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#wanted to reblog this here because i'm proud of it
six-of-snakes · 8 months
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somtimes a boy's just gotta recognize the girl he used to be and acknowledge what she did for him and then move on to keep living his life knowing she's watching proud of what he's done
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wrendo · 8 months
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hello, I drew this again!
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inappropriations · 1 year
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Kaz, he's just a kid!
So was I.
Shadow and Bone season 2, episode 3
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luvevee · 1 year
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It's pretty annoying having to scan basically every artist for i/cest shit in any media that has siblings because most of them hide it on alt accounts/platforms/sly tags and that's a big reason why I'm too burnt out on reblogging art
#literally the word 'pr/ship' feels so dumb to me like it's just gross shit#it's why i fell hard out of submas since if that wasn't the case the 'neutral' artists supported it/stayed quiet#like holy shit I've found a good few artists here on twitter being into that nasty shit just by scrolling#like i shouldn't have to find out on another app on accident to see the person I'm supporting caters to that garbage#'we want to be left alone and ship what we want btw we're gonna violate everyone's boundaries because fuck the purists'#imagine thinking you're a victim because you make art of i/cest and make it your entire personality to consume that media-#and then purposely get into spaces where people are uncomfortable with it/getting joy out of that#'why not reblog stuff without doing it' cuz i don't want someone's shit on my page when they're actually a garbage person#i really don't understand 'lol the purists are upset' -> 'omg they're so mean to us' just because most people aren't on their side with it#literally an anon came into my partner's inbox taunting him about touching his stuff like a 6 year old#imagine preaching 'don't like don't look' but when normal people say 'don't touch my stuff' you reverse and cry 'it's not fair'#or saying how you're proud about the gross shit you make but you have alts to hide it/lie about it like 🤨 thought you were proud of it#it's just annoying when im looking for good trigun/submas/dmc/etc art and see the person who made it ships the twins#like cool#and it ends up becoming a long list and it becomes annoying to look for art to reblog#idk I'm bitching and it's something that's gross#rosebud posting 💐
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inkedbybarnes · 2 months
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his baby
bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: bucky won't call you by your name.
word count: 400+
warnings: 18+ minors dni. established relationship. tooth rotting fluff, or worse... allusions to smut. a whole lot of usage of petnames mainly being baby, bucky being obsessed with the reader (that's a warning, i say), lowercase writing.
i have no idea what this is (okay, maybe i do) but it happened. really cheesy, but i guess i'm into that sometimes. hope you like this one!
dividers by @cafekitsune!
comments, reblogs, and likes are highly appreciated. thank you! ♡
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“where's my baby?”
those three words kept echoing all throughout the compound this morning. most of the team were up and awake to welcome bucky, steve, and sam who just arrived home from their week long mission.
but his baby was missing.
“oh, god. here he goes again.” sam shook his head, fatigue written all over his face, but a bit of amusement from bucky's behaviour still shining through. he couldn't deny how admirable bucky's adoration for you was.
“calm down, punk." steve pat his shoulder reassuringly. “i'm sure she's here somewhere.”
“yeah, but where?” bucky asks again. “i haven't seen her for a week. i miss her.”
“you think he remembers her name?" clint jokingly asked.
“she has multiple names, remember?” tony answered. “baby, sweetheart, love, sweets, and.. what's the other one? i swear, there's another, or maybe two?”
before one of them could find the answer, bucky popped right in front of them to ask another question.
“is my baby okay?” his brows were all scrunched up, genuinely worried about you. “did you tell her i was coming home? i told her before we took off. why isn't she here? she's always—”
“okay, lover boy. your baby is alright, she's still sleeping in your room, i think.” tony answered him, finally calming him down. “and can you call her by her name when it's just us around? we're starting to think that you forgot what her actual name is."
“what? she's my only baby, it's not that hard to figure it out." bucky shrugged, causing at least three of the avengers to run their hands through their face at his answer. “and why is she still asleep? is she sick?"
natasha raised her hand, a guilty smile on her face. “i'm the reason for that. i made her stay up late with me last night to watch five seasons of a show we discovered accidentally,” she explained, a proud smile now replacing her guilty one. “she might be a little cranky from the lack of sleep, so you better have something for her when she wakes up.”
“oh, i do.” bucky grinned like he already knew what to give her and was prepared for it. “all of you might want to leave the tower for the entire day if you don't want to hear me giving it to her.”
what used to be the shouts of bucky looking for you were now replaced with the grunts and complaints of the team because of bucky's answer.
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if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌
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hwaflms · 6 days
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HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]
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your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.
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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader
[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au
[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)
[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!
[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33
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six months.
you haven't seen this door in six months.
it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.
your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.
or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.
the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.
pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.
more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.
finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.
"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.
now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-
"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"
if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.
standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.
jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).
his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.
apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.
everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.
while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?
"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"
you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.
you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.
c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-
"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.
jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-
"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"
you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.
he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.
"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."
you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.
he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.
the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"
"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."
✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧
the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.
jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.
the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.
he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.
"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.
"let's just get this over with."
with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.
within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."
you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."
your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.
you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."
"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.
jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.
while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".
"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.
somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.
you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.
you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.
you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.
she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.
he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"
"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.
sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."
once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"
you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.
it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.
you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.
finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".
wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."
"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."
in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.
"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"
you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.
of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.
the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.
snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.
jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.
you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.
while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"
he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."
it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.
he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.
from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."
"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"
realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"
"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"
"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.
by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."
you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.
the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.
"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"
your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.
after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.
jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.
you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.
hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.
"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.
"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"
you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."
jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.
"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.
this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.
you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.
it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.
at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"
she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."
little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".
"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.
your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."
the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.
"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."
you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."
with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."
you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."
as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"
it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.
the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.
you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.
your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.
you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.
"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.
"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."
he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.
he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."
if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."
your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"
smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.
but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.
you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.
"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"
he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”
you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.
"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.
you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.
you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.
any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.
upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.
"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.
she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.
"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"
this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.
the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.
the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.
your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.
you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.
you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.
she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."
she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.
when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"
oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".
"what do you mean, cutie?"
you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.
she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"
"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"
"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"
you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–
"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."
you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.
it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.
once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.
the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.
ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."
he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.
"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.
"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."
the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.
the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.
part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.
you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.
"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."
he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.
but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."
he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.
you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.
"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."
perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.
"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."
you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.
"jaehyun, i know, i just–"
"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"
there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.
"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."
the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.
the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.
you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.
"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."
that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.
"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.
"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair,"  it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."
he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."
"i know, jaehyun-"
"then, tell me."
you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.
"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."
your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.
"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.
"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.
"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."
his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.
the car moves so slow it may as well be still but  when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."
you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.
"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.
"what do you mean?"
"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."
you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."
he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.
he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."
you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.
it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."
your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.
"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."
it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."
like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."
"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"
he nods.
"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."
he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."
you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."
you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.
"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.
it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?
you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."
he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"
you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"
you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.
jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.
"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."
he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.
not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.
he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.
"so–"
"well–"
you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.
"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.
"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."
he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"
maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."
you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.
"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."
thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"
"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."
there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.
"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"
"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."
you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.
"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."
it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."
he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.
"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."
"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"
you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."
the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.
"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.
his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."
silence.
you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.
you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.
your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."
you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.
the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."
the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."
you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.
he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"
you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.
you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”
keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.
with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."
his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.
his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.
if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.
nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."
you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."
he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.
"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."
he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”
"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"
"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.
the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.
you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.
you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.
"i think i'd love to come in."
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mylight-png · 3 months
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If you read nothing else on my blog at least read this:
Jewish survival is beautiful, and amazing.
I know times right now are absolutely awful, and it can feel like the world is against us. We're seeing the Nazi marches, the targeting of Jewish businesses, harassment of religious Jews, and so much more at a much more severe rate than many of us have seen within our lifetimes.
But we've survived this before.
The most dangerous thing right now is to lose hope. To lose hope of a better future, to lose hope of any future. We have survived the pogroms, the Holocaust, the Inquisition, the many Middle Eastern anti-Jewish genocides and attacks, various expulsions and so much more.
I've reblogged someone else's post saying this before but I'm going to say it here again: every single Jew alive right now is a miracle.
So here's one thing I want to ask of you: Live.
Do it out of love for your fellow Jews, do it out of spite towards our enemies, do it so that there will be more miracles in the future.
Living is the greatest form of Jewish rebellion.
Living a proud Jewish life is even more so, but at the very least, please live.
Please please please don't give up on life right now. If you feel alone, reach out. Reach out to your fellow Jews, find non-Jewish allies to stand by your side, seek out supportive communities.
As a Jew, you are never truly alone. You have people who will love you like family if you just reach out, because we are one. One family, one nation, one soul. And we all care for each other.
Am Yisrael Chai 💕
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kaleldobrev · 4 months
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Tattoos
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Pairing: Felix Catton x F. Reader
Platonic Pairing(s): Venetia Catton & F. Reader | Farleigh Start & F. Reader
Feat. Character(s): Reader, Felix Catton, Venetia Catton, Farleigh Start & Oliver Quick
Summary: Not only are you dating Felix and best friends with Venetia, the three of you have matching tattoos — something that Oliver simply cannot stand
Word Count: 967
Warnings: Voyeurism (briefly mentioned), Nudity (implied — as this takes place in the field), Unprotected sex (briefly mentioned/implied)
Authors Note: I love the little detail that Felix and Venetia have those matching star tattoos on their hands, so I came up with this little fic about how reader has matching tattoos with both Catton siblings (cause I honestly feel like that’s such a Felix and Venetia thing to do) | This is also my first ever Saltburn fic so I’m hoping that I was able to do the characters justice | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡
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Oliver couldn’t help but stare at the small crescent moon tattoo on your ankle; the exact same crescent moon tattoo that both Felix and Venetia had — and in the exact same place — the right ankle.
He wasn’t…jealous, no that wasn’t the right word, but that was the only word that came to mind for him. He didn’t want a tattoo, was never a fan of them on himself, but, seeing you in particular with this tattoo was hitting him, hitting him harder than he’d particularly like to admit. You weren’t family — you were Venetia’s best friend and Felix’s…girlfriend. He understood the little stars that Venetia and Felix had — they were siblings and had an intense unique bond. But you…you were nobody to them less than 5 years ago. But here you here, the three of you with matching tattoos and you strutting around the estate like you were already a Catton.
He must have been staring in one direction for too long, as he heard Felix's voice calling out to him. "You alright there Ollie?" He asked, and Oliver found himself snapping out of whatever trance like state he had just been in.
“I’m f—I’m fine,” he said, trying to sound a little bit more confident than he currently felt in this moment.
When Felix spoke, not only did he turn to look at him, but you, Venetia, and Farleigh did as well. “Are you sure?” You asked, genuinely concerned about his well-being. Oh, how he despised how much you truly seemed to care.
"You've been staring off into space," Felix added. "What'ya staring at?" He asked, placing the lollipop he had been sucking on back into his mouth.
"Probably Y/N's ass," Farleigh teased, and you swatted his arm playfully; giggling briefly. Your laugh disgusted him because of how sickingly sweet it sounded.
"Farleigh, I'm sure he wasn't," you said defending him. You turned your attention to him, a soft smile on your lips. "Isn't that right Ollie?" You asked. He could barely see your face between the combination of the bright sun and your giant sunglasses that seemed to take up the entirety of your face, similarly to that of Venetia's sunglasses.
"Yeah, wasn't...staring," Ollie answered; his vocal tone sounding a tad nervous; and a little embarrassed. He wasn't looking at you, not in that way; you weren't the reason he was here, Felix was.
"I wouldn't blame ya Ollie," Felix began. "She does have a nice one," he finished, his voice almost sounding proud as he smacked your bare rear in front of the four of you.
You let out a tiny yelp; not the usual kind of moan you usually let out whenever he's heard you and Felix have sex. "Get a room you two," Venetia said, briefly glancing up from her book.
"We have a whole estate love," you winked; both you and Felix started laughing in response.
"Not when I'm still living here," she added.
"I second that," Farleigh said, chiming back into the conversation as he raised his hand in agreement with Venetia.
"Prudes," you mumbled underneath your breath, slightly teasing.
"Hey!" Venetia exclaimed. It was her turn to playfully swat you. "If anyone is the prude, it's little Ollie over there." She grinned. "Ollie, when was the last time you had sex?"
"V!" Both Felix and you exclaimed.
"What?" Venetia asked, her tone slightly clueless.
"You cannot just ask people that. It's a little rude," you stated.
"It's not rude. It's a perfectly fine question," she defended. "For example," she began, turning her attention to her brother. "Felix, when was the last time you had sex?" A smallish grin forming on her lips; as if she already knew the answer to her question.
"This morning," he responded all too quickly, and you swatted him on the chest, which caused him to smirk at you in response. Oliver knew all too well the truth in that statement, as he had a slight front row seat to yours and Felix's morning activities. He didn't see anything, but he heard everything as if he was in the room with the two of you. The moans the both of you let out, the dirty talk the both of you shared — performing in such a way as if the two of you were the only two in the entire estate. He wanted so much to see it, to open the bedroom door, he knew that the door would have creaked — pressing his ear against the bedroom door sufficed...for now anyway.
"Kinky," Farleigh smirked, and you rolled your eyes.
"All of you are ridiculous," you stated, closing your book as you started to slowly kick your feet in the air. "Don't answer her Ollie."
"It was before uni," he mumbled.
"What'ya say Ollie?" Felix asked, raising a brow.
"Before uni," Oliver said a bit louder this time.
Felix and Venetia exchanged looks before Felix looked at him with a slightly devilish looking grin. It was impossible not to love any kind of smile he would give. "For your party tomorrow, we'll get you laid. It'll be my birthday present to you."
"Kind of a lame birthday present, love," you teased.
Felix let out a small laugh. "You weren't complaining when that was a part of your birthday gift last year," he teased back. That's when he leaned in, kissing you in the most loving way possible; and Oliver actually felt like he was on the verge of throwing up looking at the two of you. He had witnessed the two of you kissing plenty of times, had witnessed snippets of you two being intimate in various ways, but for some reason, this particular interaction had almost set him off. Felix was so madly in love with you that it physically pained him to see it.
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cheoliehansolie · 1 month
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The Hoodie
Summary: Wonwoo learns something interesting about you wearing his hoodies.
Word Count: ~2.8 k
Pairing: fem reader x Wonwoo
Warnings: Implied smut and a bit suggestive
an: I'm finally back after accidentally taking a break for a month. Thank you guys for waiting patiently <3. As always, if you liked reading this, please reblog or leave a comment. If you have any suggestions or you just want to talk, send me an ask and we can be friends 💕
To read more, check out my masterlist.
---
You woke up to the soft rays of sunlight filtering into your room through your blinds. Waking up to the warmth of sunlight on your cheeks had to be your favorite part of spring. Glancing at the clock on your bedside table, you shock yourself with how early you’ve woken up on a Saturday.
Normally you’re one to sleep until you absolutely need to get out of bed on the weekends, but today you’ve somehow managed to wake up at 7:30. Feeling proud of yourself, you decide to take this as your sign to be productive and to spend the day finally cleaning your apartment.
This past week had been hectic with work and the semester coming to an end that you barely had time to sleep, let alone clean your space. So, your apartment had been looking like a tornado blew through it for a while now and it definitely was not helping your mental state.
Deciding to bite the bullet, you shove your blanket from off your figure and force yourself out of bed. What? Just because you woke up early and decided to be productive in your head doesn’t mean that it’s not hard to get out of bed, especially when the mornings are still cold.
You rush into the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth and shower to warm yourself up. Once you’re done with your shower, you put on a pair of leggings and your hoodie (yeah, definitely yours and not your boyfriend’s).
As you’re tying your hair up into a ponytail, you make your way out of your room and into the living room. You immediately groan seeing all your college papers on your dining table which is serving as your makeshift desk, the trash on your kitchen counters, and the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
Seeing the amount of overall filth in your living space, you were extremely tempted to just go back to bed and pretend you never had plans of cleaning, but you knew that if you didn’t clean your apartment now, you never would. So, you grab your phone, blast your cleaning playlist, and get to work.
It took you basically all morning just to clean your kitchen and it’s safe to say that morale was at an all time low. You collapsed onto your couch out of exhaustion and hunger. You hadn’t expected it to take so long to clean so you thought you could just eat breakfast after cleaning.
The second your body began relaxing on the couch, you heard a knock at your door. You laid there silently hoping that the person at your door would leave, but less than a minute later the knocking continued.
You let out a groan of frustration as you force yourself off the couch and make the trek to the front door less than a few feet away.
You swing open your front door, a frown still on your face. It takes you a second to register who’s at your door, but when you do, you’re left confused.
Wonwoo stands in front of you dressed casually a pair of gray sweatpants and a black tee shirt. You notice in one hand he’s holding a white plastic bag, which you can only assume contains take out.
“Wonwoo? What are you doing here?” you ask as you wrack your brain trying to remember if you had plans to see each other today.
“You weren’t answering any of my texts so I decided to stop by and make sure everything was okay.” he explains as you step aside letting him into your apartment.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I spent the past few hours cleaning. I haven’t been on my phone since I got up. I didn’t mean to worry you.” you say with your lips slightly down turned and eyebrows furrowed.
You felt bad for making him worry to the point that he felt the need to come to your apartment.
“Hey, it’s fine.” he says softly, noticing how upset you looked at yourself. “I wanted to see you anyways, so you not answering gave me an excuse to see you.”
Once Wonwoo took his shoes off, he finally registered what you looked like. His lips almost immediately turned up into a small smile as he realized that the hoodie you were wearing was none other than his own. He noticed the subtle flush in your cheeks, the thin sheen of sweat creating a film over your skin, and the way strands of hair were falling out of your ponytail. 
Noticing the fact that Wonwoo was just silently standing in your entryway, you ushered him deeper into your apartment. Honestly, you had noticed his eyes wandering over your figure and you couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed by the current state of your appearance. You and Wonwoo had been dating for about a year, but something about the way he looks at you makes you feel the same way you did during your first date.
“So, whatcha got in the bag?” you asked, looking pointedly at the plastic bag in his right hand.
“Oh, this? I picked up lunch from your favorite place. I thought you might’ve been sleeping or something when I texted you so I thought it would be nice to bring you some food.”
“Aww, thank you so much babe!” you exclaim in excitement. “Why don’t you go sit on the couch and I’ll just grab us some plates from the kitchen?”
Wonwoo gives you a nod as he makes his way to the couch. He places the bag of food on the table in front of him and he watches as you walk around the kitchen grabbing plates, utensils, and glasses of water for the two of you. He can’t help but coo every time you tug at the sleeves of his too large hoodie to grab everything.
“Why’re you looking at me like that?” you ask once you’ve joined your boyfriend on the couch.
“No reason. You just look cute in my hoodie, that’s all.” he says, a small smile of endearment grazing his lips.
You feel yourself flush at his statement and pull your hair out of your lopsided ponytail as an attempt to distract yourself from how flustered Wonwoo still makes you even after how long you’ve been dating.
“Let’s eat, shall we?” you ask, trying to steer the conversation to more neutral territory. 
Wonwoo can’t keep himself from smiling a little wider at your flustered state, but he decides to take pity on you and drops the subject. Just this once, though.
Soon enough, conversation flows easily between the two of you as you share your meal together. Before you know it, the plates in front of you are empty and there lies another thing left for you to clean. Just as you’re about to get up to clean the small mess in front of you (it merely is a drop of water in the ocean of a mess your apartment is), Wonwoo beats you to it and is stacking the dirty utensils in his hands.
“Wonwoo, I can clean it.” you whine when he motions for you to stay seated as he continues cleaning.
“You can rest on the couch. Didn’t you say that you spent the entire morning cleaning?” he asks.
“Yeah, but I -” before you can finish your sentence, Wonwoo cuts you off.
“No buts! You looked exhausted when I got here. The least I can do is clean up the mess I helped make. Besides, I’m not called the dishwashing fairy for nothing.” he says with a smile.
Before you can protest, Wonwoo gives you a pointed look and you realize there’s no way that you can change his mind so you collapse backwards onto your couch letting him do whatever he wants.
You’re left alone with your thoughts for the first time today with the soft clattering of dishes coming from the kitchen serving as white noise. You’re suddenly aware of how warm you feel and you feel as though you are overheating. 
You had spent the day either distracted by cleaning or distracted by Wonwoo that you didn’t realize the rise in temperature in your apartment. It was finally spring time and as much as you loved it, you despised how it would be so cold in the mornings and evenings but warm in the afternoons making it almost impossible to dress appropriately without freezing in the morning or melting in the afternoon.
Feeling sweat prickle on your skin, you decide the only thing you can do is change out of Wonwoo’s thick hoodie into a thin, flowy tee shirt.
When you get up to go change, Wonwoo can see you from your kitchen sink a few feet away and he’s instantly curious as to what you’re up to.
“Where’re you going, love?” he asks from the sink as he continues to scrub the plate in front of him.
“I’m gonna change into something thinner. It’s too warm to be wearing a hoodie right now.” you say as you stop at the entryway of your kitchen to respond to him.
“Why do you need to change for that, though?” he asks, taking his eyes off the plate in front of him to glance at you with his confused eyes.
“I just told you, I’m overheating.” you say, confused as to why he’s confused.
“Can’t you just take it off here?”
You feel heat rush to your face, and you’re now feeling warm from embarrassment.
“Well… I would but…” you trailed off, hoping that you would just disappear or he would drop the subject.
“But…?” Wonwoo asks, having finished washing the dishes and giving you his full attention.
You take a deep breath to steady yourself. Just say it quickly, it’s like ripping a bandaid off. you think to yourself.
In one breath, as quickly as you can, you say, “I would but I’m not wearing anything underneath.”
It takes Wonwoo a second to understand what you said, but when he does, less than ten seconds after the words left your mouth, you’re already in your room with the door closed behind you.
Wonwoo feels his cheeks heat up as he realizes that this entire day, including the past hour plus that the two of you spent together, the only thing separating your top half from the rest of the world was his hoodie. He originally thought you looked so cute drowning in his hoodie and while he still does, this new information changes his entire perception of the time you’ve spent together.
Meanwhile, you were pacing around your room silently screaming at yourself. I can’t believe I just told him that I was both shirtless and braless under his hoodie. Why would I do that? What if he thinks I’m weird? Or worse, what if I made him uncomfortable? 
Letting out a defeated groan, you force yourself to push all these worries out of your head. You decide that you can’t hide in your room forever, mainly because you know Wonwoo would come looking for you at some point. So, you change into a loose fitting shirt, take a deep breath, and step out of your room.
Your eyes immediately search the kitchen to see if Wonwoo is where you left him, but he’s not there anymore. You wander deeper into your apartment and you find Wonwoo sitting on your couch, casually scrolling on his phone. 
You don’t think he notices your presence and based on how calm he looks, you feel hopeful that he either a) forgot the conversation happened or b) didn’t think it was as much of a big deal as you made it out to be in your head. But when you sit on the other end of the couch and Wonwoo drops his phone to the side to look at you with a knowing smirk on his face, you realize that you were so, so, so wrong.
“So, you wanna talk about it?” Wonwoo asks with a teasing glint in his eyes.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you respond, feigning innocence and looking anywhere but your boyfriend sitting a few inches away from you.
“Really? Because I seem to recall you saying that you weren’t wearing anything under my hoodie today.”
Your face flushes for the thousandth time today and you can’t help but feel a little guilty.
“Listen Wonwoo, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier. That wasn’t my intention.” you say, looking into his eyes earnestly.
“Wait, why are you apologizing?” he asks you confused.
“Because it’s obvious that I made you uncomfortable earlier.” 
“Babe, I don’t know why you would think I would feel uncomfortable by it. The only reason I didn’t respond was because I was just a little shocked, that’s all. If anything, it’s kinda hot now that I know that you’ve been walking around with nothing underneath my hoodie.”
Feeling embarrassed by assuming that Wonwoo was uncomfortable and by hearing his true feelings, you grab a throw pillow from your couch and bury your face into it.
“I can’t believe I embarrassed myself in front of you twice in one day.” you mumble into the pillow.
“Hey, this can’t be as embarrassing as when you tripped over Vernon’s bag and ended up spilling your drink on Mingyu’s lap.” Wonwoo says.
“I thought we all agreed to not bring that up anymore.” you whine as you hit him with the pillow in your hands.
“I’m just saying, you’ve done more embarrassing things in your life than telling me you're naked under my hoodie.”
“Wow, thank you so much Wonwoo. I feel so much better about myself.” you say sarcastically.
“Aww, babe I’m sorry.” he says as he reaches for your hands.
“Forget it.” you say, faking annoyance as you get up to go clean off your dining table turned desk.
“Babe.” Wonwoo whines as he rushes behind you and grabs your wrist.
Before you know it, Wonwoo tugs at your wrist pulling you close into his chest. Your breath hitches at the boldness of his actions and you peer up at him through your lashes to see what his next move is.
He removes his hand from your wrist and gently raises your chin so he can look into your eyes.
“I’m sorry babe.” he says.
When you’re about to open your mouth to tell him it’s fine, you’re silenced by his lips on yours. Deciding that you actually had nothing to say, you choose to melt into the kiss instead. 
Once the two of you part for air, you say “I guess you’re forgiven.”
“You don’t sound too confident about your answer.” he says, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Maybe I’m not confident in my answer. What’re you gonna do about it?” you challenge.
“Then let me make it up to you in a different way.” he says as he pulls you into another kiss.
It’s safe to say that you didn’t get any cleaning done for the rest of the day.
When you go over to Wonwoo’s place for movie night a few weeks later, Wonwoo is more than happy to see you wearing one of his hoodies you’ve taken from him.
While the two of you are cuddling together on the couch, Wonwoo can’t help but let his curiosity get the best of him. When you’re engrossed in the movie, Wonwoo takes his hand that was resting on your thigh and brings it up to the hem of hoodie loosely covering your frame.
This grabs your attention and you turn to him to look at him with your eyebrows furrowed. But Wonwoo’s eyes are fixed on the screen in front of you and it makes you wonder if you were just imagining things. Deciding that you were just being weird, you turn your attention back to the screen.
When Wonwoo notices that your attention is on the movie again, he takes that as his sign to move his hand again. He slips his hand under the hem of the hoodie and he slowly inches closer and closer to your chest.
Although your eyes were trained on the movie playing in front of you, all of your attention was on Wonwoo’s hand slowly grazing your skin as he made his way up your body. Your breath hitched when you felt his cold hand gently graze your bare breast and you turned to face Wonwoo.
He looked at you with a smirk on his lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes. Something told you that you wouldn’t know how the movie would end.
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i23kazu · 6 months
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♡ GENSHIN MEN & STUDYING WITH YOU
characters. xiao diluc kaeya childe wriothesley lyney alhaitham x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff. an. i need motivation. they are my motivation | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D
xiao
he's the one who's a all the noise-cancellation, blacklisted apps kind of student. everything is on lockdown and on do not disturb mode – please don't disturb him. poke him with your pen and you'll just see him roll his eyes at you– no, seriously- it's not worth it! however, xiao is also a really good student ; always on task, even on the subjects that he absolutely despises. ask him to tutor you and he might grumble and groan, but what happens when the tutor falls in love with his student?
diluc
possibly the class rep. studying with him is a express ticket to resources that teachers had given him because of his high-class status. he's not proud of it – he believes that each student deserves the chance to have the same access as him – which is why he's willing to share it with you as well. we didn't even have to meet up, you could just have sent it over- you whine, but the tinge of crimson on his cheeks is a telltale sign that perhaps he needed- no, wanted, this excuse.
kaeya
the teasy study buddy. watch him annoy the hell out of you– you know he's teasing, but sometimes it hurts. "haha, i thought i taught you this already? does the little bunny not have enough space in there?" he taps your head with his pen. it's only when your face crumples and you start to mumble out apologies, teardrops cockling your paper – that he panics. "shit- i'm sorry– how can i make it better?" he wipes your tears away. he makes it up with a sweet kiss and a stack of gift cards to your favourite cafes.
childe
he's the friend who keeps you going, truly. if sunshine was bottled up and wrapped with a bow and had an orange cap, it would be childe! watching your face fall after staring at algebra simply won't do, no, no. let him lead you as he tugs on your hands outside of the study room, and just let your feet follow in his footsteps – you'll find yourself outside the library cafe. "alright, it's on me! what do you want?" maybe his wallet is a little lighter, but so is his heart, once he sees your face light up.
wriothesley
wriothesley is the one who has it all planned out. first, you'll start studying at 10pm... which is a little late, but it's alright. you'll get tired around midnight, which will be when he offers you the first cup of chamomile. "won't this put me to sleep?" you whine, accepting it from him anyways. he chuckles and runs his hands through your hair, replying that it's never worked on him. true enough, you start getting sleepy around half past one – finally leaning against his shoulder, your arms going slack. kissing your head, he drapes a blanket around you. good night, (y/n).
lyney
the one who sits besides you, cracking jokes every now and then! but when it's time to study, he can buckle down and start doing work –that's just lyney – the human on and off switch. there's something about him doing work while twirling his poker cards in his hands that's just so mesmerising – a stare too long catches his eye, and he starts doing a trick for you. get back to work!, you laugh and playfully swat his shoulder, turning back to your own paper. he chuckles in return, and unbeknownst to you, turns back with a smile.
alhaitham
alhaitham can be stricter as a study buddy – he's stern with distractions, wanting you to keep your phone to the side as he's explaining concepts – yes, concepts you learnt, but never understood. "hey, eyes here. did you understand, or do i need to go through it again?" he sounds bored, and you feel sorry for him. you mumble a soft i understand back, and he sighs and tells you to take a break. "look up." your eyes trail up from your phone, and instinctively close as he presses a sweet kiss to your forehead.
taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @chichikoi @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiths @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @starz222 @ilyuu @cherry-colored-petals @mondaymelon @tartaglia-apologist @soleillunne @m1shapanda @aimynx @smokipoki @adeptuscharm @diorlumx @vennnnn-diagram @ryuryuryuyurboat @yuminako @st0pthatsgay @aqualesha @sixtynintharchon @supernova25 @kunikuda-simp @starglitterz @rin-nyrasti-writes @mxyarylla (send ask/comment to be added to taglist)
reblogs w/ tags & comments help me lots !!! if you liked this, consider dropping me a follow as well :-)
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jinnie-ret · 8 months
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heatstroke
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stray kids x ninth member!reader
genre: fluff, angst
content warnings: heat stroke, vomiting
word count: 1.9k
summary: y/n suffers from heat stroke on the day of their performance at lollapalooza
As voted by you!
It's finally here! Sorry it took me a while to post this after the poll ended, but I hope you enjoy!
As always, like, reblog if you enjoyed, and my asks are open for any requests you may have. And let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I post :)
MAIN MASTERLIST
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They had made it to Paris. Y/N couldn't believe how big the crowd would be for their performance at the festival 'Lollapalooza'. The sun was shining, and all she wanted to do was fully appreciate the nice weather. Although, where there was a Changbin, there was always chaos.
"Hwang Hyunjin!" Changbin called from opposite Y/N in his deck chair.
"Why do you keep calling me? Wae? Wae. Wae?" Hyunjin loomed over Changbin in a hoodie and sunglasses, wondering why the older member wanted his attention.
"Jinnie how are you wearing a hoodie right now? The sun's out, it's boiling," Y/N raised an eyebrow at him.
"It's not that hot," he shook his head at her, probably side eyeing her from behind his shades.
Each to their own, Y/N thought.
Somehow they came onto the topic of noodles but Y/N wasn't really fussed, she had ramen all the time back home.
She was more trying to relax, and she couldn't help but fall asleep from the comforting warmth of the French sunshine.
"Y/Nnie, wake up, you look like a tomato," Jeongin shook her awake, and as she became fully aware she realised her arms and neck was feeling quite hot.
Shit, she forgot her sun cream.
"You good? Your arms are so red," Chan peered at her, concerned.
"Mmm, my neck feels hot too," Y/N sits up in the deck chair, brushing her hair back so the boys could see.
"Aish that sunburn looks bad, you should have put on some suncream," Felix lightly brushes his finger over her red arm, making her wince.
"Gosh, I'm going to look like a tomato when we perform," Y/N laughs as she looks down at her arms.
"At this rate you won't just look like a tomato, you'll look like the whole garden," Lee Know smirks, proud of his joke.
"Ha, ha, very funny Lee Know," Y/N pats his cheek in a jokingly patronising way, smiling back at him.
"You need to take better care of yourself, Y/N," Chan looked over her, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry Channie, I just wanted to enjoy the nice weather," Y/N pouted.
"You do realise you can get skin cancer if you burn too much?" Seungmin pointed out, taking a sip of water from his bottle.
"Yah, Seungmin don't say things like that I'll get paranoid," Y/N whacks his arm lightly.
"Hey I'm just saying, your skin will age faster too," Seungmin shrugged.
"I'll look like an old woman next to you guys and I'm the youngest!" Y/N laughed, Han appearing with aloe vera out of nowhere and gently rubbing it into her skin, letting out quiet apologies when she winced.
"That's why I'm helping you, don't want you to look like a 60 year old next to us whilst we still look the same," Han laughed loudly.
"Haha, that would look kinda funny though," Y/N laughed at the thought. Perhaps she'd look like grandma I.N with the rest of the group alongside her.
"You know what else would be funny?" Changbin wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"What?" Y/N asked curiously, shifting her body to stand and face him.
"To see you dancing on stage like a tomato, everyone going crazy because of how big and red you are," Changbin maniacally giggled.
The boys burst out laughing at the statement and Y/N's face.
"Huh? Big?!" Y/N gasped laughing.
"I was talking about your cheeks, they're really big and red right now," Changbin laughed, waving his hands in defense of how what he said had sounded.
"Haha, I'll introduce myself like, hi! This isn't Y/Nnie, I'm tomato today!" Y/N put on her stage voice, pretending to introduce herself to her fans.
The members all laugh at her, Jeongin walking up to her and tickling her sides.
"Hey! Are you the new mascot for ketchup?" he cheekily grinned, eyes disappearing through his smile.
"Yah! Jeongin!" Y/N guffawed from his remark.
"Ah, our tomato is blushing so much," Lee Know pats her head smirking.
"Stop, stop," Y/N waves them away.
"Haha, seriously though, come inside the tent for a bit, you should stay out of the sun," Chan guided her into their tent where they were setup before their performance.
"Yeah it's not like we're performing until a few hours anyways," Lee Know nodded, as they all sat around inside.
"Aish, I'm tired," Y/N laid her head down in Han's lap, his hand brushing through her hair out of habit.
"You were literally just napping," Hyunjin raised a brow at her.
"Yeah but..." Y/N closed her eyes feeling relaxed at the familiar feeling.
"Drink some water first," Hyunjin put a bottle of water with a straw in it to her face.
Still with her eyes shut she took a sip and then relaxed. It wasn't until a couple of hours later that she was woken up and ushered to the stylists and makeup artists to get ready.
The crowd was insane. And really, they were the only thing keeping her going as she could feel her energy depleting. She didn't notice the glances from the boys throughout the performance, occasionally spotting her swaying yet she still managed to keep her vocals stable as they performed Superbowl for the first time ever, and Item for the second time ever.
The euphoria running through her veins began to leave her once they reached backstage. With a smile she listened to Felix end their set to hype the crowd with Seven Nation Army. But she couldn't help her slumped figure as she sat down after her desperate search for a chair.
"You good, Y/Nnie?" Chan patted her shoulder, trying to get her attention.
"Hot," Y/N panted, tugging at the collar of her leather jacket that she had been fitted with for the stage performance.
"Take it off then," Changbin helped her shake it off, now feeling concerned at her heavily sweating state.
"What's going on with Y/N?" some of the other members asked as they walked over.
"Ugh, my head," she groaned, now leant forward as she gripped onto her knees for some stability.
"Have some water, silly," Seungmin encouraged her to take his own, yet her shaky hand wasn't very reassuring to the others.
"Y/Nnie, you can't even hold onto it, are you dizzy? What's the matter?" Felix poured out questions, worried about the state she was in.
"Mmm," Y/N nods, as Jeongin helps her sip from the water bottle.
"Ah that's not good," Hyunjin shakes his head, frowning.
"Here, come on, let's get you relaxed somewhere else," Changbin helps her stand, yet as her body becomes upright she stumbles, Lee Know helping to support her balance.
Y/N suddenly tears up, feeling scared about how she was feeling. It was all too overwhelming, and everything felt too hot.
"C-can't feel my arms," Y/N whimpered as tears fell down her cheeks, the boys murmuring amongst themselves worriedly.
"You can't feel your arms?" Felix asked, a scared look on his face, and that made Y/N feel worse, she didn't want the boys to be stressed out for her sake.
"I'm sorry, I..." Y/N trailed off, still panting as she was guided back to her chair, the boys deciding it was for the better for her to rest for now where she was, instead of moving her somewhere else.
"You're okay. Everything is going to be ok, sweetheart, we've got you, yeah?" Chan hushed her soothingly, Han rubbing her back in small circles.
"Should we call a medic?" Jeongin asked, eyes wide with uneasiness.
"Yes, good idea, Innie," Lee Know nodded at him, as they both went to look for some help.
"Y/N, you're ok, you're going to be ok," Hyunjin quietly comforted her, a light grip on her hand as he knelt down beside her.
Y/N groaned again from her headache getting worse.
"Where are those medics?" Changbin asked, looking around frustratedly with his hands on his hips, wondering what was taking so long.
"Don't... worry... don't waste... on me..." Y/N could barely get her words out, especially as a wave of nausea overcome her.
"Yah, it's not a waste, you're clearly not well right now Y/N," Han looked sullen, now fanning her face with a piece of paper he had found.
"S-sorry... ugh, feel... sick," she mumbled dizzily, slumped in the chair.
"You feel sick?" Hyunjin worried.
"I'm gonna... ugh," Y/N, with all her willpower, lifted herself out of the chair, yet it wasn't enough to keep her standing as she collapsed to her knees on the ground and threw up whatever was in her system. The boys were unable to catch her and yelled out as she fell.
"Y/N! Shit!" Changbin held her against him.
"Where are the medics?!" Chan yelled angrily, stress consuming him as their maknae was on the ground.
"Ah, ugh, I'm, ah I'm sorry," Y/N whimpered, tears running down her face from her own panic and the feeling of throwing up.
"You don't have to be sorry, it's ok, just take a deep breath," Han held her hair back, looking around at the boys with his eyes shining with his own tears as he feared she wouldn't be ok.
Y/N threw up again, gasping for breath.
"Is that all of it?" Hyunjin whispered from beside them, Y/N tearily nodding as she slumped back in Changbin's arms, feeling dazed.
Lee Know and Jeongin suddenly rushed over with the medics, both of them seeming angry.
"Finally! Where were they?!" Chan asked them, sighing disappointedly.
"Packing up, they were ready to go even though we only just finished performing," Lee Know gritted his teeth as the medics lifted Y/N onto a stretcher and took her through to a medical room, much cooler with air conditioning blasting through the room.
They held a wet cloth against her forehead and against her burns to try and lower her body temperature. The boys couldn't do anything but wait anxiously as they saw their youngest laying down and getting treated.
"Her temperature is dropping, that's a good sign," the medic said out loud to the boys.
Half an hour had passed and Y/N was now more aware of her surroundings, the medics clearing that she could head back to the hotel with the boys, telling them that if her condition worsens again that they need to call an ambulance immediately.
"I'm sorry," Y/N sleepily muttered as they helped her into the company cars.
"Don't apologise, we were more concerned about you," Seungmin informed her, an arm wrapped around her waist as he and Hyunjin guided her into the back of the car.
"That's why I feel bad," Y/N bit her lip.
"It's ok, you can rest now, don't worry about it ok? I know it's easier said than done but we'll make sure you're ok, and we're doing that because we care about you, yeah?" Chan said from the front seat.
"Ok, ok," she yawned, head leaning against Hyunjin's shoulder.
Once they arrived back at the hotel they didn't let her stay in her own room, as she instead was looked after by Lee Know and Jeongin in another, the two of them making sure she was relaxed and not too hot as they kept the air conditioning on. It may have felt a bit cold for them at one point but they didn't mind, they'd do anything for her. All of the boys would.
tagged: @skz-streamer @oo-li
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justwonder113 · 2 months
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Maknae Part of this lovely ask
Hyung line Here
Masterlist
Warnings: I don't think there's any, but if I missed please tell me. Not proofread. Jisung is having twins other than that nothing is specified.
A/N - I hope you like it, please share your thoughts and reblog. I really love hearing your thoughts. If you have any requests feel free to request. Love you all, please take care of yourselves ❤️❤️❤️
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Han Jisung
You couldn't wait to tell Jisung the news. You just knew that he would lose his mind. You two had been trying for a baby for a while now, and you've noticed some changes recently. But you were misled like that earlier with symptoms, so you wanted to make sure that you were actually pregnant. And after taking countless pregnancy tests this morning after Jisung left for work, you headed to the doctor. And he gave you the most wonderful news ever.
You couldn't help but giggle as you walked into the JYP building. Of course, the only thing that could be heard on the whole floor was the screams of your husband and his bandmates. The sound hit you like a wave once the elevator door opened. In fact, they were being so loud they didn't even hear you knock on the door. Thankfully Chan heard you knock and led you inside, welcoming you first with a warm hug. The boys quickly greeted you, well almost everyone, your husband along with Hyunjin and Minho was so distracted by debating that he didn't even notice you walk in. You quickly gave the snaks you had bought earlier to Chan to share with the boys and approached your husband. You couldn't help but roll your eyes once you realized what they were arguing about. Hyunjin and the homewrecker aka Minho kept arguing who was closest to Jisung and your husband, being the menace he is, was only putting gasoline on the fire, enjoying the chaos way too much. Han saw you immediately and quickly approached you and gave you the sweetest kiss ever. Minho and Hyunjin kept arguing and didn't even notice you. Han quickly explained that they were arguing who should be your baby's godfather because being an uncle wasn't enough. You were impressed Hyunjin was this ballsy towards Minho. Who kept grumbling from time to time that he would put Hyunjin in the airfryer and that would solve everything. Han admitted to them that you two were trying for a baby. You smiled at Han and gave him a kiss on the cheek, you motioned to him to listen to you well. You then approached Minho and Hyunjin and stopped them by putting your hand on their shoulders. (Yes you were in a dramatic mood like that.) "You don't need to fight about it. I have great news!" You turned to your Husband who looked at you with wide curiosity filled eyes. "I'm pregnant Ji, and we're going to have twins!" If you thought that they were being loud earlier, your eardrums almost burst from the collective cheers of the boys. As for your husband, he most definitely kind of fainted and was bought back by an awestruck Minho who quickly smacked him on the head to pull himself together. Han quickly regained himself and was all kver you in seconds. Littering your face with millions of kisses, showering you with all kinds of praices.
All of the boys were over the moon and kept congratulating you. Minho and Hyunjin stopped their silly little argument and now sat on each side of you talking to your belly all excited( and if you're wondering that shouldn't your husband be by your side especially now? Bold of you to assume that he even let you go, you were sat on his lap proudly and he kept showering you with affection). Boasting about how much of a cool uncles and godfathers they were going to be. Hyunjin kept talking about how he could teach the babies how to draw, Minho kept talking that he would let them play with his cats and he could teach them how to dance. At that Hyunjin also got visibly more excited. And now they kept talking about all the cool choreos they could teach the kids. Han kept listening with the most proud look in his eyes as he squeezed you closer to him, carefully, of course, but enough to show you just how much he loved you.
It was really sweet and you couldn't stop smiling. Seungmin, being the mance he is, did warn you that you should spare your kids from all the influence of all three of the paboracha members, and you couldn't help but laugh at that, much to the said trios dismay. But you know in the end everything was going to be just fine.
Lee Felix
It was a well-known fact that everyone and their mother adored Lee Felix. You also were one of the victims who fell to his deadly charms and sunshine persona. Of course, you were lucky enough (plenty, like be for real) to call him your husband, but anyways, you get the point. Now imagine what would happen if the said sunshine was soon going to be a father? If your answer is that everyone was going to lose their mind over it, then you're correct because that's exactly what happened. The boys were over the moon once they heard that you were pregnant. Of course they were shocked at first, it was kind of hard to imagine their sunshine baby as a father but they quickly aquitanced with the idea and now were more than excited to be the uncles.
Especially Chan. He was the most excited out of the boys. He loved everyone like they were his brothers but it was a known fact that his bond with Felix ran deeper than that. And now he was as exited as if his actual sibling was expecting a child. Felix was also on the same wavelength and as he didn't have any brothers he did view Chris as the uncle of his Child.
Chan tried his best to be as supportive and as helpful as possible. It was really endearing and cute. All of the boys were. But nothing could beat Chan's determination, especially not when he gave your little one the most precious gift ever. He wrote a little lullaby so you and felix could sing it to the kid every night. It was so beautiful too! Both you and Felix couldn't help but tear up. You two were on each side of him cuddling and hugging him as tight as possible while he smiled shyly saying that this was nothing and he would write many more songs for the kid to enjoy. He really was the most precious best uncle ever.
Kim Seungmin
Your sweet husband was so excited that you were going to have a baby soon. He could barely hold his excitement. It was really endearing. He was so sweet and gentle with you! He gave into your every wish and little craving. He basically carried you on top of his hand. He didn't even tease you that much. It was really cute to see him so eager. Also, you just loved how neat and organized he was. He wanted everything to be perfect for the kid and thought through everything.
You two were settling up the nursery for the kid. He ordered the prettiest set for the kid. He spent a whole month researching all the best products read every review and ect. You just love how excited he was. And you just loved every piece he had chosen. He basically did a presentation on each and every one of them.You gave your comments and your ideas and showerd him your pinterest board, and just like that, you ordered everything for the most perfect prettiest nursery ever.
But now, the dilemma was that you had to assemble everything. Which was a bit harder than you thought, especially since Seungmin barely let you do anything and told you to rest since you were almost 6 months pregnant. You were more than capable, but here was no point in arguing with him, so you gave in.
He sat like that for a while, trying to assemble confusing peaces together, but he gave up after a while. And decided to do something he rarely did. He asked for help.
Changbin was a bit confused, unused to Seungmin directly asking for help. But he was more than happy to help. He quickly got into things and in no time got the hang of it.
You decided to bring the snacks and drinks to the boys, not wanting them to overwork themselves. Seungmin was quietly working on the crib while Changbin helped him and softly sang the song he was working on. And that's when you felt it. "The baby kicked!" Both of the boys' heads snapped in your direction, and in seconds you were sat on the tiny sofa you had chosen for the nursery. Seugnmin and Changbin were on each side of you kneeled on the ground, watching you with eager eyes. Your husband had his hands on your belly and kept encouraging the baby to kick again, but nothing. You waited like this for a while. Both you and Seungmin encouraged and talked sweetly, but still nothing, then Seungmin had an idea. He looked unsure first but still decided to try it out. He turned to Changbin and asked him to sing the song again. Changbin looked confused for a second but quickly complied. And that's when you felt another kick. Seungmin looked like he was about to cry, feeling his child kick. Changbin was so shocked, too! He was over the moon. And he was so excited that the baby liked his voice he immediately started bragging that the baby liked him and that he was most definitely the child's favourite uncle. He kept happily singing the song to you. Of course promising to write many more songs for the litrle one to enjoy. Seungmin was a little bit petty that the baby kicked for Changbin's voice and not his, but he was more than happy that the baby was feeling good and healthy. Although he did promise himself to outshine Changbin and sing prettiest of songs to the baby.
IN
Everyone almost lost their minds then they they heard that their maknae, their babybread was going to be a father. And if you fought that they were protective of Innie they were 10 no 100 times worse for you. They never let you lift a finger whenever they were around and always basically spoiled you rotten as if Innie didn't do that already.
8 months into pregnancy went just like that, so smoothly and without much discomfort. You really couldn't wait before you could hold your little one in your hands.
The little one must have been eager to see the world too because they were always so active. They always kicked around and wiggled for many things, but their favourite seemed to be Seungmin's voice. You discovered it randomly, Seungmin was visiting you and Innie. It was a peaceful day. Your baby was also really calm that day. It was quiet until Seungmin broke the silence by humming some song that was on his mind. And once the kiddo caught the voice they almost went crazy in your womb. Both you and Innie were shocked, but the kid really seemed to love Seungmin's voice. And since that, whenever he was around, Seungmin always hummed different songs to you. Not only did it soothe the baby, but you also really enjoyed it. Even now, as you listened to Seungmin humm some lullaby, you felt so content and peaceful, your eyes were starting to droop. The little one was too active these days and barely let you sleep. Seungmin's voice was like a balm to your mind and soul. You couldn't help but relax more and more as you put your heas on his shoulder as he kept humming.
Jeongin couldn't help but smile as he layed a blanket on your sleeping form. He also couldn't help but give a glare to Seungmin who looked so smug. It was like he grew 10 times more he was so smug and proud that the little one was enjoying his voice so much. He even teased Innie that the baby might like him more than him. There were definitely more than one bickering sessions between your husband and Seungmin about this. There was simply no point to talk about ongoing stray kids wars who was going to be the little one's favourite uncle because Seungmin was an absolute menace about the favouritism your kid showed towards him. It was like everyone tried 10 times more to be the baby's favourite. It was a little bit too much, but hey, as long as the kid was peaceful.
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spookysteddie · 5 months
Text
That Friday Night
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Modern!Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Influencer!fem!reader
read part one here
18+ MINORSDNI
cw: alcohol, drugs (weed and cocaine), clubbing, slight Dom!Eddie if you squint, possessive!Eddie, swearing, pet names, oral (fem!receiving), light choking, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, edging, creampie. (let me know if I missed anything)
wc: 4.3k (I'm so sorry)
a/n: First of all, I want to thank every single person who liked, reblogged or made comments about part one. I was shitting myself posting it because (like I said) this is not an original thought. I'd read a few and it gave me this wave of inspiration. I am very proud of this part. It's also a little long (sorry sorry sorry I couldn't stop) . Also I don't think I'll be doing a tag list? When I used to do that no one on the list would like the fic and it was a lot of work. I hope that is okay? Let me know if you want more! I love and appreciate all of you!
...
You weren’t the type of person who got shy. Your entire job is being in front of a camera, telling people what you like, what you wear, the type of music you listen to. You did brand deals and went on lots of trips with people you didn’t know. Public interaction was easy for you and you definitely enjoyed it. 
But being personally invited to your favorite band's concert (even if you had tickets already) as their frontman's personal guest? It makes you weak in the knees. 
Telling your team about the phone call went about as good as one would expect. Anna and Case frown at you while continuing to say ‘you could’ve let it go to voicemail and we could’ve handled it directly with his people. AND why did you have him send the information directly to you?’
They weren't necessarily wrong in being upset. There were plenty of ways a conversation like that could be twisted and fucked with, especially if, for whatever reason, someone was recording the phone call. It was very easy for them to manipulate and edit that kind of shit, and drama was the last thing you wanted. 
However, the rest of the week went by without an issue. The gossip magazines had moved on to something else (though there were a few who continued to speculate about your non-relationship with Eddie. You did your deals, and kept yourself busy. And by the time Friday rolled around you were hardly nervous. 
Or that’s what you kept telling yourself. 
“Bell bottom star pants. Absolutely,” Hana says from her place on your bathroom counter, practically in the sink. “With that black leather top you love AND the red leather jacket. Oh! Oh! Oh! And the red boots!” 
You put the outfit on, looking in the mirror, “you don’t think it’s too… stereotypical?” 
Hana looks at you through the mirror, “no such thing. You look great.” 
Hana was one of the few people in your life who’d tell you like it is. You could trust her to tell you if her gut feelings were off, or on. She was your best friend and one of the few people who weren’t just here for the exposure. She’s here to be your cheerleader and you were hers. 
“Alright, let's get this going before I change my mind which I am two seconds away from doing.” 
… 
You should’ve changed your mind. 
You can hardly keep from throwing up as you're led by security to a private entrance. To get there you have to pass by their tour buses. All you can hear is loud music and whooping from inside. It’s clear they’re running around in there as the bus is rocking and all you can do is pray they don’t see you. 
You’re far too sober for the interaction you’ll be having at this current time. 
Unfortunately for you, the universe hates you. Just when you think you’re home free, the door opens, almost smacking you in the face. 
“Don’t think you can get away that easy, Asher,” Eddie says as he looks down at you. His pupils are blown wide, clearly from whatever drug he’s consumed. More than likely cocaine and weed. His words aren’t slurred so he isn’t drunk, though he does have a beer bottle in his large hands. 
God his hands, there have been many times where you’d imagine them wrapped around your throat, cutting off air as he fucks you like he hates you. You bet he could reach you even as he’s eating you out, he’s so tall and long. 
You wish you could say the grin you shoot at him is fake, however with the way he’s looking at you, like he wants to devour and smother you, it's not. You feel like a fucking school girl who has a crush. Your heart pounds so fast in your chest and you swear everyone around you can hear it. 
“We weren’t running away,” you say, voice a little breathier than you’d like. “Um this is my best friend-” 
“Hana, nice to meet you,” he cuts you off. It’s then that you see his eyes get wide and you know he’s been stalking your profile. Not that you can say anything because you’ve done it… a lot. “I, uh, saw the instagram story you put up earlier.” 
Hana smirks, “sure you did, big boy.” She pats his chest and is clearly much braver than you. That’s another thing about you and her, if one of you is feeling not confident, the other makes up for it. Like, on your own, asking for ketchup feels like cutting off a limb, but if she can't do it then it's up to you and vice versa. 
Eddie scratches the back of his neck, his black t-shirt stretching over his wide shoulder, “want to join us? We have alcohol!” 
“We would love that. Wouldn’t we?” Hana looks down at you with her brows raised, still taller than you in heels. 
You nod, “yes. Yeah absolutely! Are we allowed to photograph in here?” 
You know it’s a stupid thing to ask, but you also don’t want to take a photo of you and Hana and then not be able to post it. And what if you get photos with the rest of the band? Everyone already knows you’re going to be here. Just not… in this tour bus. 
Eddie nods, holding out his hand, “you are allowed to do whatever you want, pretty girl. And if anyone has an issue, send them my way, yeah?” He kisses the hand you’ve placed in his before leading you up the stairs of his bus. 
It's chaos in there, pure and utter chaos. You turn to look at Hana, silently telling her how insane this is. She nods slightly, but you see the grin on her face. Hana loves this stuff; the parties, the madness, all of it.
Eddie introduces you to the band, pulling you in closer by the waist. “You all need to be on your best behavior. No one touches her. Do you all understand me?” Your heart flutters at how serious he is and it instantly forces his bandmates eyes to fall to your feet. It’s impressive, actually. 
Suddenly, a bottle of beer is in your hands, passed to you by Eddie. “Oh… thank you.” You can hardly look at him as a small smile forms on your lips. His attention makes you feel all kinds of funny inside, your stomach doing flips. You know you have to look at him eventually, but he’s just so pretty that it actually hurts. 
“Um, so are you excited for your show?” This time you manage to actually drag your eyes to his. He smiles at you, his teeth so beautiful and perfect. It’s when he sits down that you realize that was a stupid question. Of course he’s excited. This is his actual job. 
He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looks up at you through his lashes, you could kiss him. But you don’t for obvious reasons. Reasons you can't really think of at the moment. Not when he’s looking at you like that.  The beer bottle hangs in his right hand between his legs. 
“Very. Not much comes close to the feeling I get when we’re on that stage.” He shakes his head, curly hair moving with him, “plus, being able to hear people sing my songs back to me is fucking incredible.” 
His hand finds yours, pulling you a little closer. Eddie is testing the waters, you know this. Unfortunately for you, your brain can’t see through the cloud of lust. So, you let him pull you closer, sit you on his lap, and wrap an arm around you. 
Your brain does catch up, quicker than expected. “It seems like it’d be incredible. I applaud you cause I could never do that. I have stage fright.” 
He blinks up at you, “stage fright? Haven’t you done red carpet interviews and stuff?” 
You shift a little, shrugging, “well yes. But that’s different.” You can't stop the awkward laugh that comes out of you. It was true, it was different. You weren’t exactly sure why but it was. 
Eddie's thumb moves along your side slightly and it leaves goosebumps in its wake. 
“I’m being honest, the lights are so bright that I can’t see everyone in the crowds. Mainly just the front rows. Makes it easier.” 
Eddie puts his beer bottle on the ground by his feet before sitting up and grabbing a joint. He’s quiet as he lights it, puffing out smoke to get it going. “Want some?” 
He holds the joint towards you, waiting for your answer. You’ve done this before at the frat houses at college. You’ve done it here and there in high school as well. This is second nature, but this time you’re nervous. What if you forget how to inhale? What if you throw up? Any number of things can happen. 
Something happens inside you and your brain finally catches up to itself. A small stroke of confidence happens and without taking your eyes off of him, you lean forward, wrapping your lips around the joint and inhaling. His eyes stay locked on yours, his tongue wetting his lips. You pull back, slowly blowing out the smoke. 
“Fuckin’ hell.” It comes out in a whisper and you know he didn’t mean to say it out loud. His eyes falling from your eyes, to your lips and back again. 
God you want to kiss him. His pillowy lips would feel amazing against yours, you just know it. You start to lean into him, desperate to know if you’re right.   
A bang on the door scares the fuck out of the both of you and Eddies boot knocks over his bottle. It’s a good thing he drank most of it, the contents not spilling on the plush carpet. 
“Let’s get going guys. Put your dicks back in your pants, we have a show to do.” You know that voice, that’s their manager. He’s the one who called your people to make sure you had all the rules for this evening. 
Photos are fine. 
Everyone must be tagged. 
Nothing negative. 
Absolutely no photos of any white substances. Even if it’s sugar. 
That last one would be hard considering it was on every flat surface in neat, clean lines. 
You go to stand up, but Eddie stops you, his hand tightening on your hip. “Promise I’ll see ya after?” 
You nod, “y-yeah of course.” 
Before you know it, his lips are on yours. The kiss is soft, sweet and you don’t want it to end. In fact, you totally forget about all the other people in the room. Your hands find his face, pulling him closer as his tongue begs for permission. And once you grant it, it’s game over. 
He tastes like beer and weed and cigarettes and you love it. You want more. You want to get closer. 
But it’s not long before the door to his trailer opens up, his manager stepping into the bus. “I said get your dicks and tongues together. We cannot be late.” 
… 
By the time the show is over you barely have a voice, and you’re sure you’ve never been more turned on in your life. It might seem silly to say, but Eddie's kiss lingered the entire show and all you want is more. 
Back stage the band is still running on adrenaline, drinking water for once to try and refuel for the rest of the night. The rest of the night being a club that they frequent. A club you don’t go to because of that exact reason. 
“Ohhhhh! There's the prettiest girls I’ve ever laid eyes on!” Eddie's voice booms as security goes to double check you and Hana. “Hey! Leave them alone. They’re with me.” 
Security stands back, hands raise like he knows it’ll cause more issues if he doesn’t. You almost feel bad for the poor guy, he was just trying to do his job. Like what if you had a bomb or something? 
“C’mon we gotta get outta here.” He laces his fingers with yours before he pulls you along with him. You look over your shoulder, catching Hana's eyes. 
Go! She mouths, hanging off Gareth's arm. I’ll meet you there! 
And so, you go. Are you nervous? Yes absolutely. Are you going to pretend you aren’t and have some confidence? Yes. Fake it till you make it right?
Eddie opens the door to the car, extending a hand, “ladies first.” 
You grin at him as you elegantly slide into the car, “wow. I didn’t know you were such a gentle man.” This time when you giggle, it's cute and self assured. 
“Yes, I have been told my entire life that I look,” he slides in sucking in a soft, thinking breath, “mean and scary.” 
“You look like a doberman but they’re precious babies.” You mean it too. He looks a little mean and scary, especially in the red lights of the stage. Not to mention the “devil music” (says the media) which can get a little dark. But that’s what makes it great, in your opinion. Plus, he does look like doberman. Like he could probably kill you but would actually not? 
“‘Precious babies?’” 
You nod, “mhm! I grew up with them. Very sweet and love kisses. Oh! And they each had their own comfort toys.” 
“Then maybe I am one because I do love kisses.” He’s closer now, his breath fanning over your face. He still smells like beer and cigarettes mixed in with the smell of his cologne. 
It’s your turn to close the gap and planting your lips on his. The kiss is hotter, more intense. One could argue it’s because of the alcohol swimming in your system that makes you so bold. You’re buzzed, but not drunk. It isn’t long before his hands are in your hair, tugging. It makes you moan in his mouth, opening up to him. 
He sits back, his hands in your hair pulling you with him, making you sit in his lap. Your legs rest on either side of his hips, your cunt nestled right against the bulge in his pants. He couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. You test the waters by rocking your hips, the friction being so sweet that you’re the one who lets out a moan. 
“God, that is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.” He kisses down your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes. “Should record it and use it in our next song.” 
You hum and grin, “I wouldn’t mind that. Always wanted to be in a song. Can’t sing though.”  
He nips at your ear, “that’s my job baby.” 
Eddie's large hand grips your hips, stopping your movements. You want to whine, you want to protest. You were so fucking close. 
“We’ll save that for when we're back at my place.” 
You grin and kiss along his jaw, “who says I’m going back to your place?” 
“The way you were just grindin’ against my cock, angel.” He grins, “also with how you’re lookin’ at me.” 
“And how am I looking at you? Hmm?” 
“Like you want me to fuck you while your brain leaks out your cunt.” 
You shudder at the crudeness of his words. No one has ever spoken to you like that and looked like him. The car stopping in front of the club saves you from trying to come up with an answer. One you know will either be embarrassing or non-existent. 
He looks over at the paparazzi that is waiting and sighs, “are we going in together or…” 
The decision you make is quick. If you’re going to do this, even for one night, you’re going to do it together and let them talk. You give him a quick kiss, “together. Give ‘em something to talk about, yeah?” 
So, you do. 
The second you’re out of the car, cameras flash and photographers call out a mix of your name and his and you can hardly understand what they’re saying. You don’t stop to pose, letting them only photograph you and him walking hand and hand. Give them crumbs as your manager says. Once you’re in the club, not even needing to show an ID or give a name. 
From there the night happens in a blur. The band has the VIP section where bottles of expensive liquor are brought over by women dressed in a bikini. You know how much all of this costs (more than you can afford that’s for sure) but you also know that all of this is on Eddie and the bands tab. He’s told you six times. 
So you drink. And you smoke. And you watch pretty white lines disappear, most of which disappear up Eddie's nose. Of course you take videos, vlogging your night and making sure to follow all the rules that were set prior to this meeting. Taking photos to remember the night. Hana is having a blast, taking shots like it’s her job and making out with Gareth in between. Of course she takes photos with you, sitting in your lap and giggling so much the photos come out blurry. But those are your favorite kinds of photos. 
“Dance with me?” Eddie says in your ear over the music. 
You take the shot that is in your hands, “lead the way.” 
The second you’re surrounded by sweaty bodies you feel invisible. You’re sure someone has cameras on you and him but at the moment you don’t care. 
Your hips move to the music, back against Eddie's chest while his hands explore your body. His lips move against your neck, sucking a dark mark into it that you know you’ll struggle to cover later. Again, you don’t care. What you do care about is the hardness that you feel against your back. 
You spin around, grinning up at him. God he’s so fucking tall you have to tilt your head up a good bit to look at him. 
“We should get out of here,” you say as he pulls you into him. 
He smirks, “thought you weren’t coming back to my place sweetheart.” 
“Seems I told a fib. Now, I need you to take me home and fuck me like you hate me.” 
It’s all he needs before he’s grabbing you by the hand and pulling you out of the club. The car is there and he quickly pulls you into the back seat. Once those doors are closed, the window tint so dark you couldn’t see inside if you tried, his mouth his on yours. Your stomach flips and the neediness you feel coming off of him. He pulls you till you’re straddling him, legs on either side of his hips. Not really the safest but at this point, all you need is his lips on you. 
The ride to Eddie’s consists of lots of kissing, so much so that you know your lips are swollen. You don’t get to see much of Eddie’s house, too focused on getting inside the house and into his bedroom. He drags you up the stairs, your hand is his. And once you’re in his room, he has you pressed up against his bedroom door. 
“You’re so fucking hot, baby.” Eddie pushes your jacket off your shoulders while he speaks, his words going straight to your clit. Your mind can barely comprehend that Eddie Munson, the man you’ve had a crush on since they were considered an ‘underground band,’ is currently taking off your clothes. 
You do the same to him, pushing his leather jacket to the ground before tugging at the ends of his shirt and pulling it over his head. “Me? You are so beautiful.” 
He hums, popping the button on your jeans, “should we take a poll on who's prettier? Winner takes the loser on a date?” 
That makes you laugh, “sounds like a deal. But first, you need to fuck me.” 
His eyes nearly go black at that and before you can think, he’s throwing you on this bed. You land with a small oomph. You decide to take a little initiative, pulling off your boots, scooting off your pants and pulling off your top. 
Eddie watches, rapt and almost possessed, his eyes scanning your partially naked body. It’s not anything more than someone would see if you posted in a bathing suit, but you can’t help but feel nervous that he isn’t going to like you. 
He quickly puts those fears (fears he knows nothing about) to rest as he settles between your legs. His eyes don’t leave yours as he kisses up your thighs. You know there is a wet patch on your underwear and you know he can see it. You do feel embarrassed about it, but at the same time, Eddie is slightly rutting against the bed so he must like it. Right? 
You can feel your body heat as he gets closer and closer to your center. 
“Eddie, please don’t tease me.” Never have you begged a man. Typically whoever you were in bed with did the begging, much to your dislike. You were desperate for someone to take charge. Now you know why they didn’t. One bruise and they get shit from all your followers. Even if you tell them to leave these men alone. 
But Eddie? He wasn’t afraid. 
“But it’s so much fun to watch you squirm.” 
You huff, squirming exactly like he said as he sits up to pull your underwear down your legs before setting back between them. “Need you to touch me.” 
He licks a stripe up your slit, sucking on your clit as he gets to the top. The sound that falls from your lips is beautiful, sweeter than the sound you made in the car. Now Eddie really wants to put you in a song, but the jealous, primal side of him never wants someone else to be able to hear your moans. 
In fact, he doesn’t want to think about any of the other men who’ve heard you make these sounds. Murder wasn't really on his list of things he enjoyed. Bar fights? Yes. Murder? No. 
“You make the prettiest sounds, sweetheart. S’very hot.”  He slides two fingers inside you with little resistance, curling them up to hit the spongy spot inside you. The stretch feels good, your hips moving on their own, riding Eddie's fingers. 
You're close, the build up of this moment really getting closer than you originally thought. “Squeezin’ my fingers so tight, baby. Are you close?” 
You nod, afraid if you speak you’ll say something ridiculous. 
But that isn’t good enough for Eddie. “Words.” 
“V-very.” 
That was clearly the wrong thing to say because he pulls his fingers from inside you, the emptiness making you gasp, “no! No, no, no I was so close!” 
He laughs as he pushes his pants and boxers off his body. “Exactly. Want you to cum with my cock inside you.” 
You look down between your bodies and your eyes widen. He was big and you accidentally voice what you’re thinking, “fuck… not gonna fit.” 
His laugh drags your eyes back to him, his cock moving through your slick and bumping your clit. “Baby you are so wet that I have no doubt it’ll fit.”  
You don’t have time to be embarrassed about it because Eddie is pushing inside you. The size of him stretching you makes you feel like he’s going to split you in half. But you don’t care, the burn just turns you on more and more and before you know it he’s seated inside you fully. 
“Fuck, Eddie.” 
Eddie is panting, trying to keep still so he doesn’t cum before he wants to. “Feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart. A man could become obsessed with this pussy.” 
He moves right as you begin to speak, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs. He feels like he’s everywhere. “W-witchcraft” 
He fucks you harder, his cock hitting your cervix. You’re definitely going to have a bruise there but it's so worth it. 
“Didn’t know you were into dark shit. S’my schtick.” 
You wrap your legs around him, orgasm building again, “more alike than you originally thought huh?” 
He wraps a tattooed hand around your throat, squeezing gently and making your head spin, “oh, angel, I knew how alike we were the second you told everyone how bad you wanted to fuck me.” 
“C-can you blame me? Knew you’d fuck me just h-how I like.” 
You clench around him making him hiss, “yeah you need someone who will take control huh?” 
The hand around your neck slides down your body till he finds your clit, circling it. 
“Oh god! Please.” 
“I can get used to you prayin’ to me.” His thrusts are losing rhythm (something he’s usually very good at keeping) and you know he’s close. “Cum baby. I need it.” 
And it’s all you need to fall over the cliff and into bliss. He follows you, coming inside you while you squeeze around him. You both moan each other's names and you sigh as you come down. 
Eddie breaks the silence first, “that was… amazing.” 
You hum in agreement as he slides out of you and curls up beside you. You take a moment before getting up and cleaning up in the bathroom. When you come back Eddie has left out an old Corroded Coffin t-shirt and some boxers. And once they’re on, you slide back into his bed, laying your head on his chest.
“We should put that poll up, huh? I’m itching to win this bet.” Eddie laughs as he says it and before you know it, you two are finding a photo the both of you like and posting it on your story with the caption, ‘which one is prettier? Honesty is the best policy.’ 
“And now… we wait.”
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kairiscorner · 9 months
Note
OKOK BUT
Jealous!Miguel stealing your attention only because you told Ben Reilly he has nice muscles 😭
You know that dude, when he's jealous, makes it clear that you only belong to his *wink wink*
AGHHHHHHH i live for jealous miggy for real
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
yeah, i'm... just a jealous guy, so what? — jealous!miguel o'hara x reader
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miguel was at his wit's end, hearing you giggle as the blonde, buff-oon of a spider man was entertaining you with his muscles, that miguel was very certain that he had beat in every aspect possible. he didn't mean to brag–he honestly wouldn't care in a normal setting–but objectively speaking, his muscles and figure was far more superior than that of ben reilly's.
he respected ben, both as a spider man and a person, though he couldn't bear the thought of you–one of his only real friends and someone with a decent, functioning brain in the entire spider society–entertaining the blonde boy by giggling along, praising him, and running your fingers and hands over his biceps and muscles. ben dared not to show his true, flustered self as he kept 'accidentally' flexing at you, making you chuckle even more–annoying miguel even more, because... he should be the one making you all embarrassed, flustered, and giggly with his own much thicker biceps and muscles.
"it's just... so stupid." he muttered to himself as lyla chuckled. "gonna challenge ben to a flex off?" she sarcastically asked miguel, who–for a hot minute–ironically considered the notion, but ultimately decided against it with the shake of his head. "no, no need. i'll get over it." he said as a low grumble, which lyla raised her eyebrow at. "oh, will you, now?" she asked him with a hint of mockery, which made miguel snarl a little and sigh loudly. "you'll see." he declared with some spite in his tone.
he did not move on from it, not one bit actually.
it was driving miguel insane, because every moment he caught you that day to catch up and talk, he always caught you with ben–watching him entertain you yet again with him 'coincidentally' stretching and flexing those muscles he was so proud of but always played them off coolly when you happened to come by and... stare at him showing off.
this was it, this was the final straw–he had to prove to you once and for all just who you fold to, who makes you so flustered with a simple gaze your way with those piercing hazel (sometimes red) eyes of his–who made you want to have more and more of him and wouldn't be ashamed to get on your knees, or on all fours if he commanded you to, and beg for him to love you all evening into the early hours of the dawn. he had to show you who loved you, and who you loved endlessly.
when you entered miguel's office to report back to him on the statuses of some anomalies he needed word back on immediately. though when you entered the room, the atmosphere felt... entirely different now. you searched for miguel here and there since he wasn't there up on his platform, nor was he anywhere where the small pools of light touched the walls and floors of his office–he wasn't there, at least, not in front of you yet.
"you called, querida?" he asked you as he placed his larger palms on your smaller shoulders, feeling up your flesh gently and letting out low breaths as he got closet to you. your back felt his chiseled abdomen pressing against you, his pectoral muscles being pushed against your shoulders. you shuddered and felt your face get a little heated. you tried turning around to tell miguel you had the reports he was asking for, but it was a little hard to do with him pressing against you like this.
you finally turned around and pulled away from his grasp, but when you did... you were taken aback by the sight. he was completely shirtless, showing off his sculpted upper body, the curves and bulging of his arm muscles and built abdomen, and the only thing he was wearing was a flimsy pair of boxers that... looked a little thin from where you were standing. you gulped at the lump in your throat and tried to ignore the heat in the walls of your throat as you faced him with an embarrassed expression. you hurriedly handed him the report and tried to get away from him, but he blocked you in your tracks and looked down at you with darkening eyes.
"what's the rush, cariño? run me through these... one-by-one." he asked of you, which sounded more like a demand for you to stay, really, as he moved closer to you while you backed away–backing yourself up against a desk and being pinned against the wall by miguel as he loomed over you and stared you down.
"again, cariño... what's wrong? you gotta run me through these all... now tell me, what's the status on these anomalies?" he asked you as he gently ran his hand over your arm and raised an eyebrow again and involuntarily flexed his arm muscles by pinning his arm against the wall you were nearly backed into if not for the desk in between you two.
"y'better start talking, bella, or else... i might just make you talk myself." he said with a lower, sultry voice as he brought his face even closer to yours, your noses brushing together, and him hearing you whimper a little as he took your smaller hand in his own, bringing it to his abs. "what, cat got your tongue? that's not the little sweetheart i know... c'mon, say something." he encouraged you as you whimpered again and finally mustered the words to utter to him. "...you're... kinda big..." "kinda?" "v-very big..." you blurted out, all flustered as miguel leaned in closer, smiling, about to plant a kiss on your luscious lips. "how sweet..." he muttered as he kissed your lips gently, buttering you up before he shows you how much he's craved your attention before making you desperate for his attention soon enough.
you're in for the long haul this time... before the night ends, all your love and attention will all be on him, and only him–nobody else, just him and his body–and how his face contorts into a wide grin when he sees you stammer, eyes wide, and fluster over how much of a grip he has on you with those muscles he's got. maybe you'll spend the rest of the day with miguel tomorrow, hmm? ben and everyone else can wait... but miguel certainly can't.
tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce
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wwinterwitch · 2 years
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SEX, DRUGS, ETC - s.h., e.m.
summary: just steve, eddie and reader having a threesome after smoking together. that's it (part two HERE)
relationship: steve harrington x eddie munson x fem!reader
word count: 5,514
warnings/what to expect: SMUT 18+ (MINORS DNI), this is the filthiest thing i've written and i'm proud, poly dynamics, weed, flirting, threesome, dirty talk, sex while high, i guess you can say eddie is kind of a dom?, and maybe steve is slightly a sub and the reader is low-key a switcher?, thigh-riding, masturbation (m receiving), face sitting, oral (m receiving), multiple orgasms, steve has a praise kink, mentions of spitting(?), p in v sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!!), visiting paris, kinda fluffly at the end idk, i wrote this while high so sorry about any grammar mistake lmao
a reblog and/or comment is always appreciated!
**gif is not mine!! if you know who it belongs to please let me know to credit them
masterlist | AO3 | buy me a coffee
"So how does this work exactly?"
Both you and Eddie chuckled at Steve's question, which immediately made him feel like a complete idiot, frowning slightly as he mentally cursed himself for such a stupid question. In his defense, he really had no idea what he was doing, like...at all.
"Well, you put this in between your lips and when I light it, you inhale as deep as you can, hold it for a sec, and then exhale," Eddie explained. "It's okay if your throat burns a little. It means you're doing it correctly."
"And you always hang out here to smoke?" he asked the two of you just to change the conversation, wanting to avoid even thinking about his previous question.
You and Eddie exchanged a look before you replied, "Mostly."
Steve didn't really understand what that meant but didn't ask any further about it, watching as you leaned to take the joint from Eddie's hand to begin smoking it.
"She only uses me to get free weed," Eddie jokes, earning a playful smack on his arm from you. He smiles, happy to have the response he was expecting. "For a moment I thought she actually liked me."
"Shut up," you laughed it off before taking the first smoke.
Both guys just stared at you as you took a long inhale, taking the joint away from your lips only to let the smoke out a few seconds later. Steve couldn't deny that at this very moment, you looked incredibly hot. There was something about the way you smoked that just made his breath catch in his throat.
In his eyes, you are without a doubt the most attractive girl in Hawkins, and he was surprised when he found out you were so close to Eddie Munson, the freak everyone thought had no friends. How he managed to get you to be inside his trailer every week to smoke with him was beyond Steve's comprehension.
So, as hopelessly romantic as he claims to be, he was willing to join you and Eddie today as an excuse to hang out with you.
He watched as you passed the joint to Eddie and just when he thought it was Eddie's turn to smoke, the long-haired guy turned to look at him with a smirk. "Wanna give it a try, Harrington?" he teased.
Steve wasn't so sure. He has smoked maybe once or twice in his life but he never understood what was so great about it. Maybe that's because he didn't get high when he tried it. Either way, he was thinking his next move very carefully because he didn't want to make a bad impression with you. What if he chokes? What if he gets so high that you and Eddie have to drive him back home? It'll be humiliating.
But despite that, he decided to agree. Eddie looked beyond excited, turning all his attention to Steve now. 
The three of you were chilling in Eddie's room, you and him sitting on his bed and Steve sitting by Eddie's desk. He stood up from the bed and walked towards Steve, kneeling down to be at his height. You couldn't help but stare at the two of them as Eddie put the joint in between Steve's lips, never breaking eye contact.
From where you were sitting, it was evident Steve was surprised by the way Eddie would lean close– too close to him, but he doesn't look like he's going to complain about it any time soon. That seemed to encourage Eddie, resting one of his hands on Steve's thigh and using the other to light the joint.
Steve did as Eddie instructed, the smoke making his throat burn before he quickly put the joint out of his mouth, couching uncontrollably as he let out all the smoke. Humiliating. But he felt reassured when Eddie begins running his hand up and down his thigh in a comforting manner, something Steve wasn't expecting to enjoy so much.
He's in Eddie's trailer for you, sure, but he'd be lying if he acts like being here is such a sacrifice. Eddie Munson could be lots of things. A freak, a nerd, a metalhead with no friends, a weirdo who sell drugs and failed senior year twice. But he's also insanely good looking. Steve can't deny he's rather pretty, especially when he's looking up at him with a half-smile and his hand keeps going up and down his thigh.
"You okay?" Eddie asks, earning a nod from Steve. "You did good, Harrington."
He did good. Shit, what is happening? Why is that compliment suddenly so ground breaking? And why does he already misses Eddie's touch when the guy stood up to walk back to the bed?
You noticed the way Steve looked at Eddie as he walked away, and you could tell exactly what was going on. The way Steve looked at Eddie up and down while he shifts uncomfortably in his chair, perhaps struggling with the sensation still present in his leg where Eddie's hand used to be...it was evident. You've been in his place far too many times not to realize he's as flustered as you've been in the past.
You lost count of the times you'd find yourself sitting in that very same chair, Eddie doing exactly the same thing he just did to Steve. The silent testing. A grip of the shoulder, a gentle touch of the leg, any seemingly innocent gesture that would help him read someone else's body language. Eddie just knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew he got from Steve a very similar reaction he always managed to get from you.
Though Steve was much more evident, and being the one witnessing rather that being subjected to it, you could see what Eddie sees. Perhaps not even Steve realized the effects Eddie had on him. Maybe that's why he wasn't trying to hide in the slightest how flustered he was.
Smirking his way, you patted the empty side on the bed next to you. "Why don't you join us, Steve?"
The invitation seemed innocent, or at least Steve wanted to think that. However, he couldn't shake the idea that you were quite literally inviting him to join you and Eddie on the bed. His thoughts were drifting to a much more darker context, and he tried very hard to act casual as he walked towards you.
That made you realize you also had an effect on him. Not just Eddie.
Lucky for him (or maybe not so much) nothing else happened as the three of you continued to smoke. At some point Eddie turned his record player on, Metallica echoing across every inch of the trailer. Steve was evidently the first one who got high, taking you and Eddie a few more inhales before you joined Steve.
"This feels great," Steve muttered, completely lost in his thoughts. He was laying on the bed now, looking up at the ceiling. A giggle escaped his lips, "I feel great!"
Eddie, still sitting, turned to look at him. "I can't believe I'm smoking weed with the Steve Harrington."
"What does that mean?" he asks, still all giggly.
"Oh, c'mon!" you exclaimed like it was obvious. "The coolest, most attractive, unreachable guy in Hawkins," you added sarcastically, repeating what everyone your age would say about Steve. Not like you thought those statements were false, tho. "We're not the type of people you'd expect Steve Harrington to hang out with."
"Well, then you don't know Steve Harrington at all," he replied, returning to a sitting position. "You forget one of my best friends is literally a fourteen year-old."
Eddie couldn't help but laugh at what he said. "I was very wrong about you," he commented.
Steve, feeling bolder now that he was super high, leaned closer to you and therefore closer to Eddie. "And I was very wrong about you."
"Really? And what do you think of me now, Harrington?" Eddie replied, also leaning closer.
You laughed at their clearly flirtatious exchange, standing up from your seat in between them. "Maybe I should give you two more space."
"No. Why? We're all having fun here," Steve protested.
"Yeah, we can all have fun," Eddie agreed, failing to hide the way he was looking at you up and down.
You stood in front of the two guys as they were staring back at you and the image was just...great. The look of need in his eyes, silently begging you to sit back down with them. Oh, this was getting interesting. So interesting, that you couldn't miss your chance to say, "And what are you willing to do for me if I sit back down with you?"
Steve didn't think twice before replying, "Whatever you want us to do."
A smirk formed on your face almost immediately. "Well in that case...I want you to kiss."
Both of them stared at you as if waiting for you to reveal you were joking. When they finally realized you were serious, they exchanged a look before looking back at you.
"What?" Steve asks, visibly nervous.
"You said you'd do whatever I want, and I really want to see you two kiss."
Eddie wasn't complaining at all, so it was only Steve the one that needed more convincing. He looked at you again, trying to figure out if you were joking or not until he came to the realization that you were very serious about this.
To your amusement, Steve turned to look at Eddie and just sat there...as if he was waiting for him to make the first move. Eddie seemed to understand relatively quick, one of his hands moving up to Steve's face, a finger gently tracing his jawline. Steve didn't seem to need any more convincing after that, leaning closer to Eddie until their lips met. As soon as the kiss begin, you could see Steve relax into it, moving his body a little bit closer to Eddie's. Since his hand was still holding Steve's face, Eddie used his thumb to gently pull his chin down, making Steve slightly part his mouth. It was the perfect opportunity for Eddie to put his tongue inside his mouth, turning what was a fairly calmed kiss into a much heated make out session.
Steve let out a barely audible groan at the action, gladly accepting the kiss. Eddie seemed to get encouraged by that reaction, gently pushing Steve so he could be laying on the bed, giving him the perfect opportunity to lay on top of him, legs at each side of Steve's body, straddling him.
The scene in front of you was just perfect. You practically had to close your legs shut to avoid moving on your spot, trying to get even the tiniest bit of friction to release some of your frustration. You continued to watch them intensely make out until Eddie moved back from Steve to look at you. The guy still laying on the bed looked up at Eddie almost mesmerized before looking your way. "Do you wanna join us, baby?" Eddie asks. 
"Yes, please," you replied, completely desperate to calm your needs right now.
Eddie grinned, turning to look at Steve now. "What do you think, Harrington? Should we let her join?"
"Uh...y-yeah," Steve quickly agreed.
Both of them got back into a sitting position before Eddie stood up from the bed to grab your hand and gently guide you towards them. When you two reached the edge of the bed, he sat down and opened his legs so you could sit on top of one of them, his arms wrapping around you to keep you in place.
Before he did anything else, he tells Steve, "Your turn to pick the next move."
"What do you mean?" he asks, visibly intrigued to see where this was going.
"You get to choose what we do next."
You and Eddie waited for Steve to give you any sort of instructions, an idea Steve went absolutely crazy about. He couldn't believe the position he was in right now. In a good way, obviously. He was here just to get an excuse to hang out with you and now he's about to have a threesome with you and Eddie Munson. It really couldn't get any better than that.
"I'd love to see her cum on your leg," he confessed, his mouth almost watering at the mere idea of it.
"Shit, Harrington," Eddie hisses, smirking. "I like your thinking."
"You want me to move fast or slow?" you asked.
Steve gulped. "Uh...slow."
You smiled innocently in Steve's direction, putting your hands on Eddie's shoulders as you began to slowly move your hips back and forth. "Like this?"
"Uh-huh," was all he was able to say, almost hypnotized by the sight.
Eddie's hands moved to the side of your hips to pull you impossibly close to his leg, fully rubbing against him. "What do you want to see next?"
This has got to be the best thing that has ever happened in Steve's life. No. It's not an exaggeration.
"Take her clothes off."
Eddie's smile widened, biting his lip when you rocked your hips at a faster speed, eager to have his hands all over you. The fact that you were still very much high made you feel everything just a hundred times more intensely. He took your jacket off before removing your t-shirt, leaving you only with your bra, skirt and panties. His mouth begin attacking your neck, too desperate to get more of you to wait for Steve's further instructions. As he kissed and bite your skin, a hand gently massaged one of your tits.
You turned to look at Steve, "You like watching us, huh?" you teased, eyeing the bulge in his pants. Steve looked back at you, embarrassed. An answer from his part wasn't necessary. "Would you like me to help with that?"
Steve nodded almost immediately after your question, allowing you to palm him over his pants, making him let out a sound that let you know he was surprise but very much aroused by your action. Eddie smirked against your neck, realizing what you were doing.
"Take your pants off, Harrington," Eddie mutters against your neck, as if it was the obvious thing to do.
Steve was still blushing a dark shade of red, but regardless of his embarrassment he stood up and unbuckled his belt, both his jeans and boxers gone. Your mouth almost watered at the sight, not expecting him to be this big. 
One of your hands wrapped around his fully erect cock and he lets out a loud groan at the sensation of your soft hand moving up and down so perfectly. Eddie noticed you were getting distracted with jerking Steve off, moving his hands to his ass so it was him the one making you grind against his leg.
Eddie showed you no mercy whatsoever, the slower pace you carried just seconds ago immediately went faster and faster. Your available hand tangled in his hair as you hold him close, trying to keep your balance. He only stopped to remove your bra before his hands returned to your hips.
He would leave tiny kisses all around your tits before putting them inside his mouth, taking his time with each of them. He'd make sure to tease you with his tongue, circling it around your sensitive nipples.
As seconds passed, your orgasm began building at the very pit of your stomach, making your hand around Steve's cock become sloppy and the rhythm you had got lost, masturbating him at any pace your brain could manage to instruct you, so close to cum on top of Eddie's leg to care about anything else.
You moved back to find Eddie's lips, smashing your lips against him as you were so incredibly close to your orgasm, your moans muffled against his mouth as he continued to make you grind against him at a painfully fast pace. You felt a kiss on your bare shoulder, "Cum for us, baby," Steve mutters, sounding more like a plead than an order.
That seemed to be what completely threw you over the age, pulling away from Eddie's kiss to let out your loudest moan yet, reaching your orgasm. Steve continued to leave tiny kisses all around your shoulder blade while Eddie let go of your ass, allowing you to move at your own speed as you climb down from the high of it all.
"You're fucking amazing, you know that?" Eddie says to you once you're a lot calmer. "Can't wait to bent you over and fuck you with my cock. Would you like that, princess?" All you could do was nod before Eddie helped you stand up. "Look at the mess you made," he commented, staring down at the stain on his jeans.
"It's your turn to decide what we do now," Steve said towards him, earning an ear-to-ear smile from Eddie as he quickly began taking his vest and jacket off.
"Oh, I know exactly what we can do next," he says excitedly. "How about you sit on that pretty face of his while I suck him off?"
The image on your head alone was enough to turn you even more– if that was even possible at this point. You watched as Eddie stood in between Steve's legs, who was still sitting on the bed, helping him take his long-sleeved yellow shirt off, throwing it to the ground. After that, he gently pushed him back to the bed so he would be with his back against the mattress, but his legs still hanging on the side of the bed.
Steve laid there absolutely mesmerized by everything that was happening around him. You taking off your panties and your skirt while Eddie kneeled in between his legs. "Look my way when you sit," Eddie instructed you, sending a smile your way.
Again, Steve had no idea how he got so lucky.
Both of your knees pressed against the mattress before gently lowering closer to Steve's face. The gentleness of the gesture only lasted a few seconds because he quickly grabbed your hips and practically buried his face in between your legs, almost making you scream at the sudden sensation of his wet tongue quite literally devouring you. Eddie still wasn't doing anything, simply watching your face as Steve did his job. 
"You like what he's doing to you, sweetheart?" he asked. "Do you like having Steve's tongue all over your pussy?"
"Y-yes," you were able to reply.
Steve was just too good at this, not like you were expecting any different. He was an absolute expert with his tongue, knowing exactly what to do and when to do it. This has got to be the best oral sex you've ever had.
He would lick up and down your slick, making sure to take his extra seconds pleasing your clit, twirling his tongue all around it at just the right speed and sucking on it so incredibly good you couldn't hold all the moans escaping your lips. And then he would go back down, focusing on licking your hole. At one point, he stuck his tongue out and began fucking you with it.
"Fuck, keep doing that! Keep doing that!" you mumble over and over, your own hips moving with him. "You're so good at this, baby. You're doing amazing...oh shit, you're making me feel amazing."
Steve was definitely a sucker for praise, quickly pulling you back down again to resume his attack on your clit, this time licking and sucking twice as intensely as before, making your moans increase in volume.
And as if Steve eating you out so incredibly good wasn't enough, you had a whole show in front of you. Eddie was kneeling in between Steve's legs, ringed fingers holding him by the base of his dick while he sucked him off. And he was taunting you, looking directly your way with doe eyes as he slowly licked him from the base to the tip, as if he didn't know what a scene like that would make you feel.
With the sensation of your pussy getting absolutely devoured and the image of Eddie's nose rubbing against Steve's happy trail because he has his entire dick inside his mouth quickly got you to your second orgasm. Steve made sure to keep you in place so you wouldn't colapse on top of him, slowing his pace as he tastes your orgasm, your whole body involuntarily spasming every time his tongue would touch you, too sensitive and stimulated not to.
"Holy shit," you muttered, trying to catch your breath. As soon as your body recovered from the orgasm, you climbed down from Steve and laid next to him. His hair was a complete mess and his lips were covered in your juices, some coating his chin and all around his jaw too. He looked beautiful.
You waisted no time to lean over to capture his lips in a kiss, tasting yourself in his tongue. One of your hands traveled from his lower belly all the way up to his neck, holding him in place as you two made out.
Steve's groans were almost entirely muffled by your lips as Eddie continued to suck him off. At one point you pulled away just enough to look at him, your faces just inches away. He wanted to continue the kiss, but your hand on his neck kept him from getting closer to you.
"You were so fucking good to me," you muttered, watching Steve whine as your grip of his neck tighten. "Could spend hours riding that gorgeous face of yours."
"I– fuck..." he sighs, back slightly arching as he pressed his head even harder on the mattress. "Can I– shit, is it okay if I cum in your mouth?" he asks, looking down at Eddie who continued to mercilessly suck him off.
Eddie didn't reply, continuing to bop his head up and down at the speed he has been carrying so far. That seemed to be enough answer.
"You want to cum, Steve?" you asked, watching him nod eagerly.
"Yes, please...please, I can't..."
You noticed his desperation and growing need as his orgasm approached. And he looked so hot like this, practically pleading with you to cum. He wanted you to allow him that. You leaned back down to give him a quick peck on the lips before smiling. "You can't cum just yet, baby. Can you hold it back for me?"
"I...I don't..." he manages to let out, a complete mess underneath your grip. "Can try..."
"It'll be worth it, I promise," you reassured him, giving him one last kiss before moving away from him entirely.
Eddie, intrigued by what you had in mind, stopped what he was doing to look at you. You crawled to the edge of the bed where he was kneeling, quickly grabbing his Hellfire Club t-shirt to take it off. Your hands would trail from his shoulders all the way down his chest and abdomen before your fingers found his black belt.
Eager for you to remove the remaining clothing, he stood up, looking down at you as he licked his lips in anticipation of your movements. You easily unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants, removing both his jeans and boxers at the same time.
You looked up at him with innocent eyes and it took everything he had to hold back the urge to grab your hair and force his dick down your throat. While this exchange was happening, Steve watched the two of you while he gently traced patterns all across your naked back.
Eddie's dick was already impossibly hard and throbbing, the tip leaking with pre cum. He has been so neglected during this entire time, choosing to please you and Steve before pleasing himself. You had to do something about that.
Your thumb rubbed against his tip incredibly slow, too slow for his liking. A low grunt escaped his lips as he leaned his head back. He looked back down just in time to see you stretch your arm back towards Steve, who quickly grabbed your wrist to suck on your cum-coated thumb.
"You two will be the death of me," Eddie mutters, visibly frustrated, earning a chuckle from you and Steve.
You turned back to look at Eddie, your face once again just inches from his dick but still not touching him, which was driving him insane. He knows you're teasing him.
"I want to take both of you," you say as if it was nothing. As if that wouldn't make the two guys you were with almost lose their minds.
Eddie couldn't hold himself back any longer, pushing you back to the bed to lay on top of you, his lips instantly crashing against yours. His hips would involuntarily rock, his dick rubbing against your lower belly as you continued to kiss. He hold you so close to his body, he was practically jerking himself off in between your bodies.
He only moved back so his hand would guide his dick to your entrance, not penetrating you, just rubbing his tip against you. The sensation made you pull away from the kiss, moaning against his shoulder as you waited for him to fuck you.
But since you teased him before, he wanted his revenge. That meant he didn't move to enter you fully, simply using the tip of his cock to stimulate you.
"Eddie, please..." you whimper, too desperate to think of anything else. You tried to wrap your legs around him as an attempt to force him inside of you, but he grabbed one of your legs to roughly pull it aside, the movement making you spread wider.
"You want us to fuck you, baby?" he asked, ignoring your pleas. His tip continued to rub against you as he looked at you whimper. "Want me to take you from behind while Steve fucks your mouth?"
"Please, please..." you repeated, getting extremely frustrated from not getting what you wanted.
Steve was absolutely amazed by what he was witnessing. The fact that you used to be on top of him, your hand tightly gripping his neck, feeling so confident about yourself, yet now your nothing but a mess of moans underneath Eddie. So vulnerable, completely at their mercy. They could do whatever he wanted and you'd comply because you were just so desperate for them to give you something– anything.
"What do you think, Harrington?" he turned to look at Steve now. "Should we give this needy slut what she wants?"
"She's been good, I think she deserves it," Steve replied, much to your relief.
You practically gasped when Eddie flip you over, making you lay and your knees and hands. Eddie positioned himself behind you while Steve moved to be in front of you.
"Help me out here, would you?" Eddie quickly asks to Steve, extending his open palm for him. Steve seemed to understand almost immediately, spitting on his hand so he could use that to stroke himself before he would enter you.
You were dying for them to do something. While Eddie stoke himself, Steve gathered all your hair in an effort to take as much of it out of your face.
It was Steve the first one to show you mercy, pulling closer to you so his dick would be right in front of your face. You licked a single strap across his length before putting him inside your mouth.
"You're so pretty," he would compliment you, making you increase your speed just enough as he enjoyed your mouth on him.
You bop your head at a comfortable speed before you pulled away. "Please, fuck me. I don't care, just...just fuck my mouth," you said.
"Are you sure?" he asked, not really wanting to hurt you if he was too rough.
"Yes! Fuck my mouth as hard as you want," you replied eagerly, wanting both of them to absolutely wreck you.
Steve didn't seem so sure at first but begin moving his hips to go in and out your mouth. He let out a louder grunt when he felt you moan against him, the sound erupting from you when you felt Eddie entering you from behind.
Both guys were beginning to fuck you, Eddie showing you absolutely no mercy as he rocked in and out of you like his life depended on it. He would bury himself deep inside you before quickly moving back, only to repeat that process over and over at a fast pace. You could feel him stretching you out so good and feeling you up so exquisitely, you knew you wouldn't last long.
Meanwhile, Steve fucked your mouth at a slower pace that Eddie, but said pace was by no means a slow one. He would go deep down your throat as you tried your very best not to gag around him. The tip of your nose occasionally meeting with his lower belly because he was just that deep inside you. The moans you would let out made it just ten times better for him.
Your body was on full ecstasy at the sensation of both guys filling you up and getting off thanks to you. Using you however they wanted to please themselves and, of course, to please you.
It was definitely quite the show the three of you were making. You in the centre of the bed in all fours, one of them fucking your pussy while the other fucks your mouth. All at the same time.
It was a matter of time before Eddie hit a spot inside you that made your eyes roll to the back of your head, wanting him to do it again. And he did just that– again, and again, and again. And all you could do is moan against Steve's cock as you lost yourself in pleasure. One of Eddie's hands found its way to your clit, one of fingers beginning to rub circles on top of it at a painfully fast rhythm.
The sight in front of Steve made him almost subconsciously speed up his pace, entirely focused on the way Eddie was fucking you. A few tears began rolling down your cheeks due to the intensity of it all.
You couldn't take it anymore. You wish you could, but the way they were fucking you was just too good to handle, and you could feel your third orgasm rapidly approaching. You couldn’t say anything, you couldn't let them know what was going on, you couldn't scream their name over and over as you cum, because your mouth was completely full with Steve's cock.
But Eddie seemed to know you were close because on of his hands grabbed your hip hard, probably leaving a bruise later, continuing to rub circles on your clit at an ever faster pace and repeatedly hitting that spot inside you.
"Shit," you heard Steve grunt, looking down at you with a desperate look on his face. "I'm gonna–"
With whatever strength you were able to find, you begin to bop your head again to meet him halfway as he trusts in and out of you. You were looking up at him, practically begging for him to cum in your mouth.
And only after a few seconds, Steve cum hard inside your mouth, his seed filling you as you did your best to take it all, swallowing what you could as more of his semen was poured inside your mouth.
The show seemed to encourage Eddie, and you can practically feel him twitching inside of you while he continued to fuck you.
He took a few moments to recover, his dick still inside your mouth as you finished swallowing what he gave you. When he managed to calm his breathing just enough, he pulled out of your mouth and quickly begin cleaning the tears that still fell from your eyes and fix the mess your hair had become.
Now that you could talk, you managed to let out a series of "just like that", "fuck" and other series of profanities as Eddie repeatedly went in and out of you. You arched your back and leaned down on the bed, the slight change managing to somehow make him go even deeper inside of you.
Just a few rock of his hips were enough to make you cum impossibly hard around him, holding onto Steve's arm as you screamed out Eddie's name, feeling your entire body on fire.
Eddie reached his orgasm just a few moments after you, the sensation of your spasms against him, your cunt contracting all around him, making it impossibly tight as he gave his final thrusts. You let of a tired sigh when you feel him filling you up, ropes of hot cum spilling inside you, partially slipping out and dripping down your leg once Eddie was out of you.
You practically collapsed next to Steve on the bed, Eddie joining the two of you not long after. You removed the hair falling of Steve's forehead affectionately before kissing his cheek.
The three of you got under the covers of Eddie's bed, you in-between the two guys, snuggling closer to Eddie's chest as Steve cuddled you from behind, his arm over your body and his hand landing on Eddie's upper arm, tracing his fingers up and down his skin.
"We can, uh...it's fine if we crash here tonight?" Steve suddenly asked, feeling way too comfortable with the two of you and too exhausted to go back to his house.
"You can stay as long as you want, baby," Eddie replied, grinning at him.
"And you're more than welcome to smoke with us again," you joked, feeling so tired that your eyes practically closed by themselves.
"Can't wait," Steve replied, snuggling his face against your neck to slowly drift into a much needed sleep.
13K notes · View notes
sanguineterrain · 1 year
Text
it's a feeling that's fine - s.h.
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Summary: You accidentally climb the wrong fence on the hottest day of May. It turns out to be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 10.6k
Warnings/tags: no use of y/n, no physical descriptions, etc. reader is in a toxic friendship; she's slightly bullied in that indirect mean girl way, but the toxic friendship ends. reader cuts her finger by accident. drinking and drug mentions. fluff, humor, strangers to friends to lovers, summer vibes, so many princess bride references. steve is super duper sweet!!! post s4 volume 2.
A/N: so if you wondered where i've been for the last two months.... it was in a cave writing this fic. i'm really proud of this one; the reader is a little different than how i usually write, but i hope you'll like her all the same :) if you enjoy this fic, please please let me know through comments/reblogs!
divider by firefly-graphics
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Today is hot. 
Weatherman Dale had said this morning that today is a record high for May. It’s so hot, in fact, that Debbie Wellerman had called you this morning asking if you wanted to come swim in her pool. 
You’d asked if you could dig for worms in her yard. She’d sighed and hung up. You hope that means yes. Joan has been in need of some company. Worms would be good for her.
You go around Debbie’s house and stop at the back gate. The Wellermans are kind of mean and they don’t like it when you take too many cucumber sandwiches. To avoid them, you’ve taken to going through the back gate whenever Debbie invites you over. It works pretty well.
Except today, the gate is locked. Which is weird, because Debbie usually leaves it open. It’s how her boyfriend, Brett, sneaks in during the day, and how Brett’s brother, Chet, sneaks in at night. 
You’d asked once why the brothers come over separately. Debbie had gotten mad and kicked you out without giving you any ice cream. You don’t ask about Brett and Chet anymore.
The problem is that you’re wearing flip flops, which are not ideal for climbing fences. Or anything, really. You once climbed a jungle gym in flip flops and skinned both knees. 
You slip off your flip flops and fling them over the fence. They land a second later, clapping against the ground. The fence is covered in climbing ivy and tiny red flowers you’ve never seen before. You wonder how Debbie made them grow so fast.
The street is empty, which is nice. Sometimes people in Loch Nora like to yell at people who don’t also live in Loch Nora. 
The fence wood is hot but not so hot that you can’t touch it. You stick your feet in the little grooves and start to climb. It’s not too high of a fence, but it’s high enough to warn people who don’t belong here.
That’s never stopped you, though.
Getting over is trickier. You expect Debbie to see you by now, but there’s no sound. She must be inside, or maybe she’s out and forgot she’s invited you. She does that sometimes.
Wood dust clings to your fingers and the soles of your feet. When you’re a foot from the ground, you hop down. Then you turn.
There’s no sign of Debbie. There is, however, a boy.
He’s reclined on an inflatable blue ring floaty in the middle of the pool. He wears sunglasses and red board shorts with little white anchors on them. 
He has very pretty hair, both on his head and chest. He also has pretty lips. And arms. All of him is pretty, really. You wish you could see his face properly. He probably has a nice face too. Symmetrical and kind.
The area around the pool is paved just like at Debbie’s—only it’s a lot larger than you remember. There's a patch of dirt next to the gate. You go and crouch at the edge. You don't see any worms. Probably because it's so hot. You'd stay underground too if you were a worm.
You stand and turn to look at the boy again. He looks like he might be asleep. 
“Did Debbie invite you?” you ask.
The boy shoots up from the floaty. The shift in weight makes him lose his balance and he topples into the water a moment later. The floaty flips with him. 
He resurfaces almost immediately, spitting water and rubbing chlorine from his eyes. You squint.
Yes, you were right. He does have a very nice face.
The water comes up to his waist. He pushes his hair back in handfuls, blinking. Then he fishes his sunglasses out with his foot and sets them on his head. 
“Can you swim?” you ask.
He stares at you, blinking.
“What?” he says after a beat. 
“Can you swim?” you repeat.
“Uh, yeah? Yes, of course I can swim.”
"It would be bad luck if you couldn’t.”
His brows furrow.
“Because I can't swim,” you clarify.
“I wouldn’t be in the pool if I couldn’t swim,” he says.
“That’s good thinking.”
You sit at the edge of the pool and dip your calves in. He wades closer until he’s about three feet away.
“How did you get here?” he asks.
“I walked.”
“I mean, how did you get in my backyard?”
“Oh. I climbed the fence.” 
You peer closer. He looks familiar, but you can’t quite place him. 
“Are you Brett and Chet’s triplet?” you ask. “You’re a lot prettier than them. Did their mother feed you extra vitamins?"
His eyes go wide. “Uh… Brett and Chet Kingsley?”
“Uh-huh. Debbie invites both of them over, but never at the same time.”
“Who's—they don’t have a triplet.”
“That’s good. Three’s bad luck.”
“My house number has a three in it,” he says.
“Don’t step on any sidewalk cracks,” you warn.
He tilts his head, tongue poking out like he’s sizing you up. You let him, focusing on his face instead. He has dark, warm eyes the color of black tea. His shoulders are toned with lots of freckles on them. He looks like a boy who’d like Debbie, not you. 
“Is Debbie going to be back soon?” you ask. You don’t want to get attached to a boy who’ll just end up wanting Debbie instead. You've made that mistake before.
“Um… if you’re talking about Debbie Wellerman, she lives on the next block over. I’m Steve Harrington.”
“Oh. You’re the guy who fought the monsters.”
He eyes you warily. “Wh—how do you know about the monsters?”
"Who doesn't?" 
Steve opens his mouth, then closes it. 
“You can’t tell anyone," he finally says. 
You shrug and kick at the water gently.
“I have no one to tell. Debbie doesn’t believe in monsters.”
“She doesn’t believe in giving you a key either, huh?”
“She doesn’t usually lock her gate,” you say. 
“Well, this isn’t her gate.”
“Yeah. I like your shorts.”
Steve’s cheeks flush pink. 
“Are you getting sunstroke?” you ask. 
That turns his cheeks pinker. 
“No, no." He coughs. "I’m fine.”
“It’s a record high temperature for May,” you say. “That’s what Weatherman Dale said. The highest it's ever been since 1923." 
“Yeah, I heard." He nods. "I didn’t wanna run the AC the whole day so, here I am. My friend Robin was supposed to come over, but I guess she bailed.”
“Robin is a nice name. Is she a bird?”
Steve smiles. “No, she’s a girl.”
“Oh. I thought maybe she was a bird you’d made friends with while fighting monsters.”
“Well.” Steve shrugs. “I did sort of make friends with her while fighting monsters.”
“Robins are good omens. They bring luck."
“Huh.”
You swallow. You’re probably talking too much. That’s what Debbie would say. That’s why boys sneak into her yard and not yours. 
"So." Steve puts a hand over his forehead to block the sun. "Debbie Wellerman, huh? You don't seem like the type to be her friend."
"Friends can come from the most unusual places," you say. "Like under a tree or at the bottom of the ocean."
"Have you made many friends at the bottom of the ocean?" Steve asks with a smile. 
You hesitate. Is he making fun of you? Sometimes, you can't tell. The people in Loch Nora are good at making fun of you without you knowing. 
Steve’s hair has already begun to dry, a little crunchy from the chlorine. He doesn’t look like he’s making fun of you.
"Not many. But that's where I found Joan," you say.
"Joan was at the bottom of the ocean?"
"Kind of. I found her in a pond. Then I found her sister, but I lost her at sea and I couldn't swim out to rescue her. It was a sad day. Joan didn't handle it well."
Steve's brows rise. "Wow. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Joan has been on the incline. I think she's finally ready to get back out there. I wanted to find her company, but I didn't want to disturb your dirt." 
“My dirt?”
“Mmhm. I'm trying to make a social club for her."
"Out of dirt?"
"Out of worms."
"Huh."
Steve rests his chin on his arm that's perched on the ledge. 
"Your hair is wavy," you observe. 
"What? Oh, yeah. I didn't put anything in it."
"Like what? Secrets?"
"No, like, gel. Product."
You nod in realization. "Your hair was so big in school.”
Steve winces. "Yeah. Sorry, I wasn't the best guy back then."
"You were in your chrysalis. You needed time to grow. But then you turned into a butterfly. Or a moth, if you prefer."
"Moths are spooky," says Steve. "They look like they have eyes on their wings."
"Yes. But they're actually friendly. Unless you eat them. Some are poisonous." You lean in, deadly serious. "Don't eat moths."
"Will do."
"No, don't. And warn your Robin too. She might think one looks delicious and meet her doom."
A smile creeps onto Steve's face. 
"You're kind of strange," he says. "In the best way possible."
"Thank you."
"Do you want some lemonade?" 
"Is it poisoned?" 
"What?" Steve startles. "No, of course not."
"No, I suppose not," you say thoughtfully. "You hadn't expected me to climb over your gate, so you wouldn't have had time to poison the lemonade."
Steve stacks one arm atop his other, looking up at you. The ends of his hair have begun to curl. You like it so much. 
"What if I pour from the pitcher right in front of you? Will that make you feel better?" he asks. 
"You can still put something in my glass," you say. "Or you might have built a tolerance to the poison for this exact moment. Like in The Princess Bride."
"I'm only twenty-one. I would've had to start very young to build a tolerance. Besides, what would be my motivation to poison you?"
You shake your head. "There's no need for motivation. Violent delights. But you've fought monsters, and Lucas Sinclair says you're a good guy. So, yes, I will have some lemonade."
Steve pushes himself out of the pool with ease, dripping water all over the concrete. You stare at the rivulets that hurry down his legs and chest. He has a lot of hair everywhere. You like that too.
He offers his hand and you take it, letting him pull you to your feet. Your shoulder bumps his. Steve's skin is warm. He smells like chlorine and something sweeter. Pineapple, maybe. 
"You would do very well as a knight," you say. "If I were a princess, I'd want you to commit yourself to me."
Steve makes a weird noise in his throat. 
"Uh, th-thanks," he says. 
"You're welcome."
"So you, uh, know Lucas?"
"Yes. He lives on my block. His mom gives me rides sometimes."
You step in through the sliding glass door, which puts you directly in the kitchen. The house is at least twenty degrees cooler. You shiver at the sudden temperature change. 
"You don't have a car?" Steve asks. 
"No."
"You walked from your house to Loch Nora?"
"I took the bus part of the way. Then I walked."
Steve takes two glasses down from the shelf. Then he opens the refrigerator. You sit at the large kitchen island while he pours. 
"Debbie Wellerman has a car," Steve says. 
"Uh-huh. A Porsche."
A money car, she'd called it when she got it for her sixteenth birthday. Boys love girls with money cars. Maybe that's why boys don't love you. 
Steve hands you a glass. You take a long sip. Your mouth puckers and you scrunch your eyes shut as the acid coats your tongue.
"Shit. Not enough sugar?"
You swallow and open your eyes. 
"It's wonderful, Steve," you say earnestly. 
"You don't have to lie. I saw your mouth screw up."
"I'm not lying. It's the right amount of sour." 
Steve takes his own sip. His lips pucker, and he shakes his head.
"Nope. Definitely needs more sugar."
You cradle your glass in your hands. "Don't take mine. She's perfect."
Steve breathes a laugh, returning the pitcher to the fridge. He sits beside you on the island. He's already developing a slight tan. You wonder if more freckles appear the longer he's in the sun. 
"Why doesn't Debbie pick you up?" he asks. 
"Why would she pick me up?" 
"Because that's what nice friends do. And it's unfair to expect you to come all the way here when the buses don't go through Loch Nora."
"Debbie always expects me to come over," you say. "So I do. She doesn't like my house."
Steve frowns deeply. 
"I don't mind the walk," you offer, trying to make him smile again. 
It doesn't work. Steve takes another sip. His lips purse, red like cherry candy and shiny with lemonade. 
"She should meet you halfway more often," he says, dumping his lemonade into the sink. 
You trace shapes into the condensation of your glass. 
"I wanted to go rollerblading," you say. "But…"
"But what?" he prompts. 
"She didn't. Neither did Brett. They wanted to make out in the pool.”
Steve grimaces. “Sounds like a drag.”
“They make weird noises. Like goats at the zoo.”
Steve snorts. You smile and kick your legs, pleased.
“My friends go rollerblading,” he says. “The kids love to skate at the park. You could come with us one day.”
“You have kids?”
“No, I—” Steve shakes his head, chuckling. “Definitely not. No, they’re only a few years younger than me, but me and the other people our age call them kids. They’re part of our little monster-fighting group. Anyway, uh, y'know. Open invite. If you're ever tired of goat noises."
You stare at him for a minute. He seems nervous, and you can't make out why. Nobody's ever nervous around you.
"Okay," you say. "I'd like to meet your kids."
"Cool. Well, um, I can give you my number. We usually meet up on weekends, but once school ends, any day is game."
Your heart rate picks up. You know this part. Only from a distance, of course. But you know what it means when a boy gives a girl his number. 
“You want me to call you?” you ask.
“Yeah. I mean, if you want to. I feel like it’s a little forward for me to ask the girl who climbed my fence for her number. So, um, you can call me. Is that cool?”
Steve looks at you and waits. You chew your lip and nod.
“That’s okay.”
He smiles. “Great! I think I have a pen around here somewhere…”
Steve walks around the table to a stationary caddy on the counter and takes out a blue Sharpie. You stick out your arm, palm up. 
"Uh…" He looks at you. "I can find a notepad."
"This helps me memorize things better," you say and wiggle your fingers. 
"I don't wanna give you ink poisoning."
"You didn't poison me before. You're not very good at it."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
You shrug. "Depends on your aspirations."
Steve hesitates for another second. Then he takes the top of your forearm and begins to write on the soft underside. He writes slowly, which tickles, but you remain still. 
He's so close. You're reminded all over again of his hands and warmth and pineapple scent. 
Steve caps the marker. You inspect the writing. 
"Good penmanship," you say. 
"Think so? Robin says it's chicken scratch. But she can't talk—hers is ten times worse."
"It's neat," you say. "But not serial-killer neat. If I were a graphologist, I would give you the all clear."
"Graphologist?"
"A handwriting expert. I would write in my report, 'not a murderer.'"
"Well, that's a relief," Steve says. "I try to keep the murdering to a minimum."
You hum and finish your lemonade in one gulp.
“Thank you for not poisoning me."
“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Steve replies through a smile. 
His smile makes you nervous. A good nervous, though, like you're about to sled down a big hill. 
You push yourself off the stool. Steve gets up with you and opens the sliding glass door for you.
“A very stalwart knight,” you say, and walk over to where your flip flops are.
You throw them back over the gate. They land with a clack on the sidewalk.
You find your footholds on the gate and turn to look at Steve.
“It was nice to meet you, Steve Harrington. Don’t fight any monsters by yourself.”
“Whoa, hang on!” He jogs over and lightly touches your arm. It sears your skin like you've been kissed by the sun himself. “I’ll unlock the gate. You don’t need to… climb again.”
Steve pulls the latch next to you. The gate creaks open. You hop off and walk through. 
Steve leans against the gate, elbow bent. His bicep bulges. You've never been this close to a shirtless boy. Your stomach flips. 
“Are you sure you know where Debbie lives?” he asks.
Your eyes dart from his chest to his face. 
“Yes.”
“Really? ‘Cause you didn’t exactly find it the first time.”
“Second time’s the charm,” you say.
“I thought it was the third time.”
“No. Three’s bad luck, remember?”
Steve runs his tongue under his molars, once again staring at you like he’s trying to solve a puzzle. You slip into your sandals while he figures you out.
“Well, um. You can come back if you get lost. Or you need help. Or you wanna look for rocks."
You tilt your head. “You’d look for rocks with me?”
“I don’t know how helpful I’d be—all rocks look the same to me. My friends would probably be better at it than me. But, yeah, I would.”
“Okay. Thank you for your hospitality.”
He grins. “Sure thing.”
You take his hand and shake it. It’s warm and slightly calloused. You wonder if he holds girls’ hands often.
"I hope Robin finds your house," you say. "Goodbye, Steve Harrington."
Then you go.
You do find Debbie’s house on the second try. You hide your Sharpie'd arm behind your back when you enter. Debbie doesn’t ask why you’re late. Brett doesn’t acknowledge you, and you wonder how you mistook Steve for his brother. 
“There’s lemonade,” Debbie says as she heads in, Brett at her heels.
You don’t drink any. You know it won’t be the right amount of sour. 
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Movies are better in the summer. This is a fact you've learned to accept. 
There's no dread of the cold after you finish a movie in the summer. The tape ends and you can go outside and still love the real world. 
Sorry, we're on a break! the sign on the store window reads in loopy script. You sit on the hot curb in front of Family Video, your yellow shorts bunched around your thighs. Sweat sticks to the back of your neck, and you drag a hand across, then wipe your fingers on your shirt. 
From here, you can just see the cement-filled cracks in the asphalt, where the earthquake split the main road two years ago. Because of the cracks, the bus stops three blocks from the plaza, so you'd walked three blocks in the heat. 
You hadn't been lying to Steve, though. You really don't mind the walk. 
Beads of sweat drip down your forehead. One slips into your eye and burns. You make a fist and press it into your eyelid.
Okay. Maybe you mind a little.
"Hey, neighbor!"
You look up, squinting through the sun. Lucas Sinclair waves at you. You wave back. A girl with two red braids is next to him. 
"Hi, Lucas," you say, standing as they approach you on the curb. 
"This is my girlfriend, Max," he introduces proudly. 
"My congratulations. Getting a girlfriend is no easy feat."
Max studies you for a moment. "I think I should get the credit, considering I said yes." 
"Undoubtedly," you say. 
"Are you his neighbor?" she asks. 
"Yes. Lucas is an outstanding neighbor. You should be very proud of him." 
"I believe it," says Max. 
"What are you doing?" Lucas asks. 
"Lots of things," you say. "Breathing, digesting. But presently, I'm waiting for the video store to reopen. I want to rent The Princess Bride.”
Max snorts. "Good luck with that. Those two take five hour lunch breaks now, ever since Keith moved away. It's barely a business anymore."
"There must be a lot of courses in their lunch," you muse. 
"Yeah… uh, we're going to get ice cream. Wanna join?" asks Lucas.
"Okay." You turn to Max. "Will my presence impede your special plans?"
Max squints. "Special plans? Like what?"
"I don't know. Perhaps you've written Lucas a series of sonnets to profess your love."
"A series of what?"
"Poems."
"Love poems are corny," she says. 
You wonder if Steve would agree. 
"Sometimes corny things are good. When they come from the right person," you say. 
Max acquiesces with a hum. 
"No love poems today," she says. "You should join us."
So you follow a couple steps behind them to the Baskin-Robbins down the block. 
The AC whooshes as you step inside, drying your sweat to your forehead. 
“Wow,” Max says with a scoff. “It’s like Starcourt all over again.”
You follow her gaze and spot Steve. 
Oh. Steve.
He's in a green Family Video vest. A girl sits across from him, wearing a matching vest. She has cropped hair and a bandaid on one knee. 
“Hey, losers!” Max calls. “This isn’t a lunch break.”
The girl flips her off. “The sign says we’re taking a break. It doesn’t specify how long of a break.”
Lucas orders a scoop of strawberry ice cream for himself and a scoop of cookies and cream for Max. 
“Yeah, plus, we’ve had a grand total of one customer today,” Steve adds.
“Well, you would’ve had two if you hadn’t been here on your seventeen hour break,” Max shoots back.
He scoffs. “Oh, really? Who?”
“Can I get one scoop of rocky road ice cream with oreo crumble and gummy worms in a cup?” you ask the cashier. 
She goes to scoop the ice cream. Max proudly points at you. 
“Her,” she says with a smirk. “She wanted to rent The Princess Bride, and now she’s not gonna be a paying customer ‘cause you two are lazy.”
“I would still be a paying customer,” you say.
Max shakes her head at you.
“I’m trying to make a point,” she whispers.
“Oh. You’re doing great."
“Your total is three twenty-four,” the cashier says, sticking a spoon into your cup. 
The sound of a chair being dragged across the floor draws your attention. Steve is up, trying to free his leg from under the table. He finally wiggles free and jogs to the counter, wallet in hand.
"Hi,” he says. "I can pay." 
“But I have money,” you say, brows knitting.
“No, I know. I—now you can save your money. Do you–do you mind if I pay for you?”
“Will I have to pay you back?” you ask.
“Oh my God,” the cashier mutters under her breath.
You shrink at her tone. You've missed something, evidently. You have no clue what. 
Steve glances at her, mouth pinching. 
“No,” he says gently, turning back to you. “You don’t have to pay me back. It’s a gesture. As a friend.”
“Oh. Okay.” 
Steve gives her the money. You take your ice cream. 
“Smooth,” you hear Max say to Steve. He bumps her arm with his elbow.
Steve pulls a chair from another table for you. You all sit down.
"This is, uh…" Steve trails off, turning to you. "I'm sorry, I never got your name."
"You kept calling her Buttercup," the girl says. 
Steve whips his head around to hiss at her. 
"Robin." 
"She's my neighbor," Lucas says. 
"We know," Max tells him. 
"I don't." Robin raises her hand briefly, shooing Steve away. "I'm Robin Buckley."
"Hi, Robin. Watch out for moths," you say. 
She tilts her head and smiles. You look at Steve, who's already looking at you. 
"Princess Buttercup?" you ask. 
"Well." He rubs the back of his neck. "Y-Yeah, kinda. You mentioned The Princess Bride and, uh, I don’t know your name, so…”
You mull that over. 
"If I'm Buttercup, you must be Westley." 
Steve's eyes widen. "Uh…" 
Robin snickers. Max smirks. 
"Interesting shade of red you're turning, Westley," Robin says. 
"Shut—"
He kicks her chair leg. She yelps and shoves him in retaliation. Max rolls her eyes. 
"Have some class, will you?" she says. 
"I'm classy!" Steve insists. 
"Not anymore," Lucas says gravely. "Now you're a glorified babysitter." 
"Childcare is dutiful work," you say. 
Steve grins at you. Your stomach flutters.
“Is that a mud pie?” he asks. 
You nod. 
“Gummy worms?” 
You tilt your head. “How did you know?”
Steve chuckles. “Lucky guess.”
Across the table, the others argue about the classiest ice cream flavors.
“It’s obviously mango sorbet.”
“Sorbet isn’t ice cream!”
“Are they your kids?” you ask.
Steve leans in so you can talk in his ear. His arm is on the back of your chair. If you shift the slightest inch, you’d feel him.
“Minus Robin. Though, sometimes…” He rolls his eyes playfully. “But, um, yeah. Two of them.”
“How many kids do you have?” you ask.
“Let’s see…” Steve counts on his fingers. “Six?”
“Wow. You must be some babysitter.”
“I’m alright.”
You lean in. Steve blinks.
“What’re you doing?” he asks.
“You have an eyelash.” 
You swipe the hair off his cheek and hold your finger in front of his mouth.
“You have to make a wish.”
Steve’s eyes slide to you. He gently holds your hand in place. Your heart beats faster.
“‘Kay.” He blows the eyelash away, but doesn't release your hand. “Let’s see if it comes true.”
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The numbers stare at you. Taunt you, really.
You practically have them memorized. You’d written them thirty times on a piece of notebook paper. Then you’d shoved that under your bed. 
Now you have it taped to your dresser mirror. 
You wish you could talk to Joan about it, but she’s bathing in the sink after an unfortunate encounter with a paint can. 
The Sharpie is gone from your arm, has been gone for several days now. But if you concentrate, you can see its silhouette on your skin. 
You get up and peel the paper off the mirror. Then you go down the hall to your phone. 
Carefully, you dial, making sure not to press any wrong buttons. 
The phone rings. You rock on your toes.
“Hello?” Steve says.
You freeze. 
“Hellooo…?”
“Hi,” you finally say. “It’s Buttercup.”
“Oh!” He sounds so happy. “Hey! Hey, how are you?”
“Good.” You chew on a cuticle. “It’s Saturday.”
“Oh, right! Did you wanna go rollerblading?”
Relief floods you. He remembers.
“Yes. If you’re planning it.”
“I haven’t talked to the kids, but I’m sure they’d be down.” You can hear the smile in his voice. “I can pick you up in twenty?"
“I can walk.”
“C’mon, in the sun? You live on the same street as Lucas anyway, don’t worry about it.”
“Well.” You twirl the telephone cord around your finger so tightly, it threatens to cut off your circulation. “Okay… if it’s no trouble.”
“It’s no trouble,” Steve promises. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
You hang up and run to your room to dig for your skates. They’re stuffed under your bed next to a mini gumball machine. You shove two green gumballs in your mouth and race to the bathroom to check on Joan, nearly slipping on the wood.
“I’m going out, Joan. I think he might… he might like me.” You crunch on the gumball shells and shudder. “What a terrifying thought.”
You pull out the drain stopper and set Joan on a washcloth to dry. Then you go down the hall to put on your sneakers. 
Steve arrives five minutes early. You only know that because you spend the whole time watching the road from your curtained window. You shake your hands out, overwhelmed with nerves. 
It’s just a boy. He’s only a boy. 
The two of you meet halfway. Steve jogs backwards, unusually skillful, and opens the passenger door for you.
“Hey. Does Joan want to come?” Steve asks. 
You shake your head. “She’s having a spa day. It’s just me.”
“Well, I’m happy to have you,” he says, sweet and earnest. 
You duck inside the car and shake your hands a little, trying to fend off the returning nerves. Just a boy.
“So, that’s El,” Steve says as he gets into the driver’s seat, pointing to a girl with short curls. “And you know Max and Lucas.”
Max nods at you with a smile. Lucas waves.
“Hi, El,” you say. “Cool hair.”
“Thank you,” she says, voice soft. “I like your skates.”
“I found them at a yard sale. You can find anything in a yard.”
"Okay," Steve says. "Everybody buckled?" 
“Yes, Mom,” Max mumbles. 
Steve catches your gaze and rolls his eyes. You smile.
Briefly, you worry you’ll have to fill the silence and talk about yourself, like people expect you to. But Steve and the kids hold conversation easily. They talk about anything and everything. 
They're more energetic than you're used to; Debbie always prefers it to be quiet. 
But you don't mind it. You don’t feel lonely like you do when you’re with Debbie.
“Alright, please stay within this area,” Steve says when he parks and everyone gets out. “Within—”
“Shouting distance!” Max yells. “Yeah, we know!”
The park isn't crowded. Most of the paths are clear, so skating will be no problem. 
Max gets out two skateboards from the trunk. 
“Max is going to teach me how to do an ollie,” El informs you. “Would you like to join us?”
“Maybe later,” you say. “I want to master my yard skates.”
She nods and follows the others to the small skate park on the other side of the trees. 
You bring your skates to a bench and sit, lacing them up your feet. Steve is a few feet away, swinging his arms slightly.
“Aren’t you going to join them?” you ask.
“Oh, uh, no. I brought my own skates… I thought maybe we could skate together, if that’s okay?”
“Yes, I would like that,” you say. 
Steve beams. “Alright, cool. I’ll go get mine.”
You stand, about to take a step forward—and immediately slip.
Steve reacts instantly, lunging to catch you. One hand grabs your elbow, the other on your stomach. You squeal and cling to his shirt. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, helping you stand upright.
“I’m okay,” you say, breath caught in your throat.
You take a step but your foot wobbles. Steve grabs you again. You don’t try to take another step.
“I thought skating would be intuitive,” you say, rolling one skate to test.
“What?” 
You look up. Steve’s face is inches from yours. His hair is golden in the sunshine. His eyes lock on your own; his focus sends a jolt of electricity down your spine.
“You know, like how babies are able to swim for the first six months of their lives?”
“Uh…” Steve tilts his head. “No?”
“Oh. Because they were in the womb, they have that ability. ‘Cause they float around in there for nine months, you know? But then they lose it. That’s why we have to learn how to swim.”
“Wow. That’s a cool fact.”
Nobody ever thinks your facts are cool. But Steve does.
“Well, I thought skating would be similar,” you say. “I’ve watched other people skate, so I thought I’d just… do it. I guess I lost that at six months too.”
Steve’s smiling. It’s a gentle smile, though. Not a teasing smile. 
“I see,” he says. “I’m sorry for your disappointment.”
“It’s alright. Life is far more than disappointment. No use getting hung up on it.”
“Do you want me to teach you how to skate?” he asks. “I promise I’m good at it. Coach Collins said I could’ve seriously pursued it.”
“So skating for you is like avoiding death for Westley,” you say.
“Actually, I’m pretty good at avoiding death too,” Steve says. “And making grilled cheeses.”
“Triple threat.”
He ducks his head with a laugh, and you feel the warmth of it flow through your own body.
“Sure. Can’t make lemonade for shit, though.”
“I think your lemonade is perfect, Steve Harrington.”
His cheeks are scarlet again. It’s quickly becoming your favorite color.
“I would like it if you taught me,” you say.
“Okay. I’ll get my skates after you get the hang of it. Put your hand on my arm, right here.”
Steve pats his forearm. Carefully, you do as he says. 
“I’m nervous,” you confess. 
“I got you,” Steve says, cheek brushing your head. “I won’t let you fall, Buttercup.”
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Saint Aloysius’ parking lot has the best rocks. 
You've never told anybody as much because you imagine the lot would get busy, and you like it empty.
Today, you're searching for a brother for Joan. Ever since that tragic day at Macinaw Island, Joan's been very lonely. It‘s hard being a sisterless sister. 
Joan is smooth and round, so you look for an equally smooth and round brother. Commonality is important. 
Your knees hurt from squatting, so you sit. The rocks poke your butt. 
You hear a car rolling up the hill, engine a soft purr. You stop and turn. 
The car is maroon and shiny, with only a couple slight scratches you can't notice unless you look really hard. You don't recognize the license plate, although you have yet to start your record of Hawkins plates. 
It putters to a stop in front of Giovanni's Bakery across the street. The car doors open. 
"I'm losing my edge, Robs! I made a damn fool of myself. I can't even—"
"Okay, first of all, I feel like we're glossing over the fact that you don't even know this girl. And what she did was technically trespassing."
"Do you know her name?" another voice pipes up. 
"No, Dustin, I don't know her name. I don't even know if she lives in Hawkins!"
Their voices disappear as they go inside the bakery. You find Joan a brother, Jack, and Jack finds a wife named Gwen. Gwen isn't smooth and round; she's sharp-edged and will be harder to clean, but she's a muted salmon color and you think she's pretty. You hope Jack will find her pretty too.
As you dig through the pile of rocks, your finger catches on the edge of a broken bottle. It slices your finger. Blood swells immediately. 
You put your new rocks in your plastic red pail with your other hand. Then you stand, joints popping as you do so. You stick your ribs out and bend your spine in a stretch. 
You cross the street to the bakery, pail in hand. The bell jingles as you enter. You hum the ding-dong under your breath. 
"Can I help you?" the man behind the counter asks.
"Hello. Can I have five baci di dama and five of the raspberry sandwich cookies?"
He goes to the display case with a paper bag. You rest your elbows on the counter, pail handles over your arm. 
"Anything else?"
"Yes. Do you have a bandaid? I'm bleeding."
The man purses his lips. "No bandaid, sorry."
"That's okay. Just the cookies, then." 
"Buttercup?"
You turn. Steve stands before you, wearing his Family Video vest. Robin is beside him, her hair piled into a windblown bun on her head. Another boy, shorter than both, younger, is with them. He waves at you, curls bouncing. 
You wave back. Robin squeals.
"Oh my God, what happened to your finger?" she asks, horrified. 
"There was a broken bottle in the parking lot."
"Jesus," Steve says. He takes your hand and inspects it. He's so close and warm. All you can do is stare at the freckles on his neck. 
“Why were you in the parking lot?” he asks.
“I was looking for rocks. This is the best rock spot in all of Hawkins. Well, after Lover’s Lake. But the pH has been abnormally high there. Probably because of the monsters. So I came here.”
"Hi, I'm Dustin," the boy introduces. “Is your finger okay?”
"Hi, Dustin. I think I’ll survive,” you say. “Dustin means brave warrior in Norse.”
Dustin beams. “Yup. I was named after my grandfather. He served in World War Two.”
"Names are important,” you say. “Joan agonized for days deciding what I should call her. Eventually, I decided for her. A name says a lot about a person. Steve has a warrior and good luck at his side."
"Yep, Steve-o here is pretty blessed to have us. And," he gestures to you, "You are?"
"Hungry," you say, taking your bag of cookies with your free hand. 
The bag crinkles as you open it. You hold it out to Steve. 
"Do you want one? I promise they’re blood-free.”
"Uh…” He glances at your hand. “Are you sure your finger is okay?”
“She’s a trooper. Survived ink poisoning and everything.” You wave the bag again. “Cookie?” 
Steve takes a baci di dama out and pops it into his mouth. He hums as he chews, nodding. 
"'S good," he says after he swallows.
"Baci di dama means lady's kisses in Italian," you say. 
His cheeks turn pink again. 
"You should drink more water," you add. "You turn pink easily."
Robin snorts. Steve holds a hand to his cheek. 
"Uh, thanks."
“You’re welcome. Robin, would you like a cookie?" 
"No, thanks,” she says. “I'm picking up a tiramisu for my mom's birthday."
"I want a cookie!" Dustin says. 
"Dude," Steve hisses. 
You hold the bag open to Dustin. He takes a raspberry sandwich cookie. 
"So," Dustin says, mouth full. "Are you Steve’s girlfriend or something?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” you say.
“Du-ude!” Steve says too loudly, voice climbing in pitch.
“What? You talk about her all the freakin’ time. I needed to know.”
You look at Steve. He rubs the back of his neck and half-smiles.  
“Anyway,” continues Dustin. “How do you know Steve?”
"I climbed over his gate by accident on the hottest day of May,” you say.
"By accident?" 
"Yes. All the gates in Loch Nora look the same. Except Steve's gate has climbing ivy and little red flowers. It's much nicer than the other houses. It looks like a person lives there. I mistook it for Debbie's gate." 
Robin tilts her head at you. You don't care what Steve says; she's a one hundred percent bonafide bird. 
Dustin points to your pail, crumbs all over his chin. "Why do you have rocks?"
"They're for Joan," you say.
"Joan? Is she your friend?"
"She's more like my confidante. She doesn't talk much, so I think it'd be presumptuous of me to call her a friend when I have no idea where we stand." 
"Navigating friendships can be hard," Steve offers. 
"Yes," you say. "They can be."
"Being straightforward can help a lot," he continues. "It, uh, at least helped me. That way the other person knows what you mean. No room for miscommunication."
You nod. "That's good advice. I'll have to try that with Joan. Sometimes she can be kind of hard-headed."
You roll up your bag of cookies and reposition your pail on your arm so the metal doesn't dig into your skin. 
"It was nice to meet you, Dustin," you say. "Goodbye, Steve and Robin."
"Wait!"
Steve holds the door for you and follows you out. He still smells sweet, like pineapple, and also a little woody. He touches the small of your back, sending a bolt of electricity down your spine.
"I have a first aid kit in my car. Let me wrap your cut."
"Oh." You'd forgotten about it. "Okay."
You follow Steve to his car. He pops the trunk and rummages. You spot a bat with nails. 
"Very inventive," you say, pointing at the bat. 
Steve laughs shyly. "Yeah, uh, the monsters."
"I definitely wouldn't want to fight you if I were a multi-dimensional monster."
He smiles and takes out a small spray bottle of disinfectant. 
"This is gonna sting, okay? But we need to make sure nothing gets infected."
"An infection would be unfortunate," you say. "I'm quite attached to this finger." 
He sprays and cleans your finger. You wince and Steve squeezes your wrist in apology. Then he pulls out bandaids. 
"Any preference? I have rainbow, Star Wars, 'cause they're all a bunch of nerds, cats… oh, I have flowers! ‘Cause you’re, uh, Buttercup, you know?" 
"Flowers," you say, because Steve's so excited about it. 
He nods and opens the bandaid. You hold out your finger and Steve carefully wraps it. He rubs your knuckle. 
"Thank you," you say. 
"You're welcome. Be careful, okay?"
"I will."
He closes the trunk, swinging his keys on his finger. 
"Sorry if that was awkward, by the way," he says. "Dustin, I mean. He can be… blunt." 
"It wasn't awkward."
“It wasn’t?”
“No,” you say. “I’m happy you tell people about me. I tell Joan about you all the time.”
"Oh." He nods. "That—that’s good. So… we’re both… uh—”  
"Do you want another lady's kiss?"
"What? Oh—" Steve clears his throat. "N-no, that's okay. Thanks."
You take out a raspberry cookie and bite into it. 
"Your hair has product," you observe. 
"Yeah. No secrets, though."
"Everybody's hair has secrets."
"Even yours?" he asks. 
"Especially mine." 
Steve rubs the back of his neck. You open your bag and take out another cookie. He looks like he's trying to find the right words to say. You don't mind waiting. 
"Hey, do you like barbecue?" he asks. 
"I like it as well as anybody else."  
"Well, um, I'm having a barbecue this Saturday. Lucas won a big championship game and so we're celebrating his win."
"That's nice," you say. "Congratulations to Lucas."
"Yeah! So, um, did you maybe want to come too? It'll be at my house. You could bring a friend if you wanted. Like Joan."
"Joan is a vegetarian," you say. "But I'm sure she'd enjoy the company."
Steve smiles. He has such a pretty smile. 
"We're ordering pizza too, so Joan can have some of that."
"You're a very thoughtful host.”
Then you have a terrible thought. But you have to ask it because if you don't, you might be breaking some kind of invisible expectation. You do that a lot. 
"Does Debbie have to come?" you ask. 
Steve blinks. "Uh, no? It's not a requirement."
"Some people ask me to parties because they want Debbie to come." 
Steve frowns. "That's rude. I wouldn't do that."
"Okay. What time does the barbecue begin?"
"You can stop by anytime. But we'll probably start eating around six."
You nod. "Joan and I will be there at five thirty."
Steve's answering grin is blinding. He must be really excited to meet Joan. You get it; Joan's the life of any party she attends. 
"Great, that's great. I'll see you then."
"Bye, Steve," you say. 
"Bye," he answers like he's out of breath. 
Even the way he breathes is pretty.
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Every month, Miles Stanwick throws a party. 
Miles is a celebrity in Hawkins, his father being a state senator, and Miles is, according to a drunk Debbie, “the Gatsby to her Daisy.”
You're pretty sure Debbie hasn't read the book. Or maybe she's a living tragedy. Either is possible. 
It had been just you two in her room, without the Other Debbie she pretends to be to impress the people of Loch Nora, when she'd told you what it meant to be in love. 
"You just know," she'd said, her breath reeking of tequila.
You'd turned your head. Tequila made your nose itch. 
"But you love Brett," you'd said. 
"Brett is who I'll marry," she'd corrected. She’d sounded so sad. "Miles is all I've got."
Then she'd thrown up all over her carpet. You'd helped her into bed and made a mental note to find her a friend like Joan to keep her company, for when you weren't around. 
You don't like parties. They're loud and smelly and usually filled with people you don't like or don't know. And at a party, people you don't like and people you don't know are one and the same. 
You would leave, but Debbie is your ride tonight. So you're stuck here until midnight, maybe even later. 
Someone plugs in a karaoke machine and that gets most of the party's attention. The music is horribly loud and is the kind that’s just a lot of synthesizer. 
A guy jumps onto the Stanwicks' coffee table and knocks over the potpourri dish. Dried petals and orange peels scatter across the carpet. 
Debbie appears in front of you, a red Solo cup in her hand. 
"What did I bring you here for?" she asks, mouth curled. "To slump on the couch?"
"No one here wants to talk," you say. 
Debbie rolls her eyes. "Parties aren't for talking. They're for drinking and making out. Someone's rolling a blunt in the den. Go suck on that, will you?"
The people in Loch Nora are so good at making you feel two inches tall. You wish you'd brought Joan. She'd know what to do. 
You've tried alcohol before. Champagne at a wedding. A sip of rum from the Wellermans' liquor cabinet, back when Debbie wasn't so caught up in being just like everyone else. 
Maybe it's your fault, too. Maybe you're too good at standing out. 
You go to the kitchen. It's already trashed. You step over a spill on the floor. Then you turn around and lay down some paper towels so no one will slip. 
There are various bottles of strong liquor strewn across the counters. You decide to try the punch and fill your cup to the top. You sniff it and your nose wrinkles at the whiff of alcohol. 
You so badly want to have fun. You want to know what makes all of this worth it. You want your friendship with Debbie to be worth it. 
You down the punch in one go. It makes you cough and you scramble for water at the sink. You wonder if the punch is poisoned. 
You wobble out of the kitchen a couple minutes later, head already woozy. A girl stands with a drink, one arm folded. 
"Where's Debbie?" you ask. The girl winces and steps away from you. 
"She went with Miles and some other people to the lake."
Your eyes widen. "No, they can't. There's monsters."
She looks at you like you might be an insect splattered on her dashboard. 
"You're Debbie's weird friend, aren't you?"
Weird doesn't make you feel good, like Steve calling you strange did. Weird makes you feel like when a boy in sixth grade stepped on your heels while going up the stairs because he thought it was funny. 
"Debbie would've told me," you say. 
The girl shrugs. "Guess she ditched you. She can't score with Miles if you're killing the vibe." 
Weird tastes like poison in your mouth. 
"Debbie was my ride," you say, but she’s already gone.
Your head aches. You try to think on what to do next. It's nearly midnight. No one is awake, and you have no idea how to call a cab. 
You find the Stanwicks' phone in the hall and dial the only number you know, besides your own, and the local pizzeria. 
"Hello?" 
You lean against the wall, phone in both hands. 
"Uh, hello? Who is this?" 
"H-hi, Westley." Your voice cracks. 
"Hey," Steve says, unbearably gentle. "My favorite rock girl. Jesus, it's… midnight."  
"I'm sorry," you say. 
"No, no, it's alright. I'm just—is everything okay? Are you okay?" 
"Debbie ditched me."
Silence. For a moment, you panic that the line's dropped.
"Steve?"
"Where are you?" 
"I'm, um, at Miles Stanwick's. The address is… well, I don't remember, but I'll go outside and look for the house number—"
"I know it," Steve says. "Stay right there. I'm coming to get you. Don't drink any more."
Your lip wobbles. "'Kay."
"It's okay," he soothes. "Drink some water. Don't take anything from anybody." 
"I just wanted to be fun," you blurt. 
"You are fun, Buttercup. Way more fun than anybody at that house, I guarantee it. I'll be there in ten minutes, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you, Steve," you say, no longer feeling so small. 
You hang up and go to the kitchen to get more water from the sink. Then you return to the hallway and sit, back against the wall, knees tucked into your chest. 
You doze, lids heavy from the alcohol. The next thing you know are two hands on your arms. 
You jolt awake. One hand cradles the back of your head so you don't thump it against the wall. 
"Hey, hey." Steve kneels in front of you. He brushes your cheek with a cool knuckle. "It's me, it's Steve. Are you okay?"
His hands are cool against your overheated skin. He smells like lemon shampoo. 
"My knight," you say. 
"I thought Westley was a pirate."
“He was only pretending." 
You let Steve ease you up. His car keys dig into your hip.
"Ow," you say dazedly. 
"What? What hurts?"
"Keys."
"Oh." Steve shifts you to his opposite side, hand on your back. "Sorry, honey." 
"Honey never spoils," you say. "Did you know that? You could dig up honey from a tomb that's thousands of years old and as long as it was stored in an airtight container, it's good to eat."
"I love that you know that." 
"Do you really?" 
"I really do," Steve says. "C’mon, let's get you home." 
Outside, the moon is a dot of cream in the purple sky. The neighborhood is quiet. Most of the houses are also dark. 
"I'm sorry for calling you so late," you say. 
"Don't be. I'm glad you called me. These parties can get out of hand."
"Debbie left. She went to Lover's Lake with Miles—"
The panic returns, flooding your body. You squirm and Steve tries to keep you steady. 
"Whoa, what's—"
"The monsters! There's monsters down there, Steve. I don't like Miles, but I don't want him to be eaten!"
"No, no, no more monsters," Steve assures you. "They can't come through there anymore."
You still. "Promise?"
"I promise."
He helps you into the passenger seat of his car. Steve leans in and pulls the seat belt over you.
"Comfy?" he asks. 
"I like you so much, Steve Harrington."
It's too dark to tell, but you suspect he's got another case of sunstroke. 
"I, um, like you too, Buttercup. You're really cool."
"Me?" You wave your hand. "No."
"Really," he insists. "You are. The coolest."
If you were Debbie, if you weren't weird in the wrong way, if you didn't go to parties to talk, and if you fit a million other criteria you never will, Steve would kiss you right now. Or maybe you'd kiss him. 
But you don't know how to go about that. You don't think it's your right to do such a thing. 
So Steve shuts the door and walks around to the driver's seat. You stare at your flower bandaid.
"Four three's," Steve says as he turns the ignition. 
You turn your head. "Hmm?"
"The house number. Four three's. That's gotta be, like, astronomically bad luck, right?"
"Without a doubt."
Except you're here with Steve Harrington, and he calls you honey and thinks you're cool. And that doesn't seem like bad luck at all. 
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"I'm going to a barbecue," you call out. 
There's no reply. You close the door behind you.
Joan sits in your pocket. You've tied a purple ribbon around her head, right above her googly eyes. You don't know what the dress code is for a barbecue, but you hope she's not underdressed.
You haven’t spoken to Steve since Miles’ party. You’re not sure what you should say, and you can’t bear the thought of calling him to hear silence. 
Even if he doesn’t like you the way you like him, you hope he’ll still be friends with you. Steve and his kids have grown on you. You don’t know if you can go back to who you were before the hottest day of May. 
“Material Girl” plays from inside Steve's backyard. You mouth the words as you fling your flip flops over the gate. 
"What the fuck?" someone says from the other side. 
You climb the gate and shimmy down. It's a good thing you're wearing shorts under your dress.
A boy, lanky and tall but probably Lucas's age, holds one of your flip flops. He stares at you and shakes the shoe. 
"Is this yours?"
"Both of them are," you say. "Does Steve like Madonna?"
He grimaces. "Unfortunately."
"Cool."
You spot Steve sitting on one of the deck chairs with Robin and a boy your age with big, curly hair and a Led Zeppelin shirt with cropped sleeves. 
"Venus" plays next and you wobble in time with the music as you walk over to Steve. 
"Her weapons were her crystal eyes," you whisper. The pavement is warm under your toes. 
"Making every man mad." 
Steve turns just as you reach him. He stands so fast he shakes the chair. 
"Hey!" he says. He sounds out of breath again. "Hey, you came."
"You invited me," you say. 
"Yeah, yes." Steve nods. "I did. I'm glad you're here."
"You play good music."
"Ha!" Steve whips his head to look at the curly haired boy. "Suck it, Munson."
"She's obviously biased." 
"Munson," you say. "Eddie Munson?"
Eddie freezes under your gaze. Robin and Steve glance at you. 
"Yeah, uh, that's me." Eddie smiles weakly. "Look, you might've heard some stuff abou—"
"You helped fight the monsters," you interrupt. "You're very brave." 
Eddie's eyes widen. "I—"
"Most people just like to ignore monsters. It takes a really good person to fight them." You turn to Steve. "Do you have orange Fanta?" 
"Yeah, sure. I'll get you a can. Feel free to sit… where are your shoes?"
You point behind you. "Your bodyguard had to screen them after I climbed your gate. You have very tight security."
"After you climbed my… wait, Mike? God, I’m sorry about him. I'll get your shoes back."
"It's okay. Flip flops are dangerous weapons. It's only a matter of time before the airport bans them." 
Steve tilts his head, eyes warm. "Right. I'll be back. That's Eddie and Robin… you know them."
"I know their names, and that's about all you can know about anybody."
Eddie giggles. You look at him. He doesn't seem to be laughing at you, so you sit where Steve was sitting, across from Eddie's chair. You point at his shirt. 
"I like Kashmir."
"Thank God! Somebody with decent tastes."
"I'll listen to anything," you say. "It's important to be a good listener."
Eddie grins. "Words of the wise."
"Where's Joan?" Robin asks. 
"Right here." You take Joan out of your pocket and set her down on the edge of the pool chair. 
"Sick," Eddie says.
You nod. "The ribbon was my pick."
"I like it," Robin says. 
"Thank you."
Steve returns with an orange Fanta for you and a root beer for Robin. 
Robin points to Joan. "Steve, this is the famous Joan we've heard so much about."
"That's a rock," says Steve. 
"Yep."
"Oh." He nods in understanding. "Joan is your pet rock?"
"Confidante," you correct. "’Pet’ is demeaning."
"Got it. And was Joan's sister also your confidante?"
"No. Joan's sister didn't like me much. She thought I was a bad influence on Joan. But we shouldn't talk about it now. Joan gets very sad when I bring it up."
You open your can. The carbonation hisses. It's itchy and sweet on your tongue. 
"I like your hair," you say. "It's fluffy. Like it was on the hottest day of May."
Steve pushes a couple strands behind his ear.
"Thanks. The gel is too much on hot days like these. Weighs me down."
"At least you won't float away." You look at Eddie. "Is your hair full of secrets too?"
Eddie ruffles his hair. "Not as many as Steve's, but I've got a couple in here. 'S what gives my curls volume." 
"Hm. Just as I suspected," you say. 
"Ste-eve!" Dustin whines from across the yard. "You promised burgers!"
Steve rolls his eyes. "You'd think he's never been fed in his life."
Eddie pats his shoulder. "You've got this, Harrington."
"Oh, no. You wanna eat, you've gotta earn your keep. Come on."
Eddie groans, flinging himself off the chair. "Save me, Buckley!"
"Already did that," she says, pulling her sunglasses onto her eyes. "Never again." 
"You should tie up your hair so it doesn't catch fire," you suggest. 
"Well, at least somebody cares about me," Eddie declares, pulling his hair into a ponytail. 
Steve turns to you and smiles softly. 
"Are you hungry? You can have the first pick of the burgers."
"Won't Dustin be annoyed?"
Steve shrugs. "Kid could use some manners. Besides, pretty girls always get the first pick. It's the law." 
You follow Steve and Eddie to the grill, pretty girl echoing in your brain the whole time. 
Eddie's hair doesn't catch on fire and Steve makes you a perfect burger. The sun sparkles on the pool surface. The kids come out to eat and, predictably, Dustin complains about not getting the first burger.
"Not fair. Just 'cause she's your girlfriend," he mumbles as he goes off to search for the mustard. 
You check to see if Steve had heard the comment. He doesn't seem to have; you can't decide if you're relieved or not. 
The chairs are all taken by the time you finish fixing up your burger. Steve stands immediately as you approach.
“Here, take my seat,” he says.
“We can share,” you offer.
Steve lets you take the back of the chair, settling at the foot. “You Make My Dreams Come True” plays on the speakers. 
“Whoever made this mixtape is a genius,” you announce.
“You like it?” says Steve. “I actually made this one. Robin and Eddie think my taste sucks, but—”
“It’s spectacular.”
He hums, ducking his head shyly. “Well, speaking of spectacular: I made more lemonade, if you want to test it before I unleash it upon the masses.”
“I’ll happily drink your lemonade,” you say. “It’ll build my iocane tolerance.”
Steve grins. “I rented The Princess Bride, by the way. I know you meant to get it a few weeks ago. We can watch it tonight, if you want.”
“You remembered I wanted to watch it,” you say.
He nods. “Well, uh, yeah. Do you still want to? If you don’t, I can—”
“I do,” you say. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, of course.” Steve stands, hand outstretched so you’ll give him your empty plate. “I’m going inside. Anybody want anything?”
“Doritos!” Robin shouts.
“Napkins, please,” El says.
“Cherry Coke!” Mike calls.
“Beer!” Eddie whoops.
“Doritos, napkins, got it. The cooler is right there, Wheeler, and are you kidding, Eddie? No drinking by the pool. Have we not learned our lesson from the last four years?”
“Bold of you to assume I’ve learned anything, Steven.”
“Can you bring us popsicles?” Max asks. “Lemon and grape.”
“Ooh, popsicles sound good,” says Robin. “Bring me one too. Fruit punch.”
Steve sighs, lifting his arms.
“Two hands, guys. Only got two.”
“I can help,” you offer.
“Now that’s a great idea,” Robin says. “The two of you in the kitchen, alone. Really brilliant, don’t you think, Steve?”
Steve glares at her. Then he turns to you, expression softening.
“That’d be great, thank you.”
You follow him into the kitchen. It looks exactly like the last time you were here, except for the food. Steve opens the freezer and digs through the box of popsicles. Then he takes the pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge and sets it on the counter.
“Can you get the Doritos?” he asks. “They’re up there.”
You open a shelf over the stove. The chips are at the very top. You try jumping; all that does is bang your ribs into the counter.
"Whoa, whoa.”
Steve’s hand rests on your back. Your stomach swoops. 
"Easy, Buttercup. I’ll get it, sorry ‘bout that."
You frown. "The Doritos have eluded me."
"They’re a tricky bunch," he says, reaching and successfully grabbing the chips.
"I knew you’d best me and succeed."
"Best you?" 
"Yes," you say. "Like in a duel."
Steve tilts his head, a tiny crinkle forming in the center of his brows. 
"Are we going to duel? Like Inigo and Westley?"
"Not if I can help it," you say. "I'm terrible with a sword."
"I would never try to sword fight you." 
"I appreciate that."
His hand slips from your back. You watch it fall to his side.
“Feel free to help yourself to whatever you want,” Steve says as he takes a glass out of the cupboard. “You can also take food home.”
You exhale through your nose and wiggle your fingers a little, trying to stave off the nerves. You wish Joan was in your pocket right now, but you left her on the deck chair. 
“Buttercup?” 
You look up. Steve has a glass of lemonade in one hand. The top button of his polo shirt is undone. Was it always undone? You can’t remember. 
Anyway, he’s beautiful. And you’re so damn strange.
“Yes, Westley?”
Steve smiles. You don’t think anyone has ever smiled at you as much as Steve does. 
“Everything okay?” he asks.
He puts the glass in front of you. You glance at it, then back at him.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Are you sure? I won’t force you to drink my crappy lemonade if you don’t want to, y’know.”
“You called me strange,” you blurt. “When we first met.”
Steve’s eyes widen. 
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he says softly. “But I won’t call you that anymore if you don’t like it.”
“No, I–I know you didn’t mean it in a bad way. But…”
He nods, encouraging you to continue.
“I’m not like Debbie,” you say. 
“I know.”
“I’ll probably never be like Debbie.”
“I much prefer you as yourself,” he says.
“Oh.”
You sip your lemonade. Your lips pucker but you smile all the same.
“Damn,” Steve says with a chuckle. “I really can’t nail that lemonade, huh?”
“It’s wonderful,” you whisper. 
He takes a step forward. You set the glass on the counter.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks.
“I would very much like that.”
Steve’s lips are slightly chapped. You taste like lemonade and he tastes like Coke and God, you like it so much.
You loop your arms around his neck like you’ve wanted to do for weeks. He returns in kind, both hands slipping to your waist. 
It’s not just a boy kissing you. It’s Steve.
The sliding glass door whooshes open and you jerk your head back in surprise. Max and Dustin trod in. 
Dustin shrieks. 
“Seriously? This is what was taking you so long?”
“If you were gonna do that, we would’ve gotten the popsicles ourselves,” Max says with a huff, grabbing the popsicles and chips from the counter. 
“Told ya they were making out!” comes Eddie’s voice from outside. “I warned you, kiddies!”
They clear out, with one last stink eye from Dustin. Steve shakes his head, nose pressed to your cheek.
“Again, very sorry about them.”
“They wanted to check in on their favorite babysitter,” you say.
Steve lifts his head and rolls his eyes. “I need a padlock or something.”
You hum and lean over to unwrap a popsicle. 
“Oh,” you say. “Three left.”
“Three popsicles?”
“Mmhm.”
“Well, that explains it. Astronomical bad luck, right?”
“Actually,” you say, leaning in for another kiss. “I think my theory was wrong.”
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