” you move your hand to cup his chin and rest your thumb on his bottom lip. You do it out of curiosity, but his lips close around your thumb without hesitation. His dark eyes burn into yours as his tongue circles your thumb. You are struck with a flashback to that evening in the office, how he held you down against his desk with his gaze burning into yours and ate you within an inch of your life. Heat burns and pools through your body. You pull your hand away, tug him up to stand again and kiss him hard. He groans into your lips, arms wrapping tightly around your waist and mouth parting immediately to grant you entrance. He lets you completely dominate the kiss, your tongue sliding past his lips. His demeanor is so different from that time in his office. He’s much more vocal now, whiney even. His lips are soft and pliant, his brows knitted in slight desperation, his hands roaming over your body. You break for air and plant kisses under his jaw.

“My good boy,” you mumble. His eyes flutter closed and he releases a loud groan. You pull away to take him in. His lips are stained from your lipstick, his hair that was neatly combed before now slightly messy, his dress shirt rumpled, eyes lidded and mouth panting. “Get on the bed.” He obeys quickly. You watch as he settles against the headboard before waiting for your next order, his eyes expectant and eager to please. “Take off your vest and shirt.” He listens without complaint. He tilts his head back to undo the tie at his collar before throwing it to the floor, then unbuttons his vest and dress shirt underneath. He works with urgency, nimble fingers determinedly undoing every part of his ensemble all because you asked.

Now free from your garments except your slip underdress, you comfortably climb onto the bed to rest beside him. His dark eyes fixate on you as the final button is undone. He tears off his dress shirt and throws it off to the side, revealing his familiar bare torso that encourages your eyes to run across his tattoos.“You’re beautiful,” you mumble before leaning over and kissing him deep. He melts immediately, hands cupping your cheeks to pull you closer. You pull away abruptly to leave hot, open mouthed kisses down his jaw and neck until he’s groaning lowly and melting into the mattress. You nip his skin with the slightest nick of your teeth as you travel down to his collarbone. It has a profound effect on him, pulling shallow breaths and moans from his lips. Your lips travel over his heart and down his chestline. His breathing turns harsh, and moans grow louder. You opt then to lick down his abdomen, leaving him shivering.

You glance up at him. You figure your gaze must have been dark and full of lust because he looks completely wrecked and held immobile. His cheeks are flushed, lips stained red, pupils dilated. You maintain eye contact as you kiss and lick and nip down the rest of his abdomen, urging his muscles to quiver and flex the lower you go. Once you get to his pantline, he’s already straining against his slacks. You press a final kiss to the spot below his navel, earning a jump of his muscle and a low groan from him, before undoing his belt and tugging the garment completely off his legs, along with his boxers. You don't wait to press kisses to his thighs. His hard cock is so easily within reach but you choose to litter kisses along his hips, thighs, and navel instead. You tease until he’s whimpering and pressing his hips up from the mattress and towards your mouth. When you kiss the juncture of his thigh and pelvis, he gasps, tangles his fingers in your hair and moans. “Please, Y/n.”

“Please what?”

His hazy eyes manage to focus on you. “Please stop teasing.”

You hum, moving to suck the juncture of his pelvis while your hand not-so-accidentally grazes his balls. “You mean like this?”

He gasps harshly, fingers tightening in your hair, head tilting against his pillow. “Y-Yes, yes like that.”

“But I don’t want to stop. Not until you’re completely gone, and begging and teary for me.” You see him swallow, eyes darkening a few shades. He barely has time to find a response before you’re back to kissing, sucking, and biting his thighs until he’s panting and whining once more. After a few more minutes, you can tell that his mental cohesion is slipping. His brows are knitted, bottom lip bitten and red, eyes helpless with the slightest hint of desperate tears.

“Please, please, please Y/n,” he babbles, gasping at your tongue on his hip bone. His hands are still in your hair and you allow them to stay there so long as he isn't forcing your head towards where he needs you the most.

“Just a little longer. You said you wanted to be my plaything, didn’t you?”

He shivers at that, eyes clenching shut. His cheeks are flush much more now. “I can’t take it anymore.”

You hum as you mouth along his pelvis. “Tell me what you want.”

“You mouth,” he moans brokenly.

“You already have my mouth,” you say, pointedly ignoring the straining, leaking cock within reach.

His eyes fly open when you mouth his balls, suckling the skin. He shivers hard, eyes rolling back. He pants harshly, fighting to remember words. He trembles under you, hands shaky in your hair. “On my cock, please, please.”

“As you wish.” When your lips close around his cock finally, his face twists into a pained grimace. You slowly stroke him with your lips, tongue swirling around his length, pulling harsher breaths and shivers from him. His eyelids flutter and are so deeply lidded they are almost closed. He seems to fight to keep them open if only to take in the sight of you between his legs. You take him up till his base, enveloping him entirely with his mouth until his cock hits the back of your throat. He arches and releases a deep groan. He twitches in your mouth, and you realize he’s already close. You take the liberty to speed up, your lips meeting the hilt each time, tongue swirling around his length. He gasps harshly for breath, back arching, hips trembling and bucking up to meet you before you hold them down with your hands. You suck him faster, making his moans grow higher in pitch until he’s suddenly seizing up, tight and still, his head pressing back into the pillows and back arched beautifully. His warmth fills your mouth and you groan, relishing it as you swallow. He’s shaking everywhere as collapses on the bed with another breathless moan.

You continue licking him clean while he pants to catch his breath. He’s still hard in your mouth, you realize, and you can’t help continue sucking him until he’s flinching and tugging you off of him by your hair. “Ah, too much.” You relent, thinking you’re tormented him enough for one night, and press a final kiss to his hip. He pulls you up to kiss him, hands reverently cupping your cheeks, mouth and tongue moving leisurely against you. When he pulls away, he has stars in his eyes. “You’re amazing.”

You laugh. “It was that good, huh?”

He presses another kiss. “I think I almost blacked out.”

You laugh. He guides your leg over his hip to straddle him comfortably. You kiss his palm. “Y/n,” his eyes shine, cheeks still flushed. “Tell me I’m perfect.” You blink at him and he explains. “The first day you came to us, when we talked in my office, I told you I looked like a toad and you said I was perfect.” He flushes “I couldn't tell you at the time how it made me feel, but now I can.” He kisses your hand. “Tell me I’m perfect. Tell me everything.”

Your heart melts at his pleading, vulnerable eyes. You hope he knows you’ll give him everything he asks for. You give him a soft kiss. “You’re perfect,” you say, watching his eyes glow with your praise. You litter kisses across his cheeks and forehead. “You’ve always been perfect. You’re sweet and strong and kind and you’re mine. Absolutely perfect.”

He shivers and groans, hands pulling you roughly against his lips to kiss you. You melt into him, hands running through his hair, breathing in the lingering scent of his cologne. You slip off your underdress and the rest of your garments, watching his eyes darken. When you straddle him again, you’re already so wet from having him in your mouth from before. You slide him in easily up til the hilt, pleasure bursting across your eyelids while he grips your hips like a vice, lips parted and head tilted back against the pillows. This time, it’s slow and passionate, just like your first. You bend low to kiss him and barely allow a few inches of distance the entire time you ride him. You relish his groans, his fluttering eyes. Praises fall from your lips in abundance, without pause or restraint, and you watch the flush of his cheeks grow darker after each one until he's vulnerable and moaning and tucking his head into your neck, coming inside you a second time with a broken whimper. It hurls you towards your own edge, gripping and contracting around his length as you hold onto him for dear life.

When the moments passed, the vice grips on each other loosen, and both of you catch your breath. He doesn’t let you roll off him onto the mattress. Instead he holds you close, pressing one hand to your stomach, which still looks barely different than before, but his eyes shine as if the baby is already here.

...

The rest of the pregnancy is blissful. It consists of buying baby items, picking out names, cleaning out Taeyong’s guest room and setting it up for the baby, though both of you know it will probably end up sleeping in your room with the guest room used for nothing other than storage. As the date approaches, Taeyong gets increasingly more anxious. You try to calm him and redirect his focus to baby proofing the entire penthouse, which works well. He’s adorable, nervous and tittering, worried if he’ll be a good enough father. You remind him again and again that he will be.

When the day finally comes and contractions erupt and you’re whisked away to the hospital, Taeyong is a mess. Jungwoo even visits to calm him down, which works. By the end of a long day, a baby girl is born. He’s absolutely enamored, and has her in his arms all night, rocking her gently, cooing and speaking soft words that have her falling quiet to listen. Sometimes, he remembers to tear his eyes away to give you a teary, beaming smile. It’s enough to make you the happiest person alive. Upon coming home, it takes many sleepless nights for you two to get the hang of it - the feeding, the crying, the burping. Within a few weeks, though, it’s a natural order, a timetable, a cycle. Tonight is one of those rare ones when you’ve miraculously gotten the baby to sleep a few hours longer. Taeyong and you relish the few moments of quiet and try to get some sleep.

“You’re a good mother, you know,” he mumbles sleepily in bed, arm thrown around your waist. “I’m glad she looks like you.”

His words envelop you in warmth. “I think she looks more like you, actually. Don’t you see her giant brown eyes that take up half her face?”

He chuckles and makes your heart flutter even after all this time. “My eyes are not that big.”

You cup his cheek. “They are and they’re wonderful and I’m glad she has them.”

He cheeks warm under your palm. He pulls you close and kisses you. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A high pitched, piercing cry rings out, startling you both before you’re groaning. “She gets that voice from you, though,” he says.

“She does not!” You complain. He gives you a pointed look at your near screech of protest. “Fine, maybe a little.”

He chuckles, stopping you from slipping out of bed. “I’ll get her, don’t worry. Get some sleep.” You sigh in thanks.He presses a kiss to your forehead before he’s slipping out the door. The piercing crying suddenly quiets down once his coos interrupt the noise and soon, the house is silent with no sound other than a baby’s whimpers and your husband’s soft words.

In that moment you’re grateful for all the choices you’ve been able to make.

#taeyong #nct #nct smut #taeyong smut #nct scenarios #taeyong scenarios #nct taeyong #nct fics #taeyong fics #nct imagines #taeyong imagines #jungwoo #nct mafia au #nct mafia fic

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doiesfav · 7 months

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nct dream texts･.｡.:*☆

“ass or boobs”

Requested: ❌

Content: suggestive, drug mention, as the title says ig it justs have mention of sex😭

a/n: heyy, sorry if i dont upload as much more fics but i rather find texts easier and more manageable since i need to deal with college too but thanks for supporting and would appreciate any notes!!

MDNI‼️

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thanks for reading and supporting me!! Remember you guys could send me requests for any members or subnunit

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whereisten · 7 months

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Promises

Part 1 | Part 2 | more coming soon

“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”

Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (cafe owner)

Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst

Warnings: gun and violence mention, blood mention, stalking, unprotected sex, slight choking kink, slight impregnation kink, oral sex (female receiving), rough sex, overstimulation

Word Count: 6.5k

((A/N: this is a short fic series inspired by the song “Promises” by Calvin Harris & Sam Smith. It's been some time! Y/N is now a bakery shop owner! I hope you enjoy this short series, I believe there will be four parts. If you're a jujutsu kaisen fan, the Geto version will be added to our ao3 :)))

----------------

[2 Months Later]

It’s 10:30 PM, the chairs are up and you’ve just about finished mopping the floor. Jaehyun sighs and leans back into the driver’s seat of his car. He’d been watching you every night since he left. He couldn’t stand to not be near you, or to not make sure you were out of harm's way once you left work and walked home at late hours.

If he hadn’t messed up that night, if he hadn’t been vulnerable with you and given into his heart's desires life a selfish, touch-starved man, he would still have a friend. He could keep you company when you closed the bakery, and talk to you about everything. Just like the days before that night.

You lock the front door with your keys, and start your journey home.

You sigh, dragging your hand bag over your shoulders and buttoning your coat. “Well, at least there’s no rain tonight.” Your eyes and legs are tired, and all you want to do is climb into bed and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate, maybe you’ll watch a movie. You put your headphones in and fix your hands into the coat pockets

You’re about halfway into your 25 minute walk when Jaehyun notices two men following you. As usual, he drives slowly, and without his headlights on the dark road so you don’t suspect being followed. The two men walked out of an alleyway as if they were waiting for you to pass them. Jaehyun’s brows furrow. He knew you couldn’t hear their steps because you were listening to music, but how couldn’t you feel their presence?

“Shit.” He grumbles, knowing that he will have to make himself known if he is about to stop these men.

2 minutes later and they still huddle together while walking behind you, however, you bop your head to a new song just released by your favorite k-pop group.

“Oooo I’ll have to add this one.” You say to yourself, adding the song to your Bakery’s playlist on Spotify. By the time you look back up, you see a car swerve right in front of you.

“Holy-“

“Get in!” Jaehyun unlocks the door of his coupe, which is now perpendicular to the sidewalk, blocking you in with no choice but to get in.

Your look of shock turns into one of disdain. You take your headphones out. “You’ve got some nerve.”

You walk in front of the car and flash both middle fingers before continuing home.

Jaehyun curses under his breath, swerving the car back into the street to drive beside you.

“Listen, let’s talk about it, okay? You just need to get in right now, I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t even know who you are.” You roll your eyes.

“Y/n! Stop fucking around! Get in!”

“Hey hey hey…no need to get aggressive, man…she said she’s not interested.” A strange voice says from behind you.

Before you can turn around to see his face, he drapes a heavy arm over your shoulders to stop you from walking any longer.

“Leave her alone…she told you to get lost.” Another man speaks, your eyes widen.

“You alright, sweetheart?” They turn to you, your heart begins to race as you get an immense feeling of dread.

Jaehyun quickly puts the car in park and jumps out. He walks towards them as they pull you back. “Get off of her.”

You reach out for him with pleading eyes. “J-“ you start, but you feel something circular pressing into the small of your back.

“Oh no, we’re saving her from you, she’ll be perfectly fine once you’re gone.” The man chuckles.

“Tell him to get lost or we’ll put a hole in you.” The other whispers into your ear.

You gasp and look back up at Jaehyun.

“Fuck off dude, you’re a creep. Isn’t he, sweetheart?” He presses it in more.

“I-I’m fine, just go away!” You look at Jaehyun in hopes that he will listen, one wrong move and it could be either of you with a new bloody hole to model.

Jaehyun lowers his hand and nods. “Okay.” He walks away and jumps back into the car. You feel a sense of relief, but it's short-lived as you are now subject to whatever these men want to do with you. You feel disappointment and despair. Did Jaehyun really give up on you that easily? Could he really abandon you in this moment when you needed him the most?

The men drag you back into a dark alleyway.

“Please! Leave me alone! Don’t kill me!” You beg for your life in hopes that they will just leave you alone, that they’ll have a sudden change of mind. But deep down you know they’ve been planning, they’ve finally caught a victim and don’t plan on stopping now.

They only laugh and tie your hands together behind you while you sob and plead.

“Quiet down, sweetie, you’ll live but only if you shut the hell up.”

One of the men says before throwing you into the brick wall. You grunt as you feel your back collide with the rough surface.

The man is about to say something else when you hear a sharp, high-pitched noise echo into the night. You shut your eyes, flinching when you feel blood splatter across your face.

When you open them you see the body of one of the men laid out right in front of you, a small hole in his forehead gushing out blood as his blank eyes stare at you. You scream, and the other man grabs your coat, yanking you in front of him before pressing a gun to your temple.

“Who the fuck is there?! I’ll shoot her right now!” He looks around anxiously.

The alleyway is completely dark, you can’t see anyone, but the man backs away thinking that the shot came from the right side.

He stumbles over his friend's body, releasing his tight grip on you in the process. You take it as your chance to run away. He tries to run after you, “Hey you bitch!, get back-“

Before he can finish, another shot goes off. The man lets out a blood curdling scream and drops to the ground. You quickly turn around, panting as you see his shadow finally come to light.

Jaehyun.

Your dark-haired savior walks slowly towards the crying man with a sniper gun in his hand. He lugs it around like it's nothing, but based on the length, noise, and precise shots, you know it’s heavy. You swallow hard as you watch his menacingly large figure create an engulfing shadow over the man.

As he walks under a street light that the man has dragged himself to, you see a completely unfamiliar look on Jaehyun’s face. He’s angry, no.. he’s outraged, and the dark glare in his eyes makes your heart race. Is it because he’s hot, or is it because he’s terrifying? You’re not sure.

Nonetheless, he doesn’t give the man a chance to beg. He cocks his gun and shoots his other kneecap. The man places both hands over it and cries out while laying on his back.

“No!! Please don’t! I’m sorry, we weren’t gonna hurt her!” The man cries out when he sees the grim face of Jaehyun looking down on him as he crawls away.

Jaehyun cocks his sniper gun again.

You finally snap out of your daze and run towards him. “No stop! Don't do this!” You yell out.

Jaehyun doesn’t respond to neither you nor him, he only aims for the crying man’s crotch area. He shoots him again and cocks his gun. The man struggles to back away from him as he aims it at his head.

Jaehyun is so furious, not a word escapes him, he only feels rage and sees red.

But just as he’s about to pull the trigger again, you jump onto the ground in between the gun and the man.

“Jaehyun! Stop! Please, he’s learned his lesson.” You pant, your arms till aching as they are tied behind your back.

“Move.” Jaehyun’s tone is dark, you don’t even recognize him.

You swallow hard, hoping you can get through to him. “Jaehyun..it’s not worth it, the police are gonna be here any second now, just leave.”

“I said move. I’m gonna blow his head off.”

“No! I won’t allow you to! This ends now.”

Jaehyun’s voice raises. “They put their hands on you! They were going to hurt you! They deserve nothing but pain!”

“Yes! I agree, but you’ve done enough! Get out of here!”

Suddenly, police sirens start to get louder, it's as if someone called them after hearing the shots.

“Jaehyun..help me, please.” You look up with wide eyes, and finally, Jaehyun snaps out of it.

He finally puts his gun by his side and leans down to help you up.

He looks back at the man and kicks his head hard, leaving him crotchless and bleeding out on the dirty ground alone.

The two of you run back to Jaehyun’s car.

He helps you into the passenger seat before jumping in and speeding away.

“Jaehyun, what the hell! You–you just killed someone.” You cry as he drives maniacally to your place.

“Are you okay?” He ignores your panic.

“Okay? Okay?! No I’m not fucking okay, Jaehyun, I just witnessed a murder! There’s- there’s blood all over me!”

Once at a stop light, he takes his pocket knife out and cuts your zip ties.

“Are you hurt?” He asks as he examines your soft face and body.

You sigh and look into his worried eyes. Damn it, why did he have to look at you like you’re his world? “I’m..listen I’m fine, but what you did was not okay, you just killed-“

“It’s what I do y/n.” He says lowly, calmly, but with a scary tone. The light turns green and he continues driving. The street lights illuminate his sharp features and you feel your heart drop. The man you had a deep longing for lived to kill, and killed to live, that’s the reality of it. He had no regrets whatsoever after taking a human life.

This was normal for him.

His fist tightens around the steering wheel. Your eyes catch a glimpse of the thick veins in his arms. “If something happened to you..I couldn’t live with myself..I’m sorry you had to see that, but it was necessary.”

He looks at you then quickly looks away, hiding how his eyes started to fill with water. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You’re just trying to get home after a long day of work. What if he wasn’t there to save you? What if he lost you? And he realizes once again why you two could never date. You’re nowhere near ready to see him for who he truly is.

You take a deep breath and relax into your seat, resting your elbow on the door. Your fingers shakily press against your temple as you look out of the window . “Jaehyun..you can’t protect me from the world..you can’t just hover around and follow me everywhere.”

“Why the hell not?” His nose scrunches.

You flick your head towards him. “Because you’re not my boyfriend! You yourself said you regretted ever meeting me, you never wanted to see me again, and yet, here you are swooping in like fucking Batman!”

Jaehyun clenches his jaw and abruptly parks his car outside of your apartment building.

“I mean nothing to you..you should start acting like I don’t.” You look down at the floor and say sternly.

He sighs. “Y/n..I—didn’t..” he stumbles over his words as you sit there in silence.

You look back up at him, and he wants to hug you, he wants to hold you and get lost in your beautiful eyes. He takes a moment to breathe in your scent, still fresh and pretty after a long day at work.

“What?” You watch him as he stares.

He sighs and looks out of the window. “You can get out now.”

You purse your lips and nod, tears threatening to escape. “...the next time I see you outside of my job, I’m going to call the police.” All this time, you knew he was watching.

Jaehyun turns back to you with a puzzled expression. Night after night, you’d seen his black sports car parked a few feet away from the bakery. You knew he was there, and you never approached him about it.

You look into his eyes before opening the door and stepping out. Jaehyun doesn’t protest as you slam the door and head inside.

Once he sees your apartment light turn on, he drives away, angry at himself once again. What if someone saw him with you? What if they knew he had a weakness and knew where that said weakness lived?

He lays in his bed after taking a hot shower and falls asleep quickly.

“Jaehyun..”

“Hnnn..” His eyes struggle to open.

“Jaehyun..baby.”

“Yes…hmmm.”

“Need you..”

Jaehyun hears your soft voice and feels your warmth. He opens his heavy eyes to see that he’s back in his car. This time he’s in the backseat with you beside him.

“Y/n..” He rubs his thumb over your cheek to check if you’re really there. You lean in and look into his eyes before kissing him deeply while closing your eyes.

Jaehyun turns his head and groans into your mouth as his tongue traces over your smooth lips. Cherry. The same cherry balm he tasted when kissed your lips the first time.

The hunger in his chest grows, he grabs you by the waist and brings onto his lap, your arms still tied behind you as you moan. He handles you like it’s nothing, pushing your skirt up your hips and to your waist before pulling you down harder onto him.

He releases your lips finally, a string of spit dropping down your chin as you whimper. He pulls his pocket knife out and quickly cuts the fabric of your underwear, a move that has your skin riddled with goosebumps in no time.

He looks at the knife, thinking about how he should also cut your zip ties, but also thinking of how he doesn’t really want to. Something about you being bound, restricted, and doomed to ride him until you swelled with his offspring made everything hotter to him.

He looks up at you while brushing his fingers over your opening. It's silky with your essence, already building just from your kiss. You throw your head back and start to grind onto them as he teases you. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, gazing up at your angelic face. He swears he’s already in heaven.

His fingers finally enter you, a high-pitched moan escaping you once you feel them stretching you out.

“I-I’m ready!” You move faster, finding it hard to hold back as you’re so wound up already.

He pulls his fingers out and wraps his arm around you to guide you down onto him. “Good girl…almost there.” He whispers while watching you take him in.

The sight is so satisfying, he doesn’t know if he’ll last all night. You gasp once his tip kisses your sweet spot, but you continue to move up and down like you did with his fingers.

You move easily, your essence and his pre cum being all the lubricant you need to fit him inside repeatedly. He groans, rubbing his large hands along your thighs.

“So—good, I can’t” You struggle to move steadily with your arms tied behind you, you’re close, but getting weaker. You close your eyes as tears escape.

He tilts your chin, forcing you to open your eyes and look down at him. “Don’t slow down, baby, you want me to fill you up right? Well, keep going.” He chokes you slightly as you whimper.

“Yes..please cum with me..”

He could see your breasts bouncing under your button down dress shirt from work, he could see them pop open one by one as you bounced faster. And your pussy, so warm, so tight around him. He can feel his tip twitch as you clench around him, threatening to coat your walls at any moment now.

“Oh my.. GodI!” Your head falls back. Sweat runs down into the crevice of your breasts. He grabs your waist with both hands, taking over to slam you down onto him at a faster pace. He thrusts into you aggressively, chasing after a high that he knows he’ll remember well after tonight.

If you thought you could drop him after this, you’d be so wrong. He’d never been happier, never been hungrier, never been more anxious to fuck someone into oblivion like this. He could keep going if you let him. He’d have to recover quickly just so he can do it all over again in minutes, it would be difficult, but it’s not impossible.. He had to do it for you.

“Cum for me, baby, I know you want to....yes good girl, so tight for me.” He pants, his voice is gravelly.

“Jaehyun!” You cried out one final time before his eyes flew open.

No.

Jaehyun looks up at his ceiling and feels his bed under him. It’s wet with his sweat.

His chest is heaving and his dick is painfully hard, sticking straight into the sheet above him. “Shit. It felt so real.”

He closes his eyes and rounds his fist around his dick to relieve himself, still imagining you clenching around him so beautifully while in his car.

He groans and wipes his forehead once he’s done. “This is gonna be hard.” He knows he should respect your wishes to not see him again, but deep down he knows he will have to. He knows he’s in too deep, and letting go is impossible at this point.

[One Month Later]

Jaehyun tries to let you go, he doesn’t watch you anymore..well, not every night at least.

He told himself he was getting better, and if “getting better” included installing a tracking device on your cell phone to follow you instead of watching you outside work, then yes, yes he was “getting better.”

A guy in his gang that acted as a hacker sent a virus to your phone through a text message pretending to be a K-pop album sale link. And just as he expected, you got too excited and clicked it without thinking. By the time you realized it was a scam, it was too late. He was in. You shrugged your shoulders and went about your day like nothing happened.

He didn’t track you every day but just knowing that he could when he wanted to was enough for him.

He had just welcomed a shipment with his guys, when he decided to take a break and check on you. His brows furrow when he notices you’ve stopped by a particular place between home and work once again. What could this place be? A new friend? Or.. a new man? No, you wouldn’t do that to him..or would you?

He jumps into his car and tells his guys to finish everything up before speeding away.

When he gets to his apartment, he looks the address up and finds that it’s an apartment building that belongs to a wealthy banker.

He bites his lip as he contemplates what on Earth you could want with a banker.

He relaxes into his computer chair and shrugs it off. He shouldn’t be intruding like this, it isn’t right. He’ll let you handle whatever it is you’re doing. It must be important and necessary. So he doesn’t let it bother him…that is until one day when you have a date with the man.

He watched you go out with the banker that aged you by at least 15 years. You wore a gorgeous red silk dress and did your hair up. Your skin looked immaculate and your smile shone brightly in the dim lighting of the restaurant. He watched from outside, holding himself back from marching in there and crashing the date. If Mr. Bank thought he was gonna get lucky tonight, he was very wrong.

You smile and laugh with him so much, Jaehyun can’t take it any more. He drives away.

A few hours later, you enter your apartment and kick your heels off. You shimmy your coat off before walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water.

“Where were you?” A deep voice asks from the shadows of your kitchen.

You jump up and walk backwards. “WHO-“

Jaehyun steps out with arms crossed and knitted brows. His hair is styled back to reveal his forehead, and grey shadow rests under both eyes like he hasn’t slept in days.

He still looks handsome though, his black T-shirt clinging onto his toned biceps.

“Jesus Christ!! Jaehyun WHAT THE HELL?” You quickly turn the light switch on then turn to your handbag, fumbling around for your pepper spray.

“It’s 3 fucking A.M. and you’re just now getting home.” He tilts his head, confused as to why you act like he’s intruding.

Your mouth falls open, the audacity of this man.

“Are you crazy? That’s it, I’m calling the police.” You reach for your cell phone in your bag, but as you search for it, Jaehyun walks up to you and grabs your wrist.

He quickly places your hand behind your back and backs you into the wall.

Your eyes widen as he towers over you.

“Answer the question first.” He grumbles, looking down on you like you’re some kind of criminal that’s been caught stealing.

You shake your head and gasp. “I don’t have to answer to you! I’m a grown woman!”

Jaehyun smirks as his eyes trace downward, floating from your lips to your neck and finally to your pronounced cleavage.

“This is a really nice dress, y/n, did he like it?” His eyes are filled with fire and jealousy. He looks almost disgusted as he thinks about you giving your body to someone else.

Your eyebrows raise. “You’re still following me? You’re insane!” You struggle to pull your hand away, but you pound against his chest with your other hand. He quickly grabs it by the wrist and places it above your head, like it’s nothing. His neck cranes down to get closer to your face.

“Let me go!” you yell.

He shakes his head. “Not until you answer me.”

“Somebody help me!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “Even if someone comes, do you really think they can help you? Do you want to watch another person die, y/n?”

You swallow hard, and even though he is frightening at this moment, you feel hot and lustful with the amount of power he has over you.

“What’s your problem? First, you say you regret meeting me, and now, you’re following me every day! I can't keep doing this! So what if I moved on? Yeah I fucked another man, now what? You gonna kill me?”

Jaehyun flips you around so he’s pressed against your back and you’re pressed in with both hands held by him.

You grunt as your cheek hits the wall.

Jaehyun leans into your ear and whispers. “Mr. Bank loves that cheap cologne on his dresser. I see him use it every day. But it’s funny because I don’t smell it on you. And that’s how I know you’re lying.”

Chills run up your spine.

“W-we took a shower together, did you forget that I like doing it that way?” You smirk. Jaehyun’s grip tightens as he becomes even more infuriated.

You were lying, but you liked to see him get riled up, maybe just maybe, he’d leave you alone so you could forget about him, so you didn’t have to touch yourself to the thought of him, so you didn’t have to look at the empty chair in your bakery in hopes of seeing him there one night.

“You’re intent on pushing my buttons..even with you pressed up against the wall..even with your hands behind your back. Aren’t you afraid of how bad it’ll get for you?”

You chuckle. “Are you threatening me because I just had the best sex of my life?”

Jaehyun picks you up off of the wall and lays you down onto the counter face first with a hard push.

“The best huh?” He flips the bottom of your dress up to expose your ass in your thong. He then taps two fingers against your clothed folds, you jump slightly at the unexpected contact. “And yet..your panties are still intact and you’re walking just fine.”

He continues to rub his fingers against you, pressing them in just barely. You whimper quietly. “Your skin is cold. Your thighs are dry and you’re reacting to my simple touch. You smell like you did the first time like grapefruit and berries..seems to me you’re just as untouched as the Virgin Mary.”

Jaehyun whispers so deeply, you can’t help but grow wet. Damn it, he really knew you like the back of his hand.

“And if it was the best, why were you able to go back to your place? Why didn’t you just sleep there in hopes for round two?” He still drags his fingers in and out, teasing his digits along your opening by pushing them in slowly.

“Unlike you, he begged me to stay tonight but I told him “no, I have to be at work in the morning.” You let out, you try to have a sturdy voice as you slowly unreel from his long fingers.

“Please, y/n, the more you lie, the longer this will take. You’re not the whore you claim to be..” he whispers against the back of your neck, giving you chills once more, but you shake them off and speak strongly.

“You don’t know me! I did unimaginable things with him tonight!” You wiggle to try to escape him, but the strong 6-foot something man doesn’t budge.

“Oh is that so? Show me.” He leans back and presses your wrists down with one hand while unbuckling his belt with the other. He then ties your hands behind your back with it and steps back. He sits at your dining table and waits for you to walk over.

“I’d need my hands, Jaehyun.” You roll your eyes.

“Come on y/n, see how much you can do without them..” he taps his thigh.

You sigh and walk over to him. Why did he have this control over you? What if he just ends up leaving again?

“I shouldn’t do anything for you, you’re cruel.”

Jaehyun’s low eyes trace over your body in the red silk dress as you walk over to him. “But are you doing anything for me, per se? No baby, you’re gonna use me to satisfy yourself after a disappointing date.”

His hands can’t help but find your waist. He forces you down onto his thigh but doesn’t do anything other than look into your wide eyes.

You look onto his neck and broad shoulders, you smell his simple and fresh cologne. You wish you could run your hands through his full head of hair and intertwine your fingers on it as you go dizzy.

He lets your waist go. “Or...you can just sit here and tell me you hate me. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, you know that.”

Your mouth falls open as you look at his lips.

“Go on..I’m listening.” He leans back and tilts his head slightly, looking down onto you with those low bedroom eyes. His gaze makes you tremble.

You’re so turned on from his touch, you continue moving against his thigh. He’d gotten you this far, why not finish it?

“I hate you because you won’t leave me alone. You send mixed signals. One day you want me, the next day you say it’s unrealistic to be with me. Make up your damn mind.” The friction of his thigh against your opening makes you light headed, but you push on.

“Before we do this again..I need to know what the hell you want from me, do you want me in your life or not?!”

“Y/n..of course I want you in my life...it’s just not safe for you..”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’ll be fine.”

He shakes his head. “I answered your question, you should answer mine..why are you home so late? What business do you have with that man?” He clenches his thigh and the sudden action makes you moan and shut your eyes tightly, you move faster.

“Jaehyun...it’s none of your business.”

He knew you were trying to get close to the bank manager so you could get another loan for your business, you needed to make improvements in the kitchen, decorations, flooring etc. and the money you made wasn’t cutting it. You figured that if you could find the right man to seduce, maybe you could get what you needed quickly.

Jaehyun knew this because he had seen the Google searches on your phone that went from “how to get a loan.” to “how to best seduce a man.” Hence, the red silk dress you wore, the glam hair, the intoxicating perfume that was quickly seducing even him as well, the high heels you wore to bring out your curves, and of course, the bra that made your cleavage noticeable to even the stars above.

“..let me protect you..and I’ll give you everything you need.” He kisses your neck and whispers into your ear while bringing one of your straps down your arm. He starts to kiss your shoulder.

You move faster on his thigh, swiveling your hips as his grip becomes tighter. “..that’s easier said than done..I want...I need to be completely yours, I don’t need a bodyguard.” You whimper and moan as he sucks your neck. Sweat builds onto your forehead.

“I don’t need your protection, I need your love.” You say breathily before finally releasing on his thigh. You rest your head on his shoulder, trembling while feeling your legs weaken.

He looks into your wet eyes and caresses your cheek while zipping down your dress with his other hand.

He then yanks your dress down to reveal your hard nubs. His hands cup your breasts, massaging them before tracing his thumbs over the peaks. “So beautiful, and only for me.”

He sucks them one by one, caressing them with one hand as the other grips your thigh, hard, so hard you know you’ll be sore for days. You groan in pain from his fingertips pressing in deep, and if your hands weren’t tied behind your back, you would’ve pushed him away.

He doesn’t let up, guiding your body forward and backward so you continue to leak all over his sweatpants. “Jaehyun!” You cry out in sensitivity, you cum again easily but he doesn’t stop. He won’t let you go, he continues to flick his tongue against your breasts. Your back arches, your clit is stimulated once more by his thigh, but it isn’t enough.

He lifts you up easily and lays you down onto the table. He wants to make use of his time with you while you are bound, so he slowly drags your thong down your legs before throwing it to the side.

“Stay still..” he commands as your legs wiggle in an effort to get away from him. You whimper as he presses his fingers and thumbs into your thighs to spread you further apart.

He licks and sucks your clit as his fingers dive in deep. Your entrance, already sopping but welcoming him nonetheless. Your back arches again. “Jaehyun!” You cry out as you watch him devour you. His dark eyes lock with yours as he groans.

The tip of his tongue traces over your sweet spot as you throw your head back. You cum again, struggling to break out of his belt and grab his hair. He doesn’t stop, licking up everything that escapes as tears escape your eyes.

“Please.. I can’t- slower.” You plead, but he doesn’t care. He wraps his arms around your legs to keep them open and fixed around his head.

“Mmmm you taste so good, baby, and you’re all mine.” He chuckles then flattens his tongue against you.

He wants to make up for all the time he’d lost with you, he wants to consume you forever, to taste what he’s been craving all his life. He eats you out until you’re begging him to stop. Your wrists are tired of fighting against his belt, you try to kick his shoulders away again, but he simply smirks and grips your ankles tightly.

“Don’t disobey me like that again, sweetheart.” His eyes dark and threatening as he looks up through his lashes.

You can’t stop moaning as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your back arches, threatening to snap completely.

He finally finishes when he’s had enough. He stands up from the chair, flipping your body over and lifting one of your legs over the table. He pushes the waistband of his pants down, releasing his hard member and grabs your waist. He runs his cock against your slit, parting it slightly with the head to gather your slick.

“Gonna be a good girl for me right? Gonna follow my orders and cum when I tell you to?” He asks lowly.

“Yes! Yes..Jaehyun..I need-“

He pulls you into him, your ass shakes as you moan. The angle created by one leg lifted drives you crazy as he pushes himself deeper and deeper. You can’t stop yourself from clenching.

“Fuck..so good..cum with me, don’t let anything escape..I wanna see you hold it in for me..”

He buries himself in deep with each stroke, allowing you to feel every judge and vein as he runs his dick against your velvety walls. The table shakes with each thrust, he groans when he feels you clenching again. He moves faster, pressing his hand into the small of your back to keep you still.

“Yes, don’t..stop!” You release onto him and chant his name as he moves in and out slowly.

“That’s it..such a good girl for me..” he rubs your clit to coax another orgasm out of you despite you being sensitive.

You can feel his abs on your back, you can’t take anymore. You open your hands and try to push him away. He pushes in deep to make you squirm. “Give me one more, okay..you’re my slut tonight, gonna do whatever I say, right?”

“Jaehyun!” Your hands fail to apply any pressure.

He chuckles. “Are you disobeying me? Tsk tsk..you act like you can’t take it, yet you’re gripping me like it’s yours..”

He rubs his fingers in circles with more force and you can feel your essence dripping down your legs continuously now.

He thrusts faster and harder, the entire table moves as he pounds you like there’s no tomorrow. “Cum with me..cum with me right now..I’m gonna fill you up so you don’t forget who owns this pussy. so full..so warm, you’ll never give it to anyone else, that’s a fucking order, understand?..”

You can’t think clearly, you become dizzy.

Jaehyun grabs your waist tightly to slam your ass against his pelvis and reaches his other hand around your throat to choke you. “Y/n! Do you understand?!”

You struggle to breathe, but nod and cum again. ”y-yes! Yes, oh my god!”

A loud groan leaves him while his movement stutters. He collapses on top of you as he empties himself finally.

After a few minutes, he sits back into the chair, turns you around and brings your limp body onto his lap as you pant. He holds you close by wrapping you in his arms, tracing his fingers delicately against your spine.

“Jaehyun..just let me love you..please.” You rest your head onto his shoulder.

He does love you, everything about you makes him ache, you make him soft and remind him that he has a heart. He’d let his mind wander too many times, he let himself think of a world where the two of you could live together, have a few pets, get married, have kids..all sorts of “regular” things.

But love? Jaehyun is left speechless, he doesn’t know what to say, but he also doesn’t want to break your heart again. He was beyond worried for you. He unbuckles his belt from your wrists and helps you up.

He stands the both of you up then sits you back down. He looks down at you as you wait for his answer with pleading, wet eyes.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” He fixes his pants.

You stand up on wobbly legs, take his head into your hands and kiss him hard. “You don’t have to be sorry, just give us a chance.” You say once you break the kiss.

He kisses you back before pulling away “I can’t.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. “What exactly am I to you? Just a quick fuck and nothing else? Just tell me!” You turn away from him.

He feels his heart break again. “No! No..you’re much more than that..it’s-“

You turn back to him. “What? What the hell is it, Jaehyun?”

“I-I don’t know, I have to go.” He can’t look into your eyes anymore.

“No..don’t.” You grab his hand and tug him back. “Not again.”

“Y/n..I’m ....” he closes his eyes and shakes his head, keeping you from seeing the tears in his eyes. Why was he getting emotional?

The truth was Jaehyun had heard those exact words before.

“no..don’t”

It was the last thing his mom said to him. He was 16 and hell bent on doing his own thing. He ran away from home and decided to live a life of crime. He was stupid and broke her heart in the process, leaving her to die at home alone a few months later. At 12 years old, he had made a promise to protect and care for her when his father abandoned the two of them to take care of his other family.

Jaehyun needed to make more money and by the time he was 16, his friend offered an opportunity to make more money than he could ever imagine. It’s what he needed to do for himself and his mom, or at least that’s what he thought at the time. He didn’t know that all his mom wanted was for him to be safe and to grow up as a hardworking man she could be proud of. He disappointed her..and he feared he’d disappoint you too one day.

You sigh and let him go. “I don’t hate you Jaehyun, I just don’t understand you..”

He turns away from you to not show weakness once again. “I wish I understood myself, I wish I didn’t hurt you.” He leaves, slamming the door shut as you sink down into the chair.

702 notes · View notes

vad-hander · 5 months

Text

YOU KNOW WE'RE NOT COMPATIBLE, RIGHT?

pairing: Haechan x reader

others: Mark, Jaemin, Jeno as Haechan's friends.

warnings: reader is mean and degrading towards Haechan throughout the fic (but nothing serious), mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of stealing, Haechan gets injured (breaks his leg, no graphic descriptions), explicit description of sexual interactions between Haechan and reader, unrequited love, reader has issues with showing her feelings, scared of other people's opinion, slowburn, romance

words: 13,7k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

“Hey.”

“Hey.” your head lifted at the sound of your roommate.

“He's left already?” you felt your lips form a smile unconsciously.

“Yeah, I literally cannot look into my computer a minute longer.” you sighed dramatically, shutting down the laptop on your knees after you got notified all the work was finally saved and dropped against the back rest.

It was your 8th working session in the past two weeks with Haechan. You’ve never seen Lee Haechan so often, never had to sit right next to him in pure quietness for hours and try to have some sort of thinking process.

It was difficult any way you looked at it and you were glad he was finally gone. At least, for the evening.

Apparently, Jeno needed his help immediately and Haechan could never say no to a friend in need, which is a quote.

Talking of needs, you wondered what happened to this man’s needs since having him as a working partner seemed to somehow kill his hormones. Even when you very much intentionally set a couple of your meetings in his house the boy didn’t lay a single finger on you.

Figuratively speaking, because in fact the only thing he laid on you in those past 2 weeks were his palms. On your shoulder, or leg but it didn’t go past a teasing touch and you were confused beyond and above.

“I can imagine studying with Lee Haechan be tiring.” she cackled, placing her body on the armrest next to you. Her hand going under her head for support, making the girl take a half laying position on an armrest close to you, almost pressing her body to yours.

You probably reeked Haechan since the boy was practically attached to you at your hip for the past 5 hours, you were afraid she’d be able to pinpoint the scent of him, or more honestly you didn’t want her to ruin that scent with her fresh meadow scented deodorant.

“He’s actually doing a good job.” you smiled awkwardly, noticing the eyes of your friend. A cunning fox type of stare wasn’t a good thing coming from Eunsoo, you could not wonder immediately if she saw how handsy Haechan was before he left and was testing the waters before jumping onto you with questions? Did she hear him asking if you’re free tomorrow night? Or worse, did she see him rub his face against your neck, saying he needed a break to distract his thoughts for a later on better thinking process?

In all honesty, Haechan rubbed his face against you too many times during your sessions to go unnoticed by people around and the amount of times you were in fact ready to help him distract his brain and he never proceeded with the action made you tired, upset and even slightly annoyed.

“What, what is this smile?” you laughed it off awkwardly, very awkwardly, to be completely honest. You looked away to hide your eye twitch.

“Surprised you’re not ripping hair off your head after every working session with him.” she laughed, and… it felt lie she maybe testet the water...? Did she try to tap on the fact you didn’t really hate spending time next to him?

“I-, he-, it’s funny to say, he’s good with academic studies, apparently, and if he’s not just typing gibberish into the laptop I think we might even be one of the top students.” you chuckled. “Oh, by the way, we left some food in the fridge, if you’re hungry.”

“We?” she teased with a smirk.

“My God, Eunsoo.” your eyes rolled backwards.

“No, it’s a good thing, I guess.”

“What is a good thing?”

“We’re not hating on Haechan anymore, right?”

“I don’t think anybody actually really hated him in our friend group... except for Sua?" your thoughts trailed off before you got back "Why are you asking, anyway?”

“Ugh-agh.” she swallowed and fixed the hair on her head.

“You’ve got something you wanted to say, don't you?”

“Me? No? I was just testing the waters.“ your heart missed a beat because you were totally right. You cleared your throat in an attempt to unnoticeably calm your heart down.

“Testing the waters, huh?“ still, you couldn’t keep yourself from shuffling, having to stand up and actually move around the room to not seem suspicious to your friend that acted way too suspicious herself.

“Since you two are seem to be more friendly than before, not to jump far too ahead, but we all can be… friends… now?” she questioned, shaking her head a little as if the thought alone was still a little bewildering to her. It did seem bewildering to you too, every one of you being close to each other, being friends. “I thought I could ask you once again if you’d like to go on the boat trip that happens to be next weekend?“

“I don’t know.“ You shook your head with no answer.

Maybe you should come, for your friends, for Eunsoo, not mind Haechan, his presence and presence of all his friends. At the end of the day, you don’t even have to look at each other, but on the other hand avoiding him could give him the wrong idea, the idea that your feelings for him have changed?

“Ya, look.” Eunsoo clapped, as her voice went a little louder, making you come back to reality “’I don’t know is much more of a better answer than a straight up no. Haechan must’ve shaken your ground, huh?“ her brows went up and down playfully.

“Yeah, sure. He’s such a charming, lovely and smart guy I suddenly couldn’t imagine us part ways for the weekend, now that we’re all BFFs.“ Eunsoo laughed.

“Oh please don’t go in detail about your newly found passion in Haechan, I still have food to digest.“ She gagged jokingly. “Anyway, I’ma bout to shake your ground even more.“

“I’m all ears.“ You wiggled your brows playfully.

“The boat trip is free.“ you gasped, squinting your eyes in confusion.

“How come? How’d you make Jeno agree to that? What did you promise him?“ You jumped up to your friend, hand on your heart in concern.

“Nothing, I didn’t need to-“

“Jeno himself suggested I’m coming for free?“ you stared at her wide-eyed, trying to get a secret out of her that she obviously wasn’t keeping too well.

“Ugh, not really-“ Eunsoo tried to get an answer out of her mouth but her brain was definitely not cooperating and you didn’t want to stop asking questions at the kinda exciting news. You took a moment in your brain to question yourself. Why exactly did the thought excite you so much? Jeno was practically a stranger to you. “So did you ask him to? Soo-yah, I’m starting to think he might have a crush… on me…? Of all people?!“ you couldn’t hold back a giggle.

“I don’t-“ The girl paused calmly.

“He wants me to come no matter what? If he’s saying it’s free suddenly? I’m sure Sua and Aeri transferred him money last week.“

“Ugh… you sorta got it right.“ She sighed.

“Wh-“ you started confused “No, what?“ You spoke louder. “What did he say? What did he say?“ You pulled onto Eunsoo’s hand for more info, like an excited puppy.

“He just asked if you decided on coming… I said no, you’re not going to be there so he just said I can take you with me…” she paused and then suddenly continued “Said you have to be there no matter what so I’m here asking you if you’d come if it was free?“

“Should I?“ You chuckled.

“If you want to?“ She spoke awkwardly, you had to take a step back and recollect yourself.

“Hey, I… actually, I thought Jeno had a thing for you and you two were slowly drifting in that direction? What happened with that? Thats very out of the blue…? Him wanting to see me there. When we’re there I should tell him I’m not interested, you d-.“

“No, no!“ Eunsoo jumped up. “Don’t tell him anything.“

“Why?“

“I-ugh, he’s going to be pissed I told you, just don’t mention anything, it’s better you act the usual.“

“Are you sure?“

“Yeah, yeah, don’t go out of your way just to refuse him.“

“I-oh, okay. But are you okay with that?“

“Yeah, yeah. So you’re going then, right?“

“Guess I’m going, then.“ you chuckled.

“Fantastic.“ Eunsoo clapped her hands relieved, the conversation seemed too awkward for her, it could not not gut you. “I’ll go eat leftovers of your fancy lunch with your new best friend.“

From: Haechan

Great news, cupcake.

To: Haechan

What news?

From: Haechan

You’re coming to Jeno’s little party

To: Haechan

So it’s great news now

Didn’t you say that I’ll shit your party?

From: Haechan

Aw, baby, you’re keeping everything I say close to your heart, I’m honoured

Don’t worry tho, I changed my opinion and I’m going to make the best of your presence

To: Haechan

Awww poor baby, You must’ve gotten a little too comfortable and forgot we’re not friends

it’s fine though, I’ll say hi back to you once I see you on that boat

From: Haechan

I hope you’re not getting sea sick and stuff

I’ve never done you on water, won’t forgive you for ruining my chance

And then sure, lets not talk

To: Haechan

and, I’m sure you’re overestimating Jeno’s abilities, isn’t it going to be more of a catamaran type boat? lol

From: Haechan

why the caps lock you want to make sure I know you’re not getting sea sick?

To: Haechan

F u

Go finish the project on your own

From:Haechan

You’re not much of a help anyway

To: Haechan

And finish yourself off on your own too <3

Excuse me, I’m not much of a help?!?

Your life’s about to end

From: Haechan

If you’re considering staring at me while I actually work on our paper help, I’ve got bad news for you cupcake

You gasped scandalised and threw your phone away. Annoying Haechan and his annoyingly good eyesight, you thought, he deserves to be left on read.

From: Haechan

whoopsie, was I supposed to keep my mouth closed?

You never were supposed to text me in the first place, you mumbled under your breath, suddenly being too worked up by him. His senseless messages made your heart wake up and burn, not with love and passion, with embarrassment and that long forgotten, almost dead feeling of wishing to end his cocky smile and witty brain.

From: Haechan

come on, don’t act like you’re surprised

I thought you were this obvious on purpose

weren’t you?

You stared at the phone blankly, considering your options.

from: Haechan

hey

hey!!

you

to: Haechan

I’ll block you if you won’t stop

from: Haechan

why?

to: Haechan

hey

Hey

You

Hey

You

Fuck

You

like it?

from: Haechan

okay baby go back to what you were doing, bye

to: Haechan

thanks

You reached out for the bedside table in pure darkness, blindly finding your phone. When the gadget was finally in your hands you lit up the screen.

“Fuck”, you mumbled under your breath as the screen burned your eyes. 2 AM, the clock marking an hour and 30 minutes of tossing and turning in bed because everything turned out to be more than you were able to handle. All your thoughts and feelings suddenly were much more than what you could process and you were sincerely dreading the new day that would bring more concerns and more importantly more Haechan.

You needed more random things to flood your mind so they’d be able to overlap the Haechan ones you had because thinking of Haechan in the middle of the night was giving you a headache. Did he think of you too…? Sometimes, maybe, at least at all, ever? How did you end up getting here? You’d chuckle if someone else asked you that question.

Middle of the night, palms sweaty from overthinking too much, heart trembling a little because the boy you used to just have sex with smashed the lock on the door to your feelings with no mercy.

Was he intentionally invading your inner peace? Did he want to stir your feelings as part of his stupid ego stroking, did you imagine things, come up with all that in your head? You needed Lee Haechan to take responsibility for his actions, he overstepped the boundary way too many times, now he flirts with you as an addition to everything else. Baby? Seriously, baby, cupcake was much of a better nickname, at least you knew it was meaningless and not personal. It felt like he wasn’t bothered too much to remember what your actual name was and stuck to something that made your relationship feel like a transaction. Baby is definitely giving a feeling to you, a little too intimate for your liking, it’s like he was claiming he liked you, like he claimed you his something and you were in some sort of relationship.

What if his silly brain already spilled things to his group of friends about you and him? Your heartbeat fastened even more. Oh how you hated yourself for laying in that bed and still thinking of Haechan’s message when it’s been an ungodly amount of hours since he sent it.

Maybe, it’s just you going crazy since that day he took you out.

What if…? You had to toss onto the other side of the bed at the thought. What if he does all of this to play with you? Since the day you told him to not kiss you Haechan seemed to change his game, he just plays to try make you brake the rule of no kissing first. He’s that type of person to do things only to satisfy his own needs and satisfy his ego. Oh god, you had to sigh again.

Were you going through all stages of grief or something like that? Now you’re on the demonising the person of your concerns stage? Sigh, sigh, sigh.

You couldn’t sigh any louder or you'll literally wake up Eunsoo.

Maybe, at this point, you’d really let him do anything to fulfil whatever plan he had. You’d gladly accept defeat if only he’d let you smash your lips against his right this moment, it doesn’t even have to be literally right this moment. If you’d get reassurance you’d be able to do it in the morning you’ll do anything in your power to conquer your feelings and finally fall asleep to hold on till the new day.

“Just to clarify, I was staring at you because I couldn’t stop wondering, if you had brain in that head of yours all along, why did you act like you didn’t, not because of whatever you thought.” you slapped your palm against Haechan’s chest for no particular reason, it seemed to you it’ll give more effect, persuade him more you were telling the truth. A very puzzled expression on the boys face turned into even more confused one as your palm stayed on him for a few seconds.

“Okay?”

“Good.” you nodded, and took a step back.

“I didn’t ask. What are you even on about?” your eyes suddenly glued to his. He still was confused, that’s for sure. Well, who wouldn’t, in all honesty. You popped out of the blue on his way to the campus, first thing in the morning like a psychopath. You weren’t even sure you didn’t look like one.

“Ugh… huh?” your brain processed his question. “What do you mean what I’m on about?”

“When were you staring? I just got here.”

“Your message on Friday.”

“Oh, that.” he smirked immediately. “I was just shitting you, but it seems like I hit the spot right?”

“You- fuck you.”

“Come on, don’t act like you’re not enjoying me texting you.”

“I don’t. You’re always interrupting.”

“Yeah? What exactly did I interrupt on Friday?”

“I-, I was doing something. It’s none of your business.”

“Okay, I’ll stay out of it then.” the slight nod and completely lost interest in his eyes kind of pinched you.

You maybe wanted him to pick on you, push and tease so he’d get straight to whatever he was interrupting but he just didn’t. Did he lose all his interest in you? Or was this just a tiresome Monday morning and he wasn’t in for the game?

You weren’t that much of a talkative friend when it came to him. You weren’t about to giggle and ask him why he's so stiff this morning. You were about to start sweating that’s for sure, your palms were feeling too warm because you maybe wanted to tell him something but maybe talking to him suddenly felt like imposing. Were you about to go insane over Lee Haechan? Over him and the fact he didn’t have a thing to say to you. Since when?

“Okay.” you nodded too and wanted to walk straight past him, but it felt like you made it hard for yourself to breathe. “The presentation of the project is this Wednesday. I’m almost done with the slides but we need to go through the text, who’s saying what, who’s presenting which part and all that stuff.” you didn’t want to look at him anymore while talking. Why did you not want to look at him? You couldn’t understand yourself at all. Your wishful thinking brought you here in front of him early in the morning after almost a sleepless night. Somehow you thought he’d tease you and smile at you and set another date for seeing each other wether it’d be for sex or food or school. At this point you caught yourself not caring at all as long as it’s something to do with him. You could understand the change in your demeanour, but what was up with him? You really wanted to clap in front of his eyes and ask him what’s up.

The change in you obviously scared you. It made you sincerely concerned for your self. You probably needed to talk this out with someone but the more you went through with that first sentence you’d start the conversation with the more you felt self-conscious to bring it up even as a thought that might’ve popped up in your head once or twice.

The more you thought of it the more you brought up heaviness on your shoulders. Were you imagining or did Haechan change? His behaviour seemed colder than before? Did he change his demeanour because he felt you actually fall for his flirting and the pure intentions of his flirting were not to make you fall for him… it was to watch you be uncomfortable?

Were you actually beating around the bush and not admitting to yourself truthfully the four letter word you were feeling towards him. No, not the big four letter word, the smaller one, but very much dear to your heart, very fragile as it still felt like early stages of processing the feeling. And even though your body might’ve not been new to it, since your brain was only able to work it out recently, your body was sent signals to act like the feeling was very new to it too, and it obeyed perfectly.

You actually had to stop yourself, because you were starting to feel even more hot, getting the fact you might’ve looked insane by now, even. You took a quick glance at Haechan’s face, crossing with his stare only to go blank and look away quickly. Was he sensing the inner battle you had and was disgusted? Didn’t want to be part of it? If the two of you stood there a little longer you were sure you’d make yourself cry right there. Overthinking was definitely your specialty.

“We’re super short on time, if you don’t mind splitting the presentation on your own and sending to me my parts-.”

“Yes, I can very much do that.”

“Great, see you around, then.”

“Yes.” you gave him a nod, you’re sure tho it wasn’t seen. Great, now Haechan didn’t even want to prepare the presentation with you in person.

The clock on the wall was barely audible now that the classroom was practically packed with students. Still, the only thing your hearing was focused on were the seconds that turned into minutes. Your eyes were trained on the door and your fingers would stop fidgeting the pen every time someone walked past the entrance but would get back to work every time because every person that walked through the door wasn’t Lee Haechan. Where the hell was he? You closed your eyes for a 5 second breather.

Finally, the clock reached 10 AM, one minute later the professor walked into the auditorium and closed the door right behind him.

“Glad to see you all so cheerful. Bet each and every one of you is thrilled to present your work and get the passing grades?” the young man smiled and cleared his throat, making the whole room quiet.

Again, the quiet room brought the ticking sound upon you. Tic-tac-tic-tac.

to: Haechan

Where are you? We’re 5th to present. Professor's about to start the class.

Your eyes raised at the door once again as one of the students ran in apologising for being late.

“I think I’ll just go sit in the back and let the first group prepare for the presentation?” professors eyes moved over the classroom to see the first ones to stand up. “Oh, Ms. Moon and Ms. Ong, great.” he gave Sua and her partner a nod and non-verbally invited them to the front to set up their presentation.

to: Haechan

Why the hell are you not reading my message?

Your only excuse is you’re running your legs off to get here in time for our turn.

Please?

You had to add when the message was still unread. Did he die by any chance? Overslept because he was memorising his parts till very late at night? You dialled the number - pure silence was what you were met with besides the monotonous rings on the other side of the line.

You had to breathe because not only were you starting to feel overwhelmed by the end of the third groups presentation, you were realising you had almost no time left to run through the parts Haechan was meant to present and prepare yourself at least a little.

“Hey, pst!“ your head snapped in direction of the whisper. “Where’s that little freak?“ Sua leaned over the students in front of her to hear your answer properly, but you had no words for her, you shrugged and turned away to not start bawling your eyes out in panic.

“Mr. Lee and -“ professor announced running his eyes to scan the faces of present students. “I don’t think I see Mr. Lee in here.“ His eyes landed on you, as he called out your surname. “What happened to Mr. Lee? Is he running late? Will you be okay to present on your own?”

”I think- I guess he’s running here so he’s not responding. Could we please listen to the next presentation and return to us later? Please?” The man looked at you for a good minute, probably debating if he should give you time or force you to do it now by yourself. Your teary eyes must have swayed him towards the first option and he gave you a nod, reading off the paper the next project couple.

”Okay, you’re the last one to present tonight.”

”Thank you. Thank you so much.” you trained your eyes on the papers in front of you to memorise whatever Haechan was meant to talk about on those slides. You were agonising, if only you actually put in work to put everything together instead of letting Haechan take care of everything. It felt like you gave in to the devil and now had to pay the price for giving in. Your eyes ran through words but all your brain processed was either ‘fuck you Haechan’ and ‘you better show up before the end of that class’. Actually if he showed up after all the stress you went through right now, you’d choke him right at the entrance.

Currently you were in the state where you barely remembered your own part and what was the topic of the paper at all.

He didn't come. Not when it was 20 minutes before the end of the class, not even when you had 10 minutes left and got up in front of everyone to present.

This very moment you were in the cafeteria with your head hanging low while Aeris hand soothed your back and Sua sat right next to you blabbering non-stop.

"No, I literally knew being paired up with that annoying leech would end up terrible for you. Like I had a gut feeling he's going to find a way to fuck this all up."

"Haechan literally worked his butt off for that paper, I don't think he'd just fleet like that. Must be something serious." Eunsoo pointed and you almost did agree with her, it didn't seem like Haechan wanted to dodge this class on purpose but at the same time you could never know what actually happened in that little shits head and predict his thinking was like punching air - useless.

"Yes, serious, like he has to be literally dead now for it to be serious enough excuse to dodge a presentation class like that. Did he read your texts?" Aeri patted your back for attention. You pulled out your phone to still unread messages and shook your head a no. You were slowly calming down and wished he'd pop up before you as soon as possible so you'd still have fume in you to fight.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad. You literally got an A- and presented perfectly."

"I stuttered like an idiot every 2 words." you spoke for the first time in 15 minutes making everyone relieved.

"If it was actually as bad as it seems to you you would've never gotten an A-"

"I still don't understand why you told that freak took great part in that paper with you. You had a perfect chance to pay him back but instead he gets an A while probably sleeping in his bed comfortably or some shit." Sua shook her head dissaprovingly.

"Should've made him pay for real." Aeri agreed.

"I want to dodge the next class, honestly, I wasn't prepared for that much stress in one morning."

"I can cover for you." Eunsoo suggested.

"And I can dodge the class with you." Sua cackled and Aeri suggested the same.

"I, ugh, I think I'm just gonna go home and stare at the wall and meditate." you excused yourself from the girls company and stood up.

"If you want to you can have the piece of cake in the fridge."

"That's a real sacrifice, Eunsoo, God." you chuckled and pulled yourself together. "Okay, I guess, see ya tomorrow."

"Bye, bye!"

"Don't think about that loser too much!"

As soon as your feet walked up to the disagnated floor you didnt just walk, you stormed to the needed door. Even before your feet stopped at their place, your finger was already pressing into the doorbell.

Of course, you weren't about to go back home, stare at the wall and not think that the stupid boy that stirred your insides for the past couple of weeks suddenly faded like he was never there. He was very much there and he was very much invested in getting a good grade. You heard some shuffling behind the door and as it opened you stared at the boy that never stopped you wondering how can you hate someone even more than you hated them the day before.

"Jesus fucking christ." He exclaimed and pulled your hand off the door bell. "Why the hell you're ringing the bell like that. I'm no Sonic." he let go of your wrist to walk back in, expecting you to do the same.

"So you're not dead, after all." you snorted to yourself and walked in.

"Were there any signs?"

"Are you going to pretend like you didn't miss 100s of my calls and messages and didn't skip the very important class we had to present at?"

"Oh? That was scheduled for today?" he opened his mouth in shock, closing it with his palm afterwards. He was obviously sarcastic.

"You're a psycho." You crossed arms on your chest, not planning to walk in any further into his place.

"Why?"

"You skipped our presentation without a notice."

"Maybe I just really wanted you to realise how much you need me." Haechan pressed his shoulder against the wall and smiled at you with that sweet-sweet smile he could only muster when he wanted to be out of this world annoying.

"You're fucking vicious."

"Why?" he batted his eyelashes.

"I-." you swallowed. You really wanted to scream at him, get into a fight or maybe just be mean and rude and then leave but on your way here that bubbling rage inside of you cooled down a little and you just wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with him to act this way. "Why did I even think for a split second that I can rely on you or that we finally are understanding each other a little bit? You're just out of this world psychotic and I will never ever again agree on doing anything with you. Like even that thing we had going on - it's over. I don't want you lay a single finger on me after that stress you put me through." You wanted to say more but he was quiete and almost dead with the face expression so you decided on turning around and walking away. "oh, by the way, I got you an A so don't you worry bout your grades baby boy." you let him know before walking out and smashing the door after.

When you smashed that door you hoped whole heartedly he'd pull you back in by the wrist and explain himself like all those male leads in romcoms do. And you would fotgive him and he'd pull you into a hug and give you that very much wanted kiss you've been thinking of for the past few weeks. You were in fact ready to forgive him when you walked up to his place if only he put in effort to explain, you were to be honest already partially relieved when you saw him alive and well.

But he didn't make a single sound from behind that door and before you walked back down those stairs you decided you'd act out on your pathetic thoughts and slow down with those steps. What if he was putting on some clothes before chasing you down? Or tying his shoe laces before he could walk out. You waited a little bit longer, before it turned way beyond the limits of pathetic behaviour you set. You had to leave and actually get back home.

Act like you weren't affected by his behavior, change of his mood and the mixed signals that were coming from him. You had to act in front of Eunsoo like Haechan didn't affect you deeply and all your thoughts were centered around him.

You couldn't possibly stop yourself thinking if he took your words seriously or he'd figure you were angry and didn't actually mean you didn't want a single finger of his on you, because if he'd reach out first you knew you would not ignore him.

"You're actually lucky you dipped." Eunsoo walked into your room, arms pulling off the hoodie she wore outside. "Can I sit?" the girl asked pointing at your bed.

You nodded, scooping your books to one side of the bed. You decided that studying would be helpful for your brain to stop pacing from one thing to the other but you were proven wrong about an hour ago but still stared into those books like they were about to give in.

"Haechan didn't show up for the rest of the day. Were you successful in finding out what the hell happened with him?"

"No." you shrugged nonchalantly. "I couldn't care less for his reasons. It's for sure the very last time we're working on something together. I mean, worked."

"It's just weird, maybe I'm overthinking." Eunsoo sighed and rested her head on her palm.

"It is indeed weird." you were trying to understand the girl that was sitting on your bed. Was she just talking to you, did she want you to talk out all the shit you had on your mind about Haechan or she knew something and wanted to dig in further out of pure curiosity. "I'm maybe glad I didn't see him at my peak rage cause I'm sure he would've walked away injured." Eunsoo giggled with her mouth hidden behind her other palm.

"I hope you'll completely let go of this ridiculous situation by Friday and will enjoy the party like the queen of unbotherness that you are."

"What party?" you furrowed your eyebrows for a second before your heart dropped down to your feet. "That catamaran thing Jeno's arranging?" That Haechan is totally attending and totally is not going to reach out to you at as he promised before he would.

"He actually sent me the pics. It's a little better than a catamaran." Eunsoo commented after a chuckle, reaching out for her phone to show you the pics. "Jeno said there's a big outside area."

"Very suitable for the season." You smirked.

"Well, it's still pretty warm, I think a lot of padding will save us. And a big enough inside area for dancing, food and other fun things."

"Fun things like what?"

"Games, I don't know, quiz, whatever comes into his mind. Jeno actually isn't that good with stuff like that so I'm wondering a little what all of this going to look like." she showed you a picture of a massive looking tourist boat, yacht, ship? You couldn't really work out what was the right name for that. "Okay, it's not really a catamaran like. I'll take my words back." You smiled honestly impressed. "Wait, how many people are coming? This feels like an expensive thing to rent."

"Jeno's dad is a best friend to the owner of the company that owns those boats. He's paying almost nothing, so we're lucky for a friend like Jeno." she beamed.

"We-, sure." You couldn't hold back a laugh. You weren't sure you ever had even a simple conversation with Jeno before.

"What?" Eunsoo chewed on her cheek probably finally realising she was smiling all the time she was tlaking about Jeno. Not sus at all, you swallowed.

"You do realise I most likely know none of those people invited except for you and Sua and Aeri."

"You know Haechan."

"I'm definitely far from knowing him." you rolled both your eyes at her words. Even if you thought before you did, it's all gone now.

"Well, you two were off to a good start, before... today, you know." She scratched her brow, suddenly getting off your bed. "Ugh, I'm gonna heat up some rice and fry an egg. You want some?"

"Yes please, thank you." You smiled, watching Eunsoo fade behind the door.

Off to a good start, you thought to yourself and almost pulled the hair from your head.

You had a feeling you should not go. You could name a whole damn list of reasons you should just not attend the party stay at home and watch a movie, read a book, listen to a podcast - the list literally goes on, but there were 2 reasons that were strong enough to influence you to come:

1. You would not allow Haechan to think you skipped the party because you were mad at him;

2. It turned out you were pretty weak when it came to resisting Haechan, you couldn't allow yourself to be in bed for the evening, thinking and wondering if Haechan was there, what was he wearing, what did he smell like today and if he would see you would he let the two of you fall back to complete strangers or make a move?

That's why currently you were standing next to Eunsoo in an elevator that was taking you downstairs. A maxi dress with fitted silhouette in mesh with long sleeves, gathered waist, mock neck and all over pattern in dark dusty blue color hugged your body. You didn't really want to dress all out but the dress was giving warm and secured so you just put it on, getting approving nods from the girl next to you.

"I am not letting you come back home without securing Jeno, like I'm being completely serious right now. I don't understand why he's acting like he's blind. If he's not going to drool over you tonight I'm going to punch some sence into him." you giggled "I'm so tired of watching you two beating around the bush."

"We're not!" Eunsoo protested on her way out of the elevator.

"I'm sure he wanted me there so I'd be your wingman."

"Shut up, for real." Eunsoo rolled her eyes at you.

You quickly got into the taxi that awaited the two of you in front of the building. Soon enough you were on the little ladder that connected pier and the boat. A man helped everyone get safely inside of the boat, you guessed it was the captain. As soon as you entered, violet neon light cut your eyes a little as the blackness of the outside contrasted with lighting much. Jeno stood right at the entrance beaming a smile at everyone that entered.

"Welcome to the Jeno boat, we're about to take you on the best ride in your life." Jeno's eyes immediately glued to Eunsoo, not giving a single glance to you.

"I hope the best boat ride in my life will not end up the way your last party ended." You had to swallow to prevent yourself from laughing. Spotting a bar and Sua right next to it, you didn't even need to excuse yourself, you walked away unnoticed by the two, booing Sua as she reached for the drink placed in front of her by the bartender.

"Boo!" you exclaimed, placing your palm on the girls waist.

"Damn!" She exclaimed first annoyed as her drink almost spilled, turning around to probably swear at you, before she processed it was you, her friend. Sua's eyes ran all over your outfit, her tone completely changing. "Damn girl!" She giggled, placing the drink back at the bar table, reaching out for your palm to twirl you in front of her. You twirled like she wanted you to and made a cute pose as a killing point. "What a pretty dress and what a pretty girl. Want to hook up?" Sua shouted to be louder than the music playing with her brows as she leaned into you, with a voice that she probably considered flirtatious but was just giving away it wasn't her first drink of the night.

"What you're having?" you peeked at the drink behind the girl.

"A Pina colada. This one's actually one of the best ones on the menu. I've tried a few other cocktails."

"Off to a great start." You giggled, ordering the same drink.

"Oh." Sua made a sound staring at the entrance and you almost asked her what was up but you heard the loudest scream and giggles after and by all those noises it was impossible for you to not acknowledge Haechan's presence. You considered turning around and checking out his appearance but you weren't still done proseccing his total black outfit from weeks ago and seeing whatever he was wearing now would probably make you weak in the knees.

The bartender handed you your Pina colada, you taking a sip of the drink immediately.

"It does taste good." You gasped at Sua that was finishing off her glass by now.

"See, I told you it's good. Like, really good, I'm impressed." She giggled and took a look at the bartender "Two more, please." The girl probably caught your shocked stare "for you and me." She added.

"Thank you. Want to take a walk outside?" You smiled, you didn't want to turn around and find Haechan somewhere behind you. You wanted to exit the same area he was in and prepare yourself to actually face him. In addition, you did come there to hang out with your friends and specifically give the boy zero attention. You were trying to keep things as they were planned. You had a little bit of an anxious break down because you had a gut feeling once you turn around you'll get caught by him and he'll tease you till your very last day on earth.

"Yeah, sure. More people coming in. I think, everyone by now must be here." Sua stated, making you turn around quickly, seeing no one in a span of a second. Still you spotted there was indeed more people than before. "Oh, I spotted Aeri." She jumped in place excited, waving at the girl that most definitely couldn't see her yet. "Wait here and get our drinks. I'm going to bring Aeri here." You gave Sua a nod as she took off.

The bartender placed both full glasses in front of you in a minute and as more people were gathering around the bar it was harder to stay there and keep your drinks safe. You could feel the boat start moving in a bit and to confirm your assumption you heard a wild noise coming from Jeno. A very loud 'let's go' that was perfectly heard by you even through the music. You had to turn around because it was too much of a temptation to see what mess he was up to. Well, for now, the mess weren't really there, he scooped his closest friends around him, taking all of them at once to the bar. You had to be blind to not see Haechan under Jeno's right arm. He had to bent his back a little to fit in. As he was smiling widely, showing off his perfectly white teeth, eyes disappearing in pure joy. His hair seemed a little messy, like he didn't style it at all, got out of the shower and let them dry naturally. You had a feeling if you'd touch his hair you'd be able to tell if he blow dried them or not. Haechan wore a graphic t-shirt with a zip up black hoodie and a leather jacket. Skinny black jeans that he wore showed off his skinny built, finishing off the look with his casual white trainers. You had to force yourself to blink to not look crazy.

The boys were chatting and as the tone of their voices got seemingly lower you couldn't even guess what they were saying. Haechan freed himself of Jeno's hold, reaching for the menu on the other side of the bar. You turned away, watching Sua and Aeri approach you.

"Hey." Aeri reached out to hug you. "I see that freaky company is already starting their madness." she rolled her eyes.

"If Jeno's here, where's Eunsoo?" you asked, sincerely curios. You weren't able to see Eunsoo from where you were standing.

"She's at the entrance with a girl that took economics with her. Apparently they've got some serious business discussion." Aeri pointed with her hands where you guessed she last saw your mutual friend.

"Okay." you gave her a nod, trying really hard to not stare to the side all the noise was coming from. The whole place was pretty chill, Jeno's friends or most likely acquaintances filled up the improvised dance floor. There was maybe 50 people, probably even more. You couldn't imagine Jeno knowing all of them. You never saw like 90% of these people before, you wondered if every friend brought a friend and a long chain of people showed up here without knowing who people surrounding them were.

You wondered if Haechan brought anyone too to fill up the cost of the trip or what if he really did bring someone because they were his friend, because they were close and he wanted to see them here? You were jealous because you obviously weren't one of the people he wanted to see here.

When Aeri finally got her drink from the bartender that was finally freed from Jeno's besties order, Sua, Aeri and you walked outside, greeted by the breezy wind. Thankfully, lots of blankets were piled up on one of the stools, the three of you immediately covering yourself in multiple layers of those.

"There's even comfortable outside seating." You exclaimed, quickly moving your limbs over to the leather couch with multiple pillows. "I wonder if those pillows were ever at risk of being thrown away into the sea." you chuckled, making yourself comfortable and making room for your friends.

"I bet these are sewed onto this." Sua dropped herself next to you, pulling onto the pillow.

"Wow they are indeed sewed into this couch." You giggled like it was insanely funny to you. It really wasn't, just the 2nd Pina colada on an empty stomach was making your head spin a little.

"It's making me sick a little." Aeri stared into the water that foamed from under the motor. "If you look for too long its kinda starting to make you sick."

"Don't look." Sua laughed, pulling onto Aeris hand.

"Fine." the girl turned to look at the two of you hidden under the blankets, fingers peeking from under them to hold onto Pina coladas. "Were you able to take a glance at all the guests? Any interesting faces?"

"I couldn't see anyone besides Jeno that greeted Eunsoo and I. More like he greeted her and then he got tunnel vision and I ran away to Sua. That's it. I know nobody here except for Jeno's circle. "

"I heard Jeno's bestie Jaemin brought his girlfriend for the first time to meet his boys." Sua cleared her throat before speaking.

"Sweet." Aeri cooed in unison with you.

"People are saying Jeno threw the party so his friend could confess feelings to someone."

"Who? Jaemin to that girl?"

"I guess." Aeri shrugged.

"Look! The moon!" Sua pointed at the sky, making you jump in your sit with the unexpected loudness.

"It looks like a full moon." Aeri commented.

"It's not. It's waning moon, full moon was yesterday."

"Hi Mr.Moon." you giggled, stretching out a hand from the blanket to wave at the sky.

"Hi." Both Aeri and Sua sang.

"Are you three talking to the moon?" Eunsoo forced the three of you turn around to the entrance door. "How many drinks each of you had?" She laughed, walking up to you.

"Not that many." Aeri protested, more on her behalf than yours and definitely not Sua's.

"You three should come back inside, it's warmer there and they're about to play your favorite song, Aeri."

"What?" Aeri exclaimed like she was cut deeply. "And I'm here staring at the water bubbles battling my wish to throw up?" The girl laughed and stood up immediately. "Sua?" the girl suggested.

"I'm kinda having fun right here." Sua smiled like a Cheshire cat.

"Come on, I thought you two would be right in the center of that dancing pit setting the whole party up." Eunsoo pulled onto Sua's hand making the girl stand up too. Sua placed her half empty glass on something plasticy that seemed like a great storing surface at first. Aeri linked her arm with Sua's, taking the girl back inside in pure silence

"I'm kinda offended." You giggled, looking at Eunsoo that took Sua's place. "Did you not expect me to pump up the party?"

"I did!" Your friend protested weakly. "I actually wanted to tell you something."

"Does this have to do anything with Jeno?" You perked up your ears, gossip was one of the things that made you dead excited. You sipped onto the Pina colada that you tried really hard to not finish off.

"Yeah, kinda." Eunsoo smiled shyly. "Wait, I didn't even have a single drink yet, I'll go get myself one before we talk."

"Sure." you giggled " i'll be right here." Eunsoo nodded with a giggle. "get me one too, please." you shouted as the girl was reaching the door, making sure she did actually hear you.

You closed your eyes for a second, focusing your hearing on the loud music blasting inside. It was really loud and tempting, you did want to come back there and have fun with your friends as soon as Eunsoo spills her secrets. It took her a little longer than you expected to return to you and by the time it felt like it was maybe 10 minutes since she left you started to doubt if she'd even return to you at all. It kinda felt nice, the more you drank the less you were worried about Haechan, so you downed the drink in your hand to take the one Sua left behind.

Finally, you heard the door open once again and the lonely steps signalled that it must be Eunsoo. You opened your eyes only when by your calculations she was about to stand right next to you, ready to reach out your hand for the drink when your smile faded completely as your vision worked out the person in front of you.

Haechan was still smiling at you despite your face dropping completely. There wasn't a chance he couldn't read the room, not understand that you didn't want him here or you dreaded breathing the same air as him. That's the main reason you were spending your time here, outside.

"Can I sit?"

"No." you replied firmly, looking away. Your eyes focused on the inside of your glass as you took a sip.

"Please?"

"No." you stated once again, challenging him with a stare.

"I-ugh, I'm sorry, I'm going to disobey." Haechan scrunched his nose, taking a little glance around and sitting down.

"I'm waiting for my friends!" you protested, moving your body into the farthest corner from where Harchan seated himself.

"Okay, I'm just going to sit here wait for your friends with you."

"I don't want your company."

"I know." Haechan reached out his hand to you palm up. You didn't understand if he expected you to hold it or what was the intention of the gesture, but you ignored it. "You look very pretty tonight, if you don't mind me saying. I wish you didn't have to hide here because of me." your head snapped in his direction. You were so exasperated it took you a good second to start talking.

"I'm not hiding here. Not from you or because of you, of all people." you tried really hard to sound scandalised, to not sound like you were exposed and hurt and very much curios why did he come here and where he wanted to take this.

"Good, because it kinda felt like it-"

"It's not." You didn't let him finish his nonsense.

"Okay. I know you're mad at me, it's obvious. I did screw you up skipping our presentation day." Your eyes glued to Haechan's side while his attention was glued to his own fingers. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." Haechan moved his eyes to your face, catching you off guard.

"Okay." you gulped before replying.

"I'm really thankful you got me an A even though I made you all stressed out like that." Haechan lowered his voice, teasing his lower lip between his teeth.

"Okay." you nodded quietly not being able to tell him how careless he was and all the things you were practicing because you most definitely was one step away from voicing to him your desires and smashing your lips against his, with the way his teeth were teasing that lower lip.

"Come on, talk to me." The hand that reached out for you before now was gripping carefully onto your knee for attention "If I'm not seeing things that aren't there..." he paused probably picking out words to say, your heart went on pause too. "I probably made you hella confused, I'm so sorry. Whatever I made you think is right." you couldn't find words to talk back so Hyuck continued after a pause "See? I'm trying hard to get over my pride and say I'm sorry. Can't you do the same for me?" Haechan's fingers flexed on your knee.

"I don't have to be sorry for anything." you pressed "If you wanted to say that I was right when I felt like you couldn't care less about me and I wasn't one bit someone worth at least noticing of your plans in advance then thank you for confirmation, I guessed that by now without your help." You tried to shake away his hand off your body. You were feeling a little too warm under his touch.

"I didnt mean that you need to say sorry to me, only the pride part. You really don't want to make it easier for me, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." You moved your body more against the back rest, crossing your arms over your chest, your drink close to your mouth. The pineapple smell made you thirsty, you took a sip. If Eunsoo ever planned on coming back it's better she returned with a whole damn tray of drinks with the time it took her, you thought.

Haechans finger still rested over your knee like they were meant to be there. It made you mad a little, that you didn't force him to put it away immediately and now the Haechan fever was spreading over your body.

You reached out a hand, peeling each of his fingers off your knee. Haechan's fingers were freezing, if you weren't mad you would've suggested him a blanket. As soon as he gave in and allowed you to take his hand in yours you reached to take it back to his lap. You wanted to let go as soon as you reached his lap and hide behind the blanket but instead you were caught in claws formed by Hyucks fingers. He forced your palm to rest against his lower stomach, not letting you to win the battle the two of you suddenly had.

"Let go." You tried to sound threatening.

"Not until you're forgiving me."

"Then you'll have to freeze to death and I'll watch you drown in the ocean, Jack." you smarted.

"It's a river, Rose." he cackled, always being ready for a comeback.

"Shut up, I know." You tried to pull your hand out of his hold as it felt like he loosened his grip, but as soon as he could feel you move his hand pressed yours back against his stomach.

Your other hand still held onto the glass and you downed whatever was in there to free your hand.

"I know you know." Haechan smiled warmly at you. You looked at him a little confused, was it the Pina colada or the way his fingers were gripping onto yours? "Are you done with your drink?" the boys finger pointed at the empty glass in your hand. "I'll take it, okay?" Reaching out the next moment to take the glass from you.

You watched Haechan place the glass back to where Sua stored it before. He moved slowly, like he had all the time in the world. You wondered if anyone will eventually walk out that door to have a smoke break or if Jeno will look for Haechan to set you free. Or Sua, or Aeri, or literally anyone. You still had a little hope Eunsoo will remember she wanted to share her news with you and return.

You were buzzing a little inside if you were honest to yourself. Haechan did find you himself, he did say he's sorry, he did hold your hand like he wanted for you two to be closer. Still, he didn't really say anything besides he was sorry. It wasn't enough for you to get your guard down, to let him play you like he wanted to.

"You can let go of my hand, it's not like I'm going to run away from here anyway." you said calmly. You had that warm aura under the blanket, it was pitch black outside but the lights from the inside were making the dim light come through to where the two of you were sitted. Same for the music, you could still hear pretty clearly the muffled sound coming from the inside. It made you reminisce a little about that time Haechan took you out. You moved your eyes onto his face features. Haechan's face softened too as he saw you relax more. You wondered if he thought of that time too, how he rested his head on your lap and made you run your fingers through his hair. If he'd ask you to do that now, you wouldn't mind agreeing.

"Promise?" You gave him a slight nod. "I want us to go back what we had."

"I-" your face dropped a little as the words left his mouth, he clearly felt that as his face expression mirrored yours. He was putting effort for you to allow him the sex he talked about. "I'm not going to sleep with you." you pulled your hand out of his grip, finally.

"I mean to what we had for the last couple of weeks. When we were partners in the project and friends." Your head snapped back in Haechan's direction. "I mean it. I want to be your friend." you blinked at him wordlessly. You felt a little too warm under all those blankets while Haechans ears were seemingly turning pink from the cold outside. You reached out to him with no sound at all, lifting up his palm the moment he realised you were reaching out to him. You ignored the gesture once again, moving up to feel the temperature of his nose and ears with the back of your hand.

"You're freezing. You'll get sick." you half whispered, taking all those blankets off your body. As you sat straight and gathered all the blankets left behind by girls you had to get on your knees on the couch as the dress you were wearing was way too narrow on the legs and didn't allow you to move however you wanted to. "I can share a blanket with a friend." you added quitly, bitting onto your lips afterwards as you busied yourself with covering Haechan who you could tell with your side vision bit into his cheek, staring at you intently.

"Honestly..." Haechan brought your attention to his lips, while your hands reached to his chest with a blanket "You look very pretty tonight..." You pressed your palms against Haechan's chest when you felt his palm very up your thigh, you could feel his fingers tight on your bum. Your heart hitched, you needed immediate medical help but all you got is Haechan’s tightened grip as he felt your body lose balance and give in to him a little "Like, saying this as a friend, very pretty." he added, moving his hand up onto your waist to prove to you it was a friendly gesture indeed. Like he was just trying to help you keep your balance.

"Thank you." you gulped, reaching out to put one more blanket over the boys body, when you felt a little like giving in. It didn't really have to be all the way him, you felt like you had to give him something too. You couldn't really process your own thoughts let alone processing whatever was happening between you two. You sat back down onto your knees next to Haechan, smoothing out the blanket like a caring person over a sick someone. Haechan watched you intently, it almost felt like he could see the thought process inside you, not moving and giving you all the time you needed. You leaned in to him slowly, Haechan's hand sliding up your back the closer you got to him. Your eyes ran over his features, he was as attractive as you could remember him being that day you felt for the first time that he can be attractive. You thought back for a second and wondered if that day even was the first time you thought about him in that way.

You moved one of the hands that supported you from Haechan's chest onto his cheek. You really wanted to caress his cheek like that since that time he rested his head on your lap. You ran the fingers up the skin and it felt even softer than what you imagined. Haechan smiled under your touch, sincerely, you could feel that because you just witnessed him being sincerely happy with his friends. You were feeling overwhelmed with the fact he was right under you, open to anything you would suggest and do. He never felt more real and sincere than now even though he wasn't saying anything at all. You could feel your ears burn with everything you felt for Lee Haechan. His hand that now rested at the back of your neck didn't give you any pressure at all. It felt like it was there just in case you were about to dissappear and he'd catch you.

You pecked the corner of his lips quicker than he would be able to process it, quicker than you were able to process it yourself. Haechan's head moved in your direction as you were pulling away, he tried to catch your lips with his but you paced away and he let you move as far as you wanted to.

"I want more." He whined, moving his other hand onto your waist.

"As a friend?" you mused, feeling his hand crawl from the back of your neck to grip onto your face.

"Yeah, as a friend." he smiled even more, his palm now pulling you closer to him. You gave in kissing the other corner of Haechan's mouth. His eyes closed, letting you know he liked it. You smiled to yourself, you've seen Haechan at the peak of pleasure numerous times but somehow the face expression he made now made you the happiest. You pecked his jaw, peppering more confident kisses all the way down his neck, Haechan's fingers still holding onto your face in the process.

"Straddle me." he groaned, as you raised your head to wet your lips.

"My dress's too tight, I can't." your pointing finger touched his neck softly where the lipstick stain was visible, Haechan's skin reacted to the touch, sending chills to the back of his neck.

"Why'd you wear something like that..." Haechan looked you in the eyes. "Always trying to make things harder for me, even with the clothes you wear. Right, baby?" you held back a gasp the very last moment before it escaped your throat. It must've looked terrifying from Haechan's perspective, your face expression, like you were about to pass out just at the sudden pet name once again. You froze a little because it was hard for you to process the next steps. Haechan on the other hand moved under you, freeing his body of all those blankets you carefully placed on his body not that long ago. His legs spread more and you sat back on your heels to not get in his way and watched what he was up to. He pulled himself more against the backrest, trying to pull the pillow behind him to the side and making you giggle.

"These are sewed on this."

"Shit." Haechan swallowed a laugh, suddenly grabbing onto your thighs to guide you next to him on the other side of his body. His hand guarded your neck from the uncomfortable pillow-less side of the couch, comfortably wrapping around your body. His other hand guided your legs over his thigh and covered the both of you with the blankets. You kept your body a little distanced from Haechan, at least it's upper part. It only felt comfortable to rest your head on his chest, so you did that, making the both of you closer than before. Haechan slid his hand down to hug your waist and both your hands locked round his neck. It felt a bit surreal if you were to think about it, you were volunteerely snuggling with Lee Haechan of all people, at a party.

Haechan was finally done with piling back onto you all those blankets, creeping up a hand onto your cheek. It quite literally felt like a fever dream. Feeling Haechan's fingers on your freezing skin, while staring into your eyes so sweetly and deeply. Your heart skipped a bit when he licked his lips suddenly, making it feel like he'd lean in and kiss you now. He didn't, though, and it really felt like a teasing contest and despite both contestants very clearly dying to touch each other's lips and get lost in each other, they held back with the very last strings of sanity and didn't want to lose that competition. Haechan's fingers ran through your cheek consistently, you would've purred if he'd kiss you in reward.

"I feel dizzy." Haechan commented, breaking the silence between you two. Dear lord, if only the boy knew how dizzy you felt from keeping yourself composed.

"Are you sea sick? Did you have too many drinks?" you blabbered. It was a little too clear he didn't feel actually sick.

"No I'm dizzy because of you." He voiced out what you were feeling, you were so overwhelmed with his presence and his warmth and the fact he smelled so good and so... dear to your heart, your fingers pulled his neck more against your face. Haechan moved more, getting his lips against your cheek.

"I need you to know, I like you so much." his lips pressed against your cheek as he said it, making his nose press against you aswell. You felt like he entirely pushed you more against his body. You needed medical help, immediately. Your heart wasn't used to this sort of emotions.

"Shut up." you shot back immediately to hide the gasp that exceeded you, instead of a thought thrugh answer. You didn't expect him to be so blatant after all the pining you've put yourself through, you would've never guessed he'd say something like that. But then again, you were constantly proven you can never know what will be Haechan's next move.

"I'm serious." he pressed and forced your eyes to find his.

"How much did you have to drink?" you tried to back out. It was so terribly difficult for you to jump over the metaphorical wall so suddenly, let him know verbally that everything he felt was mutual. Surprisingly you turned out to be more stubborn in that sence than Haechan himself.

"I didn't have a single drink, which I know is not in any way relatable to you. Still, I'm not able to get your guard completely down and have your heart open for me." Your eyes ran down his neck and chest.

"It is, open." you mumbled. "I... you can clearly tell everything is the same for me? Don't make me struggle." Your fingers played with the fabric of his shirt on the shoulder, while your brain fought back and didn't let you say you liked Haechan even more than he could've imagined.

"Look me in the eyes, at least." He whispered and your eyes moved back to his face but were unable to focus on them. Haechan moved his head towards you at the same time and the second you caught up with his actions you felt his lips on yours.

Something between a moan and a cry exceeded your mouth. Your hands gripped immediately onto his neck with force, even if Haechan intended on keeping the kiss sweet and slow he quickly scratched those intentions when he could feel how badly you needed him.

He felt just like that last kiss that lingered on your lips for weeks. You loved his lips like that, warm, plump and all yours. He clearly was more than ready to speed up the pace and once it was clear the two of you were on the same page, Haechan deepend the kiss. He sucked on your lower lip, slowly turning you onto your back. He clearly forgot about your dress situation, trying to place himself between your legs.

Haechan's hand carefully held the back of your head to not hurt you from the solid armrests of the couch. Your tongues started a battle that was impossible to win. Haechan's other hand firmly gripped onto your waist, while his leg finally was able to get between yours. You almost found it in you to worry about the dress getting ruined and stretched out but you felt Haechan's mouth leave yours and the sudden breath of fresh air made yourself even more dizzy than before. You lost all the thoughts in your brain.

Your fingers ran through the boys hair, brushing the strands back and making a whole mess in place of his hairstyle. Haechan leaned back to peck your lips, then lowering his lips to your neck. You tightened your fingers in his locks, forcing a purr from his throat, that happend to land on your neck. Your hips moved against his thigh unconsciously, making yourself heated in a whole different way.

"Haechan." you half moaned. His tongue played with the skin of your neck, drawing tiny lines and sucking it in with his lips. As his chin moved the fabric of the dress lower down your skin, Haechan's licks and sucks became more aggressive, in addition with little bites you could feel him suck in a hickey at the base of your neck.

Your center rubbed against his thigh unconsciously, while you were shivering under his touch, creating friction for Haechan as well.

"This is just a little reminder in case you're black out drunk and won't remember what boundaries we overstepped." he pecked the skin that must've been red and moved his face back in front of yours.

"I am not." you smiled at him and let go of his hair to hold his cheeks between your hands. They felt so soft, so velvety, and the way you squeezed them between your palms made him look like the softest person ever.

"Then it's for me to know it wasn't just a fever dream." You smiled at him even wider, pulling his head closer and pecking his lips. Haechan kissed you back slowly, rubbing his body against yours in a very lazy manner. His mouth left yours, hiding his face against your neck, closer to your ear and nibbling on the skin there. It felt so good to have his body weight pressing you down that outside couch. You couldn't care less if someone was about to come outside, even if they did you wouldn't be able to move yourself an inch away from Haechan's body. Your only regret was that neither of you had magical powers so you'd be able to move to your bedroom this very moment and be able to have each other for the rest of the night.

"Kiss me more." you whispered needy. Even you were dreading the clothing choice by now, you needed his touch, you needed the feeling of his skin on yours, anything that would make you a little more closer to him would do.

You were starting to get greedy, only recently you thought you'd die just from the kissing and now you needed more and more.

Haechan raised his head and smashed his lips against yours, smirking for a slight second beforehand.

"So needy for my kisses and just a week ago you acted like you never wanted to kiss me." he mumbled into your mouth.

Haechan's body grinded against yours with full force now and you couldn't possibly ignore him getting hard on top of you. You definitely weren't about to have sex on the outside terrace of the boat and you hoped he didn't think of that either. You had to find power in you to stop before it got painful for him.

"Haechan-ah." you moved your head back only to be followed and caught with his lips once again. "Baby?" you placed your palms on his chest, pushing the boy away. You tried the pet name to get his attention and it clearly worked. Your own heart did a flip, you couldn't imagine what he felt, you definitely smashed a few layers of bricks on your metaphorical wall with a cannonball "Don't you think we need to slow down?" you asked softly, directing your eyes between your bodies. You felt like Haechan's cock twitched in his pants.

"Right." he cleared his throat and pushed his weight off your body, extending his arms to keep the distance. He stared at you for a good second, leaning back to peck you quickly. "I do need to cool down a little." you gave him a nod and watched him get up with a smile. You sat back on the couch, Haechan making himself comfortable right next to you. His pants did look terribly uncomfortable on him now, you noticed and you were hoping the cool wind would help him calm down quickly because it wasn't like you wanted to give him a blowjob in the middle of a party. Or more like maybe you did, but not right here in a public setting and besides that you wouldn't let him know even that you had the thought, he'd get even more excited than before.

"I'm sorry, I should've pulled you off me the moment I felt you." You moved closer and rested your chin on his shoulder. "Do you need a blanket?" you asked, Haechan's head turning in response and getting too close to you to resist to kiss him. Before he could answer you closed that centimetre between you and pecked his lips quickly.

"No, I need the calm down, don't kiss me." he grunted in a cute way.

"It's just a peck." you tried to hold back a smile.

"It's your needy stare and your lips on mine and everything else and I don't think I'm going to calm down while you're here."

"So you're excited just by presence?" you teased.

"Very much." He replied coolly.

"I'm never eating sugar again."

"Why?" he furrowed his eyebrows confused.

"Sugar combined with the new side of your personality will probably give me diabetes." you smiled at him expectantly, Haechan giggled, hiding his face in his palms.

"You're so stupid." he shook his head in his hands. "You're very lucky I'm blinded by love otherwise I would've booed you."

"It was a good joke." you mumbled, trying really hard to act nonchalantly at his words. Blinded by love, was he about to say he loved you right on that couch too? You were feeling sick to your stomach.

It got quiet between you two once again, you wondered what he thought of to calm himself down. You were just enjoying the comfortable silence right next to the boy you liked.

You sneaked your hand in the space between his arm and his thigh, facing it upward and extending your arm further, for Haechan to properly see it in his lap and be able to interact with it. You rested your cheek against his shoulder once again.

You were very much thankful for the cool breeze outside because your palm was currently sweating and the nerversness was crawling up your throat. You hoped the gesture was clear enough for him to act on it, but you closed your eyes in case of failure. Haechan shuffled under you and you opened your eyes to see what he was doing, and he was looking at you, bending his neck given your current position.

Once he saw you look back at him his head turned back to look down his lap, where your hand was. You couldn't feel how you started to bite your lip in nervousness but you could very clearly feel Haechan's freezing cold palm land on yours. You opened your fingers and as he did the same, you interwind your palms. His grip was tight around your fingers and you did the same, letting him know you were serious about it. Haechan forced your hands up and to his lips, kissing the back of your palm. You wrinkled your face in relieve, even though it seemed more like you were in pain, and kissed his shoulder.

He then proceeded to fall back against the backrest and you did the same, hands still in each other's hold. You sat hand in hand for a little while, feeling so good next to him without any excessive intimacy. You couldn't remember when or how both of you started kissing again. The kiss wasn't as passionate as before, the both of you filled that longing and now both your brains knew it ain't going to be the same as before, you won't have to hold back your feelings. You kissed steadily, Haechan's thumb slowly caressing your palm in his hold.

"We should go back." you mumbled through the kiss. "Your friends and my friends must be looking for us."

"They clearly aren't." he giggled. You smiled and couldn't agree more. You probably spent outside at least two hours, in which there was no signs of Eunsoo, the girl that promised to get you a drink.

"What if someone walks in on us being too explicit?"

"No one will, besides, i don't think we're in any way explicit by now."

"How'd you know? The doors are open. You're just lying to me, right?"

"No, Jeno keeps everyone occupied."

"You're lying?"

"I'm being serious, I'm not going to lie to you anymore."

"So you'll tell me why you skipped our presentation?" you voiced out the question you wanted to ask him for a while now.

"I-" he sighed like he was suddenly tired "Can I not?" he asked softly.

"No, you really hurt me. If we want to go further, I want to know why."

"It was the trial day for that stupid case. I totally forgot about it because I was with you all the time but Jeno texted me if I'm going to be on time the next day and I was so confused." Haechan trailed off, looking into the water, like he didn't want to tell you the bad news and you blinked multiple times to not get yourself worked up.

"What were you sentenced to?" You asked concerned but moreover scared. You were so scared it'd be something bad it'll break your heart.

"My case was closed for lack of evidence." You sighed loudly, not even trying to hide from him you were relieved. "I didn’t steal anything and I was clean because I was with you when they were doing shit..." Haechan looked you in the eyes again, squeezing your palm. "Its thanks to you I am here today with no probation period or some other shit. They made me come as a witness, but I don't really know anything and even if I did I would've never said a thing."

"I'm so glad you're fine." you let him know.

"I know. I should really stay next to you to stay out of trouble." you smirked and then giggled and hid your face in the crook of his neck next. Haechan stared at you teasingly and you couldn't resist running away from those eyes.

"Okay, maybe we should come back inside." you gave him a nod against his skin. "Can we stay close to each other for the rest of the night?"

"I have to see my friends too tho." you rose your head up to see him.

"And tell them all about me?" he smirked and you couldn't stop thinking how attractive he looked that very moment.

"No, Sua doesn't really like you. I have to prepare her before saying anything" You came up with the mildest version you could at the spot. You didn't want to make him upset and tell him neither of them seemed to like the idea of Haechan right next to you and you weren't in the mental state yet to explain to them everything. Or explain anything to him, it felt perfectly enough for you to just have this little secret between you two.

"But you do?" Haechan let go of your hand to enjoy your reply.

"Shut up." you teased, forcing yourself to unglue from the boy and stend up. It's needless to say it was a difficult task to finish.

Now that you could feel how breezy it was outside you wanted to just fall back into the warmth Haechan shared with you. You turned around checking out the boy that still sat on the couch, giving you a blank stare.

"You're staying here?"

"I'll follow behind." he smiled and watched you take a step away.

"Okay." you gave him a nod and walked away further, turning away to properly walk inside. You were getting cold with how long it was taking you to walk back in. As your feet almost brought you inside you turned around with the door half opened. Watching Haechan get up and walk around the couch towards you. His eyes were set on his phone and he probably thought you were already inside, when you ran back to him, catching him off guard mid-way.

"I need you to know too, that I like you a lot." you said in one breath, holding on to his waist. Haechan beamed a smile and you couldn't resist smiling back. His fingers quickly found your cheeks to hold you in place for a quick kiss before you finally turned around and walked back in, scanning the room for Sua, Eunsoo and Aeri.

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haechwrites · 10 months

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undercut - L.MK

idol!mark lee x reader

wc: ~1.2k

warnings: nothin. kisses. fluff.

A/N: MARK UNDERCUT!!!!!!!!!! I NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM also ive been extra delulu don't mind me.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Can I come over? I’ll ask hyung to drop me off at yours.” I could hear the cars passing by him, louder than I expected the city streets to be at 3 am.

“You don’t have a schedule for tomorrow?” I ask, barely holding the phone between my head and shoulder. For some reason, I thought it’d be a good idea to paint my nails at this hour.

“Also blue or red?” I cut him off before he can answer my previous question. I clink the nail polish bottles in my hands.

“Blue. And nooo, it’s my off day…” And then he’s quiet, I can hear his nerves through the phone.

“You want me to say ‘yes,’ don’t you?” I smirk, hoping he can feel my teasing nature from his end.

He groans, annoyed that I’m making it difficult for him and I bite my lip to stop myself from giggling. He’s such a baby.

“Of course I want my girlfriend to say ‘yes’ to me asking to come over. Are you insane?” I listen to him huff and I can sense the text I’m about to get from Renjun, telling me to get Mark to quit whining.

“So dramatic,” I snicker. I start to pack up the nail polish, already knowing he’ll be here in five minutes regardless of my answer. “You’re on your way, right?”

I’m met with silence and I hesitate putting my clear coat back in the cabinet.

“I’m outside.”

“Of course you are. No respect for my decisions I see.” In contrast to my words, my heart is actually racing. I almost slide across the floor at how fast I run to the buzzer.

“Just open the door,” Mark whines some more and I can hear the buzz from the other side. I hang up the phone and open the door, ready to see his face.

It’s been a week since I’ve last seen him, if you’re not counting the facetime calls at random hours – he’s lucky my job isn’t strict on my phone use. I never know how much I miss Mark Lee until he’s busy with his hectic schedules. It took me awhile to accept and appreciate the nature of our relationship. Mark thanks me whenever he can for putting up with his lifestyle. What he doesn’t know is that I love him so much that I can easily make his lifestyle mine. Even if that means seeing him randomly at 3 am on a Wednesday.

I poke my head out and I see a figure stalk down the hallway, a hoodie hiding his head.

“Psst,” I whisper and his head lifts to find my voice. He speedwalks over and I tug him in, carefully closing my front door.

“You know I know where you live right? Like I won’t get lost,” Mark laughs, leaving no time to pull me in for a hug. I feel my muscles relax into his and I don’t realize how much I needed it. His time. His space. Him.

The more I soften in his embrace, the tighter his arms squeeze. “You’re precious cargo. Gotta make sure my man arrives safely.”

“Your man?” Mark leans back to show me how happy my word choice made him. Even on his tired face, his smile shines brightly. No eye bags can hide the gleam of his brown eyes.

I roll my eyes and slap his chest. “You heard me, weirdo. Stop acting like it’s new news.”

“Ahhh,” He lifts my feet off the ground to nuzzle into me some more. “I can’t help that it sounds so good.”

“You know what else sounds good?” I ask when he puts me down. “A movie sesh.”

I split from his embrace, scurrying to the kitchen to hide the new dust of pink on my cheeks. The effect he has on me never wears off, even after all this time. It’s almost embarrassing.

“Ah, my girl’s a genius,” I hear his feet chase after me to hug me from behind as I grab a pack of popcorn from the cabinets. I can feel his soft breathing on my shoulder and it feels unreal that he’s physically here. I can actually feel his chest rise and fall against my back. I’ve gotten so used to listening to him fall asleep on the phone.

“Your girl?” I mock.

“Shut up.” Mark mutters into my shoulder. I reach back to stroke his hair when I’m met with the fabric of his jacket.

“Why do you still have your hoodie up?” I twist around in his arms to face him and his head swiftly repositions to fall into my chest. I try to push his head back up, but he’s stubborn.

“What are you hiding, Mark Lee?” I flick his head and he exclaims.

“Ow! Why are you so violent?” He finally looks up and I flip his hoodie back before he could protest again.

It’s gone. His hair.

“Your hair.”

Mark looks down at me shyly, biting his lip. I watch him run his hand through his undercut, focusing on the fact that it’s so short his black strands don’t file through his fingers anymore. Or that his ends don’t slightly curl around the nape of his neck. He even has etchings shaved into the sides. I can’t remember if I already knew about this and saw it over facetime or if it’s a new change to his appearance. Maybe it’s been longer than a week since I saw him last. The shock on my face is evident.

He squeezes my hip to bring me back. “You like it?” So it is new.

Mark grabs one of my hands and guides it through his haircut. It almost hurts with how prickly it is, but it’s fun. It’s new. And the way he sighs into my hands makes my chest tighten.

“It’s… it’s kinda hot.” I take both of my hands and run them through, not really missing how easy his hair was to tug before. It’s a new look and I can tell he’s confident in it. I wonder if I could get him to shave my initials next time.

“Yeah?” Mark stands up straighter, a fiery look in his eyes as he watches me admire his cut. My fingertips dance across the hair. I barely miss the way his tongue swipes across his lips.

“Yeah, I love it.” I can’t contain my smile, and he chuckles at my reaction. He tugs my waist in closer before planting a long kiss on my cheek. “I can see your pretty face so much better.”

He groans, letting his head fall into the side of my neck, nipping at my skin instinctively. I snicker at his reaction, letting my fingers massage his scalp.

“You’re killing me,” he says, almost like a whisper. I pull his face in front of me, watching the shy pout form on his lips. I give him a peck and watch him chase my mouth for more.

“Ditto.” I admit, caving into his cry for more kisses.

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ohmygs-blog · 4 months

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sending lyrics to dreamies.

lost the request for this butttt hope you guys like!!

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strxbrymochi · 2 months

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melting an ice heart | lmk

coming soon.

pairing; lee mark (nct) x fem!reader

genre & tropes: smau, mostly enemies to lovers but a little bit of fluff too don’t worry, sports au (hockey player x figure skater), grumpy x sunshine energy

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, bit of suggestive stuff but nothing happens, abuse (but only a little bit!), someone gets into an accident

synopsis: he’s the life of every party, the team heartthrob and mvp while she’s the stone cold ice-princess who will stop at nothing to get things her way. but when an accident intertwines the two more than they had hoped, will his fire be enough to melt the ice facade she’s built up or will they continue to clash and end up in ruins?

updates: every mwf 8:00pm gmt+8//11:00pm gmt+10

start date: 18 march 2024.

taglist: open!

note: due to my lack of ice hockey knowledge, sports wise won't be super accurate pls forgive me haha its also gonna be heavily inspired by all the ice skating shows ive watched as a skater so yes HAHA

#nct dream scenarios #nct dream smau #nct smau #nct fics #nct dream fic #nct dream texts #mark x reader #mark lee nct #nct sports au #nct sports au smau #mark lee x reader #mark lee enemies to lovers #nct enemies to lovers #nct scenarios #nct imagines

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writemekpop · 1 month

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Cold Feet | Mark Lee

Summary: With just one week to go, you call off the wedding. You’ve just realised that you know nothing about your fiancé.

Genre: Angst, established relationship AU

Word count: >1k

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

You stood outside Mark’s door, shivering. Icy rain was slamming down, drenching you, but you didn’t care. You just needed to see your boyfriend.

“Come on, open up!” you cried, banging on the door again.

The door swung open. Mark was standing there, in nothing but his grey pyjama bottoms, rubbing his eyes sleepily. His dark hair was splayed out in all directions.

“Y/n, whatchu doin’ out here? It’s three in the morning.” Mark said. He stood to the side, ushering you in. “Come inside, you’re soaked.”

You shook your head, ignoring his outstretched hand. “We’re getting married in a week!”

Mark smiled. “I know. Baby, wedding planning is all we’ve been doin’ for months.”

“No, you don’t get it. Mark, we’re supposed to be getting married, but… but… we can’t!”

Mark frowned. “Why not?”

“Because we don’t know anything about each other!” Tears slid down your cheeks, mixing with the rain.

“What are you talking about, Y/n? Of course we do,” he said softly.

“No we don’t. We’re making a huge mistake!”

“Please just come inside so we can talk about this properly.”

You followed Mark into his apartment. He handed you a towel and one of his spiderman T shirts.

“Put this on, you’re gonna catch a cold,” he said.

Your heart twinged at Mark’s kindness. You got changed out of your clothes and sat on Mark’s bed, wearing his T shirt that smelled just like him. You gulped.

Mark rubbed his neck. “Y/n, this is just pre-wedding jitters. Freaking out in the middle of the night ain’t helpin’ anyone. Can we just talk in the morning?”

“You’re not listening to me! Mark, we’ve been dating for a year, but we haven’t talked about anything important. I mean… where are we going to live once we get married? One of us is going to have to give up their apartment, but who?”

Mark stared at you in silence. You went on.

“We’ve never talked about whether we want kids, or if we’re gonna send them to private school or not. Whose family are we going to visit on the holidays? And what about money?”

Mark shook his head. “Y/n, I don’t care about all that stuff. All I know is that I love you, and that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life.”

Mark touched your arm gently, but you shook him off.

“All that stuff, Mark, is our entire life,” you spat. “Love isn’t enough.”

The temperature in the room fell to zero.

“Do you not love me?” Mark asked, voice small.

“I do, but Mark, what even is love? We don’t live together, we’ve never been on holiday together, heck, we’ve never even had sex!”

Mark gulped; eyes glued to the floor. “I thought you said you were okay with that…”

You sighed. “Mark, don’t you get it? We’re rushing into this lifelong commitment when we’ve barely thought it though. I should never have… said yes when you proposed.”

“Are you saying you don’t wanna marry me next week?”

You let out a shaky breath. “Not next week… but maybe someday?”

“I have never doubted us, Y/n.” Mark stood up, stuffed a pillow under his arm, and walked towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To sleep on the couch,” Mark said, rubbing his eyes.

“But this is your apartment…” you said.

Mark groaned. “Fine, you sleep on the couch! Actually, why don’t you go back to your own apartment!”

“Mark, I-“

“Why are you sabotaging our wedding like this, Y/n? You should have talked to me earlier, instead of waiting till the week before our wedding. You’re being so… selfish.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, tears beginning to fall again.

“Go home, Y/n. I can’t be with you right now.” Mark pushed you out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut. The lock clicked.

You looked around Mark’s living room. There were pictures of the two of you on every surface. You felt sick.

You sobbed the entire way home in the taxi. When you got inside your apartment, you flopped onto your bed, not even bothering to take off your shoes. You had just pushed a good man away. What had you done?

---

The next morning you were awoken by a thumping on the door. You jolted out of bed, head throbbing from crying so much.

Could it be…? You tried not to let yourself hope as you ran to the door and pulled it open.

Yes! It was Mark, looking adorable and tired with his circle glasses and stubble.

“Mark, what are you doing here?”

“I think we should move into your apartment,” Mark said.

You raised your brows. “What?”

“Yours is bigger, so it just makes sense,” Mark said. “And I do want kids, but no more than three. I’d wanna send them to private school if we can afford it. Let’s go to your folks for the holidays, and for money? We can figure it out together.”

You sighed. “Oh, Marky.”

Mark took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to your palm. “I’m sorry for gettin’ mad last night, Y/n. Everything you said was totally reasonable. We… need to talk about this kinda stuff before rushing into anything.”

You sighed.

Mark looked at you, brown eyes glassy. “We can postpone the wedding if that’s what you want. We don’t even have to get married. But, please, I need you in my life.”

You pulled Mark into a tight hug, too overwhelmed to speak. You breathed in his familiar peach shampoo smell, and basked in the warmth of his body.

“How was I lucky enough to find you?” you whispered; face buried in his neck. “I must have done something amazing in a past life. Saved a bunch of orphans from a burning building or something.”

Mark snorted.

You were beaming as you pulled him into your apartment, shutting the door behind you.

“I want to kiss my man, but I don’t wanna give the neighbours a show,” you said, smirking.

Mark just smiled, and leaned in to kiss you. His lips were eager, and his hands roamed your hips. You could feel his tongue against yours, sending shivers down your spine. You pushed your hands into his hair and kissed him back, hard.

When you pulled away, you were both panting.

Mark leant his forehead against yours. His eyes were closed.

“There was one more thing I wanted to talk about… about what you said last night,” Mark whispered.

“What is it?”

“The fact that we’ve never… you know…” Mark bit his lip.

You pulled away to look your boyfriend in the eye. You cupped his cheek. “Baby, I’m fine with that. You said you wanted to wait till marriage, and… I respect that.”

Mark’s fingers were toying with the hem of your blouse. “Are you sure you’re going to be able to resist me for that long?” His pink lips were pushed out in a smirk.

You giggled, wrapping your hands around his broad shoulders. “It’s true, you are irresistible. It’s going to be torture.”

You dragged out the last word, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Mark’s neck. He shuddered with pleasure.

“It’ll be worth the wait,” Mark said, his eyes slipping shut.

“Don’t I know it.”

—

MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

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1nyourdr34ms · 1 month

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100 days of mark

+18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

pairing: mark x fem!reader

synopsis: just before your wedding, karina convinces you to go on a 100 day trip to europe where you meet mark lee.

warnings: unprotected sex; p*ssy eating, doggy, missionary (guys, always. ALWAYS PROTECT!).

a/n: 1) jonas is fictional. 2) do you need a part 2 of this? then pls let me know ✍️🏻

"I'll miss you so much," you murmured, clinging tighter to your fiancé under the blanket. The dimmed light of the room reflected off your face, your cheeks almost crushed against your fiancé's chest. You felt his lips in your hair. "Me too, sweetheart," he replied in almost a whisper.

You and Jonas had been engaged for 6 months. You met at a software development company where you both worked, 2 years ago. He had much more professional experience than you and introduced you to the workflow. Right from the start, he fell for you.

He was taller than you, with a sweet smile, doe-like eyes, and a muscular build. He was always kind to you, mostly taking care of you when you felt misunderstood or rejected by others. With him, you could share your sorrows, whether they were work-related or personal. You knew he was always there for you.

Three months after your first acquaintance, he confessed his love, and after eight months, he proposed. He was quite determined... You knew everything was moving too fast, but you surrendered to him. That's just how it was in your relationship: Jonas knew what was right and guided you through life, and you trusted him completely. With him, you felt like a winner.

Karina, your childhood friend, watched as your life changed rapidly. You were 25 and on the verge of becoming a married woman. She was happy for you, yet at the same time, she was sad that she wouldn't see you as often as in the old days after the wedding. She believed Jonas wouldn't allow it.

Naturally, you found the idea absurd. Jonas wasn't the type to forbid you things or limit you, but maybe Karina wasn't entirely wrong... You feared that after the wedding, you wouldn't be able to experience your old freedom anymore.

So, you came up with the idea to join your old scholarship group from university on a 100-day trip to Europe: London, Vienna, and Brussels. Jonas - and especially his mother - were initially skeptical about this idea, but somehow, you managed to convince him at least.

"Did you remember your ticket? And you have provisions too? Very good... Ah, what about your phone credit, do you have enough?" Jonas pressed, as he checked the necessary documents for your flight.

Karina rolled her eyes as she hurried along beside you and Jonas. You kept nodding and assured Jonas that you were perfectly prepared.

"Take care of yourself, love, and call me as soon as you arrive at the hotel," he reminded you with care. You gave him an affirming smile and a final kiss before heading off with Karina to your plane.

"Finally, you can breathe again. It's okay to still feel sad, but as soon as we're off the plane, you're switching off from all that stress, promise?" By stress, she meant Jonas. You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, whatever."

Karina glanced at your hand and frowned, "And take off that stupid ring," she noted. "Are you crazy? I can't just take off my engagement ring!" you protested. Karina sighed, "You can't fully enjoy the trip if you're constantly reminded of Jonas every time you see your ring. These might be the last 100 days we spend together as friends. Take it off," Karina urged encouragingly.

You felt uneasy about it, but ultimately you followed Karina's advice. After all, these were indeed the last times you would spend unmarried with your best friend, and a little break from thinking about your relationship might do you good.

Day 1 to 33 in London

A trip organized by a scholarship foundation is not quite a real vacation at the end of the day. That means you sometimes get assignments to explore the history of the city and present it to the other participants in the form of a lecture, or to participate in discussion rounds.

Despite this, the trip was a lot of fun for you because it didn't really feel like school. It was much more relaxed, and you weren't obliged to do anything you weren't interested in.

In the first few weeks, solid groups formed. There were a total of 40 participants. You and Karina were initially always assigned to the same people during group activities: Johnny Suh, Mark Lee, Nakamoto Yuta, and Wendy.

Therefore, it was no surprise that you continued to stick together in the following days. Most people were quite likable and easy-going. The evenings were always full of laughter, fun, and joy. You also met a few times just the six of you without the other participants, which helped you get to know each other better.

With Johnny, Mark, and Yuta, it was never boring. These guys always managed to make you laugh. You found it particularly funny when Mark became the center of the jokes. He was such a naive, genuine boy that you always had to laugh at, even when he did nothing special. Just the fact that he would burst into laughter at every little thing Johnny did was hilarious to you.

You even created a group chat, which was also always filled with laughter and silliness.

Mark: dude, I'm serious ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Wendy: you're in the same room

Wendy: but can't manage

Wendy: to communicate

Wendy: ´_´

You: hahahhaa

Johnny: the thing is

Yuta: I'm telling you

Johnny: we don't want to go

Yuta: I can go

Johnny: -_-

You: hahahhaa

Karina: ahhahahaha

Mark: soooo?!

Wendy: okay okay

Wendy: who wants

Wendy: to accompany Mark?

Wendy: not me

Yuta: ME!

Johnny: nope

You: I can go too:)

Karina: too exhausted

Yuta: yesss, so Mark, y/n, and me??

You: okay:)

Mark: 👍🏻

"Geez, what’s taking him so long?" Mark muttered as you both waited outside for Yuta. It was 11:11 PM, Mark couldn't sleep and wanted to buy something to drink at the hotel's café.

By chance, you couldn't sleep either and didn't mind the idea. Mark sighed as he read the message on his phone, "Yuta canceled." You nodded, "Then it's just the two of us. Come on, before they close the café," you called out and started walking ahead.

You had never been alone with Mark before. It felt odd to be with him without Johnny and Yuta around. You got a cup of cappuccino while Mark ordered a cup of black coffee. "You know that's going to keep you up even longer, right?" you suggested. Mark shrugged, "I can't sleep anyway," he clarified. You both thanked the waiter. "Why not? Are you suffering from insomnia?" you asked. "I'm not sure. Since college, I haven't been able to sleep properly."

Mark looked at you for a long moment, "It's more than just insomnia. Sometimes... sometimes my mind is just too loud. Too many thoughts, too many worries keeping me awake at night." His voice was softer, more reflective.

You took a sip of your cappuccino, letting the warmth spread within you as you studied Mark. The contrast to the Mark you knew was striking. The ever-cheerful and carefree boy in front of you suddenly seemed vulnerable, almost fragile. "I never got the impression that something was weighing on you so heavily," you said gently.

Mark forced a small smile, more sad than joyful. "Well, guess, I'm good at hiding it."

You pondered over Mark's words, wondering what could be troubling him so deeply. Just as you were about to delve deeper into your thoughts, Mark broke the silence.

"You know what's weird? I read somewhere that if you can't sleep, it means…um… you're awake in someone else's dreams. Well… Maybe someone is constantly dreaming about me, and that's… y’know… why I can't sleep. Imagine it's a total stranger taking me on weird adventures in their dreams," Mark said with a crooked grin.

For a moment, you couldn't believe he had just said that. You stared at him, unsure whether to laugh or shake your head.

"Are you serious?" you couldn't help but ask, trying to suppress your grin. "So you're saying, somewhere out there, someone dreams about you every night, taking you on imaginary adventures, and that's why you can't sleep?"

Mark's smile widened as he realized how absurd his statement must have sounded. "Well, when you put it like that, it sounds pretty crazy, right? But…. who knows, maybe it's true.", his voice cracked.

Both of you burst into liberating laughter. What was going through his head to come up with such nonsense?

You didn't know why, but you liked his quirky ways. It was like a breath of fresh air to talk to someone who could freely express his thoughts without worrying about how they might come across.

The next day, a trip to Regent's Park, one of London's Royal Parks, was on the agenda. You were quite excited to visit this place known for its beautiful gardens, expansive green spaces, and sports facilities. You, Karina, Johnny, and Mark naturally formed a group as usual.

The day was sunny and warm, perfect for an outing. Mark was unusually energetic and seemed to particularly enjoy the sunny day today. He was almost hopping with excitement and made charming comments about everything encountered on his way.

"Yo, see that dog over there? We had one like that at home when I was a kid. They're known to be brave. Kind of crazy, because they don't look brave... Reminds me a bit of myself," Mark said, pointing to a dachshund chasing a squirrel.

"Dude, if you're already identifying with animals, what kind of bird would you be then? A parrot does not sound bad, right?" Johnny teased.

During your walk through Regent's Park, you encountered a particularly lively squirrel that approached you curiously. Mark looked fascinated and began talking to the little creature,

"Hey buddy, what's up? Come here, buddy," as if it would understand him. He didn't notice that he started to dance with his feet unconsciously while his entire focus was on the squirrel.

You watched him from behind and couldn't help but smile when you noticed Mark's unconscious foot movements. You quietly pointed it out to the others – Johnny and Karina – who also couldn't help but giggle as they watched him.

While Mark was still occupied with the squirrel, you carefully stepped closer behind him, directly into his field of vision, and began to mimic his foot movements.

When Mark turned around and saw you directly in front of him, imitating him with a charming smile, he burst into a heartfelt laughter, delighted and surprised by your attention.

However, the sudden closeness and your smile made him momentarily nervous, which he hid behind a smile. Despite the nervousness that arose within him, he wasn't overwhelmed by it; he shook his head laughing and continued on.

During the days in London, your bond with Mark deepened increasingly.

It seemed as if you were magnetically drawn to each other, whether you were participating in a guided tour through London's historic quarters, relaxing in one of its numerous parks, or exploring the local cuisine in small, hidden restaurants.

It had almost become a matter of course that you always sat next to each other; your places were always side by side.

During group meals, you instinctively sought out Mark's proximity. You shared dishes, tasted from each other's plates, and exchanged glances and smiles that was sus to others.

You believed you had found a good male friend who understood you just as well as Karina did, maybe even more. And you had never had a male friend before, so the whole friendship thing with Mark was entirely new to you.

Jonas texted and called you regularly to ask how you were doing and what new things you had seen or learned. He mostly talked about his day-to-day life but also listened to you now and then. You decided not to tell him about Mark, unsure how Jonas would take the news that you got along so well with another man. Besides, it was unclear when you would see Mark again after the 100-day trip was over.

In the evenings, when the group settled into cozy pubs to wind down the day, you and Mark often found yourselves in deep, personal conversations.

The topic unexpectedly turned to fairy tales, perhaps inspired by the historical settings of London you had explored earlier. Mark, with a thoughtful look in his eyes, leaned back and played with the rim of his glass.

"You know," he began, choosing his words carefully, "fairy tales have this incredible way of fascinating us, no matter how old we are. They speak of courage, adventure, and, of course, love. But I…um.. often wonder, like… how much of that is really transferable to our real lives."

You nodded as you absorbed his words. "Fairy tales have always fascinated me. The romance, the heroics, the happy endings... but somehow, they seem too good to be true. Real life is more complicated, unpredictable."

There was a brief pause as both of you took a sip of your drinks, contemplative about what had been said.

Then, with a crooked smile you had come to like about Mark because it always brought a certain lightness, he posed an unexpected question.

"Do you believe in the prince on a white horse?" His voice was gentle, almost cautious, as if he didn't want to stir your innermost feelings.

You paused for a moment, taken aback by the directness of the question.

"I'd like to believe that there's such a thing as a 'prince,' yes. But not in the literal sense. More like someone who's there for you, who understands and accepts you as you are. Someone you can team up with."

Mark's eyes lit up as he heard your words, and it seemed like he had wanted to hear exactly that. But then, almost hesitantly, he asked another question that changed the atmosphere.

"Have you ever thought that there could be such a 'prince' in your life, or might be?" His voice was softer now, almost whispering, as if he was intruding too closely.

This question caught you off guard, and for a moment, you felt as if the ground beneath you was giving way. Your heartbeat quickened, and you felt a knot forming in your stomach. Thoughts swirled through your head��Jonas, your engagement, the expectations, and the uncertain future.

You tried to keep your emotions in check. Your gaze lowered, and you nervously played with the rim of your own glass. The silence between you was oppressive.

Finally, with a voice quieter than intended, you shook your head. "I... I'm not sure." Your words were a whisper, almost lost in the noise of the pub. "I thought I might be certain... but now, I'm not so sure, to be honest."

Mark's expression shifted from curious to contemplative, perhaps even concerned. He leaned in closer, his presence strangely comforting. "It's okay not to know everything," he said softly, finishing the alcohol in his glass in one gulp.

The days in London flew by, and with each passing day, the bond between you two grew stronger, woven from shared experiences, shared laughter, and quiet moments of closeness.

On the evening after another eventful day in London, the group gathered in a cozy cabin, somewhat secluded, to wind down the evening. The atmosphere was lively, with music, laughter, and the sound of glasses clinking. You played various games, from card games to truth or dare, and everyone seemed to enjoy the moment to the fullest.

Mark, in the midst of one of the games, suddenly became the center of a challenging task that led him to sing spontaneously. His voice, surprisingly soft and emotional, filled the room, and his eyes half-closed as he immersed himself in the song.

In that moment, as you saw him like this - vulnerable, authentic, and completely in his element - you felt your heart beat faster for the first time. It was as if the world around you fell silent for a moment, and all that remained was the melody of his voice. An unfamiliar twinge shot through your stomach.

Without really understanding why, you suddenly felt the urge to leave the room, to escape the loud voices and laughter. You quietly retreated to your room and sat on your bed, gazing out the window into the night sky. The stars twinkled as if they were harboring a secret that was simmering inside you.

Your grasp on your phone, an attempt to cling to the familiar, led you through the gallery of shared moments with Jonas. Yet, as you scrolled through the photos, you felt a strange distance from these memories, as if they were part of another life. The images no longer seemed capable of filling the emerging void that Mark's unexpected performance had left in you.

On the last evening of your stay in London, the group decided to come together once more to drink, play, and fittingly conclude the time you had spent together. The mood was lively and cheerful, a perfect ending to the unforgettable days you had shared.

During the evening, as music played and the group was in high spirits, the idea suddenly came up that everyone should take a turn dancing. Naturally, you were chosen.

At first, you hesitated, as you weren't usually one to take center stage. But the others, led by Karina, cheered you on with shouts and encouraging calls. Even Mark's expression, full of anticipation and an infectious smile, gave you the final push you needed.

Finally, with a deep breath and a tingling feeling of excitement, you stood up. The song "Nobody Knows" by KISS OF LIFE was playing. Thankfully, you could dance the choreography from start to end and were even quite good at it, having danced extensively in your past. You began to dance, initially with hesitation, but with every move, you became more confident. Your movements started to become more sensual and alluring.

Mark, who had been cheerful and boisterous until now, felt as if he had been struck by the sight. Each of your fluid movements enchanted him, making his heart race. A dry feeling spread in his throat as he tried to hide his reaction from the others. The way you moved to the music was mesmerizing, and he found it increasingly difficult to look away from you and your body. He suddenly saw you in a completely different light and was scared of the feelings and desires that had been stirred within him.

As the dance ended, the energy in the room was electrifying. The group stood up, cheering and applauding, impressed by your unexpected performance. Mark, forcing himself back to reality, began to clap slowly, nodding in appreciation while he tried to sort his thoughts and emotions. His heart was still beating faster than usual, evidence of the effect you had on him.

You, now back in your seat, tried to calm your breathing and ignore the rising blush on your cheeks.

Your eyes met Mark's. You noticed that his expression had suddenly changed, and his gaze seemed to penetrate deeply into you. Without knowing why, it sparked an inexplicable warmth within you that you relished. At the same time, you felt proud of yourself for having such an effect on him.

Days 34 to 66 in Vienna

As the group arrived in Vienna, a new chapter of your European adventure began.

The city, with its rich history, magnificent buildings, and cozy coffee houses, provided a perfect backdrop for deepening the bond between you and Mark.

You felt freer in Vienna than ever before. You could be yourself, without restraint, and Mark seemed to appreciate every facet of your personality. It was as if you could unleash your inner child in his presence, without fear of rejection or judgment. Something you hadn't experienced in a long time.

Since meeting Jonas, you had been trying hard to stay on his level, to be mature and not disappoint the image he had built of himself. Vienna unleashed the exact opposite in you. Mark, for his part, just went along with it, his lightness and humor often made you forget there was a world outside your little bubble.

On a rainy evening in Vienna, the group decided to gather in the cozy lobby of their hostel to play games. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, with the gentle pattering of rain on the windows and the dim lighting creating a cozy mood.

Someone suggested playing Twister. The group enthusiastically agreed, and soon the Twister game mat was spread out on the floor, colorful and inviting.

Mark and you were both players in this round, along with a few others from the group.

As the game started, Mark and you quickly found yourselves in precarious positions. Each spin of the wheel added another layer of closeness and intimacy to the game. You felt your cheeks flushing every time you had to bend or stretch, feeling Mark's warm body so close to your own.

Mark's breathing was calm and focused, and despite the humorous and light-hearted atmosphere of the game, there was a certain tension, an electrifying feeling in the air, every time your hands or feet found touchpoints.

In a particularly memorable moment, as Mark tried to place his left hand on green while simultaneously maintaining his balance to avoid falling on you, your eyes met. In that brief, silent exchange, there was an unspoken question, a curiosity, and perhaps even a hint of desire.

Suddenly, Mark stretched out his right leg, positioning you beneath him with his lower part pressing against your abdomen.

The intense impact of his body made your heart pound loudly in your chest as if it were the only sound you could hear over the laughter and cheers of your friends. The warmth of Mark's body, separated only by the thin layer of your clothes, sent a tingling through your entire body that you hadn't known before.

When the game finally ended, amidst general laughter, you felt oddly dizzy, almost as if in a dream. Mark, returning to his usual boisterous self, gave you a broad, irresistible smile that made your heart skip a beat for a moment.

The next day, as the clouds cleared and the sun began to shine over Vienna once again, the group decided on an outdoor game to enjoy the free time.

Dodgeball was the chosen activity. In a nearby park, which offered ample space, two teams were formed. You and Mark naturally ended up on the same team, again.

Mark, proving to be surprisingly agile and skilled, quickly became the central player of your team. With his quick reactions and clever handling of the ball, he managed to eliminate opposing players multiple times.

You noticed how safe you felt when you were near him. Instinctively, you began to position yourself behind him to shield yourself from the incoming balls. Mark quickly seemed to notice this and almost naturally assumed the role of your personal protector. He strategically positioned himself to shield you with his body while still keeping an eye on the game.

Every time a ball flew in your direction, Mark was there to deflect it or catch it skillfully. His protective instinct was impressive, and you couldn't help feeling a bit flattered.

You noticed your teammates and even some opponents chuckling as they saw Mark repeatedly shielding you.

In the shade of the trees, as the group relaxed and talked about the funniest moments of the game, you found a moment to quietly thank Mark.

"Thanks for being my personal bodyguard today," you said with a mischievous smile. Mark returned the smile. "Anytime," he replied, his voice full of unspoken promises.

After the successful day playing dodgeball, the group planned another game for the following day to promote camaraderie and fun among everyone.

This time, they decided on a game of Capture the Flag in a larger park in Vienna, which was perfect for it with its many hiding spots and open areas. The group was divided into two teams again.

During the game, you often found yourself alongside Jaemin, Mark's cousin, who proved to be a skilled strategic planner.

You worked well together, carefully planning your moves and supporting each other in defending your flag as well as attempting to capture the opposing team's flag.

Your collaboration was purely platonic and focused on the game, but from the outside, it could appear differently, especially in moments when you leaned in close to consult or patted each other on the shoulder to congratulate on a successful play.

Mark, who was on the opposing team, noticed the close cooperation between you and Jaemin. Even though he knew it was just a game, he couldn't shake off an uncomfortable feeling.

Watching you laugh and devise plans together, he felt an unexpected pang of jealousy arise within him. The obvious chemistry and shared laughter with Jaemin caught him off guard and awakened a deep-seated insecurity in him.

Days 67 to 99 in Brussels

Upon arriving in Brussels, you sensed a noticeable change in the group's dynamics. The city provided a perfect backdrop for many adventures. Yet, despite the breathtaking surroundings and numerous new experiences, you increasingly felt uncomfortable with the evident changes in the behaviors of Johnny, Yuta, and especially Mark.

During communal meals or while exploring the city, Johnny and Yuta made insinuations and exchanged meaningful glances that obviously concerned Mark and you. It was as if they were hinting at a subtle connection between you and Mark, one you hardly dared to dream of yourself.

The situation came to a head one evening when the group gathered in one of the cozy Brussels cafes to play "Truth or Dare."

The mood was relaxed, and the game seemed a welcome distraction from the day's exhaustive explorations. When it was Mark's turn, he chose "Truth" after a brief hesitation.

A tense silence fell over the group as Johnny posed the question: "Mark, who in this group do you feel most connected to?" All eyes were on Mark, and you felt your heart skip a beat.

Deep down, despite knowing about your engagement and the inappropriateness of such feelings, you hoped he might mention your name.

Mark was silent for a moment, his gaze sweeping over the faces of those present, and it was obvious he was wrestling with himself. Finally, after a deep breath, he mentioned the name of another female participant, Giselle. His answer came as a surprise and raised a few eyebrows in the group.

Johnny and Yuta couldn't suppress a giggle, as if amused by Mark's attempt to conceal his true feelings.

Their reaction only added to your confusion and discomfort. Deep down, you felt hurt, even though you knew you had no right to.

After all, you were engaged, and any hope for something more between you and Mark was nothing but an illusion.

Despite the sharp disappointment that threatened to overwhelm you, you put on your best smile and continued to participate in the game as if nothing had happened.

It's incredible how much change 50 days have stirred within you. You hardly recognized yourself anymore.

The following days in Brussels were marked by a subtle distance you built up towards Mark.

Although you remained part of the group activities and Mark was always friendly and accommodating, you couldn't help but wonder what was really going on behind his facade.

Was his answer in the game a conscious decision to hide his true feelings, or did it actually reflect his sentiments?

You increasingly spent time with other group members to fill the growing void left by Mark's distant behavior.

Among these was Jaehyun, a likable and charismatic participant who proved to be pleasant company. Your joint outings and conversations offered you some comfort and distracted you from the simmering emotions.

Mark, observing the growing closeness between Jaehyun and you with increasing unease, found himself in a whirlpool of conflicting feelings.

His eyes betrayed a mix of irritation and concern every time he saw you laughing or discussing together. You, unable to ignore Mark's glances, felt a growing restlessness in your heart.

You missed the ease and depth of your earlier interactions and longed to bridge the gap.

Determined to break the silence and bridge the unexplainable distance, you summoned the courage one night to call Mark to your room.

With trembling hands and a heart full of hope, you typed a message to him: "Can you please come to my room? I need to see you."

After sending the message, you lay awake, clutching your phone tightly, staring at the screen, half expecting, half fearing his response or the lack thereof.

Minutes passed like hours, and a part of you started to believe he would ignore your request, that the gap between you had grown too wide.

But then, you heard a soft knock at your door. Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you hardly dared to breathe.

With hesitant steps, you approached the door and opened it to find Mark standing there.

You and Mark sat next to each other in silence on your bed. Despite the tension between you, you felt a deep longing to be even closer to Mark than mere physical proximity allowed.

Your thoughts were running in circles, caught between what was wrong and what you secretly desired.

Mark broke the silence, his voice fragile and hesitant. "You know, sometimes, when I see or think about you, thoughts come to my mind... thoughts that feel wrong."

His words hung heavily in the air, laden with the fear of the consequences of his confession.

Your heart pounded in your chest, your nervousness mixed with an unexplainable excitement.

You turned your head to him, your eyes seeking his, as you quietly asked, "What kind of thoughts?"

Mark's gaze met yours, filled with an intensity that shook you to the core. "Instinctive ones... the kind of thoughts that one should think twice, if not three times, before indulging," he confessed.

You felt the air around you start to vibrate. It was clear to you, what he was trying to say.

With a lowered gaze, barely audible, you whispered, "And what if I... would like it, when you just do?"

Mark was taken aback from your response, his "What?" was a whisper, fearful he might have misunderstood you.

You swallowed hard, your throat felt dry, your eyes fixated on a point at the window behind Mark, "I… I want to experience something new, Mark. Something... special?." you confessed.

Your eyes didn't move away from the point you were fixated on.

Mark searched your face for certainty but was even more confused than in the beginning, he frowned, "I need more words, y/n. What… what do you want to experience? Tell me."

"I… I don't know. Kinda emotional, physical intimacy, I guess. I want someone who accepts me as I am. Someone I don't have to pretend with to be someone, who isn't me. Does it make sense? I... I just want to let go and... feel, without thinking about whether it's right or wrong."

"Do you want it now?"

"What do you mean?" you asked, confused. You were disconnected from reality for a moment, sharing your deepest desires with him, that you totally forgot, that he was actually listening to you.

Mark shifted his position on your bed to face you fully. "I mean… what if I can give you the emotional… and…" he cleared his throat, and even in the evening light, you could see a hint of pink on his cheeks. "…the physical intimacy. Here and now."

"Here and now?" Your eyes widened.

"I can give you all of that if you want it. I mean… I'd like to… very much."

"So you're willing to accept me as I am?"

"Yes."

"Trust me completely?"

"Exactly."

"Not judge me for my weird choices?"

"Of course not."

You pondered for a while.

"If that's the case… then… would you like to… kiss me?"

Mark chuckled, "i’m dying to, actually."

He slid his hand to the back of your neck, before leaning in, while you looked down at his lips.

Your eyes closed right before the small gap between you two closed. Mark sighed as though he had just sunk into a hot bath after a long day.

You dropped your hands to his thigh, feeling the solid muscle below his denim. Marks free hand came to rest on your hip, his fingers dripping under your shirt to graze your bare skin.

The contact made you shiver slightly before he slid one of your hands up his thigh. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as you felt him shiver too.

You fell back onto your bed, pulling Mark with you. Your mouths opened simultaneously.

Mark groaned as his tongue slipped into your mouth. His grip on your hip thightened while his other hand pushed up into her hair.

He pulled gently your hair, making you moan as your kiss broke.

Mark used this opportunity to kiss your buttom lip, then your cheek, down your jaw and setlling into your neck, where he left opened mouthed kisses, allowing his hand to glide further up under your shirt until his fingers were resting underneath your bra.

„Mark“, you whispered and he mumbled into your neck, the vibrations pulling a soft moan from you.

„Do you... want to have sex with me?“

Mark pulled away from your neck and pulled his hand out from under your shirt, both of his hands were now cupping your face.

He gently pecked your nose, revelling in the little giggle you made before leaning his forehead against yours.

„You remember, when you had danced in Vienna? Then I knew, I wanted to have sex with you, but was too afraid, since I thought, you would reject me."

You remembered that day. Even then, it was clear to you that there was more between you and Mark, but you were too afraid to dig further and admit to yourself that you were attracted to him.

"Jesus, I want to give you everything you need, y/n.“

"What about you? Why don't you tell me what you need?", you said while your voice trembled. You couldn't believe you were in this situation, in Brussels, in a hotel room, with Mark Lee.

You felt inwardly relieved that you had insisted on staying alone in a room from the beginning. Without Karina or another roommate. Otherwise it would be very difficult to have him on your bed right now.

„You. I need you.“ Mark sucked the side of your neck lightly. Your lips lifted at the gesture, though your eyes remained shut. „Do you like this?“ he asked.

„Mmm…“ you hummed.

Mark moved his mouth to the opposite side of your throat. „I want to give you pleasure, y/n. I wish to make you cum today, does it sound good?“, he asked to reassure.

You swallowed at his choice of words. The abrupt change in him surprised you a bit, but at the same time, you were excited about what was about to happen.

You coaxed hum down with a twitch of your fingers, bringing his mouth to yours. The kiss was softer this time.

Your mouths barely parted and lips slowly caressed each other, and only parted for the cruel necessity of verbal communication.

„How can I say no to that?“, you said, stroking his face. „But, please… be gentle. Take your time.“ You shyly remarked.

„Gentle. I got you.“ Mark confirmed. Then, he pulled away.

You made a small noise of protest, but that didn't stop him.

Mark grasped your breasts and groped you tenderly, rolling the flesh within his palms and brushing your erect nipples with his thumbs.

You gasped at his light touches and he could smell sweetness of your cunt as you started to become wet.

With mooth, broad sweeps of his hands, he moved down your belly as he inched lower and lower. He kneeled between your legs, parting them, so he could rub circles into the insides of your thighs.

Above him, your breath quickened.

„May I-„

„Just do as you like.“ You stated.

Mark kept his approach gentle and slow as you wished, lapping at the outer folds, his tongue only incidentally dipping inside your clit.

You groaned and tried to close your knees around his head but he kept them still, forcing them back down on the mattress.

He kissed at the tantalizing mound until your muscles once again unwinded; then he resumed, this time licking into the dripping source of your torment.

When he focused his attention on throbbing bud at the apex of your inner folds, passing the flat of his tongue over it again and again, your hands weaved into his hair and begin to tug it.

He ignored it at first but then he heard a breathless, “Mark,” which made him lift his head immediately.

You gathered his face up in your palms, thumbing away at your juices on his chin.

Your eyes became dark and heady, pupils blown wide and skin hot as fire.

Mark wiped the liquid out and hovered back on you so that you were face to face.

„Mark,“ you moaned into his mouth as he kissed you hungrily while his hands were busy playing with your breasts.

„Do you want to try out a certain position?“ he whispered in your ear before nipping at that turn on spot just below your ear. Earning another moan from you before you nodded your head enthusiastically.

„Can I help choose one?“

„Of course“ Mark assured you as he pulled out his shirt and placed it out on the floor in front of you.

„Can we do this position, where…“ you tried to form a sentence, but were too taken aback from the sensation the situation gave you.

„What position?“ Mark queried as he climbed back onto the bed with you, now both only in your underwears, before kissing your neck tenderly.

„I want to try that…um.. you know which one.“ you were too try to speak it out.

„No, I don’t, tell me baby,“ Marks begged as he kissed you again just under your ear before returning his kisses to your neck as he lied on top of you.

He could guess which position you wanted but just wanted to hear the words roll off your tongue and out your mouth first.

„The… doggy… style one,“ you murmured, making Mark grin as he allowed his hand to snake back up your body.

He gently started to kiss down your neck, over your collar bone then down the valley in-between your breasts bevor kissing over your stomach.

„Do you want to take off my boxers or shall I?“ he asked before he kissed the top of your thigh.

„I want to do it,“ you breathed out as you sit up and him wathching you how your hands slowly slide down the hem of his grey boxer shorts until his hard member appeared.

„Arch your back a bit,“ Mark murmurrd into your ear before you could admire his member any longer.

You did as told and wihtin the next second he had your bra unclasped and thrown on the floor with the rest of your clothes.

„Are you sure you want to try this position?“ he confirmed with you and you nodded as you sit up and allowed him to put you in the position.

Mark got you to kneel in front of him with your back to his, and your legs opened enough for him to enter you.

„Ready?“ Mark asked to make sure, you were prepared.

„Just fucking do it already, Mark.“ you plead unpatiently.

Mark thrusted into you, revelling in the wetness and warmth of your dripping pussy.

After enjoying the sensation for a few moments, Mark beginned to pump in and out of you until you both found a speed that you could enjoy.

Marks cock was definitely enjoying itself as it slided into your wet folds and proded your g-spot every time.

„Oh, Mark, oh… god-“ you moaned out as you started to move back against him, making him groan in response.

„Ah- fuck, you’re doing so well, baby,“ Mark groaned but before you could answer, he thrusted into you with some force making you shout out in pleasure.

Just as he felt, you were beginning to get close to your release; he stopped moving in you.

Before you could protest, he had you lying on your back on the bed. All that before he plunged his throbbing cock back into you.

„Sorry, darlin', I want to see you climax. I want to see your face when you go over the edge“, he murmured in your ear before nipping at your neck.

You easily adjustee to the new position as you began to meet hum thrust for thrust, as well as rocking against him.

With each thrust, Mark went deeper and deeper into you until you both meet your end.

Mark kept moving in and out of you until you have both come down from your highs.

Once that has happended, he moved so he was laid down next to you on your side. He started to softly draw random patterns on your stomach as you both tried to catch your breaths back.

„Dude, that was…“, he to form the correct words, but there were just so many that he couldn’t think of the perfect ones to say.

„Explosive? Mind Blowing?“ you filled in, making him chuckle as he rolled you on top of him before connecting his lips to yours.

„Gosh, am I fucking glad, that I listened to the boys and agreed to this trip. Where else would I have met you instead?“ Mark mumbleed as he looks at you with lovely eyes.

You forced a smile to his words. Calm and worried at the same time. Calm because you will by no means regret that you have this thing with Mark, and worried because you will probably hurt him if he found out about Jonas.

So for tonight, you decided to enjoy his presence next to you and dive into a worryless sleep. At least, that was an important motto, you got from Mark.

To your surprise, he was also be able to sleep safe and sound next to you, showing no signs of insomnia. Guess, someone out there forgot about taking Mark on an adventure that night - while you had your best, you could ever wish for.

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