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softxsuki · 9 months

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Hello, may I make an URGENT request, please?

Nxx boys with an s/o who isolate themselves when going through a depressive and anxiety induced episode. To the extent that they actively go out of their way to avoid people (including them), they texted them one message about it before leaving them on read) . When they check on the reader, they are super skittish and super anxious about burdening others. S/o insists that they are okay even though they are trembling to the point where they struggle to stand. S/o is anxiously fixating on being "clean" (showering and exfoliating excessively to the point their skin is kinda red, wearing a white oversized shirt ) and being "cold enough" (their place is dark, max ac, fans on max) (they are also just wearing a loose shirt and shorts trying to feel something). In addition, there are red dots on the shirt along the center of their body, indicating fresh self-harm.

(Thank you in advance, and my apologies if It's really specific and it makes you uncomfy)

Tears of Themis Boys Comfort S/O Who Tries To Isolate Themself

TW: Do not read it mentions of blood and self harm, along with poor mental state will make you feel worse, rather than comfort you!

Pairings: Luke x Gn!Reader, Marius x Gn!Reader, Artem x Gn!Reader, Vyn x Gn!Reader

Warnings: mentions of self-harm, fresh cuts, blood, depression, anxiety, poor mental state in general, isolation, feeling like a burden

Genre: comfort

Post-Type: headcanons

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: In which you find yourself going through episodes of depression and anxiety so you try to isolate yourself from the boys

[A/N: Hello! Firstly, I'm sorry that this was as soon as I could write and post this urgent request for you, but I thank you for being patient and understanding! I tried my best to include as many details as you mentioned, but I did end up leaving some out. As we can see I went a little overboard, but I hope this helps you out <3. Hope you enjoy! Depression and anxiety are so horrible to deal with, trust me I have a few episodes as well, they come so suddenly and they definitely hit hard. Reach out if you ever need to, I'm here if you need anything! <3]

Luke:

As your childhood friend, Luke notices that something is wrong the minute you begin to isolate yourself from him

You guys always hangout together, whether it be him walking you home from work, or grabbing a quick lunch together between your busy schedules, both of you always made time for each other

So when you began messaging him that you couldn’t get lunch or see him, red alerts went off in his head immediately

He just wants to make sure it’s nothing serious and wants you to know that he’s there for you if you need him, so he sends you a quick text

You do respond, but your message is short and cryptic; however, after that, all his other messages get left on read

He acknowledges that you clearly need space, so he gives it to you, sending a check-in message to you every few hours as he continues his work for the day

By the end of the day with still no response from you, he decides enough is enough, so he races over to your place

He doesn’t want to be a nuisance and seem overbearing, but he was very worried now, this had never happened before since the two of you began dating

Arriving at your home, your door is surprisingly unlocked so he lets himself in, making a mental note to remind you to not leave your door unlocked when you are home alone…

But he’s met with pure darkness in your home along with a freezing breeze

He enters your room to find you on your bed in only a t-shirt and shorts to cover you from how cold is was in there

He does internally freak out for a moment and thinks the worst–probably stares at you for a while, holding his breath, until he sees your chest rise, indicating you were indeed alive, and only then is he able to breathe again

“MC,” he calls out in a whisper, not wanting to alarm you from his sudden presence as you lie on your bed with your eyes closed in the darkness

It does spook you a bit, but you could recognize his voice anywhere as you open your eyes and question why he was there, in which he quickly scolds you for keeping your door unlocked but sighs as he sits beside you on the bed

“What’s going on?” He asks.

“Nothing, I’m fine” you say quickly

Did you really think he’d believe that? He’s a detective for crying out loud, he could spot a lie a mile away, especially when it came from you, someone he knew for so long now

As his eyes get accustomed to the dark, he notices a dark stain on your shirt and leans forward to turn your bedside lamp on–and then it becomes very clear what was going on…that was blood

“Spill, I’m all ears”

You know he means business, and you can’t exactly hide the blood from your self-harm on your shirt either, so you let it all out; how low you’ve been feeling lately, and how you got a wave of depression and anxiety out of nowhere, hence your distance from him

“I just didn’t want to burden you with all these complicated feelings that not even I can handle. You’re busy with your own work and I don’t want to distract you from that…but I’m sorry for ignoring your messages. I did read them all and I appreciate your support and allowing me some space,” you sigh, feeling bad that he ended up in this mess anyway

“You’re not a burden to me, MC. You’re my lover and my childhood friend, we have a bond unlike any other. You don’t have to pretend to be okay around me. You’ve always been there for me on my rough days, so it would be an honor to do the same for you…I love you…a lot. I hope you know that I’ll always be here for you. The second you need me, I’d drop everything to hear you out and help you through it,” Luke expresses and he reaches out to hold your hand, pulling you into his arms

And just like that you felt a little less lonely through your feelings, you could get through this

After giving you some privacy to clean up your fresh cuts, Luke spends the night with you as he feels a bit nervous leaving you alone. He’d make you some hot chocolate or any kind of drink that you’d like to warm you up as he turns the fans off and lowers the ac, throwing a blanket on you

You wanted to feel something? Well enjoy the warmth this man provides you with as he joins you under the blanket and gets lost in conversation with you for the rest of the night until you both fall asleep

Marius:

Ahh yes Marius–this man is clingy and obsessive (in a good way) so the second you leave him on read along with only telling him through text that you ‘need some space’ he’s already at your front door, knocking on it

“MC! Honey, it’s me, please let me in,” He pleads loudly. (rip to the neighbors because he’d stand there all night until you decide to let him in)

Knowing how persistent he was, you force yourself up to unlock the door before plopping back down on your sofa, allowing him to let himself in

Thankfully Marius hears your lock click and opens the door himself, but he’s a little taken aback by the darkness in your home along with how freezing it was in there

He flicks on the light by the front door, which makes you flinch from the sudden brightness, and you find him running over to your side to embrace you as soon as he sees you’re only in a t-shirt and shorts in this freezing home

Your skin is as cold as ice as he tries his best to warm you up

“What’s going on? Why is it so cold in here and why did you leave me on read?” He pouts, not letting go of you

You do push him away slightly though despite how comforting and warm it was in his arms

“Nothing, I’m fine. I like the cold”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you were lying because you weren’t looking into his eyes

Marius inspects your condition one for time, and that’s when he notices the faint dark stains on your shirt–blood, it had to be, unless you were painting with red paint somewhere in your home, but that seemed highly unlikely

“Please let me in,” he says in a softer tone, going a little more serious

This pulls at your heart strings, Marius never got serious unless it came to his father’s company or when danger was around, but you clearly weren’t okay and that made him worry, so you decide to just open up to him

You tell him about your feelings, how you’ve been feeling really anxious and sad lately, and you also explain how you blocked him out because you didn’t want to be a burden to him

“If anyone’s a burden, it’s probably me, beautiful,” he sighs in relief, happy that he finally knows what’s been going on. “Of course filling my fathers place as CEO is a little stressful, but darling, time spent with you is my only time to be myself and to truly relax, even if that means hearing your worries and feelings. It’s my job as your boyfriend to protect you and keep you safe, but I’m failing at my job if you don’t let me in…”

He pulls you into his embrace as tears start to fall from your eyes

“Please let me be your shoulder to cry on, let me be the one who helps you feel alive, who helps you feel something. I’m your person, the one you’ll never feel alone with, just say the word and I’ll take all those burdens off your shoulders”

Slight relief fills you at his words…you really weren’t alone. These feelings didn’t have to feel as overwhelming as they did

After more hugs and a few kisses, Marius makes it his responsibility to clean your cuts up and press kisses to each of them

Afterwards, he’d order some takeout that you like as he offers you professional help if you thought you needed it (he wouldn’t force you, but he wants you to know that there are options and that was one of them) as someone big in the industry, he had many connections and he could find you the best psychiatrist in Stellis with the snap of a finger

But whatever choice you decide to make, just know that he’d support you through it all no matter what

Artem:

Intellectual Artem has a more direct approach to helping you out

He doesn’t pick up on you isolating yourself from him that quickly, because he’s always swamped with work, and you usually give him his space anyway when he’s busy

But one weekend when he had the day off and you didn’t reach out to him first, he was a little…sad? Disappointed? Something like that

He becomes worried and messages you but you only tell him you’re fine

Every message he sends after that gets left on read, so he then catches on that you are very clearly not fine

“You can be honest with me, MC. We’re lovers…I just want to be there for you. Please message me when you get the chance,” he messages you

Artem wanted to give you your space, but he was worried. Did he do something to you without even realizing that he upset you? Were you really okay? So his plan of giving you the weekend to yourself goes down the drain as he finds himself at your front door with some homemade food he cooked at his own home and packed for the two of you to enjoy

He knocks softly at your door and clears his throat, “It’s me, Artem” he announces himself, feeling a little awkward…what if he was just overreacting? He was still pretty new to the whole dating scene after all

However, as your disheveled self peeks through the slightly open door, he knows his fears weren’t for nothing

You don’t even get a chance to speak before he’s already opening the door fully and stepping into your home

The darkness of your home along with the freezing temperature hits him like a truck as he turns back to look at you, with furrowed brows…what exactly was going on?

The light from outside illuminates just bright enough where he can see what you’re wearing, a t-shirt and some shorts. You must’ve been freezing

Needing to change the environment around you both, he places the food down and helps you close the front door, opening up the blinds to let in some natural light along the way

Seeing one of your candles nearby, he lights one up and guides you to the couch where he places a blanket over you

He’s quietly studying you, trying to piece everything together, but this is a case he can’t entirely solve on his own

“MC…” he says, not really knowing where to start. “Is everything okay?”

Clearly everything was in fact not okay, and he did notice the blood stains on your shirt, but he decides to keep his observations to himself, you’d tell him if you wanted to

“I’m great. How are you? What brings you here?” You feign interest, you weren’t in the right headspace to have casual conversation

“I know you’re probably holding back and pretending to be okay because you think you’d be a burden to me. Trust me MC, I know how to read you well, you’re my partner after all. I’d be foolish to believe those lies. It’s okay though, I won’t push you to tell me, but just know that you aren’t a burden. You’re the only one I’ve let into my life and I just want to make sure you’re happy. As your man, it’s my job to make sure you’re doing well, and it seems like I dropped the ball, so for that I am truly sorry.”

Not wanting Artem to blame himself anymore, you decide to just tell him everything that’s been going on, from everything you’ve been feeling, and why you’ve been avoiding him, as well as informing him that you self-harmed

It wasn’t like you didn’t trust him, you did, you were just scared to lose him or have him not want to deal with the baggage you carried

Your body began to shake as you explained everything and Artem quietly listened to each word, scooting closer to you as you spoke, so he could hold you, in an attempt to calm your nerves and ease your shakes

“I see…I’m sorry for not noticing sooner. Though work takes up a lot of my time, you’ll always be my number one priority. I’ll do better. I promise,” he sighs, holding you tighter to him as if you’d disappear from his grasp

Even if you reassure him that it isn’t his fault, Artem takes this very seriously and would work more on checking in on you throughout his day, no matter how busy he is

“I know you’re going through a tough time right now. I’m not sure how I can be truly helpful other than just giving you my support, but we can look for a professional's help as well if that's something you’d like to do…” He brings one of your hands up to his lips and leaves a lingering kiss to your skin, “You’re not alone, never. It’s okay to reach out for help when you need it. You can reach out to me anytime, even if you just need to hear my voice. I’ll always make time for you MC, I love you. I promise we’ll get through this together”

After everything, and once you’re a lot calmer, he’d put on a movie for you both to watch as you eat the food he brought, making a mental note to check out your wounds later on, but for now he’d try to keep things bright and hopefully distract you, even if it was just momentarily

He does take a few days off of work so he can stay by your side and give you the support you need as you decide what step you want to take next

Vyn:

Nothing slides by Vyn, this is his specialty after all

You and Vyn frequently got together to drink tea and just talk about life or go on walks at a nearby park, Vyn always made time for you at the end of his day after seeing patients all day

So when you text him to cancel your plans one evening, he already knows something is up

“Something came up, I can’t go out this week. I’ll text you when I can,” you message him

“I am coming over,” he responds immediately, pulling his things together as he heads to you

Though he does have a spare key to your place, he doesn’t use it, knowing that suddenly invading your space, especially when something was obviously going on with you, wouldn’t be a great idea

“Darling, mind letting me in? I would like to speak with you if that is alright,” he speaks calmly through the door, knowing you were probably expecting him and listening on the other side somewhere

It takes a while. It’s silent, which worries Vyn as he debates whether he should just let himself in, but his worries vanish as soon as he hears your lock click open and the door slowly creaks as you open it

“My love,” Vyn whispers, eyeing the darkness behind you as a chill hits his face from the open door, but he keeps a smile on his face, needing to remain calm and not act shocked or alarmed which could potentially scare you off or have you close your heart to him, “Can I come in?”

You nod softly and open your door wider so he can come in, you were expecting him anyway since he said he’d be over soon

Vyn is still in his doctor coat which he slings over your shoulders, noticing you’re only wearing shorts and a t-shirt when you had the ac on blast. It was freezing in your home

He turns on a small lamp, not wanting to blind you with the bright light of the room, but needing to change the feel of your home subtly

Taking a seat on your couch, he pats the spot beside him, eyeing your bloody shirt until you’re seated

“May I?” he asks, gesturing to your shirt and whether he could see the damage you made. You knew there was no hiding things from Vyn. He was used to this and probably already knew what was going on, so you hesitantly nod, sighing in defeat as you begin to shake

You were scared of what he’d say or think about you after seeing your fresh cuts…

Vyn gently lifts your shirt and takes in the sight of your cuts with a neutral expression, then walks away to get some supplies to bandage you up so they don’t get infected

When he returns with a first aid kit, he quietly and softly cleans you up before speaking again

“I am all ears if you would like to say what led you to do this? And before you say it, no you are not a burden, no I am not upset, and no I do not hate you, darling. I am still very much in love with you despite how much it pains me to see you hurt yourself like this. I would just like to understand from your perspective if you would let me in,” he smiles softly, ready to hear you out

And as if he had some kind of magic pull on you, you find yourself revealing everything to him, from the complicated emotions and episodes you’ve gone through for the past few days, to how it all led to you eventually harming yourself, so you could feel something for once…something other than your depression and anxiety

He understood now, from your isolation, to the state of your home, and your desire to feel something, hence why it was so cold in your home and why you were wearing shorts despite how cold it was. All the pieces started to come together in his head

Vyn takes your hand in his now that he finished treating your cuts, he laces your fingers together as he speaks, “I first want you to know that what you are feeling is normal. It happens to a lot of people who are not aware of how to properly cope with these intense feelings. Depression and anxiety are more common than you think, but perhaps taking matters into your own hands caused you to feel worse?”

“Perhaps,” you nod, agreeing with his words. This was something you always tried to deal with on your own, which is why you tried to isolate yourself in the first place, you didn’t want to drag anyone else into your problems, you felt this was your own burden to carry

“Now…speaking not as a psychiatrist, but as your boyfriend, I want to say I care about you more than anything in this world. You are the light of my life, the one and only person I look forward to seeing everyday, so please do not lock me out of your heart, darling. It is my actual job and my duty as your lover to ensure you are okay. But you can count on me to help you through this if you would allow it”

Whether you take his help or not, he’d still show you his love and support for whatever decision you make

After a few hugs and more chatting, Vyn would make you some tea to calm you down

He’d squeeze you into his business day if you choose to seek counseling with him…after all he’s the only person he’d trust to truly help you through this

Through the good and the bad, Vyn will always remain by your side and hear you out, even with your smallest issues

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 7/18/2023

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year

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Pairing : Yandere!Lee Minho x F!Reader TW : yandere themes ; reader is in a depressive state ; manipulative behavior ; smut ; public PiV intercourse without protection (wrap it before you tap it folks) ; exhibitionism ; let me know if there's more!! Word Count : 4.7k Request : @whatudowhennooneseesyou Okay, I need a pt. 3 to yandere lee know. What if he notices the reader is experiencing depression from being able to leave the house or do anything? And he's desperate to make you happy. Of course, please it smutty, needy & possessive. Thank you xx A/N : Of course of course!! The yandere Lee Know request series is my favorite to write!! (technically this is part 4 because part 3 was the shower sex one) Thank you for all your wonderful requests, and please do not hesitate to send in more!! You're the best!

Rain trickled down the glass panes of the windows, your eyes focused solely on one that seemed to fall behind the rest, inching its way along while the others had already reached the bottom, pooling on the sill outside before falling down to the sidewalk. It inched, and it inched, and inside your head you were cheering for it, you wanted it to win, even if it wouldn’t make it until last, it would at least make it where it needed to go. Moving and moving until… It got swallowed up by another droplet of rain, completely disappearing until all that was left was the bigger drop that rushed down the window and beat every other drop that had landed before it.

You knew what it was like to be swallowed up completely, to just become a part of somebody else whether they truly needed you or not. In the long run, everyone was racing to get the sill… to get to the end, everyone was going to end up the same way, much like the drops of rain that hit the ground. Was it really important for the one drop to swallow the one you had your eye on, did it really help? Did Minho really need you, or did it just feed his desire for authority, to be completely in control of you and everything you did?

It had been months since you left the house, but only a couple weeks since the falling out with him where he had laid his hands on you in a way that had left you feeling broken and unwanted, even by him… He had apologized, he had made it up to you, but he still didn’t let you leave, and you were stuck in a vicious cycle of fighting, silence, and then sex… As if that would make up for all the damage he was doing.

In his mind, sex was all he needed to give you to make up for being an asshole. Whisper in a few I’m sorry’s and you’re so beautiful’s, and everything should be good as new. If you didn’t forgive him by the time he pulled out, it would only relight that rage inside of him and it would spur up another argument that would end just the same as the one before.

“Darling?” Minho whispered, his cold hands coming down on your shoulders, freezing you through your skin, deep into your bones, but you didn’t shudder, you didn’t shiver, you didn’t want him to know that you knew he was there. “What’s outside that window that you keep looking at?” He hummed, sitting beside you on the bed, his eyes trying to find whatever yours might be locked into.

The thing is though, you weren’t looking at any one thing in particular, you were just… looking. “Life…” You murmured, never tearing your eyes away from the fogged window, littered in streaks of rain and racing droplets. “The world… People… Everything.” You continued, and you could feel Minhos body tense up beside you. Obviously that wasn’t what someone like him wanted to hear. The yearning in your voice was obvious, the craving to be free.

“Don’t be silly. You have all of that in here. Are you living?” He didn’t give you time to respond, mainly because he knew that whatever response you might give him would probably be sarcastic. “You are, you’re alive in here. You’re a part of the world just by living in it, so therefore, the world is here too. You have people here, and that’s me… You have a person, and that should be all you need.”

Fighting, that’s what would happen if you disagreed with him, so you simply nodded, your entire body falling over onto the bed to rest your head against the pillow, your eyes still focused on the window though. “Yes.” Was all you said, not even bothering to get the blankets out from underneath you, instead grabbing Minhos end and folding it over yourself.

Things were worse than he thought they would be. No matter how much he apologized for the slap, you had changed, and you hadn’t been the same since. He could tell that you were spiraling, you were sinking into a depression that he feared he wouldn’t be able to save you from. You didn’t fight with him anymore, you just agreed with everything he said, and while he hated arguing with you, the lack of arguing scared him.

How much did he love you? Sometimes he even asked himself that question. Clearly he loved you a lot because he put up with a lot from you, but did that really qualify as loving someone, or was it simply tolerating? You rarely asked for anything, and when you did, he’d tell you no… And while he was doing it for your own good, and maybe because he selfishly just didn’t want to give you what you wanted, he knew that there would come a time when he had to say yes, or lose you.

It seemed like he was losing you already though, and he feared the worst, and during one worry filled morning, he had taken everything that you might be able to hurt yourself with and tossed it in the garbage, gotten it all out of the apartment completely. Sure, he still had you… But you weren’t really you. You were just a fragment of the girl that he had loved.

“I’m gonna take a day off work tomorrow. How does that sound?” He asked, his hand absentmindedly rubbing up and down your thigh. Usually you’d pull away from his touch, or get flustered and hide your face in your pillow… But there was no reaction, you just continued to stare out the window, a soft hum of indifference sounding from somewhere inside you although your lips were drawn tightly shut. “Get some sleep, darling. I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Taking the day off would usually mean just spending the day inside, and he himself was perfectly content with doing that, but he knew that you needed more, you needed to go outside or that small fragment that was left of you would be gone as well. He needed to bite the bullet, he needed to give you what you needed and deal with whatever might come later on.

“Good morning, darling.” He cooed, pulling open the curtains that he had shut the night before, hoping that your lack of outside visuals would get you out of bed, but it only made you fall asleep. Now that the curtains were drawn, your eyes were right back to being glued on nothing and everything all at once. “Do you want to get out of bed today?” Your head shook to his question, your hands pulling the blanket up higher around your face until all that was visible were your eyes. “Oh? Such a shame… There was this really nice restaurant that I wanted to take you to, and I thought we could take a walk or something.”

The bait was set, and he saw your eyes momentarily shift from the window to look over at him, doubt etched in every single line of your irises. You didn’t believe him, and why should you? He had never offered to take you out before, so why would he start now? “Why?” Was all you could say, all you could ask. You didn’t trust him, not as far as you could throw him, and the offer actually scared you.

“Because you want to go outside, and… Well… You’ve been very good and… I think that calls for some kind of reward. Don’t you?” The thought of taking you outside scared the living shit out of him. How many people would look at you, stare at you, try to talk to you? What if you told them that he had kidnapped you, that he was holding you captive… Which would be the biggest lie ever, he wasn’t doing anything like that… He just didn’t like to let you leave.

Those thoughts almost had him backing out, turning away from the plan, but the way you jumped out of the bed… You were smiling… It was the first sign of life he had seen in your eyes in so long, it was the first time you actually looked at him, looked at anything but that damn window. “Oh, Minho! You’re the best!” You squealed, and he was thrown off guard when your body crashed against his own, your arms wrapping around him and your face buried in his chest. “I love you… Thank you…”

Was this… all it took? All he had to do was… swallow his own pride once every blue moon…. And you’d love him like this? You’d willingly hug him like this? “Of course, my darling. Anything for you.” He murmured, his arms instantly wrapping around you and holding you close. “Dress warmly, okay? It’s quite cold outside, I wouldn’t want you to fall ill.” He said before placing a kiss to the top of your head, and you were so eager, nodding quickly up to him before rushing over to the closet and pulling out something to wear.

His hand was tightly wrapped around yours as he walked down the street, and while it felt like walking on shards of glass for him, your steps were light, almost bouncy as you looked around. Your finger would point at storefront windows, and he’d take a mental picture of all the things you seemed to like so that he could buy them for you, gift them to you whenever you thought he acted out of line. “It’s so nice out here… Are you having fun?” You posed the question, and truthfully, this was not fun for him, this was not fun at all. It felt like the entire male population was looking at you, trying to steal you away from him, it made him sick, it made him angry.

“Mmhm… I’m having fun as long as you are, darling.” His voice was strained, but you were too enamored by the outside world to notice. You squeezed his hand tighter before pulling him over to one of the store windows, pointing out one of the shiny bracelets that were on display. “Do you like that one, darling? Just let me know and I can get it for you.”

Your head shook as you continued to look at it, your eyes practically glued to the piece of jewelry. “I just thought it was pretty. You don’t have to get it. I was just looking.” You smiled sweetly up to him, brushing your thumb across his before starting to move again. “We should get to the restaurant soon before the tables are taken. It’s almost lunch time.” You mused, and he nodded along, letting you pull him wherever you wanted to go, but not before taking one last mental picture of the bracelet you had pointed out. He’d get it for you as an anniversary gift, or a birthday gift, or just a gift to let you know he loved you.

The wait for the restaurant wasn’t as long as you thought it would be, but that was only because he was who he was, and the two of you were given a table in the back, far away from everyone else. “Is this okay for you?” Minho asked, pulling out your chair for you before the waiter could. “Do you want to be out in the main area?” His fingers tapped against your shoulders as you sat down, shaking your head slowly as he pushed your chair in. “Good. We can have more privacy back here.” He murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your temple before going to his own chair.

Minho loved seeing you in his home, in his room, in his bed, in his clothes, he loved seeing you in any and every way that would show him that you were his, but what he realized he loved to see even more was the beautiful smile that was on your face the entire day. He loved having you close to him, and you didn’t try anything, you didn’t talk to anyone, you would only look at him and whatever was interesting that caught your eye. You were solely his, and it took taking you out of the apartment for him to really grasp that.

Of course, his mood couldn’t stay light for long, not when the two of you were surrounded by people who didn’t seem to understand how a relationship worked. Or maybe they just didn’t care for relationships, at least they didn’t care for other people's relationships. He tried to keep his cool, he really did, but it was becoming harder by the second and he was like a ticking time bomb, it would only be a matter of time before he exploded.

It wasn’t time at all that had his anger and rage combusting though, it was one single action played out by the foolish waiter. One hand was all it took, one hand placed on your shoulder, the way the waiter's fingers seemed to squeeze, the uncomfortable look on your face when you looked at Minho… All he saw was red, and in an instant he had pushed himself away from the table, the movement causing the drinks to tip and spill over. You gasped loudly, pushing your own chair back and standing up, revealing your pants to be stained by the liquids that had run over the edge of the table. “Don’t worry, let me help you.” The waiter said, pulling napkins from his apron, but Minho pushed him back, wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you away.

“He just wanted to touch you, he wanted to take you away from me… Disgusting… People are absolutely filthy. Can they not see that you’re mine?!” He ranted and raved as he led you to the bathroom, pushing open the door and practically shoving you inside. “You’re all mine… You know that, right darling?” Minho mumbled to himself as he pushed the door shut, locking it behind him.

“O-Of course I know that… Wha-What are you doing?” You whispered as he stalked towards you, like a hunter would stalk its prey, until you were trapped between him and the counter top, his hands caging you in as he pressed himself against you. “Minho…” You whispered, a flustered mess, giggling nervously as you tried to move away from him, but he only pressed further against you.

You were practically sitting on the counter at this point, pinned, nowhere to go. “They don’t know that though… They don’t respect that.” He mumbled, his hands moving from the surface of the counter to grab your hips, his fingers digging into the knitted fabric of the sweater. “This is why I can’t take you out. Everyone wants to take you away from me. Need to show them that you’re mine, kitten… I’ll let them hear you… I want them to hear you.”

Although your head was shaking, he could tell by the way your thighs squeezed together, the way your eyes seemed to sparkle, you were excited by the thought of him taking you in such a place, the thought of potentially being caught by someone. “We can uh… We can just go home…” You tried to persuade weakly, but your arms were draped over his shoulders and you weren’t really trying to move away anymore. You wanted this… And he needed it.

“Such a cute little kitten… come here…” He mused, his hand sliding up your back to grab the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling you closer to him, his lips just barely grazing against your own as he yanked your head back, reveling in the soft whimper you let out. “Don’t you want everyone to know that you belong to me? Aren’t you happy to be with me?” He quizzed as he dragged his lips down to your neck, kissing one particular spot he knew drove you wild, and then biting down on it lightly, sucking at the sensitive skin, his cock growing hard just from the moans that he was eliciting from you.

“Mmhm… I am… Minho…” You whined, your own fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him back, the motion causing a pop to sound out in the bathroom when his lips disconnected from your skin. “B-But we shouldn’t… Not here…” You whispered, your chest rising and falling heavily as you stared at him with parted lips, glistening in the flickering fluorescent lights.

“Please, kitten…” It was a first to hear him beg like this, his fingers kneading into your hips as he tried to pull you closer to him. “I just really need you right now… I need to know that you’re mine… That no one else gets to have you but me.” His head hung low as it shook, his hair brushing against your face as he let out a heavy sigh. “I take you out… Just like you wanted… And all I want is this, you… You don’t know how hard it is for me. I see all these other men looking at you… It scares me… What if they take you away from me?”

Now, deep down, you knew this was a way of manipulation, a way for him to get just what he wanted. It was a new form of manipulation, one that was brought about from the events of the day, and while you weren’t a fan of any type of manipulation in any way, you found this form of it strangely endearing. It almost sounded like he was going to cry, his voice breaking at different moments just to really get to you, and you hated the fact that it was working so well. “Minho…” You whispered, your hand hesitantly reaching up to cup his cheek. “I’m yours… you don’t have to worry. Maybe we can… just… make it quick… so we don’t get caught…” He had you right where he wanted you, and you could feel cheeks pulling up from the smirk he was hiding with his head still hung low. He was a great actor, a master manipulator, and you fell for it every single time.

In an instant you were pulled off the counter and quickly turned around, his hand gently pushing against your upper back to bend you over the counter. “See what you do to me, kitten?” He groaned lowly as he rubbed against you, you could feel how hard he was through his jeans, and you were disgusted with yourself when you felt that all too familiar tingle in your stomach. “Only you make me feel like this, and…” His hands moved around your waist to undo the button of your pants before yanking them down, the sudden exposure in such a public place had you nervous but so excited at the same time. “I know that you’re feeling the same way, aren’t you?” He slipped his fingers between the waistband of your panties, gliding one of his digits between your slit and humming softly when he felt just how wet you really were. “What a naughty kitten… Trying to pretend like she doesn’t want to be fucked for the whole restaurant to hear. That’s what you want though, isn’t it?”

Dammit. No matter how much your mind told you it was a bad idea, you just couldn’t deny him, couldn't deny yourself of what you truly wanted, and at the end of every day, no matter how horrible it might be, what you truly wanted was him. “Y-Yes… please Minho…” You whimpered, pushing your ass back against him which had him letting out a shaky breath, his fingers digging into the skin of your hips to hold you still.

“Good kitten.” His hands slid down to your ass, delivering a light smack to the plump skin, the sound resonating in the tiny room. “I’ll fuck you dumb, until all you can think about is my cock. You belong to me, kitten. Everyone needs to know that. Why can’t people just… understand that.” His tone went from taunting to irritated, and you braced yourself against the counter, trying to grip onto the edges when you felt the thin material of your panties being peeled off of you, his movements slow as he moved them down your thighs to pool against your ankles along with your pants.

Minho was impatient, but he wanted to relish in the excitement of the moment, a moment that he knew wouldn’t come again for a very long time. He didn’t like taking you out, but there was something so exhilarating about doing this here. You hadn’t even heard his own pants come undone, and maybe it was because you were so focused on the sounds coming from the other side of the locked door, waiting to hear someone try to come in, but your train of thought and all your focus was derailed as soon as you felt the tip of his cock pushing against the tight entrance of your cunt.

Your face was quickly buried in your arm, your mouth pressed into the crook of your elbow to muffle your gasp as you felt yourself slowly being stretched by him. “Now now, kitten, I said I wanted everyone to hear you… Not just me.” He scolded, gripping your hair and gently yanking it to pull your head up, the action causing you to moan loudly as your walls tightened around him. “There we go… It wasn’t that hard, was it kitten?”

Fuck, he was so hot, the way one corner of his lips pulled up into the sexiest smirk, his hair shadowing his lust filled eyes, turning them darker than they usually are. It was easier to get over the humiliation of potentially getting caught when you’d be caught with him. “Keep… keep moving, Minho…” You begged in the most pathetic soft voice when he bottomed out and then stilled.

“Tell me who you belong to, I want to know that you know.” He demanded, his hips only slightly beginning to move, although you were sure that it was only due to his lack of patience. “Who’s the only one who gets to fuck you like this?” He questioned further, and you whined loudly at the sudden pop quiz that was keeping you from feeling him thrust into you the way you both wanted.

“You! I’m all yours Minho! Please, fuck me.” You wiggled your ass back against him, watching his eyes roll back and his tongue dart along his bottom lip before his head fell forward, his eyes locking with yours in the reflection of the mirror. The look was absolutely menacing, and you would have been scared if you weren’t 100% sure he’d never hurt you again.

His fingers locked tightly around your hips, his nails digging into your skin, causing you to wince as he held you in place. “No moving, kitten. I’ve already rewarded you with a day out… Now I’m getting my reward. I’m gonna take my time with you.” Of course that’s what he was going to do, and as you rolled your eyes with annoyance, he pulled his hips back and suddenly slammed them forward with full force, your stomach being pressed against the edge of the counter was painful, but that feeling was quickly nullified by the pure pleasure Minho was bringing you.

With the constant ramming of his hips against you, his cock being pushed deeper into you with each thrust, your mind was becoming hazy. You couldn’t remember where you were, and you didn’t even care, all you could think about was how amazing Minho felt, the sounds of his low breathy moans filling and strings of curses that were mumbled under his breath filling your ears and those sounds alone could have brought you to the edge. “Fuck… you’re so good… feel so good… I love you…”

You were mumbling out the only things that came to your mind as you feebly tried to grip onto the flat counter surface. Your moans were getting louder, mingled in with whimpers and whines, gasps and incoherent jumbled nonsense. Minhos cock twitched with every slurred utterance of his name, and he could feel his heart racing, adrenaline coursing through his veins at the mere thought that anyone could come in at any moment and find the two of you like this. He wouldn’t stop though, he’d keep fucking you until your cum covered his cock and his cum filled your throbbing cunt.

“Love you too, kitten…” He murmured back, leaning in to press a quick kiss to the center of your back. “Keep being loud for me… keep telling me how good I feel, you know how much it turns me on.” And you did, god, Minho got such an ego boost whenever you praised him. “You feel amazing too… so fucking wet… so warm…” He was practically purring at this point.

The sudden knock on the bathroom door had you covering your mouth, looking at Minho through the mirror, but he only smiled wider, his hands moving from your hips to grab your wrists and hold them behind your back, pulling you up into a standing position in the process. He really wasn’t going to stop. “M-Minho… They’re gonna-“

“See us?” He completed your sentence, continuing to thrust into you as his free hand trailed down the center of your stomach, and you already knew where that trail ended, and the thought of it had your stomach twisting into knots. “Let them, want them to see how beautiful you look when you’re shaking and cumming all over my cock, kitten.”

A sound of keys jingling had you tensing up, your walls tightening around him in an attempt to get him to stop, but then his fingers began their assault on the sensitive bud, rolling quick circles with the pads of two of his fingers. Your head rolled back, falling against his shoulders as your breaths came out more rapidly, your legs shaking and threatening to give out as he continued, your whines growing louder as you felt your orgasm coming closer.

“Cum for me, kitten… come on…” He urged, kissing along your neck as his fingers somehow became faster, his hips rocking slowly but each thrust had the tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot. “Let them see you, watch how you fall apart…” He cooed, and with one more roll of his hips into you, you were pushed over the edge, your eyes losing focus as the door to the bathroom flew open.

Not even the sound of whoever it was that had caught you could bring you back down from the world's greatest high, and your pulsating walls had Minho cumming just as hard, loud grunts breathed out beside your ear as he held tightly onto you to hold you steady. “You do so good for me, kitten… so perfect…” He sighed, finally looking over at the man that was standing like a statue, eyes wide as he stared at the two of you. “Isn’t my darling beautiful?” Minho mused, brushing your hair away from your face, and only then did you feel the rush of heat from your embarrassment consume your entire body. “Don’t look at her. I didn’t tell you to look.” Minho continued, turning you away from the man who was staring, slowly pulling out of you and helping you pull up your own pants before doing the same with his own.

“Y-You’re not allowed back in here! I should call the cops!” The man shouted once the two of you were fully dressed again, and Minho only chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist as he walked you to the door, only stopping to pull a couple bills out of his wallet and press them against the man's chest.

“Don’t worry, we weren’t planning on coming back anyway.” Minho retorted, moving you further out the door until you were on your way out of the restaurant, the cold air feeling much more chilled against your sweat covered, flushed skin. “Shall we go home now, darling? Or would you like to see if we can find somewhere else to have some fun?”

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fawnfictions · 8 months

Note

are you still receiving requests? if yes, can i ask for the monkey boys (separately) with a tsundere s/o?

like, their love language is acts of service and gifts so they often cleans the boys’ things and buy them things that they heard they would like to have? and they just look away and shrugs like telling they had nothing better to do or ‘whatever’... also touch starved! they get hyper flustered and cute when receiving touch or affection in general but secretly wants more.

uh, whatever...

— macaque & wukong x gn!reader

wasn't sure if 'monkey boys' included MK or not—if it does!! feel free to send in another ask and i'll do another for him, too :))

;; romantic, fluff, no warnings? tsundere behaviour.

MACAQUE

- he would find this behaviour very cute.

- likes to tease you a lot for it, revelling in your flustered state and whines, trying and failing to deny his flirtatious words.

- he's lowkey glad that you struggle with handling physical affection, because it distracts you from the fact that he can't handle it, either.

- people around you two, staring with deadpan expressions as you whine and fluster at Macaque placing an arm over you shoulder, pulling you close to himself as a bright red blush covers his face, unable to make eye contact with anyone.

- you'll both be awkwardly reaching for each others touches and attention, touch-starved but struggling to handle the feeling.

- eventually, you both work it out, though—he gets a lot more confident and cockier with his advances and flirts, and you get a little more used to it, while still flustering.

- honestly, Macaque is quite lazy in nature, and with the occasional depressive episode he puts himself through because of his past, his places tend to get a little... messy, to put it lightly.

- although he may not show it, you cleaning up after him REALLY helps his mental health, and he appreciates it more than he can possibly admit.

- genuinely, though, if he comes home after a long day to find that you've cleaned his belongings and furniture, he won't be able to stop himself from falling in love even more.

- depending on his mood, he'll either kiss you on the spot and force you to relax on the couch with him, or he'll discreetly show his gratitude through an expensive gift somehow turning up amongst your things, or that one restaurant you've been craving arriving at your front door.

- but, if you get him a gift in return, he'll feel bad.

- Macaque isn't used to people buying stuff for him, especially as often as you do, so he's constantly trying to convince you to not waste your money/time on him, or is getting you a gift of similar expenses in return.

- keep it up and keep insisting that he deserves it, he'll eventually get used to it and won't feel as bad or undeserving of it all.

- he honestly adores your stubborn nature.

- Macaque loves that you usually have a response to his witty comebacks, or that you at least try to fight him on it.

- he likes the fire inside you, and is constantly adding to it with the intention to purposefully rile you up.

- sometimes, he may take it too far, though.

- once he realises he upset you, he'll feel really bad about it and will do just about anything to gain your forgiveness.

- in all honesty, he fucking sucks at apologies.

- but he'll try his best, stuttering over his words and giving you a peace offering in the form of a cute plushie or a sugar snack that he knows you like.

- "a-ah, i'm... sugarplum, i'm sorry—i didn't mean it. could you, uh, can you forgive me?"

- just tell him you do and give him a big ol' smooch and his tail will be wagging happily.

- he'll still tease you, though, just for the fun of it; but, he learns your limits and boundaries, and makes sure not to cross them again.

WUKONG

- this man is also guilty of teasing you a lot.

- it's practically his love language, other than physical touch.

- he can't get enough of the look on your face when he flusters you, making himself blush in the process due to the extent of his love for you.

- it's not too difficult to fluster him back, though.

- he'll take any of your physical affections in stride, but isn't as used to someone flirting back at him, or pulling any... 'spicy' gestures on him.

- be warned, though, if you even TRY to do this, whether you succeed or not, he'll reverse it back onto you later, when you least expect it, to get his revenge.

- he's really good at seeing past your exterior personality, and understanding the true way you genuinely feel about things.

- he's thanking you for something, and you say, "whatever... i didn't do it for you, anyways."

- in reality, he knows the micro-expressions you make show that you're happy he appreciates your work, and the blush on your face solidifies this for him :))

- when he first met you, your reaction to his physical touches and affection made him back off a bit, assuming you genuinely didn't like it.

- but, later on, he realises that you lean closer to him whenever he's nearby, and that your hand trails after his when passing an object to each other.

- it makes his heart flutter to recognise that you do want his affections, you're just stand-offish and reserved in your own way.

- he's a lot more physical with you after that, cherishing his moments with you and finding your nervous reactions fun.

- he appreciates your acts of service and gifts, but he'd much rather spend time with you and enjoy the smaller things.

- he's Sun Wukong! the man already has plenty of objects and presents, its a problem, if anything.

- although, he won't leave your gifts in his hoarding piles, no, no—they've got their own place, where he won't lose them and the monkeys won't find them and destroy anything.

- as a compromise, though, he'll simply do these things with you!

- if you're getting him a gift, he'll go shopping with you! or will keep you company/offer help if its something that you make yourself.

- if you're cleaning around the mountain (good luck getting through the hoarding piles), he'll do it with you! helping sort things into piles, or taking out the trash—he just wants to spend time with you :(

- you'll probably yell at him for it... if he can help you clean, why can't he clean it HIMSELF???

- this is lowkey hypocritical of him, though, he likes buying you gifts a lot, especially if its Monkey King themed; he'll buy anything that reminds him of you (which is a lot, considering you're almost constantly on his mind).

#lego monkie kid #lmk #sun wukong #monkey king #six eared macaque #macaque #macaque x reader #sun wukong x reader #monkey king x reader #— fawns fics #headcanons #fluff

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loveaj · 2 years

Text

The Lake

pairing: fem!reader x austin butler

word count: 2.8k

warnings: depictions of depression, sappy love confessions

summary: after bad news comes your way your best friend austin takes you out to the your favorite spot in hopes of lifting your spirit, and showing you that life doesn’t always go as planned and that it might be better that way.

a/n: i apologize for this being as short as it is. i was originally going to make it longer and add smut, but i decided to combine my ideas for this into another fic i’m working on so stay tuned!! really loving friends to lovers atm so don’t be surprised if quite a few of my works entail that trope. i like how this turned out so i hope you like it too!! 💗

Three weeks, 4 days, and 8 hours is how long it had been since you had received quite possibly the worst news of your life. It had thrown a wrench in the future you had dreamed of for yourself. All you’d ever wished for was taken away in five simple words ‘we regret to inform you…’ The moment your brain processed what you had read it had felt like a rug was pulled out from under you. The instant drop of your heart sent you into shock. It felt like your life had become a stand still, you were trapped in the moment your world shattered. You worked so hard over countless sleepless nights spent perfecting every assignment you were given. It was all for nothing.

Of course your best and let’s face it only friend Austin had been with you when you received the unfortunate news. The aftermath had gone as follows, you crying in his lap for 20 minutes, the after shock setting in, causing you to tell him to leave, and finally yelling and slamming your bedroom door in his face watching his gaze falter through your teary eyes. Of course you knew it had nothing to do with him, it wasn’t his fault, if anything he made you a better student over the years. Always there to help you study or give you homework answers, even going as far as letting you cheat off his tests when you were placed in the same class together. But you were too angry with the world to face anyone else and run the risk of saying something you didn’t mean. Maybe this is why I only have one friend. you thought, that was if Austin even wanted to be your friend after your blow up.

It had been roughly 3 weeks since Austin had heard from you in any capacity and it worried him absolutely sick. After calling you nonstop for a week with no response he decided it was best to give you your space. As selfish as it seemed Austin just wished he could go back to the moment you were curled up in his lap, crying into his shoulder staining his shirt with your snot and tears. He wished he could go back to the moment and grip your face and kiss your tear strained cheeks, he wished he could go back and tell you everything thought that grazed his mind. How everything would be okay, how much you were destined for more, for greatness, how much of a hold you’d had on his heart since the second he saw you all those years ago.

You’d met Austin on your first day of middle school, him being the new kid and spotting you sitting in the cafeteria all alone staring into the abyss eating an apple. He stood there for a moment taking in your features while you were in a natural state of being. Feeling as though he had no better option he’d taken the chance and sat down next to you. You’d paid him no mind and after failing to gain the courage to spark up a conversation, Austin opted to take out his book and read it in defeat. Minutes went by, the sound of you munching away on your apple drowning out the numerous conversations going on around you.

You awkwardly looked over at the boy you’d never seen before. People normally didn’t come your way at school, so based on that and the fact that he was so unfamiliar, you’d come to the conclusion that he was a new kid. You peered over his shoulder to see what book he was reading.

“Oh, Harry Potter? bleh,” you said turning back to your food.

Austin was taken aback by your comment and particularly by your boldness. “Excuse me?” he replied.

“Sorry, it’s just I’m sick of everybody obsessing over it. It’s all my brother and sister talk about these days,” you said switching to a more friendly tone.

“Well, have you ever read any of them?” he asked holding out the book to you. You took it examining the cover.

“No, I was kind of turned off by the whole thing being everywhere,” you admitted turning the book over to read the description on the back.

“Wait!” Austin said grabbing the book from your hands.

“What the heck man!” you said, confusion plastered all over your face.

“It’s just that this one is the third book, so if you read the back then you could get it spoiled,” he explained.

“That makes more sense,” you said nodding your head. “Are they really as good as they say?” you asked.

“They are pretty awesome,” he told you.

“Maybe I’ll read them sometime,” you said. “Probably not though.”

“I like your honesty,” Austin said as you hoped he couldn’t see the flush of your cheeks. “I’m Austin,” he said holding out his hand for you to shake.

“Y/N.” You reached over grabbing his hand, making note of the way his blue eyes sparkled when he smiled at you.

It had become a routine everyday for you two to meet at the same spot in the cafeteria, sharing giggles as you tried your best to finish your meals in the short time you were given to eat. Everyday you watched Austin’s eyes shine while he smiled fully at you, and everyday Austin become more mesmerized by your drive to be great. When summer had finally came neither of you were brave enough to ask the other for a phone number. It had brought many lonely days for both of you, that was until you’d both been dragged grocery shopping with either of your mothers. All it took was a double take in the cereal isle and your summer had taken a turn for the better.

Nowadays it was rare for you to go longer than a day without seeing him. Although it caused a hole in your heart begin to form you didn’t have the courage to pick up the phone. The truth was you were embarrassed about how you had acted out. The fact that Austin had officially seen you at your worst and he’d still flooded your messages scared you.

After almost a month of no contact Austin decided it was time to go make sure you were okay. He knew you didn’t die of course, but he was sure you had felt like your life was over. He recalled all of the times you brought up going to school where your parents had met, where you brother and sister currently attended. You’d cared so much so to apply early, but looking back in your eyes all it did was end your life sooner.

Lying on your bed you stared out your bedroom window. You were wearing the same clothes as 4 days ago, still barely bothering to move. You closed your eyes trying your best not to think as you heard a knock on your door.

“What do you want?” you asked assuming it was your mom. Your breath hitched as you realized it was in fact not your mother, but Austin walking through your door. You were too exhausted to be embarrassed by your appearance, still shoving your head into the pillow on account of how you’d left off with him. “Look I’m sorry, I was just upset okay?”you muffled through the pillow.

“I’m not here looking for an apology Y/N,” he said sitting down at the foot of your bed. You felt his hands grabbing you, turning you over to face him. “Are you okay?” Austin asked taking your hand. His blue eyes bore into yours, his kindhearted gaze sent a shiver down your spine.

“I don’t know,” you choked out, now on the verge of tears. “You’re not mad at me?” you questioned pulling his hand to your chest gripping it tight. You saw him frown through your teary eyes.

“No Y/N, I was worried, I mean I still am,” Austin told you. “I know it feels like it but it’s not the end of the world. You will be okay, maybe you are destined for more,” he said pushing you knotted hair away from your face.

“Thank you,” you said, your face felt hot at his comment. It also plagued a new self awareness. “I feel so gross right now so I’d really appreciate it if you’d give me some time to shower and change.”

“Actually, you’re coming with me. You have to leave the house, you’re mom said she was scared you’d melt into your bed if you didn’t get out soon,” he said as if you didn’t have a choice in the matter.

“Of course she did,” you scoffed rolling your eyes. “We can go anywhere you’d like, but I would at least like a chance to not be a disgusting mess first,” you pleaded.

“Fine, twenty minutes and then we are out of here,” Austin agreed kicking back on your bed as you got up and picked out a change of clothes.

Now showered and changed, you combed through your wet hair. “So what’s the plan?” you asked Austin sitting down on your bed next to him.

“You’re actually gonna need this where we’re going,” he replied holding up your pink flower bikini.

“When did you get that?” you asked snatching it from his fingertips as he let out a laugh.

“You don’t think I know where you keep everything? Y/N I know everything about you,” he said flatly. You reluctantly got up to go and change not wanting to feed more into his delusions. “You can’t just walk away and think that will change anything,” Austin shouted as you left the room. He infuriated you sometimes.

You walked out of the bathroom, your swimsuit on and ready to go get whatever Austin had planned over with so you could get back to where you left off rotting in your bed. Storming into your bedroom you grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your house and to his car.

“Why in such a rush?” he asked, starting his car with confusion apparent on his face.

“Just eager to get the hell out of there,” you exhaled using an enthusiastic tone despite being anything but.

Austin drove away from your house shaking his head. After taking note of the turns he was taking you knew exactly where he was driving to.

You had found the spot years ago and ever since some of your best and worst moments took place there. Austin was of course by your side in each and everyone of them.

Austin studied your features as you were getting lost in your own mind. He noticed a new manner to you. Just your normal expressions had changed, like you had lost your heart. A sad gleam was set in your eyes.

He pulled up to where he knew was your favorite spot, helping you out of the car and grabbing your hand gently.

There was a haze set over the lake as you and Austin walked closer toward the dock. The sun barely peaked through the surrounding trees setting a golden glow over the world around you. You stepped on to the dock hearing the wood creak below your feet. You walked to the edge sitting down, letting your feet dangle from it barely grazing the water. The location set in a new feeling of vulnerability as you recalled everything in your life that had taken place there.

“You didn’t have to disappear,” he told you, sitting down beside you.

“I know,” the surrender lifting a crushing weight off of your still aching chest. “I wanted to call you, I just couldn’t,” you said. The feeling on your mouth being full of cotton surfaced as your eyes brimmed with tears.

“Hey,” he said grabbing your cheek gently. “I would never think any less of you,” his words sent spirals of a warming feeling through your body. “You are more to me than what you accomplish Y/N.” Austin’s comment opened the floodgate of emotions to pour out of you.

“I just always felt like I needed to be great to show my siblings, my parents that I could hold a candle to their achievements. I thought getting into school would prove it, hell Austin I worked so hard,” you choked out finding your place in his arms. He rubbed your back as you shoved your face into he crook of his neck. You let his familiar scent soothe you.

“You never had anything to prove with me, I always knew if you could truly dream it you could do it,” he said. Austin made you feel things you had always pushed aside because he was only ever your friend. You were scared of being nothing special to him all of these years, almost as much as not proving yourself. “Was it really your dream or theirs?” he asked in an attempt to give you any sort of clarity.

“It was all I wanted to make them proud.” Austin felt your body go limp in his grasp as you continued to let go of all of these complex emotions that had built up within you over the years. He stroked your hair lovingly, trying to contain his own feelings of remorse for not seeing what you had felt all of these years. He wished he were better for you.

“I’m proud of you,” he said grasping your chin between his thumb and forefinger so you would look into his eyes.

“For what? I failed at the one thing I’ve been striving for,” you told him dumbstruck as to how he could mean what he just said.

“But you tried, you tried hard, and that is enough. You are enough as you are, for me just you is enough,” he said putting meaning behind every word he was saying. You weren’t the only one with bottled up emotions over the years. Austin knew how he felt for you since the day you had met and as you grew older it only became more apparent. It killed him everyday as he knew his window of opportunity was closing on him until it became shut and locked. There was never a moment that felt right and it cursed him, made him think it was never right for him to love you. Watching you dig deeper into your hole of despair before his eyes did something to him. The box he had kept you love tucked away in, deep in his heart had opened. Every bone in his body ached to love you forever. “I love you, you know,” he said gently, wiping a tear from your eye. You felt your blood rise to the surface and your insides melt as you found yourself wishing it was in the way you’d always secretly wanted.

“I love you too, Austin,” you replied. It wasn’t the first time you two had exchanged those words. Of course it had only ever been in a surface level way of sharing your feelings platonically.

Once you responded so easily Austin knew you didn’t understand what he meant. “No Y/N, I am in love with you,” he clarified. “God, I am so in love with you, I always have been. You are just this perfect girl and I’ve never found the right way to tell you. Just your smile and your laugh man, your laugh is everything. How you never give up on what you love, your passion to be great. You were always great to me, even better than great, extraordinary.”

Your heartbeat became erratic as you pieced together what he was telling you. You placed your head on Austin’s chest listening to the rhythmic thumps, somehow in sync with yours and in that moment you knew that all your life you had been chasing the wrong thing. You had everything you needed all along and you were too caught up in your fantasies to see it. More tears escaped your eyes as you contemplated your mistakes, sitting with what could fix them.

“I’m sorry I was too blinded by my useless ambition to know I loved you too.” You let yourself get lost in his eyes, the gleam of love being all that you’d ever hoped for from anyone.

“Don’t apologize for being the you I’ve always cared for,” he said pressing his cheek against your head holding you closer than before. Your body swirled with a longing feeling for Austin you had learned to suppress over the years.

“Thank you,” you said clinging to his arms that were wrapped around you. For the first time in your life, everything was finally okay. Lying in the boy’s arms at the lake you didn’t have to worry about what you’d been through or what was to come, but what you had in that moment. You had love and that was enough. You were enough.

#this totally wasn't inspired by a deep rooted fear of mine growing up lol #austin butler #austin butler x reader #elvis presley #elvis 2022 #elvis x reader #imagine #austin butler imagine #austin butler fic

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lotusmi · 1 year

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I don't want to seem like a sob story. But to just rant. I always felt different, plus my autism made that difficult. I grew up being sexually, emotionally, and psychically abused my entire life. And into my adult years. I couldn't go to college because I developed POTS at 17 from too much fight or flight responses. I was bedridden for 3 years and had to relearn how to walk. I'm disabled and recently while my mom was out of the country on vacation, my stepdad went into psychosis and left me alone at home for a week with no food. I dealt with him screaming at me all the time everyday and spent the past 5 years trying to shift. After that experience I made a wr for the Maldives to relax because of constant stress. Then I made it a group wr with my shifting friends. The past few months I got into the void state after experiencing extreme cold weather from no heat like when we were homeless when I was a teenager. My stepdad was depressed and telling us it was our last day on Christmas. He ruined my Christmas and I found my ducks dead from the weather. He went to the psychiatric ward for 1 month and then got covid. He came back and was yelling and bullying me again. I ended up covering my ears having a panic attack, feeling like I needed a way out. I started affirming out loud that I only manifest positive things. And he's been nice since then and apologized. I have been doing affirmations for self concept to help me with the void. A few times I've felt pressure on my ears and sound would be muffled when trying to tap into the void. Recently I intended to go into a trance and listened to Lotus Mi's supernova video. I felt calm and in a trancelike state. I saw the pink of my void even with my eyes open. But then I got itchy and it all went away when I moved. I'm hoping so much to tap into the void, change things, help my friends with their situations, and go on my shifting journey. I do not intend for this to take anymore years. Though I haven't been able to get back into that trance, so I'm doing self concept affirmations again.

You are so strong, you are a beautiful soul. You deserve all the better things in world and I am so happy you found the law. I am so pround of you, you are doing amazing. Just keep doing the things you want and love within. Everything is good now, you are safe. You now can dictate what you want your life to be, you are free. Isn't wonderful? 💕 i wish you all the success!

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prongsandhisfoot · 2 years

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“Poor old Snuffles,” said Ron, breathing deeply. “He must really like you, Harry. . . . Imagine having to live off rats.”

Thank you @padfootastic for talking about this chapter because I haven’t read it in a while and it’s wonderful! Padfoot Returns, GoF ch. 27.

There’s three things that really come through here:

1) Sirius’s love for Harry.

It’s clear throughout the series that Sirius and Harry care for each other deeply, but it’s definitely the most explicit (from Sirius’s side) here. Sirius coming all the way there to see him, being so worried (thoughtful!) about Harry’s situation, just the things he says in general...it’s wonderful, and really heartbreaking.

2) Sirius’s thoughtfulness.

I’d like to apologize for the times I’ve insisted Sirius wasn’t thoughtful in the past. He certainly was. Obviously, there are quite a few times he isn’t thoughtful in the slightest, but that’s more of a in-the-moment situation than a trait. Ser vs estar. He was incredibly thoughtful with his dealings with Harry, with his commentary on Crouch and Winky and Snape, and with his answers in general. Sirius made the connections with what happened at the World Cup that no one else did. It’s quite an interesting conversation given how a conversation of equals between kids and adults doesn’t happen very often in the books. Sirius valued the comments of all three children and they in turn valued his.

His personality was of course very different from how we see Sirius in both PoA and OOtP, but I’d argue that it isn’t a shifting of characterization/OOCness, but that his situation was incredibly different in each book. In PoA he’s mad, recently on the run, and bloodthirsty. In OOtP he’s severely depressed. In GoF Sirius is at his most stable, and in the best environment for his mental health he could be in his situation. (Caves and rats > 12 Grimmauld!) This is shown how there’s a shift in responsibility through the conversation. Harry begins by expecting PoA Sirius and taking charge as the more responsible figure; worried about Sirius’s safety. It ends with a sharp contrast in Sirius being the responsible figure; worried about Harry’s safety. The shift is shown again in OOtP because it’s once again Harry feeling responsible for Sirius and Sirius doing a pretty good job letting Harry down. But in GoF, Sirius was incredibly thoughtful, and through what we’re told of young!Sirius + how that was Sirius in a good mental state, thoughtful Sirius seems to be the pre-Azkaban, “normal” Sirius. Cool, brilliant, and thoughtful.

3) Azkaban.

It’s not groundbreaking, but what Sirius says about Azkaban, the Ministry, and Crouch made for a clear-cut scene of how the post-war jailings played out. It’s worth a read for understanding; it was Death Eaters in general, not just Sirius, that weren’t given trials. His miscarriage of justice wasn’t exceedingly special. That people lose the will to live and even stop eating in Azkaban is another important detail. Sirius’s description of Crouch Sr. and even Jr. are also very interesting, and Sirius’s viewpoint was clearly far more nuanced than people tend to give him credit for.

#sirius black #harry potter #goblet of fire #harry potter meta #maybe idrk what a meta is

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missycolorful · 2 years

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Okay, so I've been thinking on this a bit, and I wrote most of this sick in bed while looking back on the last c!Wilbur stream, with nothing else to do on a fine afternoon. And I kinda wanted to put my thoughts on this into something more cohesive.

With just one last c!Wilbur stream to go, barring any where he is present from someone else's perspective, there is still a lot left to be said for a lot of dynamics involving Wilbur. More specifically, him and his father. They have a lot to talk about, but I believe there's more for them talk about than the general audience perceives.

Now, naturally, most of us find that c!Phil should directly apologize to his son. Despite c!Wilbur forgiving him and even thanking his father for assisting in his suicide, Wilbur needs to directly hear an apology from the source to know that what happened was bad and shouldn't have happened.

However, I do believe that there is room for Wilbur, in turn, to apologize to his father, things left unsaid not just by Wilbur, but even from Philza and most of the fanbase.

The latter's what I want to talk about more. We all know it'd be important for c!Phil to openly apologize to his son in his assisted suicide. But there's not a lot of talk about the latter. I want to get into why that's the case, what I believe should be said, why I find this scenario makes sense to me in a way that isn't just "I'm a philza fan", and why it should be discussed more.

Now, this isn't something that I'm, like, demanding out of the storyline. I'm not gonna be upset if it doesn't happen the way I want it; as long as the execution of Wilbur's story is satisfying in some way, that's fine. I do, at the very least, believe that father and son will attempt to reconcile before Wilbur's story ends. I don't doubt that. This is more so just how I'd personally like to see it play out.

Yes, Wilbur already apologized for lying in the letters, explaining why he did it and promising not to lie again (a lie). That was a big piece of their strained relationship, where Philza worried he couldn't trust his son, so the apology was rather important. But what else could I be referring to, then? And how important would it be for the story?

Well, to be quite frank, pretty everything involving what happened on November 16th. I'll get into more detail on that later.

Firstly, however, the topic of mental illness does come into play here. There's discussions in that Wilbur shouldn't have to apologize for things like "leaving us behind" as c!Niki said in the last lore stream. Saying that Wilbur shouldn't have to apologize too much to others because he was mentally ill, since the bare bones of what happened is Wilbur committing suicide via his father. His depression is written in a way that makes people with similar mental illnesses relate to him. Whenever they believe he is being wronged or misrepresented, they seek to defend him. A natural response! This includes believing that he shouldn't have to feel bad/say sorry for making his friends feel this way, as he was in a bad mental space. That sort of plays into why so few think about Wilbur apologizing to Philza for the 16th, since Phil was the one to drive a sword through his ribs. Because, well, "why apologize for asking to kill yourself?"

While that's not wrong to find that thinking iffy, and I see this perspective clearly, I feel like it's a flawed piece of logic, at least for the context of this story.

That mindset of letting one's mental illness become a way to absolve a need of forgiveness for one's actions comes with pitfalls. One's mental illness can explain your actions, but never excuse them. If you've hurt someone, while in a depressive state, it doesn't matter the way you carried your weapon; you still hurt them. They have been scarred. So is it truly that cruel to want someone who has hurt others to apologize? Apologies are mostly meant for the person receiving it, the person who was hurt. It is a way for that person to receive acknowledgement that “hey, my actions have negatively affected you, and I want you to know I’m sorry that I have hurt you in any way.”

Apologizing does not have to mean "I apologize for my health health." Rather, "my mental health has spiraled to a point where I hurt you, and I am sorry for that." To try to spin these sort of apologies as a way to undermine mental health is odd, because that's not what people are doing (imagine people watching Bojack Horseman and thinking "aww, but no, he's depressed, he shouldn't have to apologize for everything that happened to Sarah Lynn, that's dumb that's so dumb (I know the Sarah Lynn thing was way worse than anything Wilbur has done personally to someone SHUSH!!)). We want to allow the person that was hurt to be acknowledged that they were hurt in some capacity, receive closure, and most importantly, so they can move on with their life. This even allows the other person to accept what they have done, to work on themselves and ensure they don't try to hurt themselves or others again.

Thus, we cannot disregard what Wilbur has done because of his bad mental state. It is simply not fair to those who were damaged by him. In fact, if mental health is as significant to this storyline, then we need to consider the mental health of everyone else around Wilbur, as well. Many of his friends' own mental states likely worsened because of him. Even his father's.

Because here's the thing: (ignoring all the meta context of this improved scene, where cc!Wilbur basically pushed cc!Philza into killing his character when the explosions didn't--even though I like to think that the way the meta was executed can even bleed into the lore context) Wilbur manipulated his father into killing him, and left his father an emotionally damaged, grief-ridden wreck.

I'm surprised we don't talk about this a lot, even though the term manipulation can leave such a bad taste, in how evil it sounds. If we stick to the bare basic definition of manipulation, however, it is what happened. Grab any typical description, such as "control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously" or "any attempt to sway someone's emotions to get them to act or feel a certain way." You get the idea. So now we ask how exactly Wilbur manipulated Philza.

Think back to the Button Room scene. Think back to Philza's reactions. "I can't-" 'You're my SON!" Initially, he did not want to commit the heinous act Wilbur asked of him. He was against it. This left Wilbur no longer in control of this situation; he was going to be forced to confront what he did and receive consequences of it from his friends. He was panicking, so he resorted to using his best weapon: his words, persuasion. He says what he thinks will convince Philza to do what he does not want to do. "Everyone wants you to do it." "Look at what I did!" (and though not canon at the time due to the changes in the story, he did not mention that he only had one life). And it works, and Philza is convinced to kill his son. He managed to influence and sway Philza into committing an act he did not want to do prior. So yes he manipulated him.

There's also the fact that the situation he placed his father into was an awful, tragic one. If anyone has ever been in a position where they were faced with someone about to commit suicide, they know how dangerous it is. (or I shudder at the thought of anyone being put in a position where someone gives you the weapon, begging you to kill them, which christ!) It's one that no one should ever find themselves in, no matter the circumstances, no matter the outcome.

It is also not one that many can really... well, handle well. You'll see posts like "oh, I'd do hug/say this/et cetra to save Wilbur, not kill him," and I can say for certain no you would fucking not. Because unless you're professionally trained, you do not know what you'd do in the moment. This is not a situation where you can hug that person, say magical kind words, and everything will be okay. Suicidal people will lash out, fight back, scream, even hurt someone, because with skyrocketing emotions come fight or flight instincts. Hell, once you understand what the other person wants to do, your own mind spirals drastically. You panic. You stress out. You're walking on eggshells. One wrong move, and something drastic will happen that's beyond your control. These situations become emotionally charged, on both sides. Both people will come out of it traumatized in some way. No one is thinking straight here. No one should be put in this kind of situation fucking ever.

Yes, Wilbur was mentally fucked up. He was suicidal. It is bad that Philza assisted in his own son's suicide. What happened to Wilbur was awful, awful, awful. None of this should have happened. I am not denying any of this. But what happened still happened. Wilbur willingly put his father into a dangerous, tragic situation of killing his son. Philza found himself in a disturbing position. Philza caved into pressure, killing his son and destroying them both mentally.

Phil did not leave this scene unscathed, at least emotionally or mentally. We know about his wings, the wing he sacrificed to protect his son (only for that son to beg for death afterwards), damage done by Wilbur's explosions. Wilbur's actions directly harmed his father, even though this was not intended. But I'm more focused on the emotional and mental damage caused. Because for anyone who thinks he was not affected in that way on the 16th, then they... literally just do not watch cc!Phil's streams. In the diary note Phil left for Ghostbur, he talked about being torn apart, feeling cold and empty. He traveled for a long time, trying to find ways to fix what he broke, placing himself in self imposed exile for what he did. He carries his grief on his back, loathes himself, sees Ghostbur and even though he puts on a kind face for him, Phil just sees his mistakes sitting right there, playing music with a sheep.

Like those who Wilbur had harmed in his time in L'manberg, Philza did not come out of what happened unharmed in any way. In all ways, he was damaged and traumatized. The worst part about it is that no one cares, not even Philza.

Philza has not made himself a victim of what happened on the 16th. It's understandable to see how his actions outweigh all else. He allows what he did to brush off how he came out of that room. And he still completely, utterly loves his son. There's some mistrust there, the uncertainty of how much Wilbur has changed, but that love has not wavered. And it's incredible that despite everything, Philza does not want to think any less of his son. He wants to help Wilbur become a better person, even if he's not sure how.

But I think about Philza's broken wing. I think about the diary entry that is the most we ever openly see his suffering. I think about him willingly throwing himself into danger for the safety of his son, only seconds later for his son to ask for death by his hands. I think about Phil being convinced it was the best thing for Wilbur, only to realize that he was wrong, that the last thing his own son did was convince him into assisted suicide.

And I think about how he doesn't talk about this with anyone else (except for Techno; when it was revealed Phil talked about Wilbur with him). I think about this man who does not realize the damage done to him. I think about someone who just shrugs it off and focuses more on what L'manberg has done to everyone else, his son included ("When I was forced to kill my own son, you idiot!").

And how unfair is that?

This is why. This is why I find it so important that, yes, c!Philza should directly apologize for killing c!Wilbur. Philza hurt his son so badly, and Wilbur needs to understand that. But the reverse should be the exact same. I want Wilbur to say to his father that he is sorry that his explosions destroyed his wing, that he is sorry that he manipulated him into killing him. I want Phil to see reality fall into place, that he, too, had been fucked up on the 16th. Not just his wing, but in how it emotionally broke him. I want Phil to realize that his son isn't the same boy who left for L'manberg. He's someone new, still Wilbur, but someone different who had hurt his father and other people, but who also has begun to address that damage and wants to do better, so that will never happen again. I want Phil and Wilbur to open up to one another, address the strains of their relationship, and come out of it better people.

I want the audience to open their eyes, look at things from Philza's perspective, and see that Wilbur was not the only one hurting that day in that room, that he made one last victim of his actions before he died. And that doesn't make me hate him at all, no, I applaud how he's trying to do better and understand why everything happened. I adore Wilbur's character, I have just always felt that one of the people Wilbur has hurt isn't talked about enough, when it should be discussed. While it won't be the end of the world if they don't talk about it, it'd be very important to me if they did.

#philza #wilbur soot #c!wilbur #dsmp lore #zablr #mimi rambles

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kierancampire · 2 years

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I'm sorry this is incredibly long, my anxiety about it all is quite severe as i am so scared they are going to choose to not continue my tenancy once December rolls around, to which i am truly fucked as i have literally nothing if that happens, so i am so scared of it but as stated, i feel being so persistent on this and risking that is worth standing up for myself and doing what i feel is right. So with all that said, i got an automatic response to say the person is out of office, but i just sent this Email to Swan, so no going back now:

I'm sorry if this is not the place to do this, i keep contacting Swan through the feedback form and hearing nothing, so i assume it doesn't work. Can i have this raised to a stage 3 please?

Again, i have had no apology from Swan for giving me the flat the state it was in, especially considering i was given it in Winter and when we had bad storms and all of that was going into my flat. The illnesses i had, the pain i was in, how cold i was, i don't see how any of that met Swans standards.

I still have not received a sincere apology for blaming me for causing the mould, i have been told sorry for "feeling" like the initial response blames me for the mould, and had it denied it does, but when the letter factually in writing states "... all the trickle vents were jammed closed, this was causing the mould." that says nothing about the walls, ceiling, or state of my windows causing it.

I also cannot count the amount of appointments i have had with Axis that have lead literally nowhere, or have lead to me just making other appointments because the current person can't/won't do anything until another issue is sorted. I booked an appointment for my mould wash a month in advance, to have that cancelled on me with no notice, even though i have been trying to get this issue sorted since January/February time. And now even recently, i had an appointment booked with a roofer and it was specifically stated multiple times it was a roofer, to be told a roofer had never been booked to see me. And now, again, when apparently the actual roofer comes over, he didn't do anything, and again, i have been told i need to book an appointment next week to have him over after i have already booked 2 appointments with him. And i have honestly had about 15+ people come and take photos of my mould, only the most recent one actually went to remove it, but couldn't, but then what were all the appointments before that? What have i spent months attempting? I could forgive these if they were individual incidents, but when i have had so many appointments like this over such a long space of time, again, i just don't see a quality of standard there.

Lastly, being honest in a way i maybe shouldn't be. As has been stated previously, i know i maintain my rent, my council tax, i try my best to maintain the property within my capable parameters, to my knowledge no neighbours have complained of me, but i am scared of complaining as i am scared of my tenancy not being continued. But this has taken such a severe toll on my mental health, my anxiety has been the worst it's been in a while, my insomnia has been the worst it's been in a while, I'm still currently trying to come out of a rather severe depression, something i haven't had happen in a while. All of this has purely been from the stress of trying to sort out these issues in my flat, these appointments, the communication issues, and the fact i have been unable to do a lot in my flat due to the state it was in and continues to be in, and also what i went through in Winter. And for me, the risk of what i feel could be a severe future problem is worth trying to be happy and comfortable.

Again, in all honesty, i am scared to say this and to be blunt due to any future repercussions, even though i believe i have done nothing wrong and am just trying to resolve pre-existing issues. But i have always responded to Swan/Axis, I've let you know if appointment times do not work for me, I've maintained being respectful to everyone, I've been friendly or at the very least civil to anyone I've spoken to, I've done as much as i can to maintain my flat and uphold Swans policies and procedures. But i do just constantly feel so disrespected from almost every contact i have had with Swan and Axis, and i know i am one of many tenants that you manage to you, but for me, this is my life, this is my home, and it's had such a heavy impact on me, and when there has been no acknowledgement and no sincere apology for that, it upsets me.

I know i could love living here, this flat is a beautiful flat, it felt good to be here initially, the things i have set up to decorate it are going to look great, and everyone who has seen this flat has loved it for the same reasons i fell in love with it, it could be such a wonderful property. But these issues are holding back its potential and that's what i just want resolved, i want to feel so proud to live here and to be eager to show it off, i want to tell people with pride that it's a Swan property, but i can't do any of that while these issues persist. So can i please have this raised to a stage 3 and can i please just get these things resolved?

I have checked this over a lot as i am scared people would make many alterations to this and my anxiety aboit this all is extremely severe, and i struggle with comunication, especially formal communication, as i never know what is correct to say. So i apologise in advance if anything has seemed too forward or aggressive, that is not my intentions. I truly was and still am so grateful for Swan to allow me to move into this property, and i would happily live here for an extended period of time if Swan agrees, but i do just want these issues resolved. Thank you for your time in reading this and i hope you have a good week.

#personal

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michelle-is-writing · 2 years

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Gideon, Spencer Reid

He’s so cute in this gif omg

Word Count: 1.2k~

It was early, I knew that. You would think after three years of marriage, I would get used to Spencer having to wake up before the sun rises and get ready in five minutes to go to an important case three or four states away. Although, this time, it felt a bit unusual.

When Spencer had woken up to a phone call from work, he answered it half-asleep only to instantly wake up in response to what the person was saying on the other end of the line. He quickly got ready, throwing on a simple brown coat and purple scarf over some clothes he would wear outside of work as they were easier and faster to slide on. Before he left, he wished me goodnight and kissed my forehead like he always does, only this time, his lips lingered there for a few seconds longer than normal. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't want to push him and make him close up entirely.

So, now that it's a few hours later, the hands of the clock resting on twelve instead of four, I sit at the island in our cozy house while drinking tea and looking over papers for work. Spencer still hasn't called or texted me, and I'm a bit worried. Usually, he'll text a simple, "I love you" or call me to talk to me about how he's feeling, but so far, I've received nothing. It seems like today is a polar opposite of any of the other days in the three years I've spent with Spencer. I wonder what could be going on.

A few more hours pass and it's now eight in the evening. Still, my phone has yet to ping with a notification or start singing the ringtone set for Spencer's number. Earlier, I sent an "I love you" text to him, only to receive a simple heart back in response. Spencer is never one for emojis - in fact, this is probably the first time I've ever seen an emoji sent from his phone.

His silence remains up until I’m packing away leftovers of dinner for Spencer when I hear the front door lock begin to move. Walking into the living room, I watch as a tired Spencer enters through the now open door and throws his things onto the couch in exhaustion before looking over at me. His chocolate eyes are bloodshot and puffy, while the color of his face is drained from any happiness or joy he once had. I've never seen him so broken or upset.

Concerned, I feel my lips go down in a frown as I begin to walk toward my husband, his body meeting me halfway there before tugging me to him in a harsh, but gentle hold. Resting my hands on his upper back, I feel Spencer's arms around me tighten as he pushes his head into my neck before silently sobbing. Now I know this wasn't a normal case; did something maybe happen to the team?

"Spencer, honey," I address him, keeping my voice gentle and soft. "What happened?" I ask, his hold on me never ceasing.

A few seconds pass before he finally answers me, his tone of voice hushed and nearly broken. "Gideon's gone..." he explains, his body lightly swaying mine. "He was murdered."

Just hearing him speak makes my heart snap into pieces. Gideon was Spencer's best friend for the longest time; Spencer has never admitted it, but Gideon served as the missing father figure in his life. Because of this, Spencer loved him as a father, and when he disappeared into thin air, Spencer went through a depression that took him a while to get out of and recover. At the time of Gideon's disappearance, Spencer felt bad that he didn't get to say goodbye, and now that Gideon is actually gone, Spencer will never get to say goodbye.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I apologize, moving my hand up to comb through his unruly waves. At the small gesture, Spencer nudges his head closer to me and slumps against me, his broken emotions taking over all of his senses. It absolutely rips my heart in half to see him in such a fragile state, but the only thing I can do is make sure he doesn't break once again.

"I miss him so much, (Y/n)," He admits, his words slightly broken from crying. "I never even got to say goodbye..."

"I know, baby," I tell him, pulling back to push his hair away from his face. At the same time, I gently brush his fallen tears from his face before leaning in close and gently kissing his lips. Almost instantly, Spencer kisses back but with gentleness and softness - nothing hard or firm.

After a few moments pass, we pull apart and press our foreheads together. "Let's go to bed, okay, Spence?" I suggest, feeling Spencer lightly nod.

Walking to our bedroom with his arm wrapped around me, I hand him a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to change into before pushing him onto our bed and lying next to him under the covers. As soon as my body is beside his, Spencer pulls me close and holds me in the strongest embrace I've ever felt by him. By this time, his tears have stopped, and instead, he's grown silent with our breathing being the only noise in the room.

"I..." Spencer eventually breaks the silence, his voice cracking with emotion. "I c-can't let you go," he confesses, leaning down to nuzzle his face into my hair. He's said these words before in our marriage, but this time, it's different. This time, Spencer's not just saying these things because it's his duty as a husband to do so - he's saying these things because he truly can't let me go right now no matter what.

"I don't know what I would do without you, and I don't want to find out," Spencer adds, his arms around me tightening even more. His voice holds so much honesty that it's almost hard to listen and not break down with him. "Please, please, please never leave me."

Without a moment of doubt, I turn my head up toward his and press a kiss to his cheek, my lips lingering against the cold skin there while his equally cold hands gently caress my waist. "I promise, Spence," I murmur against his skin, leaning my head down to press my forehead against his cheek. "I will never, ever leave you," gently shaking my head against his, I feel tears form in my eyes. "I don't know what I would do without you either."

Just like before, silence around us resumes followed by a kiss shared between the two of us, but only this time, the kiss holds everything between us. The kiss holds the grief felt by Spencer over Gideon, the understanding from me, and the heartfelt promises told by both of us. There hasn't been a moment in our relationship that we haven't needed each other in a moment such as this, and because of the severity of the situation, it's expected that Spencer doesn't hold back around me. Because of how close we are with each other, it's expected that we both open up to each other and never hold anything back, and at the same, always be there for each other - no matter what time of the day it is.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler imagines #matthew gray gubler x reader #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds x reader

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ljxlj48 · 2 years

Text

The Nanny

Chapter 4

Lee Taeyong x fem reader

Masterlist

preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue

Genre: mafia au! dad taeyong au!

Warnings: violence, explicit language, mature themes, suicide, depression, murder

Word Count: 3K

Author’s note: I feel like the pace of this story is fairly fast and idk how you guys are gonna feel about it. I’m hoping that if I just increase the amount of details and maybe add a couple scenes then it’s gonna be okay, but if I do that then chapter might become longer, so we’ll have to see. A warning tho, next chapter is gonna be spicy for sure. Nevertheless hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3

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You spent the entire weekend with dream and Taeyong and of course little Dasom. It was the most perfect weekend for you. Dream was amazing, they were loud, weird, energetic, happy. They were just the most perfect bunch of kids to be surrounded by. Although you were also like their mother too, constantly telling them to pick up stuff, or scolding them for their crumbs or having to wake them up from their naps. Nevertheless you wouldn’t trade them to go back to how it was before no matter what flaws they had.

Spending the weekend with Taeyong too was different, a good difference. It was clear that there was an obvious shift in your relationship, that things were different now, the air around the two of you was different from before. Even now, Monday morning as you, Taeyong, Dasom and dream sat at the table eating breakfast.

“My last meeting is at 4, so I should definitely be home before dinner,” Taeyong said, looking at you as you sipped your coffee.

“Okay, that will be nice. Are you boys gonna be home for dinner?” You turned now looking at the boys, Taeyong smiled hearing you call this place home.

“I will not, I actually have to fly out to Canada this afternoon, I’ll be back home the day after tomorrow,” Mark responded.

“I will be with Mark in Canada,” Donghyuck added.

“I have practice tonight, sorry” Jeno stated.

“It’s my turn to watch the infirmary, sorry (y/n)” Renjun apologized.

“I actually have a late meeting tonight, I’m sorry (y/n),” Jaemin said.

“I have dinner with my parents tonight,” Chenle reasoned. Six out of the seven boys said they wouldn’t make it home for dinner and it hurt a little knowing they wouldn't be here.

“I’ll be home,” Jisung perked up and so did you as you heard him say he was gonna make it to dinner.

“Okay,” you said with a smile, one of them was better than none.

“We actually need to go already,” Taeyong said, glancing at his watch, standing from the table. You walked them all to the front door, carrying Dasom to say bye to her dad. “Hey, Dasom has a doctor’s appointment at 11, Johnny will be here to take you guys, okay?” Taeyong said with one foot out the door, you just smiled and nodded. “Okay i’ll see you tonight.” he finished off kissing you on the cheek, “bye princess.” Just like that Taeyong was out the door. You stood there and couldn’t even wipe the smile off your face. The title of Mrs. Lee is not sounding so bad right now.

Here you sat in the doctor’s office waiting room, Dasom was sitting by your feet on the floor playing with some of the toys they had set out. Johnny sat next to you scrolling through his phone just like before.

“Johnny, may I ask you a question?” you turned to look at the man sitting next to you.

He hummed in response.

“Who’s Seulgi?” you asked as you recalled hearing the name being whispered a few times. Johnny immediately stopped what he was doing, looking straight ahead just like he had seen a ghost.

“Where did you hear about that name?” Johnny now looked at you, it almost looked as if he was upset.

“I heard the boys whispering about it over the weekend, they were telling Taeyong that I was like her. I’m sorry I didn’t mean….” You looked at Johnny concerned, as his gaze softened a bit.

“She’s… was Dasom’s mother,” Johnny said now looking at the little girl sitting by your feet, “she passed away a while ago.”

“Oh…” you now looked down at the little girl, you never wondered about her mother before, always concluding that it was none of your business, but things were different now. “Can you tell me how… how did she die?”

“She was sick,” Johnny started off. You didn’t want to interrupt him, so you sat silently and watched as he spoke. “It began shortly after Dasom was born. Seulgi and Taeyong had been together since high school, they had plans to get married and have this big wedding and this family. And they were gonna do it after Taeyong was settled in his career, but then Seulgi got pregnant all of a sudden. Taeyong was just named CEO of the corporation, the organization was just getting off the ground. There was a lot going on. Seulgi didn’t want to get married while being pregnant and quite frankly Taeyong didn’t even have the time for a wedding. So they both agreed to just postpone the wedding until after Dasom was born.” Johnny now looked at you, but there wasn’t any indication that you wanted him to stop.

Johnny continued on, “They decided not to get married until after Dasom was born. And when Dasom was born, it’s like the stars aligned, Taeyong was more happy than he had ever been. Seulgi was a great mom, she loved Dasom. And life was good…” Johnny hung his head now, no longer looking at you, “until it wasn’t. Seulgi started to lose energy to do simple chores, she didn’t smile as much, she was always tired, she didn’t even have the energy to drink water. She would leave Dasom in her crib screaming and crying, and Seulgi couldn’t do it. She asked for help. (y/n) I need you to understand this, Seulgi was a good mom, she asked for help, she loved Dasom.” Johnny looked at you frantically.

“Johnny, I don’t doubt Seulgi’s love for her daughter, she asked for help,” you reasoned.

“She asked for help, we got her help. Taeyong took her to see someone, and she was diagnosed with postpartum depression. Taeyong took a step back from work, I took over for him. They were getting Seulgi on antidepressants, Taeyong spent almost all of his time at home with the two of them. She asked for help, she was getting help and she was getting better. Taeyong actually started to get back to work, he didn’t come into the office, but he would answer calls and emails. Seulgi started to smile again, she was eating. Things were getting better.”

“Johnny, what happened? Tell me what happened… please.” Just as you asked the question, you could see the way Johnny’s heart just broke.

“Jisung. Jisung is a street racer, he and the rest of dream go out to races on Friday and Saturday nights. It was a Friday night race. There was this new guy in town, he wanted to race Mark, but Mark is the best, and you don’t just come into town and race the best. So they told this guy that he could race Jisung. Jisung is good, really good, only dream can beat Jisung, so if this guy beats Jisung then he could race Mark. This guy was talking mad shit before the start of the race, saying all kinds of shit about how he was gonna smoke Jisung.”

“He didn’t?” you asked as Johnny refused to look at you.

“It was a clean race, Jisung won, it was clear as day. But this guy didn’t like that, so when Jisung stepped out of his car to collect his winnings, this guy took a bat to the back of Jisung’s head. It took a minute for the rest of dream to come down to where this guy was beating Jisung. Jisung was beaten so badly that the medics that got to the scene said they don’t know if he’s gonna make it. Jeno and Jaemin pulled the guy off of Jisung,” Johnny paused, his emotions mixed, you couldn’t tell if it was guilt, sadness, or maybe anger. “Jeno killed him.” you couldn’t mask the gasp that you let out. You definitely expected Jeno and Jaemin to defend Jisung but to actually murder someone. “When the police arrived at the scene, no one said Jeno killed the guy, but the blood on his fist was a giveaway. They arrested everyone they could.”

“Johnny…” you were at a complete loss for words. You were just sitting next to a murderer while you ate breakfast this morning, even if it was done with good intentions, he murdered someone nevertheless. Jeno had one of the most adorable smiles you had ever seen you could never imagine him murdering someone.

“Mark and Chenle rode with Jisung in the ambulance, they called me when they were on their way to the hospital. I went down to the police station where Jeno, Jaemin, Donghyuck, and Renjun were taken. Told them not to say anything to anyone, got them in touch with Taeil, our lawyer. I got Renjun, Jaemin and Donghyuck out but Jeno had to spend the night there. I already was making plans to post his bail the next day. Just as I was leaving the police station, Taeyong came rushing in. Taeyong is listed as Jisung’s legal guardian on paper, the hospital is required to call him, and they did. When he found out what was going on he came down to the police station. I told him I got it under control, to go home, that everything was fine.”

“He left?”

“Taeyong was away from the house for maybe an hour at most, but that was enough time. Seulgi put Dasom to bed, drew herself a bath, and took the whole bottle of antidepressants. When Taeyong got back home, the police were already there. A maid had found Seulgi when she noticed there was water coming out from the bathroom. Dasom was still sleeping peacefully in the room down the hall. The police declared her dead on the scene; overdose.”

“Johnny this is not your fault, this isn’t anyone’s fault, Seulgi was sick and she-”

“She needed help? Is that what you’re gonna say? She asked and we failed to deliver her proper help,” Johnny broke, his face was clear that he was angry but no one could hide that tear falling.

“Johnny,” you pulled his hand in yours, “you couldn’t have seen this happening, it’s not your fault.”

Johnny nodded his head, willing himself to stop crying, “I know that in my mind of minds, but sometimes when I lay awake at night, all I think is maybe if I called Taeyong when I got the call, he would have never left her alone. That she would be alive right now, If I just made that call.”

“Forgive yourself Johnny, you didn’t know,” Johnny nodded his head. The two of you taking a moment to collect yourselves. “Johnny if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Taeyong?”

Johnny looked at you and could see exactly the fear to hear more to hear the worse, “he broke. Taeyong threw himself into his work. He fired all the staff that was working at the time, moved out, and had the complete inside of the mansion renovated. He couldn’t, didn’t even look at Dasom for a long long time. She actually stayed with Taeil and his now wife, for almost a year or so. Honestly if it wasn’t for Taeil’s wife, I don’t think Taeyong would have gone back to see Dasom.”

“What do you mean?”

“Taeil’s wife, who was his girlfriend at the time, she would bring Dasom to the office and always make sure to stop by Taeyong’s office, sometimes she would just drive to the house and wait for Taeyong to get home, she would even force Taeyong to come of to their house to see Dasom. Taeyong broke when Seulgi died, it was almost like the piece of him that made him human died along with Seulgi. He got better though. As Dasom grew, Taeyong saw Seulgi in her, and he found the part of himself that he lost.” You couldn’t help but smile a little hearing this. “(y/n), when Seulgi was alive, that first month or so after Dasom was born when the stars aligned and Taeyong was happy,” your smile faltered a little, nodding your head for Johnny to continue on, “there has been only two times since then had I seen Taeyong being close to being that happy. The day he hired you, and the first day of you staying at the mansion.”

“What…” you couldn’t finish your question before Johnny continued.

“You mean a lot to Taeyong, and I don’t completely understand it either, all I know is whenever he talks about you, he smiles, and he rarely smiles.”

“I want to… I want to make him happy, Johnny. I think I've always had feelings for Taeyong but now I think I’m ready to act on them.”

“You do make him happy, him, Dasom, dream, even me.” Johnny smirked now, causing a chuckle from you.

You glanced at the little girl, still in her own world playing with her toys, “I have known Dasom and Taeyong for almost a year now, maybe even a little longer.” You turned back to look at Johnny, “I don't know what to do without them anymore, they are my family.”

Johnny smiled at you now, nodding his head. Just then the doctor called out, you went back, carrying Dasom while Johnny sat in the waiting room for you.

When the doctor's visit finished, you were consoling a crying Dasom. When Johnny saw the two of you come out, he immediately jumped to his feet, noticing Dasom crying, Johnny reached behind him for his gun, “what happened?”

“She got a shot,” you patted Dasom’s back, “she’s fine really.”

“Oh,” Johnny said as he visibly calmed down.

You had all your things together, and were ready to walk out the door of the doctor’s office until you remembered you still needed to make another appointment for Dasom. “Johnny take Dasom downstairs, I have to make her follow-up appointment.”

“No, we’ll just wait here for you.” Johnny said, but you wanted Dasom in the car already.

“Nonsense, just take Dasom to the car I’ll be right behind you. She’s already fussy Johnny, please.” Johnny took the little girl reluctantly, leaving you to make the appointment.

You turned back, walking in the office and going up to the receptionist to make the follow-up appointment. As you talked to the lady, you had this gut feeling that something wasn’t right. This gut feeling that someone was watching you. Deciding nothing of it, you pushed away the feelings. You finished up making the appointment quite quickly, and left the doctor’s office. You made your way to the elevators.

As you stood waiting for an elevator, there was a single man that came up to stand behind you, a fair distance away. He seemed to be also waiting for the elevator. You tried to think nothing of it, but now you knew exactly why Johnny wanted to just wait for you. You probably should’ve let him. You would’ve felt better if he was here anyway. You couldn’t tell just exactly what possessed you to make Johnny take Dasom to the car instead of just waiting. It was really quick too, making the follow-up appointment took you all but 3, 4, 5 minutes at most.

Little did you know Johnny had that same exact feeling. He rushed down the stairs, all but sprinting to the car, shoving Dasom into Jisung’s arms, telling him to put her in the car. Then sprinting to the elevators back to you. Catching the last elevator going up, a few people were in the elevator. Johnny felt as if he let Seulgi die by not calling Taeyong soon enough, and he was not gonna let you die by leaving you alone.

The elevator seemed to be taking longer than expected, you started to tap your foot impatiently. You imagined Dasom’s face now, and how much you wanted her to be in your arms. You imagined her playing with her dolls in the living room, while you sat and waited for Taeyong to come home. You imagined taking Dasom to her first day of school, getting her a backpack, and dressing her in her little uniform. You imagined, the first day she would come to you with a boy problem. You imagined the day she would have a school dance, you could dress her up. You imagined her at her graduation, you and Taeyong by her side. You hoped you would be getting this life with her. With both of them. A life with Dasom and Taeyong.

You felt the guy behind you waiting for the elevator stepping closer. You could hear his breathing crystal clear. You could feel the metal barrel pressed into your back, as your spine ran cold. You stiffened, and right there in your mind you declared if you got out of the situation alive, you would never push Johnny away from you.

“Hello, Mrs. Lee” the guy whispered to you.

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taglist: @morkleetrash@happygirl327@iveivory@scuzmunkie@neocityfile@b1kon131@huskyhunny@sparklygrass@keemburley@imbumkyung@gordorio@a-bts-world@pastel-boy-sungjae@tyongf-sunflower99@floweronacloud@hufflepanda221b@maddypool31@terjeno@spideyweirdo@bbh-bambi@straykidsftnct@xxxx-23nct@pfftbella @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @aaasteroidsky @mariamaravilla

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astroyongie · 2 years

Text

NCT Dream - Reading April Edition

Note: Please take my words with a grain of salt ! next coming : CIX, Blackpink, EXO and TXT

Renjun

It seems like Renjun found someone very recently, plus it was almost like love at first sight. They aren’t in a relationship, but they are learning to know each other. Also last months I made a reading for them without publishing it and Renjun had a conflict with Jeno, and it seems like the tension are still current between them. Career wise, he is helping his members progressing and he is feeling a little stuck because he wished to do something new. Health wise:

Physically: Chest and heart pains

Emotionally: Mentally not in a good place, he had been suffering emotionally and have lost some faith

Jeno

So just like stated the tensions between him and Renjun are still present. Jeno apologized to Renjun but this one rejected it and things are still shaky. Jeno is also still single. Jeno is working a lot, until late, and there’s an opportunity is coming for him. Health wise:

Physically: Some troubles around the sexual behaviors he has been having

Emotionally: He is overall okay

Jaemin

Jaemin is in a relationship and everything is going well and he is overall very happy with his own situation. There’s some changes on his career, but they will be good since they will make Jaemin earn some good money. Health wise:

Physically: Overall okay

Emotionally: A few depression episodes he had but he is getting better slowly and surely

Chenle

It’s always the same history for Chenle, since each time he gets a crush on someone, he always remember that it won’t be possible since he has a strong family karma that stops him to enjoy these things. And thus, it makes him very frustrated. There’s also a lot of responsibilities on his career, and burdens that he has to work on. Health wise he is focusing on getting better slowly

Jisung

All of his relationships and his life is being monitored closely since Jisung has fallen back on his unhealthy behaviors which have consequential impacts on his health and career. There isn’t any much information about all of this, other than everything seems to be kept secret and close. health wise:

Physically: Some overall body troubles and dysmorphia

Emotionally: A lot of fear and negative self talk

Shotaro

He is single and will stay like that for a while, because in March, Shotaro went through a hard dating ban after he started getting involved with people that the company really didn’t like. Shotaro also misses his family a lot. There’s a project that I seeing discussed for him. Health wise:

Physically: troubles on his skin, tendons, bones, knees, spleen, stomach and a lot of tiredness on his body

Emotionally: A lot of anger and bursts of emotions

Sungchan

Sungcha got into a relationship last month, not because he liked the person, but to show his first crush that he had moved on and he wasn’t thinking about them anymore. This person is a non idol. Just like Sungchan, there’s a new project and opportunity for him that is being discussed and agreed on. Health wise:

Physically: Headaches, teeth, blood, liver, lumbar, hips and thighs

Emotionally: feels guilty and vulnerable

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anaveragebibliophile · 3 years

Text

He Comes First

Thranduil x Wife!reader x Young!Legolas

Summary: After finding out some exciting news about your and Thranduil’s future as parents, you begin reminiscing on the all the joys and wonders that this life has given you (especially getting to see your husband excel at fatherhood).

PART 1

PART 2:

https://anaveragebibliophile.tumblr.com/post/659269636241637376/cyclical-love

“Are you one-hundred percent certain, Morwen? I know you are an expert at discerning such things, but I cannot help but still feel the uncertainty reverberating through me,” you said, hands gripping your kneecaps as you awaited the healer’s response.

“Yes, my queen. All of the signs are there: the nausea, the subsequent morning sickness, the exhaustion. I am positive that I am correct in my diagnosis.”

“Oh, by the Valar (God),” you responded, your right hand drifting to hold your stomach protectively. “I am with child. Thranduil and I will be welcoming another elfing next fall.”

“Yes, Queen (y/n). When the leaves begin to fall, you will be holding another blessing in your arms.”

Walking back to your and Thran’s chambers provided ample time for rumination on this news (because the healer’s quarters were on the other side of the palace). Now, that’s not to say this contemplation was meant to curb any sentiments of regret, resentment, or anger. Not at all. In reality, you couldn’t stop a huge smile from framing your face. You couldn’t help but embrace the elation that was filling every facet of your heart, soul, and mind. Oh, this was a dream come true.

Obviously, the topic of having another child had been discussed between you and your husband many times (usually on fireside date night with goblets of wine and lots of cuddling). And the funny thing was that the prospect had cemented itself more securely over the last few months. Having and caring for another child no longer appeared to be this unattainable desire, but, instead, it filled you and Thran with this rapture, this thrill. And why wouldn’t it really? Legolas was everything you both could have hoped for, so why not try for that relentless feeling of contentment one more time? You’d have to be asinine not to.

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“Ada, Ada are you awake?” Legolas’ melodic voice asked, breaking through the tranquil haze you’d encompassed yourself in.

“There is no need to fret, my little leaf. Ada is just resting his eyes. He is tired,” your husband’s deep baritone responded.

“Of course, Ada, but that is not why I was asking. Would it be alright if I laid on your chest?”

“You already know the answer to that, Legolas. Climb on up, iôn nîn (my son).”

And climb on up he did, at least from what you saw through the little crack in the door. Once your little elfling’s voice alerted you to the fact that your two favorite people in all of Middle Earth were in your chambers, your immediate instinct was to rush and join in on the cuddle session that was so obviously taking place. Yet, somehow, right as you put your hand on the doorknob, it was as if your feet were tethered to the floor. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t speak. All because you turned your head. All because of what you were bearing witness to.

Legolas was sprawled starfish-like on his father’s chest, his little face turned into the right side of Thranduil’s neck. You could see the red, depressed sleep lines marring his face from his morning nap (where he and the pillow became great comrades). And even though that was such an adorable sight, what you saw your husband doing made joy spread through your entire heart in such a way that you thought it might implode on you.

Sometimes your little leaf struggled to fall asleep at night. Whether it be because of a nightmare or a fear of separation from his parents no one could truly say. His insomnia was variable at best and inevitable at worst. However, regardless of the circumstances, your and Thran’s mission was to get your son some relief, no matter the cost. And you tried everything you could think of: lullabies, rocking, warm milk, literally anything that the rule book on parenting tells you to attempt, but nothing would make any impact. That is, until your husband changed the game.

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One night in mid-winter, Legolas’ inability to sleep had reached its peak. He hadn’t been feeling well for most of the day--spending most of it snuggled with you in the sitting room or with Thranduil in his office--and by the end of the night had been sporting a pretty nasty fever. He was miserable, plain and simple. You had hoped that the illness would’ve given him the opportunity to give in to his fatigue, to barricade himself in a dream-like state. Wrong. Instead, the infection chose to create a pain in his ear that wouldn’t abate by any means. No question, it made him absolutely hysterical.

Despite this, though, he was most at peace with your husband, the man who spent most of that day with his lips pressed in a thin, white line and his stomach in knots. All he hoped for was his son to be improving, but it didn’t seem like Valar (God) was in the mood to grant that wish. So, he did what he was best at: finding a way to take control of the situation. In this case, the problem was Legolas’ discomfort. The little guy was trying to sleep--on his side, his back, in Thran’s arms, in whatever position his brain could conjure up--but would then proceed to hold his left ear and whimper. Anything he did would cause pain to shoot through him.

“Alright, little leaf,” Thranduil said while rocking his son in his arms for the tenth time that day, “how about we try having you rest on my chest. You might sleep better that way.” And all he got was an almost imperceptible nod from the elfling that was clenching his hand so tight.

Moving over to the bed, he slowly settled himself in the center, making sure not to jostle his son too much. Quietly humming to Legolas, he carefully moved his right hand up and down his spinal column and left lingering kisses on his forehead.

“There we go, iôn nîn (my son),” he said. “Hopefully this helps. Gi melin (I love you).”

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“Darling, you can come in, you know. This is your space too,” your husband’s voice articulated, a hint of mockery and teasing in his tone (all in good fun).

Opening the door all the way, you smiled at the treasures that laid before you. One curled into his father’s chest like an armadillo. The other grinning like a fool at said armadillo.

“My apologies, sweetheart. Once I got here, I couldn’t refrain from letting you have that special one-on-one time with him.”

Your husband’s right cheekbone lifted up to create an off-centered smile of sorts. “How was your appointment with Morwen? Was she able to give you some herbs to aid your sickness?”

“Yes, she was. But that is not the only thing she mentioned to me. About why I am ill anyway.”

“What else is wrong? Whatever it is, it is treatable, yes?” Thranduil queried, his voice getting higher by at least three octaves.

“Yes, honey. It is treatable. I’ll only have to wait about six more months.”

At that, your husband paused, concentration taking over his features. You felt his brain’s agony at the mere thought of analyzing the riddle and attempting to figure it out. Every mechanism was moving to decipher the answer.

And then it all clicked.

“If what you say is true, then that means we are….”

TBC

#thranduil #thrandolas #legolas #babylegolas #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #love #children #pregnancy #marriage #battle of the five armies #desolation of smaug #the fellowship of the ring #thranduil x reader #thranduil x wife

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beauty-and-passion · 3 years

Note

Your assumptions about the state of all characters in the season 2 finale

Easy: various degrees of pissed

Patton: unwittingly pissed (with the potential of being hugely pissed)

Patton is our oblivious cutie. Just look at the end card of WTIT: Virgil blasted him and he barely recognized the attack. If Virgil keeps doing it during season finale, Patton could acknowledge it and snap back. And oh gosh, I would LOVE to see him underline that HE is the one responsible for morals, not Virgil nor Roman. That's his job and he knows what he's doing, no matter how clueless he may seem.

And he would also prove that accepting Janus wasn't the result of Janus "brainwashing" him, but of Patton being the mature Side he is.

______

Roman: immensely pissed

Roman is this close to losing it. Another praise from Patton, a small discussion between the other Sides, one single word from Janus and he's ready to snap. Patton is siding with the snake, Thomas himself chose the snake over him, no one loves him (except Virgil, who is on his side). The only happy thing in his life right now is Nico, so if the slightest thing happens to this relationship, he would probably go crazy.

Hence why I want him to go crazy.

______

Virgil: hypocritically pissed

I can't wait for the moment in which Virgil will say something along the lines of: "the Others don't deserve a chance, Thomas. Unlike me, a former member of the Others who deserved a chance".

He's completely on Roman's side. And it's mostly because he's afraid of changes, rather than because he embraces Roman's black/white mentality. Virgil has always been afraid of changes and, right now, Thomas is on the verge of huge changes: the wedding left consequences in his mind (like the underlying depression effects we noticed in the mess of Thomas' house during WTIT), the Others are being more present in his life and there's this relationship with Nico going on.

So he's obviously scared, not ready at all, pissed at Patton and even more pissed at Janus. And I can't wait for the moment in which they will be in the same room, once again, both accepted. They will verbally tear each other apart and I want a front-row seat to enjoy the show.

______

Janus: sarcastically pissed

All Janus wants is for Thomas to listen to him and for the other Sides to respect him. All he got is one (1) adult Side, one (1) passive-aggressive Side, Roman who would gladly chop his head off when his back's turned and Virgil. Considering the situation, I can see him going into "sarcastic mode" 2 minutes into season finale and keeping that mode on until the end, when hopefully Roman will mature enough to apologize to him and he will feel safe enough to show a tiny bit of weakness. Not too much, just enough to bond with them - and to apologize to Roman as well.

______

Logan: orangely pissed

Logan is very close to snap, but not as close as Roman. He wants to be listened to and Thomas keeps ignoring him to listen to Nico, to Roman, even to Janus rather than to him.

So what better way to build the tension, if not by leaving him out during season finale? What better way to start his arc, than by ignoring him ONCE AGAIN, in order to deal with Roman and his childish dreams?

In other words: I want him to be left out. I want the end card all for him, ready to snap. I want season three to open with an unstable, passive-aggressive, angry Logic.

______

Remus: piss(ed)

Remus is Remus, all he wants is to see chaos unfold. So he will probably sit on a chair and much popcorn, while the other Sides blast each other. Just like us.

But also, I think it's time for the first canon interaction between him and Janus. Come on, Thomas, give us these two chaotic bitches being chaotic together.

#sanders sides #ask #sanders sides theory #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides season finale

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makeste · 3 years

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I like Bakuguo but his attitude is starting to really piss me off. He's talking about Daku as if he's just ~crazy~ and as if he isn't partly to blame for Deku's toxic self-worth issues. It's infuriating to watch. If Bakuguo doesn’t admit out loud and in front of his friends that his bullying of Deku played a part in Deku's current destructive state and if he doesn’t verbally apologize and reaffirm Deku's worth then I can no longer like Bakuguo's character or Hori's writing.

tbh I don't really know why this is the discourse of choice for people all of a sudden, but this is already the second ask I've gotten about it, so I might as well address it lol.

I think fandom is conflating fanon!Deku and canon!Deku here again. fanon Deku is of course much more sensitive and woobified and has much shakier self-esteem. fanon Deku is the one that turns evil in so many AUs because of Kacchan's bullying. fanon Deku is the one that actually jumps off the roof in so many fics, as opposed to fishing his notebook back out of the pond a few minutes later grumbling about how Kacchan needs to think before he speaks or else he could land himself in serious shit one day if god forbid anyone actually does take his cruel words to heart.

and just to clarify before I get any further, I am not saying this to excuse Kacchan's actions in any way, because what he did was still completely terrible and unacceptable and WAY over the line, and what's more he knew it, too. the bullying was still shitty and horrible and awful, and definitely impacted Deku and made him miserable. I fully acknowledge that, and that Kacchan has a lot of atoning to do for it. this is not a "Kacchan did nothing wrong" post.

but that being said, I don't think canon Deku's reckless self-sacrificing nature actually has anything to do with the bullying. I think they're two completely separate things. canon Deku actually has pretty decent self-esteem in spite of everything Kacchan did to him. canon Deku doesn't think he is useless. canon Deku had a wholeass fight with Kacchan less than 10 chapters into the series in which he explicitly spelled it out for Kacchan that he had a lot of worth, and was going to prove it to him. canon Deku was persistent in wanting to become a hero and hoping and believing that he could find some way in spite of being quirkless. canon Deku never let go of that dream even when no one else supported it. I don't think he would have even given up on it after being told no by All Might, tbh -- we just never got to see how it would have played out because of everything that happened with the sludge monster shortly afterward. but he's not the type to ever give up on something that easily, and we've seen that. canon Deku never thought he was useless, but rather wanted to prove to everyone else that he wasn't.

the drive that Deku has to save and protect others even at the expense of his own safety is something entirely separate from that. he doesn't break his body for others simply because he has no self-esteem and thinks that his own life isn't important. he does it because he can't stand the thought of someone else getting hurt, and knowing that he could have done something to prevent it. it's as simple as that. like, Spider-Man has the whole "with great power comes great responsibility" thing, right? and he doesn't have low self-esteem; he simply believes that if he has the ability to help someone else, then he has a responsibility to help them. it's a personal creed. and Deku is based on Spider-Man. his philosophy is based on that philosophy, which was one of Horikoshi's core influences and is one of the core creeds in superhero fiction.

Deku is self-destructive not because he doesn't value himself, but because he is literally physically incapable of standing back and doing nothing if he knows that he can do something. he's the type of person who sees a car speeding towards someone and leaps in to push them out of the way. NOT because he wants to get himself fucking pancaked by a speeding car, but simply because he can't sit back and watch the other person get hurt without taking action. his body moves before he can think. and that's where the whole "doesn't take himself into account" thing comes in -- the fact that his thought process simply stops at "get them out of the way of the car", and never extends beyond that to "hey, and maybe I should try to find a way to do this that doesn't involve me getting hit in their place." to him, that's simply less important than the first priority, which is getting the other person out of the way.

and regarding that last part, while that may seem like a self-worth issue if he's prioritizing everyone else above himself, I think what it actually is just selflessness taken to extremes. like for instance, when a parent sacrifices themselves to save their child, them placing the child's life above their own isn't necessarily because they don't see themselves as having value. rather, it's that they love the child so much that they place their well-being even above their own. and that's what Deku is like as well. except that in his case he cares about EVERYONE, and so is willing to sacrifice himself for anyone. and that selflessness is his defining character trait, and simultaneously the most admirable and the most terrifying thing about him. it's both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness, which I think is fascinating to explore.

but anyway, so that's also why we never really see anyone thoroughly chewing him out for this behavior either. because the thing is, it is admirable how selfless he is. it's just that there's also a reason why most people are at least a little bit selfish. and that's because too much selflessness will ultimately and inevitably wind up getting you killed. at some point you either have to learn when to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, or else find yourself a loyal group of friends (or classmates) to watch your back, and make sure that mask gets on you when you need it. and maybe help you land the plane too while they're at it.

anyway so that was a lot of rambling, but basically it all boils down to three things:

when Deku berates himself for being useless (for instance at the end of the War arc), he's doing it out of frustration for not being able to push the others out of the way of the metaphorical car. that's the kind of uselessness he can't stand. the sitting-back-and-doing-nothing uselessness.

Kacchan's bullying was terrible, and it might have indeed played a part in Deku's choice of the word "useless" as a way of berating himself in these instances, but he is not the one who gave Deku this mindset of taking himself out of the equation. that's something that was already inherent to Deku from day one. (but that said, Kacchan has a lot of things to apologize to Deku for anyway, so if he wants to add this to the list I certainly won't stop him. he gets mad about Deku's suicidal attitude because it worries him, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't feel responsible for it. people underestimated his feelings of atonement before 284/285, and I think they're still underestimating him now.)

and lastly, one last important note, which is that Deku's current "saving" mindset isn't wrong, just as Kacchan's "winning" mindset was not wrong either. the lesson to be learned here is NOT that being selfless and wanting to save other people is bad. rather, it's the fact that he's trying to do it alone that's got him all fucked up right now. basically when you think about it, selflessness is really just selfishness on someone else's behalf. which means that in order for Deku to be saved, it isn't necessary for him to change his outlook or his selfless attitude, even if it is pretty crazy lol. rather, all he really needs is a good group of friends who are willing to act selfishly on his behalf in return. protecting each other through mutual selflessness lol. teamwork as self-preservation. hence why the U.A. kids are here now.

anyway so yeah, I think that's everything. sorry this got so long and out of control lol. this is just a very specific nuanced thing that's hard for me to express, but which I feel is very important when it comes to Deku's character. Kacchan didn't unleash Depressed Nomad Deku on the world (or at least not in this respect). but that being said, he and the others will hopefully be the ones to nudge him back on the right course again.

#bnha 319 #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #long post

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uuujeewriting · 3 years

Text

you can do it! [albedo, kaeya, childe, zhongli and diluc]

s/o has been going through a depressive episode and lacks motivation to finish their work and is getting anxiety because of it

tw: none, mentions of depression/anxiety, nothing too much. fluffy comfort <3

albedo x gn!reader, kaeya x gn!reader, childe x gn!reader, zhongli x gn!reader, diluc x gn!reader

a/n: self indulgent bc i'm way behind school and in the middle of a depressive episode so motivation's been lacking ;-; hope you guys are having a good week tho!

i would like to clarify that if any of these scenarios/hc's of mine are similar to other writers' works, it is unintentional and i apologize

albedo

oh? unmotivated you say.. self depricating thoughts? intrusive ones too?

albedo was never one to mope around when he was stuck on some problem he's yet to puzzle together, but seeing you exhausted, anxious and so... dull–he desperately wants to take all your worries away

he's a bit slow, failing to realize your depressive episode for a few days. as it prolongs, he notices how you seem to talk down to yourself and give up easily

sometimes, you don't even start work at all

this is due to your anxiety, he assumes as you think you're incapable of finishing or doing the work satisfactorily enough.

pulling you into an embrace from behind as you work on the projects you've been stuck on for the past few weeks, he gently whispers into your shoulder

"darling, have you been alright recently? are you in need of assistance?" he asks

he presses a loving kiss on your neck and you stifle a chuckle

"it's that apparent, no? i've been under the weather for quite a while now.."

as you explain your reasons and all your troubles to his end, he nods and hums ever so often

"you must be feeling drained, hm? well, frankly enough, i seem to need a break myself."

"eh? albedo where-!!”

he pulls you away from your working place and carries you to the couch, laying you down gently as he smiles at you

"aside from your unmotivated self, i reckon you need reassurance for those intrusive thoughts of yours."

and that, ladies, gentlemen and folks, is how you end up cuddling with albedo until the sun sets and you fall asleep

bask in the comfort of his words as he calls you his everything and more :')) <333

kaeya

my, oh my. what's gotten into his precious little love?

he's sharp, quite easily takes notice to your frantic and dim self.

he sees you sitting outside, head in your hands and sighs leaving your lips every now and then

unbeknownst to you, he creeps behind you and presses a careful peck on the nape of your neck, causing you to flinch and look back quickly

he was about to laugh at your cuteness, but as soon as he's reminded of your troubled state, he sits beside you and takes your face into his hands

sir we're in the plaza-

"oh archons, why is my sunshine so dim these days?" he pouts

rip u probably after this

"kaeya.. well, you see-"

and as you explain your current doubts and anxieties, he strokes your cheeks softly and looks into your eyes fondly

when you're finished, he nods and presses a light kiss on your forehead, a silent promise to accompany and help you on your endeavors to face your troubles

"i'll always be here for you, my love. if there's anything i can help you with, do not hesitate to come into my arms, hm?"

"noted, mr. suave"

jkjk o r a m i

he laughs and kisses you on the edge of your mouth

"what say you we head into the tavern for a bit? you could use some relaxation, right?"

as if you had a choice other than to say yes

childe

this man would know the second it started

having a bunch of siblings has its benefits huh

when he walks into your shared room and sees you on the edge, tears brimming your eyes he sits you down on your bed

"hey, hey.. i'm here, it's alright."

as you cry in his embrace, he rocks you gently, shushing you softly in an attempt to hinder your tears

"you can tell me if you're up for it, honey. i'm never too busy for you."

"i-it's just that-"

mhm. oh? why, how dare they treat you so harshly. really? why must you have to be burdened so heavily?

he acknowledges your struggles and worries with gentle strokes and brushing through your hair

"you have it really rough, don't you? ah well, nothing we can do but-"

"childe?"

he stands up and leaves the room for a second

he comes back with food, drinks, your favorite clothing of his, a scented candle you bought and some books you have yet to finish reading

the action warms your heart as you sniffle and smile at your lover

as soon as he lays down with you, prepare to never see daylight again as he won't let go for the longest, and i mean longest time ever

"i love you, y/n. you're strong and don't let anything, not even yourself, make you think otherwise."

zhongli

dearest, must life be so unfair to you? why you out of all people?

zhongli is wise–he knows something is bothering you when it does. that being said, he isn't sure whether or not he should approach you so directly

especially if it seems like a sensitive topic

instead, in your depressive state and anxious fiddling, he calls you over to him

he pulls you into his lap as he takes your face into his hand and kisses you tenderly

"my dear, has anything been bothering you? might i offer my hand in dealing with them?"

you'd think kaeya's mr. suave then this man pops up with his broke ass

"as a matter of fact.."

as you go on and state your dealings and troubles, he listens with an almost solemn look

he looks at you with utmost affection and concern when you finish

"the terrains of life have been steep and intimidating, you have been very commendable for braving through these, my dearest."

he places his lips onto your own and strokes the back of your head lovingly

for a reserved man, zhongli easily expresses his affection for you in multitudes of ways

his kisses being one of them

after parting your lips, he peppers your face with his kisses and you laugh quietly at his ministrations

"might i suggest a quick stroll to take your mind off things?"

you agree, thinking that once you head home, you'll be back to work with a clearer mind

little did you know mr. no money in his pockets got a liiiittle surprise for you as you won't be returning to your work any time soon :DDDD

by 'surprise' i mean he's taking you out to dinner

yall nasties

diluc

diluc is a busy man, dealing with a winery and all

along with his night profession (which he has only admitted to you and the traveling duo)

you did your best to hide your troubled self and aid him in his work, but you can only hold the facade for so long before it eats you up inside

when you break, he is slightly taken aback but is quick to comfort you

he sees you shaking and situates you on his couch as he sits beside you, rubbing your back as you curl into his figure

he's very warm

"sweetheart, would you mind telling me the problem?" he asks

he waits for an answer as you're still trying to find the words

"diluc, i'm sorry for bothering you.. i know you have plenty on your schedule and-”

"y/n, you're my top priority, no matter what. my work is nothing compared to what you mean to me."

and it's true, you're really his top priority

woohoo !! :DD

when you explain your anxieties and doubts to diluc, he's very understanding and listens to you earnestly

"-and that's why i've been so.. down, let's put it."

he strokes your face and presses his forehead to your own, looking you in the eye softly

he pulls you in tighter and closer, pressing kisses to your jawline and below your ear

"thank you for expressing your troubles with me, my love. i'm sorry for not noticing earlier."

"no need, love, you're very busy and i can't thank you enough for taking the time to understand me."

he pulls away for a second and shakes his head

"again, my work is nothing compared to you. i am willing to put aside all my responsibilities for a week in order to ensure your happiness."

uh wh a t

"ah," you laugh concerned, "sure–"

"which is what we're going to be doing this week." he smiles

welp. no turning back now

enjoy ur week with the redhead you utter s i m p

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