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thebiggestmenace · 9 months

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What were thoughts on the show? Was there anything that you didn’t like about it? Were there things you liked more than the game?

I didn’t like the car crash in episode 4. It felt very low budget compared to the game. I was also sad they didn’t do the drowning scene in the finale. That was my all time favorite scene from the game

I have to say I'm very biased to the show as it was my first introduction to the franchise (and I watched it all in one go, which made a brain goblin move in)!

I personally love the show and how both Pedro and Bella portray Joel and Ellie. I love how they changed and added some things, too. I liked the car crash in the show? I don't know why, but I did. I think it was the aftermath of it? when Joel was telling Ellie to go to the hole in the wall, because they're not gonna hit you. it's just such good soup to me 🤌💋

after having watched a gameplay, I was a little disappointed they didn't show Ellie getting the gun how she did in the game? cause she saved Joel after his near drowning, and then he taught her how to use a gun, even if she sort of already knew. but I do love how they showed it in the show, too! the fact that it was Frank's gun, so an older gay giving a baby gay a gun. a way to protect herself. it's so poetic :) and then when Joel asked her if that was the first time she shot someone? I really do love both adaptations. and I get why they wouldn't do it the way they did it in the show, so that it wasn't a risk to the actors, you know?

I wasn't disappointed about Ellie’s drowning not making it in the show, tbh. it adds another level of grief? for what's about to come, and we would've missed her puns and Joel throwing himself behind her to protect her as best he could. I think the show handled the finale better, too, simply because you're not playing Joel? in the game, you have to kill all the fireflies. you can't progress the story if you don't. so you don't see anything wrong? idk how to explain this properly, but you have to kill everyone or else you die along with Ellie. in the show, though, you're not playing Joel. you get to watch it from someone else's perspective and realize that he also didn't have a choice. and the show made it more. sad and grief filled. if that makes any sense. so I think adding her drowning would've made it hurt that much more, you know? it also would've put the actors at risk, so I totally get why they didn't include it

I love how they added more to the show, too! like, getting the flashback from 1968, where the scientist explains that fungal infections have no cure, right off the bat? it's such 👨‍🍳🤌💋 to me. and then getting to watch Sarah in the beginning, so we feel closer to her? beautifully devastating. getting to see Ellie at the beginning, too? before she met Joel and Tess? I really enjoyed that. it also showed us a bit of how Marlene was as a person (the oh, really? was Riley a terrorist? I feel showed who she was. she wasn't in it for Ellie, or even Anna, she was in it for herself) which I feel was important. the entirety of episode 3? also beautifully devastating. the letter had the same effect that the conversation with Bill did (in the game), it just felt more positive? like, Bill was mad in the game, so that conversation felt a bit negative. the show, while literally being after their deaths, felt positive? I don't know why, it just did. and making Sam deaf? I think was really important, cause it showed that Sam still wanted to protect Ellie as best he could. he wouldn't have been able to hear her once she woke up, so he sat facing away from her to protect her. and the fact she tried to heal him, because she knew beforehand? I think really set up the finale. yes, vaccines need more than just blood, but taking that with the 1968 flashback? I think just reiterates that you can't make a cure for a fungal infection. also loved the differences in episode 6, when they found Jackson. well, when Jackson found them lmao I love how they portrayed it all? how we actually got to see Jackson this time, and we knew that the dam was fixed. the fact that Maria's pregnant? I'm hoping they change Tommy a bit because of that (don't like game Tommy because of what he did at the end of the second game). also that could help to heal Joel a little from losing Sarah. that might just be me being delusional because of fics, though. but also Joel getting stabbed instead of falling off a balcony? I don't know why, but that felt more fitting to the show? and I liked that they showed Ellie stitching him up (did miss the don't worry, I've done this before from her, though) along with him being conscious enough to try to shove her away to go back to Jackson. loved the entirety of episode 7, too! I really, really love how the mall was Ellie’s first time being there, so Riley was taking her on an adventure. and that the photo booth actually gave them the picture strip! I just love the seventh episode, man. I don't enjoy episode 8, simply because of what it's about? but I like the little changes they did for Joel yelling what town and Ellie yelling that she's the little girl who broke your fucking finger. truly felt like those came from deep within, you know? also the fact they added in that David's people were hunting?? disgusting, but it's the little details. I love how they opened episode 9 with Ellie being born. and I love how it was Ashley Johnson, that definitely did NOT get any tears out of me once I finished watching gameplays. definitely not. I loved the giraffe scene, too! you got to see Joel’s reaction to it!!! proud dad! although I think that smile was more Pedro and Bella, but it was still so so sweet and it's so important to me :] I loved the conversation they had on that traffic blocker (wtf is that actually called??), about how it wasn't time that did it. I think it also drove home what the ending was gonna be. I already talked about the hospital, but I do enjoy that they weren't underwater for that. it's the fact that Joel tried his damndest to protect Ellie as best he could when that bomb went off. he twisted around her, so that he'd take the brunt of it. I think the ending after that stayed mostly true to the game, so there are my thoughts :)

oh, I loved the mirroring they did, too! I think Craig? maybe Neil. someone said they mirrored scenes so you knew it was an adaptation, and that it would be a little bit different than the original. Joel holding his girls different ways in the show vs the game?? 🤌💋 Ellie and Joel in his apartment being mirrored??? 🤌💋 the what town scene also being mirrored??? and then what town being added??? 🤌💋 I believe there are more mirroring scenes, but these are what I remember. I just love the little details, man

sorry this was so long, anon, I just love the show so much. it's what introduced me to the last of us. after I finished it (in one sitting, by the way, because I didn't want to forget what happened between weeks/episodes), I found a gameplay of the first game and watched that. then we did the same with the dlc. I wanted to avoid the second game, as I loved going into the show blind, but alas, I saw too many spoilers :( no one tagged stuff, so I figured I should watch the gameplay before the whole game is spoiled for me. it was devastating and I live in constant fear for how they're gonna adapt it. not because it'll be bad, just because Pedro and Bella are such good actors that I KNOW it's gonna devast each and every single one of us. the yell/scream from Ellie at the end of episode 5 still lives in my head, much against my will, so I'm very worried about the ones we'll be getting in season 2 (or more? cause Craig said something about 4 seasons?)

#i hope this answers the question!#i think it did? just very much so lmao #sorry about that anon #i just love the show so much #part of me does wish that they kept the drowning scenes in but i get why they didnt #i was talking to my friend about it and i guess the actors in titantic ended up getting pneumonia from all the water scenes #so i totally get why they didnt keep them in #also the mirroring????#truly chefs kiss #it means so much to me #i shall stop rambling now #the last of us #rambling menace #tlou2 #menace answers #cw mention of david #cw death

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savethepinecones · 4 years

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I really wish I could just get a job I like rather than having to jump on the first offer I get because I need an income

#got a job offer today and im trying to decide if i should take it #on the one hand i havent had a job since i moved and my returned deposit from my last place can only last so long #but on the other hand this wasnt my preferred job i just applied bc ive been applying for pretty much everything #but i dont have a guarantee that ill be able to get a different job quickly so like i should probably take it #and i really hate job hunting #id prefer to do reception or something but i dont have any experience with that so im not getting any responses to my applications #its all call centers and homecare cuz thats what ive done before #but its not what i /want/ to do #am i gonna end up doing housekeeping at a healthcare facility in the middle of a pandemic? probably #at least its by a walmart so i can go shopping on my way home from work easily #tbh i almost didnt do the interview #i felt like absolute shit this morning and snoozed my alarm for three hours #and had mostly convinced myself that it was fine cuz i dont especially want to do housekeeping anyways #and then they decided to do a phone interview instead of an in person one #so 20 minutes before my scheduled time they called me and i figured hey im not even out of bed yet but i guess ill answer #tbh i thought they were gonna tell me the position had been filled already and not to bother coming in #but instead i did the whole interview right then #and i got a job offer #they said theyd call me back on thursday so i can think it over #so ive got two days to decide if i wanna take it or wait for something better #ahhhh adulting is hard

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seita · 3 years

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— types of doms.

kuroo, kenma, yaku, bokuto, akaashi, + konoha.

+ details what type of doms they are!

— kuroo tetsurou.

› hard dom and a little mean

› he looooooves punishments so the bigger brat you are the more fun it is for him

› not for you tho bc he will make you cry your little heart out

› call him daddy, sir, or master!!

› you’re his babygirl when you behave but you’re his stupid little pet when you’re bad ):

› very into degredation and dacryphilia

› thinks you’re prettiest when you’re crying about how his cock is too big and how it hurts <3

“you wanted to act like a little brat but you don’t want to take your punishment?” he clicked his tongue, shaking his head, “that won’t do at all, kitten. you know better than to disappoint me.”

he grinned when the last words immediately made you cry, “i-i’m sorry, sir! i’ll do better! please punish me!”

the sound of you begging for him to punish you made his cock twitch in his pants. you would have drooled at the sight had you not been forced to your knees. they hit the hard floor with a thunk and it made you wince.

he made a mental note to make sure you were okay afterwards.

but for now, he pulled his cock free, “i’m going to fuck your throat and if you even think about pulling away, you won’t cum for a month.”

— kozume kenma.

› lazy dom

› he’s not strict nor does he care for punishments

› you can call him whatever you want but he likes how his nickname comes off your tongue when you’re cumming

› kind of mean bc he likes to watch you struggle to ride him

› he’s into neglect; he likes to ignore you and watch you cry for his attention

his eyes were glued to his phone, scrolling through twitter. even the pretty sounds of your whimpers wouldn’t draw his attention away.

you rocked your hips against his, his cock throbbing inside you as your cunt clenched around him from the stimulation of your clit. as you were whimpering and crying about how good his cock felt, his breathing wasn’t even fast.

he appeared completely unaffected.

it made a sob rip through your chest. you wanted his attention so bad, you wanted to see that your tight little cunt felt good.

with renewed vigor, you began to bounce, using his knees behind you as balance to easily lift and drop yourself down his length.

“ken!” you sobbed when he didn’t even twitch.

the sound of his nickname from your lips made him look up at you finally. tears were making tracks down your cheeks and it made him throb inside you again, “a-am i doin’ good?” you asked, seeking his praise.

his gaze softened for a second before he suddenly looked back at his phone, fighting a smirk when you sobbed again, “go faster and then we’ll see.”

— yaku morisuke.

› hard dom!

› likes to be called sir

› expects you to be a good little service sub and do everything in your power to pleasure him

› makes you worship his cock and balls daily <3

› his punishments are so mean ):

› he’ll ignore you and humiliate you until you’re crying in his lap and begging him to forgive you

› and the best way to do that is to take his cock down your throat like a good little girl <3

“i thought you said you could take it, princess?” the name sounded derogatory, condescending and made your skin crawl. you knew he was disappointed; you’d promised you could take him all the way down your throat and you kept choking and pulling away, leaving his cock to throb at nothing.

precum drooled from the tip to the floor, making him glare at you.

“are you stupid? hm?” he snaps, “see, this is why i think i need a new little pet to fuck. since you can’t seem to appreciate my cock properly.”

his words make your eyes widen frantically, shaking your head, “n-no sir! please, i can do it, i really can! l-love your cock so much...’s just too big...”

he hums, fisting your hair once more, “you can take it, if you really wanna show me that you’re my good girl...you’ll take my fucking cock down your throat.”

— bokuto koutarou.

› service dom from hell.

› literally will do anything and everything to please you

› call him daddy <3

› he’ll call you puppy <3

› doesn’t rlly do punishments

› his form of punishment is fucking you until you’re completely dumb on his cock and sobbing for him not to make you cum anymore

› will overstimulate himself because of how desperately he wants to fuck you

“puppy’s cunt is so wet,” he pants, burying his face in your neck, “creamin’ so much around me. you’re daddy’s good girl, yeah?”

“yes, daddy! lo-love your cock s’much!” you whine, nails biting in his biceps.

he doesn’t even notice, too absorbed in the lewd sound of your wet little pussy taking his fat cock. he’d already milked orgasm after orgasm from you and you could barely tell up from down at this point.

“i’m gonna cum, puppy,” he whines, “can daddy cum in your little cunt? please, puppy?”

“yes!” you squeal, “please, want your cum so bad, daddy, please-”

“alright, pup,” his voice grows tighter as he slams his hips against yours, mouth opening in a loud throaty moan as he cums, filling your sensitive cunt right up.

he doesn’t stop, however, even after his cum is fucked out of you. even when he starts tearing up from how sensitive his cock was as he continued to fuck you, intent on filling you up until his balls simply couldn’t anymore.

— akaashi keiji.

› soft dom <3

› doesn’t care what you call him, whatever you want works <3

› he’s a bit of tease

› likes to edge, deny, and ruin your orgasms

› because he likes to hear the way you cry for him to make you feel good

› knowing you could reach down to rub your clit but you want him to do it makes his cock hard

› uses very soft petnames for you like honey and pretty baby <3

“ah, you got tighter,” he mutters, mostly to himself, rocking his hips slowly against yours, “are you about to cum?”

your mouth falls open and you nod, tearily staring up at him in a silent plea for him not to pull away.

but he does. and you sob, kicking your legs as your body twitches sporadically.

“shh...” he soothes, offering a sweet kiss to your forehead, pushing his cock back into your tender little cunt, “you’re doing so good, just a little more and i’ll make you cum nice and hard...”

“p-please, keiji, it hurts!” you sob, clinging to him as you cry, “w-wanna cum on your cock so bad, please!”

he smiles, “you can take a little more,” he assures, letting you pull his chest flush against yours so you can cry against his neck, “you’re such a good girl, letting me edge you like this. you know it’ll be worth it.”

you really do but that doesn’t mean the build up isn’t hell on earth.

— konoha akinori.

› he can either be the meanest dom imaginable or the softest service dom for you

› another one who doesn’t have a name preference but he likes when you call him sir when he’s being mean and daddy when hes soft <3

› will call you bunny or little one <3

› sort of a sadist tbh

› into physical punishments like spanking

› will also slap you bc he thinks you’re so pretty when you stare at him with watery, startled eyes

› but he also loves when you cling to him and tremble in his arms when he makes you cum <3

“daddy...” you pant, eyes rolling back as his cock reaches that sweet little spot deep inside you, “feels good...”

“i know, little one,” he grins, “i can feel you squeezing me...you’re gonna cum soon, aren’t you?”

you nod and open your mouth to say something but you cut yourself off with a little squeal when he suddenly folds you up into a mating press.

“yeah, there we go...” he pants, “you’ll cream nice and hard for me in this position won’t you?”

when you don’t answer for a second, he reaches down and slaps you across the cheek. it makes you sob and your cunt clench down even tighter. suddenly, you begin trembling and your eyes roll back, making him moan.

“fuck, you’re cummin’ now, huh? all cause i slapped you?“

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq x reader #hq smut #kuroo x reader #kuroo smut #ken me x reader #kenma smut #yaku x reader #yaku smut #bokuto x reader #bokuto smut #akaashi x reader #akaashi smut #konoha x reader #konoha smut #afton.headcanons

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euphoricsunflowers · 3 years

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calling you daddy — monsta x

scenario: they ask about your kinks and you ask them to call you daddy

a/n: this is written with a fem reader in mind but is not strictly fem reader as no pronouns or anything is mentioned.

a/n: was this a request? nope tbh this was written for myself bc i’m sick and tired of seeing people call these men daddy so uh pls enjoy

word count: 2k

content: sub!monsta x, dom!reader, daddy kink obviously ajshdhs, minhyuk is kinda bratty? kinda??, lots of teasing and begging, mentions of consent and stuff

—

son hyunwoo/shownu:

he falls silent. he doesn’t know what to say in the slightest. he worries that he might hurt your feelings or say something out of line, but it just stuns him, “you don’t have to do it if you’re uncomfortable with that, bear. your consent is just as important,” you say.

but see that’s half of what’s stunning him. he’s not exactly uncomfortable with that. shownu’s nature is pleasing you, he doesn’t mind filling any role or position for you, this was just a little more intense than that.

“you know what? just forget we had this conversation. i don’t want you to feel pressured, and it’s not a big deal, okay?” you say.

but the idea lingers in his head whether or not you want it to. as the days go by, his mind wanders, and while it may not exactly be what he’d be into, he’s not against doing it for you.

as you manhandle him a little bit, he says it softly, “ah, daddy-,” it’s even more embarrassing than he imagined, and his cheeks and ears are flushed and hot, but when he says it, softly under his breath, just whispering it out to test the waters, he sees your shock and then your small little smirk.

“now that i know what it sounds like to hear you say that, and what that does to me,” you say, sneaking your hands under his shirt and letting them wander, playing with his chest a bit, “i don’t think it’s a good idea to say that if you wanna make it out of this bedroom spotless and in one piece.”

he blushes even more, a little shy and hesitant, but he likes having this kind of effect on you, so that may not be the last time he says it. besides, who says he cares if he makes it out in one piece? and spotless? his neck and chest and thighs were too clean anyway.

lee hoseok/wonho:

it was in the middle of you riding him, his wrists bound above his head with a rope that made his skin look so pretty against it. he’s already cum once, but you’re not stopping until you do, and he’s trying to keep himself together. your hands roughly playing with his chest is overstimulating and he’s overwhelmed. he pleads for mercy aimlessly, almost thoughtlessly.

but then, “if you’re gonna beg, call me daddy,” you murmur. he’s not even sure he hears you right when you say it. he looks at you with wide eyes, and he assumed he did because of the way you act. he knows he could stop you at any time because you’re very clear on consent and it’s not like this was completely out of left field considering how you’re already always in charge in the bedroom. he was just stunned.

and while he’s a little bit stunned, he also won’t deny that it is a little bit hot.

so he does, “please, daddy, it’s so much- i- i can’t handle it.”

he sees your smile, with just a drop of sadism behind the curl of your lip, “just a little more, baby, i’m close. you make daddy feel so good,” he gets so excited by the praise that he attempts to stick it out, forever still the man that just wants to make you happy and please you.

he forgets about himself and his own body for a moment when he feels your body tense up around him and you hold onto his chest as you orgasm, using him to get the most out of it before you slow down to a halt.

your heavy breathes and sweet nothings whispered in his ear are heavenly.

lee minhyuk:

“really? you’re into that? i honestly thought it would be the other way around.”

taken aback, you ask, “really? what gave you that impression?”

“idk, you don’t have this aura of dominance, so i didn’t really assume that was your thing.”

“is that- is that okay with you?”

he gets closer, teasing in the way he wants to make you shy, “you seem pretty bashful for someone who just asked to be called daddy in the bedroom.”

“minhyuk-,”

he rolls his eyes, obviously trying to get a rise out of you, “come on, i don’t even know if you have it in you.”

and something about his careless, taunting tone sets something off inside you, like he was challenging you. but it’s a challenge you take on when you approach him. your touch is softer, lighter than he imagined. he thought you would be lit aflame with a need to prove yourself to him. but you lean in to press a kiss on his neck and your wandering hands settle on his hips.

you’re gentle with him initially, yet he melts a little bit when one hand tightens and another begins to unbutton his shirt, giving your mouth access to his chest.

you push him onto the couch, straddling him and using a hand to hold both of his arms above his head, when you pull back, he looks dazed and needy, all those teasing smirks having faded off his features, “why are you so affected? i thought i didn’t even have it in me,” you say with a smirk this time.

he breathes heavily, “y/n- please-”

“oh please, that’s not my name anymore, min.”

yoo kihyun:

“you want me to what?!” his voice is randomly high pitched, loud, almost like he’s nervous or scared.

despite that anxious feeling you’re feeling too, you try to stay calm, “i understand if you’re uncomfortable by it, but you asked about my kinks, kihyun.”

“yeah i know- i just- i wasn’t expecting that- really? you’re not messing with me? that’s really what you want?” he looks exasperated.

“yes. i really want you to call me daddy.”

he goes silent, trying to comprehend in his head what the hell was going on and what he was going to do and why the more he thinks about it, the less vehemently against it he becomes. and he had spent the entire relationship making it clear that he cared about what you wanted (because he does) and it’s not like… he hates the idea of it, but it’s just so out there to him that he can’t even fathom or imagine it.

he asks for a few days just to think about it, and though the awkwardness lingers in the air, by the fourth day, it seems like you had mostly forgotten about it or at least it didn’t seem to be on your mind. he spends those days really thinking, trying to imagine what it would be like, why you would even want that.

but the next time you’re together alone, your hands and lips are on him and he experimentally says it, “daddy, please.”

the whiny, begging voice, coupled with the word, leave you stunned. you pull back with wide eyes, and he felt so embarrassed and shameful with your eyes on him like that, but then you pulled him back into you and kissed him with a certain kind of feverish desperation that made his knees weak.

chae hyungwon:

his reaction is oddly pretty calm. he asked about what you were into, and you told him. maybe he was expect something a little different, but to be honest, he knew you liked to be in control, and he usually just went along with it. he didn’t mind it especially because you always made sure you both felt good and that was all that matters. that and he kinda likes being told what to do.

so it doesn’t exactly surprise him, especially when you add, “but only in a sexual context! i don’t need you to say it all the time.”

“good because there’s no way in hell i’m calling you daddy in front of my friends,” he can see the thoughts behind your eyes wanting to take up that challenge, but he decides to ignore it, “as far as they’re concerned, i’m daddy.”

“sure, wonnie. sure,” you say dismissively, before looking back at him, “are you actually okay with it though? i know it’s… weird.”

“it wasn’t what i was expecting, but if that’s what you want, then i’ll do it.”

and as soon as you’ve got him under you, with kisses and marks trailing down his neck and chest, leaving him helplessly turned on and horny, he says it so naturally, you wonder if he even thought to do it. but whether or not he’s doing this solely for you, or because he might have found it a little hot, is between him and himself, “ahh, daddy, please- be gentle with me- i have a photoshoot in the morning- oh my god that feels so good please daddy don’t stop-”

lee jooheon:

he likes the idea of it when you mention it, he just gets kinda shy, “do you- do you really want me to call you that?”

you come closer, holding his hand and rubbing your thumb against it in a comforting manner, “yeah, i really like the idea of it. if you’re not completely against it, i’d be really happy if we could try it.”

“it’s not… the worst thing you could have told me you were into,” he laughs as your hand starts to massage his thigh instead, “we can try it. i'll tell you if we need to stop, but i think it’ll be okay.”

“good, i’m glad you’re reacting this way, honey,” you murmur as you kiss him, and he smiles, which, even if it makes the kiss a little awkward, is really cute, “sweetheart,” you whisper as you pull away, “can you say it? i just wanna hear you say it.”

your hands wander his skin nervously, he can tell you’re worried about him being uncomfortable, “ahh, d-daddy, please touch me more,” he whines, and he’s never been more compelling before, but somehow the use of that word really makes you want to give in and give him anything he wants, “please touch me.”

your hand falls a little lower upon his request, and he groans lightly, pulling you a little closer, “you’re perfect, baby, so pretty.”

“ahh, please,” he huffs, clearly growing shy with the praise, but it’s obvious he really likes it, so you touch him more and whisper sweet words into his ear with a kiss, “oh- oh my- daddy- please i-”

“you’re so cute, sweetie pie, especially when you’re feeling good, you look so pretty and content. it’s my favorite sight,” you say adoringly, looking at him with the biggest heart eyes.

“wow, i didn’t expect to like this this much but-“ he whispers, “-i kinda love it.”

im changkyun/i.m:

he doesn’t react much when you say it, making you wonder if he was uncomfortable or not into it, but in any case, you assume it’s going to be forgotten in a few days and there would be nothing to worry about.

until he’s trying to get you to play with him and you’re trying to work. he can’t deny that he gets horny easily and you’re right there! he tries to tease in an way he can think possible, but to no avail. you’re still just sitting there, typing away on your laptop.

“just another thirty minutes, and then im all yours, baby,” you murmur to him, and he pouts subconsciously out of frustration.

he gets an idea, and i’m sure you know what it is.

“alright, you’re busy and i respect that. i guess i’ll just leave you be and go play by myself, daddy,” he giggles when you look over at him for the first time in this encounter and then he walks away.

as he sits on the bed in your bedroom, he awaits the sound of your footsteps, knowing he’s won. the door opens, and you walk in too casually, enough to make him suspicious, until he’s pulled onto your lap with your lips on his shoulder. your hands sneak under his hoodie, and his hands brace himself on your shoulders for stability, “ah- y/n-”

“baby, i did not set aside my work that’s due tomorrow morning to come fuck your brains out just for you to call me that,” he shivers, so incredibly turned on, “try again.”

—

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @multidreams-and-desires @hobilluvvr @vanillaknj @yr-domxfantasies @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9 @silencefavarchive @nct99 @bigkpopstan @monstaxdirtywonk @domreaderrecs @mochi-ficz and always feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist <3

#subidolnet #sub idol #sub!idol #sub!kpop #dom reader #dom!reader #monsta x #sub!monsta x #sub monsta x #sub!monsta x smut #monsta x smut #sub!shownu #sub!wonho #sub!minhyuk #sub!kihyun #sub!hyungwon #sub!jooheon #sub!changkyun

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tsumucore · 4 years

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LUCID DREAMS

✎ … Miya Atsumu

word count: 5.2k

warnings: NSFW, pwp, daddy kink, a lot of degradation, spanking, choking, sexting, overstimulation, masturbation, he kinda spits in your mouth, just rough sex overall

All characters are 18+ !!!!

A/N: this is my first nsfw fic, so pls bear with me 🥺 I’m also dedicating this to @starboybokuto and @strawbericream for inspiring me and also bc they’re literally smut icons in the fandom and after writing this, I’m realizing just how hard it it to do and I just wanna appreciate them for all the effort they put in <3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

His moans were like honey, pouring from his sweet lips and into your ears, as his thrusts became erratic. He was close. The sounds of your own pleasure filled the room before he swallowed them up completely with his beautiful mouth. You were close. This space that was inhabited by you two was the only dimension where time didn’t exist. Nothing else mattered in this moment, except for each other. You were so, so, so, so, so clo-

“Wake up!”

Your roommate’s exclamation breaks you out of your lust-filled slumber with a jolt. You groan and silently curse her as details of the dream gradually come back to you; she’d have to make a run for it if she valued her life, or at least avoiding getting smacked in the face by the pillow you throw at her with impressive force.

“Y/N, what did I do? she whines. “You told me to wake you up. I only did what you said!”

“Literally fuck you, I was having a good dream,” you fire back.

“MAN if you don’t… anyway shouldn’t you be in class by now?” Your eyes widen as you fumble for your phone to check the time.

“Shit!” Usually, you wouldn’t have bothered showing up if you were running late, but this class took attendance, and you were already on the cusp between two letter grades. A menial attendance point could be the difference between maintaining your GPA or tarnishing it.

You wash up in record time, throw on some clothes, and shove your necessary belongings in your backpack before slinging it on your back. You don’t even have time to fill up your water bottle; you’d just have to purchase one on campus later. You pop in your earbuds, select a random playlist, and fly out the door.

You don’t stop until you reach the lecture hall. You try not to cringe as you push open the door, slinking your way in the back to find an open seat; luckily, there was one near the door so your humiliation was short-lived. When you finally sit down and situate yourself, you take a deep breath for the first time that morning and collect your thoughts.

As your mind wanders, memories of your erotic dream come back to you. The faintest of color tints your cheeks, and you shift slightly in your seat as you subtly cross your legs. You pull out your phone, preparing to fire a text at lightning speed. You need your boyfriend.

Y/N: i miss you

Atsumu: :))

Y/N: im not trying to gas ur big head up even more than it already is i’m just whore knee

Atsumu: OH????? aren’t you in class rn?

Y/N: i’d rather be choking on your fat cock tbh

Atsumu: naughty girl, why are you saying such things in the middle of class?

Y/N: what are you gonna do about it... choke me? spank me? make me cum over and over and over again?

Atsumu: Watch your mouth, baby...

Y/N: Ok...

Y/N: ...daddy.

Fighting the smile tugging at your lips, you set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and refocus your attention on the professor’s droning voice. By the time lecture was over, you scramble out of the building, eager to make a quick call to your boyfriend so you could describe to him in specific detail everything you wanted him to do to you.

Alas, you heard the voices of your friends calling out to you, so you’re forced to sit through idle chit-chat until your next class starts. Of course, today was also a full day, so you would have to endure the rest of your classes, your position as a TA, and the study session your classmates were pulling together at the library for your next exam - which just so happened to be in two days, meaning you couldn’t opt out. At this rate, you wouldn’t be leaving campus until dark. And it was only 10 in the morning.

While you daydream in your next class, you’re broken out of your reverie by the realization that you had neglected to check your phone after effectively ending the conversation with Atsumu the way that you had. You unlock your phone, seeing that you have just one unread message from him - a photo.

You know what’s coming before you even open it, so you’re careful to ensure that your screen isn’t in anyone’s line of sight - luckily, you were sitting in the back again, so there aren’t any prying eyes over your shoulder. You turn down the brightness and open the conversation before practically salivating on the spot.

You have an idea of what exactly the photo was going to be of, but nothing could prepare you for the effect it had on you.

It’s evident that he had propped up his phone on something and taken the photo on self-timer. Bleached tufts of hair fell over his forehead as he winked back at you through the screen with his lips pursed as if he was going to kiss someone. The only thing he wore was a gold chain around his neck. He was flashing a peace sign with one hand, while the other was wrapped around a good sized erection.

You feel your mouth dry up and your thighs subconsciously squeeze together. The way this photo was triggering a physiological reaction from your body was astounding. You need this man, and you need him now. You whisper to your friend that you had to use the bathroom, that you might be gone for a while - it must have been the iced coffee going straight through you - and to let you know if you missed anything. You try not to trip over anyone’s legs in your haste to get to the restroom.

Since this was a fairly large building, there were multiple restrooms, and so you locate the one you know is always empty and secluded - the one below the main floor. Once you enter, you do a quick check in each stall to make sure you’re alone before locking the door. You go into the biggest stall and commence with your plan of action.

You take off your shirt and bra and neatly hang them on the hooks behind the stall door. The sudden exposure to the chilly air makes you shiver as your nipples harden in response. You then bring your phone up to your chest, so that your face isn't in frame and begin to record yourself lightly massaging your breasts. You make sure to softly moan Atsumu’s name when you pinch your nipple, rolling it between your thumb and index finger. After about thirty seconds, you promptly send the footage to your boyfriend.

He immediately starts facetiming you which causes your thighs to squeeze together expectantly. When you answer the call, you’re greeted with dark, lustful eyes and a shit-eating grin.

“I heard someone missed me today.” His tone is slightly mocking, indicative of something deeper underneath.

“I had a dream about you,” you inform him as you slowly begin to massage your breasts the way you had before.

“Yeah? What happened in your dream?” His eyes darken as he shrewdly observes the way you sigh as your fingers glide over your nipples. God, he wished he could just take them in between his teeth.

You bite your lip in response to his tone becoming increasingly huskier. “I dreamed about you… fucking me.” Your voice falters a bit as you suddenly feel a wave of shyness rush over you. Atsumu often had this effect on you - sure, there was no limit to the amount of things you had done together; however, he was still able to make you feel flustered, as if it was the first time all over again.

“How naughty,” he scoffs. “You love actin’ so innocent, but what would people say if they really knew what was goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours? What would they say if they saw what you were tellin’ me in the middle of class? Do ya know what they would say, dollface?”

You can’t bring yourself to respond, only managing a feeble shaking of your head.

“They would call you a whore. A filthy, depraved slut. And do ya know what sluts get?”

Again, another feeble shake.

“Nothing. Sluts get nothing,” he laughs mockingly as he angles his phone until you have an adequate view of the way he’s been stroking himself this entire time. “And now, dollface, you’re gonna have to watch me get myself off. I want your hands off of yourself entirely... If I catch you touchin’ yourself even once, you get nothing. But if you’re good, I might just play with ya later.”

You whimper at his order, but you have no choice; you had brought this upon yourself by getting him riled up with those texts in the first place. As you swallow thickly, he begins to jerk himself off - slowly at first, torturing you with each stroke as he looks directly through the camera and into your eyes. He then begins to pick up the pace as heavy pants and the occasional moan escapes from his mouth.

“See what ya did to me, baby? This is all because of you.” His breathing grows erratic as he edges closer and closer to his release. “And now look at you. Watchin’ a man jerk off in a public restroom, with your tits out, when you’re supposed to be in class like a good girl. Now tell me, does that sound like a good girl?”

You merely whimper in response.

“Answer me,” he practically growls. “Does. That. Sound. Like. A. Good. Girl.”

“No,” you whisper as you feel a surge of arousal rush to your core. You knew your panties would be suffering thoroughly by the time you returned to class.

“Then tell me, dollface. What. Are. You.” Each enunciation is emphasized with a hard stroke to his cock - the same way he would be thrusting into you. It takes absolutely everything in you not to sneak your hand down to your throbbing clit; he’d know if you did, he always did. The prospect of not being touched by him later was unthinkable, so you continue to helplessly watch him fuck his own hand.

“I’m a filthy whore, your filthy whore,” you whine in compliance as you watch him thrust into his hand a few more times before letting out a long, drawn out moan and spilling his release all over himself. You can’t help the moan that escapes your own lips as you take in the sight of his flushed face and heavy rising and falling of his chest.

“You actually listened to me for once? This is a surprise,” he chuckles once he recovers from his orgasm. “Hurry up and come over… I’ll fuck ya ‘til you can’t even remember your own name.”

•.｡.༺✩༻.｡.•

For the rest of the day, you hoped you were doing a relatively adequate job of hiding your arousal as you went about your responsibilities. You were literally counting down the seconds until you were finished with everything so you could meet up with Atsumu and let him fuck you like he promised. At one point, you caught yourself almost drooling during your group study session at the library. You took this as your cue to leave, so you politely excused yourself by letting the others know that it was time for you to leave as you had to get up early the next morning.

After what felt like the longest and, thanks to Atsumu, the most torturous day ever, you felt completely ravenous. From the second you had woken up, you had been straight up horny, and the fact that you hadn't been able to take care of it was driving you insane. You had been rushed all day, never having a moment to yourself, and when you did, Atsumu had specifically instructed you not to satisfy yourself the way you needed to be satisfied. It was unfair.

To make matters worse, you missed the train that would take you to Atsumu’s apartment as he lived quite a while away from your campus. The next train would be leaving in an hour, which was just too much for you at this point. Delay after delay. You grit your teeth in frustration as you weigh your options: you could wait another painstaking hour for the train that would inevitably take you to your dick appointment or you could spend a fortune by calling for a taxi and getting there right now. While you mentally calculate your finances, your clit throbs just slightly when you cross your legs, which causes you to throw all thoughts of being a penniless college student out the window in favor of getting fucked mercilessly as soon as possible.

•.｡.༺✩༻.｡.•

Of course the elevator in Atsumu’s apartment building was currently out of order at that moment, leaving you with no other choice but to climb the seven flights of stairs to his apartment. At this point, you feel like you’re running on some sort of primal instinct as you sprint up the stairs with the vigor possessed by only someone who’s about to be dicked down. By the time you reach his door, you’re already huffing and puffing, but your own exhaustion escapes your mind as you ring his doorbell impatiently. Once the door swings open, you’re greeted with the sight of your boyfriend smirking back at you.

The motherfucker wore nothing but loose gray sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips and the same gold chain around his neck from earlier. You chuck your backpack on the floor and throw yourself onto him, pressing your lips against his (minty?) ones. The kiss is sloppy and intense as you try to make him feel the desperation you had been forced to endure all day long.

Somehow, your clothes find themselves on the ground in a matter of seconds. He lightly slaps at your thigh, a signal for you to jump into his arms. When you do, your hands immediately find themselves tangled in his hair, and you tug at the roots lightly, earning a growl from him. You gasp and moan into his mouth when you feel his hands give your ass a good squeeze. He manages to carry you like this into his bedroom before gently dropping you onto his bed, where he palms himself above you as he gazes at your nude form. On god, you can literally see his dick print through his sweats, and it only fuels the wetness forming between your thighs.

“Atsumu, I’ve been waiting all fucking day long. Stop being an asshole and fuck me already like you promised,” you whine as you reach your hands up to rub them along his abdomen, relishing in the feeling of his abs beneath your fingertips. You were hoping that this would coax him into giving you what you want, but he merely ceases his actions and raises an eyebrow at you.

“Who do you think you are, talkin’ to me like that?” His eyes narrow, and he leans down so that he’s hovering directly above you. “Is my baby so goddamn horny that she actually forgot her manners?” His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, gradually squeezing it harder as he glares at you. “Looks like I’ll have to remind ya how to properly speak to me. Turn over - I want that ass up in the air.”

You pout as you obey his command and flip over on your knees so that your face is shoved into the pillow and your ass is sticking straight up for him, bracing yourself for what you know is about to come.

“You know the drill, since you wanna be such a goddamn slut - count for daddy.” Before you can respond, his hand collides with your left asscheek, causing you to yelp and moan, “One,” weakly into the pillow. The sting doesn’t last for very long, but you know better - by tomorrow, you won’t be able to sit properly.

He continues delivering powerful slaps to your ass and admires the way it jiggles with every smack and the redness blooming across the soft flesh. Every so often, he plunges two fingers into your now sopping heat, without warning. He removes them as quickly as he puts them in, causing you to whine in frustration. By the time you reach ten spanks, you’re babbling incoherently as you wiggle your hips in the air, clenching around nothing and desperate for anything to fill you up.

He flips you back over on your back and scoffs at your desperation. “Have you learned your lesson, whore?” It’s not a question - it’s a demand.

As much as you want to do or say whatever he wants so that he can fuck you already, it’s always more fun to see what happens when you piss him off. You jut out your lower lip in a pout and stare up at him defiantly. “No.”

Before you know it, you’re being flipped back onto your stomach. Another round of brutal spankings are delivered to your asscheeks, causing tears to prick your eyes as the burning pain sets in. You’re going to be sore for the next week.

“Leave it to a whore to be so mouthy,” he growls as he flips you over on your back again and thrusts two fingers into your cunt. “But you like this, don’t ya? You like pissin’ me off, because you like getting your pretty little ass spanked and you like being choked, whether it’s by my hand or on my cock. I should shut you up with my cock, since you wanna be so mouthy. Tell me, do ya like choking on cock, whore?”

“Yes, daddy,” you moan quite loudly. The combination of his degrading words and consistent thrusting of his fingers in and out of your pussy was sending you into a haze.

“Of course you fucking do,” he spits. “You told me so yourself when you were sitting all innocent in class. In fact, what else did ya tell me?” His thumb was now brushing vigorously against your clit during each thrust, causing your legs to shake violently. The whimpers falling from your lips grow louder as you focus on the buildup slowly forming in the pit of your stomach. However, your lack of response doesn’t impress him. He immediately pulls his fingers out and slaps your pussy, eliciting a jerk from your entire body and a drawn-out moan from the surprising sensation.

“Answer me, fuckdoll. Or you get nothing.” He literally shoves his fingers back in and continues his relentless thrusting, filling the room with the squelching sounds of your sloppy cunt. You scramble to remember the contents of the lewd texts you had sent him earlier that day, but your brain is so hazy from the orgasm you know is about to hit you, that you’re stumbling through your words.

“I-I said something about w-wanting to choke on your cock-” your sentence is cut off with a long moan as he applies direct pressure on your clit with his thumb.

“We established that already, dollface,” he scoffs. “What. Else.”

“I d-don’t remember,” you wail and thrash your head side to side against the pillow. Your release is so close, you can taste it. “Daddy, please let me cum - I’m going to cum!”

“Don’t remember? That’s a shame,” he remarks as he completely stops his actions and pulls his fingers out, yet again. You let out a scream of frustration at the fact that your orgasm was just cruelly ripped away from you. “Let’s see, maybe we need a refresher.” To your disbelief, he pulls out his phone and scrolls to the conversation from that morning. “Hmm, you told me to choke and spank you… Well, I’ve already done both of those, so what else?” His eyes narrow down at your quivering form and, to your relief, he puts his fingers back in you and continues thrusting. What was the last thing you told me, whore?”

“I-I told you to m-make me cum over and over a-again,” you gasp out as one final sharp thrust sends you completely over the edge. Before you know it, you’re screaming his name as you crash down from your high.

You moan in bliss as you feel the utter fucking release of the tension that had been building up inside you all day long. However, you barely have time to relax before you realize Atsumu’s still going at it in your now sensitive pussy.

“Tsumu,” you gasp as you feel your body jerking in response to the oversensitivity. “It’s s-so much… I-I c-can’t-”

The motherfucker literally laughs as he watches your face contort from the sheer overwhelming pleasure. “What? You asked for it. You’re droolin’ already and all I’ve given you are my fingers.” His jeering words ignite the fire building up for the second time as tears stream down your face from the overstimulation. “You tellin’ me you want me to stop?” He stuffs a third finger inside, stretching you even further and eliciting even more delicious cries from your lips. It felt like his fingers were thrusting even harder and faster, if that was possible.

“N-no, keep g-going,” you wail before you’re hit with your second orgasm of the night. All that you’re able to get out is a blubbering combination of “daddy” and “Tsumu” as your vision goes white and you hear the roaring of your own blood in your ears.

Atsumu finally slides his fingers out of your drenched pussy, eyes fixating on the string from your fluids attached to them. He takes advantage of your still panting mouth to stuff his fingers in between your lips. “You know what to do.” His eyes darken as he watches you desperately suck on his fingers, tasting your own essence on them. After he feels that you’ve effectively done a thorough job of cleaning them off for him, he smirks and pulls them out before leaning down so that he’s hovering above you.

“Good girl. Open wide for your reward.” Once you comply, he works up a good amount of saliva and lets it fall in your mouth, directly on your tongue. You moan as you relish the taste of his spit and swallow it all. “Thank you daddy,” you beam up at him.

He draws himself back in satisfaction as he pulls his sweatpants off, freeing his rock hard length and letting it slap against his abdomen. As spent as you are from your previous orgasms, there’s nothing you’re craving more than for him to be balls deep in your tight pussy. He just remains where he is, stroking himself as he watches you grow impatient for him to do something already.

“Tsumu,” you plead in the calmest tone you can muster. “Please fuck me already.”

He merely continues to pump his cock, much to your dismay. “How much do you want my big cock, whore?” Again, it isn’t a question.

“I want it more than anything in the whole wide world,” you beg. Each stroke to his cock only serves to increase your frustration.

“Prove it.”

You let out a groan and proceed to rub your tits, squeezing them together and rolling your nipples in between your fingers. In your attempt to please him, you notice the way Atsumu slightly picks up the pace of his strokes as he watches you play with your tits.

But it still isn’t enough for him.

“You can do better than that.”

Fucking hell. You let go of your breasts and spread your legs, hooking your hands behind your knees so that he has a perfect view of your pretty, spoiled pussy. Your cheeks burn as you bring your hand down to spread your lips, offering him access to your slick hole. “C’mon, Tsumuuuuu… I’m all good and ready for you.”

Atsumu swallows thickly and finally relents. He grabs your thighs and holds them open as he positions himself at your entrance and pushes into you. You’re so wet from your previous orgasms that he slides in easily, burying himself to the brim as he loses himself in the feeling of being fully sheathed inside you and lets out a long moan. It feels like your pussy is literally swallowing him up as he bottoms out. Your eyes roll back as you feel yourself being deliciously, oh so wonderfully, stretched. His fingers were heavenly on their own, but nothing in the world could compare to the feeling of his thick cock hitting all the right spots in you.

“Fuck, yeahhh. You’re so tight, fuck. How are ya so tight?” Atsumu’s breathing is heavy as he squeezes his eyes shut, relishing the sensation of your walls clenching around him. He starts thrusting slowly, checking your face for any signs of discomfort. However, you grow impatient and start wiggling your hips, urging him to go faster. He scoffs and slaps your breast in response. “Be patient, dollface. You’ll take what I give ya.” You whimper, but cease your actions. Atsumu must have apparently decided that was enough for him as well, because he picks up his speed.

His hips slap against you from the brutal way he fucks you into oblivion. His strokes are deep and hard, causing you to turn into a sobbing mess. The room is filled with the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass and your cries begging him to not stop and go even harder. The way he pounds into you has your entire body rocking back and forth as you moan at the feeling of his pelvis meeting you with each movement.

“M-more, daddy!” Drool is seeping out of the corners of your open mouth and your eyes are glazed over from the sheer feeling of him being balls deep in you.

“You love being fucked like this, don’t ya?” Atsumu’s grunts fill your ears and you clench even tighter at his words. “An’ it’s never enough for you. Insatiable whore.” He delivers a particularly sharp thrust at the word “whore” which makes you blubber nonsensically. You want to tell him that you’re his insatiable whore, but your words are jumbling together as all your senses are devoted to the way his cock is slamming in and out of your cunt.

At this rate, you’re about to cum again in no time. Atsumu picks up on this and makes you wrap your legs around him so he can pound into you even deeper from this new angle. The tip of his dick now hits your g spot with each brutal thrust, making you literally scream in delirium. He’s more than pleased at your response, which is why he suddenly halts his movements and tilts his head at you in the cockiest manner. You want to scream and swear at him in every language possible, but you’re in such disbelief that all you can muster is the dirtiest glare at him. He laughs at the way your hips involuntarily move around him.

“Look at ya, you’re so fuckin’ cockhungry. I’m not even doing anything and your pussy’s tryna suck me in.” Before you can protest, he suddenly pulls out so that just the tip of his dick is inside you and slams back in with no warning. He’s back to thrusting into you, hitting your g spot with immense force.

Before you know it, the knot that had been forming in your stomach completely snaps. His eyes train on the way your tongue lolls out of your mouth and your eyes cross together as your mind goes completely blank when you cum yet again. Your pussy clenches around him, causing him to swear profusely, and your fluids gush out involuntarily. Your cheeks are flushed and your chest is covered in the sheen from your sweat. He lets go of your thighs and leans over to meet your lips with his, never stopping the steady rhythm of his thrusts. You pant into his mouth as the sound of your heartbeat pounds in your ears and the cool metal of his chain dangles against your skin.

“C’mon, make that face again for me.” Atsumu begins to rub your clit harshly, eliciting a high-pitched mewl from you as your entire body shudders.

“I-I-I…” Your teeth are clenched and your eyes are squeezed shut as pressure fills your head from the overwhelming sensation spreading throughout your body. It’s all too much, and you’re not sure you can cum again.

“Give it to me one more time, pretty girl. I know you can do it, I gotcha.” Atsumu starts sucking on the sweet spot behind your ear and continues to fuck you with the vigor of a possessed man. The bedframe shakes uncontrollably from the way he pummels into you. His thumb rubbing furiously at your clit sends shock waves of pleasure throughout your overly sensitive body and before you know it, the familiar pressure is building up in your stomach again.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my go-,” you chant as your eyes roll back in your head and you scream out his name while your vision goes completely white. Atsumu groans at the feeling of your tight walls milking his cock for everything he has. Your whole body is shaking, and you’re so wracked with pleasure that you can scarcely process the way his thrusts grow sloppy as he gets closer and closer to his own release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” His groans fill the room as he erratically pummels into you to chase his high.

“Cum inside me, daddy. Want you to fill me all the way up.” Your words are slurring together at this point due to the heady arousal clouding your mind, but they’re enough to tip Atsumu over the edge. He lets out a moan and his hips stutter to a stop as you’re overcome with the feeling of his cock twitching inside you and suddenly filling you to the brim with his cum.

Atsumu collapses on top of you and pants heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. The two of you are silent for a good few minutes before he gathers whatever strength is left in him to pull out of you. He remains somewhat on top of your utterly spent body and peppers kisses all over your face. “You good?”

“Never better,” you reach a hand up to stroke his hair, and he hums contentedly in response before rolling over to your side. He throws an arm over you, hugging you to his body and just stares at you lovingly.

“I wasn’t too rough on ya, was I?” His hand reaches down to your ass to rub soothingly at the marks left by him.

“You were perfect, babe.” You grab his hand, intertwining your fingers with his own. “I’m sleeping good tonight, thanks to you.” He smiles at this and positions himself so that his head is tucked in the crook of your neck. He closes his eyes for a while as he savors the feeling of you stroking his hair and planting kisses on the top of his head.

“Babe?”

“Hm?”

“Ya wanna order food?” His eyes are still shut and you chuckle. “Yeah.”

“Who’s callin’?” He snuggles a bit further into you.

“Not it.” His eyes open and he looks up at you before literally pouting. You can’t believe this is the same man you were calling “daddy” just a few minutes ago.

“Why do I hafta do it,” he grumbles.

“Sorry that my phone’s out there and yours is literally at your feet because you wanted to be theatrical and ‘teach me a lesson.’” You smile as he continues to grumble under his breath, but pushes himself up to grab his phone and dial the number of your favorite takeout place. “Love youuuuuu,” you sing-song and flash a toothy grin at him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I love ya too.” He rolls his eyes and lies back down next to you as he speaks to the worker on the phone. The entire time he absentmindedly plays with your hands as you sigh contentedly and bask in the feeling of being with him.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

masterlist ｡･:*:･ﾟ rules

#im not used to writing smut oR full length scenarios so this was quite the feat #like i think an actual tear slipped out once #i hope u all enjoy teehee #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #atsumu scenarios #atsumu hcs #atsumu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu writing #haikyuu smut #haikyuu

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t0shii · 3 years

Text

hq boys when you're feeling anxious or stressed

suna rintaro, hinata shoyo, oikawa toru x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety, reader comparing themselves to others, mentions of food & hunger, driving. this is like all fluff no angst rlly tbh.

SUNA RINTARO.

he could tell something was up but conviced himself he shouldnt pry as he had already asked you twice if you were feeling alright, to which you reasurred him with a "yep" both times, it was suspicious but he thought maybe you just wanted to be left alone. meanwhile you weren't sure why you lied him, you obviously were not doing okay at the moment. currently he was driving you home and your anxiety was going absolutely crazy from the amount of school work that was piling up on you, it's unfair you thought to yourself, looking out the window. not only were you stressed from work but trying to keep up with your friend was hard, to say the least. they were phenomenal students, straight As in their transcript and though your grades were just fine, you couldn't help but feel inferior and insecure. it's unfair how effortlessly smart they are and how i'll never be able to catch up.... oh boy if your thoughts weren't running wild before they definitely were now, you hadn't even realized your boyfriend pulling into your driveway until he slightly tapped your shoulder. "are you sure you're alright? i don't wanna pressure you ofcourse but, you know you can tell me anything right?" ... and there were the water works! the little string holding you together had snapped just like that. you sat there in the passengers seat sobbing into your hands and suna rintaro hadn't a clue what to do in the moment.

"give me just a sec" you heard him mumble but not before he gave you a kiss as light as a feather on the top of your head. somehow you didn't notice him exit the car and rush to your side until he opened your door and hugged you so tight you honestly couldn't breathe. after a few seconds your boyfriend let go of the embrace which, to his dismay, only made you cry even harder. now, he knew he was known for being quite... stoic but he was definitely panicking on the inside and it was really difficult to remain calm on the outside. your boyfriend carefully reached over you to unbuckle the seatbelt that you had yet to unclasp. "lets go inside baby." his voice was so gentle it would've taken you by surprise had you not still been crying. you nodded in response and he helped you carefully out of the car, holding your hand all the way to the door, "d'ya have your key?" you nodded trying your best to unlock the door, after a few struggled and shakey attempts you finally had your door unlocked but not without rins help because he couldn't bare to watch you struggle any longer.

stepping inside rin helped you take your shoes off, removing his own after, "bedroom?" having calmed down a little you whispered "yes," with a small nod. he nodded with you in response and took you to your bedroom. after helping you change into comfy clothes he helped you into bed, crawling in right behind you. your back was snug against his chest and he held you super tightly, it was silent for a few minutes until finally he spoke up, "please tell me how i can help" you could feel your lip quiver. "well... you don't have to say anything right now, you know i can wait. i'll even leave if you want, i just wanted you to know that you can tell me whenever you're ready and that i'll listen." neither of you were sure when you'd be ready to admit what had gotten you so upset but you felt comfortable knowing suna rintaro would be there whenever you were ready, whether it be minutes from now or even months.

HINATA SHOYO.

your silence on the walk home was starting to concern him.. maybe im just talking too much... he thought, "hey... im sorry if im talking your ear off.. how was your day angel?" to say he was disappointed with your response would be an understatement. not thar you HAD to talk but usually you were talkative with him and the worry in his tummy was only growing more. a simple, "oh.. my day was alright sho," simply woundn't cut it! "hey, are you feeling okay?" it was silent for a few seconds before you answered a mumbled "i think so, are you feeling alright, sho?" he simply nodded with a "mhm" and you told him to continue on with his story from earlier.

he complied but only to fill the silence. hinata decided to trust you when you said you were okay because you know your own feelings and he knows for a fact he's made it clear before that you could and should let him know if something was bothering you. though you enjoyed listening to hinata's stories you only found yourself getting lost in your own mind whilst he rambled on.you could tell he was suspicious of your behavior but was grateful he had left his curiosity behind because you were sure you would snap if he had asked you if you were okay again, you really didn't want to cry in front of him. truth is, your thoughts were running wild, stressing over the smallest things; assignments due at the end of the week, what you were gonna get your boyfriend for your anniversary, how you were gonna make time for your friends surprise birthday party and helping sho with his studied all the while trying to take care of your own self and keep your own grades afloat. "y/n..? we're at your house.. are you sure your alright? you look a little pale, are you ill?" crap! how had you not noticed you were approaching your own driveway you wanted to slap yourself for being so clueless. you couldn't help but feel horrible for not listening to your boyfriends story also.

"yes sho i'm fine really, i just didn't have time to eat lunch today but i have food inside so don't worry m'may?" he looked at you suspiciously and you knew he was onto you, "y'know y/n, i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on but just know i'll always be here for you, okay?" he gave you a small smile before engulfing you into a tight hug, it honestly melted your heart. surprisingly, you didn't start crying on the spot. "y'know, i wanted to trust you when you said you were okay but now i'm not so sure if you were telling the truth," he mumbled into your shoulder. you sighed, giving up the facade. "sho.... i just don't know what to do honestly, i have alot on my plate right now and i'm really stressed with all the responsibilities ive piled onto myself," you admitted. he nodded lifting his head from your shoulder, giving you the brightest smile, "well, i can always help out! i might not be the mooost helpful person ever but i'll try my best, and if anything i'm good moral support!" you giggled at that but suddenly you felt your lip quiver from the sudden guilt you feeling, "i'm sorry for lying to you sho-", "hey! its alright! you dont need to apologize. especially dont need you crying on me now!" he smiled cupping your face in his hands, wiping away a few stray tears of whom managed to escape.

OIKAWA TORU.

you smile back at him and thought of how silly it was that you tried keeping your feelings a secret from your boyfriend of two years, hinata shoyo, feeling glad that you confided in him. he knew you were upset as soon as he saw you that very morning, he could read you like and open book and you knew that fact very well. still though, you tried your best to hide yourself from him, though it was hard considering you sitting right next to him in the passenger seat of his car. finally after a whole day of being worried sick, he was tired of leaving things left unsaid "babyyyy," he sang for you from the kitchen, "please come here a sec!" he yelled for you louder. soon you came trudging down the hallway, blanket wrapped around your body, he couldn't help but smile at how adorable his s/o looked.

"c'mere quickly," he said will a grin, opening his arms for a hug, which you gladly accept, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. "now, i know you know that i know that you're not feeling well, so please tell me what's got my angel so upset?" he said softly rubbing his hand lightly over your back, his voice a little muffled from his cheek being squished against the top of your head. you let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding, "'m sorry tooru, i don't know what's wrong with me today.... just not feeling well." you felt him nod against your head in response, "well good thing your amazing boyfriend is here to make you feel all better huh?" you let a out small giggle at that. "you know you can tell me when you're feeling down right? you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside", "i know tooru... im sorry, i just dont really know wbat i'm feeling so down about though," you admitted shyly. "hey that's okay! there absolutely no need to apologize for that, here, look at me, angel," he tilts your face so you're looking up at him, his big soft hands holding your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks lightly, "i'm here whenever you figure it out, hell, even if you dont figure it out or there just isn't any reason at all. you know i'm always, always, always here. i promise you that, m'kay?" he finishes his little speech with a smile, smothering your face in kisses. you could only feel relieved, thankful and loved. because you knew that you would always have your soulmate, oikawa toru by your side.

( a/n ; ahh so im sorry if this has any spelling or grammatical errors it's sort of late as i'm writing this! and im too lazy to proof read.... also it might just all be word vomit and if it is im so sorry 😩 ++ i'm positive ive kept the reader gn throughout the whole thing but if there are slip-ups i promise i'll do better next time! i rlly wanted to write some hq boys when ur feeling anxious and beyond stressed because i have been MEGA struggling with my own anxiety lately, especially bc of school so i just needed to let my feelings go! anywhooo i hope everyone who reads this has an amazing day or night! ) p.s. im new to writing so be nice 2 me or whatever 😩🙄😌👍🏻

#oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa toru #oikawa headcanons #suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #suna x y/n #suna rintaro headcanons #hinata shoyo #suna rintaro #hinata x reader #hinata x y/n #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff #rintaro x reader #shoyo x reader #toru x reader #sunni's works 📓

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0606-hyuck · 3 years

Text

BOYFRIEND!HENDERY

includes:

♡ before the relationship

♡ becoming comfortable/humour

♡ relationships with other members

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting

♡ disagreements

♡ dates/texting/social media

♡ languages/"i love you"

masterlist

enjoy!

wc: 1.7k

♡ before the relationship ♡

hendery had noticed you hung out in a spot he went to reguarly

the first few times he saw you he would simply admire you from a distance

and then he realised how creepy that was and decided to actually go up and talk to you

on the inside he was quite nervous, but on the outside he conveyed an air of confidence that you liked

so of course you gave him your number

and soon you were hanging out all the time

you quickly realise that hendery is...something lol

but not it a bad way

you never know what sort of shit you and hendery are going to get into, he's so unpredictable

he confessed to you first

let's be honest, he developed a crush on you really quick

but he was still nervous to admit his feelings for you, even though it was obvious you liked him back

one of the only times you've seen him so shy and nervous lol

he bought you a bouquet of flowers and took you out to lunch and confessed to you there

he was really worried you'd turn him down so he was kinda surprised when you said yes to him being your boyfriend

♡ becoming comfortable/humour ♡

nothing much changed when you started dating

he had always been his crazy self around you anyway

but he became more cuddly and affectionate towards you which was cute

randomly comes up and smothers you in kisses when you're not even doing anything

LOVES back hugs!!

imagine hendery coming up behind you and wrapping his hands around your waist while he buries his face in the crook of your neck

omg i'm in tears

speaking of tears, hendery has you crying with laughter daily

let's all admit it now, homie is hilarious

he literally went to a comedy/acting school???

so ofc he's going to be effortlessly making you smile all the time

in my opinion he has the best banter and loves to joke around with you

nothing is off-limits for him

he catches on to your jokes really quickly and is super witty so you have so many long running inside jokes with him

a little bit uncomfortable when you're crying so instead of reassuring you he tries his best to make you laugh to take your mind off your problems

the definition of 3am thoughts

"water is wet, don't fight me on this y/n"

makes you question both the world and your sanity at random times

he's actually really smart though so his 3am questions are both entertaining and convincing

feels the need to fill in silence with his own voice all the time

even if you're cuddling with him

can go like 2 mins without talking

and then suddenly his mouth is by your ear and he's asking you whether you believe in a specific conspiracy theory

it's kind of soothing though

just lying in hendery's arms, listening to him argue his points about something while you slowly doze off

♡ relationship with other members ♡

he was really keen to introduce you to the other members of wayv

because you're an important part of his life and so are they

luckily they all accepted you really quickly

and for once hendery is the one being teased because he's in a relationship

"oh my god hendery is so fuckin whipped for you!" "disgusting"

but hendery doesn't care because hell yeah! he is whipped for you! he isn't embarrassed at all

you deserve to be showed off and loved bby

wayv eventually stops with the teasing when they realise they're not going to get a reaction out of hendery

and they don't even blink an eye when you come over to the dorms

also yangyang specifically really likes you because you humour his teasing and jokes

and since you're dating hendery you're basically an older sister to yangyang

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting ♡

hendery LOVES to flirt with you

sometimes he says really greasy pick up lines to you

other times he's sooo romantic

he will also tell you how much he loves you anywhere

literally praises for days

he especially loves flirting with you in front of the rest of wayv

he's so shameless lol

sometimes the other members can't even stand being in the same room as you and hendery because he's so whipped for you

and it's strange for them to see him flirting nonstop lmaoo

and he absolutely loves it when you flirt back

like it makes his heart race so fast

but your flirting also just boosts his ego and confidence

i just feel like he'd be a really good (but cheesy) flirter

and when you flirt back he's like "aww that's cute you're trying" but he loves being praised too

ugh someone just tell hendery how amazing he is and how much he's loved please

i can't see hendery getting jealous at all

if wayv is jokingly hitting on you he'd probably join in (unless you were uncomfortable ofc) because he loves praising you and making you blush

even if it was a stranger he'd find it amusing they were trying to flirt with you

"good try pal but y/n is not going to get with you"

he usually doesn't interfere either unless you really feel uncomfortable because he knows you won't flirt back

hendery trust you so much that it doesn't even cross his mind you'd ever cheat on him or hurt him that way

and if you did cheat you'd absolutely break his heart and i would be legally obligated to hit you over the head with a baseball bat multiple times

but you never would because you love hendery too much to ever lose him

for some reason i can see hendery not being phased by pda?

he's doesn't hesitate to kiss you in public and hold your hand and give you back hugs and cute shit like that

because mans knows how lucky he is to be with you and is so proud to be your boyfriend

so ofc he's going to show you off at any opportunity

♡ disagreements? ♡

idk what you guys would have disagreements about

because his relationship with you is the first serious one he's ever had

so he tries his absolute best to be the perfect boyfriend

and he's not far off it tbh

always thinking of you and things you'd like

he just puts so much effort into the relationship

and the second he accidentally upsets you or does something you don't like he's on his knees begging for forgiveness

and you're like "hendery, baby, it's not even that serious. you got the wrong flavour of ice cream but i'm not even upset" lol

♡ dates/texting/social media ♡

dates with hendery are always so thought out and fun

he remembers little things you've said in passing that you like

so if you said "oh i prefer fun, active things" he'd make sure your next date includes lots of opportunities to run around and get close to you

he's just down for whatever makes you happiest because the most important thing for him is seeing you smile :)

when he's away homeboy misses you so much he has no idea what to do with himself

constantly moans to wayv how much he misses you

rings you every night after he's finished his schedule to tell you about his day and listen to yours

usually you're the one listening to hendery talk but it's okay because you like to listen to him and he makes sure to ask you if he's boring you (which he never is)

there's no specific time he texts you during the day

he's not really the type to send good morning/good night texts unless you were already texting

however he randomly sends you pictures of his pets, louis, leon, and bella lol

and we're talking super zoomed in photos or him holding their ears/tails/paws in a funny position

basically 90% of his social media is you/selfies with you

he already posts selfies heaps so he doesn't mind adding you into the mix

as we've previously discussed he's not worried about showing you off

so he's not on that "i can't post my partner on insta" bullshit

it may seem sweet that hendery posts pics of you heaps but be warned

he does not care if you are pulling an embarrassing face in the pictures

in fact that makes him want to post it even more lol

you're constantly on his instagram stories too

he has a habit of randomly photoshopping his and your faces onto other people and then posting that??

don't ask me why but he finds it hilarious and totally normal to do that, so he does

he also likes leaving funny comments on your own posts

and he definitely sends your own posts to you in a text saying something like "I JUST DROPPED MY KIMCHI YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS"

your hype man

♡ languages/"i love you" ♡

hendery prefers to talk to you in chinese (cantonese/mandarin)

but he'll also learn english or korean for you since he has the basics down and friends to help him practice

any other language he will struggle through to learn because he want to make you happy

hendery is the first one to say "i love you"

he's so in love with you that he probably says it after like a month of dating

so you're a little bit shocked but you can tell he really means it

and he'd be kind of shy about it because he knows it's a bit soon to be saying stuff like that

but he really wants you to know how he feels about you

because he's never felt this way about anyone and his love and affection for you is literally bursting from him

aww

i honestly don't know much about hendery

except he's an absolute sweetie and would 110% be the best boyfriend ever

if i could choose anyone out of wayv to be my boyfriend i'd definitely choose hendery

because i know my feelings are gonna be validated and i'm going to feel loved 24/7 and also peeing myself with laughter

anyway only people with big dick energy stan wayv

so if you have a big dick, stream kick back 😜

#neowritingsnet #nct #nct 2020 #wayv #nct scenario #nct imagine #wayv scenario #wayv imagine #wayv as your boyfriends #hendery #hendery nct #nct hendery #wayv hendery #hendery wayv #hendery x reader #hellabts #huang guanheng

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mulletcal · 4 years

Text

we do it the best - a calum hood one shot.

gif credit: from this post by @myloverboyash who is v sweet and let me use these!

a/n: this is some porn without much plot tbh, i blame @cthofficial. also this is the first thing i wrote with my new laptop so she rly got broken in w this one word count: 2.2k warnings: smut, oral (female receiving), light dom!cal, lil bit of choking, use of the word ‘daddy’, blood mention (nothing graphic), oral (male receiving) towards the end, a bit of throat fucking, i can’t think of anything else - lowkey making a sex tape if that makes anyone uncomfortable.

i’m not saying this is borderline the filthiest thing i’ve written but if the shoe fits

*****

Calum knew before he started dating you that you were a YouTuber; he had seen your videos, and even admitted upon meeting him that he had used one of your videos to reference when he was attempting to make a vegetarian pad see ew. You never thought that you’d find him in your kitchen on a sunny afternoon helping you make cupcakes.

The two of you had yet to go public, so when Calum asked you if he could help you make cupcakes you were surprised. There was speculation about the two of you being together, but no one was ever able to make the connection that proved it, always some sort of source falling through.

“Cal,” You laughed, picking an egg shell out of the batter, “You gotta watch.”

“Sorry baby,” he mumbled, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he tried to crack the second egg without any shells, the bright grin you adored appearing on his lips when he succeeded.

You let out a soft chuckle, pressing your lips to his cheek before you continued to talk through what the two of you were doing. Calum was listening to you as you spoke, but what he was more so eagerly waiting for was getting to lick the cake batter off the attachment of your hand mixer. He had offered to buy you a stand mixer, but you also knew you were able to buy it for yourself, and you kind of enjoyed being able to mix it almost entirely yourself.

Calum finished greasing the cake pan as you had instructed, so you poured the mix into the pans and set them into the oven while he set the timer. When you turned to him, you grinned, “Clean up ti-”

Your words fell short when you saw him absolutely devouring the cake mix off of one of the beaters, tongue moving almost pornographically against it, causing your breath to hitch in your throat.

“Problem, angel?” Calum smirked, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that told you exactly that he knew what he was doing.

Clearing your throat, you moved past him to grab the other beater that still had cake mix on it. You began to clean it with your tongue, letting out a soft moan at how good it tasted, “No problem at all baby.”

Calum only let you continue with your work for a moment longer, swiping his fingers on the inside of the bowl to get some batter from there before holding it up to your lips, “Since you want a taste so bad, go ahead.” He had been attempting to tease you, sure, but two can play at that game. Pulling the beater away from your lips, you leaned forward to take his fingers into your mouth, teasingly rolling your tongue over them, your eyes never leaving Calums’.

“You are an absolute menace,” He whined, savouring the feeling of your tongue. “Hop up on the counter baby girl, I know the perfect sweet to tide me over till the cake is ready.”

Rolling your eyes, you made the few short steps to the counter, about to hop up when Calum grabbed the back of your shirt to stop you, “What d’you think you’re doin’?”

“Getting on the counter, as requested,” You furrowed your brows, turning to face your boyfriend with a slightly confused look - did he really just forget what he had instructed you to do?

“Oh, I see, so I’m being expected to do all the work? You know the rules, baby girl, pants off,” He said with a tap of your thigh that sent shivers up your spine. You nonetheless complied to his request, stripping your leggings and underwear in one go before finally hopping onto the counter. The cool marble felt like a shock against your dangerously warm skin,making you gasp quietly.

Calum started from your ankles, working his lips slowly against your skin as he made his way up. Pushing your legs apart further, Calum began to suck hickies to the inside of your thigh, knowing how much you enjoyed being marked by him. Once he was satisfied that he had teased you just enough, and left enough marks on you, he continued his trails of kisses further upwards, stopping just short of where you needed it most.

“How much time have we got baby?” Calum asked, peering up at you through thick lashes.

“Ten minutes.”

“Perfect, I can do it in less than that probably.” His teasing smirk made you roll your eyes once more; he knew you were already worked up just from his light teasing, of course it wouldn’t take him long, he knew all of your weaknesses.

Calum dove right in, not even trying to be shy as he wrapped his plump lips around your clit, circling his tongue around the sensitive bud. Moaning softly, you arched into his touch, tightening your fingers in his blonde locks. His fingers teased your entrance, making you whine, urging him to continue.

When he finally pressed two fingers inside of you, it nearly sent you over the edge right then and there, the anticipation almost too much for you. Calum kept a sinister pace, his lips and tongue working overtime against your clit, clearly determined to beat the clock. Hooking his fingers inside of you, you clenched around him as you let out a particularly loud moan, feeling him grin against you since he could tell you were getting close.

“You gonna cum for me baby? Come on, I know you’re almost there,” He moaned against you, removing his fingers. You wanted to groan at the loss, but he seemed to switch his fingers and tongue, pressing his tongue against your entrance while his fingers circled your clit.

Lifting your head to look down at him, your eyes quickly glanced over to the timer, realizing there was only ten seconds left. Huffing out a laugh, it was cut off by you moaning as your orgasm overtook you. Falling over the edge, you moaned out Calum’s name, rocking your hips against his tongue. The timer going off was lost on you as Calum worked you through your high, his tongue cleaning up the mess you made.

When you finally came down, your breathing was still laboured, but you were able to whisper out, “The cakes.”

Calum laughed, resting his head against your thigh and glanced up at you, “I’ll go get the cakes out of the oven on one condition..” He trailed off, waiting for you to look at him. Once you had, he continued, “You bend over this counter so once I do I can come properly appreciate this cake.”

With a pinch to your ass, he rose to his full height, leaving you with your mouth hanging open. You complied of course, eager to see what he was going to do next, upper half resting against the counter. There was commotion behind you, Calum taking the cakes out of the oven and setting them on the top of it. When he turned around, he let out a low whistle when his eyes landed on you.

“Look at this, my pretty baby. So ready for me, just desperate for my cock, hm?” His fingers trailed over the swell of your ass before delivering a sharp smack causing you to yelp in surprise, “Answer me when I’m speaking to you.”

“Yes Daddy, please…” You whined, arching into his hand that was rubbing over the red mark that was forming.

“Please what?”

Another smack, this time to the other cheek, and another yelp from you, cheek pressing against the counter, “Want your cock, please Daddy.”

Calum pressed his clothed lower half against you, feeling his length on the back of your thigh, “You gonna be nice and loud for me princess? Let everyone know who’s making you feel so good?”

“Yes,” you whispered, pressing yourself back against him further, smiling when his hands came to rest on your ass.

“Patience is a virtue, my sweet.” Calum slid his sweats down just enough to free his length, positioning himself so his cock was pressing against your entrance. You waited with baited breath for him to push in, sighing with relief when he did. The familiar stretch made you feel warm, adjusting your hips as he filled you perfectly.

As Calum moved his hips, yours hit the counter, well aware that you would have bruises tomorrow, but you welcomed it. As long as it meant Calum kept going, you didn’t care what minor pain you got.

“M’not hearing you, baby girl,” He murmured, sliding his hand around your throat to cup it and pull you back towards him, “Wanna hear you screamin’ for me.”

“Gonna have to work a lot harder than that, Daddy,” you moaned softly, arching your hips back into him. It was as if you had set something off in him, him never having to deal with you being borderline bratty. He squeezed your neck once more before letting go, allowing your body to fall back onto the counter.

Calum’s hands instead went to cup your ass, rubbing his hands over it gingerly as his movements slowed, contemplating his next moves. You knew it was coming, but his hand delivering a rough slap lurched you forward, writhing under his touch. The second smack was met with a loud moan, and Calum chuckled behind you, “You like to seem so innocent and sweet, but if only the world saw you like I do.”

His pace picked back up without warning, his thrusts more determined than before. At that point you had given up on trying to put up a front for him, letting your body give in to wave after wave of pleasure he was giving you with each thrust. When Calum angled his hips so he brushed against your sweet spot, you let out a strangled cry, fists opening and closing as if you were gripping something that wasn’t there. Large hands came down to sharply land against your now sensitive skin once more, the pain only bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

Reaching around, Calum began to circle his fingers around your clit once again, pushing you over the edge without you being able to give him much of a warning. He didn’t seem to care though, continuing to fuck you through it. Your loud moans echoed off the walls, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood.

When you came down, Calum’s large frame leaned into you so he could speak into your ear, “I’m close baby, where do you want me to cum?”

“My mouth,” You said softly, your voice now bordering on hoarse.

You could feel Calum grin against your shoulder, sliding out of you gently causing you to sigh at the feeling. He gently coaxed you to your knees as he continued to stroke himself, waiting for you to take him into your mouth. Teasing the tip with your tongue, you brought your hand up to replace Calum’s stroking him with likely the same amount of pressure.

Calum brought his hands to the back of your head, holding you there while he slowly began to thrust into your mouth. He knew you enjoyed these things, but he never hesitated to go slow at the start so you had a chance to say no regardless. Opening up your mouth more, you allowed him to fuck into your mouth, moaning at the sensation.

It didn’t take him much longer to finish, since he had already been so close only a minute prior. You kept moving your mouth to work him through it, soft whimpers falling from his lips at the stimulation. Once he had finished, you gently cleaned him up with your tongue before taking his outstretched hands so he could help you stand. Your legs were still wobbly from the two orgasms you had, but you stepped back so you could lean against the counter. Calum’s thumb came up to swipe at your lip, collecting anything you may have missed around your own mouth before placing it against your lips for you to clean off.

“Guess we should probably actually clean up, huh,” You laughed, pulling him closer so you could press a kiss to his lips.

“I’m gonna go get you some soothing cream for that pretty ass of yours, but I can help you clean up after, hm?”

When Calum went to go gather the supplies, you began to clean up. Glancing up, you noticed the camera was still filming, freezing in place when you realized that it most definitely caught not one, but two angles of what you had just done. Your first immediate thought was to delete the footage, but then you thought of the fact that Calum would be leaving for tour soon, and phone sex didn’t always do it for him, also with your anniversary coming up, how could you resist the urge to edit together the footage for him?

So when Calum opened up a simple USB thumbstick for your anniversary, you could tell he was confused, until you reminded him of your time in the kitchen, his eyes were wide and it prompted excited kisses and missing a dinner reservation.

tag list: @haikucal @talkfastromance4 @softbabiestan @boyfriend-cal @calum-uncrowned @wildflowerirwin @irwinkitten @irwindoll @gosh-im-short @thesubtweeter @ridingcthood @loveroflrh @mantlereid @inlovehoodx @n-ctarinenga @g-l-pierce @thecurlsofgod @idontneedanyone @califl0wer @clemmings @cthofficial @ashtonsos

#calum hood #calum hood one shot #calum hood smut #calum hood fanfiction #5sos fanfiction

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gaawachan · 3 years

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Critical Role 126 Discord Convo

Here, my sibling and I talked a bit about Veth, Caleb, the Cerberus Assembly, and Astrid/Wulf in particular (it starts out a bit goofy at first but gets serious): Sibling: Did you see that animatic I sent you, speaking of that scene?

Me: Yes

Sibling: Like, it'd be great to update it with Astrid and Wulf in a mound just behind the 9

Me: Lol, they would have seen the polymorphed worm, too... And the yeti friends... "They... built snowmen in balenpost?"

Sibling: And had to camp out while they disappeared into the wizard tower... the Beau-shaped hole in Balenpost lol

Me: There was a jester one too

Sibling: LOL. Like, a snowman... a snowman with 2 heads

Me: and sad faces

Sibling: One kicked over snowman and two human-shaped holes in the snowbanks. But seriously, there's no way someone isn't aware that Vess is dead. Her window was open, letting the snow come in

Me: Oh, the assembly knows. At the very least, Ludinus, Trent, and the scourgers definitely know. Astrid "thanked" Caleb because she's assuming he killed her, or she wants that to be the case, at least.

Sibling: Veth is totally missing the point. The writing is on the wall, Astrid is using the shit out of Caleb and I think, at the very least it might be an interesting DQ6 moment where when they come back from saving the world, Astrid's already taken Trent's place and they have to deal with it that way.

Me: Yeah, it's very obvious, especially when you consider how Astrid and Caleb have similarities. Like... Astrid's panic attack in the alley reminded me of Caleb's breakdown in Shady Creek Run. Right after the manipulation is over and they're out of sight, they have a breakdown. Tbh... If Caleb were to replace anyone on the assembly, it shouldn't be Trent. It should be Ludinus. Ludinus is the root of the problems in the empire, pretty much everyone is certain at this point that that is the case. The king is evil but seems incompetent/useless.

Sibling: I wonder, honestly, if that'll be the conclusion to the M9? If Caleb's arc will conclude it?

Me: But at the same time I don't want him to be in the assembly; I don't think he WANTS to be.

Sibling: Rewatching the table scene *Veth: (to Wulf) "When the war was a bit more hot... Were you much more busy?" Wulf: "Not any more than yourselves." Veth: "No I mean, were you out on the lines like a soldier?" Wulf: "I'm not much of a frontliner... More of a scout, if you would."* Wulf is totally tailing them. Wulf is absolutely the person they sent after them, I'm certain of it.

Me: Yeah, I figured. There's going to be a confrontation in Eiselcross when they're traveling with Essek, I'm sure of it. That's gonna be rough.

Sibling: No, I know that, but it stuck out to me. I feel like Matt's dropping major hint bombs... ex vs current bf?

Me: I wonder if Essek has MET Wulf before.Sibling: I like Wulf more than Astrid.

Me: Me, too.

Sibling: I think I'll be sad if he gets gravity crushed, but he better not lay a finger... on my butterfinger.

Me: I mean, I feel bad for them both, but the problem is that they can't be trusted with power, and if the Assembly falls, they may try to seize power. Tbh I just don't see them surviving to the end and that's pretty sad.

Sibling: I could see Wulf being turned if the party spent more time on things, seeing as he seems to be more of a piece to be manipulated than a major player himself... but their focus is entirely on Trent and Astrid, which makes me think that he'll be canned.

Me: Actually, I'm not so sure about that Wulf thing. I think he may be harder to reach in some ways. See the thing is... Astrid wants power. That's understandable. But it's not clear if she wants power for necessarily nefarious purposes or if it's just that the life of poverty she led before coupled with how much she's lost drives her to reach for it, and it's not clear what would satisfy her or whether or not she'd be interested in taking her life in a different direction, so that's complicated.

Me: But with Wulf... Wulf's issues are simpler, which I think arguably makes him harder to reach. Wulf and Astrid have both basically shrugged off their parents' deaths at this point, they've both indicated as much in different ways, but Wulf's a servant of the Raven Queen. He can rationalize the death of anything and anyone under her banner. Unlike Astrid, who is motivated by power/ambition, Wulf is the holy soldier... of the death god. That's uh... zealotry.

Me: Worse still, he has religious motivations for going against those who use Dunamancy, which is likely an anathema to the Raven Queen. He was already following her when he was a teenager, because Caleb was looking to see if he had any symbols of her on him when they first reunited. Honestly I really don't think either of them can truly be reached unless Caleb DOES take over the assembly and even then they might do scummy stuff behind his back out of perceived necessity.

Sibling: If his motivations have been so tied up in his religion, it would make it very difficult to reach him, true. But Astrid seems to have invested so much into her ambitions that I wonder if she might try to quiet those talking her out of it. She seems very aware of her actions' consequences, unlike someone like Essek who had ambitions without understanding where his studies would take him. If they're left alive, which I don't think they will be, Caleb's best scenario would be to avoid the assembly as much as possible.

Me: Honestly at this point I feel like the entire government of the Empire needs to be cleared out and replaced, ideally by the Cobalt Soul. Though that would be very controversial, I don't think any other organization can be trusted with filling that vacuum. The Soul is ultimately an international religious organization, but considering they have shown willingness to weed out corruption within their own ranks, it would be interesting if they pooled their resources and had the Empire taken over by a circle of vetted monks instead of corrupt mages, and then have them transition to a democracy eventually.

Sibling: Considering that Matt has reinforced that the Cobalt Soul is attempting to weed out its own corruption, but can't seem to do so for other organizations... I wonder how long it would last. At least they wouldn't have to operate in secret anymore. Maybe that would lift their final restriction?

Me: Well, the thing that really chafes at me with respect to Caleb potentially joining the assembly is that he just DOESN'T FIT THERE. I've thought this before but Caleb would be more at home working for the Cobalt Soul than the Assembly. He's been talking about burning out the rot in the Empire for ages now, and that's basically the goals of the expositors. I wouldn't object to him being involved in the Empire's government... as long as that government did not consist of anything resembling the assembly. A complete restructuring.

Sibling: I mean, you can't really rework the gov unless you're already in a position like Ludinus, but even then, Caleb I still feel like is not the person for that.

Me: But let's be real, ideally he would be the head of the Soltryce Academy... and that's the thing... One of the problems with Wulf and Astrid is that you get the feel that they could rationalize doing anything. And you have to wonder under all that rationalization and manipulation if there is any malice/sadism... there probably is, which sucks because Astrid is actually far better positioned to be an effective politician than Caleb; she's had experience around it for over a decade, she probably knows politics very well. Caleb is earnest and an excellent negotiator but he is not a politician. He would be best off as an ambassador, if I had to pick a political position for him to take.

Sibling: The government does still need to be overthrown for Essek to come hang out with Caleb though, so it must be done.

Me: It must be done. Looping back to Veth/Astrid... Here are some of the posts on Veth's behavior that I've seen. *posts a bunch of links* It's interesting... the Astrid thing. I haven't seen anyone else point this out, but... Veth probably sees Astrid as being Caleb's Yeza. And if Caleb can go back to Astrid and be happy, it's like a test run for her going back to Yeza. Which is pretty messed up. He keeps telling her "Yes, I care for her, but we've both changed" and that's not something Veth wants to think about because it applies to her as well, except that... well, Yeza really hasn't changed. Just her.

Sibling: 1) Ah, skirting her trauma by attempting to address what she sees as Caleb's? Addressing her issues by proxy? Overbearing mom living vicariously through her son...? ... That kind of makes my stomach churn, but I get it. 2) Another revenge perspective. Considering her knee-jerk reaction to kill people who've wronged her family or the party, I think revenge is totally an aspect that has gone unexplored for her. 3) Eugh, the romance still squicks me out, but I understand. Nott was a different person to Veth, she probably had a hope out for returning to her form and going back to Yeza... But I wonder if she thought he wouldn't accept her, and she had Caleb as like... (ew) a backup?

Me: I mean, it's pretty well-established that she has a thing for Caleb. And yeah, her feelings for him are pretty fucked up because of their dynamic up to the point where they went to Felderwin. The CA did wrong her family, and so did Essek, and Veth is very much a vengeance-minded person in a far more straightforward way than Caleb. Most of the others have told Caleb that if he goes after the Assembly, it should be for the right reasons. Interestingly, Veth, Fjord, and Jester don't seem to agree exactly. Jester sees it as a sort of "why not both?" thing. Fjord seems to have no qualms with vengeance at all (unsurprising considering which parts of his past have not yet been resolved, and yet Fjord has never gotten shit for that like Caleb has, and Sabian has done far less harm/damage than Trent). But Veth? Veth sees vengeance as clearcut, something that ought to be pursued and then when it's done, it's done and she's satisfied. It's interesting that the person who Caleb was most attached to at the start of the campaign is also by far the most unhealthy influence on him in the group at this point.

Sibling: I think it's because Fjord hasn't been molded by Sabian. Sabian wronged him, but the more Fjord found out about himself, the less important that seemed. And the more they found out, the more you begin to call into question whether what he did was to get rid of Vandran, an unsavory figure or... something else? Not to mention, Sabian is insignificant, whereas Caleb's abuser is still abusing people to this day. I can see there are major differences between the consequences of either of their revenge quests.

Me: Yes, but that's precisely my point. Sabian is not hugely harmful in comparison to Trent, so it's interesting that people give Caleb shit for being motivated partially by revenge, while Fjord doesn't get any when that's basically his ONLY motivation for tracking down Sabian.

Sibling: Probably because Fjord might get a reason without killing Sabian. Caleb might be walking into a trap, laid out by his peers. I still am of the opinion that killing Trent is a net positive. Just the act of getting rid of him is necessary to stop the cycle. But what comes next is the most important part. Because if Trent is dead when they come back, and Astrid sits in his place... The perpetuation of this cycle won't come to a close.

Me: Yes. I mean, personally? His entire section of the Empire's government should be outright dissolved. It's absolutely revolting. The thing is that it's not just Trent that needs to go; it's his POSITION. That needs to not exist, and I don't see that ever happening so long as Ludinus exists as well. Edit: Well, you basically said what I meant in a different way, lol.

#critical role #critrole #critrole spoilers #critical role spoilers #episode 126 #caleb widogast #astrid beck #eadwulf #veth brenatto #nott the brave #trent ikithon #ludinus da'leth #essek thelyss #cerberus assembly #meta #fjord stone #thisconversationwasallovertheplacehowdoitagthis

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seita · 4 years

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— haikyuu squirting.

includes: kuroo, kenma, yaku, bokuto, akaashi, + konoha.

p a r t t h r e e ;;

⤸ last: two ⤿ next: four (coming soon!)

-ˋˏ nekoma ˎˊ-

— tetsurou kuroo.

≻ making you squirt is one of his all time favorite things tbh.

≻ he makes you squirt every chance he gets

≻ he loves how hard you cum, the way you tremble and the way your eyes roll back in your head

≻ it fills him with a sense of power and euphoria

≻ he’s simply a man who lives for your pleasure

he can’t fight the grin on his face as he watches the way your head falls forward, burying your face in your pillow. you can’t hold yourself up on your hands properly.

he doesn’t mind, he prefers this position more anyway. he grips your hips, angling them a bit to make it easier for him to his that sweet spot deep inside you.

“t-tetsu!” you sob, muffled by the pillow you’re crying into.

“what is it, baby? my cock too much for you?” he coos, “you gonna cum for me?”

you nod, lifting your head up to gasp when he reaches beneath you to circle your sensitive little clit. the bud had been completely neglected and feeling his rough fingers circling had you squealing, “please, i’m so close!!”

“oh yeah?” he grunts, “you gonna make a mess for me like i want, baby?”

you nod, your nails digging into the pillow case until the fabric creaks in protests. your mouth falls open but no sound breaks free as you dangle so precariously over that intense edge, ready to fall.

it builds and builds until you’re trembling and waiting for the coil to snap.

when it did, you choked on a sob and fell forward, only being supported by your boyfriends grip. he grunts as you gush around his cock and hand, soaking your thighs, his fingers, and the bed beneath you.

laughing, he pats your clit, forcing a few more squirts of your cum out before he backs off and lets you breathe, “that’s a good girl. givin’ me just what i want.”

— kenma kozume.

≻ honestly makes you squirt by accident 99% of the time

≻ it’s not that he doesn’t like when you do it

≻ he just doesn’t really like the mess

≻ but if you do squirt

≻ it’s fine

≻ no big deal

≻ he just carries on as usual. he’ll deal with the mess later

≻ all he cares about rn is making you cum again and again

“k-ken wait!” you suddenly cry out, making him frown.

he slows his movements, still holding onto your hips, “what?”

“i-i’m gonna make a mess...” you bashfully admit, covering your face with your hands.

he rolls his eyes, resuming his harsh thrusts. you squeal, grabbing onto the blankets beneath you, “k-ken! i-if you don’t s-stop i’ll--”

“squirt?” he scoffs, eyes locked onto your cunt, watching the way you cream around him -- coating him in milky white every time he pulls out. you’re close. he can tell. you’re spasming deliciously around him, “go ahead then.”

you shake your head, “b-but the mess!”

“we’ll clean it up later, just cum,” he snaps, bringing his hand between your legs to work your clit, “stop holding back.”

“k-ken!” you cry, wrapping your hand around his wrist.

you stare at him with wide eyes, your mouth falling open as you dangle enticingly over the edge. it’s so close. your whole body is tense. it’s building...and building...and building.

until you finally explode with a breathless cry of his name.

you gush at first, your cum dripping down his balls before your squirt, drenching his cock and abdomen as he fucks you through your orgasm. your back is arched and you crying out sweet love confessions as you cum nice and hard for him.

— morisuke yaku.

≻ another one who loves to make you squirt

≻ but.......it’s usually a punishment

≻ you look so cute when you get embarrassed

≻ the way you cover your face shyly after he holds up his dripping hand for you to see ≻ makes you watch him lick his fingers clean of your cum

≻ he rlly only does it if you’ve been a brat or done something to tick him off

≻ so if u want to squirt, just send him some nudes while he’s work or smthn

“you think you’re cute, don’t you?” he snarls, giving your sensitive cunt a sharp slap, making you cry out in shock. it leaves a buzzing sensation in your clit that ran all the way down to your toes, “sending me pictures of your slutty little cunt while i’m in a meeting?”

“i-i’m sorry!” you gasp, eyes rolling back when he stuffs three fingers unforgivably into your pussy, giving you a sudden, burning stretch that had you panting, “i-i just needed you so...bad!”

he scoffs, angling his fingers upwards, pummeling that tender little spot in your upper wall, “oh yeah? if you’re really sorry then you’ll make a pretty mess all over my hand. then maybe i’ll forgive you and you can have my cock.”

you nod, squealing when he uses his other hand to thumb at your swollen clit, making your thighs tremble, “fuck! mori! ‘m gonna cum!”

he doesn’t say anything, just grins. his eyes are fixzated on your cunt, watching the way your hole swallows his fingers desperately. it’s almost as good a sight as watching you stretch to take his cock.

the thought of you being stuffed full of his cock has him throbbing in his shorts, “cum. right now. make a mess all over me or you get nothing.”

the threat is enough to send you over the edge, mouth falling open as you cry out his name. he groans through your orgasm, watching the way your juices splatter all the way up his forearm.

“messy girl!” he laughs, pulling his fingers out. he continues to play with your clit, encouraging a few more gushes of cum from your spasming little cunt, “i guess you deserve a reward for that, huh?”

-ˋˏ fukurodani ˎˊ-

— koutarou bokuto.

≻ makes you squirt constantly

≻ but not by choice

≻ he loves it but

≻ tbh he doesn’t actually know how he does it

≻ he just fucks you or fingers you and...you end up gushing around his fingers

≻ who is he to ruin what is such a great thing

you love sitting in his lap. he feels so big and strong when he holds you, keeping your legs spread so he can fuck two fingers into your cunt. your head is resting back on his shoulder as he whispers filth in your ear.

he tells you how you’re such a good girl, that you’re so tight around his fingers, you’re absolutely dripping. you’re his filthy baby and he loves you so much. he adores to make you feel good, how he wants you to cum.

your eyes roll back and cling to his arm, your legs trembling endlessly as you keep them completely spread for him.

“kou,” you pant, your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth as you call out to him.

“i know, puppy,” he whispers, kissing your temple, “i can feel you squeezing. you’re creaming all over my fingers, see?”

you look down and feel your cheeks burn at the mess you’re making on his hand. his cock is impossibly hard and pressing into your back.

“want you to cum for me, puppy,” he coos, hooking his chin over your shoulder to watch your cunt swallow his digits, “go on, give it to me, please?”

who are you to deny him? especially when he angles his fingertips expertly as he grinds his palm against your hard clit.

you spasm in his lap, crying out as you sob and gush all over his hand. he grins, fucking his fingers into you as fast as he can, deft flicks of his wrist that only serve to make you squirt even more until you’re positive there is a puddle on the floor beneath you.

you’re panting and twitching in aftershocks as he pulls out, popping his fingers in his mouth with a groan. your cum is sweet and savory on his tongue as he swallows it down.

he doesn’t know how he does it but he loves when you squirt like that for him.

— keiji akaashi.

≻ only makes you squirt by request

≻ he LOVES when you do

≻ but he never wants to make you squirt if you don’t outright want to

≻ he’s a gentleman after all

≻ sometimes he’ll ask you if it’s okay

≻ other time he waits for you to beg him, in that cute breathy voice if he can make you make a mess

≻ and what’s he gonna do? say no???

≻ as if.

you were so sweet, so pretty as you bashfully asking him if he can make you cum extra hard today. he knew what you meant, having learned your little looks and vague requests.

still, he asks, just to watch you squeak in embarrassment and hide your face in his chest if “you want me to make you squirt?”

but you nod, and he feels his cock get hard immediately.

having you on your back, your knees pressed against your cheek as he slowly rocks his cock into your tight little hole is how he loves you. you become a babbling, drooling mess for him so quickly all while gushing and creaming on his cock.

you drip down his balls, already such making a such a mess despite the fact he hasn’t even made you cum yet.

“what’s got you so worked up today?” he inquires, thumbing your clit, making you arch and gasp desperately, “you’re so wet. i’ve barely even done anything.”

you whimper, “i-i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

your confession comes easily and it makes his heart flutter. he smiles, pressing his lips against your calf, “yeah? my sweet girl.”

you keen, biting back a smile that promptly vanishes when he hits your sweet spot. you arch, trembling beneath him.

“y-you’re gonna make me cum!” you announce, “please keiji.”

he nods, finally speeding up his thrusts. he continues to thumb your swollen little bud, watching your cunt eagerly swallow him balls deep as you spasm and clench desperately around him. he works you to your high, teeth clenched.

when you finally fall over the edge, you squirt, forcing his cock from your hole. he rubs your clit with four fingers, forcing out every drop of cum your eager little cunt has to offer him until you reach down and stop him, muttering soft thanks and ‘i love you’s.

— akinori konoha.

≻ another one who loves to make you squirt

≻ some days he can do it some days he can’t

≻ it doesn’t matter if you don’t squirt tho, bc you still cum no worries

≻ he just loves the mess of when you do gush for him

≻ the way your moans change ever so slightly, getting embarrassed as you announce that you’re gonna make a mess for him

≻ truly, he could cum from that alone

“work your hips, just like that,” he orders, gripping your hips as he forces you to grind on him exactly how he wants.

you let him, knowing there’s no reason for you to fight him. he’s the one who can make you cum, he knows your body better than you. and you’re proven right when you feel him nail your sweet spot, making your whole body twitch at the stimulation.

you’re not bouncing, it’s a slow grind that stirs his cock against your tender walls. this isn’t about him, he’s working to get you off.

the squeezing of your cunt is enough to stimulate him but not nearly enough to make him cum. perfect.

especially for what he has in mind.

you’ve already caught onto his plan so you let him control your movements. your nails pinch into his bare chest but he doesn’t mind. you’re dripping down his balls, making a mess but he wants an even bigger one.

“c’mon, pretty girl,” he grunts, the way you clench around him at the pet name making his cock throb, “cum for me. i know you want to. go ahead and squirt for me.”

“m-my clit, please, aki,” you beg pathetically.

he grins and finds the hard, neglected little bud with his thumb. a few quick clicks to the button sends you flying over the edge. you push yourself onto your knees, his cock popping free as he continues to thumb your clit, watching as you squirt all over his cock.

he smiles, “i love when you do that.“

he pulls you into his arms and presses his lips against yours, reaching down to stuff his cock back into your oversensitive cunt.

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bts-trash-blog · 4 years

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Golden: Chapter 3~Badass

Summary: Watercolor splashes, and yet all that splashed on your skin was ink, while his was gold. Cold and warm. Sweet and sour. Love and lust. Yet it made so much sense..sadly he couldn’t see it.

Pariing: Min Yoongi X Chubby Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of depression, inscrurites, smut and some mentions of past toxic relationships. Just poor Yoongi tbh.

AN: Want to know when I update? I have a tag list! Also since tumblr deleted my original chapter and I had already cleared my ask box for this tag-list I’m sorry if you aren’t on it just ask again and I’ll make sure for chapter 4 I’ll add you! Again I’m sorry!

PREV ._. NEXT

Curled up on your bed, sad music playing in your headphones as you watch the rain hit against the building, watching the drops rundown your bedroom window. The sound of Hoseok coming home from work, made you try to silence your sniffles as you try to shuffle deeper into bed, ignoring the buzzing from ethier Namjoon or Jin. Both after Yoongi had run out, left with jaws dropped that quickly snapped shut as Jin moved to chance after Yoongi as Namjoon moved to sit next to you. You quickly lost your breath, and your mood went sour so you too got up and left, but not before Namjoon had promised he and Jin would ‘talk’ to your so called Soulmate.

Soulmate my ass. You thought as you whipped the tears that were resting on top of your cheek, a soft knock on your door made you shuffle and turn away from the entry of your room. Headphones slipping out, making you grunt as you toss them with your phone onto the floor, too annoyed at the world to even bother with them. When no answer from you came, Hoseok opened the door slowly, the sound making you bring the covers over your head as you hear his feet pad against the wood flooring.

“Y/n? I brought dinner...ladybug?” He asked, making you shuffle as you tried to fight a sniffle, but he still heard you as he stepped further into your room. “What's wrong?” He pushed as he sat down on your bed, letting out another sniffle as you let the tears start to fall again. Shaking your head, you felt his hand on top of your cafe as you tried to kick them away but your body felt weak. It felt broken. So you laid there fighting back a sob, till it came erupting out making Hoseok quickly move to wrap his arms around you, dragging you to lay against his chest as you let out heavy breaths. “Oh Y/n.” Your back pressed to his front as he tangled his legs with yours, his lips pressed to the back of your head as you heard him inhale, ready to exhale questions.

“Please don’t, I’ll just cry more.” Your words had him letting out a breathy chuckle as he tightened his hold around you, one of his hands moving down your arm. Hand lacing with yours as you brought it to your chest, kissing the knuckles of his fingers making him sigh as he brought his chin to the top of your head. “I hate soulmates.” Your words were mumbled as you closed our eyes, your body shivering as you heard him softly gaspe at you. You, the one person he’s known not to ever question the soulmate thing, the one who swore up and down that soulmates are the thing in the world that makes every bad thing worth it. You were the person who dreamed, and read about soulmates. Dreamed of one day being able to love someone, even if it was platonically, with every fiber in your being and it feeling just..just right. You made it sound so worth it, worth pain, worth the waiting. Yet the words you had just said, seemed to be so full of positivity it scared him. Your words scared him which made him shake his head as he looked down at the top of your head. There is no way you believed the words that just passed through your slightly chapped lips. No way.

“No you don’t.” He mumbled making you shake your head as you pushed away from him and sat up, your body resting against the headboard of your bed.

“Yes I do. I hate them. I hate the stupid red string of fate. I wish it wasn’t real. I wish it was all fake. I wish I didn’t have the university choosing someone for me. I hate them.” Pain. All that was laced with these words were pain, and it seemed to tunnel through his chest as well as he moved to sit up next to you kicking the sheets down away from the two of you. His body moving to sit criss crossed in front of you as his brown eyes stare at you, your knees pressed to your chest as you feel pain crave itself into your heart as you bury your face into your crossed arms. “Like why? Why are they a thing? Why are we made for someone who we’ve never seen, never met, never loved. I mean look at me, why would someone like me? Let alone love the idea that I’m somehow made for them. Like I look in the mirror some day and wonder why the fuck I’m made the way I am...and who would love me. And I fooled myself in thinking that someone out there is gonna love me. That they will hold me and paint my skin with their love, like my parents. But they see you and run away, not even trying to get to know past these fucking flaws. This fat ugly body. I wish I could’ve been born in a world where soulmates were a dream, and not the other way around, Hoseok.” You look up at him, sniffling as his hand reaches for yours that had fallen to the bed, his fingertips lacing with yours. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath in. “Why did they choses him for me, I thought that black ink color was so beautiful..I thought he thought the gold was beautiful on him too... But I should’ve known it was the sigh of rejection. Of this..this deadly pain. Why did the universe choose him for me?” His eyes blink open to stare at you, his eyes filling with his own tears as he gives you a frown.

“Cause, you are gonna be his everything one day. One day he’s gonna know every little thing about you. He’s gonna know how you are addicted to coffee and sour candy, and how you have this love for animals that goes far more than others. He’s gonna see the good and the bad in you and still smile. He’ll learn how to make you laugh, how to stop your tears. He’s gonna cause the greatest heart breaks in your life, and the most beautiful moments in your life. He is gonna be so lucky to even have every single ounce of your love, cause I know how lucky I am to just get the silver of the love you have.” he smiles at you, moving closer to cup your face making you look at him, glossed over eyes, red nose and chewed lips. “One day you’ll know everything about him, one day him running away will make sense to you. It’s not gonna hurt any less. But you’ll be able to forgive him, because you’ll know his smile. His laugh. Y/n, he’ll know you as nothing but the woman who loves him so passionately, so deeply that he knows he’ll be able to just fall into you and you’ll make sure to give him nothing but protection from the darkness around him. Do you know what being Gold means?” His question had you shaking your head as he chuckled, as he got up on his knees and pressed his forehead to yours before pulling away. “Gold..gold is the love that people dream of. It's like watching the sunrise after a gloomy day, it's that hug you get after a devastating day. It’s what your books you read about come from. To be someone's gold, it to be the air they breathe, the bed they sleep in and the one being in this world that they can tell their deepest secret too. Y/n you’re that person he dreams about when he needs to calm down. So don’t double yourself. Don’t throw away your idea of the red string of fate, cause you and I both know how worth this pain is gonna be, especially when you can finally call him yours.”

______________________________________________________________

Scrubs, the best pieces of clothing ever made. You swear by it, swear by them. Not only do they have so many pockets,more than you can count sometimes but the way they breathe has always made working long shifts easier. You were at the front, your head peeking over Joy's shoulder seeing the patient chart of the day, your fingers crossing, hoping for no walk-ins. Sighing you see Jimin walking to the still locked door as the clinic hasn’t opened yet, moving you open the glass door for him to be greeted with a brown small poodle in his arms. Your head tilts in confusion, as he hands you the dog, realization crosses your face as you look at your best friend with wide eyes as you pull the six month old male puppy closer to your chest.

“I forget to tell you didn’t I.” His eyes slightly wide, dark bags under them as he moves to the back, your body trailing after him as he places his stuff down in the break room. “She surrendered him, now I have a foster. He’s name is Holly.” Nodding you nuzzled your nose into the top of his head making him slightly brack at you, licking your cheek as you let out a giggle.

“He is adorable, how anyone could mistreat you or any little baby like you blows my mind.” You said, slipping into a baby voice making the poodle's tail start to rapidly wag as his body started to wiggle making you fight back a laugh as the head Vet came in, Minho. His eyes move to the puppy in your arms, and he smiles quickly moving to pat the top of his head as he looks at you.

“Busy day, and you are with me most of it.” Nodding you gave Holly back to Jimin, who was greeted with a wiggle amount of kiss making both you and Minho chuckle as the two of you leave the room. “We have three spays, a mass removal, and an eye removal scheduled for us today. Luckily we have Mina here today to pick up some of the other scheduled surgeries today as well. Bless that woman.” His eyes gleam at the mention of her, the memory of blues and teal hues painting across their skin had you thinking of the inky black. Thinking of Yoongi, and your thoughts slipped before you could stop them.

“I met my soulmate the other day.” Your word seemed to have made the still closed clinic freeze as you hear a gasp, and the sound of scuffing shoes making you look behind you to see Johnny had stumbled slightly from walking out of the bathroom. Your eyes widen as you press your hand to your mouth, processing that you had just outly admitted that you had indeed found the one.

“Holy shit...I’m sorry..does Jimin know?” Johnny says, making you shake your head slowly as you look at Minho. His lips parted as the chart in his hand slightly dropped. Johnny's smiles grow as he lets out a loud yes, making you giggle as he points to you. “I know something before that little shit! Finally!” Sighing you watch as he moves to the back making you shake your head as you turn back to Minho. A large smile on his face as he looks at you, his eyes closing for a second till he takes a deep breath and the two of you start walking to the first exam room when the sound of the door dinging entered your ears.

“Congratulations, I feel like it was just yesterday you were interning here to get your hours to pass your tech class. Now here you are, one of the best techs I’ve ever had and you're the first of my techs to find the one. I hope he treats you well.”

“Same here.” You said with an honest breath, your eyes closing when you hear it, the loud gasp and the sound of a cup slamming against a table.

“Y/n found her what, and told your dumbass before me? Yo little bitch get your fat ass over here! I just want to talk!” _____________________________________________________________

“Moon!” Jin said with a smile on his face as you walked into the coffee shop, a smile spreading on your face as he pulled you into a side hug. Chuckling as you slid into your chair, your hand rubbing the back of your neck, your scrubs slightly tightening as you moved. Looking you see soft caring eyes staring at you, his head tilted making you shake your head as he sat next to you. “I’m so sorry that he..I..I could beat his ass.” His words had your eyes widening as you grabbed his hand, making his closed eyes snap open as he stared at you. “He..he’s not a bad person just..I want you to find out things on your own but at the same time I need to at least let you know that it really isn’t it. He was with someone before and she..she literally tore him apart. He’s scared, and when he saw what color he put onto your skin seemed to make his fear worse..just know it isn’t you.” Smiling softly at the older male you squeezed his hand tighter.

“I get it I guess..I..I mean it made me feel like shit but I just have to think of the color I put onto his, its gold. I’m supposed to help him make his life golden, better, more positive. At least that's what I believe.” Your words had him shocked, as he pulled back and sat up straight, his smile growing as he looked at you.

“I’m so happy you said that. I was so scared, scared that you’d hold this over him. This fear of loving someone again.” He pauses as a boy brings a cup of black coffee out and sets it in front of you. His ash blonde hair falling in his eyes as he smiles at the two of you, as you take a sip you see a dark clad figure walk in. Your body seems to vibrate, making your eyes close as you place the mug down and look to Jin, his own eyes widening as he moves to get up. “You..just stay put.” Nodding you open your phone to distract you from the warm feeling spreading through your body, the shivers.

Taking a deep breath you hear hush whispers, and the clicking of someone typing on a laptop, laughter of a few friends and the sound of the espresso machine. Taking a deep breath you scroll through instagram, your other hand grasping the black hot mug. Hearing the scuffing of shoes, you look up to see downcasted coffee colored eyes. His hands dug deep into the pockets of his large coat, his ripped jeans showed just how thin his legs were making you slightly self conscious with how big yours were compared to his. Shaking your head you slip your phone into your scrub top pocket, he rocks a bit on his heel as you cast your eyes to the seat Jin was once in. He nods as he quickly sits down, your hand bringing the coffee up to your lips, sipping as you push a piece of your hair back behind your ear as he clears his throat.

“So..your name is Y/n?” His question made you nod as you let out a slightly cough as you look balck up to see Jin had set down another cup of coffee and a lemon cake for you making you smile at him.

“You're Yoongi?” You ask after watching the board man leave, he nods as he clears his throat again and pulls the mask he had resting around his face off as his hands move to run through his black hair. “I’m not mad..about what happened.” You blurted out, your eyes closing as you mess with the mug in front of you. “I mean it hurt me a little..no actually it hurt me a lot. But I’m not mad.” Looking up you see him staring at you with parted lips and wide eyes, his hair slightly messed up, making you want to reach up and fix it. Let out a breath, place your hand onto the table, palm up. His eyes cast down to it, your chubby fingers making his thin ones crave to hold them, touch them. The fire in him matching your own, so he falls into it. His breathing slightly speeds up as he lifts one of his hands, letting it fall into your plan, watching the sparkling gold color spread across his hand as you wrap your fingers around his hand. Watching the black ink spread across your skin, made a smile lift on your cheeks as he looked as if he was gonna run again making you tighten your grip.

“Why are you smiling? It looks like I’m gonna kill you.” He whispers making you shake your head, the gold color climbing up higher on his skin as the black ink fades out slightly at the end of your wrist.

“I like it. Make me feel badass.” Your words had his eyes closing as he smiles softly shaking his head as you now hear your new favorite sound, his chuckle, entered your ears. “I like that sound.” You mumble making his eyes shoot up, as his cheeks begin to dust with a soft pink color as he looks down at his coffee slipping his hand away from yours for a second as he takes a big gulp of coffee. His hand quickly snatching yours before you could slip it back into your lap.

“I like holding your hand...makes me feel badass too.” Smiling brightly at him, you rest your head against the palm of your free hand as you look at him, his eyes doing the same. Though they flickered down to your hands every few seconds, as if to see the color disappearing, fading. Clearing his throat you watch him shift a bit as he looks at you, his lips parting as he closes his eyes for a second then opening them up again. “Are you a nurse?”

“Oh uhh no, not for humans at least. I’m a vet tech.” You chuckle slightly at your own joke as you sit up, your hand slightly slipping from his making him tighten his grip on your hand.

“So you work with animals, that's cool. I..I make music.” He said, his eyes moving around as if trying to think about how to talk. You couldn't help but coo at his shy nature, his thumb moving to rub against the back of his hand as you look over to see Jin and Namjoons eyes on you. Rolling your eyes you look back to Yoongi and squeeze his hand and pull away.

“I’m gonna pay for our coffees, then we can go on a walk so those two,” You pauses as the two of you look at your idiot friends, “Don’t eavesdrop, and scare us.” Your words had him chuckling till he registered that you were gonna pay, making him shoot up and grab your arm gently.

“I can pay.”

“You have a lift time to pay for things for me. Let me do it first.” Your words were soft, his eyes wide in shock as he nodded, his head looking downward as you moved to the front and pulled your card out. Paying , you see Jin smirking as Namjoon chuckles as he swipes your card. “Stop laughing, not funny.”

“No but its fucking cute.” Namjoon said, making you roll your eyes as you shake your head, turning around you walk back up to the black haired man as you lace your fingers with his.

“Where too?” he asks, making you smile brightly at him , though nervousness is hidden deep in his eyes as he looks around and up to the cloudy sky. You couldn’t help but swing your hand as you left the coffee shop.

“Anywhere as long as it's with you.”

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@mirror-juliet @heartblackerthancoffee @4evahevah @dariangarcia

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zirkkun · 3 years

Text

I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

#zircon rambles #a lot #lol #its very long im sorry #i spent way too long writing this too #also please don't reblog this

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yourpakichic · 4 years

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Episode 11 thoughts ⁃ A hand hold and a cheek kiss all within the opening scene? Someone call me an ambulance cause I’m dead. Also peep that smug smile on Serkan’s face after grabbing her hand. Sir sit down, you are already doing too much! That’s the most natural skinship scene I’ve seen between these two. Serkan has always looked a little bit uncomfortable with hand holding and other things but that was just so natural and just flowed! ⁃ The lyrics of that song and their expressions throughout were absolute perfection! ⁃ Gosh I really have a love and hate relationship with Aydan. She keeps pushing Selin and Serkan to be together I’m like so over it but on the other hand, she’s had such sweet and heartbreaking scenes and moments and my heart goes out to her. I know she’s a complex character and I love that about her but it’s also so frustrating to watch. ⁃ The similarities and contrasts in Eda/Ceren and Serkan/Engin conversation were so cute. The way Eda is so hopeful and Serkan is still in denial, like y’all need to get it together! Ceren being very straight about Serkan and Eda’s journey and feelings while Engin uses reverse psychology to get Serkan to understand was interesting cause being straight with Serkan never works out. ⁃ Serkan gets his pettiness, attitude, and jealousy tendencies from Aydan and no one can tell me otherwise. ⁃ I will forever love and cherish scenes where he comes to pick her up/drop her off. They might be the smallest scenes but they are the true evidence of their chemistry/attraction. Not to mention they always are witty and playful and shows the way their conversations flow and the little hints of magic their words contain! ⁃ So the grandmother is Ayfer’s mother and clearly they blame her for, I’m assuming, Eda’s parents death which is why they have kept their distance. But from the call Ayfer made, it seems that the grandmother still loves and cares for Ayfer and Eda and will do anything for them. Her entry will absolutely change everything for the family and Serkan/Eda as well! ⁃ “You never worked for me, Eda Yildiz.” Those words. I had to pause and just think. Serkan never considered Eda as his subordinate. She was his equal. To him, she was always a free bird. To come and go as she pleases. He never could or will cage her and I think that is absolutely beautiful and powerful. He acknowledges and accepts her carefree nature and presence and understands that she will fly as she pleases. For Eda, that freedom is necessary and core of her being. To be limited was never Eda’s style. So can you imagine? Being in a relationship where you have complete freedom to be what and who you are without any hesitation with a man who appreciates and loves your talent/knowledge and is always supportive of your endeavors. And that too with Serkan Bolat who has a controlling nature and being. Just need a moment to process that. ⁃ THAT IS GOING TO BE THEIR HOUSE. I’m calling it now. The show NEEDS to end with them in that house with their two robot-like children playing in garden designed by Eda and them over looking that beautiful view from their bedroom. ⁃ Serkan going FULL PANIC over Eda leaving and telling Engin to make her offer was the most pleasing to my eyes. That man out here creating a crisis over this. ⁃ The defeat in his eyes when she tells him to leave her alone. ⁃ Eda claiming her man in front of Selin was top notch! She said girl, I can take care of my man, no need for you. ⁃ The entire Serkan’s sickness scene was just heartbreaking. We knew Serkan had a tragic past and was still suffering because of it but to find out about his trauma was just... I have no words. To be so young, sent away abroad without knowledge about your brother, away from your family. To be left alone so young to grow and work through your trauma all by yourself. No wonder he doesn’t trust anyone. No wonder he doesn’t let anyone in. His own parents abandoned him so young, how is he supposed to rely on anyone else . And he has clearly internalized everything really deep. It’s one thing to have traumatic childhood experiences, but in Serkan’s case, he never worked through it at all. And now as an adult, due to that fact, it manifests itself into actual physical sickness. I literally just wanna give him a hug and make all his problems go away. ⁃ One more thing on this scene, one of my favorite things about their relationship is that despite their differences and previous conflicts, Eda and Serkan can both be easily open and vulnerable with each other when the other needs it. Just how they were sad/angry at the office early, but Eda came to take care of him and not only that, they had a conversation and were so open with each other as they read from the book. To have that openness with someone is just absolutely precious. ⁃ NOT THE WAKING UP WITH EACH OTHER SCENE I WANTED. I DESERVE BETTER! ⁃ Okay. That’s it. I’m never forgiving Aydan for breaking Eda’s heart like that. After everything Eda has done, she deserved to be said goodbye to properly. She made my girl cry after getting what she wants from her. I hope Ayfer goes in on her as their relationship progresses. ⁃ I FUCKING HAD A FEELING LAST WEEK AND THE FACT THAT AND THEY JUST CONFIRMED IT. So last week when we found out about Eda’s parents death, Serkan’s face reaction made a small little voice inside my head go “that’s gonna be related to their relationship and be an obstacle in some way” BUT I DID NOT EXPECT IT TO BE TRUE LIKE THIS! Alptekin is responsible for Eda’s parents death. That is going to be the breaking point for these Eda/Serkan. Serkan already has issues with Alptekin but this is gonna push him over the edge. Also, I do not like the fact Ferit has this vital information. At this moment, I absolutely do not trust Ferit. ⁃ That was Ferit’s breaking point. Being left all alone while prepping for the wedding. I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna go through the wedding and he will blame Serkan for that I can already tell he’s gonna use his position as a shareholder and the secret about Eda’s parents to destroy Serkan. Not to mention, he’s probably gonna find a way to use the fact that Eda covered for him and Selin about the contract leaking to create a conflict. And here I was thinking Kaan would be our biggest problem. ⁃ THAT FINAL SCENE WAS ICONIC AND EVERYTHING. I don’t think they could’ve chosen a more EdSer style to do the confession! After everything they’ve been through and the situation, it would’ve been totally weird to have a sweet, slow confession (yet at least). The arguing, the sunset, the slight hint of humor WERE ABSOLUTE PERFECT DIRECTION FOR THIS CONFESSION! the way he stopped the cab, got her suitcase, straight up told her to not go like multiple times and then said those magic words we’ve been dying to hear AND THEN GRABBED HER AND KISSED HER! Perfection. Just literally got goosebumps and was giggling like a child throughout it!

Overall: THEY ARE OFFICIALLY TOGETHER. That is literally all that matters in the end. Hands off to Kerem and Hande for their amazing acting and expressions, cause this episode was strong solely due to their performance. There was no room for weakness or downplaying any emotion, and man did they deliver every line and every emotion absolutely perfect. We’re finally onto the next phase, which will be going through conflicts and working through family issues which is going to very exciting but also filled with angst. As per the 2 previews, the next episode seems to have a lot to offer: their romantic scenes, the bolats learning about Eda, Ayfer confronting Serkan, and of course Selin/Ferit wedding. Tbh, I am no nervous for this next part because how they choose to handle Serkan/Eda and portray their relationship at this new starting point is so important in solidifying their bond and their love.

I’m going to be mess until all these issues resolve and I already don’t have good coping mechanisms!

#sen cal kapimi #hande erçel #kerem bürsin #eda yildiz #serkan bolat #knock on my door #edser #turkish dizi #I literally am not going to survive the next couple of episodes #sen çal kapımı

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hyanikaa · 3 years

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Chapter 1 • The Secret is Out

So I created an AU where Memey’s cookie monster suit/onesie is possessed by a demon.

My friend Carrot helped me with this fic, go give them a like and follow on IG

WARNING//(Gore, Violence)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

——

Blaza ruffles out of the crowd that gathered around Laff and Socks and noticed Memey panicking. He walked over to the blue man and grabbed a chair to sit on. “Memey, what happened?” Blaza said, his voice dead serious, it’s wasnt like Blaza to be dead serious about things, so his voice sent chills into Memey’s spine. “I don’t know..” He stiffened, “I actually don’t know- I was just here in Medbay, working..” he trailed off, voice shaking “I don’t remember eating them..” he choked a quiet sob. “How could you not remember such a... vital time stamp?” Blaza asked, still holding a dead serious tone. There was a slight quiver in it as Blaza started to lose his composure after glancing at the clueless Laff. “I-I’m not sure, one moment I’m in the Medbay and the next I’m-“ Memey cut off his sentence. He couldn’t finish it.

“Oh my god, oh my god-“ Socks held onto everything around him for dear life, like the world was about to tumble down around him. He whimpered at the digging pain in his stomach but still sat in the same position, his eyes wide and cautious. “Woah, woah, calm down S-“ Dino started, reaching their hand to Socks only to have it smacked away. “...no, no, I’m sorry, I just...” Socks’ chest rose and fell quickly like a guinea pig sitting still in fear. “What’s bothering you?” Dino asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention from the crowd. Socks did not respond in words, instead he let out sob, holding onto his arm as he remembered the pain that struck him when it got ripped off. “Im sorry.” He let out, hugging himself.

Nadwe burst into the room, holding onto the door frame for support as he caught his breath. Socks let out a loud yelp from the noise before calming down and hugging himself again. “Oh... my god...” Nadwe breathed out, letting out a final long breath before standing up straight. “I’m so sorry I’m late. The doors to electrical and storage shut.” He immediately read the room and looked towards Blaza for help. “...it’s not good. Me and Dino walked up on... Memey. Uhm...” Blaza stuttered, trying to keep it down. “Memey was... eating Laff and Socks... Laff doesn’t remember but...” Blaza glanced over at Socks. “Socks clearly does. Memey doesn’t remember either. Once their bodies have fully regenerated we have to discuss this.” Nadwe absorbed the words and quickly stiffened. Blaza swore you could hear the gears turning in his head. “...I’ll go talk to Laff. You guys sort things out.. yeah...” Nadwe trailed off before tipping both of his hats as a goodbye and walking towards Laff’s medbay bed.

Nadwe sat down beside Laff, “How are you holding up?” He asked. “I dunno mate, I was just walkin down to electric an then I woke up here.” Laff replied, looking around the room then at Nadwe then his hands. “Nadwe...” Laff started, “Hm?” “Is it normal, to feel agonizing pain like you’re bein’ eaten, even if you’re not?” He asked, looking at Nadwe with desperate eyes that wanted answers. His eyes widened at his question, holding his hand up his mouth, he knows what Laff meant, Blaza told him what has happened. But he felt guilt clawing at him for not telling the whole picture. He just sat there, lowering his hand, “I don’t know Laff...”

“Socks, calm down!” Dino said, almost a hint of begging in his tone. “Please, please! Socks...” Dino almost started to cry themselves. Seeing Socks in the shocked state hurt Dino’s heart on a level that couldn’t be described. Socks closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to forget the gnawing sensation in his arm. “I-I’m sorry, Dino. It’s just.. a lot.” Dino nodded and quickly placed their hands on the sheets of the bed, eyeing the wound before opening their mouth to talk. “After you and Laff have recovered, i think we still have to... discuss it in the cafeteria. Are you going to be okay...?” Socks sat straighter, contemplating in his mind of the scenes that could play out. “I-I should be okay. It’s fine, I’ll be fine. I just...” Socks looked down on his bandages hands. “Can’t look at him right now.”

Days passed and the two were now physically healed, though that incident left them psychologically scarred, not just them, but also to Blaza and the others that saw the incident first hand. It terrified them, was that really Memey? What happened? These questions and many more invade their thoughts like wildfires. But those questions will now be answered, right? Memey will explain what that thing was, right?

They all gathered around the table in Cafeteria. Socks was with TBH who was supporting him, was his leg injured? surely not. Laff was already in Cafe before the others could arrive, how did he get there without supervision? Once a everyone was there, silence filled the room, it was deafening. Why did no one wanted to talk? Why were they so silent—

Blaza cleared his throat, breaking the silence. It wasnt like him to start the discussion, it wasnt like him to be serious and not even break a smile. He didnt. “So, I think we all know why we’re here.” He stated. Everyone turned their gaze to Memey except for Socks, who looked down at the cafeteria floor. “Memey...” Oompa asked, the eye on his head turned towards him in curiosity. Oompa had been in Navigation and hadn’t heard of the attack until much later. Memey sighed and looked across the table to Socks, who didn’t look up. “I-“ Memey started, feeling a lump in his throat. “I’m... not sure what happened...” he gulped as the pressure tensed. He took a moment to think. “You’re not sure what happened...” came a small voice. Socks looked up and slammed his fists on the table, shaking a few of the old drinks over. “YOU’RE NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.” Socks let out a crazed laugh before standing up. “You almost KILLED ME. YOU almost ATE ME. SCRATCH THAT, YOU DID EAT ME. IF BLAZA AND DINO HADN’T COME, LAFF AND I WOULDN’T BE HERE RIGHT NOW. AND ALL YOI HAVE TO SAY IS YOU’RE NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.”

Memey’s face paled at Socks’ statement, he’s right, he did eat them, he did. But why can’t he remember? Why can’t he remember meeting Socks in the hallway between Storage and Lower Engine? Why does his head hurt when he tries to remember? Why does everything hurt— Memey block his ears with his hands, pain clawing and screaming in his head, he shrank down from the meeting as he submerged himself into his thoughts. His eyes started watering as the pain get more and more out of hand. “Shut up...” He quietly said. Socks watched as Memey covered his ears, shaking and shrinking to the table. Memey muttered something. “What?” Laff asked, trying to pull Socks back into the seat. “SHUT UP!!” Memey screamed, still covering his ears. He looked desperately at the people around him, pressing his hands tighter as the voices screamed louder with each look of dismay. He let go of one hand and wiped the tears pouring from his eyes, hearing a tight, high pitched note as the voices screamed into the ear. He quickly escaped the cafeteria, making his way to the left side of the ship and hiding in the corner of reactor.

“The hell of a discussion that was,” Oompa said, getting up and slightly looking at the red button in the middle of the table. “I’ll go find Memey. You guys...” he looked at Socks, who started taking in more shaky breaths. “You guys calm down Socks.” Memey crouched down behind the engine on the top part of the ship, he’s tired, he’s drained from the joyful tone he always had. “What wrong?” It asked, “Oh so now you’re here?!...” Memey hissed at it, it stayed quiet for a bit, “Was not cookie?..” he snapped. “OH SO THAT WAS YOUR DOING?!” Memey said, totally enraged by the thing, “I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA GET YOUR COOKIES AFTER I REST- BUT YOU DIDNT LITSEN- YOU STILL WENT OUT TO LOOK FOR ONE, AND NOW LOOK AT MY SITUATION!!!” He vented out, calling the demon hurtful things, it felt guilty for not waiting, it dragged it’s host into a situation that could have been avoided.

“Memey? Was that you?..” Oompa called from the hallway. Peeking from the front of the engine, his eyes widened as he backed away, “You’re not MemeGod...” he quietly said as slowly went to grab his gun. “Cookie?...”

——

Socks huffed as he felt his confidence dwindle and his strength deplete. He dropped down into his seat and wiped his eyes, anger pushing more tears down his face. “Socks...” Laff started, placing a comforting hand on his arm. “It’s so stupid. It’s all so stupid,” Socks whimpered. “God, It’s all so DUMB. It’s just so...” Socks let out another sob, covering his face with both hands. “After all the pain of being ripped apart, eaten alive, all Memey has to say is... I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?” Laff looked towards Blaza for words. “Socks, you know that wasn’t him. He couldn’t have done it purposefully. He wouldn’t. You and I both know that.” Blaza finally gave a small grin. “You and I both know the stupid FatMemeGod. He wouldn’t do that.” Socks listened and didn’t respond. He knew this was one of the rare times that Blaza was right. Memey would never do that.

“But...” Socks started. “If that wasn’t Memey...”

“Then who was it...?”

“NO STOP-“ a scream was heard from upper engine, they all looked at eachother, worry plastered all over their faces, they got up from theirs and bolted towards the origin of the noise.

They weren’t prepared, they weren’t prepared to see this. Oompa was knocked out, head bleeding. And beside him was Memey, or was it actually Memey?...

He was screaming, he was rejecting and refusing, he was jerking and kicking himself, pulling the hood of his onesie away from his face. Why is he pulling it away? “LET GO!-“ Memey painfully screamed as the demon took over its host, the hood closing shut. It stood up from the cold ground he was sitting on and shook off the blood on its hands. Memey? seemed taller, this isnt him. Who is it? Why was Memey refusing? Why was he screaming.

The tall figure spoke, “Memey friend?...” (help me). The two voices overlapped, but it was clear the two said different things.

“Oompa!!” Blaza yelled, running over to the bleeding figure on the floor. “BLAZA!!” Nadwe yelled as the creature took a step towards the two. Nadwe rammed himself into the creature and watched as the originally derpy eyes turned sinister and creeper. However, this creature had double— no, triple— the strength of Memey. It quickly overtook Nadwe and slammed him onto the ground, leaving him pushing the wrists upwards and the creature snapping its jaws at his head. Socks quickly pulled Memey off of Nadwe, helping him up. The creature roared in frustration. The space that held Oompa and Blaza was empty. They’d escaped, but the ship was only so big. It all happened in slow motion. Nadwe swung Socks around and switched positions with him, tanking a large crunch down on his right shoulder blade. “AHH!!” Nadwe yelled as a loud crack was heard from the bone splitting under the pressure. His hats dropped to the floor as he tried to escape the monster’s grasp. "You hurt Memey..." It said, it's voice rough from underuse. "Why did you hurt Memey?!" it grip tightens on Nadwe as it screeched multiple questions at the two. Socks ran into Medbay and grabbed a fire extinguisher, he rushed back into the area, screaming his anger as he slammed the extinguisher into the tall figure's head. Knocking it unconscious. Nadwe let out a weak noise on the floor choking for air as the blood form his shoulder began to pool. The mouth of the monster cranked open, exposing an unconscious Memey inside with a bleeding head. Socks huffed a bit to catch his breath, setting down the fire extinguisher. Tbh didn’t hesitate and picked up Nadwe, setting him on his back. He lifted Memey up as well and quickly darted towards medbay. To his surprise, Blaza and Oompa were nowhere in sight. “Socks,” Tbh called, quickly looking back into the room. “Go look for Blaza and Oompa. Where’s Laff, that kid??” Socks darted down the halls as Tbh set down Nadwe and Memey. He quickly pulled out a roll of bandages and tried his best to wrap the bandage around Memey’s head, moving aside the hood with surprising ease. Seems like the onesie also wants Memey healed as well. Tbh turned his attention to Nadwe’s shattered shoulder. Socks eventually found Blaza and Oompa in Admin. Socks peeked from the door, “There you guys are..” Socks huffed, relieved they weren’t that injured. “How’s Oompa?..” “Not good..” he replied, putting his hand onto Oompa’s neck to find a pulse. “Is he still breathing?...” Socks worriedly asked, “...” “What?..” “I can’t feel any pulse..” “oh god...”

Socks rushed towards the two, he’s desperate, he’s not used to experiencing any violence first hand, he’s scared, he doesn’t want to experience a death of friend first hand. But he did. Oompa laid limp on the floor where Blaza placed him, there was no sign of life, he died..

——

The two went back to Medbay, when the scanner started beeping, creating high pitched sounds that hurt TBH’s and Nadwe’s hearing. Nadwe leaned up from the bed, moving carefully trying not to disturb TBH who was patching his wounds. “What-“ he was cut off as a loud choked scream was heard as the scanner stopped screeching.

Oompa dropped to the ground, coughing up air as he suddenly regains his life. “A-alive... holy crap... I’m alive...” Oompa gasped, clutching his heart as a fin reminder that his life lives on. Socks tackled Oompa in a hug, slurring words together as worry and relief washed over the two of them. “Im so surprised!! I thought you’d died!!” Socks yelled, hugging Oompa tightly. “You and me both...” Oompa hugged back and looked up at Blaza, who let out a sigh of relief. Oompa patted his heart twice and a thumbs up, reassuring Blaza from afar that he was okay. Oompa coughed and spat more blood. “Shoot... the medbay scan doesn’t quite heal large wounds...” Oompa said, his grip getting loose as blood continued to pour down his head. Socks quickly helped Oompa to a bed and took another roll of bandages, beginning to wrap it slowly around the wound. Nadwe sighed in relief as Tbh finally finished putting his shoulder blade back in place. “Nadwe, you’re so stupid,” Socks said, sitting down and pouting.

“What...happened?..” Memey said as he sat up from the bed, he flinched at the burning pain that scattered around his body. Looks like him kicking and banging himself into the ground and walls did a toll on him. “Glad your awake MemeGod.” “That is so unlike you to be nice Oompa- ow-“ his head still hurts.

“Mind telling us what happened back there?” Blaza asked.

#MonsterCookie au #fanfic #angst #fluff #blaza #its blaza #blaza plays #meme #fatmemegod #laff #laffengas #socksfor1 #nadwe #oompa #dino but b #tbhonest #cookie

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