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shadesslut · 7 months

Text

a father’s malice, pt. 2

Pairing: (Ex-Gf!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader)

Content Includes: (Slight angst, fluff)

Summary: Ethan persuades Y/N to let him bond with Ollie.

part 1 part 2

(a/n: I didn't proof read sowwy)

✮

Two days. It had been two days since Ethan had shown back up into their lives. The only times Y/N would see him was when she left and returned to her apartment. He was always in the lobby, on the same bench, doing the same thing. Every time she saw him, he was passed out, but that was probably for the best.

Chad wasn’t doing so well. He had isolated himself in his room for the most part, barely coming out. He swore to Y/N that he was fine and not to worry about him, but she could hear him softly cry every night. He had lost his best friend too, and she kept forgetting that. Ollie helped them out; him being the light of their lives. They had to stick it out, for Ollie.

The rest of the group wasn’t fond of the idea of Chad and Y/N continuing to stay at their apartment, but Y/N convinced them by arranging a plan. Every other night, Sam and Danny would sleep at theirs. Tonight was the first night of this plan.

Danny was taking out the sofa-bed, and Sam sat at the kitchen table with Y/N.

“So, did you…see him?” Y/N quietly asked, bouncing Ollie on her knee. Sam sighed, giving her a solemn smile. She nodded, which led to Y/N looking away.

“Does he sleep there all the time?” She asked.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah,”

Chad was looking over to the two girls whilst they talked quietly. He reached over for the fridge handle and opened it, grabbing a beer. “Can you grab me one?” Danny asked, appearing next to Chad. Chad smiled, grabbing another bottle before handing it to him. “You wanna go outside?”

“Uh…” Chad trailed off, turning his head back to the girls. “Sure.”

Chad didn’t really bond that much with Danny after last year as much as the girls did. He was so used to being the only guy the girls needed, and it felt hard to let Danny in. The two sat outside on the porch, sipping on their beers, staring out at the soft glow of the city lights.

“How are you?” Danny broke the silence, turning his head towards Chad. Chad sighed and only shrugged in response, still staring off into the city. Danny looked back through the open porch doors. Sam and Y/N’s laughs echoed throughout the apartment, causing Danny to smile.

“I’m gonna ask Sam to marry me.”

Chad choked on his drink, spitting out the beer. He doubled over and wiped his mouth. Danny lightly chuckled nervously at him. “Oh! Really?” Chad spewed out.

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you.” Danny admitted.

“‘Ask me’?” Chad reiterated with confusion.

“I mean, her dad is, you know, and I know how much you care for her. So, I thought I should ask you.” Danny smiled. Chad only muttered a little, You can do whatever you want, and Danny only nodded, slightly disappointed. He hung his head low, staring into the opening of his beer bottle as he swung the liquid around.

Chad sighed, and he reached over the pat Danny on the back. “I think you should, she really loves you.” He reassured, making Danny smile again while he thanked him. “About before,” Chad trailed off.

“Yeah?” Danny asked softly, trying desperately to let Chad know he could talk to him.

“I’m…not okay. It’s hard.” He huffed. Danny nodded supportingly.

“It just feels weird. Feels like he’s my kid, you know? And already it’s a weird situation, but now his fucking serial killer of a father is back, and I have no idea what I’m feeling.”

“I get it,” Danny comforted.

“And he was my best friend. I told him everything. I actually thought,” he sighed. “I thought he cared about me.”

Danny sighed, understanding Chad’s dilemma. Chad rubbed the back of his neck, and he looked back to Y/N and Ollie. All of his worry washed away. Ollie was giggling in Sam’s lap, reaching out for the bottle Sam was holding, and Y/N was smiling happily at him. Chad softly smiled and looked back at Danny.

“I think I’ll be okay,”

Back in the kitchen, Ollie blissfully sucked on his bottle. “Ah shit,” Y/N cursed, looking at her phone.

“What?” Sam asked, still holding Ollie.

Y/N groaned as she rubbed her temple. “I forgot to drop off our rent money today.”

“Here, I’ll go drop it off,” Sam offered, but Y/N protested.

“No, it’s okay. Ollie gets fussy when you move him when he eats. I’ll be right back,”

Drop the money in the dropbox and immediately go back was her plan. She had hoped Ethan wasn’t there, but her breaths became shallow when she saw the curly head of hair peacefully sleeping on the bench. Her breath hitched, and she quietly walked to the dropbox. Flapping the slot closed, she jumped when she turned around, running into Ethan’s chest.

“S-Sorry-” He stuttered, immediately backing up. He held his hands up in defense, and his shoulders were slouched.

She only nodded before walking off. He called her name, and she shakily stopped as she turned.

“Can we talk?” He asked in a small voice.

She sighed, knowing this was coming. “Sure,”

He softly smiled and stepped closer to her.

“From a distance,” she stated. He nodded and rubbed his palms against his jeans. He still wore the same outfit as before, and his musk was starting to become foul. “When was the last time you showered?”

“I don’t have anywhere to go, Y/N. No home, no money.” Her mouth opened in an ‘o’. She never thought about that aspect; all of Ethan’s family was dead, so he really didn’t have anyone to go to. She almost felt bad for him, but then she thought of all the pain he and his family caused. “C-Can I please, please, stay with you for a few nights? I-I can sleep on the floor, you can lock me in the bathroom or something-”

“Ethan,” She sighed, interrupting him.

“Please, Y/N? I swear to god, I won’t do anything.”

She huffed, looking Ethan up and down. A part of her wanted to let him, let him back into her life, into Ollie’s life. She missed him, she wanted Ethan to be with her. She knew Ethan would be a good father to Ollie. But that was the old Ethan. She knew nothing about this Ethan that stood in front of her.

–

The door shut quietly as the two stepped in. Danny and Chad had retired to the living room, watching the TV and listening to the quiet noises of whatever game they watched. They both smiled towards the door at the sound of it closing, but bewildered expressions took over once they saw Ethan. Danny spit out his drink, and Chad immediately stood up.

“Y/N?” Chad asked rhetorically through gritted teeth.

“Chad, it’s fine, I’m letting him stay.”

Sam now appeared in the living room, still holding Ollie. She looked between Ethan and Y/N with a confused and hurt look. “You’re letting him stay?”

Y/N looked at her with worry. “Sam, please understand,”

“After everything he did to us. After what he did to Anika?”

Y/N winced as she looked away. She didn’t say anything, Sam was right, and Y/N knew it. Sam only scoffed, and then glared at Ethan. She handed Ollie to Chad, which made Ethan’s blood boil. Sam urged Danny to leave with her, which he obeyed.

“Sam-“ Y/N said once more, just as Sam slammed the door shut.

Ethan’s eyes roamed over to Ollie, trying his hardest to ignore Chad’s gaze. “I’m sorry,” Ethan said, breaking the silence.

“What?” Chad asked.

“For, uh, stabbing you.”

Chad exhaled deeply through his flared nostrils, and Ethan shifted awkwardly on his feet. “Okay, um, Ethan you can sleep on the couch.” Y/N started before Chad could say anything.

She took Ollie out of Chad’s arms, and he yawned, resting his head on her shoulder. Ethan’s heart swooned, and he softly smiled at him.

“I’m sleeping with you.” Chad told Y/N, still staring at Ethan.

“Okay…can you grab the spare pillow and blankets?” Y/N asked him softly. He nodded and walked off.

“Can I hold him?” Ethan asked, smiling at Ollie.

“Oh, uhm. I don't know if I’m comfortable with that yet.” She admitted, adjusting Ollie on her hip.

Ethan nodded, tilting his head to get a better look at him. He felt as if he was looking at a younger version of himself; an innocent version of himself. He would do anything to make sure Ollie didn’t end up like him.

“That’s okay.”

Chad returned with a blanket and a lumpy pillow in his hands. He threw it on the couch as he stood next to Y/N, slightly covering Ollie. “Okay, you have your stuff. Goodnight.”

After Ethan got situated, Chad helped Y/N put Ollie down.

“You got something you wanna tell me?” Chad whispered, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “So what, you just randomly decided to let him stay? What, have you two talked recently?”

“What? Chad you can’t be serious,”

He only sighed, rubbing his temple. He laid down, lifting his knee up.

“Today was the first time I talked to him since,”

He didn’t believe her, but he dropped the subject. He only whispered a soft goodnight before drifting off to sleep, facing his back to her. She sighed, getting up and sneaking into the living room.

Ethan was still awake, and he sat up upon hearing Y/N’s footsteps.

“H-Hey,”

She ignored him, and she sat down on the floor in front of the couch.

“I’m really sorry for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you.” Ethan apologized sincerely.

She looked up at him. Her eyes watered as she reminisced. “But you did, you hurt all of us.” He looked away sadly. Now it was his turn for eyes to water.

“None of what happened between us was fake, I did love you. I still do,” Ethan said softly.

She only sniffed in response, turning her face away as he reached out to touch her cheek.

“He looks like me.” Ethan stated, dryly chuckling. Y/N nodded as she smiled sadly. “I wanna be in your life, and in his, what’s his name again?”

“Oliver, and I don’t know Eth. I have to think about it,” she answered. Ethan nodded, not saying anything else. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, both quietly crying.

“I don’t want him to end up like me.” Ethan’s voice cracked as he admitted his fear.

“He’s not,”

Ethan cut her off. “Please don’t let him end up like me. He can’t. I don’t want him to be scared of me either. I wouldn’t hurt him, never.”

“I know, Ethan,” she comforted him, grabbing his forearm.

“The way you looked at me, I would break if he ever looked at me that way you did.”

He rested his head on her hand, holding her wrist as his tears stained her sleeve. Her heart broke at the sight of him. She almost forgot about the unspeakable things he had committed. She didn’t look at him like he was Ghostface, but like he was Ethan. Her Ethan. She hated herself for wanting Ethan in Ollie’s life, to toss Chad out like he hadn’t been there since the beginning.

“You can go with us tomorrow, I have to get some stuff for him.” She offered.

He nodded, wiping his tears. “Thank you,”

He continued to hold onto her arm, breathing heavily as he calmed himself down. She didn’t know how she was going to deal with Chad about the next day, but she expected nothing but resentment from him. Hell, resentment from the whole group. She already had felt it from Sam. But, she was secretly happy. Happy that Ethan told her he loved her, even if it was in his own sick and twisted version of love. She was happy, for the first time in a year. She just needed to protect Ollie; how hard would that be?

—

It was a very awkward walk to the store. Y/N pushed Ollie in his little stroller, Chad walking next to her, and Ethan on her other side. Ethan wanted to carry the baby bag, but Chad insisted he carry it. Ethan secretly hated how Chad acted like a father figure to Ollie. He was his after all.

Chad opened the door for her, and then Ethan. Y/N softly muttered something as she looked at the small piece of paper in her hands. Chad stood next to her, looking over her shoulder.

“What all do you need?” Ethan asked her.

Chad glanced up at him in silence. Ethan had hoped Chad’s states would fade as time went on. “Uhm, we need to get those puffs he likes. Also he needs a new sweater, cause someone stretched out his old one,” she pointed her eyes at Chad.

“How was I supposed to know you can’t put it in the dryer?”

She shook her head, smiling. “How about Chad and I get the puffs while you get the sweater?” Ethan suggested. The other two looked at him blankly.

“That’s fine with…me,” Y/N trailed off, looking towards Chad. He scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Fine.” He said before leading Ethan down an aisle.

Chad’s eyes wandered over the shelves while Ethan played with the zipper on his jacket. Truth be told, even though Ethan resented Chad for his role in Ollie’s life, he missed him. He was his only friend after all. He missed their late nights when they talked about girls and played video games.

“Chad?” Ethan asked softly.

Chad only grunted in response, reaching for a can on the shelf. “I know what I did, unforgivable, but I really am sorry. Deep down I didn’t want to do it,”

“Then why’d you do it?” Chad asked in a monotone voice.

“I wanted to make my father proud, I guess. I did care about you guys.” Ethan admitted.

Chad finally looked at him, for the first time without anger, only hurt. “You were my best friend,”

“I know,” Ethan swallowed.

“I told you everything about me. I cried with you,”

“I know,”

Chad ran his hand on the side of his face, trying desperately not to cry. “You were my best friend too.” Ethan said.

Chad laughed dryly. He didn’t feel like the man he was now, he felt small like the boy he was when he first got stabbed. It hurt, literally and mentally, when he found out Ethan had stabbed him, but right now hurt more.

“I don’t know what I have to do to earn your trust again, but I’m gonna do it. I miss you,” Ethan’s voice slightly cracked as he placed his hand on Chad’s shoulder. Chad didn’t trust him still, but he nodded as a tear rolled down his cheek. A part of him believed him though, believed that the nerdy boy he befriended was still in there.

“I miss you too,” Chad responded sadly.

The sounds of Ollie’s giggles made both boys’ heads turn.

“You find it?” Y/N asked, pushing the stroller with one hand, holding Ollie in the other. Ethan rushed to take a hold of the stroller.

Chad paid at the counter, and Y/N looked over at Ethan. His hands fiddled with the handle of the stroller, and Y/N softly smiled. “You wanna hold him?” She asked softly. Ethan jerked his head towards her.

“Are you sure?” He asked, carefully.

She nodded, and she lifted Ollie to pass him to Ethan’s hands. Ethan gently held him, resting him on his right hip. He wrapped an arm around Ollie’s back, and his other hand was steady on his side. Ollie looked confused, pursing his bottom lip as he furrowed his brows at Ethan.

Ethan smiled and let out a choked laugh. “Chad, look,” Ethan said, proudly showing Chad. Chad only fake-smiled, and returned his attention to the cashier. Ollie continued to judge Ethan. He let out a high-pitched “Mph!” before reaching out for Chad.

“It’s okay,” Y/N comforted Ethan by placing a hand on his shoulder as Chad took Ollie into his arms. “He just has to get used to you.”

Ethan nodded sadly, watching as Ollie’s demeanor changed with Chad. Chad carried him all the way home, with Ethan skulking behind him. He watched Ollie as he slept peacefully on Y/N’s chest. She was sprawled out on the couch, and Ethan had just gotten out of a shower. His head leaned against the cushion as he admired both of their features.

“Y/N,” He spoke softly, as to avoid waking up Ollie. She hummed in response, slightly turning her head towards Ethan. “Anything you want, I’m gonna give it to you.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Yes I do. I have to give you everything, Chad too. I owe it to you guys.” Ethan cut her off. She didn’t respond. She moved a few curls out of Ollie’s face. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too.”

He scoffed. “I think Chad hates my guts.”

She sighed, readjusting Ollie onto her lower stomach. “He doesn’t hate you. He hates what you did, yeah, but I know he misses you. You were his closest friend since,” She trailed off, not wanting to mention Wes.

“Yeah, I know.” Ethan stated. “But the others,”

“Oh, they hate your guts.” She said, slightly laughing nervously. He nodded, giving her a faux smile. He reached over for her hand, and she let him. They both smiled at each other, and a part of Y/N felt guilty for forgiving him so fast. She didn’t fret about it for too long. Ethan hesitantly grabbed Ollie’s small hand, letting Ollie sleepily squeeze his fingers around two of Ethan’s fingers.

“See,” Y/N whispered, watching. “He just has to warm up to you.”

Ethan smiled, still looking at Ollie. His mouth was open, and drool was pooling on her shirt from her mouth. Still, he looked perfect. No, Ollie would never end up like Ethan, and Ethan knew that now. “By the way he loves sharks,” Y/N added.

He laughed, and kissed Ollie on the top of his forehead. “Noted.”

(Taglist: @onlyreadz, @lloyd907, @hearts4meeks, @emitaylorsverson, @depressedseaweed, @athenalive, @b3bybunny, @aliciacat20, @whoaitsbibi, @fallinforhappiness, @dabbin22, @leyla-1905,)

#scream #scream 6 #scream vi #ethan landry #jack champion #ethan landry x reader #ghostface x reader #ethan kirsch #chad meeks martin #sam carpenter #ethan landry fluff #ethan landry imagine

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starstruckmoony · 8 months

Note

Hello! May I request a muggle AU with Theodore, with this meet-cute prompt: "they're on opposite sides of a wedding party to the bride and groom" (prompt is from @/thewritersafterglow on Instagram). Thank you! I know this request is in good hands :)

aaaaaa thank you anon! <3 this is the first request i've got in a while (again tysm it made me very very happy <3<3) and i had lots of fun writing it so i hope it meets your expectations!

can't help falling in love.

masterlist , requests

pairing - theodore nott x reader

trope/tags - muggle!au, strangers to lovers-ish, fluff (side note - this isn't particularly realistic because i don't really know how weddings work in different parts of the world, so i kind of just went by how they function in my country and some bits and pieces i've managed to pick up from movies and such. i know it probably won't be accurate for everybody but i tried my best LMAO)

word count - 3k

warnings - language, drinking, smoking, cheesy at the end

when you recieved an envelope in your mail one fine morning in late may, you never would have expected it to be an invitation to your primary school classmate's wedding in the english countryside. you could still recall the wonderful memory of choking on your coffee and scaring the life out of your poor cat when you saw her name plastered in big letters in the center of the paper, right below a picture of her and her fiancé. it was a miracle how she remembered you existed. to be frank, you were kind of honoured, and you made sure to confirm your arrival almost immediately. hell yeah, you were coming. free food and alcohol? who in the right mind would pass on that?

so about three months later, sometime in mid-august, you found yourself inside of a crowded venue, sweating buckets in your silky green dress, without a fan, or anybody to keep you company. a few of your old classmates were there too, but not a single one of them bothered to offer you a greeting. what a bunch of arseholes.

you stood leaned against the wall in the very back where there were fewer people, attempting to cool yourself down by fanning the air around you with your hands as you waited for the godforsaken ceremony to finally start. to nobody's surprise, the bride was a little late, and the groom's family was in a mild state of disarray. it was kind of funny, but not as funny as it would have been if you weren't feeling so bloody hot. do they not have air conditioning in here? how do people get married in these conditions? and why does the best man look more terrified than the groom?

the loud sound of somebody's shoes scraping against the tiles right next to you shook you right out of your train of thought, and you placed your hand against your chest in horror, "jesus christ." you muttered under your breath, the unfamiliar man attempting to catch his breath scared the life out of you.

he glanced at you for a split second, appearing rather exhausted (aftermath of sleeping through five alarms and having to run to the venue because his friends were too lazy to wait for him), "sorry." he offered you an apology breathlessly, leaning back against the wall to steady himself. you thought that you were being overdramatic when it came to the heat and the current atmosphere of the wedding, but this man seemed to have surpassed you. he was rather handsome though, despite being drenched in sweat from what you assumed was running, also paired with the humid air inside. his eyes were strangely captivating, and he looked a little too good in that suit of his for it to be considereded legal. were you staring? you were probably staring. you trailed your eyes away, pretending to be entertained by the groom's father who was attempting to explain the situation to the guests. you cursed inwardly, realising that you'd be stuck in there for a long time.

you turned to the pretty guy again, deciding that you should, perhaps, talk to him, "you don't look like you wanna be here." fantastic start. those probably weren't the words he wished to hear in those circumstances, but your observations didn't seem to annoy him at all. he actually chuckled instead, "am i that transparent?"

"quite." you responded a little too nonchalantly than intended, taking a quick glance at the door in hopes that you'll see the bride come in. nope. you returned to your original position. how wonderful that was, more waiting.

"do you have any water in there?" the man spoke again, pointing at the purse you had tucked under your arm.

you took it in your hands and peeked inside, knowing that you most likely wouldn't have what he was asking for, "no," you shook your head, but continued rummaging through it, "i have this, though." you pulled out a tiny bottle of liquor and shrugged before shoving it into his face.

he didn't hesitate to grab it, he would have taken anything that was liquid enough. he drank it all, not that there was much, before handing the bottle back to you with a scowl. he coughed a little as the alcohol burned his throat, and you couldn't help but snort.

"i don't know how smart that was." it wasn't, really, since it would only dehydrate him more, but it worked for the time being. he coughed again, falling back against the wall, finally able to breathe somewhat normally.

"you'll find out in a few hours," you didn't miss the smile that painted his features, and it encouraged you to carry on, "how do you know the bride... or the groom?" you questioned, wanting to keep the conversation going to kill at least some of the remaining time you had. you were bored out of your mind.

"the groom," he nodded briefly, "we went to college together, funny bloke, he invited me and my two other friends who are... somewhere in here," he stretched his neck as his eyes scanned the crowd for a short moment, "eh, whatever." he shrugged, and then reached into his pocket, but quickly retrieved his hand. it was still empty. you had assumed he reached for a cigarette before he was able to remember where he was.

"you won't go looking for them?" you queried, finding his neutrality over the whole situation slightly bemusing. it wasn't every day that a hot guy like him ditched his friends for you, and it was rather pleasant to think about. he was hoping he wasn't being so obvious about it, but you read him a little too easily.

"what, bored of me already?" he questioned, a hint of playfulness in his tone.

"i might be, now that you said that." you scowled in pretend disgust, drawing a breathless laugh from him. you shortly sunk into a not overly uncomfortable silence, both internally debating with yourselves about whether you should keep it going or not. you were kind of drawn to each other, after all. the consequence of attending a wedding without a date must have had an influence on it, you told yourself. he mustered a similar, lame explanation.

"i'm theodore, by the way." he decided to break the ice after a while, and you almost sighed in relief, "y/n." you shook his hand politely.

"nice wedding." he added, his face scrunching at the sight before him. the sarcasm in his tone was obvious.

"delightful, isn't it?" you offered the older lady that passed by you a forced smile, and then eyed her giant pink hat judgementally. you and theodore resembled a mean high school couple who had an opinion on absolutely anyone and everything, just standing there, laughing amongst yourselves and making fun of all the other guests and their stupid pastel outfits. it made sense why your classmates hadn't approached you, but you didn't let them occupy your mind any longer. you found yourself a like-minded companion for the night, one that was ten times funnier, and the prime example of eye-candy.

"imagine she never shows up." theodore said after you shamelessly fed one another with some interesting past gossip about the bride and the groom. judging by what he had told you, those two were a match made in heaven. and you could say that with your whole chest.

"god, don't plant that idea into my head. i spent my last three paychecks on this bloody dress." you snorted, dusting it off when you noticed that it had got a bit dirty.

"it looks perfect on you, though." theodore's little compliment took you off guard, and he must have noticed judging by the way he grinned.

"thanks." you felt yourself blush a little at his comment, and just as you were about to open your mouth to speak again, the bride's mother burst through the door, announcing that her daughter would be there shortly. you exchanged a relieved glance with theodore, fucking finally.

despite the long wait, the ceremony played out quite beautifully. the couple exchanged their vows, humourous and tear-jerking all at once. people laughed, people cried, somebody's baby did both. the best man hadn't forgotten to bring the rings, and the maid of honour looked happier for the bride than the bride. nobody backed out last moment, and nobody objected after the infamous "speak now or forever hold your peace". you left the venue with a smile on your face, pleasantly surprised.

theodore and his friends offered to give you a ride to an even larger venue where the reception was being held after you told them that you had arrived with a cab, and you happily accepted their offer. the two idiots he came with were just as unserious as he was, and you had soon found out that they all attended the wedding with the same intentions as you. eat food, get drunk (and then sleep in the car because mattheo wants to get wasted but doesn't want to run them off the road and kill somebody in the process).

the reception, thankfully, moved a lot faster than the ceremony. by some sheer dumb luck, you had been instructed to sit at the same table as theodore, lorenzo and mattheo. your shitty classmates were there too, so you assumed that the table was designed specifically for that - old friends from school that the newly weds didn't talk to very much, but still liked them enough to invite them.

so, after the grand entrance, loud clapping and cheering, a cute speech from the bride, more clapping and cheering, the best dinner you had had in a while, a few more emotional speeches, and even more clapping and cheering (hollering this time, too), the dj finally showed up. it was the part of the night you had been the most excited for. the first dance was absolutely beautiful and even brought a few tears to your eyes, but god, the moment you heard an onset of lower-than-nightclub-quality music blast from the speakers, your hopes had all gone down the drain.

the dance floor filled up in a matter of seconds, and you had never been more appreciative of the existence of wine. not a single song that was played in the span of fourty-five minutes was your cup of tea. and as different people's requests kept incoming, it only got worse.

theodore seemed to be having the same problem. mattheo too, considering he had about five shots in less than half an hour. lorenzo wasn't doing much better either. he was entertaining himself by making paper planes out of tissue paper and leaving them on the table like a strange art project.

"this music is terrible." theodore's voice was completely drowned out by the godawful sounds coming from the speakers, you couldn't hear a thing he was saying.

"what?!" you shifted a bit closer to him, covering one of your ears with your palm to subdue at least some of the noise.

"i said that this music was terrible!" he tried not to shout, but it would have been impossible for you to comprehend whatever he had said if he hadn't done so. yes, it was fucking awful. many people would disagree, considering how many of them were still on the dance floor, either fully wasted already or slowly getting there. at least the newly weds were having a good time, both slightly tipsy too.

"tell me about it!" you yelled back, rolling your eyes. you considered asking him to accompany you outside, for a smoke or something, though you didn't really need an excuse. anywhere would have been better than in there. but you chickened out before you were able to speak, continuing to sip on your wine in silence. silence, that was funny, mostly because of how unbearably bloody loud the music was.

lorenzo suddenly stood up, and he yelled something into mattheo's ear. the other stared at him in confusion, and then burst out laughing into his face. he turned to you instead, and you saw his lips move, but didn't understand a thing he was saying.

"huh?!" you and theo yelled out in unison, and lorenzo waved his hands dismissively at you, defeated. he pushed his way through the crowd on the dance floor and shuffled over to the dj. he threw an arm around the man, probably trying to make some friendly conversation. they seemed to be getting along.

perfect. you reached for the wine bottle, refilling your glass and taking large gulp. you were hoping that lorenzo had enough charm to sway the dj into playing something else. it took about twenty minutes of insignficant chit-chat for the man to finally nod and give him a thumbs up, and that's then the beginning of dancing queen blessed your tortured ears.

you gasped in shock, immediately getting up onto your feet and latching onto theodore's arm. he didn't really protest when you tugged at his sleeve and pulled him to the dance floor which got even more crowded than it was before. mattheo managed to fall out of his chair, but he followed the two of you and joined you in the mass of people.

"thank me later!" lorenzo yelled your way before a pretty girl grabbed his attention. the night got so much better from then on. the dj appeared to have whipped up a large playlist of abba's work, since the songs were playing one after another, each one bringing your mood up. you had completely blocked out anything that had happened before you heard the tune of the first song, and you had only returned to the table with theodore to refill your glasses before running back to the dance floor.

you couldn't recall the last time you had that much fun, singing your heart out, jumping up and down, showing off some ridiculous moves, letting theodore hold your hand and spin you around. the dj stuck to the same genre for a while, playing old pop songs, keeping everybody on their feet. some of them you didn't know, but you weren't about to sit back down after doing so for almost two hours, so you danced to them too nevertheless.

that is, until your legs started hurting a little too much for it to be tolerable and your throat had got a bit sore from belting several songs with the bride. your head was spinning too, courtesy of having so much wine. theodore took the opportunity to ask you to accompany him outside (because he really needed a cigarette) after some slow tune neither of you were familiar with had been put on.

you nodded your head took a hold of his hand as he led you out the door. you clumsily made your way down the stairs, laughing as you did so. the effects of alcohol were beginning to show themselves.

as fun as it was, getting out of there for a short while was a need. you slumped down onto one of the stone benches placed outside the venue, sighing comfortably as the chilly breeze of the night cooled you down.

you immersed yourself into another casual discussion, not a very significant one, as neither of you could even stand properly for too long without stumbling, but it was nice breather from the wild atmosphere inside. you liked talking to theodore, and even with your clouded thoughts, you knew you'd want to see him again after this. there wasn't a doubt in your mind.

"i thought i'd have to leave early." theodore laughed to himself as he took the last drag from his cigarette, and then tossed the burnt out stub onto the concrete.

"and make me stay here all alone?" you teased, although you probably would have left too if it wasn't for lorenzo and his skillful flirtation tactics or whatever the hell that was.

"who said i wouldn't bring you along?" his response made heat rush to your cheeks, and you put your head down with a breathless chuckle. you were quiet for a moment, trying to recollect your thoughts.

"you know, this might sound a little weird, but," you chewed on the inside of your cheek, not really able to think straight. you were tipsy, after all, "i'm glad i met you today," you tilted your head to the side, drunkenly observing him, "you're nicer than i anticipated." as backhanded as it sounded, that was the best you could do.

it was theodore's turn to blush after you said the words, and it didn't manage to go past you, despite him trying his hardest to hide it.

"yeah, i mean no– it's not weird, i'm uh," he trailed off, contemplating whatever it was that he wanted to say next. honestly speaking, he didn't know how to put it into words, "i'm glad we met too, you're–"

one thing that theodore hated was tripping over his words and not being able to be blunt with somebody he took a liking to, which is why he was so, very grateful to hear elvis' can't help falling in love coming from the inside of the venue.

you looked up at him when you realised which song it was, waiting to see if he'll ask you to dance. and he did, but he didn't lead you back in through the door like you thought he might. you stayed outside in the light wind, slowly swaying to the music, his hands on your waist and your arms around his neck.

you liked it better that way, just the two of you in your own little world with nobody else to disrupt you. you let your head rest on his shoulder, and his grip on your waist tightened just a little bit, like he was making sure you won't leave him. you smiled to yourself, god, that was the last thing you were planning on doing.

#theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott scenarios #theodore nott smut #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott headcanons #theodore nott fanfiction #mattheo riddle #lorenzo berkshire #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction

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tange-my-rine · 1 month

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saying something stupid (like I love you) || Tangerine × gn!reader

Summary: With Lemon's guidance, you take the initiative and confess to Tangerine. He kept saying he felt the same, and wouldn't shut up until you did it. So, in a moment of weakness, you told him. You kind of knew what to expect: either reciprocation or rejection. Easy. But when Tangerine instead physically runs away from you, you have to admit you weren't expecting that.

TW: angsty (with a happy ending), crying, cursing (it's Tangerine), and avoidance (Tangerine is really bad at feelings, what can I say).

[[A/N: yes this is based off that one song. It's so GOODDD. And also something Tangerine would totally do. Peep the Little Women reference. Enjoy :)]]

"C'mon," Lemon urged, "-'s not 'at hard, mate."

You rolled your eyes, absent-mindedly chewing the inside of your cheek, "You say that as if you've ever been in a relationship. Ever."

You had known the twins since middle school (probably), both raised with shitty parents and even shittier lives. When you saw them for the first time swindling a boy out of his money in a go-fish game, you essentially blackmailed them.

('If I don't get a share, I'm telling the teacher.')

You actually even knew their names, and them yours, but you preferred the codenames -you were the one to come up with them afterall.

Tangerine almost popped a blood vessel when you met that day, but Lemon smiled big and bright and pulled a five out of his brother’s hand. You and Lemon were fast friends after that; Tangerine took a lot more time.

That being said, when you were finally friends -near high school, he started to... fill out his form. Naturally, being close to someone who is handsome, you find yourself in... certain states of mind. And what started as a little crush your senior year, snowballed to now.

Where you were in love with him.

You probably told Lemon after a few years of it not going away. But, you'd find that every day after you'd regret that decision.

"Sally Jones," Lemon offered up, seemingly in defense of himself.

You scoffed, "The girl you dated for a month?"

He nodded his head.

"You didn't even like her," you clarified, "-you liked that she had cable so you could watch your fucking trains."

"So?"

"So-" you said a little loudly, turning to the bedroom where Tangerine slept and drastically lowering your voice at the distinct absence of shuffling, "-Lemon. We have been best friends since we were kids, that's... That's a lot to mess up because I'm... because I have feelings."

"What so-" Lemon starts, "What if he gets married one day? What are goin' to do? Just... Just fuckin' bury it down?"

"First off, he's too much of a dick to get married, secondly-" you paused, letting out a big sigh -something in your chest twisting, "-yeah. I mean, it's what I've done for all of these years, isn't it?"

He frowned for a minute, hand finding its place on your shoulder, "You ever think ya deserve to get it off your chest? 'At maybe you deserve the happiness it'll give ya?"

"Might give me," you corrected.

"Look, I know my brother," Lemon argued, brown eyes layered onto yours, "-and I know he's been fuckin' crazy about you since you stole that fuckin' five dollars on the playground."

"I didn't steal it," you clarified, a little defensively "-we made a deal. We negotiated-"

"Y/N," he refocused, "-I just wanna see the two of ya happy, yeah?"

"I know," you spoke, softer, "-I know, Lemon."

Before another word could be spoken and it really seemed like Lemon wanted to, Tangerine stepped into the living room -hair still sleep-mussed, and clothes far more casual than what he'd wear normally. Not that it was new to you, but it still made your heart flutter a little.

"You 'avin' a fuckin' pow wow without me?"

"Morning, sunshine," you smiled with a sing-songy tone.

"Fuck you," Tangerine muttered (a tiny little smile quirked onto his lips), before slinking off into the kitchen -most likely in search of coffee.

When you stayed seated, eyes flickering over whatever reality TV show was on -Lemon nearly burned a whole in your side.

'What?!' you mouthed, exasperated.

He was wordless, brown eyes darting from you to the kitchen -a few times in a row actually.

'Now?' you mouthed back.

'The sooner the fuckin' better,' Lemon mouthed back, shoving you further down the couch.

Well, you debated to yourself, it would get him off your back, and that would be nice.

But, you didn't feel so scared then -not like all the years prior. It was like something... something had shifted in you and you just wanted it done.

Shit, you thought, maybe it is time.

You took a deep breath in and with raised hands (in mock surrender), stood up.

'Fine.'

Lemon seemed taken aback a moment, shock, like he'd never actually expected you to cave; to be fair, you were a little surprised too. But... you were tired, and if heartbreak was to come of it -you wanted to get it over with now.

'But if he doesn't...' you mouthed, '-you owe me everything in your wallet.'

He neatly nodded in agreement.

You swallowed, squeezing your hands together and with the timidness of a doe, entered the kitchen.

The kitchen in the apartment was small, but modern-looking. It was all sleek metal and plain colored cabinets, looked like something out of a magazine. That being said, Tangerine fit right in.

Your eyes unwillingly went to his hair, the unkempt curls, and you briefly wondered if they felt soft.

"Hey, Tan?" you echoed out -trying to keep your voice level and calm.

He held up a finger -as if to say 'one moment', before fidgeting with his coffee. He took it basically black so it didn't take him too long to do so. Just a dash of both sugar and milk, he spun around to look at you.

You supposed you hadn't thought about the idea that he had to be looking at you while you said it. His eyes were always so... bright and distracting -you could hardly handle it when he looked at you so intensely on a regular day. How could you do that today? Right now?

You cleared your throat, wringing your hands together, "I, um, I need to tell you something."

Tangerine pursed his lips, looking you over -leaning slightly on the counter with his cup in his hand. His eyes dashed over yours with a curious sort of question there -scanning over you like he was trying to figure out just what it was.

"Ya alright, love?"

You blinked, trying to clear your head, and opening your mouth to respond. In what way, you weren't sure but any at all sounded good-

"Get fuckin' on with it, mate," Lemon yelled out from the living room -apparently hearing everything in here he could.

Tangerine was just looking at you -blue eyes just looking.

Something in you snapped.

"Jesus Christ, fine, Lemon," you hissed in frustration -words coming out before you could stop them, "-Tangerine, I'm in love with you."

Tangerine froze.

You weren't even sure he was breathing.

"Tangerine," you stepped forward, concerned, "-are you okay?"

Before you could so much as touch him though, he, without a word, beelined out of the kitchen. So fast you were left reeling in his dust, blinking a little deliriously.

You instantly spun around your heels and rushed to the living room -just in time to see Tangerine swipe the keys (the car keys) off of the little table near the door and promptly leave the apartment.

The sound of the door slamming shut echoed into your mind -like a pin dropping into silence.

Something swirling up into your chest, you swallowed -something heavy on your tongue and even heavier on your heart. You blankly stared at the door, like if you wished hard enough he'd come back and tell you he loved you. That all of it had just been a gut reaction.

After a few minutes, that did not happen.

"Lemon...?" You croaked out, eyes suddenly blurry and heart pounding in your chest -had you really just ruined it all?

"Lemon-" you let out a breath and it somehow turned into a sob. It felt like your chest had been cracked open and your heart crushed to dust.

God, you'd lost him. You fucking lost your best friend because you decided to be stupid and fall in love with him-

You don't know when you fell to the floor, crying, but you do remember Lemon rushing over to you -brown eyes guilty and somewhat confused.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He kept repeating it, over and over, but all you could see in your head was Tangerine frozen and all you could feel was a loss. You were grieving him, there was no way anything could go back to normal-

You'd have to get separate jobs, live on your own-

"I'm not leavin' you," Lemon said suddenly, and you realized you must've been muttering, "-My brother can shove 'at idea up his arse."

Without another breath, you pushed yourself into his arms -wrapped around him into a hug.

"Liked you much better anyway," he muttered, and there was a laugh that burst through your chest.

You and Lemon ended up staying at that apartment for about three more days, waiting to see if Tangerine would return. All of his clothes were here, and you weren't entirely sure he even had his wallet in his pajamas -but he didn't show back up.

Not that he hadn't been in contact, Lemon had been both answering and not answering phone calls from him almost by the hour. He always ran to another room to answer them though, and you respected the privacy -it's not like you wanted to hear from Tangerine anyway.

Even though he was your friend and you were worried, you knew it best not to talk to him.

"You're a fuckin' idiot, mate," Lemon hissed out -bitter and disapproving, "-none of it makes any fuckin' sense, I swear you were-"

There was silence for a minute, you assumed Tangerine interrupted him.

"Are you really fuckin' serious with me right now?" Came back with a much harsher sentiment and the tone of it chilled you to the bone -Lemon was mad.

Which you'd really only seen once or twice, in grade school, either when someone picked on you and you cried (both boys reacted similarly to that) or when someone, unprompted, hurt Tangerine.

You were suddenly flashed back to your senior prom when a guy had asked you but it had all turned out to be some joke. 'He's fuckin' stupid not to like you, love,' rang through your head -familiar blue eyes and arm wrapped solidly around you pulled you into his side, '-doesn't deserve you anyway.'

There was a bitter taste in your mouth.

Lemon pulled you out of your thoughts, "What were 'ey supposed to think, mate? That you were so joyous you couldn't stay fuckin' still?!"

You rubbed your hands up and down your arms, mindlessly packing your bag. The next piece made you stutter to a stop. Hands lingering on a long-sleeved button-up, one you'd borrowed from Tangerine and he'd never asked for back, your heart sunk to the bottom of your chest.

No more crying, you thought.

With not a word, you took the fabric in your hands, leaving your room, and shoving it into Tangerine's bag.

You did stay in the room for a moment, breathing in the... Tangerine of it all.

And then, you left.

"No, no, mate," Lemon laughed, incredulously, "-I'm not doin' shit for you. You come 'ere and do damage control yourself."

You pulled your bag up on your shoulder, it was just a little duffle -you didn't carry much job to job, and trailed into the living room.

Lemon immediately straightened, cutting off Tangerine, "I've got to go, brother. I think you know 'at to do."

With the precise press of a finger, he hung up.

Letting out a big sigh, Lemon turned to you, "Let me get 'is stuff, and then we'll leave, yeah?"

And you did.

You're not sure what the last call was about, but after that one, he started calling you too.

Lemon had decided to cool off on the jobs, just visiting a few cities out of want -kind of treating it like a tourist. It was weird, but not unwelcome. One of those nights, it started.

You were eating on the couch, some sort of reality TV show distracting you with Lemon -when your phone vibrated on the coffee table. You unhesitatingly went to pick it up, eyes smoothing across the name-

'Tan 🍊'.

Staring at it for a moment in disbelief, you quickly declined and set your phone back on the coffee table.

He didn't call you again until late that night when Lemon was asleep in his room; you weren't asleep, to be fair, just staring up at the ceiling.

The name flickered across your screen, and with a little hesitation, you answered.

"What the hell do you want, Tan?"

He was silent for a minute, slow to respond -speaking a little in disbelief, "Hey, love."

"Tangerine, don't-" you started, something breaking in your voice -you cleared your throat, "-That's not fair."

"Love-"

"You're being mean," you echoed out, tone a little broken and weepy -it was all you could say.

He was silent for a long while then, almost exhausted, "I'm sorry."

"It feels like," and you could feel the tears bubbling up, "-it feels like when that stupid guy ditched me at prom," your voice got much quieter -a little pathetic but you didn’t care, "-but you're not here, Tan."

'I want you here,' went unsaid.

"I'm sorry," he repeated -but this time a little more dim.

"Don't you think I deserve to hear that in person?" You offered -swallowed back a sob, you were crying by now, just silent tears down your cheeks, "Don't you have any respect for me-"

"I never meant to-"

"Save it," you interrupted -tired and exhausted, "-I need to sleep."

Before he could say another word, you hung up.

And if you cried yourself to sleep that night, that was between you and the apartment walls.

He didn't stop after that night, calling you more than Lemon -he still answered. You didn't. You had nothing to say to him, until he decided to apologize, in person. Or even just come back at all. He couldn't run forever. No matter how much he didn't want to reject you, you needed to hear it.

Couldn't he understand that?

Because every day he didn't, there was a traitorous little part of you that held onto the hope that maybe he had just been overwhelmed. Maybe he just wasn't ready.

And that hurt more than anything else. That he wouldn't come to tell you otherwise, when you already knew it.

There were a few times he'd call you, and Lemon would call him back: 'Just leave 'em alone, mate.' And then, he'd disappear off into a room -ready to talk about whatever they did.

And then, about a month after the start of it all, you heard a knock on the door.

It was a normal day, where you and Lemon ate takeout and watched whatever show was on -which was often shitty. He didn't talk about Tangerine, so the conversations were more lighthearted -made you feel better.

But when you heard the door, you froze.

Lemon seemed to be looking for your reaction, brown eyes darting all over your face. And for a moment, you were relieved that he was okay but then your face settled into something strained.

You told him you loved him and he ran away. You didn't think it could get much worse than rejection, but it did.

Lemon took the look as a sign to gently rub your shoulder, comforting, before standing up and heading to the door.

Deciding to focus on the TV and eat, you did so. You only flinched when he swung open the door, and in quiet whispers, you heard his voice again. It felt like your whole world was crumbling, you thought you were ready for this -the rejection. But you still loved him so much-

You blinked away tears, determined not to let him see you cry. You wouldn't accept pity, not from him.

You knew his footfall, knew exactly where he stopped behind the couch and you even felt his hand come to clutch it right by your head. You ignored him.

"Y/N," he started and his voice seemed a little wrecked.

Not knowing entirely why (or maybe knowing exactly), you turned to meet him.

Tangerine was disheveled, hair messy like he'd been running his hand through it for days -which you knew he did when he was nervous, and his new suit messy. He did look a little like he'd been in a bar fight, and won. You also knew he did that when he needed some stress relief.

Was that why he was here? For refuge?

"I-"

You abruptly stood up, food falling from your lap, and somehow safely onto the couch, "I'm too tired for this."

Tangerine looked at you for a moment, and you thought it was a little desperate but you smushed the idea without hesitation.

This time, you were the one to run away from him.

You found immediate solace in your room, slinking against the door and breathing so quickly -your eyes fogged up. Needing something to do, you decided to unpack your bag.

Unwillingly, you heard a mutter of voices, and even Lemon's footfall as he disappeared into his room. Tangerine took a bit longer, but when you heard the door shut, you let out a long sigh of relief. Not tonight.

Before you could finish with your clothes though, you heard his steps again -slow and hesitant. You thought for a second that maybe he was leaving again, and something in your stomach twisted.

Instead, though, all you hear was them booming closer. You stilled.

You had the off thought to run over and lock it, but it was too late then. The door opened slowly like he wasn't sure if you were asleep. And you chastised yourself for not thinking of that.

When he opened it all the way, his eyes landed squarely on you. You waited for him to say something, anything, so you could shut him down and go to bed.

Instead, he simply extended his hand forward.

Your eyes darted to it, his hand clutching a shirt -the shirt you had shoved back into his bag. How did he even know it was different?

"Take it," he spoke, voice quiet.

"Tangerine," you countered, swallowing back the heaviness in your voice, "-that's yours."

"'S not," he explained, "-I fuckin' gave it to you."

"You let me borrow it," you clarified, tone wavering slightly, "-I'm just returning it."

"You didn't fuckin' borrow it-"

"Tangerine."

"Take the fuckin' shirt, love," he reiterated, "'s not mine anymore."

"Tangerine," you sighed out, "-can you not? It's late, and I'm tired-"

"It's your shirt," he interrupted, something in his eyes but you couldn't quite label it, "-take it, and I'll fuckin' leave you alone, yeah?"

"I'm not-" you exhaled, closing your eyes for a moment -trying to bat away the tears, the frustration, "-Tangerine, I don't want it."

"Well, I want you to fuckin' have it."

"Do you think about what I want?" you echoed, "-Ever?"

Tangerine opened his mouth, but you were on a roll now.

"I..." you laughed incredulously, looking up to stop your tears (you blinked them away), "-Tangerine, it's been a month."

He tried again, but you didn't let him.

"You. You left," you sniffled slightly, clearing your throat -prolonging the inevitable, "-Tangerine, I... I told you that I loved you and you ran away."

"Love," he started, small and barely there.

"Stop-" you swallowed, "-Don't call me that, it's not... it's not fair."

"How is it not fair?"

"You don't-" you groaned, swiping at your eyes -you were crying now, and out of the corner of your eye you saw his hand twitch (like he wanted to comfort you).

He stood in silence waiting, patient.

"Tangerine, why didn't you just tell me then?" You asked the question that bounced around your mind ever since he left.

"Fuckin' tell you what, love?"

You flinched, ever-so-slightly, at the name again -something twisting in your stomach, and squeezed your eyes shut. Breathing a big breath in through your nose, you started.

"That you don't love me," you clarified, and now your voice was shaking and your eyes were blurry, "You could've-"

Tangerine seemed to be processing something, a flicker in his eyes.

"You could've made it so much easier if you'd just-" you frustratingly wiped your eyes again, "-said that. But instead, you ran away, and all I could think about was what I had done wrong for you to-"

"You didn't do anythin' wrong."

"Then why didn't you just tell me the truth?" You practically begged, "-Why don't you tell me now? So I don't have to... So, I know."

"That's not..."

"Tangerine," he looked at you -and you but back a sob, "-I deserve the truth. Just say it. I know you're scared you'll hurt me, but I... I've survived worse."

"What makes ya think it'll hurt you?" He offered, and your heart in your chest started beating loudly -ringing in your ears.

"Because you ran away," you repeat, wiping at your eyes again, "-I think that makes the answer pretty clear."

"Y/N-"

"Just fucking reject me!" you exclaimed, not loud enough to bother neighbors but enough to bounce around the room (Lemon probably woke up to it), "-It's not that hard, Tan, you've practically done it before."

He seemed to flinch at that, grimace even, at the mention of what he'd done. You were glad he felt some kind of guilt. Still, he remained quiet.

"For the love of god, Tangerine-" you echoed out, shaky now and your heart on the floor -vulnerable, "-just say it. It's not that hard."

"I fuckin' can't," he finally answered -something bubbling up in his tone; his hands clenched by his sides -shirt still clutched between his fingers.

"Can't," you questioned, voice shaky and tears building in your eyes, "-or won't?"

"Can't," he reiterated.

"This is ridiculous, Tangerine," you whimpered -swallowing back a sob, "-you can't give me fucking peace?"

"Y/N-"

"Give me a reason," you interrupted, brash, "-give me the reason you can't reject me right here right now."

"It's not 'at fuckin' simple, love," he remarked, low in tone, but you could tell he was getting frustrated.

"Nothing ever is!" you reasoned, "-Just tell me, that's all I want."

"It's not..."

"Tangerine, please."

He swallowed, eyes dipping to yours -scanning over you with your no doubt red eyes and shaky hands. Like he was thinking, deciding on what to say. All you could see was reluctance.

He let out a big long sigh, fidgeting with his hands (and the shirt in the mix).

"Tangerine-"

"'S not how I feel."

You furrowed your brows, "What?"

"I can't..." he trailed off, eyes off you and flickering toward the ground, "-I can't reject you because it's not what I feel, love."

Your breathing halted in your chest. Heart twisting into something so complex, sad and angry and hopeful.

There's no way, he- Why the hell did he run away?

"That's not funny, Tangerine."

"It's not a fuckin' joke," he responded, eyes finally back on yours -and you tried to read them all you could.

"Stop, no," you echoed out, shaking your head, "-don't pity me, just tell me the truth-"

"I am," he reiterated.

"No you're not," you laughed incredulously, "-it makes no sense."

He pursed his lips, exhaling through his nose, "I was scared."

"That's not-" you started, before clearing your throat, "Do you not think I was scared? That I wasn't putting everything on the line to say that? I thought I was going to lose you and then I did-"

"You didn't lose me," he spoke, softer, "-you could never lose me, love."

"I did, Tan," you sniffled, "-I lost you."

"No-"

"Tangerine," you echoed, "-you left. And I thought, I thought that my best friend was gone. I thought that because I had stupid feelings I lost you. You ran away, Tan!"

"They aren't stupid," he responded and it seemed that he was deciding on whether to step closer -you took a preemptive step back.

"At least," you sighed out, voice cracking, "-at least you knew the truth, I... I didn't know shit. You could have never come back-"

"I did," he interrupted, "-I did come back, love. And I know I'm fuckin' stupid, Lemon has been drillin' it in my head for weeks. I regret walkin' out of 'at fuckin' room so much."

His eyes were shiny with tears now, as he stepped forward into your room -hands reaching forward like he'd wanted to touch you, but he stopped.

"How the hell am I supposed to believe you? What if you just-" you sniffled, "-run away again?"

"I won't," he spoke -unwavering, "-I swear on whatever fuckin' god is up there, 'at I won't do it again."

"I don't-" you whispered out, clutched at your arms.

"I never meant to hurt you, love," he echoed out, stepping closer, "-I fuckin' hate myself for doin' it. I will never fuckin' do it again."

"Tangerine, this isn't-"

"I'm fuckin' madly in love with you," he finished, laughing a little -slowly placing his hands on your arms. You didn't move away, and he seemed to smile at that, "-'ave been since we were kids, and you pulled 'at greedy shit on me."

"It wasn't greedy," you defended.

"Most certainly fuckin' was," he tsked back, moving one hand to your face -thumb wiping back and forth.

Your heart fluttered in your chest, but there was still something heavy in your stomach. Tossing like waves.

"I'm sorry," he said, finally, "-I got fuckin' scared and ran away. It wasn't fair to you, and-" his hand brushed against your cheek, "-I'd beat myself bloody senseless if I could."

You laughed at that for a moment, and his smile got a little wider.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" you asked, something clawing up your throat again.

He frowned, allowing his hand to fall to his side -sighing, "I'm a fuckin' coward, love."

You opened your mouth to say something, anything.

"You confessed to me and it was so fuckin' brave," he looked at you like you were the sun then, bright and warm, "-and I... I couldn't spit out a fuckin' word. I just went into autopilot and..."

"Ran away," you finished, swallowing.

"Yeah," he spoke, confirming, "-ran away."

Before you could hold your tongue, words slipped out, "That is pretty cowardly."

Tangerine laughed, a big one, and something in you warmed -a smile perking onto your lips.

"It is," he agreed, "-I'll give you fuckin' 'at."

And then he paused, eye flitting over you -seeming to detail all your features in his head. Tracing over your nose, your eyes, your eyebrows, your lips-

"Are we okay, love?"

It was soft and hopeful, and something in you softened -your hurt letting up just a smidge. It wasn't gone, not yet.

"Yeah, we're good," you hummed out, taking a hand and pushing a strand of hair behind his ear, "-but you have a lot to fix."

"I know," he hummed back, blue eyes soft and affectionate, "-I'll do it. Whatever you fuckin' want."

"Well," you smiled, so close to his face -merely a breath away, "-I think I've got my first idea."

"Do you?" He offered with a smirk, hands coming to hold the sides of your face.

"Yeah," you brought your hands up on top of his, "-kiss me, please."

Tangerine didn't hesitate after that, pulling you closer with the grasp of his hands -still somehow gentle. His mustache tickled your upper lip, and you laughed a little -a grin spreading along his own lips in response. And after, it was slow, languid, each press of the lips just a touch more desperate -like you were his oxygen. Fingers pressed into your skin, your head went a little fuzzy -fingers twisting around his palms.

Speaking of oxygen, you parted.

Before you could so much as say a word though, Tangerine pressed a small one to your lips -simple. You laughed a little.

And then again, and again, and again, and again-

"Tangerine-" you laughed out, "-I can't breathe."

"Fuckin' fine," he muttered, before taking a deep breath of his own.

And then the thought crossed your mind that he would leave eventually -go back to his room. Sleep. But, you had lost so much time. You didn't want him to leave yet.

"Tan?"

"Yeah, love?" He gave you all his attention, eyes focused on you.

You pursed your lips for a moment, "Will you sleep in here with me?"

Tangerine opened his mouth.

"I don't want you to leave yet," you clarified, hand loosely twisting around one of his own -held limply between the two of you.

"I don't want to leave either," he breathed out, "-ever, preferably."

You smiled, "Is that a yes then?"

"Oh," he laughed, "-love, 'at's much more than a yes."

#tangerine bullet train #bullet train #tangerine x reader #tangerine x y/n #tangerine x you #tan's things #tangerine #tangerine bt oneshot #gn!reader

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loviingpedri · 6 months

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my declaration of love - jobe bellingham.

prompt: two lovers in high school.

warnings: cursing, angst (fluff at end), grammar issues

jobe was your best friend, there was no denying it. everyone knew that you two were in love, but the idea was always denied in fear. both of your parents were ready for y’all to get married. laughing the awkwardness off, you thought jobe didn’t feel the same. he always gave you mixed feelings. he could be all over your shoulder, then talk to many other girls right after.

you wanted him for the longest. it was burden on your parents seeing you cry over him every time a new girl came into the picture. it even hurt his parents recognizing the pattern of when you came over and when you didn’t. your friendship was too good to be ruined by jobe’s playboy activities.

yet, that was half of jobe’s intentions. he loved you so much, it became unhealthy for him. he had regret for every other girl he even laid eyes on because it just wasn’t you. he was afraid you would never love him back. it pained him seeing your eyes turn sadder when hearing about the new girl he was talking to. truth be told, he tried to get over you through them. no girl would ever hold up to his standard. his standard being you, of course.

the feelings were mutual, but none of you could face it in fear of being rejected.

“jobe, did you do your math homework?”

“sorry, what?” annual study session at the bellingham house, nothing new.

“the math homework, did you do it?” your head was just as confused as his. you wondered what he was thinking of.

“yeah, i did.” taking out his papers. “did you know there’s a party later? we should go.”

“i heard about it. i was debating on asking if you were going. can’t leave without my partner in crime.” you nervously laughed at the cheesy nickname. distracting yourself by copying his answers before seeing his slight smile.

“i mean let’s go. last year, gotta make the most of it.”

“thankfully, i live next door. or else i would not be able to get ready.”

breathing in your dust

this wasn’t your first rodeo, but this was a new memory of a party.

this memory, you weren’t exactly fond on it. jobe stayed with you for the first 15 minutes. he was definitely needed to try and get use to the people. but after those 15 minutes of introduction, he excused himself to the bathroom. then after, said he was going to get drinks. he never came back. you were lucky enough to find some of your friends there. it became suspicious how he just disappeared.

the house was so crowded. you started to get overwhelmed. finally reaching an empty space, you saw a familiar face.

“chris? rigg? i didn’t expect you to be here.”

“oh hey y/n. i’m surprised jobe isn’t with you.” it was true, he was like your personal body guard in public. yet, he decided to leave you alone in a place where you knew almost nobody. “do you want a drink? i poured another cup if anyone else was thirsty. no alcohol, of course.”

“oh yeah, thanks. i was actually looking for jobe. do you know where he is?”

“i think i saw him walk into the kitchen when i left.” giving chris a quick nod and smile, you tried to find the way to the kitchen. leaving the room was two boys who were wearing sunderland jerseys laughing with an o-shaped mouth. with specific intention to make eye contact with you.

walking into the room in curiosity, you had instant regret. there jobe was. making out with another girl. someone who looked the exact opposite of you actually. your best friend goes missing for an entire hour that he invited you to, and is now making out with someone he just met.

jobe use to only tell you who the girls he was talking to and how they were like. it still made you feel pain. this time was different. he was physically causing you to hurt. it hurt like being stabbed in the stomach. he demonstrated how he felt without you. he felt connected to other girls in way you wanted him to feel for you.

he didn’t realize you were there either. fighting your tears back. accidentally, the cup given to you fell to the ground. the red juice flowing everywhere. the noise made jobe notice you. everything seemed to be going in slow motion. from him looking at you in shock. seeing your emotions flash in confusion. how you walked away into the groups of people. he tried to catch up to you. panic was running through his head. he felt lightheaded. he started sweating.

his intention was to lose feelings for you. he didn’t think about how he could’ve lost you entirely in his life. running to where the car was, it was gone since you had the car keys. he could worry about finding a ride home later. the only thing that mattered to him was getting the love of his life back before it was too late.

once again, your mother’s heart broke into pieces as your makeup was ruined. mascara always running down your cheeks for the one and only, jobe bellingham.

this time, it was much more emotional. you didn’t wanna hide your feelings anymore. it was taking over your health and made it worse day by day.

being in your comfortable pajamas and finally laying down after your hard time was comforting. hearing your mom talk to denise about what happened. hearing a few words about jobe. everything hurt. it felt like a stab straight through your heart.

finally learning your lesson. just because you gave someone effort, doesn’t always mean they have to return it back to you.

you reflected on everything you did for jobe. you did anything just for him to like you back. was it all for nothing? it was hard to think. your eyes were dry and sore from crying. the only thing that stopped the pain was closing your eyes and bringing peace to yourself.

waking up by hugs and kisses from your parents was the only thing you ever needed. you adored your parents. it just felt empty without jobe having something planned for the day. it was rare that you even ate breakfast with them.

“i talked to denise yesterday,” it was bound that the topic of him would be brought up. your mom trying to ease you up before trying to get you to talk about it. “jobe isn’t doing well. i mean, your health also isn’t okay either. but, y/n maybe you should try and hear him out.”

“i don’t think i can. i was way too obvious on how i felt about him. he just pushed me aside.”

“relationships are definitely different in this generation. are you ever gonna talk to him?” your father being protective over you and boys, yet jobe was welcomed with open arms.

“this just happened yesterday. i’m still trying to process my feelings.”

“well denise said-“ the doorbell rang. the whole family looking at each other in confusion. you weren’t expecting anybody, nor any packages. opening the door, you saw your first love with a bouquet of flowers and very sore eyes.

“y/n. good morning. sorry if i caught you at the wrong time. i just came here to talk to you.”

“about what?” you didn’t want to come off as rude, but it was definitely wrong timing as you’re in red pajama pants and a winnie the pooh t-shirt.

“i want to apologize for what happened yesterday. i know i dragged you to the party, then i completely left you with people you did not know. it was selfish of me to do that. and to add on, you saw me doing something i should’ve never did. it gave you a bad idea of me. i finally want to admit that i have feelings for you. i was scared that you would never feel the same. i tried constantly to get over you. nobody will ever match up to our friendship, our relationship. i never realized that it hurt me more to lose you completely then just having a little inconvenience in our friendship. y/n, you are the only i want. i just wanna be yours.”

no words need to be said. your eyes spoke for him. instantly connecting your bodies in a hug, his body warmth will always be your serenity.

“jobe, i will always be yours.”

#football x reader #football fanfic #football imagine #spotify #jobe bellingham #jobe bellingham x reader #jobe bellingham x yn #jobe bellingham fanfic #jobe bellingham imagine #jobe bellingham x you #jude bellingham

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bedsyandco · 3 months

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that time Violet had a bad date in high school

-> taglist: @cixrosie

she went straight to Luke’s place after she got home, smiling at his mom in thanks as she said he was up in his room

“Vi, What you doing here? I thought you had your date tonight?” Luke asks as she gets on the bed next to him.

“He stood me up,” Violet says, her tone conveying how upset she was. This guy spent 3 weeks convincing her to date him and then he doesn’t show up?

“That’s a dick move,” Luke mumbles, moving so he’s laying on his side and facing her.

“yeah,” she agrees, grabbing his hand and playing with the bracelet on his wrist

“You look really beautiful,” Luke says, noting how she put on a little more than her usual mascara for this guy and he bites his cheek a little at the thought that she thought this guy was worthy of that and then he treated her like this.

“Thanks,” she whispers

“I know I don’t need to tell you, but you deserve so much better than that,” Luke says, gently wiping the tear that formed.

“I know. It’s just…the thought that he asked me, no begged me for three weeks to go out with him and then he doesn’t show up? After I put in all this effort, and I’m not even that into him. I just said yes so he would stop asking,” Violet rants and Luke throws his arm over her waist, pulling her closer to him so they’re snuggled together, legs tangled. Luke’s not sure his parents would approve of the position they’re in right now but, it’s not like it means anything, they’re best friends, and she needs to be comforted right now.

“I hate boys,” she mumbles

“hey!” luke scolds gently and she smiles a bit

“you don’t count, you’re my best friend,” she says and luke’s smile falters a bit. best friend. right.

“I’ll hate boys with you then. They don’t deserve you,” Luke says, pressing a kiss to her head.

“If we’re both still 30 and single, will you marry me? I don’t wanna be alone forever” Violet asks and Luke shakes his head at how ridiculous that is.

She has no idea how many guys at school wanna be with her, how many of his brother’s friends, how many of their own friends. How much he wants to be with her.

“If by the off chance you’re still single by 30, I’d be the luckiest guy ever to get to marry you,” Luke agrees, and she smiles, kissing his chest before cuddling into him again.

Thirty minutes later when Ellen goes to grab them for dinner, they’re fast asleep.

#⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ violet + luke ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

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alanisinstone · 1 year

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so i've had a channing tatum obsession since step up and a magic mike one since the first and i just thought this little shit up so. uh yeah. read at ur own risk mfers

18+ content

so male stripper bakugou who works at the best club there is in Tokyo really, has the hottest guys, the skimpiest outfits, the best liquor, its clean and sexy in there, and the music isnt corny (think the weekend and shit😛). so you come in there because ur girl wanted to do a girls night (she’s crazy) and you didnt really want to go but your therapist has been telling you that you should get out more.

so you go and you feel kinda out place and uncomfy a little because (for the sake of my fantasy) you’re not rlly the party type. ur not like bible thumper but ur just reserved. in general you like reading and picnics and flower arrangements and sunsets. so this isn’t rlly ur scene yk. but the tip of the iceberg of things that people would never suspect about you, is that you are desperately shoving your cute little fingers in your cunt every night searching for release. and you literally want it so bad but your own fingers just never seem to be enough for you. you just wanna get railed like a cheap whore and then loved like a queen.

and there’s like, little nuances to ur personality for example you’re a little bookworm, but like 75% of the books you’re reading are very explicit eroticas. and you like going to the beach at sunset but only because that’s when you can somewhat discreetly strip bare and finger yourself to some good graphic smut or skinny dip (you’re dying to go to a nude beach). and you’re always going to little quirky thrifty markets but partly so you can brush your cute, tight little booty up against the men (married or not... its for scientific purposes) staring at your tits from across the way, innocently urging them to get a peak of your lingerie down the front of your shirt or under your SHORT SHORT skirt (you only dress like that when you’re extra desperate tho, you dress pretty normal on the reg. it’s part of ur unsuspecting hottie thing).

so inside you’re like a little sex kitten, but outside you’re too shyyyy 🥺 to make any moves. then out walks katsuki. you’re sitting pretty on the black velvety half circle couch with ur girls, smack in the middle of it. you have on like a tennis skirt and a no sleeve, collared polo. you’re over there giving country-club-virgin-daughter-of-the-mayor and all ur friends are giving saturday-night-slut. anyways.

kats comes out giving TYLER GAGE but you can see he has like a thong on under his cargo pants. and it’s the first act you guys have really seen since u sat down and settled, all ur friends are hollering like banshees, and ur tryyingg to keep up your “oh my, this is so unsavory, how raunchy!” thing but the way hes LOCKING eyes with you and humping the stage is making you start to loose your composure.

so he’s doing his little moves or whatevah, lookin fine as hell. the crowd is already going crazy and he’s not even been out there for two minutes, so he decides to like spice it up a little. he sees you trying to act all nonchalant and it makes you stand out amongst your friends so he jumps of the stage and gets on top of you grinding and shit and he’s leaning all over you like "hey mama you havin fun" all up in ur ear, and you're like "umm, i mean, this isn't really my scene you know..." bashfully looking away. And you can feel him literally staring into your soul like he is STARING YOU DOWN, and its making you so shy and wet as fuck at the same time.

so the snap-back comes off and all the sudden its on your head and the shirt is coming off (hes still grinding on you and doing his little choreo) and he places your hands on his washboard abs and you are fully like "oh shit. this couch def has a wet spot on it" and hes whispering all low in your ear like "you like that shawty" and you're speachless. so he gets up and does the pants-rip-off thing and he has a literal thong on that is not containing anything. and he jumps up on the couch and grabs your head and pushes it against the back of it and is fully humping your face.

at this point i would have fully been grabbing HANDFULS of his ass and licking his shit fr and i like to think you would be too.

now hes straddling your face and his hand is all up in your hair, looking down at you like the sexy motherfucker he is and hes like "well I think a little fun would do you good, you look like you need to loosen up babe." and his dick is like right in your face, his thighs, his v-line, happy trail, you can literally see his balls, and you're drenched and flushed at this point and he can practically smell you.

so he does a flip off the back of the couch or whatevah.. comes around, grabs your cute hand thats been in your lap since the beginning, tugs you up off the couch and picks you up, legs around him. everyone is cheering and your still wearing his hat as hes walking you to the private room....

AAAAAHHHHHGJVGGHH BARK

likes and reblogs appreciated!

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i-cant-sing · 1 year

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Yandere Dimitri letting reader go to a hotel/her home after she requests him to let her have a few days to herself and well, Dimi can't say no to you because you really have been on your best behaviour after he had kidnapped you a year ago and forced you to marry him and shit.

He knows he can be a little overbearing, but you're seeing it all wrong! It's just his way of expressing his love for you :D

But nevertheless, you deserve a break. Besides you'll be safe with all his men-

"No guards." You tell him. "I don't want them scaring my friends away."

"Yes guards." Dimitri furrows his brows at you, before pushing your hair behind your ear. "You won't notice them. They'll be hidden-"

"How hidden can they be when theyre built like bears and have that intimidating look in their eyes?" You glared at him before sighing. Time to use that soft voice and damsel in distress eyes he falls for. "Come on, Dimi~ please. I just- I can't stand the feeling of eyes on me. Please. I promise I won't do anything to endanger myself. I'll even call you every few hours to update but please. No guards." You said, exasperation evident in your eyes.

Dimitri cupped your cheek, heart melting into a puddle when you leaned into it. You're so cute.

"Fine. But you call every hour. And if you get so much so as a paper cut, you are to tell me immediately- katyonak, stop laughing. I'm not kidding. I will burn that paper before bringing you back here."

Now while Dimitri did promise you that he won't have any guards accompany you, he didn't mean he won't have any hiding in the shadows. They're the best of the best, so there's no way you'll be able to see them at all-

"I TOLD YOU NO GUARDS, DIMITRI!" He winced at you screeching through the phone. Looking at your angry form through the cameras installed in your room, he couldn't help but still find you so attractive as your face turned red with rage.

So cute.

He cleared his throat. "I don't know what you are talking about, honey. I didn't send any guards. Oh no- do you feel like someone's watching you? Are you in danger? I'm coming to pick you-"

"DIMITRI!"

"Yes, katyonak?"

"Send.your.men.away."

Dimitri feigned innocence. "Again, sweetie. I don't know what you're talking about. There's no one there."

"Oh really? Are you sure about that?" You asked, and Dimitri could hear the threat that was about to follow. "Well, I guess it wouldn't matter if I pulled the drapes away and took off my clothes, huh?"

"Huh? Y/n, no dont do that-" Dimitri could only watch as you pulled the curtains away and began taking your clothes off. "Y/n! Dont do that!"

"Why not? No ones looking and I sure do miss walking around naked without you grabbing me with your paws. Oops, just undid my skirt and slip them off. And I'm not wearing anything underneath-"

Dimitri immeadiately grabbed his work phone. "GET YOUR ASSES AWAY FROM THAT APARTMENT! YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING STARING AT MY WIFE OF I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PULL ALL OF YOUR EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO YOU! IM GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU-!" You smiled as you ended the call, not caring to hear the rest of his threats to those poor men.

You began getting ready for bed, finally at ease now that you didn't feel being watched. But the feeling returned about 20 minutes later, which freaked you out more because there were no windows in the room for someone to be peeping in.

So... who was watching you?

Turning to your other side, you screamed and almost punched the figure lying in your bed, but it caught your fist.

"Shhh, katyonak. Its me-" but Dimitri was cut off with a pillow hitting his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" You yelled at him, snatching your wrist away from his hand, but it only prompted to Dimitri pulling your whole body against himself.

"I missed you." He pouted, puckering his lips for a kiss but you smacked his lips back.

"After a day?!"

"Yeah. And then you said that you were taking your clothes off and well- I don't wanna miss a strip tease by you."

"You get enough strip teases at home, Dimitri. Go away, I don't wanna be near you for a week- you promised me that you would let me have a break for 7 days!"

"Yes. Not 7 nights. So, I'll be here to cuddle you and eat you out for 7 nights-"

"Stop being a perv, Dimitri!" You punched his back lightly, but he only snuggled closer to you. Eventually, you relaxed in his arms. He might be a jerk, but he's warm and not that you'd ever admit it, but you do sleep better when he hugs you.

"Y/n?"

"What?"

"When you said you missed walking around naked, you know you could do it at our home?"

"Dimitri, shut up."

"And i love you too, katyonak." He said, and you felt him kiss your forehead.

#yandere Dimitri #yandere ocs #yandere oc #yandere x reader

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malereadermaniac · 8 months

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Late Night Talkin' ~ Atsumu Miya x Male Reader

Referance to NSFW!

FwB -> Lovers????

One-sided feelings (Atsumu) -> reciprocated feelings

MDNI! FEM-DNI!

You met Atsumu when you became the manager of Inarazaki's team

You two clicked quite quickly, with flirty banter and the two of you being able to hold conversation pretty well together

Sure, you did find the blonde hot, but never anything more than that

"Oi blondie! Stop shouting at your teammates!" You shout from the sidelines as Atsumu kicks off when Suna fails to block a ball

"ITS NOT MY FAULT HE SUCKS ASS!" Atsumu shouts back as he points at the boy

It came as a shock to you when Atsumu made a move on you after having too much sake on a school trip

The two of you were on the floor of the bedroom when Atsumu leaned over to you, held your chin in his rough hand, and sloppily shoved his tongue down your throat

So once he sobered up, the two of you came to an agreement - friends with benefits.

A great solution for you, but Atsumu definitely still has some feelings for you

The best part is that because you're still friends, after Atsumu fucks you until your ass is bruised, you two lay in bed together and talk about anything and everything

"Do you ever think about the future, (y/n)?" Atsumu asks, looking over at you, his hands behind his head showing off his muscles

"Yeah all the time haha... I worry about it a lot, but I also Fantasise about it" you say with a chuckle, looking the blonde in the eyes

Atsumu blushes at the intimate eye contact

"Oh yeah? About what?" He asks with the friendliest yet most flirtatious tone he could

"If I want kids or not, marriage, jobs, houses, boring shit haha..." you chuckle

"What about you, Blondie?"

"Pretty much the same, I'm pretty dead set on a lot of things though"

"Oh yeah? Like what?" You ask with a smile

"I'm definitely going to be a pro-volleyball player, I'm not working some shitty office job..."

"Haha! Like that's gonna happen" you laugh, hitting Atsumu's shoulder with the back of your hand in laughter

"Oi! I'm so good at Volleyball! You should know Mr. Manager" Atsumu shouts in offense

"Yeah you are, to be fair you have a good shot at it..." you mumble, staring at the ceiling

"I'm not too sure on kids, marriage is a definite for me though... what about you?" Atsumu looks over, admiring you with gentle eyes

"Ummm... yeah I go back and forth with the idea of children, I don't need to get married - but if my future boyfriend really wants to, I would go along with it hehe"

Atsumu watches you as you ramble quietly, he loves your voice, your body, your personality, and he fucking loves the way your eyes drift from his eyes to his muscles to the point that you have to drag them back

"But yeah... I'm quite scared of the future..." you admit as you end your mini-rant

"Yeah I get you... But I know one thing's for certain..."

"Yeah? And what's that, 'tsumu?"

Fuck he loved it when you called him that

"I want you in my future for as long as possible, (y/n)..." he says as he turns his head to you, looking lovingly into your eyes

Silence fills the room for a split second

"Haha... Don't say things like that 'Tsumu!" You blush a dark colour as you swat Atsumu away with your hand

"Why not?" He jokes with a smile, but he's worried on the inside

".... 'cause I might actually fall for you" you mumble

"Please do, (y/n)!-" atsumu says with a passion in his eyes as he grabs your hands in his

"- I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love you, (y/n)"

"Shut up, Blondie!" You blush more and laugh

"No! Why don't you want to admit to yourself that you like me back!" Atsumu shouts, frustration now taking over

"I... I don't know...my last relationship didn't go very well so I guess I just don't wanna get my heartbroken again..." you mumble, tears pricking the sides of your eyes as Atsumu'a grip tightens on your hands

"I promise you, (y/n)... Even if it kills me, I won't ever break your heart" Atsumu's usual tone is fully gone, replaced by a serious and passionate tone

"Okay... I like you 'tsumu, I probably even love you. But gimmie a little while longer?" You plead with the blonde

"Of course... Now wanna go for a second round, Mr. Manager?"

"You horny fuck... Yes I do"

#gay #male reader #fanfic #x male reader #cute gay #light smut #fluff #anime #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x male reader

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lottiebagley · 5 months

Text

'Tis the damn season- Sirius Black

If I wanted to know Who you were hanging with While I was gone, I would've asked you It's the kind of cold Fogs up windshield glass But I felt it when I passed you

She felt weird being there, an intense feeling of guilt. She hadn't meant to leave. Really, it was the last thing on her mind at first. But everything felt claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on her. Things with Sirius were in a weird place and really she wasn't 100% sure how to handle it. Then, all of a sudden, she had this job offer. It was temporary, 6 months in New York and she needed something that felt new and alive and she wanted to be far away from Sirius. Now everything had changed because 5 years later and she still lived an ocean away.

Remus was a teacher now. Lily and James were married with a kid and trying for another. Marlene was thinking about filing for divorce.

They weren't kids anymore. They were in their mid 20's.

She was home for Christmas. She didn't have family in New York nor England, but as they had every year prior Lily and James demanded she spend the holiday at their place.

"God I'm so glad you're here!" Lily is squealing, arms flung around her friend in the busy airport. Little Harry, who's 4 now is clinging to his godmothers leg with gleeful giggles

"Hey Lils," She smiles, a soft smile, as she returns the hug. Leaning down to pick Harry up "How's my little trouble maker?" She questions, propping the dark haired boy on her hip as she grabs her suitcase, listening to the child's babble and responding when needed as her and Lily make their way to the Potter's car.

Harry is babbling excitedly from the backseat, about father christmas and presents and chocolate, as Lily attempts to join the stream of traffic leaving the car park

"James is so sorry he couldn't come with us to pick you up, he got called into work last minute," Lily apologises as they start the hour long drive back to her home.

"Prongs knows I don't mind Lils, and so do you. Just grateful to have somewhere to spend Christmas,"

"And you should know we would never let you spend it alone," Lily reminds, her friend smiling softly.

"I do know that," She reassures. It was true. She'd grown up next door the Potter family, so inevitably James was one of her best friends. When they both made Gryffindor they stuck together, as everyone who knew them expected. They had their little group which eventually adopted her dorm mates, Lily, Dorcas and Marlene after Lily and Severus stopped speaking.

It had been content, the war was fought and they survived.

The friendships survived too for the most part the only lingering awkwardness being the one shared by her and Sirius. They never dated, technically, but they were in love. Utterly deeply in love. They had been since they were 15 and though they never actually confessed it, never allowed their friendship to blossom into something more, they both knew it. Sirius was her first kiss, her first time. He took her to dances and picked her up from class and she painted his quidditch number on her cheek for each game and stroked his hair. It wasn't a relationship, but in all ways but labels it was, which led to inevitable drama. It was unsustainable but nothing changed, they both knew it was why she left.

"You can ask y'know," Lily comments, eyes ever so briefly flickering to glance at her friend knowing the thoughts in her mind.

"Don't think I wanna know the answer," She shrugs, glancing out of the window. "Is he gonna- y'know," She trails off embarrassed to admit seeing him again had been on the forefront of her mind.

"Yeah he's spending the holidays too," Lily confirms, watching as her friend nods and knowing better than to ask her what she's thinking.

"Is he..." She trails off not entirely awkwardly, Lily glances at her intense eyes and a knowing smirk "Does he. I- A date? Is he bringing someone of the holidays?" She lets the question spill out

"No," Lily informs simply, she doesn't offer anything else, changing the conversation quickly.

There's an ache in you Put there by the ache in me But if it's all the same to you It's the same to me

She'd known she was going to see him, with Lily's confirmation in her mind. She didn't know though, how she felt about it. Excited and nervous all at once, would he hate her? would he have moved on? Just because he wasn't bringing someone for the holidays didn't mean he didn't have someone.

She hadn't expected though, to see him quite so quickly. The car pulls into the drive and she knows immediately that he's there, motorbike tucked at the end of the drive way and the door is being pulled open by him. His hair is a little longer, though she hadn't seen him since last Christmas so she could have predicted that. He's clad in a warm looking jumper and some sweatpants, clearly cozy inside the comforting home.

"There's my little man!" He's cheering, wide grin, as he rushes to open a giggling Harry's car door, quickly fetching the child from his car seat and lifting him into a tight hug.

She wonders, briefly, if he was concentrating on not letting his eyes fall to her, or if maybe that magnetising need to look at each other wasn't there anymore. For him at least. She still can't imagine a view on earth she'd rather look at than that of Sirius Black.

"Thought you were coming tonight?" Lily questions, she's helping the girl with her bags but her eyes are watching Sirius, watching as he seems adamant on not looking at the girl who's staring at him so desperately Lily thinks she looks as if she could combust.

"Regulus' new girlfriend is a bore," Sirius shrugs, he knows he should greet her, that it's awkward not too, after all they are spending the next week in the same house. But he doesn't want to be the first to say something. He didn't leave. He didn't not return any calls.

"Hi Sirius," Her voice is timid and as much as he's glad to hear it, to see she's here, she's here and well and not got some boyfriend to spend her holidays with he hates it. Hates that she is reserved around him now.

"Hey, good flight?"

"Fine, crying baby but no turbulence,"

"That's good then, aside from the crying obviously," he feels like an idiot the second the words have left his mouth

"Yeah,"

"Cool," he wants to curse whoever has decided now would be a good time to remove every word he has ever known from his mind and leave him a boring, lifeless shell.

"What about you? How was Regulus?"

"Fine got a new girlfriend,"

"Heard she's a bore," The girl jokes and Sirius smiles, a real smile. Wondering, for a moment, when he last didn't have to force a smile.

It's then that Harry begins to whine, Lily swooping in to get him inside and get him a snack. The small moment effectively ruined.

So we could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown

The house is cold, it hadn't been the whole evening, upstairs and tucked in the spare bed she hadn't been. James had insisted she take the guest room. He'd assured time and time again that Remus and Sirius didn't mind her having it. Remus was going to have a blow up bed in the office and Sirius was taking the couch. She had consistently tried to take either sleeping situation, feeling bad to be the one taking the bed. The offer was refused.

She's humming softly, some Christmas song that had been stuck in her head for days having heard it so many times recently. Her hands make light work of pouring milk into a pan, the lights in the kitchen set to dim.

"Let me guess, hot chocolate?" His voice is velvety, not at all laced with sleep. She wonders if he was laid awake too, thinking about how she was directly above him, so close yet impossibly far.

He had been.

"You know me too well," She agrees, voice soft. She doesn't turn around, feels almost embarrassed to be clad in reindeer print pj bottoms and some old jumper she'd had forever.

"You just haven't changed since we were eleven," He returns, leaning on the door frame.

"You want one?" She asks, moving towards the fridge to take out the milk once more.

"I got it," He announces. She nods, lets him cross the room to take out the milk, instead taking out another mug, and dumping 2 tablespoons of hot chocolate powder into it.

He arrives by her side, placing the milk down alongside a can of whipped cream.

"Pretty sure that's for Harry's special christmas eve hot chocolate, the one with a flake and marshmallows and smarties," She comments, her tone is soft, the adoration she has for the child evident.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Sirius shrugs, he watches as she carefully adds more milk to the stove, "Just promise you won't tell on me yeah?"

"Your secret's safe with me," She confirms, she looks at him then. For the first time since he entered the room. He's already looking at her. With a look she can't read and so much intensity she wonders if anyone has ever looked at her like that before. He looks beautiful though, glowing in the soft lighting of the room.

"Y'know, I still do this every time I can't sleep," She informs him, eyes sincere and voice quiet, almost lost in the night.

He knows what she's trying to say. It had started when they were kids, he'd found her in the common room late at night on the second day of school. They'd spoken a little, but she'd stuck to James like glue, quiet when he wasn't by her side. She'd looked at him, wide glassy eyes. He'd asked what was wrong and she'd whispered to him about feeling like she was never going to belong in Gryffindor, not even at Hogwarts. He'd comforted her, wiped her tears away and helped her sneak to the kitchens, acting confident when in reality he'd never done it before either. He'd made the hot chocolate and she'd sat on a counter, he made her laugh and she suddenly felt like maybe everything would work out, like she might belong here after all.

It had become ritualistic for them. If one of them was sad they'd sneak to the kitchens and make hot chocolates and vent and cheer each other up.

Her first break up.

His bad fight with James.

Her dad passing.

His parents.

The war.

"I do too," He'd said quietly. Looking away now, almost like her words had hurt him even though it was the last thing she intended to do. "Milk's done," He adds, he wanted to leave the room, he was scared. Scared if he stood there, looking at her all domestic and cosy and glowing and beautiful, he wouldn't be able to resist the urge he'd been fighting since she climbed out of the car that morning.

I parked my car Right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours The holidays linger like bad perfume You can run but only so far I escaped it too Remember how you watched me leave But if it's okay with you It's okay with me

Her legs are curled under lap, almost cat like in the large arm chair. Remus in next to her, sprawled across the sofa with the crossword of the day from some muggle paper in his hands.

She has one too, in her lap, though she's hardly looking.

"Ok, I'm at a wall. Trade me," Remus announces, leaning across to hand her the paper he had been working on

"Huh?"

"Trade me?" He questions, eyebrows furrowing at her despondent face.

"Right," She nods, switching papers with him.

He looks at her crossword, hardly started and suddenly he feels bad.

"You okay?" He asks, he glances out of the window she's clearly looking out of. Sirius is out there, leather jacket and a loose scarf. He's laughing, head thrown back and eyes crinkled. Helping Harry, who Lily had bundled up extra tight, to build a snowman.

"Fine," She confirms, pulling her eyes away from Sirius to look at her friend.

"I can only imagine how hard this is for you," Remus says gently

"I'm okay," She shrugs. Remus nods, not sure what to say. It felt like a theme recently. In the 24 hours she'd been there Lily, James and Remus had all struggled. Not sure what to say to either of their friends. They clearly missed each other, clearly pined for each other. Yet, neither of them was doing anything about it, neither of them even wanted to talk about it.

"You know he never wanted kids," She speaks quietly, head motioning outside. "It was weird. I always thought he'd be a great dad. Still, think he would. I just- I guess I got it. His parents were-well, y'know- and I understood him not wanting to repeat that, thinking he'd be like him, his dad I mean. He wouldn't though. He'd have been a good dad. Still could be I guess,"

"I think so too," Remus confirms, eyes traveling to watch his friend as he helps Harry to roll a head for his snowman.

"I get that he was scared, just think it's a shame," She comments. She turns back to her crossword, to Remus' familiar scrawl. She'd said too much, she didn't want to put anyone in the middle of things.

"You're wrong," Remus speaks, still watching Sirius

"How so?"

"He wanted kids. He talked about it a bit," Remus explains, watching as she turns to look at him face contort with confusion, "Said he wanted them after the war. A boy first, then a girl,"

"He'd be a good girl dad,"

"Didn't seem to care too much," Remus shrugs, "He just wanted a family. Everyone to be happy and healthy and safe. Said he wanted a daughter cause he thought she'd look like you,"

"Me?"

"Who else would he have had this fictitious family with?" Remus shrugs

"Sirius didn't want to settle down, we all knew that,"

"If you'd asked he would have done,"

"Remus-" She sighs

"You know I'm right. He'd have done anything you asked,"

"That's not fair, I wasn't even his girlfriend,"

"Sorry. I'm not trying to put anything on you. I'm just saying, he would have done anything you asked. Think he probably still would,"

"I asked him to be my boyfriend. He said no," She states simply. She'd asked too early, that's what Sirius had always said. To ask right before a war was starting, when their lives were so imminently in danger. The label would make something happening to either of them so much worse, it's what he'd said when he rejected her.

Remus wants to say that if she'd asked again, asked after the war, that Sirius would have said yes. That he'd have married her on the spot if it's what she'd wanted. That Sirius had told him that the day before she left. But Remus decides it's not fair to put that on her. She left and Sirius stayed and either one of them could have changed everything.

"Let's talk about something else," Remus decides.

We could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now

Lily was stressed, that much was clear. Her hair was messy and Harry was whining on her hip. The kitchen a mess around her. James wasn't much better. Somewhere outside with Remus and Sirius, a desperate attempt to try and construct the goddamn gazebo.

"Lil, everything okay?" Her friends voice speaks from the doorway

"Oh hey, I didn't hear you get back," Lily speaks, her voice a little quick and eyes wide as she turns around, Harry starts to let out a whine and Lily's eyes screw shut.

Her friend is quick, reaching out to the toddler and distracting him quickly when she passes him his dinosaur toy from the kitchen counter. "What can I do?"

"Remind me to never listen to James and agree to host a stupid Christmas Eve party next year?" Lily questions, she's moving quickly back to the counter. Stirring the chocolate that's melting in a pan for dessert, momentarily abandoning the vegetables she had been cutting.

"Okay, and for right now?"

"I hate food cooked with magic, but this is hard and I have a thousand things to do and no time and-" Lily complains, eyes starting to turn glassy

"Lily, sweetheart, you are gonna be fine. Delegate okay? I chop a mean carrot,"

"No, you're a guest and-"

"Lil, what do you need?"

"Can you run to the supermarket?"

"Done," The girl nods, scribbling the list Lily recites onto an old envelope

"Take one of the boys with you, there's going to be a million bags," Lily instructs, pointing out her car keys as she turns back to her food prep "You're the best," She calls after her friend.

The silence in the car is awkward, they both hate it, because before all of this silence between them was never anything but comfortable. She has so much she wants to say and he does too, yet neither of them can even begin to find the words they would need.

"Got a lot to get?" Sirius questions from the passenger seat, fingers tapping anxiously at his thigh.

"There's a list in my bag," The girl answers, suddenly questioning if she'd come off blunt, she hadn't intended to.

"Can I?" He questions, head tilting to the tote bag on the back seat, unaware whether they were at an appropriate level to go rifling through each others bags.

"Sure," She agrees, he leans back, grabbing the bag and pulling it onto his lap.

He rifles through the bag for the list, trying to ignore the de ja vu the bag causes, her essentials the same as they were in her high school bag.

"You're a shit driver y'know?" he teases, looking up from the list when she takes a turn much too quickly, jolting him in his seat

"Maybe I had a really bad teacher," She shrugs in response, they both find their minds running to the summer Sirius had taught her to drive, her home opposite the Potter's allowing them to hang out every vacation.

"At some point you can't teach someone, trust me I tried,"

"You gave up,"

"Well at the time I was a glorified taxi service,"

"I'd say private chauffeur," She corrects, he smiles lightly

"I'm driving home,"

"Okay,"

Time flies Messy as the mud on your truck tires Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out We could just ride around And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown

The black dress sparkles a little in the light of the guest room, ending at her thighs and tight to her body she turns a little in the mirror, she was running a little late but it had taken forever to get her hair to fall right.

She thought maybe she'd dragged out getting ready a little too long. The party had started downstairs, there was so many people. People from school. People she didn't know, new friends and colleagues. Her friends, all of them. Yet it was daunting. She thinks maybe it was the thought of Sirius, Sirius all dressed up because she just knew he'd look perfect. Sirius flirting with some girl he'd invited, or one of James' colleagues or someone from school.

She'd been drinking wine as she got ready, something she'd done to ease her nerves but now she almost regretted. Feeling a little tipsy and overly emotional, the idea of watching Sirius with someone else left her feeling a white hot anger in her very soul. A feeling she knew was incredibly unjustified, yet she couldn't push it away.

It's why, as she walked into the decorated living room, bee lining to Marlene, who was squealing at the sight of her well missed friend, she was glad to see Sirius was in the corner of the room playing with Harry.

She spends hours catching up with friends, making polite chit chat with people from distant memories, smiling and exchanging pleasantries with strangers. She allows some guy from Lily's work to flirt with her but doesn't give anything back.

She watches Sirius from afar. He looks beautiful, so utterly beautiful. He's dressed in a white shirt that's tight around his form, the top few buttons undone and his blazer abandoned somewhere.

He spends as much of his night as he possibly can with Harry, staying with the kid until he's tucking the sleeping boy into his bed. Partly because he firmly believes Lily and James deserve a night off, partly because it's the perfect alibi.

After that Sirius tries to float, doing little jobs to help things run smoothly and using a plethora of excuses to excuse himself from conversations. He feels rude, particularly to a girl from school who he is sure is nervous to approach him. He isn't rude. But he thinks maybe it comes off that way.

He's not sure is it's just that it hurts to see her so okay, head back laughing with her friends. Or maybe it's just how drained he's felt all day.

He grabs a bottle of champagne and his blazer, sneaking outside and to sitting on the floor round the side of the house. Out of sight from any windows. He digs through his blazer pocket for a packet of cigarettes and a lighter, a habit he's been trying to drop but honestly was struggling with.

Its 5 minutes of silence before he is the slight click of heels on the floor. He holds his breath, hoping to not be found. She rounds the corner and he exhales. Feeling less drained just at the sight of her.

"Got a light?" She questions, Sirius nods and watches as she crosses towards him, cigarette in one hand and glass of champagne in the other. She holds the cigarette out to him and he lights it for her. "Mind if I sit? Or I can go smoke in the back garden and we can both pretend the other person isn't out here?"

"Sit," He says simply, she nods, sitting next to him on the cold ground, Remus had shovelled snow all afternoon. "Since when did you smoke?"

"Since 2 years ago, I had some project due at work and I was crazy stressed. Some guy I work with offered me one and I accepted. Stupid looking back," She informs simply.

"It's bad for you,"

"I've been telling you that since we were 17," She reminds

"Been trying to quit," He admits, watching her as she stares at him. Her eyes are slightly hazy, he can see she's drank a little too much but she's holding herself together gracefully.

"That's good. I have too,"

"Good," He nods, he watches as she inhales and exhales and sips her champagne.

"Why are you out here?"

"It was too much in there," Sirius admits, she nods in quiet understanding

"I get that,"

"You always did. Get me," He sighs, almost wishfully

"I guess so,"

"Do you regret leaving?" He asks. He thinks maybe he shouldn't. That come morning maybe he'll regret it. But there's something about the way she looks in the moonlight. The way she's been looking at him since she came outside, and how it's the same way she's always looked at him.

"I'm really proud of my career. I wouldn't have it if I had stayed," She's careful in her words, he can see her thinking about them before she speaks

"Right." He nods, her words in his mind are a polite rejection.

Sleep in half the day Just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait If you don't ask me to stay

"Merry Christmas!" James' voice is loud as he enters the guest bedroom, flipping the light on without a care in the world

"I hate you," She states simply, they grew up together and James really was the closest thing she had to a brother. He smirks watching as she uses the thick sage green bedding to cover her eyes from the light.

"I know. Haz wants you to come downstairs so we can do gifts,"

"What time is it?"

"6. He's been up since 4," James informs, she pulls the duvet down from her face to see him leaning in the door way

"Fine," She agrees stretching a little before clambering from the bed. The matching Christmas pjs Lily had purchased for everyone bunched up a little.

"Hey, you doing okay? With Sirius I mean," James' voice drops low as he asks, eyes scanning the landing behind him briefly

"I'm fine," She can tell from the look on his face he doesn't believe her "Promise,"

"Mooney said he saw you guys sneaking back into the house last night. At the party," she hates the way his voice sounds hopeful

"We were both having a smoke James. It's nothing,"

"Thought you were quitting,"

"You sound like your mother,"

"Harsh! Go downstairs already woman," James teases, his tone light as he shoves her playfully on her way past him.

Lily makes mimosas and the group of friends share easy laughs as the day passes by, gifts exchanged and Harry smothered with love and attention. She decides it's the easiest day, people are distracted enough in the festivities the Potters have planned to not spend the whole day worrying about her and Sirius.

Without eyes on them they both find it easier to talk, they share whispered jokes and his dizzying beauty seems softer when he's smiling at her as they peel veg together.

"Lil I'm serious, go play with James and Harry. We can handle veg duty," She's determined in the way she gently pushes the girl through the archway into the kitchen.

"Thankyou sweetie," Lily is beaming, looking between her friend and Sirius's back knowingly before shooting her friend a knowing wink. "Rem, come with!" She calls as she retreats to the living room. Remus does as told, but not before giving Sirius a pointed look, one that screams 'SAY SOMETHING'.

"I've got the potatoes if you've got the carrots," Sirius offers

"Sounds good," She confirms, fluffy socks pattering on the floor as she takes her place beside him at the oak counter.

"When are you flying back to New York?"

"The 28th, I promised Mitch I'd be back in time for his birthday stroke crazy new years party,"

"That's fun," Sirius is lying. Nothing about what she just said is fun. It's the opposite. He has three more days before she's an ocean away all over again. She's rushing home, not staying for new years like she has every other year for some guy.

That's the least fun of all, Mitch. Who the fuck is Mitch? Sirius is racking his memories, in all the awkward Christmases they'd shared since she left she's never once mentioned a Mitch.

She sees the question in his eyes but doesn't say anything else. She's about to, truly she is, until the song playing through the small radio changes.

"Oh my god it's my favourite Christmas song!" She's beaming, dropping the carrot and knife she's holding and rushing to turn the music up.

He smiles gently, watching as she begins to dance around the kitchen. Red tartan pyjamas and the knit jumper Remus gifted her, he can't stop his mind from running to all the summer holidays they'd make breakfast together in the Potter's kitchen and she'd dance around.

"God, you still can't dance," He teases, gentle smile

"Shut up and dance with me!" She demands, she stretching an arm out to him and fuck he wishes he knew how to say no to her.

They jump around and sing along, hands linked together as he twirls her around the room, hearts beaming and flooding the room with laughter.

The song ends and she's breathless, chest to chest, so close to each other.

"Mitch?" He can't help the question, not when he's so close to her, not when it's taking everything in him not to lean down and kiss her

"He's gay."

"Oh,"

"There's no one else for me," She says it quietly, hands dropping his and looking down to her feet, almost embarrassed to admit it

His hand shoots up, cupping her cheek gently and forcing her to look at him

"Me either," He reassures, voice smooth and soft.

So I'll go back to LA And the so-called friends who'll write books about me if I ever make it And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking And the heart I know I'm breaking is my own To leave the warmest bed I've ever known

James Potter can make a kick-ass espresso martini. It wasn't new information, he always made cocktails in the evening on Christmas. The rest of the inner friend group (the other girls from the dorm at school) and their spouses would come over, they would play stupid games and listen to the music they grew up on and the parents would take it in turns to check on Neville and Harry who by this point would be sound asleep in Harry's space themed bedroom.

Lily had gawped with wide eyes when she'd chosen the seat next to Sirius at Christmas dinner. Remus almost choked on his carrot when Sirius had ever so casually wrapped his arm around her at the table and she had leaned into his touch Marlene had been shooting her friend knowing looks all night, eyebrows raised in question at the way she'd been perched on the arm of his arm chair the whole night.

Nothing had happened. Not really. But something in the air had changed, something in the way he was looking at her was different, the longing glances had lost their sadness.

The night ends slowly, Marlene and Dorcas wander out into the night. Alice heads to where James had pulled out the sofa bed in the office. Lily leaves having checked on the kids one last time.

She's the next to head to bed, acutely aware of the sound of Sirius behind her on the stairs even though he's been sleeping downstairs the whole trip.

"What are you doing up here?" She whispers the question in the hallway as Sirius arrives on the landing.

"I wanted to say night," He whispers back, he looks too pretty. The warm lighting from the downstairs light makes him almost glow and he has a drunken grin on his face. She's no better, her eyes glassy from one too many of those damned martinis.

"You said night downstairs," She counters, he rolls his eyes fond gentle smile as he tucks her hair behind her ear.

"I'm glad you're here,"

"Me too," She confirms it quietly "Look forward to getting to see you, talk to you all year." He doesn't know if the light blush on her cheeks is from the alcohol or the whispered confession.

"Doesn't have to just be at Christmas y'know? You could call, visit even. I really miss you," He isn't shy in his confession. He'd scream it from the rooftops if it meant she might be a part of his life again for more than just the holidays.

"Sirius," Her voice is soft, he's too close. He is so close and she feels overwhelmed by him, drunk on his scent and using all her self control to keep her hands out of his hair.

"I mean it, darling. Truly," His hand reaches out, firm against her chin. "Hey, look," He speaks, face close enough she feels his breath on her face. She follows his eyes, looking up to see a sprig of mistletoe above them.

James does it every year, enchants mistletoe to sprout above two people in love. Mainly, he does it so he can kiss Lily and remind her to stop being so stressed about hosting and actually enjoy the holidays. Partly, he did it in the hopes it might help his two friends find their way back to each other.

"Can I?" Sirius's question is full of nerves, scared he's pushing her too far

"Always,"

It's gentle and timid, the way he pushes his lips to hers. It's safe at first, a peck. Neither wants the other to freak and run.

He's the one to push it further, though that isn't really surprise.

He pulls her ever closer, chest to chest and his big arms wrap around her, holding her to him. He kisses her like he's desperate, scared if he stops he'll loose her all over again.

She feels like she can breathe properly for the first time in years. Feels a weight off her shoulders as she allows her hands to tangle into his hair, a craving she'd had every time she looked at him. She lets him man handle her towards the door to the guest room.

His tongue pushing into her mouth as he holds her against the wall by the door. One of her hands stays tangled in his hair as the other moves down to hold onto the warm skin of his hip, fingertips slipping under his maroon sweater.

His hand travels down, landing on her bum with a firm squeeze and the motion seems to bring her back to her senses a little. She pulls away, though Sirius is quick to chase her kiss swollen lips with his own. She giggles in response, one last chaste peck to his lips before she looks him in the eyes, blown out a little with lust and creased from his bright grin.

"Sirius," She sighs out, he smirks head falling to allow himself to press a trails of kisses down her jaw and onto her neck

"Darling," he murmurs against her skin

"This is a really bad idea," Her point seems a little futile as she moves her head to the side to allow him more space to press his kisses

"Tell me you want me to stop. Say the word and I'll go back downstairs and you can go to sleep and we can wake up and pretend none of this happened,"

We could call it even Even though I'm leaving And I'll be yours for the weekend 'Tis the damn season

He doesn't think he's ever seen a sight so beautiful. She's laid next to him, body lit by the pale moonlight casting through the window. Her skin is bare and flushed and she fits against his body as perfectly as she always has.

Her leg is strewn over his naked torso, her head resting on his chest, hand reaching up to comb her fingers through his hair.

His arm that wraps around her lands on her back, thumb pressing comforting circles into her back.

"You're so perfect," He speaks into the quiet. She tilts her head up on his shoulder, allowing him to see her beaming face

"Sirius, you are the most beautiful person I've ever known," Her tone is impossibly soft, as his heart in that moment. The sincerity in her voice makes his whole body feel warm.

He feels too overwhelmed by the sickly sweet love in his chest to come up with much of a response, instead he presses his lips to her forehead an action so full over love and comfort it almost hurts her chest.

"I'm gonna hate having to miss you again," She says softly, her settling back into his chest as he squeezes her closer

"Only ever a phone call away," He hums hand moving to toy with the ends of her hair

"You could visit?" She suggests, scared he'll laugh at the thought though she has no reason to be

"Anything, if you want me to do it I will," His promise makes her grin widely, she leans up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

The quiet takes over once more, both basking in having the other in there arms again, a feeling they'd been craving in the years of absence.

"I'm sorry I left," She whispers, she'd wanted to say it a thousand times, truly she had.

"I'm sorry I didn't come after you," He pauses for a beat, he thinks maybe the question is too big, what he's asking of her too much. His eyebrows furrowing as he thinks, deep pout on his lips.

"What are you thinking about?" She questions, thumb gently smoothing out the lines in his frown

"Stay," He says it quietly, so quiet she almost misses it. "Please, I need you to stay,"

We could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now

She hadn't technically said no. She hadn't said anything really.

She'd felt like an idiot, sitting up in the bed to better at Sirius. Blinking as her mind raced, what if she did stay? what would she be staying for? would he finally be ready to commit to her or was he asking her to give up the career she worked so hard for to be around when he wanted a casual fuck?

"Say something," He hated how much his own voice sounded like it was begging, he hated the look in her eyes. The guilt. She was going to say no. He was certain of that as he looked at her.

"Say anything," He doesn't mean to sound angry. Doesn't mean to make her feel bad.

She's left, blinking as she desperately tries to gather her thoughts. He gets out of bed.

His movements around the rooms are sharp and hurried, tugging his clothes back on.

"Sirius," She says, she needs him to look at her. Needs him to stop for a second, to talk to her.

"No," His hands tug his jumper over his head as he moves towards the door

"Stop. Sirius, please just wait," She clambering out of the bed to follow him, grabbing her pyjama pants and pulling them up quickly as she reaches for the large knit sweater. She's following him down the stairs of the silent house.

He slams the front door in her face before she has the chance to follow him out into the snow. She hears the revving of his motorbike before the engine kicks in, hears the way it fades away as he races into the night.

She feels like an idiot. Feels pathetic as she sinks to the ground, back pressed to the front door. She had vowed a long time ago to stop crying over Sirius Black yet she can't stop herself.

"What's going on?" Remus is calling. Woken up by the sound of the slamming door. She wipes at her tears, desperate to hide them from him but the second he sees her and sends her a soft smile she's blubbering all over again.

"He left. He fucking just left," She's hiccuping through her crying, and he joins her on the old wooden floor.

"What happened?" He asks gently, a comforting hand squeezes at her knee.

"We slept together,"

"Ok, ok and then he just left?"

"No. He asked me to stay and I- I froze Rem. I sat there like an idiot and didn't say anything. He just- I needed to think and he wouldn't give me fucking second,"

"What would you have said?"

"I don't know what he wants. If he wanted to try like really try I would have said yes,"

"He needs to know that,"

Time flies Messy as the mud on your truck tires Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out We could just ride around And the road not taken looks real good now

She hadn't been to his apartment before. Remus had apparated her there and waited with her in a comfortable silence until he'd arrived. Sat on the curb outside, her head on his shoulder. Knowing he was home Remus left, she was safe on the busy London street, Sirius wouldn't let any harm come to her despite the deep sigh he lets out at the sight of her.

"I wanna be alone,"

"Too bad. I need to talk to you," She demands, arms crossed in front of her.

"We can talk later,"

"No Sirius. You don't get to say all that shit to me and then just leave,"

"Fine. come on,"

He leads her in an awkward silence up into the building, refusing to look at her in the short elevator ride to the 8th floor.

His apartment is very him, it's cosy and homely and smells like the Gryffindor common room.

He drops onto the sofa in the living room, she's too busy eyeing the framed photos on the wall, heart melting a little at the photo of the two of them, both in school uniform sat by the black lake her head on his shoulder his arms holding her close to him. Matching bright grins staring back at her.

"You wanted to talk," He reminds, embarrassed that even after rejecting him she's seeing his framed photo of her.

" The other day, at the party You asked me if I regret leaving? I lied. No I didn't lie. I just- I didn't tell you the truth. I regret it, every fucking day I regret it, I lay awake every night thinking about what we could have been if I'd stuck around,"

"It's a little late for that," he grumbles, arms folded and a stoic look on his face

"Could you just listen to me?" She snaps, "I've been in love with you since I was 14 Sirius and you have never ever wanted a relationship,"

"That's not true," He protests

"Oh. So you just didn't want one with me?" She feels like an idiot, standing in front of him. Their friends were wrong, she was wrong.

He hates the hurt in her voice, the tears in her eyes.

He's on his feet now, passing over the burgundy rug to grab her hand in his

"That's not what I mean. I just- I was scared, scared if you were mine and something happened. I couldn't have lived through that,"

"You never told me that, you always just said you weren't a boyfriend guy,"

"I could be. For you I could be,"

"Why did you leave?" She questions, desperate to know why he couldn't have given her just a few minutes to work things out

"I couldn't hear you tell me that you don't love me enough to stay,"

"I would never say that,"

"No?" He questions timidly, his eyes searching her desperately

"No," She shakes her head "If I stay this can't be what it was. I'm giving up my life here. We are older now and we are safe and this has to be real,"

"It's always been real to me. I'm in love with you, been in loved with you since second year and I will be until the day I die. So sweetheart, please, please be mine? for real this time,"

"It'll always be you Sirius," She promises, his lips kiss her and she feels herself fall in love with him all over again.

And it always leads to you and my hometown It always leads to you and my hometown

#harry potter fanfiction #sirius #sirius black x reader #sirius black #harry potter #sirius orion black #sirius x reader

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gojonish · 4 months

Text

one could only dream || ᵏᵃᵏᵘᶜʰᵒ

he told you he'd protect you. so why is he the one threatening your life right now?

pairing: kakucho hitto x fem!reader

context: szn three spoilers, angst (no comfort), character death, violence and guns, definitely some grammar/spelling mistakes

note: i quite literally forgot the name of this timeline but it was the timeline where kakucho kills takemichi and naoto yk yk

growing up, you and kakucho were inseparable.

ever since the day you met him at the convenience store, you knew he was going to be your other half. despite you being a big figure in toman and him being tenjiku's second in command, both of you still figured out a way to be together.

now that you two were older, your relationship had taken the next step. you officially moved in with him and left all the gang stuff behind, wanting to live a nice and quiet life.

kakucho still stayed in a gang, but you didn't mind it. he knew how to separate his work and personal life, which you were grateful for. you were also thankful he didn't bring up his best friend, izana, because you absolutely despised him. you still hadn't forgiven him for plotting emma's death.

but somehow you could forgive kakucho and you didn't know why.

maybe it was the way he kissed you so gently and held you so warmly. maybe it was the way he told you he loved you every single day. maybe it was the way he put your safety first, promising to protect you from anything and anyone.

so why was he pointing a gun at you right now?

you thought he cared about you- he loved you. he told you he'd protect you.

one could only dream.

two hours earlier

"when are you and your man going to get married? i swear, you guys are attached at the hip at this point."

you and your friend were currently hanging out at a cafe, the coffee in your hands still steaming hot.

you chuckled, "to be honest, i think he's hiding something from me."

your friend gasped, "no way! do you think he's hiding a ring?"

"maybe! i don't know! i don't wanna get my hopes up," you smiled thinking about how kakucho had been oddly suspicious lately.

"girl, trust me, that man is head over heels for you. what has he been doing that makes you so suspicious of him?"

you pursed your lips, "well, he's been a lot more nervous around me recently. i don't know why!"

"it's definitely cause he's scared to propose."

"kaku's always been nervous about things like that. it took him all his courage to ask me to be his girlfriend."

"okay, say he proposes tomorrow. are you ready for marriage?"

marriage?

you've been with kakucho for years. you know he could be an amazing husband, with his caring nature and loving aspects.

"yeah," you smiled, "i'd love for him to be my husband."

"it won't be long before kids start coming too."

you spit out the coffee you were drinking, "okay that's a little too far into the future!"

she laughed at your reaction, but you couldn't help but think of having a family with kakucho. him taking care of the kids and taking them to school. you could get used to a life like that.

one could only dream.

after coming back from the cafe, you entered your and kakucho's house.

you should've known something was wrong when you saw izana's shoes on the doorstep.

"kaku? i saw your car out, are you home?" your voice rang out through the house.

no answer.

you exhaled and called out kakucho's name again, but he still didn't answer. from the window, you saw small droplets of water drip down the clear glass.

"hm, it's raining."

looking away from the window, you glanced over at the living room to see if there was any evidence of him being there.

that was when you saw it.

your white couch, stained with something red. it wasn't a lot of blood, just a smidge of it.

something was wrong.

"kaku?" you called out as you ran upstairs, trying to find him.

that was when you heard a grunt coming from your master bedroom.

you swallowed the lump in your throat and pushed open the door to see your boyfriend, bloodied and beaten up. izana was right next to him, smiling at the kakucho while whispering sayings to him.

"kaku?" you called out and ran to him, "oh my god, kaku what happened?"

ignoring the white-haired man beside you, you cupped kakucho's face and examined his injuries. "who did this to you? oh my gosh, you have bruises everywhere, what happened?"

you didn't notice that kakucho didn't give you a single glance when you came into the room. when he finally looked at you, his eyes were blank. it looked like the life had been sucked out of them.

you had no choice but to get answers from the male next to you, "kurokawa, what happened?"

the white-haired man just shrugged and smiled, "he seemed to forget what his priorities in life were. i had to reteach them to him."

"you did this to him?"

izana nodded, causing your hand to fly up and slap him across the face. you clenched your jaw, raising your hand to do it again when someone grabbed your wrist to stop you.

kakucho did.

"kaku, let go! he hurt you!" you wriggled in his grip, but he was too strong.

"stop, y/n, he's right. i have forgotten what's important in this world."

"baby, what are you talking about?"

he let go of your wrist and glared at you. there was a certain look in his eyes, a look you knew was dangerous.

you were scared.

"you," he started, "are a problem."

"don't problems need to be taken care of?"

"what?" was the only thing you could muster out.

"he met takemitchy the other day," izana said from behind you, "it was a real eye-opener for him."

kakucho spoke, "takemichi is an obstacle and only causes problems, so-"

"i killed him."

you stared at kakucho, tears starting to build up in your eyes, "k-kaku, i thought you said you didn't kill."

he ignored what you said, "you- you are causing problems because you are distracting. you distract me from izana's real goal. you distract me from izana. i am loyal to only izana."

it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that too.

you were panicking. this wasn't your kakucho. your kakucho wouldn't look at you like that. your kakucho wouldn't say these things.

"kaku-"

there's a gun. he pulled it out of his pocket. you didn't even notice he had one on him.

he's pointing it at you. his finger is on the trigger.

"did kurokawa say something to you? is that why you're like this?"

"i only told him what was right. it seemed like he was living some fairytale with you, so i told him to get rid of you," izana smiled, "kakucho, do it."

you saw kakucho's lips go into a fine line, then replied, "yes, izana."

you didn't feel it at first. you didn't know why but you just didn't. it wasn't until a few seconds later that you felt your breathing intensify and red liquid trickle onto your skin. you dropped to the ground, small and quick breaths escaping your mouth.

kakucho crouched near you, watching as the life slowly left you eyes.

"k-kaku," you mustered out, tears running down your face, "i loved you. i always l-loved you. how could you do this?"

he let out a heavy sigh, "i'm sorry, y/n."

"i w-wanted to marry you," you choked and saw your vision get blurry.

he sighed, "one could only dream, y/n."

he shut your eyes after seeing you breathe out your last breath and stood back up.

"one could only dream,” he repeated softly, not knowing if he was saying it to you or to himself this time.

#IM SORRY I WAS FEELING ANGSTY #tokyo revengers #kakucho x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev x you #angst #kakucho #kakucho x you

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felice-jaganshi · 19 days

Text

My Fallen Apple

Chapter 12

The two of you spend months planning, but something important is missing… Zariah, your best friend in heaven, won't answer her phone. Lucifer can see how sad and uncertain you look, and confronts you.

“Hey, what's gotten my Little Apple down?” He wraps an arm around your waist.

“It's… My best friend. Before I moved down here, I told her about you, and she said if we ever got married, she'd take the trip to hell to be my maid of honor without hesitation. But, she hasn't answered my texts since last extermination.”

“Oh geez… You don't think she was one of the exorcists do you?” He felt guilty, her friend may have been killed by his people.

“No way! She's always been a pacifist, even when we were alive.” Which made this even more distressing, why would she suddenly go silent?

“Well, what's her name? I still got a few contacts in heaven, maybe I could set you up a meeting to talk things out?” He would do anything for her. He already knew he'd have to deal with heaven soon anyways. No matter how terrifying, he wasn't pushing it onto Charlie anymore. He was the king, damn it!

“Her name's Zariah. She has orange-” His eyes go wide and he cuts you off.

“Oh Fuck! Her?! She's been staying at the hotel!”

“What?! What the fuck, why hasn't she called me then?!” You're both excited and worried about the news. You thought for sure she would have contacted you right away!

“She uh… she kind of sold her soul to another demon. She's on his leash, so it's likely she can't go anywhere without his permission.” He answered, looking away, he didn't like seeing her so upset. Even though it wasn't targeted to him, it still felt bad.

You groan in frustration, “Oh my god! That's fucking great .” You take a breath to calm down. “Okay, let's go. I wanna see her now .” Your tone is firm. You're trying to control your anger. You're not mad at Lucifer, you're mad at whoever the fuck had your bestie on a leash .

He nods mutely, and opens a portal, taking both of you to the hotel. You immediately storm through and Charlie looks confused, “Becca? Dad? Is everything okay?”

“Sweetheart, where's Zariah? Turns out she and Becca were friends in heaven.”

“Oh, she and Alastor are out in cannibal town getting tea with Rosie. They should be back in a bit.”

You look at Charlie, “Is that the one who has her soul? What kind of demon is he? You said cannibal town?!” You had a sinking feeling…

“Oh, he's known as the radio demon. And it's actually really nice over there if you don't eat anything you're offered.” She sounded nervous.

“Fucking… God damn it!” You look back through your texts with her and read them out. “ 'Found a book on a radio host serial killer, best thing I've read in months, wish I could meet him.' That's her last text to me before going silent. So I'm guessing she fucking found him!” You're so mad at Zariah! You expected her to be smarter than trying to date an actual serial killer! “When she gets back here I'm shaking her so hard! ” You never hit her, but she could be so…

Lucifer put a comforting arm around your shoulders, “Whoa there, Apple Tart, calm down…”

_______

The two eventually did return to the hotel, and as soon as your eyes met, she squeaked and ran to you.

“Becca!!” You let her hug you and can't help but hug back.

“Zariah! You've been here this whole time and didn't call me?! I've missed you!!” Her purrs are comforting, to the point you almost forget why you were mad.

“My phone broke when I fell, and you know I never memorized anyone's numbers.”

Radio static fills your ears, and you look to see a red clothed demon, who speaks with a radio filter.

“Ah, an old friend of yours darling? You must introduce me.” His smile was creepy in that it didn't reach his eyes.

“Oh, yeah!” She pulls back from your hug. “Alastor, this is Becca, my bestie beyond life and death! We used to call each other soulmates when we were alive. I still think we are, honestly! Becca, this is Alastor, the radio demon! Remember when I texted you about my research?! I found him!” She's practically bouncing on her heels in excitement.

“I can see that.” Your tone is filled with irritation, “I heard you sold your soul to him.” You suddenly grab her by the shoulders and gently, yet vigorously, shake her. “What is wrong with you?! Of course serial killers are charming, it's how they catch their prey! Make. Better. Decisions! ” Zariah goes along with the shaking, not putting up any resistance to it.

“Whoa, Becca, calm down! I'm fine! Al would never hurt-”

“No! Do not!” You stop shaking her. “I'm saying this because I love you. You need to get out of this ‘deal’ thing and get back to heaven where you're safe.”

You can hear Alastor growling, and it's terrifying.

“Becca, no! I'm not leaving him anymore than you'd leave Lucifer! He's never going to hurt me, it's part of the deal I made, why does everyone think I'm an idiot?! I may not be the smartest, but I'm not dumb!”

Alastor suddenly wrapped an arm around Zariah and pulled her to his chest.

“Miss Becca, I believe we've gotten off on the wrong foot. I only kill sinners. Even in life, that was true. So please, do calm down. I would never harm my darling. She is more precious to me than you realize.” His words sounded so genuine.

“Fine, but I'm keeping an eye on you. You hurt her, and I'm coming for your head!” You level a solid glare at him, and he nods.

“Agreed, if I fail my dearest, you have every right to seek restitution on her behalf.”

“Oookay, well this was exciting!” Charlie jumped in, “But now let's focus back in on some positives!” She wanted to stop any potential fights before they broke out.

“Right, Z, there was a reason I was looking for you.” You say, “Remember when you promised to be my maid of honor if I got married? Well, it's happening!” You finally drop the bomb, and Zariah squeals in delight and hugs you tight!

“Oh my god, yes!! He actually proposed?! I'm so happy for you!”

Lucifer smiled fondly as he watched the two of you, it was sweet. And he was glad to finally have someone who might be able to convince Zariah to get out of her deal with the demon. Or at least to leverage her power over Alastor and get him to stop being such an ass to him all the time!

#hazbin hotel #lucifer magne #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar #alastor's pet #alastor x oc #ace alastor #alastor x reader #aroace alastor #fallen apple #fallen angel

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happyk44 · 7 months

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Annabeth calling Grover her best friend one time and Percy doesn't talk to her for an entire month. When she tries to talk to Grover about the silence, he informs her that Percy has told him that he's not allowed to talk to her because she has to understand that Grover only has one best friend and it's Percy.

She's really annoyed by this and argues that people can have more than one best friend. Percy is also her best friend! And Grover agrees. Yes. People can have more than one best friend.

But unfortunately that rule does not apply to Grover and Percy has very clearly stated that he is Grover's one and only, and then he tells her to have a good day and that he will start talking to her again when Percy does. All of this is related through a nearby nymph like a one-sided game of telephone because, you know, Grover can't talk to Annabeth.

Years later Annabeth brings it up to Percy and Grover with a laugh and is like "ah that was so weird. but at least you're not like that anymore" and Percy is just "what are you talking about?" "you know - you get that we're all besties" "um, no. Grover and I are besties, you and I are dating, and Grover and you are just really good friends"

Grover nodding in agreement with everything Percy says. Annabeth trying to understand how these weirdos are two of the most important people in her life.

"Percy," she says. "we are in a relationship"

"yeah but we're not best friends about it."

"because I'm his bestie," Grover reminds her and Percy fingerguns at her in response

it takes her a few seconds to understand that Percy, despite the passage of time, is still an idiot. and that apparently, despite her previous thoughts, Grover is one too. "don't both of you know the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with is supposed to be your best friend?"

"we do plan to spend the rest of our lives together"

"yeah, Annabeth, what kind of friendships do you have going on where you don't wanna have them in your life forever?"

she's ten seconds from throwing her smoothie at one of them. "no the fucking adage, marry your best friend"

Percy shakes his head. "Annabeth, I can't do that, Grover is straight so it wouldn't be fair to him, and also-" he gestured at her with his hot dog. "I'm dating you and he's getting married to juniper"

"who you don't consider to be one of your best friends?"

"no." Grover shakes his head like she's a little kid misunderstanding a basic concept. "Percy is my one and only best friend, and Juniper is my beloved fiancee, and future wife." Grover gets a dreamy look on his face. "And the future mother of our adorable future children"

"your babies are going to look so cute," Percy says

"i know right?"

They both devolve into speculation about whether or not Grover's first kid will be a satyr or a dryad and what features between him and juniper would make the best combo, while Annabeth closes her eyes and massages her temple, suddenly feeling twelve years old again and beyond baffled because it's been a week and Percy won't answer her emails or the landline at his apartment, and Grover's reason why makes absolutely no sense to her whatsoever

#happy talks pjo #annabeth chase #grover underwood #percy jackson

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matthewkniesys · 11 months

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i know it won't work - trevor zegras

summary: You let go of Trevor but why can't he let go of you? You know it won't work so why can't he see that? You're only trying to save each other from more heartbreak than necessary. You just want him to be happy.

a/n: this is the second fic in my good riddance by gracie abrams fic series. you don't have to read the first one for this to make sense. so this is my first song fic so please be nice. idk if i did it right. everything in bold is the song lyrics. i recommend listening to the song but you don't have to. i really do love this fic so hopefully yall will too🫶

pairing: trevor zegras x gn!reader

warnings: angsty and some swearing

good riddance fic series

The last year has been hard for you. Nobody ever told you how hard graduating highschool would be. Everyone paints graduating as this big celebration. You're never warned of the hard choices you’ll have to make and the people you’ll lose. The one person you never expected to lose was your childhood best friend and boyfriend of 3 years, Trevor Zegras. And you could never have predicted that you would be the one walking away. Not him.

I left you there

Heard you keep the extra closet empty

In case this year I come back and stay throughout my 20s

Your body is drained of any energy. Moving into your dorm room has sucked any will to do anything for the rest of the day out of your body. You’re excited for the new chapter that University will bring to your life but you’re also mourning the loss of the life you had before. You feel like a different person since everything in your life did a complete 180 a few months ago.

Leaving Trevor was probably the hardest thing you’d ever done. You didn’t just lose your boyfriend that day, you also lost your best friend. It was what needed to happen though. It was this one day when he made a comment about how he would follow you anywhere and give up hockey in a heartbeat that made you freak out. You had to cut ties. Trevor loved you in an all consuming way. You loved him in a nostalgic kind of way. In the way that you two had been best friends forever. You loved him but slowly you were realizing it wasn’t in that same romantic way his love for you was. It was not purely but more platonic. You couldn’t ever see yourself marrying him and so even though it hurt both of you, leaving was the right decision. If only Trevor could understand that.

Picking up your phone to check social media, you see you’ve got a missed call from a friend, well she’s probably your best friend now, since you walked away from Trevor. You choose her number from your recent contacts and let it ring until she picks up.

“Hey, y/n, how are you? Are you all settled in?”

“I’m good. It was a real tight fit, to get everything in the dorm but it worked out. How about you? How’s your dorm? I can’t believe we are literally on the opposite side of the country now.”

Your friend laughs, “ Yeah, it was quite the tight fit here too. The dorms are tiny. But I’m doing good. I’m excited for classes to start.”

You pause for a second, wanting to ask the question that’s been burning in the back of your mind for weeks now. You wanted to know how Trevor was. Trevor and your friend had always been close. When you walked away from Trevor you didn’t want them to have to end their friendship so they still hang out.

Stuttering, you ask,” Hey, um how’s Trev doing?”

“Are you sure you really wanna know?” Yes, you are sure. At this point you feel like you need it as much as you need the air you breathe. You can guess he probably isn’t doing great, you aren’t either but you need to hear it from someone who knows.

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna be honest with you.” She pauses. “He’s fucked up over you. You walking away from him really came out of the blue. He blames himself. He thinks he did something wrong.” Hearing that he thinks it’s his fault breaks your heart. All he did was love you with all of himself and you couldn’t reciprocate that.

“I-fuck. Why couldn’t I just love him back? It’s what he deserved and I couldn’t give it to him.”

“Y/n, it’s okay. In the long run this will be better. At least neither of you will be stuck in a shitty relationship. But if I’m being completely honest I think Trevor still thinks you’re gonna come back. Like you’re gonna realize you made a mistake and change your mind. You probably don’t wanna hear this but he keeps the extra closet empty. You know, just in case you decide to come back and stay for good.”

Hearing that, shatters your heart into a million pieces.

What if I won’t?

How am I supposed to put that gently?

And down the road