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hussyknee · 2 years

Note

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

----------------------------------------------

Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

----------------------------------------------

I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

-----

Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

----

Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.

Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️

#goncharov 1973 #reasons i can never leave this hellsite #we've ascended from pirating criterion movies to straight up manifesting them into existence #get on our level twits #knee of huss #goncharov #tumblr lore #tumblr memes #tumblr culture

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blackwoolncrown · 8 months

Text

Hey allies - I could use support <3 (Black, autistic, NB femme, orphan of estrangement)

So long story short I've been through the ringer lately- The great part is things that I've been working towards for the past 2 years are finally coming to fruition!

The hard part is that I've been dealing with frequent fees and expenses in the process and Oct-Nov promise even more.

If you don't know, I was displaced from FL during the housing crisis and just couldn't keep up with what the US was demanding of me for survival, so I moved to another country at the suggestion and helping hand of a friend.

Recently, I've managed to get part of my residency process under way, but the trip to do so cost me ~$2k for travel, food and lodgings, I'd JUST had my car fixed.

When I got back to the country I was told that completing the process would be another $100 fee; my lease is up next month and in order to move I'll need to pay 2x rent wherever I go.

It's just a lot building up and I make a modest income right now; my savings is drained from taking care of things with my business and having to travel back and forth to a town 1.5 hours away bc my place got robbed and I've been having to handle things w the police & my landlord while I stay at a friends (still, unfortunately, paying rent at the place I can't stay at rn). I'd love to focus on my work to help w this but I only do payroll once a month, and I'll need to pay fees & rent sooner than that because next month I have to move AND drive 3 days to pay a bunch of money to import my car.

There's more and I'd be happy to give more detail/proof if anyone wants it (DM me) but overall I have just been really financially drained, burned out, and I need funding to assist w covering groceries, deposit and legal fees for this month into Oct & Nov.

**I am not at risk of being houseless or unfed atm so this is really for anyone with privilege who can comfortably help out***

C***app: $moonseye

!!!PLEASE DO NOT TAG!!!!

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whyse7vn · 11 months

Text

GHOSTED -

[ ot7 x reader ]

YOONGI -

yoongi: hey

sent 6 hours ago

yoongi: bro

sent 1 hour ago

yoongi: *babe

yoongi: hello?

y/n: yes

yoongi: oh

y/n: ???

yoongi: are we fighting?

y/n: no?

yoongi: so just fuck me then?

y/n: pretty much

yoongi: no one loves you

sent 30mins ago

yoongi: ur annoying me

y/n: hiii babe

yoongi: what is ur problem?

y/n: what?

yoongi: i have a gun to my head

y/n: don’t shoot?

yoongi: why is that a question?

y/n: cuz i’m not sure

yoongi: not sure about what?

y/n: if i want you to shoot or not

yoongi: why have you been taking so long to respond?

y/n: omgee do you miss me???

yoongi: not anymore

y/n: YOU DO?????

ur so cute

yoongi: whatever

sent 10 mins ago

yoongi: okay now ur doing it on purpose

could literally be bleeding out rn and ur ignoring me

sent 20 mins ago

yoongi: all together you’ve ignored me for 8 hours

y/n: i don’t like math

yoongi: i don’t like being ignored

y/n: was busy

yoongi: liar

y/n: i’m being honest you big baby omg!

yoongi: i am not a baby that’s gross

you would literally be in prison rn if i was

y/n: you don’t need to take everything i say literally

yoongi: you didn’t need to ignore me

y/n: i’m here now

what do you want?

yoongi: what do i want????

are you trying to break up with me rn?

y/n: and if i was??

yoongi: i’m not speaking to you rn

y/n: ok

yoongi: this is the part where you beg for my forgiveness

HOSEOK -

hobi: you can’t tell anyone but you know that argument jin and jimin had last week?

sent 5 mins ago

hobi: the one where jin threw his shoe at jimin?

sent 5 mins ago

hobi: anyways it was actually my fault

it wasn’t jimin who ate those strawberry tart things it was me

jin asked me who ate them and i said jimin

just for funzies

and i knew he would believe it

i was gonna say ur name but jin would of let you off to easy

don’t tell ANYONE

i’m fr

tarts were good as hell tho

10/10

hope he gets some more

idk where their from so i fr pray he buys more

sent 3 hours ago

hobi: ANSWER ME

why are you ignoring me 😓?

y/n: bored as hell

hobi: ???

y/n: was bored as hell?

hobi: so you ignored me??

y/n: yeah??

hobi: are you mentally ill?

y/n: possibly?

hobi: gws?

y/n: thanks?

hobi: why do you hate me?

y/n: are you truma dumping rn?

hobi: you are my truma

y/n: truma by seventeen

hobi: i love seventeen

y/n: so do i

hobi: let’s hang out with seventeen

y/n: i agree

hobi: aju nice

y/n: clap clap clap clap

hobi: why do you hate me?

y/n: thought we were moving on from this tbh

hobi: bored as hell is not an good excuse for ignoring me

y/n: it’s like we take 2 steps forward then 13 steps back

hobi: 13 just seventeen

y/n: did that just for them

hobi: ur kinda funny

y/n: thx

hobi: stop distracting me omg?

y/n: sorry

won’t do it again

hobi: why do you hate me?

y/n: if we think about it you’re the mentality ill one in this relationship

hobi: ok that’s a lie

ur a sociopath

y/n: you don’t even know what that means

hobi: i so do

y/n: what does it mean then

hobi: ur abnormal

y/n: fuck you

hobi: it’s okay love my little sociopath 🥰

y/n: …

hobi: the next time you ignore me i’m leaving you

sent 4 hours ago

JIMIN -

jimin: hello there something seems to be wrong with the hand break of my car

can you send anyone out to fix it

📎 3 imagines attached

sent 5 mins ago

jimin: pls i need some to fix it asap

📎 1 video attached

sent 3 mins ago

jimin: this is REALLY REALLY important pls i need to be somewhere in the next two hours

sent 1 hour ago

jimin: THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH

y/n: ew

that is your dick

jimin: when can you send someone out 😖

y/n: get lost

jimin: :((((

sent 1 hour ago

jimin: um okay….

sent 2 hours ago

jimin: yoongi just said i’m “so desperate” in the gc and if he’s talking about what i think he is i will NEVER talk to you again

sent 5 mins ago

jimin: ur lucky

he wasn’t talking about that

sent 4 mins ago

jimin: HEY

4 missed calls from jimin

jimin: fine be like that…

sent 20 mins ago

jimin: thought about it and

idc if the boys see my dick!!

SHOW IT TO THEM IF YOU WANT

I AM NOT ASHAMED

sent 10 mins ago

jimin: STOP IGNORING ME OMG????

2 missed calls from jimin

jimin: i am an example to men fuck you die

y/n: joon laughed and called you a slut

jimin: #slut4myqueen

wait he laughed?????

tf is he laughing for???

4 missed calls from jimin

jimin: HELLLO COME BSCK RN

YOU DONT GET TO SAY THAT AND GHOST ME AGAIN

HELLOOOOO HELLOOO HELLLO GELLO

HELOOEOD

incoming call from jimin…

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW DRESS

jungkook: PLS PLS PLS

SEND PICS

sent 10 mins ago

CAN I JUST FT YOU?

sent 10 mins ago

ANSWERRRRRRR

20 missed calls from jungkook

sent 14 hours ago

jungkook: it’s a new day and i have a knife to my neck

sent 2 hours ago

jungkook: i know you are awake

where are my pictures

send 30 mins ago

jungkook: ok

sent 2 hours ago

jungkook: I LIED IM NOT OK IM NOT

sent 10 mins ago

jungkook: plsplsolslplslpls

y/n: hi

jungkook: dress?

y/n: ??

jungkook: show me the dress

now

y/n: …

jungkook: pls

i’m like a dog waiting to be fed

y/n: never compare yourself to a dog again are you sick in the head

jungkook: me and bam are identical twins rn

y/n: i’m gonna throw up

jungkook: show me the dress 😖

y/n: no

jungkook: ok fine im just gonna go do a line of coke then

y/n: ur being extra

like extremely extra

jungkook: coke is on the table

my lines are ready

im about to sniff

y/n: just come over and see ur for yourself?

jungkook: OH???

OK I WILL

I WILL DO THAT

fuck the lines

i’m omw

HEHEHEHE 🤭🤭

NAMJOON -

namjoon: when you get home text me ok?

sorry i could say bye properly they wanted me to record something

staff are being slow today

i’m kinda getting annoyed

yk i would of walked out with you otherwise

or you can call me

actually just call me

sent 3 hours ago

namjoon: i said call me i mean it

sent 2 hours ago

namjoon: so are you fucking home now??

sent 1 hour ago

namjoon: hello??????

y/n: kim namjoon???????????

namjoon: sorry

i didn’t mean to be mean

y/n: i think you did

namjoon: you didn’t call

y/n: sorry

namjoon: i worry yk??

y/n: i said i was sorry

namjoon: idc

for 6 hours i was on the edge of my seat

what if you died or something?

did you just ignore me for fun or did something actually happen

y/n: i’m home

namjoon: it’s too late to tell me that now

y/n: i didn’t watch our show btw

i’m waiting for you

namjoon: …

y/n: ^^

namjoon: answer my question

y/n: stop being mean

namjoon: you were mean first

y/n: wasn’t

namjoon: you didn’t call babe

y/n: SORRY OMG WONT HAPPEN AGAIN

namjoon: TAKE UR SORRY AND SHOVE IT UP UR ASS TBH

y/n: i’ll watch the new episode rn

namjoon: …

y/n: that’s what i thought bitch

namjoon: i’m not coming home

y/n: oh no!!

my hand it’s just itching to press play rn

namjoon: whatever be there in 10

y/n: once again i prove i wear the pants in this relationship

sent 10 mins ago

SEOKJIN -

y/n: bff can you pick me up

jin: i am NOT ur bff

i am ur BF thank you very much

but ig i could

where are you?

and what the hell are you dumb out so late it’s like 2 am

sent 4 mins ago

jin: how the hell can i pick you up if idk where ur at

ur lucky i’m still awake and willing to come get you

sent 5 mins ago

4 miss calls from jin

jin: what if i kill you

CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE UR AT

sent 2 mins ago

jin: went to look for my car keys and you still haven’t replied

do you want me to break up with you rn?

sent 4 mins ago

12 missed calls from jin

jin: the amount of times i have called your phone is embarrassing

like i’m some obsessed sick freak

WHERE ARE YOU

i really don’t want to have to drive around seoul looking for you

am i a stalker????

sent 10 mins ago

5 missed calls from jin

jin: I HOPE WHOEVER TOOK YOU MAKES YOU SUFFER

okay i take that back

i’m a LITTLE freaked out rn

just a little

don’t let it get to ur head

sent 20 mins ago

jin: DROVE TO HYBE AND THEY SAID YOU LEFT LIKE BEFORE 10???

also why the hell are they still open fr that’s not right

WHERE ARE YOU IM DRIVING AROUND THE STREETS LIKE A LOSER

7 missed called from jin

y/n: LMAO fell asleep in seungcheol’s car

and my phone died

jin: seungcheol???

y/n: seventeen man

scoups?

jin: where are you rn???

y/n: at seungcheol’s

vernon said hi

jin: TELL VERNON TO DIE

y/n: um rude?

i said you said hi back

anyways will come home later might as well stay here for the night

jin: send me the address

y/n: miss me that much??

jin: send it

y/n: are you mad at me???

you started sharing your location with jin

jin: put my reputation on the line for you today

i will never forget this

y/n: why am i scared rn…

TAEHYUNG -

tae:

why is this us

*whimpers in your ear*

sent 14 hours ago

tae: okay that wasn’t that bad

sent 1 hour go

tae: i’ve definitely said worse

sent 2 hours ago

tae: yare yare

sent 1 hour ago

tae: do you think army would call me tae-chan if i asked

or should i be v-chan

but thinking about it tae-chan just connects with me on a different level

it’s so personal

intimate almost

sent 2 hours ago

tae: baka why are you ignoring me

yare yare

sent 3 hours ago

tae: HELLO HELLO

pls 🥺pls 🥺pls 🥺pls🥺

sent 2 hours ago

tae: ヾ( ￣O￣)ツ

me asf

sent 1 hour ago

tae: oh

heyyyyyy lolz

i now see how smoking negatively effects the brain

i would like to formally apologise for the man i was in the last hours

y/n: kys

tae: i was high and watching naruto

forgive me 🥺

y/n: you are out of ur mind

tae: *was

i was out of my mind

never smoking again i swear

y/n: we need to go on a break or something

i need time to fully process the bullshit you just came to me with

tae: live in the moment

don’t dwell on the past

sent 10 mins ago

tae: HEY COME BACK

ily

ghosting me will NOT solve our issues

…

can you tell i was listening to svt when writing this low-key can’t see straight rn how the hell it 1:42 am rn not on tbh

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tlouxx · 10 months

Text

Electromagnetism

~ ellie williams x reader

——————————————————————————

part two <3

synopsis: you and ellie williams have been long time rivals. you are a physics majors at wellesley college, and you’re competing for the same spot in the prestigious dr. ramsey’s lab as ellie. suddenly neither of you can escape the other as you’re both trying to navigate your final year of college.

content: college!ellie, modern au, mean!ellie, academic rivals to lovers, slow burn, forced proximity, eventual smut, swearing, banter, just trying to intro ellie and reader rn

an: this is the first fic i've written! i hope you enjoy :) pls be kind

——————————————————————————

I want this year to be better. To achieve more. To get everything I have wanted. Well.. I want this to be the year I best Ellie Williams. It has been so frustrating to get second best to her no matter how hard I try. I study 15 hours for the exam. She studies for 20. I get a 98 on the lab report. She gets a 100. I can’t stand this girl. This year I have a fire under my ass. I’ll do whatever it takes to get the lab position with Dr. Ramsey, and I know Ellie is gunning for it too…

...

Day One - PHYS 302: Quantum Mechanics

Fuck. I know I'm going to be late. I had been up until 2:00 a.m. devising a plan for how I was going to handle all of the stress of senior year. Between tutoring, a full class load, and working on my thesis, I am going to have no life outside of school. Although, I’m kind of fucking it up already by waking up late for the first day of class.

…

I am sprinting through campus trying to navigate through the thick of the freshman class wandering aimlessly around. I have 1 minute and 39 seconds to make it on time before Dr. L locks the door. (She’s a bit famous for doing that). It’s mid august and hot. I can feel the sweat dripping down my back, and my bangs are clinging to my forehead. I see a shortcut to the physics building through the freshly landscaped garden. Dirt and mulch kicks up my jeans, but I don’t care. Behind me, I hear yelling. “Move out of my way!!” I look momentarily to see none other than Ellie Williams. Suddenly I don’t feel as bad about being late. She’s in her typical wardrobe of converse and a jacket too big for her, and she’s running toward me.

…

“Don’t you know she’s going to lock the door on us!”

“I know Ellie!” I scoff back. I book it knowing we only have 45 seconds left to make it on time. We’re both charging up the stairs. Ellie shoves me aside. I yell “Are you kidding me!” She simply laughs at me.

…

I’m following right behind her. I can feel the anger flood through my body. My cheeks are flushed, and I can feel my rage nearly leave my mouth. I know I’d only be stooping to her level. I see the door in my line of sight and feel the tension dissipate knowing we made it. We rush through the door with seconds to spare. All eyes are on us. I suddenly feel the anger leave and be replaced by embarrassment. I look around for somewhere to sit. PHYS 302 is a popular class with a majority of the seats being full. Ellie and I look at each other realizing there are only two seats left. Right next to each other.

…

We both glare at the other, but sit down knowing we’ve already caused a commotion by busting through the door at the last second. I’m angry. I’m irritated. This is exactly why I have to do better this semester. I know what I want, and I won’t stop until I see that smirk wiped off her face.

…

As class continues on, I glance over at Ellie. She’s diligently taking notes and hanging on to every word Dr. L says. I should be doing the same. This class is important to me, and doing well can help me guarantee my spot in Dr. Ramsey’s lab. I’ve been dreaming of doing my thesis with her help since freshman year. Right now though, I need to stop daydreaming about beating Ellie and actually do it.

…

I’ve always loved the atmosphere here at Wellesley. The campus is gorgeous and almost looks otherworldly at times. The blossoming pinks of the spring and the rich reds and yellows of the fall makes it look like a daydream. I have studied at nearly every picnic table out here. The sun is shining down on my face through the clouds. I look up and start to reminisce about the good times I’ve had here, but the heat is getting to me. I peel off my jacket before I enter my next lecture. I open the door to see Ellie Williams smirking at me.

…

PHYS 208: Intermediate Electromagnetism

“I didn’t think you’d be brave enough to take this class. Seems a little too… difficult for you.”

“Fuck off Ellie. You know I’m just as smart as you.”

“And I know how much it kills you that you have to work twice as hard to come close to me”

I laugh. “What kills me is that you think that’s true. I already know you studied for days for Dr. Ramsey’s final when I studied for a couple hours and got practically the same grade” I can feel myself getting flustered. I’ve been wanting to dedicate this semester to kicking her ass, and she can see it. I watch as her cheeks turn red. She knows I see her too. She turns back around in her seat.

…

The weight of the day feels heavy on my shoulders. I shouldn’t have said that to Ellie. Dina told me in confidence how much time she was dedicating to studying for the exam. I shouldn’t have betrayed her trust just to get back at Ellie. I don’t have much time to waste ruminating on actions. I have work in 20 minutes and a 15 minute walk there.

…

I work at the tutoring center on campus. I mainly help the underclassmen with the major prerequisite courses like MATH 205 and PHYS 100/107/108. It gives me a sense of fulfillment helping others. I know firsthand how hard these classes are. I probably wouldn’t have survived the first year without the help of the tutoring department. It’s part of the reason why I decided to work here making minimum wage. Plus it’ll make my application to work at Dr. Ramsey’s lab look better. I glance through the windows to get a glimpse of who I'll be working with this semester. I hope Dina and I get the same shifts like last semester. I’m sure you can guess who I see though. Ellie. Fucking. Williams.

…

I can feel my eyes rolling. I can’t escape her! Everywhere I turn she’s there. First both our classes are together and now she’s working at the tutoring center? This has to be some sick joke. I look up at her and smile. She looks away and sits in a nearby chair. I sit across from her waiting for someone to instruct us on what to do next. I do regret embarrassing her, but she started it. She nearly pushed me down the stairs just to get ahead of me on top of that too. Maybe I shouldn’t feel so bad, but my heart is still pounding as I look up at her again.

…

The tutoring center supervisor sees us sitting in silence together. She’s nice enough, but her wardrobe is stuck in 2013. I catch myself staring at her oddly patterned top. Ellie notices me staring and gives me a knowing smile.

“I’m so glad you’re both here! You and Ellie will be our main tutors on Monday, Wednesday, Friday for the core physics class. I think you two are already acquainted”

“Oh. I thought Dina and I would be doing that again.”

“Right. I thought you might say that, but with her new course load she’ll be doing Tuesday and Thursday instead.”

“I see.”

“You and Ellie are both top of the class! I feel so lucky to have you guys here.”

I smile and head down to the physics portion of the building.

…

Ellie is following behind me closely. I’m wondering if maybe she’ll apologize, but I doubt she’d ever do that. We both sit down at our respective desks. I look up at her again. I must’ve hit close to home with my comment. She’s helping someone with their MATH 205 homework. Ellie tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. She always wears it half up/half down. Despite our rivalry, I admit to myself that it looks good on her. Her complexion is soft and a spread of freckles paints her nose. She gives them a thumbs up as they leave, and they yell to Ellie, “You’re a life-saver!”

…

After a few hours of no students, I’m getting bored. I can sense the tension between me and Ellie. I think I should say something.

“Hey Ellie, I think I should apologize for earlier.”

“Honestly, it’s fine. I’m glad you finally are stepping up in this little game of ours. I needed a little extra motivation to step up my game so I can get the spot in Dr. Ramsey’s lab”

“God, I knew you were gunning for it too.”

Ellie gets out of her chair and steps closer to me. She creeps in closely. My heart skips a beat for a second. Fuck this girl will be the death of me.

She is only inches from my face. My cheeks begin to flush. The anxiety is bubbling up in my chest. My heart is beating so loud I think Ellie might hear it too.

“May the best win”

…

Oh its fucking on Ellie.

#ellie williams #the last of us #ellie x you #ellie x reader #dina tlou #rivals to lovers #ellie williams fanfic #tlou x reader #tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #college!au #college!ellie williams

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transmascaraa · 2 months

Note

lyney... kissing... ur moles.... 🙏🏻

bf!lyney headcannons!

they make you cuter in his eyes.

bf!lyney x gn!reader

author's note: this req. LOOK I REALLY WANTED TO DO ANOTHER REQ RN BUT THIS ONE WAS TOO ADORABLE OKAY???? js basically reader w a lot of moles on their bodies!! (i love having countless of them i swear) ALSO THIS INCLUDES A BIT OF NUDITY BUT NOTHING SEXUAL OR NSFW SO IT'S UP TO YOU IF YOU WANNA READ IT OR NOT‼️‼️

"one houndred moles equals one hundred kisses..."

-you have plenty of moles all over yourself

-your arms, your legs, you back and belly, chest, basically everywhere

-on your face too

-and even tho nobody mentions it a lot, it's still true; they make you adorable.

-so, with lyney being the simp he is, only for you, he decides to call you from your guys' shared bedroom

-just randomly in the middle of your free time(watching the tv or something)

-"mon amour! do you have an hour? i need to do something really important and i need your help!"

-and of course, you headed towards the bedroom.

-there, you were met with lyney laying on the bed all sprawled out, until he sat up normally, and gestured for you to sit next to him

-"so?" you asked.

-"basically, my dear, i want to admire you. and let you know how much i love you. and adore you. and how i think you're so attractive and cute. and adorable. and-" you cut him off.

-"okay, so basically, you want to rant to me about how you love me like you basically do every 2 or 3 days?"

-"well- something similar. this time, i'll kiss every single one of your moles." he sounded serious, but you were still a little surprised.

-"oh? i mean- i have no objections. sure, but do you really need a whole hour for that?"

-"you never know, my dear~!" he smiled warmly at you, as the two of you slowly just laid back down on the bed.

-you took off your clothes, leaving you in nothing else other than your lower underwear.

-(IF YOU IDENTIFY AS FEMALE THEN YOU CAN IMAGINE THAT YOU STILL HAVE YOUR BRA ON OR WHATEVER MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE EVEN IF YOU AREN'T FEM)

-first he started kissing the moles on your face. there weren't a lot, but there was enough for lyney to kiss the both of your cheeks a few times.

-what a shame that you don't have moles on your lips.

-then, he moved to your neck and shoulders.

-his hands were on you, sure, but they were just resting there. one behind your back and the other on your belly for now.

-"mon cœur... you're so perfect..." he was really looking for them, wanting to kiss you more and more.

-the more, the better.

-a bit of kissing your chest moles until he moved to the both of your arms, slowly going down to your hands.

-"my love, have i ever told you that i love you so much?" just a dramatic question, don't mind him.

-"mhm.. many times..." and with that, he continued his work.

-now, on the places where you would let out a little laugh, where you're ticklish, he'll start laughing too.

-yeah, he won't miss a single one, no matter how ticklish you are.

-finally, moving down to your legs and kissing all of them left there.

-"mmh... how can you be so mesmerizing, my love?.." he said as he got his head back up to look at you directly.

-"i don't know. but what i do know is that you're obsessed with me."

-"it's called adoration, mon amour."

-round 2 is your back and it's what's coming after all of that.

~~~~~

this is fucking adorable

one of my favs i swear

i missed writing for chars individually i swear lmfao this was so fun but it was probably mainly because of it being lyney nvm

| @mariaace <3

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #lyney x reader #lyney x you #lyney x gn reader #lyney x gender neutral reader #i love having moles from now on #always thought they were weird on me #but like lyney would kiss them so it's okay #· nyx's genshin hcs *⁠.⁠✧

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ricegobbler · 3 months

Text

TFP CONS X FEM!CON READER HCS PT.2!

ok so this is part 2. Uhm. I should’ve done this sooner but I’ve been busy😢 good news is im opening requests soon! Ok anyways enjoyyy! (Prob gon make a pt.3)

Oh and btw I’m like having a tiny break rn so I made this out of boredom. So everytime I post smth is mostly bc of boredom😢

Yall might be like “why are you making posts even if your requests r closed?” Like i said, im bored and every post i post is made when i have a break. My breaks dont rlly last long so yeah. And doing requests with only like and hour break or smth isn’t enough time in my opinion, srry. (Hope that made sense..)

(Breakdown, Soundwave, Shockwave)

REQUESTS STILL CLOSED‼️‼️‼️

Warnings‼️: mentions of figthing(s)

—————————————-

Breakdown:

-One of our favorite strong boys☺️

-honestly, just like knockout, he would be interested in meeting you but since he’s in the medbay he’s gonna have to hear about you from rumors or Starscream.

-The first time he saw you was at a meeting, you didn’t interact at all, but he atleast saw you and thought you were beautiful.

-I honestly could see this man day dreaming abt u in the med bay like:

Knockout organizing his supplies in the Medbay, “Breakdown, why are you so silent all of a sudden?-“ turns around to see Breakdown day dreaming. “Oh primus..” Knockout mumbled..

Random silence in the Medbay.

“Y/n is so pretty..” Breakdown suddenly said, leaving Knockout just face planting himself.

-Then the day finally came, the day he finally had a chance to speak to you.

-you were coming into the Medbay, wounded from a fight against the Autobots. As you came in you met optics with Breakdown, then Knockout.

-After Knockout fixed you up, Breakdown quickly started a conversation with you.

“Hello,” Breakdown started, your optics widen a bit at the sudden voice but you turn around and see the blue mech look at you sweetly, “hello?…you’re Breakdown, right?..” you ask a little awkwardly.

-After the two of you introduced yourselves, the two of you were quickly close.

-Everyday you’d visit the Medbay when they’re slow and no injured vehicons or others, talking to Breakdown. Knockout would sometimes smirk at Breakdown as he’d talk to you, you didn’t find that out until after you became mates with Breakdown. (I think they’re called conjuxes?? I forgot, ima use mates for now-)

-Speaking of mates, the day finally came when Breakdown confessed to you. He confessed to you a little nervously, I could see him stuttering a bit and rubbing the back of his neck canes with a servo, or fidgeting with his fingers instead. You have got to accept his love bc what he said to you was so adorable 😢

-he’d definitely call you either “love” or just “my spark.” PDA?? Yes, he wants to let others know your his. How he kisses? Pretty passionate. He’d also become protective of you, and he’d BEG you to come to the Medbay since he’s mostly in there all day.

Soundwave:

-MY NUMBER ONE FAV WAVE😍😍

-he’s soo..WHXBDHRIEJNX

-anyways.

-when you first arrived he didn’t care or say anything, he literally can’t say anything at all tho so🤷🏻‍♀️ bros a mute💀

-I feel like he’d show you around the Nemesis kinda like how Starscream would. Or, he would go over important things you needed to know by playing a recording of Megatron talking abt that kind of stuff.

-When the day you fought the Autobots for the first time since you joined them he was in awe. A fem like you having strength like that? Ofc he knows he’s stronger tho so.

-The next time you’d see him after your battle he would silently just stand infront of you.

Soundwave standing infront of you, looking down/up at you. “Uhm..Soundwave?..why have you blocked my way..” you ask, he then plays a recording going like, “Y/N-strong-very-strong-it-is-impressive.”

Your optics widened but you just smiled at him, “oh thank you, Soundwave..” he then placed a smiley face on his visor and walked away.

-Everytime there would be a meeting you’d see him plaster a smile on his visor and you’d smile back. He’s too silly.

-I feel like you’d fall first. Why? Idk. He’s too silly to resist. I mean, am I wrong tho???

-When he’d fall for you he’d either confess to you by using a recording, or show you smth he typed on his visor. (Like a poem ykyk)

-he wouldn’t call you any names. Bc. Yk. But he would let you watch some things on his visor when not busy. You found the show, “my little pony.” How? Just know that Megatron may or may not have watched it once and you saw.

-Since Soundwave doesn’t rlly have a mouth you just kiss him on the visor and he’d place a smiley face, holding you around the waist. PDA?? Ehhh…yes. Just maybe not infront of Megatron.

Shockwave:

-illogical my ass once eye mf.

-jk I love this mad scientist <33

-he did not gaf abt ur arrival. At. All. Like he’s busy tryna make some shit in his lab 😢

-but, the first time he ever saw you was when you explored the Nemesis alone and entered his lab.

“What is the purpose of your arrival..” Shockwave asked, “nothing. Just..lookin around..” you say back

-he wanted you OUT. Like go away bitch🙄

-but you didn’t, so you just stayed and started chatting with him as he did work. Sometimes when Shockwave either needed smth yours grab it for him.

-or, when he makes a mistake (which will probably never happen bc he’s a smart ass) you’d correct him. You’d then start talkin abt science things which perks his interest with you. He hates your humor tho.

“Would you like to hear something humorous?” You ask, “no. Jokes are illogical.” He responded, continuing his work.

-rude.

-honestly it’d take a whileeeee for yall to click. He’d start falling for you eventually tho. His confession wasn’t anything sweet, it was just some straight up confession.

-one day in the lab you wanted to help Shockwave out, and once it got all quiet between yall he literally just blurted, “I’ve grown some feelings for you.” Smth like that.

-of course you felt the same. You had to. He has big boobs😍

-I feel like he’d call you “little one” or “my spark” how he kisses?? Blud don’t got a mouth. You’d kiss his helm tho softly, and PDA?? Only in his lab, he’s kinda serious, but he loves you dearly and would protect you. He’d also make you things himself like gifts! <33

————————————-

Ok this one’s kinda bad tbh. I’m sorry☹️ I’ll do a pt.3 as soon as I can! Sorry for how late this is too btw!!

#transformers #tfp breakdown #TFP breakdown x reader #tfp soundwave #TFP Soundwave x reader #tfp shockwave #TFP shockwave x reader #⁉️#uh #tags #balls #OO PUT IT DOWN.

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xylerray · 1 year

Text

Wandarer and Reader seeing each other for the first time again

Game: Genshin Impact

Character shown: Traveller, Paimon, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Reader

Authors note: OKAY OKAY HOLD UP SO I JUST READ A FAN FIC AND THE AUTHOR SAID I COULD USE IT FOR SMTH OWN AND I WAS LIKE „FUCK HELL YEAH“ SO IMMA DO THAT NOW. I WILL ALSO REPOST IT SO YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON LMAO. And if I give you a gender or smth I am very sorry and also very sorry for grammar mistakes.

Inspiration from: @fruityvegetable THANKS A FUCKING LOT FOR THAT I JUST AHHHH CANT RN PLSSSS (can I get ur dc pls?)

„It‘s okay.“ the Traveller said. Then they explained to you in great detail who he was. Your eyes widen with every story they told. But then they said one thing „He is the son of the Raiden Shogun. A failed puppet.“ with just that it hit you. You jumped up from the seat on the bench. „MY LOVE THAT IS MY LOVE“ you screamed, already rushing after him. „Their what now?“ Paimon asked confused and in the next moment all three of you were looking for him. But you sadly couldn’t find him. After a whole day looking for him and not finding him you broke down. „How could I be THAT stupid. I didn’t even remember him. The one that tried to protect my little brother. The one that showed me the world.“ tears running down your face as your voice broke into many pieces. „This is all my fault. I am so sorry Traveller.“ The traveller answered:“it’s okay. He erased himself from the world. It is a wonder you remembered him. And when he finds out he‘ll cherish it I’m sure of that.“

In this night you hardly could fall asleep. Wanderer always crossed your mind and you judged yourself for not remembering him even more. „But I still love him… I will always do so…“ you whispered.

The next morning went sloppy for you. With almost no sleep you tried to get into your clothes somehow but didn’t quite manage to do that. You stepped out of your small apartment. The sun shining directly into you face, the sunshine’s feeling like the sun is screaming for the day to be good but for you nothing was good. You lost your one and only love. You did not remember him. How could you??? Why?????? You went to the meeting spot from yesterday hoping the Wanderer would cross this way once again. And after 2 hours waiting he did. But as soon as the little puppet noticed you he turned around and made a run from it. But this time you won’t let that happen. With the low energy you had you sprinted after him and pushed him down with you landing on him.

„What the hell? What are you thinking?!“ shouted the little man beneath you. You sat up and let him breath a bit. „I wanted to apologise, my love! I was so stupid! You are the most important person in my life and I just forgot you! I am for real a big disappointment. I am very sorry again.“ you stated, staring straight into his eyes. The failed experiment in front of you just sat there not even breathing. He admired you in the moment. „My love“ you still called him that. You…still loved him… „Dear?“ you tilted your head with a worried look on your face.

The next second was blurred out of you memory and your lips were one. Shocked you sat there until you gave in. Even if Scara seems to be bad at a lot he certainly gives the best passionate kisses. When you pulled away you only had eyes for his angry expression. „I thought I had lost you. Don’t give me such a freaking fright again ,understood moron?“ Scara scoffed. „Yeah sure my dear.“ you giggled

The Traveller and Paimon staring from far:“ if they won’t watch out, they will make children on the street.“ „TRAVELLER“

Hehe this is a lil rushed now I hope you still like it! Thanks for reading! Requests open!

Bye<3 Good morning/evening/night/day<333

#genshin imagines #genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x gender neutral reader #Genshin impact one shots #wanderer x you #wanderer x reader #traveller

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winryrockbellwannabe · 8 months

Note

hey, first off all just wanna say your blog is so cool i love seeing you on my dash!

i was just wondering if you had any tips for first year students and how to manage time? i think that’s the aspect i have been struggling with the most is time management and getting enough sleep rn.

omg tysm!!! 💜💜💜 so glad you like my posts!! and hope your enjoying your 1st year so far <3

So, how to manage your time:

tbh I haven't understood it that well myself. Personally im a little time blind, so i coordinate my schedule based on tasks i have to do, instead of time.

So instead of: study physics for an hour, it could be something like: understand The Schrödinger equation or study 40 pages.

My only time blocks are: morning, afternoon (before snack time, before dinner) and before going to bed. Which i particularly like since it's more flexible, and if i didn't manage to accomplish everything, i can just move it a bit, instead of ruining the whole thing.

My planner usually looks like this: (it's a bit light, since i had classes all day both monday and today, but you get the idea)

But if you like to study in time blocks, my tip is to give them space to be flexible. So if you delay smth it doesn't ruin your entire schedule, and you won't be so stressed about the time as well.

For example, you think you'll take 1h to do this assignment? Save 1h30 for it, if you end up actually needing this extra time, then you're still in time. If you only needed 1h, you can take a break and move to your next task earlier than planned.

Alarms are a student's best friend for time tracking. And a bonus advantage is that it also forces me not to be on my phone, since i set the alarm in there, and it's a visual reminder that i should be working.

Another important thing to do is to ✨ prioritize✨ your tasks!! Your final exam is way more important than a report that's only 10% your grade. Sure, if you can do both it's perfect, but don't waste too much time perfecting smth that's not that important.

Oh, and if you feel like the way your professor explains isn't doing it for you, just forget about that class! It's a waste of time to be 2 hours in a classroom, not even understanding what the professor is saying and stressing about it. Just find some good notes, and study them in the library during that time instead.

Also, for the not enough sleep problem. I feel you. That was me in the second semester of 1st year. I would lose track of time, sometimes just procrastinating, and forget to sleep. My solution for that is ✨alarms✨. I usually wake up at 7:30, so everyday i have an alarm set for 23:00 to remind myself to go to sleep, and another for 24:00, just in case i ignored the first one lol. Really improved my sleep schedules.

(And a little extra (tho i intend to do a bigger post about this soon)

1st year tips in general: Find ways to be interested in your classes, so it's easier to study. Watch documentaries about it, discuss stuff with ppl that love that subject. Even if you are learning how to solve integrals so you can help your crush - totally not talking from experience. If it get's you motivated, then that's all that matters. DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS!!! I promise your professors aren't judging you, and if your classmates are, well, they won't be judging anymore when you ace that test. And force yourself to take breaks. I would put on my t.do list to watch an episode of a series daily, bc i would be so stressed i would forget to do that. And taking breaks it's super important.)

(sorry for the huge post, I really hope at least one tip in here will be useful for you. Thank you for the ask, and best of luck for this uni year!!! Feel free to ask anymore questions💜)

#asks #studyblr #study blog #studyspo #stemblr #stem student #study blr #time management #adhd things #adhd study tips #- since most of those are time management tips most of my adhd friends also use

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mazeinthemiroh · 2 years

Text

san sfw alphabet

genre: fluff

word count: 2.7k

warnings: none

requested?: yes

song rec: astroboy. by suggi

pls like and reblog if you enjoyed! feel free to request anything <3

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection)

ha, this makes me laugh

because we all know that sannie is the fluffiest fluff-ball to ever fluff

he is SO affectionate like that's not even a question

i'm talking physically, verbally, everything. he is the man when it comes to affection

he constantly showers you with praise and loving words, and is always cuddling or holding you in some way when you are together. he likes to give affection both through the form of words as well as touch

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

the ultimate hype man™

he's your no.1 supporter. if you have an idea or a goal or a dream, he encourages you to go for it and don't look back with any regrets

he likes to do impulsive stuff with his bestie. like you guys are walking and see an arcade or something and then spend the next hour and a half there, totally changing your plans for the day

he also gets random rushes of energy with you like expect a very hyper san!!

you must know, as his best friend, that there is a loyalty oath. a pledge of allegiance for each other, if you will. he takes any close connections he has very seriously so if you break his trust its very hard to build it back up

c - cuddles (would they like to cuddle? how do they cuddle?)

yes.

just yes.

that's all i really have to say

yes to cuddling. a green tick to nuzzling. a big thumbs up to the snuggles

he is, to put it plainly, obsessed with cuddling you. like if he didn't have to restrain himself he will be on you, 24/7, all the time. he just loves you he loves being soft and fluffy because, lets face it, he is a cat

how does he like to cuddle? how doesn't he like to cuddle???

seriously though if he had to pick a favourite cuddle position, after much extensive consideration (yes this was very important to him to decide) he manages to narrow his choices down to two: 1) the 'sweethearts cradle,' with you putting your head on his chest while he holds you close to his chest. and 2) the spoon. obviously. i know its simple but he just loves wrapping his arms around you and snuggling into your neck from behind you i am very soft rn

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

i think san would want to settle down in good time

once h has his heart set on someone he really just wants to go all the way with them and experience everything with them, which makes the relationship seem rushed to outsiders, but to you guys, it feels like a perfectly right pace. you guys are just so into each other that's why. when the spark happens, it happens 🤷‍♀️

in terms of household chores, he's more than happy to help where help is needed. you might have to teach him a couple of recipes here and there but once he gets the hang of things he will for sure be cooking for you a lot. he likes treating you to his own homemade dinner sometimes, when he's feeling confident in the kitchen though lol

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

it would cause him so much pain tbh

he would end up doing it as quickly as possible, like taking off a band-aid/plaster. quick and swift

which wasn't his plan to begin with. he would've wanted to ease you into the breaking up but he just couldn't stand the tension

he would probably be very apologetic if he broke it off (depending on the situation tbh)

f = fiance (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

when in a relationship san's mind become automatically romantic

he is caught between a person who just wants to live in the present vs a person who is planning out their whole future with their s/o. like... he's just both. it depends on the day??

he loves commitment because he is, by nature, a very loyal person. but while the whole relationship has been quick and rushed (feeling natural that way) he probably wouldn't want to rush into marriage quite yet. he has to contain himself; he knows deep down all in good time will these things come about

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

gentle for the most part

there are times when he may come off too strongly in terms of physical affection, which can overwhelm a particularly shy or timid s/o. he likes to have someone he can pretty much throw himself at and cuddle all the time and depending on the type of person you are, that can be a bit intense

emotionally, san can sometimes have a rough edge to him. not intentionally. maybe he's had a bad day at work, or he couldn't get a move right in dance practice, sometimes you just need to leave him be so he calms down and cools off. depending on how you handle these things, he might be a bit blunt or snap at you if you keep asking him questions and possibly getting on his nerves. he doesn't mean any harm by it at all, it's just if something is upsetting him or weighing on his mind, there's not much either of you can do

overall it will depend on his mood. like anyone, if he's in a bad mood he will usually act differently. but san rarely has these bad moves so its safe to say you will see a much gentler side of san more frequently than anything else

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

adores hugs

tbh he especially lives back hugs like he's just that type of guy. loves wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back to his chest, leaving soft butterfly kisses on your neck

and he melts when you give him back hugs. it just makes him feel soft and cute

he's just a lover of hugs in general. he really appreciates it when you pull him in for one, it makes him feel warm and safe

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

fairly fast

when san loves someone, he loves them intensely and without any doubt. so don't be surprised if he confesses his love to you in the first couple of weeks of you dating (depending on the frequency and time you spend with each other)

it's like he can't help himself from falling so quickly. and he is convinced that he must, he simply must tell you his feelings

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

i'd say on a scale of 1 - 10 on how jealous someone can be, 10 being the most jealous, i'd say san is a solid 8.5, maybe even higher?

he's mentioned that he has low self-esteem (which btw is beyond me because he's literally the best man ever, just saying) and with this mindset he has comes with him comparing himself to others

so if you are talking to someone he deems as better looking than himself, he will be jealous more often than not. he starts to have doubts like 'maybe y/n deserves someone better' etc

you can tell he is jealous when he becomes quiet and lost in thought, a slight pout laying on his lips as he holds a low gaze

so please reassure him that he is perfect and amazing and there is a reason why you chose him

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

sweet, soft, seductive

that's our san 🥳

depends on his mood. he likes soft little kisses when he's cuddling you or when you've done something endearing. he usually likes kissing you on the neck <3

and he likes getting kisses there too. or on his collarbone. or cheek. or forehead. he don't mind

but the lip kisses 💋 mwah, so passionate

he doesn't give you a chance to breathe it's just so steamy and full of love all at once his kisses are amazing, yes

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

super cute

he puts on an adorable baby voice for them and does whatever they want him to do because he just wants them to like him :(

gives them candy and stuff even when their parents say they aren't allowed

he just loves them, and the kids love him too!! its a win win situation

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

he's sleepy and just wants more cuddles

it is absolutely necessary that you wake up with him. like. physically. he likes to wake up and see you still there

like if you're not next time him, first of all, how did you wiggle out of his death grip??

second of all, where are you?? how dare you leave him???

he might let you off if you're downstairs making him breakfast but ONLY THIS ONCE

you'll have to make it up to him with more cuddles and kisses yk

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

likes to talk to you in a low, hushed voice

it will get all croaky towards the end of the night because you guys have been talking for hours

idk he loves spending nights with you because it feels like the only time where he can fully relax with you without any distractions

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he won't reveal everything all at once. but being open is a very frequent thing for him

lemme explain

each time you guys go out and spend time together, obviously you guys reveal a lot more about yourselves to each other

the more quality time you have, the more san will open up to you more. piece by piece, moment by moment, you will start learning more about him

he allows himself to be more and more vulnerable when he knows you're taking a sincere interest in him

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

i think it takes a lot for san to be actually angry, especially with his dearest s/o

he can be easily irritated but those are two completely different things

it depends how far he's been pushed. if his limit and boundaries have been broken then its really hard for him to turn back with a cool head

but with his s/o it's unlikely he will become angry. unless someone is mistreating his s/o in any way they better run fast

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he will remember things about you the more you remember things about him

does that make sense? idk lemme explain-

once he realises that 'oh, this person is taking an interest in me and what i have to say. and on top of that, they remember what i told them before about this and that. they must really be into me' and then he will reciprocate the same energy

it's important for him when the interest is mutual and goes both ways

r = remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

your first kiss together <3

he views it as such a precious memory. he hadn't planned on kissing you that day, it was just something that... happened

you were just at a coffee shop together, and you were laughing over a story he was telling about an incident that happened at dance practice that day. the sparkle in your laugh, the amusement in your gaze, the beauty in your energy. its like he had a sudden epiphany that he was very much in love with you. it was a feeling that overwhelmed his senses, so much so that he couldn't control himself from leaning in to collide his lips with you

yeah, he never regretted that moment, that's for sure

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he's protective alright. he is constantly supporting you and he will literally batter anyone who hurts you in any way

if you tell him that someone at your work/college has been mistreating you or upsetting you in any way, you can see how instantly his demeanour changes, gaze turning dark and angry as he clenches his jaw

no one hurts his baby

as for the receiving protection, he would like if you also had his back to defend him too. he likes that in your relationship, you both are there for each other, always

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

i can't lie, sannie-boy is romantic fr

he buys you gifts every now and then, and they are always something personal and thoughtful that touch your heart

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

sannie can get opinionated

he can be a bit of a hot-head at times

so in a heated argument, it might be hard for him to see anyone else's point of you. he has his own morals, standards and priorities and sometimes he's passion clouds his judgement, and he may find difficulty to accept someone else's argument

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

he knows he's gorgeous and hot as hell

but obviously there are times where he doesn't think so. depending on the day and what mindset he has, he might notice things he doesn't like about his appearance his face is so beautiful tho i don't understand him

his self-esteem fluctuates so overall it just depends on the day

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

oh yeah

like i said before, san is fiercely loyal. he gives his all into a relationship. if he loves someone so much he will be so attached to them

the feeling of emptiness may feel him when he isnt with you for a long period of time. so he will always check in and make sure you're ok and stuff

he never wants to get used to being without you

x = xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

he loves playing with your hair

just fiddling with it in between his fingers and running his hands through it whilst looking at you with much admiration...

and boy, does he really wanna style it for you

if you let him it will be such a pleasure for him to style it in any way he wants if you end up looking like an idiot thats on him

in all seriousness though, i think he would be really good at styling your hair, and very gentle too. if you wince and start making uncomfortable noises he would be concerned and try to be gentler

he loves learning new styles!! he feels a sense of accomplishment when he does it right and makes you look so good hehe <333

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

he doesn't like people who are indifferent and heartless. someone who is lacking compassion and kindness comes across as really unattractive to san

because if he favours one thing in a companion, be it platonic or romantic, it is being kindhearted. thats the most important thing for him

z = zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

san is known for loving to sleep with a pillow

or in general just something to hug close to his chest and cling onto while he sleeps

its a comfort thing. it just feels natural and comfortable for him yk?

so having an s/o would be super helpful in this aspect because not only will his arms never be empty, but also he will be holding close the love of his life all night long

#choi san #san #ateez #atz #kpop #requested #ateez fluff #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #atz fluff #ateez headcanons #kpop scenarios #fluff #ateez x reader #atz x reader #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop x reader

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sunnyxjarrus · 1 month

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Emerie essay part 2

important stuff is under the cut

Here is the first post on this because it would be wrong for me to make you scroll through my blog of absolute chaos

So kids as of the last time I made a post about Emerie Karr ,who I adore, I said I was working on an essay and guess what it’s nearly midnight and I had a random energy burst and just went for the binder and pens of every color I could so I will be rewatching most of season three in the next 24 hours and oh my goodness the first part of the finale is coming

anyway apologies for the disruption to your regular programmed crisis for a different one that just came to mind and I promise I am getting to the point

anyway I am just doing Emerie Lore for the essay saying what I think happened providing evidence including time stamps and I will probably make a tik tok over this and my username is exactly the same if you want a way less filtered version of this

but so far we are talking about my baby’s obvious mommy issues as we all suspected but was practically confirmed in Identity crisis and I am just meshing it as chronologically as possible rn so I also have her and hemlock’s relationship that I have my main evidence for from season 3 e3 I think it was maybe it was episode one but it is definitely one of those because I got into an argument about it because I don’t have people who think things through with logic and empathize with characters and try to understand them better but anyway just saying that I am actually working on it right now and it’s already taking up so much space

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #tbb spoilers #tbb omega #the bad batch spoilers #Tbb e #tbb emerie #emeri #emerie karr #tantiss #tbb tantiss #mount tantiss #royce hemlock #Tbb h #tbb hemlock

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aloneinthehellfire · 11 months

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Chapter 3: Phantom Lord

Raining Hellfire (Eddie's Version) | Part One

Word Count: 3580

Warnings: swearing, bullying, i swear writing these is boosting my serotonin levels he's just adorable rn

[A/N: Massive applause to anyone mildly interested in this fic , I've been writing these chapters just to distract my mind from the many horrors of life-]

Phantom Lord

Paired with RH1: Chapter 3: Photo-Op

“Hey there, freak.”

“Wow, who let the freak out?”

“Who is that guy, again?”

Eddie walked through the murmurs of gossip and attention-seekers, ignoring the disgusted looks from the cheerleading team. As he passed them, he thought he recognised one of the girls, her head down as she hugged her books, barely glancing up through her blonde bangs. She looked kind of embarrassed.

If he hadn’t caught his Walkman in his driver’s seat door, then he wouldn’t have to put up with this. He’d be strolling through the halls with Metallica soothing his urge to scream.

When he finally made it to his locker, he began shoving in his new DnD campaign ideas and caught sight of a slip of paper resting among an old plastic bag. With a frown, Eddie plucked it from his locker and turned the paper over. His heart dropped a little.

‘You won’t be so lucky next time Freak’

Eddie’s gaze drifted over his shoulder to where Tommy and Carol were stood, smiling sinisterly at him. Carol gave a little wave just as Tommy loosened his arm from her shoulders and started walking over to him.

Crumpling up the paper, Eddie chucks it back in his locker and takes a deep breath. Not one day went by where he was just left alone.

Tommy’s hand reached out and slammed his locker shut, leaning with a grin. Eddie simply rolls his eyes and, in turn, catches a glimpse of something that boosted his day by millions.

You’re shoving books into your backpack, looking over your shoulder and frowning. Eddie watches as you walk over to the bulletin board and rip away a poster that looked to be graffitied with red ink. There was something about you that looked a little sadder today, almost closed off. And his theory became apparent when you actively avoided talking to Wheeler and Harrington, a sick look on your features.

Eddie knows you’re upset, a jumpy look anytime a locker slammed shut. He wanted to go up to you, but he was too busy listening to Tommy’s rants about how ‘freaks like him shouldn’t be let into public places’ or something along the lines of that stupidity.

And once the shrill echo of the bell echoed through the halls, he didn’t have time to say hello or attempt to help you with whatever was clouding your mind. You were off in a rush, gripping tightly onto the marked paper in your hand and disappearing into the crowd.

He knew he should be attending his English class. It was important to his grades, ones that were failing miserably. Once upon a time, Eddie had been ahead of his class. But once he started giving up on trying to prove himself, his attention span plummeted drastically.

It didn’t help that in their last session, they were given a pop quiz that Eddie struggled through entirely. He couldn’t help it; the longer he stared at the page, the worse the words became. He found that he seriously couldn’t concentrate without music blaring into his ears.

So, instead, he made the executive decision to skip.

There wasn’t anywhere he could really go without old Princi showing up and threatening another suspension or whatever. Not inside the school, anyway.

That’s how he ended up with his back against the bark of a thick tree, staring out into the distance. And he had been there for about 2 hours.

It wasn’t his fault really. As soon as he sat down, his mind had raced through his campaign for the following evening, trying to remember any inconsistencies. And, in turn, he started to drift off. It wasn’t until the second bell rang that he was startled awake, rubbing his eyes against the blinding sun.

Eddie wondered where you were right now. Probably doing school work like he was meant to. And he bet you were a genius. Nothing like him, then. Jesus, why would someone like you even want to be seen around him? He wasn’t smart enough, or cool enough, or-

With a frustrated sigh, Eddie knocked the back of his head against the tree trunk and scrunched his eyes shut. He really wished he had a functioning Walkman right about now.

In a desperate attempt to distract himself from all his thoughts, he bends his knees and begins tapping them. It felt like a natural move; air guitar just wouldn’t hit right. Soon the tapping became a furious beat, the last song he listened to taking over his fingers with the metal rhythm. In fact, he was so used to the Metallica song blaring at him recently that his imagination soon took over.

Hear the cry of war

Louder than before

With his sword in hand-

Someone plopped down on the grass beside him and Eddie’s heart leaped into his throat, practically bouncing off the tree. Then a sweet melody erupted in the air and he instantly knew who it belonged to.

“Don’t let me stop you.” You laughed, shuffling around the tree and, once you were satisfied, stretching your legs.

“You’re really good at sneaking up on a person.” He laughed back, moving around until he was sat directly next to you. It was an automatic response for him to be as close as he could get.

“Why did I have to move to this side of the tree? Mine was much comfier.” Eddie asked, slumping down with one of his legs bent. He was trying desperately not to stare at you, instead positioning his head so he could look into the distance. It didn’t stop his eyes however.

“I skipped History.” You said simply, resting your head against the tree trunk. The way the sun hit your face- jesus, you were killing him.

“Ah. I suppose I’m in the presence of a… rebel?” Eddie faked shock, clasping both his hands on either side of his face. It made you smile, and his life felt complete.

“A regular trouble-maker.” You nodded, looking out at the field before you.

“Well, I’m glad. Can’t argue with the company.” He smirked, glancing your way. When your eyes met his it always made his heart flutter.

“So, what were you pretending to listen to?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. Eddie winced.

“You saw that?”

“I think everyone in my class could see it.”

“I hope they enjoyed the show.” He chuckled. Now he understood why you positioned yourself further around the oak tree. You were tactical.

“You play the drums?” You say, mimicking his earlier solo demonstration and he couldn’t help grin.

“Nope, more of a guitar guy.” He admits. The best part of Eddie’s day was getting home after a long day and just strumming along another song he cooked up for his band. Just thinking about it now made him that much more peaceful.

“You’re so obsessed with your guitar. I can feel it.” You deduced suddenly and Eddie’s eyes widen.

You were laughing as his shocked face met yours.

“If you were to see her, you would be too.” Eddie defends. Maybe he should be a little more embarrassed at his love for an inanimate object. But at this point, he felt too comfortable with you to try and hide it.

“I’ll take your word for it.” You nudge his shoulder, and Eddie narrows his eyes. This was the perfect opportunity to test the waters.

“No, I don’t think I accept that. You will definitely meet her someday and bow to her greatness.”

A smile happened, something shy and giddy. You look down, fiddling with the hem of your jacket. Fuck, you were so unbelievably cute.

Rather than admit to his feelings, he clears his throat. “What about you? Any instruments? You could join my band.”

“Uh no, not really, but you have a band?” You ask with full excitement.

“Yeah!” He smiled, sitting upright. “We’re called, uh, Corroded Coffin.” He added quietly, scared of your response.

It wasn’t everyone’s taste, for sure. And certainly not something approved by parents. In fact, maybe it was a stupid name. You’re gonna hate it, he’ll hate it, they’ll just have to come up with something brand new or just quit altogether-

“That’s…” You begin, eyes light. “...so freaking cool.”

“You think?” Eddie grabbed onto his hair and covered his face, hoping to hide the little red that crept onto his cheeks. It made you smile.

“Definitely.” You assured, earning a wide smile from Eddie, his big brown eyes staring back at you.

You really exceeded every expectation Eddie had of you. Just when he thought you couldn’t get any more perfect, you always topped it. Everything you did was just mesmerising, even little things like the way you adjusted your jacket against the hot weather, revealing a hint of the shirt you wore.

Eddie thought he stopped breathing.

“Wait, Metallica?” He said excitedly, spinning around the grass so he was sat directly in front of you and pointing at your shirt.

“Ah, yeah, I found it earlier this year when I was shopping with Nancy. She didn’t really like it but they just came out with their album ‘Kill Them All’ and I understand it’s not really her kind of music but once you start listening it’s so hard to stop.” You ramble, smiling down at the fabric.

Eddie was fully shocked.

“Favourite song?” He questioned, determined to find out if you were just playing with him.

“Phantom Lord.” You replied immediately. Oh fuck.

“Good choice.” He nodded casually, trying not to scream in absolute awe of the woman you are. “I didn’t think you listened to that kind of music.”

“I listen to basically every kind of music. Growing up in a house where everyone had different music tastes will do that to you, I guess.” You laughed, but Eddie noticed your smile faltered at the mention of your family.

He figured you didn’t have a great home life. From avoiding your surname completely to the way your face fell anytime you talked about them… he understood, he really did. It’s why he decided not to push it until you were ready to talk about it.

“So you get the best of everything. It’s a sweet deal.” Eddie decided to say, a relieved look in your expression when he didn’t pry.

“Yeah, until I spend all my money on cassette tapes.” You laugh softly.

“Any you think I would like?” He asked. He was looking at you now, not even distracted by the sound of bell as students rushed around to get to lunch.

“Hm, I’ll think about it.” You smile as if you already knew.

As soon as you stand, Eddie mirrors your movements, leaning down to grab your bag and hand it over to you. Should he have carried it? Shit, Wayne always told him to offer to carry a lady’s bag. Or would it send the wrong impression?

Even with his flurry of anxious thoughts, you managed to calm him when you asked what other bands he listened to, what Corroded Coffin played and if you could attend any gigs. Every little gesture you made to being genuinely interested in what he had to say meant everything.

In your own world, you both somehow drifted towards the cafeteria. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the Hellfire Club sat at their usual table, busy discussing something that normally Eddie would be invested in knowing. But he didn’t think bringing you to the table of freaks and nerds would be a good idea. Not when you obviously have problems with the assholes ‘running’ this place.

So, instead, he sat across from you at a free space on the end of a busy table, the other kids too busy in their conversations to even notice. Eddie wondered why he had never seen you in the cafeteria before. Surely he would have noticed you?

As Eddie goes to answer your question on which Black Sabbath songs you should begin with, laughter erupted from behind him before some pretty unholy sounds echoed about. From the annoyed look on your face, he just had to turn around.

“Oh Steve!” Carol was moaning while Tommy proceeded to make clear gestures to their joke. Nancy Wheeler was retreating further into her seat while Harrington was attempting to diffuse the situation. As if he could ever have control over those idiots.

Eddie turns back to you just in time to see you lean across the table and snag an apple from a deserted plate. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow, your eyes set across the room before your raise your arm and the apple slipped from your fingers.

Following the direction, he watched the hard fruit fly across the room until it hit Tommy’s back. Their little show came to an abrupt end as Tommy began searching for the culprit. Eddie ducked down, shifting his head to see you had done the same.

Once Tommy had returned to his seat and the air was deemed safe, you both popped your heads back up. Your eyes lock and you burst into laughter.

“Nice aim.” Eddie laughed, looking over at Tommy now rubbing the sore spot on his back.

He caught sight of Nancy’s smile sent your way. Eddie’s suspicions of you were confirmed there and then; you would fight anything to make your friends happy. He wished he had that confidence instead of running from his problems all the time.

Just as Eddie was about to shift back around, he clocked the frown Harrington was sending to you, the boy’s eyes meeting his before settling back on yours. You must have responded because then he was looking away and joining in a conversation. That was weird. Too weird.

Eddie started to feel something horrid twisting his insides.

“Are you free later?” He broke the silence, focusing back on his sandwich in hope that it made him appear nonchalant.

“Yeah.” You reply quickly, but then your face twists. “I mean, no. I’m not. I have plans today.”

“Oh.” He responded before he could stop his mouth voicing his disappointment.

“But I’m free tomorrow.” You quickly add and he meets your eyes again, smiling. He waited for you to explain your plans for tonight, but you never did. Maybe it wasn’t his business.

“Well, did you want to... hang out?” Eddie threw it out there, trying to make it as vague as possible just in case he was wrong.

“Definitely.” You grin at him and his heart skips. Thank god. Eddie wasn’t even sure how he was gonna brush it off if you said no.

He notices your eyes flicker to something behind him and, once again, you became very distracted. But he was used to that already; he wasn’t offended.

“Uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then? I have some stuff I need to sort out.” You start to stand from your seat, slipping the bag onto your shoulder.

“See you tomorrow.” He nods as you walk away.

He barely has time to acknowledge that he’s going to be spending more time with you when someone jumps on him from behind. Eddie truly thinks his heart stopped beating.

“Take us to your leader.” A fake robotic voice drawled into his ear and he’s immediately laughing, shoving them off his back.

“Jesus, Gareth, you tryna kill me?” Eddie shakes his head as his Hellfire members slide into the seats opposite.

He simply just stares at Eddie, a weird smile staining his face.

“The hell are you making that face for?” Eddie grimaces, noticing Jeff’s snicker.

“You wanna, uh, share something with the group?” Gareth insinuates, leaning forward with a smirk.

Eddie knows exactly what he’s referring to. His reputation among his peers was pretty good, they respected him for sure, but they certainly didn’t see him as a ladies-man.

“Yeah, matter of fact, I do.” Eddie nods, dumping the rest of his sandwich on an empty tray. “Hellfire’s off tomorrow.”

“What?” Jeff’s mouth drops open and Gareth recoils.

Never in his time as Hellfire Dungeon Master has he ever cancelled a campaign. Not even when Louis was attacked by a cat (that thing was the devil incarnate and not in a cool way) and ended up in hospital getting shots for every kind of disease. Or even when Carl’s dad was reversing the car in their driveway and accidentally ran over his son’s foot; that scream would have been heard for miles but in a few months he was good as new. And yet, here he was, doing it with such ease that his friends couldn’t believe their ears.

“Why the hell would you do that?” Gareth interrogates, narrowing his eyes.

“I have plans.” Eddie shrugs, but Gareth sees straight through him.

“Shit, man, don’t tell me you’re letting a girl control your life already?” He assesses and Eddie groans.

“No, asshole, I just decided that we should move Hellfire to Fridays. End of the week makes more sense, right?”

“It would make my mom happier that I wasn’t staying late on a school night.” Jeff concludes quietly and Gareth sucks his teeth.

“Who is she, anyway?” He asks and Eddie is ready for the ground to swallow him whole. “She one of the wannabes?”

“No.” Eddie answers too quickly for there to be any chance in convincing them his feelings were only casual.

“Oh my god.” Jeff leans back, blinking. “Eddie Munson has a crush.”

“A crush? Dude, no.” Gareth grimaces, “We already agreed that girls are only gonna drag us down and tear us away from valuable time we could be spending on finishing a god damn campaign.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie rubs his temple, “you’re so dramatic sometimes.”

Jeff mindlessly nods until Gareth sends him a look and then he’s vigorously shaking his head.

“Whatever, man, I can deal with Hellfire Fridays.” Gareth sighs, slumping in his seat. “But I swear to God, if you end up ditching us-”

“Not gonna happen.” Eddie insists, palms against the table as she pushes off his seat. “Now I gotta sort some shit out before Wayne’s back so I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Yeah, just not at Hellfire.” Gareth grumbles and Jeff jabs his side, earning a yelp of objection.

Soon they’re all standing, Gareth making his way past Eddie and Jeff following behind.

Eddie’s about to leave for his van when he feels Jeff’s hand on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

“Just ignore him, man.” Jeff smiles, nodding to the doors you had disappeared through earlier. “She seems cool.”

“She is.” Eddie frowns as Jeff catches up with Gareth.

He can’t help feeling like he’s disappointed his friends. Gareth had every right to be annoyed by his sudden change. Hell, even Eddie didn’t know what was happening to him. He had barely known you two days and suddenly he’s shifting everything in his life to make room for you?

He thinks about this as he trails through the halls, aware that the clock was ticking. Eddie was meant to be in the woods by now, meeting another client. If he wasn’t so broke, Eddie would have ditched the deal and headed straight home instead.

Once he made it to the parking lot, he spots his van and fishes the keys out from his back pocket. His eye catches something not so far from him.

You’re crouched with Jonathan Byers, picking up small pieces from the ground. Eddie rears closer, overhearing conversation.

“You didn’t have to do that. Stick up for me?”

“Well, they didn’t have to do that.”

“Y/n is quite the hero type.” Eddie interrupts, smiling. It falters immediately when he sees the tangled patch of hair on the back of your head, a shattered camera laying at your feet. His eyes flicker between you and Byers. “What happened?”

“Harrington happened.” You explain, standing up and brushing at your tatted hair.

Eddie’s face twists. “Ugh. I hate that guy.”

“You do?” There’s a surprise in your voice, a hint of a smirk on your lips.

Eddie shoves his hands into his pockets. “Yeah. All that hair? Nothing but ego and asshole-ry.”

“Agreed.” Jonathan spoke up, the remains of his camera now in his bag and his attention shifts to you, a soft look on his face. Eddie feels that familiar twist in his stomach. “I’m gonna head home, thanks, Y/n. Do you need a ride?”

“Yeah, actually, can you drop me off just outside the route to the power lines? I’d go straight to the Wheelers but I figure Nancy’s heading there with Steve…” Your voice trailed off and Jonathan chuckles, nodding.

“Uh, bye.” He says to Eddie and he almost misses it, too transfixed on trying to assess the situation.

He hadn’t really realised until now how much time you and Jonathan spend together. Maybe because he wasn’t looking for it before. But the way you both so easily conversed, looking at eachother like it’s been years of bonding. The twist in his stomach grew tighter and tighter until he thought he was gonna throw up. How could he be so stupid?

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Eddie.” You smile at him, snapping his attention back and giving a small wave.

“Yeah.” He manages to reply, backing away until he was walking back to his van, barely acknowledging his other Hellfire members stood there. They were probably wanting to know the deal behind cancelling their campaign tomorrow.

It made sense that you already found someone; you were everything any guy could want.

Chapter 4: No Use Pretending ->

taglist: @cherrymedicine13 . @nix-rose-q .

#stranger things x reader #stranger things #fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #stranger things reader insert #raining hellfire #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #st1 #stranger things 1 #st4 #the party #hellfire club

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oldcoyote · 4 months

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thetimesinbetween replied to your post:

(1) please feel free to utterly disregard any/all of this!

(2) i saw this and my heart & soul squeezed because that fucking SUCKS, that breaks my heart, and i want to. like. stuff you in a burlap sack and throw you over my shoulder and take off running. GET OLDCOYOTE OUTTA THERE <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

(3) your brain might be straight-up, like, panicking/sabotaging your happiness in hopes of re-establishing whatever emotional state it has decided is safe. (the vibe: “oh, you’re feeling HAPPY? don’t you know it’s NOT SAFE to be happy? if you’re HAPPY, what NEXT? if you’re HAPPY, then you’re CAPABLE, you’ll have to DO [SOME SCARY THING]. AND you’ll have to do [WHATEVER] and in order to do [THAT THING], you’ll have to BE VULNERABLE.” and so on and so on.)

(4) to be clear, i could absolutely be wrong about this!!! it’s your brain!!! *my* brain loves to do this shit and in my opinion IT IS THE FUCKING WORST.

(5) ok i am currently in a DBT skills group. (this is where me and like 8 other people who are also Severely Struggling and #mentallyill all get together and learn from our 2 intrepid and deeply gay instructors how the fuck to cope, in practical ways, with being alive. and perhaps even. like. build lives we enjoy.) anyway, so, in this group, i learned about a (frankly sort of mindblowing) mechanism called “opposite action.” which is basically a way to decrease the intensity of an emotion.

important caveat: opposite action only really works when (a) you yourself WANT to decrease the intensity of the emotion in the first place, (b) the emotion in question isn’t, like, totally aligned with reality in the first place OR, even if it is aligned with reality, acting on it still wouldn’t help you. (like, imagine this sort of thing: ’ugh it totally makes sense that i feel this way, and it totally makes sense that feeling this way makes me want to do X, but doing X is really REALLY not gonna help me right now, fuuuUUUUUCK.’)

wow. i am not an expert. this is hard to explain. i looked for youtube videos on this for like. half an hour minimum. and they all sucked. YIKES. ✌️sdfsas;kjsasdfs. so, if you are fascinated and/or this seems useful, here is a uhhh fuckin pdf full of charts and bulleted lists: static1.squarespace.com…

if you start on p. 251 of the PDF (“Overview: Changing Emotional Responses”), that should actually properly explain what i’m talking about. I wish I could beam knowledge that I have directly into your brain bc opposite action is very cool actually, and i have done it multiple times and found it helpful, but i am literally linking you to a textbook rn i am so sorry lmao. again please feel free to ignore this :’) <3 <3

(6) in conclusion, absolutely fuck anything sabotaging your joy. you were HAPPY!!! you LOVED doing this thing!!! i want to be like, “i bet you are not stupid actually and also i remember liking your writing, way back when, and i bet it is not bad so THERE,” but like. that doesn’t even matter!!! you could write and then never reread it and never share it, and if it made you enjoy being alive, that’s already Everything.

loving something you are doing while you are doing it…that’s the juicy fucking meat of life!!!!! i am glad you had that & i hope you will have it again & i trust that you will. and just generally i’m rooting for you <3 okay goodnight <3 /end

bless you for all of this, and for the link, i will absolutely check it out and see if it works for me! it sounds SUPER useful and god might be exactly what i need because these emotions are Not Serving Me at all and i want them taken out and shot fjkdls i just want to feel like i used to feel about all this but i don't think that will come until i can write, and publish, and have people read it and be like This Is Not Awful Actually but in order to get there i have to be brave enough to put it out there and I am NOT right now i am a snivelling mess

anything that can help me get out of the snivelling mess stage is more than welcome <3 and beyond that, just, thank you so much for taking the time to say all this it made my day and makes me feel so much better already

#thetimesinbetween #replies

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lifblogs · 2 months

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6, 9, 17, 21 for the fic writer asks :)

Hell yeah, let's do this!

6. The word that appears the most in your current draft.

The most used is "CX," which isn't exactly a word, so the one after that is "Hemlock." Used 53 times (wow, that's a lot, I didn't even realize that), and it takes up 4% of the chapter.

9. Start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?

My last chapter I posted probably took around 2-3 hours. It's almost 5000 words, and, you know, the editing process. The story itself so far might be 6-8 hours? I have time blindness rn, so it's a bit difficult to tell.

17. Talk about your writing and editing process.

I will say my writing process is a bit different from what it was. Right now with my brain injury I'm not supposed to force out any writing, and have to do what my brain is interested in. Somehow it wanted to write 3 chapters in order for a fanfic. I guess I sit down and tend to get the writing out in one to two sittings. It doesn't take me that long when my brain wants to do it. Next comes the editing, which once took me 2 hours on one one-shot. I used to barely need editing, but I have memory problems and aphasia right now, so... My first thing I do there is change the font to comic sans to make it easier to read, and then I change the font to 14. Any mistakes will be much more obvious that way. I go through and fix all the words I messed up on because of the aphasia, and also add in chunks of the chapter that I forgot I had wanted to add in, or add important details I hadn't remembered while writing. Once everything seems good (I actually had to read one chapter out loud to myself to make sure it sounded good), I can post!

21. When did you publish your most recent fic?

The latest chapter was April 2nd, and I started writing on March 8th.

#ask #angst-is-love-angst-is-life #ask game

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 1 year

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So Bethy is back with us again now that school is over, and she's going crazy with nothing to do, so she keeps leaving to go on walks or whatever, and she wanted to go to Dollar Tree to get stuff for food for the next few days. We have a whole $30 left in the PayPal and mom gave her a small list that would get us enough food for 3 days if we're careful, and just as she was about to checkout(she had mom on-call) Dave demands ice cream.

And now he's being passive-aggressive acting like he's oppressed or something cuz I called out the fact that we have no money just to waste on ice cream. Cuz 1.) he won't be sharing that with the rest of us, and 2.) he's been lying to the food bank for weeks to get extra snacks that he hoards for himself.

Dave has dozens of bags of chips, choco chip granola bars, mini rice krispy treats, and chocolate donuts he stole from all our food bank bags. He rifles through the bags in the van before he distributes them to everyone. He has several Walmart bags beside the chair he sits in, that are just filled with junk that he then hides under a blanket.

He does not need more junk, nor does he need ice cream. Chips, donuts, and rice krispies ain't enough?

1.) the majority of the PayPal money comes from my Ko-Fi. I have a say in what it is spent on as a result. 2.) he was the one who claimed, "I need $20 for gas to keep it above half!" and then went behind our backs and used $70 instead. The reason we have so little left rn is because of him specifically, especially when he admits that he was going to put in $90 but decided to stick to $70. So, since he decided that he had to fill the tank all the way, he doesn't get ice cream. Too bad. Regular food is more important.

But he's acting like some oppressed maiden now.

EDIT: I made this post on June 11th but left it in my drafts because I wasn't going to post it, however it is now June 12th and I have more to add.

So, Bethy's school has driving instructors and the teens have to take and pass the class or they can't go and get their permits. Her teacher, a dumbass who can't do basic math apparently, mis-scheduled several kids so they all have to come to school, despite school being over now, to take the rest of their classes. And these are one-on-one courses that take hours of driving to locations hours away from the school. The kids aren't getting fed despite how they had to arrive at school time and won't leave until after noon.

Bethy has to do this June 12-14 and then has nowhere to go as she waits around because there is no arranged transportation either.

This morning, Dave was complaining about having to drive her to school personally, which pissed her off since he acts like being a parent is unfair.

Remember I said he was lying to the food bank to get more food? He was saying Bethy was with us this entire time and that's why he needed more, for a growing teen girl. So, she's back with us now... and his ass didn't give her the share meant for her. He didn't just steal all the snacks added to the baggies, he literally kept the extra dinner that was meant for Bethy, for himself. And yeah, it was a small turkey sandwich but it's more than nothing!

So today, as he has to get up early and go to work, he gets up at 5 AM and is gone by 6 AM. He put together a large bag for himself full of leftovers from yesterday(pasta and a sandwich), 3 bags of chips, several granola bars, rice krispy treats, water, slim jims, and some kind of cake thing.

And he couldn't spare one damn thing for his child. To make it worse... he has cash on hand and didn't think to give her any despite knowing she wouldn't be having breakfast or lunch. He woke her up a few minutes before they had to leave, so she did not get to eat or even prepare leftover pasta for herself.

She arrived at school at 6:30 AM and they wouldn't let her in, so she had to sit there until 8 AM. THEN, she had to do the whole driving course thing, which last 3 hours for her, and then wait for her partner who finished. Dave picked her up around 1 PM, and then forced her to sit in his boss' truck for 5 hours and didn't think to get her any food or give her his own food.

So they go to the food bank before coming back, and Bethy is exhausted and hungry and hot, but she wants to go and see if she can apply for a job at a nearby pizza place since she worked at their other location last year. Dave hands her $20 and tells her to go to Dollar Tree and get him Pepsi and ice cream while giving me a nasty look.

...I'm such an unfair person, huh? How dare I think to preserve what little money we have?

Anyway, I've gone around pulling everything we have together and it mostly is canned mixed veggies, off-brand unsweetened apple sauce, and what I have left in terms of granola bars.

But you know, we should be spending money on ice cream and soda instead of meals.

#poverty #homelessness #we have to settle for spaghetti and rice with gross meatballs

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