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yeostars · 2 days

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ᝰ.ᐟ꩜ Down bad, but at what cost?

ʬʬ yeostars 2024™

•pairing- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ kang yeosang x y/n •genre- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ angst.ᐟ fluff.ᐟ a few bits of slice of life here and there. •synopsis- kang yeosang. your sworn academic rival, your enemy, your nemesis. he's got everything: from outstanding looks, that smart sexy brain of his, and....a perfect personality. well, is it actually perfect? Yeosang, the perfect kang yeosang, who appears to be the politest, nicest, most well mannered gentleman on the outside....what does he hide behind that facade of his? And why does he only show his true colours to you, his sworn enemy? And why.... god forbid why, do you have to fall for him? you, y/n, not anything less than him; you're just as a perfect role model student and an academic topper like him. Together, you would make the perfect "power couple" a title the entire school has given to the both of you. But it's never supposed to be anything like that. You're not supposed to get involved with yeosang in such a way.... he's your rival, and that's it. To hell with this growing attraction towards your rival, but what if, just what if....yeosang feels the same towards you.. You're down bad for kang yeosang.....but at what cost? •warnings- mentions of family conflict, nothing more except for angst/conflicts in some parts. •author's note- I've alwaysss wanted to write a enemies/rivals to lovers story featuring yeosang aka my bias, and seems like I got hold of the perfect plot in mind for the same. To my fellow enemies to lovers enthusiasts and yeodongies, this one is for y'all. !! In one of the ending scenes, there's inspo taken from the English translation of the song lyrics "Kaise Hua" :) pls ignore the typos, i don't proofread and i just realised, while reviewing this fic after posting that i made quite a few typos at the end, sorry for thatt 😭😭 Notes, reblogs, comments, follows & shares are always immensely appreciated <3. Enjoy reading ❤️

Amidst the soft rustling of the pages and the gentle hum of the ceiling fans, you peeked out of the nearby glass window, suddenly admiring how pretty the trees and clouds looked like. You could've sworn today was a good day indeed. You continued skimming through your mathematics textbook and grabbed your pen to note down a formula you had a hard time understanding the concept of.

And ofcourse, to make your day worse (or better, but you would never admit that) he had to step into the library. Just the perfect timing to get blessed by your presence, kang yeosang.

So much to ask for a normal, peaceful day..

You didn't even look up to see him, or perhaps even acknowledge his presence, when he sat opposite your direction, just a few chairs away. You didn't need to acknowledge his presence. It wasn't like he was your friend, that was your sworn enemy, your academic rival.

He quietly sat down, placing his designer school bag at a chair alongside the one where he was sitting, and placed a textbook on the table, flipping a few pages. Okay, maybe you were staring at him, but he didn't need to know that. You had the ability to stare at someone without them knowing that you were staring at them. That's what you've done all this time, to have a long, good, piercing stare at yeosang, and notice just everything about him. ... without him knowing that you're so interested in him and everything he does.

You didn't know why the tension in the room suddenly seemed...... intense. It was all good a few minutes ago, when you were peacefully studying alone. It's peaceful now, too, ofcourse. Yeosang was, by no means, a loud person. The only noise in the room was that of the ceiling fans, and the soft rustle of the book pages. Just like before.

But now, you were alone in the library halls with your rival. Nothing serious, right? You could get your studying done in a few and leave. No biggie. There was no need to get nervous around him.

But the problem was, that well, you did feel nervous around him. So nervous that your hands started sweating and your grip on the pen you were holding, tightened. And he-kang yeosang, probably doesn't give a single shit. Why would he? He's here to get studying done like you, too, nothing else.

You clicked your tongue, repeatedly clicking your pen without even realising it, as you continued to just stare at the formula you just noted down in your notebook.

Why was it so hard to understand this one? You tried to wrap your head around this formula for quite a few minutes, now, even after yeosang joined you in the library. And you still couldn't understand how to apply this formula in the sum you were supposed to solve. Saying that you were losing your mind right now was a understatement. Maybe you should've paid more attention during maths lecture, but even if you did, you knew that there was still a possibility that you would have a hard time with it.

Because, really, mathematics just wasn't your cup of tea.

"What could possibly be a subject that has you loosing your absolute shit, y/n?" You heard a voice, loud and clear, and you almost wished you didn't have the ability to hear.

Because you knew where this was going.

"Ah, ofcourse - it's mathematics. The only subject that my beloved rival can't beat me in." Yeosang said, chuckling softly.

You raised your head, now making direct eye contact him, and ofcourse, he had his usual smirk plastered on that perfect freaking face.

He looked.....just as perfect as always. You hated to admit it but yeosang was definitely the most good-looking guy you had ever seen in your life. A "literal greek god" "a living statue" were the names given to him by the entire school- and you couldn't disagree.

He raised an eyebrow as you realised that you were mindlessly staring at the collar of his shirt, and your cheeks immediately flushed, as you moved your gaze back to your books.

"S-shut up, yeosang." You replied. Those two words, "shut up" are probably the only words that you say to yeosang. And it has him smirking even wider, every time.

"Aw, c'mon, I bet you need my help with whatever sum you're stuck with, right there." He said, trying to get a better look at your notebook from where he was sitting. But it didn't help much because he was kinda far away from you.

He was correct, you did need his help. Kang yeosang, the straight A's student in every subject including mathematics, your weakest spot. You got A's in mathematics, too, but not always. The "B" grade on your result sheet alongside mathamatics was getting quite common in the past years, and it never failed to ruin you.

But you weren't going to take his help. No, never. You would walk a thousand miles at the doorstep of your cranky mathamatics professor and ask for his help, but asking Yeosang for helping you? Not possible. You both never asked the latter for any help in a subject before. If yeosang did help you in solving your doubt, it would definitely be the first time he's ever helped you. You would get to know how your rival grasps a particular concept and how he tutors someone.... and you were dying to know this.

"I AM struggling with a concept here, but I don't need your help. I'm sure I'll get it soon if I connect some dots." You replied, almost talking to yourself. Liar. This shitty formula was getting over your head and there was no way you'd understand it by yourself now.

Yeosang scowled, suddenly got up from his seat and walked towards you. Your heartbeat, your stupid heartbeat quickened, as he stood alongside where you were sitting, resting his hand against your textbook. After a quick glance at your books, he looked at you.

"Don't tell me you're struggling with THIS formula. It was literally just taught to us, like last week." He said, and the fact that he was so close to you right now, his words made even more impact. Stupid, stupid girl. He was right. You should'nt be struggling with a formula that was just recently taught to you.

Everyone has their own weaknesses, right? Maths was yours, obviously. But it was bitter to admit that in front of kang yeosang, the so called mathamatics genius.

"So what? If you're just gonna tease me on this, leave. I'll ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, he'll explain me better than you will." You replied coldly, a small pout forming on your lips, as you still stared at the books in front of you, not daring to look at yeosang.

"Well, good for you, I'm here instead. Perhaps i could waste a few minutes of mine teaching you this." He said, smirking yet again.

"I TOLD you I will ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, no thanks-"

"So are you stuck on how to use this formula in this sum or you didn't even get the basic understanding of this formula?" Yeosang asked, not even letting you finish your sentence, as he pulled out the chair alongside yours and sat besides you.

Well, you guess, you didn't really have a choice now.

"I just don't get how you apply this formula to a sum, like this example, stated right here...." You said, pointing towards a section in your textbook. Yeosang leaned in closer, listening to you carefully, and you could've sworn your heart was about to burst right then and there. He was leaning in to get a better look at your textbook and not leaning TOWARDS YOU, y/n. Get that inside your head.

"Hmm. Got it. So basically, you...." Yeosang started, and somehow, his voice was gentler as he started explaining the concept to you. It always baffled you how yeosang maintained his two-faced personality. Not in a negative way, really. But that was just one of the many things you noticed about him.

He always acted so polite, so gentle, so kind and appeared so well mannered with everyone. You never even saw him teasing someone playfully. He acted so unlike all the other rowdy boys in your school....It was like he somehow has some reputation to uphold.

And here, with you, the same kang yeosang that appeared as the kindest, most innocent soul- never missed an opportunity to tease you. The unending smirks plastered on his face on your every interaction with him, the unending banters on every possible topic, the unending teasing when you got even ONE mark less than him on a test, the unending playfulness whenever he was with you.

You don't even know when it all started, the fact that yeosang treated you differently. You weren't even sure if that was his true personality. You wanted to very badly, believe that it was. It had to be, right? Somehow it felt like he revealed his true colours to you, every time you guys shared a moment together.

"And that's how you do it. Common, solve a sum in front of me. I want to see if you understood what I just explained." He said, and you brought yourself back to reality. Oh, right. The freaking formula. So bossy, you thought. Why did you have to solve the sum in his presence? It wasn't like this was a test or that he was your tutor.

You complied, regardless, because well, he surely did help you for this one. You picked up your pen and started solving the sum according to that formula, all while yeosang had his gaze fixated on you solving the sum.

Fuck, if he's gonna stare at me like that, I might as well go to square one wherein i didn't understand a single thing.

You were nervous about making even a single mistake or appearing dumb in front of him. You continued solving, his explanation ringing in your head and voilà, you reached the conclusion. YOU SOLVED THE FREAKING SUM AND UNDERSTOOD THAT FORMULA!!!

You gaped at the notebook in front of you, not believing that you actually did it. You looked at yeosang and couldn't help but notice the small smile playing on his lips, almost as if he's proud.

"Thanks a lot....yeosang. That saved me lots of headaches, to be honest." He really was your lifesaver that day.

"Anytime. If rivals don't help each other, then who will?" He said, a genuine smile on his face. Witnessing that smile made your heart flutter. Damn, he looked good when he was genuinely smiling. He also looked hot when he's smirked every time. Fuck, he looked attractive all the time, and you should NOT be acknowledging or admitting that fact.

"Did you.....just replace friends with rivals in that phrase?" You said, laughing. You couldn't believe this man.

"Yeah, so what? We're rivals, after all, aren't we?" Yeosang replied, amused by the fact that he made you laugh.

"That's true. Think about it, this might be the very first time I've ever thanked you for something...you haven't really done something that's worth me thanking you." You said, and suddenly the air between the both of you felt.... lighter. Free of some sort of tension that was always there between the both of you. It was almost as if the both of you were friends, instead of rivals, having your casual banters..

"well, be grateful for that, i guess? You owe me one for today, by the way." He said, his tone a little manipulative. Well, here we're back to the original kang yeosang, you thought.

"Sure, if you need some sorta help regarding science, hit me up, although I doubt you that you will." You said, and immediately regretted the last words.

You basically admitted that you think he's a genius.

"And why do you think I won't need your help in science? That's the only subject that you're.....kinda....good at. And better than me, I guess." He admitted, sheepishly running his palms across the back of his neck.

"Yeah well, just because. If you do need some help with that though, don't hesitate to ask me, I'd be happy to teach my...rival. to return your favour, ofcourse." You said, closing all your books and packing then in your bag. Yeosang hummed at your words, getting up and returning to his original seat, as he tried to get back at what he was studying, not questioning the fact that you were already leaving.

You spared him one last glance as you exited the library, scrolling through your phone, totally not trying to think about how today's events with yeosang had your stomach swooning.

Another boring day at school. Currently, it was the third lecture and the history professor was late.....yet again. As you spinned the pen on your hand mindlessly, you thought about what menu would be served at the cafeteria today. Yesterday, it was something you didn't quite like much. You kept manifesting in your mind that they serve your favourite, katsu curry today.

Your boredom and mindless spacing came to an halt as the class intercom cackled to life. The usual "mic check" continued for the first few seconds, and all the students of your class suddenly stopped what they were doing, only to listen to the announcement that was to be made.

You straightened up, and didn't really bother listening unless you heard your name being called out on the intercom speakers. your name. along with kang yeosang's name. the actual hell?!?!

"Dear students, attention please. This is urgent. Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately. I repeat, Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately."

You opened your eyes wide, and you almost didn't believe your ears and the announcement, until you saw all your classmates staring at you....and yeosang, curious gazes and gossips spreading everywhere. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, and cocked your head back to the seats behind to see yeosang, who seemed just as confused as you were.

He met your eyes, as you both shared a bewildered look together. As he rose from his seat, agonizingly slowly, you did the same, following him outside your classroom.

"Surely I didn't do anything that's worth getting detention? Have you, y/n?" Yeosang asked, as casually as possible. As if the fact that the both of them were called together, alone, to the main halls was nothing surprising to him.

And here, you were trying to catch your breath, thinking of all possibilities as to WHY you, along with yeosang- your academic rival of all people, were called together, an announcement that was heard by the entire school.

"Ofcourse i didn't. For your information, I'm a role model student, and didn't even receive a single scolding by any teachers in my entire life- let alone a detention." You huffed, cursing mentally at yeosang for even thinking of you doing something worth of getting detention.

"So am i, smartass. Well then, since we're both the goodie two shoes, WHAT possibly could've been so urgent that they called the both of us...together?" Yeosang asked, sparing you a quick glance as the both of you continued to walk side by side, on your way to the main hall.

"How in the world would i know? I'm just as clueless as you. Why would they even need the both of us at the same time?" You asked, shrugging. At the shrug, you kinda gave off the impression that you didn't like....all this. The fact that you were summoned along with your dear rival. But that wasn't true in the slightest. More than anything, you craved to be together with yeosang, you treasured each moment you were together, nowadays. Even though it wasn't often.

You tend to ignore asking yourself, why do you even feel this way. Perhaps since the both of you aren't really together all the time, except for insulting each other, your playful banters and teasing from time to time, you actually looked forward to just...being with him. Being in his presence. Him giving you attention. Even though it was literally just him teasing the hell outta you and giving you the cold shoulder sometimes (you did too).

Maybe, just maybe, yeosang felt the same- enjoying all the time you both spent together, even though it wasn't much. Why would he even tease you in the first place if he didn't? You remember, something your mum used to say during your childhood: the people who tease you, and pretend to hate you, actually like you, because they want your attention.

Oh, how badly you wanted to believe your mom's words.

"Are you getting inside the lift or...?" Yeosang said, pressing a button to widen the lift doors as they were just about to close. You snapped out of your overthinking, your overthinking about the fact that every single word you say or the action that you do- affects yeosang- kang yeosang in some way.

"Oh, shoot. Sorry." You said sheepishly, getting alongside Yeosang in the lift.

As you both reached the main hall, you were greeted by your school's vice principal and your homeroom teacher, almost as if waiting for the both of you to arrive. As you and yeosang bowed down to greet them, they exchanged quick glances with each other, and then led the both of you near the tables at the far away corner of the hall.

The vice principal sat down in one of the chairs, and your homeroom teacher stood alongside the both of you.

"So. I know this might seem surprising because we called the both of you together, but trust me, this isn't anything serious or negative. So stop with those nervous glances because you both are the best disciplined students of our grade, and you know it." Your homeroom teacher, Mr. Jung, assured the both of you, as relief spread through your veins. You could even feel yeosang sighing in relief besides you.

"Mr. Jung, why were the both of us called here, then...?" You asked, your tone inquisitive.

"I'll let you know the reason, students." Said your vice principal, Mrs. Park. All three of you shifted your attention and gazes towards her as she started speaking.

"As you both are already aware, our school has decided to redesign the uniforms for the entire school, ranging from all grades. And well, we got to have our first glance at the finalized, redesigned uniforms last week, and they look amazing. We decided to choose you, y/n, and yeosang, as the models for our new school uniform photoshoot. Basically, you both have to wear and promote the redesigned uniforms and pose together for a little shoot. That's it."

Your hands immediately cupped your mouth, and your eyes widened not believing that you were chosen as a MODEL for your school. ALONG with your rival.

Yeosang let out a soft chuckle, and you realised that he was laughing at your shocked expression.

"May I know why you chose the both of us as models....and not someone else?" Yeosang inquired, now appearing quite bewildered at the situation of being chosen as a model himself.

The both of us. Not just him. He really asked why they chose the both of you as models.

"Ah, well, I won't say that the fact that both of you are the top students not only on academics but also as general role model students didn't tempt me to choose the both of you, but what can I say... you both have extremely good looks. And good body proportions. That's why I thought that the the both of you were the most ideal students for the shoot." Mrs. Park said, a small, appreciative smile on her face.

You blushed immediately at her words. The fact that the VICE PRINCIPAL just admitted that you have extremely good looks and good body proportions... you felt like you were on cloud nine.

"Thank you, ma'am" The both of you said, yes, you actually said "thank you" at the same time with yeosang.

"The pleasure's all mine." She said.

"Well then, the shoot was actually going to take place tomorrow but the photographer checked in with us, and said that today was a ideal day to get the shoot done, as long the models are ready. What do you both think? We'll provide you with the new school uniforms so you can get changed into them and get some light makeup done." Mr. Jung said, quite enthusiastically. Your teacher, your teacher who is probably 35 years older than you, acted quite cute sometimes.

TODAY. PHOTOSHOOT. YEOSANG. WHAT??

As you tried to register the fact that the photoshoot was taking place TODAY, and the fact that you were chosen as a model with yeosang.....

"Also, don't worry about missing the lectures. Like, at all. We'll let all the teachers know that the both of you are occupied with this schedule today." Mr. Jung added, catching the slight expression of worry on your faces.

"Oh, okay. T-thats great. Thank you, Mr. Jung. I think I'm ready to get the shoot done today." You replied, mustering up all your courage. You weren't going to let this opportunity go to waste. Why would you, even? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Hell, you couldn't even believe that there would be a photoshoot of you and yeosang together. Just the both of you. You felt like you were dreaming, for real.

After your response, yeosang also assured the both of them, saying that he was also ready for the shoot taking place today.

well, of course you are ready, kang yeosang. you wouldn't imagine any other response from him, like him saying no for the photoshoot with you. You had some pride of your own, and you'd protect it...

You stepped into the small makeup room backstage of the main hall, immediately walking towards the giant body mirror to check yourself and your new school uniform out. Damn, the new uniform sure did look better than the current uniform that you were wearing. It seemed like a levelled-up version of your school uniform; it consisted of a tailored navy blazer with gold patterns along the edges, adding an overall touch of elegance. Beneath the blazer, you wore a neat, ironed white collared shirt, and a navy blue skirt tucked the shirt perfectly. A notable feature was the gold emblem of your school icon, printed at the edge of your skirt and on the socks you were wearing. Your shiny black boots added a classic touch to your outfit. You looked quite sophisticated and youthful, the exact concept you were going for the photoshoot.

As you sat down on one of the chairs in front of a mirror, a lady, already waiting for your arrival in the room, asked you about which hairstyle you would like to get done. You requested her to do something neat yet mildly fancy, keeping your hair open. As she was working on your hair, the door opened wider, and Yeosang stepped in, looking..... even better than usual. Just when you thought this guy couldn't look any more attractive than he already is.....

You noticed that he was wearing a navy blue blazer just like yours, his crisp, white ironed shirt pleated and tucked in his perfectly ironed trousers. And of course, his hair was styled just right. like always. You hated to admit it but he looked more handsome than usual...

You noticed every single detail of his appearance in less than a few seconds. Hell, who would want their rival to know that they're checking them out?

After checking himself out in the mirror, his hand never left the pocket of his trousers, even as he sat down on a chair alongside yours. Arrogant as always, you thought. But he immediately removed that hand as another lady entered the room, asking Yeosang about his hairstyle. He looked so polite while explaining to her what exactly he wanted, you thought that he just wanted to piss you off half of the time. And then go back to his gentlemanly appearance when you both weren't alone. what a guy.

You were a little too bothered about the fact that yeosang was seated right besides you. and the fact that you were pretty close to each other. AND the fact that you both could see each other in the side mirror in front of you.

And guess what? You did. Just as you looked up in the mirror to check the progress of your hairstyle, you noticed that Yeosang was also checking himself out. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and you could have sworn he smirked a little as he checked you out for a second. You immediately looked away, but you could feel it in your bones, the fact that Yeosang didn't look away like you did. His gaze was burning, burning holes into your skin. You felt exposed in some manner. God, he was literally just staring at you and that made you loose your absolute shit.

Very soon, you both were done with your final look for the photoshoot. You were thankful that it didn't take any longer, or else you were just a shot away from calling in sick for the photoshoot. Yeosang staring at you was to be blamed for that.

As you both entered the room designated for your school uniform photoshoot, you stepped aside for a minute to call your mom and let her know about this precious opportunity. You were quite surprised when she said that she already knew that you were chosen for the photoshoot... even before than you came to know about it. She asked you to do well and pose some pretty poses with yeosang, and murmured a soft "hwaiting" as you thanked her and ended the call.

As you stepped into the middle of the room, where you were supposed to be seated alongside yeosang on the giant sofa and standing alongside him for the other. The photographer greeted the both of you and instructed a few poses. You carefully listened to his recommendations, and so did yeosang; adjusting his posture. This moment suddenly felt surreal to you. You tilted your head slightly and glanced at yeosang, and you would have never believed before if someone told you that you were gonna do a photoshoot together.

But here you were, the bright ceiling lights flashing over you, your beloved rival standing right beside you. You snapped out of your thoughts and gasped internally when yeosang shifted closer towards you. Well, it's not like he did that by his own will. The photographer insisted you shift closer to him, too, and you awkwardly did, and now your shoulders were brushing together. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and you couldn't deny the effect it had on you. You glanced up at him for a second and realised how you were almost the same height as him. So, if he were to hug you from behind, his head would be touching yours. WHAT??? CHOI Y/N, SNAP OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW.

He stared right back at you, and it felt like the world around you had disappeared.... just the both of you in your own little bubble, exchanges of gazes filled with tension and lust and whatnot. As rivals, of course, you were competing in this aspect too- competing of who was going to look away first, because neither of you was backing down from this. The photographer let out a whistle and the both of you broke your eye contact, your gazes now directly at the camera. You could feel his flushed face besides yours...

The photoshoot progressed smoothly, and the photographer was quite pleased with the results. For the very last pose as the photo shoot came to an end, the photographer insisted that you place your elbow against Yeosang's shoulder, adding that it would make you look powerful. You hesitated for a second as you turned your head to look at Yeosang, staring at that gorgeous Adam's apple down his throat. Fuck, was he actually feeling nervous? Just like you? The arrogant, teasing, playful, confident Kang Yeosang that you knew, felt nervous around you for the first time....

You quickly placed your elbow against yeosang's shoulder, as he leaned down a little to support your movement, and you felt your heart beat impeccably faster. Then, both of you fixated your fierce and confident gazes towards the camera, as the bright flash passed your eyes and all the people present in the room started applauding, praising the both of you. That was when you realised, how you and Yeosang were the pride of your school, how you were chosen for this photoshoot together. How the entire school regarded you as the "power duo" or the "power couple", and how that never failed to get you blushing uncontrollably. You wondered how Yeosang felt about that, about al this. Did it affect him just as much as it did to you?

You caught your breath that seemed to be stuck in your throat, as you shifted away from Yeosang, a little breathless. It wasn't like you both had kissed, goddammit, that it has to affect every cell in your body when he was even an inch close to you.

You cracked your knuckles, meeting Yeosang's eyes yet again, as he passed you a small smile. Of course, the smile had to be replaced by a smirk in less than a second because he was with you, after all. He walked closer to you, extending his hand towards you.

"Good job today, rival. I hate to admit it, but i guess we both had quite the.... chemistry, during the photo shoot. Which is UNEXPECTED, since it's the both of us. But yeah, all this today was....nice. Hope we can tolerate each other just like this in the future."

You huffed, passing him the same smile he had flashed you earlier, and gently shook his hand. electricity. you felt yourself shiver internally as your hand touched his. You wanted to pull back but just for an extra second, you felt Yeosang not letting go. As he pulled back, though- your palm still lingered with his touch.

"Good job to you too, rival. I can't believe that we just spent almost an hour together, without not insulting or teasing each other. I guess, we got along well today, too." You teased. Yeosang let out a sarcastic laugh, as the both of you parted ways, an eventful day coming to an..end.

Your photoshoot today with Yeosang sure as hell was going to be imprinted in your mind, your body, and your soul. The atmosphere filled with tension, the never-ending shared glances towards each other filled with lust and dare you say, desire, marked a new chapter into whatever your relationship was. The universe was almost begging the both of you to acknowledge the attraction both of you had towards each other.

Every day, Song Jia always had to be the one pushing your buttons. That girl, your best friend, ALWAYS had to make you more delusional than you already were. Half of the time, even though you knew you where physically attracted to yeosang (even you couldn't deny that) you felt like Jia helped you bring your fantasies come to life. For instance , she always left you alone whenever she saw yeosang making his way towards you- either for teasing you or insulting you, something like that. Your jaw almost fell open when you saw that girl run at the speed of light after passing you a smirk, telling you to go "shoot your shot"

And you didn't know if you wanted to thank her and hug her for that or kick her ass for that....

Like always, she had her arm linked around yours, the both of you staring at the photoshoot pictures with yeosang, that your homeroom teacher mailed you. You both were making your way to the music room, and that girl just would'nt stop hitting your arm with their other hand, grinning cheekily after literally gluing her eyes to your phone screen, observing every little detail.

"Damn y/n, this has the be the biggest shot you've ever shooted in your life.. You get what I mean, right? Can you even imagine that you'd have official photoshoots, with your dear rival that you're secretly head over heels for?!" She said, smirking a little.

"C'mon now, don't put it like that. I'm not head over heels for him. Just a little.... attracted, to him, I guess. Still not a fan of that arrogant ass of his, though." You huffed.

And she practically SQUEALED, no exaggeration, after seeing the very last photoshoot picture, your elbow resting on yeosang's shoulder, your gazes looking quite fierceful and confident towards the camera. You couldn't help but blush, smiling at how perfect that picture was.

"Attagirl!!! That's my y/n. Look at how you both are literally the POWER COUPLE of the school. Start dating already, you know." She said, and slapped her arm lightly, as she let out a fake "owww"

You were walking on the large staircase leading you to the fourth floor, where the music room was. You slipped your phone inside your skirt pocket, your arm still linked with Jia's.

As you were walking further downstairs, you spotted a familiar head ahead you. You could recognise that guy anywhere, no matter what angle of his was facing you.

Kang yeosang, holding up his phone, quite concentrated on whatever he was seeing on his phone screen, while making his way downstairs as well.

Suddenly, a red haired girl bumped into yeosang from behind. Quite a painful bump, you thought, but then you noticed that she was about to have an awful fall down the stairs if she didn't pull herself together.

Ofcourse, she didn't fall. Not really. How would she, when a gentleman in the form of yeosang, was there?

It was as if yeosang's reflexes clicked in, he immediately wrapped his strong arms around that redhead's back, steadying her and preventing her from falling. He didn't let go, his arms still on her shoulder as that girl turned behind to look at him, an apologetic and embarrassed look on her face.

And obviously, concern and worry had to be spread on your rivals face, as he seemed to be inquiring her if she was alright, his voice as polite and calm and sweet, a voice you would have never expected him to pull off if he was talking to you. And his arms were still on her shoulder. You glared at that arm so strongly, it was as if holes would have burned on his skin.

They seemed to be chatting for a good few minutes, passing smiles and chatting with each other. All this time, you seemed to be froze in your place, right while standing halfway through the stairs. And Jia, ofcourse, was still with you, glancing at you and biting her lips, passing you and apologetic look, knowing how witnessing this made you feel.

An obvious pang of jealousy coursed through your veins, as you witnessed the scene unfold after you. You glared at the both of them, not just yeosang, with such intensity, if someone would have looked at you, they would've thought you were gonna pick up a fight for sure.

What even was this feeling? Jealousy? Seriously, you never felt jealous of or for anyone in your life before....and you were obviously feeling jealous..for whom? Yeosang? Your rival? You narrowed your eyes down towards the floor and sighed, pulling Jia along with you, as you marched towards the music room.

During the entire music lecture, you couldn't concentrate on anything going on in the class. It was as if you were sorting your feelings out, and waves of embarrassment and confusion washed over you. You were a foolish, stupid girl. Say, what right did you even have, to feel jealous ? You weren't even dating yeosang or anything, hell, you were his sworn rival. Who feels this way towards their rival? No one. Only you.

To make things even worse, you were out here, imagining what it would be like if you were in that redheads place. What it would be like if it was you who was almost about to fall, and how your heart would've belated out of your chest, goosebumps forming on your skin when yeosang would have wrapped those strong arms around you, asking if you were okay in that sweet, polite voice.

Maybe, you wanted yeosang to treat you that way too. By no means, were you his close friend or anything, but sometimes you wished that he treated you that gently, too.

You wondered how it would be like to get THE kang yeosang worrying about you and giving you all his attention, passing you soft and gentle smiles of reassurance.

And yet, you knew this was never going to happen. Snap out of your thoughts, stupid girl.

The music lecture continued and ended in no time, as the bittersweet realization about your true feelings about yeosang washed over you, and how utterly foolish you were to fall so hard, so deep for your rival, out of all people.

You remember the first time you found Kang Yeosang attractive. The first time you realised that you, y/n, found your sworn academic rival physically attractive. And also the first time you realised how utterly stupid you were, how you were going to regret all this because yeosang, on the other hand, probably didn't even give a shit about you except for the times he liked to push your buttons and piss you off.

It was during the inter-school debate competition that took place a few months ago. You and Yeosang had been chosen as partners, as a duo, as your school's representatives for the battle. That was actually the first time and the longest time you two had been together, in each other's company. You were not really panicking about being in yeosang's company at that time, because back then you weren't actually attracted to him like you were, in the present. More than anything, you were a little pissed, a little bothered, and quite nervous about having your rival as your partner. You knew you would have to get along with him during the competition and that if you exposed your stupidity for even a second or messed things up, Yeosang would sure as hell tease you and blame everything negative on you.

So, the trickiest part about the competition was that it was an on-the-spot debate battle. This meant that you could try and prepare all you wanted with your partner, but it wouldn't really be of any good because the topics were to be chosen on the spot, and you were supposed to give the fiercest debate against your opponent on the spot along with your partner. But you weren't really worrying about this much. Because both you and yeosang were the most stubborn people to exist on earth, with words so sharp and powerful, just like that of an accomplished lawyer. Once you both even opened your mouth to refute, your opponent would beg the judges to put an end to the debate and announce you both as the winners. And that's what had actually happened, but not exactly:

The debate had been going pretty well, you and yeosang actually tolerated each other for once and in fact, were working very well together. Every time you added a new point to the topic, Yeosang supported it with additions of his own and acted as your back support. You did the same for him, of course. Your opponents were flustered with how good both of you were and how powerful your arguments were, they almost gave up and you both could sense it, by the way their arguments became so weak at the end. Just when the both of you were going to win the final debate (you had already won the semi-finals with flying colors), something infuriating had to happen, that acted as a barrier to you both winning the final match.

The atmosphere shifted perceptibly as the principal of the opposing school was seen having a hushed, yet visibly intense, conversation with one of the judges. The judge's responses and reactions to you and yeosang appeared unusually reserved, suddenly cheering for the opposing team when they hadn't before, all this time. You and yeosang, of course, noticed this change and were equally confused.

As the final rebuttal concluded, you glanced at yeosang seated beside you, studying every feature and expression on his face at that moment: his jaw was clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he practically glared every time the principal of the opposing team spoke with the judges. His eyes, which usually appeared all lively and soft and polite, were now narrowed into slits of sheer anger. His nostrils flared slightly and his lips narrowed into a thin line, both his hands turned into fists, supporting his chin as they rested on the table. As you caught this rare, unguarded display of emotion from your rival, an unexpected surge of attraction bubbled within you. This had to be the worst time possible for you to be feeling physically attracted to your rival, and of course, you were also very pissed off at the ongoing situation.

You just couldn't help but find him hot, during that time. You had never even batted an eye against yeosang before and here you were, deeply simping for the guy beside you. You wondered, how turned on you would be, if it was you that did something to piss yeosang off, and if he pinned you against the wall and kissed yo-

You could slap yourself in your face for such thoughts. The judges finally announced the results, favouring the opposing team and the audience suddenly felt pity for your team, passing murmurs in disbelief. Yeosang's face stiffened, as he turned to face you, his anger clearly visible. Throughout the debate, he had subtly steered the tougher questions towards himself, (even when he didn't need to) shielding you from the more aggressive tactics of your opponents. You felt your heart flutter at such moments, admiring and feeling gratitude towards yeosang despite him being your rival in reality.

You passed him a soft smile of reassurance, despite you feeling defeated and equally pissed inside.

"We know that we were the better team today, Yeosang. I know we should have won the finals. Well, nothing much we can do now, is it?" You said, your small smile turning into that of a self pity smile.

"I know. I-Its just not fair, y/n. I feel more angered rather than defeated right now- i don't want to give up, even if the results are announced." Yeosang replied, his expression returning to normal after chatting with you.

"I don't want to give up too, you know. If we decide to speak up right now, would anyone even believe us? And what if the judges actually found Sarah and Kyungsoo's debate better than ours? We can't be sure about that." You said, sighing deeply. Yeosang sighed along with you, looking as if the storm within him hadn't resolved.

Yet, he chose to do whatever you were willing to do: which was, just accepting the results. You both had won second place anyway, and you were satisfied with that. You both didn't really talk about the debate competition after that day. But you both had let each other know, that day, that you were proud of yourselves and each other for doing your best in that debate.

Something changed that day, about your relationship, your dynamics with Yeosang. It was after that day you noticed yeosang showing his true colors to you, the way he clearly loosened up when he was with you, the way he playfully teased and insulted you, it was something he didn't do before. You like to think of that period as the one where you started getting closer to him, something beyond your mere rivals or enemies dynamic.

The library was bathed with soft glow of the moonlight, air heavy with the scent of old books. Just as you tossed the keys from the drawer of the main table and put it in your pocket, you remembered that you weren't the only one present in the library at this time.

Instead of heading for the main door to leave, you chose to head inside and obviously, caught sight of a man slumped up on the table, his hands folded, supporting his head as he slept or atleast, pretended to sleep.

It was none other than your rival, Yeosang. You've been noticing this since the past few days. Yeosang would stay late, at hours after 8 pm, into the library and just would'nt go home. Even today, you turned around and glanced at the huge clock and checked the time even on your smartwatch. 8.05 pm.

That was your cue to leave, after seeing the time and when the clock striked 8.00 pm because it was too late to stay outside home. And yeosang should also be heading home and do whatever he wanted to do at his home instead of the library. You were appointed as the co-manager of the library and had to lock the gates up as you left. You had figured that the librarian had possibly given yeosang and extra key to lock up and leave, since otherwise you were the only one who had access to the keys.

You were about to leave, but you weren't going to ignore this today. You approached yeosang cautiously.

"Yeosang." You called out, your voice firm.

He didn't wake up to acknowledge you. You called out again, this time mentioning his full name.

"Kang Yeosang." You said, your voice now louder and firmer.

Yeosang looked up at you now, exhaustion etched into his features. You could tell that he wasn't really sleeping but well, wanted to sleep.

"What?" He asked, maintaining eye contact with you, looking at you as if you had disturbed his precious quality sleep.

"What are you still doing here? It's pretty late. Head home or something, dude." You said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"None of your business, y/n. I'll go when I want to." He deadpanned, his posture still a little bent as if he was going back to sleep on the desk yet again and waiting for you to leave.

"It is my business, actually. Look- I'm not trying to sound worried or something, but I've noticed since the past 3 days you're staying at such ungodly hours at the library and won't head home, when you're supposed to. If you didn't already know, I'm the co-manager of this library and have to lock the gates up. And for that, I need you to leave." You said, folding your arms, waiting for his next rebuttal.

"Don't worry about all that. I- the librarian gave me an extra set of keys so I'll lock the gates and everything carefully before I leave. You're free to go home." He said, his expression quite flustered now, upon hearing that you've been noticing his peculiar behaviour since the past few days.

"And what excuse did you give to the librarian? I bet she questioned you for asking for those extra set of keys." You inquired, leaning against one of the book shelves now, still maintaing eye contact with yeosang across the room.

"Uhh, I just told her that there's some...distraction at my house. Like, a really loud atmosphere that's not ideal for me to study." He said, despite knowing that you weren't buying this shit and straightened his position, sitting properly on his chair.

"Seriously, Yeosang? Do you mind telling me why are you even staying so late here? Did you parents disown you or kick you out, something?" You asked, letting out a laugh in disbelief.

"....which i suspect isn't true, because of course, you're the star of your family, your parents only child that can do no wrong and is their only pride." You continued, after noticing that Yeosang didn't reply just yet.

He let out a deep sigh, breaking eye contact with you. "Listen, why do you even care? Are you up for listening to my pity party story?" Yeosang said, staring outside the window.

"Why do I care? I don't know, I just thought we were atleast friends now? And ofcourse, I'm up for listening to you, I'm kinda bored anyways." You replied, still staring at him.

Just before yeosang could open his mouth to say something, you dashed to where he was, and pulled up a chair right besides him and sat there. It wasn't too close to him, but just close enough to listen properly to him, indicating that you genuinely wanted to hear him out.

"Well, I don't know where to start." He said, facing you. You stared right into those deep brown eyes, almost like pools of warm melted chocolate, glistening under the faint moonlight coming from the windows. Of course, his long, dark lashes above those mesmerizing orbs were even prettier, drawing you impossibly closer to him. Every time he opened his mouth to spoke, you noticed every feature of his face and were astonished every time: his well defined jawline, those high cheekbones, straight nose, those sharp collarbones revealed just slightly from his plain white shirt, and that perfectly symmetrical face.

It was unfair to be this freaking handsome, you thought. Yeosang would be flourishing if he decided to be a model. What was even lacking in this guy? Perfect body proportions, perfect face, perfect personality, perfect grades, and that smart sexy brain of his. And this perfect guy aka your rival was talking with you right now. Insane, you thought.

"Just, start anywhere. I'm willing to listen, you know." You assured him.

"For the main idea, it's my parents. Just some major issues with them." He said, sighing once again.

"What kind of issues?" You asked, your eyes now softening. It felt like he was opening to you and you wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible.

"They just, you know, want and expect and force me to become a doctor. Follow their footsteps. And it's clearly not what I want." Yeosang said, sounding frustrated.

You understood how frustrating this must be. By the next year, you both being the name age, were supposed to choose your majors and study accordingly to pursue your degree. And ofcourse this decision is crucial because it will determine you career. And if yeosang is having issues regarding this with his parents... it's pretty serious.

"They clearly know that's not what I want and still choose to push my buttons. I want to be a mathematician. My undying love for maths, just, even you know it, don't you, y/n?" He continued, locking his eyes with yours.

"Ah, definitely. I know better than anyone how much you love Math. And all this time, while i was curious as to which career you would choose, i definitely thought it's something related to maths. It had to be." You said , passing him a small smile. He reciprocated your smile after hearing your words.

You continued to listen intently to Yeosang as he poured out his frustration in your conversation. You tried your best to relate with him and comfort him. There won't be any other chance where I'll get to listen to yeosang's concerns and comfort him, you thought, so I better make the most out of this.

"So, what now? I understand that you're still having disagreements with them on this topic, but I'm sure they're very worried about you staying so late outside, you know. You should head home earlier from today, and, i don't know, talk to them. Properly this time. You can't keep running away." You replied, hesitating to do what you were about to do next, but you did it anyways. You placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would comfort him. You felt like you had the right to do atleast that much, after how yeosang ranted about his family conflict to you and how you patiently listened to him.

You could feel yeosang stiffening a little under your touch for just a second, before he relaxed and held onto the same hand that was on his shoulder with his, rubbing soft circles on your hand.

You felt like your heart was about to burst, right now. Every cell of your body had to be so immensely affected whenever Kang Yeosang did something as subtle as holding your hand and rubbing circles on it.

"Thank you for today, y/n. Seriously. It felt so.... different from our usual encounters. You know, were either teasing or insulting each other half of the time. This was...great. I guess we can consider each other as frenemies now? We're still rivals though, mind you." He said, chuckling lightly. You felt your heart melt at that chuckle. This, is exactly what you wanted from him. You wanted him to soften up a little when he was with you.

You lightly let go of his hand still holding yours, or else you were sure you were going to melt right then and there. You passed him a small smile and were about to say something, but Yeosang interrupted you.

"Ah, and also, do you know that Wooyoung and Jia are apparently dating now?" He said, looking at you.

You suddenly froze at his words. WHAT THE HELL????

"WHAT??? I mean, how, when? I knew Jia had a crush on Wooyoung since like forever and she told me all about it. I had NO IDEA that they were dating, though. And she DIDN'T TELL ME. Since when are they dating?" You asked, looking quite pissed. You couldn't believe that you were hearing about your best friend dating for the first time from your rival instead of her.

"Uhm, like since a week, maybe? Why do you sound so surprised tho? I thought you already knew, didn't Jia tell you?" Yeosang said, trying to hold back his laughter at your pissed face.

"No, she didn't. I am going to end her for that. And let me guess, Wooyoung already told you?" You asked. Wooyoung was Yeosang's best friend. They were always seen together and were really close.

"Yeah, he did. Pretty ironic, isn't it? Both our best friends are dating each other." Yeosang said, finding this situation pretty amusing. You did, too, to be honest.

"I know, right. The next time we all hang out together, we're gonna be third wheeling the both of them and that's gonna suck big time." You replied, sighing, but feeling happy for your best friend at the same time.

"No kidding. I'm gonna smack wooyoung in the face if they do anything cringe in front of me." He said, and the both of you laughed together.

"Anyways. Get home before 9 atleast, will you? I'm heading home now, it's pretty late." You announced, getting a hold of your bag in the chair alongside you.

"I will. And sorry for stalling you for so long. Are you sure you'll be home safe? I can drop you home, if you'd like." Yeosang said, concern etched in his voice.

"No, it's fine. I live near the block anyways. And I have a feeling you want to sort some things out. I'll be going then, bye." You said , passing him a small wave. He waved back, watching you leave.

It was so immensely surprising, even to yourself, when you think about all your interactions with yeosang nowadays. He's supposed to be your rival, which of course he still is, but it doesn't seem much like it nowadays. It's almost like you two are friends, seriously. And the thought scares you. It kinda scares you that you two are becoming friends now. You're afraid that all the times he's bothered you, teased you, playfully insulted you, would soon come to an end....it probably won't, right? And you don't want yeosang to treat you how he treats others: so soft, so polite, so calm, so well mannered, just, so perfect. Except for wooyoung, ofcourse: he's almost always kicking him and what not. You didn't like to admit this, but you liked with how your dynamics as supposed "rivals" was like.

You would never give up on the look on his face, when you flashed your paper wherein you got even a mark higher than him on a test. Or the times he'd insult your studying skills. Or the times when you would bother each other for every little thing. It was like, you had no one else to share such a relationship with, and although you would have to face your feelings very soon and admit that you like your rival in a romantic way, you still don't want your unique and playful banters to end.

Just as you were about to turn your phone off and go to sleep, a notification at the top of your screen bar distracted you. And it's from Jia, of course.

Before you could even confront Jia about her dating wooyoung, she herself texted you that day itself (when yeosang told you about the news at the library) and even video called you for the same, your ears almost tearing up with her excited squeals and screams every time she talked about wooyoung. But you were happy for her. Immensely happy for your best friend. You hoped wooyoung would keep her happy and that their relationship lasts long. At the same time, you kept dreaming about how wonderful it would be like, if you got into a relationship.

But you knew you weren't getting into a relationship any soon. You didn't even have a crush on anyone at the present.....oh wait, that's a lie.

How were you even supposed to date someone, when the beloved kang yeosang existed? How were you supposed to push your romantic feelings for your rival, or even get over your crush on him in the mere future, and date someone else?

At this point, you just wished you could date him. No. Wait, what?

You sighed and clicked on the notification of Jia's messages and opened her chat.

Jia😈🤍

Yo, are you free tomorrow? Since it's the weekend, anyways

You

Mhm, yes, i think. Why do u ask tho? Shouldn't u be spending the weekends with your precious boyfriend, now that u have one 💀

Jia😈🤍

C'mon, don't be salty now, y/n. You know I can never forget about you even if I have a bf now. So, I was thinking, you wanna go on a movie date w me tomorrow? Woo will be there too, ofc ;)

You

And be third-wheeling the entire time w the both of u? No way in hell, Jia. U go spend your romantic movie date with wooyoung alone, i won't be mad, promise

Jia😈🤍

I knew you would say that. So well listen up, here's the deal. Yeosang will be joining us too tomorrow;))

You froze for a second and your phone almost dropped from your hands onto your face.

You

What the hell??!! Are you being srs?? Why would u even invite yeosang tho-

Jia😈🤍

You have absolutely no idea how much convincing it took wooyoung to get yeosang come along with him tomorrow. So you better say yes too, y/n. Your lover boy slash rival will be there too, tomorrow's gonna be loads of funnnnn

You almost wished to kick her across the screen for mentioning yeosang as your "lover boy."

You

Okay, but uh, does yeosang know that I'm coming too, tomorrow? I don't think he would have said yes if he knew I'm coming....

Jia😈🤍

He does. He knows ur coming and still agreed to the date. Wooyoung will do anything for me, even as far as convincing THE yeosang to agree to come to a hang out session w his rival. You know, part of me thinks that he willingly wants to be near you, bc why else would he say yes?

You took in a deep breath and processed all this.

You

I'm.....not too sure abt that. What time tomorrow and which cinema?

Jia 😈🤍

I see someone's excited, huh. I'll text you all the details tomorrow. For now, just sleep, and dream about your rival lover boy, nighttttt y/nnieeee

You

Gosh, shut up, Jia. And goodnight to you too, dream about wooyoung, loser

You put your phone on your bedside table and blankly stared at the ceiling, not believing that you were about to go on a movie date with yeosang, tomorrow.

Song Jia had to be the craziest person you've ever known. You couldn't believe that she went as far as successfully inviting Yeosang to the movie date tomorrow, yeosang knowing that you, his arch nemesis would be there. You knew Jia purposefully invited him so that something could possibly "change" into your relationship, perhaps either one of you making a move to confess, or something like that.

But you knew that wasn't true. Yeosang clearly wasn't interested in you in THAT way and you had to try your best to get over him. Tomorrow was going to be a very normal movie date with your friends.....and rival, now tour frenemy, which you would try to tolerate as much as you could.

You closed your eyes and finally slept, quite excited for what tomorrow was about to bring.

You stood in front of your open closet, your expression thoughtful as you scanned the rows of outfits hanging neatly inside. As the thought of yeosang being there at the movie date later struck you, you suddenly felt self-conscious. You were a confident person but all that confidence sometimes melted away in front of your rival. You wanted to look just right today, in front of him, maybe even impress him with your outfit today. While considering all these factors, you decided to drop your usual jeans-and-tee combo and instead, picked up a soft, pastel pink dress: with floral patterns at the edges, that seemed to hug your curves perfectly, A dark blue denim jacket would compliment this perfectly, you thought, as you picked up the jacket too, and closed your closet.

As you were adding some final touches to your light and subtle makeup, which would be ideal for a movie date- you picked up your favourite gold hoop earrings from a nearby drawer and wore them, checking yourself out in the mirror with your entire outfit, including your white canvas sneakers. You felt confident and beautiful, and hey, a girlish look doesn't look bad sometimes. Your outfit today bought out the feminism in you, and you hoped Yeosang's eyes wouldn't leave you or your outfit today.

Unusual excitement bubbled up inside you as you closed the door of your room, hiring a taxi from an app on your phone. The taxi arrived in no time and there you were, stepping inside the grand cinemas, right on time.

You texted Jia to let her know that you were already here. Jia would be arriving alone, just like you, whereas Wooyoung and Yeosang would be arriving together since they shared a cab.

You unconsciously tapped your foot as you scanned the cinema's ambience around you, focusing on the movie posters, You had no idea which movie you were about to watch but knowing Jia, she would have definitely picked a rom-com movie since she's a die-hard romance fanatic, after all.

After a few minutes, Jia joined you, looking just as bubbly and excited as always. As the both of you chatted away, Jia complimented your outfit and makeup and you complimented hers too. You tilted your head and noticed two guys making their way towards the both of you in the bustling lobby. There they were, Yeosang and Wooyoung, looking just high-class as always. There was something about these two whenever they were together- they carried an air of confidence and power between them and were undoubtedly the most attractive and handsome men in the entire room.

You glanced briefly at yeosang, your jaw almost dropping as you scanned his outfit from head to toe: a black leather jacket that complimented his broad shoulders, a fitted white t-shirt that highlighted his toned physique, the fabric stretching just enough to hint the muscles beneath. And of course, his dark blue jeans complimented his long legs perfectly well, his black converse shoes adding an edgy, cool and expensive look. As he walked towards you, his hair was slightly tousled, his perfect lips drawn together as he smiled at something wooyoung said. Wooyoung was looking just as good as yeosang, but frankly, at the moment, you could NOT focus on anyone other than yeosang. He stole your breath and got your heart beating unbelievably fast every second he walked closer to you.

This was only the second time you ever saw Yeosang in casual clothes, you thought. Everyday you'd see him in the typical school uniform, but he just looked....so different in such a casual look. His outfit today radiated such a strong bad boy look it was insane. Who would have thought that the softest, politest Kang Yeosang liked wearing such daring clothes like a leather jacket, outside the school premises?

The moment these two stood in font of the both of you, Jia ran towards Wooyoung and engulfed him in a soul-crushing hug. You awkwardly stood there, trying your best to not stare at Yeosang, or at least, let him know that you were staring at him. But needless to say, he was already staring at you, scanning your outfit from head to toe just like you had for him, and you could swear you saw him smirking a little. You could feel every inch of your skin burning, burning holes into your skin, the parts where yeosang stared at you.

You finally made eye contact with him, because after all, you HAD to acknowledge him. He gave you a small smile, that wasn't a smirk for once, and you reciprocated the same. Then you both stared at the lovey-dovey couple beside you together, as wooyoung finally pulled back from Jia. You smiled at the sight of both of them, together, like the perfect couple. Wooyoung greeted you and began small talk with you, and all this time, Yeosang's gaze was deeply fixated on you, noticing every little change in your expression, and you didn't dare to look away from wooyoung while talking to him.

Since there was still almost half an hour left for the movie to start, Wooyoung and Jia announced that they were going around the cinema to take pictures together, and Yeosang shrugged, while you agreed, asking them to come back soon. Jia requested you to buy popcorn and a few cold drinks for all four of you, before she went, and passed you a small wink, and a knowing smile, and OF COURSE, she did, because you and yeosang were going to be alone together for the next few minutes. great.

"Uhm, so, Jia asked me to buy popcorn and cold drinks for all of us. Mind accompanying me?" You asked Yeosang, breaking the ice between the both of you just as you were alone.

"Mm, sure, lead the way." Yeosang replied, as casually as possible. You lead the way to the snacks counter as he walked beside you. Soon, you both were scanning the cafeteria menu, looking at the popcorn flavor options.

"Since it's the four of us, i think two or three popcorns would be enough, right?" You asked, squinting your eyes to read the price.

"Right. And i guess four cold drinks each for us, but which brand does everyone prefer?" He asked which cold drink brands were available, to the cashier, and since the both of you know your best friend's preferences, you ordered for the both of them, too.

After you both completed placing the orders, it was time for payment, and you shamelessly asked Yeosang to pay since you weren't really carrying much cash with you at the moment.

'Why me though? You can pay too, you know." He said just as shamelessly as you. While other people normally argued that they would be the ones paying, here the both of you were taunting each other to pay.

You continued to argue for two more minutes when yeosang finally gave in and offered to pay, That annoyed you a little and it felt like he won the fight somehow.

"Why agree to pay now, though? I'm embarrassed now, i want to pay." You childishly argued.

"I can't believe you sometimes, y/n. You were literally asking me to pay earlier, and now that i'm paying, you've got a problem again?" Yeosang huffed, looking a little pissed.

The cashier sensed that both of you were going to childishly argue with each other once again and interrupted your conversation.

"Sir, ma'am, sorry to interrupt, but we've got other customers in line too, you know. How about you split up the payment.....?" She offered and the both of you considered it, feeling foolish to not have thought about splitting up earlier.

"Ah, well. Since the total is around 12$ anyways, we can split up 6$ each." You said, and yeosang finally agreed with you, and just as the both of you were finishing up the payment, someone screamed right behind you in your ear which caused you to have a jumpscare and you flinched horribly, letting out a small scream. Jia and Wooyoung laughed like maniacs upon your reaction, and now Yeosang also looked at you in amazement and laughed as if you were a total sight right now. Your cheeks flushed furiously as you slapped Jia on the arm.

"Sorry, sorry. Let me and Wooyoung help you carry the popcorn. You both can carry the drinks. Our screen is the 5th one." Jia said, gathering the popcorn and handing some to Wooyoung. All four of you quietly made your way to the cinema hall, sitting at your booked seats.

And of course, your seat was just beside yeosang's. Jia sat on your right and yeosang on your left, whereas wooyoung sat beside Jia and a stranger. You almost held your breath as you settled in your seat, but immediately relaxed because of the comfortable and soft incliner cushion seat. Alas, you couldn't relax completely no matter how much you tried and nervousness bubbled up inside you, cuz you were seated right beside your rival slash crush slash the person whom you were so utterly attracted to, physically, and you almost started sweating because of him being in your presence. But you held all these stupid feelings in and focused on the large theatre screen for gods sake.

It was one of the finest rom-coms of the century. From the start itself, you adored the characters and found the storyline pretty interesting. Obviously, you couldn't help but glance at Yeosang secretly from time to time, and notice every little detail of his facial expression as he watched the movie. Ugh, that perfect freaking side profile of his, No matter what angle you saw this man, he was the most handsome guy you had ever seen in your life. That jawline could surely cut diamonds, you thought. God, how badly you wanted to ruffle those soft strands of tousled, black hair. You chose to focus on the movie instead. You glanced at Jia and noticed her and wooyoung's hands intertwined together. You wished it was you and Yeosang holding hands, too...

At some point, your and yeosang's fingers brushed together because both of you reached for the popcorn in the chair stand at the same time. You felt yourself blush so badly, that you were glad it was dark right now, or else Jia would have teased the hell out of you.

"I'm having this first, i reached for it first." Yeosang whispered lowly and it sent shivers down your spine because of how close he was to you, as he said this.

"Huh, no way. Let me have it first. How can you be so sure you reached for it first?" You argued, now lightly slapping yeosang's palm under yours. He let out a fake wince and tried grabbing some popcorn but you stopped him just in time, and there you were; the both of you fighting childishly like nursery school kids. This was your element, right now you were in your natural habitat with yeosang. This is what you both did every time, bantering about every little thing and you both never got tired of pissing each other off.

"God, shut up already, you both. Here, take our popcorn, Why does it even matter who reached for it first?" Jia said, quite annoyed.

"Really can't take the both of you anywhere. Always fighting like siblings." Wooyoung said, sighing, and passed their popcorn to Jia who passed it to you.

You lightly pinched Jia's arm after hearing wooyoung's words. "Tell your boyfriend to not call us siblings. Ew, who would even like to be siblings with this guy?" You whispered something only Jia was supposed to hear but unfortunately yeosang heard it, too.

"Just so you know, i would absolutely loathe to be your sibling too. The feeling's mutual." Yeosang said, huffing, and suddenly the movie in front of you was long forgotten. You passed him an annoying smirk and he did too, but the both of you calmed down soon, your attention back on the movie.

And suddenly, the both of you were laughing together at a comedy scene, and your eyes met yeosang's as you took in the sight of his carefree, almost adorable laughter. So this is what his laughter was like. To say that you liked observing such things about yeosang was an understatement. You loved knowing and collecting bits of information about this guy and unravelling every little inch of his personality.

Wooyoung and Jia stared at the both of you in unision as you and yeosang didn't break your eye contact for a few seconds. It seemed like you were searching for something, in his eyes. As you caught yeosang's gaze on your lips briefly for a second, you felt like passing ou. You broke the eye contact, the heat in your cheeks rising as you refocused on the screen in front of you. You couldn't bear to see him smirking after winning this battle of eye contact, yet again.

The movie ended after 2 hours, and you legit felt like these were the longest 2 hours of your life. As you both exited the cinema hall. all of you happily chatting about how good the storyline of the movie was, you suddenly became quiet for a few minutes, recollecting yeosang's brief glance at your lips back in the cinema hall. And you slowly stared up at the the same guy ahead of you, his dimples prominent as he chatted with wooyoung and jia. What if, just what if, one of you had made the first move, back then, and would have kissed? He was the one who stared at your lips first, after all.

But then again, that wasn't possible. Maybe it was just a coincidence, him staring at your lips. You were so normal about this. Totally normal. Yeosang didn't affect you in any way.

You caught up to them, and heard Jia saying something about how her relatives were about to visit her that night and how she needed to go home as soon as possible. Wooyoung, as her boyfriend, of course; offered to drop her home and soon, they waved the both of you goodbye, exiting the cinema together.

You and yeosang were alone, yet again, at the cinema, now.

You both walked out towards the exit together, the atmosphere painfully quiet between the both of you. Just as you were about to say something, Yeosang interrupted your words.

"So like, i bought my bike here. I can give you a ride home if you'd like... it's pretty late, anyways. Where did you say you lived again?" Yeosang inquired, standing right in front of you. His hair was messier than before now because of the wind, and your hands itched to straighten up his hair for him.

You had to be the stupidest person on earth to reject his current offer, yet you did. It was like a godsent opportunity was placed right in front of you and yet you rejected it like the coward you were. You were going to regret this badly, later.

"Uhh, i live just like, 20 minutes away from here. You don't have to drop me home, i wanted to walk home anyways. Thanks for the offer, though." You said weakly.

There was an obvious expression of disappointment on yeosang's face, but it lasted only for a second as he asked for a second time, if you were sure about walking home at this late hour. He looked like he wasn't ready to be rejected. like you would have obviously said yes to his offer. which you should have.

And here you were, all by yourself, after witnessing one of the hottest scenarios you've ever seen in your life: Kang Yeosang on his dashing red motorbike, his huge black helmet covering his head, him passing you a peace sign to show that he was finally leaving, and you waved him off, watching him disappear into the darkness of the streets ahead. The moment he started the gear of his bike and drove so impeccably fast, you realised that he wasn't just driving his bike but was also driving you insane.

You sighed and walked in the opposite direction of where Yeosang went, opening your phone to google maps. You had no freaking clue why you lied to Yeosang about your home being close to the cinema. It was apparently gonna take you 40 minutes to reach home, and just as you were walking halfway, you decided to call in a cab on the way home. You stood near the giant tree across the pavement, a hug car parked right ahead of you.

Suddenly, you felt a tug on your purse. A stranger dressed in all black appeared in front of you, and since your attention was on your phone, you reacted poorly. He attempted to snatch at your purse and before you could stop him, he already grabbed your purse and sprinted away in the darkness.

Your heart raced as you realized what had happened. Instinctively, you attempted to run after the thief, but stopped right in your tracks as you realized that he already ran too far away.

Just as panic threatened to set in, you heard a familiar voice nearby, almost growling.

"Hey, you f*cker!!! Stop right there!!!"

It was Yeosang, your unexpected shining night in armour. The way he shouted and almost growled towards the thief, for you, had you swooning over him.

Yeosang's leather jacket flapped behind him as he sprinted towards the fleeing thief, and he immediately tackled him towards the ground and successfully managed to grab your purse from his pant pockets. You watched the scenario in front of you in awe, just as you started wondering how on actual earth yeosang even came back here just in time. didn't he already leave like minutes ago? how did he even know that you were being pick pocketed??!!

"Who the hell even are you, dude?? That girl must be important to you, the way you got out of yo bike and ran so fast towards me." The thief said, and you felt like punching him on the face.

It was true, though. Why would yeosang act so fast, for you? It didn't mean anything, you managed to convince yourself. Even a random stranger would have helped you if they saw this scene unfold. It was people's duty to help each othe-

"Yeah, she's my girlfriend. You got any problem, bastard? And just how many people's pockets do you pickpocket everyday, like this?!" Yeosang shouted angrily without hesitation, not even passing you a single glance. You felt your blood run cold.

Girlfriend. Yeah, she's my girlfriend, you bastard.

The words rang again and again in your ears, not until you become unconscious of hearing them. Why would he, even...?

Hell, he could have called you his best friend for what its worth and that wouldn't affect you like this. Yet, he chose to introduce you as his girlfriend to a random thief whom he was now painfully punching in the face. You stared at him, completely still, and something told you he wasn't done beating that thief, as the thief skillfully flipped yeosang over and ran away for his life.

Yeosang grunted painfully, at the feeling of rocks hitting his back as he slowly took hold of himself and got up. That was when you wasted no time in rushing over to his side, placing an arm on his shoulder and wiping off the dust from his jacket with the other hand. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, your rival whom you had a crush on, fighting off a thief for you.

"Yeosang...how did you even? know i was in this situation? and weren't you already on your way home...? You asked, confusion etched in your voice and expression.

Yeosang looked up at you, agonizingly slowly, and handed you your purse, which you took very carefully, holding it close to your chest. He didn't say anything for almost a minute, but then he spoke up.

"Yeah, because apparently, you are so dumb that you can't even take care of yourself. If i wouldn't have been here, y/n, tell me, who the hell would have helped you??!!" Yeosang sounded angry, and that was probably the first time he ever raised his voice on you. You flinched slightly and the tone of his words and he noticed, his gaze immediately softening. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to-"

"No, y-you're right. I really am the dumbest person on earth. I shouldn't have let down your offer of dropping me home..." You admitted, tears almost threatening to spill out of your eyes because you were so embarrassed.

"Oh yeah, about that. On my way home on the bike, i recalled when you once told me your address and realised that you live quite far away from here. And yet you lied to me about your home being 20 minutes away from here. Why?" Yeosang demanded some answers from you and he surely had the entire right of knowing why you lied to him.

"Yeosang, i.... i dont know. I probably just didn't want to bother you or something, at such late hours of night, you know..." You trailed off.

"You would not have bothered me in any way. Besides, your home is just on the way to mine by a few minutes..." Yeosang said, and then there was complete silence between the two of you for a few minutes. Something hung in the air, something that was left to be addressed. Oh right. Girlfriend. You desperately tried to ignore the blush that formed on your face as his words rung up in your ears, your mind, your body, your soul- once again.

You hesitated for a moment but managed to ask this, regardless.

"A-and, um, why did you tell that thief that i'm your girlfriend, earlier......? You asked, your voice almost breaking but you hoped that yeosang heard you, loud and clear.

"Ah, about that. Don't think about it much, you know. It just spilled out of my mouth, to uh, scare that thief away for good. To make some impact, you know?" Yeosang answered sheepishly, his hand awkwardly caressing the back of his head.

You could almost laugh right now, that's how ridiculous this situation was. "Don't think about it much" how can i not, for god's sake, kang yeosang, when that's the only thing i'm going to be focusing on for the rest of my life? "to make an impact" my ass.

You let out a small sigh and looked him right in the eyes. SO, all this really didn't mean anything to him. He just casually addressed you as his girlfriend to make an impact on the thief. great. you could be hit with a million rocks right now, and that would still hurt less than what you were feeling right now.

You realised that you were supposed to reply to him, because well, he already gave you his answer.

"An impact?? Sure. Whatever you say." You replied, sounding disinterested. Unbothered. The complete opposite of what you were feeling right now. Hell, you should audition for acting, the way you're able to conceal your true emotions so well.

"Well, i'm taking you home now, and i'm not hearing a single word of protest from you now." He announced, already dashing out to reach for his bike before you could even reply to him.

He returned in no time, placing his bike right in front of you both and hopping off on his bike, patting on the seat behind him, motioning for you to get on.

"What are you waiting for? Get on already." He said, sounding impatient. You really weren't left with any choice now. You hopped on the seat behind yeosang, and yeosang instructed to to hold on tight to him as he started. You hesitated for a second but gripped his shoulders a second later, feeling his strong shoulders and the expensive material of his leather jacket. You felt dizzy.

Just as yeosang started the engine, your heart almost beat out of your chest as you realised at the fast speed he was driving with. But you weren't really afraid of speed. not at all. Instead, it was the complete opposite; you felt alive, you felt exhilarated, you felt this sudden surge of freedom in your veins. You removed your hands from yeosang's shoulder and waved your hands in the air, freely, as yeosang tilted his head with his helmet on just for a second, smirking and grinning at how happy you were, right now.

Suddenly, a rock bumped the tyre of his bike, causing a huge drift as you hurriedly gripped yeosang's shoulder with so much force, you swore the jacket was dropping off his shoulders.

"Oh gosh, i'm sorry, that must have hurt-" You started as you noticed him stiffen a little at your sudden touch.

"No, you did the right thing. Make sure to always hold onto me with such force whenever such bumps occur. I need you to be as safe as possible." He replied, his words sounding muffled because of his helmet.

I need you to be as safe as possible.

God, what was his deal nowadays? Did he suddenly make it his mission to test you, today??!! You kept the same grip on his shoulders, humming in response to him, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating impeccably faster, the rest of your ride peacefully quiet, as you took in the chilly night air, the streetlamps, and the tall buildings around you.

This all felt like a dream. Here, huddled close with your rival slash crush on his bike, him offering you a ride home, you enjoying the chilly night with yeosang. if this really was a dream, you did not want to wake up from this dream.

maybe this was all that you've wanted, all this time. this was all you craved for. and now that you're getting dangerously closer to yeosang, how could you even spend a minute away from him? how could you not think about this perfect guy all the time, when he is all you've ever wanted?

Just as you reached your building, yeosang stopped the engine, got off his bike and removed his helmet. You did the same, an empty feeling lingering within you as you let go of your grip on his shoulder. you wanted to get impossibly closer to him, and yet, here you were: staring at the guy in awe, like he just won the olympics.

"well.....?" he started, smirking a little, taking in your impressed expression and waiting for some compliments.

"that was AWESOME, yeosang, even though i hate to admit it. You looked...really cool driving your bike. thank you for bringing me home in one piece." You said a little sarcastically.

"You're welcome. Well, get in already. It's pretty late and i need to go home soon." He said, smiling satisfactorily.

"Right. Um, goodnight. Get home safe and thank you again." You said, holding on tight to your purse and walking towards your complex, and just when you were far away from yeosang, you glanced at him and noticed that he was watching you leave, as if he wasn't planning to leave unless he saw you get completely inside your building gates.

that is something a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend, right......?

You waved lightly at him and he waved back, finally getting on his bike and you watched him, once again, trailing off in the darkness.

Kang Yeosang........

why do i keep smiling, after meeting you these days? Why is my mood entirely different nowadays when you are around?

My eyes keep looking for you everywhere, even if it's unnecessary. how is this even me? i am supposed to be hating you. i am supposed to be happy if you leave me the hell alone. but i feel so...empty and sad instead. what spell and magic have you used on me? that i keep selfishly wanting you, more and more. i don't even know when this all happened. somehow, my heart beats impeccably faster, only for you. this started at one point and never ended,

how did you even become so important to me, yeosang?

you give my life it's meaning. i am still so utterly young and so are you. i don't know what i am saying at this point. but my growing feelings, my changed emotions towards you nowadays.....it's not a joke. not anymore. if i don't confess to you soon i might die. a rejection at this point would hurt less than bottling my feelings inside like a raging storm.

i want you. selfishly, dangerously, desperately, want you- all for myself.

who knew something would provoke me to actually confess to you...today?

It’s late afternoon; the sun casts long shadows through the hallway's tall windows, bathing the scene in a golden, wistful light. As students hurry to their next class, the locker doors clank and conversations blur into a continuous hum, creating a backdrop of ordinary high school life. but something isn't ordinary today, actually since a week- between you and yeosang.

it had been two weeks since the movie date happened, also the day wherein yeosang dropped you home on his bike, fought a thief for you and addressed you as his girlfriend. which was all a lie, of course. but you still can't get his words out of your mind, ever since that day. and it bothers you that something as heavy as that was so easy for him to lie about.

Talking about you and your activities these days- well, you were supposed to hand in a hefty chemistry project the next week, and one of your classmates, Jaehyun, was your partner was the same. Almost all your extra time after school gets occupied with working on your project with Jaehyun at your home. Everything was working smoothly and efficiently, Jaehyun was the best partner you could have ever asked for. You had known Jaehyun ever since the first year of high school and were good friends with him, but you both never really talked much, not until you were paired up together for the project.

And here you were- walking towards the familiar person towards his desk, chatting with him about what you were supposed to finish today. You could not even make your point straight sometimes, while conversing with him, because Jaehyun, being the jokester he is, would crack such horrendous jokes and wordplays every now and then, you couldn't help but burst out into laughter and beg him to stop. soon enough, though, he would concentrate on what you're saying and add suggestions of his own, because unfortunately, he knew the both of you needed to get those grades.

Somehow, even though Jaehyun made you laugh your lungs out for minutes straight, you still felt empty, still felt this unusual surge of sadness.

and of course, the only person responsible for that was kang yeosang.

over the past week, yeosang has been acting so unusual towards you. Your relationship, once filled with playful banter and unending teasing, now even him ranting to you about his family conflicts and the movie date events, had taken a sharp, unexplained turn, leaving you feeling confused and isolated. it would not have bothered you much if it happened once or twice, but it happened every day over the past week, including today. you felt like drowning in an ocean every single time he ignored you over the past week.

On Monday, you tried to indulge him in a joke during algebra class, but he barely cracked a smile at that, instead, he gave an uninterested shrug and turned away to talk to wooyoung, who was seated beside him. The laughter that followed, one that you weren't a part of, suddenly felt like a barrier between the both of you.

On Tuesday, when you were both seated in the library at the same time, just when you were about to reach out to him to start a normal conversation, he took hold of his bag and left- without sparing you a single glance or acknowledging you like he always did, at least with a smirk. You felt a sharp, burning ache in your chest, at that moment.

On Wednesday and Thursday, just when you didn't want to overthink much about yeosang's sudden unusual behaviour towards you, things worsened. Once, when it was physics class, you were looking forward to the rivalry that always took place in between both of you, almost like a form of affection. You used to compete on who could answer the professor's questions first and he never let down his guard during such lectures. But this time, his hang didn't raise up to answer, not even once. You passed him a confused glance and he just shrugged, yet again, and you were 100% sure he knew the answer but still didn't answer instead. he seemed distracted and impossibly distant to you, and all you wanted to do is cry until you passed out. a similar incident of him ignoring you happened on Thursday and frankly, you don't even want to talk about it.

On Friday, the week's pattern of avoidance reached its peak. as school ended and the bells rung, you felt a knot of anxiety instead of relief that school ended. As you reached your locker, you overheard yeosang and wooyoung talking about their weekend plans about playing a new video game that wooyoung had bought, together. the ease and joy you felt in yeosang's voice made your stomach churn, because just as you walked closer to him, trying to start a conversation yet again, smiling faintly- yeosang glanced up, saw you, and the smile on his face suddenly faded. Wooyoung didn't seem to notice because he was scrolling something on his phone. Yeosang immediately broke eye contact with you and whispered something to wooyoung, effectively dismissing you. huh, two could play this game, you thought. angered and confused like hell, you turned away from him and took your bag and left without sparing him another glance.

"He's definitely ignoring me. I dont even know the hell why." You mumbled, lying on your bed, and Jia put her phone aside and turned to you, looking concerned. She came over to hang out with you for a while, during the weekends, and who else could you open up to about your problems other than your best friend?

"After you described his unusual behaviour towards you the entire week, i think so too. And that is so shitty of him. Seriously, have you done something to piss him off badly these days?" Jia asked, confused.

"I don't even get the chance to TALK to him nowadays, Jia- let alone tease him or piss him off. And over and over i keep thinking if i did o said something wrong but nothing comes to my mind, seriously. How dare he give me a cold shoulder after literally calling me his girlfriend to a random stranger last week??!!" You ranted, sounding and feeling the angriest you've ever felt in your life.

Jia consoled you and tried her best to distract your mind from yeosang during the time she was with you. but after she left, at night; you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying yeosang's cold indifference over and over in your mind. This can't continue into next week; you need answers, and deserve answers. Monday, you decide, will be the day you confront yeosang, demanding to know why he pushed you away over the week. You fell asleep rehearsing what she would say, each word crafted precisely to argue with him and let him know how sad and frustrated you get when he ignores you....which would maybe also lead to you confessing to him...?

not that you cared. if a confession is what comes out of this then be it.

The weekend passed by in no time. Here you were, presenting your chemistry project in front of the entire class along with Jaehyun, feeling pretty confident and satisfied with your work. The presentation went by pretty smoothly and your chemistry teacher showered you both with compliments and so did the entire class; applauding cheerfully. You returned to your seat with a huge smile on your face (that you couldn't hide) and fist-bumped Jaehyun, telling him that you both truly did a great job.

Next up was Yeosang and Mingi's project. Mingi was one of your classmates and also a good friend of Yeosang's. Their presentation was something unique and different, something that had grabbed the entire class's attention, including yours. They both explained each concept so well and their research was done excellently. While directly making eye contact with the entire class while explaining each slide, at some point, when their presentation was done and the entire class cheered rowdily once again, Yeosang's eyes made brief eye contact with yours, and you could not tell what his expression meant. But you clapped softly and Yeosang's face was still blank, not until he met eyes with other students and smiled politely at them. You still continued staring at him until he settled back into his seat, your eyes silently spitting outrage and confusion, and he didn't look back at you.

Your mind was now a outlet of mixed emotions and feelings and displaced thoughts; as you worked out how to settle everything with yeosang and to know what the hell was his actual deal.

You could not figure out anything, not until all lectures for the day ended and the bell rang loudly, all students hurrying up to pack their bags and go home. A sudden splash of currentness washed over you, as you realized that this was your only chance to confront Yeosang, or else he'd be gone forever. You could confront him tomorrow too, but you had planned to do this today and you never broke promises with yourself. Instead of directly lashing out at him, you decided to compliment him on his project first and ask him about his thoughts on your project.

Just as you spotted him at the classroom doors, ready to step out into the hallway, you quickly rushed over and stood after him, almost blocking his way.

"Hey. Y-your project, and Mingi's too, of course- was amazing. Well done, seriously." You managed to let out, almost in a fangirl kinda voice.

Yeosang just stared at you for a second, a bit startled at first when you practically blocked his way, but now his expression was still blank, and he mumbled out a low "thank you."

Nah, this isn't it. You decided to speak up a bit more, like normal.

"I was really impressed by how detailed your explanations were. What did you think about my project? Was it good enough to impress THE kang yeosang?" You asked, chuckling a little. Usually, yeosang would have definitely giggled a little, or even smirked, but instead, he parted his lips awkwardly.

"Yeah, it was cool." He replied, his voice still low. You still stood there, expecting him to say something more, but he didn't, instead- just stared coldly at you as if telling you to get the hell outta his way and let him leave. But you were absolutely not letting that happen. He crossed is limit and your blood was practically boiling now.

"What the hell is wrong with you nowadays, Yeosang?" You asked him, your voice low but still emitting annoyance and rage.

"W-what do you mean?" He asked, now breaking eye contact with you, staring at the floor behind you. You couldn't believe that he stuttered while saying his first word. Ah, so he is aware of his actions over the past week, you thought.

"What do i mean?? SERIOUSLY?? Don't act all innocent. Why are you ignoring me and pushing me off since the past week?" You asked, your voice loud and firm, demanding answers. "Just so you know, I am not letting you get away with the silent treatment you've been giving me. Tell me, what did I even do wrong that you're giving me the cold shoulder??!! You said, practically screaming at the man in front of you. Something about Yeosang's demeanor changed, at that moment- his eyes were now a flicker of emotions you could not comprehend.

"I'm.....not ignoring you. I am talking with you now, aren't i?" He said, his voice still low, almost as if he spoke any further it would break.

"Stop lying for god's sake!!!!!" You let out, and without thinking any further, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the nearest closet, the one closest to the hallway and your class.

It looked like a huge closet from the outside, but it was pretty closed-off from the inside, and you had no idea how you managed to fit inside it along with Yeosang, but you did.

Yeosang almost removed his wrist from your grip but gave up as soon as you dragged him inside the closet with you, breathing heavily in this constricted place he was bought to.

Inside the dimly lit closet, the air was thick with the scent of lemon polish and dust. You finally let go of his wrist and stood a few inches apart from him, your gaze piercing an burning holes into his skin.

"Are you insane? Why did you even bring me here, y/n??" He asked, coughing a little. Your skin formed goosebumps as your ears registered the fact that he called out your name. You did not hear him call you by your name for the past week and now that he did, you felt like you were getting dizzy.

"Quit the act and tell me what the hell is wrong with you. Unfortunately, i had to bring you here to talk or else you would have pushed me off and walked past me again, ignoring me like always, right?" You let out, your voice sarcastic.

Suddenly you became aware of the present situation, you locked into a small, constricted closet along with your rival....or your crush, him being only inches apart from you. There was a dim light turned on inside the closet so hopefully, you could see each other's faces, and hell, why did yeosang always have to look this goddamn handsome?

The strands of his smooth, black hair were messed up at the edges and he was sweating a little because of the current atmosphere, and his forehead was slightly exposed- his hoop cross earrings shining in the dim light. There were no restrictions about wearing subtle jewelry at your school and Yeosang took advantage of it, showing off his ear piercings.

If he wanted to leave and had nothing else to say to you, he would have already opened the closet door and would have left, you thought. But he didn't, instead, you felt his lips being parted as if he was about to say something. He hesitated for a few seconds, but said it regardless;

"Why......Ah, right. Your project is over now and you won't spend time with Jaehyun anymore, so you're suddenly looking for me now?" He said, laughing a little in disbelief.

What....? No way...... was he jealous of you spending time with Jaehyun nowadays?

You weren't dumb, you had already thought about the possibility of Yeosang perhaps giving you the cold shoulder because he felt jealous of Jaehyun, since you really were spending a lot of time with him since the past week... but you quickly brushed this off because you always thought that Yeosang did not like you in that way. Always.....and him saying this to you, right now, obviously implied that he was jealous, right?

"What are you talking about? Who do you even think i am....yeosang?? Don't tell me you felt jealous of Jaehyun?" You let out, staring so firmly at him, observing each and every single detail about his expression.

Silence. He didn't say anything, instead just stared below, almost looking embarrassed.

Now, it was you who was laughing in disbelief. "Just talk to me...for gods sake. You being quiet is not helping, and now you're implying that you felt jealous of Jaehyun. What am i supposed to make of this?" You asked, patiently or impatiently waiting for him to just...speak.

"So, am i in the wrong for feeling jealous, now?? I am sorry. I have to be the stupidest person on earth, i- i don't even have the right to be feeling jealous for you, y/n," Yeosang said, and the last sentence felt like something he would've wanted to say to himself. He felt vulnerable, his words felt vulnerable- and if you weren't confronting him right now, you would have hugged him for sure.

"Hey... i'm not saying that you feeling jealous is wrong. It's definitely not. Just, do you have any clue how you ignoring me and giving me the worst cold shoulder made me feel? I wanted to cry, scream, pull you by your collar and make you look directly at me and just...wanted everything between us to be normal. I, feel so deprived when you don't give me attention, you're so important to me, i-i don't know how you became so important to me, Yeosang." You said, catching your breath as you stared at the wall sideways. You could not look at Yeosang right now. You just couldn't.

"Y/N.....i had no idea...." He said, not breaking his gaze away from your face.

"I'm sorry, all this time, i thought it was just me...i am not supposed to be feeling jealous of you, y/n. You're my rival, goddamit- and as this thought sunk in, i realized that i like you, so bad that it hurts. I am sorry, for making you sad. That's the last thing I'd want, i like you so much, I'd never want you to cry over someone as stupid as me-" and that's it. that's all it took for you to close the remaining inches of distance between the both of you. You wanted him to just, stop speaking. Apologizing. You could hear him say that he liked you a million times, but him apologizing for liking you? You wanted to cry, SCREAM. Realizing that you were just an inch away from his face, not only did yeosang stop speaking, but those dark, majestic eyes immediately glanced at your lips, and that's all it took for you to press a light, chaste kiss on his lips.

You immediately pulled apart after a second, not even registering Yeosang's reaction to the sudden kiss. It was too much for you, though- his lips were so soft, although you just pecked for a mere second, you could feel how sweet those perfect lips tasted, and you wanted to kiss him forever. You don't even know how you managed to pull apart, but you did, of course- because you could not do this if yeosang didn't want to.

Yeosang's eyes widened the moment you kissed him, and although you were too scared to see his reaction, you did anyways, your eyes roaming everywhere, hesitantly, nervously around his face. And then you finally met his eyes- and saw him lift his hand and one of his fingers lightly grazed the edge of his lips, as if registering that you had...just kissed him.

He met your eyes, and just when you had this horrible feeling to just open the closet doors and run away for your life, Yeosang grabbed your wrist, walking a few inches closer until he pulled you up against the closet wall on your side, and you swore your heart beat right out of your chest, at that moment. He placed his other hand right behind your head, on the wall; and a small smile played at the corner of his lips before chasing your lips once again, completely closing any distance left between the both of you, and kissed you slowly at first, as if savoring you, learning how it feels like to kiss you. You firmly closed your eyes, trying your best to live in this moment, to kiss him back just as sweetly as he did.

A million reasons could have convinced you that Kang Yeosang would have rejected you and that things would never be the same between the both of you again. But not a single reason could have convinced you that here he was, kissing you as if you both were the only people in this world, confessing to you about how much he likes you.

You were so overwhelmed with so many emotions bubbling up inside you, but the only thing you wanted was to kiss kang yeosang until you were breathless, until you felt like passing out. no stopping in between. so, you did.

His lips picked up their pace, now kissing you passionately, hungrily, as if he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life. His hand still held your wrist, and you closed it into a fist, and you just drowned in the sensation Yeosang's lips on yours. He suddenly bit your lower lip with his teeth, and you almost squealed- but regained your composition, and bit his upper lip as revenge. God, he almost moaned into your mouth and you felt your knees go weak. His lips tasted like coffee, the sweet one- like mocha. Mocha was your favorite drink and the fact that yeosang's lips tasted as sweet as mocha.....

The both of you pulled apart minutes later, completely breathless and reaching out for air- although barely any of it could be found in this constricted place. He flashed you a small, satisfied smirk, and your stomach swooned, a strong blush forming on your cheeks. The realization of your first kiss, with yeosang, taking place in the school's hallway closets- had you feeling mixed emotions. Hell, your happiness won out of those emotions, you felt so giddy inside, becuase you had just kissed THE kang yeosang.

"I hated the fact that you looked so nervous after kissing me for the first time, you know." He said, his voice firm.

"I....felt like i never made it clear, or even gave you small hints, that i liked you all along. I wanted to wash all your insecurities, hesitation and nervousness away. So i kissed you until you were breathless, hopefully making my feelings clear. You're just as important to me, like you said, i am to you." He said, holding you chin and softly caressing his thumb over your cheeks.

You melted so badly, at everything going on in this moment- his fingers softly caressing your cheeks, him confessing to you again just to make sure that you knew how much he liked you.

"S-stop saying things like that, and that too so sincerely. I feel like i might have a heart attack. And i like you too, so much that i think i might die." You said, smiling sheepishly.

"Hmm, that sounds like a convincing confession. Does that mean that you might have died if i had rejected you now, instead?" He said, chuckling.

"No, i would have still liked you as much as i always did. I would have never given up, even if you rejected me. I would do everything to make you fall in love with me. I am a stubborn person, you know." You replied, meaning every word you said.

Yeosang placed a soft, subtle kiss on your cheek after your reply, and you witnessed his beautiful, endearing eye smile at that moment, and your heart once again melted into puddles.

You could not believe all this. This was so, different.... he treated you like you were a delicate doll, at this moment, he showered so much love on you, something you would have never expected to happen. What you did expect was the usual cocky face, that usual smirk, that unending teasing, unending random fights. not....what just happened.

"L-lets get out now, we're both sweating like hell. Not really an ideal place to stay in after a confession and a kiss, you know" You said, and Yeosang nodded, peeking through the small hole in the door, making sure no one was present in the hallway. Then, you both got out, taking in the fresh air, as he mumbled "You're the one who bought me in this shitty place. However, the kiss and confession made it worth it." You passed him a smirk and he shrugged.

You both rushed toward your classroom, picked up your bags, and walked down the stairs together, the atmosphere suddenly quiet between the both of you. You tried your best to hide the fact that you just kissed someone, but you couldn't, of course- that dumb, sheepish smile on your face remained, you glancing at yeosang every now and then as you reached the school gates- him looking just as flustered as you.

i can make yeosang flustered, you thought. i have the power to make him go all shy.....

"I got jealous once too, you know." You said, breaking the silence and Yeosang looked up at you, his eyes all curious and wide.

"Don't think you even remember this, since you are so nice to everyone all the time. But you know, when you were walking down the stairs and caught a girl who was just about to fall down? I was jealous, i even wished it was me in that redheads place. I also felt like i had no right to be jealous for you." You admitted, the both of you now standing at the pavement of a street starting from the edge of your school gates.

"Ah, that time? I don't remember much, to be honest, but i had no idea that you were jealous, i don't think i was even aware that you were near me at that time..." Yeosang said, looking apologetic, and it was the first time you had ever seen him look apologetic.

"Of course, you don't remember. You do stuff like this all the time, act so nice and polite towards everyone in school- and become the complete opposite when you're with me. It has changed quite significantly nowadays, though, and now you act nice towards me too." You rambled, almost as if you were talking to yourself.

"I.... didn't know that you paid so much attention to me. Just so you know, i always teased you and fought with you and stuff, because i felt comfortable with you. It's not easy for me to be comfortable with just anyone, so i always act nice to others no matter what because i'm scared i'll disappoint them in some way... i know you won't understand this properly.." He said, and you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as if you understood him.

"I get what you mean. That's why i never really complained about our....relationship. Whenever you acted so differently towards me, it was like you were trusting me with your true, real personality. Maybe that's also one of the reasons that pushed me to confess to you." You admitted.

"I could shower you with a million compliments right now, y/n, but unfortunately, we have to go home... it's too late, but i don't want to let you go just yet." He pouted, and he looked so cute you wanted to pinch his nose. So you did.

"Alright, loverboy. Let's go home and continue this conversation while chatting or on call? My mom's probably wondering where the hell i am." Yeosang pinched your nose in return and you both giggled together, feeling content.

"Reach home safely. I'll call you later, bye." Yeosang waved to you as he parted ways in the opposite direction of yours, a lovesick smile lingering on his lips that you couldn't ignore. You waved back and almost skipped happily on your way home, thinking this might just have been the best day of your life.

Just as you stepped inside your room after washing up, you sat on your bed, pulling out your phone, and right at that time, a message notification popped up.

from kang yeosang. that's how you had saved his name on your phone and you chucked at how... formal it was, his full name and everything. Before checking his message, you went towards th eetings of your chat and added a heart alongside the name "yeosang"

yeosang 💗

heyy

can i call you rn? or later, if you're busy?

you

suree, call me, i'm free rn

i was waiting for ur msg <3

You picked up his call, giving up on the "hi, hello" pleasantries and just starting your conversation because you surely had so much to talk about.

"This might just be the first time i've ever called you. It's so weird but i've wanted to do it since a long time." He chuckled, his voice sounding deep and low, and you felt like your heart was on fire.

"I know, right. All this is so... unusual. We used to be RIVALS, yeosang. and now, today, we....all this..... i can't believe this." You said, finding it unreal that you're even talking with yeosang on the phone, right now.

"Seriously. We still are rivals, though, you're such a smartass and i can't help but get competitive at almost...everything with you. But we can be making out in between all such banters and saying sweet stuff to each other sometimes, i guess."

You laughed at how honest yeosang was and how he worded everything. You realized that you were no better than him because when it came to him, you could just go on rambling forever, saying words that don't make sense sometimes.

"Deal. So i guess we're rivals and lovers at the same time..now." You chuckled at how absurd that sounded, but it was true.

"That's right, y/n. Ah shoot, i have to go now, wooyoung's practically screaming at me over texts when i told him about our kiss and confession today." There was a hint of panic in yeosang's voice and you found it cute.

"OH FUCK. That reminds me how i have to tell Jia about this, too. Talk to you later, rival slash lover boy." Jia would practically call you and scream at you at this, just like wooyoung. they truly do suit each other....

"That was a little- nevermind. Bye, rival slash lover girl." He replied, waiting for you to cut the phone, so you did, although it was painful and you could keep listening to his voice forever.

And as expected, Jia was so pumped up after heating your events of the day with yeosang, she screamed so loud, saying "FREAKING FINALLY, YOU DUMBASS" your ears might've been permanently damaged at this point. But she said how happy she was for you and how she'll kick yeosang's ass if he ever makes you sad, and you thanked her for that.

Everything was so much for you to take in. But suddenly, everything felt right, everything felt like normal, at the same time. It was like you were meant to be, together with yeosang, although you were his rival.

The playful banters and teasing could go on and on in your relationship, along with the both of you doing the things a couple does, successfully planting in a healthy relationship.

You felt blessed to have such a person in your life, someone like yeosang, who made your life so interesting, so exciting, someone who made you look forward to waking up in the morning and someone who was now yoir boyfriend.

Boyfriend, yeosang.....hmm. I like the sound of that. You thought, giddily grabbing your pillow and practically squealing because of how happy and content you were.

but of course, not content just yet. there were so many things to do with yeosang, now that you both were a couple- go on dates everywhere, kiss all the time, make love, say that you love each other a hundred times...

you were not ready but were ready at the same time, for the upcoming chapters of your life with kang yeosang, your now rival slash lover boy- moments that you were sure would make you feel like you're living the best life possible because you're living them with yeo.

A/N ^^^ - a possible upcoming extra scene coming up for this one, which I will include in another post later <3 because I felt like the ending was pretty rushed but I will make it up to you guys later, I promise. it's just because I felt like this fic was getting way too long and it'd be too much for y'all to read ;(

likes, reblongs, comments and follows are always immensely appreciated, dear reader, thank you so much for reading my fic!! :)

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feverishly-kpop · 1 day

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Feverish Ateez Headcanons

Hongjoong

Hongjoong simply doesn’t have time to be sick. Ironically, however, it’s his workaholic tendencies that wear down his immune system, leaving him vulnerable to whatever bug is going around. He’ll try to hide it but won’t make it very long because, when he gets sick, he gets SICK. It’s never just a cold, it’s a full blown flu. Never a slight fever, but a shivering-sweating-can’t get out of bed-somebody make everything stop spinning fever. Despite the severity of his illness, Hongjoong needs constant reassuring that work is continuing to get done and that his dongsaengs are taken care of. Seonghwa has been known to instruct the rest of the members to stay tight lipped around Hongjoong when he’s sick, not wanting to stress him out any more than he already inevitably is.

Seonghwa

Putting himself first is a concept foreign to Seonghwa. If a member is sick it’s almost a guarantee that Seonghwa will be at their side making sure their every need is met, even when that means sleepless nights and long days. As far as he’s concerned, that is his job as the oldest hyung, but it’s only a matter of time before he has pushed himself to the brink emotionally and physically and falls miserably ill himself. Even then, however, he’ll keep testing his limits until he is incapable of continuing, at which point he will retreat to his own room where he’ll attempt to reject any efforts taken by the others to care for him. That is, he’ll try until Hongjoong pulls rank as leader, leaving Seonghwa no other choice but to acquiesce.

Yunho

Yunho absolutely hates feeling vulnerable which pairs very poorly with the fact that his fevers come on quickly and always run high - high enough that he immediately feels sluggish and dazed as soon as his temperature starts rising. That’s why Seonghwa or Hongjoong tend to realize that Yunho’s sick before Yunho realizes it himself, but from there things go downhill rapidly, leaving him achy, confused, and all around miserable. The members know to handle a sick Yunho with kid gloves, fully aware that Yunho likely has no idea what is going on around him. Seonghwa seems to have the magic touch when it comes to getting him to settle down, especially after he’s woken up by a particularly disquieting fever dream or nightmare.

Yeosang

A sick Yeosang is a grumpy Yeosang. The members can always immediately tell when he’s coming down with something because his usually sweet demeanor turns sour at the drop of a dime. The minute that he’s sent home from work or sent back to bed he makes no effort to hide how resentful he is. Of course he knows that it’s nobody’s fault that he is sick but that doesn’t change how frustrated he gets when he’s feeling “left out.” Everybody knows to give Yeosang time and space to sulk but, by the end of the day, either Wooyoung or Jongho has climbed into bed with him, partially because they know how badly the chills hit him when he has a fever, but mostly because nobody can stand seeing him so upset for too long.

San

San truly and honestly does not know when to stop. Even if he did, he doesn’t particularly know how to stop. He will continue to work through just about anything until his body finally quits on him. Best case scenario - he sits down and can’t get back up again. Worst case scenario - he faints. Both of which the members have witnessed too many times. Each and every time San thinks the embarrassment of this episode will be enough to keep him from going too far again, but somehow it never does. Once he’s been tucked safely in bed where the team knows he can’t do any further damage to himself, it usually only takes a matter of minutes before Yeosang or Wooyoung receive a text sheepishly asking them to come lie down with him so he has somebody to hold while he sleeps. Unless Yunho’s already asleep, in which case San simply invites himself into Yunho’s bed and wraps his arms around him, often times not even stirring Yunho awake.

Mingi

When Mingi is sick he just wants to be left in peace, quiet, and solitude. He’s insecure about letting people see him sick. It feels too close to showing weakness for his comfort. He knows it worries the other members but it is just easier that way for him. Mingi tends to push his boundaries. It isn’t that he doesn’t know what his boundaries are, he is extremely self aware in that respect. He simply values his art over just about everything, often including his health, and struggles to apply the brakes when he goes too far. But once he’s able to ground himself again he’ll see to it that he has what he needs and surrender to some rest. The members have come to respect his need for space, even the hyungs who fought him on it for quite some time before meeting in the middle - as long as Mingi was actually taking care of himself they’d allow it, with the caveat that the door opens if and when he gets too sick to be alone. Luckily for him, however, his symptoms tend to be milder than some of the other members when he falls ill.

Wooyoung

Wooyoung is rubbish at listening to the signals his body gives him when he needs a break and coming down with a fever is no exception. He’ll work until Hongjoong, Seonghwa, or Yunho realize that something is off and bench him, which will make him emotional 110% of the time, convinced that he’s being forced to sit down because he was underperforming and disappointing the rest of the team. His emotions typically remain dysregulated until his fever breaks and the members have a difficult time calming him down once he’s upset. They can always count on lots of tears. Without fail, he craves attention from Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yeosang and wants nothing more than to cuddle and, of course, nobody can say no to Wooyoung.

Jongho

Do. Not. Baby. Jongho. He is independent and that doesn’t change in the slightest when he’s running a fever. He’ll avoid his hyungs at all costs and, when he does happen to come across one as will inevitably happen despite his best efforts, he tends to be distant, citing somewhere he has to be to do something important that he’s running late for. Eventually he’ll break though, once he’s worn himself down enough. Then he’ll slink back home and snuggle into the side of the closest hyung he can find. Jongho doesn’t have to say a word, they all know by now that this is standard operating procedure when Jongho isn’t feeling well. He truly doesn’t care which hyung he finds first, as long as they don’t say “I told you so.”

#kpop sickfic #kpop fluff #sickfic #ateez fluff #ateez sickfic #ateez headcanons #headcanon #sick headcanons #fluff headcanons

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eightmakesonebraincell · 6 months

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ateez as royals who fall for you (hyung line)

read maknae line here

genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes

length: 12.8k

c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)

a/n: this has simultaneously been the pride and joy of my life and the bane of my entire existence for the last 2.5 months 🥴 and tumblr is an inept incapable CLOWN who cannot handle the full 24k worth of bullet points so here is the hyung line first - maknae line coming soon (yumi @sorryimananti-romantic can vouch for my unsuccessful 3-hour attempt at formatting them into a single post)

hongjoong

pov: you're the king's royal courtesan

“fuck,” hongjoong lets out a deep growl from within his chest as his head dips down to rest against the crook of your neck. “you’re just as tight as last time”

when your hips involuntarily buck from the pleasure, he nudges your thighs further apart and keeps your wrists pinned above your head

he can’t help but let out another groan when he feels your walls clench around his cock as you adjust to his thickness

“i thought- god,” a moan escapes you after he thrusts his hips against you, “thought you never fucked the same woman twice”

“i don’t,” he simply says

and it’s true

hongjoong is one of the youngest princes to have ruled during the kim dynasty, having risen to power after the previous king succumbed early to an unknown illness

he has the choice and selection of all the courtesans available within the palace and outside its walls

hongjoong also has a reputation of being highly sought after by everybody, not just amongst courtesans

it’s not only because he is devilishly handsome, knows how to properly fuck somebody dumb, and is the literal king

the main thing that makes him so desirable and unreachable?

he never sees the same courtesan more than once

“yet here you are,” you hook your legs around hongjoong’s waist to gain leverage and meet his thrusts with your own hips, “between my legs for the second time”

you smirk when he curses and throws his head back

his grip on your wrists tightens and his voice drops dangerously low

“the first time doesn’t count because i was meant to see lady chae. so really, this is the first time i’m requesting for your services”

he silences you from retorting by pressing a bruising kiss against you, lips messily attaching to yours before trailing down the sharp angle of your jaw to bite your neck

you are a courtesan for people of nobility and royal status

part of the ‘house of flowers’ and commonly referred to as ‘flower courtesans’, you and the other women are highly-sought after for the companionship you offer

you are well protected by the house of flowers though - the services of companionship that you provide is requested by your client, but is ultimately accepted or rejected by you

lady chae, another of the flower courtesans and one of your closest friends, is requested by the king for her services

it is quite clear what it is going to entail and you both spend several of the following nights giggling and whispering scandalously to one another

whether the rumours about his stamina will be true

whether lady chae will be the first to break his one-fuck rule

except when the day of the meeting comes around, she spikes a sudden fever

lady shin, the head of the house of flowers, takes all but one look at her before ordering her to bed rest despite both of your attempts to, albeit unconvincingly, persuade lady shin that chae’s fever would only serve to help make the king’s dick warmer

lady shin is not amused to say the least

with the last minute hitch, the king agrees for you to be sent out to him as a replacement instead

and you end up being the flower courtesan who he breaks his reputed rule for

(lady chae is initially jealous, understandably)

(but very quickly, she appears to be even more excited than you are as she combs through your undergarments for the “sluttiest set” that she can find)

your attention is brought back as hongjoong flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, continuing to drag his length in and out of you while your back arches off the bed

you tease in between short breaths, “are you really bringing up another woman’s name while you have your cock inside me?”

“you brought it up first,” he reminds you, accentuating his answer with timed thrusts

you grind your hips against his, chasing more friction against your clit as you feel your high approaching

“why?” he snakes one of his hands down between your connected torsos to rub messy circles against your clit, smirking as he asks, “are you getting jealous already?”

for that, you clench down hard on his cock, immediately feeling the way it throbs inside of you as you bring him closer to his orgasm too

“as if. fuck off”

your words are hardly audible from the whines that are leaving your mouth due to the added pressure of another finger against your clit from your retaliation

“i’m close,” hongjoong releases his grip on your wrists so that he can straighten his body, anchoring his hand on your hip instead so that he can fuck you and rub your clit with his other hand with renewed vigour

when you hear him groan, “cum for me,” the string snaps and your whole body quivers in his hold as your orgasm washes over you

hongjoong’s hips gradually stutter to a pause, an occasional thrust inside your clenching pussy as he milks out the rest of his cum inside of you

he finally eases himself out of you and hums in satisfaction as he watches his cum slowly leak out of you

hongjoong drops down beside you, toned chest covered in a sheen layer of sweat as it rises up and down with his pants

when your fuzzy mind has cleared a little from the blissful haze of your orgasm, he strokes his fingertips along the side of your thigh, along the curve of your ass, and over the dip of your waist just under your breasts as he says, “you better not be jealous. first one to get jealous loses”

“if anyone’s going to get jealous first, it’s you,” you scoff back

he raises an eyebrow

oh yeah?

he shoves his leaking cum back inside of you and fingers you to another orgasm

now that shuts you up

for a man who barks, he sure has no bite, because you find yourself being notified by lady shin several days later of yet another request for your services under the king’s name

and another request turns into another

and every single time, hongjoong makes sure that the only word leaving your lips for those many hours is his moaned name

but at the same time, the more you and hongjoong meet, the more he just savours in your simple companionship

he asks you to teach him how to embroider because you’ve mentioned before it’s how you like to spend your free evenings

he rifles through your bag of materials that you bring

you smack his hand away at the carelessness with which he’s upturning everything

“what’s this?” he holds up a large, wooden hoop before trying to fit it through his head, “a necklace?”

“i wonder if people know they appointed an idiot to be king,” you say as you gently unscrew the hoops and demonstrate how to align a piece of fabric between the rings

he watches with interest as you screw the outer hoop tighter until the fabric is nice and taut and then repeat the process so you both have one to work with

you have to help hongjoong thread his needle too, because apparently the king’s fingers are only good for scissoring you open

you weave your own needle through the fabric at a slow pace whilst telling him the different names and uses of the stitches you’re showing him

except, when you look up to see if he’s following?

his own hoop has been abandoned to one side and he’s leaning against his hand as he gazes cheekily at you

“were you even paying attention?”

he sounds a little too confident when he answers not at all

in return, hongjoong shows you how to write hanja the next time you meet

he positions himself behind you with his hand over yours as he guides you through different characters stroke by stroke

he claims that there are specific ways of applying pressure to the brush so he has to be holding your hand at all times

you most definitely roll your eyes several times but you indulge him anyway

there are a lot of giggles and teasing pushes when you accidentally dip the end of your sleeve into the ink and you try to spread it onto his robes too

(the calligraphy may or may not become forgotten when hongjoong pins you down to stop your cheeky behaviour, because things naturally escalate whenever he has you under him)

you two do eventually manage to finish one decent-looking scroll of characters which he ends up gifting you so that you ‘don’t forget’ about him when you’re not with him

when you walk back into the house of flowers, the hanging scroll perks lady shin’s interest as you walk past

“hongjoong taught me how to write my name today”

lady shin waggles her eyebrows at you suggestively because of how casually you refer to the king, for which you nudge her with a shoulder

she laughs then asks to have a look

you unravel the paper to show her but then she makes a funny noise

“that’s not your name? these are the characters for- oh,” she cackles scandalously to herself, as if she has made a secret discovery

“what does it mean?” you hurry to clarify

you wouldn’t put it past him to have taught you a crude phrase instead, like ‘best tits’ or ‘biggest ass’

lady shin lets out an amused exhale, handing the scroll back to you

“it says, my flower”

you’re looking at those exact characters from where you lay on your bed when a knock sounds on your door several days later

lady shin steps into your room with a warm smile as you greet her

“you have an appointment with lord min tomorrow, but the king has just inquired about your service availability for tomorrow,” she informs you. “would you like me to give him the usual answer?”

this isn’t the first time a clash has occurred, particularly with the increasing frequency with which hongjoong requests to see you

you have always told lady shin to ask for hongjoong’s pardon and to offer him an alternative time or day, because in the end, you still need to maintain a professional and admirable reputation as a flower courtesan

and as you open your mouth to tell her ‘yes’, your eye catches the scroll hanging on your wall

my flower

you hesitate

“actually,” you look away from the hanja, “i’ll see hongjoong.”

lady shin gives you a motherly smile as she nods in understanding and closes the door behind her

the next day you see him, he excitedly points out the large tambour frame in his room that he bought just a few days prior, claiming you two can work on a big embroidery patch together now

you give him one look then demote him back to the small embroidery hoop because he still hasn’t learnt his basic stitches yet

(that’ll teach him to not pay attention when you’re demonstrating, ha)

you relent and end up going through the different stitches with him again anyway

and you find that he’s actually not that bad with embroidery once he’s actually focused on the task at hand

it’s nice, basking in each other's presence while he threads his little square of fabric and you work with the large frame you have now essentially claimed as yours

not that hongjoong minds; he did buy it solely to make you happy

and then you offhandedly mention that someone had gifted you a handkerchief with your initials embroidered on one of the corners the other day

“i actually have it on me, in fact,” and you take it out from where it’s tucked into your waist so that you can show him

he juts out his chin as he peers down at the delicate letters, huffing, “it’s pretty, i guess”

then as an afterthought he tacks on, “bet i could do a better job”

“are you jealous right now, kim hongjoong?”

said man is hellbent on avoiding your eyes as he picks up his needle and thread again

“no i’m not!”

“whatever you say,” you smirk

after that day though, you don’t receive another request from hongjoong to meet until two weeks later

which, in the grand scheme of things, really isn’t much

but in comparison to the frequency at which you are used to seeing him, the frequency at which your body is used to having him, it is much too long

you are almost beginning to wonder whether you shouldn’t have brought up the handkerchief gift

yet, he greets you with his usual teasing squeeze of your waist, dangerously close to your ass

you make a move to follow him through the doors to his chambers but he turns around to produce a silk cloth

he starts to blindfold you, whispering sultrily, “i have a surprise for you”

you feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise at his tone

guiding you inside, hongjoong gently pushes you down so that you sink into the plush duvet of his bed

“do you trust me?” he whispers

trying not to dwell on the urge to lick your dry lips, you answer, “of course”

you feel him tugging slowly on the string that holds the front of your corset together, loosening your dress with tenderness like you are a fragile gift

you shiver when your shoulders are suddenly exposed to the cold air

and then the sensation is followed by the warmth of hongjoong’s soft exhales along the expanse of your collarbones as he leans closer to fully disrobe your shoulders

you have to remind yourself to keep breathing

“you can look now,” he tells you

you remove the silk cloth from around your eyes, unsure of what to expect

it takes a few blinks to readjust your vision to the room around you but then your eyes finally focus

and you gasp

there, hung on the wall with its striking viridian green, shimmering threads and intricate swirls on glorious display, is quite possibly the most stunning dress you have ever laid eyes upon

“try it on,” he encourages

but as you step closer, you realise the lacing across the front of the corset and running down the sleeves of the top dress is in fact, not lacing

it’s patchy

it’s uneven

it has empty areas

but it is no doubt embroidery

“did you…did you make this?” you reach out a hand to lightly caress one of the embroidered flowers, not quite daring to believe that hongjoong would go to these lengths for you

“of course,” he wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a light kiss against your temple, “i’m not losing to a lousy handkerchief”

“is that why you disappeared for two weeks?”

you let out a laugh, sinking into his embrace, because the image of the great king holed up in his chambers for days on end, hunched over your dress with a needle, thread and frown on his face is just too endearing

he lets out a warning huff as he turns you around in his embrace to face him

upturning his hands, he shows you the tips of his fingers and grumbles, “i poked myself so many times for you and you laugh at me?”

you bring his hands closer to your face, pressing light kisses to his fingertips as you smile, “thank you, joong. i love it so much, i really do”

he looks at you impossibly soft

under his tender gaze, something suddenly rushes to your very core

you hold one his hands steady in front of your lips then swirl your tongue out in an experimental lick over his fingers

it’s almost captivating how quickly his pupils dilate and zero in on your tongue

so you dare to bring his fingers into your mouth

you suck on them a little harder

a little deeper

and then you moan around his fingers, “i want you”

he lets out a groan himself, feeling the front of his breeches tighten as his cock twitches

“i- fuck, i didn’t give the dress to you in hopes that it would lead to this,” yet despite his words he is stepping you backwards so that he can pin you against the wall

“i know, but i want you,” you palm his growing bulge, your knees going weak at how hard he already is. “and i need you. now.”

he doesn’t need further encouragement

he shoves the remainder of your clothes aside before inserting his fingers roughly between your folds

it doesn’t take long for him to bring you to your first orgasm, curling his fingers relentlessly as you ride them

he spreads your cum over your pussy and you buck your hips with a whine when he circles over your clit briefly

then he’s turning you around and bending you over, one of your hands bracing against the wall, your other arm held behind your back by hongjoong’s firm grasp

“fuck, you’re so wet,” his whole body shivers with pleasure as his cock slips right into you

the obscene sounds of his hips slapping against your ass and your slick being pushed back into your hole over and over again fill the room

and to the clenching of your pussy from another orgasm, hongjoong also cums into you with a guttural groan of your name

he gently carries you to his bed and lays you on top of the covers

he leaves your side for a moment and you listen to him rummage through something while you try to regain control of your quaking legs

when he comes back, you feel him gently spreading your legs and then the ticklish sensation of a soft cloth along your inner thighs

a whine escapes your lips when he rubs over your sensitive clit and hongjoong grips your thigh a little tighter

“be careful what pretty sounds you’re making if you can’t handle another round”

it isn’t until he finishes cleaning you up and lies down next to you to start wiping himself down that you look over and realise what it is that he’s been using this whole time

your mouth drops in disbelief

when hongjoong notices your expression, he smirks, “the man who gave you this has no idea his handkerchief is being used to clean my cum off your thighs”

“hongjoong!” you flush with a laugh. “you are definitely jealous, aren’t you?”

“yes, i’m fucking jealous,” he growls, “you’re the only one i want. you’re the only woman i’ve been requesting for since i’ve seen you. and i want to be the only one who gets to have you, too”

you confess, “well, you can have all of me. because i’ve started refusing other people just for you”

he looks at you for another moment before he’s suddenly straddling your hips

“change of plans,” he says breathily, “i need you again”

“very good plan,” you grind up against him

and then you pause, mirth starting to bubble in your throat, “one last thing though”

hongjoong looks down with amusement in his own eyes, wondering what could possibly be so funny

“that handkerchief?” you start, struggling not to laugh when his eyes immediately narrow, “i never said it was from a man. it was a gift from lady chae”

seonghwa

pov: you're his royal guard

as soon as you notice the movement out of the corner of your eye, your body reacts straight away

you murmur seonghwa’s name with a tight voice and move to position yourself in front of him, unwilling to risk the prince’s safety

one of your hands grasps the hilt of your sword, ready to unsheathe it at the first sign of danger, as your calculative gaze darts between the two young men stumbling closer on the dirt path and the line of forest trees from which they appear

they are wearing simple tunics and breeches with their colour faded and seams loosening from wear

from what you can discern, they are simply commoners, but that does not rule out the possibility that they are bandits

seonghwa seems to think otherwise, though

unsurprising but still grating

the prince places his hand on your shoulder gently in a silent reassurance and request for you to step aside

albeit reluctantly, you force yourself to move to his left

it becomes clear to you as the two figures stop just shy of a few feet away that the term ‘men’ was pushing it - their faces are young and they appear to be no older than seventeen or eighteen

the young strangers dip their head in greeting, one of them apologising as well as he pulls out a tattered map that he extends out for you two to see

“my companion and i are traveling to the village norshaw but seem to have lost our way. would you be able to point us in the right direction?” the one with the map asks

“of course,” seonghwa offers with a kind smile

you watch as the three of them step closer together to look more closely at the map

on high alert, and just as you are predicting, you see the companion shuffle closer to seonghwa, hand inching towards the leather pouch that hangs from the prince’s belt

you catch the subtle motion of seonghwa’s eyes flickering down just an inch

because of how well you understand his body language, you know that it means he has already noticed the thieving intention

but because of how well you understand seonghwa, you know that he isn’t going to do anything about it either

so you strike in his stead

your hand darts out to snatch the thieve’s wrist, twisting his forearm upwards so that he is forced to lean awkwardly towards one side to prevent his elbow from snapping

his partner drops the map, letting out a string of curses and hesitating for all but three seconds before he turns around to flee

scoffing, you threaten the one who is still in your hold, who then bolts with his tail between his legs after you release him

"did you really need to scare them off like that? it's not like i had any money in the pouch anyway," seonghwa chastises with a chuckle

"yes," you deadpan. "i did not spend the last two hours of our trip pausing every fifty meters to wait for you to pick up a rock because you thought it looked pretty, only for them to be stolen by a pair of petty thieves"

"it would have been funny to imagine their faces after realising what they stole," seonghwa grins

“mhm,” you hum, “and the next thing you know, you’ll wake up to your palace ransacked, because word in town is that you can steal from the prince and get away with it”

he levels you with a boyish scowl, “you’re so dramatic. what are you, my mother?”

“no, but i am your royal bodyguard”

“exactly. you are my bodyguard, not my brainguard. if i am to be swindled of my pretty rocks, then so be it”

you roll your eyes out of exasperation, but everything is swiftly forgotten minutes later when you point out a heart-shaped rock and seonghwa rushes over to pick it up

it has been like this ever since the incident occurred - him, the sunshine; you, the sunshine protector

it has been almost four years since it happened

somebody had attempted arsenic poisoning of not only seonghwa, but also those working under him

you had noticed strange discolouring of the silverware in the kitchen and on the table serving his dinner, which prompted an investigation and subsequent discovery of the perpetrator

an act of betrayal and treachery by one of his closest relatives - his very own uncle

seonghwa was - still is - too merciful and tender-hearted to punish his uncle, even if the severity of his uncle’s crimes warranted execution

to have his trust broken so shatteringly hurt seonghwa more than if he were to actually have been poisoned

you still remember like it was yesterday; the sight of the prince slumped against the wall, weighed down by chains of turmoil and despair as whispers fly through the palace of the weak-hearted prince who is unable to deliver fair judgement

it is the sight of the prince looking so small and lost that drives your feet forward to stand before him

as the soft draught coming through the windows tugs gently on your tresses and the flickers of candlelight illuminate the glint of steel in your hand, you make a decision

“i’ll be your sword,” you pledge

not just as his royal guard, but as his haven when he is forced to face corruption and wickedness

and when you see the way his shoulders immediately sag with relief at your declaration, the way he nods like a child who has been reassured that everything will be okay, you tell yourself that seonghwa will never have to dirty his hands as long as you are with him

you will be the dark to his light; the yin to his yang

quietly, you see to it that his uncle is executed for his crimes - your statement to the rest of the palace that prince seonghwa is not to be mocked

neither of you bring it up again, but seonghwa knows

he pulls you into a wholehearted hug, arms enveloping you securely as his chest shakes with shuddering breaths of thank you over and over again

you rub your hand up and down his sturdy back soothingly

it is an action that simultaneously reciprocates his embrace and his crossed line of professionalism

one that starts the shift in dynamic between you both, boundaries of sought comfort blurring with friendship and then something more

where seonghwa is too trusting and too soft-spoken, you become his skepticism and his voice

“you should be more wary of others,” you always remind him

“and you should be more trusty of others,” he’ll retort

yet, he will never make a decision that does not receive your input nor one that you do not agree with

where seonghwa is too gentle and too humble, you become his sword and his shield

you do not waver when you strike down foe, and friends turned foe alike

you speak up and establish firm boundaries when others take advantage of the respect he shows everybody regardless of their class or status

and yet, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s condescension or discriminatory treatment, be it due to your rank as a guard or identity as a woman, seonghwa will be advancing forward to defend you before you can do so yourself

where seonghwa is too innocent and too bushy-tailed, you become his eyes and his caution

your morning walks together always last for longer than they are scheduled for

he stops to watch every butterfly and bumblebee that flutters along the flowery path, and he waits for caterpillars to crawl onto a leaf that he holds by the stem so that he can move the critters off the pathway

you love to watch him and his glittering eyes, his cheeks rosy from happiness and from the air still crisp with morning dew

but you also make sure to watch his surroundings with greater vigilance because the quiet peace that the freshly awoken sun brings simultaneously increases the likelihood of a targeted attack against him

as much as you rib him for being a marshmallow personified, however, and as much as he banters back that you are more than welcome to resign at any time, neither of you want it any other way

seonghwa carries out a lot of gestures that he justifies to himself as being eternally grateful for you and the things you do for him

he likes to gift you flowers he has plucked from his garden or the bushes he walks past that remind him of you

(“that’s actually just a very pretty-looking weed, but thank you, seonghwa,” you tell him on more than one occasion)

(it’s adorable, because the next time he finds a flower, he goes to the length of certifying that it is indeed a flower with the merchant who sells bouquets in the nearby town before presenting it to you, eyes gleaming with pride)

you stand still and let him tuck a flower behind your ear, sometimes braiding your hair gently so that he can weave and secure the stem into your hair, holding your breath as his features fill with the same enrapturement that he would admire a beautiful artwork with

after you voice this out one day, seonghwa supposes to himself that there is not much difference between an artwork and you

not that he’s attracted to you or anything - you just…have an objectively attractive face

yes.

especially when your usually-piercing expression is softened by fatigue, guard no longer up as you sleep slumped over a desk while accompanying him during his late night of studies

he does not realise his feet have moved until he is right beside your resting form, as if the soft exhales escaping from your slightly parted lips are a siren’s song

seonghwa tenderly brushes your stray locks away from your face and behind your neck

except he forgets to account for the fact that you are trained to sleep on the brink of consciousness

the squeal that leaves his mouth when your reflexes kick in and you almost slit his throat resounds at a frequency so high you almost believe it comes from your own mouth

you have a grand time watching his beet red face stutter out an excuse as to what exactly he was doing so close to you

needless to say, that is the last time seonghwa ever tries to do anything while you are sleeping

but as much as he bumbles around, he also reveals his perceptiveness when you least expect it

like now, as you accompany the prince to one of his meetings with numerous advisors and ministers

it is relatively dull and uneventful, mostly a cordial appearance to maintain amicable and loyal relationships with his subjects

conversation is limited to pleasantries and at one point, seonghwa even points out the calligraphy paintings hung at the back of the room

everyone nods with throaty laughs as if the paintings are indeed the most exquisite and tasteful artworks they have ever laid their eyes upon

when you and seonghwa arrive back at his chambers following the conclusion of the meeting, he walks over to his bed and shakes the sleeves of his robe over the expanse of his duvet

and out drops a neatly-wrapped sweet, followed by another, then another, until there are enough to amount to two handfuls

baffled, you look at seonghwa, because these are the very same treats that had been plated on the tables during the meeting

“you smuggled candy out of the room?” you try to keep the amusement out of your voice

he peers into his sleeves to ensure there are no more stragglers, before turning to face you as he waves his hands over the small collection of goods on his bed

as if they are-

“for you!” he exclaims almost proudly. “i saw you eyeing them during the meeting so i took some for you”

okay

most definitely proudly

you feel something tickling you from within, as if he has reached through your chest to directly caress your heart with a delicate finger

“when did you even…” your voice trails off when it comes out a little fonder than you are expecting it to

“remember the paintings i pointed out?” seonghwa giggles, and you think that the hand in your chest is now cradling your heart completely. “i swiped the sweets when everyone was looking back at them”

“thank you, hwa,” you settle on saying, because you do not trust yourself to say anything else

that is more than enough for him, though

which, of course it is - this is seonghwa, with his huge heart that fills easily with the smallest of things

he eagerly hands you one of the treats and you unwrap it to place into your mouth

you’ve had these before, but this one that he has specially grabbed for you tastes remarkably sweeter

you wonder if his lips will taste the same…

but then you accidentally bite your tongue, hard enough to draw blood, and you realise just how wrong you are for letting those fleeting thoughts into your mind

because while you navigate the world in thick droplets of red and sharp glints of silver, seonghwa sees the world in soft hues of pastel and gleaming rays of yellow

how could the two palettes ever blend together harmoniously?

so instead, you grant yourself one last moment of selfishness and pull him into a hug, a gesture that toes the already shaky borders of professionalism yet can still be excused under the guise of friendship

you realise that he has always meant much more to you, but that is what this will stay as - a mere realisation

seonghwa wraps his arms around your form as he relaxes into the way your bodies naturally meld together

it’s strange how easily you slot into his life, his thoughts, his heart

he wonders whether it’s possible for feelings of appreciation to run so deeply and potently within somebody, like a drug that he cannot get enough of

and when you take a step away from him, leaving his chest feeling physically and emotionally empty, he wonders if he is perhaps…

in love with you

following that incident, it is almost as if a switch flips - both of you take several steps away from the line that has been danced around

but neither of you notice the distance because you are both consumed by your own thoughts

until one of your usual morning walks around the castle walls of his palace

seonghwa is wondering whether the bushes you walk past remind you of the flowers he used to gift you and you are debating whether to reach out to brush a petal out of his half ponytail

then, like deja vu, your eyes flicker towards the burst of movement as a figure covered in black comes darting forwards with their blade raised intended for murder

you immediately start to unsheathe your sword, feet poised and prepared to defend-

until you are harshly tugged back and the prince steps in front of you to parry the strike that the assassin tries to land

it takes your lifetime of training and experience to snap back into focus and thrust your sword into the enemy’s exposed side

when you are sure he is dead, you whirl around to descend upon seonghwa with a voice trembling from both anger and relief

“what in the world were you thinking?” you yell

“i-”

taking a step forward, you toss your sword to one side, “no, actually. you weren’t thinking at all”

“i was afraid that you would get hurt!” he takes his own step closer

“that is my duty!” the volume of your voice raises even more. “i am willing to lay down my life to ensure your safety! i have been guarding you for years now and you have never acted this way. what has changed?”

for a moment, the only sound that punctuates the silence is your harsh breathing

seonghwa swallows

“my feelings…” he whispers, a stark contrast to the peak of emotions you have been riding. “my feelings for you have changed”

your throat tightens at his words

it is your turn to whisper, a noise of confusion leaving your lips

he takes another step closer, bringing himself to stand right in front of you as he looks down earnestly into your eyes

“i’d rather be the protector, and you be the protected”

“but…why?” your heart races with anticipation

“because i’m in love with you”

right at the invisible border that has been separating you two for as long as you have been his guard, seonghwa now stands, hands wringing together as he awaits a response

“then that makes the two of us,” you confess

you step forward to take your familiar spot on the other side of the line, except this time you do not stop

you stride over the boundary completely to stand by his side

raising yourself onto your tiptoes, you pull him down slightly by the front of his doublet so that you can press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips

it stretches wider and curves upwards under the nurturing of your own smile

you can’t help but give him another kiss on the other side of his mouth to match the one you just gave him

“from now on,” seonghwa starts, “i’ll be your sword”

you wouldn’t really, and you will fight him to let you continue being his guard, but that doesn’t stop one last teasing question from escaping you

“does this mean i get to retire?”

yunho

pov: you're part of a rebel group

the crown prince is not in his fucking library

for the past three weeks, the crown prince has always been in the royal library at night

until today

under normal circumstances, his royal guards and staff would be alerted to ensure that the deviance in routine is a conscious decision and not an issue of the crown prince missing

except doing that would make your job significantly harder…

considering you have been ordered to assassinate him.

you’re part of the ‘red sun’, a revolutionary movement aiming to overthrow the current monarch

following the debilitating state of the king after falling ill and the subsequent coronation of queen jeong into power, she has since then established numerous royal decrees to keep everyone under her reign on a tight leash

a leash made of barbed wire

people are quick to become resentful and thirsty for an end to the dictatorship and bloodline

although he has made limited public appearances, the crown prince has also developed a reputation rivaling the queen’s

within the second year of the jeong dynasty, red sun has already amassed a multitude of supporters

the focus is currently on growing in numbers, preparing for an imminent revolution and picking off corrupt royals and noblists, be it through incrimination or assassination

dealing with those in positions of higher power is a task only completed by an elite selection of red sun rebels who have distinguished skills and traits that set them apart from peasants and commoners

and you are amongst the elite team

which is why you find yourself staking out on the tiled roof of the imperial palace, clothed in black with a mask and hooded cowl covering your face that blends you in with the darkness of night, on the orders of a higher-up to assassinate the crown prince

except the target is missing; the information you were given is wrong

which never happens

you can’t risk staying around for much longer, especially now that the crown prince has broken his routine

he could be anywhere and so could his royal guards

you shift your body to a crouch and place your hands on the cool tiles beneath you, ready to leave

only to spot a figure, crouched just like you are, on the opposite side of the roof

their face is a black hole of nothing within the shrouded confines of their hood, but you can feel their gaze piercing into you all the same

you run

you scramble to the edge of the roof and nimbly leap off the curved eaves to the neighbouring structure of the study room

when you glance backwards, you see the man - physique now obvious - is keeping up easily along the stepping stones of roofs

this game of cat and mouse isn’t going to work for long

if you don’t get caught by him first, you’re both going to get caught by the palace guards

so you make a split decision and alter your next trajectory lower

keeping your arms outstretched for the eaves, you grab on tightly when your fingers touch the edge of the roof and use your core to kick your legs up to stop your body from slamming into the wall from the momentum of your jump

you let go and drop to the ground like a feline, noiseless, and slink towards a line of trees

then you wait

he’s good, you note to yourself, when the only sound that alerts you to his presence is the quick scuffle of his feet as he softens his impact against the wall and the muted thud of his body landing on the ground

“state your purpose,” he demands, voice low yet firm

you ignore him to ask, “who are you?”

now up close, you can see that the man is wearing attire almost the same as you are, identity also hidden by the his bandana and hood-

wait

even the dark red stitching that subtly replaces the original seam on the right shoulder of his outer clothing is the same

the same as those on the elite team

“one of you,” he confirms your suspicions

except you don’t recognise his voice nor his build

being one of the earliest members of the rebel organisation, you are familiar with all the members who carry out missions like yours

he is not one of them; not one you can trust yet

when you don’t speak, he adds on, “we need to go. the safehouse might be in danger”

he refers to the two of you so easily, as if you and him are an unspoken team

you cannot trust this man until you know for sure he is part of red sun, so you ask him

“when is red most beautiful?”

it is a vague question with a fixed answer

one that reflects the heart of the revolutionary itself

during the sunrise of a new beginning

“during the sunrise of a new beginning,” the man says resolutely

the tension releases from your shoulders

“okay,” you opt to abandon your original mission. “let’s check on the safehouse”

the man offers you a hand to hike yourself up onto one of the outer walls of the palace before he jumps up himself with ease

you both flip over the top and land in unison

the moon illuminates the ground beneath your feet as you both sprint into the surrounding forest

the safehouse is really just a small hut situated far enough from the palace to stay inconspicuous, yet not close enough to the outer borders of the kingdom to risk discovery by the frequent border patrols

you both slow down as you approach the clearing, steadying your breaths and treading with cautious steps

and then you hear it

the shattering clang of a desperate parry

all it takes is a quick glance at the man by your side before your eyes harden with purpose and your steps are dashing in unison towards the hut

you’re both hit with the smell of a metallic tang in the air, and it’s not from your drawn swords

bursting through the door, you quickly take in the scene before you

several red sun members are scattered around the hut and slumped in varying degrees of injury

it’s easy to spot the intruder; they’re yanking their sword out of a body’s torso as they simultaneously turn to look at you

and it’s hard to miss the royal insignia of the jeong monarch on their chest plate

you have the element of surprise

but only for the next few seconds

you leap forward with the thud of footsteps of your partner following almost immediately, side-stepping once you close the distance to dodge a haphazard swing

there’s a brief break in defense when the enemy tries to aim for another strike that leaves the gap in the side of their armour exposed

you feel the slight resistance of your sword entering flesh as you thrust it forward into them

except when you try to tug it back out, a hand grasps your own and the hilt of your sword, stopping you from stepping away

the enemy has realised they are not going to make it out of this alive

but if they are to die, then they are going to take one last person with them

you.

you see glint of metal as they use their other hand to swing their sword down onto you, only for it to be deflected at the last second by another sword

the man you have met for barely an hour is now at your side with his towering protectiveness

in one smooth kick, his long leg sends the other careening into the wall of the hut with a mighty slam

you feel yourself jerking forward from the enemy’s grasp still on your hand

but the man next to you quickly tucks you into his side before you are also sent sprawling

“check on the others,” he briefly says, and then he is striding towards the fallen intruder

you only spare him another quick glance and then you rush to the nearest figure on the ground

you go around checking for pulses, and for those who are still breathing, the extent of their injuries

there are several casualties but nowhere near as many if you and the man had not come to check on the safehouse

which suddenly makes you pause in your tracks

how did he know about the attack in the first place?

you stretch your legs from their squatted position next to one of the red sun members and turn around to confront him

except…the man has disappeared

and so has the intruder’s body

days later, the question of whether you will chance upon the man again tonight flits through your mind when you find yourself perched in the very same spot on the tiled roof of the palace that gives you a clear view of the royal library

you have received another order to assassinate the crown prince as soon as you see the opportunity arise

this time, the note is accompanied by a cyanide capsule, a non-verbal message that this mission is to occur with your life on the line

you spot him

he’s preoccupied by the scroll in his hand as he makes his way through the shelves of parchments

you wait until he’s walked far enough into the library before you drop down from the roof, keeping your stance low to ensure you stay hidden as you silently move closer

you take out the jagged dagger from its sheath by your waist as you anticipate it will be too difficult to wield your long sword in the narrow aisles

and there the crown prince stands

he has his back to you, exposing him to your mercy

mercy that you have no intention of showing him

the cruel heir to the throne of an even crueler dictatorship deserves none

“it’s you again, isn’t it?”

you freeze

the crown prince still has not turned around to address you, but you can feel the dark gaze of his eyes on you as if he were looking at you

“you were here a few days ago”

fuck

how he knows you have no idea

what you do know though is that you have about two seconds to make a move before you lose this chance to assassinate him completely, and quite possibly, lose your life as well

the pill you have hidden in the breast of your tunic feels heavy

“you are part of red sun, are you not?”

this time the crown prince does turn around to face you, but it isn’t the nonchalance with which he reveals your identity that makes your head reel

it is the warmth and softness in his gaze and the hint of a smile on his face that does

what the actual fuck

you’re convinced that the crown prince is not only heinous, but also batshit crazy

“i am,” you spit out at him, “with orders to assassinate you, in fact”

his mouth thins into a tight line, “the orders you have received are false”

“sounds exactly like something a crown prince would say to avoid being assassinated,” you scoff

but then his next words change everything

“red is most beautiful during the sunrise of a new beginning”

before you have time to fathom the bomb that has just been dropped, your heads swivel simultaneously towards the entrance of the royal library when a voice calls out for the crown prince

“hide,” he hisses urgently

and then he’s stepping further away to conceal your presence as best as possible

you hear the shuffle of footsteps approaching before they stop, dangerously close to where you’re crouched behind a bookshelf

“apologies for interrupting your time, crown prince,” they say

from where you are you can see the crown prince’s expression clear as he lets out a small huff, “i have told you many times to just call me yunho”

“of course, crown prince yunho”

even though you can’t see the other person’s expression, you can hear the amusement in their voice

they continue, “i have the information you have requested for”

“thank you,” you see him - yunho - receive a small scroll. “the queen does not know?”

“no, i made sure to be as discreet as possible”

yunho thanks the other once again and your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when he bows his head in appreciation as he dismisses them

is this the same crown prince as the rumours?

and what is he doing behind his mother’s back?

you don’t realise you’ve been staring dumbly at him until he’s back in front of you with amusement on his face

he stands tall and proud, robes accentuating his stature and nobility

“who exactly are you,” you dare to ask

your voice is small - you feel small, crouched at his feet like a stark physical representation of the power he holds over you

but then he takes yet another step closer and kneels down so that your eyes meet at the same level

“i am the leader of red sun. the creator of the whole revolution”

your ankles actually do give out at that and you have to seat yourself on the floor

because how is any of this possible?

you must have voiced your thoughts out loud, because before you know it, yunho is crossing his legs and making himself comfortable on the floor right in front of you

it makes you feel so strange

the crown prince’s willingness to make himself an equal before you - and even to his staff from earlier

yunho starts to explain

a change in monarch, particularly one of such dictatorship, requires massive momentum and synergy; something he cannot produce alone nor without the support of the people

thus, red sun came into existence for the exact same reason you and all the other supporters have joined

in hopes of a sunrise one day that marks a new beginning

a new leadership

except recently he has had growing suspicious of the presence of a traitor within the organisation, which were confirmed the night the safehouse was attacked

“that night…that man was you,” you realise, “and that’s how you know who i am”

he nods, “and that’s also how i know your orders are false.” yunho nudges you playfully with his knee, “pretty sure i never ordered for my own assassination”

yunho continues to explain that he had taken the intruder back for interrogation, but then you frown when he reveals the enemy had swallowed a suicide pill before any information could be gained

he has an inkling that someone in a high position of power is involved, since the pills are almost impossible to gain access to, but it cannot be ruled out as a coincidence

“hang on,” you pull down the top of your tunic in a hurry

yunho scrambles to cover his eyes and turns his head as he jokingly sputters out, “woah okay, this is moving a little fast don’t you think?”

you tug impatiently on the sleeve of his robe, telling him to look

yunho hesitates for another second before lowering his hands and realising you have-

“a suicide pill?”

you look at each other, because this can only mean one thing

the pills are not a coincidence; the enemy is much closer than yunho would like

you’re both unsure how much time there is until the traitor decides to order someone else to assassinate yunho, or worse, decides to finish the job off themselves

but from that very night of discovery, you and yunho work together incessantly against a ticking time bomb

it’s a delicate balance between finding as many leads as you can and spreading out your investigations to stay under the radar

yunho tries to look further into the cyanide pills while you try to uncover any information regarding the order you had been given

whoever is behind it all has kept their tracks hidden well

there isn’t much to report from either of your ends whenever you sneak into the palace to meet up with yunho

but he makes it very hard for you to feel discouraged when he makes your meetings seem like casual catch ups between - you dare say - friends

you have yet to catch him by surprise whenever you drop down from the roof in front of him in an attempt to scare him; he has an uncanny ability to sense your presence

except, you think you prefer being unsuccessful, because your indignant grumbles never fail to bring out his toothy grin and an excited body jiggle

other times he is the one trying to fluster you

“remember that time you literally tried undressing yourself in front of me-”

“i was taking the pill out to show you!”

you bring your thumb and index finger closer together in front of your face and squint at the gap

“i am this close to changing my mind and assassinating you after all”

he gets a kick out of it, pretending to beg for your mercy, “oh please spare me, your majesty”

other times, yunho teases you for always keeping your cowl and mask on

“bet it’s because you’re ugly or something,” he jokes

and you bite back that he had his face covered too when you both met, so you’re one to talk, ugly

“but since then i’ve always shown you my face as the crown prince. you can see me nice and clear,” he suddenly leans forward, so close you can see the dip of his cupid’s brow. “what do you think about me now?”

you swallow hard

you’re glad you have your mask on because you can feel your face rapidly heating up

“i think…” you gently cup his jaw, “you look better with your mask on,” as you nudge his face to the side

you cannot help but join in with your own chuckles at his laughter and boyish glee

and eventually, you two have a breakthrough

yunho manages to trace the cyanide back to a traveling merchant operating under the guise of selling rare herbs and medicine

in the transaction ledger, there is an unusually large purchase under the name of ‘lee minjun’

“i’m sure i’ve seen the name before somewhere, but i can’t remember where,” yunho huffs

you let out your own huff at his elbow that has very naturally taken a rest on your shoulder

pulling out a stack of paper, you spread it out onto the table before you two

they are past records of certain red sun missions that, upon looking back, seem suspicious

“i noticed a mark on a couple of them, a drawing or character perhaps? except none of them are fully intact. it’s almost like the paper was accidentally marked”

you point them out to yunho in hopes that he will have a better idea

he doesn’t - not at first

not until he chances upon two that vaguely align with each other to form a clearer image

“this-” yunho runs his hand through his hair, “this is butler lee’s stamp. my father’s butler.”

the king’s butler?

lee?

your eyes snap to yunho’s, just as his meet yours

“lee minjun”

you sink back in your seat

there’s now definite proof that the king’s butler is at the very least involved

the question of why and what for remains

in fact, you and yunho would not put it past the queen either to be involved too

there is a long moment of shared silence as you both mull over what this means for the future

yunho breaks the silence first

“after this all ends…do you want to work for me, officially?” he clears his throat, “will you stay by my side?”

after this all ends

you two must still uncover butler lee’s motives; likely part of a much grander scheme involving queen jeong too

you two must still bring down the whole monarch; with the support of red sun, yunho needs to sit on his rightful throne

the sun has yet to rise but you can see the faint hues of orange and twilight blue in the horizon

the new beginning is close

and at that, something in you relaxes

crumbles and disintegrates with utter relief

“it would be my honour to stay by your side forever, yunho”

and then you are removing your hood and mask, daring to breathe and feel alive and hopeful for once

ironically, yunho chokes on air

you glance at him to find that he is unable to meet your eyes

you think your eyes are deceiving you because-

the tips of his ears are a glowing red

you could definitely get used to seeing the usually calm and collected crown prince become a shy, blushing mess

the corner of your mouth rises with smugness, “like what you see?”

“you should really keep your hood and mask on,” he mumbles

“and why is that?” you humour him

he finally looks at you

and when he sees the shit-eating grin plastered across your face, his shoulders suddenly fill out again with confidence and cockiness to match yours

“because,” his voice deep and flirtatious, “with a pretty face like that, you’re going to distract me from my duties”

yeosang

pov: you're in an arranged marriage with him

ever since you could understand the words coming out of your parents’ mouths, you have known that you will be married to yeosang

it just made sense

for the respective princess and prince of two powerful kingdoms to join together, leading to increased power and stronger allies

it is tradition for the pair to meet their chosen spouse for the first time only when both parties have turned sixteen, and even then, subsequent meetings are rare until the time of the actual wedding

so you spend the first sixteen years of your life infatuated with the idea of your prince charming - of prince yeosang - wondering what he looks like, what his personality is like, and how you two will fall in love

and when you finally reach that long-awaited first meeting, prince charming is everything and more than what you have envisioned

if angels with broken wings were exiled to earth, they would look like yeosang

he is soft-spoken and slightly reserved, as any awkward teenager meeting their future spouse would be, but you don’t miss the way that his eyes overflow with adoration and his shoulders shake with exuberant giggles whenever his little sister, yeoreum, comes tottering into the room

he always bends down onto one knee to match her eye level, uncaring of the stains that mark his pants even as his mother narrows her eyes in disdain, and he listens with utmost sincerity when yeoreum tells him about the secret pink and glittery fairy she spotted in the courtyard

they remind you of the relationship you share with your own little brother, juwon, who is barely half your age and height, yet has you wrapped around his little finger

you lean down closer with a hum at the soft tug on your dress to hear your little brother whisper conspiratorially into your ear, “he looks stupid”

if looks could kill, yeosang would be dead right now

you stifle a laugh as you flick juwon’s chin affectionately at his sudden display of childish jealousy

if anything, you’re pretty sure you are the one who looks stupid

stupidly in love

because walking away from that first meeting with yeosang and his family, you know that you are absolutely smitten for the prince

unable to quell the restlessness of having to wait until the next unforeseeable meeting, you pick up a quill that very same day you return to your palace and start writing

it takes you all night, the gentle gleams and winks of the stars keeping you company until they rotate shifts with the songs of the waking world

but by the time you have crossed out and scrunched your way through rolls and rolls of parchment paper, you are satisfied with the letter you have written

the letter addressed to prince yeosang, which you task eunju, one of your maids, with passing it to the royal couriers for delivery to the kang palace

it is a simple letter, thanking him for the enjoyable day, yet it holds the deeper message that you are interested in him and would like to become better acquainted before your marriage

you wonder whether his cheeks will flush a pretty red as his butler hands him your letter

whether he will trace his fingers delicately over the curve of your words

whether he will bite back a smile as he pictures you saying the words to him

two weeks pass, and you approximate the letter to have just been delivered to his kingdom

and although you desperately wish for him to immediately sit down with a quill in hand to pen out his reply, you wait and give him a week before you eagerly start counting down the days until the arrival of his letter

your whole life you have been able to wait patiently

you wonder what has changed now that mere weeks feel like an eternity

the day yeosang’s letter is due to arrive, you are sporadic bursts of giggles, twirls and skips throughout the palace

even juwon is starting to become sick of getting swept up into a crushing hug to the cheery tune of i loveee youuuu every single time you pass him

nothing can bring you down from cloud nine

only…the letter never comes

not the day after, not the week after, not the month after

you’re disappointed, of course, but you busy yourself with reasons why yeosang has not replied, and you don’t give up

you send him another letter, and then another, and another

sometimes you just tell him about your day - what made you smile, what made you sad, something interesting you saw, something your little brother said

other times you tell him about yourself - your hobbies, likes and dislikes, aspirations, fears

and you also wonder about him

you ask what he likes, what he smiles at, what makes him sad, what his dreams are

with each letter that you hand over to eunju to be delivered, it becomes harder and harder to stay optimistic - not even the words of encouragement from your favourite maid lifts your spirits

you continue like this for over a year, still yet to receive a reply

until-

you do.

it feels like you are brought back to that very night of your first meeting, feeling so very alive as hope and excitement cascade into your body the moment eunju hands you a letter with a smile

with shaking hands, you fumble to unpeel the wax seal and free the envelope’s contents - a single piece of paper, neatly folded

your mind races with anticipated words and explanations

perhaps he had been too shy to reciprocate your letters earlier

or perhaps your letters had been lost in transit

you unfold the parchment as the hairs on your skin raise in anticipation, only to find it blank save for one scrawled sentence in the middle of the paper-

stop sending me letters.

and just like that, the clock strikes twelve

your carriage reverts into a pumpkin

and your carefully curated story of prince charming disintegrates into ashes

you don’t write to him again.

years later, the stacks of parchment scrolls on the wooden desk of the guest room you are currently residing in feel like a fresh slap in the face each time your eyes land on them

they are a stark reminder of your very own letters, the cold rejection you received, and the irony of the only letter you ever received again following his being one from the kang monarchs, announcing the proceeding of the royal wedding between you and their son

now, only a few days newly-wed to yeosang, the king and queen are gracious enough to let you sleep in one of the guest rooms temporarily, under your claims of adjusting to a life in a new kingdom and as a wife

really, you are trying to avoid yeosang for as long as you can

you spend your time instead getting to know his little sister better, which is why you find yourself sitting side by side with yeoreum, legs dangling off the edge of your bed

she eyes the vase of flowers on your bedside table curiously, “did you buy that?”

“no,” you reach out to touch the baby’s breath, “someone delivered it to my room”

you had offhandedly mentioned to some of your staff the other day that flowers would make your room look more homey, and you had woken up the morning after to find the beautiful vase teeming with flowers next to you

“why?” you ask yeoreum when she hums thoughtfully

“it looks just like the vase in my brother’s room, but he’s weird about it. yeo never lets anyone touch it, much less have it”

you blanch a little, “in that case i’ll give it back to him later then”

“you don’t like it? or…you don’t like my brother? my brother talks about you a lot, you know,” she reveals

caught off-guard by her perceptiveness, you reveal that you have been hurt before

you don’t specify by what exactly or who it is that you’re talking about, but she seems to understand regardless

later that night, sweet yeoreum barges into yeosang’s room and with as much feistiness as she can muster, she glares at her brother and interrogates, “what did you do to make her upset?”

before he can so much as blink, yeoreum concludes, “you boys are dumb. go talk to her and fix it or something,” and then walks out with a huff

there’s no one there to witness it, but yeosang nods anyway

heart feeling a little heavy after your conversation with yeoreum, you head towards the kitchen to seek solace in the sweet pastry you are usually served each morning

the first time you tasted the danish pastry, decorated with strawberries and cream cheese, was when you had traveled to yeosang’s palace at the age of sixteen for your first meeting

you remember the blissful expression that had bloomed across your face with your initial bite, and no dessert ever captivated your tastebuds quite the same way ever again

if there is one good thing out of this arranged marriage with yeosang, then it would be the reunion between yourself and the strawberry danish

“your highness,” the head chef bows, followed by the rest of the staff in the kitchen, “how may we help you?”

when you ask for one of the pastries, the head chef apologises that there are none

“but we can make you one now, if you do not mind waiting”

you tell him not to go to the trouble and ease his worries, “i just thought there may have been leftover pastries”

“we make only one fresh every morning, specifically for you,” the chef explains, and confusion must settle across your features because he adds on, “his highness has expressed that you may like them”

oh?

flustered, you can only muster a short response of, “i do, thank you,” before you smile once more and excuse yourself

because of all people to notice and remember such a small detail, and then to go out of their way to put in the request with the kitchen on the off chance that it was still true, it was yeosang?

first the vase, and now this

you feel something deeply buried inside of you start to stir but you rush to nip it in the bud

your head and your heart are beginning to wage war against each other and suddenly everything feels like it’s too much

when you reach your bedroom, you throw open the double doors to step out onto the balcony, welcoming the chilling breeze of the darkening sky

you’re tired of fearing rejection if you open up

you’re tired of questioning yeosang’s intentions

and on top of it all, you suddenly miss home and you miss your parents and you miss juwon and-

“are you okay?”

yeosang’s soft question startles you, having missed his knocking at your door

he walks closer to join you out on the balcony when he sees that the answer is obviously a no, and he prompts you again, “what’s wrong?”

thoughts of vases and strawberry pastries flit across your mind

you start with half truths

“just missing my little brother”

“you love him a lot, don’t you,” yeosang smiles sweetly, “i can see it in the way you take care of yeoreum”

you can’t help the heat that slowly creeps up the back of your neck and to your ears, because it implies that he’s noticed all the times you’ve showered his little sister with the same love you give to juwon

it implies he’s noticed you

“what’s your fondest memory of juwon?” he asks when you nod

something within you thaws slightly at the fact that yeosang remembers your little brother’s name

you step closer to the edge of the balcony so that you can overlook the garden outside your room a little clearer, resting your hand on the railing as yeosang waits patiently

“we used to have this game we played. we had a lot of gardenia flowers growing around our courtyard and juwon loved cutting some to make me a mini bouquet,” you pause to shake your head with a chuckle, “it drove our mother nuts”

“doesn’t sound like it stopped him from continuing though, did it?” yeosang questions with mirth

“no, it didn’t,” your heart aches with fondness. “he would use a certain number of gardenias and make me guess what phrase containing the same number of letters he had in mind”

it never failed to tug your mouth into a smile whenever juwon giggled at your attempts to guess the flower phrase, even when most times he would bound away whilst singing answers like y-o-u s-t-i-n-k or d-u-m-b d-u-m-b

yeosang supports himself on the railing with one hand as he nearly folds in on himself in laughter, and before you know it, you too are gasping for air and wiping away tears from your eyes

when you both calm down relatively enough, only intermittent chuckles leaving your lips, yeosang clears his throat and scratches his neck awkwardly

“i know it might not be much, but maybe we can go out into town tomorrow and it might take your mind off things? and we can bring yeoreum along if that makes you feel more comfortable, because you’ve probably spent more time alone with her than you have with me?”

you don’t admit it, but you’re already feeling a little better, so you decide to tease, “are you asking me out on a date right now, kang yeosang?”

“oh, well, we’d be doing things a little backwards since we’re already like, married…but, yes? maybe? is that okay?”

it’s yeosang’s turn to flush a deep red as his usually composed demeanor is reduced to stutters, but you don’t notice under the faint glow cast by the moon now reigning the sky

“yeah, that’s okay”

you and yeosang smile fondly as your little trio stroll through a nearby town the following morning, his younger sister skipping ahead to peer at the colourful trinkets being sold at the market stalls, and your own small squad of royal soldiers following behind at a respectful distance

it’s kind of endearing how yeosang points out item after item, asking whether you like it or whether you find it pretty, in a not-so-subtle attempt to learn about your preferences

you have to stop him from buying you something from every second stall you both pass, but you’re unable to convince him from purchasing a small wooden toy as a gift for juwon, insisting that you give it to your little brother the next time you see him

the more you actually interact and talk with yeosang, the harder you find it to associate him with the memory of the yeosang in your rejected letters

because the equation of the letters, the vase and the pastries just does not add up

as you two sit under the awning of a small shop, watching yeoreum play with the shopkeeper’s dog, you find yourself unable to hold back anymore

“why didn’t you reply to my letters?” you break the silence, trying to hide the hurt laced in your voice

yeosang looks at you with wide eyes as his mouth stutters open

and in the smallest voice you have ever heard him speak with, he says

“you wrote me letters?”

your eyebrows knit together as your eyes dart back and forth between his, searching for any hint of deception

“too many to count,” you confess, “until you sent a letter telling me to stop…”

“impossible. i never got your letters”

your head recoils back as you try to make sense of his words, “but-”

“wait,” he interrupts

yeosang reaches into his robes, pulling out a small, wooden block, extending it out closer to you as he asks, “do you recognise this?”

upon closer inspection, you realise it’s a square seal stamp

it has the character ‘姜’ carved into it and you’ve seen it enough times to know it represents the kang family name - but the inscription that stylises the border is unfamiliar

“not the seal, no”

he swallows apprehensively, “i stamp all my letters with this to certify authenticity”

you let his words sink in as they throw you into a sandstorm of bewilderment

“but then-”

but then who wrote the letter?

and where did all your letters go?

the only people who would have known about them would be the royal couriers and…eunju

a memory flashes through your mind - the moment she handed you a letter with a smile

no, not a smile, you realise

a smirk

you are simultaneously overwhelmed with betrayal, guilt and apologeticness

yeosang doesn’t push you for a response, and you come to recognise that you are also grateful

“i’m sorry for doubting you,” you tell him

it’s nowhere close to the amount of things you want to confess, but it is a start, one that yeosang picks up on and understands immediately

“no, i’m sorry you felt the need to doubt me,” he offers. “that i didn’t make you feel loved enough”

“but i did, actually. the vase and the pastries, then our conversation last night…and even today”

he blushes a deep red as you list the things off with your fingers

“you weren’t meant to find out about the first two,” yeosang admits as he ducks his head shyly

then he suddenly perks up with a sudden thought

he ruffles inside his satchel that had been abandoned to one side, mumbling, “my sister said i did something to upset you…so i um, got you these”

he turns around to reveal a bouquet of flowers, looking a little rough for wear after being hidden in his bag all morning, but his clumsy consideration only serves to makes your heart skip dangerously

“forgive me?” he asks cheekily, and you both giggle at the absurdity of his question because it should very well be the other way around

“if you insist,” you take the bouquet into your hands

and finally, you allow the chains around your heart to fall away, “i can’t say no to my husband, can i?”

yeosang lets out a little squeak as you look at the bouquet more clearly, counting the number of flowers

you turn to ask if he remembers the game you told him about, but the way yeosang suddenly finds the patch of dirt near his foot absolutely fascinating tells you everything that you need to know

eight flowers

eight letters

i l-o-v-e y-o-u

4K notes · View notes

yeorisanaxox · 18 days

Text

ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ ➤ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀɴᴛɪᴇs

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ ᴏᴛ8 x ꜰᴇᴍ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ, sᴏᴍᴇ sᴜɢɢᴇsᴛɪᴠᴇ, sᴍᴜᴛ

sᴄᴇɴᴀʀɪᴏ ➬ ᴛʜᴇᴍ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀɴᴛɪᴇs

ᴍɪɴᴏʀs ᴅɴɪ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs sᴏꜰᴛ ᴅᴏᴍ!ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ᴍɪɴɢɪ ᴅᴇᴀʟs ᴡ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀᴄᴀʀᴇ, ᴀss sʟᴀᴘᴘɪɴɢ/ᴄʜᴇᴇᴋ ᴘɪɴᴄʜɪɴɢ, ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇs, ʟᴏᴡᴇʀᴄᴀsᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ

ɴᴏᴛᴇ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀʀᴄʜ ᴜᴘ ᴛɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴡ :,) ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ɪs ʜᴀʀᴅ ʟᴏʟ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ :)

ʜᴏɴɢᴊᴏᴏɴɢ. You were trying to get dressed as quietly as you possibly could without waking up your boyfriend but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out where the hell you had tossed your damn pants the night before. Sure they had legs but they couldn’t just get up and walk off.

It had gotten so bad that you started checking in bizarre places like behind hoongjoong’s desktop and the little space between his headboard and wall but they weren’t there either.

Where the hell—

“What are you doing?” You jumped and whipped around to see your boyfriend sitting up on one arm. Not one wink of sleep was in his eyes, making you question how long had he been awake.

“I’m looking for my pants but I can’t find them…” you trailed off in your starting rant, noticing a certain glint in his eye and that’s when it clicked. That’s why he doesn’t look tired. Stalking up to his side of the bed and darting your hand out.

“Give me my pants.” You say with all seriousness.

“And why would I do that when this view is so much better?” Referring to you standing there in your panties. He teasingly bites his lip whilst reaching out to hook his finger in the band of them and pull you closer to him with one tug.

“How about you come lay back down and let me see you some more like this, and just maybe I’ll consider giving them back.”

sᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ. He probably wouldn’t have freaked out as much if it had happened at your place, knowing that sometimes yours and his laundry did get mixed up between visits. But because it happened at the dorms where any of the boys could’ve seen it. And just his luck, of course it was wooyoung who saw them.

“Hyung, I think you forgot something.” He turns and finds wooyoung skipping up to him with his hands behind his back. Did he? His laundry soap was sitting on top of his basket so it couldn’t be that. Did he maybe forget to empty the dryer fully? His face then flashes to something horrific at the sight of wooyoung holding your underwear just by the strap.

Never have he moved so fast, snatching the garment out of his hand, not without whipping him upside the head with them after.

“Ow!!”

“These are mine!” He spat stupidly, not thinking what he was saying. He was just trying to get them in the pocket of his sweats before any of the others saw.

“Since when do you wear—”

“You speak nothing of this. Nothing! Or else I’ll tell San it was you the one who spilt coffee on shiber.”

He didn’t even wait for his reaction before stalking off to his room, closing the door shut. Seonghwa let out a big sigh, pushing himself away from it and onto his bed where he then reaches for his phone and pulls up your contact to text you.

To y/n:

Found those panties you were looking for. You caused me quite the trouble. I think you should make it up to me…

ʏᴜɴʜᴏ. “What do you think about this dress, baby?”

Approaching him from behind, yunho puts his phone down to give you his— UNDIVIDED ATTENTION?? He gaped at the so-called dress you spun around in, the end just barely meeting your mid thighs and the material…well let’s just say, he could see your ass.

Out of nowhere, in your little fashion show, he starts laughing and clapping to himself, raising a frown from you.

“What’s so funny?” Folding your arms in offense. And just like that, he stopped, wiping his last fake tear before sliding forward to the edge of the couch with a more heartfelt tone.

“Baby. I can literally see your underwear through that dress.” He points at your rear, which you try and cover with your hands.

“You’re lying.” You scoff, ready to walk your way back to your room to see what he was talking about but his hand was quicker. Swiftly catching you by the thigh, he backs you into him and with the other hand, he grabs the end of your dress and pulls it up over the mound of your ass.

“Yunho!” You exclaimed and reached out in front of you to steady yourself on the coffee table.

“Yeah I can definitely see them now.” He chuckles darkly, sending chills down your spine as he fondled with one asscheek before delivering it with a hard smack.

“Bending over like this, anybody else would’ve seen them too…”

ʏᴇᴏsᴀɴɢ. The only time he ever really saw them was behind closed doors and that being just for a blink before tossing them somewhere on the floor.

So when you casually appear out of nowhere, walking up to him in one of his shirts and just your panties, he quite literally chokes on the water he was drinking and gaped at you as if you had grown two heads.

First of all, you looked stunning as hell in his clothes but seriously, what the fuck?!

“Are you crazy?!” He panics and hurriedly pulls you down into his lap, covering you both with some blanket that happened to be next to him.

“If one of the guys were to come back and saw you, I would never hear the end of it.”

Especially from wooyoung. God—He mainly wouldn’t let something like this go without endlessly teasing him about it for at least a month.

There then was a long moment of silence, the only source of sound came from the show playing in front of you that was long forgotten, that was till yeosang breaks it.

In the quietest of voices, you were still able to hear, “They’re really cute tho.” Despite his face being buried in your shoulder.

sᴀɴ. He’d usually knock before entering your bedroom when he knew you went to change but at the moment wooyoung wasn’t making any sense in his spawn of messages and on top of that, san’s phone was about to die.

‘Charger. Charger. Charger.’ Was the only thing going off in his head, almost making himself run into a wall because he was trying to respond at the same time that it didn’t even register to him that he had barged in on you until you let out a squeak.

“Oh—I’m sorry baby,” he instantly covers his eyes as if he hasn't seen you in your underwear before.

“It’s okay. You just scared me, that’s all.” Breathing out relief. “Good thing you’re here though,” your tone instantly switching to a more bubbly one. “What do you think about these? I got them for a great deal at the mall.”

He then removed his hand and looked as you gave him a little 360 of the new panties you were sporting. Cute and minimum coverage. Just how he liked them.

“So pretty.” His tone being soft while he reaches out to pull you in by the hip to get a better look. His fingers sneakily wander over the material and even more slyly pinches your cheeks, causing you to yelp and smack his chest.

To sum up the story, his phone eventually ended up dying so whatever it was wooyoung needed to say, it was gonna have to wait until he was done with you.

ᴍɪɴɢɪ. You were already long gone by the time he came back with a warm washcloth and a fresh pair of panties to clean you up with. All those times you teased him the following morning for falling asleep immediately, now look at you. He finally had something to get you back with. But for the moment, all he wanted to do is take care of you.

Gently, he spread your legs without waking you so that he could start cleaning you. Once he was done, he then shimmied on your panties, making sure they were comfortable sitting on your hips.

There. He thinks to himself, smiling suddenly at what he picked out. The red and green cherry pattern was in complete contrast to your purple bra that was peeking out over your tank top. So he may have or not picked them up just because they were cute but hey, at least you covered. That was his logic.

He pulls your strap back on your shoulder while also leaning down to press a tender kiss against your forehead, “I love you.”

ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ “wooyoung, please.” Bucking your jean-clad pussy into his hand, trying to get more friction. If you didn’t need him so badly and knew that you could make yourself feel twice as good, you wouldn’t even be putting up with his teasing. But the hard reality was that you couldn’t. And he knew that just as well.

That’s why getting you all worked up was more pleasurable for him. That if at any point he stopped, you were going to beg him til tears. He knew just how to get what he wanted from his little princess and exactly how to make her behave.

“So wet for me and I haven’t even taken these off.” He giggles in your ear, referring to the dark patch that was dead center of your crotch.

“Let’s see now. Can woo see?” He laughs again at your frantic nodding. His hands then work on the bottom of your jeans, popping it open before shimming them down your legs.

“My, my, my. What do we have here?”

Just as he expected. You had seeped right through your panties, which he couldn't help but notice they were the ones he bought you for Valentine’s Day. You only wore them on special occasions.

“You wore these just for me?” He cooes and grabs the top of them, and pulls them up so that the seat was rubbing right on your clit. You moaned loudly at finally getting some stimulation, basking in it as long as you can.

“We’re gonna leave these on. That alright?”

ᴊᴏɴɢʜᴏ. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did you say yes to spending the night? You never spent the night. Not because you didn’t want to. Hopefully he never thought that for all those times you turned down his offer. It’s just that— spending the night meant sharing the same bed. And while that doesn’t seem too big of a deal, you were still nervous because you only slept in your underwear.

Sleeping was more comfortable that way and solely why you had always been afraid to spend the night. You didn’t want to weird him out with your little habit.

Sensing your hesitation to climb in the bed after him, he frowned as you stared at the empty space beside him in deep thought.

“Hey,” he reached out to touch your hand in a loving manner, drawing your attention from the empty space to meet his eyes.

“If you’re uncomfortable with this, it’s okay. I’ll sleep on the floor and you take the bed.”

“No, no! It’s not that. It’s just…” you take a long pause before letting out a defeated sigh. There was no other way to tell him at this point.

“I only like to sleep in my underwear. My legs get too hot if I’m in pants but I didn’t want to weird you out because this is your room and I have no right to do what I want—”

Mid rant, somehow Jongho managed to scoot closer to you without you noticing and pulled you down, shutting you up with a brief kiss.

“It’s okay, doll. You can sleep in your underwear if you want. I just want you to be as comfortable as possible.”

He gives you an reassurancing smile whilst gently squeezing your hand. You return one of the same before letting out another sigh and stepping back to shimmy out of your pants. Blushing instantly at the way he eyed your panties, “pretty,” was all he said as he pulled you down in the bed with him.

written by yeorisanaxox. No translations or reposting. Leave a like and reblog w [feedback is much appreciated] ✨

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jjunberry · 2 months

Text

ateez! while getting head

pairing! ateez x reader

genre! smut

synopsis! ateez getting head

wc! 500

hongjoong! is rough. loves holding the back of your neck to guide you. he’s well aware you can take him but he loves the control. you were on your knees under his desk at the studio. he was sat legs spread while you sucked him off. his groans filled the studio has he gripped your neck to speed up your actions. “yeah baby, just like that.” he moved your head faster and bucked his hips.

seonghwa! likes it deep. your nose pressed against him as he’s down your throat. he has you laid on your back head hanging off the bottom of the bed. he stood above you fucking your mouth. he moaned out seeing himself in your throat. “you feel me baby? feel me in there.” you moaned around him causing him to groan and finish down your throat.

yunho! loves to finish on your face. this boy lives for facials. lets you take over until he’s close then he grips your hair. his motions are quick and rough. he pulls out with a deep groan and jerks himself off before finishing on your face. “you look so pretty covered in my cum.”

yeosang! loves morning head. he had given you permission a while ago to wake him up with head. he claims it makes his day go better. before the morning alarms you’d slip under the covers and take him into your mouth. yeosang would soon wake up guiding your head lower. his morning voice filling your ears. “mhm yeah baby just like that.”

san! loves to return to favor. let’s you suck him off as long as you let him in return. he holds your hair and guides you until he finishes down your throat with a whine. after he catches his breath his quick to lay you down. you felt his breath over your heat. “let me take care of you now.”

mingi! is whiny. he loves head. he loves when you give him head. very vocal on his appreciation. his head is against the pillow as whines leave his lips. you’ve been working him for a while now. he’s bucking his hips up. “please can i cum?” he begs. when he gets the nod of approval he’s quick to finish in your mouth. he whines when you open to show him.

wooyoung! is a head pusher. you were kissing down his chest when his hand pushed down telling you where he needed you most. you pulled his pants and boxers down before licking up his dick. he pushed your head down as you sucked on his tip. “more..need more.” he moaned when you finally took him down your throat.

jongho! is slow. he likes to take it slow. taking more of him each time you go back down. he doesn’t moan but his breathing gets heavier as he gets closer. he begins to buck his hips to meet your actions. “keep going, mhm i’m close.” his body goes still as he shoots his load down your throat.

author’s note! guyssss omg 🤭 hope you enjoyed this one

tag list! @304files @jjunieworld

love, echo ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪

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mingwrites · 11 days

Note

Can I request how Ateez would sound in bed (i.e. moaner, grunted, whimper, silent, loud).

thanks for requesting nonnie!!! hope u enjoy <3

how ateez sound in bed

seonghwa ~ very vocal in bed. he mostly makes soft, breathless moans, his head thrown back in ecstasy as you ride his dick. his brain becomes too fogged up with the feeling of you to form words, so he relies heavily on those sounds to let you know that you're doing well, that he feels good, and that he loves you. he also tends to bite his lip a lot, producing hums rather than open-mouthed moans. "mmmmh, mmh, you feel so-ahh-so good..."

hongjoong ~ a focused man and attentive lover, hongjoong tends to be a little more quiet during sex as he's so focused on making you feel good. the best way to hear his adorable, hoarse whimpers is when you suck him off or give him a handjob. that's when he's able to lie back, close his eyes, and fill the room with the sounds of his pleasure. "yessss, that's good, baby... mmm...! just like that..."

yunho ~ lots of grunting when he fucks into you. he puts a lot of strength into his thrusts and likes to make that apparent, producing low, almost growl-like sounds every time his hips pound against yours, his dick filling you completely. also has a tendency to laugh during sex, smirking cockily, specifically when you let out one of your own sounds or tell him how good he makes you feel. "mm, mm... my baby feels good? hah... so cute..."

yeosang ~ yeosang is on the quieter side, as he can be a little shy, even with you. during sex, he makes plenty of pretty little whimpers and groans, just at a very soft volume. he grows louder the longer your pussy squeezes his dick, the more he comes undone. he's also way too shy to talk much, so he instead communicates with little, desperate noises and broken sentences. "mm, mm, ah... i love it... mmmh..."

san ~ he tries to stay mostly silent in terms of moaning, instead opting to just tell you directly what he's feeling. in other words, he's big on dirty talk. while you will catch occasional low hums, especially when he's close to orgasm, he mostly prefers to be teasing you for the sounds you make. "you're so tight... mmm... i can feel your pretty little pussy squeezing me. you're close, huh baby?"

mingi ~ mingi is unashamed of the type and amount of sound he makes, often using them as a substitute for words when he gets too worked up. he'll make quick, deep grunts when he fucks you, higher-pitched whimpers when you suck him off, and long, gruff moans when you fuck yourself on his dick. he loves the sound of your voice echoing in harmony with his. "mm, mmm, just like that, doll... ahh, yeah... take me down your throat..."

wooyoung ~ loud, loud, loud. in both the amount of moans and blabbering half-sentences you're able to get out of him, and in the volume of those sounds. wooyoung is shameless and unafraid to cue you (and your neighbors) in on exactly how he's feeling. on any given night, you'll hear him talking dirty, laughing, whimpering, moaning, and sometimes sobbing. "aaahhh, y/n, y/n, it's too much...! ah, ah, ah... mmm, so good..."

jongho ~ tries very hard to make as little noise as possible. he's rather shy and not always comfortable with that level of vulnerability, so he prefers to listen in on your sounds instead. also a master of dirty talk, he uses that skill to get the prettiest sounds out of you. of course, when he cums, he can't always hold back, and will let choked, high-pitched moans slip through. "mm, you feel so good... keep going, love... i'm gonna... ahh, aaahh...

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beenbaanbuun · 3 months

Text

stretch marks w/san

imagine you and san lay in bed together on a lazy morning. the curtains are only just open, casting a hazy light over your barely clothed bodies.

san is wearing nothing more than a pair of plaid joggers that sit low on his hips. you on the other hand, wear one of his shirts and a pair of pink cotton panties. the shirt has ridden up around your waist, thighs on full display.

san likes that fact, perhaps a little too much. your thighs are his favourite pillow, after all. it’s even better when they’re bare and he can lay with his head pressed firmly against one, fingers drawing dainty patterns against the other. it’s no secret just how much he likes the skin to skin contact.

you sit with your back against the headboard. you have one hand on his head, fingers running through his short hair, tugging at the strands every now and then. in your other sits your phone.

“i like these,” san hums, tracing his finger over your thigh in the shape of a lightning bolt. you pull your eyes away from your screen to watch as he traces over a stretch mark before moving to a different one and giving it the same treatment.

“my stretch marks?” he hums in response. you put your phone down to give him your full attention. “any reason?”

he flattens his palm against your thigh and rubs it up and down.

“pretty…” he sighs as he leans forward to kiss the meat of your thigh, “they look like water does when it’s rippling. you know like when the sun hits it and you can’t help but stare at it for a while?”

he looks up at you with wide eyes.

“fuck, you’re pretty.”

you can’t help but crack a smile. not when he’s looking at you like you hold the sun, moon and stars in the palms of your hands.

“sappy baby,” you call him, running your nails over his scalp. his eyes flutter closed at the sensation, a low groan leaving his lip, “you must really love me…”

“more than anything,” he whispers as he opens his eyes again, “and every single day i find something new that just makes me love you more.”

he kisses your thigh again, and again, and again. it takes a moment to realise that he’s pressing kisses to every single stretch mark he can get his lips on. when you do, you giggle.

“you really like my stretch marks, hm?”

“oh, i’m never leaving these babies alone,” he cracks a smile, “i didn’t think i could love these thighs any more than i already did but you always find a way to prove me wrong, don’t you?”

you roll your eyes.

“you’re so stupid.”

“yeah… stupid in love with you.”

#ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez drabbles #ateez headcanons #san fic #san fluff #san x reader #san oneshot

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bvidzsoo · 13 days

Text

texting fiancé!ateez about their Coachella performance as you weren't able to attend it

author: bvidzsoo

pairing: ot8 x reader

tw: cursing

genre: smau, reactions, idol!au, fiancé!au

a/n: well, I can 100% surely say Ateez wrecked all Atiny with their performance at Coachella today (or yesterday for some), and maybe this is my way of coping??? Will I be over it soon? Certainly not lol, when I catch you Song Mingi, you better have prepared yourself cuz I ain't ever again letting you out of the dungeon, sir. Let me know your thoughts, as always, I hope these are good enough and enjoyable. Thank you for checking it out! (divider)

⚞ Masterlist ⚟

↳Perm. taglist: @orshii @jjoongstar @tinyelfperson @thestarskiller @zuuhaaa @aaa-sia @sharksandminhos @gong-fourz

❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

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sorryimananti-romantic · 10 months

Text

Ateez as Dads-

collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell who shares the same single braincell as me bc we know we're not the only ones obsessed with the recent ateez x children content

(disclaimer: i don't like babies. but the idea of ateez handling babies? adorable. loren, however, loves kids so here's the outcome)

Hongjoong

"hold this thing, i don't know what to do with it."

"that's your child, hongjoong."

looks like the frightened hamster meme when the baby starts crying out of nowhere

sometimes sleeps through the baby crying its lungs out at night LMAO but that's only when he's exhausted asf

bet he'll write a song or two about fatherhood too and you'll be like 'what would you know about it you slept through the night'

may be uncomfortable at times but when he starts bonding, you'll see it in his actions

like when he reforms cute little things like clothings or shoes for his baby, adding little dangly things to the crib

or when he makes cute accessories for the baby

matching reformed things omg

super stylish matching parent-kid duo

the bonding literally happens with the smallest moment like one day the baby is crying in his arms and tugs at his shirt with its little fist and he's done for he loves his kid 10000x more all of a sudden

and when the baby calms down immediately after coming into his arms? he'll die of happiness

and when the baby recognises him in a group of people??? new level of dad unlocked

literally melts whenever the kid runs across the room to fly into his arms or calls him daddy

paints the room for his kid and gives them a wall in their room to paint whatever they like

lets the kid paint his nails and they could even have that one matching painted fingernail omg

later when the kid grows up they'll have uv lights and like the latest stuff for nails but you bet hongjoong's gonna dry that nail paint by blowing on it-

literally the most supportive, allowing the kid to explore beyond conventional boundaries and guiding them along

also very attentive esp when they start growing up and observing

he'll make sure he answers all of their curious little questions to the best of their understanding

and surprisingly, he won't mind his kid in his studio

like how adorable is it when you find your kid in his lap, sharing earphones as he composes?

he just loves it when they sit on him or when they lie down next to him/on top of him when he's resting that's his therapy

Seonghwa

more of a mother than the real mother

knows exactly what to do like he's raised six kids already (i'm looking at you ateez)

wakes up at ass o clock in the morning to shush the crying baby so you can get some sleep :')

mother-coded that's what he is

you'll definitely be learning motherhood from him LMAO

but jokes aside he's actually the best partner you could have asked for in such a situation

he's so so patient with the kid and you

esp you

he understands when you're overwhelmed and when you need a break

so he's always willing to give you some space and takes care of the kid in the meanwhile which is so :')

so you try your best to return it to him in every way as well <3

you'll both be figuring this journey out together and that's the best part

bonds with the kid so good

esp when they start going to school and he literally can't wait for them to get home so he can hear about how their day was

lives for the gossip he gets from his kids about school too LOL

he'll be like yass give me the tea come on

also pretty much behaves like a kid when he's having a good time with his kids

like he goes 'no it's my turn to select the ice cream flavour you have to try this you'll love it i'm not hearing a no-'

kids teach him new slangs but you bet he'll stick to the good old 'no cap' and 'yeet'

gets matching stupid stuff like those green alien glasses for him and the kid-

you just know your kids will love him more than you and you accept it. you don't mind that at all bc he's such a lovable person

he'll always be running around the house with them trying to catch them or letting them catch him

they will watch animated movies together and draw together and make legos together they're gonna share that obsession

he's there. always. in every moment of their life :')

Yunho

curious to learn

but that doesn't stop him from playing with the baby like they're a toy boi has no fear

he's always gushing over how small and cute and adorable they are

he'll also be a bit scared at first to hold the baby in his arms but will get used to it real quick

loves feeding them and cleaning them with you

he's got some sort of magic to him too he can soothe a crying baby in seconds

plays with them/holds them like they're a cat/puppy

gives them rides on his shoulders and they love it you can hear their laughter ring around the house

teases you about how they look nothing like you but if they do look like you more, he'll be scanning them for one similarity that he can boast about.

"he's got my smile. see?"

loves playing with their hair and combing and styling it

also loves it when you all match unintentionally when going out

the type to play with the kids in the most unconventional ways when you're not looking

almost accidentally drops the baby at least once a week- i said ALMOST okay he's good at catching.

kids cling on to his long legs and he effortlessly walks like no big deal omgg

would even swing his legs like an amusement ride which might possibly earn a scream from you-

also once used the laundry basket as a rollercoaster for the kid. you can imagine how that ended. no living beings were harmed tho-

HE'S A FUN DAD OK

literally his kids are always running around him asking him to do sth fun with them or tell them jokes or play with him

teaches the kids the latest trends

makes dancing tik toks with them

he's actually also the super responsible dad, always dependable. you literally have nothing to worry about esp bc he can be serious when he needs to be

he allows the kids to take challenges, believing the kids need to grow at their own pace and that getting hurt is also a part of growing up

teaches them to be kind, to respect people, to always smile

goes on dates with them to the amusement parks, aquariums, carnivals etc and when they're older they go fishing or go-karting

Yeosang

(sincerely apologise for using a photo with alcohol in a post with babies BUT DOES HE NOT LOOK BABY HERE???)

the babiest of dads

googles whatever the baby does as if that will give him the answer

notices every little thing the baby does

follows instructions like a robot

forgets that the baby is actually a baby and they can't really do their stuff themselves so he has to do it for them-

like for example after a meal he clears the high chair and forgets he needs to help the baby off the chair until it wails LOL

is always worrying about what the baby is feeling esp when it is crying without a reason

always fusses about the little things bc he cares so much :')

sometimes you have to sit him down and tell him that it's okay if the baby is crying-

he even enjoys simply watching the baby esp when they do stupid stuff or play around with food

"that's disgusting but so adorable"

gets taught the latest trends by his kid but still ends up using them in the wrong contexts lmao

yeosang and the kid wailing about the mom on their way home until yeo takes the wrong turn and the kid glares at him and points to the right direction

yeosang and the kid in the shopping mall and yeosang gets lost

goes to the counter to pay but taps his pockets bc he can't find his wallet and the kid sighs loudly and hands it to him

yeosang taking his kid to the parent teacher meeting and he forgets HE'S the parent

he may be forgetful and zone out at times but he's actually very responsible. you never worry whenever you leave your kid with him and go out. you can depend on him <3

you'll see him mature as his kids grow up too, like you can literally see him learning fatherhood

doesn't mean they won't open dexter's laboratory when you're gone and clean up the mess before you come-

sees cute posts about lunchboxes with octopus sausage and seaweed characters on the rice but canNOT replicate it even after spending hours but the kids flaunt it like a masterpiece at their school <3 (loren you're so right for this)

his kids' friends WILL have a crush on yeosang. the teachers might too. how could you not??

his kids gon be the prettiest istg-

San

i'm sorry to break it to you but you'll have to take care of two babies <3

as loren said 'normal children learn behaviours from their parents. san learns behaviours from the baby.'

pretends to cry when the baby is crying so he can also receive hugs and kisses from you

he's actually the most responsive father ever, like he'll know what's actually happening with the kid instead of pretending to know

it's like he's connected to them on an astral level

so he's pretty much a natural caretaker

like he said, he knows how to give love

so he'll never make you feel less loved as well

he'll keep reassuring you how imp you are to him esp now that you're the mother of his child and he'll always be grateful to you for bringing this blessing into his life

but he also has his moments LMAO like i can just imagine him playing with the kid in the most babiest of manners

to the point the kid refuses to listen to you

the kids will always ALWAYS choose him whenever they're asked the 'who do you love more mom or dad' question

and even though that makes you pissed momentarily bc pls who wouldn't get pissed you find it super adorable how much your kids love their dad

safe place.

tells his kids early on what's good and what's bad. no compromises

teaches them when to be sorry and when to stand up for themselves

taekwondo together <3 he'll make them show off at family events or stuff and demand that the audience give good reactions otherwise he's gonna pout sooo hard

he'll make sure his kids don't laze around. chores? yes. exercise? yes. nap-time? necessary. homework? don't even dare to say no. play-time? HELL YES

teaches traditional games to his kids too and makes them interact with other kids to play instead of video games so early on

the video games are HIS okay they can't touch it until they grow up

kids go to him for help in school work and he'll sit there all zoned out wondering when the hell this got included in their syllabus

will refuse to give up until you catch him tired and scratching his head in confusion

"i'm pretty sure education gets tougher every year."

"whatever helps you sleep at nights san <3" LOL

loves spending time together, all of you, anywhere as long as you all are together <3

Mingi

9/10 times will cry when the baby cries

but also really good at taking care of them and it amazes him too

calms the baby down with the cutest most concerned face ever so he looks more baby than the baby

pretends to sleep when the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night

until you poke his stomach and go 'don't you fucking dare' and he starts laughing helplessly

but then takes the reins and lets you sleep if you look too done <3

jokingly tries to gaslight you into thinking it's your turn to settle the baby but you bet you're keeping tabs too

but when he sees how tired you look, he'll never ever complain no matter how tired he may be himself. will even tuck YOU into bed

the type to sit in the lounge with some kid's show on with the kid itself and you give him snacks to feed the kid

but at some point he got a taste and now he's looking at the packaging and going 'this shit good' when it's actually some baby-friendly snack 😭

and then suddenly it's all gone and the kid is glaring at mingi with angry eyes 😭😭 and he's like pleasure is temporary my child-

but now he has his own fav baby snacks too.

does freestyle rapping about the misery of fatherhood LMAO

also does lame stuff like tapping on the baby's shoulder and when they turn to look at him he has his finger out so it pokes the baby's cheek like-

gets matching shades for him and the kid

hangs out with them a lot, even if it's inside

hears every story they have to tell but also they just looooveee to hear stories from him bc he's a good storyteller

even though half of the shit is made up but he pretends it actually happened-

"one time i saw your mom ugly crying in a shop. i asked her what the matter was. she saw me and fell in love instantly."

"wasn't it the other way?"

loves swinging his kids in his arms whenever he comes home and then you stand there all pouty and he runs after you-

can't scold kids to save himself. can never. always bursts out laughing whenever he glares at them. so you do that for him.

now you're the antagonist in the house

can't handle when his kids are being adorable like he'll just clutch his heart and pretend to faint

best father-kid dynamic bc he's the playful but responsible dad

Wooyoung

he's a natural at this come on

"i feel like he's more my sibling than my own child"

always has his baby in his arms to the point you have to snatch it from him bc you can see he's tired

takes care of everything- from bathing them to feeding them. he's so good at it too

you love him even more bc he may tease you to bits but you never thought he'd be a cooperative lovable menace too

talks to the baby in baby language and they actually hold conversations

and when you join he'll just make fun of you LOL

starts treating you like a baby too when you're tired and you're not sure you hate that you might actually start doing it on purpose too-

taught the kid the art to charm people so they're throwing random cheeky compliments around

like they'll go to a shop and the kid will compliment the shopkeeper and they'll be like omg so precious and hand freebies

and those freebies would be wooyoung's earnings btw aint no way the kid gon have those

will train a family of cutest loveable menaces :')

the chef dad

creates masterpiece lunchboxes for his kids that even the teachers are tempted to steal

i can just imagine the girl friend (also crush) of wooyoung's son at school having a big fat crush on wooyoung and wanting to marry him like come on😭😭

then the son gets super grumpy about it and woo sits him down and asks what's bothering him

then he'll teach him how to bake cookies and the son ends up sweeping the girl off her feet omgg

woo placing his hands over his kid's hands bc they're too small to properly hold the piping bag when they decorate cakes and cookies and cupcakes

them playing in the kitchen and throwing flour on each other and you come and look all smugly at woo bc yes you're gonna clean this mess later on

but you end up joining them :')

dolls up his kids and asks them to kiss him on both his cheeks before they leave

and you bet the kids love that routine

hugs. all the time. hugs.

makes sure to capture these moments for memories if you haven't already and he'll love looking back at these days <3

Jongho

best dad

makes sure he doesn't forget to take care of you as you take care of the baby :')

always gets surprised when the baby does sth new

priceless reactions from him, esp when the baby first says a comprehensible word or takes its first steps

always spreading his arms whenever he spots the baby so the baby can crawl/walk/run to him

swings them in the air and does those little throws

the strong dad. the one who's carrying the kids effortlessly- one on the shoulder, one under the arm, walking as if they weigh nothing

jongho's kid: hi i'm hungry

jongho: hi hungry, i'm dad

overuses every dumb dad joke ever to exist but still finds it super hilarious and sometimes you'll end up laughing along

"back in my days-"

"ah shit here we go again."

bc you know dad jokes aside he's actually a super funny guy when he wants to be

the type to team up with his kid to tease YOU

whispers shit in their ears like 'go pull out your mom's hairclip as revenge for her not letting us hang out in the snow with ice cream last night' when you're super occupied and gets a good laugh out of it

taps your shoulder and then looks away when you glare at him but ends up pointing at the kid like the kid's the one who did it-

when the two are a giggling mess it's hard to differentiate who's the actual kid from the parent

sings with his kids a lot. might vocally train them a bit too

road trips are gonna be so much more fun when everyone's singing at the top of their lungs

when his kid is older and starts to get school assignments that require some form of art like creating a model or designing a poster, his kid is definitely going to score an A because jongho can and WILL help and end up over-achieving LOL

will plan with his kids on days like valentine's or mother's day or anniversary, prepare to get serenaded by the lot

he involves them a lot in everything so they grow up super smart

loves doing stupid things with the kids too like he'll literally be the one following the kids at times

but you love it bc you never have to worry about anything with him ;-; <3 he's also super protective

unless there's a bug in front of you. then you're all on your own.

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sxcret-garden · 4 months

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Ateez when they're jealous ღ NSFW Edition [M]

ღ Ateez all members x fem-bodied!reader ღ genre: smut, headcanons (dom-sub dynamics in some parts, semi-public sex in some parts, most of them get more or less possessive) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption in some parts

Author's note: Maybe I went a liiiittle overboard with this.... maybe I'm also very tempted to turn one of these into a full fic....

Hongjoong:

He's usually one to deal with his jealousy in a very adult manner and simply talk it out with you. However, after coming home jealous one day and having what was probably the best sex in your relationship up until that point, you've made an arrangement to deal with your jealousy in the bedroom. So it's really become more of a game to him than a pestering feeling to get rid of asap. And today as well, after you've spent a little too much time (in his opinion) having a very engaged conversation with the cute waiter of your regular place to get dinner, Hongjoong can't wait to get home and to drag you off to his bed. And that's exactly what he does, as you're filled with expectation because you didn't exactly miss the evil smirks he's been giving you throughout dinner, and you could guess what would be coming once you're home. He's moving slowly as he crawls on top of you, brushing his lips against yours in teasing kisses, and then telling you to strip naked for him. Will be the biggest little shit ever as he touches you in all the ways he knows will rile you up, and has you cursing underneath him when he pulls his fingers out of you just as you're about to cum. "You're gonna have to beg for it, babe," he whispers, licking his fingers clean. "I'm not gonna let you cum until I know you can't take it anymore."

Seonghwa:

Is so shocked when after weeks of suffering he finally figures out that seeing you with your male best friend makes him jealous, that he impulsively decides to get (almost blackout) drunk. What he forgot to consider was that you were scheduled to make dinner with him at his place, and so when you walk in on him having downed what's probably his third bottle of soju you're definitely mad at him. Wondering whether it'd even make sense to try to reason with your drunk boyfriend, you do eventually end up scolding him, but the second you're within reach he pulls you down onto his sofa, crawling on top of you. He's blushing from the alcohol, and usually you'd have found that cute, but today the cold stare he gives you makes you shiver. Worriedly, you ask what's wrong with him, and finally he explains. "I'm jealous. Like really jealous of your best friend. And drinking it away wasn't the best choice but right now I just need to make you mine." You're not sure if you should be impressed how in control he is for the amount he drank or if you should just be insanely turned on by his words, but when you give him permission with a nod it's not like he leaves you any time to think about this further anyway. Has you both naked in no time and pins you down as he fucks you rough, and if you think he'll be satisfied with giving you just one or two orgasms that night, you couldn't be more wrong.

Yunho:

Doesn't get jealous ever, except for that one time when you had only just started dating and were still in a bit of an awkward phase of figuring everything out together. Now usually he doesn't mind you going out to see your other guy friends, he has no reason to worry about that because he trusts you to never betray him. However, who he doesn't trust is that one guy who very obviously has a crush on you and he wouldn't put it past him to try to steal you away. And so he even went so far as to warn you about it, but you just brushed it off, defending the other guy and saying he's just a friend. And well, when one night your boyfriend witnesses how that guy drops you off at Yunho's place and he's being just a little too touchy before he hugs you goodbye, that's when the jealousy sets in. Needless to say he's upset when you walk inside, and not knowing what to do with that feeling, he simply kisses you. And it's a passionate kiss filled with need, the kind of kiss you've never received from your boyfriend up until that point. Yet he takes the lead, and soon he pushes you up against a wall, hands roaming your body and his lips nipping at your throat. "I don't ever want to see that guy touching you like that again," he mutters, rolling his clothed hard on against your hips, making you throw your head back. "You're mine and nobody else's." When he feels you going limp in his hold and all you can do is agree and whine at his touch, he takes you right then and there, proving to you that nobody could ever make you feel as good as he can.

Yeosang:

When he's jealous he needs reassurance above all else, especially towards the beginning of your relationship. The only problem is that he's kinda slow at figuring out that he's jealous, and so it's often you who picks up the cues before he does. And you know he tends to get sulky and avoidant when he feels bad but can't quite put his finger on why, so one day you decide to try to help him out of that. And so you approach him, telling him straightforward that you want to have sex with him. And pulling him out of his bubble takes a while of hesitation from his side, but when you take him by the hand to walk him to your bedroom, he doesn't protest. Crawling on top of him and making out with him, you wait until you can feel him somewhat relax underneath you. Your fingers of one hand tangled in his hair while the other roams his toned upper body has him melting underneath you, and just then you ask him whether he's jealous, in the sweetest tone you can muster. "I... I think so," he mumbles. "Do you need me to prove to you that I only want you?" you ask, and Yeosang nods. And you'd be surprised how quickly he can go from desperately clinging to you as you get him off slowly, humming praises for your boyfriend, to him flipping your positions around and with a "Sorry, I need this now" he starts thrusting into you, hard and slow. The pace as well as him suddenly taking charge of the situation makes you see stars, and his desperate but possessive groans could make you cum right then and there.

San:

Seems more helpless than anything else the second he comes back from picking up some takeout coffee for the both of you when he sees a complete stranger flirting with you, and you doing nothing to ward the guy off. And of course he'd be jealous at the sight, but he decides to play the tough guy for now, telling the guy off as he approaches. "Dude, what are you doing flirting with my girlfriend?" He puts an emphasis on his last word, and his voice sounds darker than usual. And though the stranger leaves immediately and you two continue your date as usual, something's off about San once you arrive home. Dragging you off to the bedroom by the sleeve of your shirt, he doesn't say anything and doesn't let you see his face right until he has you pinned to the bed, hovering above you and pressing a fiery kiss to your lips. Clothes don't stay on for long, and when he finally has his hips snapping into you, you have to slow him down from how rough he's being. "Fuck, that guy pissed me off," he mutters as he buries his face in your neck, leaving his mark there. When he has you coming undone underneath him, he doesn't stop, continuing to fuck you towards your next high, and your head starts to spin when you hear his next words, growled into your ear, "Don't ever flirt with another man again. Don't even look at someone else, or do you think anyone else could ever fuck you this good?"

Mingi:

Well if he isn't a wild card idk what. Gets jealous rather easily, and from him sulking like a kid to him taking charge and dragging you off to the nearest secluded space, anything could happen. It entirely depends on his mood that day, and a bit on the situation too. Mingi definitely needs you to comfort him if it's the former option, but the good news is that he'll be fine rather quickly after you assure him he has nothing to worry about. However, after you've been dating for a while and he's internalized that you're not gonna let someone else take you away from him, that helplessness soon turns into anger at whatever guy is flirting with you. And so one night when you're out with friends, all being a bit tipsy and this one guy just won't stop giving you all of his attention, Mingi eventually shoots up from his seat and drags you to the restrooms without an explanation. Kisses you feverishly after locking up the stall he entered with you, and only when you ask him what's wrong he gives you an explanation. "I don't like the way that guy looks at you. It pisses me off," he hisses, before going right back to kissing you. His hand finding your core underneath your clothes in no time, he starts fingering you, even teasing you about how you're already wet for him, and eventually he'll flip you around so he can grind his clothed bulge against your ass as he gets you off, relishing in the way you're desperately trying to suppress all noises.

Wooyoung:

Big switch energy so this can go one of two ways, but after the initial deep conversation you had about jealousy and how you can trust each other despite that feeling sometimes arising, the one thing that's for sure is that you're gonna resolve it with sex. Even when the jealousy is barely even there, just like earlier today when you had commented to your boyfriend on how handsome one of Wooyoung's friends looks in his latest insta post, he doesn't miss the opportunity to seek proof that at the end of the day you only have eyes for him. "And what about me?" he'll asks as he walks up to you from behind, hands put on your waist and his lips ghosting above your neck. The tone of his voice gives his intentions away immediately, and it doesn't take long for him to spin you around in his hold so he could kiss you, dragging you off to the nearest surface to have sex with you on (whether that's the bed, the sofa, or the dining table he doesn't care). And it really all depends on your mood whether he'll pin you against it, making you beg for him until he's satisfied, or put all the power into your hands and let you have his way with him until he's the one whining for your touch. One way or the other, the reason for his jealousy will soon be forgotten, because now all that matters is you and him chasing pleasure together.

Jongho:

You're at a party hosted by a mutual friend of yours, and from the moment you dressed up at home you've known that your outfit choice today is doing something to your boyfriend from the looks he's been giving you. You like the attention, you're not gonna lie, and you can imagine what this night will lead to once you're back in the comfort of your own home, after making him stare at you all evening. However, what you didn't expect were the death glares he's been giving one of your male childhood friends who's been occupying you ever since you walked into that party. You know Jongho isn't the type to get jealous easily, but when he does he usually struggles with expressing it. However, you also know your boyfriend will usually do the right thing anyway, and so when he pulls you into the empty kitchen and locks the door behind himself, you expect him to simply tell you about his feelings. What you certainly do not expect is him backing you up against a counter with a possessive stare glued to your lips. "What's wrong...?" Kisses you instead of answering your question and makes your head spin from the way he runs his hands down your body alone. There's need and anger behind his actions, and in no time he has you pressed up against the kitchen counter, facing the wall now, both your pants and underwear pulled down just enough so he could fuck you from behind, teasing you with just his tip until he has you begging for more, and this really is just what he needed to alleviate his unnecessary feelings of jealousy...

#ateez smut #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez x fem reader #ateez headcanons #hongjoong smut #seonghwa smut #yunho smut #yeosang smut #san smut #mingi smut #wooyoung smut #jongho smut #smut

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luvh4nji · 4 months

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𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐙 + 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐒/𝐎

warning: general drunkenness, reader is referred to as "girl" in san's

seonghwa ; he's so unbelievably soft for you. something about having his pretty baby so in love with him, hanging off his arm and pressing your side impossibly closer to his, even when you're not completely yourself, makes his heart swell in his chest, his stomach doing somersaults.

"be careful, love." he chastises you gently, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to his side, thumb rubbing little circles on the skin of your shoulder. "don't want you getting into trouble, yeah?" and you just swoon over him, turning in his hold so your arms snaking around his own shoulders, nuzzling into his chest. and you're too hazy to notice the soft look in his eyes and the soft blush that covers his cheeks.

hongjoong ; he seems like the type to be a little insecure in a relationship. he's so busy, he porbably doesn't feel like he gives you enough attention and it gets him down a little bit. the question of what if you find someone who treats you better? always sits in the back of his mind. but when you get all clingy and sweet with him when you get a little drunk at the studio, his worries almost seem to dissipate.

"and those are the reasons why..." you start, cutting yourself off with a hiccup, resting your head against his chest from your spot in his lap. "those are the reasons why i love you." you finish, smiling to yourself in your drunken daze. "ah, okay, i see. " he indulges, nodding and smiling down at the mess you are in his lap. he hears something that sounds like a muffled "you better" coming from you, feeling the vibrations of your voice as he runs his fingers down your back.

yunho ; he would think you're the cutest thing he's ever seen <3 he's truly the type to be completely entranced by his partner and to see you have that same reverence for him? it just makes him so, so happy. he's the type to have you close to him all night, sitting in the booth of the bar wiht his arm slung around your shoulders while you lean against him, ead on his chest, hand lifted to hold his, looking up at him like he hung the stars in the sky.

"you feeling okay, baby?" he asks, noticing how quiet you'd gotten. and you'd just nod against his chest, sniffing a little bit from the drinks, mumbling that you're fine and that you just want to look at him, blinking slowly as you explain yourself. and he gets so red, smiling brightly and keeping you close to his chest proudly while the rest of the guys at the booth tease you relentlessly.

yeosang ; he gets so shy and flusterd, poor guy :( he's not a very touchy person, generally speaking, so when you go to him, laying your head in his lap where he was sitting on the couch in your apartment, once the sleepy affect of the beverage has sunken in, gazing up at him with big, lovestruck eyes, he can't help the soft pink that colors the shells of his ears.

"are you okay, y/n?" he asks, voice low, with that shy quality to it, as you look up at him, your hand reaching to cup his face, fingers tracing his birthmark delicately. "better than okay, sangie." you grin, running a thumb over the crest of his cheekbone. "i got so lucky-- to have someone to beautiful." you hiccup through your words, making him look up and away from your reverent expression, biting the inside of his cheek to hold in a smile.

san ; loves it. adores it even. you already knows he's absolutely a clingy drunk and he loves that you are too because it just proves to him how perfect you are for each other. he's the type to believe in soulmates and this is his sign. he just loves how you look at up at him, blinking slowly, and grabbing his hands, pressing little kisses to his knuckles and telling him how how handsome he is.

"yeah, honey? i'm the prettiest boy you've ever seen?" he asks, half-teasing, but you just nod in agreement, movements slow and lazy due to the alcohol flowing through your system. "i'm glad you think that." he says through a soft smile, reaching to ruffle your hair from you're leaning against his chest. "cause you're the prettiest girl i've ever seen. makes us a perfect match, doesn't it?"

mingi ; adores you when you get clingy. he's absolutely the type to revel in your physical nature. he loves how you excited you get to see him when he comes to pick you up from the bar after your friends had called him, asking for his assistance in getting you home. he loves how you run up to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek, telling him how much you missed these past few hours that you'd been out.

"missed me?" he asks, only half-teasing, laughing to himself when you nod against his chest, mussing your hair in the process. "i missed you, too, honey." he grins, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. "now lets get you home, yeah?" and he smiles to himself at how you cling onto his arm, grip vice-like in the car.

wooyoung ; he doesn't seem like the type to let himself be soft often. he feels like he has to be funny or flirty or abrasive at all times, but all those walls come down when he's around you, especially when your uninhibited and he knows you need his help. his voice gets so soft, touch gentle as he lets you wrap yourself around him, nuzzling into his chest, pressing sloppy kisses to the skin there.

"okay, baby," he starts when your body goes nearly limp against his. "you think it's time to go home?" and you just shake your head, hair mussing against him, before raising your gaze to meet his and mumbling something about how you'd go wherever he wanted you to. and he'd just laugh, soft and warm, wrapping an arm around your waist and leading you out of the bar. "alright, alright. let's get you home, lovey.

jongho ; although he doesn't necessarily seem like the clingiest person himself, he does seem like the type to enjoy having a clingy partner. it has something to do with him liking to be needed. it makes his chest puff up in pride and his eyes shine when you latch onto him. especially when you're all hazy and uninhibited, letting him take care of you.

"oh, really?" he grins pulling you close to him as you grapple onto his strong arms as you mumble something about how strong he is and how you adore him and everything he does for you. "you need me that much?" he asks, tone almost condescending if it wasn't him, and if you weren't inebriated. he shifts his grip around you as you nod againist his arm, staring up at him with big, sparkly eyes. the image of you so adoring of him makes his heart swell in his chest, biting his lip and trying to swallow his smile.

#ateez #atz #ateez reactions #atz reactions #ateez imagines #atz imagines #ateez fluff #atz fluff #ateez headcanons #atz headcanons #jung wooyoung #park seonghwa #choi san #kang yeosang #song mingi #choi jongho #kim hongjoong #jeong yunho

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sanspuppet · 4 months

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Smut (MDNI)

today i kept daydreaming about this fucking man dirty talking to his s/o while driving her to her climax

reader is horny just like me rn, i was going crazy while writing it huh

W/T: unprotected sex, big dick Mingi (cuz yeah he has), dirty talking, kinda spanking kink (?)

“Fuck yeah, you like it?” Mingi slams his cock inside you from behind. Your slutty instinct makes you arch your back as you feel his length diving deeper into your throbbing pussy, letting out high pitched (occasionally broken) moans, making you and a horny pornostar sound alike. Your ass cheeks are covered by red handprints of Mingi, as he likes to see them jiggle by his sharp spanks. “No one else could fuck you like this, agree?” his low, cocky voice booms inside the bedroom, but knowing that your mind’s completely persuaded by his dick, you take a few seconds to develop a quick reply: “y-yeah!” He grips harshly your ass, making your lower body stay still when he pumps into you even rougher. “A slut like you would like to get fucked by other cocks, don’t you? Huh? Or you want to be ruined only by me?” His voice sounds possessive, Mingi always wants to fuck raw, the thought of breeding you and mark you as his gets his mind blurry every time he’s about to cum inside your aroused cunt. “Answer baby, you’d like to be fucked by other men?” His thrusts are getting more decisive than before, insisting on you to get any reply. “D-dick” is quite embarrassing that’s all you can articulate, earning a confident chuckle by Mingi: “Yeah, who’s it?” your body starts to move oppositely to his, now you’re the one who’s fucking herself. “Y-yours… so g-good.” Your ass rolls rhythmically along with his cock inside you, pushing your restricted area further against his pelvis, enough for his tip to hit your overstimulated g-spot and help you reaching your orgasm. Your moves are so smooth and natural that make Mingi smirk at the sight, palming your soft body, while it tries to worship his leaking member. “Fuck” he lets out a deep groan, squeezing his eyes with joy. “How many pornos have you watched, princess? where did you learn how to move like a fucking slut?” Mingi’s forcing himself not to record a quick video of you right in this moment, watching you becoming a desperate mess while you’re using his dick to please you. He glances at your neck, covered with purple marks that he made just before fucking into you. “How many, huh? are you too fucked out to even think properly?” You bury your head into the pillow, moans and whines are muffled by it, once he takes the lead again. “Mmh fuck- lots.” Mingi leans over your back, holding on his wrists and knees as he keeps pumping into you, occasionally biting the soft skin of your shoulder.

“Yeah babe, keep making such sweet noises while i fuck you till oblivion.”

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nateezfics · 5 months

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ATEEZ AND FACE SITTING

PAIRING — ateez x reader

GENRE — smut, boyfriend!ateez, fem!reader, dom!ateez, sub!reader

WARNINGS — smut, oral (f receiving), face sitting, overstimulation, unprotected sex, dry humping, edging//orgasm denial, dirty talk//sexual language

WORD COUNT — 2k

SUMMARY — as the title suggests, face sitting with ateez.

HONGJOONG

hongjoong wanted, needed, you on his tongue first thing that morning. the moment his eyes opened and he gained his consciousness, the craving for you hit him hard. you looked so peaceful sleeping next to him, it was just too bad he couldn’t resist the urge to wake you up. he barely offered you any time to process before he was hoisting you up on your knees, slipping himself underneath you. he didn’t waste much time on undressing you, only ridding you of your pajama bottoms. he pushed your panties to the side and groaned at the delectable sight of your pussy, already coming to life with that slickness he craved so badly. he licked a long stripe over your folds and god, he felt like he had been starving for years. his hands urged your hips down until you were literally sitting on his face. he couldn’t breathe, but he was content. if he died like this, he’d die a happy man. your scent, your taste was all around him.

“mmh, baby, you taste so fucking good,” hongjoong praised between sucks on your clit. “gonna let me eat you out, yeah? gonna ride my face until you cum, hm?”

you exhaled shakily just as your hands reached out towards the headboard. “y-yes, hongjoong. yes.”

hongjoong chuckled against you before offering you one quick plunge of his tongue between your folds. “you’re such a good girl for me, and you are the most delicious breakfast i could ever have.”

SEONGHWA

seonghwa grunted as he fucked into you. his hands had a vice grip on your waist, pulling you backwards to meet him every time his hips snapped forward. his eyes were fixed on your ass, your pretty bum on full display for him with you in this position. he could also see your soaked cunt, stuffed so full of him and leaking with your arousal. you were close, and with just a few more ruts into you, he was able to push you over the edge. he stilled while you came around him, and willed himself not to bust as your walls gripped his length. your release fell down your thighs and his, and he couldn’t help but think about how delicious you tasted. suddenly all he wanted was your release on his tongue. seonghwa slipped himself out of you, and when you moved to follow him, he insisted you stay just like that. he did urge you to sit up straighter and widen your legs, and you were confused until his head was seated between your thighs.

“i just can’t help myself. i need to taste your cum all over my tongue, baby.” he lapped and sucked on your pussy, and the noises he made were absolute filth, but they only made you wetter.

piggybacking off your previous high, you were quick to near your second orgasm. you moaned at the overstimulation. “hwa, i’m gonna cum again…”

seonghwa laughed. “go ahead, cum for me again. cum all over my face, and i’ll make sure to savor every drop.”

YUNHO

there was something about the way you looked in his clothes. seeing you in any of his clothes made him feel slightly short of breath, but the way you appeared now, in nothing but his hoodie, had his cock stirring to life in his sweats. the material would hike up as you moved, leaving your panty clad ass on full display for him. you wandered around the kitchen in search for something to snack on while yunho watched. his tall frame leaned over the counter, eyes never leaving you, while you remained oblivious. yunho had the insatiable desire to be suffocated by your thighs and your pussy, and he was only able to remain still for a moment later before crossing the kitchen and taking you in his arms. you were confused, but let him lead you to your shared room regardless, having a slight idea of what he was after. you were plopped onto the bed, yunho following you shortly after. he situated your body until you were straddling his mid section.

“sit on my face.” there was no room to question him. he looked as if he was going to perish any moment if you didn’t do as he wanted. “fucking please.”

you rid yourself of you panties and hovered over his face. you barely applied any pressure, something he didn’t approve of. he yanked you down onto himself until he had a face full of your pussy, tongue quick to flatten itself against your folds. you moaned, hand reaching to grab onto his hair.

yunho devoured you. he ate you up like you were the last meal he’d ever have. he made sure to keep you in place, not wanting you to move even the slightest bit. “when i say sit on my face, i mean sit on it.”

YEOSANG

it was late. so fucking late. you both needed to sleep, but neither of you cared to pull away from each other long enough to find any rest. yeosang groaned when your hips rolled over his, clothed pussy grinding against his erection. his hands gripped your ass and urged you to do that again, and again and again. he opened his eyes enough to look up at you, so beautiful in the dim moonlight. he was enraptured, so absolutely caught up in the way you looked as your face contorted in pleasure. he wanted you to feel more, just so he could see you make more of those expressions. he pulled at your panties until you understood what he wanted. you let him pull the lace material off your body, and let him bring your body up to his face. yeosang kissed your inner thighs just as they settled on either side of his face. you sighed when his warm breath blew against your sex.

“my pretty girl,” yeosang complimented just before licking your clit. “my sweet girl.” his tongue pushed itself between your folds, toying with your entrance. his eyes were trained on you, watching the way your head fell backwards.

you moaned, hips rocking across his face. “yeosang, oh my god. that feels so good.”

“yeah? use my face, baby. use it to get yourself off. fuck yourself on my tongue until you cum, and don’t stop until you’ve had your fill.”

SAN

san was addicted to you. your taste. he wanted you on his tongue every waking moment. he loved having you straddle his face, suffocating him with your body weight, face full of your pussy. he tasted you until he was absolutely pussy drunk. he was insatiable. he sucked on your clit, eliciting the nosy pitiful moan from you. you tried to pick your hips up to run away from his tongue, but he was quick to bring you back down onto his face again. “please, one more for me. i know you can give me one more.” he kept attention on your clit despite your whines. your thighs were shaking from the overstimulation. you’d lost count how many orgasms he’d pulled from you, and san was too preoccupied with your dripping pussy to count at all.

“san, it’s t-too much…” you cried as you felt yet another orgasm building fast.

“one more,” he repeated. “one more for me. let me taste you one more time, please.” san pushed his tongue into, fucking you with it. he urged your hips back and forth, your clit bumping his nose in a way that had your back arching. you fell apart quickly after, spilling over his tongue and face. san lapped up every bit eagerly before helping you onto your side. he kissed your temple. “so good for me.”

MINGI

it all started when you made a comment about his nose, telling him how pretty it was and how perfect it’d be to sit on. mingi was bashful and confused at first, but the more he thought about being nose first in your pussy, the more aroused he became. he was willing to try to please you, but the moment your pretty pussy pressed onto his face, clit bumping his nose, he became the one who was pleased. your hips glided back and forth while he thrusted his tongue in and out of you, and your clit grazed his nose rhythmically. the pleasure was beyond what you imagined, and mingi had just found his newest passion in life. he was going to need you on his face just like this again and again. mingi groaned when you pressed your sex into his face, letting you use him to find your release. his hands massaged your thighs, and he adored the way they shook under his touch. you were soaked, he could feel you dripping down his chin, pussy drenched as you came closer to your high.

“does this feel good, baby?” he asked you, already knowing the answer. he smiled at the sound of your small whimper.

“f-fuck yes, mingi! so good. g-gonna cum on your face.”

“mmh, that’s right. cum all over my face,” he urged you, burying his nose in your cunt. “yeah, baby, just like that.”

WOOYOUNG

“uh uh, baby. can’t cum yet.” wooyoung laughed at your pitiful whine. he was feeling particularly devilish tonight, teasing and toying with you simply because he enjoyed it. he loved your pouts and cries, your pleas, the way your body shook from another withheld orgasm. your cunt dripped above his face, so red and swollen and pretty. wooyoung could’ve lied there for hours, just admiring your sex and and the way you looked above him. of course he was going to give you what you wanted, but he wanted to drag it out as long as possible. he blew on your pussy, his breath cool against your heat, making your thighs shiver and goosebumps erupt on your skin. “oh, such a sensitive baby.”

you tried to sink onto his face further to feel some sort of friction, but his hands kept you in place. “wooyoung, please, let me cum.”

wooyoung smirked. “you wanna cum?” his tongued pressed into your clit and your reaction was immediate. he lapped and sucked until you were at the edge again. but before you could finally tip over, he pulled his mouth off of you. he laughed again when you cried. “don’t worry, baby. i’ll let you cum, but i’m not done playing yet.”

JONGHO

jongho’s thoughts were anything but innocent. with the way you looked in that dress, all of his thoughts were centered around getting you out of it. you sat across the dinner table, looking absolutely ravishing and completely aware of the state your boyfriend was in. with a smirk, you revealed to him that you just so happened to be wearing nothing underneath your dress. you enjoyed the firm set of his jaw and the way his grip tightened around his wine glass. it didn’t make much longer to finish dinner, jongho swiftly escorting you to your shared home. your dress was off the second you crossed your front door; there was no gentleness in the way he ripped it off you, but you barely had time to complain about the state of your dress before you were picked up and carried to the bedroom. jongho was quick to flip the two of you until you were on top and straddling his face. “you’re such a little slut, not wearing anything under your dress. is that what you wanted, hm? to get me all riled up like this?”

you moaned as your pussy made contact with his eager tongue. you smiled as he began to ravish you, enjoying the pleasure and the way your boyfriend seemed to lack any ounce of self control. you loved when he was like this. “yes,” you breathed, eyes fluttering as you succumbed to the pleasure. “and i am a slut, i’m your slut.”

jongho groaned. “that’s right. you are my slut,” he sucked on your clit. “now be a good slut for me and cum on my face.”

AUTHOR’S NOTES — been meaning to do this forever;; the way i feel like every single member of ateez would be absolutely in love with their partner sitting on their face 😫 they’d eat that shit up (heheh😏)

i’ve opened up a ko-fi shop! link to it is on the pinned post on my blog. if you enjoyed this, or enjoy any of my work, a donation would be very appreciated! of course, a reblog and nice words would be just as meaningful💕

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NETWORKS — @kflixnet @wonderlandnet

ALL FICS ARE THE ORIGINAL IDEAS AND WRITTEN WORKS OF NATEEZFICS. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. REPOSTING WITHOUT CONSENT FROM THE AUTHOR NATEEZFICS IS PROHIBITED!

#wonderlandnet #ateez smut #ateez smut drabbles #ateez x reader #ateez fanfiction #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader

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eightmakesonebraincell · 2 months

Text

ateez as pirates who fall for you (hyung line)

read maknae line here

genre: pirate!ateez x gn!reader (fem!reader for hongjoong), fluff, angst, crack, and as always - a brainrot of every pirate trope to exist

length: 10.4k

c/w: heavy and mature themes - mdni, explicit language (swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, illegal acts (piracy, ransoming, verbal abuse, abduction), alcohol, pet names

a/n: maknae line will come yes but who knows when 🤷‍♀️ work has been really testing my dopamine vibes this year 😔👎 thank you @sorryimananti-romantic for keeping a detailed hitlist for me ♡

hongjoong

pov: you're a royal princess rescued by him

“captain, are you sure we can’t toss her overboard?”

jongho and hongjoong watch as wooyoung’s face falls after you pointedly ignore his attempts to make conversation once again

for someone who is technically their guest aboard the arriba, it seems as though you are hellbent on being as difficult as you can be

“unfortunately, we can’t,” hongjoong grouches to the younger, “not unless we want to exchange our payment for a hefty bounty on our own heads”

when jongho sighs, the captain squeezes his shoulder in comfort and adds on, “trust me, i’ve thought about it too”

hongjoong and his crew are privateers - pirates in theory, but technically excused so long as they have their letter of marque to state that they are authorised to attack other vessels

rescuing a royal princess was never explicitly part of the contract, although he thinks that not rescuing you would have pretty much been equivalent to a blatant show of insubordination

you had been taken ransom by one of the merchant ships the arriba had been plundering

needless to say, they had been close to tossing you overboard too; your kingdom had never paid for your ransom

the lack of response from your parents wasn’t anything you weren’t expecting but it’s a sore spot nonetheless

so it’s certainly hard for you to play friendly when you’re quite literally shucked off from stranger to stranger faster than a hot potato

san tugs wooyoung closer towards him and gently says to you, “he’s just trying to be nice - we all are”

the movement doesn’t go unnoticed by you

“i don’t need your pity,” you answer, the only sentence you have spoken today

you’ve lived two decades of your life pretending you don’t see the pitying gazes of your maids and butlers

you certainly don’t need pity from these people - pirates no less

“it’s not-” wooyoung starts to say

but the captain steps in before he can defend himself

“if this is how you’re always acting, i’m starting to see why your kingdom never paid for your ransom”

had hongjoong been less preoccupied by your words, he would have realised that your tone is candid, as if it is only natural for the people around you to pity you

but he’s clouded with his mindset as captain, unable to stand by idly while his own crew put up with your attitude, and so the words come out anyway - shards of shrapnel that bury themselves into your heart

there is only a fleeting second when your eyes dilate with hurt

you conceal it immediately, replacing it with a steely gaze, yet the image has already seared itself into hongjoong’s mind

“maybe you should throw me overboard, then,” you counter, “i’m sure my family will thank you for it”

and even if you have completely neutralised your expression, no one misses the wounded tone of your voice before you disappear down into the lower deck

mingi lets out a low whistle after the resounding slam of the hatch closing

“you fucked up, captain”

hongjoong doesn’t need anyone to spell it out for him

the heavy feeling in his stomach is telling enough

it isn’t until the moon has long since risen that you emerge through the hatch again

you had bypassed the sleeping quarters to the hold, wedging yourself between barrels of grain until you were sure no one would find you

not that they would have tried to anyway - seonghwa had told them all to give you some space

you had run your finger up and down the sides of the barrels repetitively for hours on end, mind simultaneously void and filled with thoughts

the walls you had built around yourself kept you safe, but it had started to become awfully lonely after a while

when it had become a little too suffocating in the hold and you guessed that most of the crew was asleep, you had softly padded back up the stairs and across the main deck

you now sit on the foredeck where the endless expanse of the sea stretches out in front of you, closing your eyes and letting the swaying of the ship lull you into tranquillity

tonight, the moon winks down fondly upon the waters

hongjoong watches you from the quarterdeck

he’s seen you sit at the front of the ship on many nights when you should really have been asleep

he wonders if you’ve always looked so small and fragile with your knees drawn up to your chest, or whether it’s because the flash of hurt in your eyes and voice is still fresh in his mind

“go, captain,” yunho murmurs from where he’s at the helm, “it’s a quiet night”

hongjoong startles at having been caught gazing, clearing his throat and dragging his eyes away

“why should i, if she’s just going to ignore me?” he scoffs

but he knows he’s just being petty at this point and his chest churns in agreement

“maybe,” yunho hums softly in response. “did seonghwa ever give up on you, though?”

it’s rhetorical - hongjoong knows the answer better than anyone

the captain doesn’t say anything but after several beats of silence, he sighs and makes a move to the foredeck where you are

yunho smiles to himself

you and hongjoong may be more similar than his captain realises

your shoulders stiffen when the sound of hongjoong’s footsteps approaches

you’re not sure what to expect and you don’t exactly want to find out and risk getting hurt

but having spent all day swimming alone in your thoughts, you do want to show that you feel apologetic because admittedly, you were being an ass too

getting up to walk away when he’s taken the first step certainly won’t help your case

you hold your breath in awkward silence as he settles down beside you, leaving a respectable distance between your hunched figures

only now is hongjoong realising that he hasn’t actually thought about or decided on what he wants to say to you

but he can feel the confusion rolling off of you in waves, so he grits his teeth and says fuck it

“i won’t apologise for defending my crew, but i’m sorry for how i did it and for what i said”

he hopes you know he is sincere when he continues, “we all have our prickly edges. i can’t fault you for yours”

compassion is a foreign concept to you and so you’re a little stumped for words

hongjoong isn’t sure whether your silence is a good or bad thing, but you have yet to stand up and walk away from the conversation

“there’s only about a week left until we reach port and we’ll leave after you make it back to your kingdom and we receive our payment. i’m not asking for you to be friendly, but let’s at least be civil with each other until then,” he says

you want to nod, agree, anything

and yet you can’t seem to make your head move or the words to come out of your mouth

rome was not built in a day. but neither did its walls fall in a day

hongjoong doesn’t push for an answer when instead, you ask, “how many people have you actually tossed overboard before?”

he resists the urge to laugh at your question, suddenly endeared by the fact that you’re still bothered by his very empty threat

“none, but my offer still stands. you’re welcome to be my first,” he deadpans

you let out a snort and although you quickly turn your head away, hongjoong sees the hint of amusement in your eyes

no further words are exchanged between the two of you and you do not acknowledge him when he eventually stands to rejoin yunho at the helm

but it’s a start

and as with any relationship, be it friend, foe, or lover, there is always that

a beginning.

hongjoong isn’t really expecting much to change immediately so he doesn’t pay you much mind when you walk into the mess hall the following morning

you hesitate at the entrance when you see most of the crew are already present, the conversation you had with hongjoong last night replaying at the forefront of your mind

you chew on the inside of your mouth

wooyoung stops mid-conversation at the scrape of a plate on the table, looking up to find you sliding into the seat beside him with a tight-lipped smile

to your surprise, he greets you with enthusiasm and immediately drags you into the conversation

hongjoong watches as you slowly warm up and add one or two comments of your own in between bites of your hardtack

and when he catches your gaze after staring for too long, he gives you a smile to convey his appreciation; to acknowledge your efforts

you return it with a small smile of your own and unbeknownst to you, it stays on your face for the rest of the day

slowly, there become more and more reasons that elicit a smile out of you

you still sit out on the foredeck when everyone else has gone to sleep, but on most nights, hongjoong will join you even if just for a while

the two of you are content to sit side by side with nothing but the steady pulse of the ocean and intermittent creaks of the ship’s hull to break the silence of the night

tonight though, you find curiosity burning through you

“what’s it like?” you ask

“being a pirate?” he clarifies

you shrug vaguely, unsure yourself either, “being a pirate. being at sea. sailing with your crew”

he takes a moment to gather his thoughts - not because he doesn’t know what to say, but because there is too much he wants to say

when hongjoong answers, his voice rumbles softly from within his chest, tender and heartfelt

“there’s a sense of freedom that you can’t obtain when you’re bound to land and society. sailing the waters, the only limits are those of the open seas and of your own compass… the sunrises, the storms, the moonlight - it all becomes part of your home”

hongjoong leans back to rest on the palms of his hands, tilting his gaze up towards the twinkling sky

he reflects, “you experience brotherhood and gain a family that is worth multitudes more than the treasures you can accumulate, even if you were to live as a pirate for several lifetimes”

you’re enraptured by his words, like poetry that swirls off the pages of a book and drifts into your very soul

“i may be the captain of this crew, but they make me who i am. without them, i am nothing”

his words wash over you and unearth vivid memories

“that’s what the queen always says to me,” you reveal

a small smile starts to grace hongjoong’s face, but it falls just as quickly when he hears your next words

“that without her - without her title - i am nothing”

it’s funny, how the same phrase can hold such different meanings; can evoke such different emotions

you don’t elaborate any further, but hongjoong doesn’t think he needs you to in order for him to understand

he just wishes he had more time to show you that your mother is wrong

he can’t though

tomorrow they reach port and you will return to your rightful place in the palace

“tell me more about your crew,” you attempt to change the topic, “how did you all find each other?”

so hongjoong tells you

he talks for hours and hours and you listen all the while with a heavy heart, clinging onto his every word

on your final night, you two stay like that until the stars disappear and the horizon becomes streaked with the pale hues of sunrise

after the ship docks mere hours later, only hongjoong accompanies you to your kingdom after goodbyes are exchanged

wooyoung doesn’t take it well, and you find yourself holding back tears of your own as you are let through the palace doors with the captain by your side

but you blink them away when you approach the throne room because vulnerability is not an emotion you are willing to display

“y/n”

the queen addresses you curtly when you enter, and hongjoong wonders for a split second whether he has brought you back to the wrong kingdom

he knows your mother does not treat you fondly, but it’s still staggering to see it before his very own eyes

the monarch glances distastefully over him before her eyes flicker back to you

“i did not expect your return,” she states

your eyes remain impassive as you merely answer, “neither am i delighted to be back”

hongjoong recognises this look

he’s seen it when you first boarded his ship; he’s seen it when your hackles were raised

he’s seen it in himself, when he had been a teenager filled with nothing but growing resentment, before he had met seonghwa

your mother sneers, “then you should have made yourself useful and stayed with the pirates. as a whore or a dog, whatever it took.”

hongjoong has understood you since learning of your demons, but right now, he is you

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, standing before a couple who are his parents only by title

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, who doesn’t know what he has done that deems him undeserving of love

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, all alone with no one to take his hand

“or really, you should have died on the ship”

hongjoong is close enough to you to hear the small hitch in your breath at your mother’s final jab

he may not have had someone to save his younger self, but he can do that now

he can be the person he so desperately needed years ago

and so he does just that.

hongjoong grabs your hand and drags you out of the palace

no one stops the two of you from leaving and he is unsure whether his heart hurts for you or sings with relief

you can only stutter in shock as you try to keep up, “hongjoong, what about your payment?”

his determined steps do not slow down, even as he looks back at you with a sure smile, “i told you before. some things are worth more than money”

the comforting squeeze of his hand conveys that you are worth more than any amount of money

the form of the arriba grows bigger in the distance and you think you can see the movement of excitement on deck when the crew spots your figures

hongjoong has slowed down his steps, but he has yet to let go of your hand

“and you deserve to know that. welcome to the crew, y/n”

to a family and love that you never had

you think you like the sound of that

“thank you, captain”

seonghwa

pov: you're a royal navy officer in disguise

you lay awake in your hammock, listening to the soft snores of the crew members around you

sleep doesn’t come easy to you anymore

particularly tonight

you contemplate whether it’s worth the risk to simply not show up

you know what the consequences are if they capture you - a slow and painful death - but you’re unsure whether you want to put ateez on the line too

your ship is currently docked for the night, having made a port stop at alcarres following one of the crew’s wishes to retire the pirate lifestyle and settle in the small town

their last night with ateez had been celebrated with sloshing rum and rowdy jigs, something you had found strange

there’s none of that in the royal navy

when one leaves, it is shameful and through one of three options only; old age, crippling injury, or…death

you had asked seonghwa, the quartermaster, why he and the captain were so accepting when crew members left as they wished

he had simply smiled and answered, “better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew”

his words are like a sharp stone in your shoe as you finally slip out of your hammock and make your way off the ship

as ordered, you head to the tavern addressed

you salute the person in front of you and ease into your seat with a formality only when he disregards you

“admiral jang”

“you’re late,” the royal navy officer raises an eyebrow

“sorry, sir. i had to make sure everyone was asleep”

it’s not exactly the truth, but no one needs to know that you had spent an hour in your hammock questioning your morality

he ignores your excuse, jesting as he asks of your captain, “has the pirate king found the chart’s whereabouts yet?”

the charts

centuries ago, a crew of experienced sailors had travelled the six great seas and created the original navigational charts

the charts had become scattered and lost over time, but its value only increased exponentially as more and more sailors became victims to the sea trying to map its waters to the same detail and accuracy as the original charts

of the six originals, only the whereabouts of five are known, with most of them within the possession of the royal navy

it’s rumoured that hongjoong - the pirate king - has his hands on two of them and is currently tracking down the lost chart of the aurorian sea

the only sea that has yet to be chartered after its original map due to its dangerous and unpredictable sailing conditions

you know that your next words can hold an inexplicable amount of possibilities

“not yet. the last lead didn’t get him anywhere. turned out the last of the ahn clan had passed a decade ago”

his lips flatten at the lack of worthwhile information

“where’s the captain headed to next, then?” he probes

for a split second, the thought of lying crosses your mind

you can’t provide a different location - it would be much too obvious and would raise immediate suspicions

but you could give him a different time frame

after all, it’s not uncommon for navigational routes to be one to two weeks off should the waters be unpredictable enough

you find the truth spilling out of you anyway once you’re looking into his stone-cold eyes

“vlasgar. in about three weeks’ time”

for a moment, time stands still as your heart pounds and you attempt to slow your breathing, the officer staring back at you calculatingly

then he finally hums in satisfaction

you think that he is going to dismiss you, but as you make a move to leave, he leans back in his seat

the split second of hesitation was enough

“remember where your loyalty lies, y/n”

the air feels cold with the underlying threat

seonghwa’s words flit through your mind

better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew

you swallow, “of course, admiral”

and then you’re dismissed with a nod

the unsettling feeling follows you all the way back to the ship and every miniscule creak of the floorboards underneath you seems to be amplified in the silence

you let out a short gasp of surprise when you’re about to climb back into your hammock, only to see seonghwa blinking blearily at you

“couldn’t sleep ‘gain?” he mumbles

you choke out a response, “yeah”

“i’ll make you tea b’fore you sleep ‘morrow,” his words slur with sleepiness

“okay,” you whisper

but you know it won’t make a difference

after all, there’s no remedy for guilt

it continues to fester the next day, as you linger outside the captain’s quarters

you can’t remember why you had come down to the lower deck, but it doesn’t matter now, not with seonghwa and the captain discussing what you think is related to the aurorian chart

“do you think he’s still in vlasgar?”

“min taesoo? it’s hard to say. but i’m sure he’ll have acquaintances still on the island who may have an idea of where he’s gone”

min taesoo

your brain tries to carefully file the name away, knowing that it’s what admiral jang would want to know, but at the same time, your heart tries to pretend it doesn’t know what you have heard so that you can forget about it

you find yourself scratching the name onto a scrap of paper anyway

unbeknownst to you, at the almost-imperceivable sound of your footsteps walking away, the two men behind the doors share a look

the crew sets sail again in the afternoon towards the next destination - vlasgar - and the scrap of paper in your pocket weighs you down so heavily that you feel off-kilter as you absentmindedly follow jongho up into the rigging to unfurl the sails

you’re near the top of the ropes when a sudden wave lurches the boat to starboard

it’s only a small push, really, but with your mind elsewhere, it catches you off guard and you miss your next step

the feeling of your hand dislodging from the sudden drag of your body weight brings you back to the present with a yell of surprise

(whether it’s your own or jongho’s, you can’t remember)

your sailing experience takes over and you try to swing your body back towards the safety of the rigging

you barely manage to grasp the ropes again but your hands slip down with your weight until they hit the next knot, the hot rush of friction threatening your grip

with adrenaline rushing through your body, you shakily climb back down, where there are several pairs of hands waiting to help you down the rest of the rigging

seonghwa’s hands do not leave you even after your feet are planted on the deck again

dread and shame heat the back of your neck and curl around onto your cheeks, knowing that a mistake like the one you had just made - accidental or not - would lead to a punishment like confinement in the lower deck back in the royal navy

except, when an apology starts to form on your lips, seonghwa bursts out in dismay

“y/n, your hands!”

you let out an unintelligible noise as seonghwa gently turns your palms over and you realise that the ropes have grazed some of the skin off

“it’s fine,” you want to say

but you’re silenced when he leads you to the small sick bay on the orlop deck

even if there is no surgeon on board, there is a small chest fastened to the wall that is home to their few and valuable medical supplies

you sit as he fusses over you with alcohol and strips of cloth

although he does a good job of wrapping your hands, your insides start to bleed with how intensely guilt eats away at you, like a maggot deep inside the core of a festering apple

that night as you shuffle towards your hammock to sleep, you flinch when you find seonghwa already sitting in his

he’s fighting the heaviness in his eyes as he carefully cradles something

upon seeing you, he wordlessly hands it to you with a sleepy smile before he finally sags into his own hammock with a content sigh

you look down and the warmth of it seems to burn through the padded dressing that the man before you has tenderly wrapped around your palms

the sensation travels upwards to burn your heart too

because in your hands is a cup of warm chamomile tea

and yet, despite the emptied cup, you find yourself unable to fall asleep

but in the darkness of the sky, with no witnesses other than the waves and sea foam themselves, a small piece of crumpled paper gets tossed overboard that night

the closer their ship approaches vlasgar, the more distant seonghwa notices you become

he worries

seonghwa thinks he worries for the reasons that he should be

he is the quartermaster; entrusted to protect the crew as the captain’s right-hand man

if that means ensuring no one will compromise the rest of his crew, even if it’s you, then so be it

that’s what he justifies to himself as he walks through the cobbled streets of vlasgar, slinking through the shadows as he follows your figure from a safe distance

(in reality, seonghwa worries for the reasons that he is not quite ready to admit yet)

he follows you into the dim bar of a tavern and carefully situates himself where he can watch over you without being discovered

he orders a mug of common ale as you approach someone

the man is dressed in civilian attire, but seonghwa can tell straight away from his demeanour and expression that he is not as ordinary as he appears

it’s confirmed when he hears you say, “admiral jang”

and then he sees it

the small but striking lapel pin on the breast of the man’s coat - the royal navy’s insignia

seonghwa feels for the sash that’s hidden underneath his own jacket and his fingertips meet the cool metal of the pistol tied inside

“you better have updates for me, y/n. what’s the pirate king’s purpose here in vlasgar?”

seonghwa knows he only has about five seconds to make a decision - one that could jeopardise the crew, or one that could jeopardise you

but you surprise yourself and the both of them when you answer steadfastly, “i don’t know, sir”

despite the din of drunker patrons in the tavern, it seems to fall deathly silent

“am i hearing wrong, officer?” the admiral questions with a disbelieving scoff

to your credit, your voice does not waver when you state again, “no, sir. i believe the captain and quartermaster are lying low. they have not revealed anything to me nor the rest of the crew”

seonghwa suddenly understands why you have distanced yourself

the admiral’s jaw tics

“is that so.”

you do not respond, only focusing on the spot between his raised eyebrows as he leans forward across the table

“where does your loyalty lie, y/n?”

neither the admiral nor seonghwa need to hear your answer to know the truth

a small crew may be outnumbered, but they have strength in loyalty and devotion

there’s a glint of movement from underneath the table as the admiral inches something out from his belt

seonghwa makes his decision

you flinch, eyes wide as there’s a deafening gunshot and the table beside you splinters and scatters the tankards of alcohol onto the floor

instantaneously, chaos erupts

there are drunken yells of fright and weapons clumsily brandished, tables upturned and chairs hurled across the room

it only takes one other misfired shot for the tavern to descend into hellfire as customers who were previously drinking together now turn on one another

nobody notices the two pirates dashing out, not even admiral jang, who is busy wrangling two inebriated men off his arms

your composure dissolves the moment you are dragged into an alleyway several streets away and you look up in shock to discover-

“seonghwa?! why are you here?”

“i could say the same about you,” he counters, hardly out of breath

you’re stunned by the fact that he seems completely unfazed by the mess that he has just dragged you out of

something clicks

“was that you? did you know all along?”

seonghwa smiles, “let’s just say you’re not as subtle as you think you are when you sneak around. plus, it’s uncommon for sailors to have the experience that you do without having had some sort of training”

you curse under your breath and wince, “does hongjoong know too?”

the quartermaster nods and you fear the answer to your next question

“then why has he not…why have you not…”

“killed you yet?” seonghwa chuckles. “i’m sure you’ve realised by now how skewed the royal navy’s beliefs are”

you’re quiet

the royal navy has always been cult-like in preaching the ruthlessness and barbarism of pirates, drilling into the officers the belief that pirates are the scum of the sea

but everything that you’ve known has been proven false since you’ve joined ateez; ironically, the pirates are more humane than the royal navy themself

their crew stand at attention whenever hongjoong or seonghwa walk onto the deck - not out of cultivated fear but genuine respect

when jongho is sore and tired from handling the riggings on a particularly rough and windy day, the others will offer to cover for his chores instead of flogging him into submission

and when mingi is divvying up the shares of the provisions and loot, the others will slip an extra bar of soap for seonghwa, the shiniest ring for mingi, or the largest bottle of rum for yunho, because they want to make each other happy

“hongjoong is the pirate king, yes, but a king should not take the lives of others for his own power. a true king uses his power to change the lives of others for the better…like yours…and like mine”

you frown with a jerk of your head

“what do you mean?”

you can’t see seonghwa as a broken man whatsoever

he gives you a weak smile, “i, too, used to be part of the royal navy”

your jaw drops

everything clicks into place - how he had figured out you weren’t just a common sailor and why he hadn’t confronted you about it

the shame and guilt come rushing back over you in a storm that is much too familiar by now

“i’m so sorry, all i’ve done is betray your trust-”

“but that’s what second chances are for, no?” seonghwa cuts you off, playfully flicking your forehead as he reminds you, “and i’m pretty sure you’ve chosen me over the royal navy”

your cheeks grow hot

“not you. the crew,” you mutter

he laughs and it’s a wonderful sound

“come on, it’s late,” seonghwa beckons. “let’s get some sleep”

when he sees that you’re still rooted to the spot, unsure whether you are deserving to go back, he decides for you and moves behind you to gently nudge you forward by the shoulders

you let him guide you

his hands are warm, you note, even through the linen of your shirt

his hands are also pretty, you observe, when he tries to fluff your hammock once you two have crept your way back to the berth

seonghwa helps you up into the hammock and you watch as he climbs into his

his hands are also teeming with love, you realise, when he wordlessly extends his arm nearest to you in a silent invitation

if you both reach out, you can just entwine your hands together from your respective hammocks

the burns on your palms have healed nicely and without the need for them to be wrapped, you can feel every expanse of his hand covering yours

he doesn’t retract his hand and neither do you, even though it’s not the most comfortable position and you both lose feeling of your arms soon after

but you lay in your hammock, drifting to the soft snores of the crew members around you and the soft tug of seonghwa’s fingers in yours

sleep comes easy to you

particularly tonight

as it will for the rest of your life

yunho

pov: you're the crew's navigator

you know it’s going to happen even before it actually does

you can feel it in the air and from the way the baby hairs around your hairline start to frizz

but you never say anything because you wouldn’t trade it for the moment when the first raindrop hits the back of yunho’s neck and he abandons his duty at the helm to drag you out onto the upper deck

(hongjoong only sighs in defeat before he stations himself at the helm instead)

you don’t like the rain

not like yunho does

you are already looking up from the map spread out in the captain’s quarters, a knowing smile on your face just from the sound of his bounding footsteps alerting you of his presence, when yunho appears with the beckon of rain

you pretend to let yourself be dragged to your feet along to his urges of come on!

but then you dash forward towards the hatch with yunho chasing after your bright laughter

in the short span of time that it has taken him to fetch you, the sprinkle of rain has steadily grown and the weathered planks of the deck are already a dark grey

you feel the coldness of the raindrops hitting the crown of your head and the spreading chill as your clothes start to become damp

but that’s not what makes you feel alive

yunho catches up to you easily and then he is snaking his arms around your waist to lift you up into the air

you barely have time to squeal and steady yourself on his broad shoulders before he is spinning the two of you around, the world blurring away as the spotlight shines on him and he is all that you can see

the deck is your stage and the sea is your audience

rain with yunho is twirling hugs, tiptoed kisses and tinkling laughter. it’s soaked shirts and rosy cheeks and the only thing that matters in the moment

you don’t like the rain, but it’s easy to like the rain when it’s with him

(hongjoong lets the two of you be - so obviously and hopelessly enamoured by each other - because when one sees people in love, one cannot help but watch and smile)

the rain eventually peters out and you and yunho must return to your respective duties, but not until you two have changed out of your drenched clothes and sneaked in a few more kisses

a few hours later, you hear the racket above the deck as a ship pulls up beside the arriba and ropes are thrown across from both sides to lash the vessels close together

hongjoong comes down to join you in his quarters, but he’s not alone

behind him is the captain of the silver light, dae jihoo, and his quartermaster, with seonghwa entering last

you note that this crew doesn’t have a navigator of their own

but you suppose that’s one of the reasons why their captain had implored an alliance for this particular raid

the crew of the silver light are wanting to target the prosperity triangle - an area between three large ports that is frequently trafficked by wealthy vessels transporting valuable goods

it’s a raid that would prove difficult for a smaller pirate crew like your own and the silver light, and especially if they have no navigator

but it’s not uncommon for pirates to form temporary alliances for such purposes, and together, your crews have a good chance of plundering a fortune

you nod your head in acknowledgement when hongjoong introduces you to the two pirates as ateez’s navigator

you don’t miss the way jihoo’s eyes seem to linger on you for a second too long before he flashes a crooked grin and gestures towards the navigational map spread out on the oak table

clearing your throat of discomfort, you step forward and flatten the creases out with your hands

“this is the most open spot within the triangle that the vessel we’re after will pass through,” you tap an annotated spot on the chart, “and this is where we are now”

you slide your finger across, “we’ll follow the rhumb line west to avoid the shallower waters and when we can catch the trade winds, it should be smooth sailing from there”

jihoo challenges you, “how can you be sure we’ll catch the ship within the triangle?”

“they’ll need to sail past the equator and i’m almost certain their ship will be slowed down by the doldrums. we can easily gain knots on them”

he squints at the scribbles you’ve made noting down what you’ve gathered of the wind patterns

you know for a fact that it will mean nothing to him, but whatever he sees must satisfy him because jihoo appears to make up his mind

“when do we set sail?” he directs his question to your captain

“three days from now”

he grunts a noise of affirmation and stands, which hongjoong takes as the cue to see them and the rest of their crew off your ship

you trail behind the group as you all head back to the upper deck

you prepare to emerge from the hatch with a playful wink, knowing that yunho will be craning his neck from the helm to get a glimpse of you, when a sudden holler surprises you out of your thoughts

it’s immediately met with the answering cries of several other pirates - none from your crew - and you hurry to clear the hatch to gain your bearings

you’re thrust right into the throes of battle as ateez are forced to unsheathe their cutlasses to defend against silver light’s sudden attack

having been caught off guard, basically none of your firearms are loaded with gunpowder, rendering them unusable

you will have to make do with the short sabre at your waist

there’s no time to account for the whereabouts and safety of your crew members and you just have to pray that you all make it out of this unscathed

especially yunho

but as ateez retaliate, you all notice something is off about the situation

your crew is very quickly overpowering the other pirates - it was a losing fight for them from the very beginning

it makes no sense to you nor the rest of your crew

the losses of breaking the alliance before the planned raid, much less through betrayal, far outweigh any gains they could possibly make from their choice of action

it makes absolutely no sense

until it does.

you are blocking the swing of a sabre with your own when you are tugged backwards harshly by the collar of your shirt

there’s an angry snarl in your throat as you prepare to turn around, but it’s quickly silenced by the warning shot of a pistol right beside your ear

the cold ring of metal is then pressed to the back of your head

you know that firearms require time to reload and there’s a chance that this pistol is now useless

but, like wooyoung has taught the rest of the crew to do, they may have pre-prepared several pistols and you are not willing to play with fire - especially when you are only the flex of a finger away from death

you vaguely hear someone yell out your name in panic, but you’re not quite sure you hear correctly over the clamour of cutlasses clashing, warcries resounding and your own heartbeat pounding

“stand down or your navigator dies,” the voice behind you thunders

it’s jihoo…and he wants a navigator for his crew

“ateez,” one of your men commands, “lower your weapons”

your crew may make decisions fairly, but in battle, only hongjoong has the power to make commands

yunho has never spoken against his captain or disobeyed orders

until now

the words do not come out of your captain’s mouth but yunho’s

the rest of the members hesitate - they will not stand down unless hongjoong commands them to, yet, they are unsure whether they will be able to follow should he demand them to fight on, even if it means endangering your life

but there is no guarantee jihoo will let your crew go unharmed even after you all surrender, and as the captain, hongjoong must make decisions in the best interest for the crew

“captain!” yunho yells desperately

yunho never yells

“stand down,” hongjoong commands

silver light’s captain steps in closer behind you until you can hear and feel the noise of intriguement that leaves his mouth down the back of your neck

“that your loverboy, hmm?”

he smirks

there’s a false moment of primal relief when the press of the pistol is removed from the back of your head, but it is immediately replaced with fear that is irrevocably worse as he aims it in yunho’s direction and shoots

“no!”

you shriek and pull against the tug of his hold, still fisted around your collar, your pupils blown wide with terror at the sight of the clean hole in the mast right beside yunho’s head

“it’ll be pretty boy’s head next if you don’t come with me,” jihoo coos into your ear

the fight slips out of you immediately

because if you can save him, a life for a life, then you will

even if the sight of mingi holding yunho back from lunging forward when the pistol’s barrel returns to your head makes your heart clench painfully

“y/n, don’t you dare,” yunho pleads, voice filled with anguish

you’re barely given enough time to lock eyes with him and say resolutely, “remember what you said to me,” before you are tugged away to the boarding plank

ateez can only watch helplessly as the planks are removed from over the bulwarks and the last of the ropes are untied, releasing the silver light from their ship for good

jihoo tugs you down the hatch as the ship starts to pull away, and just like that, you’re gone from their sights

“fuck!” yunho shouts furiously, unable to contain his emotions as he turns around and connects his fist with the mast

right where the musket ball had made a hole

his hand pulls away with bloodied knuckles from the splintered wood and the sheer force of his punch

a concerned whine leaves seonghwa’s mouth and he tries to approach the taller, but yunho shakes him off and looks determinedly at hongjoong

“we’re sailing to the banver isle just east of the triangle. we’ll ambush them there”

seonghwa looks between the two, hope flickering in his chest at the potential plan, “you think the silver light are stupid enough to try taking on the prosperity triangle alone?”

yunho chuckles darkly, “they were fucking shitbrained enough to take y/n, so yes”

nobody disagrees and hongjoong smirks dangerously

“ateez, ready the sails for banver isle,” he commands. “prepare for battle”

because not only have the silver light taken you away from ateez, but they have also annihilated the light from yunho’s eyes

gone are his warm brown orbs - they are now black holes thirsty for retribution

there will be lives to pay and even that will not be enough for the void

unaware of what your crew is capable of, jihoo looks down at you with a triumphant leer

“you’ll navigate us to the triangle in three days’ time. don’t even think about lying - you’ve already shown me where the location is”

with an even nod you reply, “of course”

it’s true though - you have absolutely no intention of navigating them somewhere else

because you know yunho will be waiting there for you

amidst chaste kisses exchanged between plush lips cold from the rain, yunho tells you in a brief moment of seriousness

“don’t show them where the real location is,” his breath is warm across your cheeks. “you know the coastal island roughly ten nautical miles away? show them that instead”

you tilt your head to look up at him, “you think they’ll betray us?”

“no,” he reassures you with a deeper, slower kiss, “but we can never be too safe”

and even if your vessels miss each other this time, you have complete faith that yunho will sail to the very ends of the world just to find you

two days before the originally-planned raid, the arriba sails as closely to banver isle as possible without risking running aground

yunho has navigated the ship around the back of the isle so that the form of the rocky terrain conceals them from sight

once the anchor is lowered, the crew members use every ticking moment to make preparations

swords are sharpened and firearms cleaned

mingi distributes the gunpowder and ammunition, which is pre-loaded into muskets, pistols and swivel cannons ready to be engaged

the ship’s sails and riggings are checked and yeosang keeps a keen lookout in the crow’s nest

and it’s as if the world itself can sense the brewing storm that grows inside yunho

the sea is eerily still and silent, but the sky is an omen to something impending, its rolling clouds dark and angry with the threat of rain leering over the waters

yunho doesn’t actually like the rain

he only likes it because it’s with you

rain with you is barefoot dancing, breathless confessions and bashful giggles. it’s drenched locks and fluttering eyelashes and the only thing that exists in the moment

but as the profile of the silver light finally approaches the isle two days later, the heavens split open and you are not by his side

rain without you is falling pinpricks, frigid winds and flaunting mockery and yunho despises it with his entire being

at yeosang’s call of, “vessel approaching from starboard,” up in the lookout, yunho smothers the fervid desire to barrage the other ship with cannonballs like hail from hell; to unleash an inferno that blazes through their hull as he sadistically watches the crew jump for their lives

he stamps out the hunger to shoot the ones that make it into the sea, not to kill, only to maim and induce a long, painful struggle in the open waters until death becomes inevitable - until there is enough blood spilt that it becomes the only stench in the air that stretches across for miles

yunho leashes his monsters with an iron fist

because he will not do anything that could even remotely endanger your life

even if it means that he has to hold back - to sit and wait like prey instead of advancing on the other ship like a predator

at least not yet.

silver light do not know, but this is the calm before the storm

the heavens may be crying, the winds may be howling and the waters may be roiling

but this is nothing compared to yunho

yunho is a tempest of unparalleled rage and their ship is in the eye of his storm

as the bowsprit of the silver light starts to appear around the isle, the members ready their grappling hooks and yunho draws his cutlass with a menacing whisper of unsheathing metal

you are his treasure, and pirates never lose sight of their treasure

today…you return to him

yeosang

pov: you're a tavern keeper

watching the ale reach the brim of the tankard you are holding, you’re about to step away from the barrel when the voice of a patron sounds behind you

“‘scuse me, could i get a mint-”

you look up and turn around in confusion as their voice cuts off

only to have the question taken right from the tip of your own tongue as you’re met with the face of the person you had loved for years

the same person you have spent twice as long trying to forget

eyes searching each other’s in a surprised stupor, seeing kang yeosang standing right in front of you takes you back to those memories that you have tried to remember and simultaneously bury

it thrusts you headfirst into what used to be of your shared love - like the feathery remnants of a dream, so distant from the fingers of your consciousness, suddenly returning to vivid existence when you least expect it

“hey, mint leaf. i’m back”

yeosang at least has the perceptiveness to appear a little apologetic, immediately pulling you into a hug and pressing soft kisses against your hairline uncaring of the other people in the tavern

it’s been several weeks since you last saw him, and whilst he had warned you he would be gone for longer this time, you hadn’t expected it to mean two whole months

he’s a small merchant who also fishes along the coast to earn enough to make ends meets, so he’s often gone for a few days or a week or two

you knew what you were in for when you first made it official with him, but just because you become accustomed to something, doesn’t mean it gets any easier

and he’s never been gone for this long

something must have happened - something good - because he looks alive, cheeks glowing and eyes fiery

“i met the crew”

“the crew?” you ask, hands reaching for the bourbon to prepare him a drink as he lets himself behind the counter to stand beside you in your workspace

he nods excitedly, "wooyoung’s pirate crew, ateez"

you think you know where this is going to go and you hate that your stomach sinks at the thought of what your future may become, because yeosang looks so happy to tell you about this and a happy yeosang is all that you could ask for

“the captain offered me a position as their lookout”

you pick out your next words carefully as you hand him his finished drink - a mint julep with two sugar cubes, just the way he likes it

"aren't…isn't being a pirate dangerous?"

“not as dangerous as you might think, actually. they’ve been showing me the ropes the last couple of weeks and…and i think i want to join them. officially”

there it is

the forked end of the road

you wonder how far two people can keep walking with their hands intertwined before the distance becomes too great and they have to let go

his words become a little muddled when he goes on to tell you about how they divvied up their recent loot to include his share too

how he’s gained more money than he’s made from the last two years of working as a merchant and fisherman combined

if he joins his old friend and his crew, he could earn enough to buy his parents a proper house; earn enough to build you your very own tavern

you want to tell him that you don’t need the tavern, just him, but you also know just how important his family is to him

his filial desire to take care of his parents was one of the very reasons you fell in love with him in the first place

before you can say anything though, the tavern keeper is interrupting to let you know that your shift is over

yeosang immediately perks up and herds you out of the place, claiming that there is a new fishing spot he discovered that he has to show you

and so you sit while he rows his modest boat, only the splash of his oars disturbing the peaceful stillness that has settled over the waters as the sun dips below the horizon

the waning light casts a soft, warm glow over him, like a gentle kiss against his skin and birthmark

if angels graced the earth, there would be one sitting right in front of you

“i missed you, mint leaf,” he confesses, gaze shyly averted. “i thought about you when i was gone”

“did you think about showing me this place?” you feel a little breathless

he nods, “every single night”

and that’s enough for you

it feels like everything is okay again

it doesn’t matter if you’re standing at a forked road

you think that perhaps, for him, you can walk on an unpaved path - just so that you can keep holding his hand

“y/n”

yeosang’s voice is deep

the word sounds foreign to your own ears but you don’t dwell on it

(because if you do, you’ll wonder whether it’s because you’ve forgotten the sound of his voice or because you want to hear him calling you something else)

“what would you like to order?” you ask

(because it’s easier to pretend that he’s just another patron than to admit that he used to be all that you ever knew)

yeosang fumbles a little but then regains himself, “oh, um- just a mint julep, please”

you turn your back to him to prepare his drink, hands reaching for the barrels lined along the bottom shelves without needing to look

you’ve made this drink too many times to count

half of those times were in the safety of the darkness that midnight offered; when the tears could flow freely without anyone seeing

it’s only when you start to mix his cocktail that yeosang realises he didn’t ask for his sugar cubes, but he figures the drink will taste bitter tonight either way so he opts to watch you instead

he wishes that he could walk past the counter like he used to and wrap his arms around you

he wishes that he could whisper endearments into your ears and press them against your lips

he wishes that he could show you that he still loves you

“do you still love me?” your voice wavers with hurt as you stand in front of him

he’s finally back after being gone for four months this time and you hate this conversation as much as he does, but it was bound to happen eventually

yeosang pleads, “more than anything”

“then why does it hurt so much? loving you…and being loved by you”

he doesn’t have an answer

but god be damned if he doesn’t try to find a way to fix things

“tell me, mint leaf, what can i do?”

you blink back your tears furiously, having already made up your mind while he was still at sea

“let’s break up”

because in the end, unpaved paths have too many rocks, too many thorns and too many arched roots; they were never meant to be walked along

you pass yeosang his finished drink without another word and then move further down the counter to serve a different customer

his eyes linger on you wistfully before he tears them away from you

it’s a good thing his hair has grown long enough to cover his face when he looks down

because his eyes start to grow wet at the sight of the mint julep you have made him

with two sugar cubes in it, just the way he likes it

perhaps, once you’ve loved somebody, you never really stop loving them

yeosang shows up again the next day and seats himself at the bar

you don’t serve him though, actively avoiding his end of the counter and letting another of your staff tend to him

he orders his usual but he leaves out his request for additional sugar cubes

it feels wrong for him to order it from someone that isn’t you

but you’re watching out of the corner of your eye as the worker mixes the bourbon, sugar and water, topping it with a few mint leaves and then sliding it across the counter for him

you let out a little sigh, half amused, when he takes a small sip and smacks his lips together at the bitterness

you take two sugar cubes and drop it unceremoniously into his pewter cup before you realise what you’re doing

yeosang immediately seizes the opportunity to talk to you

“my crew’s docked for the fortnight…” he waits to see if you’ll respond. you don’t, but you also don’t move away, so he continues. “we’re making some repairs to the hull and sails before our next raid”

you have half a mind to walk away after you reply, “i didn’t ask”

he forges on regardless

“we’re going to work with another crew for this one. it’s going to increase our chances of a successful raid because-”

your voice comes out a little harsher than you mean for it to when you hiss again, “i didn’t ask”

yeosang’s mouth closes as he pulls away slightly, back straightening

then he says in a softer voice, “i’ve been doing well. wooyoung still takes care of me, even though i’m not new to the crew anymore. i also saw my parents today and they’re happily retired now…”

you don’t stop him from talking this time

because how many sleepless nights have you spent sitting outside your tavern looking up at the stars; how many times have you served a mint julep to a patron and accidentally added sugar cubes; how many moments have you been consumed by the thought of him, simply wondering if he is living well?

this is everything that you have ever wanted - yeosang in the flesh letting you know that, yes, he has been well

but it is also everything that you have ever feared - that he has been well even without you

you don’t know what to feel

“my parents asked about you,” he says gingerly. “how have you been?”

his voice is barely audible, as if he is afraid of what you might say

or perhaps, afraid that you might not say anything at all

“good. excellent,” you force a small smile, your eyes still focused on the mint leaves floating in his drink. you don’t think you can look at him. “i own this place now”

his body loses its tension, cheeks rounding as he looks at you with genuine relief

“that’s…that’s really good to hear”

his words sting

you are unsure if it stings your ego or if it picks at the wound in the shape of the person you have lost

but it hurts to know that he has worried over you in the exact same way you have over him, the whole time you two have been apart

you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the realisation and hot tears well in your eyes almost immediately

your bottom lip starts to crumple so you rush into the back room to escape

“y/n!” yeosang calls out after you, alarmed

when you don’t stop, disappearing into the storage, he jolts up from his seat and follows

your body shudders with every heaving breath you take, unable to stop yourself from crying even harder when you feel him tug you into his chest

you try to pull away but his sturdy arms tighten around you

yeosang refuses to let you go once more

“i hate you,” you sob, struggling against his hold as you hit his chest weakly

he hushes comforts against the crown of your head, soothing noises as he endures your fists

“you have every reason to”

yeosang holds back tears of his own

he feels your body gradually losing its fight, sinking into his embrace instead, hands desperately holding him close

your voice is so impossibly small when you tearfully confess, “but i still love you”

“oh, mint leaf,” he brushes the stray locks of hair away from your face and cradles your jaw tenderly, “i still love you, too”

he presses a soft kiss against your forehead, pulling away once only to reaffirm, “so, so much”

when he kisses you again, his lips taste salty against your own, but nothing has ever tasted sweeter than this

your breath no longer stutters but the tears continue to run down your face because your heart finally feels right after all these years apart

and yet-

you pull away

“we can’t do this”

yeosang feels his heart shattering

“why not? i don’t understand,” he whimpers

“you know why,” you say distressingly, “my life is here, yeosang. i can’t just leave and return whenever i want. but you, on the other hand? you can. you go where your crew goes - you belong with them”

“but my heart belongs to you. please, y/n,” he begs

his arms are still wrapped around you and you feel his desperation as his fingers cling onto you like a lifeline

you look earnestly into his bloodshot eyes, your own vision blurry, “yeo, you’re not the one who gets left behind here. you’re not the one who waits weeks, months, years on end, just hoping that the next person to walk in is the person that you want to see”

he wants to plead that he waits to see you, too, but he knows that he’s the one who leaves, too

“you’re the right one for me - the only one for me - but it’s not the right time,” you tell him gently

slowly, his arms lower themselves from around you

“it wasn’t the right time then and it isn’t the right time now,” he repeats, “then when is the right time for us?”

you shoot the question right back at him, “when is the right time for someone whose life is to sail the world?”

neither of you know the answer

nobody does, because loving a pirate has no certainties

but yeosang doesn’t give up

“if we can’t ever be sure, why don’t we just make it the right time ourselves?”

you caress his cheek sweetly, and despite having stepped away from you earlier, he leans into your hand, starved of your loving touch and affection

“yeosang…what if we’ve already had it? what if…meeting each other was already it? what if we’re just meant to love from a distance, not side by side?” your voice is poignant but resolute

he brings up a hand to cover yours, still warm and tender against his wet cheek

how is it that he can be touching you yet simultaneously feel worlds apart from you

“okay,” he accepts with a whisper

if loving you silently is the only way he gets to love you, then he will choose it in a heartbeat over losing you entirely

he thumbs away the remainder of your tears

“can i kiss you? one last time?” he asks

you nod

“one last time”

your lips slowly meet, slotting together as they find their home in each other’s dips and curves

his hands cradle the small of your back and neck and your own hands rest against his chest

the kiss you share is steady, longing and bittersweet

it conveys everything that you want to say to each other, and even then, it is hardly enough

thank you

i’m sorry

i love you

goodbye…

you can feel your eyes burning up again, but you focus on the feeling of yeosang’s lips against yours instead

because you know that the moment one of you pulls away, that is it forever

in the world of love, there are people who are ill-fated

they meet the right person, but at the wrong time

and then there are people like you and yeosang

not ill-fated, but star-crossed lovers

the right person…

but just not meant to be

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