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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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MC’s half Demon, and they look AWFULLY familiar...

‘Kay guys, I got a different kind of stupid Headcanon to throw at you. Get ready!

Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

*ahem* picture if you will, it’s the day the exchange program is set to start. The student council (nix Mr. Kill All Humans, Weeb-supreme, and our Scummy Sweetheart) have assembled to welcome the new human student. All is going according to schedule, the portal opens up at eight am sharp, they hear the pitiful screams of the selected human who was not given a heads up about the whole thing, and the poor little human falls straight onto the marble floor.

There’s something a tad... off about this human don’t you think? After they’ve peeled their sorry ass off the floor they observed the assembled student council with an air of sophistication and self importance that no one expected. Their posture was perfect, their eyes sharp and calculating... they bared a striking resemblance to-

“Lucifer,” Diavolo looked to his right hand man, then back to the human. “The human kind of looks like you!”

And out popped four pitch black wings from the human’s back and two small horns out of the sides of their head, one horn was a bit bigger than the other. They even still had some of their down feathers! How cute!

((Content warning: Swearing (I have a potty mouth, forgive me), but that’s it.))

Luci-dad

So, the MC is Lucifer’s kid! Of course Mr. Prideypants immediately tries to recall exactly what little romp in the human world uh... spawned this half-human half-demon child of his. Good thing MC’s got the other parent on speed-dial.

“Please note, MC,” Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose upon hearing Asmo take even more pictures of his newly discovered hellspawn. “I was not aware of your existence, if I was I’d-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset.”

Lucifer blinked a few times in surprise. “P...pardon? You aren’t upset?”

“No, my parent told me that my father was a high ranking demon, and they bare no ill will against you. Though, I am looking forward to this whole... exchange program thing.”

Oh wow, that was easier than Lucifer thought. Damn. Well, he was a father... (let’s be real, he’s been parenting his brothers for thousands of years, and a good chunk of you sinners call him daddy)

MC is probably the most protected student at RAD, despite the fact that they have no visible security detail whatsoever. They didn’t want to be seen as... weak and pathetic.

Something about this human just... set the lesser demons on edge. Any talk of eating them was stamped out on the first day when they walked by. It’s like Lucifer himself was staring at them, daring the demons to try and bother the human. MC’s powerful presence kept them protected and feared.

...at least until dear uncle Asmo decided to do their hair one morning. All those ribbons may have looked adorable but they kind of ruined the intimidation factor.

MC loved to mess with the other students, keeping their lineage a secret for the first little while just made it so much funnier when the other demons tried to scramble out of MC’s way without looking like they were running from the ‘weak little human exchange student’.

Oh wow, what a sadist. Like father like child

Flying lessons are a must. Poor MC isn’t terribly good at controlling their wings, and their horns are still growing in so when they pop into their demon form the first thing they get is a sore skull. Ow... it sucks that Lucifer isn’t outwardly very sympathetic.

“Ow!” MC crashed face first into the grass in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. “Father! My wings are cramping! Can’t we practice this tomorrow?”

The sight of seeing his dear child crash face first into the ground had lost its hilarity after the first three times. Lucifer slowly lowered himself to the ground and crossed his arms as he stood over his incredibly grass-stained kid.

“MC, we’ve been ‘practicing this tomorrow’ for the past month. If you want to learn to fly you’re going to have to actually manage to stay in the air for more than three minutes.”

MC shot Lucifer a withering glare that only preteens were capable of, Lucifer matched it with his own much more sophisticated glare.

“You’ve been flying for over a thousand years! Don’t you have any tips that can actually help other than ‘don’t panic, you’ll look ridiculous’?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face and looked around, the two were alone as far as he could see.

“MC,” Lucifer began. “When I was a young angel, I needed to learn how to fly with someone else.”

MC perked up. “Who?”

“Michael. The smug bastard picked up flying quicker than I did.”

“What’d you do?!”

Lucifer smiled at his child’s intense investment. “I practiced flying every day for five extra hours until I could do everything that Michael could do, just better.”

MC’s starry eyed interest died almost instantly upon hearing about the extra five hours of practice. “Humph, I bet I could outfly younger you and Michael with only two hours of practice a day.”

“Really now?”

“Yes! Watch!” MC shook off their wings and took off in a running start before shakily making it into the air. Their form was decent enough, and they weren’t shaking as much as the previous attempts. “SEE?!”

“Yes MC,” Lucifer smiled. “I can see.”

You know what else Lucifer could see? MC crashing right into a tree.

“Ouch...”

Okay... maybe they could halt practice a little early and order a treat from Madame Scream’s. A little sugar to refuel is needed when the end goal is crushing a mutual rival beneath their heels. Just some good old fashioned father/child bonding time!

MC has a smaller seat right next to Lucifer’s seat in the Assembly Hall. I will not compromise on this one.

For all your fluff needs, I give you: Lucifer teaching MC how to play the piano. He has a proud little smile on his face when his kid finally starts getting it. That’s all. Enjoy the image.

That one Uncle who gives you Alcohol at Family Gatherings (Mammon)

Yeah, when Mammon burst in late to the party and whining about everyone’s spamming him with texts to haul his scummy ass to the Assembly Hall, the last thing he expected was to see a mini-Lucifer.

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?!”

The glare the two Lucifers gave the poor Avatar of Greed was enough to make him want to turn tail (uh, wing) and book it down the hall.

“Mammon, this is MC. They’re my child.”

“Hello.”

“...whaaaa..?” Mammon looked between the two, same glare, same intimidating aura, same annoyingly good posture.

Mammon scratched the back of his neck and looked over at his older brother. “Do I uh... still gotta babysit em’ if they’re not human?”

“The lake of Cocytus will melt the day I let you babysit without supervision.” Lucifer grumbled.

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

Despite Lucifer’s initial denial, Mammon and MC ended up spending a lot of time hanging out when Lucifer was busy with paperwork. Of course Mammon’s first thought was ‘how do I profit off this situation?’

MC is now Mammon’s designated babysitter after they caught him picking up their feathers that had fallen off with the intention of painting them white and claiming they were Lucifer’s from back in the Celestial Realm.

Mammon does end up spoiling MC a little. Just a smidge. They’re the kid of his totally not his favourite brother after all! How could he not? Whether or not these gifts are obtained legally or are legal at all is subject to scrutiny.

“Mammon, I can’t drink this!” MC placed the bottle of Demonus back on the counter of the kitchen.

“Why not? That’s a bottle of the good stuff! We gotta celebrate you gettin’ an A on that test somehow!”

“I’m underage! Incredibly underage. I’m not legally allowed to drink.”

Mammon wordlessly plopped a silly straw into the bottle. “...does that help?”

“No.” MC then inclined their head to the bottle. “And I don’t want to get hung from the ceiling, that bottle was in my father’s study yesterday, I’m above theft.”

“How old are you s’posed to be anyway? Never mind... uh...” Mammon wracked his brain for something else he could do for MC that didn’t cost anything (don’t judge him, the poor bastard was flat broke!). “I could... teach you to drive!”

“Driving?”

“Yeah! Drivin’ is awesome! We can take my car!”

The bills for the damages done to the car and the Devildom were mailed to Lucifer the next day, and MC and Mammon got to keep each other company as they hung from the ceiling. Ah well! At least MC wasn’t upside down!

Mammon wasn’t that good of a flight teacher either, he also crashed into a tree (the same tree MC crashed into, actually) when he was cheering for MC. They were finally able to do a loopdy loop! He was proud and distracted! Okay?! Lucifer! Stop smirkin’ at him! It’s not that funny!

At least the vantage point from the tree was decent and the branches didn’t scratch him up too badly. Oh hey... that person walking by was wearing a very nice watch... he’d be right back-

That Uncle That is Always Absent From Family Gatherings and When He is Present He Leaves Early (Levi)

He missed everything. That is not an exaggeration. He was in the middle of an online raid battle and couldn’t look at his phone! No Lucifer he can’t pause an online game! That’s not how it works!

Okay, the human exchange student is half demon? WOAH! THAT’S JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME- W A I T. THE LITTLE NORMIE IS LUCIFER’S KID?!

Okie doke, he was fully convinced that MC just had to be an anime protagonist.

They binged every series that Levi compared them to. Sure MC might have missed a few assignments because of late night anime binges, but they were too good for this school crap anyway, right?

Nope. Lucifer put a ban on the two watching anime until both their grades improved. Surviving that hell brought the two together.

“Ugh!”

The sound of a pencil case being haphazardly thrown across the room made Levi peek out of his bed-tub. If his figurines got knocked over so HELP HIM-

“This is stupid!!I shouldn’t have to catch up with this!” MC crossed their arms and gave their Demonology textbook their best disapproving glare.

Lucifer Lite (tm) was having a hell of a time trying to claw through their missed work, and Levi sympathized, he really did, it’s just... he was playing Animal Crossing-

Levi paused the game to placate his anime-buddy when their wings popped out and he feared for his rare merch’s safety.

“H-hey, MC? Do you need help?” Levi’s offer was met with a bone chilling glare that lived rent free in his nightmares ever since. He had pulled a Mammon and forgotten he was talking to Lucifer’s child. Lucifer’s allergy to help must have passed down to MC.

“No! I don’t! It’s just... dumb!” MC hissed, she turned and looked over at the fish tank. “Right Henry 2.0?”

Henry 2.0 did not respond.

“MC, you need to finish your homework or we can’t watch anything together,” Levi sighed, he had finished his work over an hour earlier. He had mastered the art of all night anime binges and managing to do most of his work in the fifteen minutes between the time he woke up and the time school was supposed to begin. “We haven’t even binged all of volume 4 of TSL yet!”

“Mmm...” MC grumbled. “Fine...”

MC picked up their pencil case and began continued their work. Levi breathed a sigh of relief and went back to Animal Crossing.

The tiny normie did in fact finish their work, only after they caved and asked Levi for help. Swore him to secrecy, they did... very intimidating, they were.

Just saying, he most definitely sent that one Keanu Reeves meme with big Keanu and little Keanu but with Lucifer and MC to the wrong group chat. Poor bastard.

Flying lessons? No. Levi hadn’t flown since his time in the Celestial Realm, he had no advice to give other than: “Flap your wings!”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING YOU-”

MC didn’t get to finish that thought, they lost their balance and fell right into RAD’s fountain. Ah well, Levi had a head start on running for his life that he squandered by laughing at MC. RIP.

The Uncle/brother/whatever the fuck that Starts a Fight With Your Dad at the Family Reunion. (Satan)

Oh... another Lucifer? Eugh. Gross.

Satan gave the kid a wide berth when they first met. Everything the kid said or did ticked him off. “Tsk. Look at MC. Making an omelette. So annoying.” “Oh wow, MC vacuumed? Roll out the red carpet, we need to celebrate their existence!” “Look at them. Breathing. Disgusting.”

MC’s pride wouldn’t ever let them admit it but... they knew Satan didn’t like them, and it hurt their feelings.

“Shhhh,” Satan whispered into his backpack.

“Meow.” The backpack replied.

“I said shhhhh.”

The backpack did not reply after that, which was a good thing considering the little princet of the HOL was nearby.

“Satan?” They asked. “Who are you talking to?”

Satan coldly brushed past them as he made his way to his room. “No one you need to concern yourself with.”

When the little calico kitten was safe in his room, Satan quickly realized a mistake in his foolproof ‘sneak a cat into the house’ plan. He didn’t have any toys for the kitten, and he didn’t want his books getting scratched...

It was alright, he’d just rush out to the a store that sold cat things and rush back! Five minute trip tops!

Well when Satan got back the cat was no longer in the room. Oh dear. He discreetly tore apart the house looking for the poor little thing until he ended up finding it in the library, happily chasing around a loose feather being held up by MC.

“Oh, hello Satan.” MC chirped as the kitten batted it’s adorable little paws at the feather.

“My... my door was closed. Did you let the cat out?”

MC shrugged. “I heard meowing.”

Satan ran a hand through his hair and grumbled. Stupid smaller Lucifer. Stupid original Lucifer. Everyone sucked.

“Let me guess, you’re going to run to Lucifer and tell him all about the meowing and the rule breaking.”

MC shook their head and glared at Satan. “Of course not. I’ve already gotten way too attached to this little guy anyway. We’re co-parenting this kitten like mature adults.”

With some coaxing, Satan did sit down and play with the kitten, maybe MC wasn’t... so terrible.

The two watch Unsolved Mysteries together, that’s their show. “This guy did it.” “Satan, we’re two minutes into the episode-” “Trust me.”

Thirty minutes later.

“He did it.” “See MC, what’d I tell you?”

Lucifer did find out about the cat, but with enough pleading, MC and Satan managed to warm up the cold spot in Lucifer’s chest where his heart should have been. The cat’s name is Detective Toe Beans (or just Bean).

Satan can’t fly, he has a tail, but he did read up on wing anatomy and how flight actually works in demons, his advice would be good in theory, but it’s full of so much technical jargon that MC can’t understand it.

At least MC didn’t crash into something, they barrel rolled through one of the HOL’s windows. Good thing it was the window to their room. The broken arm still hurt like hell.

The Best Dressed Bitch Who Brings The Booze to The Reunion. (Asmo)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Lucifer’s kid was SO CUTE! A thousand pictures commemorating that adorable moment needed to be taken! Wait- Lucifer- GIVE BACK THE PHONE-

Asmo, surprise surprise, absolutely adores little MC! So cute! So small! He was just so excited to announce to all his Devilgram followers that Lucifer was finally a certified DILF.

That post disappeared five minutes after it was made but the damage had already been done.

Asmo made sure MC looked their best at all times, if they needed help talking to anyone? Asmo’s got their back!

Sure, maybe he’s a little pushy, but pushy’s a good thing sometimes, right?

“Asmodeus-”

“No, these shoes wouldn’t fit you...”

“Asmo-”

“No, not these ones either...”

“ASMODEUS.”

Asmo squeaked and jumped upwards, Geez Louise... little MC’s voice could sure be scary when they wanted it to be...

“I don’t need any fancy new shoes.” MC huffed, sitting up straighter in one of the chairs in Asmo’s room. “I thought this was supposed to be a sleepover.”

“Hmmm...” Asmo pouted. “Makeovers are an essential part of sleepovers... what’d you do with your human friends up in the human world that could possibly be better than a make-over?!”

MC began to list things off. “Ordered junk food, talked about people we hated, watched movies,”

“Greasy food is so bad for your skin...” Asmo cringed and shook his head violently. “But I’m totally down to watch a movie and bitch about people I hate!”

“Ah yes, human sleepovers, a tradition I never quite had the chance to enjoy.” Solomon said from Asmo’s bed. “Who are we bitching about?”

“Remind me what Solomon is doing here.” MC muttered as they sat down in front of Asmo’s TV.

“Because, I wanted to hang out with my two favourite humans.” Asmo cooed, reaching over and trying to pinch MC’s cheek, which they awkwardly dodged.

“Can we watch The Exorcist?” Solomon asked, propping his head up with his hands.

“Ew, no.” Asmo made a face at him. “That scene with the vomit? Hell NO.”

“Mm.” MC mumbled. Asmo turned to look at them.

“MC? Are you doing okay? You don’t look like you’re having any fun...”

“I’m fine.” MC grumbled.

Asmo pursed his lips, as much as it made his little narcissistic heart break, he nudged MC. “Why don’t you pick the movie, sweetie. I’m sure Solomon and I will like anything you pick!”

MC noticeably brightened. “Let’s watch Scream!”

The strangled noise that came from Asmo was... concerning, but to his credit, The Avatar of Lust held his tongue about his distaste for the movie, and the three slumber-party goers had quite the lovely time.

After the movie ended, MC went back to their room, sure it was a sleepover but their bed was right down the hall.

Good for Asmo and Solomon. Horny fuckers. We stan.

Asmo just claps and tries to cheer MC on when it comes to their flying lessons. (The idea that Asmo came up with to wear his cheerleader costume from the previous Halloween was immediately shot down by Lucifer)

“You’re doing wonderful, MC- WATCH OUT FOR THE POWER LINE!”

MC didn’t hit the power line, but Asmo’s scream of terror caused them to fall butt-first into a dumpster. Their injured tailbone served as a tragic memory of the incident.

Oh well, good thing Asmo had nice smelling soap to give that could mask dumpster-stink.

The Uncle that eats everything and tells you to eat your veggies while you angrily pick at your broccoli at the kid’s table. (Beel)

Lucifer... has a kid?! Beel choked on the cheetos he had snuck into the Assembly Hall when the kid’s wings popped out.

Oh wow, that’s nice :) maybe they can eat together. Belphie would probably like them.

Wait what is the gender neutral term for Niece or Nephew?

...Nibling? Uh... let’s not say that around Beel. We don’t need him to get hungrier and begin associating MC with nibbling on things.

The Underground Tomb incident probably went a little differently, but after all that nonsense, the two are closer than two peas in a pod!

Mmm... peas...

“Beel?” MC stepped into the Avatar of Gluttony’s room.

“Hi MC.” Beel was doing push-ups in the middle of the room, on the ground right beneath his head was a massive bowl of spaghetti that he bit into every time he completed a push-up. “Can you come stand on my back? I need the extra weight.”

“On your back?” MC padded closer. “Are you sure? It’s not going to hurt?”

“No, it’ll be okay.” Beel assured them. “Belphie and I did this all the time. Except Belphie is normally asleep.”

MC tentatively stepped onto Beel’s back. It was a balancing act to say the least, they eventually gave up on standing and ended up sitting cross legged between Beel’s shoulder blades.

“You did this with Belphegor?” MC asked.

“Yeah,” Beel sighed. “He was always too tired to exercise, but he’d let me bench press him sometimes...”

MC frowned and hugged their knees to their chest. Knowing full well that Beel’s twin wasn’t in the human world like Lucifer said was absolutely ripping them apart from the inside. Guilt felt just as rotten as their pride did when they were being belittled...

“Maybe you’ll see him again sometime soon.” MC whispered. “Maybe my father’ll come to his senses and let him come back down to the Devildom.”

Beel paused his push-ups for a brief moment, then nodded and went back to his eating exercising combo. “I hope so. He’ll like you, MC. I’m sure of it.”

MC nodded. “I... hope so.”

Beel’s a pretty decent flight teacher, but his wings are just so different from MC’s that it renders any tips he had next to useless.

“MC, maybe your wings aren’t flapping fast enough.”

“Beel, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not a hummingbird. Or a fly. I don’t need to flap my wings a million times a minute to stay afloat.”

Ah well, MC tried to take some of Beel’s advice, but their lower right wing cramped up and they ended up flying in circles until Beel was able to catch them. Ah well, better than the dumpster incident the previous week.

The Uncle That Passes Out in The Basement and You’re Not Allowed to Wake Him Up Even Though All Your Toys and Video Games Are Down There. He Also Picks a Fight With Your Dad’s New S/O Before He Passes Out. (Belphie)

Sitting in the attic was quite a drag, and this supposedly weak little human was quite the annoyance to try and call out to. It took a lot longer than expected, but when he heard little footsteps coming towards his prison, Belphegor nearly jumped with joy.

Oh... it... looked like Lucifer. Smelled like Lucifer. Stood like Lucifer. Quacked like Lucifer. Or... trilled..? Whatever sound a peacock made, this brat sounded an awful lot like Lucifer.

A... half-demon. Hmph. Belphie honestly thought Lucifer had actual standards. Not anymore, he guessed.

(Man I could fill a whole-ass fic with the Belphie betrayal thing, but for now let’s skip to post attic nonsense)

Okay so maybe MC wasn’t disgusting. They made a good nap buddy. It was cute when their wings came out when they were sleeping sometimes. Well... it was cute when they didn’t hit him in the face and make him wake up with his mouth full of feathers.

What Beel said had been true, Belphie made a good substitute when weights weren’t available, but Beel didn’t want MC to feel left out, so Belphie and MC ended up sitting on his back while he did push ups. MC once got bored and started playing Go Fish with Belphie on Beel’s back while he exercised.

Yes. MC is still a member of the Formerly-Anti-Lucifer League.

“Are you sure he’s not going to be too mad at us?” MC asked for the dozenth time that day. Detective Toe Beans was wrapped around their neck like a scarf (he had gotten so big!!!) while MC nervously sat in one of the Library chairs.

“Positive.” Belphie said with a toothy grin. “Besides, he’s like putty when it comes to you. Just give him your best puppy eyes and we’re not guilty on all charges.”

Putty..? Really..? Lucifer..? How strict was he before MC got there... they wondered.

“Sh! He’s coming!” Satan stuck his nose into a random book, it was the Oxford English Dictionary... and it was upside down.

Belphie pretended to pass out and MC decided that the best course of action was to stare deeply into their cat’s eyes. Yeah... that looked casual and not weird.

“Satan, MC, Belphie.” Lucifer nodded to the three of them as he walked towards the entrance to his study.

“Lucifer.”

“Afternoon, father.”

Belphie let out a cartoonishly loud fake snore that nearly caused both MC and Satan to break cover and start laughing.

Side note, Bean had adorable widdle eyes! That cute little face was just to die for-

“You three..!”

Belphie, Satan, and MC peeked their heads into Lucifer’s study, their handiwork was perfect. Everything was covered in red post it notes. Perfectly not harmful, but SO inconvenient!

“You’re all cleaning this up or so help me-”

“GO!” Belphie and Satan each grabbed one of MC’s arms (Satan also grabbed Bean) and sprinted out of the House of Lamentation. Maybe they’d move back there in twenty years... they hoped that Solomon and The Angels would let them crash at Purgatory Hall...

Belphie had used up his physical energy supply for the next four years. He passed out the moment they stepped into sanctuary. Time for a nap...

Flight practice? Ha. Belphie’s napping. Though, he was suspiciously awake and filming whenever MC did something stupid.

“Try not to suck so bad.”

“GO TO HELL BELPHIE!”

“I’m already there. Hell is every second I’m stuck here watching you fail.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT FOR THAT!”

Well... MC mastered the dive bomb that day. Lucifer bought them a cake.

Bonus! Your Dad’s New Husband! That Has Managed to Somehow Make Everyone Hate Him Despite the Fact That He’s A Cinnamon Roll. (Diavolo)

A mini Lucifer? A mini Lucifer!

Diavolo dotes on MC like he’d dote on his own kid. MC wants a crown? They’re getting a crown! A damn nice one too! MC wants a title? Here! MC is now... idk Ruler of the area between Majolish and Hell’s Kitchen.

Poor Uncle Mammon’s got some financial insecurity, he’s still the cool uncle... right?!

He is very much that ‘how do you do fellow kids?’ Meme.

He tries to do stereotypical ‘dad’ things but he’s not very good at them. Once he tried to host a barbecue...

Barbatos saved the day, but Mammon’s hair was still singed, Solomon’s cooking still gave Beel food poisoning (SOLOMON EATS TOXIC WASTE I SWEAR-), Luke still got hit in the face with a frisbee, and Simeon got an unhealthy dose of DAD NERVES and got so stressed everyone was almost blinded by the holy light he suddenly started blasting. We do not mention the water guns.

(Seriously whose bright idea was it to give Belphie and Satan water guns while they were in Lucifer’s presence?)

Praise Barbie. He’s too good for them.

“Um...” MC awkwardly held up the baseball, trying to look at it from all angles like it was a completely alien object. “Lord Diavolo... are you sure you want to play catch?”

Diavolo clapped his hands and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Yes! It’s a thing human fathers do with their children, correct? We must make up for lost time between you and Lucifer, right?”

Lucifer massaged his temples and nodded. “If you two would like to play catch...” Lucifer grimaced. “I will too.”

“Okay! MC, throw the ball to Lucifer!” Diavolo instructed.

Lucifer half heartedly held up his baseball glove as MC tossed him the ball. He caught it, and looked over at Diavolo, who was applauding like he just witnessed the greatest feat in sports history.

“Okay! Throw it to me!” Diavolo waved his glove in the air, Lucifer rolled his eyes and smiled. He threw the ball at Diavolo with... a lot of force. Enough force to probably dent steel... Diavolo caught it like it was nothing.

MC suddenly feared for their safety.

“Okay MC, catch!”

Diavolo threw the ball with enough force to break the god damn sound barrier. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the ball sailed way over MC’s head and crashed right through a window.

“Oh my...” Diavolo put a hand on his hip and surveyed the damage to the window. “This isn’t so bad, I believe in human world TV shows this happens quite often. Look! The glass broke in a perfect circle!”

“Yay... property damage...” MC murmured.

Lucifer sighed and pulled out his DDD. “I’ll phone someone to replace the win-”

“Lucifer no! Now according to human world customs we must,” Diavolo took a deep breath, rushed forward, grabbed both Lucifer and MC’s hands and started sprinting away from the Demon Lord’s Castle. “RUN FOR IT!”

“Di- Diavolo!” Lucifer gasped.

“Who are we running from?! That’s your castle!” MC squeaked.

“I don’t know! Just run! That’s what the human TV show says to do!”

Weirdly enough, Diavolo was the best flight instructor. MC’s ability to fly increased tenfold after Diavolo found out that MC was learning to fly.

“You’re doing amazing MC! That was a perfect turn!”

“Thanks Lord Diavolo, I’m surprised I haven’t crashed into anyone or fallen yet!”

“Well, I highly doubt you’ll be crashing into anyone anymore, your flying is practically perfect now!”

Mammon proceeded to fly past them holding what looked like Lucifer’s wallet.

“M-mammon?!”

“Oh... I wonder what he’s doing. Look, MC! It’s Lucifer! Hello Lucifer dea-”

Lucifer ended up colliding with the two of them and sending them all crashing to the floor.

That was the last time MC fell during flying practice.

(We currently have a Go Fund Me set up for Mammon to get the funds necessary to flee the Devildom after that incident. Please donate to save- oh shit hi Lucifer-)

934 notes · View notes

ptergwen · 3 years

Note

Could you write something about Tom going live on IG with his gf? like, they recently went public and the fans freak out about how whipped Tom looks or something like that 👉🏻👈🏻

eep this is adorable 🥺 i def want overboard cuz it’s pretty long uh

“love, you getting in?” tom calls to you from the living room, phone propped up in front of him. “yeah, one sec!” you yell back and join him on the couch. he puts an arm around your shoulders with a kiss to the side of your head. you lean into him more, his fingers running up and down your arm. “you sure you’re ready to do this, hm? we don’t have to,” he says quietly.

it wouldn’t be an understatement to say the entire world has been buzzing about yours and tom’s possible relationship for months already. a few out of context paparazzi pictures sparked the rumors. tom held you protectively by his side while you headed to the car after dinner one night. the moment was captured along with a few other intimate ones as time went on.

there was so much speculation, fans scowering the internet for your social media, trying to figure out who you were and how you knew tom. they’d come up with the wildest theories not just about you two, but about you only. some funny, some creepy, some just completely untrue. you’d come to a point where you wanted to set the record straight.

tom didn’t have any intentions of going public at first. this was exactly why. he already didn’t like what people were saying about you, so he couldn’t and refused to imagine how it would be if he confirmed you’re together. he’d thought he was doing what was best for you until you asked him to break the news to everyone.

he was skeptical of doing so, not wanting to put that attention on you because his experiences haven’t been so great, but you assured him over and over again you wanted this. tom eventually gave in and made a post with a caption the length of an essay to tell everyone about your relationship. he’d only hit post after you read it over and approved everything, of course.

today, you’re going live with him so his fans can get to know you a bit better.

“i’m okay, baby. i think you’re more nervous than i am,” you laugh out and give his cheek a quick peck. “probably. gonna have to learn to share my girl with the world,” tom sighs, keeping his arm tight around you as he leans forward. “they’ll want to steal you away from me.” “other way around, i think,” you retort. he’s forgetting he’s the internationally loved one.

“not after this.” he glances over at you so you lock eyes. “can i start the live?” “go for it,” you agree and watch him press the button. it connects a few seconds later, tom exhaling as he sits back again. going live in general always makes him anxious. having you here, subjecting you to the possible wrath of his followers, spikes his anxiety even more.

you put a calming hand on his knee, which he smiles at. you’re okay, he’s alright, you’ll both be fine. tens of thousands of people flood the live at once. the numbers grow right before your eyes, so much that it’s intimidating. “woah,” you mutter, earning a chuckle from tom. the comments don’t take long to start coming in.

everyone is saying your name in all caps and keyboard smashing. tom likes to wait a little before officially starting, giving himself some time to figure out what to say and things. he grins at you in his camera, you furrowing your eyebrows back. “hey guys,” tom begins as casually as usual. he purposely ignores all the comments yelling at him to explain himself.

he loves messing with the poor people.

“how’s everyone’s day going? we’re great, having a blast over here,” he carries on, pulling you in closer to his chest. “oh, you’re funny,” you mumble and pat his knee. your head is resting on his shoulder while you read the comments from your lopsided angle.

“they’re telling me to talk. should i talk?” you jokingly ask for tom’s permission. “rather you than me,” tom mumbles and presses his lips to your forehead briefly. that sparks more hearts and way more questions. you sit up again to properly adress the half a million people watching you. it’s a fuck ton, definitely not as many as you’d expected.

you’re that popular, huh?

“jeez, there’s a lot of you in here. this is terrifying,” you gasp at the thought, turning to tom. “how do you do this?” “rarely,” he replies and bites back another smile. “i get so stressed.” adjusting yourself so you’re sitting criss cross, you raise your hands in defense. “no, i have too much power right now. i don’t like it.”

“you sound like thanos,” tom decides, bursting into a fit of giggles when you shove at his arm. you then kiss your hand and tap his cheek with it to make up. his skin is warm. “anyways. i guess i’ll, like, introduce myself? i’m y/n.” the fans are cracking up at you two, others dropping the soft eyes emoji. tom makes that same face at you in real time.

“that’s about it. um,” you let out a laugh. “i don’t know. thanks for having me and being pretty nice so far.” he keeps gazing at you while you link your arm in his, your head on his shoulder again. “keep being nice because tom will cry or something if you aren’t.” he’s looking at you with literal heart eyes, a small smile on his lips, listening to your every word.

“seriously though, i hope you guys like me. you seem pretty cool. we-“ you cut yourself off when more comments than earlier spam the screen. “what happened?” you pick up tom’s phone to read them. they alert you of his heart eyes, so you put his phone back down and see for yourself. his small smile becomes a toothy one.

“aw, tommy,” you coo, rubbing your nose against his, tom pecking your lips. “doing good, love.” he can’t help himself. he doesn’t have to anymore. everyone starts shouting iterations of she called him tommy and they kissed, but you’re both caught up in each other at the moment.

by high demand, you join tom for another live soon after this one.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland smut #peter parker fluff

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hyper-super-clover · 3 years

Note

For the requests‚ what about a family trip to the beach with Purgatory Hall + the royals and MC? Like Simeon and Barbatos setting up a picnic table meanwhile MC and Luke play around in the sand searching for shiny or strange things to building a sand castle (everything also keeping Solomon and Diavolo far from the preparations for the picnic)‚ playing with water guns or swimming. And after eating maybe playing a match of volleyball sand, admiring the sunset till it's nigth time and before going back‚ playing with fireworks, do a little stargazing or something--

Feel free to ignore this and thanks in advance anyway~

FINALLY I've come to write something for this lovely request. It's packed with so many fun ideas that I kinda went overboard with it xD this means the story is so big I'll have to split it into two posts!

To Bisshitu: I wanted to thank you for your continuous support! I see you in my notifs a lot and I really appreciate it!! (ALSO I AM SO SORRY YOU'VE WAITED SO LONG I HOPE YOU WILL STILL ENJOY THIS CHAOS)

Literally just 13 idiots on a beach trip~

Part 1

MC was leaning against one of the walls in the giant entrance halls of the House of Lamentation. Standing next to them, Solomon handed MC an opened bag of spicy newt chips. "Want some?" He asked and MC gladly took a few while constantly watching the commotion that was going on in the rest of the hallway.

Who would've guessed that going on a vacation with the seven rulers of hell would involve the most panicked, loud and chaotic packing of bags to have ever existed?

Well, let's be real, MC did expect it, but maybe not to the degree that they were in amusement about now.

The oldest brother had called the others for a "luggage check" as he had been sceptical of his brothers' talents in packing reasonable items in an, likewise reasonable, amount of suitcases and bags.

And of course, the first one to show up had to present his luggage in the form of... nothing.

Yes, Beelzebub came up to Lucifer, only the remains of a sandwich in his hand (which didn't last longer than three more seconds), confused when Lucifer mustered him with an angered glance.

"Where's your luggage?" Lucifer asked, to which Beel only gave a shrug.

"We're going to the beach, right? Which means I'll only need my swimming trunks, and I wear those underneath my pants."

Now the confusion has wandered over to rest on Lucifer's face. "But... Won't you need clothes to change into, or at least pyjamas for the night?"

"Hm..." Beel scratched the back of his head while thinking about Lucifer's words. "Nah, I don't need those. I'm planning to stay at the beach all the time, so..." Then suddenly, he gasped as he remembered something. "Wait, I do have something else prepared to bring along!"

Beel reached into his pocket, and when he pulled out a hand-written list that unrolled itself, plonking onto the carpet and rolling all the way to Lucifer's feet, the avatar of Pride knew exactly what said list was going to be.

"There are a few food stands that I'd like to try out..." Beel announced, eyeing the paper. "First of all, there's one selling shaved ice, which I want to compare to the ice-cream from this other stand, but who's also selling parfaits of which I kind of want to try all twenty-five flavours... Also then there's of course-"

"Beel" Lucifer interrupted the avatar of Gluttony in a strict tone. "Go pack a proper bag."

"But-"

"Now."

Letting out a sigh, Lucifer watched as Beel left.

But little did he know, this had only been the beginning of the chaos...

Moments later, Lucifer has found himself explaining to Satan why taking 70 different books with him would be ridiculously much. Also Mammon had taken this opportunity to "lend" some of his brothers possessions, arguing that he "needed those for the beach". This had worked until his swift fingers touched Levi's limited edition Ruri-chan sunscreen.

So, as Lucifer was spam-calling Belphie to wake him up and finally have him start packing, a sudden argument could be heard from upstairs:

"... How dare you steal my precious Hana Ruri 'magical sun ray protective lotion for all blooming heroes of justice'?! This very sunscreen is an homage to the legendary beach episode where Azuki-tan got a sunburn and couldn't help Ruri-chan in the intense battle against the evil kelp-army that was threatening to overgrow the local reef-"

"OKAY OKAY, HERE'S YOUR STUPID CREAM NOW LEAVE ME ALONE"

"S-STUPID CREAM?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PRECIOUS THIS ITEM IS TO A FAN LIKE-"

That was all Lucifer could understand as an awfully annoyed scream Mammon let out was drowning Levi's gibberish. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Lucifer knew this vacation was going to be one intense experience...

An hour later, the group found itself where this little story had started off. The Purgatory Hall crew had already arrived long ago, enjoying the chaos together with MC -- who, btw, had been the only one to pass Lucifer's vibe luggage check right away.

Slowly it felt like most of the brothers were ready to go, only Asmodeus was left in the judgemental glare of the avatar of Pride.

But Lucifer noticed they already were way behind the time they were supposed to meet Diavolo at his castle. So, to Asmo's luck, he let off of trying to see what's inside the pretty boy's suitcase and announced the group's departure.

In enthusiasm shared by almost everyone, they let out a big cheer:

"Off to the beach we go!"

Some of the demons had whined about wanting to visit the human world beach. But as those idiot boys literally couldn't be trusted to act responsibly (which is okay, we love them regardless), Diavolo offered to stay at the beach resort he created in the Devildom.

Looking over the endless ocean, surrounded by the equally large beach and glistening in an artificial sun's light, MC was wondering just how powerful the demon prince must be to have created all this. But they were left only little time to be in awe over the location, as their friends demanded their attention shortly after having arrived.

Without going into much detail -- the day was packed with lots and lots of fun. MC was running around the beach, playing and goofing around with their friends, only to take a collective rest and then go do something silly again. Only a few other demons were to be found at the resort, but those were some acquaintances of Diavolo's family, and the group seemed to have scared them off of the beach after, like, an hour or so. Hence, the whole beach served as their playground for whatever activity they wanted to do, until in the afternoon, most of them were about to collapse from exhaustion and hunger.

"That's right, we didn't really have a proper meal since coming here" Asmo noticed as several tummy grumbles undermined his statement.

"We DID bring a picnic basket..." Satan mumbled. "But some genius had to let Beel carry it."

The culprit gave an immediate pout. "I had to hurry, 'kay?!" Mammon huffed. "MC was already at the beach and I--" he stopped. "... U-uh... I mean..."

Gaining a round of sighs and shaking heads, his brothers however decided to let Mammon's... mammon-ness slide for once. Mostly because, approaching from the distance, Barbatos and Solomon were getting closer, their hands full with bags that seemed to be stuffed with food.

"Y-yoU BroUGhT S-nAcKs?!" Beelzebub was already on his feet running towards them but Barbatos' stare was actually enough to make him stop.

"Not before the dishes are prepared, Beelzebub" Barbatos explained calmly, but with this very weird hidden tone in his voice that gave everyone chills despite the scorching summer heat.

"We figured everyone must be starving by now, so Barbatos suggested we'd make a little picnic party with everyone" Solomon cheered, presenting the bags in his hands.

"That sounds lovely" Simeon could be heard among the general noise of approval. "Let me help you prepare everything, Barbatos."

The demon butler beamed him a smile, thanking the angel for his help.

Then, Solomon spoke up again, and every bit of joy vanished from all their faces: "Thank you, Simeon! With the three of us working together the food will be ready in no time!"

--------------

Barbatos was putting all kinds of spices into a bowl to create a delicious sauce. Right next to him, Simeon prepared mouth-watering sandwiches.

And behind their back, there was this chopping sound. Chop reaching their chop ears in an chop never- chop ending thread, over and chop over again...

Swallowing his tension, Simeon was fighting a frown. "He's only cutting the fruits..." He whispered. "You shouldn't be able to mess up a fruit salad..."

"I know" Barbatos mumbled back. "However I cannot fight this unease that urges me to check if he's really-" He was interrupted by a very unsettling "oops" coming from that certain sorcerer at the cutting board.

In honestly quicker than the blink of an eye Simeon and Barbatos were at Solomon's side, frantically scanning the table for whatever Solomon must've messed up. When all they found were slices of fruit that, well, might have been chopped a bit wonky, they gave Solomon a confused stare.

"I cut off too much of this poor Hellberry's pull" Solomon explained. "Oh well, I'll just cut around the stem and add it to the fruit salad like this."

Both Barbatos and Simeon couldn't help but stare for a moment longer, their brains not really comprehending NOT finding an abomination in Solomon's cooking.

"Can I help you two with anything?" The sorcerer then asked.

"U-uhm, no..." Simeon mumbled. "It's all fine, we just..."

"We wanted to see if there's anything we can help you with" Barbatos jumped in to continue.

"Thanks, but I'm fine. Actually I'm almost finished, so maybe I can help one of you afterw-"

"Nononononono...!" Simeon almost whined. "I-its fine! We're actually almost finished ourselves, so..."

Solomon looked back, raising an eyebrow. "Doesn't look like it to me..."

Suddenly, another voice joined the group.

"I agree! You two are likely just being humble again" Diavolo had walked up to their working station a moment ago, but neither of them seemed to have noticed in their stress. The prince continued: "That's why I decided to lend you a hand as well. This is a vacation for all of us, so I should not burden my loyal butler with all the work."

"That's a commendable attitude for royalty like yourself" Solomon cheered. "Well then, I think Simeon and Barbatos could use a hand."

Diavolo was already squeezing his quite broad body into the tiny cooking space, this certain over-excited sparkle in his eyes as he mustered the food.

Barbatos and Simeon on the other hand were exchanging glances, so immensely stressed that their thoughts were almost audible:

'Barbatos I don't think I can handle any more of this stress' Simeon stared.

'We shouldn't have let Solomon help in the first place, our kindness was foolish' Barbatos stared back.

'What do we do now Barbatos this is the only food we have left, they cannot ruin it'

Thankfully, the perfect butler was not planning to let their "help" threaten the food for any longer. "Young master, I highly appreciate that you thought of my well-being. Which is why I indeed have a request for you and Solomon."

Simeon almost barged in on a frightened impulse, but Barbatos continued before anyone could raise their voice. "There is dessert stored in our hotel's main storage. Would you be so kind and bring enough for our whole group?"

A little surprised, Diavolo agreed. He waited for Solomon to finish cutting the fruits, then they went off to the hotel.

Finally able to catch a breath, Simeon shot Barbatos a last glance. "That was easier than expected. Why didn't we let Solomon bring the desserts earlier?"

Back to mixing spices, Barbatos didn't look up at the question. "What desserts?" He simply asked.

"... Uhm..." Simeon was quite startled. "Are there... Are there no desserts in the storage room...?"

"Oh, I sure hope there are" Barbatos said. "Otherwise I will have some explaining to do..."

-------------

(To be continued...)

Find my summer event Masterlist and Rules for the requests here <3

#obey me #obey me shall we date #clover's om summer event #thx for requesting side character content #i love them and had fun writing them!#the second part will drop as soon as i finish it #i hope its fun #obey me lucifer #obey me beel #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me asmo #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me solomon

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Manager!Seijoh Part 3

a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!

also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

combined two anon requests:

- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?

- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA

oof girl the world is ending

so basically,,,,,

the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor

tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?

you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting

lmao couldnt be me

your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything

hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions

it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better

but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger

this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you

it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there

like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them

maybe this was what fueled others on more

your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh

this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction

however,,,,

today,,,

this morning,,,,

at 7:53 AM,,,,

they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying

um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM

!!!!!

and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school

it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away

when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’

kyoken was already advancing to you

yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you

‘-and she destroyed my sheets’

you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes

how can someone laugh so beautifully?

like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy

‘oh god, i wasnt-’

you were cut off with a hand that held your arm

you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts

he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong

‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’

he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse

just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger

‘toshi i have to-’

then you were cut off again

‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN!’

‘OIKAWA!’

‘CAPTAIN!’

from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain

‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’

oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away

most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares

‘oh, its you’

kunimi grumbled

‘kunimi, whats happening?’

hitoshi questioned

you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi

‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’

you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you

‘yep. ill see you later then’

‘bye’

you softly said and he turned to walk away

but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes

‘boys, what was that?’

you gritted out

‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’

he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi

they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up

‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’

you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies

‘sorry, y/n-chan’

oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands

‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’

‘sorry’

you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class

‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’

‘yes’

they chorused and you nodded, satisfied

‘ill hold you to it!’

you shouted as you walked down the hallway

when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms

‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’

‘oi stop it, shittykawa’

but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well

kunimi sighed

‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’

and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?

nuh uh, dont think so, francisco

from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know

and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him

this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else

during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him

‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’

but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation

so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said

‘shittykawa get off my back!’

‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’

‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’

yall what

mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to

no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking

kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class

they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened

you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense

the coaches even looked confused

‘did you guys fight?’

you questioned but no one answered

kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor

the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side

the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off

overall just not seijoh babie vibes

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨

‘hey’

you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on

‘oikawa-san, what happened?’

‘are you dating him now, y/n?’

the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise

your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting

but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you

‘dating,,,? dating who?’

you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows

‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’

oikawa hissed

‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’

he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut

‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’

he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go

you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples

‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’

no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out

a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him

‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’

you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest

‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’

the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side

‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’

‘IWA-SAN!’

you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first

iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously

‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’

you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly

‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’

the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat

but oikawa was the most offended

‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’

he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face

you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others

‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’

kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you

‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’

‘stay as ours forever, okay?’

you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs

but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that

so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch

‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’

you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours

‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’

oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back

‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’

practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created

but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only

i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem

after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction

‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’

you rolled your eyes

‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’

they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them

as you were both walking, you looked up at him

‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’

‘hah?’

he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks

you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly

‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’

but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist

thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt

‘k-kyo-san?’

bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him

he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?

so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck

‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’

he just grunted and you laughed

he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world

yuhhhhh get it kyo

‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’

you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face

it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered

he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks

your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side

‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’

you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes

‘i-i do?’

you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you

maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in

but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks

‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’

he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out

you felt his lips move and you laughed

‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’

but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school

it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’

he shouted in betrayal

you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain

‘mine’

again, do you know what happened next?

oikawa screamed

this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)

1K notes · View notes

teenwolffan-with-nolife · 3 years

Text

The Witch and The Wolf Pt.52

Word Count: 2,745

Characters: Derek Hale, Noah Stilinski, Jordan Parrish, Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski (mentioned), Liam Dunbar (mentioned), The Mute, Scott McCall, Reader

Pairings: Derek Hale x Witch!Reader

Warnings: angst, some fluff

A/N: i have writer’s block :/

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Derek was resting on top of your body, his head resting on your neck as you wrapped your arms around him, finding it hard to find sleep. The two of you laid together on the couch, not wearing any clothes.

Derek had been asleep for some time now, there was no surprise. He was exhausted, even if he didn't want to admit it. You stared out the window, your mind kept thinking about everything that was happening, from Derek to working with Sheriff Stilinski. It became harder and harder to watch him look around the station, with it only half the size it was before. And it was all because of you, someone he trusts.

Your phone rang slightly as you jumped, waking up Derek as he gasped softly.

“Crap, sorry,” you apologized.

“Who’s calling you?” he asked.

You picked up the phone, frowning slightly.

“Sheriff Stilinski. Is everything okay?” you asked, sitting up slightly as did Derek.

“Not necessarily. I need you to come back to the hospital. With Derek,” he replied.

Derek frowned before nodding his head.

“Y-Yeah, we’ll be there in a few,” he hung up the call as you turned to Derek.

“Oh, I guess it’s bring your boyfriend to work day,” he smirked slightly.

“Oh, haha. Come on, go put on some clothes,” you scoffed, trying to hide your nerves.

You pressed your lips against his, before getting off the couch, throwing your shirt over your head.

---

“So he was a wendigo?” you asked.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen one in California before,” Derek replied.

The two of you stood on the roof of the hospital, along with Sheriff Stilinski.

“What can you sense?” you asked.

“I think there was someone else here too,” he frowned.

“Scott said there was some ax murderer and Sean,” Sheriff Stilinski replied.

“There was someone else. Young and male. I can smell something,” Derek said.

“I’ll go check the security cameras,” Sheriff Stilinski nodded, heading back inside.

“What can you smell?” you frowned.

“I don’t know. I’m gonna need your help on this,” he turned to face you.

“Me? How?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Use your powers. Focus and try to tell me what’s here,” Derek explained.

“I don't necessarily have a spell for this-”

“Then make one. Or combine one,” he replied.

You sighed nervously before nodding your head.

“Revertere,” you felt chills going down your spine as you gasped, your eyes turning purple.

“T-There’s blood… and fear,” you started.

“Is there anything else?” you took a deep breath, gagging at the smell.

“I-I think the person broke a bone,” you started.

“Okay, that's something… (Y/N),” you scrunched your eyes, taking a shaky breath as you could hear screams fill your ears.

“(Y/N)!” Derek put his hand on your shoulder as you gasped, opening your eyes.

“Your nose is bleeding,” he pointed out.

You wiped your nose, slightly embarrassed as you shook your head.

“S-Sorry,” you replied softly.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Why wouldn't I be?” you replied.

“Yeah, okay. Let's go find the Sheriff, okay?” Derek asked.

You nodded your head, before receiving a spam of texts, and then a call from Scott.

“Scott? What is it?” you said.

“I-I screwed up!” he yelled.

“Calm down, what happened?” you asked again.

“I… Come to my house, please. Like now,” Scott yelled.

“Uh,” you turned to face Derek as he nodded his head.

“I-I need you,” he said.

“O-Okay, I’m on my way,” you replied.

“Thank you,” he hung up the phone as you walked to Derek.

“I…” you started.

“Go, it’s okay. I can handle Sheriff Stilinski on my own,” he nodded.

You kissed his cheek softly.

“I’ll see you at home?” you asked.

He nodded his head, before you stroked his cheek, walking away.

---

“Scott?!” you yelled, running up to his room.

“(Y/N),” he and Stiles sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing their heads nervously.

“Go in the bathroom,” you frowned, before walking to the bathroom, opening the curtain.

“Oh my god,” Liam sat inside, duct tape around his mouth, arms, and legs.

His eyes went wide, as he screamed, muffled through the tape.

“You kidnapped a kid?!” you screamed.

“I-I bit him,” he stuttered.

“First, get him out of the bathtub! What the hell?!” you pulled him up, walking him to the bed.

His body was shaking as he sat down on the chair.

“Don’t scream, Liam. If you don’t scream, the duct tape stays off, okay?” Stiles warned as you glared at him.

He pulled the duct tape off while you pulled Scott aside.

“What happened?” you asked.

“Sean was going to kill him. He threw him off of the building and I had no choice. I had to save his life,” Scott explained.

“Well, congrats, I guess,” you shrugged.

“(Y/N), help me!” Scott whined.

“What am I supposed to do?” you whisper-yelled.

“I-Is he dying or is he turning?” he asked.

“Uhm,” you turned back to the little kid, bending down to his level.

“Sensum,” he gasped as your eyes glew purple, holding his hand.

“Yeah, Scott. He’s turning,” you nodded.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Stiles asked.

“For starters, maybe untie him? He’s probably freaking out enough as it is,” you replied.

They nodded, while you took the duct tape off of Liam, while he kept looking at the floor.

“Hey, I know you're scared, but we’re gonna help you, okay?” you started, earning a small nod from him.

“Good, what's your name?” you asked.

“Liam,” his voice was barely above a whisper.

“Okay, Scott and Stiles are going to help you. You can trust them, okay?” he continued to nod softly before you stood up.

“Scott, explain to him what's happening. And Stiles… just leave the poor kid alone,” you rubbed your head.

“What about you?” Scott asked.

“As much as I want to help you, I can’t. You, as an alpha, need to form a bond with him, by yourself. You can’t do that if I’m here criticizing your style,” you replied.

“No, I really need your help,” Scott shook his head.

“My hands are tied, Scott. You can do this, I believe in you,” you pat his back as he sighed.

“Well, thanks I guess. I’ll see you tomorrow or whatever,” you gave him and Stiles a small smile before walking out of the house.

---

“Derek?” you called, walking into the loft as chills ran down your spine, seeing the power out.

“Derek?” you yelled again.

“He’s not here,” you jumped, hearing Peter’s voice, slightly strained.

You slowly made your way in the direction of his voice, before gasping. Peter laid on the ground, an ax sticking out of his chest.

“Help me,” he groaned.

You pulled him up, dragging him to the table as he leaned against it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” you heard Derek’s voice as he entered the loft behind you, frowning slightly.

“The ax murderer is after the supernatural. Look at what he did to Peter,” you said nervously, scratching the back of your head.

“That looks like it hurt,” Derek said.

“We need to find a safe place for you,” you muttered.

“What? Why?” he scoffed.

“Peter has an arrow in his chest!” you exclaimed.

“And?!” he replied.

“Derek, what if that was you?! That thing broke into the loft, and almost killed Peter! Who would've known that Peter was here?! He was obviously coming for you,” you raised your voice.

“He could've been coming for you too,” he replied.

“But my powers are fully functional,” you argued.

“I wouldn't call that fully functional,” he scoffed.

“Derek! This is serious! What if that was you?!”

“But it wasn't! I’m not completely useless, (Y/N),” he shook his head.

“We don't know if you’re dying or not. That hunter… what if he’s trying to speed up the process?” your emotions were a mix of both anger and worry.

“(Y/N), take a breath. You need to stop stressing out about this, okay? Just… I will be fine,” he put his arm on your shoulder.

“Don’t go anywhere without me,” you said.

“I never go anywhere without you as it is,” he replied.

“As much as I would love to see the part where you two start making out, don’t forget about the man who’s bleeding out on your table!” Peter yelled while you rolled your eyes.

“Okay, fine,” you started.

“Wait!” Derek stopped you.

“What?” you asked.

“We should just leave him like this for a few hours,” Derek shrugged, while you held back a laugh.

“I’ll die,” Peter argued.

“Then half of our problems would disappear,” Derek said.

“Well, I don’t want him to die, I mean he could be useful sooner or later,” you replied.

“We both know that’s not true. But we’ll just leave him for a few hours, okay?” Derek raised an eyebrow.

You put your hand on his waist, nodding your head while you heard Peter protesting behind you two.

---

“And he escaped last night! He was tricking all of us!” Scott groaned.

“Smart kid,” you said.

“(Y/N), please help us!” Scott begged.

“Who are you talking to?” Derek whispered, walking into his room while you sat on the bed.

“It's Scott,” you replied.

“What happened?” he laid next to you, resting his head on your chest.

“(Y/N)!” Scott yelled.

“Okay, I told you I can't help you!” you replied.

“Can Derek help me?” he asked.

“What do you need help with?” Derek asked while you put the phone on speaker.

“I bit someone. He's going to turn but he doesn't trust me, in fact, he keeps running away from us,” Scott explained.

“Interesting… good luck,” Derek shrugged.

You smiled softly, before stroking his head.

“That’s not advice,” Scott groaned.

“Every alpha has their own way of teaching their betas control. I used their pain and fears. But you’re not like that,” Derek explained.

“So how am I supposed to help him? There's a full moon, tonight,” Scott said.

“Just take him to Lydia’s boathouse, like you do for Malia,” you shrugged.

“How am I supposed to get him there if he doesn't trust me?” Scott asked.

“I don’t know, Scott. Tell him there's something big happening,” you replied.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Scott sighed.

“Well, you’re gonna do good. You have a 14-year-old-”

“He’s fifteen,”

“A 15-year-old kid who probably wants to party. Do something with that,” you said.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, I guess,” he ended the call as you wrapped your arms around Derek.

“Well, you’re in a good mood,” you said softly.

“I like laying down like this. It’s like a soft pillow under my head,” you smacked his arm softly.

“That’s a compliment!” he scoffed.

“Yeah, okay. We need to get up and get to Sheriff Stilinski’s office,” you replied.

“I know,” he nodded.

You pressed your lips against his forehead, laying down with him.

“I love you,” you said softly

“I love you too, (Y/N/N).”

---

“He talked through this,” you handed Sheriff Stilinski a small arm pad with a keyboard attached to it.

“It’s military,” he noticed.

“Who runs around with a tomahawk?” Sheriff Stilinski exclaimed.

“Well, I had one for I.E.D removal in Afghanistan,” Parrish walked into the office, as you raised an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s… can we track it or something?” you asked.

“Yeah, I can plug that armband into a laptop. It's going to take some time, of course,” he said.

Noah nodded, handing him the band as he sat on the desk, plugging it into the laptop.

After a few minutes of silence, you heard a beeping come from his laptop.

“I got something,” he frowned.

“It’s an IP address,” he started.

“We can track that, right?” you asked.

“Yeah… I think I found another message. Does anyone recognize the handle ‘The Benefactor?” he asked.

You shook your head, frowning before you looked at the laptop.

The Benefactor: Money Transferred

“What does that mean?” Derek asked.

“It means we’re not just dealing with a killer. We’re dealing with an assassin,” Sheriff Stilinski realized.

You felt chills throughout your bones as you held Derek’s hand, squeezing it softly.

“W-Where did you track the IP address to?” you asked.

“Uh… to Beacon Hills High,” he said.

“Fan-freakin-tastic,” you muttered.

“Well, let’s go then? (Y/N), Derek, with me,” you both nodded, following him out.

---

“Just because it connected to the school wifi doesn't mean he’s here,” Derek pointed out.

“We've lost too many people to be able to walk around this school at night,” Noah held his gun out, pointing it carefully.

You walked down the hallway, before Derek pulled you back.

“Look,” he pointed to the floor, where a pile of blood laid.

“Blood?” you frowned.

“I didn't smell it,” he said softly. You felt your heart drop slightly.

He stood behind you, while you opened the door slightly, before stopping, seeing a string attached to the doorknob.

“It’s an explosive,” you said to Noah.

“A claymore… get down!” Derek wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to the ground as you gasped, seeing an ax go flying over your head and hitting the wall.

---

Noah fell to the ground, while you pushed yourself up, yanking the ax out of the man’s hand, pushing him against the lockers.

Derek grabbed him, pulling his arms behind his back while he struggled.

“Handcuffs,” Noah threw them to you, as you put them around the man’s arms, holding him back.

“Come on, we’ll take him down to the station,” Noah said.

You nodded softly, before seeing Peter standing across the hall, his claws out.

“Peter…” you started.

He ran to the mute, pushing his claws into his chest.

“Peter!” Derek yelled.

Peter pushed him to the ground, on top of him as he continued scratching at him, blood splattering across the walls and on all four of you.

You clenched your jaw tightly, as Derek pushed Peter back.

“We learned a better way,” Derek growled.

“I’m a creature of habit,” Peter replied.

“We could have used him,” you dig your nails into your palms.

“And now he’s dead,” Peter said.

“Oh, you son of a-” your eyes glew purple as Derek held you back.

“No, don’t,” Derek shook his head.

“We need to figure out why this is all happening and why he came after you in the first place? We need to find out who the benefactor is and we need to know who else is on this list,” you exhaled softly.

“And we will. Come on,” Derek put his hand on your waist.

“We should clean this all up,” you sighed.

You watched as Peter walked out of the school.

“You can go, Sheriff, we’ll clean this up,” you said.

“No, (Y/N). You two should go home,” Noah shook his head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

You nodded softly, leaving the school with Derek.

---

“Why are you getting so stressed out?” Derek asked softly.

“Why aren’t you getting stressed out?” you replied.

“I’m too tired,” he sighed.

You pulled off your jacket, running your fingers through your hair.

“Okay, hey, look at me,” Derek put his hands on your cheeks, stroking them softly.

You closed your eyes, sniffling.

“We have to go take a shower. We’re covered in blood,” you said.

“(Y/N),” he said again.

You looked up at him nervously.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said softly.

“Peter killed our only chance at finding who sent that man to kill us,” you said softly.

“But we can still figure this out,” Derek said.

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded softly.

“So what else is on your mind?” he asked.

Your eyes watered slightly as you took big breaths.

“I don't want you to die,” you whispered.

“(Y/N), I’m fine. I’m not dying,” he shook his head.

“Please, Derek,” you scoffed.

“You need to stop thinking negatively about everything. Especially now. I’ll admit it, I’m sick. I’m not fine, but you can't say that I’m dying. I-I’m scared,” he said softly.

You stroked his cheek softly.

“But I can't keep focusing on that. There are so many other things that we need to think about,” he said.

You nodded as he wrapped his arms around you, while you buried your head in his chest.

“Come on, let’s go take a shower, yeah?” he gave you a small smile while you pressed your lips against his.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

64 notes · View notes

kismetintheuniverse · 3 years

Text

Bucciarati’s Gang + La Squadra Texting HCs

╔══════════════╗

𝕭𝖚𝖈𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎'𝖘 𝕿𝖊𝖆𝖒

╚══════════════╝

ʙʀᴜɴᴏ ʙᴜᴄᴄɪᴀʀᴀᴛɪ

- Types like your boss.

- ‘Will someone please pick Narancia up from the store? He broke the car.’

- He will say the most outlandish thing in a completely serious tone.

- ‘I’m in the hospital, got shanked by a tweaker.’

- The gang thought he was joking. He was not.

- Uses emojis and slang sparingly. Phrases like ‘omw’ and ‘ty’ are most common.

- The only emojis he uses often is ‘👍’ and ‘👋’.

- Overall professional and understandable.

- Doesn’t use images, gifs, or videos.

ʟᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴀʙʙᴀᴄᴄʜɪᴏ

- Very sarcastic.

- ‘Oh no im sorry should i come over and kiss your boo-boo?’

- Doesn’t use much punctuation aside from ending punctuation and hyphens. Can’t use commas to save his life.

- No one can tell if he is actually mad or being sarcastic.

- Uses ‘😶’ and ‘🧐’ most often.

- Doesn’t use images/gifs/videos

- Refuses to use dms, and often get made fun of it for it.

- ‘Giorno please im on my knees im begging you please stop being cringe im actually going to cry please ill do literally anything just shut the fuck up.’

ɢᴜɪᴅᴏ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀ

- Types very modern.

- ‘can one of yall pick me up slommy from the store’

- Doesn’t use punctuation and capitalization.

- Constantly quoting memes and being the Funny Man™.

- ‘you smell like ten cans of bounce dat ass’

- All bark, no bite.

- Uses ‘😘’ and ‘😏’ emoji the most.

- Sends this image at least twice a day.

ɴᴀʀᴀɴᴄɪᴀ ɢʜɪʀɢᴀ

- Types with a lot of slang

- ‘Bro Just Me Or Does Mista Not Know How To Wipe His Mfing Ass’

- Capitalizes every word and often misspells things.

- Quotes memes, but not as much as Mista.

- ‘Foogie Pookie I’m Scared There’s A Wasp In The Citchin’

- Purposely tries to give Fugo a stroke.

- Uses the ‘🧡’ and ‘🍊’ emojis the most.

- Doesn’t send images, but sends gifs.

ᴘᴀɴɴᴀᴄᴏᴛᴛᴀ ꜰᴜɢᴏ

- Types rather properly, like he’s writing an email.

- ‘Narancia, I found this video to help with your math lesson. I’m proud you’ve gotten to 7th grade level! https://youtu.be/Xb951Vqs4Vc Please use it if you need help. - 🍓’

- Uses a passive-aggressive tone when he gets angry.

- Talks in the group chat the least, prefers to use dms.

- Signs his messages like an old lady.

- Takes a long time to type.

- ‘The meeting is at 4 pm today, correct?’

- Uses the ‘🍓’ emoji exclusively.

- Doesn’t send images/gifs, usually just sends math videos for Narancia.

ɢɪᴏʀɴᴏ ɢɪᴏᴠᴀɴɴᴀ

- Types properly, but not as much as Fugo.

- ‘Abbacchio, I’m sorry but I have some important things to discuss with Capo. :c’

- Always speaks in a polite or serious tone.

- Doesn’t use emojis, uses ‘:D’, ‘:c’ etc.

- Doesn’t send a lot of images, but might send cute group selfies.

- ‘Uh, I need back up, Narancia is bleeding out on the ground. Please hurry-’

- Will do anything to avoid calling.

╔══════════════╗

𝕷𝖆 𝕾𝖖𝖚𝖆𝖉𝖗𝖆

╚══════════════╝

ʀɪꜱᴏᴛᴛᴏ ɴᴇʀᴏ

- Doesn’t know how to spell, but still tries his best to be professional.

- ‘PLEASe attend the MEATING at 12, thank youo’

- Auto correct either helps him or hurts him.

- Sends cute images of animals occasionally.

- ‘How do you WORK a phone i need TO know PLEASe’

- Wants to use emojis, doesn’t know how. (Despite Melone showing him multiple times.)

- Bless his poor soul.

ᴘʀᴏꜱᴄɪᴜᴛᴛᴏ

- Types properly, but isn’t by any means professional.

- ‘Will you all please shut the fuck up? It’s three am and you are FLOODING the group chat.’

- Doesn’t take any bull from anyone.

- Has admin in all of the group chats.

- Uses the ‘🙃’ and ‘🖕’ emojis the most.

- ‘You’re all going to hell. 😊👐’

- Gets away with the most bs.

- Doesn’t use images/gifs/videos

ɢʜɪᴀᴄᴄɪᴏ

- Types angrily.

- ‘YOU’RE ALL STUPID FUCKS. PLEASE JUST SHUT UP. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT.’

- Gets annoyed over literally any grammar mistake, so he isn’t very active.

- When he’s around, he tends to gaslight most situations.

- Uses the ‘❄️’ and ‘💙’ emojis exclusively.

- Only ever sends photos to start arguments. (Ex. A picture of Formaggio eating shredding cheese from the fridge at 3 am.)

- Probably shouldn’t be allowed to have a phone.

ᴍᴇʟᴏɴᴇ

- Types.. well...

- ‘Ciaooo~ What’s up lgbt community? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧’

- He gets on everyone’s nerves, or helps them out tremendously. It’s a 50/50.

- Will spam any cute gif he sees until he finds a better one.

- Doesn’t use emojis, but instead uses those emoticons.

- He’s the one who makes all the group chats.

- Usually starts fights, but never finishes them.

- (Aka. he ghosts halfway through once someone else joins the argument.)

- Spams LOONA fancams in chat.

ꜰᴏʀᴍᴀɢɢɪᴏ

- Types like a Mista 2.0

- ‘just admit you like feet and move on 🙄‘

- CEO of gaslighting, will 100% make every situation worse then it already is.

- ‘wow so i’m here shitting my guts out and not a single one of yall will come get me tp? woooow. see yall in hell ✌️’

- Loves to make everyone mad, but his target is usually Prosciutto.

- He uses so many emojis that it’s impossible to keep track of them.

- Spams nasty f*tish art when he’s mad at someone in chat.

- The king of memes. Uses gifs, images, videos, you name it. They tell him to stop but he doesn’t.

ɪʟʟᴜꜱᴏ

- Types pretty casually.

- ‘Okay so im just curious as to which one of yall clogged the toilet with a FAT log, cause this shit nasty asf’

- Extremely passive aggressive and manipulative, never outright says when he’s mad.

- Only uses the ‘💅’ emoji.

- Gossips 24/7 with Gelato in dms, and has a gc called ‘We love Formaggio.’

- (Hint: All they do is talk shit about him in that gc.)

- Sends so many reaction images it’s not even funny.

ᴘᴇꜱᴄɪ

- Types like every teenage girl.

- ‘Hi guys!!! uwu’

- Everyone actually seems to ignore him for no reason.

- He has great ideas, but no one listens. Like, he could make communicating with each other x10 easier, but they just disregard him.

- Hates going into chat for the most part.

- ‘Guys- formaggio’s cat threw up on the carpet, what do I do?’

- Once was traumatized by a video Formaggio sent of a guy twerking butt-naked.

- Uses the ‘😊’ and ‘🙏’ emojis the most.

- Wants to use images/gifs/videos but yelled at the last time he sent one.

ꜱᴏʀʙᴇᴛ & ɢᴇʟᴀᴛᴏ

- Both type in a similar tone.

- ‘Who the fuck stole my casserole.’ - Sorbet

- ‘who stole my baby’s casserole 😶’ - Gelato

- Gelato doesn’t capitalize his sentences, ever. His nickname in chat is even lowercase.

- Sorbet only uses ‘.’ as punctuation.

- Gelato starts the most petty bull, Sorbet actually causes issues.

- Both are often kicked from the group chat for being overly affectionate.

- ‘so i just wanted to mention that im p sure i saw illuso spill cereal on the couch and not clean it up 😁 ’

- vs.

- ‘Illuso split cereal on the fucking couch and didn’t clean up after himself. Nasty fucker.’

- I’m sure you can tell who’s who.

- Sorbet doesn’t use emojis, but like Ghiaccio, he sends images that starts fights.

- Meanwhile Gelato finds it hard to go 30 seconds without using emojis/images.

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marigoldthoughts · 4 years

Text

Rent Free ch.9

peanut butter

You were laying atop your messy comforter, scrolling through tiktok and spamming Kiyoko's messages with each one that made you chuckle. Your for you page seemed to be full of It’s Okay Not to be Okay videos, a Korean Drama the two of have been obsessed with recently. The app freezes for a second, and suddenly Kuroo's face is covering your screen and the familiar marimba fills your ears. He must’ve gotten home already. You quickly push yourself off the bed and try to fix your hair as quickly as possible. Once you felt that you looked presentable you answered his call before the tune got the chance to end.

You took a seat and your vanity which doubled as a desk, “Helloooo” you spoke sweetly. “Hey babe, ready to learn from your senpai?” He sat at his kitchen table ,you could see his fridge from where he set up his phone. He must've been home alone or was way too confident. You scoff at his question, “Kuroo, I am NOT calling you senpai!” Jokingly rolling his eyes he continues “You're so difficult sometimes y/n. Alright then, you can call me sensei senpai!” God, every word that came out of him had to pass through that smug ass grin. “What if I just call someone else to help me?” You flash him your cutest smile and stretch your arm towards the phone pretending to hang up. “No no no, fine you don't have to call me senpai, but you could at least call me Tetsuro.” Tetsuro? That must be his first name, you've been meaning to ask him, but it must've slipped your mind “Tetsuro hmm…” You wander for a second while you continue to look at him through the screen. “Tetsu it is!” His shit eating grin widens at your words. “Alright then babe, let's pick up on chapter 12”

…

You and Tetsu have been “studying” for the past hour and a half, but you keep goofing around, is it because you enjoy talking to him or because you hate chemistry with every fiber of your being? Yes. “I like your smile, how come you never send me pictures of it, huh cutie?” you roll your eyes “Uh maybe if you asked I would send you one” You answer him smugly. “ Well I'm askin right now” The power he had over the butterflies in your stomach was ridiculous. “hmm... i'll think about it” You look back down at your textbook, pretending to continue your studies. “Come onnn y/n, what do i gotta do to see a picture of that smile” he rested his chin in his palm, disregarding his own work.“Tetsu if you want to see photos of my smile you could just follow my insta” You've been trying to search up his instagram, but his surname was more common than you thought. “What's your username then?” He had picked up his phone now. “yn.yln” you spoke, breaking contact with your textbook. “basic much” his screen was now paused, you can only assume that he's looking you up right now. “PLEASE, I'm basic? Then what's your username mr original?” you question him with an offended tone, “....thekurootetsuro” Tetsu spoke shyly. “HA, it takes one to know one huh, BABE” you tease him the same way he does you. “Yeah yeah, whatever miss I'm so pretty I make kuroo simp” he responded in a tone you can only assume was a poor attempt to mock your voice.“Oh? So you're simping?” He was back on facetime, you saw a faint rosy color invade his face. “No who said that? Must've been a spirit cause you're droolin’ all over me” Even when he was blushing he was still teasing you. “Please a dog wouldn't drool over you, even if you covered yourself in peanut butter!” You laughed out. “Oh? Is that your hypothesis? Cause we can test it right now, I think i've got enough peanut butter” Why was it so infuriatingly attractive how that smirk never left his face?

About two hours later you finally wrapped up your study sesh, that ended up being 50% chit-chat. You couldn't complain though, you were the one that would initiate off topic conversations.

(let’s pretend there pics of you smiling bc i don’t wanna steal art & i’m not an artist so)

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A/N: Hello!!! sorry for being so inactive!! As i mentioned in the last chapter, im going through a breakup right now and i took some time to myself. Unfortunately my posts wont be as often as they were before due to that and i just started college today!! ‘m super excited, i will try to post at least twice a week though!! but there is no set schedule! i hope you enjoyed this chapter even though i’m not the best at writing lol! Thank you to those that have kept up with the fic, it really does mean a lot to me (,: 💓💓💓

masterlist ⚘ previous ⚘ next

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send an ask/message to be added<3

taglist: @harajukukitsune @90s-belladonna @celestialclouds @yeehawslap @anejuuuuoy @booya–18 @krxstynnn @mx-minxx @himurayuumi6 @apremyst @akirudo @redflannel @strawb3rry-babe @haikyuufairy @vanilla-beanzz @dekumiya @coconut-dreamz @handsoffmyfriends @valory-funkzie @cece-lives-here @not-today-19 @minimalisticzee @samanthaa-leanne @janilovecookies @rachelexe @berriesii @sweetnoodleboi @denkiwenki @supahumbreon @starcasmx @nerdynstoned @drabblily @fandomtrashpandasposts @dabilove27 @daninaninani @darkangeldesignstudio @cactuski6 @disaster-rose @tetsuswhore @katariinasworld @simpletype @yqshirov @kristalhi @solemnmoongirl @uwu-kouhai @misluck @yeahhemmings- @sakusaswhore @aristatrois @charliefredb @baby-jichu @tendous-choco-ice-cream

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percyjacksonfan3 · 3 years

Text

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! - how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST - Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

#lau rereads pjo #the last olympian is my favourite book for a REASON #honestly every line is killer #so much subtext to read into #the dialogue #the relationships are dialed up to 11 #every character is so on point #the battle strategies too? are just so interesting?#I just adore it #Tay don't read any of this yet cause it's all spoilers #alright I'm gonna go write fic to express these feelings now #tlo #the last olympian #pjo #pjato #percy jackson

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tumbleweed-palmer · 3 years

Text

Unexpected: Jimmy Palmer x Original Character

I am having to repost all my fics because tumblr terminated my old blog. So here we go spamming up the Jimmy Palmer tag.

=======

Jimmy Palmer could admit he’d never found himself too annoyed by Tony Dinozzo. In fact, Jimmy was usually capable of dealing with Tony’s less than mature behavior without becoming too frustrated or too flustered.

Jimmy had long ago learned to take Tony’s immature comments and his habit of being far too nosy about his coworker’s personal lives with good stride. He’d learned to brush off the comments and the jokes. To be honest, Jimmy had always been somewhat fond of Tony’s tendency to give him a hard time.

It felt more like the actions of an older brother pestering a younger sibling, than anyone with any ill intentions. Jimmy had no older siblings, only a younger sister. So, really it just felt like Tony was a big brother of sorts, giving Jimmy a hard time and harassing him because he cared. Jimmy knew the moniker of “Autopsy Gremlin” or the sarcastic comments and jokes weren’t meant to be cruel. He knew that deep down Tony didn’t mean any disrespect.

Lately though it was becoming harder and harder for Jimmy to brush off Tony’s comments and his bad habit of attempting to shove his nose where it didn’t belong.

Today had been particularly brutal, all thanks to an unfortunately noticeable dark bruise along Jimmy’s neck. Anyone with any social awareness would easily be able to deduce exactly just how Jimmy had gotten these marks along his neck. Most people would spot a bruise along someone’s neck and would know it meant one thing and one thing only.

Most people though wouldn’t have the audacity to mention it. Tony Dinozzo wasn’t most people.

Tony had been quite loud about pointing out the large hickey along Jimmy’s neck and he’d done it at a crime scene of all the places to possibly bring it up.

Jimmy’s cheeks had flushed a deep shade of scarlet as Tony had spotted the hickey unable to resist himself. “Jeez Palmer, what happened to you? Did you use a vacuum cleaner or did you manage to actually find a lady gremlin to do that for you? That thing is huge. I don’t know if I should be disgusted or impressed. I’m dying to know just where she learned to do that, because I’m assuming you didn’t teach her.”

Jimmy had resisted the urge to drown himself in the lake Dr. Mallard and he’d been retrieving a body from as he’d squeaked out an “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Though by the way Jimmy had pulled the collar of his jumpsuit up in a poor attempt to hide the lovebite along his neck, it had been quite obvious to everyone that Jimmy knew exactly what Tony was talking about.

Thankfully Tony had dropped the subject fast becoming distracted by Gibbs’ less than pleased expression, but the entire situation had still been so mortifying.

This wasn’t the first time anyone had spotted a little lovebite along Jimmy’s neck over the course of the past year, and it wasn’t the first time Tony had something to say about it. It was still none the less absolutely horrifying for Jimmy.

Each time Tony mentioned a lovebite along Jimmy’s neck, Jimmy died a little inside.

As the day had worn on so had Tony’s prodding and needless to say Jimmy was more than ready to get far far away from NCIS headquarters and he hoped and prayed he’d have the entire weekend to suppress the memory of any of this ever happening.

Jimmy had worked far too late for a Friday night and he was more than ready to get out of the building as Tony approached him at the elevator looking all too much like a shark that had spotted a pool of blood.

“In a rush to get home Palmer?”

Jimmy cleared his throat trying to pretend that he wasn’t frantically pushing the up button on the elevator as though that would make his only form of escape arrive any quicker. “It’s Friday.”

“Got big plans for the weekend? I’ve always been curious, just what does an Autopsy Gremlin do on the weekend? I’m almost afraid to ask.” Tony commented, working his way up to the main punchline.

Jimmy shrugged his shoulders trying to play it cool. “Just a quiet weekend, nothing exciting.”

“Nothing exciting huh? I hope whoever gave you that little lovebite on your neck isn’t disappointed to hear that you don’t think they were exciting. I’m a little worried about just what you consider exciting if you didn’t find the process of getting that thing to be thrilling.” Tony pointed out while watching Jimmy squirm.

Jimmy groaned at this trying his best to play dumb in hopes this conversation would die. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh.” Tony responded not shying away from giving Jimmy a pat on the back before he spoke again.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of Palmer, It’s only a little gross when I think about it. I’m actually kind of impressed. You did the impossible, you got a girl to do that for you and it’s not even the first time it’s happened. You can’t blame me for being curious. The Autopsy Gremlin is getting some sweet sweet loving and I have to know just what she looks like, it is a she right? If not, I don’t judge. I would just be surprised to find you swing that way, especially after the whole Agent Lee thing. Are you having an office romance again? I’m guessing not, since I haven’t noticed you getting any attention from any of the ladies at NCIS, which means that Lady Gremlin doesn’t work here.”

Jimmy let out a sigh of relief as the elevator doors finally swung open, Jimmy escaping into the safe confines of the elevator so relieved that Tony didn’t follow him.

He spoke frantically pushing the close door button. “I gotta go, have a good weekend Tony.”

Jimmy closed his eyes, a heavy sigh of relief leaving him as he was finally left alone safe from Tony until next week.

A little voice in the back of his head was all too quick to speak Oh, if Tony only knew.

Jimmy had never meant for it to be like this. He’d never been the best at lying. Or, at least people told him he was a bad liar.

Maybe he wasn’t such a bad liar though, after all he’d been living a lie at work for a year now. He’d been lying to his coworkers for so long that his lies felt like truths at this point.

Jimmy’s personal life had become a well kept secret from the vast majority of his coworkers and Jimmy knew if the truth came out then Tony Dinozzo would kill him.

Jimmy had to believe though that the risk of death was well worth it. Olivia Dinozzo was so worth the risk of imminent death.

He hadn’t known exactly who she was when they’d first met on this elevator only a year before.

Olivia, or Liv as she preferred to be called had kind of stuck out like a sore thumb at NCIS headquarters.

They had met in the most unassuming of ways. The elevator had stopped at the first floor and Liv had stepped on wearing a visitors badge.

Jimmy had been hers in an instant and she hadn’t even known it. He’d glanced over at her and he couldn’t look away.

The thin straps of the deep purple dress she’d been wearing hadn’t done a thing to hide her figure, at least when it came to cleavage. The dress’ paisley print and loose flowing fabric had made her look more like she should be hanging out at a farmers market or making flower crowns in a field somewhere and not standing in a tiny elevator with a flustered Jimmy Palmer.

He’d been able to spot heavy looking turquoise earrings even through the thick strands of her long dark hair. The silver bangles on her wrist and the heavy gem ring on her finger had only made her look more like a freespirit and less like someone that should be visiting NCIS headquarters.

Her nails were kept trimmed and neat and painted with a dark blue polish. Her makeup was kept minimal with only a dusty pink lipstick on her lips. Her skin looked soft and milky and she smelled like a mixture of lavender and patchouli. A year later Jimmy would begin to associate the smell with her and the warmth he felt anytime she was close to him. From their very first meeting he'd been just as captivated by that scent though.

Jimmy didn’t think anyone could blame him for admiring her. She was a gorgeous woman and Jimmy was a young single man with a pulse. He was going to notice a pretty girl standing so close to him on an elevator.

She honestly did take his breath away. It was her eyes that had really done it, those big blue eyes that had made him melt and made her almost resemble a little doll. She was a petite thing really, the top of her head reaching his chest. He was pretty sure he’d easily be able to rest his chin on top of her head if she were to stand cradled against him. She seemed so delicate. There was something about her that had made Jimmy want to wrap himself around her and protect her.

She would later explain to him that she’d actually done ballet as a child and had been pretty gifted until she’d torn a tendon in her ankle that killed her ballet career. Her petite stature had caused people to push her towards ballet insisting her body was suited for it. To her credit she had managed to become a talented dancer although she didn't think being petite had aided into that. She did joke puberty and the development of curves had hindered her career long before she’d screwed up her ankle. He could remember her comment “I already had being on the short side working against me, then I got boobs and a butt and I decided I better start turning my attention to painting and photography instead of dance. I got the impression that my career was over long before I messed up my ankle. People were pretty fast to tell me that my body wasn't so suited for dance after I hit puberty hard. My ankle injury gave me an excuse to change my path.”

Jimmy had clung onto that story just as eagerly as he’d clung on to every other word she’d ever said to him over the past year.

Although back then standing in that elevator heading up to the fourth floor, Jimmy would have found it unimaginable to even believe for a second that he would ever have the opportunity to cling on to every word she said.

To say that he was attracted to her from the moment he’d laid eyes on her would be a vast understatement.

She of course had noticed he was staring and she hadn’t been shy to turn her head to face him raising a well manicured eyebrow questioning his obvious gawking.

Jimmy had managed to work the words from his throat, automatically thinking he felt like a moron at his choice in words. “Visiting?”

He’d almost wished he could toss himself down the elevator shaft at the realization of the words that had left him. A voice in the back of his head had been so quick to taunt him “Way to sound nosy and accusatory. You might as well have yelled: you don’t belong here. Nice going, she probably thinks you’re a classist asshole. She has a visitors badge clipped to her dress of course she’s visiting, not that it’s any of your business.’’

Much to his shock and disbelief she hadn’t taken his comment as him being rude. Instead she’d given him a sweet little smile that had made him all the more hers. “Yes, is it really that obvious? I’m actually making a surprise visit to my brother. He’s not expecting me until next week. I’m just hoping he’s not too busy. I know his schedule is a little odd. It’s just been a while since I last saw him. So I thought I’d surprise him at work.”

She’d paused raising an eyebrow at Jimmy’s usual work uniform of pale blue scrubs. She spoke up before Jimmy had a chance to ask about her brother. “Do you work here?”

Jimmy felt the words leave him ignoring the voice that told him he was babbling like an idiot and stumbling over his own words. “Yes, I uh...I w-work in Autopsy actually. I’m the assistant medical examiner….I’m still in school so I can’t really call myself a medical examiner until I pass my licensing exam. So, for now I-I’m just assisting our lead medical examiner Dr. Mallard. I’m usually down there in the basement. I just, I was coming upstairs to use the vending machines in the breakroom on the fourth floor. The vending machine in the basement always steals my dollars and I uh, I thought a soda sounded better than instant coffee.I had an early morning with a body pickup...so, uh, yeah...I-I work here.”

He bit the inside of his cheek to shut himself up knowing he was giving her far more information than she ever asked for. Why was he such an oversharer? He’d always been like this. He could get anxious and he’d find himself unable to stop talking. He never knew how to just sit quietly with his own thoughts.

He was stunned that she didn’t shut down the conversation at the mention of autopsy or a body pickup. Though her eyes did grow a little wide at the concept of just what he did for a living. Much to his shock she spoke the sweet smile not straying from her lips even though it had weakened just a bit as she took in his comments. “Oh, instant coffee is the worst.”

He parted his lips wanting to say something more, anything to keep her talking to him. He wanted to ask her about her brother or hell even ask her for her name.

All of his questions were answered as the elevator stopped at the fourth floor and both Jimmy and his companion stepped out into the passageway.

Jimmy watched stunned as the young woman he’d been so shamelessly admiring tackled the last person Jimmy had ever been expecting into a tight hug.

Ziva and McGee watched just as stunned as Jimmy as Tony lifted the girl from the ground, a foreign look of paternal adoration crossing Tony’s features. The girl giggled clearly accustomed to this type of treatment.

Tony spoke still holding her up ignoring his gawking coworkers. “I thought you weren’t coming until next week?”

She spoke as he finally placed her back on the ground, she straightening out her dress and her purse. “I found an earlier flight for much cheaper. I had demote down from first class but I didn’t mind. Pretzels and soda are just as good as pretzels and champagne even if the seats were a little smaller and I didn’t have as much leg room. My suitcases are downstairs in my rental car and the rest of my belongings are still due to arrive next week unless the movers really screw something up. I’ve already signed the lease on my apartment but I’ve got a hotel in the meantime.”

“You don’t have to stay in a hotel. I have a sofa.” Tony insisted a laugh leaving her as she rolled her eyes clearly resistant to this offer.

“The last time I slept on your futon I had sore hips for days. I think I prefer an actual bed and room service over a futon and cold pizza which I would have to pick all the meat off of in hopes I don’t get sick.” She remarked Tony letting out a scoff at the comment.

He cleared his throat finally noticing they had an audience. He spoke nodding down to her and to Ziva and McGee. “Probie, Ziva, this is my little sister Olivia Dinozzo.”

“Liv, please. Everyone calls me Liv.” She insisted giving a small wave.

“I did not realize you have a sister Tony.” Ziva admitted Mcgee fast to speak up, confirming. “Yeah, you’ve never mentioned it. I thought you were an only child.”

Liv spoke explaining everything. “I’m his half sister. Same dad, So, both progeny of Dinozzo Senior. My mother was his second wife, but not for more than two years. I was a bit of a surprise baby, Tony was already out of the house for most of my childhood. I’ve been living across the country for a few years now and before that I wasn’t even in the United States. I’m a freelance photographer and I’ve done a lot of photography for travel magazines and brochures so I’ve always been on the move. I’ve recently been hired for a teaching position at a community center though, so I’ve settled into the area.”

Tony finally took notice of Jimmy’s presence, taking notice that the young man was still gawking at events that had just taken place. “Autopsy Gremlin, who let you out of the basement? Shoo, get out of here. Don’t make me get a spray bottle after you again.”

Jimmy felt his cheeks flush, he hating that little nickname for the first time ever. Liv thankfully didn’t seem amused by the comment, rolling her eyes giving her brother a nudge as she spoke to Ziva, McGee, and Jimmy. “I am so sorry you all have to work with my brother.”

No one had a chance to respond as Tony spoke, shoving the files he’d been holding all too roughly into McGee’s arms. “Be nice, I'm buying your lunch. I’ll even find a place that serves tofu and lettuce.”

She let out a huff apparently well versed in this conversation. “Just because I’m a vegetarian doesn’t mean my entire diet only consists of tofu and lettuce.”

Jimmy watched hopelessly as Liv left following along behind Tony towards the elevators not giving Jimmy a second glance.

This was just his luck, he’d met a beautiful woman who hadn’t minded his awkward babbling, only to discover she was essentially untouchable.

He felt foolish for even having the thought. Who was to say she’d ever willingly allow him to touch her?

She was so far out of his league that it wasn’t even funny. Besides who was to say he’d ever see her again even if she had mentioned settling down into the area. The Virginia DC area wasn’t tiny, so chances are he’d never see her again.

Maybe Jimmy had just been single for too long now? Dating in combination with his odd career path and the time his schooling demanded wasn’t easy. He’d had more unsuccessful dates than he’d ever admit to, and his last relationship had been less of a relationship and more of a string of hooking up with one another in secret. It had been months since his last relationship had ended. He had been the one who’d ended that relationship admitting he’d wanted more from a romantic partner than the physical aspect of it. He’d had poor luck in actually finding a relationship though.

He’d begun to feel lonelier than he’d ever admit. He was starting to consider possibly giving online dating a try, but it seemed impossible with his erratic schedule and his less than conventional career path.

A small part of him was beginning to lose hope that he’d actually find anyone who would be willing to put up with him.

He told himself he was an idiot for feeling so disappointed that Liv was so unattainable. Pursuing her would never work. Jimmy had a distinct feeling that if he ever dared to even give Liv a flirty smile that Tony would bury him so deep into the ground that the devil himself would need a shovel to dig Jimmy back out again.

It was a lost hopeless cause.

It just wasn’t meant to be.

Much to Jimmy’s surprise though, fate had seemed to decide that it was in fact meant to be.

It had been two weeks since their meeting when fate had seemed to drag them back together.

Jimmy had been enjoying a rare leisurely day at the park enjoying a book and a sandwich he’d gotten from a nearby deli and taking in a nice spring day. He’d barely gotten more than a few bites of his lunch when a rather large dog had come out from nowhere snatching his BLT right from his hands and chomping it down.

He’d been stunned at this turn of events and that dumbstruck feeling had only intensified as a familiar voice sounded out. “Seriously? Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Jimmy had stared dumbfounded as Liv Dinozzo approached him her face flushed and her breathing heavy a sheen of sweat cross her skin. It was clear she’d been running after the dog for a long while now.

She spoke her voice frantic, barely even having the courage to look him in the eyes. This entire situation was beyond awkward. “I am so so so sorry. I was trying to adjust his leash and he worked his way free. He’s not even my dog. I was just walking him as a favor for my neighbor and if I’d known he’d do this I wouldn’t have offered. I’m just new in the area and I thought I’d win some points with my neighbor, since her arm is broken, by offering to walk her dog.”

She paused, finally meeting his gaze, a look of recognition crossing her features. “Wait...I know you. You, uh, you work with my brother right? I didn’t catch your name? We met on the elevator. Please don’t tell me I’m completely wrong about that. I think we’ve met before, right? I really don’t want to make this entire situation all more mortifying.”

He spoke trying not to cringe as the dog licked his hand soaking it clearly searching for another snack. “I, uh, yeah we met. Liv right? Tony didn’t introduce us properly. I’m James Palmer, but uh...everyone calls me Jimmy.”

He cringed even more, counting his blessings that she hadn’t brought up the name Tony had called him Autopsy Gremlin.

She spoke, clearing her throat shifting in place still feeling so horribly embarrassed. “I wish I could say we were meeting again under better circumstances. I can’t begin to express how sorry I am. Please let me make it up to you. I can buy you lunch. Anything you want to eat. Have lunch with me as a way to make up for this all.”

Jimmy felt his heart pound in his chest. She wanted to have lunch with him. Was this real life? He spoke nodding his head frantically. “Okay. I-uh, do you need help with the leash. I may be able to help. I worked as a veterinary tech during a summer in college.”

She handed over the leather leash Jimmy not helping but to appreciate just how silken her skin truly was as her fingertips brushed his.

He’d somehow lived up to his offer to get the leash on thanking his upper body strength as he helped her corral the dog to her car.

He’d tried not to gawk when they’d returned to dog to the brownstone she lived in. It was clear as day that her property was far nicer than Jimmy’s own. It made sense though he guessed, didn’t the Dinozzo’s come from old money? Tony might have been cut off from the family fortune but Liv clearly was not.

If she’d noticed his gawking she’d not mentioned it. To be honest, she’d seemed relieved that he hadn’t brought it up, nor had he mentioned it when she’d insisted on taking him a more expensive bistro than he’d usually eat at.

Much to his surprise and relief talking to Liv Dinozzo had actually felt easy the longer their lunch had lasted, even with his occasional tendency to be a little awkward. She hadn’t seemed to mind that he talked far too much and got far too enthusiastic. If anything she’d found his enthusiasm kind of sweet.

It had been so easy to talk to her that he’d taken a chance and asked to have lunch with her again or maybe dinner with him paying this time.

Much to his shock she’d said yes.

It had become a routine, spending time together. They’d spent months spending quite a bit of time together, going to lunches and dinners and museums and walks through the park.

It was a friendship really and Liv seemed oblivious of Jimmy’s more amorous feelings towards her. Or at least it seemed to Jimmy that she was blind to the fact that he clearly saw her as more than just a new friend.

Jimmy had been incapable of hiding it forever though.

It had started out so innocent. It had been a nice spring day and they’d taken a risk leaving the park and walking a few blocks to an ice cream parlor to cool down.

As they’d been leaving the ice cream parlor a spring storm had hit and they’d gotten caught in the downpour. They’d run the rain soaking them both until they’d found sanctuary under the awning of a building for lease.

Jimmy couldn’t help it. They’d been standing so close to one another the sound of rain hitting the cloth awning above them the scent of rain in the air. He’d looked down at her and she’d been staring up at him and before he’d known it his lips had been pressed to hers.

He’d barely had the mind to even comprehend as she eagerly returned the passion of his kiss, his insecurities far too loud to ignore.

He’d spoken frantically babbling so sure he’d ruined everything. “I am so sorry. I have really screwed this all up. I should have never done that. I did that without even asking you for your consent. I know you aren’t romantically interested in me at all. I understand that you don’t feel the same way about me as I feel about you, and I’m mature enough to accept rejection. I’m just begging you to please not let my lack of judgement ruin any chance of friendship. I swear that will never happ…”

He didn’t have a chance to keep rambling as Liv did the only thing she could think to do to stop him. She placed a hand over his mouth, the action gentle but firm. “Jimmy slow down for a moment and breathe.”

She pulled her hand back after he nodded his head signaling that he understood. The words that left her made his jaw drop. “Why do you think I’m not romantically interested in you?”

Was she being serious? Was this some kind of cruel joke? Was this an attempt to really make it clear she was rejecting him? Did she want him to give her the reason she wouldn’t be interested in him just to make sure he understood why and wouldn’t pull this ever again?

Surely she wasn’t that cruel. He didn’t think she was cruel at all. She didn’t seem cruel enough to force him to vocalize the cold harsh truth like this.

He spoke his shoulders sagging, his brows furrowed, the answer seeming so obvious. “You’re out of my league. How could you ever even have me on your radar? Why would you ever be interested in me?”

“Why wouldn’t I be interested?” She asked, causing his jaw to drop once again.

She spoke again, shaking her head at the sheer ridiculousness of this moment. How could such an intelligent man be so oblivious? “I have been flirting with you for over a month now. I must be really shitty at it if you didn’t figure it out.”

He spoke his brain going a mile a second trying to think over every second they’d spent together over the past month. “You were?”

She wanted to bury her head in her hands at the question. God, he really was clueless wasn’t he? “Yes, very bluntly. Honestly, I was flirting with you long before that. You didn’t seem to be getting the hint though, so over this past month I’ve really amped it up. You really didn’t think I needed to ask your opinions on anatomy for that art piece I was working on did you?”

She spoke again, spotting the look of confusion on his face. “You’ve been to my place Jimmy. You’ve seen my bookcases. I have more than enough books that I could turn to for reference if I had a question about getting the anatomy accurate on a painting.”

He felt his cheeks flush at the realization. He’d honestly missed all the signs. If anything he’d just read her jokes and smiles and friendliness. He’d thought she was asking for his help because she’d wanted to get back into painting and he had a deep understanding of anatomy. She’d insisted that he was the only one she trusted to guide her. She’d insisted he had the advantage of both having an analytical mind thanks to his medical knowledge and a creative mind thanks to his own passion for art. He’d been flattered by her insistence and had missed that the praise she’d given him had a flirty undertone to it. Sure, he’d noticed lingering touches and deep gazes but he’d assumed it was all in his head.

She spoke shaking her head slightly. It would be pathetic if he wasn’t so sweet. “Jimmy you asked how you could ever be on my radar, but how could you not be? I mean...did you miss the part where I kissed you back?”

He’d spoken surprised by an uncharacteristic surge of confidence sounding far smoother than he was sure he’d ever sounded. “I may have missed it. Could you refresh my memory?”

She’d leaned up her lips pressing to his he easily melting into the kiss returning it eagerly his arms encircling her waist pleased to find she fit against him just as perfectly as he’d imagined she would.

The smoothness faded from his voice, he sounding uncertain as he pulled his lips from hers. “What does this mean for us?”

She’d not minded his lack of confidence, her hand stroking his jawline, he leaning into her touch as she reassured him. “I didn’t work so hard flirting with you for months now for us not to make things official.”

And they had made things official.

There had only been one problem; Anthony Dinozzo Jr.

Liv had looked so guilty and so afraid when she’d brought it up only a month into Jimmy’s and her romantic relationship. “We don’t have to keep it from him forever, Jimmy. Trust me, this isn’t me being ashamed to be with you. I promise you it isn’t. I adore you so much. You’ve been so perfect and so sweet and I love being with you. Please don’t think I could ever be ashamed to tell anyone. Tony is just..Our childhood was a disaster. Dinozzo Sr. isn’t the warm fuzzy take you to watch baseball kind of dad. Trust me. Most of the kids I grew up with were shoved off on nannies the second we popped out of the womb.”

She paused shaking her head. “You know my mom died when I was four and even though she’d already left Dinozzo Sr. custody of me still went to him. Tony was in boarding school by then and Dinozzo Sr. wasn’t into actually raising me. So nannies took over all the parenting. It was just the normal thing to do in that environment. It just creates a cycle where parents find it easier to throw money at their kids instead of giving them any attention and the kids act out to get attention. Dinozzo Sr. really only gave me attention when he needed to make himself look good. And Tony was out of the house for good when I was a preteen, so I was left alone with that.”

She paused again clearing her throat. “I rebelled. I was hungry for any kind of attention even if it was negative. I had a pretty intense party girl phase starting in my teens and lasting into my early twenties. I wasn’t the only one...you know the stereotype, rich kids having the world and squandering and not appreciating the opportunities they’re given. I wanted my dad’s attention and he didn’t even notice. I think he didn’t write me out of the will and cut me off because he’d already done that song and dance with Tony. I guess it was too shameful to have two disowned kids instead of just one. He kept feeding my trust fund and pretended not to notice when I acted out.. So I sought out attention from other sources and found myself in some pretty awful situations. I mean..it was chaos and I was right there in the middle of it. I managed to stay clean at least when it came to anything harder than pot. I still partied too much though. My friend group didn’t shy away from the harder stuff and I didn’t have the sense to stay away from them. When things got scary, I couldn’t call my dad because he wouldn’t come rescue me. Tony was the only one who was ever there for me.”

“He was the only one you could trust.” Jimmy remarked Liv letting out a soft sigh nodding her head.

She spoke again. “I called Tony to bail me out of whatever mess I’d gotten myself into more than once. When I hit rock bottom he helped me sort my shit out. Even though it’s been a few years and I’m in a far better place emotionally, Tony still sees me as a scared little girl who finds herself in messes and needs rescuing. He is overprotective and anytime a guy shows me any interest he scares them off. I know you’re going to try to reassure me that he won’t scare you off...but that’s not my biggest worry.”

She paused taking a deep breath and deciding to just be blunt about it. “My brother has a gun and he knows exactly how to use it Jimmy.”

Jimmy felt himself pale at what she was insinuating. She spoke once again spelling it out even more her eyes beginning to water. “I don’t know how he would react, especially considering you technically work together. I think he just needs time to see that I’m really okay and that I’ve grown up and am no longer the girl I used to be. He needs to understand I don’t need him to protect me anymore. I don’t want us to keep our relationship a secret from him, but I don’t know what else we can do for now. I know it’s so unfair for me to ask that of you and I know it makes the worst girlfriend on the planet. I wish there was a better way, I jus…”

She didn’t have a chance to keep speaking as Jimmy spoke interrupting her his heart aching at the tears in her eyes. He couldn’t take her crying. He couldn’t stand the thought of it. She was far too beautiful to be filled with any sorrow. “I don’t like keeping it a secret either. You aren’t the worst girlfriend on the planet though, I promise. I’m okay with following your lead on this. We can do what you think is right for as long as you need. I like you too much to risk anything. Whatever makes you comfortable, I’m going to support you.”

They hadn’t intended it to be a year later and for them to be no closer to telling Tony the truth, but the timing had just never seemed right.

So they had persisted on like this, keeping Tony in the dark about everything.

There had only been one time where he’d almost discovered it all and that had been when Liv had called her number flashing along Jimmy’s cell’s screen in front of Tony. Jimmy had felt his stomach drop at Tony spoke. “Why is my sister calling you?”

Jimmy had spoken silencing his phone the lie falling from him. “I’m helping her with an art piece.She wanted some insight on anatomy and I offered to help…I uh, we ran into each other at a coffee shop a little while back and she remembered that you and I work together and asked for my help. So, I’ve just been giving her a second opinion on her work from a more analytical standpoint.”

He felt his heart drop Tony making it obvious he didn’t like this information. “I’d rather her ask Ducky for an anatomy lesson. Watch yourself Palmer.”

That had been a clear sign to Jimmy that they probably were doing the right thing keeping it a secret. He’d spotted a dangerous edge to Tony’s voice that day and Jimmy had easily remembered Tony’s gun.

As time went on though Jimmy knew it couldn’t stay a secret forever. Especially if they wanted any kind of future together.

Their relationship had grown serious. It was serious enough that Jimmy had introduced Liv to his family. He’d been able to at least announce that she was his girlfriend in that environment even if it was a secret at work.

Jimmy couldn’t help but to fear that they were getting a little too sloppy lately though, considering the evidence of their relationship had appeared on his neck more than once these past few months.

He tried his best to shake his worries from his mind as he arrived at her place; he was almost able to go on autopilot at this point when it came to the trip to her apartment after work.

Jimmy wasn’t surprised that she embraced him the second he walked through her door he barely having time to drop his bag and his spare key.

He buried his face against her taking in her familiar smell and the warmth of her body, the smell and touch feeling soothing after the day he’d had.

They stood there silently holding on to one another, soaking up the moment before she finally spoke, only pulling back from him far enough to speak clearly. “You smell like stinky hospital soap.”

He managed to chuckle at this pointing out the truth. “It’s preferable to what I smelled like before I used the hazmat shower at work.”

She spoke not shy about asking as she straightened out his tie the deep silver material having been a gift from her. It was a nice silk blend that he would never have gotten for himself. “That bad?”

“Awful.” He admitted his stomach turning at the memory.

She spoke nodding her head trying not to cringe at her own question or the information she risked receiving. “Worst than the body Dr. Mallard and you pulled from that sauna a few months ago?”

“So much worse. The sauna body may have been a pile of sludgy decomp, but this body today was pulled from a lake. So it was bloated and it smelled like severe decay and fish and algae all at once. The fish had gotten to some of the body so we’re working with a mess. I thought the smell would never leave my sinuses. Dr. Mallard took some sympathy on me and let me use the hazmat shower again.”

Liv nodded her head at this information trying not to visibly shudder at the imagery. She’d long ago figured out that when it came to her boyfriend’s odd career choice she had to have a tough stomach and strong will if she ever wanted him to feel comfortable venting about work to her or expressing excitement about something he’d found interesting at work.

She’d learned far more about decomposition and murder than she ever wanted to know, but she’d kept her disgust at bay telling herself being able to have Jimmy share the events of his day with her was well worth the disgusting details.

He’d been so hesitant to share the details with her at the beginning of their relationship, admitting to her that most people were uncomfortable with the details surrounding his job. She’d gently reassured him though that he should be allowed to share details about his day with her. If needed to vent about something he found frustrating or share something he found fascinating, she didn’t want him to have hesitations. She’d reassured him that if it ever became too much or too disturbing she’d stop him. She’d done her very best to resist stopping him from sharing with her though. She just wanted to be the best girlfriend possible. He needed someone to share his burdens with who wouldn’t judge him.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek her voice soft and reassuring. “Did it totally kill your appetite? Please tell me you didn’t skip dinner. You know your blood sugar plummets when you skip out on eating.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple not at all minding her scolding. “I ate. Dr. Mallard bought me dinner. Speaking of, he wants us to come to dinner Sunday. I told him I would need to check with you before I committed, just in case you had plans for us.”

“I don’t have any plans for us. I’d be happy to have dinner with him.” She reassured Jimmy trying her best to pretend she wasn’t still trying to shake the image of corpse eating fish from her brain.

Jimmy nodded his head relieved that she never seemed to be tempted to turn down Ducky’s dinner invites.

Dr. Mallard was the only person Jimmy worked with who knew about Liv and he. It had been an accident, telling Dr. Mallard.

Jimmy had been in the middle of assisting with an autopsy when Dr. Mallard had been rattling on about a case he’d worked where a man had been poisoned with cyanide being added to his palak paneer. The man had never seen it coming, his wife had poisoned him knowing he wouldn’t suspect her to poison his favorite meal.”

Jimmy had felt the words leave him before he could stop it. “I may need to tell Liv that Indian food night is cancelled for a little while.”

He’d felt his cheeks flush relieved that it had just been him and Dr. Mallard here to hear this information. He’d frantically explained it all, admitting the truth and confirming that Liv was Olivia Dinozzo and yes they were an item and please don’t tell Tony.

Much to Jimmy’s relief Dr. Mallard had agreed to keep his secret though he’d left him with a firm warning. Secrets couldn’t stay secrets forever and when the truth came out the fallout might not be so pleasant.

Jimmy had been relieved that Liv hadn’t been upset that he’d let their secret slip once he’d reassured her it was safe with Dr. Mallard.

Liv pressed her lips to his he easily melting into it as he always seemed to do. She giggled he so clearly chasing her lips for another kiss as she pulled away and spoke. “Can you hold off on calling him to confirm our invite until tomorrow. I have plans for you tonight.”

“Oh you do?” He asked as she pressed another kiss to his lips.

“So many plans.” She insisted her lips trailing down his neck a giggle leaving her as she spotted evidence of the last time they’d gotten a little caught up in one another.

She spoke an apologetic tone crossing her voice. “I’m sorry I made such a mess of your neck.”

He let out a soft sigh nodding his head. “Tony pointed it out, but I deflected it. He’ll probably drop it once something else attracts his attention. He’ll have the whole weekend to forget it.”

She nodded her head trying to pretend her stomach wasn’t turning at this knowledge that her brother might be catching on. He had no reason to suspect she was the one who’d left all those hickies on Jimmy’s neck. After all, Jimmy was careful enough to return them on her skin in places she could easily hide. Not to mention Tony had no idea that Jimmy and she spent any time together aside from the occasional “art project” Jimmy helped her with.

She knew it was getting more and more difficult to hide the truth. The more intertwined Jimmy’s and her life became the more they risked Tony finding out in the worst way possible.

There had been so many moments over the past year that Liv had wanted to tell Tony everything. She’d rehearsed it all in her head practicing the words again and again. She’d told herself that she just needed to have a heart-to-heart with her older brother and confess exactly how she felt about Jimmy and exactly how she felt in general. The timing was never right though. She never quite worked up the nerve to just bite the bullet and tell Tony everything.

She’d be lying if she tried to pretend that she didn’t feel like the worst girlfriend on the planet. After all, she’d met Jimmy’s entire family but she couldn’t find the balls to tell her own brother about Jimmy. Jimmy had been so proud to introduce her to his mother and his sister and grandmother. Why couldn’t she be proud to tell Tony that Jimmy was her boyfriend.

She knew the longer this went on the worst the outcome would be. The consequence of her choice would bite her in the ass eventually.

Deep down she knew the truth would need to come out sooner than later especially as Jimmy and she began to discuss their plans for the future and the fact that those plans very much involved one another.

She tried to push the worries from her mind as she spoke a soft sigh leaving her. “I’ll be more careful from now on. In my defense though, I just couldn’t help myself. You were being so cute and cuddly and we were having a lazy morning. I just got caught up in how sweet and handsome you are and how much I love you.”

“We were having a nice morning, I love you too.” Jimmy responded unable to stop the dreamy smile crossing his lips at the memory of exactly what they’d been doing when she’d left deep purple hickies along his neck.

To be fair he had left a share of his own lovebites along her body.

She ran her lips down his jaw running them lightly along his neck as she spoke. “So, I got a new camera.”

He felt his breath hitch finding it hard to concentrate when she was standing this close to him, her lips sliding along his skin. “Yeah?”

“Uh huh, It’s a pretty nice vintage Canon 35 mm camera from the late seventies I’ve had my eye on for a while. I finally found a refurbished one that is almost as good as new. I’m thinking I want to try doing a series of photos with it, maybe using some black and white film and doing it all old school. The only problem is I need to test it out first, make sure the film I got for it is good to go. I’m going to develop all the pictures myself and make sure it’s taking nice clear photos.” She explained pausing running her lips along the nape of his neck loosening his tie and unfastening hsi dress shirt just enough to reach his bare skin.

She spoke again already knowing she would have very little trouble convincing him. “So, do you want to help me test my camera out?”

He nodded his head eagerly unashamed of just how needy he sounded as the words left him. “I’m always happy to be your test model.”

She chuckled as she turned, taking his hands in hers leading him back towards her bedroom. “You were way too easy to convince. I didn’t even have to bribe you with an offer to take some nude photos for you.”

“Can we bring that offer back to the table?” he asked unashamedly, following her to her bedroom and whatever she had planned for him so eagerly.

“Sit still for a few photos and we’ll see.” She remarked already knowing he’d probably sit through however many photos she wanted even without a bribe.

He loved her far too much to say no, and she had no problem taking full advantage of it.

Needless to say, she had a feeling she might not be able to hold true to her promise to be a little more careful when it came to leaving lovebites along Jimmy’s neck.

……………………………………………………………….

A loud bang wasn’t the ideal way to wake up early on a Saturday morning. The banging persisted even as she attempted to bury her head underneath her pillow.

She let out a groan rolling her eyes as it hit her that Jimmy was still fast asleep apparently he was far too drained from the day before and the late night they’d had to allow something like some persistent knocks at her front door to wake him.

The only indication he gave that he was even aware of the situation was a drowsy half asleep comment muffled against his pillow “Tell the neighbor to be quiet, too early baby. Oli make em be quiet.”

She shook her head knowing it did no good to wake him and explain exactly what was happening. He worked so hard during the week. He deserved to have a restful sleep on the weekends. He needed his rest. She just had to go tell whoever was at her front door this early to get lost and then she could go back to sleep too.

She pulled herself from the bed finding one of Jimmy’s t-shirts and a pair of panties knowing the shirt was large enough to cover her lower half. To be safe she at least put a kimono on over the makeshift outfit knowing a little extra coverage would be wise.

She moved quickly, shutting the bedroom door behind her and making her way to the front door where the knocking continued.

She peered through the peephole, her stomach dropping. Well crap. She hoped Jimmy really was sleeping as deep as he’d seemed to be just a moment ago.

She just had to crack the door and get rid of Tony, and she could go back to bed with no one being the wiser about just who was sleeping nude in her bed.

She attempted to do just that, Tony not shy about speaking far too loudly for this time of the morning. “What the hell? I thought you’d never answer the door.”

“It’s Saturday morning.” She responded keeping the door cracked, hoping he’d get whatever he wanted out fast so she could get rid of him.

“I called but you didn’t answer. I need help. You remember Gina?” Tony insisted reaching forward pushing the door.

“Barely, what about her?” Liv asked, attempting to push back against the door trying to keep him out of her apartment and keep her cool pretending that his coworker wasn’t asleep in her bedroom.

Despite her attempts to keep the door shut Tony managed to work it open, letting himself in. “I thought I’d finally got rid of her but she found me when I went out last night and the only way I could escape was by telling her my sister had an emergency. We were at my place and she wasn’t leaving without a fight. I was desperate to get out of there. She might still be at my place. I just need somewhere to lie low until she gets bored and leaves.”

“That was last night, did you seriously sleep with her and now you’re trying to use me as an excuse to ditch her?” Liv asked deep down inside knowing that she already knew the answer to this question.

She might love Tony, but she couldn’t deny the fact that her older brother could be, well, a giant asshole at times. The man was the poster child for commitment issues.

“Well, when you put it that way it sounds bad., I can’t help it, Livy, she has this power over me. I cannot tell her no and then when I have a chance to regret it then it’s already too late.” Tony insisted not taking notice of Jimmy’s messenger bag on her floor.

He did notice something else of Jimmy’s though. “Wait a minute, you didn’t go to Georgetown.”

Liv felt her heart drop as she realized Tony was staring down at her t-shirt, the same t-shirt Jimmy had worn to bed last night and had ditched at some point when they’d decided to go for a round two where he’d left a very noticeable hickey long her left thigh as revenge for the new lovebite she’d given him along his collarbone.

She parted her lips trying to come up with a lie fast, but she didn’t have a chance as the actual owner of her t-shirt made his way into the room rubbing the sleep from his eyes not even noticing his girlfriend’s guest as he obstructed his own vision with his hand.

At least he’d managed to grab a pair of boxers from the floor instead of wandering into the room as nude as he’d been just a moment ago.

He spoke as he continued to rub the sleep from his eyes still oblivious to the situation at hand. “Baby it’s so early, why are you up? I thought I heard knocking but then…”

He felt the statement die on his lips as he lowered his hand, his stomach dropping as he realized the reality of their current predicament.

Tony moved quickly, starting to race towards Jimmy, his eyes narrowing. He spoke as Liv moved just as fast stepping between the men before things got too far. “What the hell Palmer? That’s my sister!”

Jimmy parted his lips, his voice sounding out though his throat was tightening panic bubbling in his gut. “Tony, I can explain everything.”

“Can you explain it? What the hell is there to explain? You’re sleeping with my sister? Oh god, she’s the one who’s been leaving all those hickies on your neck? You’re seriously hooking up with my little sister. You were in such a rush to leave work last night so you could come...have fun with my baby sister!.” Tony exclaimed disgust and rage crossing his features, he still attempting to reach forward more than likely debating throwing a punch Jimmy’s way.

“It’s not like that!” Jimmy exclaimed in response. It wasn’t just sex, he had to explain that this wasn’t just a case of him having some sort of friends with benefits situation with Liv.

“It sure as hell looks like that!” Tony remarked Liv pushing him forward trying her best to keep her enraged brother and her horrified boyfriend apart before someone got hurt.

She spoke trying to be the voice of reason. “We’re together Tony. We wanted to tell you…”

“Together? Are you serious?” Tony asked he moving forward again Liv pushing him away trying her best to keep the peace.

“Yes, together, we’ve been dating for a year now and we never meant for it to stay a secret this long. We just didn’t know how to tell you.” She explained, Jimmy fast to speak trying to support her and be another voice of reason. “I love her Tony. I promise you I’ve always had the best of intentions with Liv. She means the world to me.”

Tony spoke shaking his head disgust still written across his features he not hearing anything Jimmy had to say about any of this. “ My coworker Olivia? Him? Why didn’t you just twist the knife in more and sleep with Probie while you were at it.”

Liv let out a huff shaking her head trying not to sound offended by what he seemed to be insinuating. “I wasn’t just hooking up with Jimmy with no strings attached. This hasn’t just been sex. Believe it or not but I’m capable of having a loving stable relationship with someone who genuinely cares for me.”

Tony spoke so angry that he wasn’t going to shy away from going for a nerve he knew he could strike. “Well what else am I supposed to think Olivia? Considering your past, are you really surprised I don’t think the worst of your choice in men?”

“Don’t you dare. You have no right to hold any of that over my head!” Liv snapped her voice rising Jimmy shocked to hear a dangerous edge to her voice that was so unlike his girlfriend’s usual sweet gentle demeanor.

Tony scoffed at this comment. “Really? I don't have a right? You seem to forget that I’m always the one who has to clean up your messes.”

“That isn’t true! I’m not that person any more and you have no right to pretend I didn’t work hard to be a better person! I’ve worked so hard and you still treat me like I’m a disaster!” She cried out, her voice still so filled with rage.

Jimmy spoke, attempting to stop this before it got even uglier. “Tony, come on, this isn’t fair.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about Palmer. Just how much has she told you about herself?” Tony snapped clearly ready to strike for blood and hurt his sister in exchange for her betrayal.

“Shut up Tony.” Liv snarled quickly, losing her cool the more Tony spoke.

Tony didn’t hold back letting his anger get the best of him. “Do you know how many times I’ve rescued her from whatever shitty situation she decided to get herself into? I have spent so many nights driving out to nightclubs or one of her shitty friend’s penthouses to save her because things got a little too real for her to handle. Did she tell you about the boyfriend who got coked out of his brain and she had to lock herself in a bathroom and call me to come save her because she was afraid he might hurt her? Or maybe she told you about the time she had to leave some guy’s apartment at two am and she wound up wandering the streets until she found a phonebooth to call me to come get her on a bad side of town. Or maybe she told you about the time she got herself arrested for being intoxicated and fighting with some guy in a parking lot at a seedy nightclub, so our father had to throw money at a judge to get the charges dropped? But Senior wasn’t ever there to actually rescue her. It’s always been me. Our father just throws more money at her and she keeps getting into trouble and never learning. I’m the one who always has to be the responsible one and stop her from getting hurt.”

Tony paused, regretting the words the moment they left his lips. “Trust me Palmer, I know my sister. She’s always been like this. Too much to put up with and too hard to love. She’s so starved for affection that she jumps into bed with anyone who’ll have her. So forgive me for not believing she’s actually got her shit together for once.”

The harsh tone that Liv’s lips shocked both men her voice cracking as she spoke. “Get out of my apartment!”

Tony took a deep breath calming his anger realizing he’d really messed up. He’d tried to go for a jugular to hurt her and he’d succeeded. “Liv please…”

“Get the fuck out!” She snapped her voice sounding shrill an explosive anger leaving her so unlike her.

Tony parted his lips trying to find the words but Jimmy spoke deciding to do what needed to be done. He had promised Liv he’d support her in whatever she needed to do, and he meant it. “You need to leave Tony. Just go.”

Tony looked as though he wanted to protest but he let out a deep breath taking one final apologetic glance his sister’s way before he finally left the apartment.

Jimmy and Olivia stood in silence Jimmy fearing her silence meant the worst. The insecure little voice in the back of his brain told him she’d want to be alone now. She’d blame him for wrecking her relationship with her brother. She’d want him to go.

He spoke praying the voice wasn’t true. “Oli.”

She turned taking him by shock her arms wrapping around his torso she squeezing him so tight it almost hurt. She spoke her voice sounding weepy as she tried and failed not to cry. “Jimmy.”

He rocked her against him as she spoke her voice still so tearful. “Please don’t leave me.”

Jimmy was fast to speak stunned she’d been just as afraid of his abandonment as he’d been afraid of hers. “Never, I’m never going to leave you.”

He continued to rock her against him as she cried, his heart breaking. He still couldn’t stand to see her cry. “I’ve got you, it’s okay. It'll all be okay. I love you.”

He repeated the words like a mantra rocking her against him as her body finally grew weak she unable to force herself to cry more even if she wanted to. “I love you. I’ve changed. I promise I’m not that girl anymore.”

“I know you aren’t. I know you weren’t her when we met at all. You’re you Oli. You’re the beautiful woman who took my breath away that day in that NCIS elevator. You’re the sweet gentle girl who bought me lunch because your neighbor's dog stole mine. You’re the girl who I kissed in the rain and all I could think was that you tasted like strawberry ice cream and all my dreams coming true. You’re the girl who kisses every inch of me and takes too many photos of me. You’re the beautiful girl who won’t let me tell you that I’m so unattractive that I’ll break your camera. You tell me all the things you like about me and make me feel more secure than anyone ever has and ever will. I know who you are.”

She closed her eyes praying to whoever might be listening that he meant it all. He spoke again trying to make his point clear. “You aren’t hard to love. You’re so easy for me to love.”

The statement caused more tears to fall she somehow clinging to him all the tighter. He managed to speak once again doing all he could to find some small way to soothe her. “Come on lets go get a bath okay. Just let me hold you in the bath for a little while. We can use that chamomile bubble bath soap you like to use when you’re having a bad day. Let me take care of you Oli.”

She nodded her head wordlessly, her body feeling so tired. She felt so exhausted as she tried to wrap her brain around Tony’s statement. He’d thrown all her worst fears right in her face. It hurt, it hurt so much. He was the only family she’d trusted and he’d said she was hard to love.

Jimmy pressed a kiss to her temple, making a silent promise to himself that he would do whatever it took to reassure her of his love. He didn’t care what it took.

He swallowed the lump in his throat trying to push back the anger bubbling in his gut. He wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive Tony Dinozzo for what he’d said and he definitely didn’t think he could forgive him for making her cry.

Jimmy would do whatever it took to make sure she never had a reason to cry by his side ever again.

#Jimmy Palmer #Jimmy Palmer Fanfiction #Jimmy Palmer/oc #ncis #ncis fanfic #ncis fanfiction

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twc-thoughts-you-didnt-ask-for · 4 years

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Bundle - Felix -

Okay, this took forever because of writer’s block (I’m so sorry) but after spamming UB parent hcs I have it in me to get work done. I really, really wanted to give Felix’s child their eyes but because it would be human I don’t think they can inherit them :’(

I am pretty nervous about this one since this is my first big thing since (hopefully) getting over my writer’s block. So hopefully it’s not too too bad.

Here are links to the other parts: Adam / Mason /

Fic under the read more, would love to hear any feedback you may have~

This was unfair, unjust, and undeniably a cruel and unusual punishment.

Admittedly, Felix was not the most patient person in the world, he never pretended to be, but come on.

“Felix, chill out, I feel like your excitement is rubbing on me and not in the good wa-”

“Mason, please, there is a child being born as we speak can you please not be grotesque for just one day?” Nate said, cutting Mason off while looking like he was in pain.

“How could you not be excited? Or antsy? I barely had the strength to wait, like, nine months to meet the little guy. It wasn’t easy and now that the day is finally here... Well I don’t have it in me to contain myself much longer.”

At Felix’s verbalization of exactly what he was thinking, the impatience only got worse. They are now upgrading from fidgeting to pacing.

“Aaaaaand,” Felix continued,” we’re getting a new member of our family today! A little mini detective. Show some enthusiasm, you perpetual grump.”

“Have you considered that your child will be just like you and not the detective?” Adam asked from the place Felix deemed Adam’s “broody spot”.

“First of all, it’s not my child, it’s our child. Second of all... uh... not really. It’s a lot cuter to think of them as a little detective, don’t you think? All freckly, shy, and cute? Oh, and the natural ability to just get a rise out of our dear leader too. Can’t forget that. It has to be a recessive gene, I would think.”

Adam visibly tensed.

Smoke plumed from where Mason sat.

“You and the detective mixed together in the form of a child will no doubt be the thing of Adam’s worst nightmares before they even learn how to crawl.”

“No more smoking inside, Mason, that’s an order.” Adam interjected, clearly avoiding the topic of how much the little family would team up against him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Just like when we got the news that the detective was pregnant. I figured I would take advantage of this moment since she’s preoccupied and not here waddling around.”

Oh. Oh no. Felix forgot about how the waddling would cease once the child was out into the world and he would genuinely miss it.

There was something about the detective waddling around, heavy with his child, that was so captivating and endearing that Felix could have fallen in love with the detective all over again. Even without her being actively being there, the imagery of the memory was enough to make his heart so full that he could burst.

Nobody ever warned him about how deadly and cute the waddling would be. Like an arrow from cupid’s bow shot right through his heart.

Felix couldn’t count how many times he had looked at Unit Bravo and the detective and just marveled. Was a third party to everything around him like he weren’t involved so he could just... bask in it. Nate was constantly reading baby books and was always at the ready to help the oh so swollen detective ease into a comfortable sitting position. Adam was making direct orders to ensure that the baby’s health would not be at risk in or out of the womb and was personally baby-proofing their living spaces to make sure it happened. Even Mason was following the strict new rules to a “T”, even the smoking ones, and could be persuaded to rub the detective’s aching feet rather easily. Especially when Dinah asked sweetly. Mason would moan and groan about it the whole time, but he did it nonetheless.

Felix was there being the designated crier. He soaked up all the hormonal breaking points that the detective was supposed to have as the pregnant one.

Even now, Felix could feel his eyes watering when he thought about his amazing life. This life of people who chose him. A place where he belonged and was accepted no matter what. Where love and loyalty was so certain, nobody ever had to question if it were there. You just knew.

Felix felt so... blessed that he was able to give all of this to his child. This life that they were constantly building and adding on to. This type of life where you felt chosen- no questions asked.

Felix interrupted whatever conversation the rest of his unit was having with a sniffle and a “I’m just so happy I have all of you and for all of you to be here” leaking out from his inner monologue.

Mason scoffed, but it was one of his friendly ones that roughly translated to “duh”, Nate placed a reassuring hand on Felix’s shoulder that translated to “Where else would we be?”, and Adam had that stern look that translated to “We will always be together so why bother saying unnecessary things?”.

Anything Felix might have said was wiped out of his mind as soon as he heard the shrill sound of a cry.

Tears shoved to the wayside, Felix broke out into a massive grin and was about to make his way to the door if it weren’t for Nate’s hand still on Felix’s shoulder.

“We really ought to wait for Elidor. He wouldn’t be please if you rushed in and-”

“Elidor loves me. What’s the worst that could happen if I show up just a teensy bit early?”

“You won’t win this one, Nate, just let him go.” Mason said from round two of his detective-free smoking opportunity. “We’ll wait to be summoned like the good, rule-abiding agents we are.”

It was showtime.

Felix did what he did best, go fast. He rushed to the room where the detective and their newborn was.

...He did slow down as soon as he saw Elidor already standing outside the door, as if waiting for Felix, with his arms crossed and a disapproving look upon his face.

“I knew you wouldn’t listen.”

Oof... to be caught immediately was a hit to the pride. Felix resorted to puppy eyes to get out of a lecture.

“You know those never work on me. You’re lucky that I hold the detective in high esteem and that you just became a father. As congratulations, I will not berate you and let you go in and see the detective. The smell of her blood lingers... but I trust you.”

Felix almost hugged him, but definitely thought better of it before acting upon it.

Entering the room, Felix zeroed in on the detective holding the tiniest little bundle that he felt like could not have caused how large she had gotten. She was enraptured in what was in the blanket, cooing and making little kissy faces, that Felix took the moment to secretly snap a picture of the sight that left him breathless.

She was not allowed to know he had that or she would make him delete it.

Dinah was sweaty, red, exhausted, had dried streaks of tears trailing down her face, hair an absolute mess, beautiful, amazing, strong, and impossibly his.

He practically skipped to her side.

“Hello, love of my life.” he said cheerily, encouraged by her giggling, as he pressed a kiss to her damp cheek.

He looked into the bundle as he said: “Hello, love of my life #2.”

This baby was all Felix. Dark skin and a surprising amount of what was definitely Felix’s dark, coiled hair. Not a freckle to be seen and Felix had to hope that when the baby would open their eyes that the detective would be somewhere in there.

Luckily the detective couldn’t question if the baby was even hers.

“Well, isn’t he cute?” Dinah asked expectedly. “He looks just like his dad already.”

“Are you saying you think I’m cute?”

“Felix- I literally, and actively, made a child with you. I don’t think whether I think you’re attractive or not can be questioned.. Now please compliment the human I worked very hard on to make.”

“He is unbelievably cute, I’m a big fan of your work, but I was hoping for a freckle or two.”

“I’ll take a 4/5 star rating. I don’t think babies are usually born with freckles, so technically we’ll say you gave my work a perfect rating. And, who knows, maybe he’ll have a whole constellation across his face someday.”

Felix adored the sound of that. God, he loved just the idea of there being a “someday”. He just... he just....

Dinah reached to swipe under his eyes, confidently holding their baby in one arm.

“Oh... my poor love... you know it breaks my heart to see you cry like this. Even if they’re happy tears. And I do hope those are happy tears.”

He didn’t even realize he had been crying. What a mess he had become and the rest of their lives hadn’t even started. This was literally the first moments of day one.

“Of course they’re happy tears. God, what an amazing life we’re living. What an amazing world this is. What an amazing family I have. What an amazing love I’ve found...”

And Felix went on like that for as long as she allowed him to.

Felix was not a patient man, but when he looked at Dinah, their child, and he family he had found he wished that forever would slow down. That the days would never have an end.

That he could enjoy this life that chose him for longer than even forever allowed.

#the wayhaven chronicles #wayhaven chronicles #felix hauville #twc felix #twc fanfic #the wayhaven chronicles fanfic #twc

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residentlesbrarian · 3 years

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The Fourth Book I Read In the Dark: Of Expectations and Other Relatabilities

Of Gryphons and Other Monsters by Shannon McGee

Hey, guys, sooooo...this is aaaawwwkward. I wrote 95% of this review when I wrote the other Books I Read in the Dark series for the blog, but the ADHD hit me and COVID was still you know...a thing! So I am gonna post this review, finished of course, OH, but also pay extra close attention to the conclusion alright! Hmm...this is a bit like a time capsule...here are my concentrated thoughts from 6 months ago while I was slightly delirious on books and darkness. So go forth and uh yeah this one is...you can just feel the feral “I haven’t had access to proper internet so I’ve been curled in the corner like Gollum with my books” energy coming off it so...enjoy?

Okay, so yeah, I really didn’t have a reason to end my last review that way I just wanted to, so sue me for injecting a little excitement into a series of posts about me literally sitting in my house reading nonstop for 2 ½ days, my reviews my rules. Back to manufacturing my own excitement shall we!

It’s Day 2! I’ve just finished my last library book, whatever will I do! I could always reread The Neverending Story for the 1,273rd time, but I have a need. A need for GAY! I rack my brain, there has to be a solution. My town is without power, my local library won’t be open, but then it hits me. It’s so simple! It’s meant to be really! Like the universe knew this was coming and it made sure I was prepared! Like a prepper stockpiling mental SPAM for my stimulus needing ADHD riddled brain! I have an entire shelf of books that I haven’t read yet! Way back in Clexacon 2019 my best friend (Lookin at you @justalifelongphase) gave me way too much money from missed birthdays and Christmases all at once before the con started because the world has deemed it impossible for us to live geographically close to one another. Anyway, I went a little book-buying-crazy and have not had the time or opportunity to read any of them since then. Their time has finally come!

I figured after going full whimsy with The Lost Coast and sci-fi superhero with Dreadnought and Sovereign why not take a dip into more traditional fantasy, also this one was first in line on the shelf, yay for not having to actually make a decision! No more dawdling, let's get right into the review!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Taryn always loves and hates gryphon season. She finds the lesser gryphons more cute than anything but the ever present fear that a greater gryphon might be just out of sight is terrifying, and this gryphon season proves to be the one that will change her and her families lives forever! Just let a girl herd her sheep in peace!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

I genuinely enjoyed this book. It took me a bit longer to get through it than the others, but I think that was a combination of three things: A. I was starting to feel the fatigue of reading so much in such a short amount of time. B. Our local Wal Mart had power restored on Day 3 and our entire household went on a trip to buy non-perishable food stuffs and I was like a solitary confinement prisoner being let out into the yard for the first time in months when my phone picked up a wifi signal and it was a bit hard to get back into the swing of reading after talking to other humans, even virtually, that weren’t imaginary or in my head. C. Our power was finally restored on the afternoon of Day 3 so yet again I was inundated with the draw of technology and all of my friend-os I hadn’t talked to, but the book had drawn me in enough I did the most unmillienial thing and left my phone in a different room to charge while I finished this book before going back to the land of technology and interwebs. That should tell you something.

McGee was able to write this story in a way that pulls you in so you care about what happens to these characters and this little mountain town. You learn just enough about the world to understand where they fit within the overall weave of it, but you aren’t given a Tolkein-esc dissertation on the world lore. I felt the worries and the fears. I was concerned when the routines had to change. I mean she made me care about the freaking sheep! Sheep, people! One of the reasons I think this works so well is we are so firmly rooted in the head of our protagonist, Taryn. Imma use that lovely bridge I just built to skip right on over the plot section of the review to get to the characters first, don’t worry we’ll circle back round to the plot. I always do, but I just wanna talk about my newest set of brain babies.

Taryn is a character that, if the title of this post is anything to go by, I found very very relatable. Now I know relatability can be pretty subjective, some people can latch onto something with the all consuming, “It me!” While others just stare on dead eyed not understanding the appeal. I feel like Taryn could be that kind of protagonist. You are either going to really relate to her or you won’t understand where she is coming from at all. I obviously fall in the former category. I was the quintessential middle child, still am really, though my relationship with my parents has shifted now that I’m an adult. More mutual respect and friendship than parent to child. I always did my best to pick up the slack, if ever there was any, and just tried my best to be as little of a burden as possible to my parents. I see so much of that aspect of myself in Taryn and how she sees her place at the farm and even in the town, she has her place and her role, but those expectations are heavy. One of those expectations being that she will inevitably get married and help take over the farm from her parents and have kids to continue the line. The fact she finds the lesser gryphons that flock near the farm far cuter than any of the local boys that she will eventually have to choose from to fulfill that inevitable expectation is just...sad at best and down right tragic at worst. And her family doesn’t help matters either. They won’t let her forget that she will have to settle down with one of these local boys, a boy who would make a good husband and take good care of her and the farm. She knows that, logically, but she also wants to be in love, like her parents, and she just doesn’t feel like that for any of the boys in town. She doesn’t know how to make those two things line up. It’s a struggle between her head, the obligation of what she has to do, and her heart, what she really wants for her future, to be happy in doing what she has to do. Wow, I went off a little bit there, but this was my long winded way of saying I have never read a protagonist that really captured the utter confusion of being raised in a heteronormative environment without it being drenched in internalized homophobia and fear. Protagonists like this seem to always know something is off but just don’t have the words for it so they just hide it because they know it’s “different” and out of the norm, but Taryn is just livin’ her sheep herding life and ain’t got no time for these boy crazy fools. She knows her mom wants her to find a good boy to court her so she can marry someday but she’s still young. She’ll think about that tomorrow, and she just repeats that ad infinitum. The thought that maybe she doesn’t fancy any of the boys because well...girls...never even occurred to her. It's not how things are done in this small mountain town, not because of homophobia reasons, but just stubborn tradition reasons. We are even told there is a gay couple living in town who are staples in the overall dynamics in town, instrumental even, but the idea of having a lineage, being able to pass your land down is so ingrained no wonder poor Taryn was so in the dark about her own probable gayness till it slapped her in the face. As someone who was raised in a medium sized Oklahoma town...girl I feel you. I was 22 and in the middle of Appalacia, way up in the mountains for college when my gay awakening popped up and said “Hello!” Everything that never quite made sense in my life came into perfect clarity. Not quite what happened with Taryn, but the arrival of Aella surely helped, as pretty girls are want to do. Oh look a segue, good, cause I could talk about Taryn for literal hours and I’ve already gabbed about her too much for this review.

Aella, you smooth motherfucker. Like I wish I could possess a quarter of the smoothness that you do. Like I’m lucky to string sentences together around a pretty girl, but here you are just strutting about being the smoothest of smooth. Honestly, I just...I can’t with you Aella. On a serious note though Aella is a character that served as showing Taryn a glimpse at the world beyond her small mountain town, as much as she had no desire to leave, unlike her brother. Nope, sit down, we’ll get to you, Michael! Oh, we’ll get to you. She’s traveled and has stories from all over and she is fairly open about the fact that she only likes girls, but she doesn’t have land, responsibilities, and a family line to continue. She just gets to live her life the way she choses. And y’all know I am a sap for the hard dark characters that are totally softies underneath that rough exterior. I think Aella was a great foil to Taryn and great at showing her what she could have if she was willing to leave, to stretch what she was allowed to wish for, but of course the biggest issue with her wishing for anything was...Michael.

Michael was such an interesting character. I loved him. I hated him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to punch him. Again as with the town and the people of the town I was so deep seated in Taryn’s head and feelings that her conflicted feelings about Michael and how he was acting became my feelings on the matter. Not enough to not separate a tad and see what was coming or at least try to predict it as I always do when reading, but emotionally I was right with Taryn the whole way. The one thing that really pushed Michael from just a character I was conflicted about to one I really wanna give a swift kick in the nads to, is that he knew. He knew all about Taryn’s absolute lack of romantic inclinations toward any of the boys in town and her doubts that she would ever find someone to love and marry to take over the farm. He was the only person she confided these fears in and he still selfishly followed his own pursuits with little regard to her or her worries. You sir, are a terrible brother and overall a shit human, so sit your ass down and shut your mouth.

The plot for this book was so embroiled with the characters and their journeys that I can’t talk on it much but the twists at the end and the final climax was very satisfying for me and left me excited to dig into the next book. Also something of note that I didn’t talk about in the character section cause I felt it was dragging on a touch, I really only talked in depth on our three biggest players but there is a very colorful cast of side characters ranging from Taryn’s nervous pony to the boy-who-cried-gryphon neighbor no one can stand to the troupe of hunters led by Aella’s mother to Taryn’s best friend Nia, all of whom play important parts in building that sense of caring about the people of this town and the town itself, which in turn made me deeply care about the outcome of the plot at the heart of the story. And the sheep! The god damn sheep!

One thing I do want to say before my final thoughts is that whoever designed the cover of this book in a genius because as I dug into the story I found myself constantly closing it to spout off about theories of what I thought was happening on the cover and what it all meant, I was kind of reader fatigue delirious for most of those theories but some of them I was right! I might have reenacted the Captain Holt “Vindication” gif IRL just because it felt too good not to. I just love when a “cool” cover turns out to be so much more than that once you’re “in the know”. So yeah, now y’all know to pay attention for that.

My final thoughts on this book are pretty positive. I can tell the author is building us toward so much more, hence the name of the series, Taryn’s Journey, and it feels like it. This is only the beginning and I honestly can’t wait to take the next steps with her.

Queer Wrap-up:

Hey it’s me from the future...present...whatever...so, this is when I stopped writing the review six months ago and there is a reason for that. I, kind of, agonized over what to rate this book on the scale. Multiple times having to call my brother and go back and forth just to then repeat the same arguments with myself as soon as I got off the phone. Now why was this such a hard terrible no good awful back and forth well...SPOILER WARNING...seriously anything past this point will be spoiling some character beats for the majority of the book...okay? We understand one another. DANGER ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE...or you know scroll on.

So, Taryn is never confirmed to be queer in the text of this book. Now you would have to be wearing the tightest hetero goggles in known history not to see the heavy HEAVY subtext saying THIS BITCH GAY! It’s basically a full grown elephant painted sparkly rainbow trying to hide behind a dead shrub aka not hiding at all. I so desperately wanted to give this book four of those darling unicorns but in this rare case I just don’t think I can justify it. We have a protagonist that is still figuring herself out, which is amazing that we get to see that and go on the journey with her. Some of the things Taryn does and thinks are queer coded as hell, especially if it involves Aella who is explicitly gay on the page, but Taryn herself never express whether she herself is queer. Which, fair, other really important and traumatizing things were going on and I love that about her as a character, she didn’t meet Aella and suddenly that was all she could think about. Aella, of course, is representation who I’m counting because even though she shows obvious interest (you smooth motherfucker) in Taryn she is so much more than just a love interest and her character isn’t just boiled down to her sexuality. Now in this wrap up I’m also including the doctor and his husband in the town. They are very minor characters but they give us interesting insights into the town and the people. They are accepted and treated well in town even if some do almost, pity isn’t the right word, but they seem sad that they won’t be able to have any kind of legacy or lineage. As I said in the review it’s not homophobia it’s being stuck in your ways and it’s an interesting take.

Links:

Shannon McGee Website

The Storygraph

Okay so this one is a bit of a mess. Pieces of it were written 6 months apart and most of it was written while I was kind of delirious but hey at least I can say it’s honest. I still stand by everything my past self wrote and I still really enjoy thinking and talking about this book and am excited for whenever I get around to reading the sequel to continue on Tayrn’s journey with her. This is a book I probably would never have known even existed without ClexaCon and trolling through artist alley for literally every table that had books on them. I guess, moral of the day is maybe you won’t just find great books on library shelves but on unassuming convention tables too and it never hurts to look. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

Oh bet you thought this post was over. I did the sign off and everything but oh no no! I have some info and such to impart. I am WELL AWARE these reviews have been fairly inconsistent to down right sporadic. Well, this is just a little info dump letting you guys know I am gonna be putting up one more review after this one that I wrote ages ago and I mean AGES (think years, as in multiple) and just never got around to posting and then the old blog is probably gonna be going through a PLANNED dormancy while some pretty big stuff is coming down the pike. You may notice visual changes and other stuff before anything else is announced but just keep an eye out. To quote the Fates from Hercules, “It’s gonna be big!”

Okay now for the actual sign off, I got shit to do! No one look behind the curtain, it’s a surprise!

#Of Gryphons and Other Monsters #Shannon McGee #resident lesbrarian #3 unicorns #questioning girl #lesbian #heavy wlw romantic subtext #ya novel #ya fantasy #go to your local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe out there guys gals and nonbinary pals

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ninja-go-to-therapy · 3 years

Text

Febuwhump 3: Imprisonment

I’ve been bugging my friends about how excited I am to post this one for so long awlkjfasdlkjf

Summary: Louie makes friends with the richest kid in Duckburg: Doofus Drake. But he quickly realizes his new friend isn’t entirely sane. Especially when he kidnaps him. The problem? His family doesn’t know where he is. He hates Only Child Day.

Trigger Warnings: kidnapping, forced feeding, beating, torture, light dehumanization, I’ve been told Doofus deserves his own warning, mentions of trauma, possessive whumper, imprisonment, strangling

3423 words

Louie had been a captive of Doofus Drake for no more than half an hour, and he was still failing to come up with a plan.

He had to get out of here.

He just... he had to think. Sure, he wasn’t smart, like Huey, or daring to a borderline crazy degree, like Dewey, but he was... uh... he was definitely... shit.

He was nothing without his brothers.

He’d known this stupid only child thing was a bad idea, but Dewey had insisted. He, for all his siblings drove him crazy, actually liked being a triplet. Dewey, on the other hand… didn’t.

That kind of hurt.

But he didn’t have time for that, because what hurt worse than that was being stuck in some psycho’s house.

Some psycho who might hurt him if he didn’t get out fast.

Louie should have ran the second Doofus had pulled a box out of his pants.

That had been so incredibly weird, enough to have him somewhat frantically spamming the down button on the elevator, but then he’d held out the box to him with nothing more than an easygoing “friend present!” and, well… the gold had enticed him instantly. He hated that it had been so easy to catch his attention.

Louie would admit it: he could be shallow sometimes. He liked money. But honestly, after growing up practically dirt-poor, he sort of thought he deserved to.

He knew how miserable a lack of money could be.

“Oh… for me?” Louie had asked.

“I like to play with my friends,” was all he’d gotten in return.

He’d slipped the bracelet easily over his wrist, admiring it. He’d almost forgotten that there had been a time when it wasn’t so tight. So disgusting.

“Alright, friend. Let’s play!”

Things had gone smoothly, for the most part, after that.

He’d been weirded out when Doofus aggressively sniffed his hair… multiple times… but he’d gotten over it so fast when he distracted him with pretty things.

Well, in this case, it was more the breaking of pretty things, but the point remained.

Surprisingly, tearing apart priceless items was actually a really good stress reliever, and Louie had quickly forgotten all his troubles.

Until he went to slash at a portrait of an old woman and was promptly tackled to the floor.

And then, if he thought it couldn’t have gotten any more concerning, Doofus was throwing a full on fit, screaming and tearing shit up to an even greater degree than before.

Louie, so incredibly uncomfortable, had attempted to make small talk with Doofus’s “servants”, as he’d called them.

“My butler’s a ghost,” Louie had said, “yup, he’s dead.”

“We’re dead inside. We’re Doofus’s parents,” the maid had revealed.

That… that was not good.

“The money and power changed him. Go. Before it’s too late!” His mother had urged.

Louie had backed towards the door, deciding that having rich friends really wasn’t worth… whatever this was.

“What’s next friendy-friend?”

He’d stumbled slightly, but continued making his way to the door. It was just too much. It had been getting beyond weird and into straight-up freaky.

“Oh, well, you know, I just noticed it’s getting a little late. Uh, so I’m just gonna head home, and fondly remember all the good times we had. Cool? Cool, alright bye!”

He’d made to step out the door, heart pounding. He’d been so sure than in just a moment, this nightmare would be over.

But before he could even move, the bracelet had tightened until it dug into his wrist painfully, and then, if that hadn’t been bad enough, all at once it had gained this odd weight to it. He was on the floor in less than a second.

He’d gasped, tugging frantically, but the bracelet — cuff? — wouldn’t budge.

Drake had just smiled down at him innocently, but it had only made Louie feel sick to his stomach. “You are home, friend-present!”

He’d slammed the door before Louie could even begin to hope he could escape.

Only then was when he’d been starting to realize that this kid was fucking deranged. Like, absolutely out of his mind.

Why had Louie even wanted to be friends with him in the first place? He could have found other rich kids, ones who were just stuck-up and bitchy, instead of the absolute maniac who was standing above him!

“Let me out!” Louie had demanded. “This isn’t funny!”

“Of course not,” he’d agreed, “it’s quite serious.”

“You do realize who my family is, right? In fact, you should probably just let me go right now, so you don’t have to deal with them.”

Doofus had laughed. “You are funny, friend-present.”

Louie had scowled at the nickname, if you could even call it that. “Why are you doing this?”

“It’s rare that I meet a friend as lovely as you,” he hummed. “I couldn’t just let you slip through my fingers, now could I?”

That had been… creepy. He probably should have expected, at that point, that it would only get worse. But the only thing he’d known right then was that he needed to get out of here. This kid was seriously disturbed.

“My family will come looking for me! And they won’t be happy!” He’d insisted. But that was also when he’d realized that there was one massive roadblock to the plan of waiting it out for his family to come. It was that stupid Only Child Day. Which meant that his brothers were still off doing their own thing, and likely wouldn’t even realize Louie had disappeared until late that night. Worse, he hadn’t opted to actually tell anyone where he was going.

They had no idea he was here. They didn’t even know who Doofus Drake was.

And now, he was stuck on some creepy platform thing. There were three of them. One for Doofus’s mom, one for his dad, and one for him.

Louie tried to ignore the fact that the third one was a clear indication that Doofus had been waiting for something like this. Louie had walked right into his open arms.

“The sooner you give up, the better,” Doofus’s dad was saying, “hope only makes it worse.” The poor guy looked… kind of traumatized. What had that man been through?

Louie was terrified to find out.

“No! If the three of us work together, we might just be able to get out of here!” he insisted, hope blossoming as a vague plan began to form in his mind. “Are you with me?”

The other two shared a look, before nodding their agreement.

And not a moment too soon, because just then, the door opened, and in came Doofus Drake. As he approached Louie, he could only look at him, attempting a poker face. It probably wasn’t working very well.

“The new one’s a traitor!” Doofus’s dad shouted within an instant. “But I stopped him out of loyalty. Because I love you, Doofus.”

“You’re pathetic,” Doofus’s mom grumbled, glaring at him.

“No, he’s lying! I would never do that!” Louie cried, panic spiking through him. “I’m your friend!” he said with a forced smile. “...Present,” he tacked on, suppressing a disgusted shudder to the best of his ability. “Oh, gross…”

“I don’t think I like you anymore, new friend,” Doofus said, glaring at him. Before Louie could get his hopes up that maybe that meant that he was going to be let go, Doofus reached into a plastic bag he’d dragged in with him when he’d entered the room. “Maybe you need a lesson in friendship.”

“Wait,” Louie said as Doofus pulled out an umbrella, “What’s that for?”

Doofus didn’t answer him, reaching into the bag again and pulling out a smaller bag of walnuts. Louie had never thought such an action could be threatening, but oh boy… it sure was now.

“What is he gonna do with the umbrella and walnuts?” he asked desperately, frantically pushing himself as far back on his platform as the bracelet would allow.

Doofus approached him slowly and deliberately, eyes narrowed.

Louie couldn’t get any further away than he already was. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to prepare himself for whatever was about to come.

But then nothing came.

The silence was so loud. He could hear four sets of breathing, and that was it. Breathe in, two, three, him. Breathe out, two, three, him. Hesitantly, he peaked his eyes open.

Doofus stood directly in front of him, and, to Louie’s surprise, he’d set the umbrella to the side. It had seemed important just a moment ago, why had it been discarded already? Something wasn’t right about that.

“Here,” he said, holding out his hand. Louie glanced at it, confused. He was holding a handful of the walnuts.

He glanced at Doofus’s parents. “What exactly is going on right now?”

“Eyes on me!” Doofus yelled, his tone reminding Louie of earlier, when he’d been screaming about his dead grandma. Louie complied in an instant, terrified. Doofus took a breath, a calm smile slipping back onto his face. “That’s better.”

Louie just laughed nervously.

“Now,” he said, offering a handful of the walnuts in Louie’s direction again. “Eat them.”

“I — what?” Louie asked, another uncomfortable laugh spilling out. “You realize we can’t eat nuts, right?”

“Eat. Them.”

“I literally can’t, those things mess you up—”

“You’re going to eat them, Llewellyn,” Doofus said, threateningly. “I suggest you do it now.”

As far as being taught a lesson went, this seemed too… tame. Louie didn’t understand it. Doofus was totally unhinged, and while Louie absolutely did not want to eat something that his body couldn’t handle, it just felt like a punishment that was far too sane.

Louie had always prided himself on being able to read people pretty well, but right now, he was just confused.

Still, despite the lacking severity of the threat, he was still afraid. He’d be concerned for anyone who wasn’t afraid of some kid who’d kidnapped them, to be perfectly honest.

When Louie didn’t respond, Doofus glared at him. “Alright,” he said, dropping the nuts back into the bag and grabbing for the umbrella again. “If that’s how you want to be.”

“I don’t — I mean — we can talk this out, can’t we?” Louie said, panic gripping his heart even harder as he realized that he had no idea how to manipulate him. He couldn’t talk his way out of this one, could he?

The metal (and sharp) tip of the umbrella came up harshly against his chin, jerking his entire head up along with it and effectively cutting off whatever else Louie could have possibly tried to say. The point dug slightly into his neck in a painful manner, but that was the least of his problems, right now.

“You’re a real bratty child,” Doofus said, considering him for another moment. Too fast for Louie to keep up, the umbrella had been yanked away from him, and then slammed against his stomach.

He doubled over with a pained shout, wheezing as breath left his body.

The other end of the umbrella — the curved handle bit, this time — was practically shoved into his mouth, prying his beak open.

One of the walnuts was pushed into his mouth, and Louie immediately gagged. He couldn’t do anything to get away, so he could only do his best to swallow it, trying not to choke.

Doofus smiled that stupid little bastard smile.

That look was probably going to be burned into Louie’s nightmares when he got out of here.

Another of the stupid nuts was shoved into his mouth. He gagged again, he swallowed again. His mouth was already getting uncomfortably dry.

If ever he’d had the urge to eat a nut (he hadn’t, because he didn’t have a death wish), this experience alone would have been enough to get him to swear them off forever. He didn’t even like the flavor, not that he had much time to give thought to that.

Doofus didn’t stop until the bag was empty, and by that point, Louie was beginning to feel cramps churning in his stomach. He knew it would only get worse from here.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Doofus asked as he finally took back the umbrella. Louie just worked his jaw, trying to lessen the stiffness in it. He didn’t have it in him to reply.

His lack of response only seemed to make Doofus angry again, and before he knew it, the umbrella was bashed against him.

Louie yelped at the pain it brought, using his one free arm in an attempt to block the next blow. It didn’t do much.

“You will answer me when spoken to!” Doofus shrieked, practically stabbing him with the force of the next hit.

“I’m sorry!” Louie cried. “Please stop!”

Doofus did not, in fact, stop. He just kept hitting him mercilessly.

Louie had been given his fair share of injuries in the months he’d spent adventuring, but regardless, this hurt something awful. He supposed being assaulted with an umbrella would do that to a guy.

But no matter what he was saying, Doofus wouldn’t cease. He just kept attacking him.

At some point, Louie remembered that Doofus’s parents were there. “Help,” he begged, his voice cracking slightly.

“Doofus, stop,” his mom demanded. “This has gone far enough!”

“Are you questioning me?” Doofus shouted, finally stopping with the umbrella so he could storm over to his mother. “How dare you!”

He screamed, throwing down the umbrella so hard it could have broken. Louie flinched away from him, though the bracelet wouldn’t let him get far.

“That’s it. That’s it!” Doofus said, growling. He stomped towards the door, leaving without another word.

“Why would you do that?” Mr. Drake asked nervously, glancing towards the door.

“I’m not just going to sit by and watch him torture an innocent young boy!” Mrs. Drake snapped. “Are you alright, dear?”

“I’m… fine,” Louie said, smiling semi-convincingly. They weren’t the worst injuries he’d ever received. He’d be fine. Probably. Though it certainly hadn’t helped the nausea he was already feeling from the walnuts. He was worried he’d end up vomiting them up pretty soon…

Something in his pocket buzzed.

Something in his… he had his phone. He could call for help! He could get out of here!

Frantically, he pulled his phone from the pocket of his suit, fumbling with it slightly.

“What are you doing?” Mr. Drake cried.

“I’m calling for help!” Louie said, cursing to himself as the screen remained unresponsive for a moment. It had a few cracks on it from his beating. “Come on, you stupid piece of junk! Work with me!” he begged.

He didn’t have long until Doofus returned, that much was clear. He had to be fast.

The phone nearly fell from his grasp multiple times with how bad he was shaking, but he managed to hold onto it, pulling up his contacts app. Before he could dial anyone, he could hear approaching footsteps.

Louie stuffed the phone back in his pocket, doing his best to look unsuspicious.

“I’m back!” Doofus declared, already in a significantly better mood. He met Louie’s eyes, then frowned. He took a few steps closer, refusing to break eye contact.

Louie held his breath, doing his best to win the staring contest. He didn’t like the look he was being given.

In the corner of his eye, Louie could see Mr. Drake fidgeting anxiously. Oh god, if he ratted him out again, he didn’t know what Doofus would do.

“Servant!” Doofus snapped. “Is there anything I should know?”

Louie met the man’s eyes, pleading with him silently. Surely he wouldn’t do it. Surely he would see reason.

“The new one has a phone!” he cried. “He tried to contact someone.”

Doofus glared at Louie, storming forward and pulling the phone directly from his pocket. Louie cried out in panic, reaching for it against his better judgement.

“I was willing to forgive you for your earlier behavior,” Doofus said, “but this? This is unacceptable.” he pocketed Louie’s phone, then pulled out another golden bracelet.

“What’s that for?” Louie asked, eyeing it nervously. “I — uh — I already have one of those!”

Doofus laughed, standing face to face with his captive. “Not quite, my friend present.” Before Louie could do anything to stop him, he’d clasped the thing around his neck.

For a moment, he didn’t even process it. He just stared at his captor in confusion, then slowly felt the bracelet around his neck with his free hand.

“What?” he squeaked.

Doofus clicked something on the remote, and suddenly Louie — could move his arm? What the hell?

Before he could get any ideas about running away, however, Doofus grabbed him roughly and dragged him away from the front door and further back into the house. They took several twists and turns, Louie struggling the whole way, before eventually, he was pulled into a room just as fancy as the other rooms here. The main difference was that, in the very middle of the room, as if it was just another piece of furniture, was a large crystal cage.

“Wait, wait wait, you can’t just—”

His last ditch effort wasn’t worth anything, and he was thrown into the cage anyway.

Immediately, he was prying at the bars, but they wouldn’t give. There was enough spacing that he could get his arm through, but he was nowhere near being able to squeeze between them. On the “bright” side, the cage itself wasn’t really cramped, per se. He could sit up fully, though he wouldn’t be able to stand. The floor of it was big enough that he could sprawl out, at least.

“You’ll be staying in here until you learn to respect me,” he said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some servants to tend to.”

He turned on his heel, leaving Louie all alone in the cage.

He put all of his strength into fighting against the bars, but for the life of him, they wouldn’t fucking budge. Shit.

When that didn’t work, he began to claw at his neck desperately in a poor attempt to get the newer band off. It was bad enough when it was just a bracelet, but now, with another piece of jewelry (this one seemingly functioning a little too much like a dog collar), it was only getting worse. And if the bracelet could prevent him from getting anywhere, who knew what this did?

He wasn’t making any progress.

“I hate only child day,” he declared to himself, trying to distract himself from his impending doom. “I’m never letting them do this again.” Assuming he had the chance to be angry with his brothers, that is.

No, no, he had to think positively. He was related to Scrooge McDuck! Not to mention his Uncle Donald. They wouldn’t let him rot here.

He hoped.

Some time later, Doofus returned.

Louie decided to try his luck one last time. “Please,” he said, “let me go. I just want to go home!”

“Oh, Llewellyn,” Doofus laughed, grabbing him by the tie and jerking him forward, his body slamming against the bars of the cage. He grinned darkly, taking another handful of the fabric in his fist until Louie couldn’t breathe.

He barely managed to get out a few choked sounds, unable to say anything coherent.

“You need to learn your place,” he said, in the type of condescending way you’d speak to a pet that tried to bite you.

Louie decided he didn’t like that analogy. “Please,” he choked, his voice so raspy it could barely be understood.

“I do like when you beg me, friend-present.”

If there had been any oxygen actually going to his brain, Louie would have been disgusted. But he couldn’t breathe, and his vision was going fuzzy, and he didn’t have the energy to think about how psychotic this kid was.

He needed to breathe.

With the hand that didn’t have a hellish bracelet stuck around it, he weakly reached up, trying to push Doofus away. It only served to choke him further.

“I don’t quite think you understand,” Doofus said, jerking him forward again, the little bit of slack he’d managed to acquire now only working against him. “I own you. I wanted you the moment I saw you, and as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now — I always get what I want.”

And with those words, Louie had a horrible feeling that his fate was sealed.

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