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peachjaem00 · 9 months

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The moon to my stars

PAIRING; childhood best friend!jisung x fem reader

SYNOPSIS; jisung has been in love with you forever but kept it a secret because he was too afraid to ruin your friendship. he had to endure watching you make a life without him until one day he could not hold it any longer, he couldn’t let the moon leave his stars. or jisung being a complete and absolute simp for the reader since he was a little boy.

HONORABLE MENTIONS; twin brother! Haechan, jeno, yeji (itzy), jaemin, chenle, renjun

WC; 14.5k

THEMES; fluff, angst, pinning, friends to lovers, non idol! Jisung

WARNINGS; swearing, female reader, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood, physical fight, mentions of bruises, jealousy

AN; based on my jisung’s timelapses [01:10 pm], [12:30 am], [02:00 pm]. you don't have to read the timestamps to understand the fic.

also big shoutout to @cappujeno and @ichorai for beta reading this and for their support, this fic would have not happen if it wasn't for your help!

taglist; @sadgirlroo @shwizhies @patitotodd

He was five when he saw you for the first time.

Jisung was feeling anxious, his heart was beating fast and his hands were sweating, the movement of the car making him more nervous and the big truck behind them made him feel as if he was being chased, which only fueled his panic. His family was moving to the house in front of yours where you and Haechan were playing. You pushed your brother a little too hard, making him fall, and you laughed as a result. He couldn't stop looking at you—for some reason, you intrigued him. Maybe it was the way you helped your brother immediately right after he fell, maybe it was the way you started to console him by patting his head and fixing his hair, maybe it was the way you never stopped smiling. He still remembers what you were wearing; a light blue dress with a moon right on your chest, with white sneakers and your hair up in two pigtails. You looked adorable and he knew at that moment you had the prettiest pair of eyes.

He got out of his parent's car and the sound of the door closing was loud enough to make you look his way. You were amazed by the big moving truck and when your eyes landed on him, you waved hello. Jisung was too nervous and didn't know what to do other than hide behind his mom. After the little interaction, she took Jisung's hand and walked inside their new home—he couldn't stop looking at you even while he was being brought inside.

A few hours later a knock on the door made Jisung look up from his coloring book. It was his mom who opened the door and later on she asked Jisung to come to the entrance. He was surprised by your presence, along with your mother and your brother. Haechan looked exactly like his mom, and he was guessing you looked more like your dad.

“Jisung, these are our neighbors. They live in the house right in front of us, say hi.”

“Hey, little guy.” Your mom was the first one to talk and by seeing how nervous Jisung was she smiled.

“Hi, I'm y/n, very nice to meet you.” You extended your hand and he noticed a silver bracelet on your wrist. It looked big on you, but you didn't seem to care.

“I'm Jisung,” he said with very pink cheeks while grabbing your hand and letting it go almost immediately.

“This is my brother Donghyuck, but we call him Haechan.”

“Hey, only my friends call me that.”

“Well Jisung is our friend now, dummy.” Jisung laughed, so did his mother and yours.

“Mom! Don't laugh, say something.” Haechan furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest, Jisung noticed that he had the same bracelet as you.

“Y/n, we've talked about this.” Your mom’s stern tone made you look down.

“Yeah alright…” There was a defeated tone in your voice. “I’m sorry.”

“That was so fake.” Haechan pokes his tongue out and you copy his actions.

“Kids, behave.” It only took one look from your mother to stop the bickering between you two. “Now y/n, why don't you ask Jisung's mom the thing you wanted when you saw him earlier?”

“Oh right!” The excitement in your eyes made them look even prettier, making Jisung's heart race. “Can Jisung come play with us? I promise we will take care of him and we'll have him home before it gets dark.” You gave Jisung's mom your puppy eyes and she couldn't help but laugh at your cuteness; meanwhile, Jisung was trying to calm himself.

“I have no problem, but let's see what Jisung has to say, okay?” All eyes were on him, making him hide behind his mom once again, a habit that he does till this day.

You noticed how shy and nervous he was, so you came closer, grabbing his hand and rubbing your little thumb on his knuckles in an attempt to calm him down.

“Do you want to come and play? I promise we're nice people,” you said in the softest voice. It only took a look into your eyes to make Jisung forget about his shyness, the warmth in them was enough to make him feel safe.

“Yes.” His voice was a whisper but he knew you heard him since your smile grew wider.

“Great! Let’s go!” You pulled his hand along with your brother’s and bolted out of there with the boys following you. “Thanks Jisung's mom, I'll take good care of him, I promise!”

And that's what you did. You took care of Jisung that whole afternoon, the day after and the one after that. You kept your promise to Mrs. Park and you took care of her son up until this day.

He was 10 years old when he discovered he had a crush on you.

You and Donghyuck were going into your first year of junior high while Jisung was still in elementary school. He was distressed, to say the least. It was his first time going to school without the two of you, he felt lost and lonely. You three would walk together to school; it had been a tradition for years, at least for him but now that you were going to another school, the tradition was broken. It was a very mundane thing but seeing you first thing in the morning always lifted his mood up.

Despite moving to the neighbourhood 5 years ago, he had only managed to make 2 friends, you and your brother. He feared not making any new friends during those 2 years he had left of middle school before he could join you.

He tried fixing his tie but no matter how much he tried, it always turned out a little crooked. He let out a tired sigh and gave up. He said goodbye to his parents and then he finally grabbed his backpack to leave the house. He was surprised by your presence in his front yard. You looked so pretty in your new uniform and you no longer wore your hair up. It was longer, soft and shiny as it lapped at your shoulders, gently stirred in the breeze, the sun giving it a lighter hue. Jisung let out a sigh while admiring you.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” he asked, confused.

“I'm walking you to school, duh,” you said with an obvious tone.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? We've been walking to school together for years, Sung.”

“I know, but you go to a new school now.”

“You do know it's just around the corner, right?” you giggled while seeing his red cheeks when he realized. “And even if it was far away, I don't want you to walk to school alone. It's tradition that we do it together.”

He felt his heart racing and a certain warmth hugging him, he thought he was the only one taking it as tradition. He was so happy to find out he wasn't alone and that it wasn’t a thing that you had to do but that you also looked forward to it.

“And Haechan hyung?”

“He left earlier since he didn't want anyone to take the last seat of the central row.” You pause. “You know how he is,” you say pointedly, making the younger one laugh. “Here, let me help you.” You untied his tie and put it around your neck. Your fingers moved smoothly and before tying it completely you took it off. “Stay still.” You put the tie around the collar of his button up, you fixed it and finally you tied it up; your fingers brushed against his neck, making him feel chills, they were cold even though it was summer. “There you go.” You moved your hands and Jisung noticed your silver bracelet once again.

He found out that you and Hacehan had the same bracelet, both of your names engraved plus a little sun for Donghyuck and a little moon for you. It was a gift from your parents when you turned two. You once confessed to him that it was your biggest treasure.

“C'mon we're gonna be late.” Whilst saying that, you started walking.

You never talked much during your walks to school, but none of you cared. It was your little moment of peace before the chaos started.

“Are you nervous?” He looked at you when he heard your voice.

“Yes, very,” you chuckled, making him smile, he couldn't help himself.

“You'll be okay.”

“Yeah, I don't think so.” He lets out a nervous giggle. “It's gonna be hard without you there.”

“C’mon Jisung, you're really nice and such a good person. You just need to make the first move or keep the conversation going if someone starts one.”

“I'm terrible at it.” His tone was dejected.

“You have become much better though, Hyuck and I have taught you well. Don't tell me you have forgotten everything?” You giggled.

“No.” His voice held a panicked tone. “It’s just that, why would people want to be friends with me? I never talk.”

“Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.” Your voice was serious. “You’re loyal, funny and caring. They would be very stupid if they didn't want to be friends with you.” He noticed your anger when he looked at you.

You arrived at his school after finishing the conversation. You grabbed his hand before he could go in, making him face you.

“You're gonna be okay. Don't worry about it too much, and have fun.” You fixed his tie one last time. “I'll come for you when school is done.” And when you fix your own hair, he noticed that your bracelet fell off. “I have to go or I'll be late, see you later!” You ran off before he could say anything else.

Jisung was quick to grab the bracelet and put it in his pocket making sure it was safe before going in.

“She believes in you. You can do it, Park Jisung,” he told himself and then he went on to his first class.

School went by and it wasn't as horrible as he thought. There was a new student, who introduced himself as Chenle—he was a transfer student from China. Jisung took this as an opportunity, he went and introduced himself and helped him throughout the whole day, making sure the new kid knew where his classes were, who his teachers were etcetera… He made sure to make a good impression hoping that Chenle would want to see and talk to him again.

The last bell rang and Jisung grabbed his things. He went to his locker, put away some books and grabbed the ones that he needed. He said goodbye to Chenle and went to his school's exit.

“Jisung!” You waved your hand so he would be able to see you.

He smiled to himself and he jogged to be by your side.

“So, how was school?”

Jisung told you everything about his hopefully new friend and the way you looked at him, made his little heart race. He was so happy not only because he was able to talk to someone but because you were so proud of him. After his little ramble he asked about your day, you told him about how boring it was and how teachers were already nagging you about your twin. You also told him about your new friends and about the classes you were excited for.

“Well here we are,” you said while stopping by Jisung's house first. “See you tomorrow.” You gave him a smile and fixed your hair once again, making Jisung notice about your missing bracelet.

“Wait!” He noticed he yelled so he cleared his throat to play it off. “Here.” He reached for his pocket and got the bracelet out. “It fell this morning so I kept it with me to give it back, I know how much it means to you.”

“Oh my god, my bracelet!” You grabbed it and quickly put it on so it won't fall again. “Thank you so much! You literally saved my life.” You hugged him tightly, not being able to know how else you can express your gratitude.

When your arms surrounded Jisung, he couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy, he knew his cheeks were red and he really hoped you didn't notice how fast his heart was racing. He hugged you back and it felt nice. Your hair smelled like vanilla, your perfume like roses, you engulfed him but he didn't care, he was happy to drown in your embrace.

After breaking the hug you said goodbye once again, you thanked him and finally, you gave him a little kiss on his cheek. He watched you until you were inside your home and you closed the door; he just stood there, being dumbfounded, grabbing the cheek you pecked.

“Jisung? Aren't you coming in?” His mom snapped him out of his trance. “C’mon, food's getting cold.”

Jisung went on with his day but he couldn't stop thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about how cute you looked with your new uniform, or how good you looked with your long hair, or how your hug made him feel so soft and he definitely couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. That little kiss, that meaningless kiss that only showed your gratitude, that insignificant kiss that meant everything for him. His cheeks flush all over again no matter how many times he thought about it.

He was on his bed, trying to sleep, but he was wide awake, his chest heavy and his mind was empty, only you in it. He didn't understand why. Why was he thinking so much about his friend? Why did that hug feel so nice? Why did that kiss make him so flustered? Why couldn't he get you out of his mind? Or maybe he knew, maybe he had known for a while but he didn't want to admit it…

“Oh no…”

He was 15 years old when he realized he was in love with you.

It was the beginning of the second semester of Jisung’s first highschool year, he was still a freshman while you were in your junior year. You were quite popular alongside your brother, having friends in all the years, especially seniors, therefore you were always invited to the parties. This year you invited Jisung to one alongside his friend Chenle, it was his first time attending a party from upperclassmen. He was making sure his hair looked nice, and that his outfit seemed neat, he was nervous as always.

“Stop, you're gonna mess your hair even more,” Chenle said with a mocking tone.

“Oh no, my hair looks messy?” Chenle let out a big laugh by seeing his scared eyes.

“I was joking, geez.”

“You're such an asshole, you know how nervous I get when I'm with her.”

“I know, because you love her.” Chenle’s singsong tone made Jisung even angrier.

“I don't love her.”

“Oh please, yes you do! You're so in love with her, it's painful to watch, dude.”

Jisung was about to say something but he was stopped by the sound of his doorbell.

“Jisung! Y/n is here, hurry!” his mom shouted from downstairs.

They quickly grabbed their stuff and they went downstairs. He stopped midway by seeing you, being totally enamoured by the sight of you. You put makeup on, enhancing your beauty, the gloss made your lips look plumper—he could only think of how much he wanted to kiss them. You cut your hair after years of having it long, he thought you looked adorable but somehow you also looked a little more mature, as if having long hair gave you a kind of child-like aura. Your outfit was heavily planned but it seemed effortless and he smiled seeing you were wearing the jacket he gifted you for your last birthday.

“Wow,” he whispered to himself. You landed your eyes on him and his heart skipped a beat.

“C'mon Sung, Hyuck is waiting and you know how whiny he can get.” He snapped out of his trance and followed you out after saying goodbye to his mom.

“Don't worry Mrs. Park, you know I'll take good care of him.” Jisung's mom smiled. She loves the fact that you have stayed loyal to the promise you made to her 10 years ago.

As soon as you entered the car, you grabbed the aux cord and started playing one of your playlist, making your twin nag and try to steal the cord from you. You turned the volume knob so you wouldn't be able to hear him, making the younger ones laugh and your twin to stick his tongue out to you; you answered the same way, a thing you have done ever since you were little.

You sang all the way to the house, laughing at your horrible voice but you didn't care, you still sang with all of your energy. Haechan parked the car and you entered the party together, your twin was quick to disappear making Jisung nervous but when he felt your hand in his, rubbing his knuckles like you always do, he could feel his heart easing down, it also helped seeing Jaemin and Renjun. They were Haechan's friends first but since Jisung hung out with you two almost everyday, they eventually became his friends as well.

You never left Jisung's side, you know he can get really nervous whenever he's in a new social situation, and a senior party is a very wild place to be, one that you know Jisung is not really used to. You took Chenle and Jisung to the dance floor, you gave them stuff to drink -not alcohol because you know Mrs. Park would kill you-, you introduced them to your friends and you made sure they were feeling comfortable.

While you were doing all of that, Jisung couldn't stop looking at you, being so grateful to you for not leaving them; everyone noticed his heart eyes towards you but no one said anything about it, instead they planned a little something.

“Let's play spin the bottle!” Jaemin said with excitement while he shook the empty bottle in his hand.

“For real? What are we, five?” you said, mocking him.

“C'mon y/n, don't be like that, it'll be fun.” Yeji, your other best friend besides Jisung, nudged your arm and made you sit down next to her. Renjun made Jisung and Chenle sit down in front of you.

“Let 's go,” Jaemin said with a grin as he spinned the bottle.

At the end of the day you were having fun, if people weren't able to kiss they had to take a shot, seeing their faces after it made you laugh so hard; Jisung couldn't take his eyes off you.

“Okay, miss y/n, your turn.” Renjun placed the bottle in the middle and gave you a mischievous smile.

You gave the bottle a spin. Everyone was paying attention, hoping it landed on Jisung. The younger one watched the bottle spin until it stopped, everyone went quiet by seeing in who it landed.

“Guess, we have to kiss now?” you said while looking at Jeno.

“I guess we do.” He smiled and got near you.

You met him halfway and connected your lips. The kiss lasted seconds but to Jisung it seemed hours. He despised every moment of it and a sigh of relief left his lips when you two broke the kiss. He gave Jeno a death glare. He hated him and he wanted him to disappear forever. When he looked at you his heart sank. His hope was gone. He started shaking slightly out of fear. You were happy, hell, more than happy. You were thrilled. Your eyes were glowing with eagerness, they only glowed like that when you were really excited or when you were overwhelmed in the best way possible. You liked Jeno, even if you weren't aware of it yet Jisung knew because he knew you better than himself. He knew all of your mannerisms, your habits and after 10 years of friendship he was an expert at reading your eyes. It broke him knowing you were glowing because of Jeno, and not because of him.

“I have to go and get some fresh air, my head is starting to ache,” he announced. Not that many were paying attention to him anyway.

He quickly stood up and went to the backyard of the house. The party was there too, but the music wasn't as loud, and it wasn't as crowded. He found a lonely corner and he went there for a little while, thinking about why it hurt so much if it was only a little crush, a little crush that had been going strong for 5 years now.

“Oh no,” he said when it hit him. “Oh no, please no.” He massaged his temples, maybe that would help with the now real headache that was happening. “Fucking hell, why me?” He said looking up, asking the stars for an answer. “Why would you do this to me?” He looked directly at the moon who looked beautiful as always, trying to find comfort but it didn't work; she had always been helpful but that night, that night it felt as if she was mocking him and it didn't help the fact that it was in a waxing crescent. She was smiling down at him, it seemed as if she was laughing.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Ah! Fuck!” He jumped on his spot and put a hand on his chest trying to control his racing heart. “Don't do that, you scared the shit out of me!” He smacked Chenle's arm while the other tried to control his laughter.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he said in between giggles. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

“Well you stormed out of the room, and then I caught you talking to yourself outloud. I don't know how to tell you this but that's not normal dude.” The mocking tone in his voice made the younger one roll his eyes.

“I knew that.”

“As much as I love making fun of your antics, can you tell me what's wrong? Is it because y/n kissed Jeno?” Jisung stayed quiet but he didn't have to say anything, his face, especially his eyes gave away the answer. “Of course it's that.” Chenle looked up and a sigh left his lips. “It's just a stupid game Jisung, don't take it seriously.”

“No, you don't know her like I do, you didn't notice but it meant more to her, it was more than just a stupid kiss to her.” He looked down and his hand found its way to his eyes, in an attempt to stop the tears from coming down. “You couldn't see it but her eyes screamed with excitement. Ugh! This is bad! This is terrible!” His hands proceeded to pass through his hair, messing it up but at this point, the boy didn't care if it was messy or not.

“Oh, c'mon dude, calm down.”

“I can't because you were right.”

“About what?”

“I do love her.”

“What?” The confusion was evident in his face, but then it hit him. “Holy shit! Are you for real? Bro I was joking, like I knew you had a big crush on her but I never thought it was this serious.”

“Yeah, I thought so too but seeing her kiss Jeno.” He rubbed his eyes and then he let out a tired sigh. “It made me so angry? No, is not that. Sad?”

“Disappointed,” Chenle finished his sentence. He always knew what Jisung meant even when Jisung himself couldn’t find the right word.

“Yeah. I felt my heart sink, it broke me a little.”

“Shit, dude.”

“I know.” He leaned on the wall and slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor.

Chenle sat down by his side, he sneaked his arm around Jisung's shoulders and patted him softly, trying to comfort his friend.

“Tell her.”

“What?”

“About how you feel.”

“Are you stupid? No way, she will never feel the same. She only sees me as her neighbour.”

“Oh, c'mon, you know that's not true. She hates it when you say that, you're her friend.”

“Exactly, we're friends, I don't want to ruin that.”

“What makes you so sure it will ruin your friendship?”

“Because she won't reciprocate my feelings and then it will be awkward and little by little, we will drift apart and I don't want that, I can't have that.” He was exhausted.

“It will be okay dude.” Chenle hugged him.

“No it won't.” He looked up once again.

The moon was no longer mocking him, she was inconsolable. She knew how heartbroken the boy was and it made her angry not knowing how to comfort him. She had been helpful towards the boy for years now, always making him feel safe whenever he sought calmness, but tonight she cried alongside him.

He was 16 years old when he got in a fight.

You and Jeno were going strong, almost a year has passed since that party and 10 months since you started dating.

He hated every single second of it. It broke him having to hear you talk about how dreamy he was, and how he's the best boyfriend and the worst thing is that he wanted to hate him, but he couldn't. He made you so happy, and that was what mattered. He suffered but seeing your smile was worth all the pain.

Your graduation was coming, meaning prom was just around the corner. Of course you got Jisung and Chenle tickets, you wanted to spend the night with the people closest to you. It was going to be the perfect night, you made sure of it. In fact the only reason why you wanted to be president of the student council was to have full control of prom night; no one was going to ruin your special night.

You ran down the stairs the second you heard the ringbell. You opened the door and Jisung was there, waiting for you.

“Jesus, Jisung, hurry up!” You dragged him inside by his arm, making him lose his balance and almost falling. “We don't have much time!” He straightened his position and acted as if nothing happened.

“Isn't it at like 9?” he asked, confused.

“Yeah, so what?”

“Y/n, it's 2pm, I think we have plenty of time.” There was a mocking tone in his voice, making you death glare at him, his smile disappeared in seconds.

“We have to go pick up your suit and Hyuck's, then my dress, then I have to come back here to drop both of you off, then I have to go to my hair and makeup appointment and then come back once again to finish getting ready, plus I have to be like an hour early since I'm the president.”

“Why do you have to drop us off? We'll go with you.”

“Really? You don't mind?”

“Not at all, it'll save us lots of time.”

“Thank you.” Your eyes were soft and the gratitude was evident in your tone. “Okay then let's go. Lee Donghyuck get your ass down now!” Jisung covered his ears, he didn't expect that scream. “Shit, sorry.” You laughed, making him smile.

“Dude, don't scream!” Haechan made an act of presence. “I'm here, don't get all crazy, geez.”

“Stop whining and get your ass moving.” And it only took one glare to make him silent and obedient.

You may look like your dad but you had the same glare as your mom, making your brother very scared of you. This always made Jisung laugh, he never gets to see Haechan like this, so it's a treasure when he witnesses it.

“What are you laughing about? Move!” you said with a stern tone.

“Yes, ma'am.” He saluted and finally got out of the house.

Both of you were halfway to the car when you noticed Haechan was still at the entrance, picking up the mail.

“Hyuck, it's not the time! Move!”

“It has the logo of The University of Sydney.” He showed a medium size envelope. “This is it y/n.” The colour left your face, your heart dropped to your stomach, you started shaking and your legs went limp.

You went on a family vacation to Australia a few years ago and you loved every second of it. You automatically fell in love with Sydney and when you visited the university's campus with your brother you knew you had to attend that school. It had the best program for you, the classes were amazing with very famous professors. It was your perfect school.

Inside that envelope was the answer to your future. It stated if you were accepted into your dream college or if you were rejected; only the thought of not being able to go made you dizzy. You lost your balance but thank god for Jisung who was fast enough to catch you.

“I can't, you do it.” You looked at your brother with pleading eyes. Your lips and throat went dry, making your voice sound out a little broken.

“No fucking way!” Haechan refused immediately and got closer to Jisung. “You do it.” He handed him the envelope and Jisung was hesitant to take it.

“I don't know if I should.”

“Please, for me? I can't bring myself to do it, Sung.” He looked at you and he melted; your eyes were literally begging him, how could he say no?

“Fine.” He let go of you with delicacy and grabbed the envelope.

He opened it and took out the letter slowly, afraid that it might rip if he hurried. All eyes were on him while he read the inside, no one could decipher what it said, his face was expressionless. Jisung read it slowly, making sure to comprehend what it said, to save himself the confusion and a possible breakdown from you if he said anything wrong. It's been only a few minutes but to everyone it felt like hours, you wanted to know but at the same time you didn't. You can't be rejected if you never knew the contents of the letter, right? Your brother, on the other hand, was impatient.

“Say something already!” He startled everyone with his loud scream.

Jisung looked at you with a little smile on his lips. He didn't have to say anything, you knew by looking into his eyes that everything was okay. You laughed and your eyes started to water and you were quick to engulf the younger one in your embrace. He held you close, savouring the moment since it may be one of the lasts for a long time.

“Why are you hugging? Holy shit y/n, are you crying? What's going on?!”

“She got in.” The look on his eyes was filled with pride and happiness.

He knew how hard you worked for this. He was there pulling all nighters by your side, being your number one hype man, having your back in the highs and lows. Jisung was there for you throughout the whole journey and to be honest, you couldn't imagine anyone else by your side, you were glad it was him.

“Holy shit!” Your brother took you in his arms and hugged you, while making you jump and spin around together. “I'm so proud of you! You're going abroad! You're gonna live by yourself! You're getting everything you’ve always dreamed of!”

“I know!” You match your brother's excited tone. “I gotta tell Jeno.” And just like that, Jisung's smile disappeared. Good for him that you didn't notice.

After telling Jeno, your parents and Jisung's parents you finally went on with your day, and the busy schedule that you had ahead.

After picking up the suits you went to pick up your dress. It was beautiful, a midnight blue dress with a subtle glitter to it, making it look like the night sky, it was backless and it had spaghetti straps. You didn't know this but Jisung convinced your mom to tell him the colour of your dress so he could buy the same colour tie. He wasn't going to be your date, but the least he wanted was to match. Then it was the hair and makeup appointment, Jisung and Haechan went to a nearby cafe to kill time while they waited for you, it was going to take a while.

“How are you feeling?” he asked your brother when they're sitting down with some coffee and pastries.

“A little bored but you know once we arrive at the party I'll be the star of the night.” A smirk on his lips, making the younger one laugh.

“I meant, how do you feel knowing she's going away?” Haechan's smile disappeared and his eyes lost their playful glint.

“I'm happy for her.” He meant it but his voice had a bitter tone.

“Come on dude, it's me.” Haechan looked at him and found comfort in his eyes. In that moment he finally realised why you always did it, Jisung had the ability to let everyone feel at ease just by looking into his eyes.

He lets out a sigh before speaking.

“I'm happy for her, I really am but…” He played with the spoon of his drink, to calm his nerves. “I'm really gonna miss her…”

“Yeah, me too.”

“No, Jisung you don't get it.” His tone was quickly changed for a serious one, his eyes went from sorrow to anger in a matter of seconds and his jaw tensed. “She has been by my side literally my whole life, she's my other half… We're the sun and the moon… How am I going to live without her here with me?”

“Hey, it'll be okay, it's not like she's gone forever.” The younger one talked with his softest voice. “She's gonna visit and you know she'll come back. She will never leave you behind, at the end of the day, you are her other half as well.”

“Yeah I guess…” He finally looked up from his drink. “Thanks, Jisung.”

“No problem.” He gave him a smile which was reciprocated quickly and Haechan's eyes came back to being soft and happy again.

A little while went by when you appeared at the coffee shop all dolled up. You looked beautiful; your hair was styled making your face look even prettier and the make up was perfect, it accentuated your features. Jisung couldn't take his eyes off of you. He was hypnotised, and being honest, he didn't want to be freed from your spell.

“Holy shit dude,” your brother let out. “You look really pretty.”

“Wow, you really mean that?” The nervousness was evident in your voice.

You weren't really sure about your makeup, you felt as if it was too much, and it made you feel a little insecure. The shades of colour that the woman picked weren't exactly in your comfort zone but you trusted her because at the end of the day, she was the expert.

“Hundred percent! You look stunning! Right, Jisung?” He elbowed the younger one, trying to find support from him.

Jisung was caught off guard since he was paying his undying attention to you. He snapped out of it and he went silent for a second. His cheeks were red, his mouth went dry and his hands were slightly shaking.

“Yes, you look stunning.” His voice was almost nonexistent, he was afraid you weren't able to hear him but the smile on your face and the slight blush creeping up gave it away.

“Thanks, Sungie.” The softness in your voice made him lightheaded. “Let's move, we still have to go home and finish.”

The way back home was fun. You had the best taste in music and a talent of always picking the perfect songs for the right moment. The vibes were never off when you were the one in control of the music.

When you arrived everyone went to their respective homes, you gave them until 7:45 to be ready or else you would leave without them, your glare made them both know you were dead serious.

Jisung was in his room, he already had his suit on and once again he was struggling with his tie, he never got the hang of it. After failing for the fifth time he let out a tired sigh and went to his mom. He peeped his head into his parents room and found his mom in her bed reading a book. His dad was nowhere to be seen since he was out on a business trip.

“What's up Jisung?” She didn't even have to look up, she felt her son's presence in a second.

“Can you help me with my tie?” He was a little embarrassed when it hit him. He was a 16 year old boy who still needed help from his mom. It was quite adorable, really.

“Of course, baby.” Her mocking tone made his cheeks get redder.

“Ugh mom!” She laughed by hearing his whining and that made him smile.

She got up and went closer to her son. She made the knot smoothly. Jisung was amazed with the fastness and how easy she made it look. His mom fixed his tie, then his collar and finally his blazer. He looked dashing, his hair was styled away from his forehead and she was proud knowing it was all his doing.

“You look so handsome.”

“Thanks, mom.” The shyness was evident in his voice and he scratched the nape of his neck.

“So…”

“So… ?” he asked, confused.

“Is this the night?”

“The night of what?”

“The night you confess your feelings for y/n?”

“Oh my god, mom!” He was sick and tired of hearing this.

His mom found out about his crush on you even before he even realised, and she has insisted her son to confess for years now. She rooted for you knowing how enamoured he was, she also knew you had certain feelings for him, even though you weren't aware, moms always know best.

“What?” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, looking at her son in an accusatory way.

“She has a boyfriend, and she’s going away soon. Why even bother?”

“You have loved her for years Jisung, how much longer can you keep this a secret?”

“As long as necessary.” His serious tone made her mom sighed. “It's her night, I don't want to ruin it.”

“Fine.” He noticed the sadness in her eyes and he was quick to hug her.

“It's okay mom, I'm okay,” he whispered and his mom tightened the hug.

“Go, or you'll be late.”

He broke the embrace, he gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek and he finally got out. He went back to his room and checked himself on the mirror one last time. He fixed a stray hair, he put on some rings, his watch (which you gifted him), a necklace and then he covered himself with some perfume (one that he knew was your favourite). He said goodbye to his mom and got out of the house.

He was surprised by the presence of Jeno at your entrance, and he was even more surprised seeing him hesitating on whether he should knock or not.

“Hey,” he said, startling the older one. Fuck, he looked good.

“Jisung, hey.” Jisung did not miss the nervous tone and his eyes were shaking, something was off with Lee Jeno, and he was going to discover what. “You look good.”

“Thanks, you too.” It hurt him saying that, knowing damn well you were gonna fall all over again for your boyfriend. “C'mon, let's get inside.” He just opened the door. It wasn't a surprise, Jisung has been coming here since he was five, it's his second home.

“I'm here!” he announced his presence so no one worries. “Jeno hyung is here too.”

“How did you get in?” Haechan was fixing his tie while coming down the stairs and he looked at Jeno confused.

“Jisung.” Jeno pointed at the younger one

“You gotta stop doing that dude,” he laughed while finally standing beside his friends.

“I will when you stop doing the same at my house.” The younger one said in a challenging manner.

“Okay fine, you win.” Haechan lifted his hands up in a sign of defeat.

“You're ready to go?” Your voice made the three guys turn their heads.

Every single one of them went silent by the sight of you. You looked absolutely stunning. The dress fitted your body in all the right places as if it was meant to be worn by you and it made your moles visible making your skin look like a starry night. The make up was perfect and your hair was also perfect, you looked perfect. Jisung's heart was racing and he was sure everyone could hear it, he couldn't take his eyes off of you, his mouth was dry and his hands were clammy.

“Wow!” Jeno was the first one to break the silence. “Holy fuck, you look stunning! I can't believe this gorgeous woman is mine!” You could feel the heat come to your face, your smile was wide and the shyness was very evident.

“Stop!” You hid your face.

“Hey don't do that, people deserve to see your beauty.” Jeno took your hands off and he let out a sigh. “Fuck,” he whispered, he cupped your cheeks with his hands and then he kissed you.

Jisung looked away with teary eyes, oh how he wished that was him.

“Sorry, I couldn't help myself,” Jeno said after breaking the kiss.

“It's okay,” you whispered. Your cheeks were on fire and your eyes were shining like a galaxy.

“Okay love birds, it's time to go.” Haechan was the first to speak after that scene. “C'mon, y/n! You were hurrying us before, move!”

“I'll kill you Hyuck.” Your voice was serious and once again, your brother lifted his hands up.

“Sorry.” And then he got out of the house.

Jeno followed him out and you were left with Jisung. You looked at him and frowned by seeing his teary eyes.

“Hey, Sung.” You came closer to him, you grabbed his hand and started caressing his knuckles with your thumb, like you always do. “What 's wrong?”

“Sorry it's just that, you look so pretty.” It may have been a half-assed lie but as long as you're happy. “And I'm happy I get to be with you during this night.”

“Of course.” Your voice was soft and your touch was delicate. “You're my best friend, of course I wanted you here, with me, during this very important night.” He let out a sad giggle. “C'mon let's go.” You didn't let go of his hand throughout the whole ride to prom.

When you arrived, Haechan and Jisung went to the gym to kill time while you made sure everything was perfect, Jeno went with you. Jisung couldn't stop looking at the both of you; you looked perfect and he loved seeing you in your president role, but Jeno, Jeno looked nervous. He followed you everywhere but he did it silently, he wasn't by your side, holding your waist like he usually does but instead he was behind you. He noticed how he was spacing out, in all this time knowing Jeno, he has never been caught off guard.

Time passed by and the party finally started. You were at the door receiving and greeting everyone while your friends and brother danced together but after a while you decided it was time to drop formalities and have fun, so you went with your friends and started dancing.

After a while you were called, it was time to announce the prom king and queen. You excused yourself and went backstage to prepare everything and made sure everything was perfect. You went up on stage, grabbed a microphone and asked for the band to turn it down a bit, making everyone whine a little but the moment they saw you up stage they knew what was happening.

“Hello everyone, are you having a good time?” The crowd answered with whoops of excitement, which made your smile grow wider. “I'm glad to hear you're having fun. Well it's that time of the night.” You showed the envelope that was in your hands and the screams were louder this time. “Inside this envelope are the names of your next prom king and queen, are you ready?”

“Yes!” everyone answered in unison, making you laugh.

“Your prom king is…” You stopped to make a pause to build up the excitement. It also bought you a little time to open the envelope. You smile by reading the name in the piece of paper, feeling proud. “Lee Jeno!” Everyone shouted and started congratulating Jeno while he walked towards the stage.

You gave him the ribbon that said “Prom King”, a little sceptre and you finally placed the crown on his head. You congratulated him and kissed him, not caring about all the viewers.

“Okay now, the title that actually matters.” People laughed once again, making you feel a little proud, you have rehearsed that line for a month now. “And your prom queen is…” The drummer made a drum roll to build up tension and for you to read the words on the piece of paper. You smile once again. “Hwang Yeji!”

Your best friend was shocked, she didn't expect it, making the moment more genuine. Jaemin, her date, walked her through the crowd and helped her up on stage since she was still in shock. You put on the ribbon and gave her the sceptre. After crowning her you hugged her tightly.

“Congratulations babe, I'm so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” She broke the hug and waved at the audience, making them shout even louder for her.

“Okay now it's time for the king and queen's waltz so please clear the dance floor.”

People moved and the centre of the dance floor was empty. Jeno, Yeji and you got off of stage, you were quick to move aside, giving your boyfriend and friend the space so they could go and dance. You were puzzled by seeing them coming towards you and Jaemin.

“Actually.” Jeno extended his hand towards you while Yeji and Jaemin went together to the dance floor. “Will you grant me this dance, beautiful lady?”

“But you're supposed to dance with the queen, I'm not the queen.” Even though you're giving him reasons not to, you took his hand, and you let him guide you to join your friends.

“You are my queen.” You couldn't help but feel your cheeks warm. “And besides, I really doubt people will say something about it, at the end of the day, I'm the king, and you're their president.” You both laughed and finally made it to the centre of the dance floor.

You looked like the perfect couple to everyone that was watching. You and Jeno were described by your classmates as the perfect match, or a match made in heaven. To everyone, you were meant to be.

Jisung watched you from afar, being overwhelmed by all his emotions. He was admiring you and at the same time he was being jealous of Jeno, he couldn't help but feel all his love for you overflowing his heart while all of his rage went towards Jeno. He felt so happy for you, seeing that you're enjoying the night but he despised the fact that you weren't with him. And he hated himself, he hated himself for being a coward and not telling you about his feelings, because now he is suffering the consequences. It was easy for him when you were single because in a way, he still had a chance, but when you got together with Jeno, all the hope he had (which wasn't much) was gone, crushed.

He couldn't bear to look at you two anymore so he ran off out of there. He couldn't see how Jeno came close to your ear and asked you to go and talk outside. Jisung went into the first classroom, the tears were falling by themselves, he wanted them to stop but it was pointless, his heart was way too broken, the only thing it could do to fix itself was crying. His vision was blurry because of the tears so he didn't see you and Jeno coming in. He was on the other side of the room and the lights were off so he was almost invisible, neither Jeno or you noticed the younger one. Jisung hid himself when he heard the door being closed.

“What did you want to talk about?” He froze even more on his spot by hearing your voice. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop someone's conversation but it was you.

“It's about you leaving.” Jeno's voice was really low, Jisung could barely hear it. “You know how we talked about it at the start of our relationship, you said if I felt comfortable with it we could try long distance.”

“Yeah?” Your tone was worried, Jisung could picture you perfectly, fidgeting with your bracelet.

“I don't think I can do it.” You could hear the pain in Jeno's voice and so did Jisung, even though he didn't like him, he empathized with him.

“I mean I told you about it today, and I'm not leaving until like 2 months, we can talk about it and figure it out. Think about it, please.” The pleading in your voice made Jisung sneak a peek.

You were holding Jeno's hands, your eyes were begging him and it made him furious. You should never be begging anyone to stay with you. To him, you deserve the best of the best. The rage was pooling inside of him, he almost came out and confronted Jeno.

“The thing is that I have, ever since you told me you were planning on going away I've been thinking about it. I tried y/n, I really tried but I can't.” Jisung noticed your eyes watering, his hands were in fists to the point where his knuckles were white. “I love you so much but not enough to wait for you.” In that moment you could feel your heart break, the tears streamed down automatically. Jisung couldn't contain himself anymore and he came out.

“You fucking asshole!” And after that he punched Jeno in the face, making his lip bleed. “How fucking dare you!?” And another, he could hear your screaming but he was blinded by rage. “You don't love her enough!? Then you never loved her in the first place!” And another, and another and another.

“Jisung, stop! Are you insane!?” You tried to grab him but it was useless.

Jeno was taken back at first but when the surprise passed he grabbed Jisung's hand and then he hit him back, so the fight started being reciprocated.

Jisung had the advantage since Jeno was surprised by the attack but as soon as the older one gained consciousness, Jisung started to get in trouble. Of course he knew Jeno was stronger and better, but he didn't care, he was furious. Jeno didn't appreciate you enough to try, he didn't realise how lucky he was for having you by his side, he wasn't willing to sacrifice for you the way he was. Because Jisung would do anything if it meant being by your side.

“Stop! Stop it!” You somehow got a grip on Jeno's arm and yanked him away from Jisung. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?! Are you animals!?” You were furious, Jisung has known you for years and he has never seen you this angry.

Jisung was trying to regulate his breathing as well as Jeno, none of them dared to look at you. But, you looked at both of them, feeling disappointed and heartbroken. You looked at Jisung, his nose was bleeding, his right eye started to get black and his left eyebrow was also bleeding; you looked at Jeno, his lip was bleeding and his cheekbone was red. You let out a sigh before speaking.

“Jeno, I think you should leave.” He looked at you in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Do I look like I'm fucking kidding?” Your tone was stone cold, you have never spoken like that to him before, and it affected him. In that moment he realised how much he has hurt you.

He got up and left, none of you noticed but his eyes started to water and when he closed the door, his tears were mixing with the blood.

You broke down after seeing him leave. You couldn't hold it anymore and you just let go. You covered your mouth trying to keep it as silent as possible. You knew there was a big possibility that you and Jeno would break up if you were accepted, but you never thought Jeno would say that to you. “I love you but not enough…” It would have hurt less if he just said he hated you.

“Y/n,” Jisung said in the softest voice while he got closer to you.

“Shut up.” Your voice was broken but the anger was very noticeable. “I am furious at you so shut the fuck up and get your ass to the infirmary.” You didn't move, therefore he didn't. “Now!”

He obeyed immediately and started his way. You just needed a little time alone to get yourself together, a lot happened in a span of 10 minutes. Your boyfriend broke up with you and told you that he didn't love you enough, you're best friend heard all of it which was humiliating enough by itself, the last thing you wanted was for someone else to know; your best friend started a fight with your now ex-boyfriend and now he was on his way towards the infirmary so you could cure his wounds. Not exactly the plans you had for your prom night. You let out a last sigh, you wiped your tears away and you got out of there.

Jisung perked up in his position when he saw the door being opened and his cheeks got redder by seeing you walk in. You didn't say anything, you just went to get the stuff you needed to cure him. He looked at every move you did, he was angry at himself for causing such a scene on your prom night but he didn't regret it; if he had to, he would do it again, as many times as necessary.

He hissed when he felt the cotton swab on his injury.

“Does it hurt?” you asked in a low tone, but it was expressionless.

“It stings a little.”

“Good.”

“That's mean,” he whispered but you heard.

“I'm sorry, I'm just really mad.” He lowered his head but you made him look up again since you were treating his eyebrow's cut. “What the fuck were you thinking Park Jisung?”

“I wasn't, that's the thing.”

“What were you doing there anyway?” He panicked for a second.

“I got a little overwhelmed, I needed some air I guess.” He hated lying to you but he needed to.

“Why did you hit him?”

“Because of what he said.” His voice turns deeper, surprising you. His voice was deep but you have never heard it reach that tone. “How could he say that? He didn't know he was the luckiest guy for having you by his side, it made me furious hearing how ungrateful he was, and how much of an asshole he was to you.” You stopped treating his injury but he didn't seem to mind. “What he said was awful but when I saw how hurt you were, I couldn't let him get away like that, rage took over me.” He finally looked at you.

You tried to fight back the smile that was trying to come out by seeing how soft his eyes were, they were holding the whole galaxy, and for him they did, since he was looking at you.

“I know it was stupid since Jeno is way stronger than me but I didn't care, he hurt you and I needed to do something about it.” You hold his hands and you rub your thumb through his knuckles, he smiled while looking at the little action. “I am sorry for ruining your night but I don't regret it.”

“You don't?”

“No.”

“You're a dumbass, you know that right?”

“That 's mean.”

“Well I get to be mean.” You continued cleaning his wounds. “I'm stuck here with you instead of enjoying my prom night.”

“I'm sorry.” He lowered his head once again, his voice was full of shame and his cheeks turned red.

“Hey, I'm kidding.” You giggled softly while lifting his head up. “It was already ruined when Jeno decided to break up with me. Which was a very dick move of his, he could've at least waited for tomorrow to do it.” You giggled.

“Asshole,” Jisung said automatically, making you laugh even harder.

You finished cleaning his eyebrow wound and put on some ointment for the soreness and to help with the bruising. You then continued with the one on his lower lip. His usually plumped lip was even more swollen and it was starting to turn a subtle shade of blue and purple. He hissed once again by feeling the cotton swab with alcohol but you seemed to not care, you just focused on cleaning.

“Thank you, by the way,” you said after a while. “I'm still mad as fuck but thank you for defending me like that.” He looked at you and he fell in love all over again.

The lights of the room were off because you didn't need them, the windows did a perfect job at bringing the light from the moon and the lamp posts from outside. The moonlight hit your face in all the right places, making you look ethereal and even though you have been dancing all night and you cried, your makeup and hair were almost intact; a little out of place but you still looked as beautiful as the start of the night. Jisung could notice the anger in your eyes but he also noticed the worry, no matter how furious you were you couldn't help but worry about him.

He didn't realise what he was doing. For the second time that night, Jisung was moving out of instinct, his heart taking control instead of his brain. He got closer and closer towards you, his lips being pulled automatically towards yours as if they were magnets. And then he kissed you. It was quick and innocent, his lips barely touched yours since he snapped out of his trance but he kissed you.

Both of you were surprised, none of you knew what happened exactly. You could feel the heat coming up to your cheeks and your eyes were wide open. Jisung's heart was racing at a very concerning speed and his head was spinning. He tried to talk, tried to explain but nothing was coming out of his lips.

“Sorry, I lost my balance for a sec, maybe Jeno hit me in the head because I kind of feel a little dizzy.” He faced palmed himself in his imagination, what a shitty excuse but he couldn't come up with something better.

“Oh,” was the only thing that you could say. “No worries.”

After that you finished treating his wounds in dead silence. Jisung was cursing himself in his head. You didn't know what to think exactly, but you knew one thing for sure, you were tired.

Once you were done you came back to the gym and picked your things. You explained the situation to Yeji and begged her no to tell your brother since you knew he would cause a scene, and you didn't want to deal with that, you didn't want to deal with anything anymore. She hugged you and told you she was gonna take care of everything for you, and then she kissed your forehead before saying goodbye. After that you went to your brother to ask him for the keys, you used the tired excuse and he gave in, not because he believed you but because he was having way too much fun to care. You envied him, you envied everyone who was having fun.

When you got out of the gym you were surprised to see Jisung waiting for you by the car. He was leaning on it, his tie was loose, he took the jacket off and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, he looked pretty handsome.

“What are you doing?” You unlocked the car and opened the door.

“I'm going with you,” he says with an obvious tone.

“C'mon Jisung, go back inside and have fun.”

“I don't want to go inside, I want to spend the night with you, like you wanted.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said you wanted to spend the night with the people you're closest to, and not to toot my own horn but, I'm pretty sure that after Haechan hyung, I'm the one closest to you.” You laughed at his antics.

“Okay fine, you win. Get inside.”

“Yes!” He put his fist up in a sign of victory and got inside.

The drive back home was calm. The music was lower than you typically play it, the windows were down and the air was chilly but you didn't care. You stopped at a red light and turned your head towards the younger boy, he was looking out the window. Maybe your night was ruined but seeing him by your side, admiring the night sky while softly singing the songs made you realise you couldn't have asked for a better ending to the night.

He was 18 year old when he entered university

It was the first time Jisung was walking alone to school ever since he was 5. You’re studying abroad, Haechan had a different schedule than him and Chenle lived in a whole other neighbourhood, which was closer to the school.

He felt alone and lost, he had ever since he said goodbye to you at the airport. You were gone and he didn't know what to do. He tried to distract himself, he started saying yes to everything Chenle had invited him to and he also hung out with Jaemin, Renjun and Haechan. He tried to avoid your house though, it hurt even seeing it from across the street knowing damn well you weren't there.

After the prom, everything was really weird. Jeno had broken up with you, so you weren't the happiest and there was a weird air between you two after the kiss that had happened. It was merely a peck but it happened and it made Jisung act even more nervous around you and it made you confused.

You didn't know how to feel, you didn't know what to think exactly. Was it really just a mistake? Did he mean to kiss you? Was it just the heat of the moment? Your head spinned for months. You were so confused, you found comfort knowing you were leaving soon. Away from all the drama and confusion.

You kept to yourself the rest of the time you had left at home, focusing on packing and making sure you had everything for your visa and other stuff you needed for school, also hiding the stuff you didn't want your twin to take once you were gone. You barely saw anyone, you never left your room unless it was really necessary; even your own family barely saw you and they lived with you. You were breaking Jisung´s heart without knowing, the younger one just wanted to spend as much time as he could with you but he loved you, and he was gonna respect your wish for privacy.

You and Jisung were barely speaking. You used university as an excuse but he knew it was something else and he didn't blame you. You were desolate because of Jeno, hell, you were heartbroken and he knew the last thing you needed was another boy to mess with your feelings (not that he would). You also had to focus on your school and he didn't want to admit it but he knew his actions on that prom night confused you and he hated himself for it. The last thing he wanted was for things to be awkward between you two, he just wanted to be with you and he missed you like crazy; your absence really took a toll on him.

You weren't able to come home during your winter and summer break, you joined too many clubs and you also joined the student council at your university; saying you were busy was nothing, you were swamped with work. You did this on purpose though, you made yourself as busy as possible so you wouldn't have to deal with your thoughts, so you wouldn't have to face your feelings and to deal with the storm happening in your head. You may not be aware of it but Jisung knew, at the end of the day, he knew you better than anyone else.

He was halfway through his walk to university when his phone rang and he was surprised by seeing your picture on the screen, you were calling him. It was weird since you weren't speaking that much and because you hate talking on the phone so much, you prefer texting people; you only called when it was urgent or an emergency.

“Hey, Sungie.” Your voice made his heart race and he was smiling, he was so happy to hear your voice he almost cried.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He was happy but he couldn't help but worry.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it?”

“Well, you hate talking on the phone, so I thought something was wrong.” He laughed softly.

“Everything's fine, don't worry about it.” Your voice was soft but he could hear the tiredness in your tone. “Are you on your way to school right?”

“Yeah… How did you know that?” He didn't tell you about his first day, the only uni talk he has had with you was when he told you he got in, and that was it.

“Your mom called me.” He rolled his eyes by the mention of his mom.

“Of course she did.” His tone was filled with annoyance and you laughed because of it.

“Hey, give her a break, she was excited and so proud of you.”

“Still, she didn't have to worry you about it.”

“It's nothing Jisung really, I enjoyed talking to her a lot, especially since we haven't been talking that much.”

“Sorry.” He looked down and his face was filled with disappointment.

“If someone has to apologise it's me, I’m the one who has been M.I.A.”

“But I haven't made so much effort either. I wanted to give you some space.”

“Yeah I know. Thanks...” Your tone fell flat near the end, you were disappointed as well. You didn't want space, not from him at least.

“Why are you calling though? You never call.”

“Oh, yeah, well…I wanted to keep the tradition going somehow.” You let out a nervous laugh and even though he couldn't see you, he knew you were fidgeting with your bracelet. “I didn't want you to walk to school alone.”

“I'm really thankful, but don't you have classes? If you're skipping them I swear I’ll go to Australia myself and get your ass back to class.”

“Woah woah! Easy there tiger.” Your laughter made his heart race. “I have a free period, I'm actually getting some coffee.”

“Oh okay, good.” His cheeks turned a very bright shade of red and this was the first time he thanked the moon you weren't there to see his embarrassment.

An awkward silence fell upon you. This has never happened, not even when you were kids and meeting for the first time. You always made sure to fill in the silence but now, you didn't know how to. You hated this, you hated feeling awkward with your own best friend, the guy that you had known for 13 years.

You cursed yourself and him as well. How did you allow stuff to get so complicated? Why did he have to kiss you? You broke your head for several months trying to decipher what the hell was that. It was the only thing you could think of after that night. Not your break up, not your prom, not the fight but that stupid kiss, that stupid kiss that could barely even be considered one. Jisung only touched your lips for a mere second but it scarred you for life. You didn't know why, but that kiss meant a lot to you.

And why on earth were you glad he did? You thought about how much you wished that kiss didn’t happen but being honest, you liked it, a lot, more than you should’ve. You may be in a weird place with your best friend but if you could erase that peck you wouldn’t.

“I hate this, Sung,” you said, referring to the mess happening in your head. “I hate not being able to talk to you.” Your eyes were starting to fill with tears, thank god your voice was still stable. “I want you back, I want my best friend back, my partner, my favourite person.”

“I'm your favourite person?” He was taken back and in shock, he always thought Haechan was your favourite person, your twin, your other half, your sun.

“You’ve always been.” A tear streamed down your cheek but you were quick to wipe it. “I need you Jisung, I miss you like crazy, I want to be with you and be able to talk the way we used to. You have no idea how much I need you to hug me.” And finally your voice failed you. Jisung’s heart sank by hearing your voice break.

“Me too, you can't even begin to imagine.” He blinked rapidly trying to avoid the tears to escape his eyes.

“How did we let this happen?”

“I don't know.”

“We promised nothing was gonna change after me leaving.”

“I know.”

“Then why is everything different?”

“Because…” He wanted to tell you, he wanted to confess but the words got stuck once again. He didn't want to do it like that, during a phone call while you were kilometres away. “We're dumb?” Your laughter made the ambience lighter.

“Yes, we’re very, very dumb.” You wiped a few tears away and cleared your throat. “Let's start being smart again.”

“How?”

“We’re gonna try talking more, send a text once in a while, whenever we remember each other, like we used to.”

“Okay.”

“We could also do homework together, we could schedule a weekly video call so we can catch up, talk about our life or not talk at all.”

“I really miss you recommending songs to me,” he confessed.

“I really miss you sending me pics of the moon.” You laughed once again, making the younger one sigh heavily, he was completely enamoured by you.

“I missed your laugh.” It was a bold move from him but he felt he was gonna explode if he didn't say it.

Your cheeks were warm and you hid them with your hands even though he wasn't there. He made you feel shy, which was very rare.

“I missed your voice, is it getting deeper?”

“I don't think so.”

“It better not or else I'll lose my mind.”

“Why?” he asked curiously.

“Well you know how much of a sucker I am for a dude with a deep voice…” The verbal vomit came out by itself, you weren't aware of what you were saying until you heard nothing from the other line. “Damn, I fucked up,” you whispered but he heard you.

“No, no, it's okay, I knew that.” He cleared his throat in an attempt to calm his nervousness. “I'm sorry but it's something I can't control, you’ll just have to deal with it.” His mocking tone filled you with relief.

“I’ll try my best, but I don't make any promises.” You followed his joke up, thanking him for not making it weird again.

“I'm here,” he announced when he arrived at his school’s entrance.

“Good luck Sungie, remember that anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.”

“Thank you.” He smiled and looked down trying to hide his blush.

“Let me know when you're done so we can talk on your way back home, okay?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“I mean it, Jisung.” The seriousness in your tone gave you away.

“I know.” He let out a few giggles. “Thank you for calling me.”

“Well, you know how I am, I love our little traditions.”

“I love that you do.”

“Bye Sung, good luck.”

“Bye y/n.” And after that you hung up.

He felt a weight being lifted away from his shoulders, his heart felt lighter and he was beyond happy knowing that you two were going to be okay. It may not be exactly like it used to but it was better than nothing.

He was 19 years old when he confessed his love towards you.

After that call on his first day of university, your relationship started blooming again. You both kept your promises and started texting and calling each other more and more, just like the old times. You made several video calls where you would talk for hours, from dusk till dawn or you would stay quiet and just enjoyed each other's presence. Jisung always sent you pictures of the moon and you started sending him songs that you thought he would like, you even started making him several playlists; he always listened to them on repeat.

Winter break came and you were finally able to go back home, you noticed how much you loaded yourself with work to avoid the whole Jisung situation but since you two were fine now, you gave yourself a break. Everyone was head over heels when you told them you were coming back home after a while of not being able to. You longed to spend christmas and new years with your family but especially with Jisung, since this was the year he would finally reach age, he would be able to drink and you wanted to be there.

Your parents picked you up at the airport, both ran towards you and engulfed you in a big hug, a suffocating one actually. After a very emotional welcome from them, you finally went up to the car and made your way home. Haechan received you at the door and your father announced to you that Jisung was also there, your eyes lighted up and you were quickly to look for him, only to find him standing there waiting for you. You were surprised by looking at how much he grew, and when he spoke you felt your legs wobbling slightly by hearing his deep voice. You engulfed him in a hug and then you dragged him and your brother towards the living room to catch up. It was very late at night when Jisung had to return home, in all the time he was there you couldn’t stop looking at him, you were hypnotised.

Christmas passed by and it was one of the best you had celebrated. Your family and Jisung’s always celebrated it together, the dinner was made by your mom and Jisung’s mom while your fathers were in charge of the drinks. As always everything was wholesome and you had the best time ever.

Time passed by and new years came by, Yeji invited you to a party but you didn’t stay much since you wanted to be with Jisung on his first night as an adult, sadly when you arrived he was already drunk thanks to you brother and his friends. He took you out to the backyard and he confessed his feelings for you in his drunken state, taking you by surprise. Even though you weren’t sure about your own feelings you told him that you can figure them out together and then you kissed him properly this time. You weren’t sure why you did it but you didn’t regret it. It felt nice, it felt familiar and it made you feel warm. It was the best way to start the new year.

After that night Jisung made his life mission to help you figure out what your heart wanted. He was finally able to act according to his feelings, he didn’t hold back and made sure to prove to you that he meant every single thing he said during that new years night. He spent months clearing all of your doubts, answering all of your questions and giving you the assurance you needed. After all his efforts, support and patience you realised that you wanted Jisung, you realised that your heart longed for him.

During summer break he picked you up at the airport and asked you to be his girlfriend and you accepted gladly; you sealed the deal with a kiss full of affection, it was desperate in a way, you have yearned to feel his lips on yours once again. After that day you spend your summer by Jisung’s side, it was as if you were glued together. Wherever you went Jisung was following and vice versa.

Two months have passed, your break is almost over, meaning that you would have to go back to school very soon. Jisung, knowing this, never left your side. He wanted to spend every single moment you had left home with you.

“The summer went by so fast,” he said in a whisper while you were at the kitchen making a midnight snack; actually he was sitting while you were the one cooking, not letting him get near the kitchen since he would probably light it on fire.

“I know,” you said while dicing some veggies for your ramen. “For the first time, I'm not as excited to go back.”

“For the first time?” he asked confusedly while he stared at you.

“Yeah, I don't love leaving home but I'm always really excited to go back, living on my own and having independence, you know?” He just nodded, not knowing exactly what to answer. “I know it may sound a little selfish but I always loved going back but now, it's so different.”

“Why?”

“Because of you.” You both felt your cheeks warming up for the sudden confession. “I’m always excited to come back here and see my family, see Hyuck and my friends but ever since you confessed during new years I couldn't stop thinking about coming back home and seeing you.” Jisung stood up silently so he wouldn't interrupt you. “I wanted to hang out with you, spend time with you, see your cute face everyday, I was desperate to be with you.” You smiled while feeling his arms sneak around your waist, and you let out a soft giggle while feeling his face burning in your neck. “I yearned for you so fucking much.” He left a soft kiss on your neck, then your shoulder and your neck once again, he was drowning in your scent.

“God, I fucking love you.” It was a whisper. It was innocent and said out of instinct, he didn't even realise what he just said until you left his side.

“What!?”

“Nothing.” He was ready to leave but your hand on his wrist stopped him. You made him face you.

“That was not nothing.” He didn't dare to look at you. “What did you just say Park Jisung?” Your tone was demanding and serious, not in an aggressive way but you wanted an answer.

After a long pause he finally got the courage he needed to say those words again.

“I said that I love you.” His voice was barely a whisper but because you were alone, you were able to hear him clearly. “You don't have to say anything, I know it's way too soon to say stuff like this since we've been in a relationship for just 2 months but I have loved you since before.” Because he's looking down he didn't realise you're coming closer to him. “I'm sorry if it freaked you out and I totally understand if you want to take some time apart, to be honest, I wouldn't blame you.” He let out a soft giggle which was full of embarrassment. “I'll just go…”

You stopped him once again and he finally looked up at you. You cupped his face with your hands and you kissed him.

You kissed him softly, slowly and it's intense because of the intimacy that you were sharing in that moment—you both felt like you were the only ones in the world and that time has stopped just for you. You feel like the moon and the stars are witnessing the scene with such endearment and they look down at you with the happiest of their smiles. You savoured him, you made sure to transmit all of your feelings with that kiss, you wanted him to feel safe, at ease, at home. You wanted him to feel like the only reason he was put on earth was for that moment alone, that he was meant to be by your side, just like you were meant to be by his. You engulfed him in your arms just like he did, you wanted him closer even though you couldn't be. You were desperate for him, and your heart felt like it was going to explode from all the love that you feel for this boy.

You broke the kiss but you were still in his embrace and he was in yours; your foreheads were touching, both of you had your eyes closed, feeling each other's breaths in your faces, but neither of you seemed to mind.

“I love you too,” your tone was sure and confident. You then opened your eyes to see his reaction.

His eyes lit up and his smile was the biggest you have ever seen and if your vision isn't failing you, you think his eyes were watering.

“Really?” His voice was soft, and it broke a little because of the knot in his throat.

“Really.” You could see a little tear running down and you were quick to wipe it off with your thumb.

“Shit, sorry.” He let out a nervous giggle while he wiped yet another tear. “I'm just really fucking happy.” You couldn't help but start tearing up as well. “No wait, don't cry.” He panicked and then cupped your cheeks in between his big hands. They were cold compared to your very warm face.

“I can't help it, you know how I always cry whenever you do.” You sniffled and he laughed at you. You looked so adorable trying to hold in your tears.

He wiped your tears with such delicacy, he then proceeded to put your hair behind your ears and then he left a soft kiss on your forehead so he could finally hug you; you buried your face in his chest and he rested his chin on the top of your head.

“Just like when we were kids,” you let out and he laughed once again.

“Just like when we were kids,” he repeated, voice full of adoration.

Jisung has never been great with words but he somehow knew what to do to comfort you whenever you cried in front of him (which was very, very rare). He always started by wiping your tears away, he always did it in the softest way possible, as if you were made of glass; his fingers always felt cold against your skin but you never minded. He then helped you get your hair fixed, placing the stray strands where they belonged and then tugging some behind your ears to finally leave a little kiss on your forehead. He knew all of that was good but it wasn't enough so he would seal the deal with a hug. A hug that always felt so soft and warm, a hug that always felt familiar and comfortable, a hug that made you feel you belonged with him. You fitted in his embrace perfectly just like he fitted in yours.

You were meant to be together. It was a bumpy ride, with its highs and lows but you were meant to be. Everyone knew it, even the moon who would always watch over you two, waiting patiently. Even the stars, who would always light up your path so you could find your way to each other.

You stay like that for a while, enjoying the domestic moment, not wanting to let go until you hear the pot overflowing.

“Shit, our food!” You broke the hug and turned to the stove.

You put the pot out of the fire and you turn the flame off. The food was ruined and the kitchen was a mess.

“Man, and you said I was a terrible cook,” Jisung said with a mocking tone.

“Oh, shut up,” you said annoyedly while you try to clean up your mess. “This is all your fault.”

“My fault?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes! If you weren't being all romantic and sentimental our ramen wouldn't have died like this.”

“I'm sorry for saying that I love my girlfriend, it won't happen again.”

“Wait no, I want to hear it again.” You panicked by hearing him. “I want to hear it a million times.”

“Oh good, because I was joking,” he said while helping you clean. “Now that I've said it, now that is finally out of my system, it's the only thing that I want to say to you.”

“Good because it's the only thing that I want to hear.”

You finished cleaning up and you're quick to put your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You left a kiss on his lips and started preparing the food again.

After finishing cooking and eating together you cleaned everything once again to finally go back to your room and get some sleep. You wiggled your way back to your bed, got into position and waited for Jisung to lay down so you could finally get 100% comfortable. After waiting patiently for you, he then plopped down next to you, he pulled you closer and he buried his face in the space between your neck, he loved getting drunk in your scent.

After getting into a position where the two of you were comfortable you were quick to fall asleep, you didn't even notice you forgot to close your window´s curtains, you were gonna regret that in the morning.

The night sky was clear, the moonlight sneaked in your room giving you two the perfect glow. The moon smiled by seeing you together, she was proud to see you could finally find your way to each other. The stars were beaming even harder, they couldn't hide their happiness. They worked so hard for you and seeing you together made them shine even brighter, they were glowing.

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lixiehugs · 1 year

Text

fanmade video : moments when nct were caring and protective of mila!!

warnings : mentions of eating disorders.

a/n : hello!! welcome to my once-a-year upload piece /hj!! i say this every time i come back, but this time i feel like i might actually start writing more. i have so many writings i have been sitting on for my girlies (esp mila), and i am dying to share them!! please wait for me!!

a/n : im not even gonna lie i kinda ate with this photo like💅🏻 (JUST IGNORE HER HAIR PLEASE😭)

"hello, everyone, and welcome back to another video on my channel! this episode will be none other than the boys of nct taking care of our producer, mila!! not to be confused with mila taking care of the boys, however (which will be a future video). these are some of the sweetest moments where mila didn't have her angry protection face on<3 enjoy the video!!"

when the boys give mila their jackets🥹

so, we all know how much mila hates puffer jackets.

like, she will do ANYTHING to get out of wearing a puffer jacket.

except when it is for a photo shoot, then she remains our professional queen🥰

but mila would rather wear like 7 layers instead of a puffer jacket bc she is so stubborn😭

like same but is it really worth it girl???

and my gal is out here in like 4°c in her leather jacket and a hoodie trying to convince the guys that she isn't cold like

MISS MA'AM WE CAN SEE YOUR BREATH?? YOUR TEETH ARE CHATTERING???

i just know that taeyong begs her to put on a heavier jacket every day, but she never does

but on this day, mila said that she thought it wasn't that cold so she thought that her leather jacket would be okay.

turns out it was not!! she was freezing because it got breezy.

most of the other boys were fine with the temperature, even having their jackets unzipped

but when they saw mila getting out of the van clutching her already zipped jacket around herself, practically trying to hide in her coat, they all went 😦😦

jeno, renjun, mark, haechan, and jaemin all came running to her with their coats😭 (jisung and chenle were cold)

she laughed and tried to play it off like she wasn't that cold, even going as far to let her hands poke out of her sleeves and let go of her tight grip on her jacket, but as soon as she did, she was wincing at the cold and looking at her members for help

without hesitation, jeno shrugged his jacket over her shoulders and zipped it up.

jaemin then tried to zip it up fully and have her put her hood up, but mila stopped him because she knew she could not take pictures like that.

basically, mila is never going to be that cold again!! not on the dreamies' watch😡

making sure mila has something to eat🥹

mila has said this herself, i'm not hating!! but she is a PICKY EATER.

like PICKY PICKY

mila said that when she first moved to korea, she would only eat "white people food" because it's all she was used to.

"i only started using the flavorings of the ramen packs after living here for like 6 months"💀

she said that she didn't even feel asian because she hated all the food and didn't know how to use chopsticks🤧

but!! that was a while ago, and mila has gotten so much better!!

as a picky eater myself, i know how hard it is to go out of your comfort zone with food.

just the fact that when she was a trainee, she would have to make her own food and take that with her whenever the boys wanted to go out makes me want to cryyyyy

but now she likes enough foods to go out with them🥹

anyways, back to the situation at hand;

in episode 2 of chillin' in the dream 8lace, when mark and jeno get the punishment of having to cook for the rest of the members, they wanted to make bibimmyeon. when jaemin came into the kitchen to help them (and also to make sure they didn't burn the kitchen down), mark asked if mila would eat bibimmyeon, to which jaemin says "yes, she will"

this is because mila used to hate bibimmyeon!! fun fact~

this situation also happened in the beginning of the 6th episode.

the boys who were awake wanted tuna and mayo fried rice (which needs fried eggs) for breakfast, and jaemin, being the angel he is, remembered that mila didn't like tuna and mayo fried rice. so, when mark asked for jaemin to scramble some eggs for him, he easily decided to make some for mila<3

when jeno stopped her from tripping

this was kind of a shock for everyone imo??

like, it's not CRAZY or anything, i just have never seen mila have any other problems walking in heels before.

but whatever, she still slayed💅🏻

anyways, at the 2020 asia artist awards, nct dream won the award for best emotive award - music.

all 8 of them stood up and walked up the stairs to the stage. though the order left mila and jeno at the back of the line.

they were all wearing matching black suits, except that mila was wearing 6 INCH HEELS instead of normal dress shoes like the guys were.

and these were like STILETTOS!! super hard to walk in for no reason

now we all know that mila can walk in heels. we've seen her slay in some stilettos in the past.

but, that does not take away from the fact that mila has said on many different occasions that she does not like wearing heels.

now, since she already doesn't like them, why on earth would the staff put her in 6 INCH STILETTOS?????? makes no sense

anyway, as she was stepping up onto the stairs, she stumbled and almost fell backwards into jeno.

jeno, of course, being the gentleman he is, caught her gently by her waist and quickly got her back onto her feet. he then made sure she was steady up the stairs by holding his hand.

once they were at the top of the 5 or so steps, he linked their arms together and walked with the rest of the group to the award presenter.

once they finished that and went back to their seats, mila and jeno were also at the end of the line because they knew mila would need a bit longer to go down the steps.

jeno went in front of her and held her hand down the stairs so she wouldn't fall 🫶🏻

haechan getting mad about mila's sasaeng

woo, this one is already making me mad, and i haven't even written anything yet😡

so, mila's infamous evil sasaeng. the one that broke into the dream dorm and attacked mila while the members were sleeping. (a/n : there will be a fic in detail on this soon!!)

not much is known in detail about this incident. all we have is the account of the sasaeng herself and the statements that have been made by SM and the members.

but what we do know is that there was a big change in how the members treated her after this happened.

there was also a big change in mila.

mila went from being happy and giddy to being quiet and reserved for the first time in a while. this was not too long after her nct2018 hardships as well, so that made everyone even more angry as it seemed like she could never catch a break.

the members, most noticeably the dreamies, all became more cold for lack of a better word.

they would go outside and have this slight look of betrayal on their faces. they would not be as happy or smiley, they would tell less jokes.

everyone was just upset.

however, haechan was arguably one of the most upset ones.

as we know, haechan is mila's roommate in the 127 dorm. but, mila also has her own room in the dream dorm, which is why she constantly moves around and splits her time between the 2 dorms. mila has said that she stays at the dream dorm more often when she does not have promotions because she likes it better over there and she likes having her own room.

so having her personal space and safety violated like this in the place that she calls "home" is just disgusting to me.

haechan went on vlive a few days after the statements were released to talk about the situation.

"how is mila doing?" he reads before placing his phone down and covering his mouth with his hands while thinking about what to say. "she's okay. she's not great, but she's doing her best. she's been staying in the 127 dorm with us. she hasn't even gone over to the dream dorm since what happened." he pauses, looking down before taking a breath in. he looks back up at the camera with a low glare, not doing a good job at trying to hide it. "mila is afraid to sleep, hell, even be in her own dorm now because of you... i hope you are ashamed of the damage you have caused." he speaks bitterly, his words obviously directed at the sasaeng.

he ended the live not long after, giving a short message to please not wait outside their dorms anymore.

mila not having money on a show to buy ice cream, so doyoung and yuta buy it for her

just mila being the cutest once again, what do ya know.

everyone was buying treats and snacks on this nct life show but mila didn't have any money :((((

she was so excited to go into the store and get snacks, but then she just went 😯😕

she quickly tried to wipe off her frown and look around the store anyway, not wanting her members to think she was upset.

when everyone had finished picking out their snacks and were in line to purchase them, taeyong noticed that mila didn't have anything.

"mila, why aren't you getting anything?" he asks, a gentle smile on his face. johnny also listens for her response. "i don't have any money." she replies, shrugging. "aigoo, i'm sure we can get you something." he pats her shoulder before going up to yuta and doyoung at the front of the line, just behind taeil who was buying his items. "doyoungie, yuta~," he calls. "yes?" they answer. "do you mind buying some snacks for our miely? she doesn't have any money." the leader asks. their eyes widen. "of course!! you can get anything you want, mila!! just be quick!" yuta says, and they grin at her. she smiles and perks up. "okay!! thank you!" she says before quickly jogging back into the ice cream aisle and picking up an oreo cone, then she goes and gets some chocolate. she brings them up to the counter with yuta and doyoung's things. "you sure you don't want anything else?" doyoung asks. "no, this is okay." she smiles. they pay for it, and she is beaming on the way out.

they would do anything for her🥹❤️‍🩹

jaemin, jeno, and mark all being attentive when mila stands up because she gets dizzy

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that it is mila sitting in the first photo with a member in front of her and that there is no skateboard in the second photo

nctzens have thought for a long time that mila is anemic.

this is due to mila's repeated mentionings that whenever she stands up or even sits up in some cases, she feels dizzy, gets tunnel vision, and gets black spots in her vision as well. she said that these are her most frequent symptoms, but they can get worse, including fainting and having her ears ring.

mila has never confirmed her having anemia. the last time she spoke of the rumors was back in 2021 where she said, "I'm not sure if i have anemia... my older sister has the same symptoms as me, but when she went to the doctor, she was told she didn't have anemia. what i can confirm is that i have low blood pressure. i'm not sure why, as high blood pressure actually runs in my family, but that has been present since i was a child. and i have talked to a doctor about this in the past, uh... orthostatic hypotension? that's what she said my symptoms sounded like. czennies, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me but thank you for the concern!"

despite no definitive diagnosis for what happens to her, it doesn't stop the other members from caring for her well.

one key example of this happened in episode 6 of chillin' in the dream 8lace. mila was refusing to get up out of bed so jaemin went in to get her. he pulled her to stand up from where she was laying quite quickly, causing her to say, "ah, jaemin, jaem, jaem, slowly, slowly, slowly! i'm dizzy." quickly remembering her condition, jaemin stopped and helped her stand up slowly, allowing her to adjust, all while holding her hands in case she were to fall over.

though this was one instance that jaemin forgot about her condition, there have been many other clips of the boys watching her get up carefully.

most of the time it is subtle actions, such as the members simply keeping an eye on her or lending a hand out to keep her steady. they often let mila walk in front of them just to prevent the possibility of her falling with no one to catch her as she often tries to power through her dizziness, thus making her more dizzy.

renjun and chenle always being sweet and helpful when she tries to speak chinese

mila tries so hard to work on her chinese these days :(( i cry

like my gal speaks 2 languages like a NATIVE and then has borderline fluency in 2 MORE, and is still trying to learn 2 MORE

like gal 😭 i can barely speak my native language (i only speak one language)

she is such an overachiever and FOR WHYYYY

but i love her 🫶🏻

though she often ends up thanking the fans in english (when mark isn't there) and in japanese, once mila tried to thank them briefly in chinese!!

mila has said before that she used to study chinese quite a bit back in 2016 when she was really close with winwin and chenle, but since then, she became more focused on japanese and lost time to study it.

she has always said that chinese was really hard for her just because of dealing with the characters. this is why she is quite good at speaking chinese but not good at reading it!

however, we all know mila is quite emotive when presenting and giving speeches, so her tones often fluctuate with her words. this was another issue for mila as she struggled to remember the tones of the words and tried to keep her voice at a neutral level.

yet despite all of these struggles, mila had been giving a short thank you to their chinese fans at an award show when she stammered and forgot what she was saying.

though this is totally normal for a foreigner trying to speak another language, mila is always super prepared for foreign language speeches, so she was caught a little off-guard.

her face went a little red, and she apologized before turning around to chenle and renjun on her left.

they were both looking at her with the cutest and most loving smiles🥹

the crowd gave some encouraging cheers as mila spoke to them for only a few seconds before turning back to the microphone and finishing her speech like a champ🫶🏻

it's just so cute to me that renle + wayV taught mila all the chinese she knows and how she's still so good at it

and how proud of her they are🥹

we choose to forget when mila was first learning chinese and renjun told her he was teaching her how to introduce herself but she was really insulting herself😭

jeno allowing her to sleep on his shoulder comfortably

mila is such a HARDWORKER!!!!!

if you disagree, you're literally wrong.

she does not have credits on almost every SM release after 2017 fOR NOTHING

so, because of her tendency to overwork herself and prioritise work over sleep and her well-being, the boys are always the first people to let her sleep instead of waking her up if they need something.

it always pains them a little bit to wake her up, even if they are about to be late because they tried to let her sleep in.

basically, if mila is showing ANY signs of being tired (it could literally be rubbing her eyes), they boys are instantly: "PLEASE SLEEP"

so, when the dreamies were in a van going to a mystery location for a fun video, mila unsurprisingly, grew drowsy.

mila was sitting next to jeno in the backseat of this van, steadily growing more and more tired.

but knowing mila, she tried to keep herself awake, not letting herself lean on the window or on her hand. this lead to her dozing off while sitting straight up, her head bobbing down lightly.

jeno was looking at his phone, not paying attention to her.

until he saw her drooping head and was like 😶

he froze for a second before slowly and gently pressing mila's head down to his shoulder, sitting up a little bit so it would be more comfortable for her.

mila did not object. she was so fucking tired.

jeno was so proud of himself as he felt mila kinda relax into him and let more of her weight rest on his shoulder.

he looked up a little with a 😌 look on his face to see jaemin filming him with a grin.

no words are exchanged as jeno's smile grows, and jaemin chuckles quietly before showing a thumbs up to the camera.

jisung and renjun sharing their umbrellas with her

now, while i'm sure all of the members would share their umbrellas with mila under the circumstance that she did not have one, we only have video evidence and jisung and renjun doing so <3

so, on this day where it was raining as nct dream were going to a schedule, mila did not have an umbrella

sooo many fans tried to spin this as mila being mistreated by the staff since all of the boys had umbrellas until another clip was released of mila giving her umbrella to a staff member

the staff repeatedly shook her head and refused, wanting mila to keep it, but she did not accept no for an answer and smiled big when the staff finally accepted.

some bodyguards around quickly tried to cover mila's head with their hands to protect her from the rain, thus catching the attention of jisung and renjun.

they both quickly came over, pushing their umbrellas toward her and not on themselves

mila immediately pushed their umbrellas back over their own heads and shooed them away.

they didn't let up and kept trying to talk to her for a few seconds.

mila laughs lightly and goes next to renjun under his umbrella, leaving jisung with a slight pout on his face.

"you're too big to share an umbrella!" mila exclaims, causing them all to laugh. the rest of their dialogue could not be heard in the video, this was the only thing intelligible.

with content expressions, mila goes under renjun's umbrella and they both put arms around each other; mila's arm going around his waist and renjun's arm going over her shoulders as they walk the short distance to the building.

nct 127 following the sidewalk rule

since the newly publicised "sidewalk rule" on social media, nctzens have brought up all the times that they have preached this before its popularity.

it's not seen as often with nct dream as every time they try (usually renjun, jeno, & jisung), mila just pushes them off and doesn't move.

this leads the boy to be very 🤨😖 because this is what their hyungs taught them to do???? why is she not accepting this gesture that the hyungs do all the time????

so, the dreamies don't really do it anymore, they just keep a watchful eye when she likes to balance on the curb of a busy road.

127 and even wayV however, are a different story.

maybe it's because they're older, but mila always listens when they guide her over to the non-road side of a sidewalk.

sometimes she looks a little 🤨 when her arm gets tugged away, but then she realises where she's standing.

most commonly, the members dragging her away from the cars are taeyong, johnny, kun, xiaojun, and doyoung. but there have been times where ten, jaehyun, and jungwoo have done it.

in the back of many nct 127 videos, most notably the ones where they are exploring the usa, mila can be seen being ushered away from the road by one or two of the members above.

it's just super cute and makes all czennies swoon over the neos' politeness 😵‍💫

the dreamies comforting her when she tries to be strong🥹

this day is not to be confused with the 191117 dream show ending meant!!!

a/n : lmk if i should make something that says in detail what mila said in her ending ment on the 191117 show!!

this was the first of the three dream shows back to back (191115).

mila said her ment not long after jisung did, so she was already emotional when it got to her turn.

jisung was crying as he tried to say his ment, so mila was already sad because she went to comfort him.

now mila HATES seeing jisung cry because it almost always makes her cry with him, so she was hugging jisung (not photo) before her turn.

she had intended for her ment to go a different route, but when it was her turn to talk, she just kinda let her words take her, not following her originally planned direction.

"aw... it's only the first day of the dream show, and i'm already crying ㅠㅠ i thought i would at least be able to be calm on the first day. but because of jisung~~ he made me sad ☹️." there is a brief pause where mila just looks around at the crowd with stars in her eyes. "but really, i can't blame him..." she looks down and swallows thickly before looking back up and blinking back her tears. the other members make various noises of teasing and telling her not to cry, some even coming closer, but mila takes a step back and laughs, telling them to go away. "no, no, i'm okay. i just need a second..." she flaps her hands as a way of shooing them, obviously growing more uneasy, stressed, and upset. with a deep breath, she starts again. "the members don't know this but," she starts, gaining the attention of all the boys. "before the show started today, i was crying in the bathroom because i was worried that this would be the start of our last shows and they wouldn't be strong enough... and i can't help but feel like it's my fault because..." she looks down again, this time for longer as she tries to hold back her tears. she doesn't succeed. tears fall, and her breathing starts to turn into small gasps and hiccups. chenle and haechan both come closer to her, haechan saying "aigoo, mila-yah..." and chenle saying something like "no, that's not..." and mila just taking a step back and flapping her hands to get them not to touch her. she knows that if she lets them comfort her, she will start crying. she wants to finish her ment first. "because i have had big inputs on nct dream's music, and if it's coming to an end..." a particular gasp leaves her lips with a small cry that reaches the microphone, making the crowd whine. the boys come up to her again. she tries to push them away again, but not as much as before. "...then i must have done something wrong." she cries, a deep wail leaving her chest as her hands come to cover her face, muffling her gasps but still allowing them to be picked up by the microphone. the crowd goes quiet, save for the growing volume of whines and telling her that's not true. jaemin pulls her into him, and she wraps her arms around him tightly, her cries into him now being picked up by his mic. chenle, haechan, and jeno are all around them rubbing mila's back as renjun tries to talk while comforting jisung at the same time, who had grown emotional all over again by mila's words.

in less than 2 minutes, mila had pulled away, immediately being met by the faces of her members, presumably asking if she was okay, to which she nods. a tissue is given to her by haechan and she dabs her face clean of tears while fanning her face. chenle helps fan her face, as well.

she keeps the tissue in her hand to repeatedly wipe her running nose as the others continue talking. chenle stays next to her this whole time with his arm around her and his head on her shoulder.

when mila twitched in her sleep and yuta helped 🥹

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that mila is sleeping in the second one and not on her phone :)

it is a somewhat well-known fact that during stressful times, mila twitches in her sleep.

this info is not from sasaengs btw!!! mila has said this herself along with the members🥰

mila has said that she has done this since she was a kid and it usually means that she is juuust on the edge of falling asleep but not actually asleep.

this is why she hates it.

her stress prevents her from falling asleep when she so desperately needs it.

she will be drifting until she twitches and then she's awake again ☹️

so, when nct 127 were getting ready for a favorite (vampire) stage, mila fell asleep on one of the dressing room sofas while waiting for her turn for her makeup and hair.

in the background of an nct 127 fun video (like in the dressing room) she was waiting on the couch patiently when yuta sat down after finishing his look. she casually laid her head in his lap, which was nothing unusual (as we all know how much she loves yuta🤭)

she scrolled on her phone for a bit, not paying attention to anything and not being bothered by the conversations of her members and the staff.

eventually, she plopped her phone next to her face on the couch and closed her eyes, not moving at all from her original position.

due to her lack of movement, yuta thought that she was still awake. this was until the twitching started. yuta knew what it meant when mila started twitching like this, so he took a quick look at her, saw she was sleeping and leaning back in his spot before bringing his free hand to her hair.

he knew how much mila LOVES having her hair played with and how much it calms her down.

he softly twirled the strands and gave her head a light massage, instantly stopping her twitching and allowing her to sleep calmly before getting ready.

when mila had to be woken up for her turn in the hair and makeup chair, yuta pleaded for her to go last so she could get some extra rest in 🥹

when it was really time, and she had to go, yuta woke her up gently with a pout, cooing at her tired face

mila collapsing on stage

as stated previously, we all know about mila's low blood pressure. this causes her to become dizzy, faint, etc.

but there is one more thing i have neglected to talk about as i do not want to interpret it incorrectly.

and that is mila's history with eating disorders.

everything i will say has already been said by mila herself, her members, or SM.

mila has always had problems not eating enough throughout her entire childhood due to her dedication to her craft(s).

when she was really young and did gymnastics and dance, she would often forget to eat and just do acrobatics the whole day.

this is extremely unhealthy and dangerous as both gymnastics and dance are very demanding sports and require lots of sustenance.

regardless, mila has managed to take care of herself up until around late 2017-early 2018.

mila said that due to a multitude of things that i will not be getting into right now, she spent all of her time working in the studio producing/writing music or perfecting routines, and working on singing/raps. at this time she also focused her remaining time on her studies for her end-of-high school exams.

mila said that during this point in her life, she felt "guilty" taking time out just for herself. she felt like she always needed to be doing something productive.

food did not fall into this category.

mila would sacrifice eating over completing her schoolwork and idol/producer duties.

this caused her to experience a lot of burnout and to faint often because of stress and malnutrition.

though since then, mila has recovered, and takes care of herself (according to her and the members), she still has times where she can revert slightly.

like i said, she has been somewhat this way since she was a child, so it is easy to forget.

one big example of this was in early 2020 after a kick it stage.

this was one of those prerecorded stages due to covid starting to affect the industry.

mila slayed the stage, giving her all and doing her absolute best. you could not notice anything wrong when she was performing.

but after the cameras cut, and all that was left was stuff that would not go on tv, mila collapsed.

she was stood in her ending position, waiting for all the cameras to cut. she wasn't really paying attention, but in the video, you could see just how fast she was breathing and that she was swaying slightly in her stance.

once the other members moved and began to bow to the staff, mila's knees just crumbled, and she fell.

she landed on her knees and hands, her hair covering her face as she heaved in air. then she slumped over kinda on her stomach but still on her knees and elbows.

the other members didn't do anything for a moment. it's unclear whether they didn't notice or if they thought she was just tired from the demanding routine.

the first member to go over to her was taeyong. he looked a little nervous and kinda speed-walked over to her.

he crouched down next to her and moved to look at her face, moving some of her hair out of the way.

none of what they are saying can be heard, so all that we can assume is that he was asking her if she was okay.

he gets her to sit up and holds both of her hands in his. her eyes are closed, and she's still breathing heavily, obviously still really tired.

he asks her something else, and she shakes her head weakly before starting to slump over again. taeyong looks around for a moment before standing halfway up and pulling mila up with him.

she picks her up bridal style with mila barely clinging onto him as he carries her offstage. her eyes are closed as he does this.

there was a lot of fan uproar at this. fans were attacking SM for making her work so hard and demanding to give her more rest.

there was no response or acknowledgement from SM, the nct members, or mila herself.

when mila fell asleep on vlive

this vlive is actually one of my favorites just because of this interaction!!

it's just so sweet!!!

so basically, mila was on vlive in her shared room with haechan at the 127 dorm.

this had been after a day of schedules (we don't know exactly what) and she was just chitchatting about what happened that day and some things she saw on social media.

this wasn't unusual as mila had been going live more recently when this happened.

mila did say that the schedule ran a little later that day and that she was tired but that she also wanted to stay up and talk with czennies <333.

however, about 25 mins into the live, mila had been laying on her bed with the phone leaning against her open laptop screen. her head was resting on her folded elbows as she read the comments and talked contently.

due to this position and her growing tiredness, it was not difficult for mila to fall asleep.

fans thought that she was just resting her eyes for a moment and that she was still awake until it had been like 2 minutes of pure silence.

then all the comments were mixtures of "omg is mila asleep???" and "she's so cute aaaaa" and "sm really needs to let her rest smh"

she had only been out for around 10 minutes when haechan came in.

they share this room, so it is not a surprise that he came in unannounced.

the door cannot be seen from the vlive, but it can be heard closing and footsteps getting closer.

haechan appears behind mila to the side and quietly says "aigoo, mila fell asleep with her laptop on, let's fix this for my twin, eh?" he then reaches for her hands to move them off the keyboard to close the laptop when he notices that her phone is actually on vlive😭. "oh! hello~~" he greets cutely, giving a wave as he picks up the phone. "thank you for watching over mila, czennies. i will take over and make sure that she sleeps well! goodnight!"

he then ends the live, and we can assume that he finished getting all her stuff away so she could sleep<3

afterwards, on twitter, haechan was trending for being a lovely caring member as he acted so sweet without even knowing that he was being recorded

johnny stopping mila from falling off stage

okayyyy, so we all know that mila isn't clumsy, as she loves to remind us, but she lowkey is (don't tell her i said that).

so what transpired, was during the singapore show on the neo city - the origin tour in 2019. the stage was kinda an upside-down T shape with a little B-stage at the end.

mila was not paying attention to anything other than nctzens <3.

during replay (am 1:27), mila was looking into the crowd, as she does, with that big smile on her face.

she was squinting a bit, trying to read some of the signs that fans had up while also trying to dance around at the same time.

she was at the part in the stage where the B-stage starts. at the corner, she was leaning over to look at something. she was standing on that lower platform next to the stage that looks like she's on stage, but she's not really on it, you know???

anyway, once she finished reading, she turned towards the catwalk again and quite literally STEPPED OFF THE FUCKING STAGE

and she says she's not clumsy😑

but THANK GOD johnny was coming to the B-stage and was at the end of the catwalk. he SNATCHED her up and carried her for a few seconds before putting her down in the middle of the B-stage, where he was sure she couldn't fall off.

he looked at her for a minute, hands on her shoulders as they talked. none of what they were saying was picked up by their microphones, so we don't know what they said🤷‍♀️

mila nodded at him, and they both walked back down the catwalk to the main stage with hands around each other. probably just johnny being extra cautious now😖

none of the other members seemed to notice (probably a good thing because you KNOW taeyong would have scolded her).

after the show, mila went on her bubble to respond to czennies.

"i fell off the stage? no i didn't!!!! you're lying!!!" she joked with lots of emojis. she thanked them for their concern and promised it wouldn't happen again <3.

renjun yelling at the sasaengs calling her😳

i do not want to be on renjun's bad side 😳😳😳😳

so this happened in late 2019 when mila, renjun, jeno, and jaemin were all doing a vlive together.

it's very similar to what happened to jeno on the 200114 vlive with renjun, chenle and jeno.

mila was trying to read the comments on their vlive on her phone but she couldn't because sasaengs kept calling her.

she didn't even bat an eye as she repeatedly swiped the calls away, declining them and going back to what she was trying to do.

but IT WAS CONSTANT!!!

this was like 30 calls in 2 minutes like GALLLLLL

with each call, you could see mila growing more and more irritated with her side eyes to the camera :(

it got really bad when she tried to show something to the camera, and she got a call, so she swiped it away and showed the camera again. then she got another call, swiped it away and tried to show her screen again. when she got a third call, renjun stood up and took her phone from her hand, saying "give it to me"

he walked out of frame and began yelling at the sasaeng (as he should 💅🏻)

mila looked at him like 😳😏😊 and then started talking really loudly to cover up what renjun was saying.

it's hard to make out, but renjun can be heard yelling at the sasaengs saying things like "stop calling mila or else i will report your number and press charges"

basically scary renjun

he came and sat back down like 😒 and mila smiled at him and gave him a side hug to express her gratefulness <3333

"i hope you all enjoyed this video!! please keep supporting nct and their activities! stay tuned for my next video! bye!!!"