#which then ends up making it worse because oh hey her husband is rejecting a type of intimacy without explanation again! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

struggling-with-time · 3 years

Text

How the lack of a nickname can become something more [Corpse x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Gender Neutral!reader

Summary: “Hi! Sorry if this is weird, it’s my first time making a request but could you maybe write something for Corpse Husband where the reader is a streamer that’s very friendly and always calls her friends/people she’s playing with these cute nicknames (like babe, sweetie, hun...). But she has a crush on Corpse, so she never uses any of the nicknames on him and everyone thinks it’s because she doesn’t like him, so she has to explain to her stream?” requested by @voidcaine

Warnings: fluff, sorta angst

Words: 1.9k words

A/N: I had a good idea where this was supposed to go, then it went the complete other direction. Also does anyone want to read my original stuff?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey guys!” You join the discord call with the group of people to start a game of Raft. Tonight, it’s going to be you, Rae, Sykkuno, Toast and Corpse. You all greet each other and exchange pleasantries.

“Hey Y/N, how was your time off?” Toast is the first to ask about your 2 weeks off from streaming.

“Thank you hun, it was pretty nice. I got a lot of things done, and I can soon tell the date of my next project.” You tease your audience.

The rest have already played the Raft before, leading to them giving you a chaotic introduction to the game. Leaving you more confused about what you are supposed to do than before.

“Rae babe, am I supposed to know what’s going on?” You don’t have to wait long, as Rae immediately responds.

“No. Not at all.” Resulting in a laugh from everyone.

You join into the game, and slowly start figure the controls out. Mostly you are just following Sykkuno around and trying to do the same things as him, yet somehow you do it worse.

Sykkuno ends up falling off the raft and gets killed by a shark before long.

“Sykkuno nooo! Not my sweetheart this world is too cruel!” You act dramatic, before he respawns.

“Does this mean I’m a ghost now? Because I will haunt you for pushing me off.” Sykkuno pokes right back at you.

You share another laugh before getting back to trying to make the Raft as big and confusing as ever. Some more time goes by as you head onto your 4th island this stream.

“Hey Corpse, can you get an axe from the Raft when you get onto the island? I forgot to bring one.” You don’t think much of not giving him a nickname like everyone has one. Well you do, more so you can’t bring yourself to give him one, because you are currently harboring a crush for him. Which means calling him an affectionate nickname, feels like lying to yourself about a future that will never happen.

This goes on for the rest of the stream, nobody mentions it, but in the goodbye section of the stream, everyone is on edge but you. The rest convinced that you have something against Corpse, including Corpse. Especially Corpse.

You stay in voice chat so the 5 of you can bid goodbye without your individual audiences listening in.

“Hey thanks for today, it was a good stream!” You cheerfully tell the others.

“Y/N, what was that?” Rae is the first to ask, bringing the issue the rest has had on their minds since the beginning of the stream.

“What was what?”

“What was not giving Corpse a nickname? You give everyone a nickname. If you look on twitter, there are already people asking if you don’t like him.”

“Rae, I can talk for myself, you don’t have to give me a nickname Y/N.” Corpse adds onto the conversation, now that you think about it, the upbeat mood of the stream has started to falter out towards the end of the stream.

“I’m so sorry Corpse! It wasn’t meant like that not at all! I don’t hate you!” You are quick to respond. If you could see Rae right now, you would be able to see her face, realizing what was going on.

“You know what, how about we leave the two of you to talk it out? Yeah? Yeah.” She quickly kicks Toast and Sykkuno from the call and then leaves herself. Before any of you get a chance to say goodbye.

“So… We are alone now…” You try to break the silence.

Corpse doesn’t respond, he can feel himself starting to go through the worst-case scenarios. That you hate him, and don’t want to be friends anymore. He thought the two of you had become close.

“Corpse I’m sorry, I hope you didn’t start to doubt yourself. I didn’t mean to make you feel like this, I’m so sorry. I’ll release a statement or something. I can fix this. I promise.” You have already thrown yourself straight into panic mode, especially after what Rae said about people thinking you hate Corpse.

Corpse can’t help sigh of relief when you start apologizing, “Y/N it’s alright, but why don’t I have a nickname?” Corpse is unsure if this is alright to ask, he wants to know, the two of you have been friends for close to half a year now, and you usually have a nickname for people with in your first time streaming or playing with them.

“I don’t think that’s something we should talk about over discord.” That was how the conversation dried up, a bit of small talk happened before the two of you bid your goodbyes. Leaving you frustrated over knowing Corpse would only think the worst.

The air between you two had thickened after that day, and everyone you ended up streaming with could feel it, while the two of you could hide it from your fans, your friends was a whole other thing. They had caught on to the two of you not being on the best speaking terms.

You wanted to explain yourself but felt that it was better to do face to face. He wanted to tell you he missed talking like the two of you used to do.

Then a chance finally came, Rae was hosting a party, and you were invited. Your first reaction to hearing it was asking if Corpse was coming too. Rae had told you he said yes, so you booked a ticket to the big city from your small town in Colorado. You would be able to stay at the collab house with Rae.

You were excited to meet the others again, you had only been able to meet up with Rae twice before. So, this was a good chance for you to talk to the others some more, and not to mention come clean to Corpse.

You settled down in Rae’s room quickly, and greeted everyone as you walked around the house, waiting for more guest to arrive. You kept looking for Corpse. Making you not the greatest conversational partner as you barely listened, only agreeing, and disagreeing on the right times.

You notice his mop of black curls quickly when he comes into the living room. You immediately leave the conversation you were barely listening to, you try to wave him down, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed you.

You head his way instead; he’s currently talking a bit to Rae probably thanking her for inviting him. You stand a bit to the side not saying anything just waiting for your turn, as to not interrupt their conversation. Rae points to you, and wave you down. You try to act surprised, not just having stood there like a stalker and watched their entire conversation.

“Hey,” you smile at him, and he returns it.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Rae walks away, totally not having planned this so the two of you could meet. Rae had after the awkward conversation gotten the real reason out of you why you didn’t want to give Corpse a nickname. While she had enjoyed teasing you about your crush, she had never spoken a word to anyone else about it.

“So… we finally meet.” You try to break the ice.

“We do, do you want to go outside?”

“Oh, thank god, yes.” You follow after him, not noticing Rae pointing the two of you leaving to go outside to Sykkuno that she might have told your secret to by accident.

You find a bench and settle down, the weather being pretty decent, no wind to be felt.

“You said, you wanted to talk about what has been bothering you face to face?” Corpse gets straight to the thing that’s on both of your minds.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about it, I really am, I’m sorry, I know I’ve been cryptic and-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, we’re friends. Don’t apologize for existing.” Corpse reassures you.

“Yeah, sorry about that… I don’t know how to tell you this, and I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I mean that. And I realized I had caught feelings for you, it wasn’t on purpose I swear.”

“Why would-”

“Please let me finish before you ask anything.” You look at him pleading. He nods to let you continue. “I didn’t want to give you a nickname, and I know that’s my entire brand at this point… I just couldn’t get myself to call you something affectionate and keep it platonic in my mind. Because I wanted more, I still do. I don’t want to just be your friend, and I don’t want to ruin what we have, because you are a good friend, one of my best.” You rub your hands over your face.

You can feel the awkwardness radiating off Corpse.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” You get off the bench and prepare to walk away when Corpse grabs around your wrist.

“Didn’t I tell you not to apologize for existing.” You can’t help but laugh a dry laugh, you can feel the tears ready themselves as you wait for the inevitable rejection.

“Corpse, don’t drag this out. I like you okay, and I don’t want to be more hurt over it.” You try to tug your hand to yourself.

“What if I like you too?” He might not have been as in tune with his feelings as you had. However, he had come to realize he had feelings for you. They had crept up on him in the form of suddenly missing you whenever you hung up after talking. They had come at him slow and over a long time, while your feeling had washed over you as a tsunami coursing through your heart.

“Corpse, it’s okay, just let me down gently.” You take you free hand to dry the tears that are now seemingly escaping.

“No Y/N, what if I like you too. Because I do. I like to hear your laugh, I like when we talk so far into the night I can hear your roommates alarm go off. I like when you say my name, even if I was you would give me a nickname.” He can’t help but chuckle. “ I like you Y/N.”

Your tears are now streaming out not of sadness but of the pure happy feeling of having your feeling returned from the guy you never thought who would return them.

He pulls you into a hug.

You can’t help but whisper to him.

“I like you Corpse.”

“I like you too Y/N.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

#corpse husband #corpse husband x y/n #corpse #corpse husband fanfic #corpse fic #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband fic #gender neutral!reader #delias own writing #corpse husband imagine

855 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

Hey Clyde, did you check out Wonder Egg Priority at all? The first ep is super promising, but the series as a whole is one of those real fascinating disasters from a story and a production standpoint that might be up your alley as a thing to pick apart haha.

I’d warn that it’s also reeeeal offensive and this generally gets worse as it goes though.

Hi, Phoenix! How are you and Cube doing?

Okay, I hadn't watched Wonder Egg Priority when I received your ask this morning. Now I have. In a fit of intense curiosity I settled down for a rare binge session and tore through all twelve episodes + OVA in a single sitting. It is now nearly 3:00am as I write this because I, oh so clearly, make fantastic life choices.

A question for you: what did I just watch?

The rest is going under a read more partly for spoilers, but more-so because WEP—and the summary I'm about to give, because I feel like I need to try and explain this to tumblr's faceless void for my own, dwindling sanity—comes with about every trigger warning under the sun. Seriously, if you are triggered by anything that we might think of as a "standard" trigger (meaning, not unique to you and your own experiences), best to proceed with caution.

Right! What the ever loving fuck happened in this show? Well, let's work through this chronologically. Two genius, frat boy brothers (I get their names mixed up so I'm not even gonna bother) are locked in their apartment and closely monitored because of Super Secret Science Research. Even though, I think, they're the ones who created this company. Not important! What is important is that they're bored enough to create an AI for funsies, thinking of her as their daughter and letting her name herself Frill. Frill is the perfect, cutesy, also genius child who has a habit of popping her lips — which the camera focuses on in an incredibly creepy fashion. One day Brother #1 (the hot one) falls in love with a random woman we know nothing about and Frill gets jealous.

"Jealous in a general sense?" you ask, thinking this show is in any way normal. "Like, just of her Dad giving attention to someone else?"

"No," I respond, patting your hand. "Jealous because she's in love with him." Which, beyond the subject matter itself, comes completely out of nowhere. Frill has a line about what you'd do if some woman stole your husband away. I, fool that I was, briefly considered that these two guys were lovers, not brothers. Oh no. They're brothers. Frill just considers Dad #1 to be her "husband."

So, in true evil AI fashion, she murders the wife, leaving only her newly born child behind. Who is a daughter.

Uh oh.

Dad #1 locks Frill in a coffin-esque hole in the basement and goes on with his life. Things are great! Until years later when the daughter reveals that she has fallen in love with her uncle (Dad #2 to Frill). She knows (somehow??) that both her dad and her uncle loved her mom, so if the loser uncle will just wait a few years he can marry her instead! He brushes her off, but the next day she’s found dead of an apparent suicide.

Realizing that this was somehow Frill’s doing, he marches down to the basement and confronts the murderous child they’ve had locked up for years. She’s now surrounded by screens in, again, true creep AI fashion. How did she get all this while she was locked up? Oh, just the three bug girls she created as friends prior to killing the wife. They’re devoted slaves, I guess. So the uncle says enough of this insanity and seemingly sets Frill on fire.

OH and Frill’s subtitled dialogue also puts “uncle” in quotation marks, implying that the daughter was always Dad #2’s??

Anyway, both brothers are now super obsessed with death and claim that they think Frill has had a hand in lots of girls’ suicides, even now after her own death. This is brought into question later when it’s revealed that they might have just concocted this scheme to try and bring back their daughter. I’m really not sure. Regardless, they use hand-wavey science to create eggs that I guess contain the souls of young girls who have committed suicide, then they sucker in other young girls who have lost people to suicide to try and rescue their loved ones in a dream world, saving others along the way. A tomboyish girl, Momoe, lost a classmate who admitted to loving her, but who Momoe rejected. Rika, a former junior idol, used and rejected an overweight fan only to learn later that she’d starved herself to death. Neiru, the 14yo president of some science company (yup) was attacked by her sister before she jumped off a bridge. Finally Ai, our protagonist, is a victim of bullying who managed to make friends with a single girl, Koito, who then jumped from their school building for unknown reasons. They’re all given the chance to bring these individuals back to life, provided they protect other victims of suicide by defeating the monstrous traumas that drove them to that act in the first place.

And you know what? That concept was great. However, the execution ranges from “Okay, that was pretty good for an anime. Kudos there” to “That’s the most offensive thing I’ve seen in my life.” Needless to say, unpacking all the battles they fight would take a lot more than this already absurd summary. Basically, if you can think of something horrible to happen to young girls (and one trans guy whose existence in that egg undermines the whole message of the episode), there’s an attempt to tackle it here.

During all this the four girls become friends and Ai works through her suspicions about Mr. Sawaki, a teacher at her school. What’s going on with Mr. Sawaki? Uh… everything! He’s somehow connected to Koito’s death, he’s dating Ai’s mom, and Ai apparently loves him too because her friends say so, even though this is never actually addressed and she barely interacts with him. It’s all quite the complication.

In time though the girls complete their “mission” of bringing their loved ones back to life. Rika and Momoe manage it first, only to find that Frill’s bug-girl lackeys have arrived to kill them. Why? Because that’s what Frill does, I guess. Momoe’s crocodile familiar (cute animals the girls were gifted to help them fight) takes a killing blow for her and the bug-lady then proceeds to carve up his corpse and force feed it to Momoe. Fantastic!! Building off of that, the next bug-lady who Rika encounters kills her turtle too, following in the footsteps of her bug-sister by, presumably, forcing her to eat parts of its head. Ai refuses to sacrifice her familiar to stay alive, but luckily the suicide she was protecting turns out to be herself from a parallel universe (that's a thing now!) and she takes the killing blow herself, which is done by pulling out the eye she’s sensitive about (she has heterochromia.) So parallel Ai passes on (again?) and the three girls don’t work through this trauma at all, instead becoming more traumatized through the realization that the loved ones they brought back no longer remember them. They’re alive, but the relationship they all had with them is dead.

It’s about this point that the main storyline wraps up and I’m relieved that there’s an OVA to finish things off. Surely they can somehow bring this all together in 45 minutes.

…25 minutes of that OVA is recap.

So with only about 20 minutes left, we learn that Neiru, the only one to not complete her mission yet, has mysteriously gone missing. It turns out she was an AI/clone/something all along, made to replace her sister and, presumably, that’s what caused the whole stabbing-suicide incident. She successfully brings her sister back, but stays behind in the dream world because Frill promises her she can become human. How is Frill here when she’s dead? How will Neiru become human? Isn’t Frill the “temptation of death” or whatever? There are no answers. A flashback finally reveals that Koito was having a relationship with a teacher at another school, he committed suicide, she transferred, she tried the same thing with Mr. Sawaki, he kept refusing her advances, and finally while threatening suicide to get his attention, she accidentally fell.

(So why was she in the suicide egg if it was an accident??)

Except, all this information comes through Mr. Sawaki himself, there’s a whole subplot about whether he’s really a villain, or if Ai is just making him into one, and this show might as well be titled How Much Pedophilia Can We Put into One Anime? So make of that what you will.

A dead character randomly shows up, but it's fine because she's actually just a version from a parallel world. How did she get here? Why is she here? Lol, it's cute that you think these are answered.

Rika, the character who cuts and almost committed suicide halfway through the show, breaks down saying how much she misses her dead loved ones, right after her friends refused to let her go on another mission that would surely end in her death and… that’s it. That’s all we get about her.

Momoe too, though she’s hopefully just vibing somewhere with that longed-for boyfriend.

Ai transfers schools and then one day randomly remembers that she loves Neiru and rushes back to start cracking eggs again because that will? Somehow?? Let her see Neiru???

When I say there are too many unanswered questions to possibly list here I really, really mean it.

Finally, in a personal attack on me, the protagonist with a name that is literally AI is not in any way an artificial intelligence.

And that’s it! Congratulations, you now “understand” WEP. And see, the funny thing is that the off-the-rails, bat-shit crazy aspects kind of catch you off guard? Yeah, the first episode is fantastic. In fact, I think I got through about six episodes thinking that this was a solid, if at times really messed up anime, but I was willing to shrug off a lot of stuff due solely to the amount of sensitive material they were attempting to cover (which is always quite difficult to do). Probably the only reason I was able to binge so fast was because the first half of the series was so engaging. The characters are charming. The animation is GORGEOUS. There's actually a ton of good here that is also worth yelling about. But then the plot comes in like a freight train and I was left staring dumbfounded at my screen as more and more insanity kept happening. Having watched the "explanations" I am now more confused about the show I just saw.

Phoenix, if you’ve bothered to read this rambling, 3:00am rant: thank you. I think? Idk if I should actually be thanking you or cursing you for tuning me into this, but it was definitely an experience, that’s for sure lol.

I'm off to bed now RIP the chance of having normal dreams ✌️

#mymetas

40 notes · View notes

sophiashortcake · 4 years

Text

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

previous ❀ next ❀ series masterlist

𝟎𝟒. it can’t get any worse

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

On the bright side, your day couldn’t get any worse.

With the rejected confession blasted all over twitter, you opted to turn off your phone to ignore the piling notifications, which meant you missed several missed calls and texts from your mother. It was a shock to say the least when you were greeted with your bags packed, and your mother dragging you out the house.

Your mother slammed the door to the car shut as she settled into the driver’s seat.

“25 years, and he throws it all away for his secretary!”

“Why aren’t we kicking him out, he’s the one that cheated,” you muttered, clicking your seatbelt in.

“Believe me, I wish I could do that, but the house is in his name, not mine,” she grumbled as she turned on the ignition, “It should’ve been a red flag for me when he didn’t want to sign the house together.”

“You don’t deserve this, mom,” you frowned.

She gave you a tight-lipped smile which was a poor attempt to convince you everything was alright, but you knew better. She turned her attention away back out of the driveway. You sighed, pressing your head to the window, watching your home, or your now old home, slowly grow more distant as you drove off.

“So, how was school today?”

You flinched. You had nearly forgotten about the confession with all that happened at home.

Well, mom, I confessed to my crush today, who ended up being an asshole, had my letter graded (not to mention it was a D-), had my rejection plastered all over twitter, and now I’m a laughing stock in about every school in Miyagi Prefecture.

“Oh, just… the usual,” you muttered, your mom didn’t need to hear about your heartbreak when she was dealing with her own.

“So, where are we staying? A hotel?” You asked, attempting to change the topic.

“We’re going to live with one of my old friends, Akane, until I can save enough money for our own place,” she explained. “She has the space, she has a guest room and her oldest just moved out for university.”

“She has kids?”

“Two sons, but I’ve never met them. One should be a freshman in college, and the other should be about your age.”

The car drive was fairly short, as you pulled into the driveway of the house. Immediately, a blonde woman bounded out the home with a bright smile plastered on her face.

“Akane!” Your mother squealed, enveloping her in a hug.

“Hayami, I haven’t seen you in forever!” She chirped, returning the hug. She turned to you, “and you must be Y/N!”

“Yes, thank you for letting us stay with you,” you replied, politely bowing.

“It’s no problem at all! How about we get your things inside?”

The three of you took your belongings inside the house as your mother and Akane chatted, trying to catch up on lost time. Akane brought you to your new room, which was previously her oldest son’s room.

“I apologize for not having more help with your bags,” she sighed. “My husband is usually at work until late, my oldest just moved out, and my youngest is still at his school club right now.”

“Oh, don’t worry! I can handle it by myself.”

“My youngest is coming home soon, I’ll make sure to send him up so he can help you unpack and introduce himself.”

You nodded, and thanked Akane again for her hospitality before she left the room.

You busied yourself for the next hour by unpacking and putting away your things, trying not to let your thoughts dwell on how shitty of a day it’s been.

Your back was turned to the door when you heard footsteps approach, noticeably heavier than Akane’s, so you assumed it was her son she was talking about.

Turning around, “Hey, thanks for letting me stay here, I’m-“

You stifled a shriek.

Either you had done something horrible in your past life to deserve this, or God had a sick sense of humor because standing at the door was Tsukishima Kei.

It couldn’t get any worse? Oh yeah, it definitely could.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: akane has always wanted a daughter. 👀

𝐚/𝐧: WE’RE FINALLY STARTING THE REAL STORYLINE 😌 shit is only downhill from here folks, the circus has begun! also please ignore how shitty the writing is

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃!): @sinistersith @moronsuke @yougivemebutterfliess @saturnfarie @peachiikichu @what-happens-inside-the-box @nonoszrk @cece-lives-here @belli-jelly @cvlliesstuff @ack-aashi @mindofess @ysasian @natsukitakama @shimy-deko @irenevyas @vigroamajiki @toaster-stick @little-dark-empress @h0ngh0ngh0ng @freyafolkvangr @winunk @estmagnifique @thechaosoflonging @ilovesupersoldiers @simpletype @burntcilantro @ryryryleigh @animatedrapture @intothatbluebluesky @resetrestartandreplay

#[🍰] — play date #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #hq smau #hq x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei smau #tsukki #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukki x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukki smau #tsukishima smau #tsukishima x you #tsukki x you #tsukishima kei x you #haikyuu #hq

396 notes · View notes

backtothestart02 · 4 years

Text

Hazy - 5/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: It’s finally here! I hope you enjoy!!

Commissioned by @andie1223

*Many thanks to @valeriemperez for beta’ing.

...

Chapter 5 -

“Stop squirming,” Linda ordered, and he tried again to stand still. “Everything is going to fine.”

She took a step back to inspect her handywork, then smiled.

“There. Your tie is perfect.”

He looked over her ensemble again, a plunging neckline, sparkling navy, and interminably high shoes. Shimmering diamonds glistened in her ears. Her hair was swept up in an updo. She looked absolutely gorgeous, but all Barry could think was that it was coming on too strong.

“Are you sure that is the dress you want to wear?”

Linda frowned and looked down at it. “Yes.” She looked up at him. “I want to show Scott what he’s missing.”

“Right. I get that. But um…”

“But what?”

“Well, it is still a work event.”

“It’s a gala, Barry Allen. Yes, Iris and I will be working the floor trying to snag quotes from people of importance, but there will be hors d'oeuvres and dancing and live music. I wouldn’t be surprised if Iris wears something just as daring.”

Barry felt his ears get hot. The image of a form-fitting dress with a plunging neckline and thigh-high hem made his pants tighten. It hadn’t been that long, but he already ached to get inside her. And it wouldn’t be long, if he was her fiancé. But he wasn’t. Which meant if Iris wore something daring, it would be for Eddie, and that made his blood boil.

“Hello!” Linda snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Earth to Barry?”

He blinked and looked down at her. “What?”

She shook her head at him.

“Are you ready for this?”

“Yeah, of course,” he lied through his teeth. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re a terrible liar and haven’t seen Iris in the – what has it been – two weeks since your fight?”

He frowned. “It wasn’t a fight,” he lied again.

She raised her eyebrows. “Whatever you say, Mr. Allen.”

She straightened his tie one more time, grabbed her clutch and started to head for the door. With a restrained sigh, Barry followed, only to be stopped in his tracks by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He frowned and fished it out, his eyes going wide when he saw who was calling him.

“Who is it?” Linda asked, and he saw she was staring at him a little impatiently when he looked up at her.

“It’s Iris,” he said and saw the look of panic cross her face as he raised the phone to his ear.

“No! No, no, no, no, Barry Allen, do not answer that phone! We have not talked about what you’d say if-”

“Hey, Iris,” he said into the phone, trying not to sound too excited as he swatted Linda’s following form away from him. He walked down the hall into the bathroom and shut the door, so he could continue the conversation in private.

“Hi, Barry,” came Iris’ smooth, soft voice. “Am I…Am I interrupting something? I thought I heard a voice in the background?”

“Hmm? Oh, that was nothing. Just a silly commercial. What’s up?”

He tensed when he heard the low scoff on the other end of the line.

“Iris?” he asked cautiously.

“What’s up? What’s up? Barry, what’s up is we got into a fight two weeks ago, and I haven’t heard from you since.” Her voice broke. “Do you really not want to be my friend anymore?”

Barry’s heart sank.

“Did you…Have you called me?”

He’d never have ignored one of her calls, even if he was in a mood when he last left her.

“No…I was expecting you to call me.”

He frowned. “What for?”

“To apologize!”

He felt tension building inside of him.

“For what? For not wanting to date someone else when I’m still in love with you?”

“Barry,” she warned.

“I’m not going to apologize for that. I can’t.”

“How about telling me flat out you don’t want to be my friend anymore, Barry? How about apologizing for that?”

“How can we be friends, Iris? Tell me. Your husband has more or less issued a restraining order on me. He suspects you’re cheating if we’re even in the same room together!”

She sighed, aggravated. “That’s why I suggested-”

“I don’t regret a single thing I did on your wedding day,” Barry said, even though he still couldn’t remember the event except with flashes here and there. “That kiss was worth risking everything.”

Silence filled the other end of the line.

“Look, I have to go. We can talk about this…some other time.”

“Barry-”

“Goodbye, Iris.”

He hung up the phone, took a couple deep breaths, washed his face and opened the door, only to find Linda standing there with her arms crossed and the look in her eyes all-knowing.

“I know…I know…” he started. “I shouldn’t have taken the call.”

She shook her head at him. “Tunnel vision. Completely.” She looked his miserable self over and appeared to relax. “You’re forgiven, obviously. Ready to go?”

He nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They made their way down the hall and out the door. Linda locked up and shut the door behind them.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked once they got outside and were in her car.

He shook his head. “You were right about one thing, though.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“It was a fight.”

She winced. “I’m sorry, Barry.”

“Not your fault.”

“No, but…I compared our situations as the same, and yours is definitely much worse.”

He shot her a glare as they got inside the car.

“Thanks,” he said dryly.

“You’re welcome,” she said, beaming as she started the car.

Looking for traffic and finding none, Linda turned onto the street.

“Jealous vibes, here we come.”

Barry leaned his head back in his seat and looked out the window.

“Here we come.”

…

The gala was a glittering spectacle if Barry had ever seen one. The hall was huge with high ceilings and subtle but tasteful decorations from an array of sparkling, little lights to blooming flowers perfectly placed around the room. The aroma of hors d'oevres and champagne filled the air, and the people gathering were all dressed to the nines.

“Still think I dressed out of place?” Linda teased beside him.

He managed to smirk as he looked her over again.

“No, I guess not.”

“Hey, look, there’s Iris!” she whisper-yelled to get Barry’s attention.

“Where?” he asked immediately.

“Over there. By the flowers on the far side.”

“But she’s alone.” He frowned. “You said she’d bring Eddie with her.”

Linda frowned too. “I thought she would.”

Standing away from everyone else in the corner, Iris looked spectacular but miserable. Her shoulders were slumped. She didn’t even head over to the table to get food or champagne. She had her recorder in her hand, but it almost looked like she couldn’t stomach to do her job tonight, even looking as amazing as she did.

Barry felt terrible.

“I really should not have taken that call.”

“Hey, it’s okay. There’s still a way to make it up to her.”

He scoffed and turned to look at Linda. “How?”

“When she sees the two of us dancing, she’ll connect the dots and think you decided to take her advice after all.”

“Not after that phone call, she won’t.”

Linda frowned. “Why? What did you say?”

“I…uh…” He shifted on his feet.

“Barry.”

“I may have told her again how I couldn’t date someone else while I was still in love with her.”

Linda shut her eyes and groaned inwardly.

“We really should have discussed phone calls at some point over the last two weeks.”

“Yeah, well, we didn’t, and now I’m a crappy friend whose made her night miserable.”

“I thought you weren’t friends at all. I thought you didn’t want to be.”

“Only because I want to be more than friends. I’ll never stop being her friend.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this…It could down right ruin everything, but…why don’t you tell her that?”

He ran a hand over his face.

“What about Scott? Aren’t we here to make him jealous too?”

“No worries,” she said proudly. “I’m going to make my interview rounds first and then do some flirting. I’m pretty good at that.”

“Linda, if he’s not interested, flirting will be a turn-off.”

“He was interested the last time I flirted. Maybe he will be this time too. And if that doesn’t work, you and I will be dancing before the end of the night. That’ll be something to keep his eyes on if he rejects me yet again.”

“If you’re sure…”

“Go. Iris isn’t going to have any success gathering her confidence for interviews until she’s dealt with what’s holding her back tonight. And that, my friend, is you.”

She patted his shoulder, went to get a glass of champagne and pulled out her recorder as she set off to mingle with the crowd.

Champagne isn’t a bad idea, Barry thought to himself. He went to the table and gathered two glasses before setting off to sneak behind Iris, who had yet to mingle herself with the people there.

“You look like you need a drink,” he whispered into her ear, not expecting her to jump or drop her recorder on the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“No, it’s quite all right. You’re probably right. I do need to-” She turned and looked at who’d been talking to her. “Barry?” Her jaw dropped and forcibly she shut it. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m with Linda.”

She blinked. “I’m sorry…what?”

“Linda Park, your co-worker.”

“I know who Linda is. I just got the impression you weren’t with anyone, let alone one of my co-workers.”

Was that a hint of jealousy he detected?

“Oh, I’m not with her, with her. Not like that, anyway. We bumped into each other a little while back, and she asked me if I’d be her plus one at this event. I didn’t have anything else going on, so I figured why not?”

“I see.”

“You’re suspicious.”

“Just intrigued.” She glanced at the drinks in his hands. “Is one of those still for me?”

“What?” He looked down. “Oh, yeah, of course. Here you go.” He handed one to her. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

Despite herself, a little smile shone through.

“Thank you, Barry.”

Her drink was gone in less than a minute.

“I’m surprised you came over here,” she said.

He looked at her quizzically. “Why’s that?”

She was amused. “I was under the impression you wanted nothing to do with me.”

He sighed. “About that…”

She waited.

“I’m sorry, Iris, about tonight. I’ll always want to be your friend. I don’t want you to think I’m putting some sort of ultimatum on you. Not having you in my life at all? It’s impossible.”

The relief was obvious in the release of tension from her shoulders.

“Are you sure, Barry? That’s what you really want?”

“Well.” He downed his drink. “I can’t have what I really want.”

She swallowed.

“But if you can have what you want, and I can be a part of that, then yes, it’s what I want.”

She smiled tremulously. “Thank you, Barry.”

He took her empty glass from her hand and set it with his on a nearby table, then held his hand out to her. She frowned as she looked down at it, not understanding.

“Dance with me.”

The corner of her lips twitched.

“That doesn’t sound like a question.”

“Because it isn’t.” He held out his hand more dramatically. “Dance with me.”

She laughed lightly, and all remaining tension evaporated into thin air. She took his hand and let him lead her onto the dance floor. There were a few couples already dancing the waltz to the beautiful live orchestra playing on the far side of the room. Taking both of her hands now, Barry extended their arms with one set and held the other close.

“You remember?” he asked.

“From those ballroom classes my dad made us take in high school? Of course.”

“He said it was a necessity to life.”

“Guess we should be thanking him now.”

Iris smiled and moved with him as he drew them into their first wide circle.

“You remember too, I see.”

He smirked. “Of course. Too many lessons not to.”

She chuckled and swayed with him, silent for a long while, getting lost in the dance and then his eyes when she finally looked up.

“You look very handsome, Barry.”

“Linda fixed my tie several times.”

She looked amused. “I bet.”

“You bet? What’s that supposed to mean?” he teased.

She laughed. “You’ve never been particularly good at it.”

He faked a gasp. “I’m offended.”

She rolled her eyes, still smiling. “If you were offended, you wouldn’t still be here.”

“I’m not that offended.” He rolled his eyes.

She giggled, actually giggled, and he felt alive again. How could she not feel something between them? He thought. How could she not?

“Thanks for this, Barry. I really needed it. Especially after Eddie…” She trailed off.

“Why isn’t he here, Iris?” he asked softly.

She swallowed. “We got in a fight,” she said. “He didn’t want to come after that.”

“Did he catch you…on the phone with me?” he asked hesitantly.

“No.” She shook her head. “The fight was before that. I was calling you because…well…I needed my best friend.”

He wanted to kick himself.

“Iris, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”

“I know,” she said quickly. “Can we just forget about it and enjoy the night?”

“Don’t you have some interviews to get to? Linda said-”

“Yeah, I do. But I want to feel better first. Can you make me feel better, Barry?”

Staring deep into her eyes, he’d never wanted to kiss her so badly.

“I can make you feel better, Iris.”

The sound of the side door suddenly opening and slamming shut was a distant echo covered up by the orchestra’s crescendo into the second half of their majestic piece. Barry was none the wiser to it, and neither was Iris.

...

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.

#westallen #fanfiction #westallen fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #hazy #chapter 5 #fic commission #for andie1223

43 notes · View notes

noobsomeexagerjunk · 4 years

Text

thoughts on starry after multiple listens

(dated July 8, 2020 because i might make another one)

Edit: I SHOULD FACT CHECK MORE

the Starry soundtrack is as impressionist as the painters it invokes by energy alone, which is impressive given the style of music used (of which i’m fine with, but not partial to)

the Prologue does this right off the bat

the people of Monmartre are very critical of the rest of France and I adore it

i can feel theo’s overwhelment in Impress Me

Impress Me does a wonderful job at introducing the setting of the show

that song is a ball of pulsating yearning—no wait that’s the whole show

Theo got so stressed he walked blindly into Madame Segatori’s cafe

learning that the Le Tambourin was named as such due to its tambourine aesthetic via Vincent’s portrait of Segatori is just incredible to me; the table is shaped like a tambourine

“If Paris is the world, Monmartre is Bethlehem; and art is our Amen” sounds so powerful

A New Horizon is so warm

i expect Theo and Vincent to be very cuddly with each other everytime they interact

“dream with me, dear brother” is the energy of this song

french wheat fields will forever haunt me because of this damn musical

*insert Do You Like the Color of the Sky? post here*

like, so much emphasis to the sky

Vincent’s dreaming leaking into Theo’s trading practice surely must be a sight to see

chain imagery hits hard after hearing Wheat Fields/Finale Ultimo

in this yellow house, we dream of freedom

“should I really take this giant risk?” “brother, I took a giant risk coming here—fuck yeah do it!”

United in Distaste reeks of Vincent’s intimidation—it has new kid in school energy and I am living for it

Vincent coming to Monmartre (and when he arrives in Arles) like “Hey, I’m new in town, and it gets worse,”

Bernard has apparently spent enough time with Theo to be able to identify Vincent by frowning alone

Rude of Gauguin to yoink Vincent’s painting like that; Segatori immediately hangs it tho—

Gauguin sounds like he’s going to corrupt anyone who approaches him—dude announces his horny nature during his introduction

Gauguin IS a savage and a whore and the best thing about that is that he knows it; even better knowing the vision of his costume

Segatori’s displeasure throughout the song implies that the artists that frequent her cafe also argue amongst themselves frequently

“keep in mind that we’re academic rejects, Vincent”

with the way Degas, Pissarro, and Morisot tease at Gauguin (noting that Gauguin, Bernard, and Toulouse-Lautrec are together in a later song), it sounds like they’re are hurling insults from a separate tambourine table

Toulouse-Lautrec sounds dramatic; Bernard sounds like he’s not sure where he is artistically—both are a mood

Of the post-impressionist table, the only one retaliating with genuine insults is Toulouse-Lautrec; Bernard and Gauguin only end up defending themselves while Toulouse was ready to tear down Degas and Morisot

Pissarro IS old (at this period in time in the musical) damn

Morisot is unyielding with her insults, “speaking of size—“ holy shit oh no

i reiterate—why is Toulouse-Lautrec the only one actually speaking in a French accent; almost everyone there is French

since I’m aggressively referring to him, I think Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec merits a musical of his own, and that’s based on what first learned about him when I first listened to Starry

by extension, also Berthe Morisot

Monmartre’s artists be like “We’re very critical of ourselves and each other, and while that’s worth being intimidated by, don’t be intimidated by us! What do you have to bring to the table, foreign painter?”

Something poetic about how what Vincent wants being what all the artists want hereby making him a member of their squad is so warm to me—galleries are gravity INDEED

“We will embrace the madness we design, or lose our mind,” IS THIS FORSHADOWING BECAUSE IT FUCKING SOUNDS LIKE IT

“i am loving this! YES, GET ANGRY!” if only i can identify who said this

Something After All is directed towards Vincent, right? It better be, I lack context

Theo’s yearning is so relatable and I fear not being able to fulfill it

bless Kelly and Matt for giving Jo so much depth in Enlightenment

apparently she deadass learned English for the purpose of translating the letters she had compiled??? yo i love that

poetic how Jo invokes making a legacy since she’s the one who actually preserves her brother-in-law’s legacy (and by extension, herself and her husband’s legacies)

at first listen, i immediately drew a comparison to Hamilton’s Eliza; Jo is better both musically and literally, given that Vincent van Gogh is far more relevant than Alexander Hamilton will ever be, even with LMM’s musical

not trying to start beef, just an observation

Jo’s yearning is also such a mood

fire, light, and road imagery being invoked huh

it is by this point i’ve to the realization that the reasons one goes to Monmartre that was cited in Impress Me tie in very well to the individual characters’ desires in this show

Where Are We Going? goes so hard ugh yes

“I need a stronger strategy to seize my immortality!” Gauguin’s incredible ambition is the root of his dissatisfaction; doesn’t help that he’s impulsive both in the musical and IRL

Toulouse prioritizes integrity and Bernard prioritizes progression—I wonder what this means for their characters in the show

Toulouse and Bernard calling Gauguin out on his known shitty behaviors feels like they’ll be problems Vincent will have to deal with in Act 2, when they live together

this is where Gauguin leaves for Martinique, right???

which one is the act 1 closer, really??? The Sower or The Road??? help me please

everyone in town is really concerned for Vincent

it wams me how much Segatori believes in him

Bernard’s right, Vincent van Gogh’s artstyle IS a melting pot

learning that Toulouse-Lautrec capitalized on his art during the peak of his career really adds weight to his concerns on Vincent’s inability to sell

i like to imagine the everyone’s in the gallery during The Sower

Theo and Jo’s relationship progressing as Vincent’s works don’t sell hits upon realization

Theo falling hard when he learns that he and Jo yearn for the same thing tho

recontextualizing the imagery that Vincent found beauty in into imagery that demonstrates his person is just mighty good of Kelly and Matt

then again, so much of his person is in the artwork to begin with

“and everyone knows your reap what you sow.” w o a h!!!

The Road starts like a dramatization of one of Vincent’s breakdowns and how he copes with them, or perhaps this starts after one??? The opening verses suggest a lot

also ties his road to his dream of freedom with what i believe is his travel to Arles

“North, South, East, West—navigate from inside you,” = “With conscience as my compass,”

“i am guided towards the night” this Vincent knows the answer but is so clearly far from its reach and is desperately trying to figure out how to

soul of fire, crystal heart and blizzard-like brain; the man is passionate and everyone knows it

“Fascinating, but maybe just a little too soon,” sounds like that at this point, Toulouse-Lautrec and Bernard genuinely recognize and admire Vincent’s talents, but also understand that the world is still against him and that they have the experience to prove it

the “sunlight and storms” imagery always concern Theo, Jo, and Vincent’s relationship with each other

Gauguin popping up in this song with the compass imagery implies the show’s going to make him a pretty interesting foil to Vincent; this sounds like him traveling back to Paris, or at least him attempting to vibe in Martinique

this hurts when you remember what happens to Vincent

“curse of the gifted” is a phrase i am too afraid to understand

DYLAN SAUNDERS CAN SLAY ME WITH HIS VOICE

The Yellow House sounds yellow somehow

who clears their throat before writing a letter???

Gauguin’s frustration’s against Vincent’s admiration of him is amusing

sounds like Gauguin hasn’t found his “freedom” yet

Theo is one generous fellow

this arrangement lasts for only 2 months; given the apparent span of this musical, The Yellow House is a very “calm before the storm” song

wait a minute—

apparently, Vincent REALLY admired Gauguin and was so excited for his arrival at the yellow house

i fear the dramatization of their disagreements

“Don’t tell Theo I said that,” it amuses me how the van Gogh brothers’ relationship is so well-known to these painters

based on the gifs lurking, the ear incident WILL be dramatized and I am terrified for my heart on how it will be depicted

Sunlight and Storms quotes the original letter from Jo to Vincent surprisingly well (i attempted to read some—there’s so many! this was one of the first ones i came across)

this song hurts when it hits how little time Jo and Theo had together as a married couple

I am convinced a lot happened between Sunlight and Storms and On the Threshold of Eternity

this definitely was after a breakdown

i skip this song just so i don’t think about the obvious implications, i must confess

the meaning of “sunlight and storms” hits the hardest here

“we will not let your illness keep you from finding your freedom”

The Red Vinyard is so full of a brother’s love

this hits me, and i speak as an only child

“You’ve carried me more than you’ll ever know,” AH—

when Theo finally sees the new horizon, Vincent is seeing it too

and what Vincent saw he put on a fucking canvas

“i can see it—a new horizon” = “the sight of the starry night”

they say that at the time, not much was thought of the iconic painting

i could only wonder what might’ve happened between The Starry Night and Wheat Fields

all the piano motifs coming together in Wheat Fields/Finale Ultimo, just like that

“I’m ready for harvest time” is melodically similar to “The road is bright”, particularly when it’s just Vincent singing the line alone

despite the obvious, I don’t think I’ll grasp the meaning of the final song; i also skip this one so i don’t think about it

45 notes · View notes

jungshook69 · 3 years

Text

Cold heart

DISCLAIMER: This doesn’t represent the members’ actions or the army’s actions in any manner it’s pure fiction. This is an original work, do not copy.

WORD COUNT: 3.9K

PAIRING/S: Yoongi X female reader ; Hoseok X female reader

GENRE: Divorce au

WARNINGS: Mentions of cheating and divorce and angst.

SUMMARY: “He doesn’t love me anymore. I gave him my heart as a whole, only for him to break it in return. I never knew my life would turn out this way. I never knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do such a thing. But I was wrong. I knew I chose the wrong person, but it was too late.”

A/N: I was really happy seeing the love my first fanfic received. Honestly I didn’t expect more than one note on it, but was pleasantly surprised considering it’s my first time on here. Well hope you guys like it and it does well:) Also I’m sorry in advance if there’s any spelling errors:(

Y/N’s POV:

Another day, another dinner left cold. I gripped the plate on which the now cold steak lay and placed it in the fridge. I don’t know why I worked so hard to make it when I knew, he wouldn’t be home in time to enjoy it. I wrapped up my cold dinner, which I was planning to eat with him too, and placed it in the fridge. I walked over to the couch in the living room of the big empty house and sat by the fireplace waiting for my husband to return home. Before I knew it I was out like a light.

I woke up when I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as I felt goosebumps line the skin of my bare arms. The fire had died out and the lights were also out. I checked my phone to see the time, 2.00 AM. Was he not home yet? I walked up the stairs and saw Yoongi sleeping on the bed, still dawning his work attire. He must’ve been really tired.

I shuffled over and removed his socks and tie and watch. I’ve been his wife for 5 years now, stinky socks is something I’ve learned to deal with over time. I also sensed the reeking smell of alcohol from his breath. Must’ve gone to the bar with the guys from his office. At least he could’ve told me, then I wouldn’t have put so much effort into making him dinner. I unbuttoned his shirt, as I knew he liked to sleep comfortably. When I was folding his shirt and keeping his belongings away I noticed a bruise on his neck. I leaned over to take a closer look and realized what it was.

It was a hickey.

My eyes brimmed with tears as I held my breath to not make any noise. I entered the bathroom and sank to the floor, leaning against the door, burying my head in my knees. I knew this time would come at some point, I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.

Me and Yoongi met in university. He was my first love, and I really thought he would be my last. The last 5 years of marriage had been rough. I gave him all my love, but he was still cold and distant. Talking had reduced from chatting about literally everything to a simple “I’m going be late home from work” between us. I loved him unconditionally but I didn’t feel the same being returned.

Over the last year or so it had gotten worse. I once even found an earring in the back of his car, and he claimed that he had bought it as a present for me. He often came home smelling like women’s cologne but I didn’t question it. It wasn’t because I was naïve. It was because I loved him so much that I didn’t wanna let him go. But now my suspicions were confirmed.

I tried to desperately steady my breathing and stood up and looked in the mirror. I then reached over to the drawer and picked up the pregnancy test I has stashed away. I stared at the two lines etched onto it. I was going to break it to him tonight. He always used protection with me because he told me he didn’t want kids. But I guess that one night we had when he had launched himself at me after he came back drunk caused this. I didn’t care if it was an accident. Because I wanted a baby. I never really complained since he didn’t want one.

I was thinking about how to address the situation at hand. I needed to let him know. I decided that I would reveal everything to him at our anniversary dinner. And maybe question him about his hickey the same night too. I ended up sleeping in the guest room that night, because I didn’t wanna be anywhere near that lying man.

TIME SKIP: NEXT DAY

Yoongi had just left for work after eating only half of the eggs and sausages I had made him. I picked up my phone and called the one person in this world who cared about me, Yoongi’s friend, but who had grown closer to me now, Hoseok.

“Hey Y/N, good morning” his sweet voice greeted me.

“Hi Hobi” I replied.

“Wassup?”

“Ummm nothing… are you busy?”

“Actually no, I was just gonna head out and get some coffee”

“Oh perfect can you meet me at café xxx in 10 minutes, I wanna talk to you.”

“Sure… you okay?”

“yeah… I’ll see you there”

“Okay byee”

I grabbed my phone and straightened out my attire and headed out. I saw him waiting at a table and joined him there.

“Hi Y/N, what happened?” he asked immedietly.

“I’m pregnant.” I whispered.

“W-what?!” He said choking on his coffee.

“It’s true…”

“It’s Yoongi’s… right?”

“Yeah of course, who else’s would it be?”

“No it’s just, I thought you guys weren’t that close anymore…”

“Yeah but it happened…”

“You need to tell him Y/N I know he may seem cold, but maybe if you tell him— ”

“I think Yoongi’s cheating on me”

“WHAT?!” He accidently yelled.

“Hobi shush people are staring” I whisper-yelled at him.

“Sorry, but seriously what?!”

“I think its been happening for a year, they were always subtle things but after seeing a hickey on his neck last night…”

“I’m so sorry Y/N” he said, his eyes softening.

“It’s not your fault is it? But I am gonna confront him tonight.”

“If you ever need anything Y/N I’m just a phone call away…”

“Thank you so much Hobi I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Anything for you Y/N” He mumbled into his coffee cup.

I sipped on my coffee dreading to talk to him tonight.

TIME SKIP: SAME NIGHT

I waited. And waited. Like I always do. My pregnancy test was in my pocket. Dinner was served out on plates and the candle had almost completely melted away as I waited for him to arrive.

1 hour, nothing.

2 hours, nothing.

But luckily, I heard the familiar jingling of keys and the door opened to reveal a disheveled Yoongi. He made his way to the table and sat down in front of his plate without saying a word. He stared down at his plate. He didn’t reek of alcohol, so that was a good sign.

I didn’t spring the whole “Why are you late?” thing on him. Instead I asked, “Tired?”

“…” No words escaped Yoongi’s mouth.

“Well do you remember what today is? It’s our 6th anniversary!”

He didn’t say a word instead he got up from the table leaving the food untouched and opened his bag. He fished out a folder and placed it in front of me.

I grew curious and opened it to find a document inside. My heart stopped. My breath became short but in fear of harming the second heart beating in my stomach I steadied my breath.

There laid out in front of me were… divorce papers.

“Listen Y/N…” Yoongi spoke up “I’ve fallen in love with someone else…”

My heart shattered into a million pieces. I couldn’t fathom the words this man was uttering.

“I’ve been seeing someone else… behind your back for a year now… An- And she’s pregnant, and I cant just leave her alone, it’s my baby, so I’ve decided to raise it with her…”

I couldn’t find my voice. My words were stuck at the back of my throat and I began choking on the tears I was holding back.

“Listen if you want I can give you some things like my car in the divorce to help you out till you find a job… but she needs to stay in this house with me so…”

I picked up the pen in a blind rage and signed the papers. I slammed the papers in his face and took my crying mess of a face upstairs. I dragged out the biggest bag I could find and stuffed everything I could fit in there. My hands wavered on the pendant he had given me. Without a second thought I stuffed it under all my clothes.

I then dragged my suitcase down the stairs to see his eyes widen as they followed my struggling form down the stairs. I met his eyes for a second, mine overflowing with water, pouring down my face, while his remained stone cold with a slight hint of guilt ridden in them.

“Y/N…” He started.

“Yoongi… I loved you with all my heart. All I did was g-give and all you did was take from me. You n-never returned those feelings. I trusted you and you b-broke me. If you would’ve told me a year earlier I would’ve saved you a whole year of pain of living with me, and p-pretending to love me. This is the last time you’ll be seeing us again Yoongi.”

Without another word I walked out of that house. The house I thought would be filled with our children running all over the place. He didn’t try to stop me and neither did I expect him to.

I didn’t have parents. I didn’t have siblings. I had only Yoongi. I picked up my phone to call the only name I could think of, Hoseok.

TIME SKIP: 1 HOUR LATER

Luckily Hobi had picked me up and brought me over to his place. I was now sitting on his bed leaned into his chest as he snuggled me up in a blanket. A warm mug of hot chocolate provided heat to my shivering fingers.

“So you never got to tell him...” he said softly.

“I couldn’t Hobi, knowing that he’d fallen out of love with me, I couldn’t possibly lay this burden on him”

“Well he should’ve thought about it before sticking his— ”

“Hobi!”

“Sorry… it’s just… it’s his kid! And you’re gonna raise it alone?”

“Yes… I don’t have a choice”

“Listen, Y/N you’re one of my closest friends, and I know I’ve confessed to you before and you said no because you were loyal to Yoongi…” he said scratching the back of his neck nervously “but if it’s not too early to ask… I’d like to help you raise the baby…”

“W-what?” I said, utterly taken back.

“Yeah…”

“But why would you want to? I’m no better! I’m a burden! Why would you wanna help someone who rejected your kind heart just to stay loyal to her cheater of a husband, raise a baby that’s not even yours!”

“Because love is patient Y/N… I told you no matter what happened, even if you did reject my proposal, I would always wait for you… and no I’m not forcing you to love me back immediately… but I truly do want to help you raise this baby…”

“What did I do to deserve you?” I cried out as I engulfed him in a strong hug. He rested his chin on my head as he held me close to the warmth of his chest.

TIME SKIP: 6 YEARS LATER

I looked at the beautiful gold ring laying on my finger as I felt a smile creep onto my face. I heard a familiar giggle sweep through the air as I shifted my gaze up to see Hobi push Yoonji on the swings, a wide grin framing her beautiful face.

Every time I looked at her gummy smile, it reminded me of a certain someone, a certain someone who I had not seen for the last 6 years. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Yoonji’s loud squeal, “Mommy! Mommy!”

I held my arms out as she ran into my embrace and I sat her down on my lap. Hobi joined us and took a seat next to me on the park bench and laid his hand around my shoulders. I smiled at Hobi. I was so grateful he came into my life.

We then headed over to our apartment after Yoonji was done playing for the day. I held one of her hands while her other hand was held by Hobi. We lifted her off the ground as she soared high up before jumping back down. Her giggles filled the air around us. Everything was perfect. Too perfect.

As soon as we reached home I put Yoonji down to bed because she was tired from running around in the playground all day. I was in the kitchen when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist. I felt a soft kiss on my neck. I turned around and gave Hobi a peck on the lips.

“Babe…” he started.

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you want to rent this place?”

“Yeah I’m sure…”

We were currently living in a cramped small apartment. But over the last 2 years me and Hobi have been working really hard and we had finally saved up enough money to buy a bigger house.

“Well I wanted to remind you that the new family is going to come over tomorrow morning to see the place”

“Oh right! Thanks for reminding me honey”

“We’re going to buy our first house together…” he said leaning against the kitchen counter, a smile spreading across his face.

“Baby…” I said turning towards him.

“Yeah?”

“I want to… I want to start a family… with you…”

“We already are a family…”

“No I mean… I want to start… trying…” I said a blood rushing to my cheeks.

Hobi had talked to me about kids. He wanted to have a baby of his own. Not that he didn’t love Yoonji. He loved her with all his heart. But he loved me and wanted to expand our family and bring a child of his own into our little family. But I wasn’t ready just yet. Although he remained patient and didn’t bring up the topic ever since.

“W-with me? You want to?” He said his eyes wide.

“Yes” I said looking down at my feet.

“I love you so much Y/N!” He said picking me up off my feet as he twirled me around and planted a kiss on my lips.

“I love you too Hobi”

“Let’s get ready for dinner! Then it’s baby-making time!”

“Yaaahhh!” I said flustered as he left to wake up Yuna for dinner. After dinner we went to sleep early as we were all exhausted and I awaited the next day.

TIME SKIP: NEXT MORNING

Yoonji was still asleep as it was pretty early. I got dressed in some jeans and a sweater and me and Hobi waited for the family to arrive.

“I really hope they accept the offer” I said anxiously rubbing my palms against my thighs.

DING DONG

We walked to the door and I was greeted by a pretty woman with hazel brown hair. She was dressed in a coat and a knee length dress and pointy heels and pearls adorned her pale neck. She held onto a smaller individual’s hand who hid behind the woman’s legs.

I felt a bit under dressed but didn’t think much of it. I bent down to the kids level and said, “Heyy I’m Y/N what’s your name?”

I watched as the little boy uncovered his face and looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes. The woman, who I presumed was his mother spoke up, “His name is Minho”.

“Well hi Minho” I said holding out my hand. I felt his tiny hand cup two of my fingers as he shook my hand.

“Hi” he spoke up in a tiny voice.

“Cute” I said standing back up.

I soon led Minho to Yoonji’s room as she had awoken, and had laid out a few toys for them to entertain themselves with.

I slightly closed the door to Yoonji’s room leaving it partially ajar so as to not disturb them. After we had provided the lady with some coffee I asked, “So… just the two of you?”

“Actually my husband is going to be 10 minutes late… he’s running late from work… I think he’ll be here any minute now…”

“Oh okay…”

As Hobi began talking to her about the square footage of the house I heard the doorbell ring.

“That must be him” the woman said.

“I’ll get it” I said making my way to the door simultaneously drinking my coffee.

I opened the door to meet an all-too-familiar face. I froze as I lost the grip on my coffee cup. It shattered to the ground. Hobi became alarmed and ran to help me but froze too when he saw the woman’s husband standing in the doorway mouth agape.

Yoongi.

After we had all comeback to our senses Hobi had seated everyone in the living room. I had excused myself to the bathroom. I couldn’t hold in the few tears that traced my cheeks now. But I gathered myself together and wiped my puffy eyes as I made my way outside. Hobi was only talking to the woman who I think was oblivious of who we really were about the price of the apartment. After an uncomfortable amount of silence the woman brought Minho out and was ready to leave. The whole time I could feel Yoongi’s gaze burn a literal hole in me.

“Baby, should we leave?” she said addressing Yoongi.

“Umm… gimme a second I want to talk to Mr. Jung here about something for a second. Take Minho and the car home, I’ll come over later by a cab.”

“But—”

“It’s okay go” he said nodding.

Without another word she left with her son. Then Yoongi finally spoke up “Hi Y/N, long time no see”

“Hello Yoongi”

“Hey Hoseok”

“Hey” he said, a slight bitter undertone to his voice.

“So Y/N… how are you?” he nervously began.

“Why’re you here?” I said finally snapping, my voice breaking as I tried to hold in my tears.

“I just wanted to ask how you’re doing…”

“You didn’t seem to care when you left her alone without anything 6 years ago…” Hobi mumbled.

“Excuse me?” Yoongi said side-eyeing him.

“You heard me”

“For your information I was talking to Y/N”

“Well she’s not comfortable, so get out” Hobi defended.

“Who do you think you are to tell me that?”

“Get out!”

“Make me” he said grabbing Hobi’s collar without hesitation.

“Stop it! Leave him alone Yoongi!” I said screaming, tears pouring down my cheeks “Don’t talk to my husband that way!”

“Your husband?” he said loosening his grip on Hobi’s collar.

“Mommy?” a soft voice broke the tension in the room.

“Yoonji please go back inside, mommy and daddy are just talking to a friend okay?”

“Okay…” she said walking back inside her room.

“A kid too?! Wow you couldn’t keep in your pants could you Hoseok!” Yoongi snarled.

That’s when I lost it. I slapped him.

“For your information Yoongi, Hoseok has been nothing but a literal angel to me! Get that through your little pea-sized brain! He helped me when I was broken, he took care of me when you left my broken self alone!” I said heaving “And guess what?!”

“No Y/N don’t…” Hobi softly whispered.

“SHE’S YOUR BABY!” I yelled out to his face.

“W-what?” he said his eyes wide “Y-your lying!”

“Why would I lie about something like this? Yes Yoongi I was pregnant. Remember the day of our anniversary dinner? When you threw the divorce papers in my face? I was going to tell you that night!”

“Well why didn’t you?”

“What would you have done if I did tell you huh? I knew you wouldn’t love me like you loved your now wife. I’d rather raise my child alone, than with someone who doesn’t love her.”

“Y/N…” he tried to speak up.

“D-don’t… just don’t Yoongi, I have a happy family now… please leave…”

A heavy guilt settled in his heart as he spoke up “Can I at least see her?”

I looked at Hobi and he gave me a small nod.

“Yoonji, come out sweetheart…”

She walked out and Yoongi dropped to his knees. For the first time, his eyes looked broken from the inside.

“Meet mommy’s friend…”

Yoonji walked over and said “Hi, I’m Yoonji” and held out her hand. Yoongi took her hand is his and squeezed tightly. I could see his eyes moisten up “Hi Yoonji, you’re very beautiful… just like you’re mother…”

“Yoonji please go back inside dear…” I said.

“You should leave now” I said addressing Yoongi.

“Can we talk?… please…” he said with pleading eyes.

I looked at Hobi and he led Yoonji by the shoulders to her bedroom after giving me a slight nod.

“I’ll walk you downstairs.”

With that we left the apartment. We seated ourselves down on the steps leading to the apartment building.

“I really hurt you didn’t I?” he spoke up breaking the silence.

“Stating the obvious… but yes you did.”

“I promise if I’d known, I would never have left you… like I did”

“I understand, it’s not your fault… you fell out of love with me, I wasn’t enough…”

“No Y/N you were always enough, it was my fault, and… I’m sorry…” he said sighing.

After a minute of silence he spoke again, “So Yoonji huh? Is it because…?”

“Yes Yoonji – Yoongi your right. That’s why I named her that. Every time I look at her, I see a reflection of you smiling back at me…”

“I’m sorry, I truly am” he said breathlessly. “I forgive you” I said a small smile forming on my lips. What’s the point in holding an endless grudge? I was in a good place in my life so why not forgive the sins of the past?

I felt his hand land on my thigh as he turned to look at me. I turned my gaze and looked him in the eyes. For once I saw warmth and compassion behind them. He leaned in, our faces dangerously close. I felt his warm breath fan my lips as I felt him slowly closing the space between us.

I placed a finger on his soft lips, stopping him inches away from meeting mine. “I love Hoseok, and I know you love your wife… this is wrong…”

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh well my cab’s here… I’ll see you around Y/N”

“Yoongi wait” I called out and I reached down to my neck and unhooked the necklace hanging off of it. It was the charm Yoongi had given to me back in university, when he had first asked me out.

I placed the necklace in his palm and closed his fist with my fingers curling over his.

“Bye Yoongi" I said.

“Bye Y/N" Before I could react he planted a small peck on my forehead and ran over and hopped into his taxi. Without another word, I watched the taxi drive away.

I stood there alone on the street thinking about my life as the cool breeze flew by. I could’ve given up pretty easily 6 years ago when Yoongi left me. I could’ve given up on life. But thankfully I had my special someone who brought me out of my dark thoughts and had helped me believe that I could still live a better life ahead of me. Just because Yoongi was my first love, my heart had forced itself to ignore all the flaws in the relationship. And look at me now, I had a beautiful family with Yoonji and Hobi awaiting me upstairs in my apartment.

Always remember, your first love isn’t always your last. Life isn’t a fairytale. Destiny can be cruel. But it’s your job to pull through and make it count. To never give up. Anything is possible, if you’re with the right people.

*A/N: I hope you guys liked it:) Smile for me:)*

Don’t forget to follow @jungshook69 for more content:) You can check out more works of mine here. Have a great day:)

17 notes · View notes

minbbydoll · 5 years

Text

So Cold - 전 정국 (002)

↳ Genre : Angst

↳ Pairing : Cheating Husband!Jungkook x Mistress!Reader

↳ Description : Jeon Jungkook the man you dream to hold close to you as he tells you how much he loves you, a dream that will never happen though because he’s married to your best friend, you’ll only ever be a mistress to him. Someone who is so easily replaceable, he’ll never love you and you know it but you still can’t stop hoping for something more. You still can’t stop putting yourself through the heartbreak over and over again.

↳ Word count : 4.8k

↳ Warnings : Unprotected sex, public sex, dirty talk, cream pie, yelling, sad TaeTae, cheating, degrading words (again mostly slut), jealousy, Jungkook trying to kill your date

↳ A/N : I hope you guys are enjoying this fanfic, I really like to hear from you. There’s a bit in this part so you feel bad for TaeTae, feel bad for TaeTae he deserves some love. 🥺 So I was trying to figure out who should date you and his voice came on and I was like Y E S ! 🤩

001, 003

Seen my dreams all die.

“I think I wanna see other people, Jungkook.”

Jungkook looked at you with wide eyes, a look of despair on his face. “What why- what’re you talking about, see other people?”

You scooted away from him a little, “I-I just- you have Tae and I get lonely, I just think I want someone to love me.”

Love, love? Jungkook gave you a hard look, his eyebrows furrowed. “But you have me.” You looked at Jungkook with a stoic face, “No Jungkook, I don’t have you, Taehyung has you and that’s why this is wrong. Tae doesn’t deserve this.”

Jungkook scoffed, he felt annoyed but was unsure why, “Whatever, you wanna date go ahead but we’re not stopping this.” Knowing him, you know he’s upset but why, if anything he should wanna stop this just as much as you so he doesn’t lose Taehyung.

“Gukk, don’t be mad please.” You placed your head on Jungkook’s shoulder and held him closer to you. Jungkook sighed against you and he nuzzled his head into your neck.

“I’m not mad, princess I just don’t understand why you want to end this but if you wanna date, I won’t stop you.” You pulled away from Jungkook to look at his face but he didn’t meet your eyes.

“I think I should go [Name], Tae’s probably worried.” Jungkook moved away from you and started to get dressed. You’ve gotten used to him leaving after sex but that doesn’t help the emptiness it left in your heart.

Just before Jungkook left he turned back to look at you, “[Name], you should talk to Taehyung he’s been really down because you haven’t been talking to him.”

Taehyung had awoken from the nightmare he was having, he felt upset from it and wanted comfort. Taehyung turned to his other side, his husband no longer there.

Taehyung wondered why his husband wasn’t in bed, he looked in the bathroom but he wasn’t there either, he looked in the kitchen, the guest rooms, the living room, outside and basically the whole house but he was nowhere to be found.

Taehyung ended back up in his room, he didn’t want to be alone. He held his cellphone and just stared at your contact. He needs you right now but you’ve been ignoring him.

Taehyung doesn’t know what to do, does he call you, does he text you, does he just show up at your house? Taehyung just turned off his cellphone and cried, he let everything go, the sudden coldness not only from his husband but his best friend too.

He couldn’t understand what he has done to make you both upset. He really needs someone right now but the only people he really cares about are being so distant.

Jungkook took another sip of his brandy, his lips wrapped around the tulip glass as the liquid slid down his throat. He let out a dejected sigh, why did he feel like shit, why did he feel like he wanted to take you out with him and proudly show you off to anyone who dared to look at you, shouldn’t he want to do that with Taehyung?

Jungkook looked void of any emotion except for depression, a Latin American woman spotted Jungkook and smirked. She fixed her tight red dress and pushed her breasts closer together.

She added more of her matching red lipstick and slowly walked closer to Jungkook. She sat in the seat next to him but before she could say anything he muttered something which had her confused.

“I’m sorry what’d you say, I couldn’t hear you.” The song skin by Rihanna filled both of their ears and it made it hard to hear what Jungkook said. “I said your body disgust me, so don’t even try.”

A look of shock on her face, she’d never been rejected before so she was confused as to what to do now. “Tough night, baby?” Jungkook roughly put his glass down and looked at her with his dark piercing eyes. “Even worse now that you, whore are pestering me with your presence.”

She scoffed, “It’s not whore, it’s Aurora like the princess.” She changed from a frown to a nice wide smile showing off her pearly white teeth. “I think my mom knew I was going to come out perfect.” Jungkook’s thoughts faded to you, your smile and how your eyes lit up every time he came over with your favorite food.

He couldn’t help but smile at how you loved to cuddle with him and how you looked so cute pouting every time he teases you about it. It was now Jungkook’s turn to scoff, “You’re far from perfect, there’s someone else more deserving to be named after a princess that I know.”

Aurora kept her smile, “Then why isn’t she here with you prince.” He took the last sip of his drink before standing up, “Because I’m undeserving of her, don’t ever call me prince again.”

Aurora couldn’t help but laugh, “Again? Does this mean we’ll meet again?” Jungkook flicked her off before saying, “I sure hope not.” He walked through body after body to get out of the club he was in.

[Jackson] : Hi, I’m Jackson my friend Yugyeom said you were up for a date. - 10:35 am

[Jackson] : Sorry, my last text is so stupid, do you wanna go one a date with me. - 10:36 am

[Jackson] : Sorry again I really should ask if you’re free first, are you free? - 10:37 am

The texts you read were cute, he was nervous. You figured it’d be best to text back now before you make him more nervous.

[Name] : Hi, this is [Name] and yeah I’m up for a date now. - 10:37 am

It didn’t even take a full minute before he texted back.

[Jackson] : Sure, just let me know when I can pick you up, Yugyeom already gave me your address. - 10:37 am

[Jackson] : Oh god, that probably sounded so creepy, I’m sorry. - 10:38 am

You smiled at your phone as you took another sip of your lukewarm coffee.

[Name] : How about we have lunch together, so maybe at 2:30, is that okay with you? - 10:38 am

[Jackson] : Yeah that’s more than okay with me. - 10:39 am

[Jackson] : Oh god, I keep sounding like a creep I’m really sorry. - 10:39 am

[Name] : It’s perfectly fine, I can feel how nervous you are through text and I think it’s cute. - 10:39 am

[Jackson] : Oh my god, you think I’m cute, you know what I deem you my soulmate, I’ll pick you up at 2:30 : ) - 10:40 am

[Jackson] : Wait I didn’t come on too strong, did I? - 10:40 am

[Name] : No, no you didn’t don’t worry, I’ll see you at 2:30 - 10:41 am

[Jackson] : See you. - 10:42 am

You were about to put down your phone but stopped, Jungkook’s words coming into your mind. [Name], you should talk to Taehyung he’s been really down because you haven’t been talking to him. Your finger hovered over Tae’s contact.

You sighed before putting your phone, “[Name]?” You picked up your phone again to see that you’re now on a call with Taehyung, you mentally scolded yourself for being so careless.

“Hey Tae,” you know he can hear the nervousness in your voice. “God, [Name] you have no idea how much I missed you.” You felt really horrid hearing the sadness in Taehyung’s voice, he’s been such a good friend while you’re sleeping with his husband.

“I-I’ve missed you too.” Taehyung lit up at you saying you missed him too, he’s felt so lonely without you. “[Name], is there anything new with you.” You shook your head while smiling, he’s back to regular Taehyung always wanting to gossip.

“Uh...yeah, I’m actually going on a date today.” Taehyung practically screeched on his side of the phone. “Holy fuck, your first date, who is he, do I know him.” You truly did miss Tae and his noisy self.

“No, actually I’ve never seen him before.” Taehyung paused for a second, “Are you trying to get kidnapped.”

“No-,” Taehyung cut you off, “What if he’s a serial killer, that’s it double date, Jungkook and I will take care of you, if he doesn’t agree then that’s a red flag and you need to drop him.”

You thought about it for a bit, all the times you’ve had to be a third wheel on their dates, watch them kiss and act all lovey dovey, now it’s your turn. “Okay, I’ll ask him right now.”

“Good Jungkook and I are in need of a date anyway and hopefully he’ll behave and be nice to me if we’re with other people.” You gulped, “H-he hasn’t been nice to you?”

You put Taehyung on speakerphone to text Jackson, “No, he’s been really distant, sometimes I wake up in the early morning and he’s not in the house.” Yeah, that’s cause he’s in mine.

“I’m sure it’s just stress Taehyung, he’ll come around.”

[Name] : Hey Jackson, I was wondering if we could have a double date, I told my friend about you and he said we should have a double date so you don’t kidnap me. 😅 - 11:00 am

[Jackson] : Oh, yeah a double date is fine and I won’t kidnap you unless you want me to. 🥴 - 11:01 am

[Jackson] : Oh god, that sounded creepy, I’m sorry just disregard that, a double date is fine with me. - 11:01 am

You chuckled a small smile on your face, “What, what’d he say?” Taehyung’s voice made you stop staring at Jackson’s texts. “He said a double date is okay, be ready by 2:00 pm.”

Taehyung gasped, “Oh fuck, you and I better start getting ready. I don’t even know if 3 hours is enough time.” Taehyung always took forever to get ready, “I’m not like you Taehyung, I don’t need 3 hours to get ready and neither do you, you look amazing in anything.”

Taehyung just let out a tired sigh, “I don’t think you get that you have to keep the magic alive in a marriage and that you have to look your best for every date. You really need to step up for your first date too, look I’ll hurry and get dressed then I’ll help you get ready. Just take a shower and be ready for me.”

You nodded but sighed knowing he can’t see you, “I’ll just be in robe waiting for you.” Taehyung hung up and you put your coffee and empty plate in the sink, you switched on the water to rinse your plate and cup so it’s easier to wash later.

You walked into your bathroom, Taehyung’s words came back to you. Jungkook is distant but why? You turned on the water waiting for it to get to the temperature of your preference.

After you took off your clothes you grabbed your tooth brush and tooth paste, you stepped into the shower but during the entire duration of your shower you couldn’t help but think about why? Why was Jungkook being distant towards Taehyung, why is he distant towards you, is he cheating on Taehyung and you?

You shook your head and dried yourself off with your towel, you have no right to be jealous. You put your towel down and grabbed your robe off the hook wrapping it around yourself.

You grabbed a brush and your hair dryer, you dried your hair to the best of your ability. You heard a knock on your door and you know it’s Taehyung, you put your brush down and walked over to the door.

Taehyung engulfed you in a hug when he saw you, “Oh god, my baby it’s been so long.” You squeezed Taehyung’s bicep and hugged him back, “Tae can’t breathe.”

“Mhm, sorry.” Taehyung let you go and smiled. “Okay your first date, so it’s just lunch?” You nodded and Taehyung walked into your room, you trailing behind him.

You walked into your room to see Taehyung ransacking your closet, “Do you have anything not so safe, I literally see nothing sexy.” You came over to see the mess inside your closet, “I don’t usually wear sexy things Tae, I like sweaters, I barely own tee-shirts.”

Taehyung shook his head and patted your shoulder, “You’re so lucky I brought you some clothes to try on.” Taehyung slipped off his backpack and went to your bed, he took out neatly folded clothes, “Well if you brought clothes what was the point of messing up my closet and my room?”

Taehyung looked up at you, “I wanted to see if you had anything good, you didn’t so...here we are.” Taehyung took out a light baby blue bowknot style short sleeve A-line dress, it looked short but nonetheless stunning, “I really want to emphasize your innocence, yet keep you looking sexy. Take off your robe.”

You undid the knot in your robe and slipped it off your shoulders, “Did you gain weight?” Your arms came to cover your stomach, “I haven’t had time to go to the gym.”

Taehyung nodded and grabbed some pale blue panties with a matching bra, “Let’s hope you get some.” You gasped and looked Taehyung up and down, “Hell no, I’m not doing that on the first date.”

Taehyung shrugged and told you to hurry and get dressed, the dress stopped at upper thigh, “Don’t you think it’s a little short Taehyung?” Taehyung looked you up and down, “But it looks so perfect on you.” Taehyung whined and pouted.

You sighed, “I guess but I feel kind of uncomfortable in this.” Taehyung held your hips, “Baby you look amazing, don’t worry, he’ll love you.” You nodded and hugged him, “I missed you so much Tae,” Taehyung just held you.

Taehyung made you sit down in front of your vanity, “Let’s get started with your makeup.”

“Wow, I outdid myself.” Taehyung looked at you through the mirror, “You barely did anything this is my natural beauty baby.” Taehyung scowled at you, “Let me have this moment.”

“Jungkook’s on his way, did you text - what is his name, oh Jackson.” You looked up at Taehyung, “Yeah he’s on his way too and be nice Taehyung.” Taehyung threw his hands up in surrender, “I��ll try but he’s going to be your first ever date, I can’t promise anything.”

You heard your door bell ring and you and Taehyung nodded at each other before going to answer the door. Jungkook stood there with a wide smile, he looked at you and frown when he scanned you up and down.

Although you took his breath away, he thought the dress was a little too short for a first date. Jungkook kept staring at you and as he did the frown on his face morphed back into a wide loving smile.

“Jungkook,” he loves hearing his name fall from your lips, he might not tell you but it’s true. “Jungkook!” Taehyung’s deep voice echoed in Jungkook’s ears, it wasn’t the same as when your soft voice called out to him.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and turned to Taehyung, a fake smile basically stitched onto his face. He held out the red roses he had picked out on his way to your apartment to Taehyung.

He thought of you while picking them out, how beautiful you would look while sniffing them. The thought of you scrunching your nose while smelling them had his fake smile for Taehyung turn into a real genuine smile for you.

Taehyung felt nothing but exhilaration when his husband finally smiled at him after what seemed to be forever of being ignored. This was the only reason Taehyung put up with being ignored because he could see the beautiful smile on Jungkook’s face.

Taehyung loved Jungkook’s smile, the way his eyes crinkled together as he showed off his top and bottom teeth, the way his nose was scrunched together from having such a wide smile on his face.

This was the reason Taehyung put up with hours of loneliness, it was why Taehyung didn’t care about his husband not touching him and it was the reason as to why Taehyung pretended to not see the way Jungkook looked at you.

It was because Jungkook’s smile is only for Taehyung, right? Taehyung gladly accepted the lively red roses Jungkook held out for him, because they were for him, right? Jungkook thought of Taehyung while buying the roses, right?

You bit your lip to fight off the jealously that was clouding your heart, you had no right to be jealous. You continued to repeat that in head as you closed your eyes and tried not to look at the couple in front of you that stared at each other with stars in their eyes.

They look at each other like that because they love each other, right? “Hi, I’m Jackson Wang.” You opened your eyes to come face to face with a man almost as tall as Jungkook.

He had his wavy light brown hair parted to the right side, his smile was bright and small. He held beautiful black roses, you wondered how they looked so beautiful yet so dark and lifeless.

“Uh... I didn’t know what type of flowers to get you and I didn’t want to make you mad by stereotyping and getting you pink or red roses so I ended up getting emo roses.”

You laughed at the way he said emo roses, “No, thank you I actually really love them.” You said as you took the bunch of roses from Jackson. “I must say you’re way more beautiful than Yugyeom described, he really didn’t do you justice.”

Jungkook tsked and kept glaring at Jackson, he watched with antipathy as you smiled sweetly at Jackson. “Thank you Jackson, I love them and-,” Jackson interrupted you. “If you’re going to ask where I got them please don’t because I don’t know.”

“Haha, that’s cute but I should put them in water so please wait for a minute.” Jackson nodded and stepped in closer to you, Jackson could feel the one-sided tension and felt really uncomfortable.

“Hey, how about I come with.” You however were a bit oblivious to how upset Jungkook really was, your focus was solely on Jackson and due to that fact you couldn’t see how murderous Jungkook’s stare was.

“Oh no, it’s okay it’ll only take a minute.” You reassured Jackson and stepped out of your living room into the kitchen to get a flower vase and water for them. “Wait [Name] can you put mine in water too?” You nodded towards Taehyung and grabbed his flowers.

Jackson turned to the other two in the room once you left, “So I assume you’re the best friend since you’re looking at me like that.” Jackson finally met Jungkook’s stare.

Taehyung held onto Jungkook’s bicep and intercepted before Jungkook could say anything. “No, I am.” Jackson turned his attention to Taehyung and he held his hand out.

Taehyung took it and smiled, “You know you’re really handsome.” Jungkook looked at Taehyung with repulse for a quick second before switching back to a smile that was without a doubt forced.

Jackson just scratched his head while looking down, Taehyung turned to Jungkook to see him with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry babe, I’m only for you.”

Jungkook just nodded and pushed his lips together, “Do you work out Jackson, you look really perfect for Y/N.” Jungkook pressed his lips together at his husband’s perception, he felt a tighten in his heart at thinking of Jackson being perfect with you.

He looked at Jackson and then himself, he noticed that Jackson’s arms were bigger than his own. He noticed that Jackson seemed more muscular than him, did you like more muscles on a man? You never said anything to him, well then again you two never really did talk about seeing other people.

You came back just as Taehyung and Jackson finished talking, “I think that’s a great idea Jackson.” Taehyung said a little louder than normal so you were able to hear and you being clueless did exactly what he wanted you to do.

“What’s a great idea?” You walked closer to the three of them and patted down your dress with a curious look on your face. Taehyung turned to you and smiled.

“Jackson said he saw a carnival on the way here and was asking me if we could do that instead.” Jackson looked at Taehyung with wide eyes because for one Jackson never said that but Taehyung was just helping him out.

“Oh, a carnival is a great idea, they’re really fun.” Taehyung hit Jackson’s chest with a cocky smile on his face as you turned away to grab your bag. Jungkook was still blanking out thinking of was to build more muscle.

“Come on Jungkook.” Once Jungkook came back he turned to Taehyung who wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s bicep while you and Jackson were already headed to towards the elevator.

Jungkook could see the two of you waiting for the elevator and Jungkook narrowed his eyes when Jackson hooked his arm around your waist and you just laughed. Why was Jackson making you laugh so much?

Taehyung looked to where he thought Jungkook was looking and he only saw a pretty flower vase with pink roses next to you and Jackson. “Come on Jungkook, don’t wanna miss the elevator.”

Jungkook let Taehyung pull him out of your living room and into the hall, once outside Taehyung locked your door and pulled Jungkook with himself towards you and Jackson.

Once you finally made it to the carnival Jungkook and Jackson paid for the tickets while you and Taehyung silently waited next to your dates. Even the man who gave the tickets could feel the one-sided tension from Jungkook and tried to hurry the four of you along.

“Never again am I getting into a car with Jungkook, [Name]-ie call me an uber when we leave.” Taehyung whined into your arm and you tried to shake him off. “Yeah Jungkook what was with the horrible driving?”

You looked up to Jungkook and he was already looking at you, he muttered something under his breath before saying, “I don’t know, it was the bumpy roads not me.”

“Bumpy roads don’t make you swerve left and right.” Jungkook just walked towards the win-a-prize booths. Jungkook was just jealous every time Jackson touched your thigh so he swerved in the opposite direction to try and get him off of you.

“Ah Jungkookie~ don’t be mad, I still love you.” Taehyung ran towards Jungkook and you followed with Jackson soon after. Jungkook paid the booth man and Jungkook was given three balls.

Jungkook missed one and Jackson gave money to the man for his turn. “If I can’t get it, you definitely can’t.” Jackson just turned to the upset Jungkook. “Don’t underestimate me.” Jackson ended up making all three and ended up getting you a big stuffy teddy bear, one that was a pretty light brown.

“Big deal, I can just buy one at the store.” Taehyung just pouted and grabbed Jungkook’s bicep again. “Jungkookie why don’t we leave these two alone and let them have fun.”

Jungkook turned to Taehyung with a sour look on his face. “No.” You and Jackson looked at each other before you silently apologized with your eyes. Taehyung was getting pissed off because Jungkook was acting so curt.

“Come with me.” Taehyung forcefully pulled away Jungkook from you, Jackson, and the whole crowd of people enjoying the carnival. Taehyung finally stopped just outside the carnival.

“Okay cut the bullshit Jungkook, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Jungkook just looked at Taehyung apologetic, “I’m sorry I just haven’t been feeling good and I just want [Name] to be safe, I know how much you care about her.”

Taehyung held his cheeks and gave him a kiss on the forehead, “I love you baby but we should really leave them alone and let them get to know each other better.”

Jungkook just shook his head, “No, we should stay by them and protect her, we need to get back to them.” Jungkook tried to turn his head away from Taehyung but Taehyung turned his face back to him. “No we need to leave them alone.”

Jungkook shook his head and looked at Taehyung, “We’ll talk after this, we don’t know what he’ll do to her.”

“She’ll be fine, he really likes her.”

“That’s the point!” Jungkook has never yelled at Taehyung before, not even in a fight and all it took was them fighting about you for him to crack. Taehyung shook his head.

“You’re acting like an ass Jungkook.” Jungkook just looked down, “I am an ass.” He took off and left Taehyung at the entrance.

You told Jackson to wait somewhere near the food so you could go to the bathroom quickly and come back to find him. Initially you did go near the food but didn’t find him where you left him.

After that you figured he went to look for you in the bathroom so you went back there but bumped into someone. “[Name]!” Jungkook held your arms and dragged you to a family bathroom.

Jungkook grabbed your face and forcefully kissed you, he was surprised when you tried to throw him off of you. He finally let go of your face, “What are you doing?”

You wiped your lips, “What am I doing, no what the fuck are you doing?! You’re on a date with not only your husband but I’m on a date too.” Jungkook looked away from you and used tongue to poke his inner cheek.

“[Name], since when has that ever stopped us?” Jungkook pulled you closer by your waist and kissed your neck. “Come on baby, I know you want this, you wanna be full of my thick dick while there are people outside.”

Jungkook pushed you up against the wall of the bathroom, “Baby, I know you want people to hear you moan for me, you want them to catch us fucking, is that what you want?”

Jungkook slid his hand to your thighs and dipped his hand under your dress and into your panties. “Look baby, you fucking love that, don’t you?” Two of his fingers were rubbing your pussy lips.

He quickly shoved those fingers knuckles deep inside of you. “Please~” You mewled out as he just stayed and didn’t move. “Please what baby, what’re the magic words?”

“Please daddy, please do something.” Jungkook was ready to cum in pants from how wet you were, how tight you felt around his fingers. “Fuck baby, I can’t.”

Jungkook quickly took out his fingers and undid his pants, he stroked his cock and had you wrap your legs around his waist. You buried your head in his neck to muffle your moans when he entered you.

Jungkook stayed there for while getting used to how tight you felt, you wiggled your ass and that had him done. He put one of his hands on the wall while the other was gripping you waist and he started to fuck you.

Jungkook was balls deep inside of you, his length was hitting all the places you wanted. Jungkook already knows you like the back of his hand, he knows just how to make you cum so quickly.

“Such a fucking slut, look at you taking my cock while on a date with someone else, you wear this short dress just to tease me, didn’t you?” His hand hovered over your clit but didn’t touch you.

“Answer slut, I swear if you were to bend over with this dress on you would show everyone your sweet little cunt that’s only for me, does daddy have to teach his slut some rules?”

You nodded trying your best to speak. “Y-yes daddy, please I’ve been bad.” Jungkook pressed his fingers into your clit and rubbed you there. There was so much of your arousal that it coated his fingers, balls, thighs, and stomach.

You let out a strangled moan as Jungkook came in you, his cum leaked out of you and had you reach your high. “Fuck you like that baby, you like my baby in you?” You nodded.

“You like being full, don’t you slut?” You nodded again and he pinched your clit, “Words slut.” You squirmed, “Yes daddy, I love it, I love being full of your baby, I want your baby.”

You unknowingly voiced your real thoughts yet Jungkook didn’t acknowledge it. “Mhm, that’s what I wanna hear slut.” Jungkook pulled out of you and watched his cum leak out.

Jungkook let you down and you were able to stand but when you took a step forward, your legs gave in and Jungkook smiled before grabbing your arm.

“Aw my baby can’t walk?”

003

#jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts #bts smut #jungkook smut #cheating #jungkook angst #angst #taehyung #taekook #jackson #got7 jackson #got7

523 notes · View notes

jcmorrigan · 4 years

Text

In Defense of Archibald Snatcher

Oh, wow, we’re coming up on almost the sixth anniversary of The Boxtrolls, my favorite film of all time, and though the fandom for it seems to be either dead or in hibernation, I still have the torch lit.

I actually have been of the mindset of the opinion/s I’m about to present here for all those six years, but never really thought it prudent to lay them out until I recently had a friend I was recommending the film to who I warned about some of the elements considered “problematic” and I offhandedly mentioned that I could do a whole essay about why they don’t bother me and said friend replied with a desire to want to hear it because we share infodump for infodump, so here we go, I’m poking the hornet’s nest surrounding a controversial film with a dead fandom.

But if you were on Tumblr back in the heyday, you might’ve seen the reaction to this film when it first debuted. Specifically, what a lot of people honed in on wa that the villain, Archibald Snatcher, employed a dragsona to be able to push his agenda and implement his evil scheme. There was outrage. There were accusations. There was lambasting. And above it all, one question hovers: was this transphobic?

I want to start, before we get into the weeds, by saying that if you are anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum and you were offended by this film or this character, your experiences are completely valid. I’m about to present the counterargument in language that assumes my take is fact for the purpose of not having to write fifty thousand clunky disclaimers, but analytical as this may be, it IS an opinion, and if you don’t think it’s right, then hey, that’s super valid, and I’m not gonna try and change your mind, because if you’re hurt, then you’re hurt! You just may want to nope out of this post right now because I’m about to lay out my observations and thoughts to the contrary of the accusations of this being homo/transphobic.

First of all, the obvious facet that comes to mind is how strange it is that we only ever saw the word “transphobia” put on this phenomenon rather than “homophobia” when using a female alter ego as a disguise or a performance art is not the same as being a woman assigned male at birth. One only needs to take a look over at RuPaul’s Drag Race to see examples of this culture. Lots of gay men wearing dresses. No women perceived male.

All the same, I will say that on the surface, adding any kind of queercoding to the story’s villain, who the audience is supposed to boo and hiss at, looks really, really bad on paper. However you interpret it, Snatcher is definitely queercoded. He openly flirts with the man he’s trying to trick as a means of getting what he wants, he displays sincere enjoyment of wearing the dress, and he runs the gamut of flamboyant hand gestures. But if you dig a little further, there’s even more to the story: his tale is one of a man who desires to pass as one of the elite class in his society, but is held back by something he can’t change about himself no matter how he denies it.

Let’s look at the rest of his story. Snatcher is in pursuit of the White Hat: the ultimate status symbol. To that end, he’s decided to otherize the Boxtroll population of the town and play upon the culture shock in Cheesebridge to convince the humans of the “upper world” that the Boxtrolls are predatory monsters who must be killed. This sounds like a pretty black-and-white good-and-evil scenario, right? You’ve got your population of innocent sweethearts being attacked and your genocidal racist orchestrating their destruction. But there’s a third layer still: Lord Portley-Rind, the chief White Hat himself. Lord PR is actually the worst of the lot. It’s because he doesn’t accept Snatcher that Snatcher feels he has to resort to this tactic. He demonstrates open hatred of the Boxtrolls and of Snatcher (”I’m not sure who should be more worried: the Boxtrolls or us!”). There are implications in how he treats his daughter that he’s a textbook sexist who believes there are men’s roles and women’s roles in society and nary the twain shall cross. And he’s the rich guy controlling the entire city and letting children’s hospitals and crumbling bridges go to waste by spending the budget on frivolous cheese. In short, Lord PR is basically the ur-example of a nightmarish fictional Republican (and oh, how I WISH he hadn’t been so prophetic).

I’m not saying Snatcher was justified or good. No. He’s in no way redeemable. But over the course of his interactions with Lord PR, you can see just how much society’s elites treat him as inhuman or like a dirty buffoon. He’s looked down upon, he’s insulted even when he’s doing the “service” Lord PR desires, he’s rejected until he’s gone above and beyond his contract and I think it’s even a little bit implied that Lord PR would’ve reneged on the whole deal if the mob hadn’t cheered for Snatcher in the end. So what you have is a prim and proper billionaire who subscribes to gender roles telling a man of the lower class, obviously economically downtrodden, that he doesn’t deserve what Lord PR has.

The idea of meritocracy is woven throughout the film. Listening to the speech in the background of Snatcher’s anaphylactic attack, while the visuals are focused on Eggs rescuing Fish, you can hear Snatcher rambling about how his father told him that if you work hard, you will receive a White Hat, but he worked hard all his life and got nothing. One of the White Hats literally says he got his through being rich. It’s not hard to infer that Snatcher has figured out how broken the system is and realized the only way to win the game is to cheat.

But there’s still one more thing holding him back from his victory, something that actually trips him up when he achieves what he wanted. Cheese is presented as another status symbol: the rich eat it and are connoisseurs of its flavor. Snatcher is deathly allergic to it. The goal he’s chasing, he can’t even have without threat to his own life. His reaction is to pretend he isn’t allergic and to expose himself to having allergic reactions on the regular to show how much he’s ready to become part of the elites. I’ll reiterate: Archibald Snatcher wants to join the elites, but is held back because of something about himself he cannot change that only matters because the upper crust said it should.

Okay. So we’ve established the man is gay, or somewhere on the queer spectrum. How is this not really, really horrible?

Because the narrative invites you to feel some sympathy for him. No, not for his actions or any secret soft side or tragic backstory (that’s a job for the fans), but because he is chasing a dream he cannot attain. Perhaps the film’s biggest shortcoming is how little consequence comes to Lord PR in the end, because Lord PR, for all intents and purposes, is the worse villain on the board. Snatcher’s ploy is to take the class below the one he inhabits and paint its members as the bad guys: a nuisance that must be exterminated for the betterment of society. And we’ve seen this. We’ve seen plenty of real-life examples of have-nots turning on have-lessers because the haves benefit from oppressed groups infighting and being distracted from who holds the money and the power. A lot of times, you see that while intersectionality is definitely something we need to pay attention to, racism, sexism, and homophobia are not concepts that are all explicitly linked. If you experience one, that doesn’t mean you don’t project one or two of the others on other people - particularly if you’re trying to make yourself feel better about the discrimination you face.

When you look at the hierarchy, Snatcher is, I reiterate, a very bad person. But he’s also a victim. Not as much of a victim as the poor Boxtrolls, who get the malice trickling down from both the Red Hats and the White Hats, but he is a victim. We see him mocked, laughed at, turned away. And though he’s not redeemable, there are aspects in which he is sympathetic.

But what about Frou Frou? What about that particular disguise?

Well, for one, it’s used to make yet another allegorical statement. Snatcher is able to get attention paid to him if he weaponizes female sexuality - though it is a very shallow attention that largely results in the straight men of the town swallowing his propaganda while also objectifying him. Most of the comments made on Frou Frou are slimy, smarmy “compliments” on her body from the White Hats. Lord PR’s wife harbors a distinct distaste for Frou Frou because her husband most certainly prefers ogling Frou Frou to actually paying attention to their marriage. Frou Frou is a propaganda vehicle to make it look like more than one person is on the same page as Snatcher; Snatcher himself drives the action of his scheme and gets the dirty work done.

It’s also worth noting that if you take away the implications, villains using alter egos to trick their nemeses is a tale as old as time, from sea witch Ursula making herself more supermodel-esque in order to marry the prince to mythological Loki actually crossdressing much in the same vein in order to fool the Frost Giants. There’s a reason disguise masters and shapeshifters are intriguing villain archetypes: because we’re always a little bit afraid that someone isn’t who they say they are, and because - yeah, I’m about to go here - I think we all wish we could shift shape ourselves to take on new forms that suit the goals we’re trying to accomplish, even if that means “fooling” others. So it’s reasonable to think Laika wasn’t aware that there was any queercoding to even be had here - but I do think the crew was aware, and not in a malicious way.

However, watching Snatcher’s scenes as Frou Frou, there’s something that comes across in his character that you don’t see so often when he’s presenting male: he’s legitimately having fun. He dances, he flirts with the crowd, he adds more flourishes to his speech, he gets sassy. Frou Frou is a means for him to express himself, to allow himself to be feminine when he has built his philosophy on needing to do “what a man does” (he repeats this at least twice) in order to achieve greatness. He can be a little more himself when he’s Frou Frou, even though Frou Frou isn’t him. Taking a new identity that’s allowed the other half of the gender roles allowed in Cheesebridge (which runs on a binary because it’s run by the White Hats) lets him act a little less like what he needs to be to be taken seriously and a little more like he has freedom.

Put this back in context of the greater narrative: given all the parallels we’ve seen, it’s safe to assume that Cheesebridge, as a whole, is not accepting of deviations from gender roles, whether it’s being open and proud of your LGBTQ+ identity or simply wearing the clothes that don’t belong to your gender. Snatcher is taking an enormous gamble here by using Frou Frou at all. On one hand, it’s a calculated risk; he knows if he can appeal to Lord PR’s unchecked sexist libido, he can secure another avenue to being heard. On the other, however, it’s not really much of a leap to say this is something he wants to do, someone he wants to be more like, and isn’t allowed to, and since he’s cheating at the game anyway, he might as well go all the way and do what he wants with his life.

I’ve seen a lot of people take issue with the scene where he reveals himself to Lord PR and comparing it to some actual homophobic/transphobic media. And again, if that still stands to you as your primary analysis and emotional reaction, then feel free to turn away, reject my analysis, and know your thoughts and feelings are completely valid. But I think this scene differs from your usual “person with male parts tricked you into thinking they were a woman” scene in a couple ways.

For one, Snatcher decides to out himself on his own. To Lord PR, it’s when he’s got nothing left to lose. Again, when he realizes the game is broken and the odds are against him, he takes control and decides to be himself a little more. Now everyone knows he likes to act a dragsona because he wanted them to. But also, earlier on, when he revealed himself to Eggs, it was again on purpose. Eggs didn’t figure him out. Snatcher needed Eggs to know the level of the threat he was dealing with: that he was the person Eggs has been running from since the start and is no less dangerous in a dress. It’s always been of his own volition. There’s no “I thought you knew” or disrobing to see a body that doesn’t match expectations - Eggs ripping Snatcher’s wig off is maybe a little iffier, but again, in context, that’s him trying to show Snatcher��s identity, not as a man but as Archibald Snatcher, to expose the corruption, and Snatcher actually plays it completely off because he’s that good of an actor.

Which brings me to my second point. There’s only one person who reacts in an “Oh, gross!” manner to this revelation, and it’s Lord Portley-Rind. The one we’ve established is sexist, homophobic, and your textbook Rich White Straight Cis Man. The one at the top of the food chain. The one who’s been objectifying Snatcher and acting like a slobbering pervert about Frou Frou from the beginning. The homophobe realizes he has been a little gay. The sexist realizes his objectifying a particular person he perceived female has consequences. And this is why to me, that scene is actually hilarious. Because I don’t feel like I’m laughing at Snatcher’s expense. I’m laughing because Lord PR just got called OUT, and this is exactly the kind of discomfort that is karmic given how he’s treated his daughter, his wife, and everyone in his city who’s needed him.

Cycling back to when Snatcher outs himself at the ball, Eggs doesn’t really seem to care that there’s a gender-role-play involved here. His concern is not that this is actually a man; his concern is that it’s specifically the person who he knows is trying to ruin everything. Same with Winnie when Eggs passes it on. Eggs trying to reveal Snatcher to the crowd doesn’t even begin with “Frou Frou is fake,” but a line I will never forget: “Archibald Snatcher has lied to you all.” Not even drawing attention yet to the fact that he’s in the room. Starting out by having everyone remember that guy they are all sure ISN’T there and pointing out he’s bad news.

To look at Lord Portley-Rind’s “Oh my God! I regret so much!” as a dig at Snatcher is to say that Lord Portley-Rind is the lens through which we should be viewing this story, which it most certainly isn’t. The lens is Eggs and Winnie. Adjacent lenses are Fish, Shoe, and Jelly. Lord Portley-Rind is an antagonist to every single character in this film save the other White Hats.

Which is why if this film falls flat anywhere, it’s in letting Lord Portley-Rind get away without consequence. I think I can take a guess as to why this primarily happened: it needed to wrap up in a little under two hours, and dismantling systematic oppression and abuse of socioeconomic power can’t be done in a two-hour escapade. I still wish he were at least villainized a little more, as that’s where the narrative was leading up to that point. One of his earliest scenes with Winnie foreshadows that he will have to choose between her and the hat, and it takes him two tries to make the right choice. This story, until the very last act, has not supported him being a character to like or sympathize with, even in such subtle ways as Trout and Pickles stealing his hat and running around with it to taunt Snatcher - showing that a symbol is really only a symbol, and doesn’t indicate your worth. Anyone can put on a hat. Lord PR has just been brought onto an equal footing with them, if only for a moment.

Okay, so why have this whole three-layer narrative anyway? Couldn’t we have made this story more clear-cut between the Boxtrolls and White Hats, with no queercoded villain to get in between?

Yes...but I’m not sure that would have been best for the viewing audience. And there’s plenty of precedent as to why Laika thought it was a move for the better.

Queercoded villains are in every aspect of our fictional and fandom lives. Here’s a bitter pill to swallow: all your favorite Disney villains are queercoded. All of them. “But Frollo’s arc is about - “ Being a man in a religious system afraid of being tainted as sinful for being attracted to the wrong person. “Gaston, though, is - “ Very chummy with LeFou, and I’m talking the animated versions. They’re all colorful, flamboyant, foppish for the men and full of socially-unacceptable strength for the women. These were the cornerstones of our childhood nostalgia and characters we still feel culturally attached to.

It’s not just in Disney. Are you a fan of musical theater? Well, then your favorite villain probably got a big song and dance in which they wore some glitter. Classic lit? Google the name of your favorite literary canon villain and “queer theory” and see what happens.

I don’t think we can really say this is good or bad. On one hand, it’s not great that a marginalized group can only see themselves in the character we’re supposed to hate. On the other, though, we don’t always hate that character. Villains hold a unique place in our culture. They do bad things, horrible things, but the story can’t take place without a conflict, and we like when that conflict has a name and a cool design such as a tall, imposing sorcerer/witch in flowing robes - or perhaps a tall, graceful man in a long red coat and a towering crooked top hat.

I’ve had lots of friends and trusted Internet reviewers talking about how queercoding in villains can actually be really empowering. If you’re a fan of the villain, you get to see a power fantasy in which someone who has something very big in common with you gets to enact karma on others for wronging them! You get to wear the cool robes, sing the fun song, do things that are not really legal or acceptable! I think a great analogy is if you check out the book “Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers” by Sady Doyle. It’s primarily about sexism rather than queer issues (though it does touch upon them!), but examines how women throughout pop culture and storytelling history have always been the witch, the monster, the demon, and how that sucks, but it also means that women have a great pile of fictional power fantasies to pick from to indulge in. It’s the same principle. I myself may not be same-gender-attracted, but I am asexual, and still waiting on my glamorous villain who uproots society as revenge for being forced to do something analogous to having a sexual relationship...*taps wristwatch*

Meanwhile, queercoding is not as prevalent in heroes. And I think that’s where everything’s tripping on its own feet. Because a gay villain among a bunch of straight heroes does look pretty bad. Are some of the heroes queercoded as well, though? Well, that’s just realistic diversity. People are gay, and there happen to be some good ones and some evil ones here. I don’t think Snatcher’s dragsona is entirely unproblematic, but I do think it could have been mitigated a lot with more implications that Eggs and Winnie might be queer in some way (and believe me, I choose to interpret them that way, because the more the merrier).

The thing is that in pop culture as of late, there seems to be a trend to scrub away all villainous queercoding because it’s seen as a black-and-white issue. To go back to the Disney villains, do you feel like the live-action recreations of Jafar, Scar, and Gaston are missing a certain je ne sais quoi? Well, think about it through this lens and it might be that you savez quoi after all. They’ve all been made incredibly straight as of late, with off-the-record actor confirmations about having obsessive crushes on the film heroines. I can’t speak to why this has happened; there’s a lot of history behind any given social movement, and I haven’t managed to really unpack this one. “Blame Tumblr” is too easy; I would want to know who were the loudest voices, why they said what they said, and what was the intended accomplishment, not to mention if this had built on other social-media or real-life platforms over the years and was influenced by any outside source by news or marketing. I can’t say why queercoded villains are being burned; I can only say it’s happening. And it was happening big-time in 2014, when The Boxtrolls was released.

I also feel like I would be remiss to mention that The Boxtrolls is based on “Here Be Monsters,” which I believe to be one of the worst books I’ve ever read, bar none. That version of the story has...pretty much everything that’s perceived to be in the film version’s text as problematic. Frou Frou is presented as something to laugh at Snatcher about throughout, largely because everything about Snatcher is presented to make him seem gross or like a buffoon. There’s a whole scene of the hero rifling through his desk to find soiled underwear. Not to mention that the original purpose of Frou Frou in the text was to manipulate the town’s women by dictating the fashion trends they should follow and the beliefs they should hold in order to fit in. This is something that does need commentary on it, but in that text in particular, it seems like the women are silly and easily swayed, and that they’re the town’s weak link because they’re slaves to fashion. The Boxtrolls completely flips this around so that the town’s weak link re: Frou Frou is the rich MEN who objectify women, particularly the men that happen to be in charge of the whole town, and looking at that divide alone tells me how much care was put into this adaptation at every level.

So why’d I do this, besides having a friend who wanted to read it? Because Archibald Snatcher is legitimately one of my favorite fictional characters. Yeah, I know, he’s a horrible person and terribly racist, and no, I don’t think his demonizing an entire people is anything to be emulated. But on one hand, there are places where I not only empathize but identify with him, particularly where it comes to living out the majority of one’s life trying to live up to a meritocracy - I did everything right, so why am I not on top? He’s also just fun and satisfying to me. He’s the exact brand of evil I eat up. He’s quippy, flamboyant, sadistic to a point, and altogether enjoying his job way too much. Even though he isn’t in power all that long, he is a power fantasy for me, too - wishing I had his talent to talk my way into others’ hearts by saying the right thing, and maybe cultivating a little bit of that I didn’t realize I had (but not to use for evil purposes). I loved him from the moment he turned up because of his sheer dynamic presence - his drawn-out vowels, his sinister smile, his silver-tongued manipulations - and to this day I find him an inspiring character when it comes to writing fiction, both in the realms of fanfiction and original villain creation. You could say he’s a comfort character to me. And maybe this has been the delusional rambling of a woman trying to protect a character she likes for surface reasons by spelling out what look like analytical points of discussion.

But I don’t think Laika was trying to be mean-spirited or homo/transphobic in their character creation. I think they were trying to make an engaging villain who had some layers you could pick at to see more about the narrative as a whole and the message of societal corruption and how the way to overcome it is to be true to yourself rather than defined by your status: a lesson Snatcher fails at the finish line when Eggs gives him one last chance to “make you.” And ultimately, if you really and truly did like Archibald Snatcher, you’re not wrong or invalid in the least.

#archibald snatcher #the boxtrolls #boxtrolls #laika #analysis #discourse #long post #hot takes #controversial opinions #you know...all the fun stuff #and then the sequel: op gives him a crossover villain ship to help him self-actualize

62 notes · View notes

monotonous-minutia · 3 years

Text

DORILLA IN TEMPE (in a nutshell)

(contains spoilers)

Cast:

Dorilla, a princess, in love with Elmiro (soprano or mezzo-soprano)

Elmiro, a shepherd, in love with Dorilla (mezzo-soprano)

Nomio, Apollo disguised as a shepherd, also in love with Dorilla (mezzo-soprano)

Admeto, the king, also Dorilla’s father, presumably single (bass)

Eudamia, a nymph, also in love with Elmiro (mezzo-soprano)

Filindo, who apparently doesn’t get a title, in love with Eudamia (mezzo-soprano)

Act I

(A pasture outside the palace)

Elmiro: Dorilla! I love you!

Dorilla: Elmiro! I love you too!

Elmiro: Well glad we got that established right off the bat, usually the mezzo has to battle a little bit more.

Dorilla: Nah, you’re cute.

Elmiro: But what if…this was all a dream and you didn’t actually love me.

Dorilla: Oh, come on now.

Admeto: UGH I JUST GOT THE WORST NEWS

Dorilla: Elmiro, hide before my dad sees us hanging out together! He doesn’t know about us!

Elmiro: Fiiiiine.

Dorilla: So, dad, what’s this terrible news?

Admeto: I just saw this giant snake hanging around the shore and it’s destroying everything in its wake!

Dorilla: That’s terrifying! But don’t worry, I’m sure the gods will protect us.

Admeto: Well, we’re about to find out. I’m going to consult the Oracle to see what we need to do.

Dorilla: Ooooh can I come?

Admeto: Sure, let’s get going. Oh, hey, Nomio.

Nomio: Good morning, your highnesses. Dorilla, don’t you look lovely this evening?

Dorilla: I do, don’t I? Come on, dad, let’s go.

Nomio: Wait, so what’s this about a giant serpent?

Admeto: Yeah, there’s this monster hanging around and it’s starting to terrify everyone.

Nomio: What if I killed it?

Admeto: HAHAHAHA

Nomio: No, really.

Admeto: Well, sweetheart, if you were to kill it, I would certainly come up with some grand reward for you.

Nomio: Cool. Consider it done.

Admeto: Sure, kid, sure.

Nomio: Now that they’re gone I can reveal my true identity. I’m actually Apollo in disguise. I’ve come to Earth in another form to pursue my love. I do this a lot. Which obviously doesn’t invalidate what I’m feeling right now. And what I’m feeling is a great love for Dorilla, even though she’s obviously taken and has no interest in me. But that’s never stopped me before! Maybe if I kill this giant serpent, she’ll fall in love with me.

(In a sacred hollow)

Admeto: Oh sacred Oracle, we call on you to grant us your insight.

Oracle: Oh, that snake? Yeah, you gotta feed it your daughter, then it’ll leave you alone.

Dorilla: WHAT???

Admeto: Oh, the horror! My poor daughter! Well, you heard the Oracle. Come on, Dorilla.

Dorilla: Dad, seriously? You’re not even going to fight this?

Admeto: I’m a king, not a miracle worker.

Dorilla: Alas, my wretched fate! But I suppose it’s the duty of a royal daughter to obey and sacrifice myself for the good of the kingdom. On a side note, you’d think I’d get an aria here, but I don’t even get that. Sigh.

(Back in the pasture)

Elmiro: So what’s the big news?

Dorilla: Well, there’s a giant snake and apparently it has to eat me.

Elmiro: WHAAAAT NOOOOO

Dorilla: I KNOW RIGHT

Elmiro: There’s got to be something we can do!

Dorilla: Well, if you think of anything, let me know. I have to go get tied to a rock now.

Elmiro: Omg this is just the worst. I have to find a way to save her.

Eudamia: Heyyyy beautiful.

Elmiro: Not now, Eudamia.

Eudamia: Come on, aren’t you done giving me the cold shoulder yet?

Elmiro: For the last time, I’m not playing hard to get. I legitimately do not like you the way you like me.

Eudamia: That’s just rude.

Elmiro: It’s the truth. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go save the girl I actually like.

Eudamia: Ugh, men.

Filindo: Eudamia! I love you!

Eudamia: So you say.

Filindo: Aren’t you tired of Elmiro rejecting you over and over? Why don’t you return my affection?

Eudamia: Well, I never really said I didn’t, did I? (Hmm, his devotion might actually come in handy.) How about this: you spy on Elmiro for me; let me know what he’s up to. Then I’ll let you take me on a date.

Filindo: That’s kinda sketch, but sure.

Eudamia: You’re the best!

Filindo: YAAASSSS she likes me!!

(On the shore. Dorilla is tied to a rock.)

Dorilla: Oh, gods, in my last moments, can you not spare any pity for me and my people?

Nomio: I CAN (he slays the serpent)

Dorilla: OMG

Admeto: OMG YAYY MY DAUGHTER IS SAVED

Dorilla: SEE DAD I TOLD YOU THERE’S ALWAYS A LOOPHOLE

Everyone: THANK THE GODS WE HAVE BEEN SAVED

Nomio: Ummmm….over here? Anyone? Anyone?

Act II

(Back in the pasture)

Dorilla: Elmiro!

Elmiro: OMG DORILLA YOU’RE ALIVE

Dorilla: Yes Nomio saved me!! Now you and I can live happily ever after!

Elmiro: Wait, Nomio? You mean that super hot shepherd?

Dorilla: …yes?

Elmiro: What if you go all damsel-in-distress on me and fall in love with the person who saved you?

Dorilla: Oh my god, stop being such a jealous tenor, there’s a reason they wrote you as a mezzo.

Elmiro: Right, sorry.

Admeto: Hey honey! I’ve got great news: you’re marrying Nomio.

Dorilla: Uh, since when?

Nomio: Since I saved your life from the serpent!

Dorilla: I didn’t realize that was part of the deal.

Admeto: Well, it’s only fair. It’s not like I could let you marry a lowly shepherd.

Dorilla: And what exactly is Nomio?

Nomio: A lowly shepherd who just SAVED YOUR LIFE

Dorilla: Okay, fair, but…

Admeto: What’s the matter? As far as I know, you’re not dating anyone.

Eudamia: Actually that’s not true! Filindo, tell them what you found.

Filindo: Um…

Eudamia: Do you love me or not?

Filindo: OKAY FINE so uh I kinda saw Dorilla making out with Elmiro a while back.

Admeto: Dorilla is this true???

Dorilla: Um well are you really going to trust everything that Eudamia says when she obviously has a crush on Elmiro too?

Filindo: Wait she WHAT

Admeto: OKAY WHATEVER I really could not care less. Dorilla, you’re marrying Nomio. End of story.

Dorilla: BUT DAD I DON’T WANT TO

Admeto: I think we established pretty early on that your happiness is not my biggest priority. Now, everyone, let’s put together a big celebration to honor Nomio, since he saved everyone and is going to marry my daughter.

Nomio: Dorilla, will you join me?

Dorilla: Well, I’d rather not.

Nomio: y tho

Dorilla: I’m just not in love with you. Sorry.

Nomio: WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME ugh

Filindo: Eudamia, what was up with that? You said you’d go out with me if I helped you, but this entire time you were making me help you get with Elmiro?

Eudamia: Filindo, my heart is hurting, okay? Leave me alone.

Filindo: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

Eudamia: I never actually said that.

Filindo: FINE I’M DONE WITH YOU WHO NEEDS YOU ANYWAY I’M GOING TO GO CRY I mean I’M GOING TO GO HUNT YOU KNOW KILL SOMETHING LIKE REAL MEN DO WHEN THEY’RE SAD

Everyone: Bring on the food and bring on the hunt! Let’s celebrate the marriage between Nomio and Dorilla!

Dorilla: I guess it’s just going to be a thing huh.

Elmiro: Dorilla, run away with me!

Dorilla: OMG ABOUT TIME

Act III

Admeto: OMG Elmiro ran off with my daughter!!

Filindo: Don’t worry, your majesty, I’ll find them!

Eudamia: Um, what?

Filindo: You wanted me to break them up, didn’t you?

Eudamia: What has gotten into him?

Nomio: I FOUND THEM HERE THEY ARE

Admeto: Dorilla! How dare you disobey me and run away from your husband!

Dorilla: BUT WE’RE NOT EVEN MARRIED YET BESIDES I DON’T LOVE HIM I LOVE ELMIRO

Admeto: OKAY THAT’S IT ELMIRO YOU’RE GOING TO BE SENTENCED TO DEATH

Elmiro: Alas my love! Don’t weep for me! Or, well, do a little so I know you loved me, but not, like, forever.

Dorilla: NO I WOULD RATHER DIE WITH YOU THAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU

Admeto: What the heck is going on?

Dorilla: I refuse to marry Nomio! Just kill me already!

Nomio: OMG THAT’S THE LAST STRAW I AM ROYALLY CHEESED OKAY YOU’RE GOING TO DIE AND YOU’RE GOING TO DIE

Admeto: You don’t actually have the authority to do that, Nomio.

Nomio: YES I DO I OWN THIS PLACE

Admeto: But you’re just a shepherd??

Nomio: …oh. Right. Uh. Excuse me for a minute.

Eudamia: Elmiro, do you really want to just die for the sake of Dorilla? What about me?

Elmiro: Look, I’ve told you, I don’t love you. You’re a cool person, but I’m in love with Dorilla, okay?

Eudamia: FINE THEN JUST DIE

Dorilla: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

Everyone: OMG DORILLA JUST THREW HERSELF INTO THE RIVER

Elmiro: OMG JUST KILL ME NOW OKAY IT’S NOT LIKE THINGS COULD GET ANY WORSE JUST REUNITE ME WITH MY BELOVED

Nomio: EVERYONE SHUT UP okay so I’m actually Apollo right so I’m a literal deux ex machina and I just saved Dorilla and I guess I just have to bless the marriage between her and Elmiro because, you know, True Love™. Also, Eudamia, just go out with Filindo, okay? We all know you have a crush on him.

Eudamia: Okay, fine.

Filindo: FOR REAL?????

Eudamia: Yeah, you’re pretty cute.

Filindo: Yeah I am!!!!

Elmiro: Dorilla, my love!

Dorilla: Elmiro, my love!

Nomio: Well, I guess it’s back to Olympus for me.

Everyone: Dude literally no one cares we all know you’re going to be doing this all over again with another girl next week.

Nomio: …that’s fair.

Everyone: HOORAY FOR TRUE LOVE TODAY IS A GREAT DAY

The end

#sorry i had to #Dorilla in Tempe #Antonio Vivaldi #Antonio Maria Lucchini #opera #Baroque opera #opera tag

1 note · View note

teamhook · 4 years

Text

The Orphanage ~~ CS AU

I wanna thank @ultraluckycatnd for letting me talk things over, unleash my crazy and helping me when I got stuck. She also checked it over. @gingerchangeling for Betaing and being patient with me. She’s the sweetest!

Never enough eyes to look over a fic, specially if it’s mine.

FFN

AO3

A/N: Not all beginnings are happy, but sometimes the journey makes the end worthwhile.

The Orphanage

Convent of the Sisters of Saint Meissa

The orphanage's dull, colorless walls framed with religious artifacts and idols left little to hope for. The old orphanage was stuck in time without the luxuries of the modern world which currently served as a residential group home for the small towns and surrounding area. The children ranged in age from toddlers to teenagers. This was the place you came when no one wanted you. Emma Swan was one such lost girl.

The young blonde girl had moved from family to family. Once upon a time she had been adopted and had a home. Her happiness didn't last, though. She was soon returned when the family had been blessed with a biological child of their own.

Emma would sneak to the garden to gaze at the buttercups; the colors in sharp contrast to the inside of the archaic building. The garden that night was filled with the aroma of the sweet flowers. The stars and the moon lightly illuminated the colorful blossoms. That is where she first saw him.

The translucent outline of a young child.

She could make out his brown hair, pale skin, and hazel eyes. Her curiosity pulled her to the boy. The closer she got, the colder her surroundings became. She could see her breath as she called out to him. "Hey, who are you?" she asked curiously.

The boy only smiled. "Hello, my name is Henry. Can I be your friend?"

Emma couldn't stop her smile. She didn't have any friends at all; the other kids bullied her by calling her names or taking her things. She had told Mother Superior on them, but that only made things worse.

Nothing else mattered. She had her friend Henry and that was all she needed. He gave her hope. They played together; their favorite game was hide and seek.

The other kids would look at her oddly. The name-calling hadn't been creative, mostly calling her crazy or making fun of her imaginary friend. It should scare her that no one else could see her friend but instead, she felt special. He would only appear to her. Mother Superior would tell the kids that there was nothing wrong with having an imaginary friend.

Henry would encourage her to dream. He would tell her to believe in herself as he did. Following her best friend's advice, she recorded a short song on an old audio tape recorder she found but was interrupted by an older girl in the group. "Poor little Emma, do you really think you are good enough?" the mean girl asked with crossed arms as she glanced at the paper advertisement for a singing competition. "Don't you know Emma? No one wants to hear an orphan sing and you will be alone forever like the rest of us. You are not special." The mean girl walked out of the room.

Emma stared at the ad and crumpled it. "Emma, don't listen to her. She is just jealous because she knows how special you are." Henry smiled as he stood in front of her.

Throughout the rejection, she maintained hope because of her old friend. She never felt alone. Henry had become her constant, her rock.

Sadly there were days when she couldn't shake the feeling of not belonging.

On a fine day, a day that should be a happy day, eleven-year-old Emma and the other younger kids watch as a little girl left in a car for her new home with her adoptive parents. Mother Superior stands next to Emma, as the young girl stared with longing after the family now fading away into the horizon. "Emma, you will have a family someday too."

Once Emma is back in her room she cannot help but mourn for the dream that is slowly dying as she grows older.

The cold gust of air announces her oldest friend's arrival. "Henry, I wanna be alone."

The boy's image solidifies as he smiles at her. "Emma, someday you will have the home you deserve. Once I had a family too, but it wasn't full of love. My mother gave me up to give me my best chance. She was young and fell in love with someone that only wanted to take advantage of her. She left me in a basket outside the door of this very orphanage. I was adopted as a baby but my mother never loved me," Henry sadly confessed. "That is why I'm here. She liked to push me to conquer my fears and one time she pushed too far." He shrugged.

"Oh, Henry." Emma wanted to hug her friend. "How do you know all of this?"

"I don't know how but I just know. I believe that is why I'm here." His form started fading, "I'll leave you alone now. Just remember that you will find the home you deserve. I'll help you find it." He was gone. She knew in her heart that he was right but the pain lingered a while longer.

~~~At Age Thirteen

She had tried to fill the void. She had been placed at several foster homes as she was getting older but nothing stuck. Sometimes she would run away. Or towards something. She still didn't know which one it was.

On one of those occasions, Emma finds herself living on the streets. She is ripping out pages from a fairytale book she had found in the trash. She starts burning the pages to keep warm. As she reaches the page from The Ugly Duckling story, an old friend makes an appearance, although he's clearer than normal. Henry smiles fondly at her. "Emma, stop. Don't do it. You are a lot like that duckling. I think that is why your name is so fitting. This story is about transformation." He smiles. "Do you know what that duckling turns into? A beautiful Swan."

Emma returns the smile and whispers, "I think the duckling was always a swan and didn't know it."

"You might be right but I think she turned into a swan because of the power of belief, and if someone believes in something hard enough, they can change their fate. Emma, if you don't want to be with those families, Mother Superior will always have a place for you at the convent."

~~~At Age Sixteen

Emma becomes a beautiful young lady but somehow that doesn't make life easier for her. Some of the homes interested in her have less than genuine concern for her well being. All they care about is the money they get paid for keeping her. Once she becomes more trouble than she is worth is sent back to the orphanage. She keeps to herself to stay away from trouble but inevitably it finds her. Whether it be harassment from the other kids or unwanted attention from the husbands and the wives turning a blind eye to the unwanted touches, Henry is always with her protecting her. He saves her, always interrupting at the perfect moment with a loud door slam, breaking things; whatever it takes to stop the advances.

Emma decides that it's time to make her own luck. She hops on a bus to Arizona. In Phoenix, she enters a store, her stomach growling. She goes to steal a box of Poptarts, which are her favorite. She notices a girl watching her, but the latter quickly walks away. Emma goes back to the task at hand, food. She conceals the box of pastries in her jacket. Emma slowly begins her escape when a store employee stops her and is about to call Security. The other girl comes to the rescue approaching Emma with a shopping cart smiling. "Thanks for waiting while I went to go get the card to pay for the food. Did you find them?" The employee doesn't seem to believe them. "Come on, let's go pay." The girl encourages Emma to follow her and discreetly put the Poptarts in the cart. The employee follows them to the checkout where the girl pays with a credit card. Emma was relieved that her cover wasn't blown.

Once outside, Emma tells the girl "Thanks for helping me."

"No problem, my name is Lily. What's yours?"

"Emma."

They become friends. Emma assumes Lily is like her, an unwanted orphan. They both notice a man following them, and Emma believes he is a social worker trying to return Lily to her group home. They manage to lose the man. They find a vacant home that they decide to squat in for the night.

Inside the house while they're playing home, Emma notices a star imprint on Lily's wrist. Lily tells her it makes her special so she draws a matching one on Emma's wrist. The two girls smile at each other. While exploring the house, they find a video camera and record themselves pledging friendship forever.

Later that night, somehow the man that was following them tracked them down. Annoyed, Emma confronts the man as he exits his car. "We are not going back!"

The man smiles. "I'm here to take my daughter home. We have been worried sick."

Emma is shocked. "Daughter? You are not here to take her back to her foster family?"

"No, she is our daughter."

Emma feels betrayed. She walks to Lily. "Your father is here for you."

Emma doesn't stop walking as she leaves her friend behind.

Lily screams out Emma's name but is ignored.

Emma rubs off the star Lily had drawn on her wrist.

She misses Henry; he hasn't shown up for some time now. Perhaps he finally tired of her.

A few months later Emma's new foster family already had two boys. Things are going well. In fact they're even taking her on her first camping trip the following morning. She is so excited that she decides to go pack to be ready. While she is packing she is searching the garage for her sleeping bag and finds Lily hiding out there. Emma can't believe she is there. Emma hisses, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry, but I didn't lie about being an orphan. We are alike. The difference is that I was adopted.''

Emma scoffs. "We are not alike. I don't have a family," she sniffles. "No one cares if I run away, no one will come looking for me. So no we are not alike. You should leave before my foster parents see you."

Sadly it's too late.

"Emma, did you find the sleeping bag?" her foster father asked as he approached the garage. He reaches the garage and stares at Emma and Lily. "Who is this?"

"Oh hi, my name is Lily. I'm new to the neighborhood."

Lily's ease at lying should have been a warning to Emma, and it led to Emma begging Lily to leave. The girl refused to leave without her missing crescent moon necklace. Lily's true colors were shown when she steals from Emma's foster family After a few calls, her foster father finds out the truth. Her new foster father had been furious that she had knowingly allowed a criminal near his children. By the end of the night, Emma was left with nothing. Emma grabs her things and runs. At the bus station, Lily approaches her to apologize but Emma doesn't want to hear it. Lily begs her to stay together that she is the only light in her life. Emma walks away from Lily one final time.

Months later Emma ends up in a group home in Richfield, Minnesota. Somehow the camera was still in her possession. One of the older boys noticed it and wanted to take it away from her. She screamed for him to let go of it. Miss Fisher had quickly intervened and promptly returned the camera to Emma. Once the foster mother returned to her activities before the altercation the bully warned Emma of the consequences of not turning over the camera to him. Emma still refused to give it to him. That night she is caught mid escape by Sarah the foster mom. In a moment of conspiracy between the two she tells Emma that the boy is afraid of spiders and where she can find some rubber spiders. Emma decides to stick around. Maybe she is home.

Sometime later, while Emma is at a carnival with Sarah alone, Sarah tells Emma that she is a special girl. Emma starts to feel nervous. She had seen papers from an agency in Sarah's purse. Emma assumes this treat is a goodbye. However, Sarah confesses that she wants to adopt her. Sarah knows Emma might not see her as a mother, but she will be happy to be like an older sister to her. Everything seems to be falling into place for her and she remembers Henry always told her that she would find a home. She misses Henry terribly but she still feels him with her.

The pair are waiting for their bus ride. Suddenly Sarah pushes her in front of oncoming traffic. Before she can think, Emma is pushed onto the sidewalk by an unseen force- Henry. Emma glares at Sarah and flees after realizing that Sarah Fisher is a lunatic who never truly loved her. Emma runs away and never returns.

Seventeen-year old Emma ends up in Portland, OR after getting emancipated before she turns eighteen. She notices an old yellow bug. The car is an antique, she rationalizes; no one would miss it. She is about to break into the car when a whisper stops her. "Emma, don't do it."

She pauses, "Henry?"

"Emma, please don't do it. This will not lead you to your happy ending." Emma's breath hitches, and she slowly walks away from the vehicle. The decision is easy to make because she trusts her only friend.

Minutes later, inside the same yellow car's backseat a man wakes up from a nap.

Across the sea, three men say goodbye to a loved one. The younger two hold each other as their tears fall. The older man, stands behind them promising undying devotion to the boys he now considers his. "My lovely Alice, I promise to take care of your boys as if they were mine. I will guide them and ensure for them to be good men," Dakkar Nemo pledges his lost love. He had met Alice Jones shortly after her husband abandoned her with two young sons. The youngest of the two was only a few months old when he met them, but he was now 17 years old. The slightly older man had become smitten with the young mother soon after their first meeting. Alice had gotten cancer. She had won a few battles but overall lost the war. After her death, in order to start over and provide the young men with a fresh start they leave England and travel to the United States.

Dakkar Nemo had had an exceptional Naval career. He retired not long after he lost his love, and was able to start a successful business in America. They had found their new home in Storybrooke, Maine.

Although Alice Jones had never married Dakkar Nemo, her two boys had grown to love the man that doted on their beloved mother.

The eldest boy enlists in the Navy following in his father's steps. The youngest decided to stay in their new home.

~~~At Age Twenty-One

Emma continues her life of petty crime, just enough to survive on. For years she was able to get away with it. While traveling back to the Maine area where she was found as a baby, she asks an old lady at the local diner for information about anyone who might remember the incident, but she receives nothing. Escaping her troubled past with the law just in time, each time it catches up with her.

She was so close to the orphanage she had called home in her youth. While at the local library she was so lost in her research she didn't notice an older woman sitting down next to her. The lady looked over Emma's shoulder guessing that the abandoned baby was Emma. A startled Emma turns to leave. "I know you stole from stores in Portland and you finally got arrested and skipped bail."

Emma looks back at the woman and tenses; she has a feeling the woman wants to apprehend her. Emma does what she has learned to do best and runs, leaving her research behind. The woman catches up with Emma at the bus station. A defeated Emma goes with the woman, whose name she learned is Cleo.

They go to a motel. Cleo handcuffed her bounty to the bedpost, and decides to jump in the shower.

While the bondswoman is in the shower Emma picks the handcuffs lock easily and steals money from Cleo's wallet. Emma finds an old picture of a girl she suspects is the woman's daughter. Emma is about to leave, but she spots Cleo's laptop which has access to courthouse documents. She does some quick browsing, and discovers the Camden County Courthouse has a file on her.

Cleo gets out of the restroom to find Emma staring at the computer screen. In a moment of weakness, Cleo decides to help her. Emma reminds her of her daughter. They drive to Camden to get the file. "Emma, this file might not have the answers you are looking for or want to see.."

Emma looks at the woman, "I have to try."

Even with Cleo's help the search had been pointless. No solid leads to follow. Days had become weeks and Cleo notices the disappointment in Emma each time they reached a dead end.

"Do you see this?" Cleo points to her red jacket.

"Yeah, what about it? It's just a jacket."

"No Emma, this is my armor. You need to learn how to protect yourself."

Emma's tear-filled eyes, "I just want to go home."

"Emma, I think you should let go of the past, your parents. Sweetie, you're not going to find them. You should pay for your crimes, and start a new life."

"You don't care about me. All you care about is your payout for taking me in."

Cleo stares at Emma, her guilt over giving up her daughter is haunting her.

"I'm going to help you."

"Why would you want to help me?"

"You remind me of my daughter." With those words, Cleo decides to take Emma under her wing. Cleo had gotten some legal help and in the end, Emma was only given community service since her petty crimes had not been too costly.

Emma convinces Cleo to look for her daughter.

"What if she doesn't want to see me?"

"If I was her…. Hell I am her! If I was in her shoes, I'd want to see my parents," Emma says sadly. "It won't be easy but isn't she worth it?"

Working together they soon find Cleo's daughter, Tasha Morris. They find her in Boston working in a clothing store. The reunion is a whirlwind of emotions at first but in the end, it's the calm after the storm.

A few years later they go into business together using their combined savings to open a bonds company, Fox Swan Armour Bonds and PI. They stay in Boston in order for Cleo to stay close to her daughter. Emma understands why they don't want to be apart.

Henry has been quiet since Cleo found her. But Emma tries to not let the yearning of a family of her own haunt her.

~~~At Age Twenty-Four

Things were good for Emma. She was part of a successful business, and Cleo and Tasha were the closest thing to family she had. But something was still missing.

Chasing after her newest skip, a wannabe writer, Emma ends up in a small town in Maine. Storybrooke by all accounts appeared to be straight out of a fairy tale. Perhaps that is what drew the writer to it. He had a good lead on her and she was losing him as she was approaching the corner. Should she go straight or turn the corner? Emma turn - a voice from the past tells her. She turns, except now she's not running into her skip, but a different man as they collide. They both fall and her skip is gone.

Emma mutters, "Shit" as she turns to the cause of her lost paycheck.

Beautiful blue eyes stare up at her from his spot on the floor. He turns to gather his things. "Lass, I'm sorry about that."

"Yeah, well he got away," she sighs dramatically. "What's all that?" she asked as she pointed at the objects he was putting in a box. Some hooks, an iron wolf, and other decorative items.

"Just some of my work," he says as he finally rises to his feet and extends his free hand for her to hold.

She hesitates for a second before he is pulling her up. "So what do you do?"

"I'm a blacksmith."

"What are you, two hundred or something?"

He laughs. "It's mostly artistic work with iron. I do what blacksmiths did in the old days too when needed."

"How about you, lass? What were you in such a hurry to capture?"

"Well, I'm a bail bonds person, and I was chasing a big pay day. He gave me the slip. I will get him, it's just going to take longer than I wanted."

"Ah, you're a tough lass. I'm sure you will get your man." He looked at his box. Nothing seemed damaged. "I'm sorry, where are my manners. My name is Killian Jones."

She smiled. "I'm Emma Swan. I guess I better go. It was nice meeting you. Sort of." She was about to walk away, this time in the opposite direction.

"Swan, if you're going to stick around, you should go to Granny's Inn. That's the only hotel in town. Unless your man has family here, you should probably find him there."

"Yeah, cause I didn't think about that, but thanks." She didn't mean to be snarky. It wasn't his fault she lost the skip. "I'm sure the dude is long gone. I was just going to go see if I could get something to eat. Then, maybe see if I get lucky and get a lead."

"If you don't mind some company, I was going to get lunch myself."

Emma was hungry and the guy had been nice. There's something about him that makes her feel comfortable and apparently her stomach agrees, so it growls. "Okay, so where are we going?"

Killian smiles. "Come along, Granny's Diner is this way." He points in the direction that she was coming from.

Emma vaguely remembers seeing the little diner on her drive into town. It was a quick walk to the diner from where they were. The bell rings as they enter and they find a seat.

"This feels very cozy, very homey."

"Aye, it is. Granny is everyone's grandmum."

"So what do you recommend?"

He looks at her and smiles. "I have a feeling you will love the grilled cheese with onion rings."

The pair enjoys their meal. Killian introduces Emma to the local Sheriff, a greying, good looking mid-forties man, and his perfect counterpart, his bubbly, energetic wife in hopes that he can help with finding the elusive skip.

With the Sheriff and his wife's information on a potential match for her skip, Emma was able to use the background they'd given her to track him down. Turns out the wannabe writer was the adoptive son of the town carpenter. Emma's heart broke for the kind old man as she cuffed his son. She was happy that Sheriff Nolan was there to explain to the man the situation his son, August, was in. Emma had exchanged cards with the Sheriff.

Emma was about to leave the town when Killian stops her to give her a small token. He had one of his first sculptures with him, a swan. She hands him a card just in case he ever needs it.

A couple of days after meeting the young bail bonds woman, the Nolans can't stop thinking about her. Sheriff Nolan was talking with his wife about it. "Sweetheart, I know what you're thinking, and I-" "David, I know what you're going to say. That it's not her and that you don't want me to get my hopes up. I mean we don't know anything about her. But, I can't help it." His wife, Mary Margaret, puts her hand on her heart. "This time, it's different. I feel it here, and it's not because of her name or because she has my chin or that she has your hair. This is it. Our girl found us." She finishes with tears in her eyes.

"Sweetheart, how can you be so sure she's an orphan or ever was?" He didn't want to have to pick up the pieces of her broken heart once more.

"She had a look in her eyes. That look was there when we told her about Marco adopting August as a young boy, and again when we told her he had been getting in trouble with that Cassidy boy, and that the last we saw him was when they stole poor Marco's old yellow Volkswagen and ran away, breaking poor Marco's heart. That was until he showed up here last week. I think that's why she gave them some time to spend together before she hauled him away."

"What are you planning on doing? You can't just tell her, she will think we're crazy."

"The card she gave you says Private Investigator too, right? Well, I'm going to call the number and speak to her boss."

~~~Weeks Later

Back in Boston, Emma can't shake the feeling that she's missing something. She had stayed in touch with both Killian and the Nolans. Killian in particular was never far from her mind, her eyes always landing on the swan sculpture that he had given her that day. On her birthday, she had chosen to stay home. Cleo and Tasha had given her their gifts earlier. Tasha gave her a red leather jacket from the store she worked at. Cleo, for her part, gifted her a paid week off work and insisted, with a wink, that she return to the small town that had her so captivated. All Emma could do was promise she'd think about it.

As Emma was about to light the candle on her twenty-fifth birthday cupcake, there was a soft knock on her door. She wasn't expecting anyone so she approached the door cautiously.

She opened the door and there stood a smiling Killian Jones, with a single red middlemist.

"Uh, Killian, what are you doing here?" Her wide green eyes blinked, before narrowing in suspicion. "And how did you know where I live?".

"Lass, may I come in? I promise I will answer whatever questions you might have." His blinding smile warmed her heart.

"Ok, but don't think I'm taking my eyes off of you for a second."

"I would despair if you did." Killian slowly entered her apartment.

Emma guided him to the sofa in her living room.

"I made a delivery not far from here, and I thought I could surprise you. I hope I'm not overstepping," he sighs.

"So how did you find out my address? I hope you're not some kind of crazy stalker."

He smiles. "I called your office. Your boss said you were off."

"Oh. Cleo told you?"

"She also said today was your birthday."

"Cleo has a big mouth," she sighs. "I always spend my birthday alone."

"She also said you had a week off, and perhaps you would consider going to Storybrooke?" he asked with a hopeful tinge to his voice.

Reluctantly Emma agrees. She feels a connection with the blacksmith that she simply cannot ignore.

Cleo hesitantly agrees to meet with Mary Margaret, where Mary Margaret shares her suspicions about her connection to Emma. Cleo nodded her agreement, saying she will look into it. If she can help Emma find her family like Emma helped her find her lost daughter, she will.

While Emma is in Storybrooke, Cleo visits the Convent of the Sisters of Saint Meissa and speaks with Mother Superior. It had been a miracle to Cleo's ears when they told her that they stored items left behind in the attic. After a few apologies about the oversight from the nuns, they give her a box labeled Emma. Once she is alone in her car, with shaking hands she opens the box. Inside, she finds a blanket with a torn corner just as Mary Margaret described.

Cleo headed towards Storybrooke to meet with Mary Margaret and David Nolan to confirm their suspicions.

Killian and Emma are enjoying their food at Granny's when a text message alert chimes.

"Is something wrong, love?"

"I don't think so, it's Cleo. She wants me to meet her at the Sheriff's office."

"Are you sure nothing is wrong? Your eyebrows are furrowed together," he says, concerned.

"No, it's just that she never calls me on my time off." She sighs, "she's also driving out here."

"If you want, I can go with you," Killian offers.

After a soft encouraging whisper from an old friend she hadn't heard from in a while, without thinking Emma nods.

They arrive at the station soon after.

Sheriff Nolan is waiting for them when he notices the blossoming bond between the town's blacksmith and the lovely bondswoman who happens to share his wife's chin.

Emma turns to Killian nervously. What the hell is going on? Killian squeezes her hand in support as they follow the Sheriff to the interrogation room.

Cleo is sitting next to Mary Margaret Nolan. A box is set on the table. Cleo smiles at her. "Hello, Emma. Please, sit down. You too Mr. Jones."

Killian, always the gentleman, pulled a chair out for her to sit while Mary Margaret is quiet, watching the scene unfold in front of her. David sits next to his wife and immediately holds her hand.

Emma turns to Cleo, "Okay, so what's going on?"

Cleo smiles, "I'll let Sheriff Nolan explain."

Sheriff Nolan clears his throat. "Twenty-five years ago, there were a series of kidnappings. Four newborns were stolen from St. Joseph Hospital during the night shift. The police were able to recover two children right away once the kidnapper was captured. A third was recovered almost a month later. The child had been found by an older couple and they had watched the news. However, there was one child that was not found. Our child. We tried everything. Private Investigators rewards for information, but since the woman had snapped when she took the children, she was of no help to us. She was a nurse at the hospital at the time of the kidnappings. It turned out years before, she had lost her own daughter. Once in custody, though, the woman still remained unresponsive and unwilling to cooperate with police about the whereabouts of the last child. We don't know all the details yet and to be honest, we don't care." David chokes up and turns to his wife, "Mary Margaret could you please continue?"

Mary Margaret sniffles, "We had been on vacation and I went into labor. We never thought that our little girl would be kidnapped at birth. We tried looking for her, but every lead we found was a dead end. Yet we never lost hope. I held on to this for twenty-five years. This is part of a blanket Granny knit for our little girl along with this matching hat." The little hat had twin buttercups on each side.

Cleo smiled, "You will find that the torn piece is a perfect fit to this one." She pulled out a baby blanket with the name Emma with a buttercup next to the name.

Emma is staring at the blanket, her eyes tearing. "What are you saying?"

"Emma, I was so wrong to discourage you from looking. I truly thought I was helping you and protecting you from disappointment. This is your blanket. Mother Superior gave it to me. She was supposed to give it to you, but you never returned."

Killian squeezes her hand gently. "Emma, love, I think you found your family."

"How can you be so sure?" Emma shakingly asks.

Mary Margaret laughs, "For one thing, you have my chin and this is the same blanket I wrapped you in as a baby. But if you need more proof, I'm sure we can get a DNA test. I don't need it, we don't need it." Mary Margaret points to her husband.

Emma still cannot believe it. "I-"

Killian smiles. "Emma, when you love someone you just know."

"I think I need a moment." Emma gets up and rushes out of the room.

Emma walked to her car and needed to think. While contemplating a place to go, she hears footsteps approaching. "Swan, I know you said you needed a moment alone but I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I took you to the perfect spot. If you would allow me to accompany you?" Emma stares at him with teary eyes and agrees.

Emma and Killian arrive at Storybrooke Heritage Park and walk to his favorite bench by the duck pond. They sit in silence as they watch a family of swans swim.

Emma turns to Killian, "I can't believe it's real."

Killian smiles. "It's real. I had wondered why they didn't have kids and Granny told me they had a little girl but it wasn't her story to tell. Emma love, you deserve this. They deserve it too. Please, don't shut them out."

"No, it's just I always wondered why I wasn't enough but I never thought that they were suffering as much as I was."

Killian slowly grabs her face and gently wipes the tears away. "The wondering is over, and now you can have the family you always wanted. Give them a chance, don't lose more time."

Emma smiled, she knew he was right. As crazy as it sounds, it wasn't their fault. Some unbalanced lady did this to them. Should she feel bad for that lady? Because mental issues are horrible, but in this moment she didn't.

"Okay, we can go back." Emma grabbed Killian's hand.

On the way back to the station, she couldn't help but be thankful for meeting Killian; he was nice and sweet. She wasn't blind, he was handsome. She felt connected to him and it was beyond the physical attraction.

Killian could feel her eyes on him. He fights the urge to run his hand through his hair to scratch behind his ear. He feels connected to her. He had laughed when the thought first occurred to him. It was crazy, they've known each other for such a short period. He was smitten, though; that was a given.

Once back at the station, Emma hesitantly embraces her parents for the first time.

Cleo advises her to stick around in Storybrooke longer to get to know her family.

After a few months of living with her parents, Emma finally gives in. She moves permanently to Storybrooke, her life is here. She has loving parents and she had started dating Killian. Their first date had been an experience. Her mother had been so excited, they had gone shopping for a dress to wear and had taken so many pictures of her and Killian. Emma wore a light pink dress that had a v neckline with a bodice and belt. Killian wore his dark jeans, a black shirt, and vest. Her father had done the overprotective thing even though he has known Killian longer than her. She acted like it bothered her, but deep inside it made her smile.

One year and a short courtship later, Emma and Killian marry in an intimate wedding at Storybrooke Park Heritage. Family and close friends gathered to congratulate the pair.

Nine months later they welcome twins Hope and Henry Jones. The little girl shared her dazzling blue eyes with Killian. The boy had hazel eyes that reminded her of an old friend.

This was a new beginning for them all.

Tagging:

@hookedonapirate @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @seriouslyhooked @profdanglaisstuff @let-it-raines @revanmeetra87 @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @kymbersmith-90 @branlovestowrite @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @ilovemesomekillianjones @killianjonesownsmyheart1 @thisonesatellite @thesschesthair @winterbythesea @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @artistic-writer @thislassishooked @shardminds @winterbaby89 @xhookswenchx

#Captain Swan #CS Crew #CS Mafia #cs au ff #cs ff

40 notes · View notes

stachmousworld · 4 years

Text

Death

Summary: Tony’s first death and why he chose to be a better man.

This is the third installment of my universe A. You can read the previous oneshots to understand better the universe:

Dear Dad, fuck you

Punishments

Tag: mention of medical procedure, torture canon to Iron man 1

Tony’s first death was more of a surprise to him. A few minutes earlier and he was joking in the fun-vee with some soldiers and in the span of a second, everything went awry.

A bomb exploded. An ambush, he thought. He asked for a gun to the soldier next to him, only to witness his death.

He succeeded in getting out of the car and crawled to the nearest hiding point. A boulder. He tripped and fell. A bomb landed next to him. The last think he saw was the logo of his own company.

Darkness.

Before he was tortured, waterboarded, required to build a bomb, a little before he met Yinsen, Tony had died. He couldn’t tell if it’d been a matter of seconds, minutes or hours, only that nothing hurt anymore.

They cut him open, had their hands deep in his chest, and his heart stuttered. They installed the battery, and yet, he didn’t even register the pain from all of it. No. His eyes, wide open, stared at two people: and mammina. He cried at the sight of them, holding each of his hand and singing to him. He couldn’t believe it. They were there and they could physically touch him.

Tears ran down his temples to his hair. So, that’s the end, he thought peacefully. Pepper, Rhodey, Darius, Ahmaud, Kareem, Joseph, Janice…

“’m sorry”, he croaked.

It wasn’t the first Death was at his doorstep, silently waiting for him to open. He had many low points where he stood, hand on the doorknob ready to go. This time, it wasn’t his doing. The door opened from outside.

His heart stopped.

The room swirled and darkened. He was flying in a cocoon. Everything felt warm and soft. Tony closed his eyes and basked in the feeling of peace.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. Fresh grass, apples and cinnamon.

The second thing was the softness under his head.

The third, the sound of a river and someone humming above him. Then, realization downed him. He was dead. He felt no dread, no relief at that thought. It was weird. He tried to think of Howard. No anger, no sadness. He made a list of everyone close to him and only love spurted from his heart. He still had his memories. Howard’s abuse was still present in his head and yet, he didn’t react at all like usual. He didn’t need a drink or losing himself in his lab. All he needed was to let go…

“What a handsome man you have become, my Tesero.” A voice he hadn’t heard in a decade muttered softly above him.

Tony clenched his fists and shook his head vehemently. It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be true, he repeated silently. He was sure, when he’d open his eyes, he’d be alone or worse, he’d see Howard and Maria standing in front of him. If Hell existed, it was a place where Tony should be.

A soft hand pressed his cheeks, then forehead.

“You do know that he can’t be sick, Hun’”

Tony choked up. Nononono…it couldn’t be happening. It had to be a trick, maybe from the Devil. Because mammina and babbo couldn’t be in Hell. It was impossible.

“Well, I don’t know. I’m still not an expert in these kinds of cases. But…he is not supposed to be here.”

“And how do you know that? Did a little bird tell you that?”

“I can still sock you in the face, my dear Husband,” she replied through gritted teeth.

“Hm.” He replied petulantly.

“Dying really did a number on you! Can’t you be nice, for a second?”

“I was nice during our whole marriage, and you left me…to raise those demons’ children, you called angels,” he screamed.

Mammina sighed.

“You really can’t let that go? I didn’t choose to die. And remember you were the one who fustigated me when I was exhausted at the end of the day after educating OUR kids and going to work. You were the one who told me, ‘I could raise them all by myself just fine. I don’t know what you’re complaining for.’ You brought that on yourself.”

groaned and mumbled something under his breath.

“Yeah, I thought so…”

Tony didn’t let his guard down even though the banter made him giggle. It reminded him too much of all the times they used to argue about trivialities. At the end they always made up. always. He felt something soft and pillory pressed against his forehead. Warm air caressed his face.

“Is he dead?” asked abruptly. There was now a small weight on Tony’s legs. He tried to relax but couldn’t help but tense. It reminded him of his little niece and nephews. The warmth, the weight and the little wriggling, everything reminded him of a child. But…none of them died…right? It couldn’t be real…it couldn’t be real…

“No. Yes. Not really. I don’t know. Do I look like God?”

didn’t reply. That was a win for Mammina. Tony had never seen her lose a fight when God’s or his children were concerned.

“Are you ready to open your eyes, Cinderella, or will you pretend to sleep forever?”

Tony scrunched his nose and opened one eyelid. The pensive face of mammina was scrutinizing his face. She raised an eyebrow and smiled softly. He opened the other eye and jumped on her. She didn’t even budge but accepted the embrace as forceful as him. He sniffed her perfume and wept profusely.

“There, there, my little Tonio, it’s okay.”

“Don’t lie to the poor lad, this ain’t okay, at all.”

“Cameron! You really are on a roll. It is not my fault that you pissed off a cherub and got changed into one for a day. I told you, he was one of God’s servant. You should have been more polite.”.

“I only said he looked chubby!” Cameron cried dramatically. “Who gets offended when being called chubby? They are literally babies!”

“And now you are one, so how does it feel, chubby baby.”

Cameron wailed loudly, feet stumping on the grass. Tony looked around and saw a river on their left, Mammina was sitting against a tree and talking to…Tony eyes widened, and a rough laugh escaped his opened mouth.

“Babbo! You are a chubby baby!” he exclaimed, in shock.

Said Babbo wailed louder. He was sitting on his legs, in the body of a 2-year-old baby and wearing a kind of drape. He had two small multicolor wings which looked like stained glass. So, the extra weight was him. As a child.

“You see you don’t like it, either. Maybe next time, you won’t talk about anyone’s body.”

Cameron waved his arms in precise movement and a few sparks appeared, before dying. He threw himself on the floor and rolled, arms and legs moving erratically. His wails grew louder if that was possible.

“I can’t even curse him for his afront!”

Mammina rolled her eyes. Tony looked at her scared. What kind of acid trip was he on? Was that Hell? A big trip where nothing made sense? He shook his head and settled in mammina’s arms.

“Don’t listen to this fool, Cucciolo, dying didn’t make him more mature, I’m afraid, he lost his brain.”

She gazed down and gasped at his chest. Tony followed her eyes and saw blood pouring out of his t-shirt. He couldn’t even feel pain. It felt weird to know that he should be suffering but didn’t. How did they not notice the blood? How did he not notice the vital liquids escaping his body quickly, tainting at the same, mammina?

“Oh Tony, what’s happening?”

“Bomb.”

A few flaps of wings and he finally noticed her own set. They were huge and gorgeous. The color was a deep blue midnight. They looked shiny and soft. As she opened them, he saw two golden circle, representing an ouroboros (snake biting its own tail), on each wing. He raised a hand to caress them. Yep. They felt as soft as he thought.

“Hey! Mine are better than hers,” Cameron complained.

Tony chuckled. He was now so tired. His eyelids blinked slowly. As he caressed Cameron’s wings, he expressed the absurdity of the situation and whether it was his own tormented mind, which created that scenery.

“You got a family?” Mammina suddenly asked.

“Yes, and I will see them when I leave here, and you?” Cameron asked.

“No,” Mammina replied solemnly, with a hint of sadness.

“So, you’re a man who has everything…and nothing.” Cameron concluded.

As darkness came over him, he heard them telling him they loved him.

Pain erupted in his chest. He woke up with a man by his side. Ho Yinsen. He helped him, healed him and as they created his Mark I suit, words came out of his mouth without thinking.

“You got a family?”

He cringed. Why would he choose to ask this question?

“Yes, and I’ll see them when I leave here, and you?”

“No.”, Tony replied simply. Memories of Mammina and a cherub Cameron troubling his thought. Was that real? Had he died and saw them? He analyzed the gauntlet in his hand. Would that even work? He emerged in time to hear Yinsen’s reply.

“So, you’re a man who has everything…and nothing.”

No, it wasn’t true. He wanted to go back in time and tell him that yes, he had a family. People who appreciated him, even though he hadn’t seen them in months, maybe years. Shame rolled onto him. After “seeing” his parents, he couldn’t pretend being right. If they had asked him about his brothers and sister what could he have replied? “I spent most my 20’s doing sex and drugs and didn’t call nor reach out to them. The fleeting hope that he could go back to them at any time had passed through his mind many times. He had considered driving to them, but then stopped, sitting in the car, keys in his hand.

Shame did that. Fear of rejection. A bundle of insecurities. After mammina’s death, he had wanted to make the world a better place for them. And here he was…

He stared at Yinsen for a few minutes and smiled. For the first time, he was sure of one thing. He’ll do everything to make the future better.

Fin.

Mother masterrliiiisssstt ✨✨✨🐱‍🏍

#part 1 #tony stark #adoptee #adoptive family #black family #black woman #black woman character #angst with a happy ending #yinsen #iron man #tortured #afterlife #a new hope #joke

4 notes · View notes

sometimesrosy · 5 years

Text

please abbreviate name and ship

Anonymous said:I’m not trying to be rude as I know you ship Bellarke, but can you explain why you think L/xa was manipulative towards Clarke and why you disliked their relationship? I just don’t see it that way and I would like to hear a different perspective.

Am I ready to go into this? Ok. First, I’m not taking offense. I don’t have a problem discussing different interpretations, however, fandom has a problem with me doing so, which is why I ask everyone to abbreviate Lxa and CL, so that I don’t show up in their ship or stan tags, not because I am disrespecting the character or ship, but because I honestly don’t want the harassment to start up all over again. The history of me and the cl shippers is ugly, with me mostly trying to stay out of it and them coming after me like I was trying to poison their puppy. All the puppies. The CL fandom had a name for me. It was “The Devil.” So you should know that.

Let me begin by telling you that I am the survivor of domestic abuse, and stared watching this show after finally kicking my emotionally, psychologically and economically abusive ex husband out of the house, and what I saw in CL was a reflection of my own relationship, aka, not healthy. I resonated with it as a woman with PTSD recovering from abuse. I tried to explain this in fandom but was ignored and erased and called a lesbophobe instead. I am not. I am an abuse survivor who cares about understanding and unpacking abusive relationships and empowering victims. Abuse is not limited to m/f relationships.

I need to make it clear that my interpretation of CL does not invalidate the interpretation of CL as an epic romance, fantasy story, or wlw empowerment tale. Those are all valid and I recognize the need for the wlw community to have the same kind of stories that straight people have always had, and CL within The 100 was SO CLOSE to being the epic fantasy that was needed. But the canon proved that it never was a romance genre story that allows... DEMANDS the happy ever after ending. So The 100 was a great disappointment to the fans. It failed to give them what they were looking for. CL was a LOT like a very traditional M/F romantic trope that does end up with a HEA lovestory ending, the captive princess and heroic warrior king story. So it’s no wonder they read it as an epic romance just like the ones they’ve been seeing for m/f romances for centuries... MILLENNIA.

That said, I’m going to put my analysis under the jump, because I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want to hear it have it appear on their dash. This is an entirely opt-in meta, and if reading something critical of a ship you love or like is not what you want to do, then please be a responsible consumer of media and do not opt in.

okay, so op, I GET why you see nothing wrong with this romantic dynamic. I was like you once, and I thought the warrior/princess dynamic was sexy and romantic and the fantasy of being taken away from all your problems so you didn’t have to deal is A+. But ever since I was IN a relationship like that, and realized it wasn’t about love or romance, but rather about power and control, I cannot, AT ALL, find it attractive. It’s painful and harmful to be in. And it’s not great for the dominant lover, either, tbh.

Please note: I do not have a problem with them being wlw. NOT the problem. I’ve been involved with the lgbt community since 1988. I am bisexual, demiace and androgynous myself and my sister was in a long term relationship with a woman and I like other wlw ships just not this one--because for me, it reproduces a harmful m/f romantic trope. When I find m/f ships like this I don’t love them EITHER. (reylo is just as filtered out of my dash as cl is.) So that’s a lot of explaining why I disliked their relationship and it has to do with my experience in an abusive relationship that was about power and domination and how I learned that that is NOT love. So now I’m just gonna make some points about where there was manipulation in the the relationship, some of which came before romance, some of which was the ‘courtship.’

when they first met, L posed on the throne and blamed her for killing the army she’d sent to destroy the delinquents. Clarke WON the battle that L started, and she acted like that was murder. no.

When L told Clarke that Finn would die for HER. although her actions had nothing to do with his massacre.

When L told her that Finn’s mercy killing would haunt Clarke forever.

When L told Clarke that love was a weakness. That is the WORST advice ever and anyone who still stanned L after that nonsense... i just don’t understand why y’all have no sense. I knew from the start that was a sign that L was “in the wrong.” it is CLEARLY a bad life philosophy. (made much worse that she began a courtship with Clarke after using her philosophy to cut Clarke off from her people, thus leaving only HER love as worthy? IDK. But that’s after this timeline.)

When Clarke came running to save TonDC and Lxa from the bombs, and Lxa COERCED Clarke into letting them bomb the village. This was the first REAL sign to me that this relationship was manipulative and abusive and it wasn’t a relationship yet. They weren’t even friends yet. And Lxa used Clarke’s guilt over Finn and LOVE for Bellamy to rush her into a decision that benefitted LXA’s political agenda, to get rid of the troublesome rivals on the coalition. She used methods with Clarke that were the same exact thing that my ex used to do to me. She told her that she had no time to argue, although there was time for L’s argument, and there were no other solutions although Clarke offered like three separate ones (setting a fire as the probable most effective.) That was NEVER Clarke’s decision. Lxa COERCED her. And MANIPULATED her.

WORSE after it was done, LXA BLAMED HER FOR IT. Said it was her action. Forced her to keep it a secret (which only benefitted LXA.) Then tried to kill Octavia.

Look I totally understand why Lxa was besotted with Clarke. She’s amazing. But she started pursuing her when Clarke was dependent upon Lxa’s army and goodwill.

She started pushing her about her FEELINGS for Bellamy when they were military allies, AFTER telling her about how her political enemies used her love for Costia to control her, and KILLED her for it. So here she is, a political...associate, questioning her about someone she thinks she loves, after telling her that love is a weakness. Pushing her feelings for Bellamy as a what? Vulnerability? Way to control her? RIVAL FOR HER ROMANTIC ATTENTIONS?

Then Lxa KISSES HER. IN the MIDDLE OF A CAMPAIGN? Can you freaking imagine? The woman with all the power, who Clarke depends upon for the life of her loved ones, essentially her “boss,” in a way. She makes a move on her. Think about this. “I like you, oh by the way, i hold your people’s life in my hand, so you should come live with me.” Dude. That’s not a sweet romance, it’s sexual harassment.

Just to bring it to a point. Clarke rejects her advances and then THE NEXT WORDS are “he did it,” because Bellamy has sent up the signal, victorious warrior (rival) and get’s all Clarke’s attention. What happens then? Oh yeah.

ON the verge of WINNING the freaking mountain completely, Lxa SELLS HER ROMANTIC RIVAL (bellamy) and Clarke’s people, who proved far more formidable and successful than she expected and so are a politcal threat to her, to her GENERATIONAL ENEMIES. and then. get this.

AND THEN SHE INVITES HER TO COME LIVE WITH HER AGAIN. Oh hey babe, since your people are destroyed and your boyfriend is dead, wanna come to my place? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

And no, despite all the people who tried to argue that was a WISE political move, no the hell it wasn’t. It was the path to her demise. She broke faith with her allies, not just sky crew but also the coalition and they took her down for it.

In addition, Lxa herself admitted that was her biggest regret. That was her biggest mistake. WRONG DECISION. Weak leader. And a betrayal.

THEN 3 months later, she kidnaps her and imprisons her. This is not romance. This is not protection. If it WERE protection, she would have sent her back to her people. She was a prisoner. This is not a romantic situation.

Oh when she told her how PATIENT she’d been for ALLOWING her to not talk to her for two weeks. Bitch. You have her in prison. You aren’t patient. You aren’t kind. You kidnapped her. After your betrayal. YOU’RE the one who should be begging for her forgiveness. Instead you’re acting like she’s an immature child. What?

She then gaslighted her and told her she didn’t do anything wrong when she betrayed her and she did the same thing anyone would do, in fact, LXA wasn’t the betrayer, CLARKE was the betrayer. She turned her OWN sins around and blamed them on Clarke. She did it. We saw her did it. We saw how she forced Clarke’s hand and made her choose between TERRIBLE choices.

Then she FORCES her to bend the knee so she doesn’t murder all of sky crew. That was not romantic. That was force.

And she offers her own private bent knee ceremony with no witnesses and promises we all know she won’t keep because she has no honor and no one there to make sure she does what she promises.

WHICH IS WHY Clarke can’t leave. Because no one else will make sure she keeps her promises.

AND THEN we get to the carrot part of the carrot and stick part of manipulation. You can leave and I’ll kill all your people, or you can STAY and get nice clothes and a safe room and good food and music and be treated like a pampered bird in a golden cage. Do what I say? Get nice things. Just because you are being given nice things and treated nicely doesn’t mean it’s not manipulation and you aren’t being dominated.

I might also add that during this time, L often mentioned her own death. As if it would happen. Now Clarke had to stay not only to save her people from death, but also to save LXA from death. Just so you know, this is a classic psychological abuse technique. The abuser threatens/implies suicide if the abusee ever leaves them. “Oh when you go I will die, that’s the way it is.”

Reminder, when Clarke wanted to go to Arkadia and fix the massacre, Lxa REFUSED. When Clarke said, “so I’m a prisoner now?” Lxa said straight out in canon. “Yes you are a prisoner.” She had ALWAYS been a prisoner. She was not a guest. She had no freedom to leave. Making her feel like she had to or wanted to stay does not mean she actually had a choice. She did not. (compare this to when Bellamy told Octavia, i understand if you need to go, but you’ll always have a place with me.” O had the FREEDOM to stay or go, and B NEVER gave or withheld permission. She was free. Clarke was not.)

Oh and Clarke is not innocent in the manipulation, either. After the hakeldama massacre, Clarke used her evaluation of Lxa as being proud and concerned with her “legacy” to manipulate her into betraying her OWN people and their beliefs and saying “blood must NOT have blood.” And yes that led to L’s downfall, but to be fair, she already did it by sparing MW. L is vain, and Clarke worked that. To sky crew’s advantage, but she did.

After they get back from Hakeldama Clarke has given up on Bellamy and their relationship starts being less manipulative. Oh wait. the whole “so wait, you want me to not take vengeance for your people’s crimes by wiping out the village, but you’re going to punish this actual murderer who just tried to kill you, huh? wow hypocrite much?”

And then when Lxa decides to *surprise surprise* go back on her promise to treat sky crew like her own people and WIPE OUT THE ENTIRE POPULATION, she’s like, okay, I give you permission to leave now and be with your people. Aren’t I kind and merciful to let you go? NO YOU ARE NOT. It isn’t kind and it isn’t merciful and it isn’t loving to ALLOW your beloved to be with her people. before you wipe them out. Or even if you’re not. It shouldn’t be up to you whether she goes or stays. It should be up to HER. But it never was.

Tbh it wasn’t until Lxa “let her go” after she’d already committed to murdering all Clarke’s people and Clarke couldn’t do anything to stop it anymore that the relationship stopped being manipulative. Their ENTIRE relationship was finding way to work each other. I do not like that kind of relationship. The only wholesome part of their relationship was their time with Pauna (no manipulaton it was a fine story) and the sex, (also a perfectly lovely story. )

Okay. go ahead and hate me now. A couple years after, I rewatched the show to see if I could see that stirring, epic love story in CL that the fans love, and even when I’d worked through my personal abuse issues and was no longer literally triggered by it, I found it to be a thin romance, far too political in nature. Just didn’t do it for me. Was it passionate? Yes. Did they like each other? D: No. I don’t think they were ever intimate enough with each other (except for with Pauna) to actually get to know each other. It was very pretty and glamourous. I am not a fan of glamour. It tends to be all show, little depth.

all in all, I do NOT think CL is the love story that wlw deserve. I dont’ think it was intended to be. And I think people hungry for a canon fantasy love story believed they were getting their HEA that romances promise. But it wasn’t a romance. (I cannot make excuses for The 100′s social media presence at that time. they fucked up.) I think it was CLARKE’S story of darkness and trauma and recovery, and L was her shadow. She needed to fall n love with her to embrace her own dark side. And she needed to die to push forward both Clarke’s trauma and the plot. Lxa was a tragic hero like Macbeth. Doomed. I don’t like Macbeth as a character, either.

#the 100 #don't read if you get offended by critiques of l or cl #or if you want to be outraged keep me out of it #i'm trying to keep it as far away from the fans as i can #i'm allowed to not like a character you love

38 notes · View notes

shipmistress9 · 5 years

Text

About Time - 2/3

Fandom: HTTYD

Rating: T

Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid

Genre: Romance/Fluff/Mutual Pining

Summary: Just another Modern/College AU of how my OTP gets together. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

. o O o .

AN: On we go with this little short story. Chapter three is already drafted by now, so it shouldn’t take too long to update. ^^

. o O o .

With a sigh, Astrid stretched, arms raised high up and behind her head, and gave her work a satisfied once-over. All shelves were orderly stacked, all boxes and cartons stowed away as they were supposed to be. The days on which new goods for Gobber’s store arrived were always busy, but today she’d managed the load in record time.

“Is there anything else to do?” she called over to where she heard her boss rummaging in his office.

There was a grunt, the sound of something – probably a head – banging against wood, and an unashamed curse before she got a reply.

“Yer finished already?” Gobber asked clearly surprised as he appeared in the shop’s main room. “Yer pure th' best assistant ah ever hired, lass. An' nae, those were th' lest fer the day. Ah expected ye tae be quicker today wi' how you’d mentioned some date wi' yer friends, but still...” He shook his head with something of a bewildered smile and then shrugged. “Either way, that’s yer all dain fer the day. Enough time left fer yer date, I’d ken, and…” He disappeared into his office again, but only to return a second later with an envelope in his hand. “Here, Ah meant tae gie ye this a while back already. Fer a bonus, a thank ye, or a birthday gift, whatever suits ye. Thought ye going out today would be a guid occasion.” He looked a little flustered as he handed her the envelope, his prosthetic hand scratching the back of his head before he disappeared back into his office again.

With a bemused smile, Astrid looked from the envelope to the empty doorway and back again. Her boss occasionally acted weird, but this was still odd, even for him. But she also knew him well enough to know that trying to get some more information out of him now wouldn’t work, so she went to grab her bag and jacket from the backroom and then left. She really was done far earlier than usual, and she contemplated driving back to her dorm instead of calling Hiccup to pick her up. If every bus and train was punctual, she’d even have enough time to take a shower instead of just quickly changing on his back seats as she’d planned.

Fishing for her phone to tell Hiccup that he wouldn’t have to pick her up, she opened the envelope Gobber had given her with her free hand. She’d expected something of a small tip in addition to her usual salary, but froze when she saw what was inside. Halting in the middle of the walkway, she pulled out the envelope’s content, just to be sure. It was a whole bundle of notes, easily a third of her usual monthly salary. Stunned, she gaped at the money, about to turn and thank Gobber for real. But he wouldn’t appreciate that kind of sentimental gesture, so she stayed where she was and instead just honoured his gift by genuinely being happy.

When she’d finally found her phone though, she paused, finger hovering over Hiccup’s name in her contacts. Not spending even the short amount of time in his car with him seemed like losing a lot after this gift. She would never admit it out loud, but being alone with him always were the best minutes of the day. More than once, she’d contemplated to ask him out for a date, but even though there wasn’t much that intimidated her, this did.

Not because Hiccup himself was intimidating, but… Odin, he was so rich. His father was the city's mayor, practically out of custom by now with how long he held the job. Thanks to his father’s money, Hiccup didn’t need to suffer a small room in an uncomfortable dorm, to use annoying public transportation, or to work to pay for his tuition. And over the years they’d been friends now, she’d watch many girls trying to date him simply because he could afford to buy them pretty gifts.

And that was not what Astrid wanted!

She didn’t want to come across like just another one of those fortune hunters, but even more than that, she wanted to provide for herself. She didn’t want to end up like one of those women who were merely pretty adornments at their husbands’ arms, unable to pay for anything unless he gave them the money. That was why she was working so hard for her degree, why she was aiming to get a good job on her own. To pay her own bills and to not have to ask if she wanted to buy something else. It wasn’t like she actually believed Hiccup was like that, as if he would want to control her through money, but still. Letting him drive her around regularly was bad enough, she didn’t want him to pay for even more. And he would, wouldn’t he? Not to reduce her but simply because he could afford it.

Chewing her lower lip, her eyes lingered on the money in her hand. If she was prudent, she’d put it aside for a later day when she would need it. But maybe… maybe she could use it for another purpose. An experiment. Something to ease her mind…

Quickly, before she could change her mind, she pressed the button to call Hiccup. But instead of calling their earlier meeting off, she’d–

“Hiccup Haddock?” came his voice from the other end of the line, and Astrid swallowed. Now or never.

“Hey, Hiccup. It’s me, Astrid,” she replied cheerfully. “I’m already done for today, and...”

She hesitated for only a moment, but it was enough for Hiccup to finish her sentence. “... and so you don’t need me to come and get you?” Was it only her wishful thinking or did he really sound disappointed?

“Actually, no, that wasn’t what I wanted to say,” she said, chuckling in slight embarrassment. “I… well, since I have so much more time before we’re supposed to meet with the others, I wanted to ask you… whether you’d want to go out and eat dinner with me? I invite you. How about pizza at Carlo’s?”

There was a second or three of silence in which Astrid dug her fingernails into her palms so hard that it hurt. What if he said no? What if he only saw her as a friend, wasn’t interested in her like that at all? A million different thoughts crossed her mind before Hiccup answered, making her heartbeat as if it wanted to jump out of her chest.

“Uhm… Sure, I-I’d love to,” he chuckled shakily. “But, erm, isn’t it a bit early?”

Astrid glanced at her watch and muffled a low curse. Oh, Odin, why hadn’t she thought of that before? “Uh, right it is. I-I didn’t…”

Again, there was a moment of silence, but an uncomfortable and embarrassing one this time. Astrid’s didn’t know how to react, wasn’t sure whether he brought this up because it was the truth or simply because he didn’t want to go out with her.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! she chided herself, her lip quivering. Her only comfort was that she didn’t need to face him directly. She dreaded taking the bus with so many people around, but it was better than being around him after this rejection. And she could always cancel their date at the cinema by claiming she felt sick or something. Yeah, that was good, that would–

“But… how about I pick you up and we stay here at my place? We could chat a bit until Carlo opens.”

Astrid’s heart made a painful jump at his words. So it had just been the bad timing after all? “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” she agreed without thinking, her lips stretched into a wide grin. Again, she was glad that he couldn’t see her right now.

“All right! Give me five minutes and I’ll be there. See you.”

He’d hung up before she could even reply, and at first, Astrid could do nothing but grin like an idiot. Absentmindedly, she stowed away her phone and the cash before she settled to wait for Hiccup. He’d probably walk here to pick her up; his flat was really close by as far as she knew and–

Only then did it hit her. He’d invited her to his flat?!?! For a moment, she went pale, her fingers shaking. That had not been what she’d planned! She’d wanted to go out on, maybe, potentially, possibly, something like a date, and not directly to go home with him.

But this is different, she calmed herself. Hiccup wasn’t that kind of guy who lured girls into his flat to right out seduce them. Or worse. He genuinely was a great guy, a friend. She could spend some time with a friend at his place, right? Unaffected of what else she might or might not feel for him or how this day might or might not end or where it would lead them. Right, there was no need to panic now.

By the time Hiccup arrived, she’d efficiently calmed down again; enough to greet him with a hug as she always did without blushing and to chat lightly on their way back to his flat.

“You’re done quite early today,” he noticed with a soft smile as they waited at a crossroad for the traffic lights to turn green. “Was there that little to do? I thought uncle Gobber got new goods today.”

“Uncle Gobber?” Astrid’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “I didn’t know you were related.”

Humming in slight embarrassment, he adjusted his glasses, such a typical gesture on him. “Ah, we’re not. Not really. But he’s an old family friend, and when I grew up, he was something of an honorary uncle to me.”

She nodded, understanding. “Ah, I see. But yes, he got new goods today. I was just faster than expected in working through them, stowing them away and labelling them and all… Guess I was motivated to be done in time,” she added with a small smile.

“Sounds sensible. Even though I didn’t know you were that eager to watch this movie tonight.”

Astrid slightly averted her face to hide her reaction. She hadn’t been eager to watch the movie, some action-comedy-mix. It should be interesting enough, sure, but her main reason not to miss it had been because she’d wanted to spend time with her friends. With one in particular.

“Apparently, I was,” she replied noncommittally in an attempt to play it down. “I didn’t even notice how time flew by, even though some of these boxes were heavy. Not surprising with all those mechanical parts, but still.”

Chuckling, Hiccup opened the door to his flat and let her in first. “Yeah, I used to help him out over one summer when his assistant of that time had left him hanging. I vividly remember how sweaty I always was afterwards. Which reminds me… We still have some time left; if you want, you can take a shower before you change. The bathroom is all yours.”

Upon entering Hiccup’s flat, Astrid had listened to his words with only half an ear, too intrigued by finally seeing how he lived. Somehow, she’d expected some kind of typical bachelor's loft, with only few but expensive furniture, a shiny kitchen that never got used, and a gigantic TV screen at one end of the one big room. What she found was quite the opposite though; a small entrance room, the walls plastered with what she recognised as Hiccup’s own drawings, and with a couple of doors leading into other rooms. She could look into what appeared to be the kitchen and the living room, and both rooms we packed full of stuff but without it being actually untidy. His last word, however, fully caught her attention again.

“Uh, w-what?”

Hiccup, who’d apparently noticed too late what exactly he’d said, blushed. “Erm, that’s… only if you want to, of course. Not that you have to; I’m not trying to say you need a shower. Just… just in case you want to, you know, freshen up a bit. Up to you. I-I’m not trying to be a pervert, honest, and you can lock the room from the inside. I’ll just… I’ll be in the kitchen, preparing some tea and… and you can… uh… yeah…”

Still stammering more incoherent nonsense, he dug into his kitchen and left Astrid standing where she was. She probably should go after him and reassure him that she didn’t believe him to be a pervert and that she was actually grateful for the offer after the initial surprise had waned. But she was too flustered herself to face him right now, so she gladly took the opportunity to gather her wits again. Taking a shower actually sounded fantastic, so after a moment’s hesitation, she looked around the entrance room. There were three other doors that were all closed, probably leading to his bedroom, his office, and the bathroom. Unwilling to go and ask, she opened the one closest by – and froze.

Behind the door, she’d clearly found Hiccup’s bedroom; the walls were again covered in drawings, but she didn’t pay them much attention. Instead, her eyes were glued to the orderly made bed that took up most of the small but comfortable-looking room, with some dragon covers and two cushions on it, and she couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it would be to crawl under those covers and deeply inhale–

Oh, stop it, dammit! She shook her head almost violently, determined to shake that thought off before it could take root. Yes, she’d decided to kinda ask Hiccup out on a date, but she had yet to see how that would go, how he would behave. It was way too early to daydream about spending her nights in his bed, for Freya’s sake!

Huffing in exasperation, she pulled the door closed again and luckily found the bathroom behind the next one. Closing that one behind her too, she decided on a whim to not lock it. On the one hand, she trusted Hiccup not to peep or even try something else, and on the other hand… If she secretly hoped he’d come to join her under the hot spray, to feel his large artist’s hands on her skin and his lips on hers – well, then that was her problem.

#About Time #Hiccstrid #hiccstrid fanfiction #fanfiction #modern hiccstrid #romance #mutual pining #friends to lovers #college AU #httyd fanfiction #httyd #Modern AU

61 notes · View notes

justmewoo · 5 years

Text

A wish (Tony’s Big Brother) | Avengers x Male Reader|

Chapter Two:

a/n: for the person who asked me to tag them on the story I apologize I accidentally deleted it so please send me a message and I can tag you on the next chapter. Enjoy!

Jennifer got the baby ready while I waited for them downstairs. I had gone to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and saw my reflection. I still looked young, no changes were made and as for my body, it was toned something that I didn't have before. My hair was still the same color as the last time I saw it and noticed I was wearing a blue suit that felt a bit tight. "I need to look for Tony." I talked to myself unaware that my "wife" was in the doorway spying on me as she was carrying the baby. "You ready to go? I have Maria ready hopefully we get to meet Santa Clause since it's her first Christmas." I nodded turning around and walking out of the bathroom.

We gather our things including a phone or two that I had to carry because of work and got inside a nice car that had no idea what it was called. She put the baby in the back in what seems to be a car seat as she called it. Jennifer then drove to this place called a mall where people shop because of all the small stores it had inside. During the ride there, the car ride was silent except for the Christmas music playing on the radio and the sound of my phone vibrating every two minutes.

After a few more minutes we had arrived at the place. I got out of the car while she took the baby out in some sort of barrier so she wouldn't fall. She handed me the baby and carried her with my left hand so Jennifer could carry a bag that had things inside which I guessed were the baby's things she needed.

Once inside people were coming and going with bags or shopping carts with gifts. Christmas music was blasting everywhere, there were kids laughing or crying because of the Santa Claus that was taking pictures near at the end of the mall. Small trees filled with lights stood almost everywhere. A gigantic tree was near Santa Claus with some fake snow on the ground. I watched in awe as I took a look around this mall had at least two floors with tons of stores.

"Are you kidding me? He's going to be super mad if I don't find something for him to give to pepper! I will be toast you here me." A man passing by yelled talking on a phone. He was a bit tall, he was wearing a black suit and carried bags in one hand. I looked down for a second when I heard the baby cry. "Jennifer the baby's cr-" I stopped in mid-sentence when someone screamed I turn around to the see the man falling from the second floor. My reflexes quickly took over me and in an instant, I ran over to the man with both hands and carried him with no problem. As for the bags he was carrying I managed to save them from falling. I placed down the baby on the floor and slid her with my leg towards Jennifer so she wouldn't get hurt. Everyone around us stared at the sudden action, some began to applaud and recorded or took pictures while others continued on with their day. Soon men in black suits came over to us.

I have to admit I was shocked myself too. Never in my life have I had those reflexes. "A-are you okay sir?" I asked as he fixed his posture. I quickly turned around sending a relief glance at the baby who was now in Jennifer's arms.

"I- yeah... I'm fine thanks for saving me. I was too busy talking on the phone that I failed to notice the stairs. You are a lifesaver, there has to be a way I could repay you back." I defended myself with my hands. "Don't worry sir it's fine with me just please try to be more careful where your walking. If you excuse me I have to get back to my family." I said making my way back, but the guy continued to watch from afar as Jennifer and I left the scene.

'He looks a bit like Tony..' he thought.

_______________________

We were in the mall for about two hours or if not more shopping for Jennifer's and other's Christmas gifts. While she walked into the stores I stayed taking care of the baby near a bench sitting down. I was making funny faces down at the baby making her giggle. "You have your grandmother's eye and your uncles smile," I whispered under my breath. I made little farting noises in her tummy and tickles. "You know daddy really isn't from this timeline because I'm still only twenty-seven." She looked up at me confused. "I know sweetie daddy is really confused too because one moment he was with grandma and grandpa, then I wake up with a wife and the fact that I have a beautiful little girl. But of course, your mommy doesn't know about it and might think I'm crazy. But I really miss my parents especially your uncle Tony." I sigh looking at the ground.

Flash Back:

"Anthony where are you I have something to show you, little brother." I shouted all over the house happily caring something in my hands. I ran all the way up to the room we both shared. I was only twelve and Tony was six years old.

I opened the door to our room and found Tony playing alone with some robotic toys. I walked slowly behind him and placed the item on the bed before sneaking behind and grabbed him by his waist planting tons of kisses on his cheek only to get rejected by him.

Tony wiped the kisses from his cheek hurting my feelings a bit. I didn't show an upset face instead I acted like it didn't matter. "Look a friend of mine gave me his older brother's baseball hat that was signed by Captain America, isn't it cool Tony? Now I have something signed of his." I showed him the hat to his face. But he knocked it out of my hand and threw it out the window.

"Oh no, it fell out the window what a tragedy." He said with a fake worried tone there was not a hint of remorse what so ever. "What the heck Anthony that's not cool." I yell storming out, "I'm tired of you and dad always talking about Captain America he's not alive anymore!" He yelled back. I ran out of the house and ran back outside to look for the hat. "I can't find my hat, you're really mean Anthony why are you always so mean to me!" I yelled walking in front of our room window. "Because you deserve it. You're just like him and I don't like you." He yells back pointing a finger at me.

"But Anthony I'm nothing like him. I want to spend time with you but you don't want me to." I looked around in the ground looking for the hat. "Sheesh, I can't find the hat." I murmured to myself, Tony then closed the window slamming it shut. I looked up and saw the hat on the big tree that was next to our house so I began to climb up the tree to retreat the hat. I was close to getting it with my fingers but my feet were slowly slipping down so I quickly tried to grab the hat but when I did I began to fall down to the ground realizing it was too late.

The sound of crying snapped me back to reality and saw Maria crying in my arms. I tried to rock her back and forth but a sudden smell made me guess it was something else. "Does someone need a diaper change? I have no clue how to change a diaper guess we have to go get mommy." I got up with her in my arms while carrying her bag on my shoulder.

I walked to the store where Jennifer was in and when I arrived I saw her through the glass looking at clothes and smiled at her. Maybe I should try my best and put effort into acting like a normal husband and father maybe there's a reason why all of this happened. Smiling like an idiot, I took a small step forward when the glass from the store suddenly shattered. It felt like everything happened in such slow motion, Jennifer slowly fell on the ground as a drop of blood fell down from her chest. Her eyes looked into mine making me remember the same way that my mother had died.

The sounds of gunshots drew in closer, in sudden seconds they were near me. I then quickly covered the baby with my arms trying to protect her in any way I could. Everyone in the mall ran in different directions making it impossible to even see who was the perpetrator that was causing all of this. I saw blood coming out from beneath her and forming into a pool of blood. I was going to make a run for her when another gunshot was heard, my eyes turned to the left and saw two people running away from the person. They went passed me almost knocking everyone in their way, then he appeared from the crowd it was him. Suddenly the people that ran weren't the targets anymore it was me, that same man who killed my parents was coming after me now.

His eyes were dark, there was no sign of remorse what so ever it looked like he was brainwashed by something that made him want to kill. The gun he pointed was aimed towards me, my legs then began to move to try to run away as fast as I could. I unbutton my shirt and placed Maria inside protecting her from any glass that was shattered as I passed the stores, his footsteps were getting closer. "Go I'll cover you from here!" someone yelled my head turned to see a man standing on the second floor shooting at him. The two people who were running from before were right in front of me, I still didn't understand what was going on everything seemed to be so confusing. How did he manage to even find me?

A loud bang was heard then fire suddenly erupted from one of the stores, the explosion then through my body off to the side in quick moments I made sure I fell on my back to protect her head and held her tightly against my chest. I groaned feeling the glass break, it felt a lot worse on your back than anything else, "Are you okay Maria?" looking down her eyes were filled with worry "Hey...everything is going to be okay I promise." The man turned around trying to look for me, the blonde man from earlier then went up against him. A grunt was heard coming from him, I couldn't help but look seeing how hard he was trying to fight him.

"Steve! We need to take him down there are too many civilians here!" the redheaded yelled trying to help him as well, another gunshot was then heard coming from the second floor. The man kept shooting trying to take the metal arm man down but kept shooting at the wrong places. I felt my heart beat rapidly in despair, frightened to find a way to keep Maria safe but also help them out. Civilians were still running passed me, they kept tripping over one another trying to flee the scene and get somewhere safe. I looked down at her she stared right back at me, sighing I set her down and covered her with a plant that wouldn't give her away.

"I'll be right back...everything is going to be okay." I pressed a kiss softly on her forehead and left running towards both of them making sure to crouch down so he wouldn't be able to see coming from behind. The blonde guy made eye contact with me but never said anything, as soon as I had a good opening I grabbed him by his neck trying to make him pass out. He moved his chin down and stepped to the side as he grabbed my forearm trying to escape. I tried tightening it harder to make him stay in place, his left arm then moved back and hurt my leg before his elbow hit my neck directly making me stagger back.

Right on that second, he immediately threw himself at me with full force making the both of us crash through the glass windows. I groaned feeling the impact affecting my back, his hands were then around my neck trying to choke me. His grip was too strong for me to try and take them off of me. Steve then came up took his off of me, I began coughing not being able to breathe. "Get out of here!" he exclaimed standing in front of me as he tried to defend himself.

"I-" the coughing was making it worse for me throat, "I-I can't! Y-You need help!" the metal arm man picked up his gun and began shooting again, Steve picked up his shield and used it to protect both of us from the gunshots. "Why are you here?!" he exclaimed, "I was just in the mall...then he showed up out of nowhere and began to target me!" I yelled as the gunshots grew louder. There was a look in his face that was quite unexplainable, the girl from earlier then came over to us both and she took me away from Steve.

"Ler's go!" she exclaimed taking my forearm as she ran pulling me with her, my eyes immediately went to over where Maria was. "Wait!" I headed into a different direction, "What are you doing?!" I didn't listen I kept going rushing to her risking it everything to make sure she was safe. The man followed my movements and retreated from Steve before going over to me, she was still safe and sound. Her eyes grew wide with a soft smile, "I'm here baby girl." carefully I picked her up in my arms and carried her.

"You have a daughter?" she asked, "This is going to be more complicated than I thought." The loud sound of footsteps landed was heard, I pulled her close to my chest his eyes were focused on me and Maria. I had a gut feeling, something was about to happen. I tried to look brave but I was afraid that she would be in danger, Jennifer was gone and I wasn't going to lose my daughter. Nat and their friend came in at the right moment, they tried so many things to keep him down. I took the opportunity and ran away, all the moments I've lived from before began to come back to me. From the relationship that Tony, I had, to find out I had a daughter...and wishing to have gotten more time to fix things.

I was alone in this world now.

The doors then opened and a women came running over to us, "Come with me!" she exclaimed, I looked down seeing them fight against him. A feeling of regret began to wash over me, feeling guilty of leaving them behind but my daughter was the number one priority right now. I followed my instincts and went with her the only thing that could be heard were the sounds of glass shattering and the sound of bodies being thrown onto the ground.

#tony stark x reader #steve togers x reader #natasha romanoff #bucky barnes #winter soldier #avengers #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel masterlist #x male reader #male reader

80 notes · View notes

pug-bitch · 5 years

Text

That’s not why I’m going (31)

The lengths he’d go

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive. This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18. This also alludes to pretty disturbing content, regarding Amara’s backstory.

Word count: about 4,100 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This picks up pretty much where we left off, during the first night in Penelope’s estate, right after Liam saw Liv and Rashad, starting with Drake’s POV.

*****

Maxwell had just left for the night, after a fun evening of movies and chats, and Drake was just about to turn in when someone knocked on the door. He was secretly hoping it would be Amara, but he knew that they were being prudent. Maybe Max had forgotten something?

‘Hey Max, coming!’ he yells out.

‘It’s me, Drake.’

Liam’s voice. Not like his usual self, though, his voice is broken and sad. Trembling, even. Drake rushes to the door. ‘Hey man, come on in.’

Liam looks like shit. His eyes are bloodshot, and he’s holding a sad, slightly wilted bouquet of roses, as well as a jewelry box. Oh no, Drake thinks. Who rejected him this time?

‘Thanks for opening. I know it’s late.’

‘Hey, no worries, Li. I was up, Max and I were watching movies.’

Liam nods. ‘Any chance you were also drinking whiskey and there’s some left?’

Drake chuckles. ‘Yeah. Sit down, I’ll pour you a glass.’

*****

‘Maybe it’s better if we go our separate ways here,’ Liv whispers as Rashad parks his car in the garage where they met up earlier.

Rashad nods and smiles. ‘Whatever you say. I had a great time. Thank you for coming out with me, Nevrakis.’

Liv sighs, unable to keep the smile off of her lips. ‘I had a great time too. Sorry I’m not inviting you up, I just-’

He puts his hand on her arm, ever so gently. ‘Stop. This is perfect.’

She stays like this for a few minutes, taking it all in. He obviously wants her, she realized it on the beach, when they made out for a while on that rock --how cliché?-- and she felt his hard cock against her. But he didn’t try anything beyond kissing.

Not that she didn’t want it; of course she wants it. He’s so fucking attractive, and respectful, and kind --oh fuck, since when have those been positive criteria for her? Still, she doesn’t want to rush into something new. She’s loved Liam for as long as she can remember, and cannot jump into something head first right now. But maybe just dipping her toes is fine.

Plus, since Ilya’s nude picture was leaked, she’s been feeling...violated. It wasn’t even her picture, of course, but the intent behind the text exchange was clear, and plain for everyone to see. Her personal life, on a shelf, for the whole court to judge. Fuck that.

No, she’s not ready. She would love to shed her inhibitions and jump his bones right here right now. Just say fuck it, and straddle him, in the driver’s seat. She could ride him immediately if she wanted, and on some level she does want it, but… not yet.

‘Liv,’ Rashad murmurs, as if reading her mind, ‘there’s nothing I would love more than spend the night with you, but there’s no rush. So, we can keep hanging out, and in a little while, if you want, well, if you’re still into it, I’ll be there.’

She smiles and captures his lips in a passionate kiss. ‘Good night, Domvallier. See you very soon.’

*****

Liam looks at his best friend process what he just told him. Drake’s eyes are the size of saucers as he’s reacting to the thought of Liv with Rashad. Liam’s thoughts exactly.

‘Li, this is crazy… are you okay?’

No, he’s not okay, he thinks. Bit late for Drake to worry, huh? But he can’t tell him that. ‘I’ll be fine, Drake. I’m just disappointed, as you can see, I was going to make a grand gesture, and my plans were completely derailed.’

Drake is responding, with words that Liam is not listening to. All he can think about right now is Liv’s lips tangled with Rashad’s. Amara’s rejection of him, very clear, very business-like. Drake’s budding friendship with Maxwell, which had taken over Liam’s own friendships with the two men. When did the actual Crown Prince become everyone’s third wheel? Even Bertrand seemed more integrated to the group than he was, when they had lunch at the cabin.

‘Liam? Are you listening?’

‘Hm? Oh, yeah. I know, crazy, right?’

Drake squints. ‘I was saying, you should talk to Liv. Be upfront with her, ask her if she is serious about Rashad. Maybe it’s all a big misunderstanding, maybe she’s just hanging out with him because she thought you would never propose to her. You’ve gotta at least try.’

Liam plasters on his fake smile, the one he’s been showing off 24/7 these days. ‘You’re right. Thank you.’

But what he means is, why is it always my job to clarify everything with everyone? Why can’t people just be upfront with me, and that way I don’t have to constantly ask them how they really feel?

But Drake wouldn’t understand. No one fakes anything with Drake. No one feels obligated to pretend to like Drake, people just show him their true colors.

So, he gets up from the bed, downs his whiskey, and heads towards the door.

‘Hold on,’ Drake says as he gets up to follow him, ‘are you leaving already? I don’t think you should be alone, Li.’

But Liam’s always alone. ‘I’m fine, Drake. I’ll see you tomorrow at the fishing activity, ok?’

*****

‘Are you sure, Suarez? You can take as much time as you need, prolong your leave of absence, but don’t quit now.’

But Amara has made her decision already, no way she’s going back.

‘Thanks, Captain, but I don’t plan to come back. No need to string the NYPD along. Thank you for everything.’

She holds out her hand, and Captain Braugher shakes it vigorously. ‘Take care, Detective. Thank you for your service. Please call if you change your mind.’

As she walks away, she can’t block the voices in her head, the gunshots that repeat themselves in an infinite pattern, killing her brother over and over in her memory.

She closes her eyes as she tries to repress the recollection of her own voice, the one that screamed ‘Sergio!’ at the top of her lungs, almost inhumanely, hoping to God her brother had survived.

She hears those sounds all day long, everywhere, no matter who’s talking to her.

They distract her so much, up to the point where she has no idea what is going on around her. Up to the point where she absolutely does not see the bus driving towards her as she crosses the street.

‘CAREFUL!’ a voice screams at her.

She wakes up in a sweat. Hana is next to her, her brow furrowed with concern. ‘Amara, are you okay?’ she asks.

Amara catches her breath. ‘Y-yeah… I had a nightmare…’

‘Damn,’ Hana says, sitting up in the bed. ‘You fell asleep so peacefully I didn’t want to wake you up, I didn’t realize your nightmares were so bad.’

The thing is, this one wasn’t even bad. She didn’t even dream of the fateful day, she didn’t even see any images of her dying brother. This was one of the good nightmares.

‘I’m ok, hun, thanks for letting me crash, I should probably go back to my room.’

‘Nonsense,’ Hana replies. ‘I bet your nightmares get worse when you’re alone, huh?’

Amara’s eyes well up. She nods silently. She doesn’t want to tell her that, for every night when she hasn’t been near Drake, she’s gotten about two hours of undisturbed sleep.

‘Alright then,’ Hana says in a determined tone, ‘you’re staying here, and that’s final. I’ll make us some chamomile tea.’

*****

‘Grampie!’

‘Mijita! Come give me a hug!’

Michael’s heart grows two sizes every time he sees his daughter smile. When she’s around her grandparents, Callie’s face never fails to light up.

‘Hi Jorge,’ Michael says as he hugs his father-in-law tightly. ‘Sorry we’re here so early. I wanted to beat traffic.’

‘Mikey, good to see you. Don’t worry about it sweetie, you know we wake up at 6am every day.’

Michael goes to the kitchen to greet Nancy, who already has an armful of Callie, who can’t get enough of her grandmother.

Alright, he thinks. No funny business, he can’t tell them anything. These two are the worst secret keepers, and he was told to remain discreet so as to not ruin the surprise. He was evasive on the phone, asking them to watch Callie for about a week as he had a work trip to take. They didn’t ask any further questions, however unbelievable it sounded. Michael’s an attorney, he doesn’t take work trips, not really, but Jorge and Nancy were not the type to doubt him.

He’d have to be careful not to mention Amara too much, which would be hard, given that Jorge usually talked about her every ten minutes. And given that there were around 20 pictures of her in the living room, including her giant quinceañera photo on the mantel.

He’d arrived a couple of days early, so he could visit with his in-laws and ease Callie into her sleepover week. She and Michael were basically inseparable.

Of course, he could have brought her along, which his contact person had encouraged, but Michael didn’t want to subject his daughter to the long trip, especially since he really had no idea how things would be once he got there.

‘Grammie, is this me?’ Callie asks Nancy, pointing at a baby picture of Sergio. Nancy glances at Jorge, who looks like he’s about to cry.

‘No, baby, this is your Papi. You look exactly like him.’

Michael looks away before he makes eye contact with Jorge and they both end up weeping. Yes, Callie looked exactly like Sergio. Michael blesses the day when they both had their sperm count tested, and Sergio’s had slightly better odds. If things had gone differently on that day, they wouldn’t have decided to use Sergio’s, and Callie would not look like him. As hard as it is to look at her painfully-Suarez little face every day and be reminded of his husband’s death, Michael wouldn’t have it any other way. Like this, he lives on.

Ten minutes later, Jorge is already showing Callie the wooden toys he’s been making her in his shed. The two are off in the garden, and Michael hears them laughing from afar. The more he thinks about it, the more he wants to move to the Philadelphia suburbs to be close to Jorge and Nancy. Callie would love it, and Michael already has had offers from lawfirms in Philly. He just has to bring himself to sell their apartment in Williamsburg.

‘Tell me honey,’ Nancy says softly as she refills his coffee, ‘are you taking care of yourself? You look tired, and I don’t mean it as a passive-aggressive mom thing.’

He knew she didn’t. Nancy is not like that. If she says he looks tired, then he does, and she’s probably just really concerned. But he also cannot tell her what’s been keeping him awake, because she would tell Jorge instantly.

‘I’m fine, Nance, thank you. I’m just anxious about leaving Callie.’

She smiles at him. ‘Honey, you know she’ll be in good hands, right? Plus, Lauren and Matthew are coming this weekend with the twins. She’ll have a nice playdate.’

Michael nods. Matthew is Nancy’s son, and he and his wife were incredible with Callie after Sergio passed. Their twins, a boy and a girl, are lovely little kids, just a year older than Callie, and they all get along beautifully. ‘That will be good. I know she’ll be fine, but we’ve never been apart so long.’

Nancy nods. ‘I know. But you have to rebuild your life, sweetie. You’ve got to think of yourself.’

Michael nods but hopes they don’t think he’s going somewhere to meet a man. That’s literally the last thing on his mind, always. When he met Sergio, ten years ago --jeez, ten years--, he knew that was it. Boom, done. The one. That’s why they didn’t wait long to get married. Two years into their relationship, they were about to tie the knot. Two years after that, they were looking into surrogacy. And finally, four years ago, Callie was born.

It wasn’t supposed to go this way. Michael was not supposed to be a widower at not even 35 years old. And yet, here he was.

*****

The second day in Portavira seemed extremely long to Drake, who usually enjoyed fishing, but didn’t really feel like being among the whole court today. He exchanged a few words with Amara, but they couldn’t be seen together for too long, for fear of being discovered. Although, as Drake recalled Bastien’s words, discovered or not, something shitty was coming Amara’s way. All they needed to know was what, and when.

Liam had barely spoken to him all day, and looked even worse than the night before. It was obvious that he had been ruminating Liv’s new relationship all night. Did Drake do enough? Probably not. But he’s starting to feel tired of it all, and specifically of managing Liam’s expectations.

What did he think? That he could play with Liv’s feelings for twenty years, and that she would in turn be at his disposal? That was a real underestimation of Nevrakis, and it confirmed to Drake that Liv deserves better.

Maybe Rashad would treat her better. Maybe this was for the best.

Fuck, he misses Amara. It’s been only a day since they were happy and free at the cabin, but it feels like a year. Every time he catches a glimpse of her, his breath intensifies, and he finds himself irresistibly attracted towards her.

‘Drake!’ Hana exclaims, walking towards him with her little fishing rod in one hand, and her straw hat in the other. ‘Can you show me how to catch a fish? I haven’t been able to do anything all afternoon!’

‘What? Hana Lee, as I live and breathe, are you…’ he fake gasps, ‘are you NOT TRAINED in something?’

Hana laughs earnestly, ‘You can laugh all you want, but this was not very high on my parents’ priority list. Believe it or not, they’d rather I catch a husband!’

He shows her how to prep her line, and as she’s closer to him, she looks all around for eavesdroppers.

‘Everything ok?’ he asks.

She nods. ‘Have you spoken to Liam?’

He wonders whether he should say anything, but he doesn’t want to talk about Liv and Rashad in public. It’s not his place. ‘Last night, yeah. He came to my room around 1am.’

If she was surprised, she certainly didn’t show it. ‘How did he seem?’

Drake hesitates. ‘Not good. I think he’s unraveling. I can tell you more about it tomorrow when we get back to Ramsford.’

She sighs. ‘I can’t wait. This is stressful. We’re all waiting for the other shoe to drop.’

‘Exactly.’ He pauses. ‘Hana, can I just ask--’

She interrupts him. ‘She’s ok. She slept over last night, and she had a pretty severe nightmare, though. I think she’s on edge.’

Fuck, he thinks, the nightmares are back. Weird, because Michael has stopped calling. But maybe she’s been talking to her dad, or to Mia. Or maybe it’s even the tense atmosphere that’s getting to her. Drake wouldn’t be surprised. ‘I was hoping the nightmares would fade away,’ he says to Hana.

She smiles kindly. ‘All we need to do is be there for her. And love her.’

Drake grips his fishing rod tightly and scoffs. ‘How can I do that if I can’t even talk to her without raising suspicion?’

‘Hey, be patient. Tomorrow we’ll have a couple of days off until the rehearsal dinner on Friday. We’ll do something fun, recharge our batteries.’

Drake nods. He’s all for recharging his batteries, but a few days away from the Decision Ball, it feels more like one last treat you give a dying dog.

*****

Amara took the first opportunity she found to escape the crowd and walk on her own. She had some fun fishing, specifically spending time with Max, Bertrand and Olivia, with whom she hung out for most of the activity. But now, as everyone is gathering around to have yet another tea time with pastries and cider, she needs a break. She doesn’t want to wander too far, in order not to be rude, but she figures a light stroll around the gardens can’t hurt.

She’s still reeling from everything. The everlasting threat of her personal business being leaked, the ongoing pressure from a competition she doesn’t want, the anxiety of wondering whether or not she’ll be able to be with Drake completely, and of course, the habitual agony over her nightmares.

So, for now, if she can grab a minute to herself and literally smell the flowers, she’s gonna do it.

‘Amara?’

She turns around nervously and relaxes a bit at the sight of her interlocutor. ‘Oh, Penelope, you scared me.’

Penelope smiles. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was just getting some air.’

‘Same. Your place is beautiful, thank you so much for having us all here.’

Penelope’s smile broadens. ‘Oh thank you for saying this! It’s been great having everyone here. It’s just…’ She stops.

‘What is it, Penelope?’ Amara inquires.

‘Oh, nothing.’ She pauses and looks at Amara intently, as if to judge her intentions. After a long pause, she continues. ‘It’s just that it feels it’s all for nothing.’ Amara chooses to remain silent and nods vigorously until Penelope continues. ‘The competition, I mean. It’s pretty obvious that I’m not going to be chosen. I think we all know that.’

Amara’s heart breaks a little at Penelope’s confession. She studies her face for a minute. She’s probably around Amara’s age, but she looks so young and naive, that Amara feels the need to protect her all of a sudden. People talk about Hana’s innocent temperament, but few of them realize how strong she actually is. With Penelope, the naiveté is probably not an illusion. Plus, if her parents’ overprotective attitude is any indication, Penelope has probably led a pretty sheltered life so far.

Still, Amara decides to play the supportive card. ‘You can’t say that. Liam might choose you.’

Penelope waves her off. ‘Oh, I don’t even want to be chosen. My parents and I only decided for me to enter the competition because it would be suspicious if I didn’t. But we all hope I won’t make it. My place is not in the Capital, really, it’s here with my family and my dogs.’

Amara nods understandingly. Parts of her can’t help but feel relief, because this means she’s probably not involved in Hana’s and Liv’s leaks, since she’s that disinterested. ‘I get it,’ Amara says. She wishes she could say more, commiserate in their non-love of Liam, but she decides not to. After all, Penelope is still friendly-ish with Madeleine, who could make her life a living hell at the drop of a hat. ‘If you don’t want the prize, the whole shebang must be quite agonizing,’ Amara continues.

Penelope laughs. ‘Not really, because I do like hanging out with everyone and having fun at court. I do miss my family and my dogs but I know it’ll all be over on Saturday night.’

Amara smiles silently. She fucking hopes it’ll all be over after Saturday night.

‘But I didn’t mean to discourage you,’ Penelope continues. ‘You have all your chances, Amara!’

*****

No one seems to have noticed that Liam slipped out of the tea time. He went to the bathroom a good twenty minutes ago and never came back, and no one came after him. He can only see Bastien, always a good twenty feet behind him.

So, he just stays at the balcony, far from the crowd, and refuses to go back until someone, anyone, comes for him.

Bratty? Maybe. But that’s how it is.

He plays on his phone. No one has texted him, either. Just a few emails, mostly boring ones. One from Ioanna, the assistant to the Greek ambassador, thanking him for the reports he’s sent. As he’s about to press ‘Reply’, he hears footsteps, and his heart rate increases, in the hope that they belong to someone he wants to see.

‘Hello, Your Highness.’

He turns around. ‘Oh, hi, Madeleine. How are you?’

She smiles weakly and plants herself right next to him on the balcony. ‘I should be asking you this. You left a while ago, I was worried.’

He sighs. Just his luck. The only person worried about him is Madeleine. ‘I’m fine. I’m just feeling a bit…’ he looks at her. ‘Restless.’

She puts her hand on his forearm. ‘It happens to the best of us. It must be hard being the center of attention while no one really pays attention to you.’

Yeah, spot on. ‘Very well put,’ he chuckles.

She wrings her hands together. ‘I wanted to apologize for the other day, too. Sincerely.’

‘Apologize for what?’ he asks, all the while knowing exactly what she’s talking about.

‘For being too forward and entitled the other day. For giving you the impression that you owed me a date. For being shamelessly flirtatious. For all of it.’

He can’t help but smile. She’s never admitted fault before, so that’s a first. He can get behind that. ‘Apology accepted.’

‘Thank you,’ she smiles. ‘I’m not trying to find excuses for myself, really, but the truth is…’ she blushes, ‘you’re so attractive and so perfect in every way, it’s difficult to resist hitting on you.’ She shrugs. ‘I’m only human.’

Liam laughs wholeheartedly for the first time in a while.

*****

Madeleine walks back to the tea time with Liam on her arm. She tries not to appear too smug, although old habits die hard. Thankfully, she and Liam are facing the same way, so he can’t see the self-satisfied look on her face.

She just had to schmooze him a bit and apologize to get him to finally give in a little. She almost tried to kiss him again, to seal the deal, but decided against it at the last minute. Too much too soon can never be good. Plus, she could give two shits about kissing him or fucking him. All she wants is the crown.

*****

‘Hey little blossom, are you ready to go?’

Amara smiles from ear to ear when Max enters her room with his suitcase. She finishes zipping hers up, excited to get back to Ramsford. The previous evening in Portavira had been uneventful, except for the fact that Liam and Madeleine had appeared unnaturally close, and then again at breakfast this morning.

She’d worry about that later. Or maybe there was nothing to worry about at all. She couldn’t tell anymore.

All she knows is that Wednesday is finally here and they can all get the fuck out of courtly duties for a whole 48 hours. Everyone is going home, and she, Drake, Max, Bertrand, Hana, and Liv, are going to Ramsford.

‘I’m all packed!’ she announces proudly.

‘Alright, let’s go then! No time to waste, it’s a long drive!’

*****

After saying goodbye to Penelope, her parents, and her poodles --Drake had to admit those little bastards were really cute--, the gang piles up in Maxwell’s and Bertrand’s cars.

‘Max,’ Drake says, ‘can you drop me off at my cabin so I can get my car?’

‘Sure thing, let’s go!’

Drake had thought about this moment all morning, and also all of yesterday. Just sitting in the backseat next to Amara feels illicit. Liv is in the front seat, and Hana rode with Bertrand. Drake catches a glimpse of Amara’s smile the moment they settle down next to each other, and he wonders how he’s gonna be able to hold off from kissing her, from holding her, until they’re out of sight. But he does. Eyes on the prize.

As soon as Max’s car exits Penelope’s estate and passes the gates, Amara’s hand inches closer to Drake’s until their fingers touch. The much awaited contact sends shivers down Drake’s spine. ‘Fuck, Suarez,’ he murmurs. ‘I’ve missed you.’

‘Ugh, guys, you’re gonna make me carsick,’ Liv complains. ‘Unless Beaumont’s driving gets to me first.’

‘Hey! I’m a great driver!’ Max yelps as he swerves to avoid a bird.

Drake squeezes Amara’s hand. She turns around, looks behind them to look at the Portavira estate, which is getting smaller and smaller in the distance. She looks at Drake, a look that could melt his heart, and their lips crash together.

‘For fuck’s sake, Suarez,’ Liv sighs, ‘keep it in your pants.’

But Drake can’t hear anything. All he’s aware of is the touch of Amara’s lips, the warmth of her embrace. The love he feels for her. The lengths he’d go for this woman.

*****

Taglist:

@drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @jovialyouthmusic @notoriouscs @emceesynonymroll @andy-loves-corgis @mariahschoices @drakesensworld @thequeenofcronuts @drakewalkerisreal @nikkis1983 @simsvetements @alesana45 @iplaydrake @lily1999love @drakewalkerwhipped @drakewalkerrosenberg @drakxwalker @drakeswalkers @drakelover78 @silviasutton1989 @dcbbw @carabeth @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#that's not why i'm going #dramara #drake x amara #drake walker x amara suarez #drake x mc #drake walker x mc #drake walker #amara suarez #drake trr #drake walker trr #trr drake #the royal romance #the royal romance fanfic

40 notes · View notes