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catwingsathena · 2 years

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My sister puts glasses away upside down.

Because our mother does,

Because her mother did,

Because her mother lived through the Dust Bowl.

One day my father sat me down and told me about epigenetics.

How the trauma he went through

As a child in an abusive home

Wrote itself into his DNA

And, in turn, into mine.

How he and his brothers,

In various ways,

Are all sick from it.

How I might be too, someday,

And I’m not sure I’m not.

I hear people say,

When will we get back to normal?

And I think of a woman born in the twenty-first century

Who puts her glasses away differently

Because of what her great-grandmother endured

Ninety years before.

#poetry #current events #covid 19 #abuse mention #trauma mention #family #catwings chatter #i suppose #personal

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dead-pidoves-dirt-takes · 2 months

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I’m literally begging y’all not to disclose your trauma in order to justify and validate your tastes in fiction.

The people who are or you fear are going to get on your case about your fantasies, taste in fiction or how you identify? Do not give a shit about you. Or the trauma you have faced. They don’t give a shit about other trauma survivors either, and they don’t care about how callous and shitty they seem. All they care is about controlling and policing people they think they might have a sliver of power over.

You can block or clown or do whatever you want. (I recommend blocking, don’t feed the trolls) But please for the love of god do not tell random strangers on the internet who have absolutely no business knowing you’re traumatized and have X Y and Z mental illnesses from it.

Don’t reveal yourself as vulnerable, don’t paint that target on your back, and don’t give people access to possible triggers that may hurt you.

#discourse #proship #ship discourse #trauma #trauma mention #listen I hate that the conversation gets centred around trauma anyways #it’s all about actions and if they have real and tangible consequences on people #mod birdy 🪶

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brain-rot-central · 28 days

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Would you be interested to do fanfic with Astarion getting a massage and maybe kisses ober his scars?

Scars

Tav gives Astarion a back massage. Thing is, Astarion isn't entirely used to giving up his back.

I sat on this for a long bit. Thank you for the prompt! 💗

Warnings: trauma mention, abuse mention, brief depiction of abuse

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea, love."

Astarion lay prone on his bedroll, his head tilted to the side. He's not looking at Tav necessarily, just in their general direction as sparks of anticipation jolt through his body. He eyes the bottle of oil within Tav's hands as they uncork the stopper.

"You don't always have to be the one giving, Astarion," Tav says as they pour the viscous fluid out into the palm of one hand. They place the bottle down onto the ground, reapplying the cork. "Sometimes it's nice just to take."

"Yes, but-"

"Do you want me to leave?" Tav interrupts, rubbing their palms together to warm the oil.

Astarion finally looks at Tav, furrowing his brow in doubt. "N-no, I don't. Just..." his voice trails off, gaze wandering to the flap of his tent. It ripples gently with the passing breeze. "Go easy over my back, please," he pleads. "It's... sensitive."

In more ways than one.

Tav nods, shifting closer to Astarion's form. "Of course," they agree, leaning over to plant a kiss on the back of his neck. Astarion shivers under them as their hands find the small of his back. "You let me know if it's too much, 'kay?"

With a sigh, Astarion nods, resting his face against the comforting fabric of his shirt. Tav starts slow, rubbing delicate circles into the dimples of his lower back with their thumbs. Their fingers hang over his hips, which, Astarion admits silently to himself, is oddly comforting. He imagines Tav holding him, guiding his hips to where they want him to be. Much more intimate than Astarion could have ever imagined. Pleasurable, even.

He's so used to being grabbed, pushed, and forced into positions. Hurried encounters with those who cared not for his pleasure, that it came secondary or not at all. Astarion keeps waiting for the moment where Tav hoists him up and slots him roughly against their crotch, waiting for the inevitable painful sting of being pried open without warning.

But it never comes.

Astarion can feel their crotch against the cleft of his arse, Tav straddling his hips for their own leverage, yet this position is unusually sensual. Tav's hands begin traveling up the sides of his torso and they lean further into him, pushing Astarion's hips further into the ground below him. The pressure of his center meeting the bedroll causes his arousal to stir, twitching softly to life as he haphazardly grinds his hips further into the deerskin below, chasing the sensation again and again.

Soft moans escape Astarion's lips as Tav kisses the midline of his back, applying light pressure to the muscles encircling his ribs as their hands glide over the delicate pale skin. "Is it okay if I touch them?" Tav asks quietly against his back.

His scars, they mean. They want to massage his scars.

Astarion's eyes focus again on the opening of his tent, flap blowing in the wind as another breeze blows past. When he closes his eyes, he imagines himself back in the kennels, lying on the cold stone floor beneath him in a similar position. Cazador is behind him, needle in hand, bringing the blade down hard into the vulnerable skin of his back. Astarion screams, or at least he remembers the feeling of screaming, as he relives the searing pain of his flesh being carved out. He claws at the stone floor as Cazador continues, voice failing him as the blade dances across his skin. Cazador chuckles darkly, telling Astarion revisions are to be made.

Astarion.

His head swims with nervous energy, though a small voice breaks through his concentration.

Astarion!

His eyes snap open, returning focus to his tent. Astarion becomes mildly aware of the hand over his mouth and he tries to control his labored breathing.

"Are you alright? You started screaming out of no where." Tav releases their hand from around his mouth and sits back. "Sorry, but I had to do something, lest the entire camp come running..." Tav sits back on his feet for a bit, silence passing over them both. "Did you want to stop?" they suggest. "It's okay if-"

"No, I'm fine," clarifies Astarion. "Sorry, dear. My mind was elsewhere for a moment."

"...Cazador?" Tav asks, quietly.

Astarion doesn't respond immediately. Moments pass before he slowly nods his head. He hears Tav sigh over his shoulder as they resume their place over the backs of his thighs.

"I have no sharp objects, aside from a nail or two," they say in reassurance. "All I'm trying to do is help you feel more at ease. I promise."

"I don't doubt that," Astarion admits. "This is just... different, for me." He gasps as he feels Tav's hands on his lower back again. "I... usually don't give people my back."

Their hands travel higher, and Tav feels the minute shakes of anticipation rumbling through Astarion's frame. Astarion sucks in a sharp breath and they move between his shoulder blades, tracing each indentation of the scars with their fingertips. They use the palms of their hands to place pressure on the muscles deep below, a soft moan of relief escaping Astarion as he eases into the touch.

"...I only want to make you feel good, Astarion," Tav coos above him, dragging their hands back up the length of his spine. They rub along the outlines of each scapula, digging their thumbs into hard knots of muscles. Tav circles them gently, huffing out a quick laugh as they feel the tension beginning to melt away from Astarion's frame.

His head is swimming in euphoric pleasure. His arousal has stirred back to life, but not due to lust. No, this is simply because his entire body feels good, so so good. Astarion feels himself loosening under Tav's ministrations. It dawns on him that he never gave thought to how tensely he held himself together. Another soft moan escapes his lips as Tav leans over again to kiss the back of his neck. The position pushes his half-hard cock further into the bedroll, his entire body instinctively curling upward, into Tav. He leans his head toward one side, granting them better access to his neck.

"Does it feel good?" they ask, littering chaste kissing along the side of Astarion's neck.

Astarion moans as Tav's hands run up and down the sides of his ribs again. "Y-yes," he gasps. "P-please continue."

The massage turns intimate again; Tav kissing down Astarion's back as their hands settle along his narrow hips. Astarion knows there won't be physical intimacy; he's not quite ready for that yet, but by the gods if this isn't close.

Tav works at his back for what feels like a tenday before finally sliding off. "How was that?" they ask, lightly brushing the backs of their fingers over his skin.

Astarion turns over, arousal flagging enough to not raise any uncomfortable suspicion. Though, could he blush, his face would be absolutely flushed. His eyes are heavy, his mouth hangs open. "Wonderful," he admits. "I would very much like to do that again."

Tav leans over and smiles, capturing Astarion's lips between his own. "Then again we shall."

#astarion #my writing #writing prompts #fanfiction #astarion fluff #trauma mention #abuse mention #abuse tw #answered #bg3 astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x gn tav #astarion x reader #astarion x gn reader

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thelunastusco · 5 months

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Saying this as a trauma-formed system:

We're sincerely glad if your system didn't form from trauma. We're sincerely glad if your system doesn't have trauma at all. It's so, so hard to make it through life without SOME sort of trauma, but if you and yours have somehow managed, we're happy for you.

No one should have to suffer. No one should have to go through terrible things. People who wish harm on you for not suffering enough for their tastes can fuck right on off.

Just because I/we were hurt, doesn't mean you should be.

#syscourse #trauma mention #endo safe #sysmeds fuck off

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multiplicity-positivity · 1 month

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Here’s some positivity for systems whose alterhumanity caused or is intrinsically connected to their plurality!

Many systems may find that their members don’t identify as human, or they even collectively identify as nonhuman or alterhuman. There’s nothing wrong with being a system whose plurality formed due to or is heavily influenced by alterhumanity! This post is for the systems whose alterhumanity caused them to become plural!

🐅 Shoutout to systems whose members started out as one headmate’s different kintypes or theriotypes!

🦎 Shoutout to those who are unsure if they are plural or just have multiple alterhuman identities!

🦌 Shoutout to systems who identify collectively as alterhuman or nonhuman!

🦈 Shoutout to systems without specific animal or nonhuman identities, who are simply alterhuman without more focused labels!

🐈 Shoutout to systems whose plurality and alterhumanity both developed due to trauma!

🦜 Shoutout to systems with many uncommon or unique alterhuman identities!

🐏 Shoutout to systems with members are alterhuman without being otherkin or therian!

🦑 Shoutout to systems who have always known they’re alterhuman or nonhuman in some way, and to those who have discovered their alterhumanity fairly recently!

🐇 Shoutout to systems who wouldn’t be alterhuman without their plurality, or who wouldn’t be plural without their alterhumanity!

🐉 Shoutout to systems who love being both plural and alterhuman!

Both alterhuman and plural experiences can be deeply personal, intricate, diverse, and complex. For those of us whose alterhumanity and plurality are intrinsically connected, it may be difficult to tell which came first, or how to approach our senses of self and identity with each! However, we hope every alterhuman system out there can find joy and comfort in embracing their plural and nonhuman selves just the way they are!

Please do your best to show yourself and your headmates some kindness today. We hope you can find small and fulfilling ways to express yourself and find a home in your alterhumanity! Rest assured that, regardless of how your plurality or alterhumanity came to be, you are valid and cherished both as nonhuman and as a system. We consider ourselves lucky to be able to share these spaces with you!

#multiplicity #plurality #pluralgang #actuallyplural #system positivity #plural positivity #plural pride #system pride #alterhuman #nonhuman #alterhumanity #otherkin #trauma mention

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probablyhuntersmom · 1 year

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Belos trying the same tactic with both of the poor kids. But what a contrast between the towering monstrous form versus the puddle he was reduced to in the end.

He hurt Luz and Hunter enough. More than enough. He snatched literal life away from them. I'm relieved that both of them had proximity away from him at the time of his death:

with Hunter being safely far away, and Luz making a conscious decision to walk away from him, so that they didn't have to witness his demise. On top of what they both already had to heal from, witnessing him dying would've been...visceral on another level for their senses, and for the memories they'd be carrying for years afterward.

I wouldn't ever want these to be the last sights (and sounds!) of Belos that Luz and Hunter are exposed to:

Especially because they had a history of trusting in him first, before experiencing betrayal from him. This scene was freaky enough for an adult audience member like me to watch...I can't imagine being a child, who previously trusted in Belos, placed in this situation.

It was different for Eda, King and even Raine (who has been staging and leading the CATTs rebellion over a long period), who were the ones to finish him off, because they didn't have prior experiences of deeply trusting in Belos first.

Coming in from a clinical perspective as well, if you work as a therapist you have to note down and weigh two areas for every client case: risk factors vs. protective factors that can either worsen or improve whatever mental health conditions they're experiencing. Doing this gives a clearer picture and creates higher awareness of a client's situation and struggles.

I'm zooming in on just risk factors for PTSD symptoms (list is from the National Institute of Mental Health's page about PTSD):

I underlined the blue to show which risk factors that Luz and Hunter would already be up against without witnessing Belos's death: that's already 7 out of 8!! (keep in mind they saw stuff like the grimwalker graveyard in Belos's mindscape) And these poor babies already met enough criteria for diagnoses of depression and C-PTSD respectively. If they witnessed him dying, it would've been a "big T" trauma event that could do more great damage and complicate the recovery process.

The red underlines are if they witnessed Belos's death, adding more layers of wounding when it comes to the relevant risk factors. And what would intensify things is like I mentioned, their history with Belos in particular is downright messy since they experienced betrayal from him in such awful ways. You can't be betrayed by someone if you didn't first place trust in them. In Hunter's case, he had (and realistically, would still have) love and attachment to Belos.

It's heavy enough that both of them were mourning father figures that left them behind at the start of those 3.5-4 difficult years, and would experience depressive symptoms related to those losses:

Hunter mourning Belos himself and his life in the Emperor's Coven which brought meaning to his life, while Luz mourned Manny and her use of the glyphs that helped her find her place when there was nothing else that worked.

They would need Camila, Darius and Eda as their solid rock to fall back on for unwavering support, along with the love from everybody else.

If I rewind things a little, I'm also relieved that Hunter wasn't ambushed by Belos in For the Future, and that Luz didn't give into temptation to "blast him away" in Watching and Dreaming:

Their anger and frustration was most definitely valid, but I'm pretty sure that any decisions to follow through with their desire to strike back at Belos...would've added salt to their moral injuries and bred more painful confusion in the years that they'd have to spend recovering from all that they went through.

Keeping them away from being the ones to finish Belos off was an informed writing decision.

#luz noceda #toh hunter #toh belos #the owl house #toh analysis #belos's death #luz and hunter are siblings #loz writes a meta #trauma mention

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transjudas · 1 year

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Leathermouth - Sunsets are for Muggings / The Hirs Collective Ft. Frank Iero and Rosie Richeson - Trust the Process (x, x, x)

#frank iero #frankieroedit #leathermouth #the hirs collective #mental health #userkam #these songs are SO MUCH ALIKE in what he's saying #which i find so interesting #also like. the way he's talking about how shit you try doesn't always work but keep fighting #life is a fight + never let it take you out #mental illness #trauma mention #medication cw #self harm mention #blood mention

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babyotterboy · 23 days

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sorry yall anon inbox submissions are revoked.. things got fuckin scary lmfao

again

minors

35+

it is not about YOU SPECIFICALLY BUT LEAVE ME ALONE

minors should not be in this space PERIOD it makes ME feel fucking gross. it’s dangerous for you. i am a literal fucking father and you guys actually make me wanna cry about how scary that is.

i get it. i WAS YOU THAT IS WHY I AM TELLING YOU TO STOP. it is DANGEROUS.

35+, this is a DNI inclusion not because i am unattracted to older men/trans masc people. i am. very. but i have. trauma.

disrespecting a DNI list is just not okay and i actually fuckin need to like take an hour because i’m steaming.

stop stepping on peoples boundaries.

i am not a toy. i am a person. with boundaries for a reason.

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phoenix-and-found-family · 1 month

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Phoenix: Hey, I can be serious! I'm not all chaos and good times.

Juniper, not buying it: Name one time you've ever been serious about anything.

Phoenix: I'm pretty serious about my horrific trauma flashbacks that I can't control.

Juniper:

Juniper: What now-

#agent phoenix #john juniper #i expect you to die #ieytd #agent phoenix ieytd #trauma mention

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desultory-suggestions · 1 year

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It is normal not to be able to recall your trauma. Your memories may be foggy, disorganized, inaccessible, or blank. You are not wrong, you are not dramatic, you are not dishonest. The mind is very powerful, and it will take measures to protect us for fear and harm even if we don’t choose to. Take the time you need to heal what you can feel even if you cannot name it.

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mlp-friendship-isnt-magic · 1 month

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I want to address something I saw while I was looking through aplatonic posts. I am not going to name names, I just want to confront this behavior.

Trauma is not an excuse to be rude or inconsiderate towards aplatonic people.

I understand that some people have trauma related to friendship, whether that is experiencing a split from a close friend, being forced to move away from close friends, or having extremely negative experiences being friendless. Your trauma is valid, and you should be allowed to talk about it.

What isn’t okay is hunting down aplspec posts to be rude and argue with people about their own identity, then using your trauma as an excuse when you are called out for aplmisia. It’s all right to not relate to any of the aplatonic experience because of your own experiences with friendship. If you need to, you can block the aplatonic and aplspec tags, ensuring you don’t see content that might bother you.

But it is NEVER okay to actively be rude to aplspecs talking about their OWN EXPERIENCES. End of story.

#aplatonic #aplspec #tw aplmisia #trauma mention

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honeypleasejustkillme · 1 year

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i want to heal. it’s hard to do in toxic environments. people think healing is just therapy and working on urself but it’s not. if ur in a toxic environment you make progress and then you keep taking steps back, and it’s not as simple as just moving out. some people don’t have money, some people are disabled, some people are stuck in abusive toxic places. people think it’s easy to just heal but u don’t get it. it’s easy for u to say if u live in a healthy environment

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd #bpd fp #bpd shitposting #bpd vent #actually borderline #bpd problems #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #it’s not so easy #cpstd #trauma mention #healing journeys are all different

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companionplanting · 1 year

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Hey

I know it's tempting, and I know it's hard to accept, but brute forcing your way to find your trauma isn't going to help you or your system.

Trust me, we get it. You just wanna know, you wanna understand and you don't want to have a guessing game each day but trauma holders formed for a reason. Your system formed from trauma for a reason.

What you should focus on is getting better, strengthening communication, and building a more comfortable and safer life for the whole system. Being out of the loop sucks, and I understand that nagging feeling to just know what's happened already.

But you would never try to force a friend to blurt out their trauma unprompted. You would never interrogate and cross boundaries with the people you love to make them reveal their trauma to you.

It'll happen in time. They will open up. You just have to trust them and be patient. You just have to heal from what you know now and be ready for when they do open up. They aren't your enemy in this, they do care for you, even if it may not feel that way.

-🌺

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agerefandom · 17 days

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Blitzø Regression Headcanons <3

regression is a trauma trait from Blitzø's early childhood: he had some issues with developmental milestones and his parents often fought about how to handle it

it got a lot more pronounced and disruptive after the fire

will push himself to do stupid things just to prove that he's not actually a kid and he's just "being stupid" (ie. drinking, getting into fights, etc.)

both deeply insecure and dismissive about his regression ("just another way he's fucked up")

easily startled by loud noises

I also headcanon Loona as a regressor: when Blitzø starts taking care of her, he learns better how to take care of himself, but starts feeling like it's twice as important to hide it

loves horse movies, obviously, and also figurines and also drawing them and also talking about them and reading books about them and-

incredibly talkative when comfortable, but shuts down verbally when defensive or nervous

indignant when a caregiver tries to limit his actions to something more age appropriate: "I know how to drive!!!!!! Lemme go!!!"

luckily, he's very easy to redirect with a question, a suggestion, or the slightest bit of affection

one of his favourite things is someone scratching his head between the spikes and horns, he'll be a melted purring mess

imps hold onto their tails when they're kids and Blitzø tends to do it when he's slipping

his art style does not change much, but his writing is even harder to read than usual

#helluva boss agere #agere headcanons #fandom agere #agere writing #my headcanons #my writing #agere moodboard #my moodboards #trauma mention #cursing #alcohol mention #hopefully the centre image is a voxtagram post and not fanart lol #it's hard to keep track in this fandom #i'll replace it if it's not by the creator #ask to tag #helluva boss

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birb--birb · 7 months

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The more I play, the more I think people that who super dislike Astarion have never experienced a trauma before.

Like ofc you're allowed to dislike a character for any reason, but it also makes so much sense why he is how he is when you unlock his positive approval rating covos. He's a snarky stab happy fuckboy yes, but his quest for power isn't unjustified. Astarion is scared, he's terrified he'll be brought back to Cazador and tortured 5 ways to sunday, if not outright killed. The tadpole is what's keeping him safe, and he isn't going to give it up without a fight. So he thinks the only way to ensure his safety and freedom is to go full scorched earth, take as much power by any means possible no matter who it hurts. He's a spurr of the moment decion maker, of course he's not going to think it through. When your ticket to freedom after 200 years of torture is right there, you don't stop to think about the cost of it, to yourself or others.

Astarion doesn't want power so he can rule over the sword coast, he wants power to make sure no one ever can ever hurt him again. You hear something simular in folks who have experienced trauma (plz understand that I'm generalizing here, trauma is processed differently by different people no one brain is the same). Anger, grief, fear, confusion, terror all are things that can go through your mind after a traumatic event occurs. Your brain is trying to find a way to make things hurt less, so if there's a chance for revenge, or the ability to take back power, you bet your ass its gonna sound delicious to your emotionally flooded brain. This is what I think is at the core of Astarions story. That this confident, cunning, flirtatious vampire is mostly an act, it's what he's practiced and what's protected him thus far. He likely learned that showing any sort of vulnerability is a weakness that will be used against him. His grab for power is selfish yes, but not in the way it seems at the surface. But absolutely power will corrupt absolutely, which is why I say his desire is justified, but not exactly supported depending on what type of run you're doing.

Idk man I just immediately looked at this man and went "aweeh.... it's traumatized". That boi ain't got any coping skills whatsoever and I'm a sucker for characters who's confidence is just a ploy to keep you from seeing just how fucked up they actually are. Anyways each character in this damn game is written so freaking well I could write a billion essays about it everyone say thank you Larian

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multiplicity-positivity · 10 days

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Here’s some positivity for systems who have recently rediscovered their plurality!

For many systems, their process of plural discovery can be messy, complicated, or difficult to understand. Some systems may have members who completely forget about their multiplicity, only to rediscover it later on. There is nothing wrong with forgetting, rediscovering, or struggling to come to terms with or remember your systemhood! This post is for all those who are rediscovering or re-questioning their plurality!

🌸 Shoutout to those who rediscovered their plurality after being made to forget for their own safety!

🕊 Shoutout to those who aren’t sure whether or not they are plural despite having identified as such in the past!

💕 Shoutout to empty systems who have recently realized that they are in fact empty systems rather than singlets!

🦢 Shoutout to dualconscious systems who forget about their plurality from time to time!

🌸 Shoutout to systems who feel like they’re in a constant state of discovery or rediscovery!

🕊 Shoutout to those who rediscovered their system after forgetting due to being fakeclaimed, hurt, or traumatized in some way!

💕 Shoutout to those with complex dissociative disorders whose dissociative barriers makes it difficult for them to maintain awareness of their system!

🦢 Shoutout to those who rediscovered their system after forgetting due to having memory issues of any kind!

🌸 Shoutout to individual headmates who have recently realized or remembered that they’re not alone in their own minds!

🕊 Shoutout to systems whose process of rediscovery has been challenging, upsetting, or painful!

💕 Shoutout to systems who have easily embraced their plurality after their rediscovery!

Having multiple instances of system discovery is actually a normal and common aspect of the questioning process for many systems. If you have recently rediscovered your plurality after forgetting about it, hiding it, or brushing it aside for any reason, we want to let you know that we see you, we believe you, and your rediscovery does not invalidate your plurality in any way, shape, or form! Know that you belong in the plural community, and we are so very happy to have you here!

If you’ve rediscovered your plurality recently, please don’t go hard on yourself for forgetting or refusing to acknowledge your system. What matters most is that you have made progress on your journey of self-discovery! Even if you forget again in the future, that doesn’t negate your progress whatsoever. Please remember to take it easy and have some patience and compassion for yourself and your system! Thank you so much for reading, and take care!

#multiplicity #plurality #pluralgang #actuallyplural #system positivity #plural positivity #plural pride #system pride #rediscovery #syscovery #trauma mention #fakeclaiming mention

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