#saw this post in my drafts and decided to finish it
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in game i dont think spamton would be able to comfort anybody due to fixating on his own traumas (and often projecting its own insecurities on other people as a result) but even in a therapy setting I feel spamton would still have trouble. Like, especially in afttp after learning healthier coping mechanisms i can see spamton wanting to help people (the other addisons in particular, especially sam) but not knowing how to—especially with words. Spamton isn’t good with finding the right words, so instead tries to help through its actions. The thing is, I don’t think Spamton would know what right actions to take either, and when they think abt comforting someone Spam thinks abt distracting them from the problem (because I imagine that’s also what he does by force of habit—distracting and pushing away its own problems) but instead of projecting and talking abt himself like before Spamton tries to take them somewhere or do something they enjoy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, yet spam is learning.
#spamton#spamtonposting#afttp au#afttp#addsforthetherapeutic#even pre big shot days i dont think spam had much empathy#but in my mind was sympathetic + very compassionate#so in a contemporary context i feel the more spam rebuilds its friendship and trust w/ the addisons#The more they start to care abt the adds#Like how they used to#But conversely spamton also has a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms so its difficult#but they get better little by little at the months progress#its a bit of a contrast to sam who i imagine has high empathy#but spends a lot of time worrying abt other ppl that he forgets to take care of himself#which is a good thing theyre all in group therapy so the adds can talk abt this sorta stuff with each other and try to work it out#addisons#addisonposting#from my drafts#saw this post in my drafts and decided to finish it
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bro i'm actually fuckin crying
i was having anxiety the entire night over more random people from the other blog pulling up in my inbox and harassing me over shit i've already explained, but i woke up to like 4 messages and all rather wholesome and aren't accusing me
the fact that i haven't cried a single fuckin time the past 1-2 weeks of me knowing about this bullshit and just bottled it all up- and it just all comes all crashing the fuck down after seeing the sudden overwhelming support of people that actually read and understand context
it's literally only 6am here and i'm bawling my eyes out
i love every single one of you who isn't blindly jumping in on the fuckin hate train i wasn't even supposed to know about :'D
will be responding to them once i'm back in my room after school! fghfndghdfg already read through them tho, but i gotta go in a bit and can't type it all out hgfdgnfdhgnhdfg
#emelin qna#esau qna#been practically crying for an entire hour at this point#the entire fucking time i felt like the only ones defending me were my friends i talked in vc with#and they all got pissed the more we saw of this#like we talked about the entire thing since the start and i was even going to post an entire response to the first vague rant#to clarify things and tag the blog involved since they didn't tag me#i literally still have the entire finished response in my drafts#but then the 2nd rant dropped and i saw how many people were just randomly agreeing with them fully#even when you could literally tell they never even investigated anything themselves#even people that used to interact with me decided to blindly join in#again- without anyone telling me about it even happening#and they're probably still looking for excuses to rant on me about “pedophilia” and “slaves” when i've literally already clarified shit#which is why i said that at this point the topic has hit a brickwall#cuz at this point they're just invalidating my own points just so they get more validation themselves
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ellie with a mean gf!
(prjoecting like a mf rn...)
a/n - i have been very unmotivated to write full-fleshed stuff so i'm deciding to write drabbles/headcannons for now. also THANK YOU FOR ALL THE ATTENTION ON CH.1 OF GOOD LUCK, BABE! it makes my heart smile that you guys love it so much... also😭😭...: @sweetcici11 srry that i lied and said ur fic would be out a few nights ago. i'm really trying to finish it but i don't want to rush it and it be shitty. i really want it to be enjoyable and as good as it can be. but i PROMISE you it WILL be posted... sooner or later! i also have a few more drafts to finish too, so, i hope you guys like them when they come out!!!!!
content warnings - fluff, i'm a bitch and i want to feel loved and think that someone can put up with my cuntiness😝😝 , over-usage of commas probably, i think they're low-key kind of toxic?!?!?!?! , guys i promise i'm not this bad i've just been pretty insufferable these last few days and need an outlet 😭😭 .
i wrote way more than i thought i was going to...
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- you both hated each other at first. ...well actually, you hated her, and she was like, "😞😞" and then got used to it after a while and started being mean back 2 u!!
- dina introduced ellie to you when you both were hanging out with her. "you guys are going to love each other🥰!" ... you didn't 🤗 !
- ellie said hi to you and all you did was look her up and down, stare at her for a few seconds and then turn your head.
- everytime ellie would (attempt to) strike up a conversation you would give an overtly enthusiastic response or just stare at her like she had two heads or just blatantly ignore her. dina is over there like, '😟😟 . can we not have one good day...' when dina would leave for short periods of time and ellie was sure that you didn't like her, she would just talk about anything to get your blood boiling, our girl lllloooovvveessss to push buttons, we know this to be true.
- it got worse yet more tolerable after that. whenever she'd see you at gatherings or parties, you'd do your damnest to stay away from/avoid her. and she'd do her damnest to get you as upset with her as possible. it always ended with not-so-playful not-so-friendly banter!
- you were talking with jesse about something on the couch, and ellie came over and DELIBERATELY, DELIBERATELY... interrupted you 🤗 ! :
you shoot daggers at her face with your eyes, your jaw set hard and your eyes narrowed.
ellie tried to feign innocence, raising a brow at you after she looked over to see your facial expressions long after she felt them.. "what are you looking at me like that for🤨🤨?" , "i was fucking talking, you're being rude." , "if i have to get used to you being a bitch, you got to do the same." , you just huffed at her response and crossed your arms before walking off a few minutes after, realizing that the conversation you were having with jesse earlier was indeed over. ellie smirked to herself, victory was her's!
- she started calling you the nickname brat out of the blue... it blindsided tf out of you. here's the origin story!:
you look at ellie with a disgusted look on your face as she exhales smoke. her glazed over eyes meet yours before she offers the joint to you, out of genuine kindness. "want a hit?" she asked, forgetting how much of a bitch you were for, like, 0.2 seconds. you glare at her for a moment longer before plastering a sarcastic smile on your face, snatching the joint from her fingertips and dropping it onto the floor. you kept her eyes on yours as you stomped and smushed it into the ground.
now she remembered.
she stood up instantaneously, she was pissed. "what the fuck?!" she shouted, earning a few looks from some friends across the room. they strained their necks for a little bit before they saw you, it made sense now, and then turned back to the conversation.
you close your eyes for a slight second as a satisfied smile graced the corners of your lips. "you know i don't smoke, ellie." you responded with in a condescendingly sweet voice.
she didn't even argue with you. "you're such a fuckin' brat." she muttered under her breath before walking away. you had to try your very best to ignore the heartbeat in your pussy. (🤗!)
- she didn't get to see how much effect that title had on you that night, but she noticed afterwards.
- one time you didn't say anything to ellie during a hangout, distracted by someone you disliked more than her. ellie kind of missed it☹️☹️ .
you were brought out of your thoughts when you felt her cold hand touch your shoulder. when you noticed it was her who was doing it, you pulled back with a furrow of her brows. ellie smiled. there she was.
"you haven't said one mean thing to me since i've gotten here. are you dying?"
you scoffed as you pointed in the direction your anger was radiating from. it was a girl ellie saw here and there in jackson, sometimes she was paired with her during patrols, she wasn't crazy about her but she paid no mind to her existence.
"what?- what does this have to do with me-"
"what it has to do with you, is that you should feel honored that i can tolerate you... can't fuckin' stand that bitch."
ellie scoffed before speaking up once more, "oh, c'mon you're being dramatic. don't be a brat."
your eyes went wide for a second and as you turned away, she could see the cheek that was facing her turn an embarrassing shade of red. she found your weakness.
- when you guys started dating, no one, and i mean NO ONE, believed it. (i don't feel like writing how u two got together maybe if y'all like this enough i'll make a full-fleshed oneshot abt it😭.)
- joel saw you guys together... like, not arguing, and HER head on YOUR shoulder... he thought he got laced with acid for a quick second there... jesse felt like he missed a couple chapters and felt very sad that he hadn't caught onto it quicker... and dina was so proud of herself, "told you, you guys would love each other 😁." she's so smug, I LOVE HER!
- she constantly has to reprimand you like you're a child when you guys are around someone you obviously don't like for whatever reason. once whoever left the room, ellie'll pinch your shoulder or your thigh, whatever skin is on display at the moment, not too hard, just to get you to wince a bit. you'll make a face at her afterwards. "ow, what the fuck was that for ellie?" , "we can talk shit when we get home, don't make a scene🙄." you stress her out sometimes...
- just bcs you guys are together DOES NOT mean your attitude has gone away.
whenever ellie and you have gotten in an argument, you're always being extra sarcastic and EXTRA BITCHY just to get on her nerves.
"baby, have you seen my gun?" she asks you, breaking the silence voluntarily as she's two minutes from being late to patrol.
you don't look up to her, you keep on looking at the pages of an old magazine. "idk ellie, did you check to see if it was shoved up your ass."
she just stands there for a second like this 🧍♀️ , before sighing and walking somewhere else to find it. "i'll fuckin' deal with you later." she mutters under her breath, obviously annoyed. you smirk to yourself as you flip another page.
- she does love, however, that you've gotten gentler with her since the relationship blossomed between you two. very few people (dina and ellie... sometimes jesse.) can get you to stop, and ellie is proud of herself that she could add beast-tamer to the top of her list of many skills and talents.
- sometimes she has to calm you down, sometimes all it takes is a stare in your direction. ... well, it's oftentimes a glare... you're your own woman/person and a relationship will not restrict you from showing off your talents!!!!!
- ellie has to constantly keep you from getting into arguments that could harm you physically. although your craft of bitchery is amazing, you can't fight to save your life.
she'll be pulling you back like an angry barking dog on a leash.
"i could've fucking took h-" , "you overestimate yourself a lot, baby."
#ani's ellie🎀#ellie x dina#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x abby#ellie the last of us#ellabs#ellie williams smut#ellie williams#ellie tlou#dina tlou#dina woodward#tlou art#tlou2#joel tlou#tlou#jesse tlou#dina x reader#dina x fem reader#dina x you#dina x ellie#dina x y/n#joel miller#🎀 ani's writing 🖊📚#abby tlou#abby anderson smut#abby anderson x reader#ellabs x reader#abby anderson#abby anderson fic
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Size Kink
✨️Kink Education with Elizabeth✨️
A Size Kink is a general term for being aroused by being smaller/larger than your partner. It can be height, muscle mass/weight in general, cock size, ect. This is generally a kink we associate with subs having, but in my humble 5'1" experience, I've met more Doms with this kink than subs (hence my 5'11" baby daddy who thought he'd never have someone short enough to enjoy this kink with.) This kink has several subgroups that fall into it and sex acts that fall into it, but my personal favorite to write is height difference and body frame difference. So tall muscular male, short female (curvy or lean.)
What I love about size kinks is that it's so focused on specific aspects, and ANY body type gets to play with it. Little hands? Little legs? Luscious curves? Member of the Itty bitty titty committee? There is someone out there with a size Kink who is into your body and thinks you are a piece of artwork and sexiest thing on the planet. It's so beautiful because it is a body type kink that does not discriminate, and as a sex positive and body image positive person, I think that's super important and comforting for some people.
💕Peep the Valentines Day list here💕
As always NSFW below the cut
Azriel x short!reader
Warnings - reader is VERY petite, smut, p in v, slow stretching
A/N - So, I actually have a request for a size Kink with Cassian sitting in my drafts as well from before I decided to do Valentines Day Bingo. Since I picture Cassian as an absolute unit, I used a more Megan thee Stallion vibe for that reader (tall and thick) so I decided to go very short and thinner built for this one to ensure they'd be different. I apologize if that bothers anyone. I will try to get that Cassian request finished asap to post it and make up for this 💙
Ps- with how quickly I am cranking some of these out, and how.... spicy some of them are getting, I don't have my normal outside editing all of the time. Baby daddy proof read this one. Before staring at me and going, "that wasn't fair." So, I apologize for any errors, as always, I will catch them on my fresh reread after it's posted 🫠
Azriel was slowly losing his mind as he watched you use a chair to be closer to Cassian's height and argue with him face to face.
You were just so… small. So little compared to the two Illyrian males. They towered over you. They dwarfed you. Hell, he and Cass had discussed several times how easy you'd be to manhandle, considering they were both so sure their large hands could almost touch if they were wrapped around your waist.
At 6’8” and 7’ it wasn't hard for him and Cassian to own a room or be the tallest males, but Gods when Azriel stood next to your 5’ frame, when he saw Cassian pick you up like you were no more than a doll. It did something to him. It made him feel like a God, like he was powerful, possibly invincible.
He had been further spurred on by over hearing you and Nesta yesterday. She had asked you about how, if the opportunity presented itself, you would manage to fuck an Illyrian, and you, you with your never back down attitude had told Ness, “Mountains were made to be climbed.” He did not know if you had meant that in regards to him, but his hand found his cock quickly that night.
Azriel walked over to where you and Cassian argued over cereal. The fight wasn't serious, but he just needed to remind you that even with a chair below you, you still fell a few inches short.
“Get down before you fall and hurt yourself, angel.” He put a hand to you, offering to help you down. You glared, but put your hand in his.
Offering to help you was a mistake.
He felt the blood rushing to his cock as your little hand sat in his.
He shared a knowing look with Cassian when you looked away to step down and get back on the floor. The argument resumed instantly, your hand still in his.
It stopped as soon as Nesta walked in. Her mate and you going silent and agreeing to disagree.
Well, at least you thought you had agreed. Until Cassian turned around, Nesta in his arms waiting to fly into Velaris. He looked between you and Azriel before smirking. “You know, y/n, you might have shit taste in cereal, but at least you're the perfect height for some things.”
You didn't get it until you turned to Azriel, plush lips parted to ask what Cassian meant.
The blush that spread your cheeks was sinful.
Another image Azriel would save when he imagined it was your mouth around his cock tonight.
Azriel's room was across the hall from yours, so he knew you were being subjected to the same torture he was.
He was sure all of the Night Court could hear Cassian and Nesta. He rolled over to his back, throwing an arm over his face and sighing.
You were so small, so sneaky, he hadn't noticed you come in and shut the door until you were sitting on his bed.
And fuck being in his custom made oversized bed made you look so little. “Hello angel.”
He made room for you, welcoming you under the blanket you laid facing him, watching him. “Do you all never.. get worn out?” He chuckled. “Because humans do. Males typically finish, then they're like, done, and asleep.”
He looked towards you, laughing and smiling so hard his dimples were showing. “Is that your way of telling me you didn't enjoy rolling in the sheets while you were human?”
That blush spread your face again. “I had plenty of fun before Hybern did this to me. Thank you very much, sir.”
You had done it. Azriel shut his eyes, growling at the nickname as he did. “You cannot call me that when you're laying in my bed, y/n.”
You looked at him, snuggling closer to him. You knew what you were doing to him. You had known for a while. You always tracked his eyes when he'd watch you take your heels off, biting his lip thinking no one was looking. You noticed him hide his arousal behind a mask of indifference when you would climb things around the House of Wind. You had also noticed Azriel and Cassian taking every chance they could to lift you.
You had even know Azriel was so sneakily listening to you and Nesta the other day, and you had meant it. Azriel was a mountain you intended on climbing. “Of course, sir. Wouldn't want you to have to use those big hands to keep me quiet.”
The growl that echoed through the room had your thighs clenching. He was on you in an instant arm between your breasts, so it rested on your neck. The other hand sat on your hip, inching forward. “Do not tease me.” You could feel him pressed against your back, mind immediately lost in how that would fit.
You may have been biting off more than you could chew.
But fuck it.
You had never backed down from a challenge. Why start now?
You wiggled further into him, grazing his cock with each movement. “What if I'm not teasing? What if this is an offer, sir?”
“You're going to regret that, little one,” Azriel's hand immediately was in your shorts, his other hand squeezing your throat. A thick finger ran your soaked core, pulling a moan from you. “Going to have to go slow,” Azriel ground his hips into you, needing that friction on his aching cock. “Don't want to hurt you, angel.”
That one finger entered you without warning. It was already a stretch, but one you welcomed.
You loved how everything about Azriel was so big. His hands, his muscled chest and arms, his wings. Of course he'd be big there too. Anticipation began to replace the fear. You relaxed into him, tilting your head and pulling him into a heated sloppy kiss.
Azriel swallowed your moans and cries as his finger opened you up for him. You were tight, so damn tight. His hand moved from your throat to your breasts, loving how they weren't even a handful for him. You were so petite and slim, he reminded himself. He pulled your tank top off, maneuvering the best he could to get you fully below him. He pushed in a second finger, watching as you squirmed so helplessly below him. “So fucking little,” he moaned. “Mother above you're perfect. Just perfect.”
He leaned back, fingers increasing speed the best they could with your shorts in the way while he toyed with your breasts, pinching your nipples and smacking the tender flesh as he saw fit. “Cum for me so I can sit you on my cock, angel. You can do it, y/n. Show me how tight you'll be squeezing around me.”
You felt like you were floating as you came, whimpering Azriel's name as you watched him rut against the mattress for some friction, hazel eyes damn near lost in lust.
He pulled his fingers out of you, wasting no time ripping his sweatpants off and using those juices to coat himself. Your shorts came next, torn to shreds as he pulled you to the edge of the mattress and rested one leg on both sides of his chest.
He was as perfect as you imagined. His cock was long and thick. He was running it along your folds, soaking up at the slick he could before smacking the head of it against your clit.
Azriel could help but to stand with his hips flush against yours, admiring how it looked like his cock would be damn near in your stomach. “Gonna go slow,” he mumbled as he positioned himself at your entrance. “Can't risk hurting my little angel.”
He pushed the head in, keeping an eye on you as you moaned out a long fuck before relaxing into his bed. He sat there, only a few inches inside of you, feeling as your walls stretched out to accommodate him.
He pulled out and slowly reentered, pushing a little more inside of you. Your back arched off the bed, a whimper of pleasure ripping through your throat. The burn of it felt so good. You felt yourself drooling already, mind numb, and lost to anything that wasn't Azriel.
He continued his motions over and over until he was flush against your hips, and you were screaming for him. You had cum just from him slowly getting inside of you, and now he could see the bulge he had created, the slight swelling inside of you as your body made room for him.
Azriel put a hand on the bulge, feeling himself inside of you as he began thrusting. You were squeezing him so tight, hand struggling to find him to hold on to something.
He felt himself losing control, pace growing faster and faster as he watched you squirming and moaning below him. His arms went behind your hips and back, lifting you off the bed and manhandling you in the air for a little while. He brought you to his chest, moving you to be against the wall that shared his room and Cassian's.
A silent brag, and message, that he could now accurrately inform Cassian how easy you were to toss around like a doll.
Your hands found purchase on his shoulders as you became a babbling mess. Your silky core was twitching and tightening around him all over again, indicating to him how close you were, how ready you were. “Az,” you panted. “So fucking big.”
“Yeah,” he kissed the top of your head. “Bet it feels so good stretching you out, doesn't it, baby?” You couldn't respond as a certain angle had you becoming pliant in his arms. “Fuck I know it does.” He was practically lifting you on and off of him, watching as you stretched around his cock. “You're close, aren't you, angel?”
You nodded, eyes glazed over and jaw fallen open to the perfect o. “Gonna cum.”
“Then cum. Squeeze my cock. You wanted to climb the mountain, right y/n? Fucking climb.”
You hit that peak on his command again, clinging to him tightly as he continued using you and stretching you out.
It took Azriel a few more moments, but he stilled inside of you, head thrown back in a loud growl as he came inside of you. He pressed you back against the wall, panting slightly as he stared into your eyes. He lifted you easily, allowing his cock to fall out of you and you to whine at the sudden emptiness that took place where he had filled you.
“This can't be a one-time thing,” his voice was almost desperate as he moved to set you on the desk, forehead finding yours. “I need more of you. All of you.”
You couldn't help but to bit your lip, nodding so quickly with a growing smile. “I like how little you make me feel. How safe you make me feel.”
Azriel's eyes almost rolled back completely as they shut. “Gods you are perfect.” He leaned in to kiss you, only to be interrupted by his door slamming open and Cassian and Nesta barging in.
A massive wing snapped between you and them, blocking your body from their view.
Cassian cleared his throat before speaking. “We want to know how exactly that worked. Show us. Please.”
“Show you?!” Your voice cracked as you turned to a smirking Azriel.
Azriel kissed your forehead. “Bend over the desk, angel. Gotta give him a show since he asked so nicely.”
General tag list:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho
@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth
Valentines Day Taglist:
@sfhsgrad-blog @amara-moonlight @eternallyelvish @novaksangel @teenageeggscissorslawyer @thisblogisaboutabook @amygdtjhddzvb
@justasillylittlegoofyguy
Azriel Taglist:
@elle4404
#acotar#acotar x reader#azriel acotar#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#azriel shadowsinger#shadow daddy#readychilledwine valentines day bingo
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so like a week ago I saw a post I can't find again about the idea of like an elf Tav who had grown up with Astarion before Cazador
so here's 4.5k words of that
lightly nsfw but the pants stay on (except in my half finished drafts that I gave up on)
A hog ran out of the bushes and you felt a blade against your neck as the man bodied you to the ground. He hovered over you, dagger pressed to your throat as he leaned in close with a soft smile. "Not another sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours."
This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?"
He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?
You stumbled along the beach away from the illithid ship. Your head was pounding and you just wanted to lay down but this was not nearly the time or place. You had to get away from the crash site and, preferably, find a few other survivors to watch your back. The cleric you picked up was fine and all, but you didn't entirely trust her. You were certain you'd need more help than that anyway.
Corpses littered the surrounding area, of humans and mind flayers alike. Not much survived the falling, flaming debris. It wasn't hard to make out a voice over the crackling fires.
You jogged towards the voice, quickly spotting it's owner. A slender elf with white curls that were surprisingly neat for surviving the nautiloid wreck. "Quick! I've got one of those brain things cornered."
That voice was… familiar? Still, you couldn't quite place it and it didn't really matter. If you helped him kill the thing, perhaps you could convince him to join you.
You followed where he was pointing, sword in hand. Really, you should've known better. Or perhaps Shadowheart could've been quicker to alert you?
A hog ran out of the bushes and you felt a blade against your neck as the man bodied you to the ground. He hovered over you, dagger pressed to your throat as he leaned in close with a soft smile. "Not another sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours."
This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?"
He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?
"You- you died…?" It didn't make sense. You saw them bury his body and everything.
His eyes flicked back and forth, studying your face. You wouldn't be upset if he didn't recognize you, but you weren't exactly sure how you would talk your way out of this in that case.
Fortunately, you wouldn't have to find out. You saw the moment it hit him as he jerked his dagger away from your neck, scrambling to get off of you. "It… can't be. Of all the people… you." He laughed bitterly, stowing the dagger.
Honestly, you weren't exactly sure how to respond to this situation. You couldn't even tell if he was happy to see you or not. So you decided to press on the most concerning issue still. "You died. I went to your funeral, Astarion. What… happened to you?"
You were nearly the same age, you'd grown up together in his family's estate. Your parents were hired hands and you served as a live-in friend for their reclusive son. He was only a few months older than you, so why did he look so much older? So much paler, more exhausted than someone your age ought to be.
On top of it he still looked fucking fantastic. Gods you hated how effortlessly beautiful he was.
His gaze darted between you and Shadowheart, anxiously weighing his options. "Ah, yes, well. You know how it goes, surrounded by adoration and opulence. It all gets to be too much, you fake your death, you flee the country. Standard business really."
That definitely wasn't the truth but clearly he wasn't about to share it in front of Shadowheart. It hurt, finding him like this, though. You were so close as children. It had gotten a little harder as you grew up but you always kept in contact. But he let you think he was dead for 200 years anyway? "Right. Of course. Well. Care to join us?"
~*~*~
It's not like you were still in mourning or anything. He had been a good friend for so long, at times even your best friend, but two hundred years was enough time for you to move on.
You had thought about him from time to time. Fondly remembering stories from your past that would turn into a quiet sadness for the life that was taken from him.
They never had an answer for what had happened to him. He had been murdered, you knew that much. No one ever said how or why, though. Magistrate's weren't exactly beloved and his family held a high enough title there was always the vague threat of assassinations but Astarion seemed like such a strange target.
It was compounded by the fact that nothing ever came of it. No one was ever caught, no political move was made on his grieving family. You would think maybe he'd been jumped, but nothing had been taken from him. Honestly, you never expected to get an answer. Certainly not from the dead man himself.
The two of you were sat in his tent, it had been a few days but what a wild few days they were. Tomorrow you would set out to level the goblin camp but tonight you were going to talk.
"I'm sorry." He started. It kind of surprised you, really. You had been learning over the past few days that the man you had once known was all but gone. The Astarion in front of you now was always bitter and irritated with half the things you did.
"Astarion I swear to Kelemvor, it is not naïve to rescue a twelve year old from a crazy lady with a snake for 'no reason.' The reason is rescuing the twelve year old from a snake."
"Where did you go? What happened to you?" The apology was nice but really, you just wanted answers. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He sighed, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. His eyes were fixed on the ground between the two of you and he looked so… sad. "I thought about it, about finding you. At first and, only for a moment."
Well that didn't really clear anything up, all right. You kept quiet though, you were smart enough to know when not to push.
"You want the truth? I was captured. Kidnapped by an evil man who turned me into a monster and forced me to do his bidding. I couldn't have told you. I- I didn't want to get anywhere near you. Not like this."
A picture was beginning to come into focus. Honestly, there had been enough pieces that you had already begun to wonder. "You're a vampire."
"A spawn, yes." He practically spat the word out, scowling at the ground. "He turned me into his little pet. I was to go out and catch him the most beautiful souls I could find for him to feast on. All the while I was starved and tortured just for his amusement."
"Astarion…"
"I don't want your pity. I mean - I do, sort of but- ugh…" He rolled his eyes, leaning back. "You've made this all extremely complicated."
"Why didn't you ever try to find me? I would've helped, I could've tried to get you out of there."
"I… well I couldn't." He glanced up at you, a sad smile crossing his lips. "You would've tried, certainly. And I would've watched him kill you as punishment I'm sure. No, it's quite all right." He waved a hand dismissively, as a perfect, easy grin spread across his face.
You couldn't exactly argue. It's not like you had any idea what you would've been up against. Still, your blood boiled at the very idea of what he must've gone through in your centuries apart. "Well, you're safe right now, anyway."
His face softened at your words, seeming to relax into the very idea of your protection. "I am, aren't I? How strange." His head cocked to the side, an almost calculating look crossing his face. "Would you… care to stay the night?"
~*~*~
You had always had a sort of off and on crush on Astarion, growing up. When you were very small he had told your parents that the two of you were already married, obviously.
As you got older, you had been sidelined pretty hard as the best friend and you took it with grace. You had plenty of other people who caught your eye and it was nice to always have someone you trusted to be there.
There was that one time that he had drunkenly wept into your arms about being the only person he would ever truly love. It would've meant more had he not just gotten his heart broken hours prior, but it did rekindle an old spark in your heart for a solid year.
The two of you had drifted apart as your social circles moved in opposite directions. You never connected with the upper class, he wouldn't be seen with the rabble. You always kept in touch but, by the time he was murdered captured, you were struggling to keep up with your monthly nights out at the Elfsong.
Right now, though, in this moment? You felt as though you couldn't possibly be closer to another person if you'd wished for it.
Astarion had practically crawled on top of you in his effort to kiss you. One of his hands was tangled in your hair while the other rested firmly against the small of your back. He was colder than you were used to but that wasn't unwelcome. Instead it just sent shivers through your entire body with every touch.
You slowly lowered yourself down to your elbows as he leaned further into you, chasing this kiss like he needed it to survive. The hand in your hair held you firmly against him, not that you had any intention of going anywhere.
His tongue slipped into your mouth, pulling a pitiful little noise out of your throat. He let out a small breath of a laugh as his fingers began to slowly tug your shirt out of your pants. Every move was so delicate and effortless on his part. Gods he was flawless.
He freed your shirt from the prison that was your waistband, pulling back just far enough to whisper a soft "May I?" against your lips.
You couldn't help the grin that spread across your face as you blinked up at him. "Only if you return the favor."
"Gladly." A devilish smile crossed his lips as he pulled back, taking your top with him. A moment later, he had his own pulled over his head and both were recklessly discarded.
One of his hands found it's way to your back again. You couldn't help the way you jumped as his icy fingers made contact with your bare skin. His other hand came up to cup your jaw, ever so gently applying just a bit of pressure. Just enough to encourage you to lay back underneath him as he pressed your lips together again.
You went so easily, he was so gentle and sweet and he tasted like vanilla and ever so slightly like copper. He was intoxicating.
Once he had you on your back, his hands began to wander. They trailed ever so delicately over your chest, lighting a fire inside of you as they went. Your own hands were so much more inexperienced. One helplessly pressed flat against his back, the other unwilling to pull away from his curls for even a moment.
He didn't seem to be bothered by how little you were really helping. His hands continued tenderly mapping your body as his kisses began to trail away from your mouth, along your jawline.
You let out a small gasp as his kiss trailed down to your neck and you felt him pull back, just a bit, just enough to look at you. "Now… it is just a thought… it's just that, well, some people are into biting."
"Are you asking if you can drink my blood?"
"Well, only if the answer is yes."
You gently brushed your hand through his mess of curls as you pondered this. "What would it… do?"
"To you? Not much. A bit of dizziness perhaps, nothing out of the ordinary for some good old fashioned blood loss. But for me? I've been living off rats and wild boar for decades. Just a sip from someone as decadent as yourself could probably give me the power of the sun."
You couldn't help but laugh at the blatant flirting, but damn if it wasn't working. "Maybe a bit exaggerated," he continued "But it would make me feel stronger. I could fight better, think clearer. You don't have to-"
"Go for it."
"Oh. Shit really? I still had a whole monologue about not feeling pressured."
"Getting less sexy by the second, Ancunín."
"Gods, shut up." He rolled his eyes, pressing his lips back to yours as you giggled.
You could feel his anticipation now, though. He kissed you just long enough to push you back into the right headspace before his attention turned back to your neck.
He lingered there longer than you expected, tenderly covering you with his kisses. Then, without warning, he pulled back and his gentle lips were replaced by an acute sting as his fangs sunk into one of your veins.
It was a unique feeling, you could say that. You'd been stabbed before but this was different. It was cold. Like the first snow of winter, dark and freezing but glittering like crystals in the moonlight. You heard yourself gasp and felt your body arch up into him as your head tipped back for him.
You could've easily lost yourself in the feeling, just basking in this closeness you had with someone who was so dear to you. You had just enough awareness to feel the dizzy, light headed bliss start to tip towards darkness.
Your grip on his hair tightened, gently trying to tug him back before he got carried away. "Astarion…"
He only let out a gentle moan before seeming to catch himself, quickly pulling away with a small gasp. "Gods…" he wiped away the small trickle of your blood that had escaped his lips, licking it from his fingers as you stared up at him, slack jawed.
"I couldn't have wished for a finer vintage." He crooned as he ducked his head back down to clean the blood from your neck.
Gods, he had your heart about bursting out of your chest. His hands started to wander again as his mouth continued it's assault on your neck. Every touch was so careful and perfect, each one sending sparks flying through you.
He cupped one hand around your neck, gently applying a bit of pressure to stop the bleeding as his mouth moved back to yours. "You're gorgeous, you know? I've always thought so."
You were obsessed already. He was intoxicating, the way his touch felt against your skin, the way his honey sweet words pierced your heart. There was an old version of you that had dreamed of just having him like this.
Here you were, pampered and loved by a man you had adored for so long. Gods, you really never thought you would ever see him again, let alone have his hand down your pants like this. In this moment, the world was nearly perfect. The only thing that mattered to you now was making this boy yours.
~*~*~
You woke up in the morning, a bit sore, a bit disoriented, and very alone. It took a moment to remember why you were in a strange tent. Another moment for you to realize Astarion was gone. You couldn't help the disappointment that bloomed in your chest at that thought. You couldn't blame him, exactly. It's not like the two of you were a thing. Still, it would've been nice to wake up beside him.
You sighed softly, quietly getting dressed in the still morning chill. It felt like early morning, the golden light filtering into the tent and lack of noise from your companions clued you in. Maybe Astarion had run off to feed before the rest of the camp woke up. Maybe he'd hoped to be back before you had gotten up?
No such luck. You pushed open the tent flap to find your vampire quietly staring at the dim embers of your campfire. You had to bite back another sigh as you stepped forward, apparently making enough noise to draw his attention.
His neck whipped around, though he relaxed instantly once he located the source of the sound he'd heard. "You're up early." He said, quietly, turning back to the fire.
"I could say the same."
"I'm always the first one awake." You could hear the eye roll in his voice.
You stepped forward, moving to sit beside him with a small, awkward smile. "And you just had to get away from me?" Don't freak him out, play it cool. You weren't disappointed at all.
He didn't seem to find it funny, though. He just drew his knees up closer to his chest. "I told you. You made things… complicated."
That was weird. Honestly, you had no idea what he meant. "I'm sorry?"
"Not your fault." His voice was flat and unreadable. He'd really changed so much since you last saw him. It made sense but that didn't stop it from hurting.
You missed the man you used to know. Snarky and a bit full of himself. But also shy and awkward and comforting. You recognized many of his old mannerisms but they'd changed. He was bitter, focused on how to protect himself above all else. It made him violent and trigger happy in a way you weren't used to. Quite frankly, it was a little scary sometimes, the amount of joy he took in violence.
"Can I help?" It was all you had really. You couldn't change what had happened to him. All you could do now was try to help.
"Can you help? Sure. If you could just… go back in time, stop yourself from finding me after the nautiloid and let me carry on my merry way, presumably to be murdered by the first person I annoy too much."
"Okay, well, I'm not sure I can do that." You couldn't read him, no matter how hard you tried. "Did I… do something wrong?"
"No, gods, no." He curled up tighter. He looked so… vulnerable. He never did vulnerable. Especially not now. "You're perfect. That's the problem. You made it complicated."
"Astarion, I don't understand."
He sighed, finally turning his head to throw you a small, tired look. "I know. Hells…" You could see the confliction writing itself across his face. "I want to tell you something but you have to swear that you won't hate me for it, I mean it. It's not good, but you cannot hate me."
"I've never hated you, Star." Maybe the nickname was a bad idea. You practically saw it stab him directly through the chest, forcing him to turn away for a moment to collect himself.
He couldn't look you in the eye again, he just stared off to the distance in any other direction. "I know. I mean it though, promise me, please."
"All right." What could he possibly tell you that was worse than 'I spent two hundred years forced to kidnap people to be killed by my master.' "I promise. I won't hate you, no matter what."
You saw him relax a bit, his shoulders loosening. He turned back, just enough to glance at you out of the corner of his eye. "I… Last night, that- it…" It was so rare that he struggled to find his words.
He took another breath, trying to collect himself before turning back to the fire. "I was just… using you. I wish I could say I didn't mean to but- gods, I did. I pushed it that way on purpose. Its all… part of the plan, you know? Seduce you, sleep with you, secure my safety and position in the group with you. It was… easy."
Oh. Well that wasn't exactly great to hear. He was still trying to collect himself, find the right words. You didn't want to interrupt and, honestly, you didn't really know what to say.
"I didn't think about it, I just… did it. Like I had to. I needed to. And by the time my head caught up it was too late. You were already into it, I couldn't just stop."
"What?"
"I mean," He continued quickly, seemingly trying to get ahead of your presumed anger. "It's not like it wasn't good, it's not like I don't… care about you. It's just, it was an instinct. I think."
"Astarion-"
"Please, you have to understand-"
"No, no, stop. Hold on." You saw the panic in his eyes as you interrupted. "Astarion did you not… want to do that?"
The look he gave you was, honestly, almost a little pitiful. "Like I said, you've made this complicated. I don't know. I don't know what I want."
You turned your attention away from him, towards the dying fire in front of you, pausing for a moment to collect your thoughts. "I wish you hadn't done that to yourself." He was right. This was complicated.
He wasn't the same person you had grown up with. Whatever had been done to him had clearly changed him fundamentally as a person.
But, still, you couldn't look at him without seeing your old friend. It was still the same laugh you had known. Still the same smile. You saw it, when you agreed to help the tieflings, the way he cocked his hip out and rolled his eyes. His little mannerisms that still lingered after all this time. He might not be the same man you had known, but you loved him anyway.
"I don't know what happened to you," you continued before he could get defensive. "I don't know what made you feel like you had to go to such extremes just to win affections you've had since we were children."
You saw some kind of spark in his eyes. It was so difficult to read him now, you wanted to get better at that. "I'm… sorry." He sounded so unsure. Honestly, you didn't care for it, he was always so confident. Now, though, he just looked… sad, maybe?
"You don't have to apologize. Astarion," You carefully reached a hand out to cover one of his. "The first thing you did when you saw me was put a dagger to my throat, and I still would've tossed Shadowheart into the ocean if you'd asked me to."
That pulled a startled laugh out of him that you briefly worried might've woken up your companions. Gods you really would do just about anything to see him smile. "You would not have. You're too much of a goody two shoes."
"Maybe." You grinned, giving his hand the smallest squeeze. "Still. I'm just sorry you felt like you had to go that far for my affection."
"I'm not the man you used to know, I'm not blind. I don't know who he was anymore. Up till now, I think I'd forgotten my own parents' faces. But you look at me like you expect me to be him and I don't know how. I can't be what you expect, at least if I could keep your bed warm you'd have reason to keep me around."
"Astarion…" Your hand tightened around his as you scooted just a bit closer. "I was sitting in the Elfsong, a long time ago. At 'our' table, you know? I was waiting for you to meet me and I grabbed a day old copy of the Gazette to read while I waited.
"I didn't even notice at first. There was a headline for one of the articles, 'Magistrate Murdered', but I didn't notice until I got closer to it. I saw your name and it was like the roof caved in over me. I was sitting there, waiting for you to show up, and a shitty, ale stained piece of parchment told me you never would."
You looked up at him with a sad smile before continuing quickly, trying to stay ahead of the guilt you were sure was creeping up in him. "I cried for months over you. And for years after when something reminded me too much of you. Star, neither of us are the same person we left behind, it's been two hundred years. I've been through plenty, and you've been through hell. That's not what matters though."
He looked so small right now. He was nervous and upset and vulnerable. You hated it, you didn't want him to be so anxious with you, gods you wanted him to trust you. "What matters is right now. We're here together. That's so much more than I ever could've dreamed just a month ago. You don't have to earn my trust and love again. And you certain don't have to force yourself to have sex with me to do it. I never stopped loving you, Astarion."
He was still for a moment, his eyes flicking over your face, scanning you for ill intent. You watched him cycle through a dozen emotions as he processed what you were saying. Then, almost like a switch flipped, he just melted.
With a choked out sob, he collapsed into you. You wrapped your arms around him as he curled into a ball, practically in your lap. His whole body shook as he quietly cried into your chest. You really did hate seeing him cry but you could feel the tension lifting from his shoulders as you held him tight.
You let a silent prayer fly to whichever god was keeping your friends asleep through this, asking them to keep up the good work. The last thing he needed right now was everyone else seeing him like this, you knew how much he wanted to keep up appearances.
Ever so gently, you lifted a hand to card your fingers through his curls. He curled up just a bit tighter, leaned into you just a bit more. It had been so, so long since the two of you had been this close. You really, truly never wanted it to end.
Eventually, though, he pulled back with an awkward laugh and a hasty scrub of his face. He didn't go far, just enough to sit back and look at you. "Gods… well. That was sexy."
You rolled your eyes, throwing him a soft grin. "You're ridiculous, Star. Come on, everyone'll be up soon. Big day, you know? Let's go kill some fucking goblins."
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Killer Duo - Isaac Lahey
Summary: Lydia’s throwing a Halloween party and your costume coordinates with Isaac’s
Isaac Lahey x Reader
Word Count: 1,591
Author’s Note: Apparently this was in my drafts in 2019 and I finished it in 2020. Why it never got posted, I’m not sure. The timing of this is funny cause I’m currently at work dressed as the character Isaac is dressed as. Anyway, reblogs and comments are appreciated. Happy Halloween!
“Lydia, I haven’t dressed up for Halloween since I was 12,” you said walking around looking at all the creepy Halloween decorations.
“And this is a costume party. You have to dress up or you can’t go,” Lydia replied walking in front of you heading straight for the costumes.
“I have no idea what I should be. And most Halloween costumes for women are sexy now, which really means they’re short and inappropriate, and I am not doing that.”
The strawberry blonde rolled her eyes. “You haven’t even looked at any costumes yet and your already jumping to conclusions.”
“I’m just pointing out facts. Halloween used to be fun, then I grew up.”
“And now you’re at the age where you can dress up again,” Lydia smiled at you. “There’s just no candy this time.”
“So what’s the point,” you joked.
“Just come on,” Lydia said grabbing your arm pulling you towards the superhero costumes first.
The two of you began to look through the racks of clothes. You ran a mental checklist of everything that wouldn’t work for you.
Batgirl? No.
Iron Man? No.
Elastigirl? Hell no.
“Oh, what about Wonder Woman,” Lydia asked holding up the iconic armor for you to see.
“Ehh,” you said fidgeting on your feet, “I don’t feel comfortable having my ass out.”
“Okay,” Lydia said sighing at how difficult you were making this. She stood next to you scanning the the other costumes in the superhero section and decided you were going to like any of them.
“What about a witch,” she asked.
“I guess I could be that,” you replied halfheartedly.
“No, I don’t want you buying something you don’t love. That’s the number one rule in fashion.”
“Lydia, why don’t you just look for your costume and I’ll find mines. I don’t want you to keep pulling outfits and I hate them all.”
Lydia turned and faced you. “Honey, I bought my costume weeks ago. No one is going to be wearing the same thing as me at my own party.”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “Duh, I should have known you already had your costume ready to go.”
“Yes, so this trip is all about you, my dear,” Lydia said tapping you on the nose making you smile.
“Fine,” you replied. “Well, let’s go look at something a little more spookier then.”
_____________
“Barbie, eat your heart out.”
Lydia walked up behind you in the mirror and nodded. “You look good.”
“I look killer,” you laughed and Lydia smiled shaking her head.
You looked at yourself in the mirror admiring your white dress, leather jacket, and combat boots. You grabbed your eyeliner pencil and added the final touch. Tiffany’s mole.
Perfect.
As soon as you saw the Bride of Chucky costume, you knew you needed it. Lydia was just happy you didn’t go with Chucky so you didn’t mess up her bathroom adding all the wounds and fake blood on your face.
About an hour later, the party was well under way and you already made your first rounds with Lydia. Now she off doing other hostess duties and you were people watching against the wall.
You saw Isaac across the room and smiled to yourself. You excused yourself through the crowd as you made your way across the room.
“Hey, Isaac. Nice costume,” you greeted, looking up at the tall burette in front of you. Well, he wasn’t brunette right now. He was wearing a red wig and a pair of Good Guys overalls. You snickered to yourself. Of course the guy you had a crush on would be dressed up as Chucky. He was basically the salt to your pepper.
“Thanks,” Isaac said, a grin lining his face. “And you are a... biker bride?”
You looked at Isaac confused and shocked. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“What,” Isaac smiled confused at your response. “Should I know who you are?”
“Yes,” you said laughing. You gawked at him as you held up your plastic bloody knife and pointed to your “Tiff” necklace. His eyebrow furrowed in confusion.
“I’m Tiffany...”
Isaac shook his head still lost.
“The Bride of Chucky...”
“Sorry. Still don’t know who that is.”
“Oh my God. Isaac, how are you dressed up as Chucky but don’t know who Tiffany is?”
Isaac shrugged. “Honestly, I wasn’t planning on wearing a costume, but Lydia said I had to, then showed up to Scott’s house with this.”
You shook your head, laughing to yourself. “Of course she did.”
“Am I missing something,” Isaac asked wanting in on the joke.
“Lydia knew I was dressing up as Tiffany and she made you be Chucky... we’re basically a couple’s costume.”
“We are,” Isaac asked, his eyebrow raised and smirk slowly growing on his face.
“Uhh, I- I mean sorta,” you replied fidgeting where you stood. “Especially, now when we’re standing next to each other.”
Isaac took a step closer to you. “So I guess I better keep you close then.”
You’re eyes grew big but before you could response you were interrupted.
“There you two are,” Lydia said walking up to you and Isaac. Her blonde ponytail wig bouncing with each step she took. She definitely was the only I Dream of Jeannie here. You doubted if most of the party even knew who she was, but they all knew she looked good. “Well don’t you look cozy together.”
“Lydia,” you said a little too sweetly for anyone’s liking. “I hear we have you to thank for Isaac’s costume.”
“What,” Lydia asked like she didn’t basically have you and Isaac in a couple’s costume. “I couldn’t have him come to my Halloween party not dressed up.”
“Yeah, sure,” you scoffed crossing your arms over your chest.
“Anyway, everyone’s outside so we can take a group pic before anyone is too intoxicated to do it later.”
“Lydia,” Stiles yelped running up. “Oh, hey guys,” he said waving to you and Isaac. You smiled and waved back before he began talking to Lydia. He was dressed up as Captain Tony Nelson, the perfect couple’s costume to Lydia’s Jeannie. “Um, so, I may or may not have gotten my Captain’s hat stuck on the roof... okay I definitely did. But it was Scott’s fault!”
“Seriously, Stiles,” Lydia fumed. “God,” she whispered under her breath shaking her head before turning to you. “Give it about ten minutes before the picture so I can get his hat down.”
You laughed nodding your head. “Okay.”
The couple walked away, leaving you alone with Isaac. “Um, I’m going to go get something to drink. See you outside in ten?”
“Yeah,” Isaac said, giving you a slow and sexy smile.
You turned and headed for the kitchen, letting out a long breath as you did. Isaac’s whole existence was driving you crazy. Although you did like the blue eyed boy, and you’ve been wanting something to happen for a while, he was making you incredibly nervous. You’d rather avoid him instead of potential embarrassing yourself.
After you filled your red solo cup with the fruity punch being served, one of your classmates came up to you.
“Hey Y/N, cute costume.”
“Thanks!”
“I didn’t know you and Isaac were a thing.”
“Huh,” you asked confused.
“The couple’s costume,” they said hesitantly. “Chucky and Tiffany.”
“Ohh, duh” you said to yourself when you realized. “We’re not dating. We just happened to wear costumes that went together.”
“Oh... well, the two of you look good together,” they said shrugging then walked away.
All your friends were already outside ready to take the picture. Lydia handed her phone to the designated photographer, then went to stand next to Stiles. Scott was in the middle, with Kira next to him. Malia was next to Kira, while Stiles and Lydia were on the other side of Scott. You stood next to Malia, throwing your arm over your friend’s shoulder. Isaac stood near Stiles.
After two pics were snapped, Lydia went to check the photos. She grabbed her phone, then looked up at the group. “Somethings not right...,” she said out loud, thinking to herself. “I know!” She grabbed Isaac by his arm and pulled him over to where you were standing. “That’s better. You’re costumes go together, so it makes sense,” she said smiling. She mumbled a quick you’re welcome to you before she handed the camera back over and went back to her place next to Stiles.
The person taking the pictures counted down “3, 2, 1,” then snapped a pic. But before you got to one, Isaac grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him. You shrieked in response then started laughing.
“Okay, now a funny one,” Scott yelled so everyone could hear.
Isaac didn’t hesitate, quickly picking you up bridal style. You yelped, then immediately stuck your tongue out at him. Lydia’s phone flashed as the picture was taken, then everyone stopped doing their poses, but Isaac didn’t put you down.
You giggled before you spoke. “You can put me down now, Isaac. The picture’s over.”
“I said I should keep you close. So that’s what I’m doing,” he said smiling down at you in his arms. “And besides, if we’re next to each other people will think we’re a couple, so no guy will ask you to dance.”
You titled your head to the side, your eyes squinted slightly. “But we’re not a couple.”
“Give it a few weeks.”
Your mouth dropped in a silent gasp, slowly turning into a huge grin. You heard Kira giggling behind you and Stiles’s “yuck.”
#Teen Wolf#isaac lahey#isaac lahey x reader#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf imagine#isaac lahey fanfic
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about love ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
eren loves when you greet him lovingly, especially when he’s had a long hard day at work yearning to come home to his sweet, precious baby. twisting his keys in the lock he opens the door, seeing you lighten up your newly bought vanilla candles, wearing your cute pink housewear with headband to match and grinned when he saw your face light up.
beaming at him, you rush over to him “hi eren baby! i missed you soo much today, did you miss me?”
“missed you the minute i left the house pooks.” he kissed your cheek, but felt your head jerking back, paired with a furrow brow, “pooks?”
“yeah, like it’s shortened for pookie you know?”
“oh i know that…but how do you know that?” eren chuckled at your now “defensive” mode an quick you were to switch up, “i think nikki did-“
“and who the fuck is nikki?”
“no way maybe jessica…or sasha…no! it was definitely aaliyah.”
“eren quit playing with me,”
“but i’m not? i’m telling you aaliyah calls me that at work so now i’m-“ he immediately cut himself off, now cackling at the annoying look on your face, “i’m just- i was playing, you look so funny when you’re pissed.”
“eren you’re so annoying bro, damn!”
“i’m the best boyfriend ever too! besides you love my annoying butt, don’t you?” sighing, your reply was a mumbled “i love you…i guess” and eren hugged you a little tighter than before, kissing forehead and swaying you both side to side.
an: this is a repost cause the original draft decided to post and i wasn’t even finished with it- like i had no title, no nothinggg 😭😭😭
song inspo: about love
#i love annoyingbf!eren#and he’s cute too#and silly#eren x black fem!reader#attack on titan#aot x y/n#eren jaeger x reader#aot fanfiction#aot x black reader#eren x reader#eren yeager#eren aot#fluff#eren yaeger x reader#eren headcanons#eren x black reader#eren jaeger
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Just a Normal Genshin Impact Game Time... Is it?
This SAGAU fanfic was actually created like a year ago (March 15, 2023), but decided to redo this again. This was created during the time I was still Venti-less, so this one was like a story of me trying to cope at that time.
And yes, my latest fanart coincidentally fits this story too! I just stumbled on this back when I tried to scroll on my drafts while waiting for the fanart to be posted.
CW: blood, violence, and murder. Be warned.
You were just playing Genshin Impact on your computer like any other day, just doing the usual stuff you always do every time you login like doing the daily commissions and farming domains to build your characters.
One day, after doing your usual Genshin dallies for the day, you decided to take some scenic pictures with your current team on board and explore Teyvat to look for random chests and hidden quests you may miss. You know, to pass the time and possibly scrounge for primogems to farm for your favorite character.
But as you try to explore the place while trying to find a good spot to take pictures, you couldn't shake the feeling that something is wrong, that something or someone was watching you.
You were confused at first, on why you are feeling like that. But you just shrugged, as you may think you just had too much coffee. After all, you love coffee to the bone.
As you took Kokomi to a scenic place somewhere in Mondstadt, you had noticed something strange that was hidden by a canopy of trees, few meters behind the current character. You squinted a little bit, your eyes still trying to figure out the culprit of your distraction.
There was a figure hidden behind the trees.
------
At first, you mistook it as a rock or something inanimate but you then noticed that it was actually a person when it moved. It was not an NPC or random animal, but an actual playable character. After all, you could recognize that outfit even from afar, as Genshin Impact characters had some unique styles that were fit for their personalities and status.
It was Venti, hiding in a tree from far away, with eyes glaring at you.
Your heart nearly burst out of your chest when you saw him as you quickly exit the camera mode, trying to find some explanation of why he was there, to begin with. Maybe there's an event that he had been with?
You checked the quest menu to check for any Mondstadt-related events that you probably never finished, but to your horror, there was nothing. You looked at some guides online, some clues onto why he was there, that there may be an event from other nations that had him as a guest, but to no avail. You remembered that you already did his story quest and the quests that he was actually involved in-game. Maybe it's a glitch?
With a shaky grip, you closed the quest menu and stared at the same spot again. Venti was still there behind the tree, watching you with soulless eyes.
You were shaking in fear as you were also staring at him.
As you were still frozen on your seat, trying to make sense of everything, the figure dressed as Venti suddenly pointing something at your Kokomi, his soulless eyes still looking at your terrified ones, like he was a rabid dog vying for attention.
You suddenly recognized what he was trying to do. He was pointing out his former signature weapon, the iconic Skyward Harp, at you.
"Wait, isn't the Elegy of the End his new signature weapon?" You muttered out as your mind had tried to remember about Venti. You were a fan of him, so it would be in your forte to remember every single detail about him.
You remember that even his weapon was already changed to Elegy of the End during his consecutive reruns due to the new bow fits his kit than Skyward Harp, the latter was still his signature weapon in lore.
In the corner of your eye, you noticed something weird once again, this time on the map.
Apparently, the map shows you that there is a second player on the map, and that player was near your vicinity. You widened your eyes as you remembered that you didn't do any co-op with a Venti main recently and you don't even have a Venti. And to your horror, even your co-op mode wasn't even turned on!
------
You had remembered that you always wanted Venti, but due to your impatient nature, you had decided to build pity and accidentally won Kokomi twice on the last day of her banner. You got C1 Kokomi instead.
Unfortunately, Venti's banner was next and you regretted that he never came home. You had lost your 50/50 to your very first Qiqi at 75 pulls... At the end of his rerun banner.
...this is weird and unsettling, so you decided to quit the game, but to your horror, you can't even access the damned menu, soft locking you out.
As you saw Venti's creepy smile while he was sadistically hitting your main team with his anemo-infused arrows, you were horrified at what happened next.
You watched your entire team being stabbed by his arrows, blood splattering on the screen like a grotesque painting, and your current team crying for mercy and help as they were hit by the arrows the Anemo Archon in disguise had been aiming at them and they were frozen in spot because of some twisted form of code that the game had, instead of them doing their usual lines while being on low HP or fallen down. And you couldn't even make them run by pressing the buttons to move the character you currently have because you're frozen in fear as you saw the character pleading for you to make them run away from the crazed fellow using your keyboard and mouse but you didn't. You didn't even help them survive.
You remembered that characters that had fallen down were supposed to turn into glowing white dust instead of this... bloody mess you were witnessing.
This isn't right!
It was like you were playing a horror game rather than a simple open-world RPG game.
Then while the carnage was happening, there is an in-game text that was showing up while this is happening, of Venti still happily singing his ballads while doing the unthinkable. As if he was gleefully watching you squirm.
You couldn't help but close the game in a blink of an eye after you witnessed the scene by trying to turn off the computer and decided to never touch the game again. Thankfully, your computer turned off, but it had left you traumatized.
You decided to uninstall the game after rebooting the computer. The usual uninstall window had appeared with a picture of a chibified Amber crying showed up and a message about asking if you were really uninstalling the app, as if beckoning you not to delete the game, but you insisted and still pressed the uninstall button.
You decided to leave your room while leaving the computer to do its duty to uninstall the cursed stuff, but after you went outside for some fresh air, the uninstall window that was supposed to show a chibified Klee signifying the game had been uninstalled, glitched for a second.
Venti's creepy smile was seen in a split second on the entirety of the computer screen instead of the window with Klee, with some words written in glitchy Teyvatian language then in glitchy English that was flickering in the screen before it turns normal once again.
Y̸̩͂̆̇̌̾͑͂̄́͠o̴̢̧̫̖̫̥̗̞̖͘ͅṳ̸̢̨̽͆͑̀̔̍̃́̐̄̚ͅ ̸̡̥͙̞̎͗̔͋̔̄ẘ̷̽̃̒͑͑́̔̏͜i̶̳̺͔̼̺̘̙̙̭͑̒͑̉̕l̵̨̛̗̟̟͔̆̅̓͛̅̔l̸̢̹̠͋̊̔́͠ͅ ̷̛͎̮̯̬͇͔͉̗̪́̌͌̄͒̃͘ͅn̸̫̺̼͎̺͓͈͊̿́̔̀̔̈́̈̋̄e̵̬͎̳͊́͂̓̍͂̈́̏͜͝v̸͇̥̩̲̫̪̐̀̌͛̾͛ͅe̴̤̲̺̜̱̫̭̪̝̠͗̓̍̍͜r̶̻͉̳̩̈̑ ̴̨̛̬͉̜̮̰̬͖͕̩̬̑̈́́ẽ̶̡͎̱̰̩̖̫͚̈͋̆̄s̵̺̹͎͍͖̠̥̮̾̊͊̅́͜c̴̛̟͂̾̉̑̑̕ḁ̴̡̛̗̍̏̓̂̍̌̋ṕ̵̬̗̜͓͍̬̍̂͘ȩ̵̧̖̞͕̭̘̭̥̈́̕ͅ ̷̺̣͙̇̀̓͝T̴͇̥̠̦̹̼͇̼͓̘̍̿̎͛̎̽̍͛e̷͕͕̼̟͖̾y̸͖̠̰͖͚̺͆͒̋͐̓v̷̢̛̘͈̹͍̱͚a̴͍̦̠̮̱͌͒̉͋͂͘͘͝͠ͅt̷̢̡̹̍͗͗ ̷̧̛̠̫̘̮͔͍̰̻̙͎̃͋͌̀͛n̸̹̪̦̪̼͔̝̦̠͚̿́̌̋̀͋̒o̶̧̡͉͕̹̠͈̰̰̦̓̌̎̈́̌̈̏͗̕̚͝t̵̖̝̫̩̖̼̯̟͑͠ ̴̟̙̑̀̔͒͝ͅm̸̛̤͇͙̰̬̼̳̩̥͌̒͑̒̉̈́͐̑̉͘͜ͅė̸̢̺̟̜̓̂̑̊,̸̗̠̯̀͋̋̂̚͜ ̸͓̬̗͙̘͓̫̖͖̇̎͌̍̉̓̇͊̕̚͘m̸̤̦͖̟̪̓y̴̨̪̦̘̖̘͔̻͈̮̋̃̈́͐ͅ ̴̠̠͓̜͇̮̰̈̅͊̉̾̂̀̊͝d̸̛̝̋̌͌̑͛͂̉͋̌͝e̵̘̖͇̥͙̊̀̈͛̎͋̈͗́͊͘ͅa̷̭̹̘̖̗̫̱̮͛̐͝ͅŗ̶̬̻͕̓ę̴̻̱̥̄̈̈́̏s̸̮̉̓͂̐̈̀̅̈́̕t̸̢̢̰͙̪̥͔̘͉͙̋̈̃̀̈́̅ ̸͇̹̘̺̫͓̲͔̣͑̉W̶̝͙̱͇͉̥̬͇̽̔̉ì̷̢̨͈͓̟̮͖̞̪̠̹̅̈́̂̒̀̕n̶̢̨̬͚͕̟̻͙͙̾̂̊̍̇̉̎͛̿̕d̸̼̮̮̮̳̜̾͛́̽̇b̴̮̎̽̆̄͛́̽l̴̛͓̓͌̉́͝͝ŭ̴̓̓͗̒́̈́̈̂͜m̶̛̛̛͔̯͔͎̣͕̩̙̊̉̈̊̕͜͝e̶̼̰͙͚̗̪̙̮̓̑̀͒̎̂̑̿̚ͅ,̵̲̭̘̬̟̻͇̊̏̀̇͒́̎͌ ̵̛̟͍̮͉̮͒̅̃͗̓̕̚͝͝n̷͍̲͉͉̤͔̥̮̞̼͐͐͜͝ò̵̝̂̐̎̐̚ ̵̧̢̮̹̣͈̦͉̻͘m̵̡̧͚̟̗̯̗̩̥̫̦̈́̍̃a̷͎̪͎̬͕͔̜̮̠̒͌̆͐̏̌̈́̄͜͝͝t̵̡͚̬̰͓͍͈̱͋̅́͌̊̌́͝ť̵̨͈̹͈̦͕̬̽̈̿̋̃̍̊̉̃ê̴̢̛̟̺̰̈́͂̈̽̍͐̓̆͘r̴̢̲̝̀̈̀͝ ̵̢̥̗̹͍͔̘̙͔̀w̴̤̻̣̅̐̈̀͊͋́͐͘͝ͅh̶̘̥̟̖͎̦͖̬͛̎̐̎͛a̵̛̲͎̬̼̫̳͑̆̆͝t̶̨̛̘̗̪͔̭̥̀̐.̶̼̗̓̎̽̇̑̆͛͠
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only lovers alive
song mingi x reader
synopsis: you return back home after graduating college to a new relationship you have to navigate with your childhood best friend
warnings: smut, a lot of mentions of sexual acts, drinking, insecurities, jealousy, dirty talk, phone sex, sort of (very brief) exhibitionism, gender neutral reader
word count: 20,3k
notes: hello. i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for 1-2 years and saw a tweet that said ”i’d pick you up from the airport in every universe” and decided to let this out of jail bc of that. although the fic itself is inspired by this song. fic title comes from this song. i’m gonna schedule this to post while i’m asleep because i’m terrified to post after not being on here for such a long time. please be gentle with me >:(
It’s dark outside your window, but the streets are lit up by countless glimmering lights. Even though the day is turning into night, there’s still plenty of traffic. Beaming headlights join the streams of light from street lamps, and it’s just your apartment that is missing a glow from a lamp on its windowsill. You’ve got all yours packed up and sent away already, and you’re taking in the city for the last time.
”Are you going to miss it?” Mingis's voice is soft on the other end of the phone. You’ve got him on speaker, lying right next to you.
”I guess, yeah. It’s been nice, even though I haven’t spent much time exploring or enjoying the city.”
It’s true. You’ve just finished your last semester and finally graduated after moving hours away from your hometown to go to your dream school. It feels like eons since then, when you had to say tearful goodbyes to your friends and family and settle down in a cramped little dorm room. You’d been lucky enough to get student housing in your last year, a bigger place where you’d been living for the past two semesters. This city wasn’t just a stark difference to your hometown, it was the definition of complete and total opposite.
The town you grew up in was the type to hide, not really forgotten, just barely there. Small and tucked away between long stretches of forests and fields. You’d be blessed to live there your whole life, yet lucky to get away. You’d go home to visit during summer break and just bask in how simple life was back home, but beyond all, how it was still home to all the things you held most dear. Top of that list: Mingi.
”You’ll always be able to go back, maybe we can go during the summer and you can take me to that Chinese place you’ve talked so much about,” Mingi says. He’s starting to sound a little sleepy, and it’s a reminder that you should probably get to sleep soon. You’ve got an early flight to catch, then it’s just a span of a few hours separating you and Mingi. He’ll be coming to pick you up, so you suppose you better let him go too so he can get some sleep.
”You know I’d love that,” you smile, and slump down on your bed. ”I think we should head to bed though, maybe we should leave this future talk for some other time.”
He hums in agreement, and the line goes quiet for a minute. You can hear his breathing through the speaker, slow and steady. When you close your eyes it’s almost like he’s here.
”Hey, uh,” he begins, and he swallows audibly. ”Do you think it’s gonna be weird?”
Ah, there it is. You’ve almost been waiting, expecting, him to ask it.
”No, I don’t… It’s not like we haven’t seen each other since I moved away. We’ve spent almost all of the last three summers together, right?” you reason. It’s not really what Mingi is referring to, but you have to start somewhere. Soften him up, reassure him.
”Well yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just different because we weren’t doing those things then, and now it’s… well, different.”
”Mingi,” you say with firmness in your voice. ”It would only be different if you said and did all those things just because it was over the phone. If you didn’t mean any of it.”
Mingi takes another moment of silence, and you can imagine that he’s probably chewing nervously on his bottom lip. It makes you a bit nervous as well, the fact that you can’t see him. You’d always been so good at reading his face and figuring out what he was thinking. You need that more than ever now, the ability to read him, because so much has changed.
”I’ve meant every word I’ve ever said,” he says, and something about the words feels so heavy and serious, and he seems to realize it too. ”I really, really want to fuck you, not just over the phone.”
Mingis voice is normal when he says it, not a hint of underlying desire or desperation, but the words themselves send a flash of warmth through your body. It’s become regular at this point, this shift in your friendship. The first time you guys crossed over that invisible line had been under the influence of alcohol, you had come home drunk from the bar after celebrating good test results with some friends and Mingi had been celebrating getting a new job with your mutual friends back at home. It just sort of happened, you dialing his number and gushing about how much you missed him. The conversation went on for half an hour when you started trying to undress from your bar clothes and Mingi had asked what you were doing. He’d asked about what you were wearing, and what color your underwear was, then he informed you that he was just in his boxers, and for some reason you found yourself telling him about how sexually frustrated you had been lately in hopes that he’d offer help. And he did.
That first night it was quick and needy, neither of you initiated it, it just happened in perfect symbiosis. You checked the call log the day after and saw that you guys had been on the phone for hours, the last of which you had both eventually fallen asleep on call until your phone battery died. Tentatively, you had called him during the afternoon and asked him if he had any recollection of yesterday night's events. His voice had been raspy and breathy, throat raw from drinking and moaning, and you can still remember every inflection in the tone of his voice when he asked if you had liked it. That had been the start of it all, of an almost full year of phone sex, sexting, and swapping pictures.
”I’m glad to hear that,” you say, trying to sound just as casual even though you can feel butterflies swirl through your stomach. ”I really can’t wait, Mingi. Can’t wait to fuck you and can’t wait to see you, I’ve missed you so much.”
”I’ve missed you too… Get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow at the airport, just look for a handsome tall guy!”
You fall asleep with Mingis laugh ringing in your ears.
The next day, your plane lands at a far emptier airport than the one you’d set off from. It’s early in the day and the sun is high in the sky, occasionally passing behind weak and thin clouds. The air is so different out here than in the big city. The sounds are clearer, the people are kinder, and everything feels so much more simple here.
You sit on a hard airport bench and wait as your phone connects to the internet after having been turned off, seeing all your missed messages coming in. You’re just about to type up a response to Mingis ’You there?’ when a call from him pops up on the screen.
”Yeah, I’m here!” you chirp into the phone.
”’Here’ where? I’m just walking around and-”
”Mingi, you idiot, turn around!” you call out loud enough for him to hear it on the phone and in person, though he’s quite a distance away from you. You could recognize the back of his head anywhere, even though it’s short and bleached blond right now, it’s undeniably Mingi.
He spins around and spots you right away, making eye contact with you across the big, open space. Seeing Mingi in person for the first time in months washes away all nervosity, all the same as it stirs up a new sense of anticipation. You jump to your feet and you're both rushing towards each other, crashing together in a tight hug.
You find yourself closing your eyes, tucking your head into his chest, and inhaling his scent until it makes you lightheaded. He smells just like your Mingi, that same cologne he’s worn since he was 15, the same laundry detergent, and he smells faintly of sunscreen. It’s not the first time you’ve hugged him, not by a long shot, but it feels like the first time you’ve held him like this. Your arms around his middle, taking note of how big he feels in your hold, and you’re thinking about every little detail you’ve missed out on by being away from him. His warmth, his touch, his size, his voice.
”Hi there,” he murmurs, and his voice is so different up close. It’s deeper and darker, it reverberates through his chest. ”Was the flight okay?”
Something about the conversation he’s initiating makes you feel like now is the appropriate time to pull away, and that in turn has you questioning how appropriate that hug had been on your part. Mingi, however, feels cool as ice when he grabs hold of your bag and slings his arm around your shoulder to guide you out of the airport.
”Uh,” you begin, feeling a bit stumped. You continue, ”It was as good as you can expect, but the food sucked, I can’t wait to get home and eat my mom's cooking.”
”Tired of ramen and takeout?” he asks, chuckling.
”You could say that.”
You try to move on past your own weirdness. Mingi is normal and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be as well. Still, there’s a sort of buzz igniting under your skin from being in Mingi's presence again. You suppose it’s always like that, this initial excitement of seeing each other again and getting to update each other on all the things you’ve been up to while knowing you’ve got all the time in the world to hang out. But there’s this nagging voice at the back of your head that is frantically going through all the conversations you’ve had with Mingi on the phone. Late at night, underneath your covers, with Mingi moaning and speaking filth on the speaker. It doesn’t match up with the Mingi in front of you, the Mingi that has been your closest friend for years, and it makes you feel electric.
Mingi pops his trunk open and you load your bags into his car, then get inside and start the half-hour drive back to your hometown.
You only dare to steal little glances over at him. Watching him in the rearview mirror, seeing the sun set his brown eyes ablaze and paint his skin golden. His fingers strum along to the song on the radio on the steering wheel, he’s wearing a single ring on his right hand and his skin is already tanned even though summer has just begun. It’s almost like you’re meeting him all over again with the way you’re soaking in every inch of him, yet it’s forcefully clear to you that none of this is new. Perhaps that would have made it easier if he had just been a stranger where the slate was clean, but this is Mingi and there are things you’re both gonna need to navigate.
You’d foolishly expected that he’d lean in and steal at least a kiss but perhaps more right away, when you were still parked at the airport. More accurately, you had hoped so. It’s all you guys had been talking about for the past months, all the ways you’d want to ravage each other when you finally were face to face again. Apparently, Mingi thinks that can wait.
So you turn your head away, try not to look over at him or imagine his hand holding your thigh instead of the steering wheel. Instead, you focus your attention on the trees outside, and Talking Heads on the radio.
”Do you still like this song?” Mingi asks you. He takes a turn, and this is where the road gets lonesome and there’s more nature than buildings. The song playing is ’This Must be the Place’, and you know Mingi is asking because you’d been the one that bought him this CD for his birthday.
”I could never outgrow Talking Heads, you know that,” you smile at him. You’re starting to settle in now. The fields and the trees are so familiar, the air smells like your childhood, and Mingi is humming along to music you’ve listened to for years. You can do this, it’s not going to be weird, it’s still your best friend Mingi.
The ride back home starts to fill up with idle chatter. You’d think that you’d have run out of topics to talk about by now, seeing as you’d talk on the phone almost every day, but you still find new things to bring up. He parks his car in the driveway outside your house and helps you carry your luggage, all while giggling and joking with you.
It’s only been a year since you’ve been home, you hadn’t been able to come during Christmas, but that’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent away from this very house. Not much has changed, your parents have kept your room exactly like you had left it, but something just feels different. It feels smaller, or you feel bigger. You catch a glimpse of Mingi in your doorway as you start unpacking your bags and for a second your abdomen flutters when you notice just how much of the door opening he can shield with his body. He has filled out a lot, and this shouldn’t be a surprise because you’d noticed it plenty of times before when you came home to visit. You suppose it’s not a surprise, but it’s the first time you’ve felt appreciation for it.
Of course, you had fantasized about his body since you entered his whole thing, and he had sent a lot of pictures that had helped you out with that, but seeing it in person is an entirely new ordeal. You feel your face heat up as your mind flicks through memories of pictures he’s sent you of himself naked, knowing what he looks like underneath his clothes. You have to wonder if Mingis mind is running in the same circles, if he’s as hyperaware of your skin as you are of his, and how he’s able to contain himself as well as he does if that’s the case. You hardly can’t.
”So,” Mingi begins. Your stomach lurches and plunges every time he pauses between words, fearing what may come next. Maybe this is when he breaks your heart and tells you he can’t do what you’ve been speaking about, that it’s just not the same when you’re face to face. You try to seem unbothered by your racing thoughts and decide to hear him out first. He continues, ”Uh, what now? Do you need any more help?”
”No, I’m all good, Mingi,” You’re rifling through clothes and belongings, lining them up on your bed. You can physically feel him behind you in your room as if he’s radiating this electricity and warmth that has your skin tingling.
”Maybe I should get going then. You know, to let you settle in.” You can hear him shift his weight between his feet. It suddenly feels unbearably awkward and strained between you two, and you know that if you keep your back to him it will only get worse. You need to face this head-on, cut through the tension, or at least pretend like the heavy atmosphere isn’t weighing you down.
You don’t want to let Mingi leave like this, without either one of you addressing things. If he leaves like this, with things unspoken and forgotten, the next time you see him it will be like nothing has ever happened. He’ll be right next to you but somehow further away than ever.
You guess you shouldn’t have expected to jump each other's bones the second you saw each other. Maybe that was unrealistic, but it had just felt that way on the phone. You suppose this is more natural, maybe you just have to stick it out until you’re used to being in the same room.
This Mingi in front of you is an entire world different than the one you’d grown up with. Despite the fact that everything is the same, that he’s in your childhood room and the sun is shining through the window just the same. The beam of light illuminates him directly, making his tan skin radiate.
You’re admiring him when he steps forward and closes the distance between you. Only the birds are singing outside your window, but in the total silence of your room, you can hear Mingi suck in a shaky breath before he leans forward and kisses you.
Time stills, the earth feels like it’s tilting or tipping, as if the very makeup of the universe is now irreversibly changed. Mingis mouth is warm and gentle but he’s keeping a pressure that has your mind whirling, just the way he’s kissing you with so much intent. You’re both breathing heavily and the air escaping his nose is so sweet that you can’t stop yourself from inhaling as much as possible, dizzying yourself to consume every bit of him that you can.
He’s already close, but he shuffles even nearer without breaking apart from the kiss. You can now feel his body against yours and Mingi moves his hands up to hold each side of your head, keeping you in place as he kisses and licks into your mouth. For some reason you’re so very present inside your head, thinking about each little detail of the way he kisses, reminding yourself to remember this moment forever.
You can feel when he starts to pull away so you chase after him, deepening the kiss for another second before he parts from it entirely. He’s just as breathless as you are, and there’s something in Mingi's eyes that you’ve never seen before. He focuses on your lips and leans in for another kiss that ends a moment too quickly.
Mingis hand ruffles your hair up, and his voice is laced with a laugh when he says a drawn-out ’bye’ and leaves your room.
You can feel your heartbeat in your throat, can hear the blood pumping and wooshing from it all the way through your body, throughout each delicate vein in your ears. Your lips are tingling when you reach up to touch them, almost in disbelief at the fact that Mingi had just been kissing you right there. Your mouth is slick with his spit, and your finger moves cardinally to gather it up and plunge into your mouth so you can savor it.
You fall down on the bed, staring up at your ceiling, and close your eyes to relive the kiss as you imagine what it will be like the next time you see Mingi.
Almost a full week passes until you see him again. Your family practically swarms you for the first few days, your parents being overjoyed to have you back invite your grandparents to welcome you home and your favorite aunt comes to see you with your two young cousins. You get unpacked quickly enough, when you manage to find time between family visits and long drawn-out meals, and before you know it five days have passed. Mingi stays busy too though, he sends a few occasional texts about work and though he lives right across from you, you never even catch a glimpse of him.
Sometimes you lay in your bed at night and feel your heart race up at the thought that there is only a few yards of grass and asphalt road between the two of you. It’s a massive change from the last three years when you had been miles and miles apart. Now, it feels almost like you can sense him. Just across the street, breathing and shuffling in bed. You can picture him so well, long eyelashes resting against his cheekbone, his skin flushed from sleep, his long limbs tangled up in a thin blanket. Your hand slips inside your underwear with a hot fire fueled by embarrassment and insecurity burning in your stomach.
Your imagination moves between recollections of words he’s spoken and pictures he’s sent, to the image of him in his bed right now. He’s so very close, but so very unaware of how much that precise fact affects you. Each day away from him only tightens the strings in your body and you grow more frustrated that you haven’t actualized any of the promises you’d made on the phone. At the same time, you find yourself quietly thankful for the imposed distance. Mingi isn’t even here, but he still has such an impact on you that it has you rushedly getting yourself off with your face buried in your pillow to keep quiet.
You’re so deeply affected by all this, while Mingi is fine. You’re the one busy, but when Mingi comes home from work and has some downtime he doesn’t even text to see if you can spend time. Seemingly, he doesn’t care to find out when you can see each other again.
On day six you’re sitting in your garden with your mom and aunt. Your cousins are playing in the grass in front of you and calling for your attention. The sun is high and hot in the sky, and Mingis car has been home for a few hours. You’ve checked your phone multiple times to make sure it’s not on silent, or if you’ve somehow missed a text from him, but it’s been quiet all day.
Then, a car pulls up to Mingi's house. You recognize it in an instant, it’s Yunhos old Camaro that he had inherited from his dad when he got his license, the same car he’d posted a thousand pictures of on social media. He had even let you drive it for an entire block two summers ago. The paint job has sparkles of blue in it that glimmer in the sun, and you somehow feel like it’s taunting you. The front door of Mingis house opens and he emerges in a pair of short shorts and a t-shirt that he has cut the sleeves off of, and he’s got a pair of sunglasses sitting on his face. A feeling worse than rejection rushes through you when Yunho rolls down the window and waves to you, finally prompting Mingi to also notice you sitting there.
Mingi raises his hand to wave but the movement is cut shorter than Yunho's enthusiastic full-bodied gesture. Mingi gets in the car and the engine roars as Yunho drives away. The warm air feels bittersweet when it’s filled by the smell of exhaust fumes.
That night you’re lying in bed and you’re inching close to sleep when your room lights up for a second. In the haze of sleep, you assume it to be the headlights of a car, but it happens again until the stream of light persists entirely and you finally get up to look outside your window. It’s clear instantly where it’s coming from because Mingi is hanging halfway out his window with a flashlight in his hand.
Though he’s quite a distance away, you can see him well enough to tell that he’s shirtless and his hair is messy, but your focus is pulled from that to trying to decode what gesture he’s making with his hand. You shrug, and he disappears from his window for a few seconds before he pops back with his phone and starts pointing to it.
You search for your phone and open it to find 4 missed calls from Mingi. His contact picture pops up on your phone and you hurry to answer.
”What the fuck, Mingi?” you whisper into your phone.
”Were you sleeping?” he chuckles, and you can see his shoulders shake with laughter. Every little bit of this makes you want to hang up, or scream, or march right over to his house and have a go at him. How dare he go days without speaking to you, then call you up in the middle of the night and laugh as if you haven’t been in agony this past week? How dare he kiss you breathless in this very room and make no attempts at reliving it?
”No, I was just about to fall asleep!” you huff.
”Why are you whispering?” Mingi asks.
”Because my parents are asleep, dumbass.”
”Hm,” he ponders. ”So that would be a no if I asked you to sneak out and come over?”
You hope he doesn’t hear your breath hitch at the thought that he wants you to come over in the middle of the night.
”Of course, it’s a no! My mom is already peeved because of Yunho coming by earlier today. She hates how loud that car is. She’s gonna think you’re a bad influence, riding around in that and making me sneak out.”
”Imagine her reaction when she finds out you drove that car before you got your license, and I wasn’t even there. It was all Yunho,” Mingi jokes.
”Shut up! God, my mom has been warning me about him for years. She used to be convinced I was going to end up with him and it was her biggest nightmare,” you say. Your window is cracked to let in some air now that it’s cooler outside. The night is quiet, and all you can hear is Mingi breathing at the other end of the call. It’s quiet for a moment, and you can see that Mingis face is scrunched up.
”You and Yunho?” he scoffs. ”Why would she think that?”
”I don’t know, it’s not like she had any reason to. She’s just weird like that, you know how my mom is.”
It’s silent yet again, Mingi just sighing.
Your stomach does a somersault when a thought strikes you and you have to ask, ”You’re not jealous, are you?”
”Jealous? Of- of Yunho?” Mingi laughs breathlessly. You just hum, and you can’t take your eyes off of him where he’s sitting in his window. Mingi sucks in a deep breath and regains his voice, ”I have no reason to be jealous of him when I’m the one with your nudes in my phone.”
Something about that makes you curl up on yourself, suddenly feeling very shy that you’re only in your underwear and a thin old tank top. It brings up another thought that has plagued you. The pictures you’d sent were all meticulously posed and manipulated to be as appealing as possible. It had been your body, yes, but the most perfect version of it possible. Here, in your pajamas with your skin glistening from sweat, hunched over yourself, you hardly think Mingi can find any resemblance between the picture-perfect version and the one in front of his eyes.
”Oh yeah?” you murmur. You can’t let him see you falter, can’t let him call your bluff. You straighten your back and pretend to be more interested in something under your nails. ”You could have a lot more than just pictures, you know.”
Mingi lets out a noise that’s somewhere between a moan and a breath, just audible enough for his phone to pick it up.
”Fuck, look at me,” he says, and you do. You just do.
Mingi stands up, keeping his phone pressed to his ear with one hand while his free hand moves in a long, slow caressing motion down his upper body. It’s your turn to feel jealous now, stupidly jealous of Mingis own hands for getting to touch him. His fingers reach the waistband of his boxers and you nervously stop breathing as you imagine them dipping inside. His hand moves just a bit further down though, where Mingi wraps his entire palm around his dick.
”Can you see that?” he asks. He uses his hand to move his hard cock under the light material of his underwear, making sure to jut his hips out towards the moonlight so you can see every second of his show.
”I can see you, oh my god. Are you out of your mind? Mingi, what if-”
”No one’s around, no one’s gonna see except for you,” he assures you. You lick your lips, thinking back to what Mingis mouth had tasted like.
”You’re crazy,” you whisper to him.
”You make me crazy,” he says with a smirk. ”Would you lift your shirt up for me?”
Your fingers have dug into your thigh without you noticing until now that Mingi is directing attention to your body. There’s so much tension inside your body that your breathing feels labored as if there are coils fastened inside you and everything Mingi says and does tighten up every bit of your internal structure. He has you feeling lightheaded with words alone.
Sensing your hesitance, Mingi speaks again. ”You don’t have to, I just really want to see you.”
The last sentence has you moving without thinking, getting up on your knees on the seat under your window. You take a quick glance around the street and in the windows of nearby neighbors. The whole world is asleep, only you and Mingi are awake.
You use your free hand to pull your tank top as high as possible, exposing your stomach and chest to Mingi who has stopped touching himself and is keeping razor-sharp focus on you.
”You-… Thank you, you’re gorgeous, do I ever tell you that?” Mingi’s voice is low and hushed. Until now he has sounded loud and confident, and if you didn’t know any better you would think that Mingi has gotten shy. He probably didn’t expect you to follow through with his request.
You haven’t spoken in minutes and you’re not sure if you could make any noise without it coming out as a whine, but luckily Mingi speaks up once more.
”Can you get into bed? I’m gonna lay down, please join me, please, would you touch yourself with me?” Mingi pleas. He waits a second for the words to register, for you to spring into action before he does so himself. Part of you wants to stay and keep drinking in the sight of his body, but the expectations of what he’s going to have you doing has you obeying his words.
”I’m in bed now,” your voice is still hushed, and there’s a layer of excitement in it that brings on a wave of embarrassment.
”I am too, I’m gonna- I’m taking my underwear off. It’s been so long, I just need to…” Mingi trails off. His end of the call is muffled, and a little distorted, and you can hear him shuffling to get his boxers off.
”It’s been so long since what?” you ask to clarify.
”Since we last did this, since I last came…” he answers. Fuck.
”Have you not been cumming since we last had phone sex?”
Mingi quiets down for a second before he lets out a breathy laugh.
”Have you?” he asks with a tone in his voice you can’t make out, but it has your cheeks heating up and your entire body running ice cold.
You turn silent now, but it’s clear from how Mingi is laughing under his breath that he doesn’t need an answer from you to know the truth.
”Oh my god. Well, tell me then, how many times have you made yourself cum since our last call?” Mingi asks. He sounds so cocky, so full of himself that you don’t know whether to roll your eyes or shove your hand between your legs and revel in this stupidly hot version of Mingi.
”Maybe two or three times,” you mumble, hoping that he doesn’t catch it.
”Let's just pretend I believe that. What have you been thinking about?”
You whine, feeling your entire body surge with shame and humiliation. Despite all of it, you’ve bunched up your blanket between your legs and without thinking about it you’ve started rutting against it slowly.
”Mingi, please…”
”Tell me.”
”I think about you. I always do. I’ve been thinking about that kiss, and-…” Your thought is interrupted by a sound on the other end of the line, along with Mingis soft hums. ”Mingi, are you jacking off to me telling you I fantasize about you?”
”I’m jacking off to your voice,” he says so matter of fact it knocks the air out of you. He continues, ”The fact that it’s about me only makes it better.”
”Oh my god,” you sigh, closing your eyes and letting your hand move where you need it most. Mingis voice is sweet and gentle as he moans with each stroke, and his phone is so close to his mouth you’re tricked into believing he’s right next to you, breathing and huffing.
”I wish you were here right now,” he says, sort of under his breath, a little quiet. It feels a little secretive when he says it, like when you were younger and he would have you turn your back to him as he did the same. With your backs pressed together, he would tell you all his deepest secrets, and when you’d turn around again you would both pretend like nothing had happened. It’s a memory you have replayed a lot more recently than ever before, just due to how similar it feels to this arrangement you have with Mingi. As long as you aren’t faced with each other, as long as your backs are turned you can do and say whatever you want.
Instead of sulking about it, you force yourself to play along.
”I do too, I need you so bad,” you whisper, and none of it is a lie.
”Need to see you cum for me, fuck, I need you to make me cum,” he moans. It echoes through your entire head, that moan and those words, and it has you rolling onto your back and pulling your underwear down your legs so you can touch yourself properly.
”You’ll make me cum just by saying that, Mingi,” you say, pathetically so. Something about Mingi has you reaching the edge faster than anything else.
”Fuck, me too. Just hearing you say my name is enough to make me cum right now. I’ve never felt this fucking good,” Mingi groans.
”Mingi,” you let out again, out of pure instinct. ”Mingi, please give me permission to cum, I need it, please!”
He does, in a string of words and breathless moans he allows you to cum with him. Your orgasm rolls through your entire body in a blinding flash, and by the time it’s over you can’t gauge if multiple minutes or just a few seconds have passed. Your phone is pressed so tight to your ear that pearls of sweat coat the screen.
”You there?” Mingis voice is raspy, all fucked out.
You come to, clearing your throat, ”I’m here, sorry. Holy shit.”
”What are you doing tomorrow?” he asks. You don’t have time to feel overjoyed or even finish your train of thought (of oh, fuck, it’s finally happening) before Mingi continues, ”Yunho’s throwing this… thing, at his house. There’s gonna be a barbeque, we’re gonna get drinks, and he says it’s going to be chill but you know how he is. It’s gonna end up being a party by the end of the night.”
You’re staring up at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers Mingi helped you set up when you were 15, and the answer is so obvious you don’t have to think about it.
”Yeah, I’ll go with you,” you respond.
”Well… I’ll take you, but maybe we shouldn’t make it too obvious when we’re there. All of our friends will be there, maybe it’s best to lay low?”
You clench your eyes shut. It makes you want to scream so loud it’d pierce your wall and travel across the street and through to his bedroom. A week ago he had been so concerned about things turning weird between you two and you’d written it off as a worry about your friendship, about how things would change after all the words and naked pictures you had exchanged. You hadn’t considered for a second that Mingi would be concerned for his reputation.
”Yeah,” you mutter. ”No, yeah, you’re right.”
”Okay then,” he says, so cheerily that you feel shame wash over you. ”I’ll pick you up tomorrow at five then?”
You hum in response and swap goodbyes before he ends the call and the beeps ring through your ear.
Your sleep that night is weighed down by a worry you can't dispel even after you wake up. You hardly feel rested, and your parent's voices barely register when they speak to you at breakfast. A lot of thoughts linger in your head, unshakeable doubts about whether things with Mingi are really going to be as okay as you had thought when you were in school.
Things had felt so much simpler then, like this steadfast belief that it would be just as it had always been. You had returned every single summer and were able to pick back up your friendship with Mingi with no trouble, despite all the months you had spent apart.
At least you would get to see all your friends again. Summer being in full swing would mean that everyone would be at their happiest, most free, possibly stupid, and risky behavior.
The day passes by sluggishly, you're merely counting down the hours. You try to read a book while lying in the sun in your backyard, but find that the words just flow together. You check your phone and see the half-hour call in your log from yesterday night, you’re just staring at Mingi's name and contact picture. It's just letters and numbers on a screen, but it's also a journal of your entire relationship. You can go back and see every single one, remember where things had started and where things had escalated. It took you weeks to send the first suggestive pictures to each other and they had been modest back then. A picture of your dark silhouette in the mirror, and Mingi replying with a blurry picture of his thighs in the dark of his room.
It's just another reminder that what you've got with Mingi is all contained in this piece of technology you can fit in your hand. Nothing is real or tangible, except for a few minutes of kissing. That's all you've got that counts as something; Mingi kissing you in your childhood bedroom for a few very good minutes before departing and ignoring you for days.
The kiss lives vividly in your head as you shower and get dressed.
You're sitting on your windowsill and watching the clock tick closer to five when the front door of Mingis house opens and he walks outside. He's got a pair of sunglasses on that he lifts off of his nose to peek up at your window, and when he spots you he waves and motions for you to come down.
You float down the stairs and out your door. The air is light and breezy outside despite the way the sun has been beaming down all day. Mingi is dressed in yet another shirt that shows off his arms, the slight tan line from his work t-shirt that he tries to even out is obvious to you up close and you squeeze his arm to tease him for it.
Both of you sit down in his car. The windows are rolled down to let air flow through and Mingi sets the car stereo to a low volume so you can faintly hear Tears for Fears play in the background. The engine hums pleasantly in comparison to Yunhos Camaro when Mingi starts the car. You watch his hands, waiting for him to shift the stick into first gear, but it doesn't happen.
Instead, time moves in both directions, very slowly but all too quickly as he wraps his hand around the back of your head and pulls you in for a kiss. Every single thought that has plagued you throughout the day vanishes the second his lips are on yours. It's replaced by the fact that these same lips had moaned your name less than 24 hours ago, that he had sounded so desperate when he told you he wished you were there.
Mingi deepens the kiss this time, letting it go on for longer than last time. When you have to part from it to take a breath Mingi trails his kisses from the corner of your mouth to under your ear. The kisses are chaste, barely there, but every single one leaves your skin tingling.
He doesn't return to your lips, he pulls back and regains his breath and his smile is so cocky when he reverses the car out of the driveway. You can't help but giggle then, and Mingi turns up the volume to let the music blare through the entire car. This is the Mingi you've missed, the one that drives through your neighborhood and ignores all the grouchy people who turn around and stare disgruntedly. He sings along too loudly, straining his voice to hit notes that sound awful even though you know that he's a great singer.
Everything feels as it always has when you pull up to Yunhos house and there are cars parked up and down the street. Mingi parks and as you're unbuckling your belt you see him look in the rearview mirror, grooming his hair and then wiping his mouth to remove your lip balm. It stings for a second but you don't let it persist. You just get out of his car and the two of you walk towards Yunhos backyard.
There is a voice in the back of your head that reminds you of the distance Mingi puts between you, this very conscious measurement that would leave no doubt for all your friends that you're strictly platonic. You push that away too, and make way towards all your old school friends instead. Seonghwa is the first to pull you into a hug, and it's all you need for the bubble to burst on all your worries.
Soon enough you're all laughing, the backyard is quickly filling with people and Yunho is having a hard time keeping up with all the people demanding a burger. The afternoon air smells just like high school, and the cheap alcohol mixed in the punch is just like the one you used to drink back then. The only difference is that everyone looks so much older, and the conversations have switched from homework, crushes, and drama to future plans and jobs.
"So what now?" Seonghwa asks you when a few hours have passed and the sun is setting. It's not getting dark, the sun is just changing from blue to lilac. You turn to him, feeling the way the alcohol has affected your vision, the way it's swimming a bit.
"What now?" you ask.
"I mean, are you back for good? Are you gonna settle down, get a job, do the whole small-town thing?" he jokes, but the question he poses is a valid one.
"Hm," you ponder for a second, looking up at the sky as if an answer is gonna rain down on you. "I guess I don't know. I need to get a job, but I'll give myself the summer to figure it out. It feels like the last one before things truly.. you know.."
"Change," Seonghwa interjects. "Before we truly grow up."
The conversation quiets for a moment before you both burst into laughter.
"Jesus, we always get so somber, don't we?" Seonghwa laughs.
"Remember prom? We went out for some air and you couldn't stop talking about the universe because you looked up at the stars for a second," you say.
"I don't remember that, I just remember Hongjoong going off on me because I teared up and ruined the makeup he spent an hour doing on me," Seonghwa recollects. You could remember that. You also remembered the eyeshadow Hongjoong had smeared across Mingis's eyelid, the messy dark brown he had lined his eyes with because Mingi refused to stay still for too long.
None of you had brought any dates that night, your entire friend group had decided to just go together and spend the night dancing with each other. When you had gotten a dance with Mingi towards the end of the night his makeup had started running and you had brushed your thumb under his eye. Nothing about that action or the dance, or the night as a whole, had been close to romantic. He had just been Mingi, the same Mingi as always, he walked you home that night with his arm around your shoulder just like he had every day after school.
It's only with the wisdom of hindsight you can identify little actions to speak otherwise. You can't recall what Sans eyes had looked like when you danced with him, but you remember in great detail how the lights had twinkled in Mingi's irises. All you remember from your dance with Wooyoung is that his hands had been too sweaty to hold, but you can go back in your memory to when Mingi had leaned his head on your shoulder and sang along softly to the song that was playing.
"What is it like when you talk to Mingi?" Seonghwa pulls you out of your thoughts. You don't know when your eyes close, but when you open them again the sky is starting to burn a vibrant pink.
"Well... I don't know. It's good. We talk about all sorts of things," you try to sound matter of fact, very casual. Reminding yourself of Mingis words, lay low.
"Yeah, you must," Seonghwa remarks, a chuckle sounding through his voice. It has you turning to him, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
"Meaning?" you question.
"Just that there must be substance to your conversations, seeing as Mingi excuses himself from every night out when you call," he says.
"Yeah," you attempt to brush it off as a meaningless piece of information, but it feels like a lot more. You didn't know Mingi would rush home to talk to you.
Seonghwa hums, and your eyes are pulled to the ground where you've been digging your heel into the grass.
"I guess you guys have always been closer than the rest of us. Living across from each other, being childhood friends, all that," he says. There's no hidden meaning or intention behind his words, you know Seonghwa well enough to deduct that, but it still feels like he's trying to catch you out.
"Yeah," you repeat, absent-mindedly. "Suppose so."
Seonghwas mouth twitches a little as if he wants to say something else, but he keeps it shut. You're thankful, because even if he can read between the lines of your and Mingi's strange relationship, the fact that he doesn't say it out loud serves as reassurance to you. It's the same thin veil that you and Mingi drape yourselves in. Unspoken meaning unchanged.
A friend comes over and offers to top off your and Seonghwas glasses, and you decide to get up on your feet and move on from the sudden gloom that took over.
The music is loud and the air gets chillier as the clouds twist amongst pink and orange. You’re talking to Yunho and telling him the story about your mom's disapproval of his car when he notices your shoulders quiver with the drop in temperature. He fetches one of his flannels for you, helping you thread your arms through and telling you that you need another drink to warm up. Yunho makes you something stronger than the diluted punch, and it goes to your head with haste.
It does warm you up, and it pulls you from reality a little. It’s easier to laugh along with Yunhos jokes this way, without thinking about the tension between you and Mingi. It feels good and safe to just be worriless, to feel the wind in your hair and be surrounded by the sound of your friend's voices mixing together.
Your legs are getting wobblier, but Yunho catches you before you fall and he lets you stay posted against him.
You’re just watching the conversation your friends are having without joining in when you feel two hands on your waist. You don’t have to look back to know that it’s Mingi. The smell of his cologne is familiar enough to alert you.
”I think I better get them home,” Mingis voice is warm and round behind your ear. For a second you feel a little bitter, you kind of want to shake his hands off of you and scoff at him because he’s intervening just when you’re truly starting to enjoy yourself without spending a single thought on him. Is that not what he wanted? You’re keeping the secret, you’re not drawing any eyes towards you two. He’s doing that all on his own.
Had it been three years ago, you think your friends had been protesting your leave. You’re all grown up now though, and everyone is understanding when Mingi wraps his arm around your waist, and you both wave goodbye.
Mingi helps you into his car. Tears for Fears is still playing when he turns the car on and starts driving, and you feel a sort of agitation that you can’t place. He doesn’t speak a single word for a minute or two, and the mood inside the car is unbearable.
”I don’t think anyone could tell,” you say. Mingis face is bare of emotion, and you find yourself with an urge to placate him. ”We did well, don’t you think? I didn’t make anything obvious.”
You don’t know what response you expect to get from Mingi, but there’s a palpable shock within you when he pulls the car over to the side of the road and turns to you.
”What?” you ask. Mingis eyes soften when they flick over your entire body, to then end up at your face.
”Did you really.. worry about that?” Mingi wonders softly.
”Huh? I thought-… Yes, I worried about it, because you did. I mean, you told me we needed to lay low.” You’re starting to get thoroughly confused and frustrated.
”I know, but I didn’t think you’d drink so much and cuddle up to Yunho because of it,” Mingi says, his tone quickly working up to a sharpness you’ve never heard in him before.
”Drink so much?” you gasp. ”I was just having fun! It had nothing to do with you! Not everything is about you, Mingi, or about us. I don’t worry about it as much as you do. Believe it or not.”
”I don’t worry about it,” Mingi sounds accused.
”Clearly you do though. You take me to this party and give me instructions on how to behave, then spend the whole time ignoring me. Just like you did all of last week. Clearly, you have to feel ashamed, or- or…” you trail off, feeling your voice crack. Mingi sucks in a deep breath and leans closer, putting his hand on your knee.
”Please,” he urges, and there’s something in his voice that breaks your heart. ”Please, don’t think I could ever be ashamed of you.”
”Then what, Mingi?” you ask quietly, starting to feel yourself break now. Tears are starting to well up and cloud your vision. You continue, ”Do you just not want me? I get if it’s different when we’re face to face, I know it might not be what you expected, I understand if you don’t find me-”
”Stop it!” Mingi is almost shouting now, startling you. ”It’s nothing like that, you have to believe me. Stop saying these things.”
His hand lifts from your knee to hold your face where he wipes away a tear from your cheek. You don’t know what to say, even though there’s a part of you that wants to keep insisting. Mingi isn’t offering any kind of explanation or even an excuse, he’s not saying anything to quell your worries, and his hands on you are not enough.
”Kiss me. Please,” you whisper. There’s more you want to say, like prove it, prove that you want me. Kiss me and mean it.
”I’m not going to kiss you when you’re drunk and I’m sober,” Mingi says, offering up a solemn smile.
”I’m not though,” you argue. This entire conversation has been sobering. You’re still tipsy, your head feels a little heavy and your vision is still floating but you think you can blame it on your tears as much as you can blame it on alcohol.
”Well, you’re drunk enough that I don’t feel comfortable kissing you.” Mingis thumb strokes over your cheek to comfort you. It’s enough to calm you a little, because that you can take. You don’t think you’d want to kiss him either if the roles had been reversed.
”Okay,” you mutter. ”Are you sure it’s not because you don’t want me?”
Mingi sighs, ”We’ll talk about it tomorrow when you’re not-”
”I’m not drunk, Mingi.”
”Okay, okay. But I still want to do this tomorrow, when we’re both thinking clearly. We’re just misunderstanding each other, and this isn’t how I wanted it to go,” he tells you. He leans forward and kisses the top of your head instead, just above your hairline. It must be calculated on his part, to kiss you where your skin can’t feel the warmth of his lips.
”Okay,” you say again. This time Mingi lets out a little laugh at your dissatisfaction.
He starts the car back up and takes off to go home, leaving his hand on your thigh throughout the drive. When he pulls up to his house and you get out of the car your legs feel like jelly, and you realize you’re probably not as sober as you’d like to believe.
”Mingi?” you ask. He rushes to your side to hold you up, though that’s not what you meant. ”Can I sleep here tonight? You know how my mom is, she’d flip if she saw me-”
”I wasn’t planning on letting you go home like this, don’t worry,” he laughs.
So, with his arm around your waist, Mingi guides you inside and up the stairs to his room. It’s dark and you have to remind yourself to be quiet to not wake Mingi's family. While he leaves the room to fetch another blanket you sit down on his bed and look around his room.
It’s been a while since you’ve been here but not much has changed. You know for a fact that Mingi is still just as entertained by his action figures now as he had been at 13. It makes you laugh to see them all lined up on his shelf, right next to a couple of books that you had gifted him. He had forced his way through a couple of them and called you to complain about every choice the main character made.
You’re comforted by how much of his room remains the same. This is a place where you can remember and picture Mingi. By his big stereo, switching CD’s. Cutting out pictures of his friends to add to his collage wall.
Mingi comes back to his room with a blanket and a pillow that he throws next to you on the bed.
You’re watching his every move. When his eyes land on you he lets out a sound you can only read as disgust.
”Of course he gave you that,” he complains, more to himself than to you.
You can’t help but follow his line of sight though, finding that he’s looking at Yunhos flannel shirt.
”What’s so bad about it?” you wonder. Being under Mingis gaze always fills you with a sort of insecurity that has you twisting and turning.
”It's like, his move. Lending out his shirt. And then letting you lean on him like that..” Mingi mutters.
”Why would Yunho ever pull a move on me?” you ask incredulously.
”For the same reason I would, I assume,” he says. ”You’re really hot.”
A heat rushes to your abdomen and you can’t meet Mingis eyes anymore. Today has left you feeling anything but desired by him, but you don’t think he’s lying right now. He wouldn’t lie about finding you hot just minutes after refusing to kiss you.
”It wouldn’t matter what Yunho thinks of me. Like you said last night, you’re the one who has my nudes. Right?” you say.
Mingi sits down next to you, looking at his hands in his lap instead of at you.
”What if he wanted more than just your nudes?” he asks. This, too, feels like he’s asking himself the question. And you don’t know what to answer.
You don’t think Yunho poses any threat whatsoever, he’s just friendly and flirty by nature. But you let yourself think about what Mingi is implying for a second. What if he - or anyone else - would want more of you than Mingi does? Someone who could offer you a relationship that wouldn’t require secrecy. Someone who would bring you around his friends and hold your hand for everyone to see. Someone who would properly date you and want a relationship, as opposed to dirty phone sex at odd hours of the night.
You realize you’d always pick Mingi above all that, no matter if you had to have him only partially. If he was never yours.
You open your mouth to respond but shut it again when you can’t find the right words.
Mingi looks over at you. He speaks, ”Can’t you take it off?”
”Take it off of me,” you whisper back.
His mouth twitches into a small smile.
”It’d be a lot sexier if I wasn’t taking Yunhos clothes off of you the first time I undress you,” he still sounds displeased, but his hands work the shirt off of you anyways. He discards it to the floor, as far away as it can come.
”These are all mine,” you say, meaning the clothes you have on. ”You can take those off.”
Mingi lets out a drawn-out breath, something to collect himself. His hands pause at the hem of your top even though you’ve already given consent, waiting for you to nod until he starts pulling it over your head.
Silence permeates in Mingis bedroom as he continues undressing you. It’s just the wind rustling his curtains that disrupts the quiet. He guides you to lie down so he can unbutton your shorts to take them off. His hands are so gentle and his touch is soft, when he has finished taking your socks off and all your clothes are on the floor except for your underwear he leans down and presses a sweet kiss right above your knee.
”Take yours off too, please,” you say softly. He’s not quite as delicate with himself, he doesn’t make a show of it. You can’t help but stare though, trying to really commit this to memory since it’s the very first time you’re seeing him strip for you, even if you know it won’t be followed up with all the things you’ve talked about on the phone.
Your eyes flick all over him, down his toned arms and up his torso as he pulls his shirt over his head, across his broad chest. You watch his fingers work the button on his shorts open, revealing his dark underwear. He’s not hard, at least not fully, and it’s strangely intimate to be so close to his dick for the first time but not in a sexual manner. Everything about it makes your heart feel heavy, you’re somehow aware of each pump of it, how it’s speeding up at the mere sight of Mingi.
Mingi, your Mingi, that hasn’t ever been yours. Not really, not properly, but still somehow.
You want him on top of you so bad, to finally feel him in the ways you’ve dreamt about for a full year. Instead, Mingi climbs in bed with you and pulls you close.
He is soft and warm in all the spots your bodies are connected and intertwined. You fall asleep to the sounds of his breath coming out slow and steady.
You wake to a breeze of air over your face. At first, all you can hear is the chirps of birds outside and the distant noise of cars driving around. You don’t need to open your eyes to know that it’s the middle of the day, the sun is bright in that midday way, bright enough that there isn’t a total blackness even when you screw your eyes shut further.
You just turn around and try to escape from it by burying your face into the pillow. The texture of the pillow feels strange and unfamiliar, and the more you come to you realize it also doesn’t smell like your bedding. It smells like Mingi, you realize, and shoot up in a startle.
You don’t have time to wonder why the bed is empty next to you, because you can hear steps on the stairs and seconds later the bedroom door creaks open. Through a squint you can see Mingi in the same state you remember him falling asleep. In just his underwear he walks up to the bed and sets down a glass of water and a plate, before petting his hand over your hair.
”Good morning,” he greets you, smiling big.
”Mm, yeah,” you hum back, still drowsy. It’s far more comfortable to let your eyes close again and just lean into Mingi's affection.
”You okay? Are you hungover?” Mingi asks.
”Yeah, but not from drinking,” you murmur. ”It’s from you yelling at me.”
”I wasn’t yelling!” There’s an undertone to his voice, an actual worry and fear that you’d be feeling a certain way today after last night's conversation.
”I know you weren’t, Mingi. I’m just messing with you, I remember every bit of that conversation,” you assure him. He lets out a sigh of relief, his thumb stroking over your temple.
”That was going to be my next question,” he tells you. ”So you remember the whole night then?”
You nod your head under his hand.
”Do you want to talk about it?” he asks you.
The question stabs at something inside your sternum. Of course, you want to talk, in reality, there are a thousand times you’ve held yourself back from saying to him and there would be nothing more freeing than telling Mingi all of it. There’s just never a time and place for it though and you’ve come to terms that there never will be. It would take astronomical changes to allow you to say what you want. Yes, Mingi, I’m in love with you and probably have been all my life. Mingi, it took us sexting to make me realize you’re the only one I could ever picture myself with.
You had of course let yourself fantasize a couple of times, but the details of any imaginary and hypothetical relationship between you two would quickly obscure, and Mingi was often a perpetrator in that. It would present itself on days when you lived in the afterglow of a nighttime call. You’d walk on clouds with the memories of Mingi moaning your name, then check social media and be greeted with photos of him with his arm around your lifelong friends and strangers you would get nauseous picturing Mingi talking to. Your name wouldn’t even come up in conversation, he’d appear single to them because after all, he was.
So you wouldn’t often entertain the idea of being something more. You’d just treat it as a passing thought, boil it down to what it was, a neuronal connection gone to grief.
You guess you had hoped to see something in Mingi to completely deny these thoughts. Like, a first kiss that you wouldn’t be able to break away from. Or the moment you finally have sex for the first time and it being this out-of-body experience that ends with both of you crying and confessing your love. Like a scene out of a movie.
You could even have survived the opposite. If the first kiss had gone sour and the spark died before it even ignited. At the very least, you would have an answer to all your questions. Instead of being tethered to this middle ground where there’s an undeniable passion and need for each other, but a considerable distance keeping you apart.
Though there were things you’d want to say, there are none you could verbalize.
”I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” you say, finally. To convince Mingi of this, you open your eyes and roll onto your back so you can look at him. He looks unconvinced, so you continue, ”I think I was just confused and upset. I don’t know why. Maybe because you’ve barely spoken to me since I came back home. I had just… expected more.”
You find yourself surprised that you’re telling the truth. It’s not what you had meant to say, but it’s true and innocent enough. Mingis hand rests on the side of your face, where his fingers fiddle with your hair, and for a second his eyes focus on that, before coming back to yours.
”I don’t have any excuse,” he says. ”I guess I could say that I kept seeing your relatives show up at your house and I thought it’d be rude to whisk you away from all that just to fuck you. But I think the more time passed, the harder it got to..”
”Yeah,” you agree. ”To fuck.”
He smiles at your choice of words and nods.
”Have you not happened to notice I haven’t initiated a single kiss between us, Mingi? I’m nervous too. It’s different in real life. It was much easier on the phone to just do things,” you say.
”Would it make it easier if I told you I’d really like to kiss right now?” Mingi asks.
There won’t ever come a time when the prospect of Mingi wanting to kiss you won’t send a jolt of electricity through each and every vein in your body. Nor will there ever be an instance where you won’t act on that will, especially since it seems that there will be a finite number of them. As you prop yourself up and lean in to kiss Mingi you realize that, along with this being the very first time that you initiate a kiss with him, you’re also one kiss closer to the last kiss you’ll ever have with him.
Because there will be a last time. If you keep going like this there is no other possible outcome, there will simply come a day when Mingis's eyes set on someone else and your arrangement is concluded. There’s not an if, it’s simply a when, and every kiss from now on is going to lead up to that last one. You can’t decide if you should hold out and stave off that last one for as long as you can or fit in as many as possible until then.
All these thoughts disperse when your mouth meets Mingis and he kisses you back. It’s hard to think of anything other than his warm lips or his tongue softly licking against yours. It’s more playful this time compared to the last two, today you’re both feeling each other out and learning what to do, what feels good.
You find yourself out of rhythm at times, the position you’re in is a little awkward, and you fumble through a few kisses to lean closer to Mingi. You feel your stomach swirl when you realize that none of this deters Mingi, that you can in fact feel him smile and breathe out something between a hum and a moan every time you come crashing against his mouth. His big hand comes up to your jaw, long fingers curling around the back of your head to deepen the kiss.
Things get heady so fast with Mingi, he works you up so incredibly quickly, and it’s obvious from the sounds he’s making that he’s just as affected. He doesn’t pull away for a second, his hand keeps your head in place and he continues to clumsily kiss you as he guides you down onto the bed.
The air in Mingi's room is hot from the summer sun shining through his window. It’s not until now you realize that the only thing separating you from Mingis body has been his thin blanket. He starts peeling it away, and it’s then you remember that Mingi had undressed you the night before. A jolt of panic shoots through you now that Mingi can see you, entirely nude except for your underwear, in the warm, bright light of his room. You find comfort in the fact that he’s undressed too, but with Mingis eyes taking you in it’s hard to feel relaxed.
Mingi leans in for a long, passionate kiss, and against your mouth he muffles, ”You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Your head is swimming, Mingi keeps on kissing you, getting softer and more careful as he moves down your neck and continues to lavish you with compliments. So pretty, kiss, gorgeous, kiss, breathtaking, kiss. And if you had any doubts, he squashes every single one when he kisses from your collarbone, over your chest and down your stomach, all the way down to your hips.
He plants his hands on each of your thighs, not grabbing or putting any pressure, but you can still feel the weight of them.
”Is this okay?” he asks quietly. He kisses just above the waistband of your underwear, and at the same time, his hands nudge your legs apart. Your breath catches in your throat and you can only nod and let his hands move your legs to where he wants them.
”What about your family?” you ask him, suddenly realizing the reality of where you are.
”No one’s home. It’s just us,” he says. ”So don’t hold back on me please.”
His shoulders are big and broad between your legs. The sun illuminates him so prettily, his tan skin glows, and every little hair on his body is lit up by the sun. The heat has left a thin layer of sweat on his skin and it highlights his muscles in just the right way. He’s just glowing, near angelic, and you’re moved with the need to worship every part of him.
Mingi is still so tender with all his kisses, there’s no sense of rushing as he takes his time by really letting his lips linger. His mouth trails along your entire thigh, stopping now and then to lightly suck your skin into his mouth and have a taste of you. He only falters when he gets to the junction of your thigh, to where your skin is covered by the fabric of your underwear.
You’ve been short of breath for a while now, but when Mingis fingers dip into the waistline of your underwear you cease to breathe entirely. Your head is rushing, watching as Mingis hands pull your underwear down your legs, leaving you completely naked. You’ve sent him pictures before, he knows what every little inch of your body looks like, but Mingi looks at you as if it’s the very first time.
A thousand thoughts whirl through your head between the seconds your underwear hits the floor to when Mingi springs into action. A thousand worries now culminating, whether he’ll realize that it was better over the phone, if he’s disappointed by what he’s seeing, or if he’s repulsed by how aroused you already are.
”You’re,” Mingi begins, stopping to press a kiss at the seam of your thigh. He adds, ”Beautiful.”
His eyes aren’t even on yours, he’s single-mindedly focused on what’s right in front of him. His breath is fanning across your entire crotch, tickling your inner thighs, and as you feel it get closer and closer you instinctively close your eyes and let your head roll back when Mingi finally puts his mouth where you need it most.
He’s still so gentle, using his tongue and lips to tease you and explore what you like best. It feels like hours pass of Mingi lightly sucking and pressing wet kisses all over you, he’s really and truly taking his time and you have to believe it’s for his own sake because he’s only building up a frustration within you.
”Mingi,” you whine, reaching down to grab hold of his hair. It’s an objectively insane feeling, to have his hair in your hand and head between your legs, after all this time of dreaming of it. It’s enough to have you getting close, even though Mingi is still lapping carefully at you, and it's nowhere close enough to what you crave.
When you start bucking your hips against his mouth it’s like he releases all restrain and just goes for it. His hands wrap around your legs at first, pressing them towards his head, to then wedging underneath your ass so he can get all of you into his mouth.
Mingi moans out ”You taste so good” with a mouthful of you at the same time you tell him how good he is with his mouth, prompting him to smirk against your pelvis. It really doesn’t take long for him to learn what gets you closest to the edge, just where he should put his tongue and where to apply some pressure.
”So good, Mingi, you’re so good. Oh my god,” you sigh. You tug on his hair hard enough for your fingers to cramp, and Mingi only moans against you. Every sound you make seems to spur him on further, Mingi only getting more eager with the way he’s circling his tongue around you.
His tongue is getting you closer and closer, your stomach is splitting in two to hold onto the edge and trying not to cum. You’ve been waiting for this for so long that it feels a shame to cum just minutes after Mingis mouth is on you, but there’s no holding back. His hands grip your hips, pulling you flush to his face, and the second you lift your head to look down at him between your legs you start orgasming in his mouth.
He understands what’s happening before you do, applying enough pressure to get you over the edge before letting up and licking you slower to help you come down. All while he keeps his eyes on yours, letting your fingers scratch his scalp. Mingi listens to every little noise you make and stops the second your heavy breathing turns into an overstimulated hiss.
”Mingi, Mingi,” you whine. His cheeks are flushed a deep pink and his lips are slick with his own spit and your cum, and you can’t stop admiring him. All you can do is pray that Mingi looks into your eyes and mistakes your all-consuming love as the afterglow of a great orgasm.
He pulls himself up enough to crawl on top of you, and though he’s just spent minutes between your legs, this feels a lot more daunting. He hesitates for a moment as if he’s unsure if he’s allowed to kiss you, so you wrap your hands around the back of his head and pull him towards you.
Mingi is breathing heavily from the effort he’s just put forth, and instead of letting him catch his breath you only grow more desperate. Your hands clammer onto his shoulders, pulling him against you, then down to his waist, and finally around his ass so you can pull him against your core. He’s got his underwear on, but you don’t let it stop you as you grind up against him. He’s hard and you’re still wet with spit and cum, it doesn’t take long before you’ve soaked his boxers and the barrier between you both is practically nonexistent. You can feel every bit of him against you.
”Mingi,” you moan into his mouth. ”Fuck me, please.”
He pulls away and sucks in a deep breath.
”Don’t you want me to… uh, prepare you?” He sounds small and insecure. You watch his brows burrow and his eyes flick across your face, and you’re struck by how much he looks like Mingi. Your best friend Mingi, who you’ve built up in your head as a confident sex god, even though you’ve always been aware that he’s more careful and vary than any other person you know.
You suppose you’d just assume that that version of him would disappear in the bedroom, that he’d be the same as he is over the phone when he’s telling you all the different ways he wants to fuck you.
”I’m- I’m embarrassed to say this, but I’m so worked up you could just slide inside me,” you tell him, and Mingi moans in response.
”Are you sure?” he asks. You pick up motion again, sliding yourself against the entire length of his dick.
”I’m not just sure, I’m begging,” you plea. You hook your fingers into his boxers, trying to tug them down even though you know the position you’re in won’t allow you to undress him. You just need him to act, now, you can’t wait any longer.
It happens fast, Mingi pulling his boxers off and getting back on top of you, to then lining up his dick to enter you.
”Fuck, I forgot how big you are,” you mumble. The sight of him in comparison to you, lined up against you, is enough to make you cum untouched.
This is what you’ve been dreaming about for a whole year, this very moment. For Mingi to push inside you, hook your legs over his shoulders and fuck you until you can’t see straight. Actually being here, with the tip of his dick against your hole, it feels much different. It’s not the actual sex you’re looking forward to, it’s the fact that he’s finally going to be inside you. It feels like you’re claiming him, that the moment is finally here and he’s going to be yours.
”Are you okay? Are you ready? Can I-?” Mingi asks, searching your eyes for uncertainty.
”Please,” you nod.
He starts pushing inside, watching his dick slide with ease until he’s got the entire tip in. The stretch feels amazing, you could take all of him in one go but the fact that he stops and leans down to kiss you as he slowly thrusts his entire cock inside is way better. And god, he kisses you as if he’s not currently buried inside you. His lips barely brush against yours, and the kisses are short and sweet. Finally, he pulls back to watch himself bottom out.
The sun is shining on the side of Mingis face, and this is just not at all how you had pictured it. In your fantasies, there had always been a dark bedroom and Mingis body had been on top of yours, only distinguishable by faint lights outside the window. It was quick, rushed, and dirty, maybe Mingis hand would be clamped over your mouth to keep you from making any sounds since it would have to happen at one of your homes. Sometimes you’d imagine it happening in his car, parked somewhere secluded at night, it would be bumpy and awkward and sweaty and the focus would just be on both of you cumming as soon as possible.
You hadn’t pictured it like this. Like, Mingi looking at you as if he’s seeing you for the first time.
His hair is messy from your hands grabbing it, and the sunlight lights it up like a halo. Time feels unmoving, you’re drinking in the sight of him and trying to memorize every small detail.
He starts thrusting carefully and slowly. His back is upright, leaning away from you so he can watch his cock go in and out of you. You can’t stop watching him though. He’s so beautiful, his hair is a mess, and beads of sweat are starting to trickle down his chest. You reach your hands up, caressing his skin.
You wonder if you’re breaking some sort of unspoken rule. The two of you hadn’t discussed or set any boundaries, but when you slide your hands over Mingis chest and stomach, you wonder if you should have. This isn’t just fucking, you’re worshipping him and looking at him with intense adoration. He’s going so slow too, really taking his time. You’re not fucking, this is making love.
”I’ve never felt this good, you feel so good,” he moans under his breath. He curls his hands under your ass, picking you up so he can get better leverage to thrust as deep inside as possible. The new angle makes him groan, ”Fuck, you were made for me, weren’t you?”
It has you sobbing with pleasure. Mingis fingers are digging into your flesh, and he fucks you at this torturous pace for tens of minutes. You can truly feel the drag of his dick inside of you, when he bottoms out all the way inside to when the tip of his dick is at your entrance.
”You’re so good, oh my god! So good, you’re so handsome, Mingi,” you praise him, causing Mingi to pick up the speed.
You’re grabbing at his arms and shoulders, trying to pull him down, to get him closer. He lets you down on the bed and leans down, coming chest to chest with you, shoving his arm under your head instead. Your bodies are flush with each other now, Mingis pelvis rubbing against you and getting you close to cumming again stupidly quick.
His mouth is right by your ear, pressing a few sloppy kisses to your neck and temple. He is moaning your name and though his voice is hushed and strained you can still feel it reverberate through his chest, right against yours.
It’s precisely that which has you cumming, the sound of his voice calling your name over and over, telling you how good you feel. Your ears start to ring when your orgasm rolls through you and Mingi only picks up the pace to intensify it. You can faintly hear him, somewhere far away now, this otherwordly being showering you with so much affection it has tears forming in your eyes.
”You’re so perfect,” he’s telling you, fucking you faster. ”Just for me, all for me, you’re all mine.”
Somewhere through it, you realize he’s picked up the speed because he’s close too, but he wants to make it good for you before he pulls out. His eyes are on you, watching your breathing return to normal and feeling your hands unclench from his shoulders, and only when he’s certain that you’re coming down from the orgasm he leans back and pulls out. He only manages to get his hand around his cock before he cums all over your stomach, cumming so hard he shoots all the way up to your chest.
Mingis other hand is grabbing your waist and you can’t stop looking at the way he’s marked you up. There are red marks on you from the tips of his fingers, and little marks from his nails all over your hips, and you’re covered in his cum. Just seconds ago he’d told you that you’re all his, and in this moment you feel it.
”Fuck, that was…” Mingi is the first to speak. ”Shit, let me get you cleaned up.”
He scrambles for his underwear, starting to wipe his cum from your stomach.
You’ve managed to blink away the tears that welled up when you came, but there’s still a sob within your chest that you’re fighting to choke down. Everything about what just happened was about a thousand times more intense than you had ever dreamt of. Had he not pulled away you think you might have confessed to him right then and there.
”How are you feeling?” you ask him, clearing your throat and hoping Mingi reads it as just being fucked out.
”Very good,” he responds, without a hint of hesitance or a second of stalling. There’s a faint laugh in his voice, and he’s starting to smile. Nothing about him looks like you currently feel.
”Oh,” you say, struggling to find words. It’s not like you had expected him to just bare his heart and pour out confessions. You’d just expected something more to follow, after all of that. You had made love. There’s no other word for it.
Mingi leans down and kisses you once, so chaste you barely have time to kiss back.
He gets up and pulls out a pair of new boxers from his dresser, stepping in them.
”Fuck, I made you breakfast earlier and forgot all about it,” he tells you. You look over at the nightstand, where your breakfast sits forgotten.
”Oh,” you repeat. Your head drops back down on Mingis pillow. You speak again, ”I think I’d rather have a shower.”
It’s all so thoroughly strange. Mingi clasps his hand in yours and pulls you up from the bed, and you feel perturbed. You’ve seen Mingi greet Yunho with more affection than the way he helps you up on your feet. At least he joins you in the shower, but you feel weirdly disconnected from him. Even when he jokes and suds up his hair into silly hairstyles you can only manage halfhearted laughs.
Your body aches to have him closer, to feel him pressed against you and to have his lips back on yours again. The kisses he’s giving you now feel cheeky, as if he’s kissing you just because he can, and not because he truly wants to.
You suppose there’s reason to feel thankful, because at the very least Mingi hasn’t rejected you. His casualty is worth a lot more to you than the possibility that he could have pulled back and realized that everything about this was a mistake. He ruffles your hair after the shower, and it stings, but each second you continue to remind yourself that this is how things are supposed to be.
He lets you have one of his shirts after the shower, and he cooks you a very late lunch, then Mingi has to leave for work. Your legs are still unsteady when you make the walk back home to your house.
You prepare yourself to be ignored again. You busy yourself with cleaning your room, reading a book, cleaning out weeds in the garden, sending out job applications, anything you can to make the hours go by. You don’t want to check your phone, but your fingers itch to see if Mingi has texted you.
Nothing.
It’s not until late that night when you know Mingi's shift has ended that he calls you.
”Hey,” you answer, walking over to your window. Mingis car is in the driveway, but you can't see him in his room.
”Hi there,” he greets you. ”Busy day?”
”Oh you know, the usual,” you say. ”Mom wasn’t too happy with me spending the night but she was very relieved to hear it was with you.”
You’re still dressed in his t-shirt, and throughout the day you've been bringing the collar up to your nose to smell him on it. You find yourself doing it now too.
”Her head would explode if she knew what you were doing at my house this morning,” he teases you.
”Good thing no one will ever know then,” you joke, though it is the truth. It was always meant to be a secret.
”Right,” he says. ”So, do you think maybe you could come over tomorrow? My parents will be gone, I start working in the afternoon again, I was thinking maybe-”
”Yes,” you interrupt him.
Mingi laughs, ”Okay. Uh, do I sound desperate if I say that you can come over as soon as you wake up?”
”A little, but I like it,” you giggle.
”Good.”
”I’ll see you tomorrow then!”
You sleep so much better when you know that you’re seeing Mingi tomorrow. You wake up feeling completely rested, and you’re giddy as you sort out your bedhead and get dressed.
Mingis parents aren’t home, and there’s a spare key resting atop the frame of the front door that you use to let yourself into their home. It’s still early, early enough that you know that Mingi is probably fast asleep in his bed. You try to keep your steps light as you trudge up the stairs and into his room. The curtains are drawn, only letting in a stream of sunlight that lights up a sliver on his bed. The orange morning sun is casting a few inches of light on his thigh, so you let it lead you.
It’s where you first press a kiss. He smells of sleep and Mingi, you inhale the scent of his skin between kisses you trail all over his thigh and over the front of his underwear. Mingi sighs softly in his sleep, hips twitching when your lips kiss the tip of his dick through the fabric of his boxers. You’re looking up to watch his face, but when he’s still asleep as you mouth over his entire cock, you crawl up and kiss his lips.
Mingi huffs and puffs, twisting underneath you. You continue to kiss all over his sleepy, confused face. He cracks an eye open, transforming from a groggy confusion to a content smile.
”Morning,” he mumbles happily.
”Hey,” you whisper, kissing the corner of his mouth. ”Can I suck you off?”
He lets out a drawn-out moan that tapers off into a sigh, nodding fervently. His hands are weak and his fingers fumble to find purchase in your hair when you pull his underwear down his legs and take him into your mouth right away.
He sounds so lovely, all raspy and deep from his sleep. Even though he’s just come to consciousness, Mingi makes sure to tell you how good you are making him feel. He moans your name, over and over, giving you so much praise it’s making your head swim.
It doesn’t take him long to get close, so you choke out permission for him to cum in your mouth, and Mingi listens eagerly. Even as he cums he’s vocal, talking you through it and reminding you to breathe all while he praises you for how well you take it. He’s so gentle it’s making you moan as you swallow, and when you pull off his dick you scramble to get his thigh between yours.
Mingis hands guide your hips over his thigh, setting the pace for you to hump him. He keeps the praise coming, and when he feels you getting close he pulls you down for a numbing kiss. You cum on his thigh while deep in a kiss, and Mingi holds you close to his chest as you come down from it.
Somewhere in the post-orgasm haze, you both fall asleep. It’s peaceful and quiet, Mingi lulls you to sleep with the sounds of his breath and his fingers drawing patterns on your back. When you wake up again it’s in a sweat. His little bedroom is swarming with heat, so you decide on a shower, where Mingi has your chest pressed against the white tiles while he fucks you until you’re cumming a second time, this time while full of his cock. He bites down on your shoulder to keep from cumming until he knows you’re fully satisfied, and only then does he pull out and let himself cum on your ass.
When you’re pulling his shirt over your head 10 minutes later while he cooks you lunch, you catch sight of marks on your shoulder. His teeth had dug hard enough to bloom bruises on your skin, and your mind reels at the fact that he has marked you up.
Mingi has you coming over the next morning too, after you’d spent the previous night sending him pictures of the bruises his teeth left on your skin. His responses had been sporadic as he focused on work, but it didn’t stop you from going into detail about all the things you want Mingi to do to you.
It’s like all the limits have finally vanished, neither of you are held back by the fears and worries of before. It’s just like it had been before you moved back, when you only had phone calls to rely on. Back then, the comfort had come from the fact that you didn’t have to actualize all the things you spoke about. You had time to feel each other out and discuss what you want, all without having to put yourself on the line for possible failure. Now, you’ve found reassurance in the fact that you do have a physical relationship.
You know each other in your bones. You can read all the queues his body gives you, and you know what every little expression on his face means. You can sense differences in his sighs and you know what his voice sounds like when it’s getting to be too much. There’s no room for doubt when Mingi is in front of you, you just intrinsically know what he needs.
The two of you fall into a routine. When morning comes, you skip over to Mingi's house and usually he’s still asleep, tired from his shift the day before. You wake him up with kisses or gentle touches, and if he’s hard by the time you get there, Mingi loves to wake up to you already taking care of him. Some mornings you simply lay beside him, tracing his face with your finger. His hair sticks to his forehead so you brush it back, giving soft kisses to the side of his temple. Your pointer finger follows the contour of his nose and lips, feeling the warmth of his breath exit his nose.
Even though he’s asleep and unaware of your worship, you can’t bring yourself to stop. It’s in these moments you can be fully truthful with your affections. Letting your hands linger on his chest for a moment longer, focusing on his heartbeat underneath your palm. You whisper things to him you’re too afraid to say when he can hear you, just to release yourself from the need. It satiates you enough, like this airing out of your system, enough to keep you going until the next morning when you once again get overwhelmed with the sight of his sleeping form blanketed by sunlight. There is only one thing you forbid yourself from saying, three words that you vow to never let yourself speak.
A full two weeks pass of this. Every day you explore something new, things you’ve spoken about on the phone over the last year. With Mingis parents working daytime, you have full freedom to be as loud as you want. Mingi also takes full advantage of a free house. One morning he bends you over the kitchen counter while breakfast is still cooking. His mouth is always right by your ear, moaning and telling you how bad he needs you, despite fucking you upstairs in his bedroom just an hour earlier. Another day he has you ride him on the couch right before he leaves for work. You love it most when Mingi randomly decides to go down on you, whether it’s in the shower or he makes you lie down on the kitchen table. When he’s got his mouth on you he’s possessive, making sure to mark up your thighs and hips. It happens so often that he sometimes ends up darkening the hickeys he left a few days earlier.
Then Mingis schedule changes, and he has to work in the mornings. It doesn’t stop you, but it puts a damper on things as you know them. You have to meet in the afternoons instead, and with Mingi's parents home you end up sitting through long dinners with his parents, reminiscing and talking. It makes sex a little difficult, and Mingi hates the fact that you have to be quiet. He picks you up in his car a few times, but quick head while parked at the edge of the woods is a harsh contrast to the hours of sex you’d been able to have a few weeks earlier.
You’re caught by surprise one day when your phone calls and you rush to pick up only to find Yunhos voice at the other end. You’re so surprised that you pull your phone away and check the name on the screen, and sure enough it’s Yunho's contact name.
”Hey,” you reply, trying to play off the shock.
”Not happy to hear from me?” he teases.
”Shut up, you know I am!” you joke back.
He laughs in return and makes some small talk, telling you how much fun it was to see you and asking you how you’ve been.
”But, hey, uh,” he interjects. ”You ended up leaving with my shirt, is there any chance I could get it back?”
”Shit,” you curse, squeezing your eyes shut in embarrassment. ”You’re right, I totally forgot. Uh, do you want me to bring it by today?”
”That’d be perfect, thanks!”
When Yunho hangs up the phone, you chew nervously at your lip. Getting the shirt back to Yunho wouldn’t be an issue, it’s just that it’s in Mingi’s room somewhere, and asking him to locate it would probably lead to another weird moment where Mingi says something petty. You’re pacing around your room when your eyes land on his driveway and you remember that Mingi is at work. You’re just about to call Yunho and tell him today’s gonna be impossible, before the solution hits you.
Mingis mom opens the door to their home when you knock, and beams at the sight of you on their doorstep.
”Sweetheart! Hi there, Mingi is at work right now, I’m afraid,” she tells you while wrapping her arms around you for a hug. She always does this, even though you’ve been spending a lot of time over at their house recently, Mingis mother hugs you every time she sees you.
”I know, it’s just that I left something in Mingi's room that I need to get if that’s okay?”
So she lets you run up to his bedroom. You feel a little bad while rummaging through his room, but it doesn’t take you long to find Yunhos flannel shirt bunched up halfway underneath Mingis dresser. Mingis mom tries to convince you to stay for dinner, but you tell her you have to get going, and within moments you’re in your car on the way to Yunhos house.
It’s another picture-perfect day outside, the sky is a pristine blue and the wind is blowing just enough to bring some relief in this heat. Yunho is outside in his front yard, with the rear of his car jacked up.
”Hey, you!” you call, getting out of your car. ”Car trouble?”
You can tell by the fact that he has picked apart the entire wheelhouse that it’s not just something routine, but Yunho shrugs his shoulders.
”Not something I can’t fix,” he smiles. ”Dude, you’re quick. I called you, what, 30 minutes ago?”
You nod, sitting down on the tire Yunho has removed.
”Honestly, I was losing my mind at home. I’ve been doing jack shit for days now, I think I might die out of boredom,” you complain.
”Oh, so you’re saying you left the minute you got my call just because you had nothing better to do? It’s not just because you love me?” Yunho quirks an eyebrow, wiping grease from his forehead.
”Can’t it be both? And anyway, I had to go over to Mingis to get your shirt, so I didn’t leave ’the minute I got your call’,” you say, sticking out your tongue at him.
”It was at Mingi's house?” he asks.
Something comes over Yunhos face that you can’t pinpoint.
”Yeah.. I left with him during the party, and we went to his house afterward.” You hope he buys it as a reasonable enough explanation, it’s at the very least true. Just not the entire truth.
Yunho shrugs, and his eyes lose the edge they just had. He smiles, ”Leaving in one man's shirt to go to another dude's house, all in one night.. Impressive, I’ll give you that.”
”Fuck off!” you huff, kicking Yunhos shoe.
He laughs, slapping down a greasy hand on your knee to let you know that he’s just joking, even though you already know that.
”Although…” you trail off. ”Mingi did say that it’s your move.”
”Oh yeah, it is. I wasn’t expecting you to fall for it, though.” Yunhos's voice is still teasing, but not in the same way that Mingis usually is. You can tell that Yunho is just friendly, that there’s no flirting laced in his words or tone. It makes you miss Mingi.
”I don’t fall for things like that,” you retort, but quickly find your mind going to all the shirts Mingi has let you borrow these past weeks. You wear them all day, every day, even when you come back home after spending time with him. You even sleep in them, and you frequently bury your face in the collar to smell his laundry detergent. The few times he gives you a shirt he’s already worn you end up getting so worked up about it that you think you’d be getting yourself off while smelling it, if it wasn’t for the fact that Mingi now has you cumming at least twice a day.
So, perhaps you do fall for tricks like that. But only when it’s Mingi.
Yunho goes silent, and you can see that he’s chewing on the inside of his lip.
”What’s wrong?” you ask him.
His eyes flick over to yours for a second, then he looks at his hands. You’ve never seen Yunho this deep in thought outside an academic setting, and something about it is making you uneasy.
”You know,” he begins, but the words die as quickly as he says them.
”Yes?” you try again.
He pauses, looking up at you.
”You know that Mingi is my best friend,” he says. ”And I love him, I do, but sometimes he acts like an idiot. And I can’t- I just hate seeing it, you know?”
”Okay,” you mumble, only growing more confused with every word Yunho says.
”I don’t think it was right how he came here with you, then spent the whole night talking to everyone but you. But, he just gets so weird sometimes, right? And like I said, I love him, he’s my best friend, but- we just thought it would be different when you came back home. So, Wooyoung and I decided to see what would happen if I lent you my shirt, and-.. Yeah.”
”What… What are you saying?” Your voice is getting quieter. The cheery happiness from before has retired, and there’s something strange in the atmosphere now. You can’t understand what Yunho is getting at, but there’s a part of you that wonders and wishes. A part of you that can read between the lines of what Yunho is too afraid to say out loud.
”It’s not my place to say,” Yunho says, looking everywhere but your eyes.
”At least tell me what you intended to do with this shirt.” It’s still in your hands, his flannel, and your fingers are tightening around it.
”We just figured that maybe he needed a push,” he tells you, sounding so sheepish.
”You wanted him to get jealous?” you finally say it out loud. Yunho doesn’t meet your eyes, but it’s a clear enough answer. So you ask, ”What do you know about me and Mingi?”
”In all honesty? I don’t know anything. And it used to hurt me because Mingi is my best friend and I’ve known him since we were kids. But that’s what clued me in because I know for a fact that he would have told me if you were dating,” Yunho says. You’re holding your breath while listening to him. He continues, ”I, uh, I accidentally saw the preview of a text you sent him once. Something about.. well, that’s not important. But, I realized it then. We all thought it was just a matter of time, and that you’d make it official when you moved back home.”
You’re hearing every single thing Yunho is saying, but the words just won’t stick. You’re becoming more aware of the birds singing and the sound of the wind among the treetops.
”Mingi is in love with you,” Yunho says. At last. The rest of his words blur together. He has been, a long time, doesn’t know it. Yunhos mouth is moving, and you know what he’s saying, but the rational part of you that knows this can’t be true has stopped listening long ago.
Mingi is not in love with you. He’s just not, that can’t be true.
Yunho scrambles towards you, hands landing on each of your knees. He looks so concerned and his mouth is still moving.
”-you okay? What’s wrong?” You hear once your brain stops blocking your ears. You’re crying, tears falling from your cheeks down onto your hands.
”What did I say?” Yunho asks frantically.
And the confessions start rolling. You tell Yunho about everything, from that first night to everything that has happened since you returned back home. You tell him about the weird moment when Mingi drove you home after the party.
”Don’t you hear it though? He’s in love with you! My god, I think he always has been,” Yunho says.
You scoff, ”He ignored me for four whole months during my first semester away. He’s not in love with me, this is just.. out of comfort, it’s just easy.”
”You’re both in denial. You know what I’m hearing? That Mingi was so heartbroken when you moved away that he couldn’t even be a good friend. That didn’t just extend to you, by the way. He barely hung out with us during that time, and it only changed when you came home for Christmas,” Yunho tries to lay it out for you.
”You’re wrong. You’re wrong-”
”I can’t tell you what to believe,” Yunho says. His hand squeezes your knee, leaving dirty marks of grease on your skin. It’s a gesture of comfort, and you appreciate it for what it is. ”You need to talk to Mingi. Maybe disarm him by telling him that you’re in love with him first.”
The air feels different when you drive back home. It feels heavier, somehow. Yunhos words bear an incredible weight and no matter how many times you run them through your head they don’t get any easier to process. It would be different if it had come from Seonghwa or Hongjoong, who would say practically anything to comfort you. You don’t think Yunho would sweeten his words like they would, or even at all.
You sit through a quiet lunch with your mom, unable to get your thoughts in any other direction than the conversation you just had with Yunho. For some reason, you feel absolutely stuck there, and you can’t see a way for things to work. It feels as if time has been suspended in wait for your next move. The hours tick on though. You lay in your bed and watch the numbers on your alarm clock change. Seconds turn into minutes, and then hours, and your mind is still stuck in the same place as it has since you left Yunhos house.
You don’t realize when the clock indicates that Mingi is ending his shift. The numbers are just ticking, hypnotizing you. You startle when your phone calls and the pit in your stomach grows when you know that it’s probably Mingi.
Your fingers move on pure muscle memory as you pick up your phone and swipe to answer the call, then raise the phone to your ear. Through the phone, you can hear Mingis car running.
”Hello?” Mingi asks. ”You know, it’s usually the person who picks up the phone who speaks first.”
”Sorry,” you croak. You don’t even recognize the sound of your voice.
”Are you okay?” Mingi sounds so concerned it makes your stomach twist. It’s still the same Mingi you have known all your life, and he’s the same man you’ve been fucking the past weeks, but something feels as if it has fundamentally changed. You try to listen to his voice, read it for any hint of tenderness you’d have previously missed. You can’t make out any, it’s the same Mingi as always.
”It’s been a weird day,” you settle for.
”Then what do you say about changing into your swimsuit and we go to the lake? It’s so hot out, I can’t stand to be home. And maybe it can take your mind off of things?” he suggests.
”Yeah, sounds good.”
”I’ll pick you up in 5, better hurry!”
Mingi hangs up. Your head feels all fuzzy and distant, but you pull yourself out of bed and get changed. While putting your clothes over your swimsuit you realize you’re in one of Mingis t-shirts. Every single bit of this feels like a divine punishment. To be dressed in Mingis clothes and have marks in the shape of his mouth decorate your chest and the insides of your thighs, to be so thoroughly claimed by him but yet not be his, is agonizing.
You’re aware that Mingi would park in your driveway and come knocking at your door, wanting to impress and appease your parents at every turn. You just can’t deal with that today, so you hurriedly make your way down the stairs and out your door to wait for him outside. You’re just in time, because Mingi is making the turn up your street and it’s only half a minute before he’s pulling up to your house and you’re getting in his car.
”Hey, I missed you!” Mingi sounds cheerful, sporting a smile so big it’s splitting. You hate the way that time and space curl around Mingi each time you see him as if he presents to you in technicolor and slow motion. Your eyes pass over each feature, trying your best to handle what just seeing him does to your body.
Mingi keeps a pair of extra sunglasses in his car for you, and when you’re sat down he leans over to place them on your face. The gesture is enough to make your breath hitch, but he uses it as an opportunity to lean in for a swift kiss, and you feel as if you’re floating.
Today, Mingi has Fleetwood Mac playing softly throughout the car.
You’re just looking at Mingi with this pit in your stomach, this sense of impending doom sitting heavy in your abdomen. The world feels slow and strangely saturated. The seconds stretch on infinitely, allowing you plenty of time to watch the sunlight adorn Mingi's skin.
You’re aware that you can’t stop staring. When Mingi parks the car and you start making the short walk through the trees to get to the lake, your eyes are always set on him. From the towel slung over his shoulder to the sweat that has broken out and is trickling down the nape of his neck. You’re trying to make sense of the sight in front of you, the same Mingi you’ve made this walk with a hundred times, the only difference being that he’s had you in the most intimate and tender ways now. It forces you to rewrite history, the memories of your childhood innocence are permanently changed. If only you had known then, while sitting on the big rock and throwing pebbles out to break the still surface of the water if you had only known that the boy handing you rocks would end up being the man you fall in love with fifteen years later.
Your stupid, stupid heart. Sometimes you think the ribs, flesh, and muscle containing it won’t be enough to keep it in place. It beats so hard and fast it billows from your chest, through your arms, and out to the very tip of each finger. You have to flex them to stop that lovesick tingle from numbing you.
The water is beautiful. The lake looks just like you remember it, the wind is blowing slight ripples upon the surface and the trees are swinging lightly. Besides the gentle hum of nature, the place is completely undisturbed and it’s just you and Mingi here today.
You're placing your towels down and undressing in silence, barely glancing at each other. You sneak little glances at him in the corner of your eye, wondering what he’s thinking. Yunhos words are still echoing through your head, getting louder and more unbearable for every minute that passes.
Mingi is wading into the water before you know it, covered up to his knees, then thighs, then his waist, and eventually he points his arms and dives in entirely. He erupts back through the surface with a shriek that echoes over the lake, and you can’t stop yourself from laughing.
He rushes back up to where you’re laying on your towel, shoulders bunched up in reaction to the cold water. Mingi shakes his head above you to force droplets onto your bare skin, laughing loudly when you yell in protest. Things feel so extraordinarily regular, it’s as if you have transported back ten years in time. Even when Mingi gets down on his towel and leans over to kiss you, it still feels so normal. It just feels so right with Mingi, like this is what you’re meant to be doing.
Mingis's mouth is cold and wet from his dip in the water, and his hair continues to drip onto your face, but you find it hard to care when he wraps you up in a long, passionate kiss. He’s on his stomach on his towel now, as close to you as he can get. Your heart beats with a discernible nervosity at the fact that you are laid out in the open with Mingi making out with you. There would be quite a walk for anyone else to get here, and you would probably be able to hear branches breaking or even a car parking way before anyone could walk upon the scene and spot the two of you. The risk of getting caught here is low, but you still feel like you’re on display.
Mingis cold fingers wrap around your jaw where he keeps you firmly as his tongue enters your mouth. The kissing goes to your head very quickly, dulling all your senses as all your thoughts are replaced by what Mingi is doing with his mouth. He knows you so well that he pulls away seconds before you lose your breath, letting you regain it while he kisses the corner of your mouth softly. His hand trails over your chest and down your stomach carefully, feeling the way your ribcage heaves as your breaths get steadier.
Mingis eyes follow the path of his hand before he abruptly stops by your knee.
”What’s that?” he asks you. You have to crane your neck to see what he’s looking at. Not much remains of it, but there are still faint marks of dirt and grease on the top of your knees. Just on the outside of your leg, there’s an unmistakable fingerprint.
”Oh,” you mumble. Mingi detaches himself from you with a quickness that makes you lose your breath, and you scramble to get up too.
”I don’t- I feel like I don’t even need to ask who left that on you,” Mingi says.
”It was Yunho,” you rush out, wanting so badly to resolve this before Mingis thoughts spin and twist so bad that you can’t untangle them. It’s clear from the look on his face that your words and their haste only have the opposite effect.
”Yunho?” he questions, getting quieter.
”It’s not all what you think. He called me about that shirt he let me borrow a few weeks ago, remember? I went to his house to give it back and we got to talking. You know, just.. stuff, about life. I ended up getting emotional and he comforted me. I was crying and he put his hands on my knees, that’s all.” You read Mingis's face for any changes, but nothing happens. He only looks at you, taking in your half-truth excuse of an explanation.
”What is it that Yunho can comfort you about, but I can’t?” Mingi asks, his eyes staring into yours with so much intensity you feel like crying. You had expected everything but that. You’d rather Mingi accuse you of getting intimate with Yunho, that you’re lying and it’s a terrible cover story you’re spinning. You could defend yourself from all that, but not this.
”That’s not… Mingi, it’s not like that. I didn’t just choose to go there for comfort. It just happened, I just started crying, and that’s it,” you urge.
Mingis legs are drawn up to his chest and his arms are wrapped around them. He looks so small and vulnerable. His eyebrows are starting to furrow together, and you’re finding it hard to tell if it’s anger or sadness that is starting to show on his face. Both possibilities terrify you equally.
”Why?” he wonders, simply. ”Why did you cry?”
You can physically see the restraints he’s putting on himself to hear you out, to not race away with his worries. You wish it means what you want it to mean. That Mingis vulnerability was an act of love instead of self-preservation. He’s probably sat there worried at the threat of Yunho taking you away and replacing his role. That the fun you’ve had the past weeks, and the year before that, would be over, just like that. You wonder if he views it as a hindrance more than anything. Mingi has finally scored a way to have sex on the regular, without the commitment or worries of starting with someone new. What you have is a lot of comfort, and you suppose he doesn’t want to lose that.
Still, even this feels like a lot more than you deserve of him. If you can’t have Mingi in the ways that you want, you’ll have to do your best to preserve the arrangement you have now.
”It’s not important,” you mumble. You know it’s not a good enough answer.
Mingi lets the word hover in the air for a moment, pondering on whether he should let it go.
In the end, he decides to speak. ”There’s nothing you can tell me that would scare me off. You know that, right?”
”That’s not true,” you whisper, so quiet it’s almost a hiss. ”There is something I can’t ever tell you.”
Tears start to fall down your cheeks and it’s now a conscious effort to keep your sobs contained within your chest. The lake is still breathtaking, the wind is still and the sun is bright in the perfect blue sky. It’s a beautiful day to get your heart broken, at the very least.
Mingi stretches his fingers and you watch the tendons twitch and flex. You’re brought back to what you were doing earlier, shaking off your nerves.
”What if I say it first?” he says. You look up at his eyes.
”What?”
”That I love you,” he tells you. His eyes are big and dark, brimming with tears of his own. ”If I say it first, will you say it too?”
”Mingi-”
”I do love you,” he begins. ”It’s stupid, looking back, because I think I’ve loved you since before you left. I loved you that first night, I already knew it, and I felt so stupid when I woke up the morning after. Doing that with you when I was drunk out of my mind made me feel like shit. And then I felt even more like shit, because- because, it made me realize that it hadn’t been the way I wanted it to be. So I took comfort in the fact that it was over the phone, and I still had time to do it right. To start right, with you, I mean. I wanted our first time to be perfect. I knew I loved you when I kept thinking about it. But then, when you finally came back, it truly clicked. For a while, I had figured that I’d know how I felt about you when we had sex for the first time. But I was wrong because all it took was me seeing you to know that I’m in love with you.”
”Mingi,” you whisper, again, over and over. It’s all you can bring yourself to say, like a prayer, before you crawl over to him and press your lips to his. It doesn’t matter that it takes him a beat to respond, you don’t care at all anymore about how things get awkward or strange. You continue to kiss over his mouth until he’s ready to kiss you back, when time finally catches up to you and it dawns on you both that this is real.
You can’t stop kissing him, breathing out his name every time you part.
”I love you,” you mumble into his mouth. ”I’m so in love with you.”
Mingi smiles into the kiss. Your senses are overwhelmed with the taste of both your tears and the fact that you’re both now smiling and giggling, repeating ’I love you’s until the words merge.
He pulls you into his arms, tumbling over into the grass. He stops kissing you to just look at you, and you watch him too. Your Mingi, in the grass by the lake. Finally, your Mingi.
#mingi x reader#ateez angst#ateez imagine#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#mingi x y/n
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Hangman x female reader
Hangman falling in love with wolfmans daughter,she was so overly sweet and gentle,she couldn’t ever stay mad at someone and he didn’t understand why but she was the one girl who truly made him feel weak to his knees.They we’re best friends and she never once judged him for how he held himself around others,through the arogence and the cockyness somehow she saw straight through it all an when he was having a really hard night and nobody seemed to know because he was great at hiding that,she ended up just sitting in his lap after he finished playing pool and running her hand through the back of his hair not saying anything at all,it was her just trying to relax him though jake found himself making getting excited about something else.
southern belle
pairing: jake “hangman” seresin x fem!reader
warnings: none
wc: 1.5k
a/n: i hate to be THAT person but sorry this took so long, i had this uncompleted in my drafts and i scheduled to post it last week but a hurricane deadass annihilated my state but anyways i decided to make jake and the reader in an already established relationship i hope that’s okay!
“I’ve been hearing some talk about you around base, Bagman,” Natasha said while finishing her turn in pool.
“Well, what can I say? Pilots are big talkers,” he responded, bending over the table to take his shot.
“Saying you’ve got someone back home,”
Jake looked up at her, “Yeah, you didn’t know that?”
“So it’s true?”
“Yeah,”
“Are you fucking with me, because it’s not funny.”
Bob, Javy, Bradley, and Mav walk up to the area where they normally hang out in the back of the Hard Deck.
“What’s Jake doing this time,” Bradley asks, handing a beer to Natasha.
She takes a sip of her beer and looks around at everyone, “Is Jake actually married or is he fucking with me?”
“He’s married,” almost everyone says in unison.
“Bagman? Like Jake Seresin? Is married?”
Maverick laughs, “Yep, his high school sweetheart if I’m correct,”
“Yes sir,”
“How do you know that? How did everyone know he’s married?”
“He’s married to my Goddaughter,” Natasha’s mouth dropped open and it was like her jaw was going to hit the floor.
“And one of my childhood friends,” Bradley added.
“What?”
“Yeah. None of us have met her but Jake’s said things here and there about her,” Javy says, taking a seat and pointing in between himself and the rest of the squad, excluding Jake, Bradley, and Maverick.
“This is unbelievable. How is Jake Seresin married and I’m not?”
—
This weekend was one that wasn’t too busy for the aviators, so you decided to come up to go house hunting with Jake. You wanted to be with him, but you also wanted him to stay at his base in San Diego. So you compromised and decided to move out to California.
Of course you were going to miss your little place in Texas, but it was worth moving if it meant you would be with Jake again. You had been apart for almost 3 weeks while he worked and you got the moving details sorted out.
You flew in around 7 and texted Jake that you were there. He told you to come down to a little bar called the Hard Deck. You heard your stomach rumble, yeah, you could eat.
You managed to get a rental car and drive yourself out there. When you arrived, you couldn’t help but to feel nervous. You hadn’t met any of his fellow pilots or friends in California, well except for Maverick and Penny.
You grabbed your phone and hopped out of the car. Walking in, you spotted Jake across the bar, and you felt like you had butterflies in your stomach. Even after 6 years, he could still make you feel like a high school girl with a crush.
You divert your attention away to behind the bar where you spot Penny. You walk over to her and lean against the bar. She’s pouring a beer, “I’ll be right with you,” she slides the beer down the bar and turns to you.
She gasps and smiles widely, exclaiming your name. “What are you doing here?” She tells someone to cover for her and walks out from behind the bar. She engulfs you in a big hug.
“I’m up here for a while to look for houses with Jake. I mean he’s got a place but we just figured we would rather have a bigger place with a yard, you know, just in case,” you winked.
“I see,” Penny smiled back. She worked her way back behind the bar, “Well what can I get for you tonight?”
“Get me one of whatever Jake is having,”
“I’m on it,” she winked and smiled while going to pour your drink. You kept yourself leaning against the bar.
Jake spotted you from across the bar and got butterflies. Even after 6 years, you could still make him as flustered as the day you met. He set down his cue stick and walked over to Natasha, “Hey, Trace, how much do you bet that I can get that girl’s number,” he pointed over to you.
She looked at him confused, “I thought you were married?” I mean, he had to have a little fun tonight. Jake pretended to slick back his hair and made his way over to you. Natasha watched with a shocked face, but Maverick knew exactly what was happening, this wasn’t the first time he had pulled a stunt like this.
He finally got to where you were standing and leaned against the bar next to you, “Hey, Darlin’, what are you drinking tonight?”
You turned and smiled at him, “You know, I’m havin’ whatever my husband is havin’,”
“Shame you’re married, we could’ve made a good match,” he pretended to pout. You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck and he leant down and kissed you softly.
Across the bar, Natasha dropped her pool cue in disbelief. She watched Penny come back with a beer and talk to Jake and the mysterious woman. The woman grabbed her beer and Jake grabbed her hand, leading her back to the group. Natasha’s mouth was still wide open.
The pair came over, laughing. “This is my wife,” he introduced you to the Dagger Squad. Natasha shut her mouth, which was now dry and she watched your interactions with the rest of the team. You walked over to Maverick first and he engulfed you in a fatherly-like embrace. “It’s good to see you kid,”
“You too, Uncle Mav.” Okay so Maverick wasn’t lying about you being his Goddaughter. This was unbelievable for Natasha Trace. How in the world is Jake “Hangman” Seresin, married to a sweet thing like you?
You made your way around the area, introducing yourself to all of Jake’s friends.
“Bradshaw,” you smile.
“Wolfe,” you squint your eyes at him, “Not anymore, Bradshaw, I’m a Seresin now, I have been for a while too,”
“Really? You’d rather take on this dip’s name, rather than keep the cool one?”
“Alright, Bradshaw, that’s enough slander on my humble family name,” Jake cut in. Natasha watched the interaction between the three of you, well I guess Bradley wasn’t lying about you being childhood friends.
Maybe she’s in some sort of nightmare, this can’t be real. You walked over to Natasha last, “Hi,” you tried to introduce yourself to her, but Jake interrupted you, “This is the Mrs.,” he said proudly.
You rolled your eyes at him and introduced yourself to her in the way you wanted, “You must be Natasha, I’ve heard so much about you from Mav. He says you’re an amazing pilot,” you smiled at her and she smiled back, in a forced kind of way. She wanted to reach out and touch your face to make sure you were real.
“So you’re married to Jake?”
“Yes, ma’am,”
“Like, you?”
You giggled, “I am,”
“Natasha, seriously–”
“Jake, this is your wife? But she’s so sweet and you’re so… not,”
You gasped, “My Jake? He could never even hurt a fly, his momma raised him better than that. He’s the sweetest man I know!” You knew he wasn’t, but you had to have a little fun. You’ve been with Jake for 6 years, of course you knew he had a temper, teasing tendencies, and a bit of an attitude, but you’d never admit it out loud.
“See, thank you, sweetheart. At least someone has my side,”
“Of course, baby,”
—
You spent the rest of the night trading stories and sipping beer. The bar began to empty and soon enough it was only your group in there.
Jake was sitting across from you, watching you tell stories of when you two were in high school. He didn’t know how you did it, but just the looks you gave him made him weak in the knees. He began to get more tipsy and more emotionally overwhelmed.
He came over to you and sat down, he laid his head on your shoulder and you didn’t even think twice. You ran your hand through his hair as he lay down, you didn’t even blink when he came over, you just continued to tell your story.
When you were finished talking, he pulled himself up to your ear and whispered to you, asking to go home. You nodded and waited for Bob to finish his story.
When the end of the story came, you stood up and grabbed Jake’s hand, “I think it’s time for us to head out. It was wonderful to meet you all tonight, we should do this again soon.” You all said your goodbyes and you dragged Jake out to the rental car.
“Baby, my truck,” he pouted.
“We can come back for it tomorrow, honey, right now let’s get you home,”
He nodded and followed you to the car, you helped him in and you got into the driver’s seat, you having had much less to drink than Jake. You pulled out of the parking lot of the Hard Deck and began to make your way home to the apartment.
A perfect ending to a perfect night.
#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#top gun maverick#top gun#bradley rooster bradshaw#hangman top gun#pete maverick mitchell#jake seresin fluff#jake seresin x you#jake seresin x wife!reader#jake hangman x reader#hangman seresin x reader#hangman fluff#hangman x you
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My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 1
Summary: Have you ever watched this movie Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans did before Marvel called “The Nanny Diaries”? It's about a girl, Scarlett's character, who finds herself working as a nanny for a very rich family, and Chris happens to be her hot and very cute neighbour. And something very similar is what has happened to me, neighbour included. Though in my case, mine is very cute and very hot. And handsome. The most handsome man I have ever seen. And his name is Rúben.
Author's note: This story has been finished and waiting in my drafts since 2022. I wrote it as a new and different version of "The Nanny Diaries" (my story with Ben Chilwell) because I didn't like it, and then I ended not liking this one either 🙈 But time passed, I read it again recently, thought it was cute… And here we are, having now both of them posted when they weren't supposed to 😅
I hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading! 💜
Next chapter
Masterlist
Have you ever watched this movie Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans did before Marvel called “The Nanny Diaries”? It's about a girl, Scarlett's character, who finds herself working as a nanny for a very rich family with a spoiled kid and Chris is her hot and very cute neighbour. And something very similar is what has happened to me, but let's start from the beginning.
My entire life was designed to achieve one goal: become the best piano player in the country. Or in the continent if my father got too excited. And since I can remember, I've been glued to one.
While my friends were going out to the park, I was going to my teacher's house to practice. While my friends were meeting to go shopping or watch a movie at the cinema, I was practicing. While my friends were going out clubbing and meeting boys and girls, I was going early to bed because I had practice in the morning. And while my friends were choosing a career path they liked and enjoyed and moving to different cities all around the country, I only had one option: playing the piano and moving to Manchester, where the best teacher lived.
The weather sucks, yes. But it isn't such an ugly city as they say, and all the people I met were lovely and very welcoming. Unless you are fighting with them for a spot on the next recital or to get the next scholarship. That's when things get nasty, and that's how you end up with broken fingers and the dreams your parents had for you shattered. Because becoming the best piano player of my generation wasn't my dream, it was theirs. Or my father’s to be precise.
So when Anastasia Hamilton pushed me down the stairs and I found myself with two broken fingers on my left hand, a sprained ankle and my body covered in bruises, I didn't complain. Well, that's a lie. I complained and cried because it hurt like hell. But I didn't complain when they told me I wouldn't be able to play the piano like I used to due to one of my fingers not healing properly despite being treated by the best doctors. I didn't complain because I was finally free. If I wanted to play, I would be doing it because I wanted to, not because it was my job, because I had to, because my future depended on it. Now I was free to finally follow my dreams and not my parents’. Or that's what I thought.
I told them I wanted to take a gap year to figure out what to do with my life, but they said no. They had decided that I should study to become a music teacher, to help others achieve what I hadn't been able to. We argued, they said that if I wanted to do anything different it would not be with their money, I said ok, and I found myself alone in Manchester with barely any money or a place to live.
And that's when I crossed paths with Julia.
I had gone to the shopping centre to see if anyone was looking for a waitress or someone to fold t-shirts in a shop, when I saw her crying in the middle of one of the corridors, most people walking past her and ignoring her.
"Hey, are you ok?" I said, kneeling in front of her. "Where are your parents?"
"Quiero a mi mamá" she sobbed. That was why people were ignoring her. She only spoke Spanish and they didn't understand her. But, lucky me, I used to go to the north of Spain for music summer camp and I can speak it fluently.
"¿Dónde está tu mamá?" Where is your mum?
"No lo sé. Estaba comprando una taza fea y..." Her mum was buying an ugly mug. I couldn't help but laugh at that.
"Ok, let’s go find her.” Where we were most shops only sold clothes, but I remembered I had just walked past a Zara Home. Maybe she was there? "Come" I said, grabbing her hand. She didn't say a word and just followed me, her sobs turning into hiccups.
"Julia!" a woman screamed the moment we turned the corner. "Oh, Julia, I thought I had lost you!"
"Mami!" the kid said, letting go of my hand and throwing herself at the woman. "Me perdí y esta chica me ayudó."
"Did you help her?" the woman asked me.
"I saw her crying and that people were ignoring her, and I decided to check on her. She was speaking Spanish and I think that's why most people were walking past her, because they weren't able to understand her."
"Oh, she always does that when she gets upset. Do you speak Spanish?"
"Yup."
"Oh, you are an angel" the woman said, hugging her daughter a bit tighter. "I don't know how I'm gonna be able to thank you."
"Knowing that she's alright is enough, don’t worry."
"No, no, no. You must allow me to do something for you. What do you say, Julia. Should we invite this wonderful angel to have lunch with us?"
"Yes!" Julia said, her English coming back. "We'll bake you a chocolate cake! Do you like chocolate cake?"
"I actually do, yes" I smiled.
"Then it's settled. Let me give you my card, it has my office phone number on it" Julia's mum said, opening her bag. "Call tomorrow morning and we'll schedule that lunch together."
"Ok. Thank you."
"Thank you" the woman said, giving me a hug. "My name us Lucía, by the way. But you can call me Lucy like everyone in this country does."
"Nice to meet you, Lucy."
Lucía, Lucy. A Spanish lawyer specialized in divorces, and the divorces of very wealthy people. Which meant that when I arrived at her house for that lunch date, I found myself before one of the most expensive apartment buildings in the city.
"Are you coming in, miss?" the doorman asked.
"Yes, hi, sorry. Do I have to tell you where I'm going or..."
"You don't look like a thief" the man chuckled.
"I'm not, I promise. I'm meeting with Lucy and Julia."
"Oh, yes. Miss Julia said a friend was coming for lunch today. An angel."
"That must be me" I said, blushing a bit.
"Then welcome, miss" the man said, opening the building's door. "Do you know their floor number?"
"Yes, the 7th. Letter B."
"That’s the one. Call for the lift and push the number, their house will be the one to your right."
"Thank you very much, sir."
"My pleasure, miss" the man said with a smile. Roger. The loveliest man you'll ever meet.
"So glad you could make it" Lucy said after opening the door, giving me a hug.
"Angel!" Julia screamed, coming to also hug me. "You came!"
"Of course I did."
"She’s decided to start calling you angel because of what I said at the shopping centre. I hope you don’t mind.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry" I smiled.
“Come, let me show you my room" Julia said, grabbing my hand and forcing me to follow her.
After a tour around the house and its many rooms, we were back in the living room, one where the small flat I was renting thanks to some money my grandparents had been sending me without my parents knowing, could perfectly fit.
"Is that a real piano?" I asked Julia.
"It's daddy's" she said. "We used to play together."
"That's lovely." My dad never played with me just for fun. It always was about practice, practice... And oh, yes, more practice.
"Do you play?" Lucy asked me.
"Since I was Julia's age."
"Oh, that's wonderful! Why don't you play something for us while we wait for our food?"
"Sure" I said, sitting in front of the huge black piano. It was a very expensive one like everything else on that building.
"Daddy used to play that!" Julia said when she recognized the song. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad... Mami, why are you crying?" she asked her when we finished.
"Because it was beautiful, sweetheart. And you play so well" Lucy told me. "Have you ever thought about giving lessons?"
"Not really..."
"Julia started to take them a few months ago, but her teacher... Had other things to do, so now she doesn't have one. Would you like to take her place?"
"Me?"
"Yes, angel! Be my teacher!" Julia said, clapping her hands and jumping.
That was what my parents had wanted me to do. To become a teacher. I wasn't going to be doing it at the music school, but this still was teaching, right? And I liked Lucy and Julia a lot despite only knowing them for just a few hours.
"I'll do it" I said. "I'll be Julia's teacher."
"Oh, perfect!" Lucy smiled. "When can you start?"
"Whenever you want. I have nothing else to do" I shrugged.
"Then tomorrow. I have to work, so maybe you could pick up Julia from school, bring her here and start your lessons? I'll pay you for that extra time."
"Ok" I nodded.
I had found a job, one that I liked, and one that was going to pay me handsomely judging by the numbers Lucy had mentioned while doing a draft of my contract.
I was so busy thinking about all that, checking the details she had given me about Julia's school, that I hadn’t noticed the lift had made it to the lobby and the doors were open.
“Are you going up again?” a male voice said.
“Uh?” I replied, lifting my eyes from my phone. And what did they see? The most handsome man you could ever imagine.
“Are you going up again?” he repeated.
“I…” I had forgotten how to speak. I may have not been wearing an ugly costume like Scarlett in one of the scenes where she met Chris Evans, but I had my jaw on the floor and definitely was making a fool of myself. “No” I finally managed to say.
“So… are you leaving, then?” he asked, trying to hide a smile.
“Yes” I said, still looking at him. Was he real? He was real. When he stopped the lift’s door from closing again, taking a step forward towards me, I saw that he was very real. “Thank you. Sorry. I’m leaving” I blurted out, my brain finally remembering how speaking worked. Kind of.
“It’s ok” he replied with a smile. No, not a smile. A smirk. One that made everything inside me turn upside down. “Bye” he said, walking inside the lift and letting go of the doors, disappearing behind them while I just stared. He must have thought I was stupid. A creep. Or both. But what else are you supposed to do when you find yourself face to face with the hottest man in planet earth?
“Miss, are you alright?” I heard Roger say from the door.
“Yes, yes. Just… Processing what just happened. That I got a job, I mean” I quickly added, noticing how he was arching an eyebrow, his eyes moving to the lift.
“Oh, those are great news, miss. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. I guess you’ll be seeing more of me from now on.”
And hopefully, I would be seeing more of him too. Of the hot neighbour, my own Chris Evans. Though later on I would find out that his name wasn’t Chris, that would have been too much of a coincidence.
His name was Rúben.
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A Day In The Snow
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Summary: You spend the first snowfall of the season with Wanda Maximoff.
Word count: 680
A/N: I know I'm very late in posting this. I wrote this fic weeks ago and totally forgot that I have it in my drafts. I hope you like it!
Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Today was your day off so you and Wanda could spend the whole day together. When you woke up, you looked out the window and saw the first snowfall of the season. You loved snow and were so happy that it was finally snowing. You looked back at Wanda, who had her arms wrapped around you and her head on your chest. After Wanda woke up as well, the two of you cuddled in bed for a while until you decided to get up.
You walked to the window and started smiling when you saw how heavily it was already snowing. You turned around and looked at Wanda who was still in bed.
“Wanda, look outside it’s snowing!” You yelled out of excitement and made Wanda chuckle.
Wanda stood up and walked over to you. She reached for your hand and you both watched the snow fall from the window.
“We should go outside after breakfast.” Wanda suggested and you nodded with a smile.
Then the two of you went downstairs to the kitchen to have breakfast. For breakfast, Wanda made pancakes with fruit and maple syrup. After breakfast you put on your warm shoes, a jacket, a scarf and a hat and went outside.
When you opened the door, you ran outside because you hadn’t seen so much snow in a long time. You walked around and then stuck your tongue out to catch a snowflake.
“Look! I caught a snowflake in my mouth!” you said, and Wanda smiled at you.
“Let’s build a snowman!” Wanda suggested and you nodded.
Wanda and you started to form snowballs. Wanda formed the stomach, and you formed the head. After you both finished, Wanda helped you carry the snowball you made over the one she made, to make it to a snowman. Then you took some stones that you found on the ground and used them as eyes and buttons. Wanda went inside and took a carrot for the nose. Then you both took a step back and glanced at the snowman.
“He’s so cute! Just look at the snowman!” Wanda said, looking over at you with a smile.
“Something’s missing.” You said, looking around thoughtfully.
“Really? I think he’s perfect.” Wanda said.
When you finally knew what was missing you reached for the hat that Wanda was wearing.
“Hey, what are you doing!?” Wanda asked in a confused tone.
But you continued doing what you wanted to do and placed the hat on the snowman’s head.
“Now he’s perfect. He just needed a hat.” You said to her and smiled.
After that Wanda grabbed for her hat. “Why did you do that? You ruined a perfectly good snowman!”
After a few minutes, you started to form a snowball.
“Snowball fight!!!” you shouted as you threw the first snowball at Wanda.
“Hey, watch my head! You almost got me in the face!” She shouted but then also started to form a snowball and threw it at you. A snowball fight had started, and you and Wanda were having a lot of fun in the snow, but after a while Wanda noticed that you were getting cold. She dropped the last snowball to the ground and looked at you.
“We should go back inside.” Wanda suggested.
“I don’t want you to catch a cold.” She continued to say and walked closer to you.
“Okay” you nodded.
“You’re probably right.” You spoke and Wanda came closer to you and took your hand in hers.
Once you were inside, you both sat down on the couch and Wanda went into the kitchen to make you both a cup of hot chocolate. After a few minutes she came back and sat down next to you.
“I love hot coco.” You said and Wanda smiled at you. Wanda rested her head on your shoulder and turned the TV on. After a while you cuddled up on the couch, while watching a Christmas movie. You had such a great day together and can’t wait to do that again.
#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x you#wanda maximoff x y/n#wanda maximoff x gn!reader#wanda x reader#wanda x you#scarlet witch x reader#scarlet witch x you#the scarlet witch#scarlet witch#wanda maximoff fanfiction#marvel fanfiction#marvel#marvel x reader#the avengers#avengers x reader#soft wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff fluff#elizabeth olsen
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Based on the posts I've been reading, the Titans rlly dislike Bruce xD
Do you have a list of stuff of the Titans clowning/making fun/hating Bruce? 👀
If there's too many (omg is it??), maybe just your faves or those that rlly impacted you
They do!!
I had the post mostly done in my drafts when I saw your ask and decided this was the perfect opportunity to finish it!
BUT I DEFINITELY HAVE MORE!
The tug-of-war between the two groups comes from the fact that Bruce canonically has codependency issues with Dick. He honestly needs his son at all times for everything.
The source of Bruce and Dick's relationship problems all sum up to this:
Nightwing (2016) Issue #7
"I wanted to give him the freedom to make his own choices. To do things his way, even if that meant making mistakes. And then...well, then I blamed him for how difficult it was for me to let him go."
He's so, so proud of Dick but he refuses to release him to be free. When Dick manages to get away Bruce hisses and shrieks in rage and fury and hurt that Dick left. Even those long stints where Dick was ignoring Bruce after being fired or after Jason's death, Bruce never ignored Dick. Sometimes going as far as stalking him like at the circus.
This one is post-Jason, pre-Tim era.
The New Titans (1988) Issue #61
Ignoring the self-realization backtrack, it's applaudable that Bruce was even able to get those words out at all. Usually it's just heavily implied.
So the reason why Bruce hates the Titans so much is because they're his biggest threat. They have the possibility of taking Dick away from him forever and he's terrified of such a future.
It wasn't originally like this though. In the beginning when Dick said, I'm gonna hang out with the Titans, Bruce'd be like "Sure, Chum, have fun!"
Teen Titans: The Silver Age Issue #1
But as Dick grew older, there was increasing animosity between the Titans and Bruce. It got so bad that Bruce gave Dick an ultimatum: Me or the Titans. Choose.
Nightwing (1996) Issue #101
"I know, I know...I'm late. Titans Business. We just shut down Brother Blood for...good.."
"Save it."
"Look, I don't know how many hundreds of people we rescued from Blood's cult, but it was a pretty important mission."
"I said save it."
Nightwing (1996) Issue #101
But here's where it gets worse. Bruce and Dick are too busy fighting that they both missed Clayface recovering, obviously in the end they defeat him but neither of them are happy for the oversight which leads to the final scene.
Nightwing (1996) Issue #101
Bruce literally fired Dick because he couldn't stand him staying with the Titans.
"Robin is my second...my lieutenant. Anything less that total devotion to this cause is simply wasting my time."
Devotion to the cause or to you, Bruce? He's freaking Batman. He's done solo runs and Dicks done solo runs as Robin just fine but for some reason whenever the Titans are involved, he loses his goddamn mind.
But hey. Bruce isn't the only one who gives Dick an ultimatum.
Titans (1999) Issue #15
Damn, Roy.
He came out swinging with a chainsaw.
Both sides want Dick for themselves. About 80% of the Titans problems with Dick lie in the fact that they want him to have nothing to do with Bruce.
Batman (2016) Issue #19
Titans (1999) Issue #15
They just want Dick's priority and loyalty to be to them, undivided. Unfortunately, Bruce expects the very same-only it's for himself.
The Titans get so angry at Dick for going back to Bruce and Bruce gets so mad at Dick for favoring the Titans. But Dick loves both of them so there's literally no winning for him. The successful periods for Dick are when both sides comprise for him.
They're willing to work together to protect him though.
Titans (2008) Issue #1
Outsiders (2003) Issue #50
The instant de-escalation at protecting the reputation of Nightwing and her girlfriend. Not to mention how it was Batman who wanted to keep the dirt off Dick.
But the issue is, like Victor said,
Titans East Special
Titans are family.
But Bruce can't bear for Dick to have a family of his own that's not him.
#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#alfred pennyworth#roy harper#arsenal#victor stone#cyborg#dc titans#titans as family#cl anon asks#thanks for the ask!
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part 1
so. this is part one of a red dragon!krs fic ive been building up… this first chapter doesnt really have much much interesting scenes as of right now, and I’d love love love the input from everyone on how to continue, ideas for characters, and if theres anything i should consider changing!! that doesnt mean that i’ll be changing everything according to commenters, but i’d value all opinions to help build this plot 🥲
I’ve already finished around 3 similar length chapters and recently got stuck, so think of these posts as drafts and final revisions will probably go officially on AO3. thanks everyone 🤪
———
Oh, Pitiful Dragon (1)
-
Ever since his birth, the child longed for death. If it could take away his pain and grant his freedom, he’d trade anything he had so scarce of already. And on a particularly horrible day— the day that terrible man decided he would rip out his heart and use it for evil— the little child met a god.
The God of Death.
He thought it was ironic, seeing how soon his own demise was due soon. But this God didn’t come to reap his death, rather it came to propose a deal.
And the red dragon would accept any deal to be free of this pitiful life.
-
Kim Roksoo awoke suddenly from his slumber. His vision was black and only began to adjust to his blurred version after continuous blinking. Why was it so dark? And how had he fallen asleep? He was just finishing Volume 5 of The Birth of a Hero series and now— wait, are those chains?!
His eyes blew open and his vision was finally adjusted to the pitch darkness that surrounded him. He tried to stand but winced when pain spiked all across his body. Only then did he realize just how badly injured he was. Why was he so weak? Had someone kidnapped and beat him to a pulp?! He was completely blinded by the inexplicable pain that he hadn’t realized something much more important. No— wait, pain is important! It’s definitely concerning! But… why was his whole body covered in crimson scales?
‘Oh geez, well isn’t this new.’
Shortly after he had that thought he passed out from exhaustion and shock.
-
When Kim Roksoo woke again, he was practically being strangled. He quickly gasped for air and focused in on his current situation. He was being held up tightly by a metal collar on his (very, very sore) neck by some strange man in front of him. His hair was a long, spiky mess of blond and didn’t look very well-maintained. But his eyes… they were bloodshot red and had a crazed glint to them.
‘Crazy bastard…!’
Roksoo’s breathing was beginning to strain more and more, and suddenly he felt something prick beneath his scales painfully. He looked down and saw a clear tube running from his body all the way through an open passageway not so far from him. His blood began flowing through it.
‘Blood— They’re.. taking my blood?’
His thoughts were becoming even more incoherent by the second but after securing the clear tube into the little red dragon, the crazed man dropped him to the floor.
“You’re blood is so pure and vibrant, it’s so beautiful.. just like the color of your scales! It will definitely aid our liege and his cause. Haha!”
All Roksoo could think of was how crazy this lunatic was. He was still heavily panting, because honestly when was he not at this point, but thankfully he hadn’t passed out again. Instead, he glared with all his being towards the crazy bastard standing above him. Unfortunately, it only seemed to excite the lunatic even more.
“Maybe I really should visit you more. That look in your eyes gives me chills!”
Mumbling to himself, the psycho soon left the room through the very passage his blood was being drawn towards, and Roksoo was left alone; unprotected and cold. He hated feeling this way. These people didn’t seem to want him alive for so long, considering his “luxury” treatment. He was going to miserably die at their hands sooner or later. And he was too weak to do anything about it.
His eyes suddenly flashed with memories— no, records— of his fight with the second unranked monster to plague Korea. Lee Soohyuk and Choi Jungsoo… he had let them die. It was his fault and he knew it. It was something he’d regret for the rest of his life. But… they had told him to keep living. To keep living for them. He couldn’t die. It didn’t matter how he got into this situation. He’d rather crawl in shit than die this pathetically. He’d survive his new predicament— this new life that’s been granted to him. He’d survive.
He’d definitely survive to smack these bastards in the back one day.
-
Roksoo had spent weeks in that dark hell. His blood continued to flow from his body to somewhere unknown, he was paid violent visits by that lunatic, and he got weaker and weaker because of it. But his will didn’t waver for a second. Whenever someone came in to check on him, he’d mark it in his mind every time. Soon enough, he learned their patterns and found openings. He finally had a plan to escape this hell, no matter how many holes there were.. it was a chance.
With his limited information, there was only so far he could get, but somewhere deep inside him, he knew he’d manage. So, he followed his instincts. The minute his opening came, he used all the strength he had gathered and focused.
‘Concentrate. Concentrate on that feeling you’ve been accumulating, Roksoo!’
Suddenly, Roksoo felt as if he’d achieved some sort of enlightenment like the ones described in murim stories. He felt an overwhelming warmth spread throughout his body and a rush of adrenaline pumped through his veins exponentially. This power… He didn’t know where it had suddenly manifested from, but he was sure now. He could get out of here using it. His mind and body began working beyond their limits, and eventually everything around him felt like it was moving at a snails pace.
‘Instant..?’
His second ability from his past life, Instant. Time would seize and he could move freely for a short while. With a heavy cost on his body of course.
‘But this… it’s similar to instant, but it’s not completely it. I think— No, I can definitely handle this much better than what I’ve been able to before in Korea.’
His new body must’ve integrated Instant into another power. And this new power was about to help him escape. A small smirk graced his torn and bloodied face. Perfect.
Shackles that were tying his limbs down shattered beneath the little dragon’s feet in the blink of an eye, and in a literal instant he was darting across the passage with his slashed and scarred limbs.
‘Keep going. I have to keep going and get out of here!’
He was sprinting through the corridors, and if anybody had looked his way all they would’ve seen was a long, red blur. A bright light was beginning to seep in between the cracks in the ceiling of the dark man-made cave he was confined in.
‘Screw the consequences, we’re blasting through!’
With incredible speed, Roksoo was right beneath the seeping cracks of light and expanded his unused wings for the first time. His wingspan barely fit within the wide corridor as he spread them out and up, blasting off from his spot on the ground and flying like a rocket towards the ceiling. He was making it out.
Just as he impacted and the dust and debris had shot up everywhere, he spotted a few individuals standing far off in the sunlight. The most notable was a red haired main of fairly tall stature completely frozen in place by Roksoo’s sudden escapade. He wore a strange white mask over his upper face, his eyes a bright red with hints of brown. The person looked far to similar to Roksoo. His prominent crimson red and his own piercing reddish-brown eyes. They would’ve looked entirely the same if it weren’t for Roksoo’s current form.
He only locked eyes with the man for a split second, and continued shooting up into the sky. He began to hear shouts and alarms blaring within his vicinity. He had been encaged in a mountain with a large encampment stealthily surrounding it. He’d remember this exact spot.
Massive fireballs and arrows began piercing the sky in an attempt to bring Roksoo down, but he clumsily maneuvered around each and just barely grazed a few on his crimson scales. Suddenly, a blinding white spear had crossed his vision. And before he knew it, another had pierced right through his wing, tearing it open a considerable amount. Roksoo stifled the cry of pain that threatened escaping his lips, and instead gritted his teeth and continued to fly towards any kind of safety. Anything other than here will be safe, he just needs to lose these bastards first. The adrenaline rush he had originally received numbed all the pain in his body, but he knew that wouldn’t last with his current levels. He had to make use of every last bit of this power that he had in him.
He flew over an ocean and kept flying as far away as he could. Eventually he reached the mainland. The forest underneath him was dark and vast, a perfect hiding spot. He glides over the tree-line and with his remaining strength he just barely managed a suitable landing right by a flowing river. His landing was a little on the rough side and he was still so sore, but… he had finally made it out. He was successful. Now, he could truly live a slacker life! Wait— he still needs to get back at the bastards who had tortured him in the first place. Ah.. he also needs to secure enough funds for his slacker life as well.
Sigh.
Roksoo had much to do before he got to live a peaceful life.
‘But first, let’s just lay here a little while longer…’
Roksoo succumbed to his exhaustion and pain, entering a deep slumber.
———
THANKS FOR READING to the end !! please let me know ur input, things i could change, add, etc, i lack a lot in this field and value ur feedback ! 😋
#<3#cale henituse#tcf cale#tcf#trash of the counts family#tcf novel#tcf manhwa#trash of the count's family#lout of the count’s family#kim rok soo as the red dragon#kim roksoo#kim rok soo#kim roksu#white star#aka white radish haha#red dragon krs#red dragon cale#red dragon#red dragon krs au#alternate universe#dragon krs#dragon cale henituse#dragon cale#fanfic#fanfiction#au fanfiction#au fanfic#thanks for reading <3
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TattooArtist!bfSuna
This has been sitting on my drafts for almost a year now and I don't know why I never posted it, so I've decided that in the next few days I'm gonna start posting everything that I left unfinished to see if it inspires me to start rewriting again.
Warnings: Suna beeing Suna, sex, nipples, chest mentions but no gender implied, kisses, relationship.
I'm on my Suna brainrot once again.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who, the first time you enter in his shop gets nervous and messes up the prices, so he ends up giving you a discount.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who leaves a whole slot for one day just to give you your first tattoo, and he’s even more excited than you. Once he finishes he palmes your arm encouragingly, as if you were a good little girl. “Well done, you didn’t even cry.” “I’m not a child, this wasn’t even painful at all.” “Oh, wait ‘til you get one in a more sensitive place.”
TattooArtist!bfSuna who always gives you the same cherry pink drink when he finishes working on your skin, because he saw you applying some cherry gloss on your lips, and found himself overthinking over the fact of how sweet that has to be.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who, a few months later when he kisses you for the first time gets to taste the cherry flavour on your lips and feels prouder than ever.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who has on his desk a drawing of yours that you drew one night when you both got drunk together, and he plans on getting it tattooed one day.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who shivers every time you trace the outline of his tattoos with your cold fingers.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who, every time you're feeling sad or down let's you colour the inside of his tattoos with colorful markers even if they end up looking childish, because he just wants to see his partner happy.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who caresses the skin on the inside of your thigh soothingly while giving you a tattoo there, getting turned on by the sounds of small gasps of pain you make. His breath is definitely too close to your intimate parts and the only thing you can focus on is the way his eyes keep getting darker.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who groans when you pull at his hair when the pain becomes too much, but let's you use him because he understands. Now, once he's done? He's fucking you ruthlessly and making you forget all pain.
TattooArtist!bfSuna who goes crazy when you tell him you wanna get some nipple piercings, and gives his workmate a free day to give you full attention, even if piercing is not his speciality, because there's no way he's letting his co-worker see your naked chest. He's amazed when you finally get it done and claim it wasn't too painful, but he's there with you the next weeks, when your nipples feel too sore and every shirt feels uncomfortable. He takes special care in healing them correctly, even giving your chest some nice massages that you know are not necessary, but who would complain? Not you, specially not after seeing Suna's eyes focused with adoration on you.
#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!!#hq headcanons#haikyuu#haikyuu oneshot#anime#art#hq#hq suna#haikyuu suna headcanons#suna smut#suna headcanons#haikyuu suna#suna rintarou#suna x reader#im back hehe#artist suna#my writing#writer
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Daryl & Daugther!Reader - Quarry Era II
Had this in my drafts for ages. I started writing and never finished, but I decided to post anyway. Thank you for all the love on Part 1! I'm sorry I'm not much of a writer to keep this storyline going :(
Words: 1591
Warnings: Nightmares
Gif not mine
Chapter song is Fix You by Coldplay
Part I
"And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace."
It's been a while since the three of them started the walk back to camp, which was proving to be especially hard for the girl. After the adrenaline went off, the pain on her feet and legs were becoming almost unbearable. With each step she got slower and felt weaker. A headache making its way over her head, probably a mix of pain, hunger and lack of sleep.
Before heading back to camp Daryl offered her water, which she accepted desperately. Even though she was happy the thirst was over, her growling stomach didn't let her forget the days without anything to eat. She didn't mention that, already thankful for the water. However, the girl's skinny body gave Daryl an idea of how hungry she must be.
Daryl and Merle didn't hunt anything, both too focused on the deer, so he made a mental note to feed her as soon as they got to camp. Daryl also tried to take a better look at her wounds, but she didn't let him. He didn't push and decided this was a job for Lori or Carol. They were the mothers of the group and the girl would feel safe with them, he thought.
"She's slowing us down man, if we don't speed up we're going to lose sunlight. This girl is like a damn walker bait. Hell, I can smell her blood from here." Merle complained again.
"I get it Merle! Stop whining alrigh?" Daryl said before approaching the kid.
She had been trailing behind them the whole time, never sparing them a glance and looking almost ready to bolt in the opposite direction at any moment. All of a sudden, Daryl realized that they didn't know her name.
"What's yer name kid?" She looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Y/n." She said, voice almost a whisper.
"Alrigh', Y/n. Look, someone has to check yer wounds and for that we need to get to the camp but ya can barely walk…" Y/n knew he was right. She was scared to let him do anything with her wounds, afraid it would make it hurt even more. But the girl knew that it would only get worse if they didn't get there faster.
"What if I carry ya?" Daryl proposed. "We'll get to the folks faster and everything's gonna be okay." Daryl looked at her expectantly, while Merle was still mumbling some nonsense he chose to again ignore.
Y/n pounded for a moment. She didn't know this guy, even though he seemed to be making an effort to at least make her feel less scared. The same couldn't be said about the other guy, his brother. Even with Daryl's effort, she wasn't sure if trusting him was the right decision. However, it's not like she had any other choice at the moment.
Y/n looked up at Daryl and nodded her head. He handed his crossbow to Merle and picked the girl up. She felt so light and Daryl couldn't help but wonder how long she was alone out there, without food and water.
Y/n wrapped one of her arms around Daryl's neck, looking for something to hold on to. It was weird, how she didn't even know this man but felt safe in his arms. After being alone for months, she really wanted to believe someone good was going to help her.
Daryl arranged the girl in his arms and resumed their walking, Merle leading the way with Daryl's crossbow, aware of any danger.
They arrived at the camp a couple hours later and Daryl came in calling for the first person he saw, which in that case was Lori. "Daryl, oh my god??? Who is that?"
Daryl immediately felt Y/n's arms wrap harder around him. "It's fine kid, don't worry."
"We found her in the woods, alone and hurt."
Minutes later, the whole camp was reunited outside the RV while Lori and Carol were inside with Y/n. The girl felt more at ease with them, like Daryl imagined. But she was still unsure about everything and everyone.
After they treated her wounds and helped her clean up, Daryl brought some of the squirrel from his last hunt along with more food from the camp. Being clean and fed, it was like Y/n could finally think straight again.
Yours later, everyone started to retreat to their tents for the night. Inside the RV, Y/n tried to stay awake, her brain still on alert for some reason. But after a while her body started to give up and she fell asleep to the sounds of the dying conversation outside.
“It will be okay my baby, just run and don’t look back, okay?”
“But mom, what about you?”
“I’ll be right behind you, go!” The little girl ran, but she couldn't help looking back. However, when she did, it made sense why her mother told her not to.
Screams, that’s what Daryl woke up to. He jumped out of his tent and saw Shane, Glenn and Dale outside the RV. “What the hell happened?”
“It 's Y/n.” Shane said “Lori is-” As if on cue, Lori leaves the RV. And to everyone's surprise, she smiled at Daryl.
“She’s asking for you, Daryl.” Daryl looked at Lori as if she had grown another head but entered the RV anyway.
“Hey kid, what's up?” Y/n was sitting in bed, death grip on the blanket and scared look on her face.
“I miss my mom” Daryl didn't know what to say, he didn't understand why she would want him there of all people. “Could you stay here until I fall back asleep?”
To be honest, Y/n didn't want to sleep, not if that meant another nightmare, but her body didn't give her any choice. Daryl saved her, his presence made her feel safe, so maybe he could help the bad dreams go away. Daryl was still confused, but he simply sat down in the chair close to the door and nodded his head, watching as the girl laid down, closing her eyes and falling asleep once again.
The first week went by smoothly, Y/n couldn't think about anything other than sleep. Her body begging for rest in order to heal. She didn't talk much, still overwhelmed with the new environment and everything that happened, but slowly feeling more at ease with everyone. Amy was the one to bring her food the days she stayed in bed. Lori or Carol would brush her long hair after she washed up. Glenn and Dale would make her laugh with silly jokes. Andrea and Jacqui would help change her bandages. Daryl would always check on her at the end of the day. He didn't say much, only put his head inside the RV, saw her asleep and then went to his tent.
The second week was better, she was stronger and more active. However, the nightmares still hunted her at night. Since Y/n got in the camp, Carl and Sophia were anxious to talk with her. But she was weak and scared so the adults held them back. When she started feeling better, spending her days sitting in the staircase of the RV and watching the camp, Carl approached her. With everything that happened Y/n didn't really had the time to think about the other kids at camp. She knew Sophia was Carol's daugther and Carl was Lori's, but they never talked and she suddently felt nervous. It's been ages since she last talked with someone her age.
"Hi, I'm Carl. You're Y/n, right?"
"Yeah.." Y/n smiled awkwardly.
"Shane's going to teach me how to grab frogs, you wanna come too?"
Y/n apreciated the invitation but she couldn't help but ask "Why would you want to grab frogs?"
Carl seemed like he wasn't expecting the question but answered anyway "Well, it's just funny, they jump so high trying to run away" he said with a little laugh "But we release them right after, Shane says they probably taste really bad to eat."
Y/n was the one ot laugh this time, for sure she wouldn't want to eat a frog.
"Okay, it seems fun" Y/n said looking at the boy in front of her.
"Yes! It's going to be really fun, I'll tell Shane you're coming" Y/n laughed again seeing the boy excitement, she couldn't help but feel it too. After the last stressful weeks, it was good to have some distraction.
Y/n met Sophia a couple nights after her frong hunt with Carl and Shane. The camp was having dinner and since she started feeling better, she started to have dinner outside with the others. The first night she went straight to Daryl, he and Merle sitting around a fire further from the main camp. In the short time Y/n was there she could notice how they differed from the rest of the camp. Her, as well, felt unsure, not of Daryl but his brother. The first night she left the RV and went to Daryl, Merle looked at her they same way he looked at her back in the woods. Like she was an walker bait. Daryl didn't showed much affection towards her, at least not in clear eyes. But he silently made sure she was fed and safe every single day, most of the others from the camp would not notice most of the time, but he did and Y/n knew it.
Taglist: @justmare
#the walking dead#daryl dixon#daryl x reader#daryl dixon x reader#daryl x daughter reader#daryl dixon x daughter reader#the walking dead fanfiction#twd fanfiction
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